Category Archives: Tyler Perry

January 22, 2020 – When Will It End, Changes, You Can Dress Them Up, Soon To Come, Nora, Deckwads, More Goodbyes, Yet Another, Breaking Meghan, AMC News & Hazy


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

GH was once again preempted for what I like to call, oh my God is this guy still talking? At this point, I have no clue what’s going on with this it, and don’t think they do either. While yesterday’s episode was supposed to shown today, it was noticeably absent. The magic of the internet failed as well, since it was stuck on yesterday’s episode. If anything pops up before I go to bed, I’ll post it, but if not, here’s the link to yesterday if you didn’t catch it:

Here’s a kind of, sort of, not really explanation:

🤷🏻‍♀️ I am no good with a spontaneous change in schedule, especially if it involves free time. Not that there is ever any free time – it’s like extra money, always absorbed by a need. Since I went to bed at the crack of dawn, when I realized GH wasn’t happening, I figured I’d catch it online later, took a nap, and overslept. Then I made my uneventful attempt to find it, and realizing for a second time that it wasn’t going to happen, watched a documentary about Courtney Love. Very productive.

🏖 On The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa tried to guilt Marge about not inviting her to the Mother’s Day brunch. Jackie’s house in the Hamptons is gorgeous, and reminds me of some of the houses here. Not mine. Jackie talked to Teresa, saying Marge didn’t expect her to drop Danielle, but at least have her back about Danielle trying to yank out her ponytail. Marge told Teresa that Charles Manson never did anything to her, but she’s not bringing him into the friend group. This might have been a good analogy had Teresa known who Charles Manson was. In her interview, Melissa informed us that historical figures were not Teresa’s thing. I’m not so sure there’s much world knowledge that is her thing. When Marge demanded to know why Teresa didn’t tell Danielle to knock it off, it was too much for Teresa’s brain, and she had to walk away. It always amazes me how much these women pack for a weekend, but then again, I used to bring at least five pairs of shoes for a weekend at the Shore because you never know. Now I live here because I’m destined to live in tourist traps. But I digress.

The women went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. Not-so Juicy Joe called, and suggested Dolores find Teresa a doctor, so he and Teresa could have a relationship like Dolores and Frank. Teresa told the women that he’d also said she had too much baggage for any man to want her. Jackie talked about her husband signing a prenup because she has family money, which led to Jennifer pumping Jackie for financial information. The next day, they went shopping, and Jennifer split off with Marge to find a gift for Marge Sr. Jennifer told Marge she thought Jackie was stingy, based on the fact Jackie didn’t throw ostentatious parties for her children, and just had pizza like a normal mom. The group reconvened for lunch, and as soon as Jennifer went to the bathroom, Marge had to tell Jackie about the stingy comment. When Jennifer came back, after she got over being blindsided, she told Jackie to take the stick out of her ass and enjoy life. She felt Jackie wasn’t making her children’s experiences memorable. In her interview, Jennifer said if she was getting thrown under the bus, she was taking Marge, and pointed out that Marge said Jackie doesn’t eat. Marge immediately apologized, which Jackie said was the difference between a friend and an a-hole, but Teresa felt a friend should speak their mind. Jackie suggested Jennifer not come to any more of her parties if she was so bothered. Melissa said Jackie was a saver, and to watch whose kids were nicely set up years from now. Of course this was in a restaurant where people were watching, and ended with Jennifer tossing glassware, and Melissa getting to her feet. To be continued…

📺 On last night’s HAHN, an ad for the new season of If Loving You Is Wrong said, coming soon. Whatever that means. I suppose it all depends on your definition of soon. The definitive word on The Shahs of Sunset is that returns on Sunday, February 9th at 9 pm. You can read all about the coming drama here:

🗽 I caught Awkwafina’s Nora from Queens, and loved it. Reminiscent of Margaret Cho’s All American Girl, but grittier and with more weed.

🛥 A Nail Gets Hit On the Head…

I couldn’t believe what an accurate description this was of the d-bags dudes on Below Deck. Not Captain Lee – it’s never Captain Lee. The best quote: Kevin’s back went out because his skeleton can’t even support all the sh*t he talks. Sounds about right.

🌠 Because It’s Hard To Let Go…

Another roll call. I don’t know why, but I can never get enough of these.,%202019_08_30_27

👋🏽 And So It Begins…

One for the coming roll call. Blessed are the cheesemakers, and RIP Brian’s mom.

👠 Lookin’ Bad As Hell…

Girlfriend needs to pull herself together, eat something, and dust her shoes of this guy for good.

🎭 Like It’s Not Crowded Enough…

It’s like feast or famine with the programming. Right now, Tuesday is a battlefield, and it looks like Sunday will be joining it soon. Fans of the Dead will be thrilled, but AMC has some great entertainment to come in general. I am wondering how NOS4ATU got another season though. Not that it wasn’t good, but I thought that was the end of the story.

❄️ Still Waiting…

I feel like Charlie Brown on Halloween, everyone gets snow, and all we get is a lousy bag of rain.

January 21, 2020 – No Trial Soap For You, Jim’s Kidnap Plot Thickens, Tom Rains On Stassi’s Book Signing & Morning Gibberish


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


GH was preempted in the US today. SPOILER ALERT – here it is anyway. I’m guessing this will be shown tomorrow, but it looked like a last minute decision today, so who knows?

General Hospital

Mike tells Sonny, nice place, as they walk into a bar. Sitting at the bar, Jason sees a guy with a gun, and yells for everybody to get down. There’s a bunch of shooting, all at the same time in various locations with various characters ducking and running for cover. Question mark over my head.

Sonny walks into a bar with Mike and Jason, which is not the beginning of a joke. Mike says his back hurts, and asks what the place is. Sonny says he heard there was great pastrami there, and thought they’d have lunch. Mike flirts with the waitress, who goes to get him coffee. He says, she’s a firecracker. Sonny shows Jason a table, and says Mike used to sit there. Jason asks if it was his betting office, and Sonny says, pretty much. He thought bringing Mike there might spark something, but it’s different now. The chances of having an incident there are high. This has to work.

Michael sees Josslyn on the docks, and thanks her for meeting him there. He knows it’s random, but he’s meeting the mayor there. She asks what’s so important he had to meet in person. He says he’s moving Nelle into the Quartermaines. Josslyn says, oh hell no.

At the MetroCourt, Nelle tells Carly, it’s a bond that can’t be broken; once you conceive a child with someone. Michael wasted no time asking her to move in. Carly says she heard about Nelle’s little stunt at the hospital. Nelle asks if she’s referring to her how she survived a brutal attack by Ryan, but Carly says she meant Nelle’s run-in with Wiley. They both know she’s not the maternal type. Nelle says she’s just being cruel. It’s been over a year, and she still aches for her son. Carly tells her, mention Jonah one more time, and see what happens.

Sasha and Willow sit at one of the tables, and Sasha says, so that’s Nelle. Willow says, lovely, isn’t she? Sasha says she’s glad Nelle won’t be anywhere close to Wiley, but Willow says she’s freaking out. Brad is completely off the rails, and now he’s solely responsible for Wiley’s well-being. What is she going to do?

Lulu asks if Charlotte had fun at Crimson, and Charlotte says, the best. Nina says they made her work, and Lulu suggests Charlotte clean up and they can head out. Jax says, she’s an art director in the making. Lulu thinks Valentin’s arraignment is happening as they speak, and asks how Nina is. Nina says she’s fine, and Lulu says she thinks Robert’s goal was to get the judge to deny bail. Hopefully, Nina won’t have to worry about him showing up, and Lulu won’t have to worry about him sniffing around Charlotte. It won’t be a problem once she gets full custody. Nina ask if Lulu thinks keeping Charlotte away from Valentin is a good idea. It seems extreme, and they can all agree that Valentin and Charlotte love each other. Lulu says, of course (🍷), but Valentin has a funny way of showing it. Nina thinks it might do more harm than good, but Lulu says they’ll cross that bridge when they come to it. Right now, all she cares about is keeping her daughter safe, and that can’t happen if she’s with Valentin.

On a private plane, Ava tells Nikolas she can practically hear him brooding. He says he’s sorry he’s not over his son cutting him out of his life a couple of hours ago. She says, Spencer is furious; maybe even hates Nikolas. He asks if that’s supposed to make him feel better, and she says she’s been there. Suck it up. Spencer is alive, which means he still has a chance to repair the relationship. He says he’s not giving up on his son. Everything he’s done has been for Spencer. She says, it seems to her, everything was done to get revenge on Valentin. He says, to reclaim the estate. He had to protect the Cassadine heir. She says, it’s pretty clear Spencer would prefer he protect his son. He asks if that isn’t the same thing, and she says, an heir is the legacy of a powerful family; a son is a child who needs his father.

At the courthouse, Martin tells Valentin, the judge is running late, but Valentin is just glad to be out of the cell. Martin is hoping the judge grants him bail. Laura appears, and says as someone who’s up for attempted murder, and has the means to disappear, she doesn’t think so. Valentin asks if she’s there to exert undue influence on the court, but she says she doesn’t need to. He’s the one who tried to kill Ava, kidnapped Charlotte, and committed fraud. He says, none of that is true; he was taking Charlotte to a hotel. She says, what about evading arrest? and Valentin says he wasn’t. He had no reason to believe he’d be arrested. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Robert comes out with a paper, and asks Martin, what’s this? Martin says, a motion to dismiss. The attempt on Ava’s life never happened.

Sonny tells Jason, it’s Mike’s last shot. Jason says Sonny has done everything he can do. Now it’s up to Mike and the treatment. Sonny says he knows Alzheimer’s doesn’t take any orders, and if Mike is too far gone, he’s too far gone. But he’s worried about Mike spending the night in the clinic. Jason says at least it gave them an opportunity to call a meeting. Sonny showing up in Brooklyn wouldn’t have looked good if he didn’t check in with the five families. I laugh because that sounds so stupid – like five cheese pizza or something. Sonny says, not that he’s crossing any borders, but him being in Brooklyn could be misinterpreted. I laugh again, since that’s stupid too. Sonny is from Brooklyn. Who wrote this? Mike comes back and says Maggie told him that his coffee is on the house. He’s still got it. Sonny says he does.

Nelle says, just because Carly is angry that Michael still has feelings for her… Carly tells her, give it up, and Nelle says, no. Carly says, having Nelle out in the world again is unsettling and painful, but what she’s not getting is, the crap she pulled last time isn’t going to work. They all know her act. That’s what’s going to drive her straight back to Pentenville.

Willow tells Sasha, technically, she has no legal rights to Wiley. She signed the adoption papers, and Wiley is Brad and Lucas’s son, but when she was considering them as parents, Lucas was always the winner in the dad department. He was the responsible one, the dependable one. Brad is nice, but he almost let fresh-out-of-prison Nelle move in with him. What does that say about his mental state? Sasha says Willow is afraid of what happens if Lucas never wakes up, and Willow say she’s terrified. How can she be okay with Brad raising her son on his own?

Josslyn asks if Michael is insane. Whatever strategy he thinks he’s working, this is Nelle they’re talking about. He says he’s aware… and she says, that Nelle is a complete psycho?  And a liar, and a killer? The last time he tried to work a strategy on her, his car ended up on the side of the road, and he almost died. Nelle is evil, and will kill him if she gets the chance, because he’ll never love her, and Nelle will never accept that. She’s sorry, but he can’t die.

Nikolas says, growing up with his mother and uncle, he was always taught to put the Cassadines first. His worth was based on being the prince. Ava asks if he liked that, and he says he hated it. He didn’t realize he was treating Spencer the same way. She says she never managed to learn not to put herself before her own child. She let her own desires come between them again and again. She thinks if she’d put Kiki first, her daughter might still be alive.

Laura tells Martin, that’s absurd. Everyone at Windymere saw Nikolas carry Ava in, soaking wet, and they both say Valentin pushed her off the parapet. Martin says, they also saw Ava drink her body weight in vodka. As for Nikolas, the court is supposed to take the word of a man who pretended to be deceased for three years, so he could get revenge on the man he’s accusing of this crime? Valentin thinks the term he’s looking for is, unreliable witness. Martin says, once the murder charge is dismissed, there’s no reason for no bail. Laura says, he’ll run, but Martin says Valentin will voluntarily give up his passport. Robert says he’s got a closetful of them. Valentin says he’s not going anywhere. Not without his daughter.

Lulu helps Charlotte on with her coat, and sees the chopped up picture of Sasha. She asks, what happened there? and Charlotte says, Nina did it. She goes to say goodbye to Nina, and tells Nina that her papa had Butterscotch moved to mainland. She asks if Nina wants to come with her to the stables; they can ride like they used to. Nina wishes she could, but she has to work, and says maybe another time. Charlotte hugs Nina, saying she loves and misses her. Nina says she feels the same, and Charlotte leaves with Lulu. Nina tells Jax that Charlotte is sad and lonely because of the choices she made. He looks at his phone, and wonders what’s taking so long.

Mike chats with Maggie about the Mets, and Jason says he’s in a better mood than when they got there. Sonny hopes there’s a good looking nurse at the clinic. His dad is golden when he turns on the charm.

Nelle tells Carly, she’s never going back to Pentenville, and Carly says, sure she is. Nelle asks, why? Because Carly says so? Carly says, no, because crazy rolls off Nelle in waves, and she can’t resist doing something evil and stupid that will come back to bite her. She’s going to do it to herself, so go ahead, plant herself at the Quartermaines. It’s just going to be entertaining. Nelle in the same house as Monica, after trying to kill her beloved grandson? They’re going to treat Nelle like the trash she is, and Carly can’t wait to watch.

Sasha tells Willow to just find the action she needs to take. They’re all there to support her.

Michael tells Josslyn, he’s a grown man who can take care of himself. Wiley is a baby, whose whole world is spiraling out of control. She says, no one knows what’s going to happen with Lucas, and Michael says, the one father Wiley can depend on is absent, and he’s left with Brad, who wasn’t steady to begin with, and now he’s unraveling. He was going to let Nelle move in with him and Wiley. Josslyn says, never, and he says now she understands why he had to move Nelle in with the Quartermaines. It’s the only way to keep her away from Wiley. She says, wrong. She has a better solution. Take Wiley away from Brad.

The guard tells Robert, Judge Vasquez will be ready in twenty minutes. Laura says she has an important meeting to go to, and Valentin says she’ll be missed. She says if he wants Charlotte to come through this whole, he should start cooperating with her. She’s the voice of sanity. He suggests she act like it, and call Lulu off. He doesn’t want his daughter to be a casualty in the never-ending war with the Cassadines. He knows they agree in wanting Charlotte to be happy, so no matter how much he and Lulu despise each other, they’re going to have to find some common ground. Charlotte is more important than that. Laura tells Robert to let her know how it goes, and leaves.

Nina asks Jax what he means by it’s taking too long, and he says, if he told her, it wouldn’t be a surprise. She says she’s had enough surprises in her life. He says, too late, and a server brings in a room service table. She says he’s come full-circle with the champagne, and he says he had the cheese flown in from Switzerland. She says, of course (🍷) he did. He says he’s not making light of her situation or feelings, but believes there’s a lot to celebrate. He opens the champagne.

Nikolas says he’s sorry for Ava’s loss. She says, and for exploiting it when he haunted her? He says, yes. It was a terrible thing to do. Being away from Spencer was torture, but he could hold on to his fantasy of their triumphant reunion, but she’s right. He still has a chance to be with his son. The thought of him being gone for good… She says, it’s a pain no parent should have to bear. He’s sorry she has to carry that, and she says she knows the perfect way he can make it up to her. Sign the post-nup.

Nelle tells Carly that she remembers that day at the police station vividly. The hatred in Carly’s eyes, and the vitriol Carly spewed at her. But what she remembers the most is how smug Carly was. Who’s laughing now? She has 5% of the ELQ shares and her own room at the Quartermaines. The best part is, she didn’t have to be rescued. She did it on her own. Carly tells her not to exaggerate. She had help; Shiloh and Ryan. Nelle says Carly doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about. Carly doesn’t know what she can do, what she’s done, or how she can blow Carly’s entire world apart. Carly says she’s not listening to Nelle’s delusional babble. She has errands to run. Nelle ponders the word errands.

Josslyn tells Michael, if Lucas doesn’t wake up, and everyone agrees Brad is a crappy father, Wiley’s real mother is right there. Have Willow revoke the adoption and take Wiley back. Wiley will be safe, and Nelle won’t have to live with the Quartermaines. Problem solved. Michael says, that’s not the way it works. Adoptions are legally binding. You can’t just change your mind. Willow chose Brad and Lucas as birth parents, and Brad is Wiley’s father. They have no choice but to help and support him. Josslyn says, that is such bull. Lucas chose Michael to be Wiley’s godfather so he could protect Wiley when Lucas couldn’t. Ask himself what Lucas would want him to do. Laura arrives, and Josslyn says she has to run, and tells Michael think about it. Laura asks if he’s ready to talk waterfront renovations.

Jason tells Sonny, the biggest regret of his life is how hard he was on Alan. He wouldn’t let Alan in, even though he tried and tried. And then he died. Sonny says, it’s not like Alan didn’t make mistakes, and Jason agrees he did, but for a lot of years, Sonny was way more mad at Mike than Jason was at Alan, and he was able to overcome it. He was able to reach out to his dad and take care of him. He wishes more than anything he would have been able to give Alan one tenth of what Sonny has given his father. He can never make that right again, and wants Sonny to know what he’s doing. Mike might not understand, but Sonny is a good son, and he’s giving Mike everything he has.

Ava tells Nikolas, she won’t hand over the original codicil until he makes their relationship official. He thought that’s what marriage did. She laughs, and says they’re not exactly a conventional couple. Their relationship will be fluid, a partnership. He says she forced him into this position, and now expects him to work with her. She doesn’t see why not. She helped him with Spencer, didn’t she? She doesn’t want to tear him down; she wants to see him on top, and wants to be right beside him. They’re both smart, some would say ruthless, and she thinks they’d make an incredible team. All he has to do is sign. She hands him a pen, and he says he’ll do it. On one condition.

Nina asks what they’re toasting, and Jax says he told her when people get their hearts broken, they can either wallow in it or choose the fun side of the island. It was easy for him to say, but it occurred to him that she might need a tutorial on the good side of life. She says, this is it? He’s the most arrogant man she’s ever met. Good thing he’s cute. He says he’s had his share of setbacks and broken dreams, but he realized there’s a choice. You can let it hold you back, or you can move forward. The only thing they’re in control of is their attitude. They toast to moving forward. He says, so she thinks he’s cute?

Lulu runs into the courthouse, and asks Robert if she missed it. He says, the judge saw fit to grant Valentin bail. He dropped the attempted murder charge for lack of evidence. She says, what about the other charges? and he says, all non-violent. Valentin comes out, and Robert tells him, congratulations. He saved his own butt again. Valentin asks Lulu how Charlotte is, and she says none of his business. He says she’s his daughter, and they still have joint custody. That means he can see her whenever he wants to. She says not after she files a restraining order against him.

Mike talks to Maggie about the old days, and taking his son for a root beer float for breakfast. It was their secret. She says his son was a lucky kid, and Mike says he was a lucky dad. Sonny asks if Mike is bothering her, but she says is he kidding? She spends her days waiting on rude, bored, pissed off people, and he’s a real charmer.

Laura tells Michael that she’s envisioning a public and private sector initiative. They’re going to make the run down area inviting, welcoming, and most of all, safe for the citizens of Port Charles. That means it has to be more than parks and gardens. She wants restaurants and shops. She wants it to be beautiful and useful. He says it’s an ambitious plan, but is she sure she wants to go all the way to Pier 55? Maybe they could just look at the first fifteen piers or so. She says she respects his wanting to leave part of the waterfront… untouched. She thought of that herself, but her concern about that is, the part that hasn’t been renovated wouldn’t be safe unless they do the whole thing. It’s a worthwhile project, and she hopes ELQ will get behind it.

Carly tells Gladys that she has to get some paperwork, and they can head over to the warehouse.

Nelle catches Willow on her way to the elevator, and asks if she’s going to Brad’s. She commends Willow, spending time with the child she gave away. She wonders if every time Willow leaves, she feels like she’s giving him up all over again. Willow gets in the elevator, and says she’s heartbroken that Michael had to lose his child, but she’s increasingly grateful that Nelle isn’t a mom. The elevator doors close, and Nelle says, bitch.

Nikolas tells Ava, an open marriage won’t work. He doesn’t want people to think she’s cheating on him. She has to appear like a doting wife. She says she’s not having sex with him. If that’s a condition, she’ll burn the codicil the first chance she gets. He says he’s not interested in sleeping with her either. He just wants her to be faithful. She asks if it’s the middle ages. He says he doesn’t trust her not to trash his reputation. A man whose wife is cheating on him is seen as weak. She says, an infidelity clause. She assumes it doesn’t just apply to her. He says, so they’re agreed. If she cheats on him, she gets nothing. She says, and if he cheats on her, she gets 90% of his assets; 10% for the little guy. She says, deal? and they shake hands. She guesses they’re stuck with each other, and toasts to a long and chaste partnership.

Valentin tells Lulu, all this time, she’s accused him of being evil incarnate for killing Nikolas, but he didn’t kill Nikolas, did he? Her brother is alive and kicking. She says, no thanks to him, and he says, now she has to come up with a new excuse to take away his daughter. He’s not going to allow Charlotte to be poisoned by her particular brand of lunacy. Do her worst. Bring it, because he can handle her. Lulu stomps off, and Martin says, that looked tense. Valentin says, Lulu wants to issue a restraining order, and Martin says, they’ll crush it this afternoon. Valentin says, why not now? and Martin says he has an important probate hearing about Shiloh’s will. Nelle is anxious to submit her claim for the ELQ shares. Valentin says, she’s been a useful distraction. The Quartermaine and Corinthos families are in a spin. Martin says if Valentin hadn’t insisted, he wouldn’t have taken her case. Valentin asks if Nelle has any idea Martin isn’t working for her, but for him, and Martin says, not a clue.

Nina tells Jax about going to a party in the Hamptons and meeting a boy by a cheese plate. They danced under the stars, and it was breathtaking. He suggests they dance there, and holds out his hand. She takes it, and he spins her around. They dance, and she asks if there’s anything he can’t do. He says fly a spaceship, but he wants to learn. She’s liking this fun side of the island, and he tells her stick around; it gets better. He kisses her.

Sonny tells Mike, they have stuff to do, but they can come back. Maggie says it was great meeting him.

While Laura takes a call from Robert, Sasha shows up, and asks if Michael is still at his meeting. He says they’re taking a break. He sees she made a decision, and she says she accepts his invitation to move in. He says he thought she wasn’t sure, but she says that was before the whole Nelle thing. She wants to help. Michael shouldn’t have to deal with Nelle alone.

Gladys looks around the warehouse, while Carly checks some paperwork. Tony comes out, and Carly tells him that Sonny signed some things and asked her to drop them off. Gladys has wandered into another area, and Tony asks her to step away from there.

Mike tells Sonny, it’s a nice place. Sonny thinks so too. Jason sees a guy at the bar with a gun, and yells, everyone get down! The guy starts to shoot.

Josslyn says she lost her journal, and looks around. A guy pops out from behind a wall, and she yells for Michael to watch out. The guy starts shooting.

Another guy starts shooting at the warehouse. Tony pushes Gladys out of the way, and Carly dives behind the bags of coffee.

At the pier, Laura runs toward Josslyn, and gets hit.

No previews on the video I saw.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Kathryn says she can’t believe she’s getting arrested, and George tells her, he can’t say he’s sorry. This is for Jennifer. Kathryn says she has nothing to do with it, and George asks why Jim had his assistant try to steal evidence. She tells him to ask Jim. Arrest Jim, if he’s still alive. He asks if she wants to answer questions there or at the station. She says she was just shot at, and he’s doing this now? Hanna tells her, calm down, but she says she won’t. Hanna tells her, it’s okay, and Kathryn asks if George realizes the power she has in this town. George says, it doesn’t matter. She says she’s a wreck. Her son just tried to kill them, and he’s arresting her. The officer tells her, don’t resist, and Hanna says, just go with them. Kathryn says she’ll resist all she wants to. She’s Kathryn Cryer, and she’ll have all their jobs. Hanna follows as she’s led away.

Outside, the reporters clamor for a story. Wyatt tells Kathryn, he let her live tonight; remember that. She tells him, remember he’ll live to regret it. He asks why they’re arresting her, and George says for Jennifer’s murder. Wyatt says, finally, and Kathryn says he’ll be sorry. He needs to pay for what he did. He says she’s paying for what she did to Jennifer, and she says he’ll be paying for the rest of his life. He says he’s been paying for it since birth, bitch. Kathryn is put in a police car, and I’m surprised the reporters aren’t tripping over each other to get photos.

The car pulls away. Wyatt calls Hanna over, and asks her to pray for him. She says she will, and he suggests she pray to him. He was God tonight. She says, no, he’s not, and he says he killed that bastard and let Kathryn live. If that’s not God, he doesn’t know what is. Hanna says he needs help, and he says she should be happy he killed that bastard. Both her and Benny should be happy. She says she’s not, and he says he let Benny live. She asks what he’s talking about, and Wyatt says he heard Jim was going to have Benny kidnapped until he got the money back. Hanna asks who Jim would call to do that, but Wyatt doesn’t know. He says he’s sorry; God is tired and doesn’t have time. She says, Lord help him, but he says he’ll help himself. He asks if she wants to know how he did it, and she shakes her head. He says she should have seen Kathryn fall into the tub. The look of fear of death was magnificent. Hanna tells him, goodnight, and walks away. She goes inside and leaves Benny a message to call her. She tells George that Jim was planning on kidnapping her son because his sister has money that belongs to him. George says, Candace? Why would she have his money? Hanna doesn’t know, and says she was planning on giving it back. She asks if her son is in danger, but George doesn’t know. She leaves another message for Benny.

Candace gets a call from Hanna, who asks where her brother is. Candace says, out with Mitch. Hanna asks if they said where they’re going, but Candace says, they weren’t specific. Hanna tells her that Jim was going to have Benny kidnapped until she gave him the money. She wants Candace to find her brother, and Candace says she’ll call Benny and Mitch. She tells Hanna not to worry, and Hanna says, that man is crazy. Candace asks how Jim is, and Hanna says, he was shot. They took him to the hospital. Candace tells her that Benny is with Mitch; no fool would bother them. Mitch is a Malone, and that name sends people shaking. She’ll find Benny.

Charles looks at Candace’s phone number, and moves on to Gretchen. She asks how he is, and he says, not so good. She asks where is he? and he says, in Detroit. She says she’s on her way. He’s been on her mind. He says he’ll let the Secret Service know she’s coming.

Outside the Cryer house, David goes through the blockade with Jeffrey. He asks George, what happened? and George says, Wyatt shot Jim, and attempted to shoot Kathryn. David asks how Jim is, but George doesn’t know. He asks where Kathryn is, and George says she was just taken to jail for Jennifer’s murder. David asks who can tell him about Jim, and George says there’s an investigator inside, Donnelly. Jeffrey asks Wyatt what he did, and Wyatt says, he did it. He told Jeffrey he was going to, but Jeffrey didn’t believe him. Jeffrey tells Wyatt not to say anything, and Wyatt says, it’s the truth. Jeffrey says they’re going to take him to jail, and Wyatt says, good. He’s sick of this life. Jeffrey says, at some point, Wyatt is going to realize what he’s doing. Wyatt yells, he shot Jim Cryer.

David asks Donnelly how Jim is, but Donnelly isn’t sure. David asks if Jim is in the hospital or morgue, and Donnelly says, he went to the hospital. David wonders where Wyatt got a gun, and Donnelly says it was an old model shotgun. Jim’s only saving grace were that the bullets were for quail hunting. It’s still a shotgun blast though. Hanna comes out, and David asks if she knows what happened. She says all she knows is that Wyatt shot Jim, and shot at Kathryn, but didn’t shoot her. When she got there, they were taking Jim out on a stretcher. David asks if he was breathing, and she says they took him to the hospital. David says he’s got to get over there, but Hanna tells him, wait. He and Jim are thick as thieves. Did David know Jim was planning on having Benny kidnapped? Who would he call to do that? David says he doesn’t know what Hanna is talking about, but she says she knows he knows who to call. (Veronica actually might be at the top of that list.) She tells him, leave her son alone, and he insists he doesn’t know what she means. Jim might not be alive, do they need to have this conversation now? She says, damn right. Benny is her son. She knows how David is about his son, and Benny is hers.

