Category Archives: real housewives

August 16, 2017 – Jared is Foiled Again, Round One of NYC’s Reunion & a Little Bit of Chefs in My Life


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Griff calls Ava a miracle worker. He says the bee sting feels better already. Ava lingers over putting it on him, and I have to laugh.

Kristina approaches Parker at the concert, and asks if she’d like company. Parker says sure, and Kristina sits with her.

Jared meets Obrecht, who thought their business was concluded. He wants to chat about the plan she concocted. He says his money never showed up. Hayden screwed him over – again. Good. Go away.

Curtis finds Finn at Hayden’s office. He wants to stop Finn from chasing her, and says he has to give her time. Finn asks why, and Curtis says she could be anywhere. She’s gone until she decides to come back. He says be glad Monica didn’t press charges, and Finn says maybe she should have.

Elizabeth calls Hayden’s mother looking for her, saying that she and Finn had a lover’s spat. Like Hayden would be going to her mother. Elizabeth literally runs into Franco outside of Kelly’s. They kiss.

Ava apologizes for embarrassing Griff, and he says no need for apologies. She says that’s the first time anyone has ever said that to her. He tells her the remedy worked like a charm. She hopes it will give her less time in purgatory, and asks him what it’s like being perfect. He says he doesn’t consider himself perfect. She says pride is a sin, but false modesty should be too. (It kind of is, according to Paul in Romans.) She calls him beautiful, and asks how he’s not led into temptation. He asks her who says he’s not tempted?

Kristina tells Parker that she loves her mother, but she’s an adult. She wants to know the real reason Parker is there. Tenure isn’t good enough? Parker tells Kristina that if it works out, she might get a senior position. She says she didn’t think Kristina would be there, but would be out seeing the world and forging her own path. Kristina says she’s doing that in Port Charles, and going to business school. Parker says she always knew Kristina would be successful, but needed to find her passion.

Obrecht tells Jared that even if Hayden put the money back, it’s still a felony. Jared says something went wrong; she got cold feet, or got caught, or kept it for herself. She owes him for all the years he spent in prison, and he’s going to collect.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he’s under cover. He’s on a secret mission for brownies, but don’t tell anyone, because it’s a surprise for her. He asks her to tell him how much she missed him. She says she’s incapable of banter because she’s so happy, and they kiss some more. She asks him about New York. He says he’ll have to sell paintings for the settlement, but the rest were returned. I have no clue what he’s talking about, and feel very much out of the loop here. Obviously, I didn’t pay attention to something. Elizabeth says that everyone can move on now, but Franco says they’ll talk about it later. She says she has to get to work, but he doesn’t want to let her go. He says she’s dangerous to the patients because she’s a contagion. He can tell something is up, and asks her what’s wrong.

Curtis asks Finn if he wants Hayden convicted, and Finn says he wants her found. He appreciates what Curtis is trying to do, but he doesn’t need a sponsor. He’s not coming unglued. Curtis is like, okay, and says maybe he’s not as together as he thinks. Finn goes over the last time he saw Hayden, and when he heard her using her old name on the phone. Curtis says it’s rough when you find out what people are capable of – it shakes your foundation. Finn says instead of coming to him, she thought stealing was a better solution. She got defensive and walked out, and he had no idea that was the last time he’d see her. Curtis says he’s not going to want to hear this, but needs to admit to something he’s afraid of –he’s still in love with her. Well, of course, it’s not like it’s been years. More like a few hours.

Griff tells Ava that he’s hardly a saint. Ava says they don’t start that way, and asks if one of them didn’t say, give me chastity, but not yet. He tells her that Saint Augustine sort of said that. He tells her that he has given into temptation, and she mentions Claudette. He says he nearly walked away from the priesthood to raise a family. For a long while, he’d hoped something wonderful would come from his fall from grace. He could have been Charlotte’s father. Ava thanks him for letting her see this side of him.

Kristina asks if Parker’s wife came along, but she didn’t want to leave her patients. She asks if Parker’s wife (who apparently doesn’t have a name) will be joining her later. Parker wants to keep things less personal because, boundaries. She asks about business school, and where Kristina wants to go with it. Kristina says that Parker left her a note and she had to track her down. Parker says sorry. Kristina feels entitled to know how it worked out. Parker says they gave it their all, but her marriage is over.

Elizabeth tells Franco about Hayden being MIA before her wedding. He’s shocked that after all she and Finn went through, she pulled a vanishing act. He suggests consoling Elizabeth, but she says she has to get back to work. He complains that she’s picking sick strangers over him, and she says she’ll make it worthwhile later. Obrecht walks in, and says it warms the heart to see him. Elizabeth says it’s not like she has one. Oh, snap!

Finn tells Curtis that he just wants to make sure Hayden is okay. Curtis asks if he can get past the mistake she made. Finn says he’s as much to blame as she is. When he was detoxing, he told her that she couldn’t be trusted. He wanted her to hurt inside the way he did, and it left a scar. Why would she have faith in him? Curtis says Hayden knew it was the detox talking, and stayed by him. Finn insists that in her mind, he couldn’t return the loyalty. Curtis says that the only thing worse than blaming her, is blaming himself. Idiot Jared walks in, and Finn slams him up against the wall, asking where Hayden is.

Griff tells Ava that there’s no sin in wanting to love and be loved, and feeling the touch of another human. She says it’s getting a little esoteric. She’s getting tired, and still trying to get her stamina back. He reserves the right to lecture her again, or at least go on another outing where there aren’t any bees. He thanks her for coming out with him, and she thanks him, saying that she enjoyed it. He leaves, and she bangs her head against the door. She pours a martini and downs it.

Kristina says that Parker told her she was recommitting to the marriage. Parker says that was the plan. She didn’t mean to take advantage, and Kristina says she didn’t. Kristina tells her that she was never more clear about anything in her life.

Franco suggests Elizabeth and Obrecht remain in neutral corners. Elizabeth leaves for the hospital. Obrecht says she never thought of Franco as the sentimental type, and he says he never thought she’d play three-card monte with urine samples. She asks if she can buy him a donut, so they can discuss what else Elizabeth said about her. Franco wonders why she thinks they’d be talking about her, and she says there isn’t a more scintillating subject. He tells her that Elizabeth is worried about her sister. Obrecht says she’d be worried too, if someone she cared about was hauled off to jail. Franco asks what makes her think that Hayden is in jail?

Jared says he’ll have Finn arrested for assault, and Finn says he’ll have Jared up on blackmail charges. Jared says Hayden owes him; it’s not his fault she lied about her past. Finn says he threatened to expose her, and Jared says he did him a favor, and calls Hayden a bitch. Finn goes after him again, but Curtis stops him, saying he needs his hands for doctoring. Curtis lays Jared out with a punch.

Parker tells Kristina that she and her wife became perfect strangers. Through it all she discovered something about herself, especially when she was with Kristina. Through all the crossed lines and mistakes that she made, she still felt brave for following her heart. Kristina suggests she’s like Anna Karenina, but without the kid or train. Parker says she doesn’t intend to get in Kristina’s way. She hurt her once, and doesn’t want to see her unhappy again. She starts to go, but Kristina stops her.

Obrecht is surprised that Hayden hasn’t been arrested. Franco says that they don’t arrest you for being a runaway bride. She says Finn must be heartbroken. She asks again if Hayden isn’t in jail, and Franco wonders why she keeps asking. She says he just came home from an excursion to a filthy city with a dying Broadway empire (my note: that’s because it’s so freaking expensive); he doesn’t need the stress. Franco questions whether she knows anything about what’s going on, and she says whatever happens to them, they more than deserve it.

Curtis sits Jared down. He tells Jared that Hayden is his friend. He blackmailed her, and caused her to leave town. Now he needs to make it right, and tell him where to find her. Jared says he doesn’t know. Finn tells Curtis how proud Jared is of his tennis skills, and Curtis says it would be a shame if his arm was messed up. Jared tells them that she promised to pay him for taking the fall, and he gave her a divorce. Where is his settlement? He says that she ran out on both of them, but she’s Raymond Berlin’s daughter, and learned to lie and cheat at her daddy’s knee.

Parker says Kristina has grown up a lot, and Kristina says losing a brother will do that. Parker heard about Morgan on the news, and says how sorry she is. Kristina tells her that losing people you love teaches you something about yourself. Parker asks what she’s learned, and Kristina says not to waste time, and not to get caught up in what doesn’t matter, but focus on the things that do. She tells Parker that she’s glad to see her, and Parker says her too.

Ava keeps drinking. She looks in the mirror, and sees herself whole. Griff is there, and tells her that miracles do happen. She asks what she did to deserve this, and he says that grace is not being loved for what you’ve done, but for who you are. He touches her face, and she says that she’s not a freak anymore. He tells her that she’s beautiful, and always was. He kisses her. Her glass drops out of her hand. She’s back in her chair, and gets up to check the mirror. Nope. Still the same.

Ava’s phone rings. It’s Valentin. She says she still has his card. She tells him that she remembers what he said. There’s just one problem – she doesn’t believe in miracles. She hangs up and rips up the card.

Franco brings brownies to Elizabeth at the hospital. He thinks she should blow off the rest of her shift. She takes one, and tells him to take them home to the boys, and she’ll be there as soon as she can. He tells her that maybe she should check the jail for Hayden.

Realizing he’s of no use, Curtis pushes Jared out the door.  He tells Finn that Jared doesn’t know where Hayden is. Finn asks if he’s just supposed to let her disappear with their baby.

Parker wants to start preparing for her classes, and Kristina needs to hit the books. She thanks Parker for sharing, and Parker thanks her for the company, telling her that she can sit in on her class any time.

Ava smells the lavender bottle. She takes it along with her bag into the other room.

Finn says that Rachel vanished and resurfaced as Hayden, but Jared still tracked her down. Curtis suggests she might have learned from her mistakes. Finn says it would take someone pretty savvy to track her down; someone who knows how her mind works.   Could that someone be Curtis?

Franco tells Elizabeth that Obrecht seemed surprised that Hayden hadn’t been arrested, and thinks there’s more to the story. Elizabeth says a lot more. Franco asks why Obrecht would be convinced that Hayden was in jail. Elizabeth says there’s only one reason she can think of – she was in on it. Obrecht approaches them.

Tomorrow, Mac toasts to a new member of the family, Maxie recruits Spinelli, and Nathan and Amy discuss the future of Man Landers.

The Real Housewives of New York City – Reunion Part One

Ohh, nice set. It’s the oldest synagogue in NYC. Ooh, the dresses! My favorite is Tinsley’s, which is a cross between a fairy princess and an 80s prom. Andy is astounded about Carole training for the marathon, since she’s known to be averse to exercise. She said she realized she had to get more fit, but needed a goal. She says it’s strange because she loves it. We find out that Tinsley and Scott are still seeing each other. Sonja has found a three-bedroom that she loves, but hasn’t put her townhouse on the market yet. Andy grills Ramona on her love life. She’s dating someone, but not the guy she met on Love Connection. BTW, this was filmed before Luann’s divorce announcement. I honestly think she waited because she didn’t want it brought up at the reunion. I don’t blame her.

Ramona is up first, and we flash back to how selfish she is. And her birthday party. Andy asks how it was watching the show, and she says that she had a bad year. She didn’t see it the way the ladies did at the time, but when she watched it, she wondered who she was. As she talks, she plays with her hair like she’s fourteen. We all agree that she gives 60 a whole new look, and she talks about the work she has done, saying that she never puts her face in the sun. I’ve been a huge advocate of sunscreen since I was in my twenties, and it makes a major difference. I live in a beach town, and there are people in their thirties who look older than I do.

A viewer wants to know why Ramona made light of trashing Dorinda’s home. She apologizes, but thinks Dorinda looks at it differently. Dorinda says she doesn’t; that’s how it was. Ramona vandalized her house. Ramona admits to being drunk, saying she knew she pulled the lights down (it was apparently something used in production), but didn’t notice that she’d messed up the wall. Dorinda says that Ramona tries to get around what she does wrong, and should just say sorry and ask how she can make it better. Ramona says it’s hard for her, and Carole says that she doesn’t see herself as a bad houseguest. Bethenny tells a story about how Ramona didn’t even acknowledge her staff in the elevator when she’s known them for years. She says that even when she and Luann were in a war, Luann was always pleasant to them. Ramona insists she goes into a zone, and didn’t notice them. Bethenny suggests she go live in a commune in a padded room. Ramona asks why they didn’t say hello to her, and Bethenny says maybe they were intimidated. She calls Ramona a horror show, and Ramona says she is what she is. Bethenny tells her to enjoy that. The way Ramona treated the staff in Mexico is discussed. They also talk about Jill Zaren’s assessment, and Ramona says that Jill doesn’t know her. A viewer asks if Bethenny is interested in reopening a friendship with Jill, and she wonders how many years have to go by before Andy stops asking. Another viewer suggests that Ramona is in the second stage of grief – anger. Ramona says disappointed is more like it. She thought she could control the outcome with her marriage, and it didn’t happen. Bethenny thinks scared people lash out.

Ramona’s party is covered. Andy asks if her wishes came true, and she says that she’s in better place. She’s more settled, and Avery graduated from college with high marks. Bethenny asks if marriage is in the cards, and Ramona says she’d like a partner in life. When asked if it’s the guy she’s dating now, she just smiles, and eventually says she’s in heavy like. Bethenny points out that she’s the only one not in a relationship.

Sonja learned the hard way that when Dorinda comes for you, she doesn’t make it nice. We see clips of Sonja badmouthing Dorinda, and Dorinda saying she has a mole giving her information. We see Dorinda confronting Sonja at dinner. Then at another dinner Clip! Andy thanks her for that, and Dorinda says someone said it to her at Citibank the other day. She explains that she couldn’t stop the verbal waterboarding, and it just came out. They start to talk about Sonja’s love life, but Dorinda is annoyed about Sonja calling her a fraud. Dorinda says she never talks to the press, and she didn’t want to start the season with a bunch of baloney. Sonja defends herself, but Dorinda says she read this stuff for months. Sonja says that by the time she saw Dorinda, she was over it, and had moved on (oh, okay), but still insists that she doesn’t talk to the press. Andy asks about Dorinda’s mole friends, but she’s not talking. Sonja’s sobriety is called into question. She insists she didn’t drink for ten months, but Andy thinks her math is off. A viewer asks about her wearing Dorinda’s PJs, and she says she felt terrible when she found out they were a gift from Dorinda’s late husband. Carole says she didn’t even apologize. Dorinda wants to move forward, and Sonja keeps saying sorry. Dorinda says don’t touch other people’s stuff, and when you do, clean it and return it nicely. Andy is loving this like the antichrist he is.

Congrats all around to Luann. She loves being married, having a partner in crime, and loves Tom. Andy asks about giving up her title, and she says she likes the Mrs. title she has now. Andy talks about how no roadblock was stopping them, even an intervention. We see clips from the whole sad story, including Missy saying she walked in on them, and that’s why she’s not seeing Tom anymore. Luann says she’s a hopeless romantic (and I desperately want to say, no, you’re just hopeless), and being with Tom was like finding home. Yeah, the home for wayward husbands. The final clip in the reel is Tom acting like he hardly knows Missy, as he introduces them. Andy asks why the wedding was so big and so white for a second wedding, plus a shower and a bachelorette party. Luann says she didn’t get that the first time around, and it was also Tom’s 50th birthday. She wanted it big and beautiful. Andy asks if Sonja still clinging to the illusion that she was invited. Luann says she did send a save-the-date card to Sonja, and Bethenny says now they have a smoking gun. Luann explains that Sonja had been talking badly about them to the press she doesn’t talk to. We see the clip of Luann’s friend, Barbara, saying that Luann was only going through with it to save face. Carole says it was out of genuine concern, and Ramona seconds that. Luann says she gets it. Andy asks what up with Ramona bugging Luann about the bridal shower. We flash back to the last reunion, where Bethenny thought Ramona knew something. Ramona says Luann is happy now, but Tom kissed the same girl from the Regency again. Bethenny says she’s heard he was annoyed that Luann was thirsty for press. Andy asks what Ramona knew.

Ramona asks if it’s important, and Luann says no, because there was nothing there. Bethenny says she’d heard that he had gone to the woman’s hotel room in Philly, and told her that he and Luann had an open relationship, but nothing happened. Ramona agrees that’s’ what happened – nothing happened. Andy stirs the pot, asking if anyone else has heard anything. Bethenny says whatever the situation is, Luann isn’t an idiot. She thinks the group is being respectful now that they’re married. They all hear things, and Luann said she didn’t want to know. Luann says not true, but roll the tape.

Luann says that Ramona kept calling Tom’s exes, trying to find out dirt about Tom. Bethenny says that her delivery is bad, but the content is true. He seems like the kind of person who goes into a bar with one person, and leaves with another. We flash back to his dog-with-a-collar comment about his wedding ring. Luann makes like it’s just his sense of humor being off. Andy asks if it’s alarming that they’ve all heard things. Bethenny says that they only care about her happiness Andy asks if Luann has an open relationship, and she tells him that she wouldn’t be married if she wanted that. Like she would say yes even if it was. He asks what she’d do if Tom cheated, and she says leave. Mic drop, and silence all around. Even I start to get uncomfortable. Dorinda says she’d kill him. Well, that settles that. Andy brings up Luann’s relationship with Count Alex, and she says they were separated and she didn’t want anyone to know.

We see the final Missy clip, where Tom takes his mic off. Luann says she hadn’t seen it until now, so she has to interrogate talk to him about it. Andy says it comes on the heels of Tom being flirty with Missy. Bethenny thinks maybe he flirts to get attention, but that there’s no ulterior motive for him marrying her. What would it be? Putting his life up for public scrutiny? She tells Luann that she puts her Countess shield up, and that if she had seen her partner saying that stuff, she’d be crying in the bathroom. Luann asks why Bethenny thinks she spent the night at a hotel last night.

Poking Luann with his pitchfork, Andy asks how she feels watching it. She sees it as Tom trying to be funny, and needs to smack him silly talk to him about how he’s making her feel. A viewer asks if other friends or family came to her with concerns, and Luann says the family situation has been tough, especially with her son, Noel. It was hard for him to accept Tom in the beginning, and he’s protective, but stands by her relationship. She says no one would have anything to gain from stepping out with Tom, and these girls he’s making out with meeting for lunch are just his friends. She has to accept him for who he is; she can’t change him. He’s a grown man who’s lived a certain way. She points out that she’s friends with Jacques, but Bethenny says she doesn’t make out with him. Luann says the only reason he sees Missy is that Ramona brings her to parties. Ramona says that’s not true.

