April 10, 2019 – The Kidnapping Commences, Summer Camp In the Berkshires, An Anniversary & Not Cracking


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

After skating, Willow and Chase go to this apartment. Willow asks if skating is going to be Chase’s new hobby. He doesn’t think so, but he loved it because he got to be with her. He tells her that he has something he hopes she’s into. He holds up a bottle, and says, behold. The most magical bottle of wine ever had. At least that’s what the guy at the wine store told him.

Finn says, it feels like May, but Anna is busy looking at her phone. He doesn’t mean to pry, but asks if there’s something about the picture Robin sent that’s concerning. She says she was just thinking about the people who are most precious to her, her daughter and grandchildren. It never occurred to her, what if they’re not…

Peter walks Maxie to her door, and says they have to plan their next date. She says that would imply they had one tonight. He asks if it doesn’t count, and she says only if he thought her spending most of the time with other people was a good date. In that case, they have a problem. He asks, what about tomorrow? and she says she’ll find a sitter. He says he’ll make a reservation. She asks is he staying or going? and he says, staying. She was hoping he’d say that.

On the phone in his office, Sonny tells Carly that he’ll be home soon, and he loves her too. He hears someone at the door, and grabs his gun. It’s Alexis, who says they have to talk. He says, Kristina? and she says, what else? She tells Sonny, he’s not going to kidnap her, and he says, whatever Shiloh is selling, Kristina is buying big time. She’s in deep, and they have to dig her out.

Kristina signs her pledge. Shiloh says, well done. She wants to make him proud by repaying him for everything he’s given her. He says she’s such a special person, and touches her face. He tells her, enjoy the ceremony. He leaves, but she calls him back. She doesn’t know… He says the ceremony will be as painless as possible. Does she trust him? She has nothing to be afraid of. She half-smiles.

Jason tells Sam that he wants to case the house first. Then he’ll grab Kristina, and get her the hell out of there. Sam says they have to make sure Shiloh is fully occupied somewhere else. Jason asks, how? She takes out her phone, and says, watch and learn.

Chase asks if Willow has been to the specialty wine store, but she says she’s too intimidated. He tells her that Stanley said – she interrupts, noting he’s on a first name basis with Stanley – the wine is from a little family-owned vineyard. He hesitates before quoting Stanley that it’s the vintage of love. She says, it must be some wine. They should toast. Chase asks, to what? and she says, to new adventures and magical vintages. They clink glasses.

Finn tells Anna that he doesn’t understand. She says, what if the unthinkable… He says, what? and she says, her sister. He says now she’s getting somewhere. She says what if she’s misinterpreted their relationship all these years? What if Alex despises her? Finn asks, why? Anna says what if she got to raise Alex’s child as her own? What if Robin is Alex’s, and not hers?

Peter remarks on how big James is getting, and Maxie can’t believe he’s going to be one. Peter says, it was a year ago next month. She says, he remembers that night? and he says, it’s hard to forget. James made a dramatic entrance. Maxie says she can never repay him, but he says she did the hard work. She says she never could have done it if he hadn’t been there. He’s glad he was, and she says, her too.

Alexis tells Sonny that their daughter is in big trouble. He says he’ll handle it, and she asks if he’s going to take Kristina kicking and screaming. He’ll make it worse. He asks how much worse it can get. She’s already in so deep, he doesn’t recognize her. Alexis says she talked to someone experienced in cults. They said not to force her. Plant seeds of doubt, encourage and nurture them to grow, until she comes to her own decision and leaves. Sonny asks if she got the advice from a gardener, and she says, no, a therapist. She has a new one.

Shiloh tells Kristina that she won’t be alone. The other Trust members will be with her. She still wishes he would be there, but he says it’s a step she needs to take on her own. She needs to own this; embrace this. He’ll be there after to welcome her into the family, but in the meantime, Harmony will be with her. Harmony comes in, and holds out a cup. She tells Kristina, drink it. It will calm her nerves.

Finn asks if Anna thinks the memory was having Robin. Walk him through this. Anna say she couldn’t see Robin much when she was little. Finn says, Robert couldn’t know he had a kid. She says she was still an agent, and should have gone to jail for treason. She visited Robin as much as possible, as a friend. Robin called her love. She was thinking, what if Alex gave birth, and for her own convoluted reason, had the memory implanted in her?

