What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Jerkface Billy walks up to Jason’s car. He says he thought the plates looked familiar. We meet again, Mr. Morgan. It confuses him though, since he told Jason not to come back. He cut Jason come slack last time. He thought Jason was a smart fellow and would know he’s not welcome.
At Charlie’s, Alexis tells Brad that she’ll let him know about the court order. Julian asks what happened, and she says the court ordered that Willow divulge the whereabouts of her son. She has confidence that Diane will stand up for Wiley. In perfect timing, Diane calls.
Shiloh asks Zara if Willow will be all right. It pains him to see her in handcuffs, but he’s hoping she comes to her senses. Zara says she admires his faith in humanity, but they can’t be waiting for Willow to see the light. She’s petitioning the court to unseal the adoption records. He asks how long that will take, and she says, that’s up to the judge to decide, but it will be at least a week, possibly more. He thinks they might not find the records, and she asks if he’s implying the records might have been scrubbed. He says since he’s been in Port Charles, he’s learned the mother of his child seems like a mild-mannered schoolteacher, but she has powerful friends.
At the hospital, Lucas asks if Bobbie got his text. She says, three nurses are out sick, and there’s been a measles outbreak in pediatrics. Thanks, parents who don’t vaccinate their children. Ha-ha! I love when they slip current concerns in like that. She asks how things are going, and if Shiloh is getting closer to finding out the truth. Lucas says nothing is happening, but he’s there to discuss the results of her blood test.
Kim and Drew listen to the CD that Oscar found. She says, this song was Oscar’s favorite. Technically, it was their favorite. Drew says, like our song? Something they danced to? She says, among other things, and kisses him.
Sam waits in the park for Jason to call park. Curtis comes along, and Sam asks how Jordan is. He says she’s already stressing him out. She got out of the hospital today, and you’d think she’d go home and rest, but she went straight to the PCPD. Sam can’t say she’s surprised. Curtis says, Mac is doing a wonderful job, but she can’t leave it be. He’s giving it an hour, and then pulling the plug and taking her home. Sam says now that Jordan is back to work, maybe they can drum up business for Ashford and McCall. He regrets to inform her that he’s dissolving their partnership.
Jason tells Billy that he’s not in Beecher’s Corners. According to the sign, he’s just beyond the limits, and according to Billy’s badge, his jurisdiction stops there. If he doesn’t mind, Jason will be on his way. Billy does mind, and wants to get a better look. Carol has her face turned away from him, and he tells her to look his way. He recognizes her, and asks what she’s doing
Alexis tells Brad that Willow refused to say anything about the baby. Brad says, Willow said she’d protect him, and she did. Alexis says Shiloh’s attorney argued that Wiley was in imminent danger. The judge asked Diane if she was involved with the adoption, and she refused to answer. He was going to jail her for contempt of court, when Willow unloaded on Shiloh. She called him a liar and a fraud, and a bunch of other things; then she lost it. She told Shiloh that he was the father of the baby, but he’d never find his child. (I don’t remember her saying specifically that he was the father; only that she’d had a baby and he’d never find it.) She refused to say anything about the baby or where he was. Julian says, brave woman, and Alexis says, brave woman or not, she’s in jail for contempt. Julian says, they can’t force her to talk, but Alexis says, they don’t have to. The court will order the adoption records be opened, and they won’t find anything, will they?
Lucas brings Bobbie into his office, but she doesn’t see why it’s necessary. It was a fluke. She was tired, she hadn’t eaten, and was dehydrated. She’s also been upset with all the craziness going on. She’s sure she’ll feel better when it’s over. It’s exactly the same thing that’s been going on with Brad and his stomach. They’re terrified that Wiley’s biological father will take him away. Lucas tells her, sit down listen. It’s not the stress. The test was positive, and she has type two diabetes.
Drew tells Kim, hold off. He gets the yearning and the want for comfort. She says it’s not what he thinks, and he says they spent months caring for Oscar. He gets it. Kim says they found the strength to face the terrible truth together. Drew says the traveled halfway around the world, and she wouldn’t be human if she didn’t want a reprieve, to forget. She says she doesn’t want to forget, but there’s one way they can heal. She wants a baby – their baby.