Next time, Ramona says Tom is sleeping around. Sonja claims Tinsley’s party for her was just for show, Ramona talks about her divorce, and Tinsley’s drinking is brought up.

🍜 On MasterChef, the contestants split into two teams, with Dino in charge of the red team, and Daniel in charge of the blue team. The challenge was to cook dinner for VIPs at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Ribeye steak was the focus. I had to feed the dogs, and when I left the room, it looked like Dino’s team was tanking. They’d cut up the ribeye in a way that Gordon was not pleased with. But when I came back, they were picking two cooks from Daniel’s team to be on the chopping block. Newton and Yachecia got the pressure test – champagne poached oysters, which Christina called “Las Vegas on a plate.” I don’t know about that, but these things looked phenomenal. A little tower of delicious with a foundation of capellini, and a caviar top. They also had to make the capellini from scratch. Yechecia’s caviar fell off, but Newton struggled with the top of the jar, costing him precious time and leaving out two ingredients. I gotta say, Yachecia’s dish did not look pretty (which would not stop me from enjoying it, I’m sure), but her oysters were declared perfect. And then they did the thing I hate the most, we have to wait until next week to find out who goes home. Thanks. Next time, crawfish skills are put to the test, and a previous winner is a guest.

🍍 Tonight was The f Word finale, and I hope you caught the show. I never did catch up, but still hope to, while it’s still On Demand. It’s one of my favorite shows on BBC America, and I was thrilled that it’s been brought to the states. It’s the lighter side of Gordon, and it being aired live makes it even more fun.

🦀 It was prettier than this, but…


Champagne Poached Oysters


August 14, 2017 – A Third Gun is Found, Vicki Makes Shannon Eat & Dallas is Back


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Jason tells Sam there’s a good possibility of her getting released today. She asks if they’re all pretending she didn’t shoot Sonny. Jason thinks that’s for the best, but Sam thinks Julian knows something.

Scotty asks Julian how Ava is, and he says healing physically. Scotty says she doesn’t want to see him, but he needs a private conversation with Julian. He says the trial has been postponed until tomorrow, but it’s not a good thing.

Michael brings Sonny some coffee. He tells Sonny that Epiphany has him scheduled for PT. He says Sonny seems distracted, and Sonny says he’s just glad to be alive. Michael says Dante tells him the bullet in his leg isn’t from the Garveman’s gun, and he’s wondering who the other shooter is.

Dante confers with Nathan. He doesn’t buy that Garvelicious had a second gun. An officer brings in a gun that they found at the shooting site.

Elizabeth shows up early for wedding prep, and Ned says his job is to stay out of the way. Olivia-Q thinks she might have something for Elizabeth to do, but Monica interrupts, saying Cook quit without notice when she’s having a reception. Olivia says she fired her.

Jared meets Obrecht, and says it’s good to go. They should be able to access the money in an hour. She says he’ll get what he deserves. Jared adds that Hayden will suffer; isn’t that what she wants? She says her target is Finn.

Finn sits on a bench looking bummed. Curtis comes along, and says he doesn’t seem happy. He asks if Finn and Hayden got in a fight. Finn isn’t sure what it was.

Sam tells Jason that Julian came to see her. When she was sick and out of it, she thinks she remembers telling him that she wanted to get Jason away from Sonny. He told her the conversation never happened, but she insists it did. Jason asks what she told him. She says that she was afraid Sonny would pressure Jason into working for him again, and Julian said the only solution was getting rid of Sonny, so that’s what she did. Jason asks if she told Julian her plans. She says no, but why would he have said it didn’t happen? He asks what she did afterward, and she tells him about getting the gun. She wiped the prints off and threw it in a dumpster at the site afterward. She’s sure the police must have it by now. Jason tells her to trust him, and to promise she won’t say anything.

Alexis comes in, and Jason excuses himself, telling Sam to get some rest. Sam tells Alexis that she’s better. She’s been able to sleep. her bloodwork is improving, and they’re talking about releasing her. Alexis says she can forget all about it once she goes home. Alexis tells her about testifying at Julian’s trial. and says it was hard, but she told the truth; her conscience is clear. She says they’re in recess, and Sam asks why, but Alexis doesn’t know.

Scotty tells Julian that the DA claimed he had another trial, but there are none on the docket. Julian wonders why he’d be stalling. Scotty tells him about Jason blaming him for Sam’s condition, but Julian says he was trying to protect Sam and his kids.

Nathan tells the officer to see if there’s a bullet match. Dante doesn’t want to speculate, and thinks it will end up being untraceable. He thinks someone followed the Big Garve, and used it as an excuse to get Sonny.

Sonny asks if Dante told Michael to question him. Michael says that he loves his brother, but he’s a cop, and he’s not required to disclose anything to him. he says that Sonny getting out of the business made people nervous. Maybe a contractor shot him when he was down and distracted, and now he’s looking to retaliate.

Jared toasts to both him and Obrecht getting what they want. He says he wouldn’t have gone after Rachel/Hayden if it wasn’t for the money. They had an agreement. He asks Obrecht if Finn is awful enough to deserve her. She says he ruins many lives, now it’s his turn. Jared goes inside to get food, and Obrecht says, now for the  finishing touch.

Michael says that Sonny is getting deeper into the business he’s trying to get out of. Michael’s phone rings. It’s Obrecht. She acts all anonymous, hiding her accent, and tells him suspicious transactions have been made by the hospital’s financial officer, Hayden Barnes. He asks who this is, and she tells him to check it out for the good of the hospital, and hangs up. He tells Sonny sorry about third degree. Sonny asks Michael not to talk to Carly. He doesn’t want her to think it’s more than it is, and he doesn’t plan to retaliate against the person who shot him.

Finn tells Curtis that Hayden is embezzling. She was being blackmailed by her ex-husband. Curtis thinks he met him, but he’d said he was an old friend. Finn wonders why he didn’t say something, but Curtis says he told Hayden that she needed to take away his leverage and tell Finn the truth. He asks how things ended, and Finn says he told her that he loved her and if they were going to make it work, they had to be honest. That’s when she walked out.

Sam tells Alexis that she’s sorry to hear the trial was delayed. Alexis says that she’s tired of being involved. Sam asks how she thinks it went for Julian with her testimony; she’s afraid Alexis might try to help him. Alexis tells he that regardless, she told the truth as she knows it. Sam says that she thinks Alexis is right about the importance of telling the truth.

Julian remembers his conversation with Sam. And how he told her to get rid of Sonny. There’s a knock at the door it’s Jason, and he wants to talk about Sam.

Nathan says so much about the case seems off. Dante says if it’s a rival family, Sonny will try handle it himself. He wants the truth. An officer comes back with the results on all three guns. The gun from the dumpster matches the bullet in Sonny’s leg. Dante and Nathan take off.

Monica tells Olivia that wasn’t what she had in mind when she told her to assert herself. She needs to call Cook, apologize, apologize again, and get her back. Ned says that Olivia should be able to cook in her own kitchen, and Monica says that Cook has been with them for many years. Olivia says she’s terrorized them for many years. Monica says it’s her house, and she decides who goes and who stays. After Monica storms off, Olivia tells Ned that she didn’t get a chance to explain. He says that’s typical of the Quartermaines – react first, and asks questions later. She thanks him for defending her.

Michael tells Monica about White Hat Medical supplies being a front for Rachel Berlin. Monica says that’s Hayden’s real name. He tells her that the transfers were reversed within twenty-four hours, and they wonder why she’d do it in the first place. Monica says she and Finn were planning on going to Zanzibar for their honeymoon. They agree something doesn’t sound right, and Michael says they have to talk to her. Monica wonders why commit fraud and then undo it?

Finn tells Curtis that he should have gone after her, but he didn’t want them to say things they couldn’t take back. He wanted to give her space. Curtis says that with a woman like Hayden, that’s the last thing you should do.

Monica says they can have private conversation before the wedding, but she’s going to think positive and go ahead with the reception. She doesn’t know how to feed the guests without Cook. Olivia tries to talk to her, but Monica doesn’t want to add Olivia to her list of problems. Olivia tells Ned that Monica just called her a problem; is she?

Elizabeth sees Michael, and says that she didn’t know he was coming. He says he didn’t know there was a wedding, but needs to speak to bride. Elizabeth asks what’s wrong.

Curtis asks if Finn knows anything about the woman he’s marrying. She’s prickly and defensive on a good day. It took a lot for her to lower her defenses. She screwed up, and her past came back to bite her. She knew she was wrong, and knowing she couldn’t fix it made it worse.  He says that’s up to Finn. Instead of being upset, he needs to let her know that he loves her, and despite everything, she can talk to him – the way she loves him. Finn says he has to find her before it’s too late. Curtis follows.

Alexis asks Sam what going on. She says that she’s remembering things she did, and hid them instead of getting help. Alexis says that she hid things too, but just tell the truth and move on. Sam talks about amends. Alexis asks what she has to make right.

Julian tells Jason that he and Sam talked about Sonny, but he told her that it never happened. Jason says he lied and she knows it, and asks what really happened. Julian says that she was agitated, and it seemed like she was focused on something behind him. Jason asks what she wanted, and Julian says that she was worried Sonny was going to drag Jason back into the business, and he told her that the only way was to get rid of Sonny.

Dante and Nathan visit Sonny. Nathan says they’re doing an update on the investigation. Dante says forensics determined that the bullet in his leg didn’t match either gun, but they discovered a third one in a dumpster. None of it is adding up. Oh, just make something up, Sonny. It’s not like you haven’t done that before.

Alexis thinks Sam is holding back something. Sam says she was thinking about how crazy she acted, and feels horrible. Alexis says that Sam is on a lot of medication, and has nothing to apologize for or be ashamed about. Sam says that she can’t tell what’s real and it’s messing with her head. She has no idea how Jason survived Helena. Alexis says that he’s tough like her, and had family to come back to – her, Danny and Scout. Sam says he’s right, family first, and the kids need her.

Julian asks Jason if Sam had something to do with Sonny being shot. Ava had and even stranger conversation with her the day Sonny was shot. Sam had been looking for him, and blamed Sonny for Ava’s burns. Jason says that she was hallucinating before she collapsed. Jason tells Julian to stay away from her and leaves.

Sonny says he’s told them everything he remembers. Dante says that Sonny’s gun caused the Garvester’s wounds, and Garvey’s gun cause the bullet in Sonny’s vest. Both guns had the right prints, but the leg bullet matches the third gun. He doesn’t know who owns it, since the number was filed off and there are no prints. He asks how Sonny thinks that happened.

Jared leaves to have a smoke. Obrecht tells him that cancer is never attractive, and to enjoy his money. She calls Michael, but he’s not in his office, and his appointments have been canceled for the day. She smiles, saying he’s gone to Monica and her aim is true.

Elizabeth asks Michael what’s going on. He tells her that it’s a board matter. She says there was a strange, upsetting call from the bank for Hayden at the hospital, and asks if she’s in trouble. He tells her maybe they’ll get answers when Hayden gets back.

Monica says that Cook won’t return her calls, and there’s nothing prepared. She yells at Olivia for abusing her trust behind her back. done tieh conv Olivia tells Ned that she’s never seen Monica like this. Ned says he has her back, but Olivia doesn’t know where to start.

The bell rings. Monica is like, now what? It’s Finn and Curtis. Finn says he needs to speak with Hayden; it’s important.

Sonny doesn’t know what Dante wants. He says he has no way of knowing for certain who shot him. All he knows is that he was at the bottom of a pit, and it was a helluva fall. Maybe it messed with his memory. Dante says the gun isn’t traceable. Nathan adds that whoever shot him was a pro. Sonny say if he says so. Dante wants the truth. Sonny says he keeps giving answers but they don’t want to hear it.

Jason asks for Jordan at the station, saying it’s about the Jerome trial, but she’s not there. He asks if Dante and Nathen are, and the officer tells him that they’ll be back soon.

Monica says that Hayden isn’t back, and it’s bad luck to see the bride. Elizabeth asks Finn if he’s calling off the wedding. Finn says no, but there might be a delay. Michael asks if it has to do with GH, but Finn says it’s private. Curtis asks how Hayden seemed, but Elizabeth hasn’t seen her. Curtis tries to call, but her number has been disconnected.

Obrecht talks to herself, saying that the wedding should be starting now, assuming it takes place. He thinks Michael is too cool to confront Hayden at the altar. If only she could be there, but she’ll see the results. She says poor Finn. Who knows how he’ll manage. Hayden’s life as she knows it is over. It’s her wedding gift to him.

Jared finishes his to-go coffee and litters, throwing the cup on the lawn. He looks at his phone, and sees the account is closed. He calls Rachel a bitch, and says that she double crossed him.

Elizabeth says that Hayden is gone. She left behind one thing – her ring.

Alexis tells Sam that she should consider staying at the hospital longer until she feels more like herself, and grateful. Her disease is under control, and will be behind her. Alexis tells her it’s over and leaves. Sam wonders if it is.

Dante’s phone rings. He’s like, huh? Sonny asks if there are new developments. Dante says there’s information on who bought the third gun.

Jason overhears about the gun being found, and being taken to the evidence room.

Tomorrow, Alexis confronts Parker, the police want to talk to Nelle, and Carly tells Sam that she knows what she did to Sonny.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

One of Vicki’s grandkids gets locked in the garage. She tells us they’re two handfuls and yes, they are. She says that she’s made bad choices with men, and she wants stability. Steve seems normal, but it’s early in the season. In her interview, she remembers how she couldn’t bring her family around when she was dating Brooks, but Steve loves the grandkids like his own. She thinks it’s sexy to have a man so compassionate and caring about someone else’s kids. She’s in a good place, having cleaned up her problems and issues, and she’s hoping that the friendships she’s lost come back when they see the change. Really? You want Shannon back? I wouldn’t.

Meghan discusses the sip and see with Bridget. She says it’s basically like a baby shower with the baby. She tells Bridget about seeing Vicki at the Lamborghini event, and calls her. She extends a formal invite for the party. She’s not okay with everything Vicki has done, thinking Vicki wants to play the victim, but that’s just Vicki. She tells Vicki that Shannon and Tamra will be there. Vicki thanks her for the warning, and promises not to throw wine. My take on this situation has always been that, in her heart, Vicki knew that jerk Brooks was lying, but she lied to herself because she loved him, and really because she was lonely. No excuse for a grown-up, but come on, holding a grudge for something like that?

Diko and Peggy talk about the Lamborghini unveiling, and he asks what was up with Meghan. She says Meghan kept talking long after Vicki asked her to get off the subject. Diko says it’s like beating a dead horse. Peggy says Meghan wants to bring the horse back to life. Diko tells her that she doesn’t want to get on their naughty list, and the  has to explain the coal thing. Meghan calls, but Peggy’s phone has vibrated off the table and the screen shatters. Meghan thinks Peggy is blowing her off, but Peggy calls back.

Meghan officially invites Peggy to the sip and see. She knows what it’s like to be the new girl, and we flash back to her first argument with Shannon. She tells Peggy about the others being invited. Peggy suggests the baby be rotated, so that no one fights. Meghan doesn’t understand a word she’s saying, but she’s like, okay.

Lydia and Doug go to the sushi place where they’re having the magazine launch party, and go over the details with the manager. Lydia explains they’re bringing in liquid nitrogen ice cream and a facial grooming station. In her interview, she says a shaving station sounds good in theory, but feels like people won’t want something like that where they’re eating. Doug disagrees. The manager thinks maybe after a few drinks, it will work. Lydia says she’s waiting to see how the sip and see goes before she gives out invites to the launch. Their clients are going to be there, and she doesn’t need Shannon throwing plates in front of someone who’s on the fence about advertising with them. They test out the food and cocktails. Doug suggests they do this every week.

Tamra goes to a baby store with Shannon (who I thought was Briana from a distance) to get a gift for Aspen. She asks Shannon if she’s nervous. She thinks Shannon should see Vicki before the party, which is tomorrow. Nothing like a last minute, stressful idea. Shannon is going to gain five pounds just thinking about it.

Vicki goes baby shopping at a different store. Kelly meets her there. They’re both fawning over the cute outfits and baby gear, but Vicki suddenly senses that a baby made poo-poo in there recently. She opens the door to air the place out, and we flash back to her gagging over different smells. The store manager sprays air freshener. This never, ever works. It only makes things worse because then you have a bad smell plus some cloying scent, that wraps around it, rather than getting rid of it. Kelly says, speaking of sh*t, they’re going to be in it tomorrow. She tells Vicki about meeting with Tamra. Vicki says Tamra likes to throw a grenade, walk away, and expect everyone to get over it. In her interview, Vicki says Tamra likes to conquer and divide.

Shannon wishes she could be fake, but she can’t. She and Tamra practice hellos, and Tamra thinks Shannon looks like Hannibal Lecter. Shannon practices some more in her interview. Tamra suggests saying what’s up? instead. Shannon says she’s just not going to react to anything. We see various clips of her saying that she’s done. She tells Tamra that if she’s going to speak to Kelly, she needs to do it before tomorrow. The reaction that Kelly pulls out of her, isn’t one she wants to have again. She’s done with seeing red. I laugh because no one is ever done with anything on these shows.

Omg, Vicki discusses the vaginal rejuvenation again with Kelly. I just can’t.

Kelly tells her mom, Bobbi, about Tamra inviting her out before the sip and see. Bobbi says if Tamra says she wants to move on, move on. Kelly wants to apologize to Shannon, so they can move forward. Bobbi wishes her good luck with that.

Tamra is nervous, since both Shannon and Tamra can fly off the handle. The ladies meet at a smoothie place. Kelly goes in to order, and Tamra thinks the initial reaction went well. Shannon says she never knows what to expect, and we flash back to some nonsense. Shannon says that since Lydia had invited Kelly to The Quiet Woman, she thought Kelly came intentionally to create drama. Kelly says it was a miscommunication, and she’d thought it was just Lydia and Peggy going. She says she was kind of taken aback that Shannon got pissed off when they ran into each other. Shannon says she felt hurt by what Kelly said. Kelly says that it wasn’t her intent to get Shannon angry and upset. In her interview, Shannon thinks that after a few drinks, Kelly wanted to stir the sh*t. Kelly asks if they’re ever going to get over Vicki. She feels badly about the whole situation, and has never heard Vicki talk about them. Shannon is angry with herself over letting Vicki get to her and you know, that’s why she gained weight. She says there’s a lot of hurt between them, and she wants to make sure the nastiness is done, so she can move forward. In her interview, she says she’s still cautious, but miraculously, they end the lunch laughing.

