June 20, 2019 – Sonny Brings Home a Surprise, Dorinda Brings Back the 80s, More Than a Cup of Tea & Solstice This

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Neil sees Alexis at Kelly’s. She says they have to stop meeting like this, and he asks if she comes there often. Living in Jersey, he became a diner buff, and might become a regular there. She tells him Kristina said she’s doing well in therapy, but she didn’t get much more out of her. She knows; boundaries. He says he looks forward to seeing her at their regular session, and leaves.

Sitting at a nearby table, Diane tells Alexis, it’s an inspiring view. It’s nice to see her flirting with anyone who’s not Julian. Alexis says, that would be highly inappropriate; he’s her therapist. Diane says, it doesn’t look like the typical patient/therapist interaction. Alexis says, there’s a little more to the relationship, and Diane says, mmm-hmm.

Doc’s secretary, Heidi, says she’s glad the Board decided to reinstate him. He thanks her, and says he’s getting settled back in. She says it wasn’t the same without him. They’re lucky to have him back. He thinks he’s the lucky one.

Franco sees Drew at the hospital, and says he didn’t know Drew was back. Is he there to see a doctor? Drew says he’s fine. He just has no energy to go home. The jet lag hit him like a hammer. Franco asks how the trip was, and Drew says, it was a beautiful experience in a lot of ways, but also very hard. He and Kim had to do it for themselves. Oscar made it to the summit, where they scattered his ashes. It hurt like hell, but gave him a sense of closure. Maybe. Franco asks how Kim is, and Drew says, not so well. He doesn’t think it affected her the same way. She’s taking Oscar’s death hard.

Elizabeth brings Kim a vegetable lasagna, and tells her that the whole family is thinking about her. Kim asks if Elizabeth is pressed for time. She’s not, and Kim asks her in. She says the lasagna is thoughtful, and Elizabeth says she thought it would be one less thing to worry about. There should be enough for her and Julian. And probably half the apartment building. It’s gigantic.

Jason tells Carly that she needs to keep busy, and she asks how the hell she’s supposed to do that with Josslyn at the police station? Jason says she’s not in trouble, and she texted she was okay. Carly says whatever happened, it was serious enough for Sonny to go handle it in person.

Josslyn tells Sonny that she found the guy in Lulu’s house. She figured Carly would freak out, but she wasn’t in any danger. Sonny asks why she’s so sure, and she says the guy says he knows Sonny. Sonny looks through the window, and sees Dev (I had his name wrong, sorry). He tells Chase that he thinks they made a mistake with the kid. He’s actually a friend. He asks Chase to give him a second to clear it up. Chase says, be his guest, and Sonny goes into the interrogation room. Dev says, Mr. Corinthos, and Sonny tells him to call him Sonny. Dev thinks he could be in serious trouble, but Sonny says, stop that. First, what is he doing there? Why was he robbing Dante’s house?

I notice Franco has Luke’s old spot as the final headshot in the credits.

Franco tells Drew that it will probably take Kim time to put the pieces together. She’s lucky to have Drew. Drew says he’s trying. Franco says it’s a beautiful thing they did; taking Oscar’s ashes to Kilimanjaro. He admires it. Not many people get a tribute like that. Drew says, he deserved nothing less; he was a great kid. Franco agrees, and says if Drew needs anything, let him know. Drew appreciates that, and says if Franco is serous, there is something he can do.

Elizabeth asks how Kim is holding up. Kim says, it’s tough; the grief comes in waves. The morning is the most challenging, waking up and remembering Oscar is gone. Elizabeth asks how the trip was, and Kim says, beautiful. Elizabeth asks, what else? and Kim says it was really painful. There’s something about being on another continent, being far away from everyone she knows and everything that happened. Landing back in Port Charles is like another level and depth of pain. She doesn’t know what to do next. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know exactly what Kim is feeling, but Kim can lean on her. Julian too. Kim says, not really, and Elizabeth asks if something happened. Kim says she asked Julian to have a baby with her.

Carly tells Jason that she’s a mom. She can’t turn it off when it’s inconvenient. He says she seems more than worried. What’s up? She says she’s not excited about him going to Beecher’s Corners. What if someone recognizes him, like the cop who tried to arrest him? He says somebody has to figure out if Shiloh is involved in Douglas Miller’s death. She asks why that someone has to be him. Why not Spinelli, or Max and Milo? He says Spinelli’s been there already, and Max and Milo look like exactly what they are – bodyguards someone sent. She says Jason isn’t inconspicuous, but he says he can fly under the radar. If there’s evidence, they need it.

Michael says, Willow killed her father? She says, not literally, but it feels that way sometimes. He asks, what happened? and she says before DOD and Shiloh, they were a family. Her father wasn’t a spiritual seeker like her mother, but he supported and respected her. He followed her from one commune and ashram to the next. When she got involved with DOD, he joined too, but it didn’t last.

