What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Alexis tells Neil this puts a new spin on meal delivery. He says he knows she’s working, and she says she’s doing research. He says she needs sustenance to concentrate, and she says he’s right. She worked out, and deserves it. Her trainer is mean, and today’s workout literally made her dizzy. Neil unpacks some take-out, and says, have at it. He’ll let her get back to work. She says, it’s a lot of food, and asks if he wants to join her. He says he would, but there’s a knock at the door. It’s Jason, and Alexis tells Neil, it’s Sam’s significant other, so it can’t be good. She lets Jason in, and asks, what’s wrong?
Elizabeth leaves a message for Cameron. She knows he’s upset, but he can’t run off like this. She asks him to call her back right away. Cameron walks in as she’s hanging up. She says she’s not mad about him running out of court, but when he didn’t answer his phone, she worried. He says he turned it off. All kinds of reporters were calling him. She says, her too. Now that he’s home, she can put it on silent. She asks where he was, and he says Trina hauled him to the gym. He took his frustrations out on a punching bag, and the bag won.
Sonny hears someone come into the gym, and says, they’re closed. Scotty says he’s not there to fight. Sonny owes him, and he’s there to collect. Sonny says Cameron was just there, so he guesses the hearing didn’t go the way they wanted. Scotty tells him, he might say that. Sonny is sorry for Scotty, Elizabeth, and her family. Scotty says he doesn’t want sympathy. He wants Sonny to make it right.
Kim’s phone rings, and Franco asks if she’s going to get that. She says she knows who’s calling; Julian. She doesn’t care what he has to say. All that matters is what he thinks. He’s free, and there’s nothing stopping them from getting on a plane, going back to San Diego, and picking up where they left off. Franco says, actually there is.
Franco says he wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with her. She says he scared her. She thought Elizabeth got to him, when she asked him to say goodbye to their family. He doesn’t owe them anything. Not after what they did to him; what they put him through. It’s just him and her. He says, it’s not that simple. They can’t just pick up where they left off. She asks, why not? She thought that’s what he wanted when he came to her apartment. There’s nothing keeping them there. He says he hadn’t processed everything she went through. She had a son – their son. She lost their son less than a year ago, and he doesn’t think you get over something like that in a matter of months, if you do at all. He’s worried that she hasn’t been given the proper time to heal. She says he was ready to go before Elizabeth and Scotty got in the way, and now that he’s overcome that, he’s pumping the brakes. What he heard when she testified about how she drugged Drew, and tried to conceive another child, she can’t begin to explain how she regrets it. She felt horrible. She wasn’t well at the time, but nothing justifies it. She was wrong, but Scotty brought it up to use as a weapon, and make her look bad. He had no way of knowing, unless Julian deliberately told him. Franco says, from what he’s seen, Julian has nothing but her complete well-being at heart. Kim says he’s furious that she chose Drew. He’ll do anything to break them apart, and he’s letting Julian do it. Kim is starting to become a little unhinged.
Julian leaves a message for Kim. He heard about the ruling. Call him.
Kendra goes to the dumpster at Charlies, and takes the remaining supplement container out of her backpack. She flashes back to being at Kiefer’s grave, saying she’ll always miss him, but getting justice for his death will lighten the load. We see her putting something in the supplement, and then she remembers giving it to Alexis at Charlie’s. She puts the container in the dumpster. Julian comes out with some garbage, and asks if he can help her. I’m already done with this storyline.
Jason tells Alexis, sorry to interrupt. Alexis ask Neil to give them a minute, and he goes to the kitchen to get plates. She assumes it’s about Sam, and Jason says Sam decided go with a bench trial. Alexis asks what Diane was thinking.
Peter tells Maxie sorry to keep her waiting. She says she’s tired of being the third wheel with him and his phone. There’s a table waiting upstairs, and she’s taking it. She’s going to enjoy the meal she was hoping to share with him, and then going home to the place she lives with James, which is not where he lives. He made it clear he doesn’t want to live anywhere with them, and she doesn’t want to focus on what he doesn’t want. He says, it’s nothing like that. He’s waiting for news on the hearing so The Invader can get the scoop. The hearing ended an hour ago, and he’s heard nothing. Maybe there’s a dispute. He wonders if Maxie could check with Mac; maybe he knows something. She can’t believe he asked her to do that, and asks if The Invader is in financial trouble, and the story is going to make or break them. She doesn’t understand why he cares if Franco stays being Drew.
Cameron tells Elizabeth, their family has been blown apart, and he can’t help but feel partly responsible. What if he’d run from Shiloh? She says Shiloh literally held him hostage at gun point. None of it is his fault. Blaming himself isn’t going to change anything, and it’s certainly not going to help. No matter what, they’re a family, and nothing is going to change that.
