Category Archives: soap opera

April 2, 2020 – Doc Visits Cyrus, Soap Changes, NYC Minus Bethenny, Artistic Chefs, Chef Quote, Juicy Joe Passes the Time, Cabaret Drama & Almost Two


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I’ve consistently missed the beginning of the show every day this week, so why end the week any differently? <sigh> Sonny is taking Mike for a walk in the hallway, Molly has shown up to confront Jordan about TJ, and Doc pays Cyrus a visit.

On the phone Robert says, there’s nothing to be happy about, but the law doesn’t give them many choices. Laura says, that didn’t sound good, and he says, the information is going to be sent to Cyrus’s lawyers, who will ask for a writ of habeas corpus. Then a judge will look at it, and Cyrus walks. Laura says, that’s completely unacceptable. She won’t have that monster roaming free on the streets of Port Charles. He asks how she plans to stop him, and she says, watch her.

Sonny tells Mike, he’s got him, and Carly says they can come back. Brando says he just wanted to thank Mike for the summer at the track. He was ten years old, and obsessed with horses. Mike told him it ran in the family. Carly says, that sounds like Mike, and Mike says, Brando. Glady’s son. He remembers. Is Brando passing through? Carly says, Sonny is helping Brando open a garage in Port Charles. Mike says, good, and Sonny says, Brando is a nice guy. Brando says it was nice of Mike, and Mike says he appreciates him stopping by. He’s a little tired, so can Brando come by again some other time? Brando says he’d like that, and Carly tells Mike to get some rest. They’ll be there. Sonny walks Mike back to his room, and says it was a nice surprise visit. Mike says he doesn’t know Brando.

Curtis gets that Molly is upset, but it’s out of their hands. It’s time to accept it’s out of hers. TJ is a grown man, and taking time for himself. If the situations were reversed, TJ would respect her privacy. Molly says she’d make sure someone got a message to TJ, and not completely shut him out. Curtis says they don’t like how TJ is handling it, but it’s time they were all patient. She says she’s done being patient. TJ completely ghosted her, and is ignoring her texts and calls. She knows he’s disappointed, but this is vindictive and mean. Jordan says they don’t know where he is, and Molly says TJ is responding to Jordan, and asks if she’ll give him a message. She’s tired of the cold shoulder. They’re better than this, and they need to talk. Jordan says she’ll give TJ a message, but can’t guarantee when he’ll get back to Molly. Molly says Jordan knows how much she loves TJ, and Jordan says, she does, but right now, love isn’t enough. Molly says she’ll give TJ 24 hours, and then she’ll start a search herself. She’ll get Sam and Spinelli to help, and she’ll take out an ad in The Invader; have you seen this man? Jordan tells her to stop acting like a child.

On the phone, Laura tells someone she wants it as soon as possible. Robert asks if she’s going to keep him in suspense, or tell him. She says she’ll tell him when the time is right, and he says he hates being blindsided. She says Mac is out following leads on the warehouse and waterfront shootings, hoping they find something that ties it into Cyrus. Robert says, it’s more likely they won’t be able to, and Laura saysm the goal is to keep Cyrus locked up long enough to find evidence to make the charges stick. He says, suppose she succeeds? They know Cyrus can run his operation from behind bars. Laura says she told him that she wants to keep Cyrus locked up, but not in Pentenville.

Cyrus says, they brought in a shrink to get inside his head? Let him help Doc. No, he didn’t like to pull the wings off of flies. Doc says, but he did it anyway? Cyrus says they both know that’s not what he means, and Doc asks, what does he mean? Cyrus asks if this is how it’s going to go, and Doc says Cyrus’s first impulse was to insist he didn’t do something he thought Doc might ask about. Why that specific question? Cyrus says it’s what people like him ask, and Doc says, people like him; psychiatrists? Cyrus says, no, Methodists. I see we have another comedian behind bars. Doc says he’s interviewed many criminals like Cyrus, and Cyrus says, everyone wants to see what makes him tick. Why is that? Doc says he read Cyrus’s file. Cyrus says, and Doc has a fascination with him. Doc says, not necessarily fascination, and Cyrus says, but at least a healthy interest. He’s sure Doc has somewhere else he could be, but here he is. Doc says Cyrus’s second assessment was correct; an interest, not a fascination. Doc says he’s interviewed a lot like of men like Cyrus, and Cyrus says, but Doc has never met anyone like him.

Sam tells Jason that Spinelli followed Delores to her rendezvous. She’s having an affair with a councilmen, but they caught Spinelli taking pictures. Jason asks if it was in a hotel or motel, and Sam says, in the back of her car. Not the most discreet, but Delores threatened to arrest and charge Spinelli if he didn’t keep her secret. This also made it worse for Sam. Now Delores is determined to find something that will get her ass thrown back Pentenville. Jason says it’s time to stop looking for a way out; she was lucky she wasn’t thrown back in. She says her mom said the same thing, and he says she’s got to listen. If she thinks waiting is bad, it will be worse if she has to finish the rest of her sentence back in prison. Sam says they won’t see each other for a year and half. Is that what he wants? He says, no, but that’s what has to happen to keep her out of prison.

Mike tells Sonny, they’re trying to get one over on him, pretending they’re family. He needs Sonny to do something. Tell his boss that he needs to have security keep an eye on those two. Whoever they are, they’re up to no good.

Brando asks Carly if Mike is always like that, and she says, pretty much. She’s glad Mike recognized him, and he says, him too. That summer at the track is a good memory. She says, as Mike slips away, it’s important to remember the man he was. He says, Sonny is patient with him, and seems devoted. She says, when Mike was first diagnosed, Sonny worried that he couldn’t handle it, and couldn’t do what Mike needed. She never had any doubt. Family is everything to Sonny.

Molly says, it’s not being childish to want answers, but Jordan say she’s behaving like brat. Because TJ isn’t talking to her, she wants to call TV stations. She needs to get over it. She doesn’t want to see that her actions have consequences. She broke TJ’s heart, and he doesn’t want to be with her.

Doc tells Cyrus, that’s an intriguing statement. Does Cyrus think he’s more dangerous than other prisoners? Cyrus asks if that’s what Doc would like him to think, and Doc says he wants to know what Cyrus thinks. Is he more dangerous, or more of a threat? Cyrus tells Doc, he said he was more interesting, and Doc says, so he’s not dangerous? Cyrus says, he didn’t say that. Doc writes something, and Cyrus asks if Doc thinks he’s got him figured out. Doc says he’s documenting Cyrus’s veiled threat. When he asked if Cyrus was more dangerous, he refused to confirm it. Cyrus says, Doc thinks that’s a threat? and Doc says, a veiled one. It’s like when someone says, nice car. It would be a shame if something happened to it. Cyrus says, if he threatens Doc, he’ll know it. Cyrus wonders if he can ask Doc a question, and Doc says, of course (🍷); ask away. He asks if Doc could be perceiving an innocuous statement as a threat because of a manifestation of his own insecurities. Doc says, touché. He bets Cyrus is an excellent chess player. Cyrus says he never loses. Doc says, it’s been insightful, and thanks him. Cyrus says Doc never told him why he’s there. Doc says he’s doing a study about men behind bars, specifically solitary confinement. He’s been speaking to a lot prisoners. Cyrus has been helpful. Cyrus says, Doc’s name is Collins? Doc says, it’s a common name, but Cyrus probably recognizes it because his wife is the mayor. Cyrus says, Laura. She’s the reason he’s in solitary. Doc says, is she? Cyrus says, be sure to send his regards, and Doc leaves.

Trina tells Ava, after her dad died, Jordan went back over the files, and says her dad faked evidence. She told the Justice Department, and they’re going to let Cyrus out of prison. Ava says, that’s unlikely; it would be a major reversal. Trina says she doesn’t know the legal term, but her father is dead, and Cyrus is going to be out. How is that justice? The media is going to trash her dad, when he’s not a bad cop. Her father was a good man. Ava says she didn’t have a chance to know him, but from what Trina has said, she bets there’s only one person whose opinion mattered to him – Trina’s.

Jason takes Sam’s hands. He says it doesn’t matter how much they hate this. What’s important is she’s free, and home safe with the kids. She says, of course (🍷) it’s important, but so is finding a way to be together. He asks if it’s worth the risk? Her chance of going back to prison is worse than ever, especially now. She asks, what’s going on? and he says, Cyrus is attacking Sonny on all fronts. Out here, he can make sure she’s protected, but if she goes back, she’ll be in the middle of a war zone. Is Pentenville a co-ed prison?

Sam says she thought Sonny was handling Cyrus, and Jason says he’s working on it. It’s tough. Cyrus is powerful, and has a lot of people. Sam asks what that means, and he says, Sonny and Cyrus handle things differently. There are things Sonny won’t do that cross the line, and there’s no line Cyrus won’t cross. No one is off limits. Sam says she knows. He kidnapped Cameron and Trina, and used them as leverage. He says, they weren’t the only ones. Cyrus has TJ Ashford.  

Brando tells Carly, he mostly focused on the horses, but he got the impression that Mike and Sonny weren’t close. Mike was sorry for that. Carly says, if Mike hadn’t gotten sick, Sonny would have been okay with the distance. They both would have, but with Alzheimer’s, the distance isn’t up to them. You have to fight for every single moment. Brando says he doesn’t think he could do it, and Carly prays he never had to find out what it’s like. Sonny wanted to make peace with Mike before he slips away. Brando says, as much as he wasn’t happy at first about them keeping him there, he has to admit, it’s been good to connect with family. Carly says they enjoy having him there, even though they’re taking time to get to know him. Brando needs to get back to the shop, and Carly says she’s good. He leaves, and someone with very LOUD shoes goes by. Sonny comes back, and says he just left his dad. Mike doesn’t know who Brando is.

Ava tells Trina, nothing and no one can tarnish the love her father had for her. He’s her hero, and that’s all that matters. In a way, Taggert is Ava’s hero too. Trina says Ava didn’t know him, but Ava says she knows Trina. Her father saved her. He put his love for her above everything else, even his own life. That’s the true test of a hero and parent, putting everything aside for their child. Trina wishes there had been some other way, and Ava says she knows how important it is for Trina to keep her father on a pedestal. Trina says she didn’t put him there; it’s just where he always was. He was always a hero to her.

Molly tells Jordan, her not wanting to get married to anyone has nothing to do with how much she loves TJ. Jordan says, maybe not, but TJ gave her his heart and life, and she threw it back in his face. He got the message. She made a choice that served her, and didn’t care about TJ’s feelings. Molly says, that’s not true, and Jordan says Molly could have fooled her. Molly says Jordan made her point, and Jordan says, has she? Before Molly launches a search, remember TJ didn’t leave; she pushed him away. Molly says she’s got it. She never expected to break up with TJ, and she sure didn’t expect him do it through his mother. She leaves, and Jordan leans against the door. She tells Curtis, she had to do it. She had to stop Molly from searching. Curtis says, it will be okay, and she says she prays it worked.

Sonny tells Carly, his dad was scared. He thought Brando was going to hurt him. He wants Sonny to tell his bosses to beef up security. Carly says she’s so sorry, and Sonny says he’s got to go tell his dad that his boss is getting more men. He laughs, and she asks if there’s anything she can do to help? He says she’s done a lot already, and thanks her.

There’s a knock at the garage door, and Brando opens it to Molly. He says they’re closed, and she says, of course (🍷). It’s that kind of day. She guesses she’ll have to call a tow. She drives a hybrid, since it’s better for the environment. He asks what she hit, and she says, nothing; she went over a curb. The undercarriage is making a grating noise, and she doesn’t want to wreck the engine. He asks if there was any chance she was drinking, and she says she wishes; she’s totally sober. He asks if any other cars were involved, and if she needs the police, but she says it was just her. Sorry to bother him. She should have called a tow to begin with since the garage was closed. He says, on second thought, he’ll check it out.

Laura asks how it went, and Doc tells her, as expected. Cyrus is a narcissist. He made a subtle, veiled threat when his pride was hurt. He took exception to Doc minimizing how dangerous he was. She asks if they can lock him up, and Doc says, he’s sane. Under ordinary circumstances, he’d be opposed to that, but he has no problem recommending that he be moved to a psychological facility under medical supervision. Robert comes in and asks if that’s the plan. Laura asks how much he heard, and he says, enough to know it’s not going to work. Laura says she can have Cyrus transferred to Ferncliff, and Robert asks, for how long? She says they can keep him long enough for an extensive evaluation. Long enough to come up with a fresh case against him. Robert says Cyrus’s lawyers are going to take one look, and see it’s a ploy to keep Cyrus behind bars. Laura says she’ll argue that she wants him to get the care he needs. Robert says, and Doc will argue that it’s in his best interest. Doc says, exactly, and Laura says she’s not above doing what she has to, to keep Cyrus off the street, including having him committed. Robert says, it’s not going to work.

Mike recognizes Sonny, and asks, what took so long? Sonny apologizes, and Mike says, it’s all right; Sonny is there now. He hates hospitals. Can Sonny get him out? He just wants to go home. Sonny says, as soon as the doctors say it’s okay, he’ll take Mike back to Turning Woods. He remembers Turning Woods, right? Mike says, it’s a great place, but after that they get to go home, right? He doesn’t want to be around these people anymore; it doesn’t feel right. Sonny tells him to rest, and Mike says he’s tired. Sonny says, take a break. Close his eyes, and don’t worry. They’ll be waiting. Mike takes Sonny’s hands, and says, everything is going be all right. Sonny will see when they get back Bensonhurst; it will be all right. Mike lies down, closes his eyes, and drifts off.

Sonny goes back out, and Carly asks how Mike is doing. Sonny doesn’t know, and tells her to go home; he’s got to stay tonight. She says she knows how hard it is when Mike doesn’t recognize him, but Sonny says, he did. He knew Sonny’s name, the whole thing; he was great. Sonny sits down, and says, his dad wanted him to take him back to Bensonhurst. He looked Sonny in the eye, and he hasn’t done that in days. He said all he wants to do is go home.

Brando tells Molly, it’s not bad. It just needs some front end work. She asks if she should take it to the dealership, and he says, it’s up to her. She says he was nice enough to take a look, and she’d rather give him the business, assuming he can do the repair. He says, sure, and she says he doesn’t sound enthusiastic. He says he’s happy for the business, but she didn’t chose to come there, and he wasn’t recommend. She came out of desperation, and he doesn’t want to take advantage of that.

Ava says, any time Trina wants to talk, or even if she doesn’t, she’s available. Right now though, she’d like Trina to do something for her. Trina says, name it, and Ava says, call her mother. Let her know she’s safe. Ava knows what it’s like to worry about a daughter, no matter how angry she is. Trina takes out her phone, and calls. Ava gives her privacy.

Curtis tells Jordan, Molly will get over it, but Jordan says she can’t get over the look on Molly’s face. He says, when this is over, Molly will know Jordan was trying to protect her, and understand that Jordan loves her. She says here’s hoping it worked. Not just for Molly. Everyone needs to believe TJ is just dealing with rejection and disappeared. Curtis says, it makes sense, and she says she has to break Molly’s heart and destroy the reputations of the finest agents she’s ever met to make sure Cyrus and his drug dealing are off the streets.

Brando tells Molly, there’s no website yet; he just opened. She asks if it was a surprise, and he says he didn’t plan on opening a garage, not in Port Charles anyway. Long story. She says she loves them; the more convoluted, the better. He asks if she’s a novelist, and she says she’s a published author. She was sixteen at the time. He says, that’s even more impressive, and she says, it was a romance novel. Looking back, it was arrogant to think she could write about life and love, when she knew nothing. He asks if she still writes, but she says, not any more. Now she’s a law student. He says, so if she doesn’t like the repair, she’ll sue him. She asks if he can repair it, and he says he can. She says, at a fair price? and he says, absolutely. She says she’ll have no grounds. He says not to act grateful yet. He hasn’t drawn up the estimate. She says, it’s the perfect rotten end of a perfectly rotten day.

Trina tells Ava, her mom was glad she checked in, and Ava says she’s sure Portia would like to keep Trina at home, and not let Trina out of her sight. Trina says, normally, she’d hate that, but now, it’s not so bad. All of it is going to be coming out; the evidence her dad supposedly planted. It will be all over the news, and his name will be dirt. She’ll be the only one who remembers what a good man he was. Ava says, even if everyone loses faith, Trina won’t, and she’s the only person who matters. Trina says, it doesn’t feel like enough, and Ava says, she is; she was for him. Her father left behind an incredible legacy. Not just with his work as a cop, but with the way Trina saw him walk through the world. He shaped her, and she’s extraordinary. Trina is his legacy. They hug.

Curtis promises it will end, and Jordan will take Cyrus out. She wonders what’s taking so long. They have everything they need for Cyrus to vacate. He says she knows how it goes. They have to get the order in front of a judge. She says, and once they do, the most evil man she’s ever known is going to go free.

Laura asks if Robert is suggesting they just sit back and let Cyrus go free. He says the justice system isn’t perfect, but they can’t disrespect it. Doc says, not even if it was a random drug lord, whose body count was strangers? It’s a legitimate course of action. Robert says, it’s nothing to be happy about, but they have to get used to the fact Cyrus is getting out. And when he does, Laura will be in his crosshairs for what she did to him in Pentenville. Laura says she’s not worried about herself, but her city. Port Charles is going to see a spike in drug trafficking. She asks if there’s any other option to delay Cyrus’s release.

Sonny tells Carly, he thought watching his father fade away  would be the hardest part. His father knowing him, looking him in the eye, father to son, and pleading that all he wants  to do is go home; it’s the one thing Sonny can’t give him. This is hell. He can’t do it. Carly holds him, and says, yes, he can. She’s got him.

On Monday – tomorrow they’ll be airing their 56th Anniversary episode (originally aired on April 3rd, 2019) – Josslyn wants to find Trina, Jason tells Sam that he can’t do this anymore, and Carly asks Sonny what the hell he’s going to do.

🩹 The Hospital Skinny…

More on what’s to come for GH’s schedule.

The Real Housewives of New York City

We begin with the news of Bethenny’s exit, and how the cast found out, since apparently, Bethenny didn’t let anyone know. She could be caustic, but she was also intelligent, funny, and knew her way around a kitchen. And most important, every once in a while, blew her stack and said what was on all our minds. Life. Is. Not. A. Cabaret. Sonja feels abandoned all over again, and Ramona thinks it will be better; the women will be freer in spirit. In LeeAnn’s interview, a producer asks how she feels. LuAnn says, it’s hard to say. She’ll miss Bethenny, but the show must go on – without her.

LuAnn leaves the criminal court building, accompanied by Sonja. They hug on the steps, and LuAnn says, it’s finally over. She stops by a coffee cart on the corner, telling Sonja it’s her coffee guy. He says he thought she was finished, and in her interview, she says, it’s finally over; her probation is finished. It’s been almost two years. We flash back to LuAnn looking sad in court, and explaining to the others that she had to use a breathalyzer to drive. She says what people don’t understand is that she wasn’t fully present. This was always on her mind. It’s like someone lifted a ton of bricks. They sit and chat, and Sonja says, when LuAnn was first arrested, she didn’t care. She hit bottom, and thought things were great. Then she started becoming a cabaret star, and she wasn’t there for them. LuAnn says, what about her? Ugh. Same old. Sonja says she treated them like fans. In Sonja’s interview, she lists some of the ways LuAnn was a brat last season. The tantrum in the fish room, dumping Sonja after the AA meeting to go see her own poster, and coming back without truffle fries. That’s the real misdemeanor. LuAnn didn’t understand Sonja’s pain. As they hug, Sonja eats a pretzel behind LuAnn’s back.

Tinsley meets friend, and new cast member, Leah at the gym. In Tinsley’s interview, she says the summer was all about her. She moved on from Scott, worked on her lash line, and went to China, bringing back two puppies, Strawberry and Shortcake. She’s been focusing on herself, and it feels liberating. She met Leah a couple months ago, and Leah brings out her wilder side. She says what she feels, and has no filter. She also has a twelve-year-old daughter. Tinsley takes her hoops off, saying she feels like she’s losing  part of herself. Boxing trainer Martin says, nobody gives a f***. After the session, Tinsley and Leah sit and talk. Tinsley tells Leah that she only knew Chicago through Scott, but met Bruce while she was there. She doesn’t like his name, but she can’t change it. He’s been married twice and has three kids. In her interview, Tinsley thinks it’s the best way to have children; she can give them back. She tells Leah, she’s usually all-in immediately, but it’s the first time she’s being guarded, and not thinking too far ahead. Leah says she’s enjoying being single. She and her last boyfriend went to France, and on the flight home she asked what was going on with his divorce. He said it was on hold, so she told him that her p*ssy was on hold too. Ha! Good one.

Dorinda is still with John, and she’s prepping for his cooking class – i.e. her teaching him how to make lasagna. She tells him the doctor says she’s healing like a twenty-year-old, and he says she still acts like a twenty-year-old. In her interview, Dorinda says Carson Kressley was teaching her some Dancing with the Stars moves at a dinner party, flung her over a balcony, and she broke a rib. There was no mention as to whether alcohol was involved. She tells John, it forced her to look at things, and become dependent on him. In Dorinda’s interview, she says her injury made it necessary for her and John to spend time together. It’s been good, but weird; she’s not used to it. She confirms that familiarity breeds contempt.  They make lasagna, and Dorinda tells him about LuAnn. She doesn’t know why it’s a big deal. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she and LuAnn are in a good place, but their friendship had gone off the tracks. We flash back to mostly Dorinda being mean to LuAnn, and yelling, Jovani! during LuAnn’s cabaret show. She says, they’ve both transitioned to better places, and she’s not overthinking it.

Ramona meets friends Maria, Missy and Elyse, along with new neighbor/friend Mitchell, at a bar. In Ramona’s interview, she says she had a fabulous summer. She sold her condo, and has a new apartment on the Upper East Side, but she was living the Hamptons life. She admits she’s been escaping; masking something in her mind. She tells her friends that she feels like a youngster, but she’s sixty, and lacks direction. She feels empty and alone. In her interview, she says she has no important man in her life. Elyse says she’s surprised that Ramona feels that way, and Ramona starts to cry. Oh, yay. The bar buddy everyone wants. A weepy one. She says she wants a man to hold her, love her, and marry her, and doesn’t know if she’ll find one. I should add, an embarrassing bar buddy as well, since she’s LOUD.

Leah and daughter Kier go out to a juice bar. In her interview, Leah says, New York City is the best city in the world, and I tend to agree. She has a clothing line, Married to the Mob (which I’m actually familiar with), and lives with her daughter. They’re best friends, soulmates, and life partners. She doesn’t know if that’s healthy, but it’s the way it is. Kier is starting school soon, and Leah tells her to be herself, try her best, and don’t let the bitches get to her. Kier says her grandma told her that Leah was a horrible child. In Leah’s interview, she says their family situation isn’t traditional. Her baby daddy was her first love, and she thought they’d be together until they died, but they haven’t been together since Kier was two. Even so, he’s pretty much family.

Ramona visits Sonja, along with her pup Coco, who wants to romance Sonja’s pup Marley, even though there’s nothing they can ultimately do about it, since they’re fixed. Sonja says she’s been a recluse and has gas. Ramon tells Sonja not to send any of that her way. Sonja says she just took her daughter to college, and she lost it. In Sonja’s interview, she says when her daughter was in boarding school, she came home on weekends with her friends. The best Sonja can do now is be supportive about college, but she’s dying inside. Ramona says, when kids are away, they appreciate you more, and Sonja says she wants to give her daughter space. Sonja says, when she went to college, she flew the coop, and never looked back. The dogs continue to go at it.

Dorinda prepares for a party on the rooftop of Magic Hour restaurant. In her interview, she says she’s the entertainer of the group. You never know what you’ll get with Sonja, Ramona always invites the same thirty people, LuAnn’s parties always have a ticket booth out front, and who would Tinsley invite? Scott? We flash back to Dorinda calling Tinsley out on Scott and living in the hotel. Dorinda tells her makeup artist, Tinsley gave her a speech on how she didn’t want to hear conspiracy theories about her life, but she tells it like she sees it.

Tinsley tells her hair stylist that she’s anxious because she’s about to see the girls. The accusations about her and Scott are bullsh*t. We flash back to a Scott moment. In Tinsley’s interview, she wishes she understood why Dorinda is focused on her. Clearly something is going on in her own life that’s making her unhappy, so she’s projecting. Dorinda says she doesn’t know anything about Tinsley. The minute they go deep, Tinsley retracts like a turtle. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if Tinsley has the ability to open up, but they’re not cocktail party talkers; they’re bad bitches.

Tinsley brings Leah to Dorinda’s party, and Leah wonders if there are any eligible bachelors to pick up. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s good at parties. She brings people from all different places and professions, and throws them into a room like a crazy soup, then puts the heat on high. Tinsley refuses to clink glasses because Sonja and Leah aren’t drinking alcohol, and it’s bad luck. I think that applies only to water, but Tinsley lives in her own world. She puts a drink stirrer in her drink, and then sticks it in theirs to make it okay. New rule. In Leah’s interview, she says she and alcohol have a weird relationship. She didn’t drink for nine years, and then started again six months ago. She enjoys going crazy. We see a clip of her telling Tinsley that every twenty times, she’s a hot mess and takes a loser home, wondering how he got there the next morning. The other night she drank too much, and lost Chanel bag along with her passport, so she’s putting it on pause. Everyone comments on Dorinda’s fabulous new haircut, which really does flatter her. LuAnn says she has her life back. In her interview, LuAnn says, it’s hard to wrap her head around the fact she could have gone to jail for having a drink, and now she can do what she wants. She worked hard to get where she is, and doesn’t want to give it up. She’s Lu and improved. Tinsley introduces Leah to everyone.

Dorinda welcomes everyone. She says, another summer is over, and she wanted to have an end-of-the-summer party, since they scatter during the summer. She tells them that she has a big surprise, and drag queen Chelsea Piers comes out (no pun intended), and performs Feelin’ Jovani, while LuAnn fights for the spotlight. In LuAnn’s interview, she says obviously Dorinda has gotten past this. It’s not an olive branch; it’s the whole tree. In Leah’s interview, she says she has no clue what Jovani is, and looks it up on her phone, looking confused when she finds out it’s a clothing designer. I guess she’s never watched this show. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, she loves hard, fights hard, and forgives easily. It seems ridiculous now. Leah explains she’s a native New Yorker, and LuAnn says, but she looks so normal. Leah says she doesn’t see herself tied down, but Ramona says she wants to be tied down. (Leaving those jokes for someone else.) LuAnn tells Leah, they’re kind of old school, since they were both married a long time. Leah and LuAnn compare arrests, and oddly enough, both attacked police officers. In Leah’s interview, she says she ran into a guy she had a crush on 4th of July, 2002. She was mid-kiss when suddenly five cops were beating him up. Her kneejerk reaction was to hit a cop, and he punched her, then smashed her face into the subway grate. Nice. She sued and won, and decided she’d been making bad choices, so she’d be smart with the money, and used it for her brand.

