May 6, 2019 – Sticking To It, Willow Gives Kristina the DOD Skinny, First Reunion Explosion, Mike Wins & VanderOpening


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


😵 Here’s the story. I’ve had a sick dog that I have to give meds to twice a day, and I might as well be giving them to a cat. The struggle is real. Plus a few other monkey wrenches thrown in, so I’m crunched for time. I’m hoping it doesn’t reflect (too badly) in the editing, and will give a mini-cap on Game of Thrones tomorrow. Some viewers will be dying happy. Others, not so much. So take this post in the spirit it’s given – the show must go on, even if it’s half-assed.

General Hospital

On the phone outside Kelly’s, Laura tells Doc it appears she has a secret admirer. A beautiful bouquet of tulips came, but the card wasn’t signed. Does he have any idea who it was? She thinks she’s talking to him. He says, guilty, and she says, thoughtful. He wants her to know he loves her, even if they’re not together right now. Doc is at the MetroCourt, and Ava arrives. He says he needs to go. It looks like it’s showtime. She tells him that she loves him, and break a leg. Robert sees Laura, and they hug.

Lucy tells Scotty that she needs help with the program. Maxie thought it was too glitzy. He suggests maybe it’s not glitzy enough. She thinks Maxie’s designer sense might be causing her criticize. Scotty says maybe she’s too picky, but Lucy says you can never be too picky about the Nurses’ Ball. It’s supposed to inspire confidence and romance. She’s suddenly distracted, and Scotty senses some sort of disturbance in the force. Lucy says, you could say that. She sees Doc pull out Ava’s chair for her.

Anna goes to see Jordan at the hospital. Curtis sits at her bedside. Anna is ready to read Jordan the riot act. She criticized Anna about going rogue. When was she planning on telling Anna that she was in the hospital? Did it slip her mind? Jordan apologizes for the secrecy. She’ll make it up to Anna. Anna says, when? and Curtis says, as soon as the antibiotics start working. Jordan thanks her for coming, and Anna tells her not to go rogue again. Curtis sighs, and Jordan asks, what is it? He says they need to talk. He understands why she kept her situation from Anna, but why keep it from him?

Anna sees Finn at the reception area, and asks how Jordan is doing. She says, good. Jordan has put things in perspective for her. Finn asks, how so? and she says she can’t keep dwelling on the past. She needs to focus on the life she has now.

Maxie and Lulu meet to get manicures. Maxie says she’s been going crazy without Lulu. Lulu says she hasn’t been gone that long, and Maxie says it was for her. She would never take off for Paris. Lulu says it’s different for Maxie. She and Peter are just getting started. Maxie says, about that…

Michael tells Kristina that he brought someone for her to talk to. Kristina remembers Willow, and asks why she’s there. Michael starts to say, she knows something… but Willow says she can speak for herself. That’s why she’s there. She says Shiloh preaches honesty above all else, but she’s there to tell Kristina the truth about Shiloh and what he does to young women like them. She was member for over five years. Kristina asks if she quit, and Willow says she escaped, just barely. She hopes Kristina can too – before it’s too late.

Willow says it’s still painful to talk about her time with DOD. She wants to help Kristina make an informed choice about her future. Neil thinks that’s an excellent idea, provided Kristina is willing to listen. Kristina says she’s heard more than her share of anti DOD propaganda. Michael asks if she trusts him. She says she does, and he asks her to believe that Willow doesn’t have an agenda. She wants to tell Kristina what happened, and let her make up her own mind. That’s all. Can she do that? Kristina says, why not?

Laura ask how Robert has been. He says he’s still above ground, and she ask how Holly is. He says they’re not together at the moment, and Laura says she’s sorry. Robert says he’s sorry it didn’t work out between her and Doc, but he doesn’t blame her for calling it quits. Laura says, it’s a complicated situation. Robert says she seems to have moved on to a new suiter. He caught the end of her conversation, saying she can’t wait to see someone again. She laughs and says, it was just Lulu. He says he’s going to be in Port Charles for a while, and asks, how about going to the Nurses’ Ball together?

Lucy asks if Scotty knows about whatever’s going on between Doc and Ava. He says, not a clue, and she says she’ll get him one. He tells her, hold on, but she’s already on her way. Doc asks if Ava feels the eyes on them, and Ava says, any attention is good if it gets Ryan out of hiding. He sees Lucy approach, and says, maybe not all. Lucy says, funny running into them there, and Ava says, hilarious. Lucy asks if they came in together or ran into each other in the elevator. Ava says they arranged to meet there; like Lucy and Scotty. Lucy says she and Scotty are working on the Nurses’ Ball. They were just discussing Ava’s amazing performance last year, and here she is. Lucy has tickets available, and Ava says she’ll take care of that later. She says, it’s funny though, how close Lucy and Scotty have become. Scotty joins them, and says, like liver and onions. Lucy tells him to speak for himself, and Ava says you can’t manufacture that chemistry. Maybe Lucy and Scotty should go the Nurses’ Ball together. She and Doc are.