Scotty tells Sonny that he and Elizabeth did what they could legally. They were making headway, but Doc tanked the case. He blew it. Sonny says, so Scotty wants an alternative solution. Scotty says, what they talked about; one father to another. He wants Sonny to step up and save his son. Sonny remembers the conversation, but doesn’t remember making any promises. Scotty says they’re talking about his son. He’s going to leave town, and they’ll never see him again. Sonny needs to do what needs to be done. Grab Franco and put him somewhere until Andre can fix him. Sonny says he’s talking about forcible restraint and assault. Kidnapping. It’s a major felony. Scotty says, like Sonny has never done that before.
Sonny says, what if he does what Scotty is asking? What makes him so sure Andre can bring back his son? Scotty says, it’s Andre’s research, and Andre’s mess. Sonny says what if Franco comes out as a weird combination? and I think of The Fly. Scotty says, it doesn’t matter. His son is gone already. If Sonny was in his place, wouldn’t he do the same?
Elizabeth wraps Cameron’s hand, and tells him to keep it wrapped, then ice it. One more thing… He says she can’t kiss his booboo and make it better, but she says she’s doing it for herself, and kisses the top of his head. The doorbell rings, and Cameron says, it’s probably Scotty. He can’t talk about it anymore. But it’s Bobbie, looking for Scotty. He’s not picking up, and there’s been no word on the hearing. She thought maybe he was there with Franco. Elizabeth says he probably knows why he’s not answering his phone. The hearing… they lost. Bobbie hugs her, and says she’s so sorry.
Peter tells Maxie that he’s not invested in the outcome one way or the other. He didn’t know Drew well, and didn’t know Franco at all. She says, it seems important, and he says he’s been accused of focusing on numbers too much. Maybe now is one of those times. Either way, The Invader wins, as long as he gets the jump on the story. Looking at the phone, he says his reporter got back to him. He looks at Maxie. She asks, what happened? and he says, everything turned out for best in the end.
Jason tells Alexis that Diane presented Sam with options, but Sam chose the bench trial. Alexis says maybe Diane didn’t explain it, but Jason says she did. It was a faster option. The Feds think Sam is a flight risk, and she wants to be home with the kids. Alexis asks if he’s okay with this, but he says he’s not comfortable with Sam putting her future in the hands of one person, but it’s Sam’s choice. Alexis looks at her phone, and says she heard from the court clerk. The judge ruled in Franco’s favor. Jason feels badly for Elizabeth, and says he has to go. Alexis asks him to keep her posted. She has to stay there in case Sam needs her. She closes the door, and looks like she has a headache.
Kendra tells Julian she’s not stealing secrets. She parked nearby, and thought it was a shortcut. Julian asks if steps aren’t a way of life for a personal trainer. She says she prefers life coach, but she has cheat days built into her regimen. He tells her to follow him through the kitchen. We see the container in the dumpster.
Franco says they don’t know how Scotty got the information. Maybe it was Julian, but how it came out isn’t as important as the fact she was grieving. She was grieving, out of control, and not thinking. Kim says he heard her confession. He heard her say she felt terrible. It was the worst mistake of her life, but does she have to pay by losing him? He says he’s not talking about her losing him; he’s talking about what’s best for her. She says, he’s what’s best for her. She’s bordering on hysteria, and says before he showed up she was barely surviving . Then he kissed her, and her heart started beating again. She knows she’s still grieving Oscar’s death, and made a terrible decision, but that doesn’t mean she’s so broken they can’t have a life together. Unless he’s changed his mind. Maybe now that he’s been granted his freedom, he wants to be free of her too.
She starts walk out, and he says he loves her, and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, but the only way is if they do it right; responsibly and slowly. Kim asks what that looks like to him. Staying in Port Charles? Weeks? Months? He says, as long as it takes for her to heal. He’s not in a hurry anymore. He’s not running. They can stop, assess, and stay cool; make a plan. Kim says, okay. She’d made a plan. Her apartment didn’t sell, so she’s leasing it. Should she call it off? What about work? She hasn’t been reinstated, and after what came out, she doesn’t think she will be. And what about him? Is he going to look for a job? Apply to the Navy reserves. She laughs, and says his medical records won’t match what’s on file. Tell her what do, because nothing in this scenario is normal. Um… wouldn’t they have to ask these same questions wherever they went? Franco says, nothing will ever be normal about them. He just wants to take the time to figure it out. He knows that’s not the answer she wants, but the answer she has is that he wants to be with her. She says, just not now. She’s got it. Not until she’s fixed. No pressure. No time table. No promises. She walks out.
