Category Archives: real housewives

June 14, 2019 – New Info On Shiloh Comes To Light, a Lawyer’s Lawsuit, Beverly Body Image, Joe Tries Again, Seven Plus One Quotes & Dad


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Yeah, yeah, not much happens in the first minute.

Nelle folds laundry. A guard tells her to stop; supplies need to be unpacked. She says she’s been on her feet all day, and needs a break. Brad walks in with a box, and says he could really use some help. She says she’ll take a break later.

Curtis tells Jordan that he can take her home soon. She says she can’t wait. He sees the bed littered with paperwork, and says he knows she’s in a hurry to get back to work, but he’s going to play bad cop, and impound the paperwork until the doctor says it’s okay. He looks at it, and says, are these medical bills?

At the Metro Court, Sam asks Jason if he’s sure the adoption can’t be traced. What if something goes wrong, and Willow or Brad slips? Carly tells her, don’t focus on the worst case scenario. It will stress her out. Sam says there’s no way she’s going to let that snake get his hands on Wiley.

Curtis says Jordan Just had surgery, is recovering, and some hospital bean counter drops all this in her lap? She says she asked for the bills. He says they’ll submit them, and insurance will handle them. She says her coverage is good, but like everyone else in the country, there’s a wide gap between what insurance pays and what the patient owes. I. Hear. That. She can’t lie there and watch TV. Figuring out their financial obligations will be good for her, even if it’s not good for their bank account. Like or not, they have to deal with reality, even if it means taking a second mortgage. He says, he can’t talk her out of it? and she says, no. He sits on the bed with her.

Willow takes the paper back from Michael, and says she’s going to hunt Shiloh down, and throw it in his face. Michael says she’ll be playing into his hands. He wants her to make a public scene. Then he’ll have proof she has something to hide. She says she does, and he says, all the more reason to keep cool. It’s like a game of chess; you have to take your time before you move. She says she has no time. She has to appear in court. Shiloh knows Wiley is his. Michael says if that was the case, he’d be on Brad and Lucas’s doorstep. He thinks she should call Diane. She knows the law, and how to bend it in her client’s favor. His parents are walking around free in large part because of Diane; she’s that good. Willow says he’s right. She’s the best, and will know what to do. She calls, but is told Diane isn’t there. Michael calls, and hands her the phone. She tells Diane that she’s just been subpoenaed.

At Kelly’s, Margaux thanks Lucy for putting her place on the market. Lucy is surprised she’s selling; she just got there. Margaux asks if it’s a problem, and Lucy says, no. She thinks she can get top dollar, and scheduled an open house this weekend. She asks if she can find something else for Margaux; maybe something smaller. Shiloh walks in, and Lucy asks if Margaux wants to take the conversation outside, but Margaux says she’s good. Lucy leaves, giving Shiloh a look as she passes him. Shiloh asks if Margaux is thinking of selling real estate now that she’s not on the public payroll anymore. She says she saw he found someone to take the fall for him. He says he doesn’t know what she means. She says Harmony didn’t drug those women. Didn’t his role model, P.T. Barnum, say there’s one born every minute? He says, every visionary has been called a huckster. There’s also a name for people like her, who turned him in for thirty pieces of silver. She tells him that he’s no Messiah, and she did it for free. He tells her he’s still there, and he’s just getting warmed up.

Brad tells Nelle that he knew she’d be working, but he didn’t want to sign in. Someone might be keeping tabs on him. He pops an antacid, and she asks why he’s so nervous. Why would someone be watching him? Has he been bad again? She realizes that’s not it, and asks if it’s her baby.

Jason tells Sam, as far as they know, Shiloh doesn’t know the baby survived, and he has no idea it’s Wiley. Sam says they eliminated the paper trail. Jason says one of his followers covered for him again. Sam says she knows. He’s leaning on DOD to back him up. That’s his pride and purpose, but also his Achille’s heel. He might have skated, but his reputation took a hit. People are calling it Dawn of Dead, and ex-followers are coming out about the Trust and the Pledges. His numbers are diminishing. Carly says he’s going under, and Sam says, not yet, but it’s starting to unravel. Jason says Shiloh is panicking. It might motivate him more to find the one thing he has claim to.

Lucy does business on the phone outside Kelly’s. Josslyn approaches, and Lucy hugs her. She asks how Josslyn is doing, and Josslyn says she’s okay. Lucy is glad see her. She says Josslyn has been on her mind a lot lately. Josslyn says she was speaking to Maxie, who said Lucy might be able to help her. Lucy says she’s a little young for her own apartment, but Josslyn says she needs a different kind of help. She needs to know how to contact someone who’s passed over.

Margaux tells Shiloh, his flock is deserting him in droves. He says the DOD numbers have never been higher, and she says either he’s more delusional than she thought, or he’s setting himself up for a colossal fall. He says one day, she’ll realize DOD is her salvation, and when that day comes, he’ll welcome her with open arms. He’s stronger now, and only growing more purposeful. She walks away, and he laughs like the nutcake he is.

Willow asks Diane if she’s sure there’s no choice. She says she understands. Michael says, not what she wanted to hear? and Willow says she has to appear, but Diane is prepared to fight and win. Michael says he can help. She says he’s done so much; now it’s her turn. No matter what happens, Shiloh is not getting his hands on Wiley.

Nelle asks if her baby is sick. Brad says his little boy is fine. He hopes that never changes, and it won’t, as long as Wiley remains with him and Lucas. He says the whole reason Nelle gave the baby to him was to keep him from growing up with Sonny and Carly. She asks if Carly is suspicious, and he says she’s clueless, but the birth mother has been poking around in their lives. Nelle asks if she still thinks Wiley is the baby she gave up. He nods, and she asks, what’s the problem? Brad says, the biological dad. Not Michael, but the real one, who thinks he’s Wiley’s biological father. Brad says he’s about to lose everything; Wiley, Lucas, his life, If Sonny realizes he took Michael’s son away. Nelle asks if he needs her now more than ever.

Curtis wonders how normal, everyday people can afford to be sick. That’s a good question, Curtis. He tells Jordan they’re not talking about this today. She says she needs to; it’s her fault. He says, it’s not. She says she’s the one taking thirty dollar aspirin. He says, because of an accident. He wouldn’t blame her any more than he’s blame Drew, who lost control of his car because a virus made him blind. She says, yes, it was an accident, but it’s still costing them everything they’d planned. Forget the honeymoon and vacations; what if she can’t go back to work? What if they sink into debt because of her? He says he’s got this. Luckily, he has an idea. He kisses her. While I applaud them addressing unaffordable affordable health care, didn’t Drew say he’d pay for all of this? Did I dream that scene up?

Brad tells Nelle if Wiley’s paternity becomes public, he needs to make sure she still wants Wiley to grow up with him and Lucas. He shows her a picture of Wiley on his phone. She says, he’s adorable. She sees a lot of Michael in him. She asks if he’s moved on, and Brad says, Wiley? She says, no; Michael. She saw the trash he was with on the red carpet at the Nurses Ball. Brad says they were talking about Wiley. She says, tell her the truth. Michael isn’t over her, is he?

Lucy texts Michael. Want to make an offer? Need to move quickly.

Willow visits Harmony in the pokey. She asks how Harmony’s arraignment was, and Harmony says, there’s not much to it. She pled guilty, and she’s being sent to Pentonville. Willow says she’s sending herself.

Carly tells Jason and Sam that she feels bad for Lucas. She says, there’s nothing worse for a parent than feeling powerless when your kid needs you. Margaux stops by the table, and asks to speak to Jason. They step away. Margaux says he probably knows she resigned. He says he heard her last act as DA was releasing Shiloh, and arresting Harmony, who lied to cover it up. She says she had no choice. Harmony confessed, and there was no evidence to disprove it. That’s not her problem. Actually, Shiloh is her problem. That’s why she came to see him.

Carly wonders what Margaux wants, and tells Sam, it’s great that Jax is back. Josslyn has been having a rough time. Sam is so sorry. She remembers what Carly said earlier, about being a mother, and feeling desperate for your child. The last thing she needs is more stress. Sam knows they’ve had their ups and downs, but if there’s anything she can do, or if Carly wants to talk, she’s there. Carly thanks her, and says, there’s nothing… She tells Sam that she’s afraid something is wrong with her baby.

She tells Sam the results of the CVS test were fine, and she thought she was free and clear, but her last screening indicated there could be a chromosomal problem. It can signal birth defects not detected in the CVS test. She’s spinning. Sam says she has to stop. Stay calm. She wants the baby to have the best life possible, and he will. There are plenty of reasons why her proteins could be elevated. Talk to Sonny, and they’ll work it out. She did tell Sonny, right?

Jason asks Margaux, why not stay and fight? She says her involvement with DOD would compromise the case. She did some digging though, and uncovered a file they haven’t seen before. A DOD member died of a drug overdose; Douglas Miller. Another follower took the blame, even though the death occurred after a dispute with Shiloh in Beecher’s Corners.

Josslyn says she heard Lucy had experienced contact with the other side. Lucy says she’s been known to dip her toe in, but Josslyn’s loss is too fresh. Why does she need help? Josslyn says she felt Oscar’s presence, and saw him at the Nurses Ball when she was singing. Lucy says, no doubt he was there and a comfort to her. Josslyn says, it was, but she never got the chance to say goodbye. She doesn’t even know what her last words were to him. Michael comes by, and asks if everything is okay. Lucy says, dandy. They were discussing how beautiful Josslyn’s performance at the Nurses Ball was. Josslyn says she had help. Lucy asks if Michael got the text. She tells him, if he’s looking for said person, they’re in there, and indicates Kelly’s. He asks if Josslyn is okay, and Josslyn say with the help of friends like Lucy, she will be.

Shiloh gets a text that he’ll need a $10K retainer for the custody lawyer, and pouts. Michael says he hears Shiloh has lost another follower. It’s starting to become a trend. Shiloh says, soon, he’ll be welcoming a new member. He’s sure Willow told Michael all about it. It’s not the first time he’s seen them together. What’s their connection?

Willow tells Harmony, it doesn’t have to be like this. Tell the truth. Shiloh isn’t the man Harmony thinks he is. Does she think he’ll be grateful, and suddenly put her first? Does she think he’ll adore her like she does him? In her heart of hearts, doesn’t she know better? Harmony says Willow never understood. Shiloh is the inspiration for DOD, and her love is unconditional. Willow tells her, wake up. The only person Shiloh loves is himself. Harmony says, Shiloh is a great man, and his work must continue. It’s an honor to help. Willow says they’re talking about prison. Harmony is going to be locked up with dangerous, violent women. How is she going to survive? Harmony says her faith will guide her through. It always has. Willow says Harmony has been a seeker; asking questions and looking for the larger truth. She’s throwing her life away on a lie. Does she really think Shiloh has the answer?

Brad tells Nelle that she should stop thinking about Michael. It would be best for everyone, especially Wiley, if she lets go of the past, and everything that binds her to Port Charles. Nelle says she’s doing laundry, not solving climate change. Seeing Wiley’s picture, she knows he’s loved. Brad says, so if someone tries to stake a claim on Wiley, she won’t interfere? She says cross her heart. He thanks her, and she says she doesn’t want someone else raising him, but she’s been on her best behavior, and could be up for early parole. He imagines she’d want a fresh start; somewhere new and exciting. She says, maybe, but maybe she’d want a part in her little boy’s life. He’d be open to that, wouldn’t he?

Curtis tells Jordan that he loves her. She says she loves him too, and he says, if just one kiss can change the conversation, then two or three… She tells him, stop. They have real issues that require real solutions. If they’re paying these bills, they need to prepare to sacrifice. Curtis tells her, stop thinking about what they’re giving up, and think about what they’re gaining. They can get creative in the kitchen. She wonders what he means by that, and he says they still to need eat, but instead of ordering out, they’ll make their own pizza. They might never see a Broadway play, but they can watch the Port Charles Players. Maybe he’ll sell his truck, and get a bike. They won’t have any gym fees. If they don’t opt for a second mortgage, they can sell the place, and buy a fixer-upper. They can flip it for a profit, and do it all over again. Before you know it, they’ll be out of debt, and closer than ever because they did it together. She says he’s crazy, and he asks if that’s a yes. She smiles.

Brad tells Nelle, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. She still has to do time, and he and Lucas need to do what’s best for their son. Nelle says, our son. It takes a village. Wiley will need a strong female role model. Brad asks if she means that she wants what’s best for Wiley. She tells him that she’s no threat. She’s his greatest ally. Her little angel’s happiness is all that matters. Making sure that bitch Carly doesn’t get her hands on him. The guard comes back, and asks if Brad is ready. Brad thanks Nelle. He says she may have contributed to saving a life. She says, anything for a good cause.

Willow says Harmony believes in Shiloh the myth. Let her tell Harmony about Shiloh the man. He’s willing to let Harmony rot while he takes her grandchild. It’s up to them to stop him. Harmony says she’s given Shiloh everything. Without him, she has nothing. Willow says, Harmony has her. Trust her. There is life after Shiloh. She’ll have the chance start over. Be a real family like they were before DOD. Not just a word or a slogan, but the real thing; mother and daughter. It all depends on her. She has to take the first step, and tell the truth. The guard comes in and says, the van is waiting. Willow says, it’s not too late. Do it for her grandchild and herself. Life has worth beyond Shiloh. As Harmony is led away, she says, goodbye. I bet she flips on Shiloh.

Jason asks why the police can’t revisit the case in Beecher’s Corners, but Margaux says they have no pull in that office. They consider the case closed. He says when he met Harmony there, Shiloh had the cops in his pocket. She says he clearly finds a way to get the law on his side. Maybe it works for them if he’s confident. If he thinks the authorities have accepted his version of the story, maybe he’s not being as careful. Maybe there’s evidence in Beecher’s Corners. She knows for sure, if anyone can crack the case, it won’t be a cop. Nail him for a crime he can’t pin on someone. He asks if she’s helping, and she says if anyone asks, she’ll deny it. He tells her, good luck, and she says, good hunting.

Carly admits she hasn’t told Sonny, and Sam asks, why? Carly says she just found out, and they’re both really busy. Sam thinks if Carly asks, Sonny will make room to talk about the baby. She knows Sonny would be worried. Carly says he has Kristina and Josslyn to worry about, not to mention Lulu and Dante. He doesn’t need one more thing. Sam says her worries are his. Carly says she keeps thinking if she doesn’t tell him, there will be nothing to worry about. Until she knows for sure.. Jason comes back to the table.

Lucy tells Josslyn that she’s deeply sympathetic. It’s great that Josslyn wants closure, but Lucy believes Oscar would want her to live life, not spend it trying to contact him. Josslyn says, if that’s true, why did he come to her at the Nurses Ball. Lucy says he did it at a time when she really, truly needed him. Maybe he’s choosing to not contact her again. Josslyn says she doesn’t know how it works, and needs someone who does. She doesn’t need a fraud who will prey on her grief; she can’t let it happen. Oscar wouldn’t want it either. He wants her to learn to live life without him. Josslyn says, in other words, Lucy won’t help her.

Michael tells Shiloh, Willow is a friend. She has a lot of friend in Port Charles; in the PD and the private sector. One of those friends knows a lot about him, David Henry Archer. He says his name is Shiloh. He needs to get back home. Michael says, about that. He’s renting the house on Brookhaven, right? Michael thinks it’s a nice place, so he bought it.

Willow looks in a mirror, and tells herself that she said she’d fight to protect Wiley with everything she’s got. Michael told her how many people were on her side, and she has every single legal means at her disposal. She says, it’s okay, Wiley. We got this.

Michael tells Shiloh that he bought the house. He’s a Quartermaine, and could buy the whole block, but that seemed excessive. Shiloh says he has a lease, but Michael says ELQ is partnering with domestic violence prevention, and it’s going to be turned into a center. Shiloh gets a notification that $50K has been wired to his account. He tells Michael, good luck breaking the lease. He says when Michael sees Willow, tell her that he’ll see her in court.

Lucy tells Josslyn that she has business to conclude with Michael. She knows if Josslyn is meant to contact the great beyond. She’ll do it. Oscar would want her to be strong. She’s Carly and Jax’s daughter, and Lucy has faith in her. Lucy says they’ll talk again soon, and goes into Kelly’s. Josslyn looks at the séance article on her phone. She reads, death is not the end. It’s only the beginning of a journey we all have to take. Death is the first step.

Carly tells Jason that she and Sam had a nice conversation. It’s great to see the two of them together in public. Carly jets, and Jason asks if something is going on. Sam suggests they let Carly and Sonny handle their own problems, and Jason sits. Sam asks what Margaux wanted, and Jason says he may have to return to Beecher’s Corners.

Jordan says Curtis is right. She’s been given a second chance, and should make the most of it. The bills can wait. He says, whatever it takes to turn their real life into the good life, they’ll do it together. They kiss.

Nelle is introduced to her new roommate. It’s Harmony, who looks pretty nervous.

On Monday, Curtis tells Jordan that they’ll figure out a way to pay the bills, Laura needs Mac’s help, and Valentin wants to buy Jax’s half of Aurora.

🍵 Some Tea with Artificial Sweetener…

No wonder we rarely see Erika’s husband. He’s busy with his own problems.

It’s sad that Kyle felt such pressure to be thin, V8 was her only food. I don’t understand why she heated it up though.

There’s hope for Juicy Joe yet.

📢 Quotes of the Week

Everything popular is wrong.Oscar Wilde

He who angers you conquers you.Elizabeth Kenny

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. – Napoleon Bonaparte

A winner is just a loser who tried one more time. – George M. Moore

If there’s no solution to a problem that you see, it’s up to you to create it.Ayah Bdeir, founder of toy company littleBits

I hold that the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to protection by man from the cruelty of man. – Mahatma – This makes me feel better about naming the tiny spider in my bathroom. Shout out to Arthur!

It takes a lot of money to look this cheap. – Dolly Parton

👨 Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad. – Wade Boggs

👔 And While I’m On the Subject…

A Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers, father figures, pseudo fathers, pet dads, dads-to-be, and whatever other kinds of fathers might be out there!

⚓ My father was the best! This one’s for you, dude.










June 13, 2019 – Willow Is Served, Runway Winner, Changes, an Interview, Custody Question, Wives From New York, Bad Caroline & Icy Friday


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I did it again. Several of my dogs need special (i.e. expensive from the vet) food, and you wouldn’t believe what lunchtime entails. But I digress. I missed the beginning, but it wasn’t much.

Shiloh went to visit Harmony in the clink.

Julian, Sonny, and Brad met outside Kelly’s.

Ryan and Nelle introduced themselves, both of them saying they thought they had recognized the other.

Nelle tells Ryan, welcome to Pentonville. It’s not as bad as they say – it’s worse.

Lulu meets a guy at Kelly’s, who introduces himself as Mark. She says she’s new to this, and he looks exactly like his picture. He says, so does she, which doesn’t always happen. He says his sister twisted his arm, and said if he didn’t make a dating profile, she’d do for him. He must sound like a hopeless nerd. Lulu says no, but she’s guessing academics. He says he’s an associate professor of physics at PCU. No tender yet, but that’s the goal. Lulu says she wasn’t big with school, which is ironic, considering she makes her living as a writer.

Julian tells Sonny and Brad that Lucas was desperate to protect Wiley. He’s the last person Lucas would ask for help, but he did anyway. He guarantees he won’t fail. Sonny says he feels the same way. Julian says if Sonny wants to eliminate Shiloh, he wants in.

Harmony asks Shiloh if he’s sure Willow’s baby is still alive. Shiloh says Mercy hospital confirmed that Willow had a healthy baby boy last July; seven months after the prodigal vanished. Harmony asks where the baby is now, and he says he’s taking steps to find out.

Ryan asks what Nelle is in for. She says, attempted murder, but she was framed. He says, what a coincidence. So was he. She says they have something else in common; more specifically someone – Carly Corinthos. He says, now there’s a difficult woman, and Nelle says, tell her about it.

Carly can’t believe Jax is thinking about publicizing Ava. He says it wasn’t his idea. Nina has editorial control, and she insisted. Carly says he can override her, and he says he thought of that, but Nina has a clause in her contract where she can walk, and she doesn’t need the money. He’d heard she could be impulsive. Carly says, the worst case scenario, Nina walks, but she’s not irreplaceable. He says she’s creative, thinks outside the box, and he thinks with the right guidance, Crimson could be a goldmine. Carly says he’s better off with Maxie. She runs the magazine anyway. He says, it was Maxie’s idea to start with. He hated it, but she’s right; crime and scandal sell, and Ava’s story has both.

Sonny tells Julian not to jump to conclusions, and Julian asks if he’s going for a peaceful resolution. Sonny says he doesn’t discuss his plans. Julian asks what part of Wiley is Sonny’s grandson? and Sonny says he thought Julian wasn’t supposed to have contact. Brad says it was in the original agreement, but… Sonny asks if Brad thinks Julian can fix it. He can’t. Julian says, and Sonny can? Sonny says he’s going to try.

Lulu tells Mark a story about jumping onto the ferry, and he says he’s impressed. She tells him, don’t be. When she was catching her breath, she’d realized she left her laptop on the bench. The ferry wouldn’t turn around, and she had to take an Uber back. The laptop was still there though; what are the odds? Mark thinks for a moment, and says, 750 to 1; depending on the time of day and foot traffic. He tells Lulu, sorry, and she asks why he’s apologizing. It’s amazing. He says, impromptu mathematics is a hobby, or an annoying tic, depending on your point of view. She asks if he compulsively blurts out odds in the movie theater. He says never, but come to a movie with him, and he’ll prove it.

Michael tells Willow that she doesn’t want to make it worse with guessing. Start with what she knows, not, not what she thinks or is afraid of. Focus on the facts. Wiley is her son, and Shiloh is his biological father. Is Shiloh’s name on any certificates? She tells Michael that it says the father is unknown. Michael says she signed away her legal rights, and Brad and Lucas are legally Wiley’s parents. She says she never told Shiloh about the baby, so he still has parental rights. Michael says, only if he can prove a relationship, and there’s no legal way Shiloh can do that.

Nelle tells Ryan that she was pregnant with Carly’s grandchild, and Carly pushed her down the stairs. But she didn’t go to prison. Instead, she went to Ferncliff. Ryan says, of course (🍷). He was in the room next to Carly, and eavesdropped on her sessions with his brother. They were tedious, but ultimately useful. He learned a lot about impersonating a psychiatrist. Carly had a lot to say about Nelle; none of it complementary. Nelle says, all she did was love Carly’s son, and he loved her too, but Carly poisoned him against her. He entrapped her, and she was falsely accused of trying to kill him. Ryan says, poor thing. What became of the baby?

