Category Archives: Lisa Vanderpump

July 1, 2020 – When Nina Stole Ava’s Baby, a Refresh, Now We’re Talking, NJ Hired Hit, Proud Mom, Another Carrot, What’s Coming Up & Hooray


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Getting into the Wayback Machine, we open the door at November 7th, 2014.

Anna arrested Duke at The Floating Rib. Sonny was about to shoot Ava, but Michael intervened. Sonny said he didn’t know what Kiki had told Michael, but Michael said Kiki told him nothing; Franco did. Old Nina was at an apartment, rocking a baby like it was hers, and Madeline came in with baby supplies. Nina asked if Madeline had intentionally wrecked her marriage to Silas. Silas (Michael Easton before he was Finn) asked Nathan if there was any word on Nina, but Nathan said no, and Dante told Nathan that he had to arrest Sonny. Morgan told Kiki (who used to be Starr) not to worry; Sonny wouldn’t lay a finger on Ava until after the baby was born, but Kiki couldn’t believe Morgan left her mother alone with Sonny. She’d thought Morgan loved Ava, and now she was at Sonny’s mercy thanks to him. Sonny got a text saying Franco was dead, but Franco was at the pier.

Michael told Sonny that Franco had shown him something eye opening – Sonny admitting to killing AJ (Michael’s father). The necklace they’d found had a camera in it, and Franco had recorded Sonny and Carly’s tryst, where Sonny confessed to killing AJ, and Carly helped him cover it up. Ava said she saw it happen, and encouraged Michael to shoot Sonny. Sonny kept yelling at her to shut up, and Ava told Michael that she had to find her baby. Nina got a call from Franco, and she asked him how the wedding went. Dante told Nathan that Sonny got caught covering up the murder, and he had to do his job. Nathan offered to arrest Sonny, but Dante said, no. He knew this day was coming, and it was his job to handle it. Nathan said he was going to find himself in the same situation with his own mother – not Obrecht, but Madeline. Nina had an emotional breakdown and assaulted her husband, and he thought Madeline was helping her. Kiki wondered where Ava was, and Silas said he’d gotten a text from Ava, saying she was with Morgan. Kiki said that wasn’t possible, since Morgan was at the hospital. Anna told Duke that she saw the recording of Sonny confessing to AJ’s murder. Duke had lied to the police and her, and she was arresting him for perjury, obstruction of justice, and being an accessory after the fact in AJ’s murder. Ava told Michael that Nina had taken her daughter, and Sonny had stood in the way of her stopping it. Michael kept his gun on Sonny, and Ava said Michael should kill Sonny for what he did to Michael’s father.

Lucy babbled to Bobbie about Anna arresting Duke, and said Bobbie seemed blasé about it. Bobbie said she had other things on her mind, but Lucy couldn’t figure out what would be more horrible; Duke looked humiliated. Bobbie said she was worried about her daughter. Franco told Nina, the wedding was eventful, and she said her day was eventful too. She had someone new in her life, and couldn’t wait for Franco to meet her, but he wasn’t sure when he could get away. He told her it was corny, but he could use a friend, and she said she could too. Kiki told Silas that Morgan had been in the ER all night, and she didn’t think her mom sent the text. Dante told Morgan that he was looking for Sonny; it was about AJ getting shot. Ava told Michael to shoot Sonny, but Michael told her, shut the hell up. It wasn’t enough that Sonny had killed AJ; she and Sonny had desecrated his grave. He said they were both disgusting, but this was between him and Sonny. He told Ava to go, and she gave them a wide berth and ran. Nina asked Madeline if she’d hired Ava to wreck her marriage, and Madeline said they shouldn’t have this conversation in front of the baby. Nina suggested they speak in French, but then realized the baby hadn’t even mastered English yet. She gave Madeline a friendly reminder that she controlled the money, and said she wanted the truth or Madeline wouldn’t see a dime. Madeline admitted that she’d hired Ava. Silas asked Kiki if she thought the text was from Nina. He’d had a patient who tested positive for something, but then was fine. Kiki said they needed to get to Ava before it was too late.

On the pier, Franco tucked a gun into his waistband, while Ava stumbled through a tunnel, and came out at the pier. She saw Franco, and called to him, but he didn’t hear her. Lucy told Bobbie that if Carly had considered the consequences, she wouldn’t have covered up AJ’s murder. Bobbie asked since when was Lucy a fan of AJ’s? and Lucy said no one liked AJ, but Carly should be punished. Bobbie said the same could be said for Lucy’s boyfriend Duke. Nathan told Anna that Dante was about to arrest his father, and he had to arrest his mother. Anna said she could handle things with Duke. Dante told Morgan that Ava didn’t kill AJ; Sonny did. He remembered the gun was missing when the cops looked for evidence at Sonny’s house, and realized Michael might have it. Michael told Sonny, Jason saw him at the Quartermaine crypt, and asked if Sonny had gone to there to brag to AJ that he’d gotten away with murder. He said Sonny had desecrated AJ’s grave by sleeping with Ava there (hint: sleeping was the last thing they were doing). Then Sonny let the blame fall on an innocent woman for AJ’s murder. Sonny said Ava wasn’t innocent; she’d shot Olivia and killed Connie, then let AJ take the fall. Michael said Sonny knew AJ was innocent, and killed him anyway. Although if I remember correctly, AJ had tried to kill Connie, and Ava just finished the job. Sonny told Michael it wasn’t like that, and Michael asked how it was. Sonny said AJ found out that Ava had killed Connie, and went to confront her. Ava was going to shoot AJ, but AJ grabbed the gun. He’d had his hands around Ava’s neck. Michael asked if Sonny was claiming he saved Ava’s life, and Sonny said AJ took his hands off of her, and was about to tell him something – that Ava had killed Connie – but he shot him anyway. Michael said Sonny hated AJ, so he’d killed him. Sonny admitted he did, but swore he wouldn’t have pulled trigger if he’d known AJ hadn’t killed Connie. He found out later after hearing a recording AJ made of Ava confessing. Michael said he believed Sonny, but it didn’t change anything; it made it worse.

Anna said she’d warned Duke since he’d decided to work for Sonny. She’d told him that if Sonny was found guilty, he’d go down too, and Duke lied to her face. Duke said he regretted that, and Anna asked why he’d chosen Sonny over her. Bobbie said Lucy had been hanging all over Duke since Scotty had chosen her over Lucy. Lucy said she’d needed a shoulder to cry on and a good friend, but Bobbie’s brain was too small to understand the complexities of their platonic relationship. She told Bobbie to have fun sifting through the rubble of Carly’s latest disaster, and left. Franco came in, and asked if he could buy Bobbie a drink. Madeline said she had Nina’s best interests at heart, and Nina said, Silas was a good man, but Madeline sicced Ava on him. Madeline said Silas had chosen to cheat, and she’d done Nina a favor. Nina insisted Silas wouldn’t have touched Ava if Madeline hadn’t put her in his path. Their marriage would have been fine if Madeline hadn’t intervened, but it didn’t matter anymore; she had Silas’s baby now. Kiki and Silas found Ava on the pier, and Silas checked her out, saying she would be all right. Ava wondered where her baby was, and Kiki asked who’d done this to her. Ava said Nina and her mother took the baby. Silas called Nathan, and said he knew where Nina had been. Nina and Madeline fawned over the baby, and Nina said they’d never have to think of Ava again, and neither would Silas. It was like it never happened, and she had something Ava could never give him. Bobbie said she didn’t want anything from Franco after what he’d done to her daughter and grandson. Franco said he’d shown them the truth, and Carly got what she deserved. Bobbie said Carly made a mistake, and he asked, which time? Bobbie said so Carly cheated on him, but she didn’t deserve an ambush. Carly was right not to be with him, and he’d cost Michael his relationship with both of his parents. Franco said he fully expected Michael to thank him someday, and Bobbie said she was getting Carly a lawyer. Franco said it would be a waste of time and money. Duke admitted to Anna that he lied to protect Sonny, but he didn’t choose Sonny over her. It was the opposite. Anna said he risked his freedom and their relationship for a casual business acquaintance, but he said Sonny had offered him friendship and a job, and made him feel useful. Anna asked if Duke repaid Sonny by covering up the murder, and he said Sonny understood the depth of his hatred for Julian, and how much Julian had damaged their lives. He was desperate to rid the town of that scumbag, and Sonny had the means to do it. Anna said Julian was still walking the streets, and AJ was in a crypt. Duke said Sonny needed his help, and together they would bring Julian down. Sonny would have paid the price, but he hadn’t sacrificed his own freedom for Sonny’s; he’d kept his word. Anna hoped he was prepared to deal with the consequences, and not just with the justice system.

Michael asked if it was supposed to make it okay that Sonny didn’t know AJ was innocent. Sonny had sworn he wouldn’t hurt AJ, and Michael thought he could believe that. If he’d loved Michael, he wouldn’t have pulled the trigger. When Michael mourned the loss of his father, Sonny comforted him, knowing what he’d done. He was no longer Sonny’s son, and Sonny wasn’t his father; AJ was his father. Sonny said Michael had a right to be angry, but he’d raised Michael. Michael said Sonny poisoned him against AJ, but it wasn’t for his sake. He’d been a pawn that Sonny used against AJ, and it cost Michael his whole life with his real father. Now he was going to make Sonny pay. He told Sonny to put his gun down. Morgan and Dante kept talking and talking and talking. They talked so long, Dante could have intervened ten times. Ava was brought into the hospital, and Silas said Nina had done something terrible. Madeline asked if Nina realized the baby wasn’t hers and Silas’s, but Nina said, of course (🍷) it was. Who else’s baby would it be? Bobbie asked Franco why getting Carly a lawyer would be a waste of time and money, and he said Sonny had confessed, and he already gave the video to his father (Scotty). Duke was taken away, and Lucy told him she’d take care of everything. Sonny put his gun on the floor, and Michael said now he was defenseless like AJ had been when Sonny killed him. He wasn’t like Sonny, and kept his promises, and he’d promised AJ that he’d make his killer pay.

Serving Some Refreshments…

Michael’s biological dad.

The scoop on Silas.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (in a way)

Tonight, Erika Jayne/Girardi and Reza Farahan gave commentary on episode 618, and Bravo seems to be getting the hang of it. They not only got the right pair – a gay man and a gay icon – but they talked to each other. Reza told us, a bitch did his own hair, while showing off his freshly colored locks. He addressed Erika as Mrs. Girardi, and admitted, besides being a Bravolebrity, he was a Bravoholic. The show was from Erika’s first season, when the women went to Dubai, and included a cast member named Kathryn, who I don’t remember. Apparently, she wasn’t very memorable to a lot of people, since that must have been her only season. It was their second day at Atlantis; The Palm Dubai, and LVP and Kyle went swimming with the sealions; Eileen and Erika went to the aquarium; and LisaR went to the spa with Kathryn. Kyle was angry about some picture my memory was fuzzy on – the word enraged kept coming up. Erika said going to Dubai was glamorous, and they had the best trips. Reza said, nine times out of ten, LisaR will be packing leopard.

Eileen talked to LisaR about the picture situation, and we flashed back to LisaR telling Eileen about LVP and Kyle talking smack about Yolanda. Then I realized the picture must be from Yolanda’s Instagram. There had been a big kerfuffle about Yolanda having been sick, but she’d hung out with Brandi or something. God knows, wherever Brandi is, there’s some kind of problem. Eileen said her relationships with the other women had changed because LisaR was telling her stuff, but not owning it with the others, and it made Eileen look bad. Reza asked Erika if the men had been staring at them. She said, yes and no, without really clarifying, and he said that he was a gay man, and knowing how he reacts to seeing her blonde hair, he could only imagine. In Dubai, the women went for a ride through the desert, and Reza told Erika, the smokey eye was a big hit with Middle Easterners. Erika said she was mad about having to put on a turban for the ride, because it messed up her hair. I guarantee she would have been twice as mad if she’d let the wind whip through it. We had a convertible for a while, and I hated dealing with that. Erika said the ride was intense, and she was worried they were going to fall. Reza pointed out that a vintage Range Rover Defender (what they were riding in) was a big deal. The episode was making him homesick.

The women were brought to an outside dinner table, where camels hung out in the periphery. Erika told Reza, camels spit, and there were snakes in the desert grass. The women were given tea with camel milk, which they loved until they found out it was camel milk. Frankly, I don’t see what difference it makes, since conventional milk comes from a cow. Erika told Reza that she died when the waiter said that, and the tea suddenly tasted different. When the waiter said they were going to be served camel meat, the only ones game enough to try it were LisaR and Kathryn, who got on a high horse in her interview, saying they should eat what the natives did. I get that, but I don’t eat a hamburger surrounded by cows sweetly chewing cud. We’ve gone to a restaurant that has fish tanks for walls, and I feel weird ordering seafood there. Erika asked if Reza had ever had camel, and he said he couldn’t eat dark meat chicken.

LVP had a conversation on the side with LisaR, and the dreaded Munchausen topic came up. I remember that well, because they must have said Munchausen 5000 times throughout the course of a few episodes. We flashed back to LisaR being at LVP’s house, and saying when someone had mentioned Munchausen’s in regard to Yolanda, she’d engaged, and now felt sh*tty about it. LVP asked her why she wasn’t bringing up Kyle, who’d questioned Yolanda’s illness, and in LisaR’s interview, she said Kyle and LVP had both been questioning it. She told LVP, everyone felt same; it wasn’t just her. Erika told Reza, the market in Dubai wasn’t really like Sex in the City, and the women acted like tourists. We watched as they haggled, but Kathryn’s reaction to a cockroach being in a caftan she was trying on, was one of the funniest things ever. Reza said, Kathryn was the one who ate gamey camel meat, and she’s afraid of a roach? I assume it was like the ones in Florida, which you can saddle, and I’d have the same reaction. I’ll bet Reza would too. Erika said, imagine being new, and trying to put the pieces together. On the show, Erika gave Kathryn a replica of the Burj Khalifaa, a famous Dubai skyscraper, and she told Reza that they had followed her on social media after that.

LisaR, Kathryn, and Kyle had drinks and appetizers at a hotel restaurant, and Reza said it was the best going to a restaurant you’re familiar with in a foreign country. He said LisaR looked locked and loaded, and watched as she told Kyle about her conversation with LVP. Kyle said LVP told her that she’d thought LisaR might bring Kyle into it, and LisaR said everyone let LVP get away with manipulating situations. LVP wanted other people to get involved, so she had clean hands. Reza wondered why there was no footage of LVP talking to Kyle, and Erika said because she did it when there were no cameras around. Reza said that was exactly what he’d wanted her to say. In Eileen’s interview, she said Kyle knew LVP was manipulating her, and it was nuts. Reza asked Erika a question about what was happening, and I got the feeling she didn’t really remember, which would be understandable. Reza pointed out that Erika wore a lot of yellow gold in Dubai, and that’s the way they do it in the Middle East.

When the women were at dinner, they discussed the next day’s trip to the mall, and Kyle went over the rules; no swearing or talking about s-e-x. Reza said he was sitting on the edge of his chair, waiting for LisaR to pop off, when she said she had to get something off her chest. LisaR asked LVP why she suggested bringing Kyle’s name into the conversation about Yolanda. Reza and Erika discussed LVP’s body language; Erika saying it conveyed she was in charge, and Reza saying LVP was gangster. Kyle said LVP told her that she was afraid LisaR would bring her into it. LisaR said they’d all talked about it, but she seemed to be the only one going down for it. One of the reasons I’ve soured on the Housewives is because some of this stuff is just so petty, and they make it sound like a mob war. In her interview, Kyle said she’d made some comments about Yolanda’s Instagram (I guess that’s what enraged her), but never said anything about Munchausen’s (see what I mean?). Reza said if he hadn’t seen Kyle’s teeth looking so fly when he saw the episode the first time, he wouldn’t have found his dentist. He’ll always be grateful to Kyle.

Eileen brought up LVP making her uncomfortable in the Hamptons when she’d asked about the affair that led to Eileen’s current marriage. Erika said she thought LVP never liked Eileen, and Reza said, on a side note, Eileen should have gone with a dramatic lip. Erika started laughing because she’d thought he was going to say something more profound. So did I. Kathryn said Eileen wasn’t feeling the sincerity in LVP’s apology, and in her interview, said she thought the problem was cultural differences. In LisaR’s interview, she said she was disappointed in LVP. She had respect for her, and LVP let her down. Reza said LVP looked irritated, and Erika agreed. LisaR told LVP, she’d tried to rewrite it, and it was not okay. The episode ended there, and Reza asked Erika, looking back, what grade did she give herself on the episode? Erika said she scored okay, which isn’t a grade, but okay. Watching it years later, she thinks she called it how she saw it from the beginning. Reza said she didn’t have a Denise Richards type situation going on either. She didn’t show up in shorts and a tank top. She was slaying it from day one. They both thought it would be fun to get together, told each other to stay safe, and blew a kiss.

Much, much better.

🚓 And They Say LVP Is Gangster…

I have to admit, I’m always relieved when a horrible crime turns out to be a personal vendetta.

It was just a coincidence, I tell ya.

🌈 Fly Your Flag High…

Heather is proud of her daughter’s pride.

🐉 Just Keep Writing, George…

More teasing from the man who holds the key to Westeros.

📽 Colorful Choices…

Coming soon for your entertainment pleasure in July.

🐫 Hey Mike…

We’re officially past the week’s hump, so I suppose camel milk was fitting. It’s always confusing when Independence Day falls on the weekend – is it Friday or Monday when things are closed? But since for many, it’s still a perpetual weekend, and lots of things are still closed, it’s even more muddled. While you’re figuring it out, stay safe, stay being your unique self, and stay away from crowded house parties.

June 24, 2020 – Stalker Flashback, NYC Watches BH, Tops In TV, Important Awards, Finishing Thrones, More Tours, a Collab, a First, Doing Something & the Best


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Click, click, click… and the Wheel of GH Flashbacks lands on October 12th, 2005. Or as I’ve come to call it, unknown territory.

Maxie thought that Jesse (who?) was over-invested in a case. Old Brook asked Diego (who?) why he had a roofie in his pocket, and accused him of being the stalker lurking in Port Charles. He said there was a guy on campus who was a walking pharmacy, and if the dealer wasn’t the stalker, he’d been supplying the stalker. If the police could nail the dealer, he might give up who the stalker is. Diego claimed he was going to give the roofie to the police, to see if they could tie it to the stalker. Brook wondered how he’d known about the dealer in the first place, but he assured her that he just wanted to get to the bottom of things because she’d been the victim of a crime. He invited her back to his dorm to check out his cameras. When old-Mike-not-MaxGail brought them some sodas, Diego slipped the roofie into Brook’s drink. Emily told Nikolas that she wanted to throw Lucky and Elizabeth a fairytale wedding; they deserved more than a tiny ceremony in Audrey’s living room. Nikolas said Lucky had asked him to be best man, and Emily thought Elizabeth would probably ask her to be maid of honor. Which is not too awkward since Nikolas and Emily are the middle of getting divorced. Nikolas was concerned that Lucky and Elizabeth might try to use the wedding to get him and Emily back together, since Lucky had told him not to bring Courtney.

Sam and Jason were relaxing on an island somewhere. Sam found a super soaker, and Jason threw her in the ocean when she went after him with it. Manny Ruiz (not to be confused with Father Ruiz, his non-evil twin) said trouble in paradise was a go, as he burned a photo of Jason and Sam. Sam said she was happy, and it was the most relaxed she’d ever seen Jason, so we knew trouble was right around the corner. At the hospital, Jax and Courtney talked about a program they wanted to develop for unwed mothers in the name of the baby they’d lost. Emily told Nikolas that she didn’t think it was fair to leave Courtney out, and Nikolas asked if she’d be okay with Courtney showing up, adding he didn’t think Courtney would do anything to upset the wedding. While Sam went out to do who-knows-what, Manny showed up with some thugs. He wanted to kill Jason, but since Jason had saved the padre’s life, family honor dictated he couldn’t – unless Jason tried to kill him. Jason wasn’t about to do that, and ended up being tied to a chair.

Maxie asked Jesse if his over-investment had to do with his brother, but he said, no; his sister. A pregnant Alexis assured Jax that although she’d misplaced his divorce papers temporarily, they’d been mailed out. Nikolas showed up, saying he received Jax’s divorce papers instead of his own, and wondered if Alexis had done it on purpose, so he’d reconsider. Alex said she didn’t care what went on, as long as it was mutually agreed upon, and she was an overworked attorney with a pain in the ass husband. She told both Jax and Nikolas to take the opportunity to appreciate the ones they loved. She said she was busy, tired, and hormonal, and told them to get out. Emily told Courtney that she’d heard Courtney tell Sonny that she was pregnant. Even though Emily and Nikolas were getting a divorce, she was still in shock. Courtney said Jax might be the father, and she wasn’t saying anything until she knew for sure, adding that it was none of Emily’s business anyway. Emily threatened to tell Nikolas, and Courtney said Emily had eavesdropped on a private conversation, and now Emily was blackmailing her. Emily said Nikolas deserved to know the truth, and Courtney told her that she had no idea what it was like to lose a baby. The new baby was a miracle, she’d decide what was best, and tell the father when she was ready. Emily said Nikolas was still her husband on paper, and she’d tell him whatever she wanted. She’d lost him by keeping secrets, and she wasn’t keeping anything from him again. Although why that mattered if she’d lost him already, I don’t know. She said if Courtney had half a brain, she wouldn’t keep anything from him either. Courtney said she was getting a paternity test in a few weeks, and Emily said maybe she’d give Courtney that long. I don’t really know Emily’s character very well, but everyone always acts like she was a saint. I’m not getting that from this episode.

Manny had his thugs beat up Jason, and suggested Jason not dishonor Sonny again, and shoot him. Jason refused, and got beat up some more, Manny saying, no wasn’t a word he settled for. Mac told Jesse that he blew the case, and the last thing he needed was a loose cannon on the force. Jesse asked if Alcazar owned the PCPD, and Mac said Jesse was off the case. The next time, he’d be out of a job. Diego took a woozy Brook to a walk-in freezer in the Quartermaine’s basement. He pulled out a diary that had belonged to his cousin Sage (dim memory of that one), and told Brook how much pain she’d caused Sage, saying he’d brought her back to the scene of the crime.

Jesse told Maxie about how his sister had gotten involved with a gang member who beat her. She’d make excuses about her trips to the ER, and laugh it off. She begged Jesse to stay out of it, but he didn’t listen, joined a rival gang, and started a war. He’d planned to take the gang member out, and set his sister free, but instead their brother ended up dead. Jesse then became a cop to set things right, but told Maxie, sometimes bad guys still get away with murder. Brook realized Diego was the stalker, and he’d taken pictures of her and harassed her with menacing calls. He said it was nothing compared to what she did to his cousin. All Sage wanted was to be part of the crowd, and even her boyfriend Dillon had used her before dumping her. Brook stood by while Maxie stuck Sage in the freezer, and Sage had been murdered, so he brought her there, where she’d left his cousin to die.

Jax brought the papers back to Alexis, who noticed they weren’t notarized, and Jax asked if she could misplace them for a while longer. Courtney saw Emily with Nikolas in Kelly’s, and he told her it might not be a good time. In France, a woman showed up at a hospital who had an R on her bracelet, but we didn’t see her face. One of the doctors asked if she wanted to join him for lunch, but she said she was waiting for a call. When she was in her room, she put a candle in a cupcake, and lit it. A call came in, and she thanked her Uncle Ric for sending the cupcake, promising she’d make a wish. When she blew out the candle, we saw that it was Robin. Sam came back, and saw Manny and his thugs surrounding Jason, but they didn’t know she was there.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

LuAnn and Sonja (The Real Housewives of New York City) watched a throwback episode of RHOBH, where the women went to NYC to celebrate Dorit being on the cover of Bella magazine for Fashion Week. Giggy! This was somewhat better than Garcelle and Dorit watching for a couple of reasons. A friend and I had just been discussing how the commentary shows were falling flat, and agreed that besides the commentary being sparse and not very engaging, the POV wasn’t balanced. Both Pillow Talk and the defunct People’s Couch are huge favorites of mine, but both are focused more on the people talking about the show than the show itself. We’ve already seen the show, and don’t need to see so much of it again. We’re there to hear what these viewers have to say. From our mouths to Bravo’s ear, tonight was a definite improvement. Either the New Yorkers had more to say, or more was edited in. One stumbling block is that the observers can’t be together because of pandemic restrictions still being in place, but regardless, IMO there was still a little too much focus on the episode.

Sonja babbled incessantly, realizing halfway through that she was being extra loud because she was wearing an earpiece, and consistently checked herself out. We also got the scoop that she and Teddi sat next to each other at Josh Flagg’s (Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles) wedding. On RHOBH, Dorit had alluded to Kyle that LVP was jealous of their friendship, so she spilled the beans to LVP herself in Union Square Park, which LuAnn mistook for Central Park, and tried to make about herself. I wondered why LVP and Dorit had such cheap umbrellas, which I hadn’t noticed the first time around. Sonja thought Dorit should be put with Ramona, so they could dig a hole together. If that ever happened, I have no doubt they’d make it all the way to China. LuAnn and Sonja both praised Erika for the way she took a meeting with Simon & Schuster, and when LisaR talked about how the delivery guy was robbed before daughter Delilah got a delivery for her new place, LuAnn made a point of saying that didn’t always happen in NYC. As Sonja watched the women get their hair and makeup done, she started messing with her own hair. She wondered who hadn’t been on the cover of Bella, and said they’d asked her. She mentioned this twice; once saying she didn’t have time, and then saying she thought it was overrated and declined. When the BH women greeted designer Marc Bouwer, Sonja let us know he was one of her best friends. They went back a long way; they were the old bitches.

Both Sonja and LuAnn seemed a little lost, not knowing the background of any ongoing issues, and since I didn’t remember some of it, I was lost too. Kyle had been upset about Erika slipping away from Teddi’s beach house for the night, and LuAnn said at least she didn’t have to sleep in the basement. She also interjected that Teddi had a voice like a cabaret singer, just to get the word cabaret in there somewhere. There were probably another twenty-three references that were edited out. What was most amusing was how LuAnn and Sonja were acting like this nonsensical arguing was foreign territory to them. A lot of the episode revolved around Kyle having heard Dorit say that LVP was needy, and perhaps jealous of Kyle’s other relationships. Since Dorit knew someone else would end up telling LVP, she told LVP herself. LuAnn wondered why Kyle was more upset about the whole thing than LVP, and proclaimed that people had said worse about her. She figured there were only two options of how the night would end; getting sick or crying. Crying it was. Sonya said she’d been happy to share the limelight with Beverly Hills, but the women were emotional vampires, and she was going to have to light a candle and do some yoga to recover. LuAnn thought Kyle was more of a pot stirrer than Dorit, and when Sonja had to get up, she said she was walking like Ramona after a night in Palm Beach. I’m not sure what that meant, and don’t think I want to know.

📺 Perfect For a Pandemic…

There are a lot of good shows on the list, ideal for binge watching.

🏆 And the Award Goes To…

And don’t call me Shirley… I mean, Karen…

✍🏼 He’s Not Getting Any Younger…

Write faster, George.

🥃 Cheers…

See how liquor is made from your couch.

🎶 What They’re Doing…

These literal buddies came together to make a joyful noise.

👑 What She’s Doing…

Vanessa Williams, then and now. I’ve always admired her for not only bucking the system, but for not letting anything get in her way.

👣 What You Can Do…

Everybody knows how to do something. Or you can learn.

🎤 Bringing It On Home…

Here we are again, in the middle of a work week, if you’re working. If you’re not, just look at where the X’s on your calendar are. Except for Sunday night TV – which, between 90 Day Fiancé and sMothered, is like a John Waters movie – things are slowing down a bit, but there’s always something to fill in the gap until the party starts again. So for now, stay safe (Billy Eilish agrees!), stay enthusiastic, and stay using whatever privilege you have for the greater good.