Outside, David tells Wyatt, don’t admit anything, and Jeffrey says he told Wyatt to stay quiet, but he doesn’t care. David says he’s going to the hospital to check on Jim. Jeffrey says, what about Wyatt? but David says there’s nothing he can do. Wyatt says there’s nothing he can do for Jim either.

Veronica calls Derrick, who looks like he’s less than thrilled to hear from her. He asks if she knows what time it is, and she says she needs to talk to him – not on the phone. He says he’s not coming to her house, but she says, yes, he is. She’ll be waiting. He tells her, suit herself, and she says she’ll see him in thirty minutes. She hangs up, and he says, bitch.

Gretchen tells Charles that she really missed him. He says, it hasn’t been that long, but she says, eleven months. How is he really? He says he’s okay, and she says she saw the news about that girl. How did  that happen? He says, long story, and she says she has all night. She wondered how he got involved with someone like that, and he says he didn’t call to talk about that. He should probably just go to sleep, and she says, let her stay. She can take his mind off her; like old times. He asks if she isn’t dating a guy, and she says they broke up. Charles asks, when? and she says when he called. He hopes she didn’t come because she thought they were getting back together, and she says she came to tell him how much she missed him and wanted him. She knows she can take his mind off whatever it is. She opens her coat, and she’s wearing lingerie underneath it. She walks upstairs, and he follows.

On the phone in his hotel room, Landon asks Adeline if she’ll do this for him. She really is a good girl. He says, come on. He took care of her daughter, and had the story killed. He’s not threatening her, he’s just asking for a favor. Can she fix this? Please? He says he loves her. Drinks on him – forever. He makes a kissy noise into the phone. There’s a knock at the door, and Landon pulls himself together. He opens the door to find Scott. He was surprised Landon called in the middle of the night; the President Elect’s most trusted advisor. Landon thanks Scott for seeing him. He asks how Scott’s wife is, and Scott says, good. He asks how the baby is, and Scott says, beautiful, but Landon didn’t call to talk about that. Landon says, no, and tells Scott, have a seat. Would he like a drink? Scott says, no, and asks, what’s going on? Landon says Scott needs to come clean with him. Scott says, about…? and Landon says, the Attorney General. It’s completely off the record. Scott tells Landon, he has nothing to say about the AG, and Landon says, what about Candace? Scott says he knows nothing, but Landon says Scott knows what happened in Savannah. Scott went there secretly, and knows something is going on. He asks again how Scott’s wife is, and Scott says he already asked. Landon says, is his marriage good? and Scott says, so Landon is playing this card. Landon says, no cards; just honest conversation. Scott says Landon wants leverage, but Landon says he has it already, and Scott says, what does he want to know? Landon asks why the AG is so hot after Candace, and Scott says, she robbed him. She had no idea who he was. Landon says, how much? and Scott says, not even $2000. Landon says, he saw a way to get back at her, and bury Charles. Scott says Landon didn’t hear it from him. Landon thanks him, and says he’s been very helpful. Scott says, that’s it? He’ll take that drink, but Landon says, no. He’s running with this. They’ll talk later. Scott repeats, Landon didn’t hear it from him. Scott says he’ll be calling Landon for a favor very soon, and Landon says he’ll count on it.

Oliver walks into Landon’s room, and Landon says, he just walks in now? Oliver asks if Landon has a new boyfriend, and Landon asks what he wants. Oliver says Charles just called, and wants to see him. (BTW, when anyone talks about Charles, they never use his name, they just say he or him.) Landon says he was counting on that. Oliver says Landon might not want to tell Charles his idea about the girl, but Landon says, watch a master at work. He knows Charles like the back of his hand. Oliver says, so does he, but Landon says he knows him. He calls Oliver a little weasel, and tells him, go to bed. And cut his hair. He looks like a rooster. Oliver says he just got a trim, and Landon says, ridiculous… little bitch.

Benny and Mitch make it rain at the club. Benny wonders where his phone is, and Mitch says he left it in the car. Benny’s worried about his mom, but Mitch would rather look at the girls. Benny says Mitch has his phone, and Mitch shuts it off. He and Benny clink glasses. Mitch says Benny forgot his phone, but he better not have forgotten his wallet. Drinks are on him. They toss some more bills in the air.

A stripper talks to a couple of guys leaning against the wall, and then approaches Benny. She asks if he wants a dance. He says she’s pretty, but he’s good. She says, this one’s free, and Mitch says she’s speaking Benny’s language. She leads Benny to the back, and the two guys watch . Mitch notices them, and watches them watching.

There’s a knock on Broderick’s apartment door. It’s Rocky, who says he brought Broderick’s tally, and hands him an envelope. Broderick says Rocky is still running girls? Rocky tells him, don’t get excited. Business is pretty slow, but he figured Broderick must be out of money by now. Broderick says, quite the opposite. Rocky says Broderick is really going to stay there. What’s he going to do? Broderick says, live it up. He found the deed for the place, and it’s paid for. Rocky doesn’t want to burst Broderick’s bubble (say that three times real fast), but he thinks it could backfire. Broderick says, he’s got this, and asks how things are at the hotel. Rocky says, not bad, but what choice does he have? Broderick asks if the FBI guy has been around, but Rocky hasn’t seen him. There’s been no sign of anyone, so Broderick can come back to work. The two of them running the show would be awesome. Broderick looks in the envelope, and asks if Rocky has heard from RK? Rocky says he told Broderick, RK is long gone. He’s smart. He says he already told Broderick once, be careful. Broderick says, and he already told Rocky once, he’s got this. Rocky says he’s crazy, and leaves.

Charles and Gretchen bask in the afterglow. She says she missed him, and he says he missed her too. She asks why he was with Candace. What was that about? Gretchen suggests Charles call her, and he asks why she’s bringing it up. She says he called her by Candace’s name – twice. Then he tried to cover it. Don’t lie. She knows him. He says he’s sorry, and she says, don’t be. He can’t help where his heart is. The sex was also angry. He was digging into the mattress so hard, he broke two nails. He says, it’s been a long time, and she tells him, just admit it. Why did he call when he wanted to be with her? Doesn’t he want to find out what this is? He asks if she saw the news; she’s a mess. Gretchen says, so is he. He says he managed his mess, but she says Candace doesn’t have the means or resources to manage hers. He says, it’s out now, but she says, he can fix it. Have his guys do what they do. He says Candace won’t see him or talk to him. He was really mean to her. Gretchen says he knows how to turn on the snake charm; she’s there. He says, it doesn’t take much, and she says she’ll remember that. She gets out of bed, and he asks her to stay the night. She says, no; she has to get back to her guy. Charles thought they broke up, and she says, they did. He’s in her bed. She left him to come to Charles. Charles says, cold blooded, and she says, just as he is. He says, daddy spoiled her, and she tells him, don’t blame her because she’s an heiress. He thanks her, and she tells him not to thank her like a whore. Save that for Candace. She puts her coat back on, and tells him, goodbye.

Benny is mesmerized by the booty in his face. The girl asks what he’s drinking, and he says, tequila, straight up. She takes a sip, and straddles him, putting her arms around his neck. Behind his back, she slips something into his drink. He asks why she’s doing this, and she says she’s paying her way through school. He asks why it’s free, and she asks if he’s seen the other dudes out there. She’s doing this for her, not him. He takes his drink back, and she tells him to touch her. He drinks more, and touches more. She throws him back on the bed, and gets on top of him.

Celine sees Jim being wheeled into the hospital, and asks Madison if it’s Jim Cryer. Madison says he can’t tell her, but she looks at the chart in his hand. She says she knows Jim. Madison asks, how? and she says he’s the father of her two sons. He says, sorry, and she asks, what happened?  Madison says, he got shot. She asks if he’ll make it, but Madison doesn’t know. She asks, who shot him? but Madison just shakes his head.

Hanna calls Candace, who’s looking around the club, and asks if she found Benny. Candace says, no. Hanna asks where she is, and Candace says ,where they usually go. She called Mitch, but he’s not answering either. Hanna hopes Benny is all right, and Candace says she’s sure he’s fine. Hanna tells Candace to call her back, and Candace asks where she is. She says she’s still at the Cryer’s. Candace asks if everything is okay, and Hanna says, no. Candace asks how Jim is, and Hanna tells her, go find her brother. Candace says she’s going to try one more place.

There’s a knock at Landon’s door. It’s Oliver again, and Landon asks why he’s back. Oliver says, sorry, and Landon says he thought it was someone else. Oliver says he needs to tell Landon about the drama in Savannah. Landon says, Candace, and Oliver says, it’s the Cryers and Harringtons. There was a shooting; a drive-by or something. What has Landon gotten the President Elect involved in? He’s just saying. Landon tells him to say it on the other side of the wall and down the hall. Oliver leaves, and I realize how much Landon looks like Andy Cohen. He calls Jeffrey, who’s sitting in his car. He says he heard about the drama, and Jeffrey says he’s fine. He and his dad just got out of the hospital. Landon says Jeffrey doesn’t sound good, and Jeffrey says he has a lot going on. Landon says he’s in Detroit with the President Elect, who’s getting ready to move. Landon wishes he was there, and Jeffrey asks if he’s still on that. Landon says, always, and Jeffrey says he’s flattered, but he’s not into Landon. Landon says he knows, and he gets it. Jeffrey says, sorry. He’s got to go. Landon says he just wanted Jeffrey to know he’s thinking about him. Jeffrey thanks him, and Landon drains his glass.

Veronica’s doorbell rings. It’s Derrick, who asks what she needed to talk to him about. She says Derrick’s boy Real gave her up. He said she was the one who had him plant the bomb. Derrick says, why call him? and she says she blames him. Does he want to go back to jail? He says he doesn’t give a damn. He didn’t do anything. She asks if he knows how many people are in jail who didn’t do anything. He asks what she wants, and she says she wants Real’s information. Everyone he loves; his girlfriend, his mama, everything. He says he’s out of that life; do it herself. She asks if he’s forgotten how it goes, and who she is. He’ll do this. He says he knows she’s the whore who sleeps with her clients; the whore who thinks she’s above the law; the whore who hates the gutter so much, she can’t wait to lay in it. She asks if that’s an invitation. Get her the information she needs, or she’ll go after everyone he loves.

Mitch looks around, and one of the strippers asks what he’s looking at. He says he’s checking on his boy. She asks if he wants to go in the back, and he asks if it’s free. She says, no, and he asks why Benny’s dance was free. She says they don’t do anything for free there. She realizes she’s said too much, and Mitch runs into the back. He looks through the rooms, but doesn’t find Benny.

Next time, Jim needs a jumpstart, Veronica visits Kathryn in jail, Candace beats the crap out of the stripper, and Kathryn tells Wyatt he’s going to pay for what he did to his father.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi and Beau make dinner for Stassi’s mom Dayna, and brother Nikolai, who has really grown. Beau refuses to share his secret recipe. Stassi is glad her family is there, since a year ago, it wouldn’t have happened. In her interview, Stassi says, last year, she and her mom had a falling out. Her mom said mean things. We flash back to that, and Stassi says her mother was over-emotional and irrational, and it was too much for her. Nikolai says they could have talked in private. In Stassi’s interview, she says her brother has always been incredibly mature, and we flash back to several examples. She asks if Nikolai has read her book. He says, some of it, and she asks if he read the part where she lost her virginity. Beau suggests skipping that chapter. Dayna asks what their plans are, and Stassi says Beau is going out for boys night, and she’s doing a walkthrough at TomTom for her book signing. In Stassi’s interview, she says, ending the book tour with friends is so special. She doesn’t know if she could have written the book without them. They’ve given her a sh*t ton of material.

At SUR, server Dayna asks Charli what she’s had from the menu. Charli says she’s never had pasta in her life. She has a  theory that pasta is what makes everyone gain weight. Dayna says, yeah, it’s a thing; carbs. Danica joins them, and says she’s heard nice things about Charli from Scheana. In Dayna’s interview, she says, of course Scheana likes Charli. She’s a mini-me. Take selfies, wear dino-stompers, just don’t make me eat pasta. Danica tells them that her ex-boyfriend, Brett was disrespectful, so she pushed him. We see a clip of her telling Lisa that Brett suggested a threesome, so she shoved him. Lisa is sympathetic, but says Danica put her hands on Brett, so they have to suspend her. Danica says she’s picking up shifts, since she’s broke. She’ll be serving tonight. Scheana says she has to pick up her new SUR dress, talk to Max – Dayna rolls her eyes – and then she’s going out. Danica goes to see if her dress is in, and the others laugh about her not wearing a bra. Because we’re fourteen. I don’t even know if a fourteen-year-old would care about that.

Lisa comes into SUR, orders her usual rosé, and tells Brett no soliciting a ménage a trois in her restaurant.  Scheana tells Lisa that she needs to have her SUR dress hemmed, and needs to have a little chat with Max. He made a comment to Brett – the new Brett, not this Brett – that she’s boy crazy. Lisa says, no, but I’m not sure if she’s being sarcastic. In Scheana’s interview, she says Max pursued her, and sent her pages of texts. Now he acts like it’s too much too quick. He did this, not her. Lisa asks if Scheana is concerned about Brett hearing it, and Scheana admits there’s a crush, but she doesn’t want to date him. It upsets her, because she thinks Max should have more respect for her. Lisa tells her, relax. Let it come to her. Scheana says she’s in a weird place in her life right now.

It’s guys congregate at Shelby’s, in an outdoor area. Jax asks about new employee Brett, and how training with Scheana is going. He thought they were dating the way Scheana was hanging on to him. Brett says she wants to see Aladdin with him. Max says, speaking of the devil, and looks at his phone. He says he’d texted something about them going to Shelby’s, and Jax says, why? Max says when they went out, she talked about how she’s freezing eggs, and was off birth control. It got to be too much. In Jax’s interview, he says he hasn’t dated in a while, but if he was on a date, and a girl talked about her effing eggs, he’s pretty sure he’d run. Max says, she’s like a stage-five… and Brett says, clinger. They have a discussion on spooning, and preferring to be the little spoon. In Jax’s interview, he says he likes being the big spoon because he’s a man. He doesn’t know how those emo dudes get any action. Tom says he hopes Stassi and Schwartz figure it out for the book signing, and Jax says he thinks they’re doing a walk-through today. In Tom’s interview, he says what bothers him most is the lack of consideration for him on Stassi’s part. She didn’t ask him; she asked Schwartz.

Stassi and Schwartz check out the outdoor seating area. In Schwartz’s interview, he says the book signing is two days from now. Max has bartenders lined up, and Tom is excited to host. He definitely wants everyone to know he’s the owner. Stassi suggests they do everything outside, and people can get drinks inside. She suggests a table for signing, and Schwartz says they’re collaborating. He tells her, no charge because she’s family.

The guys clink glasses, and Jax says, to many more… Brett says, talks about Scheana. They laugh, and Jax says he wishes they could come to Miami, but his 40th is next. Scheana walks out, and I die laughing at their faces. It’s like someone threw cold water on them. She sits next to Max, and asks if she can borrow him. Why don’t they go do tequila shots? Tom says, okay; let’s do shots, and they all go into the bar. Beau says he feels like he’s in high school right now. I dunno. I thought when you say you’re going to borrow someone, you and the someone are the ones who step away.

Scheana asks Max how it’s going as far as Brett hanging out with the guys. Max says, it’s awesome. Scheana jumps right in, and says, she likes attention, but wouldn’t say she’s boy crazy. And what he’s saying about them hanging out. She really liked him; it was more than a fling, and he owed her respect. She knows he hasn’t been an angel. Last week she found out about several of the girls he slept with. Which is fine; he’s single. You do you.

Inside at the bar, Beau says, poor Max. Brett wonders what they’re talking about

Scheana whips out her phone, and says she’ll read Max a few things he sent to her. Since I can’t possibly type as fast as she can talk, the highlights I get are, he’s obsessed, she’s beautiful, she’s a smoke show, he feels lucky, she’s a good cuddler, he hit the jackpot, and he wants to kiss her more. She says he’s not the person she hung out with at Thanksgiving. She’s not crazy; they had a thing. She doesn’t buy an Apple watch for someone who’s a one-time thing. In Scheana’s interview, she says they went to football games and dinners, and he acts like she doesn’t know him. Dayna might have seen his d*ck, but she’s seen his heart. He can’t say what a  girl wants to hear just to get laid. She tells him that he’s become a f***boy, and he agrees. He says he may not have been good to other women, but he never led them on, and he’s sorry he did that with her. Scheana tells him, as a friend, a word of advice – don’t sleep with staff. He says he knows he hooked up with Dayna, but she was in the midst of going from TomTom to SUR, but they’re not dating.

At Villa Rosa, the day of the book event, Lisa reads to Ken from Stassi’s book. Giggy! Lisa reads about Stassi losing her virginity, and how she’d known nothing of grooming her lady parts. In Lisa’s interview, she says she wanted to be there, but has a prior engagement. We see a clip of her getting Puffy’s suitcase, which is teeny tiny. She says, reading about Stassi’s fluffy nether-regions is a hair too much. We see another clip where Brittany calls Versailles, Ver-sails, and Lisa says, wtf is that about?  She asks if Ken can believe Jax is actually getting married. Ken says, Jax isn’t the marrying type, and Lisa tells him, they said that about him, but she took him down. He says he’s a lucky man, and she says he is. Giggy acts all roly-poly, like dogs will sometimes do. Lisa says she’s got to pick up Pandora and Jason, and she’s still thinking about Stassi’s fluffy who-ha.

Stassi tells Beau that she woke up to a text from Tom that he sent at 2 am, and reads it to Beau. Tom says he found out about the book party today, with no word from her. They have no bartenders, and he and Schwartz aren’t bartending, so he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. Don’t put this on him or them, or he’ll literally kick her TF out of TomTom, and all her wristbands. In Stassi’s interview, she says if they had to staff at the last minute, it has nothing to do with her. He’s effing out of his mind. He’s also a liar since we just saw a flashback of him discussing it with Schwartz.

She asks Beau if she responds, and he says, no. She says, what could she possibly say? Why is he so angry? Beau tells her to take a screenshot and send it to Schwartz; see what he says. She says she keeps going over it in her head. She asked Lisa, and did a walk-through with Schwartz. Beau says, there’s got to be an explanation. In his Instagram stories, he posted about being out with James. James doesn’t like Stassi, so maybe… Stassi says ever since she and Tom met, he’s acted like a psycho ex. If he causes a scene, she’s going to lose it.

Scheana enlists friend Janet’s help in altering her dress. She wants it borderline her ass hanging out. Danica and Charli join them, and Danica tells them that Brett gave her the money she would have made while she was suspended, saying it was all his fault. Then they had sex. They try the dresses on, and modify them. Danica says she never wears underwear at SUR, since she likes the feeling the breeze. Scheana tells them about calling Max a f***boy. She says, they had a thing, but she doesn’t think he prioritized it. Charli says, it was temporary, and Scheana says she bought him a watch. She’s notorious for buying boys presents. She has a penguin. We flash back to her adopting a penguin for Adam. (Later, on Watch What Happens Live, she said the penguin remains in her name.)

Lisa’s business partner Nathalie gives Dayna and Brett employee handbooks, explaining that the books answer questions about who to go to if there are issues. Dayna points out that the books are pink, and asks if that’s Lisa, and Nathalie says, they have to be pink. She leaves, and Dayna asks how Brett’s training is going. He says, Scheana has been super nice, and asks why Dayna is making a face. She says that hasn’t been her experience, and Brett says he doesn’t know how Scheana treats other girls, but she’s the only one he can talk to casually. They’ve hung out, but he told her that he values her as a friend, and doesn’t want to give the wrong impression. Dayna says, he friendzoned Scheana? Did he say, it’s not you, it’s me. Tell her that he did.  He says he didn’t, but had to say something. She crashed boys night at Shelby’s, and asked if she could borrow Max. Dayne wonders why. In her interview, she says she’s new to LA, and Scheana is putting her Scheana spin out there, trying to make people not like Dayna. It’s nice to have someone as a friend. She tells Brett, Scheana seems unstable.

Schwartz thanks his three bartenders for pinch hitting at the last second. JoJo says he’s never been a bartender before, but thinks he can do it. In Schwartz’s interview, he says the bartenders Max had lined up, fell out, and Tom rage texted Stassi like it was her fault. It was a bit of a scramble, but he handled it. These things happen in their industry. Stassi arrives, and there’s already a long line. In her interview, Stassi says she has the best fans. She realizes she said fans, and calls herself a douche. She thanks Schwartz and the bartenders for being there, and tells Schwartz that she’s shook. She has no idea where Tom is coming from. Schwartz says he got bit by a spider, and he’s in the ER – he’s not kidding. In Stassi’s interview, she says, who gets bit by a spider? Was he hanging out in a comic book? We see a comic where Tom gets bit by a spider while out with James, getting turnt. He ends up with the superpower of narcissism, and a mediocre power to rage text. He becomes Sandyman, the world’s most annoying superhero ever.

They set up the book table. Jax says he’s nervous about the bachelor party. In Brittany’s interview, she says it’s two days until Miami, and she wants Jax to have the best time. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s the greatest thing that Brittany doesn’t have him on a leash. Brittany continues, saying, after they’re married, he’s never going to a strip club again. Jax says he doesn’t think it will be the last time.

Schwartz asks if everybody is good. Stassi comes in, and the crowd cheers and chants her name. She thanks them, and tells them TomTom is the best, and they should eat there. She says when she started writing, she was told to write about what she knew, and she knew about being a basic bitch. She reads from her Witches of WeHo chapter, ending with, friends work through sh*t. Which is why she can be best friends with someone who slept with her ex-boyfriend. She says, sorry, to Brittany, who says she’s used to it. Stassi thanks everyone for coming, and tells them, get wasted. Nikolai says he’s proud, and hugs Stassi, and her mom also hugs her. In his interview, Schwartz says, it was a rocky morning, but it turned out great. The drinks are flowing, and everything is going swimmingly. Stassi is happy, and he’s happy. Uh-oh. Here comes trouble – Tom and Ariana.

In Tom’s interview, he says of course he sent Stassi a text message. He was trying to figure out how to make TomTom not look like sh*t. Schwartz asks, what happened? and Tom says at 2 am, he was wondering how he was going to staff the event. Schwartz tells Tom that he said he’d take care of it. Tom says JoJo has never bartended, and David is going to work a 12-hour shift. In his interview, Tom says the bar is never open this early. They can’t have bartenders working 12-hour shifts. Schwartz and Stassi don’t understand, but it could have been avoided if Stassi had come to him. Katie says Tom saying he’d kick her TF out was too aggressive, and Schwartz says, it was childish. Ariana says, what’s childish is to not have proper staff lined up the night before the event. Schwartz says, it’s an echo chamber of negativity.

Katie says, Tom is ruining something great because he can’t stand that someone else is getting the attention. In Tom’s interview, he says they’ve all known him enough years to know his biggest fear in life is coming across jealous. He says only Katie would say something like that. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s not Katie Maloney’s Bar & Grill. Katie tells him not to talk to her like that. Schwartz says, let him talk. Tom created something in his head with limited information. The way to deal with it isn’t rage texting while sh*tfaced. By now, Stassi has come over there, and asks, what’s not okay about a bunch of customers buying drinks? Was she supposed to kiss his ring? She talked Lisa, who owns 90% of the restaurant, and did a walkthrough while he was out at boys night. How dare he? He’s a selfish, egotistical POS. How dare he text her those things? He’s mad because this isn’t about him. It’s not good enough that his name is in lights on the front of the restaurant. She did nothing wrong. Tom says she never does, but she’s already walking away. Tom says that was extremely out of line. Katie and Beau follow Stassi. In the bathroom, she says, it’s bullsh*t. She wanted this to be an intimate thing for the end of the tour. At the bar, Tom tells Schwartz, he thought it was supposed to be 15 people, but Schwartz says, they said 50 or 60 when they discussed it. We see a clip to back that up. Tom tells Schwartz, he can make drinks, but doesn’t know how to staff. Schwartz tells Tom not to belittle him. He handled it, and Tom overreacted. Tom says he’ll come back when it’s over. In his interview, Tom says Stassi has no respect for him as the owner. They’re doing this as a favor, for free. As far as Schwartz goes, they have a lot to talk about. I guess, as owner, he feels that allows him to take irrational anger out on someone who has nothing to do with the situation. Stassi tells Schwartz, she’s sorry she yelled, but Schwartz says she had to get it out. She says Tom has lost his mind, and Schwartz says he’s pissed too. Stassi says she’ll write about it in her next book.

Dayna asks to talk to Scheana, saying she wants a moment to touch base, since this is her last training session. She gets that Scheana and Max are friends, but wants to make sure there’s nothing there. Scheana says they flirt, but that’s just their personalities. She points out that Dayna and Max aren’t dating, and Dayna says, it’s new, and in that awkward stage. Scheana asks if Dayna is going to be pulling over every girl Max talks to, or is it just her. Dayna says it seemed like Scheana was questioning Max’s intentions. In Scheana’s interview, she says it doesn’t feel great watching Max bang all the girls. They used to worry about getting Jaxxed. Now they have to worry about getting Maxxed. Dayna says the only reason she was asking about it is, she wanted to know if it was still going on, which she wants no part of. In her interview, Dayna says she’s excited about Max, but thinks Scheana butting in might have screwed it up. Scheana wants her to feel like just another notch in Max’s belt, which Scheana clearly was. Scheana thinks Dayna is making more of it than there is. She and Max were really a thing, and woman to woman, she thinks Dayna should be careful and guard her heart.

Schwartz and Katie sort of pack for Miami. Schwartz says there are a ton of things that have to be done at the last second. He and Tom have to hash this sh*t out. It’s like a rainy cloud over a huge success. Katie says, everyone was happy, until Tom showed up and started screaming. She tells Schwartz, do what he has to so they can deal with Miami. No one is happy with Tom. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he should be thinking about where to drink Miami Vice style, and what boobies to shove in Jax’s face, but now he’s focused on this sh*t. Katie says, Tom is entirely wrong, and Schwartz says, 100%.

On the phone, Ken says Tom was doing her a favor, and she was screaming at him. He’d have her removed. He says he’ll talk to Lisa. He tells Lisa, Tom is spitting blood. Stassi was screaming at him, and shouting in front of customers. Lisa says, at her own event? That’s not okay. Giggy! In Lisa’s interview, she says she didn’t envisage this problem at a book signing. It’s not New Year’s Eve or Halloween or Pride; it’s a book signing. Ken tells her to speak to the manager. She needs to know the real story. Lisa says, welcome home.

Schwartz brings his own chair to Tom’s house. In Tom’s interview, he says they could have kept the furniture that came with the house, like Schwartz and Katie did, but he wanted to pick out his own furniture. It’s a BYOC situation. Schwartz asks how the bite is, and it looks pretty nasty. Schwartz suggests the venom made Tom go off the rails. Where was his head at. Tom says he found out at noon they didn’t have actual bartenders, and it isn’t okay. Schwartz tells him to chill. It was a low key event, low maintenance. They could have done it in their sleep. In his interview, Schwartz says, in the worst case scenario, he would have hopped behind the bar. Deep in Tom’s subconscious, serving Stassi is so painful, he’d rather kick her out. He says the bigger issue is Tom going apeshit at a friend and client. Tom says she didn’t pay. She also humiliated and made a fool out of him in front of the restaurant. In his interview, Tom says when Stassi screamed at him, it was throwback princess brat Stassi. We see side by side flashbacks. Schwartz says, she was fighting fire with fire, but Tom says, she was fighting fire with an atomic bomb. She said he was jealous, and everyone heard. It made him look bad. Schwartz says, it will never happen again, and Tom says, she’s literally banned. Stassi is to be thrown out immediately if she comes in the restaurant.

Next time, Miami baby, Carter texts Kristen, Dayna tells Lisa some people don’t want her at SUR, Lisa calls Tom to find out what went down at TomTom, and Beau confronts Tom.

🌟 This Is About My Speed…

Not the good morning part, but the nonsense lyrics.

January 20, 2020 – Nina Has a Deal For Sasha, Door Slamming On Deck, Spencer’s Return, Tyler’s Oval & Song For the Day


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Ava tells Spencer, it’s wonderful to see him looking so well. She thanks him for meeting her, and he says the headmaster summoned him; he didn’t have a choice. She says she asked that he not mention her name, since she was afraid Spencer would refuse the visit. She knows the last three years have been difficult. He says she’s the woman who sold him out to his evil uncle, and she says she’s deeply sorry. She hopes he forgives her when he sees all is not lost. Spencer says he’s he lost more than enough; his inheritance, his home, and his father. Nikolas puts his hand on Spencer’s shoulder, and says, he hasn’t lost his father. He’s here.

Laura meets Jax at the MetroCourt, and he says he appreciates her taking the time to meet with him. She says she makes time for all her constituents, even the ones who withhold vital information.

