Category Archives: nighttime drama

June 20, 2017 – GH Gets an AMC Addition, Rose is on the Warpath, Adam Redeems His Chef Title & a Coupla Thoughts


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Alexis sees Julian at the MetroCourt. She says she was looking for him. She tells him that Olivia-F has agreed to maintain the status quo. He says that’s good, but Alexis is surprised at his lack of reaction, and asks what’s on his mind.

Amy is a wreck. Nathan says he can tell, and not to make a big deal about it in her head. She says the publishing of the book is contingent on meeting Man Landers. He says he’s there, and she can do all the talking. She thanks him for stepping up when he didn’t have to. She doesn’t know how she’ll repay him. She throws her arms around him and they hug. Nina sees them.

Nelle asks a waitress if Kelly’s is hiring. She needs some steady income, and asks how long she’ll have to wait to find out if she’s hired. Bobbie pops out of nowhere, and says when hell freezes over.

Josslyn tells Michael that he’s the sanest person in the family next to her father, and asks if Carly is getting back together with Sonny.

In Puerto Rico, Sonny and Carly wait for the distributor. Sonny says he must be running on island time, and asks if she’d like to join him for breakfast.

Jason comes home and sees that Sam is awake. She asks how long she was out, and he says probably about ten hours. He tells her that she’s been operating on no sleep whatsoever, and she says she’s feeling better. She takes the knife out of her boot when he goes to the kitchen.

Amy says if they want Nathan’s real name, chalk it up to mystique. She says his suit is missing something, and takes a pocket square out of her purse, telling him it brings out the color of his eyes. Nina joins them, saying he’s looking sharp. She wants to know if Nathan wants to catch up, and he tells Amy he’ll meet her. Nina wonders what he’s been up to. It’s been difficult for her at work, finding a replacement for Maxie, and must be really difficult for him. He asks what’s with the hint dropping, and she asks what’s up with him and Amy.

Bobbie says Nelle will get a job there over her dead body; she’s co-owner. Nelle thought she was a nurse, and Bobbie says she has a lot of irons in the fire, so Nelle won’t be getting a job there. Nelle says she’ll look elsewhere. She knows Bobbie hates her and why, and asks if it’s now Bobbie’s life mission to destroy hers. Bobbie says go back to Atlanta, and she’ll wish her well. Nobody wants her in Port Charles.

Michael tells Josslyn that Sonny and Carly are on the island, since there was a problem with liquor distributor. Josslyn is like, please. She told Carly it was just a story, and got her phone confiscated and sent to her room for her trouble. Michael says that Carly is the mom, Josslyn is the kid, and she can’t police her mother. Josslyn says so she’s off to Puerto Rico with the man she’s supposed to be divorcing. She says that Michael is too smart to believe it. Sonny is going to try and get her back. Michael asks if that would be so bad. Josslyn says after what he did to her dad, she never wants to live under the same roof as him again.

Sonny tells Carly that no matter how it shakes out, she’s always welcome there; it’s her place too. She says the memories are enough. They toast with their coffee to good memories.

Alexis says maybe Julian’s visitation can be increased. He tells her that he needs to get back to the office, and promises they’ll talk soon. When she leaves, he approaches a guy at the bar. The guy, Kirby, says that Julian isn’t returning his phone calls. Julian says he’s out on bail, and things are hectic. Kirby says, not so fast, old friend.

Sam recalls getting into bed with the knife. Jason asks what she wants for breakfast, and then asks why she’s holding a knife. She says she found it on the coffee table, and Jason thinks he left it there. She says she feels a lot better and her head feels clearer, and apologizes for acting strange. Jason says no problem, and promises no more surprises or lack of communication.

Nina tells Nathan that she doesn’t want to pry, and that Amy is right about the pop of color bringing out his eyes. He says that he’s just doing a favor, and it’s nothing she needs to worry about. He says he’s not having an affair. He loves Maxie, but does have somewhere he has to go.

Nelle tells Bobbie she’ll stay out of her way if Bobbie stays out of hers. Bobbie says she has  better idea; Nelle should stay away from Michael. It’s sad that she can’t tell difference between affection and pity. Nelle flashes back to what Michael told her; how it wasn’t pity he felt. She tells Bobbie to forget she said anything, and starts to leave, but Bobbie grabs her arm. Nelle tells her to get off, and Nina comes in, asking if there’s  problem.

Josslyn talks to Michael about what a creep Sonny is, and how he’s affected Carly. She wants Carly to hate Sonny as much as she does. She tells Michael to talk to her and tell her to build a wall around her heart that Sonny can’t get past. Michael says it’s not up to them if she decides to forgive Sonny. Josslyn says she never will.

Carly tells Sonny that she can feel her blood pressure dropping, it’s so relaxing. Sonny gets a call. He says they’re staying there tonight.

Julian says that Kirby knows where all the bodies are buried, but Kirby says he’d never roll over on anyone, and his problem has more to do with tactics on the west coast. Julian tells Kirby to cut to the chase. Kirby says they want same thing – Sonny out of the picture for good.

Amy coaches Nathan. He tells her it’s going to be okay and take a deep breath. It’s Marian Colby! (Actually, it’s Jennifer Bassey playing new character Quinn Danvers.) Quinn says Amy must be the voice behind Man Landers, and Amy says she’s his manager. Quinn tells him that she’s a fan. Advice columns are a balancing act between sensitive and macho, and he’s impressive for a newcomer. Amy says he’s shy in person. Quinn says this isn’t a book tour, just a casual conversation, and wants Man Landers to speak for himself.

Nelle says she was just leaving, and Bobbie says not soon enough. She has to take a call, and suggests Nelle not be there when she gets back. Nelle thanks Nina. Nina doesn’t like to see someone getting kicked while they’re down. Nelle says she deserves it, and Nina asks why she’s choosing to stay in Port Charles.

Josslyn tells Michael not to act like he’s never been mad at Sonny. Michael says that the older he gets, he realizes that everything isn’t black and white. He forgives Sonny because he’s family. In life, people have disagreements, and if the both of them went at it, he’d never cut her out of his life. He tells her that nothing can change family, and they hug.

Kirby isn’t kidding around; it’s time for Sonny to go. Julian says that Kirby has a good thing going on the west coast. He should learn from his mistakes, and leave Sonny’s territory alone. His brother went up against Sonny’s associates, and it didn’t end well. Julian says the business comes with a risk, and he wouldn’t do anything unprovoked. Kirby talks about Ava, thinking Sonny has something to do with it, and they both have reason for payback. They should team up and make him an example. Julian says he has no reason to get involved. He’s out on bail and under surveillance; if he gets caught up in it, he’ll just get caught, and he wants something better for his future.

Sonny tells Carly that the distributor won’t be there until after 5 pm, so they can’t settle the problem until the morning. He says they can have dinner, and he can have the staff fix up a room for her. Carly accuses him of setting the whole thing up.

Quinn says she has high hopes for big sales. Man Landers’s writing speaks to the everyman demographic. It’s witty, insightful, and relatable, with enough flair to hold the reader’s attention. Nathan knows more than Amy thought, and is able to quote himself.

Kirby says that Julian doesn’t get to walk away. Julian says he’s the exception to the rule, and even if he wanted back in, who’d risk doing business with him? It’s better for them both if he doesn’t get involved. Kirby says he’ll take care of Sonny himself, but won’t forget Julian’s lack of solidarity. After he leaves, Alexis, who’s been lurking around, says that sounded intense. She came back because Julian was acting odd. She asks if he was expecting Kirby, and Julian says he’s been trying to avoid him. Alexis heard enough to know that Kirby is targeting Sonny.

Carly says she knows every move in Sonny’s repertoire. Sonny says she’s the owner; he doesn’t have any strings to pull. He tells her to call the distributor at 5:30, and she can double-check.

Sam tells Jason that moving forward, she’s not going to let her exhaustion spiral out of control since they have a tribe of babysitters. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Julian. Jason says it’s not a good time, but Julian asks Jason to hear him out; it’s important.

Carly tells Sonny she’s free for the night, and sorry for what she said. This place meant a lot to her, and she knew it would ignite memories. She didn’t want to miss what used to be. Sonny says they’re getting divorced, but it doesn’t mean they won’t be in each other’s lives or that she’s not important to him.

Bobbie runs to Michael, telling him that Nelle has no plans to leave, and she can’t help thinking he’s the reason. Nelle might have misconstrued his sympathy. He asks if she told Nelle that, and Bobbie says it’s typical of her to play victim; she’s working an agenda. Michael says that if Bobbie is right, it’s his mistake to make.

Nelle tells Nina she doesn’t want to go back to Florida or Atlanta. Nina asks what about somewhere else, but Nelle says it won’t matter without a job. Nina says she’ll give Nelle a good reference, but Nelle says it makes more sense financially to stay. Nina says Michael is the reason she’s staying, and Nelle says maybe, but it won’t matter unless she gets job. Nina tells her that she might have an alternative. It’s been chaotic since Maxie left. She has an assistant, but needs an office manager. She asks if Nelle is up for it.

Quinn takes a call in the other room. Nathan tells Amy he figured he should read up on her advice. He says that she’s a strong, compelling writer, but too bad she has to hide. She tells him again that men won’t take advice form a woman. He doesn’t like taking credit for her, but she says he’s doing her the favor of a lifetime, and the charade won’t be for much longer. Quinn walks in and asks what charade?

Jason invites Julian in. Julian appreciates Jason being protective. He tells them that Kirby wants Sonny eliminated.

Amy tells Quinn that she wasn’t talking about a literal charade, but everything is hypothetical until the contract is signed. Quinn says that she’s been given the green light for the book deal. Once the contract is finalized, they’ll have plenty of support, but first they need to have a photo shoot. She says that Nathan is a real gift from the publication gods; they’ll sell a lot of books with his picture.

Nelle says she feels that she’s qualified, but is Nina sure? Nina says it would make her life easier, and she feels like she owes Nelle. She clearly didn’t want to spy on Valentin, and Nina has regrets. She wants a chance to make it better. Nelle accepts the job.

Bobbie says that Michael is an adult, capable of making his own decisions, but as his grandmother, she’s always going to worry about him and give her opinion. It’s up to him whether he listens. He says that’s fair enough, and she says he’s like his mother – and her; he insists on making his own choices. He tells her that he’ll live with the consequences, and for the record, nothing has happened yet. Bobbie says, famous last words. Yep. Along with, watch this! She leaves, and Josslyn says he’s doing the same thing with Nelle that Carly is doing with Sonny. Michael says he can say all he wants, but Carly isn’t going to listen; she has to figure out for herself. Josslyn says she thinks he’s wrong and a possible hypocrite, but thanks for talking. Outside, she calls her friend Trina, saying that she has the house to herself tonight, so they can have some people over. That should be good.

Carly tells Sonny that it means a lot to her that they can be civil and respect each other. She says since they don’t have to work, she’s going to sit by the pool. He suggests a walk by the ocean.

Sam asks Julian why not go to Sonny? Julian says that Max probably has orders to shoot him on site. Jason wonders if it’s a trap. He tells them to ask Alexis; she was there. They can tell Sonny or not, but he thought they should know. He leaves, and Jason thinks he should call Sonny. Sam wonders if Julian is telling the truth, and Jason says, what if he is?

Carly tells Sonny, why not? Sonny says he’ll meet her outside. He misses Jason’s call.

Tomorrow, Quinn says no pictures no publication, Nelle thinks Charlotte should stay in Nina’s life, and there’s a mystery in Puerto Rico.

The Haves and the Have Nots

When we last left, Quincy Jr. had been shot. Benny says they have to get him to a hospital, but Hannah tells him that it’s too late. Someone yells to call for an ambulance. Benny tells Quincy Jr. that they’re getting him help, but I think we’re past that.

Jeffrey sees that Melissa has cut her wrists. He calls 911, and screams at her why did she do this? He gets some towels, and tries to stop the bleeding. He yells for his mother. He asks Melissa about her mother, and she says she’s just like his. He tells her that he doesn’t hate her, but she’s fading fast. He runs to Veronica’s room. She tells him she’s trying to sleep, and to put some bass in his voice. She sees blood on him, and wakes up quickly. He tells her it’s Melissa, and Veronica thinks she lost the baby. When she sees what’s going on, she tells Melissa that if she loses the baby, she’ll kill her herself, calling her a dumb bitch. She asks Jeffrey what he did. He says her dad died. Veronica said he was going to die anyway, and screams at Melissa that people die. Jeffrey tells her to shut up, and calls 911 again. She keeps smacking Melissa, and when Jeffrey tells her to stop it, claims she’s trying to save Melissa’s life. She tells Jeffrey the call is being recorded, and to shut up. He tells her not to hit Melissa again. Veronica tells Melissa that if she dies, she’ll make her family’s life a living hell. Jeffrey wants to stop the bleeding, and Veronica goes to get gloves. We hear the sirens, and he tells Veronica to go open the door.

Candace goes to Erica’s hotel room. Erica says she doesn’t have any money, and Candace says she knows. Erica is surprised that Candace didn’t get any marks tonight. She says the Presidential candidate Charles Frederickson is staying there, and David knows him. She thought Candace was staying at the Fountain Drop, but Candace says she’s staying in the same hotel that Erica is. Erica says David might be coming back, and Candace gives her the room number she’s in. She fixed the door so it stayed open after the guest left, and says she probably has until housekeeping comes. She gets a call from Benny, but she doesn’t answer.

Candace asks how it’s going with David, and Erica says it’s going. Candace asks if they’ve had sex yet, and Erica says they did, and under that suit is the body of an athlete. Candace says here she is with nothing again, and she’s been here before. Erica tells her no looking back, and Canace says she had millions. Erica says Candace is her girl, and she can borrow what she likes. While Candace looks in the closet, Erica texts War, telling him Candace is there. War tells her about the shootout, and that Quincy Jr. Is dead. He says let him know where Candace is in a couple of hours. Candace picks out a dress, and Erica says she was just texting good-night to David. Candace asks if she’s falling in love with him, but Erica says she’s not.

Erica asks if Candace is going to talk to Benny, but she says no. If Erica needs her, call the Batphone. I swear that’s what she said. Erica wants a hug, and Candace says she’ll call later. Erica asks if she wants to stay in her room for old time’s sake. Candace says she’ll call. I think she’s picking up a weird vibe.

Oscar sees David at the bar. He says it’s been a long night, and David says him too. Neither one of them want to talk about it, but David says maybe after a drink. Oscar thanks him for the Jim referral. He’s looking for Jim’s son. He asks if Wyatt is gay, since it gets a man to trust him easier, and David says no, but he has a mean drug problem. He says he thinks he blew it with Erica and pushed too hard. He didn’t do anything; they both decided not to, but suddenly she asked him to stop when they were making out. Oscar says she’s good, and David asks what he means. He says either it got too much for her to handle, or she didn’t like it, but David doesn’t think that’s it. Oscar says she could also be setting him up. David thinks Oscar has spent too much time with Candace. Oscar says that David is probably moving too fast, and to watch his heart. David says that’s not the part of his anatomy that needs attention. Oscar says he’s been able to get a lot of fortunes after a divorce, and sex is the quickest way to his heart; he needs to take his time. David gets a text from Erica saying she hopes he made it home safe. Oscar tells him to ride it out for tonight. Let her wonder where his head is. David doesn’t want to play games, but Oscar says there are new rules. David tells Oscar that he’s old school.

Jim arrives at the bar. David wonders what Candace is doing here, and Jim says probably doing what she does best. Jim says David is the only one in the room who hasn’t slept with her, and calls her over. She says, isn’t this predictable? Jim asks how she is, and she says as good as she looks. He tells her hiding isn’t her style, and David says maybe avoiding prison is; there’s a warrant out for her arrest. He says as an officer of the court he could do it, and there’s much joking about handcuffs. Jim says the photos are in possession of the police, and announces that Candace also killed Quincy and buried him in her backyard. David says that’s not very smart. Jim talks about nosy neighbor Pearl, and says there are cameras everywhere. Oscar asks what Quincy looks like, and Candace says he looks like the one who beat his ass before he ran out the door. She tells David that Jeffrey helped her. David doesn’t believe it. Jim asks to talk to Candace alone. Candace says she doesn’t think David will call the police until he checks in with his son.

Jim says he misses Candace. He asks if she has a room there, and she says no. He suggests they go to her place, and she asks if he means the one he foreclosed on. He knows she has nothing left, and asks if it was worth it. She says it was fun, and he asks who she’s blackmailing now. He tells her that he wants her, and she says he wants to trap her. He tells her to get over her suspicion, and holds out a drink. He says that he won; take the martini. She says she doesn’t want it or him. They banter a bit, and he keeps telling her to take the martini, reminding me of Ruth Gordon in Rosemary’s Baby for some reason. Candace says she has to go. Jim says he’ll be at the bar.

David calls Jeffrey and leaves a message to call him immediately.

Benny and Hannah sit in the hospital waiting room. Benny asks for the phone. He goes to make a call while Hannah sits dejected. Benny calls Kathryn. She asks what’s wrong and where’s Hannah? He says they need help; they’re at the hospital. He starts to cry, and says his nephew died. She asks how, and Benny tells her that he was shot. Kathryn asks what hospital, and says she’s on her way. He thanks her.

At Wyatt’s place, the interventionists can’t figure out why the detox isn’t working. They want to take him to the hospital, but he doesn’t want to go. They get him up and out.

Benny tries to give Hannah some water, but she doesn’t want it. She says they killed him. He had it hard, and she tried to give him a better life. Benny tells her not to get upset, but she doesn’t know how she can’t be. She says Candace doesn’t get it. It’s a cycle that just keeps going around and around, and getting worse and worse. She says there’s a loop, and it’s all going to come back around. She was trying to stop it before it was too late, and now he’s dead. She calls out to Jesus. Benny suggests they pray. He reminds her of a prayer she used to say with him. She says she can’t pray, and he tells her not to say that. He says let’s go back, but she says she can’t go back there. I think the room is probably going to be a crime scene for a while anyway. He tells her to stay there; he’s going to handle a few things.

Mitch shows up, and Benny starts to cry. Mitch tells him to be cool, and not let his mom see him. Rose appears with her crew. Mitch says it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Rose wants to know who shot at him, and Benny says it was War, and tells her where he is. Rose tells someone on the phone to put DA Jennifer’s body in the trunk of War’s car, and let all hell break loose. They have to send a message that it’s never right to go after a Malone.

Veronica asks if Jeffrey heard anything about the baby. He says he doesn’t know anything. Veronica goes to the desk, but the nurse says the doctor is with patients. Veronica says the only important patient is the one carrying her unborn grandchild. The nurse says she’ll page him when he’s done. Veronica says it would be a shame to spend all those years in nursing school to ask if you want fries with that. She tells the nurse that she wants to see a doctor within three minutes. She boots a lady out of the seat next to Jeffrey, and then boots her out of the next one she tries to sit in, saying it’s a private conversation. Jeffrey says she just can’t not be a bitch. She says he’s trying to be one. He says Melissa tried to kill herself because of Veronica. Veronica says don’t blame her; she didn’t hold the blade. She reminds him that she’s his attorney.