Maxie tells Peter that he has to run the story, and he says he already has. In ten minutes, he wants to hear every phone in Port Charles ringing. Maxie congratulates him on getting the scoop. What does the ruling mean? Peter says, Andre can’t tamper with Franco’s brain. He gets to keep what he remembers, and what he doesn’t, stays gone. Franco can make his own decisions and do what he wants, and they can’t impose a risky treatment on him. Maxie says, Elizabeth and the kids are probably devastated. She has unpleasant memories about Franco before the tumor was removed. He wasn’t her favorite person, but he clearly made Elizabeth happy, and now he’s gone, under bizarre circumstances. She’s not close to Scotty, but he’s a dad who just lost his son. She wants Peter to promise that reporters won’t be hounding them for a response. Peter says he’ll make sure they’re off limits. He promises they won’t forget the toll on the families. The whole thing has given him a new found perspective on what’s important. She asks, what’s that? and he says, her and James. He wants them to spend every moment they can together. He doesn’t want just dinner, or taking James to the park. He wants more than a few mornings. He wants every morning. He wants to move forward with their plan to move in together.
Bobbie asks Elizabeth if there’s something she can do. Elizabeth says Bobbie has always been there for her, and Bobbie says Elizabeth is a survivor. She’s come through every challenge, no matter how difficult. She’s stronger than ever, and will make though this. Elizabeth says her boys will get her through, but Scotty should be comforted. Bobbie says she can’t reach him, and Elizabeth says his phone is probably blowing up. Bobbie is sure he’s headed for a bar. She doesn’t blame him; she just has to figure out which one. Elizabeth tells her to give Scotty her love. Bobbie says, she will. She tells Elizabeth, call if she needs anything, or wants to talk. They hug, and Bobbie leaves.
Scotty says Sonny is willing to fly across the world to save his son, but won’t lift a finger for Scotty’s. Franco got Sonny’s wife out of the looney bin, and now he doesn’t exist, but Sonny doesn’t care. Sonny says he didn’t say that. Scotty says, the judge did. No blood, no investigation, no nothing; just legally gone. Sonny tells Scotty, he didn’t say he wouldn’t help him, but Scotty says he didn’t say yes, and walks out.
Cameron opens the door to Jason, and asks why he’s there. Jason asks if he can come in? Cameron guesses he can. Jason says he wanted to talk to Cameron’s mom, but Cameron says he should have called first; she’s resting. Jason says he’s right. He’ll text her. He starts to leave, and Cameron says he’s already there. Give him the message. He might as well. Jason says he knows the judge ruled in Franco’s favor. He wanted to check in on Jake. Cameron says Jake is at their grandma’s, but he doesn’t think Jason should be around when Jake finds out. Elizabeth listens in on the conversation.
Cameron says Jake knows Jason hates Franco. Everybody does. Jason has made it hard, going against Franco. Jason made sure he helped, so Franco didn’t come back. Elizabeth comes out, and says, it’s not Jason’s fault. The deciding factor was Doc’s testimony. He said Franco was competent to make his own choices. Cameron tells her, that’s what Jason said, that Franco could answer the question himself. Jason made the most sense of anyone until Doc got up, and the judge listened to him. Maybe they sounded crazy, and maybe they were, but they loved Franco. Jason just wanted to get rid of him. Elizabeth says, enough, and tells Cameron to go upstairs. She wants to speak to Jason alone. Cameron leaves, and she says he’s angry at the world, not just Jason. Jason gets it, and admires Cameron’s loyalty to his family. He wishes he hadn’t been called to testify. Elizabeth does too.
Bobbie finds Scotty at Charlie’s. Kendra sits at a table, and Julian says Alexis has been raving about her workouts. Does she have any openings? She says she’ll check, and he tells her they don’t have kale smoothies. She orders a Manhattan with three cherries. She doesn’t mess around on her cheat days. Kim comes storming up to Julian, and cracks him hard across the face.
Alexis tells Neil that Sam elected to have a bench trial. It might have sounded good from Sam’s perspective, but not from hers. She’s not Sam’s attorney, but she can’t let it go. Kendra claims it throws off her mind/body balance when she’s being a micromanager, and Alexis can’t argue. Neil says maybe she should rest. A workout shouldn’t leave her light headed. Alexis says her body needs to adjust.
Maxie tells Peter, she’s getting a weird déjà vu. She was under the impression he was having second thoughts. That’s why he passed on the apartment. Peter confesses he’s superstitious about a good thing. He’s afraid to ask for more, or he might lose everything. Maxie tells him that he’s just as deserving of a good life as anyone else. Their phones ring, and they both look. Peter smiles, and looks at The Invader headline: Judge to Franco: You’re Drew.
Franco walks into the gym. He asks if he knows Sonny. Sonny says, no, but he knows Franco.
