What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Josslyn tells Jax that she’s sorry, and he asks, why? She says he drove to school to watch her practice, and she barely made it through the stretches. He says it wasn’t far to go, and she’s having emotional trauma. If she’d been hit by a car, she wouldn’t be expected at practice. She says she hates quitting. He tells her not to think of it like that, and give herself credit for getting dressed and showing up. She says she doesn’t know how to do any of it.
Sonny says Josslyn is home early, and Carly says, it was too much too soon. Sonny thinks it’s good for her to get out. She has to find a way to figure it out, and it’s better than being curled in a ball in the dark. Carly says, it’s going to happen, and he says, when it does, they’ll be there.
Alexis goes to Charlie’s, and thanks Julian for rehiring Kristina. He says Kristina is the best thing to happen in the last couple days, and Alexis says, it’s so sad about Oscar. Julian says he admired Oscar. In the short time he was alive, he really lived. Not many people can truly say that.
Cameron picks up garbage in the park. Franco says he’s off the clock, and doesn’t get extra credit for overtime. He asks if Cameron wants to get something at Kelly’s. He knows Cameron wants him to stop doing this bonding garbage. He knows Cameron can’t stand him, and thinks he’s only doing this to impress Cameron’s mother and brothers. He gets how Cameron feels about him, but he doesn’t agree or understand. The more he knows Cameron, the more he admires him. He’s going to keep at it, until one day they can do better than tolerate each other. He’s not just doing this for Cameron’s mom – who he loves completely – but he’s doing it for himself. One day, Cameron will respect him. He knows he hasn’t gotten there yet, but he will.
Drew, Ned, Olivia and Monica watch Leo and Danny play in the yard. Monica says she loves watching them. It makes it easier to bear. Kim arrives with an urn. She says, it’s strange. She’s been preparing for this day for a while. It’s here now. Oscar is gone, and she’s not sure what to do. Ned says her son was way ahead of her on that one. Oscar had a plan.
Josslyn asks Jax, what if it never gets better, and she feels like this forever? It’s like she’s drowning and can’t break through the water. He says, it will get better. He’s been there, and so has she. Does she remember how she felt when Morgan died? She couldn’t go on, but she did anyway, even though it was hard every day. He promises that time heals everything. Her phone dings, and she says, omg, Oscar.
Carly tells Sonny, the memorial service is today; no black. Josslyn comes in, and asks if Carly got the text, and she says she just did. It’s the last thing Josslyn feels like doing. She’s not ready. She asks if she has to go, and Carly says, no, but thinks she’ll deeply regret it if she doesn’t. Sonny says they’re going to be there, and Jax says they’ll do it together. Josslyn goes upstairs to change, and Carly sighs.
At the hospital, Terry asks if Elizabeth got the text about a celebration for Oscar. Elizabeth says he did. Terry says, he was such a wonderful kid, and they hug. Terry tells Elizabeth that she’ll see her at five.
Trina finds Cameron, and asks if he got the text. He doesn’t think he wants to go, but she says Josslyn needs them. Oscar is counting on them, and as friends they have to step up. Cameron asks if she wants to go together. She tells him to go change. He smells like literal garbage.
Ned says Oscar was adamant about not wanting a funeral. He didn’t want sadness surrounding the day. He wanted them to come together, not to mourn, but raise a glass to his life. Olivia tells them Oscar said they could say nice things about him, but only if they want to. Ned says, the point is for them to help each other, lean on each other, and in remember him, perhaps bring a smile to their faces. Drew says, if that’s what Oscar wanted, then that’s exactly what he’s going to get.