June 16, 2020 – Post Wedding Trauma, VanderEnd, a Final Finale, Goodbye Loving, Sandy Correct, Tyler Does Good & Farewell


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Since GH is apparently using a Flashback dartboard, today’s episode was from September 24th, 2013. Morgan and Kiki (who had switched over from being Starr) had just gotten married. Starr Kiki really loved Michael, but Morgan had lied, telling her that she and Michael were cousins, when Kiki’s father was really Silas, but she didn’t know it. Sonny, who was off his meds, spilled the beans at the reception, even though Morgan had begged him to keep the secret. Sonny claimed he was doing it for Connie, who’d wanted him to tell the truth, and who he hadn’t protected. He told everyone that Morgan had tricked Kiki into marriage, and they all went in different directions.

Morgan told Ava that his family was a bunch of hypocrites, especially his father, and his father was dead to him. Ava told him that family stays together, and not to write Sonny off, but Morgan said he’d never forgive Sonny, who had never once backed him. Sonny had, however, stepped up to double-cross him, costing him his wife, who was off with Michael doing who-knows-what. Ava said she knew what it was like to be refused by the person you love, and told Morgan about how the man she loved went off with someone else. Morgan said Ava got him, and had always been on his side, prompting them to get busy.

What Kiki and Michael were doing was talking at the MetroCourt bar. Michael wanted Kiki to give him a chance, and they kissed.

In the meantime, Maxie had been a surrogate for Lulu and Dante, who named the baby Connie, but it wasn’t really their baby; it was Maxie’s baby with Spinelli. Maxie whacked Spinelli over the head, thinking he was a prowler, when he was picking up his gym bag from the apartment. Ellie had told Spinelli the truth, but Maxie thought she’d been given a second chance to make things right, since she’d lost the first baby she’d carried for Dante and Lulu. She figured Spinelli and Ellie would have their own family, and told Spinelli choosing Lulu was the least bad of two terrible options. She said there was no turning back, and she’d be sorry for the rest of her life. Spinelli said he hated what Maxie had done, but didn’t hate her.

Carly had gotten Sonny the hell out of the reception, and told him that his behavior was the result of him not taking his pills. The last time he’d done that, he’d been dangerous to everyone around him, even the people who love him. Sonny said he’d thrown the pills away, because he wanted to feel the pain; he owed that to Connie. Carly asked if he thought Connie would want him to hurt and want him to hurt others. Luckily, the pills were safely balanced on the top of the wastebasket, where no garbage had actually touched them. Carly gave them to Sonny, telling him that his kids needed their dad.

Silas (who would later become Finn) was dating Sam, and brought dinner to her while she was at the hospital with Danny.

Carly told Sonny that taking the pills was the right thing to do. He said he missed Connie so much, but Carly said, then he shouldn’t hurt himself and his family in Connie’s name. This convinced him to take his lithium.

Michael told Kiki, they didn’t have to figure it out tonight, that tonight was for them, and Morgan and Ava got busier.

Vanderpump Rules – The Endless Reunion – Part Three (@home)

I never noticed before that in the opening group pic, it’s a still shot except for Lisa’s hair blowing. I knew she was magical.

We wait for Tom, who had to pee. Ariana asks why Tom didn’t go during the break, and announces that she pooped. Thanks for sharing.

Andy say,s Stassi’s push to be engaged almost sent Beau to an early grave. We flash back to all that, including Stassi catching Katie’s bouquet. Stassi says she’s embarrassed. (FYI, I’m totally refraining from any and all jokes, and working on something about the whole Bravo brouhaha.) Stassi does a mini PSA, saying, if you know you’re asking your SO to marry you, don’t torture them, just tell them. Andy says Beau went to great lengths to make Stassi think he wasn’t proposing, and we flash back to him avoiding the subject, and telling her not to rush him. Beau says the dinner where she thought he was going to propose was the worst night all year. Stassi says Beau put on a mic pad that looked like the shape of a ring box. It convinced her they were getting engaged, and she lost her sh*t. Schwartz asks, what’s sexier, a penis bulge or a ring bulge? Andy brings up Carter texting them not to forget that Kristen introduced them, and asks if Kristen agrees. She says she doesn’t, and if Carter had wanted to say that, he should have waited. Stassi says Kristen defended him in every interview, but Kristen says she doesn’t respect what did, and Lala tells her, leave it there.

Andy says, Lisa has dealt with unruly bartenders and defiant waitresses, but this season, she had to manage the managers. We flash back to Danica getting suspended for putting her hands on the other Brett. Andy asks what makes Max a good manager, and Lisa says he puts in a lot of hours, he’s a great bartender and can step in when he’s needed, and the staff loves him. He fits in perfectly. She wishes he wouldn’t bang her staff though. She thinks Danica needs to grow up and soften up. She sees things in black and white, and gets it wrong sometimes. Raquel says Danica is the best manager. She gets the job done. Lisa says Danica has been rude on many occasions, and she has a personal issue with her. That Danica claimed she was having an affair with Brett, pisses her off. In all the years she’s been in the business, she’s never put a finger on anyone. Danica asks when she said that, and we see a clip of the after-show where she says she can’t see a mother/son dynamic with Brett and Lisa. They’re both hot, so you know they fantasize about each other. Lisa says she has children and a husband. Kristen says Danica is lucky she has a job. She should be thankful, grateful, and bow down. Danica says she’s sorry; it came out the wrong way. Lisa thanks her, and says she’s been married 37 years, and has two children. She doesn’t need to hear stuff like that. Andy asks Max if banning someone for talking sh*t is the manager’s job, referring to him wanting to ban Danica from TomTom. Max says he thinks he handled it incorrectly, and he already apologized. Lisa says Danica felt backstabbed, since she thought they were friends. Danica says whenever she introduced Max to her friends, he’d screw them, and she has to work with him. Max says she’s the one who hooked them up. Kristen thinks there’s a problem because Danica wants to sleep with Max, but Danica says, no way. Andy leaves it there and takes a break.

Brittany’s dog barks, and she gets criticized, which is ridiculous. She says, since there’s a pandemic, she couldn’t get a sitter. I say, bring the dog into the discussion. He’ll give just as coherent a contribution as the cast. Andy asks James what he thought about Scheana and Brett’s video, and he says he thought it was racy. Andy asks if that’s why Brett felt uncomfortable and violated. Brett admits he was being dramatic in saying he felt violated, but he was uncomfortable. Scheana says he should have explained that to her at the time, instead of being a p*ssy. Saying she’d give him a BJ was a joke. Lisa says Scheana did like him when they first met, and thought there was a possibility. Scheana says they clicked right away, and we flash back to her telling Lisa that she admits there’s a crush, but she doesn’t want to date him, then gets all teary. Scheana says she’s flirty by nature. Andy says Charli was completely over him before the first date. What turned her off so quickly? Charli says there was a lot going on prior to the date, and she felt awkward about Scheana. We flash back to Brett saying he can’t have friends that are girls. Andy asks how Scheana and Brett are now, and Scheana says, they’d been fine up until the last few episodes aired. Then Brett said he was going to be so far up her ass apologizing at the reunion, but she’s still waiting. Brett says he felt bad about some things, and Kristen suggests he just apologize for being an a-hole. Brett says he’s sorry he misled Scheana, but he tried to make it clear that he didn’t want anything. Scheana says she didn’t want anything either, and Ariana says, how about apologizing for saying one thing to his friend’s face, and something else behind their back? Brett says he doesn’t think he did that.

Andy says Ariana was forthcoming about her battle with depression, and asks how she’s doing. Ariana says she’s been seeing a therapist for the last few months, and she’s been working hard on herself. She’d be lying if she said it was all positive all the time, but she thinks she’s doing okay. Andy says Lisa had shared with Ariana that she’d also felt that way, and Lisa says she was more prepared for her mother passing away, but her brother’s death was a shock. That it was a suicide made it worse, and that’s why she understood, and didn’t think it should be minimized. Ariana says she’s grateful to Lisa, and thanks her. Lisa says Ariana can call her, any time of the day or night.

Andy says, Brittany and Jax had a fairytale wedding, but once they got home, Jax had left all traces of his Prince Charming persona in Versailles (pronouncing it Ver-sales). We see clips of Jax taking out his sh*t on Brittany, and anyone else in his path. We flash back to Ariana’s interview, where she says, unfortunately, Brittany is married to the problem, and we flash back to Stassi telling Jax, it looks like he’s losing his mind. We see one of Lisa’s interviews, where she says, it’s not just Jax now; that’s the difference. Andy says Jax seems to spiral at the end of every summer. Jax says it’s his downfall, and he’s still working on himself. Ariana says she doesn’t want to spend 45 minutes on the same sh*t. Every reunion, Jax says he’s a work in progress. I hate when people like Jax use that phrase as an excuse for bad behavior. We flash back to Jax saying the same things at every reunion. Jax says he’ll be working on himself for the rest of his life. Tom says, like his tweeting lies. Everyone talks at once, so you can’t understand anyone, and there’s a lot of bleeping on top of it. Jax says he knows they’re perfect and awesome, and he applauds. Ariana says she’s a garbage person. That’s why she’s here. Lisa tells her, calm down, and Jax says it’s not about her.

Andy reminds us, if we lost track, it’s Tuesday. He moves on to the beach clean-up, and Jax’s rage texts. Jax says it was nothing against Max. He just didn’t want to drive for hours to pick up one piece of paper, when there are three parks near him that are full of trash. Which might be a valid argument if he’d been at those parks picking up said trash. Stassi is like, come on. He just didn’t want to do it, and Kristen says, so it had nothing to do with the environment. He didn’t want to go. Jax says he apologized five hours later, and we flash back to more rage texting hours later. Schwartz says, it was personal and pointed, and Jax says he’s good at apologizing. I’m not so sure that’s something to be bragging about. Andy doesn’t think Jax is that great at it, since you can apologize a million times and not mean it. Jax asks if Andy hasn’t ever done that, and Andy says, not really. He asks Brittany if it’s daunting to have to apologize for Jax all the time, and Jax says, no one is perfect. Andy recalls that Jax said that at every one of eight reunions. Ariana makes fun of Jax, which is unbecoming, even if Jax is a total d-bag. Jax says he thought he was doing better, and still has bad days. Stassi says he instills fear in his friends. They have to be scared of pissing him off, and of hurting Brittany’s feelings. They need to be able to be honest, and can’t be in a situation they’re scared to have an opinion of. Jax told them about how depressed he was, and that he couldn’t control himself, so now they want to talk about it. Jax says, it’s fine coming from certain people. Andy asks for Ariana’s reaction to Jax admitting he had a mental problem, and Brittany says, he obviously does. Ariana says her best advice is to find a therapist he connects with, and work through his sh*t. He can’t let it fall by the wayside. It has to be a priority. Andy says, Rand recommended a therapist, and Lala says, he didn’t just recommend one. He paid for a session, and Jax didn’t show up. Tom says, Jax doesn’t want to get better or change, and he doesn’t want to hear that Jax is a work in progress. I totally get this. I know people who cry about needing help, but won’t take it because they’d rather keep using their illness to be a manipulative a-hole. They’re the worst. Brittany says the group obviously doesn’t love them, and Lala says she’d die for them. Brittany won’t look at anyone, and Ariana says she’s fully convinced nothing she said came from an ill place. Brittany says she’s turning her head because she’s trying not to cry. Tom says, after the end of the season, day after day, Brittany always takes up for Jax. Brittany says, everyone does stuff, and Ariana says it’s happening every week. Katie asks Schwartz, what’s happening? and I’m wondering too. Brittany says of course she wants Jax to be better, and Jax says he’s working on it all the time, but it seems like they’re just yelling at him. Schwartz says, it’s a productive thing. Jax alluded to having issues several times, and they’re being corrective. They want him to be proactive, and not do the same thing every time and expect a different result. Ariana says they love Brittany so much, and Tom says he’s wracked his brain for years, trying to help. Ariana says, and Jax acts like they don’t give a f***, and they’re full of it. There’s lots of bleeping, and I wonder what the hell is with Schwartz’s hair, and if he meant for it to look like that. Schwartz tells Jax, please effing do something.

Andy asks where everyone is going, but they’re just stretching their legs. Jax says Andy is always against him, but everyone tells Jax that Andy is on his side. Jax says he feels like Andy goes at him the hardest. He has thick skin, but it’s being worn away as the years go by. Andy says he actually likes Jax a lot, and Jax says he has a weird way of showing it. Andy says it’s his job to call them out. Jax insists he’s the best he’s been, except for three episodes spread apart. We see clips of Jax that would embarrass a normal person. Andy says Jax doesn’t watch the show, and he should if he wants to respond to sh*t. Jax says if he slips up, it’s all they talk about, and Andy says, watch the show; that’s what he’s working off of. Jax says, it’s the worst reunion ever.

Andy says Scheana’s surprise birthday present of a psychic reading for Dayna didn’t go well, and Scheana had first said she didn’t bring the psychic. We flash back to Scheana having the psychic wait outside. He asks, what really happened? and Scheana says she was going to text the psychic after talking to Dayna, and let her know if it was still happening. The experience for her was incredible, and she assumed it would be the same for Dayna. Andy asks why Dayna was bothered, and Dayna starts to cry. She says she knows Scheana meant it in a good way, but she felt put on spot. It’s been seven years since her mom passed away, and it’s still hard. She doesn’t know if she’ll ever be ready. It’s frustrating for her. She wanted to do it, but had to back out. She was scared of a response either way. She says, people think she’s a bitch, but it’s been her only option most of her life. Lisa asks, why? and Dayna says her dad’s not in her life. After her mom died, it was just her and her sister, and she was only twenty-two. She’s never felt at home for one minute since her mother stopped breathing, and she’s been looking for that. I totally get this, since I always say, I want to go home, but there’s no home to go to anymore. Kristen says she wishes they could hug Dayna. If it was a normal reunion, they would be in a giant circle. Jax says he lost both of his parents; he doesn’t speak to his mom. Unless someone has gone through that, they can’t understand the pain. Andy asks if Jax has considered the time he’s losing in not speaking to his mom, and Jax says, it’s been tough with the virus going on. Ariana knows they hate each other, but tells him to try and give his mom a call. Dayna says, people are quick to judge, and say life is short, but every situation is different. She tried hard to have her dad in her life, but it didn’t work, and she has to live with that.

Andy wants to switch topics to the girls. He asks how Ariana felt, finding out it was Lala who had been talking smack about her house, and not Stassi. We flash back to Scheana relaying the wrong shade to Kristen, and Stassi says she knows Scheana is a sh*t stirrer, but how could she be so messy? Ariana can say Stassi is Regina George or a snob, because that’s definitely true, but what she said came so easy, like she was waiting to get it out. She doesn’t know how many years it will take Ariana to understand that she likes her. Ariana says she felt like they’d worked hard on the friendship, and she lost it. She didn’t even know what she’d said until she watched the show. Lala asks on what planet Stassi would say she’s a grown-ass woman. It didn’t sound like her. Ariana says she’s pivoting everything she said about Stassi to Lala.

We see everyone texting in a group chat, and paying no attention whatsoever. Andy says, bromances over romances are easier said than done, and we see clips from the messy triangle that is Max, Dayna, and Brett. Andy says if Max decided he didn’t want to be with Dayna, why did he think he had a say in who she was with. Max says he didn’t. He and Brett were inseparable – he was the Sandoval to Brett’s Schwartz. Brett says Dayna knew he was skeptical to begin with since he was considering Max. Andy thinks Brett and Max should date, and Lisa says, cheers to that. Schwartz says it’s obvious Max’s feelings were hurt, and Stassi asks, why? Dayna went to him first, and he turned her down. Brett says he realized they were moving too fast. Dayna says they were hanging out a few times a week, and sleeping together (these people are so weird, I don’t know if she means having sex or just sleeping), then Brett said they were moving too fast, and she was over it. She has no more room in her life for one more person who’s not sure or not invested in a relationship. She’s learned about herself. She’s beautiful and she deserves it. Andy says he’s leaving it there.

Andy asks Danica what about the Scheana clone bothered her at the party? Danica says Scheana 2.0 was inserting herself in a conversation where she wasn’t welcome. She told her to bounce, and she didn’t want to. We flash back to their altercation, and Stassi says she wasn’t mad about it. Lisa says Danica is in hospitality, and has to check herself. She can’t have a loose cannon representing the business. Danica says she was completely wrong, and Lisa says she can’t afford someone on the floor who’s so explosive. They’re going to have to talk. Danica says Max’s plan worked out; congratulations. Andy asks how intense it was for James to see Rand, and asks how the relationship has been. James says, amazing, and we flash back to his apology and their bro hug. James says he’s come a long way, and he’s glad Rand pushed Lala back into his life. He’s a stand-up guy, and James hopes their friendship grows. Lala says, it’s been amazing to see James’s growth, and Rand is the most incredible human she’s ever met. She thanks James for his kind words.

Andy says before they have their final thoughts, he wonders if Kristen misses her friendships. Kristen says she doesn’t miss the sh*t, but she misses the friendships. She wishes she could have shared her relationship with new boyfriend Alex, her house, and the monumental moments she’s had. Andy asks, what about Jax and Tom? and Jax says he’s happy with the current status of how things are going. Andy says, the current status is on hold. Lisa says, all of their current status is on hold, and she hopes what the world has been going through in the past few months has given them perspective, and caused them to be reflective. She wants them to come back with the same cohesion they went into this with. Brittany thinks if they could have hung out, they could get through it, but she hasn’t seen any effort; it’s only been hearsay. Lisa says when they get back, she expects they’ll have made a concentrated effort to put it together. Andy says, that’s a good transition.

He thanks everyone for accepting the technology needed for the reunion into their homes. He welcomes Ken, Rand, and Scheana’s new squeeze Brock to the reunion. Lisa says it’s the first time she’s seen Ken in a shirt in two months. Everyone waves. Andy asks Ken how it is being trapped at Villa Rosa with Lisa for two months, and Ken says, it’s fantastic. He’s getting three amazing meals a day. Lisa says he’s missing going to work. Andy says Rand was reluctant to be on the show, and Lala didn’t even use his name in the beginning, calling him her man. He asks how the experience was, and Rand says he was petrified, but at the end of the day, this is Lala’s family, and it was time to jump in and support her. Everyone made it easy. Andy asks what Brock has learned about Scheana, and Brock says, Scheana is a good person. He digs her more all the time. He thinks they all really love each other; it’s somewhere in there. Lisa says she’s grateful for all of them. James’s sobriety is extraordinary. She wants to see them on the other side. Bless them.

Andy says what sounds like, to the Banana Republic, and everyone takes a drink of their cocktail or mocktail. Andy says he can’t wait to see them in person, and tells everyone, stay healthy.

If Loving You Is Wrong

It doesn’t say finale in the guide, which rubs me the wrong way, since it’s the final finale. I hope they wrap some things up, and we’re not just left hanging all over the place.

Marcie can’t stop whacking Randal in the head with the fireplace poker. If he’s not dead, he’s a host from Westworld. She bashes him a couple more times for good measure. She pulls a bookcase down, then hits him again, saying she hates him. She kicks him, and says, get up. If he wants to fight, then fight. Did he think it was going to be easy? It dawns on her that Randal is not getting up. Covered in blood, she grabs her bag, and jets.

Bennett comes home, but he doesn’t go home. Instead, he goes to Randal’s house. He sees Randal lying there, and says, no, goddammit. He kicks Randal, and says someone beat him to it.

Marcie goes to Brad’s house, where Alex is still passed out on the couch. Brad asks her what happened? and she says, Randal. He asks if they argued, and she says he attacked her while she was walking to the car. She was going to her car, and he grabbed her, and they fought. Brad asks if she’s okay, and says he warned Randal. He’s going to kill him. He tells Marcie, he’s going over there, but she says she killed him. He’s dead. Alrighty then.

Rick walks into Randal’s house, and draws his gun. He says, police; don’t move, and tells Bennett to put his hands on his head and get down on his knees. Bennett does, and Rick tells him to put his hands behind his back. Bennett says he didn’t do anything. He didn’t do this. He found Randal. Rick says he doesn’t want to hear it. Rick takes him to the squad car. Um… Rick, there’s no blood on him. I think there would be some. Rick calls for an ambulance, and CSI. Bennett repeats that he didn’t do it. He walked in, and Randal was dead. Rick tells him, be quiet, and goes back in the house. He radios that Randal has been beaten to a pulp. He has no pulse, and there’s brain matter. He needs the coroner.

Brad tells Marcie, calm down. We hear sirens, and she says, the police are here. He says, maybe Randal called the police, and she asks if he thinks Randal is okay. He says, why else would they be there? and tells her that he’ll go and check. He asks her again, what happened? and she says she told him. She grabbed a fireplace poker, and stabbed Randal over and over. Brad says he’ll go see; stay there. She tells him, just go, and he leaves.

Brad approaches Rick, who tells him, stay back. Brad asks, what happened? and Rick points to the coroner’s van, and says, that happened. Brad asks if someone is dead, and Rick says, yeah. Brad asks if he’s sure, and Rick says, there’s no way not to be. Brad asks, who is it? and Rick says, Randal. Brad asks, what happened? but RIck says he can’t tell Brad. From the car, Bennett says, he didn’t do it, Brad says, he did it? and I gasp. I can’t believe Brad is going to let this be pinned on Bennett. Rick tells Brad, go back in his house, and Bennett says he’s telling Rick, he didn’t do it. Rick goes back to the car, and asks what Bennett’s name is. Bennett says, Rick knows his name, and he didn’t do it. He drove up, and a bloody woman in a blue dress was leaving. Rick asks what kind of car she was driving, and Bennett says take him to the station and he’ll tell Rick. He needs to get back to his wife. Kelly runs out, with Tyrell behind her, and Brad makes a return appearance. Kelly asks Rick, what happened? and Rick says, Randal; he’s dead. Someone killed him. Kelly asks, who? and Rick says he doesn’t know, but he has a man in the car. Kelly sees Bennett, and says, no way. What did Randal do to him? Brad says, whatever he did, Bennett got him back. Tyrell says, this neighborhood is crazy, and Kelly says, he’s right about that.

Lushion, Steven, and Natalie are at Esperanza’s house, along with a couple of uniformed officers. Lushion tells Esperanza, the FBI is all over it, and she says they better find her. Steven says, it’s all right, but she says, it’s not all right. Where the hell is Eddie? Lushion says he doesn’t know, and she says, it’s all Eddie’s fault. Natalie tells her, calm down, but Esperanza says she’s not calming down. If she doesn’t have her daughter back unharmed, she’s going to… Natalie pulls her back, and Steven and Lushion step aside to talk. Steven asks if Lushion heard the radio, and Lushion says, a homicide. Steven says, on his street, and Lushion says, that’s Randal’s address. Steven asks if Randal is dead, and Lushion says, that’s what he’s hearing. Steven says, no way it’s connected, but Lushion doesn’t know. Esperanza asks why they’re whispering, and Steven says, it’s nothing. She asks if it has to do with Mica, and he says, no. She wants to talk to the FBI, and tells Natalie, if something happens to Mica, she’s dead.

Rick tells an officer that Bennett says he didn’t do it, but he walked in and Bennet had a fireplace poker in his hand. Book him Danno. Kelly asks if Randal is really dead, and Rick says, yeah. She says, wow, and Rick says they really wanted him dead. There was a lot of overkill. He’s got to take Bennett in, but it’s good to see her out. He suggests they go out to celebrate, and she says, a guy just died. Rick says she didn’t like him anyway, but she says, he’s still a human being. Rick asks who the buff guy is who’s standing there, and she says, Justice’s father. Rick says she didn’t tell him. He thought they had… forget it. Kelly thanks him for everything he did, and he says he’s glad she’s out. Rick leaves, and Tyrell asks Kelly, who was that? She says, a police officer, and he says he can see that. She asks if he’s jealous, and tells him, go on in the house. Tyrell says, the way Rick was looking at her, and touching her shoulder; he obviously likes her. She tells him, go in the house, and he asks, how many men she has now. She says, a man just died, and he wants to talk about this? Show some respect. He asks if Randal was a friend of hers too. He’s a little concerned. She says, no; she hated Randal. He asks why she isn’t happy. Why is she acting all broken up? She says she can’t. She’s going to babysit. The same thing he’s supposed to be doing with their son. She tells him, go in the house.

Larry’s wife cries over him at the hospital. Ian comes in, and she leans on his shoulder. Ian asks how Larry is, and she says, he’s sedated. Ian asks what the doctors are saying, and she says, they have to remove his legs, and he has severe hematoma. Ian says he’s so sorry, and she says she wants them dead. He says he’s sure that’s been taken care of, and she says, Casey will do it; he’ll wipe them all out – and his daughter. She wants them to drain the swamp, and tells Ian to create a hashtag that its going. Larry calls to her, and tells Ian, you don’t want to mess with his wife. He asks if Ian is with them, and Ian says he is. Larry says, no more messing around, and Ian says, none. He’s sorry. Larry says, don’t be. Eddie’s not going to make it through the night. Ian asks where the kid is, and Larry says, get him out. Larry’s wife says, Ian played him; he played them. Get out. Larry calls Ian a traitor; after everything Larry did for him. He tells his wife, if he doesn’t make it, burn Ian. She says he’s going to make it, and Larry says, make sure it gets all the way done. He can’t feel his legs, and he’s going to get them.

On the phone, Lushion asks what Ian’s got, but Ian says he tried to get Larry to tell him where the kid is, but now he won’t let Ian near him. Lushion is going to have to find her. Send someone down to get the phone. Lushion says he’s doing it now, and Ian says, hurry up; he’s in bad shape. Lushion tells Steven to go get Larry’s phone. Steven says Esperanza needs him, but Lushion insists. Steven tells Esperanza, it’s a small lead; that’s all he can say. He’ll be back. Lushion tells her that they’re checking all the possibilities, and Esperanza says, they’re lucky it’s not happening to them. They can keep calm and collected. Lushion says, it’s all right, and tells Steven to go.

Brad – who I hate at this moment – runs downstairs with new clothes for Marcie. Marcie says they’re not hers, but Brad says they have to clean her up. She says she did it; she killed him. She really killed him. They’re going to come for her. Brad says, as far as they’re concerned, she did nothing. They already have a suspect. She says, no. She can’t let him take the rap for something she did. Brad says, it’s done. She did nothing. She looks at him, and he says she has to wash her hands and clean under her nails. Marcie keeps repeating, she killed him, and Brad says they have to clean her up. They can’t see her like this. She did nothing. She wonders what if they come over, and he says, it will be okay. She’s going to be fine. He asks if she’s okay, and she says, no. He tells her that Randal got what he deserved, and she says he made her so mad. Brad says, the bastard deserved it, and she says, he did, but Bennett doesn’t. Brad holds her, and says, everything is okay. She says she can’t let someone go down for a crime she committed, and Brad says she doesn’t know him, like this makes it okay. She asks who it is, and he says, the neighbor from across the street. She says, he’s a nice guy; she has to tell them. Brad says, she’ll tell them nothing. Let him do this. They’re going to swap her clothes for Alex’s. Alex won’t know, and they’ll ride off into the sunset with the kids. Marcie says, he’s that angry with Alex? A lawyer brought her there; this isn’t going to work. Brad says, she’s out of it. They’ll say they went to bed, got up, and found out she did it. Marcie says, he’s a lawyer, and Brad says, then he can get Alex off. He tells her to grab her makeup, and give him the dress. Make sure she covers the bruise on her face. Brad takes off Alex’s shoes.

Steven and Rick go to Larry’s hospital room. Steven tells Larry’s wife that he’s there for Larry’s phone, but she says he doesn’t have one. Larry opens his eyes, and Rick asks where his belongings are.  The nurse said they’re in there. Larry says they can’t take his phone, but Steven says they can and will. Larry says they need a warrant, and Steven says he has it right there. Does Larry want to read it? Give him the phone. Steven tells Rick to find it, and Rick starts searching. Larry’s wife tells them, get out, and Steven asks if she wants to be hit with a thorough investigation. Rick finds Larry’s phone in the locker, and Steven asks what the passcode is. Larry says he can’t remember, and Steven grabs Larry’s hand, putting it on the phone. Steven says, got it, and Larry says he’ll sue their asses. They leave, and in the hallway, Rick suggests Steven hurry before it locks again. Steven asks if Rick doesn’t have something to do. Rick says he was just trying to help. He’s out, and hopes Steven finds what he’s looking for.

