Category Archives: real housewives

July 11, 2018 – Peter’s Location is Changed, NYC Wives Speed Date, Raw Duck, Nimrods & Endless


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Maxie looks through swimsuits in the Crimson closet. Lulu says she’s busted.

On the phone, Nelle says, so if things don’t work out, she has no way to protect herself. Michael comes in, and asks who she was talking to. She tells him that it was a lawyer advising her on the prenup.

Chase goes to the hospital to see Finn sees, He says they need to talk about his mother and their father.

Obrecht tells Peter to quit sniveling. He says she sedated him again, and wonders what happened. She tells him that she’s moved him, and welcomes him to Spoon Island. They’re in the stables. He yells, like that’s ever helped.

Valentin finds out that the stable hand had a family emergency, and tells them that he’ll take care of the horses.

Drew finds Nina at the MetroCourt. He wants to talk about Aurora. He thinks Nina has been hiding something for the last few weeks.

Lulu thought Maxie was on parental leave, but Maxie says there was a problem with Crimson’s Instagram story. She asks if Lulu is implying she’s neglecting her son, and Lulu wonders what’s going on with her attitude. Maxie says, for one, Lulu barged in, saying she was busted. Lulu says she was teasing. She came here to see Nina and set up a visit with Charlotte. Maxie says it doesn’t feel that long ago that she lost her job trying to get Lulu the same thing. Lulu says it’s ancient history, and asks why Maxie is digging it up. She thinks Maxie is finding a reason to be mad at her. Maxie says she doesn’t have to look very far.

Nina tells Drew that she’s not hiding anything. He asks her to explain next month’s issue. He just had to talk a publisher off the ledge. The next issue is due at the printer tomorrow, and over a quarter of the letterhead space is unsold. Nina insists it was a communication breakdown. She says, It isn’t supposed to go until… and realizes it is tomorrow. She can’t believe this happened. Drew can’t believe the oversight. With that much left unsold, the magazine is going to hemorrhage money. They’ll have to cut features in the September issue. Nina says he can’t, but he says this is what happens when things fall through the cracks. He asks her, what’s going on?

Peter calls out he’s in the stables; someone help! Obrecht asks if he’s finished. She thought he’d appreciate a change of scenery. She and his father shared many happy times there – until he tried to gas her to death along with Lulu. Peter yells some more, and she asks him to kindly stop his banshee wailing. He tells her the horses need to be taken care of, but she says the equestrian staff won’t be there for the next few days. He asks if she’s going to keep dragging him from place to place forever. She says, forever is just a word. Everything comes to an end. When the story comes to a conclusion, so will he. She doesn’t want to waste the time they have. She looks in her bag, but can’t find her notebook.

Chase tells Finn not to worry about his parents’ impending visit. They’ve been invited to Germany. Finn says he wasn’t worried. He knows Chase was looking forward to seeing them. Chase says he tried calling Finn, but it went to voicemail. Finn says he’s not avoiding Chase; he’s been busy with something. Chase asks, what?

Nelle tells Michael that she wanted to make sure signing the prenup is the best decision. It’s not a corporate merger; it’s her life. They said it’s pretty straightforward with no red flags, but it seems unromantic to go in thinking it’s going to fail. Michael gets it, but it’s not his idea. She asks why he was so insistent then. He tells her the Quartermaine’s are protective of their fortune. Ned refused to officiate unless she signed it, but don’t take it personally. Everyone who comes into the family has to do the same thing. It only comes into play if they divorce, and he’s not planning on it. Is she? Nelle says she has no reservations about signing; it’s just a formality. As long as they’re together, the papers are meaningless. She signs it, and says, all done. Michael thanks her for being understanding. The only things left is to say their vows. Nelle says she has a lot to get ready for, and Michael tells her to put the prenup in a random drawer, and never look at it again.

Finn tells Chase it might have more to do with his area of expertise. Chase gets a text from Michael, saying, she signed the prenup; UR ON. Chase says he has to go, unless there’s a crime to report. Finn thinks he can handle it.

Nina apologizes to Drew, saying it won’t happen again. He tells her that he’s someone who cares about her, and thinks she didn’t take enough time to grieve. She admits to throwing herself into her work, but it suited her fine. Drew says, maybe, until this. She says they don’t know each other well, but assures him it’s an anomaly. He says, it’s not the end of the world. They can spread the deficit out over a few months. Nina says she’ll get the ads sold. He appreciates the effort, but thinks there’s no way she can do it by tomorrow. She says, watch her; she won’t let him down. Drew tells her, good luck, and leaves. Valentin walks in.

Lulu asks Maxie if they didn’t laugh and have fun, and weren’t they overjoyed with James coming home? Was she dreaming? Maxie says, it happened, and Lulu asks, what is this? How can they have a day like yesterday, and now Maxie is treating her like dirt? Maxie says maybe it’s because Nina’s assistant called her because they weren’t prepped, so she had to come to the place where Nathan was shot. It’s made her remember how he’ll never hold James, and James will never know him as anything but a photo. If the super journalist had thought it through, that could have been avoided. Lulu say she’s actually lost track of how long she’s been apologizing, and begging for Maxie’s forgiveness. Maxie says, five months; Nathan died five months ago. Lulu knows Maxie is living her worst nightmare. Maxie says Lulu thinks she’ll get over it, and they’ll go back to being best friends. Lulu says she stays up at night, wondering how she could have done things differently. Maxie says, join the club. Lulu says, she blew, and she’s sorrier than she can ever say. She wasn’t just bringing Faison out to further her career. She thought he would be arrested, and Maxie and her family would be safe. Maxie says, another Spencer plan goes down in flames. Lulu says every time Maxie pushes her away, then there’s a moment when she’s given hope, and thinks their friendship is back. Is it real or a game? Is it her version of revenge? She asks if she’s just supposed to take Maxie’s punishment forever. Maxie says Lulu is the one who treats her friends like garbage to get what she wants. She says, it’s not fair to give a deadline on grief, but Lulu wonders when she’s going to be forgiven. Maxie says, as usual, it’s all about her. She’s a self-righteous narcissist. Lulu says Maxie can say what she wants, but she’s trying. Maxie says she treated someone she said she cares about like garbage. She turns her back to Lulu, who throws a beachball at her. They start to fight with pool noodles.

Nina asks what Valentin is doing there, and he says, getting breakfast. She says he has staff to do that. He admits he welcomed the opportunity to bump into her, and she asks what his angle is. He says, no angle, and she asks if he’s done blackmailing her to stay in the marriage. He says running into her was serendipity. Charlotte wants to invite her to dinner. She says, now it’s emotional blackmail, but she knows better. Charlotte is staying with Lulu, who said she can see Charlotte whenever she wants. Valentin says it means a lot for her to stay in Charlotte’s life. Nina gets a call. When she steps into the hallway, Valentin says, 3… 2… 1… We hear Nina say, what?! She comes back and asks, what the hell did he do?

Obrecht says it must be here somewhere, and Peter suggests she dropped it when she was moving him. She says she thought she put it in her bag before she took him. She must have left it in the cabin. She has to go back. Peter says, maybe they came back for a second look. If they find the notebook, they’ll turn it into the police. She can’t keep cops away forever. It’s time to choose between her revenge and her freedom.

Nelle mopes on the couch, and Ned asks if she has bridal jitters. She says, guilty, and he tells her not to worry. At least about the wedding. He’s been trying to get Michael to relax and enjoy his final hours as a free man. He asks if she has anything planned, and she says she’s tying up odds and ends; she’s not in a celebrating mood. The prenup was a buzzkill; all clinical. He says she knows how it works in their family. Olivia did the same thing; she insisted. Nelle asks, what about him? He says the thought never occurred to him. He’s been married before, but knew this would last forever. It’s recommended, but not mandated. Olivia wanted to be no question that they weren’t getting married for money. He thinks it was a good idea. It takes the doubt out of marriage. He thinks Nelle made the right decision.

Nelle’s phone rings. It’s Chase. He needs to see her right now.

Lulu starts to throw a shoe, but Maxie stops her, saying they’re on loan for the Instagram story. Lulu puts it back gently, saying she doesn’t think it was damaged. Maxie says it was really close, and they laugh.

Nina says how dare Valentin? It’s outrageous, buying the remaining ad space for the August issue. He asks if he can be honest, and she says, why start now? as I would have said. He overheard she needed sales, and he wanted to be of assistance. Cassadine Enterprises has a robust ad budget. She hasn’t even looked at it. She reads a copy on her phone. To my darling wife… I’m sorry. My heart yearns for your forgiveness. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. Come back and make my life full again. (I might have paraphrased a tad there.)

Finn leaves another message for Anna, saying he’s on to something, but doesn’t want to explain in a message. He asks her to call him back. He sees Deanna bringing in Wyatt, who has poison oak. He says he’ll take a look. Deanna is surprised he doesn’t have anything more pressing, but he insists he has the time.

Chase meets Nelle on the docks. Shirtless, because he needed to get in his run. I roll my eyes. He tells her that he wanted to apologize for how he acted at the MetroCourt. He went too far. He meant everything he said, but it wasn’t fair to throw it in her face so close to the wedding. He was wrong anyway. Michael clearly wants a future with her and their child. He’s sure the Quartermaines will welcome her into the fold. She’ll be bringing new blood to the family. Nelle asks if he thinks that’s enough, and he says, all that matters is Michael wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He asks if she’s been given reason for doubt, and she mentions the prenup.

Drew arrives at the Quartermaine’s. He tells Michael that he heard he’s getting married; it’s kind of sudden. Ned says he can assure Drew that they all hounded him plenty. He says they’re going to put their reservations aside, and honor the Quartermaine tradition of sending a bachelor off in style. He asks if they are still getting married. He saw Nelle sulking, and thinks the prenup is getting under her skin.

Chase tells Nelle that he didn’t mean to upset her. She says it’s none of his business, but he says divorce scares him. How will she provide for herself? She says they’re not getting divorced, and he asks if Michael agrees. The more he hears about it, the more he doesn’t like it. She doesn’t have to go through with it. She asks what the alternative is, and he says they can still be together.

Ned says he has cigars with their names on them, and leaves to get them. Drew asks if Michael is going to break it to him that cigars make him gag. Michael knows how important traditions are with the Quartermaines. Drew wonders why everyone else seems more excited than Michael is.

Nelle says Chase can’t be serious. When they were at the courthouse, he was threatening her. Was it just romance? He admits his pride got the better of him. He was scared to admit how he felt when he saw her. She’d moved on. He shouldn’t have been afraid to tell her. She asks what makes him think she cares? He says it was now or never, and he’d kick himself if he didn’t. He says Michael is in it for the baby. He can get a divorce, and sole custody. Chase loves her. He can never give her the life she deserves, but he loves her. She says it’s not that easy. Michael is the father of her child, and they’ve planned a life together. Chase says they can raise the baby. They’ll find a place far from the Quartermaines and Corinthoses. They can do things right this time. He can give her the love Michael never could. She says Michael can give her something Chase can’t.

Maxie says she’ll never look at pool noodles the same way, and Lulu says she’ll help clean up. Maxie gets a message that the ad space was sold, and tells her to leave it. She says she doesn’t hate Lulu; she hates herself. She goes back and forth in her head, and knows Lulu isn’t the reason Nathan was killed. He was determined to lure Faison there to arrest him. If Lulu hadn’t written the story, he’d have found another way to track him down. Lulu says, but she did. Her fear of failure led her to take a shortcut. Ambition clouded her judgement. She can understand why Maxie wants to see her suffer. Maxie doesn’t want that, but at the same time, her happiness makes Maxie’s grief worse. She’s not proud of it, but when she sees Lulu with her family, she starts mourning all over again; for the family she’ll never have. Lulu says her life is less perfect and happy with Dante gone. Maxie says misery loves company, but she mostly thinks about how lucky Lulu is. The man she loves is coming home eventually. The man Maxie loves, never will.

Nina asks Valentin how he expects her to react? Be humbled? Touched? Grateful? He says they’re all great. She tells him the ads are not going in. He asks how she’s going to justify turning down revenue; it’s not that objectionable. She says he didn’t say their names, but people will connect the dots. It undermines her authority as editor-in-chief. He asks, how? Proving to the world she’d loved? She says she can’t trust him again. She doesn’t think he’s even aware of lying all the time. He says he never lied about loving her, and she says, he lied about everything else. The final straw was finding out he took an innocent child to seek revenge against Anna. She remembers being pregnant, and felt love. She never wants anything to happen to a child, like he feels about Charlotte. He took an innocent boy, and gave him to Faison. It changed how she’ll look at him forever.

Peter tells Obrecht, if the cops find the journal, they’ll know he was there with her. She says even if they connect it, they’ll never find them there. Really? Really? After they found Mike and Avery there, and it was the first place they wanted to look for Faison? Really? Peter says they’ve lost two chapters, and have to start over. Who knows how long they’ll be safe there? Obrecht says he’s cunning, but she has an excellent memory; thank you, Sodoku. She tells him, let’s pick up where we left off.

Finn wraps Wyatt’s arm, and gives him some cream, saying he’ll explain it to Wyatt’s mom. He wonders if he can ask Wyatt a question. Wyatt asks, what? and Finn asks if he could identify the man in the woods if he showed him a picture. He brings up a picture of Peter on his phone.

Lulu tells Maxie that she’s sorry. She never wanted to add to Maxie’s grief. Maxie knows, and she’s sorry too. She’s all over the place right now. Lulu says she wants to respect how Maxie is feeling. If it means giving her space… Lulu starts to leave, saying she wants Maxie to know she’s there, if she’s ever ready, and know she loves her no matter what. Maxie asks her to wait, and says she loves Lulu, no matter what. They hug.

Michael tells Drew that he thought it through, and given the situation, it seemed like the right choice. Drew asks, for him or his kid? and Michael says, what’s right for his kid is right for him. Drew trusts he knows what he’s doing. He thinks they should make an effort to try to act like family again. Michael likes it. Drew congratulates him, and they clink glasses.

Nelle tells Chase that Michael can give her stability and comfort. Why leave that behind just because he wants to whisk her away? She doesn’t want to make that mistake, and even if she did, how would they start a new life with Michael’s family looking for them? Chase says they’ll work it out. Nelle says she shouldn’t have come. She hopes he can move on. She has. He asks her to wait, but she jets.

Finn tells Wyatt to take his time, and look closely. Don’t tell him what he wants to hear, but tell him the truth. Wyatt doesn’t think it’s him, but Deanna interrupts before he can say more. Finn is needed in the ER stat. Finn tells Wyatt that his mother will get him in a second, and leaves. In the room alone, Wyatt says, it could have been the guy, but he had a beard. You’d think Finn might have thought of that. Being a junior spy and all.

Obrecht tells Peter that when they left their hero, all was lost. How is he feeling now? Peter says, useless, helpless, doomed. She tells him, don’t be so glum. Think of the novel as his legacy. It will outlast him, no matter what unfortunate ending comes his way.

Valentin tells Nina that he loves her, and she admitted she loved him too. They can fix anything. He has to take care of the horses, and tells her, if she wants, he’ll saddle Lumiere. He leaves, and Nina calls Obrecht.

Obrecht says Peter is holding back, and not to allow self-pity to interfere with the narrative flow. He says their hero was surprised to realize the things he’d chased – money, power, revenge – were all meaningless. He discovered what he loved most were moments – ice cream with an unexpected friend; laughing until your sides hurt, with a girl with sparkling blue eyes; a baby’s first breath and cry; the first time his mother reached out to hold him. Why, Octavian wondered, do we never understand life’s meaning and true value until we’re about to lose it all? Obrecht ponders.

Tomorrow, Jordan asks Stella for a favor, Nina tells Valentin that he can’t go home, and Mike tells Sonny that he’s gaining a daughter.

The Real Housewives of New York City

LuAnn rehearses with her accompanist. She didn’t expect to get arrested, and feels stressed that she only has four weeks to practice. She explains that her director worked with Liza Minelli, Chita Rivera, and other cabaret stars. I wonder if they’re hard-up for money. She says she’s lucky to be surrounded by a great team. Sonja will also be in the show to take the pressure off. The script is based on the story of LuAnn’s life, and the songs she likes to sing. Rachel Dratch will be involved somehow, but she doesn’t explain how that happened. The show is called #The Countess and Friends, just to mess with everyone who rags on her about being The Countess. Sonja arrives, thrilled to be a part of the show. She’s in her element. The director maps out what will be happening with Money Can’t Buy You Class. LuAnn will start telling a story, and Sonja will interrupt, saying that’s not how it happened. We see a clip from Sonja’s Caburlesque show. In her interview, LuAnn says Sonja will be wearing panties. It’s a snatch free zone.

Tinsley visits Carole, bringing her a present. Carole says Adam sent five dozen tulips. In her interview, Carole says it’s no secret Adam wants her back in his life, but she’s not sure how she feels. Tinsley gives Carole a pair of fingerless gloves that make a heart when you put them together. Carole says when her friend, Tripp, was walking Baby, Adam ended up coming back with her. Tinsley thinks it’s annoying that he’d walk in unannounced. Carole says break-ups are messy, and she wants to make it right. She’ll contact him when she has time. Scott is in town, and wants to live with Tinsley in New York. She wants to continue staying in the hotel, so they’re moving into the penthouse, which has three bedrooms. In her interview, Tinsley says they hung in during a year of long distance, now she’s happy to wake up next to him. She hopes she’s easy to live with, and Carole says, keep it cute. Good luck with that when you’re living together.

A package arrives. Carole has a friend who runs a matchmaking service, and it’s an invitation to her speed dating party. It’s really cool; a clear box with roses (about four inches of stem) in water. Like something the Queen would send out. They talk about who else could use a date in three minutes. Carole likes the idea.

Sonja drops by Bethenny’s place. Bethenny gives her another pair of Skinny Jeans. I’d call them burgundy, and Sonja declares them the color of the year. In her interview, Sonja says she’s not thrilled about Bethenny and Carole being on the outs, but she’s happy to be getting the jeans. In her interview, Bethenny thinks Sonja has no shortage of men, but needs to be strategic in her dating moves. Sonja wants to dip her toe in the dating pond, and has a profile online. Her flag is up, and it’s waving wildly.  Bethenny reads Sonja’s profession from the profile, and it’s a list of five thousand things. Bethenny tells her that it takes information from all the apps she has. She tells Sonja that no one looks at it anyway. The only look at the picture, age, and height.

Dorinda goes to Jovani. LuAnn needs something glam and wonderful for her cabaret act, and needs about ten costume changes. Dorinda says Jovani has been good to her over the years in lending her dresses, and she persuaded them to extend the favor to LuAnn. LuAnn wants to do a modern take on cabaret, and envisions different dresses for different scenarios. Dorinda wants her to look her best, and she does. Everything she puts on looks sparkly and fabulous, and there are a lot of mermaid hems. LuAnn is amazed that everything fits perfectly. Dorinda asks about court, and LuAnn says it was cancelled today. Her attorney wants to review the evidence. He’s hoping for no criminal charges, since she didn’t show criminal intent; she was under the influence, and not normally aggressive. She thinks having gone to rehab showed initiative, and is hoping for leniency, along with community service. Dorinda says, it will ultimately go where it’s going to go, which sounds like a bad fortune cookie.

Tinsley tells her precious little dog Bambi not worry about the suitcases. She’s not getting left behind. Tinsley’s friend, Michael, is helping her move. She tells him it’s the easiest move ever. She takes sweaters out of the oven, surprising both Michael and myself. I used to store extra dishes in the dishwasher, and admit to storing bakeware and the occasional box of cereal in the oven, but never clothes. I wish I’d thought of that with my first apartment, since the closet was a small triangle. But I digress… In her interview, Tinsley says she and Scott thought this should be the next step in the relationship. Michael stops her from just throwing really expensive shoes into a box. He refuses to watch as she does it anyway. She’s let Scott off the hook for helping, since he helped with the last move. In her interview, she says Scott is very much in charge at work, and she hopes him moving to New York puts them on a more equal level. him in charge at work. She shows Bambi around their new place. She says for once her clothes will be in a closet. In her interview, she explains she likes to always be with her man, and hopes this works out.