Neil suggests Willow start at the beginning. How did she get involved with DOD? Willow says, her mother was always a seeker, looking for something spiritual, some cause or movement to answer her questions and give her a purpose. They spent Willow’s childhood moving from place to place. Her mother tried it all. Before Willow turned eighteen, she met Shiloh, and their lies were never the same.

Anna tells Finn that she has all the proof she needs that Robin is her daughter. She wants to focus on their future now. Finn flashes back to his proposal to the skeleton, and says he couldn’t agree more.

Jordan tells Curtis that she didn’t know she was sick before he left, but he says she knew more than she was letting on. She says she didn’t want to worry him, but he says she’s his wife. If he can’t worry about her, who can? She has to let him in, no matter how bad the situation gets. Finn walks in, and says he has the lab test results. Curtis takes Jordan’s hand, and she says, let’s hear it.

Laura says, go to the Nurses’ Ball with Robert? He asks if it’s really so crazy, and she says she’s just surprised, since she’s never seen him there. He says he’s usually not in Port Charles. She’s incredibly flattered, and he says, she’s not ready move on, is she? She says, something like that, and he tells her, the offer stays open. A lot can happen in week or three.

Ava tells Lucy that when Doc asked, she couldn’t resist. Lucy says, how wonderful. She hadn’t realized they’d grown so close. Ava says Doc has been a great source of comfort, and Doc says it was only natural. They understand each other’s feelings; what they’re going through. Survivor trauma from Ryan Chamberlain. Ava asks for two tickets, and hopes she gets a great table. Lucy says she will, and since Ava will be performing again, she’s thinking Ava should have Doc come up on stage with her. Ava thinks that’s a great idea, and asks Doc if he’d be interested in that. He says, anything for her, and Scotty says, Ava? A word? Ava says she needs a refill anyway, and tells Doc, try not to miss her.

Scotty orders two dirty rotten martinis. Ava asks what he wants to talk about. He says first they’ll enjoy their martinis, then she’s going to tell him what she’s up to with Doc.

Willow tells Kristina that she and her mother lived in Berk Lake, where Shiloh had his epiphany, then came up with the philosophy for DOD. Neil asks how her mother heard about DOD, and Willow says she heard rumors about it. Some of her friends left to see what was happening, and she wanted to see for herself. They attended a seminar, and Shiloh saw potential in her mother. She had outreach experience, and knows how to network. It wasn’t long before her mother was Shiloh’s right hand, spreading his teachings in Berk Lake. She seemed to have finally found a home. They took pride in the outreach and service. They felt alive, being out there, volunteering, trying to make a difference. Her mother was one of the first to join the Trust. After about a year. Shiloh wanted her.

Lulu asks Maxie, what happened last night? Maxie says she and Peter rescheduled, like they’ve been doing for weeks now. Fate is playing tricks. The closer they get, she feels like Peter is pulling away. On second thought, she thinks maybe they shouldn’t date in general.

Anna sees Peter, and asks how his date went. He says it hasn’t gone at all. They’ve been stalling, making creative excuses as to the reason why – at least he has. Anna wonders why. They established they like each other. He says he’s never invested significantly in a relationship emotionally. He’s never been part of a couple. The closer they get, the more he fears hurting her. Anna asks why he thinks that, and he says because of who he is. Who he always will be. Faison’s son.

Finn says the antibiotics were unsuccessful. Jordan says they knew it was a possibility. Finn says her remaining kidney is failing, and she needs a transplant as soon as possible. She’s at the top of the donor list now, so it’s a waiting game.

Willow says Shiloh told her that she was being considered for the Trust, honoring her for all her hard work, commitment, and the progress she’d made. It sounded like the next step. It’s Shiloh’s M.O. He gets you at your most vulnerable, when you’re figuring out who you are, and what you want to grasp. The choices you’re living with have consequences, and Shiloh takes away the burden of choice, and makes you his puppet. You’re sure he’s giving you the answer. Her mother said it was an honor to join the Trust, and that’s how it seemed. A chance to part of Shiloh’s inner circle. Shiloh had such a hold on her, she didn’t bat an eye when he asked for her Pledge. Neil ask what kind of pledge? Willow says, a secret; something personal, and so shameful he could hold it over your head if you try to leave. He tells you it’s a symbol, so the group can trust you as you trust them. So she made recording of her Pledge, and Shiloh wrote it up. She signed it, then it was time for initiation. Kristina asks, what happened? and Willow says, he put his mark on her. She shows Kristina the tattoo. Michael looks pissed, and Alexis turns away. I don’t know what Kristina is thinking, hopefully, she is thinking.

