April 24, 2018 – Ava on the Warpath, Reunion Hell Begins for Beverly Hills & a Little Ramble


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny says Ava has Avery, Mike is in jail, and he did nothing. Dante says he did what Diane advised, and once Mike is out on bail, he can take it from there. Sonny asks if can take his dad home, but Dante says they have a problem.

Ava talks to Scotty about Avery, while he plays with a Fisher-Price learning toy. He says the toy has him flummoxed; Avery must take after her mom – she’s sharp. Ava hopes she can influence Avery more now that they’re under the same roof. Scotty says she’s holding all the aces. He thinks she could get every other weekend, or even joint custody. She says she has no interest working out a deal. She’s going to fight for full custody, and God help anyone who gets in her way. Griff overhears.

At the hospital, Nelle tells Michael that he doesn’t have to go to every check-up; he has more important things to do. He says nothing is more important than the baby. They won’t have many more appointments before the baby is in their lives. She’s glad the crisis was averted, so he can get some rest.

David tells Kiki that she’s late. She says she’s on time; rounds start at 9 am. He says early is on time; on time is late. It’s cliché, but she’d do well to remember it. He says they’re going on rounds, not out to a club, and tells her to pull her hair back.

On the phone at the station, Jordan says the doctor can contact her on her cell. Curtis comes in with coffee. He noticed she didn’t have breakfast, and thought he’d come through with sustenance. She gets a bonus, since he’s eating with her. She says she’s behind in paperwork, and he asks if her sudden reluctance has to do with the phone call he walked in on.

Sonny says Mike is sick, and didn’t know what he was doing, but Dante says Judge Lasser isn’t a huge fan of using dementia as an excuse. Sonny says he has the medical records. Dante says a few years back, the system was burned by organized crime using it, and they’re gun-shy about it being a mitigating factor. Sonny says it’s because Mike is connected to him. Dante says he’s doing what he can, and Diane is arguing the case.

Ava thinks it’s a bit of a tall order to be left caring for a senile old man. Scotty says Ava has all the leverage, but that doesn’t mean Sonny will just hand Avery over. She says she’s offering a trade; she gets custody, and Sonny gets to take care of his father. Scotty says she’ll have to prove he was a detriment Avery and society, and needs to be put in a facility. Ava says, if that’s way it is, so be it.

Michael tells Nelle about recording Mike. He wanted to record him for Avery and the baby before he slips away, but it looks like he’s already gone. It’s not the first time he’s mistaken Avery for Courtney; he’s already receding into the past. How long before they’re all strangers? Nelle takes his hand, saying she’s sorry about what he’s been through. She wishes she could have done more, but didn’t want to provoke his mom. Michael says she’ll have to give his mom time before she takes Nelle’s actions at face value. Nelle thinks about spraying the cologne at Morgan’s grave, and she’s wearing the cutest little earrings.

Curtis doesn’t mean to pry, but tells Jordan there’s a good reason he makes a lot of money as a PI. He picks up on stuff, and she couldn’t get off the phone fast enough. He doesn’t want to get up in her business, but he’s here for her. She tells him sometimes a good PI makes a connection where there isn’t one. She takes out the food. Her phone rings, but she ignores it.

Sonny tells Carly that he doesn’t understand why; it was an open and shut case. Now Mike is in jail like a criminal. Carly tells him that she made an appointment with Doc. She wants him to have peace of mind, but she thought Mike would be home by now. He tells her to go anyway. Carly’s highlights used to make her look like she was going grey; now they look like she can’t decide on her hair color.

Ava tells Scotty she’s willing to do what takes for her to win; is he with her? He says as long as the check clears. Griff comes out, and asks if he and Ava can talk. Scotty leaves, and Ava tells Griff how wonderful it was bringing Avery to preschool. He asks if she’s sure it’s the  wisest tactic to go for full custody. She tells him that she sympathizes, but Mike’s illness isn’t an excuse for kidnapping. Griff says he did nothing intentional, but she doesn’t care. Avery was missing overnight. He says now she’s home and unharmed; penalizing Mike just makes it worse for Sonny’s family. She says she’s done worse things, and so has Sonny and his family. She doesn’t give a damn.

David examines a kid who was hit in the head playing sports, and asks for an MRI. He tells Deanna not to leave him unattended until he’s in the clear. He tells Kiki there’s no sign of concussion, yet he sent the kid to imaging. What is he concerned about? She thought she was just shadowing, but he says there’s no point in just following him around. He says she’s in an overcrowded ER; what’s her call? She stumbles for her words, and he says, time’s up. The patient lost consciousness and isn’t coming back. She just killed the patient.

