Category Archives: fantasy

November 20, 2017 – Negan’s Confession & a Few Extra Things


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



The Walking Dead

They say “previously on The Walking Dead,” and I fill in, they killed of any vestige of hope we had, and my desire to root for anyone.

Gabrielle prays, saying he might die, and very likely will. He’s not asking to live, but to be given redemption. He no longer fears death, but fears a fruitless death. He asks God for purpose.

There’s a knock at Gregory’s door. It’s Simon with wakey, wakey, eggs and pancakey, that he made himself. He says a lot of love is on the tray. Gregory did the right thing. He called Simon when things got dicey at Hilltop, and followed instructions. Gregory keeps babbling, and Simon tells him that he doesn’t need to explain himself over and over. He did the right thing every step of the way. He tells Gregory that the reason he was brought there is that they’re not standing on the precipice of greatness, and he said he could solve the problem. Today is the day.

Negan is having a board meeting, Gregory sits at the table, and says thanks for having him. Negan fiddles with Lucille. Gregory says he understands the difficulty of Negan’s position. He doesn’t like killing people any more than Negan does. Negan says he likes killing people. Kill the right people at the right time, and everything falls into place, and everybody’s happy; some more than others. Negan says by killing one, you can save hundreds more. That’s what they’re about; they save people. A light bulb comes on over Gregory’s head, and he says that’s why they’re called the Saviors. Dwight wants to go out for a smoke, and Negan wonders if he doesn’t want to hear the rest. Dwight tells Negan to just tell him where to go and what to do, and he’ll make it happen. Dwight leaves, and Negan asks where they were, saying oh yeah, Gregory doesn’t like to kill and he does, under the right circumstances. Gregory says he likes to stop a conflict before it starts, and suggests he go back to Hilltop. He’ll tell them if they join in this meaningless crusade, they’ll be out on their asses. Negan asks if they still listen to him, and he says Hilltop is his house. He’s still the guy; always has been. Negan wonders if that’s indeed true, why didn’t know about the widow leading an army of his people straight up his ass with Alexandria? Negan thinks he’s playing both sides. Is listening to him the right way to go, or is it the right place and time for something else? Gregory starts stuttering about not being aware of the rebellion until it was in motion. Simon says he believes him; now make Negan believe him. Negan puts Lucille on his shoulder. Gregory says he let a fox into his henhouse, and she and her people took advantage of his generous nature. He sees that now, and will fix it. Simon tells him, lay down the law, and things go back to being copacetic. If not, kill everyone there, and the other communities will get the message. They’ll achieve equilibrium. Negan smacks Lucille on the table, and says people are a resource. People are the foundation of what they’re doing there. He uses Lucille for emphasis as he talks. He asks who the hell do Simon thinks he’s talking to, and if he’s confused as to who’s in charge. He asks if Simon if “we’re” backsliding, and please tell him they’re not. Simon says they’re not. It was a pronounced event in a fragile moment. Negan says, hell yes it is. They need to win it all. Plan A is taking Rick, the widow, and King Assface alive, and making them dead in a public and constructive way, and make them all watch. Kill the right people, in the right way. Negan looks out the window, and we hear shots. He tells Simon they need to have a chat, and he can bring his friend. Negan opens the door, says well, sh*t, sorry, I was in a meeting, and they start to go outside.

Negan and Gabriel are together in a trailer, zombies clamoring at the windows. Negan takes Gabriel’s gun from him, calling him a baby. He says Gabriel “done good,” and made a smart play. The sit together on the floor, and there’s an amazing shot of them, with a silhouette of the zombie hands grabbing at the window in the background. Negan says Rick is an a-hole, and Gabriel says he’s an a-hole. I literally LOL, which I didn’t think was possible after last week. Negan says, yes, he is, but Rick is going to get people killed. Gabriel says, killed by him, and Negan says he killed widow’s husband and the ginger, but he didn’t get them killed. That was Rick; there’s a big difference. He watched Gabriel try to save Gregory, and wonders why he’d stop for that bearded pr*ck. Gabriel says he fears a fruitless death, and Negan asks if he’s kidding; Gregory split on his ass. He asks if the point of his life is saving that d*ckhead, and Gabriel says there’s some reason he did what he did. Maybe he’s there to take Negan’s confession.

Savior Yago is lying by the side of the road, bleeding to death. Rick and Daryl interrogate him. They ask who won at the chemical plant, and Yago says, no one; everyone’s dead. He’s the only one left. Him, the king, his yes-man, and some weird psycho lady. His people, Rick’s people, all gone. He dies, and Rick stabs his eyeball or whatever. We don’t see it.

Negan is sure about one thing; his people think he’s dead. He tells Gabriel that he doesn’t have sh*t to confess. He asks why Gabriel became a priest. Gabriel says he loved God and loved people, and wanted to bring the two together. He wanted to help people through difficult times, and help them through their weaknesses. Negan says he’s been doing that in one way or another his whole life. He says people will start dying in there, because he’s not there to stop it. He whistles.

Regina thinks they can assume Negan is dead. Simon reminds her that they’re all Negan, and they try to form an escape plan. Eugene thinks they’ll be attacked quickly, but Regina says they can use the workers as a distraction. Eugene says that’s no good either. The workers outnumber them. Dwight says he’s right. The workers have the numbers that they need on their side, and there are snipers everywhere. Right now, they have to deal with the other part. Someone in here made everything out there happen. Simon tells him that when they find the subhuman who did this, they’ll kill them slowly in front of everyone, over the course of a few very long days. He looks pointedly at Eugene, and says, good meeting. Make today the best today it can be. At least he didn’t say, today is the first day – oh, you know the rest.

Eugene visits Dwight, He wants to give Dwight his sincere thanks for his support. He also brought cukes from his private stash, and tells Dwight they’ll find a way out of this pickle, pun intended. Dwight shows him a chess game he made. Dwight touches the board and Dwight tells him to be careful; it’s still drying. Eugene says he fully understands he’s being looked at in the Benedict Arnold situation, so he’s doubly grateful.

Gabriel asks Negan if he helped the weak before this. Negan says, kids. If you don’t show them the way, they turn out like garbage; little a-holes become big ones. You have to show them the way because people are weak. Gabriel says Negan is weak; killing the innocent is weak. Negan agrees he’s weak, but that’s not why. A zombie hand busts through the window. Negan thinks they should wait a little longer, and see if his people can pull it together. Gabriel asks why he’s weak. Negan pontificates on how he uses his weaknesses to drive his strength, and he’s strong as sh*t. The last guy in charge at the Sanctuary allowed the people to be weak. He makes them strong, and they make the world strong. Gabriel is going to be his new, special project. He’ll make him strong, and they’ll find his purpose. Gabriel says he’s already strong; he’s killed; he was a part of the satellite outpost mission. Negan tells him that he’s not talking about killing people while they’re sleeping. Gabriel asks again why he’s weak. They might be dead soon. Doesn’t he want absolution and forgiveness? It costs nothing more than saying the truth aloud. Negan says he never killed anyone who didn’t need it. Gabriel says the workers are treated like slaves. Negan tells him it’s economy. No one is a slave or starving. Gabriel asks about his multiple wives, and Negan says no women were pressured into marrying him; everyone made the choice. Gabriel asks if there was a first one, before all this, a wife he made vows with. Gabriel grabs his gun back, but Negan is distracted by a zombie getting through, and beats the crap our of its head with Lucille. He tells Gabriel he took his shot, now it’s time to go,

Daryl and Rick come out of the woods, and see an overturned truck. Daryl asks Rick to give him a hand, and they pull out a container of explosives. Daryl puts them in his backpack, saying can use them to blow the Sanctuary, and let the walkers in. It will be theirs by sundown. Rick says there are workers with families in there. They’re workers, not fighters. Daryl says if they don’t surrender, maybe they’ll all fight, and they don’t have the Kingdom as back-up. Rick says they’re not doing this, and Daryl says maybe he’s not. Rick tells Daryl they have a plan, and they’re sticking to it. Daryl says things change, and walks away. Rick follows him, saying they’re not doing this. Daryl punches him, and says it’s not Rick’s choice. He starts to continue on, and Rick jumps on his back.

Eugene plays video games. The power goes out.

Rick and Daryl continue to fight. Daryl gets Rick in a headlock. The truck starts to smoke, and they both run. Nice going, I think, as whatever they could have used from there blows up.

Rick can’t start the jeep. Daryl rides up on his bike. Rick tells him there’s a plan, and he’s got to see it through. Daryl says they have to win. Rick asks if he’s walking, and Daryl gets ready to roll. He asks if Rick is sure about what he’s doing. Rick says he is, and they head off in different directions.

Negan talks to Gabriel, who went into another room or closet or something. He says he has Lucille to help them get to the Sanctuary. Gabriel has the gun, and he should use it, but most important, they have each other. Negan endears himself to my heart in perpetuity for not saying importantly. He tells Gabriel that people are a resource. He doesn’t want to kill Gabriel; he wants Gabriel to work with him. Gabriel says he’s killed before, but that’s not his greatest sin. He locked his congregation out of the church when it happened. He listened to them die, because he’s a coward. He failed them, and failed God. Every day he works to lessen his failure, and be of service and purpose now. He offers Negan assurance of pardon, penance, and absolution. Show him they’re working as equals. His only way to a future is if he confesses.

Negan says what Gabriel did is horrible, cowardly, spineless sh*t, but guesses that’s what confession is supposed to be. His first wife was his real wife, and only real life; till death did them part. He lied to her, and screwed around. She got sick, and when she went, it was messy. He couldn’t put her down. That’s how he was weak, and what he’ll confess. Maybe they do bite the big one there. Gabriel comes out, and says Negan is free. Negan punches him in the face, and says thank you; he can keep the gun. Negan tells Gabriel that they’re going to have to put the dead’s guts on themselves. He says putrid decaying organs, cooking all day in the sun; how many people have gotten sick from this? Gabriel says he’s from Georgia, which is apparently a joke I don’t get. Negan hacks apart the zombie he killed, and they put entrails all over themselves.

Commercial break. Red Machete. Does anybody care?

Negan says, let’s make some noise. They yell, and he bangs Lucille on the wall. He opens the door, and lets the zombies in. Negan and Gabriel walk out, and we get up close and personal zombie shots. Gabriel falls, and the zombies notice. One tries to bite him, and Negan smashes it in the head. Now attention has been drawn to them, and they start to kill zombies; Negan with Lucille, and Gabriel with his gun. The look up, and zombies are about to jump down on them. I’m wondering if Gabriel got bitten.

At another meeting, Savior Gavin gripes that his deliveries aren’t coming through. Something happened. That Rick guy happened. He’s been hitting outposts. Laura runs in, saying the workers are coming upstairs. They go into the hallway, and the crowd looks like a bunch of angry union workers about to go on strike. Simon tells them that they’re designated to the ground level factory floor and the garden. A worker says it’s too hot inside, and no way are they going outside. Simon explains they need to conserve fuel, and it’s a shared sacrifice. The worker says his tone isn’t working. Dwight says they need time, and the worker says they need water. They’re supposed to be protected in exchange for their work. They need a plan for getting out. One worker wants to know where Negan is, and another asks if he’s dead. Simon orders everyone to return to the factory floor, and a worker says they’re not going anywhere. Regina says, I am Negan, and shoots the woman. She asks if anyone else wants a bullet. They hear whistling, and everyone kneels down.

Negan asks why she had to go and do that. A lot of fine folks thought he was chewed up, never to be crapped out again. He’s not dying until he’s damn good and ready, and right now he’s ready for a sandwich, shower, and massage, maybe all three at once. After that serious business, he has things to attend to, like talking to his right-hand man. They’ll figure how all this happened and why, and then go back to what they’ve always done, save people. A worker says, thank you, Negan, and another says, thank God for you. He looks at Gabriel, and says that’s why he’s the man. He tells the guards to gently take him to number two. Gabriel is led away. He looks at Eugene. Eugene’s bottom lip trembles.

At yet one more meeting. Negan says they need to figure out where the guns came from; find out when they went missing. This came from one of their own. He throws a backpack on the table. Eugene sees that there’s read paint on it, and looks at a paint smudge on his finger. It’s the same paint that Dwight used on the chessboard.

Rick walks along a creek. He looks up, and sees a helicopter. It flies past, and he continues walking.

Negan sees Eugene, and says, yo, Dr. Smarty-Pants, and tells him that he has a big chance here. If he solves this, he’ll make Eugene very happy. But even if tries his best, and can’t figure it out, Negan assures Eugene that he’ll kill him quickly, so he doesn’t have to see the horrific things that will happen when they run out of food and water. In other words, he has Eugene’s back either way. Does Eugene have his? Eugene nods.

Rick keeps walking.  A guard in a tower sees him, and blows a whistle.

Eugene knocks at Gabriel’s cell door. Among other things, he says they’ve eaten dog together, so that joins them in some manner for life. He wants to formally welcome him. He took it upon himself to bring welcome wagon items, in hope of providing some relief. He knocks again. When there’s nothing, he unlocks the door. Gabriel is sweating and shaky. Eugene wants to take him to Dr. Carson, but Gabriel says they have to find Dr. Carson asap. For Maggie.

Next time, Jadis and the trash people (sounds like a group) are back, and Carl finds himself in trouble.

👹 Interesting postscript – on Talking Dead, Lisa Edelstein said she thought perhaps Simon had been in charge when Negan arrived, hence the exchange about Simon backsliding. He’d also talked about what a mess it was when he got there. Very astute. She was obviously paying attention.

😪 I never got a chance to watch Once Upon a Time, but hope I can catch up before the next episode. It was a busy weekend after a truly hellacious week selling on eBay. Seller. Nightmare. Customer.

 👍 An Appropriate Quote

Ah, work — it’s second only to families in forcing us to spend time with people we’d rather not be in close contact with. – Alison Green, Ask a Boss, The Cut

⚡  More Negan Backstory



November 17, 2017 – A Meeting on the Footbridge, a Zombie Saint, Not Once & a Quote Quinary


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


As Riff Raff said in Rocky Horror, a decision had to be made. Once Upon a Time had a two-hour episode tonight, overlapping Z Nation, which is not being shown again tonight. Z Nation, I choose you, especially after the disappointment that was Walking Dead last week. If it’s possible, I’ll do an extra blog using On Demand tomorrow.

General Hospital

Curtis is at the gym, using the punching bag. Andrew comes in, and thanks him for taking the case. He asks if Curtis found evidence that he’s Jason Morgan. If this dude isn’t Andrew, there are a few of us who will be embarrassed. Carly, Sonny, me…

Elizabeth, Franco, and Jake get ready for movie night. Jake goes upstairs. Franco asks if Jake picking a movie about twins is an eerie coincidence. Elizabeth says he doesn’t know about it, but thinks they should tell him what’s going on. Franco says that’s the last thing they need to do.

Kiki is studying in the gallery when Ava comes in. She asks if Ava wants to talk about her passing along the flash drive. Ava says it was a wonderful gesture, but turned out to be disappointing. Griff told her no doctor would risk performing the surgery. Kiki is sorry didn’t work out, but also glad.

Nathan and Maxie walk in as Maxie is telling Chet that Amy is really Ask Man Landers. His sister loves him so much, she did it to get him the care he needs. Nathan tries to cover, saying that’s not what Maxie meant, but Amy says it’s true. She’s Ask Man Landers.

Nina visits Sam to discuss the Crimson budget. She tells Nina that Jason isn’t there. Nina asks her if she’s not co-owner with Jason, or whoever he is.

Jason sees Robin on the footbridge. She says she knew he’d be here.

Franco tells Elizabeth it’s confusing enough for him; he can’t imagine what it would be like for Jake. Elizabeth asks, what if someone else tells him, or he sees the man again? Franco thinks it’s Jason’s news to share, but whatever she decides, he backs her up. She says he has a good point. She’ll talk to Jason (or whoever he is). The doorbell rings. Franco answers, and I wonder why Elizabeth no longer answers the door. He assumes it’s a process server, but it’s a package. He brings it inside, and it’s the painting of the brothers. Elizabeth asks who it was, and Franco tells her, karma. Geez, it wasn’t even in a crate. It just had a piece of cloth wrapped around it, not even tied.

Nina tells Sam that if Jason isn’t Jason, the company could be in flux. Sam tells her it’s none of her business, but she says it kind of is, since it puts the sale in question. Sam is sure it will be fine. Nina says she feels bad for the other one. If he is Jason and his story is correct, she understands what it’s like to wake up and find out that everyone has moved on. At least she didn’t have to fight for her own identity. Sam says he’s not the only one it’s hard for.

Jason tells Robin that Sonny told him she was alive, but he couldn’t believe it. It’s good to see her. Robin says Sonny said he had his old face, but seeing him… He knows it’s a shock, but everything will be okay. She says it makes no sense. How can this be? He says because it is it’s him, Jason. She knows that, right?

Amy explains to Chet about how she started the blog. She called it Ask Man Landers in honor of him. He always gave her the best advice, and teased her, saying he was Man Landers. When she gave advice, she would think of what he would say, and have the right answer. Telling him isn’t hard, but telling him why is. He’s her hero. Everything she is, is because of him. He’s brave, strong, courageous, and smart, and she watched him and learned. When the blog turned into a book deal, she used the advance to pay for his treatment. She lied about the VA because she knew he was too proud to let her help him. After everything he did for everyone else, and serving his country, she wanted to be his hero, even if he never knew it.

Nina tells Sam, sorry, she didn’t mean to upset her. Sam says it’s okay, but she needs to be alone. Nina thinks that’s the last thing she needs. Sam says they’re not friends. Nina is an employee, and she wants to keep it professional. Nina says years ago, when they were fighting over Silas, she didn’t think they’d ever be working together, but here they are. She says people change and move on, and doesn’t think either of them are who they were years ago. She thinks Sam might be resistant because the guy who came back is really Jason.

Robin doesn’t know what to think. She knows Sonny believes in his core that he’s Jason, and she sees someone who looks like him. Jason says the last thing he remembers is being shot in the back. The next thing he knew, he was in a Russian clinic, where it took him six months to escape. Robin tells him about how the guy she’s known as Jason took her place in an elevator rigged with a bomb. He has Jason’s heart and spirit; who else could he be? Jason says, he’s his brother; his twin.

Curtis tells Andrew that Betsy’s trail went cold. He wants to sit tight, and maybe he’ll get a hit on her credit cards or bank account. Heather isn’t talking – literally. She took a vow of silence to repent or something. He tells Andrew, that girl cray. Andrew needs answers, and Curtis says he’ll keep digging, and maybe find them in a new direction. Andrew says he might have one – Andre.

A note with the painting says that Andre thought he’d return this, and Franco knows the right thing to do. Elizabeth asks what he meant, and Franco tells her that he has no idea. In his last session, Andre had told him to move on from his past, so that’s what he’s going to. She hopes he’s not going to destroy it, but he says he’s not. He says to tell Jake to save him some popcorn. He’ll be back.

Chet asks how Nathan got involved, and Amy says her readers wanted to know what she looked like. She stole a picture of Nathan, and when he found out, he made her take it down. When the book deal happened, the publisher wanted to meet Man Landers, so he became the face of the brand. He’s a cop, and technically committed fraud. Chet asks why they did all this for him, and Amy says because she asked them. Nathan says he made a huge sacrifice in serving his country. Amy says he probably hates all this, but hopes he doesn’t hate her. Chet hugs her.

Franco brings the painting to the gallery. Kiki thought that Andre bought it, and Franco tells her that he regifted it. Now he wants Ava to sell it, and use the proceeds for Kiki’s education. Kiki thanks him, and Ava asks her to put the painting in the storeroom. She asks Franco what’s up with the late night delivery? He says the last think Elizabeth needs is a reminder of his dark past. Ava says, out of sight, but not out of mind. What’s he going to do about two Jasons nipping at his heels?