LuAnn meets Carole for coffee. They’re both boring coffee drinkers, just regular with milk. LuAnn is slightly more adventurous with cream. In her interview, Carole says she’s weirdly honored that LuAnn asked her to go for coffee after her meeting. LuAnn tells Carole that she’s been nesting. She’s supposed to stay away from people, places, and things, and is taking it day by day. The meetings help her to stay in line. In her interview, she says she doesn’t label herself. She makes a day to day decision not to drink, and she’s good with that advice. She tells Carole that the meetings encourage that she’s here for a reason, and to keep coming back. Carole asks being around other people drinking is cool, and LuAnn says it doesn’t matter if others drink. Carole says she thought it was a good move when LuAnn left he table at the Mayflower. LuAnn says not drinking is exhausting. She’d been burning the candle at both ends, and now she gets up early and does yoga. In her interview, Carole says she’s prepared to be a friend to this LuAnn, who understands her actions have consequences, and is trying hard to turn her life around. They talk about LuAnn’s upcoming cabaret, and Carole tells LuAnn to tell Sonja to wear underwear. LuAnn says she can’t play snatch-guard. She’ll be too busy singing.

Ramona meets a friend at the gym for a workout. In her interview, Ramona says the best thing about staying in shape is that you can wear anything. Truth! It sucks to go through a million outfits that don’t look right. Ramona says she hasn’t met the guy yet. She doesn’t know why she’s good with flirting, which she’d rather call, open to meeting men. She tells us that she has a high libido, which I didn’t need to know. The trainer helps with the machines. Ramona says she wants someone as smart or smarter than herself (which shouldn’t be too hard), but attraction is number one. Meeting men isn’t a problem, but meeting the right one is. Preach it, sister.

Dorinda and LuAnn pass the church where LuAnn’s AA meetings are held. They’re also near Dorinda’s church. LuAnn tells Dorinda that she’s keeping up the keeping up, but restaurants are the hardest. Dorinda says someone sent her a gift basket with wine, and it’s the first thing she thought of on a cold night. She’s proud of LuAnn. In her interview, LuAnn says it’s not easy. It’s like something you’ve learned for a long time, like brushing your teeth another way. It’s not the anxiety of not drinking, but the habit that you’re fighting. They go inside Dorinda’s church. She says it’s helped her get through difficult times. She likes to meditate, recalibrate, and refocus. She thinks it might be a good tool for LuAnn. They could go to church, and then have coffee. Dorinda shows LuAnn the candle she lit for her when she was in rehab. In her interview, LuAnn says Dorinda has been the most supportive. She thinks everyone’s thoughts and prayers together make a difference. Thank you. Dorinda tells LuAnn that Carole is doing a high-end super fun speed dating thing. She thinks LuAnn should come, just see what it’s like. In her interview, Dorinda thinks it might be good for LuAnn to go through the actions, but no real dating. She needs to date herself. The church looks familiar, but I didn’t see what street they’re on. They light a candle together, and Dorinda prays for strength for LuAnn.

It’s time for speed dating! Carole tells the matchmaker that she has six friends coming. Two are coming to observe, and the other four are in various stages of dating. The girls trickle in, with Ramona leading the pack, and latching on to a guy named Bryan before the dating even starts. Sonja says it’s amazing and mesmerizing to watch. In her interview, Bethenny says she and Dennis love each other, but he’s not capable of being a partner, so she’s open. It turns out she knows Bryan, and she says, the dating plot thickens. It’s the last place LuAnn wants to be, and Sonja asks a guy if she smells like mothballs. Tinsley says even if she wasn’t spoken for, no way would do this. She’s a Southern girl, and needs to be wined and dined. We flash back to the kiss she laid on Scott five minutes after meeting him. Carole finds out her date has kids, and it’s swipe left. Tinsley says Ramona’s got game. Dorinda says it’s like watching a fluffy kitty before it pounces on a tiny mouse. Bryan sits with Bethenny, and kind of hits on her. In her interview, she says it’s flattering, but he’s not her type. She doesn’t want to make herself like someone just because they like her. A guy asks LuAnn what she did for the holidays. She says she was supposed to go to South America, but didn’t make it.

Ramona kisses a dude for thinking she’s around 44, and it’s time to mingle. Carole didn’t meet the guy she wanted to (i.e. Bryan), because he was being devoured by Ramona and Bethenny. Ramona gets tequila for Bryan. A guy at the bar says he thinks Bryan likes Bethenny, but Ramona claims she’s just returning the favor since he bought her a drink. She slinks over with it, and makes a presentation. In her interview, Bethenny does an over-the-top, but accurate imitation of her. Tinsley tells a few of the girls about staying in Cartagena, Columbia, and wants everyone to go there with her. Dorinda only knows the scary things that happen in Columbia, and prefers places that have commercials, like the Bahamas. Tinsley shows pictures of the house she stayed in, and Carole says she had them at private island. Sonja talks to a guy about bondage. Carole tells everyone about the trip. Sonja can’t imagine not having an amazing time. Wow. Is she optimistic.

Next time, the Cartagena trip, Ramona gets a ride in a wheelchair, and Bethenny tells Dorinda that she doesn’t always have to share.

🍴 On MasterChef, the contestants made dinner for the wedding of the Season 7 winner, Shaun O’Neale. Juni and Julia were team captains, blue and red respectively, but something happened that I missed (because, dogs), and Taylor ended up taking Juni’s place. The red team undercooked the duck to the point where it was nearly raw, and needed to re-plate that for a few guests. Unfortunately, they’d made the genius move of throwing out everything that was left, and had to start from scratch. Miraculously, they still won. And we learned that service isn’t over until the last person leaves. On the losing blue team, Gordon deemed Taylor and Shanika safe from elimination. To everyone’s surprise, there was no pressure test. Gordon got right to the point, saying Ashley cracked under pressure, and Juni let go of his responsibility. It was Juni who was out, Gordon saying the team was doomed before they started. They had a bad concept and lost direction. Still, Juni gave a graceful exit, thankful for the opportunities. He said there weren’t many people who could say they cooked in the MasterChef kitchen, and that Gordon tasted their food. He thought he made his mom proud. Well said. Next week, it’s crawfish, and Aaron cooks alongside the chefs. It’s the shock of the season, and Joe says there’s more on the line than they thought.

🔥 A once vibrant town that had become desolate, Greenville, Mississippi was Gordon’s destination on 24 Hours to Hell and Back. Sherman’s, owned by the Nimrod family, had been a thriving business, but no more. Gordon made every joke possible about the Nimrod name, since it’s also slang for inept person. Even they recognized the wisdom in not changing the restaurant’s name when they bought it. Gordon did his disguise thing, and found the flounder to be funky; the food dull, bland, embarrassing, and atrocious; and no surprise, the owners argued these points. The hidden cameras revealed loads of cross contamination, and the usual cockroaches. The owners were resistant to change, but Gordon convinced them to give one of the staff the new position of running the kitchen. He also persuaded them, as only Gordon can, to stop arguing with the patrons and online reviewers, and not to allow the chef to use the microwave. Before he disappeared into the night, Gordon told them to watch out for 6’2” Scottish guys with beards. Three months later, the business is booming, and the online reviews are great. Next time, Hollywood and a very dysfunctional family. The whole 24-hour thing is really amazing.

🌌 Yep…

EndlessWeek (2)



June 28, 2018 – David Lawyers Up, Polo at Brookland & About Tom


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sam punches the bag at the gym, while Chase holds it. Chase has to get back to the station. Jason comes in, and asks if she needs help. Chase leaves, and Sam asks if he wants her to hold the bag. He does. He needs to punch something.

Drew visits Elizabeth. He says he got the invitation to their wedding in November, and wondered if it was a mistake. Elizabeth says she sent them out early. I’d say so. Drew isn’t so sure he should have been invited.

Ava tells Franco, there’s all kinds of ways; a rowboat on a quiet lake, a drum in a landfill. Franco says that’s a bad idea because of scavengers. She says this is why she needs his help. He thinks of everything.

At Charlie’s, Alexis tells Kiki that she’s going to file the lawsuit, get Francesca’s deposition, and canvas the hospital to see if anyone else has had a problem with David. Kiki says now she’ll be dragging in her coworkers. Alexis says if she’s serious, she has to woman up. Kiki doesn’t want to cause trouble for anyone else. Alexis says she’s not causing trouble. David walks in, and she says, he is. She tells Kiki to keep her eyes on her, and says he had the courage to get it rolling.

Finn calls Anna, and leaves a message. He misses her.

Dante wanders around his apartment. He remembers saving Lulu from drowning. His phone, and he asks, how much time does he have?

Michael tells Nelle once the baby comes, things will get better and they’ll get closer. He asks her to marry him. He suggests they make it official, and become a family.

Lulu comes home, and Dante hopes he didn’t take her away from anything. She’s working on a story, but says it can wait; what’s up? He tells her to sit down, and she asks if someone died. He says, no, and she says he scared her. Dante says it’s something good. There’s been a lead on the location of Rog, the guy who tried to drown her. The WSB is putting together a task force, and he’s going to be part of it. He’s been accepted as a temporary transfer, and he’s leaving tonight.

Nelle doesn’t know what to say, and Michael tells her to say yes. She says, it’s sudden. He says they’ve been through so much, and ever since she got pregnant, they’ve been growing closer. She says she feels that way too, but he’s taken every opportunity to make sure she knows they’re not a couple. Marriage and parenthood don’t always go together. He asks if she’s turning him down.

Sam is glad to see Jason. The last time they met, he was thinking of committing himself to help Carly. He says he came close. He got a job as a custodian at Ferncliff, after Elizabeth gave him a recommendation from GH. Sam says that was smart, and he can keep an eye on Carly. He says it worked great until Doc got him fired.

Elizabeth tells Drew that she thought he supported her relationship with Franco. He says he does, but he’s not sure Franco would want him there. She says he insisted, and Drew teases that she must be the one who didn’t want to invite him. She says she didn’t want to set Franco up for disappointment if Drew turned them down.

Ava makes more suggestions to Franco; something to induce a heart attack, or an untraceable poison. She wonders if Julian still has connections in the chemical industry. Franco says they can’t actually kill David – or can they? Finn comes by, and says Franco likes it bloody, right?

Alexis tells Kiki to ignore David, and she says she’s been doing it for months, and look where it got her. Alexis says she’s filing a lawsuit. Kiki says he thinks he’s already beaten her, but little does he know she’s dragging his butt to court. Alexis thinks it’s time to let him know. She walks over to David, and tells him she’s on her way to the courthouse to file a lawsuit against him. He says, it’s ridiculous. Kiki’s allegations are frivolous and nonexistent. She tells him to lawyer up, and she’ll see him in court.

Finn tells Franco, sorry to interrupt, but he was getting food and thought Franco would like a burger. Franco thanks him, but says he’s not hungry. Finn says he’ll tell Elizabeth he tried. He leaves, and Ava asks why Franco didn’t say yes. They could start a casual conversation about infectious diseases. Franco says they’re not actually doing it. She says they were discussing possibilities, but Franco says they were venting. Ava says, she doesn’t vent; she acts, and David can’t get away with what he’s going to Kiki.

Lulu is shocked that Dante joined the WSB, and he’s leaving. He says it’s a temporary transfer, and she asks why they need him. He tells her that he asked to be included; Rog tried to kill her. She says it was over two years ago. Dante says he was never caught, and he’s got a chance to resolve this. Lulu would rather he got away than have Dante leave. Dante says he’s trafficking military grade weapons. If they can get him, there’s a chance to shut down a pipeline of illegal weapons. She doesn’t see why he has to be part of it.

Franco tells Ava that he recently went through his own personal hell, and doesn’t want to do it again, so he’s avoiding things like planning a murder. Kiki will have her day in court, and Alexis is representing her. Ava says less than 10% of these cases go to trial, and even fewer are successful. The odds are that he’ll be out there harassing women again in no time. What if his next victim is more vulnerable, and can’t stand up and fight back? She tells Franco to stop waffling and agree to help.

At the hospital, David sees Scotty, and asks if he isn’t an attorney. He needs to be vindicated, and the process, can make them very rich men.

Alexis tells Kiki, that was fun. David is probably on the phone right now, getting counsel. She tells Kiki to be ready for the onslaught. Kiki says, no turning back, and leaves. Alexis says, one lousy man down, a bunch more to go. Finn walks in.

Sam says Carly was going to Doc for therapy, and he seems like a good guy. She’s never heard anything bad about him. Jason says Doc thought he was protecting Carly. He was afraid Jason would be recognized, and it would come out that he knew him. He didn’t want to be taken off the case or the staff at Ferncliff. Sam kind of agrees. She thinks Carly needs a doctor on her side. Jason says he understands – if it was anybody but Carly. He didn’t just go to watch out for her; he went to talk her down.

Michael asks if Nelle doesn’t want a loving, stable home with both parents for their baby. She says, of course, but a lot of people co-parent without getting married. She doesn’t want to get married just because they’re having a child; those marriages are doomed. He says what if it’s more than that. It took Chase’s threat to open his eyes. They had something real once; it’s the reason they’re having a child. Maybe they can get it back. She asks if he’s saying he feels the same way she does. Does he still love her?

Dante tells Lulu that he’s good at undercover work. Rog has never seen him, and knows nothing about him. He can work for the security firm that’s Rog’s front. Lulu says he can do a couple of jobs and get in contact, and Dante says, that’s sort of the plan. She tells him that he’s not just risking his life; he’s risking the life of her husband, and Rocco and Charlotte’s father. Dante says he does it every day; it’s part of his job. She says, this is different, and he says, he knows.

Sam knows Ferncliff is horrible, but Carly knows he and Sonny are working to get her out. She just has to wait. Jason says when Carly panics, she does the wrong thing. It’s bad in there. She’s in a maximum-security wing, where the other patients are sick and dangerous. The supervising nurse is watching her, and trying to over-medicate her. Sooner or later, Carly is going to want to fight back. Ferncliff is designed to break you down, until all that’s left is instinct. Carly will come out swinging, and it won’t work. He can’t let that happen.

Elizabeth asks if Drew is there to decline the invitation, but he wanted to make sure Franco knew he was being invited. He doesn’t want to ruin the celebration. Elizabeth asks how he would do that, and Drew says he could be a reminder of the worst thing tat ever happened to Franco.

David tells Scotty that GH exonerated him, but no steps have been taken to clear his name. The piece Lulu published was filled with Kiki’s accusations. He’s suffered grievous damage as a result. Scotty says he’s done his homework; that’s the money word. He can sue Kiki, GH, and the Port Charles Press. That’s where the money is.

Franco says he thought Ava had a man in her life. When did he become her go-to? She says Griff cares very much, and he’s furious, but he’s not kind of guy who has it in him to do what needs to be done. Franco thinks she’s worried Griff will find out what she’s capable of doing. He wants to do right by Elizabeth, and doesn’t want to get involved. Murder is drastic, and he thinks they should reconvene after they see what the trial brings. Ava asks what if the law fails? He says if the law fails Kiki, they won’t.

Finn tells Alexis, it’s been a while. He keeps thinking he’ll see her at a meeting. She says she changed her schedule. He hopes it’s not because of him, and hopes that wasn’t as egotistical as it sounded. She says it’s because of work, but if she’s being honest, she’s still a bit mad at him.

Nelle asks again if Michael still loves her. He says he was afraid, and listening to others instead of his heart. He’s not doing that anymore. He’s always known they belonged together, and never stopped loving her. He kisses her, and she says she’ll marry him.

Dante tells Lulu that he’s not forgetting her, their kids, or the life they have, but arms dealers bring misery and death to millions of people. This is a way to make a change. Lulu suggests someone else can do it, but he says that’s the definition of apathy. It’s not why he became a cop and she became a journalist. She’s surprised he’s suddenly supporting her career. He says maybe he understands how. If you can make a change, you have to do it. It’s what they’re trying to teach their kids, and they should lead by example. She says it’s happening fast, and asks how much time they have for a proper goodbye. He says, long enough, so take from that what you will. They kiss.

Drew tells Elizabeth it’s no secret that the wedding is the most important thing in Franco’s life. He doesn’t want to be the dark cloud. She says he must really care about Franco. Franco cares about him too. She thinks he considers Drew one of his friends, but he’s waiting to see if Drew shows up before asking him to hang out. She tells Drew not to tell him about their conversation. Drew gets it; you have to take care of friends.

Jason tells Sam there are few leads. If Doc declares Carly sane, she can get out, but it takes time. Sam asks what if he can’t find evidence, and he says he’ll break her out. He had had time to study Ferncliff, and it’s an easy in and out. Sam says they’ll be fugitives. He says they’ll go to Canada, and let the lawyers figure it out. She doesn’t think Carly would leave her family, and if they get caught, Jason will go to Pentonville, and Carly will go back to Ferncliff. Then what? If Carly isn’t going to think, he’ll have to do it for her. Running will just make it worse. He says he has to prove she’s innocent.

Ava tells Franco that her way is more expedient, and he says he’s learning to delay gratification, and not let things lead to a trial afterward. Scotty comes by, and tells them David asked him to represent him in a countersuit. Franco says, he refused, right?

Finn tells Alexis that she’s one of the most politely enraged people he’s ever met. She says cynicism is her specialty, but it’s a way of masking pain. It’s the pain part she’s not good at. She’s realized she doesn’t know much, but needs to figure out why she does what she does. Finn says she didn’t do anything; he did. She asks if he’s making this about him. It’s about her choosing the wrong men, and the wrong men being drawn to her. That part is about him, since he’s one of them.

Chase goes to Dante’s place. Dante tells him that he’s leaving on a special assignment, and asks him to look after Michael. He’s not sure he trusts Chase completely though. He had it bad for Nelle, and was on the verge of throwing away his career. Chase says she got away because he screwed up. He’s not letting her do it again, to Michael or anyone else. Dante says he’ll have to trust him, calling him partner. Chase says, safe travels, partner, and they shake hands.

Alexis tells Finn that she had no business getting into a relationship with him. She wasn’t ready, and he clearly was pining for another woman. She’s now becoming aware of a pattern, and she’s trying to change it. She thanks him for being a jerk. He says she’s welcome.

Ava says Scotty couldn’t pass it up when he saw an opportunity for himself. Scotty says he turned David down. At first he agreed, but he gave it some thought, and then told him to go fly a kite. He’s a good father and a good friend, so thank you very much. Ava and Franco exchange looks. Ava smiles, and Scotty says, what?

Sam asks what kind of evidence Jason is looking for. He says the scarf, for one thing. She tells him that Nelle probably got rid of it, but he says he can find out where she bought in the first place. The break-in at Bobbie’s will be harder to prove; Nelle is good at covering her tracks. If he could find the bottle of cologne that was sprayed at Morgan’s gravesite, it would be something. He tells her that Nelle led Carly there by leaving a note on the back of a flyer, but when Chase saw it, the note was blank. Sam says, disappearing ink. Jason agrees, since there’s no way Nelle had time to switch it out. She asks if he’s sure Chase found the flyer, and Jason says he testified at the trial. She wonders what happened to it, but Jason doesn’t know, and Sonny has no idea. Sam says she might.

Elizabeth asks Drew if there’s been any word on Peter. He says, no, and she says he’s not going through the procedure with Andre, is he? He says he decided to move forward. Elizabeth is glad, and says a lot of people love him. He doesn’t like Jason’s memories banging around in his head, but she tells him to make memories of his own. He doesn’t need to carry the burden of Jason’s past.

There’s a breaking story that couldn’t wait ten minutes. I only miss a few minutes, and I know we’ll all figure it out. Just fill in the blank with Magic Milo if all else fails.

At the station, Michael tells Chase that he and Nelle were hoping Dante could help them with a marriage license, and speed along the process. Chase says it seems sudden. Michael says it was spur of the moment. Nelle says they were talking about the future and unfinished business. Michael says they decided to finish it together.

Scotty asks what Ava and Franco are suggesting; that he take on David, and then take a dive with the case? Ava says if he wins, David gets a chance at the next victim. His greatest win can be a loss. She’s willing to compensate him at double his rate.

Alexis promises not to ambush Finn again. He’s glad to help her clarify things, and asks if she’s still angry. She says, consumed, but not at him. He’s looking forward to the day when she’s not calling him Dr. Finn.

On the phone, David says he has a time sensitive issue that needs addressing. In the meantime, he’ll contact other lawyers. Scotty approaches him, and says good news. It turns out he has an opening. David says, that quickly? He was under the impression Scotty didn’t care for him. Scotty says he doesn’t have to like him. He’s being paid to defend him. He suggests they talk about strategy.

Elizabeth tells Drew that he doesn’t have to own mistakes that aren’t his; let them go. Drew knows a lot of stuff that can get Jason locked up. Elizabeth says Jason should be thankful he’s not that kind of guy.

On the phone, Sam thanks Sergeant somebody. She tells Jason, jackpot. When Chase answered the call about Carly being in the cemetery, there was one piece of evidence – the flyer. If it’s the same one, Spinelli should be able to make the message reappear. Jason says he has to get his hands on the flyer, but Sam says, not you; us.

Tomorrow, Maxie’s shower, Sam tells Jason it’s like old times, and Carly asks Doc if he got Jason fired.

