Category Archives: New Year

January 1, 2018 – A Vanderpump Mini-cap & a Little Shep

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Although today was a holiday, Bravo decided not to take the night off. Andy Cohen is still on his endless vacation, but Lisa Vanderpump and Shep Rose were still at work, and had new episodes tonight. I rode the fence by watching, and making a CliffsNotes version of the usual post. Not nearly as annoyingly detailed, but possibly still rambling. It’s going to be another week of not knowing what day it is.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom and Schwartz met with Ken and Lisa about the new restaurant, TomTom. Having partied with Jax the night before, the Toms prepped by listening to Eminem’s Lose Yourself multiple times. The meeting was at Villa Rosa, so, Giggy! Harrison! Lisa hadn’t been too thrilled with Tom’s negativity, and was thisclose to severing ties. She finally relented, with the guys kicking in $50K each for 5% ownership each, considerably less than Lisa’s original request of $120K for 10%. In her interview, Lisa said she just pulled the figure out of her “English ass,” but it was highly unlikely that they could get the restaurant off the ground for $1.2 million.

Jax came home while the girls were still there, griping that it was his house. He started in with the I-pay-for-everything crap, and Brittany lost her cool, smacking him around and telling him to get out. He refused to budge, then tried to deflect the blame, saying it was the fault of Brittany’s girlfriends, who filled her head with nonsense. This went over about as well as you’d think it would.

Lala started her return on the right foot by telling Scheana and Ariana that Schwartz made out with one of her friends when he was drunk – after he was married to Katie. The friend said he kept calling her “Bubba,” which is their pet name for each other, so who knows? Maybe he thought she was Katie. Claiming that she had intended to keep it to herself, Lala made this announcement in retaliation for Katie saying her boyfriend is married. During a private conversation. With big mouth Scheana present. Lala declared Katie no longer safe, because Katie “messed with her relationship.” Funny though, I could have sworn Lala said he was separated on Watch What Happens Live. Regardless, it seemed like an overreaction. Katie had actually apologized afterwards, but Scheana left that part out. Of course, nothing is private with this group, so Katie took her chances. Lala immediately reverted back to her creepy, insecure ways by hoping Katie’s marriage came to an end over this.

Stassi planned LVP’s partner Guillermo’s birthday party at SUR, and Lisa seemed pleased with the results. Stassi had the guests take Polaroid selfies and put them in a scrapbook for the birthday boy, which is an idea I love. Ariana called Schwartz out about Lala’s friend in private during the party, and he claimed not to remember. Déjà vu, anyone? No surprise, the news traveled fast, and Schwartz said, I have no recollection, more times than I could count, and compared himself to a werewolf. Lisa was like, wtf? and told us she’s taking it personally, since she was their officiant. Katie was wearing amazing gigantic black and gold earrings, and it was like the battle of the earrings when she was talking to Lisa, who had humongous gold and gemstone danglers hanging from her ears. It kept diverting my attention.

At another bar, Jax and James got drunk on absinthe, which James described tasting like a little green fairy that goes down your throat and rips your balls off. That really doesn’t sound like much fun to me. Next time, Katie lays down the law to Schwartz.

👱  RelationShep continues to be a fun watch. Andy Cohen referred to Shep as a human Golden Retriever, and I think that’s pretty accurate. He’s goodhearted and pleasant, and has better manners than the Golden I had. The girls seem nice enough, but now they’ve been shoved together in a house, which doesn’t always bring out the best in people. Tonight, after “over-drinking,” houseguest Peyton grumbled to Shep, wondering what he could possibly see in someone fresh out of college, referring to Kylie, who is twenty-two. To be fair, Shep had asked Peyton how it was going, and she started by telling him it was an awkward dating situation. She ended up walking out (of the conversation, not the house), and Shep considered this a “public confrontation.” I guess it is where he comes from, but I would have considered it more like cross words in the kitchen. Shep and Cameran (Southern Charm) met for lunch, and she told him it could be a signal that Peyton is needy. I’d like to know how Cameran would have felt if she had to live with several women vying for her man. Arden realized that, although Shep is a nice guy, there was no connection, and packed her bags. Summer showed up uninvited, and Shep felt the only right decision would be to put her up in a hotel. When she arrived, complete with her French bulldog, and was told she couldn’t stay there, she did not seem too happy about it. I would have let the dog stay. Many of the Southern Charmers have made appearances, since the house is in Charleston. Unlike The Bachelor, the next step is for the final four to live in separate dwellings, which at least alleviates some of the pressure. It seems Shep feels it as well, knowing that, like dogs with bones, the girls are keeping an eye on him and noting how much time he spends with each. I’ve always had multiple pets, and there have been a few I would swear mentally logged how much attention I paid to the other ones. These contestants/houseguests/potential girlfriends are kind of like that.

🎉 Hope your New Year’s Eve was everything you wanted, and nothing you didn’t.

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Casey in New Year’s Eve Formalwear

 

 

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December 29, 2017 – Yes They Kiss, This, That, Some Dogs, a Shower & a Cornucopia of Quotes for the New Year

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Anna tells Robert that Cassandra was on Spoon Island. She asks him to let her know when Cassandra is in custody. She loves it when a plan comes together. Finn asks if she just quoted The A Team. He guesses he should start packing. He and Roxie can now move around the cabin. Anna tells him that he was never her prisoner, and Roxie can stay as long as she wants, but he says they’re a package deal. He asks if she’s glad to get rid of him, but she says Cassandra isn’t in custody yet. Maybe he should stick around.

Valentin asks Cassandra if this is necessary. Cassandra tells Valentin that he’s lucky she brought him there, instead of leaving his body for his Amazon wife to stumble over. She reminds me of Natasha in the Bullwinkle cartoons, but toned down a hundred notches.

Nina texts Valentin yet again. She wonders why he’s not there for their anniversary.

Dante asks Lulu what the next big story is, but she hesitates to answer the question.

Carly and Sonny make out at the bar. He asks where Jason is, but she says she doesn’t know. Sonny says he tried talking him out of going to Russia to look for Faison, but wonders if he found an earlier flight to St. Petersburg.

Drew looks for Monica at the hospital, but Kim says he missed her. He was hoping for a ride. His car won’t start, and he needs to meet Sam. It’s an hour wait for a cab, and Kim asks where they’re supposed to meet. He tells her the Haunted Star.

Sam asks what Jason is doing there. He says he’s supposed to meet Sonny, but she tells him that she and Drew rented the boat for the evening. He realizes they’re moving, and asks if Drew is driving. Sam says no; Drew’s not there yet. It’s on autopilot, and they have to stop it.

As Anna putters around to make a New Year’s Eve spread, Finn says there’s no reason to stay while she and the WSB take down Cassandra. She says any minute now, but you don’t pronounce the patient cured until the tests come back from the lab. She tells him to do what he wants, and he asks if she wants him to leave. She calls him impossible, and he says she’s deflecting and not facing her feelings. She says what she feels is satisfaction; Cassandra is going to be put away for a long time. She would feel ecstatic if Finn could acknowledge her success. He says if it wasn’t for him, she’d still be eating croissants in Monaco. She tells him he’s grown a huge ego. He says if he’s reading it correctly, she’s asking him to leave.

Cassandra tells Valentin that life with a wife and child hasn’t just made him soft; it’s made him stupid. He betrayed her in the most obvious way. She’s surprised he doesn’t realize his mistake. When he knocked the phone out of her hand, Eric discovered the bug. Cassandra doesn’t realize the obvious. If Valentin had planted that bug, he never would have knocked the phone out of her hand.

Nina calls Valentin, and gets voicemail. She wonders why he isn’t there yet.

Lulu tells Dante that she wants something bigger than the Lomax story. She and Peter kicked around some ideas. He asks what they settled on, and they see Nina frantically talking. She tells them that Valentin is late, and not answering his cell or the house phone. Lulu asks if she thinks there’s something wrong with Charlotte. Nina says the babysitter isn’t picking up either. She doesn’t know what to think.

Carly tells Sonny that Jason is more than capable of taking care of himself. Sonny asks what she did. Did she do what she always does, stepping in? Carly says it’s what Sonny wants. Didn’t he just try to convince Jason that Sam was the one for him? Sonny says he got nowhere, and so will she. Whatever she was planning, is not going to work.

