June 10, 2019 – Part Two – A Chef Who Can’t Cook, Lotsa Lisa, Lisa’s Spinoffs, Who Antoinette Went Home With & a Winner

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

👈 Please see previous post for June 10th’s General Hospital.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Nice, France. Mila puts steaks in microwave to warm them up. I hear Gordon Ramsay screaming at her in my head. The steaks are served. Hannah gripes to the other stews about the microwave, but the guests like the food. Even the one who’s tough to please with a steak. Hannah is relieved. In her interview, Mila says she feels happy. It’s good that even though she was sick, she still managed. I’m cursing my life, since not only do Aesha and Anastasia have names that start with the same letter, they look similar. This is going to be a tough season.

Captain Sandy scarfs down a taco. She sees the infamous nacho chips, and asks Hannah how the guests are doing. Hannah says, okay. In Hannah’s interview, she says the last few seasons were rough. We flash back to that. She says communication with the captain is her main priority. She doesn’t want Captain Sandy seeing food, and wondering why Hannah didn’t say anything about it. The captain tells Hannah, the nachos look terrible, and Hannah says that’s why she didn’t take them out. The captain thanks her, and they high-five.

Travis says, they’re rolling towels and living the dream. Hannah asks João for a schedule. He says he’ll stay up until the guests go to bed. The nachos are tossed.

In the morning, Captain Sandy says they’re getting ready to leave, and checks on the guests’ dinner. In the captain’s interview, she thinks the guests are being nice, but she’s being cautious. She asks the crew to return radio one, and Jack brings it back. The last thing he wants is for Captain Sandy pulling his ear like a naughty schoolboy, and slapping his ass on the bridge. She tells them to start hauling anchor. The anchor is home, and they go into gear.

The beach picnic is today, and Hannah wants to go over the meal plan with Mila. Sandwiches and salads should be ready to go at 1:30. Mila says she’ll go and get inspiration, which I think means take a nap. Aesha serves breakfast, pointing out that every dot on a strawberry is an ovary. In her interview, she says, because she’s happy, people think she’s an airhead, but she’s smarter than she appears, and has a double science degree. One of the guests looks up the ovary thing online, and says she’s correct. It does sound like something somebody would make up.

João tells Travis about the schedule. Travis can’t believe he’s lead deckhand. He’s driving blind, and doesn’t know where he’s going with the tender. Captain Sandy says there’s only one beach there. In her interview, she explains they have to find private places for beach picnics, but if the guests want something, they get it. Hannah tells João to quit stalking Brooke’s Instagram. In his interview, he says, as much as he tries to hide his feelings about Brooke, they still linger. He says Hannah has brought an energy this season he never thought he’d see. Rut-roh.

Mila says if she was on a boat, she wouldn’t ask for club sandwiches, but you have to give the guests what they want. She’s making salads, and they’re nearly an hour behind schedule. Hannah doesn’t know how you can be late, making sandwiches for five people. Captain Sandy asks the sky not to rain. The food is on it’s way, and Hannah asks Mila if they don’t need a few things like a knife. In her interview, Hannah says things are happening that shouldn’t happen on a superyacht.

Pointe d’ le Something. At the beach, Aesha radios Hannah, asking for a ten minute warning, but Hannah says the guests are coming now. They arrive, and Aesha welcomes them to lunch. She makes drinks. Back at the yacht, everything is cleaned and tidied. Hannah double-checks everything. She thinks it’s a miracle that it’s all done. She’s happy with a strong third stew in Anastasia. It’s been testy for the past few years. We flash back to the duds. In her interview, Anastasia says she likes being the best at what she does, whether it’s cleaning toilets or cooking a five-course meal. Thank you. I’m with her on that.

In the galley, Mila tells João and Jack about pursuing her culinary school dream.

Aesha realizes they forgot the tequila. In her interview, Hannah says she has so many balls in the air, she’s not surprised she dropped one. She needs everyone to do their jobs. João brings two bottles. Colin says he’s like Aquaman. He’s got the goods, and he’s saving the day. Then Colin ruins it. João tosses the bottles to him, and he drops one.

Captain Sandy sees rain coming, and hopes it goes the other way. Jack says he’s going to make her the best tea on board. He doesn’t think she’s seen him at his best yet. Mila says the guests have requested Italian tonight, but she can’t give them prosciutto, since there’s no machine to slice it properly. Hanna says she has Mila’s back, but in her interview, Mila says she hates fake people, and thinks Hannah is fake. Well, she’s just a co-worker. Who cares?

A storm comes up, and the captain hears thunder. She tells João to get the guests back in the boat. Everything on deck is covered. On the beach, Jay says, it comes in fast. Hannah radios João, and tells him to help pack up and get the guests back. Aesha says, they’re coming. The captain greets them, saying she didn’t want them struck by lightning. João goes back again, and helps Colin pack up at super speed.

