What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Tracy says, no surprise she finds her granddaughter with her nose in her phone, and Brooklyn says she got some good news. Nikolas Cassadine is alive. Tracy says, so? and Brook says, maybe Tracy should text Luke. It’s just a suggestion. Tracy asks why Brook is so touchy. Brook says she’s a little emotional because a guy she thought was dead just called to say hi, and ask how she’s doing. It’s kind of crazy that no one in her family asked. Tracy says if Brook is looking for those kinds of feelings, she’s in the wrong family. Ned comes in with Michael, and says Michael didn’t text him back about not coming to the shareholder’s meeting. Tracy asks why she wasn’t informed about a meeting, and Michael says, it’s for… She knows, the people who hold shares, but as long as Dillon is out west, she has his proxy vote. Michael says they’re voting on what to do with Oscar’s shares. Brook says they can go back to their corporate infighting in a minute, but she has a big announcement.
On the phone, Sam asks where Jason is. He says he’s at the MetroCourt. He’s meeting Michael before the memorial service. Sam can’t believe they’re going, but it’s weirder that Willow wants to go. He says Willow wants closure, and Sam hopes she gets it. She’s thinking of going over to Crimson to visit Maxie. Maybe she’ll stop by the MetroCourt, and they can grab a bite. No one said there’s a rule they can’t bump into each other. Alexis walks in, and asks what Sam thinks she’s doing.
At the MetroCourt, Franco tells Elizabeth that he loves date night. She says she loves having him back, and he asks if she’s okay. She says, it was quite a bombshell. She can’t believe Nikolas is alive. He says he’s thrilled that she’s tickled to death her ex-boyfriend is back. She says, she’s thrilled Nikolas is back, but she’s in love with Franco. She missed him every minute. He says, it’s weird that another person was living in his body, but no time passed for him. He keeps wondering what he was like. Would he want to get to know himself? She says, funny he should ask, because… They see Jason standing there.
Maxie tells Peter, far be it from her to judge when a friend is in the midst of an emotional tsunami, but when Nina was deciding whether or not to destroy Valentin, she was running the magazine herself. Then Nina comes back, and squashes a potentially huge advertising deal, and wants to micromanage. Maybe she should see what Lucy has to offer. What does he think? He apologizes, saying, it’s been a draining day at the office, but he does want to talk. What if they go get dinner instead? She likes the idea, but has some things she needs to finish, and says she’ll meet him there. He watches her as he waits for the elevator, and flashes back to admitting to Anna that he worked for Faison’s company at the same time as David Black.
Robert goes to Anna’s house, and asks if it’s a bad time. She says, it depends on what he’s there for, and he says he wants to tie up some loose ends. She says, regarding? and he says, would-be assassin David Black, who almost killed her friend Andre. He went to get the PCPD file on him, and Mac said she’s got it. Anna gives the file to him, and he says he’s surprised she took a second look, since her would-be son looks like a hero. Unless she’s having second thoughts about him too.
Maxie hears the elevator, and says, back so soon? Spinelli says they couldn’t stay away, and Maxie looks up to see him and Georgie. She thanks him for bringing their daughter with him.
Brook says she’s been at the courthouse all morning; the lines were awful. Michael asks why she was there, and she says she did something that she should have done a long time ago. As of today, she’s no longer Brook Lynn Ashton. She’s officially and legally Brook Lynn Quartermaine. Ned tells her, congratulations; her great-grandparents would be thrilled. Tracy asks, what’s the angle? Ned asks why there has to be an angle, and, Tracy says, Brook just changed her last name to Quartermaine. Of course (🍷) there’s an angle. Michael wonders if it has anything to do with her gig at The Floating Rib tonight.
Lulu says she warned Dustin. Between the wedding and her brother showing up alive, it was quite a scene. He asks how she’s holding up, and she says she’s trying to wrap her head around it. She’s beyond happy that Nikolas is alive… He says, but she’s pissed he left the family in the dark? She says, really pissed. He’s been missing for years, and now he’s back. She’s conflicted emotionally, but hasn’t had enough time to focus on any of her emotions.
Maxie asks why Spinelli didn’t tell her that he was bringing a special guest. He says Ellie decided to come back, and they’re joining her. Maxie says it’s a welcome relief from her dumpster fire of a day. It’s a long story; she’ll explain later. She asks how long they’re in town, and he says, if all goes well, forever.