Peter tells Anna that his father raised him to be cruel and calculating. To use people and discard them. Deny his feelings unless they served him. His father led by example, and he’s hard wired. He has his father’s DNA. Anna says he has hers too. She asks if he thinks she’d be pushing the relationship if she thought he’d hurt Maxie? Peter says she doesn’t know what he’s capable of. She says, everyone is capable of cruelty. That’s just human. He doesn’t want Maxie to see that side of him. Anna says he’s not giving Maxie enough credit. She’s a strong young woman who knows what she wants. She might run, but he should see what’s really inside that makes her want to stay.

Lucy says Doc is lucky he has both hands, or she’d have mistaken him for Ryan. He hopes more than a hand distinguishes them. She says she saw Ava around him after the memorial; now they’re going to the Nurses’ Ball? It’s like announcing to the entire world that they’re involved.

Ava asks if Scotty remembers the conversation they had a few days ago. He says when she summoned him, and wanted to use him as bait, posing as her boyfriend? She says, yes, and he says she had that cockamamie plan to lure Ryan out by making him jealous? She says she was traumatized. She had waking nightmares of Ryan choking her, but with Doc’s help, she’s accepted he’s dead. Scotty says, so she’s gone from vengeance to acceptance? She hates that he died before she got closure, or he could face justice for what he did to her daughter, but all the hate in the world can’t change it. Doc helped her to see that not every story gets a proper ending. He says Doc is responsible for letting his demented brother get loose. Now she’s cozying up to him? He wants to relieve his guilt, but she can’t do it for him. She asks if they’re done. He says they are, and she leaves.

Ava sees Lucy made herself comfortable. Lucy wouldn’t go that far. Ava thanks her for keeping Doc company. Doc’s phone dings, and he needs to cut this short. He asks if Ava wants to meet for dinner, and she says, of course (🍷). He says he’ll see her then, and leaves. Ava tells Lucy that she’d say it’s nice see her, but… Lucy tells Ava, sit down. She wants some questions answered.

Finn tells Jordan it’s not as simple as a blood type match. She has specific genetic markers. Curtis says there are options like a private donor. Finn says, it’s possible, but they tested a lot of people. He’s optimistic there’s a match. She’s at the top of list, and if he gets something promising, he’ll call. When he leaves, Jordan says she could use a distraction. Does he have news on tracking down a supposedly dead serial killer. He says that’s a cheerful new topic, and Laura comes in. Jordan says she was just asking about the trip to Canada. Curtis might have found a lead on Ryan.

Scotty goes to the table, and asks, what’s going on? and gets between Lucy and Ava. Ava says Lucy is lucky she believes in the cause. There’s a big fat check that can easily be canceled.

Curtis says the woman gave the thief a list of meds used to treat a severed hand. Jordan asks if there was a description, but Curtis says, not in detail. He tells them about the car with the bumper sticker that said, North Madison High School, Class of ’94. He found a MyFace page for the class. Working on her laptop, Jordan says, there are 240 graduates. Curtis says it was definitely a white woman, and Laura says they can remove any women of color. Curtis says two students have passed away, but he still can’t knock on 113 doors without the police getting involved. Laura says they can search the marital status; she’s probably living by herself. Curtis says that brings the number down to twenty-three. Laura says it’s a manageable amount.

Alexis says, Shiloh branded her as part of the ceremony? Kristina says, it’s just a tattoo. A lot of people get them as a testament to their faith. Willow says, if it was just a tattoo, that would be one thing. She can live with Shiloh’s physical scars; sometimes, she forgets it’s there, but it’s the emotional toll that hurt so much. Kristina asks what she means, and Willow says, Shiloh’s not there when you’re being tattooed. That part is for the other Trust members. At the time, it was just her mom and two other women. They gave her something to drink to relax her. She thinks they drugged her; she felt floaty, and out of it. Then they tattooed her, and welcomed her into the sisterhood. They left, and Shiloh came in and had sex with her. She cries, and says she doesn’t know if it counts as rape didn’t try stop him but even though it was supposed to be an honor, she knew it was wrong. It was disgusting to her, and still is. Kristina is so lucky she has family who came to rescue her before Shiloh used her for sex.

