Monthly Archives: April 2018

April 29, 2018 – A Lot of Dead, a Little Rambling & Another One Bites the Dust


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Fear the Walking Dead

Nick burns the crops. I guess he’s still not done fighting the weevils. Too bad they can’t feed the weevils to the zombies and get the zombies to do the farming.

Al asks what they did to Nick. She tells him that she’s just trying to help. They’re all breathing, which means they’re on the same team. Victor thinks they should have reached the turn-off by now. Al says she gave them the right directions, just not all of them. She wants their stories, and they want to know where she found the flag. She’s not letting them take her van or threaten them anymore. Nick says this is how it’s going to be, and Al asks if he knows how many times she’s been zip-tied. She manages to grab Nick, getting him to drop is weapon, and tells Luci to pull over. Nick tells Luci not to do it. They see a cluster of zombies, and Al says, change of plans; keep driving. There’s a scuffle, thanks to Nick, and Luci turns, but into a ditch. Nice going. Although a few zombies were creamed in the process.

Nick makes stupid faces as he comes to, and John reaches for the wheel.

Nick is back at the stadium. Madison asks if he’s okay, and tells him she’s going on a run. He says he’s coming; he wants to help.

Nick wakes up next to a pile of zombies, and John trying to get the truck out. Al says they have to get a tow. Then they’ll talk about whatever they have to – or not. They can go on their way if they want. Luci thinks they could use a truck from a service yard she saw. Victor says often the start of a negotiation requires an act of faith. John asks Al if she trusts him, and Al says, probably not. She unties all of them, hesitating when she gets to Victor. She ties Nick to the truck. Morgan says he’ll only slow them down, so he’ll stay. Al asks if he’ll be there when they get back he says if he’s not, something went wrong. John takes the others up the hill. Luci tells Nick they won’t be gone long.

Morgan reads, and Nick asks what he’s reading. Morgan is silent, and Nick asks for something to eat. Morgan cuts his ties, and tells him get it himself. Nick asks if he isn’t worried. He reaches for Morgan, and Morgan knocks him on his face, saying he’s not worried. (Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.) Nick gets a protein bar, and asks if Morgan likes peanut butter. He gives Morgan half, and introduces himself. Morgan says he’s going up to the road and not to move five feet from the truck. Nick picks up Morgan’s book, The Art of Peace, and flips though it.

Nick looks around the truck, and finds the video camera. He fast-forwards through John’s interview, and stops on Morgan’s. Morgan practices with his pokey stick, but his leg hurts. He sees car racing down the roads, and runs – as fast as he can anyway – back to the truck. He tells Nick to get down. Nick sees the car go past, and grapples with Morgan. They cause the horn to go off. It’s stuck, and just continues to blare. Zombies pop out of everywhere. Nick takes off. Morgan asks Nick to toss him his stick, and Nick runs. I’m annoyed that Nick is leaving injured Morgan to the zombies, so he can chase after a flashy old convertible.

We see a close-up of a zombie. Then a close-up of Al slicing its skull. Luci sees a huge wheel of cable, and thinks it would work. John hopes they can get Al’s truck out by sundown. They drive back in a flatbed truck, carrying the wheel. Victor believes Al’s mission is one of benevolence; they’re alive after an aggressive introduction. He asks if she’s doing it for a reason. She says she wants them to clean up the mess they made. He thinks there’s more to it than that, and she says, their stories. He asks, for who? and she says she doesn’t know how it ends. It might be the only thing left. Victor says there will be no one to see it, and Al says, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that it’s captured. She sees a scar on his hand, and asks what happened and why is he trying to hide it? He asks her again, why? She says, the truth matters. That’s the trade; the truth about him for the flag. He says they’re just words, and she says, more than that. Luci joins them, saying she gets it. She says Al knows her sh*t, except for the sh*t about the truth. Victor says he’ll consider the offer.

Nick runs. He looks into the woods and sees some bluebonnets.

Nick and Madison drive past Mel and the Vulture gang. Ohh, the blue convertible is their car. Mel greets Madison, and tells her it’s slim pickin’s unless you know where to look. Madison says they’ll manage. He’s glad to see Nick is back out again. He tosses The Little Prince into their car, asking Nick to tells his girlfriend that Charlie doesn’t like children’s books. They drive away, and Nick says she didn’t stand a chance. Charlie was never staying with them, no matter what. Madison says they’ll get her back. Nick asks how Madison does it, and she says wherever she goes, she tries to look for something good. A ravioli billboard, an armadillo, a sign that people tried to help each other. She always sees something.

Nick picks a flower. This is one of those episodes where they go back and forth in time. I hate that. If I want to watch that, I’ll watch Once Upon a Time. We hear zombie gurgles. Here they come. Nick whacks them with a hammer, but gets knocked down. One zombie comes close, like a few inches from his face, but Morgan whacks it and stabs it in the head. He tells Nick that they need to find someplace safe, and helps him up.

Morgan and Nick ease on down the road. Nick says the others will wonder what happened, but Morgan says they’ll find them. They come to a town where there are a few zombies toddling around, and they kill them. Nick asks if Morgan is okay. Morgan suggest they sit tight. Nick asks why Morgan helped him, and Morgan says he doesn’t kill.

Madison and Nick find that stinking convertible in front of a church, with a bunch of canned goods in crates in the back. It’s Mel’s brother, Ennis. Nick asks if he’s following them, and Ennis says they were there first. He tells them to get a faster car. Charlie comes out of the church, and Ennis says Mel told them she has a knack for finding the good stuff. Nick tells Charlie that she doesn’t have to listen. Ennis says she wants to. He found her, and taught her how to make it. Nick moves toward Ennis. Madison tells him, now is not the time. Ennis says he keeps his family safe. Nick is on him, holding a knife to his throat. Madison tells him to stop. Ennis is bleeding, and tells Charlie, let’s get out of here.

Morgan tapes his leg. Nick asks if he wants help, and Morgan says he’s got it. Nick tells him to lay off the karate. Morgan tells Nick to stop getting himself in trouble, and its not karate. Nick asks what it is, and Morgan says, just not karate. Nick thinks they should find a car before they come back. Morgan says, the El Camino? telling us what kind of cool car it is. Morgan says it’s not going to work out how Nick thinks, and asks what they did to him. Nick says he bets Morgan has killed, and asks why did he stop? Who did he lose? He says he saw the tape, repeating Morgan’s words; I lose people, then lose myself. Morgan says he’s not telling him. If Nick wants to hunt down the ones who hurt him, it’s his business.

The horn on Al’s truck is still blasting, and zombies crowd around it. They see an arrow made out of sticks on the ground, showing them which way Nick and Morgan went. Al says she’s not leaving, and they won’t find out about the flag; not from her anyway. John says Morgan might need them; it’s just a van. Al says she has things in it, and tells him to go; she’ll be fine. Alicia says they’ll get the van out, and Victor says it’s their act of faith. He tells Luci to go find Nick. Alicia tells Al they’re not going to try anything with two of them out there. Victor says why not just tell them; how did she find those people? Al says she’ll answer all of their questions; let her film them doing what they do. Alicia says, deal. They can turn off this horn any time now.

Alicia gets the zombies’ attention, and picks them off, while Al shoots at the others. Alicia hooks the van up to the flatbed. She crawls underneath the truck, and out the other side. She gets in the cab. Victor starts up the flatbed, and pulls the van out.

Morgan sees Ennis, who tells Morgan to keep walking; there’s nothing for him there. Morgan says Ennis needs to leave, and Ennis says, or what? Ennis sees Nick, and says, holy sh*t! He didn’t think he’d see Nick. Morgan tells Nick to walk away, and Ennis says he should listen to his friend. It’s been good to see him, but he has to get some pimentos back. Unless Nick wants to give him a hand. Nick looks Morgan in the eye, and asks if he’s going to do what it takes to stop him. Morgan steps back, and Nick says, didn’t think so.

Nick tells Madison that Charlie saw everything, but didn’t do anything. He would have been trying to do the right thing, but she did the worst thing. Being out there makes him feel more trapped, like who he’ll be is closing in on him and suffocating him.

Nick jumps Ennis.

Morgan walks away, and keeps going.

Nick and Ennis fight. Ennis cracks Nick in the head with a jar of pimentos.

Morgan is like, dammit, and turns around.

Ennis has a knife a millimeter away from Nick’s eyeball. A deer head has fallen down during their scuffle, and Nick pushes Ennis back onto the antlers, where he’s impaled. That’s not good enough, so Nick pushes on him, until he’s finished. Great. A zombie with a deer head attached to it. Just what everyone needs.

John looks at a downed zombie, and says looks like a stick-based trauma. He asks Luci why Nick was worried she wouldn’t come back, and she says one time she didn’t. Al comes by in the truck. John asks if Luci left because she didn’t love Nick. She says she left, but still loved him.

Morgan finds Nick, his hands drenched in blood. Nick asks what he wants. Morgan says it was his wife, his son, and his friends. That’s who he lost before he lost himself. He knows where Nick is; he was there. He didn’t know how to make it stop, or if he wanted it to. He didn’t think he could find his way out. Then he met someone; a man who didn’t have to help him, but did. The man showed him all life is precious, and it helped; It still dos. Nick asks, how exactly? Morgan takes out the book, and says the books is part of it. Nick says, too late, and Morgan says, believe me, it’s not. He puts the book into Nick’s bloodied hands. He says they can talk about it; talk about anything. Nick takes the book.

Sitting on some steps, Nick reads. Al comes with the others in the truck. Al checks through her tapes. She puts one on top that says, The Bog, along with the dates it was filmed.

Nick puts the book in his pocket, and takes out the bluebonnet. He contemplates it.

Madison drives while Nick navigates. She stops by a field of bluebonnets. Nick lies down in the middle of them.

Nick hears a gunshot. He puts his hand on his chest, and realizes he’s been shot. Charlie stands in front of him with a gun. She backs away, and he falls. Luci and Alicia find him. Charlie disappears. Victor tries to stop the bleeding. Alicia tells him to look at her; it’s going to be fine. That’s highly doubtful, since blood is pouring out of his mouth and he’s gasping for air. Nick tries to talk, but he’s never going to talk again. He’s dead. Victor looks at Luci. Morgan is like, damn, I want my book back. Alicia wails over Nick’s body. Luci cries silently, and Victor holds her.

Nick lies in the bluebonnet field.

Next time, Al does some interviews, Mel asks if Madison wants a weenie (spoiler: she says she’s good), and we see the amusement park.

💬 Funny aside. On Talking Dead, during Nick’s “obituary,” it said no one told him, never look at the flowers. Two of the episode writers were guests, and said they liked the idea, but if it was a reference to Carol in The Walking Dead, it was subconscious. They did add that was one of their favorite episodes though. You decide…

🍑 Tonight, The Real Housewives of Atlanta had a 10th Anniversary special. It was fun to see all the wigs gone by, and the pulling thereof. Also the many noses of Kim and NeNe. What’s with Kim anyway? Why does she seem human on Don’t Be Tardy, and she’s a raving lunatic on Housewives? And was she a cast member without a peach this season? That was confusing. Kim is confusing. And why does she want to look like she’s fifty when she’s barely past thirty? So many questions I will never have answered.

⚓ I’m almost caught up with The Terror, having watched a marathon today. My town had a marathon today too, which bounced me out of bed at the crack of dawn, with the base from a loudspeaker blasting bad music. But that’s another story. The Terror is a cool show – no pun intended. The icy scenery is fabulous though, and makes you feel cold just looking at it. The atmosphere is creepy as hell. Like Ravenous, but on a boat, and without the Civil War and cannibalism. No cannibalism yet anyway. Being out in the middle of frozen nowhere, long before we had radios, is scary enough, but with an unknown entity – they keep saying it’s a bear, but no way it’s a bear – that keeps chopping people in half, it delivers what the title promises. I’m through episode five – I think tomorrow is seven – and in it for the long haul. Or short, or whatever the haul is.

😢 Sigh…






April 27, 2018 – Franco Makes a Phone Call, TripliQuotes, an Extra Quote & Hair


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sam asks Curtis what he’s looking for in Peter’s office.

Elizabeth sees Drew at the hospital, and asks why he’s there. He’s looking for Franco; he has something to tell him. Elizabeth nosily asks what, but Drew asks if she’d mind if he didn’t tell her. He asks how she’s doing, and she’s concerned about Franco. He’s doing whatever he can to keep distracted. Anything and everything, except what he needs to do.

Franco works with a little girl in art therapy, as Doc watches. When she leaves, Doc says Franco is a natural. Franco says kids and dogs tolerate him. Doc found a support group, and thinks spending time with others who understand will further Franco’s recovery. Franco balks at the idea, and Doc asks if that isn’t what he wants. What he wants is to never look back. Doc asks how that’s different from running away. Franco says he’s spent more days than he can count not being able to look himself in the eye, how can he look at anyone else?

Sonny says it’s good that Dante is stepping up for his grandfather; it means a lot. Dante says keeping Mike calm only goes so far. Sonny will have some tough decisions to make about Mike’s care going forward. Diane says he’s charming one minute, and obnoxious the next. Given his erratic behavior and the abduction charge, the judge might consider him a flight risk, and Sonny has the resources to spirit him out of the country. Diane is working on it, but Sonny needs to prepare himself for the fact that Mike might not be coming home tonight.

Ava tells Nelle she’s not liking how Griff is acting. She wishes she could fast-forward to when she has full custody of Avery. Nelle says she needs to be strategic and cautious. Ava says Sonny might get payback, so what?

Anna tells Finn that she hopes Robert wasn’t too overbearing; he comes on strong at first. Finn admits he did attempt to confiscate Robert’s cronut, and there was a misunderstanding. Anna wants to talk to him about something.

On the phone, Valentin tells someone to all him, and says they have more to worry about than they realize. Robert strolls into the living room, and Valentin asks how the hell he got into the house. Robert says he knows his way around the place, and loves what he’s done with it. Valentin says it’s Robert Scorpio in the flesh – and in his house. It’s odd they’ve never met, although he’s heard a lot about him from his ex-wife. Robert says it feels like they’re old friends.

Curtis tells Sam that she busted him. He’ll know what he’s looking for when he finds it. Sam asks who hired him? If he wasn’t Drew’s friend, she’d be calling the cops. Is it corporate espionage, or is there something they don’t know about Peter?

Elizabeth tells Drew that Franco wants to skip the hard parts, but it’s not realistic. Drew says he and Franco talked in the car before he confronted Jim. Franco felt horrible for lying to her. She’d said she didn’t think he was born bad, and he keeps wondering how he could be worthy of her trust. She says Franco is already worthy. He’s carrying residual pain and self-doubt, and who knows when he’ll find his way though it. Drew says Franco has a lot behind him and in front of him. He can’t believe he’s saying this, but with her by his side, Franco will see his way through.

Franco says the last thing he wants to do is sit in a basement reliving the worst moments of his life with other people doing the same thing. Doc says they’re survivors. He didn’t cause or invite the abuse; there’s nothing to be ashamed of. No one thinks any less of him for being abused. Franco says they might think less of him for not stopping Jim from targeting anyone else.

Diane says they’ll get a statement from Mike’s doctor. Sonny says his doctor is Ava’s boyfriend; no way he won’t be bias. Dante says Griff was a priest, but Sonny says he left the priesthood for Ava. They don’t know what he’ll say.

Nelle tells Ava to consider her options. Ava says she’s in a perfect position to strike, and Nelle wants her to back off? Nelle says she wants Ava to get everything she wants. She can go in, guns blazing, and win, but she could also lose. Ava says no way she’ll lose, but Nelle says she could lose Griff. Ava knows him better than she does, but will he be okay with her using an old guy who’s his patient as a hostage? Ava says he’d never forgive her. Nelle tells her again to consider her options.

Anna never wanted to put Finn in danger, but it she used it as a convenience to put distance between them. He asks what she wants him to do.

Valentin says Robert and Anna have a similar annoying habit of showing up in his house uninvited. He can come back with a warrant or get to the point. Robert shows him a picture of the conundrum box, and asks him, what about this? Valentin says it appears to be a box. Robert asks if that’s not the Cassadine crest, and Valentin says it’s a matter of public record. He doesn’t see what it has to do with his family or him. Robert says it was found in Faison’s belongings.

Curtis says he’ll tell Sam everything, except who his client is. Drew is his homeboy; no way would he be involved in corporate espionage. He’s investigating Peter. Sam asks why, and he says something is missing from dude’s background. She asks what, and Curtis says, his background. Aside from the impressive resume and diploma, there are no records. He’s either a fake or a ghost.

Lucy sees Drew and Elizabeth. She says she hopes she’s not interrupting, but doesn’t really care if she is. She asks if they know what time of year it is. Drew says it’s time for sponsorship, and to give his office a call. He makes his escape, and Lucy says she loves when everyone rallies around the Ball. She asks if Elizabeth is going to grace the stage this year.

Franco tells Doc that he made a list of Jim’s victims, and has been carrying it around ever since, thinking what if he’s stopped Jim? What if he’d told the truth to Betsy? They wouldn’t have gone through it. Doc says he was a child; no way he could have taken on Jim. Neither could anyone else. Franco asks what if one of them is in the therapy group, and realizes what happened? That it didn’t have to happen. He could have stopped it, and Jim got a pass because he was too scared to do anything.

Diane says, assuming Griff gives an accurate description of Mike’s condition, it would go a long way. That’s the upside. The downside is that certain defendants, who are in organized crime, have used mental illness – dementia, in particular – along with doctors who are cooperative. Every time they talk about this, I get a mental picture of Vincent Gigante in a bathrobe. Diane says, given Mike’s connections, they might ignore the diagnosis. Sonny asks what if that happens, and Diane says they have to show his incompetence on the stand. Sonny asks if she wants him to humiliate his father in open court. Dante says another option is to give Ava full custody.

Anna tells Finn that Robert barged into her hotel room; she’d been working with Jason and Emma. Finn calls them, eclectic companions. She explains that it was a research mission. Jason was posing as their bodyguard, but he’s also looking for Henrik. They agreed work together. Finn asks why, and she says the WSB wants to question Henrik. Finn says, that’s not what he meant; why is she working with Jason? She’s more than capable herself, and there was no danger, or she wouldn’t have brought Emma. He asks if she’s back in the blackmailing business. She says she has to work with Jason. She can’t let him get ahead. He’s discerning for a hitman, but hard to stop. He regards Henrik as a threat. He has his reasons, but she can’t allow him to move in on the target. Finn says if Henrik is Faison’s accomplice – Anna corrects him, saying alleged – he’s culpable, so why is she responsible? She says this is what she wanted to tell him. He tells her to just say it, and she says she isn’t the person everyone believes she is.

Robert tells Valentin that it’s a conundrum box. Valentin says he’s heard of it; a puzzle that can only be opened by the intended recipient or it self-destructs. Robert says they don’t know if there’s something valuable inside or if Faison was baiting someone to get killed. Valentin says he doesn’t know and doesn’t care; he never met Faison. If it was him investigating it, he’d be looking at Helena, since they worked closely. Robert says, good guess, but wrong. Valentin asks how he’s so sure?

Elizabeth tells Lucy that she’s sorry, but she can’t this year. Lucy begs, and Elizabeth says she’ll fully support the Ball and attend, but she feels emotionally exhausted. Parts of her life are fragile, and she has to focus on those. Lucy says she can only assume it’s about Franco. She was once in love with a man in torment, and knows what it’s like to hang on by your fingertips. Her advice is to hold on tight, because love is worth it.

Franco tells Doc that he wishes he’d never forced Jim to make the list. Elizabeth wants him to call them, but it’s the last thing he wants to do. He could have protected them and didn’t. He told her that he didn’t know how to find them, but did some research because he was curious. He found three of them, but doesn’t know what to say. Doc asks what if one of them called him? What would he want to hear? Franco never thought about it. Doc says there was at least one before him; he wasn’t the first victim. Franco says he could have been the last. Doc says he was four years old, and to look at it through the lens of a small child, where adults have the power. The adults failed him. He went out of his way to protect Drew. His actions made sure Jim never got to Drew. Doc calls him a master of deflection, but he won’t truly begin to heal until he believes he’s not responsible. Then he can have the life he wants and deserves. Drew pops in, and says he can come back, but Doc needs to be somewhere. He tells Drew that his timing is perfect.

Robert tells Valentin, according to the lab, the box was made in the last six months. Valentin suggests maybe it was Faison’s final break with reality. He has nothing to do with the box or Faison; he never met him. Robert finds that hard to believe when they were obsessed with the same woman. Valentin stutters that Anna has nothing to do with it.

Sam tells Curtis that Drew needs to know about any potential threat. Curtis knows the company is all Drew has left, and he’s not trying to pull it out from under him. Not until he knows for sure. Sam says, like it or not, she’s in on it, and she’s not keeping secrets from him.

Drew tells Franco that he has news. He’s not being charged for shooting Jim. Life has odd complications, but now there are fewer for both of them with Jim gone. He was worried Elizabeth couldn’t accept him, but she’s worried about him not taking the time to process. It takes time to heal. It took guts facing Jim down; it took character. He hopes Franco can deal with it, and that the life he wants with Elizabeth works out. Franco thanks him, and he leaves.

Sonny says, no way; that’s off the table. Diane says, according to Scotty, Ava feels differently. Sonny says, who cares? Avery has been shuffled around enough already. The last thing he’s going to do is send her to the woman responsible for Morgan’s death. Dante says as the arresting officer, he can testify that Mike thought Avery was his daughter. Diane says Dante is Sonny’s son, and Mike is his grandfather; they might not take his testimony. The only way to prove to the judge that there was no intention of a crime is to put Mike on the stand. Sonny says he doesn’t want to parade Mike’s illness for the world to see. Diane doesn’t want it, but is afraid that’s how it has to be.

At Kelly’s, Nelle asks if Ava wants to eat her feelings. Ava says she’s anxious; there’s been no message from Griff. She says he’s probably busy at work. Maybe he’s avoiding her, but too bad. She may never have leverage over Sonny again. Nelle asks if the whole point isn’t to get both. Will forcing Sonny into an all or nothing compromise get her what she wants?

Finn understands that Anna has to make hard choices, but she’s not talking about work; it’s her personal life. The truth is, she’s come to care about how he sees her. She doesn’t want that to change. She’s afraid for him to discover what she’s done. She couldn’t bear for him to look at her with the same disdain she sees when she looks at herself.

Robert says, that’s right; Valentin stutters. Valentin says he guesses they both talk funny. Apparently, Robert has read his file cover to cover, and memorized the important parts. It makes sense that he’d want to protect Anna, whether or not she welcomes the interference. Robert says that twenty years ago, Valentin was in Bern. Valentin says he’s been lots of places. By then, he was already in the private sector, and international contracts took him all over. Robert tells him to hang on to the picture; he’ll let himself out. Valentin asks if that’s before or after he bugs the house. Robert says he knows Valentin is more than capable of having the place swept. It was a pleasure to meet him. Valentin wishes he could say the same. Outside, Robert says, gotcha!