Jax tells Carly to let him pitch her, but she doesn’t want to be pitched. He wants to talk true crime? It’s true Connie was unarmed when Ava shot her at point blank range. Carly heard the recording of Ava’s confession; the recording that conveniently disappeared before Ava could be tried. That doesn’t make it any no less true. Jax says he was originally opposed to profiling Ava, and Carly says, even if he ignores Connie, what about Morgan? Jax says when he was there for the memorial, Carly didn’t know Ava was involved. Carly says, she wasn’t involved, it was Ava’s fault. He says he never actually heard the story from Carly. She asks if it would change his mind, and he says just tell him. She says Morgan did everything to get his life back on track. He was taking his medication like clockwork, he was working, and got back together with Kiki. Ava couldn’t stand it. She said Morgan was too unstable for her daughter, but the truth was, she was jealous and insecure. She made up an excuse to visit Avery, and switched Morgan’s lithium with a placebo. The last weeks of his life, he was unmedicated. He was in a full-blown manic episode when he stole Julian’s car and it exploded. Ave put it all in motion. She whined that she didn’t mean for it to happen, but that bitch is still walking around, and her son is dead. Jax takes her hands, and says he can’t guarantee Ava will be brought to justice, but he can hold her up for the world to judge. Is Carly willing to help him?

Michael asks what Willow said to Shiloh. She says she lied, saying she miscarried. Michael asks if there’s a record of Wiley’s birth, and she says there is. He tells her, under the HIPPA laws, Shiloh has no way to access it. He’d have to prove she had a baby, and that he’s the biological father. For that, he’d need a DNA test, which would have to be court ordered. On top of it, the adoption records are sealed. He’d have to go through a long, convoluted legal trail, and she also has the best lawyers to help her every step of the way. She asks if she has nothing to worry about. He says she has reason to worry, but so does Shiloh.

Harmony tells Shiloh that they need to find her grandson. He says he’s working on it. She says she can help, but he has to get her out first. He says she already confessed, and she says to cover for him. She warned him that Sam was playing him. He agrees he should have listened, but what’s done is done. She says she’s not going to prison for him. He needs to get her a better lawyer than a public defender. He says, in time, and she asks how much time? He says he has to prioritize. The most important thing is to find his son – her grandson. Once they have him, everything else will fall into place.

Brad says, it’s not that he doesn’t appreciate it, but it’s not about Julian or Sonny. It’s about Wiley. Sonny says they’re not letting anything happen to him.

Lulu tells Mark that she’d love see a movie, but… Mark says she’s turning him down. She says she hasn’t been honest. He has no reason to believe her, but under ordinary circumstances, she’d never make a fake profile. This is a one-time thing, and she promises it’s for a good reason. He asks if she’s not a writer, and she says, that part is true. He says, the story about the ferry? and she says, also true. The part that’s not true is her wanting a date. She’s so sorry. He says, him too. It was nice meeting her. She says Lulu is her real name, and don’t let this discourage him. He’s a great guy, and there’s someone perfect for him out there. He says, fingers crossed she’s as perfect as Lulu. He leaves, and Sonny walks over. Lulu is sure he’s wondering about that guy. Sonny asks if he works at the paper, and she says, no. She was having a date.

Nelle tells Ryan, looking back, she never stood a chance. The whole family was against her. They would have taken her baby the moment he was born. Even Ava turned on her. Ryan says, Ava Jerome? and Nelle says she worked for Ava’s gallery. They were close for a while. Ava is smart, beautiful, and has amazing taste. That made it more hurtful when Ava betrayed her. Ryan says she betrayed him too. Ava is like a falcon living among pigeons; a hunter denying her nature. If she would embrace it, she would take flight, free and fearless. He tried to show her, but in the end, she turned on him. Nelle says he must hate her, but he says he could never hate Ava.

Jax tells Carly that he loved Morgan too. He was a great kid, and the only one who drank the smoothies he made, that she and Michael put in the planter; he knows about that. He says Ava was rattling off a list of petty demands, and he blew the deal. He called her out, she got upset, and walked away. Carly says, good riddance. He asks what would hurt Ava more, a few nasty words from him, or her own words for the entire world to pick apart? Carly says she’ll spin everything to make it sound like she’s the victim. Jax asks how she’ll explain being estranged from her daughter in the first place, and how two of her exes were involved with Kiki? Ava is going to expose herself in all her vanity and jealousy, and he can give her an international platform to do it. Carly likes it, but Jax says Ava won’t trust the deal. She needs incentive. What are the chances Carly can piss her off? Ava comes in, and Jax tells Carly, play along. He thanks Ava for meeting him, and giving him the opportunity to make amends. She doesn’t think that’s likely, and Carly asks why Jax would want to make amends with her.

Jax tells Carly that he and Ava have business to discuss. Carly asks, what kind? and Ava says, Crimson. They’re putting her on the cover. Carly asks if Jax has lost his mind. He says he did, but he’s not letting history get in the way of opportunity. Nina helped him to see reason. Carly says Nina can’t stand Ava either, but Jax says, Nina is being non-judgmental. Carly says Ava has no morals, scruples, or class, and Ava asks what Carly would know about that. How many husbands has she had? Carly tells Jax if he wants to put that trash on the magazine cover, don’t say she didn’t warn him. She walks away, and Jax says he’s sure this didn’t help his cause. Can he at least buy Ava a drink before they part ways? He assumes she still doesn’t want to be on the cover. She says she does, and thanks to Carly, more than ever.

Nelle tells Ryan, it’s a horrible feeling. Being trapped in there, while those outside look down on them, telling themselves they won. He says they literally took a piece of him. She says, the hand? and he says, worse. They drugged him, forced him to sign a consent form, and stole an organ from him; a kidney. She shows him her scar, and says hers was stolen too. That’s a pretty good twist. I hadn’t even made that connection between them.

Michael tells Willow, in the unlikely event there’s a custody fight, Wiley is in a happy, stable home. It wouldn’t be in his best intentions to give him to a total stranger. Shiloh is up on fraud and sexual assault charges. Willow says the charges were dropped, but Michael says, he’s a sexual predator. He’s going to keep repeating the pattern until he gets caught. Willow says he makes it sound reasonable, but Shiloh isn’t reasonable. He turns things around, and gets people to do things for him. Like her mother. She’s his right hand. Michael tells her not to assume everyone is like her mother, and Willow says, don’t assume everyone is like him. They’re lost; feeling inadequate and looking for something, someone, to validate them. Shiloh finds them, and uses them. She has no right to judge. She let him do the exact same thing to her, but not anymore.

Shiloh tells Harmony that he has an excellent custody attorney, but it’s expensive. He needs to take money from the offshore account, and she has to countersign. He takes out his iPad. Harmony says the funds are for future generations at DOD. He’s the one who teaches one great gift deserves another. He asks what she wants, and she says she wants them to raise her grandson together. Even if Willow doesn’t come back, she wants to know she can trust him, and they’re united in this. He says, of course (🍷). Now, more than ever, they’re bound together. He takes her hand, and says that’s why she needs him to find the baby, the greatest gift. She signs, and he thanks her. She’s looking skeptical, but tells him to tell her when he finds the baby. He says she’ll be the first to know.

Lulu tells Sonny, it’s for a story she’s writing. She’s trying to catch a burglar. He’s been preying on women looking for love. He sets up a date, and while they’re waiting, robs their home. Sonny asks if she’s setting herself up to be robbed, but she says she’s setting herself up to be stood up. She has no intention of dating. It’s just a ruse to draw out the burglar. He asks if there isn’t anyone else who can write it. Somebody not married.

Ava says, vodka martini, shaken, not stirred. How did she know that was Jax’s drink? It’s hers too. He’s sorry about the unpleasantness, but she says Carly is responsible for her own behavior. She’s like a dog with a bone. Jax says they’re there to talk about Ava. He asks her to give him a chance to salvage the deal. She wants the parameters clear. She doesn’t want to be pigeonholed as a femme fatale. Try suffering the way she has; being judged by hypocrites, saying she deserves to lose Kiki. She hates the word karma. He says here’s her chance. Ava says she’s made her own mistakes, and paid with interest. Take her as she is, or the hell with him.

At the hospital, Carly’s OB tells her that the test results are in. Without getting technical, they came back positive. Her protein is elevated. Carly says, okay… She thought she was already in the clear. The doctor says that this test addressed some areas the CVS test didn’t, and there’s a risk of possible birth defects. Carly asks, how serious?

Willow tells Michael that she changed more than her name. She stopped being passive. She made a choice to fight, and she’s going to protect the baby with everything she has. Michael says Chase is too, and him, and Diane, and Alexis. They’ll use every legal means at their disposal, and if the law fails, there’s always his father. She says she knows the stories, but come on. What does Sonny really do. He says it’s better not to ask, but he’s had his fair share of enemies, more powerful than Shiloh. They’re gone, and his father is still there, and he owes her a debt. She doesn’t want to sound ungrateful. It’s comforting, but also alarming. He tells her only focus on the things she can affect, and leave the rest to God. She asks if he follows his own advice. He says he tries, but that doesn’t mean he always succeeds. Ice cream helps. A walk in the park, watching the sunset. Ideally, all three. They missed the support group, but he knows an awesome stand. Is he moving in on Chase? She knows it, and says she loves the soft serve. He says he’ll put a message in with his grandmother, and they can go. He starts walking away, and a woman approaches Willow with an envelope. Before Michael can intervene, Willow takes it, and the woman says she’s been served. Michael tells the woman to leave before he has her escorted out. Willow asks, what just happened?

Brad asks Julian if there’s no chance Shiloh will find Wiley. Julian says he’d have to prove Brad and Lucas are the adoptive parents, and the proof doesn’t exist. Brad says, so they’re safe, and Julian says, to a point. If Shiloh discovers Willow isn’t Wiley’s birth mother, all bets are off.

Lulu tells Sonny that she misses Dante. She gets lonely, but has no desire to date anyone. She should have let Mark know right away. He was sweet and nice, and she has to admit it was nice having someone pay attention to her. She guesses she didn’t realize how much she missed Dante.

Jax tells Ava that she gets final approval on the stylists and wardrobe. She asks about content, and he says Crimson picks the questions, but the answers are hers. Their readers will get the full picture of Ava, before and after Ryan. They’ll have to address Kiki’s death, and her quest for revenge, but nothing will be out of context. It’s her chance to tell her story. Finally, the world is going to know the real Ava Jerome. She signs

Nelle tells Ryan, Carly only cares about her own daughter being healthy and strong. Never mind that Nelle’s kidney is keeping her that way. She has no gratitude or loyalty. It’s the worst kind of use. They hide behind respectability, and use people like them for spare parts. Ryan says, something feels like it’s not a coincidence. Them both being there, robbed of their freedom and kidneys. Fate brought them together. They’re supposed to help each other. She says, maybe he’s right. He says he has a sense for these things, and he senses they’re going to be very important to each other.

The doctor tells Carly, the test is just a screening tool. They need to fine tune the results to find out what they’re dealing with. She suggests a next level ultrasound, and Carly tells her to schedule one as soon as possible. The doctor says she’ll set it up. The best thing Carly can do for herself and her child is not to panic, and focus on living her life. There’s a very good chance the baby is healthy. Carly says she’ll try.

Sonny tells Lulu that Dante would be there if he could. She knows, but he didn’t ask her to wait or promise to come back. What is she supposed to do? How long can she live like this, married to a man she might never see again? Sonny says only she can answer that, but whatever she decides, they’ll always be family. He promises.

Julian asks Brad if he’s absolutely sure the birth mother is out of the picture, and won’t show up to stake a claim. Brad says, there’s no chance in the world. Julian says he’d better be right. Unlike Shiloh or Willow, the birth mother has legal grounds for custody, and nothing in the world will outweigh a DNA test.

Willow tells Michael, it says she has to appear. Michael looks at the document, and says she’s been subpoenaed; the plaintiff is Shiloh. Shiloh appears, and stands there looking at them. Michael moves toward him, but he smiles and walks away.

Tomorrow, Josslyn needs Lucy’s help, Brad visits Nelle, Jason says Shiloh is panicking, Margaux tells Shiloh that he’s setting himself up for a colossal fall, and Shiloh says he’s just getting warmed up.

👗 On the Catwalk…

It was the Project Runway finale tonight, and Hester said winning would validate that she has a place in the fashion world. I think she’s going to have a place regardless. Garo had seventeen looks because he likes to have options. First, the designers picked ten models. They would also get three dressers, and had the option to go to Mood (the fabric store) with $300, but the time would be taken out of their work time. Christian said they had to decide between time or resources.

Hester ended up including her red, Nina inspired eleventh outfit in her final pick. She thought it wasn’t about how many garments, but how great the garments were that you had. She thought Garo had too many options, and it wasn’t project how-many-garments-you-can-make way. Marni Senoforte came back to give the contestants inspiration. She thought Garo was punk rock meets elegance. I concur. She told Sebastian there were too many details on his outfits. I didn’t think that was possible, but I understood what she meant when she explained you didn’t know where to look. Diane von Furstenberg, who was also a guest judge, demanded requested an audience with the designers before the big show. I always get her mixed up with Gloria Vanderbilt, and then think of Anderson Cooper. Tonight was no exception. She told the group that the most important thing was to be true to yourself, and true to what you believe in. That way, if you make a mistake, at least it was for what you believed in. She said, moments of failure become your best souvenir. I’m not quite sure what she meant by that. Maybe a souvenir of how hard you tried, and what a pita it was to get there? She said their real shelter and strength was inside themselves.

Garo removed the judges’ favorite – a silver beaded dress with leather detail – from his collection, and Christian almost had a coronary, but Garo thought there was too much sparkle going on. Hester told us that she’d spent her life fitting into boxes that other people gave her, and came in with a vision. Garo wasn’t sure if one of his models lost weight, or he screwed up remembering her measurements, but he was sewing at the last minute, and having to redo a zipper, which ended up not looking smooth. He also had to air cut something that had gotten torn. Christian couldn’t look, and I couldn’t either. I am the worst with scissors, especially if it’s fabric. Something, maybe coffee, got on one of Sebastian’s dresses. In this case, it was good that the dress was white, since they were able to use a bleach pen to get it out. You can’t do that with red. Hester had her three dressers dressing her instead of the models, since it was showtime all too fast.

Sebastian’s collection was first. I have no clue if they did a coin toss or what. His collection was called Reminiscence, and was inspired by his life in Columbia. I noticed Elaine shaking her head at an outfit after I’d’ just thought, ooh, I like that. Oh well. He had some great pantsuits, but the models walked with one hand in a pocket, which I thought looked strange even for a runway. He had a lot of silky stuff with open weave leather. Sebastian said he had trouble telling a story, but did with his collection; a story about his culture. DVF said he had a definite style. Afterwards, his models group hugged him when he started to cry. Garo took us on A Detour Through My Cosmic Mind. I love his stuff to begin with, and this was the best of his best. I would totally wear his hoodie sweater dress. His clothes are out there, but the average person could still wear them. He’s kind of Betsey Johnson meets someone, but I don’t know who. Oscar de la Renta? David Bowie? Karli and Brandon caught the zipper mess right away

Hester called her collection Cyber Rococo or Y2Kcoco. DVF said it was wild. I love Hester’s stuff too, and would definitely wear it. She said she wanted to create things that don’t exist already, and I think she accomplished that. She wanted her pieces to be, funny, naughty, and wearable. DVF said Hester was talented, which I assume is high praise from such an icon. Hester felt like she created a fashion revolution. Marni said she didn’t have a favorite collection, but favorite pieces from each. Yep, me too. Although some outfits were more wearable than others, everything was brilliant.

After the show, the judges deliberated the same way they always do, talking to the designers first, than among themselves. It was agreed that Sebastian was about refined streetwear that every woman could wear. Hester led with her most astounding piece – what Brandon said was Marie Antoinette Clueless – and Nina said that she didn’t follow through on the same power level. In other words, if she’s going to lead with something that fabulous, whatever follows had better equal that or more. It was unanimous that Garo be the first one out. Brandon said they longed for the beaded dress like a cousin you love, but only see once in a while. Nina said Garo got caught in the weeds of fabric and shine, and missed the big picture. She said there was a tightrope between art and commerce that Sebastian walks splendidly. They loved how Hester wears her own designs, and Elaine thought the generation coming up likes know the persona behind the fashion. Nina said she could sell Hester in a minute. Honestly, if I didn’t know already that her clothing will be out of my league pricewise, I would buy it in a heartbeat.

Sebastian was the winner, although the judges said all three designers would be going places. Nina was proud of the story Sebastian told, and said he was the personification of the American dream. They celebrated, with Sebastian drinking champagne straight from the bottle. His first interview words were, f**k! I win this! and indeed he did. He said he would always have a story to tell. At the end of the show, Christian told us that new designers were on the way.

📅 While I’ll miss Project Runway, there’s been a time shift with some of the Bravo shows. Southern Charm will be moving to Wednesdays at 9 pm, and The Real Housewives of New York City will be taking the Runway slot, Thursdays at 9 pm, starting next week.

👠 The After Runway Party…

How Elaine got her groove in the first place.

👒 Charming Mom…

It’s time Thomas let Kathryn have full custody.

🗽 In the New York Groove…

LuAnn needs to get her act together. And I don’t mean her cabaret act.

I like Tinsley, and think she should stick around. She’s genuinely ditsy and good-hearted, and I think brings a bit of a balance to the show. I also like the mama drama with Dale.

And I definitely don’t want to see her replaced with this woman. I also like Barbara. As she said herself, she’s different. It’s good to mix it up with the personalities.

Oh no she didn’t. Ramona has no business commenting on my adoptive mother my BFF LVP.

🎁 The Gift That Keeps On Giving…

Caroline left a big impression for her brief time on Deck.

💫 There’s No End…

I suppose it should be no surprise that there’s an endless amount of songs about Friday. Who wants to sing about Tuesday? Warning: bad words ahead.







June 12, 2019 – Ryan Wakes Up, Bethenny Loses It, Live Anniversary, a Charming Pillow Party & Young Time


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I missed the beginning, but it was nothing important, so moving on.

Ryan asks where he is. Valerie tells him, the Pentonville infirmary.

Curtis tells Jordan that he thinks it’s enough for today. Stella says Curtis owes her a coffee. He asks, for what? and she says, for convincing Ryan to donate his kidney. The lightbulb comes on, and he says he’ll be back. Jordan can’t imagine Ryan feeling e empathetic. It’s not making sense why he agreed. Why would a merciless killer choose to save her life? Doc walks in.

Ryan asks how he got there. The last he remembers, he was at GH. Finn says fogginess is normal after transplant surgery. Ryan asks what he’s talking about. He doesn’t remember any surgery. Why is he in so much pain? Finn says he’s feeling some discomfort, but Ryan says it’s excruciating in his abdomen. Finn says he’ll have a look, and checks under Ryan’s bandage. He says it must be the surgical site where they removed his kidney.

Nina says Ava already agreed, and Ava says, in principle. She knows Nina is excited about the possibility of landing her story, but words are not binding. She has yet to sign a contract. She tells Nina not to worry. She hasn’t received any competing offers since this morning. Nina says if she wants to take her story to the silver screen, have at it. She has full rights. Ava says, no business will be done until she reads the fine print. You never know what little tricks could be lurking. Nina says there are no tricks, but Ava says, better safe than sorry. Jax walks in, and says they’re not planning starting without him, are they?

Drew asks Kim if she’d like a liquor nip, and she says, maybe later. She’s feeling wiped out. He says, Kilimanjaro will do that to you. She says seeing their sons ashes just floating in the wind… She has no words. Drew asks if she wants to watch the sunset from the balcony, and she likes that idea. She wants to freshen up a little first. She tells him she’s feeling out of it, and collapses.

Drew sits on the bed next to Kim, and tells her that she fainted. He had the concierge bring a doctor. Does she remember? She says, not really. He asks if she knows where she is, and she says, where? He says, Tanzania. For Oscar. She says, Oscar’s there? He tells her the doctor said she needs rest. Just go to sleep. She’ll feel better in morning. She says, no, she won’t. When she wakes up, she’ll remember Oscar is gone.

Josslyn looks at Oscar’s old texts. She texts, I miss u and I love u. A text comes back, I miss u. I love you too.

Nina says she wasn’t aware that Jax was planning on attending the meeting. He says he’s very hands on. He tells Maxie that Josslyn is in the front office, and asks her to show Josslyn around. Maxie says, maybe later, but he thinks now is a good time, and she says, okay. Nina says they’re just waiting for Ava to sign the contract. Jax says, the ball is in her court, and Ava says, it appears so. She looks at the contract, and says, oh dear. Nina asks if there’s a problem, and Ava says, problems. Plural. She think they should take a seat. She’ll start with page one, line one.

Curtis tells Stella that he’ll be glad to put this place in his rear view. Valerie steps out of the elevator, and Curtis says, thank God. What’s the word on Pentonville?

Elizabeth and Franco leave Jordan to talk to Doc. He asks how she’s feeling, and she tells him, ask her when she’s not dragging and IV around. She’s happy to be alive. She asks if he’s spoken to his brother, and he says, before the surgery. She says, not since? He tells her that he said everything he had to say when he asked Ryan for help. Jordan says, and he refused. Doc says, Stella had better luck. Jordan wonders what she was able to say that Ryan’s own brother couldn’t. He says him talking to Ryan was doomed from the start, but he had to try. Ryan would do anything to spite him, but he was more receptive to Stella. Jordan would like to speak to Ryan herself. Doc says he understands the impulse, but it’s impossible. Ryan is in a coma, and has been remanded to Pentonville. She asks if he’ll wake up, but Doc doesn’t know. She asks him to help her up.

Curtis asks Valerie what else Ryan remembers. She says, it’s what he can’t remember that concerns her. Joran comes up, and Curtis asks what she’s doing up. She asks why he didn’t tell her that Ryan was in a coma? Does anyone want to tell her what’s going on? Valerie says, Ryan is awake, and Jordan says, good. His victims and their families deserve their day in court. Anything else? Valerie tells her that he’s been saying crazy stuff. Jordan asks, what kind of crazy stuff?

Nina doesn’t think Ava will like what she might find elsewhere. Untrustworthy editors, and ass kissing stylists. She’s not going to fawn over Ava, but she’ll be fair. If they follow the plan, she thinks they’ll put out a story that benefits the both of them, and the readers will be satisfied that they know the real Ava Jerome. Ava says, all her life, she’s been defined by her mistakes, and treated as less than. She gets up, and Nina asks if she doesn’t want to reclaim her narrative. Now’s her chance. She’ll get even-handedness, and the opportunity to tell her story her way, in her words. Jax says it’s ironic that Ava is concerned about preserving her integrity and her voice, since Connie Falconari has neither, thanks to her.

Maxie asks if Josslyn is okay. Josslyn says, sorry; she was just reading something. Maxie says Josslyn can talk to her, and asks, what’s going on? Josslyn says, this, and shows Maxie the texts. She says, whoever is reading them can’t be Oscar. She was actually going to delete the contact, and sent one last text. Someone is reading them. Maxie says, eerie. Josslyn looks again, and says, his dad. Of course (🍷). More texts come in, and she says, it’s Drew. Drew texts that he found Oscar’s phone in Kim’s suitcase. He didn’t know she still had this. They miss him too. He’s at rest on the Kilimanjaro summit. His greatest wish was for her to be okay. She says she can’t read anymore, and Maxie take the phone. She reads, it’s a hard thing to be, isn’t it? How can they be okay without Oscar? They have to try, and they’ll help her if she helps them. Maxie hugs Josslyn.

Kim rubs Drew’s shoulder. He says he’s sorry, but she tells him, it’s okay. He never has to apologize for showing his feelings. Drew turns to her, and she sees Oscar smiling.