Andrew tells Curtis that Andre took off. Curtis finds it hard to believe the epitome of professionalism just left his patients and snuck off without cause. There’s definitely something going on. Andrew is counting on him to find out what. Curtis says he knew squeaky clean wasn’t the real deal. Elizabeth calls Andrew. She needs to see him about Jake.

Jason tells Robin that the cops ran a DNA test, and they both match; they’re identical twins. Robin says maybe he’s the twin. Jason says his twin didn’t stand up there with her all those nights, taking about everything and nothing. He wasn’t here when she made the decision to go on protocol, and didn’t have to say goodbye when she left for Paris. He might have those memories, but there’s no feeling behind it. He tells her all that matters, is that she’s alive and well. Believing in him would be the icing on the cake. She repeats, icing on the cake, and asks if he remembers the night in Montauk when he described what it was like to kiss her. We flash back to when we were all practically in diapers, and him telling her that being with her is enough, kissing her… and she finishes it would be the icing on the cake. He doesn’t know what she means, and she tells him it means better than the best, and he says, that’s it. Back on the footbridge, Jason laughs, and says he didn’t know what she was talking about; better than the best. He tells her it’s true. Her being there is better than the best. She says, omg, it’s you, and hugs him.

Amy apologizes, saying lying by omission is still lying. (Thank you.). Chet tells them it’s been a tough reentry to the world, and Nathan suggests he talk to a group. Chet says that the pain doesn’t go away, but for the first time in a long time, he feels less alone. Amy tells him to look around. He has friends he didn’t know he had. He’ll never be alone again. They hug.

Jordan goes to the gym, and tells Curtis she needs his help on a case. She doesn’t want to leave a paper trail, and a PI can go places cops can’t. This one is personal. She has reason to believe Andre is mixed up in the Jason Morgan case. Curtis asks if she’s saying the Ivy League brother she chose over him is dirty? Fancy that. She asks if he’s going to help her, and he tells her, wait for it… He’s already on it. She’s not the first person today to ask.

Franco tells Ava that everybody needs to shut up about Jason Morgan, and both Jasons need to shut up. She says that one is married to Sam, and thinks he’s concerned the other will make a play for Elizabeth.. He says hypothetically speaking, those concerns would make him paranoid. She thinks those concerns would be valid. They’ve aligned themselves. No matter how hard those they love try to see past their faults, they wonder if they’re good enough. Their loved ones try to pull them into the light, but are afraid they’ll be pulled into the darkness. She says it’s exhausting. It would be easier if they were different, fixed. Franco asks if he should be worried, and Ava says she would be.

Andrew asks Elizabeth if something is wrong, and she says she thinks it’s time to tell Jake about his twin. Andrew thinks Jake has been through enough, but Elizabeth says what if Jake sees him again. He needs to be prepared, and he should hear it from them. Jake comes downstairs, and asks if his dad is watching the movie with them. He says, no, but he and Jake’s mom have something to tell him.

Nina tells Sam that she meant no disrespect, but she recognizes Sam’s brain is on overdrive, and her heart and mind are on disconnect. She’s hurting, and can’t talk to the people closest to her. Maybe she can talk to Nina. She wonders if Sam believes the new guy is Jason, if she’s afraid she won’t be able to fit her husband into her life somehow. Sam says that’s not if. Nina asks what she is afraid of? That she might be in love with two different men?

Robin can’t believe Jason is real and they’re both here. She asks if he remembers when she left for Paris, and talked about the future. She never imagined this. Jason says it usually isn’t what you imagine, but sometimes it’s better. Sonny told him about her little boy. She thinks maybe they could have a playdate with Bella and Scout, and then remembers Scout isn’t his daughter. He tells her whatever happens, Sam has a little girl, and Danny has a little sister. They’re happy, and that’s all that matters.

Chet says he still has a lot to work through, but now he’s not alone. Maxie points out that no one can know. Amy could be sued, and Maxie’s professional reputation could be shot, then corrects herself to include Nathan. Chet says no one will hear it from him; they went above and beyond. Amy says they’ve intruded enough, and says they’ll go to her place. She thanks Nathan for all he’s done, and Maxie for putting up with it. Maxie tells her don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t mention it, not until their out of the woods. Amy and Chet leave, and Nathan tells Maxie that her judgement call was spot on. She says she has to tell him something.

Ava searches for unethical doctors on her laptop, to see if there are any out there who can help her.

Jordan tells Curtis that she has her own agenda, and asks if he can separate the two. He says he’s only interested in finding Andre, and wants to know if she’s okay with it. She says for once they’re on the same side, and he says he’ll probably be sharing the same information. She tells him it came to her attention that Andre was working with the WSB on something called memory mapping. Curtis doesn’t like the way it sounds already, but it would explain why both guys think they’re Jason. Jordan doesn’t know what they’re dealing with or who. Andre was never an open book. She was always uncovering things about him. She thought it was charming, but now thinks she didn’t realize who he was at all.

Sam tells Nina that the man she’s in love with is her husband. They’ve made a great life together. Nina asks what if the other guy turns out to be Jason, and Sam says they’ll still love each other; that’s all that matters. Nina asks if she loves who he is now, or who he used to be?

Jake says he knew it! His dad has a twin brother. Andrew says he didn’t know much about him until now. Jake asks what he’s like, and Andrew says he’s a confused guy who thinks he’s him. Jake asks, how could he? He’s him. Andrew says he’s his dad, but because he looks the way he used to look, some people believe him (like me). Jake asks who, but he says it doesn’t matter. He and his mom know the truth. He’s Jake’s father, and that’s not going to change. Jake says he loves him, and Andrew says he loves Jake too.

Sam tells Nina that she loves her husband, the man she’s committed to. She says she’s also committed to the business, and Nina takes that as her cue to leave. She says they can discuss the budget another day. In the hallway, Nina’s phone rings. She looks at it, and says, oh no.

Maxie tells Nathan she has unexpected good news, she hopes. He’s up for that, but her phone rings. She looks at it, and says, omg. It’s an alert from The Invader. They just broke a story that he’s not Ask Man Landers. She shows him the article with his and Amy’s pictures.

Ava reads a Crimson article about unconventional cosmetic procedures. She notes the doctor’s name – Gregory Zajack. Kiki comes back, and asks what she’s working on. She tells Kiki that she’s just doing inventory. She has new work for a new exhibit. She thinks everyone will be happy when it debuts.

Sam looks at her (latest) wedding photo. She flashes back to a few days ago, when she was telling Jason it’s the kind of love that just is; you can’t stop feeling it, can’t deny it, can’t shut it down. All you can do is choose not to act on it, and accept the reality that the person you’ll always love can’t be in your life. The background music is so sad, it makes me want to cry. She looks at the photo again.

Robin can’t imagine what Sam is going through. If she admits he’s Jason, she has to admit the last two years of her life weren’t exactly a lie, but not what she thought. The man she thought was him, isn’t. Jason tells her that Sonny and Carly want to prove he’s Jason, and Diane is working on it. She’s looking for cold cases where he was arrested to find a hard copy of his fingerprints. Robin says at least she has a wealth of material to chose from, Jason tells her they’re focused on the wrong thing. He only cares about who’s responsible.

Curtis tells Jordan even though he hates to admit it, Andre is a good dude who just got caught up. His phone rings, and he says, speak of the devil. He might have hacked into Andre’s personal account. Jordan says she doesn’t want to know, but she does want to know what he found. He tells her that Andre had a courier service make a shipment to an address on Elm Street, and he has the IP address he used.

Franco sees Andrew coming out of Elizabeth’s house, and stays hidden. Elizabeth says they did the right thing. They might have their differences, but they’re a good team when it comes to Jake. He thanks Elizabeth for believing in him. It means more than she knows. Franco listens.

On Monday, Ned and Michael talk about ELQ’s future, Jason says goodbye, and Robin asks about Anna’s new boyfriend.

Z Nation

Kaya messes with the circuit breakers. She tells her son not to tease the frozen zombie. She sees someone walking toward them in the distance, and hopes it’s Citizen Z, but it’s a group from Zona. They begin to shoot, and she shoots back. She tells Nana not to panic but they have intruders. She grabs her bag, and Jay-Z CD, and says let’s go. They take a ladder to the bunker downstairs. where she sets up the radio. She makes an emergency broadcast, saying they’re under attack by Zona forces. She asks if Simon or anyone is out there.

Lily and Doc sing Camp Granada, the stoner version. Murphy tells them those aren’t pot leaves; they’re maple leaves. They’re in Canada. Frozen wasteland of peace, here they come. Murphy says he believes in no one but himself, and Roberta says he’s like a cockroach. He says they survive, and he plans to keep on surviving. Mounty zombies stagger out of the building.

A few zombies in toques come out of the woods. Doc calls them hosers, and tells them to, take off, eh? They dispatch the Mounties, and Lily takes one of their hats. Doc says he hates to stereotype, but they’ve been the nicest zombies he’s seen. Roberta tells them to go back to America, as a hockey team races toward them. She and 10K jet, and the rest run into a chapel on the border. They go upstairs, and hear some really weird sounds. It’s zombie nuns, and Doc says, zombie mother of God, whacking one with her own guitar. Murphy struggles with two of them, and says this is why he hates organized religion. 10K and Roberta have come back, and they save him.

Zombies clamor at the boarded-up windows. Doc says as if Catholic school didn’t scare him enough, and backs into a holy water font. He knocks it over, and says now he’s really going to hell. Lily says it was a church, but zombies run it now. Doc is afraid what’s outside is Mother Superior mean. He informs everyone that the food and water is back in the van. Murphy misses Zona. He thought they won, and it was over. Now, the best he can hope for, is freezing his nuts off in Newmerica. Doc wonders how many Z hordes they need to get through to get there. Roberta doesn’t know how far the darkness spreads. Maybe her dreams are true, maybe not. She asks Murphy what they did to her. She tells them if her dreams are real, nowhere is safe; not even Newmerica. Doc says they need to get inside her head, and she tells him, good luck. 10K says Murphy can do it. Doc agrees. She has his blood in her, and it’s worth a shot. Roberta says she needs to know.

She and Murphy concentrate, but Murphy says it isn’t working. Roberta tells him to give it a minute. She tells him to look at her. They close their eyes, and she thinks of her vision. He opens his eyes to a beautiful field, where he’s standing with her. She says it’s the end of the world, but he can’t see it. The fire, ash, darkness, and pain. She tells him to look in the distance, but he only sees a snow-capped mountain. She says she’s sorry. The rain is coming; it’s here. The ash begins to fall. Murphy is on fire, and he opens his eyes, brushing at himself. Doc asks what he saw, and he says, nothing, but he felt what she’s feeling. It’s excruciating.

Lily motions for them to come. Murphy takes Roberta’s hand. He asks if what he felt is what she’s been feeling this whole time, and she says, yeah. He asks if they’re going toward it or away from it. She tells him that she doesn’t know. They reinforce the door, but Roberta thinks they need something stronger. Murphy opens the confessional doors, and zombies tumble out. They shove them back in.

Lily, Doc, and 10k see a live person, a backpacker, who runs from them. The church bells start to ring, and the zombies are drawn to the noise. They begin to punch through the barriers.

The backpacker continues to ring the bells. Doc tells him, not so fast, Quasimodo. Zombies are trickling in, and Roberta is mesmerized by a hockey player for a moment. 10K and Lily come downstairs, and help put up barricades. Murphy slices up a nun, doing a Zorro number with his cane sword, and says he’s getting good at this. When the others see what he’s done, he tells them he has issues.

Doc brings the backpacker downstairs. Lily says she’s always wanted to interrogate someone, putting a gun to the backpacker’s head, and telling him to give her one good reason not to off him right now. Roberta pushes her aside, and says she’s Lieutenant Warren from the National Guard. He tells her his name is Louis. She asks if there’s any reason he wants to get them killed, and he says no. She asks him if he has a death wish, and he shakes his head. She asks what he’s doing here, and Doc says he came with this, showing her a pickax. Roberta looks at all the jewelry he’s wearing, and asks if he’s a grave robber. Jewelry would be important, but not off of corpses. Lily notices he has a load of St. Christopher medals. She says her granddad had one, and never took it off. He would never take it off, unless he was dead. Louis snatches them back, and Roberta asks why he has this stuff. Doc tells her he searched Louis’s bag, and he has a cornucopia of comparative religions. He shows them a Buddha, and a necklace like one he once had, from a woman at Grand Canyon. Louis says he mercied an old lady before she turned, and she was holding it. Roberta asks why take it? Was he moved by the Great Spirit? He says someone was, and someone will be when this is finally over. Lily says it sounds like grave robbing to her. He came from downstairs, where there’s a crypt. He says it’s not what she thinks, there’s a relic from a saint’s bone buried there, and it’s supposed to cure the sick. Roberta tells him to believe what he wants, but quit trying to get them killed. Louis says he didn’t know who they were. People are weird and dangerous. Doc says that’s an understatement. Roberta asks if it’s worth risking his life. Lily says there’s a horde situation, and all ways out are blocked. Louis knows a way out.

Louis takes them to a tunnel that leads to an old graveyard. The zombies aren’t far behind, and they push a faux sepulcher aside. There’s an opening underneath. Zombies bust in. Louis jumps down, and they follow, one by one, as 10K shoots the zombies. Doc holds his nose before jumping, and I laugh.

The zombies start dropping down. Doc and 10K manage to move the sepulcher back enough to stop them from getting through. They walk through the tunnel. There’s a room with a a real sepulcher, and Roberta asks Louis if this is his saint. He says it’s a relic, buried along with a bishop from 20s. She was a martyr, killed by her father when she wouldn’t marry. Doc comes back, and says they hit a literal brick wall. Louis says it wasn’t in the blueprints. Roberta asks for his ax.

Louis asks Roberta to help him open the coffin. She says not many people have religion since the apocalypse, and he says he doesn’t , but if the relic can cure people, people will need healing when this is over. Roberta says if he thinks it will be over, that’s faith. He says it’s basic survival. He has to believe it to live.

10K works at chipping away the bricks.

Roberta asks Louis, why all this stuff if he’s not a believer? He says his mom was a good Catholic. It made no sense to him, but he was glad she had something; it was comforting. One day, the whole world literally lost its mind. It was a bad first night. He was in a garage; he was a mechanic. Roberta says her too. He tells her it was in the middle of the city, and it seemed like ground zero. his boss first to turn; then his buddy Juan. It was up to him to put them down. It took forever; they didn’t know what was needed back then. We see him fighting with zombie Juan. He picks up a huge wrench. He tells Roberta all he could hear was screaming from outside, and the sound of the wrench, hitting. Then it was done. They were dead. It was dark, and Juan’s candle with the Virgin Mary on it kept burning. Roberta asks if that isn’t a miracle, and Louis says it was a light. He needed it, so he took it, and ever since then, he kept finding stuff. It gives him reason to keep going, a mission. Roberta asks what if it ends up being nothing? What if the apocalypse never ends, or does, and no one wants it? Is he doing good, or just delusional? How does he know. He tells her that he doesn’t. She looks for something to help him with

10K is still working on the wall. Roberta asks for the crowbar, and Murphy brings it to Louis. He says the saint had a pretty crappy dad, and Louis says all those girl saints did, but St. Lucy had a crappy mom. She’s the patron saint of the blind and epidemics. Murphy says his daughter’s name was Lucy, and she could have cured everyone, just like his saint, but she died saving him. She wasn’t a saint, just a little girl. Louis tells him sacrificing yourself for someone you love, it doesn’t get more holy than that, Murphy says he needs more leverage.

He asks for pickax, telling the group it’s important. Louis, Roberta, and Murphy start to slide the top across the coffin. When they get it over several inches, smoke wafts out and banging comes from the inside. The bishop sits up. Roberta tosses 10k the crowbar. Murphy struggles with the bishop, and Louis whacks the zombie in the back of the head. He says he thought he was supposed to be dead dead. He fiddles with a pendant the bishop is wearing. He says it doesn’t open, and there’s no secret compartment; it’s just a cross. He looks around in the coffin, and says, it’s empty. Murphy says, then it’s probably time to go.

There’s another wall behind the bricks, Lily tells them she has one grenade left. Roberta thinks they need an actual miracle. Murphy doesn’t think they’re going to find one, and the bells begin to ring. Murphy is like, oh, come on, and Doc says someone is ringing them. They go back upstairs, and the zombies are all tangled in the bell cords. They look around, and no zombies. They see a dead little girl in her First Communion dress, who looks like Lucy. She’s holding the relic that’s embedded in a sculpture of a hand, studded with gems. Doc says he calls that a damn miracle. Murphy says, St. Lucy.

They leave the church, and Roberta looks at the relic. She gives it to Louis. He says it’s more beautiful than he thought. Murphy asks to look at it. He turns his back to them, and touches the bone. He thanks Louis. Louis thanks Roberta, and she says she didn’t do anything; she was just there. He wants to give her something for helping him and not killing him. He asks if there’s anything they need to keep going, and Lily suggests bullets, aspirin, and toilet paper. He has batteries, and gives them to her. She calls him my man.

As Doc leaves, Louis gives him the necklace like the one he had, and tells him have faith. Doc says he will, and they part company.

Lily gets the radio going. They hear Kaya in the Skya, and that it’s an emergency. Lily tries to answer, but Kaya can’t hear her. Murphy hears her say Zona, and says that’s bad. They decide to look for a transmitter, but Roberta is missing. She’s walking back toward the US. Murphy says sometimes you just gotta believe. They follow her in the van, and pick her up.

As they drive by Louis, he waves. A zombie falls out a window on top of him, and he goes splat. I laugh.

I know that sounded mean, but it was funny in a Zombieland kind of way.

Next time, a news station is awash with zombies. No comment.

Quotes of the Week

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.Elbert Hubbard

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller   When I moved to NYC after high school, I didn’t bring a lot with me, but I had a mini-poster that said: Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep.  – Clive Barker

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.William Arthur Ward

Dorinda best drunk in Housewives history. – Michael Rapaport

😣 So My Week Be Like…





November 12, 2017 – The Kingdom Collapses & 90 Day Triad Treatise


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



The Walking Dead

Ezekiel washes his face. He fixes his dreads, and gets duded up.

The knights say goodbye to their families. Ezekiel walks out, and the crowd parts. Shiva growls. Everyone moves down the road. Ezekiel tells a boy to fear not and be brave. He says they face dire challenges; their lives, their way of life, hang in the balance. They pray for not one drop of rain under an overcast sky. Yet he smiles. They will fight and bleed. Yet he smiles. They will end them all, as is their charge and sorrow this day. Yet he smiles. They’ll leave their loved ones, rushing out from peace to war. Yet he smiles. They will find glory and honor, and protect this bastion of life. On this day, they are joined in purpose and mission. they are one. The crowd joins him in saying they are one, and gathers around him.

We see a bloody battlefield. Ezekiel crawls out from under a pile of men. He looks through the casualties. He cries out, not smiling anymore. The dead begin to stir. Ezekiel, get the blip out of there! A dead soldier grabs at him. He can’t walk, so he crawls. Oh sh*t! How is he going to get out of this? He can’t get up, and scrambles backward as they come at him.

The zombies stagger toward Ezekiel. He manages to get up, and falls again. He shoots a zombie in the head, but that was the last bullet. The next gun is empty too. He keeps crawling. Suddenly, another live man is there. He shoots a couple of zombies, and helps Ezekiel up.

Carol sneaks around inside the outpost. She hears men talking. Someone needs help. Another guy tells them to move their asses; it’s real now. A couple of guys bring a crate of guns in, but all of them are taken down by some gunfire. Carol drops down from the ceiling, and finishes them off. She takes a gun and runs. Some men follow her, but she ditches them.