Sam tells Curtis she was planning on telling Drew she was stepping down, but she’s not leaving when Aurora and Drew are vulnerable. She’ll stay on while he finishes the investigation. She’ll watch Peter from the corner of her eye, while he digs into Peter’s past. Can he consider her a partner?

Elizabeth goes to the art therapy room. She asks how Franco is, and he says he’s getting there. Doc got him to thinking. He asked if one of the boys had the opportunity to reach out to him, what would he want them to say? She asks what his answer was, and he says he wouldn’t want to know. If it was over, he wouldn’t want to know. She hugs him.

Finn takes Anna’s hand, and asks if she’s okay. Lucy breezes in, and says she heard rumors, and guesses they’re true. She just had the best idea in the history of ideas. She asks if Finn dances. He says, not really, and she says, perfect. They should do a romantic duet for the Nurses’ Ball. Robert overhears.

Sonny says Mike is dealing with not being home, losing his girlfriend, and his illness. If he’s put on the stand, he’ll ramble and look weak. Answering questions from a stranger will make him look bad. It will confuse and shatter him. Dante says they’ll be with him, but Sonny says they’ll have no control when he’s in the chair. Even if he survives the questioning, Ava is relentless. She wants Sonny to choose between his father and daughter.

Franco makes a call. He says they haven’t met, but have something in common. There’s something he should know about a man named Jim Harvey.

Curtis tells Sam, okay, and they do a complicated handshake. He says he has the lead on this case though, and will run it how he sees fit; can she dig it? Ha-ha! I love the way Curtis talks. Sam wants to get to bottom of it as much as he does. He asks if he can go back to ransacking Peter’s office, and Sam says she was never there. She sees Drew in the hallway. He says, she’s back. Like he didn’t know.

Ava goes to the station, and says, good; Sonny brought his lawyer.

Lucy says it’s the perfect opportunity to put the spotlight on themselves, and Anna can’t get out the door fast enough. Lucy sits with Finn, and says she knows how exes are. The ones who’ve been over each other a long time, and don’t annoy each other. She asked Robert to dance, but he flat-out refused. Why doesn’t Finn let Anna teach him to dance? Finn says he won’t perform, but will do everything to support the Ball. He leaves, and Lucy looks dejected.

Anna and Robert sit outside Kelly’s. Finn sees them, and keeps walking. Robert says Valentin’s behavior confirmed what he thought. Valentin delivered her son to Faison.

On Monday, Valentin tells Nina they won’t find what they’re looking for, Curtis says jackpot! and Ava tells Sonny she gets full custody, or his father goes to prison.

🙌 Quotes of the Week

Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring – it was peace. – Milan Kundera

You know, sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left.Itzhak Perlman, when talking about how he continued to play after breaking a string.

I don’t need a boost; I need a Valium. – daughter of a hoarder on Hoarding: Buried Alive, when asked if she needed help up mom’s trash heap.

👀 You’d Better Watch Out…

I got this by generating a random quote. It will either scare you, or you can pat yourself on the back.

Each time you are honest and conduct yourself with honesty, a success force will drive you toward greater success. Each time you lie, even with a little white lie, there are strong forces pushing you toward failure.Joseph Sugarman

🏆 In Honor of Miloš Forman – RIP

When Hair came out, movies were also only a few bucks and stayed in the theaters for months. It was during my early NYC days, and whenever I was sad, I’d walk to Times Square where it was playing, and see it again. I know that sounds weird, since the end is a little depressing, but there’s this. (I also did the same thing with Animal House.)


April 26, 2018 – Curtis Gets Caught, Peyton Arrives in Charleston, a Little Rambling & Sheldon


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Alexis’s phone rings. It’s Sam; she’s home. Alexis notes her use of the word “we.” She tells Sam the kids are at Monica’s. She asks if the trip was good, and Sam says they’ll talk later.

Sam opens the door to Maxie with Crimson paperwork. She says it’s crowded in the office.

Lulu comes into Peter’s office on crutches. She explains she broke her foot while chasing Rocco. Peter asks if she needs a leave-of-absence, but she came for some advice. Henrik hasn’t responded to her asking for a meeting, and there’s too much up in air for her next move. Peter thinks a meeting might be too drastic. Lulu agrees. The more comfortable Henrik is with her, the more clues he might reveal. Peter asks if she’s gotten anything so far.

Curtis goes to Windemere. He needs her advice. She asks if it’s about Peter, and he says, it’s about marriage. She and Valentin have managed to make things work. Nina can’t talk right now, and he needs to get into Peter’s office. She’d love to talk his ear off about marriage when they’re done with Peter. He’ll be at the senior staff meeting, and it’s the perfect opportunity. With impeccable soap timing, Valentin appears, and asks, for what?

Anna and Robert go to Kelly’s. Anna needs caffeine. Robert remembers the days when she didn’t have jet lag. Anna remembers the days when he had a mullet. He wonders what Emma is going to tell her class about the trip, and Anna says like a good operative, she’ll say nothing. Anna asks for his tablet, so she can look at the conundrum box. She says Faison left it for someone to find, but who? Robert says, someone with last name of Cassadine.

Maxie asks where Sam was. Sam gives her a hint: The Alps and banks. She gives Maxie some chocolate, and explains about Danny putting his thumb on the globe to decide where to go. Maxie says whenever she does that, it always lands on the Indian Ocean. Sam says they hiked so much, she can eat all the chocolate she wants. She tells Maxie that Jason and Spinelli showed up, and they all worked on a case. She asks why Maxie is there, an Maxie says she didn’t want to risk running into Lulu. Fortunately, she has friends who care, like Sam and Peter. For someone she barely knew, he’s been incredibly supportive.

Lulu tells Peter that Henrik seems eager to share his side of story; he did write the book. He wants the world to know he was a victim, not an accomplice, although he was involved with Klein and holding Jason captive. Peter says his intent was unknown, and he was instrumental in keeping Jason alive. She says that’s why she came to him instead of her editor. He seems to understand what drives a man like Henrik. Peter thinks she’s smart enough to trust her own instincts; Dante should be relieved. He realizes Lulu hasn’t told him.

Nina says Valentin will never guess why Curtis came by, and he says, she’s right. She says he has marriage on his mind. Curtis says he’s been thinking about stuff, and weighing it. He admires how they make their marriage work, and Nina graciously offered to give him pointers. Curtis asks if Valentin has any hints for a brother taking the plunge. Valentin says, honesty, and tells them to drop the side thing. He asks what’s going on.

Anna tells Robert that she’s not sure Valentin and Faison ever crossed paths. Robert says Valentin has turned up in unexpected places. Anna thinks the box was meant for Helena. They worked closely, and Helena was a big influence. Faison’s will was textbook Helena. He was always cruel, but it had her spitefulness. Robert starts to nod off, and claims he’s thinking about paperwork. Anna calls him a liar, and gets up to leave. She tells him that she has an idea, and jets. He realizes she took his tablet.

Finn asks Alexis if anything is wrong, and she says Sam is back from her big trip. She hopes everything works out, and Finn asks if she means spiritually, professionally, or emotionally. She says, all three. Sam has a lot to confront. She tells Finn an interlude can only last so long until you have to go back to reality. He thought they agreed enjoy journey, and she says, she did, but she’s not that girl. She buys trip insurance on the way to the airport; she’s a planner. Spontaneity doesn’t typically end well for her. Finn says there’s always an exception to the rule. She asks if he wants to do it again, and he says, yes. They jump onto the couch.

Maxie tells Sam before she says it, she’s not filling in the gap with Lulu. Lulu is selfish and has a sense of entitlement. She never faces any consequences. She throws up her hands and says she’s a Spencer, and gets a free pass. She’s done with it. Sam tells her the difference between a catastrophic screw-up and maliciousness, is intent. Maxie says Lulu won’t even admit she’s wrong; she just defends her intent. She says Nathan was a willing participant, so it’s his fault, not hers. Nothing is ever Lulu’s fault. Lulu makes her bitter and angry, and it’s not good for the baby. She’d rather talk about her new unexpected friend Peter.

Peter thought Lulu didn’t tell Dante because of Avery being missing. Lulu says she’s grateful Avery has been found, but Dante’s family has been through turmoil. She admits that’s just an excuse. She’s not ready to tell him. If she’s going to justify it, she needs more than a couple of emails. She need to get to the truth, and draw Henrik out of hiding.

Nina tells Valentin they have nothing to hide, and Valentin says, then why not just tell him. She says she knew he’d react this way, and tells Curtis to take notes; this is where it gets fun. Valentin says he knows she hired Curtis to dig up dirt on Peter. Nina says, not to dig up dirt, to find the truth; there’s a difference. Valentin asks if she found what she was looking for.

Sam didn’t realize Maxie and Peter were so close. Maxie says it surprised her too, but he’s easy to be around, and he cares. She doesn’t have to pretend she’s not a total mess He even went with her when she had the baby tested for Huntington’s Disease. He was supportive, like he had a stake in it. Sam says he does – her. Maxie wishes Nina felt like that. She thinks she should the only one Maxie leans on. Sam says she has to understand that Maxie has a process she needs to go through. Maxie says sometimes it’s just easier with Peter. He got her out of the MetroCourt to face the memories. He went with her to the apartment, and crashed on the couch in case she had a breakdown. The first thing she saw was a package with a baby blanket that Nathan ordered, and she was pretty emotional about it. Peter got her to focus on the good memories, and how excited she and Nathan were about the baby. Sam says there’s clearly more to Peter than they thought.

Finn and Alexis get busy. A timer goes off, and she says it’s her casserole. She’s all excited, and runs into the kitchen. The doorbell rings, and she asks him to get it. It’s Anna, who tells him that he missed a button. He says, she’s home. She says, he’s not. He asks her in, and she says, sorry, she should have called. She needs to discuss a legal matter with Alexis. Finn says that’s his cue to leave, and kisses Alexis goodbye. Anna says it looks like things are going well. They fumble a little with small talk, and Anna shows her the box on Robert’s tablet. She asks if Alexis has seen it.

Valentin tells Nina that he thought they shared everything. She says she told him that she hired Curtis. He says she’s perilously close to defamation. She says she’s protecting Maxie, since her brother isn’t there to do it, and why is Valentin is protecting Peter over Maxie?

Sam tells Maxie that she was thinking about stepping down from Aurora. She owns it with Drew. It was his dream, and they wanted to do it as family. She needs to find time with herself, and figure out who she is. It sounds cliché, but as an independent woman, she doesn’t want to be behind a desk. She’s a PI, and pretty damn good at it. She wants to focus on that.

The waitress tells Robert that his cronut will be out shortly.  He gets a call from Frisco, and asks if the box was x-rayed. He takes notes with a crayon he finds on the table, and writes, lithium alloy, no x-ray. He guesses it wasn’t meant for Helena. Finn walks in, and orders a gallon of coffee and a cronut. The waitress says they’re out of them, and he asks, what about this one? picking up the cronut meant for Robert. Robert asks what he thinks he’s doing.

Sam tells Maxie about posing as a prospective client at the bank. Maxie asks if they robbed it, and Sam says they infiltrated it. Maxie asks if they took anything, which constitutes robbery, and Sam says whatever they took will be put to good use, and she sleeps well at night. Maxie says, what if they’d gotten caught, but Sam says they have so much dirt on the bank manager, he practically works for them now. Sam just wants Maxie to be happy, and Maxie says, her too, but she’ll get there eventually. Sam thinks it’s great that Maxie is holding on to good memories and moving forward; it makes her feel better about what she did. She asks if Maxie remembers putting things in boxes for the homeless shelter, and Maxie says it was the worst mistake, and Sam is glad she said that. Sam goes to the closet, and gives Maxie a box, saying she kept this for her. Maxie thanks her, and we all get teary.

Valentin says he’s trying to protect Nina’s job; Peter is the CEO of her parent company. This could be considered corporate espionage and grounds for termination at the very least. Nina says let them try; they’d be lost without her. Valentin says as much as the magazine would suffer without her, she would suffer without her job. It fuels her creativity and means something to her. She says Maxie means more. Valentin asks if they’ve tapped Peter’s phones or hacked his computer, but Curtis says, nothing like that; he’s just done some preliminaries. Valentin suggest he be discreet. He can see how much Nina has to lose. Curtis says he has a renewed appreciation for the bachelor life, but Nina says they’ll work it out; stay tuned. Valentin says he just got a front row seat to the negotiations in marriage. Nina tells Valentin that if Curtis and Jordan don’t make it to the altar, it’s his fault. He tells her that she’s looking for trouble where there isn’t any, and she hopes so. He tells her that if they find anything, tell him.

Robert tells Finn to put the cronut back. Finn offers to pay him for it, but he says it’s not for sale. Finn says he’s the shower guy. He heard him in Anna’s room. They introduce themselves, and Finn asks if he’s with Anna now.

Alexis recognizes the crest, but not the box. Anna explains that it’s a conundrum box, imprinted so no one except the recipient can open it or it self-destructs. Alexis says it sounds like something you’d find on Cassadine Island. She wishes she could be more helpful, and asks if it has anything to do with her search for Faison’s son. Anna says it’s a WSB matter. She has another matter she wanted to discuss with Alexis; adding a codicil to her will. She wants to make sure her children are provided for. Alexis says, children? Anna says her heirs; Robin has two children now. Alexis says if she’d like another attorney, she can recommend Diane, but Anna says she trusts Alexis with her affairs, immediately realizing her poor choice of words. She tells Alexis that she’ll call next time.

Peter tells Lulu that he has to prepare for a meeting. It’s supposed to be on policy, but inevitably, someone asks about the budget, so he has to be on his game. She asks if he thinks she’s right in playing the long game and keeping Dante in the dark for now. He tells her to trust her instincts. She thinks Henrik is probably like everyone else, somewhere in the middle; not a hero or a villain. It haunts her that Faison wasn’t not like everyone else. There were no shades of grey; he was cruel, twisted, and evil. He was Henrik’s father, and no matter how bad Henrik might be, it’s not his fault; he didn’t have a chance. Peter tells Lulu that her compassion and humanity make her a great reporter.

Maxie goes through the box, and says she thought it was gone. Sam offers to keep it there, but Maxie says she doesn’t think she can ever leave it again. She can’t thank Sam enough. They hug. Sam tells her that friends don’t always do what we want, and sometimes fail miserably, but they’re still friends. Maxie says some things are unforgivable. She’s suddenly hungry, and says she’s going to Kelly’s. She invites Sam along, but Sam has something to take care of, and there’s no putting it off.

Nina has to get to the meeting. Valentin tells her whatever she and Curtis have planned, keep him in the loop. She insists they know what they’re doing, but he says only one of them went to spy school. She needs an alibi in case they get caught. She says in this case, the less he knows, the better.

Finn tells Robert it’s none of his business. His association with Anna was temporary, and now it’s over. Robert asks if he figures she’s not worth fighting for, and Finn says he’s staying away for his own protection. Robert says he needs the cronut more, and leaves. He runs into Anna outside, and she returns his tablet. He tells her to ask next time, and she says, like he asked to share her hotel room? He tells her that there’s a guy in danger of eating his heart out inside. She goes in, and sees Finn.

Nina stops by Peter’s office, and says he’d better get going. He says he thought of delegating it to her, but she thinks they need to hear from the CEO. They leave, and Nina says she’ll be right there. She texts Curtis that the coast is clear. She turns out the light and shuts the door.

Maxie sees Lulu sitting outside Kelly’s. She asks what happened, and Lulu explains. Maxie asks if Lulu wants her to tell the waitress she’s out there. Lulu says she’s just resting, and Maxie tells her to feel better. Lulu calls her back, and says thanks.

Curtis goes into Peter’s office, and looks around with a flashlight.

On the phone, Valentin tells someone that they need to call him. They’re in more trouble than they think. Robert strolls into the living room. Valentin asks how he got in, and he says he knows his way around. Robert loves what he’s done with the place.

Alexis picks up Finn’s tie and remembers them talking about giving it a try.

Anna sits with Finn. She says he met her ex, and he nods.

Curtis continues looking around. He hears someone. Sam walks in, and asks what he’s doing there.

Tomorrow, Ava tells Nelle that Sonny is getting payback, Sam asks Curtis is there’s something about Peter they don’t know, Anna tells Finn that she’s not the person everyone believes she is, and Diane says Mike might not be going home.

Southern Charm

Craig reads the paper, Shep practices putting, Naomie feeds the cat, Austen puts on a facial mask, and Cameran bounces on a giant ball, asking the baby to move lower.

Cameran says Michael is the best gift. Patricia loaned him to her. He brings her a bunch of supplies and a mixer for making baby food. He says it’s easier than it seems, but she says she’ll be buying Gerber. She asks if Michael will rub her feet and not feel weird; Jason won’t do it. Michael says he’d be glad to. Jason is her husband; he’s a domestic. Cameran says, best gift ever, but feels like Michael is cheating on Patricia.

Craig video chats with his parents. His mom says he looks a little drunk, and he says he just took a nap. She asks how his sewing is going, and he’s going for a pillowcase a night. He says he and Naomie are so emotionally charged when they see one another, they don’t know how to handle it. She runs at the first sign of trouble. They speak different languages. His parents say they’ve been married a long time, and are still navigating that. Craig is interested in calling a life coach that he met. He knows his problems, but hasn’t done anything to fix it.

Thomas meets JD (bleh) for lunch. Thomas got in a workout and JD says he’s doing eight-ounce free-weights. Oh, har-har-hardy-har-har, you idiot. Thomas asks what’s going on. JD said he was single, but showed up at the shower with Elizabeth. JD says they’re staying friends, and decided to go to the shower together. Thomas tells him it confused everyone, and JD says it’s complicated; they have three kids. Thomas says if they’re really doing it for the kids, they should stay apart, but be harmonious. In his interview, Thomas says it was better for him and Kathryn to be apart. The negative energy isn’t healthy for the kids. He tells JD he has to protect himself. JD appreciates the advice, which probably means it went in one ear and out the other. It went quickly too, since there’s nothing in there. Thomas says it’s a role reversal.

Kathryn calls Cameran who only has three more weeks to go. Kathryn asks what’s going on. Cameran hates that Kathryn couldn’t come to the shower. In her interview, Kathryn says she had so much baggage with Patricia, and we flash back to her imitating Patricia, but with a British accent. Now, now she sees that Patricia is Patricia, but she’s still Petty Patricia. She tells Cameran that she asked Ashley to lunch. Cameran says that takes balls. Kathryn wants to make sure she’s not crazy, since she’s around Kathryn’s kids.

Shep meets Peyton for lunch. She was one of his dates on RelationShep. He welcomes her to Charleston. She already has a job at a doggy daycare, and got peed on by a Great Dane twice today. In his interview, Shep says they dated last year, but it didn’t work out. He’s never not been friends with anyone he’s dated, after the fact. As long as didn’t attack him or mortally wound a family member, they’re okay. Peyton asks if he’s chilled on parties. He says he has, but he’s ready again after laying low for a few days. He asks if she wants him to set something up with a group, and she likes the idea. She already knows Austen. She says they hung out the other night, and went to dinner and a movie. He says she’s off to the races. I his interview, Shep says he gets them on base and Shep knocks them in. We flash back to Chelsea having dated Shep first. He tells Peyton that Austen is a good person from a good family. Shep is really a nice guy; he’s just not marriage material. I’d totally be friends with him, but I’d never date him.

Kathryn cracks her knuckles waiting for Ashley at the restaurant. It seems like everyone eats and drinks outside in Charleston. I’m not keen on eating outside, especially in the heat. Ashley asks if she wants a cocktail, and Kathryn says she doesn’t drink. In her interview, Kathryn says, are you kidding? She tells Ashley that she’s never met any of Thomas’s girlfriends, and thought they should get to know each other. She doesn’t know what impression Thomas has made about her, but she just wants to work together. The first step would have been for him to tell her that he had a serious girlfriend, and she has a lot of questions. Ashley says her parents are divorced, and she knows what it’s like. Everyone was shocked when she moved there, and her parents were concerned, thinking she wasn’t making the best decision. She tells Kathryn that she met the kids after a week. In her interview, Kathryn says, per their agreement, she and Thomas aren’t allowed to introduce the children to romantic prospects. If she slips up once, she can’t see the kids, but he can do what he wants and still gets full custody. She asks if that says anything about men with money in Charleston. It took her years and crazy fights to realize that got her nowhere. She tells Ashley all she cares about is consistency.

Cameran meets Danni and Leva. Leva is one of her best friends, and it’s been a blessing being pregnant together. They sniff Danni’s wine. Cameran can’t wait to drink again, and asks if Danni is going to “pump and dump.” Danni is surprised the alcohol is absorbed into the milk (really?), and asks if it won’t help the baby sleep. Cameran is waiting for her hormones to kick in, calling herself a cold-hearted bitch. She thinks she was looking at motherhood the wrong way, and we flash back to her talking to a therapist about not wanting children. She says giving up something doesn’t mean life ends; it’s just a different life. Danni says, it enhances it. Danni thinks Cameran and Leva should make an arranged marriage for the kids.

Chelsea visits her dad Ken. They’re going to do some fishing and drink beer. Her parents divorced when she was three, but remained close friends. Her dad moved to Atlanta, and every other weekend they met at the Hooters in Augusta. They were known by name there. Ken says he got her a present, and that makes her nervous. It’s tequila, so everything is good. She says she loves her mom, but she’s tough. Her dad was always more of a friend than a father figure. She probably tells him more than some of her girlfriends. He asks about Austen, and she says they don’t hang out as much. He taught her to try and remain friends, even if it’s hard, because life too short. Exactly, which is why I think just the opposite. I’ve rarely remained friends with an ex. I’m like Robin Stone from The Love Machine. Movin’ on. She tells Ken that everyone her age is married and has kids, divorced, or remarried. She’s worried she’ll be forty, and still not be in settle-down mode. Ken says not everyone is meant to be married or have kids. Chelsea thinks it would bother him, but he says, not as much as she thinks. He has three kids, so as long as one of them has a kid, he’s good.

Kathryn is hosting a girls’ night at a hotel; she hasn’t had one since she was nineteen. She says girlfriends are a helluva lot better than sh*tty boyfriends. Preach it, sister! Danni asks about lunch with Ashley, and Kathryn says she just wanted to get to know Ashley. Danni thinks she’s being very mature, and Kathryn says she needs to know who’s around her children. Danni calls her the new Kathryn.

Thomas and Ashley have a drink at home. Ashley shows him bachelorette favors called “mug shots,” that have epithets on them. Thomas seems less than thrilled as Ashley holds up Trophy Wife, Gold Digger, and finally, Baby Mama. She says, speaking of which, she left lunch pleasantly surprised. Coming in as the woman Kathryn is threatened by, she was friendly and kind. As the mother of children Thomas’s children, she respects Kathryn. In his interview, Thomas says they strive for cordiality. Thomas is going out for a boys’ night tonight. If this was a musical, his group would merge with Kathryn’s, and they’d dance. Ashley tells Thomas that she gets worried, because – wait for it – he’s a stud. I literally LOL. She says she can’t blame other women for throwing themselves at him. Because it can’t possibly be the money. She says it’s not that she doesn’t trust him, but she doesn’t trust them. In his interview, Thomas says that he moved Ashley there because he was tired of being in meaningless relationships, but he needs a little space. He tells her that he has feelings, and that’s what he tells them. Oh brother.

