Monthly Archives: May 2020

May 29, 2020 – The 2015 Ball Continues, GH Family, Special 90, Dodd Again, Talley Speaks, Real Ring, Scheana’s World, Getting Help, Baby Time, Doodle This, 10½ Quotes & You


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

To round out the week of Nurse’s Ball flashbacks, today’s GH was from May 5th, 2015. Elizabeth had an announcement, and while we all thought she was going to tell everyone Jake Doe was really Jason (although he was ultimately Jason’s twin), when she took the mic, she talked about Robin and Stone, and Robin’s courage. She said she wished she could be that brave. After playing Phantom of the Nurse’s Ball, tiny terrorizing the event, and not impressing Emma (a scene I’d missed yesterday), Spencer’s late mother Courtney paid him an otherworldly visit. Courtney told him that making people feel badly reflected badly on him, and maybe he really felt badly about himself. She encouraged him to go to the Ball, and stop pretending that he had a hideous deformity. She got him to remove his make, and he really didn’t have much of anything.

At the Ball, Elizabeth told Nikolas she wanted the chance with Jake that she never had with Jason, and that she deserved happiness. Jake did a lot of talking to who-the-hell-is-that-guy? and Spinelli sang Stephen Bishop’s It Might Be You, which was my wedding song. Mixed emotions there – ha-ha. Who-the-hell-is-that-guy? #2 talked to Duke about taking Jordan out, and I don’t mean on a date. Felix presented Lucy with flowers, and the show ended with Sabrina and Epiphany singing You’re Not Alone, and everyone joining hands on stage.

I have no clue what the deal is for next week, or whether they’re going to continue the 2015 Ball, which has another episode. The digital guide isn’t showing any episodes as new, so we’ll see.

🏡 It All Comes Down To Family…

There’s a new GH promo in town.

🍼 90 Day Fiancé: What Now? Lauran and Alexi’s Baby Special airs Monday, June 1st at 10 pm. I think these two are going to make fabulous parents.

🤷🏻‍♂️ She’s Just Misunderstood…

When you have to explain what you meant every time you say something, maybe you should learn new words.

👠 He Saw, He Vogued, He Conquered…

I’m feeling so bad about my dog, I actually paid full price for the Nook version of The Chiffon Trenches. It’s okay, but not as good as the Bette Davis bio I just finished. Still, both of them had their heartaches.

👘 The Story Behind the Story…

The Japanese version is almost always better.

👙 Oh Scheana, My Scheana…

If she thinks she’s not being promoted, I’d like to know what the endless flashbacks of Good As Gold, and having to watch her new crappy music video (aka, the closest she’s ever going to get to Brett again) was about. And besides, she should know LVP can do no wrong.

🥼 Hopefully It Sticks…

I like Dorinda, and being a bully doesn’t suit her, or serve the show well.

🤰🏾 The Right To Choose…

Miss Quad (Married To Medicine) has adopted.

And you can find Kandi’s advice on surrogacy here.

🎨 I’ll Show You Mine…

See my Google Doodle and make one of your own.

🗣 Quotes of the Week

Life is problems. Living is solving problems. – Raymond E. Feist

Expectations make people miserable, so whatever yours are, lower them. You’ll definitely be happier. – Simone Elkeles (Or as Kevin James as Doug on King of Queens would say, the lower you go, the happier you’ll be.)

You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. – Epicurus

Thank God for wine. – a girl on Blind Date

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. – Albert Einstein

There comes a point when you either embrace who and what you are, or condemn yourself to be miserable all your days. – Laurell K. Hamilton

Pain is a pesky part of being human, I’ve learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. – C. JoyBell C.

Wow. That seems a little late. – an 11-year-old after her mother told her she’s the first Black lead in The Nutcracker

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. – Maya Angelou

In every age, the good old days were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them. – Brooks Atkinson

🤸🏽‍♀️ Wherever You Go, There You Are…

Not my greatest week, but we made it to another end of one, and get to do it all over again. Now that there’s been a bit of a tide turn, get out and do something different if you can. Start reclaiming your weekend. Be kind, and don’t be stupid. See you on the Deck side, and meanwhile, stay safe, stay keeping your distance socially, and please, stay rational.

May 28, 2020 – Nurse’s Ball 2015, Look Out Newport, New Interpretations, a Hiatus, a Break-Up, Gordon Speaks & Keep Going


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s GH Nurse’s Ball flashback was from May 1st, 2015. Britt and Brad watched the red carpet from home while eating ice cream out of the container. Patrick was with Sam, Hayden showed up with Drew (at the time, Jake Doe), and Michael was with Sabrina. Duke was back from the dead, and Anna showed up with who-the-hell-is-that-guy? Felix arrived with Lucas, but told the interviewer that it wasn’t a love match; he was still single and Lucas was very much in love with someone else. Spinelli accompanied Maxie, and Nathan came with adorkable Ellie. Spinelli accidently tripped Maxie, causing a near nip slip, which Brad and Britt put on heavy replay. Old Nikolas, old Jordan with Shawn, and Dante were there, Nikolas bringing Valerie.

Burned in a fire accidentally started by Cameron, Spencer also spent the night at home, wearing a Phantom mask. Seeing Emma with Cameron on the red carpet, Spencer said, what the fudge? but Britt showed up like a fairy godmother to take him to the Ball to claim his ladylove. Carly had a plan to get Ric run out of town, but told Ric she wanted to put their differences aside, wishing him all the happiness he deserved. This time Aveeno got the plugs, and Obrecht crashed the end of the opening number with 99 Luftballons. After Carly outed Ric and Elizabeth for lying to Jake Doe about who he really was, Brad bailed out the ball with, I Want to Marry You, and a proposal to Lucas. Ending the episode, Elizabeth finally told Jake Doe that he was really Jason. Which he ended up not being, but we didn’t know that then.

The Real Housewives of New York City

We ended last week with a three-way hug between Ramona, Dorinda, and Sonja. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Everyone packs for Newport, Rhode Island. Sonja packs her hormones, telling assistant Matthew that they keep her nice and friendly. In Ramona’s interview, she says, Newport is a chichi place with a lot of atmosphere; like South Hampton, but tinier. Dorinda supervises the work on Bluestone Manor, as they’ve starting doing external stuff like painting.

The women – minus Dorinda who’s going separately – meet at the limo, and LuAnn calls Tinsley a child for bringing her own pillow. I think a lot of people bring their own pillows on trips. In Tinsley’s interview, she says the Newport she knows is Palm Beach as well. Whatever that means. Her mom has a place there, and the people from Palm Beach go to Newport in the summer. Leah tells Ramona that she looks twenty-five, and LuAnn tells her, compliments will get her everywhere. Ramona says they’ll have lunch when they get there, and tonight she’s having a lobster clambake. Wouldn’t that be a lobsterbake? She says, Dorinda has been edgy, and LuAnn says it was the anniversary of Richard’s death, and then it was his birthday. She’s been bitchy to everyone. Ramona says they have to show they care for her. She’s probably there already.

Yes she is. Dorinda checks into the Castle Hill Inn, telling the woman at the desk, she used to stay there with her late husband. In the limo, Leah whines, are we there yet? but it’s another two hours. Elyse says she had a humbling moment. She was passing some construction workers, who started yelling that she was beautiful. She turned around, and realized they weren’t talking to her. There was a six-foot tall blond walking behind her. Leah talks about Pita Guy, and says they had their first intimate moment. There was heavy petting, clothed, and the next day he didn’t even text. She told him she didn’t appreciate his aloof and irreverent attitude toward her time. In her interview, she says, even after seven years of therapy, and trying to hide it, the psycho bitch came out, and he saw it. She tells the women that her sister is a new mom with a seven-month old baby, and she’d like to invite Sarah along. Ramona is like, no, and Leah suggests she relax and think about it. In Ramona’s interview, she says she knows who works off who, and it’s a tenuous rope. Bringing a new personality into an already turbulent group might be a mistake.

They reach the inn, receiving welcome drinks at the desk. Dorinda is waiting for them in what looks like an empty restaurant, and they all go out onto the terrace. The waitstaff brings out trays of food, and Ramona asks for two dozen oysters. In her interview, Tinsley says she doesn’t like fighting. She’ll be happy to get a hello, but Dorinda seems approachable. Leah insists she’s not hungry, and I’m guessing she’s in what I call drinking mode, where the last thing you want is people shoving food at you. In Leah’s interview, she says she doesn’t feel good about herself, but here we go. She says she thinks Ramona would love her sister, and Ramona agrees to including Sarah in their dinner tomorrow. Ramona tells Sonja that she doesn’t want Sarah to come, but Leah talked her into it. Ramona decides they should take a vote, but Leah tells her, she already said yes. Plus, Ramona invited Elyse. Elyse says, don’t even talk to her, and in her interview, says she’s known the women for twenty years. Sonja says, guests can’t invite guests, reminding me of Jessie from NYC Prep giving one of the best quotes ever – guests of guests don’t bring guests. Leah says she’d already asked. In Sonja’s interview, she says the trip was meant for their clique of girls, and it should have been discussed among them. Ramona says she doesn’t want Sarah to come, and Leah says she’s being rude. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she thinks it’s important. Leah is in a new group, and she’s a single mom. Maybe she wants to hang around with her sister. Who cares? Leah tells Ramona, Dorinda and Tinsley said yes. What about LuAnn? LuAnn asks what do they care? and Leah says, it’s agreed. She appreciates it. Ramona says she looks forward to meeting Sarah.

They go to where they’ll be staying; cottage type rooms with terraces and gorgeous views. Dorinda tells the attendant unless he wants to be privy to something scary, she suggests he leave. He wisely takes her advice. Sonja says, the sea air feels good, and tells LuAnn, maybe they’ll get their mojo back. Leah calls Sarah, and tells her that she can come. Ramona tells Sonja, if she likes Sarah, she’ll be happy to have her.

Ramona wonders how Leah got her to say okay, and Sonja says she felt pressured. No one gets a plus-one. In Sonja’s interview, she says Ramona should have thought first. This is what she does; she says yes, then rescinds the invite. Ramona says she’s going to tell Leah tonight that her sister can’t come. In her interview, Ramona grumbles that Leah pressured her like a little girl. The dynamic won’t be good. Drinking like a fish already, Leah goes to Tinsley’s room. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she thinks she’s in for a fun time with Leah, but hopes Leah doesn’t get her naked like in the Hamptons. Leah tells Tinsley, in Newport, they don’t burp, or even pee. They head out to meet the other women for dinner.

In her interview, Tinsley says she hopes Leah doesn’t go off the deep end. Dorinda asks what Leah’s been doing while she was taking a nap all afternoon, and Leah says she started early. Ramona directs them to her clambake, down a path lit with white lights, to a table flanked with sheer drapes. Lagging behind, Leah tells Tinsley, it’s a judgement free zone, and Ramona passes out crowns, saying, they’re all princesses. LuAnn says that reminds her of Feeling Jovani, where she sings about a crown, and everyone is like, all right already. LuAnn tells Ramona, she doesn’t understand. She’d thought the more the merrier, but after reflection, Leah should have asked beforehand. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, when she thought about it, it was kind of rude asking at the last minute. Leah should have given more of a heads up. Ramona tells her, she should have said she’d love to meet Sarah another time. Tinsley and Leah finally catch up, and Tinsley screeches over the crown.

There’s a bar and a small outdoor seating area where the women have a cocktail before dinner. Dorinda and Leah want more vodka in theirs, and Ramona tries to stop Leah. In Leah’s interview, she says Ramona barely knows her, and wants to monitor her in a way she doesn’t monitor herself. Dorinda tells Ramona to leave Leah alone, and Leah says it’s her vacation; she’ll do what she wants. Leah asks the bartender for two shots, while Ramona frets, and mumbles something about Leah being a recovering alcoholic. Tinsley says Leah chose not to drink, and there’s a difference. Leah’s not a recovering alcoholic. Dorinda says they’re in a safe environment, like anywhere around this bunch is a safe environment. She tells Ramona, don’t be quick to judge. In Ramona’s interview, she says, Leah is overconsuming too quickly. What? Leah asks what Ramona is saying behind her back, and Tinsley says she told Ramona that Leah isn’t an alcoholic. Ramona says Leah stopped drinking for seven years. Leah says, it was nine, and while Ramona is her surrogate mother, and she respects that, Ramona doesn’t have to worry. In her interview, Leah says she’s feeling suffocated, and she’s worried if she’s not in Ramona’s good graces, Ramona will blow up.

They sit at a beautiful table, white everything, with white flowers down the middle. Tinsley and Sonja talk on the side. Ramona tells Sonja that she doesn’t want to say anything about Leah’s sister. In Sonja’s interview, she says she understands that Leah’s drinking makes her feel more confident. She’s an unconventional girl in a conventional town. But the strategy isn’t working. Leah sits on Sonja’s lap, and asks Tinsley if she’s going to get thrown out of Rhode Island. She’s having more fun than she’s had in an effing month and a half. In Ramona’s interview, she says she thought Sonja would have her back, but now Sonja is frolicking around, playing with Leah, and encouraging her to act this way. Ramona tells Leah to sit in her seat, and Leah says she’s rude. Leah finally sits, and says, sorry. She didn’t mean to make Ramona uncomfortable. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Leah wants to hang with the girls, but it’s been a while, and she can’t drink as much as she used to. Leah apologizes, calling Ramona mom. LuAnn says, stop freaking her out. While this is going on, Tinsley apologizes to Dorinda. Then Sonja chases Leah around the table. Ramona decides she’s going to tell Leah, because now is definitely the time. Dorinda tells Tinsley that she has so much to give. Dorinda is tough, so she was just trying to toughen Tinsley up.

This is the weirdest scene ever. While Dorinda and Tinsley talk quietly, chaos goes on next to the table. Sonja has now grabbed Leah, who falls to the ground, yelling that she doesn’t want to go on the Morgan yacht. Leah rolls around, and has lost one shoe somewhere. Sonja says Ramona has something to tell her, and Leah says she doesn’t want to go on the yacht. Ramona says she’d love to meet Leah’s sister, but at another time. Leah says, don’t go there, and Ramona says, she’s not coming. I swear, I’d just walk off this show. The paycheck can’t possibly be worth it. Dorinda tells Tinsley, maybe she was wrong. It’s Tinsley’s life, not hers. Ramona says they’ll have a cocktails and conversations party and invite Sarah, and Leah says Sarah is already on her way. Tinsley hugs Dorinda, who suggests they have a reset. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she feels like she’s in Groundhog Day, and she just wants to watch Leah destroy the place. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, bad timing on Ramona’s part. Leah is already bonkers. In Ramona’s interview, she says she didn’t expect a reaction like this. No one was murdered. Leah says she wants to talk to Ramona, but Ramona won’t talk. She says Leah is a little out of control, and Leah says, like no one in the group has been before. Elyse tries hug Leah, but Leah says, get off me. She walks over to the drapes, and pulls at them, and I fully expect the whole thing to come down, but it’s barely disturbed. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she was known as the gangster with blue eyes, but Leah is out of control.

Ramona takes Leah, who has moved on to the crying phase, away from the group. Ramona tells her to pretend like it’s yoga. Breathe in and out. LuAnn thinks Leah was rude to ask if she could invite her sister, and Sonja says Ramona was put on the spot. In Elyse’s interview, she says Leah is taking it personally instead of taking the opportunity to get to know the girls on a deeper level. Asking to bring her sister was a bad idea. Tinsley says, Leah can handle herself, but LuAnn says, clearly she can’t. Dorinda says, Leah’s not used to drinking, and LuAnn says, neither is she. Have they ever seen her behave that way? Yes. We have, and we do again, flashing back to LuAnn falling in that bush, and another clip of her just falling. In her interview, Leah says she’s done crazy in the past. She’s new to the group, and they’re not used to her kind of crazy. Ramona tells Leah that she doesn’t want to change the dynamic. Leah says she’s not staying if her sister isn’t allowed to come. Sonja says she can’t invite someone at the last minute, and Leah says, too late. Ramona can’t say yes, then no. Sonja says, they’ve got her. Sonja joins Tinsley and Dorinda in a hug, and Leah cries some more. LuAnn tells her, these bitches aren’t worth crying for. Sonja tells Ramona, it’s making her upset to see Leah upset. Let her bring her sister. They’re going to push her over the brink. Ramona tells Leah, her sister is welcome, and she’s sorry. In her interview, Ramona says Leah is new to the group, and loves her sister; maybe she’s being ridiculous. She apologizes to Leah again, and hugs her, telling her to stop crying. Ramona says she can be a control freak, but realized it mean a lot to Leah. She had to overlook her own feelings and change her mind.

In the morning, LuAnn does stretches on the terrace. Dorinda goes down to the beach, saying, waves, speak to me. She calls Leah, and asks how it’s going. Leah says she’s alive. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she knows how Leah woke up; the guilt, fear, and embarrassment. All those wonderful things that happen after a night of drinking and losing your sh*t. She’s been there. The Inn hasn’t been burned down; she’s good. Leah says she feels great, and Dorinda says Leah is her kind of girl. She asks if Leah got clarity, and Leah says she found her own clarity; her sister is coming. In her interview, Leah says she didn’t come on the trip in the best state of mind. She doesn’t remember what happened, but she feels like she released a lot of energy. Whatever happened was therapeutic. I like Leah, but it’s pretty selfish to intrude on everyone else’s time with your therapeutic insanity. She really shouldn’t drink. It’s not a good look for her.

Sonja tells Ramona, she feels great. Ramona marvels at Sonja being able to drink up a storm, and wake up fresh as a daisy. Elyse comes by, and says, they’re not dressed yet. Ramona says they like to lounge in the morning. Elyse asks how Ramona is feeling, and Ramona says she knows Leah was a little out of control. Elyse says Leah needed an exorcism. She thought Leah was wrong to ask her sister to come; however, once Ramona said yes, she shouldn’t have rescinded it. In her interview, Ramona says, she likes Leah, but Leah has two sides. The crazy side, and the regular side. She likes the regular side. Save the crazy side for your other young friends. She says, maybe Leah’s sister will be a good influence on her. She tells Elyse that they’re going shopping in town. They can work off what they ate.

The women reconvene, and Elyse asks how Leah is feeling. Leah says, good, and Elyse asks if she’s not hungover. Leah says she’s not, and Elyse says, that’s weird; she’s assuming Leah was wasted. Leah says, that’s the way she is, although alcohol fueled it. That’s how she wants to be all the time. Elyse says, and she wonders why guys think she’s a crazy chick. Ouch. In her interview, Dorinda says, who cares? No one should be judged by one night. Look at the whole group. Ramona asks how Leah is feeling, and Leah says, great. That’s actually a theory I have. Many alcoholics don’t seem to get hangovers. Ramona asks if Leah remembers what happened, and Leah says, of course she does. Bring it on. In Leah’s interview, she says, she doesn’t really want to be like that all the time, but she saw how the women were at the orchard – we flash back to the lunacy at lunch and in the corn maze – and the Hamptons. She thought she was allowed to chug ten martinis and lose her mind.

Leah, Dorinda, and Tinsley take one limo; while Ramona, Elyse, and LuAnn take another. Leah asks if they can believe what Elyse said, and Dorinda says, Elyse isn’t the one who should be giving out relationship advice. Ramona wonders why Dorinda is defending Leah, and Elyse says, Dorinda will give out advice, but everyone else better not. She does an impression of Dorinda calling Tinsley a superficial slut, and then yelling at Ramona not to judge Tinsley. I have to admit, it’s pretty spot-on.

Leah says Elyse was hard on her, but Elyse says she’s Leah’s biggest fan when Leah does normal. Leah says she’d never do that in front of her child, and Elyse asks what if she ends up with a mini me? What kind of message is she sending her daughter? Leah says she can do and say whatever she wants, and effity-eff-eff-effs her way out the door. Outside, she tells Dorinda that she and Elyse haven’t had enough interaction to make it appropriate for Elyse to be in her business. Elyse comes out, and Leah says, her daughter is twelve, and Elyse is asking how she’d feel if her daughter gets wasted? Don’t bring up her kid. Elyse promises not to go there, and Leah says, don’t talk about her daughter. Elyse says, that’s fair, and Dorinda asks why Elyse is in Leah’s business so much.

Dorinda says Elyse thinks she’s some great psychiatrist, prowling around, waiting for someone to make a mistake. In Sonja’s interview, she says she knows Elyse was just trying to be helpful. She suggests instead of breaking bread, they all break Bloody Marys. Dorinda toasts to being judgement free. Ramona says she won’t be embarrassed in Newport, and Dorinda asks what about the rest of the states? In Dorinda’s interview, she says, Leah is twenty years younger; give her a break. They should be guiding, not chastising her. Dorinda says, be inclusive, and Ramona says Dorinda is enabling Leah. Sonja thinks Leah should apologize, and Leah says she’s the first person to say she’s sorry, and take accountability. She got drunk, and enjoyed herself, but she’s sorry. Ramona says it was atrocious behavior, and upsetting to her. In her interview, Leah says, going into Newport, she was angry at herself, but instead of getting support, she got jerked around about her sister coming. Anything she does is wrong to these women. Leah says she thinks she triggered something in Ramona about her past, and it kills her. She tears up. Ramona says she’s blocked it out, and in LuAnn’s interview, she says, that’s a crock of sh*t. Ramona has been coming down hard on Leah, when Ramona is no angel. LuAnn tells Ramon that she’s making Leah feel bad for no reason. Ramona says they don’t know how she feels. In her interview, she says Dorinda and LuAnn grew up in loving homes, while hers was a war zone. She read books, and blanked out her dad and brother’s alcoholic rages. She tells Leah that her intention isn’t to make Leah feel bad. She really likes Leah, and doesn’t want to not like her. Leah says she is who she is, but Ramona says she doesn’t like that behavior. Maybe Leah can curb it; they’ll see. To be continued…

Next time, Dorinda wants to be left alone, Leah throws ravioli at Ramona, and Dorinda and Tinsley are back to arguing.

👩🏼‍🍳 On Top Chef, Karen unpacked her knives to go against Kevin in Last Chance Kitchen. Winner Kevin picked three chefs to go head to head with, and won against Brian full of Malarkey, the other white Bryan, and Gregory. This put Kevin back into the game. Award winning chef, and pioneer of California cuisine, Jonathan Waxman was the guest judge, and for the Quickfire challenge, the chefs were to create a two-course business class dish for an airline. They had to use ingredients found year round, and make the meal to airline tray specifications. Everyone made fabulous meals, but Brian full of Malarkey forgot you don’t get a steak knife on an airplane, making his entrée difficult to eat. Melissa was the winner, for which she’d get an advantage in the elimination challenge. I don’t know if these advantages are some kind of secret or I keep missing them somehow, but I have no clue what it was. Five chefs would be continuing on to the finale in Tuscany, courtesy American Airlines. For the final elimination challenge, they were to produce a dish inspired by Michael’s in Santa Monica, a restaurant owned by another California cuisine pioneer, Michael McCarty. Jonathan was his first chef, and the restaurant was celebrating its 40th anniversary. The chefs were to meet with Michael, and taste his signature dishes, which would serve as an inspiration. They would literally be serving Mike, Jonathan, and alumni from the restaurant.

Melissa was allowed first choice, and picked quail. For Kevin, it was duck; Stephanie, scallops with angel hair pasta; Bryan, lamb; Gregory, monkfish; and Brian full of Malarkey, veal. The idea was to take the dish, modernize it, and give it their own spin, yet keep an homage to the original. The highlight was when half of Brian full of Malarkey’s dishes went to another table, totally throwing him off his game. He stumbled through the long, stupid story that went with his creation, and was annoyed because he’d wanted the food to be eaten in a certain order. When everything had been tasted, Mike said they all took his dishes up to the next level, and Padma thanked them for glorious meal.

Melissa had her best night ever, winning immunity as well. Gail said there was nothing any of them would have changed, which was high praise. Mike told Stephanie that she was right there, and the race was close. Bryan and Kevin were also in, leaving Gregory and Brian full of Malarkey on the bottom. Malarkey said he’d had a great ride, and Padma asked if he was quitting. In his interview, Gregory said, Top Chef messes with you, and thought it was getting to Malarkey. He wanted to win because he deserved it, not because the other chef quit. Gail assured Malarkey that their judgement had nothing to do with the screw-up of his food going to another table. Malarkey said he was upset with the process, since his dishes hadn’t been eaten right. Everyone was like, what? and Gail said he can’t control the food once it leaves his hands. Tom told him that the duo on the plate didn’t talk to each other; there was a distinct clash. Which basically meant the two things he made didn’t go together. Jonathan said it didn’t evoke what Malarkey had babbled talked about. He told Gregory he’d been expecting more, and Padma said there wasn’t enough richness in Gregory’s risotto. I told you that risotto is always trouble.

Tom said, in the end, it comes down to what’s on the plate, and Brian full of Malarkey was told to pack his knives and go. Yay! In his interview, he said he didn’t want go out that way. He had every intention of winning, but his mind melted. He was still proud of what accomplished.

Next time, Italy, a truffle hunt, and making pasta for Italians

📺 Since Andy Cohen is on another one of his numerous vacations, Watch What Happens Live will return on Monday, June 8th. Although after suffering through much of the RHOA Reunion myself – three parts of it, no less – I can’t say he doesn’t deserve this break.

💃🏼 She’s Movin’ On…

Dorinda dishes on getting rid of the old John and chain.

🔥 Missed Hell…

While the 24 Hours to Hell and Back ship sailed without me, you can still watch Gordon discuss it, along with his life in quarantine.

🌥 Lifting the Fog…

We seem to be moving closer to a new yet old normalcy, and I’m moving closer to the end of what might possibly be the longest week of my life. See you tomorrow for tea and words of wisdom. Not from me. From other people. Until then, stay safe, stay out of fights (unless it’s the good fight), and stay mostly on the straight and narrow.

May 27, 2020 – Third Day At the Ball, Gang Up in Santa Barbara, Denise’s Dilemma, Photo Reveal, OC Sorrow, New Med Ride, an Apology, Some Laughs, a Short, Virtual Exhibitions, Two Reunions, Winning & Rolling


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s flashback GH brought another day of the 2014 Nurse’s Ball, from May 14th, 2014. Blackie Parrish (aka John Stamos) didn’t show, so Brad took his place. Maxie was dating that Australian dude who was a cast member for a hot minute, but starting to fall for Nathan. Yoplait was mentioned a thousand times as a sponsor, and old Nikolas was there with young Spencer, who was in love with even younger Emma. Mac brought out Mr. Marbles, who Epiphany stomped into oblivion, much to the delight of the audience, and fake Luke was thwarted from stealing Tracy’s ELQ shares by Ned. Emma and Cameron did the tango, as everyone remembered Duke and Anna the year before. Spencer interrupted their performance by introducing Player, who sang Baby, Come Back, his plea to Emma.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle invited the women to a house she’d rented in Santa Barbara. Garcelle had other plans, and Denise was late, due to filming The Bold and the Beautiful, where she was playing a bitch and loving it. In delicate flower Dorit’s interview, she was upset because Kyle had told her to STFU, and she thought that kind of stuff in a friendship made it uneasy. Really? Kyle was annoyed with the couples therapy remark, since what she and Teddi did was more akin to a Yoga class. For some reason, it bothers everyone that Kyle is closer to Teddi than she is to the rest of them. I have no clue why anyone cares, much less why Dorit keeps demanding Kyle admit it. While I never hung out in a large core friends group, I can’t imagine everyone is equally close. Why is this some deceptive affront? When Teddi arrived, she said she had to go potty real quick, and I thought, that’s a woman with children. It’s really hard to take care of kids all the time, and not consistently phrase things like you’re talking to them. In Erika’s interview, she said Kyle had hurt her feelings – we flashed back to Kyle questioning whether Erika had any good friends – but she wasn’t throwing away their friendship over a bad night. However, there were only so many bad nights she was going to tolerate.

Kyle said she had great memories of her dad, who lived in Santa Barbara after her parents divorced, and thought it was one of the reasons she loved the city so much. Manager Kate welcomed them to the house, and they cruised around in some kind of vehicles that looked like golf carts, but were really double bicycles, with pedals on both the driver’s and passenger’s sides. Dorit wondered why she had to get [stuck with] the pregnant one (i.e. Teddi). When it turned into a race, Erika asked why everything had to be a contest in this group. Although I’m not a fan, it was a good point.

