Monthly Archives: January 2020

January 30, 2020 – GH Catch Up, Sheer Runway, Beyond Plus, Adios Amiga, For Laughs & Billy’s January


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

It looks like ABC will have caught up to me tomorrow. FYI, they are showing new episodes on their site ( and on their app after 8 pm EST. The shows will also be aired on HULU and On Demand the following day. Why not at 8 pm? Who knows?

In case you’re not caught up, and just want to read all about it, here are the links to the transcripts recaps for the past two episodes not aired on regular TV. They’re in order – i.e. the oldest is first.

👗 Project Runway

This week’s challenge was to create an editorial look using sheer fabric; editorial meaning it told a story. Brandon told the designers there was nothing more important than making a woman feel good, and they were to celebrate the female form using a provocative trend; a barely there editorial look. He emphasized that it wasn’t about exposing a woman, but about getting creative in a sexy, but not obvious, way. Since last week’s winner was Brittany, she got first pick of the models. Nancy chose the same model, wanting to redeem herself from having swallowed the model with fabric the previous week. It was a one-day challenge, and they were to work with the models during sketch time, to make sure they were comfortable and confident with the designs. It would also be the last challenge where immunity was given. The designers were cautioned that the finishing had to be spot-on because everything would be shown with a sheer fabric. A medic had to be called early on for Dayoung, who still wasn’t well. She said her mind was saying keep going, but her body said she’d done enough. She decided she was a human before being a designer, and chose to leave the competition, saying it was the most difficult decision she’d made in her life. She was grateful for everyone who’d helped her, and told us that her story wasn’t done. She’d be designing up until her last day.

Because Dayoung left, Marquise got a save, and came back to the competition. He said it would be his revenge moment, when he proved why the judges shouldn’t have sent him home. The contestants were given $300 and 30 minutes at Mood. Victoria mulled over disappointing herself last week, and got pouty in the store, claiming she didn’t understand what sheer meant, even though Christian explained it to her. The designers started working, and Christian interrupted, asking, who’s ready for a twist? striking fear in their hearts. But there was no twist. He said he wasn’t that evil, just a little. As he walked around giving encouragement and advice, he told Victoria that she couldn’t keep doing the same dress over and over. She insisted what she was designing was different (it wasn’t), and acted like a big baby. Sergio said it was a tough competition, and sometimes made you question who you are as a designer and person. Victoria again insisted she didn’t understand sheer, and walked out, Brittany following. Victoria told her that it was better to leave than be on the bottom, and grabbed her bag, ready to jet, basically wanting to quit before she was fired. Brittany was pissed because there were talented people who had been eliminated, and Victoria was trashing her opportunity. She told Victoria that they still had four hours, but Queen Victoria said she was tired. As she reclined on a chaise lounge with her water bottle, Chelsey promised her that they were all tired. Personally, I wanted to kick her ass. She decided to stay for her husband, who had always been super supportive. It’s probably easier than listening to her complain.

Paloma Elsesser, an extremely accomplished plus-size model, was guest judge. Victoria whined that she didn’t want to look at her own design, saying there was nothing of her aesthetic in it, and she was embarrassed. It wasn’t horrible – a yellow asymmetrical (no surprise) number using a lot of lace – but it wasn’t sheer either. Christian remarked that it was the worst fabric ever. Karlie said, overall, it was clear it was a one-day challenge.

Brittany and Delvin were deemed safe, and I was surprised neither one was in the top. Although I guess it’s getting to be a pretty small pool. Brittany had designed the cutest pink romper with humongous puffy sleeves, and Delvin concocted a black crop top and maxi skirt ensemble. The top was unmemorable, but I thought the skirt was fantastic, kind of prairie style. Rather than just being grateful they were still in the game, they both seemed annoyed, and exchanged a lot of commentary backstage during the critiques.

Having scrapped her original design of a blue baby doll dress, Chelsey had designed a long, fitted, trench coat style jacket. This might have been okay, but she chose to hang on to sleeves that hadn’t matched the baby doll dress either; a series of horizontal loops, held together by a vertical strip running down the outside of the arm. Frankly, they didn’t look like they’d match with much of anything, they were just plain odd. Nina asked why she’d used a nude slip underneath, rather than matching the blue, and Brandon remarked that he kept waiting for a nip slip from the demi-bra on top. Elaine said the fabric choice was just wrong; there was no fluidity. So, it was in the bottom three for Chelsey.

On the opposite end, Nancy designed a prom dress for her model who had never been to prom, black and silver, with a dramatic stole/collar that exposed one shoulder. Nancy said it was also zero waste, which impressed the judges. Nina thought the shoulder drama was everything, and Elaine liked the glamour – it was taking her someplace she wanted to be. Karlie remarked that she loved a pocket in a ball gown, and I said, me too! I think there should be a law requiring at least one pocket in all garments. Marquise also designed a stunning black and silver gown, taking it a step further by making a matching, but more low-key, T-shirt for himself with the extra fabric. Brandon said he loved a comeback story.

Joining Chelsey in the bottom were Geoffrey and Victoria. While it was no surprise about Victoria, I’d liked Geoffrey’s dress, a sheer blue above-the-knee creation, with a black and white trim at the waist, collar, and cuffs. The judges were in agreement that it was too sheer at the bust (the model was fine with that, and had fleshtone nipple covers). They also felt that the cinched waist was too much. When they got to Victoria, she blamed her bad English and started crying, saying she was ashamed she’d done so poorly. Paloma suggested she put her big girl panties on, and Nina said she didn’t want any more excuses. My thoughts exactly. Nina told her to find the lesson in a difficulty. It’s when she should look deep within herself, and find her inner strength to accomplish her dream. They’d all had failures, but you don’t quit. Brandon told her that sh*t days were when you found out what you were made of.

Rounding out the top three was Sergio, who’d designed a gorgeous sleeveless gown – another in black and silver – with fringe adornments. His inspiration was his model and her husband, German and Chinese respectively, and a story about them meeting in the rain. Nina said the fringe was so strategically placed, you couldn’t even tell the model was naked underneath. Paloma said it was a dress that all of the models could have worn.

While the designers went backstage, the judges deliberated, Elaine saying that Nancy had already proven her chops as a technical designer, and had now added a cool (i.e. relevant) factor. Sergio’s tailoring was also praised, and Nina said his piece was highly editorial. Paloma said Victoria’s sob story left a bad taste in her mouth; the humility was lacking. She hit the nail on the head with that comment. Nina said she was scared Chelsey’s model was going to lose her underpinnings, and everyone agreed. Backstage, Nancy thought none of them were going home, and Christian would use a save.

When the designers came back out, Karlie reiterated the challenge was about creating an editorial look that celebrated the female form, and embraced sheer fabric. Sergio was the big winner, and the last one who will get immunity. Moving on to the bottom three, Geoffrey was deemed safe. The consensus was that Chelsey had made poor design choices, and there were flaws in Victoria’s construction and attitude (ouch!). Chelsey was out, surprising me, and pissing me off. Elaine told Victoria that she was safe today, but she needed to save herself. Brandon said it was like two women they love both had a bad day, and they had to pick the worst of two evils. He told Chelsey that it didn’t take away from her talent. She thanked them for the opportunity, got a hug from Karlie, and told her compadres, it’s not a cryfest. When Christian came to gather her, he said everyone is so good at this point, it’s hard to judge. In her interview, Chelsey said she wasn’t 150% proud of what she’d done, but was surprised she was going home. Again, me too. She wasn’t mad that she fell short, and was leaving with her head held high. She believed the women in her family would be proud, and she was a shining example of a strong Black woman. She planned to do what she does best; make everyday clothes for not so everyday people.

Next time, the designers are challenged to reinvent the tux. Sebastian (last season’s winner), and Alan (too cool for school, and voted out this season) pay the designers a visit.

💋 She’s Got It Goin’ On…

Meet Paloma, model extraordinaire.

🍊 I’m Shocked, Pleased, and Slightly Annoyed…

Shocked because she brought on the drama; pleased because I can’t stand her; and slightly annoyed because the reason might be ageism. If they’re judging by her character though, I’m 100% behind it. Bye, Felicia.

🍸 And Now For Some Snark…

I love the Betches’ Vanderpump Rules recap.

📌 Saving It Up…

I’ll finish the tea party tomorrow, hopefully, with a new episode of GH. Until then.

January 29, 2020 – The Scoop On GH, Jennifer Is a Jerk, New Same Old House, Another Ripple, Another Loss, Handsy Jax, Don’t Do It, I’m With Beau, a Reprieve, It’s Coming & the Drug Is Love


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Here’s what I got. Supposedly, ABC is letting the new episodes loose now. I checked their site, and it’s showing the episode with the shootouts, so I’m ahead by two. When this airs on real TV, I’m not sure, but if the site has them, On Demand should have them too. On Demand has been akin to the devil during this blackout, listing an episode as new, when it’s a random rerun. Merry Christmas, Shiloh! Anyway, I’ll keep my eye out for news, and recap again as soon as they’ve caught up to me.

What ABC says:

What Soaps In Depth said:

About Brando (and it sounds like a good theory):

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

When we last left, Jennifer had tossed a fork and plate at Melissa in a restaurant because she has absolutely no manners whatsoever. She said, blah-blah-blah, don’t talk about my kids, when no one was talking about them. She’s one of those people who likes to change the narrative to suit themselves, and it’s working my last nerve. Apparently, Melissa’s was also being worked, since she said she wanted to pop Jennifer one. Jennifer left, staring daggers at Melissa the whole way to the car, and since we’re in middle school, Teresa and Dolores went with her. Marge wondered why Teresa always leaves with the uninjured party, which is a good question. The topic of Jackie not eating was addressed, and Jackie explained that people don’t understand about how difficult it is getting past an eating disorder. We saw a clip of her watching a video of her younger, overweight self with her father, and he said, it was almost worth it. While I’m sure he didn’t mean it in a malicious way, that’s really an awful thing to say. She told Marge and Melissa about eating only apples and canned tuna during a trip to Mexico with her husband, and putting herself into treatment when they got back.

In the car, Jennifer claimed she didn’t want people criticizing Jackie, when she seems to be the only one doing that. As soon as they got back to the house, she started making noises about leaving, and of course the other Musketeers, Dolores and Teresa, said they’d go too; Teresa saying, since they all came together, they would leave together. When Jennifer told Jackie that she’d be leaving, in Jackie’s interview, she suggested Jennifer take her kooky tequila-ass self and walk back to NJ. I couldn’t have agreed more. Melissa asked Teresa to stay, and Jackie wondered if she was back in high school. (Thank you.) Teresa decided she didn’t want to choose friends over family, and in a rare move, did the right thing and stayed. Jackie said she’d wanted the weekend to heal wounds, but it was worse than ever.

The guys also got together over the weekend – Joes #2 and #3, and Frank Sr. – for drinks. It wasn’t lost on me how when the men get together, the atmosphere is the opposite of the women getting together. The guys always encourage each other, and have a lot of laughs. If there are any altercations, they’re solved in ten seconds with a beer. They have so much more fun than the women do, and no one throws anything. Well, maybe a football. In the Hamptons, the remaining women – Jackie, Marge, Melissa, and Teresa – went out to dinner to a restaurant on the water (gorgeous!), and somehow it was uneventful. Probably because Jennifer had taken her tequila-ass self home.

Back in New Jersey, Melissa told Joe #2 that Jennifer got gangster on her, and asked why crazy people intrigue Teresa. Joe said Teresa was going through something, and they give her attention. Despite her legal/financial troubles, Marge was celebrating 20 years in business, and invited Marge Sr. for a visit. She said she worried about Marge Sr. more than Marge Sr. worried about her, and now that Marge Sr. was in Manhattan, she felt like a kid again, who didn’t want her mom to go to work and leave her alone.

Teresa met Joe #2 for drinks and apps, and told him about Not-So-Juicy Joe saying no one would want her, since she had so much baggage. Joe #1 said Not-So-Juicy was just trying to mess with her head. On the way to taking the girls to see their dad, Teresa realized she’d forgotten her wallet, and they had no ID. The problem was, they were already an hour and a half into the trip, and had to be there at a certain time. To be continued…

🤽🏼‍♀️ Tonight, Bravo aired a half hour of a Summer House retrospective/sneak peek of the new season. The best blast from the past was Amanda saying Kyle was like one of those little dogs humping your leg. You just want to kick him off. And then getting engaged to him. As for the future, from what Kyle told us, we should expect them to act like family – drunk, obnoxious, and dysfunctional, but in a loving way. While I think all families are dysfunctional to a degree because they involve people, he’s not describing my family. Although it might explain why he’s the way he is. There will be a few new faces, and the good news or bad news, depending on how you feel about the show, is that the people are all still awful.

🏀 A Sad Six Degrees…

That crash was far reaching, and a lesson in how temporary our life here is.

💔 Another Farewell…

Bidding adieu to a grande dame of the soap world.

🍹 Hunk Being a Matter Of Perspective…

And how did Lance Bass get involved?

🍾 Brittany Continues To Get Jaxxed…

Watch What Happens Live viewers gave their marriage six years, but how do we know she doesn’t just want to torture him for life?

🍜 It’s Not About the Pasta Either…

For the record, I’m on Beau’s side. Tom seemed cool early on, but he’s kind of a d*ck.

👠 The Queen Of Second Chances…

I doubt there’s much LVP doesn’t have the power to do, but she does tend to give many do-overs.

🐲 If We’re Still Here In 2022…

And maybe old George will have those books finished by then.

💋 Because It’s Almost Valentine’s Day…

Okay, it’s not that close, but this never gets old. They’re like Riff Raff and Magenta 2.0, and Oscar Isaac is yummy.

January 28, 2020 – Nothing New On GH, Candace Hunts For Benny, a Tacky Bachelorette Mess & Piano Finish


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Nothing new on ABC, and nothing new anywhere else since the episode I posted yesterday. Today, ABC had another rerun, instead of the promised airing of said episode. How much longer will this circus continue? At least we found out what happened after the shootout(s).

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace goes back to club looking for Mitch, but a guy says not there and she should go. She asks, why the hostility? and he says they have a certain type of clientele. They might give her a hard time. She says, because she’s Black, but he says, it’s a family establishment. She says, right, and asks if he knows where Mitch is. He says he doesn’t, and she asks if he can call. He says it’s the least he can do, and tells her, don’t be offended. She says she knows his family is racist; she gets it just. He calls, but gets no answer. He tells her that he knows what she did for the family, bringing War to them. It goes a long way, and she’s welcome there any time. If she’s got problems, he’s got solutions. He adds that she’s beautiful, and his phone rings. It’s Mitch, who wants him to come to the Lazy V; they need muscle. The guy tells Candace, and says Mitch told him to bring her. Muscle is code for a man in trouble. They have to move. He walks out with Candace and a few other guys.

There’s a knock at Veronica’s door. It’s Derrick, who gives her a paper. It’s the name of her thug’s girlfriend; she just got arrested for aggravated assault. Veronica says, Quita Maxwell. She knows that rat. Derrick says he bets she knows a lot of rats, and she says she’s looking at one. He asks if Veronica can get her out or not, and she says she can get anyone out. He says, then do it. If she does, her thug won’t testify against her. She says Derrick is worried about her dragging him into it, but he says he didn’t do anything. She says she’s got cameras that say differently. He came to her house and threatened her. Derrick says she wouldn’t dare, but she says she’s known to do a few things. He says she’s going to get what’s coming to her, and it’s going to come hard and quick. She asks if he’s on for it, and he says he wouldn’t touch her to save his life. She says she’ll remember that, and he says he will too. He leaves, and she says she’s got to go get dressed to do hood-rat sh*t.

David and Jeffrey find Madison at the hospital. David asks where Jim is, and Madison says, in surgery. David asks how Jim is doing, and Madison thinks he’s okay, but tells David, the doctor will know more. They can find him in the OR. David tells Jeffrey to stay, and Madison asks if it’s been a long night. Jeffrey says he has no idea, and Madison says Jeffrey looks stressed. Jeffrey says he just wants the night over; he’s all over place. His mother sent thugs to come after him and his dad. Madison asks Jeffrey to come with him, and they go into another room.

Charles greets Senator Connelly West, and asks if he wants a drink. Connolly says he’s on the wagon. He doesn’t have a problem, but his wife Margaret is after him to lose a few pounds. However, he’ll have just one. Charles promises not to tell. He asks how Margaret is, and Connelly says she’s in Martha’s Vineyard. Charles says when she’s spending time there, it means they’re not doing well, but Connelly says they’ve been married 25 years; they’re always doing fine. He toasts to the President Elect, and asks if Charles is ready for the White House. Charles asks if anyone has ever been ready, and Connelly says he’s been through six administrations. Here’s to lucky seven. They clink glasses, and Charles asks, what brings Connelly by? Connelly says he just wanted to check on Charles, but Charles doesn’t buy it, and asks if it has anything to do with talking to a certain Senator about being Secretary of State. Connelly says he came to talk to Charles about the young lady. All he has to say is, that was close. It could have cost Charles everything. Charles says he’s aware, and Connelly says, the whispers on the Senate floor could be shouts. Charles says, it’s under control, and asks if Connelly wants to join him for a late dinner. Connelly says, it would be nice to catch up.

Benny wakes up tied up in a basement, and wonders where he is. He starts yelling for help. A guy sits in front of him and takes out a gun. He tells Benny that nobody can hear him. Benny asks, what’s going on? and the guy says Benny’s sister owes Jim money. Benny says he has nothing to do with that; let him out. The guy says, as soon as Jim gets his money back. He says Benny is the only thing Candace cares about, and suggests Benny give her a call. Benny says, the dude is dead; there ain’t no Jim. Doesn’t he watch TV? Three people were shot at the house. The guy says then he did all this for nothing, and Benny says, let him out. The guy says he’ll find out if Jim is dead or not, and goes back upstairs. Benny yells after him.

Jim lies on an operating table, and the nurse says, it doesn’t look good. His blood pressure is dropping. The doctor uses the defibrillator on Jim five or six times, and yells, come on, Jim! Dammit!

Celine sees David, and asks how Jim is, but David says he doesn’t know. He asks what Celine is doing there, and she says she works there; she just got off. Does he know anything? Does he know who shot Jim? Just tell her. He says he’s trying to find out, and she says she has to do something. Jim stopped paying child support; it was probably David’s idea. She knows how they work. David says he doesn’t know why Jim does a lot of things, and Celine says Jim lives in a mansion, while she’s struggling with his two sons. He’s a son of a bitch. She asks who shot him, but David insists he doesn’t know. It’s a very tragic time. He tells her, just go home; he’ll give her a call. She says he knows who did it, and he says, they’re saying it’s Wyatt. She laughs, and says, the one son Jim has given everything too. David says, it’s not funny, and she says, it’s poetic though. He’s sure she’s tired, and she says he doesn’t know anything about her. She is tired. She’s tired of Jim and the situation. He says it’s not the appropriate place, but she thinks it’s more than appropriate. He says he’ll call her, but she says she doesn’t trust him. She’s staying. I don’t know if it’s significant, but David’s back is obviously still hurting him, and Celine takes notice.

In an examining room, Madison hands Jeffrey some pills in a cup and water. Jeffrey asks if Madison is supposed to give it to him, and Madison says it’s his; just take it. It will help with his anxiety. Jeffrey takes the medication, and asks how Madison is. He sees Madison is working the graveyard shift. Madison says when he came back after working for Jeffrey’s dad, that’s what was available. Jeffrey says he feels like he’s the cause of a lot of people’s drama. Madison asks if Jeffrey is doing that now; feeling sorry for himself. He has a lot to be thankful for. Jeffrey thanks Madison for counting his blessings for him. He has a hard time doing that. He suddenly says, wow. He’s feeling relaxed. Madison tells him not to drink any alcohol. Geez, that’s fast-acting medication. Jeffrey asks if Madison can get him some more, and Madison says, on a needed basis. Jeffrey says he’s going to leave before his stalker sees him, but Madison says Justin checked out, and stalker is putting it lightly. Jeffrey says, call him crazy for letting it happen, but it’s over. Madison asks if it’s over for Jeffrey. He likes the drama. Jeffrey says he was trying to help, but Madison tells him, no normal guy would take that chance. He loves the drama. Jeffrey says Madison is killing his buzz, and Madison says he’ll let it go.

A guard leads Kathryn to a cell. She says she needs to check on her husband, but he says there’s nothing he can do. He stops at an open cell door, and she asks, what’s going on? Is she supposed to just sit there? Where’s the bathroom? He says, in the corner, and she says, in the open? looking at the lone toilet. She says she’s not going there, and he asks where she thinks she is. She says, it’s who she knows she is, and he tells her, get in the cell or he’ll put her in there. She says she’d like to see him try it, and he calls for some help. A female guard joins him, and asks if Kathryn wants to make this difficult. Kathryn says, her whole life has been difficult, and the guard says, sure. Her life in the mansion. She says Kathryn is being belligerent, but Kathryn says she’s protesting. She refuses to be put in a cage with an open bathroom. It’s inhumane. The female guard asks if she knows where she is, and Kathryn says the other one already asked. She wants another cell. They grab her, and she struggles, getting tased for her trouble. Kathryn says the guard shocked her, and he says he’ll do it again. Get up, and get in the cell. What’s really weird is, not one other prisoner reacts in any way, which is unrealistic. I’m surprised. Victoria comes toward them, and laughs. She says, that’s hysterical. The guard tells her, stay back, but she says she’s there for a client. Kathryn asks if Veronica it there to see her, but Veronica says she doesn’t know Kathryn. But if Veronica was her, she’d get up and get in the cell. Kathryn says, go to hell, but gets in the cell. Veronica says she’s looking for Quita Maxwell, and the guards leave.

She asks why Kathryn is there, and Kathryn says, for what Veronica did; shooting Jennifer. Veronica says, everyone knows it wasn’t her. Kathryn went for the chest; she would have gone for the face. Kathryn says, leave her alone, and Veronica says, if she does, she can’t help. Kathryn says, George had her arrested, and Wyatt shot at her. Veronica says she told Kathryn to get that boy in line, and Kathryn asks if Jeffrey is under control. She’s forgetting about Jeffrey knifing her. She’s not mother of the year. Veronica hopes Jim is doing as well as Kathryn is; sorry not sorry. Kathryn asks if Veronica is going to help her or not, and Veronica says, she’ll think about it… No. She doesn’t like Kathryn anymore, so no. Kathryn says Veronica needs her, but Veronica says she doesn’t. Kathryn is a goner. She’s in there now, and Veronica could testify against her. Kathryn says she’s Veronica’s client; she can’t. Veronica says, watch her. If she feels like her life is threatened, she’ll throw herself on the mercy of the court, telling them she feels her life is in danger. Kathryn says, you know how much I have on you, bitch, and Veronica says, you know how smart I am, bitch. Kathryn says, go to hell, and Veronica says it looks like Kathryn is already there. Enjoy her stay. Too bad there’s no hair stylist. She tells Kathryn, see her around, and walks away, laughing. Kathryn says, at least it’s her hair; not a wig, or weave, or some mop from the sink.

