What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Lucas tells Brad, the car won’t stop. There’s something wrong with the brakes. Kendra starts moving forward, and Brad yells, look out! The cars collide.
Julian tells Neil, no doubt Kendra is the one who poisoned Alexis. She blames Alexis for her brother’s death. Neil says he’ll call the police, but Julian says, not so fast.
Curtis tells Jordan that he can’t believe it’s Thanksgiving already. I can’t believe it’s not over already. Jordan says she’s going to have to get the Christmas decorations put out. She apologizes for not making dinner, or even ordering one. They’ve been so busy, it crept up on her. He says, after the year they had, all that matters is her being in his arms. Jordan says they still have to celebrate their anniversary, but Curtis says they’re not done celebrating yet. She asks if he has a surprise, and he brings out an envelope, telling her, tradition says paper is for the first anniversary. She says she knows he didn’t put cash in an envelope. She wonders if it’s concert tickets or a love letter. She opens it, and says it’s their wedding vows. She says she loves it, and kisses him, saying, happy anniversary. He says, the first of many, and they kiss some more.
At the hospital, Willow looks at a brochure for classes for a first time mother; caring for a newborn. She flashes back to talking to Sasha in The Floating Rib. Sasha says she knows it’s not her place to ask, but… and Willow tells her, don’t say it out loud. She doesn’t know, but she is late. Back to the present, Chase comes in, and says he got Willow a turkey sandwich. She hugs him, and then F-U George, as we’ve come to call him, breaks in with news that can’t possibly wait another almost hour.
But I got this. Chase says he should have brought her a slice of pumpkin pie too. He looks at her, and asks if she’s okay.
Carly tells Sonny, this babies are asleep, and Dev and Josslyn are out with their friends. He asks if they have the place to themselves, and she says, here come the dimples. He asks if they’re working, and she says, maybe. The doorbell rings. She thinks it might be Brad and Lucas, but it’s Jax, who says, happy holidays.
Alexis can finally move around, and looks at Kendra’s wrecked car, and the mess around her. Lucas and Brad’s car is up further, and not in plain view. Everyone is unconscious. Or dead.
Neil asks why Julian is hesitant. Alexis could be with Kendra right now. Julian says they don’t want to tip their hand. They need to know where Alexis went after she left the hospital. It’s not unusual for her not to answer her phone, especially if she’s absorbed in her work. Neil says Julian doesn’t think she’s working, but Julian says they’re talking about Alexis. Kristina sees them, and asks where her mom is. Neil says they have it handled. She asks, what’s going on? and Neil says they think they know who poisoned her mom, and why. He shows her a picture of Kendra, and she says, that makes no sense. She seems totally normal. Julian says, except they know her as Kendra Lennon. Her real name is Kendra Bower. Kristina says, Kiefer’s sister. Oh my God. She knew Kendra looked familiar. She was away at college when Kristina and Kiefer were dating, but she saw pictures. They think Kiefer’s sister tried to kill her mom?
Alexis calls to Kendra, and struggles to get up. She pulls herself up on the car, and looks inside. She leans on the car.
Jax says he came by to wish Josslyn a happy Thanksgiving, but Carly says he just missed her. She and Dev went to meet Trina and Cameron. Does he want some pie? He says he just had dinner. Sonny says they’ll tell Josslyn he stopped by, and Jax says, on second thought, he will have some pie. Sonny suggests giving him some Corinthos coffee to compliment his dessert. Carly goes to the kitchen, and Sonny tells Jax, have a seat. He’s surprised Jax is there. He usually has more important things to do. Jax wonders where Sonny is going with this, and Sonny tells him it’s just them. He doesn’t have to pretend. Carly told him the whole story.
Neil tells Kristina they can’t say for certain if her mom is with Kendra. She signed herself out. Kristina says Kendra could have followed her, and Neil says the thing that’s concerning is, they can’t reach her mom. She’s not answering her phone. Julian asks if Alexis still has the app on her phone that she used to track Kristina and Molly. Kristina thinks so, even though she tried to get Alexis to delete it. Neil asks if she could track Alexis through it. She says she’s never tried, and Julian tells her, try right now.
Alexis gets the car open, and leans Kendra back in her seat and feels her neck for a pulse. Kendra’s eyes pop open, and she turns to Alexis, grabbing Alexis’s wrist, and freaking me and Alexis the hell out. Alexis says Kendra needs medical attention, but Kendra says, it’s too late for her. She says, this isn’t over, but death won’t find Alexis like it did her brother. She falls back against the seat again.