Kathryn sets out appetizers. The centerpiece is a giant hand with bananas placed on it. Chelsea asks if they’re having condom training. Kathryn says she should take that class. She says the hotel room is bigger than her apartment. The other girls arrive. Naomie says the banana placement is incredible. They talk about Elizabeth, and Naomie says it was shocking to see her walk in with JD. It didn’t make sense. We see a clip of Elizabeth telling Naomie what boils down to, mind your own business. Elizabeth tells her, it’s their relationship. In her interview, Naomie says she understands that Elizabeth is trying to hold it together, but she’ll never be okay with it. She tells the girls that a heads-up text wouldn’t have been nice. Chelsea says let her deal with it now; Naomie learned her lesson.

The guys meet at a bar. Austen wants to reintroduce Craig to the wild. Shep wonders if he has the nuts to make it happen. In his interview, Shep wants to introduce Craig to as many girls as possible. They have a shot.

The girls go out to dinner. Danni wants cheese. They talk about sex like they’re on Sex in the City, and the waiter is highly amused. Kathryn says her vibrator is waterproof. I don’t want to know

Thomas says a sure-fire way to meet women is to cut in while they’re dancing. Austen says Thomas is being unrelentingly Thomas. Craig says they’re from two different eras. What was considered gentlemanly at one time, means you’re a cretin now.  In his interview, Austen thinks Thomas might be from 1932, but his style of game is still better than Craig’s.

Naomie tells the girls that she and Craig got in fight at the shower. Even though they’ve broken up, they still find a way to fight. He sent her a rant at 2:30 am, and said he doesn’t understand why they didn’t work, and they need to talk. Naomie reveals that she’s basically been stalking Craig, following all his social media, and sneaking a tracking app onto his phone. Really? In her interview, Naomie says she has PG Syndrome – Psycho Ex-Girlfriend Syndrome. Who does this? Who admits they do this? She looks him up on her phone, and tells the girls where guys’ night is. Danni wonders if the guys are discussing relationships. Doesn’t one of those girls think what Naomie is doing is weird???

Craig says it’s the most hellish night of his life. In his interview, he says until he’s sure he and Naomie are done, he’s not ready to sleep with anyone else. He doesn’t want to throw away the three years they had. Shep takes Craig up to some women.

The girls have a shot. Kathryn drinks water. Chelsea asks the waiter if there are any good-looking men at the bar. He suggests they come back on the weekend.

While walking to the next bar, Shep asks Austen about having a date with Peyton. He says he had a chance with Peyton, and blew it. At the next place, Shep immediately introduces Craig to some women, but he doesn’t linger.

Craig visits Chelsea at the salon. She tells him that he needs his neck shaved like no one’s business. They talk about having laughs at their respective nights out. Chelsea asks if he was out seeking women or getting past the break-up. He says he’s told Naomie that he needs a definitive answer. Chelsea asks if they can’t have an adult conversation. Craig says Naomie doesn’t like to talk, which I interpret as, she doesn’t like it when she’s wrong. His phone dings. In a totally psychotic psychic move, it’s Naomie, texting that she wants to talk. He says he has new hair. It’s time for them to meet.

Naomie is tired of being mad about anything to do with Craig. Why is she stalking him then? They meet at an outside bar. Craig says they’re so nice when they’re texting, but when they see each other, they fight. He asks if she wants to get back together. He says he would love that, but she says she doesn’t know. She’s not sure the changes they both want to happen, can happen. He says he’s getting a life coach; he wants to be more productive. She says if he’s really going to change his lifestyle and get help, that’s amazing, but she won’t believe it until she sees it. She’s not basing anything on his words; she did that. He says, she’s not even going to try? She says she spent three years clinging to something that wasn’t there. Craig doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He said he was going to finish law school, and he did. He passed the bar in the top 93% percent in the country. Did I hear that right? Does that mean he’s not totally crappy? He tells her that he’s bought property. What is it he’s said he’d do, and didn’t? Naomie tells him, get up in the morning and be a productive member of society. He accuses her of attacking him, and she says she can’t live like he does. He tells her that she focuses on the negative, and accuses her of being a quitter. She says he’s all talk and no action, and he says that’s awful. She says she’s so mad, she wants to cry. Craig says he tried to give her chance. She says he’ll never be accountable for anything. He says he can’t be with her unless she works on her negativity problems.

Naomie says she feels better now about them not being together. She loves him, but he doesn’t get it. Craig thinks she’s angry because she can’t figure a reason they shouldn’t be together. They’re on different planets. Naomie gets up, and walks off. Craig says he guesses that means they’re not getting back together. Very perceptive, our Craig.

Next time, Austen talks to his parents about making his own beer, Thomas invites Kathryn trick-or-treating, and Naomie calls Peyton a thirsty bitch at a Halloween party. I’d thought Naomie was spoiled, but now I’m starting to think she’s batsh*t crazy.

🍹 I’m getting to know the cast on Southern Charm New Orleans, and really enjoying Reagan and Jeff. They have three little dogs (one with one eye like my Casey), along with a Doberman, which is enough, but I’m impressed with their team effort marriage. Because Reagan supported him during his football career (sorry, I didn’t catch the team – football does not stick to my memory), he’s supporting her now, one of her ventures being a jewelry business. I actually love the jewelry, the designs based on her global travels, but I’m sure it’s out of my league pricewise.

🎡 On Watch What Happens Live, they played a new game that was loads of fun. Someone in the booth would give Andy a series of words – for example, Mary Poppins, or shake, rattle, and roll – and he had to use it in a sentence. We also saw the words, but the guests did not. It was amusing to see what he came up with, trying to work it into the conversation. Sometimes he was right on, but he missed a couple of golden opportunities. I hope they do it again. Of course, I said that about their New Year’s Eve show, and they never had another one.

💍 90 Day Fiancé: Happily, Ever After? will be returning on May 20th at 8 pm. I can’t wait! I never did finish writing about last season, but the main takeaway was that Molly was already married to Luis, and never told the producers. This probably would have been fine, except Luis turned out to be an incredibly weird d-bag. He also disappeared. Maybe he met up with Mohammed. Keep watching the headlines.

🚶 Just a Few More Steps…


April 25, 2018 – Luck or Fate, Another Hellish Dinner Party, Some Star, Some Serhant & the Weekend (Almost)


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Drew stops by Alexis’s place. She says they must have gotten their wires crossed, since she dropped off the kids at Monica’s. He asks how Sam is doing and where she is.

In Switzerland, back from their quest, Sam tells Jason, that was insane. The driving wasn’t bad, and she had a great time. He says, him too.

At the hospital, Kim asks Finn to hold the elevator. He doesn’t, but says he did her a favor; Lucy was in it. She says Lucy already hit her up about the Nurses’ Ball, but she told Lucy that she had no talent. Finn says that was the wrong thing to do. Lucy will have her on a trapeze, playing the accordion. He says he’s never attended it, and she tells him to give it a try this year. She already has a date.

At Kelly’s, Lucas is on the phone discussing the nursery with Brad. Julian hears him, and says, it’s really happening. Lucas is going to be a father.

Curtis gets down on one knee, and asks Jordan to marry him. She tells him to stand up. He asks her to hear him out. He wants them both to say the words, and commit to each other. Jordan says, till death do us part? She can’t marry him if the only reason he’s asking is that she might die.

Alexis tells Drew that Sam is in Switzerland with Jason. Spinelli was arrested, and they went to help get him out. The three of them decided to stay and work on the investigation. He thanks her, and leaves. Alexis hopes Sam knows what she’s doing.

Sam is liking Switzerland, and remarks that she got Jason to wear a helmet. He says they just robbed a bank, but she corrects him, saying they infiltrated it. The banker should have never have let her behind his desk. Jason says he didn’t have a chance. She wonders if the wire transfer Henrik sent ever came through. Jason finds a letter from Spinelli, saying he was able to secure passage to Seattle, and confirmed two seats to Port Charles (direct from Switzerland?) on Friday. He says they should enjoy the remainder of their stay, and includes a list of restaurants. Sam says Spinelli stranded them there on purpose.

Julian tells Lucas that he didn’t mean to snoop. Lucas says it’s official; they’ve been chosen to adopt. Julian is happy for them, and knows they’ll make wonderful parents. Lucas says they’re thrilled and grateful. it wouldn’t have happened without him.

Curtis doesn’t accept Jordan’s non-acceptance, but he’s on his feet so they can talk about it. She knows he means well. He says he means to marry his woman. Not because she’s sick, but because they love each other. He can’t deny the timing is suspicious, but her health scare is a wake-up call. It’s a reminder that life can change in an instant. The only guarantee is here and now. He hopes they’ll have fifty years, but will take five years or five hours.

Sam calls the airline, and tells Jason the soonest available flight isn’t until Friday. Whether Spinelli knew that or not, she needs to have a talk with him. There are too many coincidences, like them being in the same hotel. Jason admits Spinelli knew where she was staying. She asks how, and he says Spinelli was monitoring her in case of an emergency. She says that’s really good to know, and they’ll need to have another conversation about privacy. She asks how Jason ended up there, and Jason tells her that Anna had a research trip scheduled, and booked the hotel. Sam says Spinelli set them up. Jason says Spinelli told him there were 400+ rooms, and the odds of them running into each other were slim to none. If they did, it would be fate. Sam says he matched everything in the direction he wanted, but Jason says he won’t do it again. He respects her, and respects if she wants to be on her own.

Lucas is grateful to Julian. It made all the difference when he agreed not be part of the baby’s life. Julian doesn’t want his past mistakes to jeopardize his son’s happiness. Lucas says happy doesn’t begin to cover it. Julian says a child will bring boundless joy; it changed his life. Lucas says, just not soon enough.

Josslyn tells Oscar the coach is thinking about moving her up in the rotation. That’s almost as cool as his editorial in the school paper. He says it wasn’t that great, and she wonders if he can’t accept praise or is he afraid to show it to someone whose opinion he values?

Kim tells Drew about Oscar’s piece in the school paper. She says he’s probably embarrassed to show it to Drew. Drew doesn’t want to throw her under bus by asking Oscar about it, but if Oscar doesn’t show him tonight, he will. He has an idea, and Kim suggests she tell him over lunch.

Jordan reminds Curtis that she was married to his brother. She broke her vows, and broke his heart, and it ultimately led to his death. Curtis says some of that is on him; he should have stayed out of their business. Jordan says she created the situation. When it was over and done with, and had fallen apart, she felt guilty and angry, with herself mostly, but took out on him. Curtis says it’s all in the past. They know each other inside and out. They’re not perfect, but they’re smart, and learn from their mistakes. They know enough not to repeat them. She says that’s exactly why she’s hesitant to marry him.

Finn comes by Alexis’s place. She tells him about Drew’s visit, saying even if it’s not true, he perceives that Sam is with Jason. Finn says no one wants to be the odd man out in a triangle. She tells him it’s easier to worry about her children than herself. He asks if she’s worried, but she says she’s more worried about them together.

Lucas tells Julian that he’s been reading parenting books. No one is perfect. No matter what, despite the best intent, everyone screws up, but you put your kid first. Julian did that for him with the adoption; he came through as a father. Julian wishes he could change the past, but he just trying to do better to prove himself. In the meantime, is there anything else Lucas needs to tell him?

Jordan asks Curtis, what if it doesn’t work out? She’s thought about the pain she’s caused TJ. He’s been disappointed too many times, and don’t get her started about Aunt Stella. Curtis says it’s not about Aunt Stella or TJ. TJ is a grown-ass man, and it doesn’t affect Stella either way. They’re the only ones who it matters to, is them. Can she see herself forever with him? She wants to say yes, and take a leap of faith. He tells her to just go for it, and her phone rings. It’s the doctor.

Kim says she promised Drew chili, but her feelings won’t be hurt if likes Kelly’s chili better. They go inside, and see Julian. Julian invites them to join him, but Kim says she invited Drew. He asks if they have the latest on Sam, and if she’s back yet.

Jason tells Sam that they couldn’t have gained access without her. At least they know the letters are gone, and don’t have to waste time on that. They’re also closer to Henrik. Sam says he probably bounced the money through a bunch of corporations. Jason says maybe they should go back to the book. Sam says he told her that he thought Anna knew more than she was saying. Maybe they should retrace her steps. Go to the schools, and pick up the files she was looking at. Jason asks if she’s sure she wants to stay with the investigation. He loves working with her – she’s one of the best – but she said she wanted distance. Sam says she did say that, and this isn’t it.

Jason tells Sam when he got out of the clinic, he had no idea how much time had gone by; he thought it was six months. He was worried about her and Danny, but not afraid anything happened to them. He stowed away on a freighter, and saw a newspaper from another stowaway. When he saw the date, he realized five years had passed. Then he was afraid all the way back, praying they were still alive and okay. He could take whatever happened as long as they were okay. She is, so whatever happens next, whatever she decides, he’s good.

Drew tells Julian, as far as he knows, Sam is in Switzerland. Drew starts to leave, and Kim asks where he’s going; they’re supposed to have lunch. Julian asks if he and Kim are still on for the Nurses’ Ball, and she tells him nothing’s changed. She explains to Drew that she’s seeing Julian casually. She knows his past is far from spotless. Drew says Julian isn’t his favorite guy, but Kim says, up until now, he’s been pretty great. Drew says it’s his least favorite subject, and suggests they talk about their son.

Josslyn tells Oscar that his dad will be proud and call his mom, then parental bonding sparks fly. He says, now she’s reaching. She says he’ll never know unless he makes the first move.

Jordan thanks the doctor, and tells Curtis she’s fine. The spot hasn’t changed, and they think it’s from an infection she had as a kid. Her cough is probably from the earthquake dust. They’re going to do a follow-up, but there’s no cause for concern. He says thank God he’s not losing her, and she says he’s off the hook. He can take back his proposal.

Alexis likes that Finn is smart, funny, and cynical. She likes him, and thinks he’s a softy underneath. He tells her that he’s offended. She doesn’t think they should be each other’s rebound relationship, but he says he didn’t have a relationship with Anna. Alexis points out that she didn’t have to tell him who she was referring to. He admits to having feelings for Anna, and Alexis gets it; he’s going through it or close enough. They talk a good game, but deep down, they’re both… Finn says, weird? Alexis says that wasn’t the word she was going for. They’re vulnerable, damaged, and emotionally raw. Finn is like, great, and she says maybe they’re overthinking it. They should just take the journey. Finn thinks he’s good with that. He’s missed her. Not just at meetings, but in general. It’s been a long time since they were close. She asks if he’s talking about sex. He says it was unplanned and spontaneous. She asks if he wants to do it again.

Josslyn suggests Oscar send Drew the article. He’ll probably be proud and come by the house, then his mom can make dinner. Oscar gets a text from Drew, asking if he wants to go hiking.

Drew tells Kim, hopefully, Oscar will accept the invitation. Kim says he will, and Drew will be proud of what he wrote. It’s about the outsiders and the kids they stood up for. Drew remembers Oscar punching out the kid with the paintball, and Kim says at one point, she would have blamed Drew’s influence, but Oscar isn’t the pacifist angel she thought. She’s not in favor of settling things with violence, but sometimes it’s appropriate. She tells Drew not to tell Oscar she said that. Drew’s phone dings. Oscar accepted his invitation. Kim knows he’ll be proud of their boy.

Sam tells Jason she never heard the whole story about after he broke out of the clinic. He says he had no money, no ID, and was barefoot. He had a safe deposit box in Zurich, and was making his way to the train station, when a Russian priest found him – Father Stanislav. The priest gave him clothes and food, and arranged for him to be smuggled out. He met a few good people, even the other stowaway, Huxley. Sam asks if he means Huxley Lynch, a fussy, weird British guy. Jason says, that’s him. He won Huxley’s watch in a card game, and Sam says, that was him?

Finn and Alexis get busy. Julian comes onto the porch.

Jordan tells Curtis that she wants to work on herself. She wants to be a better wife to him than she was to his brother. They need to nurture the relationship they have; no pressure. If it comes up again when they’re both ready, then they’ll talk about it. They have all the time in the world. Curtis says, no rush. They’ll work something out. She tells him it was a beautiful gesture, and meant the world to her.

Oscar can’t believe Josslyn talked him into sending the article. Drew told him that after the hike and dinner with his mom, to be warned that he has a few miles worth of compliments on Oscar’s editorial. Not because he’s Drew’s son, but a great writer. Josslyn says, see? It wasn’t that hard. He tells her that she made it easy.

Drew is shocked that Oscar is such a good writer, an Kim says he’s always been a special kid. Drew says he’s perceptive and insightful; he must have gotten it from her. She says he has a lot of Drew’s qualities, and they made an extraordinary kid.

Sam asks Jason about the watch. He says Huxley was on the run from a Russian gang he owed money to. He talked so much, Jason stopped paying attention. He seemed more concerned with losing his home than about the Russians. He was keyed up, and Jason didn’t want to talk, so they played cards. Huxley was trying to cheat him, but Jason cleaned him out. Huxley told him it was his lucky watch; whenever he wagered it, he won. He lost again, but Jason gave him the money back. Huxley insisted he keep the watch. The luck was broken for him, but maybe it would be lucky for Jason. When they got to New York, Jason went to a bar to get his bearings. The guys chasing him picked up his trail, but the bartender covered for him, so he gave her the watch. Sam tells him about her and Drew going to NYC to celebrate buying Aurora, and seeing the watch. She asks when he was there, and realizes it was the same day. The airline calls. There’s been a cancellation, and they have two hours before the next flight. Jason tells Sam to meet him in the lobby. Sam says they were apart for five years, and wound up in the same bar holding the same watch within hours of each other. Huxley was right. The watch is lucky. Or Spinelli was right, and it was fate. They soap stare at each other.

Tomorrow, Nina tells Curtis it’s the perfect opportunity, Maxie wants to talk about Peter, and Alexis asks Anna about her search for Henrik.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Still at LuAnn’s for lunch, Ramona asks if they can’t be more considerate of each other’s feelings. Sonja says she’s very sensitive. Dorinda says she buried a husband, and Sonja’s husband left her because she was screwing around in the south of France. One’s a tragedy and the other’s a choice. Dorinda no longer wants to go to dinner with her. Sonja says she doesn’t understand. In her interview, Sonja claims she didn’t cheat and had a beautiful marriage. Ramona says divorce is like a death, but she crossed the line. LuAnn tells Dorinda that Sonja isn’t in her right mind. She’s been on meds, so have compassion. In her interview, LuAnn says Sonja and Dorinda are like dogs in heat; she needs a garden hose to separate them. Ramona tries to keep the peace, and asks Sonja to apologize. Sonja calls Dorinda an insensitive bitch, and doesn’t feel she has to explain the pain of her loss. Dorinda tells LuAnn sorry to ruin the meal, and LuAnn says she’s sorry Dorinda is upset. In her interview, Dorinda is insulted by the audacity of Sonja’s narcissism. Ramona is freaked, and wonders what she’s going to do about the dinner she’s planned.

Bethenny, Carole, and Tinsley walk over to Bethenny’s investment property. It’s an eight-bedroom rental home that she got for a steal at $2 million. We flash back to Ramona saying she’d never buy anything on the highway. In her interview, Bethenny says she looks for properties that have potential. She’s spending $350K to add $1.5 million to the value. She shows the girls around, and tells them she plans on renovating the attic into a livable space. Dorinda texts Carole, and asks her to call. On the phone, Dorinda says Sonja isn’t a nice person and went too far. She tells Carole about Sonja comparing her divorce to Dorinda’s husband’s death. In her interview, Bethenny says she understands both sides. The girls tell Dorinda to try and relax.

Ramona and Dorinda discuss real estate. Ramona says it always goes up in value, and she’d rather invest in that than stocks. She explains that she can rent the house out for two weeks tax free, which is news to Dorinda. In her interview, Ramona says she came from nothing and isn’t a dummy. Well, maybe not about real estate.

Ramona gets ready for her dinner. She loves entertaining, and I have no idea what crazy crap she’s wearing. It looks like some weird thing from the 70s that she bedazzled. Dorinda kibitzes the chef in the kitchen. She’s interested in meeting Kirk, who she thinks is having an effect on Ramona. Ramona tells a couple of the guests that the group can get heated. John wanders in, followed by Tinsley and Carole. In her interview, Tinsley thought it was a party for Carole, but it seems like all of Ramona’s friends. Bethenny arrives with Dennis. Carole is wearing a tattoo bodysuit, which provokes many comments. In her interview, she says it’s a major fashion moment and everyone is jealous, but Bethenny wonders if she joined a motorcycle gang. Dennis talks about Bethenny hiding his sweaters when she doesn’t like them. Bethenny says he likes to wear loud clothing, but Dorinda thinks it shows confidence.

LuAnn and Sonja walk in. Sonja has no plan of action; she’s just going to be herself. In her interview, Bethenny wonders what the eff they’re all wearing, including herself. It’s like a bad bar. Sonja says she had a nice cry today. Dorinda wasn’t sympathetic with her, because she didn’t bury a husband. Ramona asks wtf? and Sonja wonders why Ramona didn’t stick up for her. Tinsley is hearing yelling, and doesn’t want to get involved. In her interview, Dorinda admits to wanting to stoke the fire between Tinsley and Sonja. Ramona tells Sonja she’s learned if she upsets someone, just apologize and move on.

Carole is confused. She thought it was a marathon party, but it’s a family-style buffet with no marathon memorabilia to be seen. Ramona toasts to Carole, saying Carole had never exercised in her life, and while she works out all the time, she could never accomplish what Carole has done. In her interview, Carole says Ramona had the party to have an excuse to flirt with Kirk. Dorinda asks when Dennis lost his hair, and he talks about being on a team in college who shaved their heads, and it never grew back. She mentions that Richard was bald. We see clips of how much Dorinda hearkens back. It’s agreed Dennis has a good-shaped head. LuAnn asks when Dennis and Bethenny met, and Bethenny thought she knew. We flash back to the last reunion, and LuAnn saying he was married when Bethenny started seeing him. Bethenny points this out. In her interview, Dorinda tries to explain the look on LuAnn’s face and can’t, because she’s laughing so hard. Bethenny suggests an apology, and LuAnn says she’s sorry. In her interview, LuAnn doesn’t get it, since she was just making pleasantries.