Kristina says, Shiloh wouldn’t do that, but Willow says, yes, he would. He did her, and other Trust members, including her mom. He didn’t force her, but she was drugged. Kristina says, Shiloh is a good man. Willow says she’s sorry. She knows how hard it is to this, but Kristina deserves to know the truth. Neil thanks her for sharing her story, and I’m a little surprised it was so short. I didn’t expect her to say anything about the baby, but she might have mentioned that she changed her name and he’s still following her. Alexis and Sonny appreciate it and are grateful. Neil give Willow his card in case she wants to talk. Michael asks if Willow is ready to go. Willow tells Kristina, take care; she’s going to get through this. Michael hugs Kristina, and goes. Alexis hugs Kristina, and Sonny says, son of a bitch.

Maxie tells Lulu that she and Peter are just delaying the inevitable. Lulu says to trust her, but Maxie says it’s not easy putting herself out there after Nathan died. What if Peter never lets her in? She says he’s texting her right now. He wants to meet at the MetroCourt, but it’s a bad time. She’s getting her nails done.

Anna tells Robert about her conversation with Peter. She thinks it’s nice that she and Robert are parting on good terms, and he asks, who says they’re parting? He’s going to stick around. He doesn’t like unfinished business any more than she does. He says she talk until she’s blue in the face, but he knows she’s not going to rest until she finds out what Alex and Cabot did to her.

Jordan has the feeling there’s something there. Curtis doesn’t want to leave her, but she says Finn said she was stable. He says, what if her kidney deteriorates, and she says, it’s the perfect window of opportunity. He says, for what? To chase a dead end? She says all she’s got is a hunch, but she’s asking him to do this for her. He guesses he’s heading out in the morning. She says he’s the best, and he says she’s just saying that because she got her way. She says she’s saying it because it’s truth. They kiss.

Laura sees Curtis at the elevator, and asks when he’s leaving for Canada. He says, first thing in the morning. She says she’s going with him.

Sonny says they’re done here. Alexis asks if they can calmly and rationally agree not to take the law into their own hands. Neil says they need to both take a breath. No matter how upsetting, this is intended to help Kristina evaluate. She’s at a DOD crossroads in the treatment. How she wants to proceed is up to her.

Jordan looks up the city in Canada. Doc comes to her room, and says Finn texted him to meet there. Finn joins them, and says he talked to the lab. Doc is not only a match for her blood type, but for her genetic markers. He can be her kidney donor.

Lucy tells Scotty they need to change their tactic. Stop reacting and trying to make things happen. They need to do what they do best. Scotty says, no, no, and Lucy says, yes, yes. They have to keep Doc and Ava apart for their own good.

Curtis asks if Laura is sure she’s aware of the danger that could be waiting. Ryan could be behind one of twenty-three doors. She says it’s not her first rodeo. She has a score settle. He says, her, and a lot of others. She says, perfect. They agree. She’ll see him tomorrow morning when they leave for Canada, partner. He says, bright and early, partner.

Anna tells Robert that Alex will never tell her. Robert says he has a good idea, and thinks she does too. In fact he’s surprised she hasn’t brought it up. Has she accepted the possibility that she might never know if Peter is Alex’s son and not hers?

Maxie tells Peter that Lulu insisted she meet him. He says he owes her one, and she says, it’s about damn time. He asks if she’s ready, and holds his hand out. She says, so ready.

Outside Kelly’s, Willow tells Michael that she’s not ready to go home. Michael says it’s the least he can do. She did so much for Kristina. Willow hopes so. He says she was so strong. He knows it wasn’t easy to relive again. She says, it wasn’t, but Kristina needed to hear it.

Neil tells Kristina what happens next is up to her. She has the information she needs to make an informed decision about her future with DOD. He opens the door, and she asks what he’s doing. He says, the door is open for her to go back – to Shiloh or her family.

Tomorrow, Willow asks if Nina is accusing her of hitting on Michael, Peter brings Maxie somewhere on a plane, Sam gives Shiloh her Pledge, and Chase finds Kristina.

Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part One

Giggy! Before we start, Lisa asks if Giggy has any issues he wants to bring up. Scheana tells Lala, chill is boring. Brittany is in a good mood, but from the look of the previews, that will be over with soon. Scheana says, let’s do this. They wait on Tom’s hair, and I’m certain James will eclipse Jax for worst human being on earth.