Ezekiel asks if the man has seen Shiva, but he says not since they were hit. They see a crowd of zombies, but suddenly the man is shot from behind. Ezekiel is dragged back to the outpost by the shooter. Dude looks like Jeffrey Dahmer, but his name is Gunther (which I find out later from Talking Dead). Gunther makes Ezekiel give him his staff, which is also a sword. He’s taking Ezekiel to the Sanctuary, but Ezekiel says the gates are down. Gunther says Ezekiel is going to help him remedy the situation.

Carol sneaks around outside. She sees some Saviors loading the guns into a truck.

Ezekiel falls, and Gunther shoots the closest zombie. He tells Ezekiel he made it this far; he can walk. Ezekiel tells him, better the dead be his end, than a desperate foot soldier. He asks if Negan knows even knows his name, and Gunther says he’s Negan. Ezekiel says he won’t be used to harm his own people. Gunther tells Ezekiel, let’s go now, and drags him back up. He tells Ezekiel that he played his cards and people good, but they can’t do sh*t for him now. He says some stuff about Shiva, and I swear, if they kill that tiger, I’m out. The zombies trail them, and Gunther tells Ezekiel that he got them killed, and they’re still following him. He calls Ezekiel a meaningless con man in a costume.

Carol pops out, shoots up everything and ducks behind a truck. A bunch of Saviors shoot back, and it doesn’t look good for her. The truck gets riddled with bullets, and she hunches down on the other side.

Gunther says they’re getting something with wheels and getting out. Ezekiel tries to attack him, but Gunther gets the better of him, saying it’s over. He took his shot, and it’s over. I can’t wait for this guy to die. Gunther smears blood on Ezekiel’s face, and says delusions of grandeur.

The gate is padlocked, and Ezekiel says the dead are nearly upon them. Gunther takes Ezekiel’s coat and puts it over the wire on the top of the fence. Ezekiel says he can’t climb. Gunther says he doesn’t have to. Negan was hoping to have his ass chained on the sanctuary fence, but his head on a pike will be fine. Gunther raises the sword, but is split in half from behind by Knight Jerry. Wow, that was cool!

The shooting stops, and the men inch forward, Carol tosses her gun out, and says she can tell them where the others are; just let her live. A savior tells her, nice and slow. She comes out, hands up, saying she’s unarmed.

Jerry brings Ezekiel to his feet, gives him his sword back, and lops off a couple of zombie heads. He calls Ezekiel “Your Majesty,” and Ezekiel says he doesn’t need to call him that. Jerry says, yes, he does.

The Savior asks where Carol’s people are. She asks him to promise not to tell them she told him. She grabs the guy coming by with the ammo, and puts a knife to his throat. The Saviors shoot, but he ends up getting it instead of Carol. In the meantime, zombies start coming in through the gate.

Jerry works on the padlock. More zombies are coming, and he spears one in the eye. He and Ezekiel ready themselves.

Zombies start taking down the Saviors. Ezekiel and Jerry take down some zombies. Jerry thanks Ezekiel for being such a cool dude.

Inside the compound, the Saviors are busy dealing with zombies. Carol says they need to end this. The Savior she was negotiating with says she was lying about her friends. He must not be too bright if he just came to that understanding. Carol tells him to walk away. He says she’s not going anywhere with the guns, but she tells him that she has the ammo, and asks how much they have left? He tells her to come and find out, because he’s five. She notices what’s happening with Ezekiel and Jerry.

She joins them, asking if Ezekiel has fought before. He says he was once a marauder in the woods, and has trained for a long time. He’s ready to become what he must; to will himself into what he must be. He tells her that he was a zookeeper. He was weak, then a 500-lb. tiger needed his help. He didn’t just leap into her enclosure, and wasn’t seized by deep seated instinct. He deliberated for a few seconds, weighing the risk of approaching such a beast or not. He decided he wanted to be the one who leapt. Years later, Benjamin told him what he knew, but couldn’t hear – if you’re asked to be the hero, be the hero. He’s not ready, but made the decision on who he’ll be. He asks if it was easier for her. Was she always this strong and brave, or did she decide? She says she decided, like him. Life decided some things too. He says it does, and it will.

Zombies start to close in, but Carol mows them down. She says there’s nothing she can do about them getting the guns. Jerry finally gets the padlock off, and helps them through the fence. Ezekiel says, word to Rick before the guns get to the Sanctuary. Carol says they won’t be going there. The truck speeds past, with Daryl not far behind it, and Rick behind him.

The driver sees Daryl in his rear-view mirror. Daryl shoots, but the back panel drops down, and there’s a guy with a machine gun. Daryl swerves, and ends up off the road, with the bike falling and sliding. Rick keeps going, serpentine behind the truck. The Savior veers to avoid some zombies, and the shooter in the back is thrown. Rick gets Death Proof close to the truck, and jumps in. He punches the driver in the kidneys, and tosses him out. Nice work.

Daryl sees the truck off the road on its side, and Rick comes crawling out of the weeds. He says they got the guns; let’s see if this a-hole is alive.

Carol, Jerry, and Ezekiel continue on. Ezekiel says they have to leave him; he’s slowing them down. Carol says no way. At least these are slow zombies. They come to a creek, and the place is teaming with them, some of them downright skeletal. I start thinking, wait a minute, wouldn’t the spine deteriorate at some point? How come we don’t see piles of bones everywhere? Carol says they’re almost out of ammo. Ezekiel tells Jerry he’s not his king, and to leave him. He tells them to go, saying he ain’t no king; he’s just some guy.

Shiva to the rescue! Carol and Jerry help Ezekiel up. Shiva attacks the zombies.

Screw this show. The zombies got her. I am so over this. I’m livid.

Ezekiel comes back. He sees the boy he spoke to in the beginning, and touches his face.

😠 I hate this show right now. I’ve had such little investment in the characters, because it’s so one-note. It’s a relentless downer, which is fine for a two-hour film, but not week after week. I understand that it comes from a graphic novel series, but again, it’s a weekly show, and should play differently. There’s just no balance here. It’s not realistic. Before you say the whole zombie apocalypse is unrealistic (could happen), hear me out. It’s not realistic for what it is. If this was a real situation, you’d have more of a variety of people, not just depressing ones. Somebody would be cracking jokes, or at least being sarcastic. They found some balance with Abe, then they killed him off. I was growing weary of the dark atmosphere at that point, but Ezekiel, the Kingdom, and Shiva were bringing me around. (And Negan, who I find amusing.) So what do they do? Kill almost all of them off, let the zombies get the tiger, and no doubt Ezekiel will be his own version of walking dead now. I never like when a show is obvious about eliciting emotion from the audience. This was even worse than Viserion on Game of Thrones. And at least they have Peter Dinklage, king of the medieval one-liners. While Z Nation can be silly at times, they’ve managed to pack both variety and heart into the show, and still give the audience zombie thrills as well as melancholy. Honestly, I’ll probably finish out the season, but I think I’m out. If I want to get depressed, I can look at my bank account. I would have rather seen Rick get it. I hope Negan wins.

😑 Next time, too busy being annoyed to even pay attention.

90 Day Trifecta

I never did find out why Pedro called Chantel “Pinky,” but moving on, and catching up.

Starting with Before the 90 Days, we have Cortney and Antonio. He’s from Spain, and this looked like a catfish in the beginning, especially since he was a model, but he turned out to be the real deal. Antonio said he liked smart girls, and my advice was to not date Cortney, but the whole thing surprised me. After giving a negative first impression, and being relegated to sleeping on the couch, Antonio finally won her over and they got busy. She told us it was better than expected, and I was thrilled she shared that information. Not really. All was well until his A/C went out. I don’t blame Cortney for not wanting to share a cramped apartment in 90 degrees, but she whined so much, he ended up leaving to do laundry at his mother’s house and stayed the night. When he came back and wanted to go flamenco dancing, Cortney started crying. He decided she shouldn’t have any more whine wine, and asked if she was getting her period. Wrong, wrong, and more wrong. Even though they somehow got it together again, and got all I’ll-miss-you weepy at the airport, I was pretty certain that this would be the end for them. Not so. On a Tell All special after the season ended, where he contributed via Skype, they were in a committed relationship with each other. He sent her one of his sexy photo calendars, which her parents have hung up in their kitchen. I have no words. Cortney also told us that in Spain, women will come right up to your table while you’re on a date, and ask for the guy’s number. I should add, Antonio did not give his out, and claims he’s being faithful. I might as well believe him. I’ve been wrong about this one the entire way through.

Patrick went to Paris, and Myriam’s big secret was that she already had a boyfriend. It was so uncalled for and sad. I couldn’t fathom why she wouldn’t have told him this before he spent a fortune to go halfway around the world to meet her. He might have gone anyway, but that should have been his decision to make. It’s the worst when a decision is taken from you because you didn’t know the truth. He told Myriam he had to take a breath, and called his mom, who freaked out. He decided to stay and change Myriam’s mind, and spent the rest of his time there trying to do just that. We never saw Myriam’s boyfriend, but he sounded like a dud. It seemed to me, the real reason she’s with him is because they’re both Muslim. In the end, on a romantic boat ride/dinner, the kind Myriam wished her boyfriend would be into, she told Patrick that she’d give him a chance if circumstances were different. But they weren’t, and her parting words were basically c’est la vie. During the Tell All, both Myriam and Patrick’s mother were on Skype. Patrick’s mother just about cursed Myriam out, and told her karma was a bitch that would bite her in the ass. Myriam insisted that Patrick knew their flirting was nothing serious before he came to visit. Patrick was just like, I’ll be waiting when you dump your sorry ass boyfriend.

Sean finally met Abby’s ex, Chris. Abby took him to beautiful places to get his mind off of it beforehand, so we got to see some of Haiti. And it was, indeed, beautiful. Sean waited with a scowl on his face, while Abby picked Chris up. Their meeting was over before it began, and Sean told Abby that Chris was “poisonous.” I hadn’t gotten that impression, although he was flirty with her in the cab, but more on that in a minute. He told her that if she wanted a relationship with him, she had to ditch Chris. They couldn’t have a healthy relationship with him in the picture. Abby wasn’t thrilled with an ultimatum, but said she’d do it “for love.” Sean went home, but then came back and asked her to marry him. During the Tell All, we found out that Sean was right, and Chris is a 64-year-old a-hole who was basically using Abby as a sidepiece. She’d cut all ties with him but – let’s scratch our heads here – she was calling from his condo where she was staying. Supposedly, he wasn’t in town, and she planned to be gone before his return, but I’m not sure why she couldn’t call from somewhere else. I like Abby. She seems mature and seems to genuinely love Sean, but this gives me pause. My opinion to be continued.

Darcy’s visit with Jesse went downhill when she started to have enough of his healthy lifestyle, and militaristic attitude about everything. She met with Jesse’s mom, who is super cool, and honest without being an a-hole, unlike his stepdad and best friend. They had some wine, and his mom told Darcy to take her time. Darcy had another drink at the bar, ignoring Jesse’s texts and messages. When she got back to the apartment, he said she was “obviously highly intoxicated,” which he backed up in his interview, claiming she kept looking at the ground and being “sassy.” She decided to spend the night in a hotel, since he was harshing her buzz. He called the producer, saying she was drunk and irresponsible, and had run off. On her end, she claimed to be only tipsy, and said she left to do her own thing. No camera crew was there, so it’s hard to tell what really happened. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall. In the morning, Jesse came to the hotel. He told Darcy that he has issues with drinking because he’d lost people to the bottle, which explains a lot IMO. He asked her to promise never to drink again, and surprisingly, she agreed. The worst part of all was when, near the end of her trip, Jesse took Darcy to some place with windmills and bridges that was supposed to be iconic and romantic. He got down on one knee, told her how wonderful she was and how much he loved her, showed her a ring, and said this wasn’t a proposal. The ring was an “appreciation ring.” What? Even though Darcy has been tireless in her pursuit of an engagement, this was cruel and unusual punishment. It was like the ring on a string Schwartz gave Katie on Vanderpump Rules. I agree that six weeks is too short, but that was just bizarre. So, like, are they going steady now?

It got better during the Tell All, when Jesse made a surprise appearance. He acted like his robot self, and she was obviously uncomfortable. When asked what the biggest strain in their relationship was, they bleeped whatever Jesse said. I checked around and found a Reddit thread where it was being discussed. A user thought he’d said “bullsh*t.” I watched it a couple of times, and decided to accept that answer. What it means, I don’t know, and Darcy was just as vague. In that same thread, some users thought she seemed like an abused woman, but there’s an ocean and more between them, so I don’t think that’s it. He doesn’t seem to be in any kind of hurry to move either. They went back and forth about their problems without actually naming what they were. Darcy did have “a couple of glasses of wine” – which I’ve decided is her euphemism for getting sh*tfaced – with her sister on some occasion, Jesse wasn’t too happy about that, and she also had the nerve not to think it was no big deal. At one point, Jesse jumped up, said it was over, but then they left holding hands. And he hassled her about wearing his jacket on the way to the car because it was cold. I give up.

It was a real toss-up as to who gets the title of the WTF? Couple – Jesse and Darcy or Paul and Karine. The machete attack won. Because it wasn’t bad enough that Paul made Karine take an STD and pregnancy test prior to their “being intimate,” he kept saying that he had a secret. He continued to fret about it, while we were kept in suspense for weeks. I started thinking that maybe he had been born a woman, when he revealed that he had a “criminal past.” Then I thought maybe he stole some Star Wars action figures. The real story was that there was an ex with a restraining order against him, and he’d done prison time for arson; setting his own house on fire. He never really said whether he was guilty or not, so I’m assuming he has some issues, and the answer is yes. No big shock that Karine was knocked for a loop, but before she had a chance to process this information, Paul went on a kooky little adventure. He ran like a girl through the woods, until he got to the river. Then he clung to a tree, repeating, don’t let me get in this water, over and over. In his interview, he said at that moment, he didn’t care what happened to him, if he got some disease or was bitten by a snake: he’s a bad person. He certainly cared about making a production of it. Karine followed him, and was like, what is up with this, Paul? He basically said he wasn’t good enough for her, and believe me, if a guy ever says that, take him at his word and run. Karine just wanted to get the hell out of the woods, and left Paul still being weird.

It got better. While Paul was busy wallowing in self-pity, Karine’s phone was stolen. She’d already said something about it not being a good area, so why he chose to put this act on there is a mystery. When Karine got back to the more public space, a guy came running up with a machete, and demanded her phone. The camera crew was like, we just got mugged, and it looked like some kind of gang was going through the park, robbing people. They ran into the woods, cops ran after them, shots were fired, and Karine just wanted to go home and never think about Paul again. But that’s not how it ended.

She decided to stay with a friend, and he followed her like the stalker he no doubt is. She forgave him, and after an elaborate proposal on the beach, said yes to marrying him. Good luck with this guy. Are times this desperate? During the Tell All, she and Paul were together in Brazil, participating via Skype. I did wonder if the machete business had been staged, when he got so upset about the topic, he had to walk away, but she didn’t even seem fazed. Although maybe it happens so often there, she’s used to it. Either way, it was strange. Also disconcerting, was when Paul was asked if he returned the favor and also took an STD test. He said he did, and it was nerve-wracking. Why that would be, since he’s not exactly a Casanova, I have no idea, but chalked it up to his many neuroses. What was bothersome was that Karine claimed to have never seen the results, but he asked her if she didn’t remember looking at them on the phone together. 1) For such a paranoid dude, how come he’s doing all this online? and 2) she looked like she had no idea what he was talking about. Referee TV host, Shaun Robinson, added to the insanity by screeching Karine’s name repeatedly when Paul revealed he was with her. I can’t figure this woman out; the way she mugs for the camera is insane. I also can’t figure Paul out. Is he a trust fund baby? Does he work? Either Karine is a desperate girl or there is something seriously lost in the translation here.

On the flipside, there are a few interesting characters on the new season of original 90 Day Fiancé.

Larry – the one who makes me laugh every time he says Filipino Cupid, and the desperation with which he looks at the camera – met Jenny’s family, who had a humongous barbecue for him, which included a roast pig. Here’s where Larry went wrong. Now I’ve been to a pig roast, and although I was creeped out by seeing the entire pig, the smell was heavenly, and it tasted delicious. Apparently, Larry has a tender tummy, because he made it obvious that he could not eat this, bringing Jenny to tears, and disgrace upon the family. They worked things out, and both have decided to wait until marriage for sex, so there was no make-up anything. Larry informed us that he hasn’t had sex in fourteen years, and we’ll just leave it at that.

There are a couple of other standouts. David and the much younger Annie, who is from a poor village in Thailand. David had to give her parents a couple of oxen or something as dowry. There was an engagement party, and the entire village had a parade for him, because it was a huge honor. David handed out money right and left per some tradition I’ve never heard of, and was king for a day, even though this whole enterprise has tapped him out. When they get back to the states, he and Annie will be temporarily staying with friend Chris and his wife. They spent a couple of days in Bangkok, met up with them, and I decided Chris is a creeper. He started off saying mi casa es su casa, and by the end of the conversation, suggested Annie not only cook for them in exchange for rent (the applicant can’t work during the 90 day period), but give him massages. There was a silence heard around the world – one in which Chris’s wife said nothing and looked at no one; she didn’t even kick him under the table – and Annie told him she didn’t mind doing the cooking, but wasn’t giving massages. You’d think David would have spoken up, and later, Annie asked him if Chris got the idea from him. He claimed the only thing he’d ever said was that she gave him a massage. I believe it, and I think it’s a mistake to move in with those people. Honestly, it was one of the creepiest moments in this franchise so far, and that’s saying a lot.

There’s also Nicole, single mother to May, and Azan, who is from Morocco. From the jump, it wasn’t looking good, and his motives were suspect. Nicole’s first visit to Morocco was exhausting for the both of us – I got tired just watching. She’s a large girl, and he seemed disappointed about that when they met, although if they’ve been video chatting or even sharing pictures, I find it hard to believe he wouldn’t have noticed. She wanted to be affectionate, and he kept telling her it was a no-no in public there. He was annoyed that she didn’t show more decorum, and made her promise to eat healthier and exercise. Nicole’s mother hasn’t been thrilled with anything here, and refused to sponsor him for the K-1 visa. Since Nicole doesn’t make enough money, she needed a kind of co-signer. Her father – her parents are divorced, and both have remarried – decided to step up to the plate, figuring he can keep an eye on her if she stays in the states. Nicole made a second trip to Morocco, this time with her daughter. It was another fiasco, since May is a rather energetic child. Azan and Nicole disagreed on parenting methods. A visit to his family made me wonder if he was adopted. They seemed like lovely, joyful people, and very welcoming to both Nicole and May. Maybe they want to get rid of him. Nicole also “cheated” on him prior to them meeting IRL. What this actually means, I’m not sure. It wasn’t bad enough that she kept begging his forgiveness for this transgression, she also went out with a male friend to a club, and had not told Azan, who thought she’d gone with girlfriends, and it made him question the relationship. Not sure where this is going to go, but it smells bad. She seems desperate for a husband and father, and he seems like he might be desperate for… something. He doesn’t sound necessarily gung-ho about moving to America. Maybe he just wants someone to control, but if so, you’d think it would be easier for him to find a girlfriend at home. I can’t even see what these two have in common, besides… nope, nothing.

There are three other couples, but they aren’t quite as interesting because they seem almost normal. However, that’s always subject to change. I still have to watch tonight’s episode.

After the pig fiasco, Jenny told Larry that she never cries for men, mens cry for her. It was like a moment out of a telenova, and I realized that I watch this with a combination of amusement and horror. I also know more about the K-1 visa than I ever wanted to. And I’ve learned that if you want to act like an a-hole, just say it’s part of your culture and get offended if people don’t respect it.

90 Day Fiancé – where stupid people meet.



November 10, 2017 – Both Jasons are Jason, Roni Wakes Up, Insane Clown Zombies & Quaternary Quotes


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

At Pizzulo’s, Carly wants to toast to Michael kicking Nelle to the curb. Sonny says Michael is hurting, but Carly tells him, what happens in Pizzulo’s stays in Pizzulo’s. Jordan comes by. Sonny says it’s been a long day, and she tells him it’s not over yet.

