Monthly Archives: May 2019

May 30, 2019 – Jax Makes a Wonderful Boss, Four Remain On the Runway, Detailed Runway, Old News, the Med is Coming & Thoughts


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sam tells Alexis, whatever Kristina’s Pledge was, it’s gone. Alexis has the feeling Shiloh isn’t done yet. Maybe it’s the Cassadine sixth sense. Sam suggests it’s Cassadine paranoia, but Alexis says, with Shiloh, that’s not possible.

Julian tells Lucas that Shiloh doesn’t know Wiley is his child, but Lucas says Shiloh is determined to find his child. What if he finds out? Julian says the records are sealed. Lucas says Shiloh didn’t know about the adoption. If he finds out, he can challenge it, and Lucas could lose his son. How can they make sure that doesn’t happen? Julian says he’ll do everything in his power make sure they hold on to Wiley.

At the hospital, Franco can’t decide on a tie, and Elizabeth tells him to go with no tie. He says this is why he married her. Lulu joins them, apologizing for being late, but Elizabeth says they haven’t started. Lulu didn’t know this was going to happen today. She thought it would be on hold on until Jordan recovered. Franco says, if she recovers.

Curtis tells Jordan that she should put this off; she can barely sit up. She says she’s still commissioner. She can do this – as long as he has her back. He says he does, and he’s getting her that kidney. She knows he will.

We see Ryan handcuffed to his hospital bed.

Nina asks if Jax is a champagne salesman on the side. He says he’s a big believer in celebrating important moments. She says it’s her favorite drink ever, and this is good stuff. Something great must have happened. He says that’s why he needs to raise a toast to the office that’s now part of his company. He tells her, say hello to the new owner of Crimson. She says, no more of this until he explains that. Jax says he made a deal with Drew, and has acquired 50% of Aurora Media. He’ll be controlling the print division, including the magazine. Nina says, amazing. Jax thinks they can use a change. His goal is to expand, not just online, but magazine and book sales. He expects it will be a good opportunity for Crimson. Nina says he’s an international finance expert. Why is he there? He says, his daughter.

Sam hears something as she’s about to go into her apartment. It’s Julian, who says he’s there about her brother. He needs her help. She lets him in, rolling her eyes.

Alexis meets Lucas at the MetroCourt. She says he told her it was urgent; will Brad be joining them? He says Brad is home with Wiley to make sure no one gets to him. Alexis asks if they’re worried about anyone in particular. Lucas says, Wiley’s birth parent.

Willow is on the phone with Diane. She says she was just worried, and thanks Diane for talking her down. Chase comes in with flowers for her, and she says she was arranging a meeting with her lawyer. She asks what the flowers are for, and he says he’s so sorry for leaving her hanging at the Nurses Ball. She says, to catch a killer; that’s his job. He still promises make it up, but in the meantime, talk to him. What happened after he left the Nurses Ball?

Franco and Elizabeth go into Jordan’s room. Outside in the hallway, Lulu writes. She dove into this story about a notorious criminal on the anniversary of his crimes, but the focus of the story changed. It transformed from the account of a killer to that of his survivors, and those who brought him to justice. Heroes, likely or not. Jordan tells Franco that for his bravery and sacrifice, the PCPD recognizes him. She asks him to accept the award from a grateful city. Lulu writes, the story does not have a tidy or happy ending. Not for its heroes or villains. There’s still one chapter left to write. We see Ryan lying in bed, probably calculating his next move.

Nina tells Jax that she’s an idiot, but he finds that hard to believe. She says, Josslyn is his daughter; she’s lovely. He says, it’s been hard being away so long. He and Carly were married. The divorce was rather acrimonious. He and Carly are great; it’s Sonny who he can’t stand. After their latest altercation, Sonny had him deported. It’s a long story, but when the restrictions were lifted, he looked for business opportunities there. ELQ and Aurora were at the top of his list, but Michael is running ELQ now, and doing a great job. Aurora was a better fit. That’s why he’s there.

Curtis tells Jordan, enough for one day. She says she can do the rest of her work lying down. He asks if she can’t take it easy. She needs her strength for transplant time. She asks him to hand her the phone, and he says, for what? She wants to make a quick call to the station. He thinks she should conserve her energy, and she says she’ll let him dial. He says, unbelievable.

Franco tells Elizabeth this time he’s getting something from the police with his name on it because he did something good. Elizabeth says, heroic. Lulu says, a mayoral commendation isn’t out of the question. Her mother is grateful to him; her too. If he hadn’t put his life on the line and taken the risk, Ryan might never have been discovered. She thanks him. He says he’ll catch up with them. He has something to take care of.

Chase asks Willow to clarify. Shiloh suspects Wiley is his child? She says he’s convinced the baby is out there, but has no idea it’s Wiley. Not yet, but he’s going to put it together because Nina can’t mind her own business. He suggests they focus on solutions. She says, if Shiloh gets near that boy… but Chase says she’s got room to breathe. There’s not much Shiloh can do from a hospital bed.

Alexis asks Lucas if the birth mother is pressing for a relationship with Wiley. He says, she intends to follow through on the terms, and Alexis says, legally, she has to. He says he’s worried about the father. Alexis says she thought he was out of the picture, and the birth mother couldn’t even contact him. Lucas says, that’s not the whole truth. The birth mother didn’t tell him. Alexis says, so she never afforded the birth father the opportunity to exercise his parental rights. Lucas asks, how bad is it? She asks how much the birth father knows, and Lucas says he knows the child might exist, but not who or where he is. However, he’s determined to find out.

Sam asks Julian why Lucas didn’t come to her directly. Julian says Lucas doesn’t know he’s there. Wiley is in danger of being taken away. Sam thought Lucas and Brad were the legal parents. He says, for now, but there’s an issue that could throw the adoption into question. She asks if the birth mother changed her mind, and he says, the problem is the birth father. She thought that was a non-issue, and he says, the less she knows, the better. She tells him, that’s not how she operates, but he suggests she make an exception. If something goes wrong, she has plausible deniability. It’s that serious. She asks what he has in mind.

Nina says, so Jax is in the same city as a man he despises; a man who kept him from his daughter. To give Sonny credit, Jax says Josslyn was allowed visit, but he does hate Sonny. There were a lot of problems, and playing games, but he realized he had to focus on himself and his daughter. With respect to Carly, he has to say that Sonny has been a decent stepfather. Nina says, he doesn’t like Sonny, but they love him. He says, exactly right. That’s why he needed a workaround, and Aurora was it. He thinks he can make money running it, and he’ll be close to Josslyn. He hopes Sonny doesn’t drive him crazy. Nina thinks it’s mature, sucking up for the greater good, him included. He says, Josslyn is worth it. Nina says she feels the same way. She has two daughters, and there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for them. He says they’re lucky to have her; as is Crimson. She says it seems like he doesn’t know the first thing running a magazine. Let her run it autonomously. No muss; no fuss. He says, no deal.

Nina tells Jax that she’s a creative person. He says he can see that, and she says she needs to trust her instincts and vision, but sometimes – not often – she does a shoot, spends money on it, and it doesn’t work out, so they don’t publish it. She learns from that, and figures out what works and what doesn’t. She doesn’t want to be told that since she dropped cash on a shoot, and have to use it. Because, no. She doesn’t need to be told not to spend money on fresh flowers. They help her to be creative and productive. Jax says, the vase can stay. She says she doesn’t work on Friday, except before a deadline, and then, only until noon. He hears her, and Friday will never be an issue. He says she knows the emotional reason he bought into the company, but there are also financial ones. The assets haven’t even been maximized, especially in the print department. I’m guessing because Drew has been kind of busy with other things since he bought Aurora. He says he’s done his research, and the magazine used to make 100% profit. Now they make 40%, which is still good, but if they adjust expectation, it will be better. Nina likes his outlook. He says he’s looking for the best long term bet, and thinks it’s Crimson. In a world where magazines are dropping like flies, they’ve expanded, thanks to her. But as good as she is – and she’s very good – she can always be better.

Willow wonders what happens when Shiloh gets suspicious, and calls the police, but Chase says Shiloh’s not talking. She doesn’t think it would be shocking that someone went after him, and that’s Chase’s guess too. She says, too bad they didn’t finish the job. Chase says Shiloh doesn’t want his image tarnished, and it’s easier to help her bend the law if he’s not worried she’ll break it. She says she’d do anything to keep her son from that monster, but Chase promises he won’t let it come to that. He has to follow up on something, but says he’ll see her soon. I’m surprised Nina isn’t in the hallway, having discovered a way to clone herself for just this purpose.

Finn goes to Jordan’s room. She says, the groom-to-be. Curtis says he heard Finn and Anna made it official, and congratulates him. Jordan says she heard it was on stage at the Nurses Ball. She knows how that feels from experience; nothing can top it. He says being engaged isn’t the only news he has. Curtis says, please say Ryan is awake and they can have his kidney.

Ryan sees Franco looming over him.

Nina asks Jax how she can be better with the budget she’s allocated. He says they can work smarter. Make the product more attractive. He’s thinking exotic locations; big parties with A-list guests. Make it a prestige magazine. Nina says, sounds good. He says they live in a world that’s inundated with content. He knows they’re chic and cutting edge, but not pretentious, and won’t take a chance on ruining that. He’s not going to sacrifice quality to save a few bucks. He wants to make the brand more recognizable, but to do it, he has to cut production costs by a third. They can take that money, and put it into promotion. Nina doesn’t think that’s possible, and he says, what if he helped? She says this is probably a bad thing to say to her boss, but she doesn’t know how to read a balance sheet. He asks if she went to business school, and she says, no. He asks if she wants to learn, and she says she does. He says, let’s get started now.    

Julian tells Sam that he wants to eliminate the paper trail. If the birth father can identify his son, he can’t get to him. They need to destroy the records. Sam says, it’s not that simple. One problem is that, although the documents are closed on their end, Diane must have a copy. Julian says he’ll handle Diane.  Sam says maybe he should use one of his old associates, but he doesn’t want to contact them anymore. She’s Wiley’s aunt and godmother, and she knows what it’s like to have a child ripped away. She doesn’t want that to happen to her brother.

Alexis tells Lucas, if the birth father goes down that avenue, and files for custody, he’ll have to clear a score of legal hurdles to trace the baby to them. Julian says he’s the leader of a cult; DOD. She asks if he’s talking about Shiloh, and he says he is. What do they do? Alexis says, fight like hell. Keep the records sealed, and have a contingency plan in case they lose. She tells Lucas, go home to his son and husband. There’s nothing he can do right now. She’ll take care of it. She’s got this. He leaves.

A guy brings fancy water in a champagne bucket to Alexis’s table. She says she didn’t order it, but he says a gentleman has requested she wait. He wants to see her, and wanted it to be a surprise.

Lulu and Elizabeth go to Willow’s classroom. She says they just missed the kids, who went to the library (or something), but Elizabeth says they’re not there to sit in on the class. Lulu says they want to make sure Willow has a class there next year. Lulu adds, and for years to come.

Finn tells Curtis and Jordan that the operation was a success. Ryan will live to see his day in court, and with full kidney functions. There’s nothing to preclude him from donating. Curtis says, he’s viable match. When can they do the surgery?  Finn says they can’t do it without Ryan’s consent.

Ryan says he could have sworn he slipped the blade in for a fatal wound, and Franco says he has to give it up for the GH staff. They know what they’re doing. He asks if Ryan would like some art therapy. It could be fun. Ryan laughs, then has a coughing fit.  Franco tells him not to die until he gets to mark the occasion. Today would have been Kiki’s birthday. Ryan can’t understand the fascination with her. He found her boring, insipid, and dull; nothing like her mother. Franco suggests the talk about Ava. She exposed him for the idiot that he is. How does that feel? He walked into her trap; that must have hurt. How does he feel being exposed as predictable? She knew how to make him come running, and that’s exactly what he did. Now what? He’s got the rest of life in prison. No Ava, no girl, nothing. Just him and the sad path he’s laid for himself. That’s his reality now. Franco loves that.

Jax pulls up the Aurora balance sheet to show Nina. He explains which color is how much was spent, and how much is spent per month. He shows her the profits, and she says, they’re good. He says, imagine if they move this $250K there. He can do it without her ever running a shoot she doesn’t believe in. Think ahead. Know what they have to shoot before they invest. He thinks it’s doable. Nina does too, but has one problem. She’s getting married, and this is going to be a lot of work. He asks when it’s supposed to happen, and she says, soon. He tells her to do what she can, and he’ll pick up the slack, immediately becoming everyone’s dream boss. Valentin hopes he’s not interrupting. Nina asks if his ears were burning; they were talking about him. Jax says he heard they were getting married. He looks forward to working with Nina. It’ll be fun. Valentin asks what he missed, and Nina says, a lot. Jasper Jax is her new boss.

Elizabeth tells Willow, it’s a petition demanding that the school keep their best teacher. Lulu says, every parent and student signed it, with the exception of Nina and Valentin. Everyone else leapt at the chance to show their support. Elizabeth says she made a positive impact on her students’ lives, and the principal needs to know she fits the school to a T. Willow wonders if it’s possible.

Sam asks Julian how she’s supposed to make an informed decision without information. How does she know he’s not just jumping the gun? He asks if she thinks he’d be there if he had a choice? She’s not saying no. Not yet. Alexis can see if Brad and Lucas have a chance in court. Maybe it isn’t as bad as Julian thinks. Julian says, God forbid the birth father should get custody, and Wiley becomes a cult follower.

Finn tells Curtis that they all want it to be a slam dunk, and Curtis wants make sure it is. In the hallway, Chase asks Finn if Jordan is up for a visit, but Finn thinks they should let her rest. Chase wants to throw a party for Finn and Anna. Finn asks who Chase wants to invite, and Chase says their dad and his mom. He asks if Finn doesn’t want him to do it, and Finn tells Chase he doesn’t want to put anything on the calendar just yet. Anna will want to be included.

Ryan says Franco is putting on a happily married act with his vapid wife and kids. Please. Franco envies him. The most fun Franco has had in years is when he took credit for Ryan’s work. He wouldn’t have been so convincing if he didn’t love it. Franco says, you know what he loves? Ryan lost at his own game. He loves that. That’s what’s true. Enjoy prison. He says, it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy, and leaves.

Jax approaches Alexis’s table. She says she knew it, and asks what they’re drinking to. He says his acquisition of half of Aurora Media; the print division. It needs a lot of work, but he’s excited about Crimson. She says, Crimson means Nina. Nina means Valentin. And Valentin means trouble with a capital T. They clink glasses.

Elizabeth asks Willow if they can take the petition to the principal. Willow says, yes, but she doesn’t think it will do any good. She’ll treasure it forever, though. Elizabeth says they’re not giving up. There are also other jobs, and she’ll have great references. Willow says she’ll take any job; lawyers are expensive. Lulu asks if she’s suing the school, or Nina. Willow says she’s not suing anyone. She’s preparing to be sued.

Sam asks Julian if he’s talking about DOD, and he asks if she’s heard of it. She says, Wiley’s father is Shiloh? She’s in. However bad Julian thinks he is, he’s worse. She’ll do whatever it takes to keep Wiley away from him.

Alexis tells Jax, all she’s saying is, watch out for Valentin. He says he’d never buy something without doing his homework. Valentin has a good job running Cassadine Industries. Alexis says, he’s not a good human. Look at what happened to Nikolas. Jax says that’s not a good subject. Alexis says, point taken, and he says, so is hers. She says Valentin is in an entirely different league. He’s as dangerous as Jax’s brother. She wants him to promise to only deal with Valentin when required, and he says he can handle it. He instructs her on squeezing lemons into her water, and she asks if it’s a sober version of cutting loose. He tells her, just put the lemon in. She says she missed him, and he says she doesn’t have to anymore. He’s there to stay.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s energized; she has so many ideas. She knows what a deficit column is. Jax showed her. Valentin says if she has business questions, she can come to him. She says Jax is a team player. He’s so invested in the magazine, which is good for Crimson, and good for her. Valentin says what’s good for her is good for him. He’s glad to see her happy. She says she’s so excited. You’d think someone new would be a bad thing, but it’s not. It’s fantastic. She thinks it’s going to be incredible. No; she knows it.

Curtis tells Finn that he wants to put Ryan behind bars, but he has a kidney to donate first.

Curtis goes into Ryan’s room. Ryan says he’s a popular man today. He asks how the wife is, and Curtis says, still kicking. He saved Ryan’s life, now Ryan is going to do the same for Jordan. He’s going to consent to donate a kidney. Ryan says that’s major surgery. He’ll have to mull it over. Curtis says, the answer is yes.

Robert tells Anna that she’s the love of his life, Scotty tells Margaux that he’s doing her a favor, and Ryan asks Curtis what his kidney is worth.

👗 And Then There Were Four…

It was time for the final four to be chosen on Project Runway. The challenge was for the designers to create their biggest and best look, as well as designing an experimental art installation. Cardi B and Bergdorf Goodman’s Linda Fargo were the guest judges. Garo told Tessa, a word to the wise, don’t put anything raw on the runway. Tessa’s heart was still pounding from last week, but she knew there was a way to finish a hem while still making it look unfinished. Which already sounded like too much work to me. Christian reminded them that this was the last challenge before the finale. As well as getting a spread in Elle magazine and a mentorship with a guy whose name I don’t remember, but seemed really cool, the winner would get $250K, plus $50K to put up a studio. My first thought was where were they going to put up a studio, even with combining those two figures? NYC and LA are a little expensive. The designers were instructed to create their version of an experiential fashion show, and bring forth who they are as designers. They were to go bigger and bolder. There would be over 100 industry insiders at the show to determine the final four. Those four would go on to create an entire collection, and present it to the fashion industry. When the models were chosen, last week’s winner Sebastian chose first, and chose who would go next, and so on. Tessa was picked last. She said it was like getting picked last for kickball, and I told her she was getting picked last because she’s an a-hole.

With set designers/builders to assist them, the contestants worked out their rooms. Hester was going for a rococo forest idea; Bishme stayed with his roots, and Baltimore blooming; and Garo wanted a futuristic theme, with robotic hands dressing the model, and the guests having the ability to interact with the space. Tessa was also sticking with her roots, choosing a ceramics/art studio scene, since she was best inspired by her upbringing, and the judges thought she needed passion. Sebastian wanted a palace in Greece. He said he wasn’t a good storyteller, and was running out of ideas and energy. I thought, hmm… you might not belong here. The designers got a $500 budget, and I wondered if that included the sets, but they never said.

Christian questioned the designers as they got busy shopping for supplies. Hester told him that she was going with a rococo bondage picnic theme, and we all wondered what that was. I think Hester did too. Tessa was focusing on the philosophy of wabi-sabi (I know, too close to wasabi, right?) which translates loosely to beauty in imperfection. This explained her love of unfinished hems. The designers had a meeting with the mentor guy, who said his company did a diagnostic of what works for their brand and doesn’t, and said, the glamour of fashion isn’t glamorous. Good to know. Christian added that basically, nothing lasts forever. He told them that they could invent anything they wanted. There was no client and no criteria, and they could create their own fantasy room. I found it interesting that Christian’s comments and questions to the designers as they were working, reminded me of acting class critiques. Sebastian didn’t like his dress, saying it wasn’t what he had in mind, even though it was absolutely amazing, abundant with that sculpture-like ribbon candy pleating. Bishme wanted a more abstract Baltimore for his room, and made the woman helping him do it over.

In a dramatic moment, Sebastian decided he wanted to go home. He didn’t want to do nothing [sic]. He was giving up. Garo wanted to smack him, Hester wanted to join him, and he went and sat on an orange couch to chill. After a bottled water, he decided to keep fighting for his dreams and goals. He was probably just dehydrated. Christian got more nervous than anyone, except for Sebastian.

Hester’s room had her model serving tea from inside of a picture frame in a forest. It was pretty cool. No one seemed that keen on her outfit, which was all kinds of red/black/white plaids, with chains and such, but I loved the skirt and would definitely wear it. Not so much Cardi B when asked about the top, which had too many O-rings. Tessa’s model sat at a potter’s wheel, surrounded by ceramics. Her color palette of earth tones was lovely, and although the judges weren’t thrilled with the dress, they seemed to finally get where she was coming from. Garo’s intergalactic changing station got raves, especially with the real arms helping the model. His dress had layers that could be stripped, and featured his signature corset. It was definitely impressive. Sebastian’s dress was well received, but not his room. The Grecian palace idea fell flat, and nearly everyone said it felt oppositional to the gown. Cardi B – who I have to mention had the most beautiful gold, silver, and black hair – said the dress was her favorite, and she could forgive the room because of the dress. Bishme’s redesign of his room paid off, and his rose gold blossom of a gown bloomed in the middle. The judges did find some technical flaws in their close-up examination of the dress though.

The judges took a look at the entire season of each designer’s clothes, and there was a little trip down Memory Lane. Garo won the challenge, and promised they wouldn’t be disappointed. I’ve liked his stuff, and I’m all for the corset look. Makes you look thinner. Sebastian was the next to stay in, and he cried. Tessa always looks like she wants to cry, so it’s hard to figure out what she’s feeling. Bishme was in, and was paralyzed. Literally. He was having a hard time moving. Tessa was finally out, after I gave up rooting for that. Brandon told her not to look at it as a loss, and said she would do vital and important work. Um… we’re not talking about curing cancer. She said she was disappointed, but felt like she’d grown, and thanked them for the opportunity. She whined a little backstage, while she sulked on the orange couch while waiting for the others. The final four were told that they would be creating ten looks to be presented to the fashion world in NYC, using a $10K budget. Christian told them to keep working hard, and gave them two bottles of champagne. There was a group hug. Next time, Bishme either gets bad news or has a breakdown. I can’t tell.

⭐ Best quote this season: I have bags under my eyes and they’re not Chanel or Gucci. – Bishme

🔎 The Details…

And my favorite PR recap.

‘Project Runway’ recap: ‘The Art of Fashion’ and the science of deciding the final four [UPDATING LIVE BLOG]

📠 Not New News…

Pretty old as a matter-of-fact, but I was interested in how Project Runway had changed, since it didn’t really capture my attention during previous attempts to watch it.

🚤 Also on Bravo tonight was Captain Sandy’s Yachtrageous Moments, a retrospective of Below Deck Mediterranean, and a reminder it’s coming back. It’s new season starts Monday, June 3rd, at 9 pm. This season, the captain and her crew will be going to France. I like the show because this is the closest I’ll ever get to that blue water – hell, it’s the closest I’ll get to any real vacation – but my heart still belongs to the original Below Deck and the Stud of the Sea. I just like the cast better on that one. And Kate’s my girl.