Tamra comes to pick up Shannon for Meghan’s party. She has a super long hallway that’s hard to navigate in heels. Vicki picks Kelly up, and they have mimosas. Vicki says every time they go somewhere, they have to bring presents. She used to bring a casserole. She wonders why they can’t just see the baby, instead of sip and bring presents. She says it’s a hundred bucks every time she visits someone. Kelly tells Vicki about Shannon blaming Vicki for her weight gain. Vicki is all of us when her reaction is wtf?

At Meghan’s, everyone is greeted with champagne. Lydia says it’s a sip and see for Aspen, but to be honest, it’s a sip and see for Tamra and Vicki. I have to admit that Baby Aspen is adorable. Kelly tells Lydia and Peggy about Shannon thinking she came to the restaurant to purposely stir things up. Lydia says it was her mistake in inviting her. She thought they would just kiss and make up. Lydia doesn’t think it was malicious, and Kelly says it wasn’t. Shannon and Tamra arrive.

Vicki thinks nothing should be forced, Tamra acts snarky in her interview, and I think they should all grow up. Vicki says it won’t be like it was, but they need to be in the same place together, be classy, and move on. Peggy and Lydia come over to say hello, and Vicki orders two chardonnays, one for back up or to throw. Meghan tells Shannon that she seems anxious. Vicki says they’re not making an effort, so she’s not bothering. Shannon sees Vicki, and she’s hungry. She shovels nachos in her mouth. Vicki tells Peggy that she has to force herself to stay in a good place. In her interview, Peggy says that she sees a lot of hurt, but they need to get over the pettiness. She’s lost a mother, father, and her breasts. Wow. She makes a good point. And she actually does seem classy.

There’s a large cardboard photo of Meghan, with a cut-out where the baby’s head should be, and the women pose with their heads through it. The stuff they come up with is pretty funny.

Time to open presents. Everyone sits, and Tamra and Shannon make a point of sitting as far away from Vicki as possible. Lydia suddenly gets the expression about tension being so thick you can cut it with a knife. She doesn’t know whether she should move or speak, it’s so weird. Lots of cute presents. Tamra jokes that there’s a Lamborghini in Peggy’s gift basket. Shannon stares at Vicki when her gift is opened. Meghan says it’s a beautiful day and toasts it. Shannon says that she doesn’t feel anger; she just feels nothing, and I don’t believe it for a second.

Lydia says she’s encouraged by everyone getting along, and invites everyone to the launch party. Vicki says she’s done with pussyfooting around, and says bye. When she’s leaving, everyone makes stupid faces at each other. Outside, Vicki tells Kelly she didn’t even get a hello, but she didn’t say anything either.

Tamra gripes that she has ten years with Vicki, but has zero respect for her now. She says that Vicki is an insecure bitch. Shannon wants to eat, and asks for vodka. Tamra thinks she’s using food and alcohol as a crutch when Vicki is around. Except Vicki left. Meghan says she’s been anxious. Not because of them, but her. She has a past with Vicki too, and we flash back to that. To hear Vicki say that she’s been hurt too, doesn’t bode well. Tamra wants to know how they hurt her. She wonders if they should meet and ask her to talk, and get to the bottom of it. Shannon asks what she wants out of it, and Meghan says to get her point across. Shannon doesn’t think that will happen, and Tamra says that Vicki likes being a victim. She calls Vicki sh*t on the bottom of her shoe, and once again shows her Christianity.

Next time, Lydia goes on a helicopter ride, Kelly and Michael argue, and Peggy thinks meeting with Vicki is a good idea. Because she doesn’t know these people.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

They’re ba-a-a-ack! Stephanie and Cary get together, with Stephanie’s many dogs. Cary says they’ve become close. Stephanie says they have a new dog named Biscuit who likes to run around with her underwear, like Travis. New Wife Kameron arrives. Cary says she’s one of the wealthy ones who writes the rich people’s checks. Kameron says that she likes to play the blonde card, but tells us that it’s a con as old as hair dye. She has a blonde license plate, and everyone drives safely around her car. Cary is having a party, and inviting LeeAnne, since she wants to move on. We revisit the reunion, where she and LeeAnne made up.

LeeAnne’s friend, Marie (who LeeAnne threatened to take out last season), posted an old police report about LeeAnne trying to kill some guy with a knife – and sandpaper. Cary says she’d trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, and called her after it came out.

Brandi cruises the mall and runs into LeeAnne. They’re friends now. She says LeeAnne is in anger management, and she’s proud of her and notices a change. We flash back to their clashes last season. She thinks LeeAnne wants to be a better person and she’s trying.

Cary tells the girls that she’s inviting Brandi. Stephanie says she hasn’t talked to her in almost four months. In her interview, she says they were like sisters, but Brandi won’t say what Stephanie did wrong. LeeAnne asks Brandi if she’s spoken to Stephanie. Nope. She says she gets emo thinking about it. Brandi explains that Stephanie talked behind her back about her marriage being a slow-motion car crash. We see this written in her blog. Brandi feels that she was an open book, but Stephanie hides, making people think she has a fairy tale life. She had to put up a wall. LeeAnne asks where it’s going, and Brandi says she’s moving on.

Kameron tries to make some kind of pumpkin pasta dish. She wants to get better at cooking. She tells us she was a nerd in high school, more concerned with grades than social life. Husband Court arrives. Kameron says she came to Texas for college, and was 22 when she met him. He’s also a total nerd, and she tells us that in the wedding speech, her sister said the nerds found each other. At first she was hesitant about their height difference – she’s six feet tall, and they call Court, The Hobbit. She had no idea he was rich until he wanted to take her on a trip, and they pulled up to a private plane. Dammit! Where was this guy when I was young and single? Court is a venture capitalist, doing investments in technology. The house is massive, 7500 square feet, and they built it from the ground up. She tells us that pink is a way of taking herself out of reality. Blonde by birth; pink by choice.

LeeAnne and Rick meet other new Wife D’Andra and her husband for dinner. LeeAnne tells us that D’Andra is from a legacy family, and is also her best friend. Rich has had two eye surgeries, and LeeAnne has been looking after him. She says it’s been a difficult road. D’Andra says they’re a perfect match, since LeeAnne is mentally disabled. Rich says he’s about to retire, and he’s cool with it; he’s not defined by his job.

D’Adra’s mother is coming for breakfast. She tells us her father is a self-made millionaire, and the Simmons name is everywhere. She says she had almost 300 dresses by the time she was five, and 75 pairs of shoes, and she hasn’t gotten out of the phase. She talks about how great her husband Jeremy is, and how good-looking, but as Columbia told Frankie, he’s okay. D’Andra has felt pressure around her mom. Everyone thinks she’s fantastic, and D’Andra wonders if she’s chopped liver. Their house is full of all kinds of amazing things, since her husband is a photojournalist, and she’s also traveled a lot. Her mother started a nutrition product line that turned from a hobby to an empire. D’Andra was supposed to get the company turned over to her in 2004, but it never happened. She instructs Jeremy on how to butter his bread.

D’Andra’s mother tells her that she’s going out of town. She tells D’Andra that she has a company credit card and not to buy designer gowns with it. She asks D’Andra if she knows what a budget is. In her interview, D’Andra says that she’s always wanted to prove she can do things on her own. Her mother says she’s not walking away until she believes that D’Andra can take responsibility for the company. Sounds reasonable, but I wonder if her criteria is impossible.

LeeAnne visits her therapist Elizabeth, and they compliment each other’s clothes, which I find odd. In her interview, LeeAnne says that Rich could see she was hurting last year. She was bothered by her triggers, and he wanted her to find out why she gets angry, so she could control it better. She tells Elizabeth about someone dredging up a false report about her trying to kill a boyfriend. She says she wants to get back at her. She says that her reputation was affected by her actions on the show, but when someone hurts her, she wants to verbally destroy them. She doesn’t want others changing who she is, and the therapist says only you can change you. The therapist tells her to focus on who’s bad for her and who isn’t. She says that when Cary told her she was sorry, she believed her, because it was the same night the article was let fly. She doesn’t trust her completely, but trusts Stephanie less. She’s sure lies are being spread.

Stephanie says that she and Travis are in a better place. Last year, she felt like he was her boss. She says that things are good now, because she found her voice, and last year she was married to Brandi.

Brandi tells us that she and Bryan went through hell last year. He was so focused on his career, it seemed like the family didn’t matter. We flash back to all that. She and Bryan are chit-chatting before bed, and I can’t help but notice that she’s wearing full makeup. She thinks the thing with Stephanie made them stronger. He tells her that they’re too close not to get back eventually. Brandi thinks that Stephanie has been hanging out with everyone but her.

Travis tells Stephanie it’s getting awkward. He and Bryan are BFFs, and the argument has affected them. He says it’s their deal, and they need to fix it. Stephanie says it’s like a break-up, and she wants to protect herself from getting hurt again.

Brandi says the final straw came when she’d planned a Father’s Day weekend at her house, and Stephanie spent it inside reading magazines. Travis encouraged her to participate, and she told him to get over it. He was there to hang out with his friends.

Kameron and D’Andra go to a pet store. Kameron is looking for good dog food. She wants to start a dog food line, and now that the kids are in school, she has time to focus on her idea. Louie is the Yorkie she had before she met her husband, and she takes him everywhere. She says that life is too short to keep eating brown food, so she’s making pink food, hoping to eventually branch out to blue for boys. She thinks it could be fun and special. D’Andra tells us how smart Kameron is. She plays the dumb blonde Barbie, but knows exactly what she’s doing. Louie tests several treats, but everything is a no. He’s worse than my dogs. Kameron tries a dog cupcake, and declares it better than her protein bar. Having tried most brands of protein bars, I’d probably agree with her. The store clerk tells Louie that he’s missing out.

Cary meets LeeAnne while they’re walking their dogs. LeeAnne wanted a moment with just them, and hopes for more in the future. Cary says that she and Mark were hurt by the things she said last year. We flash back to the reunion, where LeeAnne is carrying on, and Cary looks sick. She tells LeeAnne that her family was hurt. LeeAnne says she wants to own what she did, and she’s sorry. Cary says that’s why she called LeeAnne about report before people started talking. She forgives LeeAnne, but wants them to have mutual respect, suggesting that they work on it together. LeeAnne says that whatever is going on between Stephanie and Brandi isn’t good, but neither of them wants to deal with it. Mark has a birthday party coming up, and it’s the first time they’ll be seeing each other in a while. LeeAnne finds it difficult to be in a room with an elephant. In her interview, Cary says her approach is to stay out of it, while LeeAnne’s is to stay in it. She tells LeeAnne they need to work it out themselves.

It’s Mark’s birthday party at a fancy sushi place. Lots of sushi happening tonight. Now I want sushi. Cary greets everyone. She’s wearing the coolest red dress that’s short in front and long in back. LeeAnne is focused on how Brandi is going to handle seeing Stephanie, but she says it’s Mark’s night. D’Andra suggests wearing pink camo and taking over the world, and Cary says she’s like a real life Elle Woods. I love Elle Woods. And Bruiser. Brandi tells LeeAnne about getting a text from Cary, telling her that LeeAnne is up to her old tricks and to be careful. Brandi says it sucks that LeeAnne is being talked about behind her back when she’s trying to do better. Brandi tells her not to repeat it tonight, and LeeAnne says it will be good practice. In her interview, she says that a fire is burning that even God might not be able to put out. Wow. Drama queen much? She and Brandi pray in the limo for peaceful evening.

LeeAnne wishes Mark a happy birthday. Stephanie says hello to Brandi, who ignores her. making everyone. Cary tells them to grab a cocktail, but that might not be the best idea. Stephanie eyeballs Brandi.

Mark asks Cary if they’ve worked it out, and suggests Kameron meet Brandi. Cary introduces them. Brandi has a wineglass big enough for Amy Schumer. Cary thanks them for coming, and Brandi blatantly ignores Stephanie. Stephanie asks her for two seconds, and LeeAnne says she doesn’t think Brandi wants to. Stephanie keeps trying to get Brandi to step aside for a conversation, but LeeAnne continues to answer for her, while Brandi just stares at her lap. In her interview, Cary calls LeeAnne a guard dog, and says taking a step back wouldn’t occur to her since she likes drama. She adds that the therapy is really working well. Brandi says she has to leave. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to make a scene or let people know the pain she feels. Her BFF is not her BFF any more. LeeAnne follows her out. Stephanie sheds a tear. LeeAnne makes Brandi stop, and Brandi sobs on her shoulder. LeeAnne says she’ll be right back.

LeeAnne tells Cary that she’s disappointed in her, and tells her about the text. Cary says that she’d never say that, and appreciates LeeAnne coming to her. LeeAnne says there’s obviously a disconnect between Stephanie and Brandi. Cary says it has nothing to do with her. In her interview, LeeAnne says at this point, she’ll accept Cary’s words as truth.

Stephanie tells Cary that she doesn’t understand.

Next time, D’Andra talks to her mom about the company, a dog costume contest, Brandi shows Cary the text, and LeeAnne wears a hot dog costume.



August 9, 2017 – Jared Text Stalks Hayden, Tinsley Has a Party & Some Gordon


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Jordan tells Nathan that she’ll let him know if she finds out anything about Julian’s trial. Maxie calls, saying she has another layover on her way back from Paris.

Kiki is excited about having been recruited for a medical emergency. Dr. Bench asks to speak with her.

Finn says they’re on their way tomorrow; no turning back. Idiot Jared sends his clock GIF to Hayden again. Finn says there will be a short guest list, and asks if she has any second thoughts. He says she seems distracted, and asks if she’s okay.

In the park, Stella asks Curtis to get a BLT from Kelly’s for her. What the blip is in those sandwiches that everyone loves them so much? He asks if she’ll be okay by herself. She says she’ll have her cell phone, and he tells her not to get in any trouble. After he leaves, she hears something, and looks through the bushes. She’s like OMG. Valerie comes jogging past.

The doctor tells Kiki she went way beyond her responsibilities and took liberties. She says she’s sorry if she did anything wrong, but he says he was impressed and her efforts didn’t go unnoticed. He asks if she’s considered going to medical school.

Stella wonders aloud what’s going on in the world. Valerie asks if she’s okay. She wants to call the police, and Valerie says she’s an off-duty officer. Max and Felicia come out putting on their clothes, and Stella tells Valerie that they were having relations.

Maxie has to leave in two hours. Nathan asks if she can leave tomorrow, but she wants to get back for Georgie’s camp presentation. She appreciates his understanding. He tells her that if she has any concerns, she can talk to him. She suggests a romantic picnic lunch in the park. She says he can finish what he started to say the last time they saw each other.

Stella tells Mac and Felicia that it’s not the place to act like farm animals, and if she wanted to see porno she’d have expanded her cable. Felicia says Valerie knows them; they’ve been married a long time, and were just spicing things up. Valerie says that Stella has a point, and she could arrest them. Mac is like no harm no foul, but Stella insists that Valerie write them up. She says no one is above the law. Felicia says their son-in-law is Detective Nathan West, and he can straighten things out.

Nathan tells Maxie that he doesn’t remember what he was going to say. His phone rings. It’s police business, and he has to see what it is. Maxie says she’ll come along. She doesn’t have that much time, and doesn’t want to let him out of her sight.

Hayden tells Finn that so much still has to be done. The license was easy, but pulling everything together in 24-hours isn’t easy. Finn tells her the Quartermaines have something they don’t – staff. Curtis joins them, and asks when it’s going down, Hayden tells him that it’s tomorrow, and he says his invite must have gotten lost in the mail. Hayden tells him that he’s the first guest they’re inviting, and he’d better be there, and wear a tie. Hayden’s phone rings, and she says she has to attend to some details; some things have to be kept secret from the groom. She jets. Her phone keeps ringing as she’s walking. Jared texts that he won’t be ignored. I guess when he says a week, he means five minutes.

Nathan thinks it was a couple of teens in the bushes, but Valerie says not exactly. Valerie tells him that Stella wants to charge them with indecent exposure, and technically, she’s correct. Maxie enters the picture, bearing to-go drinks, and asks if Mac and Felicia got mugged. Stella says it’s public indecency. Maxie says those are her parents, and Stella asks what they’re teaching their daughter. Felicia says Maxie turned out just fine, and Stella adds despite her freaky parents. Nathan tells Stella they can take it from here, and she reluctantly leaves. Nathan asks if it’s their first offense, and tells Valerie they need to know when justice is blind or needs to squint. Valerie says that she’s off duty anyway, and doesn’t really want to do paperwork. She tells Felicia and Mac to consider it a warning. Felicia is embarrassed, and says she’ll make it up to Nathan and Maxie, but Maxie says forget about it. She just has one question – wth?

Dr. Bench tells Kiki that she should apply to the fast track program. Kiki asks why, since he doesn’t know her. He says that he saw her in action. She was focused, cool-headed, and took care of business. He’s heard nothing but good things about her, and is firm believer in talent. They need people like her. Jordan comes out of the elevator, and asks to talk to him. He tells Kiki to think about it.

Finn tells Curtis that he doesn’t really have any friends in town since Tracy is gone, but Curtis stepped up and was there when he was recovering. Curtis asks if Finn is asking him to be best man. Finn says that he can’t think of anyone he’d like better, and Curtis says he’d be honored.

In the park, Jared comes up behind Hayden, scaring her. She asks why he’s stalking her with texts, and he asks where the wire transfer is. She tells him that there’s a problem, and he says she has a problem.

Kiki calls Dillon. She has news, but will tell him when she sees him.

Maxie tells Mac that when she was in high school, he wouldn’t even let her wear low rise jeans, and now he’s getting busy in a public park. Mac says they’re healthy, breathing, living adults. Felicia says they’re also empty nesters, trying to redefine their relationship. Maxie asks why they don’t just go on a river cruise like normal parents. Mac says he got professional advice. Maxie thinks he means a marriage counselor, but he says it was from Man Landers. Maxie asks if he suggested al fresco sex, and he says Man Landers kicked his marriage into high gear.

At the hospital, Finn approaches Elizabeth, and asks if she’s talked to Hayden. She hasn’t, so Finn tells her about the engagement. She congratulates him, and he says the wedding is tomorrow. She wonders why so soon, and thinks it’s because of the baby. Finn asks if she can be there. He knows Hayden would want that; she’s family. Elizabeth says that she wouldn’t miss it.