Maxie asks if Peter wants a nightcap, but he thinks he’s okay. She says she doesn’t have much in the way of food, but they could order out. He tells her everything he needs is standing in front of him. She says. that’s easy. They kiss, gaze into each other’s eyes, and kiss some more. Maxie starts unbuttoning his shirt, when James starts to cry. She can’t believe the timing, but Peter says he’ll be right there. He sits down, and sees a picture of Maxie and Nathan on the mantel.

Shiloh tells Kristina, time for reflection. She needs to make sure this is what she truly wants. She says she knows what she wants. If she seems anxious, it’s just because she’s excited, not scared. She doesn’t know why they can’t start now. Shiloh appreciates her enthusiasm, but tells her, for the sake of the others who come after her, use the time wisely and reflect. Harmony tells her, drink up, and she does. Shiloh arranges the pillows, and tells her to make herself comfortable. She lies down, and he says, think about how far she’s come. He’ll see her later. He and harmony leave. In the hallway, Shiloh tells Harmony, Kristina is clearly ready.

Sam calls Shiloh, who says it’s a nice surprise to hear from her. She hopes it’s not too late to call, but she doesn’t think she can make another session tomorrow. He says she seemed to enjoy the last one. Is she sure she’s okay. Is it Jason? She asks if she would sound unenlightened if she said yes, but he says she’d sound honest. She wants be with Jason, and doesn’t know if this can work. He asks where she is, and she says The Floating Rib, but he doesn’t have to come. He says he’s on his way. She hangs up, and tells Jason, and that is how it’s done. He says, yes it is. She needs to keep him at least a half hour. Can she do that? She says she needs him to get her sister out. Can he do that? He says he won’t leave the house without her.

At this point, my Word program suddenly decides it’s not responding. After waiting a beat to see if it will change it’s mind, I close it and reopen it. Since I don’t hit save every five seconds, only fifteen, it’s missing a paragraph. Since I haven’t slept this week, I decide it’s not worth it to hunt down the two minutes missing. Basically, Sam meets Shiloh outside The Floating Rib, and pretends to be somewhat drunk. He takes the beer bottle from her hand, and they go inside where he orders coffee.

Jason checks his phone; 10:10. He looks in the windows at DOD and sees the living room empty. He slips inside. He hears Harmony asking for help with Kristina’s ceremony. Shiloh pushed it up. it’s go time.

Chase tells Willow that he wants her, but only if she wants him. She says, yes. He asks if she’s sure, and she says she is. They get busy.

Finn thinks it’s crazy for Anna to work herself up for nothing. Robin is her daughter. Anna says she can’t say that with certainty. Look at Drew. Finn says, it’s not the same, but she says they were both parties to the experiment against their will. Drew had no idea his life was not his own, and could recall things that never happened. How does she know that’s not true for her too?

Peter looks at the picture of Maxie and Nathan. Maxie comes back, and says she thinks it was just a bad dream. One book and two songs made it all better. Peter thinks mom made all better. He says the picture makes him smile, and she says it has that effect on her too. She asks if it’s weird, talking about Nathan, when they just… He says, no, but he wasn’t married to him. Is it weird for her? She says, yes and no. She asks when life got so complicated, and he says, for him, at birth. She asks, what about his history? He’s sure she doesn’t want to talk about his father, and she says she means girls; particularly the ones he’s dated. He knows about her past, so it’s only fair she gets the 411 on his exes.

Sam tells Shiloh this place used to be called Jake’s. She and Jason played pool there all the time. She misses him. Shiloh asks if she misses who she was with him. She says, no, and he says, that’s a telling sign. She says give her enough time, and she can give him the bullet points on why they shouldn’t be together. He says it might serve as a reminder she’s on right path, and she asks how much time does he have?

Jason goes to attic, and finds Kristina. He asks if she can hear him. He sees the tattoo instruments, and says her name again.