Southern Charm

FYI Patricia’s cardigan from last week’s episode is by Dolce and Gabbana. In other words, I can’t afford it.

Craig works on some patriotic patterns. He asks Sean for help. In his interview, he says if Patricia had given him one more night, she’d have a bad-ass pillow concept, but it was a matter of principal. No. One night would have led to one more night and so on, and she knew it.

Cameran visits Shep. She likes his new décor He’s trying to make meatballs, and puts on an apron that has a graphic of a bodybuilder’s body. Cameran asks if he’s drunk, but he says he’s overwhelmed. In her interview, Cameran feels guilty to be out without Palmer, but she has to manage being a mother with her life, since babies are parasites and you’re their personal assistant. She thinks Shep should start over, and has to tell him not to touch things after touching raw meat. He says his mother has always done everything for him. Cameran thought she was useless in the kitchen, but at least she can read a recipe. She asks about Craig, and Shep says he made out with a chick at the bar. Austen had to beg him to kiss him to kiss her. Cameran says, Craig is such a girl. She says Shep can cook these for date, and he says if he wants to get rid of her. She tells him if relationships aren’t important, don’t rush it. He asks if he can just marry Kathryn.

Thomas is coming over to Patricia’s, so she warns Michael. What the hell? Her pen looks like a flamingo. She’s always full of surprises. Thomas arrives, and asks for Hamptons Gatorade aka rosé. Patricia is having a winter wonderland ball, and it’s going to be black tie. She’s counting on Thomas on the dance floor. He hopes his foot is healed from polo. He’s having one last hurrah this weekend. In his interview, he says he has the kids now, and can’t afford to get injured. Like anything else in life, when you get something, you have to give something back. 

Patricia thinks Ashley is having a hard time, and tells Thomas about her visit. He thinks there’s unevenness in the relationship, and resentment on both their parts. She could level the playing field by working, and focus on something other than him. Patricia says she told Ashley the same thing. Thomas says when he asked why she loved him, she said he was a good provider. Patricia says that translates into, he’s got money. In her interview, Patricia says, no job, no interests, no friends, and is just hanging out in an apartment paid for by Thomas. The word that comes to mind, is gold-digger. Thomas isn’t sure if this is what he wants, and she tells him to make a commitment or cut Ashley loose. Bring me the scissors.

Shep meets Kathryn on the pier. He’s gotten corndogs for them, and a bird almost steals Shep’s. He was sorry to hear about last week, and Kathryn says everyone thought she’d fallen off the wagon. It’s everyone’s go-to, and it’s not a problem, but it’s her label now. She explains she stopped taking her meds because she thought she didn’t need them. Shep says she’s doing well, and next time, just give them a heads up. He says everyone loves her. She gets weepy, and he hugs her. She says she stopped feeling that she could bring anything worthy to a relationship or friendship. Shep says if she had a batting average, she’d be hall of fame material.

Shep asks if Kathryn is going to the polo match, and she calls it Thomas’s final ride. She says she lived in the basement of Brookland Plantation for a year with Kensie. In her interview, she says it was a lonely time, and she thinks her depression started then. Thomas thought she would magically become the perfect companion and mother. We flash back to him complaining about dinner. She was twenty-two, with no family or friends, and cried on a daily basis. She tells Shep that she’s afraid she’ll feel emotional. She’s doing well, but still feels the weight of what happened. Shep says if she gets anxious, come sit with him in the corner, and they can make fun of everyone.

Chelsea and Austen meet for drinks. They do oyster shots. Chelsea thinks they smell horrible, but then says it tasted fantastic, and asks for another. Austen tells her about his tiff with Victoria, and how she threw a drink at him because he told her about hugging Chelsea. Chelsea asks if Austen would be okay with Victoria hanging out with an ex. He says it’s too early in the relationship for fights, so he’s done. He asks how she’s dealing with dating, but Chelsea says she’s at good and safe place, and it’s what she wants right now. In his interview, Austen is relieved it’s not him. She tells him that he’s one of her best friends, and he says he feels the same way. They get a plate of oysters, and Chelsea asks if they should go to the dance together. She means Patricia’s ball, but it sounds like high school. He wonders if she’s asking him out, but she says, no, nope, no.

Naomie and Chelsea go shopping. Naomie brings along Rocky the kitten, who she rescued on the way there. Rocky has some kind of back leg issue, and is wearing a diaper. And yes, Rocky is very cute. Chelsea asks if the polo match requires Kentucky Derby attire, but Naomie says, no, because it’s cold. They discuss being worried about Kathryn going, but Chelsea says Kathryn has them. She tries on clothes, while Naomie plays with Rocky, who tries to nurse on her.

Thomas takes Ashley to the plantation. She wishes they spent more time there, but thinks it’s boring for him. In his interview, Thomas says he wanted a companion and a best friend, but it’s different now. He feels like women are attracted to him for the wrong reasons. He thought fortune and fame would attract the right kind of woman, but he had it backwards. They check out the barn and horses. Thomas says he gets a rush out of playing polo. It’s going to be difficult to give it up, but he needs to, now that he has the kids.

Ashley says it will be fun to see him play. She talks about how beautiful the plantation is. It would be great for parties, and perfect for a wedding, because she just can’t stop herself. Thomas says he sees her as a wonderful person with a wonderful career. It’s one of the reasons he brought her here, but the way it’s going, he feels like a sugar daddy. Ashley says she wants it to succeed, Thomas says, he does too, but the energy needs to change. She’s insecure because she depends on him, and it puts her in a subservient position. Getting a job and being self-sufficient will change the energy. She says he’s telling her like she never worked before, when all she did was hustle. A nurse works holidays and weekends, and he might not like it. He’ll still be raging, but she won’t be chasing after him. He needs to change too. He says she needs to be independent, because it’s a good thing to do. Sorry, if she doesn’t want to work. He says, maybe they shouldn’t do this, if she thinks he’s such a such terrible person. She says, if she’s a terrible person. He says maybe they should call it quits.

Polo announcer Buck says you usually leave polo two ways; dead or broke. It’s miraculous not to break any bones. In his interview, Thomas is surprised the government allows it. It’s an extremely dangerous sport.

Danni and Kathryn get ready together. Kathryn wants Danni to wear a red hat, and Danni calls herself vanilla. Kathryn is glad they had a sleepover. She thinks it will be intense. She’s removed herself from the feelings, but being at Brookland will bring back memories. In her interview, Kathryn says she thought it was the dream; she and Thomas in love on the plantation. It was literally a figment of her imagination. Omg, she looks amazing. She’s wearing a vintage Victorian style button-up black velvet coat, with a military ribbon kind of pin.

Shep asks Craig why he’s not wearing undershirts, and if it’s a laundry issue, but Craig says he doesn’t know what to wear. Everyone starts to trickle in. Shep finds out Austen and Chelsea are going to the Winter Wonderland ball together. Chelsea asks who Shep is taking, and he tells her Kathryn. We flash back to Kathryn telling Shep, when the invitation from Patricia came, she thought she was being served. Shep thinks maybe Patricia has come to the understanding that this Kathryn isn’t the same one she knew. We see a clip of Shep promoting the new Kathryn to Whitney and Patricia, telling them how much she helped him after his surgery.

Thomas and the other players get ready. Shep waves to Thomas, and Ashley says he’s acknowledging Shep, but not her. She tells Shep things are not happy. Her voice is hoarse, and she says it’s because of stress, and she has stress related anxiety. Thomas is all she has. She’s alone and isolated, and doesn’t want to waste her time. Shep, who looks like he wants to disappear, says maybe she should think about that. She asks if Shep would date her if she broke up with Thomas. In his interview, Shep just chokes. He tells her he’s not a good safe bet. She thought it would be a good reason to stay in South Carolina.

JD (bleh) arrives. Ashley is happy to see him. Kathryn and Danni are next. Kathryn tells Danni it’s weird. Thomas lets Kathryn know they’re winning, and the team is undefeated. She thanks him for having them. She shows Danni where she and Kensie lived. She says she remembers the smell of the barn, and how the screen door sounded. Nothing has changed. Kathryn makes the rounds, and Ashley tells no one in particular that she doesn’t want to effing talk to her. I’m sure it’s mutual.

Kathryn tells Chelsea it’s the first time she’s been there since the break-up. She doesn’t know if she feels good or sad. Chelsea says, life is weird. JD asks Ashley how the relations is going. She says they argue too much, and when she talks to his dad, he always mentions that she’s still there. Chelsea suggests Craig and Naomie go to the ball together. Naomie asks if Craig wants to, and he says they’d have to talk. Chelsea tells him to quit being the p-word. In his interview, Austen says it’s an easy lie to avoid. Just tell her he’s bringing someone else. Craig says it’s different for them, since he thought they were getting married.

JD tells Ashley to applaud, and she asks if the match is over. JD says she was busy socializing, but it was good polo. They go to another area for a buffet picnic, featuring oysters on the lawn. Shep likes a change of venue. Kathryn says it’s weirding her out that she’s not even sad. It’s the place she thought she’d have a nuclear family, but she’s at peace with it. She says she never thought she would get over Thomas, and it’s good closure. She sees a fountain, and says that’s where Kensie was christened. We flash back to that. Everyone drinks and chows down.

Craig says Thomas looks like a Jersey mafia boss. Okay. If he says so. Craig tells Thomas there’s nothing wrong with Ashley not working, but there has to be resentment. Thomas says Ashley will get mad about something, and he thinks he just bought her twenty-grand worth of clothes. Craig decides to tell Thomas something Ashley said to him. She told him if he was only a few years older, she would be dating him. He wonders if she really meant wealthier and more established. JD says it’s hard to have a relationship with someone who’s constantly talking about a back-up plan. Craig says he knew he and Naomie were in trouble when he stopped feeling happy to see her car in the driveway. He asks how Thomas feels, and Thomas says he looks forward. He’s smart enough not to be looking up, while he’s walking through a cow field. I guess this is some kind of Southern wisdom that I don’t get.

Kathryn tells Thomas he did a good job, and they sit together. Ashley babbles to the ladies that Thomas goes for opinionated women, and she’s an alpha female. She says Kathryn is a scary one. Thomas tells Kathryn that the relationship is stressful. She says sometimes they don’t work out. They didn’t work out, but they did okay. He says he doesn’t have much success in his personal life. Kathryn says she can see where there’s a pattern. He’s a person who wants to get along with everyone, and needs to protect himself more. Things get over-complicated, but at the end of the day, it’s simple; there doesn’t have to be drama. She points out that Ashley is upset watching them talk. Thomas sagely says, you can please some people some of the time, but you can’t please everyone, adding a few other bon mots, like, to thine own self be true. He quotes a lot when he’s around Kathryn. Is she the only other one who reads? She asks if he feels like she’s less of a psycho now, since he’s dated Ashley, and they laugh. She says she’s there if he wants to talk.

When everyone is gone. Thomas and Ashley sit inside. Thomas says he didn’t get any oysters, and Ashley says she didn’t get to say goodbye to everyone. She asks how his conversation with Kathryn went, and he says it was calm and peaceful. She says she talked to Shep and JD, and everyone seems to ask how it’s going with the relationship. He asks what she told them, and she says they’re taking it day by day. She can’t pretend it’s wonderful. She wants it to get better, but with the arguments, she doesn’t know what else to do. Thomas says it’s not what he wants, and if he can’t be true to himself, he can’t be true to her or anyone else. Ashley says even if it ended right now, she’d do it over. She’s learned a lot about herself. Ha-ha! I’d almost feel sorry about her desperation if she wasn’t so mean. She says he was there for her, and she doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to throw in the towel after investing so much. She loves him, and has more fight in her. She wants to say she tried, and he has the opportunity to give that to her. Thomas asks if she wants to continue. She says she has hope. Me too. That he dumps her and we never see her flip her hair again.

Next time, the season finale, Kathryn gets an Instagram message that Ashley was a high-end escort (frankly, I don’t think she’s refined enough), the Winter Wonderland ball happens, Craig apologizes to Naomie, Ashley threatens Kathryn, and calls her an egg donor.

🎃 Halloween a la The Countess…

Tonight, on Watch What Happens Live, we saw Elizabeth Perkins’s dedication to LuAnn on Halloween. I literally LOL’d.
















June 28, 2018 – The Knocking Continues, the Spa Trip Comes to an End, Gumballs on the Mediterranean, Two Kinds of Chefs & It’s Late


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny tells Carly that Doc let him in. She needs to stay strong, and do whatever she needs to make sure Doc releases her. Rupert comes in and says Carly has been breaking the rules, and knows what happens now. Sonny asks his name. Carly answers and he says, great name, and asks Rupert for a chat outside.

Chase sees Nelle at Kelly’s. He tells her not to leave on his account. She says she has nothing to say to him, but he says he has plenty to say to her. He flashes back to being in the cemetery with Carly, and asks what perfume she’s wearing. She says she’s not, but he remembers the same scent when saw Carly at her son’s grave.

Kim asks Julian what gives; why so attentive? He’s paying her back for making his maiden voyage to the great outdoors. It was a memorable experience neither one of them will forget any time soon – or ever. Kim says she finds his vow to take her somewhere to enjoy room service was memorable. Julian says there won’t be any crawling things, and she asks where his sense of adventure is. Alexis comes in, and Julian says maybe he should ask her. Alexis tells Julian she has something to give him.

There are new signs up at the hospital about harassment. Elizabeth tells Franco that they just employed a zero-tolerance policy, and he says, too bad it’s too late to help Kiki. Francesca looks at the sign. Michael comes by, and she says he’s on the board, right? She thinks there’s something he should know. Kiki watches.

Griff punches the bag at the gym and thinks of being in bed with Kiki. He punches harder. Ava come in, saying she thought she’d find him there. She knows exactly what he needs.

Alexis appreciates Julian coming to therapy. He says he was happy to oblige, but she says, no, he wasn’t, which is why it was even more impressive. She gives him an envelope, and he asks if she’s serving him with a subpoena, but it’s a deed to her house. She says he bought it for her. Call it closure or payback, but the house is his.

Franco wonders why David is still there, walking the halls in his scholarly spectacles. Elizabeth says he hasn’t been accused by name; then, he will. The men who violated them are dead and in the past. They’ve chosen not to be victims, and so has Kiki, but if the truth comes out, they’ll deal with it. He says, as long as Kiki believes that.

Francesca says something to Michael about their date, then jets. He asks Kiki what that was about.

Griff tells Ava that he comes there to stop thinking; it helps clear his head. She tells him, nice try. She knows he’s worried about Kiki. She can’t tell him how much it means knowing how much he cares. He admits Kiki has been on his mind a lot lately. Ava says, how dare David harass her daughter? Griff says she has every right to be angry, but Kiki can fight her own battles. Ava knows Kiki’s way is the high road, but it’s time consuming. Griff has to get to the hospital, and she says, her too. She’s lucky to have him. Left to her own devices, who knows what she’d do?

Nelle tells Chase that a guy was just there, wearing a gallon of cologne. She says maybe if he’d helped Carly sooner, Carly wouldn’t have pushed her. At least she’s getting help now. Chase says she’s in a state institution, and Zack’s death was never paid for. Nelle says his family was out for blood, and he was out to prove she was innocent. He says that was before he knew she was an expert swimmer, and manipulated him into thinking he was someone special to her. She says she was innocent until he got her into bed, then she was a murderer. He says someone called the department, accusing him of inappropriate behavior. He knows she’s sure she dodged a bullet, but she thought wrong.

Sonny tells Rupert that he can give him a small gratuity for a few minutes with his wife. He’d consider it a personal favor if Rupert looks after her. Rupert says no one will mess with her, and Sonny says including the nurse he’s been hearing about. If Rupert does this for him, he’ll return the favor. He slips Rupert some cash, and Rupert agrees.

Back in Carly’s room, Sonny asks, where were we? They kiss, and she tells him, nice work.

Kiki ask Michael if he and Francesca are friends. He says they dated for forty minutes, and she says, a record. He asks how she’s doing, and she says she’s getting the gamut of reactions. Some people thinks she’s brave; some think she’s lying. She tells him to read the comments, but he says never do that. She says she’ll remember that moving forward. Looking at the sign, he says, thanks to her, predators are on notice – literally. It was incredibly brave to step forward. She thanks him, but says if she can’t prove it, she’ll be the girl who cried wolf, and David will keep doing what he’s doing. Michael is sure she’ll win. Francesca overhears.

Carly is concerned that Nelle has a clear path to Michael. Sonny says their only goal is to get her out. She says there’s no telling what Nelle can do to him; warn him to stay away from her. Sonny promises he will. She knows Josslyn feels responsible. She wants Sonny to tell her not to be, and that she loves her. Sonny says she knows; that’s why it’s eating her up. She asks about Mike. (Where’s Mike? We haven’t seen him in a while.) Sonny doesn’t know where to start. She says not to make the mistake she did. Don’t be afraid share everything with her.

Inside the envelope is the deed to Alexis’s house. He understands there are bad memories there, but she’s overcome them. She says she hasn’t overcome anything yet; she’s a work in progress. He thinks she’s winning. He’s sorry the good memories they tried to build were spoiled. She says whatever she’s going through, it’s not entirely about them; its about her. She needs to unravel a lot. He asks about the watch, and she explains her father gave it to her mother, and Valentin passed it on to her. She’s hoping Mikkos gave it out of love, but maybe it was to hold onto her. Julian says, like he’s been trying to hold on to their relationship.

Francesca approaches Kiki. She admires Kiki for being brave enough to do the right thing. Not everyone can. Kiki says it’s not easy. If Francesca chooses not come forward, she understands. It’s her life, and she has to live with her choices; it’s not an easy one. She tells Francesca to do what feels right for her, and Francesca says she’s going to.

Nelle asks Chase if this is why he came to Port Charles; to dredge up the past, and something that wasn’t her fault. He tells her that he came for a job, but when he found out she was there, he wanted to prove her guilty. She says the conversation is stressful, and starts to get up. He says that’s how he felt until he saw her. He tried to get her out of his head, and then got a visit from her baby daddy, telling him to back off. She says he’s still here. He asks why she’s there? She doesn’t belong with them. She asks why? Because they’re rich and she’s trash? He says she’s pregnant with Michael’s baby, and he still hasn’t put a ring on it. If he hasn’t by now, he never will. She tells him, playing good and bad cop at the same time doesn’t work. Pick one and make peace with it. He says she won’t fit or be happy here. She asks if she should settle for no-tell motels with rookie cops. He says at least they’re alike. She’s not the same as Michael. He touches her hand, and Michael walks in. Nelle tells Chase to let her go.

Sonny tells Carly to do everything to prove to Doc that she doesn’t belong there, and they’ll do everything to prove she was set up. She asks if he believes Nelle set her up.

Alexis tells Julian she keeps going back and forth about getting rid of the watch. He gets that she wants to cut the cord from the past, as well as the mistakes they’ve made, but don’t confuse the way things began with how they ended. He says, if someone saw them, they would think they were friends. He tells her to keep the house as a reminder of his good intentions, and the watch as a reminder of what not to do. She says he’s convinced her. Her phone wings, and she steps aside. Kiki asks to meet her, and says she’ll come to Charlie’s.

At the hospital, Ava asks if Elizabeth has seen Kiki. Elizabeth asks if Ava wants her to page Kiki, but Ava says Kiki would have her head. She looks at the sign, and says, speaking of heads rolling, was that the result of Kiki’s whistle blowing? Elizabeth says she started a chain that will make life better for all of them. Franco says, except for that skeezy doctor. Elizabeth says he’ll get what’s coming to him. Franco asks if Ava wants coffee, and they leave. Elizabeth gets a message, and tells Griff it’s from someone she never thought she’d hear from again.

Nelle tells Michael that Chase is refusing to let the past be in the past. That’s why he sent her that T-shirt. Chase says he didn’t send her anything, and she asks if he’s denying the note too. Chase hopes Michael isn’t buying it. Michael tells Chase to save it. He thinks some rest for Nelle is in order, and Nele wants to get away from Chase. As they leave, Chase tells Michael that he didn’t send the shirt, and Michael might want to ask himself, who did?

Sonny tells Carly when she was at the grave the same day Mike and Avery were missing, he thought she’d lost touch with reality; that her grief had gotten to her. She thought she was either losing her mind, or something supernatural was happening. Now she knows it was Nelle. Sonny says, she did a helluva job, but once Carly was in jail, it all ended. Carly says out of everything Nelle did, the worst thing was making her think her son was alive. Sonny says, when she’s out of here and the baby is safe, Nelle is going to pay. He promises that.