Curtis says he can step outside, but Jordan says it’s fine. She answers the phone, and asks for her records and x-rays to be transferred to GH. He says she’s been in Port Charles four years, and she’s completely avoided a physical. She tells him she didn’t have time. He says she’d never voluntarily go to a doctor, but she says she has to led by example. He doesn’t buy it, and she says it’s not a big deal. She decided to get her cough checked out. The doctor ordered an x-ray, and they found something; a spot on her lung.

Carly sits in Doc’s office, but says it’s a mistake; she’s sorry to waste his time, but she’ll pay for the appointment. He says second thoughts are normal, but since she paid for the hour, what’s on her mind? She tells him she only made the appointment to put Sonny’s mind at ease. He has a lot going on with Mike and Avery. He asks how that’s going, and she tells him they were found and they’re safe. Why does Sonny want her to see him? She says some things have been happening, and he tells her to start at the beginning.

Nelle tells Michael that she knows Carly is going through a hard time, and the last thing she wants is to make it worse. They’ll  all have to be on the same side when the baby is born. He says the hard times are just beginning. There’s a battle brewing, and the custody fight for Avery is going to escalate and get ugly. Nelle has to get to work, and Michael asks her if she has any sway with her boss. Maybe she could float the idea of shared custody. He knows Ava has been a criminal and a killer, but also knows she wants the best for her child. If it prevents a prolonged fight, Sonny might take the best of two bad options. Nelle says they hate each other, but he says they love Avery. They have a child in common, and in her interest, it might be surprising what they can look past. Nelle can’t promise anything, but will see what she can do.

Curtis asks Jordan what that means. She says it could be something she was born with. As long as it hasn’t grown, it’s probably benign. She’s having the records sent, so they can compare the past with the present. She’d broken some ribs, and they took an x-ray. The doctor wants to follow-up to see if there’s a new spot or if it’s grown. She’s not entertaining any possibilities until she has to. Curtis gets on his phone, and she tells him to stop. He says he needs to find out somewhere, and she tells him that he can’t believe everything he reads on the internet. He looks at his phone, and says, lung cancer. Yeah, years ago, I had to take the medical dictionary away from my husband, but yay, now we have the internet.

Griff asks Ava to try to have compassion. She tells him that Sonny and Carly get a sick pleasure in keeping Avery from her. He says, in their minds, she’s responsible for Morgan’s death. He has sympathy for both sides, and thinks Sonny might be willing to compromise. Ava says she’s been tortured by fire, the town hating her, and Kiki being hot and cold. She’s done with compromises. It’s the first time in a long time that she’s had the advantage, and she’s using it to have Avery stay permanently.

Carly tells Doc the things happening in the house were just like the scarf. She’s the only one who saw anything, except the photo. Sonny saw it, but thought it was damaged from the earthquake. She knows someone put it there. He says he’s not in a position to authenticate her claims, but he’s there to deal with the experiences she’s having, regardless of the cause. They can explore it in further sessions. Carly asks if he can’t just sign off on her sanity today. He says one thing she can do is try a medication; it’s anti-anxiety only. Sessions don’t exist in a vacuum, and what she’s described sounds like she’s been extra stressed over several months. The standard procedure is to review the patient’s previous records, and he sees she had a nervous breakdown. Carly insists she’s not having one. Doc doesn’t think so, but there’s no reason not to do what they can to keep it from happening again.

Outside Ava’s door, Nelle hears Griff. He tells Ava he understands, but she’s repeatedly said she wants to be a better person. Is she willing to risk Mike? She says she’s not risking her daughter’s safety. He doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a parent. He says he has empathy; does she? She says Avery isn’t safe with Mike. She’s not safe at Sonny’s. She tells him it’s easier to be a saint when you’re living in paradise. She lives in the real world. He asks her not to do anything until they talk more. He opens the door, and Nelle is there. He leaves, and Nelle comes in. Ava asks how much she heard, and she says, enough; it was intense. Ava says he doesn’t understand that Sonny will be as ruthless as she is. Carly too, as Nelle reminded her.

David says Kiki’s Incompetence would have killed the kid. She says he’s not playing fair, and he asks if she thinks it’s a game. He says in an ER there will be shouting and lots of distractions. She’ll have to think on her feet. She says she’ll be trained by then. She’s just starting out, and he’s trying to intimidate her. He says he’s sorry to trigger her. He thought she had potential, and guesses he was wrong.