Natalie gives Esperanza some water, and Esperanza says she needs to move around. She wonders where the FBI is, and Lushion says, they’re on it. She asks why they haven’t called, and Natalie says, they will. Esperanza says she shouldn’t have hit Mica. They never tell you the person you love most in life, you’ll hate with a passion. Eddie poisoned Mica; his flesh and blood. Who does that to a child? Natalie says, Eddie, and Esperanza asks why he had to bring Mica into their problems. She tells Natalie, Eddie hit her too, today, and Natalie asks if that was the first time. Esperanza says, it was, and Natalie asks if she’s sure. Esperanza says, the only thing that matters right now is her daughter. She admits Eddie pushed her and got in her face, and Natalie says, that’s abuse. Esperanza says she knows. Why does Natalie think she left him? Their daughter is the only thing on earth she has. If Mica doesn’t come back, she swears she’ll kill him. Natalie says Mica will be back.

Eddie waits for Ian in the parking garage, and tases him for like, 30 seconds. He tells Ian, he has nothing to lose. Where is his daughter? Ian says he doesn’t know, and Eddie tases him again, asking, where is she? Ian had better think quick. Eddie tases Ian again, and Ian screams. Eddie asks where his daughter is. Larry wouldn’t tell him, so Ian had better think of answers real quick, damn him. Ian tries to get up, but Eddie gets some duct tape (he probably keeps a handy roll in his pocket), and tapes the taser to Ian’s back, so that it just keeps going. He asks if Ian likes it, and tells Ian to think about his daughter. Ian just lies there, and Eddie says he should have talked.

Unless the whole town and everyone in it blows up, there’s no way this story is ending neatly. They’ve only got twenty more minutes.

Eddie walks into Larry’s room, and Larry’s wife tells him, get out. He punches her in the face, and she drops to the floor. He asks if Larry thinks he’s done with him. He grabs Larry by the collar of his hospital gown, and says, tell him. Larry says he doesn’t know, and Eddie grabs a pillow. Larry insists he doesn’t know, and Eddie puts the pillow over Larry’s face, and pushes down. He says he can’t hear Larry. He lifts the pillow, and Larry gives him an address, saying she’s in a container or something; it’s hard to understand him. Eddie asks if she can breathe, and puts the pillow back on Larry’s face. He lifts it again, and Larry cries out. He says he doesn’t know, and Eddie resumes smothering him, and pressing harder. Eddie says, Larry can’t breathe. I’m not sure, but I think Larry is dead. Yep; he’s flatlining. Remind me not to go to this hospital. Ever. Their security is worse than at GH.

A security guard finds Ian, and asks if he’s all right. He removes the taser, and calls for a stretcher. He tells Ian, hang in with him. He sees Eddie coming, and says they need help. Eddie grabs his taser, and the guard says, someone did this to Ian. Eddie says he doesn’t give a sh*t. This wore his battery down. He kicks Ian, and walks off. The guard is like, WTF?

Rick knocks on Brad’s door, and asks for Marcie. I hate Brad and Marcie. Rick says he needs the body ID’d, and Brad asks if it has to happen right now. Rick says, sorry, and Brad says he’ll go with her, and Rick asks if he doesn’t have kids. Brad asks if Randal isn’t next door, but Rick says he’s at the morgue. Rick also has a couple of questions. Marcie asks, about what? and he says, an eyewitness saw a female leaving the house; bloody, and wearing a blue dress. He sees Alex, and asks, who’s that? Brad says, his ex-wife. He invites Rick in, and Rick asks if Brad minds if he asks Alex a few questions. This is probably because Alex is now wearing Marcie’s blue dress, with blood stains on it. Mind you, the dress looks like it has uniform splatters on it, and the rest of Alex is totally pristine. Which is actually hard to believe after the night she had. Brad says Alex is out of it, and Rick asks, for how long? Brad says, she came home drunk, and she’s been doing drugs. She blacks out, and does things she doesn’t remember. Rick rouses Alex, and she swats at him, saying, don’t touch her. Where is she? Rick asks, where was she today? and she says she doesn’t know. How did she get here? Rick tells her, come with him, and she asks, why? She says she doesn’t know what’s going on, and asks what happened to her? He says she doesn’t know? and helps her up. He steers her to the door, and she asks why they’re leaving. She calls to Brad, who doesn’t even react, and Rick tells Brad and Marcie to meet him at the station. He takes Alex out.

After they leave, Marcie freaks, but Brad says, be cool.

Esperanza paces, which has been her natural state lately. She hears over the radio, 187 on a female (187 is dead, for those who aren’t familiar with the lingo), and Lushion tells the officers to go outside. Esperanza asks if it was Mica, and Lushion says they don’t know. She says she wants to hear, but he says he’ll ask outside. She tells him to hurry, and as the officers leave, Eddie walks in, and I gasp. I’ve done that a lot during this episode. Esperanza pushes everyone back. Eddie is crying, and she says, son of a bitch. Did he see her? He nods, and cries some more, and she asks, what happened? He says, that son of a bitch; he did it. She says, that’s right. Eddie never does anything wrong. Eddie says, Larry did this, but she says, no. Eddie did this. He says he didn’t come there for this craziness, and she says, he’s crazy. And he’s going to take responsibility for what he did. She’s going to make him do it. He says it’s her fault. She made their daughter crazy. Esperanza calmly takes a gun out of a drawer in the coffee table, and shoots the sh*t out of Eddie. He slumps against the front door. I’m like, whoa. At least that’s done. Lushion tells Esperanza, put the gun down. Eddie looks at her one more time, and breathes his last. Esperanza cries.

🙋🏽‍♀️ A Note Of Farewell…

This sucks in the most humongous way. I love Tyler Perry, and I loved this show. Some of the plots may have seemed silly, but it’s soap in its truest form. The bad guys were the worst, and the good guys had blinding halos (I’m especially talking to you, Lushion), except for Brad, who’s halo got decidedly tarnished at the end. I’m not sure what happened to him, but I wasn’t thrilled with how he nearly pinned Randal’s killing on Bennett, and then pinned it on Alex. Although we won’t speak of how neither of them had a speck of blood on them.

I’ll never forget the moment I fell in love with ILYIW. Alex had just had the baby – who never even got a name, poor thing – and all the women were looking into the nursery. The baby was obviously Black, and Natalie said, so who’s going to tell Brad? In perfect soap timing, Brad had come in, and said, tell me what? For those who love soap, we’ve seen variations on that scene play out a million times. It gave the show the official soap stamp of approval.

While often called nighttime drama, I like to call a soap a soap, and Tyler evoked the vibe of the nighttime soap’s heyday, the 80s days of Dynasty and Dallas. I don’t know if it’s the type of film he uses, the way it’s written and directed, or a combination of things, but I was hooked on The Haves and the Have Nots right away, as well as If Loving You Is Wrong when it followed. I’m not even sure why I started watching them, although I probably saw an ad while watching OWN. It’s been time well spent. Only half-joking. The writing is awesome, and many scenes make me feel like I’m watching a play, they’re so tight. And I get the feeling the actors are allowed a little freedom. The casts are top-notch too.

Why this show isn’t making a return appearance, I have no idea, but my feelings tonight are conflicted. While I was thrilled to see both Randal and Eddie get what was coming to them – and by exactly the right people – too much was left unsaid. Like WTF Brad? How is Alex being arrested going to play out? Will Ian make it? Now what happens to Esperanza? It wasn’t like Eddie was being aggressive. And who will Kelly end up with? Tyrell, Rick, someone completely different, or will she take a breather and enjoy being single? What about Tanya? Did Brad and Marcie ride off into the sunset? Who the blip is Casey? Way too many unanswered questions. They should have at least given this a two-hour finale.

I’m going to miss this show… sniff

 Heard in passing. Yesterday in Below Deck Mediterranean‘s recap, I wasn’t sure if it was Captain Sandy’s father or brother who was a cop and hunter, but when I had a rerun on in the background, I heard her say it was her stepdad. Okay. I was close.

🥇 Tyler Steps Up…

The hardest working man in show business puts his money where his mouth is.

🛌 And So To Bed…

It’s been a long TV night, so stay safe, stay flexible, and stay making a difference.

May 29, 2020 – The 2015 Ball Continues, GH Family, Special 90, Dodd Again, Talley Speaks, Real Ring, Scheana’s World, Getting Help, Baby Time, Doodle This, 10½ Quotes & You


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

To round out the week of Nurse’s Ball flashbacks, today’s GH was from May 5th, 2015. Elizabeth had an announcement, and while we all thought she was going to tell everyone Jake Doe was really Jason (although he was ultimately Jason’s twin), when she took the mic, she talked about Robin and Stone, and Robin’s courage. She said she wished she could be that brave. After playing Phantom of the Nurse’s Ball, tiny terrorizing the event, and not impressing Emma (a scene I’d missed yesterday), Spencer’s late mother Courtney paid him an otherworldly visit. Courtney told him that making people feel badly reflected badly on him, and maybe he really felt badly about himself. She encouraged him to go to the Ball, and stop pretending that he had a hideous deformity. She got him to remove his make, and he really didn’t have much of anything.

At the Ball, Elizabeth told Nikolas she wanted the chance with Jake that she never had with Jason, and that she deserved happiness. Jake did a lot of talking to who-the-hell-is-that-guy? and Spinelli sang Stephen Bishop’s It Might Be You, which was my wedding song. Mixed emotions there – ha-ha. Who-the-hell-is-that-guy? #2 talked to Duke about taking Jordan out, and I don’t mean on a date. Felix presented Lucy with flowers, and the show ended with Sabrina and Epiphany singing You’re Not Alone, and everyone joining hands on stage.

I have no clue what the deal is for next week, or whether they’re going to continue the 2015 Ball, which has another episode. The digital guide isn’t showing any episodes as new, so we’ll see.

🏡 It All Comes Down To Family…

There’s a new GH promo in town.

🍼 90 Day Fiancé: What Now? Lauran and Alexi’s Baby Special airs Monday, June 1st at 10 pm. I think these two are going to make fabulous parents.

🤷🏻‍♂️ She’s Just Misunderstood…

When you have to explain what you meant every time you say something, maybe you should learn new words.

👠 He Saw, He Vogued, He Conquered…

I’m feeling so bad about my dog, I actually paid full price for the Nook version of The Chiffon Trenches. It’s okay, but not as good as the Bette Davis bio I just finished. Still, both of them had their heartaches.

👘 The Story Behind the Story…

The Japanese version is almost always better.

👙 Oh Scheana, My Scheana…

If she thinks she’s not being promoted, I’d like to know what the endless flashbacks of Good As Gold, and having to watch her new crappy music video (aka, the closest she’s ever going to get to Brett again) was about. And besides, she should know LVP can do no wrong.

🥼 Hopefully It Sticks…

I like Dorinda, and being a bully doesn’t suit her, or serve the show well.

🤰🏾 The Right To Choose…

Miss Quad (Married To Medicine) has adopted.

And you can find Kandi’s advice on surrogacy here.

🎨 I’ll Show You Mine…

See my Google Doodle and make one of your own.

🗣 Quotes of the Week

Life is problems. Living is solving problems. – Raymond E. Feist

Expectations make people miserable, so whatever yours are, lower them. You’ll definitely be happier. – Simone Elkeles (Or as Kevin James as Doug on King of Queens would say, the lower you go, the happier you’ll be.)

You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. – Epicurus

Thank God for wine. – a girl on Blind Date

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. – Albert Einstein

There comes a point when you either embrace who and what you are, or condemn yourself to be miserable all your days. – Laurell K. Hamilton

Pain is a pesky part of being human, I’ve learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. – C. JoyBell C.

Wow. That seems a little late. – an 11-year-old after her mother told her she’s the first Black lead in The Nutcracker

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. – Maya Angelou

In every age, the good old days were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them. – Brooks Atkinson

🤸🏽‍♀️ Wherever You Go, There You Are…

Not my greatest week, but we made it to another end of one, and get to do it all over again. Now that there’s been a bit of a tide turn, get out and do something different if you can. Start reclaiming your weekend. Be kind, and don’t be stupid. See you on the Deck side, and meanwhile, stay safe, stay keeping your distance socially, and please, stay rational.

May 27, 2020 – Third Day At the Ball, Gang Up in Santa Barbara, Denise’s Dilemma, Photo Reveal, OC Sorrow, New Med Ride, an Apology, Some Laughs, a Short, Virtual Exhibitions, Two Reunions, Winning & Rolling


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s flashback GH brought another day of the 2014 Nurse’s Ball, from May 14th, 2014. Blackie Parrish (aka John Stamos) didn’t show, so Brad took his place. Maxie was dating that Australian dude who was a cast member for a hot minute, but starting to fall for Nathan. Yoplait was mentioned a thousand times as a sponsor, and old Nikolas was there with young Spencer, who was in love with even younger Emma. Mac brought out Mr. Marbles, who Epiphany stomped into oblivion, much to the delight of the audience, and fake Luke was thwarted from stealing Tracy’s ELQ shares by Ned. Emma and Cameron did the tango, as everyone remembered Duke and Anna the year before. Spencer interrupted their performance by introducing Player, who sang Baby, Come Back, his plea to Emma.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle invited the women to a house she’d rented in Santa Barbara. Garcelle had other plans, and Denise was late, due to filming The Bold and the Beautiful, where she was playing a bitch and loving it. In delicate flower Dorit’s interview, she was upset because Kyle had told her to STFU, and she thought that kind of stuff in a friendship made it uneasy. Really? Kyle was annoyed with the couples therapy remark, since what she and Teddi did was more akin to a Yoga class. For some reason, it bothers everyone that Kyle is closer to Teddi than she is to the rest of them. I have no clue why anyone cares, much less why Dorit keeps demanding Kyle admit it. While I never hung out in a large core friends group, I can’t imagine everyone is equally close. Why is this some deceptive affront? When Teddi arrived, she said she had to go potty real quick, and I thought, that’s a woman with children. It’s really hard to take care of kids all the time, and not consistently phrase things like you’re talking to them. In Erika’s interview, she said Kyle had hurt her feelings – we flashed back to Kyle questioning whether Erika had any good friends – but she wasn’t throwing away their friendship over a bad night. However, there were only so many bad nights she was going to tolerate.

Kyle said she had great memories of her dad, who lived in Santa Barbara after her parents divorced, and thought it was one of the reasons she loved the city so much. Manager Kate welcomed them to the house, and they cruised around in some kind of vehicles that looked like golf carts, but were really double bicycles, with pedals on both the driver’s and passenger’s sides. Dorit wondered why she had to get [stuck with] the pregnant one (i.e. Teddi). When it turned into a race, Erika asked why everything had to be a contest in this group. Although I’m not a fan, it was a good point.

Before Denise’s arrival, the women dickered over confronting her, saying her objection to their adult conversation in front of the kids was hypocritical. I actually made a blech noise when I saw LisaR’s face as Denise sat down. It was that duck suck-it face Max made when they opened the cupcake shop on 2 Broke Girls, but without being intentionally funny. When they got back to their crib, Kyle wondered why no one wanted to look at the gorgeous view with her. Probably because they were too busy prepping to be mean old girls. Moron A-hole Ridiculous bitch LisaR broached the threesome subject to Denise by asking her about filming Wild Things. In her interview, Erika sarcastically said, thank God there were no children around; tender ears. God help me. If I ever see any of these cretinous wretches on the street, I’ll be going to jail. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but it doesn’t take one to understand there’s a difference between being in an adult atmosphere and a home party where there are children present and within earshot. I had to sit on my Twitter impulse through the whole show. Denise said she didn’t think her daughters had seen the film, but in her interview, LisaR was certain they must have. Once again, she couldn’t fathom anything outside of her own experience, saying that her daughters had seen everything of hers, and read the sex manual she’d authored. She didn’t mention that her daughters, especially Amelia, don’t seem nearly as well-adjusted as Denise’s kids. Yes. I went there, since LisaR clearly has a double-standard. God forbid anyone criticizes her parenting, yet she’s very free with advice for Denise. Denise couldn’t figure out why they didn’t get it either. Sutton suggested not inviting the kids if there might be adult conversation. If I had been Denise, I’d have suggested not inviting Sutton, but Denise stayed gracious. She told Sutton, it was her home, and she’d do what she damn well pleased, but in a nicer way.

The not-close friends Kyle and Teddi rehashed everything after the others went to bed. Teddi said, even though Denise claimed she didn’t care and it was no big deal, she’d brought it up multiple times, so she did care. She told Kyle that Denise must be bringing it up to make them feel bad. Since actual facts don’t matter, neither one of them bothered noticing that while Denise did mention it privately to two people, after that, someone else brought it up every time. What is wrong with these women?

At breakfast, LisaR wanted everyone to quit pussy-footing around, and get whatever was bubbling under the surface, out in the open. Dorit brought up something from forever ago, Erika jumped on the Memory Lane bandwagon, and I fully expected the return of Puppygate. Teddi accused Dorit of dragging her into it every time Dorit had an issue with Kyle, and shading her.

Since LisaR’s real goal was to continue haranguing Denise, she told Denise that she was uncomfortable about the conversation that went down, and didn’t like how Denise shut down the threesome dialogue. LisaR said Denise was using the kids to make them feel bad. The one who says kids are off limits. Erika thought Denise was being judgy, and LisaR said she was being contradictory. Erika said Denise inferred they were bad moms, even though she was very free with her own sex talk. LisaR squeaked that Denise had to own it, and asked if Denise talked to her daughters about the hookers in Charlie’s life. In Denise’s interview, she wondered what LisaR’s agenda was, since they’d been friends for twenty years. LisaR knew how fiercely she protected the kids, and it was hurtful. LisaR told the women, there were hurt feelings, and it was good to address it. to which the response was a roomful of crickets. What really creeps me out is, they all act like it’s about honesty and making things right, but their faces tell a different story. After revealing what they deem as truth, but is really an opinion, there’s always this look of triumph, like they’ve won something. So far, the only appropriate prize would be a kick in their Spanxed rear ends.

Next time, Garcelle is honored at the Mission Gala, Denise tells Aaron about the women confronting her, Denise calls Teddi a sh*t-effing-stirrer, and Denise and Aaron leave a party early.

💋 Did She Or Didn’t She…?

I wouldn’t blame Denise if she walked and never looked back. Although I can’t say she wasn’t given fair warning last season, this gang mentality is not a good look.

👨🏼‍✈️ Erika’s Other Man…

He is pretty cute.

🍊 Aftershock…

Jeana speaks about Matt.

The OG’s react.

⛴ They Got a Bigger Boat…

Looks like Captain Sandy got a new ride.

⛵️ Jenna Jenna Sorry…

I thought love meant never having to say you’re sorry.

😆 We Could Use a Laugh…

Bodega Cat rules!

📱 Das Fone Hell…

Actors get creative in quarantine.

🎨 Feed Your Inner Artistry…

Take a tour outside the virtual box.

⚔️ The Reunion for Below Deck Sailing Yacht will air on Monday, June 1st at 8 pm, and the Vanderpump Rules Reunion will begin with Part One on Tuesday, June 2nd at 9 pm. The Shahs Reunion? Who knows? (Yes, I’m still harping on that.)

🎱 So We’re Doomed…?

Referring to the coronavirus, according to Ben Carson, people coming together – this is the way that we will win.

🕸 Clearing the Cobwebs…

After a little over a lifetime two months in quarantine, bans are being lifted and things are starting to open up. Whether you’ll be starting over or just starting to roll again, stay safe, stay considerate, and stay believing it will all work out in the end.

May 26, 2020 – A Ball To Remember, VanderSecrets, What Eddie Cares About, Daytime Emmy News, Virtually NYC & Fire


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s GH was a continuation of the 2014 Nurse’s Ball (specifically, May 9, 2014). Spencer was still practically an infant, Starr was still Kiki, Eddie Maine sang Meatloaf’s You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth, and fake Luke sang I Am What I Am from La Cage aux Folles (one of my favorite songs ever). Fake Luke also asked Tracy to marry him right then and there, and Lucy was happy to officiate. Elizabeth caught the bouquet. They wrapped it up with Magic Milo and his Magic Wands dancing to AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long, ending the song with Nurse’s Ball spelled out on their backsides.

Eddie rocks

Thoughts at the time.

What’s happening this week.

🍸 Tonight’s Vanderpump Rules was a Secrets Revealed special. Hint: there were no secrets. It was basically extended scenes from this season’s episodes, given a boost with interjected videos of the cast in quarantine. Poor Lisa. She’s thinking of bringing the ponies inside. Next week: the Reunion, Part One.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Natalie listens at Kelly’s bedroom door, and hears muffled noises. She bursts in, saying, you MF’ers! and is surprised to see Tyrell and Pat in the bed. Natalie scrambles back out, as Lushion and Kelly are coming in the back door. Lushion asks, what’s wrong? Why is she stuttering? She says she’s been calling him, and he says they’ll talk. He wonders what the noise is, but goes to the living room with Natalie. Kelly investigates, and asks, what the hell is going on? Tyrell, who’s putting on his clothes at this point, says he was… and Kelly says, just leaving. It’s too much. He asks if she’s putting him out, and she says, hell yeah. She asks who Pat is, and Tyrell says, a friend; sorry. She tells them to get their asses out.

Kelly goes into the living room, and says, damn. Lushion asks, what’s going on? and Kelly asks where Natalie is. He says, she’s at the house, and Kelly asks if they can keep Justice a while longer so she can handle this. He says, handle what? and she says, this. Tyrell and Pat come out, and Lushion says, ohh. Pat leaves, and Lushion isn’t far behind. Tyrell says, hey, and Kelly asks why Pat was in the house. He says he and Kelly aren’t together; what’s her problem? She says, seriously? No part of his brain gets it? He just got out of jail, came to her house, and brings a trick to her bed. She asks who it was, and he says, a friend from back in the day. She asks, how far back? Is it Leslie? This totally confuses me, since I swear it was Nurse Pat. Tyrell says, it was nine years ago, and Kelly says, she’s clearly let herself go. He says he’s glad Kelly is out, and Kelly says she is too. He asks how it worked out, and she tells him, the DA dropped the charges. He says he doesn’t have anywhere to go, and can he please stay there. She says, it’s a lot, but let her talk to Justice first. He wants to see Justice, and she tells him, go for a walk. Give her a couple of hours, and let her talk to him. And wash her damn sheets. She wants no trace of that bitch in her house; not a thread of her damn weave. She’s going to take a shower, and he needs to do the same. He asks if she’s saying she wants to… and she says, please. He says he was just asking. It’s good to see her. She says she’ll figure out how good it is to see him when she calms down. He tells her that Natalie attacked them when she came in, and Kelly says, that’s not good. He asks, why not?

Alone in the bathroom, Kelly gets out her phone.

Natalie tells Lushion, he got a text, and hands him his phone. He asks how Natalie is, and she says, good. He tells her something smells good, and she says, it’s the pork chops. He asks if she wants to tell him why she was calling, and she says, Eddie. He was in the house. He just walked in. Lushion says, bastard, and she says, is he? He says Eddie showed her the video, and she says he did. Lushion says Kelly kissed him. She said she was just excited, and he made it clear there was nothing on his end. Natalie asks if there was something on Kelly’s end, but he says she was just happy. Natalie says, and she just happened to kiss him? Why did she text? Lushion says Kelly thought Natalie believed Tyrell and the girl were them. Natalie asks to see it, and Lushion says, no; he’s not going to do that. They’ve been through this about her questioning his love and commitment. Eddie happened to be there, trying to make something of it. She asks if she’s not allowed to have questions, and he says, not when comes to trusting him. She asks if he thinks that’s fair, and he says, yes. Because he knows what kind of man he is, and so does she. She wonders if she can ask one question, but he says, not when it comes to that. She says she’ll just ask Kelly, and he says, go ahead. Lushion types, and she asks if he’s texting Kelly. He says, maybe; maybe not. Let him know when dinner ready. He starts out the door, and she mumbles, a-hole. He says he heard that.

On the porch, Lushion calls Eddie. He asks if Eddie thinks he did something to bring Lushion’s ass down, and Eddie asks how Natalie is. Lushion says, fine. Keep pushing. Bennett drives up, and asks how Lushion is. Lushion says he’s good, and asks how Tanya is. Bennett says, as well as can be expected, and Lushion says he’s sorry. Randal keeps pestering everyone in the neighborhood, so just be aware. He asks why Lushion keeps dropping by Randal’s house, and Lushion says, it’s in his nature; it’s his job. if Bennett sees anything, let him know. Bennett says he has to be careful, or Tanya will think he’s checking on her. Lushion gets it, but he’ll let Randal know that Bennett might do a random stop-by. Bennett says he tried to file a police report on Randal, but he ran into Eddie. Lushion says Eddie is a bit crazy, and asks how it went. Bennett says he didn’t end up doing it, and Lushion says he can help. He tells Bennett to come by tomorrow, and thanks him for being one of the good guys. Bennett says Lushion is too, and drives off.

Ian approaches Lushion, and Lushion says Ian did a great job for Kelly. He wasn’t sure he could trust him. Ian says he told Lushion he could. He tells Lushion that Larry called Carl into his office and offered him a job. Lushion asks what Carl did, and Ian says, the kid held his own. He told Larry, no. Then Larry tricked Ian, and got his phone at the same time Carl was calling, and Ian got fired. Lushion says he’s sorry, but Ian says, it was worth it. He needs to start his own practice anyway… right after he sues Larry. Larry will settle because Ian knows where the bodies are buried. He asks if Lushion has seen Alex, and Lushion says, no; why? Ian says he needs to talk to her. It might be a long shot, but he slept with her around the same time she got pregnant. Lushion says, and he wants to know if the baby is his. Ian says, they met on a dating app, but she slept with a lot of guys. Who knows? Lushion says, just when you think you know someone. It’s crazy as hell. Ian says he’ll talk to Alex later, and Lushion says, sorry about his job. Ian says, it’s all good, and walks back home.

Randal looks on his laptop at a video of Bennett trashing Randal’s house. He says Bennett thinks he’s playing, but he’s got him. He takes the laptop, and heads over to Bennett’s house, where Tanya is painting. He comes up to the window next to her, and she asks what the hell he’s doing. He says he wants to show her something, and she tells him, get away. He shows her the video, and says, that’s her husband. In his house. Tearing it apart. She says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and closes the window. Randal yells, open the door, but she won’t, so Randal just walks in. Since no one ever locks their doors in Maxine. He says he’s calling the cops, and she says, please don’t. She needs Bennett. Randal asks, why? and she says Bennett is sorry; he’s just trying to protect her. She told him Randal was looking at her. She says, it’s too stressful, and he says, what’s stressful? He keeps asking, and she says Randal can’t send Bennett to jail. He asks if Bennett is a good guy, and she nods. He says he is going to send Bennett to jail, and she says she can’t breathe. She starts to scream, and Randal smiles. He says, there’s my girl, and she says it’s all her fault. He takes her medication off the coffee table, and switches it with something he brought with him. He tells her, relax; this will make her feel better. He promises it will help. She takes one, and he says he won’t send Bennett to jail. He wants her to rest. She grabs him, and he says, let him go. She keeps asking him to promise, and he gives her another pill, saying, trust him. Randal tells her that if she tells Bennett about this, he will send Bennett to jail. The pills should be kicking in any moment. He tells Tanya, she should probably have one more, and if she’s more anxious, take another one. He leaves, saying, sleep well.

Marcie watches from Brad’s house, and says, what the hell are you up to?

Steven rigs up the bathroom door, and puts a caution wet floor sign outside. He wraps his hand using toilet paper (now more precious than gold), and Eddie comes out of stall. Eddie chatters on about nothing, and Steven stays silent. Eddie tries to open the bathroom door, and gets shocked. He asks what Steven did to the door; it turns him on. Steven suggests Eddie grab it again, and he does. Although it’s obviously painful, Eddie says it just gets him going. Does Steven want to play this game?  Steven says Eddie told his daughter lies about him and Esperanza. Eddie asks what the hell Steven wants to do about it, and Steven says, beat his ass. Eddie asks if Steven thinks so, and Steven says he knows so. Eddie takes out his gun, and asks if Steven’s got one, but Steven says he doesn’t need one. Eddie asks if Steven knows who the hell he’s talking to, and Steven asks how Eddie is going to explain this one. Eddie says he doesn’t need an explanation to put a bullet in Steven’s punk ass. Steven tells Eddie to get on the phone, call his daughter, and tell her that everything he’s said about her mother is a lie. Tell her that her mother is a wonderful person. Eddie says, that’s not going to happen, and Steven says he hoping Eddie would say that. An officer walks in, and asks, what’s going on? Steven says, nothing, and Eddie confirms, yeah, nothing. Steven says Eddie was just leaving, and Eddie says, yes, he was.