Before Denise’s arrival, the women dickered over confronting her, saying her objection to their adult conversation in front of the kids was hypocritical. I actually made a blech noise when I saw LisaR’s face as Denise sat down. It was that duck suck-it face Max made when they opened the cupcake shop on 2 Broke Girls, but without being intentionally funny. When they got back to their crib, Kyle wondered why no one wanted to look at the gorgeous view with her. Probably because they were too busy prepping to be mean old girls. Moron A-hole Ridiculous bitch LisaR broached the threesome subject to Denise by asking her about filming Wild Things. In her interview, Erika sarcastically said, thank God there were no children around; tender ears. God help me. If I ever see any of these cretinous wretches on the street, I’ll be going to jail. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but it doesn’t take one to understand there’s a difference between being in an adult atmosphere and a home party where there are children present and within earshot. I had to sit on my Twitter impulse through the whole show. Denise said she didn’t think her daughters had seen the film, but in her interview, LisaR was certain they must have. Once again, she couldn’t fathom anything outside of her own experience, saying that her daughters had seen everything of hers, and read the sex manual she’d authored. She didn’t mention that her daughters, especially Amelia, don’t seem nearly as well-adjusted as Denise’s kids. Yes. I went there, since LisaR clearly has a double-standard. God forbid anyone criticizes her parenting, yet she’s very free with advice for Denise. Denise couldn’t figure out why they didn’t get it either. Sutton suggested not inviting the kids if there might be adult conversation. If I had been Denise, I’d have suggested not inviting Sutton, but Denise stayed gracious. She told Sutton, it was her home, and she’d do what she damn well pleased, but in a nicer way.

The not-close friends Kyle and Teddi rehashed everything after the others went to bed. Teddi said, even though Denise claimed she didn’t care and it was no big deal, she’d brought it up multiple times, so she did care. She told Kyle that Denise must be bringing it up to make them feel bad. Since actual facts don’t matter, neither one of them bothered noticing that while Denise did mention it privately to two people, after that, someone else brought it up every time. What is wrong with these women?

At breakfast, LisaR wanted everyone to quit pussy-footing around, and get whatever was bubbling under the surface, out in the open. Dorit brought up something from forever ago, Erika jumped on the Memory Lane bandwagon, and I fully expected the return of Puppygate. Teddi accused Dorit of dragging her into it every time Dorit had an issue with Kyle, and shading her.

Since LisaR’s real goal was to continue haranguing Denise, she told Denise that she was uncomfortable about the conversation that went down, and didn’t like how Denise shut down the threesome dialogue. LisaR said Denise was using the kids to make them feel bad. The one who says kids are off limits. Erika thought Denise was being judgy, and LisaR said she was being contradictory. Erika said Denise inferred they were bad moms, even though she was very free with her own sex talk. LisaR squeaked that Denise had to own it, and asked if Denise talked to her daughters about the hookers in Charlie’s life. In Denise’s interview, she wondered what LisaR’s agenda was, since they’d been friends for twenty years. LisaR knew how fiercely she protected the kids, and it was hurtful. LisaR told the women, there were hurt feelings, and it was good to address it. to which the response was a roomful of crickets. What really creeps me out is, they all act like it’s about honesty and making things right, but their faces tell a different story. After revealing what they deem as truth, but is really an opinion, there’s always this look of triumph, like they’ve won something. So far, the only appropriate prize would be a kick in their Spanxed rear ends.

Next time, Garcelle is honored at the Mission Gala, Denise tells Aaron about the women confronting her, Denise calls Teddi a sh*t-effing-stirrer, and Denise and Aaron leave a party early.

💋 Did She Or Didn’t She…?

I wouldn’t blame Denise if she walked and never looked back. Although I can’t say she wasn’t given fair warning last season, this gang mentality is not a good look.

👨🏼‍✈️ Erika’s Other Man…

He is pretty cute.

🍊 Aftershock…

Jeana speaks about Matt.

The OG’s react.

⛴ They Got a Bigger Boat…

Looks like Captain Sandy got a new ride.

⛵️ Jenna Jenna Sorry…

I thought love meant never having to say you’re sorry.

😆 We Could Use a Laugh…

Bodega Cat rules!

📱 Das Fone Hell…

Actors get creative in quarantine.

🎨 Feed Your Inner Artistry…

Take a tour outside the virtual box.

⚔️ The Reunion for Below Deck Sailing Yacht will air on Monday, June 1st at 8 pm, and the Vanderpump Rules Reunion will begin with Part One on Tuesday, June 2nd at 9 pm. The Shahs Reunion? Who knows? (Yes, I’m still harping on that.)

🎱 So We’re Doomed…?

Referring to the coronavirus, according to Ben Carson, people coming together – this is the way that we will win.

🕸 Clearing the Cobwebs…

After a little over a lifetime two months in quarantine, bans are being lifted and things are starting to open up. Whether you’ll be starting over or just starting to roll again, stay safe, stay considerate, and stay believing it will all work out in the end.

May 26, 2020 – A Ball To Remember, VanderSecrets, What Eddie Cares About, Daytime Emmy News, Virtually NYC & Fire


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s GH was a continuation of the 2014 Nurse’s Ball (specifically, May 9, 2014). Spencer was still practically an infant, Starr was still Kiki, Eddie Maine sang Meatloaf’s You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth, and fake Luke sang I Am What I Am from La Cage aux Folles (one of my favorite songs ever). Fake Luke also asked Tracy to marry him right then and there, and Lucy was happy to officiate. Elizabeth caught the bouquet. They wrapped it up with Magic Milo and his Magic Wands dancing to AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long, ending the song with Nurse’s Ball spelled out on their backsides.

Eddie rocks

Thoughts at the time.

What’s happening this week.

🍸 Tonight’s Vanderpump Rules was a Secrets Revealed special. Hint: there were no secrets. It was basically extended scenes from this season’s episodes, given a boost with interjected videos of the cast in quarantine. Poor Lisa. She’s thinking of bringing the ponies inside. Next week: the Reunion, Part One.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Natalie listens at Kelly’s bedroom door, and hears muffled noises. She bursts in, saying, you MF’ers! and is surprised to see Tyrell and Pat in the bed. Natalie scrambles back out, as Lushion and Kelly are coming in the back door. Lushion asks, what’s wrong? Why is she stuttering? She says she’s been calling him, and he says they’ll talk. He wonders what the noise is, but goes to the living room with Natalie. Kelly investigates, and asks, what the hell is going on? Tyrell, who’s putting on his clothes at this point, says he was… and Kelly says, just leaving. It’s too much. He asks if she’s putting him out, and she says, hell yeah. She asks who Pat is, and Tyrell says, a friend; sorry. She tells them to get their asses out.

Kelly goes into the living room, and says, damn. Lushion asks, what’s going on? and Kelly asks where Natalie is. He says, she’s at the house, and Kelly asks if they can keep Justice a while longer so she can handle this. He says, handle what? and she says, this. Tyrell and Pat come out, and Lushion says, ohh. Pat leaves, and Lushion isn’t far behind. Tyrell says, hey, and Kelly asks why Pat was in the house. He says he and Kelly aren’t together; what’s her problem? She says, seriously? No part of his brain gets it? He just got out of jail, came to her house, and brings a trick to her bed. She asks who it was, and he says, a friend from back in the day. She asks, how far back? Is it Leslie? This totally confuses me, since I swear it was Nurse Pat. Tyrell says, it was nine years ago, and Kelly says, she’s clearly let herself go. He says he’s glad Kelly is out, and Kelly says she is too. He asks how it worked out, and she tells him, the DA dropped the charges. He says he doesn’t have anywhere to go, and can he please stay there. She says, it’s a lot, but let her talk to Justice first. He wants to see Justice, and she tells him, go for a walk. Give her a couple of hours, and let her talk to him. And wash her damn sheets. She wants no trace of that bitch in her house; not a thread of her damn weave. She’s going to take a shower, and he needs to do the same. He asks if she’s saying she wants to… and she says, please. He says he was just asking. It’s good to see her. She says she’ll figure out how good it is to see him when she calms down. He tells her that Natalie attacked them when she came in, and Kelly says, that’s not good. He asks, why not?

Alone in the bathroom, Kelly gets out her phone.

Natalie tells Lushion, he got a text, and hands him his phone. He asks how Natalie is, and she says, good. He tells her something smells good, and she says, it’s the pork chops. He asks if she wants to tell him why she was calling, and she says, Eddie. He was in the house. He just walked in. Lushion says, bastard, and she says, is he? He says Eddie showed her the video, and she says he did. Lushion says Kelly kissed him. She said she was just excited, and he made it clear there was nothing on his end. Natalie asks if there was something on Kelly’s end, but he says she was just happy. Natalie says, and she just happened to kiss him? Why did she text? Lushion says Kelly thought Natalie believed Tyrell and the girl were them. Natalie asks to see it, and Lushion says, no; he’s not going to do that. They’ve been through this about her questioning his love and commitment. Eddie happened to be there, trying to make something of it. She asks if she’s not allowed to have questions, and he says, not when comes to trusting him. She asks if he thinks that’s fair, and he says, yes. Because he knows what kind of man he is, and so does she. She wonders if she can ask one question, but he says, not when it comes to that. She says she’ll just ask Kelly, and he says, go ahead. Lushion types, and she asks if he’s texting Kelly. He says, maybe; maybe not. Let him know when dinner ready. He starts out the door, and she mumbles, a-hole. He says he heard that.

On the porch, Lushion calls Eddie. He asks if Eddie thinks he did something to bring Lushion’s ass down, and Eddie asks how Natalie is. Lushion says, fine. Keep pushing. Bennett drives up, and asks how Lushion is. Lushion says he’s good, and asks how Tanya is. Bennett says, as well as can be expected, and Lushion says he’s sorry. Randal keeps pestering everyone in the neighborhood, so just be aware. He asks why Lushion keeps dropping by Randal’s house, and Lushion says, it’s in his nature; it’s his job. if Bennett sees anything, let him know. Bennett says he has to be careful, or Tanya will think he’s checking on her. Lushion gets it, but he’ll let Randal know that Bennett might do a random stop-by. Bennett says he tried to file a police report on Randal, but he ran into Eddie. Lushion says Eddie is a bit crazy, and asks how it went. Bennett says he didn’t end up doing it, and Lushion says he can help. He tells Bennett to come by tomorrow, and thanks him for being one of the good guys. Bennett says Lushion is too, and drives off.

Ian approaches Lushion, and Lushion says Ian did a great job for Kelly. He wasn’t sure he could trust him. Ian says he told Lushion he could. He tells Lushion that Larry called Carl into his office and offered him a job. Lushion asks what Carl did, and Ian says, the kid held his own. He told Larry, no. Then Larry tricked Ian, and got his phone at the same time Carl was calling, and Ian got fired. Lushion says he’s sorry, but Ian says, it was worth it. He needs to start his own practice anyway… right after he sues Larry. Larry will settle because Ian knows where the bodies are buried. He asks if Lushion has seen Alex, and Lushion says, no; why? Ian says he needs to talk to her. It might be a long shot, but he slept with her around the same time she got pregnant. Lushion says, and he wants to know if the baby is his. Ian says, they met on a dating app, but she slept with a lot of guys. Who knows? Lushion says, just when you think you know someone. It’s crazy as hell. Ian says he’ll talk to Alex later, and Lushion says, sorry about his job. Ian says, it’s all good, and walks back home.

Randal looks on his laptop at a video of Bennett trashing Randal’s house. He says Bennett thinks he’s playing, but he’s got him. He takes the laptop, and heads over to Bennett’s house, where Tanya is painting. He comes up to the window next to her, and she asks what the hell he’s doing. He says he wants to show her something, and she tells him, get away. He shows her the video, and says, that’s her husband. In his house. Tearing it apart. She says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and closes the window. Randal yells, open the door, but she won’t, so Randal just walks in. Since no one ever locks their doors in Maxine. He says he’s calling the cops, and she says, please don’t. She needs Bennett. Randal asks, why? and she says Bennett is sorry; he’s just trying to protect her. She told him Randal was looking at her. She says, it’s too stressful, and he says, what’s stressful? He keeps asking, and she says Randal can’t send Bennett to jail. He asks if Bennett is a good guy, and she nods. He says he is going to send Bennett to jail, and she says she can’t breathe. She starts to scream, and Randal smiles. He says, there’s my girl, and she says it’s all her fault. He takes her medication off the coffee table, and switches it with something he brought with him. He tells her, relax; this will make her feel better. He promises it will help. She takes one, and he says he won’t send Bennett to jail. He wants her to rest. She grabs him, and he says, let him go. She keeps asking him to promise, and he gives her another pill, saying, trust him. Randal tells her that if she tells Bennett about this, he will send Bennett to jail. The pills should be kicking in any moment. He tells Tanya, she should probably have one more, and if she’s more anxious, take another one. He leaves, saying, sleep well.

Marcie watches from Brad’s house, and says, what the hell are you up to?

Steven rigs up the bathroom door, and puts a caution wet floor sign outside. He wraps his hand using toilet paper (now more precious than gold), and Eddie comes out of stall. Eddie chatters on about nothing, and Steven stays silent. Eddie tries to open the bathroom door, and gets shocked. He asks what Steven did to the door; it turns him on. Steven suggests Eddie grab it again, and he does. Although it’s obviously painful, Eddie says it just gets him going. Does Steven want to play this game?  Steven says Eddie told his daughter lies about him and Esperanza. Eddie asks what the hell Steven wants to do about it, and Steven says, beat his ass. Eddie asks if Steven thinks so, and Steven says he knows so. Eddie takes out his gun, and asks if Steven’s got one, but Steven says he doesn’t need one. Eddie asks if Steven knows who the hell he’s talking to, and Steven asks how Eddie is going to explain this one. Eddie says he doesn’t need an explanation to put a bullet in Steven’s punk ass. Steven tells Eddie to get on the phone, call his daughter, and tell her that everything he’s said about her mother is a lie. Tell her that her mother is a wonderful person. Eddie says, that’s not going to happen, and Steven says he hoping Eddie would say that. An officer walks in, and asks, what’s going on? Steven says, nothing, and Eddie confirms, yeah, nothing. Steven says Eddie was just leaving, and Eddie says, yes, he was.

Larry is waiting for Eddie out in the hallway. Eddie asks what the hell Larry wants, and Larry says he wants the money Eddie owes him. Eddie says he blew it on cocaine. Larry says he’s beginning to get the impression Eddie doesn’t want to give it back. Eddie says he doesn’t, and Larry says, okay. He makes a call, and says, do it now. Eddie asks if that’s supposed to scare him, and Larry says, maybe a little. Eddie says, it doesn’t, and Larry asks if there’s anything Eddie cares about; anything he loves. Eddie says he loves him some Eddie. He’s beautiful. Larry says, yes, he is, and Eddie says Larry saw him naked; he’s a beast. Larry says, he is too. The type of beast who eats their own young. Eddie says Larry is a big pussy cat, and Larry asks if Eddie is sure there’s nothing he cares about. Eddie asks how many times Larry is going to ask. Larry walks away, and Eddie says, that guy is an a-hole.

Johnny rouses Alex, who asks if it’s closing time. He says they reopen at 9, and asks if she’s ready to go home. She stretches, and says, let’s go, but he says he means her home. She says she’s not going back there; she’s staying with him. He says, no. People come there, trying to run away from their lives. She tells him, don’t try to save her soul, but he says he’s trying to tell her the truth. He’s seen it all. You can try to drink your life away, and run away from it all, but when you wake up, the problems will still be there. Go home. She says her home is with him. He kisses her hand, and says she’s sweet, but he’s only known her for a couple of hours. She asks if he doesn’t think she’s sexy; she’s had three kids. He says she’s incredible, and Alex says, so don’t throw her away. Johnny says she just met him. Give herself a chance to sober up, and then come back. She says she’s perfectly sober. She touches her nose, and says, come on, but he shakes his head, and says, go home. She says, please. She needs something. Give her a little something. She just wants a little escape. She can’t go back to that life. He asks if she really wants to escape, and takes a packet of white powder out of his pocket. He says, something to help her escape. She says she doesn’t know if she can do that. Does he do it? He says, from time to time; it’s no big deal. She says, okay, and rolls up her sleeve. She says, if she does it, can she stay with him? He says, forever, and she says she wants it. He says, she’s about to get it.

Marcie cleans up after dinner. Brad says, it was good, and she says he sounds surprised. He says, know what else? It was good how good the kids were. She says, they didn’t seem bothered, and he says he still has to watch them closely. She says he did a good job raising them, but he says, Alex did most of the work. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s fine. He has to be. She says, he has her; he doesn’t have to do this alone. He says she hasn’t accepted his proposal, and she says, with all he’s going through, does he really want to talk about that? He says she means that much to him, but she thinks they should take it slow. She kisses him, and says she’s checking on the baby. She goes upstairs, and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Ian.

Brad asks what he can do for Ian, and Ian asks if Alex is there. He’d like to talk to her. Brad asks, what about? and Ian says, the divorce. Brad says, it’s done, but Ian says she still has papers to sign. Marcie comes back, and Brad says Ian is there to see Alex. Marcie says Alex isn’t there; she left Brad with the kids. Ian asks if they know where she went, and Brad says, probably with one of the many guys she’s been dating. Ian asks if she took the baby, and Marcie says she left all the kids with Brad. Brad asks, why? and Ian says he’s just asking. Marcie asks, what’s going on? and Ian says, nothing; he’ll come back. Brad says he thought Ian looked familiar. He shows him the laptop, with a page from Alex’s dating site on the screem. Brad reads, meet me at the Maxine hotel for lunch. How big is he? Marcie is like, Brad… and Ian says, just tell her that he wants to talk to her. Brad says the date is around the same time Alex got pregnant, and he’s pretty good at math. Is that why Ian is there? Does he think the baby is his? If he does, Brad wants a DNA result. Ian says, just tell her that he wants to talk to her, and Brad suggests he call her. Ian says, he’ll do that, and leaves. Brad says, do you believe that? and Marcie says she’s starting to believe anything about Alex. Ian does kind of look like the baby. Brad says, unbelievable. He’s going to help the kids finish their homework. He wants her to sleep upstairs, but Marcie says she’s not going into her room. She asks if Brad remembers the window that looks out to the other house, and Brad asks if she wants to have sex like wild animals. Does she think he’ll see? She says, he will.

Tyrell tells Kelly that she looks beautiful. She says she just got out of jail, and he says, so did he. She says she just wanted to clean up for Justice. She suggests Tyrell go on that walk, and he tells her again that she’s beautiful. She asks if he thought they were going to pick up where they left off. He says that’s not what he was thinking. He needs to get on his feet, and get out of there. She says, good plan; let’s work on that. In the meantime, go for a walk. Tanya walks into the house, and sits in between Kelly and Tyrell on the couch. Kelly says, what the hell? Who is she? Tyrell says he doesn’t know, and Kelly asks if it’s another ho. He says he doesn’t know her, and Tanya says, don’t talk to her or touch her. Kelly asks who she is, and Tanya asks who Kelly is. Kelly says Tanya is in her house. Tanya says she doesn’t like her colors; her colors are angry. Kelly says she needs to leave, and Tanya says it’s pretty there. Tyrell says, she’s off, and Kelly asks her name. She says, Tanya, and Kelly asks if she lives around there. Tanya says, across the valley in the blue canyon. Tyrell says, there’s a blue house across the street, and Kelly tells Tanya that she can’t stay there. Walk back home. Tanya says, Kelly is so rude, and gets up and leaves. Kelly and Tyrell follow her outside, and see her meandering down the street, and swinging around a mailbox. Bennett runs up, and says he was looking for her. She says she doesn’t want to go inside, and he suggests they sit there. She plops herself of the curb, and he sits next to her. She tells him, shut up, but he says he’s not talking. He asks her to come in the house, and she asks what planet he’s from. Randal wanders over. Ugh.

Steven calls Esperanza, and asks if Mica is doing better. Esperanza says, no; she’s been locked in her room all day. He says he’s sorry, and asks if she’s talked to Eddie, but she says, not since she said what she had to say. He’s been quiet, which is really strange, but they don’t need him making things worse. She asks if Steven is okay, and he says he’s fine; why? She says the way Mica spoke to him… and he says she should hear what the kids say on the street. It’s nothing. She says he’s not dating their moms, and he says he’s fine. Go take care of her daughter. They’ll talk later. She notices a pause, and says he was going to say I love you. He tells her, get off his phone. She says she thinks he was, and he says, bye.

Esperanza goes to Mica’s room, and tells her, come on. She opens the door, but Mica isn’t in her room. Esperanza looks through the house, but still no Mica. She hears a scream, and runs outside, as a van carrying her daughter speeds past. She looks frantic.

Next time – three episodes left – Natalie tells Kelly that she doesn’t want to deal with this sh*t, Brad confronts Ian about Alex, Tyrell wants things to be the way they used to be with Kelly, Bennett punches Randal, and Eddie goes crazy.

🏆 Where’s Max…?

While I’m glad to see Jon Lindstrom has been nominated, WTF is Max Gail?

🗽 For Your Virtual Pleasure…

Hint: Snoop is involved.

🌆 Calling It a Night, Even Though It’s Morning…

It’s been a long day, and a long week already, so stay safe, stay in the groove, and stay being a light in a dark place.

May 25, 2020 – Ball Rewind, Final Sail Of the Season, a New Soap, a Little Too Close, Charming Reactions, Aaron’s Job, Say Goodbye Already, See the World & Tears


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s GH was the start of the Nurse’s Ball 2014. We were treated to an Obrecht takeover, treating us with Kathleen Gati singing WIlkommen from Cabaret. It looks like the entire week will be dedicated to episodes from the 2014 and 2015 yearly event.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Avlaki, Corfu. Glenn asks to talk to Nicole, and explains that two crew members saw a guest with white powder under their nose. He wanted to speak to Nicole first, but says he’s obligated to get to get to the bottom of it. If there are drugs on board, it will be the end of the charter. He hopes that’s not the case, but says it was confirmed that the crew members definitely saw something. His next step is to talk to Billy; maybe he has a logical explanation. In Glenn’s interview, he says he could easily lose his license, or go to jail. Glenn tells Billy that a couple of crew members saw evidence of white powder under his nose. Billy says his hand to God, on his mother’s grave, he didn’t bring drugs onto the boat. Madison and Jenna listen in, while Georgia sings in the laundry room. Glenn asks if he can see Billy’s cabin, and if Madison will be a witness. In his interview, Glenn says he found a guest smoking a joint once, plucked it out of their mouth, and tossed it into the sea. If the authorities find drugs on board, it’s a big deal.

Glenn looks through Billy’s bags, and asks if there’s anything Billy doesn’t want him to find. Billy says he has nothing to hide. Glenn comes across some Gold Bond powder, and Billy says he’s not snorting that. Nicole tells another guest, this is so uncomfortable. Glenn says he didn’t find anything, and apologizes. In his interview, Glenn says he’s disappointed, but it sent a message. If there’s anything left, hopefully Billy has the sense to get rid of it. It’s not like he tossed the room. He just checked through some semi-packed bags.

Billy tells roommate Nicholas about the search, and wonders who the crew members were. What’s of interest here is, Nicolas immediately asks if Billy had anything. Billy says, no, but why would Nicholas ask if it wasn’t a possibility? Nicole says, it was intense. Jenna tells the other stews to keep them drinking. In Jenna’s interview, she says she made an observation, and was under obligation to tell Glenn. She didn’t relish ruining the guests’ vacation. Nicole says she just wants not to be stressed. In her interview, Jenna says she wanted to go out on a high note, but it’s going to be an awkward note at best. Glenn tells her there’s not much he can do, and she says it puts a damper on the last charter. Glenn tells Chris that he didn’t find anything, so he’s going to leave it there.

Jenna tells Madison there’s a bad vibe after the investigation. Madison brings Nicole a drink, and  tells her to just breathe in, breathe out, and enjoy lunch. In Adam’s interview, he says, the guests are pissed, crew morale is in the dumps, and it sucks when the last charter goes sour. He has to kill it. Ooh, ceviche. I’ve never had it, but I’ve been dying to try it since I saw it on Shahs of Sunset (and where is that reunion anyway?) Adam serves the guests. Billy says he’s not hungry, and pouts. Jenna tells the guests, the sailing will be from 3 to 6, and afterwards, they’ll have the Greek party.

In Madison’s interview, she says, it’s an utter disaster. Get them drunk, get them fed, get them off the boat, and get the tip. Glenn asks her how the guests are doing, and she says they’re happy. Not so Billy, who decides to stomp up to the bridge and confront the captain. He says he gets that Glenn is doing his job, and it’s a serious thing, but he’s offended. Glenn apologizes, but says they have a blanket zero-tolerance policy. Just because he didn’t find anything, doesn’t mean it’s not on board. Billy says he was pretty effing drunk last night, but that was it, and his effing luxury vacation is now ruined. Please. First of all, boo-hoo that ten minutes was taken out of his luxury vacation because at best, he was acting stupid. And I don’t believe this guy wasn’t/isn’t on something. I’ve pretty much seen it all, and I’ve never seen anyone act like he does when they’re drunk. That dude was high. Billy says, there’s nothing there, and nothing was. He doesn’t know how to deal with this. In Glenn’s interview, he says he would hate for the season to implode when they’re this close to the finish line. A charter is always remembered by the ending. Billy stomps back to the deck.

Glenn calls Ciara, Paget, and Byron to the wheelhouse to talk about the regatta. He says if they want the charter to be a success, put on a big smile and happy faces. They have to sell it, and have the opportunity to finish on a high note. Glenn shows them the game plan, and they get ready to start. The course is set up, and Byron drives one boat, taking Billy (lucky him); and Paget drives the other boat with Nicholas. In Chris’s interview, he says he spent his childhood racing, and it’s heartbreaking. He wants to be out there. In Byron’s interview, he says, of course he’s stuck with the guy who was searched. He hopes Billy doesn’t get pissed off more. A third watch boat goes out, with a few guests, including Nicole. Paget gets a slow start, and the boats race around markers. Byron’s boat goes totally sideways, and into the water. He manages to right the boat, but team Paget wins. In his interview, Byron says he wants to punch Paget. Glenn says, good race, and Billy says, awesome, apparently forgetting his luxury vacation was ruined.

In Adam’s interview, he says, after the awkwardness, the guests’ vibe is getting better. It’s all about the food, and he has no room for mistakes. The guests put on togas and Greek themselves up. Ciara takes what my dad used to call a Navy bath, basically just splashing water on her armpits. Paget tells Byron that he hasn’t gotten Ciara anything for her birthday yet. In the crew mess, Paget tells Ciara, happy birthday, and Georgia looks at them like she hates them. In her interview, Georgia says she has feelings for Paget (don’t we have feelings about everything? that sounds so stupid to me), and the closer they get to the end of the season, she realizes she has to say something. In Ciara’s interview, she says, the season is almost over, and she’s looking for much needed time away from the crew. Madison and Georgia do a happy dance over their last turndown.

A Greek buffet is served. Adam sings, last meal of the season. Billy deigns to eat. Jenna tells Adam that the guests are happy. Nicole says the only thing that could make it better, would be someone rubbing her feet. I’m surprised a crew member doesn’t pop out and do it. In Jenna’s interview, she says she’s trying to do everything she can to make it better, but under the circumstances, she doesn’t know if it’s enough. It’s not a good way to go out.

Glenn tells Ciara, happy birthday. In Glenn’s interview, he says he sees the finish line. They need to keep it going; keep doing their best. The guests toddle out, and Adam makes breakfast. Nicole says she’d definitely charter the boat again, so evidently she couldn’t care less that Billy’s luxury vacation is ruined. Georgia says she’s going to be getting on an airplane so fast, and Madison says she wants to cry. Georgia tells Madison, if Jenna cries, it’s because she threw a rock at her. Paget says they’re all like old men, limping around the boat. The boat is carrying more dead weight than Byron’s jokes.