Anna tells Finn, maybe Alex felt she couldn’t take care of Robin. Then Dr. Cabot did this deranged twin study, and Alex had the memories implanted in her. Finn says, that’s highly unlikely, and she says, but not impossible. Finn asks what the motivation would be. Alex hated her so much, she gave Anna her kid? Where’s the negative? Anna says Alex must have felt some relief. She couldn’t deal, and put the onus on her. Over the years, Anna got to love her and raise Robin as her daughter. Finn says Robin is her daughter. Anna says, now Alex is dropping hints. Finn asks, why now? and Anna says she doesn’t know. For some reason, Alex wants her to realize Robin is her daughter, and not Anna’s.

Peter hates to disappoint Maxie, but all of his relationships were relatively brief and uncomplicated. She asks if he’s ever been in love. He says no, but he’s looking forward to it. On that note, he thinks he should go. She asks, why? and he says he thinks it’s time to call it a night. She tells him James is a one and done kind of kid, but he says it’s not James. She asks, what then? and he says, her.

Chase and Willow bask in the afterglow. He asks if it was okay, and she says, more than okay. Perfect. He wants to make sure she’s all right. She says she had no idea it could feel like this, and the only reason she knows is because of him. They kiss.

Alexis tells Sonny that she’s worried his plan will make Kristina resent him. Sonny says, wrong. Kristina knows he’s the kind of person who takes action when things go bad. At the beginning, she might be mad, but she’ll realize. Alexis says he’s acting like she’ll be rational, and that’s not going to happen. He says, Kristina is still Kristina. She knows he’s not extreme unless the situation is that bad. She’ll realize she’s wrong. He asks if she thinks it’s better to wait and watch, but she doesn’t know. He says they’re getting her out of imminent danger and keeping her safe.

Sam says Shiloh has people who need and want him, including her sister. She can’t believe he has enough time to come out there and listen to her troubles. He tells her, DOD isn’t about one specific thing. Members have different purposes, and serve different roles. It’s up to her to decide what her role is. She asks if he’ll help her figure it out, and he says, of course. I know, let’s play a drinking game when anyone says, of course.

Jason checks Kristina’s pulse, and looks at the time. He picks Kristina up, and carries her out. I laugh because, even though I don’t think she’s that hefty, he struggles carrying her.

Finn tells Anna, let’s go home. It will make more sense in the morning. Anna says, it makes perfect sense now. This person she’s loved, and had the privilege of raising; who has her heart. What if Alex is trying to blow up her and Robin’s relationship? He says, what if it’s true? Would it change anything for her? She says, no. She loves Robin as if she was her own, and will until the day she dies, but how can she explain it to her? It will break her heart. She cries, and Finn holds her. I’m guessing this mom switch is where the storyline is going, but it seems like a sudden, huge leap to this conclusion. I also can’t figure out where Alex was dropping hints about it.

Maxie tells Peter that she wouldn’t have asked him to stay. Unless it’s him. He says there’s nothing he wants more. She doesn’t get it, and tells him, be honest. He says, of course, and I take a drink. He thinks maybe she’s trying to rush things; convincing herself she’s ready. if she is maybe tell tale sign not ready yet 100 okay m say she will be ready one day promise he’ll be waiting promise not like anyone else interested in she’s it take all the time she need he gives her a quick kiss and leaves she ponders looks at pic I’m disappointed

Alexis doesn’t like the idea, but tells Sonny, just get her out. He says, it’s happening tonight. Jason is getting her out now. She wonders why they were even discussing it, and he says she has to be on board. Kristina needs the both of them. She says, fantastic. Thanks for the update. Now she’s involved in a federal crime and could be disbarred. Sonny says if she doesn’t like what he does for a living, she shouldn’t have had a baby with him. She says, too late for that. He’s Kristina’s father; she’s her mother. He asks if she wants coffee, and she says, yes please. He tells her that he’s going to fix this.

Sam thanks Shiloh for listening to her, and he says, any time. She says she should probably get going. He offers to drive her home, since she can’t drive herself, but she says she can take an Uber. He’s already spent so much time helping her. He hopes he see her tomorrow, and he leaves.

Harmony says they’re ready to begin, but Kristina isn’t there. She looks around, puzzled, then panicked. She sends a text.