Veronica calls her maid, Rosita, saying that even though she has the day off, she has to come in or risk her job. Or she could come tonight. Melissa had an accident, and she needs the house around it cleaned. She says she doesn’t care about the bus. She tells Jeffrey it’s not her problem if Rosita has to get a bus at 4 am. That’s probably going to be another crime scene. For a bunch of people who are all involved in law somehow, no one ever thinks of that.

David calls Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he’s at the hospital and explains. David asks if Veronica is behind it, and Jeffrey says he knows it. David says he’s on his way, but Jeffrey says she’s here. David says he has to talk to Jeffrey in person. Veronica asks what he wants, and Jeffrey says he was just checking up on him. Veronica asks if he’s coming, and when Jeffrey says he is, she says that’s good. She checks herself out in her compact, and complains about the bags under her eyes. Jeffrey says she has no sympathy at all, and she says no, she doesn’t. At least you know where you are with this sociopath.

Suddenly, Kathryn is standing in front of Veronica.

Next time, Oscar wants Candace to be his partner, Rose tells Jim that she wants to send a clear message, and Kathryn comforts Hannah. It looks like a great season to come with “twisted, tantalizing Tyler.”

Below Deck Mediterranean

I hope no onions are involved with this charter.

Adam leaves the dinner on the crew’s night off, and Malia follows Adam back to the boat because they’re both middle schoolers. Hannah asks where Adam went, and I laugh when Bugs says that he went “home.” I guess it is when you’re on charter. Max says that killed the vibe, and Wes no longer wants to know Malia.

Omg, Malia and Adam talk like something out of a bad romance novel. You came all the way back just for me? We might be connecting on a level that’s surpassing the yacht relationship. Gag. She asks if he wants to party, and he says he’s a good bartender. She asks if he’s going to put onions in it, and I have to admit that’s pretty funny.

Hannah and Lauren talk about Bugs. Hannah says ever since Adam made the comment that Bugs should be chief stew, she hasn’t said a word. They go outside for a smoke. Hannah talks about having Bugs’s back when her grandmother died, and now she has nothing in return. Lauren says she hopes to be half the chief stew Hannah is one day. Hannah says she’ll always have Lauren’s back.

Adam kisses Malia as fireworks literally go off. Now we’re in a Hallmark movie. She knows everyone will be talking, but doesn’t care. Oh, you will. The others head back to the boat. Malia and Adam pretend to be eating in the galley. Adam sneaks more kisses. Wes says she chose the d*ck. Yep. He tells Bobby they all got played. In his interview, he says he has a crush on Malia, but he feels for Wes, pointing out that Adam is the one who just jeopardized their tip.

Bugs tells Hannah she hopes Hannah sorted out what she needed to. Max tells Bobby that he deserves better. Everyone turns in.

We flash back to Captain Sandy calling out Adam. He says he’s definitely on her radar now. Wes thinks maybe he misread signals. He talks to Bugs about Hannah. She doesn’t think it’s right how Hannah is treating her, because she isn’t the one who said anything, even if she thinks it. Wes says he’s there for her.

The captain goes over the new preference sheets. Primary guest Jason has recently left his finance career, and is considered one of the most eligible bachelors in Dallas. Hannah thinks he’ll be d-bag central and they’ll all be high maintenance. They’ve requested a Cuban dinner, and a white party with a 7-course meal, each dish representing a different color. Why? Who knows. Captain Sandy says all eyes are on Adam, especially hers. Ha-ha!

Bugs asks Hannah if they’re good. In her interview, Bugs says she’s not good with unresolved feelings, and thinks they should hash it out and move forward. Hannah says that she didn’t like the situation with Adam, and Bugs says it wasn’t cool. She didn’t think it was right, and he was unprofessional. She wanted to leave it behind, but felt excluded at the crew dinner. Hannah says Adam has been going at her all season, and since Bugs and Adam seem to have a friendly relationship, it was easier for her to chat with Lauren. In her interview, Hannah calls girl code. Bugs says she supports Hannah, and has her back. Hannah hopes the next charter goes more smoothly.

The crew readies the yacht. Adam asks to talk to Hannah. He says he owes her an apology. She says more than anything, she was bothered by what he said to Bugs because it diminishes her rank. In his interview, it’s dawned on Adam that this is his job, and he needs to make amends. Hannah doesn’t really trust him, but tells him she’s good, and they hug it out.

The guests arrive. The girls are stunned by Jason’s beauty, but IMO he’s no Marc Singer. Hannah does the tour thing. She’s trying to figure out the romance situation, hoping none of the women are with Jason. The captain calls Malia to the bridge, and tells her she’s going to take the boat off the dock. In her interview, Malia says she’s always wanted to outrank her brother, who’s a military captain.

Hannah tells Adam the primary isn’t a d-bag. That will teach her to judge a guest by his headshot. Wes and Malia work together. Wes is tempted, but in his interview, says first time, shame on you, and you know the rest. Bobby is hoping he gets a chance to take the boat off the dock, and likes how the captain lets them be involved. Malia likes how Captain Sandy puts them in situations where they can fail. She’s nervous, but the captain guides her through. Success!

Geez, Jason is a nice guy, offering to help Hannah. Adam is relieved to be chopping onions, but Captain Sandy just wants him to stay focused on his job. In his interview, Max talks about the last stern tie being a fail, and hopes this one works out better. It goes well, and the captain says they keep improving. Hannah goes over the schedule with the guests. She’s excited for the Cuban theme party, since she was just there. I want to go!

One of the ladies offers Bobby a cocktail, but he can only wish. Wes goofs around with Malia. Why? Hannah welcomes a Cuban musician on board. The crew sets up the party in a cove. The stews discuss Jason. Hannah says they can’t go there with charter guests, but if anyone could tempt her, it would be him. The guests shove off for the party.

Pictures are taken while they still have light. Hannah gives everyone shots, and Jason says she’s a mind reader. At the yacht, Max talks to his girlfriend on the phone, and asks when she’s coming to see him. We see photos, and they’re a cute couple. Ooh, the cove is nice in candlelight. The deckhands carry the female guests to the return boat, and Jason jokes about Hannah carrying him. Adam prepares dinner, and hopes nothing gets sent back.

Max’s girlfriend is coming on Tuesday. He suggests a double date with Malia and… somebody. The female guests check out the galley, and they’re thrilled when Bobby walks through, letting him know that one of them is single. In his interview, he says cougars are flirting with him right and left, but he can’t get a flirt out of Malia. Dinner is served, and all goes well.

After dinner, Jason asks Hannah to join them for a drink, but she says she can’t. He tells her if she’s scared just say so. The guests want to look at the crew’s quarters and the crew mess (where the crew eats, not the mess in their quarters), although I’m not sure why, since it’s an imposition. Bobby says he’s scared of Tina, who must be the single one. He says that the cougar wants the cub, but not vice versa. The guests move on to the hot tub.

Hannah brings the guests drinks. Jason gets his phone wet, and she offers to put it in rice, but he believes it’s beyond saving. In her interview, she says he’s got a great body, and there’s nothing wrong with a 40-year-old having a 20-year old’s body, and the bank account of a 70-year-old. Or something like that. She chats with Jason on the deck while having a smoke, and he asks her questions about yachting. In her interview, Bugs thinks it’s unheard of and unacceptable for a chief stew to be flirting with a charter guest, and she’s dumbfounded. Maybe just dumb. It’s not like they were acting inappropriately.

I am so fascinated with Croatia. And so wish I could go on one of these charters. It looks heavenly – the scenery, the food, the everything. Although getting there is not half the fun. Love traveling; hate the process. The guests go ashore, and Adam starts preparing the 7-course meal. The deckhands play with helium, which never gets old. Captain Sandy goes over alternatives for the guests who don’t like seafood with Adam. This has to be embarrassing. It’s pretty bad when the captain feels the need to go over the menu with the chef. Lauren feels like she’s in the middle of Hannah and Bugs, who are both giving her orders.

Hanna goes over the schedule with Bugs. Hannah is going for a nap, and in her interview, Bugs thinks that’s unacceptable too, and tells us that she’d never do that before a guest party. Hmm… I’m seeing how this one could become a problem. Adam should have kept his mouth shut.

The dinner table décor is amazing – white balloons, crystal, pearls, other white stuff, appetizers in fancy spoons. The appetizer doesn’t even sound like something I’d like, since it involves fennel, but I’d eat ten of them. Jason is impressed with the details, and tells Hannah that they weren’t expecting anything so amazing. The different colored courses turn out to be fun. One course is seared tuna, with beets for the non-seafood people. Now we’re talking my language. In the galley, Hannah asks Bugs if they’re good, and Bugs says they are, but her face says something different. Jason is also impressed with the food. The scales are officially tipping in Adam’s favor.

Two of the guests don’t eat pork, and one whispers to Bugs that she’d like a chicken breast instead. Hannah says the guest doesn’t know how to write, and Adam is concerned about his redemption night. He makes the chicken, claiming he’s never saying no again. The same guest, who Hannah calls “Plastic Fantastic,” bitches about the salt in one of the dishes. Lauren tells Hannah that she’s getting frustrated, and feels like she has two chief stews. Hannah says it’s her fault for giving Bugs too much power. The guests compliment the chef, and Adam hopes this is a step forward. Hannah has a shot with the guests, which bugs Bugs.

The guests start to turn in. Hannah runs after Jason and…

Next time, Adam tells Hannah she’s not perfect, Bugs outs Hannah texting a guest, Max’s girlfriend arrives, Wes kisses Malia (shame me twice, shame on me), and it’s revealed that Adam hooked up with Malia before the show.

🏝 Well, what did I say? Apparently, the producers of Bachelor in Paradise have found no wrongdoing on the part of any contestant. Like that cop after the Tawana Brawley scandal, DeMario Jackson must be wondering where he goes to get his reputation back.

☮ Just a thought. Instead of attacking every fart Donald Trump blows, we should be going after the real enemy. Ourselves.


June 18, 2017 – What Happened to Daniel, a Little TV Tea & My Favorite Canine Papa


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



Fear the Walking Dead

We look out over a bunch of cities from the top of a cliff. A lone zombie wanders the highway. Wait, it’s not a zombie – it’s Daniel. He’s desperate for water, but there’s none to be found. He shuffles behind a truck, hiding from a mini-horde of zombies. The last one turns and sees him. They shuffle at the same pace, Daniel not too far ahead. He hides under a car, but she pulls at his leg. A dog distracts her. Daniel quietly freaks.

Daniel can hear the zombie skulking around as he hides. He sees a pair of boots, and the zombie is taken down. He’s pulled out from under the car. A guy tells him to relax. He sees a wound on Daniel’s leg. Daniel says it had him, but let him go. The guy introduces himself as Efrain, and tells Daniel that he’s dying. Daniel yells for water. Efrain says the good news is that he has water and is happy to share it; the bad news is that they have to walk. He helps Daniel up.

They go into a building and Efrain shuts the gate. It looks like a warehouse flea market. Efrain leads Daniel to a fountain, but it’s dry. He asks where the water is, and Efrain says it shouldn’t be long. The word agua is heard repeatedly over a loudspeaker, and water begins to pour from the spout. Daniel drinks, and Efrain fills a jug. He says every week at this same time, a little miracle. He puts the jug on his bike and peddles away through the zombies, with Daniel in a cart at the front. Daniel is like, hey stairs! but Efrain drives his bike right up them. He’s got a stick for errant zombies, but doesn’t need it.

Efrain drives into an alley where several people are gathered. Daniel keels over, and they hide behind a dumpster. A truck goes by, crowded with men looking around. Someone in the group says that they’re coming by more often now.

Efrain discusses Daniel’s wound with a woman named Lola, who thinks that Daniel could possibly lose his leg. Daniel mumbles about a horse, and Lola asks if he’s a Broncos fan. The wound has to be scraped. Daniel says it take a steady hand, and Lola tells him to try not to scream. Efrain gives him some booze, and Lola sings. Daniel sings with her. She scrapes the wound, and it’s painful just to watch.

Fast forward, and Daniel and Efrain are scavenging. Daniel looks through a photo album. Efrain knocks down a zombie, and tells him to hurry up. Efrain gives the zombie Last Rites before finishing it off. Daniel asks if Efrain was a priest, and Efrain says he’s been many things and he found his calling. He pulls out a flask, and takes a drink, offering it to Daniel. They toddle off with the cart.

Efrain takes Daniel to where he lives, saying all are welcome. He shares some food. Daniel says he’s been kind. He didn’t have to help him, but he did. Daniel asks when he last had a professional haircut, and styles Efrain’s hair. Efrain says it’s been a while since he saw himself, and thanks Daniel. He asks when Daniel is going to sneak out. He knows running when he sees it, and something worse than Daniel’s leg is rotting in him. Daniel says he’s a bad guy, and he pays his debts. He’s killed ninety-six people. Efrain says that’s not it though. They share a bottle of liquor, and Daniel tells Efrain about leaving El Salvador, and how he never told his daughter about his past. Efrain says the burden was his, and asks if Danial is looking for his daughter. Daniel nods.

He tells Efrain that they were in a house surrounded by death, and he was trying to protect her, but his mind wasn’t right. He woke up in a fire, and could hear her calling. He was trapped, and burning, and the ceiling was collapsing. Somehow, he got out, but then he collapsed. When he came to, no one was left alive. Efrain asks what he’s saying. Daniel says he doesn’t know if he burned his daughter alive, and to forgive him. Efrain isn’t so sure forgiveness is his to bestow. He half-hugs Daniel, and tells him to take it easy. He says the good news is, there’s nobody left in this world to judge him; the bad news… he nods off. Daniel covers him with a blanket and jets.

Daniel travels down the highway with a lantern. He pops a zombie in the head with a shovel, sending it into the canal. He tries for another, but loses his weapon. Great. He opens his arms and awaits his fate. The zombie falls, but so does he, with his feet dangling in the current.

Daniel watches some clean-up guys do a coin toss to see who gets to clean the sewer pipe he’s in. They pull out some bodies smushed together with a carpet of leaves and laugh. Daniel rises from the leaves, and I’m surprised neither one of them has a heart attack. They take him to an office and discuss what to do, afraid that they’ll get nailed for sneaking him in. Lola walks in, and says she knows who he is, and they did the right thing in hiding him.

Lola explains that Daniel is at the Gonzalez Dam. Daniel asks why they’re hogging the water when people are dying of thirst? Lola tells him that there’s a new boss making decisions, the President of Tijuana. Daniel asks how much control she has, and she tells him that he never met her before today. He came there looking for a job. A guy breezes in, asking what Daniel is doing there, and Lola tells Daniel that he’s J.C., head of security. She says she hired Daniel because they need more help; they don’t want dead bodies building up in the water system.  J.C. suggests that he discuss this with the boss, but Lola tells him his job is security, hers is water treatment. Let her do her job, and go do his. He nods, and leaves. Daniel is impressed.

Daniel is now on the clean-up crew. He looks at the trucks, and asks another worker if he doesn’t have a problem with the distribution of water. The worker says it’s either get eaten, shot, or work. What’s it gonna be?

It’s dinnertime, and Daniel has an entire can of SPAM on his plate. Unappetizing to say the least. The big boss, Mr. Dante, comes in, and everyone stands up except Daniel. Dante tells everyone to sit, and they go back to eating. J.C. asks Daniel why he didn’t stand, and Daniel says he didn’t know he was supposed to. J.C. says, well, he is, and he’s also supposed to look at J.C. when he’s talking to him. J.C. leans over and puts his middle finger in the middle of Daniel’s SPAM. Daniel stabs him with his fork, and J.C. draws his gun. Dante comes back and asks what’s going on. J.C. whines that he was stabbed, but Daniel says he was just eating. Dante asks what his name is and where he’s from. Daniel tells him, and Dante wonders if he’s Sergeant and NCO Salazar. He looks at the tattoo in Daniel’s mouth. He says, Sombra Nega, which I googled, and it’s a name for El Salvadorian death squad groups. Dante tells J.C. that he needs to read more. He’s picking a fight with a CIA trained killer. He asks how many communists Daniel killed, and Daniel says he lost count. Dante tells everyone that they have a guest, and leads Daniel away.

Daniel questions the way Dante is using the dam, and Dante tells him that it might be the apocalypse, but it’s not communism. He asks what Daniel wants and needs, and says to speak freely. Danial asks if Dante can lend him a jeep; he’s looking for someone. Dante says sure, but his talents deserve more. If Daniel works for him, he’ll give him something befitting of his stature. He holds out his hand.

Daniel is on a truck, looking for a thief. It’s the same kind of truck Efrain and his friends were hiding from. Daniels sees where Efrain lives but says nothing. The truck busts into the warehouse where Daniel got the water. The fountain is dry, and Daniel still says nothing. J.C. says, nothing there, and Daniel looks at the clock. Sh*t. They’re going past the fountain right when it turns on. Sh*t. The water starts to drip, and Daniel panics. The agua announcement is made, but Daniel creates a distraction, saying he found something. He points and says, there’s your thief.

Daniel tells Lola that he had to; they were going to find the fountain. She says he saved Daniel’s life. He says first they’ll find Efrain, and then her; then they’ll both be killed. He did it to protect her. Lola tells him that if she stops running the water, the people will die. Not from bites or gunshots, but of thirst. Daniel says if they find her, there won’t be anything he can do. She says Dante is right; he’s perfect for this place. He tells her to do what she wants, but he warned her, adding not to save people who are already dead.

Daniel sees the guy he pointed out being beaten. He’s taken to a cell, and Daniel brings him a canteen of water. It’s Victor, and we’re back to the ending of last week’s episode. He tells Victor that he said he’d be his guardian angel, and Victor says, or angel of death. Victor wonders how Daniel got out, and Daniel asks if Ofelia is alive. Victor says they fled the compound, and they all thought he was dead, but she’s alive. He tells Daniel that Ofelia is holed up in a hotel. It will take a day, maybe less, to get there. He says to get him out, and he’ll take Daniel to her; she’s waiting for him. Daniel just looks at him.

He calls Victor an s.o.b, saying he doesn’t believe Ofelia is waiting for him. Victor says she survived the fire, and Daniel tells him that he’ll says anything to save his life. He tells Victor that this place is perfect for him. He’ll rot there, like the dead. He says Ofelia is dead, her father is dead, and so is Victor. Victor says that Daniel owes him, but Daniel just keeps walking. Interesting.

Dante announces that the expert is here. A circle of men parts, and Efrain looks at Daniel. Dante asks what Daniel needs, and Daniel says just space. He goes up to Efrain, and talks quietly to him. He says that if Efrain talks, they’ll kill him, and then Lola. If he doesn’t talk, Daniel will kill him. All he can offer is to do it as fast as he can. Efrain says those aren’t options, and Daniel asks Efrain to forgive him. Efrain says, again?

Daniel punches Efrain a bunch of times, saying, confess! Daniel tells Dante that he isn’t going to speak, but Dante says he will, and to keep going. Daniel picks up a hammer. Lola says, enough, leave him alone, and runs to Efrain, crying and hugging him. Daniel drops the hammer.

The lot of them are on a very high ledge on the dam, along with a few other people. Dante says to let it be a lesson that when you steal from him, this is what happens.  Daniel takes the first guy out of the line. Dante tells the guy that he just needs a messenger pigeon to tell the others. The guy thinks he’s cheated death somehow, but Dante hoists him over the railing, and down he goes. Next, Daniel chooses Lola. Dante asks if Daniel is ready. When Daniel hesitates, Dante tells J.C. to do it. Daniel shoots J.C., and throws the other henchman over the railing. Dante is all offended, saying he let Daniel in, but he’ll always be a goddam dog. Daniel says nothing, and just shoots him, and I laugh.