💭 Friday Thoughts…









May 29, 2019 – Some Pledges Are Returned, NYC Descends On Miami, Austen Isn’t Charmed, a Whole Lotta Lu & a Lotte Walking


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


I was editing during a tornado warning. Watch? Whichever the bad one is. So please forgive any gaffes.

General Hospital

Sonny wonders why Carly can’t admit the lunch he made is better than frozen pizza. She says she loved every bite, but there isn’t anything much better than frozen pizza. Jax walks in, and says she loved it when she was pregnant. She says she didn’t know he was coming over, and he says he thought they should talk while Josslyn is in school. They need to figure out how to do this without killing each other.

Lulu delivers food to Maxie at Crimson. Maxie says she’s so swamped, she forgot to get breakfast. She’s doing a feature on tie dye gowns. It’s back. Lulu says, groovy. She tells Maxie that if she wasn’t eating with her, she’d be eating at her desk alone. Maxie asks if she’s working on anything interesting. Lulu says, the return to the single lady lifestyle.

At the MetroCourt, Sasha tells Nina that her feet hurt from wearing heels, and her head hurts. She had coffee and Ibuprofen for breakfast. Actual food will be good. Nina says Maxie is holding down the fort at Crimson, so they can have a leisurely lunch. She tells Sasha it looks like she and Michael were having fun at the Nurses Ball, and Sasha says Michael is a lot of fun. Nina says too bad he deserted her for Willow.

Michael stops by Willow’s classroom. He says he was there to speak to his cousin Jake’s class for Career Day. It’s going to be his fallback career, He wanted to stop by to see how she was doing. She says she’s kind of a mess. Things got tense last night. Lucas and brad know that Wiley is her son. It’s only a matter of time before Shiloh finds out.

Sam and Jason go to Shiloh’s hospital room. Shiloh asks if they found the Pledges. Sam says they were where he said they’d be. He asks why they’re there. Does it please Sam to see him like that? She says, quite a bit actually. Jason says, this is only the beginning.

Alexis says, the secret Kristina gave Shiloh is about her? Kristina says she’s so, so sorry.

Jax tells Carly and Sonny, in some ways, now Josslyn will deal with the most difficult part of grief; going back to normal. The memorials are over, and the big gestures have been made, and she has to go on with life without Oscar. Carly says Josslyn is emotionally raw, but she thinks it’s good that she’s getting out. Sonny says Josslyn made it clear she doesn’t want them walking on eggshells. Jax says the more they check in on her, the more she feels obligated to reassure them, instead of walking in her own feelings. Carly says she offered to take Josslyn to grief counseling, but she flat out refused. Jax says if she starts acting out, they can revisit that, but it’s more important that the three of them work together to help her. Sonny asks why they wouldn’t, and Jax says Sonny despises him, and the feeling is mutual. It’s easier to keep a truce when he’s on the other side of the planet, but that’s no longer the case. Besides Josslyn, he has other business to keep him there.

Maxie asks since when is Lulu a single lady, and Lulu says, since this assignment. She’s posing as single on dating apps. Maxie asks if something happened with her and Dante, but Lulu says, nothing has happened on that front. Maxie asks why her editor is having her troll dating apps; is it a tell all? Lulu says, it’s actually a crime story. Has she heard about the recent burglaries? Women are being robbed while their out on a date they were matched with online. The burglar figures out where they live, and robs them while they’re waiting for their date. She’s trying the same apps, and hopefully, they can catch him. Maxie thinks it’s fluffy for an investigative reporter. On the other hand, it could have a major impact on Lulu’s personal life. I just have to mention that for an investigative reporter, Lulu is also using the wrong wording. She’s mixing burglary with robbery. The former is breaking and entering; the latter is stealing from an actual person. I know this because I was burgled years ago.

Nina tells Sasha that Michael is a Corinthos, but he’s also a Quartermaine. She thinks he should exhibit manners and class. Sasha stops her, saying they didn’t plan on attending together. Michael found her stalled, trying to psyche herself to walk the red carpet alone. He went with her, and then they stayed together. Nina says, until Willow got deserted by her date, the cop. Sasha says Michael owed her nothing, and she wasn’t offended; she was impressed. He’s a great guy, and if things were different… Nina says, what things? Sasha says she’s not in the right place for a serious relationship. She wants to figure out her career first. She might not even be in Port Charles months from now. She loves it there, but if the right job came along… Nina says she wouldn’t be close to Michael somewhere else. Sasha says that she and Michael aren’t serious, but Nina says she could be open to possibilities.

Willow apologizes to Michael for pulling him away from Sasha. He says Sasha completely understood, but she feels bad for ruining his night. He tells her that she can make it up to him by letting him help her. She doesn’t have to solve this on her own. The more allies she has, the more she’s in a position to keep Wiley safe from Shiloh. She says, Shiloh is relentless. If he finds out, he’ll stop at nothing until he gets custody.

Sam tells Shiloh that she’s glad she went back. It was tough, seeing the table where he almost raped her, because she was too drugged up to fight him off. Then she had a crystal clear image of Jason ripping him off of her, and throwing him down the stairs like garbage. It feels good, knowing he’s the helpless one. Shiloh says he gave them what they wanted, but Jason says, too late. He messed with the wrong people. His best option is to get a lawyer, and cut a deal. He might be safer in prison – or not. They leave. Shiloh broods angrily.

Kristina tells Alexis that she can’t believe she did this. Alexis tells her, whatever she said, they’ll deal with it. Kristina says she didn’t mean for it… Alexis says, of course (🍷) she didn’t; she was manipulated. Kristina says she still chose do it, and sell Alexis out to impress Shiloh, and further herself in DOD. She doesn’t know if Alexis can forgive her. Alexis says nothing Kristina does is unforgivable; at least not to her. Kristina says Alexis doesn’t know what she told him. Alexis says, tell her what was in the Pledge.

Sasha tells Nina that she and Michael agreed to have fun and keep it casual. Nina asks Sasha to hear her out. Sasha is beautiful, strong, and confident. Michael likes that. He likes her, but he’s a sucker for a victim. Willow could give a master class in that. She’s a fragile flower, and Michael needs to rescue her. Sasha says she thought Nina didn’t like Willow because she overstepped as a teacher. Nina says, she’s unfair to Charlotte, blames her for every conflict, and gives Charlotte no benefit of the doubt. It drives her crazy. She needs to make sure Charlotte knows she’s not alone, and has someone by her side. Nina thinks she was triggered by a conversation she overheard about Willow giving up her baby for adoption. There’s nothing wrong with that, but she didn’t even tell the father. It triggered what her mother did to her, stealing Sasha away. Sasha says none of their stories are that simple. She’s sure Willow’s isn’t either. Nina wants Willow to give Charlotte the benefit of the doubt; maybe she should do the same for Willow.

Carly asks if the opportunity Jax mentioned is coming to fruition, and he says, it’s looking good. Carly says Josslyn will love having him there. Sonny asks if Jax is still looking for a place. Jax says Lucy is a chatterbox, but she’s shown him some places he likes. Kate’s place is still in the running. He’s sure they would love having him as a neighbor. Sonny says he’d love nothing more. Jason arrives, and Carly walks Jax out.

Jason tells Sonny that Shiloh was keeping the Pledges in the tower. He got them all. Sam is handling Kristina’s Pledge, but there’s another that might be of interest to Sonny. He gives Sonny the envelope with Margaux’s name on it.

Margaux visits Shiloh at the hospital. He starts to get up, but she says he’s not supposed to be doing that. He gets back in bed, saying he knows better than to go against the DA. How did she know he was there? She says she was concerned about him, and made some calls. What happened? He says, nothing, but she says, it doesn’t look that way. He says, it was just an accident; it was nothing. She asks if Sam or Jason were involved.

Kristina tells Alexis, Shiloh called it the gift, but he really want blackmail leverage. She can’t believe she fell for it. Alexis says, it’s okay, but Kristina says, it’s not. Shiloh was specific that it be something major that could do damage if it went public. Sam comes in, and says, it’s over. Kristina asks what she’s doing there, and what the envelope is. Did Shiloh give to her? Sam says, he did, but not willingly. She was never actually a part of DOD. It was just an act. Kristina says, oh my God, this entire time she was blaming herself for setting Sam up to be hurt by Shiloh, and Sam was lying to her. She asks if Alexis knew, and Alexis says she went along with the plan because she thought it was best for Kristina. Sam says she was worried about Kristina, and wanted to find out as much about Shiloh as she could to keep Kristina safe. Kristina says Sam stayed after Jason rescued her; why? Sam says, to get this, showing her the envelope.

Maxie asks Lulu if it isn’t too close to home; going on dates while Dante is away. Lulu says she’s just swiping right and setting a trap. Maxie thinks Lulu should talk to Peter. If she’s not comfortable with that, Maxie can. Lulu says she can’t keep asking favors from her boss. She’ll never be respected by her peers/ Maxie says if Lulu catches the creep who’s preying on the women, and Dante gets wind of it, it could be major incentive for him to come back home. That came out wrong. Lulu says she doesn’t want him to come home out of jealousy, but when he’s ready and healed. If that ever happens.

Michael tells Willow that he doesn’t know about that. She’s in a strong position, and should keep it that way. Diane is a helluva attorney, and a master at legal loopholes. She’s like family, and if she knows how fond he is of Willow, she won’t stop until she wins the case. She hopes it doesn’t get to that point. Michael doesn’t think it will. Willow can’t thank him enough for his support. She doesn’t know what she would have done without him last night. They hug. No surprise, Nina sees.

Carly thanks Jax for coming by, and being inclusive with Sonny. Jax says, it’s not just talk. They need to present a united front need to support Josslyn. Carly says Josslyn will have it, and Jax says, as long as he’s not deported again. She says, no excuses. Sonny was wrong, but Jax has been wrong too. Not as wrong, but maybe. Jax says, it’s a trap. Rehashing who did what is a war no one wins. It’s a losing game, and he doesn’t play to lose.

Sonny asks if Jason opened it, and Jason says he had to make sure it was legit. Margaux admitted she had proof that her mom conspired with Joe Skully to murder her father, and she covered up the crime. If Sonny wants leverage against the DA, he’s got it.

Shiloh asks what makes Margaux think Sam or Jason was involved? She says she ran into Sonny, and he had some interesting things say about Shiloh. Shiloh says, like what? and she says, pretty damning stuff. He tells her, consider the source. Sonny is a known criminal, who’s decided he’s the enemy, but what Sonny said apparently got under her skin. She says Sonny said Shiloh shouldn’t be trusted. Shiloh asks if she believes him.

Kristina asks how Sam got the Pledge. She didn’t even know where Shiloh kept them. Sam says he kept them in the records room at the DOD house, but he moved them to the tower for safekeeping. Alexis asks how Sam found them, and Sam says, Jason can be persuasive. Kristina asks if Jason was in on it this whole time. The breakup? Sam says, fake. Kristina says, it makes total sense looking back. After all Sam and Jason have been though, why would Sam leave him for a creep like Shiloh. And she bought it; what an idiot. Alexis tells her, stop saying that. She was subject to manipulation for months. Sam says they wanted to keep her safe, and Kristina says, so that’s it? Sam says they torched most of them, except Kristina’s. It’s up to her to choose what she wants to do with it.

Maxie wishes she could help Lulu, but Lulu says it’s not Maxie’s responsibility to make it better, and she’s doing plenty by being a friend. Maxie thanks Lulu for lunch. She’s scared to leave her desk, since she’s waiting for a budget something-or-other, but she’ll walk Lulu to the elevator. Lulu leaves, and Maxie calls Peter. She says she has her fingers crossed that Dante comes back, but wishes she could do something to make it right. She looks at her computer, and says, what?! She tells Peter it’s some idiot from the budget office. She’ll call him back. She makes a call to Tom in the budget department, and says, it’s clearly a mistake. She was transferring money from September to cover August. What does he mean? That can’t be right. Crimson is autonomous. She says, since when? She doesn’t believe it. She’s coming there, and he’s going to walk her through it, line by line.

Michael tells Willow, know that he’s there for her, and Willow thanks him. He leaves, and Nina sneaks back. She asks how it is every time she sees Willow, Willow is with Michael? Willow says, unbelievable. Is Nina stalking her now? Nina says, actually, no, and Willow asks what she wants. Nina says her daughter suggested she clear air about what happened. Willow asks if she’s there to apologize. She can start by admitting she was out of line. Nina asks how it is nothing is ever Willow’s fault? Willow bumped into her. Willow was having a phone conversation about her personal life at the Nurses Ball. Willow says if it makes Nina feel any better, Willow’s entire life has gone to hell thanks to her.

Carly tells Jax that she’s glad he’s staying, and don’t worry about Sonny. They’re all committed to getting along for Josslyn’s sake. He appreciates it. Carly goes back in, and Sonny asks if he’s gone. He’s going to call Lucy and make an offer on Connie’s property. He can tear down the wall, and make a guest house. Jason says it’s extra ground for security to cover, but Sonny says, it beats having Jax as a neighbor. Carly thought they were committed to getting along, but Sonny says, of all places, Jax is going to live next door? Carly suggests they take a break before making a huge real estate purchase. She asks Jason what happened with Shiloh, and Jason says he’s in the hospital. Jason got the Pledges. Sonny has to go, and Carly says Jason must be happy. Shiloh’s got no power anymore, so there’s no reason Jason and Sam can’t be together, right?

Kristina reads the paper, and says, it’s her Pledge. Alexis asks if she’s sure. Kristina says the flashdrive has her original recording. Shiloh transcribed it and had her sign it before what was supposed to be her initiation. Sam says it’s possible another copy exists, but Alexis says, Kristina has the original version. Anything else is hearsay. Sam says Kristina is free from Shiloh and DOD. Kristina asks what she should do with it, and Alexis says, whatever she wants. She can tell them, or never say another word, and they’ll respect her decision. Sam agrees. Kristina goes to the fireplace and sets it on fire. The three of them watch it burn.

Michael finds Sasha, and says he feels terrible for ditching her. She says he’s being too hard on himself. It’s not like they planned it. They decided at the last minute; not a big deal. HE says he still feels compelled to make it up to her. They agreed to be friends with benefits. She says, that doesn’t sound good, but he says, hear him out. He likes to get to know his friends. She asks if that wouldn’t make them strangers, and he says she’s not making this easy. She says he’s too cute when he’s flustered. He was wondering if she’d like to grab dinner tonight. She says, that sounds like a date, but he says, just two adults sitting across from each other eating food. She says, it sounds romantic, and he promises to order lot of garlic. Sasha says because they don’t want to risk developing feelings. Michael suggests they cross that bridge when they come to it. Sasha says, deal, and they shake hands.

Nina asks how she destroyed Willow’s life, and Willow says it’s none of her business. Nina asks if she’s thought of teaching theater. She has a flair for the dramatic. Willow asks if Nina came there to insult her, but Nina says she came talk to her about being involved with Michael. Whoa, wait. Didn’t she come there to give Willow the benefit of the doubt? Nina says, Willow literally can’t help herself. She sees Michael having great time with Sasha, but needs him in her back pocket, for when her boyfriend neglects her. Or maybe she’s more attracted to Michael’s bank account than the detective’s. Willow says she’s not defending her relation with Michael or anyone else. She turns to the blackboard, and ignores Nina. Nina says she doesn’t need to. She saw what she needed to see. She tells Willow, have a nice break. She’s assuming it will be a long one. I really wish Nina wasn’t acting like such a tool. I’ve always been on her side.

Carly tells Jason, it must have been torture, spending time apart from Sam. Jason says it wasn’t fun. Carly says she’s happy Kristina is safe, but now Jason needs to prioritize. He says he thought she was doing that for him. She says she is. He’s been home almost two years, and now nothing is standing in the way of him and Sam being together for the rest of their lives. He says he’ll keep it in mind, but there’s something he has to take care of. She says he’s avoiding the conversation, and he says, that too. They hug, and he leaves.

Sam takes Kristina’s hand. The doorbell rings. It’s Sonny, and Alexis steps outside to talk. He asks, what’s going on, and she says Sam brought Kristina’s Pledge. It’s currently burning. Sonny says it’s probably for the better. They’re in the clear, and it can’t be used anymore. Alexis doesn’t know the details, but the secret isn’t about him. It’s about her.

Kristina asks if Sam went through the initiation. Sam says, part of it. Nothing she can’t survive. Kristina doesn’t know how to thank her, and Sam says she doesn’t have to. Kristina is her sister, and she’d do anything for her. Sam holds her.

Margaux tells Shiloh that she’s not sure what to think. She wants to believe in him, but Sonny said he has proof Shiloh committed criminal acts. He showed her things in the attic when they crossed paths. Shiloh says, they crossed paths? and Margaux says Sonny called her, saying he needed her there; he was looking for Shiloh. He kept insisting that Shiloh was a con man and a criminal, and he had proof. Shiloh says, manufactured proof. No doubt Sonny is upset with him because he’s been more of a father figure to Kristina than Sonny ever has. He asks if she believes him, and she says, yeah. She just needed to hear it from him. She says she’ll let the DOD members know he’s okay. He says before she goes, there’s something else he needs from her.

Sam comes out, and hugs Sonny. He appreciates everything she’s done for Kristina. He asks if she thinks Kristina is up to seeing him, and Sam thinks she’d love to see him. He goes inside, and Sam says, says it’s over. They’ll never know what secret Kristina shared with that monster. Alexis says she may want tell them someday, but Sam says she wouldn’t push it. Whatever Kristina’s Pledge was, it’s gone. It can’t haunt them anymore.

Kristina runs to Sonny, and hugs him.

Margaux asks what Shiloh needs. He’d like to have faith, but Sonny’s lies are deep. Other people stand to lose. They can’t let Sonny’s manipulation of the authorities destroy everything they’ve worked so hard to build in Port Charles. She asks what he wants her to do. He says if Sonny ever turns over evidence, and makes those claims again, make sure it never sees the light of day.

Jason goes to Willow’s classroom, and introduces himself as Michael’s uncle. She says he just missed Michael, but he says he came to give her something. He hands her the Pledge envelope with her name on it. She says, my God, this is… He says, it’s hers – again. She asks how he found it, and he tells not to worry about that. All the Pledges were destroyed. Shiloh has nothing over her anymore. He starts to leave, and she asks why he gave this to her. He says because she put herself on the line for Kristina. That makes her a hero in his book.

Carly sees Sasha and Michael talking about dinner plans. Michael kisses Sasha, and she gets in elevator. Carly tells him that she’s not saying a word. He says she sure looks like she want to. She says she’s glad he’s getting back out there.

Nina stomps back to her office. She sees someone, and asks what they’re doing in her office. Jax says, to celebrate the beginning of a beautiful partnership.

Tomorrow, Jax tells Nina that he’s the new owner of Crimson, Alexis asks Lucas if the birth father knows, and Chase asks Willow what happened after he left the Nurses Ball.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ooh! It’s Christmastime in NYC. LuAnn rehearses her Christmas show. In her interview she says she loves Christmas, and it’s everything to do a Christmas show. Sonja shows up, surprising LuAnn. In her interview, she says she was in the neighborhood. It must get boring being with the same entourage, and no girlfriends. Sonja starts off cracking everyone up, but then begins to get annoying. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Sonja won’t stop talking, and wonders what’s going on with her. LuAnn wants to include a joke about Dorinda getting a Jovani award. We see clips of the original Jovani incident. In Sonja’s interview, she says the whole thing started with LuAnn joking about Dorinda. Sonja advises against it, and LuAnn says Dorinda needs to get a sense of humor, and she’ll do what she wants. Alrighty then.

Dorinda goes to a tree lighting that’s not Rockefeller Center. She explains it’s smaller and more intimate, and by invite only. I don’t recognize the place, and she never actually says where it is. (I investigate later, and it seems to be at the Lotte New York Palace hotel. I’m guessing the courtyard, since it’s outside through the inside.) She says she was honored. It’s an iconic NY moment. The other women begin to join her. She asks if LuAnn is there, and Sonja says she saved Dorinda from being the butt of one of LuAnn’s cabaret jokes. In her interview, Dorinda says she spoke with a lawyer, and if LuAnn keeps it up, she’ll be hearing from him. Tinsley tells Sonja that LuAnn said she was manic, and wondered if she was on something. Sonja says LuAnn has been diva-like. In Sonja’s interview, she says, this is rich. LuAnn goes to a few AA meetings, and now she’s an expert. Stay in your lane. Jill Zarin and Barbara arrive, and LuAnn is right behind them. Ramona is excited about Miami, and LuAnn says she’ll be excited to not freeze. In her interview, Ramona lists the bonuses of going to Miami, but I think her real incentive is men. Dorinda tells LuAnn that she doesn’t want to be mentioned in LuAnn’s cabaret act. She’s being nice about it. In Ramona’s interview, she says Dorinda is coming through loud and clear. LuAnn is using Dorinda to get laughs, and Dorinda has had enough. LuAnn says she can talk about who she wants, and Dorinda says she knows what she has to do. John tells Dorinda it’s time to light the tree. Hannah and John accompany her to the podium. Dorinda wonders if she should have a lighting at Bluestone Manor. Sonja tells LuAnn that she heard LuAnn said she was manic. It’s just happiness. In her interview, Luann says course Sonja is on something. They’re all on something. Sonja does some hopscotch moves, while repeating she’s not manic; she’s happy.

Sonja meets Bethenny at a rich person’s designer clothing shop, where Bethenny is trying on some clothes. In her interview, Bethenny says Sonja’s wardrobe is a delightful combination of Leona Helmsley, Ivana Trump, and Falcon Crest. She asks Sonja how the tree lighting was, and Sonja says, it was nice; it was warm out. Bethenny says everyone was late for the clay thing, and we see a clip of her meeting Barbara at a DIY pottery thing, the others showing up an hour late, and Bethenny having to leave shortly afterward to trim the tree with Brynn. She says she’s constantly explaining her parenting style to LuAnn. Sonja says, she’s just doing Lu from her throne. Dorinda joins them, and says she doesn’t want LuAnn talking about her in the cabaret show, and she said she’d do what she damn well pleased. She says that LuAnn was also saying Sonja is on pills. Bethenny says, it’s not right. In Sonja’s interview, she says LuAnn is alienating everyone with her behavior. She’s LuAnn’s most loyal friend, and now even she’s getting it. Dorinda wonders how the Miami trip is going to be; if LuAnn will be queen bee. Bethenny says they’ll have an issue. In Bethenny’s interview, she says there’s nothing LuAnn could do that would surprise her. They discuss when they’re arriving, and Dorinda thinks it’s going to be a good trip. Bethenny tells her not to jinx it.

Everyone packs from closets that are as big as your house.