Julian sits with Kim, and asks if she’s curious. She says, of course, and he tells her that they were just following up on the session. She asks what about the reasons he shouldn’t go; rehashing old grievances, nursing old wounds, being stuck in the past? He says he realized wasn’t about him

Kiki meets Alexis. She wants to go ahead with the suit. Alexis says she’ll file the paperwork. Kiki says she understands that there’s no chance of proof unless someone comes forward. Someone has. Francesca joins them.

At Kelly’s, Ava asks Franco if the doctors are picking sides. He says some, in the good old boy network, but there have to be some who feel the way Griff does. He says, the predator has to go, and Ava says, the predator has a name. She knows it; so does. He asks what they’re going to do.

Michael tells Nelle to lie down and get some rest. She still can’t believe Chase denied sending the shirt. It would be sad if it wasn’t scary. She thinks he came to Port Charles to hound her about Zack, and threaten her. He said it was crazy for her to think she belonged with people like him and his family. Michael says he’s getting a restraining order, but Nelle says it won’t change anything. Besides, he’s right. She walks out

Rupert tells Sonny it’s time. Sonny thanks him, and says he’s a good man. He says in the meantime, Rupert is going to take care of Carly, right? Rupert says, yes sir. When Rupert steps out of earshot, Carly thanks Sonny for solving the Rupert problem. She wishes he could do the same with Mary Pat. He says he’ll think of something. In the meantime (phrase of the day), stay strong. She says she can do anything now that she knows he believes her. They hug, and she says tell the kids she loves them.

Kim asks Julian how it was, and he says a nightmare. His prediction almost came true, but he stuck with it. Kim says he guilty, hence the free coffee. He says maybe he was making amends a little. She tells him she needs no explanations or apologies, and he says she can pay him then. She asks if he’ll take it in trade. He asks how about him finishing where they’re going for room service, and gives her a folder. She says, Florence?

Francesca tells Alexis that David would call her into his office, saying he needed help with something. He touched her in innocent places at first; her arm, her shoulder, her hair. Then he kissed her. When she resisted, he told she’d misunderstood, and it would be a shame if the others knew she wasn’t a team player. So, she let him do things. She let him touch and kiss her, and eventually gave in, and had sex with him. Kiki says she knows how hard this is. Francesca asks if it matters that she consented; will it hurt the case? Alexis asks if she was coerced, and Francesca says, absolutely. He didn’t use physical force, but used his position as her superior to make her do something she didn’t want to. Alexis says, capitulating is different from consent. She asks how long it went on, and Francesca says, for months, but once she did it, he stopped. She was relieved, but then sickened when she realized he must have moved on to someone else. Alexis asks if she’s willing to say it in court, and Francesca says, every word. She’s’ ready. Kiki takes her hand, and Francesca says, let’s do this. Alexis says she needs to know something first.

Ava tells Franco that she’s livid at the thought of David putting his hands on their Kiki, and threatening to kill her career if she doesn’t give him what he wants. Franco asks if she ever wishes the old Ava was back. She says, a little; and him? He says, yeah. Sometimes he wishes he as his old self, but he’s happier now. He’s made commitments, and he’s not going there. Elizabeth is right; Kiki is doing it the right way. Ava tells him, that’s what Griff says. However, hypothetically, what if the right way doesn’t work?

Elizabeth tells Griff, when truth comes out, Kiki will be vindicated, and David discredited. He says the other side has deep pockets, and won’t give up without a fight. She hates how David hides behind his stethoscope, and acts like Kiki asked for it. She wonders what if what they’re doing isn’t enough

Carly’s neighbor knocks on the wall. Carly says she doesn’t know Morse code. She remembers she has a phone, and wonders if there’s an app for that.

At the Quartermaine’s, Sonny tells Michael that Carly is hanging in there, but every day is one too many.  She said he should stay away from Nelle. Michael says that’s not possible, and Sonny says, she’s dangerous. Look at what she did to his mom. He says Jason already told him, but it’s on him to fix. He ignored the warnings, and got involved. Now his mom is in Ferncliff, and his baby has a psycho for a mom. He has to make right. Sonny tells him to be careful, and Michael says his eyes are open. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Sonny says, he’s better, and leaves. Nelle comes down, and says she thought she heard someone. Michael says it was Sonny with an update on his mom. Nelle hopes she’s doing better. She’s worried Michael is going to believe the terrible things Chase said. Michael says, he believes in her.

Julian tells Kim to think about it; exploring the villages, wine in the vineyards, dining under the stars. She can’t wait.

Alexis tells Francesca and Kiki that the other side will dredge up whatever they can find to discredit them. They need to be prepared. Is there anything they need to tell her? Kiki says if she thinks of anything, she’ll let Alexis know, and Francesca says, her too. Alexis says in the meantime, David will be counting on their silence. Francesca says if they stay silent, he’ll move on to his next target. She’s ready. Alexis is proud of them. She’s going ahead, full speed. She’s going to sue his sorry ass back to the stone age where he belongs.

Griff thinks Alexis will bring the fire and fury, but Elizabeth says, it’s going to get ugly. He hopes they’re ready for that. She asks if he’s ready for Ava. If she sees her daughter under attack, her claws will come out. The worst thing is for her to take matters into her own hands.

Ava says she’s willing to wait. They’re two peaceful law-abiding citizens having coffee. She hopes Kiki gets the justice she deserves. If not, then David will get the justice he deserves. They clink coffee cups.

Carly hears more knocking. She looks it up. It’s SOS. Geez, don’t we all know that one?

Chase punches the bag at the gym. Sonny asks what the bag has done to him. Chase asks if he got in to see Carly. He knows Dante pulled some strings. Sonny asks if he objects, but Chase says he’s going to help get her out. They’re on the same side. He punches some more.

Nelle asks Michael, after everything Chase said, how can he believe in her. He says, why does he care what Chase has to say? Nelle says he thinks she doesn’t belong with him. One of these things is not like the others, and it’s her. Michael says, once the baby comes, things will get better; they’ll get closer. He says, why wait? Let’s get married.

Tomorrow, Finn misses Anna, Ava asks Franco to help, Alexis tells David to lawyer up, and Sam tells Jason to think for Carly.

The Real Housewives of New York City

At the spa, some of the ladies do yoga. Carole tells Dorinda that the photo has become a big deal. She thinks Ramona didn’t realize what she was posting. LuAnn joins the yoga group, saying the she-devil strikes again, invading her privacy. Now the whole world knows she’s out of rehab. She’s trying to be in her chill zone, and not let it affect her.

Carole hunts for the pool. Tinsley and Dorinda think wine is in order. Tinsley explains that Sonja is sensitive to her ex-husband’s legacy. In her interview, Dorinda says Sonja has to understand that her daughter is a Morgan; not her. Dorinda thinks she should stay in her own legacy lane. Bethenny asks if LuAnn wants her to call her publicist to help. LuAnn didn’t do anything wrong, so she wants to help her. Ramona tells Dorinda and Sonja that they always post group shots. Dorinda asks if alcohol was in the picture, but Sonja says LuAnn hasn’t even told her family yet. They look at the picture, and there’s no wine on the table.

LuAnn tells Dorinda that she has a court case coming up, there were drinks at the table, and she doesn’t need it. Dorinda says the glasses were empty, but LuAnn doesn’t need the press taking guesses about what she’s up to. Bethenny tells LuAnn to look at the crystals on the table, and let it go. In her interview, LuAnn feels like the rug was pulled out from under her. Dorinda doesn’t want it to be awkward between her and Bethenny, but Bethenny doesn’t feel safe with her. Dorinda thought they were past that. She thinks everything is okay, then it isn’t. Bethenny thinks Dorinda has the issue. Dorinda thought they got through it at Bethenny’s party. Bethenny says she’s not upset. There’s an energy going on with her, but it’s okay. In her interview, Bethenny thinks if she and Carole were fine, everyone else would relax. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s an engager, but Bethenny doesn’t engage. Bethenny tells Dorinda that she’s trying to be productive, and doesn’t want to get in a bad spot.

LuAnn and Tinsley get massages. Tinsley has a hard time relaxing when someone is telling her to, and she’s naked. LuAnn tells Tinsley that she’s not doing too bad. Now that she’s stopped drinking, her skin is better.

Ramona and Sonja also get massages. Ramona babbles about the kids, and wanting to live another forty years. Sonja sees them looking good for martinis at the diner in their old age, and I want to know what diner serves martinis. Tinsley and Carole find the tennis court. Tinsley says Scott is coming back soon. They find a maze, and Tinsley says it’s like The Shining. The gate closes by itself behind them, and they jump. Carole says Adam sent her an email, and she texted back that she was super busy, but promised to reach out. He said he hopes sooner than later. In her interview, Carole says she has better boundaries than Adam, and wants to focus on work. Carole doesn’t think everyone is as relaxed as she is. Tinsley says, no more couples’ massages. She’s saving that for Scott.

Bethenny tells LuAnn they’ve never been on a trip without partying every night. She asks if LuAnn is nervous about going back into the jungle. LuAnn feels better equipped now. She’s going to AA meetings, and doesn’t feel so alone.

Carole hopes LuAnn is okay about the picture. Tinsley says she seems more relaxed, and Carole says she’s more self-aware. In her interview, Carole says she wants to go to rehab; it sounds like heaven. I know what she means. There’s a late-night ad here for a local one that looks fabulous and relaxing. I keep wondering how I can lie my way in. Tinsley tells Carole about trying on wedding dresses just for fun. Oddly, Carole gets it. Tinsley says her mother is going to be the death of her.

LuAnn says Ramona hurt her about trying to get an invite to Tom’s party on the boat. Bethenny remarks that he said no, and thinks it’s embarrassing. LuAnn says, nothing embarrasses Ramona. Bethenny she associates with Tom, and has drinks with him. LuAnn asks what she’s talking about, and Bethenny says they had drinks at the Regency.  In her interview, LuAnn says there are so many guys to choose from, and Ramona is an idiot. Bethenny tells her not to get worked up, and LuAnn says it makes her want to smoke, but this too, shall pass.

It’s dinnertime. Everyone plays non-musical chairs. LuAnn and Carole try non-alcoholic beer, Tinsley says her head hurts from wearing braids, and the oysters look amazing. Bethenny asks if Tinsley is getting engaged. The place where Bethenny got her wedding dress told her Tinsley had been trying them on. Tinsley says it wasn’t real. If she does get married, it will be custom-made, and they’ll know if she’s engaged. Sonja is superstitious, saying she wouldn’t try one on unless she was engaged. In her interview, Bethenny says she kept hers to paint in. She says it’s like trying out coffins, and Tinsley doesn’t find it funny. She thinks Bethenny is being negative, but Bethenny explains she meant it was jumping the gun. She wasn’t comparing marriage to death. They start getting louder and argue. In her interview, Carole says she and Bethenny looked at rings when Bethenny had been dating for only two weeks.

Dorinda brings up Sonja’s family crest again, saying if she was going to her family home, it wouldn’t be in Scotland. Sonja can’t believe she cares. In her interview, Sonja talks about being bullied in school because kids were jealous of her, and how she punched a kid out. Dorinda gets up, and her hands start flying around. And she hasn’t even had a martini. The waitress looks nervous, and I can’t believe these women never care about the other diners. Bethenny asks why Dorinda cares, and Dorinda tells her to stay out of it. Sonja says every time they have a dinner, Dorinda puts her nose in Sonja’s family. We flash back to some of that. In her interview, LuAnn says Dorinda needs to give Sonja a break. Carole says maybe it’s a little pretentious. Dorinda leaves the table, and Carole tells LuAnn, welcome back. Dorinda returns and apologizes, saying she won’t bring it up again. She’s proud of Sonja’s progress. She’s staying in the present, and has many achievements of her own. Bethenny asks what Dorinda is doing. It’s like she’s some kind of authority. In her interview, Bethenny says Dorinda spends 30% of every dining and alcohol experience slurring inaudible insults. Ramona asks LuAnn if she missed them.

LuAnn says, now that she brought it up, the picture Ramona posted caused a problem. Ramona says LuAnn tweeted about being back. LuAnn says that was afterward; she had to say something. Ramona says she didn’t get the memo, and LuAnn says she didn’t get memo that she shouldn’t call Tom either; it’s hurtful. Now she’s the talk of the town again. Bethenny explains to Ramona what she’s done, and the light bulb comes on. LuAnn accuses Ramona of smirking, and says it’s not funny. She needs to be more respectful and thoughtful of her friends. Sonja says this trip was supposed to help LuAnn’s transition. Ramona gets teary, and in her interview, Sonja says, here it comes. Ramona’s crocodile tears. Ramona says she understands; she made a huge mistake, and opened up a can of worms. LuAnn tells her having drinks with Tom is not cool. Most people would never talk to her again. In her interview, Ramona insists it’s just that they travel in the same circle, and she can’t kill him. LuAnn says she’s the lowest of the low. Ramona admits to being socially inept. Tinsley says she’d never go for drinks with Tom. Ramona says she was having drinks with Harry, and Tom was there. In her interview, LuAnn says Harry is her big excuse? Whether it’s Tom, Dick, or Harry, they all live in the same penthouse. Dorinda says Harry said bad things about LuAnn, and LuAnn says Ramona doesn’t have her best interests at heart. She leaves, and in her interview, Ramona says if she didn’t talk to any of the men LuAnn has been with, it wouldn’t leave any. Dorinda tells the waiter they’d like some therapy.

There’s yet another huge spread back at the cottage, and Sonja and Ramona go nuts over the banana bread. In her interview, Sonja calls Ramona a lunatic, since she was just crying a minute ago. Carole tells LuAnn they’re back. LuAnn says she couldn’t look at Ramona anymore. Carole says she did the right thing. In her interview, Carole says everyone is making mistakes around LuAnn. She doesn’t think it’s malicious, but having said that, Ramona should not be drinking with Tom. LuAnn tells Carole that Ramona keeps doing hurtful things, and instead of sincere remorse, she was smirking. Carole thinks she and Ramona need a friendship break.

Ramona tells Sonja that she has a problem when she feels attacked. Even if the person is right, she gets defensive. Bethenny says she’s not being honest to herself in the moment, and Ramona admits it’s immature. In her interview, Ramona says her father was verbally abusive, and she doesn’t know how to react. Dorinda says her intentions are good, but her application sucks.

Carole tells LuAnn it’s a good change, and by next year, she’ll be grateful. LuAnn says she’s grateful already. She doesn’t like that it took an arrest, but she wasn’t heading in great direction. In her interview, Carole says jail is anybody’s wake-up call, and LuAnn is using it to set her life on the right path. Bethenny tells Tinsley she’s going shopping for a divorce dress. Tinsley laughs, and Ramona says, next time, he’s paying Bethenny.

LuAnn tries to wake up Bethenny and Sonja for yoga. She wonders if Dorinda is mad at her for not defending her. Bethenny says Dorinda wants to skate, but realizes she’s looking judgmental.

Dorinda tells Carole that LuAnn wasn’t sticking up for her. Carole suggest maybe she didn’t want to seem hypocritical because of the Countess thing. She thinks Dorinda should drop it. LuAnn tells Bethenny and Sonja that when they go to a restaurant, they should put up sign that says, caution: wild animals. LuAnn decides on a private yoga session. Sonja feels reborn, and Bethenny says she killed it. It feels like she passed a gallstone. Dorinda has been checked.

Tinsley tells Ramona she feels overwhelmed and exhausted from dinner. Ramona says she was shaking. She’s embarrassed. She should have been more sensitive, but she’s a work in progress. Ugh. That excuse.

Everyone gets ready to leave the spa. Ramona wants to talk to LuAnn, and Dorinda tells her no excuses; just say she’s sorry. Ramona knocks on LuAnn’s door. She says she texted LuAnn last night. LuAnn says she got the text, but doesn’t want to do this right now. Ramona still continues to talk about how she showed poor judgement. LuAnn practically has to shove her out the door. Ramona tells the others that LuAnn isn’t in the mood, but got her text. Dorinda thinks by Friday, all will be fine. She jokes about going drinking with LuAnn by then, but Carole says, hashtag too soon.

In her interview, LuAnn says this was the first stepping stone. She knows not drinking with them is okay. New York will be another hurdle.

This season, speed dating, LuAnn’s cabaret, Sonja has a wardrobe malfunction, a trip to Mexico, fabulous earrings, Dorinda insults LuAnn, Bethenny says it’s the worst vacation ever, and the boat ride from hell.

Below Deck Mediterranean

It’s the third day in Capri. João docks the boat. Conrad says he’s blowing so much smoke up Captain Sandy’s ass, he’s like a steam train. He hopes this doesn’t make João’s head any bigger. João says he’s living the dream.

Breakfast happens. My favorite meal. Brooke says Kasey trying. Hannah says, too bad. She was looking forward to firing her. In her interview, Hannah says that dating on boats usually ends Titanic style, but thinks Conrad is worth the risk. The guests begin to pack. Colin says his underpants are pinching his boys. Really. He said that. Everyone gets into their whites. Captain Sandy is proud of Kasey. Adam tells the guests that they were like a breath of fresh air. Derrek says it was the trip of a lifetime, and gives the captain a fat envelope.

And it’s tip time. The captain says Kasey’s work ethic has come up a few notches, and everyone applauds. She says the deck crew’s attitude was spot on. Hannah says the interior is getting there. The tip is $21K or 1480 euros a person. Everyone has champagne.

Captain Sandy asks if Hannah isn’t happy with the interior. She says she’s frustrated, and couldn’t believe Kasey got rounds of applause. The captain says she’s not having a conversation about Kasey’s resume again. You can’t tear someone down and expect a good job. She sees Kasey’s good attitude, and she’s giving 100%. Brooke asks João if he and Hannah are getting on any better. He says she undermines people. She has a bully personality. In his interview, João says he’s not intimidated by Hannah. Brooke says everyone thinks João is a d*ck, but she’ trying to see it from both sides. He says he’s just there to have a good time.

Hannah tells Kasey that she’s tired, stressed, and working hard. She needs to see initiative. Kasey says she’s trying her best. Hannah says she can’t hold Kasey’s hand through everything. Kasey suggests more communication, and Hannah tells her to look around. She didn’t spend this many years in yachting to be an effing work bitch. In her interview, Hannah says she needs to concentrate on other things. She doesn’t have time to teach ironing, and needs more support.

Everyone gets ready to roll out for the evening. Hannah asks if João has crush on Kasey. He can’t exactly say yes, but yes. Adam says he’s never eaten at a Michelin star restaurant, even though he’s served at one. He takes pictures of the menu, and asks the waiter questions about lobster. He wonders why his chief stew doesn’t know as much as the waiter. Maybe because that’s the waiter’s only job, and the chief stew wears many hats? He says he loves watching professionals do their job. He tells Hannah that she doesn’t seem happy. She says she wasn’t. The food comes, and Adam says everything is done perfectly, and it looks damn good. Everything is so good, it’s making him feel like a sh*tty chef.

João asks if Hannah can’t just be nice. She’s not into clinking glasses, and he tells her, cheers. He hopes it goes down with nails. She’s like, what? and he says she didn’t cheers him properly. She calls him a psycho. Conrad and Hannah go on cigarette break. Adam says they can’t have a single night out without an argument between them, and we flash back to some of that. They don’t like to be challenged, but like to challenge.

Conrad tells Hannah that João shouldn’t speak to women like that. Hannah says she didn’t do anything to him; he’s effing psychotic. Conrad doesn’t like how he talks to her. In his interview, Conrad says João has no filter. Hannah and Conrad kiss. Back at the table, Jamie asks Kasey if she wants to bring herself into something with João. Kasey says she likes him, but he failed the test. They bring out some weird lollipops for dessert. Seriously, I want to know what those are. Hannah tells Brooke about what João said. He’s sitting across from her, and squeezes a wine glass so hard that it shatters all over. There’s a stunned moment. Maybe he is psychotic, or related to Ramona or LisaR.

He says, his bad. Hannah says she thinks they’re done, and asks for the bill. Adam says it couldn’t have happened at the last place they were at, instead of the nicest meal of his life. Yeah, I know the feeling. Hannah says João is psychotic. Brooke wants to know where she and João stand, because maybe she’s psychotic. She doesn’t like bullsh*t. In her interview, Kasey says if you want her, don’t flirt with anyone else. Sounds reasonable. In his interview, João says he doesn’t want to get hurt. Kasey asks again where they stand, but he won’t say. I know it’s slim pickin’s on the yacht, but what is wrong with these girls?

