Tag Archives: fantasy

June 16, 2019 – John Demonstrates the San Antonio Split, a Legend Passes, a Movie Recommended, Sunday Night TV & Beach Break


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Fear the Walking Dead

Alicia pikes zombies, while Luci circles X’s on a map. John knifes zombies in the head, and June cuts through the rope between them. Alicia gets Morgan on the radio. She tells him she’s by the turnaround. John says, there’s nothing new, but they’re keeping their eyes peeled. Luci says the roadblocks form a pattern, and John says they’ll figure out a way in. Morgan loses the signal. Luci says something about a gas station, but starts to break up. John and June come across another chain of zombies blocking the road. He says, these kinds of warnings mean serious people are on the other side. June says they’re serous people. John thinks the chances of finding Al are less and less as time goes on. Shots are fired at them, and John and June run back to the car. John says they don’t want any trouble. They manage to get inside the car, but the back window is shot out. John wonder who the hell that is, and Jun says, serious people. John says they need more firepower. Their luck just turned again.

Zombies climb a windmill tower. Tumbleweeds blow through a Western-type ghost zombie town. John and June get out of the car. She asks what this place is, and John says, his old stomping grounds. Welcome to the Gulch.

A sign says, welcome to Humbug’s Gulch. John thinks there might be a dust storm coming. June ask if he used to work there, but the wind is so loud, I don’t hear what he says, but the town is basically a tourist thing that had actors; not a real town. They come to a building that says Brothel, and John says this is where they find the weapons. The wind blew them where they needed to be. June asks if it ever blows somewhere else, and he says, no. They go inside, and upstairs. John tries a cabinet, but it’s locked. While he messes with the lock, June looks through a rack of clothes. John gets ready to shoot the lock, telling June it’s his last round, but she sees a key on the dresser. He opens the cabinet, which is full of guns and ammo. June thinks they’re good.

Alicia asks Luci how she’s doing, and if she can move her arm yet. She can’t, and Alicia apologizes for what happened. Luci says there are words and actions, and they took action. Alicia says they crashed a plane, but Luci doesn’t regret getting on it. Alicia tries to radio the kids, and tells them if they can hear her, get back to the van. Alicia hears Annie saying not to talk; they’ll hear. Alicia says they want to help, and Annie asks what’s wrong with her? Leave them alone. Alicia asks where are they? and Annie tells her, if she says, they’ll find them. Alicia asks, who? and Annie tells Dylan to hide. They’re cut off. Alicia says they can’t leave.

June radios Morgan and Luci, but gets nothing. She asks John how long thees things last. He thinks they can make it to the car if they hurry. She asks what it’s like if you get stuck in it. What if they don’t make it? He says it’s like midnight, and you can’t breathe. Maybe they should wait it out. He says they can load up in the meantime. He starts looking for things they can use, while June has a beer and some snacks. She picks up a Western show program, and asks if he was a good or a bad guy. He says he didn’t get into theatrics; his talent was trick shooting. She asks about the different tricks listed in the program, but he ignores her. He says they can’t just wait here. June says they can’t help if they don’t make back, but John says they can, and they go back out.

Someone starts to shoot, and they duck behind a building. John yells, hold your fire! They see the tires have been shot out on the car. Someone at the end of the street continues to shoot at them, and John shoots back. He and June run. Getting distracted by a Wanted poster, John turns back, and finds a gun in his face. It’s Dwight from The Walking Dead. He says, where is she? Answer him. June comes up behind Dwight, and clonks him in the head. John thanks her, calling her June Bug, and she says, not yet. They have to get him inside.

An unconscious Dwight is tied to a chair. John says whoever he’ looking for, he’s been at it some time. He looks through Dwight’s stuff. He says that’s a helluva burn, and asks if June thinks he had it before/ He’s all worn down looking for some woman. Maybe he cracked, and got confused. If he’s a killer, he’s in no shape to kill anyone. June says he’s someone who genuinely needs their help. They notice the wind has died down, and zombies are gathering. John says even if they pick them off, they’ll attract more attention, and eventually run out of ammo. Dwight starts to wake up, and John tells him, easy. June says it’s okay. Dwight tells John not to touch his stuff. John says they don’t mean him any harm. He asks who Dwight is looking for, and June says she has to treat his wound. John says whoever he’s looking for must be important for him to point a gun at Johns’ head. June reminds Dwight that they could have left him out there. John says they’re looking for someone too. They can compare notes, not trade shots. He asks if Dwight knows who’s responsible for blocking the roads, or what’s on the other side. He thinks whoever Dwight was looking for might have been trying to get away from some bad people. June says they just want to help, and Dwight says they can’t. No one can. The whole place is screwed.

Dylan tells Alicia that they’re near the fireworks stand. Morgan says he can’t raise John and June on the radio. Alicia says she knows what she should have said to those kids. Alicia and Luci hear a bang, and they run off the road. Morgan asks if they’re okay. Alicia gets out. She sees that one of the tires is flat, and she’s run over a board that has nails sticking out of it. Luci says, someone doesn’t want them there. Alicia says that’s means they’re getting closer. Morgan tells them stay where they are. He’s coming. Alicia tries to call the kids, but gets no response. She tells Luci, let’s go. Morgan will catch up.

Zombies claw at the door, and John says, it can only hold for so long. June asks if there’s another way out, and he says, the roof, but then they need to hoof it out of town. Dwight says his car is at the end of the street. He’ll give them the keys, and they can take it. Go. John says he’s coming with them, but Dwight says he can’t. He put a gun to John’s head. John says maybe he’s being presumptuous, but it seems Dwight has been separated from someone as dear to him, as June is to John. They didn’t always have the good fortune to be together, and John went to a dark place. He shot a man’s finger off because he thought the man knew what happened to June. If he hadn’t found her, he might have done something worse. Although the guy was a disagreeable a-hole. They can help each other. Who is he looking for? Dwight says, his wife; her name is Shari. Dwight, John, and June introduce themselves. John shakes Dwight’s hand. Dwight says if he can have his gun back, he promises to point it at something other than them. June says he’s going to need it.

They get the player piano going, and slip upstairs. Attracted by the music, the zombies bust in, and more pour in from outside. June, John, and Dwight go out the windows above the awning, which isn’t too steady. Dwight jumps down, and John is like, what? Dwight rolls around on the ground for a moment, and shoots a zombie. He tells John, get to the car. John drops down, and June keeps watch. Dwight tells John that he calls the zombies walkers. June runs to where there’s a wagon below, filled with laundry bags. She jumps into it. Dwight chops a zombie in the head with an ax. You can tell he’s in a lot of pain. John and June head for the car. These zombies are kind of fast. Dwight hesitates, and then goes in the other direction. June and John get in car, and June asks where Dwight is.

He’s sitting in the car John and June came in. He pulls all kinds of paperwork and maps out from behind the visors, and out of the glovebox, obviously looking for something. Zombies start to clamor at windows, and Dwight is like, sh*t. John calls him on the radio. Dwight picks up the walkie-talkie, and John asks what the car has to do with Dwight’s wife. Dwight says that’s why he came at them. It was her car. He tells John that they should go. He’s gotten them in enough trouble. John tells him, stay calm. He looks at the back of a car registration, where West on 30 is written. He says when his wife moves to a new place, she leaves him a message. He thought he’d find one in the car. The last one was on a registration, but there’s nothing in there. It’s been at least a year, and there have been a lot of dead ends. He asks where they found the car, and John says, it was at a campground. Dwight says, tell him, and June takes the walkie-talkie. She says, there wasn’t anybody there alive, but that doesn’t mean she’s not out there. She and John were somewhere else. Dwight looks at his gun, but I figure he’s not going to shoot himself, since they took the trouble of transferring him to this show.

Dwight tells them, go, but June says they’re not leaving him like this. He says he’ll get through, and John says they’ll find her. He found June. Everybody said she was dead. Dwight says he’s gone halfway across the country, and he’s always two or three steps behind. He thought maybe she just got a head start or he missed a message or two, but now he starting to see it. June says he doesn’t think he deserves to find her. He says he’s not like them. He did things… things they can’t imagine. June says, they all have. Dwight says he’s still doing things. He tried to kill them because he thought maybe they’d done something to her, but they didn’t. There was nothing to find, and he might have killed them for nothing. It doesn’t matter if he’s alive or dead; he’s never going to find her and make it right/ That’s who he is now. June says, just don’t be that person. Giving up is just as bad… John tries stop her, but she says, he needs to hear this. He’s giving up because he thinks he doesn’t deserve his wife. She did the same thing; she ran from John. Dwight says, this is different, but June says, it’s not different. John almost got killed finding her. Shari is still out there, and if he’s choosing to believe she is, that looks like she hasn’t given up. And if she hasn’t, how can he? The cluster of zombies scrabbles at the windows and drools, looking at Dwight inside the car. Dwight cries a little, and says he can’t get back to them. He won’t be able to. John says, leave that to them.

Alicia asks if the kids copy. She and Luci walk down the road, and Morgan pulls up with a truck. He says, anything? and Alicia says, either they don’t want to answer, or they can’t. Morgan says, they could still be listening, so keep trying. Talk to them. She radios, saying she has to tell them something she should have told when she was with them. She lost her mom and her brother. She knows how much they’re hurting, and how scared they must be. Not because she’s been there, but because she’s there now, and wants them to know they don’t have to do it alone. If they’re listening, tell her where they are. Her group can help. The kids might not believe it, but she promises if given a chance, they will. She gets silence. Morgan nods. Alicia says, let’s go.

John sets down his bag, and takes up his rifle, and June backs him up. John starts shooting, and says, come to me. Dwight shoots a few zombies through the back window. John keeps shooting, taking out a handgun with his other hand. June’s gun won’t work, so she whacks a zombie with the butt of the gun.  John keeps shooting. Dwight gets out of the car, and uses the butt of his gun to hack a zombie in the forehead, but the zombie falls on him, and he’s pinned. What’s left of the zombie crowd around his car notices. John runs to June, who says she has one shot left. He grabs her gun and tells Dwight, raise the ax; hold it. He shoots the ax head, and the bullet ricochets off, killing the two zombies closest to Dwight. He frees Dwight from the zombie trapping him, and tells June, that’s a San Antonio split. They help Dwight up, and John says that’s only the second time he pulled that off.

Inside, John looks through Dwight’s stuff from the car, while Dwight carves a message into the wall. John says it wasn’t her car. The VIN number on the registration doesn’t match the car. She could be out there, or left a message in the car she was actually driving. John says he used to be cop. Law enforcement is a thing of the past now, but he’s trained. It serves a purpose once in a while. Dwight thanks him.

John tells June that he went by Six Gun Sam when he occasionally took part in theatrics. She kisses him. and he thanks her for what she said to Dwight. She says, he needed to hear it, and John says, he did too. He’d been questioning what he has, and why he deserves it. He couldn’t share his feelings, and by doubting it, he was taking it away from them, and neither one of them wants that. Morgan arrives with Luci and Alicia.

Morgan asks, what is this place? and John says he used to work in a place like this. He didn’t know the dividends were going to pay. Dwight comes out, and says, Morgan? June says, they know each other? Morgan says they come from the same place. Dwight tells Morgan that he’s following Shari. When her trail hit Georgia, everything seemed to drive her this way. He wants Morgan to understand what happened, but Morgan tells him that he doesn’t have to say it. Not now. He knows how it ended for Dwight. They’re all trying to start over. Morgan asks how long Dwight’s been stuck there, and Dwight says, longer than he’d hoped. Alicia asks if he knows what’s keeping them away with the blockades of the dead. He says he’s only been able to go so far. He can show them.

They go to where some dead are chained together as a blockade. Dwight says he tried to make his way around them, but they’re strung up everywhere. It’s as far as you can walk. Alicia says, not for long, and they all take out their guns. Alicia’s radio comes alive. It’s Max, and Alicia says the group came for them. They’ll be okay. He says they got the message, and they’re on their way to them. They’re at the truck stop. Everyone stops what they’re doing, and they leave.

Alicia smiles, and says, it’s starting to feel like they’re on the right track. Morgan believes they are. Luci suddenly says, what’s that? and Morgan says, it’s the van the kids were driving. Alicia says, no.

The same kind of ropes that were tying the zombie blockades together, are wrapped around the van. They cut the ropes off, and find a blood-covered Dylan lying on the backseat, barely conscious. Alicia asks where Max and Annie are.

Elsewhere in the woods, someone ties up a zombie, and checks out a map. Annie asks Max if he thinks they bought it, and he says, definitely. She says, Dylan might crack, or they might figure out why they’re here, and who took their friend. Annie says they have to make sure they’re never bothered again. She says he sounds scared, but he insists he isn’t. They leave, having put together another zombie blockade.

Next time, Victor uncovers a plane, the cat still lives, and Victor tells someone to open the gate.

🐩 Come On, Baby, Do It For Mama…

I would be remiss in not mentioning this week’s passing of an amazing actress. Midnight Cowboy is one of my favorite movies ever, and I love the story about Maureen Stapleton thinking Sylvia was a real hooker.

On her passing:


Her life in her words:


📡 Although it will never happen, I try to get my money’s worth of the too much I spend per month on the 500+ channels, most of which I don’t watch. This weekend, I was able to catch The Hate U Give on HBO. I don’t really review films, but it’s worth seeing. It’s well-written and thought provoking, the acting is superb, and the end both heart- breaking and hopeful. Catch it while U can.

💍 I’m loving the insanity that is the 90 Day Fiancé franchise, even though I have to watch in bits and pieces, due to FWD and NOS4ATU competing on Sunday night. If you haven’t seen the latter, it’s another brilliant piece of work, and Zachery Quinto is scary as hell. My favorite thing about 90 this season is the addition of Pillow Talk, where the nicer people who have been on the show (there are some couples, but also friends and relations), watch the episodes featuring the worst couples, and comment on them. I literally lol my way through it every week. The only thing I like more than watching TV, is watching someone else watch TV. I’m not sure what that says about me…

🌴 A Mini Mental Vacation…

Hoping all the father’s out there had a wonderful Father’s Day, and the rest of you had a weekend filled with whatever takes your fancy. Alas, Monday morning and work come all too quickly, so enjoy the beach on me. Just ignore that dude with the dark sunglasses.

June 2, 2019 – Trying To Help, a Little Talk, Some Tyrion Love, Another Go For Eva, Feuding Shahs, Dorinda Radio & Exit


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Fear the Walking Dead

Older kid Max is trying to teach little kid Dylan how to shoot. Dylan shoots at a deer, and it runs. They follow it, finding it dead. A zombie comes out of the woods, and I hope they get eaten. Max says they can get out, but his gun jams. Instead of running, he keeps trying.

A small plane flies low, and the zombie gets chopped in half, but you know how determined they are. It keeps moving. The kids see flames in the clearing, and find the plane has crashed. Zombies are popping out of everywhere now, but Max isn’t real bright, and keeps trying get the gun to work instead of getting the hell out of there. A zombie gets close, but it’s suddenly down. Alicia says they’re here to help, and she gets cracking on that.

Max and Dylan find Morgan hanging upside down in the plane. A zombie nearly gets him, but he gets out. Max asks, who are you people? and Morgan says they came to help. Are they the Logans? Max asks, who? Alicia says they can’t stay long. Luci has been impaled by a metal pipe in the plane. John and Morgan call for June, who’s semi-conscious in the cockpit. Morgan asks Dylan to put pressure on Luci’s wound, and keep her from moving. He’s going to make sure nothing out there gets inside. Max asks, what if it does? and Morgan says, if it’s dead, shoot it.

A zombie pokes at June’s face. She calls to Al, who regains consciousness. Alicia is outside, whacking zombies right and left, and almost hits Morgan. He tells her, easy, and points out that her hands are covered in blood. Al and June unbuckle themselves, and John sees through the window that they’re okay. Morgan says they’re about ten to fifteen miles from the touchdown site; they’ll make it. Alicia takes a zombie’s head off.

Morgan asks if Logan copies, and says they’re coming, but it might take longer than they thought. Alicia starts setting up something, pounding stakes into the ground. John helps June and Al get out of the plane. Al radios Victor, telling him the plane crashed. There’s a tape back at the mill labeled skidmark, and It will explain how to fly a small plane. They need him to come get them. It looks like he’ll fly after all. She can’t hear Victor, and John says he must be out of range. He helps her out of the plane.

Where did all these zombies come from? is a good question. Morgan and Alicia get busy knocking them off. Dylan tells Luci that they’re friends, and help is coming. June runs in to attend to Luci. Alicia falls, and sees a sign that says, Radiation Area. John asks how Luci is, and June says tells him that they have to cut her free, but the boxes with supplies are scattered everywhere. Al and John look through everything for a hacksaw, as Al’s camera records.

Al is grabbed by a zombie in a Darth Vader-ish mask, and matching suit made out of puffer material. She pushes him back, and impales him through the back on a pipe. She grabs her camera and films. John shows her the hacksaw, and they go back to where Luci is. John cuts at the pipe piercing Luci to get her free, and she screams. John says they need a clear path. June says they’ll make it work, and Morgan says they can do this. Alicia says she’ll lead, and Morgan will take the side. She tells the boys to stay in the middle, and watch their backs. Now.

A truck comes toward them, running right over some zombies. The teenage girl driving tells them to get in. Max says it’s their sister, Annie.

In the truck, Morgan says he hates flying anyway. June says, the dead are everywhere, but Annie says the dead are the least of their problems. They have no idea where they landed, do they?

In a truck, Charlie asks Victor if he’s sure Al said skidmark. In another truck, Sarah asks Wendell if he’s up for this. He says he is, and she tells him, he said that the last time. He insists he’s sure.

Alicia asks, what happened? and Anna says they don’t know. They just stay away from them. Dylan asks if Al is a pilot, and she says, no. He says, no wonder they crashed, but John says it would have been worse if she hadn’t done what she did. Max asks if Logan is part of their crew. John says, no; just someone they’re helping. Annie says, he’s probably dead. They screech to a stop. Al thinks he just got into trouble, and Max says they can’t go around helping people they don’t know. Morgan says, they did, but Max says, they didn’t feel like they had a choice. Morgan says neither do they. Annie asks, why? and Morgan says they try to do what they can to make things better. She tells him, good luck with that. This place is worse than it seems. Alicia asks what she means, and Annie says, it’s not just signs. It’s the… she’ll see.

They drive until they see some zombies tethered together across the road. They get out, and see a tree with zombie heads hanging from it by their hair. Al asks Annie if they did this. Annie says, no, but they’re all over the place. June says they need to keep moving, but Annie says she’s not driving into that. Morgan says they’ll walk. It’s something they have to do. Annie says they don’t know the guy, but Morgan says they’ve been doing this for a while; helping people. They haven’t had a whole lot of luck. Annie asks what he means, and Al says, people are either dead, missing, or don’t want to be found. Logan and his people were the first who do. Annie says, it better be worth it, and tells them, get in. Morgan thanks her.

They get to the truck stop, and Alicia tells them, Logan said they were surrounded, but there’s no one there. They go inside, carrying Luci on a makeshift stretcher. Morgan calls for Logan, but there’s no answer. They set Luci on a table. John looks around outside, and checks the garages. He finds nothing. Al and June canvas the inside, but it’s dark and quiet.

Morgan finds a radio, and asks if Logan copies. They’re at the truck stop. June tells Luci, they’re going to do this. Luci says it hurts, but June says she’ll be okay. She gives John a list of supplies they need, and tells him, it’s not going to be pretty. He asks if she’s done this before, and she says, at trauma the center, but not at a truck stop. Dylan shows Luci a toy truck, and asks what it’s for. Lucy says, the man who set it up, drives a truck. Dylan wonders why he’d need toys, and Lucy says, it’s his way of giving people something to believe in. Dylan asks where he is, and Lucy says, he didn’t make it, so they tried to turn it into something more.

Morgan tells the kids that they have a place on the other side that used to be a factory. John says they had a movie night. Morgan says they were working on it. A place for people to feel safe and call home. Annie says, places like that don’t exist, and June says, they do. Morgan suggests the kids come back with them. Alicia comes back, and says, no one has been here for a long time. Al wonders if it could be another truck stop, but Alicia says, it’s the only one for miles. Morgan says they have to be there. Annie wonders what’s wrong with them? Morgan says she can trust them, and doesn’t have to be afraid. Annie tells him, that’s what people always say when there’s something to be afraid of. Morgan says, they just have to help a friend. Max picks up his gun, and Annie says, if they’re smart, they’ll get their friend and get out. They jet, but Morgan calls to them, please wait. He says they can help.

June gets ready to work on Luci. She says they won’t have much time if it starts to bleed. At the count of three… They pull the pipe out of Luci, and she screams.

A guy uses a combination to open the gate at the mill. He calls out, but no one answers. He sees a box that says, take what you need – leave what you don’t, written on it. He walks through the building, and finds a room with empty beds, and schedules on a bulletin board. He looks at a movie requests sheet, and sees a load of Al’s tapes. It’s Matt Frewer, and I suddenly get very distracted by that. I hadn’t known he was joining the cast. I assume he’s not just passing through.

Alicia says the kids were like everyone else they tried to help. She and Al lock up. A zombie stumbles out from around the corner. Alicia looks bored as she pikes it in the head.

June tells Luci that she’s very lucky. If it was off by a centimeter or they’d hit a bad bump in the car, she wouldn’t be there. Morgan continues to try the radio. He thinks something isn’t right, but Logan suddenly comes through. Morgan says he had them worried, and asks where he is. They’ll come to him. Logan says, that would be a little tricky. He’s there with his crew, looking at Morgan’s crew, and a spectacular view of the river. It’s Matt Frewer, inside the mill, while Victor and company stand outside. Logan says sees they’ve been driving the big rig with C & L on the trailer. From what he’s gathered, they’ve met the C, and he’s the L. Morgan asks why he brought them there, and Logan says he wanted what was his. It was the only way to get them far enough away, so he could slip in without a big fuss. Alicia says they found a plane and crashed it, because they wanted to help him. He says they make Clayton look like an amateur. Morgan asks where he brought them, and Logan says, a truck stop far away. He’s reclaiming what’s his. The one thing Clay said that he agreed with is, take what you need; leave what you don’t.

Victor and the others look around outside the mill. On the radio, Alicia says, don’t do this. Logan says he already did. She says she’ going to find him, and kill him herself. He says, for taking over a place where he’s the legal owner? I guess he does have a point. He says they have a more pressing quandary; her attitude. He doesn’t want to see people dead, he just wants what’s his. They want to help people? It looks like they’ll have to help themselves. Geez. Luci is sitting up already. June is good.

Sarah drinks a beer, and looks at an old ad for Jim’s brew. She says, you missed a real sh*t pie a la mode today, Jimbo. They joke’s on them. Wendell says, it tastes like vinaigrette, but she’ll get there. Charlie tells Victor she can find a way in, and Victor tells her to get the tape. He should have been on the plane today. He sure as hell is going to be on this one.