Curtis tells Sam he took a job as head of security at Aurora Media. The salary is more reliable. Sam says he doesn’t have to justify it to her. She knows what they’ve been through, and it’s a lot, plus there’s the high cost of medical expenses. It’s not like she helped the business either, considering she was focused on bringing down Shiloh and DOD. He asks how that’s going. Word on street is DOD was exposed as a cult, and it’s sinking fast. She says, not fast enough. Shiloh has the ability to rise again, and this time he has extra motivation – a child he believes to be his.
Jason says they need to get back to Port Charles. Carol isn’t feeling well. Billy says that explains why the diner is closed. He says Carol has an ankle monitor, so they know where she is. She’s not in Beecher’s Corners, which is a violation. He knows she’d never do something like that, so she must be there against her will because Jason coerced her and is trying to abduct her.
Shiloh thanks Zara, and suggests she donate part of her exorbitant fee to reestablish DOD in Port Charles. They’re under attack from the powerful interests he mentioned, and have been dispossessed. They need a new home. Now he’s more motivated than ever to lead the faithful because of his child. She explains what she does, and that the exorbitant fee is for a lawyer’s expertise. He says she’s good, and she says, so is he. He’s going to have to explain to the court why he deserves custody. Why they should give a child to a father who no longer has a home, and who was arrested for sexual assault. He says he was never convicted, but she says, not guilty and innocent are two different things. He’s paying her to tell him the truth. Does he want to hear it or not?
Alexis asks Julian if that’s what he meant by taking care of things; tampering with the adoption file. He says, what’s done is done, and he would do again. He loves his kids as much as she loves hers. There’s nothing they wouldn’t do for them. She says, forget the laws he trampled on. If the court finds out he tampered with the records, he won’t be protecting Wiley, but endangering him. He’ll give Shiloh the ammunition he needs to blow Julian’s family apart.
Drew thinks Kim isn’t thinking clearly, but she says she’s never been more sure of anything. Being a mother is a huge part of her. He says she’ll always be Oscar’s mom, but she says she’ll never be her full self if she doesn’t take care of a child. They can create a new life; give a child all their love. Drew thinks she hasn’t fully recovered. She had altitude sickness, and was talking like Oscar was still with them. She says, he was; he is. He heard what Cameron said. They felt Oscar’s presence. He heard them. Drew gets it. They wanted to reach out because they’re still in pain, like he and Kim are, and they’d like to believe Oscar responded. He would give anything to have another moment with Oscar again. Their son is gone, and noting wishful or magical… Kim says he told her that Oscar was waiting on Mount Kilimanjaro. Drew tells her, what he said was that once they were there, Oscar would be at peace, and live on in their memories. She says he’s not hearing her. They created a beautiful, wonderful, brave, and compassionate human being. They can do it again, but this time be together, and make sure Oscar lives on long after they’re gone.
Sam says Jason still hasn’t gotten back to her, and Curtis realizes she’s not just trying to get the goods on Shiloh. Sam says she and Jason were never apart. She had to play on Shiloh’s vanity to make him think she was a believer, so she could access the inner workings of DOD. He says her getting so deeply involved with a place like that never made sense. Sam says she had to protect her sister, like he looks after Jordan, emotionally and financially. She thinks Aurora is a good fit for him, and she’s happy he’ll have Drew’s back. Curtis says he’ll damn sure do his best. She says he’ll also be working for Jax, and he asks, what can she tell him about his new boss?
Billy says he’ll remove Jason by force, and Jason tells him that he has nothing to say without his attorney. Billy tells him to step out of the car, and pushes Jason when he does. Carol says Jason didn’t hurt her, and Billy says it’s a good thing he found them in time. His jurisdiction doesn’t matter if he’s stopping the act of committing a crime.
Shiloh gets agitated, saying he’s being treated like a criminal. He’s losing his rights when he didn’t break the law. He’s not going to let Willow get away with it. Zara hopes he got that out of his system. Seeking revenge on the mother of his child will only backfire. He apologizes, saying he momentarily let his baser emotions take control, and he forgot his own practices of forgiveness and reconciliation. She tells him, better, but he needs to convince the judge, who will see only concern for the child. Try again, from the top.
Brad says he reached Molly. She took Wiley to the park. He needs to calm down, since Wiley is a sensitive kid. Julian says, Wiley is protected. There’s no way Shiloh can find him, right? Alexis says it will take time for Shiloh connect Wiley to the baby Willow gave up. Brad says, Lucas won’t be okay with this, and Julian says, it will be fine. They do whatever they have to for their kids. Brad says, so they just continue to take care of Wiley, while Willow stays behind bars until she can’t take anymore and cracks. Alexis says, another possibility is to get ahead of the problem. Tell the truth. Tell the court the child they’re looking for is Wiley.
