What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Michael goes to Nelle’s office. He tells her she’s the perfect assistant. She has a gift for being all things to all people.
Nina relaxes in the sauna. Maxie comes in, and says Nina is going to rehire her at Crimson.
At the hospital, Monica teases Nathan about Man Landers. He tells her that he’s quitting the advice business. It was more all-consuming than he anticipated, and he wants to concentrate on his family and real job. Monica says it’s good he has his priorities in order.
Ava looks up old Jason online, and says that explains Franco’s interest. Griff knocks at the door, and asks if she’s ready for dinner. She tells him she forgot.
Danny asks why Jason is dressed up. He says it’s an important night, and they want to explain it to him and Scout. He says things are changing for their family. Danny asks if it’s a good change, and Sam says very good.
Sonny goes through the safe house with his gun drawn. He says, you went to a lot of trouble to get me here; show yourself. Patient 6 says, Sonny, and Sonny sees him on the stairs, his gun also drawn. Sonny asks who the hell he is; he looks exactly like Jason. Patient 6 says that’s who he is. Sonny says someone else has said he was Jason for the last two-years. Patient 6 says, come on, you know it’s me.
Nathan tells Monica that he has to interview a DUI patient. She says that Man Landers is going to be missed. Nathan sees Amy. She asks how Maxie took the news he’s retiring, but he hasn’t had a chance to tell her.
Nina says Maxie is stalking her. Maxie hands her an employment package she drew up for herself. She says any magazine would kill for the exclusive she has to offer – Inside the World of Ask Man Landers.
Nelle asks what Michael means, and he says it’s just an observation. She knew exactly how to act in every situation, from revealing herself as Josslyn’s kidney donor to being Carly’s assistant. His parents should have seen her coming, but they didn’t because she was so convincing. She wonders why he’s dredging this up now. He tells her that he just found out she spent a year in a mental hospital.
Griff suggests hanging out and ordering in. Ava thinks he wants to avoid being seen with her in public.
Jason explains media to Danny, and how they’ll be working out of an office now. Danny asks if he can help, and suggests an issue about dogs. I second that. Jason wants all the kids to help, and when they grow up. the company will be theirs if they want it. Danny thinks it sounds cool. Sam has no idea how much she wanted this until Jason made it happen.
Sonny says if he was Jason, he would have blown Sonny’s head off before he could blink. Real Jason says he’s not going to shoot him. Sonny asks why the gun, and he says he thought Sonny would have him along. He seems like the type to shoot first and ask questions later, and he thought he’d have to hold him off while he explained. Sonny says explain it to him; where has he been?
Griff tells Ava staying in would avoid awkward questions, and she says people might get the wrong idea and assume they’re a couple. He apologizes, saying he didn’t think she’d take it that way. She says imagine the harm he could do if he tried. He takes her hand, saying he’s clumsy, and apologizes again.
Nelle doesn’t like talking about it, since she thought she’d be judged, and she’s feeling that way now. Michael says he’s the last person who would hold mental illness against anyone. She says she’s not mentally ill, but had a breakdown. She wanted to put it behind her and forget. He asks why she had a breakdown.
Sam can’t believe this is going to be their business. Jason asks if she’s scared, and she says she’s exhilarated and it’s crazy jumping into the unknown. What if they fail? Jason tells her that they won’t. After everything they’ve been through, they can do anything as long as they’re together.
Sonny says five years is a long time, and Real Jason says it wasn’t five years for him. He woke up in a Russian clinic where they kept drugging him. It feels like he was there six months at most, and he worked on a plan to escape. Sonny asks why he didn’t call, and he says he gave the number to another patient. Sonny realizes it was Ava, and Real Jason says she gave the number to Dr. Klein. He tells Sonny that “they” were paying Klein to keep him drugged up and under control. When Sonny asks who’s “they,” Real Jason has no idea.
Maxie tells Nina it’s an inside look at what it’s like to be married to hottest, sexiest internet sensation. Nina wanted some peace, but knows it’s not going to happen, and tells Maxie to proceed. Maxie is going to focus on their fabulous marriage and true partnership. Nina says she was never part of the brand. Maxie says she contributes the glamour. They’ll take pictures of the apartment, and her, in couture outfits. Nina asks if she’s told Nathan, and Maxie says he’s on board and welcoming it with both well-muscled arms.
Amy video chats with Chet. She introduces him to Nathan, saying he’s the real Man Landers, and no, they’re just friends. She tells him she’ll call him back when she gets a break. She asks Nathan if he’s ever had the feeling that you know something is for the best, but it means giving up something you enjoyed. You have the satisfaction of doing the right thing, but the sadness of letting go. He knows the feeling.