Tinsley asks Dorinda to come outside and talk. They sit, and Tinsley says she feels like they were friends, but had issues, and she wants to have a lunch date where they can talk. Dorinda says, about Tinsley’s text on conspiracy theories, she’s always trying to pull information out of Tinsley. She saw Tinsley in January, when she’d said she wasn’t with Scott, and a week later, she was having dinner with him. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s about transparency. Tinsley has things going on, and they find out about them elsewhere. She thinks Tinsley is a riddle they’re never going to solve. She doesn’t know the answer. Tinsley wins. Inside, Sonja chats up hot guy William, who’s Ramona’s ex-lover. Sonja says Ramona is always going after her guys, so she’s turning the tables. She tells William that she’s not dating young guys, but if you don’t use it, you lose it. Leah doesn’t think he can handle Sonja. In her interview, Leah feels like William is the kind of guy who wouldn’t know his way around a woman’s body, rub you in the wrong place, and you’d have to explain it to him or he’ll just keep it up. Sonja says she doesn’t want to go home empty-handed. Wake up and smell the Sonja. Dorinda tells Tinsley, it’s not just her, but Tinsley says, actually, it is. Dorinda won’t listen to her, and keeps calling her a liar. Dorinda says, don’t put words in her mouth.

Dorinda tells Tinsley not to be tricky with her. Don’t ride up on her and make a statement. I have no idea what that means. Tinsley says she doesn’t give a sh*t, and what she thinks is that Dorinda doesn’t want to be her friend. Dorinda says she wants to know who Tinsley is, but Tinsley just wants to make a big statement, and it’s not going to work. Dorinda flounces off, and plops down next to LuAnn on a couch. She tells LuAnn that Tinsley came up on her hot, and told Dorinda not to be all gangster, but Dorinda said she is gangster. I think maybe she’s just mean. Tinsley said everybody knows her except Dorinda. Tinsley sits down in between Ramona and Leah, and says she only said she wanted to talk to Dorinda, and Dorinda said she was fake. In Tinsley’s interview, she says if she’s not talking, Dorinda says she’s hiding something, but if she asks for a private conversation, she’s fake. She can’t win. Leah asks, what’s going on? and Dorinda and Tinsley continue to bicker. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, she’s already been there, and the last thing she’s doing is inserting herself into this dog fight. She tries to switch seats with Tinsley, but Tinsley isn’t moving. Dorinda gets in Tinsley’s face, and tells her to shut her mouth. Leah asks if Tinsley is going to let Dorinda talk to her like that. Tinsley says she doesn’t care what Dorinda has to say, and Dorinda says, kindergarten is starting. In Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda is like the snake in Beetlejuice, but scarier and meaner. Dorinda says this is boring her, and starts to walk away, but her heel gets stuck. Tinsley says, don’t trip (totally missing the opportunity to say, have a nice trip; see you next fall). Dorinda gets up close and personal again, and says her heel got stuck. The difference is, she bought her shoes. She didn’t lie on her back for them. She twirls around, but not nearly as well as Kenya, and walks away. Tinsley says, you’re a jealous bitch, bitch.

And away we go.

This season – parties, costumes, Ramona on a swing, Sonja falling, Leah says they’re all hot effing messes, LuAnn is back at cabaret, Tinsley wants to move to Chicago, Dorinda pretends everything is okay, LuAnn forgot how good vodka tastes, a trip to Mexico, a trip to a cornfield, revisiting the fish room, LuAnn swears she never screwed the pirate, and Dale wonders what’s wrong with her and Tinsley?

👨🏽‍🍳 On Top Chef, comedian chefs Ali Wong and Randall Park, who met during a fried rice competition where they went to school, gave the chefs their quickfire challenge of creating a fried rice dish, the winning chef getting immunity. The chefs had thirty minutes to make the best damn fried rice that was creative and inventive. Given a display table of ingredients, they were also to use at least one ingredient from the choices. You’d have thought they were going for rolls of toilet paper, the way the chefs grabbed the components they wanted. Kevin was the winner, using flaming hot Cheetos, hot dogs, and bourbon. I assume it tasted better than it sounds, since Ali said it was like a party in her mouth.

The elimination challenge was next, with the chefs going to the Getty Museum for inspiration. The challenge was to interpret a work of art on a plate, using four movements; baroque, neoclassicism, renaissance, and rococo. Since Kevin won the Quickfire, he got to choose first, and selected baroque. The rest of the contestants took knives from a block, each with a movement on it. After the museum, it was on to Whole Foods to shop for ingredients. Someone pointed out LOUD shoes, and I had to laugh, since I’d just mentioned that in the GH recap, and I wonder if it’s a thing now. The chefs were to tell a story through their choice of ingredient, and Ludo Lefebvre was introduced as guest judge.

Padma said they had some glorious, artful food, but had to choose one masterpiece. The winning spot went to Melissa’s won ton soup.

When the chefs on the bottom were called out, Padma told Karen that she ended up in the bottom because Kevin had immunity. In her interview, Karen made it clear how pissed she would be if she was out for that reason. She creeped me out a little during this episode. Not only did she practically hiss her displeasure about possibly losing, she most definitely glared at Kevin when he got the immunity in the first place. I also highly doubt had he not had it, he would have taken any chances. Joe said while the dish chosen didn’t lack artistry, it lacked the technique to present the artistry. Jamie had to pack up his knives and go for his dish being too dry. He said it sucked to leave this early, and wished he had delivered better cookery; there was no greater sin. His hope was in the Last Chance Kitchen, and to get back in the competition, doing the type of food he wants, the way he wants to do it. Next time, Kelly Clarkson is guest judge, and the chefs are challenged with a vegetarian menu.

🥠 The best quote came from Brian: I am not making baby Jesus today.

🐐 On Watch What Happens Live, we learned from Melissa and Joe Gorga that during quarantine in Italy, Joe Giudice is picking broccoli and chasing goats. Alrighty then.

👠 Don’t Pandemic Me…

One of LuAnn’s employees passive/aggressively called her out on Instagram.

But she’s not having it during this crisis.

👩🏽‍🚀 Almost Two Weeks In…

The good news is, chickens are still laying eggs, and the sky hasn’t fallen… yet. Shah you tomorrow.

April 1, 2020 – Julian Acts Like a Jerk, GH Celebrates, a Goodbye, Catching Up & Stay Home


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Because I don’t want to break my streak, I miss the beginning. Two important points are, Brook telling Lulu to relax because she doesn’t want Dustin’s body, just his mind, and Felix telling Sonny that Mike won’t walk because he’s afraid of falling.

Jax asks if Charlotte knows he has a daughter, and Charlotte says, Josslyn. He says when she was a little girl, Josslyn would visit him in Australia. Charlotte says she’s always wanted to go there, and he says she should. He asks if she likes surfing, and she says she loves it. Her papa has taken her to San Tropez. Jax says, fancy. Charlotte asks if she can go over to the counter and sit with Maddie, and Nina says, sure, and Jax says, that went well, and she tells him, give Charlotte time to come around. She says she’s having a difficult time replacing Maxie. She still has no creative director. He says he can lend her some support staff from Aurora to help look for prospective candidates, and she says, that’s sweet of him, but she thinks she’ll be okay. She just hired an administrative assistant. He hopes they’re good, and she says, that’s open for debate. It’s Nelle.

Sonny urges Mike to try and get out of bed. The nurse said, the sooner he gets out, the sooner he can go back to Turning Woods. He wants to get out of the hospital, right? Sonny gets no response, and says he wants to get Mike up. They can walk around and come back. Mike says Sonny is trying to scam money from him in a card game, but Sonny says that’s not what he’s doing. Mike calls him a punk from Flatbush, and tells him to scram. Get out.

Carly comes in to the kitchen to find Brando making crafts with Avery. She asks, what’s going on? and Brando says they’ve been busy. He was dropping off paperwork for Sonny to sign off on; insurance documents for the new shop. Avery shows Carly her new necklace, and Brando says the nanny was busy, and Avery wanted to show him how it’s done. Carly thanks him, and he says it’s his pleasure. She’s quite the little artist. Avery wants to go upstairs, and Carly tells her not to wake Donna. She says she’ll be as quiet as a mouse. She leaves, and Carly says, Brando is good with her.

Trina asks what Portia heard that’s going to be in the media, and Portia says she’s not going to lie. The news is not good. Jordan says, during the investigation into her father’s death, it was discovered that Taggert tampered with evidence that sent a criminal to prison.

Alexis yells at Julian to stop. Julian says Neil was supposed to help her, not help her fall off the wagon. Neil pushes him off, and Julian says Neil used Alexis’s deepest darkest secrets to worm his way into her life. Alexis says he’s off base, and Julian says, that hack is off base. Britt tells him to calm down, and Julian says she calls herself a doctor, but she’s just a twisted predator, which is a totally bizarre choice of words. He says, Neil manipulated Alexis into a relationship. Alexis says she doesn’t need his misguided chivalry, but he says someone needs to protect her. She says she doesn’t need protecting; not from Neil. He says, what about last night? and she says she thought she could trust him, and she sees where it got her. Julian says she’s been lying to him, and he has proof. I’m thinking Julian is the one who turned Neil in.

Brook tells Dustin and Lulu, she’s relaunching her music career, and working on new material. Lulu asks what about her binding contract with the awful producer? and Brook says she found a way to extract herself from it. Lulu says, translation; Brook’s father rescued her. Brook says he didn’t, and Lulu shouldn’t underestimate her. Lulu asks how she pulled it off, and Brook says she’s a Quartermaine. Master negotiation is in her DNA.

On the phone, Valentin says, it’s a major acquisition. How are things going on their end? Let him know when the deal is closed.

Jax tells Nina, don’t tell him she hired an ex-con who almost killed Josslyn’s brother, and almost killed Sonny’s family? Nina says Nelle has a different interpretation, but she hired Nelle for her own reasons. When the custody hearing happens, she can supply dirt. He tells her to be careful not to leave herself open to be Nelle’s next target.

Jordan tells Trina, it’s a lot to process, and Trina says Jordan is lying. Her father would never frame anyone. If he put someone in prison, the evidence was real. Curtis says, it was a major drug trafficker, Cyrus Renault. Cameron says, the guy who kidnapped them? and Curtis says, the same guy. Jordan says she was working undercover on a team with Taggert. He devoted his life to justice, and when he knew a horrible crime was going to be committed, he made the choice to make sure Cyrus was guilty. Trina doesn’t believe her, and Jordan says, sorry, but it’s the truth. Trina asks Portia to tell Jordan; he would never do that. He was a good cop. Portia knows it’s a lot to absorb. She didn’t want to believe it either. Trina says, then don’t. Cameron tells Trina, Jordan is the Police Commissioner. Trina says, so what? and he says, so why would she be saying this if it was a lie?

Carly says, when it comes to Brando, she wonders when another shoe is going to drop. He says if she doesn’t believe him, look it up in the public records. She asks, what the extra help babysitting Avery? He says Sonny gave him the garage, and it’s already doing a decent business. She says Brando uprooted his life for them, and he’s okay with that? He says, obviously not at first. He definitely resented it, but they pressured him to stay, and things are different now. There are great opportunities in Port Charles; not just with the shop, but with family too.   

Sonny tells Mike, he’s not trying to get him to play cards, and he doesn’t know the crew in Flatbush; he’s not in that scene. But if Mike doesn’t get out of bed, he’ll put himself at risk. Mike asks, of what? and Sonny says, for starters, pneumonia. Mike asks if that’s supposed to scare him, and Sonny says, he could get pneumonia and die. He has to keep up his strength. Does he want to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life? Mike says, no, of course (🍷) not, and Sonny says, then get out bed and walk a little. If he doesn’t, he’ll need to learn to walk again. It happened to Sonny. He got shot, and had to learn all over again. Mike doesn’t want to go through that at his age. Mike says, enough about his age, and Sonny says, come on. He’s got to listen. Mike says he doesn’t want to do this anymore.

Neil suggests Julian take it down a notch, and Alexis asks where the hostility is coming from. Not long ago, Julian was working with Neil to help her. Now he’s humiliated her, and threw Neil against a wall for no apparent reason. A small crowd gathers near the door, and Julian says, is she kidding? She forgot to tell him one important detail. Alexis says, don’t, and Julian says, the real reason she was a mess last night is because she and Neil slept together.

Alexis tells Julian, what she did or didn’t do is none of his damn business. Britt suggests they take it somewhere private, where everyone isn’t watching. Felix has shown up, and tells them, duke it out elsewhere. They can’t be disturbing the patients.

Brook tells Lulu, she made Linc an offer he couldn’t refuse. Her career is now her own, and she’s only going to work with people she respects and trusts. No more washed up failures stuck in neutral. Lulu says, and Dustin is the first person she thought of? Brook says Dustin used to write gorgeous lyrics. She asks if he remembers his love poems, and Lulu tells her, put a sock in it. Dustin says Brook told him his poetry was sophomoric, and she says, he’s still writing, isn’t he? Write everything down. A bad idea can lead to a good song. She took his advice. Lulu says Brook should have volumes of terrible lyrics, and Brook says she doesn’t expect Lulu to understand. All she’s interested in is hairspray, lip gloss, and cupcake recipes for the PTA bake sale.

Jax says Nina’s weakness is that she’s overconfident, and that assumption can make her fall. She says she learned her lesson, and he says, what if Nelle realizes Nina is setting her up? She says, don’t worry. Nelle will never see her coming. He says, remind him to never get on her bad side, but she says, her bad side can be good sometimes. Valentin comes in, and Charlotte runs to him.

Neil, Alexis, and Julian go into an empty examining room. Alexis asks how Julian could do that, and Julian says, what? Tell the truth? She says he accused Neil in front of everyone. Why? He says he did it for her, and she says, in what universe would that benefit her? He says she regretted what happened, then protected Neil. Neil used what he learned about her to lure her into having sex with him. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and says he sounds insane. Julian says he knows the truth, and Britt saw them in New York. They were all over each other in the corridor. She says, so Britt ran and tattled to him, but he says, no. He mentioned Alexis had an issue with her therapist, and Britt remembered where she’d seen Neil before – with his tongue down Alexis’s throat. Alexis doesn’t know how to make this clearer, but it’s none of his business what she does or who she does it with. Neil suggests they keep the volume down. They can resolve this in an adult way; there’s no need do get physical. Julian says, Neil made it physical; then made Alexis drink. Alexis tells Julian to go straight to hell where he belongs.

Sonny says he’s not going to force Mike to walk if he doesn’t want to. When the nurse comes in, maybe she can get him to do it. He likes Elizabeth, right? Mike nods, and Sonny tells him, get some rest. Mike asks if Sonny would tell him a story. He used to do that; tell him a story when he was afraid of the dark. Sonny says, all right, and sits down. He says, once upon a time, there was a little boy who lived in Brooklyn with his mom and dad. He liked to hang out on the porch in the neighborhood, and watch the kids go by on their bikes. He didn’t want to join them. He didn’t want to ride a bike. Mike asks, why not? and Sonny says, he was afraid he’d fall off.

Carly says she can’t imagine Brando had a yen to make a macaroni necklace. Brando says, a pasta necklace. The nanny was busy with Donna, and Avery was begging to make a necklace, so why not? He figured the nanny had her hands full, he didn’t have to be anywhere, and Avery wouldn’t stop asking. Carly says, she’s relentless. She’d love to say Avery got it from her father. Avery digs in when she wants something, and won’t give up. She learned it from watching Carly. Brando says, Avery is a lucky little girl.

Cameron says he gets how much Trina hates this; he hates it for her. But it’s better to find out now before it becomes viral. Curtis says Taggert did a bad thing, but for a good reason. Trina says, he did his job, and now they’re going to trash his reputation, when he’s not there to defend himself. Portia says they’re telling her now to protect her. The story is going to get out. Trina asks, why? She doesn’t believe it, but even if she did, Cyrus is a drug trafficker and a kidnapper. He belongs in prison; leave him there. Portia says what her father did was wrong. You can’t create evidence. Trina says her father knew that, so why would he do it? Jordan says she’s sorry, but that’s exactly what he did.

Charlotte asks if Valentin knows Jax. He says he does, and asks how Jax is. Not to be rude, but can he have a quick word outside with Nina? Jax says he’ll look after Charlotte. He suggests he and Charlotte go smell what’s coming out of the oven; it might be cranberry scones. Charlotte tells her papa to have a nice chat with Nina. Valentin and Nina go outside, and he asks if they’re capable of having a nice chat. He notices she got a haircut, and says he loves it. She asks why they’re out there, and he asks if she and Jax are serious. She says they’re seeing each other and having fun. He says, good, and she says, it is. No lies or secrets, and no fraud. He hopes she enjoys it while it lasts.

Dustin says Brook isn’t doing herself any favors by insulting Lulu, but Brook says she was kidding. Where’s their sense humor? Lulu says it’s intact when something is funny. Brook asks if Dustin has given up writing, and he says he just writes for himself. She says, how selfish. She knows there’s a good song somewhere in there. She’s just asking for one song, and she wouldn’t ask if she didn’t need the help. If it’s a success, he’ll enjoy the royalties. She can see the movie now. Two dreamers in New York City, who took different paths, then came together to fulfill their dream. Lulu says, it sounds like the cover of a bad romance novel, and adds, Dustin isn’t interested. Dustin says he has to think about it, and Brook asks him not to take too long. She leaves, and Lulu says she shouldn’t have answered for him. He says he’s not doing it, and she asks, why not? He says he has a happy life, and doesn’t want to shake it up, but she says she thinks he should do it. Write Brook a song.

Brando says, so Avery isn’t Carly’s daughter? Carly says Avery has lived with them since she was born; her mom Ava isn’t reliable. He knows how that works, and she asks if life wasn’t great growing up with Gladys. He says it wasn’t an easy life, but he wasn’t an easy kid. He would take off, and go on hikes, or build forts in abandoned buildings, or go to the library to read. Gladys had no idea where he was. She thought he was shoplifting or busting windows, but he just wanted to be alone.

Sonny tells Mike, the boy had four or five friends down the street, and one friend, Lenny, outgrew his bike, so he gave his bike to the little boy. The bike was a hand-me-down, and rusty, but it worked. The boy was afraid to ride it, because another friend had fallen and broken his collarbone and had stitches above his eye. So he didn’t want to ride. Mike asks if the boy ever learned, and Sonny says, eventually. His dad taught him. His dad said just take five minutes to learn to ride. Mike asks, what happened? and Sonny says for five minutes, the boy tried. Then his dad upped it to ten, then twenty-five. The boy got the hang of it, but he was still scared. His dad said, just go two car lengths, and he would be by the boy’s side. Then the boy went three, four, five car lengths, and soon the kid was flying.  His dad said he’d buy the boy a brand new bike with chrome handlebars. He never did, but what he gave the boy was a lot more than any bike could give him.

Jordan tells Trina, it seems unfair, but it doesn’t matter. They have a code they have to follow, and she had to notify the Justice Department. Trina says Taggert was Jordan’s partner. How could she betray him? Jordan says she admired Taggert, and hated telling Trina. She’s sorry, but it’s out of her hands.

Julian says he wondered why Alexis drank after all those years of sobriety. Then Britt told him about seeing her with Neil, and it hit him; it was Neil. Alexis says, so Julian thought it was his place to accuse Neil of exploiting her when he just did the same thing? She trusted him, and he broadcast her private business for the entire hospital to hear. He says, Neil had to be exposed for what he did to her, and she says, all the time they’ve spent together, and he has no clue who she is. She tells him, get out. Julian says, hear him out, but she repeats, get out. Julian leaves, and Neil closes door. He asks Alexis, why did she drink? Was it really because of him?

Nina asks why Valentin assumes she and Jax aren’t going to last, and he says he gets it. Jax is tall, blond, personable; relationship material. She asks why this is Valentin’s business. Is this what he needed to talk about? He says he’s sorry. Without reservation or agenda, he’s sorry for what he did to her, and hopes she can understand and accept his apology. Jax seems to see the world in black and white, while they both see it in shades of grey. He hopes when Nina goes to a grey area, Jax doesn’t judge, reject, or leave her, but if he does, she knows where he’ll be – in his grey area, waiting for a shot to win her back. Mostly, he’s sorry. He asks her to tell Charlotte that he’ll call later. He brushes something from her hair, and says, nice haircut. (Not sure why the focus on that. Did he send her to his hairdresser?) She goes back inside, and says, oh my God! She runs to Jax, who’s on the floor. He says he’s fine, but he should watch where he’s going.

Jordan tells Trina, her father manufactured evidence that sent Cyrus to prison, and there was payback in the warehouse. Trina says, it’s not enough that he’s dead? She has to destroy his reputation? Portia says that doesn’t mean Taggert gets to dodge his responsibility. Trina says, it’s too late to take back his hero’s funeral, but should she return the flag from his casket? Portia says they’ll talk at home, but Trina says, no. She’s not going anywhere with Portia.

Britt asks Julian, what the hell was he thinking? He just attacked a doctor in a hospital. Julian says Neil had it coming, and Britt asks why he felt compelled to give Neil the business. He and Alexis have been separated for years. It’s not his place to interfere with her life. He’s still in love with her, isn’t he? He says, it’s totally over, but what’s not over is what he did to Alexis. It reflects on how she connected with Neil. If any man hurts Alexis, he’ll kill them. That’s why he interfered. Britt doesn’t think it was his place, but he says he was justified. She says, like hell he was.

Alexis tells Neil, she and Sam had a fight. Sam said horrible things; things that gutted her. The bartender slipped her a drink, and she drank it. She just had one. She knows it’s one too many; that’s why she called for help. Neil asks why she called Julian, and she says, he was the only one who answered. Neil asks why she didn’t call him, and she says they’re not supposed to be talking given their situation. He says, what had happened between them had to play a role in why she drank.

Brando tells Carly, when he was ten, Mike came to town. He’d take Brando to the track, and he’d watch the workouts. He couldn’t care less about the races, but he wanted to be around the horses. Mike did that for him. Mike said he was the same as a kid, and had wanted a horse of his own. Carly says she’s going visit Mike. Why doesn’t Brando come with her?

Mike looks like he’s half-snoozing, and Sonny says he never needed a bike. Mike gave him something way better – a lesson. Mike taught him that falling down is okay; it’s part of the process. The catch is, you’ve got to get up and move forward, and if you can’t, you rely on someone who can. Sonny tears up, and so do I. He says, that’s what he’s doing. He’s going to return the favor, and he’s going to catch Mike. Sonny and I wipe our eyes, and Mike asks if he was out long. Sonny says, not too long. Does Mike want get up and take a walk? Just for about five minutes. Mike nods, and says, okay.

Dustin says, Lulu thinks he should write Brook a song? and she says, why not? He wanted to be a writer. He disconnected from that part of himself, and if Brook is offering to help him connect again, go for it. Take a chance. He says, it’s not just any collaboration. It’s Brook, and he doesn’t want Lulu to be upset or jealous. She says she’d only be upset or jealous if she thought Brook was a threat. Brook is annoying, but harmless, and she thinks it’s a big opportunity for him. Doesn’t he? He says he does, and she says, one thing, Dusty. Watch your back.

Brook literally runs into Valentin near the elevators. He says they were both so busy thinking about where they were headed, they missed what was right in front of them. She says, that’s not a bad lyric.

Nina asks if Jax is okay, and he says he’s fine. His pride is hurt. She asks, what happened? She leaves for a couple of minutes, and finds him on the floor. He says he was getting a scone, and he tripped. She says, on what? but he says, it doesn’t matter. It was an accident. He glances at Charlotte.

Trina tells Jordan, congratulations on ruining her father’s reputation after he was murdered. Good job, Commissioner. She tells Portia, leave her alone, and storms out. Cameron says he’ll make sure she’s okay. Portia says she wishes she hadn’t had to do that, and Jordan says, so does she. Cameron says he gets why Trina feels the way she does. Taggert was her dad. He leaves to go after Trina.

Julian tells Britt that he feels blindsided. Britt tells him he’s delusional, and just made it worse. He says he just brought the truth out, and Britt says, the truth is overrated. And that side thing that have going on? It’s no fun anymore. They’re over.

Neil tells Alexis, he’s so sorry. She says she’s not, because she doesn’t think what they did was wrong. She thought it was amazing. She doesn’t care what the board or her ex have to say. Neil says Julian saying he slept with her, everyone hearing it, and Britt seeing them, is going to spell trouble for them.

Sonny helps Mike as he walks, saying, he’s got him. He won’t let Mike fall. Mike laughs, and says they’re good. He asks what Sonny’s name is. He wants to tell Sonny’s boss he’s a keeper. Sonny say he’s just happy Mike is on his feet. Carly and Brando come in, and Carly says, look at Mike being up. Good job. Mike looks at Brando, and says, it can’t be. He’s dead.

Tomorrow, Jordan says Molly’s actions have consequences; Cyrus says if he threatens them, they’ll know it; and Mike needs Sonny to do something.

🩺 General Hospital Cancelled…

April Fool! Happy Anniversary to GH with a trip down Port Charles Lane.

🌠 Not the Virus…

Saying goodbye to another soap vet.

📺 E Keeps You Busy…

Some shows to catch up on.

🧸 Until Tomorrow…

When too many cooks will be making amazing food. I promise the world will still be here. Unless we get hit by an asteroid or something. In the meantime, a bedtime story. If you prefer the unbleeped version, you can find it at the site, but you know, I try to keep it PG-13. Most of the time.

March 31, 2020 – Jordan Involves the DOJ, Two Pranks Are Played, Loving Is Back, a Last Season, New GH Schedule, Soaps Rate, Okay Andy & Tired


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I missed the very beginning, because I was running early. Why, Lord, why?

At the MetroCourt, Lulu sees Brook. Dustin asks if Lulu is sure this is a good idea. Does she remember what happened the last time? She says she remembers exactly what happened.

Trina apologizes to Cameron for being late. She lost track of time talking to Ava. Cameron says, it’s totally fine. Everything good? She says, yeah. Him? He flashes back to the kiss, and Trina saying, if she’d lost him, she wouldn’t be able to do any of this, and him saying, neither could he. He tells Trina, it’s all good.