Al looks through what she recorded earlier. She takes a closer look at the zombie in the mask. She tells Morgan that she has to go back to where the plane is. There’s a story there. Morgan suggests going in the morning, but she thinks it might not be there if she waits. She knows her tapes haven’t helped them so far, but Morgan says it’s not her fault. He tells her to go and see June.

John asks June how Luci is doing. June says, she might have nerve damage, but she’ll be okay. He says look what he found, and shows her a copy of the film, It Happened One Night. She says, Clayton had good taste. John says he’ll save it for when they have people to show it to. She says, there’s a VCR in the back, but he says, let’s wait. June says, they’ll find him. John tells her that he was starting to think got all the luck in this world. They’ve survived things people don’t survive. Most people don’t have that kind of good luck. It would be a shame not to share it. They hug, and June says she didn’t think anyone could help her, not even him, until he made her believe it. So that’s what they have to do. Find a way to make other people believe it. They kiss, but John looks distressed.

Alicia stabs zombies. Can’t stop; won’t stop. Morgan says, hey, and Alicia says they could have died today. Luci almost did. The people they came for took what they had back home, and the kids ran from them. They can’t make up for the past if they’re dead. This was stupid. Morgan says, they were trying. They can’t make up for the past if they don’t try. She says her mom did so much to make sure they were standing there. Why? If they’re out there, they need to make it mean something. Morgan says he’s not done yet. It’s what they need – what he needs – because they’re not done yet. They could keep looking for the kids. Alicia says they don’t want help, but Morgan says they’ll keep trying until they do. It’s not supposed to be easy. They can’t just say they want to help and that’s it. They kill people. The things they’ve done – the things he’s done – they should be hard. Maybe that’s how they know they’re on the right track. Alicia says, it shouldn’t be this hard. Morgan says they’re still standing; they’re still here. Until they’re not, they have to keep at it. She walks off, and he walks in the other direction.

Victor looks at the skidmark tape. He sees Al’s interview with Daniel. Victor is like, what?!

It’s pouring rain, but Al goes back to the impaled zombie. She takes the mask off, and stabs him in the head. She begins to film, and finds a wire attacked to his jacket. She pulls out some kind of electrical component, and a pouch. She pulls a map out of the pouch. On the map, are the letters CRM and three circles interlinked. She radios Morgan, and says she’s back at the plane. He asks if it can wait, and she says, she was right. There’s a story there.

Someone comes up from behind, and knocks her out using a taser. It’s another guy in a mask and suit, but I don’t think he’s a zombie.

Next time, I don’t know. Either they didn’t show it or I wasn’t paying attention.

💀 I was, however, paying attention to the code word for TWD Rewards during Talking Dead. It was skidmark, and Chris Hardwick made me laugh when he cautioned viewers to enter it at the website, not Google. Yeah, I can only imagine, but don’t want to. The guests also gave a tease that the radiation sign Alicia saw would have something to do with the storyline, and how that might have affected the zombies. Chris acted like this was all fresh, but um… Z Nation addressed that issue some time ago. (Still sobbing over its cancelation.)

👃 Smelling an Emmy…

And still hanging on. Tyrion was really the only character I was invested in. Except for the dragons and direwolves.


💃 Giving It Another Try…

Eva Longoria is making another attempt at a show. I hope it works out for her. I loved Devious Maids and Telenova, but apparently the general public and/or network didn’t feel the same.


👓 I Had No Idea…

Reza and MJ are at odds again.



🏡 She’s Making It Nice…

Now if Dorinda had just had James The-White-Kanye Kennedy as a DJ, that would have made it perfect.


🐈 Making Like Snagglepuss…

Exiting stage left.

May 19, 2019 – Extra! Extra! The Final Throne, Throne Doc, New Watchmen, Throne Gossip & Not Sansa’s Cup


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Game of Thrones

Since this is the final finale, I thought it was important enough to break my usual Sunday evening routine of just watching TV unless a Dead show was on.

The aftermath of Dany’s destruction reminded me of the streets of NYC after the World Trade Center attack. Deathly quiet, with a few people wandering around looking lost. Grey Worm sentenced some surprisingly still alive soldiers to die. Jon told him it was over, but Grey Worm said it wasn’t over until the queen’s enemies were all defeated. Jon asked how much more defeated he wanted them, but Grey Worm slit their throats anyway. Tyrion found Cersei and Jaime’s bodies in the rubble, and wept. Dany was feeling herself, and praised the Dothraki for giving her the Seven Kingdoms, and made Grey Worm her commander. She told her warriors she wanted to liberate everyone from the wheel, and told Tyrion he’d committed treason by freeing Jaime. He tossed his Hand pin away like an old shoe, and got thrown in a cell for his trouble.

Arya told Jon to watch his back since Dany knew who he really was. Tyrion told Jon that he’d seen his best friend burned alive, and Varys’s ashes could soon tell his I told you so. He said everywhere Dany went, evil men died and they cheer her for it. but she was growing more powerful instead of good. Jon said, love is the death of duty, and Tyrion asked if he just came out with that. Jon said he got it from a Maester Aemon. Tyrion said, sometimes duty is the death of love, and Jon always tried to do the right thing. No matter the cost, Jon protected people. Tyrion asked who the biggest threat was now, and who was a bigger threat to her than Jon? Jon wasn’t having it, but Tyrion said Sansa told him about Jon because she didn’t want Dany to be queen. Jon said she didn’t get to choose, and Tyrion said, but Jon did, and he had to do it now. I thought I was seeing things when a huge mound of snow moved, but it was Drogon sleeping under the snow, while Dany checked out the Iron Throne. This would be the first thing I’d change since it looks so uncomfortable. At least put a pillow on it. She talked about envisioning the throne as a girl, and Jon tried to talk some sense into her, after he saw she was hellbent on finishing what she started. She told Jon the world they needed wouldn’t be built by men from the world they had, and asked Jon to build it with her; they could break the wheel together. They kissed, and he killed her by stabbing her while they kissed. The whole thing was kind of depressing. Then Jon was like, oh yeah, the dragon, as Drogon landed behind him. I wished Drogon would just fly away, because I like even CGI animals more than actual people. There was more depressing stuff as Drogon discovered Dany was dead, and he melted the Iron Throne. I thought he might melt Jon, but instead, he took my advice, grabbing Dany’s body in his claws, and flying away. His job was done.

Jon was nabbed, and Tyrion was taken before a tribunal of the most powerful people in Westeros. Davos told Grey Worm that the unsullied could have some land in return for their hard work. Grey Worm said the unsullied didn’t want payment. They wanted justice. Tyrion said he didn’t get to choose, and Grey Worm told him, shut up. He’d already talked too much all season. Tyrion said Grey Worm was right, but he still didn’t get to make the choice. Sam said they were the heads of the great houses, but thought a decision that affected everyone should be made by everyone. This is how the vote was almost born, but the rest of them started laughing. Davos asked Tyrion what he thought, and supposed Tyrion wanted the crown. Tyrion said half the people hated him for serving Dany, and the other half hated him for betraying her. He couldn’t think of a worse choice, but said Bran was the keeper of their stories. Who better to lead them into the future? Sansa said he can’t father children, and Tyrion said, good. The sons of kings could be cruel, and it was the wheel Dany wanted to break. Future leaders would be chosen this way. He knew Bran didn’t want it, but if they chose him, would he wear the crown? Bran asked why Tyrion thought he came all this way. Everyone said, aye, except Sansa, who said the North would remain an independent kingdom, as it had been for thousands of years, which apparently somehow meant aye. Everyone hailed Bran, and Bran made Tyrion his Hand. Tyrion said he didn’t want it, but Bran said he didn’t want to be king either, so too bad. Grey Worm said the unsullied deserved justice, and Bran said they got it. Tyrion was going to have to spend the rest of his life in this headache of a job, fixing his own mistakes.

Jon got sent back to the Night’s Watch because Tyrion talked Grey Worm into it. Jon wondered if what he did was right, because it didn’t feel like it. He figured he wouldn’t see Tyrion again, but Tyrion told him not to be so sure. Everyone went back to work, and the unsullied sailed for the Isle of Naath. Arya decided to head west of Westeros, since no one knew what was there. Jon apologized to Bran for not being there when Bran need him, but Bran said he was where he was supposed to be. Brienne added Jaime’s death to the Book of Knights or whatever it is. After making him sound good, she wrote, he died protecting his queen.

Tyrion sat in the Hand chair, which looked more comfy than the Iron Throne, but still unpleasant to sit in. Sam brought him a book, A Song of Ice and Fire, which he said was all about the throne game history, and I wondered if George RR Martin knew about Sam plagiarizing him. Tyrion wondered what was said about him, and Sam said he didn’t believe Tyrion was mentioned. Bran was wheeled in, and we found out Drogon was last spotted flying east. Bronn said, the further the better, everyone said, long may he reign! to Bran, and Bran was wheeled back out. Bronn was now the Master of Coin, and said if he didn’t keep an eye on the coin, there wouldn’t be no more coin. Davos said, any more, and Bronn asked if he was the Master of Grammar, which made me laugh. Since the brothel burned down, Bronn was willing to fund that.

Tormund met Jon at the gate that replaced where the Wall fell, dashing my hopes of him and Brienne becoming a couple. I was also hoping she was going to write that Jaime had a child, but I guess it would be too early for her to know that anyway. Jon was like, back to the old drawing board. I kept wondering if that was a duck head on the pummel of his sword before realizing it’s a direwolf.

Sansa officially began her reign, Arya got on a ship with a Stark crest on the sail, and Jon was reunited with Ghost. I hope everyone who griped about Jon not taking him along is glad now, since he would have been crispy crittered. Sansa got a crown, and sat on the Not Iron Throne, while everyone said, the Queen of the North! Jon and Tormund took a bunch of people into the woods, and vocals were added the the theme over the ending credits.

🙌 Next Sunday – May 26th – at 9 pm, HBO is airing The Last Watch, a GoT documentary.

👀 HBO will also be airing a new series, The Watchmen, that looks intriguing. Their site just says, coming soon, but you can get a sneak peek here:


👑 Bronn and the Queen…

I’d forgotten they were ever dating.


☕ It’s Dany’s Fault…

The final final word on that coffee cup.



May 14, 2019 – Finn’s Ring Goes Missing, Justin Doubles His Firepower, Dracarys All Over, Throne Thoughts, the Real Throne, Throne Feels, Beverly Beg Off & OLTL Frat


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Michael comes by Willow’s classroom. He says he didn’t know teachers kept such late hours. She says they don’t, but she’s hosting some parents and the principal. He asks if it’s a problem, and she says nothing or no one she can’t handle.

In Toronto, Maxie, Peter, Curtis, and Laura play Trivial Pursuit. Maxie tells Peter, not geography, and I identify. He says, entertainment. A TV show is described, and Curtis says, Fraternity Row. That was his story. And also a nod to the fake soap opera that was part of a One Life to Live storyline many years ago.

On the phone with Lulu, Doc says they’re ready and waiting. He tells Ava that Lulu’s colleague from Page Five is on the way. Ava says they can provide more tawdry fodder to get Ryan’s attention. She takes Doc’s arm, and he tenses. She tells him, it’s okay, but he says, nothing about it is okay. She says sorry to violate his personal space. He says he just wants Ryan captured, so he can get back to his life and his wife, and Ava must have a life she wants to get back to.

Peter tells Maxie, sorry their first date went down the drain. She says he doesn’t control the weather, and until the snow lets up, their fabulous first date will have to wait. Standing by the window, Curtis tells Laura that Clue or Risk would guarantee world domination. She wonders when the weather will turn. It’s sweet of Maxie and Peter to let them intrude, but… Curtis says they’ve worn out their welcome. Laura says they need to get back on the road, and track down Ryan.

At the MetroCourt, Valentin suggests whisking Nina away, but she says it would be irresponsible to miss a meeting. The less time she spends with that woman, the better. Sasha appears, and asks, what woman? Nina says it’s not important, and asks what Sasha is up to. Sasha says she’s meeting Michael. Nina says Sasha has a hot date, but not if they’re around. She grabs Valentin and they jet.

On the phone, Finn tells Robert that he wants his ring. Robert bets he does. Finn says he can’t propose without it, and Robert says he’ll hand it off to Finn later, Finn tells him, tonight’s the night. Anna approaches Finn, and says, sounds ominous. Robert tells Finn that he’ll drop by with his precious bauble later. Robert opens the ring box, and ring is gone.

Michael comes into the classroom with a gift bag, saying he thought he’d leave it on Willow’s desk, so she could get in the morning. She asks what it’s for, and he says to thank her for helping his sister. He saw Kristina this morning. Willow asks how she is, and he says, she’s not her old self yet, but she’ll get there eventually – thanks to her. Willow thinks Neil had a lot to do with it. Michael says, for sure, but Willow spoke about her own experience with Shiloh, and it was instrumental in getting his sister back. He says thank you doesn’t do justice to what Willow did. They hug as Nina and Valentin walk in. Michael says goodnight, and breezes out.

Robert says, damn, and Finn asks, what does that mean? Robert says, the MetroCourt is out of Fosters. He ends the call as Felicia and Mac join him. Mac asks what’s wrong, and Robert says someone stole the ring out of his pocket. Felicia wonders why he has a ring, and he says it’s not his; it’s Finn’s. Felicia is shocked that he lost it, and he tells them to help him find it.

Anna asks Finn what the call was about, and he says he was just clearing a few things with Robert. Anna asks when he was going to tell her how serious Jordan’s condition is.

Maxie says, go fish. Curtis tells Laura that he’s anxious to get this over with so he can get back to his wife. She suggests when the storm clears, he go directly back to Port Charles. He asks what she’s going to do, and she says she wants to check out the last place. The piled up mail doesn’t sit right with her. He asks if she’s shaking him, but she says she just wants to get him back where he belongs, by his wife’s side. He’s sure his wife would rather have him out of her hair than crying in it. He promised to see this through with her. They’re in this together.

Doc wonders how long they have to wait, and Ava asks what’s his hurry. He’s not running home to Laura. He says, and he won’t be. Not as long as this dog and pony show is going on. She asks if her presence is that intolerable, but he says there’s nothing about her presence that’s objectionable. She asks if her reputation doesn’t give him pause, but he says he prefers forming his opinion by direct observation. She says, observe then. What does he see? He says, a human being in pain. She says Ryan saw enough to fall in love. He turned out to be a monster though, and monster love doesn’t count, except to other monsters. He says she’s not a monster, and she asks if that’s his direct observation. He says he loves his wife, and she says, of course (🍷) he does. She tells him not to worry about any more unrehearsed kisses. Doc says, maybe a rehearsed one. Someone’s coming. He grabs Ava and kisses her. Julian runs to them, and tells Doc to get his damn hands off his sister.

Julian tells Doc, back off, but Ava says, stop it. He’s not Ryan. Julian knows who he is. He’s no better than his brother. He unleashed that psycho, and got Kiki killed, and put Ava in Ryan’s sights. Doc says he’s ashamed of what he did, but Julian says, if that was true, he’d have slunk out of town long ago. Doc says he’s not going anywhere until Ryan is dead and buried. He wants to be sure. Julian asks if that’s what he told Ava. He’s taking advantage of her vulnerability. Laura moved on, but Ava is here, ripe for the picking.

Peter tells Curtis that they could play Operation or go old school. Curtis says, definitely old school. Curtis is sorry to impose, but Peter says he can’t control the weather. Peter says a private detective and the mayor. What’s the story? It’s quite the buddy comedy. Curtis thinks it’s not as entertaining as what he and Maxie have going on. Peter flashes back to Maxie saying, it’s been perfect, and kissing her. Laura tells Maxie that she’s been a lovely hostess. They’ve been sweet, but it’s clear they’d rather be alone. Maxie says, it’s really new. Kind of a first date. Laura says Maxie deserves to move on, and if she likes Peter, Laura is happy for her. Maxie thanks her, but she’s not sure she knows what she’s doing. Larua says she’ll figure it out. When the snow stops, they can get on to other activities. Maxie says she’s beginning to think that she and Peter could be the last two people on the planet and still find a way to avoid those activities.

Finn tells Anna that he can’t discuss patients. Anna gets that, but says he could have given her a heads up that Jordan could use a friend. Left to her own devices, Jordan would never say anything. She’s a proud woman. Finn says if Jordan takes a turn for the worse, he’ll let her know. Chase walks in, and says he’s there to see the commissioner. Anna says, Jordan is resting, and Chase says, another time. He asks if Anna got a manicure. She says she’s just wearing clear polish, and he says, sorry. He thought he saw a sparkle. Finn says it could be a symptom of cataracts, and can check that for him. He wants to do that right now, and tells Anna that she’s going to be late to meet Felicia. Anna says she’s not late, but Finn says she doesn’t want to be; Felicia has a mean streak. He pushes her toward the elevator. Once she’s gone, he tells Chase, that was smooth. Chase says, Anna’s ring finger is bare. What’s Finn waiting for?

Felicia says Robert has to tell Finn, and Robert asks if she’s mad. She says, Finn will understand it’s an accident, right? Mac says, of course (🍷). It’s not like he lost it on purpose. Felicia says, why would he sabotage another man’s proposal to his ex-wife?

Nina wants to call Sasha about seeing Michael with Willow, but Valentin says that Sasha told them it’s not that serious. Nina can’t find her phone, and says her whole life is on it. He thinks it could be at the MetroCourt. She wants him to go find it, and he asks her to promise there won’t be bloodshed. Keep it misdemeanor. He leaves, and Principal Schultz comes in, asking them all to take a seat. He thanks them for coming out for what he hopes is a civil discussion. He’s hoping to yield understanding, so they can circumvent the district dealing with the matter. Franco doesn’t know how it can be sorted out in one discussion. Someone here has a problem with the gays.

Finn is beginning to think Chase is more invested in the proposal than he is. Chase says it doesn’t sound good, and Finn says, great detective skills. He’s surprised Chase hasn’t made head detective yet. Finn apologizes, saying he’s on edge. Chase was afraid he’d gone over it. Finn just wants to get the proposal over with, but Chase says, it’s supposed to be a romantic moment. Anna is liable to run other way with him in this state. Finn says he can’t get down on one knee without the ring. Robert has it, and he’s not giving it back. Chase says Finn should have said so sooner. Let’s go get the ring back.

Felicia can’t believe they’re having this conversation. Robert needs to return the ring. Robert says he doesn’t have a ring to return. Mac says he can get a ring. He knows a guy who creates lookalikes. Felicia tells him, no, but he and Robert are already moving, and almost run into Anna. Anna asks Felicia what she missed, and Felicia says, Robert strikes again.

Principal Schultz says what’s in question is a children’s book that celebrates the diversity of Family. Willow would like to explain, but is interrupted by one of the mothers who says she shouldn’t have her own agenda. The classroom shouldn’t be a soapbox. Franco asks which kid is hers, and finds out she’s Bianca’s mother. Franco asks if she has any idea how hurt Aiden was when he wasn’t invited to the birthday party. Nina says, this is unacceptable.

At the MetroCourt, Sasha sees Michael, who says it’s nice to see her back on her feet. Sasha says she didn’t need to go to the hospital, but he says she was delirious when he saw her. She asks if she said anything embarrassing. Michael tells her that she said she wishes Nina was her real mother. Valentin overhears.

Doc tells Julian that he misunderstood. Julian says his sister is vulnerable. When she sees him, she doesn’t just see the man who killed her daughter, but the man who put her on a pedestal, and he’s manipulating that. He thinks if Ava forgives him, the whole town will. Doc says it’s none of his business, and Julian says Ava is coming with him. He grabs her, and Doc tells him not to manhandle her. Julian says, it’s better than assaulting her. Doc had his hands all over her, and was kissing her. Ava says she was kissing back. They’re together.

Peter tells Curtis it’s his and Maxie’s first date. They were flying to Paris, but the storm had other plans. He guesses they’ll have to settle for memorable. Curtis tells him that he’s doing a good job, and to squeeze every moment for all that it’s worth. God forbid something unexpected happens; something he’s not in control of. Don’t take things in life for granted like they’ll always be there. Make the most of each and every moment.

Maxie tells Laura that she and Peter have found every reason not move forward. Laura says they’re here now, and Maxie says they ironed some things out, but she thinks Peter doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. Isn’t that crazy? Laura says she’s heard about Peter’s childhood from Lulu. Keep in mind that he’s a complicated man with complicated feelings. Maybe Maxie has to simplify it, and make the first move.

Julian asks what Ava is talking about. She says it’s been all over the news, and The Invader. Julian says, The Invader is tabloid trash, but Ava says, in this case, it’s true. Ava says she and Doc have been seeing one another, and Julian says Doc is sicker than he thought. Doc suggests Julian leave, and Julian suggests Doc stay away from his sister. Doc says if he was a better brother, maybe she wouldn’t be as vulnerable. He’s been too busy building a bar and reconstructing his image. He’s a last resort for Ava now, just like with his children. Julian punches Doc in the face. A photographer pops out of nowhere, and starts taking pictures.

Curtis says the snow stopped, and Laura says they’re back in business. Curtis says, and out of Maxie and Peter’s. Laura says she’ll see them back in Port Charles. Peter is glad they could help. Laura and Curtis leave, and Maxie says, so…? Peter says, so.

Finn tells Chase that he’s not going after Robert, and Chase asks how else is he going to get the ring back? Finn says Robert is supposed to give it to him tonight. He appreciates it, but doesn’t need rescuing from his little brother. Chase says, history says otherwise, but Finn thinks he has it under control. He’ll let Chase know when the deed is done. Chase says he and Willow can take them out to celebrate. Finn says Chase is still with the school marm. Chase wishes Finn wouldn’t call her that, and Finn says that’s why he does it. He’s teasing. Chase says Willow takes her job seriously.

Nina says they wanted a discussion; let’s discuss. She’s going to say what Willow should have said at the get-go. Schools exist to help children learn to form their own ideas, which is what parents also do. It’s not to force feed them what someone else believes. She says, they want to read something that reflects their own experiences, or look through the window of the experiences of others. They’re not indoctrinating children, just helping them be who they are. Children will do it anyway, like it or not, so why not help the kids who need more guidance or extra guidance, and let them access that? It’s no big deal. If they want to talk about what’s hurting their kids, they should discuss the chicken fingers in the cafeteria.

Sasha tells Michael that she wouldn’t want that to get back to Nina. They’ve come so far so fast. It would hurt Nina. If Sasha is asked about her mom, she immediately thinks of her adoptive mother. She doesn’t think she can shake that feeling, but couldn’t share that with Nina. She asks if it bothers him, but he says it sounds like she’s protecting Nina. She says, by lying? He says, there are some lies and truths that serve no purpose. He doesn’t believe in the truth for truth’s sake. The world is not so black and white. Her secret is safe with him. Valentin continues to listen.