Maxie asks Peter, what made him decide? He says, her. She changed everything for him. Her love, compassion, and faith; she believed in him, and challenged him. She changed his life. He never believed in life before; it was unimaginable. Now there’s a real future, with her, him, and James. Maxie says what made him believe this now? and he says they were talking about Franco, and everything Elizabeth lost. It made him realize how much he could lose if he lets the past overshadow the present. He doesn’t want the past to interfere. From this day forward, it stays where it belongs – in the past. They kiss.
Elizabeth tells Jason, Cameron is mad at the world, but that doesn’t mean he’s wrong. Jake loves Franco, and it’s going to be a huge heartbreak. Jason says he doesn’t want to make it worse for Jake or her. Whatever she wants him to do, he will. She thinks it’s best if he stays away, and lets Jake find out from them. Let them deal with their grief as a family.
Kim tells Julian, how dare he? He tells Kendra, excuse them, and tells Kim, calm down. She says, after his betrayal? Scotty’s shameful secret weapon he used against her. How could Julian be that resentful? She’ll never forgive him for using it against her. He tells her vent and rant all she wants. Hate him, but he didn’t do it to hurt her. He wants her to get the help she needs.
Scotty tells Bobbie, he thought he could win, and Bobbie says, maybe something he said resonated with Franco, and he’ll change his mind. Scotty says, maybe. The court failed him, and he did something. He never thought he’d be so desperate, but he went to her son-in-law. She says, Sonny? and he says he begged Sonny, and does she know what Sonny did? Turned his back on him.
Franco tells Sonny, it’s been a helluva day. He was looking to hit the bag. Sonny says he’s not dressed for it, and they’re closed, but he has a few minutes. Franco takes his jacket, shirt and tie off, and hangs them over the ring ropes. Sonny says from what he hears, the day didn’t go like everyone wanted it to. Welcome to Port Charles. He asks if Franco needs a spotter, and wraps Franco’s hands. Franco says he’s generous. Is he always that way? Sonny says, only to friends, and Franco asks if they’re friends. Sonny says Franco has the memories of somebody who meant a lot to him, and the face of someone he never wants to see again. Franco says, it must be tricky for him. He says imagine his reaction when Franco’s father came in and asked for his help.
Peter tells Maxie, let’s go upstairs for dinner, but she says, why wait to call Lucy?
Scotty says he doesn’t know what he was thinking, but Bobbie says she does. He did what he thought he had to for his son. He says his son needed him to win. It was the only way to get him back. Bobbie knows he’s resourceful, and he’ll come up with something. He’s not giving up on Franco any more than Lee and Gail gave up on him. He says he doesn’t see a way out, but she says he’ll come up with one.
Julian tells Kim that she’s trying to reclaim something that’s over. She’s pinning her hopes on someone who’s not real. She says he went behind her back, and the details of her life were broadcast to people who care nothing about her. Julian says he thought by Franco getting help, it would free her up to get the help she needs. She says they won in spite of it. Now they can get back to their lives. All he did was destroy any part of her that still cared about him. She stomps out.
Sonny tells Franco that he didn’t say he’d help, but he owes Franco one. If he needs help, let him know. Franco likes that Sonny is being straight with him. People have been telling him what he wants, but it’s really what they want. Sonny asks what he wants, and Franco says, right now, he wants to hit something. Sonny gets on the other side of the bag, and says, go for it. Franco begins to hit the bag.
Elizabeth knows if Jason pretends, it won’t help Jake. Emotional dishonesty resonates, and in the end, it destroys trust. He’s always been truthful with Jake. He says he’s sorry, and she says, everyone is sorry, except for Kim. She’s probably thrilled. Elizabeth says she probably shouldn’t be as angry as she is. Kim is still grieving, and not thinking, but she got what she wanted. Elizabeth still has to get through tonight, and the nights after that. She doesn’t know how to do that.
Neil tells Alexis to drink water if she’s working out, and Alexis says she does. She doesn’t feel good, and asks if they can do it another night. He says, if he may be so bold, she should skip the research, and go straight to bed. She says, deal, and Neil says to tell her life coach to dial it back a notch. Get some rest. He leaves, and she practically falls asleep before she closes the door. She goes upstairs. On the coffee table, her phone lights up. It’s Kendra calling.
Kendra is back in the alley, and leaves Alexis a message, saying it was a good session. It will be even better next time. She looks forward to it. She looks at the dumpster, and we see the container again. I can’t believe this is how they ended today. Pfft!
Tomorrow, Josslyn tells Carly that she thinks she’s lost it, Alexis won’t wake up, Valentin wants to know why Laura is obsessed with Helena’s portrait, and Hayden asks if Finn wants to be part of Violet’s life.