Larry is waiting for Eddie out in the hallway. Eddie asks what the hell Larry wants, and Larry says he wants the money Eddie owes him. Eddie says he blew it on cocaine. Larry says he’s beginning to get the impression Eddie doesn’t want to give it back. Eddie says he doesn’t, and Larry says, okay. He makes a call, and says, do it now. Eddie asks if that’s supposed to scare him, and Larry says, maybe a little. Eddie says, it doesn’t, and Larry asks if there’s anything Eddie cares about; anything he loves. Eddie says he loves him some Eddie. He’s beautiful. Larry says, yes, he is, and Eddie says Larry saw him naked; he’s a beast. Larry says, he is too. The type of beast who eats their own young. Eddie says Larry is a big pussy cat, and Larry asks if Eddie is sure there’s nothing he cares about. Eddie asks how many times Larry is going to ask. Larry walks away, and Eddie says, that guy is an a-hole.

Johnny rouses Alex, who asks if it’s closing time. He says they reopen at 9, and asks if she’s ready to go home. She stretches, and says, let’s go, but he says he means her home. She says she’s not going back there; she’s staying with him. He says, no. People come there, trying to run away from their lives. She tells him, don’t try to save her soul, but he says he’s trying to tell her the truth. He’s seen it all. You can try to drink your life away, and run away from it all, but when you wake up, the problems will still be there. Go home. She says her home is with him. He kisses her hand, and says she’s sweet, but he’s only known her for a couple of hours. She asks if he doesn’t think she’s sexy; she’s had three kids. He says she’s incredible, and Alex says, so don’t throw her away. Johnny says she just met him. Give herself a chance to sober up, and then come back. She says she’s perfectly sober. She touches her nose, and says, come on, but he shakes his head, and says, go home. She says, please. She needs something. Give her a little something. She just wants a little escape. She can’t go back to that life. He asks if she really wants to escape, and takes a packet of white powder out of his pocket. He says, something to help her escape. She says she doesn’t know if she can do that. Does he do it? He says, from time to time; it’s no big deal. She says, okay, and rolls up her sleeve. She says, if she does it, can she stay with him? He says, forever, and she says she wants it. He says, she’s about to get it.

Marcie cleans up after dinner. Brad says, it was good, and she says he sounds surprised. He says, know what else? It was good how good the kids were. She says, they didn’t seem bothered, and he says he still has to watch them closely. She says he did a good job raising them, but he says, Alex did most of the work. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s fine. He has to be. She says, he has her; he doesn’t have to do this alone. He says she hasn’t accepted his proposal, and she says, with all he’s going through, does he really want to talk about that? He says she means that much to him, but she thinks they should take it slow. She kisses him, and says she’s checking on the baby. She goes upstairs, and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Ian.

Brad asks what he can do for Ian, and Ian asks if Alex is there. He’d like to talk to her. Brad asks, what about? and Ian says, the divorce. Brad says, it’s done, but Ian says she still has papers to sign. Marcie comes back, and Brad says Ian is there to see Alex. Marcie says Alex isn’t there; she left Brad with the kids. Ian asks if they know where she went, and Brad says, probably with one of the many guys she’s been dating. Ian asks if she took the baby, and Marcie says she left all the kids with Brad. Brad asks, why? and Ian says he’s just asking. Marcie asks, what’s going on? and Ian says, nothing; he’ll come back. Brad says he thought Ian looked familiar. He shows him the laptop, with a page from Alex’s dating site on the screem. Brad reads, meet me at the Maxine hotel for lunch. How big is he? Marcie is like, Brad… and Ian says, just tell her that he wants to talk to her. Brad says the date is around the same time Alex got pregnant, and he’s pretty good at math. Is that why Ian is there? Does he think the baby is his? If he does, Brad wants a DNA result. Ian says, just tell her that he wants to talk to her, and Brad suggests he call her. Ian says, he’ll do that, and leaves. Brad says, do you believe that? and Marcie says she’s starting to believe anything about Alex. Ian does kind of look like the baby. Brad says, unbelievable. He’s going to help the kids finish their homework. He wants her to sleep upstairs, but Marcie says she’s not going into her room. She asks if Brad remembers the window that looks out to the other house, and Brad asks if she wants to have sex like wild animals. Does she think he’ll see? She says, he will.

Tyrell tells Kelly that she looks beautiful. She says she just got out of jail, and he says, so did he. She says she just wanted to clean up for Justice. She suggests Tyrell go on that walk, and he tells her again that she’s beautiful. She asks if he thought they were going to pick up where they left off. He says that’s not what he was thinking. He needs to get on his feet, and get out of there. She says, good plan; let’s work on that. In the meantime, go for a walk. Tanya walks into the house, and sits in between Kelly and Tyrell on the couch. Kelly says, what the hell? Who is she? Tyrell says he doesn’t know, and Kelly asks if it’s another ho. He says he doesn’t know her, and Tanya says, don’t talk to her or touch her. Kelly asks who she is, and Tanya asks who Kelly is. Kelly says Tanya is in her house. Tanya says she doesn’t like her colors; her colors are angry. Kelly says she needs to leave, and Tanya says it’s pretty there. Tyrell says, she’s off, and Kelly asks her name. She says, Tanya, and Kelly asks if she lives around there. Tanya says, across the valley in the blue canyon. Tyrell says, there’s a blue house across the street, and Kelly tells Tanya that she can’t stay there. Walk back home. Tanya says, Kelly is so rude, and gets up and leaves. Kelly and Tyrell follow her outside, and see her meandering down the street, and swinging around a mailbox. Bennett runs up, and says he was looking for her. She says she doesn’t want to go inside, and he suggests they sit there. She plops herself of the curb, and he sits next to her. She tells him, shut up, but he says he’s not talking. He asks her to come in the house, and she asks what planet he’s from. Randal wanders over. Ugh.

Steven calls Esperanza, and asks if Mica is doing better. Esperanza says, no; she’s been locked in her room all day. He says he’s sorry, and asks if she’s talked to Eddie, but she says, not since she said what she had to say. He’s been quiet, which is really strange, but they don’t need him making things worse. She asks if Steven is okay, and he says he’s fine; why? She says the way Mica spoke to him… and he says she should hear what the kids say on the street. It’s nothing. She says he’s not dating their moms, and he says he’s fine. Go take care of her daughter. They’ll talk later. She notices a pause, and says he was going to say I love you. He tells her, get off his phone. She says she thinks he was, and he says, bye.

Esperanza goes to Mica’s room, and tells her, come on. She opens the door, but Mica isn’t in her room. Esperanza looks through the house, but still no Mica. She hears a scream, and runs outside, as a van carrying her daughter speeds past. She looks frantic.

Next time – three episodes left – Natalie tells Kelly that she doesn’t want to deal with this sh*t, Brad confronts Ian about Alex, Tyrell wants things to be the way they used to be with Kelly, Bennett punches Randal, and Eddie goes crazy.

🏆 Where’s Max…?

While I’m glad to see Jon Lindstrom has been nominated, WTF is Max Gail?

🗽 For Your Virtual Pleasure…

Hint: Snoop is involved.

🌆 Calling It a Night, Even Though It’s Morning…

It’s been a long day, and a long week already, so stay safe, stay in the groove, and stay being a light in a dark place.

May 19, 2020 – Waiting For Sonny’s Permission, VanderFinale, Don’t Knock & Buzzard Shower


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly, Michael, and Willow go to the MetroCourt. Michael wonders why Diane stayed behind, and Carly says she’s probably telling Nelle’s attorney to drop the suit, since Nelle married the least desirable man in Port Charles. Willow wonders why Nelle did it, but Carly says it’s not about what Nelle did wrong; it’s about what Michael and Willow are doing right for Wiley.

Sonny asks why Julian is throwing in with them, but Julian says he doesn’t answer to Sonny. He starts to go, but Sonny says Julian isn’t leaving; the conversation’s not over. Jason stands on Julian’s other side.

Nina finds Nelle at the Crimson office, and says she thought the custody hearing was today. Nelle says they’re on a break, and she stopped by to change. Long story. Nina goes into her office, and Nelle follows. Nelle says she also wanted to double-check on Nina testifying on her behalf. Nina says, the thing is… and Nelle says she’s fighting stay in her son’s life, and thought Nina would understand. Nina says she’s been thinking about the situation a lot, and reexamining her own. She’s going to find her child. She believes her daughter is alive. Nelle says she’s thrilled for Nina and her daughter. She knows Nina’s daughter will see Nina for who she is; the gold standard of moms.

On the phone at Charlie’s, Elizabeth tells Franco, sorry to be bailing, but she doesn’t think she’ll be able to see him before work. He says he’s had no chance to apologize properly. She says  he did; he apologized right away. He says, of course (🍷) he did, but he thinks this requires a bigger gesture. She says she’s over it. She had a nice talk with Nikolas, and he gave her perspective as to what art means to her, and the value of her work. Franco says, princely, but Elizabeth says, he’s just being a friend. He asks if Nikolas has found her sister, or is Hayden still in hiding? and she says she’ll see him later. They exchange I love yous. Scotty sees that Franco has a bouquet, and asks if the flowers are for him. He thinks Franco must have done something stupid, or said something stupid. Franco says he couldn’t make it up to Elizabeth, and Nikolas beat him to it. Scotty says, it figures.

Nikolas shows Mike pictures of Spencer, but gets no response. He asks if Mike remembers his grandson.

Franco asks what Scotty means by, it figures. Scotty says he thinks Nikolas would do better in cheering Elizabeth up. They have a history that goes way back to when they were kids. Franco asks if Scotty has a point, and Scotty says, it’s all about the time they’ve spent together. If Elizabeth gets confused about anything, and needs reassurance, she might turn to Nikolas if Franco botched it up. Franco says, it’s ancient history, and has no bearing on the present day, but Scotty says he wouldn’t trust Nikolas, especially when it comes to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth watches as Nikolas tells Mike, Spencer is in Europe. He’s quite a character; unforgettable, like Mike. Spencer has found a finely tuned sense of right and wrong, and to be honest, he was more flexible when he was younger. Nikolas might have questionable ethics, but Spencer is a good boy. He hopes Spencer comes back someday. He tells Mike, hang in there. In the hallway, Elizabeth says she overheard him with Mike, and he says he was hoping Spencer might spark something. It looks like the illness has taken its toll, but it was worth a try. She’s guessing Nikolas hasn’t heard from Spencer since his letter, and he says he couldn’t bring himself to tell her, since he knows she’s disappointed in him. She says it doesn’t matter how she feels, and he says, it matters more than she knows. He says he’s been working on the other piece of advice she gave him; that he look at the part of himself that was worthy of her friendship. She says she can tell, or he wouldn’t be there with Mike. He says he didn’t know she was going to be there, but she says she sees him trying to be a better person and reconnect, and she appreciates it.

Diane tells Carly, sorry for the delay, and Carly asks if there’s any chance Diane negotiated an out of court settlement. Diane says she let Alexis know that her sleazebag of an ex married Nelle. Nelle heard about Michael and Willow getting married, and wanted to level the playing field. Carly says, and she chose Julian? and Michael asks if it won’t hurt her case. Martin walks in, and tells them not to count their chickens before they hatch. Nelle and Julian are making a nest for Wiley, just like Michael and his newly wedded wife.

Sonny asks what Nelle has on Julian, and Julian says, not a damn thing. Sonny says, he loves her? and Julian says when he was Wiley’s grandfather, it brought Lucas back into his life. Sonny says he buys that Julian loves Wiley, but that doesn’t explain why he married Nelle. Julian says, Nelle loves Wiley in her own way. She came into his bar, ready to cause trouble, and they started to talk. One thing led to another, and they clicked. They decided to form a team to make a good home for Wiley. Sonny says, if it’s that simple, get rid of his wife. Annul the marriage now.

Nina asks when Nelle is due back in court, and Nelle says they’re on lunchbreak. She needed to change out of her wedding dress. Nina says, her what? and Nelle says, Michael married Willow to get a leg up in the custody case. She had to fight fire with fire. Nina asks who she married, and Nelle says Nina knows Julian, right? Nina says she does. He originally hired her to take over the magazine. She had no idea he and Nelle were in a relationship. Nelle says Nina knew Brad, and he used to be her friend. She thought they were friends anyway. Julian was Brad’s father-in-law when Brad stole her baby, and Julian thought Wiley was his grandson. Nina asks if they were dating, but Nelle says, that’s not what it was like. She was already a wreck when she found out Michael married Willow, so she went to Charlie’s to grab a glass of wine. She and Julian got to talking, and realized it would be absolutely terrible if Wiley wasn’t in their lives anymore. So they decided to get married. Nina says, so it’s a ploy to get custody of Wiley.

Diane tells Martin, she’s curious, and he says he’ll be happy to enlighten her if he can. She says Julian’s rap sheet is longer and more colorful than his client’s; why choose him? He says, love operates in mysterious ways. He’s sure Michael and his bride of less than 24 hours can attest to that. Willow says she and Michael were friends long before this, and have been taking care of Wiley his entire life. Diane says she has a photo gallery to back that up, and Michael says Willow went to jail to protect Wiley from Shiloh, the other psycho Nelle married. Carly says, Willow has proven she’ll do just about anything for Wiley, and Martin says, including marrying Michael himself. Like Michael isn’t the best catch in town.

Julian tells Sonny, he’s not annulling his marriage because Sonny said so. It might be difficult to grasp, but Sonny doesn’t get a say in his life. Sonny isn’t in his life period. Sonny says, if the game Julian is playing is to sway the judge to grant partial custody to Nelle, he’s going to hold Julian responsible. Julian asks if Sonny speaks for Jason too. He might not be Wiley’s grandfather, but he’s still Danny’s grandfather. Jason says, and? Julian says he’s just checking to see if it mattered. Sonny says Julian needs to do what needs to be done before it’s too late, and he and Jason leave.

Elizabeth tells Nikolas, Mike is like this a lot. Nikolas says he feels bad; he should have visited sooner. All the things he should have done; he has so many steps to go in the right direction. She says, for what it’s worth, she feels better about the art thing with Franco. He asks if they made up, and she says, kind of. Franco is super sorry. Not bad for someone who was once incapable of it. Franco reminds her of Ava. Nikolas says, touché. He asks if it doesn’t bother her that Ava is exploiting Franco’s past, and she says Ava and Franco have a history; why not exploit the past? If it goes well, they can start a new venture. Nikolas agrees, and she asks, what’s going on? His tone makes it sound like something is up. He says, he just senses Ava and Franco have been getting closer in their sessions.

Franco asks Scotty if he shouldn’t trust his wife, but Scotty says, no. Don’t trust Nikolas, especially where Elizabeth is concerned. Franco asks, why? Does he think Nikolas is going to try and win Elizabeth back? Scotty says he knows Elizabeth loves Franco. She worships him, and cherishes him. Franco says he senses a reversal is coming soon, and Scotty says, when Franco belittles and dismisses her about her art… Franco says, there it is, and Scotty says, what he’s telling Franco is to keep an eye on Nikolas. He motions Franco closer, and says, when it comes to Ava, Nikolas is in over his head. Ava will make him nuts, and when she does, he’ll go right to Elizabeth; his tried and true old relationship. Why? Who knows? Franco says, why wouldn’t he, right? Franco doesn’t care. It’s not going to lead to anything; they’re fine. And even if they’re not, she’s not going to fall for Nikolas’s smarmy Prince Charming act. Scotty says, it wouldn’t be the first time, and Franco says, even if she did, she wouldn’t do that to him. Scotty says Franco is right. He’s just saying that because it happened to him. When it came to Laura, who knew letting her work at a disco at night with her friend Luke would go wrong? Franco asks if Scotty is saying he shouldn’t trust his wife, and Scotty says, verify things.

Nikolas says he’s hanging onto hope that Spencer will forgive him, and Elizabeth suggests he do what Spencer asks – leave Ava. It’s 90% of his money, but… He says, the remaining 10% is earmarked for Spencer, and she says, there you go. He’ll have Spencer back in his life, sacrificing his money for his son. Sonny and Jason show up, and Nikolas says he finally got around to visiting Spencer’s grandfather. Jason goes in to see Mike, and Sonny tells Nikolas that he’s heard from Spencer. Nikolas asks how Spencer is doing, and Sonny says, he’s wondering why he hasn’t heard from Nikolas. He gave Nikolas an ultimatum; just cut Ava off. Why didn’t he? Nikolas says, it’s not as simple as it sounds. Sonny says Nikolas dug his own grave when he married Ava.

Martin says, if Nelle’s union is suspect, Michael’s is equally so. Perhaps more. Willow will do anything to stay close to Wiley. Willow says, what about Julian? He’s putting Wiley at risk, marrying a known sociopath who went to prison because she let her fiancé drown, and tried to kill her baby’s father. Martin says she’s throwing a lot of slander around, and she says take her to court. She’d love him getting an independent expert to prove her wrong. She bets he can’t find one. She wonders how he can even consider representing Nelle. He says, what a marvelous maternal temperature she has. Michael gets in between them, and says, it’s time to regroup. Willow leaves with Michael, and Carly tells Martin, Julian wouldn’t marry Nelle unless she had something on him. Everyone saw the look on his face; he’s miserable. Martin asks if it’s just him, or is the hypocrisy level staggering? Diane says, he took a big fat retainer to help Nelle use an innocent child. Martin asks how different Nelle is, hooking up with a humble pub owner in order to be closer to her son?

Nelle tells Nina, what she’s doing is no different than what Michael is doing, but Nina says he and Willow have a friendship and a deep bond, and Willow has a strong bond with Wiley. Nelle says, Willow isn’t his mother, and she has no right to him. Nina is out there looking for her daughter; she understands the connection of a mother to a child. Nina says, there’s no relationship where Julian is concerned. Nelle says, Wiley is a baby, and loves him, but Nina asks, what about the tension? Nelle says, there won’t be any. All that matters is Wiley will be with her and not Michael. Marriages like this happen all the time. Nina says she had a quickie marriage with one guy to spite another. Her husband was in cahoots with her mother, and they gaslighted Nina, and put her in an institution to steal her money. She doesn’t want any of that happen to Nelle. Nelle says, Julian would never do that, and Nina asks how she knows. Nelle says, if he did, it would seriously backfire, and Nina asks, what does that mean?

Sonny asks Jason how Mike seems, and Jason says, he’s sleeping. Elizabeth says, Mike’s caregivers said he might sleep fifteen or sixteen hours a day. Sonny goes into Mike’s room, and Jason asks Elizabeth, what’s really going on with Mike? Sonny tells Mike, it’s him. How about those Yankees? After he left, they won. Maybe Mike could bring some of that luck to Michael for his custody hearing today. Does Mike remember? A long time ago, they thought Michael’s son was dead, and when Mike met Wiley, Mike insisted he was Michael’s son. They thought he was confused, but it turns out he was right. Wiley is Michael’s son. Mike’s got to stick around. Does he want to do that? Sonny gets closer to Mike, but Mike only sort of looks at him.

Sonny tells Mike that Michael is fighting hard to bring Mike’s great-grandson home so he can share his life with him. The way Sonny couldn’t share his life with Mike. Sonny tears up, and says, when he brought Mike home from Brooklyn to Port Charles, he thought they would have a lot more time to spend to make up for the lost years. Come on. Doesn’t Mike want that?

Elizabeth tells Jason, she’s had experience with people like Mike; sleeping a lot, refusing to eat. Mike is done fighting, and wants to let go. She thinks he’s just holding on for Sonny’s sake.

Nina tells Nelle, she knows Julian presents himself as a changed man, but he was involved in organized crime. He’s a dangerous man. He’s only in it for himself. Nelle says Julian values his life too much not to play by her rules. Nina asks how Nelle got him to agree, and Nelle tells Nina, she’ll just say that Julian knows the marriage is best for everyone, especially Wiley.

Carly tells Martin, the difference between the couples is, Michael and Willow want a safe and happy environment for Wiley. Nelle just wants to use him, and kids sense these things. Diane says, Carly is right. Michael and Willow will give Wiley a stable, loving home. Everyone knows that, and so does he. Save the theatrics for the court before he runs out of hot air. He says their time is running tragically short; can he get an order to go? Carly says, why order when he can just go? and he asks if he can quote her in an online review. She says he wouldn’t be the first. Diane says, if he thinks Julian is a surprise witness for her, there are questions she’s been waiting to ask Julian under oath for years. For instance, does he love this wife as much as his previous one? Is Martin aware that Julian held a knife to his wife’s throat, and threatened to kill her because he loved her. If he does that to a wife he loves, imagine what he’ll do to one he’d rather not have.

Nikolas hits the bag at the boxing gym. Franco comes in, and Nikolas says, funny, running into him there. Franco asks if Nikolas doesn’t think it’s important for him to be strong, and Nikolas says, it’s not that. He just saw Elizabeth at Turning Woods. Franco asks how soon Elizabeth is going to forgive Nikolas, and Nikolas says, they’re getting there. That’s not a problem, is it?

Elizabeth tells Jason, everything Sonny wants to do to keep Mike alive, like the feeding tube, will only prolong the inevitable. In her experience, it will also make Mike miserable. She’s sorry to tell him that, and Jason says that’s why he asked her. He knew he’d get a straight answer. She says, if Sonny wants to spare Mike any more pain, and ease his passing, he needs to give his father permission to go.

Sonny tells Mike, he doesn’t know what Mike wants him to do; what Mike wants him to say to the doctors. He tells Mike, keep sleeping, and he’ll come by tomorrow, and ask him again. He kisses Mike’s forehead. Mike moves his hand, but Sonny is already going out the door. Sonny tells Elizabeth, Mike seems more tired than usual, and fell asleep. Elizabeth says she has to get to work. She’ll come back later to check on him. Sonny thanks her for being nice and being there for Mike, and she says, of course (🍷). She leaves, and Sonny asks Jason what he missed.

Franco asks Nikolas why he would have a problem with Elizabeth forgiving him. She’s a very forgiving person, and he has no problem. Nikolas says, as long as he’s sure, and Franco asks why he wouldn’t be. Nikolas says, some men don’t like their wives having male friends, and Franco says his wife can be friends with whoever she chooses. He trusts her completely because they have a solid marriage. Nikolas says, of course (🍷) they do, and Franco asks what that means. Nikolas says, it means Franco and Elizabeth have a solid marriage. Franco says, it’s nothing like Nikolas and… never mind. Nikolas says, what? and Franco says, like Nikolas and Ava. Nikolas laughs, and Franco says, the only not funny thing about them is the post-nup. Nikolas asks how Franco knows about that, and Franco says Ava is a dear friend, like Nikolas is with Elizabeth. Ava’s been through a lot. Nikolas says Ava has told him some things, but she still has difficulty opening up to him. That’s why he’s grateful she has Franco to lean on. He actually enjoys listening to Ava, but she doesn’t enjoy talking with him, and Franco can get her to open up.

Nina says, Nelle is blackmailing Julian, and Nelle says, they made a deal; that’s all. She had to resort to desperate measures to ensure being a mother to her son. Nina understands, doesn’t she? What they have to do as mothers to keep their children safe? Nina’s daughter is hers, and Wiley is Nelle’s, and no one should be able to take them away.

Diane wonders who the judge will go for. Michael and the woman who went to jail for protecting her child, or an alleged mobster, and a woman who tried to murder two fiancés because they didn’t leave enough money on her dresser. Marin says, those comments are beneath her, and Diane says, sometimes, yes, but she’s talking about a gold-digger who married an alleged mobster. Martin says, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Carly reminded him just this morning about who her husband is.

Sonny puts earbuds on Mike, and tells him to listen to the music. He tells Jason, maybe Mike’s memory will come back. Jason says he’s sorry, and Sonny says Jason doesn’t seem surprised. What did Elizabeth say to him?

Nikolas says he can’t tell Franco how much he’s looking forward to the unveiling, and Franco asks if he’s not going to try burning it down like Ava did Helena’s portrait. Nikolas says he’s sure his princess bride and Franco created something beautiful. Franco says Nikolas sounds confident for someone who hasn’t seen the portrait, and wasn’t a fan of his previous work. Nikolas says, it’s a new Franco, a new Ava, and a new day. He’s sure it will be a painting for the ages, and a party to match. He playfully punches Franco.

Carly says it’s Martin’s funeral, and he says, is that so? How does she mean that? She says figuratively, of course (🍷). How else would she mean it? He says, literally, and Diane says, it’s your funeral is literally a figure of speech. Attend to his newlyweds, and she’ll attend to hers. They’re due back in court. He says, and none of them got lunch; a pity. He hopes it  doesn’t make anyone cranky. He’ll see them in court. He leaves, and Carly tells Diane, she knows what Diane is going to say. Diane says, repeat after her. I must not issue death threats to opposing counsel. Trust her on this, and let her do the talking.

Michael pops back in, and Carly asks if he’s ready. He says, absolutely. He and Willow leave, and Carly sighs, turns around, and follows him out.

Nelle tells Nina, she has to go. They’re about to reconvene, and she’s so excited. Are they good? Nina is really her only friend, and she’d wanted to count on Nina this afternoon. Nina says she can do this for Wiley, and Nelle hugs her. Methinks Nina is going to do something for Wiley other than what Nelle thinks.

Franco goes to the hospital with the flowers, and tells Elizabeth, what he said was stupid. He’s sorry; forgive him. She says, there’s nothing to forgive. She told him, Nikolas helped her get over her insecurities about her art. He says he ran into Nikolas at the gym, and he seemed confident that he would be Elizabeth’s friend again. She says, he’s so lonely for friendship, and Franco asks how she’d categorize her relationship with Nikolas. She leaves to get water for the flowers.

Sonny tells Jason, music is good for cognitive function. The last time Mike was himself was when Brook gave him a concert at Turning Woods. He thinks it jolted Mike’s memories. Jason says, it was a while ago, and Sonny asks again what Elizabeth said to Jason. She’s a fantastic nurse, and Sonny respects her opinion. What did she say? Jason tells him, she said, when Alzheimer’s patients get to the place where Mike is – sleeping more than awake, not responding, and unable to eat – she said that usually means that they’re ready to go. She thinks Mike is just waiting for Sonny to give him permission.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth tells Franco that her feelings for Nikolas are complicated, like his for Ava; Ava asks Nikolas to choose his son or his fortune; and Julian tells Nelle, it’s not an option.

Vanderpump Rules

Dayna asks Brett how yesterday was, and he says, awesome. He felt weird leaving the dinner, and admits he’s interested in her, but that’s different than having feelings. In Dayna’s interview, she says she feels sh*tty about how Brett was screaming that he didn’t have feelings for her, but she knew he felt under attack and it didn’t come out right. She tells him what Scheana said seemed calculated the other night when she was throwing grenades. We flash back to Scheana saying Dayna and Brett shouldn’t have made out multiple times, and Dayna telling her, STFU. Dayna says she didn’t appreciate it, and it’s been back and forth all summer. In Dayna’s interview, she thinks Max loves the fact that his ex, a girl his best friend is interested in, and his best friend are feuding. Scheana asks why Brett is telling people she was trying to hook up with him when they did her video. He says she offered him a BJ, and she says she was joking. In her interview, she says no part of her wants to date him. She just used him as a piece of meat in her video. Dayna says the way Scheana was speaking at dinner made her uncomfortable, and she didn’t like Scheana’s conversation. Max made his bed. Scheana says, he’s hurt. In Dayna’s interview, she says, only a sex addict would say he has feelings for a girl, then screw five other girls, and try to get sympathy by doing her dirty. He’s trying to fill the hole in his heart by filling holes in other women.