Bobbie asks if Lucas is sure, and he says he ran the test a few times to be certain. Her blood sugar is sky high, and she’s not producing glucose like she should. Bobbie says she’s a nurse and would have known, but he says she knows it’s easier to diagnose others than themselves. She says she’s recorded the symptoms for a hundred patients. Lucas says she said herself she’s having blurry vision. Bobbie says she just thought she was getting older. He says, and there’s her thirst. She says everyone she knows is terrible about drinking water (ugh. color me guilty of that), so she just chalked it up to that. She takes care of herself. This shouldn’t be happening. He says he’s sorry, but it is happening, and the bottom line is, she has to deal with it. She knows what it can lead to. She says, cardiovascular disease, neuropathy, kidney disease, blindness. Lucas tells her if she doesn’t want to say it, he will. It could lead to her death.
Kim promises Drew that she’s not delusional. She’s not suggesting a replacement for Oscar. He was unique, irreplaceable. They didn’t raise him together, and she knows Drew regrets missing out on things. This could be their chance to create a new child. Drew says, their chance? Isn’t she forgetting someone? What about Julian? She says, it has nothing to do with him, but Drew says, yes it does. No matter how he feels about Julian as a person, he sees they have something real. As much as Oscar wanted them back together, he saw it too. She says Julian doesn’t want to. He said someday, maybe later, which means not ever. Drew says, let him piece it together. She asked Julian to give her a child, and he said no because he cares about her state of mind. She says going to Julian was wrong. It’s between them. They lost a child, and it’s up to them to create a new one. I keep getting this mental picture of a Frankenstein lab.
Sam tells Curtis, when she first came to Port Charles, she and Jax were in a relationship. It didn’t work out. He asks how she feels now. She says, he’s a businessman, and knows how to turn a profit and make things work. Curtis says, a shark, and Sam says, an entrepreneur with shark-like tendencies. He plays hardball, but doesn’t cheat. If he’s asking if Jax would be a good boss for him, she says, yes. He asks if Jax is a good fit for Drew, and she thinks he’ll raise Aurora’s profile, and make the business more successful. Curtis is glad to hear it, and she says, her turn. What’s with all the questions?
Jason is in a jail cell. Billy says he has no one but himself to blame. Unless someone put him up to it. Is he an errand boy? He wonders what Jason wants with Carol. She made a mistake, but paid her debt to society. It would be a shame to use her against a good man like Shiloh. Billy asks if he doesn’t know how to talk. Jason says he’s entitled to a phone call; that’s the law. Billy says he gets one call, but the cell service there has been in and out. Jason asks what about the pay phone, but Billy says it’s been out of order for weeks. He won’t get his call until morning.
Zara asks Shiloh to tell the court why the child should be placed with him. He says he wants the privilege of raising his son, not for selfish reasons, and not for him to follow in his footsteps or walk in his shadow. Shiloh wants him to be his own man, follow his own path, and learn from his father’s mistake. Shiloh wants him to care for the weak and helpless; people who aren’t able to find a family of their own. Zara says he needs to drop the DOD spiel and get real. The judge will see right through him. She tells him, keep rehearsing until she believes he’s speaking from the heart, and try harder to cover his real motive. He means to get Willow too. He says ideally a child should be with their mother and father. She says she thought so.
Julian asks if Alexis is suggesting Brad volunteer the information that he adopted Shiloh’s son. What will that accomplish except handing Wiley over without a fight? Brad is with Julian on this one. Alexis says Shiloh claims he’s never going to stop. If he can prove they knew and withheld the information… Brad says, it will make Shiloh look like a victim. Julian says, he’s a con man and a sexual predator. Alexis says they all know that, but the law is on his side this time. He’ll come for them for sure, but if they say they didn’t know, and thought the birth father was out of the picture, they’ll look like loving, honest parents. The court will weigh that against Shiloh and all his baggage. It will be a compelling case for custody. Julian says, screw the moral high ground. There’s no record that Wiley is Willow’s son. Brad says Shiloh will never give up. Even if they get custody, the judge might reverse the ruling, and one day they’ll get a knock on the door. Alexis says nothing is going to happen overnight, and it will stall the proceedings if the court orders a DNA test. Brad says they can’t let that happen.