Wow. Fastest. Flight. Ever. We’re in Miami. I actually feel the heat for a moment. Ramona brought ten pairs of shoes for four days. I get it, but it’s a bitch to pack it all back up again. They start to get in the airport limo, and realize it won’t seat all of them. They decide to take two, and Tinsley is shoved out first. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she knows she’s the kid sister. Put baby in a corner, why don’t you? She’s got it. Ramona has rented a house, which is very different from the hotel I stayed in when I went there. She’s thrilled with being in warm weather, and they squeal over the view. Ramona says, in person, the house blows the photos away. There’s no comparison to last year’s house. We flash back to Ramona getting stuck in the elevator. LuAnn can’t wait to get in the pool. Sonja says, this is the life she’s accustomed to.

There’s a major spread, with all kinds of food, as well as a staff. Sonja says she was only a minute in the door, when she was given a welcome drink. She doesn’t know what’s in it, but she’s gonna have it. Tinsley informs everyone within earshot that Ramona and Harry were French kissing. In Sonja’s interview, she calls him Harry Dubious. She wants to erase him, but can’t because she loves him. Why can’t he stay away from her girlfriends They do a house tour, led by manager Carlos. No big shock, Ramona wants the best room. Like there is one; they’re all fabulous. We find out from Dorinda, a bathroom shared between two bedrooms called a Jack and Jill. LuAnn suggests they choose rooms. Ramona’s philosophy is, first come, first served. Especially if it’s her. I added that last part.

They go out on the deck, and the view of the sunset is unbelievable. In Dorinda’s interview, she says if there’s one thing they can count on, it’s Ramona saying they’ll stick together, and then not doing it. There’s not a bad room in the house. There’s not a fish room. It’s decided, and whatever. All of the rooms are gorgeous, but they all kind of look the same. Carlos says dinner is at seven. In her interview, LuAnn says being back in Miami isn’t easy. She has to stick to the plan, stay sober, and do whatever it takes to navigate through the drama.

We see clips of Ramona ordering staff around during a previous trip. This time, she explains every piece of her wardrobe to some poor guy. He’s probably already looking forward to them leaving. Sonja has a hard time not calling a guy named Tej (pronounced tage, rhymes with page) Raj. Sonja tells him that they have to unpack, and dangles her thong underwear in his face. She tells him LuAnn better get off her high horse. Outside, Dorinda instructs the bartender on making what she’s dubbed a pre-dress drink. She warns him that he doesn’t know what he’s dealing with here, but it’s fun, and they won’t let him down. Tej tries to act professional, as Sonja lectures him on his name. Ramona thinks Sonja being so drunk so early is not a good look at all. Dorinda has the bartender taste the drink, and he calls it a Miami mojito. Sonja wants to hide her belly, and says Tej has a little belly too. In her interview, LuAnn says she went for a swim, and when she came back, Sonja was already three sheets to the wind. It’s going to be a long night. Sonja says she’s a little drunk.

Bethenny arrives. In the upstairs bathroom, Sonja is ranting about Ramona making out with Harry. I wish everyone would stop talking about it, since it turns my stomach a little. Ramona says she didn’t, and Tinsley says, yes, she did. Barbara greets Bethenny, who describes the house as spectacular; modern and palatial. Very Miami. She’s spot-on. They hear screaming, and Barbara tells Bethenny it’s Sonja. Bethenny doesn’t know if she wants to enter this yet. Sonja is now fully-clothed, but standing in the bathtub, occasionally making dangerous moves, balancing herself on the side. She says Ramona made out with Harry. Bethenny isn’t surprised that Sonja is already at an eleven, but she is surprised yet another woman made out with Harry. Sonja tries to explain about how they chose the rooms, and Bethenny says as long as she’s the last to get there, and the first one out, she’ll take anything. Sonja wants to pee in the tub, and Tinsley begs her not to, since she might want to take a bath. Dorinda says she’d never touch Harry. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, in deference to Sonja, she was the first to be with Tom, and the first to be with Harry. Sonja is the curator of c*ck, and she found all these men.

Dinner is served. Sonja hugs Tej. She loves this place. She hugs another staff member, and tries to make out with Tinsley. In her interview, Tinsley says Sonja is very drunk, and acting a lot different. She sees why someone might think she was on something else, but knows it’s just plain old drinking Sonja. Sonja asks where Bethenny the princess is, while she eats something out of the serving bowl with the serving spoon. LuAnn asks if she wants a plate, and it takes a while to get through to Sonja that the bowl is for everyone. Not that they want it now. In her interview, LuAnn says, and she’s the crazy one, thinking Sonja is on something.

LuAnn asks Dorinda if she’s inviting anyone to dinner tomorrow night. LuAnn has guys coming; one more hot than the other. In her interview, she says they have a fabulous house, and they’re all single and ready to mingle. She’s hoping Sonja paces herself when the guests are there. She doesn’t want Sonja to look bad. Sonja asks if the guys are straight, used up, or effed upped. LuAnn asks if Sonja doesn’t trust her. Sonja says LuAnn usually screws her guys, and Ramona makes out with her guys. LuAnn says she’s had enough, and Sonja says Ramona made out with Harry. Ramona says she didn’t, but Tinsley says she saw them. Dorinda feels badly, and thinks there’s a lack of respect for Sonja, her feelings, and her past relationships. Even Sonja acts flip about it, but when she drinks, the pain comes out. I’m shocked at Dorinda’s insight, especially since she’s never respected Sonja’s past relationships either. Sonja says she was with him thirty years ago, and LuAnn says, who cares? Sonja says they weren’t just friends with benefits, like with Tom. LuAnn says Sonja is living in the past, and Sonja says LuAnn is living in her backyard. Ramona says Sonja is ranting and raving that they took her guys, but she’s had a lot of them. LuAnn tells Sonja to give it a rest. Dorinda says Sonja is upset, and LuAnn says she doesn’t live in the past. In Dorinda’s interview, she says if a girlfriend has had any interaction with a guy, she doesn’t date them. There’s a girl code. Why isn’t she following it? LuAnn tells Dorinda, don’t get involved, and Dorinda says she’ll get involved if she wants to, reminding LuAnn of how she’d said she’ll do what she pleases. She says Sonja has been LuAnn’s best advocate, and she needs to take it down a notch. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, watching this sober is embarrassing. She doesn’t ever want be like that again. Sonja says she went to LuAnn’s rehearsal, and she’s a diva. LuAnn says she’s not, and Sonja tells her, shut up, and get off her high horse. LuAnn tells Sonja not to talk to her like that, but Sonja says she will. LuAnn says she won’t put up with this, and walks out. She says they’ll talk when Sonja is in the right frame of mind; not when she’s drinking. Dorinda claims that Sonja has been an even better friend to LuAnn than she has. She thinks LuAnn doesn’t want to hear it because she’s done with Sonja, and Sonja repeats LuAnn doesn’t want to hear it. On her way to her room, LuAnn says Sonja is effing wasted. I understand totally why LuAnn wouldn’t want to be around all this, but she’s a little bit like the ex-smoker who gets all stupid when somebody else lights up, even though that was them five minutes ago.

Bethenny finally gets to the table – looking amazing. Dorinda says they’re drunk, and doesn’t know if Bethenny can catch up. In Bethenny’s interview, she says she’s like Zero Dark Thirty. She has no idea what’s going on. She recognizes drunk Sonja, and drunk Dorinda. Okay, they’re talking about LuAnn. She’s going in. Tinsley says LuAnn thought she was being attacked. Barbara says that’s why she left. Bethenny says she realizes Barbara is the leader of the cabaret cult, but she needs to take off the construction goggles. LuAnn thinks the world works for her. Bethenny goes to find LuAnn. She doesn’t want to be mean, but either it’s not happening, and they’re all delusional, or it’s happening, and LuAnn is being self-involved and narcissistic.

Bethenny tells LuAnn she’s there to talk, not to listen. She isn’t attacking LuAnn, and LuAnn says, why not? Everyone seems to. Bethenny says she deserves it. LuAnn doesn’t realize, but she takes and takes, and expects, and has an entitlement about her. It’s gone to her head. LuAnn says, no it’s gone to Bethenny’s head, which makes no sense whatsoever. In her interview, LuAnn says it’s been non-stop negativity. Bethenny asks why LuAnn would think they’d go to cabaret five times in one month. LuAnn says if she doesn’t want to go, don’t go.  Bethenny says she doesn’t get it. doesn’t get Sonja getting wasted and attacking Sonja is wasted, and LuAnn is running around saying she’s on something. LuAnn says she wanted to talk to Sonja tonight, but Sonja is in no shape to talk. At the table, Sonya complains about being a doormat. Bethenny says she’s not going to sit and yammer with them at the table, but she’s just saying her piece. LuAnn says, let them talk. She and Bethenny say goodnight. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she feels like barricading herself, or finding a safe space, but there isn’t a house big enough to be safe.

Sonja is nodding out at the table. Ramona says she can’t fall asleep; they’re going out. She knows a spot nearby. In her interview, she says Sonja shot her wad too early. She asks if Dorinda wants to go, but that’s a no. She asks Bethenny, who says, what about Barbara? Barbara says Ramona doesn’t want her to come, and tells Ramona that she can say it. Ramona says she and Tinsley can catch up. Bethenny feels like Barbara is being left out, and Tinsley says she’s not going to be part of a Mean Girls scenario. She’ll go if Barbara wants to come. Barbara is like, thanks, but no thanks, saying in her interview, Ramona already ruined it. Ramona and Tinsley go upstairs. Tinsley wants to change before they leave.

Bethenny tells Sonja, go to bed. Sonja says they’re not hot, and Bethenny says, she’s right; they’re hideous. Go to bed. Bethenny tells her, go out bed or she’ll knock her out. Sonja says she’ll knock Bethenny out, and Bethenny tells her to give it her best shot. Sonja tries to get up, and falls, cracking her head on the table on her way down. That’s gotta hurt.

Next time, an ambulance arrives, LuAnn thinks the women have a problem with her success <snort>, and Mario arrives.

🍹 Charleston MiniCap…

On Southern Charm, Craig seems to be getting a little Game of Thrones-ish handsome. Although I could be loss projecting. Naomie’s business is really booming. Plus, she’s helping at the restaurant, since her parents are in Nice. Chelsea’s father asked if she was okay with seeing Nick only every few months, and wondered if there was a future. Chelsea said Nick has a three year contract (he does something involving racing, but I forget what), and is planning on moving to Charleston after that. After pointing out that Chelsea always picked absent boyfriends, her father said she could do worse.

Cameran fretted over an imaginary something happening to Palmer. Her mother said it wasn’t healthy, and to get it out of her head. Craig tagged along with Chelsea for tree shopping, and he blabbed about how expensive Kathryn’s place was, and that she’d gotten a Rolls Royce. Her business with Gwynn’s is also a success. She’s now designing and rebranding. Good for her. I find her fascinating. She’s gone from doormat/harridan to a modern Southern belle. She tells Naomie that she’s dating a Democratic Senator. He’s only 38, thank God, and a nice looking dude. Craig gossiped about this to Chelsea as well, telling her that Senator Joe’s newly ex-wife has accused him of abuse, and he didn’t run for office again because of the divorce. Chelsea and Craig both thought it was too reminiscent of Thomas. Kathryn said she’s stressed, and wanted to do something fun, and suggested a girls trip. She told Naomie, it’s a hard knock life for girl bosses.

Shep looked at puppies, but his mother said she wasn’t taking a third dog on for him. He insisted it would help him be responsible. Would someone please get him to therapy? Craig found out that Madison was hitting on Danni’s boyfriend, via another friend, and sliding into his DMs. Shep and Craig decided to tell Austen for his own good. Austen had stars in his eyes, and Madison was seriously leading him on.

Naomie hosted an event at the restaurant, inviting her friends, influencers, and people who could get the word out about the place. Kathryn was doing so well, Cameran wasn’t sure whether she was the mother of two or a rapper. I thought it was weird that Danni had to explain the modern treehouse hotel to Cameran, since she’s in real estate. Does she never look at dream houses online?

After deciding they had to let him know what was up with Madison, Shep and Craig made plans to meet with Austen. Craig wondered if it was their first intervention, being on that side, and Shep said he didn’t want any disturbances in the force. They discussed their plan before Austen met them for drinks and food. It didn’t take long before the plan was abandoned, and Shep just launched into asking Craig to divulge the information. Austen didn’t want to believe it, so Craig called Danni, who confirmed that Madison was showing interest in Gentry on Instagram. Shep and Craig pushed Austen to call Madison immediately, saying he’d never do it if he didn’t do it now. Madison almost instantly copped to it, but claimed it was meaningless; nothing happened. Austen congratulated her for hitting on Danni’s boyfriend, thus ending their relationship. I think. I felt badly for him, but he seems to pick unavailable women. Maybe he’s not really ready for commitment. God knows he’s not ready for a career.

Next time, Kathryn is MIA, Cameran has her girls trip, and Austen tries to make excuses.

🎤 While We’re On the Countess Subject…

I wonder if the two mimosas were worth it.

She won’t be able to drink on Antabuse. It makes you sick if you ingest alcohol. Rut-roe.

And she’s not happy about it.

Oh come on. She’s one of the things that makes the show worth watching. Between her and Ramona, where else would we see such cluelessness? Then again, production companies don’t exactly like an insurance risk.

☝ By George, I Think I Found It…

The tree Dorinda lit. Unfortunately, it’s about nine minutes in, but if you like walking around the city, this video is for you.

May 28, 2019 – Sam Says Game Over, Mitch Keeps the Peace, Farrahween, Bad Joke Overreaction, a Little Balance, Another Breakup & a Baby Lion


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Scotty finds Ava in the interrogation room. She asks what he’s doing there, and he says he heard she got arrested on the police scanner. She’s not walking into the arraignment alone. He’s there; let him help her. She says if he wants to help, bring her confirmation that she killed Ryan.

Jordan stirs, and Curtis says he doesn’t know how she does it; waking up looking beautiful every day. She calls him a liar, and he says, facts. She starts to sit up, and he tells her, be careful. He’ll get a nurse. She says, talk to her. What happened? He asks what she remembers. She says he came back from Canada. Did he find Ryan?

On the phone, Monica finds out Ryan is still in surgery. Drew approaches, and she asks how he’s doing. He says that’s kind of why he’s there. He has some things to take care of before he and Kim leave town. She says, they’re going away together?

Julian gives Kim some paperwork, and says they should have no problem going through customs. Kim thanks him, and he says he knows how much the trip means to her. He hopes it brings her peace. She does too. He hugs her, and says he wishes he could make it easier. She says he is. She knows Oscar would want her to do this. She goes into the bedroom to get her passport, and Julian calls Alexis. He thanks her for the expedited paperwork. Kim needs to bring Oscar’s ashes to Mount Kilimanjaro. He never thought things could move that fast. She’s glad she can help, and he says he owes her already for getting him out of jail. She says he should thank Doc for dropping the charges. He wishes all of his problems were that easily solved. Kim comes back, and he says he was thanking Alexis for greasing the wheels. She says, he got arrested?

Sam and Jason look into Shiloh’s room. Jason asks how she’s feeling, and Sam says, like a huge weight has been lifted. It’s one of the hardest cons she’s ever had to run. She hated pretending to believe what Shiloh said; it was disgusting. Jason says he’ll see if Monica can get a rush on the toxicology report.

Neil visits Alexis. He tells her that he’s anxious to see how the plan to neutralize Shiloh panned out. Alexis says, apparently, he drugged Sam, who was kept for observation, but she’ll be okay. He’s glad about that, but wonders how did the plan work?

Sam sits on Shiloh’s bed. He says, please tell him that Jason failed, and adds, no matter how hard Jason tries, he can’t keep them apart.

Ava asks if Ryan is dead or not, but Scotty doesn’t know. She says she lives in hope. What happened is justice; a knife in Ryan’s back. Her only regret is that she didn’t twist it. Scotty says she can think that, but don’t say it. If he does, she could face a murder rap. She says he makes it sound like she’s done something to be ashamed of. She avenged her daughter’s death. Scotty says she can call it revenge or justice, but she’s pleading not guilty.

Jordan tells Curtis that she needs to know. He tells her, relax. Ava used herself as bait, luring Ryan to a remote cabin, where he caught up with her. Chase took Ryan into custody, and Ava stabbed him in the back while he was handcuffed. He’s in surgery. Jordan wonders if he’ll make it, but Curtis doesn’t know. She says she can’t blame Ava. Badge or no badge, she’d want the same thing. Curtis says they need Ryan to live. She asks what he isn’t he telling her.

Drew tells Monica that he and Kim are leaving for Tanzania. They’re taking Oscar’s ashes to Mont Kilimanjaro, since Oscar never made the trip. He wanted her blessing, since the Quartermaines are usually buried in the crypt. She says, not this time. She thinks Kilimanjaro is perfect for Oscar, but if they don’t mind, she’d like to put Oscar’s plaque in with the rest of the family. Drew thinks Oscar would like that. He loved being part of the family. He had a special spirit. Monica says he got it naturally from his father. Drew doesn’t know about that, but appreciates her saying it. Jason approaches, saying he doesn’t want to interrupt. Drew says it’s not an interruption. They’re family, right?

Alexis tells Neil that they need proof Shiloh drugged Sam. Then they can force him to return Kristina’s Pledge. Neil thinks maybe that will cancel some of Kristina’s self-criticism and self-blame, but she still has a long way to go. Alexis appreciates his help, and he says he’s still her therapist; she’s still his priority. Alexis says she’s not sure she’s the one with the problem. Kristina appears, and says, that would be her.

Shiloh tells Sam that Jason can’t hurt them now. His heart is full that she still believes, and is listening to her inner voice. She says he’s so in love with himself. He’s the one in love with his inner voice.  He asks what she’s saying, and she says, game over, Shiloh, Hank, David, or whatever he’s calling himself. You lose.

Ava asks Scotty what difference it makes, as long as the bastard who killed her daughter is dead. He says a first year law student could handle her case. She has to plead temporary insanity. Ava says if the DA says it was premeditated, she’d be right. Ava had every intention of killing Ryan. It didn’t play out the way she’d planned, but hopefully, she got the job done. He says, how about this? She matters to him. She might have given up on herself, but he hasn’t.

Julian tells Kim it was no big deal; one night in lockup. He was defending his sister’s honor, and slugged Doc, but he dropped the charges. Kim heard him say there were other problems. What else isn’t he telling her? He says he’s a big boy; he can take care of himself. She knows he can, but she wants to know if he needs her. Is he in trouble? His phone rings. He says, it’s Scotty, and might be about Ava. Scotty asks where he is. Didn’t he hear the news Ava was arrested? She’s at the PCPD, and needs him now. Julian tells Kim that he has to go. Ava’s been arrested. She says she’s coming with him, but he says she has a plane to catch. When she comes back, he’ll be there and waiting for her. She says he’d better be, and they kiss.

Curtis tells Jordan, something else happened. She says she was relieved to hear he was okay. Her heart was beating hard, and she couldn’t catch her breath. He says she had a cardiac episode, and she asks if he means a heart attack. He says, everything is under control, and she tells him, just say it. He says the dialysis put a strain on her heart. If she continues it, her heart will be compromised.

Jason asks if Drew wants him to do anything while he’s gone. Drew says, maybe one thing. He can get a head start on the plans for the treehouse. Monica says Oscar expected them to build it together, and Jason says he’ll order the supplies, and they can start when Drew gets back. They shake hands, and Drew leaves. Monica says she didn’t want to worry Drew any further, but how’s Sam. Jason says, she’s clear to go home, but they need her to expedite the toxicology report. They need proof Shiloh drugged Sam.

Alexis says it doesn’t look like Kristina got much sleep, and Kristina says she had a rough night. She knows Sam just got involved with DOD because of her. Neil says Kristina’s concern is admirable, and shows that Shiloh no longer has a hold over her, but Kristina says, he does. There’s something about DOD she didn’t tell them.

Sam puts her finger in Shiloh’s face, and says she’s so sick of listening to his voice. I’m dying laughing, he’s so surprised. She ask if he knows how hard it was to listen to his self-serving garbage. He says all he was trying to do was help her, and Jason threw him down the stairs. That’s attempted murder. She says, is it? Does he have a witness? She answers her own question, saying, no, he doesn’t. Because he abducted her, and they were alone in the tower. She was too drugged up to resist. He says she willingly drank the tea, and committed to the ceremony. She willing signed the Pledge. She says, please. The Pledge was as bogus as his book. What did Molly call it? Cliché and derivative. Jason walks in, and Sam asks if he has it. He says he sure does. The toxicology report says Sam was drugged. He says she drank the tea willingly, but Jason tells him, the recording says different. Shiloh says he didn’t consent to being recorded, but Sam says she did, and in the state of New York, that’s all they need. Jason says, assault, attempted rape; who knows what else they’ll find when they start investigating? Shiloh is going to prison for a long time.

Julian meets Scotty at the station, and asks, what the hell happened? Scotty says Ryan tried to resurrect himself, and Ava tried to put an end to him once and for all, allegedly sticking a knife in his back while he was handcuffed. Julian says, good for her, but Scotty says she’s pleading guilty. He wants her to plead temporary insanity, but she won’t budge. He wants Julian to talk to her.

Ava tells Kiki that she’ll be able to rest. Her killer is going to pay. Julian comes in, and Ava says Scotty must have called him. Julian has to hand it to her. She had him fooled. Nice work. She fooled him into thinking she was in love with Doc. She asks if Ryan is dead. He doesn’t know for sure, but he’s guessing no. He tells her that she can’t plead guilty. She asks, why? She set out to avenge her daughter, and it’s what she did. She’s not hiding it; she’s proud of it.

Josslyn visits Kim, saying she got Kim’s message. It’s weird. They were together practically 24/7 before Oscar passed away, and now Josslyn hasn’t seen her since. Kim says she couldn’t face the Nurses Ball, and Josslyn says she almost didn’t go herself. Cameron brought her a message from Oscar, a video he’d pre-recorded. He said he wanted her to live her life, starting at the Nurses Ball by singing. Kim can only imagine how hard it was. Josslyn says she knows it sounds weird, but when she thought she couldn’t do it, Oscar was there. She saw him, and didn’t want to let him down, so she sang. Kim says, it’s not weird. She’s sure Oscar was there. He loved music, and he loved her, which is why she and Drew are sure he’d want her to have this. He hands her Oscar’s guitar.

Curtis tells Jordan that they’ll get through this. Jordan says the kidney transplant isn’t a quality of life issue anymore; it’s life or death. She knows why he wants Ryan alive. Doc is a match, and Ryan is his twin. Curtis says if Ryan lives, he’ll convince him to donate. She asks, if he dies? and Curtis says he’s going to save her. He doesn’t care what it costs, or what favors he has to call in. Wherever he has to go, he’ll go there. She says don’t make her arrest him. He says as ruthless as Ryan was, he’s that in love. He’s going to find a way to give her the second chance at life she deserves.