Valerie tells Joran that Ryan acted like he was surprised, saying he never consented. Stella says he clearly gave his consent. Jordan says Doc is quiet, and Doc says he was afraid this would happen. Ryan is hoping to mitigate his crimes, and realized diminished capacity is more effective. Stella asks if he’s going to use this as part of an insanity defense, and Doc says, what better way to prove he’s losing time and was suffering from a fugue state when he donated the kidney? Jordan says, there’s no way in hell Ryan is getting out. She tells Curtis to get the ball rolling, and get to the bottom of this. They all leave, and Jordan calls Chase. She says she needs him to run down a couple of things, and be sure to keep them to himself.

Ryan says GH removed his kidney without consent, but Finn says his signature is on all of the paperwork. Ryan says, impossible. He never would have agreed. Finn says it’s normal to have gaps in memory. After his little chat with Stella, he saw the light. Ryan says he barely knows Stella. He never would have agreed, especially not to Jordan. That kind of sappy, selflessness… Kevin. It was him. Finn and his brother conspired to steal his kidney.

Ava tells Jax that his negotiating tactic is failing. Nina apologizes on behalf of Crimson. Ava says this is unprofessional, and Nina says she wants to define parameters. She wants readers to have a clear picture of her. Jax asks if that includes Ava’s body count. He was a personal friend of Connie’s, helping her build the magazine from the ground up. The magazine is Connie’s legacy, and it means a lot. This used to be her office, but Ava knows that; she killed Connie there. Ava says she doesn’t need to be reminded. It was a horrible night. Jax says maybe the readers need to be reminded. Nina says Jax doesn’t speak for her, and Jax says he speaks for the dead; a brilliant woman who was robbed of her life. At least she saw it coming, since Ava had a gun. Morgan wasn’t so lucky. He had no idea she was messing with his medication. Since they’re publishing her story, he wonders how Ava is planning to answer those questions.

Franco tells Elizabeth that Friday is the four month anniversary of their jailhouse wedding. It’s been even longer since their earthquake non-wedding. He thinks they should seize the day, barring any natural disasters or false arrests. They’ve talked about having a proper celebration, but there will never be a perfect time. The world isn’t going to stop spinning, even for them. He wants to publicly acknowledge a celebration of their marriage, family, and future. She thinks he might be right, and he tells her to brush off her dancing shoes.

Drew tells Kim, the side effects from the drugs the doctor gave her could cause confusion. She holds his face in her hands, and says she sees right through him. Just like she could his father. He should have seen his father m in navy uniform should have asked stick around maybe ll needed reason stay written told him about o maybe could have had chance to be a family the three of them or more can he imagine a little brother or sister drew says yeah o that would have been something she’s sorry he deserved more fam than gave him can he forgive he

Josslyn tells Maxie that she never got to actually say goodbye to Oscar. She never really said the words before he died. She was there when it happened, but she was asleep. When she woke up, he was gone. Maxie takes her hand. Josslyn says she keeps thinking about what could have happened if she’d stayed awake and talked to him, but missed her chance; he’s gone. Maxie says she can bring him back.

Kim tells Drew/Oscar that she’s sorry she failed him. Can he forgive her? Drew touches her face, and Oscar says, there’s nothing to forgive. She’s all the family he ever needed. She reunited him with his dad, and they all came together like she wanted. Kim says they almost made it, and he says, almost. He tells her, get some sleep, and she lies down. She asks if he’ll be there when she wakes up. He says he’ll always there with her. She asks if he promises, and he says he does. She closes her eyes, and Drew cries a little. I’m getting teary just editing that.

Josslyn says, bring back? Does she mean like spiritually? Maxie says, yeah. It sounds a little… Josslyn says Sonny told her how he feels sometimes. How the ones he’s lost stay with him. Maxie asks if Josslyn has ever felt that way. Josslyn says when she was singing at the Nurses Ball, she looked out in the audience, and swears Oscar was right there. She wishes there was some way to get that feeling back. Maxie has some ideas.

Nina tells Ava that she’s so sorry. Ava says she’s used to it, but not when person hurling insults wants something from her. Nina suggests they take a breather; settle down and get some fresh air. They can revisit this. She tells Ava the contract has a lot of wiggle room, and she can address Ava’s concerns. Ava calls it a hatchet job, and says she’s not giving Crimson her story. She has a little piece of business advice. A bait and switch should happen after the bait is swallowed. Nina says it’s a legit offer, but Ava says, hard pass, and leaves. Nina looks at Jax, and he shrugs.

Curtis tells Jordan that he has a call in to the warden. A visit will be arranges as soon as she’s ready. She says they need to talk. He asks who she was on the phone with, and she says Chase. He says she’s not supposed to be working, and she says she’s not. Chase just made a few calls on her behalf. Ryan always knew he’d be put away, and would never willingly part with his kidney. What if someone forced him to? The cause of the seizure was never identified. Curtis says it was probably an adverse reaction to medication, and Jordan says, maybe, but maybe it was intentional. We flash back, then see the scene unfold as she talks. Curtis asks if she’s suggesting someone poisoned him. Who would do that? She says, someone who wanted to see the transplant go through. Someone who could get in and out without arousing suspicion. Someone trained. He says everyone who went in was logged. She doubts they acted alone. They would have needed a lookout. We see Finn administering the shot, while Valerie stands at the door. Curtis says she’s got a conspiracy theory going. Ryan was poisoned, then what? How did that lead to him consenting to donate his kidney? We see Elizabeth and Finn with an unconscious Ryan. Jordan says Chase confirmed the tests occurred, and it was ruled a one-off, but what if it wasn’t? Ryan went to ICU, where he was switched out. What if it was Doc? He would know how to impersonate Ryan; he’s been doing it since childhood. If anyone could forge Ryan’s signature, it would be his twin brother. Chase is tracking Doc’s movements. Curtis says Ryan didn’t have surgery until the next morning. He had plenty of time to speak up. She says, unless he wasn’t switched back until right before he went to the OR. They could have put him where he wouldn’t be disturbed while everything was taking place. We see Finn and Elizabeth wheeling Ryan down the hall. Curtis asks if she thinks Franco is in on this. She says, why not? He hates Ryan, and he was working that night and morning. The records show Franco canceled his art therapy appointments because he spilled toxic material in the therapy room. Curtis says, making the room off limits. She says, and somewhere to stash Ryan. Curtis says maintenance would have had to go in there, but Jordan says, maybe they were working with someone familiar with the GH system, who redirected the maintenance crew elsewhere. He says that’s one hell of a plot, and kind of improbable. She says, it’s a stretch, but as smart as the conspirators are, there’s still one thing missing – someone to dream it all up. We see Doc, Finn, Valerie, Franco, and Elizabeth sitting together. Curtis joins them, and asks if they’re all in. They nod, and he says, good. This is how he sees it playing out. Jordan says, they need a ringleader.

Kim calls for Drew. She tells him that she’s groggy, and he says altitude sickness did a number on her. He asks what’s the last thing she remembers? She says they were going to watch the sunset. He says, that’s it. He’s going to get her water and some breakfast, and she says, okay. She snuggles into the blankets, and says, a little brother or sister. Can you imagine?

Josslyn asks if Maxie has actually done anything like this before. She hasn’t, but she knows Lucy is super into this stuff. Lucy says there’s no guarantee it will happen, but if she needs to get in touch with Oscar one more time, why not give it a try. They look at an article about séances online.

Nina asks what possessed Jax to go off on Ava like that. He admits it was unprofessional, but she says he doesn’t make mistakes like that. He’s the shark of all sharks. She says, that’s it. He says, what? and she says he’s been playing her. He wants to see her fail. He says he only proposed budget modifications, not even cuts. She says it will eventually lead to lower sales, which lead to layoffs, and then the death knell. Jax says he lost his temper, and Nina says, ya think? He asks what she wants him to do, and she says, go to Ava. She doesn’t care what he says. Just get her to sign.

Ryan says Finn did this. Finn and his brother. Finn tells him not to pop a stitch. Ryan says he’ll pay Finn and everyone else back. No prison ever held him, and one day he’ll get out. It’s only a matter of time. He’ll come for each of them, one by one. Finn asks if he knows just what he sounds like – crazy – and leaves.

Curtis tells Jordan, it’s quite a theory. Does she have proof to back it up? She says she could go looking, but it’s next to impossible. If the ringleader is who she thinks it is, there’s no way they’d leave evidence. He says, smart woman.

Someone with a laundry cart goes into Ryan’s room. He says, well now. Don’t I know you from somewhere?

Tomorrow, Ava says take her as she is, Shiloh says the most important thing is to find his son, Sonny tells Brad that he’s not letting anything happen to that little boy, and Nelle tells Ryan, welcome to Pentonville.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Bethenny asks Tinsley if Brett called, and Tinsley shows her his text. It says if she can escape later, let him know. He’ll take her for a down low drink. Tinsley asks what that is, and Bethenny says, somewhere not so crazed. She needs to talk to Sonja, who decided to stand on a glass coffee table the night before, and almost broke it, in addition to breaking a glass. We see a clip of drunk Sonja, and Bethenny in mom mode, saying she’s not playing games. Bethenny says it was too close to the night before, and too erratic. In her interview, Bethenny says she wants Sonja to enjoy herself, and not ruin the party. Bethenny is feeling like a top getting wound up.

Bethenny tells Sonja that the other night was relatively scary, and she’s genuinely worried. Sonja almost put her foot through the glass. Sonja says she was just being funny and dramatic. Ramona suggests less drinking, less drama. Sonja thinks Bethenny is being overly concerned, but Ramona thinks it’s a wake-up call. Bethenny suggests Sonja go with LuAnn to an AA meeting. It’s like free therapy. LuAnn is glad sge;s not only one who’s noticed. Someone else has finally taken the blinders off. Sonja says Bethenny is coming from a place of compassion, but LuAnn is coming from a judgmental place. Bethenny tells LuAnn that Sonja doesn’t want to hear it from her. In Sonja’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to go, and doesn’t think she’ll benefit from it; but if Bethenny and Ramona think it’s the proactive thing to do, she will.

Trainer Derek works with Barbara. Tinsley tells Ramona that Brett is off limits. Ramon says he’s not for Tinsley, but Tinsley says, it doesn’t matter. She can still kiss him. In her interview, Ramona says that no one is off limits unless they have a ring. They’re free game, In Tinsley’s interview, she thinks Ramona should take her ass back to Harry. She has this one. She brings up a picture of Ramona and Harry swallowing each other from the TMZ website. LuAnn says that’s not kissing; it’s sucking face. Dorinda says they’re suction cupping each other, and in her interview, says they were exchanging tonsils. Bethenny says they were having sex with mouths. At this point, you shouldn’t have to see the picture to get the picture. And really, you don’t want to.

Sonja comes out in a lacy top, and LuAnn says she looks fabulous, but she doesn’t think it’s appropriate for a meeting. In her interview, LuAnn says it’s AA, not Club Med for singles. Tone it down. Sonja goes to change, and Bethenny says Barbara doesn’t seem happy. Barbara says no one is interacting with her. She knows she’s different from them, and that doesn’t mean they can’t have great time together, but she feels like she’s doing it by herself. Ramona suggests she’s not bonding with the others because she’s giving off those vibes. They can feel the negative energy. Bethenny agrees she’s been a bit of a Debbie Downer. LuAnn says people pick up on the energy, and she and Bethenny say, it’s everything, together, which was kind of weird. In Barbara’s interview, she says she’s been on her own. LuAnn hasn’t helped her. She’s checked out, and is only worried about herself. Bethenny thinks Barbara wants leave, and Barbara starts to cry. In her interview, she compares it to being dropped off at camp, standing by yourself, seeing the mean girls nearby. That’s exactly what it feels like. Bethenny says LuAnn relied on Barbara, but now LuAnn doesn’t seem to be there for her. Barbara says she feels alone, and Bethenny tells her to start talking to people. Get her bathing suit on, and get in the game. Bethenny hugs her, and LuAnn says she’ll meet Sonja by the front door. Sonja mumbles that she doesn’t really want to go, and calls LuAnn a bossy bitch. Like she’s the first alcoholic who walked the earth. She meets LuAnn, and in her interview, Sonja says she had to change, and LuAnn’s skirt has a slit up to her who-ha.

Ramona says every day is Saturday in Miami. Coming back from the meeting, Sonja tells LuAnn, the cutest guy there tried to pick her up. In Sonja’s interview, she says she was cringing inside at the meeting. The whole time she felt helpless, and it only made her feel worse that she can’t help them. LuAnn was in her element. In the car, LuAnn asks what Sonja thought, and Sonja say she’s not into it. Like the guy who said he’s isolated. She’s isolated in her own head. In her interview, she says she can’t let their stories go. She plays them over in her head, and it makes her upset.

The women go to a cabana by a pool and the beach. Bethenny asks if anyone is hungry. Sonja changes her clothes in the car. Dorinda says she hasn’t eaten since yesterday at lunch. LuAnn and Sonja join them, and Barbara asks if they spoke. Sonja says LuAnn did. It’s another opportunity to get on the stage. Ha-ha! I couldn’t have said it better. Sonja starts fretting about everything being wet in the cabana. There’s sand all over. LuAnn says, they’re at the beach. So of course there’s sand. Sonja tells Bethenny this isn’t working for her. In Bethenny’s interview, she says she understands each meeting is different, and thinks where they went triggered Sonja in some way. Bethenny says they’ll leave. They move out, and Sonja wails about everything being wet. Dorinda says, that came out of nowhere.

Ramona asks, what happened? and Sonja says she didn’t like the meeting. There were people talking about living in the street. It’s like when you take the subway because you can’t get a car because it takes so long. If there was a camera here, this is where I’d stare blankly at it. She says she feels bad for the people. LuAnn likes to talk, telling them about getting arrested and getting out of the handcuffs, and she makes people laugh. It makes Sonja sad. It’s ironic that she’s in a happy place, but she feels alone in the process of her daughter’s life. Her daughter’s dad is getting old, and won’t be there forever. She feels overwhelmed. Bethenny suggests getting food to go. Sonja says she’s having a great time in the house. She can’t be where they are after what she saw. LuAnn asks, how about a swim? In her interview, Dorinda says LuAnn is in need of a hearing test. Can she not hear Sonja is upset? Give the swim a minute. Sonja gets weepy, and LuAnn asks if she wants to go to the beach. In her interview, Bethenny says, LuAnn has sequin earmuffs on. She’s not aware of her surroundings. LuAnn says she’s going for a swim. She’ll see them back at the house. In her interview, LuAnn doesn’t understand where this is coming from. Dorinda tells Bethenny that LuAnn just kept talking about going to the beach. Bethenny says LuAnn is devoid of humanity.

Sonja says she doesn’t like talk, but you need to get the hook for some of the people. Dorinda says, whatever works, and Bethenny says, if it works, keep working it (an AA saying). Everyone forgot about the food, and Ramona calls LuAnn, leaving a message for her to bring truffle fries back. Bethenny decides to make crabcakes. LuAnn sits in a beach chair. Bethenny says Sonja had a breakdown at the pool, and Ramona says LuAnn is so insensitive. Dorinda says she’s more worried about getting to the beach than Sonja. She wanted Sonja to go to the meeting, but then doesn’t hold her hand afterwards. In Sonja’s interview, she says she was upset that LuAnn was the only one who didn’t check on her after she fell. Now she needs to go to the beach. LuAnn should not just be with her, but with the group. Ramona toasts to Bethenny, and Sonja for having a meltdown.

LuAnn looks at the poster for her upcoming show, and grins at herself. In Bethenny’s interview, she says LuAnn’s favorite topic is LuAnn. Of course she’s want to visit her poster. She’s not aware that they’re full of the LuAnn buffet. LuAnn grabs some stranger to take a picture of her by the poster. Ramona tells them about LuAnn saying everyone is jealous of her success. Barbara says, she did not. She can’t believe LuAnn left her. It’s making her realize LuAnn is not really present; not for either one of them. She’s seeing the light. Bethenny toasts to Barbara feeling included. She tells Barbara that LuAnn was scheduled for a massage, but she isn’t there. She tells Barbara to take her place. Ramona says LuAnn has been absent all day. You snooze, you lose.

Two hours later. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she’s happy to be out of the house needed time clear head and chill (and look at herself). When she comes back, she finds Sonja and Dorinda waiting for massages. She say she’s glad she went to the beach. Sonja says everyone wondered where she was. They didn’t think she’d spend the afternoon there. Dorinda tells her that Sonja felt emotionally broken down, and thought LuAnn would spend time with her. LuAnn is shocked because Sonja seemed fine in the car. Sonja says she bring up some things, but LuAnn didn’t want to get in deeper. LuAnn says Sonja talked negatively about something she cares about. She says Sonja really went for Bethenny, and should go for herself. Don’t do her any favors. Sonja says it was a rough meeting, and LuAnn tells her not to judge. Sonja says she’s not, and LuAnn is judging her. Open her eyes. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she struggles between wanting to hug and kiss the old LuAnn, and be horrified at the new one, Sonja says she’s not an attention seeker like LuAnn. She likes to make people laugh so they feel better, LuAnn is a diva, but a good diva. LuAnn is like, okay, cool.

Bethenny gets her period, and says it’s a dry county there when comes to tampons. Barbara uses some self-tanner, and makes the white rug look like a crime scene. Tinsley says she and Brett have been talking all day. She shows Bethenny the texts. Brett says she’s adorable, and sends a kissy face. Bethenny sends a text to him, asking him to meet at a restaurant, and he can go when her friends come. Tinsley says she doesn’t know who’s meeting him now. In Bethenny’s interview, she says alcohol is its own excuse for Tinsley to call Scott in the middle of the night, and start the cycle again. Dorinda tells Bethenny that LuAnn was pissed because there was no massage table in her room, and she’s pouting. In her interview, Bethenny says, you can’t swim, visit your billboard, pray at the shrine of yourself, and be first in line for hair and a massage. Pick a lane. Ramona says she’ll check on Sonja, since LuAnn doesn’t give a sh*t about her. Bethenny says they’re taking two cars to dinner anyway. In her interview, Ramona says she’s not saying they’re not justified, but it’s not nice to leave LuAnn to get there on her own. Ramona makes a remark about Tinsley going on a date rather than spending time we them. Another blank camera stare from me.

Tinsley finds out Brett is in law enforcement, and tells him about her mug shot. She babbles about her mother, and says she might be okay with just chihuahuas. That’s good, because she might end up with just chihuahuas. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

LuAnn gripes to Ramona that everyone got their hair blown out, and Ramona says, first come, first served. Ramona texted LuAnn earlier, and she didn’t respond. Getting in the car, Sonja says the air conditioning makes her poop, and Bethenny tells her, stop bragging. LuAnn says she’ll be three minutes. Ramona can’t believe the other women didn’t wait. She and LuAnn get in the car.

The first car gets to the restaurant, Barton G, and Bethenny wants a date update. She peeks in, and tells he others that Tinsley is kissing him already. Brett tells her, enjoy the night. In her interview, Tinsley says she’s no other kind of slut, she is but she is a kissing slut. Bethenny says, tell her everything, and Tinsley says they had fun. She likes him. Bethenny is dying; she so can’t believe it. Sonja thinks kissing on the first date isn’t a great way to start, if you want to get married and have babies. Um… really? LuAnn says she’s stressed out; she was the last massage on the list. She got one, but it was rushed. Dorinda says she wasn’t there. LuAnn whines that the hairdresser left. She’s always last, but it doesn’t matter. We all choke a little. In her interview, Dorinda says the hostess of Bluestone Manor wasn’t around to make arrangements for the Countess. LuAnn shows them her Instagram, with the picture of her in front of the poster, and tells them she’s still promoting the show.

They get menus, and LuAnn orders crabcakes. In Dorinda’s interview, she says they had them for lunch. If LuAnn is ordering the crabcakes she missed at lunch, she should order the truffle fries she didn’t bring them back at lunch. Bethenny has ordered some things ahead, including a special mocktail for LuAnn. Barbara tells LuAnn, there’s something that’s upsetting her. She doesn’t know if LuAnn remembers or acknowledges it, but when she was in rehab, Barbara legit stopped her life for LuAnn, but she doesn’t feel like LuAnn’s had her back. She was upset today. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, the potion has worn off, and the hangover is gone. Barbara has an opinion, and this time, maybe it’s not favorable. Barbara says she just wanted a hug. LuAnn wants to give Barbara a hug right now. Bethenny says she’s cutting Barbara off. She doesn’t want Barbara to get her thoughts out. In Bethenny’s interview, she says LuAnn forgot to give Barbara the Kool-Aid, and it’s wearing off. Maybe some will seep into Barbara’s pores, and she’ll get back in the cult. Barbara tells LuAnn that she feels that sometimes her relationship with LuAnn is more important than LuAnn’s with her. Bethenny was hugging her while she was crying, and telling her that she didn’t feel engaged with the group. Dorinda says Barbara was too busy taking care of LuAnn, instead of engaging with them. In her interview, LuAnn seems to think they’ve been brainwashing Barbara. Barbara says she’s been protective of LuAnn; she’s protective of the people she loves. LuAnn says that’s not her fault, but Tinsley says LuAnn let Barbara do that for her; protect her and be her shield. But she never stood up for Barbara. Tinsley trips over her words a little, and LuAnn makes fun of her, and that she’s drinking. When the rest of the table reacts, LuAnn insists she just didn’t understand what Tinsley said. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, when LuAnn started making fun of Tinsley slurring her words, it just hit her sideways. She asks LuAnn who the eff does she think she is? And calls her insufferable.

Tinsley says, yeah, she’s drinking. So what? At this point, the other patrons are starting to look at them. Tinsley says LuAnn didn’t see how much Barbara was hurt because she left. LuAnn says she goes for a swim, and look what happens. She has to be careful leaving the room. In her interview, she says, how selfish of her, going for a swim. She wonders if they built her up just to tear her down. She struggles every day, and it’s to put up with this bullsh*t? Bethenny asks when was the last time LuAnn asked her how she’s doing about Dennis? LuAnn says when was the last time Bethenny asked about her? It’s reciprocal. Bethenny says she asks all the time. She says LuAnn is intolerable; she’s never changed. She’s dining out on her sobriety. In her interview, LuAnn says that’s a low blow, basically saying she’s using her sobriety as a crutch. It’s insensitive and cruel. Actually, I took it to mean she’s profiting from it. She wonders if Bethenny thinks it’s easy, and says Bethenny is bully strong. Bethenny says Dennis helped her. LuAnn asks if she’s the only one who hasn’t checked in, and someone says they all have. Ramona says LuAnn is self-absorbed, which is mind-blowing coming from Ramona. LuAnn says she’s persona non grata, but Sonja says if they didn’t love her, they wouldn’t be upset. LuAnn says this isn’t enjoyable for her, and Bethenny says, because it’s true. She did an intervention for LuAnn, and her guy died of an overdose. LuAnn never even asked how she is, because LuAnn is always going through a lot. Life is not actually a cabaret. It didn’t have to come to this, but because she’s so self-absorbed, this is where they are. LuAnn tells Bethenny, look at yourself, and Bethenny tells LuAnn, look in the mirror. She’s never asked about Dennis. Bethenny starts getting loud, saying every second is about LuAnn.  She had no massage because she’s an a-hole who couldn’t even have lunch with them because she had to look at her own poster. Ramona starts to cry, saying LuAnn is missing Bethenny’s pain. It’s so sad. Bethenny says she had lawyers come in on a Sunday. She sat outside in LuAnn’s driveway to make sure she didn’t crash her car. LuAnn was running in a field in her negligee, and had to be taken in a cop car, but Bethenny made sure there it wasn’t on record so she wouldn’t be arrested. She’s a sicko, who left rehab early. The rehab that Bethenny got her for free. LuAnn says she had to work, and Bethenny says, it was cabaret. In her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t think this is entirely about LuAnn. Bethenny has a lot on her plate, and she doesn’t know how much this is about Dennis. Bethenny can’t take the frivolity of the bullsh*t anymore. This is making me want to cry. Bethenny breaks down, bawling, and LuAnn looks totally dispassionate.

