What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
🚑 If You Missed It…
I posted the latest General Hospital episode, supposedly to be shown tomorrow on ABC, but we’ll see. You can find it here:
When we last left, Captain Lee told the crew he didn’t want to hear loud voices and slamming doors, and to get to bed, emphasizing his point by slamming the door. In his interview, he said they were acting like a-holes, and there was going to be hell to pay in the morning.
Kate cries, and Tanner gives Ashton a goodnight kiss. Kate tells Rhylee, they’re all so awful, and Rhylee says, everyone has a breaking point. In Rhylee’s interview, she says Kate has a hard exterior, but she’s still vulnerable. She knows how Kate feels. She’d rather have explosive diarrhea than work with these guys. Kate says, everybody hates everybody. In Kate’s interview, she says if this kind of behavior had been allowed when she started in yachting, she wouldn’t still be there. She’s over these misogynist a-holes. If they want to make her the bad guy, she can play that game.
Ashton says, there was drama last night. In his interview, Captain Lee says, it’s been an extremely tough season. They’ve had injuries, people quitting, and personality issues. The crew are acting like children. He’s pissed, and he’s not putting up with it. He calls everyone to the main salon. Kate tells Courtney that it was a nightmare hearing four males saying her name and laughing. She asked what they were talking about, and it was a delightful conversation.
The captain tells the crew, what happened last night is past. He doesn’t give a flying about that. All he cares about going forward, is the next charter. If anyone feels they can’t get along, they can pack their effing bags and leave. If anyone thinks they’re safe because it’s charter nine, and he won’t fire someone mid-charter, they don’t know him. Even the crickets are quiet. He tells them, that being said, he doesn’t see anyone getting up to leave, so go to work. He says, it’s only two and a half days. He can eat a sh*t sandwich every second for two and a half days. And if he can do it, they can.
Ashton has meeting with Tanner and Brian, not waiting for Rhylee. In Ashton’s interview, he says his first season as bosun wasn’t easy. He got dumped with Rhylee’s sh*t, and wants to stay as far away as possible. Kate calls to schedule massage therapists for the guests. Provisions arrive, including flower crowns. Jemele Hill is the primary, and the stews discuss her working for ESPN. Kate thinks it’s going to be fun; the best charter ever. Kate sits on the dock having a smoke, and messing with her phone. Tanner asks if she wants to make a sex tape, and she tells him to let it happen organically. In her interview, she tells us, he said it, so it can’t happen today.
Rhylee tells Brian that she’s happy to see that he and Courtney are good, but he says they’re not good again. In her interview, Courtney says Brian isn’t ready emotionally. He looks at everything like she’s being disloyal. She’s more than willing to have a constructive conversation, but calling her out on everything she doesn’t agree with him on isn’t acceptable. Kevin asks Kate if she remembers when he wasn’t allowed in the pantry, and she says he is now. In his interview, he says, one more charter. He can do this. Just hold it together.
Courtney asks Brian if he’d like a chat, since he was mad at her again. He says she was sticking up for Kate, and stormed off, affecting everything. Both Courtney and I are wondering if he’s on the same boat. She says that didn’t happen. She was crying, and he walked past her to the van. He says it’s his fault again. In his interview, he says, loyalty is a big thing in his life. He and his friends all came from broken homes, and all they had was friendship. It’s disappointing that Courtney doesn’t have his back. He tells her, it’s the last charter, and he’s effing done. He can’t be a nice guy all the time. He calls her bru, and I want to smack him. She starts crying in the galley, and Kevin hugs her. Brian tells Tanner, he hates this boat. Courtney was upset and crying last night. Now she’s crying again, and he feels like an idiot. Kate hugs Courtney as she cries some more.
Brian complains to Tanner and Ashton about Courtney pointing her finger at him all the time. It’s always about what he did, and never anything she did. In Courtney’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship where she has to walk on eggshells to accommodate the other person. She doesn’t want to waste time on people who aren’t worthy. The captain says the guests are arriving in five minutes. Kate says, everyone in the crew is cracking. She asks Captain Lee if he ever wants to throw up and smile at the same time. The guests arrive, Kate distributes the flower crowns, and Simone passes out champagne. The captain welcomes everyone, Kate gives the tour, and the luggage is brought on board. The Valor heads out for the last time.