Schwartz and Max go to Villa Rosa. In Schwartz’s interview, he says it’s Max’s first time there. Savor this, Max. He tells Max, don’t touch anything; she’ll know. They’re peasants. Schwartz tells Lisa that he’s missed her. Lisa says, the Hollywood Reporter is doing a profile piece on all of their businesses, and in her interview, she says they’ve done photo shoots for SUR, but this time, they’ll be using a couple of people from each restaurant. She tells Schwartz that everyone wants a big group shot, and they’ll have a drink afterward. She asks about James DJ’ing, and Schwartz says he has nothing but good things to say about James, who also had a moment at the pool party.

Ariana and Tom go to a spa, where Ariana is getting a beauty sculpt, and Tom is getting a facial. Ariana thanks Tom for cleaning the kitchen, and says they had a day and a half to pull off a party. She texted Brittany that she loves her, but not everybody has the same level of patience anymore. Tom says, Jax is an adult, and needs to act like one. In Tom’s interview, he says, it’s not a muscle flex. Jax expects a full investment, but only gives a fraction back. Ariana thinks everyone had fun.

Schwartz tells Lisa, he ended up going to Tom’s when Katie became the scapegoat for them throwing the party. Max says he didn’t go to either party, but he did go to Dayna’s comedy show. He had feelings for her, but she made out with his friend to spite him, and he’s frustrated. Lisa says he doesn’t like the fact that his friend took his chance of being with Dayna away, and Max says, maybe. Lisa tells them to promise there won’t be any sh*t aired in front of anyone. Schwartz wants to pinky swear instead of shaking hands, since it’s been a childish week.

Ariana tells Tom about Scheana texting Kristen about Stassi making fun of her house. Tom says, she was probably just making a joke, but Ariana says she doesn’t think it’s funny. STFU about how she’s living. Any time anyone has been over, they’ve been fed and had wine, and Stassi is acting like it’s cute to be mean. Ariana gets suction cupped on her thighs, and Tom gets some on his face. In Tom’s interview, he says there’s always new and innovative beauty technology to keep yourself looking young, and he likes to take advantage of that. He might as well stay looking as young as possible for as long as possible.

Stassi visits Lala, who’s making macaroons. She tells Stassi that she’s trying to be a housewife. In her interview, Lala says she loves her space, and has had no need to reside with a man. We see a clip where she tells Randall that keeping his toothbrush on the sink is not happening. She continues, saying, he is her fiancé. She should probably be living with her future husband. Brittany and Katie arrive, and in Katie’s interview, she says she and Brittany have never not spoken or had tension; it feels weird. They sit outside with some food, and Katie says, yesterday wasn’t normal. Kristen was sitting with Carter, and kept giving her dirty looks, and then texting her crazy sh*t like, go thrive and talk sh*t. In Stassi’s interview, she says Kristen does this when she’s bored. She makes sh*t up to get attention. Who uses the word thrive? Brittany says she’d told Kristen that she couldn’t bring Carter to their party, and Lala asks if they’re all good. Katie says they’re okay, but Brittany says, it’s so petty and got blown up. Katie says she was getting blamed for it. If Brittany wants to go there, when Katie rage texts, it’s not unfounded. She tells Brittany that she likes them, and Brittany suggests she try to get understanding. Katie says she’s done that. In Katie’s interview, she says, because she’s rage texted in the past, she should have no feelings now. We flash back to several times when Schwartz was on the receiving end of Katie’s texts. In her interview, she says she’s paid for what she’s done, and Jax needs to do his time. Brittany says, Jax messed up, but Tom is being petty. Katie tells her that Tom just said they have a pool, and if Jax was going to disinvite people, they could come to his house. There’s only one person to blame. Brittany says, Jax is struggling. He messed up on top of it, and he’s trying to fix it. He’s her husband, so they need to have respect for that.

James’s mom Jacqueline pays him a visit. In James’s interview, he says his relationship with his mom has been rocky for the past few years. We flash back to that, and he says she’s struggled with sobriety, but she’s been sober for six months, and still going strong. She tells him, it’s bad luck to cheers with water, and he wonders if he’ll never cheers again. She says he looks great, and he says, it’s been 45 days today. She says she should get the all clear on Friday. If she hadn’t gotten sober, she wouldn’t have gotten a job and had health insurance, which led to her getting a mammogram that detected cancer. Everything happened so fast, but it’s done. She had a double-mastectomy, and she’s really lucky that she’s not even sick. James cries, and says, it’s hard to talk about this. Jacqueline says she could tell he was holding it in at the hospital. In his interview, he says, finding out was the worst thing. His mother has had health issues before, and would deal with it by drinking. It’s the beginning of an amazing new era in their relationship. Jacqueline tells him that he doesn’t ever have to drink again, and he can have an amazing life. He says he couldn’t picture himself in that position, but Raquel saved him. In his interview, James says he owes everything to Raquel. He thought it was ridiculous when she asked him to stop drinking. He would never have found the person he is. It’s like he met someone new. He tells Jacqueline about Lisa asking him to DJ at SUR, and says maybe he’ll get his Tuesday nights back someday. She says he’s not letting up until that happens, and he says, why not?

In Beau’s interview, he says he wants a home by the time he and Stassi get married. Stassi will have to come up with the down payment, since he’s still living in the same rent controlled apartment he’s been in for years. He has a great job, but he can’t put 25% down on a house. He and Stassi look at a house, and Beau says, it has soul. Stassi loves the grounds, and the broker says it’s in a good school district, which they’ll pay a premium for. It’s going for $2 million. In his interview, Beau says he has some in savings, but not that much yet. Stassi wants a home with character, but Beau doesn’t think they should buy the first thing they looked at. She tells him that they have the party at TomTom later, and that Lisa is doing a photoshoot with a couple of different people from each restaurant. Beau says, that’s going to be at least forty people. Stassi says she used to do them for SUR. She’s glad she did it back then, since she was so hot. She was almost naked, but Jax was stuffing his pants with socks, and during the time Kristen had sex with Jax, he had to pose with Tom. She tells Beau that Jax and Brittany said they didn’t want to go to the TomTom event, but Beau says he bets they’ll show up.

Puffy! Lisa and Ken look at the new space along with Nick Alain and Schwartz. Nick shows them a mockup of the space, and it’s gorgeous. Schwartz says he’s amped about Nick’s vision. Tom runs in, apologizing for being late, and Lisa says, nice of him to show up. She says they have to make a decision; it’s crunch time. Are they going to keep it separate, or knock a hole in the wall? She’d be happy if they’re in, since she loves them, even if they’re a pain in her ass. We flash back to that, and she says, if they’re not in, she’s okay with that too. In his interview, Tom says, it’s tempting to use the money toward something else; it’s tough. He tells Lisa that he wishes she’d brought the checks… so they could rip them up, since it’s a definite yes. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, of course he’s all in. In Tom’s  interview, he says, of course he thought about what he could do with the money, but he’s definitely investing. Schwartz says he’s never felt better about shoving all the chips in the middle of the table. Lisa says, knock down that wall.

At TomTom, photographer Chris tells Lisa to be ready in thirty minutes. Puffy! Everyone trickles in. Brittany says she’s glad they’re all there. Karrah from Vegas has joined them, and Max says, it’s unbelievable. He’s rattled right now. We flash back to Lisa discovering he hooked up with Karrah in Vegas. He says, Lisa told him that she’d invited Karrah, but she loves playing jokes and making people stress out for fun. She was not lying. In Scheana’s interview, she says Karrah looks so much like her, down to her nose scrunch. She’s Scheana circa 2012. (It is really weird.) Lala wears her Vanderpump Dogs tank, and says she always has to give them Lala. Lisa says she’d better. Max tells Schwartz that they had a great first year, and they’re still doing great. Schwartz says he almost cried when they met with Lisa earlier.

The photographer starts to pose people. Lala says it’s the one-year anniversary, and asks Jax if he’s coming. Jax says he might stop by for an hour. He’s good with Schwartz, but they have nothing to talk about. So good – you stay there and I’ll stay here. Brittany says, there’s no point in fighting about anything anymore. Lala says she and James finished their song, and she really wants them to hear it. At least think about it. Ariana asks if she can talk to Jax, and Brittany leaves to get a drink. Jax asks how the party was, and Ariana says it was fun and chaotic. He says he wasn’t as upset as Brittany was; she took it to heart. Ariana says she hates that Brittany was put in that position, and Jax says Tom did the same thing to Stassi with the texts, but Ariana says, Tom atoned for that. Jax says, Tom likes to put his nose in other people’s business. He doesn’t know why Tom shared the texts, and Ariana suggests he take the high road. Jax says he’s a human being. He f***ed up, and he will again. In Ariana’s interview, she says, these aren’t mistakes. They point to a choice pattern; a personality. It’s who this person is. Ariana says she’s not going to argue; Tom is her boyfriend. She tells Jax not to go around saying she’s miserable, and he says if people ask him questions, he’s going to answer. She says he’s been saying things about her all summer. He says he has no clue what she’s talking about, and she tells him stop talking about her, her house, and what he thinks goes on there. Just don’t talk. She tells him, goodbye, and walks away.

The girls fix their outfits, and in Dayna’s interview, she says when she started at SUR, they made fun of her not wearing a bra. Now, they’re joking about their sweaty asses together. It’s pretty full circle. Max tells Brett that he’s sorry he disappeared, and wants to explain where he’s coming from. He feels betrayed, and maybe he’s been too lax telling Brett about how he felt about Dayna. Brett says he didn’t know Max would react that way, since he’s four girls past Dayna. Max says, it’s an open wound. He’s vulnerable, and it felt weird. He thought Dayna was being conniving and spiteful, and dating Brett to get to him. Brett says Max needs to have a conversation with her. The only people who aren’t straight are him and Dayna.

Brittany says she sees Dayna wore a bra. The photographer prepares to take a group shot, and Tom says, it’s like a selfie, so everyone cram in tight. Lisa says they’re all so beautiful. She doesn’t know how she got so lucky. She tells Jax he should be wearing his uniform, and he insists he doesn’t have one. In his interview, he says he’ll wear what he wants when he wants. He doesn’t like to be put on the same level as the others. Brittany tells him that he should have at least worn a black shirt. In Tom’s interview, he says, they’ve always worn a black button-down. Lisa tosses him a shirt, and it lands on Danica’s head. In his interview, Tom says, it’s classic Jax, doing what he wants. Jax puts the shirt on, but looks pissed in the picture. Ariana says, that’s a wrap. The other Max (Lisa’s son) says Jax got all riled up, and Jax admits he’s mad. Brittany tells him, don’t start, and he says, don’t antagonize him. In her interview, she says, when Jax is in a sassy mood, he’s short and snippy with her.

Lisa asks Jax, what’s wrong? and he says, same old. She says, it’s not the same old, and he says he had a bad day; a bad couple of weeks. He gets angry. She asks, what about? and he says he goes off on people sometimes, and gets out of control. It’s been the biggest year of his life. She asks why he’s not happy, and he says he asks himself that question every day. On paper, he has a wife and a house, and he’s healthy. She wonders what’s going on in his brain, and he says, when you injure your leg, you put an ACE bandage on it. She says he hasn’t injured his brain. Take care of his wife. He says his marriage is great, but she says, it’s not great. He’s got a habit of being self-destructive, and needs attention. Four weeks ago, it was all about Jax. Now that he’s married, that’s different. He insists it has nothing to do with his marriage, and she says, it will. He says, that’s why he’s trying to fix it.

Getting ready for the TomTom party, Schwartz says he can’t believe it’s been a year. It’s surreal that he’s contributed to that with Tom. James sets up the DJ booth with Max helping. Randall arrives, and says he missed them. Ariana tells Katie that Kristen is going to be there, and she thinks Kristen is bringing Carter, since they’re dating exclusively. Katie says, Kristen finally made a decision. Max tells Karrah that he was thrown off by her showing up. He didn’t know she would be there. Katie tells Stassi that Kristen made it exclusive with Carter. In Stassi’s interview, she says they were called bad friends because they weren’t there through Kristen’s break-up, but the break-up was bullsh*t; they were never separated. Kate says Kristen chose an a-hole, but she’s glad Kristen made a decision. Kristen walks past them without saying anything, and in Kristen’s interview, she says she knows what to expect from Katie and Stassi, but she’s not afraid of them anymore. In Lala’s interview, she says she’s nervous. James wasn’t just bad to Randall – we flash back to that – he was horrible.

Ariana sits with Stassi, and they talk about taping up their boobs. Ariana says she feels weird bringing this up, but Scheana was texting Kristen during the pool party, and said Stassi was making fun of her house. Stassi gets Scheana’s attention, and tells her, get her ass over there now. Stassi says Scheana claimed she was talking sh*t about Ariana and Tom’s house. Scheana tells her that at dinner the other night, Stassi said she was a grown-ass woman, and not going to someone’s house who has no furniture. We flash back, and it’s actually Lala who said that. Stassi says she doesn’t even talk like that, and there were a lot of people there. Ariana says she sees a scenario where they’re making fun of her house, and Stassi says she’s annoyed, because she knows for a fact she didn’t say that. In Ariana’s interview, she says she’s choosing to believe Stassi, since she’s not the type of person who denies what she said. When all is said and done, they’ll have the most beautiful furniture. If anyone makes fun of it, they don’t get to sit on it.

Karrah, who’s been watching the conversation, sits near Stassi, who says, not now. Karrah asks if everything is okay, and Stassi says, it’s not actually. In Danica’s interview, she says, Karrah is obviously drunk, and trying to insert herself in a conversation she’s not a part of. Karrah says Stassi is being negative, and Danica approaches Karrah, saying she’s been watching Karrah trying to insert herself where she doesn’t belong. In her interview, Danica says Karrah is talking crazy sh*t, and she’s trying to tell her to get out of the conversation. She asks Karrah, what’s wrong with her? Kristen tells Karrah, move along, and Karrah says she can be anywhere she wants. In Kristen’s interview, she says she’s been down this road before. You do not fight in Lisa’s restaurants or in front of Lisa. Danica tells Karrah that she said to get out of the conversation. She doesn’t know them, and she’s acting like a psychopath. Karrah says Danica has nothing to stand on, and Lisa tells Danica to calm down. In Lisa’s interview, she wonders why Danica is acting like she’s five. She’s an assistant manager. Lala says when Danica pushed Karrah, Karrah’s wine spilled on her. In her interview, Lisa says, when someone is lying – she gestures as if dusting off her hands – sorry. She tells Danica, it’s time to go home. In Max’s interview, he says, Danica is finally 86’d from TomTom. It’s about effing time.

James raps to his own tune. In his interview, he says he’s back. More respectful and less loud, but he’s back. Lala joins in on their son, and James says he’s excited for people to hear it. People who don’t want to forget what he was like can s*ck his d*ck. Scheana dances on the bar. James says it’s good to see Randall, and he’s so sorry about all the bullsh*t that he ever said. In his interview, James says he was 100% wrong to judge Randall the way he did. Randall loves Lala more than anything, and they’re perfect together. He was the last to see he was being a smartass, and if Randall wanted to pull him aside and say he was an a-hole and immature, it would have been right. But he said amazing things about James, and it shows what a real man is. He says Randall will never hear anything like that from him again, and Randall hopes James is being honest. He didn’t think that’s who James was. James says he was being an alcoholic, and Randall says Lala has a lot of love for James, and he’s a big part of her life. He wants to invite James  to the wedding; it would be awesome, and a lot of fun. James says he would love that, and they bro hug. Raquel asks James how it’s going, and she says, good. She’s so attracted to him, it’s insane. He kisses her.

Dayna tells Stassi that Brett slept with five people in the five weeks since they stopped seeing one another. Stassi says, Max is being a psycho; she did nothing wrong. Tom says he’s so happy, and glad Ariana, Schwartz, and Katie are there to share it. They have a four-way glasses clink, and Katie says the two Toms need to kiss in front of their picture. Schwartz says he doesn’t want to kiss Tom anymore, but checks his breath. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, kissing Tom is smoky, and Coors lighty, but still pleasurable. He tells Tom that his lips are softer than they used to be, and Ariana says it’s the Chapstick she gave him.

Max tells Dayna that he made himself vulnerable, and then she pressed a button that made him feel some type of way. He doesn’t want to hang out or talk to her. She says there were four people out of the photo who he slept with. Brett told her that he had sex with five people since they stopped dating, and he’s mad because she was kissing Brett. Who cares? He says she kissed Brett because she’s spiteful, and she says, it just happened. He says he loves that for her, but she says he’s trying to make her the bad guy. He tells her that she’s on her high horse, and she says he’s on the highest horse there is. All the time they hung out, he says he didn’t care who she went out with. He says he’s turned off, and she says, the feeling is mutual. She’s done with it, and him putting out negativity about her. In her interview, she says, Max is playing the sympathy card with a small violin. No one else can play with his toys, even if he doesn’t want to. He says she can’t hurt him because he’s over her; it’s the way she carries herself. She says she likes the way she carries herself, and at least she’s not screwing everyone to validate herself. He says don’t forget he hired her. She wouldn’t be there if not for him. Stay in her lane. She says she is in her lane, and he runs away walks off.

Lisa takes the mic, and says, it’s been a year. Have a drink, and celebrate. They’ve decided they’re expanding. She loves them all, and it’s been some incredible journey. This year, some of them became grown-ups, and some, not so much, but there’s always an opportunity to get better. She truly believes that. Cheers to a new beginning, cheers to the future, and thank you. Brittany tells Jax, she’s kind of buzzed, and kisses him. Jax tells Tom, congratulations. In Brittany’s interview, she says it’s super easy for her to forgive and forget; sometimes too easy, but Tom has more to prove to Jax than to her. Jax tells Tom that he’s at the end of his rope, and Tom says he’s at his wit’s end with Jax. Jax says it’s more like a relationship than a friendship.

Kristen tells Stassi and Katie that she’s been sad all summer. She doesn’t understand it. She thought she was done with Carter. Katie says she thought they were still together. Stassi says, the friendship hasn’t been the same for a long time. Katie says, Kristen wanted to hear what she wanted to hear, and when she didn’t, she got mad. That’s not love. At the bar, Tom says Jax was spiteful. He wasn’t invited to the bachelor party or the wedding. He wasn’t allowed a single disagreement in the eight months leading up to the wedding. Jax says, it was his wedding. I have actually never heard of a guy acting like a Bridezilla before. It’s mind-boggling. In Jax’s interview, he says being the groom’s bitch is part of being best man. He tells Tom that he was crying in Home Depot while he was buying flowers, and Tom says, that doesn’t give him a hall pass.

Stassi tells Kristen, she cries that she doesn’t know what she’s done, and goes to everyone. Then everyone says the same thing. Kristen asks what she’s done to deserve this, and Katie says, it’s always about Kristen. Tom tells Jax, it’s a constant one-up. Why can’t Jax be happy for him? Stassi says, the Witches of WeHo is done-zo. Her brain is going to explode. In her interview, Stassi says, it’s hard saying goodbye. When she first came there, she was the new girl, and Kristen was the cool older one. Kristen knew all the tricks at SUR, and taught Stassi how to steal wine. Kristen introduced her to this group of friends, and Beau. Then she didn’t know if Kristen would be standing up with her at her wedding, or even be there. Jax tells Tom, he doesn’t know what to do, and Tom says Jax will do the same sh*t he’s done for twenty years. In Tom’s interview, he says Jax has been his friend for a long time, but he doesn’t know if he has space for Jax’s negativity anymore. He’s wasting his love and energy on the wrong person. Jax asks what they should do at this point, and Tom says he’s establishing boundaries. He’s not doing this anymore. Jax asks if they should take a break or a little time out, and Tom says, sure. Stassi and Katie go inside, leaving Kristen to follow by herself. Jax tells Brittany that he’s done with things with Tom, who wandered off. In Lisa’s interview, she says she doesn’t know where to start. Years of friendship she thought would last forever, and everything turned upside down. She doesn’t know where they’ll go from here. Jax will realize one day that these were his lifelong friends. We flash back to all of them over the years.

Lisa tells Jax that he shouldn’t make himself more special than he is. They’re all human, fall in love, f*** up, and they’ve all lost parents. It’s not a tragedy; it’s what life is about. He’s got every chance in life to pull it together, and see how lucky he is. End of effing story. Everyone leaves the party.

Next time, the reunion.

If Loving You Is Wrong

After Eddie shows Natalie the video of Kelly happy kissing Lushion, Natalie tells Eddie, get out. He says, nice place. A little Afrocentric for his taste, but nice. He leaves, and Natalie calls Lushion, leaving a message for him to call. She immediately calls again, and says, call her now.

Alex finishes with Randal, and gets a drink. He says he hates her, and she says she knows. He asks why she turned up, and she says because she can. And she wanted to show him something. He says, that she knows how to swallow? and she says, yeah, her pride. And that she knows how to be submissive, but most of all, she needed to let him know how stupid he actually is. Just like most men. He thinks he’s so smart. He thought she was the poor little housewife next door. He says that’s exactly what she is, and she says he’s so wrong. He suggests she tell him what she is, and she says, he thought he was a big bad snake and she was a poor little mouse. It’s more like he’s the tiny mouse and she’s the snake. She laughs, and says he doesn’t get the fact she played him since day one. He says, do not, and she says she knew he wanted her, and she was in control because men are so stupid. He did everything she wanted him to do, when she wanted him to do it. She did this just now. He’s welcome. He says she’s so very naïve thinking that. Get the hell out. She says gladly, and digs in his back pocket for his wallet. He tells her again to get out, and she leaves.

He follows her out, and says, on second thought, he had her pegged from the first moment. He knew she was easy, weak, and vulnerable, and he knew. She asks what did he know? and he says he knew she wasn’t in love with Brad, and he went after her. She laughs, and says he can’t stand it, can he? He says she can’t stand that he’s right, and she says, which proves her point. Everything he says is true, which proves she went after him. He’s really not that smart. Eddie parks in front of them, and Randal asks what the hell he’s doing there. Eddie tells Alex, hi, whore, and she says, hi, bigger whore. He says he’ll take that as a compliment. He sees they’re back at it, and Alex says, they are. They just had great sex. Eddie tells Alex to get her ass back in her house, and she tells him to get his ass back in his house. Oh, wait. He doesn’t have a house. Randal asks why Eddie is there, and Eddie says Randal called the police. Randal says he called the real police, and Eddie says, the real police are there, d*ckhead. Randal said someone assaulted him. Randal says, go to hell, and Eddie says he can take Randal down to the station for making a false claim. Randal says he didn’t, and Eddie asks who assaulted him? Randal says, Natalie, and Eddie says, what is wrong with you people? All you ever think about is violence and killing. Randal says, someone should kill Eddie’s ass, and Eddie says, everyone tried and failed. Does he want to press charges or take a ride? Randal says, kiss his ass, and Eddie says he’s the law. Come with him or take a walk. Randal goes to his door, and Eddie says, best decision he’s ever made. He asks what Alex is still doing there, and she says she’s waiting for her ride. Unless he wants to give her a ride. He says he wouldn’t spit on her ass if it was on fire. He asks what she’s doing; what’s with this whole get-up? She says she’s going back to her roots, and he says it’s quite the hombre look she’s got going on. Go in her house. She says she doesn’t live there anymore. She left Brad and the kids. They can take care of themselves. Eddie wonders what’s going on, and heads toward Brad’s house. Alex jumps in the squad car, and takes off.

Eddie radios dispatch, and tells them to look out for his patrol car. The dispatcher says they can put a trace on it, and he says, then do it. She says, say please, please, and he says, please. Everyone laughs, and he says when he gets back, he’s going to put his foot in every one of their dispatch asses. Find his car. She asks how he lost it, and he says it was stolen by three Black suspects. One looked like Tyler Perry. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! They were wearing jeans and those oversized T-shirts they like. Alex gets on the radio, and says, that’s a bunch of sh*t. He tells her to get her ass off the radio, and she says he really said that about black people; he’s such a liar. The dispatcher wonders who she is, and Alex says she’s the Black male who stole the car. And she didn’t steal it; it’s not even 50 feet away. He’s not looking. Eddie says, she’s lying, and the dispatcher tells Alex, stay there. The police are on their way. Alex says, not a chance, and the dispatcher asks if Eddie wants to make a report. He says, write the damn report, adding, she must be Black. She calls him a racist SOB, and he says he’s coming back to the station.

Eddie walks into Brad’s house, and Brad asks if he ever knocks. Eddie says, not really, and he asks what Marcie is doing there. Brad says, she’s cooking, and Eddie says it’s one crazy-ass merry-go-round they’ve got going on there. Brad suggests Eddie get off of it. Eddie says he is, but he’s trying to figure out what happened. Brad says, it’s a long story, and Eddie says he’s got all day. Brad says, Alex left him with the kids, but Eddie doesn’t believe it. He says, Brad isn’t thinking of keeping that bastard, and Brad tells him, stay away from the baby, and don’t call him that. Eddie says he’s not Brad’s, but Brad asks why that matters. Eddie says, it’s not Brad’s problem. Who cares? Take the baby to the hospital and pass him off. Let someone else take care of him. Brad says Eddie will never change, and Eddie suggests dropping the baby off at a shelter. Brad says, enough, and Eddie says, it would be a good time to take the baby to the border. Brad tells him, get out, and Eddie says everyone is always throwing him out. Brad says he’s always acting like this. Eddie says, if Alex is gone, can he have a room? Brad says, his kids sleep there, and Eddie says he’ll just go up and look around. He goes upstairs, and Marcie asks why Brad puts up with him. Brad says he doesn’t like it, and doesn’t like Eddie at all. Eddie comes back down, and says, it will do. Brad says Eddie’s not staying there; get an apartment. Eddie says, why, when he’s got this place? Brad says, no way, and Eddie says he’ll help with the finances; a couple hundred a month. Brad asks what Eddie does with his money, and Eddie says, the ABCs; asses, bitches, and cocaine, not necessarily in that order. He has to grab some things, but he’ll be back. They’ll see how it works out, and go from there. He looks at Marcie, and says she’s filling out the A in his alphabet.

Steven goes to Esperanza’s house, and looks around. She says, Eddie’s not there, but he says they don’t know that. She says she would smell him, but he says he’s still going to look. She says she can’t believe Alex is staying at a bar with a guy she barely knows. She’s got to call Natalie; Marcie won’t help. Steven says he knows Alex is her friend, but she seemed… Esperanza says, drunk? and he says, determined to do whatever she wanted. She says, Alex would never give up on her kids like that, but he says Alex isn’t her, and you never know what circumstances drive people. She asks how he got so understanding, and he says he thinks he’s a decent guy. She says he’s a douche. He dresses nice, but he’s a douche. He asks what she thinks of Eddie, and she says, he’s not a douche. He’s a douchebag, a tool, and a crazy person who belongs in an asylum. She thanks Steven for being a douche, and he says, you’re welcome? She thanks him for being a somewhat decent person; for just being him. What if she wanted to look into making this more? He says, why? She’s got all the say. She told him in the beginning that she was in control, and would say when he comes and goes. Is she going to tell him what to say too? Does she want him to move in? She says she didn’t say that. Stay a couple hours, and she’ll introduce him to her daughter. He says, it must be semi-serious, and she asks if he’d like to meet her daughter. He says he’d love to, and she says it’s a big deal for her. Eddie is the only man her daughter knows in her life. He says he’d love to take the time to know about Esperanza, and she says she agrees. He asks if she wants to do it, and says she always has to play hard to get. He kisses her, but she says she doesn’t have time. Stop it.