At dinner, Connelly tells Charles, he’s no longer a private citizen, and Charles asks if he wants to talk about becoming Secretary of State. Connelly says he was just checking on Charles, but Charles says, cut the crap. Connelly says, he’s known Charles since he was Charles’s age, and knows him well. Charles says he’s kept a lot of secrets, and Connelly tells him, the Candace thing was wrong. Charles has spent his life doing the right thing. Charles says, trying to, but Connelly says Charles is a good guy. He tries to be badass, but he’s a good guy. Charles asks if he’s going somewhere with this, and Connelly asks if Charles remembers a Deborah somebody or other. Charles says, the one whose married to…? and Connelly says, don’t say the name. Has Charles ever seen their middle child? Charles says he hasn’t paid much attention, and Connelly shows Charles his phone. Charles says, cute kid, and Connelly says, thank you. That’s his son. No one knows, and the only reason he’s telling Charles is because politics, the life with a spotlight up your ass, is extremely stressful. You need a safe place to lay your head. Charles says he’s aware of that, and Connelly says he’s telling Charles because he loves Deborah and she loves him. The secret of their relationship working is that it remains a secret. They trust each other. It brings excitement into his life again, and he doesn’t think he could go on with the job if didn’t have those times. She gives him that, and Charles deserves that. Charles asks if Connelly is saying he should have a baby with his mistress, and Connelly says, have fun. He deserves it. Don’t let this prison kill him. it’s not what he does that matters as much as how he does it. Charles asks if Connelly is saying he should see Candace, but Connelly says, hell no. That’s the last thing he’s saying. That girl is trouble. Charles needs to get in bed with people who have as much to lose as he does. Charles wonders if Connelly is suggesting a Prime Minster or President, but Connelly says, no. Has he seen some of them? For the position Charles is in, he’s looking too low.

At the Lazy V, Mitch tells the manager he’s going to ask one more time; where is he? The manager says they’re closing, and Mitch says, she knows, moving toward the stripper who gave Benny a lap dance. The manager blocks him, but he says he’s not leaving until someone tells him where Benny is. The manager says he has two guys over there who will take Mitch out, but Mitch says he’ll have his grandmother all over there. The manager starts laughing until Mitch says, Rose Malone. Where’s his boy at? The manager insists he doesn’t know. Candace and Mitch’s guys come in, and Mitch says, these clowns took Benny somewhere. This broad took Benny into the back room, and now he’s gone. Candace asks the stripper where her brother is, but she says she doesn’t know what Candace is talking about. Candace says she’s trying to turn over a new leaf. Where is he? The stripper repeats that she doesn’t know, and Candace punches her in the face. Mitch tells everyone, don’t move, and the girl punches back. Candace is all over her immediately, fighting dirty and punching the crap out of her. Candace breaks a bottle, and puts it at the girl’s throat, asking, where’s her brother? The stripper says some guys came in and gave her $1000 to take him in the back. Candace asks who they were, but the girl says she doesn’t know. The manager confirms that she doesn’t. He doesn’t know them either. All he knows is, they drove a green truck. He has their license plate on video. Mitch tells him to get it, and don’t make them come back. Candace tells Mitch that she hates it when a bitch hits back. Mitch’s main guy says he likes her; she’s impressive. He couldn’t do that.

Hanna tries calling Benny, but gets voicemail. She leaves a message that she’s been calling all night, and to please call. As soon as she hangs up, her phone rings, and she says, Benny? It’s Marty, and Hanna says she was calling him for Kathryn. He asks, what’s going on? and she says he hasn’t heard? Wyatt shot at Kathryn, and shot Jim. He asks if they’re okay, and Hanna says, yeah. He says he’ll go see what he can do for Wyatt, but Hanna says, no. Kathryn was arrested for murdering Jennifer, and was taken to county. He says he’s on his way, and Hanna asks if he wants her to meet him there. He says there’s nothing she can do tonight; come in the morning. He says he’ll call her, and another call comes in. She thanks him, and switches over, saying, Benny? This time, it’s Derrick, who tells her not to get scared or hang up. He spoke to Candace, and she wants to meet. He’d like her blessing. Hanna says, don’t call her, and hangs up.

At county reception, Quita comes out, and says, what the hell? Veronica asks if that’s any way to greet her? She got Quita out. Quita asks, why? and Veronica says, because Quita’s baby daddy wanted her to. She needs Quita to write a note letting him know that she’s the one who got her out. Quita says she’s not writing anything, and Veronica says she’ll go back in. Quita says she ain’t forgot Veronica hit her; she ain’t writing no note. Veronica asks if Quita can’t write, and Quita wonders why Veronica wants a note. She says, Veronica is scared he’s going to give her up. Why would she be getting Quita out if she wasn’t scared? Veronica says, write, dumbass, holding out her notebook. Quita takes it, and starts to write. She says Veronica doesn’t know what’s going on, does she? Quita knows what they’re saying. All dem hood babies Veronica had locked up because of the bombing she planned. She got their brother killed, and they’re plotting on her. She writes and laughs, and Veronica asks, what’s funny? Quita says she doesn’t even know the really funny part. Veronica says, if any ghetto hood-rat does anything to her, there will be holy hell to pay. Quita says Veronica only has so many lives, and Veronica says, at least she has one. Quita writes, b-i-t-c-h, and hands Veronica’s notebook back. Veronica looks at it for a while, turning it this way and that. She says, what is this? and Quita says, he’ll know. Veronica says it’s a masterpiece, and should be archived in a museum. It should go up for every child to see this level of ignorance is still in the world. She tells Quita, it must be in ratchet. She sits, and points Quita in the right direction to leave.

Justin comes into the hospital, saying he’s in pain. Madison’s co-worker says he shouldn’t have left, and he says he thinks something’s wrong. No surprise, Madison and Jeffrey come back at just that moment. Madison asks Justin what he’s doing back, and Jeffrey asks, what’s going on? Jeffrey says he’s not doing this with Justin, and Madison says he’ll take Justin to an examining room. Justin says the woman is helping him, but she says she’s on break, giving Madison the folder. I wonder why she always does this to him. Madison and Justin go into an examining room, Jeffrey following.

Justin asks if Jeffrey and Madison are still seeing each other, and Jeffrey says, no. Jeffrey asks what Justin is doing there, and Justin says, now Jeffrey’s concerned. Madison tells Justin to get on the bed, and Justin says he feels like something is wrong. He doesn’t need a nurse; he needs a doctor. Madison says, he’s got it, and leaves. Justin asks Jeffrey to stay, but Jeffrey says he’ll be fine. Justin says this is what Jeffrey’s mom did to him. It’s not fair. Jeffrey says, Justin shouldn’t have hit her. Justin asks if Jeffrey think he deserves it, and Jeffrey says he thinks Justin shouldn’t have hit her. He says he has to go. Justin begs him not to leave, but Jeffrey says, goodbye. When he’s gone, Justin says, nobody loves him.

Wyatt is led to the cell next to Kathryn’s. He says, hi, mom, and she tells him, she has nothing to say to him. He asks if this is how she treats her only son. She says the son who tried to kill her. He says he didn’t, but he could have. She repeats she has nothing to say, and he says they’re going to be spending a lot of time in the same place, so she’ll be listening. She calls to the guard, but he says, they don’t care. They’re not coming. She tells him, shut up, and he says he hopes they do her like they did him. She says he’s evil, and he says he gets it from his parents. Did she expect to be as evil as she is, and him not be affected? She says when she gets out, he’ll pay for what he did to his father. He laughs, and says he doesn’t care about his father. He’s glad the SOB is dead. Kathryn says, dead? and he says, they didn’t tell her? Wyatt says, he’s dead, in a singsong voice, and asks if she wants to hear the remix. D-d-d-d-dead. She says, he’s not dead, and Wyatt laughs.

Next time, Benny calls Hanna, Celine wants to see Jim, Connelly asks if Charles thinks Candace wasn’t conning him, Justin says David can’t hurt him, and get ready for the tables to turn.

Vanderpump Rules

Jax waters the lawn wearing a sheet mask. Brittany says he looks creepy. I tend to agree. In Brittany’s interview, she says, it’s finally time. They’re going to Miami. She’s been waiting for this her whole life. They’re going to tear Miami up.

Everyone packs. Stassi tells Beau that Kristen is living by herself. He thinks it’s good for her to have some space to see things clearer. In Stassi’s interview, she thinks Kristen is on the path to finding herself. She hopes she doesn’t have to see Carter again.

In her interview, Kirsten says she’s a homeowner now. She’s single, has two awesome dogs, and feels like she’s winning at life. Ariana comes by, and they find a box marked Carter. Ariana asks if he’s moving in, and Kristen says he’s not, but they had sex this morning. Ariana says it’s never going to work. In Ariana’s interview, she says, Kristen is living in two worlds. The one where she’s telling friends that she and Carter have broken up; and reality, where she and Carter have sex, hang out, and he has his stuff shipped to the new house. Ariana tells Kristen that she’s messy. She hopes Miami isn’t weird. It was intense yesterday when Stassi screamed at Tom.

Stassi tells Beau that she hasn’t talked to Tom. Beau says he’s still annoyed about it, and Stassi says she’s not apologizing. It was her party.

Kristen tells Ariana, the texts were aggressive. Who does Tom think he is? Ariana says, the owner of TomTom. I notice she didn’t say an owner.

At SUR, while the staff sets up for the day, a wick of a three-wick candle slides off the side, and sets a plant on fire. Several of the servers scramble to put it out. I saw this happen at a friend’s place once, and it was scary. I haven’t used one of those since. Lisa comes by, and asks Max if he heard about the altercation at Stassi’s book signing. He says Stassi and Katie were screaming at Tom in front of all the guests. Lisa asks, why? and Max tells her, Stassi said something about Tom sending her rage texts. He was supposed to get a screenshot, but never did. In Lisa’s interview, she says she knows by looking at him, she’s not getting the whole story. He’s a bit of a sh*tty liar.

The group meets at the airport. After a two second flight, and a five second car ride, they arrive at the hotel. In Jax’s interview, he says Miami is where he started modeling as Jason Cauchi, and Jax Taylor was born. To be there for Jax Taylor’s last hurrah is perfect. They’re met with margaritas, and in her interview, Brittany says some of her best friends are there. We see everyone gathered, including her brother-in-law and sister-in-law. She says it’s amazing that they all flew to Miami just for them. She tells everyone that they’ll have room service in their rooms, then the girls will get in their wedding gowns, and split off from the guys.

Tom steps away with Stassi, and says, the last time they were together was rough. She says, because he was a d*ck, and he says he apologizes for the text messages. Stassi says she appreciates his apology. She was shook. He says she has to understand, they don’t plan events five days ahead. He couldn’t sleep. She asks why he would talk to her like that, and he says Max told him they had no one to work. She says that had nothing to do with her, and he says his stress was at the limit. In Stassi’s interview, she says she doesn’t need to hear his reason for being a d*ck. Stassi says Tom was the only one voicing his opinion. In Tom’s interview, he says he knows Stassi loves a great apology, but this is the best she’s going to get. He tells her, the best protocol is a line of communication between them, and she says, Lisa, Schwartz, and Max all knew, but sorry she didn’t text him. Next time, she will.

Everyone checks out their room. Brittany thinks she and Jax have a terrifying balcony. Kristen says hers is too pretty and pink. It looks like Stassi threw up on it. Stassi says it looks like she decorated it, and Beau notices a ceiling mirror. Tom tells Ariana it’s a rat pack night. In Tom’s interview, he says he and Jax haven’t been on the best terms lately, and we flash back to that. He wants to knock it out of the park for the bachelor party. He tells Ariana about a club package they got with everything included for five grand. Jax is going to expect nothing less than awesomeness. Tom supposes it’s the only time he’ll be seeing Ariana in a wedding dress, and she’s leaving him. She says she’s a runaway bride. The girls check out their dresses.

Beau asks Stassi what Tom said, and Stassi says it was half apology, half she has to understand what he’s going through. Beau wonders what Tom is doing at 2 am, messaging his girlfriend. Stassi says she didn’t want to go to her own signing in a friend’s place. She could have done it somewhere with good ranch, like TGIFriday’s, but it was her friend’s restaurant. Beau says, it was ridiculous and rude. Stassi says she went into a bookstore at the airport and put her book in the front. Then Ariana told her that she didn’t see it in the store. She’d thought they were fine, but Tom and Ariana have spiky ass sticks up their butts.

At TomTom, Lisa FaceTimes with everyone involved in the book signing altercation. She tells Stassi that she heard it went downhill with Tom at her book signing, and Stassi says he rage texted her at 2 am, saying she was putting it all on them, and he was kicking her TF out of TomTom. She doesn’t know where it came from. Lisa asks if he apologized, but Stassi says, he just kept backing up what he did. Lisa calls Tom, and says she’d like a better understanding of what happened. He says he thought Stassi would have reached out to him, but there was no communication. She went through Schwartz. Then she screamed at him in front of the customers. Lisa makes another call to Schwartz, telling him that she wants to get some clarity on what happened. He says Tom overreacted, and handled it poorly. He doesn’t want to throw his partner/friend under the bus, but he went off the deep end. It was handled piss poorly. Tom thought they’d have to bartend, and snapped. In Lisa’s interview, she says their relationships are more important than an event. She hopes it’s a learning experience. Tom interacted unprofessionally. When it’s your business, keeping calm under pressure is of the utmost importance. Why does everything have to get so complicated?

The guys go to a strip club called Goldrush. Why Tom, Jax, and Schwartz are wearing fake mustaches and looking like 70s porn stars is beyond me. In Beau’s interview, he says he’s uncomfortable at strip clubs. It’s not really his thing, and he knows when he leaves, Satan will be waiting in the hotel room, and it scares the crap out of him.

The girls go to a secret lounge. In Stassi’s interview, she says it’s amazing that Brittany got all of her bridesmaids to wear a tacky wedding dress. Everyone’s idea of tacky is different. She looks like an upside down cupcake. To Ariana just wearing a wedding dress is tacky because she’s never getting married. Lala is covering her entire body for the first time in her life, which she finds tacky, and Scheana probably just pulled something from her closet. In Katie’s interview, she says she’s proud of Kristen. She’s not crying and miserable. She’s having a great time, and Katie thinks she’s finding her footing as a single girl. Ariana tells Scheana that everyone was giving her dirty looks at the airport. She’s not in a fight with Stassi. In Ariana’s interview, she says everyone is talking about her, but not to her. She finds it unfair.

At the club, the guys make it rain. One of the girls tells Peter that he looks like Zorro, and it’s true. Beau tells Schwartz that he doesn’t want it to be awkward with Tom, and feels like they should have a quick sit-down. He tells Tom that he’d like a powwow outside, and they leave. In front of the club, Beau says he wanted to have a conversation before everyone gets too wasted, and Tom says, too late, but adds he’s kidding. Beau says he’s pissed that Tom sent a nasty text to his girlfriend. He should apologize in a better way than he did in the lobby. Tom feels Stassi owes him an apology as well, but Beau doesn’t think so. Tom says if Stassi wants to have a party at his place, she should at least shoot him a text. Beau says she’s closer to Schwartz, and they’re partners on an equal level. Tom says, Schwartz doesn’t know how to clock-in at TomTom. He spent fifteen years working behind the bar, learning the ins and outs of everything. Schwartz spent fifteen minutes behind the bar, and had a panic attack. I’d forgotten about that, and we flash back. Tom tells Beau that Schwartz is a yes man, and Beau suggests Tom get upset at Schwarz. Tom says it was late at night, and he was freaking out. He wondered if Stassi would ever worry about how to make his party work out. She screamed at him and belittled him, attacking him in front of his customers. Beau says they were really Stassi’s customers since she brought them, but Tom practically thumps his chest, and says they were his customers. In Beau’s interview, he says he thought Tom was cool when they met, but after all this, he’s kind of a d*ck. Beau tells Tom, he’s done; he’s said his piece, and doesn’t want awkwardness. Tom tells Beau, he’s said his piece too, and they go back inside, but you can tell it’s unfinished.

Lisa asks Dayna how it’s going, and Dayna says harder than she thought it would be. There have been some challenges with some people who don’t want her there. Lisa says she’s seen it all before, and asks, who? Dayna says, Scheana hasn’t been kind. In her interview, Lisa says Scheana should know more than anyone what it’s like to be the new girl. It’s surprising because that’s how she was treated. Dayna says Scheana might have personal issues, since Dayna is hanging out with Max. Lisa says they don’t want to deal with personal issues, and Scheana probably thinks of herself as an OG because she’s been there a long time. In her interview, Lisa says a new girl isn’t going to be welcomed with open arms, but Scheana shouldn’t be guilty of that, since she’s been the victim. We flash back to Stassi telling her to polish the glasses, like Scheana did to Dayna. Dayna tells Lisa, she’ll handle it, and Lisa says she knows Dayna will.

The girls all sit in their wedding dresses at a table in the hotel suite. Brittany tearfully says they’re supposed to be celebrating her love. She hears this every day from people she doesn’t really know, and her feelings need to be respected. In Stassi’s interview, she says we’re probably wondering how they ended up there. She’ll start from the beginning. After they were drinking and dancing, Brittany didn’t want to call it a night, so they decided to go to another club. The VIP hosts held up a big sign, saying, Don’t Do It, Brittany. At first, Brittany was laughing, but then Kristen said it was tacky and rude. Brittany decided it was an elaborate set up that the club did to make fun of her and Jax. That’s how they ended up back at the hotel, drunk, crying, and in their wedding dresses. Brittany says people are always saying they don’t like her, or Jax, or don’t like them together. She hears it every day, and the sign was the last thing she needed. Katie thinks it was all in fun, and Ariana thinks it’s standard for a bachelorette party. It’s tacky, but that’s the idea. Lala says, it’s supposed to be tacky. You wear penises on your forehead. Brittany says she doesn’t want to be told she’s a POS, but Lala says, that’s not what they were doing. Brittany says she didn’t like it one bit, and Lala says she wouldn’t have cared. Kristen says they have to acknowledge that it hurt Brittany’s feelings. Lala says they’ve been doing that for the past hour and a half. She tells Kristen to knock it off. In Lala’s interview, she says, whenever Brittany calms down, Kristen is there ready to wind her up again. Put her back in her cage. Kristen says she’ll let that go. In Brittany’s interview, she says Jax did cheat, but they worked hard to get over it, and get past it. She believes in him and loves him. Lala wants Brittany to get to the point where what people say doesn’t affect her. In her interview, she says she’ll read an example. It’s a tweet or message from a stranger saying, just because she gives BJs for a lavish lifestyle doesn’t mean she’s not trash. Nice. She says she thinks the person is just mad because they only got a Honda Civic for theirs. Ha-ha! Touché. Jax comes in with pizza boxes and everyone gets all excited. Brittany tells him about how she got mad thinking they were being disrespected, and made everyone leave the bar. They held up a sign that said, don’t do it. The girls open the boxes, and it’s leftover pizza from what the guys had, complete with chicken bones on the side. Jax says he’s really wasted. Maybe she shouldn’t do it.

In the morning, Brittany asks if Jax is still drunk. He says he felt awkward at the strip club. He was the only one without a girl next to him. Funny, since the clips show us different. Not only does he have a girl, he tells Schwartz he’s leaving Brittany for one. He says he’s not good at a strip club, and Brittany tells him, every guy says that who goes to a strip club. She says they have the boat today, so start getting ready.

Schwartz tells Katie he’s the only one who didn’t have a lap dance, but we see a clip with a girl all over him.

Tom tells Jax that he rented a three-level boat, and Brittany says, it’s so dope. In his interview, Schwartz says they have every intension of abusing the open bar, and getting their money’s worth. He gets one of those mini beers, and says he feels like Andre the Giant holding it. Stassi says it’s one of her favorite things they’ve ever done. Lala asks Scheana about training the new people. Scheana says Dayna was a hostess at TomTom, but started serving at SUR. They don’t vibe. She doesn’t wear a bra. Lala asks if she’s mad at Dayna’s boobs, but Scheana says Dayna does little things that irk her. In Lala’s interview, she says, Scheana is jealous that she’s not the center of attention at SUR anymore. If she wants attention, show an effing nipple. Jax asks his sister Jenny for marital advice. He says they’ve been thought a lot, and he can’t be without Brittany. He’s done a lot of effed up sh*t, but he owns up to it.  In his younger day (i.e. last year), he screwed over a lot of them. Jenny says, even his future wife, and he says, they’re all still here. He guesses that says something.

Kristen asks to talk to Lala, and frets that she heightened Brittany’s upsetness [sic]. Lala says Kristen wasn’t hearing her, and Kristen says it makes her sad. Lala tells her not to be sad, but work on it. Last night was a sh*t show. We see a clip of Kristen being so drunk she falls over. She says, of course she texted Carter, and told him that she split her lip. She’s seeing him on Saturday, since she has a box of his stuff. Lala asks why she has a hard time by herself, and Kristen says saying she’s single sound like Scheana saying she’s single and ready to mingle. It’s the worst thing ever.

Jax tells Tom that he’s having a great time, and he’s exactly where he wants to be. Good job. Nothing could make it any better. In his interview, Jax says he’s glad Tom stepped up, and rented the boat… that’s not a yacht. It’s the same booze cruise he went on in high school. Ariana tells Stassi that she wants to clear the air. Stassi was giving her dirty looks yesterday. Stassi says she couldn’t look Ariana in the eye. Everyone said that she was defending Tom. Ariana tells Stassi that she’s said the conversation should be between Tom and Schwartz. Schwartz dropped the ball. Stassi doesn’t think it’s fair to put it on Schwartz. In Stassi’s interview, she says she sees it now. Tom’s role is to take the credit, while Schwartz’s role is to take the blame. Stassi says she’d also taken her book and put it in the front of the airport bookstore when Ariana had said it wasn’t there. Ariana wonders if Stassi told anyone she did that, and Stassi says Lala filmed it. In her interview, Stassi doesn’t understand why Ariana wants to make her feel sh*tty about her book. She’d thought Ariana was a confident woman who’s genuinely happy for another woman’s success. She’s not that way, but she thought Ariana was. Hmm… Could Ariana be jealous because Stassi is a single author while she had to share the spotlight with Tom? Stassi tells Ariana that she’s sick of rolling over. Pictures are taken of the girls in their Team Bridesmaid/Bride swimsuits. Brittany wants to post the first one, so she gets the most likes and comments. Katie says tonight the girls are going out, and the guys will join them later. They’ll let the guys know when it’s safe.

The girls go out to dinner. Katie says she doesn’t know the guys’ plans, but they’re meeting them later. They start with shots. Kristen steps outside to take a call from Carter, who asks if it’s okay if he goes to her house tomorrow. Katie asks Stassi if she and Ariana talked, and Stassi says Ariana thinks Schwartz is the problem. Katie asks Ariana if she thinks the issue is with Schwartz now. Ariana says the issue isn’t with Schwartz, but with proper protocol. There was miscommunication, and misdirection. Katie says Tom needs to stop putting the blame on other people. He needs to own it and move on. In Ariana’s interview, she as much as she loves Schwartz, the stress over the book signing is his fault. He told Stassi it had been handled, when it hadn’t been handled. TomTom is better than that. Katie says she doesn’t want to fight, but it’s BS. Kristen comes back, and says Carter texted her. He has photo stuff at the house, so she gave him the code. In Katie’s interview, she says, Kristen just gave her house code to a guy who’s garbage, while she’s on vacation. She’s never breaking up with him. Katie says she gives up. Stassi tells Kristen not to say she hasn’t checked in when there’s nothing to check in on. Kristen tells Stassi not to make it about her.