Kristina says she found Alexis, but the signal isn’t moving. Julian tells Neil to call the cops now. He’s going to find Alexis. Neil says he’ll call from the car; he’s coming too. Kristina wants to come, but Neil tells her to stay there, and promises to bring her mother back.
Sonny says Jax’s secret is safe with him, just like his secret about Dev is safe with Jax. Jax asks what it is Sonny thinks he knows. Sonny says he understands the reason Jax doesn’t want Josslyn moving in is that he has a houseguest. What’s her name? Carly comes back with pie and coffee, and says she told Sonny that she thought Jax was seeing someone, which would explain why he’s so reluctant to have Josslyn move in. Sonny says if Jax found someone who makes him happy, good for him, but he doesn’t understand how anyone could keep Jax away from Josslyn. It must be serious.
Curtis doesn’t want to dredge up any of the challenges he and Jordan have faced in the past year. They made it through, and that’s all that matters. Jordan tells him, as Aunt Stella would say, without darkness, there is no light. He says, another testament to how far they’ve come. She’s quoting Aunt Stella. She says they can still take Stella up on a London honeymoon, but he says he thought their honeymoon would just involve the two of them, but promises they’ll have one. A bungalow on the beach, with no one around for miles, and they can make love wherever they please. They kiss, and the phone rings. Jordan says she’s on her way.
Willow tells Chase that she’s just a little emotional. Thanksgiving in the pediatric ward was fun, but sometimes it gets to her. Some of the kids are so sick, and they’re giving thanks. That’s what she needs to do. Give thanks that Wiley is healthy and happy. He says that has a lot to do with her, and the sacrifices she made. She gave Wiley an amazing life, and someday, she’s going to be a terrific mom. He saw how she was with Wiley. It was instant love. He thanks her for the tip on the Aquamat; she made him look good in front of his niece. She says she saw how he was with Violet, and he’ll make a great dad. He says, being an uncle is kind of like being a grandparent. You get to have all the fun with the kid, then send them on their way. No muss, no fuss, and best of all, no discipline. He deeply fears he’s going to be a pushover, and his kid will turn into a hopeless brat. My advice, try babysitting full-time. I was a mother’s helper for years and got all that, plus I got paid. His phone rings, and he says, it’s the station. He says he’ll meet them there, and tells Willow, sorry, but she says don’t apologize for doing his job. Just be careful. He says he’ll see her at home. She takes her phone out, and calls Sasha. She says she needs to take a test, but she’s a chicken. She can’t bring herself to buy one from the pharmacy. She tells Sasha where she is, and looks at the brochure again.
Alexis makes her way around the car, and flags down Julian and Neil. Neil sits with her, while Julian investigates the car. She tells Neil that she followed Kendra. She went to the cemetery. She was visiting a grave, and talking to her brother. She left, and Alexis went to look at the headstone, and saw Kendra’s brother was Kiefer Bower, the guy she ran over by accident. She hit Alexis with something, and next thing she knew, she was in a car. Kendra had injected her with something, and she couldn’t move. She wanted Alexis to know what was happening, and said she knew Alexis had killed her brother on purpose. Alexis had made their family suffer, and she wanted to make Alexis’s family suffer the same way. She dragged Alexis out of the car, left her in the street, and backed up. Kendra was going to run her over. Julian says, Kendra is still in the car, and Neil goes to check. He says he’s not getting a pulse; he’s going to call 911. Julian tells Alexis, it’s over. Kendra’s not going to hurt anybody ever again. He asks, what happened? Did Kendra lose control of the car? Alexis says Kendra backed up and revved the engine; she wanted Alexis to hear it. She started moving, and a car came out of nowhere. Julian notices there’s another car.
Neil says he’s calling for an ambulance. Alexis needs to get to GH right away. Julian tells Neil to stay with her; he’ll see about the other people. Alexis tells Neil, it was horrible. Kendra was going to run her over, and another car broadsided her. Neil tells her, that’s enough for now, and they hear sirens. He tells her the ambulance is coming, and she wonders how he and Julian found her.
Carly tells Sonny, Jax’s private life is none of their business, but Sonny says they’re supposed to be on the same page. That’s what Jax said when he found out the truth about Dev. Sonny’s phone rings, and he says, it’s Kristina. Sonny answers, saying, happy Thanksgiving. What’s going on? Kristina says she’s at the hospital by the main entrance. She’s not hurt, but she needs to see him. Carly asks, what’s wrong? and Sonny says, Kristina is at the hospital, and she sounds frightened. As he leaves, he tells Carly to give Jax the extra pie. When he’s gone, Carly tells Jax, this has to stop.