Sam ask if Alexis was eavesdropping. Alexis says, it’s her house; sue her. Sam says, fair, and Alexis says they talked about this. Sam has to be careful. Outside of visitation with Danny, Sam shouldn’t communicate with Jason. Sam says she’s not cutting Jason out of her life completely, and Alexis says, as long as she knows she’s playing with fire. Sam says she and Jason live in the same city. No one can stop them from bumping into each other. Alexis says she’d be impressed by the loopholes Sam found, if her anxiety wasn’t skyrocketing. Sam says, if all goes according to plan, they won’t have to be discreet much long. Alexis asks, what’s that supposed to mean?
Elizabeth tells Franco that she needs to speak to Jason about Jake for a moment. She thanks Jason for Jake’s Christmas gift, and apologizes that he had no holiday time with his son. It’s been crazy busy since Franco came back. Franco says, hi, and tells Jason that he heard they bonded. Monica told him that he helped Jason build a treehouse. Jason puts his jackass hat on, and says, they didn’t bond, and Franco didn’t help him. Franco says, cool. Elizabeth says, Jason helped change Drew’s mind. She and Scotty did everything they could, but whatever Jason said convinced him. It made Drew realize that it wasn’t his life, and it belonged to Franco. Franco thanks Jason, and says he guesses he owes Jason his life. He sees Peter, and says, just about as much as he owes that guy. He tells Peter, hi.
Anna tells Robert that his bias against Peter is showing. It’s not a good look. He says she’s deflecting, and she says she’s concerned that he’s investigating an innocent bystander. He says, Peter shot the shooter, and she says, he didn’t know anything about the assassin. Robert says, it’s too convenient, and wonders if she has questions about Peter’s story too.
Alexis asks how exactly is Sam expediting her and Jason’s reunion, and Sam says they have a deal with Robert. Alexis says, Jason is working with the DA? Sam asks if she doesn’t think Jason is credible, and Alexis says she thinks Jason’s intentions might be good, but it’s a Federal conviction and Robert is the local DA. He has no pull with the Feds. Sam says, not necessarily. Robert is brokering a deal between her and the Feds. Alexis asks, how? and she says Robert thinks he can get her parole reduced if they offer up a bigger fish. Alexis asks if she’s caught anything.
Peter tells Franco, hey, and Franco says it’s good to see him. The man of the hour is here. He heard about Peter’s heroics at GH. He saved Franco’s life, and Andre’s too. Peter brushes it off, and Franco tells him, don’t be so humble. Elizabeth asks if he’s meeting someone, and he says he’s meeting Maxie. Elizabeth says she’s been meaning to get in touch. They’d like to have her and Peter over for dinner. Peter says, that’s not necessary, and Franco says he’s a bonafide hero; they should celebrate. Peter says, he’s really not.
Robert tells Anna, now they’re getting somewhere. How long as she been suspicious of Peter? Anna says, Jason saw her at the hospital the day Franco was going through the procedure. He believes Peter was more involved with Faison than he admits, and with what was done to him and Drew. Robert says, the procedure and Drew’s death are connected, and asks if she’s come up with any evidence linking Peter to the assassin. She flashes back to Peter admitting that he worked at Faison’s company at the same time David Black did. Robert asks if Jason had any hard evidence, and she says, no. That’s why she was reviewing the file. He asks if she found anything.
Lulu says she’s sorry to unload on Dustin, and he says she has a lot going on. She says she’s glad she hasn’t scared him off, but just wait. He says, there’s more? but she says she actually thinks her life is about to get calmer. Nikolas’s return will have fallout, but Charlotte is home safe with her. She thinks they might actually have a chance to spend more time together. He says, it’s not fair that she’s getting his hopes up. She says she knows every time it looks like they can get to know each other more, something gets in the way. A disastrous wedding… He says, teenagers, and she says, Charlotte jumping off the pier. He says, her mother, and they laugh. He says he’s glad to hear her laugh, and she says it happens a lot with him. He says he’s good at other things too, and she asks if he wants to get out of there. He asks where they’re going, and she says Rocco is with his grandmother, and so is Charlotte. They could go back to his place.
Ned says, Brook has a gig? and she tells Michael, thanks, narc. Michael says The Floating Rib had a big PR blast, and Ned wonders how Brook got out of her contract. Tracy tells Ned to fill her in, and Ned says, Brook is stuck in a contract with a predatory music producer. Brook says, he’s a skeeze, and Ned says, a skeeze with an intimidating angle. Brook says now that she’s a Quartermaine, she can sing wherever she wants, but Michael says that won’t get her out of her contractual obligations. Ned says they have to talk, but Brook says she has to go, and jets. Tracy says, Brook’s first day with the Quartermaine name, and she’s already disgraced it.