On the Quartermaine patio, Ned puts up a collage of Oscar’s pictures, and Olivia sets the tables. Michael and Sam arrive first. Sam tells Michael that she got the memo; no black. Olivia tells them to just hang out, and he’ll explain when everyone gets there. Jason joins them, and asks how Sam is holding up. She says, fine. Michael says he knew they were planning something, but kept the details quiet. Josslyn and Jax come in, and Josslyn hugs Michael. She says she’s supposed to be fine, but doesn’t know how to deal. What if start she starts crying, and can’t stop? Jax says, If it happens, it happens; it’s okay. Alexis sees Jax, and says, circumstances notwithstanding, it’s great to see him. He has a wonderful daughter; strong and supportive. Death isn’t easy for anyone, especially the young. She wishes he’d had a chance to know Oscar, but he feels like he did. He’s glad Oscar and Josslyn had each other, even if they’re time was cut short. Jason asks Carly how Josslyn is. Carly says she knows Josslyn will be okay eventually, but until she gets there… Jason says, until she gets there, she has them. Sam hugs Jax, and tells him that he should be proud of his daughter. She’s special. He says she’s been making him proud since birth, but this is a whole new level. Cameron and Trina walk in, and Josslyn says they made it. Cameron asks if she thought they wouldn’t, and Josslyn says she almost didn’t. Trina asks how she’s doing, and Josslyn says, terrible. Trina says, awful, and Cameron says, the worst. Trina says at least they’re all on the same page. Cameron says he was thinking about the trip to Niagara Falls before Oscar got sick. They laugh about Cameron’s driving. Trina reminds him of the old lady who said, move out of the way, grandpa. He’s glad they find it funny. Oscar had his back. He says, sorry, and Josslyn says, don’t be. Trina says they have hers. Cameron goes to see his mom, and Trina says Oscar wanted her to tell Josslyn something. She should still hike up the mountain, whether she wants to or not. To the top; no turning back. Trina says, he wanted her to get her hike on. He loved her, and she was the best thing that ever happened to him. They hug.
Monica is glad Jason is there, and he says, Oscar was family. She says, a family that’s getting smaller by the minute. Jason says he’s still there, and he’s not going anywhere. Drew approaches and says, neither is he. He has an envelope for Jason, and says Oscar wanted him to open it with Monica there. Jason reads Oscar’s first letter. Oscar knows he doesn’t spend a lot of time there, but he’s come to think of the Quartermaine house as home. There’s only one thing missing; a treehouse for the kids. Jason says he had the plans drawn up, but there’s one catch. Oscar wants Jason and his dad to build it together. When they’re done, and the kids are climbing on it, know he’ll be there too. Jason asks if Drew is in. He’s in.
Ned thanks everyone for coming to Oscar’s celebration. And it is Oscar’s celebration. He was very clear on what he wanted. He said the worst part of any funeral is the funeral. The good stuff comes afterward when everyone talks, laughs, and tells stories. He decided to skip the morose stuff, and go straight to the party. Ned says if they want to remember Oscar, do what he wanted, and if they feel compelled to share a funny story, do. He’d rather have them smile than have tears. Olivia says, it’s going to be hard, but try. Ned says, for Oscar, and they all repeat, for Oscar.
Olivia says, the floor is open if anyone wants to share a story. Michael gets up, and says he knows they’re supposed to tell stories about Oscar. He doesn’t have one, but he knew Oscar was really brave when Oscar started dating his sister. She can be a bit much; strong-willed and opinionated. Carly says she doesn’t know where Josslyn got that from. Michael says Josslyn is extremely competitive, and he was worried guys would be intimated, but not Oscar. He saw what an amazing woman she is. He was understanding, and got her sense of humor. He got how to make her laugh. It wasn’t long before Michael realized she was safe with Oscar. He was a true gentleman; a true Quartermaine. He bonded with their grandmother, and accepted them as family. They’re lucky to have known him. He will be missed.
Cameron gets up. He says, in the beginning, he and Oscar weren’t friends. Not until he started dating Josslyn. On the 4th of July, Oscar and Josslyn were waiting for the fireworks to start, and Cameron showed up, and started eating their snacks. If Josslyn had been his girlfriend, he would have said, get lost, but Oscar made room. That’s what Oscar did. No matter who you were, he always had room, and he’d keep making room – until you pissed him off. Then he punched you in the face. He tells them, Michael said Oscar was brave. When Oscar found out he had cancer, they really saw what brave is. Fighting a losing battle, refusing to give up. He kept waiting for Oscar to get better, or get angry and feel sorry for himself. He had his moments, but he never stayed in them when he did. He stuck it out until the end, and gave every day to the people he loved. It was easier to let go, but he held on. He was brave and courageous, and Cameron is grateful he knew Oscar. Josslyn mouths, thank you.