Daniel hands Lola the gun, gets on his knees, and asks her to forgive him. He bows his head. She holds out her hand, and he takes it.

Next time, a fire at the ranch, Troy has a calling, and Victor is surrounded.

I knew it. Jesse Borrego is playing Efrain. He was in one of my favorite 80s TV shows, Fame. At the time, I’d decided VCRs were invented just so I could record that show. The tapes are still in the black hole around here somewhere.


☎ Better Call Saul is having its season finale on Monday, Jun 19th. You can actually watch too much TV, and I kind of lost track of this show along the way, but it’s very good. It’s clever, and like TV’s hooker with a heart of gold.

🏛 I have no idea why I’d thought The Real Housewives of Potomac was going to give some actual sophistication to the franchise, but I couldn’t have been further off. I definitely think that this bunch is the most focused on money, and comparing who has more of whatever. That makes me wonder if they’re the group with the least amount money. Ashley told us she still needs to work on both her marriage and the restaurant, since passive/aggressive Michael made some changes to the latter while she was in Bermuda. Although when both of them agreed that the marriage was more important in less than five minutes time, I wondered if all this hands-on management was just for storyline. Charisse held an opening for her champagne room, and cut a ribbon, making this the most excessive thing I’ve ever seen on any Wives show. And that includes Heather Dubrow’s skabillion dollar mansion and the birthday party Taylor Armstrong had for her toddler. This week, the girls also had an overabundance of time to spend analyzing why Karen was downsizing her living quarters. Refusing to descend from the cloud that she lives on, when someone pointed out that Karen would no longer be living in Potomac, she told them that was “a matter of opinion.” Funny, I thought it was a matter of zip code. Next time, a Bollywood party where Monique attends appropriating the wrong Indian culture, and wearing a feather headdress.

🍺 It looks like What Happens at the Abbey has been relegated to midnight status. And rightly so. It doesn’t need to be taking up the space of a show that has some genuine direction.

Quote of the Night & One More for the Dads

You don’t mess with a man’s SPAM.Rueben Blades (Daniel, FTWD) on Talking Dead

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person — he believed in me.Jim Valvano

CaseyInTie (2)

💖 One of my favorite dads, Casey 💖

June 11, 2017 – Victor Meets an Old Friend, Bermuda on the Potomac & Red Violet


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



Fear the Walking Dead

I’m desperately hoping we get to see Travis as a zombie.

We hear a voiceover telling us that the great American experiment has failed, and it’s time to start over. We see Jeremiah in a video, saying we need to be prepared. He’s advertising a video tape set that teaches one how to survive what he calls teotwawki or TE. But wait there’s more! You get a survival bucket at no extra cost. His tagline is, if you’re going to plan for a future, plan for a better one, as he and his family wave cheerily at the camera. That was actually fun to watch. They need more of that.

The settlers are having a meeting under a tent outdoors. A woman talks about losing a child because she thought she could fly, and jumped off the roof. Looking at Madison, she says her daughter’s life was risked for the unprepared. Madison gets up, offers condolences, and introduces Nick and Alicia. She says they’ve lost loved ones too. She says Travis was their compass, and thanks them for their generosity. Jake gets up and says grieving is hard, but they need to process it. Vernon says what they need to do is prepare. He wants to know why the helicopter fell. Jeremiah tells him that when they know what they’re dealing with, they’ll act. Jake says whatever threat it is, they’ll mete out justice when they get the details.

Alicia nearly gets in an argument with another settler, and tells them that they should be harassing Troy, not her family. Vernon’s daughter, Gretchen, apologizes for their loss, and asks if Alicia would like to join a Bible study. They also have a band. Alicia says they’re Jewish, but Gretchen says, cool, they’ll do the Old Testament. Well, that didn’t work.

Nick tells Luci that they’ll take the cuffs off soon, and she can see the place. She says she’s seen enough; she can’t forget what they did. As soon as she’s freed, they’ll go. Nick just wants them all to feel safe in one place. He says he had a chance to make that happen, to kill him. She says it wouldn’t have made them safe, and Nick isn’t a killer.

Madison finds Troy lolling about in a bunk. He says he likes the way she says Travis’s name, which is really, really weird. He asks what she did before, and she says she was a guidance counselor. He tells her that certain aspects of academia proved challenging, so he never went to high school. He says everything he does is in service to the ranch. She asks if his father knows that. Troy says complicated things need complicated solutions, and Madison says killing people isn’t complicated. He tells her that’s why he picked her – he didn’t pick Nick. She says Nick comes with her. He says that Nick doesn’t deserve this place.

Victor drives along a coastal road. He drives past a load of people waiting in a long line. He asks if the guard knows a Mr. Dante; he’s a friend. The guy tells him to get in line like everyone else. Victor offers him a watch (I think; I didn’t get a good look), but the guard tosses it away. He wrestles Victor to the ground and draws his gun. Victor says it’s a mistake. A guy leans over Victor, saying he looks like sh*t. I assume this is Dante.

Nick tells Madison that they’re not wanted at the ranch. Madison says they’ll win over the ones who don’t want them there. She tells them to stay away from Troy, who’s a work in progress. Nick says he’s got to do something. He thinks they should start over somewhere else. Madison says they’re not leaving; there’s no place better. They hauled him out of a hellhole, and Travis died for it. Nick says Luci won’t be safe there. He asks what if they let her go, and Madison says he’ll have a choice to make then.

Jake tells Jeremiah something is wrong. They haven’t heard back from the group that left to find out what happened with the helicopter. Madison walks in, and says she needs reassurance; some people resent them. Jeremiah says they’re strangers. Madison says, not to Troy. She’d like a leash put on him, and help with the others. Jeremiah say it’s a place where people ask for help when they need it. Madison tells him that she needs it, and she’s asking. He says she’s hard to like. She says Troy threatened her family; he murdered people, and called it science. She says maybe they should know that. Jeremiah says if his people take umbrage at their presence, that’s on her. He tells he that he won’t let anyone drown without teaching them to swim.

Alone with Madison, Jake asks if Troy hurt her. She asks if he’s always been that way. Jake says he’ll take care of Troy, and she says he and his dad keep saying that. She thanks him for saving Alicia, and he says she saved him too. She asks if he’s worried about the helicopter. He tells her that it was probably a crackpot scavenger. Madison says she wants to meet whoever it is.

Alicia watches the horses. Nick asks her about riding, but she says she’s not ready. She tells him he’s invited to the Bible study. He asks if she wants to stay, and she says no. She tells him that what Madison said wasn’t fair, and he says she’s wrong. Alicia says that this is no time to form a conscience. He asks what happened to her, but she walks away.

Jake finds Troy fixing a fence. He tells Troy to stay away from Madison and her family. He promised them he’d protect them from him. He says he still believes in Troy, but if the ranch knew what he really is… Troy asks what is he? Jake says when dad’s gone, it’s on them; they’ll have to lead together. He needs Troy to stay away from the Clarks. Troy says he hears him. Jake asks if he means it, and Troy says he always does.

Gretchen and a couple of the teenagers take Alicia to an underground place in the middle of the forest. Gretchen tells everyone to get out their study materials. Alicia is handed a humongous bong. She says this isn’t what she expected. Nor would I. Everyone paraphrases Bible verses. Gretchen opens a metal drum and takes out a bird cage. It’s Geoff. Geoff is a head, and I don’t mean of the game. Everyone sits watching Jeff drool and rattle his teeth. Alicia starts to laugh. Alrighty then.

Madison watches outtakes from the video. It’s Jeremiah arguing with his wife, who’s half In the bag, and yelling at the kids. The cameraman tells him to let her go, and he says, shut your mouth. Jeremiah walks in, and says not his finest moment. Madison asks what happened to their mom. He says Troy’s mom. Jake’s mother was his first wife, who died…before. Madison says her father was a drunk, and it killed her. Jeremiah says that the second Mrs. Otto went downhill. Troy took care of her while he was busy selling buckets, and she resented him for it.

Victor and Dante have a drink and talk about old times. Dante assumes that Thomas didn’t make it, and Victor shakes his head. Dante says all Victor has now is his wit, charm, and a crunchy suede coat. Victor says don’t forget his good looks. Dante says it’s good to have him back, and they toast.

The kids pretend to communicate (or maybe they are) through Geoff. They tell Alicia that he wants to know what it’s like “out there.” She tells them that it changes you into something worse than Geoff. She asks who the Ottos are. One of the kids says that Jeremiah saw it coming, and made the place before he was born. Gretchen says Geoff was the first zombie they saw. She says he’s indifferent on the Ottos, except for Troy. She tells Alicia that Troy and the militia do what they can’t – protect them. Alicia tells them that you can’t depend on others; you have to handle your own sh*t. Gretchen says that Geoff wants to know what bad stuff she’s done out there, and Alicia says she killed a man. Gretchen asks how it felt, and she says easy.

Dante shows Victor around the dam he’s taken over. Two guys are about to throw someone off a very high wall. Dante tells Victor that the man used to be in a cartel, and there’s no room for such people. Dude is tossed off the wall and into a pile of zombies, who immediately jump all over him and start feasting. The guys grab Victor. Dante asks if he thinks they were friends in the old world. Back then, Victor wanted people’s land; now he wants Dante’s water. Victor says food, shelter, and a cocktail suffices, but Dante says nothing suffices; it’s not in Victor’s nature. Victor is held over the edge of the balcony. Victor says it’s only a matter of time before someone else takes it, and not him. He says Dante needs transport and guns, and men to guard them. Water is the new currency, and he can organize it. Dante asks how he can trust a thief, but Victor says he never stole from Dante. Dante says he stole from Thomas, and asks if Thomas died believing that Victor loved him. Victor says he did love Thomas, and nearly gets pushed over the wall. Dante says that Victor exploits everything he touches, and owes him a debt. He’s going to work it off, and he’ll feel like those he took from – powerless. Victor is led away. Yikes.

Nick watches an old couple dance on their patio. Troy approaches him, and asks if he wants to join a hunting party. He says they can catch scavengers sneaking around in the dark, and it’s more maintenance than hunting, more cultivating than killing. He tells Nick to get in and earn his keep. They drive away.

Madison is out walking. Jeremiah tells her that Nick went with Troy on a hunting trip. She says he’s a city boy who’s never even dealt with a gun (I dunno about that, since he was a heroin addict and lived on the streets), and asks how long it lasts. Jeremiah says a couple of hours to all night, and they’ll come back safe. Madison says that her daughter is finding God. Jeremiah offers her a cigarette. I see a T-shirt in my head: My daughter got offered a huge bong and all I got was a lousy cigarette. She tells Jeremiah that her kids never had any place to feel safe, and that Nick is an addict. She told him that if he left, she’d let him go, but here they are. Jeremiah says the things they do to their children, and the things they do to make up for it. He asks if she wants to know why he tolerates his son.

The hunting party has dogs. While I couldn’t care less about the people, now I have a pack of German Shepherds to worry about.

Jeremiah takes Madison under the house. It has steel shelving laden with supplies, and he calls it the pantry. He says some people think what’s happened is God’s vengeance, but he thinks it’s an opportunity for a new life and to make amends. The new world has a purpose, and nothing heals a family more than that. They’ll build something better than before, but it won’t be easy. He asks if her family is up for it, and she says absolutely.

Troy sees someone wandering. Nick ambushes him from behind, and throws him to the ground. Troy says the ground is soft, and he could dig a grave easily; probably no one would suspect him. Nick asks how long it will take him to turn, and he tells Nick that if he does it, to time it; the journal is in his pocket. Nick says he’s not a scientist, and asks Troy what’s wrong with him. Troy says that Newton stabbed own eye to understand nature of light, and he needs to know. Nick shoots, but the bullet hits next to Troy’s head. Nick takes the journal and starts to tear it up. They fight, and Nick laughs like the lunatic he’s becoming. Troy says he thinks they can be friends now, like the lunatic he already is.

Madison visits Luci, and says she should be sleeping. Luci thanks her for waiting for her to heal before they leave, and says that she’s sorry about Travis; he saved her life. Madison says he was a good man, much better than her. He saved them all, and they can’t throw it away. They survive at all costs now.

Alicia and crew return. Jake asks if they’re turning water into wine, and she says, praise Jesus. Ha-ha! A pig roast is happening, which is perfect for the munchies. Jake talks to Jeremiah. Jeremiah makes an announcement that they still haven’t heard anything back from the group that went out, and they have to be prepared. Troy is taking a party out, but they need volunteers. Several men volunteer, and Madison raises her hand. They all look at her. Why is that so weird? I guess they are really out of touch with what’s happening everywhere. Madison sits next to Troy. He says her kids are at another table. She says she knows.

Victor awaits his fate in a cell. Someone sets a flask on the ledge. He smells it, then drinks greedily. Daniel appears, and says he knew Victor would drink it all, and that Daniel had told him that he’d be his guardian angel.

Next time, Daniel tells Victor that he’ll rot in there, someone else gets dropped into the zombie pile, zombies on a bus, and what happened to Daniel.


🏛 On The Real Housewives of Potomac, Karen arranged a trip to Bermuda so the girls could get to know one another better. Why? Every time I watch this show, I want to know them less. Gizelle insulted Monique in her interview, saying that she’s “educated” and Monique “can’t hold a candle to this.” Omg. Honestly, this is the worst bunch of women ever. I want to see Gizelle’s diploma. She couldn’t even think up a new tagline this time around, using the same one as last season – and this is only their second season. She’s so educated, she can’t even think up two different sentences. She also wore some very scary purple eye shadow (I think Crayola would call it red violet) that matched her dress. Is that what she meant by “this?” No, no, and no. The good news is that Ashley had success, both with the opening of her restaurant, and keeping her marriage together. Of course the whole girls trip was a disaster. I might start using the word “janky” though.

🏖 The Real Housewives of the OC returns on Monday, July 10th, at 9 pm.



June 4, 2017 – Return to Fear & Good-by to Amish


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



Fear the Walking Dead

It’s ba-a-a-ack! Now if I can just remember everyone’s names.

Travis and company have been captured. They’re dragged past fields of rotting corpses, and are thrown into trucks. It’s some kind of military operation, or at least looks like one. They’re driven to a camp and are separated. Travis hears screams, and sees a guy getting a number written on his forehead. Travis is weighed and measured, and a number is written on his hand. He’s left in a supply room where there are a bunch of other people.

Travis sees Nick. Luci’s head rests on his shoulder. I’d better clarify that – her body is attached to it.

Travis sits next to Nick and tells him that his mother has been taken somewhere else. He asks about Chris, but Travis says nothing. Luci asks if he saw anyone at the border, but he says just the dead. Nick says he thought it was a refugee camp. Travis says they’ll get out of there – all of them.

Alicia and Madison look around the office they’ve been deposited in, but can’t find anything. A soldier brings some tea and introduces himself as Troy. He says they shouldn’t have been handled so roughly, but it was security protocol. He says that Travis is being processed. Madison tells him they’re looking for her son, Nick, and need his help. He wants to know why they came from Mexico, and Madison says a friend had a place there, and asks him to let them go. She says her son is out there alone, and if it was him, his mother would do anything to find him. Troy says his mother passed, and he doesn’t get lost much anyway.

Alicia asks what happens after they’re processed. Troy says they get supplies and off they go. Really? He leaves them.

Troy confers with some other soldiers. They look at forehead number guy’s eyes. He’s dead, but his foot begins to move. He’s chained to the wall and they right down some statistics. Troy goes to Travis and asks if he’s Mexican. He says no; he’s Māori, and Troy calls him a warrior. Nick asks where his mom and sister are, and Troy says they’re being processed. He says he’s not a savage, and tells them they give all the mercy they can offer to the sick and maimed.

Alicia waters a plant with the tea, and says they’re going to be killed. Madison says no, they’re being treated too well. Alicia gives her the tip of a bayonet she has stashed in her shoe. She tells Alicia she’ll get them out.

Another prisoner tells Travis that he can get them out, but he needs someone strong enough to back him. If Travis can get them out of the room, he can get them out of the compound. He sees a guy struggling with a soldier, saying please don’t, but the soldier shoots him.

Commercial break. They tell us that Fear the Walking Dead is brought to us by The Mummy, which I find amusing.

Chained zombie guy starts writhing against the chains. Travis asks the other prisoner how he’s getting them out of there, and I swear that he says something about cheese. He explains his plan, but he mumbles, and I have no clue what he told Travis. He says someone shot him, and they have zero options and time. Travis agrees to help. He watches the soldiers get testy with one another. One says they’re supposed to be out of there in 24-hours, and to hurry it up – it doesn’t matter how they get dead. He pulls a couple of guys out and shoots them.

Alicia and Madison nap. Troy makes notes. Madison wakes up, and he tells her the coffee is warm. This dude is way too smiley. She asks what he’s writing, and he tells her that he makes observations. She asks if they passed processing, and he says with flying colors. She asks about Travis and he says it’s different criteria. Troy says he’s not a bad person, and Madison tells him that no one said he wasn’t. She asks if Travis is dead, and says she loves him. Troy asks if she loves his life more than hers, and she says yes.

Notes are taken about the dead guys. Travis asks what’s up. A soldier says the infected have senses, and they’re doing this for everyone’s betterment. Travis says what they’re doing is pointless, and asks if the people understand what’s going on. The soldier says they’ve volunteered, and it’s for science. He asks if Travis hasn’t murdered anyone. He’s about to pull out another prisoner, when Travis says to take him instead. The soldier says that’s a first. I thought he just said they volunteered. While Travis is being chained, he whacks the guy, and everything goes nuts.

Madison asks what Troy wants. Troy says he can take them home. She asks about Travis, and he says the resources are limited. She asks if Travis is alive. Troy says if she comes, he will be. They hear a gunshot, and Troy runs out. The prisoners are escaping, and everyone is running. Travis faces the soldiers while Nick runs with Luci. They manage to get into a sewer pipe. Over by Travis, the prisoner who said he could get them out gets his throat cut.

Travis is brought back in. Gee, that went well. Troy asks what happened. A soldier says two of his got away, and one of theirs died. Troy says a tender moment between him and Madison was interrupted. He wants Travis kept safe. He says Travis is special, and treat him as such. Take him out back. “Out back” is never special, or even a good thing.

Nick has to stop. Luci says she’s slowing him down, and he says never, kissing her. He tells her that she has to live.

Troy goes back to the office, and Madison jumps out from behind the door. They struggle. Alicia comes out from behind the couch. Madison stabs Troy in the eye with a spoon. She tells him he’ll lose the eye if he moves. That’s actually an amazing move. Was she with the Navy SEALS or something before the apocalypse? She tells Alicia to go find out what’s happening.

Alicia goes outside. Travis and Luci continue on. Planes fly overhead. Nick gets to the end of the tunnel. It’s blocked, but he gets it open – and confronts a horde of zombies. He and Lucy run back.

A soldier explains the experiments to Travis. Some kind of nonsense with statistical differences between the dead and the undead. Travis is led to a pit where there are zombies milling around. They throw him in. The only thing worse than a zombie is a bored zombie.