Alexis says, so Robert is willing to broker a deal with Sam if she has someone big to offer? Who is it? Sam says, it’s confidential; sorry. Alexis says that’s hardly comforting. The doorbell rings, and Alexis says Sam was saved by the bell. She hopes Sam knows what she’s doing, and tells her to be careful. Sam says, always, and Alexis opens the door to find Neil. He asks if it’s a bad time. Alexis says, it’s perfect timing, and invites him in. Sam says she’ll give them space, and tells Neil, hello and goodbye. She leaves, and Alexis says, welcome home. He thanks her, and says, it’s been a minute. She says, a couple. It’s nice see him. Did he just come to say hi, or is it something else?
Maxie tells Spinelli, hold up. They might be in Port Charles permanently? Spinelli says, it’s possible. Ellie is in the running for a desirable position heading up a lab in Queens Point. She’s going to her final interview, and they’re expressing cautious enthusiasm. He and Georgie came along in case she’s presented with an offer; they’ll have to find a place to live. Maxie says she’s cautiously excited. She knows how it can be when an expected chance comes along, and you’re afraid to go for it, but if you do, something incredible might happen. He asks if she’s talking hypothetically or is she leaving Crimson?
Ned tells Tracy that ELQ is under control. Tracy asks Michael, what’s more important than being CEO of ELQ? and he says, a memorial service. She says, her condolences. Who passed? Michael says a man who he despised.
Dustin tells Lulu, there’s nothing he wants more than to spend the night with her, but only if she wants to. She asks why she wouldn’t, and he says she’s had a lot of emotional upsets lately. He wants to make sure she’s ready to have sex again. She laughs, and says she appreciates him asking for consent. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t have family drama going on, but a girl has her wants. She wants to be happy, and she’s happy with him. He says he can’t argue, and they kiss. He goes to settle the check, and she says she’ll wait outside; don’t keep her waiting. As she gets up, Brook runs into her, spilling her drink on Lulu. Brook says, sorry, but then sees who it is, and says, or not.
Robert says Mac told him that Anna has had the file since before Christmas. She must have found something. She says, nothing that links Peter to the assassin. He asks, what about Jason’s theory? and she says, it’s a theory. There’s no evidence to support it. He wonders if she didn’t look too close, and says she has a Peter-sized blind spot. If she’s not careful, she could be in a lot of trouble. When Peter goes down, he doesn’t want her going with him. Things are in the works that are going to show her what her would-be (Robert’s WOTD) son is really like.
Peter tells Franco that he appreciates the complement, but he’s uncomfortable being the center of attention. Franco says he’s a hero, and Peter says that’s kind of him to say, but he prefers to publish the news rather than be the news. He and Maxie would love to have dinner. He tells Elizabeth, pick the date, and let him know; they’ll be there. He says, it’s good to see them, and starts to leave. She asks if he’s not meeting Maxie, but he looks at his phone and says, she’s craving Noodle Buddha now. He leaves, and Franco says, awkward. What’s up with that guy?
Spinelli tells Maxie, he doesn’t mean to pry, but this could be a watershed moment. She’s not thinking of leaving Crimson, is she? She says, forget it, and he says, it’s forgotten. Sam comes out of the elevator, and hugs Spinelli. Maxie asks him to tell Sam the good news, and he says, it’s not good news yet, but it might be. It’s possible Ellie might get a local job in Queens Point, but nothing is set in stone. Sam hopes Ellie gets the job. They need him there.
Neil hope he didn’t interrupt Alexis and Sam, but Alexis says Sam was on her way out. She asks when he get back, and he says, a few hours ago. She says he came right over? and he says he tried to call, but got voicemail. She says her phone was on silent, and asks how Montclair was. Did he spend time with his brother and family? He says, it was nice, and she says, just nice? She’s glad, but she should have gotten him a thesaurus for Christmas. She forgot to thank him for saving her life before he left. She missed him. He seems distracted, and she says, okay. Just tell her what’s going on.