Laura and Curtis go back to the last house. Curtis says, the mail is gone, and Laura says, someone is home. She knocks, and a woman answers. She apologizes for coming by so late, but they were delayed be the storm. They introduce themselves as being from Canadian Revenue, and Curtis says they’re following up on a discrepancy in their records. Laura asks if the woman is April, and if they can come in. She says she’s April, but no. We see the newspaper inside with a headline about Ryan. Laura asks if April has been away, and April asks if that’s the discrepancy. Laura says, no, but they tried knocking earlier. No one answered, and she noticed the piled up mail, and assumed no one was home. April says she just got back from a trip. Curtis hopes it was somewhere warm, and April says, Miami. He says she doesn’t look like she got much sun. Laura asks how many people live there, and April says, just her. She tells them she’s tired. Laura tries to ask how long she’s lived there, but April closes the door.

Julian tells the reporter to get that guy out of his face, referring to the photographer. He says yes, he hit Doc, but Doc provoked him. He was harassing Julian all day. Ava tells Doc that he pushed all of Julian’s buttons. She didn’t know he had it in him. Doc says the better the show, the sooner they draw out Ryan, and the sooner it’s over. Julian says tell them it’s a misunderstanding and there was no crime. Ava looks at Doc.

Finn tells Chase that anyone juggling third graders and their parents has his admiration. Chase says Willow finds shaping kids hugely rewarding, and Finn says, good thing she has him to lean on. Chase says he’s not going anywhere, but things are complicated. Finn asks if she gave Chase homework, and I laugh. Chase says Willow’s ex is still an issue. She can’t shake him; not for lack of trying. Finn asks why Chase didn’t tell him sooner. He says, let’s get that jerk, and free your girl. He heads for the elevator.

Willow thanks Nina for defending her. Nina says she wasn’t. she was speaking out against censorship. Willow has poor judgement in the classroom, and is fundamentally dishonest. She saw Willow sucking up to Michael when she has a boyfriend. Willow says, that’s not what happened, but Nina tells Willow to watch herself – because she is.

Peter says, the trip has been full of surprises, and Maxie says, a flight to France. He says, rerouted to Canada. She says, surprise guests, and he says, there could be more surprises. He says he’s beat, and she says she is too. Maxie asks if he wants to go to sleep. He says, does she? and she says, there’s not much else to do this late. He says, not really, and they say goodnight. When Maxie is gone, Peter sighs.

Anna tells Felicia that Robert and Holly are taking a break. Does Felicia think she could fix him up? Felicia says, maybe he already has eye on someone. Anna says, he needs a woman to occupy himself. Felicia says he’s been hanging around Port Charles for a while, and wonders if it’s because of someone there.

Michael suggests he and Sasha go to the café. He knows the private entrance. She says she’ll meet him there. He leaves, and she runs into Valentin on her way out. He says she and Michael seem be hitting it off. She says they enjoy each other’s company, but he tells her to keep in mind her time there is limited. He and Nina will be married soon, and she can move away. Hopefully, as far as possible.

Peter flops on the bed, and thinks about kissing Maxie. Maxie flops on the bed, and thinks about kissing Peter. He sits up, and says, make the most of each and every moment. She sits up, and says, simplify. Make the first move. They meet in the suite living room, and start kissing. For all the time they wasted, they waste none now, and they both flop onto the bed.

Nina meets Valentin at the MetroCourt. He says she just missed Michael and Sasha. He says it’s officially been a fulfilling evening, and asks how hers went. She says, swimmingly. He asks if they got the book back in the library, and she says, that too.

Willow thanks Principal Schultz. She’s grateful for his support. She wants to run some ideas past him for next year’s curriculum. He says he’d intended to delay this conversation until the end of the school year, but it can’t be avoided. He’s sorry, but she won’t be invited back to teach next year.

Anna tells Felicia, it’s true. Robert has been hanging around so much lately. Felicia says maybe he’s looking to resettle there. Anna pities the poor woman. She gets a phone call, and steps away to take it.

Chase tells Finn that he doesn’t need rescuing, the same way Finn doesn’t. Finn says, you’re learning, grasshopper, and Chase goes, huh? Finn says, you are so young… never mind. If Chase needs help, let him know, and says hi to the school marm for him. Chase says, say hi to his future sister-in-law. Providing he gets the ring back. He tells Finn that he’ll keep his phone on, and to let him know what happens.

Robert and Mac show Felicia the ring. Mac says, well? Felicia says, it’s beautiful, but he’ll never pull it off. Robert asks why she’s being a pessimist. Mac says Robert described it to the jeweler, and he doesn’t think Finn will know the difference. Felicia supposes he has a point. Robert says, but will Anna find Finn’s proposal worth accepting? Felicia says Anna might keep her emotions to herself, but she knows Anna’s heart. She’s a woman in love. Ring or no ring, she’s ripe for a proposal.

Doc says Julian is Ava’s brother, but Ava says she’ll stand by Doc’s side if he wants to press charges. If that doesn’t get Ryan’s attention… Doc says, not much else would. She tells Julian that she’s so sorry, but there’s nothing she can do. He did assault her lover. Doc says he’d like to press charges. Julian asks what he’s talking about, as handcuffs are put on him.

Laura asks what Curtis thinks. He says, she lied. Laura says, why? and he says, covering something up maybe? Inside, April tells someone that she sent them away. The paper they wanted is on the table. We see the paper with a picture of Ava and Doc, and a knife comes down on it.

Tomorrow, Curtis is ready to talk, Anna tells Robert that she’s sworn off marriage, Mike proposes to Yvonne with the ring, Shiloh wants to complete Sam’s initiation, and someone goes after Laura.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Justin tells David, he’s been waiting for this moment. David says, get the gun out of his face. Justin says, get the hell out of his apartment. David sent those guys to his place. David says if Justin puts a gun on him, he’d better use it, and Justin says he plans to. David asks where his son is, and Justin says, get out. David says his son is all he has left, and he loves him. Justin says that makes two of them. David says he’d kill for Jeffrey, and Justin says, again, that makes two of them. Get out. David calls for Jeffrey, who’s in the bathroom. Justin repeats he’s not there. David says he has a lot of pictures of Jeffrey, and he’s having dinner for two by himself. Justin says he does that from time to time. David calls for Jeffrey again, and Justin says, get out. He means it.

Jeffrey comes out, and asks what the hell Justin is doing. Justin says, sorry, but David’s got to go. When Justin turns to talk to Jeffrey, David pops him, and takes the gun. He says he’ll kill Justin, and piss on his grave. Jeffrey tells him, stop it, and David lets Justin go. He tells Jeffrey to come with him, but Jeffrey says he’s not going. David asks if Jeffrey can’t see this boy is crazy, and Jeffrey says he’s trying to help Justin. David says they’re leaving, but Jeffrey says he’s an adult. David isn’t leaving him there, and Jeffrey asks how David knew where he was. David says Jeffrey needs to come home with him – now. Jeffery says he’ll make a deal. He’ll stop seeing Justin when David stops seeing Veronica. David says, that’s entirely different. Jeffrey tells him that he should go, and David says, fine. He tells Justin if any harm comes to his son, he’ll kill him. If so much as a fingernail is broken, he’s dead. He gives Jeffrey the gun, saying Jeffrey will need it more than he will. David leaves, and Jeffrey sits on the couch next to Justin, who looks wiped out.

Jeffrey asks if Justin is okay. Justin asks why David hates him so much, and Jeffrey says, yeah, he’s okay. Justin says he didn’t do anything to David. Why won’t he leave them alone? Jeffrey says he’s their only child. Justin says all he’s trying to do is love Jeffrey. Why is it so complicated? Jeffrey says he’ll get through this, and Justin says, with Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he needs Justin to talk to someone, and Justin says, don’t start that again. Jeffery says he’s going to go. His dad is going to be pissed off. Justin says, no. They’re finishing dinner. He still has dessert. If David is pissed now, he’ll be pissed later, and he made it for Jeffrey. Then he can leave. Jeffrey says, okay. Justin wonders why David did that, and Jeffrey says Justin knows.

Benny sees a news reporter interviewing Landon after the White House dinner. The reporter asks about Candice, and Landon says she and Charles have a special relationship. The reporter asks if they’ll be getting married, and Landon says, we’ll see. The reporter asks about the visit, and Landon says they loved her, and they all had fun being there. Benny tries to call Candace, but gets voicemail. He shouts for Hanna to come. She’s lying in bed, and says, not now. He goes into her bedroom, and says she needs to see this. He puts on the TV. The reporter is saying that Candace is a third year law student. Benny’s phone rings. It’s Mitch, who asks if he’s watching the news. He can’t believe she did it. She got the President. Benny asks if that’s the guy who came to the hospital. Mitch says, yes, but he had no idea. He says she has to be careful. Politicians are killers. Benny says Candace can handle herself, and Mitch says they’ll find out. Benny asks how Mitch’s uncle is doing, and Mitch says, all right. Benny asks if Mitch talked to him. Mitch asks, about what? and Benny says, the interest. Mitch says, he’s not budging. Does Benny have a plan? Benny says he was just talking to his mom about it. Mitch tells him, stay in touch, and let him know.

At the Iron Bone, the guy sitting next to Mitch at the bar asks if that wasn’t the girl who was in there. Mitch didn’t tell him that she was connected like that. Mitch asks if he wants to hit that now, but the guy says he didn’t vote for him. Mitch wonders when he’s given a sh*t, and the guy tells him, go buy a car. Mitch says if the guy has a problem with his car, buy him one, which totally sounds like what I would say. The guy says Mitch doesn’t have the money, and Mitch says he’s not kissing Vinnie’s ass like him. In five years, his car will be worth fifty grand. Vintage. The guy says, more like garbage, and Mitch says, ride that bike, dude. Dude tells the bartender he can’t stand Mitch.

Kathryn tells Jim that he needs to calm down. He says, don’t tell him what to do. He wonders how she stays calm, and she says she has drugs. He says that’s why he’s in this mess. How can she keep drugs there with his son? She says she didn’t think… and he says she never does. She says she thinks he’s an ass. He says she needs to go somewhere and sleep off, but she says she needs another drink. Then she’s going to call her Latin lover, and have him put her to sleep. Jim says she’s pathetic, and walks out.

Kathryn calls the hotel. She’s told Roderick isn’t there, and says she’s been calling all day. Kathryn Cryer. I’m your boss, bitch. She says to transfer her to the bar. Rocky answers, and she asks for Roderick. Roderick is standing there, shaking his head. Rocky says, actually, he is, and she says, put him on the phone. Roderick says, you bastard, and takes the phone. She says she’s been calling all day, and he says he’s been busy. She says she’s not the type who likes to be ignored, but he says he wasn’t ignoring her. He’s been busy. She asks if she detects a tone in his voice, and he says, no. He has a customer right now, and she says, make them wait. He says he’s going to check them in and go home. She says, no he isn’t. She’s coming in for a nightcap, and wants to see him. He doesn’t think so. She asks if it’s about Jim, and he says it’s about him, and he says no. She says his ass better be there when she arrives, and he hangs up. Rocky asks, did he just hang up on her? and Roderick says he did. Kathryn looks at the phone, and says, did he just hang up? Rocky says, she’s going to be pissed. Is Roderick trying to get fired? Roderick says, no. He’s trying to get to her. Watch the master at work. She’s used to getting what she wants, and the rich want what they can’t have. Rocky asks if he’s been reading a book on how to trap a wealthy woman. Roderick says he could write it. Watch him work. Rocky tells him, watch out for her husband. Roderick says, watch and see. When he leaves, Rocky says, that guy’s nuts.

Benny answers a knock at the door. It’s Mitch. He asks if Benny was watching the news. His sister’s with the President; it’s crazy. That’s her man now. He asks how Benny is doing, and Benny says, not good. Mitch says Benny called him; what’s up? Has he found a way to get the money? Benny says, no, and Mitch says Benny is wasting his time. Benny asks what Mitch thinks they’ll do to him. He can have a leg broke. He thinks he should go down there and take it like a man. Mitch says Benny doesn’t get it. It don’t work like that. They’ll break both legs, and still want the money. it’s accruing interest every week Benny doesn’t pay seen him. He knows a guy who borrowed $10K, and had to pay back $100K in eight weeks. This ain’t no bank. He told Benny not to do this in the first place. Now it’s legit. He wishes he could help. Benny suggests Mitch take out a loan, and Mitch laughs. He says, from who? and Benny says from his family. They won’t break his legs. Mitch says he’s not doing that. If he borrows money from them, that means he’s in the family. Benny asks, what’s wrong with that? and Mitch says, it ain’t cool. It’s hard enough trying separate from them. Benny says how about if he works? but Mitch says, it ain’t gonna happen. Benny asks if it’s because he’s Black, but Mitch says he’s not in the family. They only let family do things that make them money. He has no ideas or answers. Benny says he doesn’t need an I told you so. Hanna appears, and says, so they’re going to kill him if he doesn’t pay. Benny tells her, go on to bed, but she keeps talking. Mitch says, hi, and Hanna says, hi Mitch, without taking her eyes from Benny. She says he borrowed from people who are that bad? Benny says he had to do something. She says he has to deal with it then. He says if he took the interest from the money Candace got… She says, goodnight. They’re going to the bank in the morning, and giving it all back, and she doesn’t want to hear it. Benny says, it will be all right. She says, if he says so, and goes back upstairs. Mitch has an idea. Go to Candace for the money. She’s with the President now. Maybe he’s wired her to some account. It’s only $20K. Maybe she’ll give it to him. It’s worth a shot. She’s the one who got him into the situation with his truck. Benny says, might as well.

Charles and Candace go back to the hotel. Candace’s phone rings. She says it’s her brother, and Charles says her family probably saw her on the news. She asks, when? and he says, didn’t she see all the cameras outside the White House? She does know a press pool follows him and records everything, right? She says, yeah. She’ll talk to Benny later. Charles says, now where were they? He tells her that she’s gotten quiet. She says they were talking in the car, and he says, then she got quiet. She says, it’s a lot, and he tells her it helps to talk through it. She says, what part? Being here with President Elect when they just came from the White House? That doesn’t happen every day to a Black girl from Savannah. He knows it’s overwhelming, but she has to let him know what’s going on in her head. She tells him that he said she was a hot piece of Black ass. Charles says, what? Who? and she says, the President. Charles asks, when? and she says, at the table. He says, the President said those words, hot piece of Black ass? He takes out his phone, and says he’ll take care of this. She says that’s why she didn’t tell him. She knew he’d be upset. So the President knows what kind of person she is. He says it’s time the President knows what kind of person he is. She says she shouldn’t have told him. She ruined a perfectly good night. She’s been called a lot worse. He says, by a head of state? She says, no, and he says, exactly. She can see why it’s so disrespectful. She says, he’s so cool. What about the game in the car? He says that was before he knew the President said that. She tells him, let it go for the night. Charles doesn’t know if he can. She asks if that’s a challenge. Does he want her to take his mind off things? She kisses him, and asks if he wants more. He says, it’s a start. She wants to take a shower, and motions for him to come closer. She tells him, undress for her, calling him Mr. President. He says she should count herself lucky there isn’t a pole in there, but he could put one in the Oval. She helps him take off his clothes, and leads him to the shower.

Kathryn comes downstairs, and Jim asks where the hell she’s going. She says, out. He says he asked a question, and she says, she answered. He wonders if she’s going to the hotel, and she wonders if he’s going to hell. He asks if she has any idea what time it is, and she says, time for a nightcap. Wyatt pops out of his room, and tells Jim, get out of her way. She’s trying get to her man whore. He tells her, hurry back. He has a surprise for her. She leaves, and Jim tells Wyatt, go to his room. Wyatt says he has a surprise for Jim too. Jim says, now.

RK kisses Veronica on the couch. He asks, what’s wrong with her? and she asks if he got her jewelry. She tells him, no woman wants a man who’s sweaty, but he says, some like it. She says he had his chance. He’s a disgusting problem, and she wants him to get her jewelry. He says she gave him her son’s address. He’ll do what she wants. Nothing sexual. She tells him, don’t disgust her, and RK says, he’s gay. She asked RK to flirt with him, and get his mind off that cop. He’s got it, and can do it. She says, this will be worth her jewelry? He says he’ll have her son eating out of the palm of his hand. She says he can’t just go to the house. Her son is living with his father. She tells him, lay low, and she’ll figure it out. He says this is going to cover him for her jewelry, right? but she says he’ll be owing her for a very long time. Now get the hell out of her house. He asks if she’ll let him use a car then. He needs to get around. She laughs, and he leaves. She calls David’s voicemail, and say she’s still waiting for him to come back.

Kathryn walks into the Artisian. Roderick meets her. She asks how he is, and he says, good. She says, not that good, hanging up on her. He says he didn’t want talk to her anymore, and she asks, why is that? He’s sorry… She says she doesn’t have time for this. Get Rocky, and meet her upstairs. He doesn’t think so, and she says, excuse me? He says she heard him. She doesn’t think he heard her. The only reason he stayed here is because she wanted to see him. He says, not true. He was tied up with guests. She says, bullsh*t. They’re going upstairs. He says, they’re not going anywhere. He’s not doing threesomes anymore. She says she wants to, but he doesn’t care. She’s just using him. She asks what this is about, and he says he can’t keep doing this. If she gets tired of him, what does he get out of it? She says he’s the most excitement she’s had in long time. He says, so he’s just a toy. She says he’s not, and he asks what he gets out of it. She asks what he wants; a raise? He says, no, and she says, more money? He wants her. She laughs, and says, no, he doesn’t. Roderick asks if he’s gotten in her head, that husband of hers. He’s gotten in so deep, she can’t see what a beautiful woman she is. She says she was a beautiful woman, but when she looks in the mirror, she see the years have gone downhill. She’s in her 50s, and it would be foolish to think she could compete with a thirty-year-old he might be seeing. He says he’s not seeing anyone else. He wants her. If he can’t have her the way he wants, fire him now, but if she comes at him like she wants him, he’s not a piece of meat. He walks away, and she says, okay.

She goes to the bar, and orders scotch on the rocks. I retch because I hate scotch, even the smell. She watches Roderick talk to a customer. She asks if Rocky is free, and Rocky tells her Roderick is serious. She says he’d better make it a double.

Justin washes the dishes while Jeffrey dries. Justin asks, who keeps calling. Jeffrey says, his dad. Justin says, sorry about that, and Jeffrey says he shouldn’t have put a gun to David’s head. Justin says David shouldn’t have sent people after him. Jeffrey knows, and Justin asks why Jeffrey is sticking up for him. Jeffrey says he’s not. He’d better go. Justin doesn’t want him to leave. He notices Jeffrey got a text, and asks if it was Jeffrey’s dad. Jeffrey says it was, and Justin asks what he said. Jeffrey says, nothing. He just wants him to come home already. Justin says Jeffrey put his phone face down. Is he hiding something? Jeffrey says, no, but Justin wants to see. Jeffrey says he’s not doing that. It’s his phone. Justin says Jeffrey can go through his phone, but Jeffrey doesn’t want to. Justin says Jeffrey can see all the nasty texts from his wife, co-workers, boss, mother, and brothers. Jeffrey says it’s his personal business, but Justin wants to see his phone. Jeffrey says, no, and Justin says it’s because he’s lying. Jeffery says, enough; stop. Justin says, they trust each other, right? Jeffrey says he’s not giving Justin his phone. They just had a nice dinner. Can they not do this? Justin keeps insisting, and Jeffrey says he’s going.

Jeffrey’s phone rings, and Justin grabs it. He asks, who is this? and Wyatt says, damn. Is that guy still messing around with him? Justin says he is, and asks again who it is. Wyatt tells him to put Jeffrey on the phone. Justin says he told Wyatt never to call Jeffrey. Wyatt says he’ll call as much as he pleases. Give Jeffrey the phone. Justin says he means it. If Wyatt calls again, he’ll break Wyatt’s jaw. He says, wait. Was Wyatt trying to get ahold of him? Does the straight boy need a fix? Get on his knees again? Wyatt says he didn’t do a damn thing, but Justin says he wanted to. Wyatt says, go to hell, and Justin tells him, don’t call again. Jeffrey says, give him his phone. Justin says he’s been texting Madison. I say, uh-oh. Justin says Jeffrey texted Madison his address. They were having a nice, romantic dinner, and Jeffrey texted the address. What else is in there? Jeffrey says he’s not doing this again. Keep it.

He heads for the door. Justin takes out two guns. He holds one to Jeffrey’s head, and one to his own head.

Next time, Jeffrey says only one gun has a bullet, Benny asks Jim if he wants to go again, and Kathryn tells Jim she’s going to let Hanna keep all of the money.

🐉 Dracarys Or Bust

I don’t know what everyone is so upset about. The remaining dragon is fine.

Varys told a kitchen maid, the greater the risk the greater the reward, when she told him Dany wouldn’t eat, and I had a mental picture of him looking at a medieval motivational poster. (Please note the connection of dots below that I totally missed here.) He tried to get Jon to reveal who he really is, but Jon said Dany was his queen. Varys told him, every time a Targaryen is born, the gods toss a coin and the world holds its breath. Tyrion told Dany about Varys meddling, and Dany though Jon betrayed her by telling Sansa, who told Tyrion. Dany said it didn’t matter now, and looked older than sixteen for the first time. Grey Worm took Varys to Tyrion, Dany and Jon. Varys hoped he deserved what was coming, and was proved wrong. Dany sentenced him to die, and it was dracarys and a roasted Varys. I liked him, but well, there you go.

Dany gave Grey Worm Missandel’s old collar, and he burned it. Jon said Dany was his queen and she wanted to get busy, but it was a hard no, which didn’t make her too happy. Tyrion told Dany the people of King’s Landing were prisoners. She said she was going to be merciful… to future generations. Tyrion looked sick. She said the next time Tyrion failed her would be the last. Arya and the Hound were on a mission to kill Cersei. Jaime got caught, and Tyrion went to see him. He told Jaime that Cersei would die unless he could get her to stay her course of action. The city was going to fall, He should escape with Cersei, and start a new life. He said, tens of thousands of innocent lives, and one not-so-innocent dwarf was a fair trade. If it hadn’t been for Jaime, he wouldn’t have survived childhood. At King’s Landing, Cersei was like, see ya, and locked herself in the Keep. Arya and the Hound managed to muscle their way through the crowd,, but Jaime had noon such luck. Waiting on his Iron Boat, (sounds like) Urine Greyjoy kept checking the sky. Why she didn’t do this last week, I’ll never know, but everyone got darcarysed by Dany on Drogon, including Urine. This caused the crew at the city door to scramble around, but they got singed as well. I guess if you want something done right…

Zoolander headed Cersei’s army, and everyone stood around until King’s Landing was blown apart from the inside. Grey Worm led the charge, but I don’t know why he even bothered at that point. Zoolander tried to run, but got trampled, and it was pretty funny. Then he literally got stabbed in the back by Grey Worm. Cersei watched from her off-ivory tower as her city burned. She said all they needed was one good shot. Old guy Hand was like, give up, but Cersei stuck with being delusional, saying the city hadn’t fallen yet, and it wouldn’t today. I laughed when the dragon flew over the city, and everyone scurried to get anywhere but there. (Sorry, I never had much investment in any of the characters, except Tyrion and the dragons, and sometimes find the over-the-top stuff a bit Monty Pythonish.) Then I was really laughing when the head soldier dude threw his sword down, and Cersei’s idea that they’d protect her to the death didn’t happen. Jaime snuck around the back way.