Ava can’t make sense of the files. Kiki can’t do much better. Ava says Klein used cutting edge techniques, and these are the schematics she can be healed with. Kiki adds, and a doctor who can perform the treatment.

David asks Griff about the area. He’s looking to invest in property, but with the riverfront being declared historic, he has to look elsewhere. Griff knows nothing, but David thinks a certain lady friend might know more.

Alexis offers Monica an ear if she needs to talk. Monica says she’s not sure what she’d have to say. A guy drops through the skylight, looks like her son, and claims to be her son. She tells Alexis to put her energy into helping Sam. She’s fine; she always is.

Other Jason goes to the family crypt.

Real Jason asks if he can come in. Sam steps aside but says nothing. Real Jason asks if he’s here. Sam says no, but doesn’t think it’s a good idea for him to stay. Scout starts crying, and Sam tells him that’s her daughter.

David asks how Alexis is faring since the MetroCourt party, and she says it’s been a trying couple of days. He apologizes for bowing out at the last minute, but she thinks maybe he should be glad. He wants to make it up to her. She has a lot going on right now with Sam and her ex-husband, and David says exes have way of making presence known, no matter how far the distance. She tells him not to put his life on hold for her, but something tells him she’s worth it.

Ava tells Kiki that she’s made incredible progress, but no one knows how to replicate the process. Kiki says it’s promising. Ava wonders why she can’t manage some enthusiasm. Kiki says there’s no proof it works, and Ava says she’s proof. Why can’t Kiki be supportive, or does she want Ava to stay like this?

Sam brings Scout downstairs. Real Jason says she’s beautiful, and Sam says her name is Emily Scout Morgan. He says she named her after his sister; Emily would have loved that. He thanks her.

Other Jason tells Alan the only brother he came to know is Sonny, but he’s not sure about anything anymore. There’s nothing for him there, and he doesn’t know why he came. Monica stands in the doorway.

Jordan’s not there to socialize; they have business. He posted bail for Klein, and she’d like to know why. Sonny had questions the PCPD couldn’t answer. She says Klein had better show up for his hearing, and Sonny says he walked out without a scratch. She asks if the conversation was productive. Sonny says, you show me yours, and I’ll show you mine. Carly tells her they know DNA tests were arranged, and they want to know the results.

Kiki tells Ava, of course she wants her to be whole. Ava asks if she’s sure. Maybe she likes being in charge. Kiki wonders if Ava thinks she’s worried about Ava stealing her boyfriend again. Ava says she thought she had a handle on things, but maybe she doesn’t. Kiki says she’s reinventing the gallery and has a wonderful man in her life. She battled despair, and has a great life to show for it. Ava asks how long before Griff meets someone whose face is intact and has no baggage? Kiki is surprised Ava thinks that’s the kind of man Griff is; the lack of confidence is unlike her. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Alexis, and Ava says she knows Julian is in prison, right? Kiki leaves, and Alexis asks to come in. Ava asks what it’s about, and Alexis says Julian is in trouble.

Jordan tells Carly that everyone wants to know which man has the rightful claim to be Jason, but there won’t be any advance notice. Carly says the longer it’s dragged out, the harder it is on everyone, especially Jake Doe. Jordan notes that Carly has already changed his name. Carly says he needs to see the results; it’s the only way he’ll accept the truth. Jordan says there are a lot of assumptions going around, and they’ll get the results when they get them. She tells them not to go running to Dante either. She doesn’t want the past or their relationship interfering with the case they’re building against Klein and his men. They need to find out who’s in charge, and she asks if Sonny knows. Sonny says Klein called the person in front of him, but it was a burner phone. He does know the call originated from Port Charles.

Real Jason says Sam finally has a little girl and Danny has a little sister. Sam says Danny is absolutely in love with her, and named her. He’d wanted a puppy to name Scout, but named the baby instead. She tells him about how the Quartermaines ended up with the dog, and he and Danny get in all kinds of trouble together. Real Jason says Carly told him, but he was kind of distracted. He tells her what matters is, she has two beautiful children and she’s happy.

Monica tells Other Jason that the groundskeeper said someone nosing around. He asks what if he was burglar, but she saw his motorcycle. He apologizes, and she says don’t; he’s always welcome there. He says she might change her mind when she hears what he has to say. She asks if it has anything to do with the man who dropped through the skylight, and Other Jason asks if they’ve met. She says no, and she’s glad, since she wouldn’t know what to do. Other Jason says he says he’s Jason. Monica asks what he says, and he tells her he’d never lie to her. She says he’s her son, and always will be. They hug, and Other Jason says, the thing is, he might be her son too.

Kiki asks David for his help.

Alexis tells Ava that Julian is in trouble, and Ava says what else is new? Alexis tells her that he’s alone with no one to back him up. Scotty alerted her to a certain faction being after him, and Ava says that happens in prison. Alexis wonders why she doesn’t seem to care. Ava says she tried to visit him twice, and he refused. He won’t take her calls or email, and won’t use the money she puts in the commissary for him. Alexis says he was beaten badly, and she needs to do something. She says Ava knows people who can help him. Ava asks with what, paintings and sculptures. Alexis says Ava isn’t exactly a law-abiding citizen, and had wanted to take over the organization. She can call in a favor. Ava says she has nothing; she left that life behind. Alexis is a lawyer, and better equipped to deal with it. Ava wonders if Alexis is worried she’ll send the wrong message – or the right one. She’s still in love with him.

Sonny tells Jordan that the voice was altered, but when Klein wanted help, his boss cut him loose, and said he’s on his own from now on. Jordan asks if Sonny is still in possession of the phone, and he says he’ll see if he can find it. She tells him it’s not a trophy; it’s evidence in the shootings and a murder. Carly says the chain of evidence has already been broken. The best they can hope for is to get more information, and build a case. Sonny wonders why he pays Diane when he has Carly. Carly says for all they know, the phone was misplaced. Sonny says he’ll look for it, and if he finds it, he’ll send it over asap. Jordan understands that it’s personal; some is screwing with their friends, but when Sonny goes it alone, people get killed.

Jordan leaves, and Carly asks Sonny if he’s sure the boss is in Port Charles, and if Real Jason knows. Sonny says he was there, and seems fine, better than he would be. Carly feels like she betrayed him. She forced Sonny to accept Jake Doe, like she forced Jake Doe to accept he was Jason, and it turned out not to be true. Sonny says whatever happened is still happening, and it’s not her fault. She feels worse for Jason and Jake Doe. Jason’s entire life was taken over by someone else, and Jake Doe is realizing his life was never his own.

Other Jason tells Monica about the twins, and how Heather took one baby, and placed the other with Betsy. Monica says Alan had a child he didn’t know about because of that gold digging tramp and her lunatic cousin. Other Jason says he’ll find answers, whatever they may be. Monica says she’ll do everything she can to help. He has to get back, since he told Sam that he was clearing his head. She tells him that she overheard what he was saying, but there is something there for him – his home and her. She kisses his hand.

Sam has no idea how two men can think they’re the same person, and neither does Real Jason. When he saw her and Other Jason together, he had no idea Other Jason thought he was Real Jason. He woke up in a clinic where they’d been drugging him, and he lost track of time. He was stuck in wheelchair, parked in front of a window where he sat for hours, thinking of how to escape, and get back to her and Danny. He’s glad Danny’s not Franco’s son, and will never have to deal with what Franco did. Real Jason says he would love him no matter what. In his heart Danny is theirs no matter what. He wanted to tell her that; he needed her to know.

Ava tells Alexis it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Alexis asks if Julian being targeted by jailhouse thugs concerns her at any level. She tells Ava to stop digging at her and care. Ava says there’s nothing she can do, and tells Alexis to toughen up and handle her own problems. Doesn’t she have a sponsor to help figure things out?

Sam asks how Real Jason got to Port Charles, and he says another patient at the clinic helped him – Ava Jerome. Sam says Ava is he aunt, and he says she told him her brother was Sam’s father. She asks if he knows anything about the Jeromes, but he says they were played out by the time Sonny took over. Sam explains that Julian met her mother at bar in New Hampshire when he was in college, and she was in high school. Alexis got pregnant in the back seat of a car, and years later, he came back. He was part of the witness protection program, and went by the name Derek Wells. He figured out that he was her father, and he and Alexis fell back in love, if you can call it that. Sam says he’s an abusive pig, and lied to Alexis and made her lie for him. He held a knife to her throat, and almost killed her. He’s in prison now for other crimes, but he broke her. She almost lost her career and started drinking. She’s in recovery, but will struggle for the rest of her life because of him. Real Jason says he’s sorry, and Sam says Alexis still loves him. It’s the kind of love that just is. You can’t stop feeling it, can’t deny it, and can’t shut it down. All you can do is choose not to act on it, and accept the reality that the person you’ll always love can’t be in your life. Scout fusses, and Sam asks him to tend to her while she gets whatever. He picks her up. You know what’s going to happen, right? He says he was almost her father.

Carly thinks they should contact Sam’s husband, and let him know what they know. Sonny says they need to bring him back in the loop, and Carly says he shouldn’t have been left out of it; it must be overwhelming. The both realize they haven’t talked to him since Sam was in the hospital. Carly wants to call him, but doesn’t know what to say. He thinks they stabbed him in the back. He might not be Jason, but he’s still their friend. Sonny says he’s always been loyal, and never done them wrong. They can’t abandon him,

Real Jason tells Scout about her big sister, Lila, who’s in heaven. He says she never got a chance to be in the world and do the cool things Scout will. Her mom never held her, but loved her, and so did he. Lila brought him and Sam together. She gave them a reason to be patient with each other, to understand and forgive and have a chance to fall in love – the kind of love that just is. Yep. Other Jason walks in and says get away from his daughter or he’s going to kill him.

Ava looks at the laptop and wonders what happened to the research/ A lightbulb comes on over her head, and she says, Kiki.

Kiki shows David and Griff the flash drive. She says obviously it’s over her head, and she wanted it reviewed without her mother around, so she didn’t feel pressured to tell her what she wants to hear. David says the research is sound, and it’s groundbreaking, but it’s untested. Kiki says it worked on her mom, and supposedly other people. Griff says they didn’t operate under any supervision, and there was no peer review. They don’t know what side effects might occur. David says they’re sympathetic, but can’t help. It basically amounts to voodoo, and no doctor in their right mind would get involved

Monica remembers saying that she had to let go of who she wanted her son to be, and love the man he’s become, and that she wants a relationship with her son.

Sam comes back from the kitchen, saying she was just getting a bottle. Other Jason says Real Jason will stay away from his family. Carly and Sonny show up, and Other Jason says their friend was just leaving. Sam says they can’t keep doing this.

Ava sees Griff, and asks if he’s seen Kiki. He asks if she’s looking for her daughter, or this, showing her the flash drive. Ava asks if Kiki told him what’s on it, and he says she showed it to David in hopes they could finish the work. She asks what the verdict is. He says they reviewed Klein’s notes. Neither of them are experts on the subject, but they agree that moving forward would be a bad idea. It’s a gamble for both the patient and the doctor. She says she doesn’t need any doctor, just the one she’s looking at – him.

On the phone, Alexis requests a visit with Olivia Jerome. She listens, then asks for her attorney, and says, contact Nora.

Sam tells everyone that Scout is at the Quartermaines, and they have to figure out way to deal. What they’re doing isn’t working. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Jordan, and she’s like, oh good, everyone is here. Other Jason asks why she’s there, and she says they ran separate DNA tests on both individuals claiming to be Jason Morgan. She has the results

Monica remembers Real Jason talking about when he woke up and things didn’t make sense. She tells him she loves him, and he says he loves her too. She touches Alan’s plaque, and says she could be on the verge of a miracle. She wishes he was around to witness it.

Other Whiny Jason tells Jordan they didn’t have his permission for a test. She says they didn’t need it. It’s a matter of public safety. They can’t have two guys running around saying they’re the same person. Sonny says they just want answers. She tells them they had the tests double-checked, and the test confirms Other Jason is Jason Morgan, and Real Jason is also a match. Everyone stares at her.

On Monday, Nora meets with Alexis, Maxie tells Lulu she has an idea to solve their problems, and Scotty asks Franco who the real Jason is.

Once Upon a Time

Today, Henry says the photograph is supposed to be a scene from his book, with Roni as the Evil Queen; he doctored the picture. Roni says Victoria is screwing with them. Jacinda blows in, but I get interrupted, and she blows out in the one and a half minutes I’m not listening. Henry is like what was that, and Roni says this is all the magic she’s got, and clinks beer bottles with him.

In the other realm, Henry teaches Cinderella about a torque wrench. A group of ruffians appears, and says, oh wow, look at the magic chariot. Henry figures they want to kill them, and take said chariot, and the head thug says he’s smarter than he looks. Henry says, too bad you’re not, and the fight starts. Regina appears, and says get away from her son, fireball at the ready, but he and Cinderella are doing fine for themselves. They win the fight, and Henry tells Regina they’re fine thanks to this, and shows her his lunchbox. She says she got it for him when he was ten, and here he is with a sword, motorcycle, and girl. He suggests she come along, but she says she’s busy. He doesn’t need his mother around all the time anymore, and obviously can take care of himself.

In Seattle, Ivy asks Victoria is she’s okay. She has a migraine. Ivy thinks maybe the flowers triggered it, and says she’ll remove them. She brings them to the secret room. The witch grabs them, saying she can’t wait. They have the tiniest seed of the magic required, but need fertile ground. She tells Ivy to be patient, and remember how they survive. Ivy closes her eyes, and imagines her mother’s destruction, which I guess is her happy place. The witch says Veronica isn’t the only one to be wary of. It might not have been wise to give Regina the photo. Ivy says by the end of the day, she won’t be a problem.

Henry shows Roni pictures of him on social media, having a drink with Ivy. That’s probably what Lucinda was in and out about. Lucy runs in, and wants to see the picture of Henry and Regina. She remembers reading the scene in his book, and says Roni is Regina. She adopted Henry in the real world in Boston. Roni says give it up; the picture is fake. Lucy says Henry never gave up, and she won’t either. Regina will break the curse. She just has to remember, and Lucy knows exactly how to do it.

Weaver is feeling better after getting shot, and wants to go back to work, but Rogers says the captain wants him to stick it out for a week. Weaver says he’ll deal with the captain, and tells Rogers to watch his phone. He might have errands for him. Rogers asks Tilly what Weaver does when he needs her help, and she says, buy her lunch.

As they walk down the street, Henry tells Roni that she’s been quiet since Lucy dropped the Regina bomb. She says she did try to adopt once, but at the last minute the agency thought she wasn’t a good fit. He says she seems like mom to a lot of people around there. She thinks that if they pretend to believe Lucy, it will stop her from being defensive. The sooner the fantasy fades, the sooner things will get better. Henry calls it Operation Heartbreak. They see the food truck, and Roni tells Henry to ask Lucina out – be charming and don’t slouch.

In the enchanted forest, Regina sees a hooded figure. The figure picks up a fancy box, and opens it. Tree branches come snaking out and she drops it. The branches get bigger, and it turns into a giant Venus flytrap, kind of like Audrey Jr. in Little Shop of Horrors, but prettier. It begins to envelop the figure, and Regina gets a fireball ready. She throws it at the flytrap and destroys it. She says be careful about strange magic. The figure removes its hood, and it’s Drizella. Regina says she should have let that thing eat her; she tried to kill her son. Drizella says she’s through doing things for her mother. Regina thought she was marrying the prince, but Drizella says that wasn’t her choice. She says she was born with magic, but never allowed to cultivate it. If she can’t use her own magic, she’ll use someone else’s. Regina understands. She also had a controlling mother. She says perhaps she can help, but Drizella doesn’t need to steal it. She can use the gift she was born with.

Ivy brings a mound of earth to the witch, who says she’s been under Victoria’s thumb for too long. She messes with the dirt and something grows out of it. It’s Groot! Not really. Ivy says it’s perfect, and the witch says it’s dangerous. Ivy says they’ll see if Regina is as powerful as she thinks she is, and puts pieces of it in a jar.

Jacinda works on the truck. Henry holds a boombox. He says last time he was single, mix tapes worked when he wanted to ask a girl out. She asks if he’s asking her out. He babbles about John Hughes movies, saying he feels the need to explain himself with her. He can’t stop thinking about her. She says he has seen a lot of John Hughes movies. She has a daughter, a business, and no time. He says he has nothing but, and if she gets some, he’d like to take her on a date. She says what about now? Mix tapes always work. He can help her with the truck. They both roll underneath it.

Roni finds Lucy. Lucy tells her when Henry needed magic the most, a book showed up for him, and when they touch it, they remember who they are. Roni says if she grabbed it, she’d remember being a queen? She’d love to believe it, and knows enough to know she doesn’t know everything. She suggests they prove this thing together. Lucy hugs her.

Regina gives Drizella magic lessons. Drizella thinks she’s wasting Regina’s time. Regina says she just needs the right motivation. Rocks start to fall from the mountain above them, and Drizella stops them. She didn’t think she could do it, or it was even possible. Regina says if she believes in herself, it is. She’s a lot like Regina was, but she didn’t have the right guide. Her power came from anger and hate. She did terrible things, and cast a dark curse. Drizella asks if she got what she wanted, and Regina says for a while, but she wanted the wrong things. The only thing that’s truly made her happy was her son Henry. Drizella wishes she had a mother like Regina. Don’t we all? says Rumpelstiltskin, who is suddenly on the scene.

Roni gives Weaver some booze as a get-well gift. She asks if he can find out if a woman applied to adopt a baby. Her name is Regina Mills. Weaver asks what would make him want to take this on? Roni says she’ll owe him one. He says they have a deal.

Tilly asks for a rematch while she and Rogers chat. She asks about Eloise Gardener. Rogers says she was a normal kid up until she disappeared. She was an amateur poet; fearless, but something spooked her. He shows Tilly the rune in the journal. He says all that matters is that she disappeared. Tilly says take a good look at the board. What pieces doesn’t he have? What does he need to pay attention to, to find himself on a different path that leads to Eloise?

Weaver goes to Roni’s, and tells her there was a Regina Mills who adopted a baby boy in Boston. She says that’s impossible; she didn’t think it was going to work. Weaver wonders why she’d ask for help, and she says she wanted information, not to be interrogated. He gives her an envelope with all the information, saying what are friends for if not favors? She owes him one.

Regina tells Rumpel that all those years went by in the blink of an eye for them, and he lived a lifetime with Belle. He says they lived a good life; she made him a new man. He’s finally ready to pass on the path of the Dark One the right way. He says change is inevitable. Regina says tell her about it; her son no longer needs her. He asks about Drizella, and she says Drizella has raw talent. She needs to get on the right path, and stand up to her mother. Rumpel wonders why Lady Tremaine would want Drizella to learn magic.

Drizella looks in a mirror and sees her mother standing over Anastasia. Lady Tremaine reaches in and takes out Anastasia’s heart. Regina says she’s practicing for waking her up. She nearly ripped out her son’s heart. The only way to wake her is to replace her heart, and Drizella thinks it’s going to be her who provides the replacement. She always knew her mother loved Anastasia more, but didn’t realize how much until now. She says she’ll never be free. Regina says she’ll help; she can protect her heart. Drizella asks Regina to help her kill her mother. Regina says she can’t let her go down that dark path. Drizella says she thought Regina cared, and Regina tells her that’s why she’s saying no. Drizella says that sounds like what her mother told her, and if she’s not going to help, she knows a prince who will.

Rogers looks at the paperwork of the dude with the rune tattoo. He goes to his house. When there’s no answer, he looks through the window, and sees the guy lying on the floor. He breaks in.