Jared asks Hayden if this is some kind of ploy, and does he have to tell her what the consequences will be – saying bye-bye to Finn, Finn’s sobriety, and her new life with the baby. She tells him that GH is a non-profit, and the books are closely monitored. To get money, she has to do it in a way that doesn’t arouse suspicion. She’s set up a dummy company that she’ll buy products from. In the end, she’ll look like a dupe who got suckered. She may get fired, but she’ll have her life back. She gives him the company information and a card to access the account. She tells him it will be there tomorrow. Curtis sees them.

Maxie wonders how Mac could fall for that overrated hack. Nathan is like, hey, and she says he turned down her magazine and isn’t an expert in anything since he has no degrees. Nathan says that there’s something to be said for street smarts. Maxie tells him Man Landers almost got her parents arrested, but he says it’s not fair to blame it all on blog. She asks why he’s defending Man Landers.

Kiki tells Dillon about what Dr. Bench said. She says a year ago, she wasn’t even thinking of working there, so medical school is a leap. Dillon says that Dr. Jerome has a ring to it. Kiki is like, no, and he tells her to say it out loud. She says that she appreciates the support, but what if she doesn’t have what it takes?

Jordan asks Dr. Bench about an altercation on the second floor, and he wonders if he should be alarmed. She thinks it was probably a ruse to get Jason into a patient’s room. Dr. Bench says oh, the G-man, Garvey Sullivan, shocking me that the Garvster has a last name. The doctor says he feels like he’s in a 40s gangster flick. Jordan talks about James Cagney, saying she grew up on his movies, and Dr. Bench asks if that’s why she became a cop. He tells her that they’re showing The Roaring 20s, and asks if she’d like to join him

Stella sees Valerie at Kelly’s. She says needs to catch her breath, and Valerie tells her to sit down. She asks her not to judge Port Charles by the unusual scene in the park, but it was a little entertaining. Stella says she’s looking for her nephew. They were supposed to meet at the park, but he was going to get sandwiches, and she must have missed him. Valerie suggests texting him. Stella finds out Valerie is single. She’s shocked and asks why she wants to be alone. Valerie says it is what it is right now, and Stella tells her that maybe there’s something they can do about that.

Curtis thought Hayden was out planning the big day. She acts like she just ran into Jared, and introduces him as someone from college. Curtis asks if he’s there for the big day tomorrow, and Jared is like, tomorrow? Hayden says that she didn’t have time to tell him, and understands if he can’t make it. He says he wouldn’t miss it. After he’s gone, Curtis asks what’s going on? He asks if the text she got was from Jared, and says that she was acting funny just now. Hayden says that she was just surprised to see him.  Curtis says she can tell him anything, and asks if she’s in trouble.

Curtis asks if he looks like a fool. The last time she was that sketchy, she was hiding her father’s diamonds. She says that her past is haunting her, and Curtis asks if Jared is blackmailing her. He tells her that he can do something about that, but she says she can’t risk it. Jared had nothing to lose, and the power to blow up her life. She made a huge mistake a long time ago, and doesn’t want it to destroy her future. Curtis asks what’s going to stop him from being greedy, but Hayden says that’s the risk she has to take. He says he’s not one to judge, but knows about regretting the past. The best thing he did was own his mistakes, so he doesn’t have to look over his shoulder all the time, waiting to be exposed. She needs to listen to him and not be a victim. He tells her to talk to Finn; take Jared’s leverage away before she’s in too deep.

Valerie wonders if Stella is about to set her up. Stella says she’s in town visiting her nephew, and thinks they’d hit it off – as friends; you can’t have too many friends. Valerie says she’s not into blind dates, especially being set up by someone she doesn’t know. Stella questions her trusting a dating app, and says she was just suggesting coffee with the three of them. If Valerie doesn’t like it, she can always arrest her. She has nothing to lose. Valerie says maybe she’s right.

Maxie says she knows what’s going on – Nathan is a fan and reads the blog. He admits that he reads it sometimes, and blames Mac for raising a super sleuth daughter. Mac asks Maxie not to be mad, and he and Felicia leave. Maxie is like, omg, and Nathan says he thinks they learned their lesson. Maxie says she’s more upset that this is how she spent her layover. Nathan misses her, and she says that not seeing him is hard, but knowing she might not see him for a while is harder. She asks him to come to Portland – for good. She knows he has reasons to stay, but it’s good for her there. The only thing missing is him. She wants them to leave on a good note, but wants him to think about it. He wanders off and she sits down to make a phone call. She says she has a great story, and what do they think about unmasking Man Landers’s identity?

Kiki tells Dillon that it’s not realistic. Med students are always studying and get straight A’s; she doesn’t think she’s up for it. Dillon tells her believe in herself. He believes that she can do whatever she puts her mind to, but he’ll support whatever decision she makes. They kiss, and he says the one question she has to ask herself is if she wants to be a doctor.

Jordan tells Dr. Bench that she doesn’t think dating a witness is good idea. He says that he saw nothing, and isn’t a very good witness. She tells him that she just got out of a relationship, and isn’t looking right now. He says he’s just asking for a movie and a drink. She thanks him, but says no, not there yet. He tells her that you’re not ready until you’re ready. Another Port Charles philosopher.

Stella gives Valerie her number, and says she’ll set thing up for tomorrow. They introduce themselves, and Stella says they’ll get the dating apps off her phone yet. Stella finds Curtis outside Kelly’s. He says he almost called the hospital, and she tells him that she thought she could catch him before he left. He asks how she enjoyed her day. She says it was unnerving, but mostly wonderful, and more productive than he thinks.

Hayden comes to the hospital. Finn says that he told Elizabeth the news. Hayden needs to talk to him, but his phone goes off with an ICU emergency. He says he’ll call her when he’s done. Elizabeth asks Hayden what’s wrong. Hayden says Elizabeth was right about her when she met her. She was someone who got out of paying consequences at all costs, but she’s changed. She’s not the same person, and asks if Elizabeth sees that. Elizabeth says that they all do, and wonders where this is coming from. Hayden says that she just wants the wedding to go off without hitch, and doesn’t want anyone or anything to ruin it. Elizabeth tells her that if she needs help, she’ll do whatever is needed. She wants to make sure nothing spoils Hayden’s big day. Hayden asks her to be maid of honor, and they hug.

On the phone, Jared leaves a message for Hayden not to think of screwing him over. He says that she knows what’s at stake if she does, and calls her Rachel. Finn meets Hayden, who tells him that she asked Elizabeth to be maid of honor. Finn tells her that he asked Curtis to be best man, and asks what she wanted to talk about. Elizabeth interrupts, saying that there’s been suspicious activity with the hospital account, and they need to speak with Hayden.

Tomorrow, Julian asks Scotty if he’s trying to harm his case, Ava goes out to lunch and gets pointed at, and Jared looks for Hayden at the hospital.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Bethenny visits Carole. Carole has become an official cat lady, and can’t open the windows because she doesn’t have screens. Bethenny says it’s like a cat sauna. Carole asks Bethenny about her new place. She tells Carole that her architect has never had as many problems with a building, and they won’t let him self-certify, which is a usual procedure. Carole says she had a great time in Mexico. Bethenny says she couldn’t have been happier – even if they’d taken acid, the trip couldn’t have been better. They talk about Tinsley’s new love, Scott. Carole thinks Ramona should move into Sonja’s. It’s haunted in a good way.

Tom and Luann play tennis. She says they’re still in their honeymoon phase, and it makes me feel weird knowing they’re already divorcing. She says they’re evenly matched at tennis, unlike how Ramona and Mario were. We flash back to Mario yelling at Ramona on the court. She says she taught Tom how to play, and now he’s beating her. She tells him about Tinsley’s party. She thinks everybody is happy for them now, and in her interview, says that she was on a mission to make it work, and she did. Now I feel really uncomfortable.

Ramona visits Sonja, who’s redecorated. She didn’t want to change anything until her daughter was stable, and now it’s sexier. Whatever that means. More pillows? She’s happy that Frenchie is back, since long distance relationships rarely work out. She tells Ramona that Tinsley moved out. We see a clip of Tinsley packing. Ramona wants to move in next, since both Tinsley and Luann found partners after living there. She’s glad everyone is on a good page, and they walked away in harmony from the Mexico trip. They talk about how she and Bethenny made up. She tells Sonja about Tinsley wanting to throw her a party. Sonja says that Tinsley wanted to start fresh, and she was screaming at her on the trip. Ramona says that was bad. In her interview, Sonja thinks it’s just a public statement. Ramona calls Tinsley self-absorbed. I look at the TV like… 😕

Bethenny is having lunch in her new place with a nice-looking hockey player who’s missing a front tooth. She says she’s been a serial monogamist, and isn’t used to dating. Hockey guy has some kind of bridge that he takes out to eat, but doesn’t want a permanent tooth, because hockey. Dorinda comes in, and is wowed by the apartment. She’s also impressed by hockey guy’s butt. Bethenny gives a tour, and tells them how it’s going to be renovated. She tells us that renovations are therapeutic. She could make money by flipping it, but wants to live there.

Tinsley calls about the party cake. She’s living in a hotel, because she wasn’t ready for a commitment to an apartment. She wants the NYC skyline around the tiers on the cake, and tells us that she wants the party to be special. There’s a knock at the door – it’s Carole. Geez, like Carole says, she landed nice. This hotel room is like a small apartment. Carole regifts her something from Dorinda. I think it’s a candle. She says now Tinsley and Sonja can be friends. Tinsley says in Mexico, they’d had enough of each other. She says that she’s expecting fifty people, and it was just a joke when she said it was an f-u party. Carole says it should be her happy-as-a-lark party.

John comes to Dorinda’s place. It’s their first dinner together in a while. Dorinda says now that Hannah has moved out, she can do the homemaker thing again. John has brought a replica of a Beyonce gown that Dorinda had admired. It looks like a wedding dress, and Dorinda says take it a step at a time. In her interview, she says if they ever got married, it would city hall and an Armenian diner afterward. Everyone thinks he’s moving in, but they both enjoy their separate time. She doesn’t get lonely; she calls it freedom. She says he’d softened Hannah up with his dry-cleaning abilities, and they’re in a better place.

Adam walks Carole’s dog with her. She says his moving out has made the relationship stronger. He says he never really moved in. She likes being in relationships, but it’s not a need. Living with someone is stressful for her, and she feels at her most authentic when she’s free. She’s trying to find a balance.

A glam squad comes to help Tinsley get ready for the party. Scott calls and asks if she’s excited, and she says she’ll be happy when it’s over. She says it makes her nervous to make a toast.

Sonja complains to Frenchie that it’s freezing. He has to go back to Burgundy to renovate his hotel. She’s going to be staying there for ten days prior to the renovation. She says the things she does for love – and a croissant. She’s feeling good about it, and will be meeting his parents, but she not letting go of Rocco, just in case. Sonja washed Frenchie’s business cards that were in his jeans, and he says they look more vintage. She says that the party is duplicitous, and she’s not interested in being a part of that.

Tinsley gets to the venue. The cake is amazing, black and white with the NYC skyline around each tier, and tchotchkes, like a small Statue of Liberty, on it. Tinsley gives the workers Thank You, Sonja T-shirts to wear, with XOXO, Tinsley on the back. Carole asks one of the waiters if he slept with Luann, but I’m not sure why. The view is incredible. Scott thanks Carole for introducing him to Tinsley. She says she fixed Tinsley up with her dentist first before she thought of him. Everyone starts to wonder if Sonja is coming. Dorinda says after hearing her badmouth TInsley so much, she wouldn’t be throwing a thank you party, but burning the house down.

Ramona drags a couple of friends along. She doesn’t know if Sonja is showing up, since she was in bed when Ramona called, and didn’t feel like getting ready. She thinks it’s an f-u party. Tinsley is starting to panic that Sonja isn’t going to show. Bethenny says that she has a bad attitude about the party, comparing it to Ramona’s new beginnings party. She wonders why they just can’t have a plain, old party. Ramona tries to call Sonja, but gets voicemail. She thinks it would be insulting for her not to show, and hopes Sonja does the right thing. Tinsley’s sister comes in, and they look and act almost like twins. Tom’s ex, Missy, is also in attendance.

The guest of honor finally arrives, with gay friend Tyler. I guess Frenchie left already. Ramona asks who told her about Tinsley saying it was and f-u party, and she says it was Carole. Tinsley gives Sonja a hug and kiss, and shows her the cake. In her interview, she says thank you is everywhere, but Sonja isn’t seeing it that way. Sonja complains about the Sonjatinis that Tinsley had created, claiming there’s house liquor in them. Tinsley is happy she’s there, but it’s awkward, and Sonja keeps knocking her. She wanted it to be something special. Harry is there, looking old. Sonja tells him Frenchie tossed her like a salad before he left. Ramona says Scott seems like a normal nice guy, and that’s what Tinsley needs.

Ramona tells Bethenny that she wishes she had a partner in life. Bethenny says she pretends everything is okay. In her interview, Bethenny says that she thinks Ramona not having anyone to take care of her is setting in, and she has compassion. Bethenny tells her that it will come. Ramona says she’s waiting for someone special.

Scott tells Tinsley she’s doing great. Sonja finds out her favorite vodka is in the cocktails, and I hope she feels really stupid. Missy asks Tom if he’s fine, and he says he gets choked up seeing her. Missy says ditto. He refers to the last time he saw her, which I believe is when she walked in on him and Luann while she was dating him. Some third party wants to hear his side of the story, and he removes his mic. Bad, bad Tom. Bethenny finds out that Frenchie’s last name is Vaudeville, and says it’s perfect for Sonja. Seriously. Bethenny thinks Tinsley has been passive aggressive with Sonja, and gets where she’s coming from. Sonja says that Tinsley plays damsel in distress, and likes to be the victim. In her interview, Bethenny says that she gives Sonja credit for not airing Tinsley’s dirty laundry. She thinks that Tinsley has to work her stuff out, and not drink vodka at 8 am. Luann’s son, Noel, shows up, and the ladies go crazy over him.

Tinsley says that she wants to give Sonja a present and a toast. Sonja says she doesn’t want a present or a toast, and I’m wishing someone would give her a swift kick already. Tinsley does it anyway. She says that Sonja reached out when she was at low point, and invited Tinsley into her home. She asks everyone to raise a glass to Sonja, and says she’s like a sister and a true friend. Sonja feels that the whole thing seemed fake up until now. She thinks that Tinsley does appreciate her, and wants to cry, since she came in “hot.” Tinsley gives Sonja a framed photo of the two of them. Luann laughs about the shot that Tinsley chose, since Tinsley is in the forefront, and the top of Sonja’s head is cut off. To make up for that, Tinsley also gives her a $5000 gift card for Bergdorf’s. All is forgiven.

It’s time to cut the cake, but Sonja just dives in, shoving some in her mouth. It’s the finale, and we’re told that Scott is moving to NYC to move in with Tinsley; Carole is training for he NYC marathon, despite her aversion to exercise; Bethenny – who says she got her smile and humor back – has taken the old apartment off the market, while waiting on the renovation of the new one; Dorinda – who just likes being Dorinda now – has allowed John to spend the night, but that’s it; Luann, well, we all know what happened; Ramona is cordial with Mario, and endured sharing their daughter’s graduation with him; Sonja went to France, and is still with Frenchie, but is also still keeping Rocco on the back burner.

Next time, part one of the reunion.

🍴 I missed some of MasterChef because I had to feed the dogs, but reigning champ, Shaun O’Neale, was a guest judge and also did some cooking. I didn’t see the first round of dishes, but Cate must have done well, since she was allowed to pick what kind of dish – sweet or savory – each cook would make with coconut. She basically tried to give each competitor what she thought they were weakest at. The cowboy dude (I forget his name) told Gordon he’d made a “deconstructed” something-or-other. Gordon said he was tired of the word deconstructed, and that it means covering up the mess. I agree. Like, who made that one up? Reba went home – her sweet dish was way too much sweet. Gordon praised her work ethic, and said they’d really miss her. She told everyone to keep their dreams alive, and that anything is possible, making everyone cry. She told us that she was going home to the best thing in the world – her family. I love a gracious exit. Next time, it’s the 50th anniversary of Caesar’s Palace, and even Gordon is nervous.

A Little Bit of Gordon in My Life



August 7, 2017 – Ava Ventures Out, Peggy’s Lamborghini Reveal, Oklahoma Finale & Upcoming Shows


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Ava downs a martini, and looks at herself in a hand mirror. There’s a knock at the door. She tells them to go away, but it’s Kiki. Ava tries to get her to leave, but she won’t. Ava opens the door, and says Kiki has done her good deed now, she can go, but Kiki says she’s not going anywhere.

Hayden calls Finn saying she’s up to her ears in paint swatches and fabric samples, but she’s really at the prison seeing her father.

Sam dreams about shooting Sonny. She tells herself it has to be a dream. Finn asks if she’s ready for good news, but he can tell there’s something wrong.

Sonny also dreams about Sam shooting him. Jason sees Carly in the hallway. She asks why he still looks worried and he says that Sam can’t shake her bad dreams. Dante joins them, and says he has to follow up with Sonny. Everyone goes into Sonny’s room. Sonny tells them that he’s doped up and can’t feel his leg. Dante asks who shot him. For a guy who just had surgery and is supposed to be resting, there’s quite a crowd in there.

Kiki brought pizza, but Ava says she’ll have the guy at the liquor store drop off dinner. Kiki suggests a therapy group that Andre recommended, but Ava says it’s not going to change her face. Kiki asks how she’s going to heal inside if she doesn’t talk about it? She realizes that everyone is dealing with their own pain right now and doesn’t want to cause Ava any more, but thinks it will be a help. Ava says beauty comes from within, but it doesn’t change people flinching when they look at her. Kiki says she can still live her life. Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it won’t be worthwhile; the group will make her feel better. Ava says another martini will make her feel better. Kiki tells Ava that if she wants to keep punishing herself, she won’t stop her, but when Ava leaves the room, Kiki calls Griff. She says it seems like he’s the only one who can get through to her mother, and asks if he can come by. He agrees.

Raymond Berlin comes into the visitor room. Hayden says that she didn’t think he’d agree to see her. He says he didn’t think she needed to see her old man behind bars. She says one minute she had a father, and the next, she didn’t. She compares it to how he must have felt when he found out that her mother was unfaithful. Raymond says he did what he always does when he’s disappointed – put up a wall. Hayden asks what changed? He tells her that he had time to think, and biology doesn’t change the time they had. It wasn’t all sunshine, but it wasn’t all bad. She’ll always be his daughter, and he’ll always be her dad. Hayden says that’s true. She has to ask him something, and needs him to be honest. She asks if there’s anything left from the hedge fund. He says she’s his daughter all right; she came for the money.