Michael asks what Willow means by Wiley not being safe with Brad. She says she found Nelle there in her bathrobe, looking quite at home. When she got there, Brad seemed nervous, like he didn’t want her there, and two seconds later, Nelle appeared. She said she was staying there, and made it clear that she could give Brad all the help he needs. Michael says, Nelle is wrong about that.

Brad tells Nelle that she can’t take care of Wiley. Lucas’s entire family will be up in arms. Nelle says, contrary to popular belief, Lucas’s family doesn’t run the entire world. Brad says, Wiley’s life has been full of disruptions. He misses Lucas, and doesn’t know her. He knows Willow. Nelle says they just need mommy and me time. As soon as Wiley is back in her arms, he’ll know he’s hers.

Spencer says Nikolas is really there, and they hug.

At the Crimson office, Nina tells Charlotte, it’s the best collage ever. Charlotte thinks they need more pictures. Curtis walks in, and says, no school? Charlotte tells him there was field trip, and she didn’t want to go, so her mom said she could hang out with Nina. They’re working on a collage for Charlotte’s English project. She tells Charlotte that Maxie left some back issues for her, and tells her to go check them out. Curtis says Charlotte seems okay, but Nina says looks can be deceiving. Charlotte has been asking to talk to her father. Curtis asks if Nina has too.

Taggert tells Jordan that he knew she was meant for bigger, greater things, and she says it means a lot hearing him say that. He notices her there’s a ring on her finger, and she tells him that she’s married. He congratulates her, and she says, what about him? How’s his wife? He says, that went south a long time ago, and she says they have a lot to talk about it. He suggests they start with her. Why did she ask him to drop everything and come back to Port Charles?

At the MetroCourt, Gladys tells Carly, it’s too much. A spa day and a personal shopper afterward; how can she repay Carly’s generosity? Carly tells Gladys to focus on herself, and enjoy the splurge. Carly sees Michael, and tells Gladys to pick what she wants off the spa menu for brunch. She goes over to Michael, and asks, what’s going on? Michael says, Nelle is staying with Brad, and she’s expecting to take care of Wiley. Carly says, over her dead body. There’s no way that psycho is getting near Wiley. Michael says, she already is. Willow says, of course (🍷) she’s manipulating Brad, and of course (🍷) he’s letting her. 

Jax says that’s why he wanted to see Laura; to explain and apologize. He repeatedly asked Nikolas to reveal himself to her, but he said if Valentin found out he was alive, it would put her and Spencer in danger. He shouldn’t have been an accomplice for as long as he was, and he’s deeply sorry. Laura accepts his apology. After all, it wasn’t him who broke her heart. It was her son.

Nikolas says he missed Spencer more than anyone. Spencer says he’d pretend Nikolas was away on business, and imagine what they’d do when he returned. Where has he been?

Curtis sees the mock Crimson cover with Sasha on it, and asks Nina what that’s about. She says Lucy is resurrecting her cosmetics company, and Sasha is on board as a partner/spokesmodel. In a bold move, they asked Crimson to partner with them. They did have a clever business plan. He asks if she’s thinking of doing it, and she says she hasn’t made a decision. He asks, why wait? and she says, it’s not personal. She wants to make the right decision. Curtis says, one of the riskiest things when you’re under cover is developing feelings for the mark; you start to questions your loyalty and allegiances. Is she making a shrewd business decision, or is it a way to keep Sasha in her life? They were close, and he doesn’t believe it was an act on either of their parts. Nina misses her. Nina says she misses the idea of having a daughter. He asks if anything that came from her mother was ever true, and she says Valentin couldn’t prove if she did or didn’t have a daughter, and if he couldn’t do it, nobody could. She takes out the half-heart necklace, and says she’s never going to find out if she really had a baby. Um… wouldn’t her GYN know?

Brad brings out Wiley, and tells Nelle that he decided he’s too distracted to work. he suggests she not let them keep her, and go on with her day; enjoy. Nelle asks to hold him, but he says, Wiley has to get dressed. He gets cranky if schedule is interrupted. Nelle says she wants to hold her son, and Brad hands him over. She says, Wiley is right where he belongs.

Laura tells Jax that she’s glad he reached out. She has a good way for him to redeem himself, to her and the city. He says he wasn’t aware he’d wronged the city. She says she wants to renovate the waterfront, particularly the piers above Pier 26. She’s looking for partners in the business sector to get on board and do their civic duty. He says he read about it in The Invader, but she says the article was premature and not placed by her staff. She already reached out to ELQ, and now him. She didn’t think he’d want be left out. it’s going to decriminalize the waterfront for good. Jax says, it’s going to take quite a bit of financing, and she says she’s open to donations. He says, a charming shakedown. Gladys approaches the table, and says, hello. Jax introduces her to Laura, and Laura says Gladys must be related to Mike. Gladys is impressed about Laura being mayor, and says if she lived there, Laura would have her vote.

Willow says, Brad is completely unable to stand up to Nelle. Carly sees Gladys talking with Laura and Jax, and says, you’ve got to be kidding. She says they’re right to be concerned, and tells Michael, if there’s anything she can do, just ask. Right now, she has to handle something else. She goes over to Jax’s table and asks if everything is all right. Laura says, it’s fine, and Gladys says Jax was just introducing her to the mayor. Carly is sure Jax and Laura have business to take care of, and steers Gladys away. Laura says, interesting lady. She’s sure there’s a story there, and Jax says, for another day.

Willow asks where Michael is going, and he says, to get Nelle away from Wiley. Chase says he’s coming too. Half of this is his fault, and there’s no way he’s letting Wiley pay for it. Willow asks Chase to let her know what happens, and Sasha says, her too, and tells them to be careful.

Sasha asks Willow what Nelle is like. It’s hard to believe the creepy stories. Willow says, Nelle comes off all sweetness and light, a harmless waif, but just like that, she’s threatening. Then she says she didn’t mean it; she’s twisted. She even brought up Shiloh when they saw each other. Sasha says Nelle was probably trying to play with Willow’s mind. Sasha’s phone dings, and she says, it’s Nina. Willow asks if  they’re texting now, and Sasha says she and Lucy pitched a partnership with Deception and Crimson. Nina seemed less than thrilled. Willow says maybe Nina wants to tell Sasha that she’s on board, and Sasha says maybe Nina wants to tell her where to stick her proposal. Willow says she’ll go along with Sasha. She needs a distraction.

Nikolas tells Spencer that it was the best thing he could come up with. He had to regain his strength and think of a plan. Nikolas says, for three years he forgot who Spencer was. Nikolas says he was being protective, and Spencer says he stayed away deliberately. Nikolas says, Spencer has to understand he needed to be strategic, and get things in place for his return. Spencer says what mattered was that he needed his father. What could have mattered more than that? Nikolas says his grandfather’s will was illegitimate, and left everything to Valentin. Spencer says he knows. He tried to fight Valentin, but Aunt Alexis said there was nothing they could do. Nikolas says he found a way to take everything back. There’s a codicil that makes him heir again. Spencer says Nikolas stayed away because he wanted his money back. It was more important that Valentin think he was dead than for Spencer to know he was alive.

Jordan tells Taggert that she wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important. She didn’t want to open up that part of her life, and she’s sure he didn’t either. He says he hasn’t forgotten a moment, and she says she needs him to look at something. She hands him Bob’s folder, and says, no outsiders. He says, agreed, and opens the file.

Nina says, sorry; she knows Curtis is busy. He says if she wants to find out if she had a child or where they might be, he’s there for her. She she says, no more searching. She won’t reopen that wound. She and Curtis hug, and she looks at Charlotte. She says, she already has a wonderful daughter right there.

Nelle says, Wiley is so big. She had no idea what the color of his eyes or hair would be. He looks like Michael, but underneath, he’s all hers. She tells Wiley that she’s his mom, but Brad says she’s going to confuse him. She asks Wiley to smile for her, and there’s a knock at the door. She opens it to find Michael and Chase. She tells Michael, they were just talking about him.

Michael says he thought Brad was taking Wiley to daycare, but Brad says, he called in. Nelle says she and Wiley are getting to know each other. Michael says Wiley doesn’t need to know her. He takes Wiley from Nelle, and when she steps toward him, Chase tells her not to get any closer. She asks if they’re not overreacting. They’re acting like she’d hurt a child. Chase says she’s a convicted felon; they’re not taking any chances. She says, Michael is also a convicted felon. Michael asks, what’s her angle? and she says she sees Chase’s girlfriend wasted no time in snitching. Brad is her only friend in town. Where else was she supposed to go? And after what happened to Lucas, who is she to desert a friend in need? She should become Wiley’s nanny instead of Chase’s girlfriend. Chase tells her, leave Willow out of it. She says, Willow is out, and she’s in. Michael says he has another offer he thinks Nelle will have a hard time refusing.

Carly tells Gladys, she’s confused. Gladys says she hates to sound ungrateful, but massages make her claustrophobic. She knows Dev has a part-time job at the coffee warehouse, and asks if Carly thinks she could arrange a tour. Carly says she has to stop by, and Gladys can take a look at it, but there’s not much to see. Is she sure she doesn’t want to visit the spa? Gladys is sure, and Carly tells her to make herself comfortable. She has a few things to finish, and then they can go.

Jax tells Laura, if ELQ is in, he imagines he will be too. Laura says she considers him a decent man. He won’t remain that way if he’s around the Cassadine fortune. Remember that in case Nikolas asks to work with him again. She gets in the elevator, and goes down.

Nikolas tells Spencer that it was torture staying away. Ava says Nikolas was thinking of his best interests. That’s why she’s there. Nikolas had to work in the shadows; to take back what was theirs. Spencer says he needed his father. He broke both legs, and had to stay in the hospital for weeks. Nikolas could have come back any time. Spencer never had to leave home. Nikolas says he’s sorry, and Spencer says he cared more about getting back at Valentin than he did abut loving him. Ava says Nikolas always loved him, and Spencer says he hated Nikolas for dying, now he hates him for not staying dead. Nikolas says he needs some air, and steps outside. Ava says she can see how angry Spencer is, and he has every right to be, but the person he loves most just came back to him. He’s the luckiest boy on the planet. Can’t he see that?

Nina tells Charlotte that she’s good at this. Maybe she should hire Charlotte as her new art director. Sasha and Willow come in, and Sasha says Nina asked to see her. She says hi to Charlotte, who ignores her and asks if Willow wants to see her new school project. Willow says, sure, and Nina and Sasha go into Nina’s office. Nina asks if Sasha felt the need to bring her sidekick along for moral support, and Sasha says Willow was keeping her company, and she does like the moral support. She asks if Lucy shouldn’t be in on the meeting, but Nina says it’s just about them. She looked at the proposal, and it’s good; better than she expected. Apparently Sasha picked up some things working there. She’s decided to move forward – conditionally. Sasha asks what she wants, and Nina says the Deception/Crimson partnership will be launched with an in-depth cover story on Sasha; every aspect of her life. Nothing will be left to the imagination. Those are her terms. Take it or leave it.

Charlotte talks to Willow about horse books, saying she just finished Black Beauty. She says, it was sad in the middle, but at the end Beauty got to go back to where he used to live. All the bad stuff was just a mistake. Everything was fixed in the end. Willow says she likes happy endings, and Charlotte says she does too.

Sasha tells Nina to draw up  the paperwork. She accepts Nina’s terms, and a contract will need to be signed. Nina doesn’t think Sasha understands the terms. They’re going to unearth everything; nothing will be left to the imagination. They’re going to include how Sasha lied to her, and Michael, and Valentin. Sasha says Michael has already forgiven her, and Nina has made clear she never will. She tells Nina, print what she likes. If putting her life on blast helps pay for what she did, so be it. Have a lawyer draw it up. She asks if that’s it, and Nina says she can go. Sasha comes out of the office, and Willow asks if she’s all set. They get in the elevator, and Sasha says, if setting herself up to public shaming is all set, she’s great. She just gave Nina permission to beat her up in print.

Taggert continues to look through the folder, and tells Jordan, it’s crazy. After everything they went through, there’s no way in hell. Jordan says that was her reaction too, but toxicology was specific. He says Bob barely drank, and never went near drugs; it makes no sense. She says, not to her either… unless something worse is going on. He says she’s got questions; he’ll get answers, and she tells him, be careful. Laura comes in, and asks if she’s interrupting. Jordan says they were just finishing up, and introduces Taggert. Laura says she remembers him, and it’s nice to see him again. What brings him back to Port Charles?

Michael says Nelle needs a place to stay. She says she has one, and he says he has a better one. There’s more privacy, and he knows how important that is after prison. Nelle says it’s touching. but why is he offering it to her? They were only married a short time. They did have a baby, but after the tragic circumstances, he’s under no obligation to help her. He says he’s fond of Wiley, and it will keep her away from him. She says, It makes sense. Wiley is the same age as Jonah would be. Chase asks if she cares about Brad. One call to social services from a concerned party saying there’s a convicted killer staying there, and they’ll be nosing around and scrutinizing everything. Nelle tells him to mind his own business, and Michael asks if she’ll take him up on his offer. It more than meets her standards.

Brad comes out, and Nelle is gone. He tells Michael and Chase that he’s sorry how things turned out. Nelle showed up last night. He didn’t agree to her being Wiley’s nanny. Did Willow say he did? Chase says, it’s been a rough morning. They’ll talk later after they decompress. Michael says Wiley is the number one priority. Lucas being in a coma is a tragedy, but it shouldn’t be compounded by putting Wiley at risk. Brad says he didn’t, but Michael says, Nelle is dangerous. She tried to kill him, and she killed Zak. Nelle having access to Wiley is unacceptable. He took an oath as Wiley’s godfather to look after him, and he’s going to do everything to make sure Wiley is safe.

Sasha tells Willow that Lucy thinks the scandal will help Deception launch. It’s her past, and her scandal. She actually does want to live life out in the open, and if people don’t appreciate it, oh well. Nelle approaches them, and says she didn’t think she’d run into a friendly face.

Taggert tells Laura that he’s a lieutenant now. He was passing through, and thought he’d say hi to an old friend. Laura says, they know each other? and Jordan says, it was a long time ago, and Taggert says, almost a lifetime. He says it was great seeing her, and Jordan tells him, don’t be a stranger. He leaves, and Laura asks if they worked together. Jordan says, it was years ago, and Laura says she’s been making good progress on the waterfront. Jax will be on board, providing ELQ is. Jordan says, many a mayor has tried to rehabilitate the waterfront and been unsuccessful. Laura says, they haven’t met this mayor.

Nina and Charlotte work on the collage. Jax walks in, and Nina says she’ll get him the projections. She digs around in the mess on her desk, and says, things have been hectic. Maxie took on a lot of responsibility, but she’s back. The transition is bumpy, but it’s fine. She gives him the projections, and he says he’s sure it will be back to normal in no time. She asks why she gets the feeling that he’s humoring her, and he says, because he is.

Ava says Spencer has always had insight beyond his years. He’s old enough to know parents aren’t perfect, and his father no different. Spencer says his father stayed away; that’s not love. Ava says he stayed to keep Spencer safe; to protect him from Valentin. Spencer says his father could have seen him in France, and Valentin would have never known. Ava says Spencer has a rare opportunity; a second chance with a loved one. It’s a miraculous thing, so many other people would give anything for. Don’t waste it. Spencer says if Ava thinks her heartfelt pleas are going to make him forgive Nikolas, sadly, she’s mistaken. She says she won’t excuse Nikolas, but she’s seen how much he loves his father, and how losing his father affected him. Nikolas loves him, and she thinks it’s time they both stop hurting, and put the anger aside. Let his father love him. It’s so much better than being alone . Nikolas comes back in.

Nikolas says, Ava is right. He has so much to make up for, and he’ll do what it takes. If Spencer lets him, he wants to restore the family. It’s what he’s wanted the whole time. Spencer says he could have had it if he’d come back, but he didn’t. He let Spencer believe he was dead. Spencer has lived every day for the past three years alone because of Nikolas. He built up the memory of a noble prince, but Nikolas is as heartless as Valentin Cassadine,  and his legacy is more important than his son. Stay the hell away from him. Spencer slams out the door.

Nina tells Jax that she just met with Sasha, and decided to take the opportunity to rake her over the coals. This revenge thing is tougher than she thought. Jax says, people with good hearts have a hard time.

Charlotte cuts up the mock Crimson cover with Sasha’s picture on it, and smiles.

Curtis goes to Jordan’s office, and says he thought she could use one of these. He kisses her, and she says, always. They go into the office, and Taggert lurks in the hallway.

Nelle tells Willow, no introductions are needed. She recognizes Sasha from the picture on Michael’s phone. Nelle holds out her hand, but Sasha doesn’t take it. She says she knows who Nelle is. Nelle tells her not to believe everything she hears. They’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other better. Sasha doubts that, and Nelle says the Quartermaine mansion is big, but they’ll run into each other eventually. Michael asked her to move in. Willow says she’s lying, but what else is new? Michael doesn’t want her anywhere near him. Nelle tells her to phone him, and ask him herself.

Chase asks if Michael is sure he should invite Nelle back into the Quartermaine mansion. Michael asks if he’s heard about it being a good idea to keep your enemies close at times. This is one of those times.  He’s going to let her think she’s winning, and when she drops her guard, he’ll drop the hammer. She’ll never see it coming.

Tomorrow, Nikolas tells Ava that he’ll do it on one condition, Willow wants to know how she can be okay with Brad raising her son, and Carly tells Nelle to mention Jonah one more time and see what happens.

Below Deck

Kevin moans while sitting in the crew mess. He tells the captain that he just took a painkiller, and to give it fifteen minutes. Captain Lee says to take as much time as it takes. In the captain’s interview, he says he’s the only one who knows the galley. He’s worked in restaurants, and is good on the grill, but he can’t make a pimple on the ass of Kevin’s preparation and presentation. He tells Kevin, keep him posted. Anchor is dropped and locked. The mystery dude asks Kevin how he’s doing, and what’s the contingency plan? Kevin says, there isn’t one, and goes back to the galley. In his interview, he says he feels a little better. It’s not the ideal state, but he needs to do dinner service. Rhylee says she doesn’t give a flying anymore.

Kevin goes over the dinner menu with Kate. Tonight’s entrée is venison. Alexis and her friends are jammed into the hot tub, where it looks way too crowded to be comfortable. Brian talks to Ashton about Courtney. In his interview, he says he thought it was a step in the right direction, talking about what happened, but Courtney is inconsistent about sorting it out. Ashton tells Brian, it’s a grey area; are they together or not? Brian says he doesn’t want to force anything. Alexis asks if Andrew is getting down on one knee tonight. Subtlety seems to be no one’s strong suit anymore.

In Kate’s interview, she says, Alexis wants an independence themed party to celebrate her divorce and independence. They get it. Her dry humping her boyfriend was their first clue. Alexis tells Kate that they want to eat inside. She doesn’t want to take another shower tonight. Kate says she’s excited, but in her interview, she says she hates it. There’s no room for mistakes when you’re two feet from plating. Kate and the other stews decorate in red, white, and blue, while Kate sings Grand Old Flag. Kevin continues to curse his life.

In Kate’s interview, she says Tanner is cute. He has no shame, but it’s not even creepy. It’s cute. She tells him not to talk to her, and Ashton asks if they’re fighting again. It’s so cute. Boat-mances. Simone asks who Ashton is referring to; Kate and… In her interview, she says she can’t believe this a-hole is doing this. It’s not like they have feelings for one another, but wtf? Ashton asks if she’s okay, and she says, kind of. She wouldn’t have gone there. He asks if she regrets it, and she says she does.

Captain Lee joins the guests for dinner. Tanner tells Rhylee that they should spray down the deck after dinner, but Rhylee thinks they could get ahead by doing it during dinner, since the guests are eating inside. Tanner complains that everything is a problem with Rhylee. Why does her idea always have to be the right one? Ashton agrees that they should wait until after dinner. In her interview, Rhylee says it doesn’t matter whether she’s right or wrong. Kate tells Simone that she’ll be doing cabins, and Courtney will be helping her. In Kate’s interview, she says she never breaks girl code, but Simone and Tanner are no longer hooking up, and Simone has been annoying her, so her girl code is slipping. Alexis says she’s thankful for her life, and loves everyone. Kevin suddenly wants the bisque poured at the table, but Kate says they didn’t discuss gravy boats, and they’re locked away. In her interview, she says this is why they went over this beforehand. In Kevin’s interview, he says Kate would rather float with Tanner and leave him in deep water. Tanner tells Kevin that he’s never going to win.

Simone bitches to Rhylee about Kate and Tanner. Rhylee is surprised to find out Simone didn’t know they had kissed. In Simone’s interview, she says her blood pressure is up. Rhylee says it’s a good thing they didn’t go further. Tanner is a moron. Simone wonders why she’s always the last person to find out about these things. Alexis says it’s the first time she’s had venison, and pronounces it amazing. Courtney kisses Brian, saying she doesn’t want to fight anymore. In her interview, she says she doesn’t like fighting, but she feels like it’s not resolved. She doesn’t want to be acrimonious anymore, and he’s cute. Kate tells Kevin the guests loved the dessert. Simone breaks a glass, and Kate jokes that it’s okay; they only have one more charter. In her interview, Simone says she doesn’t respect Kate anymore. Go ahead and laugh, bitch.

Final day of charter. Kevin says he can bear through it. Brian tells Ashton that he and Courtney made up. Tanner oversleeps, and Ashton finally makes him get up. In Ashton’s interview, he’s concerned about Tanner making it a habit of oversleeping. In Rhylee’s interview, she says she’s at her wit’s end with this crew. She works as hard, or harder, than Tanner, but he’s one of the boys, so he gets away with murder.

Courtney takes breakfast orders, and the guests are happy. The captain asks Ashton how things are going with Rhylee, and Ashton says, much better. They’re great when they all work as a team. Captain Lee is like, wonderful, now that it’s the end of the season. Tanner and Brian are talking on deck, while Captain Lee and Ashton watch from the wheelhouse. The captain tells Ashton he’s going to wait for them to be distracted, and then blows the horn, giving them both a heart attack. He and Ashton laugh their asses off. The captain radios for the crew to put on their whites, and startles the guests with the horn while they have a drink on deck. Luckily, they find it funny. It’s like he just found the horn or something. Kate sees the first boat she worked on, and gets nostalgic. In her interview, she says that boat is the reason she got into yachting. The last time she saw it, she was getting fired in the Bahamas. It’s like seeing a long lost love by accident, out of town.

It’s time for goodbyes. In her interview, Kate says the guests were nice, but she can’t wait to untuck her shirt and stop waiting on people. Alexis says it was the best vacation she’s ever taken, and Andrew gives Captain Lee the tip envelope. The crew has lunch, and none of the guys will slide over to let Rhylee sit. Courtney finally moves over, and Tanner gets up to eat at the counter, saying she can take his spot. In Simone’s interview, she says, they’re like mean kids on the playground. Rhylee eats in her cabin, and Ashton tells the others, it’s like a kid throwing their toys around; don’t pay attention. In Kate’s interview, she says when she started out on this adventure, she was a bad stew. She’s come a long way. She thinks it’s special the boat showed up in Thailand, but she can’t be yachting forever, and thinks she’s ready for a new adventure.

The tip meeting commences, and this time it’s $17,500, or S1590 a piece. The captain tells them to go out for dinner tonight, but they have an early morning with guests at 11:30 am. While she cleans the boat, Rhylee sees Brian and Tanner taking a smoke break. She thinks she should take up smoking. She can have twenty breaks, and alleviate the stress. Ashton whines that her comment isn’t constructive, and she says she was commenting in jest, like the dudes do. Ashton tells her, just calm down before it gets heated, and I desperately want to punch him in the face. He says she has an attitude and isn’t being constructive. He thinks the best thing would be for her to take a break. Rhylee says, the best thing would be for her to clean by herself, away from them. Ashton leaves, and she asks if he’s going to suggest firing her again. He tells Brian and Tanner that he’s done. In Tanner’s interview, he says, Rhylee is like a champagne bottle on New Year’s. She shakes it up, and you don’t know when the cork is going to pop. One more charter, and they’re done with Rhylee. The captain calls Kate, Kevin, and Ashton to the crew mess for a preference sheet meeting.

Captain Lee says their final guest will be sports broadcaster/writer Jamele Hill. It’s going to be an all ladies trip. They love delicious food, so he suggests Kevin feel free to pull out all the stops. She’s getting married later this year, so this is her pre-bachelorette party. They want a 90s theme party, and an all-white dinner party, which the captain is invited to attend. Jamele has requested dirty themed drinks, and Captain Lee asks if they can find those little d*ck lollipops. Kate says, anything for him. They also want a penis cake, and the captain says Kate can give Kevin ideas, harkening back to her talents with towel folding. She says, if it’s standing up, it will be more fun. Captain Lee thinks it’s going to be a great last charter. Kevin can’t believe he has to make a penis cake.

Rhylee tells Simone that she doesn’t think Kate particularly likes Tanner. Simone says she knows he asked Kate out at the beginning. How was she the easy bitch? In Simone’s interview, she says a lot of guys have let her down; her father being the prime example. She tries to be open and let people in, but when she does that in relationships, it doesn’t work out, and reminds her of the pain from the past. She tells Rhylee that she has to see him every day. She thought it was going to be casual, and be done. In her interview, she says she opened herself up to Tanner, and he played her. It’s hurtful and disrespectful. Rhylee suggests she get under someone else.

In the guys’ taxi, they toast to the last charter. They made it. In the other taxi, Rhylee says she thinks she’s underappreciated, and it has to do with one person in particular and their attitude. Kate says, it’s hard to watch it happening. In Kate’s interview, she says Rhylee deserves a chance work with a manger who manages. Ashton is too big for his bosun britches, and he’s not a good leader. Kevin asks if Kate is being too much of a bitch for Tanner. In his interview, Tanner says he wants to get laid; the bitchier the better. He thanks the guys for their support.

The crew heads to a Thai market to get food. A woman walks by with a cat wearing glasses and riding in a snuggly. Rhylee is excited about the market, and wants a scorpion on a stick. In Kate’s interview, she wonders if a scorpion is her spirit animal. They’re nice, then they kill you. Rhylee says it tastes like a corn nut, but saltier. Tanner sees the crickets, and says, Jiminy Cricket. In Kevin’s interview, he says he’s a chef in a Thai market, and if he has a chance to buy insects, he’s going to buy insects. He bogarts the fried crickets. Rhylee keeps trying to get in to order something, and he cricket blocks her. He tells the guys about how he pissed her off, and I want to smack Brian if he says bru one more time. In Rhylee’s interview, she says she’s not stupid. She knows Kevin is talking about her. Ashton anticipates drama? Here comes drama. There are some quick back and forth insults, ending with Rhylee calling Ashton a misogynist pig, adding that he’s arrogant and egotistical. In Simone’s interview, she feels like she and Rhylee are similar, but Rhylee actually says what Simone would like to say. Rhylee tells Kate that she wants to smash Ashton’s face in. Courtney tells Brian not to accelerate the situation, and he asks why she’s taking sides. Rhylee starts to get teary, and walks away, and Tanner says she wants a reaction.  Simone says Rhylee isn’t crying for attention, but because she’s upset. Rhylee tells Ashton, eff off; she doesn’t like him. In Brian’s interview, Brian says that Courtney needs to see that it’s Rhylee stirring the pot. Courtney says he’s allowed to tell Rhylee to calm down, but gets mad at her for doing the same thing he does. He tells her that she’s being ridiculous, and Courtney starts to cry. In her interview, she says she’s not used to someone she cares about being aggressive and yelling at her for no reason; it’s shocking.

Back in the taxi, Courtney wonders why Brian is so mean. Rhylee follows Ashton to the guys’ taxi, and asks if he thinks she should be fired. He says he’s not saying anything. Courtney says, whenever she has an opinion, it’s not valid, but when Brian does, it counts. He’s hot and cold. In Kate’s interview, she says it started off being a nice night eating scorpions, and they ended up with Rhylee in full rage and Courtney sobbing. When Rhylee screams at her, she feels like it’s in a sister way. Rhylee knows she’ll take it. Brian – wait for it – gives out friendship bracelets to all the guys, proving that they really are fourteen-year-old girls. Rhylee says Kate isn’t the one getting the brunt of it, and Kate asks Rhylee to stop talking. They head back to the boat, and Rhylee asks if her time is over to feel bad about how she’s treated. She asks Courtney, what happened? and Kate says, what does she think? She didn’t notice while she was in a blackout rage. Rhylee tells Kate, get off her jock.