On to the club. Adam tells Kasey not to let Hannah get to her. It doesn’t matter what she thinks, and that’s why she’s pissed off. João dances with Brooke, and they have shots. In her interview, Brooke says when she gets drunk, she gets more drawn to João. In her interview, Kasey says she can’t keep up with João. Brooke starts to fall asleep, and some of the crew take pictures with them gathered around her. João says it’s wrong, and takes Hannah’s phone out of her hand. She says insulting women is okay, but not taking a funny picture. João tells her go away, and she starts calling him names, and telling him to get out of her face. So many words are bleeped, I don’t even know what they’re saying. Conrad tells João to respect women, and calls him a pr*ck. João he says they’re unreal. In his interview, Conrad says no one should be spoken to like that, especially a bloke speaking to a woman.

They manage to get Brooke to the car. In her interview, Kasey says her last relationship was eight years ago. He cheated on her, so she’s guarded now. She wants someone to prove themselves and fight for her. Conrad and Hannah get Brooke back to her room. Then go to bed with each other, on the top bunk. I’d love to take a trip on a yacht, but I wouldn’t want to work on one. The quarters are just a little close.

Kasey says she’s trying to prove she belongs here. She tells Brooke about the photo op, and how João was acting stupid. In her interview, Brooke is glad João was sticking up for her in his own way. She he’s a gentleman. Really? We must have different definitions of that. Hannah asks João what his issue is with her. He thinks they just don’t get along. She thinks there’s something weird with him, when he does things like calling her a slut. He looks like a d*ck in front of the crew. He says her advice means nothing to him, and in her interview, Hannah says he can’t be reasoned with. They agree to stay away from each other. Good luck with that.

Conrad says João’s behavior is unacceptable, but as his boss, he has to be professional. There’s a preference sheet meeting, and the next primary guests are Josh and Cindy, who are celebrating their tenth anniversary. They’re self-proclaimed foodies, and Adam has never felt more inspired to make sure they’re blown away. They want the slide, and to jump from the highest part of the yacht. João and Brooke decide they’re similar. Brooke says she can’t flirt as well when she’s drunk. Yes. You have to be awake for that. The provisions arrive. Hannah tells Adam she has an upcoming date with Conrad. In his interview, Adam says she looks like him in Croatia; a bit distracted. Kasey asks João if he’s hungover. She tells him that she doesn’t want to be part of a triangle. He says he’s too hungover to talk, and she says that’s just an excuse.

Hannah says it’s been over five years since she’s been excited about a first date. In her interview, she say all the male figures in her life left her, and she closes down and pulls back. She’s a psycho commitment phobic bitch. She and Conrad go ashore. They go to a restaurant. It’ outdoor seating, and they order a bottle of wine and some food. In his interview, Conrad says he doesn’t like to give too much away to women, and get emotionally attached. He thinks with Hannah, it will be different.

Brooke wonders if Conrad and Hannah are sleeping together tonight. Hannah asks Conrad about their age difference. In his interview, he says he likes a cougar, although I don’t know if I’d classify Hannah as one. She says they’re at different stages of their lives, and he says he he likes it. In her interview, Hannah says she wants to get married and have a baby. He doesn’t just want to get drunk, and looks after her. He’s nice and sweet. They kiss. On their way back, they see fireworks. Literally. The other kind don’t happen until they’re back on the boat.

Adam asks for meeting with service. He wants to make sure they’re on the same page. He’ll be writing the menu out, and it will be on display. They’ll know if somebody doesn’t want something in advance, and if there’s a problem with that, they can speak to the chef. He wants to make sure everyone is accommodated and not overwork anyone. In her interview, Hannah thinks he has a lot of nerve telling the interior what to do.

The new guests arrive. I find out the boat is called the Talisman. I either didn’t know or forgot. Hannah gives the tour. Josh says they’re not in Kansas anymore. Cindy and her friends lounge on the upper deck, and ask for gumballs. When Brooke goes to get them, one of them says they’d better not be white. It’s the only color she doesn’t like. Who is she? Mariah Carey? Sure enough, they’re white, and Brooke goes back to see if they have other colors. Hannah says if they wanted a specific color, it should have been on the preference sheet. In her interview, she says she’s had a lot of strange requests, from hookers to nuts she’s had to fly in, but never gumballs. The white gumball hater says she was going to put it on the sheet, but thought it would make her look like an a-hole. Well, what do you think you look like now? Amazingly, Hannah finds some. One of the guests announces that gumballs make them happy.

The yacht shoves off, and the deckhands get the water toys ready. Adam prepares lunch. In her interview, Hannah says she’s not going out of her way to make Kasey’s life a living hell, but she has to prove herself. She’s still hung up on the resume thing.

There’s a tremendous spread for lunch. Adam says he’s got to put a face to the food, and comes upstairs. He explains all the dishes, and Josh pronounces it fantastic. Hannah tells Brooke that she doesn’t like João. Brooke says, sorry, but she doesn’t not not like him [sic]. In her interview, Hannah wishes she’d stay awake to see what a d-bag he is, but she’s big enough to look out for herself. Brooke asks if Hannah minds, and Hannah says she doesn’t give a flying what Brooke thinks. Brooke says, awkward.

Lunch is over, and it’s slide time. I’d want a nap after all that. A few guests jump from up top. Jamie thinks Colin has a thing for Brooke after he shows her a picture of the two of them. She thinks they’d be perfect. Better than Brook and João. I don’t particularly like Hannah much, but I really don’t like João. The guests move on to the hot tub, and ask who Kasey thinks is cute. She says João, and if I could, I’d leave the room.

Hannah meets Conrad for a smoke. Captain Sandy says they need to think of it logistically, and have more discretion. They’re senior crew; act like it. Adam is disappointed that the guests just want one course for dinner. He’s making sea bass, with a lot of wonderful sides. Adam is pleased that Hannah is finally communicating, and thinks he’s gotten through. He decides to go up and explain the dishes himself. One guest is busy with her hair for ten hours, and keeps everyone waiting. Somebody says it’s been a rough day of fabulous. Hair-do guest finally makes it to the table. Another one says she needs food now. Maybe it’s Cindy. Josh goes down to the galley and asks if it’s coming. Hannah says, it’s on its way. Josh just stands there for a minute, staring at Adam trying to plate the food, and says they’re fading upstairs. Hannah says she wasn’t sure when the last guest was coming. Adam is like, screw communicating.

Next time, there’s blatant chemistry between João and Brooke, Captain Sandy calls out Conrad, and we’re still stuck with the gumball guests.

🍜 On MasterChef, the mystery ingredient was walnuts. Cesar won the challenge, although I missed just what his winning dish was because I was feeding my dogs. Alexi Lalas made an appearance, and Cesar got to pick a dish for the elimination challenge out of several considered favorite soccer game foods. He chose churros with chocolate sauce, thinking the other contestants would be over-confident. Alecia was put on notice for showboating, and Aaron called her a disappointment when her churros were too sugary to be edible. Samantha wept about her lack of experience, but Gordon appreciated her determination. Matt was the only one who did everything right. It was down to Alecia and Bowen, who had double-fried his churros. Apparently, this works well in Chinese cooking, but not so much Mexican.  He was still deemed to have potential, and Alecia was out. Aaron told her that she was well on her way. She felt like she let him down, but met kick-ass people, and learned a lot. She’s going to keep reaching for it, and said she’s still a winner. I like when they leave graciously. Next time, a wedding.

🍴 Gordon took on the Brownstone Bistro in LA on 24 Hours to Hell and Back. Executive chef Clyde had bought the restaurant five years ago, and started off thriving. Sadly, his son was shot, almost right in front of him, and things went downhill. He didn’t want to lose his lazy-ass employees, because he couldn’t do more for his son, and wanted to be supportive. His manager said his kindness was being taken as weakness, although she wasn’t much better. Gordon took them to the heart of his operation, Hell on Wheels, where he showed them the secret camera films of themselves being idiots. The place was also incredibly filthy. Gordon chewed the manager out for thinking it was funny, although later encouraged her, saying she could be a great boss. One employee walked out when he realized he’d actually have to start working, but everyone else got it together. As usual, the restaurant’s décor was revamped, and Gordon included a blessing tree, in honor of Clyde’s son. At the re-opening, some chicken was nearly served raw, and we learned the rule, if it’s not ready, don’t send it out. The LA Times food critic said she couldn’t believe they did it in 24-hours. His work done, Gordon disappeared into the night. Next week, a restaurant serves frozen lasagna. Enough said. I can get a decent one at Trader Joe’s for two bucks.

📻 For Your Listening Pleasure & Because It Is


June 25, 2018 – Obrecht Wants a Sequel from Peter, Big Commissions, News From the Reality Scene & a Club Kid Grows Up


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

At The Floating Rib, Anna reads an article about Peter still being missing. Felicia asks if she’s seen Obrecht. She’s planning a baby shower for Maxie, and Obrecht isn’t returning any calls. She wonders what’s more important to her than her grandson.

Apparently, eating barbecue. Obrecht tells Peter she just downloaded his book to her tablet. She says she’ll also get the author’s full attention while reading it.

Jordan makes small talk with Maxie about James. Maxie says, he made a spectacular arrival. Jordan is relieved they’re safe and healthy. She needs to talk a moment as the commissioner, and wants to talk about Peter.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s capable of saving herself. He says she needed help when Cassandra attacked her, and he cleaned up her mess. Imagine what would have happened if he’d written her off when she needed him the most. She asks if he’s trying to blackmail her, but he says he’s trying to help. Nina asks if he’s trying to woo her with the threat of prison.

In Peter’s old hotel room, Sam points out something to Curtis. Margaux walks in, and asks what the hell they’re doing in her room. Curtis and Sam explain that they’re PIs working on a case. As far as Margaux is concerned, they’re breaking and entering. She snaps their picture with her phone, and says she’s sending the photos to the DA’s office. They can explain themselves to the cops.

Screaming comes from the room next to Carly’s at Ferncliff. Jason gravitates toward it, but Doc sees him, and asks if he can help with something. Jason asks who the patient is, but Doc says they don’t discuss patients with the custodial staff. Carly asks herself, what the hell is going on out there? There’s a lot of wth? going around today. Doc tells Jason not to attempt contact, or he’ll have to inform Mary Pat that he isn’t who he says he is. Jason says he has to finish in Carly’s room. Doc lets him in, and tells Carly he’ll be back for their session. When Doc leaves, Jason gives Carly a phone, saying they don’t have much time.

Sam and Curtis show Margaux their IDs. She asks if they were hired by the PCPD, and Curtis says Jordan requested them. Margaux asks if Jordan specifically requested they go through her hotel room. Curtis says they were given leeway to investigate Peter’s last known whereabouts. Sam says they didn’t know it was her room. Curtis apologizes, saying they weren’t informed that the room was occupied, and it must have been an oversight. Margaux assumes it was already searched, and tells them to get to it. She’s going to watch, and see if they’re better at their jobs than the cops.

Valentin says he’d never blackmail Nina, but she insists he was using it to keep her in the marriage. She says she’s perfectly capable of getting out of her own messes. He’s using what happened against her. He tells her no one knows or ever will; except Anna might have figured it out. Nina says. Anna, and throws up her hands.

Felicia tells Anna she’ll get the details on the shower as soon as she pins Obrecht down. Anna says Obrecht loves Maxie, and if she’s there, it might cause a tirade. Felicia says she got so caught up in James’s arrival, she hasn’t asked about Anna’s son. She was grateful he was there for Maxie. Anna says, but she wishes he wasn’t Faison’s son? Anna has wished that too, from the moment he was born. Felicia says it must have been hard to live with the secret. Anna says she did what she thought was right at the time, but it went terribly wrong. Peter bore the brunt of her not defending him, and she feels responsible for the course of his life. Felicia says she did the best she could at the time; she did all a parent can do. Anna doesn’t agree, but appreciates Felicia’s words. Felicia asks how Robin is, and Anna says, processing. It might take a while, but she’s surrounded by family who can comfort her. Felicia asks who’s comforting Anna? Finn appears, and says, me.

Maxie hates knowing that she’ll be reminded of Peter when she thinks of the night her son was born. Jordan says Nathan would be proud. It’s no small feat to give birth by the side of a road. Maxie says Peter kept her calm and distracted her from the pain. Jordan says he seemed to be trying to start over for her. She might have been his only real friend.

Obrecht reads out loud about the father not being able to bear his sorry excuse for a son. She says not since Oliver Twist has a child been so mistreated. Peter says he never went back again for Christmas. She tells him that he’s a compelling writer; she almost feels sorry for him. Keeping him alive is looking more interesting.

Jason tells Carly that he doesn’t know how much longer be there. He believes Doc might turn him in; he thinks Carly would be safer. He says not to tell him about the phone no matter what, and only use it in an emergency, since she’ll risk being caught. He tells her to remember that whatever happens, they’ll get her out, but she has to stay strong and wait. Carly hugs him.

Doc returns to Carly’s room, and suggest they dive into their session. Carly says she can’t do anything until she tells him the truth. He says he’s always happy to hear the truth, and she says the insanity plea was a defense tactic. Diane thought if she pleaded insanity, she wouldn’t go to Pentonville. Not for one minute was she out of her mind. He asks if she’s saying she pushed Nelle deliberately, but she says she would never jeopardize her grandchild – or Nelle. Nelle was taunting her with a baby blanket, and she fell. Doc asks if she maintains there was a baby blanket, and she says, yes, and a scarf and a break-in. Nelle’s been gaslighting her, but she hasn’t been able to prove it. Doc says she’s there and she’s his patient. Regardless of how she got there, they should use time constructively. Carly says she’s not crazy, but he’s sure they can find something to talk about.

Felicia says it’s wonderful to see Anna and Finn together. She predicted it, and when she’s right, she’s so right. She’s happy for them both. She tells Finn that everything she said still applies. Anna is a remarkable woman, and he needs to treat her well. Anna finally found someone who won’t let her push them away. Finn says they both did some pushing. Felicia thinks it’s going to be epic. She has to leave to plan a shower and find an annoying German woman. When she’s gone, Anna asks Finn if Robin is on the group text. She still hasn’t heard from her.

Nina tells Valentin all the pieces just fell into place. Anna knows she nearly killed Cassandra, and she’s Peter’s mother. No wonder he protected her. She keeps pulling back layers, and wonders what other twisted compromise he’s made to keep Anna in his life. He says he never told Anna anything, and the conversation was supposed to be about them. She asks if this is where he lies and she believes him. She says, that “us” is over.

Obrecht tells Peter the sequel will be his confession. If the book is a success and the critics agree, he lives. Peter asks what critics, and she says the only one that matters – her.

Carly asks Doc if he thinks Nelle couldn’t have set her up if she hadn’t lost Morgan. He thinks her grief set her up for manipulation. She admits she wanted to believe Morgan reached out to her. Doc says there are ways to honor him that aren’t as painful. They could work on that. Mary Pat sees Jason in the hallway, and asks why he’s still there. He tells her that he was cleaning up a food spill, and she tells him his shift ended. They don’t pay overtime, but she appreciates his diligence.

Curtis examines the vent in the hotel room. It has prints on it, and he thinks Peter could have used it to store his bag. Margaux says they’re done, and she needs to get ready. Curtis says it’s been real. Sam says it was interesting meeting her. Margaux says, for her too.

Anna gives Finn a copy of The Severed Branch. She says the book will be another thing for Robin to contend with. She and Robin used to figure heavily in Faison’s stories. She misses Robin, and the baby is almost one. She can feel the distance between them, and has to make it right. Finn tells her to do it. Robin always complimented her on being a persistent mom, and she needs the mom she’s used to. He says, sometimes time becomes a barrier. It’s easier or less painful to leave things unsaid. Don’t let it happen.

Maxie tells Jordan that Peter is not her friend. Jordan asks if she has any idea where might have gone. In the time they were close, did he mention a place he was connected to or a safe haven? Maxie says he only offered minimal details of his life, and who knows if they were true? Nathan is gone, and she’s all James has. How is she supposed to take care of him when she can’t see trouble standing right in front of her?

Jason meets Anna. He tells her that he’s been focused on Carly. Anna is sorry about Ferncliff, and says Carly probably feels he could have done more if he hadn’t been working with her. She tells him that she told Robin about Peter. Jason says Robin told him. Anna asks what she said, and he says she thanked him for saving Anna’s life. Anna thanks him too.

Maxie tells Jordan that she’s excited for James leaving the hospital, but terrified to be alone with him. She and Nathan were supposed to be a team. Jordan says Nathan chose her to be mother of his child; lead with that, and she’s just a phone call away, 24/7.

Anna says Jason saved her life, and she nearly shot him for it. She can’t say she’d do it differently, and she’s sorry for that. She asks if their positions were reversed, and she had a gun on Michael, would he shoot her? He doesn’t know, but if it was the only way save his life, maybe he would. She’s professional and knows the risks, and Michael was a baby he held. He would have to help him, no matter what the cost.

Peter tells Obrecht that she broke his hand, and he needs it to write. She says if will afford him an opportunity to get the details correct, and she can add her own perspective. After Anna’s destruction, the book will be a testament to Nathan. Peter asks her to tell him about Nathan. He needs to know him if he’s going to write about him. Obrecht says, he was too good for this world; kind, giving, and handsome. There’s no resemblance.

Felicia goes to Nina’s office, and says she’s obviously interrupting, but Nina says, not at all. She asks how Maxie and James are, and Felicia says they’ll be home soon. She wants to get together a shower, but hasn’t been able to reach Obrecht. She asks if Nina can get a message to her; she’s not returning Felicia’s calls or texts. Nina says she’ll try, and Felicia leaves. Valentin asks Nina to tell him what’s wrong, but she says she’s not playing games with him anymore. She has her brother’s son to worry about.

Anna tells Jason that she’s sorry Peter escaped; that wasn’t supposed to happen. She wanted to intercede with the WSB, but some of the charges are valid. It’s her fault for setting it in motion. Jason says Robin always talked about how Anna taught her to do the right thing, not the easy thing, and to think for herself. Robin tried to teach him those things, and she put that in motion too. If he spent his life trying to pay them back, he wouldn’t be able to. Anna says Robin told her that after all this time, she doesn’t really know her. Jason asks if she said she loved Anna. Anna says she did, and Jason says, believe it. He tells her good luck, be careful, and watch her back. It won’t help anyone if she lets Peter kill her.

Maxie reads about the father telling his son to search for other men’s weakness in The Severed Branch. She says he wins the worst childhood award, but that doesn’t mean she forgives him. She throws the book toward the trashcan, but misses. Felicia walks in, and asks what’s wrong. Maxie says she hates that Peter’s childhood is making it hard for her to hate him. She throws the book into the can, and Felicia says, whatever fate has in store for him, let it go. It has nothing to do with her.

Nina shows up at the cabin, and Obrecht says she’s discovered a useful purpose for Peter. Nina says they have another problem. Felicia wants to revive the baby shower. She needs to make appearance in town. It’s out of character for her not to be hovering over her grandson. Obrecht is sure Felicia has good intentions, but can imagine what the shower will be like if she’s left to her own devices.

At The Floating Rib, Sam says she can’t believe the flash drive was under their noses the whole time. Curtis is concerned that they just created trouble for Jordan, and Sam’s people skills didn’t make them favorites with the DA. Jordan joins them, and tells them that there’s security footage of Peter going in to the hotel, but not leaving. Curtis says a mystery is added to the mystery. Margaux comes in, and Jordan introduces her. Curtis says he was just about to mention they’d already met her.

Finn goes back to The Floating Rib to tell Anna that he has to get back to the hospital again. She tells him that she’ll say goodbye now. She’s going to Berkeley. He says, she’ll need someone to wash… er, watch her back. He can refer his patient to another doctor. She thinks it will be more than an overnight, and his patients deserve brilliant him, not a referral. She’s booked on the next flight. He walks her out, and says he totally forgot one thing. Before she goes… he kisses her. She says it was on her packing checklist. He kisses her some more, and she says she is coming back. He says he’ll be there when she does.

Carly hears music outside, and reaches for the phone under her mattress. Like that isn’t the first place someone would look for contraband. She hears knocking from the room next door, and says, it’s better than screaming. It happens again, and she wonders if it’s Morse code. She knocks back, and asks if they’re trying to tell her something.

Curtis and Sam move to another table. Margaux tells Jordan she doesn’t want to start off on the wrong foot, but has qualms about her hiring Curtis and Sam. Jordan says they’re the best at what they do. She understands Margaux’s hesitation, but assures her they’re professional. They’re careful not to let their personal lives interfere with work. Margaux thinks they work both sides of the law. Sam wonders why Peter is hiding. It’s not like he didn’t have time to call someone for help. Curtis thinks he’s got more enemies than friends. They need to look for someone who hated him enough to make him disappear.

Obrecht sees Felicia, who says she’s been trying to reach her. Obrecht says she’s here now, and the shower will proceed as planned.