Dev says he wasn’t robbing Dante’s house, but Sonny says, the cops disagree. When they met, Dev tried to take his phone; he is a thief. Dev says he’s a professional, and Sonny says he was impressed. Dev says he steals from people who deserve it, but he made a mistake in Sonny’s case. He came looking for Sonny first. Nice estate. Sonny says Dev was at his house? Dev says he snuck in, and went to the front, but couldn’t find a way in, so he looked for Dante. He saw there was a break-in, and scared the guy off. He grabbed the bag, but he wasn’t taking anything. Then the girl came in, and jumped to the wrong conclusion. Sonny suggests they not get ahead of themselves. Why is Dev there in Port Charles? Dev says, it’s a long story. Sonny sits, and says they got the time.

Neil stands in Doc’s office doorway, and says he guesses they let just about anyone work there these days. Doc says, it’s been years, and Neil says, seven. The last time he saw Doc was in Boston at a symposium. Doc asks how he is, and Neil says, well. He has a private practice there. Doc says, if he’d known, he would have been calling about sharing a space, but the Board lifted his suspension. Neil says his patients must be relived, and Doc says, some. Others are too disturbed about Ryan, so he has lots of openings. Neil asks if he can pencil in an old colleague. Doc asks if he wants to grab a drink, but Neil says he meant for a session.

Alexis tells Diane that Neil is treating Kristina. Diane is disappointed. She thought Alexis meant there was more of a personal relationship. Alexis says Neil was treating her, and Sonny sought him out for Kristina. He’s an expert in recovery from cults. She’s grateful for that, but Diane says it must be awkward, sharing a therapist with her daughter. She thinks Alexis should find another therapist, and take Neil for a spin on her couch. Alexis says, put down the bow, Cupid. Diane says it wouldn’t hurt to have a romance. Alexis says Neil has an unusual style. It’s not what she’s used to. He challenges her, and she likes it. He doesn’t let her get away with making excuses. She doesn’t like it, but knows it’s good for her. The sessions are exhausting, but rewarding. Diane says, the hallmark of the best relationships.

Doc tells Neil to have a seat. He asks if it’s personal or professional, and Neil says, a little of both. He’s having conflicting feelings for a patient.

Sonny asks why Dev came to the states? The Bureau said they’d take care of him after he helped Dante escape from Raj’s compound. Dev wonders why he should trust the Bureau. Sonny says they have a long range, and Dev says they’re too powerful. For all he knows, Raj’s people have bonded with them. Sonny says, so he took matters into his own hands? Dev says he got some financing. There was a lot of money around Raj’s compound. Enough so he could get a passport and travel there. Sonny asks why Dev came to him. Dev says if Sonny doesn’t help, he’ll be deported, and he’ll be dead if they send him back to Turkey.

Franco tells Drew, anything he needs. Drew says maybe they could grab a beer sometime. Franco says, that’s it? and Drew says he thinks he might need a friend to vent to. He usually goes to Kim first. **Franco asks if he’s Drew’s second go-to? Drew says what he’s trying ask is if Franco thinks they can be the brothers they once were. Franco says, no problem. Drew asks what Franco has in the folder, and He shows Drew the flyer for the wedding. Drew says, it looks like an invitation.

Kim tells Elizabeth that Julian was being supportive, and before she knew it, she suggested they have a child together. More than that; she flat out asked. She knew it was impulsive, but once she said it, she really wanted it to happen. Elizabeth asks what Julian said, and Kim says, maybe sometime in the future. Elizabeth says, so he’s open to the possibility, but Kim says, he’s just being kind. She probably sounds insane, but she’s not trying to replace Oscar. Elizabeth doesn’t think that, but thinks Kim should consider why she wants a child now. Kim says, Oscar was the most important thing to ever happen to her. Since the moment he was born, every choice she made was about him; his quality of life, and his future. She wanted to show him how be a kind, caring, and generous person. Elizabeth says she did that. Oscar was all those things. Kim says, being a mother, nurturing another life, is who she’s become, and she can’t see herself not being that. She doesn’t know who she would be.

Willow tells Michael that her father was the first to realize something was wrong with Shiloh, and confronted him. Shiloh made a show of hearing him, but after that, he went against her father, and undermined him. Shiloh was pulling the strings, but she didn’t see that. Her father was driven out of DOD. He wanted to take her with him, but her mother wouldn’t let him. Truth be told, she didn’t want to go; she was so brainwashed and completely in Shiloh’s thrall. Every few months, her father reached out. He even sent a key to his apartment in case she wanted to visit, but she knew she was never leaving DOD. She ignored him for weeks. then one time he called the house, and said he was staying at a hotel in town. He begged her to see him. She sensed something was off. She could hear desperation, like he was in trouble. Shiloh was there when he called, and encouraged her to see her father. It was classic Shiloh. He acted like it was her choice, but he was setting her up to do what he wanted. Michael asks if they met, and Willow says they planned to meet at the hotel for dinner. When she was about to leave, her mom stopped her, and told her that Shiloh had decided it was time for her initiation ceremony. In that moment, she had to choose between DOD or her father, and she chose DOD. She cries, nd Michael holds her.