Larry calls Ian into his office. He asks if Ian has a newer version of his phone, and asks Ian to show him how to get email notifications. Ian shows him, and Larry tells him to sit and relax. He keeps messing with Ian’s phone, and talking about what a great case it’s in. Ian says he can get Larry one, but Larry says, that’s okay. Ian reaches for his phone, but Larry won’t let him take it. Larry says when that hot shot public defender Carl came in, he was so good, he offered Carl a job. Ian doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and Larry asks, why? Ian says he’s green, and Larry says he did tell Ian that Carl just got lucky. Ian asks if he can have his phone back; he doesn’t want to miss a call. Larry looks at the phone, and says he already missed two. They’re calling again now; take it there. Ian says he’s not taking his call in Larry’s office, but Larry answers. It’s Carl, and Ian says he’ll call back, and hits the disconnect button. Larry says Ian will have plenty of time, and Ian grabs his phone back. Larry says, tell him about it, but Ian says, there’s nothing to tell. He’s trying to protect the firm. Larry says Ian doesn’t have to worry about the firm anymore; he’s fired. Ian asks what Larry is talking about, and Larry asks if he stuttered. Ian says he’ll bury Larry, and Larry says he’d like to see Ian try. Ian says he’ll clean up his office, but Larry says, it was already done while Ian was there. Ian says, it’s going be a pleasure not to work for him.

Peter and Paisley come home, and Peter asks what Marcie is doing there. Brad says, cooking dinner, and he asks, where’s mom? Brad says that’s what he needs to talk to them about. Paisley asks what’s going on, and Brad asks them to sit. He says he and their mom have gotten a divorce, and Paisley says she told them. Brad says what she didn’t tell them was that she needed a vacation. She wanted to go away for a few days, and she might be back tomorrow or the next day, but she’ll be back. Pater asks where she went, and Brad says, she went away with friends. Peter asks if she’s okay, and Brad says, she’s fine. Peter asks if he’s sure, and Brad asks, why? Paisley says she was upset about the divorce; she was really sad. Brad says, the good thing is, he’ll take care of them until she comes back, and Marcie will be there to help out. Peter asks if they’re dating? Brad says, what? and Peter says, it’s a simple question. Brad tells them that he and Marcie are dating, and Paisley says they’re not kids anymore; they know what’s going on, and can understand too. Brad apologizes for keeping them in the dark, and Peter says they just want him and mom to be happy. Brad says they’ll talk over dinner. The kids tell him that they love him, and he says he loves them too. They go upstairs, and Marcie says he and Alex did something right. Brad says he can’t believe how well that went, and she hugs him.

Mica comes home, and sees Steven. She asks what he’s doing there, and Esperanza says that’s what she wanted to talk about. Mica says she doesn’t want to talk about it. She hears them having sex, and it’s disgusting. Her dad told him what a horrible person Steven is; he beat his last wife. Esperanza says, that’s not true. Mica says she wants to stay with her dad if Steven is there, and tells Steven, there’s the door. She doesn’t like him or the way he looks at her. Esperanza says Mica has never met him, and Mica says her dad told her that Steven was staring at her while she was in school. Esperanza says, that’s not true, and Steven says, they’ll talk later. Mica tells him, don’t come back. When he’s gone, Esperanza tells Mica, never ever be this rude to her friends again. Mica says, don’t be rude to her dad, and Esperanza says they’re not together anymore. Mica says, because of her; she’s a whore. Esperanza slaps Mica across the face, and says, never talk like that to her. Her father is lying. Mica says, Esperanza is the liar. She made him leave. She runs to her room.

Natalie leaves another message for Lushion, saying she’s called four times, and he needs to call her. The kids come home, and tell her that Justice was in a fight; they talked about his momma. Justice says he beat the fool down, and Natalie tells the others to go to their rooms and do their homework. Justice tells her, the kids won’t leave him alone, and they talk about his momma. She didn’t do anything to them, and he’s going to get a gun. Natalie says he’s not going to do that. He says he doesn’t want to talk to her, and she asks, what’s wrong? She’s sorry. She knows it’s hard, and she’s sorry, but it’s going be all right. He says everyone keeps saying that, but where’s his momma? Natalie calls Lushion again, and asks where he is. She needs to talk to him.

Mica calls Eddie, and says her mom had that guy over, and she told him to leave. He says, good for her. She says she doesn’t want to be there; she wants to stay with him. He says he’s staying with Uncle Brad while his house is being worked on. She says she doesn’t want to stay there; Esperanza slapped her across the face. He asks if her face is red. She says it is, and he tells her to take a picture of her face, and send it to him. Why did her mother hit her? She says she called her mother a whore, and he says, the truth hurts. She says it’s terrible there; she wants to stay with him. He says he knows it’s terrible, and wishes he’d picked a better woman to be her mother. She asks if he can he pick her up. He says he’ll be there later, and she asks if they can go to a hotel. He says, not tonight; he has to work the late shift. She says her mother drives her crazy, and he tells her to keep herself together. Keep speaking her mind; she gets it from daddy. Esperanza knocks on her door, and Mica says her father knows Esperanza is a whore, and wishes he’d done better. He said Mica doesn’t have to speak to her.

Esperanza asks Mica to come out, but Mica says her dad told her that she doesn’t have to talk to Esperanza. Leave her alone. Esperanza says she’s not playing. Come out. Mica says, leave me alone, you whore, and Esperanza tells her, please stop talking like that. Mica asks if Esperanza is going to hit her again, and Esperanza says she’s so sorry, but Mica can’t speak to her that way. Mica says, whore, and Esperanza walks away.

Esperanza calls Eddie, and he says, Mica is damn right to call her a whore, and Esperanza slapped her in the face. She shouldn’t have that boy in the house; he’s not playing. She says he thinks he’s going to get custody, but she’s going to tell the judge everything about how he’s using his own daughter. She wants to give Mica a better life, away from him. He says she’s the one Mica should stay away from. She says, she swears… and he says, bye, bitch. Steven texts her that he’s outside, and she goes out. She sits in his car, and he asks if she’s okay. She says, no, and he says he’s sorry. She says Eddie is using Mica against her, and says terrible things to Mica about her. He says, that’s Eddie. She can’t expect anything else. She says, the worst part is that Mica believes him, and she can’t talk to her. He says she can’t right now, but will when Mica is calm and ready. She has the devil in her ear. She says Mica has the devil as her father, and he says, that too. He hates what Eddie did to her. She says she’ll be all right, and thanks him. He says Mica just wasn’t ready, and she says she’s sorry. He tells her, don’t be. They’ll set her straight. She thanks him again, and he hugs her.

Lushion comes home, and sees Eddie. Eddie asks, what’s going on? and Lushion asks what Eddie is doing in front of his house. Eddie says he had a nice chat with Natalie, and Lushion calls him a son of a bitch. Eddie says he got that right. Lushion has no idea of the damage he’s about to face. She’s mad as hell. Lushion says, okay. Eddie sees Kelly coming home, and says, hey. Kelly tells him, don’t talk to her, and he asks how the fresh air is. She repeats, don’t talk to her, and starts to walk inside. He says, that’s where she killed that man. How does she sleep there? He wants to know. The man’s blood is in there, and she lays her head down peacefully. Lushion tells him, go somewhere, and Eddie says Lushion needs to go somewhere and work on his marriage.

Kelly goes inside, and Lushion follows. He says, it must be good to be home, and she says she’s sorry about that with Eddie. It’s totally her fault. He says, it’s all right, and she asks if he wants her to talk to Natalie. He says, no; he will. It will be better if he does. She says, if he needs her to come by, she will, and she thanks him. She says it’s hard being there. She wants to go in the back. He says he’ll go with her, and she wonders if that’s wise. He says Natalie needs to think about this. Trust him. He’s doing the right thing. He follows her into the back of the house, and I’m intrigued.

Natalie goes out on the porch and sees Eddie, who says, mm-mm-mm. Now she’s trying not to hear what he’s saying. She tells him, go to hell, and he says, they’ve been in there a long time. If he was her, he’d go check on what’s going on. Don’t knock. He can see the wheels spinning. Talking about himself in the third person, he says, Eddie has never lied to her. She strides over to Kelly’s house, and he says, don’t knock. Just put her ear to the door. She starts to knock, but then goes inside. He says, that’s it, and rubs his hands together, saying, he’s so good.

Natalie goes into the house, and walks to the back. She listens at a bedroom door for a moment, and busts in, yelling, you MF’ers!   

Next time, Mica goes missing, Larry ask if there’s anything Eddie cares about, Brad asks if Ian thinks he’s the baby’s father, and Steven threatens to beat Eddie’s ass.

🥱 The Sun Also Rises…

It’s been a roller coaster with my sweet pup, but he’s still hanging in there, and so am I. Stay safe, stay resourceful, and stay on top of your stimulus check.

May 13, 2020 – Sonny Asks What Mike Wants, Blind Defense, VanderNews, Impressing Nema, Free Happy Hour & Upcoming Freedom


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Chase is in the shower, and turns to find Willow. He asks, what about Michael? and she says she couldn’t stay away. It will always be him. They kiss, and he wakes up. Willow wakes at the Quartermaines, sees the rings on the nightstand, and remembers the wedding.

Brook says, dumb question, and asks Michael if he got any sleep. He says he did. His body must have known it had to be rested. She asks, honestly, how is he feeling? and he says, honestly, he feels ready. She says she admires him. He did what he had to do to win custody of Wiley. Now he’s married. They’re not all so lucky. He says it will happen for her, and she says, yeah? When? He says, one day when Leo is hitched, and she’s old and grey. She throws a roll at him, and says she’ll never grow grey. Willow teaches sick children, and gave up her baby to protect him from Shiloh. Not to mention that she’s sweet, kind, and drop dead gorgeous. She’s perfect for him, and a perfect stepmother for Wiley. In the end, that’s all that matters.

Ava brings Avery to see Mike, and Avery shows him her drawings. Mike recognizes himself, and Avery asks how he knew. He points to his bald head.

Olivia says she didn’t expect Carly to be in, and Carly says she didn’t expect to be there. She was sitting at home, climbing the walls, and figured she might as well make herself useful. Olivia asks if she can do anything, and Carly suggests dropping a house on Nelle. Olivia says she’s fresh out of tornados, but she can lend support. Carly asks if she has any words of wisdom on mother-in-law-hood. Olivia sees Lulu walk in with Dustin, and says, bite your tongue, exercise patience, and slap on a smile.

Robert rolls off the couch in his sleep, and wonders where he is. Laura walks in, and asks if she should be offended that he doesn’t remember. She tells him, good morning, sunshine, and he’s like, ugh.

Michael tells Brook, he and Wiley hit the jackpot with Willow. She’s everything they could hope for. Brook says, but… and he says he knows how much it’s costing her. How much she’s given up. She lost the man she loves. Brook says, that’s Chase and Sasha’s fault, not his. He says, Willow has sacrificed a lot, and thought she’d spend the rest of her life with Chase. Brook says, Chase turned out to be a giant tool, but even if he’d walked on water, Willow would still be trading up. Not because he’s loaded – although that’s a plus – but he’s an amazing guy. Speaking as a single woman, he’s smart, funny, loyal, would never cheat, and always puts family first. That’s not as important for all women though; some want stardom. She sees Willow, and says, but Willow has enough sense to appreciate him, right?

Chase scrolls through pictures of him and Willow. Mac calls, and asks if all his bones are broken. Chase says, no, and Mac asks if he stopped on the way to work to pull a cat out of a tree. Chase says, no, and Mac says, why isn’t he there in the squad room? Chase says he’ll be there in ten minutes, and jumps out of bed.

Laura gives Robert some coffee, and he asks where Doc is. She says he’s wrapping up an overnight shift at the psyche ward. Robert says she doesn’t want him in her hair, but she says, that’s all right. They have plenty of time to pick up where they left off. Robert asks where did they leave off? and she says, it’s kind of what you’d expect from two old friends with a lot of history, comradery, and chemistry. He puts his head in his hands, and she laughs. She says he showed up falling down drunk, and she managed to get him to the couch. She gave him a blanket and water, and went to bed. He says she’s a vision of true evilness, and she says she’s been called worse. She’d like him to tell her what brought him to her door in the middle of the night. Or is he going to make her guess?

Carly says she takes it Olivia isn’t a fan of Mr. Phillips. He’s Josslyn’s teacher, so that’s how she thinks of him. Olivia says it’s better than she thinks. Lulu and Dustin approach the bar, and Olivia asks if it’s a breakfast date. Lulu says Dustin gave her a ride to work; he’s meeting Brook there. They want to get a quick look at the ballroom, so they can prepare for the Nurses Ball. Dustin says he’d also like to ask Olivia about her culinary expertise, and Lulu says, Rocco needs cupcakes, and Dustin volunteered to oversee it. Carly asks if he cooks, and he says, not as well as Olivia. Rocco has a new recipe, but they feel it’s off. Olivia asks what the occasion is, and Lulu says, it’s for Take Your Dad to School Day.

Ava tells Avery to show her grandfather some of her other masterpieces. She steps into the hallway with Sonny, and he says he didn’t know she was coming by today. She says they dropped in, and hopes it’s okay. He says, Avery never needs permission to see her grandfather. How’s he been? She says, he took a while to warm up, but he’s been smiling ever since. He’s not talking too much though. Sonny says he hasn’t been talking a lot lately, and asks if Avery is scared. She says, no; Avery is fine. She’s had some experience with her mom being in Shadybrook. She’s so young, she doesn’t understand Alzheimer’s or what happened or what’s to come. Being there doesn’t make Avery sad like it might the older kids. She’s just spending time with her grandfather and loving him.

Olivia asks if Dustin is going to be there on dad school day, and Lulu says, that’s the plan. Olivia tells him to send the recipe, and she’ll get back to him. Carly asks to talk to Dustin about Josslyn’s curriculum, and they step into the hallway. Lulu asks Olivia if something is wrong, and Olivia says she could say that. Lulu has only known Dustin a year, if that. What’s going on? Is she actively trying to erase Dante from Rocco’s life?

Ava asks Sonny how Mike is doing. She takes it this is a good day. He says the good days are fewer and far between, so he’s stopped measuring the bad days, and stays in the moment. He keeps wondering if Mike is having coherent thoughts that he can’t voice, or has any thoughts at all. He just kind of rolls with it. Sometimes Mike makes a precise observation. Ava says that’s when Sonny knows his father is still in there. She owes Sonny and Mike an apology.

Laura says she can’t believe Holly is dead, and Robert says he’s been trying to put it together himself. How could someone like that – Laura says, young and full of lifebe gone; cease to exist. She says she’s sorry, and he says he’s the one who should be sorry for dragging her out of bed. She says, it’s fine, and he says they’re talking about a person she didn’t have the greatest relationship with. She says, that was a long time ago, and people who are important to her cared about Holly; him at the top of the list. Was she ill? He says, it would be easier if that was the truth. She was on a ship that went down in a storm. Laura doesn’t remember hearing about a ship sinking, and he says she won’t. It was no ordinary ship. She asks if it was with the WSB, and he says Holly was doing contract work for them. He doesn’t know the nature. Another one of Holly’s secrets.

On the phone with Anna, Mac asks where’s the rest of the folder he’s looking at? There’s nothing there. Let him know if she turns up anything. Chase runs in, and says, sorry. Mac asks if Chase needs a day off. He senses even though Chase is there, he has something to take care of. Do it for all their sakes.

Brook tells Michael, good luck at the hearing. She says they won’t need it though. One look at them, and the judge will know Wiley belongs with them. She goes upstairs, and Michael tells Willow, he’s sorry Brook put her on the spot; she has a flair for drama. Willow says, really? She hadn’t noticed. He says, it’s funny how everyone is talking them up to each other. She says, you’d think they defy gravity, and he says he already knows how incredible she is.

Carly says she knows Dustin is a nice guy, and appreciates what he’s done for Josslyn. She doesn’t think he knows how fraught the situation is, and how hard it is on Olivia that Lulu is moving on, and not leaving room in her life for Dante. He doesn’t think that’s necessarily true, and she says she’s not judging. Lulu is her cousin, and Carly knows her. Her decision to move on is the right decision. It’s full steam ahead, which is great for Lulu, but she doesn’t think Lulu understands how it affects Olivia. She knows he can’t understand, but if her daughter-in-law walked in and casually mentioned she was bringing another man to Bring Your Dad to School Day, instead of his dad, Carly would kick her to the curb with half her hair pulled out of her head. Rocco’s dad isn’t a deadbeat who walked out, but has a severe case of PTSD, so she can imagine how hard it is for Olivia.

Lulu tells Olivia, no one is trying to erase Dante; it’s what she calls making Rocco happy. Olivia says he could have been happy with Sonny or Michael or with the mailman. Lulu says, when the day rolled around, Rocco didn’t want to feel left out. He came to them, and they sat down and decided together. Dustin is going to be Rocco’s honorary uncle, and he’s going to wear a Yankees hat to represent Dante. Olivia tears up, and says she wishes Lulu would have told her what she was doing. Lulu says it’s really what Rocco wants, and she thinks they both know it’s what Dante would want too.

Robert tells Laura that he and Holly haven’t seen too much of each other in the last few years. And when they did, it wasn’t always friendly circumstances. Laura says, Holly broke Robert’s heart and ran away with a piece of it. Part of him thought he’d get it back one day, and he has to accept that’s not going to happen.

Michael says he has something to say to Willow, and she says, her too. He tells her, ladies first, but she says, no; him. He says he made a promise to do whatever it takes to get custody of Wiley. Now that they’re married, it’s important that they tell the truth. The truth is, if he was going in without her as his wife, he’d be very, very nervous, but with her, he knows he’s going to win. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a counter-suit six months from now. It’s not going be easy. She says, the twists and turns are constant with Nelle, and Michael says, but they will get custody of Wiley. Her turn. She says she heard what he said to Brook, and she needs him to know that she doesn’t regret this. She can’t, and never will. Now she has to get ready for court. Her first appearance as Mrs. Michael Corinthos. She has to look the part.

Ava tells Sonny, when she wanted to press charges against Mike for kidnapping, she had so much going on, but that was no excuse. It was the wrong thing to do, and she deeply regrets it. She’s sorry. He appreciates that, and appreciates her bringing their daughter to see her grandpa. She says, anytime; she means that. They go back into Mike’s room, and Avery is drawing. She says look what she and grandpa made. Ava asks if they did it together, and Avery says, grandpa told her what to do and she did it. Ava says, it’s wonderful. It’s a boy on a bike, and Ava asks who it is. Mike says, his son, and Ava asks if Mike taught his son to ride. Avery says, daddy taught her, and Ava says, the best dads do that. They need to say goodbye; she has to get Avery to school. Avery hugs Mike, and Sonny tells her to have a great time. He tells Mike, what say they put it up on the wall? Out in the hallway, Avery asks if Ava will ever forget her like grandpa forgot daddy. Ava says, even if that happens, it will be far in the future when Avery has a family of her own. Avery asks if she’ll ever forget Ava, and Ava says, just try.

Dustin thanks Olivia for the advice, and she says, anytime. Brook asks if he wants to tour the ballroom, and Dustin says give him a minute. Carly asks Brook how Michael and Willow are, and she says, calm and focused. She can’t figure out Chase; she didn’t peg him for a cheater. The worst part is, he broke Willow’s heart, and now he’s walking around with puppy dog eyes; the guy who arrested her three times. She thought he was better than that. Carly says, Brook was arrested three times? and Brook says, the most recent was yesterday. She had the audacity to call out Sasha, and accidentally bopped her on the nose. Chase gave her a ticket, and she tore it up, like any sensible person would, and he hauled her to the station. Talk about a headcase. Carly says, excuse her, and Brook wonders if it was something she said.

Olivia says Lulu can’t get into Dante’s head, and doesn’t know what he’d want. Lulu says, maybe not the Dante he is today, but she has no doubt the Dante she knew before everything happened would want his son to feel safe with a man as good and kind as Dustin. She thanks Dustin for the ride, and leaves.

Sonny says he got Mike something. It was Jason’s idea. He puts earbuds on Mike, and says, it’s all his favorites; Bobby Darin, Paul Anka, Frankie Avalon, The Platters. He knows Mike hated his taste in music, and said he didn’t know about the classics, but he always knew when Mike was around. When he came home, his mom would put the Platters on. Sonny turns on the iPod, and Mike says, it’s loud. Sonny takes the earbuds off, and says, sorry. They’ll do this another time. Maybe one night when Avery comes to visit. What does he think of Sonny’s little girl? Mike laughs, and Sonny says he’s got to ask something. He needs to know what Mike wants, because next time he asks, Mike might not be able to say. Does he want help? Does he want to stay? Mike looks dreamy, and Sonny says, or does he want to go? The doctor pops in, and asks to speak to Sonny. Sonny tells Mike that he’ll be right back.

Chase tells Mac that he doesn’t need time off, but Mac says his record suggests otherwise. He’s arrested Brook three times. Chase says she was combative and belligerent, and Mac says, she’s a Quartermaine. They’re born that way. Chase asks if they’re supposed to get special treatment, and Mac tells him, get some perspective. Three times in three months? The review board might see it as abuse of power.

Laura tells Robert, she doesn’t mince words. Isn’t that why he came there. He says he drank too much, and gave the wrong address to Ride Share. She says, if he didn’t want it straight, he wouldn’t have come to her. He needs to grieve Holly, and say goodbye. She hugs him.

Dustin tells Olivia, he can’t imagine how difficult the situation is for her, and he doesn’t want to be an impediment to her relationship with Lulu and Rocco. He doesn’t want to take Dante’s place. She respects his willingness to put himself on the line. He says, it’s a strange position to find himself in, and she says, it’s just the way it is.

Lulu visits Laura, and says, sorry to just show up. Laura says, Lulu is her daughter. She can show up whenever she wants. Lulu says she needs advice. She thinks she just blew her relationship with Rocco’s other grandmother.

Sonny asks the doctor if a feeding tube will hurt his dad, and the doctor says they’ll provide pain medication, and keep Mike as comfortable as possible. The greater challenge is, it might further disorient him. He’s stopped eating, and without a tube, they can’t supply proper nutrition. Sonny asks what he recommends, and the doctor says, some patients make provision for life extending measures, but Mike left the decision up to Sonny. Sonny says he needs time to think, and the doctor says, of course (🍷). Michael arrives, and Sonny says he thought Michael was at court. Michael says he had time to see grandpa and tell him that he got married. Does Sonny want to talk? Sonny says they’ll do it after. They want to keep his dad alive with a feeding tube, and he doesn’t know if it’s what Mike would want, or would he want to let go? Michael says if Sonny can, he should ask Mike, and Sonny says, what if he can’t? Michael says, Sonny knows what his dad would want more than anyone, and Mike trusts that. Sonny says, selfishly, he’s not ready for Mike to go, and to be honest, he doesn’t think Mike is ready. It’s easy to say, but what if Mike wants to stick around and see his granddaughter, and see Michael and Wiley? What if he doesn’t want to die?

Robert goes into the station, and Mac asks if he’s wearing the same clothes that he had on yesterday. Robert says he is, and Mac says, interrogation room, now. They go into the room, and Mac says, what happened? He put Robert in a cab. Robert believes he washed up on Laura’s couch. Mac says, the mayor? and Robert says he felt like doing work to get his mind off of things. Mac says Robert isn’t working; take the day off. And take this with him. He hands Robert a folder, and Robert asks what it is. Mac says, a heavily redacted report from the WSB on Holly’s death. Robert asks why it’s so redacted, and Mac says, read it and see.

Willow comes into the station, and stands in front of Chase’s desk.

Robert says, it’s all black; there’s nothing here. Mac says, look closer, and see what he and Anna did. Robert says he has a screaming headache, and Mac says, there’s more to Holly’s death than what’s there. He and Anna aren’t convinced the ship accidentally went down.

Carly tells Brook, Olivia is Dante’s mother, and mothers don’t move on the same way. Sadly for Olivia, she might be waiting for Dante to come home for the rest of her life, and she’ll have to accept it

Olivia thanks Dustin, and he says he appreciates it. She says she’s not going to pretend it’s easy, but she’s happy Lulu found someone like him; a decent person. He thanks her, and says, it means a lot. She says, just so she’s clear, Dante is her son, and she’ll never give up on him. She’ll never stop hoping and praying, and doing everything in her power to bring him home. Dustin says they want the same things. Brook comes by, and says, shall we? She asks if Dustin needs a drink, but he says, it’s not even noon. She says, he knows what they say; it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.

Michael asks Sonny how long Mike hasn’t been eating, and Sonny says, a few days. It’s not like he’s starving himself on purpose. It’s almost like he’s forgotten how to eat. When Mike was with Avery, he was so happy. Sonny could see it. Sometimes he thinks it would be easier for him to let it be over, but it’s not what he wants. It’s what his dad wants. With Avery, Mike had a moment; more than a moment, a connection. If keeping him alive – Sonny cries a little – if keeping him alive five more months will give him five more of those moments, who is he to say Mike can’t have that?

Chase asks what Willow is doing there, and she says, it’s probably not the place, but she has something to tell him that can’t wait. She and Michael got married last night. She didn’t want him to hear it from anyone else. He asks, why? and she says she thought it would hurt less coming from her. He asks if it matters to her what he thinks, and she says, it always will. Goodbye. He calls her back, and says, good luck in court today. She thanks him, and walks out. Carly walks in, and looks at Chase.

Tomorrow, Robert tells Anna that he wants to prove Holly was murdered, Valentin tells Martin that he’s closer than the Quartermaines realize, Chase asks why Carly is there, and Maxie says someone has five minutes to get there.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

The bickering continued at Denise’s dinner party. Sutton tried to explain to Dorit, that her saying she had a life resonated with Kyle. Since trying to explain anything to Dorit is like explaining something to a hamster, Dorit insisted she didn’t say it that way. She did. Kyle said it was offensive, and then made the mistake of informing Dorit that other people had lives, or as Garcelle put it in her interview, everybody has stuff. LisaR compounded things by saying that Kyle blindly supported others, but Kyle said, even when it was her sister Kim, she’d supported LisaR. LisaR said that wasn’t always the case, and cited her nasty impression of Erika Jayne at the party where she harassed Kim. This actually supported the argument that Kyle didn’t blindly give support, since it varied by the situation. Why Kyle didn’t say this was beyond me, but instead, she said, f*** you all, and removed herself from the situation. Teddi followed, which everyone else took as evidence of said blind support. In Dorit’s interview, she said, Kyle is upset; cue Teddi. In Denise’s interview, she said Kyle needed to be the center of attention and was childish. It pissed her off. While I totally agree that Kyle grabbed that crown and ran with it this season, I can’t blindly support Denise in this instance, since it was a case of the gang-up style the ladies love. Dorit reminded everyone that Kyle had called them fake-ass bitches. Teddi returned, and told them when someone was upset and crying, barraging them with questions didn’t make the situation better. Letting them recover was just common decency. LisaR insisted that talking honestly was the better choice, but with this bunch, that’s usually code for talking smack. Teddi said, when someone is upset, let them be, and LisaR said, but she wanted to fix things. Right.

Amelia had come back home, and she and sister Delilah had created a new clothing line called DNR. A launch party was planned, and LisaR horned in on the photo shoot. I think we can safely say, every single one of them wants to be the center of attention. Except maybe Denise.

Erika met Denise for coffee, and Denise said she hadn’t liked where the conversation was going at the party in front of her kids. Her oldest daughter Sami overheard them arguing over threesomes. In Denise’s interview, she said she didn’t want the kids’ friends going home and repeating what they heard. They’ve never been that house. She told Erika that she wasn’t thrilled with Kyle yelling, f*** off to everyone before she stomped away. Erika thought Kyle was under a lot of pressure when everyone came at her. In her interview, Denise said, bitch, we all have a lot going on. That’s no excuse to be an a-hole. Truth! She told Erika that she’d sent out a thank you to everyone, and Kyle was the only one who didn’t respond. Denise said Kyle must consider her one of those fake-ass bitches.

Garcelle had a birthday party for her twin boys, and in her interview, she said that kids’ parties in Beverly Hills were usually over-the-top, but her kids were fine with donuts and ice cream. Her ex-husband Mike was there, and they seem to get along quite well. In Garcelle’s interview, she said, after the divorce, she put things together quickly to co-parent, so the kids weren’t damaged. They didn’t see the ugly side of divorce. She told Mike that the kids were getting older, and it was freaking her out.