Roni looks at the adoption papers; She writes Regina Mills, and compares it to the signature. They look the same.

Lady Tremaine is hovering over Anastasia, and Drizella comes in, dragging along Prince Gregory. He says he won’t let her harm his bride, and suddenly freezes. Regina appears, saying she doesn’t want to do this. Drizella says she tried to get her mother to love her, but she’s never going to. Regina tells her not to kill Lady Tremaine, but Drizella says she didn’t bring Gregory to kill her. She opens the fancy box, and the tree thing pops out, spearing Gregory. Drizella says she’s giving her mother what she wants. Regina asks her what she’s done. What is she so afraid of that’s turned her heart black?

Drizella tells her mother she failed. Lady Tremaine asks if she wants congratulations, and Drizella says she wants her to suffer. She threatens a dark curse, and Regina tells her a curse is never worth the cost. Drizella is going to transport her mother to another realm, and plant the seed of pain in her life. It will start small, but it will grow until everything she sees, every breath is pain. Regina tries to get her to listen. She wanted to help, but she’ll do whatever it takes to stop her. Heroes can always break curses. Drizella says then she’ll make hers unbreakable, and thanks Regina for the final lesson. She disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Ivy goes to Roni’s, insisting they have a top-shelf drink. Roni says what she found out had better be good. Ivy says it’s about what Roni found. She needed Roni to go on an adventure. What if Henry’s fairytales were true? Roni asks if Ivy put something in her drink. She starts to remember Storybrooke, and she’s like, omg. Ivy says, welcome back, Regina.

Roni says, Drizella, and Drizella asks if she missed her. She tells Roni she has no magic yet. It was just enough to wake her up. Henry calls, but Drizella says she wouldn’t answer yet. Roni is foggy, and Drizella tells her to give it a minute. It all starts coming back. Drizella reminds her that she said she’d make her curse hero-proof. She tells Regina to remember what she did before the curse, and why she can’t allow it to be broken. If it is, something very bad happens to the people she loves. She should be proud; the student surpassed the master, the sign of a great teacher. Roni asks if she wants a gold star or did she wake her to gloat. Drizella says she needs help. She’s on the verge of showing her mother what true suffering is, and she can’t break the curse now. Roni says, Cinderella, and Drizella tells her to do whatever it takes to stop true love’s kiss from happening. It shouldn’t be too hard for the Evil Queen. Breaking hearts is what she’s best at. Drizella leaves, and Roni cries.

Regina tells Henry that she came to help him. She thought he needed it, but he’s not kid anymore. He left Storybrooke, and can fight his own battles, and he has Ella. Henry says he still needs her. He can take care of bullies and brigands, but will always need her. She says she needs him. Living in Storybrooke without him isn’t worth anything. Whatever else she’s supposed to do with her life, she’s his mother first. She hugs him.

Sitting on a bench, Roni looks at the picture of her and Henry. Henry joins her, and says she’ll be happy to know things with Jacinda went well. They’re going to see where it goes. He asks how things are going with Lucy, and Roni thinks maybe it would help if she knew more about him, like his mother’s name. He says he was born in prison, just like his character, but he was never adopted; he grew up in the system, like Emma in his book. It used to bother him that no one liked he book, but he thinks he wrote it for himself. He dreamt of having a mother, and found a way to get her. Roni says she’s glad they’re getting to know each other, and Henry says he is too.

Next time, a two-hour episode, Rapunzel gets tangled up in the story, a trip to Wonderland, an astounding revelation, and Roni confronts Weaver about Rumpel.

Z Nation

A service is held for Lucy. She’s on a funeral pyre, her body covered, wearing a crown of flowers. Murphy say he’s sorry. Doc says they loved her from the moment she clawed her way into this world. She wove her way in and out of their journey, and was a bright spot in world of darkness; freaky, but a bright spot. In the short time she was alive, she damn near saved world. As another doctor once said, let’s not cry because she’s’ gone, but smile because she was here. 10K lights the pyre. Zombies throw themselves on it.

They stop on the road. Doc wonders what stinks. It smells like old French fries and zombie fish sticks. Roberta tells him it’s grease for fuel, and they’re lucky to have it. Murphy says they’ve got company, and a lone zombie ambles toward them. Murphy starts walking. Roberta tells Doc that he has something to work out. He whacks it, and keeps on whacking. Then he stomps on it.

They hear someone yelling for help. Roberta says keep going, but Murphy wants to stop. A sign says Mystery Hill Carnival, but the Carnival is changed to Carnevil.  Roberta tells Murphy to never get tout of the boat, but he wants to kill some bad guys. She says no good can come of this, and he says no good comes from anything.

Doc say it’s the world’s saddest carnival. Zombies grapple at the bottom of Ferris wheel, and a woman is tied to one of the seats. Doc says it’s not the zombies that make the apocalypse suck, it’s the people. The woman says they tied her there and left her for the Z’s. The zombies clamor at the fence; they’re wearing clown greasepaint. Doc distracts them, calling them over to car. Murphy works to get the woman down. Doc locks the zombies in the car, telling them hands and teeth inside the ride at all times. A stray zombie nearly gets Doc, but Murphy stabs it through the neck. The woman asks if they’re done playing around.

Roberta says she’ll live, and she wants to get back on the road. Murphy wants to know what happened. They can hear people inside the building. The woman babbles, and Murphy says he’s putting a stop to it. Roberta tells him it won’t bring Lucy back, or Red, or any of the others. 10k thinks Murphy is right, and follows. Doc thinks they’ll need help, and leaves too.

It’s a pretty ratty looking place. Doc sees a giant mushroom, and is glad 10K sees it too; he thought he was having flashbacks. Lily tells Roberta that Murphy has PZT, Post Zombie Trauma, bad. She says she’s not going in there. If she does, she’ll become a part of it, and she doesn’t want to. The woman carries on, asking if they have any Zagnuts, and saying she’s thirsty. Doc says it sounds like a lot of people in there, and Murphy says the more, the better. Roberta has joined them, and says it’s not their fight. She wants them to go, but Murphy says the apocalypse isn’t an excuse. She says those are humans, and even if they’re bad, there aren’t many left. The woman gripes to lily, and says she keeps the party going. She reminisces about good times, as Lily bandages her arm. She tells a long story, and it’s like when a drunk person tells a story and it’s only funny to them.

Murphy sees a couple of guys in makeup, and says it’s mad Z’s. 10K says, it’s not mad Z’s; it’s mad clowns. Doc tells them it could be worse. They could be mimes. The two guys are teasing a zombie they have buried up to its neck, reminding me of Motel Hell (highly recommended – It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters).

Lily asks what’s with the circus crap, and the woman explains that they wanted to form their own posse, like their heroes, the Juggalos, except they wanted their own thing, and call themselves the Zuggalos. She says they’re all family, and family always comes back. They’re better together. She suddenly doesn’t feel well, and wants her medicine from inside. Lily finds out it’s oxy the woman wants. She’d thought they ran out of that years ago, but the woman says they recycled it. They’re all so full of drugs, they filter their urine, dry it out, and snort it. It’s called Z-Wack. She asks Lily if she parties, but Lily says no; the apocalypse numbs her brain enough. The woman accuses Lily of thinking she’s better than they are, and then invites Lily in, saying they have Zagnuts and Fritos. And music, because life ain’t worth livin’ without it. They also have solar power. King knows how to work all that, but she’s going to kill him for disrespecting her. She tells Lily she’s just messing with her, but she’ll mess him up for sure.

Murphy says he’s seen enough, and stomps over to the men. Roberta tries to stop him, but the clowns notice, and one shoots at them. Murphy pushes Roberta out of the way, and goes after them with his cane sword. Roberta sees the landscape in her mind. She tells Murphy don’t do this, but it’s too late. Clowns come out of everywhere, with guns drawn. They’re not like regular circus clowns, but weird. And not weird like Pennywise, but more like Insane Clown Posse or Twisty.

King welcomes them to his humble home, and Dark Carnival of Mayhem. He says let the games begin, and Doc don’t think he means parcheesi. 10K is put on the Wheel of Sudden Death, and a guy throws a knife at him. He hits the clown spinning the wheel, and they both laugh. Alrighty then. Doc is getting balls thrown at his head, which is through a hole photo board picture. King announces they also have high tech torture, and we see Murphy in some kind of high voltage booth. They shock him, and King says it’s set to wussy and not even cranked up yet. Roberta plays a “drink for your life” game with King, where he asks her obscure music questions. If she’s wrong, she has to drink, and Murphy gets shocked. To everyone’s surprise, she gets the first question right. The next one is a trick question, and she gets a right answer, but not the right answer.

The woman asks Lily how long they’re waiting, and what if they don’t come back? They’re in a house full of knuckleheads on drugs. She notes how quiet it is, and says that’s when you worry. Someone yells, and she says that’s better. Lily tells her stay put; they tried to kill her. She says all the more reason she shouldn’t be left alone. Lily says to stick close and be quiet.

Everyone watches the drinking game. Doc gets himself free.

Roberta knows some rap lyrics, and they all get crazy.

A zombie grabs the woman. Lily incapacitates it, and the woman beats its head in. She says it was a friend of hers, and takes its weapon.

Doc wanders into an unfinished part of the house, and one of the clowns sees him. Doc gets backed into a corner. He sees a gun on the floor, and grabs it. He shoots, and a flag that says, Bang! pops out. That was pretty funny. The clown disappears, and Doc continues on, but it drops down from the ceiling behind him. He makes a run for Doc, who steps aside, and the clown goes out the window.

King and Roberta have a rap battle. Lily looks in the window, and tells the woman what’s happening inside. She wants to go in, and Lily tries to stop her, but is unsuccessful. Doc frees 10K, who tells him that Roberta is kicking King’s ass at the mic. King calls Roberta his Zuggalo queen, and the clowns start chanting, wedding, and then, Warren. They all raise their cups, and Murphy chants along with them. Doc asks 10K if he wants to crash a wedding. A clown with a gun stops them, and he says they’re with the bride.

Everyone is in greasepaint, and a clown with a top hat performs the eternal bonds of unholy matrimony. When they get to the “forever hold your peace” part, everyone looks at Murphy. The clown officiant says they’ve shared beats and their two lives are coming together to celebrate in grand family tradition, before God, the devil, and men. He says they’ll be sharing in the blood rite, the ceremonial exchange of pinkies, and later, a sharing of the bride. The woman shoots the officiant, and Lily is like, whoa. The woman looks at Roberta, and says she’s beautiful. Her baby is getting married. King says, aw, mom. The woman holds her gun on Lily.

The woman asks what kind of son he is. She breastfed him until he was five, and this is how he treats her? King says they were just messing around. They were going to get her down. She tells him just because he’s playing king doesn’t mean he is. He whines that she’s never there for him, and she says he’s the center of her universe. Murphy tries to give them advice, and gets zapped. The woman says his daddy would have wanted him to respect his momma, and King suggests they ask him. A decrepit zombie is wheeled out. The woman complains that King was getting married without inviting either one of them. She tries to touch him, and he snaps at her.

King asks if he should be head of the he’s ready to become king clown and run the clan; a grunt for yes, and nothing for no. It’s a yes, and the woman asks if she should run the clan, and there’s silence. She goes nuts, and jumps on King’s back. He flips her onto a table. He says he knew she’d like Roberta, and she breaks a glass jar over his head. While they’re wrestling, Murphy escapes his shackles. King pins down his mother, and says he hates her. She says she never wanted him, and he asks if she can’t be a normal mom for once. Because they’re wearing metal, Murphy is able to shock them. He tells King to stop trying to kill his mom; it’s hard being a parent today. King says she tried to kill him, and Murphy says she cares about him, but she’s conflicted. He was selfish prick, and when his daughter was born, he wanted something for someone else. His little girl is gone, but they still have each other; don’t mess it up. King says it’s her fault. Murphy says to stop putting up walls, and listen to her. The woman says that’s the problem; he doesn’t listen. Murphy zaps them.

Murphy says she needs to see King for who he is; he’s not a little boy any more. At least she got to see him grow up. He never got to see Lucy grow up. He never saw her for who she was. And she’d needed him to see that. Her son needs her to see that. The woman says if he doesn’t get his clown ass of her back, she’ll beat him. Murphy shocks them good. Roberta whacks a wandering clown with a chair. King is able to get up, but his mom is down for the count. No, wait, she’s up as a zombie.

Chaos starts to happen, as clowns turn into zombies. Murphy says this is bad, even for them. Roberta says it’s time to GTFO.

King limps outside, and gets in the car full of zombies. Oh well.

The gang gets back to their truck. Roberta tells Murphy he was right. He says, about what, and she says about Lucy. What happened was her fault. She doesn’t know what they’re doing. These visions, or whatever she’s having, are leading them nowhere, and she still doesn’t know what it means. She can’t have anyone following her until she figures it out. They’re heading to Newmerica.

Next time, zombie nuns and a zombie bishop – Doc prays for a miracle.

Quotes of the Week

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. – George Eliot (Me too!)

Do the scary thing first, and get scared later. – Lemony Snicket

People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.Harper Lee

All that pleases is but for a moment. All that troubles is but for a moment. That only is important which is eternal. – carved above the arches at the entrance to the Milan Cathedral


Milan Cathedral

November 3, 2017 – Jason Fills in the Gaps, From Beignets to a Truck & Frankenzombies


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Ava sees Griff at the hospital. He asks if they have plans, but she’s there for a follow-up. She tells him everything is fine, and they were actually impressed. Too bad the doctors in Russia didn’t finish what they started. She says what you see is what you get, and Griff tells her what he sees is beautiful. It’s bad enough they constantly hand each other cups of fresh empty from Perks, but now I’m expected not to notice Ava is anything but gorgeous.

At the MetroCourt, Diane tells Sonny that Real Jason is being held as John Doe. Sonny appreciates the irony. Diane hasn’t seen his face yet, but understands that he and Carly want to believe he’s Jason. As his attorney, she has to raise the idea they might be being played.

Alexis visits Sam. Other Jason says she’s fine, but let her sleep. Alexis asks who rescued Sam, and Sam, now awake, says the man said he’s Jason.

Real Jason is at the station. Curtis sees him, and says the rumors are true. Jordan apologizes; they had lunch plans and she forgot to cancel. Curtis says he’s only seen a few pictures, but dude is a dead ringer for Jason. Jordan says all parties involved are as much in the dark as they are. Scotty blows in, and asks to be pointed in the direction of the poor soul who needs his expertise. Jordan says he’s waiting for Diane. He sees Real Jason, and says, omg.

Elizabeth tells Franco it makes sense now. He knew there was more to the story, and knew Betsy was lying. He says there was a twin, and he knows what happened to him.

Ava tells Griff to stop saying that; she might start to believe him. Not everyone can see past her scars. She’s starting to meet with new clients, and aesthetics come into play, especially in the art world. I dunno. A scar might be an asset. The art world is pretty weird. Griff thinks they should celebrate her first show. Going after a client is a huge deal, and he won’t take no for an answer.

Sam asks where Danny is, and Other Jason tells her he’s at the Quartermaines. Alexis says they can talk childcare later; how is she feeling? Sam says she’s in one piece. Alexis wonders what happened to taking it easy. Other Jason says there’s a man in town with his old face. Alexis says she heard he rescued Sam, and they owe him a debt of gratitude. Other Jason says he’s an impostor, and he’s at the station now.

Jordan tells Scotty that dude is calling himself Jason Morgan. Scotty suddenly has to go. Jordan tells Curtis that she has to postpone tonight, but he understands. He has a lot going on too. He says they’ll talk later. When he leaves, Real Jason comes out.

Elizabeth tells Franco it’s not their secret to keep. Franco says there are no answers yet. He takes a paper out of his pocket and hands it to her, saying Jason’s twin is dead. Quit confusing me.

Sonny tells Diane that when she sees him, she’ll know the truth. She says Sam’s husband had that face too, and has a DNA test to back it up. Sonny says he’s not Jason; Jason is the guy at the station. Diane tells Sonny that according to Carly, he’s not keen on being released. For some reason, he wants to stay in lock-up.

A guard puts Real Jason in a cell, noting he has experience. When the guard is gone, Real Jason sees Klein, and says they finally have a chance to talk.

Franco shows Elizabeth the fake death certificate. She notices the name is Moore. Franco tells her that’s why he couldn’t find it, but he followed a hunch and a friend helped. Whoever the stranger is, he can’t be Jason’s twin. Elizabeth asks how he can be sure; documents can be faked.  He says that’s not Betsy’s style. Elizabeth thinks they should give Jason as much info as they can to help him figure out what’s going on.

Alexis asks why Real Jason is in jail. Other Jason explains that when he saw Franco, he beat the crap out of him; clearly, he’s done his research and sticking to the act. Other Jason leaves to talk to Epiphany about Sam’s release. Alexis asks what Sam thinks.

Real Jason tells Klein that he’s lucky Sam survived or he’d kill him. Klein says she was only a diversion, a way to lure him to the docks; he had no intent to harm her. Real Jason points out that he threw her in the water, but Klein assumed he’d save her. One thing he’s learned about Real Jason is that he’s extremely capable. Real Jason asks how long he was at the clinic, and Klein tells him long enough to dismantle the operation. Real Jason asks who was paying Klein to keep him there?

Diane wonders why Real Jason would choose lock-up, but Sonny says she’d have to ask him. She says the attack on Franco was brutal and unprovoked. Sonny doesn’t think that sounds like Jason, but Diane says he’d have every reason to want Franco dead. Sonny suggests Franco will finally pay, but she tells him one step at a time. Sonny tells Diane to call him when she admits he’s Jason.

Griff and Ava come into the restaurant. Griff has to return call, and Ava goes to the bar. She got a new hair color with her new face, and she’s a strawberry blonde now. Sonny approaches her. She asks what he wants, and he says answers about Jason.

Sonny says she met him in the Russian clinic, and Ava says he was referred to as Patient 6. Sonny wants to know who was holding him, but Ava tells him that she only dealt with the doctors and staff. Griff asks what going on, and she says they were chatting about the clinic. She tells Sonny that she heard Klein on the phone, warning someone that Patient 6 was getting better. She has no idea who he was talking to though. Sonny asks if she’s sure, or is she lying to cover her part in it?

Klein tells Real Jason that the client wanted to remain anonymous. The only contact was by phone or email. They wanted Real Jason sedated, healthy and secure, and no questions asked. Jordan comes in with Diane. She sees Real Jason, and says my, my. He tells her, hello, Diane, and she guesses they have a lot to catch up on.

Curtis sees Other Jason. Other Jason assumes he heard what happened at the launch party. Curtis heard enough, and thinks Real Jason must be a con man, an enemy getting in his head. Other Jason says it’s definitely working. He’s got the people closest to him believing. Not Sam, but Sonny and Carly. He says it’s hard to explain. He doesn’t know what to think, but needs to figure out who he is. Curtis tells him to stay and keep an eye on Sam. He’s not sure Other Jason can be objective anyway. Other Jason says that’s why he called Curtis. He says the guy has no record on file at all. Curtis isn’t sure where to start, and Other Jason tells him to start with Franco.

Franco tells Elizabeth the information won’t help; it will just throw him off the scent. Elizabeth tells him that she’s kept things to herself over the years, and it was a huge mistake. Franco says it won’t be forever. When it’s sorted out, then they talk to people. They don’t want to give the mystery guy any more ammunition to disrupt Jason’s life more than he already has. Scotty interrupts, and practically strong arms Franco away

Alexis asks what Sam remembers. Sam tells her that she was at the MetroCourt, when a guy stuck a needle in her arm. Everything got hazy, and there was a crash from the ceiling and guy. She doesn’t remember what happened after that, then she was thrown into water. It was cold, and she thinks she got stuck. The next thing she remembers is being on the docks, coughing up water. She could feel his hands on her, and hear his voice. She looked up and saw him. She asks if she’s going to be okay. Alexis says, so he maintains he’s Jason, but what does Sam think? She thinks he believes he’s telling the truth. Alexis says obviously she can’t talk to her husband, but can talk to her. What if it’s true, and he is Jason? Where does that leave Sam and her husband?