Carly tells Josslyn that she doesn’t have to do this. Josslyn says she knows, but gets up. She had a crush on Oscar from the beginning, the quiet and serious new guy. They didn’t cross paths much at school, but when they were both working at Lila’s Kids, they had a chance to talk. It was so easy. They actually talked about life; things that mattered. Over that summer, her crush faded and she got to see the real Oscar then. That guy was so much better than the one she dreamt of in her head. He was funny, and smart, and a ridiculously good listener. There were things they didn’t have in common; things she liked and he didn’t, and vice versa, but he was still her biggest supporter. She hopes he felt like she was his. Kim says, he did. Josslyn says, Cameron is right about Oscar. By the end, he wanted to live more than anything, but knew that wasn’t happening. He was going to a different place, but he wasn’t afraid. The part he hated most was leaving them there to be sad. So this having a party, skipping the bad stuff and going to the good, is exactly who he was. Not that the hard part isn’t there – it is – but it’s about where you put the emphasis. He wanted the emphasis on the good. She’s not there yet, but she’s going to really try. The good part was getting to know Oscar, and love him and be loved by him, and she never wants to forget.
Drew says, now’s as good a time as any, and gets up. He says, it’s a scary thing to find out you have a teenage son. He wasn’t there for Oscar’s childhood; the hard times when you need a father. Intellectually, it’s a huge bond, but there’s no blueprint. Oscar made it easy. The more time they spent together, the more he wanted to spend. He was endlessly fascinated by his son; the way his brain worked, his curiosity and generosity. He’s guarded, but Oscar wasn’t. He was open. His heart was too big not to share it. They would go on hikes, and Oscar would talk the entire way. He’d tell Drew about his life, and ask about Drew’s; the six years he can remember. Oscar was a gift. He wanted more, but in the time he had, he was able to be a father, and a chance to make it work. He’s eternally grateful. To know Oscar is to love him, but to be his dad is forever. He’ll always carry Oscar in his heart.
Ned says Oscar didn’t want the party to end there. To honor Oscar’s last wishes, please follow him to the park. Cameron, Josslyn, and Trina join hands as they leave.
At the park, Olivia tells the guests, every bag is full of flower seeds. Ned says, Oscar deserved more than a few bouquets. Instead, they’ll have an entire field, and thanks to the PC Parks and Recreation Department, the field will now be known as Oscar’s Meadow. He lifts a tarp to reveal a plaque embedded in a rock. Olivia says, the idea is to spread a few seeds today, and hopefully, in a month there will be a sea of flowers. Olivia asks if they’re ready. She counts to three, and the seeds are thrown. Ned says, this officially concludes Oscar’s celebration. Kim has something else to say. The celebration was beautiful from start to finish. It had Oscar written all over it. She thanks them, and says it was an honor and privilege to be Oscar’s mother. She had him as a single mom, and essentially all of his life, it was him and her. When she got his cancer diagnosis, it occurred to her that she’d been selfish. She hadn’t given him the opportunity to know his family. That’s why they came to Port Charles. She’s glad they did. Oscar just blossomed. He met Josslyn, he made friends, and had places to go and people to see, He got to know all of them, and got to love them. She can’t express enough how much they enriched his life. Monica opened her arms to Oscar and welcomed him into the family. She taught him what it meant to be Quartermaine, and it gave him comfort knowing where he came from. Oscar was thrilled when they found Drew. The things they shared, and that Drew taught him. How he loved Drew. Drew listened to him, understood, and supported him, and gave him courage in the end when hers ran out. She takes Josslyn’s hands, and thanks her for being Oscar’s first love. Anyone with less strength would have run. She thanks Josslyn for being her. She hopes Josslyn comes back to the meadow often, and thinks of Oscar. She hopes Josslyn goes on to live an incredibly happy life because it’s what Oscar would have wanted for her. They hug.
Back at the Quartermaine’s, everyone mingles. Drew says Ned planned the end with Oscar, and he doesn’t have the words to thank him. Ned says Oscar loved Drew, and he’s so very sorry he’s gone. Drew says, the meadow. Olivia says it can’t make up for the loss, but it put some beauty back in the world. Drew hugs Olivia, and wonders if Oscar will be there every day. Ned believes he still will be.
