What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Technically, what I watched Friday night.
A quick recap of last week. Operation Bitemark went back to Mercy Labs, where they found the blob that was once Dr. Teller’s wife, and his intact son, encased in some kind of liquid in a tank. Sadly, they needed the juice powering the tank to power the radio, so Andrew was taken off life support, or suspended animation, or whatever he was. Lily wanted to save him, but Roberta said he’d be like a bug trapped in amber that won’t die, since no one was coming to get him. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of one. I thought it was “the few,” but okay. Roberta collected another cylinder, and there was also a lot of flashing back to the mercy-proof zombies and Red.
Kaya told Citizen Z that the man with a plan cracked his way into NORAD, and downloaded files from something called Black Rainbow. Scampy was still frolicking around, albeit minus an arm, and caught Citizen Z unawares. Citizen Z pulled out Scampy’s heart, but of course this did nothing. Kaya came to his rescue, zipping Scampy into a body bag. Kaya found out a lot of money had been pumped into the Black Rainbow project, and something called the fourth strike weapon. She and Citizen Z kept trying to get Operation Bitemark on the radio, saying they had vital information regarding Black Rainbow. They finally connected, and told Roberta that intruders copied the files and spoofed their way into NORAD. Kaya told her the reset will kill everything in order to start the world over; the launch codes needed to be changed. Roberta said her dream was about stopping the launch, and Kaya said they had to be changed manually at the launch pad, but they’ll need the thumbprint of the President to change them. Roberta said they were headed to Washington DC
The Season Finale
Operation Bitemark travels down the road. Roberta says this is it. The last place evacuated. Doc says there’s a nuclear war, and the government got relocated while the rest of them were blown to smithereens. Roberta tells them to keep their eyes open. They walk into the Mount Weather Emergency Operation. They see massive doors built into the side of a mountain, and a line of abandoned cars. Roberta says she guesses the President didn’t make it inside.
They look into the cars, but nothing, until they get to the last one. Secret Service zombies pop out. Murphy looks in the back, and Roberta asks if it’s the President. He says sort of; all the good parts are gone. He checks, saying no thumb on one hand, and no hand on the other hand. Murphy finds an ID indicating it’s the President’s husband. Roberta says they need to go inside; the President could still be in there. Roberta tries the ID, but the lock uses a retina scanner. She asks Doc if he’s thinking what she is, and that’s a yep. Murphy goes, eww! Doc scoops out the guy’s eyeball. It doesn’t work on the first try, but he removes a contact or cataract or something, and it opens the doors.
Roberta tells them to keep their eyes peeled for signs of life. Murphy adds, and dead. Doc asks why it always has to be underground. Why not a showdown in a penthouse, or at least something with a window? They go through the building. Roberta wants to find the Oval Office. They check the Congressional Chambers, where there are some political zombies toddling around.
Doc and Murphy dispatch them, and high-five each other for keeping democracy alive. Lily and 10K clear the stairs. Roberta smashes a zombie in the head in with her Route 66 shield. Two very much alive Secret Service agents stop them in the hallway.
Roberta introduces herself, saying she needs to see the President; it’s about saving humanity. The agents – both of whom are named Johnson, but are not related – tell them they’re about eight minutes too late to save humanity. Roberta explains that there’s going to be a biological attack to cleanse the world and repopulate it with genetically modified offspring. They’re not sure what the problem is, and Roberta asks if the President knows her husband is dead.
A woman comes out and tells Johnson to put his weapon down. They ask which one, and she says both of them. She introduces herself as Jane Carlson, President of the United States. Roberta asks how many survivors there are, and she says they’re looking at them. Most of them evacuated, and they were supposed to follow, but ran into obstacles. Murphy says he just killed some obstacles. Roberta explains they’re on a mission to find a secret weapon, and need her thumbprint. She knows it sounds crazy. Jane hopes they didn’t go to much trouble. She has no thumbs. Murphy says, eww! She didn’t know thumbs would be in such demand, and suggests they go to the Oval Office.
Jane offers them bottled water, and jelly beans from the 80s. She tells them about a visitor who said he could either kill her, or she could take a sedative, but either way, he would take her thumbs. She tried to tell him it wasn’t what he needed, but she had no choice. When she woke up, he was gone, and so were her thumbs, but she never knew why. Roberta tells her that they’re needed to access a doomsday weapon. Jane explains that she’s about the fiftieth down the line for President, so they would do no one any good. It needs to be the person who was President during the outbreak. President Bill Carney, who turned Z, but last she knew, still had his thumbs. He’s about twenty-five levels below them. The lower level is rife with zombies, and was sealed off ages ago. Roberta says the only way to access Black Rainbow is to have the President’s thumbprints. Jane asks if Dr. Teller sent her, Roberta says he did, and Jane says there’s something she’s supposed to show her. One of the Johnsons puts on a VCR, which Murphy calls Jurassic tech. Jane says that’s what happens when you’re on a budget. She takes out a tape.