The bell rang, indicating surrender, but Dany didn’t care. She flew straight at the tower Cersei was in, with everyone in the city running like Godzilla was coming. Dracarys was everywhere, and there was a melee with the remaining soldiers, where Jon just stood around spacing out, and Grey Worm single-handedly creamed about five dozen soldiers. He was like Michonne on Walking Dead. Tyrion was like, wtf?

Somehow, Urine survived, and he and Jaime ended up in the same cave. Urine said he became king once he screwed the queen. They fought, and I was like, oh please, don’t let Jaime get killed by this loser. It looked like Jaime was a goner, but that was still debatable. Cersei cried a tear, and old guy Hand said they’d find a better place to wait out the storm. She let him lead her away.

Jaime managed to crawl to his sword, and stab the crap out of Urine. He stomped off, while Urine’s last words were that he got Jaime, and he was going to die thinking he was the man who killed Jaime Lannister. I think the line would have been better had he said the Kingslayer, but that’s just me. The Hound told Arya to go home, but she wanted to kill Cersei. He said revenge was all he cared about his whole life, and look at him. Did she want to be that? He said if she went with him, she’d die. She thanked him, and got the hell out of there, as we all would had he given us that option.

We found out the Mountain looked like Uncle Fester under his helmet. No wonder he’s always so pissed off. Jaime found Cersei, and stopped my fun in watching her be scared for the first time. They clutched each other. The Hound shoved his sword all the way through the Mountain, but it was just a flesh wound, and the Mountain pulled it out, and made like Yul Brynner in the original Westworld. I was hoping Arya would save him, as the Mountain tossed him around like a football, but she was taking a similar pummeling, trying to run with the crowd. The Hound heard me say, get his eyeball, and stabbed the Mountain in it. While the Mountain struggled to pull out the blade, they both went over the side of the tower into the burning city. By now, Jon was all, fall back, like an hour too late. Arya tried to help the people hiding, but ended up in flames herself… or so we thought. Cersei whined to Jaime that she didn’t want to die like this. She should have thought of that before. Idiot narcissist that he is, Jaime said nothing else mattered but them. Everything fell around them.

Arya rose from the ashes. Sadly without dragon babies. She got on a white horse that seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and rode away. Next time – the finale – Tyrion surveys the damage, and Dany rules (?).

Now who’s going to clean up all that dracarys?

💭 What We Thought…

Theories about Jaime, including mine, bite the dust along with King’s Landing.


🔥 What Happened…

I was possibly too concerned about the remaining dragon to connect the dots.


Foreshadows come to pass.


🐲 How Many Felt…

My favorite recap.


📷 Nice Photos!

Trying to end on an upbeat note.


🌴 Due to time constraints (i.e. I need time to sleep), and a Mother’s Day debacle that infringed on said time, I’m begging off The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills until tomorrow. Both LVP and Giggy (!) made an appearance, which made it worthwhile.

🛀 Soap Within Soap…

While there have been Rows since then, this is the original.

May 7, 2019 – Freedom For Kristina, the President Doesn’t Like Charles, Beverly Hills Goes Camping (Sort Of, Not Really), Promised Throne, Snarky Throne, Reason Rebut, Rogue Coffee Cup & Finally


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly comes down to find Jax. They hug.

Anna tells Finn that Robert drives her crazy, but has a way of giving her clarity. She realized the truth was staring her in the face. Peter isn’t her son.

Peter takes Maxie onto a private plane. He wanted to make sure their overdue date was special. She says, a five-star restaurant is special. This is… She tells him it’s hard to pack when you don’t know where you’re going. Is he going to tell her? He says, guess. She guesses they’re going to see a Broadway show in New York. He says, no, but it’s a city. She says, LA? Chicago? Are they going to Portland to see Georgie? He says, no, but he’s filing that away for next time. Think bigger, like internationally. She says it’s a good thing she always takes her passport, and he says he took that into consideration. He says there are bridges, and a tower by a guy named Eiffel. She says, they’re going to Paris?

Michael tells Willow, yesterday was huge for Kristina and his family. He knows it was intensely painful, but Willow says, it was for a good cause. Michael says, that doesn’t make it easier, and thanks her again.

Neil tells Kristina that she’s free to go. The choice is hers. Chase appears at the door and says, there she is. He tells Kristina that she’s not an easy person to find.

Sam arrives at DOD. Shiloh says he was beginning to think she changed her mind. She hands him the recorder, and says it’s her Pledge to him and everything he stands for. She goes inside, and he smiles behind her back. She says, it’s so quiet, and wonders where everyone went. He says they went to a rally in Beecher’s Corners. Normally, he’d be there, but her Pledge requires his special attention. He listens to what she’s recorded.

Anna tells Finn that she has no way of knowing how Cabot’s procedure worked, but guesses it’s a memory that Alex wouldn’t be strong enough to carry on her own; giving birth to a son, and giving him up for adoption. That’s the memory that was implanted; she knows it. She says she should hate Alex, but she doesn’t. She feels kind of sorry for her.

Maxie says she hasn’t been in Paris in forever, and even then, it was only for work. Tell her about it. He describes some sights, and she says he’s using a lot of words she can’t pronounce (and I can’t type that fast). He says he’s talking about the stained glass. When the sun hits it; it’s stunning. He says they can get ice cream, and the best falafel she’s ever had. She says, dessert before lunch? She’s in. She wonders if they can get a croissant in there, and he says they can get one at the metro. She says, bread from a subway station? She’ll see. The attendant says they’re ready for take-off.

Sam asks Shiloh if there’s something wrong. He’d assumed the secret would be about her, but she says she’s already told him all her secrets. He says, it’s about Jason. That means Jason still matters to her. She says, of course (🍷). He’s Danny’s father. He’ll always be a part of her life, whether she likes it or not. Doesn’t it show him how far she’s willing go for him and DOD? She’s putting her own son’s father at risk. He says he’ll transcribe a copy for her to sign. Since she’s already made her financial contribution, they can start her initiation now.

Sonny tells Chase that they’re having a family gathering. He asks who Neil is, and Neil introduces himself, adding that he’s a psychologist. Sonny asks what brings Chase by, and he says he was looking for Kristina. Valerie got a call from her, saying she needed help. Sonny says they got things sorted out, but Chase wants to hear that from Kristina.

Carly says Josslyn will be happy to see Jax. He tells her to let Josslyn rest. Carly says she hasn’t done a lot of that lately. It’s been heart breaking for her, but she’s she’s been strong and so brave. Jax wonders where she gets it from. Carly wishes she could do more to get Josslyn through it, but Josslyn won’t let her. She had to experience all of it. Jax says she’s done more than she knows, and Carly says so has he. He made time to speak to Josslyn every night. She’s sure the time difference made it complicated. She thinks the distance made him a safe place for Josslyn to stay. She could describe Oscar to someone who wasn’t there watching him die. He says he struggled about whether he should get on a plane immediately, but she thinks it was more helpful to wait. He did the right thing, the best thing, by showing up now. Josslyn needs her dad.

Finn asks how Anna feels, and she says it’s complicated. She’s relieved that it wasn’t her who put on a wig and went to Faison. He was a monster. Now she knows she never… Finn says, it’s a huge plus. He can’t imagine how she must have felt; how freaked out and panicked she was. She says, technically, she can, but it wasn’t her; it was Alex. The irony is, Valentin suspected it. When they had that conversation. he never said if it was Alex or her. She never thought she’d be saying this, but she should have listened to him.

Willow and Michael sit outside Kelly’s. Willow says, it’s comfortable. Opening up to him about the pain of missing her son, and now it’s same way. It’s mortifying that she could ever think of being with Shiloh. Michael says he forced her to do something she’d never do on her own, and not to blame herself or think she chose it. It was completely wrong. He suggests maybe she should talk to somebody. He had a similar experience, and didn’t want talk to anyone, but it helped. She says she’ll look into it. Nina approaches their table.

Kristina tells Chase that she just needed get away for a few days. Alexis says Neil was available for some much needed counseling. Kristina says she feels better now, and Chase says there were some concerns, so he was following up. Kristina says she’s right there. She’ll call Valerie when she goes home. Chase says, sorry to bother them, but Alexis says, no apology necessary. After Chase is gone, Neil tells Alexis that her family is adept at… Alexis says, lying? He says he was looking for a more delicate word, but yes. Kristina asks if Alexis rented out her room, or put in a home gym. Alexis says Kristina knows she doesn’t work out. They hug.

Jax tells Carly, it appears congratulations are in order. She thanks him, and he asks when she’s due. She says, late September, early October. He asks if there will be the same complications as with Josslyn, but she says, not this time. She’s being monitored carefully, and she’s eating super healthy. He’d be proud. He says it explains what was going on with Josslyn. She asks what he means, and he says a few weeks ago, during the Niagara Falls incident, he sensed she wanted tell him something, but she didn’t say anything. Carly says, Josslyn has been caught up in everything Oscar. If she has an opinion, she didn’t share it. He says he can lecture her, but she says, please don’t. He’s happy for them, especially Josslyn. After the loss she’s suffered, she gets a new person to love. Carly thanks him for being so wonderful. Jason comes in, and tells Jax that Milo said he was there. He asks if it’s a bad time, but Jax says it gives him a chance to say hi, and thank him.

Shiloh tells Sam, typically, for the initiation, she’d wear a special garment, and her fellow Trust members would be there. Sam is glad it’s just the two of them, and he says he is too. He holds out the cup, saying, something to calm her nerves. She asks if she seems nervous, and he says, no. She tells him that she doesn’t need that. She wants to be fully aware of everything he has planned, and experience it all. He says there will be pain, but she thinks she can handle it. She reclines on the pillows, and he promises, the discomfort will pass, and be followed by pleasure.

Jax says it’s good to see Jason. Carly was thrilled when she found out he was alive. She says, thrilled and grateful he’s been there for her. She’s especially grateful he’s been there for Josslyn. He’s been great, giving her someone to really talk to. She melted down on him. He’s been a good friend. Jax knows what a good friend he is to have, and on behalf of their daughter, thanks him. Jason says they don’t have to thank him. Josslyn is amazing. She’s confident, determined, and one of the bravest people he knows. She’s like Carly in a bunch of ways, but he sees a lot of Jax; compassion, joy, and kindness. Carly says, excuse me? She’s joyful and kind. She’s as joyful as you can get. They just look at her, and she says, what?

Nina tells Michael that she’s sorry to hear about his cousin. Such a tragedy; he was so young. She asks how Josslyn is, and Michael says, hanging in there. It’s very difficult for her. Nina asks him to give his family her condolences. She says, on that note, Sasha is doing great. She thanks him for coming see Sasha, and Michael says he might have given her that cold. Nina is glad they’re both on the mend. Michael asks Willow if she wants coffee, and Willow says, that would be great. He goes inside, and Nina wonders if she’s misreading the situation. Willow asks what she’s talking about, and Nina says Willow knows exactly what she’s talking about.

Anna tells Finn that she can practically pinpoint the time she was taken to the cabin. After Peter was born, and the adoption was arranged in Brussels. Finn says, it makes sense. Anna says it must have been the thing resonating with Alex at the time the transfer happened. It would have been at the top of her mind, and explains why it was given to her. She has to hand it to Cabot; it really worked. Even though she knows it’s Alex and not her who gave birth to Peter, it doesn’t change any visceral feelings. She can remember the creaky stairs, the smell of the room, the midwife. She’s glad it was her sister, but it still feels like it was her. Finn says, in her heart, she still feels like Peter’s mother? and she says, yeah, she does, and she doesn’t want him to know she’s not.

Maxie tells Peter about going to dinner at an out of the way place. It only had eight tables, and the best escargot. He says escargot along with her, and tells her it’s his favorite restaurant in Paris – La Petite Cote, the little cave. Maxie can’t believe it. He asks when she was there, and she says, seven years ago for Fashion Week. He says he was there in the spring of 2012. Imagine if they’d met. Maxie wonders if they would have liked each other, and he says he probably would have asked her out. She says she probably would have said yes, and suggests they’d have gone to dinner at La Petite Cote. He says, that’s a fifth date spot. She says then they would have gone somewhere flirty and superficial. Then she would have gone back to the states, and they would probably have never seen each other again. He’s glad it didn’t work that way. He’s glad they got know each other’s hearts first. Maxie excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

Michael gets a text from Sonny – Your sister is back. Thank Willow. Outside, Nina says, Michael’s cousin just died, and Willow says, it’s awful. She tells Willow, to save this wrist on forehead for her boyfriend Chase. Willow asks if Nina is accusing her of hitting on Michael. Nina says she knows women like Willow. They play the victim, and need attention from men. She scored with Chase, and now she needs Michael to fill the bill? Willow says, that’s ridiculous, and Nina says, it’s true. As women, they know what’s going on. She needs to content herself with the one she has, and leave Michael alone.

Kristina asks Alexis if it’s cool if she comes home for a while. Alexis wants her to live there forever. Kristina is embarrassed, but Alexis tells her, don’t be. Only Shiloh should be embarrassed. Sonny says Shiloh will never be able to hurt her again, and Kristina hugs him.

Carly asks Jason if he’s heard anything about Kristina. He says he’s still waiting, and Jax asks, what’s going on? Carly says, Kristina got herself involved in a cult. It’s a long story, but Sonny and Alexis are trying to snap her out of it. They’re praying it works. Jason says if that wasn’t the case, the whole family would be there for Josslyn. Carly thanks Jax again for coming. If the family can’t be there for Josslyn, it’s probably for the best. Josslyn needs to be with a parent, not her crazy extended family. Jason gets a text – All good with Kristina. You’re clear to get Sam. Jason tells them, everything is good. He just came by to see if they needed anything. He leaves, and Jax says he’s sorry about Kristina. Carly says, it’s all right now. Jax says Sonny and Alexis are looking after their daughter. Now they need to look after theirs.

Anna tells Finn, if it was up to Robert, he’d have her tell Peter immediately. He hates Peter. He can’t forgive what Peter did, and the fact that he’s Faison’s son. It’s her biggest challenge. He’s hard headed and stubborn, and she can’t do that to him. She doesn’t want to. Finn says, then don’t. The reality is that she doesn’t know if any of this is true.

Finn asks, does she know what happened? In her heart she does, but can she show him facts? She can’t because there are none. She asks if he doesn’t believe what she’s saying. He says that’s not what he means. He lived through it with her, but there’s no medical proof that Peter was the memory transfer. And at the end of the day, that’s the story she can tell herself. There’s no proof.  She smiles, and thanks him.

Maxie tells Peter that she’s just excited to get there, and asks where they’re staying. Left Bank? Right Bank? Not that it matters. He says maybe she’s not ready for the plane trip and knowing hearts. He doesn’t want her feel like she needs to fake it or force herself to have a good time. Maybe it’s too much too soon. It’s okay. She frowns at him.

Carly says Josslyn must be catching up on weeks of sleep. Jax says she must be exhausted. Oscar’s death is going to hit her all over again. Carly says she’s probably dreaming Oscar is still alive. Jax says Josslyn was never in denial about Oscar’s prognosis. Carly says, she understood, but like with any other life altering event, you can prepare and accept it… Jax says, until it happens. Carly says Josslyn was so calm and proactive. She helped nurse Oscar through his seizures, and never lost it. I beg to differ, but I’ll let it pass. Carly says Josslyn and Oscar had a forward momentum; they had a plan. Jax says she told him about the list. Carly says, on the last day, Josslyn had a book Oscar never read, and she got to reading it to him. She had a purpose, and now she has to figure out what life looks like without Oscar, and what it means to her. Jax says, maybe she’ll do nothing at first. Carly says, or be overreactive, like her mother. Carly wants to guide her, and help her get through it. Jax says the most important thing is for them to be present. They can take their cues from Josslyn, and if she goes too far off the rails, they’ll intervene.

Chase sees Willow, and tells her that he saw Kristina. Michael comes out of Kelly’s, and says he has great news. Chase says he does too. He found Michael’s sister.

Kristina can’t believe she’s thanking Sonny for having his henchmen kidnap her and take her to a safe house until she came to her senses, but she is. Sonny says, without incriminating himself, in his business, he has the power to intervene on his family’s behalf. He’ll never regret having that power. Alexis doesn’t think they should discuss crimes. Sonny and Kristina both say, alleged crimes. Alexis tells Neil, welcome to her world, and Neil says, what a colorful world it is.

Jason peeks into the window at DOD. He tries the door, but it’s locked.

Anna tells Finn that he’s right. He says, of course (🍷). She says, pinning all this on Peter isn’t fair. She’s the only mother he knows. She thinks that she could love him like a son, and maybe if he hangs around long enough, they could have a real relationship. Finn says, maybe Peter will realize how lucky he is to have her in his life. She says she knows who she’s lucky to have. He looks around, and says, oh, him. She thanks him, and tells him that she can’t say it enough. They hold hands.

Peter says he’ll tell the pilot to turn around, and Maxie says, sit. He does, and she says, if they turn around, and he takes her to Paris next week and not today, she’ll regret it for the rest of her life. She knows she’s nervous; her rambling proves it. He says, what rambling? and she says, embarking with him on whatever this might be, means Nathan and the life they shared together is over. She’s learned nothing good happens if you stay paralyzed. You have to be willing to take a leap. She’s ready. That’s why she’s there. She knows this is right, and knows how they feel about each other. She doesn’t want the plane to turn around. He kneels in front of her, and kisses her. She thanks him for taking her to Paris, and he thanks her for taking a leap.

Willow is relieved Kristina is out of the DOD situation, and Michael says, thanks to her. Chase says he didn’t want to get Michael’s family in trouble. Shiloh is bad news, and if he got his hooks back into her, it could have ended worse; not just for her, but Willow. He wasn’t trying to be a jerk. He’s happy it worked out. Michael says they had different methods, but wanted the same thing. He’s grateful for the both of them. He leaves, and Chase says, what a day. What scared him most was that if Sonny and his family were busted for kidnapping, she would be there. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to her. She thanks him for caring, and looking out for her, but she would gladly have taken that risk if it meant getting Kristina away from Shiloh. Chase says, it must be nice, and she says, it feels good. Like she’s finally back in charge of her own life. She’s happy she did it. He’s happier it’s behind them. She says, her too, and they kiss.

Carly says, grief is a journey. It’s like walking through the woods in the dark. You know there’s another side, but you have to go through it. Jax says Josslyn can do it, and if not, they’ll be there for her. Carly asks if he wants her to book a room at the MetroCourt, friends and family discount. He says it’s already booked, and she says, of course (🍷). She asks how long he’s staying in Port Charles, but he’s not sure. He’s working out the details. She asks if he’s staying a while, and he says, that’s the plan.

Sonny asks if they’re ready to go. Alexis says she’ll be right behind them. She thanks Neil, and says she doesn’t know what… She knows they couldn’t have gotten through it without him. He’s glad Kristina is safe, and she says that makes two of them. He tells her, this is just the beginning. The work just started. She says, whatever it takes, and he says, he has no doubt.

Shiloh says, ready? We hear the buzz of the tattoo tool. Sam smiles, and says, yeah; she’s ready. He dips another tool into the ink.

Jason kicks in the door.

Tomorrow, Carly asks if Sonny and Jax are getting along, Valerie tells Brad that DOD is bad news, Kim wants to talk to someone about her son, and Jason takes out his gun.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, my heart had been ripped from my chest as Derrick showed Hanna his lion tattoo.  The tattoo of the man who raped her. The man who is Candace’s father. She backed away, as he sobbed, reminding us all of how unfair life is.

He says he was nineteen. He didn’t even remember her. He knows that’s bad to say, but he didn’t. He was so high; he didn’t even remember. He went to jail that night for robbing a liquor store. He prayed to find the woman he did that too, but he didn’t know it was her. He asks her to please forgive him. He’s so sorry. She tells him not to come near her. He keeps asking her to forgive him, and she tells him, go – now. Benny comes in and asks, what’s going on? Hanna says, nothing, but Benny says, it doesn’t look like nothing. Hanna says Derrick was just leaving, and Benny says he’ll watch him leave.

When Derrick is gone, Benny asks, what happened? She was so happy a while ago. She tells him to drop it. They’re going to see if get a notary to come there and sign the papers in the morning. He asks what about the interest? but she says they’re not going to do that.

Justin stands in front of Jeffrey with a broken bottle to his own neck. Jeffrey tells Justin, stop it; don’t do it. Justin asks why Jeffrey is making this so hard. He gave up everything. Jeffrey says he’s sorry, but he’s not doing anything. He asks Justin to put the broken bottle down. He does, and hugs Jeffrey. He doesn’t know why no one loves him. Does Jeffrey love him? Jeffrey says he does, and Justin tells him, prove it. Stay with him tonight. Jeffery suggests starting with dinner. Justin says he can cook. Jeffrey thinks Justin should talk to someone, and wants them to go together. Justin asks, like couples therapy? Jeffrey says, kind of. He thinks Justin should go first; he’s a little obsessed. Justin says Jeffrey made him that way, and they’ll talk about it later. Jeffrey agrees.

Jeffrey picks up the broken glass. Justin goes in the kitchen, and Jeffery texts Madison the address. Justin brings out more wine. He asks who Jeffrey was texting, and Jeffrey says his dad. He didn’t want David to worry. He doesn’t know Jeffrey is there. Justin says good; David hates him. He says Jeffrey knows what David did to him. Jeffrey says he’s sorry, and Justin thanks Jeffrey for loving him.

Madison’s phone rings. It’s David. He tells David he’ll be right there, and David tells him hurry. He asks if Madison knows where Jeffrey is, but Madison says he doesn’t. Madison asks another nurse, if she had a friend in trouble, and the friend’s father could help him, would she let the father know? She asks if he’s an adult. Madison says, yeah. She says he should tell Jeffrey’s father. He asks how she knows it’s Jeffrey, and she tells him that he’s not good at this. Madison says he did it in the past, and Jeffrey got mad. She says, he’s grown. Madison can’t make him do what he doesn’t want to, and neither can his father. Madison has to go change David’s bandages. She tells him if he thinks Jeffrey is in danger, he should say something. She asks, is it life or death? He says, could be, and she says, then do something.