At the station, Scotty looks for Diane. Sonny comes out, and Scotty says, fancy seeing him there. Where are the cuffs? He tells Sonny about how much Ava is enjoying having Avery, and Sonny says tell her not to get used to it. Scotty doesn’t know about that, since there might be a custody change. He brings up Karen, and says he can’t wait to spend quality time with Avery, and tell her about her father. (Karen was Scotty’s daughter, who Sonny coerced into underage stripping.) Sonny grabs him, and Dante jumps in, separating them.

Scotty says Sonny always turns to violence. He guesses Diane is still representing him. Have her give him a call. Dante tells Scotty to take a walk. Dante asks Sonny what he thinks he’s doing. Does he want everyone to see Avery’s father punching Scotty out? Sonny says Scotty was goading him, but Dante is right. Dante says Mike didn’t know where he was half the time, but he’s calmer now. He tells Sonny to talk to him.

Sonny goes into the interrogation room. Mike says he saw that guy giving him a hard time, but Sonny tells him not to worry about it. Mike says he has to; it’s because of him. It all came back this morning. Avery must be confused because of what he did. He screwed up Sonny’s life again, and he’s sorry.

Jordan says every helpful hint on the internet sends people into a panic. The possibility is there, but she’s not dwelling on it unless she has to. One of her concerns is that her nana died from it. Curtis says she smoked like a chimney, but Jordan says not smoking doesn’t make her immune; anyone can get it, particularly people with a family history. He’s sorry, and she says, don’t do that. It could be nothing, but if it is something, she’ll need him not to lose it. She’s trying not to panic.

Kiki tells David that she can handle pressure. David tells her to hit the books, and try again tomorrow; don’t just take up space. David asks Griff to give the injured kid a once over, and Kiki finally comes up with what David had been looking for – epidural hematoma. David leaves to attend to a patient. Griff asks if something happened, and Kiki says she has to go.

Doc tells Carly to only take the medication when she’s stressed, and no more than three a day. He tells her about the possible side effects, but says they’re very rare. Michael sees her, and she shoves the prescription in her bag. He asks what she’s doing there, and Doc says, nice talking to you, and leaves. She tells Michael that she had an appointment. She’s okay, but his father thinks she’s crazy.

Ava says, like Nelle, she won’t let Sonny or Carly stand in her way again. Nelle says maybe Griff is right, and they should share a reasonable compromise. Ava asks what brought about her change of heart, and Nelle says she was just thinking out loud. She felt badly that Ava and Griff aren’t on the same page. She says it’s not like he would make Ava choose between him and daughter.

Griff asks if Kiki is okay, but she says she’s fine. She figures it’s a doctor’s prerogative to tell you to get with the program or get out. She feels like every answer is wrong, because… Griff asks, what? Kiki says, nothing. She’s not on her game due to lack of sleep; she was worried about Avery. Griff asks if she wants him to say something, but Kiki doesn’t want David to think she’s not tough enough. She makes him promise he won’t say anything, and Griff says, okay, but she can always come to him. They hug, and David sees them.

Curtis promises not to freak out, and no more internet research. Jordan says she’s already made that list; there’s a 4% survival rate for stage four. Curtis says that’s a big jump, but she says it can spread quickly. She’s been thinking about TJ. He’s already lost his father, but she doesn’t want to dwell on the worst-case scenario. Curtis asks her to marry him. He loves her, and wants to carry on loving her, as long as they both shall live.

Sonny tells Mike none of it is his fault. Mike tells Sonny not to lie to him or himself. He keeps screwing up. They were better off when he was nowhere near Port Charles; he’s worse than useless. Sonny would do well to forget him. Sonny says that’s not going to happen. Dante asks to talk to Sonny.

Dante tells Sonny the court is in recess, and no bail has been set. He has to take Mike back. His hands are tied, unless Sonny talks to Ava. Unless there’s cooperation between the two of them, it will end badly for Mike. The longer he stays in a cell with nothing familiar around him, the faster he’ll slip away from them.

Tomorrow, Alexis tells Finn they shouldn’t be each other’s rebound, Kim asks Drew to buy her lunch, and Sam tells Jason that Spinelli stranded them on purpose.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion Part One

Andy stirs the pot while the ladies get ready, and the fabulous earrings come out. Dorit says tonight is about her having a voice, like she hasn’t been yapping non-stop through the whole season. Lots of sequins, and Kyle got a haircut. LisaR has also changed up her hair, although she tells us it’s a style she was rocking ten years ago, so I’m not sure if that counts.