In her interview, Brittany says, this is exactly what she didn’t want to happen. She wanted to have fun and celebrate; not be awkward, and not talk because they’re fighting. Stassi says she goes to Kristen’s place, and Carter is there. It’s like she’s lying. They’re not twenty-two, and can’t do this sh*t. It’s weird. Kristen says she’s doing the best she can, but Stassi says she’s not. She’s too old to be messy. Kristen says she’s been through this with them, like when Tom was cheating on Katie. Katie says he wasn’t, and Kristen is miserable. She’s never been happy in a relationship in her life.

Next time, it’s the girls’ turn for lap dances, the guys dress up like old men, Max wants James to DJ for Pride, and Kristen and Stassi have a sit-down.

🎹 Last Call…

This is one of  those so late it’s early kind of songs. Such a shame we need that pesky sleep.

January 27, 2020 – A Link To Port Charles, Kevin Bakes a Cake, Who Knows, Keeping Them Guessing, Returns, I Take It Back, Sad Surprise & Apropos


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


🚑 If You Missed It…

I posted the latest General Hospital episode, supposedly to be shown tomorrow on ABC, but we’ll see. You can find it here:

Below Deck

When we last left, Captain Lee told the crew he didn’t want to hear loud voices and slamming doors, and to get to bed, emphasizing his point by slamming the door. In his interview, he said they were acting like a-holes, and there was going to be hell to pay in the morning.

Kate cries, and Tanner gives Ashton a goodnight kiss. Kate tells Rhylee, they’re all so awful, and Rhylee says, everyone has a breaking point. In Rhylee’s interview, she says Kate has a hard exterior, but she’s still vulnerable. She knows how Kate feels. She’d rather have explosive diarrhea than work with these guys. Kate says, everybody hates everybody. In Kate’s interview, she says if this kind of behavior had been allowed when she started in yachting, she wouldn’t still be there. She’s over these misogynist a-holes. If they want to make her the bad guy, she can play that game.

Ashton says, there was drama last night. In his interview, Captain Lee says, it’s been an extremely tough season. They’ve had injuries, people quitting, and personality issues. The crew are acting like children. He’s pissed, and he’s not putting up with it. He calls everyone to the main salon. Kate tells Courtney that it was a nightmare hearing four males saying her name and laughing. She asked what they were talking about, and it was a delightful conversation.

The captain tells the crew, what happened last night is past. He doesn’t give a flying about that. All he cares about going forward, is the next charter. If anyone feels they can’t get along, they can pack their effing bags and leave. If anyone thinks they’re safe because it’s charter nine, and he won’t fire someone mid-charter, they don’t know him. Even the crickets are quiet. He tells them, that being said, he doesn’t see anyone getting up to leave, so go to work. He says, it’s only two and a half days. He can eat a sh*t sandwich every second for two and a half days. And if he can do it, they can.

Ashton has meeting with Tanner and Brian, not waiting for Rhylee. In Ashton’s interview, he says his first season as bosun wasn’t easy. He got dumped with Rhylee’s sh*t, and wants to stay as far away as possible. Kate calls to schedule massage therapists for the guests. Provisions arrive, including flower crowns. Jemele Hill is the primary, and the stews discuss her working for ESPN. Kate thinks it’s going to be fun; the best charter ever. Kate sits on the dock having a smoke, and messing with her phone. Tanner asks if she wants to make a sex tape, and she tells him to let it happen organically. In her interview, she tells us, he said it, so it can’t happen today.

Rhylee tells Brian that she’s happy to see that he and Courtney are good, but he says  they’re not good again. In her interview, Courtney says Brian isn’t ready emotionally. He looks at everything like she’s being disloyal. She’s more than willing to have a constructive conversation, but calling her out on everything she doesn’t agree with him on isn’t acceptable. Kevin asks Kate if she remembers when he wasn’t allowed in the pantry, and she says he is now. In his interview, he says, one more charter. He can do this. Just hold it together.

Courtney asks Brian if he’d like a chat, since he was mad at her again. He says she was sticking up for Kate, and stormed off, affecting everything. Both Courtney and I are wondering if he’s on the same boat. She says that didn’t happen. She was crying, and he walked past her to the van. He says it’s his fault again. In his interview, he says, loyalty is a big thing in his life. He and his friends all came from broken homes, and all they had was friendship. It’s disappointing that Courtney doesn’t have his back. He tells her, it’s the last charter, and he’s effing done. He can’t be a nice guy all the time. He calls her bru, and I want to smack him. She starts crying in the galley, and Kevin hugs her. Brian tells Tanner, he hates this boat. Courtney was upset and crying last night. Now she’s crying again, and he feels like an idiot. Kate hugs Courtney as she cries some more.

Brian complains to Tanner and Ashton about Courtney pointing her finger at him all the time. It’s always about what he did, and never anything she did. In Courtney’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship where she has to walk on eggshells to accommodate the other person. She doesn’t want to waste time on people who aren’t worthy. The captain says the guests are arriving in five minutes. Kate says, everyone in the crew is cracking. She asks Captain Lee if he ever wants to throw up and smile at the same time. The guests arrive, Kate distributes the flower crowns, and Simone passes out champagne. The captain welcomes everyone, Kate gives the tour, and the luggage is brought on board. The Valor heads out for the last time.

One of Jemele’s friends tells Kate that Jemele just got engaged, and gives her a big sign and balloons to hang. In Kate’s interview, she says the guests requested a 90s bachelorette party, and she loves the 90s. She went to a lot of ska shows and smoked a lot of pot. She loves these guests so much. In Kevin’s interview, he says, it’s the last charter, and he’s super excited. He wants to give the guests top level service, and knock their socks off with something special. While Brian and Ashton eat in the galley, Rhylee takes her food to her cabin. Brian says, it’s a shame, Ashton smiles, and I want to smack them both. In Simone’s interview, she says Jemele is an inspiration, and the guests are kick ass. Thank you, charter gods. Kevin sings, and Courtney opens more champagne. Jemele tells Simone to blink twice if the chef’s not that good. The guests make a toast, and lunch is served. Jemele wants to feel the love in the food when she tastes it. The guests agree the lunch is everything.

Kate tells Kevin that regardless of whether she’s on service, she still wants to know all the elements of the meal. Kevin says she’s never around, and calls her an effing weirdo. The boat coasts into Koh Nok, and Jemele says lunch was perfect, and they’d like dinner at 9. The jet skis are put out, and Tanner and Ashton help take the guests out. Jemele tells her friends that she has a stern observation about Kate’s coolness. She thinks they’re getting on Kate’s nerves. Another guest says Kate is just doing her job. When Kate asks if they need anything, Jemele tells Kate to promise not to cuss her out, and asks if they annoyed her. It seems like they’re getting on her nerves. Kate says she’s sorry they feel that way. In Kate’s interview, she says she feels like she’s in the Twilight Zone. Jemele is acting like Dean. We flash back to primary Dean basically calling Kate a bitch a million seasons ago. She says they’re in Thailand on a yacht. Look elsewhere for satisfaction besides her face. Kate insists they didn’t get on her nerves, and Jemele says they will. Kate says, challenge accepted.

Jemele says she’s never had a dude buy hair for her, and another guest says, just ask for the money, and wherever it lands, it lands. Kate tells Rhylee what Jemele said to her, and Rhylee asks if she’s sure Jemele just didn’t wonder if they’re being too demanding. Kate says, there hasn’t been enough interaction for them to make a judgement. Jemele tells Simone that she’s the first girl of color they’ve seen in a yacht crew, and says some encouraging words. Simone tells Kevin, the guests are amazing. Kate tells Rhylee, the guests are a-holes. As he cooks, Kevin sings, it smells like heaven, or should I say Kevin? In his interview, Kevin says he’s wrapping snapper in banana leaves with some local mango for the finale, and making a banging chocolate/peanut butter tart. Kate tells Courtney that the guests weren’t getting on her nerves, but they are now. In Simone’s interview, she says now that Jemele is putting Kate on the spot, she loves her. The guests play Never Have I Ever, which I think is the Dumbest Game Ever.

Kate calls the deckhands to help set up the bachelorette party. In Kate’s interview, she says she’s normally not super enthusiastic to throw a party for guests who are annoying, but since they’ll be getting d*cks shoved in their faces, she is. She is that cocky. (BA-DUM-CHH!) Rhylee blows up balloons, and one blows back at her. The guests get ready for the party. In Courtney’s interview, she says she loves the 90s; The Spice Girls, Tamagotchi. She was five, but she loved it.

The guests dance and drink. Jemele says she’s going through an awkward transition, and calls Kate over. In Kate’s interview, she says Jemele is looking for reasons to get mad at her, but surprise! Jemele apologizes, saying, early on, she got the wrong impression, and judged Kate prematurely. Kate asks if she’s having a great time. Jemele says she is, and Kate says that’s all she wants to know. In her interview, Kate says she loves an apology. She’s been called bitch this season more times than she’s been called Kate, but a bitch recognizes another bitch, and she thinks respect is happening. The guests go to bed, and Courtney cleans up the decorations.

I hate the dudes’ alarm clock because it sounds exactly like mine, and always startles me. The boat moves on, and hungover guests toddle out the next morning. One of Jemele’s friends says when Jemele is drunk, she gets turnt up. Tanner tells Brian, it feels like the last day of school, senior year. He’s still hopeful about Kate, and wants to see if she comes to him. Ashton tells Rhylee to drop the hook, and ready the anchor. Jemele tells the others that she woke up naked, but alone. They agree it was a great night, and Jemele asks for a shot of bourbon for breakfast. Kevin says he’s nervous about the d*ck tonight. The guests requested an erotic cake, and he’s never made a freestanding c*ck.

Kate tells the guests that they’ll be getting massages on the beach, and lunch at 12:30. Kevin wants the food served in Pyrex dishes, and Kate tries to explain they have a lot of sh*t to carry, and she has to lift and serve it. He calls her a d*ck, and in her interview, she says she’s sick and tired of every word out of his mouth. We flash back to some of the many times Kevin was an a-hole throughout the season. She says she’s being called a d*ck over casserole dishes. She has a gift for creative revenge that she only uses when she’s really angry. Congratulations. He’s made her really angry.

Rhylee feels like she’s being paid to take a break all season. In his interview, Ashton says he’s been doing things on Rhylee’s terms. Up to this point, he’s made an effort to do things differently to suit her, but he feels defeated. He wonders what he has to do to satisfy her. She’s a junior deckhand with so much to say. Kevin tells Simone there’s a lot of drama with the crew, so he’s happy the guests aren’t a-holes. Simone says Kate is the worst human she’s had to work with. Kevin likes how Simone stays out of it, and Simone says, it pisses Kate off when she doesn’t react, so that’s why she doesn’t. In Kevin’s interview, he says on the other boats he’s worked, the chef and chief stew try to get along, making an effort for both of them to shine, but there’s no trust between him and Kate. She doesn’t have his back, and it’s sad.

Tanner and Ashton set up the canopies on the beach, while Kate decorates. Simone and Brian bring the guests over. In Ashton’s interview, he says beach picnics are normally a pita, but they found an incredible gem of a beach. He can’t think of a better way to finish the season. It is really beautiful; a little cove shaded by trees. Kate greets the guests with welcome shots. The masseuses are there, and the guests take turns getting massages. Lunch is served, and one of them says it’s their favorite meal so far. In the galley, Tanner tells Kevin, eggs are gross. Kevin says, they are, but they’re cool. Huh? Kevin designs his cake, and Tanner suggests putting Betty Cocker on it. Ha-ha-ha! In Kevin’s interview, he says, this is harder than he expected, and we both laugh at his pun. On the beach, the guests are finishing with lunch. A lantern blows away, and Simone chases it.

The guests go back to the boat, and the beach stuff is taken back down. Rhylee meets the guests with towels, while Courtney has popsicles. Simone tells Kevin that the food was great. Kevin ices his cake, and Kate says his d*ck cake is amazing. She wonders if it takes one to make one. Brian and Courtney eat lunch in silence. In his interview, Brian wishes things were back to normal with Courtney. He hates drama and awkwardness, and wants to sort it out.

Kate tells the captain that it’s windy, and asks if there’s any chance of it dying down, but he says, it doesn’t appear so. In Kevin’s interview, he says the guests are lovely people, and he wants to go the extra mile for them. Captain Lee joins the guests for dinner. In Kate’s interview, she says, primaries who have a shot of whiskey for breakfast usually don’t make it to dinner and dessert. Kevin makes balls, and says he’s getting more and more into it. He’s going to make the best goddam c*ck cake he can. He wants to finish on a high note. The stews take pictures of the cake. Jemele says she needs a nap. In Kate’s interview, she says, it’s perfect. Kevin put a lot of effort into the cake, and Jemele went to bed. He’s been a d*ck this whole season. She’s acted like a bitch, but she is a bitch. She’s been hiding it, but now the bitch is woke, and there’s no going back. The captain says he’s never going to retire. If he does, he might as well lay down and have someone shovel dirt on him. He wants to do something for kids who need it, and he’s been doing a lot of charity work.

Kate puts a sparkler on top of the cake. Kevin is excited to show the cake to Jemele, and wants the guests to be super happy. He put in a lot of love into it. Captain Lee says, doing something useful with your life keeps you alive a lot longer. Kevin comes in with the cake, and one of the guests says, here they were having such a grown-up conversation, and then a penis came into the room. In Kate’s interview, she says her spirit animal is karma, and she’s a bitch. She always comes to people who deserve it. Who’s the d*ck now? Kevin asks where Jemele is, and he’s told she went to bed. The captain says he’s not taking a bite of that.

Next time – the season finale – Kevin says Kate made an evil bitch move, Ashton tells Rhylee they’re different people and that’s okay (gag), the odds look like they’re in Tanner’s favor, Brian doesn’t want to end on a bad note with Courtney, and Captain Lee says, no sailor ever learned anything in calm seas.

🛀🏻 Soap Balls In the Air…

I don’t think even they know what’s going on.

🎭 I Knew It…

I knew Roger Howarth and Kin Shriner must be big adlibbers.

📺 AMC’s The Walking Dead will return on February 23rd, along with 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days on TLC.

💍 Well, roll me up and call me curly. I’d thought the relationship between Anna and Mursel was over on 90 Day Fiancé (TO), which I wrote about on Friday. To my surprise, on Sunday’s episode, he owned up to lying to his parents, and they relented, saying he could marry Anna. To top it off, the government allowed him to return to the US again on the same visa. The wrench in the works is, he’ll only have six hours left on the visa by the time he gets to the US, and they have to get married in that time. Good luck with that.

🏀 Because I’d Be Remiss…

Shocking and sad news.

💧 No Better Time…

And no better combination than simplicity and sincerity.

January 27, 2020 – Extra! Extra! A New GH Episode Has Appeared!


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


⚠️ This is what I get for not checking over the weekend. A new GH episode popped up. According to my source, it’s supposed to be aired tomorrow, but we’ve heard that one before. Today, they’re showing a rerun from when Shiloh held Sam hostage on The Haunted Star. In any case – SPOILER ALERT – here’s the new one.

General Hospital

Jax kisses Nina, then says it was highly inappropriate; he’s her boss. She tells him, if it helps, she never really considered him her boss. Besides, it wasn’t about work. Ava breezes in, saying she’s glad she found them, and asks if it’s a bad time.

Nikolas goes to the hospital reception desk, and Epiphany says, Prince Cassadine, back from the dead. He asks if she can tell him where Elizabeth is. She says, working, and leaves the desk. Doc approaches, and asks if Nikolas isn’t finding everyone as welcoming as he’d hoped. Nikolas says he can understand his family being angry, but Epiphany? Doc says Nikolas hurt people she cares about, and Nikolas asks if that’s why Doc hates him. Doc says he’s angry, but he doesn’t hate Nikolas. Mostly, he’s mystified. How does a man who claims good manners and family devotion lie so heartlessly to the people he loves?

Elizabeth sees Finn, and asks how Violet is doing. He says she likes school, and loves dance, so he enrolled her in a class. She misses her mom. Elizabeth says they don’t know if Hayden is out of danger yet, but he’s not sure she was in danger in the first place. She says Hayden left to protect Violet, and he says Elizabeth doesn’t know, does she?

In Brooklyn, the shootout continues. Mike freaks out, yelling, no, no, no, no! Sonny tries to keep him down and behind something. The gunman grabs Maggie, and Jason points his gun, saying, let her go and he’ll live. And we all know Jason can shoot through the eye of a needle.

At the warehouse, Carly ducks behind some coffee bags. Gladys says they’re all going to be killed, but Tony tells her to stay in the office; the glass is bulletproof. As it always is at a coffee warehouse. A guy, presumably a warehouse worker, tells Carly not to move, and shoots back, along with Tony and another employee.

Josslyn calls 911 from the docks. Dustin comes out of nowhere, and gets the better of the guy shooting at them, but the guy takes off. Dustin chases him, and Michael asks if everyone is okay. He calls to Laura, but there’s no answer. He finds her shot and slumped over.

Still at the courthouse, Valentin sees Jordan and tells her, it’s a nice day for a stroll. She says, out on bail isn’t the same as going free, but he says, it’s a step in the right direction. She tells him, enjoy it while he can, and he says he intends to – for quite a long time.

Doc says Laura told him Nikolas was going to France to see Spencer, and Nikolas says it wasn’t the reunion he’d imagined. Doc asks what Nikolas said, and Nikolas tells him, nothing that mattered. He knew people would be angry because he lied, but he thought his being alive would be better news. Doc says, silver lining; they wouldn’t be so angry if they didn’t love him so much. When the anger fades, the love will come back. Nikolas asks if he has any idea when, and Doc nods and says, eventually. Nikolas hopes he’s right. In the meantime, he has other bridges to build.

Finn tells Elizabeth that Hayden was led to believe she was attacked. It was staged. She was convinced that she was in danger and that Violet would only be safe if Hayden left her with Finn. Elizabeth asks why Valentin would do that.

On the phone, Josslyn says, the gunman ran away, but Laura’s been shot, and they need an ambulance. Sasha tells Michael to elevate Laura’s feet. They tell Laura to stay strong; the ambulance is on its way. Michael asks Josslyn how long it’s going to be, and Josslyn says, five minutes, telling 911 to hurry. Dustin comes back, and asks if he can help. He lost the shooter, who ran down an alley and got away. Josslyn asks if it matters. He saved them. Well, yes, Josslyn, it does matter, since he’s still out there.

At the warehouse, mystery guy tells Carly they have to move, and they run to another location. Mystery guy gets shot on the way, but still keeps shooting back.

Jason tells the gunman to let Maggie go. Sonny tries to keep Mike calm, but Mike is still yelling, and says he wants to go home. Jason moves closer, and Maggie elbows the gunman, getting away. Jason shoots him, and tells Maggie, it’s okay. Sonny and Mike get up.

Nina tells Ava, it was just an impromptu celebration. Jax says, in a era of slumping magazine sales, Crimson’s numbers are climbing. Ava says Jax really does have the golden touch, but Nina thinks the editor-in-chief had something to do with it. Ava says she was speaking about Jax’s talent for picking winners. Her husband, the prince, is grateful for Jax restoring balance to his family. He’ll be happy to repay Jax when his assets are unfrozen. Jax says, so she hasn’t given him the codicil yet, and she says they’re negotiating. He asks what Ava gets once the assets are unfrozen, and she says, what every woman wants; an island of her own, and a diversified portfolio. I hear that.

Josslyn calls Jax, and tells him that she’s at the pier. Somebody started shooting. He asks if she’s safe, and she says she thinks so. The gunman ran off and the police are on their way. He asks, what pier? and she says, 55. He says he’s on his way.

Valentin tells Jordan, the judge granted him a brand new start, but she says, no, they haven’t. He says the charges are minor felonies, and since he’s had no convictions, it should all go away pretty quickly. In the meantime, he has to find a new place to live for him and his daughter. Jordan’s phone rings, and she listens a moment, then asks about casualties, telling them to send a status report. She wants to be at GH when the mayor is brought in. Valentin listens.

Finn asks why Elizabeth assumes it’s Valentin who had Hayden attacked, and she says he wanted her out of  town. He says, it wasn’t Valentin, and she says, then who? She sees Nikolas, and asks if he saw Spencer. He says he did, and she asks how it went. Nikolas asks if it’s a bad time, and Finn says, so you’re the guy. He and Elizabeth were just discussing Hayden, Elizabeth’s sister who was forced to leave town. Nikolas takes it that there’s been no word from her, and says he’s sorry to hear that. Finn says, is he? Nikolas says, of course (🍷), and asks if Finn would mind excusing them. He has something to discuss with Elizabeth. Before Finn has a chance to answer, Epiphany calls to him, telling him there’s been a shooting at the docks. He asks, how many incoming? and she says as far as she knows, just one. Elizabeth might want to sit this one out; it’s Laura. Doc overhears.

On the phone, Michael says, close the gates and double the guards. Don’t let anyone in they don’t recognize. He’s trying to get ahold of his father, but both Sonny and Jason aren’t answering. Chase arrives, and asks, what happened? Michael says, a gunman showed up and started firing. Laura was hit. Chase says he got that from dispatch, but needs to know everything that happened. Who saw the gunman first? Josslyn says she did, and Chase asks what she remembers. She says she left her journal there when she and Michael were talking earlier. She came back, and there was a guy with a gun. The gun was pointed at Michael, so she screamed for him to look out.

Carly tells Tony, one of his guys was hit. Tony asks if they can get to the office. She says they can’t, and he tells her to stay there, but she pulls mystery guy up. They don’t make it all the way to the office, but get down behind some shelving. The guy asks if Carly is crazy.

The police arrive at the bar in Brooklyn. Mike keeps repeating that he wants to go home, and Sonny says they will. Mike asks, when? A woman comes in and asks one of the cops what they’ve got. He says, the shooter is dead, and she asks, who did it? He points to Jason, then says, the waitress saw the whole thing, and she asks what Jason said. He says, so far, nothing. She introduces herself to Maggie as Detective Fiona Harlan. Maggie introduces herself, and Fiona asks her to describe what happened. Maggie says, these three guys came in, indicating Sonny, Jason, and the old man. She says Mike is the only one who introduced himself, and sat at the bar talking with her, but they were no trouble. Fiona asks about the gunman, and Maggie says he came in afterward and ordered coffee at the bar. Fiona asks if she noticed anything unusual, but Maggie says, no. Mike and the other guys paid their bill and started to leave, and that’s when the guy started shooting. Everything happened so fast. Fiona asks Maggie to just tell her what she remembers, and Maggie says she ducked behind the bar. She realized Jason – suddenly remembering his name – was shooting back, but the guy grabbed her and stuck his gun in her side. Jason had his gun pointed at the guy, who said she was coming with him, and she freaked out. She tried to pull away, and heard another shot. Then the gunman was just dead. Fiona says, Jason shot him, and Maggie says he saved her life.