Next time, Bethenny wants to go home, and doesn’t want LuAnn near her; Ramona talks to LuAnn about Mario; Bethenny says Dorinda’s new place has no evidence of John; and LuAnn records a new song.

🙊 I almost died laughing when tonight’s secret word on Watch What Happens Live was cabaret. Dorinda and Sonja were guests stars. There will also be a week of special episodes, starting Sunday, June 16th, at 10 pm, celebrating the show’s tenth anniversary.

Southern Charm

Kathryn admitted to in her interview that she’s not always as communicative as she should be, as but she has a lot to deal with in constantly having to prove herself, so she’s not apologizing for it. As they made s’mores by the fire, Danni wanted Kathryn to know she had her back. Cameran was a little hungover, and wondered how the coffee bean grinder in their fairytale treehouse was magical. She told Chelsea, it was both relief and anxiety to leave Palmer. Some days she wished she was the one going to work, since being a mom was a job with no paycheck. Kathryn felt betrayed by Danni, who made her feel bad about herself. On the pillow front, Craig said he was not a good waker upper. Me neither. Assistant Anna told him, getting up, having good solid day, and not being hungover was the way to go. Pillow orders were piling up, and she said they were eventually going to need help eventually. Craig had the brilliant idea of a pillow party, where he would Tom Sawyer his friends into making pillows. Shep said the only thing he knew to do with a pillow was passing out with one under his head. Hanging out with Naomie – who gave a hard pass to the pillow party – Chelsea didn’t know if they were making pillows, sitting on pillows in a circle, or having a pillow fight.

For whatever idiotic reason, Austen had made a habit of talking smack about Chelsea to Madison. Now that they were broken up, Madison was sending the screenshots to Chelsea. Finding out about it during his haircut, Shep told Craig, he didn’t know what worse, the cheating or the screenshots. He thought that Madison was diabolical, and should write a book on warfare. The guys thought about renting an RV, and taking a road trip to do an intervention on Austen. I wasn’t sure for what exactly. Screwing up relationships? Naomie thought Chelsea should confront Austen, and Chelsea agreed that she couldn’t let it go too long without it being addressed. Danni met with her mom, and they talked about boring stuff.

Austen’s father told him, in business, expect something going wrong. Making a note of that. In his interview, Austen explained that his original brewer was too expensive, so he shopped around. He found what he thought was the one, and production came to a halt because of a needed part. His father said the devil was in the details, and the details had just bit Austen in the ass. Austen felt judged by his parents, saying in his interview, that they were his biggest cheerleaders, but also his biggest pitas. His dad asked about Madison, and Austen said their relationship was non-existent. His dad asked if Austen sabotaged relationships, and told him, to be happy was to be at ease with himself. Austen said he wasn’t at ease because he wasn’t where he wanted to be in his life.

Madison visited Patricia, and they had one of Michael’s famous bourbon sours. If LVP is unavailable, Patricia is a close second for my adoptive mother. Patricia said she’d known Madison for ten years, and had mentored her, giving her advice on marriage and divorce, being an expert. She didn’t want to talk at the salon, since Charleston is a small town. Madison told Patricia about the break-up, and explained revenge sex. Patricia said, in her day, they had revenge marriage, which made more of an impact.

Kathryn met Craig at the fabric store, and immediately broke into tears. She didn’t know how she was going to explain the charge against Thomas to the kids. Craig suggested making her a pillow, and they fabric-ed it out. In his interview, Craig told us that he thinks he looks cool in eyeliner, and the girls like it. He also said not a lot of straight males were in the home business, but I’m not so sure about that today. Cameran, the first guest at the pillow party, said it looked like Craig was wearing eye makeup. When he said he was, she was like, par-tay! She was hoping Whitney would get contacts, since she can never look at him now without thinking of Kathryn saying he kept his glasses on during sex. Everyone was shocked that the pillow party was really a ruse to get them to make pillows. Whitney wondered how anyone could be passionate about pillows, and Shep didn’t think Craig would be retiring on old pillow money.

Patricia joined the group, saying she usually left the kids’ parties to the kids, but she had a soft spot for Craig. He could be a knucklehead, but an endearing one. Cameran pointed out that in the South, they hug and kiss, and pretend everything is fine, even if they want to claw each other’s eyes out. Chelsea confronted Austen, who said the texting was a drunken moment. She told him he could take his drunken whatever, and shove it up his ass. It couldn’t be an excuse, and it wasn’t just one time. It went back months. She asked why he was talking about her boyfriend and sex life to his girlfriend. The group inside could barely contain themselves, straining to hear. Craig said it was finally happening. Chelsea was letting Austen have it. Chelsea said Austen must be bitter about something, and he says he felt railroaded by some things she said at the reunion. She said those were things she’d talk to him about up front, and there was no reason to be discussing her sex drive or how tall her boyfriend with his girlfriend. Shep explained to Patricia what Austen had done. Austen told Chelsea that he was embarrassed and apologized. She forgave him, but said things would get ugly if it happened again. Shep said if Austen got back together with Madison, he was disassociating himself. When Chelsea and Austen came back inside, Austen chugged bourbon from the bottle. Patricia and most of the others got out while the getting was good. Shep thought Austen needed a reset, and suggested a trip to Nashville.

Kathryn found Chelsea and Danni talking about her in the kitchen, and was pretty miffed even though it wasn’t anything horrible. She blew past them, and Danni followed her, wanting to have a mature conversation. She told Kathryn not to be fake; Danni had been a good friend. Kathryn told her to eff off, and Danni split. Craig asked if it was something that happened on the camping trip, and Kathryn said kinda sorta. Chelsea found Danni crying outside. Danni told Chelsea that she’d been a good friend to Kathryn, and we saw clips of that. Chelsea insisted they have a conversation, but Kathryn didn’t want to. Shep told her that she couldn’t get angry at genuine concern, and called her an effing child, at which point, she walked out.

Next time, Cameran interviews someone to help her with Palmer, Danni says Kathryn has trust issues, we meet Kathryn’s new squeeze, and the guys begin their road trip.

⏰ It Flies…

Whether you’re having fun or not. How the blip did it get to be 3:30 in the morning?




June 11, 2019 – Shiloh Freaks Everyone Out, Justin Goes To Jail, Beverly Hills Invades France, LVP Pride & Stuck


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny tells Jason to give it a minute, but Jason doesn’t want Sam blindsided. Sonny tells him they can hate Shiloh now, and worry about it later. Jason says Sonny heard what he did. He drugged Sam until she couldn’t say no or fight. Franco drugged Sam, and he couldn’t intervene. He failed her then, and doesn’t want to wait. Sonny says they can plan it, but they just can’t do it now. They’ll get it done, but not this way, with anger and on impulse. Jason will end up in prison. Is that what he wants for Sam and the kids? Jason says, no, and Sonny says, then he’s got to wait. It’s for a reason. He doesn’t mind getting rid of Shiloh, but they have to do it right for everybody’s sake.

At Charlie’s, Shiloh asks for coffee. The waitress says she just saw Julian ask him to leave. Shiloh says, you can’t build a bridge without coming down the river. (Huh?) It’s just a coffee. She goes to get it, and he looks through the hospital list. He makes a call, asking to speak to someone in the birth records office.

Maxie asks if Peter has heard of hygge. He says, it’s the Danish word for warm and cozy. Maxie says they wanted to introduce it to American readers last year, but it didn’t happen, so she’s prepping for the October issue to make up for the missed opportunity. Peter says, by October, it should be enticing. I’m thinking Crimson wouldn’t be this behind the times, and isn’t there a new Danish word in vogue now? Maxie says Nina wants pick out everything, so she’s putting the elements in a large pile. He sees a pile of pillows and blankets, and says it will be warm and cozy in the office. He tells her that his weekend is cleared, and asks if she want to visit Robin in Berkeley. She looks at her calendar, and sees Peter’s surprise birthday party. She says her schedule is like an avalanche meets a tsunami meets some other insurmountable thing.

Chase visits Willow at her classroom. The classroom that’s always devoid of children. She says the school year is almost over. It snuck up on her. After she was told she wasn’t invited back, she didn’t want it to end, but here they are. She says she has feelers out in the Port Charles area. She tells him that she spoke with Diane, who reminded her of how many people are fighting for Wiley. Chase says, Wiley has an army. She says Shiloh thinks she had his baby, but without proof, there’s not much he can do, especially from jail. She sees his face, and asks, what’s wrong? He hates tell her this, but the charges against Shiloh have been dropped, and he’s been released.

In her session, Alexis tells Neil, Shiloh is the gift that keeps on giving. The real reason Willow left DOD was because she was pregnant, and didn’t want him to know. Unfortunately, she gave the baby up for adoption, and didn’t tell him. Now he knows, and he’s seeking parental rights. Neil asks how this connects to what they were talking about, and she says, just wait. One of the adoptive parents is her client, and also happens to be Julian’s son. Neil says, the clouds part. She says Julian came to her and asked her to help his son by whatever means possible.

Sam gets a call from Jason, and asks, what’s up? Jason says he wanted to let her know that Shiloh was released and the charges were dropped. She asks how that’s possible, and he says he’ll explain later, but she needs to keep an eye out. He might come after her. She walks into Charlie’s, and says she’s looking at him now. Jason asks where she is, and says he’s on his way. Sam walks past Shiloh, and this moron gets up and follows her. He says he’s glad she’s there. He wanted to look her in the eye when he told her this. She wonders what else he could possibly have to say to her, and he says he’s sorry. Seriously? Is that the best he can do?

Willow tells Chase that she doesn’t understand. They had proof. Chase says one of his followers claims she’s the one who drugged Kristina and Sam. Willow says, Harmony. Her mother, and Shiloh’s biggest fan. After he left, Harmony stopped by to tell her that she doesn’t believe Willow lost the baby. She said she was Willow’s only hope to broker peace, and she should tell Harmony where the baby is for her own sake. Chase says, or what? and Willow says, Shiloh is devious enough to think of something. Chase asks if Harmony threatened Willow on Shiloh’s behalf, and she says someone had to. She says Chase probably thinks there’s a sacred bond between a mother and child, but for her, there isn’t been. Chase says he’s been a cop long enough to learn that. She says her mother chose her over Shiloh, but it’s not personal. She chose Shiloh over everyone, including herself. Now she’s going to jail for him. Harmony brought her to DOD in the first place, and gave Willow to him. Now she’s choosing his freedom over hers and Willow’s.

Shiloh says he’s sorry Sam believes what’s being said, but now he understands why she was upset at the hospital. She says he drugged her and tried to have sex with her without her consent. He says she may have been drugged, but it was Harmony who did it. She says, oh, he’s blaming Harmony. She didn’t carry Sam up the spiral staircase when she was passed out or started fondling her when she couldn’t resist. Or did he think she was just relaxed? He swears he’d never do anything without her permission. Many people saw them together, and saw how she reacted to his presence. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. She’s attracted to him. She’d like to teach him a lesson. When a person can’t say no, they can’t say yes. She did not consent. He says he’s sorry for the misunderstanding, but at least the person responsible has been arrested. She says, just like Daisy with the crazy emails, and he says, exactly. Now they’re bearing the consequences. It’s behind them, and now they can look forward and continue the journey they started.

Kristina finds Sonny (once again in the kitchen), and he asks what’s wrong? Does it have something to do with Shiloh’s release? He promised she didn’t have to be afraid anymore, and he’s keeping that promise. Didn’t she feel things were on track when she got up this morning? Just because Shiloh was released, that doesn’t change anything. Kristina says she knows Sonny hates him. She does too, but she doesn’t want him to die.

Kristina tells Sonny that she knows she made a mess of things. He tells her not to blame herself, but she says it was her fault. She’s grateful for the forgiveness, but she has to own what did. She was stupid. Some guy said she was awesome, and could be more awesome if she did what he said. She should have known better. He says she’s not the only one, but she says she’s Sonny daughter. She’s Alexis’s daughter. She should have learned by now. She survived Kiefer and what happened to Trey. She’s in her twenties, and already a widow. She doesn’t understand why she didn’t learn from those tragedies.  She didn’t listen to him or her mom, but listened to her own insecurities. Sonny jokes that she should blame her mother; she married Julian. She says, don’t make her laugh, and he says he’s serious. He believes in her. He always will, and will never stop. She asks what reason she’s given him, other than being his daughter. He asks how much time she’s got, and she says, more time than he needs, but it’s nice of him to say. Sonny says he’s a nice guy; everyone knows that. She appreciates everything he does, but he has to stop fixing things, especially this.

Neil says, so Alexis’s ex came to her for help, and she took umbrage with that. She says it’s not the asking for help. It’s by whatever means possible that concerns her. Julian is supposedly on the straight and narrow, but has no problem compromising her ethics. Neil takes it she said no. She says he even had the gall to point out she can be more flexible when it serves her. Neil thinks when people break rules, it’s usually for a selfish reason, even if it’s for someone else. They get something out of it, or it’s not worth the risk. She says her thinking this way hasn’t led a moral high ground. Julian said that when they got Kristina out of the cult, Kristina didn’t ask for help, and they didn’t ask permission. If she could kidnap Kristina, why can’t she help his son? Neil says she sounds angry. She says she is, but Julian is probably right.

Peter asks if Maxie wants to grab a bite to eat. She wishes she could, but Nina is pitching Ava for the cover, and working out the details. She’s in the long stretch at the office. Back to work. She asks if he spoke to his mom, and if she has any idea where Dante is. He says he hasn’t been able to pin her down.

Shiloh says, now that he’s apologized, is Sam going to honor her promise to help him heal? She says she did promise that. She lied. She lied to get what she wanted, like he did. One thing she admires is his skill at a long con. He says that’s her area of expertise. She says, it could be, but she didn’t bring him here. She calls him Hank, and says he came there looking for her. It made him happy, thinking he had her, and she wanted him. Please. Who does he think is really running the con now? Her or him? He grabs her arm, and Jason appears. He tells Shiloh, careful. His next move could be his last.

Shiloh asks if Sam is as good a liar with Jason as she is with him. Does she make promises to Jason like she did to him? Sam says when she makes promises to Jason, she keeps them. He says, what a bond they have. It doesn’t matter. He’s a father. There’s a little baby waiting for him to find it. Sorry, he can’t stay and play. He tells Jason that he also reminded the police that Jason attacked him. He told them that Jason or Sonny might come after him, due to the misunderstanding. if something happens to him, even by accident, they’ll come looking for Jason. Jason says he’ll keep that in mind, and Sam says, good luck with that. Shiloh leaves, and Jason asks if Sam is okay. She says she is. She’s glad she doesn’t have to pretend to believe in Shiloh anymore.

Chase asks Willow if her mother has always been devoted like this. Willow says, with all her gurus and cult leaders? No. They never captivated her. It’s partly due to her dad. Chase says she never mentioned her father, so he assumed he wasn’t part of the picture. She says that’s her fault. It hurts too much to explain, so she glosses over it. It wasn’t fair to her dad, and he did try, over and over. She says he was a little more skeptical. Shiloh was the first person to convince her mother that he had the answers. Chase says, one of his hardcore followers, but Willow says, not hardcore, but she believed Shiloh was sincere, and that DOD was dedicated to helping and doing good deeds. Her mother loved every minute. She was a strong, fierce, badass woman because Shiloh said she was. They joined as a family, but before too long, her mother was all about Shiloh. He came between her and her dad. In Harmony’s eyes, her dad was weak, and Shiloh was Superman. He used Harmony to take advantage, but everything really changed when he created the Trust. There are no men in it, and Harmony was the first woman invited to join. After she slept with Shiloh, it broke her dad. Chase asks, what happened?

Kristina says she loves Sonny. He got her out of DOD – even if it was kicking and screaming – and she’s grateful. She sees DOD and Shiloh for what they really are. She says he always comes to her rescue, and Sonny says, that’s what dads do. She says she thought they were supposed to make sure their kids could fend for themselves. Sonny says, that’s with sons, and she says, sexist much? He says mothers do it with their daughters, and spoil their sons. Fathers do it with their sons, and spoil their daughters. It’s like the circle of life. Kristina says she needs him to try something different. No more getting her into colleges, offering her jobs, or paving her way. He needs to let her stand on her own.

Alexis tells Neil that Julian was completely inappropriate, but he inspired her to take moral inventory. He asks what she found, and she says some things he already knows. The big ones, but there’s a list of smaller, embarrassing things that featured prominently in the smear campaign when she was running for mayor. He can find them online. He says he’ll be sure to look those up. She says she had a shift in perspective about Kristina. She wonders if Kristina thinks she’s so ethically challenged, that she’s more dangerous than her father, and that’s why she made the Pledge about her. Neil says, it’s possible. What is she planning on doing? Alexis says, nothing. She’s listening to him, and letting it rest. It’s not easy. Even if the Pledge has been neutralized, Shiloh knows, and she’ll always be thinking about it. What would Neil do if his daughter knew something about his life that could ruin him? He tells her that their time is up. Alexis thought they had a few more minutes. He tells her that he’s paid to treat her, and talking about his private life is not part of the program.

Peter says it’s obvious how much Lulu misses her husband, and he understands Maxie is dumping focus on that or work, but tell him what’s really going on. She says Dante being away from his family is part of it, but she’s worried he’s not coming back. Peter tells her, for Lulu’s sake, why not trust herself again? Why not give Dante time to heal? It can take years sometimes, but give them room to breathe. She says they don’t need room; they need to get a room, and help each other make a stronger bond. She tells Peter, you don’t give up. Not on love.

Willow tells Chase that Harmony got her dad kicked out of DOD. Not long after, he… She starts to cry, and says, he passed away. That’s when Shiloh wanted her to join the trust. Chase asks if her mother was okay with that, and Willow says she wanted to score points with Shiloh by offering her daughter to him. But when he started to favor her, her mother was furious and jealous. When Harmony tried to stand up for herself, Shiloh told her that she was reacting from an evil place. Harmony may resent the man she loves for sleeping with her daughter, but she can’t deny him. Willow is sure Shiloh was livid when Harmony couldn’t give him any information about the baby. Her confessing to his crimes is her way making of it up to him.

Sam tells Jason she’s sorry. She knows he wanted to handle Shiloh. Jason says they know how it would have turned out. Sam says, she got a tattoo; she let herself be drugged, and almost raped. She doesn’t want this to be like last time. Jason says Shiloh will never touch her again. He’s going to make sure of it.

Maxie tells Peter that Lulu deserves to know her husband is safe. Why not let her look? Peter says Maxie isn’t married to Dante; she needs to respect Lulu’s decision. Maxie says Dante loves his family, but needs to know Lulu still holds him in her heart. She assumes he sees it differently, and if they can help him gain sight about how much they love each other, they should do that. Peter thinks he knows where she’s coming from.

Chase says Willow has done everything in her power to protect Wiley. She says but Shiloh still thinks the baby is out there. Running will make him think she has something to hide, so she’s staying put. She wants to make sure she has no connection to a living child. She goes into her purse, and says, this is all she has. The one moment he was hers. She shows Chase a hospital bracelet with Baby Boy Tait on it, and says she can’t risk keeping it.

Shiloh tells Shawna in the birth records department that he knew she was a kind person. He’s hoping to get his sister off the streets. She says she’s kind of a fan. She read his book, and is familiar with DOD’s work. The world needs more people like him, reminding them that they’re here to take care of each other. He says he’s glad his message spoke to her. He writes something down, and she says they don’t usually give out information. He says, normally, they’re not inclined to give out personal information on DOD residents, but he’s worried. He thought she might see her way clear to bend the rules a little; help someone in need. She says she’ll see what they have on his sister, if anything. He says ever since she ran away, she’s been using the alias Willow Tait. He hopes he’s not overstepping, but she’s give him comfort. Her being there seems like a sign he’s in the right place. She says they do have a record. She was admitted in July of 2018. He says she has no idea how much joy this brings him. I know there are exceptions to every rule, and that people break rules, but it annoys me when they do something that’s this unbelievable. It would have been a better choice to have him get her out of the room, and find the information himself. I’ve worked at a clinic, and there’s no way in hell he’d get this information, especially just walking in off the street. I don’t care what book he wrote.

Sam tells Jason it was her risk to take. He says he still has nightmares of being locked in a room, watching what Franco did to her, and he can’t get to her or stop it. He wakes up, reminding himself it was years ago, and memories fade. He thinks it’s because he didn’t do anything to save her. Deep down, he’s afraid it will happen again. Sam says he has to tell her these things, and he says she never asked him to change because he’s afraid, and he’s not asking her to change either.

Sonny asks if he can get Kristina an apartment. She says, no, and he says, a car? She says, tempting, but no. He says, what about a small business? She’s like, come on, and he says he’s teasing. He’s proud of her, and doesn’t want her to see him getting emotional. She says she can’t rebuild her life knowing her mistakes drove him to commit an act of violence. He says his choices are his own, and she says she’s not questioning that, but asking him to honor hers. She chooses not to have Shiloh’s blood on her hands.

Alexis goes back to Neil’s office. She says she doesn’t mean to barge in, but feels uncomfortable about how they left the last session. He knows about her, but she doesn’t know about him. She’s sorry to upset be accidentally invading his privacy. She doesn’t know anything except what he’s told her, or she looked up online. He appreciates her apology, but she asks if he accepts it. He’d like to request that she honor doctor/patient boundaries.

Maxie tells Peter that she’ll make order out of chaos until Nina descends on the office again. He lies down on the pillows and blankets, and she asks if she should move the props. He says, don’t, and she says he looks comfortable. She joins him, and he says he was thinking about what she said, how it’s important to let the people you care about know how you feel. Maxie says that’s why it’s important that he knows how she feels about him, so he’s not guessing. They kiss, and he says she’s the first person to ever teach him what love is. He still doesn’t exactly know what do about it. She says, it’s okay. Love is kind of her thing. He says he noticed, and she says, to be honest, she thinks he’s getting the hang of it. They kiss some more.

Chase tells Willow that he’ll hold on to the bracelet. When Shiloh is no longer a threat and she’s safe – which he promises will happen – he’ll give it back. She says she’d like that very much, and he hugs her.

Shiloh tells Shawna, sorry. He knows he shouldn’t ask, but does she know why his sister was there? No specifics. He just wants to know is she’s okay, and that it was nothing life-threatening. She says, on the contrary. She had a baby. He says he has a niece or nephew, and she says, a healthy baby boy. I say, fire her ass immediately, and he says, fantastic. He can’t wait to welcome his nephew into the family. I’m fuming, since not only would they never give out this information, if she read his book, wouldn’t she know that he doesn’t have a sister?