Kim gives Drew a ride. He tries to call Sam, but says the reception on the boat is sketchy. Kim asks if there’s someone else he can call, and he explains that there is no one else. He rented the boat, so they could have it to themselves. He tells her that there’s no captain, because it’s on autopilot, and Kim is amused about the technology.

Sam tells Jason the autopilot did what it was supposed to, and pulled away from the pier. Now they’re adrift because they shut it off, and when they did that, it also cut the engine. They shut it off, and the wrong people are on board. She says she should have known how the emergency shut-off works. Sam starts to babble about how the boat should have an analog control system, and says they’re going to be stuck for a few hours. She tries to call Drew, but there’s no service.

Jason tells Sam, sorry. She says it’s not his fault, but thanks him for not saying, I told you so. He thinks this is happening because of him. Carly told him to meet Sonny there. Sam says she was at Aurora and heard their plans, since Lulu announced them, and she must have found a way to delay Drew. Jason says she took things too far, and he needs to talk to her. Sam says there’s nothing he can say or do to change her mind. Carly isn’t trying to convince him, but her. Carly wanted to put them alone together to try and change her mind.

Carly tells Sonny to wait and see, and let nature take its course. He wonders when has she ever done that? She says whatever is going to happen, will happen, and it’s out of their hands. Sonny says Jason is with Sam because of her.

Nina gets ahold of the babysitter. Charlotte is fine, and Valentin left a while ago. She says he should be there soon. Lulu wonders why she’s worried, and Nina says he’s probably picking up gift. It’s their one-year anniversary. Lulu says it’s been one year since they teamed up to keep Charlotte from her mother. Lulu is too old to be such a brat, and I’m really starting to dislike her. Dante asks what’s going on, and Lulu says Valentin is up to something, and Nina is covering it up. I hope her career bombs. Making wild assumptions is not what a good journalist does.

Valentin tells Cassandra not to blame him for her carelessness. She hired him because he was the best. If he was going to bug her phone, she’d have never known it. Cassandra says he lies like breathing, and needs some incentive to tell the truth. She tells Eric to beat the truth out of him.

Finn accuses Anna of practically pushing him out the door. She says just because she pointed out his massive ego, he doesn’t need to go out in the cold. She tells him they could celebrate the new year together, or he could act like an adolescent who can’t wrangle a date with his crush, and leave. She’s proved he’s terrified. Finn says if he’s terrified, she’s petrified. She can’t admit she wants him to stay. She asks if he wants to stay, and he says he’d love to.

Jason calls the harbor master, but they’re not a priority. It will be at least three hours before a tow comes, but they can figure out something in the meantime. He looks behind the bar, and brings out a set of dominoes. He challenges her to a game. She asks if the rules are the same. He says whoever loses a round, takes a shot of tequila. Sam tells him that he’s on.

Anna tells Finn that she has champagne for her, cider, and several kinds of sparkling water. She also makes a killer grilled cheese. He can’t think of better way to ring in the new year.

Cassandra’s phone rings (when did she have time to get another one?). She tells Eric to take a break, and answer the phone. Cassandra wonders if Valentin was planning on taking over himself, but he says he never wanted anything to do with her organization. He wanted to be left alone with his wife and daughter. He tells her it’s their one-year anniversary, and Cassandra says he takes new beginnings literally. Valentin says Nina asked him spontaneously. She wanted to strengthen his position in his custody case, and risked everything for him. Cassandra says he makes it sound idyllic. Valentin says, not idyllic, but real. As long as Nina and Charlotte are by his side, the rest of the world can burn. Cassandra realizes he really means it. He says she knows he didn’t do this, and she’s wasting her time. She needs to find the leak in her organization. Eric comes back, and Cassandra tells him to let Valentin go. Eric says that the authorities just seized her factory.

Dante asks if Nina has reason to believe Valentin is involved in something criminal. Lulu says it’s not like he hasn’t killed anyone – like her brother. Please. Give it a rest. Nina says she’ll find him herself.

Carly goes off to play hostess. Sonny tells Dante and Lulu that he got thank you cards from the kids. Lulu says it was Charlotte’s idea. She told the kids that you always send a thank you when you get a gift. They talk about the kids, and Lulu says it’s amazing that Sonny is willing to drop everything for his family. A huge question mark hangs over my head, since not long ago, Sonny gave up trying to get out of the business for them. She tells Sonny that with Dante, sometimes work gets in the way. Dante says he’s looking for Faison, and asks if Sonny is looking too. Sonny asks if he’s had any success, and Dante says he was going to ask the same thing.

Kim and Drew are stuck in traffic. She says it looks like everyone is trying to get somewhere before midnight. He tells her, sorry, and she asks him to get her glasses from the glovebox. He wonders if she needs glasses, why she’s not wearing them now, but she says it’s only when her eyes are tired at night. Me too. Drew gives her the glasses, and sees a CD marked 2003. He asks if it’s the one that she gave him. She asks if he listened to it, and if it triggered any memories.

Sam says it’s only her first shot, but Jason has already had two. He tells her she’s gotten good at the game, and she tells him that she and Drew play sometimes. She doubts this is what Carly had in mind. She was Carly’s least favorite person, and now she’s the only one who can make Jason happy. Jason says Carly feels bad because she pushed Sam to Drew when she thought it was him. Sam says nobody pushed her. She’s not with him because of Carly, but because she loves him. A lot has changed; she changed. Jason says it wasn’t five years for him. He woke up at the clinic, and had no idea how much time had passed. All he could think about was coming home, but he’s glad she didn’t wait, and went on and lived life. She has Drew, Danny, and Emily Scout. He missed her, but can’t miss the life they didn’t have. As long as she’s happy, he’s good.

Cassandra says someone located the factory by using the bug; her operation is completely lost. Valentin says she got played, and had better get out of the country, and live to fight another day. She wonders if it wasn’t him, who did it? She was always so careful. The lightbulb comes on, and she says, Finn. Valentin asks how he would know how to do something like that, and Cassandra says his girlfriend would. She knew Anna had ties to the WSB, but since Anna didn’t try to hide her identity, she assumed Anna wouldn’t go after her business. She says Finn played her perfectly. Valentin tells her to leave him out of it, but she says she has to take care of Finn, then him. His marriage won’t see the new year; what a shame. She leaves with Eric, and Valentin struggles against his bonds. I totally get why she wants to go after Finn, but what did Valentin do? Or is he just a reminder that she’s stupid?

Anna and Finn toast to a happy new year, and better days. Finn says the water was a good year. He suddenly tells Anna that he has to go. He just needs to go out for a while. He wants to make a fresh start between them, and it will be worth it. He won’t be long. I say, oh no, don’t leave, to the TV.

Sonny doesn’t know Faison’s location. Dante tells him it’s an active investigation. The bartender tells Sonny that he can’t find Carly, and asks if he’ll give her a message. Tell her that he’ll be happy to take care of any special projects she has moving forward.

Sam asks if Jason is drunk. He says no, and she tells him the game is fundamentally unfair. He can drink five times as many shots, which means she has to win fives times more. She doesn’t think she’s ever achieved it, since she’s never seen him drunk. He moves a domino, and she asks why he made such a stupid play? He tells her that he was distracted, but she says he’s losing on purpose. He doesn’t want to see her drunk. Jason, the tough hitman, is too polite to get a lady drunk, unless she’s his lady. They agree that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Jason says it’s almost midnight. If they get up on deck, maybe they’ll see some fireworks. He helps her on with the coat that Maxie picked out.

Robert calls Anna, saying they haven’t found Cassandra yet. She says she’ll lock up, and stay armed until they do. She starts to go upstairs, and the door opens. She says, Finn, we have a problem. By the look on her face, I don’t think it’s Finn.

Nina keeps texting Valentin, and wondering where he is.

Lulu toasts to a new career. Dante asks Sonny to make a resolution to share information on Faison, and Sonny says he will if Dante will. Lulu wants to text Laura to see if she’s enjoying her honeymoon, but Dante suggests she’ll enjoy it more if Lulu doesn’t text her. Sonny tells Carly that she seems happy, and she says she is. He asks if it has anything to do with the bartender. He told Sonny to tell her that he’d be happy to do any special projects for her. She says the employees are always looking for extra work. Sonny tells her that if you start the new year with a lie, you’ll be lied to for the rest of the year.