Drew says he doesn’t want to add to Kim’s pain; the hurt she’s feeling inside. She needs to let herself grieve. Take the time to decide when she’s ready. Kim says she’s ready now. They felt Oscar’s presence. He says, they’re children; kids who lost their friend and want to feel he’s still there. Kim says, he is. The séance brought his spirit back.
Curtis tells Sam that he just wants to know what to expect. Obviously, he and Drew are tight, but Jax is a wildcard. If he’s monitoring security, the more he knows about everyone on the job, including the new guy at the top, the better he can do his job. Sam thinks Curtis will prove himself invaluable to both Drew and Jax. But if he changes his mind, and doesn’t want to wear a suit and tie, she’s not changing their business card. She gives one to him, and he says he’ll keep that in mind. They hug, and I feel sad.
Bobbie tells Lucas, she knows all this. He tells her, read it anyway. She says she already has, to patients. He asks her to tell him what it says. She says she needs to be more vigilant with her diet and exercise, check her blood sugar, and take medication every day. He says the section about heart health worries him most. She says her heart is fine, and he says, now. But her heart’s at risk and more prone to seize. Two out of three diabetic deaths are due to heart disease, not sugar. She says she’ll make sure to take medication if needed, but he says she’s still at risk, even if it’s under control. She knows he’s a doctor… He says he’s her son. He can’t stress enough for her to take care of her heart. She has a good one, and he doesn’t want anything to happen to it. She hugs him.
Alexis says, the DNA test can only help. Shiloh has to prove he’s the father, and it will buy them time. It’s not about chromosomes, but about what’s best for Wiley. Julian wonders what they do; grab Wiley and leave? Alexis understands the impulse run, but it would be the worst thing. She knows it’s a leap of faith, but she believes being honest is the best way to hang on to Wiley. Brad has to go, and Alexis says she’ll set up an appointment to go over everything with him and Lucas. Julian says it will work out somehow. Brad leaves, and Alexis tells Julian, stop feeding into their panic. He’s not helping. He says, she is? She’s asking for more than a leap of faith. It’s a gamble with Wiley’s life. She asks what he thinks he did tampering with the documents that prove Wiley’s adopted.
Drew doesn’t think the séance worked, and tells Kim that what Cameron was talking about was more abstract. Kim says, even if it was wishful thinking, they can still keep Oscar’s spirit alive by creating a brother or sister. He says that’s no way to honor their son. Oscar was willing to go to court to gain independence. No matter how much they love their children, there comes a time to let them go.
Curtis leaves a message for Valentin, saying what better way to investigate Jax than from inside his own company. For the record, he isn’t just doing it for the paycheck. He wants to make damn sure no one takes advantage of his friend Drew.
Sam says Jason should have texted by now. Shiloh appears, and says if she’s looking for Curtis, he just saw him in Oscar’s Meadow. He hopes it’s a consolation to Oscar’s parents. He tells her, despite everything, he still has high hopes for her.
Brad brings Wiley to the hospital to see Lucas. He tells Lucas that they need to talk. Bobbie sees them, and asks how her handsome grandson is. She’s glad Brad is feeling better, and takes Wiley from Lucas. She says she loves him and has no intention of missing single second of his life. She plans to be around a long time. She tells Brad and Lucas to never leave her in the dark again. Lucas promises, and says he loves her. She says she loves all three of them. Her family is her life.
Julian tells Alexis that they have different methods, but their goal is the same. They do whatever it takes to protect their children. She says what if what he did does more harm than good. He asks if it’s ever occurred to her that her way could do more damage. She says she can’t talk in riddles. What does he know that she doesn’t? He tells her, all he’s going to say is, there’s no way in hell Shiloh is going to get his hands on Wiley.
Kim tells Drew, he’s right. Oscar would be the first person to tell her that she needs to let him go, but he also wanted a family who would live on after him. Drew says she and Julian are still together. They can make it happen when the time is right. She say he doesn’t understand. They don’t need be together to have a baby. There’s another way.