Tracy says Michael is going to skip the shareholders meeting for a memorial service for a sociopath? Why give that twisted guru a second of his time? Michael says Shiloh’s followers will be there for closure, and he wants to be supportive. In particular for Kristina and Willow. Ned explains that Willow is Wiley’s birth bother, and Tracy says Michael is so consistent, making nice with a sweet single mother. Shocking. Michael says, fun as this was, he needs to hit the road. Ned tells him, good luck. After Michael is gone, Tracy tells Ned to drop the cool and collected act. He asks her, why the sudden revitalized interest in ELQ?
Lulu tells Brook to watch where she’s going, but Brook says Lulu hit her drink. This is where Lulu offers to buy her another round. Lulu says she knew Brook would ruin this. Brook sees Dustin, and says, oh my God. Is she on a date? There are peanut shells on the floor; she should practice better self-care. Lulu says, if it’s such a dive, what is Brook doing there? Brook says, performing, and Lulu asks how it feels going from Webster Hall to this? Brook says she has to go, and tells Lulu, enjoy her date. Lulu joins Dustin at the bar, and he asks, what happened? she says she was just showered with Sex on the Beach. Brook tells herself she’s got this. No one can stop her. A skeevy looking dude walks in, and says, want a bet?
Alexis says Neil is clearly distracted and distant. He says he’s here, and happy to see her. She says she can tell. He’s been off the radar, which is understandable because of the holidays. She understands. Neil says he kept in touch, and she says they texted nightly and he came straight there, but it’s awkward. He says he didn’t mean to give mixed-up signals, and she says, talk to her. He can tell her anything. He gets up, and says, something happened while he was away.
Spinelli tells Sam and Maxie, the possibility of moving back is exhilarating; he’d love to be close as a family again. Peter comes back, and Maxie says, look who’s here. They exchange pleasantries, and Spinelli, who looks uncomfortable, says he has to go check in and get settled. He hopes to catch up soon. Maxie hugs him and Georgie, and tells Spinelli, thanks.
Franco says now he knows Peter is uncomfortable with praise, and Elizabeth says, it’s a sign of insecurity. Franco thinks it’s weird, and wonders if Peter is socially awkward like Jason. Elizabeth tells him, if he gets in the habit of complaining about Jason, he might slip in front of Jake. Franco says he’ll change the subject. What was he like as another person? Was he cool or stone cold like Jason? She says he can judge for himself. He recorded a video message for Cameron. She hand him a phone, and says it’s his to watch when he wants.
Michael meets Jason at the MetroCourt bar, and apologizes for being late. He says, Tracy finally made her move, and Jason asks, how bad? Michael says he thinks she’s after ELQ.
Ned asks Tracy to tell him what her angle is. She says she’s concerned for the family, and he says her time away with Luke has made her soft; she used to be a better liar. She asks why she would lie, and he says she hasn’t shown a scintilla of interest in the family. Now she drops in out of the sky to take pot shots at Michael and his daughter. She says she wants to make sure ELQ remains in the family’s hands, and he says, she’s making a play for ELQ again, isn’t she?
Brook asks what he’s doing there, and I think we can assume he’s her producer, Zak. He says he had a meeting with a Canadian hip-hop artist who’s supposed to be the next Drake. He thought he’d stop in before he went back to civilization. Imagine his surprise when he saw that Brook Quartermaine was preforming. She says, it’s a two drink minimum; enjoy the show. He says if she does this gig under any name, she’s breaching her contract, and he’ll sue her. She says she’s sure he has more successful clients; why won’t he leave her alone? He says he sees her potential, and grabs her. He pulls her to him, and says he doesn’t care. He doesn’t give up on talent, and wants further collaboration. She whacks him in the mouth, and steps away from him.
Alexis says she’s thinking Neil must have met someone, and that’s fine. He says, it’s nothing like that . He’s losing his medical license. She asks how that’s possible, and he says, because of her.
Zak says, there she is. The diva he’s always wanted. He moves toward Brook, who says, don’t touch her. Lulu comes out of nowhere, and pulls him back, calling him an SOB, and telling him to get his hands off of Brook. Dustin slams him up against the wall, and asks if he was never taught not to put his hands on a woman. Brook says, teach? and Dustin says, Brook?
Ned says Tracy has a sudden interest in voting Dillon’s shares, and in Michael directing the company. She wants to push Michael out as CEO and chairman, and put herself in his place. She says, not her. Someone else.