Nina hopes Josslyn is okay, and asks Ava what she thinks Jax meant in asking Josslyn if she was safe. Ava doesn’t know, but says he wouldn’t have told Josslyn to stay if she wasn’t. She says it’s nice to see Nina back in the proverbial saddle, taking care of Crimson, the fashion world, and her personal life all at once. Nina says, all of that takes a considerable amount of energy, so if Ava doesn’t mind… Ava says it’s been a whirlwind. She was thrown off the parapet by Valentin, and rescued by Nikolas just in time to interrupt Nina’s wedding. Nina says, she remembers; she was there. Ava tells her, she could say Nina tossed the bouquet and she caught it. Nina adds, she ran with it, and Ava says it worked out for the both of them. Nina says if Ava got everything she wanted, why is she there? and Ava says she just wanted to check in. Nina says she knows better. She thinks Ava came there to find a friend.

Laura is wheeled into GH, and on to the ER. Doc asks Jordan if they know who did this, and Jordan says, the gunman is still at large. Doc asks if it could have anything to do with Laura’s plans to rebuild the waterfront, but Nikolas says, Sonny runs the waterfront, and there’s no way he’d do this to her. Dustin introduces himself to Nikolas, and says he must be Lulu’s brother. He already called Lulu, and she’s on her way. Jordan asks Dustin what he knows, and Dustin says he was out walking, and heard gunshots from the pier. He ran toward them, and saw the gunman firing. She asks if he was firing randomly, but he says it looked like the gunman was aiming for Michael.

Sasha tells Chase she didn’t notice anything until Josslyn started yelling. Chase asks if the shooter was firing at Laura, but Sasha says Michael pulled her behind a crate and she didn’t see anything else. Jax shows up, and asks if Josslyn is okay. Josslyn hugs him, and says, someone was shooting at Michael. Chase asks if Michael has any idea what’s going on. Michael isn’t sure, and says he can’t get ahold of his dad or Jason which is unusual.

Mystery guy tells Carly he’s okay, but she says he’s not. He’s shot and bleeding. She says she’ll be back, but he tells her not to go anywhere. Tony tells another guy that the remaining gunman ran out of ammo, and they move forward, shooting, but the gunman hides. (I didn’t see it, but I assume the other gunman took off.) They find him crouched down behind the coffee bags, and Tony tells the him that Sonny isn’t going to be happy; his wife is in the warehouse. Carly tells mystery guy the shooting has stopped, but he says, sometimes they do that to draw you out. She sees a first aid kit, and wants to get it, but mystery guy says if she gets shot, it defeats the purpose, and  tells her to stay there. She says when he passes out, she’ll do what the hell she wants.

Mike says he wants to go home, and Sonny tells him, the police want them to wait. Mike is afraid he’s going to get in trouble, but Sonny says he won’t. What happened wasn’t his fault, but the police want them to wait. Fiona asks for Jason’s ID, and tells him, Maggie said he saved her life. She asks if he has a license to carry a gun, and he says he does. She says he took a big chance; firing when the gunman had Maggie. Either he’s an expert shot, or very lucky. She asks him to tell her what happened, but he says he’s not saying anything without his attorney. I laugh.

Carly tells mystery guy, there are no more gunshots. We hear sirens, and she says, it’s over; the police are on their way. He tells her, stay put and wait for the cops. She asks if he wants to bleed to death, but he says he won’t. Tony asks who the gunman works for, and the gunman tells him, go to hell. Tony punches him in the face, and tells his guy to take the gunman to the ice house; Sonny will want to talk to him. He asks if Carly is okay, and she says she is, but mystery guy got shot. Tony tells her, it’s over, and she asks him to get the first aid kit. She also wants Sonny to know, this man saved her life and deserves a raise. Tony says, he doesn’t work for Sonny.

Jax wonders if it could be an enemy of Sonny’s targeting the family, but Michael doesn’t know. He can’t reach Sonny or Jason, and everything is quiet at the house. Jax says Josslyn seems convinced that the gunman was after Michael. Michael thinks so too, but Sasha says he has nothing to do with Sonny’s business. Josslyn says, maybe the gunman doesn’t know that. Chase comes back, and says he’s gotten multiple reports of shots fired at the coffee warehouse, and an exchange of gunfire. He asks Michael where Sonny is, and Michael says Sonny isn’t there. He’s in Brooklyn.

Fiona introduces herself to Mike and Sonny, who looks like he has a headache. She wants to ask them some questions, but Mike says Sonny told him that he could go home. Sonny says they will, but he’s going to talk to Fiona first. He steps aside with Fiona, and explains that his dad has Alzheimer’s, and asks if Maggie can sit with him, since she calms him down. Maggie says, no problem, and talks to Mike at the bar. Mike asks when they’ll get to go home, and she says, soon she hopes. She can’t wait. Fiona asks for Sonny’s ID, and says, Michael Corinthos Jr., better known as Sonny. She tells him they’re taking Jason in for questioning. It’s clear it was self-defense, but Jason has a list of priors so long, it almost crashed their system. Sonny says, Jason saved Maggie’s life, and Fiona asks if Jason was there as his bodyguard, but Sonny says Jason was there as his friend. She says she has a shot up pub, a traumatized waitress, and a dead gunman on his way to the morgue. She needs to know who tried to kill him, and he needs to answer her questions there. If she has to take him to the station, Mike has to go too, and she doesn’t think it would be good for him.

Lulu runs into GH, and asks Dustin where her mother is. He says she’s in the ER, and Lulu asks, what happened? He says he was at the pier, heard gunshots, and went to investigate. Her mother had been hit, and he knocked the shooter down, but he got away. She says, he stopped the gunman? but he says, it was no big deal. Valentin joins them, and says he heard Lulu’s mother has been shot. She says Charlotte and Rocco are safe at the Quartermaine’s, and he asks how Laura is. She asks if he’s jealous that someone got to her before he did, and he says to give her his best. Nikolas wonders why Valentin is there, and wants to find out what he said to Lulu. Doc says if Lulu needs Nikolas, she’ll let him know. Right now, Laura is the only thing that matters.

Sonny tells Fiona that he doesn’t know who sent the gunman. She asks if he’s received any threats lately, or hostile overtures. He says after New Year’s Eve, someone stole one of his trucks and burned it. He doesn’t know who’s responsible, and no one ever contacted him. She asks why he’s in Brooklyn, and he says for his dad. Maggie talks to Mike about a runner who was in the top ten of the world, and had no formal training. She thinks there’s a lesson there about living your life to the fullest. Sonny tells Fiona that his dad is supposed to be evaluated for a possible Alzheimer’s trial. They grew up in Brooklyn, and he’d hoped Mike would feel something familiar.

Carly tries to help mystery guy, when Jordan comes in. Carly calls that they need some help, and Jordan asks, what the hell happened? Carly says, first, they need an ambulance; a man has been shot. Jordan says, it’s on its way, and Carly tells him to keep his eyes open. Jordan asks Tony, what happened? and he says, two guys showed up and started shooting; we shot back. She asks if by we, he means mystery guy, but Tony says he’s never seen him before. He doesn’t work for Sonny. Carly says she was trapped, and mystery guy showed up, started shooting back, and helped her get away. Jordan wonders if he was working with the gunmen and switched sides for some reason.

Chase asks Michael to go through it again, but Sasha says he already has. Three times is excessive, and four borders on harassment. Michael is his friend, and has had his and Willow’s backs countless times. They spent New Year’s Eve together. Someone just tried to kill Michael, and Chase is acting like Michael knew something. Michael says Chase is just doing his job.

Josslyn sees Dustin at the hospital and introduces him to Jax, saying he just saved her life. Jax thanks him, and Dustin gives Josslyn her journal, saying she might want to write about this. She says they’re her innermost thoughts and feelings, and she keeps leaving them at the docks. Dustin says she was probably distracted by the gunfire.

Finn comes out of the ER, and Doc asks how Laura is. Finn says she’s regained consciousness, and is asking for him. Nikolas asks if she’s going to be okay, and Finn says it’s a difficult surgery to remove the bullet, but he’s hopeful. Elizabeth hugs Nikolas.

Doc goes in to see Laura, and she says she told him the docks weren’t safe. He suggests sending a security team first next time.  He tells her that he loves her and they’re all there for her. Lulu and Nikolas are there, and they all need her.

Ava doubts she and Nina will ever be friends. Friendship is too kind a word. Nina suggests an olive branch, and Ava thinks they should get a drink and take it from there. Valentin appears, and says, it’s a great idea. He has something to celebrate; he was released on bail. Ava says he tried to kill her, but he says there was no proof or reliable witness, so there were no charges brought against him for her unfortunate accident. He asks Ava to give him and Nina some privacy, but Ava tells Nina it’s clear she shouldn’t be alone with Valentin. If he approaches Nina when she’s alone, Nina can call her; day or night. Perhaps they could all meet on her parapet for old times’ sake. Valentin says Ava is acting like a protector when they’re standing in the office where Ava shot a woman and left her for dead. Nina tells him, go, and he says he will. He just wanted her to know he’s practically a free man.

Nikolas thanks Finn for taking such good care of his mother, and Finn says, speaking of mothers, his daughter would like hers back. He knows what Nikolas did. They can deal with it later, but in the meantime, Nikolas forgot to tell Elizabeth what he did to her sister. Nikolas says he hasn’t, and Finn says, good. Elizabeth should know the role he played in Hayden abandoning her child. Nikolas says he came straight from the airport to do just that, but now isn’t the time. Laura is wheeled into surgery.

Jordan asks how mystery guy is, and Carly says, his pulse is strong, but he’s bleeding a lot. She asks if Jordan could hurry the ambulance, and Jordan says if she could, she would. In the meantime, she needs to know if Carly was the intended target. Gladys comes out, and Jordan spins around, pointing her gun. Gladys says she has nothing to do with any of this. She was an innocent bystander, and someone started… She looks at mystery guy, and says, Brando?

Michael tells Chase that he has no idea who the gunman is. Chase asks if Michael would tell him if he did, and Michael hopes it doesn’t come to that.  Chase says, it has. He just got word there was a shooting in a pub in Brooklyn. Apparently Sonny was the intended target. Michael asks if Sonny is hurt, and Chase says, he’s fine and being questioned at the scene. The NYPD brought Jason in, because apparently, he shot the gunman. It would appear someone is making a move against Sonny. If he knows how this works, Sonny is going to tell Michael who it is, and that he’ll handle it, but if Michael really wants to save lives, let the police handle it.

Fiona says she hates to tell Sonny, but there were two shootings in Port Charles this afternoon. One at Pier 55; the intended target, Michael Corinthos III. Sonny asks if Michael was hurt, and she says he was unharmed, but there was another shooting at the coffee warehouse. She has no information on possible casualties. The way she sees it, she has two choices; she can keep him in Brooklyn, and risk another shooting, or make him the PCPD’s problem. He’s free to go, but may be contacted in the future. Sonny says she has his full cooperation. He asks how it’s going with Mike, and Maggie says they were just talking about marathons. After today, she might try running one. He thanks her for being kind to Mike, and she tells him to thank his friend for saving her life.

The clinic calls to confirm Mike’s appointment for evaluation, but Sonny says they’re not going to be able to make it; there’s a family emergency. The woman says if Mike doesn’t come in today, they can’t consider him for the trial. Sonny says he understands, but can’t bring him. He tells Mike they’re going home.

⛴ See you on Deck later!


January 24, 2020 – Still Waiting With a Side of Updates, 90 Day Rewind, Donnalicious, a Real Peach, Wives News, Off Probation, LalaCast, GoT Redux, a Farewell, Nearly Ten Quotes & Have a Happy Rat Year


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

So what do General Hospital and the trial coverage have in common? General Hospital has been on for fifty years, and the same information is being repeated for what feels like fifty years. Seriously, when this is over, these people should get newscaster jobs. They also love to repeat things over and over.

The scoop (or as much of it as we have):

A message:

The spoilers:

This pretty much says it all:

💍 Catching Up With 90…

I figured since GH is on hiatus, and this Friday had a gap (I will forever miss you, Z Nation <sniff>), I’d give you the skinny on the latest 90 Day Fiancé couplings. I am obsessed with this franchise. So much so, I can’t even recap it – I want to take in every second. While I love all of the spin-offs (this could give Law and Order and CSI a run for their money, even put together), my favorite is Pillow Talk/Watch Party, where former cast members watch the latest show, and give commentary. The only thing better than watching TV, is watching other people watch TV. The original is back for a new season, and here’s where they are, in case you want to take the plunge.

American dude Mike and Natalie, a beauty from the Ukraine, seemed to be on shaky ground from the start. Mostly because Natalie’s method of communication is to bore holes in Mike with her eyes, and expect him to know what’s going on in her head. And what’s going on in her head is ridiculous. Mike went to the Ukraine to help her get a K-1 visa, and his time ran out while it was still hung up in the process. During a joint interview, where they were asked if they loved one another, Mike was quick to say yes, while Natalie hemmed and hawed, and said love would come as they got to know one another. Since they were already engaged, this didn’t exactly thrill Mike, causing Natalie to react like a petulant child. She literally threw the ring into his suitcase, but then ended up accompanying him to the airport when she didn’t get the desired response – which was that he should put the ring back on her finger, apologize (for what, was unclear), and sweep her into his arms. She ended up accompanying him to the airport, where she continued to bore holes into him until he left. This was definitely left up in the air.

Finnish lovely Jasmin arrived in America to meet with her fiancé Blake, and so far, it’s a match made in disaster. They have absolutely nothing in common (that I can see anyway), and even worse, Jasmin is a teetotaler/health nut who gets miffed every time Blake dares to have an alcoholic beverage. It doesn’t stop there though. Jasmin refused to get to know his friends, and answered all their questions with barely monosyllabic answers. The topper came when Blake’s best friend was having a birthday. They were supposed to go to a more intimate dinner with just the two couples and on to a party, but Jasmin begged Blake for a dinner alone with him first. This wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t then refused to go the party, and decided to visit her sister instead, who happens to live nearby. I don’t think it takes a Sherlock to figure out there might be some ulterior motive here. Even the sister is telling her that she’s behaving badly. I would have packed this one back to Finland by now.

American born Tania and Syngin from South Africa would be a match made in heaven, if it weren’t for the fact that Tania is a self-centered twit. Syngin has it all; he’s good-looking, articulate, funny, and a hard worker. While he’s not allowed to have a job until he has a green card, he’s still proven his diligence by doing anything and everything that needs to be done, from garden work to revamping a shed for their living space on her mother’s property. A shed Tania was supposed to have finished by the time he got there, but surprise! there was nothing done. As a reward for being such a great guy, Tania took off for 30 out of their 90 days to attend a workshop on natural healing in Costa Rica. Since this is her chosen career, and they agreed it was an investment in their future, Syngin was cool with it. He wasn’t so cool with Tania getting sh*tfaced on the weekends with her classmates, and refusing to call him when she got back to where she was staying. It wasn’t even her getting wasted that he minded, although what he didn’t see was her also flirting shamelessly with any halfway decent dude at the bar. All he wanted was to know she was safe after her night out, because, you know, she was getting blackout drunk in a foreign country. Because her world revolves around herself, Tania failed to see how this was anything but being possessive and harshing her buzz. And even though Syngin had toted and fetched for her mother 24/7 while she was gone, when she came back, Tania was pissed that Syngin hadn’t investigated woodworking courses as she’d instructed him to. Never mind he’s in a foreign country where he knows no one, has no real money, and she left him hanging five minutes after he got there. My advice: Run, Syngin. Run.

Angela from America and Michael from Nigeria are back and badder than ever. I never thought they’d last, much less be riding the Fiancé franchise for this long. Sadly, Michael’s K-1 visa was denied, although it’s unclear as to why. This often seems to be the case, where the applicant is kept in the dark over important particulars. When a visa is denied, the couple has two options. They can appeal the denial or get married in the country of the applicant, and reapply. No surprise, Michael’s family is pushing for the marriage in Nigeria, while Angela wants to be surrounded by her family and friends. Michael shed real tears while giving the news to Angela, so she hopped on the next flight to see him. In the meantime, Michael also told his friends, who have given him grief about the relationship and had gotten in an altercation with Angela on her last trip, to piss off. This is when I started thinking maybe he actually cares for her. With the two being at odds as to how to approach the denial, their reunion started off on shaky ground. It didn’t get any better when, at a gathering of his relatives, their age gap (22 years, with Angela being older) became an issue when the subject of children came up. Michael’s uncle suggested that if Angela’s one remaining egg couldn’t produce progeny, he should have kids with someone else. Needless to say, this didn’t go over too big with Angela. It’s just one more argument in the long line that is their relationship.

American Robert and Anny from the Dominican Republic are a perfect match, just not for each other. Robert has a four-year-old son who he co-sleeps with, while Anny is more interested in another type of threesome. While Anny isn’t behaving like any prize, Robert also misrepresented himself, telling her that he’d buy her clothes when she got there and not to bring anything, and saying he’d take care of all her needs. If her needs were a small one-bedroom for two and a half people, and clothing from the second-hand store, then they were met, but her dreams were a little bigger than that. While their trip to a strip club for her birthday, at her suggestion and complete with a lap dance for her, was a little awkward; him taking her to look at an apartment, only to tell her he’d just signed a one-year lease where they already were, was downright mean. He gave her a give-it-time speech, but I’m not so sure she’s willing to wait. And to be fair, it’s not what she signed up for. I’m also not so sure he wants the stepmother of his son to be quite so freewheeling sexually.

Emily from America met Russian Sasha while she was teaching English in his country. They got to know each other so well, she was pregnant by the time they were on the show. Now they’re living in America, preparing to wed, and Emily has had the baby, but hasn’t shed the baby weight. Fitness coach Sasha has taken this as a personal challenge to get his family healthy, which I think is code for getting Emily to drop a few pounds. In a bold move, he started tossing anything he deemed junk into the garbage, while Emily wailed that the veggie chips were fat free. He doesn’t exactly seem too hands-on with being a father either, and did I mention he has two ex-wives who he also got pregnant before marriage? Sounds like a pattern to me. Still, I think this could go either way. We’re down to getting the wedding dress.

American Michael met Brazilian model Juliana while in Croatia. After a rocky start, and a denied visa, Juliana is now in the US. Another couple with a big age gap (19 years, with Michael being older), Michael has an ex-wife and two children. You’d think this would be a hurdle, but you’d be wrong. His children are a delight, wise beyond their years, and his ex has become Juliana’s biggest ally, even going wedding dress shopping with her. Juliana has also been married before, but it was more of an arranged situation, where she was mistreated, and she split. There was a shaky moment, where Michael suggested a prenup (he has a few bucks), but seriously failed in explaining it to Juliana, who freaked out because he’d dropped out of her life once before when she was still in Brazil. Wisely, he scrapped this idea, and we’re at the wedding. Since I read they’re in the process of adopting her niece and nephew, hopefully, this one lasts.

The one that already didn’t last was Anna from America and Mursel from Turkey. I would have bet the farm on this one at the beginning too. Drawn together online with a shared love of beekeeping, neither one knew the other’s language when he arrived to begin the 90 days. Her two sons weren’t thrilled, mostly the older one, but how could two beekeepers not make it? They were so cute together in their bee suits. Anna had picked out her dress, when she decided Mursel keeping her children a secret from his family was a no for her. She insisted he tell them, and the reaction was not good. During FaceTime with his mother, Mursel got honest, and his mother told him to come home, saying that Anna was no good. As if this wasn’t bad enough, he made it sound like he’d just found out, when he knew all along. When his mother called Anna a deceptive liar, he made no move to correct her. No matter how much Anna cried and begged, Mursel packed his bags, and went home to mommy and daddy. The worst part was, as he was headed to the plane, he turned around and came back to Anna. Both Anna and the viewers thought he’d changed his mind, but he had only returned for another tearful goodbye. I’m all for respecting one’s family, but he’s 35.

👧🏼  I’ll Have What She’s Having…

I’m using the fact that she was on GH to justify including this, but I swear, every time I see Donna Mills, I’m startled. She’s nearly 80, and doesn’t look much different than she did when she was on Knots Landing. Either she has one helluva plastic surgeon or miracle genes.

🍑 NeNe NewsNews…

Reminiscent of Flavor of Love.

They’ll have to pry that peach out of her cold, dead hand.

🏃🏻‍♀️ All the News That’s Fit To Run From…

Coast to coast Housewives.

🥂 Much Ado About Uber…

Publicity for LuAnn is a double edged Chambord.

💋 Lala and…

I love how she thought up a podcast name that could be changed just in case. Planning is everything.

✍️ Write Faster…

One of my greatest fears is that George R.R. Martin will die before he finishes these books.

🖐 So Long Mr. Lacey…

And my favorite Willie.

🗣 Quotes of the Week

We are all equal in the fact that we are all different. We are all the same in the fact that we will never be the same.C. JoyBell C.

The individual who says it is not possible should move out of the way of those doing it.Tricia Cunningham

Hey, fellas – stop manspreading. – Awkwafina, the new voice of an NYC subway train. And the voice of reason.

Always forgive, but never forget, else you will be a prisoner of your own hatred, and doomed to repeat your mistakes forever. – Wil Zeus

Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have. – Doris Mortman

If you have a boy, you only have to worry about one penis. If you have a girl, you have to worry about them all. – Herb (Ryan Stiles), Two and a Half Men

I am not good at noticing when I’m happy, except in retrospect.Tana French

If you ask me I don’t think there are any such things as curses. I think there is only life. That’s enough. – Junot Diaz

Luck affects everything. Let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it there will be a fish.Ovid

🐭  Pay No Attention To That Rabbit…

It’s the year of the rat. Happy Lunar New Year!

January 23, 2020 – No Soap Possible Spoiler, Pop Art Runway, Fashion Café & Wondering Where


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

The best I can tell you is this. On the GH Facebook fan page – not ABC, who is being cagey – I read there will be no new episodes aired on any platform until the Is-This-Guy-Still-Talking show is over. This could very well be, since I can’t find them anywhere, and even On Demand is showing reruns. I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime – POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT – someone also claimed to have seen the next episode after the shootouts. Again, I can’t find it, which is why I can’t be positive on this info. They said that Gladys is the one who led Sonny into the trap by telling him about the medical trial, her son Brando is still alive, and he’s behind the ambushes. This sounds like a distinct possibility, except the medical trial was in Manhattan. Gladys would have had to bet on Sonny being in the right place at the right time in Brooklyn.

Not that making sense has stopped anyone before.

Project Runway

Sergio was still trying to get over his big loss last week. He said he wasn’t giving up his truth for anything, even though his message had nothing to do with him being in the bottom. The designers took a trip to Bergdorf Goodman’s, specifically their café, Palette, where they met pop artist Ashley Longshore. I was unfamiliar with her work, but apparently she’s been lauded as the modern day Andy Warhol. The 2-day challenge was a collaboration with Ashley (who was also a guest judge), where the designers would have to showcase one of her prints. Ashley was thrilled, since she’d never seen fashion done with her art. Each contestant chose a print, starting with Chelsey, who was last week’s winner. Victoria – who’s quickly becoming my least favorite – said she didn’t like flowers (what?) and acted all weird about having to use a print. After they did the usual at Mood, and met individually with Ashley, they dipped into the trim cart, which generated a lot of excitement. Afterwards, Ashley sent them an awesome dinner spread, and they did some runway walks for each other. Dayoung was sick again, but saw a medic, and soldiered through.

Besides Dayoung being under the weather, Marquise probably fared the worst, since he scrapped his original idea of pairing the print with a metallic fabric. He felt it made his jacket and skirt ensemble too busy, and used white for the top, gracing it with some sparkly bumblebees (or something) from the trim cart. This would have been fine, but he had difficulty with placing darts, and it ended up looking ill-fitting, and bunched in the wrong places. His solution was to ask the model not to remove the jacket, and keep it as closed as possible.

