What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
On Alexis’s porch, Kiki tells her that she thought about what she said, and she’s done. Done with the gossip, headlines and her colleagues ignoring her. She wants her life back, and the quickest way to do that is drop the lawsuit. Alexis had the feeling she was leaning that way, and hopes Kiki gives her a chance to change her mind. Kiki doesn’t think she can, but she invites Kiki in, and says, maybe they can. All the women in Kiki’s life are there.
In the park, Oscar is on the phone. He says it’s the sixth message he’s left for Josslyn, and asks her to call back or text. Cameron is listening, and suggests maybe a smoke signal. He asks what the deal is. Trouble in paradise?
Josslyn’s phone rings, and she ignores it. Sonny asks if she’s answering, but she says she’s not in the mood to talk. Not now, and not to Oscar. Sonny sits on couch with her, and asks, how about to him?
At the gym, Jason isn’t going to make Michael take him through the plan again, but reminds him that Nelle is a dangerous woman. He’s been involved with her, and she’s carrying his child. He’ll need to shove down the instinct to protect her, and protect himself. Michael asks why he’s so worried. He doesn’t have to be. Michael knows what do, and has plenty of backup. Sam comes in. Michael says he should get going. Sam says she didn’t want to say anything, but whatever he’s planning with Nelle, please be careful.
On the docks, Nelle tells Chase that she’s trapped. The only way for Michael not to become a widower, is for her to become a widow first. The will cuts her out, and she’ll be left destitute if anything happens, unless he dies in a couple of days. Chase says, before the will is executed. He says he won’t let anything happen to her. They’ll fix it; they’ll think of something.
Kiki asks if they’re all there for her. They can’t stand each other. Olivia says that’s an understatement, and Ava says they’re not there as friends, but as women. Alexis tells them to raise their hands if they’ve been sexually harassed in the workplace. Everyone does, and they tell Kiki that she’s not alone. Alexis says it’s everywhere. Now is the time to be taken seriously.
Sam wants Michael to be safe. She personally doesn’t want him to get hurt, but it would kill Jason if anything happened to him; it would break his heart. Jason loves him. Michael says he won’t take any risks unless it’s necessary, and Sam says that sounds like something Jason would say. Michael tells her he won’t lie, and she says that’s another thing he’d say. Danny had a rocky start in life, so she did what she could to save him. Jason did the same thing for Michael. Michael says that’s exactly what he’s doing for his child. She understands and respects that, and tells him, just be safe. He leaves, and Sam hopes she didn’t overstep. Jason says, no. He’s grateful she said what he couldn’t.
Chase says Nelle has nothing to worry about. Michael is young and healthy, and not going anywhere for a long time. She says that’s exactly what’s wrong; that long time. He’ll take away her child, and leave her penniless, or both. She only sees one solution. The only way for her to feel safe is if Michael is out of the picture. Chase suggests divorce, but she says she’ll be left with nothing and have a baby. She says, some kind of accident could take him out of the picture permanently. People have fatal accidents all the time. If something happened to Michael, they’d be free to be together. He said he’d take care of her; why is he hesitating? She says it was like lightening struck when she saw him again. Chase says it was the same for him. She wants a life with him and the baby, and he said he wanted that too. He holds her.
Jason punches a hanging bag, while Sam jumps rope. He asks if everything is okay, and she says, great. She’s just counting her blessings. Michael bringing up Danny got her thinking. She’s grateful and lucky. Not that he was taken away, but twice she thought a person she loved was gone. First, Danny; then him. Jason says, like father, like son. Did he just make a joke?
Oscar says he’s worried about Josslyn, and Cameron asks what’s going on? Oscar says she’s kind of been all over the place, and when they’re together, he doesn’t know what to expect. Cameron says, and not in a good way. Oscar tells him when he asks questions, she gets defensive. It’s never been a problem before. Cameron guesses Oscar didn’t grow up with family drama. Crazy doesn’t begin to cover it. Josslyn has major issues; her brother dying, her grandfather being sick, and her mom is locked up. The last thing she wants is to reflect on her feelings. Oscar asks what she does want, and Cameron says, to escape.