They eat jelly beans as they watch. We go through all the “unauthorized use of” warnings, and finally get to Black Rainbow – when three strikes aren’t enough. We’re told if this is being watched, World War III is over, and we lost. The corn belt is a wasteland of radioactivity, and anyone who survived day one has been wiped out by fallout contamination. No doubt, some enemies have escaped, repopulated, and colonized what was once the USA. The narrator says, no, sir, not on our watch. Now is the time for Black Rainbow – the fourth strike in the doomsday project that will protect US interests, even after the US is gone. The narrator goes on to talk about drones that will spread a contaminant that kills anything it touches – the ultimate autonomous doomsday weapon, when three strikes aren’t enough. Roberta decides they’d better find the President after all.
The group gets in the last working elevator. Jane explains that access was cut off after day one, and no one has been down there since. There’s an entire alphabet of elevator buttons, and they go to level Z. Roberta asks who’s down there, and Jane says pretty much everyone was trapped, including most of Congress and the cast of Hamilton. They’re all zombies now. The elevator stops.
The door opens behind them, instead of the way they’re facing. They bust through the crowd of zombies, which, sure enough, contains some Hamilton cast members. Hamilton has officially hit the big time now. Doc says they’ll have to check every Z, and Murphy says, welcome to the nothing-is-ever-easy club. Roberta gets back in the elevator, and presses a button with an omega symbol. She gets out, and goes down a long hallway. Doc realizes she’s missing, and says they have to find her, but Jane says they can either find a dead President or help their friend.
Doc finds a jacket belonging to the President, and tosses it to Murphy. Doc says maybe Murphy’s whispering powers are back, and he can detect a scent. Murphy says he’s not a bloodhound, and it’s degrading. Doc says so is dying in an underground bunker; take a whiff. He does, but says the only thing he detects is that the President needs stronger deodorant. Jane says she has a plan.
Roberta calls out for anyone alive.
Jane suggests they open the door enough to let the zombies in one by one, and check them one at a time. She shakes her head no, as each one comes through, and they’re mercied.
Roberta continues on downstairs. She hears the music for Hail to the Chief, and follows the sound. She finds a dead man sitting in an auditorium, while the music blares from a boombox.
Doc wants Murphy to sniff one of the zombies. Murphy says he’s doing it under protest, and Doc asks how that’s different from anything else he does. Murphy tells him they all smell alike, and it’s not a good smell.
Roberta sees a teleprompter rolling a speech about everything being fine and under control.
Jane thinks one of the zombies might be the President. They wrestle with him, and Lily says he’s feisty for a dead guy. They put something in his mouth to keep him from biting, but Jane says, her bad. It’s not him. It’s the Secretary of State… or Agriculture.
Roberta goes backstage, and finds the zombie President tied to a chair. She wheels him out.
Murphy says for the record, this plan sucks unilaterally. Doc says it could be worse. Murphy asks how, and Doc says it might suck, but it’s all they’ve got. They hear a squeaking sound, and Roberta arrives with the President. Jane confirms that it’s him.
Doc says thumbs up has been given a whole new meaning. He thanks Jane, and she tells him to vote for her when things are back to normal. Roberta says if they can stop Black Rainbow, maybe there will be an election again someday. Jane says she never said anything about stopping it, and asks if that’s why Teller sent her. One of the Johnsons draws his gun, and says everyone chill and no one gets hurt. Lily draws her gun, and tells everyone to be calm. Jane tells her to lower her weapon; it’s a direct order, and she’s still her Commander-in-chief. Lily keeps her weapon readied, and Jane says she’s ordering her to help secure the prisoner. Roberta tells Lily she doesn’t have to listen to her, but Lily says she does, and moves to the other side. She says she’s sorry, but she took an oath; she’s a Marine. Jane hopes to get her vote one day. They return to the Oval Office.
Roberta tells Jane that she retrieved the toxic cylinders from Mercy Labs. Jane wonders how much she was told about the reset. They were about to join the Founder when Operation Bitemark showed up. Murphy says, good luck with that plan. Doc thought they were going to Newmerica, but Jane says it’s doomed. The only ones who will survive the reset will be those in Zona, and democracy will flourish. Doc says there won’t be anyone left to vote, but she says the right people will vote. Everyone else is collateral damage. Lily says the rest of humanity will be wiped out, and Jane tells her that she switched sides just in time. The reset starts now. Lily says, no, and shoots her. Doc and 10K kill the Johnsons. Jane calls Lily a traitor. Lily says she’s required to disobey an unjust order, and shoots her again. Doc says she just killed the President. Lily says she turned, besides, they’ll get another one.