Brian asks if Tanner is still going to bang Kate, and Ashton says he’s not getting involved in any more drama. Rhylee says Kate acts like the queen bee. It’s not a not yacht crew; it’s just dumb effing nonsense. Back on the boat, Courtney ignores Brian. Brian tells Rhylee to smile, and I’m shocked she doesn’t deck him (no pun intended) right there. Simone asks how Courtney is feeling, and Courtney says Brian is mean to her about everything she has an opinion on. In Courtney’s interview, she says she’s over it, especially when Brian has been drinking. She doesn’t get conversation; she gets, I can’t believe you did that. He deals with conversations like a toddler.

The guys sit at a table, drinking on deck. As they see Kate coming toward the boat, Ashton says, Tanner has an agenda tonight. Kevin says, he’s on a mission. Tanner says when the Rhylee sh*t happened, he knew that was it. The guys make lewd comments and laugh. Kate comes through, and asks if she can get them something, calling them a bunch of sh*ts. In her interview, she says she can’t her what they’re saying, but she’s been around them long enough to know when her name is involved, she can be pretty sure they’re talking sh*t about her. She slams the door, saying, eff you, and going back inside. Kevin suddenly remembers his cricket purchase, and goes to get them in the galley. Kate tells him, get out of the interior, and won’t let him through, saying, go the long way. In Kate’s interview, she says Kevin has put his foot down, and made an argument out of everything. She heads a department too. Her department is the interior, and he can’t be in it. She slams the door to the galley access. In Ashton’s interview, he says, she’s acting like a little brat. Kevin tells Kate, don’t be dramatic. He goes back to the table, shouting, wake up the captain; Kate is being dramatic!

Captain Lee says, eff me, and comes out of his cabin in PJ bottoms, sans shirt. Kate tells the guys, she walked up on them talking sh*t. She heard them on the dock. Captain Lee walks out, and asks, wtf is going on? Ashton shrugs, and the captain says, no one knows, and he doesn’t want to know. Ashton points a literal finger at Kate, and Captain Lee says, he doesn’t want to know. All he wants is them to get to bed, and be ready to go in the morning. The rest is irrelevant bullsh*t. In his interview, the captain says they have charter guests coming in less than twelve hours, and the crew is up kicking a dead horse. He’s madder than a pissed on chicken. They’re acting like a-holes, and there’s going to be hell to pay in the morning.

He says, at this hour, he doesn’t need to be hearing slamming doors and yelling. If anyone takes issue with that, they can see him in his quarters. The captain goes back in, slamming the door. Kevin says, oh sh*t.  

Next time, Brian asks Courtney for no more drama; Captain Lee says if anyone feels they can’t get along, they can pack their bags; and Kevin asks Kate why she’s being a d*ck.

📠 Everything Old Is New Again…

So glad to see Spencer back! And that he’s the same actor.

📺 Weekend Watching…

Besides overindulging in 90 Day Fiancé, I discovered yet another Tyler Perry gem. It’s not exactly new, having premiered in fall of last year, but I kept missing it. There’s nothing I love more than a marathon, and BET had Tyler Perry’s The Oval on rotation. I. Loved. It. It stars Ed Quinn (Randy, Two Broke Girls) as POTUS, who is one nasty piece of work. Although he’s nothing in comparison to FLOTUS (Kron Moore), who beat up a woman and tased her own daughter in the first episode. They’re not like any first family you’ve ever seen, and the show is like Dynasty times ten on crack. I don’t know how often I’ll be able to catch it, but it’s definitely worth catching.

🕊 Apropos Of the Day…

And one of my favorite songs from Hairspray, from one of my favorite artists.

January 17, 2020 – Nelle Begins To Wreak Havoc, Don’t Pick On Tyler, Oscar News, Charming Crisis, Max’s Mistakes, 3×2 Quotes, Pearls From MLK & Weekend Alarm


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

On the phone, Carly asks when Diane will be available. She knows Diane has other clients, but Carly Is married to her most important one, and her second most important one is her best friend. They have Diane on retainer just for this kind of situation. She says, 3 o’clock will be great. Sonny asks if everything is okay, and Carly says, nothing Diane can’t handle. Gladys comes downstairs, and asks how her handsome grandson is. Dev says they don’t have to keep up the pretense there, but she says she doesn’t like to do things halfway. As far as she’s concerned, they’re all family. Sonny asks if she had a good night’s sleep, and says, fantastic. She got out of Turning Woods so late, she just couldn’t make the drive home. Sonny says he’s told he that he’s grateful for everything she’s done for his dad. He thinks the study will be good for Mike, and help him stick around longer.

At Turning Woods, a guy comes to the reception desk, and says he’s looking for Mike – we don’t see his face. The receptionist says Mike is over on the couch, and he is…? He says, a friend of the family, and shows her a badge, saying, among other things. Mike sits looking at a deck of cards.

At Kelly’s Trina tells Cameron, Shelly. He says, she’s self-absorbed. What about Hunter? Trina says, he’s way too in love with himself. She says Amia, and he says, no. She asks, why not? and he says for reasons he’s keeping to himself. She asks if they should keep searching for an acceptable date, or should they give up and go to the mid-winter formal together?

Jason sits with Michael at the MetroCourt. He says he wanted to check on Michael, since Nelle is out of prison. Michael says he can call Diane to file an objection. Nelle showed up at the shareholder’s meeting. As Shiloh’s widow, she’s claiming Oscar’s shares. Jason says, the will is still in probate, but Michael tells him, in the meantime, Nelle’s lawyer got an injunction allowing her to vote. He can’t believe she’s back in their lives. She’s been out of prison less than a day, and she’s already thrown his family into chaos.

Nelle tells Brad, the coffee tastes like heaven. He looks like he could use some. She asks if he had a rough night, and he says, Wiley was restless; he misses Lucas. Maybe Nelle should stay where she can sleep better. She says it’s noisy in prison; she can sleep  through anything. She asks how Wiley is, and he says Wiley finally dropped off around 5, so he’s letting Wiley sleep as long as possible. He asks if she has any plans for her first day of freedom, and she says she has so many people to catch up with.

Jordan stares at her computer, looking at an article on the opioid crisis. Chase comes in, and tells her  no one is talking in the Corinthos empire. Jordan tells him, keep at it. Maybe he’ll find a weak link. He says he’ll keep asking questions until he gets a lead; maybe revisit the scene. She thanks him, but he doesn’t leave, and she asks if there’s anything else. He says he wondered that himself. Is there something he can help her with?

Michael says Jason would have enjoyed the shareholder’s meeting. Nelle was Nelle, but he would have loved seeing the Q’s close ranks. Jason says he would have, and Michael asks how things are with Sam. He’d be happy to make sure they bump into each other accidentally at ELQ. Jason says, they have a plan to deal with the situation. Michael says all the damage Shiloh caused, and he’s still causing it. Nelle has also caused her share. They’re going to be feeling the side-effects for years. Jason says, there will always be challenges; just keep a clear head. Michael says he’s got to, and knows he should be grateful. No matter how much damage Nelle has done, she can’t do a thing to Wiley.

Brad tells Nelle, she should get out and enjoy herself. Indulge in some pancakes at Kelly’s, and have a manicure. Do everything she missed. Nelle wishes she could, but she doesn’t have a lot of cash. Brad digs in his wallet, and tells her, here’s 60 bucks; enjoy herself. She says he’s just the best, but first, she’s going to have another long, hot shower. She’s addicted to his eucalyptus bath gel. He waits to hear the shower, and picks up the phone, but there’s a knock at the door. It’s Willow, who asks if Wiley had breakfast. She can make him some. She hears the shower, and asks if he has company. He says, no… Actually… Nelle comes out, asking if he has any conditioner. Both Nelle and Willow ask, what is she doing here? in unison.

Sonny tells Dev that he’s heading out, and Dev won’t see him at the warehouse. He’s going to New York for a couple of days, checking out a possible treatment for his dad. Gladys says, thanks to her. She’s the one who found out about it. Dev’s phone dings, and Gladys asks if it’s his girlfriend. Dev says he doesn’t have one, and she says, a cute guy like him? He flashes back to Josslyn kissing him. Gladys says the girls must be crawling all over Dev, like they did her Brando. Josslyn flashes back to kissing Dev, and him not being receptive. She says she has to get something, and goes upstairs. Dev says he’s got an idea. He can go with Sonny to NYC and help out, since Mike likes him. Sonny knows he’s good with Mike, and thanks him for the offer, but he’s taking Jason.

Mike shuffles his cards, and the mystery man says, hey, Mike. He says he sees Mike still likes cards, and Mike asks if the guy is his ride.

Dev says he can keep Mike distracted. They could play checkers. Sonny says Dev is a master at letting Mike think he won, but he thinks it would better if Dev stays to help Carly and Josslyn. Carly reminds him that he also has school. Sonny says, he’s got to go, and he and Carly say goodbye. Josslyn comes back downstairs, and Dev says Trina texted. She and Cameron are at Kelly’s, and want to know if they want to meet. Josslyn says, no thanks; she has stuff to do. She’ll see them in school. Dev says, cool.

Cameron tells Trina that they said they’d be each other’s dates if there was no one else. For a failsafe to work, you have to fail. She says, exactly. So shut up and pick someone. He says, her first. Why not Hunter? He’s a jerk on the surface, but it’s just a façade. He’s sweet and funny once you get to know him. Trina says she doesn’t want to work that hard. Cameron says she wants to go with Dev, and she says, like he wants to go with Josslyn.

Jordan tells Chase that Sherri Grant left three messages on her phone. How did Zak’s sister learn that Nelle got early parole? He says he called her. She had the right to know her brother’s killer was released. Jordan says they don’t supervise paroled felons. Stay away from Nelle.

Nelle tells Willow that Brad is a wonderful, loyal friend. He’s letting her stay until her late husband’s assets are unfrozen. She says, it’s a bit early for hanging out, and Willow says she’s Wiley’s part-time nanny. Nelle says, how surprising, and Brad says he needed help. Willow says he doesn’t have to justify anything with his son to Nelle. Brad tells Nelle, unless she likes cold showers, she’d better jump in. She says she won’t be long. When she’s gone, Willow asks what Brad was thinking. How could he let that psycho anywhere near Wiley?

Sasha walks into the MetroCourt and see Michael. She says, it’s a nice surprise, and Jason tells her to take his seat; he has to go. Sasha sits, and says she was just getting coffee. She sees some paperwork, and asks Michael what it is. He says they’re court documents with the stipulations of Nelle’s release. There’s no way she should have gotten early parole, and he’s going to do everything he can to make sure she’s sent back.

Sonny tells the receptionist at Turning Woods, he’s there to pick up his dad. She says his dad is talking to a visitor; he said he was a friend of the family. Sonny asks what his name is, and she says she’s sure he’s fine. He showed her his badge. Sonny asks how Mike is doing, and who’s he talking to? Taggert turns around, and says, hey, Sonny. He and Mike were just talking about him.

Sonny asks if his dad is okay, and Taggert says, he’s fine. Sonny tells Taggert to take a walk. They stroll over to the other side of the room, and Sonny asks what Taggert is doing there. Is this what he’s been reduced to? Harassing an old, sick man? Taggert says Sonny hasn’t changed; he’s still paranoid. Jason arrives, and asks if everybody is good. Sonny tells Jason to sit with his dad while he chats with Taggert and the reminisce about old times. Jason goes over to Mike, and Mike asks if Jason has seen his wife. He can’t find her. He asks if Jason can check, and Jason says, no problem, but he’s sure she’s okay. How is Mike? Is he ready for their trip? Mike says he can’t go anywhere until he finds Yvonne. Taggert tells Sonny that he looks good, and Sonny says, answer the question. Why is he there harassing Mike? Taggert says he heard Sonny’s father was there, and he wanted to see how Mike was doing. He’s sorry the Alzheimer’s is so advanced. He knows it’s tough. Sonny says Taggert left years ago, and he was a happier man because of it. Why the hell is he back?

Dev says he’s going to meet Cameron and Trina. Gladys says she’ll be glad to drive him in her new car. When they leave, Carly asks Josslyn, what’s going on with them. Josslyn says, nothing. She didn’t feel like hanging out. She and Dev aren’t joined at the hip. Carly says she knows that. At first, they didn’t get along, then they were great, now she won’t look at him. Did he hit on her?

Sasha understands what Michael’s mom is upset, and Michael says, she definitely hates Nelle. Sasha says he has to be careful; Nelle is still fixated on him. He says he’s more worried about Sasha. Nelle comes off as harmless, but she’s a dangerous psychotic. Sasha will be a target because of him. She doesn’t understand why they let Nelle out, and he says, Nelle is a master manipulator. She seems helpless, harmless, and remorseful, and she’s anything but. She’ll go to any length to get what she wants. She married a cult leader, and allowed herself to be stabbed. Ryan has a medical degree, and knows how to stab someone without causing damage. Sasha says, so Nelle is basically capable of anything, and Michael says, that’s why she needs to move in with him.

Jordan tells Chase, it’s a direct order. Is he refusing to comply? He says he knows Nelle, and his gut tells him, if she’s at large, she’s going to claim another victim. Jordan says, Nelle didn’t escape; she was paroled. If he does anything to harass her, he’ll be the loser. He already wrecked his career over her. He built his life back up, and he’s her best detective. She’s not about to lose him now. He asks if it isn’t his duty to protect Port Charles. Look at what Nelle did while she was incarcerated. She befriended a serial killer, and married a cult leader. Jordan says, Nelle is dangerous, and they’re going to keep an eye on her, but he won’t be the one doing it. Any case would be instantly compromised if he gets involved, and it would cast doubt on any evidence. He says, if comes it down to it, he’ll do what it takes protect the people he loves. He knows it’s not what Jordan wants to hear, but it’s the best he can do.

Brad tells Willow, it all happened so fast. Nelle showed up, and he couldn’t leave her out on the street. Willow wonders where Nelle was staying when she organized that travesty of a memorial. She talked about being Wiley’s stepmother, saying it was Shiloh’s dream to reunite with Wiley, and it was her responsibility to fulfill that dream. Brad says Nelle would never try to take Wiley from him and Lucas, but Willow asks how he knows. She tried to kill Michael, her baby’s father. She’s capable of anything. She asks if Brad slept, and he says, Wiley was up during the night; he misses Lucas. She says she knows it’s a lot right now, but Wiley has to be his first priority. Brad goes to tend to Wiley. Nelle comes back out and tells Willow, this isn’t the job for her. Willow asks, why? and Nelle says, because being Wiley’s nanny could be bad for her health.

Mike says he can’t go anywhere until he sees Yvonne. He hasn’t seen her all day. Jason says he has something for Mike, and produces some earbuds. Mike says he doesn’t need a hearing aid, and Jason says, they’re headphones. Just put one in his ear. Jason thinks he’ll like what he hears. Jason plays something for Mike, and Mike says he knows that tune. Tony Bennett; he’s the best. Jason says he thought Mike would enjoy it. He tells Mike to put the other one in to enjoy the full effect.

Taggert tells Sonny, it’s been a minute. Port Charles has changed a lot. Laura is mayor? He didn’t see that coming. Sonny hopes he’s just passing through, and he goes back where he came from. Taggert asks if that’s a threat, and Sonny says, just like a cop. He’s looking always for a crime. He was just thinking of Port Charles’s brutal winters, and thought Taggert would like someplace with a warmer climate. Wasn’t he out west? Taggert says he hears things. He heard one of Sonny’s trucks was hijacked and torched. Sonny says, someone on the PCPD likes to gossip. Taggert says when someone puts it over on Sonny, it’s big news in his circle of friends. Sonny asks, what circle? and Taggert says he’ll see Sonny around.

Josslyn tells Carly that Dev didn’t hit on her. Not even close. Carly says, if Josslyn hit on him, it would be understandable. Josslyn tells her, just stop. How can she have feelings for Dev, and still love Oscar? Carly says, it’s possible to have feelings for someone else, and move on. It’s healthy, but the situation is complicated if the person she has feelings for is Dev.

Cameron tells Trina, stop pushing. Josslyn is just a friend. Trina says he said he thought Josslyn was cute. She admits she likes Dev, but she accepted he doesn’t feel the same way, and she’s moving on. It’s called being honest with yourself; he should try it. He says she’s doing it again, talking like a psychiatrist. She says it doesn’t take a psychiatrist to see that he’s hiding feelings he claims he doesn’t have. Cameron says he’s shallow, and only cares about video games and soccer. She says he’s not convincing. Dev joins them, and Trina says please tell her Josslyn isn’t writing in her journal. Cameron says, she’s always writing in it. Gladys comes in, and asks if these are Dev’s friends. He asks what she’s doing there, and she says, is that any way to talk to his nana?

Sasha says Michael wants her to move in for security? He says his brother’s house has more security than her building. There are always people around, and there’s plenty of space. She can have her own room, unless she wants to share his. She appreciates the offer, and she’s touched he’s concerned about her safety, but she has to say no. He asks if it’s his snoring, or because his family is obnoxious, or she doesn’t like big houses. She says, none of the above. They have a good thing going, and she’s not about to risk that by moving in together before they’re ready. And his family can be obnoxious, especially his great aunt. He says, Tracy? and she says, sorry. He says, don’t be. If she didn’t think that way, he’d be worried. He agrees they have something good going on, and he doesn’t want to mess it up. She’s way too important to him. They kiss.

Willow says Nelle was just paroled, and already she’s making threats? To a cop’s girlfriend? Nelle says she’d never do that. She’s sure Brad didn’t realize what he’d be putting Willow through when he asked her to be Wiley’s nanny. It’s too much to expect Willow to spend time with the child she selflessly gave away. Willow says she’ll decide what can or can’t handle, and Nelle says, of course (🍷). As someone who’s lost a child, she can imagine how painful it is to not be there for them. Like Shiloh said, there’s no such thing as coincidence. Willow says, any decision about Wiley’s care is up to Brad, not Nelle. Nelle says, that’s where Willow is wrong. She and Brad have a special connection that can’t be broken. Nelle holds the door open, and Willow says tell Brad she’ll call him. Nelle says, will do; bye now. Willow leaves, and Nelle hollers for Brad.

Mike says, wow, and tells Jason that Tony Bennett had a sold out performance at the Apollo in ’99, honoring Billie Holiday. It was a concert for the ages, and broadcast worldwide. Sonny asks if Mike is ready, but Mike says it feels like he should stay. Sonny says the sooner they get rolling, they can visit Mike’s old stomping grounds in Brooklyn. Mike says they’re not in Brooklyn, and Jason says if they leave now, they can stop by the Apollo. He heard it’s been renovated. Mike says he’ll get his hat, and Jason says he’ll get Mike’s bag. Sonny thanks him.

Gladys introduces herself to Cameron and Trina, saying she’s Dev’s grandma from Bridgeport, but they can call her Gladys. Trina and Cameron introduce themselves, and Cameron says Dev mentioned she was visiting. Gladys says, it’s great Sonny took Dev in. Her dear son Brando – may he rest in peace – would be happy that Dev is getting to know more of his family. She says she needs to get some coffee, and goes to the counter. Dev tells them, Gladys doesn’t know they know, and he wants to keep it that way. He doesn’t really trust her. They’ll have to keep up the pretense around her. He hopes for not too much longer.

Michael tells Sasha, the solution is to take a trip; an extended vacation. Sasha says she’s a newly minted cosmetics mogul. Her agent negotiated an incredible deal, and she’d feel like she was letting them down if she took off before the company launch. Michael says how good she would look, rested and relaxed, with a golden tan, but she says she’s not listening. He tells her, after the launch, they’re heading to Kauai, and she says he’s a great negotiator.

Willow finds Chase at the MetroCourt, and he asks why she’s not with Wiley. She says, Brad decided to take him to daycare, and he asks, why? She says they had an argument. Brad is letting Nelle stay with him and Wiley.

Nelle asks what the hell Brad is doing, asking Willow to be Wiley’s nanny? He says he doesn’t have time for this, and has to call in, saying he’ll be late. She says they’re talking now, and Brad says Michael insisted on looking after Wiley himself. He knows how much Nelle hates him in Wiley’s proximity, so he asked Willow instead. She’s the lesser of two evils, and Wiley likes her. Nelle says she doesn’t like it, and tells Brad, get rid of Willow or she will.

Josslyn tells Carly that she’s going to Trina’s to study, and Carly suggests Trina come there. Josslyn says they might as well go to the library, and Carly says, no sleepover. She asks what happened  that Josslyn is hiding. It’s not going to make it better. Josslyn says she’s not hiding. It was one kiss that was one-sided. Dev isn’t into her, which is great, because he’s a nice guy and all, but she’s clearly not ready to be thinking about other guys. Carly says she’s going through a process, and she knows Josslyn will get through it. It’s normal for her to be noticing other boys, and still love Oscar. She has more room to love more than one person. Josslyn says maybe she’s not ready, and Carly says, maybe, or maybe the right guy hasn’t come along. When he does, he’ll help her.

Dev says, sorry about Gladys, and Trina says  she’s very extra. Dev says she’s trying to bond, but he wishes she’d back off. Gladys returns, and says she brought Dev a donut. Does he have any cash? He gives her some money, and she asks what they’re talking about. Dev says, nothing. They have to go or they’ll be late. Gladys says she can give them a ride, but Dev says, there’s no need. He’ll see her later. The three kids jet. Outside, Dev says, hurry up; she might follow him. Trina says he’s the one she’s after. Get going, and they’ll catch up. Dev moves on, and Trina asks for Cameron’s phone. He gives it to her, and she sends a text. She gives it back, saying, there. He just asked Amia out. He asks why she did that, and she tells him, chill. She’ll ask Hunter. A one-date deal is fine.

Sonny helps Mike put his coat on. Mike thanks him for helping an old man. He tells Sonny that he’s a  great guy, and reminds him of his son. He asks if Jason is their driver, and Jason says, yes, sir. Mike hopes they can stop at Luigi’s; they have great calzones. Sonny says they’ll make it happen. Mike says what about their friend? and Jason says the guy who was there had to leave. Mike says, so soon? Too bad, and Sonny says, don’t worry. He has a feeling they’ll be seeing him again.

On the phone, Jordan tells someone to keep on forensics. She wants to cross match the accelerant with one used in a another arson. Taggert walks in, and asks if she’s kicking ass and taking names. She called. Partners for life, right?

Brad tells Nelle that she can’t be talking about killing Willow, and Nelle says, one way or another, Willow’s got to go. She’s not Wiley’s real mother; Nelle is. He says she agreed that no one should know because it risked Michael going for custody. She can’t push, or the whole thing will come crashing down. Nelle says she won’t push Willow out, but she’ll be taking care of her son herself.

Willow tells Chase, he should have heard Brad. What is he thinking? Nelle said she was glad she’s there to help, and she’s going to push Willow out, and take over. Michael joins them, and asks if everything is okay. Willow says, it’s not okay. It’s about as bad as it can get. They have to do something. Wiley is no longer safe with Brad.

On Monday, Laura says Jax isn’t the one who broke her heart, Gladys is impressed, and Taggert asks why he had to drop everything to come back.

💪 R U Kidding Me…?

I have never once felt that Tyler Perry exploits women in any way. Quite the opposite.

And if he wants to write everything himself, more power to him. I swear, people will complain about anything, whether it’s their business or not.

🏆 I Suppose I Have To…

I stopped watching the Academy Awards years ago. It’s just too long to sit through for a few good moments I can catch online.

More like a lot of snubs and one surprise.

🍹 Rut-Ro…

All is not well in Charleston. Where’s Ashley when you need her?

Never Put It In Writing…

When will these people learn, if you say something stupid on the Internet, it will come back to haunt you.

🔊 Quotes of  the Week

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. – Marilyn Monroe

The question is not what you look at, but what you see.Henry David Thoreau

Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have. – Jim Rohn

Enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go. – Mandy Hale

It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. – Lucille Ball

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. – a fortune cookie from my take-out

Weekend Reflection…

Enjoy your extra day if you have one, and don’t forget to remember a man gone too soon. A few gems from Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of convenience and comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.

We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right.

January 14, 2020 – A Barroom Brawl In PC, Carter’s Not Invited, News Of the Shooting Travels & Sun’s Up


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

At the MetroCourt, Michael ask if Willow wants something stronger, but she says she wants to be extremely sober. He says, at a memorial for someone she hates?

Curtis texts Jordan, asking if they’re still on for dinner, and saying he’s at the MetroCourt. He flashes back to telling Jordan about following up on Bob’s death, and that it was a drug overdose.

On the phone, Chase says he’s checking in with Jordan before he goes to Shiloh’s memorial. She asks why he’s going, and he says to support Willow. She tells him to be careful Shiloh’s spirit doesn’t provoke his followers into doing anything supernatural. He says he’ll shut it down if it gets too culty. She says, let her know if anyone of interest shows up. Jason Joins him.

Jordan looks at Bob’s file. Laura comes in, and asks if she has some time. Jordan asks if everything is okay, and Laura says, it’s fine. Does Jordan know what today is? Jordan asks if it’s a trick question, and Laura says she thought Jordan was good with anniversaries. Jordan says, a year ago, Laura was elected mayor. She congratulates Laura on a successful first year. Look at how much she’s accomplished. Laura says the next thing she wants to do is revitalize the waterfront. Jordan says that’s a major project, and asks if Laura doesn’t have a full calendar. Laura tells her, just say it. Her son has returned from the dead.

Tracy tells Ned, she’s not making a play for ELQ. Someone else is. Ned asks, who? and Tracy closes the doors. She says she doesn’t know. They presented themselves as investors, but she has the feeling they’re intermediaries. Ned says she didn’t come there because she missed the family, and she says there are some things you can’t say on the phone or put in writing. A lesson his daughter would do well to learn.

Brook tells Linc (don’t ask me why I thought his name was Zak – he looks like a Zak), don’t touch her again. He says he didn’t, but makes a grab for her, and Lulu jumps in, telling him to back off. Dustin grabs him, and throws him against the wall, saying he should never put his hands on a woman. Brook says, Dusty? and Dustin says, Brook? She calls him her knight in shining armor, and Lulu says, they know each other? Linc tells them to have a reunion some other time. He and Brook have business to discuss. Brook says she has nothing to discuss with him, calling him a dirtbag. Linc tells Dustin to let him go, and Dustin says only if he stays away from Brook.

Alexis asks Neil what she did to make him lose his license, and he says he didn’t mean to make it sound like that. She did nothing wrong, except be her captivating, intriguing, occasionally infuriating self. She says he’s not making sense, and he says the minute he admitted his feelings for her, he should have stopped himself.

Jordan tells Laura that she didn’t want get into it, since they had more pressing matters, but now that the dust has settled, Nikolas’s outstanding allegations have to be addressed. He faked his own murder, and framed Drew. Laura doesn’t know what Jordan expects her to say. Nikolas is her son, and she loves him no matter what he may have done.

Ned wonders why investors would approach Tracy; she doesn’t have any shares. She says what she lacks in stock, she has in expertise and inside knowledge. He says they’re after Dillon’s shares, and she says Dillon is too busy being an auteur to think about ELQ. When they made an offer, she said, thanks, but no thanks. Ned says, just like that, and she says he doesn’t think she’d sell her son out, does he? He says, it wouldn’t be the first time. However, she didn’t have to come back to warn him. She turned them down; end of story. She says, no. When she declined, they took a different tactic. They went after Luke.

Linc says Brook is his client, but she says, more like a hostage. He grabbed her after he felt her up. Linc tells her not to make it a me too moment. Give him a break. Lulu tells him to calm down. He didn’t grab Brook, he assaulted her, and Lulu is going to make a police report. Brook says she’s not leaving. Brook Lynn Quartermaine has a show to do, and no sleaze is going to stand in her way.  

Jordan tells Jason that she’s doing a follow-up on the coffee truck that was hijacked. She hopes he keeps her informed.

Willow tells Michael, whatever poor, deluded soul is memorializing Shiloh, she won’t let them rewrite history. Someone needs to be a voice for all the people that monster has hurt. Michael says, between him, Chase, and Jason, she has plenty of that. She says she doesn’t want to worry about Wiley’s safety. It’s important that he feel secure and loved. He says Wiley has great parents, and she’s his official nanny. Willow says she would love to focus on Wiley’s future without thinking about his birth father.

Curtis calls Stella, and asks how she’s been. She says, no complaints. Did he call to chat, or is there something on his mind? He says, it’s nothing really, and she says, which means it’s important. Out with it. He asks if he can trouble her for relationship advice, and she asks if something is going on between him and Jordan. He says, they’re better than fine. A guy Jordan used to work with passed away at Christmas, and it hit her hard. She’s reluctant to open up to him. If only Stella was on this side of the Atlantic. The elevator doors open, and Stella comes out, saying, if only indeed.