Sam tells Finn she feels fine, except for the dreams. He thinks that’s to be expected, and says that her white blood count is good, and the illness should be eradicated in a few days. He tells her that before she leaves, she’ll need a clean bill of health from Griff too. She asks if she’s still at risk mentally. This confuses me a little, since it’s not like Finn told her she has to see Andre before she leaves.

Sonny apologizes for being out of it. Carly says Dante can wait, but Sonny wants to continue and clear things up.

Ava asks if Kiki wants a drink or is she working tonight? Ava talks about how dedicated she is, but Kiki says nothing she can do will ever change what happened to Morgan. Ava says she’s proud of Kiki, but thinks she’s beyond Kiki’s capabilities. There’s another knock at the door, and Kiki says good thing she called in reinforcements then.

Ava tells Kiki that she had no right. Griff says she does, and realizes that Ava is overwhelmed, but says she can’t keep herself locked away. Ava asks what’s the alternative? If she’s going to open up to total strangers, there had be an open bar involved. Griff thinks she needs support, but Ava says that she has her brother. She tells Griff that thanks to the settlement, she never has to leave the apartment again, and it’s better for everyone. Griff says he almost bought it, but not quite. He says she’s afraid.

Hayden says that Raymond must have managed to hide something. He says sorry; there’s nothing left. Not one nickel. He says she sounds desperate, and she tells him that he has no idea. She explains about changing her name, and says she found a new life to go with it. Raymond says judging by the diamond on her finger, she pulled it off, so what’s wrong? She tells him about Finn, and how perfect he is. He loves her, wants to marry her, and they’re having a baby; she can’t lose him. Raymond asks why she would, and she says there’s a worm in the apple – Jared.

Finn tells Sam that she has a weakened resistance. She asks if the dreams that seem like memories are all in her head. He thinks that’s a question for Griff, but she wants help now. He tells her to let the meds work, and focus on recovery. When he’s gone, she takes her phone out. She sees a text from Molly about Sonny.

Dante asks Sonny if it wasn’t the Garveman who shot him, who else was there? Sonny tells him Garvey ambushed him, and he shot him in self-defense. Dante says Garvey had two bullet wounds, and asks if there was exchange of fire, and when did Garvey shoot him in the leg? Sonny says it was a blur, and the last thing he remembers is that Garvey shot him, and he shot back.

Ava tells Griff that of course she’s afraid. He would be too, if he looked like she does. She talks about children freaking out, and says the really good people go out of their way to smile, but she knows they only feel pity. She says sorry, but when you have no soul there’s nothing to say. Griff asks if she remembers their conversation at The Floating Rib. She says it was a lifetime ago. He tells her that she’d asked if there was any unforgivable sin, and that it’s despair, and denying everything God has given to you. He asks what’s worse, a few strangers turning from her, or her turning her back on God and all creation?

Hayden tells her father that Jared has given her a week. She says she’s the CFO of GH, and he wants her to pay him by siphoning off money. Raymond says she should be able to do that and wonders if she wants some tips. She tells him that she’d be stealing the money that Finn donated. She explains how Finn discovered a cure for Blackwood Syndrome, and that he could be a wealthy man, but gave the licensing fee to the hospital. She’d be betraying both him and the hospital that gave both of them a shot at redemption. A cuckoo clock sound goes off. It’s Hayden’s phone. Jared has sent a GIF of himself pointing to his watch.

Sonny tells Dante that he remembers getting the picture of Spencer from Garveytrain. Carly thinks Sonny should rest, and tries to hustle everyone out. Sonny asks how Sam is, and Carly wonders how he knows she’s been sick. He claims he heard them talking, and Jason tells him that she’s better, but still dealing with hallucinations. Sonny wants a minute alone with Jason.

Sam is trying to get out of bed, when Felix walks in and says, hey. She wants to find Jason. Felix says he’s been there 24/7 and has actually become a nuisance, so he’ll be back. He tells her right now she needs rest. She asks if Sonny has been shot, and Felix says just in the leg and they expect a full recovery, so not to worry. She says she won’t, and Felix leaves.

Ava goes to the hospital, but doesn’t want Kiki and Griff to act like it’s her first day of school. She starts to head toward the meeting room, and Sam sees her. Ava goes around the corner, and Sam follows.

Felix needs everyone to clear out of Sonny’s room, or Epiphany will call for back-up. Carly asks Dante to give Sonny some time to recover. She’s sure that once he’s not drugged up, he’ll be glad to answer questions. Dante is skeptical about that, but leaves. Jason comes out, and Carly asks what Sonny wanted.

Raymond tells Hayden that she could call Jared’s bluff, but she says he has nothing to lose and everything to gain. She says the worst part is that she brought it on herself. She did something wrong, and tried to cover it up – she really is his daughter. Raymond says that she seems genuinely remorseful and she says she wanted to make up for it, but if she’s exposed, she doesn’t see how that’s possible. Raymond tells her that she has two choices, buy Jared’s silence, or go to Finn, come clean, and hope he forgives her. Their time is up. Raymond says sorry it was so brief and so long in coming. No matter what, he hopes she’s happy. He made a mistake in looking for what he wanted in life, but she’s smart, and he knows she’ll succeed. She thinks he might be right.

Ava goes to the group, but no one is there yet. Sam startles her, and she says it’s usually the other way around lately. She tells Sam that she’d helped her find her mask, and Sam is glad that she didn’t imagine it. Ava says that Sam didn’t even flinch when she saw her, and she wasn’t expecting that. She’s surprised to see Sam up and around. Sam tells Ava that she’s feeling better, and Ava is glad to hear it, saying Sam wasn’t herself. Sam asks how, and Ava tells her that she blamed everything on Sonny, and said he was going to get what’s coming to him. She’d never heard her say anything against him before, but it sounded like he was her worst enemy.

Felix asks Sonny if he’s feeling any discomfort, but Sonny says he’s so doped up, he can’t even feel his leg. Felix tells him that Epiphany can’t wait to get him into physical therapy again, but it might be easier if he avoids getting shot in the first place. Maybe he can handle the wear and tear, but his family is another story.

Carly wonders about Sonny’s other enemies. She’s concerned that Sonny doesn’t remember that Jason has bowed out. Jason says he’ll get involved if he has to, and that he thinks Sonny is safe. He tells Carly to look after Sonny, and he’ll look after Sam, and it will all work out.

Sam asks Ava what it was she said exactly, and Ava tells her that it sounded like she hated Sonny. Sam says she doesn’t hate Sonny, and Ava says of course. They’re all part of a united front; all for one, and one for all, but perhaps it was her subconscious speaking. Maybe deep down she doesn’t like what Sonny does, and wants Jason to get out. Sam says that Ava doesn’t know anything about what she wants, and toddles off. Ava is like, wow.

Finn comes to Hayden’s office, where she’ looking over the hospital books on her laptop. He asks where the shopping bags are.

Jason asks Griff if Sam did something while she was sick that she wouldn’t normally do, if it could happen again once the infection is gone. Griff says they can run more tests, and weigh the options. Well, that was vague.

Ava starts to leave, and Kiki pops out of nowhere, asking if she’s going somewhere. She says that she thought she was ready, but she’s never going to be. Griff joins them, and asks how she’ll know that if she doesn’t try. Ava says the two of them won’t quit, and Kiki says she’s learning. Ava tells them that the first time she’s told to get in touch with her feelings, she’s leaving.

Hayden tells Finn that she thought they should make the decorating decisions together. So instead, she was looking through some vacation websites, and got two plane tickets to someplace far away.

Sonny asks if Felix has any more words of wisdom. Felix tells him it’s taking a toll on Carly, as well as his family and friends. He appreciates Felix speaking up. Felix turns the lights out, and Sonny slips into dreamland.

Calry thanks Felix for looking out for Sonny. Felix says he has to turn in Sonny’s clothing to the police, and wonders if he’ll want them back. Carly says they’re trashed anyway, so just burn them. Felix doesn’t blame her for not wanting any reminders, especially now that it’s over.

Jason finds Sam’s room empty.

Sonny dreams about Sam again. He opens his eyes, and she’s standing next to his bed. He asks what she’s doing there, and she says he’s still alive.

Tomorrow, Jared meets Finn, Olivia doesn’t think she can be part of the family, and Carly wants to know how the bullet casing was found.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Tamra and Shannon meet Meghan for lunch. Meghan has brought along baby Aspen, and introduces her cousin Bridget, who doesn’t stay and I don’t blame her. Shannon orders a drink, and Tamra says alcohol is your enemy when you’re trying to lose weight. Unless you’re an alcoholic and that’s all you consume. Meghan says thank God she has Bridget, since she’s overwhelmed. Shannon tells everyone for the thousandth time that she’s gained forty pounds and it’s Vicki’s fault. In her interview, Meghan says it was bad, but not forty pounds bad. Clearly there’s something else going on, like with her marriage.

Lydia and family are in Hawaii. She and Doug have been working hard on the magazine, and she thinks it’s important to have downtime. Because the kids have brought up the term “sexy lady,” thinking it means kissing a lady when you’re naked, Lydia thinks daddy should explain. Doug asks if they’ve heard the word “sex,” and if they know what it is. He tells them it’s something God created, and you do it in private. One of the boys tells him to move on with it (ha-ha – out of the mouths of babes), and Lydia says her mom explained nothing, and didn’t even buy her a bra. Doug explains that it’s something you do when you’re married, and in her interview, Lydia says they were both virgins when they got married and… well, you don’t need to know how great their love life is. God bless ‘em. They both seem like sweet people. Rare on a Housewife show.

Peggy tells son Koko that if she says no and dad says it’s okay, which is the right choice? That would be her. Smart kid. She’s cooking dinner, and tells us Armenian cooking is love, but she wants a chef. Gianelle has gotten into FIT (I think she said FIT, but definitely a fashion school in NYC), and Diko tells her he’s not paying for a penthouse. Peggy thinks they should celebrate, but he says it will have to wait until next weekend, since they’re getting a custom-designed Lamborghini this weekend. Tamra calls to announce Shannon is in the bathroom. Shannon apologizes for being reactive at the restaurant, but Peggy says she doesn’t owe her an apology. She invites them to the Lamborghini event. Shannon says if Vicki and Kelly are going to be there, she can’t come, because we’re in middle school. Peggy tries to say something, but Shannon steamrolls over her. In her interview, Peggy says that Vicki is her friend, and she doesn’t want to get in the middle. She says it was an a and b conversation and she c’d herself out of it. Diko is like omg.

Kelly drags her mom to the senior center to see director Celeste. She says her mom’s social life in Arizona was amazing, but now she just sits around. Celeste shows them the kilns and potter’s wheel, and I think of that scene in Ghost, but with old people. Kelly says the last relationship her mother had was with her father in 2002, and even if she doesn’t find love, she could use some companionship. Kelly tells Celeste that her mom is 68, but acts 100. Her mother says she doesn’t tell Kelly what to do, and they debate that. She feels like Kelly won’t let her relax. Kelly calls her frustrating, and her mom says she’s there; what more does Kelly want? In her interview, Kelly says she literally married her mother, since Michael doesn’t like to do anything either. Kelly pays dues for a year. Like her mom is going to go and play ping pong with a couple of codgers.

Vicki is getting stuff delivered for the office. She says everything she’s doing, is so she can sit back and hand Michael the baton. Some of her awards got broken in the move, and I feel for her. She says this office is the model for the franchise. She says she wants her family to reap the benefits of her hard work, and if Michael marries his girlfriend, he needs to do a prenup. In her interview, she says whatever the nup is, she’s nupping everything. She asks if they’re using birth control, and Michael says they don’t want kids right now. Geez, it’s not like he’s a kid.

Kelly thinks that she and Shannon could be friends, and that Tamra is the wedge between them. She believes she has a way, and doesn’t want to be an outcast like last year. She calls Tamra, who makes a face when she sees who it is, but tells her she’s unblocked. She asks if Tamra would like to have coffee. We see a clip of her mom advising her to go through Tamra first. Tamra says she never wanted to fight with Kelly, and has always been supportive, but it got weird. Kelly says she doesn’t want to go in a negative direction. Tamra is up for that, but immediately calls Shannon to tell her that Kelly called. She tells Shannon about Kelly not wanting negativity. Shannon goes blah-blah-blah, and brings up things Tamra doesn’t need to remember. In her interview, Shannon thinks maybe it’s best Kelly should meet with Tamra without plates flying in the air.

Meanwhile back in Hawaii, I cry because I wish I was there. Doug and Lydia have dinner. She wants to talk about how they should use their downtime. She thinks he should get a vasectomy, and a coconut falls. Please tell me that was editing. In her interview, Lydia says she doesn’t have time now with the kids she has. Lydia tells Doug she’s done, and asks if he is. She says he can put some sperm in the freezer in case something happens to her, and he meets some beautiful blonde. He grew up in a big family, and she understands why he’s hesitant. She says he’ll be her gelding, and he says he’ll think on that. First of all, it’s an in-office operation that’s a fairly quick procedure. It’s not like spaying a dog. And it’s also reversible. I used to work in a women’s clinic that also did vasectomies, but I can literally count on one hand how many we had in the two years I was there. Come on, guys, step up.

I have to admit, Aspen is a cutie. Meghan and Bridget go over some soap ideas. Jimmy and Meghan opened a candle store, and now that Aspen is here, she wonders what she got herself into. She says whoever said there’s a work/life balance didn’t know what they were talking about, because there is none. She was hoping Jimmy would stay home more after the baby was born, but he’s working more than ever. Jimmy comes in and fawns over the baby. Megan thinks one day he’ll come home and Aspen won’t know who he is.

Kelly thanks Tamra for meeting with her. She thinks if she can patch things up with Tamra, Shannon will follow. I dunno about that. Shannon can really hold a grudge. Kelly wants to out puppet the puppet master. In her interview, Tamra says as much as she doesn’t like Kelly, she feels sorry for her. Tamra tells Kelly that she doesn’t want to fight, but when pushed in a corner, her claws come out. We flash back to the apology after Ireland, and she says after that, all hell broke loose on social media. Kelly says it’s hard to control herself when things get heated, and Tamra wonders how they go forward. She tells Kelly that Shannon wasn’t pleased with herself and the way she reacted at the restaurant. In her interview, Tamra says Kelly is a lot like her; impulsive, but they get over things quickly. She apologizes for anything she engaged in, and Kelly just wants everyone to get along. Tamra asks what else Kelly has for her, and is probably sorry she asked when Kelly tells her about the vaginal rejuvenation. I’ll just leave the rest of that discussion alone, since we don’t need to revisit that.

Diko and Peggy get ready for the Lamborghini event. Ooh! One of the daughters has a long lace overdress (with an LBD underneath) that’s gorgeous. They all look amazing, but that style is a particular favorite of mine. Doug and Lydia join them at the event. Lydia says she doesn’t care about the car, but look at Peggy’s handbag! Lydia talks to Peggy about not wanting any more kids. In her interview, she wonders if they actually remove… oh, never mind. I’m finding it hard to believe adults don’t know how a vasectomy is done. Meghan and Jimmy arrive, sans baby, and Vicki and Steve follow. Apparently, there’s no grudge on Meghan’s part. In her interview, VIcki says Meghan looks like she just stepped off a runway, not like she just had a baby. There’s a drumroll, and Peggy reveals the new car. It’s taxi yellow. No. Just no. Doug asks Jimmy about being a new dad. He says it’s not exactly new to him, since he has a couple of grown children from another marriage.

Meghan talks about the Ireland trip, and discusses her genealogy research there. She says it was a fun trip until it wasn’t. Vicki says there’s no point in talking about it. Meghan is having a sip and see party, and invites the girls. Lydia is hesitant because Shannon and Tamra will be there.

Tamra and Eddie visit Shannon and David, since they’re not attending the Lamborghini thing. Tamra tells Shannon that Kelly has remorse and wants to meet with her. She thinks it should be before Meghan’s party, and she’s willing to go along. Shannon says the last time she and Kelly got together alone, it wasn’t good. Tamra tells her Vicki will be at Meghan’s party, and they can keep each other in check from the ones that make them see red.

Back at the car show, Lydia says she wasn’t mentally prepared for the restaurant debacle. Meghan starts talking about how Vicki hurt Shannon, and Vicki says they’ve all hurt each other. She explains to Peggy that there are unresolved issues among the ladies. Meghan thinks that Vicki should try to understand, and says that when they were in Ireland, they were getting along. Vicki says that she can’t be the only one to apologize, but Megan tells her that swallowing your pride can make you feel good, and that you can’t expect anything back from an apology. Peggy asks if Vicki has apologized, and Vicki tells her she has, many times. We flash back to those, and Vicki says she’s good. Peggy tells Meghan that the more you talk about something, the bigger it gets. Kind of what Erika from Beverly Hills said about Pantygate. Peggy tells Meghan to make duck lips, then puts her fingers like she’s holding them closed. She tells Meghan that she’s making everyone uncomfortable, and to zip it. Ha-ha! That stopped her running mouth. Meghan wonders what she’s missing, and why she has to be quiet. In her interview, Vicki says Peggy nailed it. Shut up, Megan. She’s over it.

Next time, Tamra asks Shannon if they should be fake, Vicki tells Peggy there are issues, Lydia is concerned about Shannon misbehaving at her party, and Kelly meets with Shannon.

🐮 It was the season finale for Sweet Home Oklahoma (sob!). Pumps got her new house, and for someone who couldn’t afford a house in the next neighborhood over, it’s big and beautiful. Jennifer picked out tiles for a decorating project, and called Lee a magnet to the bun when Josh got her to goof around, taking Instagram photos. Lee said she didn’t have high hopes for Jennifer’s Instagram with Josh being in charge of it, but his pictures ended up being fabulous. Josh has decided to keep the photography a hobby though, and go back to practicing law. Lee and Jennifer agreed they’ll miss Pumps because they like knowing where she is at all times. Jennifer thought they were going to need an army of movers, and a psychiatrist to find out why Pumps is hoarding. Lee claimed a dead person could be in the walk-in closet and they’d never know, and I had to agree. It was like an explosion of clothing, accessories, and random items in there. Pumps said they were acting like she’s going to Siberia, when she’s only moving five miles away. Tubby fell through the attic floor at Pumps’s new house, and in true dog fashion, freaked out everyone except for himself. In their interview, Jennifer joked that Pumps was trying to murder Tubby, and Pumps said it took a long time, but she finally did it. She’d planned it all out from orchestrating her divorce to buying the new house. Pumps told us the move was bittersweet, it wasn’t just leaving the neighborhood, but leaving the idea of the perfect family life, but she’s ready to make new memories. To assuage the grief of losing Pumps, Jennifer left her a housewarming gift – a topiary shaped like Tubbers, with its own service dog vest – a “tubiary.” I literally LOL’d – it really did look like him. Pumps’s dog promptly peed on it. I sincerely hope this show is renewed for another season. It’s heartwarming without being saccharine, and very funny.