Sam asks Jason to tell her something. He says, it depends, and smiles. She says, seriously. When he has nightmares, if she’s with him, wake her up. If not, please pick up the phone and call her. He asks if she still has nightmares, and she says, sometimes. He says she can wake him up, and he’ll remind her that they survived. She says, they did, didn’t they? She loves him, and feels safe with him. He says he loves her too, and they kiss.

Jason’s phone rings. It’s Sonny, who says, about their conversation earlier, put the project on hold. Jason is sorry to hear that. Sonny is too, but that’s what it has to be for now. Kristina smiles at Sonny. Sam says, it sounded like bad news. He says, Sonny doesn’t want him dealing with Shiloh. She says, it’s not that bad. If Shiloh disappeared, Jason would be the prime suspect. Jason says, Shiloh needs be finished, one way or the other. Sam says, okay. They’ll figure something out. They’re good at that.

Tomorrow, Maxie says Josslyn can talk to her, Ryan wonders how he got there, and Kim collapses.

The Haves and The Have Nots

There’s no money in the account. Hanna says, his damn sister. Benny says, the money was just there. The officer says, now it’s not. He asks where it is now, and she goes to check the records. Benny doesn’t think it was Candace. If she had the money, she would have given it to him. She said she didn’t have it, and he wants to give her the benefit of the doubt. Hanna says they’ll see. She says, both of the families are going to be after him now, but he tells her, hang on.

At the Artisian, RK goes to Scott’s room. He tells Scott the others are on the way. He suggests Scott take his clothes off. Scott says, him first. He asks if Scott wants a drink, and mixes one. Scott hears the President Elect stayed there; that’s pretty cool. RK gives him a drink, and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Rocky. Scott asks if they do drugs. RK says they like to party. Scott takes out what looks like an eye-drop container, and says they have to try this. When he puts it in his drink, if it changes color, someone is trying to drug him. He puts some in, and his drink turns blue. RK says, damn maids. Rocky is sure it’s nothing. Scott says there’s a nice cozy pub in London where Rocky can get a job, and speaks into a microphone on his collar, asking someone to come out. Broderick enters the room. Rocky says he’s supposed to be covering the bar, and Scott says, he’s not. They’re under arrest. Broderick says Scott knows everything, and Scott says they’ve been running a prostitution ring. Broderick says he’ll talk. He tells Rocky and RK that they don’t know how much Scott has on them. RK says, arrest him; he has nothing to say. Scott says if they testify against Candace, he’ll let them go. Rocky asks what he wants to know. She’s done a lot of evil things, and beat hell out of him. RK tells him, shut up, and he says RK is always on her side. Scott says if RK walks out, he’ll be arrested. RK says, fine. Scott radios his men to take RK out the back door. He doesn’t want to attract attention. I start wondering if Scott is the same character from Too Close To Home, since a lot of them worked for the government, but I look it up, and no.

RK jets. Two guys come out, and he really jets. They fly after him.

Scott says Rocky knows her. He said she beat hell out of him. Someone radios Scott, and he says, what? Find him now. He asks Rocky and Broderick, where did he go? He got away. The other two don’t know, and he tells them, think. Broderick says he told Scott everything. Scott says if RK calls her, the deal is off. Broderick says Scott told him that if he talked, he could walk. Scott says, change of plans. He’s going to have them both deported, and put on the terrorist watch list. Broderick says, that’s not what they agreed on. Scott says, Broderick thinks he’s a man of his word? He’s there to win, and get it done. He leaves. Neither one of them know where RK is. Broderick says he’s just going to go, and Rocky is like, damn!

Hanna wonders what’s taking so long. Now she’ll have to call Kathryn. Benny says he’s not scared of that dude, but he doesn’t want that fool thinking he stole his money. Hanna asks why he’s so calm. Did he do something with the money? He says, no, but she thinks he’s too calm about this. She calls Candace, and leaves a message to call her back. Benny says she and Candace just got in a good place. Don’t accuse her. Hanna says she’s just going to ask, but Bennie says, don’t go blaming her. The officer comes back, and says the money was wired out. They’re trying to find out by who. They got a reverse notice from the delivery bank to send it back to where it came from, the Cryer Company. Hanna says, so it went back; good. Benny asks, when? and the officer says, a few days ago. He says, it doesn’t make sense, and Hanna says she’ll call them. The officer leaves. What really doesn’t make sense is how lax this bank is. The officer had said they were actually $4000 overdrawn. This happened a few days ago, and they didn’t let the account holder know?

Kathryn calls Broderick, who tells her the hotel has been busy. She wonders why he’s being so formal, and he says he has to call her back. She asks, what’s going on? but he won’t tell her. He hangs up, and someone else answers when she calls back. She’s told Broderick just left. He walked out, and didn’t say where he was going. She gets another call, and it’s Hanna. She says they’re at the bank, and the money was reversed back to the account; the Cryer Company. Kathryn says Jim didn’t tell her, and says she’ll call Hanna back after she talks to him.

Jim sees Wyatt, and asks if he’s high. I’d say so, since he barely understands Jim is there. Jim asks, what the hell did he do? and smacks him. He asks where Wyatt got drugs, but Wyatt is too out of it to answer. Jim says don’t make him toss the room. Kathryn calls for Jim, and he says their son is high. She asks where he got drugs. Jim has no idea, but he got them somewhere. Kathryn says, let him sleep it off, proving she doesn’t understand the difference between drugs and alcohol. Jim says, he’s high as a kite. She says there’s nothing they can do now, and she has to talk to him. He tells Wyatt, stay there, like Wyatt can even get up. Kathryn asks if Jim has $8 million waiting. Hanna just called, and said it’s already in the account. It’s been there since last week. Jim says, no, and she tells him, call Lloyd. There was a reversal back to the Cryer Company. He says that’s not his company; she’s playing games. He says he’s getting to the bottom of it, and Kathryn says, don’t go near Hanna or her son. Jim says he’ll do what he has to, but Kathryn means it. Leave them alone. He storms out, and she calls him an a-hole.

Charles tells Candace that he just has to pack some personal things. She says, speaking of which, what is this? She picks up a photo, and shows it to him. He says, it’s nothing. She laughs, saying, it’s something. Is it him? He nods, and says he was a kid. She says, he danced?  He tells her, there was a time when he wanted to be breakdance champ. She asks how old he was, and he says, sixteen. Thank God before camera phones. She doesn’t believe him, and asks if he can still do it. He says, it was a long time ago. She says she has to see this, and he says, no, she doesn’t. She says she does, and puts music on, shoving him off the couch. He dances for her, ending with the splits, and it’s pretty impressive. She applauds. He says he’s rusty, and I say, I thought he was Charles. BA-DUM-CHH! Candace says he really can dance, and he tells her that she’ll never see it again. The President shouldn’t be doing that. She says he’s a different kind of President. He’s the cool one.

Not-Landon comes in, and Charles says, he didn’t see that, right? Not-Landon says, no, he didn’t, but Candace says, he’s lying, and he says he is. Charles has a phone call, and Candace says she’ll go upstairs so she doesn’t hear top secret information. Not-Landon tells Charles, it’s getting worse. Charles asks where Landon is, and not-Landon says, on the phone. Charles doesn’t even say, hi, how are ya? He tells Landon, let him make one thing clear. If the story hits, and Landon can’t spin it, he’s fired. He told Charles that’s what he’s good at. He hangs up, and not-Landon says, he tried to. Charles says, did he ask not-Landon anything? Not-Landon says, no sir. Charles says they have to get out to DC. Not-Landon suggests a flight back to Savannah for Candace, and Charles says, did he ask not-Landon to do anything? Not-Landon says, no, but he thinks it’s best. Charles thinks it’s best not-Landon do what he’s told. Methinks not-Landon is going to be on the unemployment line along with Landon.

At the police station, Veronica watches a group of thugs being brought in. The last one gives her the eye, so I assume these are the guys she hired.

Jeffrey gets ready to leave David’s house. David asks where he’s going, and Jeffrey says he’s not staying there, but he’s not going back to Justin. As long as David is with Veronica, he means it. David says, it’s different. Jeffrey knows how angry he is. He wants to take the law into his own hands. Jeffrey says, then do it, and David says he won’t for the same reason Jeffrey pulled that boy off Veronica. Jeffrey says he didn’t want to see Justin get hurt. David says he doesn’t understand the situation. There are several major legal situations that they need her help with. If he can’t keep her calm and working with him, everything will go to hell. Jeffrey says that’s the same reason he’s trying with Justin. Justin’s life went to hell because of her. David says Justin could kill him, and Jeffrey says, maybe death better than being part of this family. David tells him not to say that. Things are bad, but not that bad. He’s on verge of being pushed over the edge. He’s tested every day, but once the legal situations are resolved, he’ll let her go. He promises she won’t bother them again, and they can live there in peace. Just stay. Jeffrey says, okay, and David thanks him. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he lost Jeffrey. They hug.

David’s phone rings, and he says, damn. Jeffrey says, her? and David says, yeah. Jeffrey goes upstairs to unpack, and David says they’ll talk later. David answers, and Veronica says she needs to talk to him. She’s at the police station. She needs him to meet her at her house tonight. There’ll talk by the pool, not in the living room. He knows why. He says he’ll be there.

Veronica waits. Justin is brought in. He says he told them she’s lying. Veronica says, is she? He has no idea what he’s done. Bye, girl. Enjoy jail. She bets he thinks twice before hitting a woman. Rainbows and unicorns, baby. He tells her, go to hell, and she says, him first. He says he’s been there since he met her. She says he hasn’t been there yet. One of the arresting cops says, he’s an officer. He’ll be in a cell alone. He won’t be touched. Justin asks if they can speed it up. As he’s led away, Veronica says, bye, Tootsie. Enjoy yourself. Life in tight pants. You better work. She laughs.

David tells Jeffrey he’s going out. Jeffrey says, to meet mom? and David says, to keep the situation under control. Jeffrey tells him that Madison said he needs to keep the bandages changed, and David asks him to help do that when he gets back. Jeffrey thinks he should have Madison do it. He knows David is mad at him, but he meant the best. He thinks David should have him come back. David tells Jeffrey to have Madison call.

Hanna and Benny get home. Wow the house looks very different during the day with no cars in front of it. They see flowers on the porch; a bouquet of yellow roses (which I think means an apology). Benny says they’re from Derrick, and Hanna throws them down. Benny asks what Derrick did, and she tells him, don’t worry about it. They go inside. Benny asks again what Derrick did, and Hanna says she’s going to ask Kathryn about the money, and that’s all she’s saying. Her phone rings, and Hanna asks if Kathryn got it. Kathryn says, no. It’s not making sense. Jim said it’s not his company. She thinks it’s a mix-up, and she’ll get to the bottom of it. Hanna says let her know. She’s sorry; it’s a lot of money. Kathryn knows she didn’t do anything, and she’ll find out what’s going on. Benny asks what that was about, and Hanna says, it’s not Jim’s company. He says, that’s crazy, and Hanna says, maybe. He says, it must be a mix-up at the bank. She says, maybe, and goes upstairs.

Benny calls Candace, and asks where she is. She says, Detroit, and he asks if she’s with him. She says she is, and asks, what’s going on? He says they tried to give the money back, and the bank said it had been sent back already; something about a reverse wire request. She’s like, what? She says, from the Cryer company? and he says, yes. She says, okay. So he got his money, but Benny says, no. It doesn’t make sense. Jim was just there threatening him again. Candace says he’d better not threaten Benny again, and why do that if he’s got the money? She has to call him back.

Candace looks on her laptop, and sees the money in the account. (To refresh your memory, the Cryer company is the dummy account Candace created to get the money in the first place.)

RK slips into Veronica’s house. She sees him, and says, get the hell out. He says he needs her help. They’re after him. She doesn’t give a damn; she wants him to get out, and she means it. He says the Attorney General is trying to throw him in jail. He needs a couple of days to hide out. She asks what the AG would want with him; what did he do? He says he was involved in running a prostitution ring out of the hotel. She says that’s not her problem. He says he’s loyal, and he needs help. She asks where her jewelry is. He says he messed up on that, but he’ll do anything; whatever it takes. She calls him little boy, and says he needs to get out of her house. She’s tired. It’s been a rough day, and she’s pissed off. She needs him gone. He says maybe he should have turned on Candace. She says, Candace Young? What do they want with her? RK doesn’t know, but they wanted him to turn on her. Veronica says he should have, and he says he ain’t no damn snitch. She says, he has a code. Then he needs to be locked up. She’s not going to help him. He says he’ll remember that. She tells him, do that, and don’t come back. He says, don’t worry; he won’t.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s the FBI, and RK runs upstairs. Veronica yells at him to come down. She opens the door, and says he’s upstairs, but they ask her to come with them. She says, why? On what grounds? Head guy says she can come for questioning, or they can arrest her and take her in. She asks again, on what grounds? He says they’re not the local police. They’re the FBI. They’ll think of something. Now get her ass in the car. She asks if they’re arresting her. He says they can, and she says she’ll have all their badges. Just let her get her purse. He says, no; she won’t. She says, it’s been that kind of day. She’s sick of all of them. Let’s tighten it up.

RK comes downstairs. He can’t believe his luck. He closes the door quietly, and says, that’s more like it. He’s going to make some changes around there. He goes to see what in the kitchen. I’m wondering what’s going to happen when David shows up, and he’s throwing a party or something.

Justin tells Officer Ray, come on. Ray knows he didn’t do this. Ray puts him in a cell, alone, and says he’s just doing his job. Justin asks if Ray can call someone for him. Jeffrey Harrington. Ray says he can’t do that. Justin knows who Jeffrey’s mom is. Justin says, so what? and Ray says, sorry, man.

The guys in the next cell stare at Justin. Justin asks what the hell they’re looking at? Because he’s stupider than he looks, Justin gets too close to the dividing bars, and a dude grabs him. They manage to beat him through the bars.

Next time, Justin is pantsed (yes, that’s how I meant to spell it), Jim isn’t leaving until he gets his money, Scott calls Jim, Candace calls Jim, and David tells Veronica that he wants to kill her. Three episodes left to the season.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Provence, France. A trip which will, no doubt, be wasted on this group. The women gather their luggage. In her interview, LisaR says she loves France, but has never been to Provence. She thinks it’s going to be magical. Teddi asks if it’s all vineyards. She’s having déjà vu. In her interview, Kyle says she loves France. Six years ago, she was in Paris. We flash back to her and LVP visiting the Eiffel Tower. Kyle says it’s weird not have LVP there. LVP kicked her out of the house, and she’s not speaking to anyone. It breaks Kyle’s heart. Denise and Camille were also coming until the last minute. We flash back to them talking about the fire on the way to the airport. LisaR says they had to evacuate, and it doesn’t look good. She and Teddi can’t get phone service in the car.

They gasp, seeing the gated entrance to Chateau Whatever It Is. The staff is lined up on the steps, and Erika says it feels like they’re in a movie. She never felt so rich. Local Host Pascha greets them, and they meet the staff. Dorit feels like she’s be living like a princes in a castle. Pascha hopes they have a wonderful stay, and gives them the tour. I salivate over both the house and its furnishings. She explains the house has been mostly restored to the historic model. It was built in 1612, and Erika is sure previous guests are still floating around. The Great Lawn looks like something at Buckingham Palace. Kyle says it’s seventeen acres, and fully staffed. The women are going to be waited on hand and foot, from breakfast until bedtime.

The group is shown their rooms, which are no less than amazing. In LisaR’s interview, she says they usually stay at a five-star hotel, which she likes, since she gets her space. If there’s a conflict, there’s nowhere to run. I’m confused. Nowhere to run on seventeen acres? They shout at each other through the open casement windows.

Kyle tells the chef about the fire in LA, and how people had to evacuate. She explains that two of the friends they’d expected aren’t coming. The chef gives her a run-down of the dinner menu. The women meet in the sitting room or whatever, and even though they’d said it was casual, they’re dressed up. In her interview, Dorit says, the French countryside, and no glam? But contrary to popular belief, she can travel without her glam squad. They order drinks. In Erika’s interview, she says, don’t tell her they’re going to be casual. Bullsh*t. France equals glamour.

Kyle calls Denise, who still can’t get an update about the evacuated areas. Kyle asks if the fire has been contained, and Denise says it hasn’t. Teddi asks about her house, but Denise doesn’t know. The whole thing sounds horrible. Kyle says they’re thinking about her, and asks her to check in. Dorit says, it’s so scary. Kyle calls Camille, who says she just found out her house is okay. She says, last night was insane. She’s never experienced a massive evacuation. In her interview, she says the fire was moving quickly. She grabbed her important documents, and a Wyeth painting, and they caravanned down the street. Their lives have been misplaced. I can understand this a little, having been through a flood. She tells Kyle, they don’t know what do, or where to go, but they’re safe. She doesn’t want to be a buzzkill. Kyle says everyone loves her. Dorit says, thank God she’s safe. In her interview, LisaR says it’s a relief to know they’re safe. Knowing their friends are suffering, they have to make the best of things, since there’s not much they can do. Teddi reveals that her childhood nickname was Butch because she was tomboyish. Kyle says she was Kyle Bitchards. We find out Dorit stole the family car at thirteen, and outed herself by leaving traces of white chocolate in the backseat. She says she was grounded for about ten years.

Dinner is served, and they sit. In Kyle’s interview, she says she doesn’t care where she is in the world, she’s ordering a margarita. She’s not a rosé person. Teddi says, Butch wants her margarita on the rocks. Her drink is a little intense. Erika doesn’t handle strong drinks at all. LisaR tells them that she has one thing to say, which probably means fifty. She had a good time playing Erika Jayne. Teddi says she thought LisaR lost her mind. Kyle says Erika doesn’t behave like that, and it was weird. LisaR agrees it out of place, but it broke ice with Kim. There was an elephant in the room. Actually a bunny.

In Dorit’s interview, she says, who doesn’t want a private chef and being served? It’s luxury to the nth degree. I’m in. Erika says she’s a little drunk. Kyle wants them know they’re effing amazing. They can all be batsh*t crazy, and things can turn in a second, but she’s thankful they’re there. In Erika’s interview, she says the five of them have been through some stuff on these trips. We flash back to some of the stuff they’ve been through. She says, this place is magical, like some sh*t out of a storybook. She wonders if the drinks are strong or she’s lost her mojo. She might even need a piece of bread.

At 5 am, Dorit is up. She feels sick to her stomach. She woke up to a video of Camille’s full of fire. They’d just spoken to her, and everything was fine. What happened? Teddi shows her what Denise posted. She got all the animals out, but everyone is in gas masks. She feels better about Denise, but her heart is breaking for Camille. In her interview, Teddi says, your mind starts going to the worst place, and you start thinking of your family. She wishes she could turn it off.

At breakfast, Erika asks if she’s the only one wildly hungover. She’s drunk from the night before, and is really hurting. She’s miserable, and at breakfast with effing sunglasses on. Dorit thought she was just being fabulous. Teddi says her coach’s house burned down. She got out with only her PJs. Erika asks if the fire has been contained, but Dorit and Teddi don’t think so. The wind shifted. Kyle is freaking, and says Camille has nothing. LisaR says Camille went from her happiest day to being devastated. Teddi says her house is in good shape. Pascha comes in, and Kyle asks about going to a market. Pascha suggests a local one. The women get ready, and head out.

Erika takes pictures. LisaR wants to focus on the moment. They go into the town, and Kyle says it’s like Amsterdam. She tries on some hats. LisaR says she isn’t ready for cheese. Kyle haggles, and feels overwhelmed. LisaR relents, and eats cheese. Kyle and Dorit become lost to shopping. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’s not leaving without a beret. LisaR wants coffee, and they stop at a café.

Erika seems to be the only one who is fluent in French. They order drinks and peruse the menu. LisaR tells them that Amelia has chosen to study nutrition, wellness, and psychology. After sharing her story, she became an activist. In LisaR’s interview, she says Amelia took something that was an issue for her, and turned it into a tool for helping people. We flash back to Amelia says she doesn’t want this to happen to other people. LisaR says Amelia is still getting through her life, and figuring it out. She’s an addict. Teddi says the fact that Amelia is openly talking about it, means she wants to actually fix it. She asks if they knew before she told them, and LisaR says they saw the best doctors. One feels it’s genetic. Kyle says, she never talks about this; not even to her daughters, but when she was younger, she had her own problems. She gets weepy.

She says she never wanted it to be in her daughters’ heads. When she was seventeen, she was on TV. Her sisters were tiny, cute, blonde, blue-eyed, and skinny. She said she didn’t like her wardrobe on the show, and they said if she lost weight, she’d get a better one. The more compliments she got, the less she ate. She’d take V8, pour it in a bowl, heat it up, and call it her food for the day. She weighed 99 pounds. Some days, all she had was six almonds for food. Her sisters and the models were skinny, and she was self-conscious. In her interview, LisaR says since Amelia opened up, she couldn’t pretend she didn’t know what it feels like. Teddi thinks if you share with your kids, they’ll share with you. LisaR says if she tells them, that doesn’t mean they’ll do it, but Kyle doesn’t want to put it into their heads. LisaR says they already have it in their heads from the world, which is a good point. Dorit suggests having a chat. In Kyle’s interview, she says she was terrified, and wanted them to have a healthy body image. She never says things like she feels fat. She just wants them to be healthy. LisaR says she’s done an amazing job raising her daughters. In Erika’s interview, she thinks it’s brave for Kyle to admit that she struggled with an eating disorder. Erika tells the others, she never had that. She was always a stick figure. Now she’s the heaviest she’s ever been. With all that dancing, I’m sure a lot of it is muscle. In her interview, she says she thinks it’s easier to be vulnerable in front of each other, since they don’t think they’ll be judged, or jabbed at, or the information used at a later date. It feels like a safe space because LVP isn’t there. Oh come on. Can they leave her alone now? They got what they wanted. Move on.

The go to Pont Something-or-Other, and tour the city. The walk on a bridge to nowhere, that extends to the middle of a river. Erika thinks the river kept destroying the bridge, and they just quit rebuilding. She says, it’s a privilege to be on a vacation in Europe. It’s thousands of years of history. Places you think about for the rest of your life.

Dorit calls home, and video chats with the kids. LisaR tries to talk French to Harry. She tells Harry about Denise, Camille, and the fire. She says, Camille lost her house. It burned down. Harry says, it’s tragic. It will be horrible to find out what other friends lost their homes. LisaR says the fire affected many, many of the people they know; whole neighborhoods. Her heart is broken. She says, thank God everyone is okay. At the end of the day, things are replaceable. Erika says hi to Harry, and the women meet downstairs

LisaR declares she likes the drinks. Ooh. I love Kyle’s skirt. It has strings of beads hanging from it like fringe. Everyone looks fantastic. LisaR thinks their group likes looks that are fabulous, except Denise. We flash back to Denise’s casual look, and in her interview, LisaR imitates Denise, saying those bitches are making her raise her game, and she doesn’t want to. She tells them, everyone in the group has style – and Teddi is coming around. In her interview, she says, Teddi raised her fashion game from a year ago. We see a clip of Kyle helping her do some shopping. In Teddi’s interview, she says she didn’t think her style had changed that much, but people keep saying she’s bringing her A-game. She’d thought she’d always been bringing it.