Portia tells Curtis, she knew there was a lot Taggert couldn’t tell her, and frankly there was a lot she didn’t want know. Even when they were breaking up, she still cared about him, and he did everything he could to reassure her. Curtis says, she suspected it was Cyrus when Taggert was killed. He must have told her something about the investigation. She asks why it’s important, and Curtis says he and Jordan are always trying to figure out what to bring home, and what to leave at the office. It must have been the same with them.

Laura goes to the station, and sees Mac. She asks if Jordan is in her office, but he says she’s in a meeting. Laura asks if Mac means Jordan is interrogating a suspect, and Mac says he means she’s in a meeting. Laura gets that Mac isn’t used to her being mayor, but she has to ask him what’s going on.

In the interrogation room, Cliff sets up a recorder, and says, it’s an interview with Jordan regarding the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault. He asks if Jordan consents to the recording. She does, and he tells her to please explain her involvement in the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault.

Alexis says Finn doesn’t seem surprised to hear that she fell off the wagon. He says he feels terrible that he missed her call, but she says it’s not his job to keep her sober; it’s hers. Last night, she let her team down. He says they’re on the same team. If she has some time, he’d like to talk. She says she had one drink, but he says they both know it’s never just one. Alexis says, it’s all she had, and he says she’s been sober almost three years. What changed? She says, apparently, she did, or that’s what she was told. It’s the truth. He says, and that’s bad because… She says, because she stopped fighting for herself and what she believes in. Instead, she protected someone and crossed the line. He says she’s not first person to ever do that. What’s so horrible that she would end three years of sobriety? She says she slept with the person she protected, and she knew it was wrong, but the worst thing is that she’d do it again in a heartbeat. He says he believes her, and asks if she slept with them because she had a drink, or did she drink because she slept with them?

Julian and Britt cuddle in bed, and Julian says, he can get used to this. She tells him to remember their deal. It’s just fun, and at the end of the day, he goes his way and she goes hers. Britt says she probably should go, and he asks if it’s visiting hours at the jail. She says she’s already seen her mother, and once is enough. He asks if Obrecht is still claiming Peter framed her, and she says her mother lives by the motto, deny, deny, deny. She never takes responsibility for her crimes. He says, unlike Britt’s best pal Brad. He can’t believe Brad was involved in a baby switch, and she says Brad isn’t the villain Julian wants him to be. Julian knows Brad is Britt’s best friend, but Brad did betray his son’s trust in the worst possible way. She says, things are not always black and white. If he took the time to understand… He says, like her? She says she and Brad are kindred spirits. Now Brad is in prison, and they can only interact through a glass partition. She’s lost her best friend, and doesn’t know how she’s going to replace him in her life. Brad is the only person who got her, and without him, it feels pretty lonely.

Ned tells Brook, no one would be thrilled with a rematch, and she says, Lulu is a smug self-righteous, spoiled brat. There’s no way she’s letting Lulu win. He says, it’s not a competition. Blame him. He shouldn’t have forced her to work at ELQ. He’s going to find her a job more suitable to her talents. She says her talents belong on stage, and that’s exactly where she’s going.

Dustin says, the mess with Brook is over, isn’t it? and Lulu asks why she should go easy on Brook. He says, Brook is social media’s new punching bag, and she’s been beaten enough. She says, tell her that he doesn’t feel sorry for Brook, and he says he knows the reason Lulu resents Brook; she was desperate to become a success, like him. She says Brook dumped him because he couldn’t help her, but she has better things to do than scratch Brook’s eyes out, as much as she’d like to. He says, name one, and she says, this. They kiss, and Olivia approaches their table. She asks if anyone would care to hear the specials.

Trina asks Cameron how practice is going, and he says, good, but weird. It kind of freaks him out. When he’s playing, his focus is totally on the ball. She says, it’s not weird. She gets the same feeling at the gallery. It’s all about the work. She forgets the drama, and the questions that have no answers. He says he thought her mom didn’t like Ava, and Trina says, her mom doesn’t, but she does. She can talk about anything to Ava. He says that’s like him and Franco, and she asks what they talk about. He says, they were just talking about his last session with Dr. Bern. She says, Dr. Bern? Isn’t he… Cameron says, a therapist, yes. His mother thought he needed someone to talk to because… She asks if he thinks he needs a therapist, and he says, now she sounds like Dr. Bern. He agreed to go so his mother would stop treating him like a basket case. Trina says, he’s entitled to be a basket case, but he says she went through a lot more. She tells him not to compare their tragedies. She’s glad he can talk to Franco, and he says he’s glad she has Ava, but be careful; Josslyn doesn’t trust her. Trina says she gets why, but her experience is completely different, and Ava has been supportive. She wonders why something awful has to happen before they realize they’re not alone. He says that’s a good question, but he doesn’t have an answer.

Curtis asks Portia if Taggert was the kind of guy who brought his work home with him, and she says, sometimes. He says, even when it came to Cyrus? and she asks why he cares. He says he’s just curious because she mentioned balancing work and married life. She asks why it matters now.

Jordan says she was part of a four member team at the DEA. They were a task force assigned to Cyrus. Her, Bob, Mark, and Taggert. All three died in a three month period. Two from overdoses, who had no history of drug use, and Taggert was murdered. She became concerned and went over the DEA files. That’s when she realized there were discrepancies in the evidence. Cliff asks her to elaborate, and she says, upon further examination, she saw the material evidence used to convict Cyrus may have been fabricated. He asks if she knew they’d been obstructing justice, but she says she just had a sneaking suspicion.

Laura knows Mac was working on figuring out how Cyrus got messages from prison out to the street, but Mac says, so far, they have nothing. Laura wonders if the lead is in front of him, and he asks if she’s suggesting they have a dirty cop. She hopes not, but somebody is helping Cyrus. Jordan and Cliff come out of the interrogation room, and Jordan looks at Laura.

Cliff says, now the DOJ will have to be involved, and trusts Jordan won’t leave town. She says, of course (🍷) not. Mac asks, what’s going on? and she says, long story. It will have to wait. He says what’s more important if it involves the people he works with? but she says, it doesn’t. It’s about her and Cyrus. She leaves, and Mac and Laura look at each other.

Trina and Cameron walk as they talk. Trina says Josslyn and Dev can’t leave the property without a security guard. It would make her rip her hair out. It was bad enough with her mother texting her ten times a day, and monitoring where she is. He asks if her mother has backed off yet.

Lulu tells Olivia, she’s sorry about trashing the restaurant, but Brook started the fight. Olivia asks if that was before or after Lulu doused Brook with champagne. Lulu says Brook has done nasty things to her, but Olivia says Lulu has done the same. Like printing Brook’s careless post in The Invader. By the way, that’s not even her beat. Lulu says she didn’t tell Brook to post it in the first place, but even if she hadn’t written about it, someone else would have. Olivia says, it wasn’t someone else; it was Lulu. She gets that Dante is gone, and Lulu is acting out. What she doesn’t understand is that in moving on, why Lulu has turned her back on Olivia and the family. She says she thought Lulu was part of the family, and walks away.

Ned knows Brook has a plan to secretly write and record until she gets her creative property rights back, but does she think it’s a good idea to go on stage? Brook says she doesn’t need to be secretive anymore. She found a way out. He says Diana and ELQ”s lawyers couldn’t break Brook’s contract, and Brook found a way? She says she didn’t need to. After Ned decided to embarrass her, she decided to give Linc what he wants. He says, she’s not going to have… and she says, no. All he needs to know is that she’s now free and clear of her soul-sucking contract. He says it’s not all needs to know. What did she give Linc to make him walk away?

Julian tells Britt, there are way more appropriate candidates for best friend than Brad. She just looks at him, and he says he’s sorry she lost her best friend. Would she like a drink? She asks if by other candidates, he means like him, and he asks if that’s so horrible. Does she have something in common with more upstanding citizens in Port Charles? She says her alleged crimes were an act of love. She doesn’t think holding a knife to his ex’s throat is considered an act of love. Julian says he and Alexis are in a better place now, and she asks if Alexis forgave him. Julian says Alexis got therapy, and Britt says her therapist must be good. As she remembers, Alexis doesn’t forgive so easily. He says, so good, Alexis fell for him. She’s stopped therapy, but hasn’t stopped seeing Dr. Bern. Britt says, Dr. Bern? and Julian asks if she knows him.

Alexis tells Finn, her reasons for drinking are complicated, and he says, they usually are. Would one of the complications be Julian? She doesn’t blame him for coming up with that, but Julian was a good guy, and picked her up the bar. Sam called her coward. He says, and Alexis believed her? She’s fearless and courageous, but Alexis says she lacked courage when the going got rough. Maybe she drank because she can’t be with the guy. Finn says it sounds like she cares about him very much, and she says, it’s just… Neil walks in, and a lightbulb comes on over Finn’s head.

Neil says he thought there was a staff meeting there. Alexis says, it was an AA meeting, and Neil says maybe he got the meeting wrong. Finn says he’s got the wrong room, and tells Neil where it is. Neil says he’s going to bring a GPS next time, but Finn says, when he’s been there a while, he’ll figure it out. Finn kept thinking the supply closet was the on-call room. Alexis says she has to take off, and Neil says he does too, but Finn asks if he can asks a couple of questions. It will just take a minute. He wants to pick Neil’s brain about a patient, and it might have legal complications. Alexis says she has a meeting, and Neil says he’ll be late, but Finn ignores them. He says he’s been treating a patient who’s taken a series of experimental drugs, and is now confessing to bizarre crimes. Maybe the crimes are real; maybe they’re the patient’s imagination. Or maybe it’s their mental illness. Neil and Alexis look at each other, and flash back to their night in the hotel. Finn asks what Neil thinks. Side effects of the medication, or should he investigate if these are true confessions?

Britt tells Julian, she knew Neil looked familiar, but now she’s heard his name in context with Alexis. She had a layover in New York City, and went shopping. She stayed at the nicest hotel, and when she was on her way back to her room, she saw a man about to knock on a door. She didn’t think anything of it, but when the door opened, Alexis stepped out. She was about to say hi, when they fell into each other’s arms, and went back into the room. The guy was Dr. Neil Bern.

Lulu asks Dustin if Olivia was right. Was she desperate to punish Brook, and didn’t care who she hurt? Don’t be the supportive boyfriend, but tell her the truth. He asks if he can’t be both. He tells her, she’s caring, passionate, and impulsive, which aren’t bad things. They’re all reasons why he can’t get enough of her. But in her moving on, the hard part is, sometimes her impulses get out of control. She didn’t have to publish Brook’s post. It could have disappeared into the blogosphere, and no one would have been the wiser. She did it to get back at Brook.

Brook says, Ned likes to keep his business dealings private, and so does she. Her phone rings, and she says it’s her new PR guy; she has to run. As she heads to the elevator, on the phone, she says she has good news for him; he’s going to love it. Olivia asks Ned why every time she sees his daughter smiling, she knows all hell is about to break loose?

Trina tells Cameron, she and her mother have established some ground rules. They made them together. Her mom will give her space as long as Trina doesn’t scare her with radio silence. He says, sounds like a plan, and she says she knows his mom has rules; what about Franco? He says, Franco isn’t big on rules. Trina gets a text from Josslyn, and says she was supposed to text yesterday, and forgot. He asks what Josslyn said about… The last time they were all together, trying to study Shakespeare, Trina left. He knows why she left, but Josslyn didn’t. Unless… Trina didn’t tell her that they kissed, did she?

Portia doesn’t get why Curtis cares so much what went on between her and Taggert. Why is it important? There’s a knock at the door, and Jordan pops in. She says she’s sorry. She didn’t know Curtis would still be there. Portia says Curtis was just asking if she and Taggert talked about his work. Curtis says he was wondering about the Cyrus investigation, and Portia says she told him that Taggert really didn’t talk about his work at home. Jordan says, good. The less Portia and Trina have to do with Cyrus, the better. Portia says, it’s a little late for that. Her daughter was already kidnapped, and her father was shot in front of her. Jordan says she’s sorry. She’s afraid she has more bad news. Portia says, it’s not Trina, is it? but Jordan says, no. Trina is fine as far as she knows. She just met with a detective from Internal Affairs, and he’s asked the Justice Department to open an investigation involving Taggert’s handling of the case against Cyrus.

Alexis tells Finn, from a legal standpoint, policies would have to be investigated. Neil says he’ll work on whether it’s delusion or medication. Finn thanks them both, saying he appreciates it. He asks Alexis, lunch tomorrow? and she says, coffee. He says, sounds good, and leaves. Alexis walks into the office, and Neil closes the door. He says he knows it’s none of his business, but Finn seemed concerned about her. She says it was a post AA meeting; a double-checking thing. Neil says, he’s concerned, but she says she’s fine. Really. He says, every time a patient feels compelled to use the word really, it makes him concerned. She says she’s not a patient anymore, and he says, as one friend to another, can he help?

Julian tells Britt, Alexis’s therapist took advantage of her, but Britt says, Alexis is a grown woman, and as far as she could tell, wanted it as much as Neil did. Julian says, there are rules against that, and she says, it’s ironic that Julian has rules. He says, if Neil is ignoring that, he’ll have to remind him. He’s heading over to GH now. She says, to do what? Ride Neil? She doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Alexis can take care of herself. He says, if she wants to worry about someone, worry about Neil. She says, all she wants to know is if he’s giving her a ride, or does she have to call Ride Share? He says, let’s go, and they leave.

Dustin says, too much honesty? but Lulu says, no; he’s right. So was Olivia. She was acting out, but Brook goes out of her way to be antagonistic, and she wanted to get back at her. She’s a bad person. He says, she’s a wonderful person, but she says, with so many flaws. He says, perfection is overrated.

On the phone, Brook tells her PR guy, if they ask about the big blow up, say no comment, and move on. The less said about it, the quicker it will blow over. She’ll be posting behind-the-scenes footage of her new material. Lulu approaches, and says she knows Brook heard her. Brook says, she’s ignoring Lulu. Take the hint. Lulu asks Brook to hear her out.

Trina says, Josslyn has no idea she and Cameron kissed, and he says, thank God. It would make things awkward. She says, a little bit, and he asks what she ended up telling Josslyn. She says she told Josslyn things were weird because of what happened to her dad, which is actually true. They were all traumatized, and none of them is thinking clearly. Josslyn understood completely. He says he’s glad to hear it, and she says she’s got to run. She promised to meet her mom at the hospital. He says he has  to meet his mom too; can he join her? She says, sure. What are friends for? I’m disappointed.

Portia doesn’t understand. She says Cyrus was found guilty, and sent to prison years ago, and Taggert is dead. Why revisit the case? Jordan says the other two members of the team were also killed in the last three months. She questioned the circumstances of their deaths, and searched for why they were singled out. She found proof that they fabricated the evidence that put Cyrus away. Portia says, they falsified evidence? and Jordan says, they were desperate for a conviction, and Cyrus was too good at not getting caught. She’s sure they felt it meant saving lives. Portia says, that could explain a lot about what happened in the marriage. With Taggert, everything was black and white; there were no grey areas. If he violated his own code, it would have eaten him up inside. I note that Jordan has officially replaced Jason in making the best worried face ever.

Laura thanks someone on the phone, and says she’ll be in touch. She tells Mac, it’s true. The DOJ is doing an investigation. They’ve ordered a complete review of the evidence that put Cyrus in prison. Apparently, Taggert worked with the other two agents to plant evidence against him. Mac says, no. He worked with Taggert for years, and Taggert never bent the law. He had a deep loathing for any officer who did. Laura says, if Jordan thinks there’s a possibility he crossed the line, they have to take it seriously.

Portia says, Taggert and his colleagues were killed for putting Cyrus in prison. What about Jordan? Where does she factor in? Curtis says, Jordan worked inside to gain Cyrus’s confidence. Portia says, so she was working independently of the team? and he says, right. Portia says, Taggert didn’t tell her; they left her out? He says, that’s right. Jordan knew nothing about it.

Olivia wonders how Brook got out of her contract, and Ned says she wouldn’t tell him, and he didn’t push her. He had the feeling no amount of pressure would make her talk. Maybe grandfather had the right idea about tough love. Olivia says that would let him off the hook. Now he doesn’t have to feel guilty about firing her.

Brook sits with Lulu and says, make it quick; she has a meeting with Lucy. Lulu says she didn’t know Brook was interested in real estate, and Brook says she’s not. Lulu says, skin care and cosmetics? Brook says, no. Her career is back on track. She’s launching her rebrand at this year’s Nurses ball. Dustin says, congratulations, and Lulu says, absolutely. She tells Brook, she’s not sorry she did her job as a journalist, but she could have contacted ELQ first, and given them a chance address the pharmaceutical branch that was closing. And it was wrong of her to spray Brook with champagne. So, are they good?

In the elevator, Britt tells Julian, take a deep breath, and do some quick elevator meditation. Don’t do anything he regrets.

Neil tells Alexis, there’s no rule that says she can’t turn to him for help. Alexis says, when she considers that, alarm bells go off inside her head. Neil says she called him last night, but she says, it was a mistake. She wasn’t in an appropriate state to see him. He asks, what state would that be? She shows him her one-day chip. Julian and Britt look through the window.

Mac tells Laura, there has to be more to the story, and she says, maybe there is, but she doesn’t know why Jordan wouldn’t have shared that. Mac says, she took the investigation at face value, but she knew Taggert better than anyone. Why would she have gone straight to IA? Laura says, maybe she couldn’t believe Taggert did something illegal. Mac asks if they just sit back and watch it play out, but she says, no. If something else is going on, she wants him find it.

Jordan tells Portia, she had no idea when Cyrus was originally tried that evidence was planted. Portia says, it’s not going to stay quiet for long. She has to find Trina and tell her what’s going on. Trina knocks on the door, and Portia says, better now than later. She opens the door to Trina and Cameron, and Trina asks, what’s going on? Why are they here?

Ned tells Olivia, Brook is his daughter. From the moment she was born, he started to feel guilty. She says, he had to fire Brook; he had no choice. The mess Brook brought back, she did by her lonesome. He says if Brook is back on track, he won’t feel so guilty, but she says if Brook isn’t willing to tell him exactly how it happened, she has some scheme or epic machination that’s going to blow up in everyone’s face.

Brook accepts Lulu’s apology, and they shake hands. Brook says she wants something in return, and Lulu says, name it. Brook says, Lulu’s boyfriend.

Alexis tells Neil, it’s the first day of her new life. She shows him her chip, and he takes her hand. He says he’s proud of her. Julian busts into the room, and grabs Neil, throwing him up against the wall. Alexis asks what Julian is doing.

Tomorrow, Valentin says Brook’s ELQ shares are officially his, Trina tells Portia not to believe Jordan’s lies, and Carly asks Brando when the other shoe is going to drop.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana meets Lisa for riding. Lisa says she taught Prince to talk, and Ariana says she’s ready for this. Lisa calls Tardon, parlay! and Prince whinnies.

Katie visits Stassi, who’s on the couch, wearing a sleep mask. They have wine and burgers, and Stassi says, it’s just what she needed. The hangover struggle is real.

James makes bacon, and tells Raquel that he had the weirdest dream. Lala was in it. Raquel asks, why? and he says, because he was having an annoying night. We flash back to Tom’s birthday, and Raquel relaying to James that Logan had said he was at a party where people were getting effed up. Raquel says she has to ask; was James drinking at that party? He says, no. If he had, it would be a serious problem. He swears he hasn’t had a drank in six days, In his interview, he says he used to think if bad things happened, it was a good reason to drink, but hit doesn’t solve anything. He’s happy he didn’t.

Lisa tells Ariana that James quit drinking, and he’s getting help. Ariana says, it’s like déjà vu or Groundhog Day, but Lisa says she thinks the difference is that Raquel put her foot down. Ariana says you never know when James is going to snap, and Lisa says it’s when he has his first drink, but she thinks the tide has changed.

James tells Raquel that he’s been talking to Lisa every day.

Stassi can’t believe Katie is having a girls wine night party, but Kristen isn’t invited. Katie says, it’s happening. She’s met some new people, but hasn’t gotten to know them, so she’s invited Dayna, Danica, and Charli. She also can’t not invite Raquel if she’s invited the others. In Stassi’s interview, she says Katie has invited every single girl in West Hollywood, and Kristen is going to be pissed. Katie tells Stassi, if Kristen is going to act like that, she’s not inviting her.

Lisa says, when it gets to be too much, she goes to the stable. Ariana complains that her horse has a small wiener, and it’s embarrassing.

In his interview, Jax says he swore he’d never be at SUR when he turned 40, and at 40, he’s still there. Tom comes in, hungover and struggling. Jax suggests the hair of the dog. Raquel sees Scheana outside in the back, and Scheana says Raquel looked cute at Tom’s party. Raquel says Scheana looked hot, and Scheana says she had fun with her whip. Katie calls Raquel, and invites her to wine night tomorrow with the ladies. Raquel says she’d love to. In Raquel’s interview, she says, Katie has never been intentionally mean to her, but she’s never gone out of her way to be kind either. Scheana wonders how it’s going to be with Lala, and tells Raquel that she’ll have friends there. She can mediate if need be.

Brett has invited Scheana to make a YouTube video with him. In his interview, he says he does personal training, and has been successful on YouTube by being his authentic self. A lot of women follow him. He tells Scheana that he thinks women will identify with her, and what she’s been through as a young divorcee. He trusts her and she’s a friend. Scheana thinks they’ll become better friends, because this woman cannot take no for an answer. He thinks she’s awesome, but says he’d never want to hurt her by making her think there’s something that’s not there. He looks at her like a guy friend. Scheana, who only hears what she wants to, says, who knows; maybe one day. In Brett’s interview, he says he loves her as a person, but has no intention of taking he home. Scheana suggests they see where the world takes them.

Schwartz goes to Tom’s place, where Max has arrived ahead of him. In Tom’s interview, he says, people give him a hard time about not having furniture, but they have a couch and a credenza. They’re good. Tom says, it’s Jax’s birthday, and Brittany is taking him out to lunch. Now that they have houses, it’s open to the possibility of TP’ing them. Schwartz says, talking about it ruins it; it has to be spontaneous. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he’s all for a good prank, but because of the dynamic between Tom and Jax, he doesn’t know if they’re in a good enough place for that. Schwartz says he can’t do it today, as Tom pours beer in a funnel. He doesn’t mind pissing Jax off, but not on his birthday. Tom wants Schwartz to funnel beer, and Schwartz asks, what for? Tom says, for Jax, and Schwartz says, Jax isn’t here. Tom points to his heart, and says, Jax is here. In Max’s interview, he says Tom wants to beer bong and TP a house in the afternoon, but he has to go to work. He doesn’t think it’s the best idea. They sit by the pool, and Tom brings out shots. They toast to Jax’s birthday. Schwartz thinks instead of pranking Jax, they should lift him up, and show how much they love him. Tom says he’ll be back in fifteen, and Schwartz says, what if it rains? Tom and Max leave, but Schwartz stays behind. He can’t, he won’t, and he’s not doing it.

Tom and Max TP Jax’s house, and Tom says, it feels good. In Max’s interview, he thinks Tom is releasing some frustration against Jax; he’s fired up. The leave OLD FART in toilet paper letters on the street in front of the house. Jax and Brittany come home to trees laden with toilet paper, and Jax says, WTF? Are you effing kidding me? Who does that? Brittany says, what the hell is this? Jax sees the message, and says, these a-holes. This is going to suck. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s not that funny. He knows one of his friends did it, but doesn’t know which one.

Jax starts making calls. Tom says he didn’t have anything to do with it, and claims they got him too, and shows Jax his front yard with a few streams of toilet paper hanging from a tree. In Toms’ interview, he says, there are three things you need to get away with a prank. Confidence, an alibi with plausible details – Jax says it doesn’t look like as much in Tom’s yard, and Tom says they must have hit Jax’s house first –  and a couple of gullible friends. Brittany says Schwartz swears he didn’t do it. Jax says he knows Beau did it. Brittany shows Stassi the yard, and Stassi says, it’s so insane. In his interview, Jax says he’s going to find how who did this, and get them back.

Scheana tells Brett she went home with some guy from Tom’s party, but not the one she came with. She’s excited to be YouTube’ing with him. He sets up the camera, and says he’s there with a good friend; a homie. He introduces Scheana, and says she’s 34, and looks great. She highly recommends Botox. He says, she’s a middle-aged woman, and in her interview, Scheana wonders in what world she’s considered middle-aged. I too, am wondering. Brett says she’s been married and divorced, and she’s freezing her eggs, because right now, she’s not trying to have a baby. She says she’s not getting in another relationship or getting married unless the guy blows her mind. She’s been dating f***boys, and it’s fun. Brett says, you attract the energy you put out, and asks if she’s a f***girl. In Scheana’s interview, she wonders why she’s doing this interview. He stops filming, and she says she can be happy, single, and getting laid, or fat desperate and looking for love. I guess there’s no in-between? She says she doesn’t want a relationship. He calls her middle-aged again, and she says he keeps aging her. He clearly doesn’t know the definition because she has at least another ten to fifteen years. I get the feeling Brett isn’t the brightest bulb in the box, which is saying a lot since Scheana is no Einstein either.

Lisa explains to her housekeeper that she’s going to her mother’s funeral, staying one more day, and then coming back. In Lisa’s interview, she says the funeral was delayed, and it’s been overwhelming. Puffy! She tells Puffy not to be nervous. She’s going to call her other rescue boy, and see how he’s doing.

James asks Raquel what she’s going to say at the wine party when Lala comes at her. It’s going to be a feeding frenzy. Lisa calls, and asks if he’s doing okay, and he says he’s doing really well. He has a meeting tonight. She says she’s going out to London tomorrow, and just because she’s on the other side of the world, doesn’t mean she won’t know what’s going on. He says he’s taking it seriously. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t need another child, but James’s vulnerability tugs at her heartstrings. She’s invested a little in helping to get him there, and he’s going to do it. I want her to adopt me.

Katie makes charcuterie boards for the party. Stassi says, a lot of people are coming; Kristen is going to sh*t her pants. Katie says, life goes on without her, and Stassi says she understands Katie’s logic, but Kristen won’t.

Scheana can’t wait to call Kristen, and give her the news. Kristen says she’s prepping for Jax’s birthday party, and Scheana whines that Brett called her middle-aged. She tells Kristen that she’s heading over to Katie’s for girls wine night. Kristen says, that’s precious. Katie is her wine partner, and not inviting her. Scheana says, Katie has literally invited all of SUR. I forgot to mention, literally is literally every other word with this group, and I’m literally tired of it. If it was a drinking game, we’d be smashed in the first ten minutes of the show. Kristen asks if Lisa is going to be there, and Scheana says Lisa is in London for her mother’s funeral, but maybe she was invited. In Kristen’s interview, she feels like this is bullsh*t. Katie wants crazy Kristen, so she can justify it. She tells her dogs that they’re her two best friends. Which I actually (literally?) don’t think is a bad thing.