Shiloh’s phone dings. The text says, she’s gone.

Jason carries Kristina out. She starts to come to, and says, Jason? He tells her, it’s okay. He’s taking her somewhere safe.

Tomorrow, Michael says Kristina needs to know the truth, Jason tells Kristina that he took her from a bad place, and Terry says there’s nothing further they can do for Oscar.

The Real Housewives of New York City

We backtrack a little to the fish room argument. LuAnn says, Bethenny is coming tomorrow, but takes the nicest room. She gets to sleep with the swordfish. The other women laugh, and say she’s sleeping with the fishes. LuAnn gets up, and says, you take the fish room. She walks out, grumbling as she goes about being put in the effing fish room. In her interview, LuAnn is surprised they think it’s funny. She thought Dorinda would be more thoughtful. Since she was messed up last time, maybe put her in another room. We flash back to LuAnn’s hangover that weekend. Ramona asks if Bethenny is queen. She’s involved with someone else; how horrible can it be? Dorinda says, everyone handles grief differently. In Ramona’s interview, she wonders if Dorinda thinks Bethenny is in a bad place, so she gave her the room, or if she’s afraid of her. LuAnn asks the hotel guy for a room. At the table, the women agree it’s a scary room. They’re from NYC and think taxidermized fish are scary? Really? LuAnn comes back, and tells them, for her, it’s like the scene of the crime. She was wasted in that room. In her interview, Tinsley doesn’t think it’s a trigger. It’s just an excuse not to stay in the fish room. LuAnn says she’ll be staying at the hotel, but she’ll see them tomorrow. Sonja gets upset, and Ramona says she can’t do that. Dorinda says, let her do what she wants to do. Tinsley says she was originally supposed to be in that room, and offers LuAnn her room. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, LuAnn is quick to anger. She’s expected to hand over Bethenny’s room as a sign of loyalty to the crown. Tinsley says they all want to be together; she’ll take the room. LuAnn wants to keep the hotel room option open, just in case.

They go back to Bluestone Manor, and Ramona says, no more swordfish talk. Dorinda points out the head in the globe, aka the Grand Countess. LuAnn hopes that’s the only Countess losing her head this weekend. Tinsley unpacked already, and has to move her stuff, but she says, it’s not a big deal. Despite what needy Sonja has said, I think Tinsley probably makes a great guest. She’s only high maintenance with herself. In Sonja’s interview, she says, Dorinda is going out of her way, and it’s getting embarrassing. She wouldn’t do it. In Tinsley’s interview, she says, excuse me, Countess. I’ll just take my luggage. I’ll bow as I go out. She guesses they’re all serving LuAnn at this point. Tinsley says she isn’t in the fish room; Barbara is. In her interview, Dorinda says, she only has to do this for two days. Then she can explode in her cornfield. She tells the women, keep it down. The Countess is trying to sleep.

Yoga instructor Patrick arrives in the morning. He thinks the decorations are super cool. They transport him back to childhood. Dorinda says, that’s the idea. He sets up the mats. In her interview, LuAnn says yoga helps her breathe, be centered, get in touch with herself, and deal with life in general. Who knew that your mind doesn’t have to be occupied by when you can have your first drink in the morning? She gets downstairs first. Ramona and Sonja follow. Struggling, Sonja says this is why she doesn’t get on top anymore. In her interview, she says there have been more moans and groans in the class than she’s had in six months. Dorinda says LuAnn’s ass looks like two firm cherries. Forget LuAnn’s list. That’s the best selling point so far. Maybe I’ll take up yoga. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s having summer camp at Bluestone Manor, and she’s not even taking credit card payments. She tells everyone that they have to get going. Patrick says, namaste.