Nelle says Michael wouldn’t understand, and he tells her to try him. She says she’s afraid to get hurt, so she runs from pain and lies to avoid it, and sometimes the lies make things worse. She didn’t have a fancy hospital or loving parents, so she ran as fast and long as she could, and crashed. She begs him to stop digging in her past.
Griff doesn’t pretend to know ins and outs of dating, and Ava says that he’s clearly an amateur, and she’s the relationship version of training wheels. He tells her that she’s reading too much into him suggesting take-out. She says that she’s busy anyway. He did hurt her feelings, but that’s not why she wants to cancel. Griff asks what’s so important, and she says getting answers about him, and shows Griff the sketch.
Sam tells (what do I call him now?) Other Jason that besides making a formal announcement, they’ll have to work the room. She asks him questions that people might ask, like how long he’s been considering the purchase. He says for a while, and she asks why not get more into the PI business? He tells her it was fun until people started shooting at him. He knew Julian would have a lot of legal bills, and might be ready to sell. He tells her their tastes are well beyond Julian’s, and the more he thought about it, the more he thought it was worth doing. Sam wonders if they’re asking for trouble.
Sonny asks how Real Jason got back to Port Charles, and he says he had a lot of help. He tells Sonny that he made an escape attempt too soon, and explains about the paperclip, and how Ava helped him. He says once he made it out, a priest helped him to stow away on a ship, but there were two mercenaries waiting for him in New York. He knocked them out, and took their guns and cash, but they’re still looking for him. Sonny wonders why he’d go to Ava, and not him. Real Jason says he did come to him.
Michael tells Nelle that he wasn’t looking for dirt; he was trying to prove her innocence. Nelle says she’s made mistakes and tried to leave them in past. The last thing she needs is her mistakes being resurrected and thrown in her face. She asks what if the roles were reversed? Is there something he hasn’t told her? He says he’d feel defensive, and there is something. She asks why he’s never told her, and he says the time never seemed right. Nelle says neither one of them has given full disclosure. She forgives him, but can he forgive her?
Ava explains to Griff that the picture is the man from the clinic. Griff asks where the sketch came from, and she says a random third party. Patient 6 is here, and it’s crazy, but they ran into each other by accident. When she mentioned Jason, he asked a lot of questions. Now she knows why. She shows Griff the headline about Jason being presumed dead. She says, apparently, he’s Jason too.
Sam asks Other Jason what if people think he’s getting back into the business. He says they’re not going to let their past keep them from the future they want. There’s a knock at the door, and it’s Monica looking for grandchildren. She explains Olivia-Q will be taking care of them while she goes to the party. In honor of tonight, she has something to give Jason from her and his father.
Real Jason tells Sonny that he went to his house first and let himself in. Sonny says the security codes have been changed, but Real Jason says he knew how to override them from Spinelli. He heard a guard say Sonny was gone, so he left. Sonny asks why he didn’t wait, but Real Jason says he didn’t know how long Sonny would be gone, so he did something stupid. He went to see Sam. He didn’t think it was fair for him to just show up, but he did. She wasn’t home, so he picked the lock. When he got inside, it didn’t feel like five years, more like five minutes; the time he lost hit him all at once. He couldn’t breathe, and went out on the terrace. When Sam came home, he was about to go in, but then he showed up. It didn’t take him long to figure out he was her husband, but had no idea Sam thinks it’s him.
Michael says he forgives Nelle. Her past is her own. Until she wants to share it, he’ll respect her privacy, but he needs to be able to trust what she says. He tells her now that’s settled, and they have a theater date. Nelle finishes up, and Michael gets a call about talking to the media about fracking. He asks who set this up?
Amy tells Nathan that Chet doesn’t know how his medical expenses were covered. He thinks the VA paid for everything. Nathan hopes she gets credit one day for everything she’s done. There are a lot of clueless bro’s out there who are now better off because of her.
Nina tells Maxie that she’s trying to read the employment package, but it’s wet. She knows the numbers are unacceptable though. She’s already factored more in. Maxie says Nina let her pitch her heart out in the steam room, when she knew she was rehiring her. Nina says she’s right, but she wanted to hear Maxie’s spiel. She thinks the Man Landers story is a great idea. She respects Maxie’s friendship with Lulu, but asks her to have the same courtesy and respect her marriage to Valentin. Maxie promises to stay out of it. She asks what changed Nina’s mind. Nina says not what, but who. It was her new boss, Jason.