The girls start arriving. In her interview, Dayna says she grew up on Mad Dog 2020, and vodka from a box (is that a thing?), so she’ll drink whatever’s there. Scheana says she came in her pajamas; it’s been a long day. She did a YouTube video with Brett, and he called her middle-aged. Stassi says, he’s only two years younger than Scheana. They toast to girls night.

At TomTom, Max tells Tom, everything is good. Jax arrives, and says, the party’s here.

Brittany tells the girls that they’re having Jax’s birthday party at Rocco’s. It’s going to be an 80s theme.

Tom gives Jax a paper shopping bag. Jax takes out some toilet paper. In his interview, he says, if Tom wants to surprise him, show up with a fifth of vodka. There will be consequences.

Brittany wonders who TP’d the house. Jax thinks it’s Beau and Stassi. Stassi thinks it’s Tom, but Ariana says someone came to her house too. Brittany is still friends with Kristen, and asks if they’re still going to be able to hang out. Katie says they still have a wine inventory, but the friendship is off. Lala talks to Scheana on the porch, and says Raquel should feel lucky to be graced with her presence. In Lala’s interview, she wants Raquel to stay in her lane, and let people like her run sh*t. Lala goes inside, and says she wants to have a real talk with Raquel. Because a party is definitely the place to do that. She says she pulled Raquel aside because she as genuinely concerned about James, and wanted to make sure he was okay. Raquel says Lala turned it into an ugly thing, and focused on Logan. Lala says she was speaking; let her finish. Raquel forgot her place, but Lala will steer her back. Raquel says, Logan is obsessed with James. In her interview, she says, this is raw Lala. Lala sees her as vulnerable, and preys on it. If they can’t all agree Lala is a bully, they can agree she’s a bitch. Lala says she set up James with studio sessions, and wouldn’t say anything if she didn’t care. In Charli’s interview, she thinks maybe Lala still likes James, but you can secretly still like someone and secretly hate their girlfriend. I don’t see Lala as still being interested in James that way, but okay. Raquel says, James didn’t drink, and Lala says she’s missing the point, and ran off after she told Lala STFU. At her worst, Raquel is like a yapping chihuahua. Raquel says, Lala is a Rottweiler, and Lala says, no; she’s a Pitbull. Brittany says, they’re scaring her, and Stassi laughs. Lala tells Stassi, stay in her bubble. In Stassi’s interview, she says Lala is her girl, but right now, she has no leg to stand on. Lala says, don’t project on her what they want her to reflect. Huh?

In the car, Raquel tells James that she’s tired; it was a lot of wine. It was awkward. She and Lala argued, and everyone else was quiet. It’s been a week. James says it was weird before the meeting; he felt overwhelmed. He hasn’t shared yet. In his interview, he says he wasn’t sure what to expect, but he’s in a room full of cool people who have realized alcohol isn’t a cool solution to problems. Raquel drives him to a meeting.

Everyone gathers for Jax’s birthday party. Brittany thinks it’s weird how Jax wanted a theme, but he’s not willing to dress up for anyone else’s. Jax comes in looking like a poor man’s Brett Michaels. In his interview, he says he’s a huge 80s buff; it’s his decade. He would have dressed like this anyway. Tom gives Jax a gift, and it’s a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. In Tom’s interview, he says when he, Schwartz, and Jax lived together, they watched Step Brothers all the time, and the Will Ferrell character has a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. He called Randy’s assistant and had it signed. A producer asks what Jax got Tom for his birthday, and he says, um… He doesn’t think Jax got him anything. Schwartz gives Jax a fake, very lifelike, female foot. In his interview, Schwartz says, Jax likes dirty, filthy, stinky feet. He’s worried there’s a paper trail leading to him buying the foot, and he’s now on a list. Jax tells Brittany that she’s been replaced. Brittany tells Kristen, it was weird with her not being at wine night. It was fun, but crazy. In Kristen’s interview, she says Stassi and Katie were her L.A. family, and she doesn’t understand how you can cut family out. The point is that you stick together no matter what. She tells Brittany, they don’t want anything to do with her. Brittany says she sees both sides, but Kristen doesn’t know what their side is. She’s said things she didn’t mean and apologized, but she thinks they say things they mean.

Raquel waits for James after the meeting. When he gets in the car, he tells her that he shared for the first time. Raquel says, that’s amazing, and in James’s interview, he says his persona is DJ James, the life of the party. It’s been seven years of non-stop partying. Being vulnerable is difficult for him, and it’s going to be a day by day thing. He tells Raquel he was nervous. He felt like she did back in the day, giving a speech to her college class. He’s blessed to have figured it out now.

Randall tells Jax that when you’re in the 40 club with him, it’s not about TP’ing a house. He’s a prank specialist, and tonight a prank cop car is going to be pulling up at Tom’s house and arresting him for vandalism. They’re going to cuff him, put him in the car, then they’ll jump out and say it’s a prank. Lala tells Jax his birthday gift is happening tonight. In her interview, she says, Randall is a prankster specialist. He’s done over 100 films, and pulled a prank on all of them. It’s always epic. Randall says, no one can know.

At Tom’s house, Ariana says she rented a table and chairs. She thinks she might want to stick with rented furniture, since she doesn’t trust anyone not to eff up her house, including Tom. The guests arrive, and she says, RIP her house. Jax brings his own chair, since he won’t sit on the cushions. They have cat hair on them, and he hates cat hair. He yells for music, when two cops come in, and ask to talk to Tom. They pat Tom down, and Jax acts shocked. The cops take Tom outside, and in Jax’s interview, he says they’re genius actors, and look like real cops. For a second, Jax thought he was in trouble. One of the cops asks what Tom knows about a vandalism report, but Tom says he didn’t do anything. The guests move outside, and Schwartz is sure it has to do with parking tickets. The cops tell them to stand back, and put Tom in the car. Ariana asks what it’s about, and one of the cops tells her, it’s about vandalism. Jax insists he didn’t say anything, but one of his neighbors may have. In his interview, Jax says, this is how you do a prank when you’re an adult. Tom will never be number one. He tells Ariana, he didn’t call anyone; it wasn’t him. Randall goes over to the car, and tells Tom, here’s the thing. When you f*** with Jax on his birthday, you f*** with them. Lala says he got them all, and they dance around and high-five each other. Ariana says her heart is beating out of her chest.

Jax thanks the actors, and Katie says she hates them all. Scheana tells Tom that he’s really sweating. In Katie’s interview, she says she doesn’t think it’s funny. Just turn on the news. She asks if she’s the only one who thinks it’s not funny, and Jax says, Tom’s not mad, and that’s all that matters. In Tom’s interview, he says it was one of the best pranks ever, and he’s honored to have it pulled on him. Ariana says she understands where Katie is coming from. In Ariana’s interview, she says some people have a different perspective than others when it comes to their relationship with the police. Joking around like that is in poor taste. Tom says, it’s not a big deal. Katie says they can’t expect no one to react, and Schwartz tells her to shut up. She says she doesn’t think it’s funny, but Schwartz says it was a great moment. They’re laughing, and no one gives a sh*t about her opinion. Tom tells him not to talk to his wife that way.

Katie wonders if she’s the only person who associates this with something really terrible, and Ariana says she gets where Katie is coming from. Schwartz says he’s never been more turned off in his life. This is why he doesn’t have sex with her. Beau says, don’t do this, and Schwartz says he’s not looking for Beau to agree with him; she’s a moron. In Beau’s interview, he says, it’s one thing to have a drunken argument with your significant other – he’s experienced that – but the way Schwarz is talking is venom. In Katie’s interview, she says, the last time Schwartz spoke to her like that was in Mexico. We flash back to Schwartz saying her voice is a cacophony. She says, the only difference is, this time he’s being mean and degrading in front of all their friends. Schwartz walks out, calling Katie an idiot, and Tom says Schwartz is being an a-hole. Schwartz tells Katie, let’s go, but she says she’s not going with him.

Next time, Beau tells Stassi that he’s doing everything on his time, Schwartz says things are still tense, and Brett wants to hang out with Dayna.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Ian asks if there’s any chance Alex had his baby. Talk to him. She says, no, and he says he’s not judging. She says, goodbye, and starts to walk, but he calls her back. She says she doesn’t want to talk about this, and tries to go into her house, but the door is locked. She says she left her keys, but he says he has them. She asks what the hell is wrong with him? and he says she left them on the grass. She says she doesn’t want to wake her kids up; give her the keys. He says he wants answers. Can the baby be his? She says, that’s impossible; they never slept together. He asks if she really wants to do this. He knows a lawyer. Don’t make him go that route and request a DNA test. She asks why he’d do that, and he says he wants answers; that’s all. She asks if he’d really get a court order, and he says, if he has a child out there, he would. She says, no way the baby is his, and he asks how she knows. She says they only had sex once.

He says she’s admitting it, but she says she doesn’t want to talk there. He suggests they go in her house, but she says, no. She’d rather go to his. They go inside, and it’s not unlike Tom’s house on Vanderpump Rules, since he has no furniture yet. He says, so? She says, it was her, and he thanks her for being honest. She says the baby’s not his, and he says, he gets it. He doesn’t want it to be either, but they should know. Alex says she doesn’t need this now, and Ian says, him neither. He asks if she wants a drink, and she says she does. He brings out a box, and says he wants her to promise first that she’ll talk. She starts to cry, and he asks if she’s okay. She cries harder, and tells him, just find the alcohol. She doesn’t care what it is at this point.

Natalie feels bad, but Lushion says, Alex made her bed; it’s done. He looks out the window, and says, what the hell? Someone is over at Kelly’s. He’s going to check, and she tells him, be careful. He tells her to stay there, and goes outside. He sees a man holding a paper bag, and looking in Kelly’s front window. He draws his gun. He tells the guy, put his hands up and put the bag down. The guy says he lives there, but Lushion says he doesn’t. He says he’s just moving in, and Lushion says, somebody else lives there. What’s his name? The guy says, Durrell; he’s Justice’s father. Lushion asks if he’s got ID, and Durrell says it’s in his back pocket. Lushion says, slowly, and Durrell holds out his wallet. Lushion looks at the ID, and puts away his gun. He asks why Durrell is snooping around, and Durrell says his mother told him that Kelly left the key; he knows the alarm code. Lushion asks if Justice can ID him, but he says Justice doesn’t really know him. Lushion tells him, hands behind his back. Keep it easy, and they’ll clear this up. Lushion cuffs him, and says, relax; take a seat. Durrell sits on the curb, and Lushion calls Natalie, asking her to come out. He meets her halfway, and she asks, what’s going on? He says the guy says he’s Justice’s father. Does she know him? She says, no, but he looks like Justice. Lushion says, he just got out of jail, and she asks how he knows. Lushion says, slippers and a paper bag. She says Kelly did tell her that he was in jail, but Justice doesn’t know him. He asks if Kelly said anything about leaving a key, and she says Kelly did say she was worried and told him he could move in. Maybe it is him. Lushion tells her, stay there. He asks Durrell if he’s got proof he knows Kelly, and Durrell says there are pictures in his wallet. Lushion looks at them, and says, that’s a long time ago. Durrell says he’s been away a while, and Lushion unlocks the cuffs. He asks if Durrell was in jail. Durrell says, yeah, and Lushion says, yes, sounding like Judge Judy. He says he can’t let Durrell in until he finds out it’s okay. Durrell asks where he’s supposed to go tonight; he just got out, and doesn’t have money. Lushion says he can’t let Durrell in until he makes sure he’s supposed to stay there. In a couple hours it will be daylight, and he can come back. If Kelly says it’s okay, he’ll let Durrell in. If Durrell was Lushion, he’d do the same thing. Durrell picks up his bag, and says, all right. He strolls off, and Natalie says, Lushion isn’t letting him in? Lushion says he thought she was from the hood. She says she is, but she thinks it’s him. Lushion says, Kelly has been through enough. One night at a bus station won’t kill him. She says, that’s cold. She feels bad, but Lushion says he doesn’t.

Ian says Alex doesn’t want another, does she? She says she does, and he says, it’s strong, but she says she doesn’t care. He thinks she needs to lay off the liquor, but she thinks he needs to stop telling her what to do. He says she’s drunk, and she says he’s not drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says, fair enough, and they clink glasses. She says she remembered him the moment she saw him, but was hoping he wouldn’t remember. He asks, why? Because she was married? She says, it’s not that. She hates being a wife (surprising us all), but she’s not a bad person. He tells her, he didn’t say she was, and she says she doesn’t want kids. He says she has three, and she says, because she did everything her father, mother, and Brad wanted her to do. She felt trapped, so every time Brad was at work, and she was supposed to be at a PTA meeting or whatever, she met men like him. He asks, how many? and she says, a lot. Go ahead. Judge all he wants. He says he’s not; it’s fine. She says she never wanted this life. She didn’t want to be married. She wanted to be an actress. He says she’s pretty damn good, and she says she has to be now. Her father told her it was stupid, and she should get married and have babies because she had no talent and no chance. That was after he raped her every night. Ian is shocked, and she says he wanted to talk; let’s talk – about all of it. She pours herself some more, saying, she grew up with a backwoods country-ass way of thinking. Her mother actually said it was okay. He says he’s so sorry, and she says she watched her family nearly murder Black people. They hated that she went to school with them. Ian says maybe she was sleeping with Black men to get back at them, but she says, it has nothing to do with that. She thinks they’re beautiful, and loves how their skin is gorgeous and soft. He says, no more for her, and she says he’s right. No more talking about this bullsh*t; she’s done. He says she’s not doing anything stupid, and she says, why the hell should she deal with this, raising Brad’s kids. He says they’re her kids too, but she says she’s tired of all this sh*t. She’s had enough. She’s going to be free, and go do whatever she wants with whoever she want to do it with. He says when she wakes up sober, she’s going to realize she said too much. She asks why he isn’t drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says he’s buzzed, but she says, not enough; drink. She downs hers, and he moves the empty glass away. He suggests she let him take her home, but she says she doesn’t want to go right now. He says, what about her kids? and she says, they’re fine with the babysitter. He takes her hands, and she pulls him toward the kitchen island. She says, please, she wants this. It was so good; she wants to do it again. She unzips his pants, and gets on her knees. He says, no, but…

Larry gets home, bringing along another guy, and Eddie is waiting. He says, what are you ladies up to? and Larry says Eddie was there ahead of him, and knows when he left. The other guy goes inside, and Eddie asks who this one is. Larry says Eddie isn’t ready for that. Why is he there? Eddie says he wants to talk about some things. Andrew, Joe, and Pete. Larry asks if he’s been drinking, and Eddie says, more than drinking. He did some good blow tonight. Larry says he must be pretty high, and Eddie says he could say that. He saw Larry’s wife leaving; is there a problem? Larry says she goes to the country house on weekends, and he brings home the boys when she’s gone. Eddie thinks it’s sick, twisted sh*t, and Larry says, it is; they love it. Almost as much as they love each other. What does Eddie want? To come in? Eddie says, hell no, and Larry asks why Eddie is wasting his time. Eddie says he’s there to find out about those specific names, and Larry asks what he wants to know. Eddie asks if they’re with the FBI, and Larry says he doesn’t know. Eddie asks if Larry is playing games with him, and Larry says he doesn’t play games. He invites Eddie in again, but Eddie says he’s not into that kinky sh*t. Larry says Eddie is pretty sick too. It was the last reason Eddie was there, and the only reason he’s there now. He gave Eddie the privilege of taking control and making him beg. He respects that. Is Eddie ready to beg? Let him know. Eddie acts mad at the world, but what he wants is to be punished. Let Larry punish him. He’ll make him feel so bad by making him feel good. Eddie says the only reason he’s there is Esperanza and the dudes who came against him. Nothing is going to stop him. Larry says, sounds like fun, and Eddie says, keep pushing him, and see how much fun he is. Larry says he can’t wait, and goes inside.

A nurse whose name I can’t remember, tells Rick to go home. He says he wants to talk to her about Kelly. She’s back in jail, and going through a hard time. She says she’s not helping any more, and don’t tell Kelly to fake chest pains. He asks if she doesn’t talk to Sister Margaret, the chaplain. Did Margaret tell her the names of the girls? She says she’s not talking to him, and starts to walk away, but he grabs her arm. He says, they got her too, but she says she’s not talking. He gives her a piece of paper, and says, it’s Lushion’s phone number. Help them. She says that church is crazy, and they know everyone; the mayor, the garbageman, even her ex=boyfriend. She can’t tell him anything. He says she can’t let Kelly go down, but she says she doesn’t know Kelly, and Kelly shot him. Rick says she doesn’t know what he did to Kelly, and she says not to use her name. He says, fine, coward, and she says, call her whatever he wants. She’s not messing with that church. On second thought, if he takes her out and buys her some drinks, maybe she’ll talk. He tells her, bring her dancing shoes and a nice dress.

Margaret visits Kelly, but Kelly says she doesn’t want to talk to her. Margaret says she wants to say a prayer, and the guard lets her in. Kelly tells her, get away from her cell. The guard leaves, and Kelly calls him back, but he ignores her. Margaret tells Kelly, come sit, but Kelly says she won’t. Margaret says, before the guard comes back, and Kelly sits. She asks what Margaret wants, and Margaret says she’s helping Kelly; praying for her. Kelly laughs, and Margaret hands her a Bible, telling her, read this. It’s her gift to Kelly. Margaret calls to the guard, and Kelly says she knew Margaret didn’t want to pray; hypocrites. Margaret tells her, open the bible, and she does. Kelly flips through it, and takes out several pictures. She looks on the backs of them, and Margaret says, God bless you. Wrong is wrong, and she is praying. Kelly thanks her, and hugs her. Margaret says, she’s going to be all right, and when she is, don’t look back. It’s time for Kelly to get back to church. Get back to praying and believing again. She’s stronger than all this. Stop being sorry for herself and being a victim. Take it by force. The kingdom suffers violence, and the violent take it by force (Matthew 11:12). Kelly says she hears her, and Margaret says, good. God bless her.

Tanya and husband Bennett watch TV. Tanya asks Bennett why he keeps looking out. (Refresher: Bennett trashed Randall’s house at the end of last season.) She says, stop looking at him. He’s looked enough at her already. Bennett says he’ll tell Randall to stop, but she says he’s not going to. She already told him to stop. Bennett says he can make Randall stop, and she asks, how? He says he just will, and she says, like in the last neighborhood? He tore that man’s house apart. He says they were talking about her, and she says he can’t get mad. She gives them enough to talk about. He tells her, don’t worry. Randall won’t bother her again, but she says he’s not the kind that will stop. Bennett says, he will, and she says she’s going to bed. He tells her that he’s staying up a little. He promises Randall won’t bother her. He looks out the window.

Steven and Esperanza cuddle on the couch. He says, it’s her night, and she says, after they watched his movie. He asks if she wants him to stay because of Eddie, or because she wants him to stay. She asks if she looks afraid. He says he’ll stay every night, or he can be out sleeping in his car. She says that would defeat the purpose, and he says he can sleep on the couch. She tells him, read between the lines. She wants him to stay in her bed, naked. He says, as good as it sounds, he doesn’t want her kicking him out in an hour. She says he’s living in the past. She wants to spend time together, and not worry about what happened before. He says, what about her daughter? and she says she’s been thinking about that. The best thing is for her to bring her daughter to her mom’s until this thing with Eddie is over. Does he want drive up there to Columbus? He says they’ve got themselves a road trip, and they kiss. He gets a text, and she makes him give her the phone. She reads, what’s up, stud? and asks who Anna is. He asks if she’s jealous, and she says, a little bit, and deletes Anna’s number because she doesn’t like her name. He says he doesn’t think his sister is going to like that. She wants him to call his sister, and he says, no. He’s sleepy, and they’re not exclusive. They’re just enjoying each other very much. They get busy.

Randall calls Marcie, who answers, yes? He asks if that’s all she’s got to say. She destroyed his house. She asks what he’s talking about, and he asks if she got Brad to do it. She says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. She only picked up because she likes to taunt him. He says she did more than that, and she says he’s talking crazy. He tells her, don’t hang up, but she says, bye. A car parks in front of Randall, and Brad gets out and goes inside.

Brad asks if Marcie is okay. She says she is, but Randall keeps calling. He asks why she keeps answering, and she says she likes to taunt him. He says she shouldn’t do that. He asks if Randall has been there, and she says, no; why would he be? Brad says, someone destroyed Randall’s house, but she says she doesn’t know what happened. He tells her that Alex signed the divorce papers. That means he can officially pursue her. He kisses her, and she says she hasn’t seen his full court press. She tells him, she’s starving, and he says he’ll make something. He gets up, but his phone rings. He says it’s Chelsea, his babysitter, and he asks, what’s going on? Chelsea says his wife was supposed to be back hours ago, and she has to leave. She tried calling, but Alex isn’t answering. He asks if the kids and baby are asleep, and she tells him they are. He says he’ll be right over. He tells Marcie that Alex still isn’t home, and she says Alex is probably trying to trick him, but he says she knows better than that. She asks if he’s going, and he says he has to. Otherwise, the kids will be there by themselves. She tells him to try Alex again, but he gets voicemail, and hangs up. Marcie tells him to try from the landline, but he still gets voicemail. Marcie calls and leaves a message that Alex’s kids are looking for her. Where the hell are you, bitch? Brad says, she’s not helping, and Marcie thinks Alex knows they’re together. He tells her to relax; it’s about his kids. She apologizes for making it about her, and he leaves. She says, bitch.

Randall sees Brad leave. Marcie says she hopes the bitch is dead, and calls Alex. She says Alex thinks she’s going to win this thing by dragging Brad out in the middle of the night, but it’s not going to work, ho. She hangs up, but decides to fill up Alex’s damn voicemail. Randall watches as Brad pulls away. He gets out of the car, and goes in the side door. He knocks, and Marcie asks if Brad forgot his key. Randall busts in, and grabs Marcie.

Next time, Esperanza finds Eddie in bed with her and Steven; Kelly tells Lushion the Bible had pictures of women and information on settlements in it; and Lushion and Brad go to Ian’s house looking for Alex.

😥 Sniff…

It looks like this will be the final season of If Loving You is Wrong. After we waited a year. It’s like Game of Thrones all over again.

🏥 Scheduling Details…

The skinny on how GH is handling this new normal.

🧼 On a High…

More than one kind of soap seems to be popular these days.

📯 FYI, Andy Cohen is apparently none the worse for the wear, and back at work, doing Watch What Happens Live from his home office.

😴 Good Thing I Don’t Need Sleep…

Oh, wait… Stay safe out there.

March 30, 2020 – By Whatever Means Necessary, a Hungry Hungry Hippo & Tonight


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

In the park, Sam asks Alexis to please call her back. She was totally out of line, and wants to apologize. Molly comes by and asks, apology for what? Sam says she was unfair to their mom last night.

Chase brings Jason into the station, and says the Commissioner asked him to bring Jason in for questions about the warehouse explosion. Jason says he has nothing to say without his attorney, and Chase says, no surprise. She’ll be right with him.

Franco and Cameron walk in the park. Franco asks Cameron how practice was, and Cameron says, good. Franco says, maybe now they’ll have a chance to talk. How is he doing? Cameron wonders if his mom wants to find out how his session went, but Franco says Elizabeth has utter respect for his privacy. Him, not so much. Tell him everything

Trina shows up at the gallery, and Ava says, please don’t tell her that she skipped school. She’s afraid of Trina’s mother. Trina says, there’s no school today, and Ava asks if Trina has nothing better to do. Trina says she does have plans. That’s the problem.

Curtis walks into Jordan’s office with her, and says, it’s nice that Taggert was added to the Roll of the Fallen at the PCPD. She says, now she’s about to expose the worst thing he did, but Curtis says she’s exposing him to save TJ’s life. He knows she has a meeting with Internal Affairs. It’s tough, but she’ll have to pull through the conversation. She says she knows what she needs to do, but throwing her team under the bus, when she’s just as guilty? She hates that.

Sonny goes into the examining room where Portia is with Mike, and says he’s bringing Mike some decent coffee. He tells Portia, no offense, but she says she’s never worked in a hospital with drinkable coffee. Josslyn comes in, and Sonny says, look who it is. Josslyn says she brought cards. She was hoping Mike could help her play solitaire, since he’s better at it than she is. Sonny tells Portia that he understands Mike is disoriented, but thinks he’ll be better when he goes back to Turning Woods. Portia says she’s afraid there’s been a new development.

Carly, Bobbie, Michael, Sasha, and Willow sit in the waiting room. Sonny has brought coffee for everyone, and Carly says he went to spend time with Mike. Willow wonders when Wiley will be out of surgery, and Bobbie says, surgery needs time and precision, especially with small children. All that matters is that Wiley is getting the help he needs. Sasha is glad Nelle had the good sense to sign the consent form, and asks what they think changed Nelle’s mind.

Elizabeth goes out on the roof, and sees someone lying under a tarp. She says, oh my God, and finds Nelle underneath it. She shakes Nelle, and says she needs Nelle to wake up. Nelle opens her eyes, and Elizabeth props her up. Nelle says, the door wouldn’t open; she was screaming for hours. Elizabeth says, Nelle was out there all night? How did that happen? Nelle says, Carly.

Curtis tells Jordan, she’s turning Taggert and the others in so they can get Cyrus’s sentence overturned and get TJ back. Then they’ll go from there, and they’ll stop Cyrus for good. For now, stay strong. Taggert would understand. Chase comes in, and tells Jordan that Jason is in the interrogation room. Jordan asks if there were any problems, and Chase says Jason isn’t talking without his attorney, and Diane is going to make sure he says nothing. She says she’s got this, and she’ll let him know if she needs him. Curtis’s phone dings, and he says Portia texted him. She just started at GH, and wants to meet if he has a minute. He wonders what she wants, and Jordan says, there’s one way to find out. They hug, and he says she’s got this.

Trina tells Ava that she had some free time, and didn’t want to hang out at home. What can she do? Ava is sure she can come up with something, but says Trina doesn’t have to work to talk to her. She’s there for Trina. Trina says, thanks, but she’s fine. She asks how Nikolas is, and Ava says, it sounds like maybe Trina doesn’t want to go where she’s planning on going later. Does she want a note from her boss, excusing her from a boring activity? Trina says, it won’t be boring, and Ava asks if somebody is trying to get her to do what she doesn’t want to. Trina says, it’s nothing like that. She’s meeting with Cameron, and thinks she messed everything up.