Andy tells us it’s the eve of the opening of the Vanderpump Cocktail Garden in Vegas. He asks if Tom feels like a man, and Tom says he always has. Andy asks if Ariana has been riding sidecar, and she says once you realize you’re not dying, it’s okay. That’s how I felt the first time I rode in a pedicab. Brittany says they have three months to go until the wedding, and Andy informs us that Lala and Rand are engage. Lala shows off her ring, which is round, sparkly, and gorgeous. He asks if they’ve set a date, and Lala says Ran wants it tomorrow, but she’s happy being a fiancé. They’re shooting for 2020. Andy asks if Katie is ready, and she says ready as she can be. Schwartz says he’s coming in fresh, but later there will be half-shots. Andy asks if Stassi’s extra chair will be for Beau or the dark passenger. She says it’s been six months since anyone has seen the dark passenger. Andy asks if Kristen is single, and she says she is. Everyone seems surprised, since no one knew.

Andy wonders why Jax bought James underwear, and Jax says he thought it would be a nice gesture. We see a clip of James posing in said underwear in front of a mirror. Andy says last season, James was closer with Jax and the group, but that ended with his rap about Jax and Faith, Andy asks if he thought it would have such huge consequences. James says he wasn’t thinking much at the time, but it was definitely wrong. Frankly, I don’t think James doesn’t think much, period. Brittany says they were there supporting him, and it was embarrassing. Lisa asks if it was preplanned, but James says, it was freestyle. He was upset about what he’d done, but doesn’t want to say anymore, because Kristen is making faces. Stassi says he’s only sorry because he got excluded. Kristen claims he said he wanted to embarrass them. We find out he’s still friends with Tom, Ariana, and Scheana, and he’s always gotten along with Schwartz. Jax asks how many mistakes is James going to make. James thinks Jax is a fine one to talk, but Jax says he’s trying to be a better person. Lisa says Jax is older; what was he doing at James’s age? Andy asks what he was doing four years ago? and we see clips of Jax being an a-hole, my favorite being him telling Tom that he’s the number one guy in the group. Tom says Jax was never excluded. Jax says he’s known them for twenty years, and Kristen says James has never been a part of their friend group. James says she’s the one who put him in it. I hate to say it, but he has a point there. He asks, what about Lala? Stassi says, Lala has made an effort; James hasn’t. Lala says James ruined their friendship. She stepped back and made a stand that he couldn’t attack Rand. She asks James to look at her, since he has difficulty looking people straight in the eye when he knows they’re right. I’m saying that last part, not Lala. She says it was one of the funnest [sic] friendships she’s ever had. She adored their friendship, but watched him burn every bridge. James says she’s the last bridge. Lala says he doesn’t care, and he admits he doesn’t. Lisa asks if he regrets losing a good friend, but he says no. Lala says it was hurtful. She put her heart and soul into the friendship. James says she gave him fake bullsh*t the last time they talked. We flash back to her telling him to come to her if he’s spiraling, and him telling her that he’ll talk to a therapist. He says it was a pity meeting, and if that was a true handout, consider it rejected. He doesn’t need her friendship. Kristen tells him not to talk to Lala like that, and he tells her, stop talking. Because we’re five. Lisa asks why he’s so angry.

Andy points out that last season, Scheana was Rob obsessed. This season, she was hanging out with her best friend, Adam. Then she was getting Bachelorette sloppy seconds, referring to her dating Robby Hayes. Stassi says they told her that he was a douche, and wonders what is it that Scheana’s friends see something different than she does. Scheana says she was just having gun, and hanging out. With the next relationship she has, hopefully, it will be her forever, but she doesn’t feel that she’s in that place. She’s just enjoying being single. Lisa feels like Scheana wanted a relationship with Adam. Even though she was trying to pretend she was coping with it and being casual, Lisa thought, inside, Scheana’s heart was breaking. She wanted something more. Andy asks what their status is, and Scheana says she and Adam aren’t dating, but… and Stassi says, they’re in the exact same spot. Moving on to Jax.