Dante wonders why Lulu was asking about Faison, and tells her that she has to work on her technique. Is she going after him herself? She avoids the question, and he tells her that Faison is dangerous and a psychopath. Stay away from him. She says she will, if he will. He says he’s a cop; it’s his job. She says he has to accept her career the way she does his. He says not when she’s on the path of a predator. She says they have a problem then.

Carly tells Sonny that she may have arranged for Sam and Jason to get stuck somewhere. Sonny asks if it’s somewhere dangerous, and she says, no, but private. He asks what about Drew, and she says she paid the bartender to tamper with his car. Sonny says she’ll be the first person he’ll blame, but she doesn’t care; she’s doing him a favor. He’ll never be happy with Sam, because Sam won’t be happy without Jason.

Kim tells Drew that he believed in staying in the moment, and not looking too far ahead. He also liked to enjoy a song and a sunset. He used to say, don’t waste chance to live what’s right in front of you.

Sam’s coat deserves a mention. It’s white, soft military style, with a nipped waist and pleats. She tells Jason that Danny loves fireworks, just like his dad. She asks when Jason gave the city money to rebuild, if it was because the fireworks were good from there? He says it was for a lot of reasons, but that was one of them.

Finn gets back with flowers, but there’s no one there. He puts them on the desk, and looks for Anna.

They’re just going to leave me hanging all over the place in this episode, aren’t they?

When Finn comes back, Cassandra is there, smelling one of the flowers.

Valentin continues to struggle. He remembers his and Nina’s wedding, and saying the vows.

The countdown begins. Alone, Nina says, happy anniversary, Valentin.

Dante and Lulu kiss. He wants her to be an award winning journalist, but wants her safe. She promises she will be.

Sonny tells Carly that he knows her intentions are good, and he loves her for that. She’s a force of nature, and his life means nothing without her. She loves him the same way. They kiss.

Kim is like, sorry, happy new year. Drew says he’ll go the rest of the way on foot. He says to tell Oscar, happy new year, and she says the same to Sam.

Sam and Jason watch the fireworks. She says it’s beautiful. He looks at her, and says, beautiful. They look at each other, and he holds out his hand. They get closer. We flash back to when she was drunk, and they danced. They begin to dance on the deck, and we flash back to when they danced under Chinese lanterns in the rain. They dance, and gaze into each other’s eyes. They kiss, while Auld Lang Syne plays.

We get the end-of-the-year full credits, but no preview.

✈ I’ve probably seen it a million times, but suddenly realized that’s Ashley Jones (Parker, General Hospital) in a Priceline commercial with Kaley Cuoco (Penny, The Big Bang Theory). Turns out they’re good friends, and last spring, Kaley helped throw Ashley a safari-themed high tea baby shower. You don’t see one of those very often, and how’s that for useless trivia?

Since we’re still in holiday TV interruptus, I watched two episodes of Hell’s Kitchen tonight. I’m so out of the loop with this show, it didn’t really matter, but nothing makes it feel like home more than Gordon Ramsay bleepity-bleep-bleep-bleeping his way around a kitchen. Especially when he tells the contestants they’ve made a blunder that’s “the worst in the history of this competition.” I wish I had a quarter for every time he’s said that. I know the phrase is supposed to be a nickel, but, inflation.

 🎊 Some Quotes to Usher in the New Year

The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts.C.S. Lewis, from The Abolition of Man, Compiled in Words to Live By

It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Knowing what must be done does away with fear.Rosa Parks

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.Charles Dickens

A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness. – Albert Einstein

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Reba McEntire

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something. – Neil Gaiman

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.Benjamin Franklin

New Year’s Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. Today carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand. Only dreams give birth to change.Sarah Ban Breathnach

😸 Here’s Where I’m Supposed to Say…

See you next year – ha-ha! but I’m not going to. It’s so cliché. Whether you rock your new year in at home or take it to the streets, enjoy, but enjoy safely. As for me, been there, done it all, when it was safer and less expensive. I’ll be ringing in the new year with Chinese food, liquor and Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time. Stop laughing.

Wishing you all good things in 2018 – and all the best in TV!

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🐆 And if You’re Inclined to See What a Safari-Themed High Tea Baby Shower is All About…

So Wild! Inside Ashley Jones’ Safari-Themed High Tea Baby Shower

🎅 And Because I Can’t Resist…

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Casey’s First Christmas

 

October 11, 2017 – Griff Has to Decide, Siggy Wants an Apology, Jahil is Alive & a Giggy Wedding Pic

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

There’s a tribute to Morgan in the park. An easel has been set up with pictures of him.

Kristina walks Parker to class. Parker says that Kristina has made it possible for them to be together. Kristina says it’s the best decision she’s ever made. The dean knocks at the door, and says they need to discuss how Parker’s conduct affects the university.

Ava tells Kiki how sick of hospitals she is, and talks about things they can do today. Kiki says she can’t spend too much time today. Ava thinks she’s mad, and Kiki says that Ava only lied and snuck off to a bootleg clinic in Russia where she could have died. She was relieved when Griff called. Ava says he moved heaven and earth for her. Kiki tells her that’s because he felt responsible, and wants to know why. What happened between them?

In the chapel, Griff tells God that he’s sought clarity through prayer, scripture and faith, but needs discernment and guidance. A priest walks in, and says at the risk of sounding conceited, he could be the answer to Griff’s prayers. Father Corey is there to take him back to his parish where he belongs. I didn’t even know he had a parish.

Ava tells Kiki that she and Griff had a disagreement, and let’s leave it at that. Kiki says it must have been quite a disagreement, but she’s glad he got there when he did. Deanna pops in, saying there’s been a glitch, and Ava’s release papers will take longer. Kiki says she’ll be back later She’s spending the morning with Avery. Ava wants to see her, but Kiki isn’t sure about that. She doesn’t think it’s the best thing for today. Ava says she hasn’t seen her in a while. Kiki tells her to text when she’s ready to go, and Ava says to take pictures if she can’t bring her. Kiki says she really is glad Ava is back home.

When Kiki is gone, Laura appears. She says she saw Kiki leaving. She’s a lovely girl, and Ava must be proud, although she wonders if she’d be as proud, if Kiki knew how Ava betrayed Nikolas. Which makes no sense unless we were talking about Kiki being proud of Ava.

Father Corey says he hasn’t heard from Griff in weeks. Griff tells him that he just got back from a trip. The priest says it must have been some trip; St. Gabriel had an easier time reaching the Virgin Mary. He’s not shaming Griff, but not even sending a pithy emoji makes him think that Griff is avoiding him. Griff says it wasn’t because he didn’t want to speak with him, but he was afraid of being told his leave of absence is over. Father Corey tells him as they say on Wednesdays, bingo! The bishop needs him back immediately.

The dean tells Parker that pursuing a sexual relationship with a student is against policy, and she was seen kissing Kristina. Kristina says that she’s not going to school there anymore, but he says it was prior to her withdrawal. She wants to know who said something, but Parker says it doesn’t matter. The dean tells her that her paperwork will be waiting. Kristina asks what paperwork, and Parker tells her that she’s just been fired.

Laura tells Ava that she’s the one holding up the release papers. Ava knows how much Laura hates her; she hates herself. Laura says she should. She chose vanity over conscience, letting a murderer walk out into the world, and Spencer will have no peace of mind. Ava wonders if he could appreciate the irony. She ruined her chances of getting her face back by helping somebody. Laura asks if she thought she’d get applause for her noble victory, when she helped the man go free who murdered her son. Nikolas died for her. She tried to take comfort that he died a hero, but now she knows it was in vain. In the end, Ava valued her looks over Nikolas’s memory, and Laura will never forgive her. Any attempt at apology is wasted, but she’s the least of Ava’s worries. She sold her soul to the devil, and one day, will have to pay up. She gives Ava the release papers.

Griff apologizes to any inconvenience, and says he’ll call the bishop and ask for an extension. Father Corey says he already took more time than usual, and the time has come to an end. Griff says he has patients and cases, but the priest says there are other doctors. His parish needs him. Aside from his indiscretion, he was an exemplary priest, which is why they agreed to the extended leave. Griff says he appreciates it, and Father Corey tells him to act like it. He’s had more than enough time, and they have every confidence that he’s learned to resist temptation.

Kristina tells Parker that she can call father’s lawyer, but Parker says that she broke the rules. She tells Kristina not to blame herself, but Kristina says she only blames whoever was spying on them. Alexis walks into the room, and Kristina says she’s not surprised. It was her.