Franco asks Cameron if it’s too personal or too parental, but Cameron says therapy isn’t the biggest thing on his mind. He has to sort something out. Franco is glad Cameron has good friends like Josslyn and Trina, although Trina is going through a hard time. Cameron says he thinks he made it worse when he kissed her.

Sam tells Molly, she said horrible things to their mom. Molly says Alexis called her voicemail, and she did that thing where she’s trying to sound okay, but she’s upset. Sam says she doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut. Molly says, Sam’s whole life exploded in her face and Sam is devastated. She gets it. Sam apologizes, saying Molly’s life is blowing up, and she’s the one going on. She didn’t even ask if Molly or TJ’s mom have heard from TJ. Did TJ’s mom say anything? Molly says she didn’t ask. When she got to Jordan’s place, Sonny and Jason were just leaving.

Jordan goes to the interrogation room, and says, it worked; they don’t suspect. She’s been running the story in her head all night. He says, take him through it, just to be sure.

Sonny asks Portia, what’s going on with his father? Portia says his vitals are fine, but when an orderly tried to put him in a wheelchair, Mike’s legs wouldn’t support him. There’s no medical reason; he responds to stimuli and his reflexes are normal. She thinks he’s refusing to walk, and Sonny asks, why? She says sometimes patients who are unsteady on their feet refuse to walk for fear of falling. Sonny says she told him that Mike wasn’t showing any signs of his wrist being hurt. What if he’s in pain, and can’t say? Portia says they can run a test to make sure Mike isn’t in pain. She leaves, and Josslyn sets up the cards.

Bobbie excuses herself, while Michael, Sasha, and Willow talk about how Wiley’s favorite thing to do is stairs. Carly says, it was the same with Michael. Sonny’s old penthouse had a lot of stairs, and every time they took their eyes off of him, he’d be racing up them. Elizabeth pushes Nelle in a wheelchair, and Michael asks, what happened? Nelle says, his mother happened. The bitch tried to kill her.

Curtis goes to Portia’s office, and she thanks him for coming. He asks why she needed to see him, and she says, to apologize about Trina. He says, Trina is a grieving teenager. If she wants to be mad at him, he can take it. Portia says she wanted to apologize again for herself too. She knows it was wrong not to tell him she was married when they got together. She had so much going on… He says, it was a lifetime ago, and she says Taggert never found out about their affair, so it remains a secret. Curtis says, it’s not a secret. He told his wife everything.

Ava tells Trina, when it comes to messing up, she has more experience than she cares to admit. Go ahead; tell her what happened. Trina says Cameron is in love with Josslyn, but Josslyn doesn’t know it. Cameron didn’t either. They were fake dating to make Oscar jealous, but she could tell by the look on his face that it wasn’t fake. He still insisted he wasn’t, but she knew. And even though Josslyn doesn’t realize it, she has it in for Cameron too. That’s good, and Trina is happy; she wants that for them. In the meantime, her dad died and she got mixed up. Cameron is the only one who understood, and they got into a conversation. Ava asks if they kissed.

Franco says he thought Cameron liked Josslyn, and Cameron says they’ve known each other forever. One time, they were fake dating, and he thought she might have feelings for him, but then Oscar got sick. Franco says, and Cameron backed up because they were friends. Cameron says, friends is the operative word. Then Trina got in the mix. Franco asks how that happened, and Cameron says, because he kissed her. Franco asks if it changed how he feels about Josslyn.

Sam wonders why Sonny and Jason were at Jordan’s apartment. That’s unusual. Molly says she thought so too. What does Sam suppose they were doing there? Sam says she and Jason aren’t able to talk without violating her parole, so she has no idea what he’s up to.

Jason asks why Jordan is now bringing the issue to IA? and she says, after Taggert’s death, she reviewed his records. She was shocked to find proof that evidence was fabricated against Cyrus that led to his conviction. She tells Jason that she feels like she’s obviously nervous, and Jason says, she is, but it totally makes sense. She doesn’t want to tarnish Taggert’s memory, but she uncovered a discrepancy in the report. She says, it sounds simple, but he says, it’s not. She’s going to let Cyrus out to save her son. She says, and who cares that she’s setting free a major drug trafficker, and Taggert’s memory gets trashed?

Nelle says Carly locked her out on the roof all night. Chase arrives, and asks, what’s going on? and Nelle tells him to please arrest her. He asks, who? and Carly says, apparently her. Nelle is having another one of her delusions. Nelle says, this time, Carly went too far, and Chase asks what Nelle thinks happened. Nelle says, what she knows happened, is she was out on the roof with Michael – Michael says, that much is true – and Carly tried to convince her to sign the consent form. When she refused, Carly locked her on the roof. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know what happened, but she found Nelle on the roof. Chase asks if the door was locked, and Elizabeth says it was. Nelle says, see? It was Carly, and Chase asks if it’s common for the door to be locked. Elizabeth says it is, and Chase says, so it’s possible security locked the door. Nelle says, it wasn’t security; it was Carly. Bobbie says Nelle was there after she talked to Michael, and Elizabeth says, sorry; she has to leave, and gets out while the getting’s good. Nelle says she never left the roof, but Bobbie says she did. When she signed the consent form. Nelle says she never signed it, but Bobbie says, of course (🍷) she did. Carly says Nelle should be proud of herself. She behaved like a caring mother.

Trina tells Ava, it’s not like it was romantic. They’re friends, and it was probably a reaction to trauma. Ava says, that’s a mature realization, and Trina says they talked about that at school. How you react when you experience trauma. They’d been kidnapped, and it’s understandable. Ava asks if Trina ever had feelings for Cameron before the kiss, and Trina says, it wouldn’t matter if she did. Cameron has liked Josslyn forever. Ava says, in that case, kick him to the curb. Trina is too wonderful to be anybody’s second choice.

Cameron tells Franco, he’s liked Josslyn for so long, it’s not funny. She just sees him as a friend. Franco asks if they’ve gone out since Oscar died, and Cameron says, Halloween, but he thinks they’re better off as friends. They sit on a bench, and Franco says, what about Trina? and Cameron says, Trina is amazing. She’s funny, confident, she always tells you what she thinks, and always has your back. Franco says, and she’s super cute. Cameron laughs, and says, she’s a great friend. Franco wonders if Cameron thinks she might want to be something else, and Cameron gets up.

Sam says, so Molly went to Jordan’s to find TJ, and left before she could find out if he was there. Molly says she probably had no business going there. It’s so weird; none of this is like the TJ she’s known and loved. She goes from praying he’ll walk in the door, to throwing his belongings out the door. Sam asks her to sit for a bit, and Molly asks if Sam still has limited contact with Jason, and Sam says, very limited. Her parole officer is watching them like a hawk. Molly says she knows it’s asking a lot, but can Sam see Jason and find out what’s going on for her?

Jordan says, she should take the blame for fabricating the evidence, and Jason says, then what? She goes to prison, and Cyrus goes free. It will be a field day in there. The truth is, the others did the same thing. They knew the risks, and put their careers on the line to take Cyrus down. If they had to choose between their reputations and her son’s life, does she think they’d hesitate? She says, only they would know that. She tells Jason, she has to think about this, and leaves.

Josslyn tries to get Mike to play cards, but he just stares into space. Sonny asks if Mike wants some water. They could lift the bed up, unless he doesn’t want that. He’s trying his best, and knows Mike wants to go back to Turning Woods. Josslyn tells Mike, her dad wanted to come by and visit. Maybe tomorrow he could, and they can play poker. There’s still no response, and Elizabeth comes in with a wheelchair. She tells Sonny, they want to give Mike a chance to do this on his own. She says she bets Mike is tired of being there, and says they’re taking a trip to radiology. She touches Mike, and he freaks a little, yelling, leave him alone.

Nelle says her son can’t have surgery; she won’t allow it. Michael says she did. She went with the doctors’ recommendation, and signed the form. Wiley is in surgery now. Nelle says she never agreed, but Bobbie says, the consent form is in Wiley’s chart. Nelle says it was forged, and she knows who did it. She’ll bring in a handwriting expert. She tells Chase, please arrest Carly for forgery and attempted murder. She could have frozen out there. Sasha says, but she didn’t. Bobbie comes back, and says, the form is missing. Nelle says, wait until judge the judge hears about this. They’ll never see Wiley again. She’s going to get sole custody – if Wiley makes it. Monica joins them, and says she’s glad they’re all there. She has an update on Wiley.

Jordan goes to her office, and takes a phone out of the cupboard. She makes a call, and says, it’s her. She knows she’s not supposed to call… Of course (🍷) it’s the burner phone. She wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important. She’s not sure she can go through with it, and needs to be told it’s okay.

Ava tells Trina, it’s perfectly understandable. She thinks Cameron is a terrific guy. Trina says she knows he’s into Josslyn, and Ava says all she’s saying is, Trina needs to protect herself. There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone you love who loves someone else. Trina asks if that happened to Ava, and Ava says, yes. It’s completely demoralizing, and makes you behave in desperate ways you can’t imagine. Trina deserves so much better. Trina says, so what Ava is saying is, she needs to tell Cameron that the kiss was an accident, a mistake. They’re just friends. Ava tells her, don’t misunderstand. If Trina is over the moon for Cameron, she’s telling her to fight for him, but given the circumstance, if she can walk away, now is the best time to do it.

Franco tells Cameron, being friends is a great way for a relationship to start. He and Cameron’s mom were friends. He loved her for a long time, but he didn’t think someone like her could care for someone like him. He took a chance, but Cameron’s mom took a bigger one, and she makes him happy. Cameron says, they’re adults, with a marriage and kids. He’s still in high school. Franco says, if he could tell Cameron one thing, it would be this. He’s a great kid, and deserves to be happy. Cameron says he and Trina are actually meeting in a bit. So, good talk? Franco says, yeah, and Cameron asks if Franco is going to tell his mom, but Franco says, no.

Portia tells Curtis, she likes Jordan, but supposes they’ll never be friends now. Curtis says, Jordan isn’t the jealous type; he gives her no reason to be. She says, Taggert was Jordan’s partner. She’s bound to feel some type of way about Portia betraying Taggert with him. There’s not enough understanding in the world for that. Curtis says, Jordan has a big job with a lot of responsibility. She can’t afford to take things personally. Portia is afraid Trina will find out. Trina thinks Taggert hung moon. Curtis asks how Trina is, and she says she’s watching Trina closely. Her friends are great, and Trina takes pride in everyone saying her dad died a hero. The PCPD added him to the Roll of the Fallen. Curtis says he saw that today, and she says she wants to take Trina to see it. She can take comfort in knowing her dad is finally getting the recognition he deserves.

Jordan puts the phone back, and there’s a knock at her office door. An officer says the guy from IA is there, and a man comes in. He introduces himself as Detective Cliff Simpson. She says she’s been expecting him, and he suggests they get right to it. She has information regarding the undercover operation that led to Cyrus Renault’s conviction? He’s looked through the folder, and most of it is  redacted. She says she was part of the task force that put Cyrus away.

Mike tells them, don’t touch him, but Elizabeth says, it’s okay; he’s safe. No one is going to hurt him; only help him. Sonny says they shouldn’t have touched him, and Josslyn says, they’re his family. They should be able to help. Sonny says, sometimes you can’t. Josslyn says, Elizabeth has been trained, and knows what to do, but Sonny says, Mike doesn’t see it that way. Josslyn hugs him.

Nelle asks if Wiley is okay. Did he not make it? Carly tells her to stop, and Monica tells them, Dr. Bedlow said the procedure went fine; Wiley came through with flying colors, and is in recovery. Michael hugs Willow, and Monica says, for the time being. The case was more severe than anticipated. Nelle says, so the surgery didn’t work? Monica says, Wiley is more comfortable than before, but is going to need a device installed in his heart that stimulates tissue growth and repairs it. Nelle says, so their illegal surgery didn’t work? and Monica says, illegal? Nelle says, the consent form was forged, and now it’s missing. Carly says she’s sure it will turn up.

Carly asks when they can see Wiley, and Nelle says, how about never? She wants Carly arrested for fraud, forgery, assault, and attempted murder. Carly says, Nelle is alive and well, and they only have her word. Chase says if Nelle insists on having Carly arrested, they’ll both have to come to the station to answer questions. Does Nelle wish to proceed? Michael tells her to take into consideration that she’ll be at the police station when Wiley wakes up, but he’ll be by Wiley’s side. Nelle says she’d only waste her time, since they’ll cover for each other anyway. She’ll sue the hospital. Monica tells her, good luck with that, and Nelle says, from now on, she wants any consent from her in writing and backed up verbally. Monica says, duly noted, and Michael thanks Monica. He hugs Carly, and thanks her for everything. She says, of course (🍷). She has to check on Mike, and as for everything, it will be fine with Wiley.

Portia tells Curtis, Taggert was married to his job long before he married her. She couldn’t reconcile coming in second. Things are different for Curtis and Jordan. They’re both in law enforcement, and understand the sacrifices that have to be made. He says, Jordan is determined to make a difference. Taggert took a risk with Cyrus. Portia says she knows; he told her. He knew she hated the constant worrying, and told her what he could safely tell her, so she didn’t imagine the worst.

Jordan tells Cliff, she was the person on the inside. They acted as distributors to gain information regarding the case. Cliff asks why she revisited the case now after all these years, and she says, the other three on the task force are dead.

Sam calls Jason, and asks where he is. He says he’s just leaving the PCPD; Jordan wanted to talk to him. She says, there was a development last night, and he asks if it’s bad? She says she kind of needs to talk to him face to face.

Cameron waits in the park. Trina arrives, and they smile at each other.

Carly goes to Mike’s room, and Josslyn hugs her. Sonny asks about Wiley, and Carly says, he got through surgery. Sonny says, and the prognosis? but she says they’ll talk later. How’s Mike? He says Mike just got back from a full body scan. They’re trying to figure out why he can’t walk. Carly knows it’s rough on Sonny, and Josslyn says, it’s better now that Carly is there. Sonny agrees.

Portia tells Curtis that her and Taggert’s communication issues didn’t help an already struggling marriage. He tried tell her as much as he could; at least at the beginning. Curtis says, an ongoing investigation is tricky, and Portia knows there was a lot Taggert couldn’t tell her. There was a lot she didn’t want know, but even when they were breaking up, she cared about him, and he did everything he could to reassure her.

Jordan tells Cliff, she needed to understand why they were killed. They’d helped do the impossible, bring Cyrus to justice. Cliff understands that Jordan needs answers, but what does that have to do with Internal Affairs?

Jason says he wants to see Sam too, but they have to be careful. Is she okay? She says, it’s Molly. She hasn’t heard from TJ in a while. Does he know anything? He wonders why she’s asking him, and she says because Molly saw him and Sonny leaving Jordan’s apartment. Why were they there? Jason says, she’s right; they should talk in person. Meet in the usual place. She says she’s on her way.

On the phone, Nelle says she doesn’t care how busy Zara is. She needs to see her now. Carly thinks she won this round, but Nelle is going to get the last word.

Bobbie tells Monica, Wiley got the help he needs for now; that’s the most important thing. Monica says, it all worked for the best. Too bad the form went missing. Bobbie remembers taking the form out of Wiley’s chart, and putting it into the paper shredder. Monica says, good thing Wiley has two great grandmothers looking out for him.

Sasha asks Michael how Wiley is, and he says, Wiley is a champ. Chase says, congratulations, but do him a favor. Never tell him what happened. Willow wonders what about the second surgery, and Michael says it’s all he’s been thinking about. Nelle has proven she can’t have a say in Wiley’s medical decisions. There’s only one solution. He has to win full custody – whatever it takes.

Tomorrow, Laura asks Mac what’s going on, Neil asks if he can help Alexis, and Jordan tells Cliff that they conspired to tamper with evidence.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

On the beach, Jenna asks if Madison has a wine bucket. Madison shakes her head, and Jenna points to the mess of supplies in a jumble, and says, this sh*t can’t be here. She adds that Madison needs to put a bra on. In Madison’s interview, she says, okay, whatever.

Byron borrows Captain Glenn’s glasses, and the captain says they make him look intelligent. Byron asks if he can buy them, and Captain Glenn says, $500. Yana starts getting impatient, and says someone needs to tell the crew that they’re ready to go. Georgia radios Jenna that the guests are ready. Adam thinks they need a whole new set-up. In Jenna’s interview, she says the guests spend tens of thousands to do this. Now they’re sitting on a sh*t pile. It’s embarrassing. Madison says, it’s windy, and Adam suggests moving the table. In his interview, he asks, how hard can it be? Move the chairs out of the wind, put the umbrella in the ground, and get your head out of your ass. Arthur asks for tequila, and Georgia tells him, drink responsibly, but he says he’s not driving. Adam says everything will look better with the umbrella up. In Adam’s interview, he says they talk so much sh*t, but what they’ve been doing for five hours, he doesn’t know.

Paget asks Parker, what happened? and Parker tells him, everyone is doing a good job. He’s staying out of it. Madison whines to Ciara that Jenna is being bitchy. It’s complaint after complaint where it concerns her. Parker wonders about Jenna and Madison getting along for the rest of the season, but Jenna has no words. Back on the boat, Madison grumbles to Georgia that she’s frustrated, and a blood vessel popped in her eye because she’s literally exhausted. The guests get on the tender, while Adam grills on the beach. Georgia radios the guests are on their way, and Jenna says, sounds like a plan. In Adam’s interview, he says he lives for outdoor excursions. His father was a Boy Scout, and so was he. It makes him recall his childhood, and cooking over a fire. He thinks the best food is the least fancy, and it’s not so much about service or presentation, but about taste.

The guests reach the shore, and Adam welcomes them. They think it looks amazing, and sit down. Yana says, they have arrived, and Adam serves local oysters. Guest Carla asks if they’re being served, or do they have to pass it around? Guest CC thinks it’s phenomenal. Back at the boat, Georgia is thrilled that Jenna is trusting her enough to do the party. It’s nice to feel like she’s getting acknowledgement, and it’s a change of pace. Madison cleans the cabins.

Paget tells Jenna that Madison has a super crush on Parker. Jenna says, they’re both irritating, and she and Paget laugh. Georgia decorates with balloons, and dresses up the table. She thinks any self-respecting woman would find it a bit much. Adam serves the entrée, and tells the guests that he loves to cook over a fire. It adds flavor to the food that you can reminisce about. Yana is happy, but Carla is afraid to eat the asparagus because of the way it makes your urine smell. I knew that, but what’s really amusing is, it’s what I’m eating right now. TMI, I know, but what are the odds? It’s time to go, and Jenna tells the guests there are three desserts waiting on boat the boat. Yana says that’s her kind of dessert situation, and I wonder if she means eating them or just looking at them. CC wants to be carried back to the tender, and Paget obliges. Carla wants the same treatment, which is no surprise since she’s a huge baby.

Georgia asks how Madison is doing, and Madison says, great, but not really. The guests come back, and Yana thinks the décor is cute, and the color coordination is beautiful. Arthur tells her, happy birthday, and Georgia is thrilled the guests are pleased. Paget tells Ciara to start getting the sh*t together from the beach. Jenna tells Madison to put everything away, and Madison gripes to Georgia that Jenna is breaking her pretty good. Arthur brings out the cake, while Adam follows with two cobblers. Arthur bends over to kiss Yana, and hits his head on the sail when he stands back up, which is pretty funny. Yana says, it’s the best berry cobbler ever, but again isn’t specific about whether she means the taste or the visual. Ciara tells Paget, it’s hard when they’re the only two on beach clean-up, and asks him for a hand unloading. The guests go to bed. In Madison’s interview, she says she feels like she might like Parker, but… She shrugs. At 4 am, Parker gets up to find a note from Madison – written at 3:10 – and breakfast she made for him. So much for her being so tired.

Georgia reads a note hanging in the laundry to Paget that says, if you’re not Georgia, don’t handle other people’s clothing. Anchor is picked up, the guests get up, and the boat heads out. Arthur asks Captain Glenn if they’ll sail today, and the captain says, probably later. Breakfast is served, and Carla wonders if someone can make her a plate, because it’s so hard. And those are her words, not mine. In Jenna’s interview, she wonders how hard it is for Carla to get up off her ass. Should she chew it up, and baby bird feed it to Carla too? Parker tells Paget and Ciara about Madison making him breakfast and leaving a sweet note. He says she likes him, and Paget says, obviously. In Parker’s interview, he says Madison is his best friend on the boat. She’s his Lil’ Kim. A producer asks what he means, and he says he’d go in a mosh pit with her. Anchor is dropped.

Jenna tells the guests, today’s plan is for water sports and snorkeling. Paget and Ciara put the floating deck out, and Parker tries to school Ciara. The guests ask for a pitcher of pina coladas, and Madison asks Jenna to make them. Parker wants to make a game plan with the guests, and in Ciara’s interview, she says it’s not Parker’s job, but if he wants to put his ideas to the test, she’ll let him. Parker says he’s going to do an island recon, figure out what area is good for snorkeling, and report back. He tells the captain that the guests want him to go underwater and find out where the snorkeling is good. Which is not at all what just happened. The guests look at a parasailer, and CC thinks it looks boring. To their credit, the rest of them just look at her while crickets chirp. Jenna tells Adam that Madison stayed up until 3 am to make breakfast and write a love note for Parker. Adam thinks Madison needs more professionalism, and kisses Jenna.

With Parker still gone, the guests mess around on their phones, and Jenna looks for a backgammon game. Paget radios Parker, and asks what his ETA is, but gets literal radio silence. That’s because Parker is busy enjoying snorkeling. He says he forget how creepy it is by yourself. Apparently not so creepy that he’s not taking his sweet time. He asks a guy passing by if there are any good areas, and the guy points one out. Carla wonders how long it takes, as Parker marvels over a sea turtle. Finally, he radios that he’s on his way back. In his interview, he says, being the James Bond of yachting comes in handy. He doesn’t stop when he’s tired, he stops when he’s done. What is with this guy? He calls Byron, and says the engine temperature is going from 100 to 120, and asks what to do.

In his interview, Parker says he’s out by himself, hoping to make the captain proud, and this sh*t has to go down. Byron explains that the sea water coming through the bottom of the boat goes through a strainer, and tells Parker to check the basket; it’s probably full of sand, and the water can’t get through, so it hasn’t cooled. 85 to 90 is the prime temperature of the engine. It can get damaged if it overheats, and it’s an expensive repair. Yana says, Minecraft is expensive, to no one in particular, and I’m kind of surprised she plays that game. Parker tells Byron the window is so cloudy, he can’t see the basket. Ciara asks if Parker is breaking the tender. Byron tells him to close the valve, and stop the water coming in. In Ciara’s interview, she says, Parker’s confidence level is here – holding her hand up high – and his ability is here – holding her hand way down. Parker tells Byron the  temperature is now 89, and Byron says he’s good to go. In Parker’s interview, he says he’s proud of himself. He now knows how to change a filter. Byron asks Captain Glenn how much Parker’s salary is, and the captain says, he’d be paying for the tender for the rest of his life. His children might have to work toward it. Irritated by the delay, Yana asks Arthur if they can get a portion of their money back. He doesn’t think so, but wishes he had a hammock. I get the vibe that Arthur isn’t too ambitious on this trip. Jenna asks if Georgia would like to perform with Parker at dinner. In Captain Glenn’s interview, he says he’s all about giving the guests the best experience, so as long as Parker found great spot and they have a great time, he’s good. He tells Parker that they’re setting sail at 6 pm, and it’s 4 pm now. Parker says they’ll be back by 5:30.

Georgia calls Paget to get the seat covers from the laundry, but probably it’s really to flirt. At the snorkeling spot, Parker blows up a pink flamingo floatie. Arthur is hesitant to snorkel, but Parker says there’s nothing in the water that will hurt him. In a horror movie, this is where the giant alligator would swallow Arthur whole. A couple of the guests use the paddleboards, and Carla falls off hers. Couldn’t happen to a nicer person. Georgia sprays Paget with Febreze, which must be some new kind of seduction technique. Madison wants some coffee, but Jenna says there’s no time for that. In Jenna’s interview, she says, Madison is often doing what she didn’t ask her to do, instead of what she needs to do. Parker returns, and says the guests had a blast. They saw fish. Georgia tells him about Jenna’s request that they entertain the guests. Captain Glenn gets ready to set sail. Yana wonders if sails are always so slow to go up, and Byron says, it’s faster than doing it by hand. The captain shows Yana and Arthur how to bring up the sails, and Yana says, it’s a true boating experience. As they sail, the boat starts to lean sideways, and the crew grabs for stuff. Carla says they now have rosé salsa, and I wonder if these spoiled babies will be tipping at all.

Captain Glenn asks if Yana and Arthur want to take a chance at turning the wheel; it’s fun. Arthur gives it a shot. Yana wants Arthur to take photos of her while they still have the light. Because the first million photos aren’t enough. The boat is anchored down at Issos Beach in Corfu. Jenna radios Madison to help with dinner service. Parker gets a text from ex Kaiti, saying she wants to swim in the ocean with him. He tells Ciara, Kaiti is the love of his life. She asks, what happened? and he says Kaiti wanted space. She asks if it’s temporary, and if there will be the option of getting back together, and he says he hopes so. He texts back that he’s been thinking about Kaiti. Adam is glad the picture taking is buying him time, and Jenna asks if the guests would like drinks. In her interview, she says, come on, Madison. It’s stewing 101.

Lightening strikes in the distance, and the guests think it’s cool. It reminds me of the time I was having lunch in a restaurant right on the water and a storm came up. Lightening struck, and everyone in the restaurant went, oooh, at the same time. Dinner is served, and Yana thanks Adam for making it skinny. Arthur says Yana has eaten more today than in the last month. In Adam’s interview, he says Yana challenged him with her preference sheet, and now she’s like a hungry, hungry hippo. She can’t get enough. Madison tells Georgia, how Jenna speaks to her is not okay. She can’t do anything right. Georgia tells Parker to get his guitar. In Georgia’s interview, she says music is her number one passion, and any opportunity to play, or even practice, is welcome. She plays in dive bars, and has some traction in South Africa. She’s a medium sized fish in a small pond. Madison says the turndowns are almost done, and Adam serves chocolate mousse. He tells them, it’s very rich, so don’t feel like they have to eat all of it. Arthur says, there are starving children in Ethiopia, and Yana says, how romantic.