Alexis tells Kristina, there’s no point reliving nightmare, but she wants to say it while she has the courage. It’s not what Shiloh did, it’s what she did before joining the Trust. He wanted her to make an offering; a secret that was deep and important. Alexis asks if she means the Pledge. Kristina asks if Alexis knows what she gave Shiloh, and Alexis says, not unless she wants to tell.

Shiloh tells Jason and Sam that Sonny threatened him. Jason says, Sonny doesn’t make threats. Sam says Shiloh has no idea how hard she had to work to convince Sonny to let her deal with him herself. Kristina is her sister, but Sonny is an overprotective father. She wouldn’t be surprised if Sonny did deal with Shiloh himself. Not now; there’s too much scrutiny. Jason says when he’s sent to Pentonville, when everyone has forgotten about him, accidents happen. Shiloh asks what they want. Jason says, Kristina’s Pledge. Give it to them or they give him up to the cops.

Ava thinks she should get a medal for stabbing Ryan. The DA agreed to call off the search, giving a serial killer a free pass. Ava never believed he was dead, and she out-manipulated him. The only reason she didn’t pull the trigger, was because Curtis said Kiki would want her to help save Jordan, and he was right. Kiki was too generous for her own good, but Ava knows better. The only way to get justice in this world is to take it. Scotty says Curtis can testify to her state of mind. If she flushes her life down the drain, Ryan wins. Is that what she wants?

Josslyn tells Kim that’s she’ll have to see if she remembers what Oscar taught her. Drew arrives, and asks if Kim is ready. He tells Josslyn the guitar looks good on her. Kim tells him that she wanted Josslyn to have before they left. Josslyn asks where they’re going, and Kim says they’re taking a trip. Drew says they’re going to make Oscar’s trip to Mount Kilimanjaro. Kim adds, to say goodbye to their son.

Monica joins Curtis is Jordan’s room. He says he was just explaining about getting a new kidney. Monica says, that’s the plan. Does Jordan have any questions? Jordan asks if Ryan is out of surgery, and Monica says, stand down, commissioner. She just had a serious episode, and can’t afford any strain on her heart. She tells Jordan to take a leave of absence. Let someone else do the job. She helped save Port Charles from a monster. The least they can do is help give her back her life.

Kristina says when Shiloh told her that he wanted something important and personal, she thought about when she tried to blackmail Parker, but he didn’t want that. He wanted… Neil says, something more useful that he could cash in later. Kristina says she was too stupid to see it, and Alexis says she was betrayed by someone she trusted. Kristina says, now they’re all going to pay the price, and Alexis asks what she told him. Kristina says, something about her family.

Shiloh asks if this is over if he gives them the Pledge. Jason says, it’s already over. He’s never going to bother Kristina again. It’s up to him if he walks away or not. Shiloh says He’ll cooperate, and Jason asks where the Pledges are. Shiloh says in the place where Jason almost killed him.

Ava tells Julian she lured Ryan to her cabin with every intention of killing him, and stabbed him in the back in front of police witnesses, but she was never more sane or sure of anything. How can she get around that? Julian says they can deal with the questions, but he can’t deal with her giving up. She needs to keep her mouth shut, and do what Scotty says. She calls Scotty her knight in shining armor. Julian says if she wants revenge, she needs to plead not guilty. If Ryan ends up in Ferncliff while she goes to prison, she won’t be able to finish what she started.

Josslyn says, Oscar talked a lot about Kilimanjaro, especially after he got sick. Oscar would want them to take him there. He wouldn’t want to be in an urn in a vault, but under the stars. If he knew they were doing it together, it would make him even happier. Drew asks if she wants a ride, but she thinks she’ll stop by the park. She’s going to Oscar’s Meadow, and see if she remembers the chords he taught her. She thanks Kim, and hugs her. Drew hopes she thinks about Oscar when she plays, and she says she’s always thinking of him. She hugs Drew, and tells them to take lots of pictures. She leaves, and Kim says Josslyn has been through so much, and stays so strong. Drew says, she’s not the only one.

Monica checks Jordan’s vitals, and says her blood pressure is elevated, and she has a low grade fever. The sooner they find a kidney, the better. Curtis says they need Ryan to make it through surgery. Monica says she’ll check on him. Jordan thanks her, and Monica says again, they owe her. She leaves, and Jordan doesn’t know what’s worse; her heart nearly stopping or agreeing to a leave of absence. Curtis says she’ll be back to fighting for truth and justice in no time. Until then just get better. Let him pamper her; he’ll fluff her pillow, spoon feed her rocky road ice cream, whatever she needs. She says she has everything she needs right there, and he kisses her.

Alexis tells Kristina, don’t worry. Whatever she said, they’ll deal with it. Neil thinks it’s a family matter, and it’s best to keep it that way. Kristina thanks him for his help, and he says, there’s more where that came from. He’s just a phone call away. When he’s gone, Alexis says Kristina is very brave to come forward. Whatever secret she told, her father will take care of it. Kristina says, it’s not about him.

Sam and Jason go to the tower. Sam looks sick, and remembers Shiloh starting to get undressed, and saying they were destined to know each other on every level. It starts tonight. Jason tells her that she can wait downstairs, but she says she’ll be okay. She thought she could fight him off, but she couldn’t. She was thinking, poor Kristina; she would have been alone. Jason says Sam would have been looking out for her. They start looking for the Pledges.

Kim says she promised not to cry on Drew’s shoulder anymore, and he asks what else is he good for? She says he needs his strength to climb the mountain, and more when he gets to the top. He says that’s why they’re doing it together. Kim says they have a plane to catch, and he says, they do. Let’s go. They head out.

Ava tells Julian it never occurred to her that Ryan might live. He would just end up back in Ferncliff or some other institution. Julian says, and Kiki’s murder goes unavenged. Scotty returns, saying he spoke to the judge. Ava is going to be arraigned this afternoon. He hopes Julian convinced her to fight. Ava tells him, don’t just stand there looking good. Start earning your fee.

Curtis says he and Jordan never got their honeymoon in Fiji. They could start looking at hotels. Sun and sand will do them some good. Monica tells them that Ryan is out of surgery, and Curtis asks if he’s going to make it. She says, it’s too early tell. Jordan wonders why Ryan would consent to give her a kidney.

Alexis says Shiloh needed leverage to use against Kristina or someone she loves. Kristina says she’s so sorry. Alexis says, if the secret isn’t about Kristina’s father… it’s about her.

Jason opens a desk drawer, and says, found it.. Sam asks how they know those are real, and Jason says they’ll have to open one. He picks up Margaux’s envelope. Good choice! He opens it, and looks at Sam, saying, it looks real to him. Sam looks through the envelopes and finds Kristina’s. She says, that’s it. Shiloh is finally finished. Jason says, not yet, but they’re close.

Tomorrow, Sasha tells Nina that she loves it there, Alexis asks Kristina what’s in the Pledge, Maxie doesn’t believe it, and Jason tells Sonny he has leverage against the DA.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Madison keeps trying to call David, but gets voicemail. He asks his co-worker Tisha (I got a name!) if she’s sure it’s him, and she says, it’s the same address. He thinks David is probably out on Valium. He says he told Jeffrey not to go over there. He tries the radio, and Tisha makes a call. Madison thinks it’s David, but she’s gotten Veronica, who’s just pulling into her driveway. Madison says he thinks Jeffrey has been hurt, and to come to the hospital. She says, who is this? and he realizes he’s not talking to David. He says, it’s Madison, and Veronica asks, what happened? He says, just come. Veronica drives back out.

Madison asks why Tisha called Jeffrey’s mother. She says, it’s on his records, and she’s his mother. He says Tisha doesn’t know her. David calls back, and Madison says he needs to come to the hospital. It’s Jeffrey. David asks, what’s wrong? and Madison says he just needs to come. David is like, damn, and jets.

Veronica gets there first. Tisha tells her the ambulance isn’t there yet; she’s still waiting to hear. Veronica says Tisha called her. What the hell happened? Madison comes out, and says, a shooting. They got a call from the address that there were two gunshot wounds to the head. David arrives, and Madison says, there are two gunshot wounds to the head coming in. Davis asks if Jeffrey has been shot, but Madison doesn’t know. David asks why he called, and Madison says, it’s his address; Spanish Moss Trail. Veronica says, whose address that is. Is it that boy? David says, yes. She says she told him to get that boy in line. David asks if Madison has called the ambulance. Madison says he’s been trying, but he’s not getting a response. They must be working on him. David says he should have made Jeffrey leave, and Veronica asks if Jeffrey was with that homosexual girl. Tisha gets a call, and says, it’s not two; it’s one wound, but she doesn’t know which one of them it is. It doesn’t look good. She says she’s sorry. A gurney is quickly wheeled past, and Veronica yells for Jeffrey. David says he’ll kill that son of a bitch.

Meanwhile, at the Iron Bone (I just like saying that), Mitch sees a cousin/uncle/thug/whatever, and says, look who’s up early drinking beer. Dude says, it’s the breakfast of champions. Funny. I thought that was a Hall’s cough drop, coffee, and a cigarette. Mitch asks where Uncle Vinnie is. He’s going to meet with Cryer. Dude says, the guy who stabbed Uncle Vinnie? but Mitch says, his father. Dude suggests he get Vinnie’s $50K, and while he’s at it, he heard Vinnie talking about that Black kid. He wants his money. Mitch says Benny is working on it, and dude wonders how the hell Benny has $8 million, and can’t pay back the family. Mitch asks if he’s stupid, and dude says, what’s stupid is Benny not paying what he owed. Uncle Vinnie was drunk last night, and talking crazy. Mitch says he’ll be back later with the money, and dude says he’d better be.

Madison tells David and Veronica, still no word on the surgery. Veronica asks, what kind of hospital is this? and David says, stay calm. She says she told him, but he doesn’t need to hear that. She asks what the address is, and he says, Spanish Moss Trail, apartment number seven; why? She wants to see what happened, and make sure the DA gets all the evidence. She’s going to put that bastard homosexual away for life. David says their son is in surgery, and may not make it. She says, Jeffrey will make it. He’s a fighter like his momma. She’s a survivor, not like him, letting Jeffrey go be with those people. They’re wicked. Doesn’t he get it? They’re evil. Destruction follows them everywhere. Does he know how many are on crystal meth? Disease and death follows them, and it’s what he allowed for their child. They’re sodomites, and he allowed it. He did that, and now look at this. This is war, and it’s all his fault. She tried to tell him. If Jeffrey doesn’t make it, she promises… A crying Madison approaches them, and says he’s sorry. Jeffrey didn’t make it. Just as I’m thinking, hmm… we didn’t actually see him, Madison says he was told the African American guy didn’t make it. Veronica asks, why do you people lie so much? You lie about everything. Lying is in your DNA. He even lies about something this serious. The smell on him disgusts her. She comes close to him, and sniffs. She says he smells like a lie. Why is he crying? Don’t cry over her boy; he’s not dead. She grabs Madison’s face, and says, liar. She walks out. David asks where he is. Madison calls the doctor, and David cries.

Wyatt pretends to be Jim, and calls through to Kathryn’s car.

In Kathryn’s car, impressing his friends, RK tells them he’s changed things. He’s different; he’s better. He’s got them. The phone rings, startling him. Wyatt tells him, get his ass over there. RK says his guy wasn’t around, and he had to wait until morning. Wyatt had better have the money. Wyatt says RK better be on his way. If he isn’t, Jim is going to report the car stolen, and RK will get caught with his stuff. RK says just make sure he has the damn money. He’s on his way. He says, you can call the car. It’s like a spaceship

Jim sees Kathryn sleeping, and slams the door. He says, hungover? and she says, yes, you ass. He says, good. Is he talking too LOUD? She says, like he’s never been hungover. He says the child who brought her home stole her car. She asks, what child? and he says she doesn’t remember? She says, who cares? and he says her car is gone. He stole it. She says she’ll get another one, but Jim says not before he puts the kid’s ass in jail. She says, the kid from the bar? He says she’s stupid when it comes to money, but she disagrees. That’s why she has a lot, and he’s done. He has none. The stupidest thing she ever did was marry him. He says that was the smartest thing. He keeps her in money. It’s his brand that kept her rich. She gave Hanna $8 million; is that smart? Kathryn says, she’ll give it back, and tells him, don’t go near Hanna’s son; she means it. He tells her, take a shower. She smells like a daycare. She suggests he take a hike off a cliff. In a really odd moment, he helps her up, and fixes the covers. Force of habit?

Wyatt tells Jim that someone is coming up the driveway. Jim says, he’s a Malone. Mitch rings the bell, and Jim comes out. Mitch introduces himself, saying, he came to negotiate a truce. Money for his son. Wyatt did a lot of damage, and the family is pissed. He’s there to keep the peace. Jim says he has no idea what Mitch is talking about, and Mitch asks if that’s a game Jim wants to play. Jim asks how he knows it was Wyatt, and Mitch says he found the receipt with Wyatt’s name on it. Jim asks what he wants, and Mitch says, $75K. Jim asks if that’s how much the drugs were worth that Wyatt bought, and Mitch says, it’s not about what Wyatt bought. It’s about him buying peace. Jim thinks it’s unreasonable, but Mitch says he doesn’t. Especially if his grandma found out his son put hers in the hospital. Jim has to agree, and Mitch says he’ll wait. He’s not going anywhere until he gets it. Jim says he’ll write a check, but Mitch says, the family doesn’t do checks. Cash only. Jim says he’ll bring it to the bar in the morning. Mitch says his uncle is pretty pissed. He suggests Jim give to him. Jim says, if he does this, his son will be left alone. Mitch says, yeah, but Jim has a question. It’s usually blood for blood. What’s different? Mitch says Jim has him in the middle. He doesn’t need this war. Jim says, all right.

Wyatt asks what Mitch said, and Jim asks how much he spent buying drugs from them. Wyatt asks how much Jim stole from him. Jim has half a mind to let them have Wyatt’s sorry ass. Wyatt says it would be better than being stuck there. Jim says the Malones aren’t playing games; they’ll kill Wyatt. It’s serious business. Wyatt says if Jim hadn’t taken his money, he wouldn’t be in this situation. Jim wonders how he raised such a fool, and Wyatt says Jim’s a fool for taking his money. Jim says he did it for Wyatt’s own good. Every time Wyatt does damage, and Jim digs out of the pile of sh*t, Wyatt makes another one for him to climb into. Wyatt tells Jim, go to hell. Jim says, he might, but Wyatt’s ass better be happy in his room. If the Malones get to it before they get their money, he won’t have an ass left. Jim asks, is this what happens when you get a participation award? Ha-ha! Everyone is cracking me up tonight.

Scott hunts down Roderick at the Artisian. He says he’s with the Attorney General’s office. Roderick asks what he can do for him, and Scott says he can start be not looking nervous. Does he have something to hide? Roderick says, no, and Scott shows him a picture of Candace, asking if he knows her. Roderick says, no, and Scott asks if he mentioned he was an FBI agent; top of his class. Roderick says, good for him. Scott says he rose to the top quickly, and knows Roderick is lying. He’ll ask again; does he know her? Roderick says, no, he doesn’t, and Scott says he wants to make it hard. Okay. He makes a call, asking about Roderick’s real name. Roderick asks what he’s doing, and Scott says, calling Homeland Security. Roderick gets super nervous, and says he remembers; he knows her. Scott hangs up. Roderick asks if he’s getting deported, but Scott says that depends on how much help he’s going to be. They’ve got cameras all around. They can start with surveillance. Where’s security? Roderick leads the way.

Candace asks what Charles is what up to today, and he says, what else? They’re packing up and moving. He’d love for her to see it. She’s excited that she gets to see his house. A house tells a lot about a person. He laughs, and looks out the window. She asks if it’s something interesting, and he says, yeah. America. She calls him Mr. President Elect, and he says she likes the sound of that. She says she likes the sound of him, especially right before that moment. He purrs. He says, no, he doesn’t, and she says, like a kitten. He says he roars like a lion, and she says, a baby lion. Hakuna Matata. There’s a knock at door. A guy who isn’t Landon says he needs to talk to Charles in private, and Candace goes to her adjoining room.

Not-Landon tells Charles, Lisa from the Times is doing a story on Candace, and it’s not a good one. Landon flew NYC to see if he can get the story killed, but he thinks it’s still going to go. Candace blackmailed and damaged several high profile. Her cover was blown when they saw her on TV. Charles says, Landon will take care of it, but not-Landon doesn’t think so. He knows Lisa, and there’s this guy. He shows Charles a picture of the AG, and says, he’s already spoken to the President. They think he’s the one making trouble, and they need to get Candace out of there. Charles asks how long they have, and not-Landon says, it depends on Landon, but he’s pretty sure there’s nothing Landon can do. Charles says, it’s his job, but not-Landon says if they don’t handle this now, it could get messy and nasty. Charles hears him, but doesn’t want Candace to go. Not-Landon knows he likes her, but she’s trouble for him, and them. They need to distance themselves from her. Charles wants her to come. If not-Landon hears from Landon, let him know.

Candace comes back, and asks if everything is okay. He says, just Presidential stuff. She asks what it’s like in the White House. Is there someone to teach you protocol? He says, yeah, and she says she has so many questions. He has to shower, and she offers to join him, but he says, no. He needs a moment.

Candace’s phone rings. It’s Benny. He asks if she’s all right. He saw the news. Is she with him? She says she thinks so, and Benny asks if they’re dating? She says, that’s what it looks like. He tells her, be careful, and she asks, why? He says because he’s her annoying kid brother, and he always has to look out for her. That’s why. She asks if Hanna saw, and what she said. Benny tells her, not much. She’s been acting funny lately. It has something to do with that dude she’s seeing. He says he’ll find out. He asks if Charles knows about everything, and she says he does. Hanna comes down, and there’s a three-way hello. Benny says he’ll call Candace back later.

Benny asks if Hanna is making breakfast, but she says they’ll pick something up on the way to the bank. They’re giving the money back. Benny says he needs to pay Mitch’s family. She says she knows that. She talked to Kathryn, who’s going to give her a loan off of the interest so Benny can pay them. And he’s going to help her pay Kathryn back. She tells him, don’t borrow from people like that no more, and he promises he won’t. The doorbell rings, and Benny says he’ll get it, but Hanna says, don’t. He asks if it’s that dude, and she says she doesn’t want talk to him. Benny says he’s been blowing up her phone all day. What did he do? Hanna says, let it go. Benny says he’ll break Derrick’s neck, but Hanna tells him to tend to his own wounds right now. Derrick just isn’t the man she thought he was. Benny says he told her there was something he didn’t like; he knew it. She says, let it go. Benny wants to know what Derrick did, but she tells him, get dressed. The bell rings again

Tisha tells Madison that she’s sorry. He asks if she’s sure the one who died was African American. She is, and he says, the one they took to the ER? She says, he’s not. They need a relative to ID the body, and Madison says he’ll talk to David. Tisha asks if he’s okay, and he says, no. She tells him again, she’s sorry. Madison tells David they need him to identify the body. David cries. Madison says he is so sorry, and David says take him to his son. Why didn’t we see either one of them though? I’m still thinking there could be a mix-up here.

Scott goes through security footage. He sees Candace follow a guy to his room. Scott says he’ll be taking all the footage, but Roderick says he can’t let him. He needs to call the owner. Scott tells him to do what he feels. He tells the security guy to leave, and asks Roderick what’s going on? A girl pays him, and he gives her money later. It’s happening night after night. Roderick thought he was looking for Candace, but Scott says he’s looking for everything. He wants to know what’s going on – now. Roderick asks if he needs a lawyer. Scott says Roderick needs to tell him what’s going on, or he’s going to be arrested. Spit it out. Roderick wants to call the owner, but Scott says he’ll take Roderick along with the evidence. He asks who the leader of the ring is, and Roderick says, not him. Scott asks if it’s the owner, but he says she’s not aware of it. Scott asks who she is, and Roderick says, Kathryn Cryer is the main owner. There’s a board, but she owns the largest share. Scott says it could make money for her, but Roderick says, it’s small money to her. Scott asks if Roderick is having an affair with her, and he says, no… okay. Scott says he saw the damn tape. Stop lying, and tell him everything. Does her husband know? Roderick says, no. Jim threatened him. Scott says he saw that moment at the bar. It didn’t look pleasant. Roderick says, it wasn’t. Scott asks, who’s in charge? and Roderick finally says, Candace. Scott says, now they’re talking. Does the President know she was a prostitute? Roderick doesn’t know, and Scott says, get her on the phone. Roderick says, she spooks easy; she’ll know right away. Scott says Roderick has been very helpful, but he needs a lot more. Roderick says, if he tells Scott everything, will he still get deported? Scott says that depends on how much he helps. Keep bringing it. Scott asks, who’s this guy? pointing to RK. Roderick says, he works with her. Scott points to Rocky, and says, this guy? Rocky says they’re all in this together. Scott asks, is there a code word? Roderick says if you order whiskey on the rocks with a beer chaser and mudded lime. Scott says, okay. Let’s have some fun.

Madison and David approach the body. David takes a breath. Madison holds his. The cover is lifted, and David says…

Veronica is on a porch, and when someone opens the door, she’s shocked.

Next time, Madison tells David they got a call from that address, Hanna tells Benny they’re giving the money back, and Jim tells Kathryn if they don’t give the Malones $75K cash by the end of the day, they’ll put a hit out on Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

It’s the last breakfast in Hawaii. Kyle isn’t feeling well, and can’t afford to be sick. When she gets home, she has to get ready for Farrah’s 30th birthday. Dorit says she’s a little tired and anxious to get home. We see clips of Kyle and Mauricio out the night before. Camille joins the women and Mauricio. In her interview, she says it’s kind of trippy, waking up and being a Mrs. again. Mauricio asks if they’re going anywhere for a honeymoon, and Camille says, Switzerland. Kyle, who can’t seem to keep a lid on it, says she found out something weird. One of the family home of one of Alexia’s friend’s was burglarized. The construction workers were taking a lie detector test, and LVP was there taking one. Camille says, it’s ridiculous. Over a dog? Honestly, I don’t get their reaction to this, since they’re the ones who made the big deal out of calling LVP a liar. Camille says she hasn’t seen anything from LVP. LisaR tries to get her to admit it’s a huge devastation, but Camille says, it’s a little owey. LisaR says LVP doesn’t have to behave that way. Camille thinks it’s hurtful and sad. She wishes LVP could be there for her and dismiss all of this. Kyle says they have to get moving, and Camille thanks them all for coming.