Sonja says she’s been relegated to the end of the table; why not just put a muzzle on her? Actually, that sounds like a brilliant idea. Sonja claims that Rocco is talking serious, and Dorinda says there is no Rocco; she’s not dating him. In her interview, Sonja says everyone is throwing accusations about her personal life, when they know nothing. Dorinda says liar, liar, ho on fire. Sonja says she doesn’t lie. Tinsley says she lies all the time, and stop talking about her. Dorinda asks if Sonja thinks Tinsley paid for the gift card she gave her for her birthday, and Sonja says no. Tinsley whips out her checkbook, and says she’ll write her a check, adding that Sonja should close her mouth and her effing legs. Alrighty then. In her interview, Dorinda says she told Tinsley to speak up, not lose her sh*t. Bethenny says Tinsley donated a lot to her charity, and Sonja asks where the money came from, adding, who cares? and answering her own question. Bethenny finds it hard to defend her. Tinsley gives Sonja a check, but Sonja doesn’t want her money; she wants Tinsley’s love. The check is flipped back and forth, until Bethenny finally sets it on fire. LuAnn says it’s a laughable moment, and Bethenny just gave it a punchline. Ramona tells Sonja again to just say sorry, and Sonja calls her a fake apologizer. In her interview, Sonja says Ramona puts up a wall when she doesn’t want to get involved. Sonja wanders off, and a cake with candles appears for Carole, since Ramona has the marathon mixed up with a birthday. Everyone applauds. In her interview, Carole says the cake is a nice try, but as far as a themed party goes, she gives it an F.

Dorinda is afraid to talk to Sonja in private, thinking she’ll go off on a tangent. They go into the kitchen, and Sonja tells her that they’ve both suffered great losses, and both have no fathers for their daughters. Dorinda suggests that she move on, since she recognizes that Sonja is never going to understand why she’s wrong here. Sonja says she’s not holding on, but won’t forget. She doesn’t want to let go of the memories. She says she’s having an off day; she’s coming off anti-depressants and not taking hormones anymore. In her interview, Dorinda doesn’t know if Sonja is talking to her or telling herself. She could put a mannequin in her place, and Sonja would never notice. She tells Sonja they’ll talk tomorrow. Bethenny says they’ve destroyed another night in the Hamptons – the gift that keeps on giving.

Ramona says when they met, she thought John was rough around the edges. We see a clip of her reaming him out. She says he’s grown on her. He has a warm heart, and adores Dorinda. In her interview, Dorinda says their relationship is good, but she feels like she’s grown so much and wants to keep growing. She’s feeling tense with him. Ramona asks how her discussion with Sonja went. She thinks something is going on with Sonja, but doesn’t want to deal with it anymore’ it’s not worth it to be involved. She reads Dorinda a text from Sonja, calling her a bitch because Ramona didn’t stand up for her. She rambles about how she never cheated, loved her husband, but couldn’t stay because it was difficult. Dorinda says she has present-day grief from twelve years ago. She wants to talk about today. Ramona continues, with Sonja telling her that she needs help, and saying she wasted her time bonding with an unfeeling POS. In her interview, Ramona says Sonja isn’t a two-year-old, and she doesn’t think she needs to defend her. She tells Dorinda that she’s not saying she’s done, but she can’t relate anymore. Sonja doesn’t listen, and likes to hide behind her texts. Yoda Dorinda says, say it, forget it; write it, regret it.

Carole and Tinsley meet before brunch. Tinsley tells Carole about locking herself out, and Carole jokes that she’s a bad houseguest. Tinsley says she’s had a lot going on, and Sonja needs to be quiet about her; she can’t deal. In her interview, Tinsley doesn’t know how to resolve it. To avoid conflict, she and Carole make place cards. The others trickle in, and Dorinda says the place cards are super fancy. Sonja wants to go home. but can’t say no to an expensive brunch. Not knowing what went on, Carole and Tinsley put Ramona across from Sonja. In her interview, Sonja says she’s always defended Ramona, but she couldn’t return the favor. It’s the kiss of death. She’s done.

Ramona tells Carole about Sonja’s text. Ramona wants to change seats, and Carole says there will be no one at the end of the table. In her interview, Carole says she didn’t know about the tension between Ramona and Sonja, but at this point, there’s tension between everyone and Sonja. Ramona moves down by Dorinda, and tells her to play along. She pretends to be asking Dorinda’s opinion about decorating. In her interview, Sonja says the text worked. Ramona knows she’s a loser, so she’s doing what she thinks will look good with the group. Okay… Bethenny has no idea what’s going on, but sees Ramona jumped the Sonja ship. LuAnn thinks Ramona is being rude. Sonja says LuAnn knows everything about her miscommunication with Dorinda. She harps again on how Ramona could have defended her. Ramona asks when she’s going to stop talking and start listening. She doesn’t know who Sonja is anymore. Sonja says she’s the fun one at parties, then has to go back to the trenches. I guess that’s what she calls a beautiful townhouse in Manhattan. She says she lost everything, and Bethenny says it was a long time ago; they have to get current. Sonja accuses everyone of being judgmental, and asks who brought up Rocco? Ramona says Sonja did, and wonders if she just listens to herself. Sounds to me like Sonja doesn’t listen to herself either. Tinsley says Sonja is like a broken record, and Dorinda says, here we go again.

LuAnn says, check, please.

Next time, Carole says Adam is not her boyfriend, Missy (Tom’s ex) shows up, and Ramona and Sonja create another scene.

🌟 On Star, Cassie told someone on the phone that she wanted her $200K, but didn’t want her mom to know. Maurice brought in old friend Natalie, who got Take 3 a college gig, telling them they needed to establish a fan base. Andy sabotaged the gig by cutting the sound, and got himself cut from the tour when he was found out. Take 3 saved the show by singing acapella with Noah. Alex had enough with Noah’s groupies, but he insisted she was the only one for him. Simone also fought with Angel, thinking he was in on Andy’s interference, but they made up by the end of the episode. Cotton’s ex said she didn’t know how complicated a baby daddy would be, and Cotton told her to try being one with double-Ds. Natalie came on to Maurice, who said he was seeing someone, and she told him she could get him whatever he wanted. The real star of the show, Queen Latifah’s hair, went from a shaggy bob with beachy waves and highlights (loved this look on her!) to a swirly short ‘do that was half magenta. Next time, Miss Lawrence takes the mic, and Noah is getting down with the wrong person when Alex walks in.

💰 This week, on Sell It Like Serhant, Ryan helped Staten Island kitchen cabinet salesman, Frank. Poor Frank, whose wife had passed away from leukemia, was a week away from the unemployment line, since he couldn’t sell ice in hell. While putting Frank through his paces at the gym, Ryan also taught him how to sell a kitchen with an intro/compliment/hook strategy. At the end, Frank went from selling literally zero to $37K a month. Next time, hot tubs.

🏇 The Homestretch…



April 24, 2018 – Ava on the Warpath, Reunion Hell Begins for Beverly Hills & a Little Ramble


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny says Ava has Avery, Mike is in jail, and he did nothing. Dante says he did what Diane advised, and once Mike is out on bail, he can take it from there. Sonny asks if can take his dad home, but Dante says they have a problem.

Ava talks to Scotty about Avery, while he plays with a Fisher-Price learning toy. He says the toy has him flummoxed; Avery must take after her mom – she’s sharp. Ava hopes she can influence Avery more now that they’re under the same roof. Scotty says she’s holding all the aces. He thinks she could get every other weekend, or even joint custody. She says she has no interest working out a deal. She’s going to fight for full custody, and God help anyone who gets in her way. Griff overhears.

At the hospital, Nelle tells Michael that he doesn’t have to go to every check-up; he has more important things to do. He says nothing is more important than the baby. They won’t have many more appointments before the baby is in their lives. She’s glad the crisis was averted, so he can get some rest.

David tells Kiki that she’s late. She says she’s on time; rounds start at 9 am. He says early is on time; on time is late. It’s cliché, but she’d do well to remember it. He says they’re going on rounds, not out to a club, and tells her to pull her hair back.

On the phone at the station, Jordan says the doctor can contact her on her cell. Curtis comes in with coffee. He noticed she didn’t have breakfast, and thought he’d come through with sustenance. She gets a bonus, since he’s eating with her. She says she’s behind in paperwork, and he asks if her sudden reluctance has to do with the phone call he walked in on.

Sonny says Mike is sick, and didn’t know what he was doing, but Dante says Judge Lasser isn’t a huge fan of using dementia as an excuse. Sonny says he has the medical records. Dante says a few years back, the system was burned by organized crime using it, and they’re gun-shy about it being a mitigating factor. Sonny says it’s because Mike is connected to him. Dante says he’s doing what he can, and Diane is arguing the case.

Ava thinks it’s a bit of a tall order to be left caring for a senile old man. Scotty says Ava has all the leverage, but that doesn’t mean Sonny will just hand Avery over. She says she’s offering a trade; she gets custody, and Sonny gets to take care of his father. Scotty says she’ll have to prove he was a detriment Avery and society, and needs to be put in a facility. Ava says, if that’s way it is, so be it.

Michael tells Nelle about recording Mike. He wanted to record him for Avery and the baby before he slips away, but it looks like he’s already gone. It’s not the first time he’s mistaken Avery for Courtney; he’s already receding into the past. How long before they’re all strangers? Nelle takes his hand, saying she’s sorry about what he’s been through. She wishes she could have done more, but didn’t want to provoke his mom. Michael says she’ll have to give his mom time before she takes Nelle’s actions at face value. Nelle thinks about spraying the cologne at Morgan’s grave, and she’s wearing the cutest little earrings.

Curtis doesn’t mean to pry, but tells Jordan there’s a good reason he makes a lot of money as a PI. He picks up on stuff, and she couldn’t get off the phone fast enough. He doesn’t want to get up in her business, but he’s here for her. She tells him sometimes a good PI makes a connection where there isn’t one. She takes out the food. Her phone rings, but she ignores it.

Sonny tells Carly that he doesn’t understand why; it was an open and shut case. Now Mike is in jail like a criminal. Carly tells him that she made an appointment with Doc. She wants him to have peace of mind, but she thought Mike would be home by now. He tells her to go anyway. Carly’s highlights used to make her look like she was going grey; now they look like she can’t decide on her hair color.

Ava tells Scotty she’s willing to do what takes for her to win; is he with her? He says as long as the check clears. Griff comes out, and asks if he and Ava can talk. Scotty leaves, and Ava tells Griff how wonderful it was bringing Avery to preschool. He asks if she’s sure it’s the  wisest tactic to go for full custody. She tells him that she sympathizes, but Mike’s illness isn’t an excuse for kidnapping. Griff says he did nothing intentional, but she doesn’t care. Avery was missing overnight. He says now she’s home and unharmed; penalizing Mike just makes it worse for Sonny’s family. She says she’s done worse things, and so has Sonny and his family. She doesn’t give a damn.

David examines a kid who was hit in the head playing sports, and asks for an MRI. He tells Deanna not to leave him unattended until he’s in the clear. He tells Kiki there’s no sign of concussion, yet he sent the kid to imaging. What is he concerned about? She thought she was just shadowing, but he says there’s no point in just following him around. He says she’s in an overcrowded ER; what’s her call? She stumbles for her words, and he says, time’s up. The patient lost consciousness and isn’t coming back. She just killed the patient.

Curtis says he can step outside, but Jordan says it’s fine. She answers the phone, and asks for her records and x-rays to be transferred to GH. He says she’s been in Port Charles four years, and she’s completely avoided a physical. She tells him she didn’t have time. He says she’d never voluntarily go to a doctor, but she says she has to led by example. He doesn’t buy it, and she says it’s not a big deal. She decided to get her cough checked out. The doctor ordered an x-ray, and they found something; a spot on her lung.

Carly sits in Doc’s office, but says it’s a mistake; she’s sorry to waste his time, but she’ll pay for the appointment. He says second thoughts are normal, but since she paid for the hour, what’s on her mind? She tells him she only made the appointment to put Sonny’s mind at ease. He has a lot going on with Mike and Avery. He asks how that’s going, and she tells him they were found and they’re safe. Why does Sonny want her to see him? She says some things have been happening, and he tells her to start at the beginning.

Nelle tells Michael that she knows Carly is going through a hard time, and the last thing she wants is to make it worse. They’ll  all have to be on the same side when the baby is born. He says the hard times are just beginning. There’s a battle brewing, and the custody fight for Avery is going to escalate and get ugly. Nelle has to get to work, and Michael asks her if she has any sway with her boss. Maybe she could float the idea of shared custody. He knows Ava has been a criminal and a killer, but also knows she wants the best for her child. If it prevents a prolonged fight, Sonny might take the best of two bad options. Nelle says they hate each other, but he says they love Avery. They have a child in common, and in her interest, it might be surprising what they can look past. Nelle can’t promise anything, but will see what she can do.

Curtis asks Jordan what that means. She says it could be something she was born with. As long as it hasn’t grown, it’s probably benign. She’s having the records sent, so they can compare the past with the present. She’d broken some ribs, and they took an x-ray. The doctor wants to follow-up to see if there’s a new spot or if it’s grown. She’s not entertaining any possibilities until she has to. Curtis gets on his phone, and she tells him to stop. He says he needs to find out somewhere, and she tells him that he can’t believe everything he reads on the internet. He looks at his phone, and says, lung cancer. Yeah, years ago, I had to take the medical dictionary away from my husband, but yay, now we have the internet.

Griff asks Ava to try to have compassion. She tells him that Sonny and Carly get a sick pleasure in keeping Avery from her. He says, in their minds, she’s responsible for Morgan’s death. He has sympathy for both sides, and thinks Sonny might be willing to compromise. Ava says she’s been tortured by fire, the town hating her, and Kiki being hot and cold. She’s done with compromises. It’s the first time in a long time that she’s had the advantage, and she’s using it to have Avery stay permanently.

Carly tells Doc the things happening in the house were just like the scarf. She’s the only one who saw anything, except the photo. Sonny saw it, but thought it was damaged from the earthquake. She knows someone put it there. He says he’s not in a position to authenticate her claims, but he’s there to deal with the experiences she’s having, regardless of the cause. They can explore it in further sessions. Carly asks if he can’t just sign off on her sanity today. He says one thing she can do is try a medication; it’s anti-anxiety only. Sessions don’t exist in a vacuum, and what she’s described sounds like she’s been extra stressed over several months. The standard procedure is to review the patient’s previous records, and he sees she had a nervous breakdown. Carly insists she’s not having one. Doc doesn’t think so, but there’s no reason not to do what they can to keep it from happening again.

Outside Ava’s door, Nelle hears Griff. He tells Ava he understands, but she’s repeatedly said she wants to be a better person. Is she willing to risk Mike? She says she’s not risking her daughter’s safety. He doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a parent. He says he has empathy; does she? She says Avery isn’t safe with Mike. She’s not safe at Sonny’s. She tells him it’s easier to be a saint when you’re living in paradise. She lives in the real world. He asks her not to do anything until they talk more. He opens the door, and Nelle is there. He leaves, and Nelle comes in. Ava asks how much she heard, and she says, enough; it was intense. Ava says he doesn’t understand that Sonny will be as ruthless as she is. Carly too, as Nelle reminded her.

David says Kiki’s Incompetence would have killed the kid. She says he’s not playing fair, and he asks if she thinks it’s a game. He says in an ER there will be shouting and lots of distractions. She’ll have to think on her feet. She says she’ll be trained by then. She’s just starting out, and he’s trying to intimidate her. He says he’s sorry to trigger her. He thought she had potential, and guesses he was wrong.

At the station, Scotty looks for Diane. Sonny comes out, and Scotty says, fancy seeing him there. Where are the cuffs? He tells Sonny about how much Ava is enjoying having Avery, and Sonny says tell her not to get used to it. Scotty doesn’t know about that, since there might be a custody change. He brings up Karen, and says he can’t wait to spend quality time with Avery, and tell her about her father. (Karen was Scotty’s daughter, who Sonny coerced into underage stripping.) Sonny grabs him, and Dante jumps in, separating them.

Scotty says Sonny always turns to violence. He guesses Diane is still representing him. Have her give him a call. Dante tells Scotty to take a walk. Dante asks Sonny what he thinks he’s doing. Does he want everyone to see Avery’s father punching Scotty out? Sonny says Scotty was goading him, but Dante is right. Dante says Mike didn’t know where he was half the time, but he’s calmer now. He tells Sonny to talk to him.

Sonny goes into the interrogation room. Mike says he saw that guy giving him a hard time, but Sonny tells him not to worry about it. Mike says he has to; it’s because of him. It all came back this morning. Avery must be confused because of what he did. He screwed up Sonny’s life again, and he’s sorry.

Jordan says every helpful hint on the internet sends people into a panic. The possibility is there, but she’s not dwelling on it unless she has to. One of her concerns is that her nana died from it. Curtis says she smoked like a chimney, but Jordan says not smoking doesn’t make her immune; anyone can get it, particularly people with a family history. He’s sorry, and she says, don’t do that. It could be nothing, but if it is something, she’ll need him not to lose it. She’s trying not to panic.

Kiki tells David that she can handle pressure. David tells her to hit the books, and try again tomorrow; don’t just take up space. David asks Griff to give the injured kid a once over, and Kiki finally comes up with what David had been looking for – epidural hematoma. David leaves to attend to a patient. Griff asks if something happened, and Kiki says she has to go.

Doc tells Carly to only take the medication when she’s stressed, and no more than three a day. He tells her about the possible side effects, but says they’re very rare. Michael sees her, and she shoves the prescription in her bag. He asks what she’s doing there, and Doc says, nice talking to you, and leaves. She tells Michael that she had an appointment. She’s okay, but his father thinks she’s crazy.

Ava says, like Nelle, she won’t let Sonny or Carly stand in her way again. Nelle says maybe Griff is right, and they should share a reasonable compromise. Ava asks what brought about her change of heart, and Nelle says she was just thinking out loud. She felt badly that Ava and Griff aren’t on the same page. She says it’s not like he would make Ava choose between him and daughter.

Griff asks if Kiki is okay, but she says she’s fine. She figures it’s a doctor’s prerogative to tell you to get with the program or get out. She feels like every answer is wrong, because… Griff asks, what? Kiki says, nothing. She’s not on her game due to lack of sleep; she was worried about Avery. Griff asks if she wants him to say something, but Kiki doesn’t want David to think she’s not tough enough. She makes him promise he won’t say anything, and Griff says, okay, but she can always come to him. They hug, and David sees them.

Curtis promises not to freak out, and no more internet research. Jordan says she’s already made that list; there’s a 4% survival rate for stage four. Curtis says that’s a big jump, but she says it can spread quickly. She’s been thinking about TJ. He’s already lost his father, but she doesn’t want to dwell on the worst-case scenario. Curtis asks her to marry him. He loves her, and wants to carry on loving her, as long as they both shall live.

Sonny tells Mike none of it is his fault. Mike tells Sonny not to lie to him or himself. He keeps screwing up. They were better off when he was nowhere near Port Charles; he’s worse than useless. Sonny would do well to forget him. Sonny says that’s not going to happen. Dante asks to talk to Sonny.

Dante tells Sonny the court is in recess, and no bail has been set. He has to take Mike back. His hands are tied, unless Sonny talks to Ava. Unless there’s cooperation between the two of them, it will end badly for Mike. The longer he stays in a cell with nothing familiar around him, the faster he’ll slip away from them.

Tomorrow, Alexis tells Finn they shouldn’t be each other’s rebound, Kim asks Drew to buy her lunch, and Sam tells Jason that Spinelli stranded them on purpose.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion Part One

Andy stirs the pot while the ladies get ready, and the fabulous earrings come out. Dorit says tonight is about her having a voice, like she hasn’t been yapping non-stop through the whole season. Lots of sequins, and Kyle got a haircut. LisaR has also changed up her hair, although she tells us it’s a style she was rocking ten years ago, so I’m not sure if that counts.

Andy greets everyone, and LVP says it’s her favorite day of the year. Ha-ha. Andy says turning forty can be career death for a woman, but the ladies have proved differently. We flash back to all of their projects – Erika’s everything, Dorit’s swimsuits, LisaR’s fifty-million jobs. He asks if forty is the new thirty. Which is one of the stupidest things ever. Like, what does that even mean? Erika says it’s passé to think you’re done at that age, and Kyle says she was busy being a mother in her thirties. LVP says it’s a great message, since people didn’t used to think this way.

Erika’s book is in its third printing already. Andy reads an excerpt about her being afraid to lose her temper. He jokingly asks if they’ve never seen that, and she says she doesn’t think they have; she’s talking about eviscerating someone personally. She says when she came at Eileen, it was from a place of fear, and with Teddi, it was a place of frustration. LVP says Erika needs to understand how she affects the recipient. Andy asks why Tom wasn’t interviewed for the book, and Erika says it was a memoir, and she wanted to write about him herself. She says he hasn’t read it yet, and neither has her mom. Andy thinks that’s weird.

A viewer asks if LisaR would go back to Days of Our Lives permanently. She says probably not. She has too much else going on, and soaps have gone from no money to zero money.

Everyone got a Beverly Beach swimsuit named after them except for Teddi and Camille. Dorit says she named them after people who are involved in her life, and Teddi is new. Andy asks if Teddi was offended, and Teddi says for a moment. She didn’t realize they were in the place they were, until she watched the show, and she saw she’d irritated Dorit. Dorit says that Teddi is one person to her face and another behind her back. She’d thought they were friends. Teddi says she thought they were good. Dorit says she’s not on trial. LVP interjects that they all are. Teddi says the way Dorit talks to her is dismissive. Dorit insists she’s only been kind, and was hurt and disappointed that Teddi pretended to be her friend. Teddi is sorry, but had no idea that Dorit disliked her so much.

We go down Teddi Memory Lane. Teddi says her daughter’s been begging her to have another baby. With the last one, she and Edwin were dying to have a boy, and she thinks she might have had an easier time if they’d picked a different embryo. Dorit suggests getting a dog from the Vanderpump center. Andy stupidly asks her if she ever thought to name her kids Jack and Diane. She says no, and her father would never look at her again if she did. A viewer asks what “real” jobs (or what I call “square” jobs) she’s had, and she’s had a few, including working for LisaR’s agent. LisaR asks why they haven’t met her dad and Meg Ryan. Teddi says her father is now a fan of the show; they all watched it at Christmas. She tells a story about John Mellencamp thinking someone was coming up to him for an autograph, but they asked about Teddi and Dorit. Andy suggests a collaboration with Erika. Erika says he doesn’t need to collaborate with anyone; he’s in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Which we all take as meaning she doesn’t like the idea.

Andy tells us that this year was the nicest effing LisaR we’ve ever seen. She wants to show her girls you can be a strong woman without being a bitch. He says she was hammered a lot by the fans, and asks if that had anything to do with it, but she says it was more about taking a look at her behavior and not liking it. She says it’s been a nice, different ride. Andy asks LVP about missing the old LisaR, but LVP says she’s been more reserved. Viewer Jeremy from Queens says she’s been lame this season, and LisaR says, eff-you, Jeremy, so there you go. They all make a big deal about it for a second, and Jeremy must be going out of his mind with joy in Queens. Another viewer asks if there’s been blowback from LisaR posting provocative pictures on Instagram with her daughters, and she says there has, but it’s her Instagram. They talk about LisaR’s sex book from ten years ago, which has now been reprinted. Andy brings up LisaR throwing shade at Teddi on Watch What Happens Live, as well as Meghan McCain saying Teddi is boring.