It’s finally time to say goodbye. Nicole floats off on a cloud of alcohol after giving Glenn the tip envelope. Glenn honks the horn, per tradition. In Paget’s interview, he says, they did it. And if they can do what they just did, the sky’s the limit. Jenna tells the stews that they need to get the boat fresh and ready for whatever she does next. Adam and Jenna talk about going to Venice. Georgia and Madison eat like madwomen in the crew mess. In Madison’s interview, she says she can’t be happier. Jenna joins them, and Georgia says she’s never worked with this big a crew before. Jenna thinks it went well. There were some things that pushed her over the edge more than usual. She says they joked around, but she doesn’t personally mind. Georgia asks if that’s because Jenna is the one doing the bullying. Jenna asks if Georgia thinks she doesn’t get bullied. In her interview, Georgia gives a surreptitious middle finger. Georgia says Jenna makes jokes at other people’s expense, and was having personal jokes with Adam in the galley. Jenna says, to be honest, it was her frustration coming out. She did think there were a lot of stupid questions, so she’d vent to Adam. Georgia says if there were questions, it was because she wasn’t familiar with the field. There wasn’t one day when she didn’t work her ass off. Jenna says she doesn’t disagree, and Madison says, we made it; it’s over. Let’s have one more good night.

Jenna tells Adam that the girls think she can be mean, and they’re afraid of her. Madison and Georgia eavesdrop, and roll their eyes. In Madison’s interview, she says, it’s how you treat people, how you talk to people, and how you manage a team. She’d never want anyone to feel like she was made to feel. She thinks she knows how it should be run, and could handle the job

Jenna tells Byron, when they started in the industry, it was more cutthroat. In Byron’s interview, he says there’s a level of respect that the younger ones need to learn. Georgia tells Madison, if there was a separation, it was because Jenna made it that way. Paget  gives Ciara a gift bag in the crew mess, and she takes out a Leatherman. In her interview, Madison says, how romantic, but in Ciara’s interview, she says she loves practical birthday gifts. Paget says she’s park of the deck team now, and they hug. The crew sings Happy Birthday.

Glenn radios the crew for the debriefing. He says, they got through the final charter, and it was definitely challenging. But even though they had a situation, they still finished on a high note. The tip was $15,000, or $1660 each. Jenna is shocked, along with having a sense of relief. Glenn says they got more than $16K each in tips, and made a total of $143K. It’s a testament to how well they work as a team. He tells them he’s set up dinner at a beach bar; their final night out together. He’s coming along, and tells them to do as much as they can before they head out.

In his interview, Adam says he’s serious about the road trip. Even though it was a terribly emotional time, at this point, Jenna is the closest he’s ever gotten to saying I love you. He doesn’t give his heart easily, and it’s hard to believe sometimes. In Georgia’s interview, she says she can’t ignore her feelings for Paget anymore. It’s been weighing on her for a while, and she has to tell Ciara before Ciara finds out. She has to admit it’s a disloyal feeling, and it’s terrifying. She goes up on deck, where Ciara is coiling a gigantic rope, and asks if Ciara wants help. Ciara says, sure, and Georgia says she kind of has to tell Ciara something before they go. She’s having a bit of a thing for Paget. I honestly don’t get why she feels the need to do this. It’s not like she and Paget did anything but joke around. It seems like she’s just making an idiot of herself. I also don’t get how Ciara would find out otherwise. Does Georgia post her diary online?

Ciara says she already knew that, and it was no surprise. In Ciara’s interview, she says, this is super awkward. Georgia says she hasn’t ever wanted to cross the line, and wanted Ciara to know that. In her interview, Ciara says, let her silence speak for itself. She tells Georgia, you’re fine. In her interview, Georgia says to open up, and have Ciara say she knew, and never thought of Georgia as a threat, is twisting the knife; she wants to jump in [the water]. Again, I’m not getting this. On top of this need to tell Ciara, she wanted a jealous reaction? It’s like some weird mean girl backfire. I thought more highly of Georgia than this. Ciara tells Paget that she was washing the bow, and she and Georgia had a conversation about him. Georgia apologized and admitted she had a thing for him. He laughs, and Byron eavesdrops. Paget says, has or had, and Byron laughs. Paget tells Ciara, if it’s any consolation, he fancies Ciara. She says she hopes so, and they hug. Everyone gets ready for dinner.

The crew gets in the van, and they drive to the beach club. There’s a long, candlelit table near a firepit outside, where they sit. Jenna asks Ciara if they ever initiated the threesome, and Ciara says she wishes everyone would stop bringing it up. Paget says, it’s not happening. Glenn asks what everyone’s high point of the season was. Chris says it was sailing; the feeling of the sea, and the power of the wind. For Paget, it was the regatta, and for Adam, meeting Jenna. Everyone aww-groans. Glenn says the crew blew him away. The people knew, as well as those he just met. He congratulates them on a great season, and they clink glasses. In Glenn’s interview, he says, at the beginning of the season, he was with his core family, but the new crew coming in became like family. They don’t always get along, like you don’t always get along with your siblings, but overall, it was a fantastic family. He goes back to the boat, leaving the crew to their own devices.

Georgia says she’s not going to miss an opportunity to play guitar, taking it out of its case. Paget says he has a request from her number one fan. It’s in his head, but he can’t think of the name of it. He tells her, just play. She plays and sings, and he says, that’s it. I’m pretty sure it’s one of her own songs. In Jenna’s interview, she says, nice of Paget to call himself her number one fan. I think Paget feels a little sorry for her. Paget plays air guitar and sings along. In Ciara’s interview, she says if she never had to hear that song again, it would be way too soon. She cuddles with Paget. The song concludes, and everyone applauds. Georgia asks if they want another one, and there’s a moment of crickets before Madison says she wants to dance. They go to the main part of the restaurant; it’s somewhat enclosed, but has no walls. Byron, Jenna, and Adam stay behind, lounging on a long couch. Chris asks Paget if he thinks they’re falling asleep, and Paget says, they are 30 plus. Paget sees Georgia, and says he wants to tell her something. Oh please.

Georgia tells him, make her night. There’s a brief exchange I can’t really hear, and Paget says, forget about it, and walks away. When he gets back to Ciara, she asks if he loves her. He says, of course, and she asks if he’s happy with her birthday. He says, if she’s happy, he’s happy. Paget rounds everyone up. Chris wants to wait one more song, but Paget suggests they get in the effing van. Back on the boat, Chris writes, it’s over, on the whiteboard.

In the morning, Paget says his head is killing him. Chris complains that he had so many clothes he didn’t get to wear. In his interview, he says it’s scary for him. He started well, but now he’s going to head back to the UK and see a specialist to get his back sorted out. Hopefully he’ll come back better and stronger. In Byron’s interview, he says the crew has been mostly capable, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to work with Glenn. They made great tips, but he can’t wait to see his wife and daughter. He leaves, and wife Hayley meets him on the boardwalk, along with baby Saphira.

In Madison’s interview, she says she learned a lot, and is more sensitive than she thought she was. She takes things too personally, and shouldn’t. She’s going to miss Georgia the most, since she felt like she found a sister. She and Jenna high-five. She tells Georgia, you’re coming with me, and walks out on the dock. Georgia follows, saying she’s been waiting to hear that all season. Georgia and Madison say goodbye, and in her interview, Madison says she knows she’ll be friends with Georgia for the rest of her life.

Georgia asks to talk to Paget. She tells him it was great that she formed a strange, crazy connection, even at the expense of her dignity. She’s glad she met him; no one has gotten her like he has for a while. She gets teary, and says, it’s nice to know someone gets her. It means more than he realizes. Paget says Ciara told him at some point that she thought Georgia had feelings for him, but he couldn’t act on that. In his interview, he says Georgia is a good person underneath all the jokes, and she’s just looking for someone to treat her right. She’s talented, funny, good-looking, and available! Please treat her well. Paget reminds me of the nice college guy who’s gently brushing off the middle school girl who has a crush on him. Jenna tosses her clothes on the bed, wondering how she’s going to fit them in her suitcase.

Paget looks around the boat, and says, it’s a lot of work. Jenna tells Georgia, she knows it was complicated, and Georgia says, that’s the nature of the beast. Jenna says she thought she handled it well, but in Georgia’s interview, she says she thought she’d have team members to rely on. Instead, it was three times more complicated. Just saying. Ciara tells Georgia, it was nice, finding a hardcore bitch like herself.

In Jenna’s interview, she says, she fell in love in this hopeless place. How could she not love this season? Adam tells Glenn that he’s a great captain. He’s had his fair share, and Glenn is one of the few he’d work for again. I notice that Glenn is like, thanks, but doesn’t return that sentiment. In Adam’s interview, he says he’s learned a lot, and being vulnerable may not actually kill him. He asks if Jenna is ready for a road trip.

Glenn, Paget, and Ciara sit in the crew mess. Ciara says, it’s just us again. Glenn says it was a great season, and he’s glad they were there. He’s glad it worked out with Ciara being a deckhand. Ciara says she’s glad Glenn pushed her. In her interview, she says, she realized she’s more capable than she gives herself credit for. Being outside her comfort zone was good for her. She thanks Paget for making it happen.

Meanwhile, on the road… Jenna and Adam, living in a van down by the river. Or at least near the beach. Adam cooks over and open flame, and asks what time the primary wants to eat.

🧼 Leave It To LOGO…

A new soap is born. It’s always a roll of the dice, but if Morgan Fairchild is in, so am I.

👯‍♂️ Joined At the Hip…

While it disturbed my comfort level its first season, this time sMothered actually made me feel a little ill. Returning cast members Dawn and Cher, and Kathy and Cristina, who were not in the first episode, seem relatively normal in comparison to the newbies. And even then, mostly Dawn and Cher.

🍹 Because I’m Obsessed…

And so disappointed. If it weren’t for Naomie’s boyfriend Metul, I would never have had butter chicken.

🕶 I Get It, But I Don’t…

You’re not paranoid if someone really is following you.

🐎 Glad I’m Not Alone…

When the man in black became the man in white, I started feeling lost. By the time Jessie Aaron Paul came on the scene, I was more lost than I was when I was watching Lost. Another disappointment. When will it end?

✈️ Travel the World For Free…

Well, free virtually. Enjoy the Summer Solstice.

Visit Alaska.

Oh the places you’ll go.

🎈 Memorial Times Two…

Sadly, my buddy dog Casey lost his battle with the infection that attacked his kidneys. Run free, little man, run free. And as for you, stay safe, stay sound , and stay passing the open windows.

Casey-August26-2016 (3)

May 22, 2020 – Luke’s Flashback, a Ton Of Tea, a Housewife Auction, 80’s TV, Fun Stuff To Do, a Movie, One More Than a Dozen Quotes & Spice It Up


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s Friday Flashback GH – from April 1, 2015 – revisited when Luke went to the house he’d grown up in, and flashed back to April 1, 1963; the night he inadvertently killed his mother, and deliberately killed his father. It was also when Dee Wallace was on the scene as Luke’s sister Patricia.

🍊 Remember Her…?

You should. Jeana was one of my favorites on The Real Housewives of Orange County. An OG who only lasted a few seasons, she actually seemed to keep the real in the housewife. She and daughter Kara have seen their share of tragedies lately, but I’m sure Jeana considers her exit from the show a blessing.

🚗 With Peter In the Rearview…

Cynthia makes the best of a good situation.

🍬 My Gum Lasts Longer Than Her Relationships…

Oh wait. That one’s been used.

🍹 I’ll Take Charm For $100, Alex…

As if we’re not bummed enough.

😤 Good Luck With That…

Dorinda needs more than a life coach. She needs an anger-management-face-reality-stop-your-bullying-you’re-too-old-for-this coach.

💃🏻 She’s Movin’ On…

So is anyone going to make good on Vicki’s bet Jim and Meghan’s marriage wouldn’t even last four years?

👼🏾 She Sings Like an Angel…

I saw a millisecond of the RHOA Reunion, but even done virtually in quarantine, the women all talked at once. I couldn’t understand why Andy didn’t just cut some mics off. That would have been sweet. Their mouths moving, but nothing coming out. Like it is with sound, minus the sound. NeNe was still telling Kandi that she’d never amount to anything. The one who had a couple of small parts on two now canceled series, telling the Grammy winner who just won The Masked Singer that she’s a loser. Okay.

👗 Going… Going…

Bidding has already started, so get going.

📟 When Big Hair Ruled…

The 80s were the best!

🖇 Productive Boredom Busting…

For the crafty. I do a lot of amazing crafts myself. In my head. Hey, I made a Christmas wreath once, and it was pretty damn mediocre.

The good.

The bad-ass.

And the creepy.

🦍 Also recommended: Godzilla King of the Monsters, now on rotation on HBO, SHO or one of those O’s. Obviously, this is not something to watch for a great storyline, but if you’re craving special effects and giant creatures, this one’s for you. And they’re all in it. Mothra, Rodan, King Kong, a bunch of monsters who I have no idea who/what they are, and the king himself – Elvis Godzilla. I used to love those movies as a kid, and this is one of those times one hundred.

🦜 Quotes of the Week

We’re breaking the law; we don’t want to work with criminals. – Destiny (Constance Wu), Hustlers

No one looks stupid when they’re having fun. – Amy Poehler (I actually beg to differ on this one.)

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.Joe Klass

Lana is real; anything can happen. – Annie Suwan Toborowsky, 90 Day Fiancé: Pillow Talk, referring to a woman showing up who we all thought was a catfish.

Consistency is the true foundation of trust. Either keep your promises or do not make them. – Roy T. Bennett

With great power… comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later. – Rick Riordan

Aside from Dreidel, Dreidel, and that Adam Sandler thing, it’s an untapped market. – Arthur Spooner (Jerry Stiller), King of Queens, referring to Hanukkah songs.

I know that if we are to live with ourselves there comes a point at which we must relinquish the dead, let them go, keep them dead. – Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect. – Amit Kalantri

There is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one’s self, the very meaning of one’s soul. – Edith Wharton

If you always do what is easy and choose the path of least resistance, you never step outside your comfort zone. Great things don’t come from comfort zones. – Roy T. Bennett

In every age, the good old days were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them. – Brooks Atkinson (Boy, is that not the truth.)

How tall am I? Honey, with hair, heels, and attitude, I’m through this damned roof!RuPaul

🌦 Trying To See Blue Sky…

It’s not looking good for my older dog, so if you’re so inclined, say a prayer for my little man; that if our time together is at an end, he go gently into this good night, to wait for me at the Rainbow Bridge. On the upside, my girl who had an old roughhousing eye injury come back to haunt her, is much improved and doing well.

Until we meet again, stay safe, stay human, and stay marching to the beat of a different drum. And add a little spice to your Memorial Day weekend.

May 21, 2020 – Nina Makes a Decision, Dorinda In Denial, a Japanese Tradition & Nice


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

On the phone, Laura tells someone that it’s important to the city and her personally. She needs the details of Nelle’s lawsuit against the hospital. She sees Robert at the bar, and says if he doesn’t mind her saying it, it doesn’t look like he’s gotten much rest. Is he throwing himself into work? He says, it seems that way. The reports of Holly’s death have been greatly exaggerated. She asks if he has any new information, and he says his gut instinct tells him Holly is very much alive.

Maxie says the shots of Sasha are spectacular. She shouldn’t have doubted that Sasha would find a way to rally. Sasha is glad she’s happy, and Maxie says Sasha was a true wreck, but found a way to see the blue skies. Valentin comes in and looks at the photos. He’s pleased they have a signature look they can capitalize on. Maxie says Lucy led her to believe Valentin was going to be a silent partner, and he says he’s not going to make a habit of it. The launch is soon, and he wanted to see the literal face of the product. He’s leaving the beauty promotion in Maxie’s capable hands while he focuses on other ventures.

Ned talks to Tracy on the phone, and says, a third party is after Dylan’s shares… He’s trying to trace them. Apparently they’re searching for other parties willing to sell. He’ll let her know if he finds anything further.

Also on the phone, Olivia says no one’s ever said anything to her like that before. Brook walks in, but Olivia doesn’t know she’s there. Olivia says, they see through to her soul like no one else can. Brook clears her throat, and Olivia says she’s got to go. Brook asks if Olivia is going to pretend she didn’t walk in on an emotional phone call, and Olivia says, it’s not what it looks like. Brook says, it sounds like Olivia is having an affair behind her dad’s back.

Jax goes to Nina’s office, and she wonders if he’s checking up on her. He asks if she’d be upset if he was. He knows it’s a big day, and she asks if he’s there to wish her good luck. She doesn’t know if she should stand up for Nelle, but if she doesn’t, who else will?

Nelle swears to tell the truth with her hand on the Bible. Willow grasps Michael’s hand, and Carly shakes her head.

Laura tells Robert, she doesn’t understand. Did the ship not sink? He tells her, that’s not what he’s saying. Mac and Anna didn’t give him the whole story. The Bureau has a theory about the ship. Laura asks if Mac and Anna believe Holly survived, and he says he didn’t say that. They don’t know his ex-wife the way he does, but until he gets information on the Bureau’s theory about who sunk the ship, he can’t find whoever’s holding her. Does Laura think he’s nuts?

Olivia says she’s not cheating on Brook’s dad; she loves Ned very much. Brook says, when she came in, she clearly heard Olivia tell someone no one has ever said that to her before. Atrocious song lyrics, but it sounds like an affair. Olivia says, this is her house, and she doesn’t need to explain herself. Brook says, it’s Monica’s house. Alan gave it to her. (I laugh.) Olivia says, so they’re both guests in Monica’s house, and Brook says, if Olivia doesn’t want to tell her, she’ll tell her dad what she heard and he can judge for himself. Olivia says Ned has enough on his plate, not to mention the trouble Brook’s caused. How many times has she been arrested? Does the PCPD have a cell with her name on it yet? Brook says, they were misunderstandings, and Olivia asks if that’s what Brook is calling assault and disturbing the peace. She’s not having an affair. She was talking to a psychic.

Valentin tells Maxie, he brings good news. Deception is going to be one of the main sponsors of the 2020 Nurses Ball. Maxie says, the exposure alone will be huge, but she also thought it would be months before their launch party. Valentin says he’s excited about the shots, and Maxie tells Sasha, whatever she did to get her head back in the game, it worked. Sasha flashes back to the being given the vial of cocaine; a little something to get her through the shoot.

Jax says Nina told him that she had second thought; he’d like her to lean into them. She asks if he thinks it’s a mistake. Doesn’t he think Nelle deserves a second chance? He says, it’s true people change, but if she’s wrong, Wiley will pay the price. She knows the risk. Not only will a child suffer, she’ll feel responsible, and he doesn’t wish that on her. She says if she doesn’t stand up for Nelle, if she treats Nelle like everyone else does, and Nelle loses, there will be virtually no chance for Nelle to turn her life around.

Martin asks Nelle to tell the court how she felt when her baby was horribly and shamefully stolen. Diane objects, saying Martin isn’t asking questions, just giving his Southern fried opinion. The judge sustains it, but tells her to please refrain from descriptive adjectives. Martin asks what Nelle’s reaction was when the son she previously thought was dead, was alive. She says she was confused at first, and so overwhelmed that her little boy was alive. But she was also incredibly hurt to think Brad orchestrated the entire thing. She thought he was her friend. He switched her baby with the boy he adopted, and watched her grieve for nearly two years. How could he be so cruel? And when he asked Michael to be Wiley’s godfather, it was untenable. (Apparently, Nelle reads.) Martin says she wasn’t the only person hurt by Brad’s actions. Her new husband believed he was Wiley’s grandfather. She says, Jules bonded with the boy he believed was his grandson. Once he found out, the pain brought them closer together. Sam and Carly look at each other. She says they were shocked, but it gave them a connection – and possibly something more.

Brook asks where Olivia found a psychic? Late night TV? She laughs, and Ned says, enough. Brook says who spends good money on someone sitting in a call center? Olivia says the psychic isn’t in a call center. She’s well-renowned, and comes highly recommended. She’s sure it’s totally legit, and how else can she find out about Dante? Brook says she’s so sorry. She didn’t stop to think. Olivia says she never does, does she? She walks away, and Ned follows. He says he knows how bad she wants to be reassured about Dante, and Olivia says she doesn’t know what to do. Her letters come back unopened, and she has no way of knowing if he’s okay, or if he’s getting better. He says he’s sorry he hasn’t been available. He’s been so busy with ELQ, obsessing over who’s trying to mount a hostile takeover of the family’s shares, he didn’t see she’s obviously in pain.

Sasha tells Maxie, it was important to Deception, and a chance to prove herself. If the company does well, so will she. She knows a lot of people don’t trust her after she deceived Nina, and wanted to use every trick in the book. Maxie says that’s why they’re lucky to have her. Maxie suddenly stumbles a little, and Peter asks if she’s okay. She says she’s just a little lightheaded; probably too much coffee. Peter says, executive decision. She needs to take a break. She says, a short one, and then back to work. They leave, and Valentin asks if Sasha is okay.

Martin asks if Nelle and Julian are in love. Nelle says she would never speak for her husband. She respects him too much for that, so she’ll let him answer. What she will say is that Julian loves Wiley deeply. She knows he’d do anything to protect and keep her son safe. They have that in common, and the way Julian talks, she knows he loves Wiley abundantly, and will make an excellent co-parent. Sam looks sick, and Nelle says, Julian loves Wiley as much as she does. She could never find anything more appealing than that.

Nina tells Jax, she knows what it’s like to have no one in your corner, and hope things work out; what it’s like to be lonely. Jax says there are a lot of words he’d use in relation to Nelle, but Nelle isn’t lonely. Nina says Nelle feels abandoned, and with no one there to back her up, she might lash out. She might go back to prison. He says, if she does, it will be her own fault. Nina isn’t responsible. Nina remembers asking Nelle if she’s blackmailing Julian, and Nelle says she had to resort to desperate measures. Nina understands what mothers do to keep their child safe, and no one should be able to take them away.

Martin asks why Nelle feels she deserves sole custody of Wiley, and Nelle says she’s already lost two years with him. Then Michael cruelly kept Wiley away from her. He’s selfish and entitled; not lessons she wants passed on to her child. She’s paid her debt to society, has an amazing job at Crimson, roots in the community, and a husband who loves her son as much she does. She wants to dedicate the rest of her life to making sure Wiley has the home family deserves. Martin tells her, well said. He has no more questions. Diane says Nelle stated she has roots in the community, and wants to dedicate the rest of her life to make sure Wiley has the best family possible. Nelle says, that’s exactly what she wants. Diane asks her to tell the court, why on the night she allegedly discovered her son was alive, she raced to the apartment where Willow was taking care of him, and assaulted Willow? And then attempted to abduct Wiley, and take him out of the country. Martin objects, saying it’s inflammatory. Diane is clearly badgering the witness with pointless verbal assaults and unfounded accusations.

Laura tells Robert, they all believed Nikolas was dead, and were proven wrong. She’s the last person to give up hope of survival. She asks if Robert has any proof other than his gut feeling? Is there evidence? I have to interject, there’s about the same amount of evidence as there was with Nikolas – no body. Robert says the evidence is there, but he needs to find it. He could use a partner. He tried Luke, but his line has been disconnected. He asks if she has Luke’s current contact, but she says, sorry; she doesn’t. She thinks his best bet is to go through Tracy.

Olivia says, since when is someone is making a play for ELQ? and Ned says he’s had his suspicions for a while. Nelle sold her shares to an anonymous third party, and Tracy has rejected several offers for Dylan’s shares. He asks if they can talk about it later, and she says, of course (🍷). He tells her, Brook had no business eavesdropping, much less criticizing, but he’s not sure it’s the best way for Olivia to get help. Olivia says she feels helpless. Rocco had a Take Your Dad to School Day. He says, and Rocco didn’t have Dante. She says, even worse. Rocco could have taken Ned or Sonny, but he took Dustin. She confronted Lulu about why she was pushing Dustin on Rocco, and Lulu said it was Rocco’s idea. She’s only been seeing Dustin a couple of months, and Rocco is already looking at Dustin like a father figure. It’s like her son is being erased. If that happens, what motivation will Dante have to get better or come home? She feels like she’s running out of time. She gets that people think psychics are stupid or silly, but the psychic is the only person telling her it’s going to be okay. He says, if what’s happening to Dante happened to Brook, he’d go crazy, but doesn’t she think it’s possible the psychic is just telling her what she wants to hear?

Brook calls Linc, and says she saw his social media. She knows he’s staying in Port Charles, and needs a face to face with him.

Valentin says, he gathers Michael married Willow, but Sasha doesn’t reply. She picks up her bag, and he says, sorry about that. She says her personal life is personal. Their break-up had nothing to do with Deception, and doesn’t affect her role as the face of the brand or as a partner. Valentin says he genuinely wanted to check on her. He’s been where she is, and knows what it’s like to lose somebody based on something you’ve done. Nothing is ever as black and white as it looks on the surface.

Jax says Nina’s impulse to stand up for Nelle is admirable, but he doesn’t think Nelle is capable of accepting kindness; she’s too damaged. The worst outcome would be if she raised Wiley to follow in her footsteps, and he turns vindictive, and incapable of love. Nina’s phone makes noise, and she says she had an alert on it. If she’s going to testify, she needs to leave now.

Martin says there’s no evidence that his client was trying to flee the country; the charges were dismissed. Diane says, they were dismissed without prejudice, meaning they can be filed again, like with Nelle’s attack on Willow. She asks if Nelle loves her husband, and Nelle says, with every fiber in her being. Diane says, as of this morning, it would seem. She has no further questions. Michael asks what about sticking to the plan, and Diane tells him it never hurts to remind the court of the plaintiff’s alleged kidnapping charges. Martin calls Julian to the stand. Julian tells Nelle, he thought he wasn’t supposed to testify, and she says, buck up. Plans change, and it’s showtime. She doesn’t have to remind him what’s at stake. He sighs, and gets up.

Martin says there are a lot of opinions on their marriage, but the only two that are relevant belong to Julian and Nelle. He asks if it’s true that they want to give Wiley a loving stable home, and that’s why they married, and Julian says, true. Martin asks if it’s also true that Julian was the nurturing figure in Wiley’s life when he’s son Lucas tragically ended up in a coma. Julian says, when Lucas was in a coma, his husband Brad was an emotional wreck, and he stepped in to fill the void. Martin asks if it’s fair to say he loves Wiley as much as Lucas, and Julian says, that’s exactly how he feels. Martin says the elephant in the room is Julian’s prison record. He was sent to Pentenville. How long since he was released? Julian says, three years, and Martin asks, in that time, has he had any brush with the law? Julian says, not so much as a speeding ticket, and Martin asks what he does for a living. He says own Charlie’s pub, and Martin says, it has historical significance in Port Charles. Julian supposes it does, and Martin asks if it’s fair to say he cleaned up his life. Julian says he has, and Martin says they all commend him for it. He has no further questions, and Diane says, yes, the elephant in the room. Drug trafficking, assault, extortion, attempted murder… Martin says, not all of those have been proven, and she says, there was enough evidence to convict Julian. She asks who Alexis is to Julian, and he says, his ex-wife. Diane says, whose throat he held a knife to, and threatened to kill, as well as helping his sister (the other) Olivia try to blow up Port Charles. Julian says he was forced to do those things, and Diane says, he’s perfect for Wiley. She’s done with the witness. Nelle tells Martin, do something.

Maxie picks at her food, and pushes the plate away. Peter says she barely ate, and she says she’s not hungry. He doesn’t want to tell her what to do, but if she’s under the weather, maybe she should see a doctor. She says she loves that he’s looking out for her, but she doesn’t need a doctor. It’s just… He says, what is it?

Olivia tells Ned, they’ll have to agree to disagree. Her opinion about psychics is just as valid as his. He says he’s not trying to change what she believes, but he doesn’t want to see anyone take advantage of her pain. She says it’s the only thing giving her comfort. The doorbell rings. It’s Robert, who apologizes for showing up unannounced. He promises it won’t take long. Olivia tells him, come in, and Ned asks, what’s going on? Robert says, it’s not public knowledge, but Holly was on a boat that sank, and is believed to be dead. Olivia says she’s sorry, and Ned asks what he can do to help. Robert says, there are certain discrepancies in the Bureau’s report that don’t add up. He’d like to ask Luke for help, but the only way to contact him is through Ned’s mother. Ned says he’s been down that road with Luke, and Luke gets scratchy if he gives out the number. He’ll call his mother, and let her know what’s up. Robert says he appreciates it, and Ned goes to make the call. Olivia asks how Robert is holding up, and he says he hates every minute. The only thing worse than accepting the fact Holly is lost is that he’ll never see her again. Why does he have the feeling he’s not the only one who’s been through the wringer today?