The women made plans to have cocktails at Erika’s pied-à-terre, go to the DNR launch, and then go out to dinner. Kyle didn’t want to be piled on again, but decided to suck it up and go. LisaR’s mom Lois, who is probably the only one who isn’t a fake-ass bitch, along with Denise, joined them. LisaR sort of apologized to Kyle, and Kyle insisted she didn’t blindly defend people, citing the example of standing up for Dorit at the expense of her friendship with LVP. She said she defended what was right. LisaR said Kyle was there when it matters, In Kyle’s interview, she said she thought LisaR’s apology was genuine, but also motivated by wanting them at her daughters’ event. LisaR said the event was going to be a collaboration, and they’d see when they got there. Sutton was concerned the collab was with LisaR’s makeup artist, who she had issues with. When they got there, she made the huge mistake of telling Dorit that she might freak out, which caused Dorit to be concerned about what Sutton might do. Like Sutton has a reputation for tossing wine glasses at people. I’m talking to you, LisaR.

LisaR hoped her daughters inherited her hustling gene. In her interview, she said she thought they’d gotten Harry’s intelligence and her hustle. They’d hit the gene lottery. The collaboration turned out to be with The Fat Jewish, and Sutton breathed a sigh of relief. Sutton explained in her interview, that she’d been worried it was with Joey Maalouf, at one time a mutual friend of hers and LisaR’s. He and Sutton went into business together, and apparently there had been some problems, which Sutton didn’t go into details about. She said the business survived, but she and Joey had a falling out. Kyle explained she had left Denise’s party because she wasn’t having a good time in that moment. In Denise’s interview, she said she loved Kyle’s half-assed apology, and Kyle only cares about what Kyle has to say.

At dinner, Dorit said she was uncomfortable when Sutton said she might freak out, since she didn’t know what that meant. Sutton said it meant she’d start to cry and want to go home, and explained how she thought it was a collab with the makeup artist. Somehow, this stupidly turned into LisaR claiming this was an attack on her kids, even though it had nothing to do with them. LisaR said if Sutton had caused a commotion, she would have thrown her out immediately. Sutton was taken aback, and in her interview, she said she’d never seen this aggressive side of LisaR (really?), and since LisaR had put her in this lion’s den, shouldn’t she be throwing Sutton a sword? Dorit acted like a complete a-hole, finally making Sutton cry, and LisaR kept saying, don’t come for her kids. Sutton told Dorit, she’d had her fun; let the mouse go. Kyle said Sutton didn’t have any bad intentions, and Dorit took this opportunity to remind everyone again that Kyle had said they were fake-ass bitches, and demanded an example. Kyle said it was like when Dorit got all glammed up for the retreat, and added how Denise acted all down-to-earth, yet dared to have an ice sculpture at her party. Dorit said Teddi hadn’t been very glam the first season, but changed her look for season two, and told Kyle that it was a double-standard. Denise tried to talk to Kyle, who (no surprise) wouldn’t let her finish a sentence. Denise said Kyle talked at them and not to them, and doesn’t listen. In her interview, Erika wondered where Miss Laid Back was, since I guess if you’re laid back, you can’t have feelings. Lois chimed in, saying they were going to look back on this, and think it was crazy. Then they’d wake up and be 81. LisaR said Lois was 91, and told her, don’t be a fake-ass bitch.

Next time, the women meet with an astrologer, and once again, Kyle wants to be the center of attention.

🍸 Behind the VanderScenes…

I still can’t imagine Scheana is the brightest bulb in the box.

Still, she has her supporters.

On the flip side, our heroes.

👑 Didn’t See This One Coming…

When potential Shahs and royals mix.

📺 Free For You…

If you can stream it, you can sling it for free.

🦅 Moving Toward Freedom…

Little by little, things are opening. So stay smart, stay helpful, and stay on the bright side.

May 12, 2020 – Nelle Discovers a Secret, Jax Has a Sprained Brain, Alex Goes Home & Late Or Early


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Brook tells Julian, as long as he does the occasional favor, she won’t have to tell Sonny. He helped Brad pass off a stolen baby as Willow’s. When Brad got squirmy, he tried to shut Brad up by sabotaging his car, and Lucas woke up in a coma. He shouldn’t complain, but be grateful it’s not someone worse than her. Nelle listens from the hallway.

Michael and Willow go to the MetroCourt, and Carly says she thought they’d be with Diane, prepping for tomorrow. Michael says, they did, and dropped by for a toast. Sonny asks what they’re toasting to, and he says Willow agreed to marry him. Carly says, that’s wonderful news, and welcomes Willow to the family. Michael says they agreed it was the best thing for Wiley, and Carly thinks it’s the best thing for all three of them. Sonny asks when it’s happening, and Michael says, tonight he hopes. He’s filing a flight plan. Sonny says he needs to talk with his son.

Lucy tells Sasha to leave the bag of ice on her nose. They need her beautiful face to be camera ready for the photo shoot tomorrow. The photographer was expensive, and he’s already booked and paid for. Sasha says her cheeks are numb, and Lucy says, they’ll thaw. She hates that she agreed to a non-airbrush campaign, and is going to sue Brook if they have to reschedule. Sasha says she’ll be fine. Lucy says she seems grumpy, and Sasha says she’s getting frostbite. Lucy tells her, take a deep breath. She’s been there, and understands what it’s like to be labeled the town tramp.

On the phone, Ned tells Tracy, he’s trying to salvage the Med Tech deal… He fully intends to continue on as CEO, but he can’t force Michael out of the company. Monica comes in, and asks if he minds telling her what’s going on.

Portia asks if Trina is feeling better. Trina says, a little bit, but because Portia is a great mom, not because she despises Jordan any less. Portia says, Jordan isn’t the bad guy, and Trina says, she knows Jordan isn’t. He is. Cyrus is walking toward them, and Trina jumps up and strides over to him. She says she knows who he is; Cyrus Renault. He says, Trina. He’s sorry to hear her father is dead. Trina says he doesn’t sound like someone who’s sorry. He sounds like someone who needs to be stopped. Curtis and Jordan arrive, and Curtis tells Cyrus, back off. Stay the hell away from Trina. Cyrus says he doesn’t believe they’ve been introduced, and Curtis says Cyrus knows good and well who he is; he’s Jordan’s husband. Cyrus introduces himself, and Curtis says he knows everything about Cyrus. Play his game somewhere else, and stay the hell away from Trina and Portia. Cyrus says, for the record, the young lady came over to him. He saw no harm in offering his condolences. Curtis asks if he wants to talk about harm, and Jordan says since Cyrus is there, there are some things they need to discuss. They step away, and Curtis asks if Trina is okay. She asks why he’s butting in now when he left her father to die in the warehouse.

Monica wonders why she has a missed call from the PCPD, and Ned says, it must have been Brook. Monica asks if Brook has been arrested again, and Ned says, yeah; disturbing the peace. She reached out to him, but he refused to rescue her. She tells him, be careful. Tough love can have unintentional consequences. Look at his mother and Edward. He says, it’s not that bad, and she says, not yet. What if he makes Brook fend for herself, and it makes the situation worse?

Sasha asks Lucy if she’s being labeled as the town tramp. Lucy says, no… well… Who cares what people think? People cheat on their partners all the time. She tells Sasha to put the ice back on, and Sasha tells her, stop. Lucy says, it looks better. One more minute. Please? For her? She tells Sasha that she’s there for her. She completely understands when a good person find themselves cheating on their partner. It takes time. She hurt Doc terribly a while back, and didn’t think he’d ever forgive her, but now they’re friends, and he’s happy with Laura, while she’s a successful entrepreneur. All’s well that ends well.

At The Floating Rib, Martin mumbles that Nelle is trying his patience. Where is the little nutcase?

Brook thanks Julian for the drink, and asks if he’ll take her home. He says he’s had enough for one night; take a Ride Share. His phone rings, and he says, hi, Olivia. He asks what Leo is doing with his mom’s phone. He tells Leo, calm down… Ned did what?… Where’s his mom? He says he’ll be right there; hang tight. He tells Brook, it looks like she’s getting a ride after all. He couldn’t understand Leo; he was so upset. Ned did or said something. Brook says, Ned would never hurt Leo, and Julian says, he’d better not have. They leave, and Nelle comes out. She calls Martin, and asks where he is. He says he’s at The Floating Rib, where they agreed to meet a half hour ago. She says she got held up, and he says he’s charging for his time and his dinner. She says, no problem. She’s on her way now. He says he hopes whatever kept her was worth it, and she tells him, she can’t say at the moment, but she has the feeling it could prove useful.

Carly says Willow is going to be part of the family. She can’t tell Willow how grateful she is that she agreed. Willow is a strong woman, and she admires that. She knows Willow isn’t Wiley’s birth mother, but she’s shown herself to be every bit his mother by her actions. She loves Wiley, and puts him first. She couldn’t pick a better person, but is this what Willow wants? She knows Willow was with Chase, and loves him. Willow flashes back to Chase saying he loves her, and loves being with her. He thinks it’s turning into something special, and instead of looking for all the ways it could go wrong, the should look for all the ways it can go right. He’d love it if she’d move in with him. Carly asks if she’ll be able let that go.

Sonny tells Michael, Willow is a courageous young woman. He’ll always be grateful for what she did for Kristina, but is Michael sure he wants to marry her? Michael says, completely. He knows how manipulative Nelle can be, and he’s taking no chances on losing Wiley. He wants to make the strongest case possible, and Willow will be the perfect stepmother. He knows Wiley loves her. Sonny says the marriage is going to last beyond the court date. Is Michael willing to live in a loveless marriage? Michael says love hasn’t worked out for him before. He and Willow respect each other, and have been friends for a while. He likes and trusts her, and they both love Wiley. Sonny asks if Michael thinks it’s enough, and Michael says he’s doing what he has to for his son.

Cyrus says Jordan’s husband is very protective. She says, that’s Curtis, but she doesn’t need anyone to protect her. He says she’ll get no argument from him. He remembers how capable and good she is at her job. He’s always admired her efficiency. He can’t thank her enough for seeing that justice was served and exonerated, even if it was detained. She says he doesn’t have to put on an act; there’s no one else there. He says, it’s just them, and he looks forward to her acting on his behalf, especially now that he’s a resident of the community she’s sworn to serve.

Portia tells Trina, maybe it’s easier to blame Curtis, but he didn’t kidnap her, or lure her father to the warehouse. Trina says Curtis left her father in the warehouse with four guys who had guns. Portia says her father instructed Curtis to get her to a safe place, and she’s grateful he did. Trina says, she’s not.

Sonny says he wants love and passion for Michael. Not somebody who’s just trustworthy, but someone who’s compatible. Michael says, Willow is making a sacrifice too, but they agreed that Wiley was the most important thing. Beyond Nelle, they can give Wiley stability, and a happy home, with parents who respect each other. He’s taking it as a win. Sonny says, okay, and they go back to the bar. Sonny says, so they’re doing this tonight? and Michael says he has the ELQ jet ready to go to Vegas. Sonny says, not Vegas. He wants Michael to get married in Port Charles surrounded by the people he loves. Michael says he doesn’t have time to get a license, but Sonny says, no problem. He’ll make some calls, and get one. Michael shrugs, and looks at Willow.

Monica tells Ned not to let her run him out if he has more work to do. He says he was going over the next quarter’s projections, and he’s ready to pack it in. She says she can’t thank him enough for stepping in while Michael looks after Wiley. He says, family looks after family; it’s the Quartermaine way. Brook comes in with Julian, and Ned asks what she’s doing home. And why is she with Julian? Julian asks where Leo is, and Ned says, he’s asleep. Julian says, he just called; where’s Olivia? Monica says, Olivia is sleeping. She had a migraine, so Monica gave her something to knock her out. Julian says, Leo was very upset. What did Ned do? Ned says, nothing, but Julian says he was sobbing, and mentioned Ned. Ned says Leo is playing Julian. He told Leo that he couldn’t have a pet snake. He’s been obsessed ever since Violet’s birthday party. Olivia said it was out of the question. Julian asks if Ned minds if he goes upstairs to have a chat with Leo, and Ned says, of course (🍷) not. Julian and Monica go upstairs, and Brook says she told Julian that Ned would never hurt Leo. Ned says, never mind that. What the hell is she doing with Julian?

Nelle joins Martin, who says, excellent. Just in time for the bill. What does she want to talk to him about? She says, strategy. She sees Sasha, and goes over to her. She asks if it was Willow. It looks like it hurts. Sasha says, get out of her face, and Nelle asks if Sasha is going to throw a drink on her like the friend she betrayed. Poor Willow can’t catch a break.

Jordan tells Cyrus, he’s right about one thing. She serves all the people in Port Charles. He tells her, have a lovely evening. He’s sure their paths will cross again soon. He walks away.

Trina tells Portia, Curtis could have gone back in to help her dad. She begged him to, and he refused. Now his wife is trashing her dad’s reputation with a lie. Portia says, as much as they wish it wasn’t true, her father and the other men crossed a line. Curtis joins them, and says Jordan didn’t want to expose Taggert, since she knew what motivated him. Jordan comes up behind him, and Curtis says, Cyrus is a dangerous man; steer clear of him. Trina says he’s just covering for Jordan. She’s the reason Cyrus is free in the first place. They’re just as bad as Cyrus is.

Lucy tells Sasha, she’s got to go. She doesn’t want to, but she’s got to. She’s needed at the Quartermaines. Sasha ask if everything is okay. Did something happen to Michael? Lucy tells her, brace herself. Michael is going to marry Willow, and Sonny asked her to officiate. Nelle says, Michael can’t marry her, but Lucy says, yeah; he can. Michael is a Corinthos and a Quartermaine. He’s Sonny’s son, and Edward’s great-grandson. He’s part of two great pillars of Port Charles. He’s also related to the Spencers, and can do whatever he wants to do with his power and money. Sasha flashes back to telling Chase that she thinks Michael will do his best to keep Wiley safe. And she thinks before Wiley’s third birthday, maybe sooner, Willow will be madly in love with Michael, and be the happiest woman on the face of the earth. Lucy says, it speaks highly to Michael’s character. She’s never seen him throw his weight around. It must be important this time to get what he wants. She tells Sasha, please go home and rest. She doesn’t need this aggravation. She’ll call Sasha later. Ta! Nelle stomps back to Martin’s table.

Brook says, I’m happy you’re out of jail and okay. How are you feeling? Those are the words a loving father would say. He wouldn’t hang up on her, and leave her to rot. She called Julian because he was the only one available. He asks if this is going to be a regular occurrence, being tossed in jail for disturbing the peace. She says she was defending Michael’s honor. She got into it with Sasha at the boxing gym, her glove accidently collided with Sasha’s face. She flashes back to that, and Ned asks if Sasha is going to press charges, and is it going to show up online. She says, no and no. Sasha got a bloody nose, and it would have been over, except Chase got on his high horse and wrote her a ticket for she doesn’t know what. The doorbell rings, and she says, that’s probably him to write her up again. It’s Josslyn, and she asks if Michael hasn’t called them. Ned asks if there’s a reason he should, and she says, Michael and Willow are getting married. Brook says, tonight?

Nelle tells Martin, it’s obvious what Michael is trying to do, and Martin says, if Michael chooses to marry a delightful young woman he’s known for over a year, and is devoted to Wiley, and who Wiley loves, he can’t imagine the court objecting. Nelle says they need a counter move. He needs to earn his money.

Monica comes downstairs, and asks if Michael texted Josslyn. Ned says, about the wedding? and Monica says, Michael and Willow are getting married; she couldn’t be happier. Ned says he sees the legal strategy, and Brook says he’s no expert, having been blackmailed into marriage by Kathryn Bell. Ned says, Michael is going to marry a woman he never even dated? and Josslyn says she thinks it’s great. Wiley loves Willow, and she might be good enough for Michael. Sonny, Carly, Michael, and Willow come in, and Michael says, good; they’re all there. Are they ready for a wedding?

Curtis says, Trina is right; Cyrus should be in prison, but Jordan was serving the greater good. Jordan says she’s sorry Trina is hurt, and Trina says, then tell everyone her dad is innocent. Portia tells Trina, they have a more pressing matter to discuss. Trina wanted to do battle with a dangerous criminal. Promise she’ll stay away from Cyrus. Trina says, if Portia promises to make Curtis and his wife stay away from her.

Brook congratulates Willow, and welcomes her to the family. God help her. Willow says, thanks? Brook asks if that’s what she’s wearing. She’d look gorgeous in a potato sack, but let her look in her closet for something better suited to the occasion. Josslyn asks if Monica minds if she looks around, and Monica tells her, help herself to anything she thinks she can use. Sonny says he appreciates Monica doing this, and thanks her for opening up her home, and letting Michael get married there. She says Michael is her grandson, and should be married there. She asks who’s officiating, and he says, Lucy. He couldn’t find anybody. She says, he couldn’t do better than Alan’s ex-bimbo? He says, she was the only one available on such short notice. He sees Julian, and asks what Julian is doing there. Julian says, his son lives there. Sonny? Sonny says, same. Julian says he was just leaving, and Sonny says, good. Julian tells him to give Michael and Willow his best wishes. Willow cares what happens to Wiley, and deserves be with him, not Nelle.

Martin says, Nelle has the best possible case she can. She has financial means, a house, and a job. She says Michael is a CEO and lives in a mansion. Now he’s marrying Snow White. He says he can’t prevent that any more than he can conjure up a husband for her. She says, he’s a genius, and he says they’re not getting married. She tells him, calm down; they don’t have to, and she leaves.

Michael finds Willow sitting by herself, and asks how she’s holding up. She says, just fine. She’s not the fragile flower he thinks she is. He says he knows she’s anything but fragile. He’s seen how strong she is, and how hard she can fight. He’s grateful that she’s marrying him. She tells him, stop thanking her. She loves Wiley, and when she found out he wasn’t her son, she can’t describe the loss she felt. Now Wiley will be her son again. If anyone is grateful, it’s her. He says, mutual gratitude isn’t a bad foundation for a marriage, and Willow says, it will work. He says, sorry it’s so last minute, but she says she’s not. She has no time to be nervous. He says he’s not nervous. He knows it’s right, and he’s grateful she agreed. He was hoping she would accept this ring. He takes a ring out of his pocket that looks a lot like Princess Diana’s engagement ring. She says, oh my God, and he tells her it belonged to his great-grandmother Lila. He doesn’t remember her, but he’s heard stories. She was generous and kind, and saw the good in people, but she was nobody’s fool. She never got distracted be things that didn’t matter; the infighting and bickering. She was better than his great-grandfather deserved, and she was an amazing mother. He thinks Willow would be the perfect one to wear her ring. She says, it’s beautiful, but it was his great-grandmother’s ring. Maybe someone in the family should have it. He says, she is family. Does she trust him on this? She says, yes, she trusts him, and he puts the ring on her. He says, perfect fit.

Sasha and Chase meet at the pier. He asks why she couldn’t tell him over the phone, and she says she doesn’t know why it’s hitting her so hard when it’s what they wanted. Michael and Willow are getting married tonight.

Lucy gives Sonny an envelope with the license in it, and says he certainly does have friends in influential places. The judge sends his best, and wishes Michael much success. She tells him, there’s a one-day waiting period, and he says he loves midnight weddings. Technically, it will be tomorrow when it’s over. Carly brings Wiley in, and says, look who woke up. She tried to get him to go back down, but no go. Sonny says, he can join the ceremony.

Chase asks if Sasha is sure it’s tonight, and she says Michael and Willow want to get married before the hearing. He asks how she found out, and she says she was at The Floating Rib with Lucy when she got the call. He says, it must have been tough, and she says, the hardest part was seeing Nelle, and knowing it didn’t have to happen. He asks if Nelle knows about the wedding, and Sasha says Nelle went zooming back to her lawyer. She wouldn’t put it past Nelle to bother them. Should they warn them? Chase asks, who would take a call from either of them?

Carly’s phone rings, and she tells Sasha, it’s not a good time. Sasha says, Nelle overheard Lucy at The Floating Rib. She knows Michael and Willow are getting married. Carly asks if Sasha has any idea what Nelle is going to do, and Sasha says, Nelle was talking to her lawyer, then left. She wanted to give them a heads up. Carly thanks her, and says she’ll take it from there. Nothing is getting in the way of this wedding tonight.

Jordan asks if Curtis found TJ, and he says, TJ is observing a surgery. He left a message. He wonders if Cyrus is gone, but she says, security said he hasn’t left the building yet. They see Cyrus walking around, and Curtis says, visiting hours are over. Cyrus says, that’s why he’s leaving. He asks Jordan if her son doesn’t work there. In fact, he believes TJ is working tonight. Curtis says, it’s none of his business, and Cyrus says his interests are far reaching. He wouldn’t underestimate that. He walks away.

Nelle goes to Charlie’s, but Julian yells, they’re closed. She bangs on the door like a madwoman, and Julian opens it. He asks, what’s wrong with her? They’re closed. She says, trust her. He’ll want hear what she has to say.

The wedding march begins. Willow comes down the stairs in a white lace halter gown, carrying a bouquet of roses. She and Michael join hands. Lucy says they’re gathered here to witness Michael and Willow join in the bonds of matrimony.

Chase gives Sasha a beer, and asks if she’d care to join him. She says, why not? As they drink, she asks if he knows where the phrase a far, far better thing comes from. He says he doesn’t, and she says, it’s from A Tale of Two Cities. It’s Dickens, and has a convoluted plot. Sidney is in love with a girl who’s in love with an aristocrat who looks like him. Sidney sends them off to live happily ever after, and takes the guy’s place at the guillotine. As he’s climbing the scaffold to his death, he says, it’s a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before; and it’s a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known. He says, at least they’re not getting their heads chopped off; so there’s that. She says, compared to Sidney, they’re getting off easy. They toast to Sidney.

Michael says his vows, and Willow follows. Everyone is all misty like this is a real love match. Michael puts the ring on Willow’s finger, and Lucy says, by the power vested in her by the state of New York, she now pronounces them husband and wife. She tells Michael he can kiss his bride. He and Willow kiss, and everyone applauds. Michael smiles at Willow, who looks a little dazed.

Tomorrow, Robert asks Laura why they don’t pick up where they left off, Avery asks if she’ll ever forget Ava, and Sonny needs to know what Mike wants.

Vanderpump Rules

The Toms go to SUR to clean the gender-neutral bathroom with toothbrushes. Lisa asks, what the hell? Is it blocked? Tom explains that it’s part of the softball deal. The loser had to clean the other’s bathroom. She asks why they’re wearing matching shirts, and Tom says, it’s the TomTom experience. She says they should have done something productive, like shave her legs. Schwartz asks if that’s still o on the table. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he’s having a moment. He can just picture it at Villa Rosa. Her dainty leg hanging over the tub; long, smooth, gentle strokes, making sure not to nick her leg. It smells like rose petals and $300 candles. Tom sticks a toothbrush in his mouth, and Lisa asks, what’s wrong with them?

In his interview, James says he’s back behind the booth. It’s like a new life, and it’s been a long time coming. He’s back, baby. Raquel says she’s so excited, and now she can tell her friends who have been asking about when he’s DJing. Schwartz and Tom come out of the bathroom, and Schwartz says they head by example. They’re not afraid to get their hands dirty. He supposes he should wash them. Brittany says, hi, pooper scoopers, and Tom tells her, last night, Jax told them they’re not invited, so they decided to have their own party then. Brittany says, that’s kind of messed up, and they don’t ever have people over. Tom says, they did last night. In Tom’s interview, he says he’s not dealing with the way Jax behaves. He’s over it. Brittany  tells them, do what they want to do. Tom wishes Jax would stop… Schwartz says, being an a-hole.

Brett and Dayna go to Hyde, another restaurant Charli works at. Dayna is excited for Brett to see her in a comedy setting. Charli asks if flannel is Brett’s thing, and he says, no, but we flash back to seeing him only in flannel shirts. Dayna says, he’s like a sexy Paul Bunion, but Charli says, is he? In Dayna’s interview, she says she likes Brett, and wants to see where it goes. They work at the same restaurant, they’re both single AF, they’re both hot, and have the same interests. Brett tells her that he talked to Max, and asked how he felt. He can tell something is there, and that’s the kind of friend he is. In Brett’s interview, he says, he asked Max about lunch, and he was cool. He asked about kissing Dayna, and Max was cool, but when he asked about having sex, he hit a wall. They’re murky waters, but he’s got a big boat. Onward, going at 55 knots. In the parking lot, Dayna says, it was a great night, and they kiss.

Brittany comes home, and tells Jax that he’s not going believe it. She saw Tom at work, and he and Ariana are having a pool party at the same time they are. Jax asks, why? and she says she doesn’t know. Maybe they got mad about him texting Max. Jax says everyone begged him to have Tom back in the wedding, and he shouldn’t have. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s been one thing after another. Tom didn’t come to the bachelor party, and made a scene about his pastor. Now he’s throwing a pool party the same day. What’s his problem? He asks Brittany, why are they doing this? It’s time they were done with Tom and Ariana. Brittany says it makes her sad. They have a blow-up slide coming. It’s petty. Jax says, Tom has been petty his whole life. He imitates Tom saying, oh, look what Jax wrote. He tells Brittany, he’s worse than a child. Brittany says she was there, and maybe if Jax wouldn’t have rage texted… Jax says, so she’s saying it’s all his fault? She says she’s just saying if he hadn’t messaged in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened. Jax says he’s going to the gym. Brittany says, it’s the third time today, and asks if that’s where he’s really going. He says she can track him on his phone.

On Instagram, Jax says he’s taking so many classes, his wife thinks he’s leading a double life. In his interview, he says, it’s his therapy. It’s like textbook 101; when you’re angry, walk away. Shouldn’t that be anger 101? Lisa goes to TomTom, and tells the Toms they’re doing a big photo shoot for the Hollywood Reporter. They’re going to highlight all of the businesses together. Tom asks, what about having a year anniversary party after the shoot? Ken says they actually made a profit in the first year. Do they want to nearly double their money? Lisa says they’re looking at next door, and they can knock through and make it part of TomTom, or keep it separate. If it’s part of TomTom, it will be called The Garden at TomTom, but if it’s separate, it will just be The Garden. Ken says, they can invest the profit, and have 10%. Lisa says she’d like see them throw in; it’s been a great year. Schwartz says, it’s been rewarding, fulfilling, and he’s learned so much. Lisa says she’s going to cry. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, at times, the partnership was rocky. We flash back to some of that, and he says, but they made it through the first year, and turned a profit. Holy sh*t. Lisa says they need to know by Monday. Tom says he has to talk it over with Ariana, and Lisa says, that’s what he should do. Lisa and Ken leave, and Tom says, it’s decision time. Schwartz says he feels like a stud.

In his InstaStory, Jax says the women instructors are hard. They make the male instructors look like little girls. Lala visits Brittany, and says she was just texting Brittany’s hubby. Brittany says, he’s being cray-cray. Jax calls Lala, and she says she’s going to Dayna’s comedy show. He tells her not to go to Tom’s pool party. She tells him, calm down, and go workout. He says he works out so much, his wife thinks he’s messing around. What wife yells at their husband for going to the gym? Brittany says, that’s not what she did. He’s spiraling out of control, and is doing the same things he did before, and he’s going crazy on her friends. Calm down, and stop texting. She loves him. She tells Lala, he hung up. She can’t keep dealing with this crap. She’s wondering why he’s acting like this again. Lala asks if he was reactive before, and Brittany says, yes. She doesn’t want him to go back to those ways. In Brittany’s interview, she says she worked hard to forgive Jax, but even though she’s forgiven him, she hasn’t forgotten. She tells Lala that Jax is stirred up again. She’s wondering if anyone is coming, and they need a DJ. Lala asks if she should ask James, and calls him. She says Brittany and Jax are having a pool party, and she thought she’d reach out to see if he can DJ. Brittany says they thought it would be fun. James stammers a little, and says he appreciates being invited, but he already said yes to Tom. Lala says she totally gets it. When she hangs up, Brittany asks why would Tom plan something at the same time? He’s being a jerk. One person does wrong, so the other person does too. Lala says, it’s sad, and Brittany says, it’s hard to deal with when Jax is texting all of her friends.