Billy says the diner is closed, so no supper for him. He’s going to check on Carol, and Jason says Diane Miller is his lawyer. If he doesn’t talk to her within 24 hours, they’ve violated his rights. The arrest will be thrown out. Billy says Jason doesn’t know how things work in Beecher’s Corners. Jason says Diane will sue. Beecher’s Corners will have to pay a fortune in damages, and he’ll lose his badge. Think about it. What will happen when he has no uniform, and can’t push people around? Billy tells Jason, back off, and watch himself or he’ll get the firehose.
Sam asks Shiloh to please tell her that he’s sleeping in the park because he was evicted. He says he’s having such a good day, nothing can spoil it. Not even her. Sam’s phone dings and she gets a text: In BC – Jason 911. Shiloh hopes it’s not bad news. His phone rings, and it’s Billy. Billy says he thought Shiloh would like to know the Beecher’s Corners PD has a guest – Jason Morgan. Shiloh says he knows what to do. Billy tells Jason that he’s in serious trouble. Right up to his neck.
Tomorrow, Epiphany needs Bobbie to come with her, Sam asks what Shiloh just said about Jason, and Billy promises it will be painless.
The sun rises over the Smoky mountains. Whitney brushes his teeth with a battery-operated toothbrush. Shep says, time’s a-wastin’. It’s time to go to Nashville, and start all over again. He asks how Craig feels. Craig says nothing, and Shep says, that good. Austen and Shep have beer for breakfast. Shep says they ate and drank well. Craig says Shep pissed him off pretty bad. Shep tells him, easy, and Craig says, it’s not acceptable. Shep says he was kidding and he’s sorry. He calls a truce. He asks Craig to help him cook the eggs. In Austen’s interview, he says he’s seen it a million times. Shep says what he wants, then says he’s sorry, and it’s all good. Driver Nate comes back, and they pack up. Four hours to Nashville.
Chelsea meets Danni at an OB’s office. Danni tells Chelsea that, since she was twenty-five, her mother has been saying she should freeze her eggs. Chelsea says, it’s too much pressure, but she doesn’t know if she wants kids. Danni does. Danni says she wanted a good friend with her, and hasn’t spoken to Kathryn since the pillow party. Kathryn hurt her feelings, and there hasn’t been an apology. Chelsea says they all do things they regret and say things they don’t mean. Danni says she’s not Kathryn’s doormat. In her interview, Chelsea says, there’s a side to Kathryn you don’t want to be on the wrong end of, but it seems petty to end a friendship over this.
Chelsea looks at a diagram of the uterus, and says she can’t believe a baby fits in there. She knows nothing about this stuff. I would hope she’d know the basics. The doctor comes in, and Danni says she wants to learn more about freezing eggs. The doctor explains that hormone injections stimulate the ovary into producing eggs, and the injections are given over a period of ten to fourteen days. Chelsea asks if you give them to yourself, and the doctor says, yes; it’s a hard process. After that they do an egg retrieval. Danni knows your most fertile in your twenties, and says she’s thirty-four. The doctor says, right this second, it’s not that different as far as how many eggs she has, but the quality goes down the longer you wait. Chelsea asks about the expense, and she says it’s anywhere between ten to fifteen thousand a cycle, and sometimes it takes more than once. Chelsea says, even then there’s no guarantee, and the doctor says, no. Chelsea thinks Danni should do it, and Danni says she guesses she should. She doesn’t seem all that enthusiastic.
The guys arrive in Nashville. Wow. It’s very neon-y. They go to the Fairlane Hotel, and up to an amazing room with a firepit and the largest terrace ever. Austen says they have to bring people back there. In his interview, Shep says if Austen can’t get girls to come back there; Austen, we have a problem. They get ready to go out. Shep practices introducing himself. Shep asks if Craig noticed he shaved, and Craig says he didn’t realize. Me neither. Austen says Madison sent him a picture of herself looking hot. He wonders what the purpose is, and Shep says to mess with his head. There are 500 better looking girls out there, and she was doing that while she was dating him. I assume he means with other people.
They go to a restaurant, and Craig questions Shep’s choice of wine. Shep and Whitney make a big deal about how much it costs, and say they deserve it, being elder statesmen. Craig looks at an article on his phone, and says Kathryn filed documents seeking full custody, and Thomas filed a counterclaim. There’s a reason for her panic attacks. He asks Whitney if Kathryn was acting like she is now when they were hanging out over the summer. Whitney says he can’t answer that, since they weren’t hanging out. Craig tells him that Kathryn said they hooked up, but Whitney says that’s not true. Craig says he didn’t know it was a secret, and Austen tells Whitney to just say he banged Kathryn. Shep says it’s none of their business. At this point, the sommelier can’t believe what she’s hearing. Craig says their brains work differently, and Shep says that’s because he’s smart. Craig says he’s sabotaged dinner, and Whitney says Craig started it. Austen and Craig go outside, and Shep says Craig has no class.