Jim tells Kathryn that he can’t get Veronica on the phone. They’re going to jail. Kathryn says he’s been there before, and he says she’s not taking him seriously. She says she’s taking him with a shot of vodka, and goes upstairs. His phone rings. It’s Mitch. He wonders who Mitch is, and Mitch says, Malone. He was at the house with Benny. Jim says, Mama Rose’s grandson. Mitch says he has a problem. Jim says he has a lot of problems; be more specific. Mitch says his son. His uncle knows it was him. Jim acts ignorant, and Mitch asks if he wants to play games. Wyatt did what he did to Mitch’s uncle, and they have a hit on him. Jim asks if Rose put the hit on Wyatt, and Mitch says, no; they’ve tried to keep it from her. There were a couple of guys in jail trying to hit him. His uncle wants blood, but Mitch thinks he can get him to not do anything. He needs to speak with Jim, but in the meantime, he’s to keep his son out of sight. Mitch hangs up, and Jim says, what the hell?

Hanna takes a pill, as we all would. She calls Kathryn and says she’s not good. Kathryn says Jim won’t come near her. Hanna asks if Kathryn set her up, putting her in the brownstone, and giving her a makeover? Kathryn asks what Hanna is talking about, and Hanna says, Derrick. Did she know he was in jail? Kathryn says, yes, and Hanna asks why Kathryn didn’t tell her. Kathryn says Derrick has worked for her for years, and he’s a changed man. Hanna asks if she knows what he was in for, and Kathryn says, armed robbery. Hanna asks, is that all? Kathryn is sorry she didn’t tell Hanna, but he’s a really good man. Hanna says, he raped her. Kathryn says she’s calling the police, but Hanna says, not now; years ago. Kathryn is shocked, and asks how Hanna knows. Hanna says she saw his tattoo, and he told her he did it. Kathryn says, oh my God, and Hanna replies, that’s what she said. She says, it was a long time ago. The thing is, that makes him Candace’s father. Kathryn says, this is too much. Hanna says, she was raped and got pregnant. She’ll never forget his lion tattoo. It’s all she could see. She never wants to see him again, and tells Kathryn not to send him over. Kathryn says she won’t, and asks if Candace knows. Hanna says, she knows about the rape, but doesn’t know about him. Kathryn apologizes again, and Hanna says she didn’t know. Kathryn says she’s coming over, but Hanna says, it’s over. She tells Kathryn that a notary is coming in the morning, and to tell her husband. Kathryn says she’s not telling him a damn thing. Hanna says, tell Jim so he’ll leave her son alone, and Kathryn says, okay, and tells Hanna to call if she needs anything. This is just so sad.

Kathryn calls Derrick, and leaves a message for him to call her.

At the White House, the President (whose name I still don’t know, and apparently, neither does IMDb) toasts to new blood. First Lady Margaret says she likes Candace, and Candace thanks her. Margaret asks how they met. Landon starts talking, but the President says, no spin. He wants to hear it from Canace. Candace says they met at the hotel. She was studying in the lobby while she was waiting for her room. She walked over, and said hello, not knowing he was running for President. He had his hat pulled low, and said, hi… Charles finishes, I don’t need another drink. Candace says he thought she was a waitress. Then a guy tried to hit on her, and he came to her rescue. They started talking, have been together ever since. They President says, it’s getting late. They should wrap it up. He thanks them for coming, and tells Candace that she’s lovely. On his way past Candace’s chair, he whispers that she’s a hot piece of Black ass. Candace asks if there’s a restroom, and Margaret shows her the way.

David asks why Madison is so late. Madison says he had to take a cab. He’s having car issues. David is on edge, and Madison asks if he’s in pain. David says, always, but Madison sees he’d been drinking, and can’t give him something. David asks if he knows where Jeffrey is, but he says he doesn’t. David asks Madison to call Jeffrey now. He gets voicemail, and David says call from his phone.

Justin brings the food out. Jeffrey’s phone rings, but Justin tells him not to answer. Jeffrey says he needs to make sure his dad is okay. Justin gets pushy, and asks for the phone. He grabs it, and says, look; it stopped ringing. It’s okay. Can they please have a nice dinner? He’s been through a lot, and would like it to be just them. if it’s important, he’ll call back. Justin tells Jeffrey, dig in.

Madison tells David that Jeffrey still isn’t answering. David asks if he’s with that boy, but Madison says he doesn’t know. The last time he told David what Jeffrey was up to, Jeffrey got upset. He’s not getting in the middle of this. David says, so Jeffrey is with that boy. He’s dangerous. Madison says he knows, and David asks, how? Madison says Justin destroyed his car. He threatens and manipulates Jeffrey. David asks if Jeffrey is at Justin’s apartment. Madison tells David that Jeffrey said he was going there, and texted the address. He begs David not to tell Jeffrey. David tells him hurry with the bandages.

Charles tells the President that it was a great dinner. The President looks at him weird, and he says, sir? The President says, now that everyone is gone, he has something to tell Charles. They don’t like him, or Candace. They think he’s an arrogant a-hole who won be default. Even before he won, the party was planning his demise. He tells Charles, enjoy his four years. Margaret comes back, and says Candace is a gutter trash girl – God bless America. They leave, and Charles looks stunned. Landon comes in.

Some women walk past the restroom, and one says, he’s going to screw this country up. Another says, but at least he has a hot tart to screw. After they’re gone, Candace comes out of the bathroom. Landon asks if Charles is okay. Charles says, yeah, and suggests they get the hell out. Landon says it’s his new home, but Charles says, it’s not the place. The people left a foul taste in his mouth. Candace joins them, and he says, let’s get out of here.

Veronica finds RK in her living room, and tells him to get the hell out of her house. He says, fine, and starts to leave. He says he’s almost to the door, and she tells him, get to it. He says he’s not coming back, and she says, wait. He says he knew she didn’t want him to leave. She asks if he has her jewelry. He says that’s what he wanted to talk to her about. She says, if he doesn’t, guess what’s going to happen? He’s going to jail. He says he tried to get it back; he sort of sold it. She says, that’s his ass, and he says they’re better than this. She suggests he enjoy his last few moments of freedom. He says maybe he can work it off. He knows her fantasies and what she wants. He thinks it’s a good trade. She calls him a child. She says she’s a grown-ass woman, and he’s terrible in bed. He tells her, some people need to be taught. She says she asked him one thing, to get her son’s attention, and he couldn’t do that. He says that’s not him, and she says that’s not her son either. He knows she wants him all to herself. She asks if he wants breakfast, but remembering the grits, he says, no; he’s good. She says she told him to get her jewelry, but he says, they don’t got it. Veronica makes a call, and says she’d like to report a burglary. He says he can make her feel good. She says her husband’s coming back, and RK says they can give him a show. She tells the police, never mind, and says so she wants to be taught. She laughs.

The Attorney General asks the President if the guests have left. The President gets him a drink, and he asks if the President called her a hot piece of Black ass. The President says he should have seen the look on her face. The AG says he would have paid to see it, and the President says he should have come. The AG says, no. He wants to blindside the bitch who robbed him. The President can’t believe this is it. They had a good eight years. The AG says, not all of them, and the President says, every President has his thing.  The AG asks how he thinks the new administration will do, and the President says Charles is an arrogant snot-nosed kid. The party is ready to take him down, but he’s been pretty clean up until this. The sad thing is, he thinks Charles likes her. Why the hell else would he bring a whore into the dining room? The AG says they’ve all done it, but the President says, not before taking office. The AG says he can’t overlook what she did to him. The President says she has no idea who she pissed off. The AG says, no, she doesn’t, and she’ll regret it. He’s going to devastate that bitch whore, and take down the President Elect at the same time. They drink to the hell coming Charles’s way.

In the limo, Candace’s phone rings. She tells Charles, it’s her brother; she’ll call him later. Charles asks if she’s okay, and she asks if she embarrassed him when she was at the table. She heard them talking about her. Charles tells her, before they left, the President said he can’t stand Charles, and wants him to fail. She says, they seemed nice, but he says, they’re playing a game. Don’t fall into it. Rise above it. She says, when they go low, she goes lower, and they laugh. He says he needs her to keep him sane. She says she’ll keep him sane, all right, and he bets she will. She says she couldn’t leave him with those fools. He says she makes him so happy, and she tells him that he’d better remember that when she has to choke one of those ho’s. They kiss, and she asks if he’s done it in a Presidential motorcade. She doesn’t think he would, but he says there’s a lot she needs to learn about him. He tells the driver, the hotel.

Jeffrey tells Justin, the alfredo sauce is good. There’s an insistent knock at the door, and David tells Jeffrey to open it. Justin asks how he knew, but Jeffrey doesn’t know. Justin tells him, hide in the bathroom. To my surprise, he does. David continues banging, and I’m thinking, unless Justin clears the dishes, David will know someone is there. Justin opens the door, and David asks where his son is. Justin says, he’s not there, and David pushes past him. Justin says, coming in? and David says, damn right.

Justin says he’s been waiting for this moment, and puts a gun to David’s head. David asks what the hell he’s doing, and Justin says, breaking and entering. He’s got David now.

Next time, Wyatt hunts his family with a rifle, and Mitch tells Benny that his uncle will break Benny’s legs, and still want the money.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I heard LVP isn’t even in this episode. Why bother? Oh wait, I can make fun of Teddi. And Dorit. And…

Teddi tells Kyle, no glam squad. Kyle says, if a bear sees you, you have to be cute.

Harry wonders why LisaR is bringing ten pairs of shoes for one night. She says she needs a hair dryer, and he asks if there’s going to be electricity on the trail. She says the most important thing, and adds a bottle of wine. He tells her that she has a bag for three weeks. She says she’s totally prepared, just in case.

Teddi says being outdoors in LA means wearing full-face makeup and not being outdoorsy at all. LisaR says she’s nervous, but it’s good. In her interview, Kyle says she likes to be prepared. She has a machete, tick spray, and an epi-pen.

The women meet at Teddi’s. Erika is the first to arrive, followed by Kyle, who tells them that she got a text from PK. He said he was just joking around. She wishes Dorit had handled it better, instead of making excuses. She told him that she lets go of things easily, it’s done, and thanked him for the text. She doesn’t know if there will be residual feelings from Dorit.

In her interview, Erika says she’s been camping her whole life; she’s a tomboy. In Dorit’s interview, she’s hoping to enjoy the great outdoors, and not have any tension with Kyle on the trip. They get into the RV where there’s a spread waiting. Camille is the last to get there. In her interview, Denise says she’s heard Camille talk about the other women, and doesn’t think she’ll shut up during the trip. She wonders if it’s gong to be another trip where everything goes sideways, or will they have a good time?

Erika says she wanted to be a truckdriver or a Playboy bunny when she was young. The women are already freaking out about various aspects of being outside, and in her interview, Erika says, these chicks are having a meltdown, and they haven’t even left LA. They discuss sleeping arrangements, and stop at a grocery store for dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast. Teddi says all they need are hot dogs, hamburgers, and alcohol. LisaR suggests donuts, and Dorit says everyone is grabbing things like it’s Armageddon. In LisaR’s interview, she says they need the whole camping experience of food. She puts Cheetos in the cart. Denise asks if they think they’re good for one night, and the tab comes to over $600. In Teddi’s interview, she doesn’t understand, since they won’t even use half of it.

Ventura ranch KOA. Deer! Peacocks! LisaR says it’s way better than she expected. It’s like glamping. No kidding. Those tents are more like hotel rooms. I’m not sure why they even brought an RV. In her interview, Erika wonders if there’s a dead body in LisaR’s bag. Vanderpump? Edwin’s assistant Michelle has come along, although no one explains why. LisaR unpacks. She’s going to change since she has so many choices.

Beer Pong is set up. Erika feels a little old to be playing that, and goes for a massage. Yeah, real camping. No one seems to know how to play Beer Pong, even a little bit, although Dorit scores some points. In her interview Teddi says, for a woman who has a lot of opinions on stemware, Dorit knows her way around a Solo cup.

Teddi asks if Kyle regrets going to see LVP. Dorit doesn’t know why LVP is angry with her. Teddi says Dorit was the one LVP was originally angry at. It was her punishment. Erika comes back in a golf cart, saying she really needed that. Denise asks how her face looks so good. LisaR says she can’t afford to squish her face, even for a massage. Don’t they have an opening for your face in the table? Dorit says as far as LVP goes, LVP drew a line in the sand. She couldn’t have made it clearer. Erika says, if you want to be an a-hole be an a-hole. She cares about the women who showed up. She never bought it, and never will. That’s how she feels. IN her interview, she says it’s like the queen who shows you the apple. Want some? Kyle misses her, but Teddi says it was her choice. Dorit says she gave them a fait accompli. She made it clear. Erika says her life will be fine without that bitch. Sorry, but not really.

They go hiking, and Kyle says she has a phobia about ticks. In Kyle’s interview, she says she likes being in the outdoors, but her husband always tries scaring her, saying there will be bugs. She just doesn’t like spiders, snakes, or any kind of bug. She clicks some sticks together, saying it calls the deer, which is news to me. Climbing instructor Forrest meets them. They harness up and climb a fake wall in the middle of a park that probably has real walls to climb. Teddi, Dorit, and Erika go first. In Erika’s interview, she says Dorit looks like Spiderman, and she’s impressed. In Teddi’s interview, she says Dorit kicked her butt rock climbing. Camille tells them the harness is like a strap-on. In her interview, she tells us that she and her ex did kinky sexy play. It’s what we do for the people we love. I don’t. Kyle, Camille, and LisaR go next. Kyle doesn’t like heights, and wonders why she’s climbing a fake rock. Peer pressure is ridiculous. When she thinks how high up she is, she gets scared. In her interview, she says her entire body goes numb. We flash back to her hanging back from looking at a view from a tower and being in a sky car. Kyle has enough, and goes back down.

Dinner is prepared. LisaR gets a massage. Denise says she used to be a vegetarian up until a few months ago. In her interview, she says up until she met Aaron, she was a vegetarian. Lola was devested when she found out Denise ate meat, like she’d been doing drugs. Dorit tells them, plastic on the grill isn’t a good idea. Wow. Even I know that. In Dorit’s interview, she says, these girls don’t belong anywhere near a fire. They’re going to kill somebody, if not themselves. They make a mess of a hamburger that totally falls apart. Teddi comes back, tells them they’re fired, and finishes the grilling. LisaR returns, and can’t believe they’re already eating.

Kyle asks Camille how she’s feeling about the wedding, and she says she can’t wait. Denise and Erika can’t go, and she says LVP didn’t come to her bridal shower, so she doubts LVP is coming to the wedding. Teddi says she’s reached out and done what she can. If she really cares, don’t text. Call if she really wants LVP there. In Camille’s interview, she says Teddi is inserting herself into a conversation where she shouldn’t necessarily be involved. Teddi says, it’s Camille’s big day. and the people there should be there for her. In her interview, Camille finds Teddi being a know-it-all irritating. I think Teddi’s problem might be that she thinks she’s still at work when she’s with her friends. I find her irritating too, and if she tried to accountability coach me when I didn’t ask for advice, I’d be tempted to smack her.

Teddi builds a fire (sounds like a children’s book). Kyle calls her Grizzly Adams. Denise comes back from her massage, and they talk about happy endings. Denise says Aaron never had one, so they went on a hunt. Everyone is shocked, and Teddi says Denise has a fetish. What? I guess she even knows it all about things she doesn’t know. Denise says she doesn’t. Aaron was the only dude she knew who never had one. He was mortified. In Kyle’s interview, she says if anyone went near her husband like that, they’d lose an arm, and he’d lose an important appendage. In Dorit’s interview, she says, it will never happen, PK. In Teddi’s interview, she says, her husband’s happy ending would have a happy removal shortly afterward. Erika says she never heard Tom say he had one, but she knows he was a young man once. Because she’s an unfiltered moron, LisaR asks if Denise watched, and Denise says, no! nearly spitting out her drink. Kyle asks if Denise has had one. Denise says she has, but didn’t plan for it. It just happened. She says she’s feeling judged. In her interview, LisaR says, if that’s what your freak flag wants to do, fly it. Just don’t get arrested. Erika asks why everyone is acting like nuns. In Denise’s interview, she says Aaron might be upset that she revealed this information. LisaR asks, who else has secrets? Because this is just the venue you’d want to reveal them in. Camille says she was in a relationship for three years in NYC, and they had incredible sexual encounters. She then explains how to massage a prostate, and we’ll leave it at that. Dorit asks who wants a drink. At this point, me.

Camille says it seems better with Kyle and Dorit. Dorit says PK sent her a text, and she doesn’t think what he said was malicious. Once again inserting herself, Teddi says, not malicious, but deliberate. Dorit comes back with drinks, and Kyle says they were talking about PK and the other night. He sent her a text. Dorit says, in the beginning she said she appreciated how Kyle felt. She thought they were good. Kyle tells her, men say stupid sh*t sometimes. Well, that about sums it up. Is it time to go home? Teddi says, even if it’s not malicious, he’s covering his own ass. The backtracking didn’t go well. In her interview, Camille says, Teddi has an answer for everything. That’s what I mean. I’m not defending her at all – she’s annoying as hell – but it’s what she does for a living and can’t turn it off. Teddi thinks he was acting out because of how he felt about the whole situation. Dorit doesn’t think it helps to be unfair afterward. Teddi says it wasn’t about Kyle, but Dorit doesn’t think so. Camille agrees. She says Teddi is knowledgeable for her age, but inserts herself where she doesn’t belong. Teddi hates people who talk down to her. Camille says sometimes she inserts herself in conversations that have nothing to do with her. Like after PK made the remark to Kyle. We flash back to her doing that. Camille says, it upset Dorit. Teddi tells her, stick to the storyline. Does she mean stay in her lane? Stay on topic? What? It sounds like it doesn’t apply. Teddi says she doesn’t like to be talked down to. The way she says Teddi is young, is passive/aggressive. Camille tells Teddi that she said Teddi pushed herself into a conversation between two of them. She sat there with LisaR, acting like she knew everything. Camille thought it was inappropriate, and she’s a bit of a know-it-all. Teddi says she noticed Camille likes to talk out of the side of her mouth, but backs down when she’s face to face. I dunno. I think Camille thinks out loud while she’s making up her mind. Teddi says she just expressed an opinion. Camille says Teddi thought there was a conspiracy going on. We flash back to Teddi thinking practically the entire season was manufactured by LVP. In Camille’s interview, she says, if you know that much, you don’t have to tell everyone how much you know. Wow. She’s right. LisaR says, this was all created by someone else, and Camille says, it’s like a toxic wave. Kyle can’t lie about what happened, but she still cares about LVP. She chose not to be there. Dorit says she had a friend who said there’s no friendship, and doesn’t love her. We flash back to how things ended with LVP. Then she had Kyle saying she had never heard LVP talk about Dorit. Kyle says she didn’t mean it that way. Denise thinks they should go onward and upward. Teddi says she’s not even drunk, and Erika says she’s drunk for her age. Ha-ha! Okay, that was funny. LisaR says, the sad part is, she’s the oldest in the group right now.

It’s morning, and Teddi goes for a run. Kyle says she’s a nut. LisaR says she had a dream that Kyle got Portia a squirrel. We see clips of Kyle planting fake spiders in the other so-called tents, and slipping a stuffed rat into LisaR’s tent. In her interview, Kyle says she never went to summer camp. Camille joins them, and it’s dead silent while they drink coffee. In Teddi’s interview, she says she’s not going down that rabbit hole. Erika puts whipped cream on a pumpkin pie, and forks the pie, not bothering to slice it. In her interview, she says, it’s the breakfast of champions. She ruins this by then eating Cheez-Wiz on crackers. Blech. It’s time to go, and I honestly don’t get it all this for one night. Seriously.

Back on the road, Kyle says she wants to do research on happy ending places. Erika says they’re all invited to her show on Sunday. She knows Camille is getting married, and Denise is filming, but the rest of them can bring their husbands if they want.

In her interview, Kyle thinks it helps relationships to get to a deeper place when they go on trips. Laughing, arguing, sharing things in a different place. You’re not getting that at a cocktail party. The women talk about social media, and Kyle says Instagram has changed since the Kardashians. And the ideal body type is unreal. LisaR says, it’s not an easy time to grow up. When they were growing up, they had a mirror to deal with. Now, there’s social media pressure to be perfect. In LisaR’s interview, she says her girls had a rough time. More than anything, she’s tried to teach them how to love themselves, no matter how they look. Kyle wonders if there’s more pressure in LA and Hollywood, but the others don’t know if that’s true anymore. Erika says she looks at herself like art. A project where she creates what she wants.

They sing Kumbaya, and Denise laughs.

Next time, LVP gets her new kitchen, Camille asks LVP to come to her wedding, and a disaster happens at Erika’s show.

🐲 In Case You Live Under a Rock…

Or just got online for the first time in your life today.