Monica is glad Elizabeth’s injuries aren’t more serious, and Elizabeth says Franco is more shook than her. She tells Monica the man who crashed through the ceiling was at the hospital with Carly. He attacked Franco; he said nothing, just tried to strangle him. Monica asks what happened, and Elizabeth says he was arrested and is in police custody.

Scotty tells Franco that he saw him; he’s a dead ringer for Jason, i.e. a twin. He thinks Franco should talk to Betsy, and he says he already did. Andrew is alive, but he can’t tell anyone, especially Elizabeth. Scotty asks why, and Franco says he tried to kill Andrew.

Other Jason says he didn’t think much about it at the time, but Franco had a picture from when he was a kid. There was another boy in the picture, and Jake insisted it looked like him. When he asked Franco about it, Franco said he got rid of it. He knows better than to take Franco at his work, but it’s a starting point. He tells Curtis thanks. He’s not just reaching out to him as a PI, but trusts him. Curtis says damn right. He doesn’t rummage in a dumpster with rats as big as his foot without bonding a little. He’s sorry people are doubting Other Jason, and wants him to know he has his back.

It’s time for Klein’s arraignment. Diane asks for time alone with her client. She tells him seeing is believing is a grotesque understatement, and it’s good to see him again. He’s surprised she doesn’t think he’s a fraud, and she says she’s a litigator. She’s paid to find holes in stories, and the yarn about the other guy is chock full of them. She always had doubts. Real Jason wonders why Carly and Sonny went along with it. Diane says as fond as she is of him, they love him, and they needed him to be alive. There were gaps in his story no one could fill. Real Jason asks if his story doesn’t have gaps, but she says his story logically fills the gaps in Other Jason’s. She has no doubt he’s the one and only Jason Morgan. He says that’s good to hear. She wants to get him out of there, but he says he’s not going anywhere until he’s done with Klein.

Sam tells Alexis that she loves her husband, and he loves her. He’s Scout’s father, and the only father Danny knows. They spent the last year falling in love and built a life together. Alexis says, a life away from Sonny. Sam agrees that’s not like Jason, but does it matter? Other Jason comes back, and Alexis has to leave to meet a doctor about a case. She tells them good luck.

Franco tells Scotty that apparently when he was a kid, he pushed Andrew down a flight of stairs, and almost killed him. Betsy sent him away for his own protection. Scotty scoffs at any truth from Betsy, but Franco says he found another proof; a guy who has knowledge of the situation. Scotty says so there are two Jason Morgans – one with his original face and a bad attitude, and a bouncier Jason with a different face. He asks if they guy told him which was which.

Franco explains about memory mapping, but doesn’t know what to do with the information. He says there are two Jasons who want him dead. Scotty tells him to quit pretending it’s about him. It’s about Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tells Monica that Real Jason beating Franco was brutal and terrifying, but just what Jason would do if didn’t know about the brain tumor. Monica asks if she’s suggesting this guy is her son. She doesn’t accept it. She and Other Jason took a long time to get back to where they are, and she knows in her heart he’s her son. She’s sure somebody will find way to put this all to rest.

Other Jason carries Sam into the apartment. He tells her it’s romantic, efficient, and he likes being next to her. She says they’re the worst CEO people ever. He says she’s okay, and that’s all he cares about; everything else is second. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he lost her. They hug.

Diane understands Real Jason’s desire to question Klein, but suggests they get him out of there. She thinks he should plead temporary insanity. Considering Franco’s history with him, it’s plausible, but he’s legally in the wrong unless he’s not accountable. Real Jason says he’s not doing it; they have to find another way. He asks her to get a message to Sonny.

Griff tells Sonny that Ava was fighting for her life when he found her. Sonny asks if he expects her to believe Ava, but expects him to believe him. Ava would have been killed if he hadn’t intervened. He lets Sonny know that he’s no longer a priest, in case he wants counsel. Sonny can’t believe he’s leaving the priesthood for Ava. He’d thought Griff was on a mission to save his soul, but maybe Sonny should be praying for him.

Franco tells Scotty that Elizabeth will learn he was a monster even back then. Everything he’s done isn’t because of a tumor, but it’s in his DNA. Scotty is like, so he did something bad as a kid. Just tell them which one is which, and leave out the rest. If Franco doesn’t do it, he will. He helped Susan raise Jason. Franco says he can’t lose the woman he loves; Scotty has to keep quiet. Scotty agrees, but says if Franco thinks it will end well for him, he’s sadly mistaken. They leave the office. Franco continues down the hall, but Scotty’s phone rings. He tells Clem to tell the warden to leave a message, then says, what?

Scotty sees Alexis and tells her that he needs to discuss Julian with her.

Griff hopes Ava isn’t letting Sonny get to her. She’s worried he has point about her corrupting Griff.  Griff says she’s not corrupting him. She woke him up, and helped him face the reality of the life he wants to live and who he wants to be with. She says this is a lot of pressure for a second date; let’s just enjoy the evening. They drink their martinis.

Diane tells Sonny that Real Jason rejected her strategy. It’s unlike him, but she did suggest temporary insanity. Sonny says he would have beat up Franco too, and Diane says just think of all the hours she could have billed for the both of them. She tells him that Dr. Klein is being arraigned, and Real Jason told her that if he wants answers, start with Klein.

Jordan calls Curtis, who tells her the case he’s working on got heavier than expected. He asks for a raincheck. She understands, and hopes he’s not getting into trouble. He’s like, who, me? never, as he’s breaking into Franco’s office at the hospital.

Other Jason asks Sam how she’s holding up, and she says good. He says with everything going on with the other guy, and Sonny and Carly, he’s been focused on making sure people know who he is. He hadn’t thought about how hard it is on her. Sam says it’s definitely not how she thought the launch party would end up. Other Jason says he’ll figure it out. He’ll find out what this fraud wants. He realized this stranger is right about one thing – he’s part of a set-up, but Other Jason knows he’s her husband.

Curtis looks at a sketch of old Jason. He opens a locked cabinet, and looks through it. He finds the envelope with the death certificate.

At the desk, Franco asks Monica where Elizabeth is. She says she left, and Monica assumed she went to look for him.

The guard tells “mystery man” that he has another visitor. It’s Elizabeth. They stare at each other.

On Monday, Scotty tells Alexis that Julian was beaten up, Cassandra decides to stay in Port Charles, and Real Jason tells Elizabeth that he’s Jason.

Once Upon a Time

Last week, the bulk of the story followed Belle and Rumpel/Gold/Beast’s story from start to finish. On her deathbed, Belle told Rumpel that once he rids himself of the dagger, he’ll find her again. He buried her in the front yard, which I found a little disconcerting. This was interspersed with Ivy losing Lucy when she took her trick-or-treating. All was well at the end, when Lucy ended up with Jacinda (who I’ve stupidly been calling Lucinda, so I’m apparently going deaf or they don’t pronounce it very well), and Henry ended up having a drink with Ivy at Roni’s. It was definitely worth watching, especially for the fairytale cottage Belle and Rumpel ended up living in, but not a whole lot was added to the plot.

Moving on…

Victoria brings a tray to her witch prisoner. She thought they might make amends. The witch says destroying Lucy’s belief must be more challenging than Victoria thought, and if Lucy doesn’t forfeit her belief, Victoria will never see Anastasia again. She sees belief as independent and solid, but it’s like a weed. It grows deep, and you have to uproot it. Victoria asks if the witch would like tea, but she snarls, saying she wants her own special brew. Victoria says she’ll get it – when Victoria gets what she wants.

Ivy is watching Lucy at the Belfry Towers reception area. Sabine comes by, and Victoria tells her that she’s decided to increase the rent. Lucy says it’s not fair, but Sabine says she can fight her own battles. If Victoria wants to push them out, they’ll push back.

Many years ago, Tiana’s mother welcomes a group to their home, telling them the auction begins shortly. Tiana says it’s humiliating, and Drizella agrees. Drizella complains that everything has been picked over already, but spies something she thinks is valuable. Tiana says it’s not for sale, and she doesn’t know how it got there. It’s a medal containing a firefly ruby; a reward for her father’s heroism. Drizella says too bad he’s not there to protect them now.

Tiana’s mother explains to her that taxes have been raised, and they need to sell everything or be homeless. She wishes Tiana could find a prince. Tiana thinks she knows where to start looking for a prince who will save them.

In Seattle, Rogers brings his box of evidence on the missing girl to Henry. It’s a cold case, but he’s been working it like a side hustle. Henry asks why it’s so important, and Roni says they all have things personal like that. Rogers takes the missing girl’s diary out of the box and wanders off with it. Roni wonders why Henry had a drink with Ivy. He thinks she might be willing to help them. Roni says she’s heard that story before, and it doesn’t end with him happy.

Sabine goes to the chicken place. She’s got great news for Jacinda – their rent is being raised. Jacinda wonders if Sabine is mispronouncing “terrible,” but Sabine thinks she has a way to turn the tables. When everyone finds out how amazing their beignets are, they’ll be rich. She dipped into the rent money for the baking supplies. Jacinda asks if she dipped in a pinch or a dash, and Sabine admits she took it all.

Rogers reads the diary, and looks at a drawing of a castle window. He walks into the station, and sees a fist fight between a cop and a perp. The cop knocks the perp out, and tells Rogers he found the guy at the Pleasure Island Cabaret. Rogers realizes the guy has a tattoo that looks like a drawing in the diary.

Sabine tells Jacinda that Louie won’t be back from his convention for a while, and they can base their pastry operation out of Mr. Cluck’s. He’ll never know. Jacinda loves that Sabine is a dreamer, but she thinks it’s too risky; she needs her job. Sabine tells her that she needs to take the risk for Lucy. They owe it to her. When you love someone, you fight for them. Jacinda agrees, and they hug.

Back in the day, Tiana walks through the shady side of town, and comes to a cottage. She tells one of the people that she’s looking for the traveling soothsayer. She’s recognized, and the townspeople gather around her with their hands out. Dr. Facilier appears, and says she’s there to see him, and the crowd disperses.

He welcomes her into a cottage decorated like a fortune telling den. He tells her a prince is in her cards, and soon to be in her arms. He’ll make her troubles evaporate. She asks how he knew, and he says it’s his job, and he has a few friends on the other side. He shakes out some runes. He reads them, saying it’s the story of a princess whose father passed away. The story turns darker, and their wealth dried up. The people suffered without a strong ruler; that’s why she’s come to him. The prince will save her and he’s going to give her the kingdom discount for desperate souls. He tells her the path is clear, and she’ll find the price she seeks this very night. Just follow the red crow.

Fast forwarding, Ivy brings some herbs to Victoria at the office. She complains, and Victoria tells her not to thinks she wouldn’t trade in her daughter for an actual assistant. She tells Ivy to shut up and earn her job title. When Victoria is gone, Ivy looks on the monitor and watches as she pushes a secret button in the elevator. The side of the cab opens, and Victoria steps into the secret room where she’s holding the witch. Ivy leaves a message for Henry, saying if he still wants dirt on her mother, she has a good idea where to start.

Henry tells Roni that he has a lead. Victoria has been spending time in a secret room on top of Belfry Towers. Roni wonders what’s worse – him believing Ivy or falling for her, when there’s a better, single mother staring him in the face. Henry appreciates her mama bear routine, but not hers, Roni says if she was there, she’d tell him to get back to writing, take Jacinda on a date, and tip her well for the advice. Henry leaves his phone on the bar. Roni sees a text come in – Belfry lobby now – and says she’s on her way, deleting it before she leaves.

Sabine and Jacinda bake up a storm for their pop-up shop. Lucy comes in. She says it’s amazing, but she has a small addition, showing them a firefly stamp. She says that Sabine told her since she couldn’t afford stars, she wished on fireflies. Sabine tells her to stamp all the bags with their official logo. Jacinda suggests doing a farmer’s market next, but Sabine thinks they should get a food truck. They’re finally headed in the right direction.

In the enchanted forest, Tiana says there’s no such thing as red crow. Yes, there is, but not that kind. She sees a tavern with a sign that says The Crimson Crow, and goes inside. A man approaches her, saying he guesses the auction fell short, and he’ll take her earrings – at a discount. A prince steps in, telling him to bow and show respect. She might not be a princess any more, but she’s still a lady. He threatens the man with his sword, and he backs off. He introduces himself as Prince Marius, but tells her to call him Robert. She’s grateful, and not deserving of a nobleman’s heroism. He hopes to be deserving of her company. He says getting rid of a tipsy rogue is simple, but seeing why their paths crossed is more difficult. He asks her to have dinner with him.

In the sort-of real world, Victoria eats one of the beignets, and she loves it. Until she realizes she loves it. She calls a guy named Ralph, telling him she has a job for him. She says there’s a place selling beignets, and she wants him to wreck it. Ha-ha! Wreck-It Ralph.

Rogers asks the perp about his tattoo, telling him it’s a drawing in a notebook from a missing person, Eloise Gardener. He asks the perp if the name sounds familiar, but he says he was serving a sentence elsewhere when she disappeared. He tells Rogers it’s a sign to ward off evil. Rogers tells him it’s more trouble than it’s worth to press charges, so he’s free to go. The perp tells Rogers it’s a powerful rune, and he’d hate to meet what she was facing.

At Mr. Cluck’s, the patrons keep coming. Sabine says their business is on fire. Jacinda smells something, and says she hopes that’s not literal. The run into the kitchen, and everything is burning. They try to put it out, but it’s already out of control. Sabine pulls the fire alarm.

In the world of Tiana’s castle, Robert loves the view. Tiana says her father spent his lifetime building the kingdom. Robert sees the firefly ruby, and says her father was quite the hero. She tells him that her father was a cook until he was the only one left. He threw down his ladle, and picked up a sword, and that’s how the war was won. He also won her mother’s heart. She says now they’re losing it all, but Robert says not if he can help it. He wants to see her again. He leaves, and Tiana sees the ruby is gone. She runs out, telling him to stop, and throws something at his head. He tells her he had no choice. Dr Facilier wanted him to steal it. He’s just a commoner, and Facilier is holding his true love captive; she’s a frog. Tiana says there must be another way. She tells him to go. She never wants to see him again.

Tiana’s mother approaches her on the balcony. Tiana says she was self-centered, and saw the world the same way. Her mother says they tried to protect her; there was no way she could have known how bad it had gotten. Tiana says all her life she was told stories of her father’s success, but once she took action, she realized they have everything they need. Her mother says the people need a legacy, but it isn’t the medal. It’s her; embrace it.

In Hyperion Heights, Lucy sees the firetrucks outside the restaurant. Sabine says it’s just a setback, and Jacinda tells her that she took a huge risk, and looks what happened. Sabine says she just wants what’s best for Jacinda and Lucy, but Jacinda says she doesn’t live in real world. There’s no room for crazy dreams. Lucy tells Jacinda that Sabine just tried to help, and Jacinda says she doesn’t need that kind of help. Sabine gives her the cashbox, and says there’s enough money for ten months’ rent (that’s a lot of beignets!). In that time, she can find a new job – and a new roommate. She walks away.

Roni tells Ivy to put away the war paint; Henry’s not coming. She’s stopping the game before it starts. She asks if Ivy is trying to piss off her mom or take one more thing away from Jacinda. Ivy asks why she’s interested, and Roni says she knows enough to know good kid, and won’t let him mess up his life. Ivy says she’s risked a lot, and if her mom finds out, she’ll be cleaning toilets for real. Roni says if she’s eager to destroy her mom, prove it. Ivy tells Roni to follow her, and brings her to the secret room. There’s a setting for tea, and Roni thinks it’s a strange place for it. She wonders if she’s wasted her time, and then says, maybe not. She opens a locker and sees a photo.

Sabine tells Lucy that she’s going to crash on her mom’s couch. They can’t make it; they keep trying and failing. Lucy says that’s what Victoria wants her to think, but she can’t give up on her dream. Sabine says sometimes bad guys win, and we have to grow up. Lucy says she’s not growing up; she’s running away. She’s supposed to be with them, like she always is. Sabine tells Lucy she’ll always have her, but there are some things in life even she can’t fight.

Reeling back the years, Tiana goes to Dr. Facilier. She’ll give him the firefly ruby in exchange for the kidnapped woman. He points to a frog in a cage, and says, her?  It’s quite a sacrifice for a lowly frog. The ruby is powerful. It transformed a cook into a prince, and caused a princess to make a sacrifice for a man she doesn’t know. He asks why the transformation, and she says she didn’t realize who she was. She says there’s no magic in it, and Facilier tells her it will set him free. He’s in a prison, trapped with one foot here and one in another place. Everything in the cottage starts to tremble. He says he’s keeping the ruby, but he’ll never let the frog go. Tiana says she’s not leaving without the frog, but Facilier stabs a voodoo doll, and she doubles over. He says it feels good to be back. She knocks over the table, and grabs the frog, holding Facilier at bay with a sword. He squeezes the ruby and disappears, poof! in a puff of black smoke.

In modern times, Jacinda apologizes to Sabine. Every time the miserable world gets her down, Sabine picks her up. She didn’t realize Sabine needs picking up once in a while, starting with this – Jacinda shows her a food truck. Sabine asks how she did it, and Jacinda says Rogers helped her out with the auction, and she used the rent money. She took a big risk, like Sabine taught her to, doing what friends do – help each other.

In not-Seattle, Tiana brings Robert his frog. She figured out she doesn’t need a hero if she can be one. He says she sounds like her father, and she’s on the right path. She tells him the king is holding a ball, and she’s going to use the opportunity to turn the tide. She hopes he and his lady will join her, after true love’s kiss. Robert says he kind of misled her. He puts the frog in her hand, thanks her, and kisses the frog. Then he becomes a frog. Tiana puts them together, and they hop into the pond and swim off. I saw it coming, but that didn’t make it any less precious. Cutest. Frog. Couple. Ever.

Back in Seattle, Jacinda goes to the station, and Rogers reminds her the truck is from an impound auction, and she should clean it well. He tells her heat distorted the film in the security cameras. He has a good idea of who caused it. They agree it was someone Victoria hired, since she wouldn’t want to get a smudge on her blazer. The tattooed perp is making a phone call across the street. He says they have a problem. Someone is looking for the girl.

Victoria sees a photo of the truck on Instagram. When Ivy asks if there’s anything she can do, Victoria belittles her.

Henry walks into the bar (not the start of a joke), and Roni has something to show him. She tells him that she answered a text to him from Ivy, and met her at Belfry Towers. She knows it was wrong, but she wanted to know if they could trust her. He asks if they can, and she says maybe. She tells him that she found this while she was there, and shows him the picture. It’s a picture of Regina and Henry. Roni says she’s never owned clothe like this, and has no idea who the kid is. Henry says it’s him.

Ivy goes to secret room. She calls out for the witch, who startles her by coming up behind her. She knocks over the tea set, and say, lurk much?  She suggests getting the witch a stylist, since she looks like Lucy in Sweeney Todd (my description). The witch asks if they trust her, and Ivy says as much as her mother does. She calls Victoria a fool, and says she’s doing a good job of convincing Victoria that she’s the one in charge. She might not see how clever Ivy is, but the witch does. She tells he witch to play the charade until the end. The witch says Ivy knows she will. Ivy tells her not to use that name anymore – she’s Drizella.

Next time, Henry explains the photo, discovering life is a lie, and the most feared villain.

Z Nation

Roberta floors it, hits a zombie, sees the black rainbow, and keeps moving.

Doc says knows it’s the apocalypse, but maybe she should slow down. She turns a sharp corner, and Doc says Murphy is going into cardiac arrest. Lucy tells her stop, but she goes faster. Lily keeps telling to stop, and she finally does, just before they hit a building. It looks like a military facility. They get out. Murphy says he’s fine, and then throws up black stuff.