The Real Housewives of Orange County
Vicki is in the car with Tamra, and asks where they’re going. Tamra says, a costume shop where Shannon wants to go, but Shannon is going to be late. In Tamra’s interview, she says she’s wanted to have a tea party, so why not for Vicki’s birthday? She thought it would be fun if they dressed up. Queen Victoria; Vicki thinks she’s the queen of everything. She tells Vicki that a friend of hers sent her a picture of Gina and Matt making out in a bar. Vicki says, they still love each other, and Tamra says, he’s a cheater. Vicki says she obviously wants to take him back, but Tamra says, Gina told her the opposite. She told Gina, don’t drink. In her interview, Tamra says, Gina was finally in a place where she was moving on, and this is going to set her back.
Braunwyn tells Sean that she’s finally found a gluten-free, nut-free, vegan recipe. In her interview, she says she has to make three or four dinners every night. It’s impossible. She wonders when Bella is getting back from Florida. She’s in Miami and each child is a part of her heart. When one leaves, her heart is a little empty. At the dinner table, they talk about the college admissions scandal, and Sean says those parents aren’t letting their kids fail. Rowan talks about working on applications for NYC colleges. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says the last time Rowan was in NYC, her eating issues kicked into high gear. Rowan has a dream, and it’s her role to support that dream, no matter what. Braunwyn asks if Rowan isn’t worried she’ll miss them, and Braunwyn says she will, but she’s going to have fun. Braunwyn says they might get old, but they’ll never be boring. Rowan says, like Mama Deb, aka Betsey Johnson’s evil twin.
Tamra and Vicki go to the Gasoline Alley costume shop. Tamra explains what they’re looking for to the clerk. In her interview, Vicki says she’s going to be queen for day, and her girlfriends are going to bow down to her. Tamra says they want to get the good stuff before the others get there. In Tamra’s interview, she says she loves having parties with Vicki, and we flash back to some of them. She says the best party ever was the 80s bunko party, and we flash back to Vicki screaming at Gretchen. Vicki knows how to party. Shannon arrives, coming in screeching. Probably something about the Tres Amigas. They all hug. Shannon says it’s her favorite store. In her interview, she says, if there’s a theme, and she can be dressed up to the point of almost obnoxious, she’s in. Tamra tells Shannon about her girlfriend sending her the picture. She said Gina and Matt were all over each other. Tamra shuts up just in time, because Gina comes in the door, apologizing for being late. Shannon suggests a Mad Hatter look for her, and Gina is good with that. Tamra says, you, and Gina insists nothing happened. Tamra says, no alcohol and no touching. They were wasted and making out. Gina asks, who said? and Vicki says, they have photos. Tamra says a good friend was sitting right across from them. In Gina’s interview, she says it’s such a small town, she can’t even make out with her own damn husband without getting caught. They should have gotten take-out. Gina says, it was a setback, but Shannon says, it’s not. If Gina is trying to repair her family, great, but it brings up lot for her. That didn’t work with her marriage. Gina thinks she and Matt are good together, but she can’t trust him. Shannon says it didn’t work with her, and in her interview, Gina says, all roads lead back to Shannon. Vicki says it’s not about them; it’s about her. She wants to be called Queen Victoria.
During the commercial break, there’s a very cool ad for the new Terminator movie, where Tamra and Shannon are incorporated into a scene with Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton). It actually works well.
Gina brings daughter Sienna to therapist Julie, who tells Sienna that she’s playing with her today. In Gina’s interview, she says, Sienna has regressed in school. Her teacher isn’t confident that she’ll be where she needs to be when she goes to kindergarten. Good Lord, it’s competitive before you even get to kindergarten now. She tells Sienna that Sienna has always had coordination issues, and would just fall over. Sienna explains that the sensory integration processes how the body receives information from the environment. It affects attention span, emotional concentration, listening, and following directions. Something like the tag on her shirt could be distracting. She tells Gina that sensory integration therapy will help. Gina is in the right place, doing the right thing. In her interview, Gina thinks Sienna feels a little neglected in transition. Matt not being around effected all the kids. We flash back to the kids being obnoxious. Julie tells Sienna to follow the pen with only her eyes, and even I see she looks away for a second in the middle of the exercise. Julie does various other sensory exercises, and in Gina’s interview, she says it feels like it’s her fault. Like she did something wrong; like she failed to see something. Julie recommends therapy, saying Sienna will benefit greatly from it. In her interview, Gina says there’s a lot going on at home. It’s one of the reasons she feels like she should be trying to get Matt back. Things are slipping, and she’s not enough for everybody. Things are hard. Sienna has some real playtime, and Gina says. she’s no stranger to fun.