Andy greets everyone, and LVP says it’s her favorite day of the year. Ha-ha. Andy says turning forty can be career death for a woman, but the ladies have proved differently. We flash back to all of their projects – Erika’s everything, Dorit’s swimsuits, LisaR’s fifty-million jobs. He asks if forty is the new thirty. Which is one of the stupidest things ever. Like, what does that even mean? Erika says it’s passé to think you’re done at that age, and Kyle says she was busy being a mother in her thirties. LVP says it’s a great message, since people didn’t used to think this way.

Erika’s book is in its third printing already. Andy reads an excerpt about her being afraid to lose her temper. He jokingly asks if they’ve never seen that, and she says she doesn’t think they have; she’s talking about eviscerating someone personally. She says when she came at Eileen, it was from a place of fear, and with Teddi, it was a place of frustration. LVP says Erika needs to understand how she affects the recipient. Andy asks why Tom wasn’t interviewed for the book, and Erika says it was a memoir, and she wanted to write about him herself. She says he hasn’t read it yet, and neither has her mom. Andy thinks that’s weird.

A viewer asks if LisaR would go back to Days of Our Lives permanently. She says probably not. She has too much else going on, and soaps have gone from no money to zero money.

Everyone got a Beverly Beach swimsuit named after them except for Teddi and Camille. Dorit says she named them after people who are involved in her life, and Teddi is new. Andy asks if Teddi was offended, and Teddi says for a moment. She didn’t realize they were in the place they were, until she watched the show, and she saw she’d irritated Dorit. Dorit says that Teddi is one person to her face and another behind her back. She’d thought they were friends. Teddi says she thought they were good. Dorit says she’s not on trial. LVP interjects that they all are. Teddi says the way Dorit talks to her is dismissive. Dorit insists she’s only been kind, and was hurt and disappointed that Teddi pretended to be her friend. Teddi is sorry, but had no idea that Dorit disliked her so much.

We go down Teddi Memory Lane. Teddi says her daughter’s been begging her to have another baby. With the last one, she and Edwin were dying to have a boy, and she thinks she might have had an easier time if they’d picked a different embryo. Dorit suggests getting a dog from the Vanderpump center. Andy stupidly asks her if she ever thought to name her kids Jack and Diane. She says no, and her father would never look at her again if she did. A viewer asks what “real” jobs (or what I call “square” jobs) she’s had, and she’s had a few, including working for LisaR’s agent. LisaR asks why they haven’t met her dad and Meg Ryan. Teddi says her father is now a fan of the show; they all watched it at Christmas. She tells a story about John Mellencamp thinking someone was coming up to him for an autograph, but they asked about Teddi and Dorit. Andy suggests a collaboration with Erika. Erika says he doesn’t need to collaborate with anyone; he’s in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Which we all take as meaning she doesn’t like the idea.

Andy tells us that this year was the nicest effing LisaR we’ve ever seen. She wants to show her girls you can be a strong woman without being a bitch. He says she was hammered a lot by the fans, and asks if that had anything to do with it, but she says it was more about taking a look at her behavior and not liking it. She says it’s been a nice, different ride. Andy asks LVP about missing the old LisaR, but LVP says she’s been more reserved. Viewer Jeremy from Queens says she’s been lame this season, and LisaR says, eff-you, Jeremy, so there you go. They all make a big deal about it for a second, and Jeremy must be going out of his mind with joy in Queens. Another viewer asks if there’s been blowback from LisaR posting provocative pictures on Instagram with her daughters, and she says there has, but it’s her Instagram. They talk about LisaR’s sex book from ten years ago, which has now been reprinted. Andy brings up LisaR throwing shade at Teddi on Watch What Happens Live, as well as Meghan McCain saying Teddi is boring.

Andy talks about LisaR once having said she liked Cedric. LVP says he caused their family a lot of pain, and LisaR says she didn’t know that. Kyle says LisaR has had a go at LVP on her Instagram. LVP says she heard it was nasty, and LisaR says she needs to have a sense of humor. LVP says if it hurts, it’s mean-spirited, and LisaR says if she didn’t see it, she should shut up. The Instagram stories go away in twenty-four hours anyway. Now there’s the LisaR we all know and love. Apparently, she knows nothing about screen shots either.