Jenna tells Madison, the floors aren’t done; there’s garbage all over the place. We see she’s not kidding, and in her interview, Jenna tells us, she’s not saying that to be a bitch. Madison is clearly not capable of the level of service required on a yacht. She asks if Madison went by the checklist, and Madison says, no; sorry. Yana tells the other guests that she was already struck by lightning (which might explain a few things), so they’re safe. One of them asks if she buys lottery tickets. Madison is annoyed that she has to finish some laundry tasks, and bitches at Georgia. Jenna comes by, and asks, what’s up? Madison says they’re having a conversation about turndowns and laundry, and Jenna says she can see that, and she’s asking because she’s their boss. Madison says, there are too many cooks, and in her interview, says she’s tired of Jenna sh*tting on her number two, which is her. Jenna asks if they’re good, and leaves. Georgia tells Madison, sorry, and they both say they appreciate each other.

While the guests have dessert, Georgia plays guitar and sings, while Parker accompanies her on the harmonica. Adam hugs Jenna from behind as she washes dishes, and Madison stomps around, being pissed off. The guests love the music, and a storm plays in the background. In her interview, Georgia says, yachting will always be her mistress, but music is her number one. Parker is blown away by Georgia’s talent.

In Jenna’s interview, she says, when she started in yachting, she was thankful. She was getting paid well, and could see the world. She doesn’t think it’s as meaningful to these girls as it was to her. She tells Madison to go to bed 30 minutes after the guests do; she needs sleep. Madison whines to Ciara that Adam and Jenna are kissing in the crew mess, while they’re working and hanging out there. She says it’s so unprofessional. Jenna has only known Adam for three weeks; she’s had manicures that lasted longer. Ciara says her and Paget have been together three years, and Madison says they deserve respect. Jenna and Adam’s relationship has no redeeming qualities.

In Madison’s interview, she says she’s supposed to go to bed, but she’s not going to. Don’t tell her how to live her life. Parker asks if she wants to look at the stars, and they go up on deck. Parker asks if she wants to yacht forever, and she says, f*** no. She wants to be in the fashion industry. He thinks she’d fit in well in NYC. Nope. She’d actually have to do real work. In Parker’s interview, he says Madison might like him, but things are stirring up with Kaiti. He has quite a conundrum. He texts with Kaiti.

Jenna tells Georgia that it was clear Madison was passing the buck when she interrupted them, and Georgia thanks her for stepping in. In Georgia’s interview, she says she loves Madison, but she’s emotionally charged, and everything is a personal attack. Jenna respects her enough to treat her lovely, so she’s just trying to keep the peace. Captain Glenn says he’s ready to lift anchor. Ciara says, if Paget loves her, why didn’t he get her coffee. He tells her, get up earlier.

Captain Glenn says the docking is going to be a snug fit. In his interview, he says they’re assigned spot is quite tight. The captain says it’s going to be a challenge, and they need extra eyes. They could hit the dock or the boat, and that would be intense. Paget radios Jenna, asking if she can spare two of her workers, which is really all she has, but of course she says yes. Ohh, they show us the space from above, and that is tight. Ciara goes out on the tender to the dock. In Paget’s interview, he says, on either side is a big expensive piece of machinery, and they don’t want to hurt the other boats. I gasp, since I think it’s the tightest squeeze I’ve seen on one of these shows.

As they pull in, I have a new respect for Captain Glenn. In his interview, he says, all in day’s work. It’s time to say goodbye to the guests, and they all say it was an amazing experience. Arthur says he didn’t know what to expect, and now they’re like family. Yana says Jenna read her mind, and for Adam, she has no words, except she needs to get to the gym. As the guests walk down the dock, the captain blows the horn, and they wave. The crew is called to the charter debrief.

The captain says, it was tough for some people, and Paget says, the barbecue was tough. Adam says, if you pick the wrong spot, it’s a waste of time. Madison carps that it was windy, and Adam says, if it’s the tip of a peninsula, there’s going to be wind. Jenna thinks it was successful. Captain Glenn says the tip was $17K or $1880 each, which is a surprise to me, but so was Arthur’s family comment. The captain tells them, they have the day off tomorrow to relax. He’s going to anchor in a beach bar area, and the next day he’ll bring the yacht back for their next charter. Right now, it’s time for champagne. He tells them, if there’s no eye contact during a toast, it’s seven years of bad sex, and Paget says he doesn’t need any more bad sex. Ciara is like, what? Madison complains to Paget that Jenna’s bitchiness is not warranted.

Jenna meets with Captain Glenn, and tells him Georgia is doing well, but she has a problem with Madison. She needs to manage her time better. She has the skills to be a second stew, but when she’s not sleeping properly, there are significant issues. The captain says they’re supposed to have a break so they can keep going, and Jenna says, when Madison is running around frantically, it’s because she’s staying up later than necessary. Then she’s telling everyone that she’s exhausted. She says, Madison has feelings for Parker, and Captain Glenn says, that’s why she’s up, since he’s on late watch. He says, Madison needs to take a break, and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Jenna says, if this continues, they’ll have to find a solution. The captain asks if Jenna is looking at possibly replacing Madison.

Next time, off time at the beach bar, Georgia thinks she’s agreeing to a threesome, and Adam is jealous that Jenna went to Universal Studios with Georgia’s ex.

🧗🏽‍♂️ Preparing For Temptation Tuesday…

If Loving You Is Wrong is back, and so is my long Tuesday night. See you then. In the meantime, stay safe out there, and enjoy not-quite a scene from Hamilton.

March 29, 2020 – Alpha Haunts Carol, a Comparison, Dead On Hold, Doing Well, Pink’s Cut, Jill’s Secret, Fiona Fun & Beta’s Song


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


The Walking Dead

Negan sits in his cell in Alexandria. The cell door opens, and he says, as he lives and breathes. It’s Carol, and he says he thought Gabriel was coming down to give him last rights. She asks if he wants forgiveness, but he says he’s done what he’s done, and he’s not getting on his knees. She asks what he wants, and he says, TiVo, a beer, and some rocky road ice cream. What does it matter to her? She says, what if he didn’t have to die? and he says he didn’t know she had a say on the kangaroo council. She says she’s not there for the council, and he says he’s getting that. What he doesn’t get is, why she’s dealing with him instead of lining up the skin queen in her crosshairs? She asks what he thinks this is, and he smiles. He says, damn. Word has it, she’s certainly a badass, but she missed her shot. What happens if he muffs it? It will make things worse for everyone, and despite what people think, he’s not down with that. Carol says they need this done; it will help everyone there. He asks what he gets out of it, and she says he’s been eating whatever sh*t they throw his way, hoping they forget. They won’t. Not unless he does something to make them forget. Bring her Alpha’s head, and that’s what people will remember him for. She’ll make sure of it. He has her word, but do it fast.

Carol puts Alpha’s head on a pike, and steps back to admire her work. Negan says, it’s what she wanted. Alpha’s mouth continues to move, making zombie gurgles, and Negan suggests they get moving. It was their deal; start spreading the news. She asks, what took him so long? and he says, doing her dirty work? He guesses he wanted get out with his head attached. Sh*t like that takes time. He’s held up his end, and he’s asking her to hold up hers. He wants to open a new chapter in the Book of Negan. She says they’re not going back; not yet. He says he can’t go back alone without a noose immediately being tied around his neck, and she says, then wait. She starts to walk, and he asks how long she’s taking. She says he’s free. Now he can do whatever he wants. Wait or don’t; it’s up to him. She says she needs to be alone. Sh*t like that takes time.

Dianne tells Ezekiel that he did good, but he says he got lucky. It doesn’t absolve his failings. Jerry tells him to take it easy on himself, but Ezekiel says, these days mistakes stick easier than trials. He and Jerry hug Magna, and Ezekiel says he’s so sorry. She says she’s okay.

Rosita checks out her wound, and Eugene asks how she feels. She says, all right, and he says they can bring her to see Alex when they find him. She says they don’t have to. He has to go; tell them already. Eugene stands up, and gets everyone’s attention. He says he has something he needs to confess. He’s been communicado on the radio with someone outside of their orbit; a new person. They’ve set up a time to meet. Yumiko asks who it is, and he says, her name is Stephanie. She’s from another community. Jerry asks what it is, and Dianne says, he’s meeting her? Magna says, she could be a spy, and Yumiko asks how long Eugene has been talking to her. Ezekiel says he has some of the same questions, but if Eugene’s instincts are that Stephanie is a new ally, they should hear him out before they jump to conclusions. They’re all on the same side. Eugene says some of them are aware that he relocated to Hilltop to make a metaphorically fresh start. He struggled, burying himself in work and community duties, and the voice in the void became a friend. Some might think he’s foolish, but spare him their derision. After what just happened, he’s willing to be a fool, and believes new good people are worth the risk.

Magna sits outside, and Yumiko joins her. Yumiko says, Magna can and should take her horse and go with them. She’s never wanted to be cooped up. She can go back out on road, and have an adventure. Look forward, not back. Magna says she likes it there. Some routine might be good for her. Someone else can have an adventure and meet new people. It’s okay. Yumiko says she’d be leaving at the worst time, but Magna says, there’s nothing to fix. Go. Yumiko leaves.

Ezekiel gets his horse ready, and Jerry asks if he’s really going. Ezekiel says he is, but Jerry doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Ezekiel says, because he’s sick? Jerry says, because he’ll miss Ezekiel. He can’t stop a man willing to be foolish. Ezekiel says, or a fool willing to believe in future friends. It’s enough for now. He tells Jerry, the Kingdom needs him. Make sure the legacy lives on. Jerry says he’s got it, and they hug.

Alpha’s head moves its mouth as Beta approaches with two Whisperers. One says, he’s the Alpha now, and Beta tells him that Alpha can hear him. Take off his mask (that’s never good), and hear her. He tells the guy to move forward, and asks if he’s listening. What is she saying to him? Beta he pushes him closer, and says, just listen. He pushes the guy’s head near Alpha’s mouth, and she bites his ear, pulling it off. The other guy takes off, as we all would. Beta says, just listen, and I wonder how he’s going to do that with no ear. Beta shoves him aside, and takes down Alpha’s head, cradling it in his arms.

Negan goes to the cabin where Lydia was being held. He sees she’s gone, and says, sh*t. Daryl puts a crossbow in Negan’s face, and asks where Alpha is. Negan says, she’s dead; he killed her. Daryl calls him a liar, but he says he’s not lying. He has something in his pocket; it’s not a weapon. He’s going to do a slow reach. He pulls Alpha’s mask out of his pocket, and shows Daryl. He says the whole reason he threw in with them was to get close enough to slit Alpha’s throat, and silence Alpha. Why else does Daryl think his girlfriend let him out of his cell?

Carol walks through the woods, and hears her name being whispered. She hears it more clearly, and turns to see Alpha. Alpha says she’s always watching.

Beta strolls along with the Whisperer bitten by Alpha, who starts coughing. A zombie comes by, and the guy moves to kill it, but Beta shoves him down. The zombie descends on the guy, and finishes him off. Beta listens to Alpha’s head, that he’s now carrying in a bag. He hears a noise, and moves toward it.

Beta goes inside a hotel, and shoves things aside, even though he doesn’t need to. He puts Alpha’s head down, and picks up a note. He reads, these 2 eyes see 1 truth. He sees a gun on the floor, and looks up at a poster for the band Half Moon. He rips it down, and smashes a nearby guitar.

Alpha tells Carol, she’s lost. So was her boy. She sent him away, and he never came back. He died out there, alone and afraid, just like Sophia. She respects what Carol did. Negan drew the blade, but Carol ended her, like a true Alpha. Carol says, stop it, and Alpha asks if she regrets it. Carol says she doesn’t, and Alpha says people were hurt in the name of vengeance, and now she can’t go back. They don’t accept what she’s done, but maybe they would if she says she’s sorry. Sorry you’re mad; please don’t be mad at me. She tried being on her own before, but they always pull her back. She’s always wanting more; love, motherhood, death. They don’t know what she truly wants. Admit it. What does she want? Say it. A zombie pops out of a tree, and Carol spears it through the throat and into the head. She says she wants to be alone, but Alpha says, that’s not it.

Eugene, Ezekiel, and Yumiko head out on horses. Ezekiel wonders if the new community will be handy, and Yumiko asks what Eugene thinks about that. He says his mother was a pistol, but he remembered something kind she’d done. She used to get him chocolate bunnies at Easter. Biting their heads off made him upset, but he associates it with family.  Yumiko says, please don’t tell her that they’re on this journey for chocolate bunnies. Eugene says he’s on the journey for the future hope of mankind, but candy would be nice. He asks if Ezekiel is okay, and Ezekiel says he’s not the best audience at the moment. They ride past a cage with two zombies in it, and Yumiko wonders if it’s a trap. Eugene doesn’t think that’s the modus operandi, but Ezekiel says, they’re not alone. Who would do this? Yumiko suggests they take the time to investigate in case it’s a warning.

Off by himself, Ezekiel gets off his horse. He sees some wandering zombies, and kills them. He coughs and stumbles, as another one comes closer, but he manages to stab it. He sits on a fallen tree. Yumiko says, all clear, and calls to him. He says he’s coming. All clear here.

Negan, his hands bound behind his back, walks in front of Daryl. He says, this follow-the-leader routine is like déjà vu. It’s the same way it went down with Alpha. He tells Daryl to get pissed at his gal pal for not letting him in on the plan. He’s pissed too. The lone wolf isn’t thinking of the pack. Daryl says the children at Hilltop almost died because of Negan. Although I’m not sure how Daryl came to that conclusion.

Beta looks at a record album, Half Moon Live in Concert. He puts on a turntable, and I try not to think about why the turntable works when there’s no electricity, and any batteries in it would have leaked or gone dead by now. The music draws zombies to the hotel.

Carol goes to the cabin, and Alpha says, this is her plan? and calls Carol brainless. She had no peace on the ocean, thinking about Alpha, and wondering where they’re going to land, and looking for sign. Give it up. If Alpha knows the truth, so does she. Hear her. Carol gets up on a stepladder, and fiddles with something on the ceiling, but the whole thing caves in, and she falls, the ceiling and everything surrounding her falling on top of her. Alpha says, she’s stupid too.

Negan leads Daryl to where Alpha’s head was, and tells Daryl, it was right here, on this spike. They can wait there for Carol. Daryl says take him to Lydia, but Negan asks what he’s talking about. Why would he stash her out there unless it was to keep her safe? He used her as bait to get Alpha alone. What’s wrong? He didn’t do it fast enough? It took a minute; he had to get her trust. He wasn’t going off half-cocked on a suicide mission. Daryl says, it was because Negan liked it. They hear the sound of a gun cocking, and some Whisperers step out of the woods, one of them holding a shotgun. Daryl drops his crossbow, and one of them says, Alpha is dead because of Negan. Kneel to the new Alpha. They kneel, and Negan laughs.

The music plays, while zombies gather. Beta stands above them, on the balcony, his arms outstretched. He smiles, something we’ve never seen, and pulls half of his mask off.

Negan tells Daryl, sorry. He’s savoring the moment. Daryl’s wrists are now tied, while Negan is free, and Negan says he’s taking his sweet-ass time. All right, fellas, down to business. Wait one damn minute. He’s the Alpha, right? He’s a bit confused. If he’s the Alpha, why is someone who’s not the Alpha holding the badass shotgun? The Whisperer holding the gun gives it to Negan, who says, that’s what he’s talking about. It feels good. He’s never had a kid of his own, but if he did, he imagines this is what it’s like holding your baby for the first time. But it turns out his baby can kill people by spitting bullets at them. He wants Daryl to kneel to the Alpha, and the Whisperers try to push Daryl down, but he shrugs them off and kneels. Negan says, it’s starting to get real now, ain’t it? Daryl was right when he said Negan liked it. In fact – he points the gun at Daryl – he likes it a lot. Daryl says Negan should probably shoot him, and Negan says, don’t threaten him with a good time. Negan shoots two Whisperers, and stabs the other in the head. When they’re down, Daryl tells Negan, untie me, a-hole, and Negan laughs.

Ezekiel, Eugen, and Yumiko sit by a fire, when Ezekiel’s horse suddenly whinnies and keels over. I had to look away here – that’s right, I can watch a million people get their heads stomped, but I cannot bear for an animal to be hurt. Ezekiel tells his horse, it’s not going to hurt anymore, and puts the horse out of its misery. Yumiko tells him that she’s sorry, and he says he shouldn’t have come. She asks, why? and he says, if he falls, they have to promise to leave him behind. His horse wasn’t strong enough to make the journey. Maybe he’s not either. He’s okay with that, but not with putting them at risk. Yumiko asks if he wants to turn back because of what might happen, and he says, it’s for the best. She says they don’t know what lies ahead; no one does. She had all these plans for her life, and for what? She’s here to find out what’s possible. None of them can predict or imagine what’s ahead, but she knows who they need with them. A man who built a kingdom.

Carol lies under the rubble, as a zombie pulls itself out of the creek nearby. Alpha says, her mom used to say, everything works out the way it’s supposed to, and Carol tells her, shut up already. The zombie crawls toward what’s left of the cabin, and Alpha says, this way, friend. Is Carol ready for them, and to see how this ends? No one is coming to save her. Not Ezekiel, and certainly not Daryl. Not after what she did to Connie. The zombie, who’s pretty well deteriorated, starts pushing through the slats in the wall. Alpha says, no matter what Carol does, she loses people. If she goes back, Daryl could be next. Carol says she won’t let that happen. She knows what she has to do. Alpha says, it could have been anyone, but they chose her. She gets the job done. Carol struggles, and Alpha tells her, look at the flowers like she’s supposed to. One…two… The zombie pushes through, but Carol pulls herself out, takes out her knife, and stabs it in the head. She collapses, and Alpha is gone.

Ezekiel now rides behind Yumiko. They ride down a highway, seeing a city in the distance.

Negan drinks from a canteen, and passes it to Daryl. They sit side by side, each facing a different way. Negan says, not to be a spinning record, but he doesn’t think Carol is coming back. He’s not bullsh*tting Daryl. Daryl says he knows, and Negan tells him, when he said he liked it, that wasn’t part of the act. Daryl says he knows. Negan says, when Daryl’s people locked him up, he lost everything. He spent seven years staring out that little window. It sucked so bad, even his memories have bars painted on them. When Alpha took him in, he admits he liked it. It was nice, feeling like he mattered again, and being respected, but she took it too far. You don’t kill people who don’t deserve it, and you never kill kids. Daryl asks if that’s supposed to make him like Negan, and Negan says, no. Daryl says, good, and Negan asks, what about his winning personality? Daryl gets up, and starts to walk. Negan asks, what about Carol? and follows.

Carol walks to the gate, and Daryl opens it. She walks in, and neither one of them says anything. Daryl closes the gate.

Eugene, Yumiko, and Ezekiel ride into the city. They go past a store, where a zombie in costume is tied to a rocker. The look into a café, where two zombies sit with martinis. Another sits on a delivery cart. It’s like a weird Disney ride, with zombies in various tableaus. They look around, and find one in a car, handcuffed to the steering wheel, while a police zombie is about to give them a ticket. Ezekiel starts to laugh and point. He laughs so hard, he has to wipe tears from his eyes. They see a pile of bones on the ground, wearing a boa, and a voice says, oh my God! Hi! A woman, also wearing a boa, and dressed sort of like Madonna, circa the late 80s, stands in front of them, holding an automatic weapon. (For those who are familiar with the comics, it’s Princess.)

Beta takes out the note, and says, someday we’ll rise. He takes Alpha’s head out of the bag, and says, thank you. He sees now, like she does. He puts a knife through Alpha’s head, and sits nose to nose with her for a moment. Zombies clamor at the hotel door.

Beta opens the hotel door, and walks out. He walks through the crowd of zombies, and they follow him as he walks down the street.

Next time – the last episode before the finale – Alpha says we walk, Judith and Daryl run from zombies, and Aaron and Alden hide to watch Beta.

🐭 On Talking Dead: Home Edition, comedian Ron Funches thought the zombie tableaus were like the ones at Chuck E. Cheese, but not as frightening. I couldn’t agree more.

⚰️ Postponing Dead…

News about the finale.

👍🏼 They’re Fine…

While I’m by no means downplaying the seriousness of the current world situation, there is good news that most of those who aren’t in a high risk group only experience mild to moderate symptoms.

✂️ Celebrities; They’re Just Like Us…

I’ve never given myself a haircut while drunk, but when I had my first apartment, I did let my next door neighbor cut my hair when we’d been drinking. It wasn’t awful. And it grew out.

🗽 You Still Don’t Get Your Apple Back…

That Jill Zarin. Always full of surprises.

🦛 Something Fun…

While housebound, you can find loads of fun, free things on the internet. Museum and city tours, concerts, Doug the Pug’s workout on Instagram, and Fiona!

🎼 Helping Ryan Rock…

The Half Moon song Beta listened to tonight was written by Emily Kinney who played Beth many seasons ago.

Stay safe out there.

Beta’s Half Moon Song on ‘The Walking Dead’: Full Video & Lyrics

March 27, 2020 – Cameron Talks To Neil, Vida’s Retirement Party Happens, a Dozen Quotes & 5 Second Break


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Yeah, yeah, I missed the beginning again. Because I had even more time than yesterday. Maybe I should start deliberately running late.

Finn we’re fam yeah they are walk her

In Franco’s studio, Ava tells Nikolas, no need to wait, but he says he’s curious about the process. She says, too bad. She doesn’t want him annoying her while she’s posing. He says, Franco is a great artist, and he’s sure Franco could paint her smiling even if she isn’t. Franco comes in, and says they’ll start as soon as Nikolas leaves, but Nikolas says he’s not going anywhere.

Elizabeth thanks Cameron for coming to the hospital, and he says he almost didn’t. She says, it’s just one session, and he says, one he doesn’t need. She says, if that’s the case, and Neil agrees, Cameron will never have to see Neil again. Cameron says, and if Neil disagrees? They’re paying money they don’t have for something he doesn’t want. By the reception desk, Portia tells Neil, here’s another GH newbie, and introduces him to Britt. She tells Britt that Neil was in private practice before GH snatched him up. Britt says he looks familiar for some reason, and he says he gets that a lot. He must have one of those faces. He leaves, and Britt looks after him quizzically.

The bartender asks if Alexis wants another, and she slides her glass over, saying, sure, why not? She ponders the shot, and takes out her phone. She gets Finn’s voicemail, and calls Molly. This time she leaves a message, saying she forgot Molly had social justice class tonight. It’s nothing. She’s just seeing how Molly is, and what’s going on with TJ. She says she loves Molly, and will talk to her later. She moves on to Neil, but hesitates.

Trina and Josslyn hang out in Sonny’s kitchen, along with the moss. Josslyn asks if Trina thinks Cameron is acting weird. It wouldn’t surprise her. He was in a horrible shootout, after being kidnapped six months earlier. He feels more freaked than he’s admitting, even though he’s acting macho. Josslyn stops for a moment, and says here she keeps talking about Cameron, when she should be worried about Trina.

Elizabeth tells Cameron, he has to talk about what happened, but he says if he needs to talk, he can talk to his friends. She says he needs to talk to someone who can guide him through the healing process. He says, and that someone is Dr. Bern?

Nikolas tells Ava that he thought he’d stick around to help pass the time while Franco is painting. She says it was thoughtful of Elizabeth to defend him to Britt. Despite her angelic face, Elizabeth can certainly throw down. Franco arrives, and says he’s just got an hour. He wants to see Elizabeth and Cameron. Ava asks if everything is fine, and Franco says, Cameron is seeing a therapist. Elizabeth thought it was a good idea after the hostage situation. Ava says Elizabeth must be worried; she’s sure it took its toll. Nikolas decides to leave them to it, and Ava closes the door behind him. She says, okey dokey, Picasso. Where does he want her?

Carly and Sonny come into the hospital. Carly sees Portia, and says she didn’t know Portia was on staff. Portia says, it’s a recent development. Sonny asks if she’s seen Mike, and Portia says she did. She’s never met Mike, but Trina talks so much about him, it’s like she knows him. He has a wrist injury. She thinks it’s a sprain, but they’re taking an image to be sure. Carly asks if he fell, and Portia says they don’t know what happened. Sonny asks what Mike said, but Portia tells him, Mike hasn’t spoken since he got there.

Nelle tells Michael, Monica told them Wiley was in no immediate danger, but Michael says he has a heart defect that could affect his growth, and possibly give him long term problems. Nelle says Michael is acting like Wiley is having his tonsils taken out. It’s a major surgery. Michael says, major, but common, and she says it’s nice it worked out for him, but she also had an operation that she’s never fully recovered from. She depends on medication and has chronic pain. How could he do that to his own son?

Britt says hello to Anna and Finn, and Finn says he sees she got her license back. Britt says she did. The more things change… Speaking of change, or the lack thereof, her mother seems to have become a habit with Anna. Anna says maybe Obrecht will pay for some of her crimes, and Britt says, good. She has a lot to answer for.

On the hospital roof, Nelle tells Michael, she can’t stand the thought of Wiley being under anesthesia if it’s not necessary. He says, it is necessary, but she says, she’s not willing to take that risk. She knows Michael, and he’s not either. There has to be an alternate solution to keep their little boy safe. Michael says he’ll check with the doctors, and see if they have any recommendations, and goes back inside.

Portia says, when Mike was at dinner, the aide noticed his wrist was swollen. They don’t know what happened, but he was using like normal until the aide tried to examine him, and he pulled back in pain. Carly wonders how Mike could use it if he was in pain, and Porta says, he might not have made the connection between the discomfort and his wrist. As Alzheimer’s progresses, it’s harder for the patient to understand cause and effect. She doesn’t think it’s broken, but since they can’t tell what’s wrong, she thought it best to take an X-ray. Carly says she made the right call, and Sonny asks if he can see Mike. Portia says, sure, and Carly says she’ll stay. She doesn’t want to overwhelm Mike. Sonny leaves, and Carly sees Michael coming down the stairs. He asks if Monica talked to her, and she says, no; what’s going on? He says, Wiley is in the hospital.

Julian walks into the bar (not the start of a joke), and says he heard Alexis needed a ride. She thanks him for coming, and tells him, the bill is already taken care of. They start to leave, and the bartender asks if she doesn’t want her second drink, but they just walk out without saying anything.

Elizabeth knocks on Neil’s door, and asks if he’s ready for them. He says, absolutely, and introduces himself. Elizabeth leaves, and Neil tells Cameron, have a seat. Cameron says, just so Neil knows, he’s only there because his mom is worried. It’s a waste of everyone’s time; he’s fine. It happened; it’s over; he survived; and it’s all good. Neil says, that took all of 45 seconds. His mom paid for a full hour. Sit down and tell him what happened that’s over and all good now.