Kiki arrives at the park, and thanks Michael for inviting her. He says no one blames her for what Ava did. Molly says that they’re there to honor Morgan’s life and outrageous sense of humor. I wish I’d seen this sense of humor they keep talking about. I don’t remember him having much of a sense of humor at all. Molly gets a text from Kristina, saying she can’t make it. Josslyn wonders why she’s blowing it off, since it was her idea. Molly doesn’t want to speculate, but Josslyn thinks she knows something. Molly says that Kristina dropped out of PCU, and their mom is upset, so they’re probably talking. Michael says Morgan would sympathize.

Molly gives out Perks new signature drink, which was Morgan’s creation – the Morganchino, hot chocolate and espresso. She says that the profits from it will go to the foundation. Dante says it packs a punch, and Michael adds that he won’t be sleeping for days. That’s my kind of coffee. Josslyn says the ceremony wouldn’t be complete without Perks hats, also Morgan’s creation, and passes them out to everyone. Dante talks about the time they first met, and Michael takes a group picture with everyone wearing their hats.

Kristina tells Alexis that Parker was just fired because of their relationship, and Alexis says, imagine that. Kristina says that she’s no longer enrolled at PCU. Alexis says that she knows, even though Kristina didn’t tell anyone, but she wasn’t the one who said something to the school. Kristina says that Alexis would do anything in her power to sabotage them, and Parker adds that she has been relentless. Kristina tells her to admit it. Alexis insists she didn’t do it, but whoever did, did Kristina and PCU a big favor.

Doc meets Laura at Kelly’s. He tells her that he got her message, and asks if she’s okay. He has a feeling, and she admits she neglected to tell him something. He says she can tell him anything, and she says that she went to Wyndemere and threatened Valentin with a gun.

Griff says that his ordination was the happiest day of his life. Father Corey remembers what the priest said about justice and consistency, and all the virtues that should be reflected in a priest’s actions, as well as keeping pure and spotless. He says it’s a gift of a high calling. Griff remembers everything, including his vows. He wants to resume being a priest, but he has to be completely sure; his parishioners deserve it. He asks for a few more months, but Father Corey says he already asked the bishop, and Griff is needed now. His replacement is needed elsewhere, and the bishop was firm. Griff says he can’t, and Father Corey tells him that he has an important decision to make then. Does he want to continue being a priest?

The group at the memorial toasts Morgan with coffee. Ava appears, saying she’s sorry to intrude, but Kiki said Avery would be there. She asks if Avery can say “hi” to her momma, and Michael tells Molly to take Avery into Perks. She asks if he had to do that, and Kiki asks what she’s doing there. She was supposed to text when she was ready to leave. Ava says she got released right after Kiki left. Dante says so she thought she’d barge in, but she tells him that she didn’t know what was happening. Kiki wonders why she didn’t turn around and leave when she noticed, and she says she wanted to see Avery. Michael says she saw her; Avery was having a good time, and she ruined it. I laugh, because maybe she ruined it for the others, but Avery didn’t even know what was going on. Michael insists she can feel the tension (again, not coming from Ava). They’re remembering Morgan instead of being with him because of her.

Father Corey says that he told Griff not to be hard on himself. Things happen. They fail, and fall, but they gather up their courage and learn from their mistakes, emerging stronger with renewed faith and better resistance. He tells Griff that the diocese has supported him because he means so much to them. It shouldn’t be a question of obligation. In the seminary, he embraced the church; what’s changed? He asks if there’s another woman, and Griff says yes.

Alexis tells Kristina that Parker violated her position of trust, and should have discouraged a relationship. Kristina says Parker never did anything inappropriate. Alexis says PCU disagrees. Parker says yes, they did, but she doesn’t have to defend or explain herself to anyone except Kristina. Alexis says that it’s hard to watch Parker manipulate her daughter. Kristina says she came to see if her plan worked, but Alexis says she has no control over what the dean does. Kristina asks why she’s there then, and Alexis wants to find out why she quit school.

Laura tells Doc that the gun wasn’t loaded, but Valentin didn’t know that. He sarcastically says that’s a relief, and she says she knows it was wrong and stupid, but she wanted to see the fear in his eyes for a change. She says Spencer can’t win the civil suit without Ava’s testimony, and it gave him a sense of purpose. Valentin gets away with everything, and she felt helpless. Doc says no judgement. He knows how fierce she can be; it’s one of the many qualities that attracts him to her. Laura gets a picture from Spencer on her phone, and she says he misses them, and will never forget their walks along the Seine before school started. He wants to know how the lawsuit is coming along, but she doesn’t want to let him know how Ava betrayed him.

Michael says they know Ava didn’t mean for Morgan to die; just go out of his mind and break up with her daughter. Dante tells her that she’s not welcome. Ava says that she’s still Avery’s mother. Kiki tells her to please go. Ava says all right, and when she’s gone, Kiki apologizes for letting it slip that she was seeing Avery. She asks if they can continue to celebrate Morgan’s life, but Josslyn is taking her to see the penguins at the zoo, and wants to do it before she’s tired. Kiki says that her mom ruined the memorial like she ruins everything she touches.

Father Corey asks if Griff had sex, but Griff says no. There was some physical contact, but he stopped it. He tells the priest this is different than his experience with Claudette. At the time, he had strong feelings and thought he loved her, but not enough to overcome his love of God and the priesthood. Father Corey asks why he’s reluctant, and Griff says God is still first in his heart, but there’s something about this woman. He’s drawn to her without understanding. It’s more than physical. She had been injured, and closed herself off from the world. At first, he wanted to help, and still just wants to help. Father Corey asks if he wants something more. Griff doesn’t know, but he does know that he can’t return without an answer.

Alexis tells Kristina she found out about her quitting school when she got a refund check. She didn’t have the respect and decency to tell her to her face. Kristina says she thought she knew what the reaction would be, but she underestimated Alexis. She didn’t think she’d get back at her by tanking Parker’s career. Parker says it doesn’t matter; she’s fired. She’s going to Oregon, where her parents left her a house. Kristina is sure she’ll love it. She’s going with her.

Doc asks what Laura told Spencer. She told him that they miss him too, and the civil suit is moving through the judicial system at a glacial pace, which isn’t exactly a lie. Doc says it’s not exactly the truth either. She says the suit means everything to Spencer. He’s Hamlet avenging his father’s death. It’s how he’s dealing with his grief, and losing Ava’s testimony will be hard because he wants to win badly. Doc asks, or does she? She says both, but she can handle the disappointment; she doesn’t think he can. Maybe something will happen to change it. It breaks her heart that Spencer won’t have justice for his father’s murder.

Father Corey says that Griff can’t have it both ways. He can’t use the priesthood as a shield against life. Choose one and deal with the challenges. He suggests Griff pray about it, but Griff says he’s been doing that. The priest says he’ll pray too, but if the answer isn’t with God, Griff has to look inside himself. He needs to have the guts to listen, and in the end, he’ll know what’s right, and no doubt find the answer. I love this actor, but can’t find out who he is.

Doc doesn’t want either of them to suffer. They might not get justice, and will have to find peace another way, but he’ll be here for her no matter what. He wants to be there in the good times and the bad; that’s how love works. Laura says she doesn’t know what she would have done without him. He says she would have managed. She says maybe, but this latest twist knocked her for a loop. She doesn’t know how Ava can justify her actions, and how she lives with herself. She’s destroyed so many lives.

Ava gets thank you text from Spencer. She says can’t go on like this.

Josslyn thinks they should give the picture board to the foundation, so the kids can see the person who inspired it. Kiki adds that they can see Morgan was just like them; he struggled, but loved life. Michael asks if she wants to come to the zoo with them, but she says no thanks. When they leave, she thinks about what Michael said to Ava, that she used the idea of love and concern to destroy his brother and control her daughter. Kiki ponders this, and tells Morgan that she’s sorry for what Ava did because of her. He’s not here now, and she knows it’s Ava’s fault. Michael said he’s never going to forgive Ava, and maybe she shouldn’t either. She doesn’t know what to do.

Alexis tells Kristina that she’s being ridiculous, and she’s not going to Oregon. Kristina says she is – if Parker wants her. Parker says of course. Alexis blocks the door and says if Parker has any shred of decency, she can’t do this. Parker says that she loves Kristina; she never would have trashed her career otherwise. Alexis says it’s a mistake, but Kristina says the only mistake would be letting Alexis control her life. Alexis tells her that she’s only trying to help. Kristina says she loves someone who loves her back, and their starting a new life together. Alexis can stay and judge – what she does best.