Madison takes Troy outside. She’s got him in a hold with one arm, and with the other, is still gripping the spoon in his eye. He tells her that she’s going to be dead, but yells to the others to back off. In the pit, Travis cracks a few zombies in the head. For a pacifist, he’s pretty good at this. In the meantime, Alicia tries to break into a car. Travis pikes some zombies with a metal rod he’s found. When he loses that, he punches them out. A cinderblock also comes in handy. The head soldier says he’s impressed, but Travis should save his strength – he’ll need it. He unleashes more zombies.

Madison says she thought Troy was going to let him go. Troy’s brother, Jake, approaches, telling Madison to release Troy. He says Troy knows he brought this on himself. Madison says she wants her family. Jake says if she lets Troy go, he’ll find her family. She releases Troy, and whacks him when he tries to grab her. Jake asks where her family is.

Nick and Luci hide, but we can hear the zombies close by. Alicia hears Nick, and looks through a vent to see him struggling with a zombie. She throws a weapon down, and Luci kills the zombie. Alicia is taken away by two guys, and Nick sees Madison with some soldiers, who tell the others to let Travis out. Travis rushes Troy, but Madison says he’s safe now. Alicia and Chris show up. Everything is cool for five seconds.

Commercial break. Valerian looks awesome!

Jake says he wishes Travis would reconsider; it’s a sanctuary. Troy was doing experiments on his own, and Jake says it won’t happen again. Madison says they want their guns back. She thanks Travis. She cleans his face with a washcloth, and says she’s sorry. She’s here and his family is here. He says he’s okay now; he’s with her.

Troy’s brother tells him get in, get the fuel, get out. He says Troy has killed innocent people, and Troy says they were going to die anyway. Jake smacks him, and asks, who is he to decide that? He asks what Troy has learned. That would be nothing. Troy leaves. As he’s walking out, he looks proudly at the blood stains on the “lab” wall.

A soldier walks through a corridor and hears a noise from behind the wall. He puts his ear to the wall and listens. He looks through the vent, but can’t see, so he removes it. About a thousand rats drop out. Then a zombie pulls him toward the vent opening. Suddenly, he gets sucked through it like it was a hole in a flying airplane.

Jake begs Madison to stay. She asks him for the car keys. They hear gunshots, and see zombies walking out of one of the buildings. Madison runs to get Travis, saying they have to go now. Suddenly, there are zombies everywhere. Madison is surrounded. Nick runs to help her while she’s slicing and dicing. Jake lands a helicopter, and they pile in, but Madison and Nick are still fighting the zombies. Troy shoots at the zombies, and Madison and Nick run to his truck. The helicopter takes off. A few zombies hang from it. Madison and Tavis look at each other. I’m driving myself crazy, because since the beginning of this show, I’ve wanted to call Nick “Chris,” and I keep typing it.

Everyone clears out from the compound. A caravan of trucks hits the road. The helicopter flies off.

Part Two

In the helicopter, Luci asks for Nick, and Alicia says she’ll see him soon. Bullets start coming through the helicopter windows. Travis is shot in the neck. It’s hard to put pressure on a wound when you’re passing out. The helicopter starts to go down. Travis opens the door. Jake tells him to stay in his seat. They start to nosedive. Alicia holds Travis in, but sees how badly he’s hurt, and lets him fall. Then she calls after him like we didn’t see what we just saw. Well, my mouth is hanging open.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, people are swarming at the gate. They say they know there’s a doctor in there. Elena says she’s sorry; they have nothing for them. One of them grabs her by the hair, and holds her head to against the gate. Victor approaches, and says he can provide medical care; he’s a doctor. Elena is let go, and the people look hopeful. Victor says he’s injured, but can’t let them suffer. He tells Elena to let them have her empty rooms to heal and recover.

Jake tells Alicia that Luci is as stable as she’s going to get, and whoever shot them might still be out there. He tells her for what it’s worth, she did the right thing. She wonders if Travis survived (oh come on), but Jake says he’s gone. He says knows the mountains and can get them home. He tells her that Travis would want that, but Alicia snaps that he doesn’t know what Travis would want.

Troy listens to Insane Clown Posse or Rammstein or something. Madison looks like she has a headache, and he turns it off. The caravan approaches what was once a ranch. The guard says Jake hasn’t been there and is overdue. Troy tells the others to get out of the truck and wait. A guard closes the gate. Gee, thanks for the ride to we-don’t-know- where.

Nick says tat they should backtrack and find the others. Madison says they could end up running in circles, or they could get themselves killed. Nick asks what the plan is if it’s just the two of them. Madison tells Nick to hug his mother, and he feels the gun in her waistband. She says they need to bring their family together and stop anyone who gets in their way.

Victor pulls a bullet out of somebody’s leg. Victor ponders. He’s asked to come, a woman’s water just broke. He thinks they should just let nature take its course, and says he’s not a baby doctor. The husband gets angry and asks why he’s been allowed to treat them. Victor agrees the deliver the baby, and tells everyone to get out, except Nurse Elena.

Madison says most of the people there are civilians. Nick says they don’t need them, but Madison says his girlfriend does. He says fine, but then they go. He isn’t sure what he’ll do if he has to stay longer. A rancher gives Madison a cup of coffee. He says he heard her husband over the helicopter radio, and tells her that sometimes a helicopter sets down in bad weather. He asks if she knows of any reason Travis might have taken the helicopter, but she says he’d want their daughter to get there safely. The rancher says he had to ask. His son and goddaughter are on there too. Madison says she put a spoon in his other son’s eye, making me laugh, and the rancher says that he’s lucky it wasn’t a fork, making me laugh again. He introduces himself as Joseph, and welcomes them to the ranch, opening the gate. Nick tells Madison it’s not safe. He says he doesn’t trust these people, but she tells him to trust her.

Joseph says they were already there, off the grid, before the world ended, and the rise of the dead caught them by surprise. He says they’re self-sustaining, and Madison points out that they’re also armed. He says he heard Troy’s side of it, and Nick asks if he wants to hear theirs. Joseph says he’ll hear everything when Jake gets back. He tells them it’s the safest place to be, and most people would be grateful to be there. He shows them to a bunkhouse, and tells them where the facilities are. Madison thanks him.

After he leaves, Nick loudly says his son’s a murderer, and Madison tells him to lower his voice. She asks if he wants to start a war with all of them – then he’ll see murder. Nick says it’s his fault, leading them to that place, and he has to do something. Madison says no, he doesn’t. Right now, they’re going to eat sh*t, smile, and bide their time. She wants to save them all too, but he has to help. Nick says he’s not sitting by while they sharpen their knives, and walks out.

Jake builds a fire, and says he’ll take first watch. Alicia asks what will happen with Luci when they get back, and expresses concern about Troy. Jake says they’ll keep an eye on him. He explains how Troy had been like this since he was young, and says you make allowances for those you love. Alicia says she made allowances for her brother, and it almost got him killed. They hear something, and Jake stomps out the fire.

Jake gives Alicia a gun. He tells her to stay put until he gets back. If he doesn’t, get the others to the ranch. He walks out into the dark. He looks around, and then stumbles down a small cliff. He quickly finds his gun, and hears the sounds of zombies eating. He shines the flashlight into a zombie face. It comes after him, and he whacks at it with the flashlight, trying to deal with his gun. It’s about an inch from his neck, when a shot rings out and it drops. Another one takes its place, and we see Alicia at the top of the cliff. She shoots that one too. Jake is pretty freaked. He asks for the gun, and tells Alicia to find her way back quickly. He has to take care of it before more come.

Alicia goes back, and Jake sees that the zombies were eating his co-pilot. Alicia hears a gunshot.

The baby is being named after Victor. Elena says he calmed the people, but his lie is now theirs. If the people turn on him, they’ll turn on them too. She says he has to go. On foot. Before he leaves, Hector says there’s a woman who has lost her senses, a poor woman who refuses food. He gives Victor a plate, and tells him to convince her to eat. He goes into the room and says he brought food. It looks like Marie Antoinette moonlighting as a stripper lives here. Loads of dishes with dainty sweets on them, and boxes of frilly accessories. Victor sees a mannequin, and is about to touch it, when a woman pops out of nowhere. He recognizes Ilene, and says he was sent there to treat her. She apologizes for stabbing him, and says she was distraught and hopeless. He tells her to get some fresh air in the room, and tries to open the balcony door, but it’s stuck. He says he can’t stay there, but has nowhere to go, and no way to get him there.

Victor finally gets the door open, and Ilene thanks him. He tells her about the woman in labor, and how he delivered a baby. He says it was terrifying. If the child lives, it’s a new generation and might give them a reason to hope. Ilene asks where he’d go if he left, and he says he has a place in mind. She takes something out of a pocket, and gives it to him. She says it was supposed to be a wedding gift, but it’s the least she can do for what she did. He opens what looks like a jewelry case, and thanks her. She thanks him for freeing her little girl.

Ilene tells Victor that there are no more generations, and jumps off the balcony.

Jake polishes his gun. Alicia tells him that she’s sorry. Luci is unconscious, and Alicia can’t get her to wake up. Jake says they’ll be at the ranch in a few hours. He tells her that it’s a terrible world. Did he just figure this out?

The guard at the ranch sees Jake coming, and the gate is opened. Madison hugs Alicia while Luci is being tended to. She wonders where Travis is, but Alicia doesn’t say anything. Madison sees her face, and says, no. Nick runs to Lucy and creepy Troy walks around smiling. He says Luci isn’t going to make it, so she doesn’t go to the infirmary. Nick says that it’s Troy’s fault, and Troy says he’d do it again. Troy says she’ll turn, and is about to shoot her. Nick tells Troy that he’ll do it, but Troy says no. For whatever reason, he relents, and gives Nick the gun. Chris points the gun at Troy, and the others draw their guns. Nick tells them to let her in, and Troy says that’s not how they do things. Madison tells Nick to stop, and he says not this time. Joseph steps between Nick and Troy, and asks for the gun. Nick says he can’t let Luci die. Joseph says if she has a pulse, they’ll let her in, but he has to give him the gun. Madison says to give it to him, and Nick hands the gun over. Joseph tells them to take Luci to the infirmary, and the show’s over. Madison tells Alicia to get herself checked out. She stands alone for a moment, fighting back tears, before walking back in. The gate closes.

Madison cries under a tree. Joseph finds her. She tells him she’s not well. He says after his first wife left, he drank a lot of JD and Coke, and had many a bad morning. She asks why he’s there. He tells her that after someone has this kind of loss, sometimes they take matters into their own hands, and these days, it presents another set of problems. Part of his job is to make sure she’s not a danger to herself or anyone else. She says it’s too soon to tell. Joseph says it looks like they’re missing a Beretta from the fuel truck, and asks if she borrowed it. If she did, she has to sign it out like a library book. She signs the ledger. He tells her he’s sorry for her loss. Madison says he was a good man, and Joseph says he believes it, being with a woman like her. I like Joseph.

Nick watches Luci. Alicia comes in, and he thanks her for getting Luci back. He asks if she’s okay, and hugs her. She cries.

Victor unlocks a car in the parking garage. He takes the cover off, saying it’s his style and color. I call it fancy black car, because I know diddly about cars.

Alicia and Nick find Madison, who insists she’s okay. She says Nick asked if she has a plan, and she does. They’re going to stay there, and make it their home, even if they have to take it over. She says it’s their fate. They suffered to get there, and Travis died; they have to accept it. She wants to know how it happened, and asks Alicia to tell her everything about how Travis died. We see the family in a tableau.

This season, there will be lots of zombies, but Nick says the monster there is worse than the one outside.

🐎 Sadly, it was the Return to Amish finale tonight. I’ve been having the best time watching it; I hate to see it go. To end the season, the group took a trip to Las Vegas. Supposedly as a honeymoon for Jeremiah and Carmella, who haven’t had a night without her children since they began their relationship, which sounds like as good an excuse as any. Having broken her ankle slipping on some ice a few days before, Mary didn’t let it interfere with her fun, and got around on a scooter. She had her picture taken with a couple of Chippendales dancers, did some gambling, and got her drink on. Jeremiah and Carmella renewed their vows, dressed as a cowboy and Native American princess, while Elvis officiated. Everyone had a day at the salon beforehand, where, true to filterless form, Sabrina suggested that in lieu of a Brazilian wax, Mary start a trend called the “buggy trail,” causing fits of hysterical laughter. The best part was seeing Rebecca and Sabrina make up, and at least for the moment, everyone being a family again. It also did Mary’s heart a world of good. Sadly, there was no happy ending for much of the cast, according to the end blurbs. Jeremiah and Carmella have separated, Chester is on the verge of being shunned because Mary is having too much fun, and although they didn’t say it in these words, it sounded like Sabrina may have relapsed, but still fighting the good fight about her children. I hope they come back for another season or retitled show to figure it out. Abe tells us that at the end of the day, they’re family, which is one of the things that makes this show attractive. Even though they’re not all related by blood, the dynamics are very much like a family, and everyone wants to be heard. After Sabrina and Rebecca finally talk like grown women, Rebecca is surprised to find they’re both on the same page, just wanting their feelings to be validated – or as Sabrina puts it, treat each other “human.” While there might be contrived moments, these people impress me as very real. It’s been a delight to get a glimpse into their corner of the world, which is really not all that different.



May 30, 2017 – The End of Jake’s Magic Act, a One-Day Charter & Eddie is Surrounded


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Jason tells Jake it’s late and they need to go home. Anna tells him to stop. Jake sees Helena. He holds the Chimera up, and Helena tells him, bravo. He flips it on. Valentin says it’s unlocked, and they have to get out of there, but Jake says they have to stay. It would be really funny if the whole thing was a sham and the Chimera was a dud.

Dante calls Sonny. He leaves a message telling him not to do anything stupid. Scotty told him that Sonny had been trying to shake him down, and he figures it’s about Morgan’s pills.

Carly gets in Ava’s face, and says come and get her. Ava says no more, and throws the lantern to the ground, starting a fire. Ava says they’re not going anywhere, and draws her gun. She says fair is fair, and now it’s Sonny’s turn.

Nathan tells Amy she stole his photo. She prefers the word “borrowed,” and says he should be thanking her for making him famous.

Valentin tells Jake not to open it. Jason says it looks heavy; maybe he should put it down. Helena tells him not to listen, and just look at her. Jason asks what he’s looking at. Helena calls Jake her clever, darling boy, and says he knows what to do.

Valentin asks Emma and Charlotte to come. He tells Lulu, Laura, and Nina to get them somewhere safe. Out in the hallway, Nina asks what just happened.

Jason says he knows Jake is scared, but it will be okay, just hand him the martini shaker canister. He says she doesn’t want him too. Jason asks who, and he says Helena. Elizabeth asks if she’s there and telling him to open it. He nods. Helena tells him not to weaken. Elizabeth tells him to keep looking at her. Helena doesn’t have the power; he does. Jason says he’s the one in control. Elizabeth tells him to give Jason the container. Helena tells him not to listen, and to open the Chimera and do what he was born to do.

Nathan tells Amy that it’s the epitome of false advertising. Details, details, she says. He tells her that he doesn’t want to be a part of it, but she says he hasn’t even read it. She tells him about the advice that he gives. He asks if this is the other job she talked about. She says she doesn’t get paid right now, but eventually, the money will roll in. She asks if they’re good, and he tells her they will be as soon as she takes it down.

Ava admits to replacing Morgan’s lithium with a placebo. She didn’t want it to get that far, but instead of seeing if there was a problem, they indulged him. Didn’t it occur to them that something was wrong, and he belonged in an institution? Sonny calls her a psychotic bitch, and says she led Morgan down the wrong path. Sonny says he’s not standing there. They’re leaving, and she can shoot him in the back. Carly tells her to burn in hell, and they leave.

Ava tries to get out another door, but the exit is blocked. I think she could probably squeeze through the opening if she tried though.

Helena urges Jake to give them a show. Elizabeth asks if he’s seeing the witch, and if she’s telling him to do things he doesn’t want to do. She tells him that the witch isn’t real; she’s a bad dream. Helena laughs and says it isn’t true. Elizabeth tells Jake that Helena thinks she’s won, and Helena says she knows she has. Elizabeth says she thinks the hate she has for everyone is stronger than the love Elizabeth has for him. But she couldn’t be more wrong. Jake fingers the container opening.

Amy tells Nathan that she has advertisers lined up, and they’re the next big thing. Nathan is like, there’s no “we.” He asks why doesn’t she just put her own picture on the column? She says smart blondes are a dime a dozen. He tells her either take down his image or the blog. She asks if he couldn’t learn something from her advice, and what if she could help him save his marriage?

Dante gets a call about the fire. He asks who owns the warehouse. When he finds out that it’s Ava, and he says he’ll be right there.

Ava can’t get out. Something falls, and she can’t get through the other door either. Carly and Sonny wander around in the smoke. Carly says they made a wrong turn, and Sonny tells her that they have to go back. They hear Ava calling for help.

Charlotte asks if her papa is in trouble, but Nina says he’s just trying to help. Emma wonders why Jake seems afraid, but still wants to open the container. Laura and Lulu get the girls out. Nina decides to stay.

Elizabeth says she knows that Jake can do it. Helena says that she hasn’t scratched the surface of what he can do. Elizabeth calls him strong, but Helena says she’s the one who prepared him to face his destiny. She tells him to release the Kraken Chimera. Elizabeth asks Jake if he can tell how much she loves him; how much they all do. Helena says enough drivel; end it now. Ha-ha! I love Helena. Elizabeth says they know that Jake loves them too, and that’s why Helena can’t win; love is always stronger than hate. Jason says they can handle anything as long as they have each other. Jake turns off the Chimera, and Helena disappears. Anna takes the box and puts it on the floor. Elizabeth hugs Jake.

Lulu tells Charlotte that her dad will get her asap. Emma wants to know why Jake was acting weird, and Charlotte asks why everyone seemed scared. Laura tries to finagle it into magic show suspense. The girls go to the kitchen for cookies. Lulu wonders what was in the canister, and if she should call Dante. Laura tells her to wait. Lulu asks if Laura thinks Helena had something to do with it. Laura says yes, but they have the upper hand this time. They’re not on the island, but among family and friends in Port Charles.

Elizabeth tells Jake how strong he is. He tells them he’s sorry. Jason says it wasn’t his fault, and he has nothing to be sorry about. They hug. Franco approaches Elizabeth, and Nina comes back in. Valentin says he wanted her to leave the building, but the threat has been neutralized for now. He explains what happened, and says it’s why Alex was chasing him, pretending to be Anna. Nina asks if it’s over, and he says not until the canister is destroyed. Anna tells Jake how brave he is, and Jason says they’re proud of him. Elizabeth tells Franco she was scared, and they hug. Jason thanks her. She thinks Jake should be checked out at the hospital. Jason asks Elizabeth and Franco to take him. He wants to make sure Helena has no more surprises. Elizabeth tells him to be careful, and gathers up Jake.

Anna says the area has to be cleared. Nina offers to call security and the police. Anna tells Valentin she’ll call the WSB, and have it destroyed.