Alexis says, let her get it straight. Neil may lose his license because he likes her? He says, because he told her, and did something about it. Alexis says they did everything by the book, and only went out once after Neil ended treatment with both her and Kristina. He says he may have skimmed the book instead of reading it. Alexis asks what he missed, and he says, professional ethics. He was supposed to wait two years after treating her to date her. Alexis says, that’s an important part to miss; he should have known. He says he was so happy to be with her, he thought since she was no longer a patient, it was just a formality. Alexis says, as long as no one found out, and he says, someone did.

Neil says he got a notice from the accreditation board. Someone filed a complaint. Alexis wonders if it’s someone from Dawn of Day, and he says, in a way, it’s Shiloh’s fault. He set the events with Kendra in motion. The reports came back, and included his presence during Alexis’s rescue. They connected the dots. She says, Kendra’s mother is still alive, and wonders if that’s a possibility. He says, it happened, and now he’s facing a hearing. He’s going to throw himself at the mercy of the board. She says, absolutely not.

Jordan tells Laura, it’s a cold case, and the victim was exonerated. Drew can no longer provide testimony, so it’s not likely the case will move forward for investigation or any charges will be filed. Laura says her hope is that Nikolas will own up to his past mistakes, and build up his life. She suggests they talk about the waterfront, and Jordan says she’s confused. Laura ran for office fighting against the redevelopment of Charles Street. Laura says, the waterfront is a different story. It’s been a magnet for crime long as she can remember. She was hoping Jordan could provide the crime statistics for the docks and the surrounding area. She’s meeting with potential developers, and wants her facts straight.

Ned tells Tracy, the last time Luke got involved, he nearly sank the company; he’s toxic. Tracy says, have a nice life in poverty. Maybe he should fight their enemies with both hands tied behind his back. He asks, what happened? and she says, Luke found himself in a spot of trouble. Something to do with counterfeit tulips. The investors agreed to make his problems go away. Ned says, in exchange for Dillon’s shares? Tracy says she told them to jump in the canal, and Ned asks if he should start applauding. She says, no. Step up and defend daddy’s legacy instead.

Michael tells Willow, it’s fine if she decides to change her mind. Kristina decided not to go. Willow says, it’s too fresh for her. Jason and Chase have arrived, and Jason says Sam isn’t going either. Diane convinced her to steer clear since she’s responsible for Shiloh’s death. Chase says, Sam could be a target for taking out their beloved leader. Jason says he’s more interested in who framed Sam. Maybe they’ll show up.

Linc says Brook can call herself Daffy Duck for all he cares; the contract is still in force and he’s still in charge. She has no say so. She says she’s not working for scum like him, and Lulu says, it’s sexual harassment. Linc tells her to stay out of it. The language is clear. Brook has to provide three records. If she doesn’t, then she needs to use her mouth for something other than music. Dustin punches him in the mouth. I’m actually surprised he said that in front of a room full of people.

Chase gets a call from the PCPD, and Willow asks if it’s an emergency. He says he has to help with a disturbance, and asks if she’ll be okay without him. Michael says he and Jason will be there, and Willow says, so will her mom. She’ll be ready to correct any misconceptions Shiloh’s followers have about his legacy. Chase leaves, and Michael asks if Willow is ready to head over. Willow says, ready as she’ll ever be, and they go.

Alexis tells Neil to send her the complaint. She wants to look it over. She’ll find a loophole or a technicality. He says, what if she doesn’t? and she says, not everything is in black and white. They had one date; it doesn’t constitute as much, and they weren’t very physical. He asks if his thoughts count. She tells him, don’t claim fault. Never say he’s sorry or it was a mistake. Tell them, it’s not serious, and he’ll do better in the future. He says what if he doesn’t want to? What if he wants to make the same mistake over and over again?

Curtis finds Jordan in the interrogation room. He says he’d like to file a missing person’s report. His wife has gone missing. Jordan says, dinner at the MetroCourt. She’s so sorry. Why didn’t he call? He says, he did, and texted. She says her phone is in her office, and she didn’t check. Curtis says, luckily, they make a mean cobb salad and apple pie, and gives her a take-out bag. She says she doesn’t deserve him, and he says he wants to keep the Commissioner happy. She says he does, and apologizes again. He says, as it turns out, he found another hot date. She’s so special, that he wants Jordan to meet her. He says, come on in, and Stella says, don’t worry. Her nephew only has eyes for Jordan. They laugh.

Tracy says ELQ needs a seasoned professional, and she’s looking at Ned. Michael wants it to be about hugging trees, and sustainable this, and reusable that. Ned asks if she’s heard of climate change, and she asks if he’s heard of profit loss. The doorbell rings, and Ned suggests they table the discussion for forever. She says, whoever it is, can wait. Ned opens the door, and seeing Tracy, Laura says, it’s a nice surprise. She hopes she’s not interrupting. Ned looks at Tracy.

Lulu says, oh my God, Dustin, and Brook says he’s still got it. Linc takes a swing at Dustin and misses. They tussle, and Dustin gets Linc in a headlock. Linc elbows him, and Lulu grabs at Linc from behind, then hits him with the rack from the pool table. Brook grabs a pool cue, and says, take that. Chase comes in, and says, break it up, while Brook goes to the bar for an empty bottle. She cracks Chase over the head by mistake, but apparently his head is pretty hard, and it doesn’t even slow him down. She asks why he got in the way.

At Shiloh’s memorial, a large photo of his smiling face sits propped up on an easel. Jason, Michael, and Willow come in. Daisy approaches them, and thanks them for coming, giving them each a program. Willow asks if Daisy arranged it, and Daisy says, a donation of any amount is welcome. Michael asks if Willow is okay, and she says she feels awful. Daisy is hanging on; trying to matter to a man who never saw her as anything but a dupe. Michael reminds her that Daisy posted Shiloh’s bail last time. Harmony comes in, and asks how Willow is. Willow says, better, now that Harmony is there. Michael asks if Harmony is sure she’s up for it, and she says wouldn’t miss this freak show for the world. They stand in the back, and Willow asks how Harmony’s job is so far. Harmony says, good. It can be rewarding when she has moments of connection that make her feel genuinely worthwhile. She wishes the good she did at DoD had a fraction of that meaning. Willow can’t believe Shiloh is being celebrated. Harmony asks why Jason is there; they’re all in danger. Jason says he’s hoping whoever arranged Shiloh’s breakout shows up.

Daisy welcomes everyone to their sunset; the memorial for their beloved Shiloh. Tonight, they celebrate their teacher, friend, and leader. Maybe in some small way. they’ll bring him back to life.

Alexis asks if Neil thinks their association was a mistake, but he says, the opposite. He’s spent his entire career helping others at the expense of his personal life. like his first marriage. Alexis says he’s good at what he does; he’s passionate and empathetic. He asks if it was worth sacrificing his family for his career. He doesn’t think so anymore. Saving people from themselves? Maybe it’s time to try something new. Alexis says, like what? and he says there are other jobs where he can use his training and expertise, where he doesn’t have to adhere to a code of conduct. They could see if there’s something to explore between them. Alexis asks if he’s willing to drop kick his career for her.

Jordan hugs Stella, and asks why she’s back so soon. Stella says the trip is for work, but she’s glad to see them. Curtis says he left his cell in the car. He leaves, and Jordan says he’s as subtle as a crowbar. What does he want them to talk about? Stella says he’s worried about her. She recently lost an old friend. Jordan says, Bob. They worked together at the DEA, yet he died of an overdose. Stella says she’s sorry, and Jordan says, it doesn’t make sense. Bob was comfortably retired. He had a pension, and was doing consulting. He was as straight-laced as they come. Stella says, that’s one reason addiction is so dangerous. The people affected are good at keeping it from their loved ones. Jordan says she should have stayed in touch, and Stella says, because she would have recognized the signs, and been able to help? Maybe; maybe not. But remember she’s not alone. She has people who love her and want to help. Stella looks at the file, and says, obsessing over her friend’s death won’t bring him back.

Laura appreciates Ned taking the time to talk to her, and Tracy says, Laura didn’t give them much choice. Ned asks what she needs to talk about, and Laura says she’s meeting with constituents about renovating the waterfront. She wondered if ELQ would be interested in a public private partnership. Tracy says Laura ran on a platform opposing renovation, but Laura says she was opposed to the gentrification of Charles Street because they wanted the people out. Ned says he won’t defend Jim Harvey’s tactics, but conserving landmarks while restoring the area, and generating tax revenue was part of his platform. What changed? Laura says they can find a compromise with their visions, and work closely with the community. She can see what changes they want without just giving them a design and no input. She’s hoping ELQ would be interested in investing. He agrees it would be a benefit to the people in the area, and Tracy says, sounds like a win-win. Laura says, it will be a loss to anyone who uses the waterfront to conduct business on the wrong side of the law, and Tracy says, like Sonny Corinthos.

Chase plops Lulu in a chair, handcuffed. Linc, Dustin, and Brook are all in handcuffs as well. Linc says he wants his lawyer, and Brook says he’s going to need one. Dustin asks if she’s okay, and she says he’s awesome. Linc says he’s going to sue for intimidation and assault, but Brook says, the only person who was assaulted was her. And the cop, but that was an accident. Linc says he owns her voice and her songs. Unless she fully completes her contract, her career is over. Chase tells him, shut up, and asks how Lulu got involved in this. She says she and Dustin were supposed to be having a great night, when those two came along. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Chase says he can’t play favorites, and he’s bringing all four of them in.

Alexis says she’s not going to let Neil lose a career he loves over a night of drag Bingo and one kiss; no matter how nice the kiss was. Neil asks what the alternative is, and she says when he testifies, tell them it was one date. He says, one and a half, and she says, tell them it was inconsequential. There’s no reason for him to lose his license over an ethical issue. She knows what it’s like to be threatened with your livelihood being ripped out from under you. He asks what about them, and she says she doesn’t want his career on her conscious. She doesn’t want him to look back and regret or blame her for the loss. Maybe someday… He says, that’s two years away, and patience is not his strong suit.

Curtis comes back, and asks, where’s Stella? Jordan says, she had to go, and said she would call later. She’s been over every page of the report on Bob’s death. She requested official copies, saying it might be germane to an investigation. He says, but it was an excuse to get the paperwork. She says she knows she hadn’t seen Bob in a long time, but she still can’t believe he OD’d. Curtis says when he was an addict, no one believed he was, including him. At first, he barely used, and made excuses, but one day it became real. It had taken over his life. That may be what happened with Bob. She says, maybe; maybe not. But she owes it to Bob and his family to keep looking until she finds answers.

At the station, Linc says he’s the only victim, and Lulu says, groping someone against their will is a crime. Jordan comes out, and asks, what the hell is going on?

Laura says she’s aware that Sonny lands cargo at several piers, and Tracy says, that’s not coffee. Ned says Michael is careful not to interfere with Sonny’s business, and doesn’t think he’ll back the renovation. Not if it will add more scrutiny to Sonny. Laura says she knows it’s a delicate situation. If he has any advice on how to broach the subject with Michael, she’s open to it. Tracy tells her, be patient. Michael may not be in charge for long. Laura asks if he’s leaving. Laura and Ned both get a text from the PCPD asking them to come to the station.

Daisy is still talking. She addresses Shiloh, saying, wherever he is, their trust remains whole and unbroken, and they’ll keep working to ensure every day is a newer, brighter dawn. She asks if anyone would like to share how Shiloh changed their life, and Willow says she would. She goes up front. She says she knows how much Shiloh means to all of them. He meant so much to so many who are struggling. He was drawn to the vulnerable, friendless, and troubled souls who had nowhere else to turn. He wanted to help, but he wanted to help himself to their money, bodies, and self-esteem. He took all their pain and inhaled it like perfume to give himself more power and control. He didn’t care about them, especially not Daisy. He wanted to own them, humiliate them, and destroy their free will. The worst thing is that he tricked them into thinking they needed him, and wanted him to tell them what to do. Look around. Shiloh is dead, and they’re still standing. They didn’t need him after all. She tells them, don’t be sad. Shiloh is gone. They should be thrilled, because they’re free. Shame on that menace to society. She’s glad he’s dead, and hopes he rots in hell.

A veiled woman gets up. She tells Willow, she’s said her piece. Now it’s her turn.

Alexis says she can’t ask Neil to sacrifice his career for her. It’s not fair to anyone. He says, if that’s the case, he doesn’t think they should see each other after the hearing. She says, not even as friends? He thinks it would be more ammunition. She’s been named in the complaint, and he’s sure they’ll reach out to her. She says she’ll be on the lookout. So this is it? He says, this is it. He wishes it could have been different. He walks out, and she looks disappointed, but I don’t know what she expected.

Brook says she’s filing a protest, and Chase threatens to put her in a holding cell with her friend. She says he’s not her friend. He says, her producer then, but she says, the contract is bogus. He says, the charges aren’t. He has a delicate head and it’s still aching. She says, it was an accident. She was swinging a Linc. Chase leaves to get an aspirin.

Lulu says, Dustin’s poor eye; does it hurt? He says only when he looks out of it. He’s sorry he got her into this mess, and she says, apology not accepted. She got herself into it. Since Brook was involved, she should have known better. He never did get a chance to tell her; how do they know each other?

Tracy says, leave it to Brook to get into a barroom brawl. Laura thinks there’s more to the story. Lulu wouldn’t have gotten drawn into something like that. Tracy tells Ned, if Brook has to spend the night there, let her. Ned says, things are always complicated when it comes to his daughter, and Tracy says, uncomplicate them. She doesn’t need him distracted. She smiles as she closes the door behind them.

The veiled woman says she didn’t know Shiloh long, but they did share a special bond. After all – she removes her veil, and it’s Nelle – he was her husband.

Tomorrow, Lulu tells Dustin not to leave anything out, Ava says Nikolas isn’t getting what he wants until she does, and Nelle says she’s Mrs. Archer and they’re all her guests.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi and Lala come over to help Brittany with her sexiness. In Brittany’s interview, she says for a wedding present, she’s giving Jax a boudoir photo book, and stumbles over the word boudoir. She gets in a bubble bath, and the girls make suggestions for poses. In Stassi’s interview, she says she would be in a giant tub filled with ranch. Who could resist that? Brittany asks Stassi how the weekend was, and Stassi says she felt calm the day after the funeral. The weekend in NOLA to celebrate her grandmother was awesome. It was a lovefest for her grandmother. She feels like she wants to pick up her life again. Katie texted her about some major sh*t. Lala says Kristen swore she and Carter are off, so she pulled Carter aside. Stassi asks if he’s going to the bachelorette party. In Brittany’s interview, she says she doesn’t remember inviting Carter. He might be Kristen’s plus one, but it will be weird for him to go to the party if they’re broken up. Lala says she invited James to the studio. She’s seen James when he’s great, and it’s sad that most people will probably never see him that way. In her interview, Lala says, James has been horrible to people. We flash back to that, and Lala says in her program they practice forgiveness. She has to do this for herself. Stassi tells Lala that she won’t say, I told you so, but she’ll think it in her head.

Brett goes to Villa Rosa to give Lisa a training session. He tells her squats are good for her core, and she says her core is fine. In her interview, Lisa says SUR and TomTom are revolving doors of young, beautiful people. Brett is a gorgeous hunk who knows how to take care of his body. She hopes he can help her out with hers. She asks how things are at SUR, and he says, Scheana is nice – too nice. In Brett’s interview, he says they made out for two seconds, and you’d have thought he gave her a six-carat ring. He needs to show her a dictionary, so she knows what friend means. He tells Lisa that he’s not going to shag Scheana. The ponies snort, and Lisa says, even they agree.

Peter tells Scheana that she’s training Charli, Brett, and Dayna. Maybe one of them will find a boyfriend today. In Scheana’s interview, she says, before yesterday, Dayna was the girl she walked past to get in her friend’s bar. Now Dayna is the girl screwing her boss and her leftovers. Um… is he still considered a leftover when he ghosted her? She says, is it Dayna’s job to polish every glass? No, but it happens to the best of them, including her. We flash back to when Stassi had Scheana doing the same thing. Scheana says, sorry not sorry. In Dayna’s interview, she says she finds it interesting that out of the two people Scheana is training, the only one not being trained is the one sleeping with her boss. Dayna asks if she’s done something to upset Scheana, and Scheana says she and Max are good friends, but they did have a thing. He said she was boy crazy, and it upset her. Maybe don’t sleep with staff. She knows Dayna and Max are hooking up. Dayna says she doesn’t want to make Scheana feel any kind of way, but Scheana insists she and Max are just friends. Dayna says Max says the same; she wants to make sure he’s not lying. Scheana says, do her, do him, have fun. In Dayna’s interview, she says she’s read the book and seen the movie. Scheana is trying to make her feel less powerful. Do what you need to, to get through the day.

In her interview, Lala tells us that her brother Easton lives in Salt Lake City, and is the chilliest person in the entire world. She wants to bring him into a real studio. Easton records some music, and Lala says he brought tears to her eyes. James arrives, and they hug. She says she’s been writing a lot since her dad passed. In James’s interview, he says he misses working with her. They have songs on the books that they haven’t recorded because they can’t get past their sh*t. She tells him that she wants to talk one on one, and the studio guys make themselves scarce. She asks, what’s up? and he says he’s been disconnected. She says she’s been lucky enough to see the great James Kennedy, but not everybody is so lucky. What they see is not so great. There have been moments that made people write him off, but for her, it’s harder. She believes in him. She embraces him as a good dude who did some effed up sh*t. James seems confused as to what he did, so she gives him some examples, like body shaming, calling her whore, and calling Brittany a hillbilly. How do they prevent this from happening again? He says he feels like he’s in a better head space, and thinks he’s growing up. If she considers it squashed, then he does. She says, they’re squashed. She’s unblocking him, and he can Instastalk her. He says, it’s not about that, and she says she’s going to Instastalk him to see if he’s posting bullsh*t.

Dayna and Max go out to eat, as do Danica, Ariana, and Scheana, but in a different restaurant. In Ariana’s interview, she says Danica was the assistant manager at SUR, but she’s currently suspended for shoving her bartender boyfriend when he suggested a threesome. She’s a typical SUR girl. Danica says Max is the SURiest person of all. He slept with both friends she brought there, and told them he owned part of TomTom. She hopes Dayna doesn’t think she’s special. Scheana says, Dayna is so naïve. She loves it.

Dayna tells Max that she feels like Scheana is giving her busy work, instead of actually training her. She wonders if Scheana and Max are cool, why does it matter? Max says Scheana is a cool chick, but she’s in a place where he isn’t. She’s older, and she’s stopped taking birth control. She wants to freeze her eggs. In Dayna’s interview, she says, telling a 27 year old that you’re off birth control, is like yelling fire in a crowded movie theater. She asks how long they were going out, and Max says, a month.

Scheana says, Max played her, and Ariana says, too bad. They were cute for a while. Scheana knows she acts stupid, buying guys presents. She got Max a watch for Thanksgiving. Who does that? She was thankful he made her feel special.

Max tells Dayna that he left his sunglasses at Schwartz’s place. When he went by to get them, Katie and Lala were there, and they think she’s amazing. We see a clip of them saying they like her. He says they want to go to her comedy show. Lala also asked about her mom, Dayna says her mom got brain cancer her first year in college. She was an absolute mess, and didn’t handle her death well. In Max’s interview, he says, Dayna has a lot of depth. Scheana wants to talk about photo shoots, or music, or emojis. It’s not enlightening. He says he wants to see Dayna’s show.

Ariana says she never thought she say it, but until the book comes out, she doesn’t know what she’s doing. In her interview, she says she hasn’t worked at SUR for two months. She was writing her cocktail book (which I got for Christmas), and buying a house. Now that those things are over, she feels like she’ll have to kiss Lisa’s ring.

Beau takes pictures of Stassi sitting at her desk. She says she’s sweating, and he says he believes in her.

Lala goes to Vanderpump Dogs, plays with the furbabies. It looks like loads of fun, and I’m jealous.

Brittany, Scheana, Ariana, and Katie try on tacky wedding dresses at a vintage clothing store. Brittany wants to have them for the bachelorette party. She says, it’s going to be fun. 

Stassi tells Beau that Brittany told her about the weekend, and said Kristen was the most miserable she’s seen her. Then she brought Carter to the party. In Stassi’s interview, she says the annoying thing is, all her friends get wrapped up in Kristen’s dysfunction. She and Beau vowed never to talk about them again. Beau says if Stassi hears Kristen venting, tell her, shut up. Stassi says they’ve all failed.

Lala tells Lisa about Carter, and how he and Kristen split up, then hook up. Lisa thinks Kristen is desperate for a good relationship, but doesn’t know if she’s capable. Lala says you have to be okay by yourself, and Kristen isn’t.

Brittany asks if Carter makes Kristen feel bad. Katie says relationships aren’t black and white, but friendships aren’t either. She’s sorry she yelled at Kristen. They hug, and she says Kristen does have support. She wants Kristen to be happy. Brittany says, Carter doesn’t need to come to Miami. It’s a good way to start a break.

Schwartz asks how Max is feeling, and Max says maybe he’ll bartend tonight. Tom comes in, and says he’s stopping by before he goes to SUR. In Tom’s interview, he says Lisa obviously fired him from SUR – we flash back to that – but he’s been there for girls nights, and he went behind the bar. He’s missed it. There’s something about leaving with a wad of cash; it’s instant gratification. He tells Max that Danica said he was telling people he was the owner of the bar. Max says he asked if they wanted to have a drink at his bar. It made him come off like a d-bag. In Max’s interview, he says he doesn’t need to lie to get women. It’s the most delusional thing he’s heard. He never thought he’d be running the best bar in Hollywood at his age. He had a girlfriend for over a year, but it fell through. When started working with Dayna, he was super into her. Tom says Dayna has a comedy show coming up, and Max asks if they want to go. Schwartz says she’s funny as a person, but people like that aren’t always funny on stage. We flash back to Tom doing some rapping… or something. Schwartz tells them, then you have to say they were pretty good. Tom tells him, say, you did it.

Brittany and Jax go to Kyle Chan’s jewelry design showroom. Brittany tries on her wedding ring. In Jax’s interview, he says, Brittany tends to raise the budget. She thinks he doesn’t notice, but he does. She thinks they’re Meghan Markle and whatever his name is. What is his name? Brittany says she talked to Kristen, and Jax says Kristen was fighting and arguing, but she got busted. Brittany says, one day, Kristen doesn’t want to be with Carter, and the next, she’s emotional and sad. Jax wonders what she’s sad about. They don’t sleep together, and Carter is mean to her. In Jax’s interview, he says Carter has a good scam going. Kristen pays for everything. He doesn’t want Kristen going to Miami; the girls will chirp in her ear. Jax says Carter was asking about room prices. Does he know he’s not invited? He guesses he’ll just talk to Carter himself.

Scheana quizzes Dayna on the special, and smirks when Dayna makes a slight mistake. She admits she’s been a bitch to Dayna, but something irks her. Either she vibes with someone or she doesn’t. Dayna asks if Scheana is sure it’s not because she’s with Max. In Dayna’s interview, she says, it’s the only logical explanation for Scheana being the sh*ttiest trainer ever. It’s because she’s going out with Max, and they like each other. Girlfriend’s threatened. Dayna reminds me somewhat of Ariana. She seems a little more mature in some ways.

Tom is behind the bar at SUR. Ariana comes in, and tells him that she’s feeling out of it. She heard a Justin Bieber song she’d never heard before, and started crying. In her interview, Ariana says she was upset about the way Lisa went into business with the Toms. We flash back to Ariana telling Lisa that she didn’t want people to think Tom and Schwartz were idiots. She says she hasn’t seen or spoken to Lisa since then.

In Brett’s interview, he says, Scheana comes on too strong. He wants to be friends, but she wants to find Mr. Right, and it’s not him. He tells Scheana that he cares about her as a friend, but doesn’t want it to be common knowledge that they’re hooking up when they’re not. She’s a loving person, and support is more important than a sexual fling. Scheana tells him, they’re on the same page, but in her interview, she says she doesn’t know if she believes it. He kissed her the first night; he must have felt something. Yeah, he felt that she was a bad kisser.

Ariana approaches Lisa at SUR, and sits with her. She says she wanted to talk about coming back once a week. Lisa asks, why? and Ariana say she doesn’t like not working. It bothers her to be sitting around. Lisa says she doesn’t understand. She knows there’s been tension between them, and Arian was taking sh*t. She’s mystified as to why want Ariana wants to work there. In Lisa’s interview, she says she understands. We all have opinions of our bosses, but Ariana doesn’t work there anymore. If she wants a favor, they’ll have to talk first. Lisa tells Ariana that it’s the highest compliment she can give, to ask someone to be in business with her. Ariana hurt her feelings. Ariana apologizes, and says she gets emotional when it has to do with Tom. She wants to repair their friendship. She wants Lisa to see her as someone who’s going to grow. Lisa says she wants Ariana to grow, and continue to be someone she’s proud of. Let her think about it. Moving on. Lisa asks how the new house is, and if Ariana has decorated. Ariana shakes her head, and says, when they first moved in, for a few days, she only got out of bed to pee. She felt like her life had been building up to this moment. It happened, and she realized she was still herself. Lisa says it sounds like she’s not happy with herself, and knows she’s not. In Ariana’s interview, she says she had life goals, and when she achieved them, she thought it would fix her. She wonders if she needs medication, and Lisa asks if she’s depressed. Ariana says she’s been depressed for a long time. In her interview, she says when achieving her goals didn’t change who she was, she felt the undercurrent of depression would probably always be a part of her. Lisa says when she lost her brother, nothing made sense. Ariana can rise to the challenge. If Lisa can do it, so can she. Ariana thanks her, and Lisa tells her not to doubt herself. Let others do that for her.

In Dayna’s interview, she says, every time she’s about to go on stage, she wants to vomit. Max being there makes her feel more naked than being naked with him. The whole crew is there, except for Katie and Stassi, who are renovating.

Stassi wants to make her and Beau’s place more feminine. She’s brought her favorite candle, so it smells like her.

The group toasts to Dayna. Max says he likes her, but he has a lot to communicate about his past. He thinks there’s tension between Dayna and Scheana because of him, and Lala tells him, Scheana thinks she peed on him, and he’s her territory. Ariana says Scheana doesn’t feel that way about the other girls Max has dated, but Lala says, he’s not still hooking up with them. Dayna takes the stage. In her interview, she says she loves comedy because she doesn’t have to censor herself. She took two jobs so she can focus on her real passion. Her mother was the first person to encourage her. She does a bit about people’s reactions to her mom being dead, and it’s accurate and funny. In Max’s interview, he says he was nervous. If he didn’t think she was funny and it was cringy, it could be a deal breaker. He’s a funny guy, and it’s cool to find a girl funnier than him.

Kristen is getting ready move. Katie says Kristen is scary with the packing tape. Jax arrives, and says packing sucks balls. I agree. He asks where Carter went, and Kristen says he took some things over to the house. In Jax’s interview, he says Kristen has a co-dependency problem. She can’t be alone. Carter doesn’t have a truck, just a two-seater BMW that Kristen pays for. What’s he bringing to the table?  Carter calls, saying he’s on his way back. He tells her about discussing some décor details with Stassi, and Kristen tells him don’t say we decided. She needs to be involved with all decisions. In Katie’s interview, she says Carter doesn’t sound like an ex-boyfriend; he sounds more like a husband. Jax asks Kristen if Carter is moving in with her, but she says, as of now, he’s not. She’s tired of talking about it. She feels bad about it, and Carter is being wonderful. Jax says, of course he is; he needs a place to live. Kristen says he doesn’t, but he’s hoping she’ll change her mind. Jax says, Stassi kicking him out was the best thing that could have happened to him. We flash back to piles of his clothes in the hallway, and him asking, why is this happening? Jax says they have to talk about the Miami thing, and Kristen says she’s not going to be responsible for that decision. Jax asks where she and Carter are, and she says they’re not dating. He says then he’s going to tell Carter that he can’t come. They’re going to have a chat, man to man. That should be interesting, since no men are involved.