Doc tells Laura that people invent all kinds of ways to justify doing wrong. Some blame others, some take what they think they deserve, some play the victim. Understanding Ava’s psyche won’t make her feel better. She says she has to do something; she doesn’t want to lie life like this. She knows it’s not what Nikolas would have wanted. He’d have wanted her to live her best life and find peace, but she doesn’t know how. Doc says maybe he can help, and asks her to marry him.

Ava books the next flight to Paris. She says that she’s sorry to Spencer. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Griff.

Tomorrow, Curtis found something, Dillon says Kiki is shutting him out, and Alexis tells Sonny that they have to keep Kristina from throwing her life away.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

We revisit Teresa throwing the birthday cake at Melissa, and Siggy overreacting, ending with her telling Margaret to go screw herself. In her interview, Margaret says while she wouldn’t throw a cake at a party, they were just having fun. The scene continues a little longer, with Siggy calling the girls just about every name in the book. Siggy says if they can’t behave, they’re not coming back.

Teresa calls her father. She misses talking to her mom every day, and her daughters miss her too. Melissa calls Joe #2, and he asks how the birthday dinner went. She says Siggy got “fancy pants” on them, and got mad. She tells Joe about the cake fight, and he laughs. Melissa says that Siggy called them animals. She says that’s what women do, and he should be happy he’s not one of them.

Siggy tells her husband that they were all drunk, but it was no excuse for throwing cake. She’s humiliated and embarrassed, and wants an apology. She continues to bitch to Michael. He says to come home already; it’s ridiculous.

Back in New Jersey, Frankie pours dried pasta into a bowl. I’m hoping it’s going into some boiling water, and he doesn’t put milk on it. Frank lectures him about acting more mature, and doesn’t think he’s taking going to college seriously. He tells Frankie not to embarrass his parents.

The ladies head to yoga. Siggy and Delores didn’t answer the group text, and Margaret tells them not to wait. Danielle talks about Siggy saying that she’s more intelligent than the rest of them. She could understand if it was a real fight, but they were just goofing around. In her interview, Danielle calls Siggy a control freak, and says the moment she wasn’t in control and they started having fun, she lost her sh*t. She might be right here. They were having fun, but not her fun. Danielle tells the others that Siggy did say she’s a Gemini. We flash back to her getting weepy every other minute, and Margaret calls her Soggy. Melissa says that she’s two different people – the one from Boca, and the one from New Jersey. She’s hoping New Jersey comes back, because Boca is no fun.

They set up towels on the beach. Teresa is a certified instructor, and tells them go at their own pace. In her interview, she says that yoga changed her mind. She learned to be more positive. If it wasn’t for yoga, she wouldn’t have rekindled her relationship with Danielle. Danielle does a difficult pose, and Melissa says that her flexibility is the reason she was engaged nineteen times. Hahahahaha!

Siggy and Delores go to a juice bar. Siggy says she tried to make the weekend perfect, and was disrespected for her trouble. She bitches to Delores, and says that it’s her town. Delores gets why she’s upset, but says she doesn’t think it was deliberately disrespectful; it’s just the way they act. She’s seen Teresa throw people and tables across the room. Delores suggests Siggy talk to them before they go to tennis at her friend’s house.

After yoga, Melissa wants a drink immediately. A man brings a white floral wreath down to Margaret. Margaret says that it’s a healing time, and she thought setting the wreath out to see as a memorial to Teresa’s mom would be appropriate. She’d seen it done in Hawaii. How thoughtful! She feels that Teresa opened up, and wanted to do something special. Each of them takes a rose and a notecard where they write something to a lost loved one. Everyone is crying, and they read their cards out loud. I start to cry. This is one of those rare moments that is truly real and touches your heart. Of course, Teresa writes to her mother, and I’m surprised she can get through it. In her interview, Melissa says it takes a while to get to a place where you want to keep living. Teresa says Margaret is an amazing person. They tie the flowers and cards onto the wreath. Margaret didn’t think it would be so emotional. They have to take the wreath out on a paddleboard with an instructor. Teresa says that one of the difficult things about grieving is being alone, but now she’s sharing a special moment with those who lost love ones. She tells us that Margaret wouldn’t have known it, but her mom loved beach, and she knows she’s watching.

In the Garden State, Teresa’s girls aren’t thrilled with grandpa’s cooking. Joe #2 comes over with his kids. In his interview, Joe says the grandkids are his father’s life, and he lights up when they’re around. He teases the girls about boyfriends, and says his daughter will be 48 when she gets her first one.

Siggy whines to Delores that they’ve had all morning to reflect. She hopes they realize they took it too far. Everyone gets in the limo and it’s pretty quiet. In her interview, Siggy says they’re in the car like nothing happened. There’s intermittent small talk. Delores tells us that the one thing that can make it go away is if someone apologizes. She feels an eff-you attitude in the car.

When they get to the house mansion, Siggy says things went too far last night. She doesn’t want tennis rackets to go flying. Teresa wonders, if Siggy feels that way, why are they even coming here? In her interview, Siggy says they’re lucky they didn’t get time out. She tells them to please respect her friend’s house. Melissa feels like she’s being schooled. Margaret says they’ll talk about it later.

The girls are introduced to Lori. The house is humongous and impressive, but I don’t love it. Siggy wants them to have a taste of her lifestyle in Boca. Teresa is pissed, but Lori planned amazing day for them, so she’s rolling with it. None of them want to be there. They sit on the patio, and Lori explains that she and her husband became friends with Siggy and Michael when her husband was Siggy’s OB/GYN. Some of the girls are going to play tennis, and the others going to the pool. Lori arranged for a lifeguard to teach Teresa how to swim. Wow. Another thoughtful gesture. Danielle tells her about the wreath ceremony, and no surprise, Siggy feels disrespected that they didn’t call her. In her interview, Delores says she’s known Teresa and her mother since she was a teenager, and is shocked she was excluded. Because It’s all about them. I might add that they did not answer the group text, so too bad.

Siggy’s tennis dress matches the blue court so well, it’s like a special effect. Margaret plays tennis like I do – badly. Siggy is concentrating on having good time, but it’s hard, because she’s sad about fighting with her friends. I notice that the instructor has man bun. Only Josh (Sweet Home Oklahoma) is allowed to have a man bun. Swim instructor Lee takes Teresa out in the water, and she’s terrified. She has to keep a grip on him, but doesn’t really mind since he’s hot. He instructs well, as she ends up swimming alone across the pool.

Siggy takes Lori aside, and tells her about the cake, leaving out a few details, like it wasn’t malicious, and she was nasty. Lori says no one in her world operates like that. Siggy is glad someone agrees with her, because she thought she was in the twilight zone. They agree a sit down is needed. Delores tells Margaret of course Siggy is upset. Margaret says Siggy did say a few things that were dismissive. In her interview, Delores thinks Margaret needs to learn about loyalty. Who brought you is who you stay with. Yeah, if you’re going to the bar. How about leaning on the side of the right one? Delores is angry that they weren’t invited to the memorial. In her interview, Margaret says it was about Teresa’s mother, not Siggy and Delores. Again I say, if they hadn’t ignored the text, they might have gotten an invite.

Melissa doesn’t want to apologize for having fun at her own party. Good point. They’re having dinner at Siggy’s place. Everyone gets ready.

Siggy is annoyed with Margaret, and hurt. She wanted to be part of it. Delores says Margaret should have texted her, and I yell, she did! you didn’t answer! at the TV. She says they weren’t up for yoga because of the way things went the night before. But she obviously couldn’t be bothered to let them know that. She says had they known about the memorial, nothing would have stopped them from coming. In her interview, Margaret calls Delores a mini Siggy. Margaret relays to the others that Delores said they should just accept that Siggy says things like she has a higher IQ; that’s the way she is. Danielle says it’s an insult. In her interview, Teresa says she never would have believed she and Danielle would be on the same side of an argument.

Margaret says the house is a shrine to Siggy. There are even pictures of her in the bathroom. Siggy has hired Sexz Chef for the dinner. While they have a cocktail, Siggy tells Teresa that she has a hangover from last night and her head is spinning. Teresa says that her head is spinning from last night too. In her interview, Siggy claims she was getting the eyeroll attitude, but I didn’t see that. It was more like Teresa was trying to be funny, but didn’t know how to handle Siggy’s remark.