Michael tells Jason, Tracy had a field day talking about Shiloh’s memorial. It wasn’t her usual snark. She said he was neglecting the company. Jason says Michael doesn’t have be there, and Michael says Jason doesn’t either. Jason says he thinks whoever is behind this memorial has an agenda, and Michael says he does too.
Elizabeth asks if Franco doesn’t want to watch. He says he does, but doesn’t think he’s ready to see himself. He’s kind of terrified, and guesses that makes him a coward. She says, far from it. Whenever he’s ready, it will be there. He smiles.
Maxie tells Peter that she’s almost finished. She asks if Sam wants to join them for dinner, but Sam says, sorry. Olivia just texted her. The kids were spending the night, and now they don’t want to, so mom to the rescue. She’d like a raincheck though, and Maxie says she’ll hold Sam to it. Sam leaves, and Maxie asks if Peter made reservations. He says he changed his mind, and asks if Noodle Buddha on the sofa and a move sound good. She says, it sounds like heaven, and goes to get her purse.
Anna asks what Robert means by things in the works. Is the PCPD launching an investigation, or is he calling in favors from the WSB? He asks her to promise that when the truth comes out, and it’s not to her liking, she’ll stand clear. If he’s right… She says, what if he’s wrong, and there’s no proof. Will he admit Peter is innocent? He says, no proof; no case. She says if that’s the best she can get, she’ll take it. She tells him, it’s kind of late, and he tells her, goodnight. He leaves, and she goes to her desk. She finds the papers that point to the connection between David Black and Peter, and hides them inside a book.
Tomorrow, Brook has a show to do, Neil doesn’t want to make the same mistake again, and Laura says she loves Nikolas no matter what he may have done.
The boat is cleaned up for the next charter. Captain Lee calls Rhylee to the Sky Lounge. Kate tells her, go in, and take responsibility for everything. The captain says he’s talked with Ashton and everybody else, and they have a situation – and it’s unpleasant. She’s probably one of the hardest working people he’s worked with, but this ain’t Alaska. It’s a yacht, and they behave differently. As with all unpleasant situations, he had to come up with a solution, and he’s come to the conclusion they’re going to make it work. It’s going to take change on Ashton’s part, and a lot on hers. Sometimes, the only way to change the way people treat you, is how you react to how they treat you. In the captain’s interview, he says Rhylee is a hard worker, but her edges are about as rough as they come, and it’s the end of the charter season. He tells Rhylee that he wants them to do better, and expects it. In Rhylee’s interview, she says, Ashton tried to get her fired, and it hurts. They genuinely don’t like her. Where does she go from here? Late tells Rhylee that she needs a break, and hugs her.
The captain radios Ashton. He tells Ashton that he could have dealt with it the way Ashton wanted to, which is just make it go away, but that’s not managing. (He listened to Kate!) Ashton says he can’t change Rhylee, and Captain Lee says he’s not asking Ashton to do that. He’s asking him to try and make it work. He asks if Ashton said he’s just tolerating her, and Ashton admits he did. Ashton says, it’s the truth, but the captain says, sometimes the truth isn’t the best management skill. Ashton is retaliating, and it’s not a role he can’t afford to take when he’s in management. Ashton says he respects the captain, and will respect his wishes. He’s willing to do it. Captain Lee tells him, do it with an open mind because his isn’t. In Ashton’s interview, he says he’s shocked at how it turned out. When a decision needed to be made, the captain went with the third deckhand. He respects Captain Lee, and is going to do what he said, but hopes it’s for a good reason. What just happened? He radios Rhylee. I laugh my head off. Poor Ashton. He didn’t get what he wanted – the easy way out.
Rhylee meets with Ashton, and he says, what happened last night is past. This morning, they need to make it work, and respect each other and the situation. They need to put in the effort, and it will be okay. He asks if there’s anything else she wants to say or add, but she shakes her head. He leaves, and she says, it’s an effing joke.
Ashton tells Brian, Rhylee isn’t going anywhere. Molly texts Ashton, and asks if he wants to meet up. In his interview, he says he doesn’t want to cause sh*t among the crew, but when guests are off the boat, they’re fair game. He tells Molly that they can meet.
Kate asks if Rhylee would be offended if she and Tanner hooked up underneath her (referring to the bottom bunk, not anything kinky). In Kate’s interview, she says, Kevin is mean to her, and Ashton is mean to her; she needs consolation. The crew gets ready to go out. Rhylee likes when they have separate taxis for the girls and guys, since she’s with the guys all day. Ashton tells Kevin, by the time the ex-guests arrive, he’ll be sleeping. Rhylee says all the guys are pissed at her, so that just leaves the three girls to hook up with. They laugh.