Andy says, Jax and Brittany dated for nine months, broke up, and then he popped the question. We flash back to Jax’s proposal. Brittany says the clam place was where they had their first date. Andy asks Stassi how hard it was to keep the secret. Stassi says she’s terrible at keeping secrets. Everything was wet, and not in a good way. Andy asks if Jax and Brittany are getting a prenup, but Jax says, no. Brittany is going to be with him forever. Brittany says he’s her baby. Well, I’d say he’s a baby. Lisa says she and Ken didn’t have one, but they probably hadn’t been invented yet. Lala says she and Rand are getting one. He’s worked a long time, and no matter what happens, she wants him to know she’s not coming for him. Andy asks how Rand proposed, and she says they had dinner on the beach. There was a screen that showed a montage of their life, including her dad, and Rand got down on one knee, and asked her to be his wife. He said she had thirty seconds to answer, and she said yes. Then fireworks went off, like something out of a movie. We see photos of Lala and Rand watching the fireworks. Andy says Rand has been on Flipping Out and Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but he’s not on Vanderpump Rules. Lala says she doesn’t want him on it; it’s real and nitty gritty. Andy says everyone else is putting their relationships out there, and asks if it’s fair to the others. Lala thinks she shows quite a bit. Tom says there’s a part of her life that she keeps locked away. Scheana says everyone else gives 100%. She’s an amazing addition to the case, but it’s not fair. Lala says if they had something huge they wanted to protect, they wouldn’t want it on the show. Stassi thinks that’s rude. Her boyfriend is just as important. Lala says a lot of men don’t want to be on the show, and Stassi says she’s been there. Lala says she still contributes other things, but Lisa says it’s the most important thing in her life. Doesn’t Rand interact with the group? They all say that Rand hangs out with them, except for James. Lisa says they should show it. Ariana says it’s scary for everyone. Lala says Scheana has brought on sketchy dudes who just want camera time. Scheana says they knew her job was dependent on showing everything, but Rob (Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob) didn’t want to be on the show. Lala says Rob had a dinner party on the show. We flash back to that, and Scheana claims she forced him. Lala says she can’t do that.

Andy wants to talk about building TomTom. He asks what Lisa expected the Toms roles to be at the bar, and she says originally, she wanted them to get creative with the cocktails, but it came to be more than that. Andy asks if they felt Lisa wanted them to be there, and Tom says, no. Schwartz says they wanted to be there as much as possible. Lisa says at the end, they were needed, but there was a lot of work to get done, and they were behind schedule. Andy says it seemed like Pandora was in charge of cocktails, then Sly came in. He asks if the Toms felt neutered. Tom says they didn’t just work on the cocktails a few times; they spent months on them. Ariana says their dining room was a lab. Schwartz says some of them aren’t true to the recipe, but it’s not an ego thing. Tom says they spent eight months, and Sly was there for two days. No matter how good you are, it can’t match. Ariana says it hurt her because it hurt Tom. Lisa says she doesn’t remember any negativity about it. Ariana thought they were doing things she’d love, and Lisa says she did. Ariana asks where the frozen shot machine is. Lisa says they asked for it when the bar was being planned out, but they didn’t have it. Tom says he was there for three months, and Lisa says he should have been there when they were planning it out. Andy asks if Lisa gives them enough respect. Ariana thinks she does more off-camera. On camera, it’s like a schtick. Lisa says she plays with them, but they give her a lot to play with. Ariana thinks Lisa makes them look foolish, and Lisa says she wishes her name was on the restaurant. Tom says no matter what he does, he always gives 110%. No matter who’s getting the cocktail, they’re all made the same. Lisa says she had hundreds of people working for her, but she wanted them for their joie de vivre and relationship, not they’re business acumen. They don’t make themselves look sensible a lot of the time. Jax is curious to know if they’re getting paid. Schwartz says there’s been no compensation yet, and Andy says, as someone who’s been involved in the business, he knows it takes a while. Lisa says she’s gotten nothing yet either, but they spent $2.5 million. Her expertise is also valued. Andy asks Tom what he feels about the partnership, and he says he loves Ken and Lisa. He likes the situation, but feels his questions don’t get answered. Lisa suggests they sit down at the end of the year, and split the difference. (That would be 10/90.) She says she embraced them, and when she asked them to be partners, she put their names up there. It was supposed to be a positive experience. Tom says, it is, but if he has questions or concerns, he gets a negative reaction. Lisa asks if he wants her to give them their money back and they can keep the partnership. Tom says, it’s not about that, and Schwartz says they’ve had issues, but this is the dream. Andy asks why Schwartz didn’t check to make sure there was money in the account, and Schwartz says it was a clerical error. We flash back to his James Bond moment. Lisa says that’s why she loves them being involved.