Sasha sees Willow at the hospital, and asks how she’s doing. Willow says she’s trying to make peace with being a hopeless coward. Sasha tells her, says the woman who went to jail rather than give up the whereabouts of her child. Sasha asks what’s the source of her cowardice, and Willow says, partly, she doesn’t want know what a pregnancy means for her and Chase; and partly because she’ll be disappointed if she’s not pregnant. It’s crazy. Having a baby would be a disaster right now. Sasha says, temporary emotional paralysis. She can’t tell Willow how many times she resolved to tell the truth, but chickened out because someone said something that made her rethink the whole thing. Willow says that Chase told her that he’d rather be an uncle than father; all of the fun, with none of the responsibilities. Sasha isn’t surprised. Chase isn’t around kids, and a lot guys don’t really dream of being a dad until they know they’re about to become one. Willow says, it’s just so different for her this time. Last time, she was so afraid and alone, and this time, she could keep the baby. Sasha says Willow’s not alone. She has more support than she knows. She has Chase, Michael, and her. And while the two guys are good, it takes a girlfriend to bring in the practical. There’s only one way to know for sure. She hands Willow a pregnancy test.
Neil talks to EMTs about Alexis. Chase asks, what happened? and Neil says, Kendra drugged and assaulted Alexis, and was prepared to run her over, when her car was struck by a second vehicle. He asks if they can do their statements later. He needs to get Alexis to the hospital right away. She might have a concussion, and she’s still in shock. He believes the woman who attacked Alexis is dead. Neil helps Alexis to her feet.
Chase goes with an EMT to check Kendra. The EMT says, there’s no pulse or respiration. Chase makes a call, while Julian gets to the other car. He says, sorry, Brad. You forced my hand. At least he was able to save Alexis. He looks inside, and says, no, no, no, no!
Jax tells Carly, Sonny is right; the pie is delicious. She tells Jax, it’s not a good idea to antagonize Sonny under normal circumstances, but this is blatant stupidity. She gets that it’s half the fun; she sticks it to Ava whenever she can. But Ava doesn’t have the potential to blow her life apart and hurt the people she loves. Sonny can do that, and more.
Sonny gets to the hospital, and Kristina thanks him for coming. She tells him, some things she knows, and some she’s just guessing. He says she’s not in a courtroom; just tell him. She says, it started with Kiefer. The night he died, Alexis was taking her home from the hospital, and Kristina was out of it. She doesn’t remember anything, but Alexis swears it was an accident. Kristina believes her, but Kiefer’s family didn’t. They knew about his father, but he had an older sister, Kendra. Sonny says, the name sounds familiar, and Kristina says that’s the name of Alexis’s life coach. It turns out, they’re the same person. Neil and Julian had reason to believe Kendra poisoned Alexis. She gave Alexis a supplement laced with something. Sonny asks where Alexis is now, and Kristina says Kendra came to visit Alexis, and then Alexis checked out of the hospital. No one has seen either one of them since. She tracked Alexis down with a locator app, but the signal’s not moving. Neil and Julian went to find her. Sonny says he’ll call his people, but she says, the police already know. She thinks she knows why Kendra did it, and Sonny says, to avenge her brother. Kristina says she thinks she knows why Kendra suddenly decided to do this now, and thinks it’s because of her.
Julian yells to Lucas to wake up. He’s not supposed to be in the car. Julian gets a huge tree branch, and tries to bust a window open, but it just bounces off the safety glass.
Jordan asks Chase what they have so far. He says, so far, it’s sketchy. Apparently Kendra was preparing to run Alexis down when a second vehicle collided with her. Julian comes running up, and says his son is trapped in the other car, and they have to get him out.
Sonny asks how this is Kristina’s fault, and she says she lied in the Pledge she gave Shiloh. She said she was awake, and saw Alexis hit Kiefer on purpose. Shiloh hated her, and hated Sam even more. What better way to hurt them than hurt their mother. He probably reached out to Kendra, who then thought she had proof, and went to avenge her brother. Sonny asks what Kristina’s part is. That she lied about her mother? Kristina says, the lie set everything in motion. Sonny says Kristina is responsible for her own actions, like Shiloh and Kendra are responsible for theirs. She can regret the lie, but everything else was out of her control. Neil wheels Alexis in, and Kristina runs to hug her.