🔊 Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce is back on Thursday, August 17th at 10 pm; The Real Housewives of Dallas begins a new season on Monday, August 14th at 10 pm (looks like LeeAnn is back to breaking glasses already); and the Stud of the Sea, Captain Lee, returns with Below Deck on Tuesday, September 5th at 9 pm.


August 4, 2017 – Sam Wonders What’s Real, AMC Breaks Some Bad, Predictable Countess News & Quotes


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Ava tells Valentin that only two people in this world saw the good in her and could have loved her. She killed one, and he killed the other. Valentin tells her about how he hid from the world, but decided a life of hiding was no life at all. She says maybe she deserves it; she’s paying for what she did. She asks him to give her a good reason why he shouldn’t pay for what he did. He says he’s going to give her an offer she can’t refuse. Ava says if she heard those words from someone else, she’d dismiss them as empty, but she knows coming from him, it’s serious. He tells her that if she withdraws her statement, she can have her old life back, starting with her beautiful face.

Laura tells Spencer that they need to have a serious talk at home; this has to come to a stop. He’s worried that she’s referring to the lawsuit, but she tells him that she’s talking about his life in Port Charles. He suggests that they talk right there, and she says he can’t stay. Spencer says that he’ll go to public school, and promises to make up with Charlotte. He tells Laura that he’ll bring culture to his new place of education. Laura says that’s not what she’s talking about.

The Garvster tells Jason that he has to ask “her” about Sonny. Jason wonders who “her” is, but Garvey flatlines. Jason tries to get him to talk, but that’s not happening.

At the demolition site, Sonny tells Carly to go. She says if he wants her to live, he’ll get moving, and they start to walk, but Sonny isn’t exactly swift on his feet.

Sam dreams about all the times she saw Sonny in her head, culminating with her shooting him at the distillery. She wakes up, and Deanna asks if she had a bad dream, but Sam doesn’t know if it was a dream or not.

Sonny and Carly lie on the ground, surrounded by rubble. An announcement says that stage two of the demolition is coming. Carly tells Sonny to wake up.

Spencer tells Laura that his father’s spirit is all around Port Charles. Kelly’s is where Nikolas taught him to be brave and fight for what’s right, and he’s never going to stop fighting Valentin. Laura tells him that he’s going back to France.

Ava asks Valentin if he has a magic wand. He says no, but knows where she can get a cutting edge procedure. She says that she’s already been told nothing can be done, and she’ll look like this for the rest of her life. Valentin says he isn’t talking about traditional treatment, but the procedures that transformed him.

The doctors say they’re losing Big Garve.

The countdown for stage two of the demolition begins. Carly yells that someone is there, but no one hears her. She tries to get Sonny to stand, but he’s pinned down. As the countdown continues, he tells her to just leave. Dante runs up to the project manager, and tells him to stop. He has reason to believe someone is on site. Carly is moving debris off of Sonny. She asks if he can move, and for a guy who’s been shot and has been living in a filthy basement for 24-hours or more, he pulls himself up pretty well. Over the loudspeaker, the PM says they’re looking for someone on site. Carly kisses Sonny, because now is totally the time for that.

See you on the flipside, Garvey.

Carly tells Sonny to wait, and he says he’s not going anywhere. Dante runs up to them, and Carly tells him that Sonny is hurt. Dante lets Sonny know that Spencer is okay, and Sonny tells him about getting the text picture of Spencer in the basement.

Deanna tells Sam that some medications can cause nightmares, and she’ll see about getting Griff to prescribe something else. Jason walks in, and Deanna tells him that Sam’s vitals good. Sam says that sometimes she can’t think straight. She feels like she’s remembering things that happened that couldn’t have. Jason says that makes sense, considering, but she tells him that she’s confused, and asks how she can tell the difference between what she imagines and what happened? Jason tells her to just focus on getting better, but she feels like there’s something wrong. He says the kids are fine, and he’s fine. Sam asks about Sonny.

Laura says that when Spencer came back to Port Charles, Valentin was in custody, and they thought he was going to prison forever, but that didn’t work out. Spencer calls it a miscarriage of justice that must be righted. Laura says yes, but not by him. He falsely accused Valentin of kidnapping him, and snuck into Windemere when he was supposed to be at camp. Spencer begs her not to send him away, and asks if she doesn’t love him anymore.

Ava asks why Valentin would need a miracle – did Sonny leave him to burn in a warehouse fire too? Valentin explains about having scoliosis and a hunchback, along with a deformed face, saying he was the stuff of children’s nightmares. He was introduced to a group of geniuses, and when they were done, he had a life he never dreamed of. She asks why she should believe him. He tells her their methods aren’t proven, but sound, and he’s a living testimony. Ava points out that it’s just his say-so, and he asks to use her laptop. He logs into his old WSB profile (man, they are a sloppy bureau), and shows her a picture of himself as he used to look.

Dante tells Carly that the doctors are optimistic about Sonny. Carly says that he kept telling her to leave, and that Dante saved them both. Dante says that he raced over as soon as he got a call from Michael about the bullet casing. Carly says the Garvinator shot Sonny and left him to die.

Sam asks if Jason has talked to Sonny. Her dreams seem to be about them threatening each other. She can’t remember exactly, but she was desperate and angry. She says that she would never hurt him, would she? Jason tells her that she’s been through a lot, and her mind is just trying to make sense of what’s happening with her body. He tells her to focus on what’s real – them. It’s going to take time. She says it was about keeping them safe, and asks how she’s been acting. Jason admits she’s been overprotective, but says that’s the illness. Sam asks if she threatened people, and Jason says no; she just seemed concerned for his safety. Sam says it was about Sonny.

Griff tells Carly that the bullet was extracted, and there were no complications. Sonny has lost a lot of blood (not the first time), but once his fluids are replenished, a full recovery is expected. He might be groggy, but asked for her. Fastest. Surgery. Ever. Carly goes into Sonny’s room, and he asks if she’s okay. She tells him that she’s fine, and he’s going to be fine too. He made it. He says of course. She says that she was scared that she lost him; he’d been missing for hours, but she found him. She’ll never give up on him. Sonny tells her that they’re a team. He says that she should have left, but she says it’s over and it’s fine. She just got him back, and wasn’t risking her life without him. She tells him to just say thank you, and says that he’s too doped up to make sense. Dante joins them. He tells Sonny they know that the Big Garvbowsky lured him out and shot him twice, but asks if Sonny can take him through what happened.

Sam tells Jason that she thought Sonny wanted him to work in the business again, and wanted to take him away, but that doesn’t sound right. She wouldn’t have to protect him from Sonny, but thought she did. He tells her stop stressing, but she hates feeling like this. He tells her rest up, so she can get her strength back and come home. The kids love and need her, and so does he.

Ava asks if that’s really Valentin, and then says she can almost see who he is now in the picture. Valentin says he doesn’t; he was born handicapped, and had to make compromises to get what he needed. He’s not a saint or a sinner, but both. Ava says Nikolas’s death wasn’t a small thing, and she’s surprised at him, since he’s a father. Valentin says the charges have been dropped, but Spencer is being encouraged. Ava wonders if he’s afraid that Spencer is going to win. Valentin says no, but unpleasantries on both sides are going to come up. Spencer might be brat, but doesn’t deserve to hear about his father’s bad side. His main concern is Charlotte though, and he wants it to go away.

Laura says that she loves Spencer with all her heart. He says he wants to stay, and she tells him that she does too, but more than that, she wants him safe. Valentin is a dangerous man, and she and Doc saw it firsthand. She asks what if he had lost his temper when he found Spencer at Windemere? What if he hurt him, or worse, and escaped justice? Spencer would be gone, and he’s all she has left of his father. She can’t bear to lose him. Spencer pleads with her not to send him away. Doc says it’s a difficult decision for all of them. They love having him there – he makes them laugh, and think, and challenges them – but they have to act in his best interest. At his age, he thinks there won’t be consequences and that he’s immortal, but he’s not. Valentin is an ongoing threat, and it scares them, even if it doesn’t scare him. Spencer says being all alone scares him. Nice acting. Spencer doesn’t often get to emote that way. What’s kind of funny though, is that Valentin hasn’t threatened anyone the entire time he’s been in Port Charles. He’s the one who’s been threatened by everyone else, including this kid. IMO, he has the patience of a saint.

Valentin tells Ava that Spencer is fortunate; he knows that he’s loved and wanted. Ava says she stole that from him; she saw him shoot Nikolas. Valentin says that didn’t happen. He tells her that she’s far from the path of overcoming her circumstance. What good is she, and what is she doing for the world? She has to take stock of herself. She says that she’s not a good person, and has inflicted pain on people. She wants to hold on to the one thread of decency she has, and wants to prove she’s not as ugly on the inside as she is on the outside. Even if she believed him about his geniuses, she’s not changing her testimony. She remembers and knows what happened. Nikolas defended her, and Valentin murdered him. Nikolas was a father too, and Spencer deserves to know that the world isn’t as unfair as it Valentin would have him believe.

Laura says that Spencer isn’t alone, and he says that he’s an orphan. Doc says that he has his grandmother, the rest of his family, and him. Laura says even if he’s not there physically, he’s always in her heart. She wants to protect him, not get rid of him. Spencer tells them that if he’s gone, how will he keep an eye on Valentin? Laura says that’s not his responsibility. Spencer whines that he won’t get to sue him. It pales in comparison to sending him to prison, but it’s the next best thing he can do. Doc says that he should honor his father’s memory by being the fantastic kid that he is. Laura wants to honor Nikolas by keeping him safe, and tells him that his father would want him to have a long and happy life. Spencer says he’ll go to France, and they’ll both honor his father. He hugs Laura.

Jason tells Sam to concentrate on the here and now, and what’s real; she’s improving. Sam says what about her mind, and Jason says that she’s exhausted and needs to rest. He tells her to dream of coming home, and how happy they’ll be. All of this will be over soon.

Sonny starts fading into sleep. Dante tells him that he called Michael, and to just take it easy for now. Sonny thanks him, and asks about Avery. Carly says that she’s fine, and misses him. She tells him to get some rest, so she can take him home. They do the I love you thing.

In the hallway, Jason and Carly hug. Carly tells him that Garvo shot Sonny and left him for dead, but he’s going to be okay. She asks about Sam, and Jason says she’s doing well. The antibiotics are working, but she’s confused, and doesn’t know what’s real or not.

Sam dreams about being at the distillery again, holding the gun on Sonny. She’s telling him that she’s not letting her kids end up like Morgan, and that he pulls death and destruction toward him. She shoots.

Ava tells Valentin to leave. He says it’s her call, but she should think about it. He knows enough to know that she’ll want her old life back, and they can fix it. She says that nothing will be better than telling truth for Nikolas and Spencer. Valentin tells her to think about it. As she closes the door, I take note of the awesome blue, ombre tie-dyed robe she’s wearing. She takes her mask off.

Laura tells Spencer that the fall semester starts soon, but she wants to bring him early, since he’ll be in an accelerated program. Spencer is happy that she’s coming with him, and she says she’ll be staying for a few weeks to settle him in. It will make it easier on both of them; she has to get used to not having him around. He asks if she isn’t going to miss Doc, and says he will too. Doc says he’s coming along, and Laura hugs him. Spencer says group hug, and they do. Must be nice to just be able to take off for France. They did the same thing on Million Dollar Listing NY last night.

Ava has a martini. She takes the drape off the mirror, and looks at herself. She says, oh God, oh God, oh God.

Sam keeps dreaming. Sonny is asking Sam to let him help her, and promising it will be fine. She doesn’t want to do something she’ll take back.

Sonny asks how much Jason knows. Dante pops back in and says he just found out that Ole Garve is dead. Carly says she can’t say she’s sorry, since he kidnapped Spencer and shot Sonny. Sonny says Garvey didn’t shoot him.

Sam dreams about Sonny saying that he understands she’s going through something. She’s like family to him. He puts his hand over hers on the gun, and lowers it. The gun goes off, shooting him in the leg. He says he knows it wasn’t her and she didn’t mean to do this. She says that she did, and gives him a swift kick into the opening to the cask room. She wakes up and says, no!

On Monday, Kiki isn’t going anywhere, Hayden talks to her father, and Dante asks Sonny who shot him.

⚛ I’m caught up with Zoo, although I missed an episode somewhere. At present, my obsession with 90 Day Fiancé – Happily Ever After? is satiated, but I’m still lagging behind with Preacher and The f Word. I’m also up-to-date, for at least the third time, with Breaking Bad. If you haven’t seen this show, you need to, but only if you like intelligent TV. If you’ve seen it before, watch it fresh on Sundays when AMC is running a marathon. Why? Who knows. What difference does it make? For the uninitiated, in a nutshell, the plot revolves around a chemistry teacher who has decided to dabble in making crystal meth when he gets a cancer diagnosis. A guy’s got to provide for his family, and sadly, a drug dealer makes more than a sick teacher. Probably more than any teacher. Along with a former student, Walter White breaks bad all over the place, while we get to enjoy top-notch acting, writing, and all of those departments that get awards that aren’t televised. Bryan Cranston stars, and having also been in one of the few sitcoms I like (he was the father on Malcolm in the Middle), it’s a real treat to see him playing Walter, juggling home and work life. It can get pretty violent, so it’s not for kids, but I was raised by a sailor and grew up on war movies, B horror films, and musicals, so if you’re a parent, it’s your call. They’re up to season four, but there’s always On Demand.

♛ Did you hear? Luann de Lesseps D’Agostino, of The Real Housewives of New York de Lesseps D’Agostinos, is getting unmarried soon. So, how many people called this? Put your hands down; I can’t count that high. She was recently on Watch What Happens Live, explaining that the slap she gave Tom while they were dining out was merely a love tap, and a symptom of the passionate love affair they were having. Funny too, they just wrapped up the reunion. Methinks Luann was wise from the jump, but went through with it to save face, and timed the ending so it wouldn’t be aired or discussed during the reunion. No doubt there will be I told you so’s next season, but there will also be some distance.

Quotes of the Week

There is no such thing as perfection. What I consider beautiful, most likely you don’t.Mila Kunis (Funny, since I’m watching Bad Moms right now, and I chose this randomly. Twilight Zone music…)

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.Dolly Parton

I’m still hung over from the 80s. – someone on Growing Up Supermodel

🌬 And of course, the greatest Housewife quote of all…


Countess, we salute you.

August 2 – Sam Wakes Up, the Mexico Trip Winds Down & Brien is Sunk by a Cannoli


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Calling from Nelle’s place, Michael wants Sonny’s people searching along the river front. Nelle asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s climbing the walls. She asks if there’s news, but he says nothing since Dante updated them. He doesn’t think his dad is dead, but maybe hurt or trapped, and the longer it takes to find him the worse it will get.

Jason talks to an unconscious Sam about Danny feeling Scout kick, and thinking it was a magic trick. He talks about when they brought Scout home. He told Scouthow lucky she is to have Sam as a mother because she’s tough. He asks her not to make a liar out of him.

Josslyn opens the front door, and Oscar falls over on the porch.

Tracy has sent Finn something for Hayden. It looks like a Tiffany bag, and he says something about gemology, so I assume it’s a ring. Hayden shows up at the hospital since she missed him. She asks if he wants breakfast, but he says he has something to do first. Deanna tells him that he has a patient waiting, and Hayden has someone waiting with an invoice question.

Except it’s Jared. She asks what he’s doing there. He asks if she can fix his broken heart. Please. Where’s Danny Trejo with some latte?

Josslyn tells Oscar that she was getting the newspaper and didn’t mean to scare him. He apologizes for creeping up like a stalker. Josslyn says that Carly gave her stamp of approval, and Oscar insists that’s because of the tie. It always works with parents. She tells him he can use the doorbell, but he says that he didn’t want to intrude; he was just going to leave something for her. She says it’s less bad with him there.

Nelle gives Michael some coffee. He says he’s freaking out. She says he has an instinctive need to handle every situation. He tells her that he became a compulsive fixer as a child, holding everything together. Nelle says she’ll take a personal day and help him look for his dad. He’s her priority today.

Jared tells Hayden that they have business, and Hayden asks if they have to do it at her place of business. She says that she never asked him to cover for her, and he says that she didn’t exactly say no. They have a bond that goes past marriage. She can deal with him, or he deals with Finn. She asks for a half hour, but she doesn’t want him waiting there. She reminds him that if Finn finds out, he loses his leverage. He says he knows the perfect spot.

Finn asks what Griff thinks of the ring. Griff doesn’t know the 4 C’s, but says it’s got them all. Deanna says that Hayden will love it. Hayden walks up behind Finn, asking love what? and everyone disappears. She asks why they took off so fast, and what is Finn hiding behind his back? He didn’t realize he was doing this right now, but shows her the ring, saying that he wants to make it proper.

Jason talks to Danny on the phone. He says Sam misses him, but is doing okay, and needs more time to rest. He asks Danny to be good for his grandma, and tells him that he loves him. Sam opens her eyes.

Josslyn tells Oscar that Carly is out looking for Sonny. Oscar says they can go search if she wants, but Josslyn wouldn’t know where to start. She asks to talk about something else. He thought maybe it was bothering her, but she says it’s okay. She tells him that she’s not sure when she found out that Sonny was a mobster. He was just Uncle Sonny, who her mother was married to once, and gradually she figured it out. For a while she thought it was cool to be close to someone so powerful, but she was stupid not to see the other side of it. The guards were there to protect them, but sometimes they can’t. This time, they weren’t there to protect Sonny. She’s been furious at Sonny, but her mom loves him, and Josslyn has known him her whole life. She doesn’t want anything to happen to him.

Deanna tells Sam to breath slowly and deeply. Sam asks what happened, and Jason tells her that she collapsed in the penthouse, but she’s not sure she remembers. Deanna leaves to get the doctors. Jason says everything is going to be okay.

Finn thinks that Hayden doesn’t like the ring, and tells her that Tracy picked it out. Hayden is impressed that Tracy a diamond delivered to him before breakfast. He tells her a story about a guy owing Tracy a favor. When she asks what he did, Finn says the point of blackmail is not to disclose the actions that caused it to happen. She says he already gave her a ring, and he asks if she wants to keep the onion ring. She hugs him, and by the elevator behind him, Jared points to his watch. Hayden tells Finn that she’s going to get it sized right now, and they kiss.