Denise gets home from filming. She finds a gift from LisaR and Harry. The note says, Cheers to you and Aaron. Many happy endings! Eloise lost a tooth, and Denise tells her about the tooth fairy. In her interview, Denise says she’s grateful that Aaron is okay with her being on location with her ex-boyfriend. If their roles were reversed, she doesn’t know if she’d be as understanding. She might say she was, but she’d be a little jealous. Aaron is puzzled about the happy endings remark, and she says she may have done something he won’t be too happy about. We flash back to her telling the story about finding him a happy ending when she went camping. She says she didn’t get into the details, and told them he was mortified. Aaron says, it was awkward. Denise says it might not have been the weirdest thing ever if she hadn’t been a hundred years old. Aaron says, two hundred. She says some of the women were a little judgmental, but they can judge all they want. He says, it’s out there now.

Kyle packs her million pairs of shoes back up. She says it was so much fun. Everyone had a great time. and got along. That in itself is a wedding gift for Camille. In the airport limo, LisaR brings up an article in People magazine about LVP and Camille. Dorit says she was way surprised. LisaR reads that Camille said LVP helped her take a leap of faith, and she respects LVP’s decision not to attend the wedding. In LisaR’s interview, she says Camille tells them one thing, and something different in the article. She doesn’t trust both sides of Camille’s mouth. Because I guess Camille can’t possibly feel more than one way, or maybe felt differently later on. LisaR says Camille needs to own her sh*t, and had better step up. Ha-ha! Or what? Since she can never stop being a big-mouthed jerk, LisaR tells Dorit that Camille says not nice things behind her back. We flash back to Camille saying Dorit makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Dorit says Camille claimed it was great getting to know her. We see a clip from the camping trip where Camille says now that she knows Dorit better, they can move forward. I’d also like to point out that when Camille said that to LisaR, it was way before the camping trip. Dorit says, don’t pretend to be nice.  Kyle tells her that Camille says what she thinks someone wants to hear. Teddi doesn’t care about the article, but at least tell them. I can’t believe none of these women understand how tabloids work.

Dorit tells PK he’s not allowed to have chips. Crunch on carrots. Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to work for him.

Erika asks Tom if he wants to come to a party. She got a text from Kyle, but he suddenly has something else to do. Can’t say I blame him.

Kyle picks up LisaR, who disgusts me at this point. LisaR is going for a mammogram. Both her mom and half-sister had double mastectomies, and she’s a little nervous. Kyle asks what LisaR is wearing to the party, but LisaR wants it to be a surprise. Kyle says there are going to be five hundred people. She still has to get a Ferris wheel. She says the party cost about fifteen Birkin bags. LisaR asks what she remembers about being pregnant the first time. She was screaming and crying, and locked the door when she found out there were so many tests, and the nurse wasn’t having it. Well, that does sound a little insane.

LisaR says, it was quite a weekend. When People magazine came out, she lost her sh*t. She wasn’t happy that she told Dorit that Camille was talking about her, but she felt like she had enough. So let me get this straight. LisaR had enough, so she decided to hurt both Camille and Dorit by telling Dorit that Camille had been talking about her. Okay. Does she ever look in a mirror?

Since Kyle was already scheduled for next week, she jumps on LisaR’s mammo-tails and gets in her appointment now. LisaR says now she can focus on Kyle’s anxiety rather than her own. In Kyle’s interview, she says it gives her anxiety, but her mom died because she didn’t get one. If she’d gone, maybe she’d still be with them. Kyle is haunted by it. In LisaR’s interview, she thinks the anxiety leading up to the test is more frightening than the procedure. The radiologist shows LisaR her results on a laptop, and she’s good. More pictures are wanted from Kyle, and she freaks. In her interview, she says when she was turning thirty, her mom found a lump. Now here she is. They think the see something the day of daughter’s thirtieth birthday.

We all nervously wait. Kyle looks like she going to pass out, and starts crying. She tells LisaR that she has to wait. The radiologist apologizes, and tells Kyle it looks great. LisaR hugs her, and Kyle says she just got scared when they wanted to look again. LisaR says she’s all good, and the radiologist says it was just dense tissue.

Dorit tells PK she doesn’t think anyone will be coming to the party as Karl Lagerfeld, and he says he doesn’t think anyone can compete. In Dorit’s interview, she says she loves Halloween. PK is going as Karl, and she’s his kitty cat, Choupette. PK’s head is sweating in the wig already, and I feel his pain. I have given up on Halloween wigs at parties forever.

LisaR says she has to nail it. In her interview, she says when she dresses up, she’s one hundred million percent. She wants to get as close as she can to the look, and act the part. I’m sure she does. Can I start a Make LisaR Go Away page on Facebook?

Farrah’s party is being set up. Kyle says since Farrah was born on Halloween, they’ve always called it Farrahween. She’s flown Alexia home for the occasion. Kyle asks if Alexia’s dad has seen her outfit, and we see a clip of Mauricio wondering where the rest of it is. Kyle says their mom can dress like a tramp if she wants to. She’s going as a Playboy bunny, and has paid over $600 for what’s basically a black one-piece swimsuit and ears. The tail was an extra $45. If that’s what it means to be rich, I think I could do it better.

No surprise, the decorations are fabulous. Subtler, yet more lavish than Dorinda in the Berkshires. Teddi calls Kyle, who’s stuck in her expensive costume, since the zipper won’t work. She’s waiting for an Uber bringing her another one. Teddi says she’s about a block away, and Kyle asks her to entertain everyone until she figures out what she’s doing. Teddi is dressed as Harley Quinn (me two Halloweens ago), and arrives with Edwin Joker. A vampire jumps out at them. Teddi hates it. Denise follows, in a mini Marie Antoinette dress and wig, with Aaron wearing something Edwardian.

Kyle says she’s literally stuck, and has to pee. Mauricio says he can take it off. He hands her a new costume, and brings her new costume. He rips the back open on the one she’s stuck in, and she gets pissed, saying what if the new one doesn’t work?

Outside, Dorit freaks at the vampire jumping out. Erika says their costumes are clever. I’m surprised that she’s so boring as a leopard or something. LisaR comes as Erika, and Erika loves it. She says she saw herself. It wasn’t her, but it was her at Coachella. She says LisaR nailed it. In her interview, LisaR says, Erika is every girls dream; sexual, over-the-top, and can get away with anything. They start to wonder where Kyle is, and Teddi says, she had a wardrobe malfunction.

Kyle gets her new costume adjusted. Her daughters are like, omg, your butt is hanging out.

Kim arrives dressed as a modernized version of a gangster from the 40s. In LisaR’s interview, she says she was kind of shocked to see Kim. She wishes she’s had a heads up. My Lord, this woman needs to be apprised of everything. It is actually a family party. How shocked can she be? What a lame brain. Maybe they took out brain cells to plump her lips.

Denise can’t breathe in her costume, but Dorit says she looks hot, so that’s all that counts. Camille, as Catwoman, comes with a friend, and the morally corrupt Faye Resnick right behind her. In her interview, Dorit says she’s a fashionista cat, Erika is an exotic cat, and Camille is a stray cat. She wonders where Camille bought a mask to cover both her faces. Okay. Hate her too now. Kyle tells her not to say anything to Camille. In Dorit’s interview, she says she has terrible anxiety, not knowing what Camille said about her, but she just got married and it’s Farrah’s birthday. Oh gee. Think you might be able to control yourself for a whole evening? Denise says she’s always clueless, and we flash back to Denise saying she’s lost during one of the many Puppygate convos.

The birthday girl comes out, and we see Mauricio as Hugh Hefner. In Kyle’s interview, she says, earlier, she was facing the worst thing, and it’s a reminder to celebrate family and friends when you get the chance. She takes the mic, and says Farrah is an inspiration, and she can’t believe she has a child who’s thirty. In her interview, she says it’s every parent’s dream to see their child grow to be a responsible adult; self-sufficient, smart, and successful. She’s proud of Farrah, and proud of the job she and Mauricio did. They kind of know what they’re doing. She tells everyone to take a ride on Farrah’s wheel. The DJ begins to play music, and everyone dances. In her interview, Kyle says she got a silver Rolex for her thirtieth birthday. In Erika’s interview, she says she went to Vegas. Dorit says she had a surprise luncheon in Connecticut, and didn’t have Ferris wheel.

Kyle talks to the women about her mammogram. She suggests a spin on the wheel, and Dorit wants to know why they have to be first. Kyle’s seatbelt is stuck, much like her first costume. In Teddi’s interview, she says she promised not to bring anything up to Camille, but they ended up side by side. Kyle says, FML when she gets stuck at the top.

There’s a photographer, and the women get a group shot taken. LisaR, in character as Erika, tells Kim that giving the bunny back to LisaR was something [bleep]. In her interview, Kim says she and LisaR don’t have a good history. We flash back to several episodes where LisaR acted incredibly nosy and rude to Kim, ending with her returning the bunny to LisaR at the reunion. Because it lacked good energy. She says she didn’t mean to be crude, rude, or disrespectful, but she feels attacked. She’s not hearing anything from LisaR but see you next Tuesday. LisaR likes being Erika.

Kim asks Dorit if that wasn’t wrong on LisaR’s part. It was upsetting. Kyle says, it was uncalled for. Kim says, it was inappropriate and rude. Kyle thinks LisaR is holding a grudge. In Kim’s interview, she says LisaR is always looking for attention. Denise joins them, and Kim whines that LisaR was rude to her. In Denise’s interview, she says LisaR is one of her best friends (I’m sorry), and was hurt by the bunny situation. She tells Kim that she really hurt LisaR’s feelings. Kim doesn’t believe it. In her interview, Kim says Denise should stand back. This is between her and LisaR. Let it go. Kyle says Kim isn’t wrong, and to give her that. It wasn’t okay. Denise is sorry that Kim is feeling hurt. Kim says she’s not, and Denise asks what’s the problem then. Kyle doesn’t think Denise gets it. Denise says, who cares about some bunny? They need to let it go. Well, here’s the thing, Denise. LisaR is the one who brought it up. Hello? Is this thing on?

LisaR says she’s Erika tonight, and admits to saying something about the bunny. Dorit observes that there are still strong feelings about it. In her interview, Kim says there are two years of unresolved energy. We flash back to Kim calling out LisaR on saying Kim was near death when she was nothing of the kind. Erika wishes it was different between them. In her interview, LisaR says, giving back the bunny was rude. Kim asks Erika/LisaR if they’re good, and says she wants to get a message to LisaR. Denise suggests LisaR be herself in the moment. Kim asks to have a private chat, and they sit.

Kim tells LisaR that she’s not looking for a fight, and LisaR looks beautiful. LisaR realizes she’s been over-the-top in character. Kim asks if she wants to say she’s sorry, but LisaR says Kim still hasn’t apologized for the bunny moment. Kim says, what about her? They used to have a nice relationship, and she’d be happy to go back to that, but LisaR has to be nice. LisaR agrees what she did wasn’t appropriate, but neither was what Kim did. Kim asks if LisaR can’t see her side. In Kim’s interview, she says there’s a lot of damage to repair. She doesn’t regret giving back the bunny. She was hurt by a lot of things LisaR did. LisaR says Kim caught her off-guard. She was scared to see Kim, and reacted that way. In her interview, LisaR says Kim giving the bunny back was the most hurt she’s been by this group. We flash back to Kim giving LisaR back the bunny, and tears streaming down LisaR’s face. She says it was like a gut punch. Sorry. I have no sympathy for her. Kim can be a nut, but LisaR dogged her the whole season. And if that’s the most hurt LisaR has been, she doesn’t know what hurt is. She says she’s sorry for what happened between them. Can they move on? Kim suggests forgiving each other. LisaR is glad their having this conversation under a dead angel. They hug, and Kim says, miracles happen. You never know.

Next time, Brandi (bleh) meets with Denise (I love Denise, but not so much her choice of friends), Camille says Teddi has gotten too big for her britches, Kyle plans a girls trip to France, and Camille’s house burns down.

🐍 LisaR autocorrects to lizard. Just sayin’…

💩 Stupidest. Sh*t. Ever.

One more reason to look at LisaR with disgust.

I rarely tweet, but I had to reply to this nonsense. You can say she was thoughtless. You can say the joke was tasteless or inappropriate. You can say a lot of things, but LVP is not transphobic. You, however, are a real piece of work, who should not be so proud of her big mouth.

But LVP remains a lady, acknowledging a poor choice of words.

And Vanderpump still rules.

🎡 Some Housewives Fun…

Just to balance it a little.

💸 The Breakup…

Did Fifty/Fitty/Fofty come between Lala and her man?

Just because I didn’t even know Perez Hilton was still alive.

👑 Because Why Not?

And because Candace gave me an earworm.




May 27, 2019 – No Hospital, VPR Fake Out, a Double Dose of Gordon, Thrones Explained, Leslie’s Final Watch & Remembering


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

As I thought it would be, today was a rerun. At least it was a special one – the April 2nd episode where the characters had a scavenger hunt at the hospital, per the instructions in Gail’s will. Even though it was an enjoyable episode, I chose to watch People’s Court, which I love, but hardly ever get to see. I’m pleased to report that Doug Llewelyn is still just as annoying, sticking his microphone in the defeated litigant’s face, saying, so how does it feel to be a big loser? It always boggles my mind that no one has punched him out… yet.

Vanderpump Rules/Summer House

Tonight, even though the season has ended for Vanderpump Rules, the digital guide said Bravo was airing a new episode, describing it as a mash-up with Summer House. But what was listed as Vanderpump Rules was really a retrospective of the past Summer House season with some of the VPR cast – Stassi, Beau, Katie, and Schwartz coming on the scene forty-five minutes in. I felt ripped off, since it all turned into a two-hour episode of SH, half of which I’d seen already. I was like, yay! I get to hear about new cast member Jordan’s ED problems all over again. Kyle wanted to propose to Amanda, even though he’d cheated on her five minutes ago. Stassi advised against the timing, and Kyle broke down in tears. Carl did give a nice mixed metaphor when he said he got past first base and scored a touchdown. I don’t know much about sports, but I do know bases and touchdowns are from two different types of games. Next week is the finale, which is sure to have an amusing moment when Kyle asks Amanda’s father for his blessing. Her father’s response? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Looks like there might be more tears coming for Kyle.

🍳  MasterChef will begin it’s 10th season this Wednesday, May 29th at 8 pm, followed by Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back at 9 pm. I need one of those TVs where you can watch more than one show at the same time.

🐉 They Keep Me Hangin’ On…

A happy ending for Jon Snow. No, not that kind.

The Geeks explain.

Leslie Jones’s final watch. I love her.

🍻 🍗  That Went By Fast…

If you were blessed enough to have one, hope you enjoyed your long weekend, but also hope you remembered why you had one.




May 24, 2019 – Two Villains Are Stopped, Inside Ball Info, Hanging Onto the Throne, Tarantino’s Hollywood, New TV, Advice, a Question, Six Quotes Plus Two & Saturday Saturday


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny tells Margaux, it looks like Shiloh lost a couple of his true believers. Margaux says Sonny appears to have rendered them unconscious. He says, it couldn’t have been too bad. They walked out under their own power. He hopes they went to the bus station, and got out of town. She asks if he threatened them, and he says, what difference does it make? They’re gone. He tells her that she’s dodging his question. Where is Shiloh? She asks how she would know, and he says Shiloh is her leader. Where would he try to hide?

Shiloh says Sam wants this as much as he does. She says, no, and feebly pushes at him. She asks why he brought her there. He says it’s their special place, where he told her they’d see the dawn together. Everything has been leading up to this moment. She says, no, no, no, no, and he kisses her.

Laura calls Lulu, and tells her that it’s official. Ryan is back in town. She asks where the kids are, and tells Lulu that she needs to be careful tonight. Curtis runs in, and asks where Chase is. Laura says Chase organized a manhunt, and asks how Jordan is. He says, not good. She went into cardiac arrest, and he needs to locate Ryan now. She says, he’s not getting away, and the police have orders to shoot on sight. He says, Ryan has to be brought in alive. Jordan’s life depends on it.

Chase calls Julian, looking for Ava. Julian says he hasn’t seen her since he was arrested. Try the bars, or her new boyfriend’s place. Chase says let him know if Ava contacts him. Chase gets a message, and Lulu wonders if he has something.

Ryan asks what Ava is doing. She says what she’s dreamt of since the moment she found out he killed her daughter. He says she doesn’t want to shoot him; she loves him. They belong to each other. She shoots.

I’m not loving the latest opening credits. They look kind of cheap.

Curtis tells Laura that dialysis was a strain on Jordan’s heart, and she needs a transplant yesterday. Laura says Doc was a match, but he says Doc is pre-diabetic. It rules him out as a donor, but Ryan is a match. They have to catch him, and bring him in alive. He asks her to call off the shoot to kill orders. She understands, and she’ll locate Chase. In the meantime, Ava is missing. The theory is that she set a trap for Ryan. Curtis suggests checking the gallery, Julian’s house, and Kiki’s old apartment. He tells Laura to make sure it’s understood how important it is to bring Ryan in alive. It’s Jordan’s only chance, and he can’t lose her. They hug. Lucy sees them, and asks if Doc is okay. Laura says, he’s fine; he’s being monitored. Lucy says she just left the Nurses Ball, and it’s crazy. The cops are busy looking for Ava. She believes Ava fled the city, since she thinks of no one but herself. Curtis hopes not, for Jordan’s sake. Lucy wonders what Jordan has to do with it, and he says, it’s a complicated issue. She needs a kidney. Doc is a match, but can’t donate; however, Ryan is also a match. He says, where Ava goes, Ryan will follow, and Lucy thinks maybe there’s something she can do.

Chase tells Lulu, it was a false alarm, and Lulu says, Ryan could be anywhere. Chase says he has everyone searching, including the FBI, from lower Canada to NYC. Ava is off the grid, and turned her phone off. Lulu wonders if Ryan has killed or kidnapped her, but Chase says Mac, Felicia, and Doc believe she was setting a trap for Ryan; luring him in. She’s planning on murdering him herself. Lulu says, revenge for Kiki.  

Ava says, that was a warning. She’s not ready for Ryan to die just yet. She wants him to feel the same terror his victims did. The way Kiki did. He says he did it for her. He did it out of love. She says she already knew that. It haunts her every waking moment, and keeps her up at night. Ryan – who is sometimes not too bright – says she told him she was better off. She says, she lied. Did he honestly think she could love him, and believe she’d run away with him? She’s been planning this for months. Ever since that night on the bridge, she’s been waiting to kill him and get justice for her daughter. He says, no. She won’t. She can’t. Their bond it too strong. She says he’s going to die for what he did, and it won’t be quick. She’s going to give him time to hurt as much as she does. She shoots again, and says she’s an excellent shot. He won’t die until she’s good and ready. Is his heart pounding? Is he desperate for a way out, and no escape? Is that what it was like for Kiki? Tell her about her daughter’s last moments on earth.

Margaux tells Sonny that she doesn’t know where Shiloh is, and if she did, she wouldn’t tell him. He says she’s protecting a con man. No, worse; a predator. He thought she was smarter than getting involved with DOD. She asks what that says about Sonny’s daughter, and he says, she’s young and lost. He can see her falling into this freak show, but how did Margaux let herself get wrapped up in this organization? She says, because of him.

There’s a knock on Kim’s door. Julian answers, and it’s Brad. Julian asks if it’s about Ava, and Brad looks puzzled. He says he has to talk to Julian. Lucas is already upset enough. Julian tells him, keep it down; Kim is sleeping. Brad says something happened at the Nurses Ball, that could cause him to lose Wiley and Lucas.

Shiloh says Sam is exactly what he needed. He kisses her, and says, with her by his side, he can do anything. He unbuttons his shirt as he talks. He says they were destined to be together, and know each other on every level. It starts tonight. He starts undoing his pants, and Jason grabs him from behind. He punches Shiloh, and then… Well, throttle is a good word. He bounces Shiloh off the walls, and throws him down the stairs. Shiloh lies still at the bottom. Jason goes to Sam, and tells her that she’s safe. It’s okay.

Margaux asks Sonny if he thinks just because she moved on in her life, she forgot how Sonny turned it upside down? He took her father and mother away. Her entire life was based on a lie. She couldn’t shrug it off until she met Shiloh. She read his story, and his organization finally gave her peace. Sonny says, he fed her lies. She says Sonny surrounds himself with thugs and criminals. He’s not used to dealing with decent men. Sonny says, Shiloh is a liar and a predator. She needs to get it through her head that he welcomed her because he wants the DA in his back pocket.

Sam tells Jason that she wanted to stop him, and Jason says she did. She says she doesn’t feel good, and he picks her up, and takes her out.

Lucy says Ava wanted to buy a vacation spot in the woods. She thought it was weird that Ava would pick her as an agent, since she was mad about Ava stealing Doc from Laura. She looks at Laura, and Laura says, thank you. Curtis asks if Ava bought a property, and Lucy says she did, and didn’t even blink at the inflated commission. She also didn’t care that it was way out there; isolated. She asks if they shouldn’t call the cops, and Curtis asks, where is it? Laura says she needs to notify the authorities. Curtis says he’s just asking for a head start. He’s going to make sure Ava is okay, and Ryan isn’t shot. Twenty minutes. After everything they’ve been through, let him have this. Lucy gives him directions, adding, it’s way off the road.

Chase tells Lulu that he’s working on it, but he’s had no hits or leads, and there’s been nothing from the roadblocks. He believes Ava is waiting at her destination. Valerie is checking car rentals. Lulu says he’s doing a great job, but maybe it’s time to let the public know Ryan is on the loose.

Ryan tells Ava, masochism doesn’t suit her. She doesn’t need to hear this. She says, tell her or she’ll shoot the hand off that he has left. He says he tried to make it quick. He tried to be merciful. He didn’t want her to feel any pain. Ava told him that she wanted Kiki out of her life. He did that, so Kiki and Griff wouldn’t hurt her again. He tried to kill Griff too, but by that time, Ava was his. He asks if she remembers how happy he was when she told him that she loved him, and how happy she was when he said he loved her. She says that’s not what she asked. She wants to know what Kiki did when she realized he was there to kill her. Now! He says Kiki was scared and tried to get away. When he cornered her, she started to cry. She cried out for her mommy. Ava starts to get shaky, and he tells her that Kiki said, mommy… mommy… mommy.

Julian says, Lucas figured it out? What exactly happened? Brad says the Ball was a disaster before, then it got worse. Lucas thinks Wiley’s biological father is Shiloh. Julian says, the DOD guy? Because there are so many Shilohs in Port Charles. Brad says he’s taken Wiley to workshops. Shiloh kept wanting him to bring Wiley back, and now Shiloh found out Willow had his child. Lucas thinks Shiloh will be determined to find him.