At the table, continuing with her passive aggression, Siggy says they had great food last night. Melissa says that she enjoyed being outside. Siggy says she can’t stand it. They’re acting like nothing happened. They were both rude, and it was validated by Lori. Melissa is like, nice, throw us under the bus. Siggy says they threw her under the bus by not apologizing first thing the next morning. Melissa and Teresa say, what?! at the exact same time, and it’s too funny. Melissa is shocked she wants them to apologize for being playful. In her interview, Melissa says that they didn’t ruin the night; Siggy did. Siggy goes blah-blah-blah about how she had this special cake made for Melissa, like it wasn’t going to get eaten in five minutes anyway. Delores thinks they should apologize, not necessarily for what they did, but because it upset Siggy, which doesn’t take much. Melissa asks why Siggy doesn’t apologize for the things she said, like calling them freakin’ animals, and she’ll have to explain they’re from New Jersey.

Siggy claims she never said that, and she remembers everything. We flash back to her saying that. Teresa says Delores didn’t have much to drink, and asks her if Siggy didn’t say that. Delores starts making it up as she goes along. She’s not saying Siggy didn’t say it, and has her back. In her interview, Teresa says Delores was like her sister, and isn’t backing her up. Delores claims she doesn’t remember, and Melissa says that means she’s pleading the fifth. Melissa says that Siggy also told them to eff themselves. Siggy wails why isn’t she allowed to have feelings? Margaret asks how she’d act in a real crisis (thank you), and who cries about a cake? Margaret calls her Soggy. In her interview, Melissa says she’s been called a lot worse names. Danielle says that since the cake was a gift to Melissa, she should be able to use it the way she wants to. Another good point. Siggy accuses her of kissing Teresa’s ass. She whines that she extended this invitation to everyone, and now they’re ganging up on her. She says they’re not getting it. Melissa says that she talks down to them, and Siggy accuses Melissa of always talking down to her. She’d expected her friends to have a certain level of class in a public place. Margaret says that Siggy caused several scenes, and we flash back to her screaming and hollering to people in the first restaurant they went to. Siggy says this is her town, and they’re acting like trash.

Melissa says that you never refer to a woman from Jersey as stupid or trash. Danielle is insulted that she used that word (and you don’t get more Jersey than her). Siggy starts saying trashy, trashy, trashy, and Melissa asks if she’s on drugs. Siggy says putting a little cake on each other’s faces was fine, but not throwing the whole thing. Melissa asks if doing it properly would have made it okay. Siggy tells her if that’s how it’s going to be, maybe they shouldn’t have dinner again. Melissa says okay, bye. Teresa follows her, saying the crab cakes were salty. Margaret and Danielle aren’t far behind. Way to break up a dinner party.

Siggy says she doesn’t give a sh*t. Delores says they started the weekend as close friends, and then two interlopers snuck in, Margaret and Danielle.

Next time, Siggy wants to pull Margaret’s pigtails out, Margaret calls Siggy a hypocrite, and Siggy is out to destroy Margaret.

This was a really good episode. There were the usual fights, but we got an unusually touching moment, and there were quite a few laughs.

🍸 Oh wow. I’d just been thinking about the time Andy Cohen had a Watch What Happens Live New Year’s Eve show. Giggy married Grandma Wrinkles, and it was one of the best New Year’s Eves I ever had. Sad, I know. For whatever reason, he said he’d never do another one, and I was bemoaning that, which is even sadder. Anyway, on tonight’s show, he said he’ll be hosting with Anderson Cooper this coming New Year’s Eve. I wasn’t totally listening, but I assume on CNN. Not quite the same thing, but it sounds intriguing. I also assume that he’s replacing Kathy Griffin, whose career no one killed except her, and that was long before the election.

🌟 I missed Star last week, and apparently missed a lot, because Benjamin Bratt is still alive, and still wants to produce the group. They weren’t down with that, but maybe they should have been, since latest producer Ayanna scheduled them to sing in a mall. It didn’t go well, and Alexandra dropped the mic (stand) all the way through one of the speakers, causing a power outage in the food court. I was kind of on Ayanna’s side here, since the girls complained about having to perform for a not-that-receptive audience. They should try off-Broadway, and perform for almost no audience. She told them it wasn’t what she meant by a smash performance, and as punishment, they had to be back-up singers for some dude. Star tried to get him to promote them, and that was a no, but it was a yes to getting busy with her later, where she threw him a no after getting him hot and bothered. Queen Latifah dancing at home with the girls to I’m Every Woman was all of us. Next week, another father for Star shows up.

📡 Quote of the night: I’m not throwing shade. I’d throw a palm tree at her ass if I thought it would work. – Miss Lawrence

Yes, I even took pictures of the TV…

Giggy&GrandmaWrinkles

Giggy Marries Grandma Wrinkles – 2010

January 2, 2017 – Pump Rules the Road, a Chart & a Quote

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Hope everyone had a happy and safe New Year’s Eve and Day! Football replaced GH today, and everything was closed, so none of us know what day of the week it is at this point. Weekend + holiday = confusion. That being said, on to more important things. Like gratuitous glimpses of Giggy and endless Range Rover discussions.

Vanderpump Rules

Last week, Tom made made it clear that nobody was going to stand in the way of Ariana’s tiara-ed wine country NASCAR birthday being fabulous or he would be pissed. Lala never shows up for the flight.

Ariana gets a text from her, apologizing for bailing, and saying she’ll make it up to her. In his interview, Jax thinks that Lala believes an apology makes everything okay. He does admit it’s an improvement in conditions, since they’re all going to be in close counters [sic] in the RV rented for the trip. Brittany announces that she gets car sick, and I think of Joe Buck in Midnight Cowboy who only gets car sick on boats. They have a problem just getting out of the parking lot, so I’m skeptical if they’ll make it to wine country.

Stassi is on her way to her own birthday celebration in Montauk. She reminds us that she hasn’t had a birthday trip in two years. We flash back to Jax’s chunky sweatered a-holeness and Katie’s whining on Stassi’s previous birthdays. I’d probably never have another trip again after those fiascoes. The girls have rented a place right on the beach and it’s beautiful.

Scheana has decided to come along, and she hopes that everyone’s attitudes can stay with the sunny weather, which is a very Scheana-like remark to make. Stassi asks Katie how she’s feeling about Scheana being there, and she’s good. Stassi hopes Scheana doesn’t make the trip all about her. Because, you know, it’s the national holiday called STASSI’S BIRTHDAY.

While driving the RV, Tom goes blah-blah-blah about Lala, because the NASCAR VIP tickets were super expensive, but Ariana’s jury is out until she gets the real story. Although she does add that it had better have been important. Brittany decides to FaceTime with Scheana. She tells Scheana and Stassi about Lala not showing up. Scheana is annoyed, since Lala is the reason that she wasn’t invited on the Sonoma trip. However, Stassi has already informed us that Scheana choosing not to go to Montauk would be unbridesmaid-like behavior. Brittany tells Stassi that it’s like a redneck dream in the RV.

At SUR, Lisa and Peter (who looks so different since he shaved, I didn’t recognize him) discuss business. Ariana calls Lisa, asking if she’s seen or heard from Lala, but Lisa thought she was with Ariana. Ariana tells Lisa that Lala bailed with no explanation. Lisa isn’t too happy, since Lala begged for the night off, but tells Ariana to just forget about Lala and have good time. In her interview, Ariana says Lala is shady as hell and she’s over it.

Kristen informs us that since New Yorkers are always on the go, they need to go to the Hamptons to decompress. She doesn’t understand the appeal though, since she never does anything. Scheana tells everyone how Lala never showed for Ariana’s birthday, but everyone agrees that Ariana is better off, because this is “the kind of girl who doesn’t wear underwear to work.” Stassi admits they’re a bunch of haters. Well, at least she’s honest.

Ariana’s crew gets to Sonoma. In his interview, Schwartz tells us that Jax basically stinks because he’s been wearing the same compression garment (man bra) since his breast reduction surgery. Even in the shower. Bleh. Ariana is embarrassed that they’ve pulled up to the winery in a Winnebago. A wine tasting has been set up, but Jax would prefer a vodka tasting. Brittany is down for tequila or whiskey, but also isn’t much of a wine drinker.