Sergio was sure he was the winner, with a cocoon coat that would reveal a strapless dress designed to symbolize a butterfly. His tribute to the trans community. His win was not to be, however, and he actually got pissed off about being in the safe group. Everyone else thought safe was just fine.

In the top three, Delvin got high marks for his fitted pantsuit, including a matching belt with a circular buckle, which I loved. Even better, Delvin was a happy man, and it showed. Karlie pronounced it very Versace, and Brandon said Delvin’s strongest suit is tailoring, adding he should stay in his lane on that one. It would make him recognizable in a sea of crap. After Delvin’s accolades, the judges did us a dirty by leading Victoria, and us, to believe she was on top, when she was really on the bottom. It was a very early season American Idol moment. I have to admit, although I was surprised, I was glad, because when her model came out, all I could think was, what is that? A pair of pants using the print, and a white top with her usual asymmetrical, cut-out style, all dripping with hardware. She said she was afraid of prints, and hated that she didn’t know what she was doing. Ashley thought it was cool, but not a banger, but Brandon said it best by telling her, you can kill it with the hardware, or kill it with the hardware. No surprise, Victoria wasn’t happy, and no doubt it killed her that she used her extra time to help Dayoung, who ended up in the top three, presenting a paneled dress with an Asian inspired vest overlay. Nancy was at the bottom as well, having designed an over-sized pants and jacket combo that Nina said swallowed the model. The judges liked it better with the jacket off, and also marveled at the hidden wine, phone, and dildo pockets, but it wasn’t enough to keep her safe. Marquise’s darts, as well as overuse of the print, landed him in the bottom – Brandon saying they were at a point where everything needed to be perfect – and Brittany’s gorgeous creation, cold-shoulder, asymmetrical dress, with 3-D butterflies attached, placed her in the top three. Nina said Brittany’s dress was what a successful collaboration looks like; the artist is celebrated, but the designer is still seen. Victoria pouted about being in the bottom, saying she didn’t like to lose.

When the designers were discussed, Brittany was clearly Ashley’s favorite. She said Brittany had brought her artwork to life, and Nina again said it was a true collaboration. She said she didn’t recognize Victoria’s design as her, and Elaine pointed out that it was the second week that Victoria disregarded the challenge. They agreed that when Victoria is given narrow parameters, she loses herself. Brandon thought Marquise’s darts were unforgivable, and Elaine said that Nancy didn’t know the difference between over-sized and too big.

Brittany was the big winner, Ashley saying her design is what partnership is all about. Victoria was deemed safe, but still brooded when she went backstage, refusing to talk to anyone. I was sure Nancy was going to get the boot – not that I wanted her to, but I thought Marquise’s past accomplishments might save him. Instead, it was Marquise who was out because of construction issues the judges couldn’t get past. Marquise said it was a blessing for him to have made it this far, being self-taught. Nina said he was going to make it, and he said he thought he’d be going home on day one. The opposite of Victoria, he told everyone, no tears, Christian assured him that his work was amazing, and at this point in the competition, the judges were being nitpicky. In his exit interview, Marquise said he wanted to give other self-taught designers hope to go for it. He wanted to show himself to the world, and he did.

Next time, the designers are challenged to make an editorial look, Dayoung has another emergency, and Victoria walks out

🎨 A Palette Of a Different Color…

Where food, fashion, and art meet.


✂️ Cutting It Short…

Regardless of GH’s status, I’ll spill some tea tomorrow, and whatever I can find out, I’ll pass along. I have to get up early, so I might as well take advantage of an early night. Since I usually average about five hours.

Pretty soon, we’ll need to send out a search party for Sonny.

January 22, 2020 – When Will It End, Changes, You Can Dress Them Up, Soon To Come, Nora, Deckwads, More Goodbyes, Yet Another, Breaking Meghan, AMC News & Hazy


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

GH was once again preempted for what I like to call, oh my God is this guy still talking? At this point, I have no clue what’s going on with this it, and don’t think they do either. While yesterday’s episode was supposed to shown today, it was noticeably absent. The magic of the internet failed as well, since it was stuck on yesterday’s episode. If anything pops up before I go to bed, I’ll post it, but if not, here’s the link to yesterday if you didn’t catch it:

Here’s a kind of, sort of, not really explanation:

🤷🏻‍♀️ I am no good with a spontaneous change in schedule, especially if it involves free time. Not that there is ever any free time – it’s like extra money, always absorbed by a need. Since I went to bed at the crack of dawn, when I realized GH wasn’t happening, I figured I’d catch it online later, took a nap, and overslept. Then I made my uneventful attempt to find it, and realizing for a second time that it wasn’t going to happen, watched a documentary about Courtney Love. Very productive.

🏖 On The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa tried to guilt Marge about not inviting her to the Mother’s Day brunch. Jackie’s house in the Hamptons is gorgeous, and reminds me of some of the houses here. Not mine. Jackie talked to Teresa, saying Marge didn’t expect her to drop Danielle, but at least have her back about Danielle trying to yank out her ponytail. Marge told Teresa that Charles Manson never did anything to her, but she’s not bringing him into the friend group. This might have been a good analogy had Teresa known who Charles Manson was. In her interview, Melissa informed us that historical figures were not Teresa’s thing. I’m not so sure there’s much world knowledge that is her thing. When Marge demanded to know why Teresa didn’t tell Danielle to knock it off, it was too much for Teresa’s brain, and she had to walk away. It always amazes me how much these women pack for a weekend, but then again, I used to bring at least five pairs of shoes for a weekend at the Shore because you never know. Now I live here because I’m destined to live in tourist traps. But I digress.

The women went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. Not-so Juicy Joe called, and suggested Dolores find Teresa a doctor, so he and Teresa could have a relationship like Dolores and Frank. Teresa told the women that he’d also said she had too much baggage for any man to want her. Jackie talked about her husband signing a prenup because she has family money, which led to Jennifer pumping Jackie for financial information. The next day, they went shopping, and Jennifer split off with Marge to find a gift for Marge Sr. Jennifer told Marge she thought Jackie was stingy, based on the fact Jackie didn’t throw ostentatious parties for her children, and just had pizza like a normal mom. The group reconvened for lunch, and as soon as Jennifer went to the bathroom, Marge had to tell Jackie about the stingy comment. When Jennifer came back, after she got over being blindsided, she told Jackie to take the stick out of her ass and enjoy life. She felt Jackie wasn’t making her children’s experiences memorable. In her interview, Jennifer said if she was getting thrown under the bus, she was taking Marge, and pointed out that Marge said Jackie doesn’t eat. Marge immediately apologized, which Jackie said was the difference between a friend and an a-hole, but Teresa felt a friend should speak their mind. Jackie suggested Jennifer not come to any more of her parties if she was so bothered. Melissa said Jackie was a saver, and to watch whose kids were nicely set up years from now. Of course this was in a restaurant where people were watching, and ended with Jennifer tossing glassware, and Melissa getting to her feet. To be continued…

📺 On last night’s HAHN, an ad for the new season of If Loving You Is Wrong said, coming soon. Whatever that means. I suppose it all depends on your definition of soon. The definitive word on The Shahs of Sunset is that returns on Sunday, February 9th at 9 pm. You can read all about the coming drama here:

🗽 I caught Awkwafina’s Nora from Queens, and loved it. Reminiscent of Margaret Cho’s All American Girl, but grittier and with more weed.

🛥 A Nail Gets Hit On the Head…

I couldn’t believe what an accurate description this was of the d-bags dudes on Below Deck. Not Captain Lee – it’s never Captain Lee. The best quote: Kevin’s back went out because his skeleton can’t even support all the sh*t he talks. Sounds about right.

🌠 Because It’s Hard To Let Go…

Another roll call. I don’t know why, but I can never get enough of these.,%202019_08_30_27

👋🏽 And So It Begins…

One for the coming roll call. Blessed are the cheesemakers, and RIP Brian’s mom.

👠 Lookin’ Bad As Hell…

Girlfriend needs to pull herself together, eat something, and dust her shoes of this guy for good.

🎭 Like It’s Not Crowded Enough…

It’s like feast or famine with the programming. Right now, Tuesday is a battlefield, and it looks like Sunday will be joining it soon. Fans of the Dead will be thrilled, but AMC has some great entertainment to come in general. I am wondering how NOS4ATU got another season though. Not that it wasn’t good, but I thought that was the end of the story.

❄️ Still Waiting…

I feel like Charlie Brown on Halloween, everyone gets snow, and all we get is a lousy bag of rain.

January 21, 2020 – No Trial Soap For You, Jim’s Kidnap Plot Thickens, Tom Rains On Stassi’s Book Signing & Morning Gibberish


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


GH was preempted in the US today. SPOILER ALERT – here it is anyway. I’m guessing this will be shown tomorrow, but it looked like a last minute decision today, so who knows?

General Hospital

Mike tells Sonny, nice place, as they walk into a bar. Sitting at the bar, Jason sees a guy with a gun, and yells for everybody to get down. There’s a bunch of shooting, all at the same time in various locations with various characters ducking and running for cover. Question mark over my head.

Sonny walks into a bar with Mike and Jason, which is not the beginning of a joke. Mike says his back hurts, and asks what the place is. Sonny says he heard there was great pastrami there, and thought they’d have lunch. Mike flirts with the waitress, who goes to get him coffee. He says, she’s a firecracker. Sonny shows Jason a table, and says Mike used to sit there. Jason asks if it was his betting office, and Sonny says, pretty much. He thought bringing Mike there might spark something, but it’s different now. The chances of having an incident there are high. This has to work.

Michael sees Josslyn on the docks, and thanks her for meeting him there. He knows it’s random, but he’s meeting the mayor there. She asks what’s so important he had to meet in person. He says he’s moving Nelle into the Quartermaines. Josslyn says, oh hell no.

At the MetroCourt, Nelle tells Carly, it’s a bond that can’t be broken; once you conceive a child with someone. Michael wasted no time asking her to move in. Carly says she heard about Nelle’s little stunt at the hospital. Nelle asks if she’s referring to her how she survived a brutal attack by Ryan, but Carly says she meant Nelle’s run-in with Wiley. They both know she’s not the maternal type. Nelle says she’s just being cruel. It’s been over a year, and she still aches for her son. Carly tells her, mention Jonah one more time, and see what happens.

Sasha and Willow sit at one of the tables, and Sasha says, so that’s Nelle. Willow says, lovely, isn’t she? Sasha says she’s glad Nelle won’t be anywhere close to Wiley, but Willow says she’s freaking out. Brad is completely off the rails, and now he’s solely responsible for Wiley’s well-being. What is she going to do?

Lulu asks if Charlotte had fun at Crimson, and Charlotte says, the best. Nina says they made her work, and Lulu suggests Charlotte clean up and they can head out. Jax says, she’s an art director in the making. Lulu thinks Valentin’s arraignment is happening as they speak, and asks how Nina is. Nina says she’s fine, and Lulu says she thinks Robert’s goal was to get the judge to deny bail. Hopefully, Nina won’t have to worry about him showing up, and Lulu won’t have to worry about him sniffing around Charlotte. It won’t be a problem once she gets full custody. Nina ask if Lulu thinks keeping Charlotte away from Valentin is a good idea. It seems extreme, and they can all agree that Valentin and Charlotte love each other. Lulu says, of course (🍷), but Valentin has a funny way of showing it. Nina thinks it might do more harm than good, but Lulu says they’ll cross that bridge when they come to it. Right now, all she cares about is keeping her daughter safe, and that can’t happen if she’s with Valentin.

On a private plane, Ava tells Nikolas she can practically hear him brooding. He says he’s sorry he’s not over his son cutting him out of his life a couple of hours ago. She says, Spencer is furious; maybe even hates Nikolas. He asks if that’s supposed to make him feel better, and she says she’s been there. Suck it up. Spencer is alive, which means he still has a chance to repair the relationship. He says he’s not giving up on his son. Everything he’s done has been for Spencer. She says, it seems to her, everything was done to get revenge on Valentin. He says, to reclaim the estate. He had to protect the Cassadine heir. She says, it’s pretty clear Spencer would prefer he protect his son. He asks if that isn’t the same thing, and she says, an heir is the legacy of a powerful family; a son is a child who needs his father.

At the courthouse, Martin tells Valentin, the judge is running late, but Valentin is just glad to be out of the cell. Martin is hoping the judge grants him bail. Laura appears, and says as someone who’s up for attempted murder, and has the means to disappear, she doesn’t think so. Valentin asks if she’s there to exert undue influence on the court, but she says she doesn’t need to. He’s the one who tried to kill Ava, kidnapped Charlotte, and committed fraud. He says, none of that is true; he was taking Charlotte to a hotel. She says, what about evading arrest? and Valentin says he wasn’t. He had no reason to believe he’d be arrested. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Robert comes out with a paper, and asks Martin, what’s this? Martin says, a motion to dismiss. The attempt on Ava’s life never happened.

Sonny tells Jason, it’s Mike’s last shot. Jason says Sonny has done everything he can do. Now it’s up to Mike and the treatment. Sonny says he knows Alzheimer’s doesn’t take any orders, and if Mike is too far gone, he’s too far gone. But he’s worried about Mike spending the night in the clinic. Jason says at least it gave them an opportunity to call a meeting. Sonny showing up in Brooklyn wouldn’t have looked good if he didn’t check in with the five families. I laugh because that sounds so stupid – like five cheese pizza or something. Sonny says, not that he’s crossing any borders, but him being in Brooklyn could be misinterpreted. I laugh again, since that’s stupid too. Sonny is from Brooklyn. Who wrote this? Mike comes back and says Maggie told him that his coffee is on the house. He’s still got it. Sonny says he does.

Nelle says, just because Carly is angry that Michael still has feelings for her… Carly tells her, give it up, and Nelle says, no. Carly says, having Nelle out in the world again is unsettling and painful, but what she’s not getting is, the crap she pulled last time isn’t going to work. They all know her act. That’s what’s going to drive her straight back to Pentenville.

Willow tells Sasha, technically, she has no legal rights to Wiley. She signed the adoption papers, and Wiley is Brad and Lucas’s son, but when she was considering them as parents, Lucas was always the winner in the dad department. He was the responsible one, the dependable one. Brad is nice, but he almost let fresh-out-of-prison Nelle move in with him. What does that say about his mental state? Sasha says Willow is afraid of what happens if Lucas never wakes up, and Willow say she’s terrified. How can she be okay with Brad raising her son on his own?

Josslyn asks if Michael is insane. Whatever strategy he thinks he’s working, this is Nelle they’re talking about. He says he’s aware… and she says, that Nelle is a complete psycho?  And a liar, and a killer? The last time he tried to work a strategy on her, his car ended up on the side of the road, and he almost died. Nelle is evil, and will kill him if she gets the chance, because he’ll never love her, and Nelle will never accept that. She’s sorry, but he can’t die.

Nikolas says, growing up with his mother and uncle, he was always taught to put the Cassadines first. His worth was based on being the prince. Ava asks if he liked that, and he says he hated it. He didn’t realize he was treating Spencer the same way. She says she never managed to learn not to put herself before her own child. She let her own desires come between them again and again. She thinks if she’d put Kiki first, her daughter might still be alive.

Laura tells Martin, that’s absurd. Everyone at Windymere saw Nikolas carry Ava in, soaking wet, and they both say Valentin pushed her off the parapet. Martin says, they also saw Ava drink her body weight in vodka. As for Nikolas, the court is supposed to take the word of a man who pretended to be deceased for three years, so he could get revenge on the man he’s accusing of this crime? Valentin thinks the term he’s looking for is, unreliable witness. Martin says, once the murder charge is dismissed, there’s no reason for no bail. Laura says, he’ll run, but Martin says Valentin will voluntarily give up his passport. Robert says he’s got a closetful of them. Valentin says he’s not going anywhere. Not without his daughter.

Lulu helps Charlotte on with her coat, and sees the chopped up picture of Sasha. She asks, what happened there? and Charlotte says, Nina did it. She goes to say goodbye to Nina, and tells Nina that her papa had Butterscotch moved to mainland. She asks if Nina wants to come with her to the stables; they can ride like they used to. Nina wishes she could, but she has to work, and says maybe another time. Charlotte hugs Nina, saying she loves and misses her. Nina says she feels the same, and Charlotte leaves with Lulu. Nina tells Jax that Charlotte is sad and lonely because of the choices she made. He looks at his phone, and wonders what’s taking so long.

Mike chats with Maggie about the Mets, and Jason says he’s in a better mood than when they got there. Sonny hopes there’s a good looking nurse at the clinic. His dad is golden when he turns on the charm.

Nelle tells Carly, she’s never going back to Pentenville, and Carly says, sure she is. Nelle asks, why? Because Carly says so? Carly says, no, because crazy rolls off Nelle in waves, and she can’t resist doing something evil and stupid that will come back to bite her. She’s going to do it to herself, so go ahead, plant herself at the Quartermaines. It’s just going to be entertaining. Nelle in the same house as Monica, after trying to kill her beloved grandson? They’re going to treat Nelle like the trash she is, and Carly can’t wait to watch.

Sasha tells Willow to just find the action she needs to take. They’re all there to support her.

Michael tells Josslyn, he’s a grown man who can take care of himself. Wiley is a baby, whose whole world is spiraling out of control. She says, no one knows what’s going to happen with Lucas, and Michael says, the one father Wiley can depend on is absent, and he’s left with Brad, who wasn’t steady to begin with, and now he’s unraveling. He was going to let Nelle move in with him and Wiley. Josslyn says, never, and he says now she understands why he had to move Nelle in with the Quartermaines. It’s the only way to keep her away from Wiley. She says, wrong. She has a better solution. Take Wiley away from Brad.

The guard tells Robert, Judge Vasquez will be ready in twenty minutes. Laura says she has an important meeting to go to, and Valentin says she’ll be missed. She says if he wants Charlotte to come through this whole, he should start cooperating with her. She’s the voice of sanity. He suggests she act like it, and call Lulu off. He doesn’t want his daughter to be a casualty in the never-ending war with the Cassadines. He knows they agree in wanting Charlotte to be happy, so no matter how much he and Lulu despise each other, they’re going to have to find some common ground. Charlotte is more important than that. Laura tells Robert to let her know how it goes, and leaves.

Nina asks Jax what he means by it’s taking too long, and he says, if he told her, it wouldn’t be a surprise. She says she’s had enough surprises in her life. He says, too late, and a server brings in a room service table. She says he’s come full-circle with the champagne, and he says he had the cheese flown in from Switzerland. She says, of course (🍷) he did. He says he’s not making light of her situation or feelings, but believes there’s a lot to celebrate. He opens the champagne.

Nikolas says he’s sorry for Ava’s loss. She says, and for exploiting it when he haunted her? He says, yes. It was a terrible thing to do. Being away from Spencer was torture, but he could hold on to his fantasy of their triumphant reunion, but she’s right. He still has a chance to be with his son. The thought of him being gone for good… She says, it’s a pain no parent should have to bear. He’s sorry she has to carry that, and she says she knows the perfect way he can make it up to her. Sign the post-nup.

Nelle tells Carly that she remembers that day at the police station vividly. The hatred in Carly’s eyes, and the vitriol Carly spewed at her. But what she remembers the most is how smug Carly was. Who’s laughing now? She has 5% of the ELQ shares and her own room at the Quartermaines. The best part is, she didn’t have to be rescued. She did it on her own. Carly tells her not to exaggerate. She had help; Shiloh and Ryan. Nelle says Carly doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about. Carly doesn’t know what she can do, what she’s done, or how she can blow Carly’s entire world apart. Carly says she’s not listening to Nelle’s delusional babble. She has errands to run. Nelle ponders the word errands.

Josslyn tells Michael, if Lucas doesn’t wake up, and everyone agrees Brad is a crappy father, Wiley’s real mother is right there. Have Willow revoke the adoption and take Wiley back. Wiley will be safe, and Nelle won’t have to live with the Quartermaines. Problem solved. Michael says, that’s not the way it works. Adoptions are legally binding. You can’t just change your mind. Willow chose Brad and Lucas as birth parents, and Brad is Wiley’s father. They have no choice but to help and support him. Josslyn says, that is such bull. Lucas chose Michael to be Wiley’s godfather so he could protect Wiley when Lucas couldn’t. Ask himself what Lucas would want him to do. Laura arrives, and Josslyn says she has to run, and tells Michael think about it. Laura asks if he’s ready to talk waterfront renovations.

Jason tells Sonny, the biggest regret of his life is how hard he was on Alan. He wouldn’t let Alan in, even though he tried and tried. And then he died. Sonny says, it’s not like Alan didn’t make mistakes, and Jason agrees he did, but for a lot of years, Sonny was way more mad at Mike than Jason was at Alan, and he was able to overcome it. He was able to reach out to his dad and take care of him. He wishes more than anything he would have been able to give Alan one tenth of what Sonny has given his father. He can never make that right again, and wants Sonny to know what he’s doing. Mike might not understand, but Sonny is a good son, and he’s giving Mike everything he has.

Ava tells Nikolas, she won’t hand over the original codicil until he makes their relationship official. He thought that’s what marriage did. She laughs, and says they’re not exactly a conventional couple. Their relationship will be fluid, a partnership. He says she forced him into this position, and now expects him to work with her. She doesn’t see why not. She helped him with Spencer, didn’t she? She doesn’t want to tear him down; she wants to see him on top, and wants to be right beside him. They’re both smart, some would say ruthless, and she thinks they’d make an incredible team. All he has to do is sign. She hands him a pen, and he says he’ll do it. On one condition.

Nina asks what they’re toasting, and Jax says he told her when people get their hearts broken, they can either wallow in it or choose the fun side of the island. It was easy for him to say, but it occurred to him that she might need a tutorial on the good side of life. She says, this is it? He’s the most arrogant man she’s ever met. Good thing he’s cute. He says he’s had his share of setbacks and broken dreams, but he realized there’s a choice. You can let it hold you back, or you can move forward. The only thing they’re in control of is their attitude. They toast to moving forward. He says, so she thinks he’s cute?

Lulu runs into the courthouse, and asks Robert if she missed it. He says, the judge saw fit to grant Valentin bail. He dropped the attempted murder charge for lack of evidence. She says, what about the other charges? and he says, all non-violent. Valentin comes out, and Robert tells him, congratulations. He saved his own butt again. Valentin asks Lulu how Charlotte is, and she says none of his business. He says she’s his daughter, and they still have joint custody. That means he can see her whenever he wants to. She says not after she files a restraining order against him.

Mike talks to Maggie about the old days, and taking his son for a root beer float for breakfast. It was their secret. She says his son was a lucky kid, and Mike says he was a lucky dad. Sonny asks if Mike is bothering her, but she says is he kidding? She spends her days waiting on rude, bored, pissed off people, and he’s a real charmer.

Laura tells Michael that she’s envisioning a public and private sector initiative. They’re going to make the run down area inviting, welcoming, and most of all, safe for the citizens of Port Charles. That means it has to be more than parks and gardens. She wants restaurants and shops. She wants it to be beautiful and useful. He says it’s an ambitious plan, but is she sure she wants to go all the way to Pier 55? Maybe they could just look at the first fifteen piers or so. She says she respects his wanting to leave part of the waterfront… untouched. She thought of that herself, but her concern about that is, the part that hasn’t been renovated wouldn’t be safe unless they do the whole thing. It’s a worthwhile project, and she hopes ELQ will get behind it.