Jason tells Carly that he’s not going to Beecher’s Corners tonight. She asks, why? and he says, it’s late, and it’s a long drive. Carly says he’s afraid if he leaves before Sonny and Josslyn come back, she’ll go to straight to the police station. It’s incredibly condescending for him to save her from herself. He says he can’t stop her from doing anything. She says when he tells her not to do something, he’s always right, but she never realizes it until after the fact. He asks if she’s going to the station. She says, no, and he says what if he left. She says she wouldn’t go, but it would be harder to stop herself. He says, exactly. That’s why he’s sticking around. He thinks she’s doing the right thing by Josslyn.

Josslyn tells Lulu that Dev and Sonny obviously know each other. Lulu wonders how they know if he’s telling the truth. Josslyn wonders why he was robbing the house, and Lulu says, it doesn’t make sense. Sonny comes out, and Josslyn asks, what’s going on? He says he’s trying figure it out. Josslyn asks who he is, and Sonny says he’ll explain later. He asks to speak with Lulu in private. Josslyn looks at Dev for like the millionth time.

Michael asks how her father’s death is Willow’s fault? She says she let Shiloh and her mother get in her head. She should have known how badly her father needed her, but instead she made plans for breakfast with him. They were going to walk around the lake and talk; see where things were at. When he didn’t show up, she went to the front desk. They took her to his room. The door wasn’t shut, and the TV was on, so she went in. She found him dead on the bathroom floor of an overdose. She says it wasn’t an accident, and it’s clear it’s all her fault. She chose DOD over her dad. Now he’s gone.

Alexis tells Diane, one thing Neil said… and Diane says, Neil, Neil, Neil. She knows all the signs, and this is more than a professional interest. Alexis says she respects the boundaries between therapist and patient, but she is a little curious. Diane asks if she’s done any digging, and Alexis says, of course (🍷). Diane asks what she found, and Alexis says he was married, and lived in Montclair. She cut herself off after that, but the temptation remains. She’s trying to respect the boundaries. Diane says, of course (🍷) Alexis should, but that doesn’t mean she has to.

Doc asks if Neil has romantic feelings, but Neil says, it’s nothing like that. He’s clear on the boundaries, but the patient is struggling, and he feels invested in seeing things work out. Doc asks if he isn’t always, but Neil says it’s a different scenario. He and the patient share something in common, and he knows what they’re going through. If he shares his experience, maybe they won’t feel alone. Doc asks, what’s preventing him?

Carly tells Jason that you don’t foresee helping your kid with their grief. She’s just trying to be present, and give Josslyn space. Jason says the last thing she wants is to have Josslyn feel like she’s trying to make everything okay. Carly says it’s Josslyn’s nature to be strong and act like everything is fine when she’s dying on the inside. She wants Josslyn to see a therapist, but Josslyn is against it. Jason says, maybe she’s not ready. What matters is that she knows Carly is there for her, but it doesn’t mean fixing everything. Carly says, it’s tempting, but when he’s right, he’s really right. He says, it happens sometimes. She tells Jason the kids had a séance; they were trying to contact Oscar. She didn’t want to discourage Josslyn, but she’s afraid if Josslyn keeps doing things like that, she won’t move on. Jason asks if she told Josslyn that, but Carly says, no. Assuming she’s safe, maybe Josslyn being at the station is a good thing. It will give her something else to focus on for a minute.

Lulu says, Dev helped Sonny free Dante in Turkey? What’s he doing there? Sonny says, he was looking for Dante, and scared off the burglar. Lulu wonders why he left Turkey, and Sonny says, he’s afraid Raj’s people are after him, and he doesn’t trust the WSB. Lulu can’t fault him on that. Sonny says, if he goes back, he won’t make it, and Lulu asks what they’re going to do. Chase asks, what’s going on? and Lulu says she made a mistake. It’s as the young man described. He’s the one who scared off the burglar. Chase asks what led to this realization, and Sonny says, it turns out the young man is a friend of the family.

Elizabeth tells Kim that she doesn’t need have baby with Julian to be a mother. The title and experience is part of her; it always will be. Like Oscar will live on in his father and her. Kim thanks her. She thinks she needed to hear that from another mother. Elizabeth says, there’s no road map for what she’s going through. There’s no right or wrong way to process grief, but please be kind to herself. Feel what she needs to, and give herself time. Kim thanks her for not judging, and for the good advice and lasagna. She came at the perfect moment. Elizabeth says she doesn’t have to leave. She can get someone to cover her shift. Kim says that’s sweet, but thinks maybe she should crash and deal with the jet lag. Elizabeth hugs her, and says call any time.