Franco tells Elizabeth, Cameron was impressive. Elizabeth says, he always comes through when it matters. Franco says, he’s a really good kid. It will get better soon between them, he promises. She says she has no doubt, and they kiss.
Carly asks Jax how lucky are they. He says Josslyn has a long road, and Carly says she jumped a hurdle today. He says there are more to come, but Carly says Josslyn will take them.
Josslyn asks what Cameron and Trina think about spending the 4th of July at Oscar’s Meadow. Cameron says, sounds like a plan. He tells Josslyn that she did great, and she says, him too. Trina says, what about her? She’s their pillar of support, the ballast that steadies the ship. Josslyn says, what she is, is a really good friend. They decide to go to Kelly’s. Josslyn and Cameron leave to ask their moms first. Josslyn says, ballast. Impressive.
Sam hugs Drew. She’d asks if he’s okay, but knows he’s not. She wanted him to know she thinks he’s a great dad. He proved it every day. He thanks her for saying that. The celebration was perfect. It was everything Oscar wanted, but he can’t stop wishing it was a birthday party, and Oscar was here, laughing with his friends, his arm around his girl. He didn’t get enough time with Oscar, and needs her help. She says, of course (🍷); anything. He says he wants be the best father for Scout. She says he is. He wants Scout to know he loves her and he’ll be there for her to support her. He doesn’t want to hold too tight or make her feel like she’s glass. He doesn’t want her know he’s afraid of losing her too. She says she knows him, and knows he’s not going to give into fear. He’ll give their daughter the best of himself; all of himself, every day. The same way he did for Oscar. She hugs him, and says she’s so sorry.
Kim touches the plaque. Sonny approaches and asks if she wants to be alone. He can leave. He knows she doesn’t feel like it now, but she’ll come to a point where she’ll get comfortable in knowing the lives Oscar touched. Right now, it feels like a void, or like she has to make a choice between the emptiness she feels or the rage she has because life is unfair. Oscar wouldn’t have wanted that. She’s gotta keep going. She’s got to focus on what she loved in him, and how much he loved her. He doesn’t know when, but she’ll find peace in that. He takes her hand, and says he’s sorry. She thanks him through her tears, and he leaves. She flashes back to Oscar asking her not to put the Ashbery Award bumper sticker on the car, and her saying, it’s the first award of many; one day, they can say they knew him when. She looks up to the sky, and says, I love you my beautiful boy; I always will, and she cries
Tomorrow, Felicia sees Robert with the engagement ring, Nina tells Willow it’s an unacceptable situation, and Julian tells Doc to get his hands off his sister.
Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part Two
Brittany asks why James apologized, and said he cares about Jax. James says he changed his mind, and he doesn’t give a flying. She says, the real him, and Jax applauds. Tom says Jax was talking sh*t about James’s girlfriend, so James talked sh*t about her. Brittany says James was talking about her family. Tom is supposed to be their best man. Tom asks if that means he can’t disagree. They’re all shouting and talking over each other, and Andy tells them, STFU. Lisa says, yay. Andy decides to take a break, and Jax tells Brittany, Tom is out of the wedding party.
The others leave for the moment, and Lisa tells James, sit and relax. He starts crying, and says he’s in shambles. She tells him that he’s got this. He’s doing okay, but he can’t be saying something about Jax’s father, and defame him. James says he had seven of them coming after him.
In the back, Brittany asks Tom why he won’t hold James accountable. He says he does, but he had nine people coming at him. Apparently, one of them can’t count.
Lisa tells James, it doesn’t matter.
Jax tells Tom that he doesn’t have to be in the wedding. Jax asks why he’s being attacked, and Tom says he’s not.