While Nina is in the hallway making the call, a man holds a gun to her head and says her call just dropped

Amy says that Maxie and Nathan are at opposite ends of the country, and Nathan says that Maxie has a job in Portland. Amy tells him that there are jobs everywhere. Nathan says they’ll figure it out, and she says, if he says so, but she has to get to work.

The fire starts to spread, more slowly than any fire in history. Ava screams for help. Carly asks Sonny what should they do? He says they can’t help her; they’ll all die. He tells Carly that they can call 911 when they get out. Ava is now lying on the floor, unconscious.

Sonny and Carly get outside. Carly calls 911, and tells them what’s going on, adding that they should hurry. She tells Sonny that the fire was already reported. Smoke is coming out from under the door.

Elizabeth and Franco wait at the hospital. Franco says Jake will be fine. Elizabeth says she can’t stop thinking about what a close call it was. Franco applauds her mom awesomeness, and they kiss.

Coming out of the hospital elevator, Amy asks Nathan to stop arguing. He says not until she takes the picture down. They see Franco and Elizabeth. Amy asks if something happened at the Nurses Ball, and Franco says they’re not going to believe it.

Two guys go into the ballroom, one of them still holding a gun on Nina. They want the box, but Jason says he doesn’t have it.

That’s because Valentin has it. Anna asks him what he’s doing. He says he was short-sighted, but it was years ago. He tells her that selling the device to Helena was a bad mistake in anyone’s book, but not to act like she doesn’t have regrets. He didn’t sell himself to the DVX. She was a double-agent, but didn’t have price tag on her head or need surgeries. She says that she was young and full of herself, and did it for money. He tells her that she doesn’t get to judge. She says he’s in possession of classified weapon, and it has to be destroyed. Valentin says that’s what he’s going to do.

Anna says she spoke to Robert, and the WSB is going to handle it. Valentin says, great; they handled the Alex situation really well. He says mistakes were made, and Charlotte almost died. She says they all almost died, including Emma. He thinks the WSB will just put it in a vault somewhere, but Anna says it was a mistake made by cold war hysteria, and they want it gone. She asks him to give it to her and be done with it. He says the past is coming back to bite him, and what if it was her past? Would she trust it to an organization that’s failed her over and over? She says fine, don’t trust them, but trust her. His phone rings. It’s Nina. She says she’s in the ballroom, and there’s a guy holding gun who wants the Chimera, and the phone disconnects. Valentin tells Anna that Nina is being held hostage by someone who wants the Chimera. She says he knows what to do.

Laura plays charades with the girls. She asks if Charlotte wants to try, but she’s too worried. Lulu says maybe they’re having fun and lost track of time. Emma says they’re doing that thing grownups do – not telling the truth. Lulu says they can be sure that everyone wants to help Jake. She says Anna, Jason and Valentin are smart and brave, and can handle it. Emma says, copy that.

Dante asks if Sonny and Carly are okay. Carly tells him that Ava is still inside. He’s like, you left her in there??? Sonny says she started fire, and tells him what happened. Carly says they thought she took a different exit. Sonny says by the time they realized, they couldn’t go back and help or they’d all die. The firemen go inside. Sonny tells Dante their hands are clean. Dante hopes so, and says if something happens to Ava, they’ll have to answer for it.

Valentin enters the ballroom with the box. He tells them to take it and get out. Jason asks if he’s crazy, and Valentin tells him to stay out of it. They take the box, and let Nina go. They open box, and one of them asks what Valentin is trying to pull. Valentin tells Nina to run. He and Jason fight the bad guys.

Nathan arrives, and asks Nina what’s going on.

The firemen bring Ava out. She’s alive, but not looking good. A fireman says that she’s barely hanging on, and they have to get to the hospital asap. Carly says at least she got out. Sonny tells Carly that he’ll give her a ride home. Dante says they have to come to the station for a statement.

Franco and Elizabeth go into Jake’s hospital room. Amy tells them he’s doing great. So great, they want to keep him overnight, so he can show the other kids how it’s done. Franco tells Jake that he’s brave; it takes a lot of courage to face the demons in your head. Jake asks if Helena is gone and not coming back. Elizabeth tells him that the nightmares are over, and only sweet dreams from now on.

Anna hears someone, and says close enough. She sees a man, and asks if Scorpio sent him. He says yes, showing ID, and that he has to take the Chimera to WSB headquarters. Anna says she’s coming along. She has to see for herself that it’s neutralized.

Nathan calls for a squad. He wants Nina to leave, but she won’t. He goes into the ballroom and we hear a gunshot. Nina runs in, and Valentin lies on the floor, bleeding. NOOOOO! Nina runs to him.

Tomorrow, Nathan wants to talk to Nina about Valentin, Epiphany has bad news, and Dante wants to know why Sonny and Carly were at the warehouse.

Below Deck Mediterranean

After nine hours total, the anchor is finally untangled and in. Captain Sandy has a new appreciation for Wes. Malia tells us she’s attracted to both Wes and Chef Adam. Chef Adam is feeling receptive to that.

Finally, tip time. The captain tells the crew about being considerate of others. Mostly because Bobby is a child. The tip from the Mr. Skin charter is $17,000, $1,500 each. The crew goes ashore for drinking time. Wes demonstrates making sounds by squishing his palms together. In her interview, Hannah says only Max isn’t interested in Malia. What’s up with Max? The crew goes back to the boat, and Adam breaks out some ribs. Adam’s ribs. Lauren is feeling sad and left out, and asks Bobby if he can forgive her. In his interview, he says that he’ll forgive, but not forget. Very original.

This time it’s a one-day charter that the primary guest, Eden, has set up for his girlfriend to celebrate some milestones in their lives. They want a Croatian dinner, but have no weird food requests, which makes Adam very happy. Especially after the last group, several of whom could only eat lettuce leaves harvested from the moon.

Bugs is trying to come to terms about not attending her grandmother’s funeral. The crew gets into their whites to great the guests. Champagne is handed out, and Hannah gives the tour. The agenda is a cheese plate, water toys, and lunch on shore. Wow. They have a lot of bags for just one day. Adam is impressed with how Bugs is always a step ahead.

Ohh, Max has a girlfriend. That explains why he’s not after Malia. He talks about his lady having a dancing contract in Dubai, and how it’s difficult to get out of the country. Malia learns more about dropping anchor. Wes wants to prove to the captain that he can handle his crew by himself.

Cheese plate, done. Water toys, happening. Weather, not so great. Captain Sandy says they have to drop anchor asap. Suddenly, a guest gets hurt falling off the banana. She’s hit her head, and Bobby asks questions like what year is it? In his interview, he says he went into firefighter mode, and wants to impress the captain, Wes, and Malia. Captain Sandy says they’re dragging anchor, and tells the crew to get the toys out of the water now.

Hannah decides to send Bugs with Adam on his shore shopping trip, since she could use a break. The yacht docks, and the captain checks on the guest who was hurt. She says she just got the wind knocked out of her, but I’ll bet she has a helluva headache too. Bugs asks Hannah if it’s okay if she gives Lauren guidance, and Hannah is all for that.

The guests go for lunch, and Adam and Bugs go to the market. Adam says he likes to follow the culture as a chef. As always, everything looks amazing – both the restaurant and the market food. Bobby thinks Hannah wants nothing to do with him now, and feels completely alone. Malia flirts with Wes.

Adam and Bugs stop for a drink, and Adam tells her that she’s strong and professional. He thinks they’ll work well together. The guests decide to bring the party on board, adding a few “friends.” Ten of them. Did they pick these people up at the restaurant?

Commercial break. Please. It’s for Trojan, and this girl is strolling along with the box peeking out of her bag. On purpose. Who does that? A hooker?

Lauren feels overwhelmed by the amount of people, but says it’s her time to shine. Adam wakes Hannah up to help when one of the guests comes to him looking for beer. Lauren is annoyed. Some extremely cool sorbet snacks are set out, and I covet the weirdly shaped dishes they’re being served in. The new friends leave before dinner, which I’m sure is a relief to the crew.

A Grecian flavor has been decided on for the Croatian dinner. Hannah asks Bobby if he’s good at this toga business. Malia thinks Adam is intriguing, but she once dated her captain, and says you know shipboard romance isn’t going to last. The table is decorated with gold, bunches of grapes, and palm fronds. One of the guests acts like an idiot, because Hannah asked him to leave the dining area while they were setting the table, and he didn’t want to wear an “f-ing toga,” when she asked him if he was into it. No more for him. A few of the guests and the crew sport togas.

Lauren feels like everyone thinks she’s incompetent. Adam says Bugs looks pretty fast next to Hannah, not that he’s calling Hannah lazy. Hannah brings out the deckhands in togas, and Adam follows with a four-layer cake to represent the primary guests’ four celebrations. The dudes discuss the tip, and crabby drunk guy acts all stingy. Hannah thinks if you have to argue about the tip, you’re a cheap ass.

One of the guests tells Hannah that she “feels energy,” because she’s sensitive to it, and thinks something is weird. Hannah tells her they’re just trying to clean up. Bugs says she feels weird energy when she’s wasted too. Lauren is looking for bottled water, and gives everyone attitude. Hannah talks to Adam about Wes, and thinks Malia should get with him. Adam isn’t thrilled with that idea.

Croatia is my new dream destination. It’s absolutely beautiful. Adam makes a fabulous breakfast to go with the scenery. Crabby-ass sips coffee. Hannah and Bugs discuss charging the radios. Hannah thinks Bugs and Adam are getting along well. Wes says some things about shoving off that I don’t understand because he talks in Swedish or something. The captain is pissed because there’s a stern line in the water. Bobby cops to it being his fault, surprising me. The captain wants Wes to handle the lines like he knows what he’s doing. Maybe he does, but they can’t understand him.

It’s time to say good-by to the guests. The girlfriend says the trip was spectacular. Let’s see if the tip is. Captain Sandy thanks the crew. The tip is $12, 000, $1,100 each. Hannah says not bad for a one-day charter. Agreed. Bugs tells Lauren the more overwhelmed she gets, the more it will eat her up. She says if Lauren needs help, to just ask her. In her interview, Lauren talks about being a people pleaser. Lauren tells Hannah she doesn’t think other crew members are respecting her position. She talks about the deckhands sitting around, and Hannah tells her to be assertive and ask. Hannah says that sitting around crying affects everyone, and to just stop. Bugs is annoyed that Hannah told her to deal with Lauren, and is now inserting herself. It’s all hugged out by the end of the conversation.

Everyone gets ready for down time on shore. Adam feels like Wes has had too much time with Malia, and wants to stake his claim. The crew goes to dinner. Everyone talks about their sex lives, and Bugs says she and Wes are waiting for marriage. In her interview, she says that she and her boyfriend aren’t clingy. Adam tells everyone that living in a van isn’t exactly a chick magnet. We see pictures though, and it’s not like a van down by the river; it looks like a small, but charming home. They move on to the club.

Malia tells Bugs she doesn’t want to hang out with Adam and ruin things with Wes. Everyone drinks more and dances. Bobby gets roses for the ladies. Lauren has felt like a weak link and is glad for the approval she’s feeling from Hannah. That’s just sad. Malia plucks her rose, doing loves me, loves me not. Bobby vogues. Adam tells Bugs what a great stew she is. She’s feeling uncomfortable because Hannah is within earshot. He asks if she thinks he has a chance with Malia. She thinks he should be worried about Wes. In his interview, he says Wes is Malia’s boss and it’s a no-no. Um, she already slept with her previous captain.

Wes says Malia is a hard decision to make, but good things are spontaneous. They flirt. They kiss. They kiss some more. He says this goes against everything. They return to the table separately. Malia tells Adam, who says that he’s not letting Wes take her, whatever that means. Wes tells Bugs that he’s conflicted. Back on the boat, Adam tells Malia to forget about the kiss. She says no. Bugs encourages Wes. Adam lays a kiss on Malia.

Next time, the guests consume six and a half bottles of vodka in less than six hours (a record!), Hannah and Adam clash, and Lauren tells Malia that romance with two crew members is not a good look. I agree. I’m disappointed in her.

If Loving You is Wrong

Travis asks Kelly if she missed him. She asks why he’s doing this. She asks what she can do to make him stop. He says make love to him – like she did the last time. She says okay. He tells her that if she tries anything, he’ll kill her, and Justice will find her dead, bloody corpse. That’s a little redundant, since all corpses are dead. She agrees. He wants to take a shower first because, who knows? He grabs a knife as they walk past the kitchen.

He asks Kelly why she’s scared. Then he shows her the knife. He asks if she wants him to put it down, and she says please do. He does, and says she still looks scared. She says it’s because of what he did. He’s all smiley and weird, and says she learns quick. He tells her to get on her knees. She begs him no.

Um… I think she bit him. He’s like ow! and she runs. She doesn’t get far. Travis knocks her down by the bathroom door. He hears Justice saying that he’s calling the police, and runs. Kelly locks herself in the bedroom with Justice.

Brad asks Marcie if she’s pregnant. She asks if he’s been talking to Alex, and he tells her that he has. She says she is, but it’s Randal’s. She can count, unlike his dumb-ass wife. He says he thought she couldn’t have children, but she says she was wrong. All the years she prayed for a baby, it comes now. She’s not telling Randal though. Marcie asks if Alex will tell him, but Brad says she’s not talking to him. He tells Marcie congratulations. She says she could accept it more if it was his, but scientifically, it’s not possible, as much as she wanted it to be. Brad thinks it’s wise not to tell Randal, especially with what he’s doing with Alex and custody of their baby. Marcie says it’s all about control. Brad says Alex thinks the baby is his, and tells Marcie that all this poison in her isn’t good. She says she loves him. They kiss, confusing me. He asks what she’s going to name the baby, and Marcie asks Brad to hold her. She tells him she’s sorry this happened, and he says him too.

It’s disco time! Julius is hanging at the club, when Ben walks in. I guess this is a strip club, but it looks like a throwback to the 70s. Julius snorts cocaine, and hopes his father is burning in hell. Alrighty then. Ben sits down. He says it’s awesome, and Julius asks which girl he wants. He says he has a girlfriend, and Julius smacks him, telling him not to say that, so Ben picks a girl. Julius calls for a drink. He asks what Ben likes, saying they have all kinds of candy. Julius tells him to enjoy, and Ben helps himself to some blow. Julius asks again what girl he wants, and says if he likes boys, he can get that too, but he doesn’t want to see it. Ben chooses a girl, and Julius tells her to do to Ben what she did to get into the party. Ben says he’s nervous because of cell phones. Julius shoots up in the air a couple of times. Everyone ducks and everything gets quiet, and Julius asks if there are any cell phones there. It’s a no, and everyone goes back to partying. Julius insists Ben continue. Honestly though, this looks like the Worst. Strip Club. Ever. It reminds me of a bar in my hometown. It was called The Interlude, and as kids, it all seemed very mysterious and sophisticated, and we were always trying to peek inside. During one of my vacations after moving away from home, a friend and I decided to check it out. It was like we’d stepped back into another era. There was fur along the bar like some cliché pimp’s dashboard, and one poor go-go girl was dancing all by herself in front of some mirrors on an empty dance floor. Absolutely no one was paying attention to her because – wait for it – Camelot was making it’s TV debut, and all of the patrons were glued to the screen.

Ben asks the girl to stop. Julius says he thinks Ben likes boys, and asks what’s going on. Ben says he’s been so nice, and Julius asks how the car is. Ben says he loves it, and drove it here, but wants to know why. Julius says it’s time to be honest. Before his father died, he told him, why make an enemy when you can use them to your advantage? He says the cops are his enemies, and Ben is being used. He tells Ben that after Julius Sr. died, the cops on his payroll got scared, and some got arrested. He says he’s starting his own crew. He tells Ben he’s not the only one. Ben leaves with the girl, and a guy whispers something to Julius. Julius says, Eddie.

Natalie thinks she slept too long, and tells Lushion she’s going to be up all night now. He asks how she’s feeling, and she says better, but wants to visit Joey tomorrow. He thinks they should test out the walls to find out how soundproof they are. She says his phone is vibrating, and he jokes that it’s not his phone, but it is. It’s Esperanza. She says she tried to call Kelly, but can’t get ahold of her. She asks Lushion to check on her. Natalie says now he’s cheating on her with Esperanza and has a baby with Alex. He adds that he’s going to check on his girlfriend Kelly, and explains about Travis still harassing her.

Lushion goes outside in his jammies. Natalie sees someone outside, and jumps up. She runs out the front door, and tells Lushion there was a man outside the window. He tells her to get inside, lock the door, call the police, and call Kelly.

The cops come to Kelly’s house. Lushion tells Dion that Kelly isn’t making this up, and Dion says he knows. Esperanza asks if Kelly wants to go to the hospital, but Kelly says Travis stopped when Justice said he was calling the police. She gets highly pissed at Dion, saying that Travis had to come at her with a knife before he believed her. She thanks him for serving and protecting, and tells him to go find Travis. He’ll be the one with a bite mark on his penis. I laugh, even though it’s not really funny. I wasn’t expecting it. Natalie and Esperanza take Kelly over to Natalie’s house.

Alex arrives slightly late to the hearing. She says she had to stop to feed her son. Randal gets mad because it’s not fair that Alex gets to visit. The judge asks if Randal would like an order so he can start breastfeeding, and I laugh again. Alex apologizes for wasting the court’s time, and says Randal is the father, and asks for custody. The judge asks why Alex held up the ruling, and Alex says that she was desperate. Randal says that’s no excuse, and the judge agrees. Randal’s lawyer asks for full custody, and no visitation without supervision. Alex begs Randal to let him stay with her, and he can see him whenever he wants to. The judge says he’s granting full custody to the only parent represented here. Randal and I say, what? According to the DNA, he’s not the father. We all look puzzled. Randal calls Alex a slut, and the judge tells him to calm down. He can’t believe it. Neither can Alex. The lawyer looks at the test, and Randal smacks it out of his hand. Randal stomps out, and his lawyer follows.

The judge explains about visits to see if it’s a safe environment, and says they’ll follow-up in thirty days. Alex thanks him. Man, I’d look out for Randal. Did Brad or someone else rig that test? Or are either Alex or Brad not entirely white? Could that be why Alex’s parents were such bigots?

Kelly emerges, and Natalie tells her that Lushion took the kids to school. Kelly says she’s embarrassed; she doesn’t even know how this happened. She’d loved Travis. Natalie says it could happen to any of them. She didn’t know he was crazy. She suggests Kelly get a gun. Kelly says Travis has been sneaking up on her, and she’d be afraid the tables would get turned. She says it’s hard being in the house because of Ramses. She slips about him being murdered there, and Natalie says she’s getting a preacher to bless the place. Kelly tells her to make sure it isn’t Travis. Natalie walks Kelly home.

Lushion gets a call from Pete, saying he’s being moved. He tells Lushion they’re taking Eddie down directly afterward. He asks if there’s any word on Andrew, but that’s a no. Lushion says he’ll call later. He’s surprised Steven finally decided to take Eddie down, but Steven says his boss did. He says this means he doesn’t get Escada. Lushion says maybe not like this, but they’ll get him. Steven says Lushion got his way, and he’s done with this.