Drew ask if Franco and Elizabeth aren’t already married. He remembers officiating at the ceremony. Franco says there was no celebration. They want a celebration with their friends and family, where they eat too much, drink too much, and dance a little. There was never a right time, but he feels selfish doing it right now. Drew says, life goes on. They deserve to be happy, and a wedding deserves a celebration. It would mar Oscar’s memory to let death impede the living. He’ll be there.

Doc asks if Neil feels he’s gotten himself into a tricky limbo, and Neil says, hence his visit. Doc says under the best circumstances, Neil can use his experiences as a template to help a patient get through. Neil asks, what if the issue isn’t past, and he’s still grappling with it? Doc thinks he already knows the answer. He can’t involve a patient with his personal life, and can’t unburden himself about his own struggles.

Diane looks on her tablet, and asks Alexis, Burn as in fire, or Bern like the lead singer for the Talking Heads? Alexis asks, what’s a talking head, and Diane says her right now. Never mind; she found him. She reads something, and tells Alexis, it’s nothing. Forget she said anything. All that will come up is related to his books. Except one thing. Alexis asks, what? and Diane says, a death notice.

Carly gets a text, saying Sonny and Josslyn are on their way home with a surprise. Nothing bad. She wonders what Josslyn is talking about. Jason says he’s taking off. She thanks him for waiting. She says, Josslyn will be okay. She’ll find her way a little at a time. He says, it’s all anybody can do.

Franco sees Elizabeth, and says he just had a difficult conversation with Drew. Elizabeth says she visited Kim earlier. She’s really struggling. They’ve experienced unimaginable loss. All they can do is listen and offer support, but Kim seemed better when she left. Franco says maybe Elizabeth said something that inspired her. Elizabeth says, maybe.

Kim calls Drew. She’s surprised he answered, and he’s not crashed out. He asks, what’s up? and she says she was wondering if he was free for dinner tomorrow. There’s something she’d like to discuss.

Willow tells Michael that she’s sorry for melting down. He says she has every right to grieve her father’s death. She can’t blame herself. She says she was supposed to be there with him. If she’d gone when he asked… Michael says they can go over hypotheticals all day long, but it won’t change anything. There’s no point in beating herself up. She was coerced, emotionally, if not physically. She should give herself credit for breaking free. It took incredible courage. She says, look where led her. What if Shiloh finds Wiley?

Doc tells Neil the boundaries are there for a reason. Sharing in the patient’s struggles is problematic, and muddies the dynamic. Neil says, so it’s not clear which one seeking help.

Alexis asks Diane who died? Diane shows Alexis the tablet, and says see for herself. Alexis reads, Joanna, beloved daughter of Neil and Deidre Bern. She says no wonder he didn’t want to talk about his personal life. He lost his daughter.

Lulu tells Chase that Sonny left. She asks what he’s thinking, and he says from the description Dev gave of the intruder, it’s interesting that the guy ran. He could have taken Dev down with no problem. Maybe he didn’t want any violence. Lulu says, it fits the pattern of the break-ins. Chase says between him and Lulu, it seems more than convenient that the kid turned out to be a family friend of Sonny’s. What’s going on? She says she couldn’t tell him even if she wanted to, and walks out of the station.

Josslyn comes back, and Carly hugs her. Josslyn says Carly is freaking out, and Carly says, yes, she is. Josslyn called Sonny from the police station, and has been gone for hours. What’s happening? Josslyn says she’s fine. Dev and Sonny come in, and Carly asks, who is this. Sonny introduces Dev, and says he’ll be staying with them little while.

Tomorrow, Shiloh asks if Alexis takes pleasure in his pain, Nina tells Jax that she has her eyes on the bigger prize, Josslyn asks Dev how he knows Sonny, and Sonny tells Robert it’s time to pay up.

The Real Housewives of New York City

When we last left Bethenny was freaking out, telling LuAnn she was a sicko, and to look in the mirror.

Bethenny says she doesn’t want LuAnn near her. She didn’t know she felt this way. Dorinda tells her she’s having a panic attack, and she says she can’t take it. Ramona thinks she should take a moment. LuAnn says Bethenny has pent up anger, but Ramona says she has pent up emotions. Now Ramona is upset that Bethenny is upset. In Ramona’s interview, she says she can feel Bethenny’s pain. She had an aha moment, thinking maybe she if she had given to Dennis what she gave to LuAnn, he would be alive. Wow. That’s pretty insightful for Ramona.

Dorinda and Barbara tend to Bethenny. Ramona tells LuAnn that they wouldn’t be having this conversation if they didn’t like her. She doesn’t seem to care about them. Bethenny asks if she called LuAnn any names. Dorinda says, she called LuAnn intolerable, and it’s true. Maybe it will help her. In Dorinda’s interview, she says Bethenny did what they’ve all wanted to do. There’s only so many times they can kiss the ring. Cleopatra wasn’t so adored. Tinsley tells LuAnn that they feel like she checked out. In her interview, LuAnn says, the hypocrisy is stunning. Tinsley and Ramona both went out separately from the group. Why is she the only one getting heat? LuAnn says Bethenny doesn’t want to talk to her, so she’s leaving. Dorinda asks if she’ll be up when they get home, but LuAnn says she’s going out.