They move out to the hallway, where Lily and 10K wait until the Johnsons appear. They blast them until there’s nothing left. Jane careens around the corner next, but they’re out of ammunition. Roberta says she’s got it, and stabs Jane in the head with a golf umbrella that just happens to be there. Roberta goes into a fugue state, and sees a fireball in the sky. She finishes Jane off until she’s another pile of mess.
Doc asks if Roberta is okay. Murphy says now that they have President Thumbelina, what are they going to do? Roberta says, take him to Washington DC. If anybody asks, they were nowhere near Mount Weather.
Washington looks like a pile of rubble. Our heroes fight off various Congressional and House zombies on the way to the Capital building. Ooh, nice exploding head. Murphy says if they knew what they were looking for, that would be great. Roberta says she’ll know when she sees it, but they’re getting close. Roberta flashes back to killing Jane, but it’s in her dream wasteland. She circles a mound of wreckage, and tells Murphy to stand there and put his hands up. She puts a curb your dog sign in front of him, and tells him to get on the rock and put his hands together. She has Lily hold the sign, and crouches down. She goes into her dream, and sees a spire instead of Murphy.
Roberta pulls some junk off of a sewer cap. They open it, and she smiles.
They go down, bringing the President with them. Murphy wonders if they’re on a VIP tour from hell, and Doc says leading the President is like walking a Slinky. Roberta brings them through a tunnel. A blind worker zombie feels his way toward them. Roberta slams him, and Murphy marvels at a blind Z, wondering what they’ll think of next. Doc tells him they go by sound, so curb his farting. They need to go down thirty flights, and discuss how to get the President down the stairs. While they’re debating this, Murphy dropkicks him, and says he fell.
When they get downstairs, they find a couple of zombies, who are either mad or blind, snacking on the President. 10K nails them with a slingshot, and announces that’s 8,402. Murphy says the President is fine, but Doc says he looks like he fell off a cliff in a cartoon. They get him back up, and Doc tells him to look alive.
They continue on, going past signs for the first and second strikes, and destruction worldwide. Next is the third strike, and kill, kill, kill. When they come to the fourth strike, there is only a Skeletor face. Doc suggests they go to the cafeteria instead, and wants to know why they always have to go the way of the skull? Roberta tells them to hold, and they hear zombies. It’s a close, narrow hallway, and Green Beret zombies move toward them. A body drops down from the landing, and Murphy says somebody up there doesn’t like them. It’s the man with a plan. Roberta says he’s going to launch the codes, and they let him get there first. Roberta translates some Latin words written on the door – to the end of everything – even though she’s never studied Latin.
Roberta flashes back to waking up in Zona. Dr. Teller says they have a lot to talk about; a lot of questions. Roberta asks where she is, and the doctor tells her Zona, and explains that she was in a medically induced coma. He tells her about the bullet passing through Murphy, and hitting her. She’s now immune. He says Murphy is there too, giving blood to save the world. The world is in grave danger, worse than the zombie apocalypse or danger from themselves. This time, they still can save what’s left of humanity, and she’s the only one who can do it.
Back in Washington, they enter another area. Roberta sees a the launch panel. She stares at it, and starts messing with the dials and keyboard. In her Zona flashback, she’s wearing a VR headset, and Teller says that what she’s seeing is a mockup launch panel of a doomsday weapon. She asks if Black Rainbow is nukes, and he says, worse. The fourth strike repurposes weapons of mass destruction, and uses them to make the world new. By the time she gets there, she’ll know what to do. In Washington, the machine starts beeping, and Roberta continues to fiddle with it. In Zona, she gets frustrated, as Teller watches. In real time, Lily says, locals coming this way. They need the door code.
Dr. Teller suggests Roberta relax, and let her subconscious do the work. 10K says, here comes everybody, Lily adding, everybody and their mother. Doc asks what happens when the timer gets to zero? Murphy tells Roberta that they need the door code. Roberta puts on the security camera monitors. 10K says they need the door code. In Roberta’s Zona flashback, Teller is explaining geographical areas to be treated. The timer stops. The man with a plan takes out a cylinder. Roberta remembers asking Teller what’s in them. He tells her the end of the world as they know it. A chemical agent that will spread the cure globally within a few years. Once the countdown is started, she has three minutes to change the cylinder. In the conscious world, Murphy tells Roberta they really need the door code. She finally gives it to Doc who punches it in. The door closes, but it gets stuck and doesn’t close completely. Roberta says when Teller woke her up, he told her how to stop it. She has to change the cylinders.