Kelly gets an alarm system put into the house. Natalie’s friend Michelle arrives. She’s the gun lady. She shows Kelly a glock, and asks how it feels. Kelly asks if it’s legal, and Michelle shows her a license, saying she’ll still have to do a background check. She also suggests lessons. Kelly asks about safes, and Michelle says she can get one tomorrow. Kelly’s credit card is declined. Twice. Kelly gets another card, but it’s the same thing. Kelly has no idea what’s going on. Michelle asks if she has cash, and Kelly says that she’ll call the bank. Michelle says the wait will cost her. Kelly says fifteen minutes.

Michelle goes to wait in her car, and Kelly calls the bank. She asks Jill to run her card. Jill says it’s over the limit. Kelly asks about the charges, and Jill says it’s a bunch of sex toys, and all the cards are over the limit. She says Kelly could get into trouble at work. Kelly says Jill knows that’s not her. Jill says they were attached to her accounts, and she has no money. Kelly wonders why no one called. Yeah, me too. Jill says she’d better get to the bottom of it before the boss finds out. Kelly asks her to keep it between them until she can do some research. Forget that. I’d be going to boss and asking wth is going on with the security.

Ben’s driving the red sportscar when Eddie pulls him over. He asks why Ben Is in a car like that, and Ben says it’s his buddy’s car. Eddie asks if it’s a drug dealer’s car. Ben says no, but Eddie says he’s lying. He wants to run the plates. They’re in Ohio – I never knew that. I’m from Ohio. Eddie sees drugs in the car, and asks who Ben is running for. Ben says they’re his. Eddie finds out the car is registered to Julius. He smacks Ben around, and Ben claims he was just joy riding. Eddie tells Ben to get lost, and says he’s taking the car. He’s so incredibly stupid. Eddie drives away, and Ben gets into Eddie’s police car.

The girls arrive at Natalie’s house. They all compliment her, and she jokes that Alex’s baby daddy bought all the decor. Natalie asks Kelly if she’s okay, and she says she is, and just wants them to enjoy the evening. They discuss house alarms, and Natalie thinks she should get one too. Natalie says since Lushion invited them, she’s calling him to get some food.

Lushion wanders around the station, waiting. Natalie calls, and he says he can’t make it. He tells her something came up, but it’s just going to be her and the girls. He apologizes, and says it’s very important. She says she’ll order take-out. Steven tells him they don’t know where Eddie is, and Lushion practically hangs up on Natalie. Ben comes in, claiming that Eddie told him to bring his car back to the station. They tell him to go find Eddie. Lushion is concerned that Eddie knows what’s up, but Steven says that’s impossible.

Eddie turns his radio off to enjoy the high. Julius pulls up behind him. Oh, Eddie is doing something other than drugs. He has a girl in the car. Julius says Eddie seems to know a lot about him, and he’s about to save his life again. He tells Eddie not to go to the station – the FBI is waiting. Eddie asks how he knows, and Julius says he knows a lot of things. He has people everywhere. He says Eddie’s captain is in Columbia because he was about to be brought in. Eddie says he’d never mention Julius, but Julius says his time is up at that station; it’s time for new blood. He says if Eddie gets busted and mentions his name… Eddie says he’d never do that. Julius asks if he’s hard of hearing. Eddie says he knew Lushion was FBI. Julius says he doesn’t know Lushion, but he knows his informant, and Eddie had better get lost; he can’t afford him. Eddie says he understands, and he’s going. Julius tells him to clean the seats, and bring the car to his house. Eddie kicks the girl out of the car, and looks like he has a headache.

There’s a knock at Natalie’s door. It’s Marcie bearing wine. She asks if it’s a party and should she come back, but Natalie says it’s just the girls, and come on in. Marcie sits next to Alex. She asks if there’s anything juicy to talk about, and Esperanza thinks they should break out the wine. Marcie says that she thought Alex would have told them – she’s pregnant. She tells them that it’s Brad’s. Now Kelly looks like she has a headache. Marcie says she kept trying with Randal, and one time with her new man, and bam. She asks how Alex’s baby is, and Natalie says they’re not doing this in her new house. Alex says she’ll leave, and Esperanza says they need to stop all of this right now. Alex says that’s not going to happen with Marcie, and Marcie runs her mouth some more. She tells Natalie that she and Lushion have great taste, and she and Alex have great taste in men. She says it turns out Randal isn’t the father of Alex’s baby. She tells them about the DNA test, and how hard she laughed when Louise told her. She says Randal thinks the baby is Lushion’s. Natalie says it is not, and Marcie says she thought the same thing about Randal. Esperanza tells Marcie to stop. Alex says it’s nobody’s business, and the baby isn’t Lushion’s. She gets up to leave, calling for the kids. Esperanza tells her not to involve the kids, and Alex says send them home when they’re done. She walks out, and they follow.

Alex tells Natalie she knows she wouldn’t do that. On the porch of Alex’s house, Brad sees them, and asks what’s going on. Marcie won’t leave, and Alex wants to talk in private. Marcie asks if he really wants to talk to her, and he says he’ll see her back at the apartment. She kisses him and grabs his crotch, saying she’s warming up her dinner. Like Brad would want her acting so absurd. Alex and Brad go inside, and Marcie sits on the porch.

Brad asks what that’s about, and Alex tells him Marcie is harassing her. Brad says he told her to stop, but she’s not listening. Alex asks why he did that, and he says he’s had enough of her suffering, and doesn’t want her to be hurt. They hug. Alex begs him not to leave. She tells him she loves him. He says they can’t do this. She asks him to say he loves her too. He starts to leave, and she stops him. They start to kiss. Marcie hears noises. She can’t believe it. She gets in her car.

Alex and Brad continue to make out. Marcie drives away.

Steven tells Lushion that it’s going down. Lushion says he’s been waiting for this – bye, Eddie.

Eddie is being pursued by the cops. He hears it on the radio, and tries to avoid them. Too late. He’s blocked. They draw their guns. He looks up, thinking he can fly out of this, but no. He lights a joint instead. Why not? A cop tells him to get out of the car and he just looks at them. He’s surrounded.

Kelly tells Natalie it’s not true, and she doesn’t need to talk to Lushion. Kelly offers to take the kids home, but Natalie intervenes, and the entire household walks out. It’s like a small parade, and looks a little ridiculous. The kids ask what’s going on, and Kelly sends the kids who don’t belong to Alex to her house. Esperanza tells Natalie this is not the time, and Kelly adds that she’s never even seen them together.

Suddenly, Dion and Rick appear, and tell Kelly that she’s under arrest – for Ramses’ murder.

We hear a gunshot from Kelly’s house.

The end – for now.


May 23, 2017 – The Ball Begins, Travis Menaces Kelly, the Anchor Tangles & a Phantom of the Paradise Flashback


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Mario Lopez is coming to us live from the red carpet, along with Nina.

Sam asks Jason what’s going on; he hasn’t been the same since the nightmare. He doesn’t get a chance to answer, since Jake arrives with Elizabeth and Franco. He pulls a billion silk scarves from his pocket.

Ava hauls out the giant check. Scotty says she’s just trying to assuage her guilt for what she did to Morgan.

Michael stops by Sonny’s house to drop off Morgan’s journal. He thinks it stinks that Sonny and Carly can’t even be in the same ballroom together.

Carly tells Bobbie about catching Sonny with Martina. Bobbie suggests stringing Sonny up by his cummerbund, but Carly says Sonny isn’t coming to the ball. A year ago, they had so much to look forward to, and now look.

Michael tries to talk Sonny into going to the ball, but it’s a no. He asks why Sonny wanted Morgan’s journal.

Valentin arrives with his date, Charlotte. Nina doesn’t bat an eye when Mario introduces him as her husband, and takes Charlotte to pose for the paparazzi. Valentin tells Nina she looks beautiful, and Charlotte says she misses her. Nina makes the excuse of having a lot of work. Charlotte says Lulu picked out her dress, and Nina suggests thanking her. Valentin asks what he can do to make things right, but Nina says there’s nothing. He should have put his family first. He says Anna will never come between them again, and begs Nina to come back. Anna arrives with Emma and Felicia.

Michael talks to Sonny about Morgan being fine last year. He wonders what happened, and thinks about it all the time. He asks what sent Morgan off the rails, but Sonny doesn’t know, and doesn’t know if he’ll ever find out.

Scotty tells Ava that’s a hefty amount, and Ava sys Lucy put the squeeze on her. Lucy floats by, and Scotty gives her flowers from him and Serena. Ava asks if they’re all set for tonight, and Lucy says everyone got the memo that her donation is in memory of Morgan.

Carly tells Bobbie that she feels sorry for Sonny. Bobbie does too – in this one isolated department. Carly says they’re trying to understand why, and Bobbie wishes she had the answer. She says there’s still life to be lived and people to be loved though. They hug. Josslyn walks in and joins them. Bobbie says, opening number, here she comes; and the three of them leave for the ball, arm in arm.

Nina ditches Valentin. She emphasizes that Anna is with her granddaughter. Emma gives a shout out to Robin, who’s at home with her feet up. Griff joins them. Charlotte talks to Emma, who suggests she can be a magician’s assistant too.

Jake goes in to put some finishing touches on his act. Jason seems troubled, or as Sam puts it, weird. He says it felt like more than a nightmare. Helena took everything he loved away from him, and he can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

Charlotte goes backstage with Emma. Griff asks Anna what’s up with her and Valentin, and why would she want anything else to do with him. She says because of this, and shows him the necklace.

Jason tells Sam there’s a lot he still doesn’t remember. He wonders why Helena would still be in his head.

Nina introduces Franco, Elizabeth and Jake. Franco says the Nurses Ball isn’t going to know what hit it. I’ll bet. Epiphany and Felix are next, followed by Amy 2.0. Nathan rescues her from answering questions. Mario asks where Maxie is, and Nathan says she’s working. The Queen of the Nurses Ball graces the red carpet – Lucy.

Scotty asks Ava if she’s flaunting her affair with Morgan. She says it’s a gesture, and he suggests it might offend Morgan’s parents with a public reminder of what happened. He tells her not to do it.

Sonny tells Michael he’s going to try and piece together what Morgan did, and why. Michael tells him good luck. Sonny sits down with the journal. After reading something, he picks up the phone and says he needs to see someone right away. It’s about Morgan.

Jason and Sam walk the carpet. They talk about Scout. Amy II thanks Nathan for saving her, and tells him sorry Maxie couldn’t make it. She talks about working a lot, and he asks if she has another job, but she gets whisked away before she can answer. Nina asks Nathan how she’s supposed to trust Valentin again.

Charlotte asks Jake if she can be in the magic show, and he says okay. Anna explains what a chimera is to Griff. She says it was also the name of a WSB project, and tells him about Alex. Griff asks why Anna is involved, and she says the Chimera is out there somewhere, waiting to be unleashed.

Michael joins Bobbie and Carly. He asks Bobbie about Nelle, and Josslyn is surprised that she’s in the hospital.

Andre arrives at Sonny’s house. Sonny points out the difference in the dosages that Morgan should have been taking and what’s on the bottle. Andre says he noticed, but wanted to be absolutely sure before opening old wounds. Sonny says he doesn’t want Carly to know anything until it’s concrete. Andre tells him that the pharmacy dispensed 600 mg to Morgan, and has no idea why the pills were 300 mg. Sonny asks if it would have made that radical of a difference, and Andre says the only way Morgan could have veered that far off course is if he wasn’t taking lithium at all.

Griff tells Anna to call Robert, but she doesn’t think he’d make any progress. He suggests she at least wait. Jason asks Elizabeth about Jake, and she says he’s back to his old self. Sam asks if Jason feels any better, but he says no.

Jake tells the girls that the magic set was a birthday gift from Spencer. Emma tells Jake that Spencer was saving the gift for when he saw him, and it’s not a magic set. Ruh-roh!

Jordan and Curtis are approached by a reporter whose name is Pinacchio, and I wonder if that’s supposed to be a joke. Curtis tells him that the ball is going to be full of surprises.

Ava tells Lucy she’s taking her advice and leaving Morgan out of the donation. Lucy says Scotty must have had something to do with it, and he says she can thank him later. Lucy says Ava is selfish, and she’s surprised he’s thrown in with her. He says she’s the one who blackmailed Ava. Lucy says that was for a good cause, and hopes Sonny skewers her, but she’s glad it’s not going to be tonight.

Bobbie tells Josslyn what happened to Nelle, and that Nelle’s kidney was bruised, but she should be fine. They go inside.

Sonny dumps the pills out of the bottle, and asks Andre if he’s sure. Andre says it’s the only explanation that makes any sense. Sonny says he trusts the journal 100% and Andre agrees. Sonny says Morgan wrote that he was taking the medication. He looks into the empty bottle and says, what’s that?

Carly and crew enter the carpet area. Nina asks about Sonny. Carly says he couldn’t make it, but wants everyone to know that the fight against HIV/AIDS is dear to his heart. Carly asks Bobbie about Nelle, but she says tonight is about fun.

Sonny says there’s powder, like a pill broke or crumbled. He tastes it, and says there’s something else in the vial. Andre takes it to have it tested.

Mario interviews total strangers. Sonny sits down to watch. Scotty and Ava are up next. Mario says that Sonny and Carly must be moved by the donation she made in memory of Morgan. Anna drops the necklace going in.

Lucy starts the show. She says it’s not about the glitz and glamour, or her ending up in her underwear, which is not going to happen this year. She gives a shout out to this year’s sponsor, Burt’s Bees, and tells us that the first Nurses Ball was 23 years ago. Lucy says that the key word is nurses, who are the heart and soul of the hospital. She suggests we see what they’re up to tonight, and the curtain opens. We see a screen with the opening number filmed in the hospital. I’m confused, especially when they end up on the stage, since the ball is supposed to be at the MetroCourt. Okay. Suspension of disbelief happening.

Jake tells the girls not to tell anyone and ruin the surprise. Sam tells Jason to stop focusing on his dream. He asks how she’s doing, and she’s good. She tells him to get himself a scotch. Lucy reminds everyone that they’re at the ball to make donations. Jake says the big finale is the most important part. He says it’s all about this, and shows them the Chimera martini shaker.

Anna wants to talk to Valentin. He tells her to talk to her sister. Anna says Alex can’t help, but he can. She asks him to put aside his justifiable anger, and do the right thing. Jason sees the necklace on the floor.

Michael tells Carly that she and Sonny aren’t as far apart as they think they are. He wants her to admit she misses him. Ava is annoyed about the reporter saying something about Morgan. She says it’s going to be all over everywhere. Scotty doesn’t think Sonny will be able to follow the breadcrumbs. Maybe. Maybe not. But he’s here.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Nelle asks for Michael, Anna wants to know where the Chimera is, Jake tells Emma not to touch it, and Andre checks on the pill bottle test.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we last left, Travis had flattened Kelly’s tire and hid in her car trunk. When she went looking for the spare, he popped out of the trunk and wrestled her to the ground.

Travis asks Kelly why she went to the cops. Like she can talk with his hand over her mouth. He says she doesn’t know him, and starts to choke her. Kelly whacks him with something and runs, but he tackles her. He tries to choke her again on someone’s front lawn. Where is everybody? She keeps trying to yell for someone to call 911. If nothing else, Travis is a bold one. Kelly tells him she’s sorry. She says she can’t breathe, and he says good, which isn’t a positive sign. She loses consciousness, and Travis asks if she’s dead. He feels for a pulse and says she is, but I have my doubts. Mostly because Travis is such an idiot, he probably doesn’t even know what a pulse is.

Travis laughs to himself. A woman with a gun appears, and says she’s calling the police. Travis claims Kelly has passed out, and tells her to call an ambulance. The woman says she saw him attacking her, but he insists he was helping. He pretends to do CPR, and Kelly comes to. He tells her, you’ve lived to see another day, bitch.

The amazing Lushion tells the kids to keep the noise down and let Natalie sleep; she’s exhausted after finding out about Joey. Pete calls to ask if there’s any word on Andrew. Lushion says if there is, he’ll let Pete know. He asks if Pete talked to the FBI. Pete says he gave a full statement, and they’re picking Eddie up after they move Pete. Lushion asks if Pete is worried. I would be. Pete says he just doesn’t know where his life is going. Lushion calls him a good kid, and says he has a great future ahead. Yeah, if Eddie doesn’t get to him first. Lushion says Pete is going to see him sooner than he thinks, and he’ll call later.

Esperanza wonders what’s taking Kelly so long. The kids go in the backyard to play on the swings. Lushion comes by. Esperanza wants to see the new house, and asks about Natalie. He says she’s asleep; it’s been a long day. Esperanza says not as long as it is for Kelly. She tells Lushion that his boy DION – finally, a name! – keeps saying it’s Kelly causing problems, when Travis is the one harassing her.

Lushion tells Esperanza that Andrew is missing, and he thinks Alex knows something about it. Esperanza asks if he thinks Alex’s parents had something to do with it, but he doesn’t know. He tells her to talk to Alex, but not let on that he’s the one who asked. He asks if Esperanza can also get the girls together to come over to cheer Natalie up. He tells her that Joey is in jail for violating probation; he’s in the prison hospital. Geez. If you think your life is bad, just watch an episode of this show.

Somehow, Kelly gets back home. Why isn’t she at the police station? What about the witness? Esperanza asks what happened to her. Kelly starts to cry, and tells her about Travis being in the trunk of her car. She asks where Justice is, and says she doesn’t want him to see her like this. Esperanza takes her inside. She takes pictures, and asks if Kelly called the police, but Kelly says they won’t believe her. Esperanza calls Lushion and asks him to come over. She gets Kelly some water, and I wonder what she charges for a full glass.

Lushion comes in, and Kelly explains what happened with Travis. He says Travis has gone way too far. Esperanza says none of the officers are doing anything. Lushion says he’s getting involved, but Kelly is afraid it will make Travis crazier. Lushion says he’s right next door, but Kelly is worried about what happens when he’s not there. Lushion says when he’s done with Travis, he won’t be bothering her again. He knows how to deal with these guys.

Lushion goes to the station. He asks Dion what he’s doing about Travis, and says he was in Kelly’s trunk. Dion shows him the texts, and Lushion says something isn’t right. Dion thinks that Kelly and Travis are both crazy and wasting his time. Lushion says that Kelly had marks from Travis choking her, and to just bring him in for questioning. Dion says that Travis is from a prominent family, and he doesn’t trust Kelly. Okay, he’s back on my jerkface list. Lushion calls for Steven, but Steven says there’s nothing he can do. Lushion is worried that Travis is going to kill Kelly, but Steven says sorry. He asks Lushion if he told Pete to talk to the FBI. Lushion says that he did, and Steven says he told him to wait. They haven’t gotten Escada yet. He says he’s getting enough heat from upstairs, and just slow down a little. Lushion says he wants Travis brought in. Steven says he can’t, and Lushion says then he will. He’ll make it federal. Steven says Eddie is already on to him, but our beloved Lushion is willing to take the chance. Steven says he’ll bring Travis in.

A-hole Eddie tells Lushion that word on the street is, he’s a baby daddy. He tells Eddie to get out of his face and get the real info. Eddie calls him a bitch, and says he can’t wait until Lushion’s world crumbles around him. Lushion says he has a bitch for Eddie all right.

Lushion goes back to Kelly’s house. He says Travis is nowhere to be found, but there’s a warrant out for his arrest. He tells her forget Dion and Rick, he went over their heads. He says if she needs anything, to call him. He reminds them about the get-together for Natalie.