The ladies go to Ventfort Hall, an old Morgan estate. Dorinda thought Sonja would find it interesting. Sonja says it’s run down like her home too. Tour guide Richard greets them, and says, it’s a delight to have a relative. He gives a quick history. We find out that it was considered a cottage, and was built in 1983 by J.P. Morgan’s sister. He says, like the Roosevelts, there was a lot of intermarriage. In her interview, Sonja says, ancestry and history are important to the Morgans, since there are less of them as time goes on. In looking at this house, she’s worried about her townhouse. There’s history attached, and it’s banged up and beat up. She says the crest on the stained glass is like the one on her ring. Richard says she’s a proper Morgan then, and she says that’s what she’s been telling everyone. We flash back to the slipper incident, when Dorinda put Sonja down for wearing the Morgan crest. Richard shows them a room recreation, saying the couple slept in the same room, which was unusual for the time, but had twin beds. Sonja says she and her husband had their own rooms. She adds they’d still be together if things didn’t happen the way they did. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Sonja quickly reverted to Lady Morgan. There are some letters on a desk, and Ramona and Dorinda look through them. In her interview, Sonja says if everybody touches them, they eventually won’t make it. They should be under plexiglass. Truth! They will start to deteriorate over time from the oil and acid in people’s skin. In Ramona’s interview, she says when they first walked in, Sonja was fine. Now she’s in the Morgan zone, and she’s going to spiral down. Sonja says they don’t respect anything, and Ramona tells Dorinda that Sonja is going into the Morgan thing. She’s rambling, and Ramona is getting nervous. Dorinda goes to get Sonja, who’s still looking at things in the room. She tells Dorinda she has a similar trinket box. She’s trying to keep things for her kids. Dorinda says she has a fresh, new apartment, and Sonja says, it’s history. She needs to keep it for the kids. Ramona says, she’s lost in that world again. Dorinda says it’s not good. It’s not the way she wanted it to turn out. Sonja is still glad Dorinda brought her there.

The weather is beautiful, and Dorinda says for the first time, the women will understand why she loves Bluestone Manor. The pool is heated, and the weather is fantastic. Ramona says, the pool is delicious. Dorinda asks to talk to LuAnn. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s given the past year a lot of thought. She didn’t like what she or LuAnn said. She wants to discuss it, and get it behind them. She tells LuAnn that she wants to talk before Barbara gets there. She’s sorry for her behavior. She was hurt, but that’s no excuse, and it snowballed. She loves LuAnn like family. LuAnn misses that part of their relationship. Dorinda wants to go forward. It might not be now, but she wants peace. LuAnn appreciates her owning it. In LuAnn’s interview, she says it’s what she’s been waiting for, and it feels like there really is remorse. It finally feels like Dorinda is sincere. They hug. Dorinda says it’s time to be back where they used to be. She tells LuAnn to relax and enjoy the weekend.

Ramona asks LuAnn how it went, and if they’re in a better place. LuAnn says it was nice, and felt more real than anything they’ve said in six months. Ramona knows Dorinda missed their friendship. LuAnn tells Sonja it was heartfelt, so she can pull Barbara off of Dorinda. Sonja says Barbara meant nothing bad. She knows Barbara was coming from a good place.

Dorinda says the last time she saw Barbara, it was not great. In the spirit of good friendship and comradery, she’s invited her. Barbara marvels at the decorations on her way in. In her interview, she says she’s never seen decorations like this in her life. They’re over the top. It’s the perfect setting for a murder, and she hopes it’s not her. She tells Dorinda the house is huge, and asks how she cleans it. Dorinda says she doesn’t; she has people who do. Dorinda shows her around, and Barbara says it’s a gorgeous house. She wonders what the hell with the fish. It doesn’t exactly go. Dorinda says it’s a boy’s room. In her interview, Dorinda thinks Barbara is speaking like LuAnn’s puppet. She asks Barbara what she thinks of the $250K fish room. Barbara thinks the shark is scary, and Dorinda says it cost $12K.