Craig tells Austen that Shep is on his high horse, so he needed a change of scenery. Austen says Shep acts like he’s the smartest one in the room, and Craig says, he’s mean. He puts others down to make himself feel better. It’s sad. At the table, Shep says, Craig is obnoxious. He has a personal assistant, even though he has nothing going on. Whitney asks if Shep is mad at Craig, but Shep says Craig is hard to stay mad at. Austen and Craig come back. Craig says he needed a break. It’s been close quarters. Whitney says they’ve been quarantined a long time. They clink glasses, and all is good. For now.
Patricia rings for Michael, who brings Chauncey in. She’s gotten a little antique French bonnet for Chauncey. He likes to dress up. She tries getting it to stay on his head properly, and Michael thinks it’s not the right shape for a Pug. She doesn’t think it’s going to work, and abandons the idea. She tells Michael that she got a fabulous dinner set, and she’s thinking of changing the guy’s dinner party. Now that they’ve gone to jail (I guess by they, she means Thomas?), she’d have to change the seating. She mentioned the idea to Madison about getting the girls together. It might be amusing. In Patricia’s interview, she says, in the past, she’s always had guy’s dinners. We flash back to one of those. She decided with the metoo movement going on, she’s getting with the program, and having a girl’s dinner. Michael asks about menu, but she hasn’t gotten that far. She says, there’s always tomorrow, and Michael says, Scarlett said something about that.
The guys go to a bar, and chat up some girls. Whitney says he’s too old to do shots. They tell every girl they meet about the penthouse they’re staying in. Shep horns in on Austen, taking over a conversation he’s having about golf. Austen tells Craig that if Shep hits on one more girl he’s talking to, he’s going to kill him. In Austen’s interview, he suggests if a girl wants to get Shep’s attention, start talking to him. There’s a breathalyzer on the wall, and they all test themselves. Austen misses Madison. He wonders if he’s helpless or hopeless. In his interview, he says they have a connection. He tries to ignore it, but it’s glaring. He tells a random girl, it was the whole purpose of the trip, and let’s some strange guy know he told Madison that he loved her.
In the morning, Shep tries to get everyone up, saying their flight is at 10:30. We see a clip of them at 4:30, still dancing and drinking in the hotel room with the girls.
Naomie gets out ingredients for an Indian meal. Metul comes over, and she says she’s making butter chicken, his favorite. She tells him, there’s no guarantee it will be as good as his mom’s. She got the recipe off of Amazon. In her interview, she says she can cook basic things, but Indian food is a whole other animal. Metul makes her want to cook; it’s a way to show love. Metul reads off the directions, and says it’s supposed to be marinated and refrigerated overnight. Naomie says, sh*t, and he asks if they should order sushi. She says she wants to do it, and asks if it looks like what his mom makes. He says, no; so sushi? In Naomie’s interview, she says Metul is one of best things to happen to her. The pressure not to mess up is high. She uses half and half instead of cream. He tells her the finished product looks good. He says he’s never made it from scratch. They eat, and she says, something’s missing. He says, it’s missing an Indian person who’s good at cooking. So sushi? I like Metul.
Chelsea visits Kathryn. She suggests the get down to business. The last time she saw Kathryn, they were hanging out at Craig’s. She and Danni were talking, and Kathryn thought they were saying something about her. We flash back to them lying, saying they were talking about the trip. Kathryn says it wasn’t Chelsea. Danni said some things on the girls trip that bothered her. Danni was coming at her in front of everyone, and it was unfair. We flash back to Danni reading Kathryn the riot act at the treehouse dinner. Kathryn says Danni never said those things to her, and it was disappointing. Chelsea thinks Danni is protective of her, but Kathryn says Danni could have talked one on one. Chelsea says, they’re so close, something was bound to come up. It’s hard to find people you can trust. In Kathryn’s interview, she says the thing she regrets most is not bringing up the way she felt sooner. They’re better friends than this. Danni has seen her when she was crazy Kathryn, pregnant Kathryn, and Thomas and Kathryn Kathryn, and has still been by her side. not judging her. She tells Chelsea that she and Danni have been best friends for six years. It means so much, and she lost a lot of that.