They get him inside. 10K and Lily take out some zombies who are following. It’s number 8991 for 10K. They set Murphy on a table, and Doc says he’s a walking petri dish. Murphy thinks being cured six ways to hell and back should be good for something. Lucy takes his hands. Doc and 10K confer about taking precautions, thinking they should restrain him. He keels over, and Roberta takes a look at his bite. Lucy says she has to try and save him, and bites him. 10K says he has a pulse. Murphy sits up, but passes out again. Roberta tells Lucy to bite him again, and she does. Murphy says he’s not dead yet. Doc thinks it’s working.

Lily is trying to keep the door closed, and says there’s more of a crowd. 10K goes outside with her. Roberta starts to look around the building. She comes to a room with computers, with decomposed bodies sitting at the keyboards. That would be my luck. She says, square key, and takes a key ring.

Doc keeps slapping Murphy, saying, stay with me. Murphy tells him to quit it.

Roberta travels the hallways. Doc bandages Murphy’s bite. Murphy says he’s better thanks to his little girl. Lucy says her hands are all wrinkly. They look at her, and she’s changing. She’s getting older.

Murphy sits up, and throws up again. Lucy looks at herself. She says it’s okay; it’s happened before, and it’s her business. Murphy says the biting is killing her. She can’t do it again. Lucy says he’s not the boss of her. Murphy says he’s her father. Her life is more important. She asks why he won’t let someone save him for once, calling him The Savior of Mankind. He says not anymore. Lucy thinks Roberta is in trouble. She feels something strange.

10K and Lily come back. Lily says they were doing M&M, mayhem and mercy. Doc tells them he wants to see if Roberta needs back up. They notice Lucy has changed. Lucy stays with Murphy, while they go down the hallways. Lily notes there’s a smell worse than death. Roberta continues on through the building. She sees a door keypad that’s wrecked, and she opens the door with a fire extinguisher. Doc wants to join 10K and Lily. Murphy doesn’t sound good, but tells him to find her. Doc tells Lucy no biting.

Roberta gets the handle off the door, and enters. It’s a lab. She sees a hand in an aluminum pan. She opens another door, and it’s the landscape in her mind. A zombie appears behind her.

Lucy looks in the mirror. She tells Murphy she wants to hear about her mother, Serina. She’s heard Addie’s and Doc’s version, but doesn’t trust it. She wants to know the truth. Murphy says her mother was living with group of women for protection. It was four years ago, when things were still wild, and they thought they were going to die. There was no tomorrow, so they lived for today. Lucy wonders if they just hooked up, but Murphy says Serina was a good friend. They went through a lot together, and he did love her. Not at first, but they saw each other again, and Lucy was born. Serina was fiercely protective, and fought like honey badger to protect her. Lucy brought out her motherly instinct, and Serina would have been proud of her. Lucy says, but she died. Murphy says she died protecting her. Some things are worth dying for. Lucy wants him to explain what it means, there was pie, but he passes out.

Roberta walks through the landscape. She sees some kind of metal unit. She’s back in the lab. She puts in a code next to the unit, and slides a metal window up. There’s a tube inside, and she unscrews it from its base. She injects herself with something, and collapses.

10K and Lily continue to walk. They go through a big room where experiments are done. There’s steel shelving lined with body parts in jars, a row of animated hands, and zombies with parts missing on gurneys. 10K doesn’t know who’s responsible, but he doesn’t like them. Lily says, roger that. They hear something. Lily asks what that was, and 10K tells her to take her pick.

Roberta opens her eyes. She realizes what she’s done. She sees beakers and jars containing experiments, brains and an arm attached to electrodes. She sees a desk and there’s a jacket on the back of the chair. She’s sees an ID for Dr. Caligari.

Murphy is convulsing. Lucy bites him again, but he tells her to stop and save herself. He wants her to promise, but she won’t. He starts to cry. He says she’s the only one he’s loved besides him; she’s one of a kind. He convulses some more, and she doesn’t know what to do.

Doc walks through the experiment room, and says more scientific shenanigans. Give a guy a lab coat, and he’ll screw things up every time. He calls to 10K and Roberta. He sees the partial zombies and animated hands, and says he can’t unsee that. He looks at a jar of eyeballs, remarking you can’t have too many of those. He wonders what in zombie hell these people are up to, and why. He notices a tail, and asks why it always has to be crazy evil sh*t. Why can’t they find a bakery for once? Is it too much to ask? He hears something, and looks all around. He bangs into a shelf, knocking over dozens of animated fingers, and says anything but that. He hits at them with a hammer, but one manages to dig its way into his side (ouch!). 10K and Lily hear him yelling, and he says there’s a finger in him; get it out! It keeps moving around, and 10K says it’s too fast. They manage to isolate it, and 10K slices into Doc, and it pops out. Lily says, die, mother finger, and steps on it. That was definitely the oh sh*t moment of tonight, or at least this half hour.

10K says they were looking for Roberta, but heard him yelling, and came back. Doc says he heard something breathing. They look slowly around, and see something behind one of the shelves.

10K says it seems as afraid of them as they are of it. Doc says not to shoot; they might wake something worse up. 10K wonders if they can go around it. It steps out, and it’s a gigantic zombie with extra arms, like an Indian goddess on steroids. Doc says, frankenzombie. 10K punches it, and it lifts him up by the throat. Lily tries to stab it, but it gets her with another arm. There’s a face in its stomach. Doc hits it with a hammer, and it drops the other two, and grabs Doc. They should have guessed right away they would just irritate it with these feeble attempts.

Roberta goes through papers and files, and finds a gun. She looks through some journals, and sees pictures and drawings of the experiments. We see a photo of the doctor and a friend.

Lucy keeps Murphy warm. He asks if she’s seen their baby, thinking she’s Serina. Lucy calls him “daddy,” saying he’s making a mistake. He says he knows; he never should have left her alone when she was pregnant. His biggest mistake was breaking up their family. Lucy says it’s okay; don’t worry. He doesn’t think Lucy will forgive him for leaving her with strangers. She turned out okay, strong and brave like Serina. He asks where Lucy is, and Lucy says she’ll come back soon. He says she’s the best, and she tells him that he’s not so bad himself. He calls her his little baker, and starts to convulse again.  He laughs about blueberry pie, and throws up. Lucy yells for help.

Super zombie throws everyone around, and punches Doc. Lily shoots him, but he has an automatic weapon, and begins to shoot back. He never runs out of ammo, because his other arms hand him new clips. Doc says this is no regular Z, and he pounds on his chest like King Kong.

Lucy does chest compression, wondering how this works. She looks at Murphy’s bite, and cries. She says he can’t leave her again.

Mega-zombie has Lily by the throat. 10K hits it with stool, and he throws it back. Doc tries to hit it with a metal thing, but it knocks Doc out. I go, ooh! Lily begins to pass out, and we hear Roberta say, Charlie Baker, Roberta. The zombie turns around, and she holds a gun on him. She asks where Dr. Caligari is, and does he understand. The zombie nods. She hears someone say, I’m here. The zombie turns his back to her, and the doctor’s face is there. Well… I don’t even know what to say.

Murphy opens his eyes, and says he feels great. His bite wound is gone. He tells Lucy to wake up; he’s cured. She’s now an old woman. He asks what she’s done, and sees the bites she gave him. She says it’s all right; she can feel him again. He takes her hand. They smile at each other, tears in their eyes.

Dr. Caligari asks what they’re doing there. Roberta says they came to see him. He asks how she knows his name, and she says she was in his office and saw a picture of him and Charlie. She asks if he knows her, and he asks her to come closer. I hold my breath, but he says, no. (He’s wearing glasses, btw.) She asks if he’s certain she’s never been there. He asks how she got the canister; it was locked in his office. Roberta says she knew the combination, but doesn’t know what it is. He says if she knew what it did, she would be a dangerous woman, and Doc says she already is. Charlie snaps his teeth, and Doc says just sayin’.

Roberta asks what happened, and Dr. Caligari says his knowledge exceeded his wisdom. Isn’t that always the way? He was graphting zombie tissue to humans, hoping to pass on their superior genetic qualities – immortality. 10K says that’s insane, and the doctor says, in retrospect. Roberta asks how he and Charlie happened, and we see as he explains. He says they were both bitten by another assistant, and became infected. Charlie turned quickly, and it was too late to save him, but he was able to chop off his own hand before the infection spread. He mercied Charlie, and used his graphting discovery to attach Charlie’s hand to his arm. It became a part of his body, passing on the immunity. But something went wrong. Instead of the hand becoming part of his body, the zombie cells grew out of control. Charlie was growing from his hand, taking over his body as host. This was five years ago, and this is all that’s left of him.

Dr. Caligari asks why Roberta is there, and she says to find this. She says she has to go, an the doctor asks her to wait; he needs something from her. He whispers something to her that we don’t hear. She looks at him, and pats his hand. One of them anyway. He kneels down and holds out his arms. Roberta says, we give you mercy, and they all shoot.

Murphy cries, holding Lucy. She tells him not to cry; it’s all right. Aw. Can’t somebody do something? She says it’s almost over. He tells her not to say that, and she says she had a good life – her life. She’d promised Addie that they’d stick together. She wants Murphy to tell Addie that she tried. She closes her eyes. Murphy cries, and I tear up, which is more than I did for Glenn and Abe on The Walking Dead. Sorry.

The others come back. Roberta kneels down by Murphy. She cries, and kisses Lucy’s forehead. She touches Murphy’s face, and he turns away.

Murphy covers Lucy, and carries her out. The others follow. The door closes. A sad song plays, about saying goodbye too soon.

Next time, crazy ass clowns say let the games begin, and Doc doesn’t think they mean parcheesi.


October 29, 2017 – The Shahs Reunion Comes to An End, a Triple Attack & Silver Shamrock


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



Shahs of Sunset – Reunion Part Two

I’m still trying to get over the fact Destiney was on People’s Couch and I didn’t realize it.

Asa asks Reza if he believes her about not getting IVF treatments to have her son. He does, but hates himself for having doubts. She says she and MJ aren’t friends like that. Shervin says Asa doesn’t reciprocate, and that’s why MJ is hurt. Asa insists MJ never wanted good for her, and crossed the line. We flash back to MJ not wanting to hug her after finding out she’s pregnant. MJ says she was shocked and disappointed that it was six months before any of them were included. Asa tells MJ she’s lost all respect for her. Reza tells Asa that she doesn’t understand MJ and what she’s been going through. MJ tells Asa about crocheting a blanket for baby Soltan, and Asa says, the bastard child. They break for lunch.

Backstage, Mike is upset, and GG says it seems like Asa hates them. MJ brings up Asa’s comment on racism, and Mike jokingly asks if she’s talking about him. Asa overhears and isn’t happy. GG asks for the paramedics. She’s having a panic attack, and says she just smoked some weed. She tells the paramedic how cute he is.

Back to the reunion. Andy says it was a season of new beginnings for GG. Her anger levels turned down, but not completely off. A viewer asks about GG’s sobriety. She says she was never practicing sobriety, and shows us her vaporizer. We flash back to her fight with her sister Layla on Thanksgiving, and GG says she can’t anymore. Mike doesn’t think the relationship can be healed – there’s been too much damage. We find out he’s hooked up with Layla in the past. Andy is surprised that Reza and GG reconciled. Reza says hating her was taking up energy and space in his head and heart, and was a lot of work. He either had to let it go or let her go. GG doesn’t think it would have happened if his friends hasn’t pointed out to him that she’d changed. Reza tells us that they were just in Palm Springs together. Now the song Layla will be my earworm for a while. You’re welcome.

We revisit GG getting her hearing aid. She didn’t know how deaf she was, but notices now when the batteries need to be replaced. Andy says by the time he found her wedding registry, he heard the marriage was over. Reza is willing to guarantee that there are relatives on Shalom’s side who didn’t want to go to the wedding, and that’s why they just had a civil ceremony. GG says she kept asking if he was sure things were cool with Shalom’s family, and he insisted it was. Andy asks where things are at now, and she tells him that they’re trying to get to know each other, since they didn’t before. Wow – that’s some ring. Andy reminds her that she has a Shalom tattoo, and she claims she doesn’t regret it, but talks about a fight they had and how she slashed the tattoo to show him that she didn’t care. Mike says that’s some serious sh*t. She says information came out that he’d been married before, and applied for a green card. A lot of people thought that was his reason for wanting to marry her. His ex was also on the reality show Dash Dolls about the Kardashian boutique.

Andy says, guess what? We invited Shalom here! GG is mad, and everyone is surprised. Shalom comes out, and Andy asks how he would define their relationship. He says they’re working on it and trying to figure it out. Andy asks if him snapchatting his abs to her was the deciding factor. and brings up the green card issue. Shalom says there are plenty of women he could marry for that reason, and they’d accept a cheaper ring. Andy asks if he’s attracted to women on reality shows, but he says his ex was only on one for about two weeks. We flash back to Shalom being upset about GG kissing her scene partner in the play. Shalom says it was really bad, and he apologized to everyone. He comes from Persian/Jewish family, and 90% were against him getting married. After a few drinks and people talking in his ear, he realized he had a proposal happening in Times Square. Asa says it was weird. Andy asks why they broke up, and Shalom doesn’t know. GG says whether it was true or not, the gossip was hurting her, but he only sees it from his point of view. She tells him that he got overbearing, and when they got married, she got a call from E! News, saying Shalom wanted to do a story. Shalom says one day she loves him, and the next, she hates him. Shervin asks why try again, and he says he still loves her. He’s confused about her feelings though. Andy points out they don’t have a prenup. Reza says he’s a good guy. He likes GG, but likes Shalom more. Mike says together they might be like oil and water, even if they’re both good people. GG says at this point they’re going to see if something is worth saving. They’re taking it one day at a time. Andy says the good news is, she’ll always have the tattoo. خداحافظ, Shalom. (That’s goodbye in Persian.)

They talk moms. Reza says Mike’s mom is more thug than all the rest put together. Andy ask if Mike relies on her too much, and he says he doesn’t have to. Reza adds that she’s omnipresent in his life. Andy asks why there’s an obsession with Mike’s dool and where it goes. Mike corrects that to where they think it goes, and says it started in Mexico, and never stopped. We flash back to MJ catching a glimpse of “Russel the love muscle.” Mike thinks it’s funny, and Reza says it’s like that one shady relative you have who’s always up to no good.

Andy reads a raise your hand viewer question, and tells them raise their hands if they think Mike is as much of a man whore as ever, but only Reza thinks so. Next, Andy asks who thinks he’s slept with Jessica in the past year. That would be everyone. Mike says it’s complicated. It’s sad, and he felt it ended prematurely because of how he treated her, but now he’s the better version of Mike. Andy asks if he’s seen the email Jessica sent to his mom, but he says no, and has never brought it up. MJ wonders why. He says his mom stepped in when Jessica lost hers. They had a connection outside of him, and it was between them. He doesn’t feel it’s his business. Reza thinks Jessica feels that if it’s not cool with his mom, it’s not cool with Mike. Mike says been divorced for about a year, and they’ve both dated. The whole thing broke his heart, and he cries when he watches the show. Andy asks what’s the number one thing he learned. Mike says a lot, but the main thing is you have to be open and honest in a relationship, and be present and real.

Adam joins the group – his first reunion. He and Reza just celebrated a year of marriage, and Andy asks what Adam thinks of the new Reza. He says he has more closet space since Reza lost weight. Andy asks who he’s closest to out of the friends, and Adam says Asa has become a close friend. She’s the one person who reached out to him after Thailand. GG says Reza has changed a lot. In the beginning, he was rebellious, but he’s calmed down. Mike says his tone is different, and the way he talks about Adam. He wants to be a better person because of Adam. MJ says he fights hard daily to make himself better. A viewer asks if he’s been faithful, and Reza says 100%. He did the don’t ask don’t tell in another relationship, and it didn’t work, but there might come a time for that conversation down the road. Andy points out how upset Adam was about Reza using the divorce card; he felt disposable. Ada says it brought up Thailand for him again, and was hurtful. It’s one thing to think it, but another to say it to your partner. A viewer thinks it’s weird that Reza compares being faithful to alcoholism, using the one day at a time credo. Reza says it helps him as a person who had infidelity in his life.

They discuss what religion their child will be, and Adam says he’s converting to Judaism. Andy asks if having a baby pings Reza’s commitment issues. Reza prays they’ll be together for the long haul, since he comes from a broken home. Adam says he plans for future, but it’s always one day at a time (the phrase of the night). Mike commends it, and loves them both.

Reza says they’ve decided on surrogacy, and adoption can be an option later. They sold their house in Palm Springs, and just closed on a new one, which is a surprise to everybody. Mike says that explains why Reza has been MIA. Reza says once they move in, they can deal with baby stuff. Mike is upset that he didn’t tell them, but he wanted it to be a surprise. Reza says now Mike knows how he felt about Asa’s pregnancy. Asa mentions she didn’t even know Mike had a company until she saw him with the shoes.

Andy tells us Asa’s reluctance to share was a sore point this season, but has bubbled up in the past. He asks about MJ being offended, and MJ says she’s been open, and it hurt her feelings that Asa wasn’t. Reza says as friend he gets it, but as for being a cast member on a reality show, it’s effed up. From that aspect, it bothers him. From friend aspect, he loves Jermaine, who never has negative word to say. Asa says he has his own right not to sign a contract. She tells them that she’s been open about financial struggles, and was labeled the poor one, even though that wasn’t exactly the case. That’s why people are rooting for her success now. GG says it’s a contradiction, how she claims she doesn’t want to get involved, but wants to know everything that happens with the others. She asks why Asa is on the show. Asa says it’s says amazing platform, and GG says the rest of them are bleeding for the world to see, and Asa should tell her facts. Asa continues, saying she has political and social convictions, and wants as many people as possible to see that. Mike thinks its all surface stuff. He has issues with her; she brings only superficial things to the show. Everyone talks at once, so I can’t understand what anyone is saying. Andy tells Asa that’s what she brings to the show, but why is she on the show. Asa says wants her voice heard, just like anyone else. Mike asks why make him sound like racist, instead of using the opportunity to talk about her interracial relationship? He loves her, but doesn’t like the person she became this season. She insists she’s taken the side of other cast members who have been ganged up on, and calls Mike a follower. He says he stands on his own, and asks why she’s continuing if she doesn’t want to show her life? Andy says she’s at a crossroads. Jermaine doesn’t want to be on the show or have Soltan on it, so where does she go from here? Asa tells him that her brain is on her baby, and she doesn’t know. Andy asks if she still cares about her friends.

Asa talks about looking at old videos of their travels, and getting sad. It was a difficult season, and she thought they weren’t happy for her. She believes in the future, and believes there’s hope, but has thinking to do. MJ says every time she bared her soul to Asa, it was her way of being a sister and forming a lifelong friendship. She says it sucks. Asa remembers beautiful moments, but MJ’s back stabbing and being two-faced deteriorated the friendship. If there’s no loyalty or respect, there’s nothing to build on. Mike is sad for the group thinks it will change after today.

Andy asks where they go from here, and Reza says if he and GG can get from where they were to where they are now, anything can happen. At the end of the day, they’re family, and should cherish their relationships. Andy says maybe Shervin’s girlfriend will be at the next reunion. Reza wants Shervin’s publicist’s number, since he did so well with his monologues. Andy hopes Reza and Adam will be pregnant by then; MJ as well. He wonders if GG and Shalom will still be together, and she says she’s a serial monogamist.

Asa says that some of the relationships are frayed, but her most important relationship is at home. She feels changed, being responsible for her son, who won’t eat unless she feeds him. Andy attempts to says something about them all being good friends in Persian. Reza toasts to all of them. Asa can’t leave fast enough.