Carly tells Gladys that she has to get some paperwork, and they can head over to the warehouse.

Nelle catches Willow on her way to the elevator, and asks if she’s going to Brad’s. She commends Willow, spending time with the child she gave away. She wonders if every time Willow leaves, she feels like she’s giving him up all over again. Willow gets in the elevator, and says she’s heartbroken that Michael had to lose his child, but she’s increasingly grateful that Nelle isn’t a mom. The elevator doors close, and Nelle says, bitch.

Nikolas tells Ava, an open marriage won’t work. He doesn’t want people to think she’s cheating on him. She has to appear like a doting wife. She says she’s not having sex with him. If that’s a condition, she’ll burn the codicil the first chance she gets. He says he’s not interested in sleeping with her either. He just wants her to be faithful. She asks if it’s the middle ages. He says he doesn’t trust her not to trash his reputation. A man whose wife is cheating on him is seen as weak. She says, an infidelity clause. She assumes it doesn’t just apply to her. He says, so they’re agreed. If she cheats on him, she gets nothing. She says, and if he cheats on her, she gets 90% of his assets; 10% for the little guy. She says, deal? and they shake hands. She guesses they’re stuck with each other, and toasts to a long and chaste partnership.

Valentin tells Lulu, all this time, she’s accused him of being evil incarnate for killing Nikolas, but he didn’t kill Nikolas, did he? Her brother is alive and kicking. She says, no thanks to him, and he says, now she has to come up with a new excuse to take away his daughter. He’s not going to allow Charlotte to be poisoned by her particular brand of lunacy. Do her worst. Bring it, because he can handle her. Lulu stomps off, and Martin says, that looked tense. Valentin says, Lulu wants to issue a restraining order, and Martin says, they’ll crush it this afternoon. Valentin says, why not now? and Martin says he has an important probate hearing about Shiloh’s will. Nelle is anxious to submit her claim for the ELQ shares. Valentin says, she’s been a useful distraction. The Quartermaine and Corinthos families are in a spin. Martin says if Valentin hadn’t insisted, he wouldn’t have taken her case. Valentin asks if Nelle has any idea Martin isn’t working for her, but for him, and Martin says, not a clue.

Nina tells Jax about going to a party in the Hamptons and meeting a boy by a cheese plate. They danced under the stars, and it was breathtaking. He suggests they dance there, and holds out his hand. She takes it, and he spins her around. They dance, and she asks if there’s anything he can’t do. He says fly a spaceship, but he wants to learn. She’s liking this fun side of the island, and he tells her stick around; it gets better. He kisses her.

Sonny tells Mike, they have stuff to do, but they can come back. Maggie says it was great meeting him.

While Laura takes a call from Robert, Sasha shows up, and asks if Michael is still at his meeting. He says they’re taking a break. He sees she made a decision, and she says she accepts his invitation to move in. He says he thought she wasn’t sure, but she says that was before the whole Nelle thing. She wants to help. Michael shouldn’t have to deal with Nelle alone.

Gladys looks around the warehouse, while Carly checks some paperwork. Tony comes out, and Carly tells him that Sonny signed some things and asked her to drop them off. Gladys has wandered into another area, and Tony asks her to step away from there.

Mike tells Sonny, it’s a nice place. Sonny thinks so too. Jason sees a guy at the bar with a gun, and yells, everyone get down! The guy starts to shoot.

Josslyn says she lost her journal, and looks around. A guy pops out from behind a wall, and she yells for Michael to watch out. The guy starts shooting.

Another guy starts shooting at the warehouse. Tony pushes Gladys out of the way, and Carly dives behind the bags of coffee.

At the pier, Laura runs toward Josslyn, and gets hit.

No previews on the video I saw.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Kathryn says she can’t believe she’s getting arrested, and George tells her, he can’t say he’s sorry. This is for Jennifer. Kathryn says she has nothing to do with it, and George asks why Jim had his assistant try to steal evidence. She tells him to ask Jim. Arrest Jim, if he’s still alive. He asks if she wants to answer questions there or at the station. She says she was just shot at, and he’s doing this now? Hanna tells her, calm down, but she says she won’t. Hanna tells her, it’s okay, and Kathryn asks if George realizes the power she has in this town. George says, it doesn’t matter. She says she’s a wreck. Her son just tried to kill them, and he’s arresting her. The officer tells her, don’t resist, and Hanna says, just go with them. Kathryn says she’ll resist all she wants to. She’s Kathryn Cryer, and she’ll have all their jobs. Hanna follows as she’s led away.

Outside, the reporters clamor for a story. Wyatt tells Kathryn, he let her live tonight; remember that. She tells him, remember he’ll live to regret it. He asks why they’re arresting her, and George says for Jennifer’s murder. Wyatt says, finally, and Kathryn says he’ll be sorry. He needs to pay for what he did. He says she’s paying for what she did to Jennifer, and she says he’ll be paying for the rest of his life. He says he’s been paying for it since birth, bitch. Kathryn is put in a police car, and I’m surprised the reporters aren’t tripping over each other to get photos.

The car pulls away. Wyatt calls Hanna over, and asks her to pray for him. She says she will, and he suggests she pray to him. He was God tonight. She says, no, he’s not, and he says he killed that bastard and let Kathryn live. If that’s not God, he doesn’t know what is. Hanna says he needs help, and he says she should be happy he killed that bastard. Both her and Benny should be happy. She says she’s not, and he says he let Benny live. She asks what he’s talking about, and Wyatt says he heard Jim was going to have Benny kidnapped until he got the money back. Hanna asks who Jim would call to do that, but Wyatt doesn’t know. He says he’s sorry; God is tired and doesn’t have time. She says, Lord help him, but he says he’ll help himself. He asks if she wants to know how he did it, and she shakes her head. He says she should have seen Kathryn fall into the tub. The look of fear of death was magnificent. Hanna tells him, goodnight, and walks away. She goes inside and leaves Benny a message to call her. She tells George that Jim was planning on kidnapping her son because his sister has money that belongs to him. George says, Candace? Why would she have his money? Hanna doesn’t know, and says she was planning on giving it back. She asks if her son is in danger, but George doesn’t know. She leaves another message for Benny.

Candace gets a call from Hanna, who asks where her brother is. Candace says, out with Mitch. Hanna asks if they said where they’re going, but Candace says, they weren’t specific. Hanna tells her that Jim was going to have Benny kidnapped until she gave him the money. She wants Candace to find her brother, and Candace says she’ll call Benny and Mitch. She tells Hanna not to worry, and Hanna says, that man is crazy. Candace asks how Jim is, and Hanna says, he was shot. They took him to the hospital. Candace tells her that Benny is with Mitch; no fool would bother them. Mitch is a Malone, and that name sends people shaking. She’ll find Benny.

Charles looks at Candace’s phone number, and moves on to Gretchen. She asks how he is, and he says, not so good. She asks where is he? and he says, in Detroit. She says she’s on her way. He’s been on her mind. He says he’ll let the Secret Service know she’s coming.

Outside the Cryer house, David goes through the blockade with Jeffrey. He asks George, what happened? and George says, Wyatt shot Jim, and attempted to shoot Kathryn. David asks how Jim is, but George doesn’t know. He asks where Kathryn is, and George says she was just taken to jail for Jennifer’s murder. David asks who can tell him about Jim, and George says there’s an investigator inside, Donnelly. Jeffrey asks Wyatt what he did, and Wyatt says, he did it. He told Jeffrey he was going to, but Jeffrey didn’t believe him. Jeffrey tells Wyatt not to say anything, and Wyatt says, it’s the truth. Jeffrey says they’re going to take him to jail, and Wyatt says, good. He’s sick of this life. Jeffrey says, at some point, Wyatt is going to realize what he’s doing. Wyatt yells, he shot Jim Cryer.

David asks Donnelly how Jim is, but Donnelly isn’t sure. David asks if Jim is in the hospital or morgue, and Donnelly says, he went to the hospital. David wonders where Wyatt got a gun, and Donnelly says it was an old model shotgun. Jim’s only saving grace were that the bullets were for quail hunting. It’s still a shotgun blast though. Hanna comes out, and David asks if she knows what happened. She says all she knows is that Wyatt shot Jim, and shot at Kathryn, but didn’t shoot her. When she got there, they were taking Jim out on a stretcher. David asks if he was breathing, and she says they took him to the hospital. David says he’s got to get over there, but Hanna tells him, wait. He and Jim are thick as thieves. Did David know Jim was planning on having Benny kidnapped? Who would he call to do that? David says he doesn’t know what Hanna is talking about, but she says she knows he knows who to call. (Veronica actually might be at the top of that list.) She tells him, leave her son alone, and he insists he doesn’t know what she means. Jim might not be alive, do they need to have this conversation now? She says, damn right. Benny is her son. She knows how David is about his son, and Benny is hers.

Outside, David tells Wyatt, don’t admit anything, and Jeffrey says he told Wyatt to stay quiet, but he doesn’t care. David says he’s going to the hospital to check on Jim. Jeffrey says, what about Wyatt? but David says there’s nothing he can do. Wyatt says there’s nothing he can do for Jim either.

Veronica calls Derrick, who looks like he’s less than thrilled to hear from her. He asks if she knows what time it is, and she says she needs to talk to him – not on the phone. He says he’s not coming to her house, but she says, yes, he is. She’ll be waiting. He tells her, suit herself, and she says she’ll see him in thirty minutes. She hangs up, and he says, bitch.

Gretchen tells Charles that she really missed him. He says, it hasn’t been that long, but she says, eleven months. How is he really? He says he’s okay, and she says she saw the news about that girl. How did  that happen? He says, long story, and she says she has all night. She wondered how he got involved with someone like that, and he says he didn’t call to talk about that. He should probably just go to sleep, and she says, let her stay. She can take his mind off her; like old times. He asks if she isn’t dating a guy, and she says they broke up. Charles asks, when? and she says when he called. He hopes she didn’t come because she thought they were getting back together, and she says she came to tell him how much she missed him and wanted him. She knows she can take his mind off whatever it is. She opens her coat, and she’s wearing lingerie underneath it. She walks upstairs, and he follows.

On the phone in his hotel room, Landon asks Adeline if she’ll do this for him. She really is a good girl. He says, come on. He took care of her daughter, and had the story killed. He’s not threatening her, he’s just asking for a favor. Can she fix this? Please? He says he loves her. Drinks on him – forever. He makes a kissy noise into the phone. There’s a knock at the door, and Landon pulls himself together. He opens the door to find Scott. He was surprised Landon called in the middle of the night; the President Elect’s most trusted advisor. Landon thanks Scott for seeing him. He asks how Scott’s wife is, and Scott says, good. He asks how the baby is, and Scott says, beautiful, but Landon didn’t call to talk about that. Landon says, no, and tells Scott, have a seat. Would he like a drink? Scott says, no, and asks, what’s going on? Landon says Scott needs to come clean with him. Scott says, about…? and Landon says, the Attorney General. It’s completely off the record. Scott tells Landon, he has nothing to say about the AG, and Landon says, what about Candace? Scott says he knows nothing, but Landon says Scott knows what happened in Savannah. Scott went there secretly, and knows something is going on. He asks again how Scott’s wife is, and Scott says he already asked. Landon says, is his marriage good? and Scott says, so Landon is playing this card. Landon says, no cards; just honest conversation. Scott says Landon wants leverage, but Landon says he has it already, and Scott says, what does he want to know? Landon asks why the AG is so hot after Candace, and Scott says, she robbed him. She had no idea who he was. Landon says, how much? and Scott says, not even $2000. Landon says, he saw a way to get back at her, and bury Charles. Scott says Landon didn’t hear it from him. Landon thanks him, and says he’s been very helpful. Scott says, that’s it? He’ll take that drink, but Landon says, no. He’s running with this. They’ll talk later. Scott repeats, Landon didn’t hear it from him. Scott says he’ll be calling Landon for a favor very soon, and Landon says he’ll count on it.

Oliver walks into Landon’s room, and Landon says, he just walks in now? Oliver asks if Landon has a new boyfriend, and Landon asks what he wants. Oliver says Charles just called, and wants to see him. (BTW, when anyone talks about Charles, they never use his name, they just say he or him.) Landon says he was counting on that. Oliver says Landon might not want to tell Charles his idea about the girl, but Landon says, watch a master at work. He knows Charles like the back of his hand. Oliver says, so does he, but Landon says he knows him. He calls Oliver a little weasel, and tells him, go to bed. And cut his hair. He looks like a rooster. Oliver says he just got a trim, and Landon says, ridiculous… little bitch.

Benny and Mitch make it rain at the club. Benny wonders where his phone is, and Mitch says he left it in the car. Benny’s worried about his mom, but Mitch would rather look at the girls. Benny says Mitch has his phone, and Mitch shuts it off. He and Benny clink glasses. Mitch says Benny forgot his phone, but he better not have forgotten his wallet. Drinks are on him. They toss some more bills in the air.

A stripper talks to a couple of guys leaning against the wall, and then approaches Benny. She asks if he wants a dance. He says she’s pretty, but he’s good. She says, this one’s free, and Mitch says she’s speaking Benny’s language. She leads Benny to the back, and the two guys watch . Mitch notices them, and watches them watching.

There’s a knock on Broderick’s apartment door. It’s Rocky, who says he brought Broderick’s tally, and hands him an envelope. Broderick says Rocky is still running girls? Rocky tells him, don’t get excited. Business is pretty slow, but he figured Broderick must be out of money by now. Broderick says, quite the opposite. Rocky says Broderick is really going to stay there. What’s he going to do? Broderick says, live it up. He found the deed for the place, and it’s paid for. Rocky doesn’t want to burst Broderick’s bubble (say that three times real fast), but he thinks it could backfire. Broderick says, he’s got this, and asks how things are at the hotel. Rocky says, not bad, but what choice does he have? Broderick asks if the FBI guy has been around, but Rocky hasn’t seen him. There’s been no sign of anyone, so Broderick can come back to work. The two of them running the show would be awesome. Broderick looks in the envelope, and asks if Rocky has heard from RK? Rocky says he told Broderick, RK is long gone. He’s smart. He says he already told Broderick once, be careful. Broderick says, and he already told Rocky once, he’s got this. Rocky says he’s crazy, and leaves.

Charles and Gretchen bask in the afterglow. She says she missed him, and he says he missed her too. She asks why he was with Candace. What was that about? Gretchen suggests Charles call her, and he asks why she’s bringing it up. She says he called her by Candace’s name – twice. Then he tried to cover it. Don’t lie. She knows him. He says he’s sorry, and she says, don’t be. He can’t help where his heart is. The sex was also angry. He was digging into the mattress so hard, he broke two nails. He says, it’s been a long time, and she tells him, just admit it. Why did he call when he wanted to be with her? Doesn’t he want to find out what this is? He asks if she saw the news; she’s a mess. Gretchen says, so is he. He says he managed his mess, but she says Candace doesn’t have the means or resources to manage hers. He says, it’s out now, but she says, he can fix it. Have his guys do what they do. He says Candace won’t see him or talk to him. He was really mean to her. Gretchen says he knows how to turn on the snake charm; she’s there. He says, it doesn’t take much, and she says she’ll remember that. She gets out of bed, and he asks her to stay the night. She says, no; she has to get back to her guy. Charles thought they broke up, and she says, they did. He’s in her bed. She left him to come to Charles. Charles says, cold blooded, and she says, just as he is. He says, daddy spoiled her, and she tells him, don’t blame her because she’s an heiress. He thanks her, and she tells him not to thank her like a whore. Save that for Candace. She puts her coat back on, and tells him, goodbye.

Benny is mesmerized by the booty in his face. The girl asks what he’s drinking, and he says, tequila, straight up. She takes a sip, and straddles him, putting her arms around his neck. Behind his back, she slips something into his drink. He asks why she’s doing this, and she says she’s paying her way through school. He asks why it’s free, and she asks if he’s seen the other dudes out there. She’s doing this for her, not him. He takes his drink back, and she tells him to touch her. He drinks more, and touches more. She throws him back on the bed, and gets on top of him.

Celine sees Jim being wheeled into the hospital, and asks Madison if it’s Jim Cryer. Madison says he can’t tell her, but she looks at the chart in his hand. She says she knows Jim. Madison asks, how? and she says he’s the father of her two sons. He says, sorry, and she asks, what happened?  Madison says, he got shot. She asks if he’ll make it, but Madison doesn’t know. She asks, who shot him? but Madison just shakes his head.

Hanna calls Candace, who’s looking around the club, and asks if she found Benny. Candace says, no. Hanna asks where she is, and Candace says ,where they usually go. She called Mitch, but he’s not answering either. Hanna hopes Benny is all right, and Candace says she’s sure he’s fine. Hanna tells Candace to call her back, and Candace asks where she is. She says she’s still at the Cryer’s. Candace asks if everything is okay, and Hanna says, no. Candace asks how Jim is, and Hanna tells her, go find her brother. Candace says she’s going to try one more place.

There’s a knock at Landon’s door. It’s Oliver again, and Landon asks why he’s back. Oliver says, sorry, and Landon says he thought it was someone else. Oliver says he needs to tell Landon about the drama in Savannah. Landon says, Candace, and Oliver says, it’s the Cryers and Harringtons. There was a shooting; a drive-by or something. What has Landon gotten the President Elect involved in? He’s just saying. Landon tells him to say it on the other side of the wall and down the hall. Oliver leaves, and I realize how much Landon looks like Andy Cohen. He calls Jeffrey, who’s sitting in his car. He says he heard about the drama, and Jeffrey says he’s fine. He and his dad just got out of the hospital. Landon says Jeffrey doesn’t sound good, and Jeffrey says he has a lot going on. Landon says he’s in Detroit with the President Elect, who’s getting ready to move. Landon wishes he was there, and Jeffrey asks if he’s still on that. Landon says, always, and Jeffrey says he’s flattered, but he’s not into Landon. Landon says he knows, and he gets it. Jeffrey says, sorry. He’s got to go. Landon says he just wanted Jeffrey to know he’s thinking about him. Jeffrey thanks him, and Landon drains his glass.

Veronica’s doorbell rings. It’s Derrick, who asks what she needed to talk to him about. She says Derrick’s boy Real gave her up. He said she was the one who had him plant the bomb. Derrick says, why call him? and she says she blames him. Does he want to go back to jail? He says he doesn’t give a damn. He didn’t do anything. She asks if he knows how many people are in jail who didn’t do anything. He asks what she wants, and she says she wants Real’s information. Everyone he loves; his girlfriend, his mama, everything. He says he’s out of that life; do it herself. She asks if he’s forgotten how it goes, and who she is. He’ll do this. He says he knows she’s the whore who sleeps with her clients; the whore who thinks she’s above the law; the whore who hates the gutter so much, she can’t wait to lay in it. She asks if that’s an invitation. Get her the information she needs, or she’ll go after everyone he loves.

Mitch looks around, and one of the strippers asks what he’s looking at. He says he’s checking on his boy. She asks if he wants to go in the back, and he asks if it’s free. She says, no, and he asks why Benny’s dance was free. She says they don’t do anything for free there. She realizes she’s said too much, and Mitch runs into the back. He looks through the rooms, but doesn’t find Benny.

Next time, Jim needs a jumpstart, Veronica visits Kathryn in jail, Candace beats the crap out of the stripper, and Kathryn tells Wyatt he’s going to pay for what he did to his father.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi and Beau make dinner for Stassi’s mom Dayna, and brother Nikolai, who has really grown. Beau refuses to share his secret recipe. Stassi is glad her family is there, since a year ago, it wouldn’t have happened. In her interview, Stassi says, last year, she and her mom had a falling out. Her mom said mean things. We flash back to that, and Stassi says her mother was over-emotional and irrational, and it was too much for her. Nikolai says they could have talked in private. In Stassi’s interview, she says her brother has always been incredibly mature, and we flash back to several examples. She asks if Nikolai has read her book. He says, some of it, and she asks if he read the part where she lost her virginity. Beau suggests skipping that chapter. Dayna asks what their plans are, and Stassi says Beau is going out for boys night, and she’s doing a walkthrough at TomTom for her book signing. In Stassi’s interview, she says, ending the book tour with friends is so special. She doesn’t know if she could have written the book without them. They’ve given her a sh*t ton of material.

At SUR, server Dayna asks Charli what she’s had from the menu. Charli says she’s never had pasta in her life. She has a  theory that pasta is what makes everyone gain weight. Dayna says, yeah, it’s a thing; carbs. Danica joins them, and says she’s heard nice things about Charli from Scheana. In Dayna’s interview, she says, of course Scheana likes Charli. She’s a mini-me. Take selfies, wear dino-stompers, just don’t make me eat pasta. Danica tells them that her ex-boyfriend, Brett was disrespectful, so she pushed him. We see a clip of her telling Lisa that Brett suggested a threesome, so she shoved him. Lisa is sympathetic, but says Danica put her hands on Brett, so they have to suspend her. Danica says she’s picking up shifts, since she’s broke. She’ll be serving tonight. Scheana says she has to pick up her new SUR dress, talk to Max – Dayna rolls her eyes – and then she’s going out. Danica goes to see if her dress is in, and the others laugh about her not wearing a bra. Because we’re fourteen. I don’t even know if a fourteen-year-old would care about that.

Lisa comes into SUR, orders her usual rosé, and tells Brett no soliciting a ménage a trois in her restaurant.  Scheana tells Lisa that she needs to have her SUR dress hemmed, and needs to have a little chat with Max. He made a comment to Brett – the new Brett, not this Brett – that she’s boy crazy. Lisa says, no, but I’m not sure if she’s being sarcastic. In Scheana’s interview, she says Max pursued her, and sent her pages of texts. Now he acts like it’s too much too quick. He did this, not her. Lisa asks if Scheana is concerned about Brett hearing it, and Scheana admits there’s a crush, but she doesn’t want to date him. It upsets her, because she thinks Max should have more respect for her. Lisa tells her, relax. Let it come to her. Scheana says she’s in a weird place in her life right now.

It’s guys congregate at Shelby’s, in an outdoor area. Jax asks about new employee Brett, and how training with Scheana is going. He thought they were dating the way Scheana was hanging on to him. Brett says she wants to see Aladdin with him. Max says, speaking of the devil, and looks at his phone. He says he’d texted something about them going to Shelby’s, and Jax says, why? Max says when they went out, she talked about how she’s freezing eggs, and was off birth control. It got to be too much. In Jax’s interview, he says he hasn’t dated in a while, but if he was on a date, and a girl talked about her effing eggs, he’s pretty sure he’d run. Max says, she’s like a stage-five… and Brett says, clinger. They have a discussion on spooning, and preferring to be the little spoon. In Jax’s interview, he says he likes being the big spoon because he’s a man. He doesn’t know how those emo dudes get any action. Tom says he hopes Stassi and Schwartz figure it out for the book signing, and Jax says he thinks they’re doing a walk-through today. In Tom’s interview, he says what bothers him most is the lack of consideration for him on Stassi’s part. She didn’t ask him; she asked Schwartz.