Josslyn tells Sonny that her mom broke out of Ferncliff, which means she’ll have to stay there longer. Sonny says, it didn’t help, but Josslyn can tell him anything. She says they never talk about it, but they all know who he is. Can’t he pull some strings? He says the ideal situation is for Carly to get released without him interfering, come home, and be who she needs to be. He does have resources. If it’s not resolved soon, he’ll take care of the situation. Deal? They shake hands. He’s sorry she has to go through all this. She says it’s not his fault. She doesn’t need it, but neither does he.
Michael comes in, and Sonny tells him that he was just catching up wit Josslyn. Josslyn asks for a minute alone with Michael, and Sonny takes the hint. She tells Michael they both know how Sonny feels about Nelle, and she didn’t want to talk in front of him. She wonders if Michael asked her about Chase, and what was up with that kiss.
Nelle tells Chase, the only way she can survive and keep her child, is if Michael dies.
At Alexis’s place, each woman tells their story. Alexis says she was the only female associate, in a room of nineteen men. Olivia says men had names for women who sold cars in Bensonhurst. Ava convinced herself that he’d stop when he realized how much she knew about art. Kim says in medical school, every time the seating chart changed, hers stayed the same – next to him, so he could put his hand on her leg. Jordan says she was the best shot, but he wanted to give her pointers, so he could press against her. Alexis says, at a meeting, the men were all laughing, looking in her direction. They said they were looking at a piece of evidence. It was an obscene picture of what her superior wanted to do to her. She worked ass off to be in that room, and she wouldn’t let an obscene joke drive her away. Kiki is stunned.
Jason says Danny is a tough kid; tougher than Sam. She tells him when the doctor told her that he had leukemia, the world stopped. The doctors would talk, but she didn’t hear a word. Jason says, of all the things he missed, he wished he’d been there. Sam says he was. She would sit in the hospital, looking at this tiny human being who wasn’t going to quit; he was determined. Jason says, he was fighting to stay with her. Sam says on a subconscious level, she knew that. Danny was too much like Jason to die. She tells him that she wasn’t alone, She had family, but the person who helped her the most was Patrick.
Michael is glad Josslyn told him, and tells her not to worry about Chase. She says that doesn’t answer her question. She’s not a kid; he doesn’t have to hide things from her. He says that’s not his intention. He gets that it’s confusing, but she has to trust him. The baby will be here before they know it, and they have to pull it together as a family. He says, don’t worry about the other stuff. He promises it will be taken care of. Sonny asks if it’s safe. Josslyn asks to be taken on errand, and Sonny tells her one of his guy’s will take her. She leaves, and Michael says mom not being around is hard on her. He blames himself; Nelle got in her head. Sonny says, he screwed up, they all did. They need to fix the problem, sooner rather than later. His sister needs her mother.
Nelle tells Chase that he’s the man who followed her across the country. He sees her soul. Why push that away? They belong together. He says that’s what he believes. She thought she was doing the right thing for the baby, but she was doing the opposite. If he doesn’t trust her, she doesn’t blame him. He says he loves her, and she says she loves him too. He tells her, this is happening. He feels like they’re dancing around though. What exactly does she want him to do? She says, find way for Michael to die.
Chase says he’s a police officer. Nelle says he claims he’d give it all up for her; was that the truth? Michael has to die. She doesn’t see any other option; does he? She needs his help. He says he’s in. If that’s what gives him a life with her and the baby, how can he say no? She says he has no idea how much it means. They’ll have to move fast. It has to happen before the baby comes. She kisses him, and he says he’ll keep her updated. He leaves, and she looks relieved. Away from the docks, Chase texts Michael. Got her.
Oscar tells Cameron that he appreciates the advice, but he and Josslyn are solid. You don’t almost die in a freezer and not know how to have a conversation. Cameron takes Oscar’s phone. He says he doesn’t know Josslyn as intimately, but he’s known her a long time. He texts something, and hands it back. Oscar says it doesn’t sound like him. She’ll think it’s a joke. Cameron tells him to lighten things up. The phone dings. Oscar reads, what was that about? He says, dude, it worked. Cameron says, told him.