Peter asks about Maxie and the baby. He heard Maxie is taking James home soon. Nina says, yes, and he says she must be relieved. She says, they all are; they needed some good news. Peter says he was the first to hold James. He was so tiny, and Peter just wanted them safe. No matter how angry Nina is, does she really want the man who delivered her nephew punished? He begs her to save him.

On the phone, Valentin asks someone if they got his instructions. He wants them followed to the letter. It’s for his wife, so there’s no margin for error.

Finn calls while Anna is getting in the car to the airport. He tells her that he misses her already. She says, her too, and tells the driver to take her to Port Charles International; it’s a domestic slight. We see he has a gun on passenger seat, which he covers with a newspaper.

Carly asks if the other patient is trying to talk to her. Outside, Mary Pat says Jason seems to have been deceiving her, and she doesn’t like liars. She asks for his badge, and he hands it over. She says he can follow her out, or she can call Rupert to escort him. Omg, I’ve been calling him Jasper. He seems like a Jasper. Doc watches as Mary Pat leads Jason away.

Tomorrow, Josslyn is angry with Oscar, Michael gets a warning, and Mary Pat tells Carly that Jason is gone.

🗽 On Million Dollar Listing New York, 50 Cent listed his house with Fredrik. I didn’t catch how many rooms it has in total, but there are 20 bathrooms, which I can’t even fathom. He’s decided it’s a little big for one person. Ryan has the chance to make a $6 million commission on a $200 million property in Brooklyn, but the catch is that he has to make a meeting in Shanghai first. Steve managed to sell a penthouse that has amazing views, but had been on the market for a year. He got a $104,000 commission for his efforts. Next time, things get dicey with Ryan trying to get to China.

📺 A Cuppla Reality Tidbits

How sweet! Rand asked Lala’s dad for her hand in marriage. And the rest of her too. Ha-ha!

Alexis and Jim Bellino are divorcing. How Sad! Maybe. Jim is kind of a d-bag.

🌇 And In Closing…

I’m loving Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce. It’s one of those shows that I forget how good it is until I see it again. Sadly, I read that Odd Mom Out will not be returning. I adored that show, even though I thought I wouldn’t relate. Not only is it set in my beloved NYC, if I was a mom, Jill (Jill Kargman) is the kind of mom I’d be. It’s also crazy cool that she was a Club Kid.

🎇 For Your Viewing Pleasure…

June 20, 2018 – Ava Smacks David, a Spa Weekend for LuAnn, Gordon Times Two & Summer


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Oscar asks Josslyn how he looks with a French fry mustache, but doesn’t get much of a response. Josslyn is distracted. She hates that her mom is in that place. She gets that her mom needs treatment, but she was supposed to go to Shadybrook, which is like rehab, but instead, she’s in Ferncliff, which is worse than prison. If she keeps talking about it, she’ll go crazy too. She asks how Oscar liked staying with his dad. He says he liked everything, except his mom being on an overnight with Julian.

Julian and Kim arrive back at Charlie’s. Kim asks if Julian is glad to be back. He says he’ll be better after he checks for ticks. Kim thinks did a thorough job. They kiss, and she tells him to admit he likes great outdoors. He says it was the company. He can’t imagine any better camping company. His phone rings, and Kim takes the opportunity to call Oscar. Alexis tells Julian that she’s been trying to reach him; they need to talk. He tells her that he’s at Charlie’s, and Alexis says she’ll be right there.

At the hospital, David sees Alexis. He tells her that he could use a hero right about now. I don’t think I’d be jumping the gun in saying he’s barking up the wrong tree.

At the Floating Rib, Kiki gets a text from Ava saying that she and Griff are worried. Griff appears.

Ava surprises Nelle on the Quartermaine’s terrace. Nelle says she didn’t hear Ava, and Ava hopes she’s catching up on the gallery work piled up since her convalescence began. We see she’s looking at a newspaper article about Chase from the Palm Beach Press.

At the PCPD, Michael tells Chase that Nelle says he’s stalking her. Is he? Chase asks if that’s what Nelle told him. Michael says, amongst other things. Chase says she’s quite the storyteller, amongst other things.

Nelle tells Ava that she’s busy. It’s personal. Ava asks if her return is imminent, or is she still enjoying her victory lap?

Doc tells Carly the only room available is in super max. She’ll be moved to the main wing as soon as a bed is available. She thanks him. Doc sees Jason, and whispers his name. Doc tells him this is not a good idea. Mary Pat wanders over to introduce them, and asks if they’re already acquainted.

Kim sits with Oscar at Charlie’s. She asks what Drew fed him, and if he’s got scurvy. Oscar correctly says it would take more than a day to get scurvy. She asks if he got his paper done. He asks her to define done, and she asks him to define grounded. Josslyn gets weepy, and says it’s getting late. She runs outside, and drops a cannister of pepper spray. She looks at it with tears in her eyes. Kim comes out, and asks if she got something in her eye. She says her mom gave it to her.

Mary Pat asks if Doc knows the new employee. Doc tells her that he could say that. He practices at GH, and Jason’s last job was there. Mary Pat says she forgot he was on staff there. She says he works so many hours, possibly a second job is unfair to everyone. He could overextend himself, and leave others to pick up the slack.

David tells Alexis that they need to catch up, but she says she has to be somewhere. He says he has something up more than a friendly meeting in mind. He’s in a legal jam, and would like to use her services. She asks what kind of jam. He says word is going around that he’s the ogre in Kiki’s story. It’s not true, but rumors are taking their toll, and he wants to be ready for a defamation case, if it comes to that. Alexis says his career will be dead and buried by then, and as Kiki’s attorney, she’ll be wielding the shovel.

Griff asks to sit down with Kiki. He’s glad to see her out and about. He can’t imagine what it’s like with her picture and name on the front page. She says she’s being trolled in the comments section and on Twitter. She thinks she’s clearly not his first target. She’s hoping someone corroborates her story, but so far, it’s been silence. Maybe she is the only one.

Nelle tells Ava not to pretend to be worried about Carly. She’s reaping the rewards. Sonny’s attention is divided, and Carly isn’t there to meddle with her Avery time. Ava says she wouldn’t wish Ferncliff on her worst enemy. Nelle says Ava should be thanking her. She’s enjoying the fruits of her labor without lifting a finger. Ava tells her not to get too cocky. Her scheme could unravel as easily as a handmade baby blanket.

Michael doesn’t want Chase’s opinion; he wants Chase to leave Nelle alone. Chase tells Michael that he kept his distance, but they were bound to cross paths. He doesn’t know how much she told him about her fiancé dying. Michael says it was an accident, and Chase tells him the case is cold, not closed.  Dante joins them and asks what’s up. Michael says Chase claims that he’s investigating Nelle for the death of her fiancé, but Nelle claims he’s stalking her. Michael asks why Dante didn’t tell him Chase had a history with Nelle, and then realizes Dante didn’t know.

Dante asks if Chase came to Port Charles to follow Nelle. Chase says the same reason he went to Maine and Florida, to enforce the law. Michael says he followed Nelle, and asks if the law doesn’t frown on detectives sleeping with suspects. Chase explains that he pursued the case. He believed in Nelle’s innocence, and she played on that. Then there was an anonymous tip that he was involved with a suspect. He was reprimanded, his career derailed, and the case dried up, as Nelle intended.

Ava tells Nelle that she’s not out of woods yet. The blanket is still out there with God knows what else. She’s sly, but not as brilliant as she thinks. Nelle says, if only Ava hadn’t taken that picture. She wouldn’t want Dr. Priestly to find out she was snooping. This actually caused me to pause for a second, wondering if that was Griff’s last name, then realizing it was a joke. I feel stupid. Ava says Nelle can delete it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t in the cloud or out there somewhere else. She has no way of knowing. While she’d like to accommodate Nelle, she’s going to hold on to her security blanket for the time being. Nelle says she’ll hold on to the photo for the time being.

Griff tells Kiki it’s too soon to throw in the towel. Someone could still come forward. Kiki says she’s in a counter intuitive position, hoping another woman has been harassed. Kiki’s concerned that she really has no say. Griff daydreams about being with her in bed. Kiki says maybe she made a mistake after all, leaning on him.

Josslyn tells Kim that her mom gave her the pepper spray for protection, in case she got locked up. Kim knows that there are scary misconceptions about mental hospitals, but she did a rotation in one. Josslyn asks if it was the same place Carly is in, but Kim says, no. She says Josslyn’s mom will be fine. She’ll get the help she needs, and come home. I don’t hear what Josslyn says, but she jets.

Oscar looks at an arrowhead Julian brought back, and says it looks like a stone; good for skipping, not hunting. He asks Julian if he has a hickey, and Julian says it’s a mosquito bite. They made a feast out of him. he doesn’t know how Oscar stands it. Oscar says some people are born campers; some should just stay home.

David is shocked that Alexis is representing Kiki against him because they’re friends. She says she’s Kiki’s attorney now. He says she had him over for Thanksgiving; they dated. She says that should have been her first clue. It’s been pointed out she has bad judgement when it comes to men. David says the hospital found Kiki’s claims to be without merit. Alexis says it’s in their best interest not to find fault.

No, no, no! There’s a special report, because the news can never wait until it’s time for the news, forty minutes from now. I fill the next part in using my interweb powers.

David thought Alexis knew him, and she says she’s been wrong about a lot of people. In this case, she’s right, but wishes she weren’t. She walks away, and David looks grim.

Julian tells Oscar there’s a first time for everything. Oscar says now that he’s done it, he never has to do it again. Julian says he’d be a quitter, and Oscar says, quitting has a bad rap. There’s no harm in knowing your limitations. Julian says, but there’s glory in defying them. He doesn’t scare easy. Kim and Alexis walk in, and are both surprised to see Julian and Oscar talking. Alexis thought they didn’t get along, but Kim says that hasn’t really been tested. Alexis is shocked Julian goes camping.

Griff tells Kiki that he’s willing to keep his distance, but why deprive herself of the support of a friend? They made one mistake. Kiki says and won’t repeat it. It’s enough to blow up everything between him and her mom, not to mention her and her mom. She’s been jealous of their friendship from the beginning. She can’t do this with him, as much as she wants him there.

Mary Pat tells Doc the rest of the staff are full time, and see all that goes on when he’s away. Jasper grabs Carly’s arm, and says it’s time for her rest. Doc tells him to let her go. He’d like a few minutes alone with his patient. Mary Pat says, it’s vital that they adhere to a schedule. It’s order for their disorders minds. Doc says, the key to recovery isn’t prioritizing what’s on one’s schedule, but scheduling one’s priorities. I’ll have to think about that one. He tells Mary Pat that he’s Caroline’s doctor, and has the best handle on that. Mary Pat says she doesn’t want a half-cleaned room, so he’ll have to tolerate Jason’s presence. Doc says, if he must. The patients get rounded up, except for Carly. Carly tells Jason she’s glad he’s there. Doc says, too bad he can’t stay.

Nelle asks if Ava came over to remind her that she’s indebted. Ava asks if she’s seen the news. Nelle asks what Ava did now, but Ava says there’s a profile on what her daughter endured at GH. She had a bright future, and now it’s uncertain. It reminded her how you can lose everything you’ve gained. Carly’s absence benefits her now, but if there’s one iota of evidence that could set her free, Nelle needs to get rid of it. She leaves, and Nelle takes the bottle of Morgan’s cologne out of her bag. Josslyn comes in, saying she came to talk to Nelle. Josslyn says Morgan once spent time in hospital because he was bi-polar. She went to visit, and it wasn’t scary. She asks what it was like for Nelle, and Nelle wonders if she’s asking because of her mom.

Michael says Chase slept with a murder suspect. Now he made detective, and took a job in Port Charles in his quest to resume holding a badge over Nelle’s head, like he did in Florida. Chase says the only thing he wants is a confession. Michael asks what evidence he has that Nelle killed Zack. Chase says cases like this can develop over a long stretch. Michael tells him to take the rest of his life, but develop away from Nelle and their baby. Chase has some friendly advice – don’t kayak with Nelle, or ever.

Ava sees David at the hospital, telling him that he’s a hard man to find. She asks if he’s not getting her messages about the artwork. She has some things that would suit his taste, and says he should make an appointment. He says he’s rather busy. She says she’s flexible, but he says he was being polite; he can’t patronize her business. She says she’s sorry to hear that, and asks, why? He suggests she ask her daughter. Ava says, it’s you. You’re the one who’s been harassing my daughter.

Julian tells Alexis that he was showing Oscar an arrowhead, and she asks if he’s sure it’s not just rock. She can’t believe he was camping without room service. She says she has an urgent need for his help with something. She needs for him to go to therapy with her.

Oscar tells Kim that Julian is a grown man, and he’s just a kid. How much of a hard time could he give him?

Nelle tells Josslyn that it was scary at first, but she got used to it. She was sick, and needed help. She couldn’t get better on her own. She got the help she needed, but she was in control, and could change hospitals if she wanted to. It’s not the same for her mom, but a good doctor will help her regain some control, even if it’s not up to her. Josslyn wonders how long she’ll have to stay, when Michael brings in a package for Nelle. She says she wasn’t expecting anything, and takes out a T-shirt. She says it’s from a bar she went to in Florida with Chase.

Dante asks if Chase is stalking anyone else close to him. Chase says, sorry, and Dante says, for stalking Nelle or being an obsessed rookie. Chase says he’s not stalking Nelle; she tainted the case. Dante says failure to report it to the department opens them up to a lawsuit. Chase says he disclosed it to the commissioner during his interview, and he was hired anyway. Dante bets she doesn’t know the suspect was Nelle. They never would have been partnered. Chase says Dante has been openly hostile to him, and his father runs half the town along with Michael. How could he trust him?

And here’s where we came back in real time. To some commercials. <sigh>

Jason thinks he has the perfect cover, but Doc isn’t. Jason asks why Doc didn’t tell him he was on the staff, and Doc says he didn’t think it was relevant. He thought Carly was going to be at Shadybrook. It’s a good thing he’s going to be there, or who knows what meds they’d give Carly. Doc tells Jason that he has to quit – today.

More commercials. What?

Nelle says, it’s already starting. Chase is sending her a message. She takes out a note that says, hey, Janelle, remember when? C. Josslyn asks what the problem is, and Michael says it’s no problem he can’t handle. Josslyn says obviously something is going on they don’t want her to know about. She tells Nelle to give the baby a virtual hug from her and her mom.

Dante asks Chase what the plan is. Chase tells him not to trust Nelle. Another department ended up with the case, and she got away with murder. Dante suggests he might have wanted to get Michael to break up with her.

Jason tells Doc that Carly is there on her own, and he’s in the perfect position to keep an eye on her. Carly says Mary Pat is a psycho. Doc says he’s not beholding to her whims. Jason gained access to the facility under an assumed name. If they find out, things be much worse for Carly.

Ava tells David to admit what he did. David says he provided Kiki with knowledge and guidance. Ava says, and unwanted advances. When he came to the gallery, he wanted to tell her that Kiki might make up lies to cover her poor performance. Ava says her daughter is not a liar. David looks forward to suing her for slander. Ava says his reputation will be in tatters when she’s done. He says he’s not the one who came on to Kiki; she came on to him. Ava slaps him, just as Kiki and Griff show up. David says, like mother like daughter. Griff tells him to leave now. David says, they’re all his.

Julian asks if Alexis means like couples therapy. Alexis says they’re not a couple; the therapy is for her. He’d be a guest star. He’s not sure he understands. She says they have an issue, and it was suggested she work through in a safe, neutral environment. She says it’s important. She has a lot of questions, and few answers.

Julian says he’ll think about it. He’d like to help, but she made clear they’re leading separate lives. She says they wouldn’t be talking about the present and future; strictly the past, and how it relates to hers. He asks if she means rehashing every gory detail, and she says, yes. He says, who wouldn’t agree?

Griff asks Ava if David said anything incriminating, but Ava says, no. Kiki says this is why she didn’t tell her. If she gets in trouble, it will weaken the case. She’s hired Alexis, but they need more evidence. They’re hoping the article prompts someone to come forward. Ava asks, what if it doesn’t? She needs to come up with an alternate solution. What would Victor do? Kiki says, he’s dead. No one is fighting her battle on her behalf.

Nelle tells Michael that she can’t stand Chase lurking around. She told him to back off, but he’s completely obsessed. Michael says he’s up against the two most influential families in Port Charles – on both sides of the law. She thanks him, and digs around in her bag. She says her perfume is gone.

Josslyn tries to study, but can’t concentrate. She takes the bottle of Morgan’s cologne out of her bag, and smells it. What did I miss? How did she get it?

Michael tells Nelle maybe the staff put it away; it’s just perfume. Why the big deal? She says, he’s right. She’s being ridiculous, and needs to relax. Michael suggests a bath, and she says, sounds like a plan. She goes upstairs, and Michael gets out his laptop.

Chase tells Dante that Nelle putting Carly in Ferncliff wasn’t exactly the plan, but undermining her was. Nelle wanted Michael, and Carly was the last obstacle. Nelle is good at the long game. Things don’t add up until you factor in a third party. He should have come forward sooner. The longer Nelle is on the  loose, the greater the danger.

Michael talks to Spinelli on the phone, saying it’s definitely working. Nelle is deleting her history every day. The last thing she looked up was Chase, which is no surprise. Michael sees an order form for a T-shirt from Florida. He looks over at the shirt Nelle received, and says, she had it sent to herself.

Jason tells Doc that he needs to be there to make sure Carly is okay. Carly says Mary Pat acts like it’s her kingdom. Doc says if she realizes they’re connected, he and Jason will both be out. If he’s removed, she could be held indefinitely in a haze of meds or worse. Jason needs to bow out now before he’s recognized by someone else. Jason says it’s Carly’s call. Carly says she’ll risk it. She wants him there. Jason says he’s staying.

Tomorrow, Kim tells Julian that he makes his own choices, Obrecht has score to settle with Anna, and Valentin finds someone he was looking for.

The Real Housewives of New York City

LuAnn’s dog! Two days post rehab, and Dorinda visits. She says LuAnn looks bright eyed and bushy tailed, and LuAnn says she is. She made it back, and is feeling really, really good. It was hard to leave; it was like she was in a cocoon. Exercise, therapy, acupuncture, and massage. In her interview, LuAnn says being back in New York will have its challenges. There are parties and dinners with everyone drinking. She lives a fast lifestyle, and it won’t be easy. Dorinda tells her about Grace Mayflower hotel, where they have a great spa. In her interview, Dorinda says LuAnn is slowly reentering them and society. She wants to get there early, and make sure LuAnn gets the nicest room. LuAnn says her worst room was in jail. This sounds like paradise. She’s happy to see them, but heard through the grapevine, Ramona tried to get invited to Tom’s New Year’s Eve party, which happens to be on the same boat where they held their  rehearsal dinner. What’s wrong with her? In her interview, LuAnn says it’s mind-blowing for Ramona to even consider something like that and call herself a friend. Dorinda says she’s a real slob kabob.

Bethenny picks up Sonja, calling her limo her outdoor house. Carole, Ramona, and Tinsley ride together. Carole is looking forward to seeing LuAnn, and asking her what happened. She says the worst thing to do is walk on eggshells. Ramona says she would have freaked out and been mortified. Carole says LuAnn’s dress was the real crime. Meow!

Luann tells Dorinda there will be a resolution in what they’re charging her with. Right now, it’s four felonies, which her lawyer intends to argue down. She doesn’t have to make an appearance yet. Dorinda asks if she went straight to the crime scene in Florida. LuAnn says she was staying at a friend’s house who had been a bridesmaid. The friend’s cat was driving her crazy, so she decided to go to a hotel. It didn’t seem to register didn’t register which one it was. In her interview, she admits her decisions were not of those of a clear mind. She was drinking her emotions away, and self-sabotaging. When the cops came, she hid in the bathroom like a child. In her interview, Dorinda says the only correct response to a cop is, say you’re sorry, agree with them, and start crying. LuAnn says she was being rambunctious, and met up with a polo player. She pushed the wrong floor, and ended up in the wrong room, where they started kissing. Security came, and her date went to find a mutual friend. By the time he came back, she was in handcuffs. She didn’t sleep the entire night, an was in a sundress with no shoes. They threw her a bologna sandwich. She says the last time she had one was probably forty years ago. She took a big bite, and inside was the mustard packet. Omg, I’m dying. She’s even laughing. She says it was hanging out of her mouth like a dead fish, and she was pathetic. Dorinda says it must feel hopeless if you don’t have he resources to deal with it, and get stuck in the system. LuAnn says they put shackles on her in the courtroom. Dorinda wonders why it was necessary, and LuAnn suggest it’s because she tried to slip out of the handcuffs. Oh man, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I too know what its like to get stuck in the system. Not that particular one, thank God, but close, and we’ll leave it at that. A story for another time.