Alexis says she’s all right, and Sonny asks, what happened? What did Kendra do to her? Alexis says she thought she’d play detective, and followed Kendra to the cemetery, but it was a trap. Kendra knocked her out, and threw her in the car. She injected Alexis with something so she couldn’t move, then left her in the road, and started to back up. Kristina says Kendra was going to run Alexis over like what happened to Kiefer. Alexis says, but she couldn’t. Another car crashed into Kendra first, and she’s dead. Thank God, Neil and Julian managed to find her. Neil says, Kristina deserves the credit; she tracked Alexis on an app. He wants to get Alexis checked in, but Kristina asks if Kendra mentioned Shiloh or her Pledge. Alexis says Kendra was a very disturbed woman, but Kristina tells her, just say it. Alexis says, yes. Shiloh told Kendra about the Pledge, and told her Alexis ran over Kiefer on purpose. Kristina says she’s sorry, but Alexis says it’s not her fault. She’s not to blame. Shiloh manipulated Kendra, and Kendra targeted her. They’re responsible for their own actions. Kristina says that’s the same thing Sonny said, and Alexis says, for once, they agree. Sonny says, it’s a miracle. Alexis says, Kendra is gone, and Neil insists they get her checked in. He wants a CT scan and a full blood panel. Kristina says she’s going with them. She hugs Sonny, and says she loves him.
Curtis sees Sonny when he comes out of the elevator, and asks how Alexis is. Sonny says, it looks like she’ll be okay, and Curtis says he’ll let Jordan know; she’s at the crime scene. Sonny says, some Thanksgiving, but Curtis says they all have something to be thankful for. He’s thankful for his first anniversary. Sonny shakes his hand, and congratulates him, saying, time flies. Curtis says, it does, and adds that Sonny knows all about anniversaries. If Sonny doesn’t mind, he’d like to ask a question. It’s more like advice. Sonny says he’ll do his best, and Curtis asks how Sonny and Carly do it. How do they make it work so well?
Carly tells Jax, if Sonny finds out that Nikolas is alive, and they’ve been hiding him, he’s going to expose Jax. He doesn’t like Nikolas, and it would hurt Jax. Jax says, Nikolas is Spencer’s father. He thinks Sonny would refrain for Spencer’s sake, but Carly says he’s delusional. If Sonny could deport Jax, he’d do it in a heartbeat. And if he can avoid the blame, it will make his day. She gets that taking a risk is part of the fun, but if it falls apart, it won’t be fun for Josslyn. Josslyn needs him, and not on the phone or on SKYPE. She needs him every day, there, in Port Charles, and he needs to get along with Sonny. If Sonny deports Jax, Josslyn will hate him, but this time, it will be worse. It will tear Josslyn’s life and family apart. Don’t do that to Josslyn. Don’t do that to her.
Sasha asks Willow, aside from this, does she feel good about her and Chase? Willow says she does. She’s so lucky to have him in her life. He’s so solid and thoughtful; an all-around great guy. They love each other, and just moved in together. Things are better than Willow could have imagined possible. Sasha says, then talk to him, but Willow says, they’re good, and it’s so soon to get this real. She doesn’t want to mess it up. Sasha says she’s talking to the queen of mess. She can’t believe Michael stood by her. She constantly has to remind herself that she deserves the second chance he’s giving her. She’s glad for herself, and Willow. If Willow is pregnant, the father is a good man who loves her, and will love their child. They’ll make it work, because that’s what parents do, but the first step is finding out. She tells Willow, just get it done, and Willow says, okay. Don’t go anywhere.
At the hospital, Julian tells Chase that they won’t let him see his son. Chase says Lucas is in surgery, and Brad is in the trauma center. He’s going to question Brad as soon as he’s able. Julian asks why Lucas is in surgery. What’s wrong? Chase says Julian saw the car. The driver’s side sustained the most damage.
Willow comes back out, and Sasha says, well? What do the results say?
Jax tells Carly that she’s right. Maybe it wasn’t so smart to ask for a slice of pie. She thanks him, and he says he really wanted to see Josslyn. She tells him, text next time, and make sure Josslyn is there. he ask if he’s welcome there when she’s home, and Carly says he’s welcome anytime, for Josslyn’s sake. And for Josslyn’s sake, wrap things up with Nikolas. Turn him in or out, but get it over with.
Sonny is flattered that Curtis thinks he has it figured out, but after all these years, he and Carly are still a work in progress. Curtis says they’re still together; they’re doing something right. Sonny says they always have each other’s backs, and Curtis says he and Jordan have that covered. Sonny says it’s important to communicate. Hear each other; not just what’s said, but what isn’t said. Curtis says, secrets, and Sonny says, not good. He doesn’t care what it is or who you’re trying to protect. It always creates distance.
Alexis tells Neil that she thought they were done with hospitals. Kristina is sorry this happened, and Alexis says, they’re done with this. She’s okay, and they’re all together. That’s all that matters. Kristina thinks they’re due a vacation, as long as it’s not a road trip. Alexis asks, what about the car that saved her life? She wants to know who was in it, and are they okay?