Puffy! Lisa sits with Puffy on her lap, and says, he’s a therapy dog. Jax says, and people say their show isn’t real. Andy and the others come back. Andy asks Jax in what way Jax has changed, and he says he’s not attacking everyone anymore, which is kind of funny in this context. Andy says Tom claimed he might go back to his old ways; he’s a recovering sociopath. Tom says he knows Jax gets affected by circumstances, and when the high wears off, he’s back to his old ways. He’s concerned. Jax wonders why Tom can’t say he’s proud. He’s damned if does, and damned if he doesn’t. Tom says he’s concerned for Jax and Brittany’s well-being. He’s being a friend, and coming from the right place, so he had to check with Jax. We flash back to Tom saying he hopes the change in Jax isn’t coming from Brittany being there when Jax’s dad passed away. Lisa thinks Jax is a good person, but he’s still self-serving. He realizes his life is better with Brittany in it, and relishes and treasures her for that reason. Andy says he seemed closed off and dismissive in therapy at times. We flash back to that, and Andy asks how that made Brittany feel. She says he was closed off, and it was annoying sometimes. Jax says it was his third or fourth time in therapy. Brittany says she never went before, and was nervous. Jax says when he did something wrong, he would just forget about it, but he was 100% wrong. Lisa says he’s an easy target. Andy asks if James thinks Jax is a changed man. James says they got in a fight, but he’s seen a change. Good for you, mate. Lisa tells Jax that James acknowledged he’s changed, but Jax says James doesn’t give a sh*t. James agrees that he doesn’t. Jax asks what he does care about? Kristen says he doesn’t care about anything.
Andy says Tom spilled the beans about her and Lala taking their relationship to the next level. He asks Ariana if they’d made a pact to keep the night a secret. Ariana says she thought it was unspoken that unless all three of them were on board, it wouldn’t be shared. Tom says he felt bad about it. He’d just picked up his car after eight hours of car shopping, and they were wasted when he picked them up. Ariana says she doesn’t even remember the car, and asks if Lala remembers getting in a fight with someone. Lala asks, what happened? and Ariana says she almost got in a fight, but they left. Andy asks if Tom was involved. Ariana says she wanted him involved, and Lala says Ariana kept calling his name. Then she told Ariana to get in the back, and Ariana asked Tom if it was okay. Ariana says she has manners. Andy asks if Rand knew, and Lala says, no, but her mom did. Andy says Tom seemed annoyed, but it’s every guy’s fantasy. Tom says he was exhausted, and just wanted a beer, but they kept telling him to drive them around. Andy asks if Lala identifies as gender fluid, and she says she’s hooked up with chicks, but prefers a pp rather than a vv. He asks how Schwartz would feel if Katie hooked up with a girl. He says, she has. He’s not opposed to it, unless they fell in love, and Katie tells him, be careful what he wishes for. Lisa says everyone has hooked up with a girl except her. Andy says, and him. He says, now Brittany has to come clean about her and Kristen. Brittany says she remembers making out and touching boobs, but nothing more. Lala says Ariana had been talking about being insecure. We flash back to her saying she didn’t even want anyone looking at her vagina.
Andy says we watched Ariana and Stassi forge a friendship. Stassi’s persistence and Ariana not giving a… We flash back to Ariana saying she didn’t give a flying. Andy asks at what point did Ariana decide she liked Stassi, but Ariana doesn’t think she has a moment. She got tired of fighting it. Stassi asks why Ariana keeps denying her love for her. She claims to have her muted on Instagram, and doesn’t remember making out. She’s calling bullsh*t. Andy asks how they came up with Winter Is Coming as a theme for their joint birthday party. Stassi says they both love Game of Thrones, and they’re both ice queens. Andy asks if Scheana is jealous of their friendship, but Scheana says she’s the one who tries to get everyone to be friends, and she’d given up. Ariana says, maybe that was the moment; Scheana gave up.