They joke about LVP running for governor. Erika says if you think reality TV is bad, try politics. We review LVP and Kyle’s friendship, and how Dorit changed the dynamic. We revisit LVP’s walking out at dinner, going back to the hotel with Dorit in NYC, and LisaR’s assessment of it all. They’re like a bunch of teenagers with the friendship thing. LVP says her feelings were hurt, and it wasn’t a great place to be. Kyle says she doesn’t bring things up on purpose, but talks to LVP in private. Erika thinks they have a decade of history and it will always work out. They say, blah-blah-blah about the dinner, and Andy asks if Kyle feels like she’s competing with Dorit. Kyle says no, but she understands how viewers would see it that way. She says it didn’t feel authentic when LVP said Dorit didn’t bother her. LVP says it took a while to see Dorit was economical with the truth. I love LVP’s phraseology. Kyle says she never wanted to create a problem, but was confused because LVP was behaving differently, maybe because of her relationship with PK.

A viewer asks why Dorit sugarcoated, when she was supposed to be coming clean to LVP. Dorit says she cherishes her friendship with LVP, and would never deliberately hurt her. LVP says she wasn’t upset until she saw it, but since then, they’ve reconciled. She says, you have to move on or you get accused of holding a grudge. We flash back to Kyle accusing LVP of holding a grudge. LVP uses the term ad infinitum, which causes all of the women to freak out, thinking she’s making it up. LisaR asks if that’s a word. No, it’s two Latin words, and it means infinity. Have none of them ever read books? This pisses me off, because it’s not an unknown phrase, and it seems like they’re just hoping LVP made a mistake. Dorit thinks Kyle is competitive with LVP. She says that in the beginning, Kyle told her that LVP thought she controlled her. LVP says even her husband doesn’t control her, and Kyle says she doesn’t remember ever saying anything like that. Since we don’t see a clip, I guess she didn’t. If she had, you know they’d have that on tape. Dorit says Kyle has a tendency to wind things up.

Andy brings up Kyle’s outburst at the Bella magazine party, and we flash back to that. Kyle says it wasn’t at the party, but afterwards. Dorit says it was still an important night. Andy says all due to Bella, it’s not Vogue, and I laugh. Even Andy says that was mean, but I still think it was funny. Dorit wants to set the record straight about the beach house – even though no one has brought it up. She was alone with Erika that morning, and she was uncomfortable about the conversation the night before. She insists she didn’t say it was Kyle, and we see clip of her saying it was Kyle. Kyle says she made a mountain out of a molehill. Dorit asks if she’s supposed to remember everything that happens on camera, and Kyle is like, yeah, if you say it, you’d better remember it correctly. She says Dorit seems to remember everything differently from everyone else, and exaggerates. They argue about what was on camera or wasn’t.

Andy desperately tries to change the subject, and begs them to move on. Erika’s migraine is worse. We shift to a better topic – Dorit bringing up Pantygate. Because we will never, ever be allowed to forget it. Dorit admits to not thinking before speaking, and says it was a bad analogy; she never meant Kyle was involved. We flash back to that, and Erika says she never had any problem with Kyle, unless there’s something else she doesn’t know about. Dorit repeats it wasn’t what she intended. Erika says she didn’t speak up at the time, but she was confused, since she had put it behind her. Andy talks about how Kyle left the fashion show, saying everyone was up everyone else’s asses. We flash back to her complaining to Mauricio. Erika says if there had been a problem, she would have brought it up to Kyle’s face. They know they don’t have a problem; they never have. LisaR thought what Kyle said was hurtful; none of them had anything to do with it. Erika says she was trying to call Kyle, and get some understanding. Kyle says when they were in Berlin, no one spoke up, and it didn’t feel authentic. Teddi says, there’s a pattern here. Kyle says she felt badly, and apologized to Erika. Andy says she also apologized to Dorit, and we flash back to that. Dorit says she felt hurt, and their friendship was fractured, although it’s better now. Kyle asks if Dorit can’t see why she was upset. Dorit says it’s not what she intended; she’s sorry. Erica and LVP have to explain what does she understand? means. The lightbulb comes on, and Dorit says, of course she does. LisaR says it’s freeing to let it go and move on.

Next time, Camille joins the group, Dorit getting getting cut from Beverly Hills Lifestyle is discussed, Erika and Teddi tangle, and Erika admits she’s rude to everyone. There are times I don’t like Erika, and do think she’s rude, but I have to admire her bluntness too. I’d much rather have someone tell me eff-you to my face than stab me in the back.

💅 I have to mention Dorit’s sparkly bobby pin hair ornaments. She has a beachy wave going on, so it’s the perfect choice. I have a nice collection of bobby pin hair ornaments, but they’ve become a thing. I hate when that happens. Now if I use them, people will think I’m just following a trend. It’s like the time I bought a sweater online that showed up on General Hospital before I’d had a chance to wear it. It wasn’t fair. I was there first.

👉 Give Me a W…









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