Michael prepares the table, while Patricia does place cards. She says the theme is the artichoke dinner. They’re starting with fresh artichokes, and dip, then pasta and poached pear. She tells Michael she’ll await the guests. Naomie and Madison arrive first, and Patricia ask about Naomie’s new boyfriend. She asks if Metul is Turkish, and Naomie says he’s Indian. Patricia says some of the most beautiful people she’s met are Indian. Danni comes in next. Patricia says Chelsea and Austen were talking on the porch for two hours at the pillow party, and Chelsea says it was about the texts Madison sent. Madison said the problem stemmed from Danni having something to say about her transgression. Danni says she told Craig, which wasn’t very smart. Naomie is sitting in between Danni and Madison, and in her interview, says she feels like laser beams between them are cutting through her head, and she wants to hide. Danni says a guy she was dating told her, and she told Craig, which was the dumbest thing she could possibly do. Madison says Craig isn’t the one to blame. It shouldn’t have been a topic of conversation. Danni says she didn’t make it up, but Madison says, it was fuel for the fire. Danni is sorry that Madison got hurt. Cameran arrives, and asks if Kathryn is coming. Patricia says she is, and Cameran asks if Danni and Kathryn are good. Danni says they haven’t talked. Patricia heard Kathryn has a new boyfriend, and the girls tell her that he’s a politician. She says, oh dear, and Naomie says she googled him and he has almost naked pics out there. They all bring the pictures up on their phones, and Madison says, his penis looks like a Ken doll. Cameran asks if it’s a selfie, and Patricia says, hand it over, putting on her glasses. Chelsea thinks it wouldn’t look good if Kathryn walked in while they were looking at pictures of her boyfriend’s pecker. Wow. I don’t know if I’ve ever known anyone to use that word. Is it a Southern thing?
Michael greets Kathryn, saying, they always save the best for last. I would love to have a Michael. Kathryn has brought a friend along, another Madison. Patricia says she heard Kathryn has a new beau, but Kathryn says, they’ve apparently broken up. He’s not what she thought he was, but whatever. She’s over it. She says, looking at it from the outside, she understands now where they were coming from. She asks if Danni wants to talk, and Cameran tells them, go.
Kathryn asks how Danni has been. Danni says, emotionally exhausted, and Kathryn says, same. Danni says she’s sorry, but Kathryn says, don’t be. She didn’t listen, and now she had time to reflect. She says Danni raised some red flags, and Danni says she had concerns. She thought when she told Kathryn about them, she was coming from a good place, but after they came back, Kathryn’s tone changed. She was shocked at what Kathryn said to her at Craig’s party. Why go there? Kathryn can’t go there all the time. Kathryn says she’s working on it, and Danni says, it hurt. Kathryn says when Danni brought up things on the trip, it felt like baggage being put on the table, and she snapped. In her interview, Kathryn says she’s used to people talking sh*t about her, because she was with someone who she acted crazy around. She also went to rehab, and lost her kids for three years. But Danni shouldn’t be the target. Danni says she had no ill intent, and Kathryn says she doesn’t think there was. She gets it now. She loves Danni. It feels like they broke up. Danni says she doesn’t feel that way, but more like Kathryn was flirting with another guy on Instagram. They laugh, and the gong rings. Dinner is served, and Kathryn hopes Patricia doesn’t think she’s starting drama
Patricia points out that the napkins were owned by the King of Bavaria. Cameran holds hers up, and it’s nearly the size of the table. Patricia says the theme of the dinner is artichokes, in the food and porcelain. In Kathryn’s interview, she says Patricia is the person everyone aspires to be. She’s going to be humble AF, and admit she wants to impress her. Patricia instructs the girls on how to eat an artichoke. She tells them not to worry; there’s more food coming. She says when she does the guy’s dinner, they’re raucous. The girls are reserved. Cameran says that’s because they’re sober, and suggests they do shots. Patricia says someone offered her a Jell-O shot, and Cameran says, that’s low class. Chelsea says they’re her favorite. They do a tequila shot (Kathryn has water), and Cameran makes that face I do when I drink tequila. Like it’s the worst tasting thing on earth. Because it is. Patricia comes close to that face too. In her interview, Patricia says she wondered what taking a shot was like. She prefers a martini. Me too, Patricia. Me too.