Dorinda brings Barbara out to the pool. She says Ramona wouldn’t come unless the pool was heated. Sonja tells Barbara that LuAnn and Dorinda are getting along well. Barbara says she’s not unpacking, just in case. She got thrown out of Dorinda’s other house, so why wouldn’t she get thrown out of this one? She tells Sonja if she has to, she’ll call an Uber. Sonja tells her the phone service is not that great. She might be hitchhiking. On the sidelines, Ramona throws shade at Barbara’s fashion choices, and those boots have got to go. Dorinda says Barbara is showing her bellybutton. Even her daughter doesn’t do that. In her interview, Ramona says, Barbara is rough around the edges. Dorinda tells Ramona that Barbara doesn’t like the fish room. Sonja tells Barbara about LuAnn being upset about the room. She tells Barbara it’s an initiation thing. Barbara asks Dorinda why she got the fish room, and Dorinda says she showed up late. Last in, last choice. Sonja says, when swimming with the sharks, stay in the shark room. Fight sharks with sharks. Dorinda doesn’t want Barbara to be uncomfortable, and says she can call the hotel. Usually most people are appreciative. In her interview, she says she’s never seen such horrible manners. Sonja tells Barbara to let Dorinda calm down. LuAnn doesn’t need any drama.

In Bethenny’s interview, she says she had a nice time in Boston with a guy she’s been dating. She’s taken and given a punch or two in this house. We flash back to all that, and I’d totally forgotten about Carole. She says last year was the beginning of the end of a friendship. Let the games begin. She walks in, and there’s no one around. She says, it’s Halloween. Everyone is buried in some cemetery in the Berkshires. She finds them outside. Barbara says, thank God, and hugs her. Sonja says they chased everyone away. Barbara pours champagne. Bethenny says she got her period, and asks what the odds are of someone having a tampon in this cobweb of vaginas. Sonja asks Tinsley if there’s any rosé, and asks her to be their truffle pig. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she’s clearly the kid sister; the runt of the litter. She goes inside to look for wine. Dorinda greets Bethenny, who goes back in with Dorinda.

Bethenny tells Dorinda that last night, she went to see A Star is Born. She didn’t know it was about drug addiction, and the guy died for her. I guess she’s never seen the three previous versions, or absolutely anything about this one? She thought about the texts between her and Dennis during his last week. She was saying she can’t do this anymore, and he kept saying he missed her. She cried for an hour. She gets teary, saying she sat by herself in the theater crying. In her interview, she says it was a stupid thing to see the movie. Dorinda tells her that it was Dennis’s journey, and not for her to determine. It’s done, and she should live her best life with her daughter. She says it’s a lonely, but growing thing, and Bethenny can call her any time. Bethenny gives Dorinda a kit to make signs. Dorinda says, no one wants to be in the fish room. She tells Bethenny about LuAnn pulling the recovery card. Bethenny wonders why LuAnn would be talking negatively behind her back. In her interview, she says they went through an intervention, and she doesn’t feel like LuAnn owes her anything, but she has zero bandwidth for anything negative or catty.

Chef Art Smith arrives. Dorinda explains he’s repping for Adrian, the Bear Naked Chef. She thinks he came along to make sure Adrian’s apron stays on. Sonja says she’s never had meal cooked for her in the nude – that she paid for. Bethenny gripes to Sonja about LuAnn being negative. In Barbara’s interview, she says if they hadn’t stepped in, LuAnn would have lost everything that’s important to her. In Bethenny’s interview, she says LuAnn should still be in the rehab room that Bethenny paid for. She left two weeks early to do cabaret. She should worry about the room she’s supposed to be in. Sonja says LuAnn is being a diva. Ramona and LuAnn sample things in the kitchen. The food, not the naked chef. In Bethenny’s interview, she thinks Barbara is on the Jim Jones lawn. She’s been hypnotized by LuAnn. She would never do something like that. Barbara tells her that LuAnn is the same LuAnn. Bethenny says she was looking for the new Lu.

LuAnn greets Barbara, and asks how it’s going. LuAnn tells her about Dorinda coming to her. It’s the first time she acknowledged what she’d done, and it was heartfelt. She owned it. Outside, Dorinda talks to Bethenny, saying she felt badly about what LuAnn said. Bethenny says LuAnn never even talked to her about Dennis. She just talked about her cabaret. She always does. Apparently, she’s substituted that for the drinking. LuAnn asks if she’s interrupting, and Bethenny says, a little bit, and she goes back in. Dorinda laughs. She loves LuAnn, but she just doesn’t get it. Bethenny says, she doesn’t give a sh*t. In her interview, Bethenny says Dennis’s passing changed her. She’s chill. She’s not letting anything be heightened. Dorinda says LuAnn has no self-awareness. The minute she accepted that LuAnn isn’t harmful or hurtful, that it’s just who she is, it got better. Bethenny says she’s one of those friends you don’t go deep with.