Andy welcomes one of the few people in the group who didn’t want to strangle James. Raquel comes in wearing a dress that has gigantic ruffles on the sleeves, making her look like Icarus, and even though it’s above the knee, the sash goes all the way to the floor. Stupidest. Dress. Ever. If it belongs anywhere on Bravo, it’s possibly an Atlanta Housewives reunion. She tells Andy that she pulled out the ruffles for him. He says he heard she had an exciting job interview, and she says she may or may not be working at SUR. Lisa has to decide, and Lisa says she’ll be working there. Andy says the drama with James started on Gay Pride, and asks why Kristen decided to take James down for good. Raquel asks why she isn’t over it, and Kristen says because he’s not changing. Andy asks how well James knows Hope, and James says he was friends with Hope and Logan a long time, but that time is over. We flash back to James’s flirtation with Logan. Andy says, Hope looked Raquel in the eye – James tries to interrupt, but Andy won’t have it – and gave specific details about sleeping with James. Raquel says Hope was never at the house they live in now. Andy wonders what would be in it for Hope to put herself out there, and James snarks that she’s a Hollywood star. Kristen says it’s the same thing Raquel gets from dating James. Raquel understands how the might feel she wants the limelight, since she was a beauty queen. She starts talking about being in pageants because of her anxiety, but gets interrupted, and everyone talks at once like I hate. Raquel can see why they’d think she wants to be on the show. Ariana tells Jax, shut up. She wants to hear what Raquel is saying. Brittany tells her to tell James to shut up. Tom says Raquel is trying to tell a story. Brittany says he’s supposed to be their best friend, and it’s getting effed up. Raquel says she’s not going to define her relationship, and says it’s situations like this, where she’s more vulnerable that help her be a better person. Andy asks what would make her believe Lala. She says Lala wasn’t there, and Lala says he was messing around right in front of her in Canada, and that was while he was dating Raquel. Stassi can’t imagine being in a relationship where so many women come forward and said it to her face, and without looking into it, she believes her boyfriend. James says they just want to take him down. Stassi says some of her friends do. Ariana says when James and Raquel moved in together, they considered it a fresh start; a new beginning. Raquel wasn’t living in LA before that. If it didn’t happen after they moved in together, it’s a moot point and doesn’t count. Andy asks if Raquel believes he was faithful before she moved in? She admits she doesn’t think he was completely faithful (whatever that means – is it like a little bit pregnant?) before she moved in. Andy says it’s kind of like Brittany and Jax. Brittany says if Raquel wants to forget about it, it’s on her. Schwartz says, they’re different people. Andy says Tom is always defending James. Does he find all of James’s behavior acceptable? Tom says, hell no. Katie says he excuses as much as he can, and James deserves more than being fired from SUR.

Andy mentions that Raquel is the only one with a college degree, yet her intelligence keeps coming into question, and it’s a trigger. Raquel says she’s getting her masters in helping special needs kids. Andy asks if Stassi thinks Raquel is smart. Stassi says she doesn’t know Raquel. Raquel says she’d love to know Stassi, and wishes com to the puppy party. I find Raquel sad, because she always sounds so desperate. You’d think, even if she’s not smart to leave James – and that’s a different smart than book-learning smart – she’d try to find some other friends. Andy says James was angry when Raquel wanted to go to Girls’ Night. James says he got over it, and she went. Raquel says she didn’t go because he didn’t want her to. It would be sweet if she got up and left, never looking back, right now. But that doesn’t happen. Andy says Lala professes to be a feminist, but isn’t supportive of Raquel. Lala says just because Raquel has a vagina, doesn’t mean she’s going to be supportive. I hear that. She says Raquel’s boyfriend has attacked every part of her life. When they were at dinner in Vegas, he called her the c-word at the table in front of everyone, including her dad, who left. She’s not supporting someone who’s involved with him, and when she needed female support, failed to step up. Raquel says she’s sorry she didn’t step up, but the way Lala has treated her is unacceptable. She can’t wrap her brain around Lala’s behavior. Lala says she can’t wrap her brain around Raquel’s behavior.