In her interview, LuAnn says Denio has been texting her to go out, but she knows if she goes out, she’s going to drink. That’s where she is in her mind. Bethenny apologizes, and Ramona says she feels Bethenny’s pain. In Bethenny’s interview, she says it’s not entirely LuAnn’s fault. The irony just hit her. In Dorinda’s interview, she thinks Bethenny doesn’t recognize how much pain she’s in. LuAnn comes back to the table. In her interview, she says she couldn’t leave. She was standing on the curb, thinking she couldn’t throw away all her hard work for them. They’re not going to win. She’s not letting them break her. That’s part of LuAnn’s problem. She doesn’t just think life is a cabaret; she thinks it’s a competition. Bethenny says she’s sorry for screaming. LuAnn doesn’t know what to say. She feels terrible. It started with Barbara, and then Bethenny. She just wanted to talk calmly. Sonja says, let’s do. LuAnn says she’s sorry she’s been wrapped up in herself, and selfishly dealing with a lot. Dennis’s death was a major thing, and she wants Bethenny to know she thought he was a special guy; she liked him a lot. She didn’t want to keep bringing it up. She thought Bethenny had kind of moved on. Bethenny says she only wants LuAnn to be successful. She’s not mad. She was doing her, and bit off more than she could chew, was digesting it slowly, and vomited it all out. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, LuAnn is a mountain of insufferable. Strangers who have approached her are kinder to her. Bethenny tells LuAnn she has to make a change, and she hopes LuAnn really receives this. Sometimes the Band-Aid has to be ripped off. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she’s sorry. She gives up. Take the foot off her head now. Bethenny hugs LuAnn, and she asks if Bethenny is okay. Bethenny says she released it. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, maybe LuAnn will change, but you don’t see many leopards walking around with no spots. Bethenny tells them that she’s embarrassed, and LuAnn says, everyone had dinner and show.

Ramona and LuAnn get home first. By the time the others get there, LuAnn has gone to bed. Sonja says her clock is punched, and asks what they’re doing. Ramona says they’re doing it all. Bethenny says she has to change and pack. In her interview, she says she just wants to go to sleep, wake up, and talk to her daughter as soon as possible. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, everything in Tinsley’s closet is brand new. And not TJ Maxx new; I’m talking Madison Avenue. It’s not adding up. Sonja says trips are great for them. They get tense, but work it out. They decide to have a dance party, and Tinsley gets on the bar. She says she only busts out her super moves when she’s with the girls. Barbara says, it’s good girls gone wild.

Bethenny does some stretches. Dorinda asks if she needs help. Bethenny says, everything’s swell. Dorinda can’t believe how neat she is. Everything in her life is neat. She says Bethenny is brave, but Bethenny says she’s upset with herself. She assassinated LuAnn’s character. Dorinda says LuAnn assassinated her own character, but she doesn’t want to talk about LuAnn. Dorinda says, it was bad, and Bethenny agrees. She starts to cry. In her interview, Dorinda thinks it’s important for Bethenny to accept and acknowledge what happened with Dennis. She thinks if she runs fast enough, they won’t catch her, but they always do. She says Bethenny is highly functional, to the point that it’s bizarre. Bethenny says, it’s unhealthy. She’s going to take some time, and get through the holidays. In Bethenny’s interview, she says it’s been the most challenging year of her life (again challenging meaning biggest pita ever). She needs to put herself back together like Humpty Dumpty.

6:15 am. Bethenny asks what a trip would be without her being the last to arrive and the first to leave? But she always makes her mark during the short time she stays.

Everyone packs. LuAnn does yoga. She says she feels like she was hit by a truck. The instructor says they’ll get the truck off her. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, these are her friends, and this is how they make her feel about herself. She woke up with a knot in her stomach. She loves her life, and isn’t going to let them ruin it. Sonja calls Barbara, saying she can’t find Barbara’s earrings, but she does see a lot of spray tan everywhere in her room. That’s the problem with white houses. Ramona says she’s not going back yet. She’s going to Art Basil at the convention center with some friends. Sonja asks if she’s going out with her new fancy friends. In Ramona’s interview, she says, it’s cold in New York. Why leave Miami? Great people, great parties, great friends. She’s staying. Tinsley says she’s headed to Palm Beach to check in on her mom and her dog. Bambi was diagnosed with lymphoma, and is getting chemo once a week. Her world is crashing. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Miami isn’t seeing her for a while. She’s staying away from Florida for a long time. Dorinda says she’s used to being with these women. It’s like being cellmates.