One of Jemele’s friends tells Kate that Jemele just got engaged, and gives her a big sign and balloons to hang. In Kate’s interview, she says the guests requested a 90s bachelorette party, and she loves the 90s. She went to a lot of ska shows and smoked a lot of pot. She loves these guests so much. In Kevin’s interview, he says, it’s the last charter, and he’s super excited. He wants to give the guests top level service, and knock their socks off with something special. While Brian and Ashton eat in the galley, Rhylee takes her food to her cabin. Brian says, it’s a shame, Ashton smiles, and I want to smack them both. In Simone’s interview, she says Jemele is an inspiration, and the guests are kick ass. Thank you, charter gods. Kevin sings, and Courtney opens more champagne. Jemele tells Simone to blink twice if the chef’s not that good. The guests make a toast, and lunch is served. Jemele wants to feel the love in the food when she tastes it. The guests agree the lunch is everything.
Kate tells Kevin that regardless of whether she’s on service, she still wants to know all the elements of the meal. Kevin says she’s never around, and calls her an effing weirdo. The boat coasts into Koh Nok, and Jemele says lunch was perfect, and they’d like dinner at 9. The jet skis are put out, and Tanner and Ashton help take the guests out. Jemele tells her friends that she has a stern observation about Kate’s coolness. She thinks they’re getting on Kate’s nerves. Another guest says Kate is just doing her job. When Kate asks if they need anything, Jemele tells Kate to promise not to cuss her out, and asks if they annoyed her. It seems like they’re getting on her nerves. Kate says she’s sorry they feel that way. In Kate’s interview, she says she feels like she’s in the Twilight Zone. Jemele is acting like Dean. We flash back to primary Dean basically calling Kate a bitch a million seasons ago. She says they’re in Thailand on a yacht. Look elsewhere for satisfaction besides her face. Kate insists they didn’t get on her nerves, and Jemele says they will. Kate says, challenge accepted.
Jemele says she’s never had a dude buy hair for her, and another guest says, just ask for the money, and wherever it lands, it lands. Kate tells Rhylee what Jemele said to her, and Rhylee asks if she’s sure Jemele just didn’t wonder if they’re being too demanding. Kate says, there hasn’t been enough interaction for them to make a judgement. Jemele tells Simone that she’s the first girl of color they’ve seen in a yacht crew, and says some encouraging words. Simone tells Kevin, the guests are amazing. Kate tells Rhylee, the guests are a-holes. As he cooks, Kevin sings, it smells like heaven, or should I say Kevin? In his interview, Kevin says he’s wrapping snapper in banana leaves with some local mango for the finale, and making a banging chocolate/peanut butter tart. Kate tells Courtney that the guests weren’t getting on her nerves, but they are now. In Simone’s interview, she says now that Jemele is putting Kate on the spot, she loves her. The guests play Never Have I Ever, which I think is the Dumbest Game Ever.
Kate calls the deckhands to help set up the bachelorette party. In Kate’s interview, she says she’s normally not super enthusiastic to throw a party for guests who are annoying, but since they’ll be getting d*cks shoved in their faces, she is. She is that cocky. (BA-DUM-CHH!) Rhylee blows up balloons, and one blows back at her. The guests get ready for the party. In Courtney’s interview, she says she loves the 90s; The Spice Girls, Tamagotchi. She was five, but she loved it.
The guests dance and drink. Jemele says she’s going through an awkward transition, and calls Kate over. In Kate’s interview, she says Jemele is looking for reasons to get mad at her, but surprise! Jemele apologizes, saying, early on, she got the wrong impression, and judged Kate prematurely. Kate asks if she’s having a great time. Jemele says she is, and Kate says that’s all she wants to know. In her interview, Kate says she loves an apology. She’s been called bitch this season more times than she’s been called Kate, but a bitch recognizes another bitch, and she thinks respect is happening. The guests go to bed, and Courtney cleans up the decorations.
I hate the dudes’ alarm clock because it sounds exactly like mine, and always startles me. The boat moves on, and hungover guests toddle out the next morning. One of Jemele’s friends says when Jemele is drunk, she gets turnt up. Tanner tells Brian, it feels like the last day of school, senior year. He’s still hopeful about Kate, and wants to see if she comes to him. Ashton tells Rhylee to drop the hook, and ready the anchor. Jemele tells the others that she woke up naked, but alone. They agree it was a great night, and Jemele asks for a shot of bourbon for breakfast. Kevin says he’s nervous about the d*ck tonight. The guests requested an erotic cake, and he’s never made a freestanding c*ck.
Kate tells the guests that they’ll be getting massages on the beach, and lunch at 12:30. Kevin wants the food served in Pyrex dishes, and Kate tries to explain they have a lot of sh*t to carry, and she has to lift and serve it. He calls her a d*ck, and in her interview, she says she’s sick and tired of every word out of his mouth. We flash back to some of the many times Kevin was an a-hole throughout the season. She says she’s being called a d*ck over casserole dishes. She has a gift for creative revenge that she only uses when she’s really angry. Congratulations. He’s made her really angry.