Dorinda and LuAnn arrive.The cottage is a humongous six-bedroom house. LuAnn asks for sparkling water, and Dorinda suggests adding pink dye. LuAnn insists she’s fine. She’s past that point, and feels strong in her commitment to not drink for now. She wants to chill and be Zen.

Bethenny is looking forward to the spa aspect, and hasn’t thought about the LuAnn aspect yet. It doesn’t feel right not riding with Carole though. Anything that’s upset her, is something she heard from someone else, and the someone else Is Dorinda. It’s like a wound she kept pouring salt into. There’s something about Bethenny that Dorinda isn’t into, but Bethenny is into going to the spa.

Dorinda greets everyone wearing a huge fur hat. Bethenny brought detox gift bags. LuAnn says she was on the hamster wheel. Her drinking worked, making her feel better until it made her feel worse. She had a major lesson in humility. Bethenny doesn’t think the Countess has fallen that far. Once she got to know LuAnn, she realized the emperor had no clothes. We flash back to some Countess moments. Bethenny says the last person to realize she wasn’t such a countess was the Countess. LuAnn says she’s inspired Dorinda to drink less, and Sonja says they’ve all been headed in this direction – getting healthier, not locked up. Bethenny wants to get her room, but Dorinda thinks they should wait for the others. In her interview, Bethenny says Dorinda wants to be her boss. Dorinda says someone is going to have to share, and Bethenny volunteers. In her interview, Dorinda says she feels like her friendship with Bethenny is like the weather report. Does she carry an umbrella or put on a bathing suit? Sonja stares into LuAnn’s soul, and they hug. Sonja tells LuAnn that she’d gotten an invitation to Tom’s party. Sonja says she and Tom are friends, but she’s there for LuAnn, and he knows it. She tells LuAnn that Ramona wasn’t invited, but called him to try to get on the guest list. Dorinda says for her, it’s just a party, but it’s very uncool. Sonja says Ramona wouldn’t miss the opening of an envelope. LuAnn says Ramona was texting her support the whole time. She needs to confirm it, but believes it 100%.

The others arrive. Carole is a little nervous. LuAnn looks good, and seems in good spirits, so that immediately makes her feel better. Ramona says LuAnn gets the best room, and is the princess for the weekend. LuAnn asks how Ramona’s holidays were, but she doesn’t say anything about Tom’s party. In her interview, LuAnn says she’d respect Ramona more if she’d come out and tell her. Bethenny went to Aspen, and LuAnn says everyone’s holidays were better than hers. Tinsley wants to know how she got out of the handcuffs. LuAnn says she was in disbelief that she was being arrested for intoxication, and she was getting out of there. She tells the story again, adding she thinks the maid got security. The polo player even asked if that was her Blackberry, and she said, of course. She doesn’t have a Blackberry. They make plans to meet for dinner, and everyone steals fruit for their room. Bethenny says it’s a hard reentry for LuAnn, with NYC and the group.

Carole asks Tinsley what she thinks. She wonders if LuAnn is doing too great, and doesn’t know what she’s talking about, getting the felonies dropped to misdemeanors. In her interview, Tinsley says because of this, her mugshot keeps popping up again in searches. Thanks, LuAnn. The girls end up in LuAnn’s room, and Carole asks if she remembers how to order in a restaurant. Ramona crashes the party, and is thrilled everyone is happy. She’s proud of LuAnn, and says it’s about friendships; it’s what sustains them, and makes life more full. In her interview, LuAnn says, tell her again how girlfriends treat each other, all the time knowing what was done behind her back.

The group gets a private dining room. Ramona asks the server to take photos. In her interview, LuAnn says she doesn’t expect the others not to not to drink, and it’s a good test of her strength. They talk nonsense, about who plays music when getting busy. Carole jokes that she likes the television on. LuAnn tells Bethenny about Ramona looking for an invite to Tom’s party, and Bethenny says that’s effed up. LuAnn says it was on the boat where they got married. Ramona finally pays attention, and says she was the guest of a friend who wanted to go. In her interview, she doesn’t think she did anything wrong. She knows who he is, and accepts it. Bethenny asks if she texted LuAnn, saying if it was Mario, she’d let Ramona know. In her interview, Ramona doesn’t understand why they’re so upset. LuAnn knew she was dating Tom, and dated him behind her back. We flash back to Tom trying to distance himself from Ramona after the engagement. She insists she didn’t want to go. In her interview, LuAnn says Ramona has FOMO. We find out that Tom told Ramona that he was over his limit. LuAnn says that’s what FOMOs do. They put themselves first. Bethenny says LuAnn got married on that boat. Ramona says she wasn’t even invited; let’s call a spade a spade. I call it getting back at LuAnn because she wasn’t invited.

LuAnn says Ramona makes Benedict Arnold look like Betsy Ross. Carole says, bad call, and Ramona agrees she shouldn’t have done it. Sonja would be happy with one of her fake apologies at this point. Ramona says she’s invited Tom to her next party, then says she’s kidding. LuAnn suggests she improve her joke telling skills.

Back at the cottage, there’s a spread, but everyone is tired. Bethenny tells Sonja that Ramona is a terrible human being. Ramona tells Dorinda that she’s not perfect, and Dorinda says it’s about being loyal. Ever the hoarder, Sonja wants to keep the tissue from the gift bags. She and Bethenny try out some sheet masks and tongue scrapers. Sonja thinks she’s detoxing. There’s stuff coming out of her nose. I don’t want to know.

Dorinda brings LuAnn coffee. She says LuAnn is making them all want to go to rehab. LuAnn says it’s a big difference from the last time she woke up with them. We flash back to five weeks ago, where LuAnn woke up begging for water, and Bethenny was asking if Betty Ford was open. LuAnn says she could be upset with Ramona, but she’s kind of pathetic, and has no remorse. In her interview, LuAnn wonders if Ramona is so stupid, she didn’t think LuAnn would find out.

Everyone gathers in LuAnn’s room. Sonja models her slipper shoes from her line. They have the family crest on them, and she shows off her ring with it, saying it’s from her ex-husband. Dorinda scoffs, saying it’s her ex’s family, and she would feel like an idiot wearing Ralph’s family tartan. In her interview, Dorinda says, you don’t get a bloodline by injection, or from sleeping with someone. If you could, Sonja would have every title out there. Bethenny points out the monogram on Dorinda’s luggage. Sonja says she’s still very much a part of her ex’s family.

Back in their room, Bethenny tells Sonja, wtf? She thought they were relaxing and being nurtured. In her interview, Bethenny says Dorinda enjoys badgering Sonja, and it’s not a fair fight. She suggests she be Mrs. Mayflower and have the nutcracker as her crest.

Luann says she’s getting calls from her publicist, who’s been fielding calls left and right. Everyone knows she’s out of rehab because Ramona put a picture of them on social media. The judge told her to keep a low profile, and no drinking. The last thing she wants is a group shot being shared, where it looks like she’s out partying. This is supposed to be a relaxing spa weekend, and she’s hiding in corners, avoiding the press. Bethenny thinks it’s unacceptable behavior. Carole tells Ramona not to post any more pictures. Ramona doesn’t get it, saying it’s all about a happy moment, and everyone looks great. In her interview, Ramona says everything she does ends up being a negative. When she posted the photo, it wasn’t anything intentionally bad or against LuAnn, but Ramona is getting screwed somehow. Because it must be about her.

Next time, LuAnn calls out Ramona, Ramona didn’t get the memo, and Bethenny isn’t feeling safe with Dorinda.

💔 On Watch What Happens Live, Tinsley said she and Scott were on a break. I don’t know what’s sadder – that news, or that I’m bummed about it.

🔪 On MasterChef, the contestants split into two teams. They had to feed the workers at the Busch brewery, and the surprise ingredient was no surprise, since it was beer. The red team made beer battered fish, and the blue team did chicken. The main gripes were not enough food, the batter falling off the fish, and two bun tops on one sandwich. The red team won, and since Chelsea was the blue team captain, she got to save three members of her crew. She was ready for the backlash, saying she was used to people hating her. The ones who were left, got banana cream pie as a pressure test. The main problem here was over-whipped cream, but Gordon said there was one person who was flustered and unprepared. They knew who they were, and he wanted them to leave with dignity and take off their apron. Darrick undid his apron strings. Gordon said he started strong, but ran out of steam. Darrick was proud of having made it to the top twenty, and he wasn’t done cookin’ yet. Next time, a visit from a soccer player (not David Beckham), and a challenge that looks like it involves shellfish.

☕ Gordon descended on the Old Coffee Pot restaurant in the French Quarter on 24-Hours to Hell and Back. Established in 1894, the current owner’s wife had left him and the kids, and his second in command, Dawn, was manipulative and lazy. After the sneaking around, Gordon exposed the filthy conditions, including a poor, dead mouse in the toaster. Although that was nothing next to the live rats that roamed the kitchen when no one was around. Dawn got the boot, and Gordon did his thing; cleaning, redecorating, and revamping the menu, making it modern, but with old world charm. And the staff got new attitudes to go with it. Despite a shaky moment with some raw chicken, they were off to a good, new start. Dustin realized the solution rested with him. Gordon told them his time was done, but didn’t leave before he presented them with a new toaster – for bread. Next time, an LA restaurant owner is broken by tragedy.

🏊 Summer is Officially Here…




June 17, 2018 – What’s Not on TV, a Visit from the 70s, NOLA Split, Father’s Day & My Dad


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


There was no Fear the Walking Dead tonight, and how will they ever top last week anyway? I was able to watch 90 Day Fiancé: Happily, Ever After? fresh (dissection of it coming soon), and Westworld on the first rerun encore performance. I also checked out The Real Housewives of Potomac, but I’m just not feeling these girls. I’m not sure I ever did. I think if you look up the definition of boushetto in the urban dictionary, their pictures are there. Although Karen did give up a good quote – You don’t know me to be a liar, but we do know you to be a fool.

And of course there’s the elephant in the room, Talking with Chris Hardwick, that was supposed to premiere tonight, but didn’t. That whole thing has bummed me out. I find it sad that, as beautiful a thing as the internet can be, it seems to create an easy judge and jury for just about everything. Maybe it’s just me, but I like getting all the facts first. The only fact I have so far is that he was possibly a d-bag and took advantage in a previous relationship. If people start losing their jobs over that, there will be precious few people working. Especially in the entertainment business where egos are humongous. In other words, I fail to see how this situation is anything close to that of a Harvey Weinstein or Bill Cosby, or even a Louis C.K. Yet this guy has already been hung out to dry. And the internet makes it way too easy. The Wicked Witch of the West said it best – what a world… what a world.

That being said, moving on…

🚀 Recommendations from the Wayback Machine…

Last week, I stepped back to the 70s with The Warriors, a surprisingly well-crafted film for its time, 1979. The scene symmetry and use of place are sophisticated, and the costumes alone make it worth watching, although the dialogue is often unintentionally funny. While completely unbelievable, the plot is simple. All the gangs in NYC are called to a meeting. One of the leaders suggests all the gangs band together, making them a force to be reckoned with. He’s shot and killed at the big rally, and the wrong gang, the Warriors, are blamed. They have to make it from Coney Island to the Bronx, various gangs coming after them along the way. One of my favorites were the Furies, who wore baseball uniforms and Kiss/Rocky Horror-ish make-up. It was also fun seeing Deborah Van Valkanburgh (Too Close for Comfort) acting like she was in a high school production of Grease. I’m endlessly glad they did not remake this film.

Check out the costumes:

Sadly, The Hills Have Eyes – the 1977 gem I followed The Warriors with – did get remade. It was horrifying all right, but not in a good way. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s just not the same without Michael Berryman. Forget Hills Have Eyes II, which is basically clips from the first film, strung together in a barely cohesive way. Stick with the original. Another straightforward plot. A family from Cleveland (which has never ceased to amuse me, since I’m originally from the area) get lost in the desert, and become the unfortunate victims of a feral family living in a cave. A true B-picture, a lot of it is over-the-top fake, but there are a few chills, a few laughs, and like I said, Michael Berryman.

🍹 I was sad to hear that Reagan and Jeff from Southern Charm New Orleans were splitting up. Who gets the little dogs???

👔 Last But Not Least…

A heartfelt, albeit late, Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there. No matter who or what you are the father of, be it blood relation or a chosen role. Here are some quotes for you:,%202018_08_44_15

🏆 It Takes Someone Special…

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that’s why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right.Wade Boggs

I was raised by my father most of my life. I’m part sailor, part farmer, part craftsman. I was taught I could be anything I wanted to be, but that I needed to work for it. Although he worked an eight to ten hour a day job, he never missed an awards ceremony or a school assembly where parents were invited. He always took time to listen, and was never less than fair. As he said about his own father, the older I got, the smarter my father got. I also realized that, even though it embarrassed me how we opened the refrigerator door with a screwdriver, everyone loved to gather at my house. They knew that no matter who they were, if they were my friends, they’d be welcomed with open arms and an open heart. He passed away shortly before I got married, and I’ll miss him until we meet again.

👑 My Dad…


June 13, 2018 – Jason Finds a Way In, LuAnn Gets Out, Two Chefs Go Home, More Gordon & Coffee


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly tells herself to stay strong, stay focused, go home. She rocks back and forth as she repeats it, which isn’t exactly a good look if she doesn’t want to stay there.

Nina meets Curtis and Sam at The Floating Rib. Curtis introduces Sam as his new partner. Nina says it’s quite a change from Aurora. She asks why Curtis wanted to see her, and he says they need her help to catch Henrik

Valentin puts a record on the turntable. Since vinyl is back, I assume I don’t have to explain what a record is.

Alexis, Kiki. and Elizabeth meet at not Kelly’s, since Kiki wants to keep it private. Valentin sends Alexis a text, saying he has something for her. Alexis shows Kiki a copy of the paper. She says when the article comes out, it will send shockwaves through GH. On the front is Kiki’s picture, with the headline #GHTOO?

Ava asks if Griff knew, and if that’s why he and Kiki are inseparable.

Franco reads the paper in the locker room. David walks in.

At Pizzulo’s Sonny talks to Diane on the phone. He asks how soon Carly can be transferred to Shadybrook. Jason walks in. Mike is there reading car ads, and says he sees a Bel Air, like he used to have. Sonny tells him that wasn’t his car, and tells Diane that’s not soon enough. Jason talks to Mike about going for a drive, and Sonny tells him that Mike isn’t allowed to drive. Jason suggests they just hang there for a while. Sonny tells Diane that she did this, and she has to fix it. Sonny is pissed, and Mike tells Jason, that’s his son, always even tempered. Good thing his wife keeps him in line.

Carly does crunches. The nurse calls her Caroline, and says she’s surprised Carly is up so early. Carly explains that nobody calls her Caroline, and the nurse asks if she’s nobody. She tells Carly that her name is Mary Pat, and she’s the supervising nurse. She sees that Carly is the owner of the MetroCourt, and says, very swanky. She had dinner there once, and it was pricey. She says Carly must be used to being in charge out there, but she’s in charge in here. Mary Pat continues to call her Caroline, and says everyone goes wild for that song when they have their sing-alongs. Carly says she’s not much of a singer, but Mary Pat tells her that she doesn’t have to be Karen Carpenter; just have fun. The road to healing is paved with positive thought.

Sonny throws something, and Mike tells him possessions aren’t like trash. Like his mom used to say, no one is made of money. He tells Jason it was take your father to work day. Sonny, Jason, and Mike sit at a table. Mike says it’s business, not family, but Sonny says they might be able to use his ideas. Mike asks, to do what? and Sonny says, to bring Carly home.

Carly tells Mary Pat that she’ll keep the singalong in mind, but hopes she’s not there long enough to be a regular. Mary Pat says, that’s the spirit. Many patients have a poor outlook like it’s the end of the road. Carly promises to set a good example; she has a family to get back to. Mary Pat notes that she has a boy and a girl, not counting her deceased son.

Curtis tells Nina that her brother would be alive if Valentin had told the truth. Nina says she’s struggling with that, but whatever Valentin’s involvement was, he didn’t intend for anyone to get hurt. She’s not going to deliberately seek revenge on her husband. Sam asks, what about Peter?

Alexis thinks Kiki should take the day off, but Kiki says she’s ready for whatever comes her way.

Ava tells Griff that her daughter was sexually harassed, and she had to find out from the paper like everyone else. He says he just found out too. He suspected something was going on, but not this. Ava wonders why Kiki wouldn’t have told her, and Griff thinks she felt she could handle it alone. Ava says she’s a failure as a mother. Her own daughter couldn’t talk to her. Griff says she’s not a failure. That’s her courageous daughter speaking out about injustice at a great cost. All they can do is be there for her. Ava says Kiki won’t respond to her calls or texts, and Griff says, same here. Ava asks if Griff has any idea who the bastard is. Griff remembers David looking for the men’s room in the dressing room at the Nurses’ Ball, and Kiki crying about being stressed.

Franco tells David, the news these days, there’s always something. David says that’s why he doesn’t follow it too much; he has work to focus on. Franco says being the chief resident, a lot of responsibility is resting on his broad shoulders. It’s enough to make anyone tense. He asks David to let him help get the kinks out, and presses his shoulder with the Vulcan death grip. He tells David that Kiki is like a daughter to him, and asks how the Shadow Program is going. David says she’s not shadowing him anymore, and Franco asks, why? Did something happen? David says he’ll have to ask Kiki. Franco picks up the paper and says it’s right there. There no names, but he can read between the lines. David claims he doesn’t know what Franco is talking about, and Franco slams him up against the lockers.

David tells Franco to let go or he’ll have him arrested. Franco thinks David should be exterminated, like a cockroach. David insists it has nothing to do with him. Franco’s history makes him a more likely candidate. Franco is about to blow, and Elizabeth walks in.

Griff tells Ava that Kiki didn’t name names. Ava says he must suspect someone, since he’s close to her. He says it’s only speculation, and she tells him to speculate away. She wonders why he’s so secretive when it comes to Kiki. What is it he’s not telling her? Kiki walks in.

Sonny tells Jason and Mike that Diane petitioned the court to have Carly transferred, but it’s not an option. Mike calls Ferncliff a nuthouse, and asks why Carly is there. Sonny says there was a misunderstanding, and someone got hurt. It went to court, and the judge said it was Carly’s fault. Mike asks if she got convicted of a crime she didn’t do, and Jason says, right. Carly is innocent. Mike says they don’t send people to the mental hospital for no reason. Sometimes people need to have people watch out for them when they can’t hack it for themselves, like him.

Carly tells Mary Pat that Morgan counts; he’s still her son. Mary Pat says he’s deceased. Face it, that’s why she’s here. She needs to address it head on. Now it’s time to discuss the rules, and how they apply to her.

Curtis says that Peter escaped, and Valentin was in his cell, with no sign of a struggle. Peter left, and Valentin took his place; he must have had an escape route. Curtis needs Nina to help prove it. Sam says, if they find Peter, Nina will get justice. Nina asks what they want her to do.

Valentin tells Alexis that he has the papers. They’re signed and ready for execution. An aria plays, and Alexis asks what that is. Valentin asks if she doesn’t recognize her mother’s voice. She asks if he just happened to drop the needle on it when she rang the doorbell. He says it’s a rare recording; he gingerly placed the needle. It’s the only one of its kind. She recorded it for an audience of one; their father. It’s the second half of his payment for services rendered. She’d like to discuss the first payment. The watch clearly wasn’t his. He says it was commissioned as a gift for her mother.

Franco tells Elizabeth that the doctor and he had a little chat. Elizabeth tells him stop, and he lets go of David, who leaves. Elizabeth asks if he’s kidding; he could get arrested. David is the chief resident. Franco says he’s the chief of something, and shows her the paper. He says David has been harassing Kiki. Elizabeth asks if he admitted it, and Franco says he didn’t have to. He did this to Kiki. He’s smug and arrogant, and in a position of power. Franco isn’t going to let him ruin someone else’s life. She asks if he’s talking about Kiki or himself.

Ava tells Kiki that she’s sorry this is happening to her. She says she didn’t tell anyone. Ava asks if she didn’t want to talk to anyone, or just her. Kiki says it happened faster than she expected, and she tuned her phone off. Alexis is representing her, and they’re prepared to go to court. Ava thinks they should take steps to keep the bastard from hounding her. She asks Kiki to give her his name, and Julian will make sure of it. She’s not leaving Kiki unprotected. Kiki tells Ava to trust her, and leave it alone. She leaves, and Ava is about to follow, but Griff tells her to wait.