Andy tells us that TomTom is a smash hit. Schwartz says they had Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Paula Abdul, and Selena Gomez come in all in the same week. Lisa says some of them are friends of friends. Jax says Lady Gaga wanted to see Brittany’s boobs. Brittany says, unfortunately, she wasn’t there or she would have flashed Gaga. Jax had to show a picture, and Andy asks if Gaga liked them. Jax says she asked who Brittany’s doctor was. Andy moves on to the Daily Mail party. Everyone except Kristen was there. We flash back to Kristen lying in bed with the dogs, eating pasta. Andy asks, why not let her come? but Lisa says it wasn’t her party. None of her friends there. James was DJing, the place belongs to the Toms, and it was Jax’s birthday. She didn’t want problems, and it wasn’t her place to invite anyone. Andy asks what Kristen thinks, and Kristen says Lisa likes to hold on to a grudge. Lisa says Kristen likes to jump into other people’s business. Andy says the TomTom opening was so great; the excitement, and pride Tom took in choosing the outfits and surprising his lover (i.e. Schwartz) with a motorcycle and sidecar. It was epic, and Andy kind of teared up. We flash back to Tom presenting Schwartz with his biking gear. Andy says it was a classic that he ran out of gas. Is he a motorcycle guy now? Tom says, more like a sidecar guy. He likes to take people for a spin, and asks if Andy wants a ride. Andy asks if Ariana is okay with it. They might get closer. Ariana says they did get him his own helmet, and Andy says, let’s go!
They go outside. Andy is given his helmet, and gets in. They start to go for a ride, but something goes wrong with the starter. A guy helps push them, and they take off again, but it stalls. Tom says, now it might be flooded. He tries starting it, but nothing. Tom says, good try, and Andy gets out. Tom tells him the problem with motorcycles is if you’re not riding them regularly, the battery dies and the engine isn’t warmed up. Sorry. Andy shrugs, and Tom pushes it back to the studio, saying, it’s so annoying.
Andy says, the cast accomplished a lot this year, but only one of them established their own holiday – Stassi’s Outfit of the Day. He asks how you buy a holiday, and Stassi says there’s an organization you apply to. You need to have a mission and a website, and submit it to them. She says, it’s not just about fashion, but feeling good about yourself. If you take extra time to put on an awesome outfit, you feel good. Andy points out that Lisa responded on Twitter by saying there’s an LVP Day on March 1st. He asks how Lisa celebrated, and she says she missed it; she was working.
Andy asks Katie if it isn’t being hypocritical to says James attacked her when she screamed at Lala. Katie says, that was over two years ago. He says she called Lala a whore, and she says that was girl on girl time. It wasn’t okay, but anyone who knows her, knows she has a sharp tongue. Lisa says she’s Katie’s biggest cheerleader, but thinks sometimes it’s Katie’s tonality. She needs a lesson on how to handle situations. Lisa adds that she doesn’t like ultimatums. Katie says she let things roll off for years, but James kept doing it, and she thought no more. At the end of the day, she doesn’t regret it. Schwartz says, she’s the ambassador of karma. James has done horrible things, but he’s apologized. Stassi says, he apologizes, but then does the same thing the next day. Tom tells James not to apologize, which comes out wrong, so Ariana translates, saying, if you don’t give a flying, don’t apologize because it means nothing. Andy asks if James has a grudge against Katie. He says he never had a grudge; he just doesn’t like her. Katie says, why? She’s the first person who’s making him be accountable. Everyone else lets him get away with it. Andy says Schwartz didn’t seem upset about the fat comment. Schwartz says he wasn’t happy, but thought she’d take it in stride, and just tell James to eff off. Katie says she did that for three years. She hears about her body now on social media, and it’s people like him who make her ashamed to be in her own body. James claims she said he was anorexic, but Katie denies saying that. I don’t remember, but if she did, I’m sure it was in response to one of his many fat comments. Tom says, Katie called Lala a whore, and waited two years to apologize. He calls her a hypocrite, and she says they all are. He says he’s not trying to get someone fired because they say he’s dumb. Andy says she called him out on how he spoke to women, and she got called out as a villain. Katie thinks they missed the point. It takes courage to stand up even if you make enemies. She’s proud of what she did, and thought it was noble. She’d never had the guts, and it felt good. She has no regrets. She’s modest too.