Rhylee feels like she’s being paid to take a break all season. In his interview, Ashton says he’s been doing things on Rhylee’s terms. Up to this point, he’s made an effort to do things differently to suit her, but he feels defeated. He wonders what he has to do to satisfy her. She’s a junior deckhand with so much to say. Kevin tells Simone there’s a lot of drama with the crew, so he’s happy the guests aren’t a-holes. Simone says Kate is the worst human she’s had to work with. Kevin likes how Simone stays out of it, and Simone says, it pisses Kate off when she doesn’t react, so that’s why she doesn’t. In Kevin’s interview, he says on the other boats he’s worked, the chef and chief stew try to get along, making an effort for both of them to shine, but there’s no trust between him and Kate. She doesn’t have his back, and it’s sad.
Tanner and Ashton set up the canopies on the beach, while Kate decorates. Simone and Brian bring the guests over. In Ashton’s interview, he says beach picnics are normally a pita, but they found an incredible gem of a beach. He can’t think of a better way to finish the season. It is really beautiful; a little cove shaded by trees. Kate greets the guests with welcome shots. The masseuses are there, and the guests take turns getting massages. Lunch is served, and one of them says it’s their favorite meal so far. In the galley, Tanner tells Kevin, eggs are gross. Kevin says, they are, but they’re cool. Huh? Kevin designs his cake, and Tanner suggests putting Betty Cocker on it. Ha-ha-ha! In Kevin’s interview, he says, this is harder than he expected, and we both laugh at his pun. On the beach, the guests are finishing with lunch. A lantern blows away, and Simone chases it.
The guests go back to the boat, and the beach stuff is taken back down. Rhylee meets the guests with towels, while Courtney has popsicles. Simone tells Kevin that the food was great. Kevin ices his cake, and Kate says his d*ck cake is amazing. She wonders if it takes one to make one. Brian and Courtney eat lunch in silence. In his interview, Brian wishes things were back to normal with Courtney. He hates drama and awkwardness, and wants to sort it out.
Kate tells the captain that it’s windy, and asks if there’s any chance of it dying down, but he says, it doesn’t appear so. In Kevin’s interview, he says the guests are lovely people, and he wants to go the extra mile for them. Captain Lee joins the guests for dinner. In Kate’s interview, she says, primaries who have a shot of whiskey for breakfast usually don’t make it to dinner and dessert. Kevin makes balls, and says he’s getting more and more into it. He’s going to make the best goddam c*ck cake he can. He wants to finish on a high note. The stews take pictures of the cake. Jemele says she needs a nap. In Kate’s interview, she says, it’s perfect. Kevin put a lot of effort into the cake, and Jemele went to bed. He’s been a d*ck this whole season. She’s acted like a bitch, but she is a bitch. She’s been hiding it, but now the bitch is woke, and there’s no going back. The captain says he’s never going to retire. If he does, he might as well lay down and have someone shovel dirt on him. He wants to do something for kids who need it, and he’s been doing a lot of charity work.
Kate puts a sparkler on top of the cake. Kevin is excited to show the cake to Jemele, and wants the guests to be super happy. He put in a lot of love into it. Captain Lee says, doing something useful with your life keeps you alive a lot longer. Kevin comes in with the cake, and one of the guests says, here they were having such a grown-up conversation, and then a penis came into the room. In Kate’s interview, she says her spirit animal is karma, and she’s a bitch. She always comes to people who deserve it. Who’s the d*ck now? Kevin asks where Jemele is, and he’s told she went to bed. The captain says he’s not taking a bite of that.
Next time – the season finale – Kevin says Kate made an evil bitch move, Ashton tells Rhylee they’re different people and that’s okay (gag), the odds look like they’re in Tanner’s favor, Brian doesn’t want to end on a bad note with Courtney, and Captain Lee says, no sailor ever learned anything in calm seas.
🛀🏻 Soap Balls In the Air…
I don’t think even they know what’s going on.
🎭 I Knew It…
I knew Roger Howarth and Kin Shriner must be big adlibbers.
📺 AMC’s The Walking Dead will return on February 23rd, along with 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days on TLC.
💍 Well, roll me up and call me curly. I’d thought the relationship between Anna and Mursel was over on 90 Day Fiancé (TO), which I wrote about on Friday. To my surprise, on Sunday’s episode, he owned up to lying to his parents, and they relented, saying he could marry Anna. To top it off, the government allowed him to return to the US again on the same visa. The wrench in the works is, he’ll only have six hours left on the visa by the time he gets to the US, and they have to get married in that time. Good luck with that.
🏀 Because I’d Be Remiss…
Shocking and sad news.
💧 No Better Time…
And no better combination than simplicity and sincerity.