Chase tells Julian to have a seat, but Julian says he’s waiting for word on his son. Chase says, and his son’s husband, but Julian says, Brad sounds like he’s in better shape. He wants word the surgery went okay. Chase says the one upside is, it’s the only thing that saved Alexis. Don’t worry. He’ll get to the bottom of all this.
Jordan walks around the crash site. An officer tells her that the casualties from the second car are at GH, and she says, from the angle of impact, they were going fast. He asks what she’s looking for, and she says she’s wondering why she’s not finding anything.
Tomorrow (hopefully), Willow tells Sasha if she’s pregnant, Carly asks what the hell happened, Ava asks how Nikolas can be there if he’s dead, and Jax wonders what Valentin did with Hayden.
The Real Housewives of Orange County
We backtrack a wee bit, where Tamra told Kelly to perform a sexual act money, because that’s what Kelly does best. Way to be a Christian, Tamra! Kelly tells Gina that she went low because she wanted Tamra to stop talking. We flash back to Shannon telling Kelly that Tamra was just repeating something she’d heard. Gina tells Kelly that Tamra has had her back. Kelly agrees that Tamra does, but then she does underhanded things to put stuff out there. In Kelly’s interview, she says her heart is broken. She thought Tamra was her friend, and now Tamra has become her foe. Where am I? King Arthur’s court? Braunwyn thinks if Kelly sits down with Tamra, one on one, they can talk it out, but right now Kelly should let it sit. Tamra comes back, and Kelly says she owes Tamra an apology, but she felt pushed. She hugs Tamra, and Tamra says she doesn’t know what she did. She was sticking up for Kelly, and felt betrayed. Kelly says she wanted Tamra to shut up. Tamra says when she was sitting with Shannon, she’d told Shannon that the others had been bashing Kelly. Shannon and Vicki repeated things they’d heard, and it made sound like Kelly was being abusive. We flash back to the tea party where Shannon suggested Kelly had been in a bar fight, and Vicki saying she’d heard Kelly pushed her mom down the stairs. Tamra says, then Braunwyn said Kelly and Brian had a fight in front of his son. She walked away from the conversation; she said it was bullsh*t. Kelly wishes Tamra could understand her point-of-view, and Tamra says she wishes Kelly had called and asked her about it. In Tamra’s interview, she says, Kelly doesn’t understand the damage that was done. It’s a stress on her household, and it’s draining her bank account. It’s going to affect them for years. Ever on top of things, Vicki asks, what’s going on? and if they’re going to Key West.
Braunwyn and Vicki decide to drive. In Shannon’s interview, she says Kelly needs to stay away from her. it’s insane. Braunwyn tells Kelly, that was good.
Vicki drives one car, with Shannon, Tamra, and Braunwyn drives the other, with Emily, Gina, and Kelly. Tamra passes out cat sunglasses – the white framed, black lensed ones like Barbie wears – and scarves to her car. In her interview, she says, convertibles aren’t practical, and they don’t want tragic hair. Emily looks at them, and says, it’s the geriatric version of Thelma and Louise. They all say, bye, Miami, and head out.
Vicki tells the others that the woman Kelly fought in the bar has been sending her pictures. In Vicki’s interview, she says she saw Instagram photos of the woman’s hand, and was mortified. In Tamra’s interview, she says, nothing good is going to come out of trying to make another person look bad. Stop digging for dirt. Kelly gets car sick, and Braunwyn has to pull over. It starts to rain, and she puts the top up. I recognize the road they’re on, having been to Miami several times.
Braunwyn gets to their waterfront villa first, and they’re met with welcome (I think) piña coladas, and the manager gives them a tour. Vicki pulls up, and they’re told the other ladies have arrived. Braunwyn tells them that they’re going to a drag club tonight. In her interview, she says she’s always wanted to go to a drag show in Key West. Her drag name would be Bosoms Galore, and they all know what her talent would be. Everyone gets changed for the evening. Tamra asks if the villas connect, and the manager says their friends are next door. Tamra wonders if the others are still their friends.
Gina and Emily do their makeup. Emily says Vicki started talking to the chick Kelly was fighting with. Gina wonders why, since she thought they were cool. They need to tell Vicki that’s effed up, and they should tell Kelly. Emily says Kelly will tell them to go screw themselves. Gina says Kelly is going to murder Vicki.