Brunchmaster General and SUR hostess Billie joins them. She’s completed her final surgery, and Billie says her body is now the way she always imagined it. Andy asks how her dating world is going, and she says it’s hard for a trans woman, but she’s putting out good vibes. She wants to have a baby, but will probably adopt soon. Andy asks if she had a little thing with Max, and we see a clip of Billie telling Lisa that she might be sleeping with her son. Lisa says Ken asked why Max stopped hooking up with her, and Max said, she’s a pretty girl. What’s the big deal? Billie says it was one drunken night, and they’re friends. Andy asks about Katie not inviting Billie to Girl’s Night, and Katie says they were just executing the process quickly; she wasn’t specifically not inviting anyone. Andy says she posted a note on Instagram, and tagged some of the women. Katie says that was just an oversight. Billie was upset, and took it as transphobic. We see Billie’s tweet about them leaving out the trans girl. Billie says she never said that word, pissing me off all over again because you can convey an idea without using the specific word. She says she liked a bunch of comments where people were upset with their workplace. Lisa says it’s upsetting, considering all the years she’s worked with the LGBTQ community. Billie thinks people aren’t aware, and Lisa says she’s been nothing but supportive. None of them have been anything but supportive. It was an oversight. She asks if Billie would label them as supportive, and Billie admits they have been. Andy asks for Stassi’s reaction, and Stassi says it was upsetting with Billie telling them to get their heads out of their asses. Ariana says, it’s not Katie’s fault, and Billie tells her she never said it was. Katie says she’s sorry Billie got left out of the post, but she has a life. Is she supposed to try and think of everyone who might be offended? Billie wishes America would do that. Nice try. She realized how stupid she’s sounding, and tried backtrack, and make a political statement out of it. I really wanted to like Billie, but I think her insecurities get the better of her. And I have to keep remembering, even though these people are adults, they don’t behave like adults. Andy ask how Girl’s Night compares to James’s See You Next Tuesday, and Katie thinks it’s much better. James says there’s never been a party like his that sold out, and he’s done sixty-seven of them. He tells Katie, see you next Tuesday.
Moving back to Lala. Andy says she’s gone from zero to one hundred a few times. We flash back to that. He asks why she has a hard having a conversation with someone who disagrees with her without yelling. She says it’s exhausting to school people on life. It’s a waste of time. Ariana feels Lala isn’t who she seems. She’s handling things poorly, but she’s gone through so much. Andy asks if Ariana still thinks Lala should toughen up. We flash back to Ariana saying that Lala is fragile right now, but she needs to toughen up. Ariana thinks she was looking at it from her own experience with the group. She went through the same thing and got no consolation. She was actively made fun of; Jax told her that she can’t play the dad card. Lala wonders why this group is numb to death. Schwartz says he was supportive, and Ariana thanks him. She says, even though it’s professional, it’s a volatile work environment. Maybe at that time, it wasn’t the best time for Lala to be working. Andy asks why Billie called Lala the Donald Trump of SUR, and she says Lala projects non-stop, and says mean things to people. Stassi says, James 2.0. Andy says Lisa didn’t totally believe what James said happened at the brunch with Lala screaming at Raquel and Billie. How did she feel watching it back? Lala says she’d do it again, and Lisa says she almost headbutted Raquel. That’s no way to behave. Lala says Raquel keeps coming to her when it’s feeding time in the lion’s den and doesn’t expect to get feasted on. Billie says she doesn’t know if Lala is on something, but she scares some people. Lala says, no blood was drawn, and Billie asks if blood has to be drawn for it to be aggressive. On that note, it’s time for Billie to leave the magic circle.
Andy tells us that Ariana and Tom have a big announcement. Ariana says she’s pregnant. Eight months; it’s super small. Tom explains they got a house. They’re just celebrating one month of living there. We see clips of them in their new place. Katie and Schwartz also have a house nearby. Katie says Schwartz couldn’t be away from Tom. Jax and Brittany are also joining the pack, as well as Kristen. Lisa is happy to see them progress. Andy says her kids are all growing up, and Lisa says they’re also making the right choices. Andy says it’s no coincidence that they got houses in the same neighborhood. They can all start having babies, Kaka says, baby time, and Schwartz says they’ll knock a few out. Brittany says they have plenty of room. She can’t wait to be a mama. As soon as it feels right, it’s going to happen. Andy says Ariana threatened to walk out if anyone asked her about having kids. She says people at events or on the carpet think it’s cute to ask Tom what his plans are after TomTom, but say she must be thinking about babies. Tom sees why she gets annoyed. Ariana says, if it changes, she’ll let them know.