Olivia says her story is a little different. She could have told her father and brothers. They would have stopped it. No one messes with the Falconaris. She would have been out of a job though, and she was a single mom raising a kid. She didn’t want to live off of her family; it was her problem to solve. She had ammo. She had resources if she couldn’t handle it; a safety net. She realizes now that so many women didn’t have that luxury. Ava says it was New York in the ‘90s. She loathed it, but it was the cost of doing good business. In private high-end positions, the rules are clear. He would help her career if she complied with his requests. Kim says when Alexis called, she immediately saw herself. She’s infuriated about David standing between Kiki and her vocation. She wants to do what’s good, and has a miserable excuse for a man obstructing her. Making her feel like she can only succeed if she compromises herself sexually. She had no choice. Alexis says it was a different time. The message is clear; this behavior will not be tolerated. She has the opportunity to act on that. They didn’t have that chance. Kim tells Kiki that no one said it would be easy, and Ava says, but it will be worth it.
Sam tells Jason that she spent a lot of time at the hospital. Patrick always had something nice to say or a joke, and they built a friendship. It turned into something more. Jason asks, how much more? and Sam says, they were engaged. She tells Jason not to freak out, and he says he’s not freaking out; it’s just weird. No one told him. She says it makes sense to her. He and Robin had connected. He says they were in love when they were young. Then she and Patrick ended up almost – Sam says the key word is almost. It didn’t happen because of him.
Sonny asks Michael what’s the latest on Nelle. He says Chase is laying the groundwork. It will come together in days. Sonny asks if he’s considered what happens if the plan goes south. Nelle is evil. There’s no telling what she’ll do. Chase texts Michael. Michael tells Sonny the trap has been set. Sonny says the snake is backed into a corner. Nelle has everything to gain and nothing to lose. Be prepared. He asks Michael what if it’s a choice between Nelle’s and his life. Michael says he’ll choose his baby’s life, even if it costs him his.
Sam tells Jason when it turned out Jake Doe was Jason Morgan, she thought he’d come back, and couldn’t go through with it. Jason says he owes Drew a thank you. Sam laughs, saying she’s never seen him this uncomfortable, and he tells her to enjoy it while she can. Her phone dings, and she says she has a surprise for him. Danny comes in, and Jason says it’s a great surprise. Danny bounces off the ropes in the ring, and asks to hit the punching bag.
Olivia says if Kiki steps up, she’ll be carrying the torch for all of them. She’ll be giving women agency. They’ll see her, and say they’re going to do like she did, and win the lawsuit. Kiki says, if she wins. Kim says she should be treated professionally, and Alexis says she shouldn’t have to trade being harassed for a chance to do her job. Men don’t. Olivia says, it’s no she-woman man hater group either. She grew with men she adored and admired, and raised her son to treat women right. Alexis says they’re not grouping men together as predators; this doesn’t define them. Kim says she’ll be doing something important for so many people. It’s her opportunity. Ava tells her, don’t waste it.
Josslyn sees Nelle in the park. Josslyn asks if the detective is still bothering her, but Nelle thinks he got the message. Nelle says that’s not what’s on Josslyn’s mind though. Josslyn says she and Oscar got in a fight. They weren’t agreeing, she got nasty, and shut down. Nelle asks if Josslyn misses him more than she’s mad at him, and Josslyn says she does. Nelle says, then talk to him. Tell him she doesn’t know how to get back where they were, but she wants to figure it out together. Josslyn thinks she can do that, and thanks Nelle. Nelle says, what are sister-in-laws for?
Chase goes to Sonny’s place, and Michael says, let’s hear it. Chase plays a recording of Nelle asking him to find a way for Michael to die. Chase says, there’s more, but that’s the gist of it. Sonny wonders why they can’t use just the recording, and Michael says, they have nothing on her. Sonny says she’s on record asking Chase to kill his son. Michael says, it’s not enough. Sonny tells him that they’ll take it to Jordan, and she’ll arrest Nelle. Michael says, she’ll get out of it. Chase says, she’ll either say she was joking or she was trapped. The charges won’t stick. Michael says they have one chance to get it right, clear his mom, and protect his child. No way he’s stopping now.