Andy talks about LisaR once having said she liked Cedric. LVP says he caused their family a lot of pain, and LisaR says she didn’t know that. Kyle says LisaR has had a go at LVP on her Instagram. LVP says she heard it was nasty, and LisaR says she needs to have a sense of humor. LVP says if it hurts, it’s mean-spirited, and LisaR says if she didn’t see it, she should shut up. The Instagram stories go away in twenty-four hours anyway. Now there’s the LisaR we all know and love. Apparently, she knows nothing about screen shots either.

They joke about LVP running for governor. Erika says if you think reality TV is bad, try politics. We review LVP and Kyle’s friendship, and how Dorit changed the dynamic. We revisit LVP’s walking out at dinner, going back to the hotel with Dorit in NYC, and LisaR’s assessment of it all. They’re like a bunch of teenagers with the friendship thing. LVP says her feelings were hurt, and it wasn’t a great place to be. Kyle says she doesn’t bring things up on purpose, but talks to LVP in private. Erika thinks they have a decade of history and it will always work out. They say, blah-blah-blah about the dinner, and Andy asks if Kyle feels like she’s competing with Dorit. Kyle says no, but she understands how viewers would see it that way. She says it didn’t feel authentic when LVP said Dorit didn’t bother her. LVP says it took a while to see Dorit was economical with the truth. I love LVP’s phraseology. Kyle says she never wanted to create a problem, but was confused because LVP was behaving differently, maybe because of her relationship with PK.

A viewer asks why Dorit sugarcoated, when she was supposed to be coming clean to LVP. Dorit says she cherishes her friendship with LVP, and would never deliberately hurt her. LVP says she wasn’t upset until she saw it, but since then, they’ve reconciled. She says, you have to move on or you get accused of holding a grudge. We flash back to Kyle accusing LVP of holding a grudge. LVP uses the term ad infinitum, which causes all of the women to freak out, thinking she’s making it up. LisaR asks if that’s a word. No, it’s two Latin words, and it means infinity. Have none of them ever read books? This pisses me off, because it’s not an unknown phrase, and it seems like they’re just hoping LVP made a mistake. Dorit thinks Kyle is competitive with LVP. She says that in the beginning, Kyle told her that LVP thought she controlled her. LVP says even her husband doesn’t control her, and Kyle says she doesn’t remember ever saying anything like that. Since we don’t see a clip, I guess she didn’t. If she had, you know they’d have that on tape. Dorit says Kyle has a tendency to wind things up.

Andy brings up Kyle’s outburst at the Bella magazine party, and we flash back to that. Kyle says it wasn’t at the party, but afterwards. Dorit says it was still an important night. Andy says all due to Bella, it’s not Vogue, and I laugh. Even Andy says that was mean, but I still think it was funny. Dorit wants to set the record straight about the beach house – even though no one has brought it up. She was alone with Erika that morning, and she was uncomfortable about the conversation the night before. She insists she didn’t say it was Kyle, and we see clip of her saying it was Kyle. Kyle says she made a mountain out of a molehill. Dorit asks if she’s supposed to remember everything that happens on camera, and Kyle is like, yeah, if you say it, you’d better remember it correctly. She says Dorit seems to remember everything differently from everyone else, and exaggerates. They argue about what was on camera or wasn’t.

Andy desperately tries to change the subject, and begs them to move on. Erika’s migraine is worse. We shift to a better topic – Dorit bringing up Pantygate. Because we will never, ever be allowed to forget it. Dorit admits to not thinking before speaking, and says it was a bad analogy; she never meant Kyle was involved. We flash back to that, and Erika says she never had any problem with Kyle, unless there’s something else she doesn’t know about. Dorit repeats it wasn’t what she intended. Erika says she didn’t speak up at the time, but she was confused, since she had put it behind her. Andy talks about how Kyle left the fashion show, saying everyone was up everyone else’s asses. We flash back to her complaining to Mauricio. Erika says if there had been a problem, she would have brought it up to Kyle’s face. They know they don’t have a problem; they never have. LisaR thought what Kyle said was hurtful; none of them had anything to do with it. Erika says she was trying to call Kyle, and get some understanding. Kyle says when they were in Berlin, no one spoke up, and it didn’t feel authentic. Teddi says, there’s a pattern here. Kyle says she felt badly, and apologized to Erika. Andy says she also apologized to Dorit, and we flash back to that. Dorit says she felt hurt, and their friendship was fractured, although it’s better now. Kyle asks if Dorit can’t see why she was upset. Dorit says it’s not what she intended; she’s sorry. Erica and LVP have to explain what does she understand? means. The lightbulb comes on, and Dorit says, of course she does. LisaR says it’s freeing to let it go and move on.

Next time, Camille joins the group, Dorit getting getting cut from Beverly Hills Lifestyle is discussed, Erika and Teddi tangle, and Erika admits she’s rude to everyone. There are times I don’t like Erika, and do think she’s rude, but I have to admire her bluntness too. I’d much rather have someone tell me eff-you to my face than stab me in the back.

💅 I have to mention Dorit’s sparkly bobby pin hair ornaments. She has a beachy wave going on, so it’s the perfect choice. I have a nice collection of bobby pin hair ornaments, but they’ve become a thing. I hate when that happens. Now if I use them, people will think I’m just following a trend. It’s like the time I bought a sweater online that showed up on General Hospital before I’d had a chance to wear it. It wasn’t fair. I was there first.

👉 Give Me a W…









April 23, 2018 – A Surprise Dinner Party, Jax is the Lowest Form of Life & Misery Loves TV


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

At the station, Jordan says the last thing she expected to walk in on was Sonny and Ava yelling at each other. Sonny says he has full custody, and he’s taking Avery home. Ava says one more step, and his whole family will pay.

Valentin finds Nina putting appetizers on the coffee table, and asks what’s happening?She tells him they’re having a dinner party. He says she didn’t tell him, and asks who the guests are, and why is she being so mysterious?

In Switzerland, Spinelli says Henrik was thorough in covering his tracks. Jason tells him to focus on the records. Spinelli can’t find a name, but does have a picture. They gather around, and he says, behold, this is him. The banker agrees that it’s Henrik Faison.

Nina opens the door, and welcomes Peter in.

Robert asks what connection Anna has to Faison’s son. She said she never even knew of his existence until recently. Robert’s not buying it, and says Henrik isn’t just Faison’s son – he’s also hers.

Sonny tells Ava that she has no claim, and she says she’s Avery’s mother. He endangered her life, and Ava isn’t walking out. Sonny asks Jordan for help, but she says there’s nothing she can do. Sonny tells Ava that he’s been generous. She says screw his generosity. His deranged father put Avery at risk. Mike says he’s sorry, and Sonny says it was an accident; there won’t be a repeat. Ava says he’s got that right. He can go, but she wants Mike arrested.

Nelle stops by Sonny’s place, and asks Michael if there’s any news. He says, nothing. She says she hasn’t heard from Ava, either, but couldn’t stay at the gallery. He offers her some dinner.

Jason says he doesn’t recognize Henrik, and Spinelli says there’s no reason he should. It isn’t a real photo. It’s a composite of hundreds of other faces put together. Sam asks if the banker knew, but he had no idea. She asks Spinelli about the banker’s financial records. She thinks they should notify the Sultan or the bank board, or maybe the Russian. Spinelli thinks the Russian is a gangster of some repute. The banker says they have his full cooperation. Sam asks why they should believe him. Jason says has Henrik has a safe deposit box there, and asks Spinelli to see if his father did. Spinelli finds a record of it, and says it was last accessed on February 22nd – after Faison’s death – by the banker.

Nina tells everyone dinner is in a half hour. Valentin wonders since when is Peter a desirable guest. Nina says since Curtis found out about his past, or lack thereof. She wants to make him forget about Maxie. The doorbell rings. It reminds me of Watch What Happens Live, and I fully expect it to be the Gay Shark. It’s not; it’s Maxie.

Anna accuses Robert of raving. He says that instead of bringing him to justice, she’s making excuses for Henrik. She says he had a painful childhood, and Robert asks why it matters. She says it matters to his mother, and it matters to her.

Jason says the will was read in February, and asks the banker what Henrik wanted from the box. He says, letters: one addressed to Andrew Cain, and the other addressed to Jason Morgan. He asks if the banker opened them, but that’s no. He says that one was a standard envelope, and the other had a flash drive in it; both were sealed when he left. The banker tells them that he’s never seen Henrik in person. He doesn’t know what else is in the box, and Sam says they can find out themselves. The banker will do it for them. She tells Jason to go with him, so he doesn’t get lost.

Anna asks if Robert is happy, and says it’s enough for one day. She tells him to leave, but he wants to hear the rest. She says it won’t change anything, but he says he can better understand; she owes him that much. She tells him that she was young and in training. No one could crack Faison, but she knew his blind spot, and decided to use his obsession against him. She knew what bar he favored, and that he slept with women who posed as her. She disguised herself (as herself? this is the part I don’t get), and watched him. He’d been drinking a lot when she propositioned him; he was so drunk he couldn’t see her for who she was. Robert asks what happened, and she says it worked. She got what she needed that night, but got something she didn’t expect – a child.

Maxie tells Nina that she brought some contracts to sign, and Valentin says he’ll see to their guest. Nina says she’ll deal with it tomorrow, and tries to push Maxie out the door. A woman shows up, and Nina introduces her as Riley, and Maxie says she loved Riley’s Enchantment campaign. She wonders why Riley is there, since she doesn’t get out of bed for less than $10K. Riley says, or a tall, dark, and handsome dinner date.

Ava tells Jordan that Mike put her daughter in danger. Jordan asks Dante for just the facts. He tells her they found Mike and Avery at the stables, and they were gone more than twenty-four hours. She asks if Avery was injured, and Griff says she was fine. Ava says God knows where they were, since they were gone overnight. Dante says Mike isn’t well, and Sonny adds that he has diminished capacity. Ava says all the more reason he shouldn’t be around Avery. It’s child endangerment at best, and kidnapping at worst. Today, it was his own grandchild. Who will it be tomorrow?

Sonny says his dad is a good man. He tells her not to do this; he’s ill. Sonny asks Griff to help, and Griff says he recently diagnosed Mike with dementia. He says Mike loves his family and loves Avery. He didn’t mean for this to happen. Diane wants to confer with her client. Ava gets her phone out, and Griff asks what she’s doing. She tells him that she’s getting Scotty. He asks if she’s sure this is how she wants to handle it, and she says she’s protecting her child. She asks if he’s with her. Diane tells Sonny she’ll get his dad out. Carly says it was an accident; there was no criminal intent. Diane tells her that doesn’t mean a crime wasn’t committed.

Nelle tells Michael that she feels bad eating at a time like this, but he says she has to take care of the baby. He tells her that he has reason to be optimistic.

Peter tells Valentin that if anyone wants to dig into his past, let them; there’s nothing to find. Valentin says that’s the problem. When there isn’t much there, it’s a complete fabrication. Nina brings Riley in, introducing her to Peter as Crimson’s favorite cover model. Maxie says she and Peter have met.

Anna tells Robert ha the baby was innocent. She thought she could have it, and give it up, but she was wrong. She didn’t even know it was a boy. She didn’t want Faison to find out, but she needed to be sure. If she was wrong, all he needed to change was a reason – like a child. Robert says, and people call him optimistic. She told him that she was disillusioned with the Bureau, but she was playing him. She let him make her into a double-agent. She thought she could deliver him to the Bureau, but her plan didn’t work. He was so twisted by then, she couldn’t chance him finding out at that point. She was so far into the DVX; she was trapped, and couldn’t get out. Until he came with an assignment, and she met him. We flash back to Anna and Robert younger than I ever remember them. She says everything changed. He gave her a reason to hope.

The Banker brings in a box. Spinelli says, The Jackal is in full control of the bank and its security system. He tells the banker he’d better continue to cooperate. The banker says to just get what they want and go. They look in the box. Sam takes out some stacks of money, a bag of sapphires, and a folder of papers. Jason finds a picture of Anna, and puts it in his jacket pocket, saying he’ll give it back to her. Sam asks Spinelli if he has any idea what code is, and gives him the folder. Jason takes out a storage box, and says it has a scanner and a keypad. Spinelli tells him, touch that, and we’re dead.

Spinelli explains that It’s a conundrum box, designed to be opened by one specific person. If anyone else tries to open it, it self-destructs. The contents will be vaporized, as well as anyone in the proximity. Jason says nothing is uncrackable, an asks if it’s safe to transport. Spinelli says it’s stable, as long as it’s not opened. Sam says they’ll donate the cash and jewels to charity, and Spinelli concurs. He asks if they’re ready to depart before their comfortable margin to quit the premises is back online. He’s uploaded the banker’s illegal dealings. The banker says this is his death sentence. Sam says as long as he’s available as their private banker and doesn’t cross them, he’s safe. She says it’s been a pleasure, and links arms with Spinelli. The three of them leave.

Robert says he and Anna fell for each other and got married. Then he discovered she was a double-agent, and everything went to hell. Seven years later, she showed up with Robin. Anna says she’s sorry she hurt him. He’s sorry for her pain, and that he never made her feel safe. He weeps, and she says she’s sorry too. He asks what they do now. She can’t hunt for Henrik alone; he’ll help on one condition. Henrik must never know she’s his mother.

Peter and Riley talk about Budapest. He mentions all kinds of places to go, but she doesn’t like to leave her hotel room. Nina tells Valentin it’s going well, and he says it would be easier without Maxie. Nina says she didn’t invite her; she just showed up, and she can’t get her to leave. Valentin says he can get rid of her. Nina asks how, and Maxie joins them. She says they’re lucky she showed up. Her invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. Nina says she didn’t want Maxie to feel pressured. Maxie says she’s happy Nina is making the effort to be nice to Peter. He’s one of the friends she can count on.

Diane tells Sonny that Mike has to remain in custody, but the arraignment is tomorrow. Sonny says he’s sick, and Diane says she’ll address that, and get the charges conditionally dismissed. He’ll be remanded to Sonny’s care. Carly thinks there has to be a way around. Sonny thinks there is.

Robert tells Anna, no reunions. She says she has to tell Henrik about his risk of disease. Robert says they can communicate that, but not tell him that she’s his mother. He says she should spare her family at best, and at worst, he could destroy everything they love. He tells her to promise he’ll never know. Anna promises, and he asks who else she told. She says, Andre, and he says, what about Finn? She says she wanted to, but she couldn’t. She tells him there’s no one else she told, but there is someone else who knows.

Maxie tells Nina that Peter is a man of the world, and Riley dressed up her Shiatzu for Halloween. Her point?  She says someone needs to save him. She goes over to Peter and Riley, saying she doesn’t mean to interrupt, but is Riley off her diet? The crab puff she’s eating has gluten in it. Riley excuses herself, and Peter calls Maxie his hero.

Mike tells Sonny that he’s making a mistake. Carly tells Mike that he’s doing what he has to, and Mike says tell him not to. Ava wonders why Griff is struggling. Sonny asks what she wants, and Ava says full custody. Diane says that’s not on the table. Ava suggests they give Mike the cell furthest from the drunk tank. Diane tells her that whatever leverage she has is going to slip through her fingers. Ava tells Sonny that she’ll do what she can to make sure his father spends his last doddering days in a cell. Does he want to take that chance? Diane tells Sonny not to win the battle and lose the war. Sonny says all right. Ava was cheated out of time with Avery, and can have her until tomorrow. Ava says, until tomorrow then.

Michael brings Nelle some water. She says he doesn’t look happy, and he tells her that he can’t say  his parents always put their children first. Nelle say Carly would do anything for them without a second thought, and Michael says Nelle would do the same for their child. Nelle says she’s trying to give the baby the best life she can. Michael’s phone rings. He tells Nelle they’ve found Avery and his grandfather. They’re going to be okay.

Sonny tells Avery that he’ll see her in the morning. Ava picks her up, and she says, bye, Mommy and Daddy to Sonny and Carly. Ava is not amused. Griff leaves with her. Mike tells Sonny that he shouldn’t have done that. Sonny says Mike doesn’t know what’s going on, and he has it under control. Mike says not to make the mistake he did. When comes down to it, choose his child. Sonny tells him not to worry about it, and tells Mike that he loves him. He and Carly leave.

Robert says, so Valentin tracked Anna to the house, and saw the midwife give the baby away? She says he only saw the baby once; he’d thought she had a girl. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Spinelli, Sam, and Jason.

Maxie tells Peter that Riley is wrong for him. If he’s looking for a date, talk to her; she knows the best people. Peter has no doubt. Nina says dinner is served. Peter takes out his phone, saying a volatile appetizer needs his attention, and he’ll be right there. Nina can’t find Riley. Peter tells Valentin that if he’d had to spend anymore time with her, he’d have died from boredom. Valentin says Nina is not going to let him be with Maxie. He needs to leave Port Charles. Peter says Nina is Valentin’s wife. He needs to find a way to deal with her. Peter isn’t going anywhere.

Sam tells Anna that the letters were destroyed. Henrik had to bank manager get them from the box, and they’re gone. Spinelli shows them the conundrum box. Sam points out that it has the Cassadine family crest on it.

Nelle hugs Michael. Sonny and Carly return, and Michael asks where Mike is. Sonny says he’s with Dante, and Avery is with Ava, but just for the night. Nelle thanks Michael, and says she’s glad it worked out. He says he hopes so.

Ava tells Griff that Avery fell asleep before she was finished tucking her in. She found hay in Avery’s pockets. She spent the night in a barn with a man who didn’t know who she was; never again. Griff says she and Sonny will find a way to work it out tomorrow. He tells her there’s no need to worry anymore. She asks if she looks worried. No, but Griff does.

Mike tells Dante that he really screwed up, but Dante says Sonny and Ava are messed up. Mike says the worst thing is coming back to himself and seeing people trying to figure out how to handle him. Should they talk to him straight, or lie to him like he’s a child? Dante says, let’s go have another camp out.

Carly tells Sonny that if Ava gives them any trouble, they’ll play their trump card – the video of her and Paul Hornsby. Because everyone will care about her sleeping with some guy who left town ten years ago. Sonny tells her that he’ll take care of Ava and Avery. She should take care of herself. She’s the one who needs help.

Tomorrow, Jordan tells Curtis a spot was found on her lung, Ava is going to fight for full custody, and Doc asks Carly why Sonny wanted her to see him.

Vanderpump Rules

Brittany says this is exactly what Jax wanted, and jets, calling him a dumbass, and slamming the door on her way out. He calls to her from the balcony, but she gets in a car and leaves. He says he sucks at relationships, and picks at some pizza. He says there was so much damage, he thinks it was a lost cause. She’s not happy, and it’s the one thing he can do to fix it.

Jax goes to Katie and Schwartz’s apartment. He says it’s not good right now. He thinks he’s a decent guy, but when it comes to relationships, not so much. He ended things with Brittany, and she took off after dropping some f-bombs. Did he expect her to just shrug it off and stick around? Oh, wait. It’s Jax. Maybe he did. Katie asks if there was a fight. He says it was a good morning, and he tried not to be a d-bag. They had sex last night, and this morning; it was a great morning. Here’s where everything screeches to a halt in my mind. Even though I don’t hate Jax any less, I could almost see his point. Brittany should have broken it off with him long ago, but this is the next best thing – she needs to be rid of him. I’ve had jobs where I knew I should move on, but was comfortable. I would still be there if the companies hadn’t been sold, and I was forced to go. Schwartz and Katie are both like, what? and Jax puts the d-bag cherry on the cake by saying, because sometimes sex isn’t about relationships; you just need to get off. In her interview, Katie calls Jax clinically, sociopathicly, insane. Jax says he’s miserable, but needs to fix himself before he can make someone else happy. She deserves better. Katie seconds that, and I hate Jax even more, if that’s possible.

Lisa has something for Lala. Lala hopes it’s something good; she’s stressed out. Lisa gives her an amazing pair of knee high lace up peep-toe boots. Lala loves them. She says it’s the first time she’s putting it out there, and she’s terrified. Lisa knows she can do it, and wants her to kick ass. She says Lala has done everything to get ready, and trust her, it will go brilliantly. When you’re wearing boots like that, what could go wrong?

Jeremy and Billie have drinks at Tom and Ariana’s place. Ariana suggests Tom work on the book while he’s working on cocktails for the bar. In his interview, he says he has problem with tunnel vision, and just concentrates on one thing. They talk about looking at a house, and Tom says his parents might have to help him out, because he’s invested everything in TomTom. If it’s a success, the house might come sooner than later. Ariana is obsessed with houses. Schwartz texts Tom about Jax and Brittany breaking up. He tells Ariana that he’s pretty sure Schwartz is meeting Jax at the hotel. Ariana can’t believe Tom is leaving because Jax broke up with his girlfriend. They finally have time to hang, and now he’s going to bounce because Jax made a stupid decision.

Tom says Jax is his friend. In her interview, Ariana wonders what it’s like up Jax’s butthole, and if there are rainbows and unicorns. She says they haven’t been on a date in forever. Jax made the choice to be an idiot, and Tom needs to stop babysitting him. She knows by the time he gets home, she’ll be asleep. Tom leaves to Ariana says sorry his friend is such an idiot.

Kristen tells Carter that Brittany is coming over. Jax just broke up with her, and had sex before he did. It’s bad enough he cheated on her, but he had to get one last bang in. Carter tells her that everyone’s version of the hot tub story is different. Kristen doesn’t know how they can have different stories, when no one was there but her, James, and Schwartz. She tells him that she’s being honest, and he has to believe her. He says he doesn’t put himself in positions like that, and she shouldn’t either. In her interview, Kristen says he’s right. She shouldn’t put herself in the position to jeopardize their relationship. She tells him, lesson learned.

Baby man Jax waits for his keepers. Schwartz and Tom show up with reinforcements, otherwise known as liquor. In his interview, Schwartz says Jax and Brittany’s relationship was an utter disaster; it was time to call it quits. He asks if Jax thought about breaking up while he was nailing Brittany. Jax says there’s no right way to break up, but Tom says there is a wrong way. Jax tells them as soon as he got the job offer, he was in. Tom says they’re all going to Lala’s showcase, and Jax says he’s passing. Schwartz says they need to have separation. Tom says they can’t sleep in the apartment together.

Brittany is staying at a hotel, and met up with her childhood friend Zack, who now lives in LA. She tells us that he’s like a piece of home, and she hadn’t wanted to be around anyone who worked at SUR. She brings Zack with her to Kristen’s place. She tells Kristen that she’s still in shock; it’s not like they had a fight. She says she did everything she could; she’s never been so stressed out as she has in this relationship. She knows she can make it, and makes enough money to support herself. She hasn’t talked to Jax or responded to his texts. Zack says she’s super strong. In her interview, Brittany says Jax betrayed her in so many ways. It’s time to put herself first for once. She says trying to make Jax happy has been sh*t. Kristen brings up Adam, and Brittany says he’s really hot. She sent him her number; she wants someone to flirt with. Kristen couldn’t be prouder of her.