Stassi and Schwartz check out the outdoor seating area. In Schwartz’s interview, he says the book signing is two days from now. Max has bartenders lined up, and Tom is excited to host. He definitely wants everyone to know he’s the owner. Stassi suggests they do everything outside, and people can get drinks inside. She suggests a table for signing, and Schwartz says they’re collaborating. He tells her, no charge because she’s family.

The guys clink glasses, and Jax says, to many more… Brett says, talks about Scheana. They laugh, and Jax says he wishes they could come to Miami, but his 40th is next. Scheana walks out, and I die laughing at their faces. It’s like someone threw cold water on them. She sits next to Max, and asks if she can borrow him. Why don’t they go do tequila shots? Tom says, okay; let’s do shots, and they all go into the bar. Beau says he feels like he’s in high school right now. I dunno. I thought when you say you’re going to borrow someone, you and the someone are the ones who step away.

Scheana asks Max how it’s going as far as Brett hanging out with the guys. Max says, it’s awesome. Scheana jumps right in, and says, she likes attention, but wouldn’t say she’s boy crazy. And what he’s saying about them hanging out. She really liked him; it was more than a fling, and he owed her respect. She knows he hasn’t been an angel. Last week she found out about several of the girls he slept with. Which is fine; he’s single. You do you.

Inside at the bar, Beau says, poor Max. Brett wonders what they’re talking about

Scheana whips out her phone, and says she’ll read Max a few things he sent to her. Since I can’t possibly type as fast as she can talk, the highlights I get are, he’s obsessed, she’s beautiful, she’s a smoke show, he feels lucky, she’s a good cuddler, he hit the jackpot, and he wants to kiss her more. She says he’s not the person she hung out with at Thanksgiving. She’s not crazy; they had a thing. She doesn’t buy an Apple watch for someone who’s a one-time thing. In Scheana’s interview, she says they went to football games and dinners, and he acts like she doesn’t know him. Dayna might have seen his d*ck, but she’s seen his heart. He can’t say what a  girl wants to hear just to get laid. She tells him that he’s become a f***boy, and he agrees. He says he may not have been good to other women, but he never led them on, and he’s sorry he did that with her. Scheana tells him, as a friend, a word of advice – don’t sleep with staff. He says he knows he hooked up with Dayna, but she was in the midst of going from TomTom to SUR, but they’re not dating.

At Villa Rosa, the day of the book event, Lisa reads to Ken from Stassi’s book. Giggy! Lisa reads about Stassi losing her virginity, and how she’d known nothing of grooming her lady parts. In Lisa’s interview, she says she wanted to be there, but has a prior engagement. We see a clip of her getting Puffy’s suitcase, which is teeny tiny. She says, reading about Stassi’s fluffy nether-regions is a hair too much. We see another clip where Brittany calls Versailles, Ver-sails, and Lisa says, wtf is that about?  She asks if Ken can believe Jax is actually getting married. Ken says, Jax isn’t the marrying type, and Lisa tells him, they said that about him, but she took him down. He says he’s a lucky man, and she says he is. Giggy acts all roly-poly, like dogs will sometimes do. Lisa says she’s got to pick up Pandora and Jason, and she’s still thinking about Stassi’s fluffy who-ha.

Stassi tells Beau that she woke up to a text from Tom that he sent at 2 am, and reads it to Beau. Tom says he found out about the book party today, with no word from her. They have no bartenders, and he and Schwartz aren’t bartending, so he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. Don’t put this on him or them, or he’ll literally kick her TF out of TomTom, and all her wristbands. In Stassi’s interview, she says if they had to staff at the last minute, it has nothing to do with her. He’s effing out of his mind. He’s also a liar since we just saw a flashback of him discussing it with Schwartz.

She asks Beau if she responds, and he says, no. She says, what could she possibly say? Why is he so angry? Beau tells her to take a screenshot and send it to Schwartz; see what he says. She says she keeps going over it in her head. She asked Lisa, and did a walk-through with Schwartz. Beau says, there’s got to be an explanation. In his Instagram stories, he posted about being out with James. James doesn’t like Stassi, so maybe… Stassi says ever since she and Tom met, he’s acted like a psycho ex. If he causes a scene, she’s going to lose it.

Scheana enlists friend Janet’s help in altering her dress. She wants it borderline her ass hanging out. Danica and Charli join them, and Danica tells them that Brett gave her the money she would have made while she was suspended, saying it was all his fault. Then they had sex. They try the dresses on, and modify them. Danica says she never wears underwear at SUR, since she likes the feeling the breeze. Scheana tells them about calling Max a f***boy. She says, they had a thing, but she doesn’t think he prioritized it. Charli says, it was temporary, and Scheana says she bought him a watch. She’s notorious for buying boys presents. She has a penguin. We flash back to her adopting a penguin for Adam. (Later, on Watch What Happens Live, she said the penguin remains in her name.)

Lisa’s business partner Nathalie gives Dayna and Brett employee handbooks, explaining that the books answer questions about who to go to if there are issues. Dayna points out that the books are pink, and asks if that’s Lisa, and Nathalie says, they have to be pink. She leaves, and Dayna asks how Brett’s training is going. He says, Scheana has been super nice, and asks why Dayna is making a face. She says that hasn’t been her experience, and Brett says he doesn’t know how Scheana treats other girls, but she’s the only one he can talk to casually. They’ve hung out, but he told her that he values her as a friend, and doesn’t want to give the wrong impression. Dayna says, he friendzoned Scheana? Did he say, it’s not you, it’s me. Tell her that he did.  He says he didn’t, but had to say something. She crashed boys night at Shelby’s, and asked if she could borrow Max. Dayne wonders why. In her interview, she says she’s new to LA, and Scheana is putting her Scheana spin out there, trying to make people not like Dayna. It’s nice to have someone as a friend. She tells Brett, Scheana seems unstable.

Schwartz thanks his three bartenders for pinch hitting at the last second. JoJo says he’s never been a bartender before, but thinks he can do it. In Schwartz’s interview, he says the bartenders Max had lined up, fell out, and Tom rage texted Stassi like it was her fault. It was a bit of a scramble, but he handled it. These things happen in their industry. Stassi arrives, and there’s already a long line. In her interview, Stassi says she has the best fans. She realizes she said fans, and calls herself a douche. She thanks Schwartz and the bartenders for being there, and tells Schwartz that she’s shook. She has no idea where Tom is coming from. Schwartz says he got bit by a spider, and he’s in the ER – he’s not kidding. In Stassi’s interview, she says, who gets bit by a spider? Was he hanging out in a comic book? We see a comic where Tom gets bit by a spider while out with James, getting turnt. He ends up with the superpower of narcissism, and a mediocre power to rage text. He becomes Sandyman, the world’s most annoying superhero ever.

They set up the book table. Jax says he’s nervous about the bachelor party. In Brittany’s interview, she says it’s two days until Miami, and she wants Jax to have the best time. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s the greatest thing that Brittany doesn’t have him on a leash. Brittany continues, saying, after they’re married, he’s never going to a strip club again. Jax says he doesn’t think it will be the last time.

Schwartz asks if everybody is good. Stassi comes in, and the crowd cheers and chants her name. She thanks them, and tells them TomTom is the best, and they should eat there. She says when she started writing, she was told to write about what she knew, and she knew about being a basic bitch. She reads from her Witches of WeHo chapter, ending with, friends work through sh*t. Which is why she can be best friends with someone who slept with her ex-boyfriend. She says, sorry, to Brittany, who says she’s used to it. Stassi thanks everyone for coming, and tells them, get wasted. Nikolai says he’s proud, and hugs Stassi, and her mom also hugs her. In his interview, Schwartz says, it was a rocky morning, but it turned out great. The drinks are flowing, and everything is going swimmingly. Stassi is happy, and he’s happy. Uh-oh. Here comes trouble – Tom and Ariana.

In Tom’s interview, he says of course he sent Stassi a text message. He was trying to figure out how to make TomTom not look like sh*t. Schwartz asks, what happened? and Tom says at 2 am, he was wondering how he was going to staff the event. Schwartz tells Tom that he said he’d take care of it. Tom says JoJo has never bartended, and David is going to work a 12-hour shift. In his interview, Tom says the bar is never open this early. They can’t have bartenders working 12-hour shifts. Schwartz and Stassi don’t understand, but it could have been avoided if Stassi had come to him. Katie says Tom saying he’d kick her TF out was too aggressive, and Schwartz says, it was childish. Ariana says, what’s childish is to not have proper staff lined up the night before the event. Schwartz says, it’s an echo chamber of negativity.

Katie says, Tom is ruining something great because he can’t stand that someone else is getting the attention. In Tom’s interview, he says they’ve all known him enough years to know his biggest fear in life is coming across jealous. He says only Katie would say something like that. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s not Katie Maloney’s Bar & Grill. Katie tells him not to talk to her like that. Schwartz says, let him talk. Tom created something in his head with limited information. The way to deal with it isn’t rage texting while sh*tfaced. By now, Stassi has come over there, and asks, what’s not okay about a bunch of customers buying drinks? Was she supposed to kiss his ring? She talked Lisa, who owns 90% of the restaurant, and did a walkthrough while he was out at boys night. How dare he? He’s a selfish, egotistical POS. How dare he text her those things? He’s mad because this isn’t about him. It’s not good enough that his name is in lights on the front of the restaurant. She did nothing wrong. Tom says she never does, but she’s already walking away. Tom says that was extremely out of line. Katie and Beau follow Stassi. In the bathroom, she says, it’s bullsh*t. She wanted this to be an intimate thing for the end of the tour. At the bar, Tom tells Schwartz, he thought it was supposed to be 15 people, but Schwartz says, they said 50 or 60 when they discussed it. We see a clip to back that up. Tom tells Schwartz, he can make drinks, but doesn’t know how to staff. Schwartz tells Tom not to belittle him. He handled it, and Tom overreacted. Tom says he’ll come back when it’s over. In his interview, Tom says Stassi has no respect for him as the owner. They’re doing this as a favor, for free. As far as Schwartz goes, they have a lot to talk about. I guess, as owner, he feels that allows him to take irrational anger out on someone who has nothing to do with the situation. Stassi tells Schwartz, she’s sorry she yelled, but Schwartz says she had to get it out. She says Tom has lost his mind, and Schwartz says he’s pissed too. Stassi says she’ll write about it in her next book.

Dayna asks to talk to Scheana, saying she wants a moment to touch base, since this is her last training session. She gets that Scheana and Max are friends, but wants to make sure there’s nothing there. Scheana says they flirt, but that’s just their personalities. She points out that Dayna and Max aren’t dating, and Dayna says, it’s new, and in that awkward stage. Scheana asks if Dayna is going to be pulling over every girl Max talks to, or is it just her. Dayna says it seemed like Scheana was questioning Max’s intentions. In Scheana’s interview, she says it doesn’t feel great watching Max bang all the girls. They used to worry about getting Jaxxed. Now they have to worry about getting Maxxed. Dayna says the only reason she was asking about it is, she wanted to know if it was still going on, which she wants no part of. In her interview, Dayna says she’s excited about Max, but thinks Scheana butting in might have screwed it up. Scheana wants her to feel like just another notch in Max’s belt, which Scheana clearly was. Scheana thinks Dayna is making more of it than there is. She and Max were really a thing, and woman to woman, she thinks Dayna should be careful and guard her heart.

Schwartz and Katie sort of pack for Miami. Schwartz says there are a ton of things that have to be done at the last second. He and Tom have to hash this sh*t out. It’s like a rainy cloud over a huge success. Katie says, everyone was happy, until Tom showed up and started screaming. She tells Schwartz, do what he has to so they can deal with Miami. No one is happy with Tom. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he should be thinking about where to drink Miami Vice style, and what boobies to shove in Jax’s face, but now he’s focused on this sh*t. Katie says, Tom is entirely wrong, and Schwartz says, 100%.

On the phone, Ken says Tom was doing her a favor, and she was screaming at him. He’d have her removed. He says he’ll talk to Lisa. He tells Lisa, Tom is spitting blood. Stassi was screaming at him, and shouting in front of customers. Lisa says, at her own event? That’s not okay. Giggy! In Lisa’s interview, she says she didn’t envisage this problem at a book signing. It’s not New Year’s Eve or Halloween or Pride; it’s a book signing. Ken tells her to speak to the manager. She needs to know the real story. Lisa says, welcome home.

Schwartz brings his own chair to Tom’s house. In Tom’s interview, he says they could have kept the furniture that came with the house, like Schwartz and Katie did, but he wanted to pick out his own furniture. It’s a BYOC situation. Schwartz asks how the bite is, and it looks pretty nasty. Schwartz suggests the venom made Tom go off the rails. Where was his head at. Tom says he found out at noon they didn’t have actual bartenders, and it isn’t okay. Schwartz tells him to chill. It was a low key event, low maintenance. They could have done it in their sleep. In his interview, Schwartz says, in the worst case scenario, he would have hopped behind the bar. Deep in Tom’s subconscious, serving Stassi is so painful, he’d rather kick her out. He says the bigger issue is Tom going apeshit at a friend and client. Tom says she didn’t pay. She also humiliated and made a fool out of him in front of the restaurant. In his interview, Tom says when Stassi screamed at him, it was throwback princess brat Stassi. We see side by side flashbacks. Schwartz says, she was fighting fire with fire, but Tom says, she was fighting fire with an atomic bomb. She said he was jealous, and everyone heard. It made him look bad. Schwartz says, it will never happen again, and Tom says, she’s literally banned. Stassi is to be thrown out immediately if she comes in the restaurant.

Next time, Miami baby, Carter texts Kristen, Dayna tells Lisa some people don’t want her at SUR, Lisa calls Tom to find out what went down at TomTom, and Beau confronts Tom.

🌟 This Is About My Speed…

Not the good morning part, but the nonsense lyrics.

January 20, 2020 – Nina Has a Deal For Sasha, Door Slamming On Deck, Spencer’s Return, Tyler’s Oval & Song For the Day


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Ava tells Spencer, it’s wonderful to see him looking so well. She thanks him for meeting her, and he says the headmaster summoned him; he didn’t have a choice. She says she asked that he not mention her name, since she was afraid Spencer would refuse the visit. She knows the last three years have been difficult. He says she’s the woman who sold him out to his evil uncle, and she says she’s deeply sorry. She hopes he forgives her when he sees all is not lost. Spencer says he’s he lost more than enough; his inheritance, his home, and his father. Nikolas puts his hand on Spencer’s shoulder, and says, he hasn’t lost his father. He’s here.

Laura meets Jax at the MetroCourt, and he says he appreciates her taking the time to meet with him. She says she makes time for all her constituents, even the ones who withhold vital information.

Michael asks what Willow means by Wiley not being safe with Brad. She says she found Nelle there in her bathrobe, looking quite at home. When she got there, Brad seemed nervous, like he didn’t want her there, and two seconds later, Nelle appeared. She said she was staying there, and made it clear that she could give Brad all the help he needs. Michael says, Nelle is wrong about that.

Brad tells Nelle that she can’t take care of Wiley. Lucas’s entire family will be up in arms. Nelle says, contrary to popular belief, Lucas’s family doesn’t run the entire world. Brad says, Wiley’s life has been full of disruptions. He misses Lucas, and doesn’t know her. He knows Willow. Nelle says they just need mommy and me time. As soon as Wiley is back in her arms, he’ll know he’s hers.

Spencer says Nikolas is really there, and they hug.

At the Crimson office, Nina tells Charlotte, it’s the best collage ever. Charlotte thinks they need more pictures. Curtis walks in, and says, no school? Charlotte tells him there was field trip, and she didn’t want to go, so her mom said she could hang out with Nina. They’re working on a collage for Charlotte’s English project. She tells Charlotte that Maxie left some back issues for her, and tells her to go check them out. Curtis says Charlotte seems okay, but Nina says looks can be deceiving. Charlotte has been asking to talk to her father. Curtis asks if Nina has too.

Taggert tells Jordan that he knew she was meant for bigger, greater things, and she says it means a lot hearing him say that. He notices her there’s a ring on her finger, and she tells him that she’s married. He congratulates her, and she says, what about him? How’s his wife? He says, that went south a long time ago, and she says they have a lot to talk about it. He suggests they start with her. Why did she ask him to drop everything and come back to Port Charles?

At the MetroCourt, Gladys tells Carly, it’s too much. A spa day and a personal shopper afterward; how can she repay Carly’s generosity? Carly tells Gladys to focus on herself, and enjoy the splurge. Carly sees Michael, and tells Gladys to pick what she wants off the spa menu for brunch. She goes over to Michael, and asks, what’s going on? Michael says, Nelle is staying with Brad, and she’s expecting to take care of Wiley. Carly says, over her dead body. There’s no way that psycho is getting near Wiley. Michael says, she already is. Willow says, of course (🍷) she’s manipulating Brad, and of course (🍷) he’s letting her. 

Jax says that’s why he wanted to see Laura; to explain and apologize. He repeatedly asked Nikolas to reveal himself to her, but he said if Valentin found out he was alive, it would put her and Spencer in danger. He shouldn’t have been an accomplice for as long as he was, and he’s deeply sorry. Laura accepts his apology. After all, it wasn’t him who broke her heart. It was her son.

Nikolas says he missed Spencer more than anyone. Spencer says he’d pretend Nikolas was away on business, and imagine what they’d do when he returned. Where has he been?

Curtis sees the mock Crimson cover with Sasha on it, and asks Nina what that’s about. She says Lucy is resurrecting her cosmetics company, and Sasha is on board as a partner/spokesmodel. In a bold move, they asked Crimson to partner with them. They did have a clever business plan. He asks if she’s thinking of doing it, and she says she hasn’t made a decision. He asks, why wait? and she says, it’s not personal. She wants to make the right decision. Curtis says, one of the riskiest things when you’re under cover is developing feelings for the mark; you start to questions your loyalty and allegiances. Is she making a shrewd business decision, or is it a way to keep Sasha in her life? They were close, and he doesn’t believe it was an act on either of their parts. Nina misses her. Nina says she misses the idea of having a daughter. He asks if anything that came from her mother was ever true, and she says Valentin couldn’t prove if she did or didn’t have a daughter, and if he couldn’t do it, nobody could. She takes out the half-heart necklace, and says she’s never going to find out if she really had a baby. Um… wouldn’t her GYN know?

Brad brings out Wiley, and tells Nelle that he decided he’s too distracted to work. he suggests she not let them keep her, and go on with her day; enjoy. Nelle asks to hold him, but he says, Wiley has to get dressed. He gets cranky if schedule is interrupted. Nelle says she wants to hold her son, and Brad hands him over. She says, Wiley is right where he belongs.

Laura tells Jax that she’s glad he reached out. She has a good way for him to redeem himself, to her and the city. He says he wasn’t aware he’d wronged the city. She says she wants to renovate the waterfront, particularly the piers above Pier 26. She’s looking for partners in the business sector to get on board and do their civic duty. He says he read about it in The Invader, but she says the article was premature and not placed by her staff. She already reached out to ELQ, and now him. She didn’t think he’d want be left out. it’s going to decriminalize the waterfront for good. Jax says, it’s going to take quite a bit of financing, and she says she’s open to donations. He says, a charming shakedown. Gladys approaches the table, and says, hello. Jax introduces her to Laura, and Laura says Gladys must be related to Mike. Gladys is impressed about Laura being mayor, and says if she lived there, Laura would have her vote.

Willow says, Brad is completely unable to stand up to Nelle. Carly sees Gladys talking with Laura and Jax, and says, you’ve got to be kidding. She says they’re right to be concerned, and tells Michael, if there’s anything she can do, just ask. Right now, she has to handle something else. She goes over to Jax’s table and asks if everything is all right. Laura says, it’s fine, and Gladys says Jax was just introducing her to the mayor. Carly is sure Jax and Laura have business to take care of, and steers Gladys away. Laura says, interesting lady. She’s sure there’s a story there, and Jax says, for another day.

Willow asks where Michael is going, and he says, to get Nelle away from Wiley. Chase says he’s coming too. Half of this is his fault, and there’s no way he’s letting Wiley pay for it. Willow asks Chase to let her know what happens, and Sasha says, her too, and tells them to be careful.

Sasha asks Willow what Nelle is like. It’s hard to believe the creepy stories. Willow says, Nelle comes off all sweetness and light, a harmless waif, but just like that, she’s threatening. Then she says she didn’t mean it; she’s twisted. She even brought up Shiloh when they saw each other. Sasha says Nelle was probably trying to play with Willow’s mind. Sasha’s phone dings, and she says, it’s Nina. Willow asks if  they’re texting now, and Sasha says she and Lucy pitched a partnership with Deception and Crimson. Nina seemed less than thrilled. Willow says maybe Nina wants to tell Sasha that she’s on board, and Sasha says maybe Nina wants to tell her where to stick her proposal. Willow says she’ll go along with Sasha. She needs a distraction.

Nikolas tells Spencer that it was the best thing he could come up with. He had to regain his strength and think of a plan. Nikolas says, for three years he forgot who Spencer was. Nikolas says he was being protective, and Spencer says he stayed away deliberately. Nikolas says, Spencer has to understand he needed to be strategic, and get things in place for his return. Spencer says what mattered was that he needed his father. What could have mattered more than that? Nikolas says his grandfather’s will was illegitimate, and left everything to Valentin. Spencer says he knows. He tried to fight Valentin, but Aunt Alexis said there was nothing they could do. Nikolas says he found a way to take everything back. There’s a codicil that makes him heir again. Spencer says Nikolas stayed away because he wanted his money back. It was more important that Valentin think he was dead than for Spencer to know he was alive.

Jordan tells Taggert that she wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important. She didn’t want to open up that part of her life, and she’s sure he didn’t either. He says he hasn’t forgotten a moment, and she says she needs him to look at something. She hands him Bob’s folder, and says, no outsiders. He says, agreed, and opens the file.

Nina says, sorry; she knows Curtis is busy. He says if she wants to find out if she had a child or where they might be, he’s there for her. She she says, no more searching. She won’t reopen that wound. She and Curtis hug, and she looks at Charlotte. She says, she already has a wonderful daughter right there.

Nelle says, Wiley is so big. She had no idea what the color of his eyes or hair would be. He looks like Michael, but underneath, he’s all hers. She tells Wiley that she’s his mom, but Brad says she’s going to confuse him. She asks Wiley to smile for her, and there’s a knock at the door. She opens it to find Michael and Chase. She tells Michael, they were just talking about him.

Michael says he thought Brad was taking Wiley to daycare, but Brad says, he called in. Nelle says she and Wiley are getting to know each other. Michael says Wiley doesn’t need to know her. He takes Wiley from Nelle, and when she steps toward him, Chase tells her not to get any closer. She asks if they’re not overreacting. They’re acting like she’d hurt a child. Chase says she’s a convicted felon; they’re not taking any chances. She says, Michael is also a convicted felon. Michael asks, what’s her angle? and she says she sees Chase’s girlfriend wasted no time in snitching. Brad is her only friend in town. Where else was she supposed to go? And after what happened to Lucas, who is she to desert a friend in need? She should become Wiley’s nanny instead of Chase’s girlfriend. Chase tells her, leave Willow out of it. She says, Willow is out, and she’s in. Michael says he has another offer he thinks Nelle will have a hard time refusing.