Michael thanks Nelle for letting him crash there. She says as far as personal debt goes, he’s way ahead. She says that if she doesn’t have to help someone, she dwells on the past. Everything is going right, and she gets nervous; she has a phobia about being happy. He says he’ll do everything he can to change that.

Hayden finds Jared at the house. I just don’t see these two together, even in her old life. For one thing, he seems too old. Not necessarily in age, but the way he presents himself. Maybe she was marrying her father. Jared asks if she made an offer on the house. He says if she didn’t, she can still back out, and he starts telling her about mold on the tennis court. She tells him to save the act and cut to the chase. He says they don’t have to be at each other’s throats. If it were up to him – she says what? They’d still be married? She tells him that he spent more time in other women’s beds than their own, and now he’s blackmailing her. There’s no future. She asks how he wants to resolve it, and he says the only way to get rid of him is to make restitution.

Josslyn tells Oscar that she’s been smack talking Sonny, and now she’s concerned about him. Oscar must think she’s nuts. Oscar says it makes her human. People are more than one thing, and he thinks she sees Sonny more clearly than the people who think he’s either all good or all bad. Josslyn says most people believe he’s either a total criminal, or he’s misunderstood, but the truth is, he’s a little of both. He can be kind and generous, or awful, like what he did to her father. Oscar calls her perceptive, and she says not always – she was a brat about Sonny. He doesn’t think she’s a brat, and he gives her a necklace that he made from the bullet casing. Or as he says, the piece of metal they found. I find it hard to believe that with all the history he knows about, Oscar wouldn’t know what it is.

Finn says that Sam is on the on road to recovery. She asks what happened, and Griff asks what’s the last thing she remembers? She says she was at home with Jason, Sonny came over, and she left. She feels like she’s been dreaming. Griff says that’s common for people with this illness. Finn explains what she has, and that Scout is okay. He tells her about the treatment, and knows it sounds scary, but she’s out of the woods.

In the hallway, Jason thanks Finn and Griff. He says he owes them, but they both say it’s just their job. Finn leaves, and Jason asks Griff about Sam’s memory. He tells Jason to give it time. She’ll probably remember, but don’t push it.

Josslyn tells Oscar that the necklace is perfect. Oscar says his stuff isn’t for everyone, but I’m thinking he could make a bundle at flea markets. He says she doesn’t have to wear it, but she wants to. He puts it on her, and says it looks amazing.

Hayden says she knows that Jared wants money, but he says he wants redress. He sacrificed his time and good name. Hayden tells him that he can’t sacrifice something never had, and he tells her that a little appreciation might buy her some good will. She says she does appreciate it, and is willing to do what she can. She tells him that she can get him an interview at ELQ. They’ll listen to her, and he’ll be in the inner circle. He says he’s not looking for a job, but a payout, and she says it will be better in the long term. Jared doubts they’d hire someone with his record, but she’ll find out what that’s like when he exposes her. He wants money, but Hayden says that she doesn’t have it. She wishes she could honor promise, but has nothing to give. He grabs her hand, and says she’s got that, meaning her ring.

Jason updates Alexis on the phone. Sam tries to get out of bed. She wants to stretch, and Deanna says once around the floor. Jason helps her, and she asks him to fill her in.

Finn talks to his dead wife, Reiko, while he looks at a letter from her. He says he met someone, and it’s serious. He should have told her sooner, but thought he didn’t deserve to be happy. Maybe he was punishing himself for being alive, and not being able to save her. He tried to drive Hayden away, and she wouldn’t go. The more he screwed up, the more she stood by him. He says he has a baby coming, and they’re getting married. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky twice, but isn’t questioning it. He’s betting everything on Hayden. Dammit. I don’t know why Hayden doesn’t just talk to him.

Hayden tells Jared that it’s her engagement ring, and he can’t have it. He tells her to hock it, give him the cash, and she can get it back later. Like she’s going to get much for it. Hayden tells him that they’ll have to pry it from her cold dead hand. He says she’s afraid of what to say to Finn, and to just tell him that she lost it. She says it wouldn’t clear her debt to him anyway, but he says it’s an incentive to keep his mouth shut while she works off the rest. He tells her that once Finn finds out that she put a little girl in a wheelchair, how long will it be before he dumps her? Hayden knows that she ruined Jared’s life, and asks him not to ruin hers too. He says he’ll do her a solid, and give her a way to get what she owes at no cost to her.

Nelle says Michael must drive his family crazy. They’re impulsive, and think they’re winning arguments, while he sits there quietly and then changes everything. Josslyn arrives. She had to tell someone about the amazing thing that happened. She thinks she’s interrupting, but Michael tells her that they’re just getting ready to join the search. Josslyn shows Nelle the necklace, and Nelle says it’s definitely striking. She looks at Josslyn in a weird way, and Josslyn says the necklace is unique. Nelle says definitely again, and shows it to Michael. Josslyn asks if something is wrong, and Michael says he doesn’t think she realizes that it’s made from a bullet casing.

Jared says giving up the ring will cause more problems than it solves, and there’s a simpler solution. She can embezzle it; it’s her specialty. She says that she’s not an embezzler, and he says no, just a drunk driver. He wants her to steal the money from the hospital.

Finn says that a year ago, if anyone had suggested he’d be married and have a baby, he’d have punched them in the face; he thought he’d be dead. Reiko told him to fight and he did. He feels like he has a second chance at life, and wants to make the most of his time. He has a future and a family with Hayden. He wishes he could have all that, and keep Reiko around, but he can’t. She’d tell him the same thing. He sets the letter on fire, and cries a little. He wants her to know he’ll love her forever.

Jared says that Hayden is the CFO, and has the means and opportunity. He says it’s not like she’s hurting anyone, and she tells him it’s a hospital and there to heal the sick. He says it’s big business (truth!); how hard can it be to skim something off? Hayden says it’s impossible, and Jared tells her not to sell herself short. She says she worked hard to keep them in the black, and she won’t do it. He says Finn is in for a rude awakening when he finds out that the mother of his child isn’t the angel he thought she was. Her future with him is about to vanish unless she comes up with the money. She has one week.

Sam tells Jason not to treat her like a delicate flower. She sees the Garvman being wheeled by on a gurney, and he looks at her. Jason asks what’s wrong

Tomorrow, Sam thinks there’s something important she’s not remembering, Valentin has something that belongs to someone else, and it’s twenty minutes to demolition where Sonny is trapped.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Sonja insists that Ramona isn’t happy, but Ramona thinks Sonja is the one who’s not happy. Bethenny describes the group as a hangover meets the Golden Girls, and says wine tasting is for wimps; they go straight to tequila. Ramona says she misses her old life, but she’s embraced the life she has now. Bethenny calls Sonja an emotional buzzkill. In her interview, Tinsley says that Sonja hasn’t been drinking that much, but now she’s letting it loose. Everyone piles on a lounging sofa by the pool. Sonja shouts that she loves tequila – and Luann. In her interview, Luann says that Sonja tends to go bipolar when she’s drinking. Sonja wants to see everyone’s boobs. Bethenny gets nakey and jumps in the pool. Carole and Tinsley say their boobs are real, but they’re not showing anyone anything. Carole says she’ll bare hers for art, while the rest will bare them for tequila. Sonja tries to drink straight from the margarita pitcher, but Luann takes it out of her hands, saying, no, no, no. Sonja gets nakey and joins Bethenny in the pool. Dorinda says she doesn’t even go nakey in her own house.

In the pool, Bethenny talks to Ramona, saying she’s been mean. She says a friend would never have said the things she did about Bethenny’s past and her daughter. Ramona says she didn’t say anything about that, but roll the tape. Yep, there it is. Ramona asks why Bethenny is putting this all on her. Bethenny says because she did it. In her interview, she says Ramona keeps saying she didn’t mean to, but she did.  Ramona says she’s a miserable person. Dorinda tries to put Sonja’s bathing suit back on her, and says it’s like putting a bikini on a piece of spaghetti, and she’ll have to live with that sight for the rest of her life. Ramona tells Bethenny that she’s sorry she did what she did and hurt her. By now, they’re both crying. Ramona says that she doesn’t want to be that person, and Bethenny says that she doesn’t want her to be. Ramona is bawling, and keeps saying I don’t know. Bethenny hugs her, and says she’s not an evil or bad person. In her interview, Ramons says she’s embarrassed about what happened, and it’s not who she is. I hate when people say that. It is you, part of you anyway; you’re the one who did it. She tells us that she says things unedited, but she’s not coming from a place of mean, and there was no valid reason for her being that way. Holy! Is that actually sincere contrition coming from Ramona? She feels like a weight has been lifted off. Bethenny wants them to be respectful and not feel the anger. She says it’s closure. Luann suggests they get ready for dinner. Bethenny says her best reconciliations happen when she’s nakey, and realizes Sonja is wearing her bathing suit. Sonja tries to kiss Bethenny, and in her interview, Bethenny says she’s barking up the wrong vagina. They hug, and say I love yous. I’m glad I hate tequila.

Good thing it’s dinner at the villa. I don’t think this crew could make it very far. As usual, Bethenny is the first one at the table. Dorinda says it’s vacation time; they can do what they want. She says that Bethenny’s aggression is scaring he, and Bethenny says it’s an act. Dorinda starts doing her drunk thing with her hands waving around, and Bethenny imitates her. In her interview, Bethenny says that Dorinda is the weakest link in the drinking chain and a loose cannon. Somehow, Dorinda stabs herself in the hand trying to make a point. Bethenny feels responsible for everyone, and says now blood and a knife is involved. Dorinda tells Bethenny not to pressure herself to be perfect, and asks if it’s overwhelming to be correct all the time. She says that Bethenny is a lot of fun, but wants to be a super human on this trip. She tells Bethenny to let it go. Carole tries to say that Dorinda just meant they should be flexible, but Bethenny says an hour and a half of waiting is flexible. Sonja is sleeping. Tinsley apologizes to Ramona for telling her to shut up. She realizes that it was Sonja who leaked the info to the press. The girls hear fireworks, and go outside to watch. Bethenny tells Dorinda not to psychoanalyze her. Dorinda says she’s a mean bitch. Bethenny says that Dorinda has been harboring feelings, and now it’s coming out. Dorinda says she’s stuck up for Bethenny plenty of times, and leaves. Bethenny says f-u, but adds that Dorinda won’t remember it in the morning. In her interview, Bethenny says it was hurtful. She knows who she is, doesn’t need to be reminded, and it’s probably not going to change. Carole says that Bethenny is being hyper-sensitive. Tinsley says that Dorinda adores her, but Bethenny says she doesn’t think so. Dorinda does owe her an apology though.

In the morning, Ramona decides to try some yoga. She tells Luann she missed so much. Luann says that she talked to Tom and fell asleep. Ramona explains that she talked with Bethenny, and they bared their souls. Luann says that’s great until she screws it up again. Everyone gathers as the instructor waits. Luann asks if everyone is okay, but in her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t really remember what the argument was about. She tells Bethenny all she was trying to say is that Bethenny is a great person, and she should relax. Bethenny asks if this is how she communicates with her friends. Dorinda says she has no hard feelings, and Bethenny says she doesn’t need to. Dorinda tells us that the only person who never sees her nasty side is her mother. Bethenny says Dorinda doesn’t know how to apologize.

In their room, Dorinda tells Carole that she feels badly, but doesn’t like when Bethenny calls her a nasty person. Instead of dealing with her feelings, she gets aggressive, and needs to deal with that. In her interview, Carole says that she wants Dorinda to know she has her back, since it isn’t fun to realize you were fighting with a friend when you were drunk. Dorinda thinks there’s a mouse in the room and freaks. In her interview, she talks about how much she hates them. True mouse story – after we were flooded during Hurricane Sandy, a mouse took up residence with us for a short time. I knew he was around, the dogs kept noticing something, and then we finally ran into each other one night in the kitchen. We locked eyes, and he was so tiny, and looked so frightened, it broke my heart. I wondered what he must have thought happened, and there was no way to explain it to him. I told him that I wasn’t going to hurt him, but he’d have to move on when all the chaos was over. I didn’t, and he did. I can never understand how anyone can be frightened of such a timid little thing. He looked like something off of a Hallmark card. How can you hate that?

Sonja calls Frenchie. She shows him her swimsuit, and looks like she’s using a TSA wand, going up and down her body with the phone. She says she doesn’t like sexting, but likes to flash. She thinks he should be more worried about the women than her picking up a man. The yoga instructor’s tagline is, the way you treat me is your path; the way I react, is mine. Pretty good. Sonja says she’s exhausted from being happy.

Dorinda and Bethenny talk. Dorinda says when her perception is that she’s being attacked, she attacks, and she reacted poorly. She had a beautiful day, and she was wrong. Nicely and simply put. Bethenny says she wants to make everyone feel good, but doesn’t want to gloat over her accomplishments. They hug it out, and I’m glad. They talk about the distillery, and Dorinda says it was amazing. She’s glad they got past their disagreement fast. Bethenny says she has an emotional hangover, and now she’s the one crying all the time

Tinsley, Ramona, and Carole go yachting with Captain Fred.

Bethenny asks if Tinsley is going to marry this guy (I assume she means the Miami date; I’ve forgotten his name already), and Sonja says that she wants to marry every guy she meets. On the boat, Tinsley gets a text, and says that she’s going to Vegas tomorrow. Carole says that Ramona is next, and suggests she move in with Sonja. Tinsley has been planning a thank you party since before Mexico, but now it’s a thank you party with a sprinkle of f-u.

Sonja says that Tinsley thinks they’re all great – until they’re not. Sonja says that Tinsley might have written a book on Southern charm, but thinks the party thing is just for show.

Carole excels in fishing, and sits in one of those fisherman’s chairs. She tells us that you need to be quiet and have patience to catch a fish, so clearly she’s the only one in the group who can do it. Two whales cavort in the water, and Carole dives in for a swim. I’m so jealous. Tinsley wonders what if a whale bites her, and Carole says maybe it will be a sperm whale. What? They don’t catch anything, so they’re buying a fish and saying they caught it.

Carole tells the others to keep their mouths shut. She thinks she’s the only one who can manage it though. She gives the fish to the chef. We flash to a clip of Carole holding the fish at the market like she caught it. In her interview, Luann thinks the captain of the boat probably caught the fish.

Bethenny thinks they’re getting along too well, and someone needs to be in a body bag before they leave. Dorinda thinks that Ramona is Benjamin Button and aging backwards. They go out for dinner, and toast to their last night. Dorinda says, they laughed, they cried, and no one ended up in jail. Luann says making out, falling down, helicopters – it was fabulous. Bethenny asks for the thorn and the rose, the best and worst things for them on the trip. Dorinda says of course her thorn was their disagreement. Carole says her thorn was seeing Dorinda upset, but her rose was rooming with Dorinda. Sonja says the helicopter ride was her rose, and Tinsley says she never felt more baller. Bethenny thinks that Tinsley is more wasted than Dorinda. Luann suggests that Tinsley not drop the f-bomb so much, since they’re in a restaurant. Tinsley tells Luann that she says Palm Beach too much when she means West Palm, and Luann is like, yeah, but that’s not offensive. Tinsley says there’s a huge difference. Luann asks where she lives in Palm Beach, with her mother? Bethenny says it’s a social nucleus, and suggests they put a pin in it, but not Dorinda, since she’s already had an accident. Ramona says that she and Bethenny’s time in the pool together was her rose, but her thorn was when she hadn’t been invited. She felt like she was in Mean Girls. In her interview, she says we grow as people and aren’t perfect. She’s so deep. Dorinda tells them that her rose was the horse dancing to the mariachi band, and their argument was her thorn. Bethenny agrees. Luann starts to say that her husband is her rose, and everyone is like, enough already. Bethenny makes fun of her saying Palm Beach, dah-ling.

Next time, John shows Dorinda a wedding dress (she’s like, whoa, Nellie!); Tinsley throws her party, but Sonja is a no-show, and Tom takes his mic off to talk about Missy.

🍗 The cooks on MasterChef  fed local merchants, from bee keepers to artisan butchers (whatever those are), using their products. The blue team made fish, while the red team made a pork chop dish. As usual, everything looked fantastic to me, because I never would have made it past the first round. Scratch that, I wouldn’t have made it to the first round. The red team ended up with the pressure test, except for Yachecia, who made the polenta. The test was to make six perfect cannolis. A couple of the chefs couldn’t count, and put less than six in the box. Honestly though, I’m like, who cares what they look like, or how many there are, give me one of those. Gordon told Newton that his cannolis were rough around the edges, but had great filling, much like old Newt himself. Brien went home because he doesn’t know how to spell his name, and his cannolis were a mess. He left his apron graciously, and said he’s taking this as a learning experience. Next time, the MasterChef reigning master champ will be conjuring up a mystery box, and a mysterious ingredient pushes some cooks to their breaking point. I can’t even imagine.


July 31, 2017 – Finn Says Yes, Lee Has a Half-Birthday & Jax on the Farm


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Jason talks to himself in Sam’s hospital room about more tests. He’s hoping they make progress this time and he can take her home. He can’t help but think about how empty the house is without her, and what if he’s married to a memory? He tells himself that’s not going to happen.

Griff doesn’t like that Sam is in a coma, but thanks Finn for the diagnosis. He tells Finn he should take a break. Finn asks if Griff thanks Sam is going to wake up. He doesn’t know, but the longer it continues, the greater the odds of her not waking at all.

Hayden talks to Lucy on the phone. She’s visiting the new house to get a feel for it at night. After she hangs up, she says this is going to be their home. She never liked playing house as a girl, but so wants to do it now.

Jared Meets Obrecht in her car. He says he’s given it a lot of thought. Rachel/Hayden has already cost him years in prison, and as tempted as he is, he’s leaving her and his past behind for good. Obrecht anticipated his reluctance. She gives him information on Hayden’s new, wonderful life that she created while he was doing time. He decides to take a look.

Nina sees Nathan at the station. She’s there to collect her bail money. Nathan asks if she’s mad at him, and she says not mad, just disappointed. She never thought he’d give up on her. He says if he implied that, he’s sorry; he just doesn’t want her to get hurt again. She asks where she can get her paperwork for the bail money return, since Valentin is innocent. Valentin walks in, and Nina says this is the last place she thought she’d see him. He wants to know if they found the kidnapper, or is he still a person of interest?

Garvey on a gurney is wheeled into the hospital. Carly is all over him like a cheap suit, and tries to shake him down about where Sonny is.