Kiki thanks everyone for sharing their stories. She didn’t realize what the lawsuit meant before; how much it matters. What matters is definitely bigger than her. As hard as it’s going to be, she’ll do it. Alexis says none of them are here fully formed; they all go through struggles, like the women before them. Kiki jokes, that she’s only taking a stand for all women everywhere. Kim says, pretty much, and Ava says, no pressure.
Danny punches the bag, as Jason instructs. He thinks they’ve got a boxer on their hands. Sam smiles.
Oscar looks at the text Cameron sent. Thirty white horses on a red hill, first champ, then stamp, and then stand still. Oscar asks, what are they? Cameron says, tell Josslyn if she wants to know the answer, she has to meet with him. Oscar says it’s ridiculous. Cameron got her to text back when he couldn’t think of anything. He thanks Cameron, and asks what the answer is. Cameron says he has no clue. Oscar wonders what to tell Josslyn, and Cameron says he’ll think of something.
Josslyn looks at her phone, and tells Nelle that she and Oscar are going to meet now. She thanks Nelle again, and they hug. Nelle really hopes it works out. Josslyn has a good feeling. Nelle’s phone dings, and she says, what a coincidence. So does she.
Sonny asks, now what? Chase says everything is in place. Michael says, soon everything will play out to the end. Sonny tells him to make sure it’s not the end of his life. We see Nelle looking like she’s feeling an ill wind.
Tomorrow, Franco asks Elizabeth what she’s doing there, Jordan asks Chase if he can coax a confession from Nelle, and Mary Pat tells Carly that she’s going to feel like a new woman.
❓ The answer to Cameron’s riddle is – your teeth.
The Real Housewives of New York City
In Cartagena, LuAnn asks if they’re going shopping. Bethenny doesn’t want more people around, and tells Dorinda that she’s cracking. LuAnn tells the others that Bethenny is hysterically crying. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s been in these situations, where people have been not so kind, and less tolerant. She tells Bethenny to take a breath. Bethenny says she’ll get it together. Sonja says Bethenny wants to be with Dorinda right now. Carole says if Bethenny isn’t the center of attention and in charge, she’s not happy, and makes it hell for the rest of them. Bethenny says she finally got her life together, and she’s falling apart. She tells Dorinda that her just being there is fine. No deep analysis> They join the others, Dorinda suggesting they shop the blues away.
Carole tells Sonja that Bethenny has been rude to her, and won’t even look her in the eye. In her interview, Sonja says, so what? Carole should be supportive anyway. That’s ride or die. Bethenny tells Dorinda, sorry, and they go into the store. Sonja asks Dorinda if Bethenny had a good cry. Dorinda says she’s going through something. She doesn’t want to talk too much, and get herself in trouble. Sonja says she’s always in trouble. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s curator of the relationship. Her lips are locked – for the first time.
Everyone tries on hats and combs through the merchandise. Dorinda suggests that Carole talk to Bethenny, but Carole says she can’t engage with someone who’s crying every time they have a conversation. Bethenny needs to figure it out. She feels badly, but can’t deal with it. In her interview, Carole says Bethenny has no apparent reason for a breakdown; it’s unnerving. Suckerfish Jason Hoppy anyone? Bethenny says she wants to have fun, not drag everyone down. She can feel the eyerolls. She tells Sonja this is a bizarre vacation. Sonja tells her that Ramona thinks Bethenny is friends with people to manipulate them, and Sonja said Ramona was the biggest manipulator in her life.
Ramona tells Dorinda that Bethenny is doing things to antagonize the situation. Dorinda says there’s something they don’t know, and Bethenny and Carole need to talk. Sonja tells Bethenny that Carole says she’s a taker. In her interview, Bethenny says she’s a taker of Carole on trips, and lists times she’s taken Carole somewhere, as well as Adam. Bethenny says to coin Dorinda’s phrase, she’s America’s houseguest. Bethenny decides to call Dennis to get a plane for her. Must be nice. Sonja wants her to salvage her relationship with Carole, but Bethenny wants to go home. She asks Sonja if the street vendors sell Prozac, and Sonja says they are in Columbia.