Kristen says she’s not 100% sure that she and Carter should be together, but she’s not 100% sure they shouldn’t be. Jax says she’s vulnerable right now. If he was Carter, he would keep milking the cow because it’s a free cow. Katie ask if he means a free cow or free milk. The lightbulb comes on, and Jax says, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? In Kristen’s interview, she says, Jax is on his high horse. She gets it. Jax is almost a husband, but he’s still Jax Taylor. Kristen says maybe Carter is sad because he loves her, and their family is being torn apart. Jax says, get a job then. There are several places hiring. Carter comes in, and Kristen and Katie go into the kitchen under some pretense. Jax asks if he can talk to Carter for a second. They sit in another room, and Jax says they all get involved because Kristen makes everyone aware of her and Carter’s business. He thinks they should take a month’s break. Carter asks if Jax really thinks that’s a good idea, and Jax says he does. Just relax, and take a breather. Carter wonders how often they can see each other, living so far apart, and Jax says, that’s the point of a break. Clearly, Kristen can’t do it. Carter says it’s not what Kristen wants. He wants her to know he won’t be there; he’s always the one she calls. Jax tells him not to guilt her, but Carter says he’s not. He wants her to realize that he’s not going to be around. In Jax’s interview, he says, Carter knows Kristen is vulnerable, and easy to manipulate right now, and he’s taking advantage of the situation. Jax tells Carter, other people will help Kristen.

Katie says it seems like Kristen feels defeated, and Kristen says she’s terrified of everything .She questions buying the house every day, and wonders what she got herself into. Carter tells Jax that he and Kristen are on the right track, and Jax says if they’ve broken up, it’s not that great. He has to make a decision since Brittany is on his ass. Carter can’t come. Carter says he’s sorry to drag Jax through it. It has nothing to do with him. Jax says it’s all good. He’s sorry things didn’t work out.

In the other room, Kristen tells Katie, if one more person stresses her out, she’s going to lose her sh*t. Carter comes out, and hugs her. I make a gagging noise.

Next time, Scheana calls Max a f***boy, Lisa reads Stassi’s book out loud to Ken, and Stassi tells Tom off.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace and Benny watch breaking news of a shooting at the Cryer mansion. They’re still waiting for confirmation, but the newscaster says it’s an exclusive neighborhood, where they never hear of things like that happening. The neighbors are shocked. Benny says, I’ll be damned. Candace wonders what happened, and he says, someone got even. He just hopes Jim is dead. The SOB got what’s coming to him. He says, Candace knows what that means; she can keep the money if he’s dead. Wait… that’s why she’s being cool. She did this. She looks at him, and he says, don’t look at him like she wouldn’t. If she did, he wouldn’t care. She tells him, stop talking about it, but he says it’s another sign she should keep the money. She’ll never get another chance. She says she’s trying to do the right thing, and Benny laughs. He says, for momma? and Candace says, no; for herself. Benny says, if he’s dead, run. He wants to wake Hanna up, and Candace goes with him.

Benny tells Hanna, wake up, and she asks, what’s going on? He says, on the news, they said something bad went down at the Cryer house. She says, something like what? and he says, three people got shot. She sits up, and makes a call, getting Kathryn’s voicemail. She says, no answer, and Benny asks if she wants him to go over there. She says, it’s okay. He knows how that man is. Stay there. She’ll let him know what’s going on. Benny asks if Candace wants to go out. They have reason to celebrate; he’s dead. She says she’ll stay there.

David tells the detective, all he knows is, they came through door with guns. The detective asks if he knows anyone who would do this, and Jeffrey says, his mother. David says he’s a retired judge, and has a lot of enemies. Jeffrey says, and his mother. David says he just went through a bitter divorce, and the detective asks her name. Jeffrey tells the detective Veronica’s name, and where to find her. David asks if they’re done, and the detective says he has to talk to the coroner, but he’ll be back. Jeffrey asks David why he didn’t tell the detective about his mother. David says, she’s too smart, but he’s going to outfox a fox. Jeffrey’s mother is very clever. Jeffrey says, she tried to kill them, and David is calm. David says his calm is a dangerous place; Jeffrey knows that. Jeffrey says he’s tired of this, and David says he is too. The detective says he has more questions. There’s also been a shooting at the Cryer place. The whole family was shot. David asks if that’s been confirmed, and the detective says he doesn’t know who they were, just that there were three victims. Jeffrey says, he did it. He said he was going to do it. The detective asks, who? and Jeffrey says, Wyatt said he was going to shoot them. The detective asks, when? and Jeffrey says, earlier. David asks if he told anyone, but Jeffrey says, no. He thought Wyatt was just high. David says, dammit, and tells the detective, they’re done. He has to check on the Cryers. He and Jeffrey walk out, with the detective calling after them to come back.

Mitch knocks on the door, and Candace answers. He asks if she’s good, and she says she always figures it out. He says he has her back, and she says she knows. He asks if Benny is there, and she says she’ll get him. Mitch tells her, hold on. He wants to talk to her. She knows how much he loves her, right? She laughs, and says he always has. He says he doesn’t want anybody messing with her. If she needs anything, he knows how to get it done. She thanks him, and he says there are a lot of people who owe him favors. She says she’s good, and he hugs her. I like Mitch, and they’re very cute together. Benny comes in, and says, yo! What’s he doing? Mitch says he’s family, but Benny says, that’s a little too long. Mitch asks if Candace is sure she doesn’t want to come, but she says she’s good. Benny tells Mitch, strip club, and she tells them, have fun.

Derrick is restless. He picks up his phone, and makes a call. Candace answers Hanna’s phone, and he says, Hanna, don’t hang up. She says she’s not Hanna, and he asks if he can speak to her. Candace says, Derrick? and he says, yeah. She’s silent, and Derrick asks, who is this? She says, apparently his daughter. Hello? He says, hi, and she says, that’s all he has to say? He says, sorry. How much did Hanna  tell her? She says, not much. Fill her in. He thinks it’s something they should talk about in person, and she says he’s right. He says he can come by tomorrow, but she says Hanna doesn’t want him there. He asks if they can meet somewhere, and she says she’ll let him know. He thanks her, and says he’s… She tells him, don’t say he’s sorry. She’ll let him know. He says, that’s fair, and she says, no, it’s not, but it’s all she has right now. Derrick hangs up, and sighs.

Broderick relaxes on the couch, when there’s a knock at the door. He lets Rocky in, and Rocky asks whose place it is. Broderick says, Kathryn’s. Rocky says she’s going to burn him, but Broderick says it’s like the payday he’s been waiting for. Check out the view. Rocky says, it’s nice, but he doesn’t trust it. Broderick says he does. He asks if Rocky has heard from RK, but Rocky says, that kid is long gone. Broderick says they’re not getting deported? and Rocky says, they’re safe. No one is after them. No one called or showed up at the hotel. All they wanted was Candace, and they got her. He didn’t see what the news? They told her whole story; it was terrible. Broderick says, she had that coming, and Rocky guesses so. Rocky says Broderick he really is staying there. Damn. He should have pushed harder. Broderick says Rocky doesn’t have what he does. He asks if Rocky wants a drink. Rocky says, no, but Broderick should have few. Broderick asks, why? and Rocky says he hasn’t heard about the shooting at the house? It was three people, and there are only three who live there. Broderick asks if Kathryn is okay, and Rocky says, nobody knows. He’d better make himself those drinks. Enjoy the moment. It’s fleeting.

At the hospital, the reception nurse whose name I can never remember tells Madison there’s a gunshot victim coming in. Justin rings the bell, and Madison says, please check on him. She says, fine. Justin keeps pressing the button until he sees her. He asks where Madison is, and she says, he’s busy. If he wants anything, buzz the desk. Justin says, please get him, and she goes back to the desk. Madison says, what did he want? and she says, him. He says he’s not going in there, but she says Justin will just keep ringing the bell. He says, dammit, and she says, just go. He goes into Justin’s room, and says if Justin doesn’t need anything, he’s leaving. Justin says he’s going, and Madison says the doctor hasn’t discharged him, and even if he has, Justin is a prisoner. Justin says he made bail. His lawyer says he’s free to go, so he’s going home. Madison says he wouldn’t advise it. Justin has internal injuries. Justin says he doesn’t care. He needs his clothes. Madison guesses he can’t stop Justin, and tosses his clothes to him. Justin asks if Madison will give him a hand – please. Madison helps him get his T-shirt on, and Justin thanks him. Madison says he has to go, and Justin steps in front of him, blocking the way. Madison says he needs to move. Justin says, sorry. Creepy, wasn’t it? Madison says, yeah, and Justin says, but Madison works out. Madison says he does, and he’s going to bench press Justin’s ass across the room if he doesn’t move. Justin stands there a moment, says, sorry, and steps aside. Madison says Justin is a really good looking guy. A lot of people would like him if he wasn’t such a creep all the time. Get some therapy. Justin says, okay, and finishes getting dressed.

Oliver sits in a booth at a bar, and Landon slides into the seat across from him. He tells Oliver, go to hell. Oliver says, sorry, and Landon says he hates Oliver. Oliver says he didn’t do anything. Landon says he asked Oliver to look after things. He thought he could trust Oliver. Oliver says he can, and Landon says Oliver got him fired. Oliver says, Charles will get past it, and Landon says, it’s because of that whore, and Oliver asks if Landon had anything to do with it. He seems defensive. Landon says he had nothing to do with it, and Oliver says, then Charles really liked her. Landon says, don’t remind him, and Oliver asks if he’s still fired. Landon says, as far as he knows. It was one helluva gig. Oliver says he knows, and Landon says he hopes Charles isn’t considering giving Oliver the job. If he gets Chief-of-Staff, Landon will kill him. Oliver says Charles wouldn’t give him that. Landon says, he’d better not; Oliver is the worst. Oliver says, Landon trained him, and Landon says, leave him alone, and jets.

Veronica, looking hot AF in black leather, is on the phone, telling someone to come by her house tomorrow (Celine?). It’ll be fun. She makes a drink and sits. Her main thug, whose name I can’t seem  to catch, comes in and sits next to her, followed by a bunch of guys, all dressed in black, and most of them wearing masks. She asks what the hell they’re doing in her house. They surround her. Wow. It must be like 50 guys. She asks if this is supposed to intimidate her, and the thug says, that’s not what this is. She says, why all these people? and he says he needed to talk to her. She says he just did at the hospital, but he says he’s not sure she heard him. She says, so it’s like this? She doesn’t intimidate easily. He says he knows, and she says, it’s pissing her off. He says he wanted to come by to make sure he didn’t have to again. Has she thought about what he said? She says she has. He says, and…? She says she got all of them off. What makes them think she won’t send them back? He says he has so much sh*t on her, but she says, he doesn’t snitch. He says, she’s right; that’s why they’re here. He told her that she wouldn’t be happy. She says she was just on the phone, making arrangements with the funeral home. They’ll take care of everything. He says, what about the kids? and she says she’s going to start a college fund. They’re probably not going to college, but she’s starting it. He says it will make his momma happy. She says his crew smells like fried chicken and roaches; she’s getting hives. He makes a hand signal, and the guys saunter out. No one in the neighborhood noticed them? They climb over the backyard fence, and disappear. Veronica says, everything better be in its place. She sees a young man lingering, and says, he’s cute. If he’d take bath and do something with his hair, he can come back to see her. He leaves, and she says she can work with that. The thug gets up and walks out the back. She finishes her drink, and says, it smells like broke-ass in here now. She’s going to a hotel tonight. No way she’s sleeping there.

Landon pops back in the booth seat, and says, just leave him alone. Wait. It’s his table. Oliver should leave. Oliver says Landon needs to get himself together. Landon says he needs to get laid. Oliver says he can do that, and Landon says, ew! As if he’d ever. Just get lost. Oliver leaves, and Landon calls Candace. He tells her, don’t hang up. She asks who it is, and he says, Landon. She says, goodbye, and hangs up. He calls back, and she says, do not call again. He says, just listen. He thinks he can fix this. She says, there’s nothing to fix, and he says he can spin it. She says, knowing him, he probably did it. He says let him get to work on spinning. He promises by the time he’s done, most of the country will love her. She asks, why? and he says, he wants to help. She says she’s hanging up; he’s lying. He says Charles fired him. She says she knew it was about him. He says if he helps her, he can get his job back, and she says, again, she’s a pawn. He says she’s always a pawn, and she says she’s moving on with her life. She’s done with all of this. Goodbye. He says she was born for politics. She says she wasn’t, and he says, let him try. She says, no. She’s done. He tells her, be done. He’ll get to work spinning. He hangs up, and checks out a guy at another table. He sits down, and introduces himself. They guy’s name is Guy, and Landon asks if he’s that guy. Excuse him. He’s just having a bad night. Guy says, no problem, and Landon asks if he’s gay. Guy says, no, and Landon says, dammit, and asks if he’s curious. Guy says, not really, and Landon orders a shot of tequila for himself and Guy. Guy says, no thanks. He’s just trying to study. Does Landon mind? Landon says, sorry. He’s an a-hole, but Guy is handsome. Guy thanks him, and Landon sees two people kissing. He takes a picture, and Guy asks if Landon is taking pictures of him. Landon tells him, shh, and walks over to the couple’s table. We see it’s Scott, and he asks what Scott is doing in Detroit, and who is this? Scott says, it’s Melissa, his cousin, and Landon says, kissing cousins. Scott says they’re really close, and Landon says, come talk to him, adding that Melissa has great shoes.

They sit, and Landon says, so Scott is bringing his mistresses to Detroit, away from his wife. He took a photo. Scott says blackmail is illegal, and Landon says, no blackmail. He just wants to know what’s going on. Why is Scott there? Scott tells Landon, it’s like he said. It’s a great place to get away. Is Landon going to delete the photo? Landon says, no. He doesn’t know when he might need it. Scott asks what Landon wants to know, and Landon says he’ll let Scott know when he does. He asks if Scott being there has anything to do with Charles, but Scott says, no. Landon says, the AG doesn’t have him spying? but Scott swears he’s not. Landon says he doesn’t like Scott being there. Get out now or this will be all over the papers. Scott says Landon used to be nice, and Landon says he has no patience for nice right now. He puts his phone in his pocket, and waves goodbye to Scott.

Outside the Cryers, reporters clamor for an officer’s attention. Hanna pushes up to the front, and says she knows them. A reporter puts a mic in her face, and Hanna says, no comment. The officer asks what her name is, and Hanna says, Hanna Young. She works for the family, and she’s very close to Kathryn. The officer tells the reporters to get back, and lets Hanna through the police tape. She tells Hanna to follow her, and they walk to the house. Wyatt calls to Hanna from the car, and she goes over to see him. He says, he did it, and she says, what? He says he killed them, and smiles. Hanna backs away, and trots into the house.

Inside, Hanna sees the gurney with Jim on it. The officer tells her, this way, please, and heads upstairs. Hanna goes with her, and finds Kathryn in the bedroom, rocking back and forth. They hug, and Kathryn says, he tried to kill her. She asks where Jim is; they won’t let her see him. Hanna doesn’t know, and Kathryn says, he shot them. Hanna asks, what happened? and Kathryn says she heard a gunshot. She went downstairs, and he’d shot Jim; he was on the floor. She ran upstairs, he shot at her, and she fell into the tub, and… She just kept coming up for air until she heard the police. Hanna asks if she’s shot, and Kathryn says, no. He shot above her. How could he do this? They loved him. Hanna says she’s sorry, and Kathryn says, she loved him. He’s the son she bore, and he did this. Hanna says she’s so sorry. Kathryn says she needs to check on Jim, and Hanna tells her to wait there. She’ll find out what’s going on. Kathryn says she can’t believe he actually did it.

Hanna goes back downstairs, and George introduces himself. She asks how Mr. Cryer is, but he says they don’t know. Jim was just taken to the hospital. He asks if Hanna still works for the family, and she says she does. He ask if there was a hostility in the house, but she says he’ll have to ask them that. He says she’s protective, but she says she’s just not the person to talk to. He asks how her son is, and she says, fine. He says they found a notepad with her son’s name on it, the date, and get it done. She asks what that means, and he says he was hoping she’d know. She says she doesn’t, and he asks if she thinks her son would. She says she doesn’t know, and he says, the date looks specific. Anything she could tell him would help. She says, sorry, she doesn’t know, and goes back upstairs

Kathryn asks how Jim is, and Hanna says, they took him to the hospital. She knows it’s not the right time, but she has to ask Kathryn something. Benny’s name was on a pad in Jim’s office. Does she know what that’s about? Kathryn says, no, and Hanna says, Candace was giving back the money. Kathryn says she can’t think about that now. Hanna says she’s sorry; it just upset her. Kathryn says, she’s a little upset. Her son just tried to kill her. She’s still out of sorts. She says, Jim isn’t after Benny.

George comes in, and asks if Kathryn is okay. Kathryn asks if she looks okay, and he asks if she’s not hurt in any way. She says, not that she cane see, and asks how Jim is. He says he doesn’t know. Is she sure she’s not hurt? She doesn’t need a doctor? She tells him, she said she was fine, and he says, good enough. Go ahead and arrest her. Kathryn says, for what? She didn’t do this. He says, it’s not about this. She’s being charged with the murder of Jennifer Sallison. Kathryn says she did nothing to that woman, and George says, take her. Kathryn tells Hanna, call Marty and have him meet her. Hanna says she will, as the cops take Kathryn away.

Next time, Kathryn tells Wyatt that he’s going to live to regret it, Hanna asks George if her son is in danger, Landon wants Scott to come clean, and Derrick asks Veronica what she wants.

🌅 Close the Blinds…

Well, I’d say this was quite enough for one evening. Especially since it’s morning.

January 7, 2020 – Valentin Runs Into Anna, New Faces Old Feuds, Two Aftermaths & Wednesday Reasons


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny finds Carly in the kitchen, and says she’s up late. She says Jax called. Nikolas apparently made quite an entrance, interrupting the wedding by walking in with Ava in his arms. Valentin had shoved her off the parapet, but she’s okay. She landed on her feet. Everything in the Cassadine estate now belongs to Nikolas, and Jax thinks Valentin will fight it, but right now he’s distracted. Instead of getting married to Nina, Nina left him.   

Nina wonders where everyone went, but Jax isn’t sure. He hands her a scotch, saying it’s appropriate for the occasion. Nina tells him, revenge tastes worse than he said it would.

Walking in Rice Plaza, Anna tells Finn to relax. Violet is asleep, and can’t be in better hands than with his brother and Willow. He asks if she’s spent time with his brother. He didn’t expect Chase to say yes to babysitting. Anna says, he’s a cop. What could go wrong? It gave them a chance to take a walk at midnight, unless he’d rather do something else. He says he’d rather be with her, and she says, good answer. They kiss.

Maxie tells Valentin, he’s not going anywhere. Not with Charlotte. He says he’ll explain everything, and Lulu knows it’s his week. Peter says he’s not taking Charlotte anywhere.

Ava walks in to where Nikolas is, and says she’s so sorry to cut this lovely reunion short, but it’s time. Doc asks, time for what? and Ava says Nikolas hasn’t told them the happy news? She and Nikolas are getting married tonight. Laura says, getting married? and Nikolas says, yes. Lulu says, to her? and Ava says, excuse me? Lulu says, no way. She doesn’t buy it. Ava tells her, suit herself. They’re still getting married, aren’t they?

Nina tells Jax, Valentin is probably telling Charlotte the wedding is off again. Impressive; breaking Charlotte’s heart for the umpteenth time. She says she should have listened to him, and cut her losses, but she wanted maximum damage. Jax says, Valentin created the situation. Jordan and Curtis come in, and Jordan asks where Valentin is. Nina says she doesn’t know, and Curtis says a warrant has been called in for him. Jordan says he’ll be charged with fraud, tampering with a corpse, and attempted murder if Ava is telling the truth. Curtis says, it is what Nina wanted, isn’t it?

Carly tells Sonny, it’s hard to believe Nikolas and Jax pulled their plan off. Sonny is sure Lulu and Laura are glad to have him back, and Spencer will feel the same way. Carly says they’re probably in shock. When it wears off, they’ll feel vindicated. Sonny says everyone is accounted for except them. What comes next?

Curtis asks if Nina doesn’t think Valentin deserves payback after what he put her through. Nina says she wanted him to own up and tell the truth; give her a reason to stay, but he didn’t do that. Curtis wishes for her sake that he would have. Jordan is sure she was invited to make sure Valentin faces justice, and he will. She did the right thing.

Anna and Finn sit on a bench. She asks if he wants to skate; she heard he’s graceful. He says, her first, but she says, no. She’s not so graceful. They should bring Violet; she would love it. Finn asks if she thinks it’s safe, and Anna says it helps coordination and confidence. Finn says, and bleeding. Mac and Felicia approach, and Felicia asks how Violet is. Finn says, she’s sleeping, and Anna says, she’s with Chase and Willow. She’s totally fine, and it gave them a chance to go for a walk. Felicia says, great minds, and Anna says she’s been trying to persuade Violet’s over-protective father to bring her there. Felicia thinks it’s a good idea, and asks if Finn has pictures. He says, only about 300 of them. While they look at Finn’s phone, Mac tells Anna, about the file she requested on David Black… and she says she knows she’s held on to it for too long, but he says keep as long as she likes. The sooner find out who wanted Franco and Andre dead, the better.

Peter suggests Valentin talk to a lawyer. Valentin tells Charlotte, he knows it’s confusing, but there are problems he has to take care of. Charlotte asks if he’s going to make it okay, and he says, better than okay. Everyone wants what’s best for her. She asks what’s going to happen, and Valentin asks Maxie to take her somewhere else. Maxie takes her out of the room, and Peter says, let’s hear it. Valentin says, what’s left to say? Just this. He punches Peter, who drops to the floor, and Valentin runs out. He tells Maxie that Peter wants to talk to her in private. Maxie tells Charlotte, don’t move, and goes back in. Valentin tells Charlotte, move, and they jet. Maxie says, oh my God, and goes to Peter.

Nina tells Curtis and Jordan, she knows it makes her a coward, but she doesn’t want to stay and find out what happens next. Jordan says they’ll need her statement, and Nina says to call her office. She’ll do it tomorrow. Curtis says he’ll go with her, but she says she wants to be alone. She doesn’t need anyone to hold her hand. She just wants out of the house now. She leaves, and Jax says he’s got this.

Nikolas says he knows this must come as a shock. Lulu says, that’s an understatement, and he says, Ava is telling the truth. Ava says, they’re a betrothed. Lulu says Ava is blackmailing him. They can get him out of it. Ava says not everyone is as embittered about marriage as Lulu. The heart wants what the heart wants. Doc asks Ava if she’s considered her state of mind for making a lifelong commitment. She just checked herself out of Shadybrook. Ava says she thinks he’ll find she’s perfectly sane, and Doc says Laura told him that she checked herself in because she was convinced she was seeing ghosts, specifically Nikolas. He assumes Nikolas was manipulating her, and made her doubt her own sanity. Ava asks what his point is, and Doc says, why marry a man who treats her that way? Ava tells him, what can she say. She’s been powerless to resist him since they fell love years ago. Laura says she doesn’t think it’s about love. Ava had Helena’s portrait for weeks, and found the codicil. Now she’s holding it over his head. Lulu says, in exchange for a tiny scrap of paper, Nikolas is going to spend his life with Ava. Ava says, he could do worse. Many marriages are founded on a lot less. Laura says she knows Ava has been through hell, and she tried to help. Ava says she knows that, and appreciates it. Laura asks if Nikolas has learned nothing from her. Nikolas says he understands Laura doesn’t approve, and Laura laughs. She says he could have come home anytime. Spencer could have had a father, but instead, Nikolas chose to let them suffer, and come home when he could pull off a cynical power grab. Ava **since conn lu go one day te don’t get marr ** Nikolas says, in time, he hopes she realizes it’s a good match, and gives her blessing. Ava asks her, please stay for the ceremony.

Carly tells Sonny, they need to get past this. They have more important things to focus on. Gladys comes in, and says she’s not the only one who loves to raid the fridge at night. It must run in the family.

Felicia tells Finn, fair warning. Anna and Mac could be talking shop. She thinks pictures of Violet are more interesting. Mac asks if Anna found anything promising, and she says she’s been going over the file, and cross-checking with the WSB files, but no luck. She has nothing actionable. He says, it’s disappointing, but tells her to keep at it. They need to know who sent Black after Franco and Andre. Anna says she won’t be satisfied until she gets all the answers.

Jordan tells Curtis, now comes the hard part. She needs to bring Valentin in to answer some questions. He says he’ll come with her.

Nikolas asks Laura and Lulu to stay for the wedding. Lulu says she doesn’t know whether to tear him away from Ava, or let Ava have him. He says it’s his choice, but even if she doesn’t agree with it, he hopes she wishes him well. Lulu says, of course (🍷) she wishes him well, just not with Ava. She can’t stand by while he makes another bad choice. She’s going to check on Charlotte. Nikolas says Laura’s approval would mean a lot. Laura says what she would be endorsing is a quid pro quo. He gets his inheritance, and Ava gets to be princess of the manor. Ava says, it’s not entirely transactional. They grew fond of each other before their blossoming romance was cut tragically short. Laura says Nikolas could have come back, but he forgot about her too. Ava says she’s forgiven him, and Laura says, for a price. Ava says she doesn’t think about regrets, but puts them in the past. With or without Laura’s blessing, they’re becoming Mr. and Mrs. Nikolas Cassadine.

Maxie asks Peter, what happened? and he says, Valentin happened. Lulu runs in, and asks, where’s Charlotte? Maxie says Valentin took her. Peter says he tried to stop Valentin, but he wasn’t so receptive. Lulu says, Valentin has no right, and Peter says he told them it was his week. Lulu says Valentin tried to kill Ava. **arr that now kind** She goes to look for Charlotte, and Maxie says they should go after her, but Peter thinks they should just go home. There’s nothing more they can do. It’s an ugly family fight that will only get worse, and has nothing to do with them. Either Jordan will charge Valentin with kidnapping or not. Maxie says, Valentin assaulted him, and Peter says, Valentin dug a deep hole, and he doesn’t want to add more pressure. Please, let’s go home. Maxie says, okay.

Charlotte asks Valentin where they’re going. Valentin says, the man Charlotte saw carry Ava in, she knew him, didn’t she? She says he’s her bodyguard, but Valentin says, he’s not. She tells Valentin that he said Valentin hired him, and Valentin says he’s sure he did. It’s complicated grown-up stuff, and he’ll tell her about it, but he needs to get her somewhere safe. Then he’ll take care of everything. He holds out his hand, and opens the secret door. She asks if she can take Nina’s bouquet, and Valentin says, of course (🍷). They go through secret door, and one blossom drops.

Carly says Gladys keeps forgetting she’s not family. Gladys says, not to Carly, but she’s Mike’s family. Carly says, that’s all well and good, but the holidays are over. Gio pops in, and asks for a word with Sonny. They go out on the terrace, and Gio says he got a call. One of their trucks has been hijacked.

Mac tells Anna, good luck with her research. Keep him in the loop. Mac and Felicia go to get hot cocoa, and Finn tells Anna, nothing actionable? Peter and the gunman, working at the same company at the same time, and then Peter shoots him? Anna says, just because they overlapped, that doesn’t mean they knew each other. Even if they did, Peter can’t be convicted for working for his father. Finn says he understands Anna wants to give Peter the benefit of the doubt, but he wonders if Peter is betting on that too.

Nina sits at the café, and Jax brings her coffee. Nina says she has to figure out where to stay, and Jax says, while the coffee was being made, he took the liberty of booking a suite for her at the MetroCourt. They can have Maxie go to Windymere and pack a bag for her. She says the last thing she’s worried about is her luggage. She can’t get over how perfectly Jax predicted how it would go. Jax says he didn’t predict Ava getting pushed off the terrace. Nina wonders if Nikolas had come in five minute later, what would have happened. She didn’t know what she was going to do, confront or marry Valentin, but she does know she gave him one last chance to tell the truth. He didn’t take it. Jax says, maybe it was a blessing in disguise, but Nina says, it doesn’t feel that way.

Lulu tears through Windymere, and goes into the living room where the ceremony was supposed to take place. She calls Charlotte’s name, and says, dammit. She makes a call to the PCPD, and says she needs to be put in touch with Commissioner Ashford, but then says, never mind. She’s here. She tells Jordan and Curtis that Valentin took Charlotte. She went to check on Charlotte, and Maxie and Peter said he took her. She wants him charged with kidnapping. Jordan says she has warrant enough to bring him in already, and Curtis says the harbor patrol is monitoring traffic; they’re not going anywhere. Lulu sees the rose on the floor, and asks, what happened to Nina’s bouquet? Charlotte must have taken it. She looks at the door, and says, they’re in the tunnel.

Valentin cuts through Rice Plaza with Charlotte. She’s cold, and wants a hot cocoa. He says they can’t get one right now, but promises it will be warm in the car. He literally runs into Anna, who asks what they’re doing there. She thought he was getting married.

Gladys asks Carly if Sonny’s workers usually drop by at odd hours. Carly wonders why she’s asking, and Gladys says, it seems strange. It’s a funny time to be doing business.