Linc and Brook meet at the MetroCourt. He says he’s surprised she wants to hook up with him, but she says the only thing she has in mind is business. He says their business was concluded when she bought herself out. She says he never wanted her shares. He was just a front for a third party, and she wants to know who.

Sasha says she wishes she could trust Valentin. He says, it’s not tough. Talk to Lulu. She says according to Lulu, he’s always wrong. She posed as Nina’s daughter for the money, but she also knew there was no girl being cheated out of an inheritance. She knew he truly loved Nina, and the more she got to know Nina, it was clear Nina loved him back. Even after all this, she still has sympathy for what he was trying to accomplish. Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reason. He says that’s why he hired her; she’s a good person, and he knew she’s be a good daughter for Nina. She asks if he’s not sorry, and he says he is, and he’s sorry she’s still paying the price. If it’s any consolation, the brand is going to be a massive success, and make her a very wealthy woman. She says, too bad money can’t buy happiness, and Valentin agrees. He leaves, and Sasha flashes back to Michael telling her that he loves her, and her saying she loves him too.

Julian finds Sam in the hallway messing with her phone. She turns to him, and he says, Sam, please… She hauls off and smacks him good. As we all want to.

Julian tells Sam, he understands why she slapped him, but let him explain. She says, and make a bunch of excuses? Don’t bother. He asks her to hear him out. She says she told Lucas about his new stepmom. He says he’d hoped to tell Lucas himself, but she says she saved him the time. Lucas’s exact words were, Julian is dead to him, and after listening to his ridiculous testimony, she feels the same way. He says, Sam, please… and she says, don’t Sam please her anything. The worst part is he used the most painful thing that ever happened to Lucas against him, and allowed Nelle to weaponize Wiley to use against Michael. If Nelle gets custody, she was going to say she’d never talk to him again, but been there, done that. He’s dead to her too. He says everything he’s done, he did for his kids, and she says she’s not on that list anymore. She and Lucas are better off without him in their lives, and if Leo eventually comes to the same conclusion, they’ll be there to support him.

Olivia gives Robert some coffee, and he asks if she wants to talk about it. She says Brook overheard her call a psychic, and one thing led to another. She told Ned, and he was nicer than Brook was, but ultimately, he thinks the same thing. Robert says, who’s to say she’s certifiable? Not him. He spent time in the outback, and the Aborigines are a very spiritual people. What we look upon as superstitious, they look at as a natural part of life. He asks what she hopes to find, and she says, Dante. She needs to have some hope that he’ll be okay, especially since the whole world is moving on without him. She has to keep fighting, and believing he’s okay. If the only person who gives her hope is a psychic, Robert must think she’s crazy. He says she doesn’t want to give up hope, and he doesn’t want to give up hope about Holly. There’s nothing crazy about that. Ned comes in, as Olivia takes Robert’s hand.

Brook tells Linc, it all makes sense. The way he stonewalled, then agreed to let her buy herself out. The shares weren’t for him. He’s the front man. Who’s pulling the strings? He says, whatever decision he made about the shares is none of her business. She asks who he sold them to. She’s not leaving until he gives her a name.

Valentin sees Laura at the MetroCourt, and she tells him that she’s curious. Did he get an invitation to Windymere for the unveiling of Ava’s portrait? He says he did. He thought it was a joke, but doesn’t know if it was Ava or Nikolas twisting the knife. She hopes he chooses not to go, for Charlotte’s sake. And Nikolas’s. He doesn’t need any more trouble, even though he’s asking for it. He says he threw it away. He doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone in Port Charles.

Julian goes back into the courtroom. Judge Lowe asks when they can expect Martin’s next witness, and Diane says, yes. How long are they supposed to wait for this mythical witness? Nina and Jax walk in, and Martin says, here she is now. Not so mythical after all. Quel disappointment.

Martin calls Nina to the stand. Jax sits next to Carly, who asks what the hell they’re doing. He says he has no idea.

Maxie looks at a calendar on her phone, while Peter takes a business call. When he comes back, he says she hasn’t taken another bite. Is she sure she’s okay? She says, she’s sure it’s stress from work, but maybe he’s right, and she should see a doctor.

Sasha digs in her bag, and the woman who gave her the coke appears with another vial. She says, for next time, but Sasha says, it was a one-time thing. The woman says, keep it. You never know when you’ll need another boost.

Laura calls Anna, and leaves a message to give her a call when Anna has a few minutes to talk. She ran into Robert, and to be honest, she’s worried about him.

Ned comes back, and gives Robert the number to Luke’s latest burner phone, and says Luke is expecting his call. Robert thanks him, and says he appreciates it. Olivia tells Robert to look out for himself, and he tells her to do the same. After he leaves, Ned says Olivia seems like she’s feeling better, and she says she is. She guesses you never know who will come up with the right words to say.

Linc tells Brook, it was a one-time deal, and he has zero obligation to tell her anything. The person wants to remain anonymous. She says she still hasn’t gone public with what he did to her. Powerful men have lost careers because of me-too. He asks if she’s threatening him, and Valentin comes by. He says let him take it from here, and Linc leaves. He tells Brook, he’s been looking forward to this moment. He’s heard a lot about her.

Nina is asked if she’ll tell the truth. She hesitates. She looks at Jax, then looks at Nelle. She swears to tell the truth. So help her God.

There was no preview for Monday, but tomorrow’s GH is from April 1, 2015, and contains scenes from the original first episode in 1963.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Leah meets LuAnn for lunch. Both of them aren’t feeling well, with some kind of respiratory ailments. Hmm… In Leah’s interview, she says, the orchard trip was bullsh*t. They wait for Tinsley, and order in the meantime. LuAnn says, poor Sonja, and Leah says she did it to herself. We see a clip of Sonja throwing up in the limo, way too close to Tinsley. Leah says she loves crazy, but this is bad crazy. Dorinda, Sonja, even Ramona. LuAnn says, they have their issues.

Ramona, Dorinda, and Sonja go for a workout with Ramona’s instructor Bergen. Ramona says Bergen transformed her body. Dorinda says, yesterday was a long day. Bergen puts  them through their paces. How any of them can work out after what they consumed the day before is mind boggling. It’s not like they’re eighteen.

Leah tells LuAnn that she’s sympathetic and empathetic. Dorinda is grieving and dealing with the break-up, but to say what she did to Tinsley… Leah wonders where it’s coming from. LuAnn says, there’s a lot of judgment on Dorinda’s part. They have to step in and help figure it out. Tinsley joins them, also coughing.

Sonja says, this is the worst punishment ever. In her interview, she says, workouts shouldn’t even be legal. Dorinda says she thought it was beautiful yesterday, and Ramona says it was a beautiful setting. Dorinda says she thinks Ramona is concerned about Sonja, and Sonja says when she sees them go off rails. Ramona was overly friendly and flirtatious. Ramona says Sonja wasn’t in control, and past the point. She wants Sonja healthy and happy. Sonja says she has to be careful out in public. Sonja asks what was with Dorinda yelling at Tinsley, and Dorinda says Tinsley has played the victim and little girl enough. They could all be victims.

LuAnn say she’s had issues with all the women in the past, and Tinsley’s reaction is defensive and yelling. In her interview, LuAnn says, Tinsley does the wrong thing. She screeches, and Dorinda reacts with aggression because she’s annoyed. Leah thinks the real issue is that Tinsley was born into a life that Dorinda puts on a pedestal. LuAnn says, that doesn’t mean she can judge and get away with it. Leah says Tinsley has to stop being defensive. In Leah’s interview, she says, if you let people walk all over you, and don’t make them respect you, it’s never going to happen. If Tinsley stood up to Dorinda, and said, bitch, mind your own business, Dorinda would back off.  She says, Tinsley needs to thug her out, and LuAnn says Tinsley screams like a child having a tantrum. Tinsley stamps her foot, and says that’s just her.

Ramona tells Dorinda, Tinsley is mentally and emotionally not her age. She feels sorry for Tinsley. Dorinda says, God helps those who help themselves (which, BTW, is found nowhere in the Bible). In Ramona’s interview, she says, Dorinda thinks Tinsley plays the victim, but Dorinda is victimizing Tinsley. She tells Dorinda, it’s challenging to be around them. Tinsley is psychologically co-dependent, and Dorinda is frustrated. Dorinda needs to take a step back. Someone didn’t give Tinsley the right tools.

Tinsley says Dorinda is doing, and she’s reacting. Leah suggests an intervention, which doesn’t get a positive reaction. LuAnn says maybe at a health spa could be cool, as long as nothing gets broken. It’s totally up to Tinsley. Leah tells Tinsley not to go Cardi B, but go Dalai Lama. Cardi Lama.

Dorinda goes to see life coach Daryl. She tells him that she recognizes where her anger is coming from; it’s frustration, and it comes out because she wants a person to be the best they can be. In her interview, she says she started with Dr. Daryl three months ago, to help her process what’s going on. It became too much, and she’s not good at asking for help. She tells Daryl that she and Tinsley are too different for her to tolerate Tinsley. Daryl says they can be respectful when they’re face to face. All we see is what’s on the surface, when underneath is a whole world we don’t know about. Dorinda says she handled it poorly because she’s going through something. In Dorinda’s interview, she says dealing with the house and the break-up is having an effect on her personality. She’s been going through the house thing for a year, and she’s not just throwing away part of her life. It’s under water, and too painful to go through, plus, it’s ruined. Daryl sees that it stirs up her emotions. Dorinda says, it’s making her angry toward people. She felt lost after Richard died, but instead of taking it on, and allowing herself to be in a sea of it, she pretended everything was okay. She didn’t acknowledge the tremendous loss, from motherhood down, that was making her angry. In her interview, Dorinda says, she never put a period on the life she once had. In the process of resurrecting the house, she had to let go of a lot of things that, without knowing it, kept her tied to the past. Daryl says, she feels stuck, and Dorinda thinks that’s what got her here. She was trying to explain it to John. She’s trying to be completely selfish, and mindful of herself about what’s going on. Daryl asks about John, but Dorinda says she hasn’t seen him. In her interview, she says her daughter said she and John met too quickly after Richard’s death, but you do what you’ve got to do. She doesn’t regret it, and she’ll always love John, but she’s in a different place than she was when she met him. Daryl tells her to focus on what she needs to do. She needs time and space. She says she’s sort of enjoying it; it’s a relief to just worry about herself. Her life is quieter, and she needed the noise to go away. She can’t take it right now. Daryl says she’s always been taking care of someone else. She can still do that, but put her own needs first. She says, it feels good.

In LuAnn’s interview, she says when she heard it would be a spa day, she didn’t think of a Russian bath house. We see a clip of Leah on the phone, saying she wants get the group to go to a place in the neighborhood. It’s an oasis of relaxation, and good for detoxing. Maybe they can get to a better place. They definitely need something to relax as a group. In her interview, Leah says, it’s a New York institution, and has more character than an East Side spa.

Tinsley wanders in, and the woman at the reception desk gives her a locked box to put her jewelry in. Tinsley tells her, thanks, but no thanks. Leah orders lunch for the women, and meets Tinsley at the vodka bar. It’s really cool. There are glass jars of fresh herbs and fruits that the vodka is strained through. Tinsley tries a ginger shot, and declares it delicious. The bartender tells her that Russians don’t sip; they down the shot. She says she’s American.

In the limo, Dorinda tells LuAnn that she doesn’t go downtown much, and LuAnn say she’s not thrilled. Dorinda says the only time she’s down there is for a legal certificate, jury duty, or jail. I actually had jury duty there once. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, past Canal Street, there’s a weather change; it gets greyer. Geez. Elitist much? LuAnn says she’s only been down there when she got a summons. LuAnn says she had lunch with Leah and Tinsley, and Dorinda says she’s sure she was the topic. LuAnn says they were trying to figure out how to approach her, so they can make things better. Leah thought gangster was the way to go. Dorinda says that’s why she and Leah get along. Leah is also a great mother, and Dorinda respects that. Leah has been through a lot, and Dorinda doesn’t want to live in a fantasy world like Tinsley.

Everyone – clients and employees – is given a Gilligan type hat to protect your head, but I’m not sure from what. In Ramona’s interview, she says the spa is rustic, and not what she’s used to. It reflects how Leah is; rough around the edges. Ramona tells Tinsley to let things go with Dorinda. She told Dorinda that she was being a bully. Leah says, positive vibes only.  

As Dorinda and LuAnn approach the spa, Dorinda mentions there’s a strip club down the road. Sonja wanders in after them, and says, oh Lord. Inside, Ramona looks in the mirror and says she would pick up herself. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she’s going to let things go. She and Dorinda can stay on opposite sides of the room; that’s how they’re going to play it. Sonja comes in and asks if this is where jury duty is. In her interview, Sonja says, there’s graffiti everywhere. She avoids areas like this uptown, and downtown, it’s everywhere. Leah says they’re doing the dry sauna first. Sonja says, it’s like a prison; very bare bones. As they sit in the sauna, Dorinda informs Leah that Richard never knew she had fake boobs, and insists Leah feel them. They move on to a massage called banya. One of the couples on 90 Day Fiancé did this too. A couple of dudes hit them with branches as they lie on the tables. Ramona says she’s getting beaten by weeds. LuAnn feels like she’s being attacked by a tree. There’s some sexual banter, and in Leah’s interview, she says she thought she was horny. These women are more desperate than she is. In LuAnn’s interview, she says if she’s going to be beaten by a bush, she wants two hot guys to do it. I’m shocked they didn’t take this opportunity to show the clip that keeps on giving – LuAnn drunkenly falling into a bush. She says she’s turning over a new leaf, and probably wondering how she can include this in her cabaret act. Ramona thinks it’s a little sensual, and Leah says it’s the most action had in a while. In Sonja’s interview, she says she doesn’t know what this does, but after this, she might try S&M. Tinsley doesn’t want to do it (no surprise), and Leah tells her that she’s not being a part of things. In Tinsley’s interview, she says how does she know she’s not allergic to the branches, and it looks weird. Next is a foot scrub, which gets a little more interest, and now I’m jealous. They’re told to lie face down for the foot scrub, but Dorinda says, the last time she did that, she ended up with Hannah.

They go to a room with a private hot tub, where lunch is laid out; a beautiful spread of upscale Russian food, with caviar of course. LuAnn says crazy parties must go on in this room. The women descend on the caviar, since it’s something they recognize. Leah makes a toast, saying, when they first met, she thought she wouldn’t fit in as a downtown girl. But as time has gone by, they’ve opened up to her, and she appreciates it. They clink glasses. LuAnn thanks Leah for bringing them down there. She’s never seen anything like it. Ramona says she’s been looking into the group going to Newport, Rhode Island. LuAnn says, it’s gorgeous (truth! I’ve been there), and Ramona says it’s about a three-hour tour drive. In Leah’s interview, she says, before they plan another trip, they have some leftover drama to handle from the last trip. Nobody is talking about what they should be talking about. Leah says she feels like there’s an elephant in the room. She tells them, she speaks from the heart. After the orchard trip, she cried, and they need to acknowledge their sh*t. She saw people attacking each other a lot, and she thinks they should acknowledge that. Dorinda says she acknowledges it, and LuAnn says, Tinsley felt ganged up on, and rightly so. Dorinda says it was Tinsley’s flip comment that started it. We flash back to Tinsley at the orchard, mumbling about Dorinda being judgmental. Ramona says they want to figure out a way for that not to happen again. She tells Dorinda, there’s a pattern when she’s upset. She goes for the jugular, and hits below the belt. Ramona doesn’t think Dorinda recognizes it. Dorinda says Ramona does it all the time, so she can recognize it easily. In Ramona’s interview, she says there Dorinda goes, flipping it around, and pointing fingers at someone else, because she doesn’t want to recognize it in herself. Dorinda throws in how Ramona asked what she’d do if she found John texting other women when they were in a group. We flash back to that, and Ramona counters with the time Dorinda made a snide remark about a mug shot to LuAnn, and we flash back to that. Ramona says Dorinda does it all the time, and Dorinda tells Ramona that you don’t say things like that in a group, and she should pull Dorinda aside. In Dorinda’s interview, she calls Ramona a living vampire. She sucks the life out of people, Ramona tells Dorinda not to make it about her, and LuAnn says she’s not being specific. Leah says she wasn’t trying to blow up the table. She wanted to have a dialogue. She adores and respects all of them, and has a special bond with Dorinda. But she’s terrified that if she does something wrong, she’ll be on the other side of it. Ramona says Dorinda is scary, and Dorinda says she’s scared of Ramona. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, Dorinda goes for someone else, so it’s not about her. Tinsley says she respects Dorinda, and doesn’t judge her, and Dorinda insists she doesn’t do that. Everyone clinks glasses, probably because they gave up, and Leah says, a judgement free zone. Dorinda wanders off, and LuAnn says, a cease fire is good.

Leah’s sister Sarah comes by Leah’s place. In Leah’s interview, she says her sister is basically her times 100. They’re like twins, and share a bit of the same soul. It gets intense, but at this point they’re both adults, moms, and best friends. Leah tells Sarah that she has a salad from Pita Chip Guy. In her interview, Leah explains that Pita Chip Guy is a guy she’s dating who owns a kosher restaurant and pita bakery. She loves Jews; she can’t help it. He’s quirky, funny, and intelligent, and she wants to see where it goes. She tells Sarah that she took a nude picture with pita chips in a strategic place, and Pita Chip Guy sent the picture to her, thinking he was sending it to someone else. Sarah thinks he just made a mistake, and it’s not big deal. In her interview, Leah says she likes weirdos. She likes intellectuals, who are smart and funny, and likes dating ugly guys. She wants to be a beauty, and needs a beast. She asks Sarah how their mom and dad are, and Sarah says she doesn’t want to make Leah upset. Their mom is upset about her. In Leah’s interview, she says she and her mother are on speaking terms again. We flash back to Ramona advising her to talk to her mom in person. She says there was lingering  tension, and now they’re just leaving it alone. She tells Sarah that she thinks their mom wants her to stop telling her everything. Sarah says Leah’s way to connect has always been bad behavior, and Leah says she needs to learn how to stop that dynamic. In her interview, she says she’s caught in an old dynamic with her mother, even though they’re different and the relationship is different now. Sarah suggests Leah engage in conversation that’s about their mother, not her. Its basic.

Ramona has a girls night at her place, including Elyse, Nicole, and a couple of other women we don’t know. In her interview, Ramona says it’s a great way to build relationships. She has different groups over, and plays matchmaker with her women friends. She tells Elyse that she’s feeling finally her new home. Elyse asks if Ramona has condoms in her nightstand, and when Ramona says no, Elyse wants to check for herself. In her interview, Elyse says that Ramona likes to play the innocent Catholic girl, but then talks about how horny she is, and how she’s never been hotter. Ramona says when she was in a relationship, she kept them for her boyfriend. Sometimes he needed extras. She says she’s embarrassing herself, like that’s possible. Elyse says she wants to sleep with Ramona if it’s that good.

Sonja arrives, bringing Ramona a dress to replace the one with the broken zipper. We see a picture of Ramona in it, and it’s very pretty – a lace overlay on a nude foundation. Dorinda comes in next, and in Ramona’s interview, she says it was a sh*t show with her and Dorinda yesterday, but she’d already invited her, so she hopes Dorinda is in a good mood, and being the old Dorinda. In Sonja’s interview, she says when they were in the locker room at the spa, Ramona said she should lose ten pounds because she’s beautiful. She’s beautiful with the ten pounds. Dorinda tells Elyse about the spa, and Elyse says she knows it from when she worked in the area, and businessmen would take strippers there. Ramona doesn’t want Dorinda thinking she doesn’t respect her, and Dorinda says that what Ramona did was wrong. Ramona says Dorinda takes people down all the time. Dorinda whips out her phone, and asks if Ramona knows what schadenfreude means. Elyse says, you don’t wish ill on people, but if something bad happens, you get pleasure out of it. Dorinda says Ramona will bring up something from years ago, when they’re supposed to be friends. She needs support. Ramona says Dorinda lashes out when she’s questioned.

Ramona tries to get Dorinda to talk in private, but Dorinda won’t have it. In Ramona’s interview, she says it’s ironic that Dorinda doesn’t want her to bring things up in front of other people, but when they’re in front of people Dorinda doesn’t know, she’s going off like a crazy woman. Dorinda claims Ramona fat shamed Sonja, who called her up crying. Ramona loves for them to do well, but not better than she is. Ramona says Dorinda is so angry, and Dorinda says Ramona likes people’s misfortune. She likes to make people feel bad, and she’s a coward. Does she think it’s nice to bring up something from two years ago? Ramona asks if Dorinda thinks what she did to Tinsley was nice. She’s sorry Dorinda is unhappy, and sorry Richard died. She’s sorry Dorinda’s anniversary is coming up. Dorinda says she’s sorry so many men have come and gone in Ramona’s life. Elyse tells them to stop, and Dorinda jets with Sonja. Elyse says they’re both nuts. Ramona tells her, Dorinda said if there’s something negative to say, it should be done in private. Why does she do what she doesn’t want done? In the hallway, Sonja says she wants to be herself, and if she wants to be fat, why is Ramona shaming her? I see she latched onto that now. Ramona hunts them down, and says she loves them both. Dorinda starts crying, and says she needed support yesterday, wagging her finger in Ramona’s face. She just left a seven and a half year relationship. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s not an easy time; there’s a slight depression. She doesn’t need to be knocked down; she needs a soft place to land. Ramona isn’t a pillow; she’s a concrete block. Dorinda says Ramona is like a sister to her. Ramona takes Dorinda’s hand, and asks her to come back; she loves them both. As they head back in, Dorinda says she knows her delivery sucks. She’s been trying with a life coach. She doesn’t want to be alone again. Ramona says she’s afraid she’s going to be alone forever, and she, Dorinda, and Sonja have a three-way hug. Elyse says the three of them could drive Mother Teresa to drink. In Ramona’s interview, she says she loves Dorinda, but she won’t admit how mean-spirited she is. When Dorinda is like this, nothing will work. There’s nothing you can do. Just shut your mouth.

Next time, a trip to Newport, Sonja says maybe she’ll get her mojo back, Leah goes on another drunken rampage, and Ramona doesn’t like the behavior.

🍤  On Top Chef, Melissa was bummed because Restaurant Wars threw her off, and she’d been on the bottom in the challenges. She was in an emotional rut. Stephanie was also down, having lost her brother to addiction a year and a half ago. In her interview, she said she’d come out stronger, and that’s why she was there – it was her victory song. Padma introduced the guest judge, pastry chef and three time James Beard Award winner Sherry Yard. Padma told the chefs that the Quickfire challenge was going to be a piece of cake. Sherry said baking was all about time, temperature, taste, and methodology. The chefs would get the basic pantry staples – dairy, flour, sugar, and eggs – but the rest of their ingredients would come from a blindfold taste test. They had five minutes to guess twenty ingredients. Whichever ingredients they guessed right, they could use, although they didn’t have to use them all. The chef who guessed the highest number of ingredients would get an hour, the next two would get forty-five minutes, and the last two, a half hour. All Padma would say about the winner is that they’d get a huge advantage in the elimination challenge that would be worth fighting for. Stephanie guessed the most ingredients – fifteen, with twelve seconds to spare. Next, Gregory and Melissa tied with twelve, and at the bottom was the other white Bryan, guessing only seven correctly. The biggest stumbling block seemed to be almond butter, which most of them guessed to be peanut butter. I thought this was kind of odd, since I find almond butter to have a very distinctive taste. After the chefs presented their desserts, the judges loved Karen’s flavor, but thought it was too aggressive; Bryan’s components fought on the plate; but Melissa’s flavors sang, and she was the winner.

Next, Padma said, let the games begin, and introduced the chefs’ helpers and guest judges  Niki and Carole Nakayama, Michelin star chefs and co-owners of two Michelin star restaurants. In honor of the Tokyo Olympics, the chefs would be making food inspired by Japan – a kaiseki meal of six courses, the most formal way of dining in Japan, and similar to a tasting menu. They were told kaiseki is a celebration of nature, about protecting the integrity of the ingredient, and cooking with restraint, which made full of Malarkey quake in his shoes. Given two hours to cook, each chef would make one dish, and they would be cooking for a group of elite Olympic athletes. The Nakayama sisters treated the chefs to a kaiseki meal so they could get the vibe.

Before the dinner began, Padma said both sporting events and food bring people together. She was excited to be doing something joyous and traditionally Japanese. As usual, everything looked incredibly impressive, and sounded phenomenal, except for the piece of shell in Melissa’s crab dish.

Stephanie was the winner, with a balance of flavor and ingredients. She was quite shocked, and would also be going to the Tokyo Olympics. Unfortunately, we all know how that would eventually turn out. She joked that she was probably the least athletic of the group. Karen’s duck dish caused her to be told to pack her knives and go. In her interview, she said she’d been eliminated twice for a good dish, had done things she never thought she would try, learned tenacity, and cooked her ass off. It was on to Last Chance Kitchen for her, as she told us, never say die.

They never did reveal what the huge advantage was the elimination challenge winner would receive. I can’t imagine it was the trip to the Olympics. Next time, the finale goes to Europe, and a possible bail by Brian full of Malarkey.

🏖 Life’s a Beach Again…

It looks like the world is starting to open back up. As I’ve come to say every week, whatever happened to the Shahs reunion? All continues to be quiet on the Sunset front, and I have yet to see a ransom note. Regardless, see you tomorrow with some tea and words of wisdom. Until then, stay safe, stay exercising caution, and stay puffed.

May 20, 2020 – The Custody Hearing Begins, An Astrological Evening, Goodbye Basement Artie, Farewell To the Best, Child Reunion, Togetherness, King Costume, TNT Train & Raining


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny tells Jason, the disease takes away everything that makes you who are, and you’re left with an empty shell. When he asks what Mike wants, Mike doesn’t say anything. Sonny doesn’t know if Mike doesn’t want to say anything, doesn’t understand, or he doesn’t know. If his dad wants to stay and fight, he has every right to do that. Jason says, of course (🍷), and Sonny says, then again, what is Mike fighting for? He has no quality of life – the doctors made that clear – and he has nothing to look forward to. His heart is still beating, but his brain can’t hold his memories. He’s lost his appetite, and they’ll have to feed him by putting tubes in him. Sonny doesn’t know how much more he should do, and his dad is confused. That’s where they’re at. Jason knows Sonny wants answers, but can only tell him what he’d want if he was in Mike’s place.

Laura opens the door to Lulu, who holds up an envelope. She says, see this? Nikolas and Ava are having a party to celebrate the unveiling of Franco’s portrait. Laura says she got one, hand delivered; fancy stuff. Lulu says she can send regrets for both of them if Laura wants, but Laura says, actually, it’s not what she wants.

At the MetroCourt bar, Nikolas tells Ava that he saw some of Avery’s drawings. She’s quite the artist. Ava says she can’t wait to show Avery’s stuff at the gallery, and he says, speaking of art, he ran into her favorite painter at the gym. She hopes he didn’t use Franco as a punching bag, and he says, why? Is there something or someone they should be fighting about?

Elizabeth tells Franco that Nikolas is trying be the person she used to know; trustworthy and loyal, and someone who values honor and integrity.  If he ends up being that person, she’ll most likely be friends with him again. Franco says Nikolas is also the person who ran her sister out of town, and Violet has no mother now. Does she want to be friends with that guy?

Diane tells Michael and Willow to go ahead; she needs to talk to Carly. She asks if Carly is ready to be cross-examined by Nelle’s attorney. It’s not going to be pretty. Carly says she’s going to present herself as a loving grandmother and mother, who wants the best for Wiley, which happens to be true. The judge needs to know Nelle should never get custody.

Willow looks at a picture of her and Chase. She asks if Michael still has photos of Sasha, but he says he’s deleted them. Willow says she knows Michael is hurting like she is, but what makes it bearable is not being alone; they’re going through it together. Michael says when he needs a reminder of why they married, and why they’re there, he looks at this. He shows her a picture of Wiley.