Still cooling his heels in the cask room. He says he’s not ready, and he wants to live.

Dante asks if the Garvman knows where Sonny is, and what did he do to him? One of the doctors says they have to get him to the OR, and Dante tells them to keep him alive. Elizabeth says the only thing she can remember about the car is that it was dirty. Is it mine?  Dante sends an officer to check the car out. He thanks Elizabeth, who thanks Carly for coming along when she did. Carly tells Dante that Garvey claimed he killed Sonny, but says no way he got the drop on Sonny. She wonders how their paths could have crossed.

Jason wants to know what Griff and Finn are talking about, and Griff says he was just telling Finn to take a break. Finn explains that speculation is what they do. Hayden texts Finn, and Griff tells him to go. Jason asks why he wasn’t told about Sam maybe not waking up forever.

Obrecht tells Jared that while he was languishing in prison, Rachel/Hayden was busy reinventing herself. Her father stole billions in a Ponzi scheme, and she remained blameless. Now she’s CFO of GH. Now she and Finn, who torpedoed her career, just bought a big, beautiful house. She says Finn has no respect for convention or rules. He took the happily ever after that should have been Jared’s.

Valentin thanks Nina. Nathan tells him that he’s worse than people say he is. Valentin says it’s a witch hunt, and Spencer redacted what he’d said. They’ll call him a person of interest, rather than focusing on the real kidnapper.

Carly tells Dante what happened in the parking garage, and that when Garvo let his guard down, she jumped him. Dante says could have had a gun, but she figures he would have shown it. Well, yeah, he would have been holding it to Elizabeth’s head. An officer comes back with the information that they’re running the license plate. He hands Dante something of Spencer’s they found in the car. Dante wonders if maybe Garvey was stalking Sonny, and took Spencer for bait. Carly says what better way to set a trap than to take Sonny’s nephew hostage?

Obrecht tells Jared that’s just the overview; there’s more where that came from. Jared says that he’s cutting his losses, and suggests that she do the same. He tells her auf wiedersehen, and she says he’s a coward. No wonder Hayden left him holding the bag. She’s not walking away; not now, not ever.

Finn shows up at the new house, and Hayden is lying on the floor. He thinks something is wrong, but she’s imagining a skylight. He’s sorry he overreacted, but realized how fragile life is today. He tells her about Sam lapsing into a coma. Hayden asks if it will be okay, and he hopes so. He saw the fear in Jason’s eyes, and could relate to how he could lose everything with no warning. Hayden says their life is just beginning.

Jason asks Griff to be straight with him. Griff says he’s not speculating, or telling him something not confirmed. Jason says that Sam might look fragile, but she’s strong and a fighter, and will do anything for those she loves. He needs Griff to help and believe in her, and asks if Griff can help his wife. Griff says he’ll fight for her. They need to get her conscious, because there’s more likelihood of complications when she’s in a coma. He needs Jason to hold it together. He tells Jason to eat, rest, and hug his kids, but Jason says he’s not leaving until Sam wakes up.

Valentin says he’s going to sue for false arrest, obstruction of justice, and something else I wasn’t fast enough to type, and it flew out of my head. Nathan hopes that Spencer takes Valentin for everything he’s worth. He says it can’t be much, since Nina bailed him out. I guess he doesn’t know that Nina did it to show solidarity, and Valentin’s lawyers were in the process of wiring the money. Nina is like, oh yeah, I came to get my money back. Dante calls Nathan and says they know who abducted Spencer. Valentin says now Nathan has to admit it wasn’t him.

Carly asks Dante what if the Garvster is telling the truth? They have to find Sonny now. Dante says what about checking the GPS on his car or phone, but Carly says that Sonny made sure he was untraceable.

Sonny fingers the cross on his necklace, and starts to give his confession.

Hayden messes with design software on her laptop. She talks about what they can do with the tennis court. Finn asks what she doesn’t like about tennis courts, and she tells him that she doesn’t like what they represent. He wonders what she means, and she says when she was married, they had a house with a court. Her husband was a great player, and would invite investors over, letting them win. It reminds her of a time in her life, and the sad person she was. Finn says he hates tennis. They can turn it into natural habitat for Roxie and her friends. A giant terrarium. I like it. Hayden starts crying, and says hormones are killing her. She tells him that she was talking to Curtis, and he wanted to know if they were going to talk about marriage, or did they even want to get married?

Nina says tells Nathan that he owes Valentin an apology; he was arrested without any evidence. Valentin wants a public apology. It tarnished his character when he’s involved in both a lawsuit and a custody battle. He tells Nina that at least she knows her faith in him wasn’t misplaced. Nathan has a few details he wants to discuss with Valentin, and tells him that if he keeps trying to worm his way back into Nina’s life, he’ll regret it.

Sonny says he has many sins to confess. Pride caused him not to walk away from his old life, now he’s buried in it. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with Sam, but asks God to help her – and him. For so long, he wasn’t afraid to die, but he is now. He doesn’t want to leave his kids and Carly, and not be able to see their lives and futures.

Dante tells Carly to go home. She insists she has to get the Garvmeister to talk, but Dante says that’s his job; there’s nothing for her to do. Dante leaves, and Carly sees Jason. They hug.

Hayden tells Finn that she’s survived her past, and doesn’t want to repeat her mistakes. Marriage is the ultimate test, and she failed twice. She wants to build a life for their child, and she’ll try her best. She tells Finn that she loves him, and he kisses her. She asks if that’s a yes.

Nina orders a martini at the bar, and Obrecht says to put it on her tab. Nina says she should be buying, since she turned down Obrecht’s proposal. Obrecht tells her that you win some, you lose some. She wasted too much time with the ingrates at GH. She tells Nina that sometimes you have to do what’s best for you, even if it means that it’s not best for everyone else. Nina says to tell that to Nathan. Obrecht says he’s too nice for his own good, and Nina says thanks, and jets before she even gets her drink.

Valentin tells Nathan that Nina’s mistakes are hers to make. Nathan tells him to stay away from Nina, but Valentin says they both live in Port Charles, so that’s not practical; they’re part of the same community. He says if he’s lucky enough to get her back, he’ll spend the rest of his life making her happy.

Griff asks Elizabeth if she’s okay, and why she’s still at the hospital after taking down a thug. She says that was Carly. She asks Griff not to laugh, but it felt like a Guardian Angel was looking out for her. Griff says he’s the last person who would laugh at that.

Jason is sorry he couldn’t do more for Sonny. Carly says that he had his hands full. She knows Sonny is alive, like she knows that Sam will pull through this. Jason says that it wasn’t that long ago when he was there, hoping the same thing. He wonders how many prayers God will answer. Carly says that He answers them forever, at least she hopes so. Jason hopes so too.

Finn says he didn’t think Hayden wanted to get married. He agrees that the bar was set high for him, which is why he thought he’d never fall in love again, but that before he met her. She saved him. Hayden says he saved her, and his cure will save more people. Finn says he’s done everything for her, so yes, and not just because of the baby. They kiss some more

Nina calls to Valentin in the garage. She apologizes for Nathan. She says that since there’s no Maxie to protect, he’s overcompensating, but his intentions are good. Valentin admires anyone wanting to fight for Nina. He shares that desire, even though she’s capable of fighting for herself. She’s glad to have someone that has her back, and Valentin says she’s had his. She says he’s not indebted to her anymore, but he says always will be. She kisses him.

Sonny says the Our Father. He closes his eyes.

Griff looks at the test results. He takes Jason aside to talk. Elizabeth tells Carly that the Big Garvhuna is out of surgery, and what room he’s in. She says she should inform Dante, but that might take a while. Carly gets the message, and heads to Garvey’s room. You’d think Dante would have had someone there already.

Finn asks if Hayden wants a celebration, and suggests getting take-out from The Floating Rib. They can have their first dinner in the house. It’s fine with Hayden, as long as there are pickles. He says if he gets a call from the hospital, he’ll bring back the food first. She has to get used to being a doctor’s wife. When he’s gone, she opens her laptop. She hears the door, and thinks Finn forgot something, but it’s Jared, who must have passed Finn on his way in.

Nina and Valentin make out a little. He says that she has no idea how much he’s wanted to kiss her. He asks her to come back and be a family. She says no, and backs away. He tells her goodnight.

Jason calls the Quartermaine’s to talk to Danny, saying that mommy sleeping, but the doctors are taking care of her; she’s going to be fine. He knows, because she loves him and all of them, and blah-blah-blah dad stuff. After he hangs up, he tells himself that she’s going to be fine.

Carly goes to Garvs’s room. This should be good. He opens his eyes, and she says, good, he’s awake. She tells him that she spent time in nursing school, and knows her way around. She knows the morphine drip is a gift for those in pain. She hopes he’s not in too much pain, but that’s up to him – where’s her husband?

A light shines on Sonny. He sees someone, and says, it’s you. I’m assuming he sees Morgan, but they’ve fooled me before. Not often, but they have.

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Finn that happiness won’t protect him from a relapse, Josslyn asks where her mother is, and Hayden says she’s done with Jared, but he says no.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Shannon visits Tamra. She asks for water, probably so Tamra won’t smack her. Tamra recommends some kind of natural mood lifter. Geez, can she spare the water? There’s like a whole inch in the glass. Tamra talks about seeing Kelly walk into the restaurant, and insists she was wasted. Well, probably. She was on the boat with her friends all day.

Kelly is steaming some clothing, noting that it looks easier when they do it in the store. She tells Michael about the evening at The Not-So-Quiet Woman. We flash back to all the times that Kelly has been kicked out of various places and parties, as well as Shannon’s plate throwing skills. Michael thinks it will be difficult to get past. In her interview, Kelly says that Shannon doesn’t own up to where she’s responsible. Truth! Michael says somewhere in there is a fun-loving person, since they’ve had laughs. Kelly believes they could be friends, but for whatever reason, she thinks Tamra is interfering. Michael says they have a new puppet master. Kelly thinks that Shannon has Stockholm Syndrome with Tamra. This is like the Munchhausen of the new OC season.

Tamra tells Shannon how everybody was looking at them. Shannon says Lydia just wanted to get out of there. Can you blame her?

Lydia’s mother is having a party for grandson Stirling’s birthday. Everything is set up like it’s a movie premiere. Lydia explains how her parents are total opposites, but it works. She tells Judy she doesn’t think Vicki is going to bring Briana, but Judy doesn’t care. She says it’s five years ago. It might be, but we can still flash back to the infamous Judy-putting-her-feet-on-the-couch incident. Lydia tells her about making up with Shannon, but she thinks it’s Vicki and Kelly vs Tamra and Shannon. She doesn’t want any plate throwing at the party, and Judy thinks fairy dust might be in order. Isn’t it always?

It’s really a cool set-up, with a red carpet and everything. A magician usher does some tricks, but hears crickets from the kids. Lydia tells Kelly she’s confused about what happened at the restaurant. She says after seeing Shannon’s reaction to Kelly, she doesn’t think it will ever be fine between them. Peggy arrives, and doesn’t want to get in the middle of it. Vicki says Peggy’s ring is the size of her house, which is more than a slight exaggeration, although it is sizable. Lydia introduces their MC, Micky, who is also the usher. All the kids are brought in for the movie premiere, while the adults eat and drink. We see Judy’s collection of crowns. That she cooks in. She gives the ladies vials of fairy dust. She dusts Lydia, who isn’t thrilled when some gets on her sweater. Peggy says it’s hard to clean off, and I’m with her on that, having done crafts with kids. Glitter and Play-Doh are my enemies.

The cake is brought out. Vicki tells Peggy that she has to teach her to be tough, since some of the girls can be hard and turn on you. Peggy tells Vicki about her double-mastectomy, and how she’ll be going through reconstructive surgery. Vicki tells her to call if she needs anything like help with the kids. In her interview, she feels that health issues should be kept private after the whole Brooks thing, but she’s not requiring any documentation.

Vicki picks Kelly up. She’s getting tightened inside and out. She’s hoping it makes everything better for everybody. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ In her interview, Vicki says she’s always there for her friends, but she doesn’t want to know. She says next time, they’re just going to lunch. How can I put this? They put in a laser that looks like… never mind. Kelly says she’s taking one for the team. It’s a fairly quick procedure, thank God.

Shannon is teaching Sophie to drive. Beforehand, she tells Sophie that her goal is for her daughter to be a safe driver, so don’t argue with anything. Sophie still thinks it will be easier than her father teaching her. Shannon says she’s going to be calm, and it’s going to be a nice, peaceful ride. It starts off that way, until Shannon tells Sophie that she keeps going into the crosswalks. Then tells her to slow own. Sophie says that Shannon is freaking her out. Someone blows a horn, scaring Shannon, and Sophie claims the car wasn’t even in her lane. Shannon keeps giving instructions, and tells the next car over that Sophie is a permit driver. Which Sophie really appreciates.

Tamra’s son Ryan is at her place. She has to give a speech, and isn’t looking forward to it. She got involved in a documentary called Erasing Family, and they asked her to speak at one of their events. She’s texting Simon, who she has a better relationship with now. Ryan says he was talking to Sydney and told her that she was missing everything, and should come around more. Tamra ran into her at Ryan’s house, and says it was awkward, but they hugged for the first time in years. She feels like she doesn’t even know her own daughter, and says it’s the first step to their future. She asks about Sarah, and says all the fighting doesn’t need to happen. Ryan says he knows, but can relate to Simon. We flash back to how Simon tried to get Ryan to be more responsible when he was young. Ryan says that Simon is an a-hole, but thanks him. Tamra thought he hated Simon, but Simon was hard on him because he wanted him to do well. In her interview, Tamra says Ryan gets it now. Tamra tells him not to go through what she did the last few years, and he tells her that his biggest fear is leaving because of the fighting, and not knowing who might step in. Tamra feels guilty, and says she’s here for him. He says his problems are his.

Meghan is pleased with dropping another pants size. She’s waiting for Kelly. She has a new nanny named Bridget, whom she hired without knowing her qualifications. That seems pretty odd for a new mom, but okay. She says her relationship with Kelly has drifted. In her interview, she tells us that she asked Kelly if she was seeing someone, and she didn’t like the question. In her interview, Kelly says she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and if she did, she would say so. Meghan doesn’t care, but Kelly retaliated by sending a text saying Jimmy was having an affair. Meghan says even though she knew it wasn’t true, no one should send a text like that to a woman who is seven months pregnant. So she cut Kelly out for a few months and let her back in because it’s easier not to fight with her. Kelly brings a cute outfit for Aspen, and tells Meghan about the fight with Shannon, including Kelly’s “keep eating” comment. In her interview, Meghan says the way Kelly goes after people isn’t normal, and it’s like a toddler having a tantrum. Bridget presents Meghan with the baby, who is wailing her head off.

Diko is putting wheels on Vicki’s car. She’s overwhelmed with all the cars in his garage. He says that he has ten more in another building because they didn’t fit. Vicki has a hard time with new people, and we flash back to her clashing with most of the ones who have joined the show since the beginning. She thinks there’s promise for a great friendship with Peggy though. Diko says Peggy was touched by whatever Vicki said at the birthday party. In her interview, Peggy says that she likes Vicki because she’s protective, and Peggy knows she means it when she says she’d drop everything to help. Peggy starts to talk about her mother, but chokes up, and doesn’t want to go there. She says it’s hard to look in the mirror, because she looks like her. Vicki says her mother was so young. Peggy’s father has also passed, and it came at the same time she was diagnosed. Vicki tells her about her own mother, and we flash back to when she found out her mother had died. That was one of the saddest things ever, and a truly real moment.

Tamra’s dad, Frank, comes over for the Erasing Family event. They haven’t had the best relationship – he left her mom for her best friend. Eww, that’s messy. She says she took her mom’s side in the divorce, and shunned her father, and thinks Sydney is doing the same to her. Well, karma and all that. Her brother also shows, but her mom got called into work. She’s annoyed that her mother didn’t make the effort. She wonders if it’s too painful, but says her mother never talks about anything. They head out.

Tamra schmoozes with the guests. She tells us that there are 22 million people alienated from their kids. She talks to someone about her dad having been her hero, and how she ostracized him, but he’s here tonight, and drove ten hours to get there. In her interview, she says that it hurts her feelings that her mom didn’t think it was important enough to show up. Tamra is introduced. She asks her dad, brother, and son to come up – three generations of alienated people. She says that it hurts every day, and she gets through it by helping others. She starts to cry as she speaks about silent pain. She thinks her daughter will be back one day, as well as the others. She tells them to love their children more than they hate the other parent. In her interview, she says that she hopes Ryan and Sarah think twice and work harder at making things work. Eddie tells her she did great. He says to let her daughter come back, and not force the issue. Leave it to God.

Next time, a trip to Hawaii, Lydia talks to Doug about downtime, Kelly wants her mother to do something for her soul, and Peggy tells Meghan to shut up.

🐮 On Sweet Home Oklahoma, the girls threw a 40.5 birthday party for Lee, whose birthday is in December, when it’s hard to compete with Jesus’s birthday. A 70s costume roller rink party was decided on, and Pumps wanted pictures of everyone in their costumes first, to make sure she wouldn’t be the only one in costume, like on Tubby’s birthday. Lee insisted no strippers, and Jennifer agreed the only thing they’re good for is humiliating the person being danced upon. Pumps was proud of her rented costume, not wanting anyone to see it beforehand, and then found out she had the wrong decade, thinking it was an 80s party. They grilled their Uber driver, because they enjoy interrogating millennials, and he was an incredibly good sport – and very hot. Lee skated like a pro, but I’m more like Pumps, who needed a child’s walker. Or roller, as it were. A SWAT team guy came in, and yep, he was a stripper. After Lee was subjected to a lap dance, she made Pumps go next, since it was her half birthday. Jennifer also helped Pumps look for a new house. Next time, Pumps gets her new house. I can’t say it enough how much I love this show. While I totally enjoy a good Wife fight, this reality doesn’t make you feel like you might need a shower afterward. Without being saccharine, it leaves you feeling good. These people are real friends, who are intrinsically funny, much like the ones on my dearly departed The People’s Couch. I literally lol several times per show, and it’s broken my heart a little too. There is real love between everyone, and they’re funny without being mean. We could all use a little more of that.

💪 Tonight’s best Sweet Home quote: I’m always nice, bitch. – Pumps

🐓 Starting Wednesday, August 23, at 9 pm, Bravo is bringing forth Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky. It looks like it might be amusing in a Simple Life way – i.e. Jax contending with life on the farm – but if LVP isn’t on it, I’m not sure if it’s worth the TV time.