Backstage, MJ says it was the dumbest day of her life. Reza asks if she thinks she and Asa will reconcile, but that’s a no. Asa tells Mike that she really doesn’t think he’s a racist, and changing her tune, GG thanks Shalom for coming.

🚑 Married to Medicine will be returning next Sunday at 10 pm.

The Walking Dead

We see close-ups of the main characters from Alexandria, Hilltop, and the Kingdom.

At an outpost, the Saviors work at getting their weapons in shape. Mara tries to call Little Roy on the radio, but there’s no answer. She finally reaches Todd, and tells him to lock the stairwell on every floor. A group led by Aaron zooms up in the reinforced trucks, and shoots everything up.

Another group, led by Jesus, sees a moat of zombies outside another outpost. Morgan says they just need the right timing. If the Saviors fire first, the rest will be alerted. He tells Diane not to give them time to fire a gun. One of the others asks Morgan if he needs to be covered, but he says he doesn’t die. Okay…

Carol and Ezekiel recover from the grenade that was lobbed at them last week. Zombies are pouring out of the clinic, and the group shoots, stabs, and axes them. Carol asks where the guy with the grenade went. If he tells the Saviors they’re here, it’s over before it started. Ezekiel is confident that’s not going to happen, and they’ll find him. Their comrades are back to the staging area, and will release Shiva if necessary. He claims certain victory, and Carol looks impressed.

Aaron and his group continue shooting the place up. Aaron is really into it. Rick and Daryl get inside with a small group.

Morgan teases the zombie barricade. Two guards walk toward them to see what’s going on. Diane shoots them in the head with arrows.

Jesus, Tara, and some others go in with Morgan. Diane whistles, and the rest come in silently. Tom says kill the bitches is written on the wall. Wtf? They spread out. Morgan hears someone talking. He waits outside the door, telling the other guys with him to hold up.

Rick looks at the map. Daryl says upstairs. He kicks open a door.

Mara says the Alexandrians are too chicken sh*t to move in, and tells the Saviors to push them back. There’s lot of machine gunning, and Aaron says don’t let them through. He tells his group to move in.

Morgan and two other guys bust into a room, shooting the first guy they see. Several men pop out from behind him, and shoot them. I go, what?! because I wonder why Morgan wasn’t faster on the draw.

Daryl and Rick climb on top of an elevator cab and go to another floor. Rick says they’d be faster if they split up.

Tara and Jesus find a man alone in a room. He begs them not to shoot him. He starts sniffling, saying his name is Dean, and Tara points out he peed his pants. Tara wants to shoot, but Jesus tells her to wait; the man has his hands up. She says they have a job to do. They hear shooting, and Jesus tells her to check it out while he covers Dean.

Diane tells Tara to be ready. They don’t know if Morgan is alive. Dean tells Jesus that he’s just a worker, brought from the Sanctuary to cook and clean; he had to leave his wife and kids. Jesus tells Tara that they don’t want to hurt the workers. He’s not shooting someone with their hands up or letting her. She sees Maggie’s prenatal vitamins, and says they stole medical supplies from Hilltop just because they could. Dean takes this opportunity to grab Jesus’s gun from him, and get him in a hold. Dean tells them it’s hard to piss yourself on purpose. He crushes the vitamins, and says they’re ruined, like that dumb bitch Maggie. She’s just going to die anyway, like they are, but for now, he’s taking them with him for an insurance policy. Dean keeps talking, and apparently never saw The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, where Tuco says, “If you have to shoot, shoot, don’t talk.. While he’s babbling, Jesus gets his gun back, and ties him up. Tara still wants to kill him, saying it’s not about revenge, it’s about getting the job done, but he won’t let her, insisting Maggie will listen to him.

Diane asks Jesus if there’s another way out, and he says to follow him. It looks like Morgan is dead. Nope, not quite. The armor pieces he’s wearing saved him. He sits up, grabs his gun, and runs to catch up.

Gunfire is still happening outside. Mara realizes it’s not good for them, and one of the dead Saviors attacks her, biting out a piece of her throat.

Ezekiel’s group is in the woods looking for grenade guy. Carol says if he made it back, the Saviors know they’re coming. Ezekiel says they’ll be ready regardless. Carol asks him if he knows that it’s not just a few walkers. He says he does, yet still smiles. She asks why, and he says he has supreme confidence. His job is to project certainty. In other words, fake it till you make it. It’s what he’s done and does; he leads people forward in darkness. Carol says they might not make it or win, but Ezekiel has no fantasy of failure this day. They move forward as they move the very world forward.

Daryl sneaks around with his crossbow. I wonder how hard It must be to be sneaky with a crossbow. Props to him. He looks into a room, and sees the remains of food and handcuffs attached to a pipe. He slides back out. Rick goes down another way, and looks in a bedroom that’s empty. Suddenly a dude comes out of nowhere, and punches him out. Rick tries shooting him, but dude is too fast. Rick kicks him in the face, and he slams Rick against a wall. Rick gets him in a chokehold, and asks where they are. Dude says there are no guns. He struggles free, and Rick piggybacks him, continuing to choke him. He sees a hook on he sees a hook on the wall and impales the guy on it. Like Billy did with that guard in Midnight Express, except it’s through his eyeball.

Morgan goes through the building, shooting anything moving.

Jesus and his group circle around the back. He tells them not to shoot right away, but Diane says if they shoot first, someone dies. A Savior opens a big garage door. Jesus tells him to drop his gun and surrender. He does since there’s fifty of them to his one, but his back up comes out, and he tells them to put their guns down; they’re surrounded. Tara tells Jesus that even if Maggie listens to him, Rick will listen to her. All the Saviors lower their weapons.

Morgan keeps shooting people. I assume it’s people; we don’t actually see what he’s shooting. He looks supremely pissed. He comes out into the sunlight, and walks toward the others. In his head, he hears Rick saying, we have to come for them, before they come for us. Where there’s life, there’s possibility.  Morgan walks up to a Savior who says he knows him, and asks if he was transferred too. It’s the dude who took Morgan’s staff, and killed Benjamin. Morgan is about to shoot him, and Jesus tells him to lower the gun. Morgan says they came here to kill them; they’re supposed to. Jesus says they surrendered; it’s not what we do, and Morgan asks, what do we do? And in my head, I think, do-be-do-be-do.

Rick goes back out into another room. It’s a nursery, complete with a baby sleeping in a crib. Rick shakes his head, and I wonder if the guy he killed is her father. Rick gets all weepy like he does on occasion, and I say, there’s no time for that now, Rick. He sees himself in the mirror, and walks away.

Carol sees blood on a leaf, and they follow the trail. Is there a hairdresser in the group? Carol’s hair looks fabulous. Ezekiel says, there! and starts to run. He stops and lowers his gun. He says their friends have arrived. We see Shiva take a man down up ahead.

Aaron’s group isn’t done yet. There’s still tons of shooting going on. How many freaking people do they have? Aaron’s husband, Eric, gets shot. Aaron ducks down and runs to a car. He gets in and floors it to Eric. He asks if Eric is okay, and Eric shows him the gunshot wound. Aaron helps him out of there. Hard to tell if he’ll make it.

Ezekiel says there it is, our certain victory. He’s not glad for anyone’s death, and Carol says she knows. Knight dude, whose name I don’t remember, holds out the radio. The Saviors know they’re coming. Knight dude says the jig is up. Ezekiel says no; their journey won’t end in retreat. Knight dude says, but they know we’re coming, and Ezekiel says, indeed they do. He raises his sword and laughs. Carol smiles. Yeah, he’s cooler than cool. He’s one of my reasons for sticking with the show. Him, and Negan. And peer pressure.

Rick looks in another room. He looks at a photo, and says, dammit!  A man walks in with a gun, and tells Rick to keep his hands down, and turn around slow. The man says, hi, Rick, and Rick says, Morales. Rick says he was in Atlanta. Morales says it was a long time ago. It’s over. He called the Saviors back, and they’re coming.

We see close-ups of everyone’s faces again, like in the beginning. Everyone looks tired, but Ezekiel is still smiling. Carol is too, as much as Carol smiles.

Morales cocks his gun.

Next time, Ezekiel says their first victory will deliver the second, and the second will deliver the third. They will not lose one of their ranks. That is one optimistic guy.

🎃 No Halloween is Complete Without It…


October 28, 2017 – Z Nation Packed in a Crate of Weird


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Z Nation

Our beloved crew sees a truck in the middle of the road. Roberta says to move in easy; she’ll check it out with Lily. When she opens the cab door, its empty. Doc thinks it’s odd that an awesome truck was left out in the middle of nowhere, and Murphy says everything in the past eight years has been odd. Roberta asks Lucy if she picks up anything where the cargo would be, but there are no signs of life. She says if anyone is in there, they’re not zombies. The truck suddenly starts. Roberta wants to jet, but Murphy says it could be full of snacks. The truck slowly follows them, and stops when they stop, like something out of a Stephen King book.

Roberta tells Lily if anything happens, shoot the tires. She opens the cab again, and there’s a horrific screeching sound. Everyone covers their ears, and then passes out.

Roberta wakes up in a wooden crate. She bangs on the wall and yells, asking if anyone is there. An alarm sounds, the crate opens, and she emerges along with another woman and a man. The woman attacks the man, yelling for Roberta to get the key that’s on the floor. She plunges the crowbar through the guy’s head. When Roberta asks why she killed him, she says they just have one crowbar. Roberta asks what this place is, and the woman says, fresh meat, just her luck. She’s lost track of time, but thinks she’s been there about a month. Roberta tells her about the sound, and the woman tells her you can’t fight it; just do what they want. She tells Roberta to kill anything that moves, and stay out of her way.

They go down a hallway to an elevator, and the woman says they want them to clear it. She tells Roberta to use the key. When she does, we hear the elevator working, but the doors don’t open. The woman uses the crowbar to pry them apart, and a load of zombies tumble out and attack her. Roberta gets in the elevator, pushing the close door button, but forgets to bring the key. She opens the doors again, and kills the zombies. The woman is now one of them, but I guess she must have a thick skull, because the crowbar isn’t good enough. Roberta makes the elevator doors squash her head a few times, which does the trick.

Roberta hears the noise again. She wakes up in a crate, and hears Doc. He asks if she’s okay. She says she’s trapped in a crate, and he tells her that he is too. He thinks they’ve been kidnapped and enslaved for evil purposes – again. He hates when that happens. She asks if he’s seen anyone else, and he tells her only the two ugly guys he woke up with. They were killed on a suicide mission to clear a stairwell of zombies. When he killed the last one, he heard the noise again. Doc tells her they’re moving him again, and he bounces around for a while.

He comes out of the crate, and 10K comes out of another one. They see a huge wrench, a roll of duct tape, and a gas mask on the floor. Doc takes the wrench, and 10K takes the tape and mask. They move forward in the semi-darkness, and come to a room with a lot of pipes that have some kind of green gas leaking from them. They take turns using the mask. 10K uses the wrench on one of the pipes, and a zombie rushes out. He kills it, and Doc uses the tape on another pipe, while 10K dispatches another zombie.

Murphy hears Roberta, and asks her to let him out of the crate he’s in, but she says she’s trapped in a crate too. We see a room with several crates, and Murphy asks who else is there. Lucy and Lily say they are, and a man’s voice tells them to shut up; he’s trying to sleep. He says they need to be quiet, or it will get them killed. Lucy tells them there are a lot of zombies; she feels it. Roberta says it’s not the zombies she’s worried about.

Doc continues to work on the pipes, while 10K continues to kill the zombies who keep interrupting. Doc gets a face full of the gas, and keels over.

Lucy says even the zombies are afraid. Lily asks if she can determine why, but Lucy says there are too many voices and so many reasons. Lily asks if Murphy is picking up anything, but that’s a no. His zombie whispering days are over. He pulls off a piece of his scarred flesh and eats it. Ew.

10K fights off a zombie, and tells Doc to hang on. He puts the mask on Doc, and performs chest compression on him.

Lucy asks Roberta what’s wrong. Roberta says she can’t do this; she doesn’t feel so good. Murphy says she doesn’t sound so good. He tells her, no pressure, but if she goes wobbly, they all die. There’s no freaking allowed in the apocalypse. Lily has experience with PTSD, and tells Roberta she’s having a panic attack. She talks Roberta through it, and explains that she spent nine days in the trunk of a car hiding from her zombie family.

10K keeps working on Doc, and finally revives him. He says he thinks they won. The noise begins again, and everyone passes out. The crates are rearranged, and Doc and 10K are now in a crate together. Murphy asks Doc what happened, and he says they were fixing the leaks in hell’s plumbing. Doc keeps coughing, and 10K explains that he inhaled nerve gas. Roberta says they need to get out or they’ll be killed one by one. Doc asks who’s running this show, and Murphy says it has to be a Zona operation. No one else is so needlessly diabolical. Doc farts, and tells 10K, sorry. Lucy tells him to be quiet; she’s making a friend, a zombie named Carson O’Keefe. She tells him that she wants to get out, and asks if he can open the door.

The door opens, and Lucy talks to Carson. She sees a lot of crates, but no way out. The noise starts. Roberta tells them to fight it, but it’s impossible. They all pass out.

Lily is being dragged into another area. She wakes up, and a guy tells her that she’s safe. A zombie rushes him, and he kills it. He says they’ll live longer if they work as a team. She tells him if they do whatever is wanted, they can get out alive, but he thinks there’s a chance they won’t make it. He shows her that he has a gun, and says he’s looking for some human kindness. She gets the gun from him, and says she’ll blow his head off if he tries it again. He laughs, saying there are no bullets; he ran out of ammo. He comes at her, but she beats the crap out of him, and throws him into the next zombie that comes along. She’s able to get out through another door, and closes it before the zombie can get to her.

She goes up some stairs, and runs through a hallway to another stairwell. She goes into another room, but a zombie tries to follow her. She stumbles, hits her head on a bannister, and gets knocked out.

Murphy and Doc are out of the crates. Murphy says this would be more efficient if they were just told what’s wanted. Doc says the whole point is fear of the unknown. They’re trying to control them with psychological terror and creepy sounds. As they’re walking, zombies keep popping out. Murphy says if they get out of this alive – and that’s a big if – they need to have zombie come to Jesus moment with Roberta. First she gets them lost, and now they’re slaves in the zombie funhouse of death. Doc suggests they get out of there first.

10K and a woman crawl along a ladder near the ceiling that periodically descends closer to a crowd of zombies below. The woman falls, and the noise happens. 10K passes out, but luckily stays put.

Roberta exits her crate, along with a man we don’t know. A crowbar, a screwdriver, and thick electrical cord drop off a conveyor belt. The man says, shall we? and takes the crowbar, while Roberta takes the cord and screwdriver. They enter a room with a gate on the opposite wall, and several zombies that aren’t exactly all in one piece. While the stranger is dealing with a half-zombie, Roberta comes up behind him, and gets him in a chokehold, telling him to drop the crowbar. He does, and she asks how Zona is involved and if this is part of the reset. He claims ignorance, and she tells him to answer or she’ll put the screwdriver through his head. She asks again if this is part of the reset, and if it has to do with the black rainbow. He asks if she’s insane, and says Zona has nothing to do with this. This is bigger than Zona or the apocalypse. I wonder what can be bigger than an apocalypse. He says no one lives long enough to find out exactly what’s going on, but they’re after something in the complex and using them to clear the zombies. He tells her they’ll be zombies too, if they don’t get the gate open.

Roberta presses a button, but the gate is jammed. As the stranger is messing with it, Roberta says there’s a live one, and a half-zombie attacks him. I say, ooh! out loud, because it’s so creepy, wriggling fast across the floor with its spinal cord hanging out. The stranger falls, and the half-zombie jumps on him. Roberta electrocutes it using the cord, and it’s a thrilling moment.

Lily wakes up, and the zombie that was following her is dead. She hears a noise from the top of the stairs. She begins to walk up, and sees daylight. She asks where it came from, and walks toward the source, but the noise happens.

Everyone wakes up in a cage that’s surrounded by zombies, except for Lily, who is still unconscious. Murphy asks what fresh hell this is, and the stranger says it’s feeding time. A giant metal tube unleashes a load of what looks like kibble. The stranger starts eating. I was joking, but Doc eats a piece and says it’s dog food. Chicken with notes of corn; Puppy Chow. 10K loves dog food, and says Puppy Chow is his thing. He and Doc talk about a bag of Gravy Train they found once. Doc says he can taste it now. With water and warmed by the sun, it’s the next best thing to home cooking.

Roberta wonders why the zombies are so blasé, and the stranger says they’re kept well-fed, but step outside, and they’ll attack. She asks what they’re fed, and the stranger says not dog food. Lily comes to, and Doc gives her some kibble. She tells them that she found a bird, and Roberta says if a bird can get in, there’s a way out. Murphy asks to see the bird, and turns his back after Lily gives it to him. Doc asks if he ate it, and he says no, but coughs out a couple of feathers. Roberta says if Lily saw daylight, they have a chance. She asks if Lily could find her way back. Doc remembers seeing an emergency exit, and they make a map using the kibble. Everyone adds whatever landmarks they remember, and they form an escape plan. Roberta tells them to memorize the map, and make their way to the rendezvous point. The noise happens, and Roberta says they have to fight their way to the surface.

Roberta comes out of her crate to a strobe light and Murphy. He tells her they have a rope, a bowling pin, and a blowtorch. This is like a bizarro game of Clue. They walk through what looks like a basement. Roberta and Murphy are mysteriously separated. Murphy’s flashlight starts to die, and a zombie comes up behind him. He knocks it in the head with the bowling pin. He and Roberta are suddenly back together. They walk up a flight of stairs. Doc, 10K, and Lily meet them, and Doc asks if they’re sure this is the right stairwell. Murphy says he doesn’t hear any birds, and a bird poop plops on his shoulder. He says, crap, literally, as he brushes it off.

Murphy asks where Lucy is. Roberta says to keep moving; maybe she’s ahead of them. They get to the roof, and the door opens to a wheat field. They see six crates in the distance, and the noise happens.

I just keep saying what the hell? over and over.

We see a room with a million crates in it. Murphy asks what they do now, and Doc says he’s going to curl up and die. Roberta says nobody is going to die. She may not know much or pretend to understand what she does know, but certain death in this place isn’t their fate. She knows something bad is coming, and she’s supposed to stop it. She doesn’t know why; she just feels it, the way she felt when she first saw Murphy. She didn’t know how why or what was coming next, but knew her job was to get him wherever he was going.

Lucy busts open Murphy’s crate. She’s with Carson, and they get everyone out. She says the zombies won’t hurt them, and Carson knows the way. They start going up some stairs, but the stranger comes busting through the door with a woman. They’re armed, and he tells the group to freeze. He doesn’t want to, but he’s supposed to stop them. He grabs Lucy, and says, everyone back. Roberta tells him that’s not going to happen, and Carson tackles him. His gun goes off, shooting the woman with him. Carson and the woman start feeding on the stranger. Lucy tries to get to Carson, but Murphy pulls her back, saying she can’t help them now.

They get outside to the field, and Roberta tells them to run, now. As they reach the road, Murphy falls, and they realize he’s been bitten. He’s sweaty and shaking, and Doc says he thought Murphy was immune. Roberta tells him not anymore, and asks Murphy if he can walk. He tells her that he can try, and they help him up.

They find the truck, and a car has been left there from the last group of victims. They get in it, and speed off with Roberta driving. Murphy is going in and out of consciousness. Lucy asks Doc to help him, and Doc asks Roberta what to do, but she’s mesmerized by the black rainbow in her mind.

Next time, Frankenzombie experiments.

😵 I’m assuming, since stranger dude said this was bigger than the apocalypse, we’ll revisit what went on in this episode in the future. I swear I wasn’t drunk when I wrote this. It was really that incomprehensible. Lots of thrills, but quite the puzzlement.