While she’s getting her makeup done, Tamra says, Vicki is going to die when she sees the wig. She FaceTimes with Kelly, and tells Kelly that she doesn’t want to miss this, but Kelly says she’s on her way to L.A. to take back some dresses. She asks if they’re dressing up in hats and stuff. She says, sorry, but she’s not celebrating Vicki’s birthday. The only celebration she’s having with Vicki is going to her funeral. Tamra tells her, just pretend, but Kelly says she has no time. She thanks Tamra for the invitation. In her interview, Kelly says just because she can move forward with Vicki, doesn’t mean she’s getting Vicki a birthday gift or they’re going to be best friends. Hell no. Tamra googles Queen Victoria.
Vicki comes in, and asks where her princesses are. Tamra tells the makeup people that she doesn’t want Vicki to look ugly, but wants her to look the part. Tamra says she’s been awaiting Vicki’s arrival, and shows Vicki her dress. Shannon comes in next, and asks if Tamra has her curtsey down. Tamra tells Shannon that the makeup people are making Vicki up, but not letting her see. She shows Shannon a picture, and they both nearly wet their pants laughing. In Shannon’s interview, she says Vicki has to look like Marie Antoinette, since there’s a cake in that wig. Let them eat cake. Off with her head. She asks if Marie Antoinette said that, and the producer says he thinks that’s the Queen of Hearts. Yep. And she didn’t exactly say, let them eat cake, either.
Shannon doesn’t understand. Kelly and Vicki sat next each other at the last dinner. Tamra says Kelly told her that she’s not ready celebrate, even though Tamra told her to go anyway. In Shannon’s interview, she says these are the things that frustrate her; the one step forward, and three steps back. She doesn’t get it. Vicki asks why they look elegant. Shannon says Vicki has this wig, and it’s everything.
Gina is the first to arrive at the tea party, and says when she and Tamra scouted the venue, she thought it was all pinkies up. She never thought she’d show up looking like a hooker Mad Hatter. She’s wearing a purple wig and something that looks like Steampunk, but in bright colors. She says she’ll still put her pinky up. Emily joins her, saying she didn’t recognize Gina. In Emily’s interview, she says, Gina reminds her of Pretty Woman. Gina asks if she looks like a stripper, and Emily says, a little. Like a hot tea party stripper. In her interview, Emily says she’s confused by the costume. Are there other prostitutes coming? Braunwyn is next, and says she’s underdressed. Emily isn’t wearing a costume either, and says she didn’t get the memo. The waiter takes their drink orders, and Braunwyn says she can’t drink wine or champagne; she’s allergic, and it makes her puffy. She says she’ll stick to tea, and asks for coconut milk with that. In Gina’s interview, she says, Braunwyn has pain-in-the-ass-itis. Common in Orange County. There’s no known cure. Gina says she went out with Dr. Hottie, but she’s in a place where she doesn’t know what do. She went out to dinner with Matt, and may have slept with him. Don’t make her feel bad. In Emily’s interview, she says, Gina took a step back. She was just in the position to control her own life. When sex becomes involved, it becomes a mess. Emily says Gina was never good on it being a clear break. Braunwyn says, good for her, making bad choices. Gina says, it’s the year of bad choices, and Braunwyn says it makes her feel less alone. Shannon calls Gina, who says she’s missing high tea. Shannon tells her to bring everyone to the parking lot, and Gina tells them, they’re being summoned.
In costume, Vicki, Tamra, and Shannon ride in a Cinderella type carriage, drawn by horses. They’ve decided the queen drinks shots of tequila. Emily wonders if she should go home and put a ball gown on. In her interview, Vicki says being queen has always been her thing. She likes being bowed down to, so it’s definitely her role. Shannon and Tamra unroll a red carpet, and announce the royal Queen Victoria. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says, Queen Victoria was austere. Vicki is Marie Antoinette. She has a birdhouse on her head. Shannon says, pinkies up, and Braunwyn thanks her for the invite. Vicki says She was almost off the list. Shannon asks when they last saw each other, and Braunwyn says, the fashion show. Emily asks how that went, and Braunwyn tells her about Kathy whacking Kelly with the microphone. Emily says Kelly told her that she called the woman ugly, and Shannon says, you can’t say things like that. We flash back to that, and Braunwyn says she thinks Kelly meant the woman’s personality. How Kelly reigned it back, she thanked Kelly afterward. In her interview, Braunwyn says people say this or that about Kelly, but she’s going on her own judgement. Tamra tells them that Kelly got in a bar fight.