The girls sit down at a restaurant, minus Sonja, Bethenny, and LuAnn. Dorinda has to eat before she rips someone’s head off. I totally understand. She wonders where the girls are. LuAnn meets Bethenny and Sonja on the street, where Sonja is sipping directly from a coconut. In her interview, LuAnn says don’t eat street meat or juice. If you do, you’re asking for it. They join the others. Bethenny hangs back, since she’s on the phone with Dennis. She tells him she had a breakdown, and has no relationship with Carole. She’s not welcome there. LuAnn tells the table that Bethenny is on the phone; it’s a personal issue. Bethenny decides she doens’t want the drama of an exit, and wants to regroup. The paella comes – it’s an amazing display – and Bethenny jokes about them wanting to poison her. Carole thinks it’s awkward because no one is addressing the elephant in the room. She doesn’t even know what the elephant is anymore. Dorinda, Carole, and Tinsley go for a massage. Bethenny says it seems old school without them; the old group. They clink glasses.
Back at Casa Mattos, Bethenny says no drama. Everyone has to crack once in a while. She’s turning her frown upside down. She says she went shopping like an addict, and Sonja humps the clothing on the bed. Tinsley gets her makeup done. Sonja wants to avoid camel toe, and discusses various options with Carole. Carole wants to talk privately, and closes the door. She gives Sonja a pair of earrings, saying she bought some for everyone. In her interview, Sonja says Carole bearing gifts is a red flag. Carole wonders if Sonja might have insight about what happened to Bethenny to make her act this way. Sonja says Bethenny feels that Carole doesn’t want anything to do with her, and has no interest in the friendship anymore. She’s not empathetic. Carole says she is. Sonja says Carole shifted focus on other things, and maybe that’s what’s hurting her. In her interview, Sonja says Carole knew what she was getting from the beginning. She knows Bethenny can be a nightmare. So what? She’s still a friend. Carole says she’s not sure she got anything she didn’t know, but wants to make every attempt to know Bethenny.
The girls head out to dinner. LuAnn pronounces them a hot group. She’s not sure they’ll get out alive. Sonja wants to have fun. Bethenny gets a balloon with lights in it for Brynn. She says she bought her bought feelings today. Sonja shows her the earrings, saying no one else got anything, but she thinks Carole really came to talk about Bethenny. She tells Bethenny what Carole said, and Bethenny says she doesn’t care; she wishes she did. In her interview, Sonja wonders how good of friends they were. She wants to choke Ramona, but then hugs her. Just a side note: the plating at this restaurant is incredible, and Carole is wearing the biggest tassel earrings I’ve ever seen. In her interview, LuAnn says having no intention of drinking is mind blowing. Carole steps away for a smoke with Dorinda. Sonja wonders since when does Carole smoke, and Bethenny says since when does she buy earrings for Sonja? Carole tells Dorinda that it’s hard for her to navigate the relationship. Ramona tells Bethenny that Carole feels like she pushes her away, and Bethenny says there’s definitely a wall up. Dorinda thinks it’s toxic at the table. Carole wants to be a grown up, and hug it out. She wants to find out what went wrong. They go back to the table, and Carole says they need to address the elephant affecting the whole group.
She tells Bethenny that she’s feeling like she’s been avoided in the last couple of weeks. Bethenny isn’t even looking her in the eye. She doesn’t want to pull back, and needs to know what happened. Bethenny thinks it’s like an erosion. Carole says they’ve talked about it, and she thought she understood what happened. She thought they were moving on. Bethenny says she can’t do this as a group event, and Tinsley says she’s not listening. Carole tells Bethenny not to worry about it. At the other end of the table, LuAnn tells Dorinda she’s starting to turn and get aggressive. Dorinda wants her to apologize. Dorinda says something about The Countess, who isn’t a countess anymore, and that LuAnn is the one who got arrested for drinking, so don’t talk to her. Dorinda smashes her glass for emphasis, and Tinsley squeals.