Jack wants quick cuppa tea, but João suggests he help with the work. Jack says he’s not standing in the rain, but João says he will if they need him too. In João’s interview, he says Jack should think like the engineer he is. If João is going to be a more efficient as a leader. he has to figure out what motivates Jack. This is a good question. Does anything? Hannah asks Captain Sandy how the weather is looking, and the captain thinks it might pass, but they should have dinner inside, since she still hears thunder. Hannah tells Mila that Carol wants a white cake with white frosting for her birthday. In Mila’s interview, she says she’s not a cake person. She didn’t do a patisserie course, and hopes they like it. Come on, man. How hard is it? Even I can bake a decent cake.

The table is set, balloons are blown up, and crepe paper is streamed. Captain Sandy decides she’ll try and slice the prosciutto. Her father was in the meat business. She tells Mila. you don’t give up. If the guests want ham, they get ham. Holy! She is really good at that, slicing it thin with a big knife. She says it’s like being back in the meat shop, which she never liked, but it made her night to contribute. I like Captain Sandy because you know she’d never ask you to do something she wouldn’t do. That’s a good boss.

The guests get ready. The stews try the cake, and at first it’s all yum, but then Anastasia says she bit into some baking powder. They realize it the baking powder taste is too strong. In her interview, Anastasia says, it’s baking soda in cake form; it’s disgusting. Hannah says she can’t serve it to the guests. Mila insists it’s not that strong, and says she’ll serve it. I always forget they don’t wear shoes on the yacht, and get startled when I see their feet. Hannah takes a piece of the cake to Captain Sandy, who says, wow. It’s so bad. She says they’re in trouble. She’ll handle it. In her interview, she says a lot of chefs are good at cooking, but not baking. However, a yacht chef has to do both. She can’t discuss all that now, because there’s no time. She has to get Mila to focus on the food and making a good meal. Anastasia suggests cupcakes. In her interview, she says she was a chef on the last boat she worked on, and thinks there’s no excuse. Baking is in her blood. Her mom was a pastry chef, and she’s got this. She tells everyone what she needs, and Hannah tells the captain that Anastasia is taking over with the cake.

Carol thinks the décor is really pretty. Anastasia rocks cake making. Captain Sandy tests the batter, and loves it. She says, teamwork. Jack hides while the other guys work. Hannah serves a caprese salad.  Anastasia says she was happy to bang out another cake. Jack sits in the galley, eating. In her interview, Anastasia says she has a dirty mind, but she’s not promiscuous. She’d rather watch the Gilmore Girls. Truffle pasta is served. Carol says, it’s beyond good. Mila ices the cake. Hannah calls the crew to sing, and tells Anastasia to carry the cake since she made it. In Mila’s interview, she says she feels bad already, and Hannah had to say Anastasia made the cake in front of everyone. Don’t give her a fake smile next time. Happy Birthday is sung, and Carol blows out the candles. She says she’s going to cry. In the galley, Captain Sandy says, good job, and she and Jack clink teacups. The cake is served, and Jay says it’s the best cake he’s ever had. He asks if Mila does the baking, and Aesha says Anastasia baked the cake. Mila is annoyed with Aesha, and says it was nice of her to let the guests know. Aesha says they asked, and she wasn’t going to lie. Besides, Anastasia deserved it. For whatever reason, Mila refuses to believe the guests asked about the cake. I’m starting to think Mila might not last through the season. She gripes to Anastasia, who doesn’t think Aesha meant anything by it, adding the day has been stressful. Mila says she knows what was being said. Colin and João talk about Hannah and Mila going after each other, and João compares them to cats.

Breakfast served. In Anastasia’s interview, she says, Aesha is crazy and inappropriate, and the guests love her. The guests continue to rave about the cake, saying Anastasia is so talented, which must be killing Mila. Anchor is hauled up. Jack says he’s not experienced in that, and has no clue what’s going on. He’s just out there to get some sun. I don’t know if he’s lasting either. João discusses the lines with the captain. In his interview, he says although he’s worked with her, it’s never been in this position. He needs to prove she can trust him under pressure. If she trusts him now, she’ll trust him all season. He asks Travis to do some nautical things. In Travis’s interview, he says people who work on yachts think they’re all that, even though they’re really an effing janitor on a floating toilet. But if his boss tells him to do something, he’ll do it.

The guests pack. The captain says there’s a bit of current, and docking is a little tricky. João and Travis help guide her in. Jack asks if he could be shown how to do it next time. Captain Sandy says, maybe, and tells João that he did nicely. He says, nailed it, and he and Travis high-five.

Aesha says she got a head start on going out. She’s soaked her tampon in vodka. Hey, I just report what I’m seeing and hearing. In her interview, she says she’d never do that, but it sounds interesting, and she’d like someone else to try it. Maybe she can get Jack to do it. The guests don’t want to leave. The crew is called to the dock. Jay gets weepy, and says they’re amazing. It was the greatest vacation of his life. He wishes them a great season. In her interview, Mila says Russian men don’t cry, even at their mother’s funerals. It makes her feel uncomfortable and weird. Geez, the dude is probably crying because he has to go back to work soon. And didn’t she spend a bunch of time in France? I bet they cry there.