Ava tells Griff that Patient 6 saw the picture of Avery, and knew Sonny’s house. He asked her to take a note to Sonny, who was a bastard like she knew he’d be. By the time she came back, Patient 6 was gone, and had left her a note. Griff asks if he signed it, and she says no, but she saw Franco sketching him. He’d said it was how Jason used to look before his facial reconstruction, so she swiped a sketch, and came back to do research. She says Patient 6 looks more like Jason than Jason did.
Jason opens the box, and it’s a pair of cufflinks. Monica explains it’s an Ouroboros, a snake consuming itself. It symbolizes rebirth, a move forward to consume the past, like what they’re doing. She knows Alan would want him to have them. He adored Jason, and his biggest regret was that they didn’t reconnect. She’s relieved he’s broken things off with Sonny and not working with him again. Other Jason says the things he did at twenty don’t serve him as an adult. Monica says it’s a new beginning, and she’s happy for them. She thanks him for choosing a new and better life. Geez, why does he looks so grim?
Real Jason tells Sonny that he could hear in Sam’s voice how much loves him. Sonny says Sam thinks she’s married to him. Real Jason says he put it together when Ava said Jason bought the media company, and she told him about the accident and how Carly figured out this guy was Jason. Sonny says there was DNA proof, and he knew things only Jason would know. Real Jason says he’s Jason. Sonny knows that, doesn’t he? He’s Sonny’s best friend and brother. He has to tell him that he knows him.
Nathan and Maxie meet in the steam room. She wanted to celebrate in private. He asks what they’re celebrating. She says she has good news, and Nathan says he has something too. She wants him to go first. He says he’s done. No more intrusive fans or obnoxious tweets. His time as Ask Man Landers is officially over. Maxie tells him, no it’s not. He has to continue.
Nina sees Michael at Crimson. She gets a text, and says her stepdaughter is requesting she come to a tea party. She tells Michael that she’ll see him later at the launch party, but he says he and Nelle’s tickets are for tonight. He thanks her for pulling strings so they could get them, and she wishes she could say he’s welcome, but she didn’t do it. He says he must have misunderstood. She tells him congratulations; the tickets are difficult to get. She leaves, and Michael gets a text from Carly asking if he’s moving in with Nelle, and that Nelle implied they were.
Ava tells Griff that she thought about going to Sonny, but he thinks every word from her is a lie. Griff thinks maybe he could talk to Sonny, but Ava asks what he’ll say. Some man is running around with Jason’s face? She thinks if Patient 6 wants to get in touch with Sonny, he will; he seems impossible to stop. Griff asks if she thinks he’s dangerous, and she says he told her that he and Sonny are friends. Griff says what if he’s lying, and she asks if he struck Griff as a liar, but he has no idea.
Sam asks if Other Jason is wearing the cufflinks. He says they mean a lot. He likes the symbolism, and likes that they belonged to his father. Alan was a good man, and he should have done better by him. Sam says it was a difficult situation. Jason says he was difficult. He fought to get away from Alan, and doesn’t know why. Sam says it’s time to make the formal announcement. He asks if she’s ready, and she says she is, as long as she’s by his side.
Sonny tells Real Jason that he’s been calling another guy Jason for two years, and what about the DNA? Real Jason can’t explain it. He knows nothing about him; he doesn’t even know himself. He went to work for Sonny in 1996. Sonny taught him everything he knows about business and most of what he knows about life. He’d never turn his back on Sonny, and would never start a media company. Somebody shot him in the back. Sonny tells him to stop. He puts down the gun. He shakes Real Jason’s hand, and says he knows it’s him. They hug.
Tomorrow, Molly tells Alexis no drama, Andre says Franco is getting closer to the truth, and Michael calls Nelle out about another lie.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
Teresa and her father cook pork chops. The girls are going crazy, and grandpa says, mama mia, don’t scream. Teresa says she’s essentially a single mother, her dad is living with her now, and her mind is never going to be carefree. Her mother has been gone a month. She says the kids have been through a lot. It breaks her heart.
Dolores visits Siggy. Siggy tells her about lunch with Margaret. Dolores doesn’t trust her. Siggy says Margaret gave her a dig, saying everyone thinks she’s a yes person, including Teresa. In her interview, she doesn’t know where Teresa gets off calling her an ass kisser. She asks what to do next, and Siggy says hear Teresa out. She’s having a jewelry/handbag party. She thinks they should talk, but not with claws out.