Kelly calls Jolie, and tells her that Vicki is there. Jolie says she hates Vicki, and Kelly says she does too, but she has to be nice to her. In Kelly’s interview, she says she wants to make it easy and be the better person. She doesn’t want to be enemies or friends with Vicki; she just wants to be neutral. Vicki asks Shannon if she’s sure she wants to do the drag thing, and suggests they put on face masks and stay home. Shannon says she doesn’t want to miss anything. In Shannon’s interview, she says, Kelly crossed the line. She has no interest in connecting with her. Let Kelly have her fun, and she’ll have her own. Vicki says she’s tired, and she hates being the oldest.
Kelly, Gina, and Emily wait. In Kelly’s interview, she says the most annoying thing is waiting for Tamra, Shannon, and Vicki to get themselves together. It’s not that hard. Gina suggests they leave, and let the others catch up, and they get in a taxi. In her interview, Gina says she’s expecting a lot of sequins, a lot of makeup, and big hair. Basically, everything she sees at home on Long Island. Mama is coming home. At Drag Asylum, the first thing we see is a chandelier of heels, and I’m in. It looks like a blast. They watch the shows and make it rain.
On the way there, Shannon asks where the parade is. Vicki says, that’s New Orleans, but Shannon says David said there was a parade when he was there, and she needs to know where. In Shannon’s interview, Shannon says, when David called, he told her there were parades in the streets, and clearly this was a crazy town. Tamra asks if it’s bothering Shannon. In her interview, Shannon says she doesn’t need to emerge saying she conquered Key West. Her divorce is final, she’s happier than she’s been, and she’s thankful it’s over. Tamra tells Shannon that she’s a divorced rich bitch now, and Shannon says she’s going to get there on her own.
The MC asks, who’s celebrating something? and the women offer up Gina, who just got out of jail and divorced. Gina says it’s rock bottom, and all up from there. The MC tells everyone to make some noise. In Gina’s interview, she says if she was a drag queen, she’d be something fancy and over-the-top, like Georgina la Croix. In Vicki’s interview, she says she doesn’t understand it; boys dressing like girls, girls dressing like boys. Sorry, drags. What? In Shannon’s interview, she says, the vibe seems to be okay between Kelly and Vicki. Let’s learn from this. If you sit in a line, you don’t have to sit next to people you don’t want to.
They move on to a bar with a pool table. Gina talks to Tamra about Vicki being in communication with that girl. Kelly asks Vicki about long term insurance. In her interview, Kelly says she wants to come at Vicki with love and kindness, instead of being combative. Shannon approaches Tamra, and says she doesn’t think it’s cool that Vicki is talking to that girl. Gina thinks Kelly should know about it. In Gina’s interview, she says you can’t know information like that and not say anything. It’s like how if you know a crime is about to be committed, and don’t say anything, you’re guilty too. Not quite, but I get the point she’s trying to make. Gina says she’s going to tell Vicki that she loves her, but it’s bad for her to be talking to that girl. Tamra says, just tell her, and Gina does, and Vicki asks why Gina is getting involved. Shannon decides to enlighten Kelly about what’s going on behind her back. In Shannon’s interview, she says this is going to emerge into a fight. She wants to let Kelly know now, before a bomb turns into a nuke. She’s going to be the a-hole. She tells Kelly what’s going on, and in Kelly’s interview, she says, this has nothing to do with Vicki. Get a life.
Vicki says Gina and Emily aren’t involved, and Emily suggests Vicki and Kelly take it outside if they’re going to flip out. Braunwyn says, it’s nobody’s business. In Vicki’s interview, she says she’s physically scared of Kelly. Kelly has a track record. She’s heard – she doesn’t want to repeat rumors – that Kelly’s had altercations with a lot of people. Kelly says Vicki hurts people, and Vicki says she’s the one who got hurt. Kelly says she’s getting sued. She’s a con woman. Kelly says, it’s all in public domain, and proof that Vicki is a bad woman. Vicki tells Kelly not to get involved in her business. In Vicki’s interview, she says, it’s all over the news that she committed fraud, but she didn’t. The insurance company went out of business. She couldn’t pay a claim, and an 82-year-old’s daughter is suing her. Kelly asks why Vicki wants to hurt her, and Vicki says she doesn’t. They trade insults, and Vicki calls Kelly a slut. Tamra says, that is not okay. In Gina’s interview, she says Vicki wants to call out someone for being single and living their life. She doesn’t care how many trains are coming to town. Vicki starts screeching – one of the things I hate most about this show – that she never conned anyone. She was conned. Kelly calls Vicki a liar. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says she imagined laying out, and maybe flirting with the cabana boy, but she probably should have known better. Vicki decides to leave.