Nelle practices her testimony. She say she doesn’t claim to be perfect, but has been given the most precious thing anyone can possess. She’s not asking for custody for herself, but for her son Wiley. Martin says, too saccharine, and not enough sincerity. Once more, with feeling.

Lulu asks if Laura is thinking of going to this charade. It’s just Ava’s excuse to patronize the little people, now that she’s queen of Spoon Island. Laura says Nikolas is still her son and Lulu’s brother, and Lulu says, he brought Ava into their family, and brought it on himself. She doesn’t see why he should inflict her on the rest of them. Laura says it’s important to show they still love him and he’s still part of the family, but Lulu says Laura wouldn’t be attending that ostentatious overblown party as Nikolas’s mother. She’s the mayor, and represents the city of Port Charles. Laura doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but Lulu says attending is giving Ava her stamp of approval; knowing Ava coerced Nikolas into marriage, and they’re both miserable, and that Spencer would rather stay in France than be there. Is she sure she’s prepared for that?

Ava tells Nikolas, like most talented artists, Franco is moved by powerful emotion, and she’s promoting his art. He says she’s promoting Franco’s ugly past, but Ava says he doesn’t mind. Nikolas says, Elizabeth does. She asks if he showed Elizabeth the letter from Spencer, and he says he told her that Spencer is willing to restore their relationship if he divorces Ava. Ava says Elizabeth must have loved that. Did he tell her how he responded to Spencer’s proposal? Did he choose his son or his fortune?

Nelle asks if Martin has any other unwanted advice. Is her dress too short? He says, just tell the truth, and let it stand up next to Michael, Carly, and Willow’s version. She says she’ll have Nina as a character witness. Julian comes in, and she says, her husband. He says, hello darling, and Martin asks if he’s been drinking. Julian says he had one shot for court, and Martin gives him a tin of mints. Martin leaves, and Nelle tells Julian that if she wins, Sonny need never find out that Julian knew about the baby switch. Stick to the script. Losing is not an option.

Diane asks Carly if Sonny will be in court, but Carly says, no; he’s with his father. Diane says it’s probably for the best, since his presence in the courtroom might be construed as intimidation.

Michael asks if Willow is ready to go head to head with Nelle’s attorney, and she says she has nothing to hide. He says he can’t say the same. He and his family are going to be dragged through the mud, and some of it is bound to splash on her. She says, for better or worse, and he says, they’re starting off worse. She asks if he means the honeymoon is over, and he says, when this is over, they’ll take Wiley and go somewhere fun. She says she’ll take him up on that.

Jason says he told the doctors before his first surgery, he didn’t want tubes and machines keeping him alive. Sonny says Jason didn’t have kids then. How would he feel for his kids to lose him? Jason says he’d never want his kids to go through what Sonny is going through; seeing him in bed, knowing he can’t recognize them, and can’t even feed himself. Sonny asks if he’d want them to sign a DNR, and Jason says he wishes Mike hadn’t put it on Sonny. Sonny says there’s a lot he and his dad didn’t talk about; a lot they didn’t share. Now it’s too late.

Ava says she’ll take Nikolas’s silence to mean he hasn’t talked to Spencer. Nikolas says, what if Spencer doesn’t want him without his money? Is Spencer really willing to lose the money and prestige that comes with being a Cassadine? She says, Spencer is still young. He’s still figuring out what’s important. But if he didn’t care, he would have been indifferent upon Nikolas’s return. Spencer loves Nikolas, and wants him, money or no money. He says, she’d like that because she gets it all. Guess again.

Elizabeth tells Franco, she knows Nikolas can be selfish, but he’s also incredibly sensitive, kind, and patient. Franco says it sounds like she’s already halfway there in forgiving him, and she says she’s trying to understand why one minute he’s a stranger, and the next, she sees flashes of the friend she used to know. He says, sorry; they don’t have to talk about it, but Elizabeth says they should talk. He admits they can’t pretend their feelings don’t exist, and she says her feelings for Nikolas are complicated. Like his for Ava.

Carly takes the stand, and Diane asks what the nature is of her relationship to Michael. She says she’s Michael’s mother, and Diane asks where she was when Michael got engaged to Nelle. Carly tells her, Ferncliff, a hospital for the criminally insane. Diane asks what was the reason she was there, and Carly says Nelle accused her of pushing her down a flight stairs at her baby shower. She was forced to plead temporary insanity. Diane says, with the help of friends, she managed to escape; isn’t that criminal as well? Carly says it is, but when the truth came out, she was exonerated, and her sentence vacated. Diane asks if Nelle ever visited, and Carly says she did, when she and Michael became engaged. Nelle said Carly was trapped, and she was going marry Michael, and in time, the family would forget Carly, and she’d be left to rot. She wanted Carly to know she’d won. Martin objects, saying her testimony is highly inflammatory, and Diane says, withdrawn.

Martin asks Carly what kind of business she’s in, and she says, hospitality. She owns the MetroCourt. He asks what business her husband is in, illegal or otherwise, and Diane says Sonny isn’t there to testify. Martin says, withdrawn, and asks Carly to explain what happened on April 24th, 1988. She tells him that Tony Jones kidnapped Michael, and received a suspended sentence. He asks what happened to Tony next, and she says she shot him. He asks what punishment she received for shooting her former lover, who was also her stepfather, and she says she went to Shadybrook mental institution. He says, and she’d believe her grandson would be safe in her less than stable care? Diane objects, and he says, withdrawn. Diane says, it’s a matter of public record that Nelle perjured herself in an attempt to secure a conviction against Carly for attempted murder. In simpler terms, Nelle lied to cause Carly grievous harm. She asks if Carly tried to retaliate, but Carly says, no. She would never do that. She loves her son and grandson too much to stoop to Nelle’s level. Michael is called to the stand.

Laura says Lulu always looks out for her, and Lulu says, translation; Laura appreciates her concern, but she’s going anyway. Laura says, someone has to look out for Nikolas, and Lulu says, he has a wife for that. Laura says, she’d love it if Ava would be the person to bring out the good out in Nikolas, but they know that’s not going to happen. Lulu asks if Laura thinks there’s still good to bring out, and Laura says, of course (🍷). Nikolas just needs the chance to show it. Lulu says Laura sees it that way because she’s Nikolas’s mom. What if he’s become a Cassadine through and through, and is as deceitful as the rest? Laura says, not Nikolas. She would never give up on him, just like Lulu wouldn’t give up on Rocco or Charlotte. There’s a knock at the door, and it’s Nikolas bearing flowers.

Franco tells Elizabeth, there’s nothing complicated about his relationship with Ava. She cares about his career. Elizabeth says, second only to Ava’s concern for herself. Ava comes by, and says that sounds like something her husband would say, and she wouldn’t put too much stock in someone who pretended to be dead for two years. She says she has something for Franco, and reaches into her bag. He says she doesn’t have snakes in her bag, does she? but she says, no; a check. It’s the balance due on her portrait, and he deserves every penny. I try to read it, and it looks like $16K.

Martin asks when Michael got to know Wiley. Michael says when he was asked to be Wiley’s godfather. He was honored to be included in Wiley’s life. Martin asks if that’s all he felt, and Michael says he felt a connection to Wiley; nothing supernatural, just the instinct that Wiley needed him. When he learned Wiley was his son, the bond grew stronger. He made a promise – a vow – to never let Wiley down or let anyone hurt him. Martin says, no one doubts his love for Wiley is true. He submits Michael and Willow’s marriage license as evidence, dated yesterday; the ink barely dry. Diane objects, and Martin says, he’ll rephrase. Given the timing, does Michael love his wife? Michael says, Willow is loyal and generous, and inherently decent. She’s courageous and compassionate, and sees the best in people, but she’s nobody’s fool. Yes, he loves her. Martin asks, then why didn’t he marry her earlier? Which begs the question, is he in love with her?

Michael says he loves Willow, but he’s not in love with her. Nelle whispers to Julian that she loves it. Martin says, Michael didn’t marry for love. He married to put on a show for the court; to project an image of a loving, stable couple. Michael says, it’s not that at all. He married for love. Willow’s love of Wiley is equal to his. Martin says he’s not asking if Michael loves his son. He’s asking if there’s mutual love that’s the bedrock of a genuine marriage. Absent of that, it’s a marriage of convenience.

Sonny tells Jason, he wonders if Mike is listening to music, something in his head, or nothing. They watch Mike, and Sonny says, they didn’t get lot of time when Mike left him and his mom. Jason says, Sonny got him back, and Sonny says he’s grateful for that. Jason says, not everyone gets a second chance. Look at Michael, fighting for the son he thought was dead. Now here Sonny is, fighting for his father, so Sonny will have him in his life. Sonny says he’s losing Mike a little more every day.

Nikolas asks Lulu how Charlotte is, and Lulu says, fine. He says, of all the mistakes he made, one of the worst was letting Charlotte believe he was her secret bodyguard. He hears Lulu is fighting again to keep her safe from Valentin. Does she have a court date yet? Lulu says she and Valentin agreed to continue with their 50/50 custody agreement, and Laura says she’s proud of Lulu, putting Charlotte’s needs first. Lulu hopes Nikolas doesn’t intend on giving her advice about raising children, and he says he supposes he can’t, but that’s why he’s there. He’s hoping they can give him some advice. Laura asks if something is wrong, and he says Spencer said he’s willing to welcome Nikolas back into his life if he dumps Ava. Nikolas gives Laura the letter, and she asks if Nikolas answered him. He says, not yet, and Lulu asks what he’s waiting for. His son in his life, and the wife he despises kicked to the curb. It’s a no-brainer. Laura asks, what’s stopping him?

Franco tells Elizabeth, check it out. Maybe they can plant the check, and get a money tree that will pay for Cameron’s college. Ava says the unveiling will be a huge success, and he’ll be swamped with business. Elizabeth says, along with a reminder of the past he worked hard to put behind him. Ava agrees it’s unsavory, but there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Elizabeth suggests Ava try working on bringing out the best in Nikolas, and Ava asks what makes her think it’s there? Elizabeth says she’s seen it.

Michael says he and Willow will work to provide a loving, stable home for Wiley. A marriage of convenience? Far from it. It came at a cost, but Wiley is worth it. Martin has no further questions.

On the stand, Willow tells Diane, adoption was the hardest thing, but she had to protect her baby from his father. Diane says, who was? and Willow says, David Henry Archer. He changed his name to Shiloh when he founded the cult Dawn of Day. Diane says, and before he married Nelle, he was previously convicted of murder, drugging women before he raped them, and kidnapping. The trial transcripts show the depositions of the women this man drugged and raped; this man whose widow wants to assume sole custody of Wiley. How did Willow feel when she learned another child was alive and her son was dead? Willow says, the grief was unbearable, but at the same time, she was so happy for Michael. Diane asks why she didn’t stay away, and she says Michael asked her to stay in Wiley’s life. Wiley had already been through so much, and been through so many changes, Michael knew the best thing he could do for Wiley was to give him a real family. One with the both of them. Martin asks if there was another side, a darker side of her involvement.

Laura says, so if Nikolas divorces Ava, he loses his money, Windymere, and Spoon Island. Nikolas says, Spencer’s legacy, and Lulu says, Ava is no dummy. Spencer is a good kid with expensive taste, and a long list of necessities. Laura says, all Spencer needs is his father. He felt betrayed because Ava backed up Valentin, and he’d do anything to punish her. Nikolas doesn’t need them to tell him what to do. Just be a father, and everything else will take care of itself. Lulu says she needs someone to translate, and Nikolas says their mother will. He leaves, and Lulu asks, what was that about?

Ava hopes Elizabeth can put aside her misgivings, and join Franco. Not for her, but for Nikolas. Elizabeth suggests she and Franco go back home together after work. She goes to finish up, and Ava says she thought by promoting Franco it would be good for him and his family. If he feels like he’s being exploited, or that it will have any negative impact on the boys… He says the boys know who he is, and the mistakes he’s made. He wants to be honest, and a good stepdad. He hopes one day they forgive him for who he was.

Martin says, Willow became a teacher of the third grade, and he asks if she’s still employed by the school. She says, no, and he asks, why not? She says her employment was terminated because of parental complaints. They said she kept inserting herself in her student’s lives, and disregarding their parent’s wishes. He asks if that’s how she intends to care for Wiley; ignore the wishes of the woman who gave birth to him. What if she decides she knows better than the father himself? Who will be there to protect Wiley from her?

Diane says the principal must have refused to give Willow a letter of recommendation, but Willow says, no; she received one. Diane submits into evidence, Willow’s glowing letter of recommendation, and asks who Willow’s current employer is. She says she’s part of a pediatric teaching program at GH, and Diane submits her current performance evaluation. She has Willow read it out loud, and it says she’s compassionate, caring, and respectful of other employees, her students, and their parents as well.

Jason asks if Sonny remembers when Mike was bartending. He could always connect, and find something to talk about; some crazy story. Jason didn’t realize it then, but he can see now that Mike was trying to win back Sonny’s trust, and be someone Sonny could count on. Then he’d gamble, lie, and get in trouble, and after that, Sonny would shut down. The disappointment was like a wall between them. And then Mike would go back to work, and try to find something else to talk about, trying to tear down that wall. Sonny says he should have been more forgiving, and not so hard on Mike. Jason says maybe he’s not saying it right. Mike never gave up. He just accepted the wall, because he knew it was his fault it was there in the first place, but he kept trying to tear it down because he’s Sonny’s dad. Mike loves him, and wants him to be okay. What Mike wants is for Sonny to be okay. If Sonny wants to keep him there or let him go, he’s going to be doing what Mike wants. Jason wipes his eyes (!), and says he’s going to take off. Sonny decides to stay a while longer. He wants to be with his dad. He tells Jason that he appreciates it.

Sonny says, all right, dad, taking the earbuds off Mike. He asks if Mike wants to watch TV. Maybe the Yankees are on, and continuing their home run streak. He knows Mickey Mantle is up there, looking down on the Yankees, cheering. He says, guess what? He still has the baseball card Mickey signed and gave to Mike. He’ll never forget Mike telling him it was going to be worth more than gold. He remembers that.

Laura tells Lulu, she’s just reminding Nikolas not to underestimate Spencer. She thinks if he’s open and completely honest, Spencer won’t disappoint him. Lulu asks if there’s something Laura isn’t not telling her, and Laura says she can’t see into the future; she could be wrong. Lulu says, even if she is – which is highly doubtful – her capacity for forgiveness and understanding are amazing. Lulu is in awe of her. Laura says she’s in awe of Lulu, her sweet, loving, and smart daughter. She hopes Lulu’s brother has learned his lesson and is willing to change.

Nikolas calls Spencer. He says he got Spencer’s letter, and he’s ready to respond.

Ava says she looks forward to seeing Franco at the party, and kisses him on the cheek. She says, Nikolas is hoping to see him as well. She leaves, and he asks if Elizabeth is ready. She says, yeah, but seems distant, and walks past him. He takes the flowers, telling her not to forget them. They get into the elevator, Elizabeth still being weird.

Martin calls his first witness – Nelle. Willow takes Michael’s hand, and squeezes. They look at each other.

Tomorrow, Brook accuses Olivia of having an affair, Valentin says nothing is ever as black and white as it seems, Nina tells Jax that she doesn’t know if she should stand up for Nelle, and Martin asks Nelle why she deserves sole custody.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Garcelle got together with her equally gorgeous group of non-Housewives girlfriends. They talked about Garcelle’s divorce, and Garcelle said she’d been blindsided by her husband’s cheating, but her girls had been there for her.

Kyle said Denise would like them to think nothing ruffles her feathers, but Kyle wasn’t buying it. She was seeing another side of Denise, and wondered where it came from. I guess Kyle is so one-dimensional, she can’t understand that people can have different facets to them.

At Denise’s house, Sami was getting ready for her Homecoming date. Last year, she had gone with friends, but this time around, she had a real date with a boy she’s crushing on, and was getting pink hair for the occasion. In Denise’s interview, she said she was  struggling with parenting. Sami was starting to behave badly, hoping for a reaction. She said she and Charlie hadn’t been the wild couple people thought. He was sober when she married him, and she was six-months pregnant when they divorced. Erika griped about Denise having an issue with her talking about the threesome in front of the kids, when Denise was free with her happy ending story, and no one judged her. Man, this issue is really pissing me off. For one thing, Denise isn’t coming from a place of judgement. She didn’t want her kids hearing an adult story. And apparently, Erika doesn’t understand, it was a different audience when Denise talked about her sex life. It was just the women on a camping trip. Like, is it really that hard to grasp? Erika had a private dance rehearsal for Chicago, because, you don’t want other people to have to work doubly hard to make your ass look good. The cast also sent her a welcome video that was really sweet.

Harry Hamlin was off doing a play with Stephanie Powers. He was loving it, but sorry he couldn’t go to the DNA launch. Dorit and PK had a meeting with the restaurant guy, as Dorit was going to design a room in one. PK said by the time she was done, she would design the whole restaurant, put on another level, and add on a hotel. Dorit said she always gave 120%, which is mathematically impossible, and always irritates me when someone says it. I know, very Sheldon of me. PK was all interested in whether LVP knew about Dorit’s project (the guy said he had no reason to be telling her, and rightly so), and Dorit said she wasn’t trying to compete with or follow in LVP’s footsteps.

Erika invited everyone over to her house for a meeting with her astrologer friend, Shawn. LisaR showed up in the exact same pink jacket dress Erika was wearing, which caused LisaR to scream at the top of her lungs. Tom hung out for a drink with the girls, and was quite charming, telling a story about how he was in a John Wayne movie. He played a guy who was shot, and fell off a roof. In her interview, LisaR thought the evening could either be fun or an epic disaster, and we flashed back on several of the parties that were the latter, including the dinner party from hell. When Shawn arrived, Tom wisely took that as his cue to leave. Shawn talked about each woman’s sign, their moon sign, and ascending sign. He said Denise had an intensely complicated side, hidden to most. Kyle’s eyes bugged out, and got even buggier when Shawn said that if you break Denise’s trust, inside, she’d be figuring out how to even the score, and taking her time with it. In Denise’s interview, she said, she’s never plotted revenge. At least not yet. In Kyle’s interview, she wondered what Denise had in store for her. Because even in Denise’s sign traits, Kyle has to be the center of attention. Unless there was a lot we didn’t see, it seemed like all Shawn did was tell the women what kind of people they were, which seemed like a waste of time. He pointed out that Teddi gravitated to one person, usually an earth sign (Kyle), and Dorit said, if Kyle would just admit the rules that apply to the others don’t to Teddi, it would be all good. In Garcelle’s interview, she said that Kyle wants to be liked by everybody. They went over the Dorit freaking out because Sutton said she might freak out issue. Sutton said she didn’t deserve the way Dorit reacted, and Dorit said they weren’t friends yet, so she didn’t know if Sutton would make a scene. In a voice-of-reason moment, Kyle said that was the dumbest thing ever.

In her interview, Garcelle said, the more she got to know Kyle, she could tell Kyle was great with surface stuff – like, I love your bag – but she didn’t care enough to get to know people. These women were so wrapped up in themselves, she could do naked cartwheels on the table, and they wouldn’t notice. On the way back from Erika’s place, Garcelle, Denise, and Sutton shared a limo. Denise said Kyle always comes back to Kyle. In Garcelle’s interview, she said they were being catty, but that’s what girlfriends do. And Kyle deserved it. I like Garcelle. So far. Denise said Kyle talks at you, not to you. Back at Erika’s house, she said she thought the relationship between Kyle and Teddi was strange because Teddi could do no wrong, and Kyle claimed Erika had no close friends. Erika said she had plenty of close friends, and considered Kyle to be one of them.

Next time, a trip to Santa Monica, Teddi thinks Dorit possibly dislikes her, and LisaR confronts Denise – who can’t catch a break – about allowing Charlie’s hookers into her children’s lives. Unreal. Even Jesus ate with hookers, and I’m sure Denise doesn’t introduce them that way.

🗽 The Real King Takes a Final Bow…

Jerry Stiller left behind some fine work, and watching him in King of Queens never gets old.

And the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

🐕 One Of the Best…

I was surprised to find out Fred Willard was 86 years old, and then I realized how many things I’ve enjoyed him in for so long. It’s like he’s always been there.

🧼 Reunion Of Children…

On Friday, May 22nd, Pine Valley will be taking an online meeting.

😎 Some Good News…

Not everyone is going stir crazy.

🐯 It Saves On the Red Paint Bill…

I don’t agree with PETA on everything, but this was pretty clever.

🚝 A Virtual Train…

Snowpiercer is one of my favorite films, so I definitely want to put this on my must-see list.

Speaking of films, I caught The Joker this weekend on cable. Hey, I know I’m behind, but I’m not going to put a second mortgage on the house to go to the movies – God forbid I want popcorn. I thought it was well worth watching, but I did wonder if Joaquin Phoenix was allowed to direct himself. Just do what you want, Joaquin. I have to make some calls.

🌧 When It Rains…

I have a second sick dog. Thank God for small favors, it’s not as bad; an old eye injury has come back to haunt her. But it’s like, come on already. Entertainers are dropping like flies, along with the general public, but at least it looks like we’ll be able to venture out soon. How weird will that be? Stay safe, stay alive, and stay true to your school.

May 19, 2020 – Waiting For Sonny’s Permission, VanderFinale, Don’t Knock & Buzzard Shower


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly, Michael, and Willow go to the MetroCourt. Michael wonders why Diane stayed behind, and Carly says she’s probably telling Nelle’s attorney to drop the suit, since Nelle married the least desirable man in Port Charles. Willow wonders why Nelle did it, but Carly says it’s not about what Nelle did wrong; it’s about what Michael and Willow are doing right for Wiley.

Sonny asks why Julian is throwing in with them, but Julian says he doesn’t answer to Sonny. He starts to go, but Sonny says Julian isn’t leaving; the conversation’s not over. Jason stands on Julian’s other side.

Nina finds Nelle at the Crimson office, and says she thought the custody hearing was today. Nelle says they’re on a break, and she stopped by to change. Long story. Nina goes into her office, and Nelle follows. Nelle says she also wanted to double-check on Nina testifying on her behalf. Nina says, the thing is… and Nelle says she’s fighting stay in her son’s life, and thought Nina would understand. Nina says she’s been thinking about the situation a lot, and reexamining her own. She’s going to find her child. She believes her daughter is alive. Nelle says she’s thrilled for Nina and her daughter. She knows Nina’s daughter will see Nina for who she is; the gold standard of moms.

On the phone at Charlie’s, Elizabeth tells Franco, sorry to be bailing, but she doesn’t think she’ll be able to see him before work. He says he’s had no chance to apologize properly. She says  he did; he apologized right away. He says, of course (🍷) he did, but he thinks this requires a bigger gesture. She says she’s over it. She had a nice talk with Nikolas, and he gave her perspective as to what art means to her, and the value of her work. Franco says, princely, but Elizabeth says, he’s just being a friend. He asks if Nikolas has found her sister, or is Hayden still in hiding? and she says she’ll see him later. They exchange I love yous. Scotty sees that Franco has a bouquet, and asks if the flowers are for him. He thinks Franco must have done something stupid, or said something stupid. Franco says he couldn’t make it up to Elizabeth, and Nikolas beat him to it. Scotty says, it figures.

Nikolas shows Mike pictures of Spencer, but gets no response. He asks if Mike remembers his grandson.

Franco asks what Scotty means by, it figures. Scotty says he thinks Nikolas would do better in cheering Elizabeth up. They have a history that goes way back to when they were kids. Franco asks if Scotty has a point, and Scotty says, it’s all about the time they’ve spent together. If Elizabeth gets confused about anything, and needs reassurance, she might turn to Nikolas if Franco botched it up. Franco says, it’s ancient history, and has no bearing on the present day, but Scotty says he wouldn’t trust Nikolas, especially when it comes to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth watches as Nikolas tells Mike, Spencer is in Europe. He’s quite a character; unforgettable, like Mike. Spencer has found a finely tuned sense of right and wrong, and to be honest, he was more flexible when he was younger. Nikolas might have questionable ethics, but Spencer is a good boy. He hopes Spencer comes back someday. He tells Mike, hang in there. In the hallway, Elizabeth says she overheard him with Mike, and he says he was hoping Spencer might spark something. It looks like the illness has taken its toll, but it was worth a try. She’s guessing Nikolas hasn’t heard from Spencer since his letter, and he says he couldn’t bring himself to tell her, since he knows she’s disappointed in him. She says it doesn’t matter how she feels, and he says, it matters more than she knows. He says he’s been working on the other piece of advice she gave him; that he look at the part of himself that was worthy of her friendship. She says she can tell, or he wouldn’t be there with Mike. He says he didn’t know she was going to be there, but she says she sees him trying to be a better person and reconnect, and she appreciates it.

Diane tells Carly, sorry for the delay, and Carly asks if there’s any chance Diane negotiated an out of court settlement. Diane says she let Alexis know that her sleazebag of an ex married Nelle. Nelle heard about Michael and Willow getting married, and wanted to level the playing field. Carly says, and she chose Julian? and Michael asks if it won’t hurt her case. Martin walks in, and tells them not to count their chickens before they hatch. Nelle and Julian are making a nest for Wiley, just like Michael and his newly wedded wife.

Sonny asks what Nelle has on Julian, and Julian says, not a damn thing. Sonny says, he loves her? and Julian says when he was Wiley’s grandfather, it brought Lucas back into his life. Sonny says he buys that Julian loves Wiley, but that doesn’t explain why he married Nelle. Julian says, Nelle loves Wiley in her own way. She came into his bar, ready to cause trouble, and they started to talk. One thing led to another, and they clicked. They decided to form a team to make a good home for Wiley. Sonny says, if it’s that simple, get rid of his wife. Annul the marriage now.

Nina asks when Nelle is due back in court, and Nelle says they’re on lunchbreak. She needed to change out of her wedding dress. Nina says, her what? and Nelle says, Michael married Willow to get a leg up in the custody case. She had to fight fire with fire. Nina asks who she married, and Nelle says Nina knows Julian, right? Nina says she does. He originally hired her to take over the magazine. She had no idea he and Nelle were in a relationship. Nelle says Nina knew Brad, and he used to be her friend. She thought they were friends anyway. Julian was Brad’s father-in-law when Brad stole her baby, and Julian thought Wiley was his grandson. Nina asks if they were dating, but Nelle says, that’s not what it was like. She was already a wreck when she found out Michael married Willow, so she went to Charlie’s to grab a glass of wine. She and Julian got to talking, and realized it would be absolutely terrible if Wiley wasn’t in their lives anymore. So they decided to get married. Nina says, so it’s a ploy to get custody of Wiley.

Diane tells Martin, she’s curious, and he says he’ll be happy to enlighten her if he can. She says Julian’s rap sheet is longer and more colorful than his client’s; why choose him? He says, love operates in mysterious ways. He’s sure Michael and his bride of less than 24 hours can attest to that. Willow says she and Michael were friends long before this, and have been taking care of Wiley his entire life. Diane says she has a photo gallery to back that up, and Michael says Willow went to jail to protect Wiley from Shiloh, the other psycho Nelle married. Carly says, Willow has proven she’ll do just about anything for Wiley, and Martin says, including marrying Michael himself. Like Michael isn’t the best catch in town.

Julian tells Sonny, he’s not annulling his marriage because Sonny said so. It might be difficult to grasp, but Sonny doesn’t get a say in his life. Sonny isn’t in his life period. Sonny says, if the game Julian is playing is to sway the judge to grant partial custody to Nelle, he’s going to hold Julian responsible. Julian asks if Sonny speaks for Jason too. He might not be Wiley’s grandfather, but he’s still Danny’s grandfather. Jason says, and? Julian says he’s just checking to see if it mattered. Sonny says Julian needs to do what needs to be done before it’s too late, and he and Jason leave.