LisaR says, drunk Rinna is here! and kicks her leg in the air like she just don’t care.

At the restaurant, Teddi apologizes in advance for their presence. She orders a skinny margarita, and Kyle is like, not in France. They talk about favoring their dads, and Erika says her father is from El Salvador, which surprises everyone. In Erika’s interview, she says, it doesn’t mean anything. She never meant anything to them, so it’s just part of her heritage. Several of them order hamburgers, and in her interview, Dorit wonders, if they could order anything other than burger in France. She gets it though. They’re American.

Kyle asks LisaR about the Erika Jayne act. She thought it was weird. LisaR says, because she was playing a character, it helped her face Kyle’s sister. In Kyle’s interview, she says using the Erika Jayne persona allowed LisaR to call her sister the c-word. LisaR needs to take responsibility for her own words, since she’s the queen of owning it. LisaR says it flew out of her mouth. It happened, but it led to sitting and having a conversation where they decided to move on and move forward. We flash back to them kissing and making up. Kyle says it seemed inappropriate, since Erika wouldn’t talk like that to anybody. We flash back to (I think) Erika’s first season, when she wore the c-word necklace. LisaR says it was just her interpretation. Teddi says it would hurt her feelings. LisaR says she knows Erika’s feelings aren’t hurt, and Erika says, not at all. Kyle asks if it isn’t a betrayal of who she is. Erika says, it’s just a persona. Teddi says LisaR was hiding behind a character, and it was confusing. LisaR wonders what issue Teddi is having with her, and in her interview, says it’s not her issue, and none of Teddi’s business. Teddi says, it doesn’t make her like LisaR any less, and LisaR says she doesn’t care if Teddi likes her or not. Don’t put it all on her.

Even LisaR realizes how bad that sounds, and says, well, she does care. Teddi says she does. Otherwise, why are they hanging out? In Dorit’s interview, she doesn’t know why Kyle and Teddi are baiting Erika to say something. She thinks Teddi is Kyle’s henchwoman. We flash back to Teddi explaining (Teddi-splainin’) Kyle’s feelings after the concert. In LisaR’s interview, she says if not for Kim, they would have laughed and applauded. It’s just sensitive because Kyle’s sister is involved. Well, yeah… Kyle says everyone was uncomfortable, even Erika, who is starting to look bored at this point. Kind of like I do. Erika says it seems the two of them – meaning LisaR and Kim – came to a resolution.  In Erika’s interview, she says she’s not annoyed that LisaR used the Erika Jayne persona to heal her wound, but she’s annoyed that they’re not letting it go. Dorit says it’s an alter ego who’s free to be whatever. Erika says it’s a performance persona, and quit trying to bait her into the conversation. In Teddi’s interview, she says when she’s uncomfortable, she wants to discuss it immediately. Erika wants to shut it down before it starts. She tells Erika that she’s not being an idiot. She’s trying to have a conversation about something she doesn’t understand. Erika says she’s glad they’ve moved on. In her interview, Erika says if she was going to be upset, she’d have been upset weeks ago, not in France. Stop ruining her night. Kyle says now Erika is upset with them. Erika says she’s okay. In Kyle’s interview, she’s struggling to believe that Erika wouldn’t be embarrassed by being used as an excuse to be rude to someone. I’m struggling to believe anyone can make this big a deal out of pretty much everything.

LisaR says, anyone feel like dessert?

Next time, a helicopter ride, the women do (very good) imitations of each other, Denise goes back to the rubble that was her house, Teddi can’t be a moral compass for everyone, and Erika feels bullied.

👠 No Phobias Here…

While I’ve amassed a nice tea collection, it’s late and it’s been a long week, even though it’s not half over. So I chose the article that says it all after tonight’s RHOBHLVP and her crew at the Pride parade. Despite her Wives estrangement, she’s not letting any moss grow on her.

🎶 A Wednesday Type of Song…

Although I’ll never be able to hear it again without thinking of Reservoir Dogs.

June 10, 2019 – Part Two – A Chef Who Can’t Cook, Lotsa Lisa, Lisa’s Spinoffs, Who Antoinette Went Home With & a Winner


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


👈 Please see previous post for June 10th’s General Hospital.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Nice, France. Mila puts steaks in microwave to warm them up. I hear Gordon Ramsay screaming at her in my head. The steaks are served. Hannah gripes to the other stews about the microwave, but the guests like the food. Even the one who’s tough to please with a steak. Hannah is relieved. In her interview, Mila says she feels happy. It’s good that even though she was sick, she still managed. I’m cursing my life, since not only do Aesha and Anastasia have names that start with the same letter, they look similar. This is going to be a tough season.

Captain Sandy scarfs down a taco. She sees the infamous nacho chips, and asks Hannah how the guests are doing. Hannah says, okay. In Hannah’s interview, she says the last few seasons were rough. We flash back to that. She says communication with the captain is her main priority. She doesn’t want Captain Sandy seeing food, and wondering why Hannah didn’t say anything about it. The captain tells Hannah, the nachos look terrible, and Hannah says that’s why she didn’t take them out. The captain thanks her, and they high-five.

Travis says, they’re rolling towels and living the dream. Hannah asks João for a schedule. He says he’ll stay up until the guests go to bed. The nachos are tossed.

In the morning, Captain Sandy says they’re getting ready to leave, and checks on the guests’ dinner. In the captain’s interview, she thinks the guests are being nice, but she’s being cautious. She asks the crew to return radio one, and Jack brings it back. The last thing he wants is for Captain Sandy pulling his ear like a naughty schoolboy, and slapping his ass on the bridge. She tells them to start hauling anchor. The anchor is home, and they go into gear.

The beach picnic is today, and Hannah wants to go over the meal plan with Mila. Sandwiches and salads should be ready to go at 1:30. Mila says she’ll go and get inspiration, which I think means take a nap. Aesha serves breakfast, pointing out that every dot on a strawberry is an ovary. In her interview, she says, because she’s happy, people think she’s an airhead, but she’s smarter than she appears, and has a double science degree. One of the guests looks up the ovary thing online, and says she’s correct. It does sound like something somebody would make up.

João tells Travis about the schedule. Travis can’t believe he’s lead deckhand. He’s driving blind, and doesn’t know where he’s going with the tender. Captain Sandy says there’s only one beach there. In her interview, she explains they have to find private places for beach picnics, but if the guests want something, they get it. Hannah tells João to quit stalking Brooke’s Instagram. In his interview, he says, as much as he tries to hide his feelings about Brooke, they still linger. He says Hannah has brought an energy this season he never thought he’d see. Rut-roh.

Mila says if she was on a boat, she wouldn’t ask for club sandwiches, but you have to give the guests what they want. She’s making salads, and they’re nearly an hour behind schedule. Hannah doesn’t know how you can be late, making sandwiches for five people. Captain Sandy asks the sky not to rain. The food is on it’s way, and Hannah asks Mila if they don’t need a few things like a knife. In her interview, Hannah says things are happening that shouldn’t happen on a superyacht.

Pointe d’ le Something. At the beach, Aesha radios Hannah, asking for a ten minute warning, but Hannah says the guests are coming now. They arrive, and Aesha welcomes them to lunch. She makes drinks. Back at the yacht, everything is cleaned and tidied. Hannah double-checks everything. She thinks it’s a miracle that it’s all done. She’s happy with a strong third stew in Anastasia. It’s been testy for the past few years. We flash back to the duds. In her interview, Anastasia says she likes being the best at what she does, whether it’s cleaning toilets or cooking a five-course meal. Thank you. I’m with her on that.

In the galley, Mila tells João and Jack about pursuing her culinary school dream.

Aesha realizes they forgot the tequila. In her interview, Hannah says she has so many balls in the air, she’s not surprised she dropped one. She needs everyone to do their jobs. João brings two bottles. Colin says he’s like Aquaman. He’s got the goods, and he’s saving the day. Then Colin ruins it. João tosses the bottles to him, and he drops one.

Captain Sandy sees rain coming, and hopes it goes the other way. Jack says he’s going to make her the best tea on board. He doesn’t think she’s seen him at his best yet. Mila says the guests have requested Italian tonight, but she can’t give them prosciutto, since there’s no machine to slice it properly. Hanna says she has Mila’s back, but in her interview, Mila says she hates fake people, and thinks Hannah is fake. Well, she’s just a co-worker. Who cares?

A storm comes up, and the captain hears thunder. She tells João to get the guests back in the boat. Everything on deck is covered. On the beach, Jay says, it comes in fast. Hannah radios João, and tells him to help pack up and get the guests back. Aesha says, they’re coming. The captain greets them, saying she didn’t want them struck by lightning. João goes back again, and helps Colin pack up at super speed.

Jack wants quick cuppa tea, but João suggests he help with the work. Jack says he’s not standing in the rain, but João says he will if they need him too. In João’s interview, he says Jack should think like the engineer he is. If João is going to be a more efficient as a leader. he has to figure out what motivates Jack. This is a good question. Does anything? Hannah asks Captain Sandy how the weather is looking, and the captain thinks it might pass, but they should have dinner inside, since she still hears thunder. Hannah tells Mila that Carol wants a white cake with white frosting for her birthday. In Mila’s interview, she says she’s not a cake person. She didn’t do a patisserie course, and hopes they like it. Come on, man. How hard is it? Even I can bake a decent cake.

The table is set, balloons are blown up, and crepe paper is streamed. Captain Sandy decides she’ll try and slice the prosciutto. Her father was in the meat business. She tells Mila. you don’t give up. If the guests want ham, they get ham. Holy! She is really good at that, slicing it thin with a big knife. She says it’s like being back in the meat shop, which she never liked, but it made her night to contribute. I like Captain Sandy because you know she’d never ask you to do something she wouldn’t do. That’s a good boss.

The guests get ready. The stews try the cake, and at first it’s all yum, but then Anastasia says she bit into some baking powder. They realize it the baking powder taste is too strong. In her interview, Anastasia says, it’s baking soda in cake form; it’s disgusting. Hannah says she can’t serve it to the guests. Mila insists it’s not that strong, and says she’ll serve it. I always forget they don’t wear shoes on the yacht, and get startled when I see their feet. Hannah takes a piece of the cake to Captain Sandy, who says, wow. It’s so bad. She says they’re in trouble. She’ll handle it. In her interview, she says a lot of chefs are good at cooking, but not baking. However, a yacht chef has to do both. She can’t discuss all that now, because there’s no time. She has to get Mila to focus on the food and making a good meal. Anastasia suggests cupcakes. In her interview, she says she was a chef on the last boat she worked on, and thinks there’s no excuse. Baking is in her blood. Her mom was a pastry chef, and she’s got this. She tells everyone what she needs, and Hannah tells the captain that Anastasia is taking over with the cake.

Carol thinks the décor is really pretty. Anastasia rocks cake making. Captain Sandy tests the batter, and loves it. She says, teamwork. Jack hides while the other guys work. Hannah serves a caprese salad.  Anastasia says she was happy to bang out another cake. Jack sits in the galley, eating. In her interview, Anastasia says she has a dirty mind, but she’s not promiscuous. She’d rather watch the Gilmore Girls. Truffle pasta is served. Carol says, it’s beyond good. Mila ices the cake. Hannah calls the crew to sing, and tells Anastasia to carry the cake since she made it. In Mila’s interview, she says she feels bad already, and Hannah had to say Anastasia made the cake in front of everyone. Don’t give her a fake smile next time. Happy Birthday is sung, and Carol blows out the candles. She says she’s going to cry. In the galley, Captain Sandy says, good job, and she and Jack clink teacups. The cake is served, and Jay says it’s the best cake he’s ever had. He asks if Mila does the baking, and Aesha says Anastasia baked the cake. Mila is annoyed with Aesha, and says it was nice of her to let the guests know. Aesha says they asked, and she wasn’t going to lie. Besides, Anastasia deserved it. For whatever reason, Mila refuses to believe the guests asked about the cake. I’m starting to think Mila might not last through the season. She gripes to Anastasia, who doesn’t think Aesha meant anything by it, adding the day has been stressful. Mila says she knows what was being said. Colin and João talk about Hannah and Mila going after each other, and João compares them to cats.

Breakfast served. In Anastasia’s interview, she says, Aesha is crazy and inappropriate, and the guests love her. The guests continue to rave about the cake, saying Anastasia is so talented, which must be killing Mila. Anchor is hauled up. Jack says he’s not experienced in that, and has no clue what’s going on. He’s just out there to get some sun. I don’t know if he’s lasting either. João discusses the lines with the captain. In his interview, he says although he’s worked with her, it’s never been in this position. He needs to prove she can trust him under pressure. If she trusts him now, she’ll trust him all season. He asks Travis to do some nautical things. In Travis’s interview, he says people who work on yachts think they’re all that, even though they’re really an effing janitor on a floating toilet. But if his boss tells him to do something, he’ll do it.

The guests pack. The captain says there’s a bit of current, and docking is a little tricky. João and Travis help guide her in. Jack asks if he could be shown how to do it next time. Captain Sandy says, maybe, and tells João that he did nicely. He says, nailed it, and he and Travis high-five.

Aesha says she got a head start on going out. She’s soaked her tampon in vodka. Hey, I just report what I’m seeing and hearing. In her interview, she says she’d never do that, but it sounds interesting, and she’d like someone else to try it. Maybe she can get Jack to do it. The guests don’t want to leave. The crew is called to the dock. Jay gets weepy, and says they’re amazing. It was the greatest vacation of his life. He wishes them a great season. In her interview, Mila says Russian men don’t cry, even at their mother’s funerals. It makes her feel uncomfortable and weird. Geez, the dude is probably crying because he has to go back to work soon. And didn’t she spend a bunch of time in France? I bet they cry there.

Tip time! The captain says, in spite of Mila being sick, they came together. She thanks the interior for taking charge in the galley. She can trust them. She doesn’t know about Jack though. In Jack’s interview, he says it’s lucky he has his smile. He paid enough for it, so he’s using it to get himself out of trouble. The tip is 13K euros, which I had to look up, and it translates to $14,706.19 – 1175 euros each, or $1329.21. They have some champagne, and laugh a lot. The boat is cleaned up, and the crew cleans themselves up. Sitting outside, Mila asks if Jack prefers boys, and he tells her, piss off.

Captain Sandy calls Mila to the bridge. In her interview, the captain says just because the charter guests liked the food, doesn’t mean it’s up to standard, and she knows what standard is. She needs to see the standards of someone who was trained in Paris. She shows Mila photos of how she should be plating food. Ouch. But yeah, her plating is crummy. Those MasterChef Junior kids are a million times better. She tells Mila that she’s been doing this a long time, and worked with a lot of chefs. She has to know Mila can do this, and right now, she doesn’t know. She had a rough start because she was sick, but she’s not sick now. Captain Sandy says, let’s do this. She has it, right? Mila nods, and in her interview, says she’s grateful for the captain’s opinion. Captain Sandy’s words make her feel like she really wants to perform more. She worded it like that, not me.

Jack can’t believe Mila with her hair all blown out. He says she thought he was gay, and Travis says, it’s a compliment. Jack says he didn’t think he was giving that vibe. Mila comes by with beer, and asks if they’re stepping out tonight. Jack says he’ll step out with her.

Everyone heads out. In Jack’s interview, he explains that he was going out with girl when he left. He was honest, and told her that he wouldn’t be loyal. He’s going out for a few drinks, and a little wiggle. And maybe have a crack on with one of the girls. Who knows what will happen? In the car, Colin asks how dinner was. Mila is in the other car, and Hannah says, the experience or the food? She thinks if you’re working on a yacht this size, and serve that kind of food, you’re not a good chef. She’s not being a bitch. She thinks Mila is a nice person.

In the other car, Travis says, Russians are homophobes, and Mila agrees. She’s also happy to be one. She doesn’t care what people do at home, but she doesn’t want her son growing up seeing two men kissing, and think it’s normal. It’s not.

João says Mila is sweet, and Hanna says, she’s a lovely person. I laugh, thinking, just wait. Mila says she’s proud of Putin, and glad he doesn’t let them have gay parades in their country. Travis tells her, STFU. Get out of the van. Um… he’s not driving, so I don’t think he gets a say in that. Travis says he’s never going to speak with her again. Maybe he’s been with men, or maybe those are his friends. Mila tells him, all she said is that she doesn’t want to see it openly. He says her opinion of gay people is her opinion of humanity. She says, it’s not normal. Is being with an animal normal? There’s a millisecond of silence, where they all can’t believe what they just heard. In Travis’s interview, he says, her mindset is warped. He tells her to sit at the opposite end of the table, calling her an oxygen thief.

Next time, the primary is Captain Sandy’s friend the vibrator queen, Colin gets hurt, Hannah doesn’t want to work with a homophobic pr*ck who can’t cook, the guests don’t like the food, and Anastasia gets put in the galley.

💋 Lots of LVP…

Her evolution.

Skipping the reunion.

Why she quit.

And who might replace her.

🌴 And On Lisa’s Coattails…

Restaurant drama with the Vanderpump Rules cast.

To prenup or not to prenup.

I doff my cap to Stassi.

More Jax and Brittany pre-wedding festivities. Stassi’s suit is a no. Just no. As a matter-of-fact, none of the suits are all that attractive. Maybe Lala’s.

Warning: boobies ahead.

🏆 And You Get a Tony…

Everything about the awards in a nutshell.

🍱 A Combination…

The Tony Awards, Pride month, and one of my favorite songs from a musical.


June 7, 2019 – Jordan Wakes Up But Ryan Doesn’t, a Househusband Resurfaces, LVP Is Done, Too Close For Comfort, New Shah Revealed, a Half Dozen Plus One Quotes & Another One


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Again I was a little late, but listening.

Carly finds Jax in the living room with a surfboard. He says he can explain, and she says, start talking.

Doc tells Laura that Ryan’s coma is considered an unintended consequence of surgery, but it’s okay with him if Ryan never wakes up.

Every model in the world is booked for September, and Maxie suggests Ava for the Crimson cover.

At Charlie’s, Franco tells Ava that the universe has a way of working things out. Something good came out of something rotten. Ryan is in a coma, and when he wakes up, he’ll be down a kidney and going to Pentonville, a fate worse than death. She says she keeps hearing Ryan taunting her, and Franco says, the best thing to do with a guy like Ryan is to forget him. He thought he was smart, and eight steps ahead of everyone, but he was wrong. He lost, and they won.

TJ tells Stella and Curtis that everything is going great with Jordan. Curtis sees Elizabeth holding the DNR, and asks why she has that. He thought it was a routine surgery. Finn says, it is, but so is a DNR. Any ime anesthetic is involved, it’s a matter of practice that the patient is given that option. Stella says there’s always an off-chance, and Jordan wanted to be safe. TJ says it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t save her, but if she was in a vegetative state, she didn’t want them leaving her there. Which they would.

Laura thanks Doc for telling her the truth. Doc asks if she isn’t disappointed, and she says, no. She’s not sure it’s what she would have done, but she sees why he did. He saved a life, and she can’t find fault in that. She loves him. He thanks her, and says he loves her too. She asks how he feels, and he says, fine. He thought he’d feel guilty, but his brother would never voluntarily give up a kidney. Jordan is alive, and will be with them a long time, and it’s hard to find fault with that. He didn’t bow to the tyranny of Ryan; the illusion he could save him that stems from childhood. Laura says, survivor guilt. Doc is the kid who got away. Doc says he finally realized he has no control and no power over who got hurt. This experience finally gave him the knowledge that he had no more control than Ryan, and had no more choices than he did. He only has a choice as an adult, and as an adult, he chose to maintain his brother.

Jax thinks it will be great for Josslyn to catch a wave. It’s fun and she’ll connect with nature. It will be good for her. Carly says they don’t want to push her, and he says he knows she needs time to cry and process everything, but she also needs to live in the moment, and know, whatever happens, life is still beautiful. He thinks it will help her. Carly tells him, if he says so. He says she’s only resistant because she never wanted to learn. She says she’s a Florida girl, and loves everything about the beach. She just had no desire to surf because her body is her board. He says she just doesn’t want be bad at something. She says it’s true she doesn’t want to look like an idiot falling off, but she’s happy Josslyn learned before she knew what she was doing. He says, Josslyn can’t remember a time when she didn’t surf, and Carly says, thanks to him. She tells Jax that she’s so scared for Josslyn. She’s so young, and this is so huge. Jax sits next to her, and takes her hand. He says she’ll be more than okay. She has them to hold her up.

Carly gives Jax something to drink, and he says he doesn’t know whether to wait there or track her down. Carly says she struggles with that all the time. He asks what side she leans on, and Carly suggests he put the surfboard in Josslyn’s room, and let her find it then. Then, on Saturday, he can call and say, hey, let’s go surfing. Jax’s phone dings, and he says, that was quick. The budget for Crimson is in. Carly says, what? He says he told her that he was going to find something to keep him busy while he was in town. He bought half of Aurora Media; the print division. She says, awesome, but he says she sounds thrown. She thinks it’s a perfect fit, and it’s great he’ll be in the MetroCourt offices. He says, but…? She asks if Drew knows much about him. He asks if she’s implying he’s hard to work with. He admits he likes things to go his way, and is actually a bit of a control freak, but he and Drew have an agreement. While Crimson is still under the umbrella of Aurora, the divisions are completely separate. Carly says, neighbors, but not collaborators, and congratulates him.

Nina tells Maxie that she’s out of her mind, and Sasha says that’s the only explanation. Maxie says she knew it would be a hard sell. Sasha says she’s living proof that Ava is a complete psychopath. Maxie says, tell her why, and Sasha says this horrible woman comes out of nowhere, chats her up, and makes it clear Kiki and Griff weren’t serious. Friends with benefits, she said.  Of course (🍷) she flirted, and Kiki was offended, as she should be. Not only were she and Griff dating, they were exclusive. Kiki kicked her out, and it turns out Ava is a complete whack-job who set her up. Sasha decided to just get on with her life. She ordered room service, and woke up drugged, without clothes, next to Griff in bed. Nina says, sounds like a magazine cover to her. Sasha says the only reason she didn’t press charges was that Kiki and Griff wanted to handle it on their own. Maxie says, it’s Nina’s turn.

Ava asks Franco if now is the time to pick herself up, dust herself off, and start the next chapter. Franco says, a million yups. Ava says she slept with her daughter’s murderer. It’s not easy to move on from that. Franco says if there’s a poster boy for second chances, she’s looking a him. What does he have to thank for that? She says, a brain tumor? He says, after ten minutes, people move on to the next wave of hysteria. Ryan’s had his ten minutes, and he’s done. Hers has just started. There will always be people in the world who will look sideways at people like them, but she can have a great life, which is the best revenge.

Laura tells Doc, it sounds like a breakthrough. Fantastic. He says he still has a lot of work to do. He thinks it will be easier when Ryan is moved to Pentonville. He’s not going to visit Ryan, and is cutting off all contact. He’s truly, finally letting him go. Laura can’t tell him how happy she is. She knows it’s not easy. Doc says, whatever horrible circumstances led Ryan to this, he chose it, and embraced it, and these are the consequences of his actions. At least his life isn’t a total loss. He saved Jordan. Laura says. that counts for something.