Ariana and Tom look at a house. The realtor shows them around, and asks if they’re planning on having children. Ariana says, no, and Tom says, yes; three or four. Ariana says her handbags are her children. In her interview, Ariana says she just can’t, colorfully describing pregnancy and childbirth, using a lot of hand gestures. The realtor asks what they do, and Tom tells her about the upcoming TomTom. He’s excited about more space, and having something together besides the credenza. He also wants more privacy. We see a clip of Jeremy interrupting a living room make-out session. He says, not just for him, but for them as a couple. The realtor leaves them to check the place out. Ariana is glad they’re taking a baby step forward. If they get a house, maybe Tom will figure out what’s important, and tell Jax to do it on his own. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t want to control Tom, but wants to be put first and have him care about her feelings too.

Harrison! At SUR, Lisa shows Harrison’s new gym clothes to Stassi, who is rooting around for candles to use at Lala’s party. Lisa tells her about Schwartz and Tom wanting to have people for drinks in the TomTom space, which is hardly finished. She says sometimes it’s easier to acquiesce. Stassi says she’s learned that too. Lisa asks about Patrick, and Stassi says she’s frustrated. She doesn’t know what love is anymore, and Lisa says when you love someone, you want to make them happy. Stassi thinks Patrick is a good person, but doesn’t know. Lisa thinks it shouldn’t be that complicated. In her interview, Stassi says Lisa and Ken are too perfect, and one must be an alien. Relationships like theirs don’t exist.

Brittany polishes glasses at SUR. Lisa asks if she’s okay, and Brittany says she’s fine. She’s staying in a hotel, and wants to work. In her interview, she explains that she grew up on a farm, and if you don’t get up and feed the chickens, you’ll have dead chickens. You get off your ass and get it done. I come from that kind of work ethic myself. She tells Lisa that he’s embarrassing her more by ending it for no reason. Stassi tells her not to feel embarrassed. They’ve all been there. Brittany says it’s time to put herself first. Peter brings over some goat cheese balls.

Tom and Schwartz look in a clothing store for uniform ideas. Schwartz wants the employees to be happy. Tom says he wants a look that’s completely different from SUR and PUMP. He wants the bartenders to wear something comfortable that’s also sexy. They talk about the progress party, and try on different shirts. Schwartz says hopefully, Jax isn’t coming to Lala’s showcase. Tom is tired of Jax doing this sh*t, and handling things like an idiot. He’s not going to believe the break-up is real unless it’s been two months. Schwartz says he’s going to have zero sympathy for Brittany if she goes back to him. In his interview, he says Brittany knew what she was getting into. There’s no point in over-analyzing it. He says Jax will be firing up his Tinder account, and getting back in touch with his man-whore roots.

Stassi brings her friend Alex to help with setting up the showcase party. She just wants Lala to be happy, so she can focus on being great. She still can’t believe she’s planning Lala’s performance party. Lala comes in, and says she takes back anything bad she’s ever said about Stassi. She’s excited, anxious, and nervous. James tells her it will be good, and they go through some musical stuff. In his interview, James talks about when he first met Lala, and we flash back to that. He feels partly responsible for her big debut. Lisa FaceTImes Lala, who says she’s nervous, and trying to pull it together. Lisa asks if Lala’s boyfriend is coming, and Lala says, maybe. Lisa thinks he should be there to support her. In his interview, James finds it odd. If it was his girlfriend, he’d be there for her debut. Lala says she’ll send Lisa a video.

James tells us that you never know who’s watching, and it only takes one person to make you famous. The place looks fabulous, with flowers, candles, and images of Lala everywhere. Brittany says it’s great to be thinking about herself for once, and Stassi says she has the smile of freedom. Lala just wants to have the best time ever on stage, and has her squad with her. She usually doesn’t care how people react to her, but this time she’s looking for approval, and hopes she does a good job. She shows off her new boots.

Sean 2, Lala’s producer, introduces her. In her interview, Scheana says she loves watching Lala, and it makes her want to go back to the recording studio. James says Lala is looking hot. Keeping it classy and sexy; then sexy and less classy. James does a song with her. In her interview, Stassi says Lala did incredibly well. She’d expected her to be like Scheana – tone deaf in a tutu, lip-synching. We flash back to that. Stassi says instead, Lala killed it. Lala never thought this many people would be so supportive. Stassi calls Lala a cool-ass awesome person. In her interview, Lala says she’s finally found a place among these bad birches. She thanks everyone for a second chance, and says she loves them. They toast. You’ve come a long way, Lala.

Tom asks Schwartz if Brittany has talked to Jax, and he says Jax texted her twice. He FaceTimes Jax, waking him up (good). Schwarz says they just saw Lala, and he’s a believer. Jax asks if Brittany is there, and how she is. Schwartz looks over to where Brittany is having he time of her life, and says she’s solid. Tom says for most part, she seems okay with it. In his interview, Jax thought it would be better, but it’s been worse. I break out my violin. Adam tells Brittany that he’s coming at everything blind. In her interview, Brittany says he’s a Southern gentleman, he’s hot, and she doesn’t give a flying about Jax. Women everywhere cheer. Everyone dances and drinks and has a good time.

Lala says James was the one who told her that her voice was good enough for people to hear. She’s grateful. He’s the one person gave her the confidence to start singing. James says he hasn’t always been the best friend, but Lala kept it real, and kept him in check. He respects her for that. They have each other’s backs. They hug.

Jax talks with therapist Lindsey. He tells her that he ended things with his girlfriend, and has a lot of emotions going on. In his interview, he says he usually sees Reiki instructor Kelsey, who makes life better, but she’s away, so he’s seeing his therapist. Hopefully, he can get through this without going crazy. He tells Lindsey that he’s 90% at fault. He doesn’t know how to do the right things; that’s why he broke things off. Brittany brought everything she could bring to the table. She was faithful, loving, caring, and deserves better. There are tears in eyes, and he says he doesn’t want this. She’s the first one he’s loved. I remain unmoved.

Brittany and Ariana go to the apartment. Brittany runs upstairs to change. Scheana joins them. Ariana says she’s Brittany’s bodyguard. Scheana remarks that Brittany is strong, calm, cool, and collected. Brittany tells them about Jax’s texts, where he said he loved her. She was the best thing that happened to him, and it’s hard. She says he can go screw himself. In her interview, Brittany says it’s her time to shine, and in the next relationship, she’ll rule the roost. She says, thanks for the boob job, a-hole.

Jax knows he did the right thing, but she was the best girlfriend he ever had. He says it was something he had to do, and holds his head in his hand. He thought it was the right thing to end it. Let her start fresh, and find someone to give her what he can’t. He doesn’t know if that’s what he wants. He doesn’t know if he made the right decision. He’s super lost and confused. My heart bleeds for him.

Next time, the finale, the TomTom progress party happens, Stassi introduces Patrick to Lisa, and Lisa asks for Jax’s resignation.

🏃 And We’re Out…








April 22, 2018 – Madison Meets New People, Quite the Hat, Film Talk & More Than One Random Thought


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Fear the Walking Dead


Everyone is sleeping like things are normal; like it used to be. Luci makes coffee for Nick, and everybody gets dressed, and ready for the day. All kinds of activities are going on.

Madison asks a little girl about her family, but she doesn’t want to talk. She asks the girl about some of her favorite things instead. Madison says it takes getting used to, but this is home now. She’ll do what she can to make it happen, but needs help. The girl nods. Madison asks where the girl was coming from, and she points. Madison looks out to see zombies wandering around outside the baseball stadium they call home.

Over a loudspeaker, we hear it’s been 365 days. Victor says they’re celebrating, and pours maple syrup over everyone’s breakfast. Madison hammers away at something, and Alicia brings her some food. She tells Madison that they’re leaving in twenty minutes.

The girl talks to Nick about a story that sounds like Faust; a guy selling his soul to the devil. The turnip crop isn’t doing so great, and the girl, whose name is Charlie, asks about food running out. Nick says they’re almost growing enough not to need scavenging.

Madison tells the others where she thinks Charlie is from, but it’s outside the range. Madison says they have to look for her family anyway.

The group gets ready to leave. Nick asks Luci to find Charlie a new book. If she’s reading Faust, hopefully Luci understands to bring back something at a higher reading level than My Little Pony. Luci says Nick should come, but he has a turnip situation. He asks her to make sure Madison comes back this time. Luci tells Madison that Nick has to come out at some point. Madison says he needs to feel safe right now, but he will. Nick finds out it’s weevils causing the crops to fail, and radios the car. They get out of range before he can finish the conversation.

Madison parks, and tells them eyes open, stay close, keep talking. Victor and Luci go through a building that’s been picked clean; even the lightbulbs are gone. Alicia and Madison find a mess and a burned-out car. Madison says it’s lucky Charlie got out alive. Victor realizes the place isn’t just void of survivors, but also the dead. It’s a ghost town without ghosts. (I said that, not him.) Madison sees half-eaten food, and tells Victor that they’ll be there in a minute.

Luci says Madison won’t stop until she looks under every rock. Victor says she wouldn’t stop until she found him. He still hasn’t asked why she helped him after what he did. Luci suggests he does.

Charlie messes with the radio, and Nick tells her it’s okay, they haven’t been gone that long. Charlie knows it’s not a regular run. Nick says if her family is out there, they’ll find them. He asks if she’ll help with the turnips. What is it with turnips? They grow them on The Walking Dead too. Considering my gardening skills lean more toward enthusiasm than actual talent, maybe I should try growing them.

Madison and Alicia look around, but there’s nothing. A woman comes up behind Madison with a gun, and asks for her keys. Madison tells her that she doesn’t have to do this, but the woman keeps a bead on her. Madison signals Victor on the radio. He says, sh*t! and takes off. Madison tells the woman about the settlement. She says they have strong walls, plenty of food, and good people. She says they took in a little girl named Charlie, and asks if the woman knows her, but she says she doesn’t have a kid, and tells Madison to stop. She takes the keys from Madison’s pouch, but runs up against Alicia, with Victor and Luci now behind her. The woman dashes past them. Madison follows.

The woman runs up some steps leading to an oil tank. Alicia asks her to put the gun down, and puts her own down. Alicia tells her to trust them; they’ll give her the car. The woman backs up, and falls into the tank. Lots of falling through roofs going around. It’s dark, and full of oily water. Zombies pop up everywhere. Madison tells Victor to get the hatch open, and jumps down. Victor and Alicia struggle to get it open, but finally do, and oil, water, and zombies flow out. They kill the zombies, and Alicia gets Madison out.

Luci finds a copy of The Little Prince. Well, it’s no Dostoevsky, but better than My Little Pony. Victor wonders why they’re bothering, and Madison says, no one is gone until they’re gone. The woman introduces herself as Naomie. She says she’s sorry; she wasn’t going to hurt her. Madison asks if she has any idea who let the zombies into the tank, but she just got there. Madison asks where she’s from, and Naomie says it’s been a long time since she’s been from anywhere. We hear zombie noises, and Luci says they should leave – now.

Nick burns the turnip crop. A zombie sticks its dead fingers through the fence. Suddenly, music is playing, then fades. Nick wonders if it’s a signal, and he and the others wait to hear it again. There’s just silence, and Nick asks Charlie to open the gate. He gets in a car, takes a deep breath, and rolls out.

Nick remembers being behind a fence, and blowing up the reservoir. Zombies grapple at the car, and Nick runs into something, hitting his head on the dashboard. A sniper from the settlement shoots at the zombies, and radios him to get back. He gets out, and starts walking toward the gate. A zombie starts to come up on him from behind, and in perfect timing, Madison returns and creams it with her car. Luci asks what happened, and Nick says he was out for a stroll. She tells him get in.

Madison wants to talk to Charlie. Charlie says it’s okay; she knows Madison didn’t find them. Madison  tells Charlie that she has to ask another question; not an easy one. What happened at the camp? Who did that? Charlie says nothing, and Madison says they’ll talk later.

Nick gets his wounds dressed by Naomie, who was a nurse, at the ER, then the ICU. Madison doesn’t think it was a surprise to Charlie that they didn’t find her family. Nick leaves, and Naomie says Madison didn’t tell her it was a baseball stadium. Madison says Naomie didn’t believe she had a camp. Naomie asks how many, and Madison says forty-seven; forty-eight if she decides to stay. Naomie says she pulled a gun, but Madison says they’ve all done worse. She thought she’d lost her kids, but found them and found this place. They built it up together. They are who they are because of it. Naomie says they don’t know her. Madison says she doesn’t know them. They’re both taking a chance. She suggests Naomie take a shower, and Naomie is astounded they have one – with hot water.

Victor pushes the car Nick was driving, while another guy steers. Luci radios them to get inside now; ditch the car. They look behind them, where there’s a convoy of large vehicles driving in. They run in, and lock the gate. This doesn’t look good.

A dude rides around on a bicycle, music coming from the boombox on the handlebars. Another guy opens a boxcar, and takes out a ramp. Biking dude leads the zombies up the ramp, and goes out the other side, while the ramp guy locks the zombies in. He puts a flag up that says 12. (In last week’s episode, Al found a flag that said 51, and said she’d seen a lot of those.) A third guy gets out a lawn chair, sits in it, and cracks a beer. Everyone watches. Okay, they have me. I have no clue what’s going on, but obviously these numbers mean something.

Madison walks over to guy sitting down, and asks what he’s doing. He says, having a drink. She asks if there’s a problem, and he says, we’re good, and asks if she wants a drink. She says they have people inside with guns, and he says, that’s a helluva welcome. She tells him that she saw the camp, and the tanks. He asks if she thinks they did that, and she says she saw their flag. He tells her that they had to clean up the mess. The people never thought of what would happen if the bleeder valve got jammed. He warned them, but they didn’t listen. Madison asks what he wants. He wants them to listen. They have a mess of their own. He knows they had a bad batch of turnips, and says to tell Nick to check the other crops; weevils are a bitch to get rid of. Madison asks how he knows Nick’s name. He calls out for Chito, and Charlie walks over.

He tells Charlie, sorry he’s late, but he got her some new records. She smiles, and he tells her to get in the bus. He tells Madison that she’s a good kid. They found her a while back; she has a knack for finding good stuff, and they hit the jackpot here. Madison says they’re not taking anything. He tells her people often say that. They don’t take anything from anyone; not anyone alive anyway. He knows they’re good people, and how many guns they have. He says there’s a natural cycle to a place like this, and they’re due for something to go wrong. They can either give them their stuff and live, or join them. Become one of them, or they wait for them to die, trying to make things work. Either way, he ends up with what he wants. It’s not a threat; it’s the way it goes. He tells Madison that his name is Mel, and holds out his hand. She doesn’t reciprocate, and says they’re not going anywhere. Mel says he’s heard that too. She says they’ve been like them, moving from place to place, and they’re not going back to that life; they’ve found a better way. Mel says they just haven’t been tested yet, but they’re about to be. If she changes her mind, they’ll be waiting. I’m wondering where the women are in this merry band.

Nick toils in the fields. Mel and his friends play more music, country this time. The weevils still rule the turnips. Madison continues to hammer. The others put down their guns, and join her. Takeaway point: Country music makes people do carpentry.

Luci goes out to the bus. Charlie watches from the window as she leaves the book outside. Luci goes back, and joins in on the hammering. Nick remembers working on Jeremiah’s house.


Morgan and John are on their knees, with Madison and her group around them. Morgan says, we’re not who you think we are. Nick rifles through Morgan’s knapsack, and Morgan tells him to help himself. Luci says they must be with them, and holds up the numbered flag. Al asks, who? Victor says, the Vultures. Al has no idea what he’s talking about, and says, if you a-holes would put your guns down, we can help each other. Madison asks who put the flag up, and Al asks what is it to them? Alicia tells Al that she’s going to answer their questions. Al says they found it, and Alicia says show them where.

They get into Al’s truck, and move out.

Next time, Morgan and Nick tussle, Alicia fights zombies, and Morgan says it’s not going to work out how they think. And in case you didn’t know, Naomie is being played by Jenna Elfman.

😸 Ha-Ha!

On Talking Dead, when they say goodbye to those we’ve lost this week, they included Nick’s crop, calling them tur-nopes.

🍸 I barely glanced at The Real Housewives of Potomac, but I did see Robyn trying to have some serious words with Ashley about respect. Ashley was wearing a hat – a fascinator no less – the size of Potomac, and I wondered how Robyn could even keep a straight face, much less discuss anything important. This was during a garden party Gizelle had for a book she was writing (via ghostwriter) about pastor’s wives in the Black church, who are called First Ladies. It’s fiction, but loosely based on her own experiences. I’d definitely read that.

🏯 I was watching a mini-marathon of Abandoned episodes on Viceland this morning (I love that show!), and it led to my leaving the TV on when the original 1980 film of The Shining followed. I’ve never thought it was as good as the book, and thought Jack Nicholson seemed crazy from the jump. I would never let him babysit my hotel over the winter. And Shelley Duvall… well, she was Shelley Duvall. The remake (1997) had more of a sporting chance, since it was a mini-series and had more hours to tell the story. Sadly, although I finally got the topiary animals I wanted to see (Stanley Kubrick couldn’t get them to look right on film in the original, so they were scrapped for the maze), it was somewhat tepid, and lacked the intensity of the original Danny (Danny Lloyd) and Dick Halloran (Scatman Crothers). Which brings me to my point. It was pretty much background noise until Scatman was on the screen. While I love looking at the hotel – sometimes the setting can be one of the stars of the film for me – my favorite scene is when Dick connects telepathically with Danny in the pantry, then explains the shining to him. They just seem so real. That it still captivates me after all these years is a testament to their acting skills. SPOILER – if you’re the one person who hasn’t seen this film. That’s what made it even worse that they killed him off, totally changing the end of the story, where he saves the day. I heard there was supposed to be a third time, again for the big screen. Whether that’s the charm or not, remains to be seen.

🎷🚬 The second episode of Southern Charm New Orleans was on tonight. While Charleston is your upscale country cousin, NOLA is your sultry, mysterious maiden aunt, who never ages, but has a portrait upstairs.

🔌 I saw a commercial for Amazon Echo, and it was a father telling Alexa to announce “ready or not” to his kids during a game of hide-and-seek. How lazy can you get????  Unplug now. Save yourself.

🔮 Danny Learns About His Gift…

🌎 Happy Earth Day! 🌍

April 21, 2018 – Double the Dead with Catch-up & a Side of Random Thoughts


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


I couldn’t do this last week because the wind blew my internet away. But now, I’m all caught up, and if you weren’t, you will be too. Sorry for the different tenses between shows. It just came out that way.

The Walking Dead

Rick wondered how it happened that Carl got bit. Siddiq explained that his mom believed the dead’s souls were trapped. Carl wanted to honor her to gain Siddiq’s trust, and died paying respects to a woman he never knew. Siddiq had a brainfart, and forgot it was dangerous. Which didn’t exactly answer the question.

Ezekiel told Jerry to justify what they’ve lost, be prepared to lose everything. but they weren’t going to lose sh*t. Daryl still thought Dwight could be setting them up. Morgan got weird, thinking that something was happening, and nearly skewered Henry with his pokey stick. Maggie wouldn’t let the stray Saviors come along for the battle. Morgan insisted on coming, even though Rick was skeptical. Morgan said they were worse than they were, and it was wrong for Rick to have given his word, then double-cross the renegade Saviors. They lost everything good, and can’t go back. Morgan wanted to finish it.

Negan told Dwight that he had nothing, and told his guys to load Dwight up. Eugene personally checked and quality controlled all of the ammunition, and Negan tested it on an effigy of Rick. Eugene suggested a one-fell swooper. Negan decided Gabriel should tag along; he had things to confess.

Negan set up a roadblock, using his own people as bait. He told Gabriel that Rick thought he got the real story. Now he’ll find the map with the time and place, and believe it, because he’s going to kill everyone who could have told him otherwise. Sure enough, Rick kills them all, even the last guy begging for his life. Morgan saw Jared in a vision, and he told Morgan that he should try dying sometime. Ezekiel found the map on one of the dead Saviors, and Carol figured they could get to Negan before he knew what happened.

Gabriel was surprised that Negan wanted to kill everyone; he’d thought Negan didn’t want that to happen. Negan told him it wasn’t about want; it never was. Gabriel bounced out of the moving car, but Eugene helped hunt him down. Negan remembered Gabriel saying he didn’t want to die a fruitless death, and told him you can’t always get what you want, while I got a Rolling Stones earworm. He told Eugene to put Gabriel back in the car.

Jesus tried to explain the conundrum of safety to Morgan, and proposed the pokey end of his stick for the dead, and the blunt end for the living. When Rick and company came out into the open, they heard whistling. It looked like the Saviors had Rick’s people outnumbered by about 300%. Negan said he met Rick’s ambush with a bigger one, and to come out and face them. He wanted to make it fun, so he brought some old friends. He told them that Eugene made today possible; the same with Dwight. He told Dwight he was going to watch them die, and live with that. He was going to clean house, starting with Gabriel. He told Rick there never had to be a fight, if he’d just accepted how things are. Negan started to count down, and they looked like the Jun horde from The Beastmaster coming over the top of the mountain.

They joke was on them, because Eugene had quality controlled the bullets to shoot backward, and they shot themselves. Pretty good trick. Rick announced the charge, and there was lots of shooting, but Negan took off. The ex-Saviors Maggie didn’t want there came anyway. A bunch of Saviors who came out of nowhere, nearly nailed the group, but got blown up by the Oceansiders, who’d decided to join in too. The remaining Saviors kneeled in front of Maggie, and said, it’s over.

Rick went after Negan on his own, but ran out of bullets. They kicked each other’s asses for a while, by the tree where Carl is buried. During a break, Negan told Rick he was bullsh*tting with the eenie, meenie, minie, mo business in the beginning. He just didn’t want to kill a kid’s dad in front of him, but if he had, the kid might still be alive. Negan always makes good points. He told Rick he’s bigger, badder, and has a bat. Rick wanted to talk about the future. He told Negan that Carl said there didn’t have to be a fight. Despite looking somewhat weepy, Negan said Carl was wrong, and Rick slit his throat. Surprising the hell out of me, and probably everyone else, although somehow, it seemed anti-climactic and rude.

Everyone was like, whoa, and then, now what? Rick said Negan was still alive, and told Siddiq to save him. Maggie freaked out, saying they had to end it, and it wasn’t over until Negan was dead. Rick said they were all going home. Negan might be alive, but his way of doing things was over. Anyone who couldn’t live with it would pay the price. He said they were going to live in peace and fairness, and find common ground. The world was theirs, but others would come for them unless they stood together. The new world was going to begin, and there had to be something after. Rosita gave props to Eugene for the sabotage, but punched him in the face anyway for the puke.