Elizabeth tells Nikolas, Mike is like this a lot. Nikolas says he feels bad; he should have visited sooner. All the things he should have done; he has so many steps to go in the right direction. She says, for what it’s worth, she feels better about the art thing with Franco. He asks if they made up, and she says, kind of. Franco is super sorry. Not bad for someone who was once incapable of it. Franco reminds her of Ava. Nikolas says, touché. He asks if it doesn’t bother her that Ava is exploiting Franco’s past, and she says Ava and Franco have a history; why not exploit the past? If it goes well, they can start a new venture. Nikolas agrees, and she asks, what’s going on? His tone makes it sound like something is up. He says, he just senses Ava and Franco have been getting closer in their sessions.

Franco asks Scotty if he shouldn’t trust his wife, but Scotty says, no. Don’t trust Nikolas, especially where Elizabeth is concerned. Franco asks, why? Does he think Nikolas is going to try and win Elizabeth back? Scotty says he knows Elizabeth loves Franco. She worships him, and cherishes him. Franco says he senses a reversal is coming soon, and Scotty says, when Franco belittles and dismisses her about her art… Franco says, there it is, and Scotty says, what he’s telling Franco is to keep an eye on Nikolas. He motions Franco closer, and says, when it comes to Ava, Nikolas is in over his head. Ava will make him nuts, and when she does, he’ll go right to Elizabeth; his tried and true old relationship. Why? Who knows? Franco says, why wouldn’t he, right? Franco doesn’t care. It’s not going to lead to anything; they’re fine. And even if they’re not, she’s not going to fall for Nikolas’s smarmy Prince Charming act. Scotty says, it wouldn’t be the first time, and Franco says, even if she did, she wouldn’t do that to him. Scotty says Franco is right. He’s just saying that because it happened to him. When it came to Laura, who knew letting her work at a disco at night with her friend Luke would go wrong? Franco asks if Scotty is saying he shouldn’t trust his wife, and Scotty says, verify things.

Nikolas says he’s hanging onto hope that Spencer will forgive him, and Elizabeth suggests he do what Spencer asks – leave Ava. It’s 90% of his money, but… He says, the remaining 10% is earmarked for Spencer, and she says, there you go. He’ll have Spencer back in his life, sacrificing his money for his son. Sonny and Jason show up, and Nikolas says he finally got around to visiting Spencer’s grandfather. Jason goes in to see Mike, and Sonny tells Nikolas that he’s heard from Spencer. Nikolas asks how Spencer is doing, and Sonny says, he’s wondering why he hasn’t heard from Nikolas. He gave Nikolas an ultimatum; just cut Ava off. Why didn’t he? Nikolas says, it’s not as simple as it sounds. Sonny says Nikolas dug his own grave when he married Ava.

Martin says, if Nelle’s union is suspect, Michael’s is equally so. Perhaps more. Willow will do anything to stay close to Wiley. Willow says, what about Julian? He’s putting Wiley at risk, marrying a known sociopath who went to prison because she let her fiancé drown, and tried to kill her baby’s father. Martin says she’s throwing a lot of slander around, and she says take her to court. She’d love him getting an independent expert to prove her wrong. She bets he can’t find one. She wonders how he can even consider representing Nelle. He says, what a marvelous maternal temperature she has. Michael gets in between them, and says, it’s time to regroup. Willow leaves with Michael, and Carly tells Martin, Julian wouldn’t marry Nelle unless she had something on him. Everyone saw the look on his face; he’s miserable. Martin asks if it’s just him, or is the hypocrisy level staggering? Diane says, he took a big fat retainer to help Nelle use an innocent child. Martin asks how different Nelle is, hooking up with a humble pub owner in order to be closer to her son?

Nelle tells Nina, what she’s doing is no different than what Michael is doing, but Nina says he and Willow have a friendship and a deep bond, and Willow has a strong bond with Wiley. Nelle says, Willow isn’t his mother, and she has no right to him. Nina is out there looking for her daughter; she understands the connection of a mother to a child. Nina says, there’s no relationship where Julian is concerned. Nelle says, Wiley is a baby, and loves him, but Nina asks, what about the tension? Nelle says, there won’t be any. All that matters is Wiley will be with her and not Michael. Marriages like this happen all the time. Nina says she had a quickie marriage with one guy to spite another. Her husband was in cahoots with her mother, and they gaslighted Nina, and put her in an institution to steal her money. She doesn’t want any of that happen to Nelle. Nelle says, Julian would never do that, and Nina asks how she knows. Nelle says, if he did, it would seriously backfire, and Nina asks, what does that mean?

Sonny asks Jason how Mike seems, and Jason says, he’s sleeping. Elizabeth says, Mike’s caregivers said he might sleep fifteen or sixteen hours a day. Sonny goes into Mike’s room, and Jason asks Elizabeth, what’s really going on with Mike? Sonny tells Mike, it’s him. How about those Yankees? After he left, they won. Maybe Mike could bring some of that luck to Michael for his custody hearing today. Does Mike remember? A long time ago, they thought Michael’s son was dead, and when Mike met Wiley, Mike insisted he was Michael’s son. They thought he was confused, but it turns out he was right. Wiley is Michael’s son. Mike’s got to stick around. Does he want to do that? Sonny gets closer to Mike, but Mike only sort of looks at him.

Sonny tells Mike that Michael is fighting hard to bring Mike’s great-grandson home so he can share his life with him. The way Sonny couldn’t share his life with Mike. Sonny tears up, and says, when he brought Mike home from Brooklyn to Port Charles, he thought they would have a lot more time to spend to make up for the lost years. Come on. Doesn’t Mike want that?

Elizabeth tells Jason, she’s had experience with people like Mike; sleeping a lot, refusing to eat. Mike is done fighting, and wants to let go. She thinks he’s just holding on for Sonny’s sake.

Nina tells Nelle, she knows Julian presents himself as a changed man, but he was involved in organized crime. He’s a dangerous man. He’s only in it for himself. Nelle says Julian values his life too much not to play by her rules. Nina asks how Nelle got him to agree, and Nelle tells Nina, she’ll just say that Julian knows the marriage is best for everyone, especially Wiley.

Carly tells Martin, the difference between the couples is, Michael and Willow want a safe and happy environment for Wiley. Nelle just wants to use him, and kids sense these things. Diane says, Carly is right. Michael and Willow will give Wiley a stable, loving home. Everyone knows that, and so does he. Save the theatrics for the court before he runs out of hot air. He says their time is running tragically short; can he get an order to go? Carly says, why order when he can just go? and he asks if he can quote her in an online review. She says he wouldn’t be the first. Diane says, if he thinks Julian is a surprise witness for her, there are questions she’s been waiting to ask Julian under oath for years. For instance, does he love this wife as much as his previous one? Is Martin aware that Julian held a knife to his wife’s throat, and threatened to kill her because he loved her. If he does that to a wife he loves, imagine what he’ll do to one he’d rather not have.

Nikolas hits the bag at the boxing gym. Franco comes in, and Nikolas says, funny, running into him there. Franco asks if Nikolas doesn’t think it’s important for him to be strong, and Nikolas says, it’s not that. He just saw Elizabeth at Turning Woods. Franco asks how soon Elizabeth is going to forgive Nikolas, and Nikolas says, they’re getting there. That’s not a problem, is it?

Elizabeth tells Jason, everything Sonny wants to do to keep Mike alive, like the feeding tube, will only prolong the inevitable. In her experience, it will also make Mike miserable. She’s sorry to tell him that, and Jason says that’s why he asked her. He knew he’d get a straight answer. She says, if Sonny wants to spare Mike any more pain, and ease his passing, he needs to give his father permission to go.

Sonny tells Mike, he doesn’t know what Mike wants him to do; what Mike wants him to say to the doctors. He tells Mike, keep sleeping, and he’ll come by tomorrow, and ask him again. He kisses Mike’s forehead. Mike moves his hand, but Sonny is already going out the door. Sonny tells Elizabeth, Mike seems more tired than usual, and fell asleep. Elizabeth says she has to get to work. She’ll come back later to check on him. Sonny thanks her for being nice and being there for Mike, and she says, of course (🍷). She leaves, and Sonny asks Jason what he missed.

Franco asks Nikolas why he would have a problem with Elizabeth forgiving him. She’s a very forgiving person, and he has no problem. Nikolas says, as long as he’s sure, and Franco asks why he wouldn’t be. Nikolas says, some men don’t like their wives having male friends, and Franco says his wife can be friends with whoever she chooses. He trusts her completely because they have a solid marriage. Nikolas says, of course (🍷) they do, and Franco asks what that means. Nikolas says, it means Franco and Elizabeth have a solid marriage. Franco says, it’s nothing like Nikolas and… never mind. Nikolas says, what? and Franco says, like Nikolas and Ava. Nikolas laughs, and Franco says, the only not funny thing about them is the post-nup. Nikolas asks how Franco knows about that, and Franco says Ava is a dear friend, like Nikolas is with Elizabeth. Ava’s been through a lot. Nikolas says Ava has told him some things, but she still has difficulty opening up to him. That’s why he’s grateful she has Franco to lean on. He actually enjoys listening to Ava, but she doesn’t enjoy talking with him, and Franco can get her to open up.

Nina says, Nelle is blackmailing Julian, and Nelle says, they made a deal; that’s all. She had to resort to desperate measures to ensure being a mother to her son. Nina understands, doesn’t she? What they have to do as mothers to keep their children safe? Nina’s daughter is hers, and Wiley is Nelle’s, and no one should be able to take them away.

Diane wonders who the judge will go for. Michael and the woman who went to jail for protecting her child, or an alleged mobster, and a woman who tried to murder two fiancés because they didn’t leave enough money on her dresser. Marin says, those comments are beneath her, and Diane says, sometimes, yes, but she’s talking about a gold-digger who married an alleged mobster. Martin says, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Carly reminded him just this morning about who her husband is.

Sonny puts earbuds on Mike, and tells him to listen to the music. He tells Jason, maybe Mike’s memory will come back. Jason says he’s sorry, and Sonny says Jason doesn’t seem surprised. What did Elizabeth say to him?

Nikolas says he can’t tell Franco how much he’s looking forward to the unveiling, and Franco asks if he’s not going to try burning it down like Ava did Helena’s portrait. Nikolas says he’s sure his princess bride and Franco created something beautiful. Franco says Nikolas sounds confident for someone who hasn’t seen the portrait, and wasn’t a fan of his previous work. Nikolas says, it’s a new Franco, a new Ava, and a new day. He’s sure it will be a painting for the ages, and a party to match. He playfully punches Franco.

Carly says it’s Martin’s funeral, and he says, is that so? How does she mean that? She says figuratively, of course (🍷). How else would she mean it? He says, literally, and Diane says, it’s your funeral is literally a figure of speech. Attend to his newlyweds, and she’ll attend to hers. They’re due back in court. He says, and none of them got lunch; a pity. He hopes it  doesn’t make anyone cranky. He’ll see them in court. He leaves, and Carly tells Diane, she knows what Diane is going to say. Diane says, repeat after her. I must not issue death threats to opposing counsel. Trust her on this, and let her do the talking.

Michael pops back in, and Carly asks if he’s ready. He says, absolutely. He and Willow leave, and Carly sighs, turns around, and follows him out.

Nelle tells Nina, she has to go. They’re about to reconvene, and she’s so excited. Are they good? Nina is really her only friend, and she’d wanted to count on Nina this afternoon. Nina says she can do this for Wiley, and Nelle hugs her. Methinks Nina is going to do something for Wiley other than what Nelle thinks.

Franco goes to the hospital with the flowers, and tells Elizabeth, what he said was stupid. He’s sorry; forgive him. She says, there’s nothing to forgive. She told him, Nikolas helped her get over her insecurities about her art. He says he ran into Nikolas at the gym, and he seemed confident that he would be Elizabeth’s friend again. She says, he’s so lonely for friendship, and Franco asks how she’d categorize her relationship with Nikolas. She leaves to get water for the flowers.

Sonny tells Jason, music is good for cognitive function. The last time Mike was himself was when Brook gave him a concert at Turning Woods. He thinks it jolted Mike’s memories. Jason says, it was a while ago, and Sonny asks again what Elizabeth said to Jason. She’s a fantastic nurse, and Sonny respects her opinion. What did she say? Jason tells him, she said, when Alzheimer’s patients get to the place where Mike is – sleeping more than awake, not responding, and unable to eat – she said that usually means that they’re ready to go. She thinks Mike is just waiting for Sonny to give him permission.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth tells Franco that her feelings for Nikolas are complicated, like his for Ava; Ava asks Nikolas to choose his son or his fortune; and Julian tells Nelle, it’s not an option.

Vanderpump Rules

Dayna asks Brett how yesterday was, and he says, awesome. He felt weird leaving the dinner, and admits he’s interested in her, but that’s different than having feelings. In Dayna’s interview, she says she feels sh*tty about how Brett was screaming that he didn’t have feelings for her, but she knew he felt under attack and it didn’t come out right. She tells him what Scheana said seemed calculated the other night when she was throwing grenades. We flash back to Scheana saying Dayna and Brett shouldn’t have made out multiple times, and Dayna telling her, STFU. Dayna says she didn’t appreciate it, and it’s been back and forth all summer. In Dayna’s interview, she thinks Max loves the fact that his ex, a girl his best friend is interested in, and his best friend are feuding. Scheana asks why Brett is telling people she was trying to hook up with him when they did her video. He says she offered him a BJ, and she says she was joking. In her interview, she says no part of her wants to date him. She just used him as a piece of meat in her video. Dayna says the way Scheana was speaking at dinner made her uncomfortable, and she didn’t like Scheana’s conversation. Max made his bed. Scheana says, he’s hurt. In Dayna’s interview, she says, only a sex addict would say he has feelings for a girl, then screw five other girls, and try to get sympathy by doing her dirty. He’s trying to fill the hole in his heart by filling holes in other women.

Schwartz and Max go to Villa Rosa. In Schwartz’s interview, he says it’s Max’s first time there. Savor this, Max. He tells Max, don’t touch anything; she’ll know. They’re peasants. Schwartz tells Lisa that he’s missed her. Lisa says, the Hollywood Reporter is doing a profile piece on all of their businesses, and in her interview, she says they’ve done photo shoots for SUR, but this time, they’ll be using a couple of people from each restaurant. She tells Schwartz that everyone wants a big group shot, and they’ll have a drink afterward. She asks about James DJ’ing, and Schwartz says he has nothing but good things to say about James, who also had a moment at the pool party.

Ariana and Tom go to a spa, where Ariana is getting a beauty sculpt, and Tom is getting a facial. Ariana thanks Tom for cleaning the kitchen, and says they had a day and a half to pull off a party. She texted Brittany that she loves her, but not everybody has the same level of patience anymore. Tom says, Jax is an adult, and needs to act like one. In Tom’s interview, he says, it’s not a muscle flex. Jax expects a full investment, but only gives a fraction back. Ariana thinks everyone had fun.

Schwartz tells Lisa, he ended up going to Tom’s when Katie became the scapegoat for them throwing the party. Max says he didn’t go to either party, but he did go to Dayna’s comedy show. He had feelings for her, but she made out with his friend to spite him, and he’s frustrated. Lisa says he doesn’t like the fact that his friend took his chance of being with Dayna away, and Max says, maybe. Lisa tells them to promise there won’t be any sh*t aired in front of anyone. Schwartz wants to pinky swear instead of shaking hands, since it’s been a childish week.

Ariana tells Tom about Scheana texting Kristen about Stassi making fun of her house. Tom says, she was probably just making a joke, but Ariana says she doesn’t think it’s funny. STFU about how she’s living. Any time anyone has been over, they’ve been fed and had wine, and Stassi is acting like it’s cute to be mean. Ariana gets suction cupped on her thighs, and Tom gets some on his face. In Tom’s interview, he says there’s always new and innovative beauty technology to keep yourself looking young, and he likes to take advantage of that. He might as well stay looking as young as possible for as long as possible.

Stassi visits Lala, who’s making macaroons. She tells Stassi that she’s trying to be a housewife. In her interview, Lala says she loves her space, and has had no need to reside with a man. We see a clip where she tells Randall that keeping his toothbrush on the sink is not happening. She continues, saying, he is her fiancé. She should probably be living with her future husband. Brittany and Katie arrive, and in Katie’s interview, she says she and Brittany have never not spoken or had tension; it feels weird. They sit outside with some food, and Katie says, yesterday wasn’t normal. Kristen was sitting with Carter, and kept giving her dirty looks, and then texting her crazy sh*t like, go thrive and talk sh*t. In Stassi’s interview, she says Kristen does this when she’s bored. She makes sh*t up to get attention. Who uses the word thrive? Brittany says she’d told Kristen that she couldn’t bring Carter to their party, and Lala asks if they’re all good. Katie says they’re okay, but Brittany says, it’s so petty and got blown up. Katie says she was getting blamed for it. If Brittany wants to go there, when Katie rage texts, it’s not unfounded. She tells Brittany that she likes them, and Brittany suggests she try to get understanding. Katie says she’s done that. In Katie’s interview, she says, because she’s rage texted in the past, she should have no feelings now. We flash back to several times when Schwartz was on the receiving end of Katie’s texts. In her interview, she says she’s paid for what she’s done, and Jax needs to do his time. Brittany says, Jax messed up, but Tom is being petty. Katie tells her that Tom just said they have a pool, and if Jax was going to disinvite people, they could come to his house. There’s only one person to blame. Brittany says, Jax is struggling. He messed up on top of it, and he’s trying to fix it. He’s her husband, so they need to have respect for that.

James’s mom Jacqueline pays him a visit. In James’s interview, he says his relationship with his mom has been rocky for the past few years. We flash back to that, and he says she’s struggled with sobriety, but she’s been sober for six months, and still going strong. She tells him, it’s bad luck to cheers with water, and he wonders if he’ll never cheers again. She says he looks great, and he says, it’s been 45 days today. She says she should get the all clear on Friday. If she hadn’t gotten sober, she wouldn’t have gotten a job and had health insurance, which led to her getting a mammogram that detected cancer. Everything happened so fast, but it’s done. She had a double-mastectomy, and she’s really lucky that she’s not even sick. James cries, and says, it’s hard to talk about this. Jacqueline says she could tell he was holding it in at the hospital. In his interview, he says, finding out was the worst thing. His mother has had health issues before, and would deal with it by drinking. It’s the beginning of an amazing new era in their relationship. Jacqueline tells him that he doesn’t ever have to drink again, and he can have an amazing life. He says he couldn’t picture himself in that position, but Raquel saved him. In his interview, James says he owes everything to Raquel. He thought it was ridiculous when she asked him to stop drinking. He would never have found the person he is. It’s like he met someone new. He tells Jacqueline about Lisa asking him to DJ at SUR, and says maybe he’ll get his Tuesday nights back someday. She says he’s not letting up until that happens, and he says, why not?

In Beau’s interview, he says he wants a home by the time he and Stassi get married. Stassi will have to come up with the down payment, since he’s still living in the same rent controlled apartment he’s been in for years. He has a great job, but he can’t put 25% down on a house. He and Stassi look at a house, and Beau says, it has soul. Stassi loves the grounds, and the broker says it’s in a good school district, which they’ll pay a premium for. It’s going for $2 million. In his interview, Beau says he has some in savings, but not that much yet. Stassi wants a home with character, but Beau doesn’t think they should buy the first thing they looked at. She tells him that they have the party at TomTom later, and that Lisa is doing a photoshoot with a couple of different people from each restaurant. Beau says, that’s going to be at least forty people. Stassi says she used to do them for SUR. She’s glad she did it back then, since she was so hot. She was almost naked, but Jax was stuffing his pants with socks, and during the time Kristen had sex with Jax, he had to pose with Tom. She tells Beau that Jax and Brittany said they didn’t want to go to the TomTom event, but Beau says he bets they’ll show up.

Puffy! Lisa and Ken look at the new space along with Nick Alain and Schwartz. Nick shows them a mockup of the space, and it’s gorgeous. Schwartz says he’s amped about Nick’s vision. Tom runs in, apologizing for being late, and Lisa says, nice of him to show up. She says they have to make a decision; it’s crunch time. Are they going to keep it separate, or knock a hole in the wall? She’d be happy if they’re in, since she loves them, even if they’re a pain in her ass. We flash back to that, and she says, if they’re not in, she’s okay with that too. In his interview, Tom says, it’s tempting to use the money toward something else; it’s tough. He tells Lisa that he wishes she’d brought the checks… so they could rip them up, since it’s a definite yes. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, of course he’s all in. In Tom’s  interview, he says, of course he thought about what he could do with the money, but he’s definitely investing. Schwartz says he’s never felt better about shoving all the chips in the middle of the table. Lisa says, knock down that wall.

At TomTom, photographer Chris tells Lisa to be ready in thirty minutes. Puffy! Everyone trickles in. Brittany says she’s glad they’re all there. Karrah from Vegas has joined them, and Max says, it’s unbelievable. He’s rattled right now. We flash back to Lisa discovering he hooked up with Karrah in Vegas. He says, Lisa told him that she’d invited Karrah, but she loves playing jokes and making people stress out for fun. She was not lying. In Scheana’s interview, she says Karrah looks so much like her, down to her nose scrunch. She’s Scheana circa 2012. (It is really weird.) Lala wears her Vanderpump Dogs tank, and says she always has to give them Lala. Lisa says she’d better. Max tells Schwartz that they had a great first year, and they’re still doing great. Schwartz says he almost cried when they met with Lisa earlier.

The photographer starts to pose people. Lala says it’s the one-year anniversary, and asks Jax if he’s coming. Jax says he might stop by for an hour. He’s good with Schwartz, but they have nothing to talk about. So good – you stay there and I’ll stay here. Brittany says, there’s no point in fighting about anything anymore. Lala says she and James finished their song, and she really wants them to hear it. At least think about it. Ariana asks if she can talk to Jax, and Brittany leaves to get a drink. Jax asks how the party was, and Ariana says it was fun and chaotic. He says he wasn’t as upset as Brittany was; she took it to heart. Ariana says she hates that Brittany was put in that position, and Jax says Tom did the same thing to Stassi with the texts, but Ariana says, Tom atoned for that. Jax says, Tom likes to put his nose in other people’s business. He doesn’t know why Tom shared the texts, and Ariana suggests he take the high road. Jax says he’s a human being. He f***ed up, and he will again. In Ariana’s interview, she says, these aren’t mistakes. They point to a choice pattern; a personality. It’s who this person is. Ariana says she’s not going to argue; Tom is her boyfriend. She tells Jax not to go around saying she’s miserable, and he says if people ask him questions, he’s going to answer. She says he’s been saying things about her all summer. He says he has no clue what she’s talking about, and she tells him stop talking about her, her house, and what he thinks goes on there. Just don’t talk. She tells him, goodbye, and walks away.

The girls fix their outfits, and in Dayna’s interview, she says when she started at SUR, they made fun of her not wearing a bra. Now, they’re joking about their sweaty asses together. It’s pretty full circle. Max tells Brett that he’s sorry he disappeared, and wants to explain where he’s coming from. He feels betrayed, and maybe he’s been too lax telling Brett about how he felt about Dayna. Brett says he didn’t know Max would react that way, since he’s four girls past Dayna. Max says, it’s an open wound. He’s vulnerable, and it felt weird. He thought Dayna was being conniving and spiteful, and dating Brett to get to him. Brett says Max needs to have a conversation with her. The only people who aren’t straight are him and Dayna.

Brittany says she sees Dayna wore a bra. The photographer prepares to take a group shot, and Tom says, it’s like a selfie, so everyone cram in tight. Lisa says they’re all so beautiful. She doesn’t know how she got so lucky. She tells Jax he should be wearing his uniform, and he insists he doesn’t have one. In his interview, he says he’ll wear what he wants when he wants. He doesn’t like to be put on the same level as the others. Brittany tells him that he should have at least worn a black shirt. In Tom’s interview, he says, they’ve always worn a black button-down. Lisa tosses him a shirt, and it lands on Danica’s head. In his interview, Tom says, it’s classic Jax, doing what he wants. Jax puts the shirt on, but looks pissed in the picture. Ariana says, that’s a wrap. The other Max (Lisa’s son) says Jax got all riled up, and Jax admits he’s mad. Brittany tells him, don’t start, and he says, don’t antagonize him. In her interview, she says, when Jax is in a sassy mood, he’s short and snippy with her.

Lisa asks Jax, what’s wrong? and he says, same old. She says, it’s not the same old, and he says he had a bad day; a bad couple of weeks. He gets angry. She asks, what about? and he says he goes off on people sometimes, and gets out of control. It’s been the biggest year of his life. She asks why he’s not happy, and he says he asks himself that question every day. On paper, he has a wife and a house, and he’s healthy. She wonders what’s going on in his brain, and he says, when you injure your leg, you put an ACE bandage on it. She says he hasn’t injured his brain. Take care of his wife. He says his marriage is great, but she says, it’s not great. He’s got a habit of being self-destructive, and needs attention. Four weeks ago, it was all about Jax. Now that he’s married, that’s different. He insists it has nothing to do with his marriage, and she says, it will. He says, that’s why he’s trying to fix it.

Getting ready for the TomTom party, Schwartz says he can’t believe it’s been a year. It’s surreal that he’s contributed to that with Tom. James sets up the DJ booth with Max helping. Randall arrives, and says he missed them. Ariana tells Katie that Kristen is going to be there, and she thinks Kristen is bringing Carter, since they’re dating exclusively. Katie says, Kristen finally made a decision. Max tells Karrah that he was thrown off by her showing up. He didn’t know she would be there. Katie tells Stassi that Kristen made it exclusive with Carter. In Stassi’s interview, she says they were called bad friends because they weren’t there through Kristen’s break-up, but the break-up was bullsh*t; they were never separated. Kate says Kristen chose an a-hole, but she’s glad Kristen made a decision. Kristen walks past them without saying anything, and in Kristen’s interview, she says she knows what to expect from Katie and Stassi, but she’s not afraid of them anymore. In Lala’s interview, she says she’s nervous. James wasn’t just bad to Randall – we flash back to that – he was horrible.

Ariana sits with Stassi, and they talk about taping up their boobs. Ariana says she feels weird bringing this up, but Scheana was texting Kristen during the pool party, and said Stassi was making fun of her house. Stassi gets Scheana’s attention, and tells her, get her ass over there now. Stassi says Scheana claimed she was talking sh*t about Ariana and Tom’s house. Scheana tells her that at dinner the other night, Stassi said she was a grown-ass woman, and not going to someone’s house who has no furniture. We flash back, and it’s actually Lala who said that. Stassi says she doesn’t even talk like that, and there were a lot of people there. Ariana says she sees a scenario where they’re making fun of her house, and Stassi says she’s annoyed, because she knows for a fact she didn’t say that. In Ariana’s interview, she says she’s choosing to believe Stassi, since she’s not the type of person who denies what she said. When all is said and done, they’ll have the most beautiful furniture. If anyone makes fun of it, they don’t get to sit on it.

Karrah, who’s been watching the conversation, sits near Stassi, who says, not now. Karrah asks if everything is okay, and Stassi says, it’s not actually. In Danica’s interview, she says, Karrah is obviously drunk, and trying to insert herself in a conversation she’s not a part of. Karrah says Stassi is being negative, and Danica approaches Karrah, saying she’s been watching Karrah trying to insert herself where she doesn’t belong. In her interview, Danica says Karrah is talking crazy sh*t, and she’s trying to tell her to get out of the conversation. She asks Karrah, what’s wrong with her? Kristen tells Karrah, move along, and Karrah says she can be anywhere she wants. In Kristen’s interview, she says she’s been down this road before. You do not fight in Lisa’s restaurants or in front of Lisa. Danica tells Karrah that she said to get out of the conversation. She doesn’t know them, and she’s acting like a psychopath. Karrah says Danica has nothing to stand on, and Lisa tells Danica to calm down. In Lisa’s interview, she wonders why Danica is acting like she’s five. She’s an assistant manager. Lala says when Danica pushed Karrah, Karrah’s wine spilled on her. In her interview, Lisa says, when someone is lying – she gestures as if dusting off her hands – sorry. She tells Danica, it’s time to go home. In Max’s interview, he says, Danica is finally 86’d from TomTom. It’s about effing time.