Sonny asks Gio where the truck is, and he says, the tracking shows it as being stationery. He can have it checked out, but Sonny says he can stand to lose a truck of coffee. What he can’t do, is engage before he’s ready. Gio asks what if the cops get involved, and Sonny says, they’ll impound the truck, but it will let them know he’s a legitimate businessman. Gio asks if there’s anything else, and Sonny says, on his way out, ask the guards to tighten security. They can’t be too cautious. He goes back inside.

Gladys asks Sonny if everything is okay, and he says there was a problem at the warehouse. She says, this late? Who knew Columbian roast was such an exciting business. Sonny says what kind of business it is, is his, not hers. Understood?

Ava does her makeup, and Laura asks if she can come in. Ava says, please do. She’s sure seeing Nikolas was quite a shock. Ava wants Laura to know, there’s no way she could tell her, and not risk alerting Valentin. Laura says, please. She’s still processing everything. Her son, who was given up for dead, is alive. Thank God, but she’s confused, and she’s angry. How long did ava know that? How long had he planned it?

Nikolas wanders around the living room, and Doc asks if he’s interrupting. Nikolas says he’s just taking it all in. It’s all his now. Doc says, including the ghosts. Nikolas is sure Doc is upset with him too, and Doc says he doesn’t like to see Laura, or any of Nikolas’s family members, in pain. Nikolas says he regrets the extreme measures he needed to stay under the radar, but it was necessary. He hasn’t had a chance to tell Doc how grateful he is that Doc made his mother happy. Doc says, Laura’s happiness always has a touch of melancholy. So does Spencer’s. Nikolas asks how Spencer is doing, and Doc says, he’s growing up fast. He’s changed a lot. Nikolas asks if Spencer likes France, and Doc says, as much as he likes any place. Spencer spent three years grieving him. He needs to do the right thing, and call his son.

Nina asks Jax how much he knows about Nikolas. He says, more than he’d like to, but probably not as much as he should. She asks him to explain, and he says he always thought Nikolas was the good Cassadine, until Nikolas had an affair with his then-wife Courtney. Nina says, Spencer’s mother. He says after that, he had little use for Nikolas. He admits Nikolas was a good father, until he let Spencer believe he’d been dead three years. Nina asks, why help him? and Jax says, because of Spencer. He wanted to make sure Spencer’s inheritance was secure, despite his dislike for Spencer’s father. What happened tonight did nothing to reassure him. He has no sympathy for Valentin, but that doesn’t mean good triumphed. Nikolas won, but he and Valentin aren’t that far apart. Nina says, Valentin isn’t a Cassadine after all, and Jax asks if she’d like more advice. She says, maybe this time, she’ll take it, and he says, leave them in their own misery. She has better things to look forward to. She says she’s looking forward to taking a hot bath, going to bed, and sleeping for a week. He says, good thing he booked the suite. He gets up, holds out his hand, and says, shall we?

Valentin tells Anna, there’s been an unfortunate change in plans. Anna says, the wedding didn’t happen? and he says it didn’t. They’re taking a break, and want to find someplace quiet to regroup. It’s cold and late, and Charlotte is tired. They want to get someplace warm where they can hunker down. Anna doesn’t blame them, but she’s curious. Why is he out at midnight with Charlotte when they could be at Windymere?

Laura tells Ava, it hurts to say this, but she’s worried about Nikolas in a whole new way. The ghost Ava saw in Shadybrook wasn’t a ghost; it was Nikolas. He took advantage of Ava’s grief and tried to frighten her. Why? It was because he wanted to find out the location of Helena’s portrait. Ava just looks at her, and Laura says, oh my God; it is. She never thought she’d say it out loud, but her son is acting like a Cassadine. His selfishness, his willingness to lie and manipulate. He used her weakened state. Why does she want to go into a marriage like that? Ava says, when the shock passes, Laura will see that she and Nikolas are a good match. Laura says that’s what she’s afraid of. She won’t stay. She’s not going to pretend the marriage has her blessing, but wants Ava to know she thinks they’re both making a mistake. They’ll both regret it, sooner rather than later. She walks out.

Gladys tells Sonny, she gets it. His business is his own, and she’ll stay out of it. Carly says, while they’re on the subject of boundaries, their family is a gravy train that Gladys can attach herself to. Gladys says she knows that, and Carly says she’s a guest at Mike’s invitation. For his sake, they let her stay for the holidays, but don’t take advantage. Is she clear? Gladys says she is, and Sonny tells Gladys, goodnight. Gladys leaves, and Sonny guesses he told her. Carly guesses he did.

Nikolas gives Doc’s phone back to him. Laura comes in, and asks, what’s going on? Doc says Nikolas tried to call Spencer, and Nikolas says, he didn’t answer. He must be sleeping. Laura says, it’s probably for the best. She’s not sure Nikolas is the best one to tell Spencer. Maybe it would be better coming from her. She tells Doc, she’s overwhelmed, and doesn’t trust her judgement, and asks him to take her home. Doc says there’s nothing better he’d like to do, and Nikolas asks them to stay for the wedding. Laura says she’s going to tell him what she just told Ava. He’s making a mistake. It’s something he’s going to regret, and she can’t be part of that.

Valentin tells Anna that he’d rather not talk about it; it’s personal. There’s a lot of tension at Windymere, and it’s no place for Charlotte. Lulu sees them, and says, thank God. Jordan and Curtis are behind her, and Valentin says, it’s his week. He has every right to have Charlotte. Jordan says she’s sure he doesn’t want her to go into detail in front of Charlotte. He appreciates her courtesy, but says he’s keeping Charlotte, and they’re leaving. Lulu can contact him through his lawyer. Lulu tells him to let Charlotte come with her, and Charlotte says, it’s okay. She’ll call Lulu. Lulu says Charlotte doesn’t understand, and tells her to come with mom right now. Nina and Jax show up, but Mac tells them to stay back. There’s a warrant out for Valentin. Nina tells him not to jump to conclusions.  It doesn’t look like Valentin is resisting. Anna tells Valentin to listen to her. She has no doubt he can deal with difficulties that arise, but they can both agree Charlotte this escalates. Then he can change his tactic, and figure out a way to win. It’s his fight. Use it on his daughter’s behalf. Valentin looks at Nina.

Val kneels down, and asks if Charlotte trusts him. She says she always trusts him, and he tells her, no matter what anyone says, he loves her. She says she knows; they just made a mistake. He says, they did. They chose sides without all the information, and saw what they wanted to see. He has to clear himself all over again; that’s the tricky part. He thinks Charlotte better go with her mom. She wants to go with him, but he says, it’s better this way. She says she loves him, and he picks her up and hugs her, saying he loves her too. He puts her down, and kisses the top of her head. He tells her, go, and Lulu says she’s glad Charlotte is okay. Charlotte says, they just made a mistake. Papa will clear it up. Lulu suggests they get home. Valentin and Nina look sadly at each other.

Wearing a sparkly, Malibu feather trimmed gown, Ava goes into the living room, and sees Nikolas waiting.

Carly hugs Sonny.

In the fastest wedding ceremony ever, the officiant pronounces Ava and Nikolas, man and wife. He says Nikolas may now kiss the bride, and he does.

Jordan tells Valentin, he’s under arrest, and he asks what the charges are. She says, fraud, and he says he assumes they arrested Nikolas on their way over. Nikolas is a fugitive who faked his own murder. He framed an innocent man, and left the country on a phony passport. All felonies. An officer cuffs him, and he says he sees there’s one set of legal standards for him, and another for Nikolas. Because he’s the mayor’s son? She needs to consult the Constitution; the 14th Amendment, equal protection. Violating it is a big deal. He can forgive that, except for what they’ve done to his daughter. He’s led away, while Jordan reads his rights. Curtis puts a hand on Nina’s shoulder as he goes past. Nina tells Jax, before they go to the MetroCourt, she wants to stop by the liquor store and buy a bottle of scotch.

Why does it have to be scotch? I hate even the smell of scotch, and every time they say it, I can smell it.

Tomorrow, Sonny has a surprise for Gladys, Lulu says Valentin is never getting near Charlotte again, and Carly tells Alexis and Sam about Nikolas being alive.

Vanderpump Rules

I hate my computer. You get what you pay for, and I did. It decides to update with no warning, just as Vanderpump Rules is coming on, so I handwrite the first paragraph.

Lisa doesn’t know where to start. We see clips of turmoil among the cast members, interspersed with her talking. She says, this was years of friendship, that she thought would last forever. Suddenly, everything kind of turned upside down. It’s great to see new faces, but their problems seem just as complicated as their predecessors’. Okay, let’s get started.

At TomTom, manager Max tells hostess Dayna, the Toms are coming in, and so is Lisa. Tom and Schwartz arrive, and Tom tells Dayna that friends are coming in for a bachelorette party, but he told them not to bring in any inflatable penises. She says he’d be surprised how many she sees on a regular basis. In Tom’s interview, he says it’s been a year, and it feels good to walk into TomTom and know he’s running it. Except if Lisa is there; then she’s running it. In Schwartz’s interview, he says they’ve hired the best staff on the planet. Dayna is so good, Lisa is poaching her for SUR. And Max is the glue that holds everything together. Schwartz brings in some super tiny shot glasses. He says he still sees himself getting wasted.

Scheana shows new server Brett around Sur. She tells him the girls are catty, and will probably try to hook up with him. She’s divorced – she doesn’t know if he knows that – but no big deal; it doesn’t define her. Lisa is particular; know how she likes her tea. Lisa pulls up. Raquel greets her, and Lisa asks if she’s having fun. Raquel says her pageant training prepared her to work there. She greets the guests with confidence and a big smile. In Lisa’s interview, she says Raquel has requested to work there so many times. She wasn’t sure she wanted to get involved in the complicated dynamic, because she closed the door on James. She asks how James feels about Raquel being there when he’s not. Raquel says it’s a trigger for him, and he looks like he’s about to cry when she leaves. In her interview, she says it’s like when you’re packing for a road trip, and your puppy jumps in the suitcase.

Scheana introduces Brett to Jax. In her interview, Scheana says, SUR has changed dramatically. Katie, Ariana, Brittany, and Lala don’t work there anymore. In Jax’s interview, he says, that just leaves him. Someone has to pay for the wedding. He asks if Scheana and Brett are dating already, and Scheana says they just met this weekend. In Brett’s interview, he says, a few nights ago, he was out at a bar, and Scheana invited some friends back to her house to play Scattergories. The next thing he knew, she kissed him. It wasn’t what he thought it would be; nothing against her. The producer asks if he’s saying she’s not a good kisser, and he says, that’s what he’s saying. In Scheana’s interview, she says she hasn’t talked to Adam in a couple of months. She briefly dated Max, but he ghosted her. She even bought him an Apple watch to show how much she cared, but he couldn’t even text her one it. I have no words. Jax suggests Brett not get involved with the girls. They tend to get sleazy around twelve o’clock. Brett says he’ll be sure to be there.

We find out that Dayna and Max are kind of a thing. In her interview, Dayna says he stayed over last night. She knows he’s her boss, and probably doesn’t want to be put on blast at work, but his underwear is on the floor at her house. She says she’s going to SUR, and he warns her that he’s dated some of the girls from there. She asks if that means she shouldn’t wear a T-shirt that says, I screwed Max, how about you? He says they should probably keep it on the DL, and she tells him, go manage something already.

Scheana asks Jax how the wedding planning is going, and Jax says, it’s almost done. He had a get together for the people who couldn’t come to his bachelor party in Miami. He thought Tom would come, but he hasn’t returned Jax’s texts. Are they children? In Jax’s interview, he says he hasn’t heard from Tom in weeks. He knows Tom is working on his house, but he can keep in touch. He’s decided to take the pressure off Tom, and make Schwartz his best man.

In Tom’s interview, he says Jax had a pre-bachelor party – which he wants us to know, is not a thing. Jax knew he couldn’t make it. He hadn’t seen his family in a long time. Because he didn’t cancel a flight to see his mom on Mother’s Day to go to a pre-bachelor party, he was demoted from best man to groomsman. Jax tells Scheana that Tom drifted, and it’s not about him, but she says, it’s always about him.

Beau and Stassi go to SUR for dinner. Beau asks if she’s doing okay, and she says that she feels she has to compartmentalize. She can’t live in darkness 24/7. In Stassi’s interview, she says, life is good. Her book is a best seller, and she’s got Beau, but she got a call that her grandmother passed away. It’s sobering. We see a clip of her and her grandmother Rosemary. She says her grandmother is like what she wants to be – if she was less bitchy. Lisa stops by their table, and tells Beau that she thinks the boys want to see him. Beau leaves, and she sits. She says she’s so sorry. Stassi doesn’t know how to feel. People are congratulating her, and saying they’re proud of her book. Lisa tells Stassi that she’s her grandmother’s legacy. In Lisa’s interview, she says it makes her proud that Stassi is a New York Times best-selling author, even if the name of her book is… She struggles, but doesn’t quite get it right, and says, whatever it’s called. (It’s Next Level Basic.) She says, Stassi is a best-selling bitch. She asks how Stassi’s best friend is, and Stassi says she’s been talking to Kristen, but she’s frustrated. The way Kristen tells it, she’s not being supported, but she’s telling everyone she and Carter have broken up, and they still live together and hang out every day. She feels like Kristen is lying to her. In Stassi’s interview, she says her relationship with Kristen has seen its fair share of ups and downs, but this feels different. We flash back to Kristen’s meltdown at the reunion. Stassi tells Lisa that she doesn’t know if the person she’s hopefully growing into can be friends with a person who isn’t growing at all. Lisa says lying is her Achille’s heel, and Stassi says she’s not playing this game.

Stassi tells Beau that she’s writing her grandmother’s eulogy. When she dies, she wants a haunted house theme, and the tray passers will look like her. In Beau’s interview, he says, Stassi makes everything fun. Stassi tells him that she wants to be taxidermized, so everyone can take selfies. She wants them to be able to move her body, so the selfies can be taken from their good sides. In his interview, Beau says, sometimes she creeps him out, but he just smiles. She says they’ll be missing Katie and Schwartz’s house warming, but at least she’s seen their house. She thinks it’s funny how everything is identical with the three couples’ houses. We see pictures of Schwartz and Katie’s, Jax and Brittany’s, and Tom and Ariana’s houses, and she’s right. She wonders why no one has said it’s weird that they all have the same house.

Jax mows the lawn, and Brittany wonders why it’s so hard to put things together, as she struggles with something on the porch. At Tom and Ariana’s, Tom wants to make one of the rooms a breakdance studio. Schwartz tells Katie that their post-married life is so blissful and indulgent. They eat what they want and travel. He thinks it’s time to bring the sexy back.

In his interview, Tom says, it was the great West Hollywood migration. In Ariana’s interview, she says, some people are leaders, and some are followers. Now they know who’s who. She asks if Tom has been to Jax and Brittany’s, and Tom says Jax seemed annoyed at everything he said. Jax immediately tried to one-up him, saying, it’s good for you guys, but he needs more, and a better school zone. In Tom’s interview, he says the house is a big deal to him. It’s their way of showing a commitment. They’re not getting married, or having kids. Can’t he have this one thing without Jax sh*tting on it? Ariana says Jax can’t help himself.

Jax tells Brittany that he and Tom don’t have much in common anymore. He’s getting married next month, and it’s a big effing deal. Brittany wishes Tom would reach out and see how Jax is doing. In her interview, she says Jax and Tom have been through so much. We flash back to that, and she says, they’ve done sh*t to each other, but at the end of the day, they make it through and are still best friends. One fight shouldn’t ruin everything. Jax says he needs someone else to be best man along with Schwartz. He doesn’t trust Schwartz alone.

Schwartz tells Katie that being best man is a lot of responsibility. He can’t do it by himself. He needs Tom with him. Katie suggests he talk to Tom. She says they’re not calling their party a house warming; it’s a house chilling – comfy chic. Schwartz wonders if she invited Carter, and she says he and Kristen still live together. She guesses they’re just calling themselves broken up. Schwartz thinks they should leave it up to Kristen.

Stassi says she loves Kristen’s house, and Beau says, it’s perfect. Stassi says, for Kristen, or Kristen and Carter? She has to go over there to see Kristen, and hopes they can get to an honest place. If Kristen is trying to make it work with Carter, tell her the truth. The only way to lose her as a friend is to keep lying to her.

Lala visits Lisa at Villa Rosa. Lisa tells Lala that she looks like a slob and Lala looks like a princess. Lala says Lisa has never been a slob in her life, and I agree. Lala says she’s missed Lisa, and Lisa says she’s been in Vegas. In Lisa’s interview, she says she and Ken were exhausted from opening TomTom, but then Caesar’s came along, and she created the Vanderpump Cocktail Garden. She wanted to make a low key entrance – we see a procession, with Lisa being carried in on a palanquin – but Caesar’s had other ideas. Schnookie starts to hump Lisa’s back, and Lisa says this is what happens when she gives her attention to anyone else. Lala asks if they’re not fixed, but Lisa says that doesn’t matter. Yep. You’d think it would, but no. Lala says, they’re still horny, like Randal. She tells Lisa that she’s seven months sober. In Lala’s interview, she says, it’s the biggest gift she’s given herself. She’s a happy person, and doesn’t attack people. We flash back to several of her altercations with the others. She says it’s another version of herself she never wants to go back to. Lisa is glad she turned the corner. Lala says part of it is making amends, so she reached out to James. She thinks he feels like she left him behind, but misses him as a friend. Lisa says Lala learned the hard way that her behavior wasn’t acceptable, but James hasn’t had that understanding. He needs to get sober. Lala says she doesn’t like to push her sobriety on other people, or give unsolicited advice. She doesn’t know who he is. Anyone who dealt with her was a saint, and Lisa took her into the restaurant, and did her a solid. It meant a lot. Lisa says she always believed in Lala, and Lala says she appreciates that. Lisa says she’d like to see more of Lala. What would she like to do? Lala says she’s been working with the Humane Society, and asks what Vanderpump Dogs needs. Lisa says they rely on volunteers. In her interview, Lisa says, Lala was a great hostess, but she’s in a different place in life now. She can’t expect Lala to get on a private jet to seat people, but she has an innate love for their four-legged furry friends. Lala says she’ll clean up dog sh*t, and Lisa says they have it in the vending machines.

Stassi visits Kristen, who’s packing. In her interview, Stassi says, Kristen knows how to make her outward appearance show what she’s feeling and going through. When Stassi gets upset, she likes to look presentable. Kristen looks like she’s been crying for days. Kristen says she’s tried constantly with Stassi and Katie, but they don’t understand she’s going through a breakup. Stassi feels like Kristen is lying. She says in public that they’ve broken up, but everyone knows Carter lives there. They see each other every day, and sometimes hook up. Kristen says that’s up to her, and Stassi says, it is, but she has to be honest; they’re not broken up. Kristen says maybe that’s not the way it works for Stassi, and Stassi asks if it’s working for Kristen. In Kristen’s interview, she says Stassi can be sad, but move on, and she commends Stassi for that, but that’s not who she is. She can’t say she won’t talk to Carter again. Stassi asks where Carter is going when Kristen moves, and Kristen says he’s moving in with Shawn. He told her today. In her interview, Stassi says, praise the break-up gods. Kristen says she misses Stassi.

Schwartz chants, we got a house; we got a house. Katie says as homeowners, they have to throw sophisticated parties. That’s why they’re filling super soakers with vodka. The guests begin to arrive. Katie introduces Dayna to Peter, but apparently they’ve met before. Peter talks to Dayna on the side, saying he doesn’t want any weirdness as her manger because of what happened last year. In Dayna’s interview, she says she went to Skybar, and met a lot of the people from SUR. The Toms had told her about opening the new bar, and she was looking for a job. She asks, what happened last year? and Peter says they went in the bathroom together. She says she was peeing. Is he saying something happened? He says they made out, but she says he tried to kiss her, and she leaned away, then left. In her interview, she says she has no idea why he’s saying they made out. She’s sure she’d remember the first time she made out with a pirate. She tells him, no weirdness.

On the way to the airport, Stassi tells Beau that she’s nervous. He tells her that it’s family and friends, and to speak from her feelings and heart.

Schwartz gives the house tour. Brett comes in with Scheana. Scheana tells everyone that she’s going to Palm Springs with Max next weekend. In Dayna’s interview, she says she knew Max and Scheana had dated, but now they’re going to Palm Springs on a couples vacation. She loves it. Jax asks Kristen if her significant other is coming, but she says she doesn’t have one. Speak of the devil. Carter comes in, bearing a houseplant. Max and Brett talk in the kitchen, and Brett says he feels like he’s on Scheana’s hip at TomTom, but he’s not trying be with her. Max says he had a similar situation when he was working there. All he knows is, she’s boy crazy. Katie listens in, and Max says, it was overwhelming at times. He made the mistake of hanging out with her all the time. Not that he didn’t want to, but he realized it was a lot. Katie tells Scheana that Max is saying she’s boy crazy, and he was sick of hanging out with her. Scheana approaches them, and asks what they’re talking about. Why is Max saying she’s boy crazy? Max admits he said it, but tells her it’s not a bad term. She asks if he said he made a mistake in hanging out with her. In her interview, Scheana says Max doesn’t know her and Brett’s relationship. Why is he saying something that will make Brett run away? I agree. She can do that all by herself pretty quickly. She says she thought she and Max were in a good place, and he says he’s not trying to offend her. She says she doesn’t like being called crazy. This is the part in the slasher film where she’d bring out a big knife. Max says she doesn’t have to chase anybody. Dayna asks for tequila.

While some of the guests play with the super soakers in the pool, Lala decides she’ll be a good person, and talk to Carter. Peter drains a trifle bowl of tequila. Max and Dayna go outside. Max says he wants to hang out with Dayna outside of work. In his interview, he says he had a strict policy, and broke his own rule. At work, he and Dayna couldn’t go past each other without the heat rising. Dayna says Max is going to Palm Springs with Scheana, and he says they’re not going alone, but he’s going. She asks what the deal is, and he says they haven’t hooked up since they stopped hooking up. He wants to be friends with her, and Dayna has no problem with that, but doesn’t want to be involved in any messiness. In Dayna’s interview, she says she knows people have warned her, but Max makes her twitterpated. I have to admit, I had no idea this was a real word. I don’t use Twitter much, so I thought it was a newish word in relation to that, but it is a real word, relating to twitter as a verb, and meaning infatuated or obsessed. I know. More than you wanted to know. What do you expect from an English major?

Lala calls Carter over, and they step outside. She says, Kristen cries often, and he’s still living there. Now that she’s moving out, maybe they should take some time apart. It seems like he’s latched on to a comfortable situation. He’s got his bills paid, and baby girl has a job. In Lala’s interview, she says she knows what it’s like not be financially equal, but she contributes in other ways, like running a household, and giving killer BJs. What’s Carter doing besides playing video games, and sucking the life out of her friend. Jax says Lala is really handing it to Carter out there. Carter says, if Kristen wants to cut him out of her life, she’ll tell him. He’s been doing the videos on her website, and just shot her last photo shoot. She’s not hearing both sides. In her interview, Lala says, as she’s listening, she’s officially seeing the grey area. She craves honesty, and Carter is saying he’s been honest. Inside, Kristen says she’s not comfortable right now. Why is this happening?

Everyone twerks, or tries to. Tom meets Jax at the pool. Jax asks how the house is coming, and Tom says he’s welcome to come over, but bring a chair. Jax says he would have liked to come over – if he’d gotten an invite. Tom says he didn’t want anyone over. Jax says he wouldn’t judge Tom, but Tom says he does judge a little. To him, getting the house is like his and Ariana’s wedding day. But when he was moving in, Jax was all about how much he spent, and what the square footage was, and telling Tom how he was going to do better. Jax says he’s having kids. He’ll need a bigger house, and will have to spend more. Tom says he’s known Jax a long time, and it felt like Jax was one-upping him. Jax says if there was hostility, Tom wasn’t feeling it from him. It’s a serious time for him. He’s getting married. Tom says when Jax was planning the pre-bachelor party, he told Jax it’s the one time he couldn’t do it. Jax says if once in a while he’d gotten a text, just acknowledging that the great and wonderful Jax is deigning to join himself to another human being (okay, I embellished), he would have appreciated it. Tom caused him to second guess his best man. Tom says he did send Jax a text, and shows Jax his phone, where he suggests the get together as soon as he gets back. Jax is like, humana-humana, and says, okay. In Tom’s interview, he says the wedding is this summer, and Jax is enjoying the power he has. He’s definitely taking advantage of the attention. Jax admits that he didn’t really want to demote Tom, and just did it to get his attention. In Jax’s interview, he says Tom pissed him off. He knows he’s right, but it’s not right if Tom’s not there be his side. Tom says he’d be honored to be Jax’s best man, and Jax says he’d be honored to have him. I say, ugh.

Kristen drinks out of two cups, then gives to Carter. She says he was talking a long time to Lala. Carter says Lala told him to move out, because Kristen is unhappy. Kristen starts her usual hopping around, saying that’s when she gets defensive. It’s no one’s business. Carter says he was taken off guard, and tells her that he loves her. In Katie’s interview, she says, Carter has some strange power to treat Kristen like sh*t, but when she says she wants to break up, he still lives in the house, and eats her food. It’s effed up. In Kristen’s interview, she says she’d expect it from Katie or Stassi, but not from Lala. She’d never interject with Randal. She learned her lesson with Schwartz and Katie. She tells Lala that she saw them talking, and Lala says she wanted to know what was happening. Kristen tells them that she’s miserable and crying all the time, then she calls him. She doesn’t like it when Kristen does phony confiding, when it couldn’t be further from what’s really going on. Kristen says maybe her way doesn’t work for the rest of them… and Lala says, it’s working for her? Lala tells Kristen not to call her crying, then do what she did to Katie and Stassi. She’s not going for this bullsh*t. Kristen can’t believe Lala pulled the Katie and Stassi card, which is possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard anyone say on this show. And that’s saying a lot. By the pool, Tom wonders what’s going on, and Kristen calls Lala an effing bitch. Lala says do not call her out on this. Schwartz goes outside, and tells Tom, they’re going crazy in there. Brittany tells Kristen and Lala to calm down. Lala says she won’t be spoken down to by a sugar mama, and Katie tells Kristen, everyone is just trying be real. Brittany suggests they sit down, and talk; figure things out as friends. It doesn’t have to end like this. Katie says the need to stop acting like they haven’t been here before. She’s sorry, but Kristen needs to stop pretending they’re bad friends. She needs to get over herself.

Outside, Schwartz asks if that’s his wife, and Tom says that is his wife. Jax says he’s out of there. Kristen leaves, and Katie says, how many times has she cried wolf? Forgive her for wanting something better for Kristen.

This season, yachting, twerking, parties; Lisa tries on hats; Dayna does stand-up comedy; dogs; Lala talks about getting married; Raquel tells James, if he can’t get his sh*t together, they’re breaking up; and Stassi is shooken.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, a million years ago, the police had just shot Wyatt, after he shot Jim and Kathryn. Veronica had also sent a group of thugs to David’s house, to kill him and Jeffrey. But David and Jeffrey were waiting.

An officer tells George, Wyatt should be okay. The fall knocked him out, but he’s still breathing. They have to wake him up, and put the cuffs on him. George asks if Wyatt said his parents are dead, and the cop says he did. George says, dammit, and the officer says the have to clear the house. He goes inside, while Wyatt is cuffed, pulled to his feet, shoved in a car. This is obviously not the way George wanted this to go. He asks Wyatt, what happened? and Wyatt asks what he’s talking about. George tells him that he said his parents were dead. Wyatt says, take the cuffs off, and George asks what he did. Wyatt says he shot them, and orders George to get him an ambulance. George says it’s coming, and asks where Wyatt’s parents are. Wyatt says, they’re dead. Who’s got the last laugh now, bitches?

The police go through the house, saying, clear, as they hit each room. One says they’ve got a body, and another radios in that there’s a victim. It looks like a gunshot wound. They go upstairs. They hear something, and keep going. An officer goes into a bathroom, and says they’ve got another body. Kathryn is slumped over the side of the bathtub.

Veronica comes home, and says her son is gone. She pretends to weep, saying, what a girl gonna do without her family? She needs her family. She laughs, and takes a drink. She says, don’t ever try to kill me again. Her phone rings. It’s the thug in charge of the ambush. He says it didn’t turn out the way she thought. They were ready for his guys when they showed up. She says she doesn’t give a damn about him; she just wants to get it done. He calls her cold-blooded, and she says he knows that. He says two of his men died, and one was his brother. She tells him, calm down, and he says, she didn’t say they’d be ready for them; they had all kinds of guns. She says they should have known, and he says she should have told them. She asks if she has to school his ignorant ass. He’s a thug, and should know. He says his brother is dead, and she says, so sorry. He’s ruining her relaxation time, and now she has to come up with another plan. He tells her, get her ass down to the hospital. She says she just got home, and that’s not a good idea. He says she needs to get there now; he’s not playing. She laughs, and he hangs up. She says that’s what she gets for dealing with thugs. She gets her handbag, and goes back out, saying, I’m coming, a-hole.   