Back home, Ramona and Sonja go to June Jacobs labs, where Ramona’s skincare line is made. Sonja says they’re like Laverne and Shirley, except they’re selling Ramona’s sh*t.

LuAnn goes to the studio.

Dorinda shows Bethenny her new apartment. Bethenny says she sees no evidence of John. Dorinda says, that’s because there is none. He doesn’t stay there, and neither one of them push it.  Bethenny say she wouldn’t know they were in a relationship, and Dorinda says, it’ll be seven years in March. Bethenny asks where sex happens. Dorinda says he comes over, they have sex, then he goes home. Now that Bethenny thinks of it, she’s never heard him in the background. Dorinda says she’s doing it for the dry-cleaning. She’s lowering the standards. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s gotten used to the luxury of dry-cleaning, and even has her thongs dry-cleaned. Bethenny says, it was rough last night. After her explosion, she was exhausted, but calm. It was an emotional release, and there was a change. In her interview, Bethenny says she doesn’t want negativity with LuAnn. She doesn’t have to get close to the fire anymore. She tells Dorinda that LuAnn has been texting her non-stop, and Barbara was texting her, saying LuAnn is manic about her. Dorinda says she didn’t do anything worse in Cartagena. We flash back to Dorinda telling LuAnn, at least she didn’t get a mug shot. Bethenny thinks Dorinda’s tirade was more rogue and guns blazing. Dorinda says she and LuAnn didn’t speak for eight months, and LuAnn is texting Bethenny two days later. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, Dorinda measures things in a vacuum, and doesn’t see the whole picture. She has to put the whole pie together. Bethenny thinks LuAnn has screwed her more. Dorinda says she doesn’t want a friend who requires her to be an audience. Bethenny says, even at her intervention, LuAnn was the star. She’s punched out.

LuAnn says this will be her fourth dance single, and she’s excited about it. She sings (using the term loosely), one day at a time; keep it cool and we’ll be fine. Feelin’ Jovani, and it feels so good. In her interview, she says when she comes out, people yell, Jovani! She thinks it’s become more of an adjective. It’s a feeling.

Dorinda’s friend Jon (not John) comes over. In her interview, Dorinda says she was a popular aerobics teacher in the 80s, Jon was her biggest competitor. She recently went to a dancercise class he was teaching, and they had a dance off. She thought they might have something, and she wants to bring it back. She wants to recreate an 80s class, involving the LBGTQ community, with the proceeds going to charity. If it goes well, they can do more. Jon says they’re going to restore having a good time. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, 80s aerobics classes were social, colorful, engaging, and fun. She wants to do something with the other women, and not talk about cabaret. She doesn’t want to talk at all, just dance and dress up.

Tinsley weeps. Ramona comes into her apartment, and Tinsley sobs on her shoulder. She says, Bambi wasn’t just a dog. Ramona says Tinsley has to calm down; it’s unhealthy. In Ramona’s interview, she hopes she’s not like this when Coco dies. Through her tears, Tinsley tells Ramona luckily she was there. She gave Bambi three kisses, and when she checked on him later, he was gone. She called 911, and the firetrucks came, but they couldn’t revive him. In Ramona’s interview, she says, this is major. Tinsley had no lashes on, no makeup, not even lip gloss. Wow. She tells Tinsley that she knows it’s hard, but Bambi is in a in better place. Tinsley says Bambi was twelve, and not old for a chihuahua; her last one was seventeen. Sonja joins them, and in her interview, she says she’s never seen anyone this hysterical about a dog, and this is coming from someone who had a dog funeral. We flash back to Sonja scattering her dog’s ashes, and ending up wearing some of them. She thinks Tinsley needs stability, and she’s glad Tinsley has them. Tinsley says if she has a kid, she’s naming it Bambi. Sonja says she should think that through; there’s no rush. In Sonja’s interview, she says Tinsley might want to rethink that. She knew a stripper with the same name. Tinsley says there’s going to be a viewing tomorrow, and explains how the dog is put in the freezer, and somehow thawed out for the final goodbye. She says, it’s nice closure. In her interview, Ramona wonders, who wants to hug a dethawed [sic] dog? Sonja doesn’t want her to be alone. She knows Tinsley doesn’t have Scott now. Tinsley says Scott was sweet and sent her a pair of shoes. She shows them a pair of Bambi shimmer sneakers, which are pretty cute. In Sonja’s interview, she says, it’s just another gift; not a bereavement gift for someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. I dunno about that. It seems like something he put some thought into actually. Tinsley says she doesn’t want to go to the aerobics class.