Andy says Lala seems to go back and forth about being sober or drinking heavily. He asks what her relationship with alcohol is, and she says she loves it, but it’s abusive. Andy asks if something happened to cause her to get help. She says there were a lot of moments in her life that were alcohol driven, but she took a trip to Disneyworld with her and Rand’s families. She was drunk the entire time. In the plane on the way home, she was face-chugging from a bottle. The next morning, she decided she didn’t want to live this way again, and reached out to get help. She says she got sober on October 22nd, and never wants to drink again. Everyone applauds.
Andy asks Lisa why she thinks James is unable to follow her advice not to drink. She says, he’s his own worst enemy. Andy asks if he’s back to partying, and he says he’s been DJing and working a lot, but he’s not sober. Lisa says, he’s not always honest. James asks what they want him to say. Tom says it’s worse when he mixes alcohol with other things. James says he smokes weed, but Tom is talking about uppers. Good Lord, I haven’t heard anyone use that word in decades. I swear this group uses a 70s dictionary to communicate. Tom says that’s James’s kryptonite. James acts like he doesn’t know what Tom is talking about, and tells him to shut his mouth. Lisa tells him not to speak to Tom that way. He’s the one person who’s been on James’s side and has his back. Andy asks why James is angry today, but James insists he’s not. Lisa thinks he had a drink at lunch. Katie says, this is normal. James says he has eight people screaming at him. Okay, now it’s eight. One, two, three…. Kristen says he built the house, now he has to live in it. Stassi wonders why they should feel bad for him. James tells Stassi to stop playing with her ugly extensions, and everyone is like, see what we mean? Andy thinks they look great, but James says they’ll see what Twitter has to say. Lala doesn’t think James should say anything about that after his girlfriend came out wearing polyester. We see a clip of Raquel in that terrible dress.
Andy says James said sometimes he needs a drink to make him feel like himself. James says he gets social anxiety, and feels the need to be on. People want meet him a lot, and it gets hard. He feels like after a whiskey or two, he’s on. Andy asks if he’s still helping his family, and he says, of course, but he doesn’t want to go into detail. Kristen says he wants to act like he’s the only one who helps his family. Andy wonders why Kristen is chiming in, and Lisa tells him, that’s what she meant. James says he’s sorry he’s not so sparky today. Stassi is curious as to why the show focused on James helping his family, when every person there helps out their family. She thinks it’s unfair. Tom asks if Stassi helps her parents pay their rent, but Stassi doesn’t want to go into it. Why embarrass their families? Andy says, it’s compelling to watch. Schwartz admires that James helps his family, but Katie says he uses it as justification for his behavior. Lisa doesn’t think he does. Jax tries to say something nice, and James tells him, STFU. He says he was giving James a complement. Stassi says James won’t stop talking about how hates them. Andy asks how Lisa felt when she was called a mother figure by James’s mother. Answering a different question, she says, the perception of James would be 100% negative if they weren’t showing the other side. It’s very important to see his compassion, and him supporting his family. Katie says she’s been going through a helluva ride, battling depression for years, and James’s parents got divorced. Poor thing. Give her a break. Lisa says, it’s not quite like that. Kristen says half of their parents are divorced, and Lisa says, it’s not a competition. James asks if they’re kidding him, and Kristen says he was raised by effing a-holes. Lisa thinks that’s going too far, but Brittany says he called her family hillbillies. James walks off, saying he can’t listen to sh*t about his family, and have them not expect him to rip someone’s head off.
Next time, Beau joins the group, Lisa says both Jax and Ken are dirty dogs, and Kristen says she’s doing it on her own, but Katie says she’s still with Carter.
🐲 It’s late, and I’m behind. Long story about Mother’s Day flowers that weren’t delivered (do not use JustFlowers – I repeat, do not use JustFlowers), and took up an enormous part of my day. So even though you probably know by now, it was dracarys all over the place, I’ll throw in my two cents on Game of Thrones tomorrow.
🏰 In the Meantime…
Enjoy these retro reactions to The Red Wedding.