On Game of Thrones, Tormund informed Jon that only a madman or a king rides a dragon. The Hound said Sansa had changed, and also said, I told you so, but with more words. Gendry asked Arya to marry him and be the Lady of wherever he’s from, but she said she was never a lady and never would be. He didn’t give her the option of being a dude, so…  Jaime and Brienne had sex. I guess we can all die happy now. Dany was worried about having everything taken from her. She told Jon to never tell another soul who he really is. Even though he didn’t give a flying, she said it would take on a life of its own, no matter how many times he bent the knee. She told him the truth would destroy them, and even though she’d never begged for anything, she was begging for this. Since they had her help in the dead battle, Dany wanted Winterfell to reciprocate by going against Cersei. Bron proposed a plan to Tyrion and Jon, Sam and Jon promised they were BFFs for life, and everyone set sail for King’s Landing. Missandei and Grey Worm held hands on the boat. When Tyrion told him eight people knew about Jon’s lineage, Varys said it wasn’t a secret anymore, but an affirmation. No surprise, Cersei was a step ahead, and (sounds like) Urine Greyjoy was waiting with his own boats. I’ve about had it with CGI dragon abuse though, since we lost Dracarys. Needless to say, Dany was both pissed and vindictive, and Missandei was also lost in the battle. Cersei said their message was well received, and the head Sparrow, or whatever he is, said the people were glad for her protection. Cersei told the Greyjoy dude, well done, and talked about the child they were having. Cersei wasn’t worried about Dany coming for her, and was holding Missandei prisoner. This highly pissed off Grey Worm, who’d probably grieved for her already. Varys advised Dany against revenge. He begged her not to destroy the city she came to save, and become what she’s struggled to defeat. She said her destiny was to save the world from tyrants, and she’d do it if she had to kill a million innocent people first. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was the gist. Fight for peace. Varys asked Tyrion who would make the best ruler, and Tyrion said Jon didn’t want it. Varys asked how he knew it wasn’t someone who didn’t want it, and said Jon has what it takes. Tyrion believed his queen would make the right choice. Tyrion said most people claimed they didn’t care who sat on the throne, but Varys said if the wrong person did, it could cost those people their lives. He was loyal to the people, as I’d always thought. He said, each of them had a choice to make, and prayed they chose wisely. Brienne said Jaime was better than his sister. He’s a good man, but he couldn’t save her. He said he pushed a kid out a window and strangled his cousin with his bare hands. He wasn’t exactly a good guy. He went off to help Cersei, negating his pending good guy status, but I’m wondering if he might not sabotage her instead. Hey, I can dream. When Dany went to Kings Landing, I fully expected them to toss Missandei’s head out the door or throw her from a tower, but old guy Queen’s Hand came out to meet Tyrion. It kind of reminded me of the negotiations on Million Dollar Listing. Tyrion was like, work with me, help me here, and old guy was like, I’m just representing. Tyron was like, forget this, and went past him to his superior. He said he knew she didn’t care about her people, and they hate her, so what’s the difference? She always loved her children though, more than anything. Her reign was over, but that didn’t mean her baby had to die. I said to myself, you know she’s never giving in, and she confirmed that by saying now was the time for Missandei’s last words. Missandei looked at Grey Worm, and Cersei, who can’t do her own dirty work, had the Mountain chop Missandel’s head off, blending my predictions as her body fell from the rampart. This pissed Dany off even more, but she didn’t put a curse on Cersei in Dothraki as we all would have. She just stomped away. Then The Omen singers sang over the end credits.

🏆 And the Award For Snarkiest Recap Goes To…

I love them.


❓ I Have Some Answers…

In discussing why this season of GoT might suck, two reasons given were, Jon got rid of Ghost and Jaime left Brienne for Cercei. One, maybe Jon thought Ghost would be safer staying behind and we’ve already lost enough animals, plus a giant, and two, how do we know? We know what Jaime said, but how do we know?


☕ The Infamous Coffee Cup…

Uh-oh. Someone is in trouble. Probably the stage manager.



Nope. It’s Sansa who’s in trouble.


The final word.


The best quote.

The latte that appeared in the episode was a mistake, a spokesperson for the cable network said in a statement. Daenerys had ordered an herbal tea.

💃 My Feeling Upon Finishing This…

That was a lot of TV.








April 29, 2019 – A Trap Is Set For Ryan, Brittany’s Enchanted Forest, a Dark Game, a Quad of Views & Kitty’s Theme Game


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny makes lasagna, telling Jason that he cooks for Carly when he can. Sam comes in, and Sonny says he thought she was at DOD. She says she’s on her way, but wanted to stop there first. She heard the session with Kristina didn’t go well. Her mom said Sonny thought they were getting through, but then Kristina shut down. Sonny says, Shiloh did a number on Kristina. He asks if Sam found out where he keeps the Pledges. She says she’s getting there, and Sonny says they need her help to get Kristina’s Pledge back.

There’s a knock at the DOD door. Shiloh answers, saying they don’t have to knock. The door is always open. He introduces himself, and the man at the door says he’s Mark Turner. He walks in on incredibly loud shoes, and Shiloh asks what led him to them. Mark wonders where he begins. The theme from Love Story plays in my head.

Curtis phones Jordan to see how she’s doing. She says, good, adding that dialysis is just a small part of her life. Curtis says it’s vital to her existence, and she asks if he called to remind her. He says he called because he misses her. She says she misses him too, but she can survive a few days without him. He says she’s shattered his illusion, and she asks if he’s getting anywhere. He says the pharmacy break-in is a hot topic with local gossip, especially among the junkies. He found a user who might have something. A dude who looks like Jesus shows up, but says his name is Timmy. Curtis hands him breakfast.

Lucy sees Jordan, and tells her that a lot folks are still talking about Curtis’s big proposal at last year’s Nurses’ Ball. She’s wondering if he’ll perform his magic again this year. Jordan says he’s out of town, but she’ll check with him. Lucy wonders what about a magic act together? Franco approaches, saying he has an idea for a Nurses’ Ball number; it’s a duet. Lucy says, that’s sweet, but it might be dicey. Not that he isn’t talented, but it’s the whole murder confession thing. Jordan says he was an invaluable help to the PCPD, and without him, they might not have realized Doc was really Ryan.

At the cemetery, Lulu tells Laura that she pitched the exclusive interview with Ava to Peter, and he gave her the green light. Laura says, Ryan will definitely be following the Port Charles news. Lulu says first, they have to put Ava and Kevin together, and post it on the internet. Is Laura sure she’s ready for this? Laura says, let’s get it done, her new catch phrase. At the cemetery entrance, Felicia tells Mac this is a group effort, and they need him on the team. Mac says, after all she’s been through, she’s still committed? She says Ryan isn’t getting the jump on them this time. When he comes back, they’ll be ready. Ava arrives, and asks if everything is in place, and where the guest of honor is. Doc says, right here. Let’s give my brother the memorial he deserves.

Sam thinks Spinelli might be the right choice, but Jason says he was already involved, and someone might recognize him. Sonny tells her, if there’s any trouble, get the hell out. They also need to tell Kristina that what she said doesn’t matter; nothing can hurt him. Sam says she needs to get into the records, and has to go. Jason tells her, be careful, and Sonny says, good luck. She leaves, and Jason asks if there was any fallout after Kristina used the phone. Sonny says she eventually calmed down, and is with Neil. Jason says if anyone was looking for Kristina, they would have heard by now.

Mark says it was like Shiloh was speaking to him, and reads from Shiloh’s book. If you can’t find love outside of yourself, search inside. That’s why he’s there; Shiloh changed his life. Shiloh asks how he learned about them, and he says he saw Shiloh speak at the plaza. He was convinced when he saw how they reached out to the homeless, and he bought the book. He’s hoping he can learn to search inside too. Shiloh says, it’s an honorable goal. He wonders why Mark went to the seminar, and Mark says he told himself he wasn’t going to do this. Shiloh tells Mark, give the pain to him. Mark says his girlfriend left him. She said he was too clingy and dependent, with no job and no life of his own, and she’s right. He just wants to make people happy. Can Shiloh help him? Shiloh believes they can.

Jordan sees Margaux, and says despite the joint statement, Franco is still getting blowback of his false confession. Lucy asks Margaux if she has any special talents, and Margaux says she’s good at putting criminals away, but Lucy says she’s asking if Margaux sings, or does magic, or that aerial thing with silks. Margaux says she did synchronized swimming in college, and Lucy says she’ll get back to her on that. Ta! Jordan explains the Nurses’ Ball to Margaux. Margaux says she’s heading to the station, and says they can talk about whether another joint statement is necessary on the way. Jordan says she’s having coffee with her son. Margaux says, no offense, but Jordan doesn’t look good. Jordan jokes about forgetting to put on blush, and Margaux asks if she’s sure she’s okay. Chase and Valerie approach, and Valerie says they want to open an investigation. Chase tells them that Kristina has disappeared.

Felicia tells Laura that Doc loves her, and only her. Laura doesn’t like the situation, but she can do it. Ava says Ryan will lose what’s left of his mind when he sees her with Doc. Mac reminds them, crazy isn’t stupid. Ryan is never more dangerous than when his ego is bruised. Doc says this time; they have the upper hand. When he sees they’ve declared him dead, Ryan will think he’s in the clear, and return. Lulu says it will be covered by The Invader. She’s putting it up on the website, and guarantees it will be trending in no time.

Laura says there’s been evidence of a pharmacy break-in in the Niagara Falls Area. Drugs were taken that are the same ones you’d need if you lost a limb. Ava says, there are also the calls. It’s just breathing, but she’s sure it’s Ryan. Laura says the authorities have closed the case, but that doesn’t mean a PI can’t continue it. Curtis is up in Canada investigating the break-in. Doc says, until then, they have their own work to do.

Curtis tells Timmy that he just want information about the break-in at the pharmacy. Does he know about it? Timmy asks what’s in it for him, besides breakfast?

Jordan says she hasn’t heard anything about Kristina being missing. How long has it been? Chase says, more than 48-hours. Jordan suggests she took off; it’s not unheard of. Valerie says, except Kristina called her from a blocked number asking for help. That’s all she got out when the line went dead. If she called Valerie, Kristina must be in real trouble. They’ve been on the outs since Valerie criticized her friends. Jordan asks if Kristina is in with a bad crowd, and Chase says, yeah. Jordan asks where Kristina was last seen, and Chase says, she was at the DOD house.

Mark tells Shiloh that he wants to take as many classes as he can. Shiloh says Mark mentioned he didn’t have a job, and the class fees are on a sliding scale. Mark says his situation is just the opposite. His parents died in a car crash; the brakes were defective, and there was money from the car company. He’s an only child, so he got it all, but he’d give up everything to have his parents back, or if Gillian hadn’t left. In his book, Shiloh says perfect comfort is found in untold sacrifice. He thinks Shiloh can help him. Shiloh hopes so. Sam comes in, and Shiloh introduces their newest seeker, saying, he’s there for the introductory class. Sam hopes Mark gets as much out of it as she did. Mark asks if Shiloh will be there, adding he’s probably too busy. Shiloh says he enjoys watching new people find their path. He tells Mark to go in the back, where the other members are, and asks Sam if she’s heard from Kristina. Sam says their mom spoke to Kristina, and she’s still working things out. Shiloh hates that Kristina’s doubts got the better of her, but Sam says she’ll come back home after a while. Shiloh hopes it’s before Sam joins the Trust, and Sam says she was hoping the same thing. That’s why she’s there.

Neil comes by Sonny’s place. Sonny tells Neil coking relaxes him and helps him think. Neil says Kristina told him at length how she doesn’t blame Shiloh for her getting kidnapped. She kind of implied Jason is hard to catch. On one hand, she respects him, but on the other, she’s angry for him taking away the thing she wants. Jason asks if she still doesn’t know what would have happened, and Neil says she’ll only shut down. When she’s not isolating herself, she’s been playing board games with Max. They seem to have a good rapport. Sonny says, she’s known Max her whole life. Neil tells them that Kristina said she might be ready for another family meeting soon. He didn’t change her mind; Alexis did. Kristina witnessed Alexis breaking down. She saw Alexis’s distress, and is starting to realize they’re motivated by love. Sonny says, she’s got that right. Neil says he’s discovering that Kristina is a unique and intelligent woman. Underneath Shiloh’s dogma, she’s vibrant. Sonny asks if she mentioned anything about the Pledge she gave Shiloh.

Neil says she didn’t mention anything, but he doesn’t expect her to. Sonny says he thought they were starting to get through, and Neil says they’ve made inroads, but still have a long way to go. The closer Kristina gets to reclaiming herself, the worse she’s going to feel about the Pledge, especially if it incriminates Sonny. Sonny says, that’s impossible, and Jason says, Kristina doesn’t know about the business. Maybe she exaggerated or lied, but there’s no proof; nothing that can be takes to the cops. Sonny says, the worst that can happen is an investigation will be opened, but it won’t go anywhere. He thinks that should be explained to Kristina, but Neil asks, what if he’s wrong?

Sam tells Shiloh that she was going to suggest they go upstairs, but he has new seekers. He can’t abandon them, or they’ll be disappointed. He’ll see her afterward.

Jordan says DOD was on their on radar until Jason got picked up. Chase says Michael was worried about Kristina’s well-being. She was about to take a big step, having been chosen for some honor. Jordan asks what he means, and he says the group is secretive. Margaux says Jason was released because Shiloh insisted they let him go. She ask if Chase is sure Kristina’s family doesn’t know where she is.

Sam sneaks upstairs to Shiloh’s office, which seems pretty easy to get in with a bobby pin, so they’re not all that good at being secretive. She sees the files are color-coded, and says, why make it easy? She flips through the file folders, looks through one, shakes her head, and puts it back. She finds her own folder, and takes it out.

Timmy tells Curtis, breakfast is good, but Curtis has to make it worth his while if he wants Timmy to talk about the pharmacy job. Curtis guesses there’s no chance he’d do it to save people’s lives. Did he have anything to do with it? Timmy says someone wanted to hire him, but he turned them down. Curtis asks. what about the drugs that were stolen? He gets why someone would steal painkillers, but what about the other stuff? Was he keeping it for himself? Timmy says he didn’t do it. Curtis tells him, talk first; then he gets the money. Maybe he can give Curtis a theory. He hands Timmy a bill, and Timmy says he was given a list. Curtis hands him another bill, asking who the person was who gave him the list.

Franco shows up at the cemetery. He says when Ava said this was happening, he didn’t believe it. Why give that evil bastard a ceremony? Doc says, closure, and Ava says, to end the nightmare for good.  Franco says at least she’s given up on her ridiculous idea of luring him out of hiding. Laura says, good riddance. Doc says he wishes he’d healed Ryan, and they’d grown older together, like twins should. He was given the greater gift; intelligence and sanity, but failed Ryan. He had hoped Ryan could find peace, but maybe in death he’ll be healed; conquer his demons and find peace. Franco hopes he rots in hell, and from high above, Kiki gets to watch. Lulu films everything.

Laura says her daughter was stronger and smarter than Ryan. Her life is beginning, and his is over, thank God. He lost and they won. Felicia says Lulu beat him, and you know who else beat him. Her and Mac. All those times he said he was smarter than they were; who’s smarter now? He gave himself the punishment he deserves. They all step on the dirt. Ava says, Franco is right. He deserves to rot in hell for eternity, but her beautiful girl isn’t looking down on him. Heaven is filled with good things, and there’s no room for his memory. Kiki has forgotten him already. Like she will, as he deserves to be forgotten. Doc says amen. He puts his arm around Ava, and holds her. Franco is like, hmm… Lulu continues to film.

Curtis asks who hired Timmy. He says they didn’t have a business card. Curtis says they must have been in trouble, or injured. Give him something. Timmy says, it was a woman.

Jordan asks Valerie if she followed up, and Valerie says she went to the DOD house. Shiloh claimed he doesn’t know where Kristina is. Sam claims not to know either. Jordan asks if Sam seemed concerned, but Valerie tells her that Sam said Kristina was off somewhere to clear her head, and that Alexis had heard from her, but then why would she call asking for help? Margaux wonders if Alexis knows where she is. Chase thinks something is off, and people know more than they’re saying.

Neil says Kristina’s greatest asset is also her greatest liability. She knows her family loves her, and is acting in her best interest. If they confront her about the Pledge, and she admits she betrayed someone she loves, it will hurt her self-worth. The only thing worse, is if the person she betrayed is arrested and tried, causing lasting hurt. Sonny says, the chances are next to nothing, and Neil asks if he’s willing to bet Kristina’s future on next to nothing. Sonny says, no, and Neil tells him, don’t ask about the Pledge.

Sam goes through her own folder, and I tell her to stop lollygagging. Under her picture, it says, despite commitment issues, she’s likely worthy of the DOD Trust. She says, that’s right, Shiloh. Tell her his secrets so she can take him down. She sees a photo of when she was blindfolded, with Shiloh looking at her.

Sonny wonders if Kristina said anything about the phone call, but Neil says she only told him that she’d called a friend. Sonny asks if it was Shiloh or someone else from DOD. Neil tells Sonny, Kristina said it was someone she knew before DOD. Someone she had to cut ties with because of DOD. Her confession was full of regret. Jason says, Valerie Spencer, and Sonny says, that makes sense. Neil says Alexis heard her ask for help, but she didn’t have time to explain before they took the phone. If her friend suspects she’s being held against her will, they could call the police. Sonny says, the problem is, that Valerie is the police. She’s a detective with the PCPD.

Mark walks back into the living room with Shiloh. He says it seems so clear when Shiloh speaks. He’d like to hear more about cutting out negative people, and Shiloh says they can plan a course of study. Mark wonders where to start, and Shiloh says, the classes aren’t sequential. He can start where he wants. Mark also wants to volunteer. Can Shiloh show him online, or does he have an app? Shiloh says they don’t really post about those things. Mark bumps into another member, sending the books in his hands flying. Mark helps pick everything up. Shiloh asks the guy if he’s seen Sam. He has some new reading material for her from the library. The guy says he hasn’t, and Shiloh apologizes to Mark, saying he has to go. Mark asks if he can have a tour; he didn’t know there was a library. Shiloh suggests Mark stay for dinner, and afterwards, he’ll give Mark the grand tour. Shiloh extracts himself, and Mark sends a text. Upstairs, Sam looks on the back of the photo, and it says, it will be interesting to see what secrets she pledges. She takes out her phone, and reads a text that says, Shiloh looking for you. Get out now. I suspected Mark was working for her when he wouldn’t let Shiloh leave the room.

Jordan asks if Chase thinks Kristina’s family is involved, but Chase says, it’s so murky, he can’t tell. She hasn’t answered her phone in days. Margaux says she called Valerie, and Valerie says, it sounded like she got caught. She could be in danger. Jordan thinks they should open an investigation, but Margaux disagrees. Why waste time and resources? Alexis claims Kristina is away taking a breather. There’s no reason for an investigation. Maybe the call to Valerie was a prank. She said they weren’t on good terms. There’s no reason to waste resources on a non-event. Chase wonders who she’s protecting – Sonny or Shiloh.

At the MetroCourt, Ava says she needs a drink. Lulu says she uploaded the film, and it’s definitely click bait. It’s already been picked up and posted elsewhere. Laura hates to leave the party, but has mayoral duties. Franco sees Ava at the small bar, and asks what’s going on with her and Doc. Ava calls Doc over, and Franco asks if she can’t talk to him unless this guy is there. Ava says he may as well know. She went to see Doc to help her find closure. At first, she was in denial, blaming Doc for Ryan’s crimes, but as they talked, they felt a connection. They were both betrayed, and understand each other’s shame and grief. Doc is everything Ryan pretended to be. Doc says Ryan stole his life, and ruined Ava’s. They need to be with someone who understands. Lucy walks in, and says he has to be Ryan. Her Doc would never touch the likes of Ava. Doc says it’s really him, and Lucy asks what he’s doing. He says, comforting a kindred spirit. Lucy says the last time she saw him, they were honoring Gail, and she delivered him to Laura. Doc says he hurt Laura too much. Felicia and Mac join them, and Lucy says Doc is talking and saying things, but he’s not making any sense. Felicia says, it’s okay, but Lucy says, it’s so not okay. Lulu says, there’s nothing that can be done, and Lucy says, the hell there isn’t.

Neil tells Sonny, if the police get involved, there could be severe ramifications. Sonny says, Valerie and the PCPD can look until hell freezes over, but they won’t find Kristina. Jason says they’ve had a lot of experience. Neil tells them, exit therapy is not an exact science. If it doesn’t work, and Kristina turns them over to the police, it could be a catastrophe.

Sam leaves Shiloh’s office. Shiloh sees her, and asks what she’s doing there.

Margaux says Chase is out of line. Valerie tells Chase, let’s go. They gave it their best shot. They leave, and Margaux asks if Jordan is ready to go or is Jordan going to question her judgement too? Jordan says she’s still going to see her son. Margaux leaves, and Jordan hopes Curtis is getting somewhere. She leans on the wall, and starts to call him, but the phone drops out of her hand, and then she drops to the floor.

In the elevator, Chase tells Valerie they can forget about the DA and do an investigation without approval. Valerie is in.

Curtis asks Timmy if the women left a name or said why she wanted the drugs. Timmy says he has to go. Curtis says he has a hundred dollars total, if Timmy coughs up the name of the woman who wanted him to boost the drugs.

Lucy tells Doc that when the truth was revealed that Doc unleashed Ryan, she was the only one who stood up for him. She even gave him a place to live. Doc understands and appreciates it, but asks her to please trust him; he knows what he’s doing. Lucy says, not from where she’s standing. She’s talked to his neighbors, and he hasn’t even been home for the past few nights. Don’t tell her… She looks at Doc and Ava, and tells him, consider himself evicted. He can find a bed on the street. He’ll be so tired of Ava. By the time the Nurses’ Ball rolls around, he’ll be heartbroken and friendless. Felicia tells her that they need to talk about it, but Lucy says, apparently, there’s nothing left to say, and leaves in tears. Franco asks if Ava is okay, and Ava says she’s fine. Franco says, from where he’s siting, she doesn’t seem all right. He leaves, and Mac says that Ava is good at playing her roll. Lulu says the video is trending, and Mac says, it worked. Felicia says they need to hope against hope that it got Ryan’s attention. Ava’s phone rings.

Tomorrow, Finn asks Elizabeth if she’s heard from Hayden, Neil says they have another complication, and Stella finds Jordan.

Vanderpump Rules

The theme of the engagement party is enchanted forest. Brittany is thrilled at how the venue looks. Jax signs the last of the checks. In his interview, he says, it’s a solid wedding, never mind an engagement party, but this is the new Jax. He rolls with the punches. He tells Brittany that she’s worth it. She goes to change.

Tom is figuring out what he’s wearing. He tells Ariana that he’s toying with wearing a hat. Ariana doesn’t think he should upstage the groom. He says it’s a constant challenge.

Lala decides to wear a headpiece. She wanted to wear a crown, because she has to let bitches know what’s up. Whatever that means. She’s queen?

Stassi tells Beau that she can’t believe they’re going to Jax’s engagement party. Jax is still an a-hole, but doesn’t take out on Brittany or them anymore. Beau can’t open a bottle, and Stassi asks him to give it to her. He’s skeptical, but she opens it easily. She asks, who’s your daddy?

Schwartz tells Katie that he wants to wear a TomTom onesie. He can’t picture Katie pregnant. He thinks she’ll be a monster of a human. I think it could go either way.

Lala says she’s going to continue not drinking. She tries to be a good human, but takes all her downfalls out on Rand. Scheana says Adam won’t speak to her because she went on a date. Lala think if he doesn’t want that happening, he should do something about it. She says Scheana always gives it her all, and they end up walking on her. Scheana starts crying, and Kristen says she’s not pregnant, right? That’s a no. She tells the girls that Adam loves penguins, and she found out you can adopt one from the aquarium. I’m laughing because she probably thinks you’re actually adopting it like you would a child or a pet. She says if Adam is still mad at her after she got him an effing penguin, they’re done. I’m with you, Scheana.

Stassi tells Beau that she’s trying be conscious of everything; recognizing the moments she can go off. She had her birthday freak-out. Unfortunately, but it happened. We flash back to her calling Beau incessantly, then slamming the phone on the floor. After that, her mom told her that she was the problem, and she was lucky to have him. Beau says it was awful and unacceptable. She saw a freaking witch, and she’s never tried to better herself before.