A small digression, but still relevant. I love my dogs more than anything. I love all dogs more than anything, but dog viewings are weird. When my father passed away, my in-laws took his dog, who retired along with them in upstate New York, and lived to a ripe old sixteen. A friend of mine had an animal cemetery plot – in the same animal cemetery where Richard Nixon’s Checkers is buried – and since you can bury more than one pet in a plot, she offered me the space for Fairfax. The ground was frozen when Fairfax passed, so Fairfax had to stay frozen a while too. When it came time for the funeral, they had a literal viewing first. I did not know what to do or think, and the people who worked there seemed straight out of the Addams family, and freaked me out a little. Anyway, it’s like a human wake, except in a smaller room. I loved Fairfax with all my heart, but it took everything in me not to laugh. Then, we trooped to the gravesite, Fairfax ahead, in a container in a wheelbarrow. My friend was with us as well, and at this point, I started thinking of the musical Oliver! when Oliver gets a job walking in funeral processions, and imagined us all wearing tall hats. I wanted the ground to swallow me up, since I could barely contain myself. So while my eyes were tearing as Tinsley sobbed, I couldn’t help but think about this solemn, yet humorous occasion. Okay. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

LuAnn visits Ramona. She asks how Ramona’s dating life is. Ramona says, it’s weird; nothing sticks. LuAnn says the older they get, the pickier they get. They know what they want. Ramona says she went to a dinner party, and liked a guy, but… LuAnn says, there has to be that chemical thing. I think she means chemistry. Ramona says she had it with Mario, and LuAnn asks how she feels about him. She says they went to dinner, and he was melancholy, saying he messed things up and misses his family. LuAnn asks if she’s thinking of going back. Ramona wishes she could, but too much has happened. They’re different people.  In Ramona’s interview, she says she doesn’t think they’ll ever get back together, but what they had was special. It’s good to be on nice terms. Ramona asks if LuAnn has spoken to Bethenny, and LuAnn says they’ve been texting. LuAnn feels like she was the punching bag for a trauma that happened. She’s trying not to take it personally, but it hurt. Ramona says it took gumption and guts to come back to the table. She couldn’t believe LuAnn did it. LuAnn says she knew if she went out, she would drink. In her interview, she says the women don’t respect her sobriety. She’s on probation, and has to use a breathalyzer three times a day. We see a clip of her demonstrating, and Dorinda asking what happens if you don’t pass. LuAnn says, they come and get you, and lock you up. That’s the reality of her life. Ramona says she doesn’t want to beat LuAnn up, but Bethenny was trying to point out that sometimes she seems self-absorbed. If she can, try to work on it. LuAnn doesn’t disagree, and says she owns it. Having said that, LuAnn moves on to the topic of her cabaret, telling Ramona that she’s gotten them seats at her Christmas show. It’s sold out. Ramona says they support and love her, but they don’t want to go again. They want something more social, so she’s throwing a surprise party for Sonja and Dorinda the same night. LuAnn can come afterward. LuAnn asks why she would do it on the same night, and Ramona says there wasn’t another one. LuAnn says she could do it any night. In her interview, Ramona says there was a group text where they decided they’d rather do something else. She tells LuAnn that they love her, but they don’t want to see a show they’ve seen a few times. LuAnn says it’s a Christmas show, and different from her other shows. In LuAnn’s interview, she says it’s disappointing to find they don’t want to support her. It’s like your parents not coming to your school play. No it’s not. Grow up.

Dorinda arrives in 80s gear, her hair crimped, wearing the obligatory leg warmers. In her interview, she says now she doesn’t want to do it. She realized she’s not in as good of shape as she was in the 80s. She wore these one-piece things back then, but left her body there. Ramona is dressed 80s Kathy Smith style, nothing too outrageous, but the required headband and leg warmers. She explains that Tinsley isn’t coming. She tells the women about Tinsley meeting her without lashes, and talks about the frozen dog thing. Life isn’t going the way Tinsley wants it. Dorinda says, she’s spending money like someone who doesn’t make it. In her interview, she says when you date a rich guy, your lifestyle is upgraded, but when it’s over, you have to come back down. That’s not happening in Tinsley’s case. Doesn’t her mother have money though? Ramona tells her about the sneakers, and says Tinsley is still in communication with Scott and not talking about the break-up. In Ramona’s interview, she says, if it smells like a fish, it’s a fish. Sonja says she left her 80s body in the 80s. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she used to teach aerobics to the nurses in the rest home where she worked. In Bethenny’s interview, she thought it would be cheesy and lame, and no one would do it, but says she couldn’t have been more mistaken.

Bethenny tells the women that she wants to have a S’mores and Whores party, where she’ll have a surprise for everyone. She thanks LuAnn for the jacket, saying she thought she bought something in her sleep. (Ha-ha! I sent someone a Christmas gift directly from Wayfair last year and forgot to tell them. They thought they ordered something they forgot about.) In Bethenny’s interview, she says LuAnn got her and Barbara cute, fuzzy jackets. She thinks it was just customer appreciation day. Dorinda says Bethenny destroys LuAnn at dinner and gets a gift, while she argues with LuAnn and gets crucified. LuAnn says she did it for her own reasons, and it has nothing to do with that. Dorinda says LuAnn was hysterical. We all go, huh? and LuAnn says she was calm. Barbara points out that it was Bethenny who was hysterical.  Dorinda walks away. In her interview, she says no matter what Bethenny does, LuAnn doesn’t hold a grudge, but for the rest of them, it’s different. Dorinda starts the class.