At David’s, it’s a mess. David tells Jeffrey to call the police, and looks at the two bodies. Jeffrey calls and says they just had a break-in, and gives the address. When he’s done, he asks David if the guy is dead, and David shoots him again, and says, he is now. He kicks the body, and Jeffrey says, dammit. He knew she would do this. David says he’s going after her, but Jeffrey says, don’t do that; just go away. David says he’s not running from Veronica. She won’t let them live. He told her to come after him, but she came after Jeffrey too. Jeffrey tells him to stop, and takes the gun out of his hand. David says Jeffrey is her son, and she tried to kill him. If they don’t stop her, she’ll try again. Jeffrey tells him, just listen. He’s okay. They’re okay. Calm down. They can have her ass arrested. David says the police won’t hold her; it will never stick. Jeffrey says, it’s okay.

On TV, Charles says he had no idea of Candace’s past. He should have had her vetted. He was confused, angry, and hurt. He’s a widower, and he was lonely and vulnerable. Things happen, and he has to be more careful – for the American people, and for his family. Watching the broadcast, Candace shakes her head. He says she had him completely fooled. She was someone he was dating, and when he learned about the people she’d blackmailed, he was blown away. He apologizes to the American people, from the heart. He trusted, and she wasn’t a good person. Hanna asks why Candace is looking at that, and Candace says she couldn’t sleep. Hanna says, looking at that won’t help her. Candace says, it was easier when she was cold. It was harder to take advantage of her. Hanna says, Candace was the one taking advantage, and Candace says, it worked for her, Hanna says, did it? Candace says, not really. Hanna says, when she was out there, was she ever really happy? Candace says, it was exciting, but Hanna says, was she happy? Candace says she can’t say she was, Hanna says, it looks like a lot of stress to her. Candace is better than that. Candace says she needed to know for herself. She asks if Hanna heard what Charles said, and Hanna says, he’s doing what he’s got to do; he’s a politician. Candace says she wants to understand how Hanna makes this okay. Hanna asks what this is, and Candace says, it’s not her house. She’s seen Hanna struggle. How does she do it? Hanna says she has a job for one, but first and foremost, the Lord has always provided. Candace asks why He doesn’t give her more. Hanna says she has everything she wants. She loves her life. It’s hard sometimes, but it’s full and it’s honest. Now that Candace is on this path, God has answered every one of her prayers. She doesn’t want a mansion or fancy cars. She wants everything she has. Candace says she clearly didn’t get that from Hanna, and Hanna suggests maybe it was from watching her around rich people. Candace says, maybe Derrick. If she knew where it was coming from, could she change it? He is her father. Maybe she has bad genes that make her do the wrong thing. Hanna says, we make our own choices, and you can change your life. She’s glad Candace is giving the money back. Candace says, it’s not for him; it’s for herself. She wants to start making right choices. Hanna says if she does, all other things will follow. Candace asks if Hanna doesn’t think she should talk to Derrick. Hanna says, as much as she hates that, she can’t deny Candace getting answers. Candace asks if she can get his number from Hanna, and Hanna says it sounds like she wants to talk to him. Candace still doesn’t know. Hanna goes to get the number. I love their new relationship. Candace seems lighter.

Charles asks Oliver how that went, and Oliver says, great, sir. He should see the responses on social media. His favorite says, let that man live. He’s been through enough. Another one says, duped, heartbroken, a good man. Charles asks what they’re saying about her, and Oliver says, it’s okay. Charles came up smelling like a rose. He did what he had to; let it be. He asks if he can get Charles anything else, but Charles tells him, have good night. When Oliver leaves, Charles takes out his phone, and I say, he is not. He says, don’t call her, Charles. I second that.

Landon pulls up to Charles’s place, and Oliver asks what he’s doing there. Charles doesn’t want to talk to him. Landon says Oliver works for him, and he heard he’s been fired. Oliver says he can have the Secret Service escort Landon out. The head guy doesn’t know Landon has been fired. Landon says he told Oliver to look after Charles, and he’s been trying to take Landon’s job. He calls Oliver a little SOB. He says Oliver’s name is going to be mud all over DC. Oliver says she didn’t do it; Charles did. Landon asks why fire him? and Oliver says because he couldn’t get the story killed. Landon wants to talk to him, and tells he guy at the door to tell the President Elect that he needs to speak to him. Oliver says he’ll do it, and Landon says, then do it. And cut his damn hair. Who wears a mullet in the White House? Oliver doesn’t exactly have a mullet, but whatever.

Oliver approaches Charles, and tells him, Landon is there. Charles asks, why? and Oliver says Landon wants to talk to him. Charles asks if Oliver told Landon that he’s fired, and Oliver says he did, but Landon came anyway. Charles asks how he got past security, and Oliver says he hadn’t informed the entire team yet. Charles says, send him in. Landon must have been two inches from the door, since he comes in pretty fast. They make small talk, and Charles asks where he’s been. Landon says there was a family emergency, but everything is all right. Charles insists on fixing Landon a drink, and Landon asks if Charles was informed that he was fired. Charles says he was, and Landon says he had nothing to do with this mess about Candace. Charles tells him to have a seat, and says, if he launched a full investigation, Landon’s prints wouldn’t come up on the knife? He was supposed to clean her up. Landon says he thought he did; he’s sorry. Charles hands him a drink, and starts taking off Landon’s shoes. Landon asks what he’s doing, and Charles says, what Landon did for him. He tells Landon to take off his jacket, and Landon says, Charles made it clear that he doesn’t want Landon to do what he’s doing now. Charles asks if Landon trusts him, and Landon says, of course. He knows how much Charles loved and wanted her, and Charles says, as much as Landon loves and wants him? He told Ellen that he wanted Charles and was in love with him. Should he call her in there? Landon says he was having a hard time, and Charles is a very likeable man. Charles says, likeable or loveable? and Landon says, both. Charles asks Landon to tell him the truth. Did he set this up, and release the information? If Charles is going to trust Landon, he has to be honest. Landon says he didn’t do it. He loves Charles; he’s right. He was in the Attorney General’s office and it was information they had already. He didn’t give it to them. Charles says Landon didn’t deny it, and Landon says, he couldn’t, so he let it ride. It’s not fair; there was nothing he could do, Now what? Charles says Landon is done. His career is over. Charles’s entire focus will be on running this country. That should scare him to death.

Landon comes out, and Oscar says, it didn’t go so well. He’s still fired. Landon says if he doesn’t get hired back, he’ll do everything in his power to bury Oliver. Even daddy and mommy’s money won’t help him, and he’ll only be hired in their restaurant. Oliver asks if Landon is threatening him, and Landon says, politics are built on threats. Oliver says he’s not going to take this lying down, and Landon says he knows Oliver doesn’t do that. Oliver says, see you, buttercup. Landon says he knows Oliver is enjoying this. Oliver says he’s not, and Landon asks why he’s smiling. Oliver says, it’s ironic. Landon treated him like sh*t. Landon tells him, don’t celebrate too early. Enjoy this moment. Oliver says Landon should take plane home, and Landon tells him to take one straight to hell. Alrighty then.

At the hospital, a buzzer rings. Madison tells the other reception nurse that it’s her turn. She says she doesn’t care; enjoy. He says he hates her, and goes into Justin’s room. Justin says he’s glad Madison is still there, and Madison asks what he can do for Justin. Justin says he’s in so much pain, but Madison says the doctor gave him pain meds two hours ago. Just ask for more, but Madison says he can’t; sorry. Justin says he won’t tell, and Madison says he knows, because he’s not giving them to Justin. Justin says he has $11K, and Madison says he’s going back to the desk. Justin says just give him the pills, and he’ll give Madison the money. Madison says he can’t do that, and asks if Justin has an addiction. If there’s a problem, he’ll call the doctor. Justin says he just wants enough to… Madison says, to what? and Justin says just give him a handful, and let him die. Madison says if Justin wants to die, he’ll have to get a mental health evaluation. Justin asks if Madison doesn’t want to get even. Put him out of his misery, and let him die. Madison says, sorry, and Justin grabs his hand. Madison says, please let him go, and Justin says, don’t leave. Why does everyone leave him? He tells Madison that he’s sorry for what he did to him, and Madison walks out.

At the desk, Madison tells his co-worker that he had to call upstairs. The patient wants to die, and need a psych evaluation. She says she would too, if she’d been though what he has. Madison says she knows what Justin did to him, and she says, that’s no excuse, but something’s not right up there. He calls for the evaluation, and she says she knows he cares. It’s sad. He says he wouldn’t be a good nurse without empathy. Veronica approaches the desk, and suggests some foundation would do something for Madison. She says, look what affirmative action has done; two girls at the front desk. It’s the whole rainbow tribe. Her favorite thug joins her, and she says, the voice of a real man. She walks away with him, and Madison says he hates her so much. The other nurse says, she kind of likes her, but kind of wants to kill her ass.

Her thug says if Veronica wants to know, he’s fine, but his brother and Tyrone are dead. They had kids. Veronica asks if he called her there for charity. He says, no, but the police are going to ask what happened. She asks if he’s threatening her right now, and he says he’s not, but it would be cool if she’d pay for their funerals. She can’t believe he called her about a thug’s funeral, and wasting her time like this. She thinks she could possibly pay for one casket. Maybe the funeral home will give her a two for one deal. If… she pulls him aside, and brings him into Justin’s room. Justin says, no, no, no. He’s in pain. Veronica says she just wants to introduce a friend. Madison comes in, and says they need to leave. Veronica says she needs him to get out. He says, visiting hours are over; she needs to leave. She says he needs this job, right? and he tells her to leave right now. She says she’s visiting a friend, and he says he means it. She laughs, and her thug says, come on. She says, okay, fine. She tells Justin that she’ll be back, and puts a card in Madison’s pocket. It’s a friend of hers who does good Botox. He could use it. When she’s gone, Justin thanks Madison, who says he’s just doing his job. Justin says, no. He’s a good guy. He asks if Madison will keep an eye on him, and Madison says, she won’t be coming back. Justin thanks Madison, and when he’s alone, he cries.

Benny’s phone rings. He wakes up and answers. It’s Mitch, who asks what he’s up to. Benny says he was sleeping, and Mitch tells him, come on. He wants to get out, and celebrate. Benny says, celebrate what? and Mitch says his family not killing Benny. Benny says Mitch thinks it’s funny, and asks where Mitch is going. Mitch says, for a drink at Joe’s, and asks if Candace would want to come. Benny doesn’t think so, but if she’s up, he’ll ask.

Veronica sees a cleaning lady, and realizes it’s Celine, one time housekeeper of the Cryers. She asks if Celine works there, and Celine asks what it looks like. Veronica tells her not to get smart. Celine tries to get past, saying she has work to do, but Veronica says she knows the board and the owner. She says she just has one question. Why would anyone want to work? Celine says, to feed their family and pay the bills. Veronica says why is she there working the graveyard shift when she has two adults in the house who are Jim’s children? She doesn’t have to do this. Veronica says she’ll help Celine get him; she can do better. Celine moves on down the hallway, and Veronica says, come by her house. She can help Celine. She adds that Celine missed a spot. Get the mop. Unless she calls.

Benny sees Candace on the couch, and asks, what’s going on? She says, nothing, and he says he’s heading out. Mitch is on his way, and wants to know if Candace would like to come with them. Candace doesn’t think it would be a good idea, but Benny says it would be good for her to get out. She says she’s staying in. Everybody knows her face; she’s staying there. He says she has her shoes ready. She’s thinking about running. She says, no. She already lost a son. She can’t stand the thought of losing another person she loves so much. What if they come back for him? He tells her to run and start over, but she says she’s not doing that. He tells her, if she wants to give back the $8 million, go ahead. She says he’s bad for her, and he says she never took convincing before. She says, have drink for her. She looks at the TV, and tells him, look. It’s breaking news of a triple shooting, at Jim and Kathryn Cryer’s house. The reporter says they’re trying to find out what happened, but the coroner’s van behind her tells her, it’s not a good thing at all.

Next time, Benny says Jim got what’s coming to him and Candace can keep the money; Landon threatens Oliver; Candace visits Derrick; and it looks like Jim survived.

🙇 Whew…

Because it’s Wednesday, it’s so late it’s early, it was a rough night of premieres, and why not?

January 3, 2020 – A Reveal Before the Vows, the New Q Manse, Stanbury Split, Change Brews In the OC, The Countess Moves On, a Reminder & Wrong Year


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Nina tells Jax, she’s sorry, but she has no time to talk. He tells her, just listen. Whatever she’s planning, don’t. The only option that will leave any of them standing is for her to walk away – now.

In bed with Chase, Willow says she can’t believe he got a hotel room. They have a perfectly good bed. He asks if it’s a complaint, and says they can go, but she pulls him back, and says, don’t you dare. She likes the hotel and the bed, and loves the guy in the bed. Chase says that guy loves her too.

Sam tells Jason that this is the last time she can see him, and he asks, what happened? She says the only way she can stay free, is if she stays away from him.

Ned and Brook sit with Diane at the MetroCourt. Brook says she knows Diane is a master. If anyone can find a way out of her contract, it’s Diane. Diane asks if Brook consulted an attorney before signing it, and Brook says, no. Diane says she should have.

Michael asks if he’s told Sasha how good she looks. She says when she got there, and when they took their first drink, and he says, it’s not enough. He tells her to hit him with her New Year’s resolution, and she says she’s so excited to start over. She’ll be leaving Nina and Charlotte behind, but she’s grateful to have him. He says she’s stuck with him, and she says, promise? They kiss.

Maxie tells Obrecht that she looks beautiful; Maxie loves her dress. Obrecht thanks her, and drains her glass. Maxie asks if everything is okay, and Obrecht says she’s anticipating the festivities, whatever they may be. Peter says he thinks it’s called a wedding. Obrecht tells them that despite her sordid history with Valentin, he makes her niece happy. She hopes Nina chooses happy, and Maxie asks if that isn’t why they’re there. Obrecht says, from her lips, and moves on. Peter asks, is it him, or is Obrecht stranger than usual? Maxie says she’s not and never will be a Valentin fan, but obviously, Nina loves him. If a liar like Valentin can turn things around, maybe there’s hope for the rest of them.

Up on the tower balcony, Valentin tells Ava that he doesn’t change plans. He acts with precision, and she gave him an opportunity he can’t pass up. She asks, what opportunity? and he says she’s been drinking heavily, she’s in a fragile emotional state, and it’s icy up there. He pushes her over the parapet, and Charlotte appears. She asks what he’s doing out there. I am so angry about the turn this took. Why must Valentin continue to be a jerk?

Valentin asks Charlotte what she’s doing out there, and from behind her, Lulu says they came to look at the moon. Valentin says, it’s cold. Why don’t they look from the conservatory inside? Lulu says, that’s not a bad idea, and Valentin says he has a job for Charlotte. He tells Lulu that he’s glad she came, and asks Charlotte to check on the bride. He’ll see Lulu downstairs. Charlotte tries to look over the edge, but Valentin pulls her along.

Laura tells Doc, she tried to convince Charlotte that her bodyguard wasn’t real, but Charlotte insisted she saw him, and he was wearing the Cassadine crest ring. She compared it to her father’s tattoo, and described it perfectly. Doc asks if she’s certain it was a ring, and if there’s any chance Charlotte had seen it before. Laura says she’s never seen Valentin near one, and Nikolas was dead long before Charlotte came to town. None of it makes sense.

Sam tells Jason, it’s all her fault. If only she hadn’t gone undercover to take Shiloh down. Look what it’s done to them. Jason says, back it up for a second, and asks the officer’s name. Sam gives him Delores’s card, and he asks if she came in hostile at all. Sam says Delores was definitely expecting her to make a mistake. Jason says Sam didn’t do that. She just showed Delores the house. Sam says, yeah, but Delores got fixated on the stockings. She asked about Danny, and knew Jason was his father. Then she asked if Jason was living there. Jason says, first, Sam needs to understand it’s not her fault. Nothing could have been done to stop it. The officer saw his file, and knew he was Danny’s father. She came to the house gunning for him, not her. Sam asks if there’s any way to fight it.

Willow tells Chase, it’s been an amazing year, and Chase says, except for going to jail. She says, apart from that, she met him, they fell in love, and moved in together. He says, it’s been a pretty good year, and Willow says, she has the feeling 2020 will be even better. Chase thinks they both have that feeling, and they kiss.

Diane tells Brook, the contract is tightly written, and gives little wiggle room. Brook asks if it isn’t Diane’s job; she’s gotten Sonny out of worse. Diane says, not really. All of her clients are well-advised not to sign anything unless it’s been reviewed by her or another competent attorney, which Brook neglected to do. Her manager has exclusive rights to everything, until she provides her obligation. Ned asks if they have any options, and Diane says, if it was anyone else, she’d say there are none, but since they’re Quartermaines, the only straightforward solution would be to buy him out. Her phone dings, and she says she has to run, telling them, happy New Year. Brook says they’re in the middle of something, but Diane says she got a call to consult with a client who has her on retainer. As she leaves, Brook says, it was a text; not a call.

Sasha tells Michael that she keeps telling herself that Lucy is a good businesswoman, and she made the right choice. Is she boring him? He says, no; he’s interested. She says, if he’s so interested, why has he been looking over there the whole time? He apologizes, saying he’s close to his cousin Ned, who’s hands down the most Quartermaine of all of them; whatever good and bad that entails. Ned was distracted before, when he was mayor, but now that Ned’s daughter is back, Michael has the feeling they’re gearing up for some Quartermaine infighting. Sasha asks if that’s a thing, and he says, it is in their family. If he’s right, he could use favor from her. She says, anything, and he says he needs help keeping his perspective. He needs to appreciate the good things around him, and once in a while, she can make him smile. She kisses him, and says, like that? He says, yeah; just like that.

Jax tells Nina that she has two options; marry Valentin or destroy him, and neither is worth it. She says he doesn’t know that, but he says he does. Valentin is dangerous. He’s lied so many times already, does she want to marry into a dysfunctional situation because Valentin is a good father, and there have been a few moments he made her feel good? To be honest, plan B, her big revenge, is probably worse. Charlotte will get caught in the middle. Nina says she thinks about that constantly, and Jax says she should. Charlotte is on cloud nine about Nina marrying her father. If she takes Valentin down, she’ll take Charlotte too, and she doesn’t want to do that. She says, no, she doesn’t.

😠 There was a brief interruption here for remarks about the airstrike in Iraq. Sorry, I just didn’t have time to backtrack later, but I didn’t miss much.

Laura tells Lulu that Charlotte could end up resenting her, and Lulu says, true, but it’s hard. Laura gets it. She knows, no matter what else Valentin has done, he’s the father of someone they love. She’s not saying they should turn a blind eye to it, but Lulu needs to let go of some of the rage, at least around Charlotte. Not long ago, Charlotte blurted out that she knew they hated each other. Lulu says she hasn’t done a good job of hiding it, and Laura tells her to do better, for Charlotte’s sake. Inch toward the middle. She’d like to think, if Nikolas lived, it’s what he would want them do. I laugh, knowing how wrong that is.

Charlotte asks what Jax is doing in Nina’s room, and he says he came to talk to his friend. It’s an exciting night for her, so he’ll leave them to it. Nina tells Charlotte how beautiful she looks, but Charlotte says there’s no one prettier than Nina. She’s excited for Nina to be her forever stepmother. They hug, and Charlotte says she needs Nina. Papa needs her. It will be his happily ever after once Nina marries him.

Jason says he’s never been convicted, but Diane says, one nolo contendere is all that’s needed. He knew when he took the plea bargain, that it was going to follow him, and someone might use it as ammunition. He says, they let him out, and Diane says, because the police needed his help to apprehend Franco. In the eyes of the law, he’s a felon, and the officer is within her rights to make it a condition of Sam’s parole. Sam says, it’s fine. It’s nothing they haven’t dealt with before. They’ll deal with it again.

Martin tells Valentin, it’s almost midnight. Is he ready? Valentin says he never thought he’d be getting married in a room of his enemies. Martin says, it’s a humdinger, and Valentin says, if anyone had made the guest list other than Nina, he’d be worried. Charlotte runs in, and Jax isn’t far behind. They both sit.

Brook asks if Ned heard what Diane said about the option they have. Ned asks if she wants him to pay the guy off, and she says, yes. He says, no, and she asks, why not? He says she had a manager; her mother. It was her choice to leave, and go out on her own, signing with a supposed brilliant producer. Brook says he hit on her. After she signed. She realized it was less about her being a recording artist than arm candy. Ned asks if the producer forced himself on her, and she says, no, but he made it clear there were terms not specified in the contract that he wanted met. Ned calls him a pig, and Brook says, now he understands why she needs him to give the producer the money. He says, sorry. His answer is still no.

Sasha asks Willow what it’s like having someone head over heels in love with her. Chase is obsessed with her, in the most sincere way. She has the feeling when the time it right, they’re going to make the best parents.

Chase says Michael and Sasha seem good. Michael says it’s crazy, after all that happened, and Chase says he’s relieved that he didn’t have to testify in the fraud thing. Michael must be glad it’s over. Michael says, the lies are done, and Sasha has the Deception thing going on. The sky’s the limit for Sasha, and it’s all he wants for her.

No Nina yet. Martin looks at his watch. Everyone waits. Nina stands outside the door for a moment, and walks in. She and Valentin smile at each other.

Diane says she’s speaking not only as an attorney, but someone who has a vested interest in Sam and Jason’s happiness, and that of their children. In all these years, it hasn’t sat well with her that Sonny’s children have paid in a million different ways for the choices he made. If they’re going to do this, sneak around, and try to circumvent the stipulations of parole, Sam could be locked away for the full two years, possibly more. She has to ask if that’s a risk they’re willing to take.

Michael, Sasha, Willow, and Chase clink glasses at the MetroCourt, saying, happy New Year. Michael says, it really is, and kisses Sasha. Chase says, get a room, and Sasha says, like they did? Michael says Chase is making him look bad. Sasha asks what he and Chase were talking about, and Michael says, lies. He’s happy the drama is behind them. They clink glasses again, and Sasha says she has enjoyed so much of her time there though. She obviously fell in love with Nina as a maternal figure; she’s an amazing mom to Charlotte. But the whole time, she kept thinking, it’s not real; she can’t trust it. Willow says she gets it. Giving up Wiley was hard, but the second hardest thing was the lying and covering up, especially with Michael. When they would meet at the grief group, and she wasn’t telling him the truth, she hated every minute. They all turn to Chase, and he says, don’t look at him. He’s a cop; honesty is always the best policy. Michael says neither one of them would last in his families. The Corinthoses lie about facts, and the Quartermaines lie about everything, but the love is real.

Ned tells Brook and Olivia, happy New Year to the two most important women in his life. Brook says the countdown isn’t going to make her forget. She asks if he doesn’t believe that the guy was inappropriate with her, but he says he does. She can’t work with him again, but he doesn’t think throwing money at him is the solution. Now, he has the leverage, and can set the price, if he knows she’s desperate to get out. If she’d just read the fine print. Brook says it sounds like he thinks she asked for it, and Ned says, of course (🍷) he doesn’t think she wanted sexual harassment by a loser. She says, why not then? and he says if thought she was in danger, they’d figure something out. What happened was inexcusable, but she can stay there and regroup. Brook asks why she should give up her dream, but Ned says, the contract will eventually expire. Brook says, years from now, when she’s dead, or worse, married. Ned says the uncomfortable truth is, they’re Quartermaines, and there’s a world full of people who want to take advantage of them. If they give in just once, everyone knows they can be taken advantage of. Brook asks if he can’t just do it one time, but he says, that’s not how it works. Sorry. She leaves, and Olivia looks at Ned.

The Wedding March plays, as Nina walks down the aisle, which doesn’t take long since they’re in the living room.

Diane says she doesn’t want to know how good Sam and Jason are at avoiding surveillance. They only need to be caught one time. The parole officer is gunning for Sam, probably to get at Jason. The best option is to get Spinelli involved. Have him do a deep dive on the parole officer, and see if he can come up with something, like a conflict of interest. Get Sam assigned to someone new. It has to be done behind-the-scenes, or the officer could get more combative, or make a worse report. Sam says, so Diane is telling them the officer has total control. Diane says, for the moment, and Jason says, the best way to beat her, is to make her think she’s winning.

Ned asks Olivia what she thinks, and Olivia says, it was an amazing speech, but not one word landed. Ned asks, why? and she says, because Brook may have a tough exterior like Lois, but the Quartermaine who Brook is most like is Ned’s mother.

Martin officiates, but Valentin tells him, before the official stuff, he’d like to say a few words. He tells Nina, in this world, two things changed his life forever. First, his beautiful daughter, and then there’s her. He wasn’t certain she and Charlotte would ever meet; he thought they’d be separate parts of his life always. But then Charlotte came to live with him, and the most remarkable thing happened. He met the side of Nina that loved his daughter. She introduced him to a new level of happiness. She’s a wonderful mother, and he can’t imagine sharing his daughter with anyone else; like he can’t imagine sharing his life with anyone else. She’s it. She’s the one.

Ned says, it’s amazing how clearly Olivia sees his family. Does she want out? Olivia asks if he thinks his family drama is going to scare her away. He hugs her, and says she’s still getting her feet wet when it comes to the Quartermaines, but Olivia says she thinks she’s waist deep. Ned says they have a lot of flaws, but the one virtue in the midst of the chaos and backstabbing, is that they can take a moment to enjoy themselves, and see the big picture. He’s glad Brook is back in his life, and he can spend time with her. And he has Olivia, her love and acceptance, and her kicking him in the ass when he needs it. Olivia tells him, don’t ever forget it, and they kiss.

Jason asks how Diane got there, and Diane says, an Uber. Jason tells her, they’ll openly leave together. Sam says, it’s the last time, and Diane agrees. She says they can’t come face to face unless accompanied by their attorneys. Sam says, it’s not fair. This is how they’re supposed to bring in the New Year? He’s Danny’s father. Jason says, if there’s a fix, Diane will find it. He hates it, but they can deal with it. What they can’t deal with, is the kids missing her. He’d go prison for her, but they can’t risk her going back. They’re parents, and what’s right for Scout and Danny is to be with her, which means… He kisses her, and tells her that he loves her so much. She says she loves him too, and they hug. He leaves with Diane, gesturing to Sam with his index finger and pinky on his way out the door, which I assume means he loves her, and not that he loves heavy metal. Sam cries. In the hallway, Diane asks if Jason is okay, but he says, no.

Nina guesses she’ll say something too. Valentin has made her happier than anyone else in her life. She didn’t know what love was until she fell into it with him. What they learn when they’re kids, they think love is a fairytale. A happily ever after, permanent state of bliss, but that’s not love. Love has its ups and downs; beautiful transcendent moments alongside heart wrenching ones. But the happiness is worth the pain. On thing she’s learned, and knows for sure, happiness with him is so sweet. So no more secrets between them, right? He says, no, and I feel sick. Martin says, on that note, and reads the vows.

Just as Nina is about to say, I do, the door is kicked open. Nikolas stands there with Ava in his arms. Everyone is shocked, including me. I have to admit, that was good.

On Monday, Cameron says Trina should have stayed out of it, Lulu accuses Jax of being behind everything, and Nikolas tells Valentin that he loses everything.

🏰 To The Mansion Reborn…

To be honest, I didn’t even notice until Tracy mentioned it. I just thought it was a different part of the house.

👒 A Shame… I Guess…

They seem amicable, but who knows? I’m still waiting on Ladies of London to come back. I loved Caroline.

🍊 But I Like Braunwyn…

At least she makes it so one of these things is not like the others.

Oddly enough, in this article, she sounds like the only one not on her way out.

🍹 Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That…

Hey, as long as they’re not nasty or sloppy, if someone wants to drink to excess, that’s their business. Although LuAnn seems to be both. Just sayin’. I was surprised when she got brought back to court after outing herself about those two mimosas. I’ll bet she was surprised too.

❗ Don’t Forget…

The Haves and the Have Nots begins a new season this Tuesday, January 7th. As does Vanderpump Rules. I’ll have to see how I’m going to finagle that, since they’re both on at 9 pm. I’ll be glad to see HAHN again, and just as glad to stop seeing the ad for it on OWN every five minutes.

👂 A Yearworm…

I know it’s way off, but every time I hear 2020, this song pops into my head. Somebody make it stop.