Esperanza tells Kelly about cheering Natalie up, and asks if she can come. Kelly says it’s not like she has anything else going on. She says it’s hard going into that house and not thinking about Ramses, but Esperanza says maybe they’ve changed things around. Kelly says he was so sweet. She thinks Travis did something to him. He has everybody fooled, but Esperanza says not her and Lushion. She suggests Kelly spend the night at her place, but Kelly doesn’t want to be forced out of her own house. She says his ass better not come back. She says Lushion is also right next door. Esperanza doesn’t like it, but she has to go. Kelly locks the door behind her.

Alex sees a car outside. She goes out to find Brad sitting in the driveway. He says he didn’t know she was home, since there’s no car. She says she had a wreck, and asks if he wants to come in. When he doesn’t, she asks to join him, and gets in the passenger seat. He asks about the baby, and she says that he’s been put into foster care because of her parents. Brad says, sorry to hear that, and she tells him that Randal had a court hearing for custody. The judge almost granted it to him, so she threw a Hail Mary and said he wasn’t the father, but he is. She says all she did was postpone the inevitable. Alex asks why Brad is there, but he doesn’t know. He asks if that’s why Randal thinks the baby is Lushion’s, and tells her about Randal’s visit to his office. She calls Randal a bastard. She tells him that Lushion came over to borrow a candle, and Randal saw him. She talks about how nice it is to have them in the neighborhood, but that she has to straighten things out, and already spoke with Natalie. Brad says Eddie knows, and Alex says great, another excuse for him to hate her. Brad says he still loves her (Brad does, not Eddie), but he’s scared. He doesn’t think he could go through that again, and Alex says it will never happen again. Brad doesn’t think he could live with the baby, and Alex says she thought about that too. She says what if the roles were reversed, and wonders how she would feel.

Alex says that she wants to tell Brad congratulations, and he says for what. She says it’s okay; she knows, but he doesn’t understand what she’s talking about. She says she knows Marcie is pregnant. Brad says she’s not, but Alex says she is; they have the same doctor. She’s surprised that Marcie hasn’t told him. Brad says he has to go – not because of that, because of him. Creepy Randal’s face is at the car window. He says that they have a hearing tomorrow, and Alex should get her beauty rest. He asks if she still wants to meet in the shed, but maybe this isn’t a good time to ask. He says he’ll be in there warming it up, like the d-bag he is.

Brad says he takes it back. Alex tries to explain, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He says he thought he couldn’t do it because of the baby, but it’s really because of Randal. She suggests they move, but Brad says they can’t afford it. He wants to do some bad things to Randal. Join the club. Alex says something bad almost happened to him, but Brad says almost doesn’t count. Alex gets out of the car, and Brad drives off. Randal watches from the porch. Eddie and Randal are the worst.

Randal asks if they’re getting back together, but Alex says nothing. He tells her that he’ll be in the shed. She goes in, and he says maybe not.

Kelly wakes up to a dog barking. She checks on Justice, seeing the top of his head. She pulls down the covers, and he’s fine. She makes sure the windows are locked. I’m as anxious as she is, wondering when and where Travis will pop out. She checks the rest of the house, and I wonder why she’s not carrying a weapon. She makes sure the front windows are locked. I can’t take this stress. She makes sure the doors are locked, and puts the chain on. I can’t stand it. She goes back to bed, but I’m not comfortable.

She turns out the light. Travis’s hand comes over her mouth and I almost scream.

Next time, the 90-minute mid-season finale, Lushion tells Natalie to lock the door, the custody hearing happens, Julius tells Ben that he’s looking for a new crew, Steven says it’s going down, and Lushion says, “Bye, Eddie.”

Below Deck Mediterranean

The wind has picked up, the yacht is about to hit the rocks, and Max is trying to push the boat with the tender. That isn’t a euphemism for anything. He’s supposed to push the yacht with a smaller boat. Captain Sandy asks what he’s waiting for, and she has to explain how it works. Hannah brings chips and dips for the guests, even though she’s concerned. The captain wants to reset the anchors, and Wes explains to the guests that it’s nothing, even though it’s something.

Lauren is annoyed that Bobby is going around talking smack about her. She’d thought they were friends. Bobby whines about being alone and losing his only friend, Hannah. Well, he should have thought about that before. Bugs is feeling down about her grandmother’s passing, and feels like she should be with her family, but tries to keep her chin up. The guests go naked paddle-boarding. Hannah tries to get Chef Adam to put on an apron with a muscle-guy’s body on it, but that’s a no. Captain Sandy is invited to dine with the guests.

More naked news is filmed. A request has been made for a cake shaped like a nude woman for dessert after dinner. Adam finds that baking it is more fun than he thought it would be. The captain is concerned about everyone being nakey at the table.

Bobby whines some more about his life sucking. He wants to be friends with Hannah again. He pulls her aside, and says he jumped to conclusions. Hannah says that she never said anything bad about him, and he says that’s not what Lauren told him. They hug it out, and Hannah says her feelings were hurt. In her interview, Hannah says that Bobby has burned her one too many times, so she’s proceeding with caution.

Four fabulous courses are in the making, and with the captain at the table, the pressure is on. Hannah says it’s important to her, because even though they got off to a rocky start, she and the captain are in a good place now. Anchor watch is set up. Bobby shows Wes a stupid video on his phone, while Lauren slaves over the laundry. In her interview, Hannah says you have to be thick-skinned in the yachting biz.

Lauren isn’t talking to anyone, so Bugs tries to engage her. Lauren says she just wants to do her job, and not be trashed by anyone. She starts getting all weepy, and Bugs can’t believe it, since she just lost her grandma.

The table is gorgeous, with lots of crystal and gold and sparkles. Mr. Skin talks about how he got into the business by watching lots of movies. Adam (who I keep wanting to call “Ben”) flirts with Malia. In his interview, he talks about a long-term relationship he had. His girlfriend never told her parents about him because of cultural differences, and she broke his heart. Lauren overhears Bobby talking about her. Malia is helping at the same time she’s on anchor watch. That sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

Adam tells Hannah that she should slow down and give the guests time to enjoy the meal. Captain Sandy tells a tale of the sea at the table, while the entrees are put together. Bugs says it’s all about communication, and Adam says it’s the first time he’s sweating in the galley. He and Bugs put cake nipples together. The crew don shirts with bikini bodies on them. The captain excuses herself, and claims she’s going to look them up online.

The cake is served. The crew gets a standing ovation, and Bobby sees dollar signs. Mr. Skin says he can’t wait for the pie section, and even I have to laugh. Adam thanks everyone for their help. Apparently, naked cakes are difficult business, and take a village. He watches on closed circuit as one of the guests spins around on the lazy Susan without underwear. Is this one of those bleachable moments?

Lauren calls her father. She tells him she’s feeling alone. In her interview, she says that her parents are going through a messy divorce, and one of the reasons she took the job was to get away from it. She realizes she has to just focus on her work. Hannah and Bugs have coffee on deck, and Hannah gives Bugs kudos for a job well done. Bugs says it’s hard to believe she won’t be doing things anymore with her grandmother. Hannah talks about losing her brother at a young age, when he was just ten. She says Bugs’s family would be proud of her.

Malia is glad for an easy day, since she had to work until 3 am. The deckhands pull up the anchor, but something is wrong. There’s a huge, messy ball of chains that keeps the anchor from going up totally. Malia is like, of course, since it’s her first time pulling up anchor. Max says he’s never seen it this bad, and doesn’t have an actual solution. He explains this is what happens when you have two anchors and the boat starts moving around. Captain Sandy says they’re in trouble, since they have to get the guests to port in time. She says it’s the same as a necklace being tangled; you work the chain until it loosens. Ugh. Good luck.

The guests are starting to look, which puts more pressure on the deckhands. Bobby tries to tell the captain what to do, and she says she needs assistance, not resistance. Bugs says the crew has to keep the drama to themselves, and keep the guests distracted. Bobby continues to tell Captain Sandy how to do her job. She reminds him that she’s been doing this for nearly thirty years. In his interview, Max says when it comes to emergency situations, you just follow orders.

Captain Sandy leans almost entirely over the side of the boat. Max explains that the last thing you want to do is cut the anchor, since those are your brakes. The guests do some more naked news, and the captain calls for a water taxi. Wes gets into the water. He wants to see what he can from a safe distance.

Somehow, they make things worse, and the wind is picking up. Hannah explains to the guests that they’re having a problem with the anchor, but they’re getting a tender to bring them back so they can enjoy the afternoon. Captain Sandy gives the deckhands instructions over the walkie-talkie. Ooh, Adam is in full distraction mode and just made the most amazing appetizers. One of the guests says it’s plant-based paradise. Hannah calls for help putting the luggage on the taxi, and the captain tells the crew to get in their dress uniforms. Bobby is concerned the delay will affect their tip.

The guests had a fabulous – or “skintastic” – time. Mr. Skin tells the crew how much they enjoyed themselves. He has some individual compliments, and calls the captain “badass,” giving her the tip. He adds that getting stuck didn’t affect anything; they’re all happy. The guests board the tender. The captain tells the crew to grab something to eat and get back to it; they’ll deal with the tip later. Bobby says it’s like being on Gilligan’s Island, except they’re the island. He explains to Bugs how the anchor got tangled.

Bugs calls home, and says she wants to be there. If they want her to come, she will. Sounds like she’s staying. Lauren apologizes to Bugs, and says she was being selfish. They hug it out, but Bugs isn’t sure what she’s apologizing for. I guess her mind is (understandably) somewhere else, since she was previously annoyed with Lauren being self-centered.

A rope gets tangled in the anchor lines, and one of the deckhands tries to cut it. In the meantime, the girls decide to go for a swim. Adam is content to watch. It’s illegal to pull into port without an anchor, and no way is the captain losing them. We hear a big noise. To be continued…

Next time, who knows? They didn’t say. We never got to my favorite part either – tip time.

🍸 Tomorrow, Bethenny is a guest on Watch What Happens Live. I always look forward to her spilling the tea. The LA week has been fun so far, but I’m really not feeling the large, vocal audience.

May 16, 2017 – Nelle is Found, Julius Visits Randal, Naked People on a Boat & Some Extra Stuff


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Michael sees Nina at the MetroCourt and asks if she’s spoken to Nelle, but she hasn’t, and she hasn’t checked her messages. He says she might want to listen to the message Nelle left; she’s quitting. Charlotte comes running up to Nina. Lulu has her there for ice cream. Lulu tells Nina that no one picked Charlotte up from school, so they called her. Nelle was a no-show.

That’s because she’s unconscious on the docks.

Elizabeth and Franco bring the boys home. Franco tells Jake that he totally scored with his magic act, and they’ll open the rest of the presents tomorrow, when Jason and Sam are there. Ack. This show has a bit of a problem with continuity at times – they said they were doing that yesterday. Elizabeth and Franco go to the kitchen, and Jake tells Aiden not to tell anyone what he saw, not even Cameron. It’s a secret.

Griff is washing up, since we have to see him shirtless as often as possible. He makes a call to Anna and leaves a message. He says he wants to make sure she’s taking care of herself, and if she needs anything, he’s there.

In London, Anna tries to speak, and the doctor calls for a sedative. He prepares the injection, and she says, no, it’s a mistake. He tells Sister Caroline that the patient has to be sedated at all times.

We revisit fake Anna and Valentin’s scene from yesterday. She says she only wants him, and he rips the chimera necklace off of her. He says she just wants the Chimera, and after all this time, he’s a step ahead of her. She squawks about the necklace, and he says that can be fixed, but the watch probably can’t. He tells her that it’s just as well. He doesn’t want anyone listening in on what’s going to happen.

The doctor tells Sister Caroline that the patient is disoriented, and he doesn’t want her causing herself harm. He tells Caroline to do her job and he’ll do his. In her mind, Anna tells herself not to give in and to fight it.

Valentin says the watch explains how “Anna” knew where and when to find him, and why she didn’t want to take the watch back. She admits to spying on him, and says he’s created the life he’s wanted for himself. It includes Nina and Charlotte, but it’s the illusion of a family. They come from the same place and have made the same compromises. Nina will never understand, and maybe that’s why he wants more. Within their lies is a truth that Nina can never understand. Valentin says he understands she wanted the Chimera so much, she was willing to trash his life, so good luck seducing it out of him.

Jake tells Aiden that he wasn’t supposed to see it, and Jake is the only one who can use it. Elizabeth and Franco come back in. Elizabeth thinks Aiden is tired, so she sends him upstairs. Jake won’t let Franco touch the box, saying a magician never gives up his secrets. Franco says he has a point. Franco asks if he wants to do an encore of last year for the Nurses Ball, but Jake wants a solo. He’s going to do magic.

Griff sees Charlotte at the bar eating ice cream. I guess Port Charles has no laws prohibiting children sitting at bars like like we do IRL. He tells her that he and her father had angry words, but he didn’t mean to scare her. He asks if they can be friends. Charlotte says she’s supposed to be polite to him. He asks if he can join her.

Lulu doesn’t understand why Valentin can’t be bothered to pick up his messages. Nina says he was otherwise engaged. She asks Lulu if she didn’t want to spend more time Charlotte. They all wonder where Nelle is. Michael leaves to find out. Lulu says Nina is being quiet, and Nina says her feelings are none of Lulu’s business. Lulu says as Charlotte’s mother, she has a right to know what’s going on, and she’d care less about Nina’s life if it didn’t impact her daughter’s.

Charlotte shares her ice cream with Griff. She shows him a flyer for a spring festival at her school. He thinks she should invite everyone. She says she’ll invite him if he doesn’t fight with her poppa. He apologizes for losing his temper, and asks her to forgive him.

Nina tells Lulu sorry that she’s not getting dramatic, but she’s trying to show Charlotte that when things don’t go your way, you adjust and move on. Michael comes back, telling them that the housekeeper at Windemere hasn’t seen Nelle, even though all of her things are there, and Nelle isn’t answering her phone. He wants to go out to Windemere, and Nina tells him to call them when he finds out anything. Nina says she doesn’t have time to deal with Lulu. Lulu says Charlotte thought her father left her like Claudette did. Nina says he would never do that. Lulu says to tell Valentin it’s going to cost him. Nina says tell him herself, because she’s not going back to Windemere.

Elizabeth asks if Jake feels better about things. Franco says he was on the island and it’s a scary place. Jake says he’s not scared anymore. Franco suggests he practice some magic.

Sister Caroline says she’s grateful for the doctor saving “Alex’s” life. He tells her that he doesn’t need her gratitude, just her cooperation. Anna thinks, just help me, and Caroline tells her not to fight it, and just rest.

Valentin says “Anna” didn’t care about the reach of the Chimera when she asked him to steal it, now she’s using her powers for good? She says it’s for them. He calls her delusional and arrogant. (Who else is delusional and arrogant? Keep thinking.) She says their pull toward each other is stronger than the lies they tell themselves. He’s still alive because she cared about him. She gets testy about the Chimera, and says just tell her where it is, so it can be over. Then she corrects herself, saying then they can be together, if he wants.

Lulu asks Nina if there’s trouble. Nina says she’s going to be working into the night, and so is Valentin. Griff joins them with Charlotte, and tells them he was invited to the spring festival. Nina says it’s Charlotte’s night, and she can invite whoever she wants. Charlotte goes to get her backpack, and Lulu says Charlotte is coming home with her.

Michael calls out for Nelle at the docks. He sees the crates toppled, and finds her. He tells her she’s going to be okay, and calls 911. Yeah. You’re the jerk who left her there alone in the dark, when there have been 47 murders there.

Franco shuffles the cards. Elizabeth picks one. Jake says don’t show it to him. He makes the correct guess, a queen of hearts. Franco says they’re all queens, and turns them over. Sure enough, they are. Jake says not all, and tells Franco to look in his wallet, where he finds a king of hearts. Jake says a magician never tells his secrets, and goes upstairs. Franco says he must have done it at the park, and Elizabeth says maybe he can do magic. They agree it’s good to see him acting normal.

“Anna” tells Valentin that it’s always been about them and what they need. Passion and betrayal goes hand in hand. If he didn’t want it as much as she did, he wouldn’t have let Nina leave. She talks about what she heard when listening in, and says the marriage was never going to last, because Nina doesn’t know who he really is. He tells her to stop it. She asks if he’s going to kill her or make love to her. I was actually hoping for him ripping off her mask.

Nelle is brought into the hospital. Michael says she came to briefly and seemed to recognize him, but he thinks she was attacked. Her purse and phone are nowhere to be found. He tells them she only has one kidney. Griff wheels her in.

Nina tells Lulu not to be ridiculous; Charlotte is coming with her. Lulu asks if she’s going to sleep on the office floor, and says she’s taking her home. Nina says if the judge finds out, Lulu is going to have a problem, but Lulu says the judge will see that Valentin’s perfect life isn’t so perfect. Nina says they didn’t call her, and Lulu says that’s because she’s not Charlotte’s mother. Nina says she couldn’t love Charlotte more if she’d given birth to her. Lulu says she should want what’s best for Charlotte then.

Franco moves in for a kiss, but Elizabeth is like, not now. He says she was glad to see him at the park, but she says the problem is that he lied. He says he just left out some details. She says she thought they were in it together, and he tells her that she would have tried to talk him out of it. They argue a little, say I love you, and kiss.

“Anna” asks why Valentin is doing this, when what they want is to be together. He says they don’t always want what’s best for themselves. She asks what’s the alternative, deny what they want? She says separately, they’re forces to be reckoned with, but together, they’re unstoppable. No more games. He says she’s right. Game over. She loses.

Caroline tells real Anna, sorry, and calls her Dr. Merrick. Anna thinks she has to resist, but the more she fights, the weaker she becomes. She tells herself it’s like a current, and to slip away and rise to the surface. She tries to mess with the tube in her arm, and Caroline starts to call for Dr. Lancaster, but Anna grabs her arm.

Elizabeth says that Franco was trying too hard to protect her, and he says that she was trying too hard to protect him from Jason. He says whatever should come up in their lives together, he’ll trust her. She says from now on she’ll trust that he can take risks. He thinks they’re good at the relationship thing. They kiss some more, and Jake comes downstairs.

Charlotte says she’s ready to go home. Lulu asks if she’d like to spend night. Nina says she and Charlotte’s poppa are both working late, and she can do a sleepover. Charlotte agrees and leaves with Lulu.

Anna wonders why she’s there at the hospital. Caroline says Dr. Lancaster found her in her flat. Anna says that’s not right, and Caroline says she’s just disoriented and she’ll get the doctor.  Anna says, please don’t. She’s not Alex; she’s Anna Devane.

“Anna” tells Valentin there’s still a way they can both win. Tell her where the Chimera is, and they’ll both be free and be equals. They’ll be two people who understand each other. Valentin tells her that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, but he says that’s not true. It’s really drinking the same poison over and over, and thinking you can handle it. He’s been addicted to her, but he’s cured now. She says just like that, and he says it’s like a fever broke, and he knows what he has to do. He grabs a scarf and begins to wrap the ends around his hands, saying she’s pushed him too far. He comes toward her.

Michael remembers his last conversation with Nelle, and telling her she had no reason to stay. Griff is concerned with potential kidney trauma.