They hit The Library, and in his interview, Tanner says he was out of commission when they went there the last time. Ashton hooked up with Kate, and Brian kissed Courtney; who is Tanner going to kiss? Apparently, Tanner has a pretty loose definition of hooking up. He asks Kate if she’s going home with him, and she says, yes. Molly and Justine (from the last charter) walk in. Kate says, it’s ridiculous. The bartenders do the Tom Cruise/Kokomo/Cocktail thing behind the bar. In Tanner’s interview, he says they’re sexual tension between him and Kate, and now Justine has been thrown in the mix. He’s just going to get drunk and see what happens. No comment. Ashton says, the other girls aren’t happy. Kate steps out with Kevin for a smoke, and tells him they’ve spent all this time listening to these women and catering to them, and now the one time they don’t have to… In Kevin’s interview, he says it’s as annoying for him as it is for Kate. It’s their time. Molly says she’s moving n three weeks, and Ashton kisses her. Tanner asks if he can slide into Justine’s DMs. In Kate’s interview, she says she’s been the one working all season. She should get to screw a deckhand. Ashton says nothing surprises him with Kate. He doesn’t want to make drama. He tells Molly that he’ll see her in five days, and the crew gets in the taxis.
Rhylee tells the other girls that Ashton was asking Molly out. Kate says she’d rather do it with a Vienna sausage. They’re pale, yucky, sit in coagulated fat, and nobody knows what to do with them. They get back to the dock. Brian says Courtney is beautiful, and she says he’s drunk. In her interview, she says when she gets to know someone, it’s usually a day by day progression. She likes him a lot, and thinks they have a genuine connection. She doesn’t know what to say. They jog the rest of the way to the boat.
Everyone goes to bed, and in her interview, Kate says she admits she’s had a few drinks and she’s bored. Tanner has been flirting with her all season. Now she’s cashing in her ticket. She goes to his cabin, saying, Tanner, Tanner, Kate. Pajama party. He’s barely conscious, and she asks if he’s okay. In Kate’s interview, she thinks it’s a good learning lesson for him. Drink less, hook up more. She goes back to her own cabin, and says, so rude.
Everyone forces themselves out of bed in the morning. Kate asks Tanner if he’s okay, telling him that she went to invite him to her room, but he wouldn’t even flip over. In his interview, he says, is she kidding him? He blew it. Rhylee folds towels, and says, they can’t fire her even if they try. She helps with the towline, and Captain Lee watches her and Ashton work together. In his interview, Captain Lee says he’s not a fan micromanaging, and he’s not starting now with Rhylee and Ashton. They’re adults. They don’t have to like each other, but they have to work together. Neither one of them is going anywhere. He told them what he expects – deliver. Simone tells Courtney that Tanner is standoffish, and Courtney says he’s been canoodling. In Courtney’s interview, she says, Tanner is a playboy for sure. He’d said he wanted to hook up with other people, but she’s not telling Simone that he wants to hook up with other people who are her boss. Brian’s not mature, but he’s more mature than Tanner. In Brian’s interview, he says he doesn’t know where he and Courtney stand after the season is over. As far ask his daughter is concerned, he’s been single all her life. He needs to be confident about who he introduces to her, and can’t bring women in and out of her life.
Tanner tells Ashton that Kate was going to invite him to her room, and they laugh. The captain calls Kate, Ashton, and Kevin to the mess for the preference sheet meeting. The new primary is Alexis Bellino (former cast member on The Real Housewives of Orange County). She’s recently divorced, and her boyfriend Andrew is looking forward to a romantic vacation. He says, she’s obviously moving on. In Kate’s interview, she says her only concern about a Housewife on a charter is they tend to be dramatic. The good news is, they can’t flip over tables since the tables are nailed down. The captain says they’re not coming until late afternoon, so Kevin doesn’t have to be concerned with lunch. They want a green, Irish theme party, and a cave/island excursion. He suggests the Pilah Lagoon, and says Alexis wants to celebrate her independence day. Kate says, as long as the guests have the most drama, they’re doing okay. She loves charter eight.