Margaret and Joe #3 go to Melissa and Joe #2’s house for dinner. Melissa says she wants the story of how they met, and Joe #2 does a funny imitation of Margaret flirting with Joe #3. They decide to play pool. They kick the kids off the table, and Joe #3 breaks. Margaret says her lunch with Siggy started off rough, and Siggy cried like, five times. She says she felt badly, but they let the conversation happen. Melissa wonders where her apology is, since it was her birthday. Margaret thinks you shouldn’t cry over a cake, but Siggy is getting hormone pellets in her butt soon. Joe #3 says once they go through menopause, it’s all over.
Siggy unpacks groceries as she talks to son Josh. He’s sleeping at his girlfriend’s house. In her interview, she says she wants the opportunity to be a cool mom. She asks if he thinks Josh and his girlfriend will be going to school together, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. He hasn’t decided where he wants to go yet. She asks if it’s that painful to talk to his mom; she wants more than one-word answers. He asks why she’s upset, and she starts crying. She says everything she does annoys him, and she can’t give any more. In her interview, she wonders what if he goes away and forgets about her? He extracts himself quickly and I don’t blame him.
Teresa helps Milania with her spelling. Melissa drops by with cupcakes. Milania asks if she can miss dance on Saturday. In her interview Melissa says Teresa has her hands full, but she’s like Mr. Softy with the kids. Melissa tells her about Joe #2 buying the restaurant, but she knows already. Melissa is frustrated finding out she’s the last to know. She doesn’t know how he thinks he’ll have the time. Teresa says she was willing to kick in. Melissa thinks going into business with family is a bad idea, and doesn’t know what Joe was thinking.
At the office, Margaret’s mom talks about old friend Bob, who’s a friend with benefits. They’ve been sexting, but are getting together IRL. In her interview, Margaret says her mom is an out of control party girl, and she sometimes wishes she was raised by wolves. Her mother married young, left her father when she was two, and they basically raised each other, but her mom always came through for the kids. She knew she was loved even though they didn’t have a lot. Her mother says she’s not afraid of sex, and everyone goes, whoa, because they don’t want to hear it.
Siggy calls to invite Margaret to the party, but she’s going to be in Vegas. She says since Siggy is a relationship expert, maybe Siggy can help her mom find someone new to sext.
Teresa, Melissa, and Danielle meet for dinner. Danielle asks if anyone has heard or seen from Siggy and Dolores. In her interview, Danielle says she doesn’t want to create drama, but Dolores told her something about Teresa that wasn’t too nice. If Dolores doesn’t come clean, she’s going to have to say something herself. Teresa says Siggy apologized, and Melissa says still nothing for her. In her interview, Melissa tells us that she doesn’t even get sloppy thirds. Teresa says Milania gave her a headache, and Melissa says she knows how to work Teresa. She doesn’t want the girls to be mad at her, and needs to put her foot down. In her interview, Teresa is pissed that Melissa is telling her how to parent.
Teresa visits Joe #2’s new restaurant. She’s brought pictures. He wants to enhance the place, and asks what she wants to do first. He wants it to be about family. Melissa joins them. He says must be nice to roll in late, and Melissa says she runs a business and has three kids. Teresa thinks she should have delegated. She’s still annoyed about Melissa saying she should be stricter with her kids. Joe would like Teresa to be in the kitchen, and Melissa says she’ll hostess. Teresa asks if she’d waitress, and Melissa says no. Teresa thinks Melissa will just hang out on the weekends and drink wine. They bicker. In his interview, Joe says they’re making him nervous. He thought this sh*t was over. He tells them no more of this stuff, and Melissa says they started it.
Siggy is helping Dolores stage the house for selling it. Her boyfriend wants to move closer. She sees a future with him, and he doesn’t mind that she lives with Frank. Siggy says she’s having anxiety about Josh leaving, and he gets irritated with everything. Dolores says he has a lot going on inside with leaving his girlfriend; she went through the same thing with Frankie. She tells Siggy to let it go.
Teresa organizes Milania’s slime collection with her. She says whoever invented slime is no good. Milania emails her dad. It breaks Teresa’s heart that Joe #1 is missing all the little moments, and they need him. It’s time they’ll never get back. She thinks Milania doesn’t need more discipline, but more attention and love When Teresa asks for a hug, Milania jets.
Tons of women gather for Siggy’s party. Dolores is early because Siggy wanted to introduce her around. Siggy is frustrated with Melissa, who she thinks owes her an apology.