Stella tells Curtis that Jordan wanted to cover every possibility and eventuality, but her chances are better than excellent that it won’t be needed. But just in case, those are Jordan’s wishes. Jordan said Stella needed to make that clear, but it’s not something they need to worry about, Curtis doesn’t get it. It’s a straightforward surgery; it seems unnecessary. TJ says, it feels endless. First, the car accident. then they thought Jordan was in the clear, and the bottom falls out again with her kidney. Now they feel like they almost made it, and it’s something new, but he’s come far enough in his training to know when they say standard procedure, it is. There are no guarantees but odds are hugely in his mom’s favor. They couldn’t say that before, but they can now. If even a minute of worry was taken away from her, it’s a good thing. They want every worry taken off, so Jordan’s mind focuses on staying strong. Curtis says, not that he had any doubts, but TJ is going to make one helluva doctor.

Finn and Elizabeth approach them. Curtis says he takes it that their smiles mean it’s good. Finn says, the operation was a success. Elizabeth tells them, Jordan is in recovery right now. Curtis, Stella, and TJ group hug.

Jax tells Carly that the surfboard is on Josslyn’s desk. She asks if Josslyn is aware of his plans to stay being official. He says he was telling her this weekend. Carly says, she’ll be happy. She’s happy he’s staying, but it’s one thing for him and Sonny to be in the same town for an extended period. It’s another for him to stay permanently. They’ll be spending a lot of time together, and she’s hoping they keep the spirit of mutual cooperation. Her plea for peace over. He says, if they want coexist, they will. He asks her to call when Josslyn finds the surfboard.

Nina tells Maxie that she’s not doing this. Maxie says it will be cathartic, and Nina says Ava is not going to be on the cover. Maxie asks Nina to humor. Nina thinks it’s a waste of time, but she will. Nina says she got married young to Silas, and her mother hired Ava to seduce him. They had an affair, and when Nina had her psychotic break, she gave Ava a drug to induce labor. She’s not proud of that, but learned sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to reinvent yourself. She regrets her actions, but it’s not like she’s feeling bad for Ava. She’s a grasping, poisonous bitch. Why would Nina put her on the cover? Maxie says, because she’s a grasping, poisonous bitch, and that’s what sells.

Franco asks Ava, what’s going on with the gallery? Does she have any plans for the next exhibit. Ava says, no, and he asks if she’s heard from any artists. She says, there are a few she has to call back. He suggests she get the next young visionary on her walls. She says she’s also heard from a few collectors, and he says he’s not surprised. She has reputation to uphold, and needs to uphold it. She asks why he cares, and he says she knows why. She’s had enough taken from her by Ryan. Don’t let him take anything else.

Laura knows that Doc said he’s letting it go, and putting it behind him, and she believes that, but she sees a flicker of conflict when he looks at Ryan, like a lingering what if? He says he’s working on it, and she says she knows he’ll defeat it. Maybe this will help. She knows what happened to Ryan is tragic, but it happened to a lot of other children, and they didn’t grow up to be serial killers. Look around. There are a lot of people who suffered trauma, and go on with life. A life that’s full and productive, and they even raise their own families. Doc says, it happens, and she says she thinks it happens a lot. Abuse can explain why someone becomes twisted, but it doesn’t excuse it. Not for anybody. Not for Ryan. Doc looks in the window of Ryan’s room.

Elizabeth tells Jordan that she did great. She wants to make sure Jordan’s pain is under control, and places the button in her hand.

Curtis asks Finn when he can see Jordan, and Finn says as soon as Elizabeth is done. Elizabeth comes out, and Curtis puts a gown on and goes in. I wonder why no gloves, especially when he touches her hand. She opens her eyes, and he says she’s back.

Nina tells Maxie that they’re not going to get new subscribers with one cover. Maxie says, if they do it right, it might push the subscriptions up, and they can charge double for ad revenue. Sasha’s phone dings, and she says Michael wants to meet her. Nina says, go. She and Maxie can take care of it. Sasha leaves, and Nina says she didn’t want to say this in front of her. She doesn’t want Sasha to see this part of her, but she hates Ava more than God hates sin. She’s not lowering herself by exploiting Kiki’s death. Maxie says they’ll keep the focus on Ava. Let her tell as much or as little as she wants to about Kiki. Nina think they’d be protecting Ava by letting her play the sad, grieving mother. She made Kiki’s life miserable. She’s not doing it. She’d rather bankrupt the magazine than put Ava’s face on the cover. Macie says, then she’s letting Ava win.

Carly goes to her doctor’s appointment, and says she thinks she has a future athlete on her hands. She wonders if the MASFP test is just a glorified blood test, and if it’s necessary. Is it better to go through the anxiety that comes along with it, or trust the CVS test? She feels they’re just screening for things because they can. The doctor says, it’s a balancing act between necessary and overboard, but with Carly’s history, she’s in favor of checking all the boxes. Carly says, okay. Better safe than sorry. Let’s do it.

Michael hopes he didn’t take Sasha away from anything important. Sasha says when Nina hears it’s him, she literally says, go; fly like the wind. She says his text was cryptic; how do you feel about small planes? She says she’s fine with them. He says it’s an eight seater. He’d like to take her with him to Martha’s Vineyard.

TJ and Stella look at in on Jordan. TJ walks away, and leans against the wall. Stella tells him that she’s proud of him and how he handled this. He’s had to be a grown up and a doctor, and is probably just as scared as they are. He says she always thinks he’s perfect. She says she doesn’t lie. They all believe in him. He says it gives him the confidence to keep going, and thanks her. Having a strong kickass woman on his side matters. They hug.

Jordan tells Curtis that she already feels better. He says, this nightmare finally over, and kisses her hand.

Nina tells Maxie, Ava will think of herself as a hero. Maxie says, Ava always considers herself the hero of her own story. Nina says, she’s a shallow, despicable, vain human being, and Maxie says their readers aren’t stupid. They’ll see her for who she is. And Nina gets to make money off of her, using her by playing to her weakness. Nina says, vanity. Jax walks in, but Nina says she can’t talk. She needs to track down Ava.

Michael is concerned that he’s freaked Sasha out. They just started whatever it is they’re doing, and he’s asking her to go away with him. Sasha says she’s looking at him like this because Martha’s Vineyard is her favorite place on earth. She’s just surprised. Michael says he’s meeting with a venture capitalist, who asked him to stay at his place for a few days. He thought it would be fun to go together. She says, it sounds incredible. She’s in 100%. She tells him that she’s excited, and he says, him too.

Franco looks in on Ryan. He asks Laura how the patient is, and she says, next stop, Pentonville. He says, home, sweet home. Elizabeth tells them that Jordan is awake, and swears she already feels better. Doc says they pulled it off, and Franco says, they did. Laura says, technically, Ryan did. With the stroke of a pen. Doc looks at Franco. A lightbulb goes on over my head.

TJ calls Jordan a rock star. She thanks them, and Stella says, it’s time to celebrate. TJ tells Jordan that the documentary on snowy owl migration is coming out next month at a select few theaters. Jordan says TJ was looking forward to it, and Curtis says he’s glad she made it. There’s no way he was going. Stella wants TJ to help her go shopping. The food there leaves something to be desired, and she wants to make something tasty for Jordan’s first meal. Jordan says she doesn’t have to, but Curtis says, let her. He’s hungry. TJ and Stella leave. Curtis says thank God everything worked out.

Maxie tells Jax that she’s had no chance to suck up to her new boss. He says he’s fine, and she tells him, suit himself. He asks what Nina was saying about Ava, but Maxie says, it’s not about Ava; it’s about Nina, and how much she loves the magazine. She’d do anything to make it successful, and if this works out, they’ll get revenue and Ava will get what she deserves.

Ava leaves a message, asking if a collector is still interested in a Matisse, and if so, call her back. Nina says she’s been looking for Ava. Ava asks what she wants, and Nina says, to offer her the cover of Crimson.

Sasha says, it’s so amazing. They have to ride a carousel; it’s non-negotiable. She also suggests fishing and a lighthouse. Michael says his buddy told him to check the beaches near the lighthouse, and Sasha laughs. She tells him that she knows why. Bathing suits are optional. He says they’re definitely going then. She says she has to pack, and he says she doesn’t need a suit. She tells him, if it’s optional for her, it is for him too.

The doctor tells Carly to try and relax. Carly says she’ll do her best, and asks if the doctor can rush the results. The doctor says she’ll do her best.

Curtis asks if he can get Jordan anything, but she says she’s good. She asks if he’s okay, and he says, better than okay. It all worked out. He honestly didn’t know if they’d get there. He hoped and prayed, but didn’t know. Jordan says, it’s unbelievable really, that Ryan changed his mind and gave her a kidney. Curtis says, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Jordan says, you’re telling me.

Ryan is wheeled out on a gurney by some cops. Elizabeth, Franco, and Finn watch. Laura comes out, and Doc joins her. They all look at each other. Ryan is wheeled into the elevator as they watch. The elevator doors close, and they all go back to work.

On Monday, Nina wants to give Ava an opportunity to tell the world, Diane asks what Willow suggests she do, and Shiloh asks someone how he goes about tracking a person down.

❓ Remember Him?

There’s really no reason you should.

💔 My Heart…

And where she goes, Giggy goes.

😱 I Can’t…

At least I don’t think so. I have to draw the line somewhere, and I think mothers and daughters sharing bathwater might be it.

👶 Baby Shams…

I can already see the resemblance.

💬 Quotes of the Week

When you’re tiny, you have to be tough. This world isn’t kind to little things.Truman Capote (Toby Jones), Infamous

She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. – Groucho Marx

A leader is someone knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.John C. Maxwell

The Fyre Festival was an amazing idea. – Ja Rule, not reading the room, from The Skimm

Without music, life would be a mistake.Friedrich Nietzsche

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them. – Lemony Snicket

I’m too busy to be bitchy. – my new tagline

👋 Until We Meet On Sunday…

I’m in a bit of a rush, and hoping that’s not reflected in the editing. And if it is, I hope it’s something that makes you laugh.




June 5, 2019 – Chase is Psyched, No Art for Ramona, Girls Trip in a Treehouse & Easy Charm


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny thanks Margaux for stopping by. She says this is the last time she’s responding to a summons. Next time, make an appointment. She sees Jason, and asks, why is she there? Sonny didn’t think she wanted to hear the information he has in public. She asks, why? and Jason says they have something that will send her friend Shiloh straight to prison.

At the MetroCourt, Lulu tells Peter and Maxie, it was a twist no one saw coming. Maxie says the only reason Ryan agreed to donate his kidney was to get a break on his sentence. Peter says, not likely, since his crimes span several states. Maxie says it doesn’t sound like Ryan on any level, and Lulu suggests, maybe he’s in it for the headline. Peter says, if anything is front page news, that is. Lulu says, speaking of front page news… Peter asks how her story is coming.

Harmony goes to Shiloh’s hospital room. He says, she came, and she says, of course (🍷). There’s no place she’d rather be. Tell her if there’s anything he needs her to do. He says there’s only one thing she needs to do. He grabs her arm, and demands she tell him about her part in keeping his child from him.

At Charlie’s, Michael holds Wiley while he sits with Brad. He says he missed Wiley. So does Willow. Brad tells him to be careful. What if DOD members are listening? Michael says, a lot of people love Wiley, and will do everything they can to protect him. He asks Brad how he and Lucas are holding up. Brad says he’s wreck – what else is new? – but he’s never seen Lucas this afraid.

Lucas goes to Willow’s classroom. Lucas says he’s been wanting to talk to her since the Nurses Ball. She asks him to shut the door. He does, and says, he can’t stop thinking about her relationship to his son, and what it means for the future.

Sam and Julian stand outside a county clerk’s office. Julian gives Sam a manila envelope, telling her it has ID, a passport, and driver’s license. Everything she needs is all there. Sam looks through everything, and thanks him. He says she might as well be a decent criminal. She goes into the office, and tells him that she needs help regarding an adoption. He checks her ID, calling her Miss Tait. She tells him, call her Willow. She gives him a court order, and says she wants to alter some information on her son’s adoption. He’s their son now, and she wants him to stay their son, but if he comes looking for his birth mother, she wants him to know how to find her. She acts distressed, and Julian comes in. The clerk leaves to get the records, and Sam pokes Julian, saying he’s early. He says, when the clerk comes back, it’s go time.

Jason tells Margaux that they have recordings proving Shiloh gave Sam drug-laced tea, which were confirmed by the toxicology report. Then he moved Sam to a second location without her consent, where he sexually assaulted her. Margaux asks if Shiloh raped Sam, and he says, no, but it was clearly Shiloh’s intent, until he interrupted them. Margaux says that might explain Shiloh’s sudden unexplained injuries. Sonny says, maybe Shiloh is just clumsy. She says Sonny’s daughter Kristina is a DOD member, but he says, not anymore. She gets it. He’s protective of his children, but it looks like Kristina found s man she looked up to more, and Sonny forced a wedge between them. Sonny says the only thing he did was tell the truth, and Kristina made up her own mind. He’s hoping Margaux does the same. She says, what truth? and Sonny says, that Shiloh is a sexual predator. She thinks Sonny might have manipulated the evidence, but Jason says the recordings are on the flashdrive, and it’s Shiloh’s voice. Sonny says if she won’t take his word for it, take Shiloh’s.

Harmony asks what Shiloh is talking about. Is he sure? He says, it explains everything. Why Willow ran and his. She was carrying his baby. Harmony suggests maybe he’s just seeing what he wants to see. He says the truth is that Willow had his child, and she’s keeping the child from him. Did Harmony help? She says, no. Why would she? She’s his most loyal follower, and knows what s child represents. He says Willow had his child, and is keeping it from him. it’s Harmony’s mission to unite them.

Michael tells Brad that he knows things are difficult, and emotions are running high, but Willow is not the enemy. Just the opposite. She sacrificed everything to keep Wiley safe. Brad says he’s not insensitive, but finding out they could lose Wiley because Willow didn’t tell the father isn’t great news. Michael says Brad was blindsided, and it’s understandable, but now that he’s had time to process it, there are some things he should be aware of. When Michael met Willow, she had no idea Wiley was his godson. They met in a support group for grieving parents, and eventually, she confided in him that she gave her son up for adoption. Brad says she didn’t notify Shiloh. Michael says she couldn’t. She would have been dragged back to the compound in Beechers Corners. She wasn’t negligent or deceptive; she was incredibly brave. Chase comes in, saying he’s glad he caught Michael. Michael asks how Chase knew he was there, and Chase says he’s a detective – and someone at Michael’s office told him. Michael says, someone is getting fired. He’s just kidding. Brad says Wiley’s grandmother is expecting them. Chase says the baby really likes Michael. I have to laugh. Wiley is wearing a little bow tie, and smiling his baby butt off at something off-camera.

Lucas asks if Willow’s mom knew what was going on. Willow says, she was one of the first to be initiated. She considered it a great honor when Shiloh chose Willow for the Trust. She was all for it. Shiloh convinces you to trust his will over your own. If he wants you to recruit or organize, you do it. She found out she was pregnant, and maybe it was maternal instinct, but she realized what Shiloh was doing was wrong, and didn’t want that for her child. She had to escape. Lucas is sorry. He has so many questions; he doesn’t know where to begin. She says she’s an open book, but doesn’t see how it matters. She thought she did everything she could to keep Shiloh from finding out, but it wasn’t enough. She should have hidden better or kept going. Lucas says if she had, Wiley wouldn’t be with them. He’s grateful she made a plan to protect him. She says, except it didn’t work. She doesn’t want Wiley trapped in the life she risked everything to get away from.

The clerk comes back, and gives Sam a folder. Julian says he’s in a hurry. He’s on the clock, and time is money. A smoke alarm goes off, and the clerk goes in the back. Sam and Julian shuffle the papers all around, and exchange them for other papers. On the phone, the clerk says, that’s the third time this month. There’s no fire. He returns, and tells Julian and Sam, false alarm. Between pranksters and an outdated system, this happens too much. Julian says he’s out of time. Thanks for wasting his morning. Sam says, how rude, and the clerk says he’ll file the documents. Sam thanks him, saying it will make a big difference to her little boy’s life.

Lulu feels like she’s missing something, and Peter asks if she interviewed the victims and got police reports. She says she did, but she feels terrible saying it seems like front page news. Peter says that’s the nature of the beast. She’s not hoping for another serial killer, but the story feels cheesy. Maxie says, the story is important to women who were looking fall in love, and who got robbed instead. Lulu says, Maxie is right, but she wants to make an impact. Peter suggests she let the police do their job. Lulu says they’re not prioritizing it. To them, it’s just stolen property, most of which was insured. Maxie asks if Lulu thinks she’s the person who should bust the guy, and Lulu says she thinks she’s in a position to do so. Peter says, as her boss and friend, he’d like her to consider another way to prove herself without actively looking for trouble.

Harmony tells Shiloh, that’s impossible. He can’t prove Willow had his child. Even if he could, there’s no chance Willow will confide the truth in her. Shiloh says he’s disappointed in Harmony’s absence of common sense. Doesn’t she think he can see her for what she truly is? A sad, insecure, empty vessel, jealous of her own daughter. When she should be elated, she chooses to prefer thinking the child doesn’t exist or can’t be found. Harmony says, that’s not true. The child would be a blessing for all of them. He asks if she means that, and she says, with everything in her. He says, then she should be grateful for the opportunity to redeem herself.

Lucas apologizes for how he treated Willow at the Nurses Ball. She says he was blindsided and it was understandable. He says angry and paranoid isn’t who he wants to be, and when he had time to process everything, he realized Michael thinks highly of her, and he thinks highly of Michael. Willow says Michael is a great guy. Lucas says his husband has his own concerns, but realized she wants the best for Wiley, and they decided to trust her. He’s not sure why, but he’d gotten it in his head that she was the enemy, and he was mistaken. She says they’re on the same side; team Wiley all the way. He asks why she let them keep Wiley, and she says they lived up to all their promises in the application. She ultimately realized Wiley might have been her baby, but he’s their son. She loves him, but as much as it hurts to let him go, she has no doubt Wiley is where he belongs. Lucas says they’d wanted an open adoption, and now that they know her, it would be an honor if she would be part of Wiley’s life. She thanks him, but she’s afraid that’s not possible. She can never see Wiley again.

Chase thanks Michael for staying with Willow at the Nurses Ball. Michael says he heard Chase caught Ryan, and congratulates him. Chase says it was a strange team effort. He’ll tell Michael all about it sometime. Meanwhile, there are other people he’d like to see behind bars. Michael says, Shiloh? When he found Willow, Shiloh was looming over her, using physical intimidation. Chase says Willow didn’t tell him that, but he’s happy Chase was there for her. He doesn’t know what might have happened, or what he’d have done if Shiloh hurt Willow. Michael says they’ll do anything to protect Wiley. Speaking of which, he needs to ask, how long did Chase know Wiley was Willow’s child? Chase says he put the pieces together a while back, but it wasn’t his truth to tell. The more people who knew, the more danger Wiley was in. Michael says they’re past that now. They need to be willing to do anything to stop Shiloh. Chase says, he’s in.

Lucas asks Willow, why? Shiloh? She says, as long as Shiloh is breathing, it will never be over. He’ll find some way around any roadblocks. The only reason she’s talking to him now, is that Shiloh is in the hospital. He has no time to send his minions to spy on her. Once he’s out, he’ll gather his most trusted followers, telling them about the woman who’s too selfish to allow him to raise his own child. There will be eyes on her day and night, watching where she goes and what she does, and especially who she talks to. Lucas says, no last goodbye, and she says she can’t risk it. Neither can he. It will give Shiloh no reason to connect them. Lucas says, what about Michael? He’s Wiley’s godfather. She says she’ll stay away from him when he’s with Wiley. If Shiloh or the DOD members see how she looks at Wiley, they’ll know he’s not just some random kid. Lucas is really sorry. He wishes Wiley could get the chance know his brave, remarkable mother. She says, just keep him safe. He thanks her for everything. The courage to get away from Shiloh, for choosing them, and giving Wiley up. One day when Wiley is old enough, he promises to tell Wiley about his mother and how much she loves him.

Harmony tells Shiloh that she’d do anything to prove herself. He’s relying on that. She asks how she finds a child they’re not sure even exists. He tells her to remember the day she came to him, eager for guidance. He took her under his wing, and gave her a home. She says she’d be lost without him. He believes that, and would hate to see it happen, but if she doesn’t bring him his child, she has no plac in DOD, the Trust, or with him.

Margaux watches the video of Sam being drugged by Shiloh. Jason says, after that, Shiloh took Sam to another location. Margaux asks if Sam gave consent to the recording, and Jason says, yes. It’s admissible in court. She says she knows New York law. Sonny tells her to think of how many others he’s scammed out of money, secrets, and their free will. She says she gets it. Jason says she heard what Shiloh told Sam. It’s clearly a ritual. He drugs them, tattoos them, then has sex with them, and there have been multiple victims. Sonny says he’s going to do everything in his power to see that Shiloh is exposed for the sexual predator that he is. She has to figure out if she’s going to bring him to justice or be his accomplice. She says there are circumstances that prevent her from taking action, but Jason says he found Pledges; personal, incriminating letters and audio recordings from DOD members. She asks what he proposes to do with them, and he says he already destroyed them. Sonny says, except this one, taking an envelope out of a drawer. Jason says he has to be somewhere. Sonny says he’ll take care of the rest of this. When Jason is gone, Sonny asks Margaux, what next?

On the phone, Margaux tells someone to text her when the judge signs off on the warrant. Sonny says she won’t regret it, and she tells him, go to hell. He loves dangling her Pledge over her. He says that’s not what he’s doing, but she says he loves every minute of it. He says Shiloh exploited his daughter. What he’s doing isn’t about her. It’s about saving innocent victims from a con artist and rapist. She has to be the hero. Shiloh has nothing to hold over her. She says, but Sonny does.

Lulu says the thief is probably using a different picture each time. Her profile is dull. She wouldn’t even rob herself. Maxie suggests a night out would lift her spirits, but Lulu says, a night out with a man who’s not her husband won’t lift her spirits.

At Charlie’s, Jason asks Michael how Kristina is doing. Michael says she’s trying to convince everyone that she’s not as fragile as she is. Jason says he has news that might help. They’ve talked to the DA, and there’s a good chance Shiloh will be arrested. Sam joins them, and says she thought Michael would be at the office. He asks if that’s her way of getting rid of him, but she says, never. Jason says everything is taken care of. Margaux just needs to arrest Shiloh. She heard the recording of Sam and Shiloh at the DOD house. Michael asks if he wants to know, and Sam says it was vile and disgusting, but it’s over. Michael says, once Shiloh is behind bars, the people he hurt can begin anew.

Chase visit’s Willow’s classroom. She tells him, Lucas is a good man. She’s glad she picked him to be Wiley’s father. Brad too, but Lucas stood out. He even offered to make room in Wiley’s life for her. She wanted to say yes, but there’s no way with Shiloh lurking around. Chase says, it isn’t forever. Too many people have Shiloh on their radar. She says, he has a way of getting out of trouble more easily than he gets in it. Chase’s phone rings, and he says, right away. He tells Willow that he’s psyched. A warrant has been issued for Shiloh’s arrest. Someone must have finally pressed charges for sexual assault. He’ll be too busy with the trial and going to prison to look for Wiley. Willow says she’s not jinxing it by saying anything. She’s not believing it until Shiloh is truly behind bars once and for all. Chase says the first step is to arrest him, and this one is his pleasure.