Five hours before charter. Ashton has a deckhand meeting. In his interview, he says he’s had issues with Rhylee, but he’s stuck with her. He’s going to treat her like a third deckhand. Just keep quiet, and take orders. The provisions come in. In his interview, Kevin says he’s put a lot of hours into the charter season, and it’s catching up. His back is giving him a hard time. Captain Lee tells the crew to be on the aft deck thirty minutes.
Walking to the boat with her crew, Alexis says, vacation starts now. Kate says she sounds like a dolphin, and a guest asks if anyone brought their airhorns. Captain Lee says, there’s always one d-bag. In her interview, Kate says, they look like they’re from Orange County. Tanning beds and gym memberships. She’s scared. The captain welcomes them to Thailand, and says they have a busy few days planned. So let’s get to it, get underway, and off the dock. Kate does the tour. Alexis and Andrew kiss. In Kate’s interview, she says, eww! She wonders if Alexis is proving to her ex or to her friends that she’s doing fine, but she can prove she’s doing fine without having a tongue down her throat.
The guests unpack. Courtney makes mojitos. Alexis jumps on Andrew. Anchor is dropped and locked in. Andrew dives of the side of the boat, and Captain Lee says it looks like that hurt. Ashton gets ready for the excursion, and gives Rhylee the sh*t work, like cleaning out the hot tub. In her interview, she says it’s blatantly obvious that she’s not part of the team in their eyes. She feels defeated, and is questioning what and why she’s doing what she’s doing. Kate tells Simone and Courtney that they’re handling dinner service. In Simone’s interview, she feels like she’s come a long way. Kate is still condescending though. She can’t stand the insult to her intelligence. Bye, Felicia. Rhylee eats in her bunk while the jerkface deckhands high-five each other.
Kate tells Kevin, it’s going to be freaking Dublin. Kevin says he’s just going to spice up the Irish thing. If he makes something green and puts Guinness in something, he’ll be okay. Brian texts Courtney that they haven’t spoken about the end of the season, and asks what her thoughts are. She asks what his are, and he says they’re just having fun, right? In her interview, she says, it’s insensitive to have an important conversation through text. He’s being a d*ck. It’s not that hard. Courtney tells Kate about it, and says, it’s awkward. In Courtney’s interview, she says, nobody wants to hear that a person they like is just having fun. It sounds like it’s not that important. Kate says she’s surprised. In Kate’s interview, she says she feels bad. It must be Courtney’s first boatmance. Now she’s spinning out about Brian. An excursion is perfect. Courtney can get off the boat, clear her mind, and take her misery elsewhere. The captain asks who Ashton is taking, and Ashton says, Tanner. Simone wanders around with a drink, looking for the guest it belongs with.
The guests get in the tender, and they cruise around the island. The scenery is absolutely breathtaking. Ashton says, it’s called Pilah Bay, but that’s as much as he can tell them. Clearly, he didn’t do his research. Alexis and Andrew go for maximum PDA. In Courtney’s interview, she says, are you kidding? It’s the last thing she wants to see, especially now. Kate asks if Rhylee was reading a magazine in the bathroom, and Rhylee says she was eating dinner in there. In Kate’s interview, she says she’s never seen this side of Rhylee before. She’s a strong woman who’s been beaten down by an ex-Chippendale.
Kevin tells Brian that Courtney is going around saying sh*t about him messaging her. In Brian’s interview, he says he’s pissed off. She’s speaking about their personal relationship, and he’s respected her. He’s seeing a different side of her, and it’s not a good side. Brian thanks Kevin for the heads up, and the guests return.
Kevin puts on a sparkly green top hat, and sings and dances. He says he’s back. Kevin is kind of an idiot, but I’ve also enjoyed him this season. Ben will always be the best though. The guests come back, and Brian says he wants to talk to Courtney. She says, maybe. He says, after dinner? and she says, maybe. In her interview, Courtney says she doesn’t want to have this conversation at work. He’s already upset her at work. Brian tells Ashton that Courtney has issues. He tries to cover his ass by saying he wanted to have a conversation with her, but thought he’d text first before they spoke. She’s acting like he broke up with her on messenger, but he just wanted to see if they were on the same page. Courtney says he’ll probably make her cry, and she’ll have puffy eyes. Brian says she’s talking sh*t behind his back. What gives her the right? It’s hard to believe three of the most insensitive, clueless d-bags ever ended up on the same boat.