Madison says she’s single again. Chelsea says Austen isn’t ready to be a man, and Madison needs a man. Madison thinks Austen is influenced by Shep’s lifestyle, and manipulated into thinking that’s the way to go. Chelsea thinks it’s a Southern man thing. Patricia says, Southern men don’t grow up. She’s not including Whitney, since he always worked. Madison says Shep called her a white trash hairstylist. In Naomie’s interview, she says, Shep has never worked a day in his life, so he can shut up. Cameran says she thinks Shep is suppressing anger. There’s something underlying that he’s angry about. Madison says maybe he’s still bitter about her declining him when she was married. Fingerbowls are brought out, and Cameran says, this is so extra. She asks Patricia, if Whitney doesn’t get married, can she divide her stuff among them? Naomie asks, what if Whitney and Kathryn get married? Patricia says she’s heard rumors to that effect. She wouldn’t be unhappy, and she’d be assured a grandchild.
Shep goes to the pet shop. He’s getting a dog, and shows the clerk a photo of his pup to come. It’s a French bulldog, and adorable. He says he’s naming it Craig. It’s a homage and a jab at Craig. He already owns one Craig; now he’ll have two. He looks he looks at collars. He sees a black tie collar, and the clerk asks if his dog will be going to any galas. Shep says, if he meets someone. In his interview, Shep says the two Craigs are alike. They sleep a lot, and get excited easily. He buys about $500 worth of dog stuff, which actually doesn’t seem excessive to me. He says now he has two Craigs who cost him money.
Human Craig meets Kathryn and Austen for dessert and coffee. Kathryn asks how the trip was, and Austen says camping didn’t work out that well. Craig says, at dinner, Whitney STFU real quick when he brought up Kathryn. Austen says Craig just asked how she was when they were hanging out last summer. He pretended not to know what Craig was talking about. He thinks it’s a weird thing to deny, just hanging out. Who cares? Kathryn says she’s tired of being insecure about the situation. It’s just frustrating. In her interview, she says everyone knows, but his continuing to deny it makes it more of a conversation. Austen says Shep acts like he’s smarter than everyone, and Craig says, he’s turning into a huge a-hole again. Kathryn says he flipped out on her, and we flash back to the pillow party and him calling her a child. She says, the next morning he was totally normal. Austen says, when that side of Shep comes out, run for the hills. He exploded about Madison, calling her a white trash hairdresser, and saying his mom wouldn’t even let someone like her in the house. To him, everyone is less than. Kathryn says Madison talked about it at Patricia’s dinner party.
She asks if Madison and Austen have hung out, and Austen says he hung out with Madison last night. Craig and Kathryn exchange glances. Austen says the trip was a clusterf**k, and when he came back, he wanted to hang out with her. Craig tells him to stop saying they’re broken up. How does he expect to get over her if they’re hanging out? Austen wants him to stop talking about this. Cold turkey doesn’t work for some people. In Craig’s interview, he calls Austen a p*ssy. Austen says he misses her. He’s disappointed that he let Craig, Shep, and Danni get in his head. That’s what blew up this whole thing, and effed everything up.
Next time, Craig the puppy arrives, Kathryn and Naomie get hypnosis therapy, Cameran has a birthday party, and Craig and Austen argue.
📂 New Girl Lawyer In Town…
Given my poor history with getting and or spelling names right, it didn’t surprise me to see her name spelled as Zahra. However, to add to my moniker confusion, in the link, it’s spelled Zara. I give up. I was right about recognizing her though. I’ve seen her perform stand-up before.
👍 I just have to say it. Chaka Kahn was looking good on Watch What Happens Live tonight. Technically, the 10th Anniversary show is tomorrow (Thursday) at 10 pm, but all week there’s been a cavalcade of special guests and trips down Memory Lane. Even though I think if Andy ever called me sweetie, in that sarcastic way he does, I might punch him in the face, I have great admiration for his drive, business acumen, and fanboy ways. His talk show combination of Playboy After Dark and PeeWee’s Playhouse is a lot of fun, and a nice change from the usual late-night offerings.
💞 Just Like the Weekend…
There’s nothing I’d like to be closer to more. Is it Friday yet? No? <sob!>