Morgan gave Carol his pseudo armor for Henry, and walked off. Rick got teary, as Rick is wont to do these days, and said, mercy prevails over the land. He sat where Carl was buried, and cried.

The ex-Saviors decided to go back to the Sanctuary, hoping to get something out of it.  The guy whose name I can never remember told Maggie that he’d been reading the book, and could make some things. He has a passion for building things, and said she gave him his life.

Daryl took Dwight to the woods. Dwight started crying and saying he knew what he did, and knew he’d have to face it and pay. He was ready; it was enough to see Negan taken down. He cried, saying how sorry he was, and Daryl told him to shut up. He tossed Dwight some car keys, and said to keep going. If he saw Dwight again, he’d kill him. As Dwight walked away, Daryl told him to find her. I assumed he meant Sherry.

Gymboree Jadis was reading at the trash heap when Morgan showed up. He told her that Rick said she could come back if she wanted. He explained that Rick wanted to show people that things can change, and needed all the hands he could get. He told her that she didn’t want to be alone, and everything in life worth a damn, is people. She told him her name is Ann, which was kind of a let-down. He told her he needed to be alone, and go back without him, which made perfect sense considering what he’d just said.

Dwight went back home to the cabin in the woods (no, not that one), where he found a note. it just said honeymoon, with an infinity symbol below it.

In Maggie’s office, she told Jesus that he was right. She had no regrets, but he and Rick were right. Rick wasn’t right about Negan though. She said they had to make it thrive for the people who live there. They needed strength, and the ability to defend themselves better, but RIck was wrong; Michonne too. She said they were going to bide their time, wait for the right moment, and then show him. Daryl came out of the shadows, and said, yeah, they will. I don’t like this.

Negan woke up, his neck bandaged, handcuffed to a bed. Michonne said she needed to tell him some things. They planned on making him watch what happens. Rick said it wasn’t about who he killed, but what he did to so many, making them live for him and putting them under the boot. Negan struggled to say, he saves people, and Michonne put her hand on his throat. Rick suggested they could open his stitches for a while. Rick said Carl pitched something better; working together for something bigger than all of them. Michonne added, being an example. They weren’t going to kill or hurt him, but his fate was to rot in a cell for the rest of his life, evidence that they’re making and getting back a civilization like they had. He’ll get to see how wrong he was about what people and life can be. They’ll show people things changed by keeping him breathing. Michonne said after all this, he’s good for something.

Gabriel went to the burned out church and thanked God. He said he understood, and knew now. He’s been given so much, and now he can see.

Rick wrote to Carl. As he wrote, we saw them in the old days, walking down a road. He told Carl that he forgot who he was, and Carl made him remember. He remembered walking with him, and knew who he was for the first time. They were walking side by side, but Carl was bringing him somewhere. To the new world. He made it real. Rick sees it and remembers. Officer Rick and little Carl continued to walk down the road.

Moving right into…

Fear the Walking Dead

Out in the middle of nowhere, a man stands by a truck. He hears something, and asks if anyone is there. He longs to hear someone else’s voice, and suggests they come out and have something to eat. He talks about his life before, and says he can make popcorn. He also has books. He says, since no one is there, before he goes quiet again for another year, he has a story. He talked to a woman who showed up. He let her stay. They had feelings for each other, and one day, they allowed it. He hoped by saying it, he would see it. He did. It was nice, and there hasn’t been a lot of nice. We hear a zombie. The man shoots it, and we see Morgan just behind. The man introduces himself as John Dory, like the fish. He asks Morgan what’s his story?

Morgan is at the trash heap. Jesus knocks at the entrance. He thought they could continue their acquaintance. He insists Morgan cares about people, and tries to get him to come back.

Morgan is alone again. There’s another knock at the entrance, and this time it’s Carol. She asks him to come back. He helped her, so let her help him. She’s not going to tell him what to do, but he belongs with people who care about him.

Again, Morgan is alone. Rick shows up, and says he can hide, but he can’t run. He wouldn’t be alive if not for Morgan. Rick was hurt, and Morgan brought him in. Morgan wasn’t shot, but he’s been hurt. He asks Morgan to come back, and not to waste another second. He’s alive and part of the world. A lot of people are there because he helped them. Morgan says that’s not him anymore. Rick disagrees, saying he’ll end up with people one way or another. He’s part of the world already, so just come back. Rick leaves.

Morgan packs up his stuff, and gets his stick. He takes a long last look at the trash, and moves on down the road. He thinks about Rick’s words, and starts to run. He hotwires a car, and the gas tank is miraculously full. He walks some more. He sees a group of people, and avoids them. He finds another car, and drives again. He goes into a town and sees a cluster of zombies.

He opens a car to find someone who’s sick and shaky. He starts to leave some supplies, but the guy doesn’t want them. Morgan says, sorry. He thought the guy was on his own. The guy says, we all are. Morgan moves along, and it starts to rain.

Morgan comes up behind a zombie in the woods. A shot rings out, the zombie falls, and we’re back to the beginning. John tells Morgan he’d like company, but Morgan is hesitant. John asks if he’s seen a woman with a pistol like his; he’s looking for her. Morgan says he hasn’t, and starts to leave, but John suggests he stay the night; he can take the back of the truck. Morgan sees the wisdom in a good night’s rest. He slips out later while John is snoring.

Morgan finds a tent with a lantern lighting the inside. He sets down his stick and gets whacked in the head. I jump a mile.

Dude tells Morgan, whatever he’s thinking, don’t. Morgan says keep the food, and he’ll go. Dude doesn’t want him telling no one. Morgan says he has no one to tell, and doesn’t want to know anyone. John is suddenly there, and shoots dude in the arm. He says he’s looking out for his friend, and dude says he has friends too. They’re surrounded, and John says now he got himself captured. He’s reminiscent of Eugene in how he speaks.

A big ass truck drives into the tent city, or whatever it is. The woman behind the wheel asks what’s going on, and remarks they have new people. She likes new people. She has a cake and some Cup O’Noodles, the good kind, and she’ll throw in some Pall Malls. Apparently, dude likes Pall Malls. She opens the hatch of the truck to reveal a couple of machine guns. She tells dude, there’s always a choice, and this is an easy one. Morgan and John get in the truck.

The woman’s name is Althea; Al for short. John asks if she’s an officer of the law, and she says, not exactly. She tells them that they owe her. She didn’t save them out of the goodness of her heart. John draws his gun, but she says she just wants to ask them questions. What they’ve seen, who they’ve met, where they’ve been, and where they’re going. She tells them that she’s a journalist, pulls over, and picks up a video camera.

Al interviews John, who talks about Laura. Al asks how they got split up. He says it’s not a happy story, and gets vague. Morgan asks why it matters; there are no news stations anymore. She says he owes her. He tries to give her some food instead, but she only wants his story. He just wants to go. John gives him some clean socks for the road.

Dude comes back with his friends to hassle Al. They want the truck. Dude asks for Morgan’s stick. Morgan slams him with it, and he and john get the better of dude and several of his guys. John gets his gun back. Morgan jumps onto a truck, and John inadvertently lets a bunch of zombies loose. Dude tries to steal Al’s truck, but doesn’t have the keys. Al flings them away, and dude tries to run for them, but a zombie goes after him. Morgan gets shot in the leg by a sniper, who’s been a bad shot up until now. Morgan knocks him around on the roof. The sniper falls off, but hangs onto the ledge, dangling above a gaggle of zombies. Morgan holds out his hand, and pulls him back up. As thanks, the sniper punches Morgan. This is a good example of no good deed going unpunished. They both tumble through the roof. No surprise, Morgan does not help a second time, and gets the hell out. He throws a grenade or something, ducks, and the room blows up. He goes back outside.

John and Morgan shoot and pike zombies. Dude harasses Al for the keys until John finally shoots him, and leaves him for zombie food. Al gets in her truck, opens up the guns, and kills the rest of the zombies. And they all lived happily ever after. Not quite, but they lived.

Al says Morgan still owes her. He tells her to pull over. She films as he talks about Alexandria and the Kingdom. He says there was a big fight, but he left before he left. She asks why he left, but he thinks she should talk. He asks why it’s important, but she doesn’t want to return the favor. She says one real thing, and they’re even. Why did he leave? He tells her that he loses people, then he loses himself. He starts walking down the road again.

Morgan sees the station wagon the sick guy was in, and sees someone walking in the distance. He follows them, but some zombies, feeding by the side of the road, decide to follow Morgan. Since his leg was injured in the fight, he can’t go too fast, and he falls. They’re on him, but John appears once again, and pikes them in the heads.

Morgan needs to know who it is walking up the road. I guess he’s hoping the guy made it, but that’s a no, and he ends up spearing now-zombie guy in the head with his stick. He says he’ll travel with them until his leg heals, and no asking questions. Al says she’s not going to stop, and he says, no answers then. John says she’s taking him to look for Laura in exchange for more story.

Al sees someone in the middle of the road. Both Morgan and John inform her that they don’t kill. She tells them it’s a great moment to share that information. It’s a girl, hunched over. Al asks if she’s injured, and tells Morgan to get the first aid kit. The girl says there are bad people there, then grabs Al in a headlock. It’s Alicia. Victor, Madison, ♫ and the rest ♫, come out from the forest. Al asks what Alicia’s story is.

And there we have it. Until tomorrow night.

🔎 An Observation…

Andrew Lincoln always looks like a businessman on an interview when he’s a guest on Talking Dead.

🎬 Another Thing I Watched…

Mourning Son is a 2015 documentary about the murder of Dave Navarro’s mother, and how it’s affected him throughout his life. It’s also a glimpse into what an incredible artist he is. I had no idea about his background, but always thought he was a very honest and kind man. When Bill Maher was hosting Politically Incorrect – before he fully turned into a mean curmudgeon, and was just working on it – I saw Dave put him in his place when he was talking out of his ass. I’ve admired him ever since. Even more so after seeing this excellent film.

🎆 Right now, I’m (finally) watching Girl’s Trip, and between this and Star, can confirm that Queen Latifah wears more fabulous wigs than the entire cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta put together.

🛀 Enjoy the Remaining Weekend Like…


April 20, 2018 – No Match for The Jackal, a Golden Apron, a Quote Times Five & Tomorrow


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly tells Sonny there’s nothing physically wrong with her. He says that’s good news, but she says, now he thinks she’s losing her mind. He tells her, he didn’t say that. She says it’s obvious. He doesn’t want to talk about it right now. She tells him that he doesn’t know what’s going on, and then when he does, he dismisses it, thinking she’s making it up. He asks, what other explanation is there?

Griff tells Ava that Julian is conducting a search in the Charles Street area. Ava can’t believe it’s come to this. Her last, best hope is the city’s good will toward her brother, who used to be Public Enemy #1. Griff says the PCPD is looking too, and Ava wonders where Jordan is.

Dante starts to leave the station. Chase says, like or not, they’re partners, and he’s coming too. Dante tells him to keep up and keep quiet.

Avery, who looks like she’s aged a year from last week, tells Mike to wake up. It looks like they’re in a stable.

Peter sees Lulu go into Charlie’s. He sends a text, and follows. He tells her it seems he can’t shake her. She says she was there first, so who can’t shake who? He says, fair enough, and asks if she wants to join him for lunch. She can’t. She’s getting food for Dante’s family; everyone was up all night. Lulu’s phone dings, and she says this could be it. The man claiming to be Henrik just got back to her.

Robert tells Anna that Emma is in the game room with some other kids. Anna says, good. She’d rather Emma not be there when they question people about Faison’s son. He asks what Anna isn’t telling him about this case.

A Swiss banker tells Sam that he’s pleased to meet her in person. She says she can only give him forty-five minutes, and walks in with Jason. Sam says she was advised to transfer some of her assets to Switzerland, even though she’s happy with her Grand Keys bank. He suggests Jason go elsewhere, but she tells him that her mother doesn’t allow her to travel without protection. Just pretend he’s not there.

Ava tells Griff that she doesn’t need more caffeine, so her empty coffee cup has chamomile tea in it. She says the waiting is torture, and thinks about joining the search. Griff says they’ll probably want her there when they find Avery – and they will. She knows he wants her to keep the faith, but sometimes prayer and faith aren’t enough, and it’s too little too late.

Mike wakes up, and asks what going on. Avery asks about the horses. He remembers they were waiting for them to come back. She says she’s hungry, and he says, him too. He bets everyone is wondering where they are. He suggests they find everyone, and tell them where they were hiding.

Anna tells Robert that Henrik might have been an accomplice or a victim, probably both. She knows the kind of havoc Faison can wreak on someone’s mind. He’s probably not fully culpable, and she has medical information he needs. Robert says she’s only talking about Henrik and Faison. She asks who else, and he says, her. He asks her to talk to him, but there’s a knock at the door. It’s a Mrs. Everett Ashton. Anna thanks her for coming. They have questions about a former student. She says she’s sorry, but she can’t answer any of their questions.

Sam tells the banker she wants to diversify her assets between several countries with different banking laws. She gives him a flash drive, saying all of her information was put on it. He needs a security code, but she says she can’t say it out loud. While she’s typing it in, she makes sure he’s distracted by her behind. Or posterior, as Anna might say.

Sonny asks Carly how he couldn’t be worried, when she left her responsibility for Avery to reminisce at a grave? She’s called him out when he’s been off his meds. She tells him that she isn’t on meds, and Dante traced the calls, but he says it could have been someone calling a wrong number. There’s no proof of anything. She says she knows what she saw. She saw the scarf, smelled his cologne, and saw the writing on the flyer. She needs him to believe that she’s not imagining it. He doesn’t think she is; he believes that she believes it happened. She says, but he doesn’t believe it happened. He wants her to make an appointment with Doc after this is over and Avery is home.

Dante and Chase go to the stables, and find Mike and Avery. Dante asks if Avery is okay, and Mike says they must have lost track of time. Dante introduces Avery to Chase, and tells him to take her to the station. Chase makes a big deal about her riding in the police car. Mike wonders what’s going on, and Dante asks if he remembers meeting Chase. Mike says Chase threw him in jail, but Dante says they met another time, and they’re buddies now. Mike wouldn’t go that far. Dante is staying behind to talk to Mike. Dante tells Mike that he gave them a scare; they didn’t know where he was. Mike wishes everyone would keep their noses out of his business. He says where he takes his daughter is for him to decide, and Courtney wanted to see the horses. Dante says she’s not Courtney; she’s his granddaughter Avery. Courtney died a long time ago. Mike insists she was there. Is this man going to make me cry every time he’s in a scene?

Lulu tells Peter that she decided to follow up on the first email. She thinks it’s the real Henrik because it’s the same email address PK Sinclair uses for his correspondence with the publisher. She can trace it and find him.

Anna asks if Mrs. Ashton will hear them out. She says she thought they wanted advice regarding a prospective student, but she sees what’s going on, and it’s not the first time. Robert asks why she thinks they’re there, and she says many past students have become prominent figures, but she makes it a point never to engage with journalists. Anna says they’re not journalists, but Mrs. Ashton says the rule still applies. Anna shows Mrs. Ashton her ID, explaining they’re with the WSB, and a former student is a person of interest.

The banker tells Sam that he her investments are somewhat limited in scope, and they could accommodate her. She says her number one concern is security, and he says theirs is state of the art. Spinelli walks in, and the banker says it’s a closed meeting. Spinelli says they haven’t been properly introduced. He’s The Jackal, and dude and his bank are at his mercy.

Carly can’t believe Sonny wants her to see a shrink. Someone is messing with her, making her doubt herself and making everyone else doubt her. Sonny thinks they should be on the safe side after everything she’s been through. She says he thinks she’s losing her grip on reality. He says it’s not the first time. She had a breakdown before. When they thought Michael was dead, she had a delayed reaction. She realized she needed help, got it, and got better. He doesn’t want her to have to go away again. He needs her there in the present when Mike gets home. Her phone rings, and Carly says, thank God. She tells Sonny they’ve found Avery, and she’s okay.

Griff knows hope and faith aren’t in Ava’s tool chest. She says that’s putting it mildly. He starts to talk about when you lose hope, but Ava hears Chase coming back. She runs out of the room, and picks up Avery. Avery tells her that grandpa took her to see the horses.

Dante asks if Mike remembers the nice chat they had when he was arrested. He told Dante stories about the old neighborhood and they talked about the Yankees. They agree that the only reason there are other teams, is so the Yankees can beat them. Mike told Dante one of his first jobs had been cleaning stables at a racetrack. Mike says he admired the horses. They weren’t the Rockefellers, so cleaning up was the only way to get close to them. Courtney loves horses too, but they can’t afford lessons, so he should take her someday. Dante says that sounds like a great idea, but he looks tired and pained. Mike asks to go home.

Anna tells Mrs. Ashton that they think he attended school, and was a member of the Julius Caesar cast. Robert asks to talk to his colleague for a moment. He asks what Anna thinks she’s doing now? Anna says now Mrs. Ashton will answer their questions, but he’s concerned she’ll blab. Anna says after all these years, he should trust that she knows what she’s doing. He says he does, so he knows she’s off her game. This case starting to get under her skin.

Sam asks the banker, what was he saying about the security? He wonders how Spinelli got past the facial recognition, and Spinelli says state of the art is no match for him. He tells the banker the silent alarm has been deactivated, but will look like it’s still on. The banker says they’ve never been robbed, and Sam says, until today.

Spinelli sits at the computer and taps away, saying no matter how money is hidden, it still leaves a trail. He sees that the banker has done a lot of embezzling. He’s sure the people he’s stolen from will be happy their money has been found in his personal accounts. The banker says he can’t. Spinelli says he can and will, unless the banker cooperates.

Anna tells Robert that she’s a seasoned operative. She’s had years of experience, and knows what she’s doing. Mrs. Ashton asks if they’re playing good cop/bad cop. They’re both so polite, she can’t tell. Robert says he’s the good one. Anna says they were trying to find a loophole, so they could share more information with her, but they can’t. They can tell her that they don’t mean any harm, and aren’t out to ruin anyone’s name, but they need to question the former student on an urgent matter. She believes he was using another name at the school, and asks if Mrs. Ashton remembers Henri Françoise. Mrs. Ashton says she wishes they’d said so at the beginning. She’s certain he’s done nothing wrong. Anna shows her the photo, and asks which one he is.

Peter asks Lulu if she can really trace the email. She tells him when Spinelli tried, he hit a dead end, so it’s probably untraceable. He asks what her next move is, and she says he wants to meet up with her to share his side of the story. She’s going to take him up on it.

Sonny and Carly arrive at the station. Griff says checked he checked Avery out, and she’s fine; just a little dehydrated. Sonny asks where his dad is, and Chase says Dante stayed behind with him. Ava says they were apparently there all night, and they need to have a discussion about his father. Carly takes Avery to get some water. Ava tells Sonny that she was willing to look the other way when Mike vandalized the gallery. Sonny says she blackmailed him into letting Avery spend the night. She says they need to make sure Mike doesn’t do something like this again. Sonny asks what she’s suggesting. Mike walks in.

Spinelli says The Jackal has the banker’s information – the money he embezzled, how he spent it, and where he hid it. He sees that he also did some trophy hunting and killed two endangered species. Sam says that’s disgusting, and Spinelli makes an anonymous contribution to the World Wildlife Fund out of the banker’s account. He wonders what other charities could benefit. Jason reminds him that they still need to find Henrik.

Mrs. Ashton points out Henri. She says he was a handsome young man, always shy about being photographed. Anna wonders why a shy boy would take on such significant role, and Mrs. Ashton says the theater was safe for him, and where he was most comfortable to emerge from his shell. She thinks he relished becoming someone else, with a new name and identity other than his own.

Peter asks if Lulu is having second thoughts. She wants to meet with Henrik, but after what happened last time, doesn’t know if she should go by herself. He’s not wanted for a crime, but he is a person of interest. She thinks she should bring in the PCPD sooner rather than later. Peter asks what’s wrong with that, and she says she hasn’t told her husband what she’s up to yet.

Mike wants to go home. Chase says they’re good on their end. Avery says something about the horses, and Mike says he and Courtney waited all night. Ava asks who’s Courtney, and Carly explains she was Mike’s daughter and Spencer’s mother. Ava realizes Mike thinks Avery is his daughter. Dante gently explains again that it’s Avery, and Mike says, oh, right. He wants to lie down, and Sonny tells Avery let’s go home. Ava says, absolutely not.

Spinelli sees that the payment for the book has already been deposited, and sent by a wire transfer to Iceland. He says Henrik is very thorough in covering his tracks. He says Henrik’s picture is there, and everyone gathers around the computer. Sam looks puzzled.

Mrs. Ashton says, If she had to guess, Henri enjoyed being other people because his home life was troubled. He dreaded going home, and begged them to let him stay. His father had no use for him, and she could never rid herself of the impression that he would have been happier with a loving mother. She says he was a special boy. They thank her for her time. Anna asks if she might have any class photos, but Mrs. Ashton says she never held on to those. Anna asks if there’s anything physical she remembers that set him apart; something that would have distinguished him. Mrs. Ashton says he had the most emotive brown eyes, which was what made him so effective on stage.

Peter is surprised by Lulu, and not in a good way. She never struck him as someone who needed to ask permission. She says she doesn’t need permission, but wants to make him aware and persuade him. She’s not sure now is the right time with Avery missing, but she’s concerned Henrik could go underground. Who knows when she’d get another shot? Her food comes, and she thanks Peter. He tells her to be careful. Henrik could be more dangerous than she’s giving him credit for.

Anna tells Robert the meeting was productive. Now they know he has brown eyes; that narrows it down. Robert says, that’s if he’s the same person. She’s sure he is. He says it’s time to tell him the truth. What is the case really about? She tells him if he wants to help, help; if not, don’t. He asks what the child really means to her.

Ava says Avery is not going home with the man who kidnapped her. Chase says he’ll question him, but Sonny says his father didn’t kidnap Avery. Ava says she was gone overnight; what else would you call it? Griff understands, and shares her concern, but Mike didn’t mean any harm. She knows Mike isn’t well. Ava says that’s her point. Avery isn’t spending one more night under the same roof. Avery is coming home with her.

She and Sonny have a stare down.

On Monday, Robert realizes Henrik is Anna’s son, Michael tells Nelle he’s optimistic, and Spinelli tells Sam if she touches something they’re dead.

🍳 I watched the second hour of MasterChef Junior, and unfortunately missed the eggs Benedict challenge. Eggs Benedict is one of my favorite things in the world, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have learned anything, unless there’s a new way to order them at a restaurant. I came in at the tail end of the next challenge, where eight-year-old Avery’s superb cake won her immunity. While she went to the balcony, chocolate chips literally rained down on the rest of the junior contestants, since the next challenge was chocolate oriented. A golden apron was the prize, as well as a definite spot in the finals. Avery was given the option to forego her immunity and join in, but she thought better safe than sorry. Mikey got the gold, while Anthony and Cade were out for bad cream puffs and overpowering cocoa, respectively. Anthony told us that he was going to keep his head up and keep on cookin’. Well said. Next time, the young chefs will be cooking for now older alumni.