It’s no Crunch Fitness, but everybody has a great time. In her interview, Bethenny says Dorinda should do this for real. She’s great, and gets everyone excited. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, what happened in the 80s should stay in the 80s. Dorinda thinks it was a success, and Bethenny makes a juice toast to the best class ever. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, watch out, LuAnn. She might be all aerobics next year. LuAnn might have the Jovani, but she has the thong leotard. She might take this on the road. Ramona tells Barbara about the party, but says she knows Barbara is going to LuAnn’s show. In Barbara’s interview, she says, Ramona knows LuAnn’s show is the same night as her party. I know you’re not going to make it, so here’s your invite. Thanks for nothing, Ramona. Barbara tells Sonja she doesn’t think it’s being supportive of one another. In Sonja’s interview, she says they’ve been to LuAnn’s cabaret over and over, but it’s not nice to have an event at the same time. Only Ramona would do something like that. I agree, and even though I’m tired of LuAnn saying/feeling/talking about cabaret, I think Ramona totally did it on purpose and it’s beyond shady.

Sonja tells Ramona that she’s being sneaky, and she doesn’t understand why they have to be there at eight sharp. Why can’t they do it at nine? Ramona says the party is for her, so she’s coming. Dorinda doesn’t know yet, so don’t tell her. Ramona turns to Barbara and says, thanks for blowing it. Um… you blew it yourself. Sonja knew there was a party already, and Ramona is the one who just blew the surprise. What a creep she is. LuAnn tells Bethenny, if they don’t want to come, that’s one thing, but to throw a party at the same time is declassee. Bethenny agrees.

In Bethenny’s interview, she says she told Ramona that she didn’t think it was a good idea. It’s a blatant F-U to LuAnn. Bethenny suggests getting to LuAnn’s show early, giving support, and then getting together afterwards. Sonja says they can do both, and LuAnn tells them to come at seven. Everybody wins. Yeah, for a minute, until there’s a problem.

Next time – the finale – Christmas has arrived, the surprise party, Dorinda doesn’t like to be played, Ramona accuses Tinsley of still being with Scott, and Bethenny has a near-fatal allergic reaction. Not. Bethenny’s. Year.

🍵 A Whole Pot of Tea…

A cornucopia of Wives’ news.

https://pagesix.com/video/bethenny-frankel-blows-up-at-luann-and-more-housewives-news-of-the-week/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190615&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8040366-711673032

I’ve never been Jill’s biggest fan, but my heart went out to her when she lost Bobby. I’m glad to see she decided life goes on.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/19/jill-zarins-boyfriend-spotted-ordering-an-engagement-ring/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190620&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8052871-711673032

I really liked Erika, but I like her less and less as time goes on. There’s a difference between body positivity and being deliberately provocative. While I’m far from a prude, it just seems like there’s something wrong with someone who has to put their butt crack in your face online. Another problem I have with it, is that young woman who aren’t so fortunate to look like Erika, will only compare themselves. Body positivity is when we see a fat chick in a bikini, not when we see someone who’s been pampered and poofed within an inch of their life, posing nicely while nakey.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1051047/erika-jayne-claps-back-at-critics-after-posting-nsfw-business-casual-pic?source=email&medium=emn-content-6&cmpid=evening&content=emn-news

Tinsley will survive. If they don’t hang onto Barbara and Tinsley, the show might lose it’s balance, and turn into RHOBH.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/15/tinsley-mortimer-is-in-survival-mode-to-stay-on-rhony/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190617&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8043092-711673032

Speaking of Beverly Hills, It’s certainly been a year of ups and downs for LVP. RHOBH slowly sliding off my radar.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/06/lisa-vanderpumps-brothers-suicide-caused-her-to-quit-rhobh/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

Like we didn’t see Teresa distancing herself from the jump. Cutting him out of Father’s Day is pretty harsh though.

https://radaronline.com/photos/teresa-giudice-snubs-husband-joe-fathers-day/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

I’m not crazy about either one of them, but I’d still take Shannon over Jim Baloney-o.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/06/rhoc-shannon-beador-awarded-138k-jim-bellino-lawsuit/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

Vicki called it years ago. I haven’t always liked Meghan, but I think she’s an inherently decent human. I hope she dumps Jim’s sorry ass. I never liked him.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/06/meghan-king-edmonds-husband-admits-mistake-cheating-scandal/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/14/meghan-king-edmonds-on-husbands-affair-i-dont-trust-him-anymore/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190615&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8040366-711673032

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/06/kelly-dodd-slams-meghan-after-ex-rhoc-co-star-confesses-her-husband-cheated/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🌞 As If the Longest Day Wasn’t Enough…

Enjoy your Summer Solstice!

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