Bethenny doesn’t want to do this. Dorinda calls LuAnn self-righteous, and insists she apologize. Bethenny says she spent last night crying, and Carole just walked past her, saying she was toxic. Carole says she didn’t, and Bethenny says Carole was standing next to her. We flash back, and she was. Carole says she didn’t know Bethenny was crying; she was saying goodnight. Dorinda’s finger is going, and she says she’s not the one with the mug shot. In her interview, LuAnn says she had no idea Dorinda felt that way. She feels betrayed. Carole tells Bethenny that she didn’t say Bethenny was toxic; she said she can’t take the toxic energy. She’s not recognizing her as the same person. Bethenny thinks Carole doesn’t really like her. Ramona tells Dorinda that she doesn’t need another drink. Wow. That’s taking a chance. LuAnn gets up from the table. In her interview, Ramona says Dorinda can’t stop her mouth. She has a big temper and a loose tongue. Bethenny says with Carole everything is cool. Maybe she’s too cool for Bethenny. Carole says maybe Bethenny doesn’t like her. Dorinda tells Ramona never to speak to her again. Ramona says she’s not making sense. Carole tells Bethenny that she tried to reach out. Bethenny says she loves Carole. If she’s crying, Carole shouldn’t say it’s toxic and not deal with it. Dorinda say she doesn’t have to explain herself, and leaves the table. Tinsley doesn’t know what’s going on. Bethenny says she knows she’s a lot. LuAnn says she’s sick to her stomach. Dorinda’s true colors came out. Tinsley says she has a mugshot too. In her interview, LuAnn says it was uncalled for, like a sucker punch. She has no words. She leaves, and Dorinda sits back down. In her interview, Sonja says even prison bitches have loyal friends.
Bethenny brings up the text where she said she missed Carole, and Carole replied, it’s a lot. Carole tells her there were more texts, and they argue about that. Dorinda complains that LuAnn was trying to school her. Carole tells Bethenny maybe it’s not like it used to be, but friendships have lulls. Ramona says Dorinda’s personality changes after three drinks, but it’s not her job to tell her. Dorinda tells her not to project. In her interview, Ramona says Dorinda is going to regret losing her temper tomorrow. It’s not really what she’s feeling. She says it’s not the right time, and Dorinda tells her to shut her mouth. Bethenny tells Carole that they’re not getting to a final answer. Maybe there isn’t one. It’s sad. Carole says it doesn’t have to be sad. She does love Bethenny. She kisses Bethenny’s cheek, and leaves. Bethenny says it’s the worst vacation she’s ever been on in her entire life.
In her interview, Bethenny says she and Carole connected, and it felt great being close, but if it’s destroyed over nothing, was it a friendship. Bethenny says she doesn’t want to cry. In her interview, Carole says it’s like an abusive relationship, and she feels gaslighted. Dorinda rants about LuAnn being holier than thou. In her interview, Tinsley understands where Dorinda is coming from. LuAnn is someone who used to drink a ton, and fell in bushes – we flash back to the clip that keeps on giving – and she shouldn’t be lecturing Dorinda. Sonja says you don’t talk about people drinking when you’re not. Carole thinks conflict motivates Bethenny’s relationships.
Back at the casa, Bethenny takes her balloon and goes upstairs. Ramona thinks it’s sad. LuAnn asks Bethenny what happened. Bethenny says it can’t be worse than what happened to LuAnn. LuAnn says she wanted to throw up. Dorinda was getting angry and starting to turn. She said not to tell her about drinking. It was being drunk that got her arrested, and ranted about her being an ex-countess. LuAnn starts to cry, saying that’s what Dorinda thinks of her. Bethenny says it’s not. In her interview, she says Dorinda gets hardcore, nasty, and deep. LuAnn is just out of rehab and doing a decent job. She doesn’t need it. Bethenny says it’s not what Dorinda thinks of her; it’s what she thinks of herself. She says she hasn’t told anyone this, and tells LuAnn about Puerto Rico. We flash back to that, and Bethenny says she was so stunned. She had to have compassion. She knows Dorinda has a problem; it was rough. LuAnn doesn’t think Dorinda will get help, because she doesn’t know she has a problem. Bethenny thinks she does. LuAnn asks what happened with Carole, but Bethenny doesn’t know. Nothing and everything. She never had a close friendship dissolve this way.
Carole goes for a swim, and finds Dorinda sitting at the table when she comes back. She feels bad about the fight. She’s very forgiving, but won’t apologize. She’s been a good friend to LuAnn. Carole says if that’s what it’s really about. Dorinda says LuAnn has no gratitude, and don’t shame her. In her interview, Carole says it sounds like she didn’t respond well. People don’t want to be preached to about drinking too much by someone who just got out of jail for drinking too much.