Tom suggests that they play a lottery where the loser drinks from the bucket of wine spit. I can only hope he draws the low card or whatever. Or maybe Jax. Too bad. It’s Ariana. Understandably, she hesitates. She holds the floral centerpiece next to her face, so that the people at the other tables don’t see her. News flash. You’re actually making yourself more obvious.

In Montauk, Kristen talks about her nearly perfect relationship. Stassi is still bummed about things not working out so well with Patrick. We flash back to when they were moving in together. Katie asks if she’s okay. Stassi insists that she’s fine, but wipes tears from her eyes.

Ariana says she feels like the RV wants them to be drunken idiots on the road. And they are. They drink tequila as they speed along. Um…should Bravo be letting them do that?

James tells us that he’s traded his alcohol addiction for ice cream. He meets with his mentor, Arthur, while he downs several scoops of some pretty weird flavors. God forgive me, but I’d love to see James get fat. He talks about going to Lisa, and how she turned him down when he asked for his job back. Arthur says that this should be a red flag that James shouldn’t drink, and asks what the real problem is underneath the drinking. James tells him about his family breaking apart, and how that makes him want to drink. He says he feels like a drink, and I tell him he doesn’t look like one. BA-DUM-CHH! Arthur owns a bar, and James asks if he needs a DJ. Arthur says he’ll hire him, but if he takes a drink, he’ll be fired and be given a haircut.

Ariana’s birthday troupe goes to Sonoma Raceway. Ariana and Brittany have shots in the RV. Ariana says she’s having the time of her life, and she’s glad she doesn’t have to dress up. Tom talks to the guys, including Ariana’s brother, about his and Ariana’s sex life, which isn’t happening much. Ariana tells Brittany how she’s constantly telling Tom to back off. Tom talks about something where I go ♫ LA-LA-LA ♫  Jax wonders when he’s going to sabotage his relationship with Brittany, since that’s what he’s best at. Ariana drains the tequila bottle.

Scheana acts like a wet blanket when Stassi’s birthday group wants to have shots, because she’s sticking to her workout regimen. A guy stops by their table (it’s an outdoor bar), and Scheana tells him it’s Stassi’s birthday and she’s 22, when she’s really 28, and I wonder why. In her interview, Stassi says that she was hoping for someone a bit younger to hit on her. I would have been hoping for someone younger. She tells the girls her cut off is 45.

Ariana is absolutely hammered, and Tom loves it. He’s probably hoping for sex. In his interview, Schwartz says that Ariana is more responsible than the rest of them, and rarely gets drunk, but when she does, it’s two-fisted and he thinks she should do it more often.

Another guy comes by Stassi’s table and Scheana gives him the same routine. Stassi says they’re getting warmer. Until he starts talking. Then they’re freezing. A guy named Laertes (!) replaces him. He seems kind of cool, isn’t bad looking, and is rather sylish. Katie monopolizes him and then he jets. Stassi says it’s official that Katie will never be her wingwoman, and worries that she’ll be single forever. I wouldn’t be too concerned at age 22 28.

Commercial break. Omg, I am feeling fat and I can’t stop eating because I am still in holiday mode, and there are still a lot of good leftovers. I need something like one of those talking car alarms, but it will say, Step away from the refrigerator!

James shows up at SUR to talk to Max. Lisa says it’s unfortunate that she can’t fire James from being friends with her son. Lisa asks James if he knows what’s up with Lala. He’s surprised that she didn’t come on Ariana’s birthday trip, and he thinks she’s under her boyfriend’s thumb. He says the boyfriend sometimes follows her, and she’s become very jumpy. In his interview, he says Lala wonders why everyone is so interested, and it’s because she creates interest, making up different stories. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t know if Lala’s boyfriend is married, but it’s obvious that her choice in boyfriends is questionable. She tells James not to be a bad influence on Max.

Katie calls Schwartz, who says they have everything they could ask for – beer and an RV. Katie finds it hard to believe that Schwartz could live the RV life, and we see a clip of him in a fluffy robe at a posh hotel, messing with his hair. Tom gets on the phone, and they discuss Lala. Katie is glad everyone is seeing her true colors. They speculate as to whether she might have been abducted by aliens, and what she might be doing for space Range Rovers, because that topic cannot be dropped. Ever. Schwartz is glad that it sounds like there won’t be any raging, angry texts tonight. Katie tells him they’re going skinny-dipping and he says he’ll be right there. The girls all find this highly amusing.

In his interview, Tom talks about Ariana’s last birthday, when she was sad about her father’s death, and he left her in the dust to go to Vegas. He wants to make sure she knows how important she is to him. He tells her how he’ll always be here for her, and in her interview, she says he’s more than redeemed himself, and she has no greater ally.

Jax farts and nearly clears the RV. smh

Once again, Scheana doesn’t want to go with the flow. The girls want to do their skinny-dipping thing, but she says they’re ganging up on her and giving her peer pressure. In her interview, Kristen says she must not have gotten the memo that they always get naked on Stassi’s birthday. Still, Scheana stays ashore in her robe. After the girls get out of the water, Stassi realizes that the lighthouse is pointed toward them and people are cheering.

Next time, NASCAR, the girls hunt up a man for Stassi, and Lala thinks it’s time to leave SUR.

New Year’s Chart & Quote

🎅 I’m somewhere between the second and third ones.
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🕯 Let your light beam in 2017.Robin Roberts, talking about her family’s motto for the new year.

December 29, 2016 – The Wedding that Wasn’t, a Replacement & Quotes from Those We’ve Lost

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Curtis sees Jordan at the MetroCourt New Year’s Eve party. He asks if he should just keep moving, but she says new year, new us. She’s’ letting go of the past.

Valentin tells Nina that she’s going to outshine the bride. She says be careful; they’re treading on thin ice already. She tells him that Lulu isn’t going to stop until she has Charlotte all to herself.

Kiki freaks a little, thinking there are going to be no bathroom breaks on the bus, but I think that kind of bus usually has a bathroom on it. Dillon tells her to just ignore him. She says if she could do that, she wouldn’t have been on the bus in the first place. He asks if that’s why she’s leaving Port Charles, and she says him, and Valerie. She couldn’t stand the thought of seeing them together.

Nathan tells Dante that he’s still married to Claudette. It might have been a good idea to have double-checked on that before.

Lulu tries to wake Maxie, but has no luck. Robin comes in, and tells Lulu to start a cold shower, and she’ll get coffee. Come hell or high water, Maxie is getting married.

Jason and Sam go to the chapel where Lucy is practicing officiating. It’s really pretty – all white branches and crystal, white roses and balls of holly.

Bobbie asks if Nell recognizes the pill in her hand. Nell says yes, she takes them every day. Bobbie says she found it in Sonny’s bedroom, and asks how hit got there. Nell says she dropped it. Well, that was easy.

Sonny tells Carly that the holidays aren’t the same without her, and asks her to stay. He says it’s going to be hard enough without Morgan, and being together might make it easier. He holds out his hand and asks if they can at least try.

Nathan is understandably bummed. He tells Dante that it was Claudette’s mother who called him. She found the divorce papers, unsigned and never filed. He says Maxie is waiting a floor away for him to marry her, and he can’t.

Maxie squeals and comes running out of the shower. She lies on the bed, but Robin tells her, no you don’t. Lulu brings the hairdryer, and Robin gives her the coffee. Maxie sneezes and spills it all over her wedding dress, which Lulu had put in her lap to get her to focus.

Jason and Sam go into the chapel. Lucy tells them that she hasn’t officiated in a long time, and she’s going to go polish her opening remarks. Jason lights a candle for Morgan. Sam wonders why Winston showed up at Alexis’s house. Jason asks if Alexis is coming, but Sam isn’t sure. She says Alexis has been distant, and wonders if she could have anything to do with Morgan’s death. Boy, is she not connecting the dots.

Jordan tells Curtis that she’s being pressured to wrap up the case, but all she has is a questionable confession and sketchy evidence. The good news is, she got approved to hire him as an outside investigator.

Valentin tells Nina that she was right; Lulu is suing him for full custody. He says as much as he loves Charlotte, he could be deemed unsuitable because he’s a single father who travels a lot.

Nell explains to Bobbie that she was picking something up for Carly, struggled with the childproof cap, and when the bottle popped open, her pills spilled everywhere. Bobbie questions it being dropped months ago, when Sonny has a full-time housekeeper. Nell asks why Bobbie always acts like she’s done something wrong.