Stassi thinks it’s hard to connect to Raquel, because she’s okay with what James does, and how he treats them. Raquel asks if it would make them happy if she publicly embarrassed James. That’s a hard yes from everyone. Lisa thinks it would make them very happy; Andy says Lala apologized at the roller party, but Raquel doesn’t know if Lala is capable of giving a sincere apology. Lala says it’s hard to care about what she’s saying when she doesn’t care about the person. Raquel tells her to learn basic manners. Let people finish what they’re saying. Jax says she should talk to the guy next to her about manners. James says Jax goes to the bathroom with the door open. I’m not kidding. This is his reply. Raquel says she’s trying to have a conversation with Lala. Andy says Raquel talked to Lala’s friend Alexis, saying Lala was dad blaming. Raquel says Lala was avoiding a conversation she didn’t want to have by bringing up her loss. It’s her way of controlling the situation; it gave her an excuse. Lala says, so now her dad is an excuse? She says when Raquel loses a parent – which they all will – she prays whoever she’s around, tiptoes around her, lets her scream, and never cheapens the death, saying it was an excuse, like Raquel just did. Raquel says Lala isn’t taking responsibilities for her actions. Lala was telling all of them that she knew she wasn’t in her right mind, except the one person she was actually affecting. Lisa says, it’s no reason to lash out. Lala says Raquel spoke about her dad. Tom says she didn’t, but Lala says Raquel said it in an interview. Enough is enough. Move on. Tom says he gets what she’s going through, but she says he doesn’t. He hasn’t been through sh*t. He says something about his dad being in a coma for three days, and not sleeping for three days, but I’m confused as to whether this led to his dad dying or if he recovered, which would make a huge difference. He says he didn’t react like that, and Lala says, good for him. He says he didn’t yell at people he doesn’t like, and Jax says, if that’s what you have to do. Lisa doesn’t think it’s an excuse to lash out. Andy asks Raquel how the relationship is today, and Raquel says they’re happy. Lisa asks if James is supportive, and if she holds him accountable, or does she just acknowledge what he does. Raquel thinks she’s putting James on a better path. She approaches him a different way. Instead of acting like he’s a bad kid, she hears him out. She wants to understand why he does what he does. Jax says her work in child therapy should help. It’s time for her to go, and when she gets up, I cringe at the dress again. Maybe she wanted to look like an angel? Whatever it was, it didn’t work.

It’s been a year since Lisa’s brother passed away, and Andy asks how she’s coping. She started the season right after it happened. Lisa needs a tissue, and Andy says, it’s still raw, like the dolt he is. She says she held it together while they were filming. She didn’t want to bring everyone down, so she struggled through. She thought the best way to get through her grief would be help from a grief counselor. She was also on anti-depressants when two Tylenol are a lot for her. She’s British, and always kept a stiff upper lip, but she guesses she has feelings too. She didn’t do too well this year. Scheana says they all support her. She doesn’t have to stay strong, but Lisa says she does. She needs a moment, and walks offstage.

Andy says Lala suffered emotional upheaval. Lala says her father had a stroke while he was driving, and the car caught fire. When he got home, he was lethargic, and was supposed to see a cardiologist on Monday, but never woke up on Saturday. Andy says last year, at the reunion, Jax had just lost his father. Jax says it hasn’t been any easier. It destroyed his family. He has no relationship with his mom. She’d taken his father’s cell phone, and when he called, said his father was taking a nap. Next thing he knew, his father was in the ICU. The issue is her not telling him anything, and he has no idea if those were his dad’s wishes. His sister isn’t speaking to their mother either. She’s in the same boat.

Lala brings up a Tweet that James sent out, saying she and Jax need to make peace with the fact their daddies are dead and move on. Jax asks why he felt the need to say it. James says Jax made a fake Twitter account in Raquel’s name, and said James had been sleeping with men. Ariana says Jax’s phone number was connected with the account. Jax says, so James wants to talk about his dad? and gets up. James gets up, and Andy gets between them. Jax sits down. Jax says James’s girlfriend is useless, and James says, look at his. She looks like a disco ball; I guess referring to all the sequins Brittany is wearing. Brittany thinks she looks good. I second that. James tells them to go back to Kentucky and make babies. Jax belongs in Kentucky with the hillbillies. Brittany asks if he’s saying her family are hillbillies, and he makes fun of her accent. Because we’re four. Ariana says this has nothing to do with Brittany. (And it’s not about the pasta either.) James calls Jax old man, like he’s done a million times. Jax is like, that’s all you’ve got? and points out that James is also calling Andy old. James says he’ll call anybody anything he wants to, but you can tell this caught him off guard. Tom says every time James says something, they jump on him. Kristen asks why he keeps defending James. James says Jax is obsessed with him, and calls Brittany a dumb bitch. Jax says he could have a field day with James’s mom. James says he bets Jax could, and I’m guessing he didn’t realize he just insulted his own mom. Jax says James is so unwanted, it’s ridiculous. Brittany says he’s a horrible person, and James says he doesn’t give a flying about her. He calls her a bitch again. She says, there it is; the real James. Tom says they were talking sh*t about James’s girlfriend. Brittany says James was talking about her family, and Tom is supposed to be their best friend. Andy keeps trying to interrupt, but everyone ignores him. He finally tells them, STFU, and Lisa says, yay.

Next time – Part Two – Kristen asks why Tom doesn’t hold James accountable, Lisa says everyone has hooked up with a girl except her, Lala and Ariana’s hook up is discussed, Billie joins the group, and Andy gets his own helmet.

🏃 This Couldn’t Wait…

There is justice in the world. Max Gail for the win.

🍸 Just For Fun…

And to round out the post nicely.


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