Once again Instagramming, Jax films the outside of the gym, and says, it’s his new house, where his wife is going to divorce him because spent too much time there. Lala arrives at the comedy club, and Beau and Stassi tell her that they’ve been practicing their comedy laughs. Max shows up, followed by Brett, and Stassi says, it’s sweet. They both came to support their girlfriend. Max gives Brett a reluctant fist bump. Max asks if Brett talked to Scheana, and Brett says she just texted, asking where they’re going afterward. Stassi says, somewhere nearby, and he asks if Nighthawk is around there. A guy comes out, and does a bit using Max and Beau’s names, then introduces Dayna, who, from what little we see, isn’t bad. In Stassi’s interview, she says, Dayna has a cynical view of world that’s actually funny. Her negativity makes Stassi laugh. Dayna joins them when she’s done, and they tell her she did good. On Instagram, Jax says he has an update. His ring is back on, and his marriage is still okay. A million people keep asking, where’s his ring?

Lisa goes to the bar at SUR, and asks Ariana how she is, and if all is well. Ariana says she’s seeing a lot of the work she did over the summer come to fruition, and their book is coming out. (FYI, I got it for Christmas.) Lisa is glad to hear Ariana is doing well, and reminds her about Covenant House. Ariana says she has some clothes and cosmetic stuff. In Lisa’s interview, she says, Covenant House is a place for at risk youth that helps them transition into adulthood. She says she’ll meet Ariana there, and Ariana says, the only problem going on is the pool party thing. Lisa asks what she means, and Ariana tells her that Jax and Brittany are having a pool party. Everyone was going, and Jax started uninviting everyone. Some of them said Tom and Ariana have a pool; why not have their own pool party? Lisa says, not on the same day and time, but Ariana says, if you bully your friends for years, that’s what happens. Everybody says, screw them. What’s anyone losing by not being friends with Jax? She makes Ariana promise that when they see each other at work, it will be productive and go with a positive attitude.

Lala tells Dayna, she can finally relax; she killed her show. The group goes to Nighthawk, and Dayna thanks them for coming. Stassi says, it was a relief that Dayna was so great. She should be proud of herself. Scheana joins them, and says she could literally walk there, but she didn’t because she’s going out after this. She brings up the competing pool parties, and Lala says, that’s effed up. Scheana says she’s shooting, so she can’t go to either of them. She asks if they’re picking one or pool party hopping. Lala says she’s not going to a frat house that has no furniture, and they don’t even know if there will be food. She’ll be at Jax and Brittany’s like an adult. Scheana says, Jax texted her that she was dumb, and shouldn’t have planned to video on that day. Stassi says, for real she has to talk to him. In Stassi’s interview, she says, someone needs to say something, and she feels she’s one of the only people who can. To be frank, she thinks Jax is kind of scared of her. Lala says she heard Brett and Dayna made out. In Dayna’s interview, she says, note to self; don’t tell Lala sh*t. Lala asks, what’s the vibe? and Dayna says, there’s no vibe. Max makes fun of Dayna, and she asks if he has a problem. What did she do to him? He says she made out with his best friend. He told her how he felt. She says, he was ambiguous. We flash back to Max telling Dayna, he’s cool, but not cool. He says, she needs to control her sh*t, and Stassi says Dayna doesn’t owe Max anything. Max says he also told Brett, and Brett says he’s been honest with Max. Dayna says, they like each other and have similar interests. Brett says he respects his and Max’s friendship, and Dayna knows that. Scheana asks why they were making out, and Dayna tells her, STFU. Max thinks Brett is lying to him, and tells Brett to look him in the eye, and tell him that he doesn’t have feelings for Dayna. Brett insists he doesn’t. He’s interested in her, and they’re close, she’s someone he likes having in his life, but he doesn’t have feelings for her. I’m not sure what he calls it then. Lala says, that doesn’t even make sense (thank you). Scheana asks why they made out multiple times, and Beau says Dayna is the one feeling the most embarrassed and hurt. Stassi says, everyone has to pick a lane. Lala says, ya’ll are real messy right now, and Max tells Dayna, don’t make out with his friends. Dayna tells Max, STFU.

Back on the Gram, Jax says the male instructors must have heard him calling them girls, and took it out on him. He just had two classes that were hard as hell. At Covenant House, Lisa, Brittany, and Ariana sort the clothes. Lisa remembers when she fit in them. She asks how Brittany is, and Brittany says, it’s been a rough couple of days. Jax was rage texting, and the others got mad. They started fighting, and it trickled over. Lisa says, these are the best moments of Jax’s life; he has a new house, and just got married. Brittany says, it’s sad. Tom hurt her feelings. Everyone had to choose where to go. She feels like she tried hard. Ariana says, maybe Jax hurt their feelings. Brittany is collateral damage. Brittany says she knows, but they need to have respect for her like she does for them. In Ariana’s interview, she says she wishes Brittany could just be mad at Jax, since he created the problem. She’s married to this guy, so she married the problem. Ariana says, if not for Brittany, she doesn’t know how many friends Jax would have. Brittany thinks everyone, except for Tom, and in her interview, Ariana says, she’s not friends with Jax now.

Katie and Schwartz go to lunch, and he tells her about the one year anniversary party. It’s special night; more than she knows. They have the opportunity to parlay the initial profits into an expansion, or they can take the check, and Lisa will create a separate entity. Katie says, parlay. In Katie’s interview, she says she feels like they’ve come a long way. She feels like they’re a team. She doesn’t want to tell him what to do, but thinks he knows. He says he loves her. Katie looks at her phone, and wonders, what the hell happened? Brittany texted and said Ariana let her know that the pool party was Katie’s idea in the first place. Schwartz says, propaganda, and Katie says, she got the same story from Lala. It’s not cool. Katie calls Brittany, getting all teary. Brittany says she’s not blaming Katie. She just said it happened because of Katie. Katie says, no one is saying that. Brittany says Katie rage texts all the time, and should go easy on Jax. Schwartz says Katie took accountability, and she’s being an idiot. Katie hangs up, and says, go easy on Jax? It’s 150% his fault.

Everything is set up at Jax and Brittany’s, including the giant slide. Jax comes in, and Brittany says he looks muscular. He says, that’s what happens when you go to the gym three times a day. He’s going through crap in his head, and says things he doesn’t mean, so instead he likes to go to the gym. Brittany says Tom still hasn’t apologized, and Katie isn’t coming. Jax says, and it’s his fault. Everything he’s done, they’ve done, but the spotlight is on him. He told Brittany, do not trust these people.

Tom and Ariana get ready. Tom makes James an unleaded cocktail. Katie tells them about the text she got from Brittany, saying the pool party was all her idea, and go easy on Jax about the rage texts, since she does it too. Tom says she texts at 3 am, and isn’t manipulative. Schwartz says he’s staying out of it. People start to arrive. There’s a tent in the backyard, along with a hookah, and James in the DJ booth. Tom thanks everyone for coming, and Ariana says, let’s get wasted.

Brit cooks, while crickets chirp. A lone rubber ducky floats in the pool. Jax says they only have eight people coming, but they’re the ones he wants there. Brett, Lala, Stassi, and Beau arrive. In Charli’s interview, she says, Tom and Ariana’s pool party is lit. Who wants to be at Jax’s retirement party anyway? He’s closer to her dad’s age than hers. Katie says, Dayna has two guys, and Dayna says, and half the commitment. She still doesn’t have a whole man. Brett says Max texted him, and said he felt super bummed out and betrayed. He doesn’t want to act like it’s okay anymore. He’s staying home. Brett says he’s always been bro’s before ho’s. In Stassi’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if Brett is a poet, a philosopher, or a d-bag. Brett says all they did was make out, and it’s like World War II. Jax informs Brett hat he used to put his d*ck in anything that moved.

Dayna tells Ariana that she’s hot. Someone should screw and love her, and she’s not doing either. Katie says, that’s healthy, natural, and normal. Ariana says, there are a ton of other dudes and ladies out there. Carter thanks Ariana for having them, and Ariana asks if they’re back together. Kristen says, they’re dating. Kristen says she got a text that Stassi is making fun of their party, and Ariana says, Regina George. Stassi is a snob ass bitch. Kristen says they were making fun at Tom and Ariana not having furniture. Ariana says if she hears anyone talking sh*t about her house, she’ll clock them.

Tom asks Schwartz what he thinks about Lisa’s proposal. Schwartz says, it’s tempting to just take the check. In Tom’s interview, he says, the bigger the venture, the more potential for failure. Schwartz says he poured his heart and soul into this place, and Tom says Schwartz is his effing boy. Schwartz wants it to be this way until the day they die. James comes in, and Tom thanks him. James says it keeps him busy, and that’s a good thing to be. Tom says James has come a long way. Monday. TomTom is having its one year anniversary party. Could he possibly DJ? James says, he’d 100% love to. Tom says James being humble pie is sexy. Schwartz likes it when James is cocky too. A little part of him misses the a-hole. Katie says, WTF? James has shown a vulnerability she hasn’t seen, and didn’t think he would ever show. He’s shown growth. She wanted to rip his head off, and put it in the paper shredder. James says he’s sorry, and they hug it out. James says he hasn’t felt this good in a minute.

Stassi tells Jax, they need to talk. She feels like with what he’s doing texting people, from the outside, it looks like he’s losing his mind. He says, he is. She asks, why? and he says he doesn’t know. In his interview, he says he’s sprained his brain. When you sprain your ankle, you don’t walk on it. That’s the way the brain works. He tells Stassi, on paper, it looks like he hit the lottery, but he’s not happy. He’s not allowing himself to have a good time. Stassi says, it’s not like he’s an a-hole once a year; he’s an a-hole all the time. He says he has downtime now, and wonders if he did the right thing. What if his wife thinks he can’t make her happy? Stassi says, she is happy, and he says, it’s a lot of pressure. Stassi says, he wants to sabotage his relationship; it’s a pattern he has. Jax says, how he hurt people used to be cheating. He’d take it out on someone else. She says he has to allow the struggle, feelings, emotions, and mental health, but he has control over how he treats people. He says he’s afraid he’s going to take it out on Brittany.

Next week, the season finale, TomTom’s anniversary party, SUR’s group photo, Lisa tells Jax to take care of his wife, Max says Dayna is on a high horse, Stassi says the Witches of WeHo is done-o, and Tom tells Jax not to act like he has an effing hall pass.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Kelly gives Lushion a huge kiss, and Carl thinks that’s his cue to say goodbye. Lushion says, it’s not a cue. Carl tells Kelly that he never wants to see her under these circumstances again, and she guarantees he won’t. He says he’ll say goodbye then; awkward. Lushion says, nothing is awkward, and Kelly asks if she can go now. Carl says, yes; they’re processing her. She tells him that she’d love to have him for dinner, and he says, great. She says she’ll call him, and thanks them both again. Carl leaves, and Lushion says, what was that? Kelly says she was just happy, and he says, good. She says, he didn’t think… and he says, it was kind of personal. She says she wasn’t coming on to him; she was just happy. She’s sorry he took it the wrong way. He says they can never bring this up again, and she says she wasn’t trying to make a pass at him; she was just happy.

Lushion says, they’re clear? and Kelly says, crystal. Eddie is standing there, filming with his phone, and says he’s got it on camera, crystal clear; full HD. Lushion says, give him the damn phone, or he’ll take it. Eddie says, it looks like Lushion took lip service, and Lushion makes a grab for the phone, but Eddie keeps it out of his grasp. Eddie says, it’s going to Lushion’s wife, and Kelly suggests they tell her themselves. Eddie says, why not wait until he adds music? Kelly walks past her cell, and Eddie asks where she’s going. She says, home. Even with everything Eddie tried, she’s still going home. He asks how hell that happened, and she says wouldn’t he like to know? What the devil meant for evil, God turned into good. He says there she goes with the God stuff again. Has she ever heard of, thou shalt not kill? Enjoy her freedom. It’s the last couple days. Lushion and Kelly walk off, and Eddie calls someone, and says he has a video to edit.

Larry approaches Eddie, who asks if he sees something he likes. Larry says he just needs the $50K Eddie took from him. It’s all fun and games, but this isn’t a game. Does Eddie want to play with him? Eddie asks what Larry is referring to. He didn’t take $50K. Larry says Eddie lied to him; he’d said everything was taken care of. Eddie says he has no idea what Larry is talking about, and Larry says he expects Eddie to reimburse him within 24 hours. Eddie says, keep dreaming; that ain’t gonna happen. Larry says he’s warning Eddie, and Eddie says he’s telling Larry, dream on. Larry says Eddie took money from some very powerful people, who will have no problem giving Eddie more pain and suffering than Larry ever could. It’s his funeral. Eddie says he wants a 21 gun salute, and Larry says, duly noted. Larry calls someone to come to the office; $50K is at issue. Eddie asks if that’s supposed to make him tremble, and Larry says, it’s not rocket science. Eddie says, see him soon, and hold his breath about the $50K.

Bennet (that’s his name, right?) has come home for lunch, and compliments Tanya’s cooling. She thinks he’s just trying to make her feel better, and wonders why Randal keeps throwing things out. It’s weird, right? Bennet tells her not to worry about Randal, and she says, he’s a dork. He just stays home; what does he do? He asks why she wants to know, and she says she’s just curious. He asks if Randal is still bothering her, and she says, no. She asks if Bennet did something, and he says he has to get back to the station. He’ll be home by 5. She thanks him for having lunch with her. She says she wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to leave her. She’s been thinking about calling her parents. They said she could come home. She knows how hard it is on him. He says he doesn’t want to hear about this. He’ll be home for dinner, and if anyone comes to the door, let him know. She says, he’s not going to do anything, is he? She doesn’t want him in trouble. He knows his temper. He says he’s fine. He just wants to know.

Bennet leaves the house, and Randal asks if they can talk a second. He wants to apologize for talking to Bennet’s wife. He thinks they got off on the wrong foot, and he’s really sorry. Bennet says, okay, and Randal asks if Bennet saw anybody come in his house. It was vandalized. Bennet says he didn’t see anyone, and Randal asks if it doesn’t bother him. He told Bennet that his house was just vandalized, and he didn’t say, sorry. Bennet says he really is; it’s terrible. He asks when Randal goes to work, and Randal says, whenever he wants to; why? Bennet says he can keep an eye on Randal’s house. Randal says he’s there all the time, and Bennet says, then how did it happen? Randal says he was seeing a patient. Bennet says, Randal has patients? and Randal says he does. He can help Bennet’s wife. Bennet says they’re good. Are they doing this again? Randal just apologized. Randal asks when Bennet gets back, and Bennet says Randal doesn’t want to test him. Randal says he’s not, and Bennet says he can be a demon from hell, and will protect everything he loves. Randal asks if that’s any way for a firefighter to talk, but Bennet says he’s talking as a former marine. He drives off. Randal stands there for a moment, and goes back inside.

Alex sits at the bar. Johnny joins her, and asks, who was that guy? She says, nobody to be concerned about. Johnny says, it seemed like he knew her, and she says, he’s her neighbor. Johnny says, be sure he doesn’t come around, and Alex says, he won’t if he knows what’s good for him. She needs another drink. He says, coffee for her. She needs to sober up. She says he’s ruining this party, but he tells her that he doesn’t want her to be sick in his bed later. She says he has to understand. She’s been locked in a house playing mommy for she doesn’t know how many years. She’s so tired of it. She wants to get loose, dance, do bad karaoke, and drink. Johnny says, drink coffee. She says, that’s a mom’s drink, and he says, there are a lot of hot moms out there; drink up. He wants her to feel good.

Johnny says it looks like Alex has more company. He’ll leave that to her. Esperanza comes in with Steven, and Alex says, Esperanza wants to ride the bull, but Esperanza says, no. Alex tells Steven, it’s really fun, but he says he’s good. It’s good to see her. She says, it’s good to see him too. Wait a minute. They’re together? Steven asks what she’s drinking, and she says, anything she can get her hands on, but now she needs coffee. Steven says he’ll be at the bar. Johnny tells Steven, if he’s not drinking, he’s got to wait outside. Steven asks if Johnny is sure about that, and opens his jacket, flashing his badge. Johnny says, his apologies. Steven is good to go.

Esperanza sees Alex is drinking coffee; that’s good. Alex asks, what’s up? and Esperanza says Alex is leaving right now. Alex says she’s not going anywhere. She doesn’t want that life anymore. She needs to be free. Esperanza says Alex’s son wasn’t breathing; remember him? She shows Alex a picture on her phone, and Alex looks at it absently. Esperanza wonders if Alex isn’t going to ask how he is, and Alex asks if he’s okay. Esperanza says, he’s fine. He was just sleeping, but Marcie was at Alex’s house, and put him on his stomach. Alex says, dumb bitch, and Esperanza says, Alex is his mom. Alex says, so she’s the dumb bitch now? Esperanza says her son needs her, but Alex says, he needs Brad. Her kids deserve better than her. Esperanza wonders where this is coming from, and asks if Alex is embarrassed about the online thing. Alex says she’s not embarrassed. She doesn’t want that life anymore. How hard is it to comprendé? Esperanza says, so she’s just going to walk away from her kids, and live in a bar with a guy she doesn’t know? She doesn’t know anything about him. Alex knows he’s not Brad, and she’s ready to be a free spirit. Esperanza says she doesn’t care that Brad and Marcie are with her kids? She can explain to the kids why she’s leaving Brad. This is wrong, but at least let them know. She owes them that. Alex says, okay. She has to pack anyway. She tells Johnny that she’ll be right back. She has to pick up some things. He says he’ll be waiting for her.

Bennet goes to the police station, and tells Rick, he’d like to file a report. His neighbor is harassing his wife. He’s constantly harassing her, and going to the house when Bennet isn’t there, and knocking on the door. Rick asks if Bennet had told him to stop, and Bennet says he has, and he won’t. Rick asks his name, and Bennet says, Randal Holmes. Rick says, oh, and Bennet asks if Rick knows him. Rick says, they all know him. It’s something Randal does; it’s not the first complaint. Rick leaves to get the paperwork, and Eddie comes along. Bennet says he remembers Eddie. He’s the officer who helped with his wife. Eddie asks if he’s been keeping his bitch quiet, and Bennet says, his wife’s not a bitch. Eddie says, he’s one of those guys who still respects his woman. What’s he here for? Bennet says he’s filing a report, and Rick comes back with the paperwork. Eddie asks, on who? and Rick says Randal is harassing Bennet’s wife. Eddie says, he’s up to that again? He’ll take care of it. Rick gives Eddie the papers, and leaves. Eddie suggests Bennet skip the paperwork, and he’ll put a bullet in Randal’s head. Bennet says, this isn’t working, and Eddie says he can help out in a major way; all of Bennet’s problems will go away. Bennet says, thanks, but that’s sick. Eddie says, have it his way, and Bennet leaves. Eddie says, dumb ass, and walks away singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.

Carl goes to Larry’s office. Larry says he asked Carl to come to discuss things. This firm needs him. Carl says, really? and Larry asks if Carl is impressed by the firm. Carl says, it’s nice, He’s familiar with their reputation, and hears they’re incredible. Larry asks how he’d like to work there. He can start at $250K, and they charge $500 an hour. Carl is a rock star. Carl appreciates it, and Larry says he’s impressed with the Kelly Isaacs case; how did Carl do it? Carl says he’s persuasive, and Larry says, clearly. Carl says Larry represents his opponent, and he shouldn’t tell him. Larry asks, why? He wants Carl on his team, and doesn’t want to be against him. It will be their little secret. Carl says he can’t do that, and Larry asks if he’s nervous. Carl says, no, and Larry says he spoke to Carl’s law professors, and they said he was a pretty average student. Carl says, he was great, and Larry says he’ll stop the bullsh*t.  He didn’t bring Carl in to offer him a job, but he’s giving Carl a chance. Carl says, for what? and Larry says, tell him how and where he got the information. Carl says he can’t, and Larry says he can and will ruin Carl’s name. He’ll call the bar and tell them Carl made illegal charges. Carl says he didn’t do anything illegal, but Larry begs to differ. Carl says he’s leaving, and Larry says, if Carl walks out, he has no hope for a future law practice. Carl says, have a good one, and Larry says, unfortunate. Carl leaves, and Larry says, another one bites the dust.

Randal takes out a piece of garbage while Tanya is taking out her garbage. Randal says, hi, and she tells him to talk to her. He asks if she doesn’t think it’s weird they’re both out at the same time. She says, don’t talk to her, and he says, okay; he won’t. He wanders across the street, and I say, ugh, out loud. He looks in the garbage, and sees a can of spray paint. He takes it, and goes back home. He compares the color with what’s sprayed on his wall, and storms back out, leaving the can. He stomps across the street, rolling up his sleeves. I have to laugh at that, since he’s like a cartoon. Tanya says she’s going to call her husband if Randal doesn’t leave her alone. He says, so she paints. Has she seen anyone go into his house? She says, no, but he thinks she did. He stands in her doorway, and she tells him, move away or she’ll scream. He says she’s good at screaming, and she says, move. He asks, who was it? Who was good at screaming in her household? Her father, who killed her dog, or her sister? She says she doesn’t have a sister, and he says, somebody is on their meds today. She says her husband will be home soon. He doesn’t like Randal, and Randal needs to be careful of his temper. Randal asks if her husband has temper enough to break in and vandalize his house. She tells him, move away from her door, but he leans further in. He says she can’t get pregnant on her meds. She goes past him, onto the lawn, and starts screaming. Natalie sees, and runs out. Marcie looks out, and sees Randal gesturing and Tanya screaming. Natalie tells Randal to get his ass away from that woman, and he tells her to get in her own damn house. He thought they didn’t come out when they hear stuff. She tells Randal, leave that woman alone. Something bad is going to happen to him. He asks if she’s threatening him, and she says, no, but she’s praying she’ll be there when it happens. She’s calling Tanya’s husband. He’s big, and she can’t wait to see him kick Randal’s ass. Randal makes fun of her, and she grabs a huge tree branch and starts whacking him with it. He says he’ll call the police, but she says she doesn’t care, and chases him back into his house.

Natalie goes to Tanya’s house, and asks if she’s all right. Tanya says, Randal is just being his usual rude self. Natalie says, don’t let him bother her. Just grab a branch, and whack his ass out, then call her. Tanya thanks Natalie for not judging her. She knows her husband told Natalie about her condition. Natalie says he did. Just take her meds and keep going. If Tanya needs her, she’s right there.

Marcie meets Natalie outside, and asks, what about Randal? Natalie says, he was after Tanya. She asks if Marcie is watching the baby, and Marcie says, her and Brad. Natalie says, you’re not supposed to put a baby on their stomach, and Marcie says she didn’t know. Natalie asks if she’s sure, and Marcie asks what she’s saying. Natalie says Marcie knows you’re not supposed to do that, but Marcie insists she didn’t know. She would never hurt the baby; he’s beautiful. Natalie tells her, call if she needs anything. Marcie asks if Natalie thinks Alex isn’t coming back, but Natalie doesn’t know.

Marcie goes back in the house, and Brad comes downstairs. He asks if he heard screaming (note to self: never rely on Brad in an emergency), and Marcie says, it was the neighbor across the street. He asks if she’s okay, and Marcie says, Randal was harassing her. He asks if he should check on her, but she says Natalie already did. Alex rolls in, with Esperanza and Steven, and Brad asks where she’s been. She says she’s here to get her stuff, and Esperanza says, and talk to the kids. Alex repeats, and talk to her kids. Brad asks if she’s drunk; she smells like alcohol. Alex says, alcohol, and probably sex. She’s sure they understand. Back the hell up then, and she’ll be gone in a minute. Brad says, fine. He’s taking the house. She says, fine with her. He can have this boring, piece of sh*t, cookie-cutter bullsh*t. He says he’s taking full custody of the kids, and she says, thank you. It’s perfect for all of them. She heads for the liquor cabinet, telling Steven, excuse me, sir. Steven grabs her before she can grab the liquor. Brad says the kids can’t see her like this. She needs to clean herself up. Alex says Brad needs to back off. She starts to go upstairs, but Brad stops her. She says she tried, and flounces out the door. Esperanza tries to catch her, but she’s halfway down the block, and says, I’m out, bitches. She strides down the street. Esperanza tells Steven, she needs to come to her senses, but he says there’s nothing they can do for her. Alex bangs on Randal’s door, and he says, what the hell? She tells him that she needs a drink, and walks past him into the house. Everyone is like, what?

Steven tells Esperanza that Alex will be fine, and steers her back to the car. Randal asks Alex, what the hell is wrong with her? and she asks where the booze is. She finds some, and asks, what the hell happened in here? She laughs, and he says, get the hell out. She says let her finish her drink. She drains the glass, and he says, get the hell out of his house. She says, gladly, and unzips his pants. He says, get the hell… out of… his house…

While Natalie is cleaning up, Eddie walks into her house. She grabs a knife, and says, did he just walk in the door? He says, it was unlocked, and she asks if he’s lost his mind. He says, a while ago. She asks what makes him think he can walk into somebody’s house, and he says, white MF’ing privilege. He can do what he wants. She tells him, get the hell out of her house right now. He says the last time she came at him with a knife, he tazed her ass. He shows her the screen on his phone, and says, look.

Next time, Ian tells Larry that he’s trying to protect the firm, Eddie asks Randal what’s wrong with him, and Eddie tells Natalie to check on what’s going on.

🌇 Later Than Late…

Since I have to get some of that pesky sleep, see you at the same time tomorrow, but earlier. Meanwhile, stay busy, stay active, but don’t stay around too many people yet.

May 8, 2020 – Which Way Did They Go, Today’s GH, Get Well Soon, Tyler’s Royals, Happy 10th, Hello Elijah, Golden Girl, Chef Spat, BH Dish, Nosy Husband, No Charm, Virtual Andy, Quotes of Eight & Could Be Worse


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Shahs of Sunset

Your guess is as good as mine as to what happened here. Part one of the Reunion was supposed to air at 9 pm, but somehow it turned into The Notebook. I checked everywhere – Bravo’s site, Twitter, Facebook, Google – nothing. I saw the question being posed on the Shahs Facebook page, but no one answered. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I even checked through the entire next week of the digital guide, and nada. Is there a lawsuit pending? As soon as I find out what the blip is going on, I’ll let you know.

It was probably just as well, since I have a sick child dog who had to stay at the hospital tonight, and I’m just a wee bit distracted. I poured an entire pot of tea though, for your entertainment pleasure.

Casey-December14-2013 (3)

My Little Man

🏥 Today, General Hospital’s Flashback Friday was the episode where Jordan and Curtis got married on The Haunted Star. Then found Kiki’s body in their wedding night stateroom. And they still haven’t gone on their honeymoon.

🤕 At Least He Didn’t Lose His Head This Time…

I love Joey Pants! Wishing him a smooth recovery.

👑 Two Degrees Of Royalty…

Along with Josh Altman giving his two cents.

👒 I Can See the Resemblance…

But does she still have that nutcracker?

🏝 Hawaiian (Re)Hash…

No earth shattering revelations.

👶🏽 A Distant Meeting…

GG’s baby Elijah makes his quarantine debut with the cast.

And takes a stroll(er).

💃🏽 Looking Good As Gold…

TBH, I kind of forgot about her.

🍽 Dinnerware Debate…

If you’re back is to the rack, you’re under attack.

💋 Joanna Explains It Not At All…

I never heard someone use so many words to say they weren’t talking about something. Note to Joanna: I can’t comment on that is sufficient.

👉 Stay Out Of Women’s Business…

But if it’s a reality show, and the reality is, Denise’s husband wants to get involved with her issues, what’s the problem?

🍹 Methinks He’s Thirsty…

I barely remember this dude, and if he hadn’t brought it up, I wouldn’t have remembered this incident at all.

🖥 Virtual Reality…

Andy dishes on the VPR reunion.

🦥 Pandemics Make Strange Bedfellows…

It’s bigger than the Teddy Bear’s Picnic.

🗿 Quotes of the Week

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.Theodore Roosevelt

Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. – Groucho Marx

The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need tomorrow. – Robert Tew

It’s a baby, not a weedwhacker. – Danny (Gary Valentine), King of Queens, when Doug wants to borrow his baby.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. – Margaret Mead

It is easier to change a man’s religion than to change his diet.Margaret Mead

We are continually faced with great opportunities which are brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems. – Margaret Mead

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.Maya Angelou

🍾 Everybody’s Not Working For the Weekend…

I hope you’re making the most of any new free time you have, and changing it up on the weekend. Remember…