In Sam’s hospital room, Jason tells her, try and get some rest. She struggles to remember, and asks, what happened at the tower? How did she get there? Jason says he and Sonny were monitoring everything that was happening. They heard Shiloh pressure her into drinking the tea, and when the tattoo was finished, he said something about it being fate that only his hands touched her. That’s when he and Sonny went in, but there were guards. Sam tells him, Shiloh said they’d be alone, and Jason says, he lied. There were two guys, and by the time he and Sonny got past them, she and Shiloh were gone. She asks how he found them.

Margaux asks why Sonny hates Shiloh. He only wants to help the community. He doesn’t care that she’s the DA. He’s never asked for a favor. Sonny says, that’s how he operates. If he was hauled in sex charges, would she charge him? She says she’s never seen him ask anyone for sexual favors or otherwise. Jason attacked him, and he didn’t press charges. Sonny says, it’s manipulation. Let him tell her how it works. He asks you to join his inner circle, asks for a Pledge – an ugly secret you can’t tell anyone. Once you accept it and sign it, he sets up an initiation, where he drugs, tattoos, and has sex with you. Sonny says, he’s not a lawyer, but doesn’t it sound like sexual assault to her?

Lulu says, they might get calls from people who have seen Ryan, but Chase says, or start a panic. Sightings that lead to nowhere. Laura calls, and says she may have Ava’s location. If Ryan is there, Chase needs to tell the officers to stand down. She’s saying it again – no deadly force. No shots. He needs to be brought in alive.

Ava says her daughter called to her, but she wasn’t there. He say he did it for her; anything for her. She says she didn’t mean it. She was jealous and hurting, and because of him, Kiki died. He believes she’s mistaken. Kiki’s last words were, tell my mother, I’m sorry. Tell my mother, I love her. I’m not buying it, but Ava is, and she’s starting to cry. He says, her daughter loved her. He begins to come closer, and says, but her daughter is gone and he’s there, and he loves her. She says, too bad. She’s going to kill him. He says, no, she’s not. Ava says, Kiki was beautiful and perfect in every way, and he killed her. Not for her, but for himself – she starts to walk around him – because he’s evil. She despises him. She’s given this a lot of thought. She wants to make sure he dies, but she doesn’t want it to be quick and painless. A shot to the gut is best. Something agonizing to cause him pain as lies there bleeding out. He says she doesn’t want to do this, but she says she does. More than anything she’s ever wanted in to do in her life. She takes aim.

Brad tells Julian that he’s had no one else to talk to. No one else knows he got the baby from a woman at the side of the road. Willow thinks Wiley is her biological child. When Shiloh comes after her, everything will be blown wide open, unless… Shiloh is reasonable, kind, caring. He’s been a wonderful advisor. Maybe Brad should tell him the truth, and he’ll leave them alone. Julian says, not a word to anyone, especially Shiloh.

Jason tells Sam that Shiloh said he was going to show her a new dawn, along with a stupid story about watching the sunrise. Sam guesses she may have passed out. She doesn’t remember getting there. She’s obviously upset, and says, the tower. Maybe Shiloh put her on the table. She tried to say no, but she couldn’t move. He started kissing her, and she could barely breathe. He was gone, then Jason was there. What happened to Shiloh? Jason says he threw Shiloh down the stairs. Sam asks, is he dead? Jason says, with any luck.

Margaux says Sonny is lying. Shiloh would never do those things. He asks, what’s wrong with her? He’s trying to warn her. Shiloh is a blackmailer and a sexual predator, but instead of launching an investigation, she’s defending him. Does he have something on her? She says, Sonny took her father from her, and he’s taking this too? He says he’s looking out for her. She asks why he cares, and he says, maybe he shouldn’t, but he does. Her mother and Skully made her into a victim. He doesn’t want to allow Shiloh to do the same thing. Save herself. Face the truth – if she wants to.

Lucy says that Laura just promised Curtis a head start. She says she didn’t promise, and Lucy says she let him believe it. Lulu joins them, and asks how Laura knew where Ava was. Lucy says, yoo-hoo! And Laura says, Lucy provided the information. Lucy says, sometimes it pays to be a realtor, in more than one way. Laura says she’ll make sure Lucy gets a commendation. Lucy says she could have been more help if they’d told her earlier, and saved herself buckets of grief, thinking Doc had fallen for Ava. Laura says Lucy does realize Doc is her husband, right? Lucy says, hope springs eternal, and strides off.

Ava says, one more thing, and I almost die, thinking, stop talking. Just shoot him, but don’t kill him. There’s something he needs to know. His brother is so much smarter than him. Doc knew exactly how to set him up and how he’d react. In the end – and this is the end – he was pedestrian and predictable. Ryan tells her, don’t say that. She says, the truth hurts, but if it’s any consolation, the bullets will hurt more. Twice in the gut and once in the leg should do the trick. Curtis opens the patio door behind her, and says, don’t shoot. Jordan had a heart attack, and was taken off dialysis. Ryan can be a donor if they keep him alive. She says he killed her daughter. Curtis understands, but asks what Kiki would want. For Ava to avenge her, or honor her by helping Jordan live. Ryan raises one eyebrow a scrinch and I laugh.

Lulu tells Laura that she had no idea Jordan’s condition was so serious. She asks what makes Laura so sure Ryan will cooperate? He couldn’t care less about helping a police commissioner… unless they use it to bargain with him. Laura says they’re getting ahead of themselves. They don’t know if Ava lured him in, or if the police will capture him and bring him in alive. Lulu can’t believe she’s going to say this, but she empathizes with Ava. She would want them to shoot on sight. Laura says, if Ryan had taken Lulu from her, she doesn’t know what she would want to do. Lulu says, Ava wants closure, but will any of them get it? Laura says, if he survives.

Curtis tells Ava to give him the gun. She doesn’t know if she can do that, Curtis says, if he dies, Jordan dies. Ryan will get what’s coming to him. Death would be merciful. Let this animal spend his life in a cage. Don’t put him out of his misery. Let him die slowly, while she lives her life, while he rots. It’s the best revenge of all. He takes the gun put of her hand. Ryan moves to pick up the knife, but stops when Curtis says, no. Chase runs in with some officers, and Curtis says, don’t shoot. He puts Ava’s gun down. He tells Ryan, you owe me, and Chase reads Ryan his rights while the officers cuff him. Ryan looks at Ava. He probably thinks she’s never been hotter.

Sonny asks Jason how Sam is. Jason says, recovering. She’s improving, and should be fine tomorrow. Sonny says they pulled out all the surveillance equipment, and Jason says Spinelli told him there was clean audio on everything that happened. They have good leverage on Shiloh, but he doesn’t know if it was worth it.

Sam dreams of being in the tower with Shiloh. He tells her it’s their special place, where they’ll see their first dawn together. Bleh.

Brad asks what Shiloh did to Julian, and Julian says, he’s poison. The only thing they’ve got going for them is that Shiloh doesn’t suspect Willow’s son is Wiley. If he goes for custody, the whole, messy situation will be exposed, and Brad will lose Wiley. Brad says, and Lucas. Tell him what to do.

Sonny goes into Shiloh’s hospital room. He flicks Shiloh’s face with his fingers, and I almost fall off of my chair. He says, good. Shiloh is awake. Remember his philosophy? Family first always, at any cost.

Julian says he’s not telling Brad what to do. He’s been dragged into this mess enough. Brad says he can’t trust himself not to say anything tonight. Julian tells him to revisit it when he’s thinking more clearly, but Brad says he has no time. Julian says, go home. One way or another, he promises not let take anyone take away Wiley, especially Shiloh.

Sonny says Shiloh messed with his family. Now he’s going to pay the price. That trip down the stairs was just a start. Sonny puts his face close to Shiloh’s, and says, terrible things are going to start happening, unless he hands over Kristina’s Pledge. Think it over. Someone will be by in the morning to discuss the details. Shiloh looks angry, and then sort of defeated. I wondered why Sonny didn’t ask for all of the Pledges, but I assume that will be evidence against Shiloh in an upcoming trial.

Sam continues to dream. Shiloh says, everything has been leading up to this moment. He kisses her, and unbuttons his shirt, saying, they’re destined to be together. She pushes at him, and Jason grabs him. She wakes up, and Jason comes to her bed. He says, it’s okay. She’s safe. She says, it’s really over; he’s really there. He says he’s not going anywhere, and holds her.

Laura tells Lulu, they got him. Chase is making the arrest as they speak. Lulu says, that’s good news, especially (WOTD) for Jordan. Laura feels the same way, but he’s managed to escape before. Lulu doesn’t believe it, and says, this time it will be different. He outwitted himself, and there’s no escape. He’s going to go to prison, and staying there.

Chase asks if Ava is okay, and Curtis asks to borrow Chase’s phone. Ryan smiles. Chase asks Ava for a contact, so he can take a statement later. As Ryan goes past Ava, he says she couldn’t pull the trigger. She loves him. An officer tells him, move, and shoves him forward. Ava picks up the knife, and plunges it into Ryan’s back. He falls. Chase’s eyes bug out.

Next time, Neil asks how the plan worked; Scotty tells Ava if Ryan dies, she faces a murder rap; and Sam tells Shiloh, game over. You lose. The digital guide says it’s a new show on Monday, but I doubt it, since it’s Memorial Day.

🏥 Useless GH Trivia…

Everything Five things you’ve always wanted to know about the Nurses Ball.

👑 If You’re Not Over the Throne…

Dealing with your grief.

How you really felt.

Watch in moderation

For those in denial. It’s not going to happen.

🎥 I Can’t Wait…

I love Quentin Tarantino films, and the thought of Tarantino + Helter Skelter makes my mind explose. And Kurt Russell is in it. I will die happy.

📺 A Few New Things…

One of my favorite show franchises in the world, 90 Day Fiancé, has yet another new spin-off. 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, where the shoe is on the American foot, premieres on Monday, June 3rd at 9 pm (TLC).

She’s ba-a-ack! An all new Dance Moms special, The Return of Abby, airs Tuesday, June 4th at 8 pm (Lifetime). It will be followed by the 2-hour season premiere of Dance Moms at 9.

🎯 A Few Random Things…

Two pieces of advice. 1) Don’t buy little kids items, like jewelry or shirts with their names on them. Way to hand a predator that information. And 2) Dad does not want Tupperware for Father’s Day. Unless he’s Ice-T or Gordon Ramsay.

One question. Can you put a water buffalo on a credit card?

📬 Quotes of the Week

My mother kinda laughed. She was like, ‘Queen? I ain’t calling you Queen.’Queen Latifah, telling Cynthia McFadden about her mom’s reaction to her nickname.

We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us. – Virginia Satir

Goth is dead, punk is dead, and rock n’ roll is dead. Trends are dead. Nothing exists anymore because the world is spinning faster than any trend. – Poppy

If you have dirty laundry, be sure to wash it at home. – Mexican saying, Texicanas

Can you take a selfie of me? – dad on Progressive commercial

Anyone who does anything to help a child in his life is a hero to me.Fred Rogers

Books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials, no batteries, hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent. What I wonder is why everybody doesn’t carry a book around for those inevitable dead spots in life. – Stephen King

Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.Bill Copeland

🚀 Because, Rocketman…

And it is the weekend.


May 23, 2019 – Ryan Finds Ava, a Runway of Real Women, Runway on Live, Runway Low Down & a Cooking Lesson


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sam says, it’s finally happening. Outside in the car, Jason listens in. Sonny gets in the car, and asks what he missed. Jason says they just got started. Shiloh says he’s looking forward to completing the transition. He’s starting to sound like a mad scientist.

Brad tells Lucas, calm down. Maybe Willow had Shiloh’s child, but why does he think that baby is their son? Lucas says if Brad adds up what he just laid out, it’s the only logical conclusion. The child Willow had is Wiley.

TJ tells Jordan dialysis knocked her out, but she’s on the mend now. He asks how she’s feeling, and she asks where Curtis is. TJ says he’s sure they’ll hear from him soon.

Mac says Doc’s pulse is strong, and his breathing is steady. Michael calls the police, saying a man was attacked, but they don’t know the extent of his injuries. Laura runs in. and asks, what happened? Michael leaves to find Chase, and Lucy explains they were breaking down the stage. When the curtains opened, Doc was hanging there. Who would do this to him?

Ryan looks in on Ava. She downs her drink, and waits, checking that the gun in her pocket is ready. She asks if it’s Doc. She turns around, and smiles.

Sam tells Shiloh, look how tense he is. Not that she blames him after… He says, finding out the person he trusted the most had his child. She says he might be upset, even outraged, but she doesn’t think outrage is his thing. He says it’s not bad enough Willow did that, but it’s all the things they could have accomplished and done. In the car, Sonny says, Willow. That’s Michael’s friend. No wonder she was so terrified of Shiloh. Jason says, one thing at a time. Sam suggests Shiloh get back on track. Don’t let Willow ruin this night for them.

Brad thinks he and Lucas should go home and talk it through. Lucas says, then he must think there’s something to talk through. Brad insists Wiley isn’t Shiloh and Willow’s child, but Lucas tells him to open his eyes. How many times have they bumped into Willow? Brad acts like it’s just coincidence, but Lucas says Willow was in a panic when Brad wanted to bring Wiley to DOD. Brad says, even if all that is true, Wiley still belongs to them legally. Lucas says if Willow kept the baby from his biological father, they could lose their son.

Doc comes to. He sees Laura, and says, thank God. He was afraid something had happened to her. Mac says Ryan was there. They found Doc literally hanging from the rafters. Lucy tells him, rest, and wait for the paramedics.

Chase tells Curtis that the phone call was garbled. Take him through it again. Curtis says, he and Laura tracked down the woman who hired the kid to steal drugs for Ryan. They believed she was harboring Ryan, but when they went back, she was dead; stabbed in the chest. He woke up with a massive headache, and they were tied to chairs in a room filled with gas. Chase says good thing they made it out, and Curtis says, just barely. They had just gotten out when the whole thing exploded.

Michael offers to take Willow home, but she says she’s fine. He tells her, it’s okay if she’s not. Shiloh is a threat that will have to be dealt with, but she’s not in this alone. She says she’s beginning to realize that.

Doc says Ryan must have been waiting for him. He’d ordered roses for Ava to give her after her performance. Where is Ava?

Ava says, thank God he’s safe. She heard Ryan was back, and was afraid she’d lost him too. He asks if she’d be lost without him, and she says, of course (🍷); he knows that. She asks, what’s the matter? He produces a knife, and says she has no idea how much he’s missed her. She says, Ryan. He hopes she’s not too disappointed. She asks if he has any idea how much she’s prayed for this moment. And he knows her… Ryan says, she doesn’t pray. She says, desperate times. She moves closer to him, saying she can’t believe he’s there. He tells her, not so fast, my darling.

She laughs, and Ryan asks if something is funny. She says she just missed him so much. Ever since that awful night. She asks him, please, put the knife down, and he says, why would he do that? She says she wants him to hold her; put his arms around her, and kiss her. He says, the way his brother did? He saw him kissing Ava all over social media. It made him sick. Did she find comfort in his weakness? How could she be happy with someone who can never, ever challenge her? She says she does believe he’s jealous. He asks if he’s what she wants, and she says it’s pretty obvious what she wants. Look past his own jealousy and into her eyes, and see it. Doc was a poor substitute for the man she loved, but Doc was still the next best thing to him.

Sam tells Shiloh, take back what’s yours. Don’t let anything ruin this night. This is for them to be there tonight. He says she’s right. It’s time for her induction into the Trust. Jason tells Sonny, Sam is playing this perfectly, but this is where it gets complicated. If Shiloh follows his pattern, he’s going to drug her. Shiloh tells Sam that he has some tea to help relax, and ease the discomfort while she gets the tattoo. She says she doesn’t need it. She wants to experience everything. He knows how brave she is, but this insures a peaceful transition. She says she doesn’t need it, but he tells her, it’s for the best. Trust him. She takes it, and Jason says, she’s going to drink it.

A nurse asks how Jordan’s pain level is, and Jordan says, manageable. The nurse tells her to hit the button if she needs another dose. TJ says, interesting. Curtis just texted him from Michael’s phone. He’s back in Port Charles. He’ll be there asap, and tell his mom that he hearts her. Jordan wonders why he didn’t just show up, and TJ says he probably thought she was sleeping. She asks if Curtis said anything about Ryan, and TJ says he read her the whole text. She needs to know if Ryan is still alive. She says she wants to call Chase, but TJ is sure Curtis will answer all her questions when he gets there.

The EMT says Doc looks good, but recommends he get checked out and get a CT scan. Doc says he’s not the one in trouble. Ava is. Chase says she told them she had a safe place to go, but Laura says they need to know where she is. Felicia says, maybe she’ll kill him. A girl can dream.

Chase apologizes for ditching Willow, but she says she’s all right. He says something is bothering her, but she says, it can wait. He says, tell him, and she says, Shiloh knows about the baby. He asks how? and says she was on the phone with her lawyer, and Nina overheard. They got in a fight, and Nina made a dig about her not keeping her child. Shiloh heard her. Michael says they’ll make sure Shiloh goes nowhere near the baby. Chase tells Michael to make sure Willow gets home safe. She says she can get home herself, but Chase says she’s told them over and over how dangerous Shiloh is. Now he knows about the baby. Michael is going to escort her home. She says, it’s generous, but Chase says, it’s selfish. He wants her safe. She guesses she’s out-voted, and he tells her, be careful.

Doc says he’s fine, but Laura says sometimes symptoms don’t show up for hours. He says he was hanging from the rafters? Mac says his brother is nothing if not consistent. Lucy asks why no one is surprised Ryan is still alive and tried to kill Doc. Curtis says he just got a text that Jordan is awake. Laura tells him to go, and thanks him for saving her life. He says he’s got her, calling her partner.

Margaux walks in, and says she heard Ryan was alive. She asks what they’re doing to catch him. Laura says, damage control? A woman is dead because of her.

Brad tells Lucas that they should call Alexis, and ask what their options are. Lucas asks if Brad has any idea how bad is screwed up. If Wiley is Willow’s son, and didn’t let the biological father know, they might lose him. Brad tells him to stop. Michael asks Willow if her baby is his godson, and she says, yes. He says, how long…? She tells him, obviously, she knew Brad and Lucas were going to adopt him, but it was only after they knew each other, and Michael told her the name that she realized. He asks why she didn’t say anything, and then says, Shiloh. She says, Shiloh. Brad says, it doesn’t make sense. Why keep Shiloh, of all people, in the dark? He’s a great dad. Willow says, he’s a monster. Brad says Shiloh and DOD have helped him, and Willow says, DOD is a cult. Lucas says she gave him up so Shiloh wouldn’t know, and she says, yes. Now he knows.

Laura says Margaux called off the search, and at least one woman is dead. Margaux says she made an educated decision. Laura asks if that’s what she calls it, and Margaux says the Canadian authorities presumed he was dead. Laura says, it’s more like an arrogant assumption. Mac says Margaux has seen the records. She knows how many times Ryan has been believed dead and somehow survived. Laura says she and Curtis nearly died in an explosion because she called off the search. Ignoring this, Margaux says she’ll need statements from everyone. Chase joins them and says, nothing has turned up, but two of Ryan’s three victims are accounted for; Carly and Lulu, but they have no location on Ava. Mac says he warned them this was dangerous. It worked, and now he’s back. It’s time to bring the authorities up to speed. Margaux asks what the plan was. Laura says Ava and Doc pretended to have a relationship to make Ryan jealous, and bring him out in the open. Lucy says she knew Doc would never fall for that sleazy tramp.

Ryan says he has to hand it to Ava. If she’s lying, she’s putting on one helluva show. She’s glad he finds her heartbreak entertaining. He says there’s one thing she can do to convince him of her sincerity. Tell him about Kiki. Ava says, what about her? Ryan says he killed Kiki. As his brother would say, how does that make her feel?

Curtis sees Jordan, and asks TJ how she’s doing. TJ says, her infection is better, but her stress level is high. Curtis says that’s on him, and TJ agrees she was very worried about him. Jordan wakes up, and says, Ryan Chamberlain. Did Curtis catch him? He says they’ll talk later, but she says tell her now. Curtis says they found him. He got away, but don’t worry. Chase has the whole force out looking, and he’s there now. The machine she’s hooked to beeps wildly machine beeps. She says, Ryan Chamberlain is in Port Charles, and passes out.

Shiloh says, usually Harmony does the tattoo. She likes to make them large and ostentations, but he thinks a more intimate emblem would be appropriate. Sam mumbles something, and he says she’s his proudest student. I’m guessing he means the one he’s most proud of, but for someone who wrote a book, he don’t know good English. He says it’s only right that only his hands should touch her. Sam says, no, and he starts to turn her over. She says the tea was stronger than she thought. Jason says, it’s time. He and Sonny get out of the car.

Ryan says Ava must hate him. He killed her; the one Ava loved most in the world. Then he took her to bed to use her as an alibi. Ava says she loved Kiki, and grieved for her. She always will, but he had no way of knowing. She talked about how much pain and betrayal Kiki caused her. Ryan says he murdered her, but Ava says she knows why he did. He did what he thought needed to be done to stop her pain; the pain Kiki caused. The truth is, as much as she wanted to love her daughter, all that was left between them was pain. He didn’t take away what she loved the most. He freed her. What she really loves the most is him. She hopes he feels the same. He says no one will love her as much as he does. She doesn’t think they will.

Margaux says Lucy wasn’t part of the plan, and Lucy says apparently she wasn’t privy to their conspiracy. Margaux asks her to leave, since she’s not directly involved, and has no relevant information. Lucy says she has one thing to say passing. Margaux botched this horribly. Ta. Margaux tells them to give her details, and Felicia says it was her idea. She knows firsthand what it’s like to be the center of Ryan’s obsession, and knew he wouldn’t stay away from Ava. Doc says since the search was called off, they had to go on the offensive. Margaux says, so they took the law into their own hands. Laura says, someone had to, and it’s not a crime to lie about your relationship. Doc says they knew he’d come back to find her, and Margaux says, especially since she was with him. Felicia says they tried to make the relationship as public as possible. Mac says they did have ground rules. If he appeared, they’d call the police. Margaux takes Chase aside, and says they have a mess with a rising body count. If they can bring Ryan in, excellent, but if they think they’re in danger, they have the authority to use full legal force. Chase isn’t sure they’re allowed to do that, but she says she’s prepared to take responsibility. Just get the job done.