Walking with Vicki and Tamra, Shannon says, that was a disaster, and she started it. Inside, Kelly admits to being a bitch. She tried being cool, but.. Gina says she effed up, and Kelly starts to cry. She wonders why she’s being attacked. It’s making matters worse. Emily says she’s done with Vicki, and Gina says it’s a horrifying violation of their truce. Tamra asks what Gina’s motivation was, and Shannon says it was her. She volunteered because she wanted to say it in a nicer way. Vicki tells them not to put Kelly near her, and Tamra asks what happened at the end. Vicki says she called Kelly a slut, but Kelly called her a con woman. She’s not a con woman – she starts the screeching – or a liar She’s never conned anyone. She was conned. In Tamra’s interview, she says she hasn’t seen Vicki scream like this since the Brooks days. We flash back to Vicki screeching at the Bunko party and the ski trip.
Gina thinks it’s going to be a hat day, and asks Emily if they’re going on the tiki thing. It’s a floating bar, and Emily is hoping they have more than one, or she might have to jump ship. Shannon uses some kind of electric neti-pot, and it’s disgusting. Tamra watches her, then says she’ll never be able to erase that from her head. Neither will I, but it was on my TV. Tamra could have walked out of the room at any time.
Kelly says it’s copacetic when it’s just the four of them. Who calls someone a slut at forty years old? In her interview, Kelly wonders why they’re after her, and Emily says Vicki thought she had the situation under wraps. She had no idea Tamra told them. Shannon just said something because they brought it up. If they hadn’t said it was wrong, Shannon never would have told Kelly. Kelly says, calculated.
Tamra tells Vicki the tiki bar looks like fun, and asks if VIcki can stay on a different side than Kelly. Vicki says she has no desire to hurt Kelly, and we flash back to Vicki crying and apologizing to Kelly. Tamra tells her, stay away from Kelly. Let it resolve itself. Vicki asks if she should apologize, but Tamra thinks says, let it run it’s course. Let it be.
They get in jeep, and a driver takes them to the floating tiki bars. Shannon, Gina, and Vicki get on one, and Tamra (in a surprise move), Emily, Braunwyn, and Kelly get in another. The Squeaky Tiki, driven by Gary, who tells them that they’ll be going to a sandbar. The water will be knee to waist deep. They mix their own drinks, which seems more dangerous than being on a floating bar. Vicki asks what they do to whoop it up there, and the bartender is clueless as to what whoop it up is. He’s never heard of it. In Gina’s interview, she says she’s put in the worst water situation every trip. We flash back to Gina not getting along with water. She says, there are so many good bars that are perfectly adequate on land. Vicki talks about having a destination wedding
Kelly asks, what’s wrong with Vicki? Kelly is suing her; she has all the evidence. Tamra says she’ll apologize, and they stop for a swim break. Braunwyn thinks she was stung by a jellyfish, and yells for them to get out of the water. Shannon says it’s not a jellyfish, but Kelly is already pushing Emily up the ladder, and back on the boat.
Tamra tells Vicki that she talked to Kelly, and told her that Vicki would say she’s sorry Kelly asks why everyone is talking about her. She just wants them to stop. Kelly says, loud enough for all to hear, Michael just wrote that he’s got a lot of dirt on Vicki, and her engagement is going to implode in about two seconds. Vicki says Kelly is a terrible person, and asks why Kelly can’t be happy for her. Kelly yells that she’s talking to Michael, and calls Vicki an effing pig, and causing everyone to go, whoa. In Emily’s interview, she says it’s mean to attack Vicki’s looks. Attack her character. It sucks. Vicki gives Kelly the finger, and says, eff you. In Gina’s interview, she says some people have no respect for other people on vacation who just want to have a good time. Play nice in the sandbox, bitches. Shannon apologizes for the drama on their way out.
Vicki asks if she looks like a pig. Tamra says, no, and Shannon tells her to stop it. They find a cake and champagne waiting in their villa, compliments of the hotel. The cake says, congratulations, Vicki. Tamra thinks they should sing, and they fumble through happy engagement to you. They toast, and Tamra suggests they let things die down. It was a perfect example of how Kelly can’t control her anger.
Kelly tells Braunwyn, she lost her cool. Braunwyn says she doesn’t have to fight this fight. She doesn’t have to get upset. Her character is going to come through. She’s a good friend.
Gina asks Emily what they’re going to do, and Emily says they should go to dinner, but it can’t be a group dinner. Kelly and Vicki can’t be in the same room. Gina thinks no matter what group they go with, it will cause more problems. Gina calls Tamra, and say she’s going out with Braunwyn, Emily, and Kelly, and then she’ll see them.