Michael asks Sam how Danny’s birthday was, and she says Danny got a great present. So did she. Jason is moving back in. Michael says, it only took two years, and Jason says, some things are worth the wait. Sam approaches Julian, and orders coffee. She thanks him, and he says he couldn’t have done it without her. It’s nice to be on the same team. Sam kind of smiles.

Brad comes into Charlie’s, and tells Julian that Lucas texted him to meet there. It sounded urgent. What’s going on? Julian thinks Lucas should fill him in.

Shiloh tells Harmony that he’s said what he had to. Goodbye. She says, don’t do this, and he says he’s not doing anything; neither is she. I desperately want to punch him in the face. He says she has one simple task. Bring him the child. She doesn’t know where to start. He says if she brings his child to him, she’ll be the most important person in his inner circle. He starts touching her face, and she says she’d love that more than anything. He says, then she knows what to do. The only thing that matters – now he’s grabbing her face – is for her to bring his child to him. He pushes her back, and she says, of course (🍷), and leaves. Shiloh gives his creepy look.

Lucas comes into Charlie’s, and goes over to where Michael, Jason, and Sam are sitting. He says he was expecting to just meet Brad, and asks if Jason knows. Jason says, he knows everything, and Sam says she has good news for them. Brad says Lucas looks calmer, and Lucas says the fear of losing their son made him understand the desperation Brad has been feeling. They’re in this together. He spoke to Willow, who cleared everything up. He wanted her to know she’s not alone in the fight. Michael says he thought Sam swore she’s never cooperate with Julian under any circumstances, but Jason says she was motivated. They still can’t trust Julian though. He has his own agenda. Sam says, Wiley is in a safer place than he was yesterday. She takes that as a win.

Sonny says Margaux put out the arrest warrant because of her Pledge, but Margaux says, she did it because it’s her job. For as long as she has it. She tells him, let’s be honest. If the Pledge becomes public, her career is over. Sonny’s got her where he wants her. He asks if she’s sure about that. She says her mother conspired to have her father murdered, and he has proof she covered it up. He has all the leverage he needs. Congratulations. He wins.

Lulu tells Peter and Maxie that she has to get started, and jets. Maxie says she thought Lulu would never leave. They have to get moving on their plan to get Dante home. Peter says, the more he thinks about it, the more he thinks it’s a bad idea. Dante’s condition is unstable. If there’s a chance something could go wrong, and Lulu or the kids could get hurt, he doesn’t want to put Dante in that position. The most important thing is Dante’s complete healing. Maxie says, without Lulu, he can’t completely heal, but Peter says he has a psychological issue. Maxie says Lulu won’t be happy without him. Peter says, it’s not up to her to decide what makes Lulu happy. She says, good point. He says, at the very least, they need to know what they’re dealing with. She says, to do that, they have to find Dante.

Margaux gets ready to leave, and Sonny tells her, wait. Don’t forget this. He gives her the envelope, saying, it’s the only copy. He doesn’t want any part of her life in his hands. As far as leverage goes, blackmail is a crime. He takes it she’ll do the right thing, and tells her to take care of herself.

Julian tells Lucas that if the birth father goes looking for a paper trail, he won’t find one. Lucas asks if he’s sure, and Julian says Lucas asked him to handle it; it’s handled. Lucas and Brad hug.

Sam says, here’s one for the good guys. They scored a victory. They clink coffee cups.

Harmony goes to Willow’s classroom, and Willow asks what she wants. Harmony closes the door. She says she just came from seeing Shiloh, and Willow says, color her shocked. Harmony says, he knows his child is alive, but Willow says she told him the same thing she told Harmony – she lost the baby. Harmony says she doesn’t believe that. Willow says if her lack of belief could magically bring her baby back, that would be great, but it’s not how life works. Harmony says, of all people, Willow should know who she’s dealing with. Willow says Shiloh isn’t an unstoppable force of nature; he’s a man. Harmony says, exactly, and she knows what kind of man he is. Harmony protected her secret, and kept it from him all this time. Willow needs her help again. Tell her where the baby is.

Chase tells Shiloh that he’s under arrest. Shiloh asks, what for? and Chase says, extortion, attempted rap, sexual assault, and other assorted offenses. He cuffs Shiloh to the bed, and reads Shiloh his rights. Does he understand? Shiloh glares at Chase, who glares back.

Tomorrow, Jordan needs to speak to Stella alone, Harmony thanks Willow for confirming what she knew, Carly isn’t running from Ava, and Shiloh trusts Margaux has a way to vindicate him.

The Real Housewives of New York City

When we left the women, Sonja had just taken a drunken fall at the dinner table after saying she was going to knock Bethenny out.

Upstairs, getting ready to go out with Tinsley, Ramona digs for a Ziplock bag of make-up. Barbara and Bethenny examine Sonja’s head. Bethenny wants the paramedics to come, so she knows Sonja is okay. She puts Sonja in bed, and Sonja says Bethenny’s ass is amazing. Tinsley asks, what happened? Bethenny gets in bed with Sonja, and Tinsley asks if they’re not going out now. Ramona says they’ll be back in an hour. Bethenny asks Sonja how many fingers she’s holding up. After Sonja answers correctly, she asks who the President is. Sonja says, Clinton, but after a few tries, gets it right. Ramona tells Tinsley, Sonja is in good hands. She’s out of there.

The paramedics come. Bethenny tells them that Sonja tripped, and she wants to make sure she didn’t hit her head. Sonja declares the paramedics hot, and asks if they can check Bethenny too.

Ramona sees a gurney outside, and blathers about going to the hospital after a car accident. Tinsley thinks it looks scary. Sonja yowls as the paramedics take some blood. In her interview, LuAnn says, after everything that was said, she can’t look at Sonja right now. The paramedics ask if Sonja takes any medications, and she says she’s allergic to dust mites. Okay… Bethenny is relieved that Sonja’s pupils don’t look like she’s taking anything, and wants to shove that up LuAnn’s ass. It’s not a cavalier thing you go around saying.

Tinsley and Ramona go to a bar. Tinsley doesn’t want be super annoying, but Miami brings up Scott. In Tinsley’s interview, she says it brings up the fun and excitement of something she thought was forever. Miami was their first long date ever, and he got her flowers. We flash back to the mammoth flower heart that he had delivered. She says he sent flowers when she was in Mexico too, and we also see those. She says they’re not together now, and no flowers. Ramona asks what kind she wants. She’ll buy them. In Ramona’s interview, she says Tinsley is obsessed with Scott, and needs to get back in the game. She tells Tinsley that she can’t put all her eggs in one basket. Ramona demonstrates what life is about using wine glasses.

LuAnn wonders why there’s no one to help in the morning. Bethenny says even though the evening was a traumatic experience, she liked how much they laughed. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she needs time to be alone, and process; ease her way into the day. She’s not in a rush. She does a yoga class.

Dorinda wakes Ramona. She’s decided to do yoga, and says it’s too beautiful out to sleep. Sonja asks if they took blood (they did). In her interview, she says, Miami Vice houses aren’t made for going all four legs out like a pony, but she learned to fall from horseback riding. She apologizes for scaring everyone.

Sonja tells Bethenny that since she came to dinner late, she missed the drama with LuAnn. She left before Bethenny got there. Bethenny says LuAnn was just screaming at someone for coffee. Where are her minions with the coffee? In her interview, Bethenny says LuAnn is the Joan Crawford of coffee. She’s making her success look bad.

Ramona tells Sonja that they’re looking good. All this working out is working out. She and Sonja are ready to go to the water. Bethenny decides to make breakfast. Sonja says she feels great, but has a bruise. She thanks Bethenny, and they agree LuAnn is in her own world. Dorinda says she tries to treat LuAnn with fragility, but LuAnn makes her feel like less of person, and she doesn’t want to deal with it. In Dorinda’s interview, she says LuAnn is a narcissist, and she doesn’t want to deal with narcissists.

Ramona goes out to talk to LuAnn. She asks how yoga was, and LuAnn says it’s what she needed. Last night was awful. What was awful was the girls getting trashed, and trashing her. She thinks they have a problem with her success. Ramona disagrees. LuAnn says she found something she loves, and they’re trying to rip it apart. We flash back to the dinner the night before. Ramona thinks the women feel she has an attitude toward the group that’s aloof and condescending. LuAnn says, they hide behind calling her the Countess because they don’t want to support her doing well.  She adds that she’s trying to stay sober while they’re getting wasted. She can be around people drinking, but not sloppy drunk. They don’t want to see her do well. Ramona says she’s completely wrong, and LuAnn asks, why treat her that way then? Did Ramona see what happened at the table, or is she blind?

LuAnn says she has a bone to pick with Sonja. Every time she sees Sonja, she’s drunk. As a friend, she can’t watch Sonja spiral into darkness. She’s lucky she didn’t kill herself. In LuAnn’s interview, she says after Sonja said all these devastating things to her, no one checked on her, and Bethenny was extreme. Sonja tells the other women that she had five drinks, and in her interview, Dorinda wonders in what kind of glass. A 24-ounce tumbler? Sonja says, the welcome drinks always get you. LuAnn tells Ramona that she’s going to ask if Sonja wants to join her at the AA meeting. She’s not asking her to join the program, but just come along. Ramona says, everyone is in discord. LuAnn doesn’t want it like that. She needed this trip. Ramona says, it will work out.

They wonder where Barbara is. Bethenny says Barbara experienced trauma. In her interview, Bethenny says it was mean of Ramona to exclude her. Maybe it’s like she’s at the wrong lunch table, and it’s not her vibe. LuAnn asks if Sonja is okay, and Sonja says she feels great. LuAnn says she’s worried about her. It’s not normal to face plant at the dinner table. Sonja says, you, who fell in the bushes, and we see the clip that’s the gift that keeps on giving. LuAnn says she owns it, like that makes it okay. Sonja says she just needs to find that place of moderation. LuAnn say she worries about Sonja. Sonja asks why LuAnn is complaining about her to the girls, and not coming to her? If Sonja went around saying that about LuAnn, LuAnn would be in jail. LuAnn claims she tried to talk to her, and Sonja says she has to keep between them. LuAnn says she’s worried about Sonja, and Sonja says she heard her; she’s got it. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she’s not the drinking police, but she doesn’t want the same thing happening to Sonja that happened to her. She asks if Sonja wants to go to a meeting with her, and Sonja says she’ll see how she feels. In her interview, Sonja says she doesn’t want to go to a meeting with LuAnn while they’re on vacation. She doesn’t think she has a drinking problem. They go back inside. Sonja says they have two points of view, but they’re good. Dorinda says, just treat each other with respect. They decide it’s bathing suit time, and LuAnn says she’s going to a meeting first.

Seeing LuAnn on her way back in, Barbara says she went for a run. It was a tough night. LuAnn laughs, and says she’ll see Barbara at lunch. Ramona apologizes to Barbara. She says they both have strong personalities, and aren’t easy to handle. Ugh. She’s one of those people who says, we were all drunk, when they were the only one behaving like an a-hole. The women go to the pool.

Bethenny is first in the pool. Dorinda comes out, and realizes she didn’t take the plastic off the crotch of her bathing suit. She asks how many people are coming to dinner, and Ramona says, thirty in total. In Bethenny’s interview, she says Ramona is controlling how many people are coming, and has a whole bunch of rules. Dorinda takes picture of Bethenny, and Ramona photo bombs, going by on her pool noodle.

Ramona tells Tinsley that Mario met her in the city with the girls, and he’s going to come tonight. LuAnn joins them, and Bethenny asks Ramona if Mario could be a friend with benefits. LuAnn says, it’s hard to put on old slippers. Bethenny asks if Mario is bringing someone, but that’s a no. Ramona, however, has invited someone for herself. Bethenny asks if that isn’t a double-standard. Mario can’t bring a date, but Ramona gets to flirt. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, thank God the women agreed to leave the house for a day. She’s taking them out for some culture to Wynwood Walls, an artist enclave. Bethenny says she doesn’t want to go crazy tonight. Her goal is to find men for Tinsley to meet. Tinsley says her sister Dabney is coming.

When they get to the venue, Ramona says she’s visiting friends in another hotel. In her interview, she says the women are going to be walking around for two hours, and they have a big party tonight. She’s invited a date and Mario is coming. She has to figure out how to play both men. Alrighty then. Sonja wonders, how many guys can one woman handle?

LuAnn introduces the women to artist Peter Tunney; she’s known him for years. He’s a New York based artist, who moved to Florida. Bethenny buys a piece of his art, and he gifts everyone with something cool from his collection. Afterwards, they go into another building, where Bethenny’s friend, artist Romero Britto, works. Bethenny says he’s all about joy and love and fun, the same as his art. In her interview, she says she wanted give the girls a gift; something special to remind them of the trip. They’re not being vapid arguers when they do something like this. Romero gives each of them a sparkly heart sculpture. Bethenny says Ramona doesn’t get one, since she couldn’t be bothered to come. Another bar, another pool, Ramona doesn’t get two pieces of signed art.

Getting ready for dinner, Ramona feels like she’s going to the prom. In Ramona’s interview, she says she loves entertaining, and knows it will be a great party. She planned the menu, and invited great people. She’s psyched. She tells Sonja about her date, Kevin. She told him that her ex would be there. In her interview, she says she wanted a buffer. She didn’t want Mario to feel like she was pressured to be with him all the time. Oh come on. Bethenny tells Tinsley to have fun, but not keep her awake all night.

Mario arrives. In Ramona’s interview, she says she can’t help it. They’ve always had chemistry, and always will. We flash back over several years of that. She says that’s why they were married for over twenty years. In Sonja’s interview, she says she wants to watch how much she drinks tonight. She doesn’t want to go overboard. Ramona picks a wedgie out of her ass right in front of everyone. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s never seen Ramona flirt. Is that sexy? She thinks she missed that chapter. She doesn’t know if Ramona has Mario there to play with him, but she’s jsut sitting back and watching. She tells Mario that Ramona told her date he was going to be there. So there won’t be any funny stuff. Ramona acts like she’s fourteen, and I’m embarrassed. In her interview, she says a little part of her wants to make him jealous.

LuAnn looks amazing in a red strapless jumpsuit that has a cut-out neckline. Even with all the men around, Tinsley is more excited to see Dabney. LuAnn says she plans on having fun, and hanging out with her friends. No repeat last night. Ramona tells Mario that Sonja makes sh*t up all the time. Mario wonders who Ramona’s date is, and asks each of the men, are you the guy? causing Ramona to act juvenile and stupid. Sonja eats an eel sushi, and Dorinda laughs at how she chugs it down. Sonja tells Dabney that she just deep throated a sushi.

Kevin arrives. Bethenny asks Mario how he’s doing, and he says golfing, tennis… She says he’s living the good life. In her interview, Bethenny says the dynamic between Mario and Ramona is modern. She’s jealous, and she loves it. She asks if Mario and Ramona are friends, and have consciously uncoupled now. Out by the pool, Kevin asks Ramona which one is her ex, and how long they’ve been split. She points out Mario, and says four years; he had a midlife crisis. Tinsley tells Dabney, the place suddenly became Scott, and gets squeaky weepy. Dabney says Tinsley needs to appreciate and respect herself, and not beat herself up over someone who couldn’t handle how special and awesome she is. In her interview, Tinsley says Dabney is her little sister, but gives tough love. She knows what Dabney is saying is from her heart. Dabney is wiser than she is, so she listens.

Bethenny tells Tinsley to come downstairs. There’s a guy she wants Tinsley to meet. In Bethenny’s interview, she says Tinsley wants to meet a successful, good-looking, wealthy guy, and she knows him. She was set up on a date with Brent, and he was a lot of fun. Even if he’s just a temporary distraction from Scott, it’s a win. Tinsley can’t talk to him, and tells Dabney that she’s a loser. She has more game than this, but she can’t do that right now.

Dinner is served. In Bethenny’s interview, she says Ramona takes joy in this being her house and her party, so they’re going to play with her. Dorinda makes a toast. She thanks everybody for coming, and says what a beautiful house it is. They’re happy to have everyone there, and she thanks LuAnn for bringing them to Wynwood Walls. She thanks Bethenny for arranging to have the sculptures made. They came home with thousands of dollars’ worth of art. Ramona – probably in hearing that it was free- said she missed out on art? Dorinda says the pieces were worth at least twenty grand. One artist is working with the Pope, Presidents, and the Queen Mother. Bethenny adds, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and starts laughing. I do too, since it was perfect. In her interview, Bethenny says, if you play for a bigger, better deal, you miss out on some special deals. You flooze, you lose. Ramona claims she was trying to organize something, but Sonja says she was at the hotel with guys. In Ramona’s interview, she says she’s surprised they didn’t bring something back for her. When Sonja didn’t go to the clambake, she brought back lobsters. We flash back to her dumping food in her tote bag.

Ramona introduces Mario to Kevin. In her interview, she says she and Mario are in a good place, but she doesn’t mind giving him a taste of his own medicine. Mario says something about Avery, and Kevin wanders off, looking for coffee. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she feels sorry for Mario; it’s so awkward. She doesn’t know if Mario is jealous or horrified.

Sonja tells Mario about Ramona making out with Harry. Ramona says she did not, and tells Sonja to shut her effing mouth. Dorinda wonders what difference it makes, and Mario asks if Sonja is jealous. Sonja says she doesn’t want Harry, but Harry’s in love with her. In Ramona’s interview, she wonders what Sonja is thinking. She’s not thinking. Mario asks if Harry is back in the picture. Dorinda says there’s a lot of cross-pollination in the group. Then Mario says something I totally miss. I’m pissed because it’s obviously the punchline for the end of the show, and has irritated Dorinda. Dorinda says she’s not a loser.

Next time, Sonja feels alone and overwhelmed, Sonja says LuAnn is judging her, and Bethenny tells LuAnn that life is not a cabaret – then breaks down.

Southern Charm

Austen was thankful that Craig and Shep set him straight about Madison. Craig said Madison was so sneaky. It seemed like she’d done this before. I thought she couldn’t be that sneaky, hitting on the boyfriend of a girl in the group. Craig summed it up perfectly, saying, people suck. Chelsea didn’t have much sympathy about Austen being upset, since they’d already cheated on each other. Do better and you’ll find better. She told Shep that Austen had talked sh*t about her. She finds it odd that he’d talk about his ex to his girlfriend, and then his girlfriend told his ex, i.e. her.

Cameran felt like she was drowning in motherhood. Some women flourish in it, but she didn’t think she was up to the task. She thought maybe it was a lesson from God that she needed to allow someone to help her, but she was afraid something bad would happen to Palmer.

Danni told Naomie that Kathryn was MIA again. We flashed back to last year when Kathryn shut out the world, and also when Danni told her that she had to communicate. Danni told Naomie it was draining her. Cameran told Chelsea that even though it was Kathryn’s trip, they were doing something even if they couldn’t hunt her down. She already told her husband she was leaving, and wasn’t missing the opportunity.

Kathryn returned home to a million texts, and smiles at the ones from new boyfriend Joe. She was in New York and Miami. She called Danni, who made a big deal about it, and Kathryn said Danni was the only one who’d called. She’d made concrete plans, and didn’t know why it was an issue. Cameran said the best thing was to not meddle in Kathryn’s business. She always resurfaces. The girls met at Kathryn’s house. Kathryn made plans for them to go to a vineyard and dinner, but wanted them to mainly relax. In the car, one of the girls announced that people were shoving gummi bears up their butts. Cameran didn’t understand why anyone would shove anything up there, including a wiener, and I’m totally with her there. Kathryn talked about Joe. He wants to open a law office in Charleston. Kathryn says it’s the first time since meeting Thomas that she felt excited about someone.

Eliza went home to where she grew up, Airy Hall lime plantation. Her dad was her idol, but after his public affair they didn’t talk for a year. She just wanted to hide. While she’s forgiven him, she doesn’t think it will ever be like it was. She’d been scheduled to go to the Bahamas, but boyfriend Don forgot his passport. She was pissed that the missed the plane – until it crashed. She told her father about not being as welcomed by society since his affair, and the hugged it out. We haven’t met him yet, but he already seems like a million times cooler on his worst day, than Thomas is on his best day.

Chelsea thought the forest they’d be staying in was like Robinhood, Prince of Thieves, but Naomie thought it was more Blair Witch Project. They were staying in fancy treehouses, and Cameran said it looked like something from a fairytale. I had to agree; the whole place looked magical. Danni had concerns about Kathryn, but Naomie said Kathryn was acting normal, and to leave it alone. At the vineyard, they did a wine tasting, with Kathryn having juice from the same vineyard. Kathryn got a text from Whitney, saying, yo, where u at? How old is he? Nineteen? The girls asked Kathryn what Whitney was like, and pumped her for information. We found out he kept his glasses on, and I literally lol’d. So did they.

On a sad note, Whitney’s dog Smoochie wasn’t able to walk. Whitney said she was the only woman who hadn’t let him down.

Danni wanted to call Kathryn out, but didn’t want it to be counter-productive. Dinner was served in another treehouse. Cameran toasted to having wonderful men, but not needing them. She said the sign of a good man is when they never put you down, even in an argument. In her interview, Kathryn said she always had to learn the hard way, and we flashed back to one of Thomas’s not-so-shining moments. Kathryn wanted the girls to meet Joe, and said he was going to be in town next week. She felt there was something special between them; he’s easy to be around, and encourages her success. Danni chose that moment to ask why Kathryn was MIA all week.

Kathryn said she went to a charity event in NYC, and missed her Charleston flight, so she went to Miami (presumably to be with Joe). Danni said Kathryn had built so much, and she thought Kathryn was self-sabotaging. She wasn’t responsive, and they thought she’d be home sooner. Kathryn said she had no reason to be back, and was feeling attacked. Danni said she was worried. Kathryn had been testy, and her moods coincided with her seeing a new guy. Danni said she knows how Kathryn avoids, but Kathryn insisted she wasn’t avoiding. Danni whined about Kathryn not being accountable for day to day stuff, like being late. Kathryn says she’s changed homes a bunch of times, and has had no structure, while dealing with depression. She wasn’t doing it on purpose, and was working her ass off to get her sh*t together. Naomie said, everyone has a battle, and Kathryn said she was doing her best. If they had any suggestions for time management, she’d be glad to hear them. In her interview, Cameran said she thought Kathryn was under a lot of stress, but had to put on her big girl panties.

Naomie pointed out that Kathryn had bought a new, expensive car. She said she wouldn’t be a friend if she didn’t tell Kathryn it was foolish. She wanted Kathryn to think things through. The perception wasn’t great, In Kathryn’s interview, she said what she did with her money is her business. She didn’t ask them these questions, because it’s of no concern to her. She wondered why Naomie should care, and Naomie said if Kathryn claimed she was fine, it was the only answer they needed. Kathryn said it had gotten considerably awkward.

Next time, Shep says Madison is diabolical, Austen admits he sabotages relationships, Craig tricks the group into helping him make pillows, and Kathryn tells Danni to eff off.

🍹🍹 Yep, It’s a Repeat…

But worth hearing again, and I’m tired.