Curtis wonders why the hell he told Jordan about Ryan. TJ says he knows how stubborn she is. She makes her own choices. Curtis says, she’s about as strong and stubborn as they come. That’s why she’ll get through this. Monica blows past, saying she’ll be back with an update. She goes into Jordan’s room, and Curtis wonders why the Chief of Cardiology is there.

Jason and Sonny walk into the DOD house. Two dudes meet them, and one looks at Jason, and says, Shiloh doesn’t want him there. Jason drop kicks him across the room. Sonny tells Jason to go. He’s got this. Sonny and the other dude struggle for a millisecond, before Sonny slams his head into a table. Nice little fight scene.

Lucas asks Willow how they’re going to protect Wiley when his biological father didn’t give up his rights. She says he was never supposed to find out. She’d started a new life, and didn’t know there was a chapter of DOD there. When she found out, she made plans to leave. Michael asks why she didn’t come to him. She says she didn’t think he could help. Brad says, because Shiloh is an unstoppable monster, obviously not believing it. She asks if he’s ever met someone who could get around the law, and literally gets away with murder? Michael says he has. (Yeah, Sonny.) If she’d left when she wanted, he’d have never known. Lucas asks what stopped her? and she says, Brad did. He got involved with DOD, and wanted to take Wiley there to Shiloh. Brad says he didn’t know, but insists he wouldn’t have let Shiloh do what she thinks he would. From what he’s seen, he’s having a hard time wrapping his head around Shiloh being evil. What has he done? Michael says, blackmail, coercion, drugging people, and sexual assault for starters.

Jason goes into the attic room, but no one is there. He sees the teacup, with some tea still in it. Sonny follows him, and asks where they went. Jason says he thinks he knows. Sonny tells him, go. He’ll stay there and get answers from one of Trust members.

Monica comes out, and says Jordan is stable. They can see her when the nurse finishes, but she needs to talk to them. She’s stable, but they don’t know for how long. Cardiac arrest isn’t uncommon after surgery, especially if there’s an underlying heart condition. Curtis says Jordan is in excellent health; she takes amazing care of herself. Monica says, she has an underlying arrhythmia. It’s common, and not life-threatening. TJ says, except for patients on dialysis. Monica says she won’t be able to continue on dialysis much longer, but she’s at the top of the transplant list, and they’ll send out another alert. Curtis says Doc tested positive, and agreed to the operation, but Monica says, sorry. He has a separate medical condition that rules him out. At the moment, they have no viable donors.

On the phone, Chase says they need to send a unit to the gallery and Ava’s house. If there’s any indication as to where Ava might be, put out a bulletin out. Laura tells Doc he should get to the hospital. He says he will, if she does. At least he wasn’t in an explosion. He can’t reach Ava, and thinks this was Ava’s plan all along. Mac asks, what? and Doc says, justice for her daughter. Felicia says she deliberately lost contact with them so she could go after Ryan with no one to stop her.

Ryan says he saw Ava perform, and she was magnificent. She’s glad he enjoyed it. The whole time she imagined she was singing to him, but never dreamed he’d make his way to her so quickly. He asks if she believed he’d come back, and she says that’s why he jumped off the bridge and took her with him. He never intended for them to both die. They both lived, and she knew he’d find her. He says here he is, and she asks how he found her. He says he’ll always find her. She asks, is that a promise or a threat? and he says, why can’t it be both? She says he’s incorrigible. That night in Niagara Falls, he said they could travel the world, and leave Port Charles and everyone in it behind. Is that still possible? He says, is that what she wants? and she says, more than anything. He says she told him that she’d never leave Avery, but she says that’s how she felt at the time. Truthfully, as much as she loves Avery, inevitably, she’ll disappoint Ava, and the love will end. The only real, true, permanent love she has is right there. She never loved anyone more. In Niagara Falls, he said they make each other whole. He asks if she remembers she said he was her gift. She says, he was, and he can be that again. He says, that’s the question, isn’t it? Can he really give her what she needs?

Brad still isn’t convinced about Shiloh, and wants specifics. Michael says, what Shiloh did to his sister. He saw a threat. Willow tells them, Shiloh will do what he can to get his hands on Wiley. Michael says they have to work together to protect him.

Sonny looks through some stuff in the room. Margaux comes in. She says, funny. When he demanded they meet, she wondered if she’d find a body, and there’s two by the front door. He says, they’re just taking a nap. The place with an open door policy, didn’t welcome them with open arms. She says she has a serial killer on the loose. He says, the search was called off, and she asks what he wants. He says, her fearless leader. Where is Shiloh?

Shiloh carries Sam into the lighthouse. She asks where they are, and he says, a special place. The place where they’ll see their first new dawn together. It’s where she becomes his.

Curtis and TJ go back into Jordan’s room, where she’s on oxygen. TJ wonders how he’s going to tell his mom that she might just have a week. Curtis says he won’t have to. She ain’t gonna die. TJ says, not on his watch. Curtis says, Doc was a match. So is Ryan. I think they should just rip his kidney out of him with no anesthetic, and let Ava do it while they’re at it.

Chase advises everyone that if they see Ryan, let the police know. Keep away from him. Don’t follow him. Don’t engage. Understood?  Laura says the parameters have changed, and it’s escalated. They’re no longer trying to catch Ryan now. Mac says they’re going to use whatever action necessary to stop him.

TJ asks Curtis if he thinks that can save Jordan. Curtis says, maybe. They just need to get to him. Maybe his mom has a chance. Curtis kisses Jordan’s forehead, says he loves her, and jets.

Ryan says all he wanted was to fulfill Ava’s dreams. She says he is, just by being there. He found his way back, and they can be together, but… Ryan asks, what’s wrong? She says, it’s the knife. It’s disconcerting. He says, sorry. Force of habit, and I literally lol. Ryan can be funny. He puts it down, and says, now where were they? She says, right here, at the start of their happiness. Two halves of a whole. Ryan says, two sides of the same coin. She says they understand each other better than anyone else. She asks if he knows why, and he asks, why? She says, because neither one of them is afraid to watch the other die.

Tomorrow, Julian tells Brad not to say a word, Sonny asks Margaux where Shiloh is hiding, and Curtis tells Laura that Ryan might be Jordan’s only chance.

This week’s Project Runway challenge was to create dream dresses for civic workers who keep NYC moving. Instead of professional models, the designers dressed a postal worker, a sanitation worker, a teacher, a police officer, an EMT, and a ferry deckhand. The guest judge was Danielle Brooks from Orange is the New Black. The contestants met Christian at his atelier, The Curated, where he creates and sells his designs. We got the tour, and Hester said she wanted her own million story brownstone filled with amazingness. Me too. The message was to make high fashion more inclusive, and Christian said they would be dressing those underserved in the fashion community. We found out lunch breaks are to practice your runway walk.

It was take your designer to work day, and the designers got an idea of what the women were looking for. All of the contestants seemed to have a hard time custom making something, and not thinking solely of what they wanted. We heard not my thing a lot. Jamall, who had the deckhand, said she didn’t want to show her arms, and couldn’t seem to grasp the concept of a sheer sleeve. Garo suggested maybe it was just the upper arm she didn’t like, and no matter what the model’s size, he liked to cover that, saying, who wants the armpits? I know I don’t. Tessa made an executive decision to design pants until Christian reminded her the challenge was for a dream dress, and even if the judges loved it, she’d be going home, so she rethought that. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Hester felt she gave the client too much of what she’d asked for, and not enough of what she, as a designer, thought the client needed. Christian told Tessa that Brandon was going to get on her for the raw hem on some chiffon, but I like a raw hem. I love distressed materials in general, so it goes with the territory. When I saw an ad that said the show was brought to us by Maybelline, I said, yeah, I noticed. The product placement is quite heavy.

I’m not going through every single dress, since I’m not good at dress description, and they weren’t that exciting IMO. Let me put it this way, none of them were my dream dress. I did think the two that vied for winner were lovely though. Garo dressed his postal worker in a blue bodycon dress, with a sparkly off-the-shoulder neckline, and a detachable cape. Sebastian was my favorite, with a sanitation worker who had Disney princess in mind for a dress she wants to wear to her future engagement party. She walked the runway like a pro, and we found out she had been Miss Staten Island. Bishme got kudos too, for his teacher’s blue peplum number. I’m not a fan of a peplum waist, but had to admit, the way he draped this was unique and definitely wearable. On the bottom, was Hester (!), although she was the first to be safe. Her own prediction came through in that they thought the design lacked her personality. Also with a low score was Tessa, who blatantly refused to give her EMT client what she wanted. Brandon thought the dress was Tessa’s dream dress, not the client’s, especially since their favorite color was pink, and the dress was black. There had been pink accents, but Tessa removed them at the last minute, much to the client’s dismay. It was tough for the judges to decide between Tessa’s lack of passion and playing it safe, and Jamall’s incredibly uncomfortable deckhand. He’d made a strapless gown that lacked support and didn’t fit very well. It made me feel uncomfortable. Nina said, technically, it was falling apart. We flashed back to Jamall’s other curvy model flubs. The judges felt it was a mess of a dress that didn’t fit or flatter, and thought both of them had simple ideas that they couldn’t execute.

Sebastian was the big winner, with his pink off-the-shoulder retro confection. It had a flouncy, cocktail-length skirt, with a huge bow at the waist that reminded me of the ribbon candy you see at Christmastime. It got my vote too. The judges said he’d made his client feel special and beautiful. Danielle said it was important that the next generation be included in the fashion conversation, which I guessed was a fancy way of saying they need to make bigger sizes in designer clothing. She ended up having the wisest words of the night when it was a toss-up between Tessa and Jamall being out. She said, one of them talked more than she listened and the other was willing to listen.

While in my head, I kept repeating, Tessa out! it was not to be. I find her argumentative, and full of excuses. She even insisted that her client did want black, not pink. She pouts a lot as well, which isn’t an attractive quality. The worst part of all was that they fooled me by saying, Tessa… you are in. Wtf? Why? Why did they do that? usually it’s, [insert loser here] … you are out. The judges were gentle though, saying, clearly Jamall was an artist with a vision, who had unlimited promise. I think it was really a construction thing. He seems to have difficulty with technical stuff. Christian said Jamal got the warmest goodbye there he’d ever seen. On his way out, Jamall said that he learned had more to do, but was more confident, and going out into the world a whole new bitch. Next time, the designers’ visions of an experiential fashion show. Cardi B will be a guest judge, and Sebastian threatens to quit.

🍸 On a side note, Tessa and Bishme were guest bartenders on Watch What Happens Live tonight. Which, I might add, is on a break until June 9th. I swear, Andy is always on a break.

👗 The Blow-by-Blow…

My favorite recap, live minute by minute, almost.

😹  Just For Fun…

Learn how to make Fourth of July Heritage Loaf. Even I cook better.

May 22, 2019 – Ryan Has the Upper Hand, an Upstate Birthday, a Charming Housewarming, Weird Crossover, Goodbye Star & a Margarita


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Scotty tells Ava it was quite number. Ava says, the audience seemed to like it. Lucy says, the Nurses Ball audience is the kindest audience in the entire world, and will clap for anything, no matter how obvious and cliché. Ava says everyone is there, especially her, to serve the greater good.

Backstage, Ryan tells an unconscious Doc that he saw his darling Ava. She gave the performance of a lifetime. It was like she was singing just for him. Soon, she’ll learn the reports of his demise are premature. Doc’s demise, however, promises to be timely.

Sonny says someone stopped by the house, and had an Uber outside. Cameron tells Sonny that he helped Oscar record a message that he promised to give Josslyn before the Ball. Carly says, Oscar wants Josslyn to sing their song.

Jax finds Josslyn, and says her mother was wondering where she was. He was too, but he’d never say that. He’s too cool of a dad.

Nina swills champagne. Michael takes it she didn’t like the last number. Valentin senses something amiss, and Nina tells Michael that his little friend has quite a mouth on her.

Willow tells Shiloh, excuse me, and tries to breeze past him. He wonders what that was about a child, and she says, Nina doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Shiloh says Nina seems convinced Willow has a child. Willow should just start screaming that he’s assaulting her.

Mac asks Chase what he’s got. Chase says Curtis and Laura found where Ryan was hiding. They got no help from the owner of the house, but they called later, and Laura and Curtis came back. It was a trap. Ryan had killed the owner, and ambushed them. They were immobilized, and the place was ready to explode. Felicia asks if they’re okay, and Chase says they got out just in time, but Ryan is coming back, and has a big head start. Felicia says, he could be anywhere. Ava says they know where he’s going.

Sam tells Lucas that she’s looking for her plus one. Lucas asks how DOD is working for her, and she says she’s learning a lot. I love how she never quite lies. Lucas says, Brad is getting a lot out of it. Brad comes back with their drinks, and says, what? Lucas says, Dawn of Day. He asks Sam, remember how anxious Brad was when they got Wiley? He’s not anymore. He used to wake up in a cold sweat, terrified they were going to lose Wiley.

Michael says, Willow is a good person, but Nina says, she’s not good at minding her own business. Michael says Willow isn’t going to be teaching there anymore because of her. Nina hopes so. Valentin says Willow only has herself to blame. She has a habit of interfering. Nina says Willow doesn’t think she and Valentin are suitable parents, and apparently, Willow gave up a baby, and didn’t want anyone to know about it. Michael excuses himself, and Sasha looks puzzled. Funny how it’s Nina who can’t seem to mind her own business here.

Willow says she doesn’t answer to Nina, who’s a self-involved drama queen. Shiloh says that’s why Willow hid. That’s why she ran, and changed her name. Willow says she’s not the only woman who’s run from him. She was taking her life back. He gets in her face, putting his finger in it, and actually seems kind of scary. He tells her, don’t lie to him. She was pregnant when she left. She says, yes, she was.

Lucy says she’s so proud that their community comes together to fight HIV and AIDS. The next act is a great example; an extremely talented couple who gets out for a good cause. Ned and Olivia sing Get Closer. Obviously ned has sung before – he is Eddie Mayne – but I don’t remember Olivia ever singing, and she’s pretty good. There’s much applause, and Ned and Olivia hug. I’m wondering how they pick the songs.

Shiloh insists it’s his child, and Willow says, sure about that? She asks, how does it feel to be lied to and manipulated, and be powerless? He doesn’t deserve a child. Shiloh gets a seriously scary face on, all angry and bug-eyed, and punches the wall. He grabs Willow, and she says she lost the baby; she had a miscarriage. He grabs her face, and says he sees it on her face and in her eyes. She’d better tell him where the baby is. She says, there is no baby, and Michael grabs Shiloh from behind, tossing him across the room like the garbage he is. Michael takes off his jacket, and says if Shiloh wants Willow, he has to come through him. Wow. Michael is impressing me for the first time ever.

Valentin tells Nina not to let Miss Tait ruin her evening. Sasha says it’s incredible. Maybe next year, they can perform together. If she makes it. Nina asks why she wouldn’t, and Sasha says she means if she makes the cut. Nina says nothing would mean more to her than performing with her daughter. She apologizes for her mood. She’s not letting Miss Tait ruin the Nurses Ball for her.

Lucy approaches Josslyn, and says she made it. Nothing keeps a Jax down for long. Josslyn says she’s sorry, but she can’t sing. Lucy had said that was okay. Lucy says she did, and she’s just glad Josslyn is there. She looks absolutely beautiful. They’ll talk later. Josslyn excuses herself. Carly says she’s going to have a word with Lucy, but Jax says she might embarrass Josslyn. Cameron says it’s his fault. He thought he did the right thing, but maybe it was too much pressure. Sonny says Oscar trusted him, and he had to do it. If Josslyn doesn’t want to sing, it’s up to her.

Chase tells Ava that they have an APB out, and checkpoints set up. Hopefully, Ryan knows better than to come back to Port Charles. Valerie says they’re working on getting protection for her. Chase says, meanwhile, she needs protection now. Does she have somewhere to go after the Ball? She says she does.

Backstage, Josslyn looks at the song, and hears Oscar’s voice saying, it’s your turn now. You still have everything ahead of you. He wants her to live her life to the fullest. Starting tonight. And when she sings their song at the Nurses Ball, know that she’s singing for both of them. He loves her. She says she just can’t. Sonny touches her shoulder. She says she thought she was stronger than this. Is he disappointed in her? He says, not now; not ever. Oscar wouldn’t be. She asks how he knows, and Sonny says, because he loved her. All he’d want is for her to smile and be happy. Know how he knows? He had a friend that died a while ago, and knows tonight is about helping people, but he didn’t get the help. It was too late. Josslyn says, Stone. Sonny says it took him a long time to figure it out. Stone ever really left him. He’s always there when Sonny needs him. He inspires Sonny when times get tough. Oscar is doing the same thing for her. She just doesn’t know it yet. He hugs her.

Scotty tells Ava that her date is a no show. Ava says she has no time for this, and Scotty asks, when she came off the stage, who was there? Him. Where was Doc? Asleep in his soup. She deserves better. He walks away, and she makes a call. She says she’s the owner of the Cedar Mountain property, and asks them to have the caretaker open the place. She knows it’s late, but she’ll be more than happy to pay generously. She’s on her way.

Sam tells Lucas and Brad that sometimes she wakes up during the night to make sure the kids are there and breathing. It’s called being a parent. They’re just finding out, and there’s no one to tell you, especially if you haven’t held your own kid before.

Michael says Shiloh has pushed his family too far. If he was Shiloh, he’d leave and not come back. Shiloh says he’s not going anywhere, because he’s a father. He tells Willow that he’ll see her soon. She cries, and Michael holds her.

Lucy thanks the audience and says, depending on who you ask, the next performer is either the second, third, or fourth most infamous Cassadine, but he’s definitely the most talented. She asks them to welcome Valentin, who accompanies himself on the piano, and sings Nothing Without You (which was hella hard to find using the lyrics).

Scotty sees Ryan, and thinking he’s Doc, says they need to have a little talk. Ryan says he’s in a hurry, but Scotty says he’s not going anywhere, and grabs his arm. His hand comes off.

We are interrupted by breaking news that says, this graphic is working. I’m not kidding. That’s all it says on the screen, like, five times. Thanks for letting me know.

Scotty says, Ryan, and Ryan hits him over the head with some kind of wrench. He throws his fake hand on Scotty and tells him, never let it be said he didn’t have the upper hand. He’s about to land another blow, when he hears Lucy and Epiphany arguing. Epiphany says she’d better not blame Josslyn. She’ll answer to Josslyn’s father, mother, and stepfather, and if not them, she’ll answer to Epiphany.

Michael tells Willow that he’s having that SOB arrested, but she says he didn’t do anything. Which is totally not true, since he had his hands on her, but okay. Michael tells her to sit down, and tell him everything.

Shiloh goes back to the table, and Sam asks if he’s okay. He says he just found out, in the worst way possible, he has a child, and the woman never told him. Sam says, that’s horrible. Michael and Willow sit back down. Lucas is like, hmm… Shiloh tells Sam, she claims she lost the baby, but he knows she’s lying. His child is out there, and he’s going to find it.

Jax approaches Josslyn. She asks if Sonny told him where she was. He says, yep, and he and her mom flipped a coin to decide who would find her. He won. He’s always been lucky like that. He asks how she’s doing, and she says she feels like she’s letting everyone down. He says she’s not, and the only opinion she should care about is her own. She doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone. Follow her heart, and she’ll know what to do. She says, what if the right thing is really hard? and he says he’ll be in her corner, no matter what she does. Oscar will be too. He hugs her.

Mac asks Lulu when was the last time she talked to her mom. She asks, what’s going on?

Ava checks herself out in her compact, and walks to the exit. Ryan watches from backstage.

Chase tells Valerie, the Ball is almost over; it’s going to get dicey while everyone is leaving. Valerie says, all of his likely targets will be in one place. Shiloh blows past, and Valerie wonders what that’s about. Chase doesn’t care, as long as that sleaze is away from Willow. Olivia and Ned approach them, and Olivia says the place is crawling with cops. What’s going on? Chase says he’s gotten word Ryan Chamberlain is alive, and it’s presumed he’s on his way back.

Epiphany sees Scotty struggling to his feet. He says, his head, and she says, too much fun tonight? She’ll call him a car. She thinks he’s drunk.

Sam tells Shiloh to look at her and breathe. Let peace flow through his body. Shiloh is all bent out of shape, but says, okay, trying to calm down. She tells him give himself a minute. He just found out he’s a father, and she’s worried about him. He thanks her for her commitment to him and DOD. It means so much. She knows what it’s like to have a child taken away, and doesn’t want him to go through the same thing. He appreciates her, and says, now more than ever, he needs her to be in the Trust.

Michael sits with Willow. Everyone shoots looks at each other. Lucas tells Brad he just had a terrible thought. Willow and Shiloh.

Jax comes back without Josslyn, and tells Carly that Josslyn has something she needed to do. Lucy takes the stage, and says she’s so excited. The next performer is no stranger to the Nurses Ball. She’s excited, proud, and happy that they decided to return again. She asks the audience to give a warm welcome to Josslyn. Carly asks Sonny if he knew about this, and he says he had a feeling. Josslyn sits alone in the fog with the lyrics in her hand, and begins to sing, It’s Never Goodbye. The song is a lot better than I expected. She sees Oscar, dressed up, standing in the back of the room. She smiles and sings to him. He disappears, and so does her smile, but the song is done. They audience applauds wildly, but I’m wondering why they’re not standing, since that took a lot of guts.

Ava goes to her mountain house, and checks around. She locks the doors, and opens a metal briefcase. Looking inside, she says, come and get me Ryan.

Jax is proud of Josslyn, and hugs her. Carly says, beautiful, and hugs her. Josslyn tells Sonny he was right. Oscar was there when she needed him. On stage, Lucy says, beautiful, amazing, and heartfelt. She thanks Josslyn, saying Josslyn reminds her of why she’s so very honored to be a part of this event. The performers make them laugh and cry, and that’s what the Nurses Ball is about – great big feelings, and she hopes big money, big donations. Before the closing number, she has to thank a few people. The performers, who were absolutely amazing. The backstage crew. Without all of them, they could do nothing. They’re the unsung heroes. And a special thank you to Donna and Dale. They know why she’s thanking them. (I’m assuming those are crew members they lost this past year.) Most of all, she thanks the audience. They showed up with their pocketbooks and compassion. They want to see change, and beat HIV and AIDS, and every year they get closer. She tears up, and Mac yells, Lucy! They all applaud.

Shiloh asks Sam to come with him tonight. He wants to initiate her into the Trust. She says, now? He says, there’s a fight coming. He feels it, and needs her strength. Give him her strength. She says, okay. Let’s do it. His sly smile returns.