The ladies check out the dining table. Barbara wants to sit at the head of table, but Ramona tells her that’s Dorinda’s seat. Barbara says she’s used to being the boss. In her interview, Ramona says, it’s not your house, bitch. Bethenny changes into pajamas, and the girls all gather in her bed, and Sonja babbles. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, Sonja peaks early. She’s in a contained environment. They’re safe, and all together in a house. Sonja says she’s busted out tonight. Whatever that means. I think it’s another euphemism for drunk. In her interview, LuAnn admits she loves drinking – we flash back to her falling into the bushes – but watching the others drinking is like watching a 3D movie without the goggles [sic]. She can’t comprehend it anymore. We flash back to Sonja trying to make out with Bethenny during a trip. Sonja starts talking about Bethenny’s jean line, and how she has big girl sizes. Ramona says the average girl is huge, and dances in the mirror. I wonder if she’s one of those people who thinks a size 8 is huge. In her interview, she says, get real. She’s hotter than hot. Maybe, but then she opens her mouth. Tinsley and Sonja chant, rosé all day. In Ramona’s interview, she says, Sonja can’t find a middle ground. She’s either all in or all out, and Ramona wishes she wouldn’t drink so much. She asks Sonja to pace herself, but Sonja says she doesn’t drink that much, so when she does, she does.

Tinsley says, thank God the Naked Chef has an apron. He asks Tinsley to round up the girls, and she yells, he’s naked! He does have a rockin’ bod. And tattoos. In her interview, Sonja says the hairy butt was a surprise, and isn’t sure how you sell that. Ramona says the hair on his body isn’t appealing. I have HDTV, where I can see every newscaster’s nose hair, and I have no idea what they’re seeing, but whatever. Tinsley says, food and naked doesn’t work for her – ever. I tend to agree, since I’m one person who does not like eating in bed. Bethenny likes him; he’s passionate. Just keep his balls away from her soup. Adrian pours drinks. Ramona says, no, when he gets to Sonja. In her interview, Ramona says she wants to keep Sonja in check. They thank Dorinda, and toast to her.

LuAnn tells Dorinda that she probably overreacted. Probably? Dude, you have not even gotten to the second step in AA. Dorinda says she hasn’t thought about it. Bethenny is busy making a sign with the kit she brought. Sonja says no one had better come near Bethenny’s bedroom tonight. Dorinda wonders what she’s talking about, and Ramona says, she’s talking sh*t. Bethenny tells Sonja to drink a glass of water first. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, there’s a line in This Is Spinal Tapthis one goes to eleven – Sonja is at fifteen. Sonja says she’s going all night, and picks up Ramona’s dog, holding the dog under her chin. In her interview, Ramona says when Sonja is wasted like this, she doesn’t want her holding Coco. Dorinda extracts the dog from Sonja.

Bethenny shows everyone her ring from Dennis, and Dorinda says Richard had given her a similar diamond. Sonja says, here we go. She doesn’t mind talking about Richard, but Dorinda doesn’t like talking about her husband. In Sonja’s interview, she thinks Dorinda’s biggest problem with her bringing up her ex, is that he’s a Morgan. She doesn’t want to be with John, but she likes John. But John is Joe Schmo. LuAnn and Dorinda go out for a smoke. Sonja talks about Dorinda putting her paws on the letters at Ventfort Hall. She starts to get animated, waving and pointing, and shouting, you don’t touch the effing Morgan letters! Ramona is sorry she’s upset, and Sonja starts bawling. Bethenny wonders, what just happened?   

Next time, LuAnn makes fun of Bethenny, Tinsley says her dad chose drinking over the family, Dorinda tells Barbara to stop being an interloper, and Bethenny says Tinsley can’t live life on Scott’s terms.

⏰ Time Flies…

Whether you’re having fun or not. How did this get to be 25 years ago?


🎸 My Favorite…

I always forget how good this song is until I hear it again.






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