Jake forgot his magic box. Elizabeth says they’ll be back after tucking Aiden in. When they’re gone, Jake opens the box.  He takes out the Chimera. He says he wishes he was a real magician, because he’d make it disappear and would never have to think about it again.

Caroline tells Anna that she’s Alex Merrick. Anna says she doesn’t know how she got here, but the doctor is in on it. Caroline says this is her clinic, and that the doctor will explain everything. Anna stops her, and says she’s not sick. She’s being held against her will and Caroline has to help her. Dr. Lancaster overhears and makes a mean soap opera face.

Nina looks at her ring. She remembers Valentin giving it to her. Valentin walks in, and says he has so much to tell her. She asks if he was with Anna. He says he was, and thanks her for forcing him to admit what he knew all along – Anna was playing him. He says she won’t be coming between them again – ever.

Tomorrow, Valentin says he’ll get Nina to trust him again, Lulu says life is full of unexpected surprises, Martina tells Sonny that he has the most to lose, and Dr. Lancaster asks what’s going on.

If Loving You is Wrong

The officer, whose name no one ever says, tells Kelly he has a warrant for her DNA. She says she had nothing to do with Ramses’ murder, but he says since she’s been in the house, they need to exclude her. Kelly starts to argue, and he says they have to eliminate everyone who was there. Kelly says she’s not doing anything without a lawyer; she doesn’t trust him. He asks if her temper gets her in trouble. He tells Kelly that she can call her lawyer, but he has an actual warrant, and asks what it’s going to be. She says fine, take it. She sees Travis and is like, wth?

Commercial break with vital information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on June 20.

Travis says that he got a call from his parents that he was wanted at the station. Kelly starts making a fuss, so Rick takes her to get the test done. The officer tells Travis that he didn’t listen to Rick when he told Travis to stay away from Kelly, so stay away. Travis insists she wanted him to pick up Justice, and asks if he has to call every time Kelly wants a favor. The officer doesn’t understand why he would help her if she’s so crazy. Travis says he’s a child of God and she asked for help, and the officer says even God wants him to use common sense. Travis says he has the evidence. The officer says he has a restraining order against her too, so stay away from both Kelly and Justice, and block her number. Travis asks if he can go, and the officer tells him have a nice day, but won’t shake his hand. Officer No-Name and I didn’t start off on the right foot, but he’s growing on me. I have the feeling he’s thinking more than he’s saying.

Kelly asks the officer if he’s just going to let Travis leave. He says he told Travis to stay away from her and block her number. She asks what happened to serving and protecting. He says he’s seen this kind of situation go bad. She says she hasn’t done anything. He says, sorry. She walks out, and he calls after her, saying that she should really let this go.

Esperanza is watching the kids in the park. She calls Kelly, and asks what happened. Kelly says she doesn’t want to know. Esperanza tells her that she has Justice. Kelly asks why Alex is always leaving people’s children, and Esperanza says they both called and texted her five times. Kelly tells her about how Travis was let go. Esperanza says ever since the captain’s been gone, nothing has been done right, so she’s going to check into it. Kelly says the officer gave him a warning, but Travis isn’t going to listen. She says she’s never had a man like this before. Esperanza says she has, and Kelly is doing all the right things. She asks about the restraining order, and Kelly says she has to get a new lawyer. She tells Esperanza about them wanting DNA because she was in Ramses’ house. Esperanza says she had to do it once, and it’s normal procedure. Esperanza offers to drop off Justice, and Kelly says she’ll watch Alex’s kids until she gets home. I have to add that Esperanza is not dressed like anyone dresses to play with kids in the park. She’s wearing a tight sweater that couldn’t be cut any lower, and velvet pants. And boots. I didn’t notice what kind of heels they had. I was too busy staring at her cleavage. Geez.

Natalie’s phone rings. It’s a collect call from Joey in prison. He says he’s sorry, and asks how she is. She asks if they’re taking care of him, and he says he’s fine. He tells her that it’s his fault; he shouldn’t have carried the gun. She says he shouldn’t have, but she’s glad he did. If he hadn’t had the gun, he’d be dead. She tells him she loves him, and he says he loves her too. She tells him everything is going to be okay, and she’s getting him out of there. He says that would be great, but he just wants her to be happy. The recording tells them one more minute. Natalie says he makes her happy, and Joey thanks her for saying that. She says he was doing good. He could have gone back out on the streets, but didn’t; she’s proud of him. They have thirty seconds, and say another I love you. Natalie says she’ll see him soon, and he says he’ll be waiting. She hangs up, and starts to cry.

Lushion comes in, and Natalie says she’s all right. He says no she’s not, but it’s okay. He tells her to take a break, but she says she has too much to do. He says to let it go and let her heart break. She cries on his shoulder. He says he’s got her, and rocks her like a baby. Lushion is the best.

There’s a knock at Randal’s door. It’s Julius. Randal and I make the same astonished face, and Randal says it’s a surprise. Julius asks to come in. He says that Randal has done something different with the house, but Randal says he just had the carpets cleaned. There are no carpets, so I don’t know what to think about that. Do you send carpets out to be cleaned? Julius tells Randal that his father cut him out of the will, and it’s because Randal gave the attorney an evaluation of him. He reads from it. It says, among other things, that he’s a narcissist, and for his own good, shouldn’t be in control of anything without a trustee. Randal says he’s sorry. He and Julius Sr. had a history; he’d testified in a lot of his court cases. Julius says his father is gone now, but he’s going to give Randal an opportunity to right this wrong. He wants him to rewrite the evaluation. Randal says sure. Julius says make sure he gets it to the attorney, who’s his attorney now.

Julius says he heard some racist wanted to hang Randal. Randal says it’s true. Julius says if the evaluation had gone to the court, he would have wished they’d succeeded. He changes his mind, saying that he’ll pick up the evaluation himself. Randal says he’ll have it by tomorrow, and the next one will be so much better. He tells Julius that his attorney will have to sign and notarize it. Julius says when his attorney’s hand is better, he will, explaining that he was stabbed with a letter opener. He asks Randal if they’re friends, and Randal says sure. Julius hugs him. He tells Randal, burn him again, he’ll be the one who hangs Randal. Randal isn’t having the best week, but that’s okay with me.

Eddie bursts into Brad’s office. Brad asks Eddie to leave him alone. Eddie gets loud about Lushion banging Brad’s wife. He tells him on top of it, Lushion is undercover FBI. Brad tells him the drugs are making him paranoid. Eddie says he’s working on proof. Brad says he has a client coming, and Eddie has to leave. Alex walks in, and Eddie wastes no time in calling her a slut. Brad says Eddie is leaving, but Eddie says he’s not letting her work her snake charm on him, because he doesn’t understand what a snake charmer does. Brad pushes him out the door and I laugh. Eddie is a borderline comic character to begin with, since he’s so ridiculous.

Brad tells Alex, sorry, and asks what’s up. She says she doesn’t know; she doesn’t even know why she’s there. She just wanted to see him. She says she’s sorry. She knows she’s said it a million times, and Brad says they both have. She says he didn’t do anything, and he says he called her parents. She says she did that too. He asks what now, and she says she wants to thank him for saving her son. He tells her she’s welcome. She knows the kind-hearted man she fell in love with is still in there, and wants to thank him.

Idiot Eddie comes back in with Marcie. Brad pushes him back out the door again, and I laugh again. Brad asks what Marcie is doing there. She says she came to take him to dinner, and calls him her handsome lover. Brad says he told her to stop doing this. Alex says bye, and Marcie taunts her as she leaves. Brad asks why she’s doing this, and she says, sorry. Brad tells her that he can’t go to dinner, and Marcie asks what Alex wanted. Brad says she thanked him for saving her child. I wonder why Marcie acts like she’s high half the time. He tells her he has to get back to work, and she leaves. Someone get Brad some Tylenol.

Pete calls Lushion and asks if it’s true that Andrew is missing. Lushion says it is, and Pete asks if it was Eddie. Lushion thinks it was, and Pete says he has to be stopped. Lushion is thinking it needs to go to the FBI, but thinks they’re already on to it. He asks Pete why he thinks the FBI guy is outside his door. Pete asks about the tape, and Lushion says they couldn’t find it. He tells Pete that the most important thing is stopping Eddie. Lushion says the FBI is already outside his door, but if he wants to, go for it. Pete says they have to find Andrew, and Lushion says they’re trying. Pete thinks Ben might know. He was outside trying to distract the officer when Eddie tried to put a needle in Pete’s IV. Lushion says to make sure he tells them that too. Pete thinks Andrew might be dead, since Eddie is a stone-cold killer. Lushion tells him to tell the officer everything, and says he’ll drop by later.

Randal goes to Marcie and Brad’s apartment, with the excuse that he brought her mail. He talks about what a dump it is and she says it’s better than a shed for sex. She tells him to get out, but he won’t leave. He asks what’s in the other room. She says the bed where they have sex every night, now go. He says he’s not done yet, and she says fine, he can watch how she greets Brad. Randal says if she has to say how great he is, he must be terrible. Marcie says she used to say the same about him, and pretends to fake it. She says it’s called acting, and asks why he’s there. He thought she might want to know the child might not be his after all. She doesn’t care. He says it might be Lushion’s and she tells him to get out with all of it. She says he’s trying to get her to make trouble for Natalie, but he says he already told her, and he’s surprised they didn’t break up. Marcie says they’re solid, and he says maybe Natalie isn’t as “ghetto-dumb” as he thought. Randal says it smells like broke in the apartment, and Marcie says in a minute it will smell like glorious sex. She says next time he wants to spread a lie, find someone stupid. He tells her he misses her and that she must miss it. She tells him to get out. He finally leaves.

Kelly has a flat tire. She changes her shoes, saying if it’s not one thing, it’s another. She opens the trunk and Travis pops out, scaring us both. He throws her down, and puts his hand over her mouth. He asks why she went to the cops, and threatens to kill her. She struggles and tries to scream, and he puts one hand over her mouth and the other on her throat.

Next time, Lushion can’t get anything out of Alex about Andrew, Brad talks to Alex, and Lushion tells Eddie to get out of his face. There’s one more episode before the finale.

Below Deck Mediterranean

We flash back to the crew’s night out and Bobby going apesh*t on Hannah for basically no reason. She asks what she’s done to him, and he says she threw him under the bus. Malia says they weren’t talking about him, but he doesn’t believe it. Hannah keeps asking what she said, and he finally closes the door in her face. She calls him a steroid injected d*ckhead, and says she’ll be remembering the conversation for a long time.

In the morning, Hannah and Malia whisper about what happened. Hannah says sometimes Bobby’s ego gets overly inflated, and Malia is like, sorry. Meanwhile, Bobby is talking smack about Hannah to the deckhands. Hannah tells Lauren that Bobby went psycho. Lauren says she doesn’t remember Hannah ever saying anything bad about him. In her interview, Lauren tells us that she was supposed to go on a date with Bobby, and he brought a couple of other girls along. They ran into Hannah, who couldn’t believe it, and told Lauren it was disrespectful. That never happened to me, but I’m pretty sure if it had, I would not have gone on the date.

The primary guest is a dude named Jim aka Mr. Skin, who has a website devoted to nakey celebs. His wife Michele and some key employees will also be in attendance. Hannah remembers the Tilted Kilt cruise, and how it didn’t end well with one of the crew members. As usual, there are a million dietary restrictions, which are different for everyone, and the guests also want to film a naked news segment.

Bobby tells Lauren that he wants to talk to Hannah, but Lauren doesn’t want to get involved. He says it’s happening, and she tells him to work it out with Hannah himself. He says he’s pulling her in and she’d better have his back. Bobby put the d in d-bag.

Chef Adam goes shopping at the outdoor market. Supplies are brought on board. In her interview, Hannah says there’s no coming back from the altercation with Bobby.  Wes almost puts regular cardboard in the microwave.

Bobby apologizes for insulting Hannah, BUT (Dr. Phil would say that negates the apology) says all he could think about is her trashing him to Lauren. Hannah says all she told Lauren was that it was unfair of him to bring other women on their date. A-hole Bobby calls Lauren to come to the deck. He’s annoyed that Hannah called him aggressive. Maybe he doesn’t know what that word means, because his picture is the definition. Lauren joins them, saying to call her the liar. She says they were drinking, and she doesn’t even remember what was said. She asks why he’s so upset, and he says the two of them are playing games. Lauren asks to go back to her work, and Bobby asks why she doesn’t go screw Ben. Ben gets my vote, but where did that come from, especially since he’s not on this charter?

In his interview, Bobby talks about taking Lauren somewhere, and her leaving with Ben. That actually sounds like poetic justice, considering that he brought extras to their date. Hannah says this has nothing to do with her, but Bobby insists they’re conspiring against him. Lauren calls Ben. She tells him she’s getting along great with Hannah. In her interview, she says that she and Ben hit it off, and he’s more her type than Bobby. She tells Ben about Bobby being a jerk, and telling her to go off with him. She tells Ben she misses him, and he says ditto.

Bobby calls his mommy. He tells her he’s been blindsided and duped. He says he got screwed over by Lauren. His mother’s heart is broken. In his interview, he tells us that he took this job to meet women. How’s that workin’ for ya? He starts bawling about some woman named Alex. He claims her mother thought he didn’t make enough money. His mom heaps him with praise, and makes raise-the-roof hand gestures.

Hannah has a stew meeting. She explains what Mr. Skin does, how tacky it is, and tells them there’s going to be a naked news filming.

Captain Sandy wants to make sure the deckhands can drop anchor successfully, and has them practice. In his interview, Bobby says that the captain doesn’t get on you when you make a mistake, but you feel it, and it’s worse. I translate that to mean it’s tough for Bobby to actually work and do things right.

Malia chats with Wes while they hose off the deck. Bugs gets a call from her mother. Her grandmother has passed away. Hannah says whatever she needs, she has. The captain talks about losing her mother when she was on a boat, and tells Bugs she’s there for her. In her interview, Bugs tells us how close they were, and how she wants to pull herself together, because it’s what her grandmother would want.

Everyone gets ready to greet the guests. After they arrive, Hannah does the tour. Lauren wants to stay as busy as possible to keep her mind off of idiot Bobby. Captain Sandy instructs the deckhands, while Mr. Skin instructs his employees about the photos he wants. Adam chops fruit. Hannah gives him a list of guest demands. All gluten free. The guests begin to film, and the captain is concerned about a family-centric boat coming past.

Lauren says it’s awkward with Bobby, who’s going out of his way to ignore her. Bugs is asked for help with a shot at the hot tub, and says there are unmentionable parts staring her right in the eyeballs. Wes is hoping not to mess up the anchor with all the naked ladies around.

The lunch table isn’t naked, and is beautifully adorned with a beach theme. Lunch is served. One of the guests is mistakenly served octopus when she opted out of that, but chooses not to get a replacement dish. She says that Adam’s cooking is so good, she might become a convert. Mr. Skin mentions a breast reduction, and one of the women doesn’t understand why anyone would do that. Bobby says you can’t not look.

Bobby wants Malia to know the fun Bobby instead of the pissed off Bobby. That should last all of five minutes. Max is impressed with how well Bugs is holding up. It’s dinnertime. In his interview, Adam says he’s never eaten raw, as one guest has requested, but if something makes him uncomfortable, bring it on. Lauren thinks Bobby has built up resentment from before. Another gorgeous table and meal is presented.

Lauren asks to talk to Bobby. She hates confrontation, and wonders if he wants a hug or milkshake. In her interview, Bugs says losing her grandma is one of many challenges, and she’s proud of how she held up. Lauren tells Bobby that she’s sorry she hurt him, however she hurt him. He says he jumped to conclusions about Hannah talking smack about him. Lauren says so did she, confusing Bobby. That’s probably not hard, but it does sound like she’s waffling. She tells him that he needs to own up to things. He’s 31 and a grown-ass man. He got drunk, and attacked both her and Hannah. They end up with no resolution and time wasted. No surprise. I don’t like the way Lauren is playing both sides – no doubt to avoid a conflict, but just making it worse – but Bobby is one of those people who will never admit he’s wrong.

Captain Sandy wants a rock to tie on; it helps to create a private sanctuary among the cliffs for the guests. Bobby complains to Wes in the crew mess. Lauren suggests they take it to their room instead of making it awkward. In the galley, Lauren asks if she can talk to Hannah. Hannah jokes around, asking Adam what he did to her. They go out on the deck, and Lauren tells Hannah about Bobby talking smack to the deckhands about her, making her uncomfortable. In her interview, Hannah says she has no time for tears and tantrums, but she’s concerned with Lauren’s well-being at work. She tells her not to let it affect her mentally.

Another glorious meal happens. Max and Wes go out to put a chain on the rocks they’ll anchor to. The guests are impressed with the location, which is beyond beautiful, with a private grotto. Bobby is stressed because he knows the captain is watching. She tells them excellent job. More food! A sink starts to overflow. Adam, Hannah, and Malia all help Lauren, who is desperately bailing water out of it. Hannah says it’s their job to make sure the guests don’t know what’s happening. The water finally starts to recede.

Some guests take photos and others play in the water. The wind picks up, and the boat is getting too close to the cliffs. Captain Sandy wants Max to push the boat with the tinder, but he seems to be ignoring her.

Next time, Lauren thinks it’s unfair, Adam gets stressed and snippy, and there are issues with the anchor chain.

🍸 I checked out What Happens at The Abbey. It looks like a trash heap. The Abbey is a celebrity bar in Hollywood that’s gone through several incarnations. One bartender tells us if you have a dream, it’s the place to make it come true, but I find that hard to believe. Another says it’s the only place where a lesbian and a straight woman will fight over who’s going to have a gay man’s baby. I’ll take their word for it. Some guy named Daniel tells us he started the man bun, and I hate him already. After the first couple of minutes, I wonder if I can even watch this, and then Brandi Glanville walks in, and I’m pretty sure I can’t. She’s just as creepy as ever. As a matter-of-fact, most of these people seem creepy. And needless to say, extremely into themselves. There was an upside when Tori Spelling arrived. I’ve loved her ever since I saw her in Trick. If you’ve never seen that movie, I highly recommend it, especially if you like musicals. The plot revolves around a gay guy who’s writing a musical, and Tori is his best friend. She also has the Best. Monologue. Ever. Said guy, played by Christian Campbell, is also trying to get his date alone, but everything possible happens to thwart them. It’s very sweet and clever, and his song that keeps cropping up, Enter You, will be your ear worm forever. The fact that I got so off track just goes to show how bad The Abbey is, and how I want to get it out of my mind as quickly as possible.

🚛 I also watched one of my favorites, Hoarders. I also love Hoarding: Buried Alive, but, same thing. They were airing quite a few of them, and the last episode I caught showed two fails, which is unusual. One was a woman who was of the mindset that when the world was in its last days, people would come to her for stuff. Because we’ll all need moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She just wouldn’t accept that she had a mental disorder or accept the help, although for a while, they moved things from pile to pile. At the end, Corey talked about her victim mentality, and that she’ll have the perverse satisfaction of thinking that she’s been screwed over again. The other hoarder was also a woman, and they were able to clear out her place, but she wasn’t happy because of what she had to give up. More moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She had a really cute home when it was over too. I thought it was brave of the program to air unsuccessful efforts.

Why should they have to lose any more than they’d lost?Hoarding: Buried Alive