Dorinda says she wasn’t drunk; she was just drinking. Bethenny tells LuAnn that everyone knows Dorinda has a problem. LuAnn says it was a crazy day, and they’re going to the island tomorrow. Bethenny leaves the balloon, and goes back downstairs. Carole tells Dorinda not to think about it. LuAnn feels she should impart wisdom. Dorinda says, wisdom, good; judgment, bad. In her interview, Bethenny says it’s like the odometer went back to zero. She isn’t sure where her relationship with Carole lies. Do they love each other, or hate each other? Are they going to spoon, or never speak again? Dorinda takes her cigarettes out of her purse upside down, and they fall all over the place. Bethenny sees Dorinda’s lipstick is smeared, and she has a Joker mustache. She doesn’t know why Carole let her stay that way. Bethenny wipes Dorinda’s mouth, and Dorinda starts laughing. She says she’s ended her relationship with LuAnn. Carole thinks she should sleep on it. Bethenny tries to explain that LuAnn wasn’t being judgmental, and no one’s against her. LuAnn really loves her. She’s never seen LuAnn like this, as a person who’s not full of sh*t. So she has a moment; let her have it. Make it nice. Dorinda says she always wants to take back things she says, and she’s quick to say she’s sorry. It’s not like she brought the world down. LuAnn needs to tend her own garden. Bethenny tells her it will be okay.
Next time, Dorinda talks to LuAnn, Ramona moons, and the boat trip from hell.
😥 On Watch What Happens Live, we got the word that Carole is leaving the show.
🍗 On MasterChef, the contestants prepared chicken dishes, in teams of two. Ashley and Taylor collaborated, and Gordon said he’d seen better chicken prep on MasterChef Junior. He kept saying, who mauled this chicken? and reminded me of my fourth-grade teacher, saying, who did this? when someone wrote poop on the blackboard. No one confessed (no, it wasn’t me), and we all had to stay in for recess, but it was worth it. I can still see her now… Gordon eventually told the same team that it was the most dysfunctional forty-five minutes in the history of MasterChef. I’d buy this, if he didn’t say stuff like that all the time. The elimination test was a perfect cheese souffle in forty minutes. Cesar and Ryan made fundamental errors that got them called to the front, and Ryan ousted. Cesar said it was a wake-up call, and was going to make sure to bring his best effort every time, like he tells his students. Ryan’s souffle tasted of more egg white than cheese souffle, although Aaron said he has a beautiful future ahead. Ryan said he came in a drummer from Houston, but knows he’s more than that. He found his rhythm in the MasterChef kitchen. Next week the MasterChef restaurant opens its doors to the hardest food critics – kids. Christina also makes an appearance.
🍨🐶 The Fetch Bistro in Wichita, Kansas, caters to people and dogs, and was featured on 24 Hours to Hell and Back. Pam and Greg were the owners, along with their two standard poodles. The place was total chaos, and patrons kept finding dog hair in their food. One of the waitresses didn’t think dog hair did a lot for the appetite, but I’d just think I was at home. Oddly enough, I would be more bothered by people hair. There was no head chef (Gordon called the restaurant rudderless), and no standards for the pets in the dining room. The owners barely seemed married, and Greg treated his wife like a server. Gordon said the dogs were more in charge, and the food wasn’t even as good as a diner. He did the usual redecorating, including dog beds, and made the outside space functional and recreational, putting in a dog park and bocce ball. He also brought in people to teach them to cook, and cleaned the place up. He showed a video to Greg where Greg was ordering his wife around, and said he could reform the restaurant, but Greg’s attitude had to start with him. He told Greg to cut the crap, get a grip, and treat Pam with respect. Gordon took what he called a kennel, and turned it into an amazing restaurant. After three months, everyone is still happy. Next time, the two most stubborn owners, and the most difficult transformation ever. With the kitchen a war zone, Gordon might not be able to get it done in 24 hours.
🎉 Good News…
Chris Hardwick has been vindicated. And in extra news, Fear the Walking Dead returns August 14th, and The Walking Dead returns October 7th.