The President is wheeled to the panel. He starts to put his thumb on the pad, but Roberta says, not now. She tells the others she has to go alone to change the cylinders. Where she’s going, no one can follow. If they get to Newmerica, find Addie and Red, and tell them she loves them. She says goodbye to everyone, and tells Murphy if she’s ever in a coma again, don’t wake her. Lily salutes her.
Roberta follows a corridor to a hard hat area where the launch pad is, housing a huge flying saucer-like drone. The man with a plan appears, and tells her it’s too late. Her actions noble and heroic, but misguided. She tells him to misguide this, and runs toward him. He shoots at her, but the bullets bounce off her shield. Seeing this on the monitor, Murphy says they have to help. Doc says she told them to stay there. Roberta and the man (not to be confused with The Man in the previous season) fight. Murphy says Roberta kicked his ass. Doc says they still have a situation, and starts shooting through the door opening.
Roberta opens the drone. In her mind, Teller gives her the instructions. She blocks the opening from closing completely. Teller says she’s almost done. He says there’s a 78% chance of gas being released, which is why she has to do it alone. She asks, if she does this, is she not coming back? He says if she doesn’t, humanity isn’t coming back. She inserts the cylinder, and sits up. Murphy says that’s the signal; Mr. President, it’s showtime. Doc thinks he should wait until she clears out, but Murphy says Roberta is running the show and that’s the signal. A half-zombie flies into the room, and jumps onto Doc’s back. He twirls around, but it won’t let loose. Murphy says, on three, and the machine says, countdown, three minutes. Doc says that was fun.
Roberta gets out of the drone. The others see the man on the monitors, but Roberta doesn’t. Murphy says he’s going. Doc tells him, no, but he leaves anyway. The rest watch as Roberta gets down, and the man knocks her out.
Roberta sees the Black Rainbow in her mind. She gets rained on, and starts to burn and melt. Teller says, sorry about the fire and brimstone, but he needed images strong enough to burn in her memory. Some plans are best kept hidden, even from ourselves. He says someone would personally like to thank her for her sacrifice.
It’s Michael Berryman! The Founder tells her, hello, and Roberta says they’ve met before. He says many times. He wanted to personally thank her, on behalf of everyone in Zona, for her heroic efforts to make the reset a reality. She says her mission was to stop Black Rainbow. Teller says there’s been a small change in plans. The Founder says she’s the saver of Zona. There’s a flesh-eating bacterium in the drone. It will cleanse the world, and they’ll start anew. Roberta asks what makes them think she’s going along with it. The Founder says she has no choice, and puts his oxygen mask over her nose and mouth.
Roberta hears the countdown. She says, she’s the reset. Well, this is just mean.
Murphy fights with man. The man whacks him with the cylinder, and gas is released into the man’s face. Roberta gets up. Two minutes and counting. She goes back to the drone. Doc wonders what she’s doing, and Lily says she’d better do it fast. When Roberta is inside the drone, she forgets to block the door, and it closes all the way. Doc wonders where Murphy is. Crawling out toward the cylinder. Roberta starts to take the installed cylinder out, but her hand shakes (part of her dream). She hears the drone start. The back of the building opens, and it’s like the landscape in Roberta’s mind. Minus the nuclear fallout. The drone starts to rise.
Doc says it’s taking off with Roberta. Lily asks what they do, and 10K says they can’t stay there. They all run. This is the longest nine seconds ever. Roberta starts to mess with the other cylinder, and yells, nooo! The drone takes off. Doc, Lily, and 10K watch. Now what?
The drone flies with Roberta inside. Things start popping out of it, seeding the clouds. Murphy joins the others, his skin totally red. Doc says, Black Rainbow. Murphy says Roberta was right. They watch as the Black Rainbow forms in the sky. 10K says it’s beautiful. Lily asks if they’re going to die. 10K says it looks like it, and she grabs him and kisses him. Murphy asks Doc if he thinks they should make a run for it, but Doc says no. They’d just get run over by a giant wheel of zombie cheese. Murphy says maybe the reset isn’t such a bad idea after all, and Doc says he guesses they’ll find out.
The drone spins. Roberta says. have mercy. and cries out.
😈 I already heralded the good news of Z Nation being renewed, but Channel Zero will also be back with Channel Zero: Butcher’s Block in 2018. Looks good!
Quotes of the Week
It is not happy people who are thankful; it is thankful people who are happy. – Unknown
You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. – Mary Tyler Moore
Look down at me and you see a fool; look up at me and you see a god; look straight at me and you see yourself. — Charles Manson (Scary thought, but he might have had a point.)
We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it. – Rick Warren
🏆 Some of the Zeason’s Best Moments
🌈 Roberta’s Vision
💫 On Zona with Michael Berryman
😢 Farewell Lucy
💞 Fan Art
💥 My Girl Roberta