Tip time! The captain says, in spite of Mila being sick, they came together. She thanks the interior for taking charge in the galley. She can trust them. She doesn’t know about Jack though. In Jack’s interview, he says it’s lucky he has his smile. He paid enough for it, so he’s using it to get himself out of trouble. The tip is 13K euros, which I had to look up, and it translates to $14,706.19 – 1175 euros each, or $1329.21. They have some champagne, and laugh a lot. The boat is cleaned up, and the crew cleans themselves up. Sitting outside, Mila asks if Jack prefers boys, and he tells her, piss off.

Captain Sandy calls Mila to the bridge. In her interview, the captain says just because the charter guests liked the food, doesn’t mean it’s up to standard, and she knows what standard is. She needs to see the standards of someone who was trained in Paris. She shows Mila photos of how she should be plating food. Ouch. But yeah, her plating is crummy. Those MasterChef Junior kids are a million times better. She tells Mila that she’s been doing this a long time, and worked with a lot of chefs. She has to know Mila can do this, and right now, she doesn’t know. She had a rough start because she was sick, but she’s not sick now. Captain Sandy says, let’s do this. She has it, right? Mila nods, and in her interview, says she’s grateful for the captain’s opinion. Captain Sandy’s words make her feel like she really wants to perform more. She worded it like that, not me.

Jack can’t believe Mila with her hair all blown out. He says she thought he was gay, and Travis says, it’s a compliment. Jack says he didn’t think he was giving that vibe. Mila comes by with beer, and asks if they’re stepping out tonight. Jack says he’ll step out with her.

Everyone heads out. In Jack’s interview, he explains that he was going out with girl when he left. He was honest, and told her that he wouldn’t be loyal. He’s going out for a few drinks, and a little wiggle. And maybe have a crack on with one of the girls. Who knows what will happen? In the car, Colin asks how dinner was. Mila is in the other car, and Hannah says, the experience or the food? She thinks if you’re working on a yacht this size, and serve that kind of food, you’re not a good chef. She’s not being a bitch. She thinks Mila is a nice person.

In the other car, Travis says, Russians are homophobes, and Mila agrees. She’s also happy to be one. She doesn’t care what people do at home, but she doesn’t want her son growing up seeing two men kissing, and think it’s normal. It’s not.

João says Mila is sweet, and Hanna says, she’s a lovely person. I laugh, thinking, just wait. Mila says she’s proud of Putin, and glad he doesn’t let them have gay parades in their country. Travis tells her, STFU. Get out of the van. Um… he’s not driving, so I don’t think he gets a say in that. Travis says he’s never going to speak with her again. Maybe he’s been with men, or maybe those are his friends. Mila tells him, all she said is that she doesn’t want to see it openly. He says her opinion of gay people is her opinion of humanity. She says, it’s not normal. Is being with an animal normal? There’s a millisecond of silence, where they all can’t believe what they just heard. In Travis’s interview, he says, her mindset is warped. He tells her to sit at the opposite end of the table, calling her an oxygen thief.

Next time, the primary is Captain Sandy’s friend the vibrator queen, Colin gets hurt, Hannah doesn’t want to work with a homophobic pr*ck who can’t cook, the guests don’t like the food, and Anastasia gets put in the galley.

💋 Lots of LVP…

Her evolution.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/07/the-evolution-of-lisa-vanderpump/slide-1/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190608&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-8023016-711673032

Skipping the reunion.

https://www.eonline.com/shows/daily_pop/videos/289720/lisa-vanderpump-skips-rhobh-reunion-andy-cohen-reacts?cmpid=enewsvideo&content=Trending&source=taboola&medium=Below-Article-Thumbnails-Card-1

Why she quit.

http://extratv.com/2019/06/07/lisa-vanderpump-opens-up-about-why-she-quit-rhobh/?adid=extra_eme_27058_2019-06-07_rightnow4

And who might replace her.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/06/kathy-hilton-in-talks-to-replace-lisa-vanderpump-on-rhobh/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🌴 And On Lisa’s Coattails…

Restaurant drama with the Vanderpump Rules cast.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/07/vanderpump-rules-cast-gets-competing-bachelorettes-booted-from-party/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190608&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8023017-711673032

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/08/vanderpump-rules-producers-create-restaurant-drama-in-miami/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190609&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8024469-711673032

To prenup or not to prenup.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/vpr-lala-kent-randall-emmett-prenup-lisa-vanderpump/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

I doff my cap to Stassi.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/vpr-stassi-schroeder-makeup-free-psoriasis-selfie/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

More Jax and Brittany pre-wedding festivities. Stassi’s suit is a no. Just no. As a matter-of-fact, none of the suits are all that attractive. Maybe Lala’s.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/vpr-brittany-cartwright-bachelorette-lala-kent-bikinis/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

Warning: boobies ahead.

https://radaronline.com/photos/vanderpump-rules-star-kristen-doute-poses-topless/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🏆 And You Get a Tony…

Everything about the awards in a nutshell.

https://nypost.com/2019/06/09/tony-awards-2019-best-and-worst-moments-full-winners-list/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190610&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-8025721-711673032

🍱 A Combination…

The Tony Awards, Pride month, and one of my favorite songs from a musical.

 

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