Teresa has her makeup done. Danielle picks her up. Man, prison time looks good on Teresa – she looks amazing. Danielle asks if she’s heard from Dolores, and Teresa says no. Danielle tells Teresa that Dolores said something not so nice about her – she’s not concerned about anything or anyone more than money, and be careful. She was hoping Dolores would come clean. Teresa is shocked. She wonders why Dolores would say that to Danielle. She can’t even comprehend it. She can’t wait to confront her about it. Danielle says good friends don’t say things like that.
Siggy thanks everyone for coming, and hawks the bags. Wow. That’s a lot of bags. Melissa arrives. She wonders what the deal is, since she hasn’t heard from them. Siggy says she was livid at the birthday party, and Melissa says she was relentless at the table, calling them names. After what happened, they were freaked out, and thought she’d call the next morning saying she’d had one too many. Siggy says in a million years, she’d never throw a beautiful cake across the floor. Melissa says sorry; she’ll buy her a cake. In her interview, Melissa says, we ate the cake, threw the cake, the cake is done. Siggy makes an announcement for everyone to shut up. She asks if they had a beautiful, three-tiered cake given to them for their birthday, how many people think throwing it across the room would be rude? Show of hands. Omg, really? No surprise, everyone agrees. She says who does that? Dolores has no idea why she did this. Siggy lies on the floor in front of Melissa, and says it’s all she wanted. Melissa is completely embarrassed. She doesn’t know anyone, and is surprised she’s even still there. Me too. I would have left.
Teresa gets there, and Melissa tells her and Danielle what just happened. Teresa is like, no she didn’t, but is glad it wasn’t her. She says family comes first, and no one is humiliating her SIL. She confronts Siggy, and Siggy says she was upset. Teresa says they ate the cake. They were having fun, and the stuff she said was horrible. She asks why Dolores was quiet, and Dolores says Siggy was upset. In her interview, Dolores says she has a history of being a loyal friend, but can’t say the same for everybody. She says she’s been sticking up for Teresa a long time, and would never let anyone talk about her.
Danielle repeats what Dolores said to her. Dolores jumps up, and calls her a m-effing liar, and a crazy scumbag. She gets in Danielle’s face. Danielle says she has no ulterior motive and nothing to gain from saying it. Dolores tells Teresa that Danielle is a starving, hungry bitch, and she’d never say that. Teresa needs to sleep with one eye open, because Danielle is up to no good. Methinks Dolores got real hot real fast because Danielle speaks the truth.
Delores says she has no history of stabbing Teresa in the back. She tells Teresa she has a choice; believe her or Danielle. In her interview Teresa says Dolores has been distant, and she and Danielle might have a crazy past, but they’re getting along great now. She asks why Danielle would lie. Dolores keeps calling Danielle crazy, and Danielle is like, thanks for the diagnosis. She says Danielle isn’t hard to diagnose. In her interview, Danielle says Dolores is clearly guilty; Helen Keller could see she’s lying. Danielle leaves the room, and Teresa and Melissa follow.
Danielle is all weepy, and Teresa asks what’s wrong. She tells Teresa that she was telling the truth. Back in the other room, Dolores tells Siggy that Danielle is out for revenge. In the past, Teresa created a lot of problems for her, and she’d better watch her ass. All of a sudden, it’s water under the bridge? She doesn’t think so. Danielle tells Teresa she’s shaken and wants to go home. Teresa and Melissa say they’ll go too. Teresa tells Siggy that she’s taking Danielle home. Delores says she’s afraid for Teresa; something’s not right. In her interview, Melissa doesn’t know how Dolores and Siggy can be so dismissive. Every time Siggy cries, they have to bow down and comfort her, and she’s still waiting for her apology. Dolores says if she wasn’t Teresa’s friend, she wouldn’t have warned her.
Next time, Joe #2 sees his name in lights, Melissa and Teresa argue, Gia agrees with Melissa, and Siggy criticizes Margaret.
😒 Officially not liking Siggy. She needs to get those hormones stat. Maybe the OC’s Shannon can go with her.
🏡 Tonight was the finale of Channel Zero: No End House. It was very weird and I enjoyed it, but I still have no idea what it was supposed to be about. Since a decision had to be made, I’ve chosen the viewpoint that it was an allegory about coming of age in suburbia. The next chapter will be served in 2018, with Channel Zero: Butcher’s Block.
😢 Okay, maybe it only made me sad. Tinsley and Scott have broken up. …sniff….
And for some pre-Halloween/Housewives viewing pleasure…