Alexis and Andrew continue on the PDA trail. Courtney and Kate decorate for the Irish theme. Kate says, there’s slim pickin’s with décor in Thailand. Considering what she had to work with, it looks pretty darn good. There are green metallic streamers hanging from the ceiling, and the table is decorated with sparkly green hats, coins, and other green stuff. The guests arrive for dinner wearing flashing green horns, which are really annoying. Alexis says she’s told everyone that she’s never getting married again, and Andrew says now she’s asking when they’re getting married. Kevin does a nice spin on corned beef and cabbage, and Kate says it’s the sexiest Irish food she’s ever seen. It does look good. Simone tells Kevin the main word she’s hearing is delish.
Tanner asks if Kate wants to go for a smoke, and they go out on deck. He asks what she thinks about hooking up. In her interview, she says, don’t tell her about it, just do it. She says she believes he’s over-thinking it. If it happens, it happens, but he should probably wait a day or two. It’s awkward right now. Brian texts Courtney that she shouldn’t have brought up their conversation to Kate; it’s going to be all over the boat. He texts that she took him the wrong way. Courtney tells Kate that Brian is still texting her. Kevin makes shortbread with chocolate pudding and double cream for dessert, and I want some so badly. Captain Lee is annoyed to find no toilet paper in whatever bathroom he’s using. The guests go to bed, Simone asks Kevin if he’s okay, and Courtney cries in her cabin. In her interview, she says she thought Brian genuinely liked her, and she’s taken comfort in him through the majority of the season. Now she questions the legitimacy of how much he likes her. She can’t handle that emotionally.
The sun rises. Kevin makes meatballs and breakfast. Kevin takes the breakfast orders, and Rhylee asks if the guests are ready to see more of Thailand, and tells them to enjoy their breakfast. Rhylee tells Ashton that the guests like her. Ashton says they only have her in small doses. In the galley, Kevin falls to the floor. Simone asks him why he’s down there, and he tells her to get him some painkillers. He can’t straighten his back. Ugh. I know what that’s like, and it’s horrible. A dude we’ve never seen helps him up, and says he’ll get an ice pack. In Kevin’s interview, he says it’s the worst pain he’s ever had. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get through the charter. Simone gets his meds, and gives them to him.
Rhylee goes to her cabin. In her interview, she says it’s the hardest work scenario she’s ever had. She’s still trying to learn yachting industry. Throwing in a bunch of drama with a meathead who can’t control his temper, and boys following suit because it’s bro code; it’s hard. Courtney tells Kate that Kevin can’t move. Ashton tells Tanner to pull anchor. Brian sighs in his cabin. He asks if Courtney wants to talk, and says she took what he said the wrong way. She says he texted that he was just having fun, and she thought he liked her. He says he does. Why can’t they sort this thing out? He doesn’t want whatever they have to end this way. He says he’s never talked to anyone else about it, and she doesn’t know what he’s upset about. He says he doesn’t want other people to know his business, and she’s telling them. She’s sorry he feels that way, but it’s distracting while she’s working. He gets indignant, saying, she’s sorry he feels that way? and she says she’s sorry she didn’t realize it was that private, and it’s a big deal. He says he didn’t want to hurt her, and asks for a kiss, but she says she doesn’t know. Ashton radios for Brian, and he and Courtney agree to speak later.
In his interview, Captain Lee says all they need is for their chef to be down. Every other area, he can fix himself, but he’s just an old line cook. If the chef can’t cook, the guests don’t eat. They’re in the middle of nowhere, and he doesn’t think he can get someone to bail them out.
Next time, Tanner asks Kate when the next invite to her room is, Rhylee calls Ashton a misogynist pig, and Captain Lee says they’re all acting like a-holes and he’s madder than a pissed on chicken.
🐮 Oh Please…
I didn’t mention her discretion much in my Friday night diatribe, but this is rich. Five minutes ago, she was throwing down chairs and demanding LeeAnne stand trial. I guess she can dish it out, but she can’t take it.
👑 She Will Never Wear the Crown…
I don’t care who says it’s Kyle’s show, she’ll never replace LVP.
🌴 Everything Old Is New Again…
The cast doesn’t seem much different from last season. I wonder if Vicki, who swore up and down she was done with friend status, will accept a new contract. Could she really stand not getting married on TV?
👾 Come Out, Come Out, Citizen Z…
TBH, I never even thought about it. And now I’m thinking about how much I miss Z Nation. He and Doc were my favorite characters too. Now I’m sad and pissed all over again.
📅 Halfway Through Another One…
My New Year’s Resolution is to make no resolution. It’s better that way.