Willow tells Michael that she told Shiloh that she lost the baby, but he didn’t buy it. He’s going to come for his child. In the hallway, Brad wants to go, but Michael says Willow used to be with DOD. Shiloh said he had a kid, and Willow went off on them about letting Wiley near Shiloh. Brad says they’d better get home, and Michael says he knows what that means. Willow and Shiloh are Wiley’s birth parents.

Chase sends an APB out for Ava, and a unit sent to her penthouse.

Epiphany helps Scotty to a chair, and Valerie asks, what happened? Epiphany says, he overindulged, but Scotty says, that’s not what happened. Epiphany tells him that he needs to go home. He says he’s not liquored up. He was clubbed over the head by Ryan.

Mac tells Felicia that she needs police protection as well. Lucy calls for someone to open the curtains for the final performance. The curtains open, and Doc is hanging there in a straitjacket. Everyone is speechless. Lucy screams.

Ava’s phone rings, and she turns it off. She picks up the case, and puts it out of sight, next to a chair. She unlocks the patio doors, and pours a drink. Ryan walks to the door. He stands on the patio, looking in behind her.

Tomorrow, Ryan tells Ava that she has no idea how much he missed her, Laura tells Margaux a woman is dead because of her, Willow says Shiloh knows about the baby, and Jason tells Spinelli, it’s time to move.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Not getting Bethenny’s point, LuAnn says she didn’t feel what Bethenny did was a celebration, but an intervention. Bethenny says it was celebrating her life. She’s not getting it, and it’s basic math. LuAnn agrees she should have let Bethenny know she was going on later, but it was beyond her control. Bethenny tells her not to say negative things about her then. LuAnn says, it wasn’t meant to be negative. She didn’t mean hurt Bethenny. Bethenny says she was hurt. LuAnn says nobody was there, and they tell her they all were. Did this woman go to a different party? Tinsley says she didn’t even notice. In her interview, Sonja says, they’re not fans, they’re friends. Bethenny says, in the Berkshires, LuAnn referred to her as the queen bee, and said if she didn’t stay in the room Bethenny was taking, she was leaving. What has she done except support LuAnn? LuAnn says – wait for it – queen bee isn’t necessarily bad. Bethenny says, it was derogatory. Not everything is about her. I, I, I. It’s her favorite word. They all have their own lives. Everyone has their own sh*t. LuAnn admits to being upset with Dorinda, and throwing Bethenny under bus. Bethenny says, so is she sorry? LuAnn says she’s glad Bethenny came, and sorry she missed her. Bethenny wonders if that’s the apology – sorry I didn’t get to see you – and in her interview, wants to move the sorry. LuAnn says she appreciates all of them. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she understands, but feels ganged up on. New boyfriend Paul calls Bethenny, and she steps into the bedroom. Sonja says, it’s getting serious, and Tinsley asks what Marley thinks. Might as well.

In the bedroom, Bethenny tells Dorinda that LuAnn doesn’t get it. Dorinda does a funny pantomime, mimicking LuAnn. LuAnn joins them, and Bethenny says she’s done what she can to be a good friend. LuAnn says she wants a friendship she can trust, and Bethenny has been there for her. Bethenny says she wants to trust, and she’s been straight up with LuAnn. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she feels like Bethenny helping her is a get-out-of-jail-free card. She’ll always be grateful, but Bethenny is overusing the card. Okay. I guess asking for common decency in their everyday interactions is asking too much. Bethenny says she wants a baseline of respect. LuAnn’s little digs add up. LuAnn says she was upset, and apologizes. In Dorinda’s interview, she doesn’t think LuAnn has never thought she had to apologize for anything, including her arrest. She doesn’t like to be held accountable. LuAnn says Bethenny was there for her in a big way, and she missed her not being there at that moment. It’s not easy for her. In the kitchen, Sonja imitates LuAnn. LuAnn says being there, and not drinking; she’s on her own a lot. She made the comment out of spite, and she shouldn’t have. They hug. In her interview, Bethenny checks it off. She says, it’s like junk food; not satisfying, just cheap. It was a cheap apology. LuAnn asks about Bethenny’s new boyfriend, and Bethenny says she’s trying to be relaxed about it. In Bethenny’s interview, she says they’re dating, it’s evolving, and she’s happy, but she still loves, misses, and is mourning Dennis. She tells LuAnn that she wants her to stay sober and healthy.

Bethenny, Tinsley, and Dorinda head to the hotel. Barbara asks LuAnn how she’s doing, and LuAnn says, that was rough. She’s trying to chill. In the car, Bethenny says, that was cathartic. She wanted to be kind, and not attack. At LuAnn’s, Barbara says Bethenny was aggressive. LuAnn noticed that Barbara wasn’t chiming in, and let her sink or swim. In her interview, Barbara says she felt like LuAnn’s soldier for a long time. She’s done. LuAnn is on her own. She’s done all she can. LuAnn thinks Sonja stirs the pot. Sonja comes in, saying she’s exhausted. LuAnn tells her that she didn’t do anything but gossip. In Sonja’s interview, she says she has LuAnn’s best interests at heart, and if she’s a pot stirrer, give her the spoon. She needs to hear it. She tells LuAnn that they didn’t feel she was gracious.

Dorinda, Tinsley, and Bethenny get to the hotel. They deem the rooms adorable. Tinsley says she finds upstate boring, and wants to drink. Out of respect for LuAnn, she’d rather get bombed at the hotel.

Ramona arrives at the hotel. She brought centerpieces from her birthday luncheon for LuAnn. In her interview, Dorinda says she was too cheap to get flowers, and she didn’t invite them. She’s rubbing it in.

Sonja says she cleans up good, as she makes her hair messy. Dorinda says Bethenny will say Sonja has her sh*t together. Sonja says, after a glass of rosé, she feels adventurous. Everyone gets ready for dinner. Ramona has also brought a cake along, and Bethenny tells Sonja, Ramona takes the cake. No pun intended. Yes, pun intended.

They go to the restaurant where Ramona hosted her mother’s funeral lunch. She says it used to be a church. She points out various landmarks; it’s the town where she grew up. Her childhood home is five miles from there. She can’t remember the last time she was there; it might have been her mother’s funeral. Sonja say she hasn’t been there in ten years, but everything’s the same.

Ramona gives the restaurant hostess the cake, as well as the candles for it. They’re seated at the same table Ramona used to sit at with her family, and she’s freaking out a little. Bethenny asks if she wants to sit somewhere else, but she says, no. In her interview, she says, how strange is that? There’s only one table for six. She tells the others that she didn’t go to her father’s funeral. Her brother had him cremated, against her wishes, because he wanted to save money. Everyone is bummed. Ramona says she would have paid for it. In Ramona’s interview, she says she was left outside, so there’s a lot of darkness on the inside. Her father was abusive to her mother, and it was a horrible situation. Dorinda asks if she wants to go by the house, and Ramona says, no, very quickly. She says her father left all her money to Ramona’s sister and brother, as well as the house. The will actually said to his daughter, Ramona, he bequeathed nothing. Everyone freaks a little. In her interview, Ramona says she was broken. She was already upset. When he died, they’d reconciled, and to see it in writing was awful. Not that I don’t feel for her, but I’m surprised they don’t know it’s standard to write it in the will specifically, so there won’t be any question that it might have been overlooked. It’s always done that way, and maybe her dad didn’t think she needed anything, or never rewrote the will after they’d reconciled. She says her brother died three years ago. He hit a tree with his truck, and had a heart attack. Geez. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she didn’t know all that. Ramona has never presented it that way. She’s just used it as an excuse. We flash back to a reunion where she does exactly that. They order food and drinks.

In the car, Sonja says she wants to kill Ramona. LuAnn says she’ll be seeing Ramona tonight. In her interview, Sonja says there was no reason for her not to be invited to Ramona’s birthday luncheon. She’s in the bathroom when Ramona takes a sh*t. There’s no reason for her to be excluded from anything. Yeah, I’d say that’s pretty close, but also TMI. You’re welcome.

Bethenny doesn’t want to go all the way back to where LuAnn lives to see an eighty-year-old cabaret person perform. My jury’s out. It depends. Bethenny toasts to getting rid of bad memories, and making good ones there.

The other ladies join them. Dorinda says Sonja’s messy hairdo looks like she put her finger in an electrical socket. Bethenny is jealous. In Dorinda’s interview, she says Sonja looks like a cartoon. LuAnn gets right to it, and asks how Ramona’s birthday lunch was. They saw her Instagram. Ramona say she brought LuAnn the flowers for her home. Sonja says she’s friends with the hostess, and she wasn’t invited. Ramona stammers for a millisecond, and says she didn’t make the list. We see the clip again where Lucia asks Ramona if she can invite Sonja, and Ramona says no. Ramona says she’s having another party for thirty that will be more fun. Does Sonja want to come? Sonja says she wants to ramonacize it right away. In Ramona’s interview, she says she’s shocked at how much flack she’s getting. She has a lot of parties, and invites them, but she didn’t organize this one. Sonja says now the issue has been settled. Ramona says Rhinebeck is special, and Kingston is depressed. LuAnn says it’s happening, and Ramona tells her not to be delusional. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she has manners. She agrees the town sucks, but wouldn’t say it to LuAnn’s face. LuAnn says she wants to chill and relax. Dorinda says, she wants a blank canvas. Dorinda asks if it would upset LuAnn if they didn’t go tonight. Sonja says they can drink martinis there, and dance on the tables. Bethenny doesn’t want to argue. LuAnn says a friend of hers organized it. Bethenny says she doesn’t want to hurt the performer’s feelings. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, she’s starting a support group. It’s okay not to love cabaret. She’d rather relax at LuAnn’s house. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she put effort into this evening. It’s disappointing that they don’t want to come.

The birthday cake comes out, and they sing. Ramona and Bethenny blow out the candles, and make a wish. LuAnn hates to break this up, but hustles her group out.

Ramona, Dorinda, and Bethenny sit at the bar. Ramona says, everything came rushing back. This was her mother’s favorite restaurant. When she died, she wanted to have lunch there, but her father didn’t want to pay for it. Bethenny asks if they were still married, and Ramona says they were. Dorinda thinks it’s weird, and Ramona says her father’s mother beat the sh*t out of him, and that’s why he abused her mother. In her interview, Bethenny says, Ramona has never spoken about her past that way. Woman to woman; what she’s been through. It’s nice to hear she’s not using her past as an excuse for her present behavior.

the others go to the Crown Bar, where the cabaret act is, and also where the local gay bar is. In her interview, Tinsley says, only LuAnn can find a bar full of queens in the middle of nowhere. Did she fly them in? LuAnn say she met John while she was shopping to find furniture for the house, and he owned a fabulous bar with cabaret performers. Margarita comes out. She and LuAnn air kiss.

Bethenny tells Ramona, the name of the restaurant, Terrapin, means turtle. We flash back to turtle time, and Ramona gets the chills.

Barbara wonders who the guy with the hair is, and we see a youngish, dude with lots of hair. More on his head than facial, smiling at them. Sonja can’t believe she’s found the only straight guy, but that doesn’t mean she has to hit it. She tells Barbara not to cross the finish line before the race begins. Tinsley says, who are you people? Dude says hi, and Barbara asks if he’s saying hi to her or Sonja. He says her. Sonja thinks he should be left to LuAnn, who says she’s fine.

Ramona tells Bethenny and Dorinda that she had no love for her father. There was screaming and yelling, and as kids, they would hide under the covers. Bethenny says her mother weighed less than she does, and her father beat her. She would call the cops. In Ramona’s interview, she says she and Bethenny have both been through something similar that the average person wouldn’t understand.

There are no words to describe Margarita. Colorful just doesn’t cut it. She introduces herself, saying she’s from Cuba, and LuAnn got her the gig. She does an exceptionally weird version of Money Can’t Buy You Class, accompanying herself on the keyboard. In Sonja’s interview, she says LuAnn is preparing for her future; her retirement years. She can take over where Margarita leaves off. I can actually see that.

Bethenny tells Dorinda and Ramona that her mother complained that she gave up her whole life for Bethenny, and she was taken to nightclubs at fourteen. Dorinda says shame on her mother. That’s a disgrace. Bethenny says they’re all single mothers of an only daughter. She and Ramona are trying not to make the same mistakes their mothers made. Dorinda gets emotional because she didn’t know. Ramona says she and Bethenny are more alike than she thinks. Bethenny says they broke the chain. In her interview, Ramona says it hurts them both to open up, but Bethenny is more approachable, and they have a stronger connection. Ramona says Bethenny is a beautiful person.

Sonja and LuAnn get up and sing with Margarita. Because she only knows one song, and just one line from that song. Tinsley says it’s the best rendition of Money Can’t Buy You Class that she’s ever heard. In her interview, she says, sometimes being nice is not a good thing. She wishes she’d stayed with the other girls. Sonja dances with a guy and says, you’re gay, right? He says, that’s right, and she says, just making sure.

The next morning, Bethenny says her nightguard feels like cement in her mouth. Dorinda does an imitation of LuAnn. Tinsley come by, and Bethenny addresses her as Miss America. Bethenny says, the day after drinking, she feels like she was gang banged in a taxi in Times Square, and Tinsley looks like she’s ready to teach etiquette class. Tinsley imitates Margarita, and says, it’s next level crazytown. Bethenny asks if she smells a Grammy, and she says she does.

Barbara tells LuAnn and Sonja about the guy she met at the bar. We see a clip, and find out he’s a twin, and renovating his house. He tells Barbara that they have a connection, and Barbara says they can build stuff together. Sonja says Barbara looks mussed and fussed. Barbara says she wondered what LuAnn was thinking when she first said she was moving upstate, and now she feels a real need to get out of New York a little and spread her wings. LuAnn says there’s a whole universe out there. Sonja says, welcome to the Lu zone.

Bethenny, Tinsley, and Dorinda arrive. Barbara tells them about making out with the dude at the bar. Ramona gives LuAnn a gift box. Barbara says dude is renovating his house in Woodstock. LuAnn says they had a great time dancing, and Margarita learned to sing Money Can’t Buy You Class, which is debatable.  In her interview, Dorinda says she grew up in towns like this, and there are no great cabaret singers to woo them at eleven at night. Barbara has to get going. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she’s bummed that Barbara is the first one to leave. The others will be going in a few hours, and then she can chill.

Sonja says Ramona is acting nicer about the town today than last night, when she said it was a poor neighborhood. LuAnn opens Ramona’s gift of the candle holders. Sonja says, it’s one of those, I love it, but what is it? gifts. In her interview, Sonja says Ramona lights a stick of dynamite, then gifts. Bethenny tells them about the turtle revelation, and says they had an emotional sharing; a trust circle of single moms with one daughter. Dorinda says it was fascinating. Bethenny asks if she was a whiner, but Ramona says she opened up more.

It’s time to go. Dorinda has to regroup for a black tie event tonight. She tells Ramona not to give her attitude. Ramona says she’s not, but Dorinda says she made a face. Ramona tells her, don’t get defensive, and LuAnn says she saw it. Ramona says Dorinda said she was leaving by twelve, so don’t be surprised when she reacts. It’s like at the charity auction when Dorinda yelled at her. Dorinda says Ramona yelled back, and we revisit that embarrassment. In her interview, Ramona says she always make faces. If her friends got mad every time she made a face, she’d have no friends. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she gets an overall feeling from Ramona, and it builds up. It’s not specific, but it doesn’t make her feel warm inside. Tinsley tells Ramona that Dorinda is still upset about the charity event, but Sonja says Dorinda interrupted Ramona. Dorinda says she didn’t, and Ramona says Dorinda is the one who should apologize. Dorinda says Ramona wants to talk all the time, and imitates Ramona asking her to go to the Angel Ball, and telling her not to invite John. Ramona insists she told Dorinda to bring John, which is a new one. They flash back to Ramona switching place cards, like it isn’t already burned in our brains. No wonder Dorinda is still mad. She has to relive it every five minutes. Dorinda says Ramona is rude, and she ended up sitting at a table by herself. LuAnn says, that’s a big party to sit by yourself. Dorinda says, if Ramona doesn’t like it, too bad. Ramona says Dorinda wouldn’t let her speak, and Dorinda says, get stronger then. They do a no, you thing for a while. Ramona says Dorinda’s speech was fabulous, and Dorinda says, then what’s the problem? Ramona says, Sonja brought it up, and Dorinda says Sonja is starting trouble.

LuAnn says they always do this. Bethenny tells them, Dennis said, it changes so fast. Two of them are fighting when it started somewhere else.

Next time, Sonja says she doesn’t want to see LuAnn fail, a Miami trip, Ramona makes out with Harry, and Sonja tells LuAnn to STFU.

Southern Charm

Eliza was either bragging or complaining about being from a Charleston family, and said she comes from a mess. After her father’s baby mama drama, they were blocked from the social scene. She didn’t even get a debut, which I suppose is pretty devastating if that’s your thing. Cameron suggested she become more socially aware. She came on too strong, and didn’t know when to shut up. Kathryn has been burned, and didn’t have an easy life. Clueless Eliza told Cameran none of them had easy lives. Really??? Kathryn moved into a new house because she’s going to go for full custody after Thomas’s legal troubles. The rent is $6600 a month, so she must be doing well. Not to mention the place is gorgeous. She said it took her six years to be accepted by society, aka Patricia. Austen said Madison made him feel some type of way, and they’re exclusive. Kathryn thought their fighting was reminiscent of her and Thomas. Austen said she made him happy, and that’s all people should care about. Apparently, Naomie brings Gizmo to work. He is very cute. She started a women’s e-commerce apparel site, and it’s doing well. Her parents took tiny ideas and turned them into something special, and she wants to follow their lead. Her father taught her that no matter how successful something is, or how well it’s doing, you still go to work every day. Good creed. She also has a new boyfriend named Metul.

Craig now has an assistant, Anna. He needs someone to nag him who isn’t his girlfriend. She has her work cut out for her, since he doesn’t remember ordering a 55-gallon drum of beef jerky from Jack’s Links, or what a W-9 is. He thought over his position with Patricia while he was in the Bahamas, but can’t accept orders until he figures out how to make pillows faster. Because he’s never heard of outsourcing to a manufacturer either I guess. Shep and Danni discussed Austen and Madison. Danni couldn’t believe they’re still together, but Shep said, sometimes good guys have threesomes. Danni has a new main squeeze, Gentry, and Shep is kind of seeing this girl. He’s conflicted though, since he likes being by himself. Danni said he was a coward who’s afraid to be vulnerable.

Chelsea got a fixer-upper, and did most of the work herself. She also has a new boyfriend, Nick, a professional sailor who drives a truck. She’s happy. Cameran, Naomie, and Danni went to lunch. They discussed Kathryn’s rent being too damn high. Cameran wanted Kathryn to invest her money rather than throwing it away on rent. She told the others about Ashley getting an award for being an outstanding nurse, and they looked at a video of her making a speech, since no one believed it. Cameran said if she was getting an award for altruism, she couldn’t be 100% bad, but Danni said she was 100% evil. Cameran thought maybe if they’d met her pre-Thomas, it might have been different, but Danni and Naomie were like, no. Just no. Cameran said she might text her, and congratulate her. Naomie told her not to do them like that, and she said she was kidding. I want to get to the part where Ashley gets kicked out of some party. They made it seem like it was earlier in the season.

Chelsea had a housewarming party. While setting up, she wanted to plastic wrap pretty much everything, and have a designated area for Shep to sit. We saw some before and after pictures, and her work is quite impressive. Cameran didn’t think she should let anyone upstairs if they’d been drinking, and Chelsea said she didn’t want to let anyone in the front door. Their tequila faces looked like mine, and I wondered again why on earth anyone drinks that stuff. Austen was embarrassed that he’d gotten hit with costs, and had to put his beer business on the back burner. Shep got dumped before the party, and Whitney’s flight was delayed, so he couldn’t make it. They played several drinking games, one of which I think they were making up as they went along. Shep went on a bike ride, lost his girlfriend when her bike ran into a ditch, and found her at the wrong house. That wasn’t why she dumped him though. She’d seen Instagram pictures of him with girls on a couch. Even though he went to bed alone, Instagram got him again.

Kathryn got together with the girls, an asked for the gossip. Cameran said Kathryn and Whitney had a rendezvous in LA. In her interview, Kathryn said, the first time they hooked up, she was intimidated and didn’t tell anyone, but he ended up telling everyone. She was idiotically in love with Thomas, and he outed her. Now, she doesn’t give a sh*t. Cameran asked what it was like, and Kathryn said, it wasn’t bad. It made Naomie wonder if Craig was right that Whitney had been jealous way back when.

Austen and Craig met Whitney for lunch. Craig asked the status of Austen’s company. He said the beer wasn’t there to drink. Whitney asked what he missed at Chelsea’s party. Austen asked if he was dating anyone, since he and Kathryn were close. Whitney told Austen, eff you, and said Austen had no downtime between girlfriends. He didn’t get what was going on with Madison. Once it was done, it was done, but Austen said, not true. They discussed who Debbie was and why she was a downer.

Cameran has the cutest little dog, Elvis, who joined her and Shep while they checked the crab trap at Cameran’s place. Shep asked if she was giving him crabs, and she was surprised he didn’t have them already. That makes two of us. There was only one in the trap, and Shep insisted on putting his hand in to get it out. No surprise, the crab didn’t take kindly to being in the trap in the first place, and showed his displeasure by pinching Shep good. He let the crab go because he showed gumption. The crab reminded him of him; defiant and brave.

Shep said he almost fell out of his chair when he heard Whitney and Kathryn had hooked up. Cameran said Whitney was like a dog with a bone. She doesn’t think they’d have gotten together if Kathryn wasn’t friends with Patricia now. Shep said, mother approves. Cameran said that’s one way Patricia could get the grandchild she wants. Shep thought it would be perverse and wonderful, but the universe was not that good to them. Shep told Cameran that Madison had asked what his problem was with her. Cameran wondered how Madison’s infidelity was any different than Austen’s, and Shep reiterated his theory that it’s worse to have revenge sex; that person is more culpable. Cameran didn’t think he’d say that if the roles were reversed, but he swore he would. Everybody in town knew, and Austen looked like a clown.

Next time, Shep and Danni tells Austen that Madison tried to hit on Gentry, and Shep makes Austen call her on it.

😘 I love this show. It gives me an equal balance of humor and scandal, and/or hair-pulling. While I’ve dropped a few Housewives from my radar, and others are coming close, I look forward to Southern Charm. It lives up to its name.

😧 I saw the first crossover episode of Summer House and Vanderpump Rules, where Stassi, Beau, Katie, and Schwartz hung out in the Hamptons. Katie discussing Kyle’s love life with him was just weird.

😢 Sad TV News…

Even sadder than I still haven’t seen any of this season, is that Star has been canceled. Along with Queen Latifah’s hair.

😮 No Words…

Enjoy some Margarita.