James raps to his own tune. In his interview, he says he’s back. More respectful and less loud, but he’s back. Lala joins in on their son, and James says he’s excited for people to hear it. People who don’t want to forget what he was like can s*ck his d*ck. Scheana dances on the bar. James says it’s good to see Randall, and he’s so sorry about all the bullsh*t that he ever said. In his interview, James says he was 100% wrong to judge Randall the way he did. Randall loves Lala more than anything, and they’re perfect together. He was the last to see he was being a smartass, and if Randall wanted to pull him aside and say he was an a-hole and immature, it would have been right. But he said amazing things about James, and it shows what a real man is. He says Randall will never hear anything like that from him again, and Randall hopes James is being honest. He didn’t think that’s who James was. James says he was being an alcoholic, and Randall says Lala has a lot of love for James, and he’s a big part of her life. He wants to invite James  to the wedding; it would be awesome, and a lot of fun. James says he would love that, and they bro hug. Raquel asks James how it’s going, and she says, good. She’s so attracted to him, it’s insane. He kisses her.

Dayna tells Stassi that Brett slept with five people in the five weeks since they stopped seeing one another. Stassi says, Max is being a psycho; she did nothing wrong. Tom says he’s so happy, and glad Ariana, Schwartz, and Katie are there to share it. They have a four-way glasses clink, and Katie says the two Toms need to kiss in front of their picture. Schwartz says he doesn’t want to kiss Tom anymore, but checks his breath. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, kissing Tom is smoky, and Coors lighty, but still pleasurable. He tells Tom that his lips are softer than they used to be, and Ariana says it’s the Chapstick she gave him.

Max tells Dayna that he made himself vulnerable, and then she pressed a button that made him feel some type of way. He doesn’t want to hang out or talk to her. She says there were four people out of the photo who he slept with. Brett told her that he had sex with five people since they stopped dating, and he’s mad because she was kissing Brett. Who cares? He says she kissed Brett because she’s spiteful, and she says, it just happened. He says he loves that for her, but she says he’s trying to make her the bad guy. He tells her that she’s on her high horse, and she says he’s on the highest horse there is. All the time they hung out, he says he didn’t care who she went out with. He says he’s turned off, and she says, the feeling is mutual. She’s done with it, and him putting out negativity about her. In her interview, she says, Max is playing the sympathy card with a small violin. No one else can play with his toys, even if he doesn’t want to. He says she can’t hurt him because he’s over her; it’s the way she carries herself. She says she likes the way she carries herself, and at least she’s not screwing everyone to validate herself. He says don’t forget he hired her. She wouldn’t be there if not for him. Stay in her lane. She says she is in her lane, and he runs away walks off.

Lisa takes the mic, and says, it’s been a year. Have a drink, and celebrate. They’ve decided they’re expanding. She loves them all, and it’s been some incredible journey. This year, some of them became grown-ups, and some, not so much, but there’s always an opportunity to get better. She truly believes that. Cheers to a new beginning, cheers to the future, and thank you. Brittany tells Jax, she’s kind of buzzed, and kisses him. Jax tells Tom, congratulations. In Brittany’s interview, she says it’s super easy for her to forgive and forget; sometimes too easy, but Tom has more to prove to Jax than to her. Jax tells Tom that he’s at the end of his rope, and Tom says he’s at his wit’s end with Jax. Jax says it’s more like a relationship than a friendship.

Kristen tells Stassi and Katie that she’s been sad all summer. She doesn’t understand it. She thought she was done with Carter. Katie says she thought they were still together. Stassi says, the friendship hasn’t been the same for a long time. Katie says, Kristen wanted to hear what she wanted to hear, and when she didn’t, she got mad. That’s not love. At the bar, Tom says Jax was spiteful. He wasn’t invited to the bachelor party or the wedding. He wasn’t allowed a single disagreement in the eight months leading up to the wedding. Jax says, it was his wedding. I have actually never heard of a guy acting like a Bridezilla before. It’s mind-boggling. In Jax’s interview, he says being the groom’s bitch is part of being best man. He tells Tom that he was crying in Home Depot while he was buying flowers, and Tom says, that doesn’t give him a hall pass.

Stassi tells Kristen, she cries that she doesn’t know what she’s done, and goes to everyone. Then everyone says the same thing. Kristen asks what she’s done to deserve this, and Katie says, it’s always about Kristen. Tom tells Jax, it’s a constant one-up. Why can’t Jax be happy for him? Stassi says, the Witches of WeHo is done-zo. Her brain is going to explode. In her interview, Stassi says, it’s hard saying goodbye. When she first came there, she was the new girl, and Kristen was the cool older one. Kristen knew all the tricks at SUR, and taught Stassi how to steal wine. Kristen introduced her to this group of friends, and Beau. Then she didn’t know if Kristen would be standing up with her at her wedding, or even be there. Jax tells Tom, he doesn’t know what to do, and Tom says Jax will do the same sh*t he’s done for twenty years. In Tom’s interview, he says Jax has been his friend for a long time, but he doesn’t know if he has space for Jax’s negativity anymore. He’s wasting his love and energy on the wrong person. Jax asks what they should do at this point, and Tom says he’s establishing boundaries. He’s not doing this anymore. Jax asks if they should take a break or a little time out, and Tom says, sure. Stassi and Katie go inside, leaving Kristen to follow by herself. Jax tells Brittany that he’s done with things with Tom, who wandered off. In Lisa’s interview, she says she doesn’t know where to start. Years of friendship she thought would last forever, and everything turned upside down. She doesn’t know where they’ll go from here. Jax will realize one day that these were his lifelong friends. We flash back to all of them over the years.

Lisa tells Jax that he shouldn’t make himself more special than he is. They’re all human, fall in love, f*** up, and they’ve all lost parents. It’s not a tragedy; it’s what life is about. He’s got every chance in life to pull it together, and see how lucky he is. End of effing story. Everyone leaves the party.

Next time, the reunion.

If Loving You Is Wrong

After Eddie shows Natalie the video of Kelly happy kissing Lushion, Natalie tells Eddie, get out. He says, nice place. A little Afrocentric for his taste, but nice. He leaves, and Natalie calls Lushion, leaving a message for him to call. She immediately calls again, and says, call her now.

Alex finishes with Randal, and gets a drink. He says he hates her, and she says she knows. He asks why she turned up, and she says because she can. And she wanted to show him something. He says, that she knows how to swallow? and she says, yeah, her pride. And that she knows how to be submissive, but most of all, she needed to let him know how stupid he actually is. Just like most men. He thinks he’s so smart. He thought she was the poor little housewife next door. He says that’s exactly what she is, and she says he’s so wrong. He suggests she tell him what she is, and she says, he thought he was a big bad snake and she was a poor little mouse. It’s more like he’s the tiny mouse and she’s the snake. She laughs, and says he doesn’t get the fact she played him since day one. He says, do not, and she says she knew he wanted her, and she was in control because men are so stupid. He did everything she wanted him to do, when she wanted him to do it. She did this just now. He’s welcome. He says she’s so very naïve thinking that. Get the hell out. She says gladly, and digs in his back pocket for his wallet. He tells her again to get out, and she leaves.

He follows her out, and says, on second thought, he had her pegged from the first moment. He knew she was easy, weak, and vulnerable, and he knew. She asks what did he know? and he says he knew she wasn’t in love with Brad, and he went after her. She laughs, and says he can’t stand it, can he? He says she can’t stand that he’s right, and she says, which proves her point. Everything he says is true, which proves she went after him. He’s really not that smart. Eddie parks in front of them, and Randal asks what the hell he’s doing there. Eddie tells Alex, hi, whore, and she says, hi, bigger whore. He says he’ll take that as a compliment. He sees they’re back at it, and Alex says, they are. They just had great sex. Eddie tells Alex to get her ass back in her house, and she tells him to get his ass back in his house. Oh, wait. He doesn’t have a house. Randal asks why Eddie is there, and Eddie says Randal called the police. Randal says he called the real police, and Eddie says, the real police are there, d*ckhead. Randal said someone assaulted him. Randal says, go to hell, and Eddie says he can take Randal down to the station for making a false claim. Randal says he didn’t, and Eddie asks who assaulted him? Randal says, Natalie, and Eddie says, what is wrong with you people? All you ever think about is violence and killing. Randal says, someone should kill Eddie’s ass, and Eddie says, everyone tried and failed. Does he want to press charges or take a ride? Randal says, kiss his ass, and Eddie says he’s the law. Come with him or take a walk. Randal goes to his door, and Eddie says, best decision he’s ever made. He asks what Alex is still doing there, and she says she’s waiting for her ride. Unless he wants to give her a ride. He says he wouldn’t spit on her ass if it was on fire. He asks what she’s doing; what’s with this whole get-up? She says she’s going back to her roots, and he says it’s quite the hombre look she’s got going on. Go in her house. She says she doesn’t live there anymore. She left Brad and the kids. They can take care of themselves. Eddie wonders what’s going on, and heads toward Brad’s house. Alex jumps in the squad car, and takes off.

Eddie radios dispatch, and tells them to look out for his patrol car. The dispatcher says they can put a trace on it, and he says, then do it. She says, say please, please, and he says, please. Everyone laughs, and he says when he gets back, he’s going to put his foot in every one of their dispatch asses. Find his car. She asks how he lost it, and he says it was stolen by three Black suspects. One looked like Tyler Perry. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! They were wearing jeans and those oversized T-shirts they like. Alex gets on the radio, and says, that’s a bunch of sh*t. He tells her to get her ass off the radio, and she says he really said that about black people; he’s such a liar. The dispatcher wonders who she is, and Alex says she’s the Black male who stole the car. And she didn’t steal it; it’s not even 50 feet away. He’s not looking. Eddie says, she’s lying, and the dispatcher tells Alex, stay there. The police are on their way. Alex says, not a chance, and the dispatcher asks if Eddie wants to make a report. He says, write the damn report, adding, she must be Black. She calls him a racist SOB, and he says he’s coming back to the station.

Eddie walks into Brad’s house, and Brad asks if he ever knocks. Eddie says, not really, and he asks what Marcie is doing there. Brad says, she’s cooking, and Eddie says it’s one crazy-ass merry-go-round they’ve got going on there. Brad suggests Eddie get off of it. Eddie says he is, but he’s trying to figure out what happened. Brad says, it’s a long story, and Eddie says he’s got all day. Brad says, Alex left him with the kids, but Eddie doesn’t believe it. He says, Brad isn’t thinking of keeping that bastard, and Brad tells him, stay away from the baby, and don’t call him that. Eddie says he’s not Brad’s, but Brad asks why that matters. Eddie says, it’s not Brad’s problem. Who cares? Take the baby to the hospital and pass him off. Let someone else take care of him. Brad says Eddie will never change, and Eddie suggests dropping the baby off at a shelter. Brad says, enough, and Eddie says, it would be a good time to take the baby to the border. Brad tells him, get out, and Eddie says everyone is always throwing him out. Brad says he’s always acting like this. Eddie says, if Alex is gone, can he have a room? Brad says, his kids sleep there, and Eddie says he’ll just go up and look around. He goes upstairs, and Marcie asks why Brad puts up with him. Brad says he doesn’t like it, and doesn’t like Eddie at all. Eddie comes back down, and says, it will do. Brad says Eddie’s not staying there; get an apartment. Eddie says, why, when he’s got this place? Brad says, no way, and Eddie says he’ll help with the finances; a couple hundred a month. Brad asks what Eddie does with his money, and Eddie says, the ABCs; asses, bitches, and cocaine, not necessarily in that order. He has to grab some things, but he’ll be back. They’ll see how it works out, and go from there. He looks at Marcie, and says she’s filling out the A in his alphabet.

Steven goes to Esperanza’s house, and looks around. She says, Eddie’s not there, but he says they don’t know that. She says she would smell him, but he says he’s still going to look. She says she can’t believe Alex is staying at a bar with a guy she barely knows. She’s got to call Natalie; Marcie won’t help. Steven says he knows Alex is her friend, but she seemed… Esperanza says, drunk? and he says, determined to do whatever she wanted. She says, Alex would never give up on her kids like that, but he says Alex isn’t her, and you never know what circumstances drive people. She asks how he got so understanding, and he says he thinks he’s a decent guy. She says he’s a douche. He dresses nice, but he’s a douche. He asks what she thinks of Eddie, and she says, he’s not a douche. He’s a douchebag, a tool, and a crazy person who belongs in an asylum. She thanks Steven for being a douche, and he says, you’re welcome? She thanks him for being a somewhat decent person; for just being him. What if she wanted to look into making this more? He says, why? She’s got all the say. She told him in the beginning that she was in control, and would say when he comes and goes. Is she going to tell him what to say too? Does she want him to move in? She says she didn’t say that. Stay a couple hours, and she’ll introduce him to her daughter. He says, it must be semi-serious, and she asks if he’d like to meet her daughter. He says he’d love to, and she says it’s a big deal for her. Eddie is the only man her daughter knows in her life. He says he’d love to take the time to know about Esperanza, and she says she agrees. He asks if she wants to do it, and says she always has to play hard to get. He kisses her, but she says she doesn’t have time. Stop it.

Larry calls Ian into his office. He asks if Ian has a newer version of his phone, and asks Ian to show him how to get email notifications. Ian shows him, and Larry tells him to sit and relax. He keeps messing with Ian’s phone, and talking about what a great case it’s in. Ian says he can get Larry one, but Larry says, that’s okay. Ian reaches for his phone, but Larry won’t let him take it. Larry says when that hot shot public defender Carl came in, he was so good, he offered Carl a job. Ian doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and Larry asks, why? Ian says he’s green, and Larry says he did tell Ian that Carl just got lucky. Ian asks if he can have his phone back; he doesn’t want to miss a call. Larry looks at the phone, and says he already missed two. They’re calling again now; take it there. Ian says he’s not taking his call in Larry’s office, but Larry answers. It’s Carl, and Ian says he’ll call back, and hits the disconnect button. Larry says Ian will have plenty of time, and Ian grabs his phone back. Larry says, tell him about it, but Ian says, there’s nothing to tell. He’s trying to protect the firm. Larry says Ian doesn’t have to worry about the firm anymore; he’s fired. Ian asks what Larry is talking about, and Larry asks if he stuttered. Ian says he’ll bury Larry, and Larry says he’d like to see Ian try. Ian says he’ll clean up his office, but Larry says, it was already done while Ian was there. Ian says, it’s going be a pleasure not to work for him.

Peter and Paisley come home, and Peter asks what Marcie is doing there. Brad says, cooking dinner, and he asks, where’s mom? Brad says that’s what he needs to talk to them about. Paisley asks what’s going on, and Brad asks them to sit. He says he and their mom have gotten a divorce, and Paisley says she told them. Brad says what she didn’t tell them was that she needed a vacation. She wanted to go away for a few days, and she might be back tomorrow or the next day, but she’ll be back. Pater asks where she went, and Brad says, she went away with friends. Peter asks if she’s okay, and Brad says, she’s fine. Peter asks if he’s sure, and Brad asks, why? Paisley says she was upset about the divorce; she was really sad. Brad says, the good thing is, he’ll take care of them until she comes back, and Marcie will be there to help out. Peter asks if they’re dating? Brad says, what? and Peter says, it’s a simple question. Brad tells them that he and Marcie are dating, and Paisley says they’re not kids anymore; they know what’s going on, and can understand too. Brad apologizes for keeping them in the dark, and Peter says they just want him and mom to be happy. Brad says they’ll talk over dinner. The kids tell him that they love him, and he says he loves them too. They go upstairs, and Marcie says he and Alex did something right. Brad says he can’t believe how well that went, and she hugs him.

Mica comes home, and sees Steven. She asks what he’s doing there, and Esperanza says that’s what she wanted to talk about. Mica says she doesn’t want to talk about it. She hears them having sex, and it’s disgusting. Her dad told him what a horrible person Steven is; he beat his last wife. Esperanza says, that’s not true. Mica says she wants to stay with her dad if Steven is there, and tells Steven, there’s the door. She doesn’t like him or the way he looks at her. Esperanza says Mica has never met him, and Mica says her dad told her that Steven was staring at her while she was in school. Esperanza says, that’s not true, and Steven says, they’ll talk later. Mica tells him, don’t come back. When he’s gone, Esperanza tells Mica, never ever be this rude to her friends again. Mica says, don’t be rude to her dad, and Esperanza says they’re not together anymore. Mica says, because of her; she’s a whore. Esperanza slaps Mica across the face, and says, never talk like that to her. Her father is lying. Mica says, Esperanza is the liar. She made him leave. She runs to her room.

Natalie leaves another message for Lushion, saying she’s called four times, and he needs to call her. The kids come home, and tell her that Justice was in a fight; they talked about his momma. Justice says he beat the fool down, and Natalie tells the others to go to their rooms and do their homework. Justice tells her, the kids won’t leave him alone, and they talk about his momma. She didn’t do anything to them, and he’s going to get a gun. Natalie says he’s not going to do that. He says he doesn’t want to talk to her, and she asks, what’s wrong? She’s sorry. She knows it’s hard, and she’s sorry, but it’s going be all right. He says everyone keeps saying that, but where’s his momma? Natalie calls Lushion again, and asks where he is. She needs to talk to him.

Mica calls Eddie, and says her mom had that guy over, and she told him to leave. He says, good for her. She says she doesn’t want to be there; she wants to stay with him. He says he’s staying with Uncle Brad while his house is being worked on. She says she doesn’t want to stay there; Esperanza slapped her across the face. He asks if her face is red. She says it is, and he tells her to take a picture of her face, and send it to him. Why did her mother hit her? She says she called her mother a whore, and he says, the truth hurts. She says it’s terrible there; she wants to stay with him. He says he knows it’s terrible, and wishes he’d picked a better woman to be her mother. She asks if he can he pick her up. He says he’ll be there later, and she asks if they can go to a hotel. He says, not tonight; he has to work the late shift. She says her mother drives her crazy, and he tells her to keep herself together. Keep speaking her mind; she gets it from daddy. Esperanza knocks on her door, and Mica says her father knows Esperanza is a whore, and wishes he’d done better. He said Mica doesn’t have to speak to her.

Esperanza asks Mica to come out, but Mica says her dad told her that she doesn’t have to talk to Esperanza. Leave her alone. Esperanza says she’s not playing. Come out. Mica says, leave me alone, you whore, and Esperanza tells her, please stop talking like that. Mica asks if Esperanza is going to hit her again, and Esperanza says she’s so sorry, but Mica can’t speak to her that way. Mica says, whore, and Esperanza walks away.

Esperanza calls Eddie, and he says, Mica is damn right to call her a whore, and Esperanza slapped her in the face. She shouldn’t have that boy in the house; he’s not playing. She says he thinks he’s going to get custody, but she’s going to tell the judge everything about how he’s using his own daughter. She wants to give Mica a better life, away from him. He says she’s the one Mica should stay away from. She says, she swears… and he says, bye, bitch. Steven texts her that he’s outside, and she goes out. She sits in his car, and he asks if she’s okay. She says, no, and he says he’s sorry. She says Eddie is using Mica against her, and says terrible things to Mica about her. He says, that’s Eddie. She can’t expect anything else. She says, the worst part is that Mica believes him, and she can’t talk to her. He says she can’t right now, but will when Mica is calm and ready. She has the devil in her ear. She says Mica has the devil as her father, and he says, that too. He hates what Eddie did to her. She says she’ll be all right, and thanks him. He says Mica just wasn’t ready, and she says she’s sorry. He tells her, don’t be. They’ll set her straight. She thanks him again, and he hugs her.

Lushion comes home, and sees Eddie. Eddie asks, what’s going on? and Lushion asks what Eddie is doing in front of his house. Eddie says he had a nice chat with Natalie, and Lushion calls him a son of a bitch. Eddie says he got that right. Lushion has no idea of the damage he’s about to face. She’s mad as hell. Lushion says, okay. Eddie sees Kelly coming home, and says, hey. Kelly tells him, don’t talk to her, and he asks how the fresh air is. She repeats, don’t talk to her, and starts to walk inside. He says, that’s where she killed that man. How does she sleep there? He wants to know. The man’s blood is in there, and she lays her head down peacefully. Lushion tells him, go somewhere, and Eddie says Lushion needs to go somewhere and work on his marriage.

Kelly goes inside, and Lushion follows. He says, it must be good to be home, and she says she’s sorry about that with Eddie. It’s totally her fault. He says, it’s all right, and she asks if he wants her to talk to Natalie. He says, no; he will. It will be better if he does. She says, if he needs her to come by, she will, and she thanks him. She says it’s hard being there. She wants to go in the back. He says he’ll go with her, and she wonders if that’s wise. He says Natalie needs to think about this. Trust him. He’s doing the right thing. He follows her into the back of the house, and I’m intrigued.

Natalie goes out on the porch and sees Eddie, who says, mm-mm-mm. Now she’s trying not to hear what he’s saying. She tells him, go to hell, and he says, they’ve been in there a long time. If he was her, he’d go check on what’s going on. Don’t knock. He can see the wheels spinning. Talking about himself in the third person, he says, Eddie has never lied to her. She strides over to Kelly’s house, and he says, don’t knock. Just put her ear to the door. She starts to knock, but then goes inside. He says, that’s it, and rubs his hands together, saying, he’s so good.

Natalie goes into the house, and walks to the back. She listens at a bedroom door for a moment, and busts in, yelling, you MF’ers!   

Next time, Mica goes missing, Larry ask if there’s anything Eddie cares about, Brad asks if Ian thinks he’s the baby’s father, and Steven threatens to beat Eddie’s ass.

🥱 The Sun Also Rises…

It’s been a roller coaster with my sweet pup, but he’s still hanging in there, and so am I. Stay safe, stay resourceful, and stay on top of your stimulus check.

May 18, 2020 – Nelle Snags a Husband, a Possible Nose Problem, Return Listing, Lotsa Free Distractions & Sun Walkin’


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

The week is starting off well, since I missed the beginning. Right now, I have a very sick dog, and the care is endless. Not complaining, just making excuses. The high points are, Sam and Alexis are at the boxing gym when Alexis finds out she’s been disbarred; Jordan, Curtis, Molly, and TJ are having a meal at the MetroCourt; and Ava meets with a potential buyer for her penthouse, only to discover it’s Cyrus.

Nelle comes running into the courtroom, wearing a wedding dress and carrying a bouquet. She says she’s sorry she’s late, but the most incredible thing just happened. Addressing her as Miss Benson, Judge Lowe says, if she’s serious about the hearing, she wouldn’t be late. Nelle says the hearing is the most important thing to her, but she’s no longer Miss Benson. She and her new husband were unavoidably delayed.

Sam asks if Alexis can appeal. Maybe she should find an attorney to help her get out of it. Alexis says, it’s perjury, and a serious rule of law; there’s no coming back from it. Sam suggests she work on her second act. She had a great first one, with an amazing career, and she’s saved money. Why doesn’t she sit back, and figure out what she wants to do next? Alexis says she doesn’t want to do anything else, so she’s going home to binge watch TV. Sam says that’s not why she brought Alexis there. Sam’s phone rings, and she steps away. Alexis kicks at the bag, and Brando says she might want to tape her hands and put on gloves, but she says she’d rather kick it. He says it must be her first time boxing, and she says she was brought there against her will. He says, so it’s a hostage situation. Blink once if she needs to be rescued. She blinks, and Sam comes back. She asks why Brando is talking to her mother. He says, mother? and Alexis says, that would be her.

Sonny stops by, and asks if TJ and Molly are excited about their domestic partnership. Kristina told him about the domestic partner thing, and he guesses it’s more enlightened than marriage. He’ll take their word for it, but the main thing is, are they happy? TJ says, most definitely, and Sonny says he’s sorry about what happened. Is TJ okay? TJ says he and Molly are working to move forward. His only concern is not being able to give Mac more details about the kidnapping. It makes no sense. He was grabbed, and left alone. Not even a ransom request. Sonny asks what Mac turned up, and Curtis says he’s sure Mac is doing all he can. Sonny says he’s glad TJ is back, and TJ says he is too. Sonny congratulates them, and moves along. Molly says she never wants to go through that again. The weeks without TJ were awful. TJ says, it’s time wo work on their life together going forward.

Cyrus tells Ava, he was skeptical of Lucy. She has an excitable manner, but she understands real estate. Ava says he has her at a loss. Lucy said she had a cash buyer, but neglected to give her his name. He introduces himself, and she says she’s heard of him. She’s aware of his reputation. He says he’s aware of hers as well. She asks what he means, and he says she’s a gallery owner, and he’s a big art lover. He’s heard she’s going to be showing a new piece by Franco at Windymere. That should make for a memorable evening. Ava says, after what Cyrus has done, he won’t be on the guest list.

Josslyn, Dev, Cameron, and Trina go to the park. Trina says, Oscar’s meadow is green now. She loves when everything blooms. They sit at a picnic table, and Cameron asks how Josslyn is feeling. She says she guesses okay. It’s been a year, and she still misses him. She thinks she always will, but she doesn’t know. Now when she thinks about him, she smiles more than she cries. Trina says, that’s progress, and Josslyn says she owes them an apology. She knows she’s been absent lately. Dev thinks being kept on lockdown had something to do with it, and she says she hated house arrest, but she didn’t have to lean in as much as she did. She could have found ways to stay connected. From here on out, no more hiding with her journal instead of hanging with them. Cameron asks if she’s giving it up, and Trina says, admitting the problem is the first step. Josslyn is sure she’ll still write, but she doesn’t feel it’s as necessary. She’s glad Dustin suggested it, but she misses her friends.

Martin begs the court’s indulgence. A wedding is a blessed event, and his client is still elated at the happy news. Nelle says her new husband is here now, and Julian walks in. Diane says, just when she thought Julian couldn’t sink lower, and Michael says, Nelle just overplayed her hand. Nelle says they were married last night, and everything has been a happy blur. She’s sorry she lost track, and wasn’t on time. Judge Lowe tells Martin to get his client under control, and explain that she shouldn’t address the court unless and until she’s directed to. Martin tells Nelle, do herself a favor and don’t say anything unless she’s asked. The judge assumes there’s a valid license, and Nelle gives it to Martin, who passes it to the judge. Diane laughs, and Judge Lowe says it appears to be in order, but he’s calling a brief recess to check the validity. When he gets back, he expects to proceed with no more outbursts.

Willow asks what Michael meant by Nelle overplaying her hand. He says, Nelle couldn’t have picked a worse candidate. Julian is an ex-mobster. Diane says, whatever case Nelle thought she had, Julian just tanked it.

Sam introduces Alexis to Brando. Alexis says his name sounds familiar… She looks at Sam, and Sam nods. Alexis says she’s also Kristina’s mother, and they’re connected via Sonny. Brando has also met her third daughter, Molly. He laughs, and says Molly brought her car in, and he fixed her up. Alexis says she heard all about it, and Sam suggests they get back to their workout. He says, nice to meet her. Alexis tells Sam, no wonder Molly slept with him. Sam is like, mother! and Alexis says she doesn’t think Molly did anything wrong. He seems nice, has a sense of humor, and he’s cute; he looks like he works out. Sam says she doesn’t see it. Please. Even I see it.

Molly, TJ, Curtis, and Jordan clink glasses. Molly says it was nice of Sonny to send over champagne, and Jordan says she wants to thank him in person. She goes over to Sonny at the bar, and he says he hasn’t heard from her. She says, TJ is home safe now, and he asks if that means their collaboration is over. She says she doesn’t need his help, and he asks, what if Mac’s investigation leads to Cyrus? She tells him, stay out of her investigation. She’ll handle her own people.

Cyrus is surprised Ava isn’t more open to him, since she’s had struggles herself. She says, a few public incidents she’s put behind her. She’s not going back by getting involved with him. He’s responsible for a good friend losing her father. He’s says he’s sorry for her friend’s loss, but she was misinformed. He just got out of prison; his sentence was vacated. She says, how convenient, and he says he was exonerated from a wrongful conviction. Now he’s focused on building a new life, and looks forward to doing business with her. The penthouse suits him perfectly. He just needs the paperwork to close. Sonny listens in, and Cyrus’s phone rings. He excuses himself, and Sonny approaches Ava. He asks what the hell she’s doing.