Tamra says Kelly was fighting with a girl, went to the bathroom, and came back to find the girl with her arm around Brian. She grabbed the girl’s hand, and now the girl is saying Kelly fractured it. Braunwyn says Brian and Kelly got in a fight at a bar, but separated for the night, then got back together. As Braunwyn talks, Shannon and Tamra leave to use the bathroom. In her interview, Braunwyn says she feels like she needs to defend Kelly in these situations. The girls like to take little tidbits, and blow them up. Tamra tells Shannon that she’s not going to sit there, while they’re bashing Kelly. I’m confused. I don’t think there was any real bashing here, but it was Tamra who brought Kelly up, and Shannon who criticized her behavior. Tamra says if she wanted to be a bitch, she’d tell Vicki that Kelly wanted to celebrate her death. Shannon says you should never wish someone dead; that’s karma. She loves Kelly, but she’s not loving her when she hears this sh*t. She’s not happy with Kelly right now. Tamra brings Kelly up on FaceTime, and shows Kelly their costumes. She thinks Kelly should come, but Kelly thinks she’s sick and might have strep throat. In Tamra’s interview, she says she thought Kelly was in L.A. Braunwyn pretends she has to go to the bathroom so she can see what’s going on. Vicki wonders where everyone went. In her interview, Emily says, Vicki can sure clear a room. Emily doesn’t leave a birthday party, explaining if you do, you might miss the cake. Tamra says she’s not comfortable talking about Kelly when she’s not at the table. Kelly says, sorry, but she’s not coming. Vicki asks what’s going on, and in her interview, says she wanted the day to be about her. Shannon curtseys, and says, her apologies, addressing Vicki as Queen Victoria. Vicki says, it’s not ladylike.
The waiter serves a traditional tea plate, with tiny sandwiches. Gina takes a call about her daughter, and when she gets back to the table, explains that she thinks Sienna’s motor skills are behind. Braunwyn says, as long as Gina is on it, she should be fine. She asks if Gina does public school, but Gina says they’re not in school yet. Braunwyn says, public schools really have your back. In Gina’s interview, she says it’s a scary moment, and she finds Braunwyn’s comment insensitive. I’m lost as to why. Gina tells Braunwyn she’s kind of a snob, and Braunwyn says, that’s mean. Gina tells her, the bottom line is, she doesn’t care about schools, and Braunwyn sounds like an a-hole. She’s done with it. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says Gina is being mean, and she doesn’t know why. She’s not sure why Gina is attacking her. She listened to Gina go on about her divorce, and gave her advice about her kids. Braunwyn tells Gina, all she meant is that public schools had back more than private schools. Gina says if she won the lottery, she’d get the best private school. Vicki says, it’s a charter school. Shannon asks if you don’t have to audition, and Vicki asks if Braunwyn didn’t contribute to the school, if her kids would be going. Braunwyn says, the kids like the school, and so do they, and that’s why she contributes. She starts to tear up, and says, she likes supporting the arts. She was only trying to give an homage to public schools, since they were very supportive. Gina says she’s not dealing with crying, and Tamra says, it’s the way Braunwyn said it. Braunwyn says, sorry she doesn’t want to drink directly out of a bottle. This was something earlier in this bizarre argument, and I didn’t think it would be important. Gina says, it’s not about that. She’s not talking about Braunwyn’s kids. It’s not about her. If she wins the lottery, it won’t be about her. Braunwyn says, pinkies up. Shannon says, happy birthday, Queen Victoria. My vote is in. Gina is effing annoying.
Braunwyn leaves the table. Gina says she is the Mad Hatter. She’s sorry. It was too much. Everything goes back to Braunwyn. She feels terrible, but she’s opened up more to them than anyone, and needs support. When kids have problems, being poor is better. That’s how she took it. Oh, okay. It just went from me not understanding to thinking this is stupid. I do get Gina’s annoyance at Braunwyn making it about herself, although I do think she’s just trying to be helpful. I don’t think she’s being elitist. That’s Shep Rose’s department. In Emily’s interview, she says she’s trying to think of something Braunwyn can say, but whatever she says, Gina is going to be annoyed. She’s been annoyed by Braunwyn’s pretentiousness for a long time. We flash back to Braunwyn calling Gina their little sister, and laughing like a dolphin. Emily says, it doesn’t matter what Braunwyn does or says, Gina is at maximum Braunwyn capacity. Braunwyn could tell Gina that she’s pretty, and Gina will jump across the table and bite her head off. Vicki wonders why she can’t have a nice birthday lunch.