Ariana tells Tom that she’s thinking of talking to Lisa at the party. Because in the reality TV world, the best time to bring up your personal beefs is at someone else’s event. Preferably someone who’s totally unrelated to the problem. Ariana says she’s known Lisa for eight years. There’s no reason not to be able to speak respectfully and honestly about something that’s bothering her. In Ariana’s interview, she says Lisa encouraged the Toms to go to Mexico, then publicly shamed them. Exaggerate much? Tom says a huge falling out would suck and affect things, but Ariana says it would only one person’s fault, because she’ll be respectful.

James sees therapist Anita. He tells her that he’s trying his best to keep his temper. He was controlled, and when there was a group vacation to Mexico, he didn’t take the news well that he wasn’t invited. He blew up at the hosts of the trip. We flash back to that. He doesn’t understand the mentality of being angry and not doing anything about it. She asks about his drinking, and he says he’s only had a couple of beers here and there. I laugh because in the old People’s Court shows with Judge Wapner, any time someone said they just had a couple of beers, the judge would look at Bailiff Rusty and practically roll his eyes, knowing it was probably more like a six-pack. James insists he hasn’t gotten drunk, and has only had two at the most. He’s more comfortable doing that, than going a party and being the sober guy. He thinks he’s more charismatic when he drinks, and doesn’t think he’d be that person without it. He tells her that Lisa says he’s full of self-doubt. In his interview, he says he thinks too much when he’s sober. He’s twenty-six; he can make his own decisions. Anita suggests he focus on what he should do for himself, not what he can do for others. He says not caring what they think is impossible. She tells him, the more power he gives to how people look at him, the worse he starts to feel he’s not good enough. He says he wishes he’d said different things at different moments. Then life would be different. Ha! Don’t we all wish that, and yes it would. A real Confucius, that James.

Scheana says they’re not only going to celebrate Brittany and Jax, but to party. They get on a party bus, and Lala asks if there’s a stripper pole. Of course there is. Brittany says they have Kentucky in the building. Tom goofs around on the pole. In Tom’s interview, he says if things ever went south with TomTom he has to have something to fall back on. Right now, he’s falling back on the pole. Jax sees a video, and he’s jealous he’s not on the bus. Brittany notes Lala’s headpiece, and says everyone is on theme. She hopes Lala isn’t upset that she’s not a bridesmaid. In Brittany’s interview, she says she can’t have twenty bridesmaids, and hopes Lala doesn’t kick her ass. We flash back to Lala yelling at James. Brittany doesn’t want anyone to feel sad or left out it. It makes her feel guilty inside.

Scheana hates the tension between her and Adam. She wants to make it better, but he won’t even make eye contact.

Jax says Brittany looks beautiful. I do too, but I’m surprised she isn’t more on theme. Brittany thinks the place looks amazing. In her interview, she says she’s living the fairytale dream. Lisa and Ken arrive. Giggy! Jax says they only have beer and wine. There are certain people he doesn’t trust with tequila. He’s one of them.

Scheana says, depending on how tonight goes with Adam, she might Uber home. She tells the girls that Ethan wanted to make her dinner. He did, and two bottles of wine later, went downtown for a half hour. It doesn’t necessarily lead to a home run. Then she says, Adam won’t do it, it’s not his thing, and we all go, what? I’m not getting this at all. He won’t commit; says she can date others, but gets mad when she does; and he’s not satisfying her sexually. Oh yeah, sign me up. Scheana is not the brightest bulb in the box, but she deserves better. She consistently picks guys who are unavailable in one way or another.

The bus arrives. Jax and Brittany pose by the flower wall. Brittany hugs mamaw. Tom opens champagne with a knife. Brittany’s father tells Lisa that when Brittany first came out there, Lisa was like a mom. He didn’t have to be so concerned about her safety. Lisa’s concern for Brittany’s welfare made it better. Lia says Brittany is a lovely girl. She’s happy to be there for Brittany, and watch her grow. Don asks if Jax asks if Jax has really changed, and Lisa thinks he has. He has Brittany by his side, and it’s made a difference. In Lisa’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if it will last, but Brittany is the best thing that’s happened to Jax. That’s the only thing they all agree on. Don says, every man needs a good woman, and Lisa says, hopefully only one. She keeps telling her husband that. Jax introduces sister Jenny to Lisa, and they show her their tattoos.

Brittany says she has a permanent smile, and tells Lala that she didn’t want her to feel left out. Lala says this is Brittany’s day, and she should have whoever she wants. She has an engagement gift; it’s from her and Rand. She gives Brittany an envelope, and inside she finds a voucher for a trip to Cabo on the private jet. In her interview, Brittany doesn’t know what’s worse. That she had to talk to Lala about not being a bridesmaid or that Lala rewarded her for that with the trip of a lifetime. She feels like a little turd. Lala says just tell her when, and they’ll fuel the jet, and have the best time ever.

Schwartz tells Adam that he can feel the tension. He can put a knife between Adam and Scheana. He asks if the catalyst is Scheana being with another dude. Adam says he asked if she slept with him, and she said yeah. Kristen tells Scheana to be honest and real. Hopefully he will too. Schwartz tells Adam that he doesn’t think it’s a deal breaker. In his interview, Schwartz says in his relationship, he learned, resistance is futile. You have to cave, and make the commitment. Commit to Scheana and see what happens. He laughs, and slaps his knee. Adam asks to talk to Scheana.

Adam says he doesn’t know where to start. Scheana says for the last eight months, everyone has been saying they love each other, but he says he doesn’t have feelings for her. He says he doesn’t know if he’s ready. She told him if he dated, she’d be upset. She says he told her that he didn’t care if she dated, as long as it wasn’t someone he knew. Raising his volume like ten notches, he screams they talked at the white party, and she screwed another guy. Lisa comes by, but hangs back from intervening. Schwartz is dancing with Katie, and says he’s going to twirl her so he can access the situation. Scheana asks Adam if he loves her. He looks away, and she tells him, answer the question. He says, no. She was just with another guy all weekend. She says she thought about him the whole time, and he says, thanks for the consideration. That makes it so much better. She says she’s so sorry she did something that made him realize he has feelings for her, but if she hadn’t, would he ever speak up? No. They’d have just kept on doing the same thing. She did it just to see how he felt. He gets up, and she tries to stop him. He says she’s trying to rationalize it, and Scheana says she’s finishing the conversation. She asks him for a hug, and he reluctantly responds. He says, please. He needs to walk away. In her interview, Scheana says, even though they’re not in a relationship, she feels like they literally broke up. Adam can’t jet fast enough.

At SUR, manager Monica sees James has a reservation, and reminds the waitress that he no longer works there. He and Raquel are seated and order. In his interview, James says everyone at the engagement party will be so wasted. He makes fun of them, imitating them drunk. He says he didn’t expect an invite, although he would have gone had he gotten ne. He tells Raquel that he hopes they’re invited to the wedding. Raquel says for that to happen, he’ll have to change his approach with everyone. He says he’s so in love with her, she’s all he wants. She says he doesn’t want to any more cheating accusations. James says, then there’s hope for him. He never cheated on her. I don’t think any of us believe that, and Raquel says, now that they live together, it will be harder to make something up. She’ll be with him every day.

Scheana cries, and shows Kristen the adoption paper for the penguin with Adam’s name on it. Kristen asks if he knows, again, like it’s a real kid. Scheana weeps and shakes her head. Tom takes a drink from Ariana’s flask. Ariana asks if Lisa would like some warm, disgusting tequila, but that’s a hard no. In Ariana’s interview, she says she loves Tom. She doesn’t show her commitment with a wedding, but she’s doing the bravest thing she can possibly do – go to bat for him with Lisa. She tells Lisa that she loves and respects her, but she said something about the Toms not working hard at TomTom. She’s not going to lie; it bummed her out. They would have never gone on the trip if Lisa hadn’t said to go. Lisa says the Toms have a playful relationship, and she’d never want to ruin their friendly banter. Ariana thinks when people see it, they’ll think the Toms are idiots. Lisa says one of the reasons she wanted to work with them was they’re youthful energy and sense of humor. Ariana says they have more to offer than that. She can’t speak for Schwartz, but Tom is probably one of the hardest working people she’s known. We see Tom with the beer bong. She says, especially when it comes to something he loves, and he loves the bar. She doesn’t want people thinking they’re somebody Lisa pulled from the gutter. Omg, now she’s on another planet. Lisa tells her to lighten up. In Lisa’s interview, she says she enjoys teasing the Toms, and they give her good reason and good cause. Their personas aren’t serious. They’re not Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. Lisa tells Ariana, their names are on the building. That says a lot. Ariana wants them to be able to earn the same love and respect they fee for her. She loves and respects Lisa so much. Lisa hopes so, and they hug.

Brittany hugs her dad. Schwartz tells Jax, what a difference a year makes. It’s cliché, but 100% true. Jax says he used to wonder who he needed to be each day. He acted differently with different people, and got to the point where he couldn’t even keep up with what he was telling people. In Tom’s interview, he says Jax’s lies were on a different level. His parents owned 70% of CVS, he was waiting to be a firefighter, his modeling career was taking off, he was roommates with Channing Tatum. Tom says, let’s promise to always be friends, no matter what happens. He appreciates Jax’s dad, but wants to toast to Jax.

James asks Raquel if they’ll get married one day, and she nods. He says he loves her so much. In her interview, Raquel says she sees marriage down the road, and babies. She and James are perfect for each other. Her eyes don’t look like she believes it. She always looks trapped. The waitress tells James, sorry, but no employee discount. He says the meal was expensive, and he needs a shot. I can’t tell if that’s a joke or not, and I don’t think Raquel can either.

Lisa sees Beau, and asks if he’s looking for his princess. He says he was bringing her another drink. Lisa says Stassi seems happy with him. No one ever validated her; they suppressed her. She can see that Beau loves her a lot. He says he does, and Lisa wonders if he’s going to ask Stassi to marry him. He says he is. In her interview, Lisa says he listens to Stassi, and doesn’t try to make her into something she’s not. He nurtures her, cares for her, and loves her more than he does himself. Stassi joins them. Lisa says she and Ken were engaged three months, and they’ve been married for thirty-six years. She says she told Beau he was lucky to have Stassi. Stassi says her mom said she’ll mess it up. We flash back to the horrifying things Stassi’s mother was saying about her – to Beau. In Stassi’s interview, she says she felt herself bringing negativity and insecurity into the relationship, and sabotaging it. She tells Lisa that it makes her want to be combative; like, fine, she’ll do it. Lisa says Stassi is a strong woman, and similar to her. That’s why she’s always had an affinity for Stassi. Her mother’s negativity has nothing do with her . Stassi says both of her parents are on marriage number four. Beau says they’re not their parents. Lisa points out the way they look at each other. Stassi says she loves Beau him so much. Lisa says, it hurts, and Stassi agrees. Lisa promises it will be fine, and tells them to enjoy each day. In Stassi’s interview, she says it reconfirms she’s on the right track. Ken and Lisa are goals. She wants Beau to follow her everywhere, holding one of their dogs. Giggy! Lisa tells them, never prove her wrong.

Scheana wails to mamaw that she wants be happy. In Jax’s interview, he says, the party is amazing, but if he had one complaint it would be that Scheana found some way to make it about herself, because she wants to marry Adam tomorrow. Get your sh*t together. Scheana hugs mamaw, who asks if she wants to come to Kentucky for a few days.

Mamaw tells Schwartz that she never had a beer in her life. He says her beer cheese is awesome. It’s time to cut the cake. Brittany says it’s a practice round, and she and Jax feed each other. Stassi asks Don how proud he is. He says he wants to be on board 100%, and she says he sounds like her dad. She tells him that you have to trust, or it will drive you seriously crazy. In Stassi’s interview, she says she knows Jax has lied, cheated, and duped them all in the past, but this is the first time he’s proposed. She thinks she owes it to them to root for them. She tells Don, as long as Jax makes Brittany happy, technically, that’s all that matters. He says he’d take more comfort in that if he heard it from Jax. We flash back to Jax telling Don that he’ll always be number one. Stassi says if Jax messes up, they’ll crucify him; light him on fire. She’ll take a hot spike, and shove it up his ass. Don laughs. Scheana gets her drink on, and babbles about Adam. She says she did it to see if he cared; now it’s effed up. Jenny asks if Jax is happy, and tells him not to doubt who he is. She’ll always be in his corner, whether he’s a d*ck or the nicest person on earth. In his interview, Jax says his sister has the same qualities their father had. He can’t imagine life without her. She says she still doesn’t trust telling him anything. He says, that will never change. He can’t help himself.

Lisa asks for the mic. She says tonight is the night many of them thought would never happen. Jax has grown up. They’ve surrounded, supported, and loved him. It’s been a challenging year, but life is about obstacles to overcome, and challenges to rise to. With Brittany as his partner, they’ll go a long way. But if he messes with her Kentucky muffin, she’s coming for him.

In Lisa’s interview, she tells us, they say a leopard doesn’t change its spots, but the leopard she married did. If there’s hope for Ken Todd, there might be hope for Jax Taylor.

Brittany thanks everyone, and says they’ve gone through a lot, but have gotten so much support and love from everyone. They’ve never been happier. In Brittany’s interview, she says she knows people had doubts, but she sees their family and friends there, supporting him. They all love her and Jax. She tells the guests that she loves Jax more than anyone in the world. She’ll never give up on him. In her interview, she says the hell with people’s opinions. She believes they’ll get their happily ever after. In Jax’s interview, he says he doesn’t care what people think. He knows how much wants this, and loves her. It just fuels his fire to prove them wrong. Brittany says, everybody dance!

Tom tells Lisa that he needs her for something very important. She says, whatever it is, she’s not doing it. He shows her the beer bong, and she asks why she’d want do that. He says it fulfills the partnership. He and Schwartz have created a special bedazzled funnel with LVP on it. In Schwartz’s interview, he says it cements a partnership by funneling a beer. In Lisa’s interview, she says she never drank much beer, and never did a beer bong, but… she never turns down a dare. She bongs the beer, Tom yells, the queen! everyone cheers, and Lisa bows. In her interview, she says, and that’s the way you leave a party. Good night. She tells Ken, it was disgusting, burps, and says, sorry.

Next time – the Reunion – James is in shambles, Billie and Lala go at it again, Beau says watching the pilot scared him, Andy asks how Lisa is coping and she needs a moment, Lala says Raquel comes to her when it’s feeding time and expects not to get feasted on, James calls Brittany’s family a bunch of hillbillies, which doesn’t go over real big. Note to James: this is not how you get invited to the wedding.

I hope it works for Brittany and Jax. I’ll probably never like Jax, but it doesn’t matter. Brittany loves him, and I like her. I hope she gets her fairytale ending.

👑 Cue Game of Thrones title theme. It was time for the big battle, between the dead and everyone except Cersei. Besides doing a lot of staring at people, the Red Woman said some magic words, and the Dothraki suddenly got swords of flame. This made for great cinematography, but sadly, they fell into a trap. After that, everything was so dark throughout the entire battle, it was hard to see what was going on. I thought it was my TV until I read another blog post on it specifically (see below).

Edd got killed defending Sam, and Sam ran. Tyrion almost made Sansa smile, and it seemed like she actually mulled over them getting back together for a moment when he joked about it. I made noises when the Night King swooped down on zombie Viserian, and I also said, do something red lady! There was a giant zombie or a zombie giant that Lyanna ended up killing by stabbing in the eye, but she got squashed for her trouble, while the Hound took notes. Good thing Arya learned to move like a cat from that Zen/sword master, because she needed that skill to hide from meandering zombies later. Beric and the Hound teamed up, after the Hound just got done saying they were doomed no matter what. They ended up saving Arya, who crashed through a wall along with several zombies. Beric was a goner, but the Hound dragged them both away. Then the Red Woman finally showed up, yapping about purpose. Zombie dragon had a fight with Jon’s dragon, and Dany’s dragon incinerated the Night King, but he turned out to be like Yul Brynner in Westworld, because he just stood there laughing. Well, he had the same expression he always has, but he wasn’t even singed. Jon stupidly followed him, and the Night King raised his army back up from the dead, along with everyone who had just died. It was like, are we going to have to do this all over again?  And what good is Bran if he just sees stuff, and can’t do anything about it? The whole thing was just a mess. Ser Jorah saved Dany, but paid with his life. Jon Snow had enough, and extracted himself from the Night King’s minons, walloping everyone in his wake. The Night King had bigger fish to fry, heading for Bran. Theon was a big hero, saving Bran’s life for a millisecond at the expense of his own, but again, why? As the Night King stood in front of Bran, Arya flew out of nowhere and stabbed him with the dragon glass dagger. He shattered, and so did all the other Wights. Once again, who’s gonna clean up that mess? The Red Woman said, forget this, tossed her necklace, turned into a naked old lady, and dissolved. It was relentless and amazing, and IMO the best part was the shock of the recently dead rising.

This show is literally awesome. I find myself sitting with my mouth hanging open. I felt the same way about the books. The genre isn’t even my thing, but I was hooked from the first page.

Best quotes:

Jon: The Night King is coming. * Dany: The dead are already here.

Sansa (after Arya hands her a dagger): I don’t know how to use it. * Arya: Stick them with the pointy end.

👓 A Few Viewpoints…

Glad it wasn’t just me. Other people noted the darkness as well.


The death toll.


A simple review.


My favorite snarky recap.


🐱 Now For Something Completely Different…

And pretty weird.







April 22, 2019 – Someone Gives Doc a Hand, Brittany Hunts For the Dress, Mini Throne Recap, Throne Theory, Behind the Throne, Funny Throne & a Song from Thrones


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

At the hospital, Doc and Laura kiss. A messenger brings a package for Doc. Doc asks who it’s from, and the messenger says, someone named Chamberlain. Doc signs for the box, and I wonder if he’s left-handed in real life. He opens it, and there’s a Styrofoam container inside. He opens that, and as I suspected, a frozen hand is inside. Laura is like, omg, and turns away.

Scotty goes to Ava’s apartment, and asks, what’s the emergency? She says she needs a hero, and he’s just the man for the job.

Sasha laughs at a story Michael is telling about forgetting to get off of a ski lift. She says he totally knows his way around a mountain. She used to go skiing all the time, and he says maybe someday they could hit the slopes. She says, maybe. Does he know what she wants to hit now? He knows what he wants her to say, but doesn’t think that’s it. She says, the shower.

NuTJ (who I’m still not used to) says Molly was quiet on the walk over. She says she was thinking about the nutjob Kristina is involved with. He says, it’s not like it’s the first time she’s gone off the grid, but Molly says, it’s never been like this. Other times, at least she responded to texts, but it’s been radio silence. Alexis approaches, and says she’s been looking for Molly. Molly asks if Kristina is okay, and Alexis says, she will be. Molly asks what she means, and Alexis says she hasn’t been completely honest about Molly’s sister.

Neil explains to Kristina that the purpose of the circle is to create a space where all voices are of equal importance. There’s no hierarchy or leader. Kristina says if her voice was equal, she wouldn’t be a captive, and he’d let her go. Nice try.

At the MetroCourt, Sonny tells Carly that he just wants his daughter back. Who’s to say the deprogramming will work? Sam appears, and says it will. For Kristina, it has to.

Shiloh walks into the gym, which is not the start of a joke, and sees Jason near the heavy bag. He asks if he can have a go at it. Jason remains silent, and starts punching the bag. Shiloh laughs, and guesses he should take that as a no.

Sonny tells Sam there are other options. Kristina can’t be involved if the cult leader is gone. Sam thinks the only way for Kristina to unhook from it, is therapy. Carly wonders what if Kristina said something incriminating. Sonny says, at worst, she could have said he gave orders to have someone eliminated. It would be a lie, but she could have exaggerated to impress that dirtbag. Sam thinks the same thing, but if Shiloh exposed what Kristina said his crimes were, she’d fall apart. They have to find her pledge, and make sure it never sees the light of day. Sonny asks what her next move is, and Sam says, go to the house, and see what she can find. They wish each other good luck. Sonny says, they’ll need it. After Sam leaves, Carly says she thinks Sam has lost it.

Harmony looks through some folders. She crosses out Willow’s real name on one of them, and replaces it with Willow Tait. She looks at the picture of Kristina and Shiloh.

Neil admits to Kristina, however well-intentioned, kidnapping her was unfair. Out of curiosity, what would she tell a friend who was being held against their will by their loved ones? She says she can show him. She picks up Shiloh’s book, and reads, the problem lies within the person who’s afraid of an unresolved interior experience in dealing with loss. Neil says he’s unfamiliar with the material, and asks if she can tell him more conversationally. She says her parent’s history with loss makes them afraid of losing her. He thanks her for the clarification.

Michael and Sasha talk about their favorite places to ski. Sasha doesn’t want to sound snobby, but says she’d go with Aspen; the terrain is good. Michael says, the waffles are too. One time the place was closed, and he almost cried. She says she has to get back there, and Michael says he almost went this winter. He booked the trip, but his sister Avery’s nanny got sick, so there was no one to take Avery on the bunny hill. Sasha is impressed that Michael would cancel Aspen to take his sister on the bunny hill, and asks if he walks on water. He tells her to never underestimate toddler charm.

Doc takes a look at a paper inside the box, and tells Laura, it’s from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. It’s Chamberlain remains, not from Ryan Chamberlain. He tells Laura, a severed hand doesn’t necessarily mean a fatality. She asks if he thinks Ryan is out there, and he says, in her heart of hearts, doesn’t she? She doesn’t know. She tells him that she understands they still have issues, but believes they can work through them. She thinks that won’t happen until he moves back home. He says there’s nothing he’d love more, but doesn’t think he should until he does more work on himself.

Shiloh says Jason has made it clear that he’s hostile toward him and DOD. He’d considered that Jason kidnapped Kristina, but he was convinced otherwise by Sam. The more he trusts Sam, the closer they become.

Carly tells Sonny that Shiloh is supposed to believe Sam loves him. Now that freak is talking to Danny, and Jason has to put up with it. That’s how she sees it. Sonny agrees, saying, no one wants it over with more than he does, but if it helps Kristina recover by playing it out, he’ll do it. Shiloh will be dealt with.

Michael wishes he could stay, and Sasha asks if he’s riding to another sister’s rescue. He says, actually… and she asks if everything is okay. He hopes so. She tells him not to let her keep him, and asks if it’s cool for her to hang out. He tells her to stay as long as she wants, and writes down his number. She says, digits; it’s getting serious. He thinks maybe they can go to the gym again, or catch a movie; no expectations. She says she’s only in town until her mother’s wedding, but she’d like that. She’ll text him. He leaves, and she looks at the number and smiles.