Carly tells Gladys, she’s confused. Gladys says she hates to sound ungrateful, but massages make her claustrophobic. She knows Dev has a part-time job at the coffee warehouse, and asks if Carly thinks she could arrange a tour. Carly says she has to stop by, and Gladys can take a look at it, but there’s not much to see. Is she sure she doesn’t want to visit the spa? Gladys is sure, and Carly tells her to make herself comfortable. She has a few things to finish, and then they can go.

Jax tells Laura, if ELQ is in, he imagines he will be too. Laura says she considers him a decent man. He won’t remain that way if he’s around the Cassadine fortune. Remember that in case Nikolas asks to work with him again. She gets in the elevator, and goes down.

Nikolas tells Spencer that it was torture staying away. Ava says Nikolas was thinking of his best interests. That’s why she’s there. Nikolas had to work in the shadows; to take back what was theirs. Spencer says he needed his father. He broke both legs, and had to stay in the hospital for weeks. Nikolas could have come back any time. Spencer never had to leave home. Nikolas says he’s sorry, and Spencer says he cared more about getting back at Valentin than he did abut loving him. Ava says Nikolas always loved him, and Spencer says he hated Nikolas for dying, now he hates him for not staying dead. Nikolas says he needs some air, and steps outside. Ava says she can see how angry Spencer is, and he has every right to be, but the person he loves most just came back to him. He’s the luckiest boy on the planet. Can’t he see that?

Nina tells Charlotte that she’s good at this. Maybe she should hire Charlotte as her new art director. Sasha and Willow come in, and Sasha says Nina asked to see her. She says hi to Charlotte, who ignores her and asks if Willow wants to see her new school project. Willow says, sure, and Nina and Sasha go into Nina’s office. Nina asks if Sasha felt the need to bring her sidekick along for moral support, and Sasha says Willow was keeping her company, and she does like the moral support. She asks if Lucy shouldn’t be in on the meeting, but Nina says it’s just about them. She looked at the proposal, and it’s good; better than she expected. Apparently Sasha picked up some things working there. She’s decided to move forward – conditionally. Sasha asks what she wants, and Nina says the Deception/Crimson partnership will be launched with an in-depth cover story on Sasha; every aspect of her life. Nothing will be left to the imagination. Those are her terms. Take it or leave it.

Charlotte talks to Willow about horse books, saying she just finished Black Beauty. She says, it was sad in the middle, but at the end Beauty got to go back to where he used to live. All the bad stuff was just a mistake. Everything was fixed in the end. Willow says she likes happy endings, and Charlotte says she does too.

Sasha tells Nina to draw up  the paperwork. She accepts Nina’s terms, and a contract will need to be signed. Nina doesn’t think Sasha understands the terms. They’re going to unearth everything; nothing will be left to the imagination. They’re going to include how Sasha lied to her, and Michael, and Valentin. Sasha says Michael has already forgiven her, and Nina has made clear she never will. She tells Nina, print what she likes. If putting her life on blast helps pay for what she did, so be it. Have a lawyer draw it up. She asks if that’s it, and Nina says she can go. Sasha comes out of the office, and Willow asks if she’s all set. They get in the elevator, and Sasha says, if setting herself up to public shaming is all set, she’s great. She just gave Nina permission to beat her up in print.

Taggert continues to look through the folder, and tells Jordan, it’s crazy. After everything they went through, there’s no way in hell. Jordan says that was her reaction too, but toxicology was specific. He says Bob barely drank, and never went near drugs; it makes no sense. She says, not to her either… unless something worse is going on. He says she’s got questions; he’ll get answers, and she tells him, be careful. Laura comes in, and asks if she’s interrupting. Jordan says they were just finishing up, and introduces Taggert. Laura says she remembers him, and it’s nice to see him again. What brings him back to Port Charles?

Michael says Nelle needs a place to stay. She says she has one, and he says he has a better one. There’s more privacy, and he knows how important that is after prison. Nelle says it’s touching. but why is he offering it to her? They were only married a short time. They did have a baby, but after the tragic circumstances, he’s under no obligation to help her. He says he’s fond of Wiley, and it will keep her away from him. She says, It makes sense. Wiley is the same age as Jonah would be. Chase asks if she cares about Brad. One call to social services from a concerned party saying there’s a convicted killer staying there, and they’ll be nosing around and scrutinizing everything. Nelle tells him to mind his own business, and Michael asks if she’ll take him up on his offer. It more than meets her standards.

Brad comes out, and Nelle is gone. He tells Michael and Chase that he’s sorry how things turned out. Nelle showed up last night. He didn’t agree to her being Wiley’s nanny. Did Willow say he did? Chase says, it’s been a rough morning. They’ll talk later after they decompress. Michael says Wiley is the number one priority. Lucas being in a coma is a tragedy, but it shouldn’t be compounded by putting Wiley at risk. Brad says he didn’t, but Michael says, Nelle is dangerous. She tried to kill him, and she killed Zak. Nelle having access to Wiley is unacceptable. He took an oath as Wiley’s godfather to look after him, and he’s going to do everything to make sure Wiley is safe.

Sasha tells Willow that Lucy thinks the scandal will help Deception launch. It’s her past, and her scandal. She actually does want to live life out in the open, and if people don’t appreciate it, oh well. Nelle approaches them, and says she didn’t think she’d run into a friendly face.

Taggert tells Laura that he’s a lieutenant now. He was passing through, and thought he’d say hi to an old friend. Laura says, they know each other? and Jordan says, it was a long time ago, and Taggert says, almost a lifetime. He says it was great seeing her, and Jordan tells him, don’t be a stranger. He leaves, and Laura asks if they worked together. Jordan says, it was years ago, and Laura says she’s been making good progress on the waterfront. Jax will be on board, providing ELQ is. Jordan says, many a mayor has tried to rehabilitate the waterfront and been unsuccessful. Laura says, they haven’t met this mayor.

Nina and Charlotte work on the collage. Jax walks in, and Nina says she’ll get him the projections. She digs around in the mess on her desk, and says, things have been hectic. Maxie took on a lot of responsibility, but she’s back. The transition is bumpy, but it’s fine. She gives him the projections, and he says he’s sure it will be back to normal in no time. She asks why she gets the feeling that he’s humoring her, and he says, because he is.

Ava says Spencer has always had insight beyond his years. He’s old enough to know parents aren’t perfect, and his father no different. Spencer says his father stayed away; that’s not love. Ava says he stayed to keep Spencer safe; to protect him from Valentin. Spencer says his father could have seen him in France, and Valentin would have never known. Ava says Spencer has a rare opportunity; a second chance with a loved one. It’s a miraculous thing, so many other people would give anything for. Don’t waste it. Spencer says if Ava thinks her heartfelt pleas are going to make him forgive Nikolas, sadly, she’s mistaken. She says she won’t excuse Nikolas, but she’s seen how much he loves his father, and how losing his father affected him. Nikolas loves him, and she thinks it’s time they both stop hurting, and put the anger aside. Let his father love him. It’s so much better than being alone . Nikolas comes back in.

Nikolas says, Ava is right. He has so much to make up for, and he’ll do what it takes. If Spencer lets him, he wants to restore the family. It’s what he’s wanted the whole time. Spencer says he could have had it if he’d come back, but he didn’t. He let Spencer believe he was dead. Spencer has lived every day for the past three years alone because of Nikolas. He built up the memory of a noble prince, but Nikolas is as heartless as Valentin Cassadine,  and his legacy is more important than his son. Stay the hell away from him. Spencer slams out the door.

Nina tells Jax that she just met with Sasha, and decided to take the opportunity to rake her over the coals. This revenge thing is tougher than she thought. Jax says, people with good hearts have a hard time.

Charlotte cuts up the mock Crimson cover with Sasha’s picture on it, and smiles.

Curtis goes to Jordan’s office, and says he thought she could use one of these. He kisses her, and she says, always. They go into the office, and Taggert lurks in the hallway.

Nelle tells Willow, no introductions are needed. She recognizes Sasha from the picture on Michael’s phone. Nelle holds out her hand, but Sasha doesn’t take it. She says she knows who Nelle is. Nelle tells her not to believe everything she hears. They’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other better. Sasha doubts that, and Nelle says the Quartermaine mansion is big, but they’ll run into each other eventually. Michael asked her to move in. Willow says she’s lying, but what else is new? Michael doesn’t want her anywhere near him. Nelle tells her to phone him, and ask him herself.

Chase asks if Michael is sure he should invite Nelle back into the Quartermaine mansion. Michael asks if he’s heard about it being a good idea to keep your enemies close at times. This is one of those times.  He’s going to let her think she’s winning, and when she drops her guard, he’ll drop the hammer. She’ll never see it coming.

Tomorrow, Nikolas tells Ava that he’ll do it on one condition, Willow wants to know how she can be okay with Brad raising her son, and Carly tells Nelle to mention Jonah one more time and see what happens.

Below Deck

Kevin moans while sitting in the crew mess. He tells the captain that he just took a painkiller, and to give it fifteen minutes. Captain Lee says to take as much time as it takes. In the captain’s interview, he says he’s the only one who knows the galley. He’s worked in restaurants, and is good on the grill, but he can’t make a pimple on the ass of Kevin’s preparation and presentation. He tells Kevin, keep him posted. Anchor is dropped and locked. The mystery dude asks Kevin how he’s doing, and what’s the contingency plan? Kevin says, there isn’t one, and goes back to the galley. In his interview, he says he feels a little better. It’s not the ideal state, but he needs to do dinner service. Rhylee says she doesn’t give a flying anymore.

Kevin goes over the dinner menu with Kate. Tonight’s entrée is venison. Alexis and her friends are jammed into the hot tub, where it looks way too crowded to be comfortable. Brian talks to Ashton about Courtney. In his interview, he says he thought it was a step in the right direction, talking about what happened, but Courtney is inconsistent about sorting it out. Ashton tells Brian, it’s a grey area; are they together or not? Brian says he doesn’t want to force anything. Alexis asks if Andrew is getting down on one knee tonight. Subtlety seems to be no one’s strong suit anymore.

In Kate’s interview, she says, Alexis wants an independence themed party to celebrate her divorce and independence. They get it. Her dry humping her boyfriend was their first clue. Alexis tells Kate that they want to eat inside. She doesn’t want to take another shower tonight. Kate says she’s excited, but in her interview, she says she hates it. There’s no room for mistakes when you’re two feet from plating. Kate and the other stews decorate in red, white, and blue, while Kate sings Grand Old Flag. Kevin continues to curse his life.

In Kate’s interview, she says Tanner is cute. He has no shame, but it’s not even creepy. It’s cute. She tells him not to talk to her, and Ashton asks if they’re fighting again. It’s so cute. Boat-mances. Simone asks who Ashton is referring to; Kate and… In her interview, she says she can’t believe this a-hole is doing this. It’s not like they have feelings for one another, but wtf? Ashton asks if she’s okay, and she says, kind of. She wouldn’t have gone there. He asks if she regrets it, and she says she does.

Captain Lee joins the guests for dinner. Tanner tells Rhylee that they should spray down the deck after dinner, but Rhylee thinks they could get ahead by doing it during dinner, since the guests are eating inside. Tanner complains that everything is a problem with Rhylee. Why does her idea always have to be the right one? Ashton agrees that they should wait until after dinner. In her interview, Rhylee says it doesn’t matter whether she’s right or wrong. Kate tells Simone that she’ll be doing cabins, and Courtney will be helping her. In Kate’s interview, she says she never breaks girl code, but Simone and Tanner are no longer hooking up, and Simone has been annoying her, so her girl code is slipping. Alexis says she’s thankful for her life, and loves everyone. Kevin suddenly wants the bisque poured at the table, but Kate says they didn’t discuss gravy boats, and they’re locked away. In her interview, she says this is why they went over this beforehand. In Kevin’s interview, he says Kate would rather float with Tanner and leave him in deep water. Tanner tells Kevin that he’s never going to win.

Simone bitches to Rhylee about Kate and Tanner. Rhylee is surprised to find out Simone didn’t know they had kissed. In Simone’s interview, she says her blood pressure is up. Rhylee says it’s a good thing they didn’t go further. Tanner is a moron. Simone wonders why she’s always the last person to find out about these things. Alexis says it’s the first time she’s had venison, and pronounces it amazing. Courtney kisses Brian, saying she doesn’t want to fight anymore. In her interview, she says she doesn’t like fighting, but she feels like it’s not resolved. She doesn’t want to be acrimonious anymore, and he’s cute. Kate tells Kevin the guests loved the dessert. Simone breaks a glass, and Kate jokes that it’s okay; they only have one more charter. In her interview, Simone says she doesn’t respect Kate anymore. Go ahead and laugh, bitch.

Final day of charter. Kevin says he can bear through it. Brian tells Ashton that he and Courtney made up. Tanner oversleeps, and Ashton finally makes him get up. In Ashton’s interview, he’s concerned about Tanner making it a habit of oversleeping. In Rhylee’s interview, she says she’s at her wit’s end with this crew. She works as hard, or harder, than Tanner, but he’s one of the boys, so he gets away with murder.

Courtney takes breakfast orders, and the guests are happy. The captain asks Ashton how things are going with Rhylee, and Ashton says, much better. They’re great when they all work as a team. Captain Lee is like, wonderful, now that it’s the end of the season. Tanner and Brian are talking on deck, while Captain Lee and Ashton watch from the wheelhouse. The captain tells Ashton he’s going to wait for them to be distracted, and then blows the horn, giving them both a heart attack. He and Ashton laugh their asses off. The captain radios for the crew to put on their whites, and startles the guests with the horn while they have a drink on deck. Luckily, they find it funny. It’s like he just found the horn or something. Kate sees the first boat she worked on, and gets nostalgic. In her interview, she says that boat is the reason she got into yachting. The last time she saw it, she was getting fired in the Bahamas. It’s like seeing a long lost love by accident, out of town.

It’s time for goodbyes. In her interview, Kate says the guests were nice, but she can’t wait to untuck her shirt and stop waiting on people. Alexis says it was the best vacation she’s ever taken, and Andrew gives Captain Lee the tip envelope. The crew has lunch, and none of the guys will slide over to let Rhylee sit. Courtney finally moves over, and Tanner gets up to eat at the counter, saying she can take his spot. In Simone’s interview, she says, they’re like mean kids on the playground. Rhylee eats in her cabin, and Ashton tells the others, it’s like a kid throwing their toys around; don’t pay attention. In Kate’s interview, she says when she started out on this adventure, she was a bad stew. She’s come a long way. She thinks it’s special the boat showed up in Thailand, but she can’t be yachting forever, and thinks she’s ready for a new adventure.

The tip meeting commences, and this time it’s $17,500, or S1590 a piece. The captain tells them to go out for dinner tonight, but they have an early morning with guests at 11:30 am. While she cleans the boat, Rhylee sees Brian and Tanner taking a smoke break. She thinks she should take up smoking. She can have twenty breaks, and alleviate the stress. Ashton whines that her comment isn’t constructive, and she says she was commenting in jest, like the dudes do. Ashton tells her, just calm down before it gets heated, and I desperately want to punch him in the face. He says she has an attitude and isn’t being constructive. He thinks the best thing would be for her to take a break. Rhylee says, the best thing would be for her to clean by herself, away from them. Ashton leaves, and she asks if he’s going to suggest firing her again. He tells Brian and Tanner that he’s done. In Tanner’s interview, he says, Rhylee is like a champagne bottle on New Year’s. She shakes it up, and you don’t know when the cork is going to pop. One more charter, and they’re done with Rhylee. The captain calls Kate, Kevin, and Ashton to the crew mess for a preference sheet meeting.

Captain Lee says their final guest will be sports broadcaster/writer Jamele Hill. It’s going to be an all ladies trip. They love delicious food, so he suggests Kevin feel free to pull out all the stops. She’s getting married later this year, so this is her pre-bachelorette party. They want a 90s theme party, and an all-white dinner party, which the captain is invited to attend. Jamele has requested dirty themed drinks, and Captain Lee asks if they can find those little d*ck lollipops. Kate says, anything for him. They also want a penis cake, and the captain says Kate can give Kevin ideas, harkening back to her talents with towel folding. She says, if it’s standing up, it will be more fun. Captain Lee thinks it’s going to be a great last charter. Kevin can’t believe he has to make a penis cake.

Rhylee tells Simone that she doesn’t think Kate particularly likes Tanner. Simone says she knows he asked Kate out at the beginning. How was she the easy bitch? In Simone’s interview, she says a lot of guys have let her down; her father being the prime example. She tries to be open and let people in, but when she does that in relationships, it doesn’t work out, and reminds her of the pain from the past. She tells Rhylee that she has to see him every day. She thought it was going to be casual, and be done. In her interview, she says she opened herself up to Tanner, and he played her. It’s hurtful and disrespectful. Rhylee suggests she get under someone else.

In the guys’ taxi, they toast to the last charter. They made it. In the other taxi, Rhylee says she thinks she’s underappreciated, and it has to do with one person in particular and their attitude. Kate says, it’s hard to watch it happening. In Kate’s interview, she says Rhylee deserves a chance work with a manger who manages. Ashton is too big for his bosun britches, and he’s not a good leader. Kevin asks if Kate is being too much of a bitch for Tanner. In his interview, Tanner says he wants to get laid; the bitchier the better. He thanks the guys for their support.

The crew heads to a Thai market to get food. A woman walks by with a cat wearing glasses and riding in a snuggly. Rhylee is excited about the market, and wants a scorpion on a stick. In Kate’s interview, she wonders if a scorpion is her spirit animal. They’re nice, then they kill you. Rhylee says it tastes like a corn nut, but saltier. Tanner sees the crickets, and says, Jiminy Cricket. In Kevin’s interview, he says he’s a chef in a Thai market, and if he has a chance to buy insects, he’s going to buy insects. He bogarts the fried crickets. Rhylee keeps trying to get in to order something, and he cricket blocks her. He tells the guys about how he pissed her off, and I want to smack Brian if he says bru one more time. In Rhylee’s interview, she says she’s not stupid. She knows Kevin is talking about her. Ashton anticipates drama? Here comes drama. There are some quick back and forth insults, ending with Rhylee calling Ashton a misogynist pig, adding that he’s arrogant and egotistical. In Simone’s interview, she feels like she and Rhylee are similar, but Rhylee actually says what Simone would like to say. Rhylee tells Kate that she wants to smash Ashton’s face in. Courtney tells Brian not to accelerate the situation, and he asks why she’s taking sides. Rhylee starts to get teary, and walks away, and Tanner says she wants a reaction.  Simone says Rhylee isn’t crying for attention, but because she’s upset. Rhylee tells Ashton, eff off; she doesn’t like him. In Brian’s interview, Brian says that Courtney needs to see that it’s Rhylee stirring the pot. Courtney says he’s allowed to tell Rhylee to calm down, but gets mad at her for doing the same thing he does. He tells her that she’s being ridiculous, and Courtney starts to cry. In her interview, she says she’s not used to someone she cares about being aggressive and yelling at her for no reason; it’s shocking.

Back in the taxi, Courtney wonders why Brian is so mean. Rhylee follows Ashton to the guys’ taxi, and asks if he thinks she should be fired. He says he’s not saying anything. Courtney says, whenever she has an opinion, it’s not valid, but when Brian does, it counts. He’s hot and cold. In Kate’s interview, she says it started off being a nice night eating scorpions, and they ended up with Rhylee in full rage and Courtney sobbing. When Rhylee screams at her, she feels like it’s in a sister way. Rhylee knows she’ll take it. Brian – wait for it – gives out friendship bracelets to all the guys, proving that they really are fourteen-year-old girls. Rhylee says Kate isn’t the one getting the brunt of it, and Kate asks Rhylee to stop talking. They head back to the boat, and Rhylee asks if her time is over to feel bad about how she’s treated. She asks Courtney, what happened? and Kate says, what does she think? She didn’t notice while she was in a blackout rage. Rhylee tells Kate, get off her jock.

Brian asks if Tanner is still going to bang Kate, and Ashton says he’s not getting involved in any more drama. Rhylee says Kate acts like the queen bee. It’s not a not yacht crew; it’s just dumb effing nonsense. Back on the boat, Courtney ignores Brian. Brian tells Rhylee to smile, and I’m shocked she doesn’t deck him (no pun intended) right there. Simone asks how Courtney is feeling, and Courtney says Brian is mean to her about everything she has an opinion on. In Courtney’s interview, she says she’s over it, especially when Brian has been drinking. She doesn’t get conversation; she gets, I can’t believe you did that. He deals with conversations like a toddler.

The guys sit at a table, drinking on deck. As they see Kate coming toward the boat, Ashton says, Tanner has an agenda tonight. Kevin says, he’s on a mission. Tanner says when the Rhylee sh*t happened, he knew that was it. The guys make lewd comments and laugh. Kate comes through, and asks if she can get them something, calling them a bunch of sh*ts. In her interview, she says she can’t her what they’re saying, but she’s been around them long enough to know when her name is involved, she can be pretty sure they’re talking sh*t about her. She slams the door, saying, eff you, and going back inside. Kevin suddenly remembers his cricket purchase, and goes to get them in the galley. Kate tells him, get out of the interior, and won’t let him through, saying, go the long way. In Kate’s interview, she says Kevin has put his foot down, and made an argument out of everything. She heads a department too. Her department is the interior, and he can’t be in it. She slams the door to the galley access. In Ashton’s interview, he says, she’s acting like a little brat. Kevin tells Kate, don’t be dramatic. He goes back to the table, shouting, wake up the captain; Kate is being dramatic!

Captain Lee says, eff me, and comes out of his cabin in PJ bottoms, sans shirt. Kate tells the guys, she walked up on them talking sh*t. She heard them on the dock. Captain Lee walks out, and asks, wtf is going on? Ashton shrugs, and the captain says, no one knows, and he doesn’t want to know. Ashton points a literal finger at Kate, and Captain Lee says, he doesn’t want to know. All he wants is them to get to bed, and be ready to go in the morning. The rest is irrelevant bullsh*t. In his interview, the captain says they have charter guests coming in less than twelve hours, and the crew is up kicking a dead horse. He’s madder than a pissed on chicken. They’re acting like a-holes, and there’s going to be hell to pay in the morning.

He says, at this hour, he doesn’t need to be hearing slamming doors and yelling. If anyone takes issue with that, they can see him in his quarters. The captain goes back in, slamming the door. Kevin says, oh sh*t.  

Next time, Brian asks Courtney for no more drama; Captain Lee says if anyone feels they can’t get along, they can pack their bags; and Kevin asks Kate why she’s being a d*ck.

📠 Everything Old Is New Again…

So glad to see Spencer back! And that he’s the same actor.

📺 Weekend Watching…

Besides overindulging in 90 Day Fiancé, I discovered yet another Tyler Perry gem. It’s not exactly new, having premiered in fall of last year, but I kept missing it. There’s nothing I love more than a marathon, and BET had Tyler Perry’s The Oval on rotation. I. Loved. It. It stars Ed Quinn (Randy, Two Broke Girls) as POTUS, who is one nasty piece of work. Although he’s nothing in comparison to FLOTUS (Kron Moore), who beat up a woman and tased her own daughter in the first episode. They’re not like any first family you’ve ever seen, and the show is like Dynasty times ten on crack. I don’t know how often I’ll be able to catch it, but it’s definitely worth catching.

🕊 Apropos Of the Day…

And one of my favorite songs from Hairspray, from one of my favorite artists.