Shannon asks Braunwyn, what’s going on? Braunwyn tells Shannon, maybe she said too much, and maybe shared more than she should have. In Shannon’s interview, she thinks it’s a complete misunderstanding. Braunwyn tried to offer helpful advice, but it’s not coming across that way. She tells Braunwyn that they’re both open, but Gina never talks. When she finally speaks about important stuff, it’s new to her. In her interview, Shannon says a little mistake can set someone off when they’re going through stress. We flash back to Shannon getting loud over nothing when she was going through her divorce. She says, that’s where Gina is today. She suggests Braunwyn tell Gina that she admires her for being open and honest, since she struggles with that, and she’s sorry she spoke about herself. Braunwyn goes back to the table, and apologizes for taking away from Gina’s moment. Gina says she wasn’t having a moment, and Braunwyn says when kids are involved, she feels the need to chime in. Gina says getting to a place where she can open up is hard for her. Braunwyn doesn’t know what it’s like for her when she does finally talk. She feels that if people don’t tiptoe around her, it will set her off. Any commentary is not okay. It’s not necessarily Braunwyn’s fault, but it’s not working for her. It’s a lot for her. Which I guess is a long way of saying, she’s overly sensitive at this time. Braunwyn says she doesn’t mind being called out, but that’s not the way she meant it. Maybe she is a snobby bitch, but her comment wasn’t. Gina says it hit her wrong. Braunwyn says, pinkies up, and Vicki says, happy birthday to her. Gina takes her wig off, and Vicki does too. I forgot to mention, that wig is everything. It’s a giant white confection with flowers of different sizes, placed in a random pattern. The cake comes; a traditional layer cake, covered in flowers in all colors. They sing, Vicki blows kisses, and Tamra films. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says she doesn’t drink wine, champagne, or dairy. She’s not going to mention that she doesn’t eat cake. It might send Gina over the edge. Tamra tries to feed Vicki while she’s on the phone, and Vicki ends up with cake all over her face. The entire restaurant is watching by now. Vicki says, it’s embarrassing, then asks if anyone wants to lick her face.
Kelly is coughing. Jolie tells her, Braunwyn called. Kelly tells her, Tamra and Shannon said the girls were talking bad about her. In Kelly’s interview, she says, once again, the girls are talking about her. Shocking. Don’t they have anything else to talk about, like solving world problems? She calls Braunwyn back, and asks what they’re saying bad about her this time. Braunwyn says they didn’t say anything bad, but they were talking about Kelly and Brian’s fight. She told them it was no big deal. She missed Kelly being there. Kelly says, sorry. She didn’t want to go. Why would she celebrate Vicki’s birthday?
Shannon holds a parasol over Vicki as they walk to the car. She says, Queen Victoria. She’s royalty through and through, and Shannon will never think of her otherwise. Vicki gets in, covered with cake. Ugh. I hate things like food fights, or couples who smush cake on each other’s faces at receptions. Vicki tells Tamra, thanks a lot, and Tamra says she wanted to change the end of the party. Shannon asks if Tamra think Kelly is really sick, and Tamra says Kelly told her that she was on her way to L.A., when she said she’d rather go to Vicki’s funeral. Oops. This is exactly why I can’t stand Tamra. That was no oops. Vicki says, who talks like that? Keep Kelly away from her. Oh come on, they know Kelly uses a nasty mouth as a defense. Vicki says Kelly’s not welcome at her funeral.
Kelly tells Brian, the women were talking about their fight. Brian asks what they were saying, and Kelly tells him, they were fighting, broke up, and got back together; it was on Instagram. It’s not true. They laugh, and Brian says they’re not the first couple to break up and get back together. It happens. Kelly’s emotions run deep. She loves deeply, and when she’s angry, she feels it deeply. There’s nothing in between. That’s who she is.
Shannon says someone needs to teach Kelly what’s funny, and what’s not. Tamra says sorry Vicki heard that. Vicki says she’s never heard anyone talk like Kelly does. Kelly has called her a pig, and called Steve a POS. Shannon says Vicki has said plenty too, but Vicki says she didn’t talk about Kelly’s looks, or her family, or that Kelly pushed her mother down the stairs; now she is. Actually, I think she has before. Tamra says Kelly pushed her mom down the stairs. Vicki says, it’s already out. Vicki says she keeps allowing it to happen, and Kelly’s not going to change. Shannon suggests she sit down with Vicki and Kelly. Tamra says, you can take the girl out of the hood, but you can’t take the hood out of the girl. Does Tamra even know what a hood is? Or if Kelly is from one?
Next time, paddle boarding, Gina tells her therapist that she slept with her husband. Emily thinks she and Shane should go back to therapy, and Braunwyn says Tamra is manipulating them so they fight among themselves.
🎃 So Martin Isn’t the Real Colonel After All…
Halloween soap style.
🍰 Let Them Eat What…?
The real story.
🌕 Pioneer Werewolf…
Not the best cut of the scene (you have to sign in to see it uncut and in HD), but the first of its kind. And not a bad song neither.