The four go to a restaurant, and Braunwyn orders loaded fries. Emily says, make it two. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says she’s sick of talking about feelings and each other. She wants to drown her sorrows in processed cheese. Braunwyn says she’s a nice person, and gives lot of leeway, and Kelly says she doesn’t. She tried to be on her best behavior. Her plan was to not engage. Emily says she gets a C minus. Kelly says she goes low, and Braunwyn asks, why? Kelly thinks it’s when she gets ganged up on. She had a lot of cousins, and they fought to win. She has an anger problem. Emily says Kelly gets wounded, and feels vulnerable. Kelly says she learned to be vindictive from her family. She thought going low was winning. In her interview, Kelly remembers getting a present for a friend, and her mom getting in a fight with the lady behind the counter when she didn’t wrap it right. We’re products of our environment. Kelly says she needs to be stronger. She feels stupid, taking the bait. Emily says she was hurt, and Kelly says, at least she can recognize her shortcomings. Braunwyn says they’re all a work in progress, and growing.
Gina joins the Tres Blonde Amigas at another restaurant. In Gina’s interview, she says she likes hanging out with them because they make her laugh. Their antics are always fun and adventurous. Vicki asks if Gina would ever move back to New York, and Gina says no, but her heart is there. She moved across the country for Matt. Tamra asks how that worked for her, but thinks Gina should give it another chance. Shannon says, but… and Tamra says she’s seen pictures of Gina with him, and there’s a light in her eyes. Gina says she knows something happened, and if she committed to him again, he’d never cheat again. Shannon’s head whips around, and Gina says, he gets it. Tamra asks why Shannon is rolling her eyes – clearly not being able to read body language. Shannon says she didn’t. In Shannon’s interview, she says she knows the devastation she went through when she thought she and David were back together, and they weren’t. That’s when she spiraled, with her weight and emotions. She doesn’t want Gina to go through the same pain. Shannon says she knew that too, but David still checked out. Gina says she doesn’t think Matt will check out. Vicki says he won’t if it’s a happy home, and Shannon says she takes offense to that. She was willing to do whatever, and it wasn’t that she didn’t have a happy home. Vicki says she checked out with Don. Gina says she always gives in to Matt, and Shannon tells her, wait it out. If he’s serious, he’ll make a move back home. Vicki says, time will tell. Her mom told her that she’d always end up where she’s supposed to end up. Tamra says, as soon as the arguments affect the children, it’s time to go. Shannon says, the bottom line is, if you’re fighting at home, they know what’s happening. Their kids wrote texts to them saying don’t think they’re not screwed up because they heard them screaming at each other, and Sophie is writing a book about a kid’s perspective on divorce. In Shannon’s interview, she thinks her kids have witnessed things they shouldn’t have – we flash back to the kids basically pointing out how unhappy things are – and they’ll probably knock on her door one day, telling her how screwed up they are. She’s been trying to give them a normal life without all the chaos. Shannon announces that it’s 11 pm. They haven’t been out until then since they got to Florida. They all make toasts, and screech together.
At the villa, Kelly suggests she and Braunwyn put on their PJs, and watch a movie.
Tamra wants dance at the bar. They order tequila shots, and Vicki says, let’s whoop it up, into the bar microphone. Shannon says her biggest goal tonight is to keep the smile on her face, and keep having fun.
Emily goes to bed.
Vicki drinks directly from the beer tap at the bar.
The other girls go to bed.
Back at the villa, Tamra does a cannonball into the pool. In her interview, Shannon rates the trip a good nine to ten. In her villa. They all jump around in the pool, until they hear security coming, and they jet. Tamra scrambles around for her clothes, and some random dude runs through the scene. On the walkway, Vicki slips in her heels, and the mood suddenly changes when they realize she’s really hurt. In Tamra’s interview, she says Vicki is the clumsiest person she’s ever met. We flash back, and it looks like Tamra is right. I’d forgotten that Vicki ended up in the hospital a couple of times on vacation too. Shannon says they need to go to the hospital, and the ambulance comes. Tamra and Shannon quickly get dressed, and come along.
In the ambulance, Vicki screeches.
Next time, a shark, Vicki is just as clumsy on crutches, and Kelly and Emily have a consult with a guru or something.
💋 A Little Less Emily…
Not that she wasn’t stunning to begin with.
I have a way for her to lose even more weight. Get rid of Shane.
🎪 I Love a Good Con…
Not the Vicki kind either. This is a great summation of what a fan festival is like.
🍗 And If You Don’t Want To Let Go Either…
Or perhaps live in Port Charles, where it’s still Thanksgiving.
🎄 And So It Begins…
The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting will be on NBC at 7 pm, Wednesday, December 4th. Another thing you’re better off watching on TV. It’s too crowded to breathe there. In the meantime, enjoy some lights of a Christmas season gone by.