Ava says she doesn’t care for Sonny’s tone. They were talking business. He says this always happens with her. She takes one step forward, and five back. Just when he thinks she has one ounce of humanity, bringing Avery to see his dad, she does business with a known drug trafficker. Does she know where Cyrus’s money is coming from? She asks why he’s so quick to think the worst of her. Trina interns for her, and Trina is devastated by her father’s death. He says, then why do business with the guy who’s responsible? and she says Lucy never told her who the potential buyer was.

Dev says, it’s the first time they’ve all been together, and they’re on their phones. Josslyn suggests they do something fun tomorrow after school, but Cameron says he and Trina are playing ultimate frisbee. Josslyn asks if it’s formal teams, or can anyone go? and Cameron says, it’s pretty casual. Dev says he’ll get to prove he’s better than Cameron at another sport, and Josslyn says it will be a nice change from volleyball. Cameron says he’s not sure how much playing time they’ll get, and Josslyn wonders if he and Trina don’t want them to go.

Jordan says, the MetroCourt ballroom is gorgeous, but TJ says they have the Nurses Ball coming up, and they don’t want something that fancy. Curtis says, there’s always outside, and it will be nice soon. Jordan says, Molly is quiet, and asks if they can have some girl talk. They both go to the bar.

Diane tells Michael and Willow, Nelle’s shotgun wedding might work in their favor, but she’s warning them not to get ahead of themselves. They’re going to stick to the strategy. Michael and Willow are loving, committed parents. She tells Willow, whatever Nelle and that sleazeball husband throw at her, don’t engage. Carly suggests Diane not call Julian a sleazeball, but Diane says she’ll have her game face when court starts. Poor Alexis. Just when she’s gotten herself together, now Julian marries Nelle. Michael says Nelle must have found something incriminating on Julian, and wonders what it is.

Martin asks what Nelle was thinking, showing up late married to Julian. She says they couldn’t wait, and Julian says they want the best for Wiley. Nelle says, and that’s for Wiley to live with them.

Michael says Julian must have run to Nelle and told her about him and Willow getting married, but Carly says she received a call telling her that Nelle already knew. Michael asks, who called? but she says, it doesn’t matter. He says it does to him; who called to warn her? She says, Sasha.

Curtis asks TJ to level with him. How’s he doing? TJ says, fine, and Curtis says he was kidnapped. He was just held hostage, and had to think he might be killed. It’s enough to freak anyone out, him included. TJ says he’s not sleeping well. He dreams he’s still a hostage, and wakes up in a panic. He tosses and turns, and then gets up because he doesn’t want to disturb Molly. Curtis says he’s sorry to hear that, and TJ says he checks the windows to make sure no one is lurking around. It’s lunacy. Curtis says, what TJ went through was traumatic, and he wants TJ to know he can reach out. Whatever TJ needs. TJ says, what he needs is to pull himself together before he drives Molly away.

Ava tells Sonny that Lucy didn’t tell her who the buyer was. He says, now she knows, and she says she can do business with whoever she wants. It’s not like Sonny is so picky with the associates he deals with. Yet he holds himself up like an excellent role model for Avery. What’s he going to do when Avery finds out who he is? He says he’s a coffee importer, and like her art gallery, his business is legit. It always cracks me up when anyone, especially Sonny, says he’s a coffee importer. Ava’s phone rings, and it’s Carly. She tells Ava that Nelle married Julian. Ava doesn’t believe it, and Carly tells her to ask her brother.

Molly asks Jordan if she said something wrong. Is Jordan upset they chose domestic partnership instead of traditional marriage? Jordan says, no. She’s upset with herself. She’s beyond mortified about the way she acted, and owes Molly a major apology. Molly thanks her, and Jordan says, her goal was never to hurt Molly. She thinks Molly and TJ are perfect together, and doesn’t want to see her son with anyone else.

Sam tells Alexis, this is probably better than hitting the bag, and hands her a jump rope. Alexis says, she’s good, but Sam says, it’ll work up a sweat. Alexis says, no; she thinks she’ll hit the steam room. Sam says she wants to work out, and Alexis tells her, suit herself. She leaves, and Sam approaches Brando. She asks if he has a minute.

Michael says, Sasha gave Carly a heads up? and Carly says Sasha was afraid Nelle would do something to stop the wedding. Michael says, that might be the Sasha he used to know, and asks Diane how Nelle showing up with a sudden husband will affect her case. Diane says, it’s not a good look. Julian’s shady past will bolster their case. Willow asks if pointing out that Nelle’s wedding was last minute, will magnify them doing the same thing, but Diane says, let the visuals tell the story. Nelle looks like a lunatic, and Julian looks like exactly what he is. And Michael and Willow look like what they are; a committed couple devoted to each other and Wiley’s well-being. Judge Lowe returns.

In her opening argument, Diane says, what’s at stake is the best for a young child, and the number one reason for sole custody to go to the biological father. Michael is the successful CEO of a multi-billion dollar family owned business, which gives him tremendous standing in the community. But he’s not an absentee parent. His first priority is his son. In an ironic twist, Wiley’s adoptive parents asked Michael to be Wiley’s godfather, a position he took seriously. He’s been in Wiley’s life since day one, as has his wife Willow. They live in a multi-generational home where Wiley will be surrounded by extended family who will make him feel loved and safe.

Diane tells Willow, Michael has perfected the art of the poker face; Willow, not so much. No matter what Martin says, she has to stay calm. It will be refuted in her testimony. Losing her cool does none of them any good. Willow says, understood. Nelle tells Martin that she’s counting on him. He says he knows. That’s why he’s charging so much. A heads up about her wedding would have been helpful though.

Brando says he knows what Sam is going to say; stay away from her mother. Could she do him a favor, and make a list of all her relatives? Then he can vet strangers to make sure they’re not related to her. Sam says, actually, she wanted to apologize. She’s sorry she gave him such a hard time at the garage. He says, in that case, he accepts. Should they start over, and be satisfied with a silent nod across the room? Sam says she’ll take that, and walks off.

Jordan and Molly come back to the table, and Curtis asks if Jordan is okay. She says, there’s a lot going on at work. TJ says, Cyrus? and Jordan asks what he knows about Cyrus. He says he read that he’d been put in prison ten years ago, Jordan figured out he was framed, and had him exonerated. Molly says she admires Jordan’s integrity; it couldn’t have been easy. Curtis says Jordan did what she needed to do to make things right.

Cyrus says he looked into Ava’s background, and knows she shares a daughter with Sonny. That can’t be easy. If she ever needs help to put Sonny in his place… She says she needs nothing from him, and he says, fair enough. Let’s talk about the penthouse. She says she’ll never sell it to him. She wouldn’t do that to Trina. And more important, don’t ever mention her daughter again – ever. She walks away, and Cyrus laughs.

Cameron tells Josslyn, don’t be silly. Of course (🍷) they want her and Dev to play. Trina says Josslyn is so competitive all the time, if she was ever on the sidelines, she might have a nervous breakdown. Josslyn says, her competitive? and Cameron says, a little bit. He looks forward to a worthy opponent. Trina says she thought he had one already. Dev says teams are supposed to build sportsmanship, and Cameron says they’re just having fun. Trina says she’ll text them the information tonight. Josslyn tells Dev that they have to head back; Tony is waiting. Cameron says he and Trina are headed the other way. Trina says she’ll see them tomorrow, and goes with Cameron. Josslyn and Dev sit back down, and Josslyn says, it’s not just her, right? She genuinely thought Cameron and Trina didn’t want them to go. Dev says he thinks Cameron has no idea how act around Josslyn, and Josslyn says Cameron has known her for her entire life. Dev says, but now he likes her.

Martin says what has already happened to Nelle is nothing short of a Greek tragedy. She was the victim of car accident, walking dazed and disoriented; left in the woods to give birth alone. When she came to, Brad had callously switched infants, and she had a dead baby in her arms. All those months, she grieved a baby she thought was dead. While in prison, she risked her own life to stop a vicious serial killer, and got early release for her heroism. Shortly afterward, she and Michael got the shock of their lives; their baby wasn’t dead, but alive and well. Lucas did the right thing, but instead of basking in the joy of their joint miracle, Michael only thought of himself, and petitioned the court to keep the child, when the child has been through enough. Then another miracle. Nelle fingers the half-heart necklace, and Martin says, Nelle found love. Nelle remembers telling Julian that she knows what he did. He caused an accident that almost killed his son. Lucas will never forgive him, but it doesn’t matter. If Sonny finds out, he’ll kill Julian. Martin says, it’s like Shakespeare. A love story of a brave young woman, just out of prison, starting a new life; and a man recovering his own life. Nelle thinks about Julian telling her, she was so desperate to keep Michael away from his son, she begged Brad to take him. Martin says, kindred souls married, and Nelle remembers telling Julian if he tries to persuade Sonny that Brad knew, Sonny will know he knew. Even if Sonny doesn’t kill Julian, there’s a sealed envelope to be opened in the event of her death or disappearance, and it will send the cops straight to Julian’s door. Martin says, plus there’s the concern that Wiley’s grandfather is a known mob kingpin. Nelle thinks of Julian telling her, there’s nothing left to say except, will she marry him? She says she doesn’t know. He didn’t get down on one knee. She’s kidding. Go get his suit on, and they’ll seal the deal. Martin says, what they did is blend two lives to make a family who will raise and give Wiley a loving home. It’s not as big as a mansion, but it will be filled with love. Nelle continues to play with the necklace.

Cameron tells Trina, he missed all four of them being together. She says she did too, but it wasn’t bad with just him. He says, likewise; it’s been great. She says, all the craziness, the kidnapping, her dad dying, and Cameron has been there. She doesn’t think she said thank you. He wants her to know he’ll always have her back; he promises. She says, pinky swear? and they do.

Dev says they should go, and Josslyn asks if he thinks Cameron likes likes her. He’s into her? Dev says, trust him. She’s the last to know. She says, it makes no sense. For the past year, she’s been a mess. Why would Cameron start crushing on her when she’s at her worst? Dev asks if she remembers when she and Cameron fake dated to make Oscar jealous. She says, that was a million years ago, and Dev says, maybe it was real for Cameron. She asks why Cameron wouldn’t have said something, and he says, she was in love with Oscar. Then she was grieving Oscar. The timing was wrong. She asks what she does now. How will it not be awkward when Cameron is around. Dev says he wouldn’t worry. He’s sure Cameron will understand that she doesn’t feel the same way. He’s a really good friend.

Cyrus asks for a word with Jordan, and Curtis tells him, keep moving. Cyrus says Jordan changed the ground rules and included her husband, and he can put Curtis’s skill set to use. Curtis tells him, don’t push it, and Cyrus says, who’s pushing? He’s offering Curtis some business. The health of the Police Commissioner and her loved ones remains his top concern.

Judge Lowe says, the opening remarks have been concluded, so they’re going to have an hour’s meal break. Willow says, Diane doesn’t think the judge believes Martin, does she? Diane says, more important was how they maintained a calm demeanor. Keep it up. It won’t make them look cold; it will make them look smart. Carly suggests they walk over to the MetroCourt, and Michael says, sounds good. Willow says keeping a calm demeanor is tougher then she thought. Diane leaves to make a call, and Nelle asks Martin how he thinks it’s going. He says he’s pleased, but they should go eat. And Julian should join them. Julian asks if Martin is going to put him on the witness stand.

On the phone, Diane tells Alexis, Nelle just showed up in court with her new husband. Alexis says she’s surprised, but not shocked. Nelle isn’t going down without a fight. Who did she lure into marriage? Diane says, Nelle’s new groom is Julian.

Martin tells Julian, he’d like to avoid it if possible. If they paint Sonny as a threat, given that Julian is also affiliated with organized crime, it’s best not to open that line of inquiry. Nelle says, in that case, shall they? Julian says he’s not interested, but she says he agreed to be a loving husband. He says he’s starting to think some things are worse than death, and she says, okay. All married couples need time apart. She’ll see him after the break. Alone in the courtroom, Julian tells himself, get it together. Sonny walks in, and Julian supposes Sonny isn’t there to offer his congratulations. Sonny says, congratulations on marrying one of the few people he hates more than he hates Julian.

Tomorrow, Scotty tells Franco that he wouldn’t trust Nikolas when it comes to Elizabeth; Carly tells Martin, if he uses Sonny against Michael, it will be his funeral; and Sonny tells Julian to do what needs to be done.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Glenn tells Jenna, a couple of things have been brought to his attention. Interior had two people down at the same time, and they need to have two people available. He spoke to Madison, and knows both Jenna and Georgia were down, while Madison was doing cabins and laundry. Jenna says she can’t recall the day, but it’s frustrating to get negative feedback. He says she sounds defensive, and she says she put so much thought and effort into planning things out to make the guests happy. She’s not just effing off. He says she and Adam took a break at the same time, so they could chill together, and it’s drawing attention. He’s seen things, and can only imagine what he hasn’t seen. It’s not cool. Jenna asks where they’re supposed to be affectionate, and he says (and rightly so), that’s not his problem. They need to be discreet. She asks if she should tell Adam not to touch her, and Glenn says he’ll be happy to speak to them both as a couple, but they need to tone it down. He wants all of them to finish on a high note, and kick it up a notch.

Georgia asks Madison what the meeting is about, and Madison says she has no idea. She’s just trying to flip the boat. Georgia says she just wants the full picture, but Madison says Georgia knows as much as she does. I’m starting not to like Madison. I think she’s two-faced and jealous. I understand she has issues, but get some therapy. Dr. Yannopapas arrives, and talks to Chris. Chris explains that he hurt himself lifting the Seabob. The outside of his foot is numb and tingling. The doctor tells Chris to close his eyes, and touches him with a pokey thing (technical term). Chris says he can barely feel it, and the doctor says, it’s a problem. Chris needs an MRI as soon as possible. Chris asks if he can work, but the doctor says no. In Chris’s interview, he says he doesn’t want to end up with a long term problem. He’s never had pain like this. The doctor says, seriously, he wouldn’t risk it.

Jenna tells Adam that she doesn’t feel like doing anything; she hates this. Adam asks when her break is. He doesn’t want to get in trouble if they’re both not working. He tells Jenna to brush it off. It’s all you can do. She says she’s having a hard time with this, since she works her ass off, then gets a comment about not having the service up to par. Adam says he’s sorry they came down on her, and she says, people can’t be happy and working at the same time. Adam says he won’t touch her, but one last hug before they sign off. He looks around, tells her to hurry, and grabs her butt.

The doctor talks to Glenn, and says Chris has a problem with his nerve something, and goes into a bunch of medical terms which boil down to Chris’s nerve getting squashed. He says Chris needs an MRI as soon as possible. Until he sees the report, Chris can’t work, and needs complete rest. In Glenn’s interview, he says Chris is one of the best deckhands he’s had. He’s concerned for Chris, but they have the last charter tomorrow. What options does he have? Chris tells Glenn, he’ll get the MRI immediately, and if he can work, he wants to. He tells Paget there’s a chance he won’t be able to work. Paget says, there’s a problem already, and this isn’t helping. Glenn says after Chris gets the MRI, they’ll see how it goes. In Paget’s interview, he says they just got rid of someone who couldn’t do their job. Now someone has injured themselves. He can’t catch a break . He tells Ciara about Chris being possibly laid up.

Jenna tells Madison that she’s getting super frustrated. She doesn’t like people prying into her personal life, and Madison has talked to everyone. Jenna is annoyed that Madison went to Glenn about her and Adam showing affection. That’s what the meeting was about. Madison says, Glenn came to her, and asked if she had an issue, and she said she didn’t. She’s not saying sh*t. She’s just trying to work, and make the guests happy. Whatever you want to do in your personal life, do it. Jenna says she’s tired of having to hold their hands, and she picks up after them constantly. Madison says she picks up after Jenna all the time when she’s sitting down with Adam. In Jenna’s interview, she says it’s not anyone’s place to comment on their superior’s personal life. Being with Adam didn’t affect their professional ability. She tells Madison that she’d just said it didn’t bother her, but apparently it does. I think what bothers Madison is what she’s also been griping about. Everyone else is coupled up, and now that Parker is gone, she has no dude to focus on. Jenna tells Madison, they have one last charter. She’s at the point where she doesn’t give a sh*t. She’s going to do her job, keep her head down, and tell them nothing.

Chris goes into town for the MRI. Madison whines to Glenn that she’d said she didn’t have an issue with Jenna, but she just got reamed out for being the source of this sh*t. Glenn says he told Jenna that it didn’t come from her department, but somehow it escalated. Madison says she’s sorry; she doesn’t like drama. Glenn tells Jenna, they’re going to have a three-way chat in the master. In Jenna’s interview, she says they have to be effing kidding her. Come on.

Chris goes to the doctor on shore. Glenn tells Jenna and Madison, he wants to make sure they’re on the same page. In his interview, he says he’s not there to get in the middle of their personal politics. His concern is that they call a truce, and get to the finish. Madison babbles that Glenn came to her, after he had a conversation with Ciara. Glenn says, to be fair, he thought Madison did have an issue, but didn’t voice it. Jenna says Madison claimed she didn’t have an issue, and then flipped it. Why? Madison says she can have an opinion. Glenn repeats that it didn’t come from Jenna’s department, and tells her, don’t take it out on Madison. Jenna says she doesn’t like any environment that puts the kibosh on affection, and Madison says it’s hard to talk to Jenna professionally when she’s lying on top of Adam. Glenn feels like Jenna is getting defensive, and Jenna asks if they’re screwing in the crew mess? They’re just holding hands, and Madison has an issue with it. She feels like it’s an environment she doesn’t want to be in. Glenn thinks she’s justifying her actions, and defending her actions when they’re indefensible.

Georgia asks how Paget is, and he says he’s not hurt as bad as Chris. Glenn asks Madison and Jenna if they think they can move forward. Jenna says, sure, but her personal life is affected, and it doesn’t make her happy. In Glenn’s interview, he says he’s never seen this side of Jenna, and this side isn’t acceptable, but he’s in a tough spot. They have one charter to go, and he’s not making a dramatic change now, but they have to get through this. Jenna asks if they’re done with this drama. The crew decides not to go out, so they can get the boat ready. Glenn suggests Chris do night watch. Chris comes back, and Glenn asks how it went. Chris says, it was a strange experience, and Glenn asks how he feels. Chris says he has he can feel the pain in his back, and Glenn tells him to lie down until he gets the news. Everyone goes to bed.

A preference sheet meeting is called. Glenn says it’s the last charter. The primary is Nicole, a high-end real estate broker, and CEO of a luxury real estate company. Jenna reads that Nicole has never sailed, and is hoping the service is even better on a sailing yacht. Jenna says, she’s in for a big surprise, which Glenn doesn’t find amusing. She reads that Nicole wants a pink party, with a seven-course pink tasting menu. Paget reads that guest Nicholas wants a race, and Glenn suggests an area of shallow water where they can set up a regatta.

The crew puts the finishing touches on the boat. In Adam’s interview, he says he’d hate for something positive, like his relationship with Jenna, to leave a bad taste in Glenn’s mouth. Despite a little PDA, there’s no question he and Jenna are capable of doing their jobs. Paget tells Ciara that she’s just stressed, and wants to give her a hug, but she says she just wants to work. In her interview, she says, the crew is in that phase where they want to just get off the boat. Jenna meets with Georgia and Madison, and says she’s been frustrated. Some things need improvement, and time management is lacking. Georgia is lackadaisical, and Madison needs to focus on what she’s doing, not the next thing she’ll be doing. In Georgia’s interview, she says, every time she thinks Jenna is going to admit she’s wrong, Jenna talks it down to the hierarchy and their inadequate feelings. She takes no accountability, and it’s bullsh*t.

Provisions come in. Ciara feels like sh*t. Glenn tells everyone to change for the guests’ arrival in ten minutes. The crew greets the guests, Glenn gives them a welcome, and Jenna gives the tour. Glenn tells Chris not to lift anything until he hears from the doctor. Snacks are served. Guest Jeanette says she wants a job where she doesn’t need to wear shoes, but then what would she do with her investment in shoes? Adam talks to them about the seven-course dinner. Paget tells Ciara that he’s feeling some knee pain, and she tells him, don’t leave her. The boat shoves off. Guest Noelle tells Jenna that she’s glad the boat is large, since she doesn’t do well on small sail boats. Adam says he’s getting all kinds of ideas for the pink dinner now. The doctor gets the MRI results back, and Chris has a disc prolapse, which explains the pain. The doctor says it would be extremely unwise lift any weight, and he should refrain from physical activity. He can walk around, but he has to see a specialist.

Jenna calls Paget for more chairs, and Adam feels sorry for him. Ciara says she has a headache. Byron tells Glenn that the wind has picked up; it’s time to go sailing. Glenn calls Chris to help with calling the sails. In Chris’s interview, he says he went straight from school to working on boats. It’s been his life since 2011, and if an injury means he can’t do what he loves, it’s scary. They begin to sail, and Ciara tells Paget that she feels like sh*t. Chris meets with Glenn, and tells him that he spoke to the doctor; there’s an issue with his spine. Glenn says, it sounds serious, and Chris tells Glenn that he’s not supposed to lift anything heavy. After the charter is over, he has to see a specialist. In Glenn’s interview, he says, it’s not feasible to get someone else and bring them up to speed in time. It’s a tough spot to be in. Ciara tells Paget that she’s feeling dizzy, and they’re already down one person. She starts to cry.

Paget tells Ciara to go have a cold shower. Glenn tells Chris, they’ll work around his injury, and make it work. Chris can take the 11 to 6 shift. Paget says, and then there was one. He tells Glenn that Ciara was suffering from a heat stroke; she’s in tears. Byron says they’ve lost the wind, and Glenn says, he goes downstairs for two seconds, and they sail straight into a hole. The sails are brought down, and Chris hobbles back downstairs. Adam notes that Nicole has no goat cheese on her preference sheet, so he decides he’ll replace it with pink cream cheese. Jenna tells him, some of the guests joined the nap train. Georgia finds Paget, and he tells her that Ciara spent twelve hours in the sun, and had a heat stroke. He asks if Georgia is coming back for winter work, but she says she wants to give the music thing a bigger shot. He says he’ll miss her; she’s one of the goodies. She says, that’s not saying much, but she’ll take it.

Adam pinks up the food, while Jenna decorates the table with everything pink. Ciara tells Paget that she just needed a nap and to cool down. Guest Billy is the only one up, and lurks around the buffet. Jenna tells Adam, it’s weird. Nicole wakes up on deck, and says she wants to take a shower before dinner. Byron tells Glenn that he read horse manure is self-igniting in Spain, it’s so hot. One of the guests whines that they’re starving, and Jenna tries to hurry Nicole along. Adam yawns, and we see it’s almost 10 pm. Guest Jeanette says Adam must be exhausted. In Adam’s interview, he says he’s not being a diva chef; he cares about the food. The problem is, it’s going to go bad, and he doesn’t get a second chance.

Adam says, seven courses, ten o’clock. Nicole is still getting dressed, and says, it’s like her prom tonight. The other guests want to eat, and one suggests bringing all the courses at once. Jenna tells Adam, the guests are getting riled up, and Nicole finally shows. I have to say, she doesn’t look anything like someone who took so much time getting ready. I vote meh. Jenna calls Madison to the galley, and tells Adam, they’re good to go. Georgia sings while she does cabins. Nicole says, imagine the world in pink all the time. What a pretty world it would be. She asks guest Billy if he’s all right, and another guest asks if he’s okay. Jenna clears the table, and tells Adam that she thinks they might be on drugs. It’s really weird up there.

Jenna serves beet salad, and one of the guests remarks on Billy’s eyes. Billy gets up, and goes to the bathroom. Nicholas says, Billy is good; he’ll be back in five. We hear a sniff coming from the bathroom, and Billy comes back to the table. Jenna serves trout, and Nicole says they should take Adam back to New York. Jenna tells Adam, it’s effing delicious. In their cabin, Glenn tells Byron that he’s listening a book about our inner fish, how we’re evolved from fish, and still have sh*t from them. It’s incredible. Billy says, it’s all about the pink party. Chris wanders around, and Jenna asks Madison how it’s going. In Madison’s interview, she says, it’s not worth it to deal with Jenna. Glenn wants them to work together, so she’s going to bust ass, and be professional. Jenna thinks Madison should be further along.

Lobster is served, and Nicole claps like a five year old. Billy pronounces it phenomenal, and Nicholas says, who gives a sh*t? Chris tells Jenna that he saw something strange under Billy’s nose earlier. We see a clip of Chris glancing over at Billy, who’s sniffing. Jenna says they’re all effing high. Guest Noelle asks Nicole, what’s going on? and Nicole says, shady stuff. In Jenna’s interview, she says, if a guest brings drugs on board, they’re all at risk being charged. If she and Chris suspect something illegal, but don’t say anything, it could be a big problem. Nicholas says he’s taking care of his friends; they’re good. In Jenna’s interview, she says she’s not waking up the captain. If she says anything herself, it could escalate the situation, and the correct thing to do is let Glenn deal with it himself in the morning.

Adam brings out the final pink dessert, and asks Nicole if everything was pink enough. He’s glad they enjoyed it, and Nicole says it’s the best meal she’s had. Billy says, it’s early, and asks what they’re doing, but everybody wants to go to bed. Billy goes down to his and Nicholas’s cabin, and Madison cleans up. Holed up in their cabin, Billy and Nicholas are still awake at 4 am, and we hear one of them say, I love you.

Byron says, it’s the last day of the season, and Adam says he’s stoked. Glenn calls Paget, asking him to get the paddleboards out. Inside the room, Billy announces that he’s king of the MF’ing world. Adam asks how much sleep he got, and Billy says he’s not sure he slept at all. Adam says he knows how those nights go.

Jenna tells Glenn that she doesn’t like to be accusatory, but Billy had some kind of powder under his nose. Glenn asks if she actually saw it around his nose. In Glenn’s interview, he asks why he’s hearing about it now. He tells Jenna, there’s no way it’s makeup, and if illegal substances are on board, it’s serious. In his interview, he says he can’t think of anything worse than the boat being confiscated, him losing his license, and possibly going to jail. He asks if Jenna feels confident in her assessment, and she says, based on his behavior, yes; although he did eat a seven-course meal.

Glenn wakes up Chris, and tells him that Jenna said he’d seen something. It would have been good to know in the moment; or if he’d seen it for himself, it would be different. If Chris had to bet money on it, what does he think? Chris says, if he had to bet money on it, cocaine. On deck, Billy asks how early they want him to black out.

Glenn comes up on deck, where Billy is spouting gems like, it’s only water if you fall in. Glenn unobtrusively observes. Jenna asks Georgia if she’s seen any paraphernalia lying around, and she says she hasn’t, but she wasn’t looking through things either. Some of the guests do paddle boarding, and Billy acts like an a-hole. Glenn tells Jenna, he’d be surprised if someone flew to Corfu with cocaine. If a guest has a prescription drug, it’s no problem. He’s sure people travel with Adderall all the time, and there’s a chance it’s that. I guess because all people with Adderall prescriptions snort it. In Jenna’s interview, she says she doesn’t go around accusing charter guests of having illicit drugs, but if they have them, it’s the worst thing that could happen. Glenn tells her if only one crew member saw it, that’s different, but he’s heard it from two crew members. He’ll speak to Nicole, and if he finds anything, it will be the end of the charter.

Billy gets on a paddle board, and giggles like a jerk. In Glenn’s interview, he says, if a guest goes ashore and comes back high, that’s not his problem, but if they brought drugs onto the boat, they’re in deep sh*t. He asks Nicole if they can have a chat.

Next time, the finale, Glenn does a search, Billy says his vacation is ruined, and Georgia tells Ciara that she has a thing for Paget.

💰 The new season of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles begins on June 16th.

🗃 A Pandemically Helpful Resource…

I have an entire pot of tea, but I need to sift the leaves, so in lieu of that, I give you CNET’s list of free entertainment, to keep you entertained.

📏 Inching closer…

I’d thought this whole pandemic was going easy on me until my dog got so sick. It was the only thing I’d worried about to begin with, and like Job, the thing that I fear comes upon me. He has a bad kidney infection, and it’s still touch and go, but as in all things, I might be the biggest cynic you’ll ever meet, but I hope for the best. Tomorrow is a late night, so bidding you to stay safe, stay sending good vibes my pup’s way, and stay on the sunny side of the street (as long as you’re six feet apart).