Sonny tells Mike that Carly isn’t getting the help she needs, so Diane is getting her transferred. Mike says, family takes care of family, and Carly is stuck somewhere that’s no good for her. Jason says it’s worse than prison; Carly shouldn’t be there. Mike agrees, and suggests they break her out. They all look at each other.

Mary Pat tells Carly that the main wing is over capacity, and it’s a sad commentary on the state of mental health care. For now, she’s in the super max wing, where they house the most dangerous and violent patients. She’ll only be there until a room opens. In the main wing, unlike her neighbors, she’ll have day privileges. Mary Pat gives her a pamphlet. It contains the rules, and the penalties for violating said rules. She continues to call Carly Caroline, and has her turn to the last section, where it says they’re to have tolerance for other patients, and respect for the staff. Mary Pat says, disrespect is not tolerated. She doesn’t want trouble, and if Carly comes up against her, she’ll find plenty of it. Carly says she just wants to go home. Mary Pat says then she’s going to follow the rules, and accept the doctor’s treatment. She’d rather be an all-star than a problem patient. She wouldn’t like that at all.

Mike asks if he said something wrong. Sonny says they have to go through the legal system. The DA went after Carly because she’s his wife. Jason says they have to make sure she doesn’t get herself stuck there longer. He has an idea, and says he’ll keep Sonny updated. He leaves, and Mike says, Jason is a strange one. He’s a nice guy on the surface, but has ice water in his veins. He asks where Sonny dug him up, and Sonny says they go way back. Mike says he’s the kind of guy you steer clear of; an enforcer. The kind that works for a ruthless bastard, who wants to own the world. He didn’t want that for Sonny.

Mary Pat asks Carly what she’s going to be, and Carly says, an all-star. That’s what Mary Pat likes to hear. Rupert is there with her meds. Just the first of many. Rupert is a pretty big guy. Like pro-wrestler big.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he could kill David. Kiki is practically family. Elizabeth says she’s an adult. He needs to trust that she knows what she’s doing, and support her fighting back. He wonders why she didn’t come to him. Elizabeth says it’s hard to find the right words and tell someone. They agree they both missed out when supportive families were being given out.

Ava tracks down Kiki in the hospital. Kiki tells her not to make a scene; she doesn’t need more eyes on her. She says it’s not about Ava, and Ava says it is; she’s Kiki’s mother. Kiki says it didn’t get serious until after she broke up with Dylan. She thought she could handle it, and was afraid to lose the respect of her coworkers. Ava says it’s understandable, except why didn’t Kiki turn to her? Kiki says she couldn’t take her on too. She has her own approach to things, and her own standards, especially when it comes to the truth and sex. They look at it differently. Ava uses sex as strategy and a weapon.

Valentin tells Alexis the watch belonged to her mother; he found it on Cassadine Island. She thinks it’s convenient how he suddenly found it. He asks if she doubts him, and she says she has trust issues. He shows her a picture of her mother wearing the watch. His phone rings, and it’s Nina, who asks him to meet her at The Floating Rib. He says he’ll be right there. Alexis asks if she can keep the picture, and he says, of course. He still hasn’t told her why he gave her the watch. He says, it’s beautiful. If nothing else, it proves how much Mikkos cared about her mother.

Curtis asks Nina if she thinks she can keep Valentin busy long enough for them to look for Peter. He helped Peter escape; who knows where he might be hiding? Nina doesn’t think they’re going to find him at Wyndemere. She gets a text from Obrecht, saying their guest requires more painkillers.

We see two people sneaking in somewhere. A hand puts a code in the alarm to turn it off. It’s Curtis and Sam at Wyndemere. Sam explains where the tunnel is, and Curtis finds the way to access it above a China cabinet. Sam tells him that it’s dark and winding, and to be careful. He hopes Nina can keep Valentin busy long enough.

Nina tells Valentin they’re done. She wants a divorce.

Alexis looks at the picture. She opens her jewelry box, and takes out the watch, as the recording of her mother plays.

Ava tells Kiki to say how she really feels. Kiki says she didn’t want to talk about it. Ava knows It’s been a difficult morning, but that’s no reason to judge her. Kiki says it’s exactly what the Twitter trolls are accusing her of. What Ava does causes women not to be taken seriously. She doesn’t want Ava jumping in, taking over, and making threats. Let her do it her way. Ava says she’s made mistakes – many – but she’s changed. Being with Griff has made her a better person. She’s sorry Kiki can’t accept it. Kiki says, her too, and leaves. I notice Ava’s wonderful hoop earrings; a small hoop connected under a large one. I love a hoop.

Franco gets an email from Sarah.

Elizabeth asks Jason how Carly is doing. He hopes to find out. Elizabeth gives him a paper, and says she hopes it works

Mike says Sonny has fine mind. He’s smart and good with people. He could be a lawyer or a senator. Why is he wasting time with thugs and hoodlums? Sonny says they’ve had this argument, and he won every time. It’s doing no good to talk about it right. Mike says, right. They have more important things to talk about. Family takes care of family. He didn’t want to stay with Sonny, but it’s working. Don’t mess with success.   

Carly says it must be a mistake. She was only taking anti-anxiety medication, and it was supposed to be taken as needed. Mary Pat says her intake orders say lorazepam, risperidone, and lithium. Carly says lithium is a mood stabilizer, and risperidone is an anti-psychotic drug. She doesn’t need it, and doesn’t need lithium. Mary Pat says her intake orders say otherwise. Carly says it’s just a surprise, and takes the pills. Mary Pat says trust is earned; open up. She tells Carly to lift her tongue. Ha-ha! I knew it; there’s pill. Mary Pat says she thought so. Did Carly really think she could hide them? So much for being an all-star. Mary Pat says, Rupert, and he stands in front of Carly.

Curtis damn maze check out stable forget it peter not here found this might put on trail

Nina tells Valentin their marriage is over. She wants a divorce. Valentin says he’d give her the world, but not that.

Alexis puts on the watch, and admires it.

Franco wants to talk to Elizabeth. Her phone rings, and she asks if she can call back. She says, congratulations? Who told them she was getting married?

Griff asks if Ava talked to Kiki. She wishes she hadn’t. It turns out her daughter thinks she uses sex as leverage. She’s so ashamed that Kiki is maybe right. She cries in Griff’s arms.

Kiki sits in the locker room. David walks in.

Mary Pat tells Carly that she doesn’t like doing this, but Carly forced her hand. She holds Carly’s nose while Rupert restrains her, and puts the pills in her mouth. She tells Carly to swallow; she can do this all day. Carly swallows them, and coughs. Mary Pat says it’s easier with water and cooperation. She knows all the tricks, and can wait. Rupert tells her not to forget about her ten o’clock appointment. Mary Pat wonders if they should get the restraints; Carly is a duplicitous one. Carly swears she’ll be good, and Mary Pat says, we’ll see Caroline. Rupert cracks his knuckles.

Sonny tells Mike there’s no point in getting worked up about the future right now; they have the present to concentrate on. Mike says like the Bel Air he used to have. It’s not the car to drive around Brooklyn. Sonny says it attracts the wrong kind of attention. Mike tells him you can’t haul a body in the trunk of a car like that. Sonny doesn’t understand what he means, and Mike says he likes a lot of trunk space.

Mary Pat apologizes for keeping someone waiting, explaining there was a problem with a new patient. She says it’s nice to meet him, calling him Mr. Nichols, but it’s Jason. She looks at his resume, and says his letter of recommendation is impressive. She says GH is a fine institution, and asks why he wants to leave and come to Ferncliff. Jason says he heard he can pick up more shifts and make more money. She appreciates his honesty, and says it’s true; they have a hard time finding and keeping custodians. She tells him that many of the patients are seriously disturbed, and asks if he has a problem with that. He says, no, not at all. Rupert watches as Carly starts to fall asleep.

Tomorrow, Kiki tells David to cut the crap, Alexis asks Doc what’s wrong with her, Franco asks Elizabeth what’s going on, and Carly sees Jason.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Dorinda and Ramona are on their way to Bobby Zarin’s funeral. Ramona got a text. They knew it was going to happen, but it’s still sad. Ramona knew how close they were. We see clips of Jill and Bobby. Ramona says she and Jill had a heart-to-heart and whatever descension was between them, they decided to let it go. Life is too short. Ramona says Bethenny hasn’t seen her in six years.

Bethenny says Sonja called while she was in Aspen. We flash back to Bethenny and Jill deciding not to be friends anymore. Bethenny says, despite what happened, she and Bobby loved each other. We see a clip of the three of them having a good time. She says she took a private plane back, and is going to the funeral for Jill.

Dorinda says he was like a Richard, and it’s a loss to the world. They don’t make them like that anymore. She says Bobby held on for a long time. People might not understand, but at some level, it must be a relief for Jill. I totally get that.

Ramona says Bobby lived to make Jill happy. If she was happy, he was happy. She hopes she’s as lucky one day. We see Bobby toast Jill as his wife, lover, and best friend, and telling her that she’ll always have him.

Bethenny can’t leave. She wants to see Jill. She feels badly; not about their relationship, but Jill’s loss. Jill tells her that Bobby loved her, and Jill says she knows. Bethenny says it’s strange; he’s supposed to be next to her. Jill says she’s alone. She hasn’t been since she was twenty, and doesn’t know what to do. Bethenny says she’s alone too. She jokes with Jill, asking, where are the gift bags? and telling her it’s a terrible funeral. In her interview, Bethenny says Bobby would never tell Jill no, but ironically, the one time he did was when she told him to fix it between her and Bethenny. He said she was wrong and had to learn the lesson on her own. Although in the end, he did fix it – with his funeral.

Bethenny calls LuAnn. In her interview, LuAnn says she saw Bobby before she went ot Florida. He was already going home with hospice care, so she knew he was dying. She didn’t expect to get arrested and miss the funeral. She met him even before she met Jill. Bethenny says she’s sorry LuAnn isn’t there. LuAnn is sorry too, but not sorry; she’s learning a lot. She spent New Year’s Eve in treatment. She didn’t know anyone, and was scared. Bethenny says she’s sorry; it sounds lonely. LuAnn says it was a different New Year’s Eve than she’d planned, but thankful. Bethenny can’t wait for her to get back. In her interview, Bethenny says she’s never heard LuAnn so raw, vulnerable, and honest. She thinks LuAnn has been humbled. She’s shocked by way LuAnn is handing it. Bethenny tells the driver (not Kevin) that she can’t take any more emotion. Geez, I can’t. This is making me sad.

Carole meets Tinsley, and they to go to the hotel steam room. Carole points out that it’s hot, and Tinsley says, it’s supposed to be. She says there are great amenities at the hotel. Carole asks if Sonja is a mess. Tinsley doesn’t care anymore; it’s easier to be friendly. Carole says it’s the same with Bethenny. She doesn’t know if Bethenny really sees what she did wrong, but thinks she’s genuinely realized it affected their friendship, and was upset about it. In her interview, Carole says they’re fine, then something happens, they discuss it, it’s fine, and then something else happens. Um… maybe that’s how it goes with some friendships. Tinsley says her mom is coming to town, and she’s trying to prepare.

Ramona is in shock to see her house under construction. She says it looks like she’s starting from scratch, and the construction dude says she is. She has no budget, and he tells her she’d get mad if she knew how much she was spending. There’s no kitchen, and Ramona thinks she should come back when it’s done. She can’t believe there’s nothing there. He says she asked for a new house, and she says, be careful what you wish for.

Tinsley’s mother, Dale, arrives, along with Bambi the chihuahua. Tinsley fawns over Bambi, as I would. She tells her mom that she’s keeping him this time. Her mom asks how Sonja’s visit was, and Tinsley says they had a great time. We see some clips of them goofing around on the terrace, and waving to the neighbors. She says they’re friends again, and she’s super happy. They go to the hotel bar for a drink. Bambi rubs his head on the dog bed like a lunatic, as my dogs do. Celebrity pets – they’re just like ours!

Dale tells Tinsley that she was drinking too much last year. Tinsley says she was getting over the pain, and can’t believe Dale is going there. They get some red wine. In her interview, Tinsley says her mother knows the things she says will probably piss her off, but she can’t help herself. That’s what moms are for. Dale gives her some papers she got in the mail, regarding Tinsley’s egg storage fee. Dale wonders what happens if you don’t pay, but Tinsley doesn’t think they thaw them out. She says this is just one more opportunity for Dale to bring it up. She wasn’t happy with some of the conversation at Christmastime. Dale kept bringing up babies and weddings with Scott. Dale says she did do something bad. She was talking to Scott, and his mother said he had plenty of time, and Dale said Tinsley doesn’t. And if it’s not working out, he should jump ship. Tinsley is horrified, but Dale thinks it’s hysterical that she said jump ship, since they were on a boat. Tinsley looks like she just got a headache, and asks why her mother is making a joke about this. It’s her life; don’t ruin her relationship. In her interview, Tinsley is afraid Dale is going to scare Scott off. She shouldn’t be around him until Tinsley has a ring or walks down the aisle. Dale suggests Tinsley try on wedding dresses, and Tinsley was hoping she would say that. She says they’re not telling Scott.

Carole is writing an article on self-esteem and confidence, and gets call from Michele at Cosmopolitan. It’s due on Monday, but she hasn’t begun it; she’s allergic to deadlines. Michele tells her to send a draft, then come in and they’ll chat about it. It’s a good excuse to get together and gossip. In her interview, Carole says she hasn’t seen Adam in two months. For all she knows, he could be engaged. She doesn’t think so though.

Tinsley and Dale go to the wedding dress showroom. They tell the concierge, or whatever he is, that they’re just there to play. He tells them, if you buy the dress, the party will come, and gets champagne. It’s kind of fun watching him work. In her interview, Tinsley says the first wedding was about her and her mom, not Topper. They had to kick him out early because he had too many opinions.  They look at dresses, and Tinsley says she needs big, poufy, and ballgown. I’m not sure if I like the first one. I’m bad at gown descriptions, but the skirt is half satiny, and the bottom half is netting that I’m not feeling. The next one is more whimsical and fun, and more for me. It’s got a beautiful embroidered netting overlay. The concierge puts a veil on her, and she says she’s starting to feel the possibilities of getting married again are real. Dale says it’s too bad they have no groom. Tinsley says there’s no ring in her future yet. The concierge asks if he knows they’re here, and Tinsley says, don’t tell him.

Dale and Tinsley sit on the loveseat and sip champagne. Tinsley says, wedding dresses, baby eggs. They have everything set up; they just need a husband. In her interview, Tinsley tells us the eggs are just an insurance policy. She’s going to try the old-fashioned way first. Dale is glad she has them. They call Tinsley’s fertility specialist to pay for the egg storage. They talk about what steps happen to create and embryo, and the doctor shows her a picture of her unfertilized eggs. Dale and Tinsley both start crying, and I think they’re insane. Tinsley says they’re her babies. In her interview, she says they’re potentially her children. Tinsley tells Dale that she’s going to do more off them, and Dale wants more eggs right now. Tinsley wants the picture so she can frame it.

Sonja is back at her townhouse. Bethenny visits, wearing SkinnyGirl jeans. Bethenny gives her a few more pairs. Sonja says her business ventures are her creative outlet, and says the shoes she’s wearing are from her collection. She says Sonja Morgan/New York is going strong, and she just got her first licensing deal. Bethenny tells her about visiting Jill with Brynn, after explaining Shiva to her. She didn’t think it was the time to take on a new emotional conversation, but Jill couldn’t believe she was meeting Brynn. Brynn said, hi, to Bobby’s picture. Jill admitted she was wrong, and Bethenny believed her; she seemed different. She wasn’t the same person. She was calm and real. Bethenny is happy there was closure, but wants to keep where it is. In her interview, Sonja says she believed they still cared about each other.

Sonja is glad her house is back in order. We see some before and after clips, and it looks great. She says she’s jealous of the people moving in now. Bethenny suggests she put her fax machine in a dumpster. She hasn’t seen one since Starsky and Hutch. Who is she faxing? Sonja tells Bethenny about her staycation with Tinsley, and shows her the Louis Vuitton thank you gift. I looked this tote up out of curiosity, and it runs about nine hundred bucks. Sonja says it was fun, and she had a nice time. Bethenny wishes she could give LuAnn a hug. She says even seeing Ramona, she felt a connection; they’ve been through so much together. She doesn’t have anger. Ramona doesn’t even know what she does. Bethenny says she’s getting sentimental, and wonders what happened to her.

The ladies (minus LuAnn) go to a workout place called Con-Body. It’s run by Coss, the owner and founder, who was in prison for seven years on a drug charge. Carole says they have to toughen up to keep up with LuAnn. She tells Coss about LuAnn’s arrest, and he asks if she’s married. Ha-ha! Coss is funny. They all get “mug shots,” and Dorinda says she’s afraid of being the next one. LuAnn’s mug shot reeks of cold and loneliness, and scared her so much, she changed her lifestyle. The workout area has bars on the doors. Tinsley says she’s been waiting for this day. This time, she’s prepared for her mug shot. Bethenny says she likes mellow exercise, not someone yelling at her. They do calisthenics. Carole asks Coss what he thinks about LuAnn going to jail, and he asks if she’s a woman of color. Bethenny says, she was on Halloween. He tells Carole that everyone who works there has been in prison. She thinks he should hire LuAnn. Tinsley says she thought she was the OG of jail.

Dorinda tells the others that LuAnn is glad not to be coming directly back to NYC; she’s going to Connecticut. She asked LuAnn if she’d be comfortable with the rest of them drinking, and she said it was fine. They talk about LuAnn being humble and vulnerable. Dorinda was glad she wasn’t one of those people who says they’ll never drink again; she just said she’d do her best. In her interview, Dorinda says LuAnn has outstanding issues, and can’t afford one more fumble. They take a group picture, and we see all their “mug shots” with LuAnn’s real one in the middle.

LuAnn leaves the treatment center. She says the past month has been eye-opening. We see news clips, and the clip of her arrest. She says she was shaken to the core. She calls Dorinda, and says she’s on her way home. She feels really good. Dorinda says it’s been a crazy winter. LuAnn says she didn’t have best last couple of years, and she didn’t really deal with it emotionally. She just kept it moving, and it bit her in the ass. In her interview, she says she was self-medicating and covering her emotions. Dorinda tells her if this didn’t happen, she might have kept going. In her interview, LuAnn says as she was standing in front of the judge, and he was reading the charges she couldn’t believe it was her. She knew she hit bottom, and needed to go to rehab. Dorinda says she must be healthy, and LuAnn says she is. She’s been working out, and lost weight. She can’t remember the last time she was able to be by herself to reflect and think. In her interview, she says she intends to change her life. She’s taking a break from alcohol, and seeing if she can enjoy herself without it. Dorinda tells her that they’re going to the Mayflower Spa. LuAnn says she just wants to be close to home, and can’t believe she said that. She heads to the Palm Beach airport.

Next time, Luann is back, Carole says her dress is the real crime (oh, snap!), the ladies take a trip to the spa, and Ramona is called out for socializing with Tom.

🗽 Bravo has been showing old episodes of the NYC Wives, and it’s fun to see long gone cast members, like Aviva. What a bizarre, nasty person she was. I miss her. And who could forget Kelly on Scary Island?

🍳 Tonight, on MasterChef, Gordon showed the contestants how to cook a crab, get the meat out of it, and plate it nicely using the shell. Those that did a lesser job had to recreate Gordon’s crab Benedict. Oddly enough, my local diner makes that, and it’s pretty good. (I live in a seafood-oriented area.) Gordon’s looked absolutely fabulous. I enjoyed watching them poach the eggs as well. I love a poached egg, and have a very vintage egg poacher; one of the few kitchen items I stole from the house when I moved away from home. At the end, Olosula and Stephanie were out, for not-so-great hollandaise sauce, and not completing a step, respectively. Next time, a trip to feed the workers at the Busch brewery, and a team challenge. MasterChef still has too many people for me to keep track of, so right now, my money is on Chelsea. She has purple and blue hair that I’m loving. Since it’s so early in the game, and I can’t taste the food, I’m just going for the look.

🍵 Gordon Ramsay has yet one more show that premiered tonight. In 24-Hours to Hell and Back, he’s on the road, going to restaurants on the brink of collapse, trying to save them in 24-hours. Using hidden cameras and a hidden Gordon, he checks out what they’re doing wrong, and then steps in. In the first episode, he visited a family-owned Italian restaurant in upstate New York. It was definitely hell. He gave them new décor, a new, smaller menu, and a billboard on a busy highway. Everything improved, but it looked like they could still use some attitude adjustment. No one wants to hear your bickering. This is kind of like that Michael Landon show, Highway to Heaven, but Gordon is the angel. Next time, a restaurant in the French Quarter, where Gordon finds a mouse in the toaster.

💤 And to All a Good Night… or Morning