Carly tells Sonny that she doesn’t know how they’re going to survive the years without Morgan. She goes down Memory Lane about last New Year’s Eve when Sonny was in the wheelchair. She says they had so much hope. Sonny says hope didn’t die with Morgan, and asks if she isn’t feeling it a little bit. She says she wants to, but there’s a fine line between hope and denial. She realized she has to be realistic about the life they lead and how dangerous it is. As far as she can see, that hasn’t changed.

Maxie says her dress is ruined, but she’s so cold, she doesn’t care. Lulu says she’ll get club soda, but Robin tells her that Maxie is burning up. After finding out that Maxie didn’t get a flu shot, Robin puts her back into bed. Robin suggests postponing the wedding. Maxie gets a text that Spinelli, Georgie and Ellie are stuck in Chicago because of the weather. Lulu says Maxie will have the wedding of her dreams, just not tonight. Nathan comes in.

Maxie asks if Nathan knew she was sick. He says he has bad news.

Kiki tells Dillon about the conversation she overheard between him and Valerie, when they were talking about how the night they spent together was the best. She says she couldn’t stay in Port Charles knowing she would see them together. He says they’re just friends, and on the night they spent together, all they did is talk about how relationships suck.

Valentin tells Nina that he’s not going down without a fight. Nina says contrary to popular belief, he has a support system, and she’ll help him.

Sonny asks if Carly can’t open up. She tells him that she wants that. She misses him and wants it all back, but he can’t promise her that there won’t be another bomb or bullet. She has to walk away.

Robin, Sam and Jason make small talk, and Lucy joins them. Robin tells them that Maxie has the flu and there isn’t going to be a wedding tonight. Lucy asks what she can do, and Robin asks her to make a sign for the door. Lucy leaves, and Sam suggests Robin join them at the MetroCourt. Robin likes the idea, but says there’s someone she has to see first.

Sonny tells Carly that he didn’t put the hit on Morgan. Carly says she believes that, and knows he believes it too. He says by the grace of God they’re still standing, so why can’t they stand together? She says she hates being without him, but hates the thought of someone she loves being harmed more. She tells him she has to go.

Bobbie asks what’s going on between Nell and Michael. Nell says they’re just friends. He even invited her out tonight, and she turned him down. Bobbie says that’s a step in the right direction. She says she knows she comes on strong, but people take advantage. She tells Nell that she’s a Spencer, and that means she won’t let anything or anyone hurt her family. She tells Nell happy New Year and leaves. Nell texts someone.

Michael gets a text from Nell, who’s changed her mind about going out. I’m officially looking forward to a Bobbie/Nell feud.

Curtis tells Jordan it’s not a slam dunk that Sonny is behind this. Jordan says that’s why she wants to hire him. He’s not taking the bait, and she’s surprised that he wants to continue working with Jason. She says what happens when he finds enough to clear Sonny’s name, and Sonny walks again. He says she wants to bury Sonny, and they’re done talking. He turns around to see Andre, who says they’re not.

Maxie tells Nathan what happened and how she ruined her dress. She adds that Spinelli is grounded in Chicago too. Nathan tells her that he’s still married to Claudette. That definitely tops Spinelli being stuck in Chicago.

Lulu tells Dante about what Laura said to her. She says that Laura suggested they aim for shared custody, but she’s going for sole custody.

Kiki tells Dillon that he was the only reason she left Port Charles. He says that she was the only reason that he left.

Nina and Valentin go to the chapel. Valentin says it’s lovely, but kind of empty. Lucy pops out, telling them that the bride is ill and the wedding is postponed. She says that the chapel is going to be closed soon, and leaves to post the sign. Nina asks Valentin if he meant what he said about fighting for Charlotte, and he says he does. She tells him to marry her, and they can fight for Charlotte together.

Maxie wonders if they were set up by Claudette. She tells Nathan that if Valentin wasn’t such a bad guy, she’d feel sorry for him.

A priest comes to close the chapel. Nina asks if he can marry them right now. He tells them that they need a license, and there’s no way he can get one that fast on New Year’s Eve. Valentin says if he’s willing to marry them, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Dante tells Lulu he’s in. Lulu says she should have talked to him first, but she was afraid he’d say she was being unreasonable. He says she’s being very reasonable.

Valentin calls a judge and says the license will be there within an hour. The priest leaves them to prepare. Valentin gives Nina one of the floral decorations for her bouquet.

Nell shows up at the MetroCourt to meet Michael. Carly says she’s happy to see them together. Michael asks why Carly is there, and she says she’s working. Nell tells her that there’s an old saying, if you spend New Year’s alone, you’ll be alone all year, and asks if she wants to tempt Fate. Carly says it’s almost midnight, and leaves to attend to business. Michael tells Nell now he knows why she took him up on his offer.

Dante tells Lulu to trust that they’re a team and she’s not doing this alone. She says she does. He asks how Valentin could ever prove he has a good home life for Charlotte? They kiss.

Nina and Valentin’s wedding ceremony begins. With no witnesses.

Kiki explains to Dillon that when she said it was hard to be with him, it didn’t mean that she didn’t want to be with him. He asks what now. She says they toast, and pulls out a bottle of champagne. She obviously comes prepared. Kiki tells Dillon that it’s Fate, and sometimes it isn’t cruel.

Nathan tells Maxie that nothing is going to prevent him from spending the rest of his life with her, and he loves her. She says that she loves him too. He asks if she’s going to make it to midnight, and she says she wouldn’t miss kissing him.

Andre apologizes to Curtis, especially about answering Jordan’s phone and not telling her that he called. He tells Curtis that it won’t happen again, and they wish each other happy New Year. Andre moves on to Jordan, who doesn’t want to talk about Curtis. He tells her how beautiful she looks in the necklace that he gave her. She’s happy with the gift, and I would be too – he has great taste in chokers.

Nell tells Michael that they obviously didn’t get through to his mom. He says it might take years, but she and Sonny will find their way back to each other – it’s inevitable.

Jason and Sam join the party, and Sam asks Carly about Sonny. Carly says she just can’t. Sam says anything can happen at any time. She never knows if Jason will be taken away from her, so she stays in the present and grabs the moment. She asks if Carly can do that. Even just for tonight.

Robin goes to Sonny’s place. He’s glad to see her. He tells her about how Morgan didn’t die because of him, and she says what a heavy burden must have been lifted. She asks about Carly. He says she doesn’t trust him, but he doesn’t blame her. Robin tells him that any man who’s capable of facing his darkest thoughts in the depths of despair can do anything. She has to leave, but tells him he’ll be okay.

Michael and Nell wonder where Carly went.

Nina and Valentin say their vows. They might be crazy, but these two are pretty cool. He takes ribbons from the ornaments and they use them for rings. Cool overload.

Carly goes back to Sonny’s house. They wish each other happy New year and kiss.

On the bus, Dillon and Kiki swig from the champagne bottle. He says it’s been a rough year, but they made it. They kiss.

No surprise, Maxie has fallen asleep. Nathan gets into bed beside her.

Robin calls Patrick, wishing him happy New Year.

Sam and Jason look forward to the year to come, and baby Scout.

Michael and Nell dance. Michael makes a sort of toast, saying to better days for all of us, as he twirls her around.

Andre tells Jordan that he loves her. She says she loves him too. They kiss.

Dante and Lulu toast to the year of their daughter.

Nina and Valentin are pronounced man and wife.

Tomorrow is rerun, but next week, Sam confronts Alexis, Franco insists that he didn’t kill Tom, and Lulu wonders how a fight with Nina could affect the custody case.

Quotes of the Week

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Carrie Fisher – funny, Caroline #1’s husband said almost the same thing to her on Ladies of London this week. It’s probably an old one, but we’ll give it to Carrie. RIP.

Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.Carrie Fisher, April 2013, in an interview with the Sarasota Herald-Tribune.

Really thin is not attractive. I was always little, but my mother was not a skinny lady. She had big boobs and a divine, voluptuous figure. I think everyone should get over the whole thin thing.Debbie Reynolds, The Telegraph, 2014.

The only way you learn is by failure.Debbie Reynolds

So farewell to the way-too-many we lost in 2016, looking forward to 2017, and wishing you all good things always. Stay safe on New Year’s Eve. See you next year!

happy-new-year-2017