👄 Quotes of the Week

Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you. – Welcome to Night ValeJoseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

Looking at you is like looking at the Grand Canyon of ineptitude. – Dave Harken (Kevin Spacey), Horrible Bosses 2

I already have more filler than a two-hour Dateline. – Angie, minor character on 2 Broke Girls (S:5, E:21)

Anger finally only ages a person.Elsa Lanchester

The worst is not. So long as we can say “This is the worst.”. – Edgar, King Lear, William Shakespeare (One of my favorite quotes!)

💀 Tomorrow, a special mini-cap of last week’s The Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead. Just in case you’ve been under a rock, lost your internet like me, or just want to brush up before Sunday night. I watched them tonight, but still have to edit. Unfortunately, that pesky thing called sleep is getting in my way.



April 19, 2018 – Ava Pleads for Avery, Patricia Throws Cameran a Shower, Another Charm, Good-by Summer & Almost


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

In the interrogation room, Ava makes an impassioned plea on camera for Avery’s return. She wonders if she deserved Avery. She says grace is not earned, but a gift, and Avery is a source of grace. If anyone has seen it in the eyes of a child, she begs them to help. She breaks down crying. Sonny sits next to her, and begs in his own way, describing Avery, and saying she’s with her grandfather. He shows them a picture of Mike, and says his father’s memory is fading, and his little girl’s life is just starting. Please help find them.

Drew says every platform Aurora can reach will broadcast it. Ava thanks him, and he says they’ll find them. Sonny tells Ava whatever they feel about each other goes out the window until Avery is found. She wonders if he’s telling her or himself.

Julian tells Kim that Ava must be desperate to cooperate with Sonny. He punched a wall earlier, and Kim says, he must be hurting. He says he needs to be with Ava, but Kim wants to tape his hand first.

Oscar helps Josslyn into the hospital. She insists she just rolled her ankle, and her coach is overreacting. He tells her that she’s super competitive. She says her baby sister being missing is horrible. She hates that they’re treating Mike like a felon, but he could take her somewhere dangerous, and she hates that more. The only time she’s not thinking about everything is when she’s playing. Oscar wishes he could help her, and she says he is.

Franco can’t imagine what Avery’s parents are going through. Elizabeth asks what about him? He says whatever he’s feeling doesn’t compare, but Elizabeth says that doesn’t mean it’s any less valid. He’s glad to be under the same roof with her and her boys, and for a minute, the world was perfect. But the world isn’t perfect, and bad happens all the time. The reality is, that it never stops.

A nurse brings Carly’s follow-up test results to Griff. He looks worried, like always.

Carly tells Sonny the FBI says it doesn’t appear mob related, and Sonny says he already told them that. Griff calls, and tells Carly that he has the test results. He’d like to go over them together. She tells Sonny that she can go over by herself. He says he’ll go home, touch base with Max, and do what he can. She says, don’t worry, but he says that’s not going to happen. Drew offers to take Carly to the hospital, since he’s going there anyway. Ava says she’s not going anywhere until her little girl is back.

Kim suggests Julian take it out on a bag at the gym; she hears Drew is a great coach. Julian thinks he could teach Drew a thing or two he learned on the streets. He suggests she still has feelings for Drew, and he’s single now, but she says she’s right where she wants to be. He thinks he needs more convincing, and she kisses him, but unfortunately has to go to work.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he’s happy about everything, but it’s time to move on and go back to work. She tells him there’s no rush, but he says he’s ready. Instead of going to the art therapy studio, he looks in Betsy’s room.

Elizabeth sees Drew, and tells him she saw the broadcast. He says what good is owning a media company if he can’t help when it’s needed?

Carly tells Griff to give it to her straight. He tells her to sit down, and she says it doesn’t sound good. He’s sorry for the nightmare she’s dealing with, and she says that’s why she wants to get the results out of the way. Griff tells her there’s nothing physically wrong, and she’s pretty sure she told him that. He’d like her to schedule an appointment with Doc. He wants to rule out every possibility as a cause for the incidents she’s described. She insists they’re real, and he just confirmed that there’s nothing physically wrong. She says there’s nothing left to discuss, and thanks him.

Chase and Dante arrive at Sonny’s. Sonny asks if there are any leads, but Dante says nothing yet. Chase asks Sonny to have Carly call him to follow up on the cemetery and parking garage. Sonny doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Ava looks at pictures of Avery. She swears to find her, and not let anyone take her away again. Julian arrives, and asks how she’s holding up. She says she’s a wreck. He tells her that she did good on TV. He gives her an empty coffee cup (sigh – not only that, they never act like it’s hot either), and she hugs him.

Elizabeth asks Drew if he’s friends with Carly again, and he says they’ve put their differences aside. Elizabeth says they could all use some coming together after surviving the earthquake. He asks about Jake, and she says it helps having Franco back home. He asks how Franco is doing, and she says, okay. He’s back in the art therapy room.

Franco goes into Betsy’s room. He tells her not to talk; every word is a lie. He can’t understand, and doesn’t want to. How could she choose her boyfriend over her sons? She turned blind eye, and allowed it to happen over and over; she didn’t care about them. Betsy says she sent Drew away to keep him safe, and Franco says, to keep her secret safe. She sent him to an orphanage, and made it easy for Jim. When Jim was done, he moved on. Franco has a list of names; people she could have helped if she’d spoken up. He thought it was his fault. Her lies made him doubt and hate himself. Is she happy about that? Is she proud of her little boy now?

Betsy says she doesn’t blame him for hating her, but it can’t be more than hates herself. Franco says she’s just as much a victim as the rest of them. Jim would have killed him if she hadn’t told Drew the truth. He tells her that Jim can’t hurt them anymore; they’re safe. Everything he did died with him. Franco is only fantasizing, and stands in front of Betsy’s bed, watching her sleep. He kneels by her bedside, and hesitantly touches her hair.

Drew is happy that Franco is conquering his demons. Elizabeth says it shouldn’t have happened. She doesn’t get how Betsy let Jim in and didn’t protect her boys from the onset. Drew says Jim was a manipulator, and she was fragile. She didn’t know what was going on. Elizabeth thinks she must have sensed it, and the child comes first. How could she be so complacent? Drew says Elizabeth is a  good mom, but that’s not always the case. She says she might be a good mom, but she’s being a bad employee, and goes back to work.

Drew sees Kim, who says she’s been worried. Oscar was upset about the shooting, but doing fine. Oscar is proud of him for saving Franco, and thinks he’s a hero. Drew says that’s not the case, but Kim says try telling that to his son.

Josslyn wonders what’s taking so long. Oscar says he could text his mom, but Josslyn says she could text her grandmother – the chief of staff. Oscar admits her connection is better than his. He guesses it helps to be related to half the town. She says, he is too, but he tells her that they’re just getting to know him. Her relatives would crawl over glass for her. She asks if he’s calling her spoiled, and he says, privileged. Spoiled kids are entitled, and think they deserve better; that they deserve everything. She’s not like that. She says she loves being first, but he says she works for it. She’s lucky, smart, strong, beautiful, and rich, but she doesn’t think she’s superior. She goes out of her way to help people, and stand up for outsiders. He compares her to Wonder Woman. She has all these special gifts, but uses them for good. She wishes she was Wonder Woman. She would use her superpowers to find Avery and Mike.

Julian tells Ava that he’s sure Avery is safe with Mike. She’s concerned that a rival family might have taken advantage. The Feds said that wasn’t the case, but what if they were snatched in a vendetta against Sonny? It’s clear Sonny is genuinely concerned; she’s not questioning that, but wonders if he’s feeling guilty because he believes his business practices were involved. Julian thinks she should ask herself the same question. What if Avery was taken because of her past – or his? Just because they left that world, doesn’t mean their enemies forgot. She’s tried to put it behind her, but what if the past is catching up, and she’s paying the price? Ava starts to leave, but runs into Griff at the door. She says she’s worked so hard to overcome the past, but what if it’s catching up? What if Avery was taken by one of her enemies?

When Carly gets back home, Sonny says Chase was telling him an interesting story that starts in a parking lot and ends in a cemetery. Dante says it sounds like a horror movie, but he’s not familiar with it. He leaves, and Sonny says since Carly didn’t want to tell him, he had to find out from a cop that the reason she didn’t meet up with Avery and Mike is that she was searching for ghost. She tells him to stop acting like she abandoned them. She called Pilar. Sonny says if she’d been there, they wouldn’t be missing. She says what if someone was reaching about Morgan? Chase must have forgotten to tell him the part about the note. He says Chase told him that nothing was written on the flyer. She says she saw it, and smelled Morgan’s cologne at the grave. Sonny wants to believe her with all his heart. He asks her what Griff said.

Griff tells Ava it’s not her fault, but she says, what if it is? Julian says he might have planted that idea when he threw out the possibility. Ava says she did consider it; she just didn’t say it. Julian says as usual, he did more harm than good. He starts to leave, but Griff says his sister needs him. Griff got another doctor to cover his shift; his place is with Ava. She says she can’t sit doing nothing, and he suggests they pray.

Josslyn asks Oscar if he’s sure he wants a family; he’s had a firsthand look at the downside. He says when there’s more to love, there’s more to lose, but it’s worth it in the end. It was just him and his mom for a long time. Now his dad is in the picture, and who knows, maybe more than that. She asks what he means, and Oscar says his mom finally admitted she still has feelings for him.

Drew tells Kim that sons look up to their fathers, but it’s probably best if Oscar looks at him like a regular guy. Kim says Drew can break the news to him. Oscar misses him. He suggests the go out for a burger, but she says he should come over this week, and she’ll make her famous chili. Back in the day, she told him it was homemade, but she really just opened a can. He calls her a chili imposter, and she says her culinary skills have improved; she can make it from scratch now. He tells her that he did take something away from the experience. Not everyone gets the best of parents. He was just talking to Elizabeth about what makes a great mom. He says Kim is a great mom, and raised a great kid. He thanks her for that.

Elizabeth finds Franco sitting on the floor in an office. He says he didn’t make it to art therapy. He saw Betsy instead. His intention was to dump all of his pent-up rage on her, and blame her for every terrible thing. But he looked at her, all helpless, and couldn’t do it. He didn’t have the heart. Elizabeth says she never understood that expression. It doesn’t apply. He has a complicated, contradictory, compassionate heart. He has every reason to unload on his mom. That he didn’t, proves who he is inside. He’s kind, forgiving, and strong. He needs to heal, and she’s there to help as much as he’ll let her. He says if he makes it at all, it will be because of her. She sits on the floor, in his arms.

Franco says he has the list. Elizabeth asks if he knows what he’s doing with it. He says he’d like to make contact, if he can find the courage. Elizabeth thinks he’ll find a way, and not only help them, but help himself.

Kim tells Drew not to thank her for loving Oscar. He’s the joy of her life, and she’s grateful for him. Drew says he’s a lucky kid, which makes him a lucky dad. She thinks they should try to spend more time together. Maybe all three of them. They are a family. Drew says it’s a deal.

Ava thinks prayers would be more effective from Griff alone, but he says anyone can pray. Julian says, why not? It can’t hurt. Griff takes their hands, and they form a prayer circle.

At the station, Chase asks Dante what’s unclear about it being a hot line, not a support line? He hopes Dante has more luck. Dante suddenly says he thinks he knows where Mike took Avery.

Carly tells Sonny the test results were negative. There’s nothing physically wrong with her. He says that’s good news, but she says, not really. Since he thinks she’s losing her mind.

Tomorrow, Dante doesn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, Lulu says Henrik replied to her, and Robert wants to know what Anna isn’t telling him.

Southern Charm

Thomas says at long last he has a real woman with a real woman’s heart. Then asks Ashley to make breakfast.

Cameran calls Patricia. She’s feeling large and not in charge. Patricia vaguely remembers, and wasn’t enthusiastic about repeating the process. She wants to do a co-ed baby shower-slash-party. Cameran says she’ll get a list, but Patricia says it should be her call, since she’s giving the party. Clearly, for all her talk about etiquette, Patricia doesn’t know how a shower works. In her interview, Cameran is afraid she’s going to leave Kathryn off the guest list. Patricia tells her to just show up.

Kathryn has the kids. She says they spend a lot of time bonding. Saint was taken from her at six months and it hurt, but it took going to rehab for her to get her priorities straight. The kids mess with Play-Doh, my nemesis. Probably yours too, if you’ve ever tried to get it out of the treads of your shoe. Kathryn says it’s hard. Even though she’s moving toward joint custody, it’s heartbreak every other weekend. It’s been a long journey, but things are settling into place and moving in the right direction. She says it feels like chapter three.

Thomas makes eggs. In his interview, he jokes about mixing in Plan-B just in case, once more confirming what a creeper he is. He asks if Ashley has ever had a pregnancy scare. She says she’s had what if thoughts. She has a fertility app on her phone, and can see when the window is. It’s the birth control she’s using. Oh Lord, no comment. She says, if it happens, it would be a blessing, but she doesn’t want to be a single parent. She tells him that a baby makes a good relationship great, and a bad relationship worse. Thomas says he could have written that. That’s if he could write. In his interview, he says Ashley would be a wonderful mother, but he wants to know more about her. He cares too much about himself (key word) and his kids to make a wrong decision. They get busy, because no wrong decision can be made using basically no birth control at all. He says, fade to black, which I would find funny if he didn’t make me so ill. However, he is not as bad as Jax. No one is as bad as Jax.

Kathy, the childbirth educator, visits Cameran. Cameran hasn’t been to any classes or read What to Expect. Whitney is pinch-hitting for her husband. Kathy tells her to visualize the perfect experience, and Cameran says she’d pick her baby off a tree. She’s concerned about her vagina being all messed up, and still ending up needing a C-section. Up until now, she’s had control of all aspects of her life, and she’s been in denial. Obviously, if her first childbirth class is five minutes before delivery. Whitney asks if she’ll get an epindurmal [sic], and says he’d need an Elvis dose. Kathy wants Cameran to learn squatting for a certain amount of time. In her interview, Cameran says when she finds herself overwhelmed, she tells herself that cavewomen did this with nothing. If they can do it, she can. They go though some other conditioning exercises. Like the catching-the-baby-like-a-football move.

Kathy leaves, and they talk about the shower. Whitney says the theme is super chic, waspy leisurewear from the 60s. Cameran tells him to tell Patricia that she wants to include everyone. Whitney doubts she’ll want Kathryn in the house, but everyone else is welcome.

Austen meets Craig at an outside bar. Austen is friends with all the bartenders because of the business he’s in; it’s like being low-key famous. Austen asks if Craig is cool with checking out babes and not feeling guilty. He’s single, and it might take a minute to regroup. Craig thinks life would be easier if he was gay, and Austen asks if Craig needs to tell him something. Shep joins them. He asks if they’ve recovered for the party, and says he didn’t remember the end. He was browned out. They get some magnificent looking nachos.

Craig says at the end of the party, he got the nice Naomie, not the mean one. Austen says they clearly still care about each other, but if they talk every day, they’ll never get over it. In his interview, Craig says Naomie going back and forth is a mind-f*ck. Shep says he’s rooting for Craig.

Chelsea joins Cameran for her ultrasound. In her interview, Chelsea says she’s known Cameran through every stage of her life, and it’s been fun. Cameran says it’s freaky to see your stomach move when it’s not gas. I think it would be freaky to see my stomach move even if it was gas. Since she’s about ready to pop, you can see the entire baby in detail. Cameran says she hasn’t cried yet, and Chelsea starts to cry. In her interview, Cameran says she thinks it hasn’t hit her yet. She’s not going to believe it until she sees it. She tells Baby Palmer that she loves her, and will see her soon.

Chelsea thinks she and Austen are in a good place. She backed up when he started dating, but it’s better now. Cameran thinks he’s still attracted to her. She asks if they still smooch, but that’s a no. Chelsea says her problem isn’t him, but his lifestyle. He parties all night, and sleeps all day. She can’t be with someone like that, and wonders what it is with this town and the men.

Austen says his fun employment period won’t last forever. He has nothing to fall back on, and is feeling the pressure, hearing his mother’s voice in his head. He wants to stay in the beer industry, but was nervous that his passion would be killed once it became the daily grind. He talks to a bartender about one of their beers. In his interview, he says he’s tired of peddling someone else’s wares. It’s time for him to do his own thing, but he has to figure out what it is.

Thomas calls his dad. He’s almost 91, and doing great. Thomas says he’s quick as a lark, mixing his similes. They discuss a table that Thomas wants. Arthur grew up during the Depression, and Thomas is afraid to tell him what he spends on anything. Arthur tells him Ashley is too nice for him. He wants Thomas to have a country girl even though Thomas’s mother was from San Francisco. Arthur says he trained her, and Thomas wants his notes.

Kathryn visits Craig. In his interview, Craig says they’ve always connected on some strange level. She’s brings him a spice set as a housewarming gift, and he shows her around his new place. In his interview, he says he and Kathryn don’t judge; it’s kind of a safe place. He shows her some things he’s sewn and embroidered. All he took was the sewing machine, and he needed an outlet. Now he can make his pillows as much as he wants without criticism. He asks if she’s going to Cameran’s shower, but she says no. In her interview, she says would have been surprised if she’d been invited.

Craig asks what she thinks about Thomas and Ashley. Kathryn feels badly for Thomas, and thinks he’s being played. Craig thinks Ashley is a hopeless romantic, but Kathryn doesn’t buy it. She tells Craig when they were in New York, she and Thomas hooked up, and he tried to tell her that he wanted another baby. Craig says at least she didn’t get pregnant this time.

Patricia’s theory of having a party is to use things you already have. She explains that Slim Aarons is the theme. He’s a famous photographer who chronicled social life in Palm Beach in the 60s. She tells the caterer that the spread is amazing, and it is.

Chelsea asks her cute Pittie dog which dress he likes. Craig works on some last-minute sewing. Naomie’s roommate Wilton is also her gay bey. They have champagne while getting ready. They talk about Cameran still looking skinny and beautiful. Naomie tells Wilton that Kathryn isn’t coming because the guest list was up to Patricia.

Omg, that house. Chelsea arrives first, and says it looks awesome; Patricia doesn’t skip the detail. I love Whitney’s paisley sportscoat. He thinks it looks a bit Thurston Howell III. I don’t remember him as ever wearing paisley. Maybe an ascot. Chelsea says Austen looks like Easter Sunday on drugs in his flowered jacket. Craig comes bearing pillows. Patricia doesn’t understand why he’s not a lawyer, but if making pillows makes him happy, go for it. We find out that Thomas likes a tiny heinie, which I did not need to know. I gasp when Craig totally misses his mouth with his champagne glass. And the party just started.

Cameran arrives with friend Eddie. She says it’s not a typical baby shower; it’s a typical Patricia baby shower, and beyond fabulous. I’m loving the colors. Cameran says the angel ice sculpture is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, but I wouldn’t go that far. Naomie is sad Kathryn isn’t there, and wants to say something. Chelsea thinks all it takes is one time for redemption.

Naomie asks to talk to Patricia in private. She tells Patricia that she respects her feelings about Kathryn, but she’s been spending time with her, and Patricia is like, is that the doorbell? and excuses herself. In her interview, Patricia doesn’t think it’s appropriate to bring grievances and issues to light at someone else’s house. Maybe not, but that was pretty rude, since she made a beeline for the couch, not even pretending to greet a guest. I like Patricia in a lot of ways, but this is not one of them.

Cameran demands cake. It’s a baby in a bathtub. Oh wait, is it coming out of… yes, I believe it is. Cameran loves it, and says that’s why she’s a drop-out debutante. I’m kind of surprised.

Naomie tells Craig that she just had an awkward interaction with Patricia. She respectfully approached her regarding Kathryn, trying to say she was doing better, and Patricia cut her off. Patricia thinks Kathryn is nothing, and that’s what bothers her. Craig says rehab helped Kathryn grow; he thinks they’ve all grown. He tells her that he’s gotten a lot done lately. Somehow, Naomie interprets this as him saying he’s done more in the past two months than in their entire time together, and asks why he thinks that. He says that’s a loaded question, and also an impossibility timewise. She says she’s not a mean person, but she trusted him, and he let her down. Why does she keep rehashing this? He says he’s the same person she traveled the world with. She’s the one who changed, and decided she didn’t agree with his lifestyle. She says she wanted to do something with her life. He sits home and sews, and pretends to do things. He asks what’s wrong with his sewing? He tells her that he owns two homes, so tell him that he’s a big loser at twenty-nine. Geez, I didn’t own a home until I was almost forty, and it’s doubtful I’ll ever own two. He says a year and a half in, she changed. She says she got her sh*t together, unlike him. He says she’s still focused on outward appearance. Putting on my Dr. Phil hat – or bald cap, as it were – the problem is, she wants to change him and that’s not going to happen. He’s not what she wants, and she won’t let it go. Or maybe he is what she wants, and she can’t reconcile it with what she thinks she should want. All I know for sure, is that I’d have him slaving away at that machine, and I’d be wearing custom-made clothing. And probably selling it too.

Cameran opens the gifts. Craig made her some kind of monkey lovey, and she dies laughing. She gets lots of cute stuff, and thanks everyone for their sweet presents.

JD (bleh) comes in with Elizabeth. Naomie is like, wtf? She feels stupid after what Elizabeth said to her, and wonders how Elizabeth can walk in with him and be smiling. Whitney says there’s something there Naomie must not know about. Shep tells her keeping up appearances is important in the South. She doesn’t know how to greet them, and Shep says just say hello, smile, give Elizabeth a hug, and a nod to JD. She does, but gives JD a half-hug. In her interview, Naomie says he was smirking at her like, ha-ha, I’m with her; it’s palpable. She knows he feels like he’s winning. Chelsea says she did her due diligence as a friend; it’s not her fight anymore. Shep and Whitney ditch the conversation.

JD and Elizabeth leave. Elizabeth says, love you guys, and Naomie gives her the finger. HAHAHA!

Next time, Ashley and Kathryn talk, Chelsea is worried she’ll never be in settle down mode, and Naomie says Craig is all talk and no action. For the love of all that’s holy, leave that guy alone already. Peyton

🍹 I caught some of Southern Charm New Orleans, and I think it’s worth a look. It has a very different vibe from Charleston, and I like it. My sister lived in NOLA for many years, and I was always sorry I never had a chance to visit her – for the food and music alone. Unfortunately, she got displaced by Katrina. The city’s history and culture are a contrast to South Carolina, and this group is a little more sophisticated. Confirmation on that remains to be seen, since it was only the first episode. The houses are huge and fabulous, and best of all, there are dogs. Little dogs.

⛵ There was a Summer House reunion, replacing Watch What Happens Live tonight. It was also what I call a cheap reunion, since they used the clubhouse set. It was the same sh*t, different day, with the cast doing nothing but arguing and pointing fingers. Not much of a change from the Housewives reunions, but cramped, and without the ballgowns. Kyle sat through much of it with his mouth hanging open, and the takeaway point was that they know how to party. No. Just no.

🚣 You’re Almost There…