Josslyn tells Trina, sorry; she’s an idiot. Trina tells her to stop. She knows Josslyn cares and wants the best for her, and that’s awesome, but she thinks Josslyn understands better than anyone, the best thing is to treat her like herself. If Josslyn wants to talk about Cameron, they should do it. Josslyn asks if she’s sure, and Trina says she thinks Josslyn is right. The shootout messed up Cameron more than he’s saying, and he’s doing things he wouldn’t normally do. Josslyn says, like what?

Carly asks Michael if the surgery Wiley needs is like the kind he had. He says, they do it differently now, but yeah. Wiley’s breath was shallow, which means his heart has deteriorated. The surgery is elective, which means he won’t die this second. Carly says, but it’s obviously necessary, and Michael says, Monica thinks so. So does every doctor in the hospital, but Nelle refuses to sign. He practically begged her to reconsider. It’s his worst nightmare; that psycho putting Wiley’s life on the line. Carly says they won’t let her do it, and Michael says he can get an injunction, but it won’t be enough. She tells him to deal with the legal aspect, and she’ll deal with Nelle. They’ll figure this out.

Julian drives in silence, and Alexis says, she drank tonight. It was just one, but she doesn’t consider it a victory. She just kicked her three-years of sobriety to the curb, but she didn’t have a second. Julian says, which begs the question, why she had the first. She says she has no idea, but he doesn’t buy that. She’s not somebody who would throw her sobriety away for nothing. Something happened. She doesn’t need to tell him, but he thinks she needs to tell someone.

Nikolas sees Elizabeth, who looks away. He asks if she’s all right, and she says she’s fine. He says, no offense, but she doesn’t look fine. She says she’s worried about Cameron. She doesn’t think he’s okay. She’s terrified that he’s keeping it inside, and locking away what happened. If nothing changes that, it will break him. She says, Nikolas saw what happened after she was raped. It’s not the same, but Cameron is close to the same age, and he’s been through two traumas in the past six months. She hates the idea of him going through anything like she did.

Ava tells Franco that Trina skipped school to come to the gallery. She said she needed to feel normal. Franco says, poor kid, and Ava says, she’s so young. Franco says Trina is lucky to have Ava, but Ava doesn’t know about that. She wasn’t such a good mother toward the end. She hurt her daughter, and put herself first. Now Trina is coming to her for guidance. Maybe Trina ought to run the other way.

Alexis tells Julian that she’s upset, and he asks, about what? She says she and Sam had a huge fight. It was her fault. Sam is distraught about being put in jail, and being on parole for something that was self-defense, and she can’t see Jason. Julian says, that’s no big loss, and she says, it is to Sam. She should have known, but she told Sam to suck it up, and get over it. Then Sam unloaded on her, and told her what a huge disappointment she is to her. She called Alexis a coward because she didn’t fight for someone she cares about. Julian says he’d like to think she was talking about him, but he thinks it’s Neil. Alexis says, there is no her and Neil. There can’t be.

Neil says, so Cameron thought he was going a dance, and ended up in an incredibly dangerous hostage situation. It must have been frightening. Cameron says, yeah, but while it was happening, Curtis and Jason showed up. Neil says, so no big deal? and Cameron says, not no big deal; it just all worked out for him. He’s okay. Neil says, except he went through a traumatic experience that the toughest guys can’t shake. Ignoring it’s not an option. Cameron asks, what is? and Neil says, they’ll work though it, find out how bad it is, and get him to the other side.

Josslyn tells Trina that Cameron’s behavior isn’t crazy. He’s just been checking in; that’s what friends do. Trina says, he’s getting worse than her mom. Usually their texts to him go into a black hole where responses go to die. Josslyn says, he was like that after Oscar died; super attentive and sensitive. Cameron loves to play like he’s the shallow guy, but there’s so much more to him. He’s actually amazing. Trina flashes back to the kiss, and says Josslyn is lucky to have him. Josslyn says, Trina has him too. He’s just as much her friend. Trina says, just admit it, and Josslyn says, okay. She and Cameron have known each other since they were in diapers. She had a crush on him when they were second grade, but that was forever ago. Since high school, it’s been the three of them, and that’s how it’s going to stay.

Finn is surprised Britt thinks her mother is guilty, and Britt says, her father dug a deep hole, and Obrecht is desperate to claw her way out. She can totally see Obrecht doing it, especially after she talked to Peter. Anna says, they’ve talked? and Britt says, they’ve talked since she got back, but they’ve kept in touch. Anna says she had no idea, and Britt says Peter is her half-brother, which makes them… Anna says, absolutely nothing, and Britt says, thank God. Finn says Britt and Peter have a unique perspective as Faison’s kids. Britt says, unique is one word for it. They become close, and Peter told her that Jason is convinced he’s guilty. She knows it took a lot for them to believe Peter over Jason. Anna says, Jason doesn’t usually let his emotions get in the way, but he was being judgmental. In the end, the evidence pointed to Peter’s innocence. Britt is glad Peter was vindicated, and now, after this weird cordial moment, she’s taking off. She leaves, and Anna says, the Britch is back.

On the phone, Michael thanks Diane. Sonny asks where Carly is, and Michael says, on the roof, dealing with Nelle. Sonny says, that doesn’t sound good, and I laugh. Michael tells Sonny, Wiley has the same heart condition he had as a baby. The doctors hoped he’d grow out of it, but that didn’t happen, and now he needs an operation. Sonny asks if that’s where Wiley is now, and Michael says, no. They need both parents’ consent, and Sonny says, and Nelle wouldn’t give hers. Maybe he should intervene. Michael says, Diane is on it, and Sonny says, so is Michael’s mom. Okay, it’s handled. He wishes he could sic Diane and Carly on Mike’s problem, but there’s not much he can do for Michael’s grandfather right now.

The roof door opens, and Nelle thinks it’s Michael. She says she’s sorry. She knows he’s worried, and she is too, but she thinks they have to work together as parents to… Carly says, save it. Her performance is wasted. Nelle asks what Carly is doing there, and Carly says she’s there to give Nelle some friendly advice. Nelle says they’re not friends, and Carly says, thankfully, they’re nothing, but she’s still there to help. Nelle is on the verge of overplaying her hand. Wiley is leverage to her; it’s all he’s ever been. A weapon she can wield. Her power over Michael. But if Wiley dies, Nelle’s leverage will go up in smoke.

Julian says, so Alexis really doesn’t have a problem with Neil, and she tells him not jump to conclusions. She’s an alcoholic; that’s why she drinks. She’ll use any excuse, and her excuse is Sam. Sam pointed out that even when Alexis makes a healthy choice, she makes a mess of it. She makes a mistake, and takes a road she never intended. Alexis admits she’s the one who sabotaged it from the start; it’s on her, but it’s an improvement over being kidnapped and having a knife at her throat. She’s making progress. She tells Julian that he missed the road to her house, and he says he’s taking her to a meeting. She says he doesn’t have to, and he says he knows.

Cameron tells Neil, there’s one thing he can’t stop thinking about. When they were in the warehouse, when the guy holding him let go, Trina’s dad told him to run, so he ran. He doesn’t want to be the guy who leaves his friends behind. Neil asks Cameron to walks him through it. There were five armed gunmen. Did Trina’s father have a gun? Cameron nods, saying, and Curtis, and Neil says, so he and Trina are the only ones without guns. His guy loosened his grip, and he deprived his guy of a hostage. Cameron says, that’s not the point. He doesn’t know why he ran. He doesn’t know if he was being smart or a coward.

Nikolas remembers how brave Elizabeth was. She worked it out at her own pace. Elizabeth says she didn’t go to therapy right away, but got she got there. Cameron will too. Laura told her that she shouldn’t push him; let him figure it out for himself, and if it’s something he needs. When she thinks about the time she was raped, she thinks about Emily, Lucky, and Nikolas. They were the people she could talk too. Cameron just told her pretty much the same thing. Maybe she’s screwing it up. She has to get back to work, and Nikolas hopes the doctor helps her too.

Ava asks if Franco thinks she really has anything to offer Trina, and he says, of course (🍷). She’s made a lot of mistakes, and will probably make more. Ava asks if there’s a but in there, and he says, but in the end, Kiki ended up with things that made her better than average. Strength, intelligence, confidence, resilience, and a zest for life. She got all that from Ava, and Ava can share the same things with Trina.

Michael tells Sonny, as scared as he is for Wiley, part of him knows it will be okay. Sonny says, of course (🍷) it will be. Whatever comes, they can give Wiley what he needs. Michael says that’s what he learned from Sonny at a young age. He learned whatever comes, your dad is always there to take care of you, as Sonny has always done. Too many times, Mike didn’t show up for Sonny, yet here Sonny is, showing up for Mike. Sonny says he’s trying. Alzheimer’s isn’t like Nelle; it can’t be neutralized. Michael asks if Mike is talking, and Sonny says, the times Mike has been lucid are few and far between. Michael says, but Sonny hasn’t left. He’s been there, and it’s really important.

Nelle says Carly would love that if her baby died. She’d no longer have a hold over Michael. Carly thinks Wiley is tainted because he’s hers. Carly says, just the opposite. She knows Wiley is precious because he’s Michael’s. Rotten people can have good children. Look at Michael, and look at Michael’s father. Nelle says, and his mother. What if Wiley is gone, and Nelle is left empty-handed? She tells Nelle to sign the form. She might win some people over. It’s a turnaround moment for her. Take it.

Anna tells Finn, she might regret saying it, but she’s glad Britt is back. Peter should know his sister. Finn says, it’s nice that she’s supportive; he guesses Peter could use it. She says Peter is in a good place with Maxie, James, and Georgie, and now he’s getting to know them. Peter’s future looks bright. He says, it does, but not against the competition. He doesn’t think Peter’s future is nearly as bright as theirs. Anna says, impossible, and he says he’s glad she feels that way, and they kiss.

As Julian drives, he says he’s glad Britt could make it. She says she had nothing else going on, and he asks if she wants to get something to eat. She says, when you text someone U Up? food is not on the menu. He doesn’t have to wine and dine her. Clearly what’s on the menu is her.

Franco adjusts Ava’s jacket, and says, Trina, or anyone else, should be happy to have her in their corner. She thanks him, and he tells her that she’s welcome. He starts to paint.

Neil says, so Cameron ran. Then what happened? Cameron says the guy was chasing him through the woods, and he tripped. The guy had a gun, and Cameron thought he was going to die, but Jason shot him. Neil asks how that makes Cameron feel, but Cameron doesn’t know. Relieved mostly, that he’s still alive. Jason was there, and the guy was dead. It feels unreal. Neil asks what happened then, and Cameron says, Curtis showed up with Trina, and they were sent to the car. Neil asks if there was nothing in between, and Cameron says, before Curtis came, Jason asked him questions about what happened in the warehouse. They were going back in to try and save Trina. Neil says, Jason wanted to take an unarmed teenager back in to the situation? and Cameron tells him, Jason said they had one shot to get it right. Neil says Cameron was willing to put his life on the line. That doesn’t sound cowardly. Cameron says he forgot that part, and Neil says, it probably matters, right? Cameron tells Neil, if he says so. Elizabeth pokes her head in, but says she can come back if they’re not done, but Neil says, perfect timing. He asks if he’ll see Cameron next week, and Cameron says, that would be cool.

Portia comes by Sonny’s, and asks if Trina is ready to go. Trina says she’ll text Josslyn later, and Portia says they just spent hours together. What’s left to text about? Josslyn gets a text from Cameron, asking if they can talk, and she texts back, yes. Trina asks, wasn’t Portia ever her age? Portia says they had no cell phones, and Trina asked how they lived. Portia says, quite happily.

Sonny tells Michael that Mike’s wrist is sprained, not broken, and Michael says, good. He asks if Sonny is taking Mike back to Turning Woods, but Sonny says they’re keeping Mike overnight as a precaution. If he’s better, they’ll discharge him tomorrow. Michael asks if Sonny saw him, and Sonny says Mike was sleeping, but he stayed a bit. Michael says, so Mike is okay, and Sonny says, yeah, for now.

Nelle’s hand hovers over the form, and she says she doesn’t know. Maybe it is good for Wiley. Carly says, it would be, but Nelle says, no. Carly doesn’t get to win. Carly says, that’s not what it’s about, and Nelle says Carly certainly doesn’t get to tell her what to do. Carly has no power; she’s just the grandmother. Nelle is the mother, and the one making the decisions. It’s up to the parents, and she’s the parent. Carly guesses that’s it, and takes the clipboard. She walks to out the door, and locks it, leaving Nelle on the roof. Nelle says Carly can’t do this. Open the door. Carly just looks at her.

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Portia that he told his wife everything, Trina says she thinks she messed up, Sonny asks what’s going on with his father, and Sasha asks what changed Nelle’s mind.

Shahs of Sunset

Mike brings us a public service announcement to catch us up. Lifelong friends, MJ and Reza, are having a terrible feud. MJ is upset that Reza didn’t visit her in the hospital when she was giving birth and almost died. Reza is upset because he feels MJ conspired to break up his marriage. Reza posted MJ’s medical history on Instagram, and MJ’s husband Tommy retaliated by destroying Reza’s backyard. Reza got a restraining order against Tommy. Meanwhile, Destiney is spiraling because she got involved with what she knew about the rumors. This is new level of warfare they’ve never seen before.

In Phoenix, Mike eats Skittles for breakfast. Destiney wonders if she even ate dinner. In Destiney’s interview, she says, after dinner, she wanted nothing to do with Mike, Shervin, and Nema. As soon as she walked out to promote the event, she saw them waiting, and it meant a lot. Maybe they do believe her. Her assistant Rose says they were supposed to go over everything last night, but clearly that didn’t happen. In her interview, Destiney explains that her company, Liquid Sweets, promotes events, and her dancers are promoting the fighting even tonight. She tells Rose, Bloody Mary and pool.

MJ meets with assistant Sienna (everyone has assistants – I need an assistant) to check out the space for Vida’s party. In MJ’s interview, she says her mom worked hard for 35+ years, and she’s retiring. Everything she never wanted as a mom, you want as a cosmetic advisor. Vida can tell people things that would get other people fired. Like, you have bad skin, and you need these products to make it good. She has that je ne sais quoi. Before MJ’s pregnancy, dealing with Vida was like trying to hug a porcupine. We flash back to Vida being insulting to MJ. MJ says she didn’t give up on Vida, and now she’s like a koala bear. She’s so glad to be able to give Vida a grandson, even though Vida tried to talk her out of it throughout her entire life. MJ says she’s going to have her friends dress up like Vida, with a blond wig, jewelry, and blazer. The manager tells her, no confetti or glitter. I can’t say as I blame her. After doing crafts with kids, I’ve grown to hate glitter and play-dough. MJ says Vida is going to love it, and Rose asks if MJ doesn’t think she’ll be offended because everyone is dressed like her.

Shervin and Nema are already at the pool, when Destiney gets there. She asks where Mike is, and Shervin says, Mike took a spill on a Segway. We see a clip of them racing down a dirt road on scooters, and Mike hitting the dirt. Shervin says Mike was borderline wheelchair, but he’s getting a massage. Destiney’s phone rings. It’s Reza, and Nema says he and Shervin are eavesdropping. Reza says he wishes he could share the delicious Mai Tai he’s sipping. The curtain behind them opens, and Reza pops out with Adam. In Reza’s interview, he says he and Adam were going to Hawaii to decompress, and work on their relationship. Their marriage is under tremendous stress since the naked Jenga (<snort>) and cheating allegations. Destiney was disappointed that they weren’t going to Arizona, so they thought they’d change their flight and come to support her. Reza jumps in the pool.

At the Iron Boy match, Destiney goes backstage. She tells her dancers to remember, it’s happy-go-lucky. She’ll let them know when they’re supposed to go out. In her interview, Destiney says she’s super OCD, and it’s the first time she’s letting her staff handle things. She wants to enjoy the fight, and hang out with her friends.

Mike finally gets there, and Nema asks how his back is. Mike says it hurts, but the massage helped a lot. They get in the limo bus, and head to the event. Reza says that he got a text from Vida asking what MJ’s done to make him hate her, and saying everyone knows he’s a backstabber. It was pretty foul. MJ sent her husband to eff him up. Mike says MJ didn’t send him, and Vida’s text isn’t foul; Reza is just receiving it that way. Shervin says MJ feels upset and isolated. They talked last night. We flash back to that, and Shervin says, she ate sh*t. Reza insists MJ put Tommy up to it, but the other guys say she didn’t. Mike says he knows Reza is upset, but he’s throwing away a thirty-year friendship for this bullsh*t. Reza says MJ threw it away when she decided to come at him. We flash back to the pool party, and Reza says they can never be cool again. He was vandalized. Mike says it was MJ’s husband. He’s not taking sides, but it started with someone doing something they shouldn’t have done. Reza asks if he’s blaming Adam, and says, they’re ridiculous. He gets off the bus, and goes into the arena.

In Reza’s interview, he says, Mike should be concerned that MJ is plotting and scheming against her best friend. The others meet Reza at the bar, and Shervin says, they’re not taking sides, but it’s not okay. MJ didn’t think it was okay. They move to the VIP lounge. The dancers get ready, and arena manager Roberto tells Destiney that she’ll introduce them. Nema asks Reza if they’re good. No one wants to see him upset; they love him. Mike says he’s not there to take sides, and Reza says he aspires to be as neutral as Mike is one day. He hopes to find forgiveness.

GG calls mom Fatimah from the car. In her interview, GG says, since she’s been pregnant, her body hurts and she has insomnia. She should be paid for the mileage she’s logging going to her doctor’s office. It’s a lot. She asks Fatimah to cooking something healthy for her, and in her interview, she says she’s about to be a mom, but still likes to be babied by her mom, especially when her mom is cooking. Fatimah tells GG that if she eats too much rice, she’ll gain weight. GG says her weight is fine; just make the food.

It’s time for Destiney’s halftime show, and she tells the girls to go, calling them bad bitches. They go out to the arena, and she tells them to pose. Roberto wonders why the girls are on stage, and Destiney realizes they’re not supposed to go out for another four minutes. She says they’ll make it work, and tells them to look pretty and don’t move. In her interview, she says they weren’t livestreaming for another four minutes. Destiney fans herself, and the DJ waits. It’s a long four minutes, but Destiney finally gives the DJ the signal, and  the girls dance. When they’re done, the audience applauds, and Destiney tells them, yes, ladies! Everyone was wondering what was going on, but it worked out perfect. Adam asks if Reza has seen boxing before, and Reza tells him, it’s not boxing; it’s MMA. Adam says he’s tired of all the arguing, and Reza admits he overreacted at the pool party. In Reza’s interview, he says, it was a mistake going to Arizona. It seems like his friends are getting involved in a dynamic they should be staying out of. He tells Adam, he wishes he’d left the party, but he didn’t. In his interview, he says he needs to start acting like Adam is a priority, and not just talking about it.

Back home, MJ goes to Mike’s house with Baby Shams. She tells Mike that she forgot to wear shoes. Mike asks if Shams is pooping, and MJ says he has good maternal instincts. In MJ’s interview, she says her mentality was that life stopped until her dad was healed. Mike was the only one who said she can’t do that. She can’t let her father’s illness stop her from moving forward. She hopes he knows that when he shows up, it counts. Mike holds Shams, and talks about how cute Shams is, telling MJ that he was an ugly baby. He’s happy that she came by; he doesn’t like the fighting with Reza, and thinks it was blown out of proportion. She needs to focus on the right thing – they both effed up. In MJ’s interview, she says she should have told Reza that Ali was going to confront him, but that’s the only thing she’s guilty of. She says Reza didn’t call her to get the truth, and Mike says they both need to take responsibility. She should tell Reza that she’s sorry for not letting him know, or she thought it was a joke, and whatever he heard didn’t come from her. They could solve three-quarters of the problem if she, Destiney, and Ali are all on the same page. He wants them to put it to rest; it’s draining. MJ says she doesn’t want Shams to miss out on uncle time, and he says he’s glad she brought the baby.

Reza meets Destiney and GG for lunch. GG says she has so much to tell them, but wants to hear about Arizona. Reza says, Shervin was there, and very much a part of the MJ conversation. In GG’s interview, she says, everyone is going through something. Reza has to vent, and she’d feel selfish if she intervened. Unless the check shows up, but there will be other lunches. GG says, the pool party got Reza in trouble, and he says he wishes he’d gotten in the Uber with her. GG says she had to go; she was pregnant. Reza says, she’s pregnant? and she says, was. She tells them that she started IVF in October, and it took a while. She tears up, and Reza tells her, don’t cry. She says, it took a long time, but they finally put the embryo in. On Sunday, she was in pain and bleeding. In GG’s interview, she says, this definitely wasn’t the way she was planning to reveal she was pregnant. She tells Reza and Destiney that she woke up in the middle of the night, doubled over in pain, and went to bathroom. She was bleeding out, and knew she lost the baby. Reza says he’s sorry; he had no idea. GG says they might have to remove her fallopian tube, and Reza says, the other stuff is stupid in comparison. In his interview, Reza says he was talking about the bullsh*t he and MJ are going through, when GG’s news is tragic. She suffered by herself in silence, and it’s crazy to him. All three of them dab at their eyes, and Reza tells GG to get better, and GG says, if it’s karma, it’s the worst kind. She’s praying to Jesus that she doesn’t need the surgery.

Nema goes to a costume shop, and tells the clerk that he needs a short blond wig to transform into his friend’s mom, and shows her a picture. In his interview, he says everyone should be Vida for one day; it’s liberating. You can be a huge d*ck, and it’s expected. Mike joins him, and asks if they sell sh*tty attitudes too. The clerk says, sometimes. They try on wigs, and practice their Vida accents. Nema says they have to get jewelry, and they check some pieces out. Mike tells Nema that Reza wants him to pick sides. In Mike’s interview, he says he hates being caught in the middle between MJ and Reza. Reza wants him to choose, but he won’t. It’s not his fight. Nema says, those involved need to take ownership of their part. When are they going to say it’s enough? In his interview, Mike says they can’t mend fences if they’re not operating with 100% integrity. Nema puts on a dress, and twirls. Mike says, that’s Vida, bro.

Shervin meets Destiney at Saunabar. They want to push the bad stuff out. In Destiney’s interview, she says, infrared sauna is UV light. She doesn’t think it has anything to do with the sun, but it’s supposed to make your skin glow and detox your lymphatic something. As they lie in the sauna beds, Destiney tells Shervin, she’s been on a liquid diet. Everyone is going through hurt, and she’s hurting the most, but Reza and MJ are hurting. Shervin suggests that’s why Destiney is choosing to drink it away. When the truth comes out about her and Ali’s input, it will stop. Destiney says, when Ali told her, he swore MJ told him. She didn’t think he wanted to relay the message to Reza and Adam. She felt horrible at the party, and was clearly used as a puppet. In Shervin’s interview, he thinks Destiney feels guilty that she hurt Reza and Adam. She says it was brought to her attention that Reza and Adam weren’t on great terms, and the texts Ali showed her didn’t make her feel good. Ali went to Reza and told him what he needed to know, and Ali was the one who constantly told her it was MJ who told him to do it. She tells Shervin that she cared for MJ, and MJ knew it. In her interview, Destiney says she feels foolish for thinking MJ cared about her. Shervin says MJ didn’t stop loving her. Not to justify it, but MJ is going through a lot. Destiney says she was dying from afar for MJ. Shervin says, the only way to fix it is like how they’re getting the toxins out. They need to get the truth out. In his interview, he says it’s a waste of a beautiful friendship and sisterhood. He makes her laugh by saying there’s a pool of sweat in his bellybutton, and they listen to it dripping onto the bed.

MJ is stressed out as the guests arrive. Nema, Shervin, and Mike come in wearing their costumes, and Mike says, act natural. MJ says Vida has no idea. Ali arrives, and MJ dies laughing at how he looks. In Nema’s interview, he says he works with a team who creates  prosthetics, and asked for their help. They can do drag queens, but can they tackle Vida? MJ isn’t sure that Vida is going to be cool with her inviting Destiney and Ali. Nema says they’re all so bothered by this. MJ is sure Destiney knew what Ali was going to say, and in his interview, Nema says he thinks Destiney doesn’t want to face the music. She’s 100% not a pawn. Just own this. Paulina has also dressed up, and MJ says she really looks like Vida; it’s awesome. Using Vida’s accent, Nema tells Paulina her dress is too short, and to pull it down. Sara says the guys look better than they do.

Reza meets GG for brunch. They sit on the restaurant balcony, and GG feels very Romeo and Juliet. She says she’s excited to have alcohol; she hasn’t in so long. In her interview, she says now that her pregnancy ended in a terrible way, she might as well have a drink. Reza orders a double Yak (brandy) with a Coke back, and GG orders rosé. Reza tells her about Vida’s party, and in his interview, he says Vida was like a second mom to him. He loves her, and to know everyone but him is at the party breaks his heart. He tells GG that he can’t be around MJ and Tommy. He’s afraid he’ll say something, and Tommy will show up with a bat at his house. The waiter brings the drinks, calling Reza’s tomorrow’s regret. GG says MJ is temporarily out of Reza’s life, and here they are sitting together. We flash back to several altercations over the years, ending with Reza calling GG mentally unstable at a reunion. Reza drinks the brandy straight down.

Vida arrives at the party, and everyone shouts, surprise! Vida dies laughing, says she had no idea, and keeps saying, oh my God. In MJ’s interview, she says the Vida she’s been dreaming and waiting for, but thought she never had in her, is here. Instead of ruining the biggest moments of her life, Vida is making them better, sweeter, and more fun. Vida tells Mike to take off his shirt, since he has a nice body and it’s her party. She tells Sara that she heard Destiney is dating her brother, and Sara says her brother is dating everybody. I wish I could understand what the big deal is with that.

Ali introduces himself to Sara, saying he’s heard all about her. Sara says Destiney loves to talk about her, and Ali says, it was nothing bad. Sara says, it’s not that Destiney is talking about her that bothers her; it’s Destiney’s behavior. Destiney comes in, and MJ calls her over to introduce Shams. Mike hugs Destiney, and asks why MJ is crying. MJ says she’s happy.

GG wonders what Mike is up to, and Reza says, he’s probably sitting in Vida’s lap.

The cake is brought out. It says Happy Retirement Vida Joon, and Vida cuts it. She says it’s strawberry shortcake, and wants to make sure everybody has a piece. Nema tells Mike, it’s not adding up; Destiney said she was used as a pawn. They all sit around a table, and Mike calls Ali over. He says Destiney told them that Ali blindsided her. Destiney says, he blindsided her that day, since she didn’t expect him to say all that to Reza. Nema says she’s playing semantics now. In his interview, Nema says he’s tracing Destiney’s logic. They met and discussed what would go down, but it happened at an inconvenient time for Destiney. They both look guilty. Mike tells Destiney, she looks like an effing liar. MJ says, every time Destiney told Reza that MJ knew about it, it poured gasoline on the fire. In Sara’s interview, she says not clear on who’s right or wrong. Destiney goes on a rant, and in the end, she doesn’t know what Destiney is even talking about. Destiney says MJ knew what was going on, and MJ says she was at home nursing a newborn. Destiney had Reza thinking the incorrect thing, and she was broken. In Mike’s interview, he says he saw the texts allegedly from Adam to Ali, but he’s lost track of why Reza is mad at MJ, instead of being mad at Adam. MJ thinks Destiney sent the little weasel in (i.e. Ali).

Reza tells GG that he and MJ had good times, and have great memories. Those don’t get wiped out, but some accountability is needed.

MJ says she still sent Reza an apology, but he never responded.

Reza shows GG the text from MJ. GG reads that MJ wants to take full responsibility for the situation, as well as Tommy’s reaction. Reza asks if GG sees MJ saying I’m sorry, and GG says, no. She says MJ is delusional, and doesn’t see where she went wrong. Reza says he’s hurt.

MJ says Reza didn’t have to put her medical history on the internet, and thinks everyone should say he’s a POS. Destiney says, he’s hurt, but MJ tells them, they should all tell Reza to go f*** himself, and deal with Adam. Is he cheating? She doesn’t give a f***. Handle your marriage. The end.

Next time, Mike says his parents need to let him handle the construction project, Tommy talks to a lawyer about the vandalism charge, and GG goes to the hospital where she just wants to be better again.

🍾 Quotes of the Week

You don’t make no Nigerian woman pissed. – Molly Hopkins, Pillow Talk; 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.Beverly Sills

The roughest roads often lead to the top. – Christina Aguilera

No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse. – Randy Pausch

The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what is one’s destiny to do, and then do it. – Henry Ford

No pain, no crown. I need a cocktail. – Evelyn Whitland (Jennifer Dale), Homekilling Queen

That milk has been here so long, its own picture is on the cover. – Max (Kat Dennings), 2 Broke Girls

Nothing in this world happens by chance. – Paulo Coelho

If you have wonderful moments, don’t second-guess them, just enjoy them. – Martin Short

Don’t bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out.Carroll Bryant

Laura…never complain of what you have. Always remember you are fortunate to have it.Ma Ingalls, Little House on the Prairie: The Long Winter

Sometimes the only way to ever find yourself is to get completely lost. – Kellie Elmore

🏋️‍♂️ At Week’s End…

You did it. You’re still here. See you when the dead walk. I’ll bring the tea. In the meantime, enjoy a respite from the apocalypse.

March 26, 2020 – Nelle Refuses To Sign, Chefs Inspired By Gold, Farewell Chef Floyd, Strange Eatery, New Listing, Get Well Andy, Ramona Stays In, a Crossover & Don’t Say It


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I missed the first minute or so. Because I had extra time. Why that always happens, I have no clue.

Michael tells Nelle, he had the same condition as Wiley when he was a baby, and the same surgery. Nelle says the last time she checked, he wasn’t Wiley. Doesn’t elective mean he doesn’t need it? Monica says, it doesn’t mean it’s frivolous, and Michael says, Wiley will have a better quality of life. How can Nelle possibly object?

Laura visits Sonny, who asks if she wants coffee, while we’re totally distracted by the moss centerpiece. She says she wishes it was only a social visit, and he asks if he’s talking to the mayor, or is his friend in there? She thinks she can be both. As mayor, she’s there to ask for help; as a friend, she hopes he says yes. He asks what he can do for her, and she says, a new wave of drugs has hit the streets. He says she knows that’s not his business. He has nothing to do with that. She says, but he knows how it happened, doesn’t he?

At Rice Plaza, Chase tells Willow that he forgot his skates in the car. She says, it’s lucky Sasha, Michael, and Wiley aren’t there yet, and he leaves to get them. Willow leaves a message for Sasha, saying she hopes they’re still coming, and to call her back. Jason approaches her, and says he’s glad he ran into her. She says she is too. She wasn’t sure if she should call him. She had breakfast with her mom, and Harmony seemed nervous. And the way she was talking, Willow is worried. Jason says, she should be. Harmony is mixed up in something serious.

Sam asks Delores what she’s doing with Spinelli’s phone. Is he all right? Delores says, he’s in custody, and Sam asks, why? Delores says, before she sends him to lockup, she wants Sam to meet her in Queen’s Point, at a bar on the corner of Third and Main.

After running into Neil at the hospital, Alexis says their situation has been on her mind. Maybe she should find another meeting. Neil says she told him that she felt at home there, but she says, there are meetings all over town, and Neil’s office is there. He says his primary focus is on addiction recovery, which is why she was referred to him. She says, and look at where they are. He says they can handle it, and she says, like they handled meeting at the opera? He says they have to come up with a different strategy. As much as he knew about her, he never pegged her for a opera lover. She says she’s more of an enthusiast. She won’t buy a ticket, but she’ll go if she’s invited. He’s not sure if he believes that, and she says, keep calling her a liar, so it will dampen her regard for him. He says, it makes sense she would like opera, since she has operatic emotions. She asks if he’s calling her a drama queen, and her phone rings. He says, saved by the bell. It’s Sam, who says she needs Alexis’s help. Spinelli has been arrested. Alexis tells Sam to text her the address; she’s on her way. She tells Neil, it looks like she’s going to have to miss her meeting. She leaves, and Doc comes by. He asks Neil if everything is okay.

Sonny says Laura wanted him to clean up the waterfront; he thought they were on the same page. She says, a lot has happened since the shootout, and he says he’s done everything he can to make sure the situation didn’t escalate. She recalls a warehouse explosion, and he says, it housed an operation run by Cyrus. She says she can’t prove that, and Sonny says he’s just as concerned as she is about the drug problem. She says she knows he’s got guys out there, and that he’s reluctant to tell her what he knows. She knows about the code, and understands, but she needs him to understand that it’s not a battle if it becomes a war. If he can’t bring an end to this, she’ll have to step in, and come down hard on crime, and it might include him.

Jason tells Willow, Harmony is involved with some dangerous people. Willow asks, how? but he tells her, just be careful; keep her distance until this is over. She says, until what’s over? and he wonders if her mom has asked her for anything. Willow says it was all she could do to talk Harmony into meeting her for breakfast. Jason says, that’s good; it means Harmony is trying to protect her. She asks, from what? Is she involved in organized crime? He says he’s told her what he can. She says, sorry, but since he obviously knows what’s going on, can he look out for her mom? He says he’ll try.

Nelle says she researched Wiley’s condition on the internet. Sasha wonders if that makes Nelle an expert after five minutes, and Nelle says, Monica is a cardiologist, and can tell her if it’s right or wrong. It’s an elective surgery, which means it’s not necessary, right? Monica says, it means, at this moment, it isn’t an emergency. Michael says it’s a preventative measure to prevent Wiley from suffering more heart damage that could threaten his life. Nelle asks if that’s a fact or theory. It’s a risk she doesn’t think she wants to take.

Monica understands Nelle is scared. No parent welcomes their child having surgery. She says, Michael seems to. He’s ready to let them work on Wiley like a frog in a biology class. Sasha says, it could give Wiley a better quality of life, for the rest of his life. What’s wrong with her? How can she say no? Nelle says, why willingly expose Wiley to the danger of surgery, when he doesn’t need it? Michael says, what if he continues to have trouble breathing? What’s Nelle’s plan then?

Chase comes back, and tells Willow, it got hairy. There was a mother in a van with squabbling kids, who was parked dangerously close to him. He realizes she’s not listening, and asks, what’s going on? She says, Jason was just there. He told her that her mom is into something dangerous, and she should do everything possible to keep her distance. That shouldn’t be too hard, since Harmony has been pushing her away. Jason thinks Harmony is trying to protect her. Chase asks, from what? and she says, Jason knows, but won’t say. It’s freaking her out even more because he’s a mobster, or whatever the legal term is. Chase says, racketeering, and she says Jason has been kind to her, and he’s the one who got through to her mom. Now it sounds like her mom is into something more dangerous than Dawn of Day. He says he knows Willow is trying to see the best in her mom, since she turned her back on Shiloh, but he can see how she fell for Shiloh in the first place. Harmony seems fierce and strong… Willow says, but it’s not the first time she’s been taken in by something dangerous. She doesn’t think it’s about Harmony this time though. She thinks this time, it’s about her.

Sonny tells Laura, the situation is shifting, and Laura asks if he’s set something in motion. He tells her, all he can say is, steps have been taken to end this. His phone rings, and he steps away for a moment, but says, sorry. He thought it was Turning Woods. She asks how Mike is doing, and he says his dad doesn’t remember him half the time, but what he doesn’t let go of is bullets whizzing by his head, and hiding under the table in a pub in Bensonhurst, screaming that he wants it to stop. It’s haunting him. She says she’s sorry, and he says, that’s why this thing with Cyrus is going to end. Jason comes in, and asks if it’s official business. He can come back. Laura says Sonny was just reassuring her about the problem. She asks if Jason has anything to add, and he says he’s sure what Sonny told her is all she needs to know. She says, good answer. She’s surprised Sonny told her as much as he did. She tells Jason, don’t worry; Sonny wasn’t specific.

Neil shows Doc his new office, and Doc says, not bad at all. It’s good to have Neil there. Neil says he’s glad to be on staff, especially after that business with the board. Doc says he heard something was going on, yet here Neil is. It clearly worked out. Neil says, yeah, and Doc says, or not. Neil says Doc doesn’t know why he was under review? Doc says, Neil caught him. He understands Neil was accused of inappropriate behavior with a former patient. Neil says he’s sure Doc knows who it is; the rumor mill travels. Doc has a sneaking suspicion it’s Alexis.

Sam introduces Alexis and Delores, and Delores says, Sam brought her mother? Alexis says she’s not there in a parental capacity, but as Sam and Spinelli’s attorney. She’d like to confer with her client. Delores says, before she does, she wants to make sure Alexis is aware of their attempt to neutralize her. Alexis asks, how? and Delores says Sam sent her friend – Alexis’s client – to spy on her; to dig up dirt to leverage against her.  Alexis says, since they have Spinelli in custody, she can only guess it didn’t go well. Delores says, clearly his forte isn’t physical surveillance. Sam asks Spinelli if he’s okay, and he says only his pride is wounded. Alexis asks if Delores is suggesting Sam violated her parole, and Spinelli says he must speak. Sam had nothing to do with it. It was his idea, and she’s an innocent woman. Delores says, right. Whether Sam returns to Pentenville to finish her sentence is entirely up to her

Monica tells Nelle, it’s a simple procedure, but Nelle says, all she sees is Wiley under anesthesia with a tube in his mouth, and that in itself can have complications. Monica says, they have the best pediatric anesthetist in the state, and Nelle says, people can and have died under anesthesia. Monica says, mostly the elderly and the most vulnerable, and Nelle says, Wiley is a baby; he’s vulnerable. Michael says, with the exception of Wiley’s heart condition, he’s strong as an ox. Nelle says, what about contagion? and Monica says, they’ll do their best to keep Wiley safe. Nelle tells her, she’s read about doctors on the internet, who feel they have to prove something to get kickbacks. Monica says, the good news is, no one there has to prove a damn thing. It’s been proven just by them being there. If Nelle wants a second opinion, she has colleagues worldwide who will be glad to take a look, but Nelle says, they’ll just agree with her. Michael says, there’s a reason for that, and Monica says she’ll get Nelle the information anyway, and leaves. Sasha asks if Michael wants her to go, and Nelle says, that would be great, since Wiley is her and Michale’s son, not Sasha’s. Sasha says, she was asking Michael, and walks away. Michael ask Nelle, what the hell is wrong with her? She’s risking Wiley’s health; why? My suggestion: get Nelle off the internet.

Willow tells Chase, her mother said it herself; everything she does is for Willow, and how happy she was that Willow is with someone who can keep her safe. Chase says, he remembers, and she says, the only thing that makes sense is, someone is using her for leverage to make Harmony do things she doesn’t want to. Sasha calls, and Willow says she’s going to tell Sasha that they’re not in the mood for skating anymore. Sasha says she’s sorry; they forgot about the skating. Willow asks if something is wrong, and Sasha is afraid so. Wiley is in the hospital.

Doc says he saw Neil and Alexis earlier, and it looked intense. Neil says, it was; it always is. Doc says Neil had told him that he was having conflicting feelings for a patient. Neil says, and Doc told him not to cross the line, and he didn’t. Alexis stopped being his patient, but they’d run into each other, like at drag Bingo. Doc laughs, and Neil says, there was an impulsive kiss. They didn’t mean for it to go further, but the board got wind of it. Doc says, the two-year rule is for a reason. Neil says, it’s over, but Doc says, it didn’t look over.

Alexis asks what Spinelli was arrested for, and Delores says, unlawful surveillance in the second degree. She cites the code, adding that the victim’s image is taken when in a private moment. Alexis says, the peeping Tom law? and Delores says, it’s six-months in jail, and a fine of $1000. Alexis says, someone can only be arrested for that, if the video or photo catches the victim in the act of disrobing or having sex. So Delores can imagine what her next question is going to be.

Laura says Sonny isn’t going to give her any details, is he? and he says, no. He just wants her to know he’s concerned. She says, it’s not just a public safety concern for him, and he says, all she needs to know is that he’s keeping it under control. She says, okay. She has no choice but to take his word. He walks her to the door, and she leaves. Sonny senses Jason’s disapproval, and says Jason doesn’t think he should have said anything. Jason says he doesn’t understand why Sonny would give even a hint about what’s going on with Cyrus and Jordan.

Delores tells the cops holding Spinelli to go. Alexis says she’s sorry to have to ask, but when Spinelli photographed her, was she in the act of disrobing or sexual activity? Spinelli says it was an extracurricular activity, and they were in the back seat. Alexis says, one more word, and she’ll let him rot. Don’t speak; don’t breathe. She asks Delores, where were they? and Delores says she and the councilman were there to discuss a sensitive legal matter, and didn’t want reporters following them. Spinelli tells Sam that Delores was half-naked. Sam asks if he got a photo, but he says the car was rocking so much, any image was blurred. That’s when Delores and her lover apprehended him. Delores tells Alexis, her client as much as admitted his guilt. She can have him held until his sentencing, and he’ll be separated from his partner and daughter. Sam asks if Delores and Donald aren’t married to other people. If it goes to trial, that will come out, and be pretty embarrassing. Delores tells Alexis, as she sees it, Sam is clearly trying to blackmail her. She thinks if she threatens Delores, Delores will ease up on her parole, and allow her to see Jason. The terms of parole clearly state she can’t associate with a known felon. Alexis asks if there’s any way Delores will consider dropping the charges.

Delores says she might be willing to make this ugly incident disappear, and Alexis asks, in exchange for what? Delores says, Sam and Spinelli keeping silent about her relationship with Councilman Raskin. Sam says, and if she refuses? and Alexis tells her to quit while she’s ahead. Delores says, the councilman will face scandal, but Sam will be in Pentenville, along with Spinelli. Alexis asks Sam if she can do that. Then Delores will forget she was complicit in blackmail and extortion as well. San says, this is extortion, and Alexis tells her not to make it worse. Shut up and take the deal.

Michael says, Nelle just wants to make him suffer; that’s why she’s refusing to sign. She’s hurting his son to hurt him. She says, not everything she does is about him, and he says she tried to talk Chase into having him killed. She left him do die, and put someone else’s dead baby in his arms, claiming it was his son. Should he keep going? She says, this has nothing to do with him. She’s protecting her son. He’s not going to die any time soon. Give her time. He says she’s not a doctor, and she won’t have a say when she’s excluded in the custody arrangement.

Jason says, when Cyrus is released, Laura is going to realize it’s part of their plan, and when he turns up dead, she’ll suspect their involvement. Sonny says, so will everybody. Even if somebody else gets to him before they do, they’ll be the prime suspects, but no one will be able to prove it’s them.

Sam says, fine. She won’t breath a word. Delores asks if Alexis can guarantee Sam and Spinelli will abide by the agreement, and Alexis says, if they don’t, she’ll personally drop them off at the Queen’s Point PD. Delores says they both know where they stand, and she won’t be intimidated. She’s going to be even more vigilant. Sam says, it’s harassment, and Delores says, it’s law enforcement. Delores leaves, and Spinelli tells Sam that he’s sorry. She says it was her one shot to get out from under Delores’s thumb; now what? Alexis says that’s not the question Sam should asking. Sam should be asking, what the hell was she thinking?

Nelle tells Michael, the law is on her side. Even without full custody, she’s still Wiley’s mother, and has a say. She’s going to visit her son. She stomps off, and Monica asks if Michael made any headway. He says, not even close, and Sasha asks what he’s going to do. He asks what options he has. How much danger is Wiley in? Willow and Chase join them, and Willow asks, what’s going on? How’s Wiley? Michael says, okay at the moment, and Monica says she’s going to check on him. Chase asks, what’s the problem? and Sasha says, like usual – Nelle.

Alexis tells Sam, of all the insanely stupid things she could have done, it was a terrible choice to blackmail her parole officer. Sam says she was thinking she wanted her family together. Alexis says, she made a decision that almost got Spinelli arrested, and her sent back to Pentenville. Delores is going to be watching now, and will send her back if she so much as drives a car without a seatbelt, and it’s her right to do it. Sam asks if Alexis is agreeing with Delores, and Alexis says Delores is doing her job. When Sam was granted parole, the agreement said she wasn’t to associate with a known felon. Instead of following the rules, she did what she wanted. Did she think of Scout and Danny? Sam says, Jason is Danny’s father, and the closest thing Scout has to one. All she wants is her family put back together. Alexis says, that’s what will happen if she holds out for two years, but Sam says, two years is a long time. Alexis says she knows exactly how long it is, but it’s Sam’s job as a parent to stick it out and suck it up. Do what she needs to get through it. Sam says, of course (🍷) Alexis would say that, and Alexis asks what Sam means.

Michael tells Willow, even though he’s Wiley’s guardian at the moment, both parents need to consent to the surgery because it’s elective. Willow says, if it gets worse, how bad can things get? Michael says, in the worst case, Wiley’s heart will deteriorate, and he’ll need an operation to save his life. Willow says they can’t risk it. Wiley needs to have the surgery now. Sasha says, it’s more important than ever that Michael win sole custody. Nelle is suddenly there, and asks, who says Michael is going to win?

Doc asks Neil, concerning him and Alexis, what did they decide? They can make the conversation confidential by Doc treating Neil as a patient. There’s a knock at the door, and Neil says, hold that thought. Laura comes in, and Neil says if the mayor was looking for her husband, Doc is helping him break in his new office. Laura says, it’s a nice surprise, but she actually came to see him. He asks to what he owes the pleasure, and she says, Port Charles is facing a crisis, and she needs his help.

Sonny tells Jason, there can’t be any evidence; nothing that ties it to them. Jason says, there won’t be, and Sonny says he doesn’t think anyone is going to shed tears about Cyrus’s death; they’ll be relieved. Jason says, and Laura? Sonny says, she wants the problem solved, and they’re solving the problem. He’s going to bring peace back to Port Charles.

Sam says she doesn’t know what the hell happened to Alexis. It’s not the drinking, and it’s not Julian, but Alexis became a pushover who plays by the rules and refuses to fight. Alexis says Sam doesn’t know what she’s been fighting, and Sam says Alexis cooperated with the board when she could have questioned the system, so they would question it too. Alexis says, it’s not that simple, and Sam says, what about Neil? Is there a connection? Does he make Alexis feel good? Then why the hell not fight for him? Alexis says, it wasn’t an option, but Sam says, it’s too difficult. Alexis is afraid she’ll get in trouble. She was never scared before. She used to be persistent. She was Sam’s hero, but now she obeys the rules, and sits back. She doesn’t do anything Sam used to admire. Sam wanted to be like her, and now Sam just feels sorry for her.

Nelle tells Michael, it’s rare for the father to get sole custody, and he says, it’s not common, but it’s not rare. Willow adds, unless the mother is unfit. Nelle says she didn’t give her baby up, and Willow says at least she didn’t hand her baby to someone on the side of the road. Nelle says, as of right now, Wiley is healthy and happy, and she promised to protect him from anyone poking around inside him or harming him. Willow suggests, if Nelle wants that, stay away from him. Nelle says she’s going to do everything in her power to keep her promise, and protect her son. She walks away, and Sasha asks if Michael is okay. He says he’s not letting Nelle into Wiley’s life. She’s done enough to jeopardize his health. Willow says, he doesn’t have a choice. He needs to do whatever it takes to get full custody.

Jason tells Sonny, he ran into Willow, and gave her a heads up about Harmony. Sonny says, good. She helped Kristina, and he doesn’t want her in the line of fire. He doesn’t want anyone traumatized like his father is. Jason asks if Mike hasn’t recovered from what happened in Brooklyn, and Sonny says, the opposite. He’s been worse. Jason says he’s sorry to hear that, and asks if there’s anything he can do. Sonny says, when he was at Turning Woods, Mike was there with Brook, and he was having a great time. Brook said, when things are cloudy, the things he remembers mostly are about Sonny’s family. Not recent things, but old memories; ancient history. That’s what comforts him. Sonny’s phone rings, and he tells Jason, it’s Turning Woods.

Sam tells Alexis, she’s so sorry. She didn’t mean what she said. She’s really angry at Delores. Alexis is right; she was selfish, desperate, and stupid. She asks if Alexis accepts her apology, and Alexis says, of course (🍷). She just needs a little time. Spinelli interjects that the jalapeno poppers are on the way. Sam says, talk to her, and Alexis says she will, but not right now. She just needs space. Sam suggests she and Spinelli go home to their kids; they almost didn’t have them. Alexis says she’ll call Sam tomorrow, and Spinelli says, on behalf of Ellie, Georgie, and himself, he thanks her for her help. They leave, and Alexis stands at the bar. The bartender puts a shot in front of her, and says it looks like she’s having a hard night. He thought she could use a drink.

Neil asks what Laura needs him to do, and she says, Port Charles has a new drug lord in town, who’s flooding the streets with his product. She has to find a way to stay ahead. She’s talked with the heads of GH, and they’re going to open a clinic, his area of expertise. Doc says Neil’s reputation precedes him, but they did ask what he thought. Laura says Doc sang Neil’s praises about a seminar he gave, and Neil asks if he’ll be working with Laura’s husband. She says, that’s up to him, and Doc says, it’s not his specialty, but he’d be happy to help. Neil says, great. They can talk as soon as he puts an idea together for the clinic. He and Doc can catch up later. Doc asks if Neil doesn’t want to continue their discussion, and Laura apologizes for interrupting. Neil says they can catch up any time. He likes to give recovering patients the dignity they deserve. Laura says he’s just he guy she was looking for, and Neil leaves to talk to the head of the department.

Alexis remembers Sam saying she cooperated instead of fighting back, and the meeting with the board at Neil’s review. She thinks about Neil telling her that he doesn’t want to say goodbye to his career, or her, and wondering how they can pretend it never happened. She remembers saying that’s immaterial; he has his practice back. She downs the shot, as I say, nooo.

Tomorrow, Trina talks to Josslyn about Cameron, Carly says she’ll deal with Nelle, and Alexis asks for another drink.

🥙 On Top Chef tonight, there was no quickfire challenge. Instead, the chefs were to explore L.A.’s food scene, using the late food critic Jonathan Gold’s 101 Best Restaurants of L.A. Less a food critic than food lover, Gold was the only food critic to have won a Pulitzer Prize, and his guide includes unique food trucks, mom and pop cafés, and ethnic cuisine. In the elimination challenge, the chefs were instructed to create a dish from anything that inspired them during their exploration – a dish they loved, a story they heard, or food they tasted. At the Union Square train station, they would be serving 200 guests who knew Jonathan personally, along with guest judge Ruth Reichl, a foodie extraordinaire. Tom said Gold wrote about what he loved, and if you cook what you love, you’ll make great food.

After their exploration, the chefs went shopping at Whole Foods, which was probably the last thing they felt like doing after all that eating. Being a close friend of Gold’s, it was an emotional challenge for Padma. Out of the top three – Kevin, Nini, and Bryan – Kevin was tonight’s winner, with a pork and mushroom terrine, involving his granny’s apple butter, which was a major hit with Ruth. He told the judges that he had a personal connection with the challenge, as he had spent a long time battling an illness, and didn’t know if he’d still be cooking, or even be there at all. He proved to himself that his journey wasn’t over. Ruth thought the bottom three – Angelo, Stephanie, and Eric – had forgotten food was supposed to be delicious. Ouch! Angelo had to pack up his knives, since his tuna crudo was overly sweet, and the components never came together. In Angelo’s interview, he said he thought his dish was balanced, but wasn’t letting his circumstances define him, as he moved on to Last Chance Kitchen.

Next time, the chefs visit a museum, and are challenged to interpret a work of art on a plate.

🍽 No Worries Here…

But I’d be remiss not to include a Top Chef’s passing. Please note, he had not only felt ill after traveling overseas, but went to the hospital, which oddly, can be the worst place for a sick person.

🍤 An L.A. Legend…

I’ve only been to Los Angeles once, for a V convention. Unfortunately, it was a first for the people who put the convention together, and we had little time to go to the bathroom, much less explore the city. But while I didn’t get to experience the food that the Top Chef contestants did tonight, one place I did get to eat at was Clifton’s Cafeteria, probably the weirdest restaurant I’ve ever seen. The food was fantastic, and incredibly cheap, so we ate like kings for a couple of bucks. Sadly, it’s since closed, but forever imbedded in my memory, will be the woodland scenes tucked into every nook and cranny possible, like some weird Disney show that ended up on the Food Network.

💰 Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles begins its new season on May 5th.

🧸 Wishing Andy Well…

You can’t keep a good Bravolebrity down.

🏡 Quarantine Makes Strange Bedfellows…

I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

🐉 Blink and You Missed It…

In last Sunday’s episode, Westworld gave a nod to Game of Thrones.

🧾 Every Day Is Saturday…

While right now, Friday doesn’t exactly have the same connotation it usually does, you’ve made it through week one. No one likes rules, but hopefully, everyone is behaving like adults. New Jersey was just declared a major disaster area, but I’ve been telling people it was for years now.

And now, and explanation on why instructions have to be compulsory.