Molly ask Alexis where her sister is, and Alexis says, she’s safe. She’s working on her issues, and that’s all she can tell Molly. Molly knows better than to press, and Alexis thanks her. All Molly wants is for Kristina to be normal again, and get away from that creep Shiloh. Alexis says that’s all she wants too; her three girls to be safe.

Neil tells Kristina that her family is waiting for permission to speak with her. Kristina says, they’re not known for their communication skills. They don’t hear or see her. He asks how he can help. Would it work for her if had a signal. She can say, she’s not okay with this, and he’ll stop and redirect the conversation to a more constructive place. She says, it sounds okay, and he asks if she’s ready. She tells him, go for it, but it won’t change anything.

Ava tells Scotty to sit. He asks if he should be nervous. She says, no. They’re friends; good friends. She’d venture to say he’s her best friend in Port Charles. He says, as opposed to some other location? She laughs and says he gets her. No one else ever has, and he’s never afraid to say what he really thinks. He tells her that she’s laying it on thick. He can see smoke coming out of her ears. What plan is she cooking up? She says, a plan in which he plays a key role. He asks what she wants him to do. She says, fall in love with her, and kisses him.

Ava says it’s not that farfetched. Scotty says he has feelings for her; he always did. Another place, another time; however, they’ve never kissed. He asks what she wants, and she says Ryan is alive. He tells her that if he thought that was true, he’d shackle himself to her, but Ryan is dead. She wishes that was true. She knows Ryan is obsessed with her, and knows she and Scotty have a close connection. She depends on him in times of need. If Ryan thought they were together, he would surely surface, and when he does, they’ll be ready. He asks if she’s serious, and she says she is. She wants justice for her daughter, and he can have the justice denied him when he prosecuted Ryan.

Sam goes into the DOD house. She sees the folders Harmony was looking at on an ottoman, quickly looks through them, and puts them back. Harmony walks in, and asks what she’s going there. She says she needs to see Shiloh. Harmony says she doesn’t know where he is. Sam sees Kristina’s folder under Harmony’s arm, and says she’ll wait. Harmony tells her to suit herself. Sam’s sorry if she interrupted Harmony’s project, and asks if she needs help. Harmony says it’s private material, far above her level, but thanks anyway. She goes upstairs, and Sam follows at a distance.

Shiloh tells Jason that Sam is learning the DOD courses faster than any student he’s ever had. Danny is incredible as well. He wonders if Danny will get his life outlook from his mom or be emotionally stunted like his father. Jason walks away, and Shiloh says he didn’t want a workout anyway. Jason has sweated enough for the both of them.

Harmony goes into Shiloh’s office. Sam puts an ear to the door, then ducks around the corner when Harmony comes back out. Harmony locks the door. When she’s gone, Sam tries it just to make sure.

Michael goes to the MetroCourt, and gives Carly a hug. She says he’s in a good mood. Would he care to share what contributed to that? He says she can ask, but he’s not answering. She says there’s a secret behind his smile, and he says it’s monumental. He’s grabbing coffee before he meet Sonny about Kristina. If there’s anything to know, she’ll be the first one he tells. She says that’s not nearly enough, but she’ll have to take it. He leaves, and she ponders.

Sonny tells Alexis that Michael is on his way. Alexis says she talked to Molly, but told her as little as possible. She knows Kristina is safe, but Alexis feel badly for not including her. She was the first one to recognize DOD was a cult, but she’ll just make Kristina defensive. Neil joins them, and asks if they’re still waiting for Michael. Sonny says he’ll be there soon. Neil says it’s important that they understand there are multiple steps in the process. Sonny and Alexis have strong, powerful personalities, and are used to being in control. They’ll have to leave that at the door. They’re not in charge, and can’t steer the outcome. Kristina recognizing that she can make decisions is critical to her recovery. If they can’t abide by that, they need to leave. Sonny says Michael is the most level headed of the group. Alexis adds, and the closest to Kristina. Neil says that doesn’t always work in their favor. Kristina already feels betrayed by being kidnapped, and they have to catch up. Are they ready to do the work? Sonny says, ready.

Laura asks Doc what kind of work he needs to do, and he says, on his arrogance; his God complex. Ryan always thought he was the smartest person in the room, and Doc thinks he shares that opinion of himself. She says he’s really been thinking about it, and he tells her he’s been talking to a colleague. She says, therapy, and he says, don’t’ knock it. Always being right gets in the way of life, and when taken to the extreme, leads to where they ended up. He wants no part of that grandiosity, and doesn’t want to make that mistake again. Laura says he won’t, but he wishes it was that simple. His justifications and explanations were just his ego, and it resulted in people getting killed, Lulu being attacked, and pain for everyone involved. Laura says he’s not the one who killed them. Doc says it’s not the same thing, but he was still destructive. He needs to confront and deal with these tendencies in himself, and acknowledge his faults and culpabilities. She says he doesn’t have to do it alone.

Laura tells Doc, anything she can do to help, she wants to do it. Doc asks if she’s not still angry at him, even a little. She says he made a mistake, but he’s a good man. The fact that he’s willing to face those parts of himself proves it. If it doesn’t interfere with his soul searching, she’d love it if he searched his soul at home. He says that’s why he didn’t tell anyone, especially her, that Ryan was alive. He knew she’d call him on it, and tell him to turn Ryan in. He didn’t want that, so he kept it from the person he loved most. He’s so sorry. She says she forgives him, and they hug.

Ava says Scotty must regret how the case turned out. He says he does. Felicia ended up in jail instead of Ryan. It was a travesty. Ava says she’s giving him a chance to fix it won’t do it. As much as he cares about her, right now she’s filled with grief, and jumping into the vodka bottle. She says she’s drinking coffee, but he says it’s just a matter of time. How many times has he picked her up off the floor since Kiki died? She says Ryan murdered her daughter because he could; for fun, or maybe he chose Kiki because she was Ava’s daughter. Scotty gets it. It haunts her. She says she needs to be the one to kill him. Look into the eyes of that sick, sadistic man, and tell him it’s for her daughter. Will he help her? Scotty doesn’t want to take advantage of the situation, pretending to be dating her. She tells him, take advantage of her. It’s his last chance. He suggests they get some fresh air, clear their minds, and come up with another plan. She tells him, if he doesn’t want do it, he needs to get out, and he leaves.

TJ tells Molly that he knows how much she loves her sister. He loves Kristina too. She has some great qualities. Molly says, but…? He says she’s had bad things happen to her. Kiefer was the worst, but she survived. She’s had the benefit of money, education, and the support of her family, but she’s never learned responsibility, and how to get herself out of trouble; bail herself out. Molly says Kristina thinks she’s taking ownership by joining DOD, but it’s the exact opposite.

Sam gets into the office, but hears Shiloh call Harmony. She leaves, closing the door behind her, and jets.

Neil says Kristina’s family is there to talk after agreeing to the basic ground rules. Kristina asks where Molly is. Alexis says after their recent friction, they thought it best she sit this one out. Kristina ask about Sam. She’s a DOD member and supports her. Is that why she’s not there? Neil says it’s not about defending points of view. It’s about Kristina’s needs and feelings. Alexis’s phone rings. She checks it and ignores the call. Kristina asks how they’re supposed to talk when Alexis can’t turn off her phone. Neil says that’s a good point. Why not start there.

Shiloh finds Sam in the living room, and she says she’s there to see him.

Laura says, marriage is a partnership, and it can’t always be Doc taking care of her. Sometimes she gets to take care of him. They save each other. She asks if he’ll come home. He kisses her, and thanks her. She says she didn’t do anything, but he says, yes, she did. She asks what he’s going to do with that thing, and he says take it to the morgue for starters; then destroy it. At least part of Ryan will be behind them. He’ll meet her at home. He needs to make a quick stop on the way.

At the MetroCourt restaurant, Sasha asks Carly if she can get something to go. Carly gives her a menu, and notices she’s wearing a sweatshirt from the gym. She says her husband owns that place, and asks how Sasha likes it. She says she had the best workout this afternoon. Carly says, good to know. I believe she’s put two and two together, and come up with Michael and Sasha.

Kristina says her mother’s phone shows a lack of respect. It’s like their entire relationship. That’s why she chose DOD. The way they communicate reflects her need to be heard. Sonny doesn’t get it, and Neil says communication is more successful when the speaker and listener both understand the message. Can she make that easier? She said her mother’s phone shows a lack of respect; how so? Kristina says, when it rings, Alexis disappears. Alexis says that’s not true, but Neil says if Kristina feels that way, it’s true to her. He asks her to restate how she feels the need to communicate. She says she hates when they talk. They never get past her mistakes. They love her, but she thinks they’re saying love her more if she was different. Neil asks how she feels when she leaves their conversations, and Kristina says, terrible; completely disconnected. At DOD, they only ask who she is now, and who she’s willing to be. She doesn’t feel lonely with them like she with her family. She starts to cry, and says she got tired of being lonely.

On the phone, Jason thanks Brick, saying, that’s what he thought. Carly asks what he found out. Jason tells her, residue from a narcotic was in the cup. She wonders what happened at GH, and he’ll give her one guess. She says, Shiloh.

Doc sees Ava at the MetroCourt bar. He was hoping to find her there. She says, dare she ask why? He says he’s had unsettling news about his brother.

Scotty runs into Laura at the hospital. He doesn’t mean to be insensitive, but asks if she’s seen Doc. She says he just left, and asks if something is wrong. He says, Ava is cooking up a plan to bring out Ryan, who’s dead as a doornail. It’s outrageous.

Michael tells Kristina that he brought her this, and gives her a keyring. She says, Mexico. He says they’re family is amazing, but it’s also big and complicated. There’s a lot of history, screw ups, baggage, you name it. Shiloh is offering something that seems positive and wonderful, but something he’s learned in business is, if something is too good to be true, it probably is. He takes her hand, and says she might not believe it, but he thinks she’s really smart and perceptive. She gets a read on people before anyone else. He knows if she really listens to what Shiloh is saying, beneath the flowery message, he’s saying, do what I tell you; trust me, not yourself. Michael misses her, and she says she misses him too. He says let him be there for her. Come home with him. God knows there’s plenty of room. Kristina says he doesn’t understand. She made a promise, and can never go back home.

Sam tells Shiloh that Harmony said he’d be back soon, so she decided to wait. There’s something she wants to say. He tells her that he always welcomes her thoughts. She says she’s been thinking about it, and wants to take the next step in her commitment to DOD. She wants to prove her faith in him is as strong as his faith in her. He says that’s good to hear. It’s almost time. Soon, she’ll be ready join his Trust.

Carly says, Kristina was drugged. She knows Jason isn’t taking the information to the cops, so what’s next. He says he’s going to handle Shiloh himself.

Scotty tells Laura, it’s a hair-brained idea. It would never work, but Ryan is dead. Laura says, if he isn’t, it’s a suicide mission. Anyone who takes her up on her offer is out of their mind.

Doc tells Ava that he knows the hand is disturbing, but he wanted her to hear it from him. He’ll take care of everything from now on. She can put his brother behind her. She doesn’t think she can, but they can use Ryan’s hand to bury him.

Tomorrow, Felicia tells Laura that their plan will draw Ryan out, Molly says Kristina has finally come to her senses, and Shiloh tells Sam she can take her place in his Trust.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana sets up the bar at SUR. Tom says he’d help, but he’s no longer an employee. This is her first Brunch with Billie, and Tom tells her, get ready; it gets crazy. Lisa comes in and asks Tom what was up with that briefcase full of money. She thinks Schwartz is ridiculous. What was she supposed to do with that? Has he never heard of a cashier’s check? In her interview, Ariana says she respects Lisa as a businesswoman, but doesn’t like the way she’s been treating the Toms lately. We see clips of Lisa lecturing them at various times. Ariana says it’s starting to wear on her. She doesn’t understand the mentality. Um… I think it is a business mentality, since these guys can drift. Tom tells Lisa that James wants to talk to her, and she says, he always does. In Lisa’s interview, she says James thought it would be easy to get his job back, but that’s not what it’s about. It’s about him learning a lesson. At some point, she’ll talk to him. She tells Tom and Ariana that she feels like a therapist, and should have a couch.

Jax’s sister Jenny and her husband Patrick arrive at the apartment. In his interview, Jax says his sister is important to him. She’d give the sweater off her back for anyone; she’s like their dad. Jax points out a bottle of Fireball that their dad drank from. Since their mom won’t be at the engagement party, he’s glad Jenny is there. Brittany’s mom Sherri, and a slew of other relatives show up. In Brittany’s interview, she says she loves her family, and it means the world to her that they’re here. None of them have ever been to LA or even traveled that much. Hashtag: blessed. Dad Don prays over the food. It’s the first time Jax has seen him since the summer, and he feels intimidated, but isn’t bowing down for forgiveness. He says when he’s doing good and feels good, it shows. He has to make himself happy first. He jokes that he put all the furniture together, but then admits Brittany did, saying she likes doing it. Yeah. She probably reads the directions, and gets it right the first time. Baby Presley is there, and in his interview, Jax explains that he helped Jenny and Patrick raise money to have a baby in vitro a couple of years ago. We flash back to the fundraiser, and Jax saying he’ll match the total. He says they were very grateful, and he can basically say he bought them a baby.

Brittany talks about going dress shopping. Mamaw says despite their ups and downs, it’s worked out for good, and she loves them both. Jax brings out a box with his dad’s ashes in it, so he can join them. Brittany suggests putting the ashes in something nice, but he says he likes to bring his dad places. I… never mind.

Scheana tells Adam that she’d mentioned her friend Ethan is back in town, and he wants to make her dinner. Adam says he was being honest saying he didn’t care if she dated other people, but he stays at her place all the time. She says she doesn’t want that to change, and he asks if this guy is spending the night. In Scheana’s interview, she says Adam claims he doesn’t care if she dates or hooks up with someone else. Ethan wants to cook her dinner, so she’s calling his bluff. I’m guessing cooking dinner must be a euphemism for dinner and something else. She asks, if she and Adam are going out and having sex, why aren’t they dating? He doesn’t know if he wants to be exclusive, but he doesn’t want her to go out with other guys. So in other words, he has a double-standard. She says she just won’t post anything. Seriously, I’m confused as to what it is they are doing if that’s not dating.

Stassi, Kristen, and Katie wait for Brittany at the bridal shop. Kristen says Brittany is getting married in a castle, and wants the appropriate dress. They decide to each pick one out that they’d like her to try on. Stassi feels like she’s going to be a bridesmaid, but wonders if it’s awkward since Jax is her ex. Kristen thinks she’d make an amazing maid-of-honor because she has OCD obsessive energy that she’s willing to pour into the wedding. In her hope for attention, I guess Kristen is just going to overlook the fact that she and Brittany are not that close. Brittany arrives with all of her female relatives. Stassi says this is going to be the best day ever. There’s a welcome sign and hors d’oeuvres, and the girls have already started drinking. Brittany says she wants a fairytale wedding, In her interview, she says she’s thought about her wedding dress her whole life, and now it’s her turn. She had a My Size Wedding Barbie, and wore the gown all the time. A producer asks who she was marrying, and she doesn’t think anyone. She just got excited about the dress. Mamaw says she was married 54 years, and it seemed like a day. Was he away all the time? Katie thinks Stassi will be next. Sherri says she and Mamaw never gave up on Jax. They were with him the night his dad passed, and he said now he would be the man his dad wanted him to be. After that, they saw a change.

Jax and Jenny go to a tattoo parlor. (Sounds like a children’s book.) They want one of their father’s favorite sayings in his handwriting. Jax asks what Jenny thinks of Brittany’s family, and she says she loves them. He says there are more to come. He asks if she thinks it’s weird their mom isn’t there. Jenny says he has to go with how he feels. In his interview, Jax says he hasn’t talked to his mother since his dad died. Jax says she won’t be at the engagement party, and asks if Jenny is okay with it. Jenny says she didn’t tell them that their dad was in the ICU. In Jax’s interview, he says he can’t forgive his mom for not saying how sick his father was. Jenny says, even if it had just been a body, she would have wanted to say goodbye. Jax wonders if somehow their dad told her not to say anything. Jenny thinks he didn’t want to be a burden, but would have wanted them there. Jax says their dad claimed he would never set foot in a tattoo parlor, and here he is. Yes. Jax brought his ashes along. In Jax’s interview, he thinks he should get an urn, but wants to have his dad around. He says he’s gotten some amazing tattoos, and some not so amazing. Stassi was a bad choice, but Carmen was a terrible choice. The tattoo they’re getting says, make good choices, love you, Dad.

Brittany models a dress while wearing a tiara, Stassi says, the dresses are Disney princess AF. There’s basic Cinderella, sexy Ariel, fun and flirty Elsa. Like a stylish wedding Disney threw up – in the best way possible. In Brittany’s interview, she says she knew best friend Cara was going to be her maid-of-honor before she knew Jax would be her husband. The first dress is her favorite, but she wants try a few more first. She asks for Katie to come back with her. She tells Katie that Cara is going to be her maid-of-honor, but she’d like Katie to be her matron-of-honor. Since these kids are so well read and worldly, Katie isn’t sure what that means; she’s not an old matron. Brittany tries to explain it’s because she’s married, but Katie still seems confused. She wonders if she has to put on a bonnet and churn butter, but if it helps Brittany to have a better wedding, she’ll do it. Honestly, I love this show, but a lot of the cast is vacuous and/or socially inept. No wonder they have the need to band together, and now James and Raquel are wandering aimlessly, like there are no other people in LA to hang out with.

James asks SUR manager Monica where Lisa is. I swear there’s an audible sigh, and she tells him, in the garden. James hunts Lisa down, and says he found her. She says he’s sent twenty-three texts; obsessive much? He says he wants to talk to her about See You Next Tuesday. He has some good ideas, like an astrology laser space party kind of thing. She asks if he’s not understanding that he’s not working there. He says the girls are lazy, and didn’t even show up last Tuesday. She suggests he stop worrying about everyone else, and worry about himself. He whines, and she tells him not to act like a three-year-old. It’s the third time he’s been in this position. Does he think he’s changed? She asks if he’s drinking, and he says, a couple beers isn’t drinking. I’m pretty sure beer has alcohol in it, and that you can get drunk on it too. In Lisa’s interview, she says she made it clear that he has to be 100% sober if he’s going to work there, and he hasn’t proven himself. She tells him, alcoholism runs in families. His mother was honest about that. She notices his attention is wandering, and asks him to focus. He says SUR is his everything. He feels at home there, and grew something from scratch. He guesses this is the last time he’s asking. In James’s interview, he says he can’t believe he’s not being given one more chance. He guesses he needs to prepare for what’s next. Lisa tells him that he’s a person who should never drink again, and could screw up his future, but he’s not doing it there. James bounces.

Stassi, Kristen, Ariana, and Tom have dinner at TomTom. Ariana is glad to be there, enjoying the food and drink, and not tending bar at SUR. Ariana is annoyed about Lisa interrupting an interview by a food blogger. She was talking to Tom about how hard they were working, and Lisa asked if he told the blogger where they just were. She not only suggested they take a trip – we flash back to Lisa saying they’d better do it now, before the real work starts – when they got back, Lisa used it as an opportunity to trash the Toms. Since somehow Ariana wants to make this about herself, she says, in essence, Lisa is saying she’s an idiot to date someone who’s an idiot. In her interview, Ariana says they’ll never be equal to Lisa, no matter what they accomplish, but that doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be some level of respect. Tom says he and Lisa have never been closer, but he’s still a punching bag, along with Schwartz. Ariana thinks she should talk to Lisa at the engagement party. She’ll be respectful, but tell Lisa that she’s talking sh*t about her partners, when they’re good at what they do. There’s a reason she wanted to work with them; they’re awesome. In Stassi’s interview, she says, confronting Lisa is the worst. She’s done it. We flash back to that, and she says, legit, the idea of confronting Lisa is the best laxative ever. Ariana says, you can’t disagree with Lisa, or you’re on her sh*t list. Kristen nods so hard, her head is going to fall off.

Pup at TomTom! Adam joins them. Ariana says Scheana is on a date, and Adam says that’s what he hears. Ariana says Scheana has asked him five times if he minded, and he said no. He tells her that he doesn’t think he’s ready for commitment. Tom says if Adam needs help, let him know, even though he doesn’t know how he’d help. Adam asks if Tom wants to kill a guy for him, and Tom says, oh, Adam is mad at Ethan now.

Meanwhile at Scheana’s apartment, Ethan cooks. In her interview, Scheana says they met about a year ago, and hooked up once. She says, even though she’s thirty-three, but Botox makes her look twenty-five, so the young guys all want to go out with her. She does a Snapchat update. The girls at TomTom get the post, and Stassi feels uncomfortable. In her interview, she says, it’s awkward AF, and so Scheana, . Getting snaps of Scheana’s new date is enough to make a male model’s head explode. Ethan says it’s been two years since Scheana was married, and she says she’s just been doing her. Ariana tells Adam that Scheana sent a video, and he wants to see it. Scheana asks Ethan if he was ever in threesome. He says, um… what about her? In her interview, she says in her early Hollywood years, she had some fun times. Ethan toasts to the dinner. Scheana tells him that she was never that girl who needed to be married, and wants to be an independent woman. This, coming from the same woman who had her wedding photo blown up to the size of a wall. She asks how long he’s in town, and he says, three and half weeks. She asks if he wants to hook up again, and he says, if it happens, it happens. Tom asks Adam if he’d have a harder time being with her, or watching her go off with someone else. Adam says he tries not to think about it. It sucks and it’s uncomfortable AF. He’ll see how it goes. Tom says they’re definitely screwing. Scheana and Ethen make out on her bed.

Lala meets Lisa at TomTom. Lisa approves of Lala’s outfit, saying last time at SUR, she looked like she was sponsoring a brothel. Lala takes that as a compliment, but Lisa says she’s seeing a mature man, and she wants him to be proud of the way she handles things. She says she let Lala’s last outburst go. She could have raked Lala over the coals, but they’d both been through something tragic. However, it’s not permission to lash out. In her interview, she understands that Lala is having a hard time. The most important thing is for Lala to be proud of herself, and Lisa doesn’t think she would be, considering how she’s been behaving. She sees Lala’s loyalty, and thinks James benefitted from having her on his side. She can point him in the right direction. In Lala’s interview, she thinks she’s capable of offering direction to someone. If her dad was there to give her advice, he would say forgive and let it go, but it’s hard to do. She tells Lisa that she’s feeling sensitive to people today, so she’ll text him. Lisa tells her, grab those big ears, and shake him.

Brittany enthusiastically shows Jax her bridesmaids’ favors, even though he can barely pay attention. She already knows she wants Cara to be her maid-of-honor. She’s even thinking of a dance for the bridesmaids. She wants it all. The girls and one dude arrive at the restaurant. Brittany gets excited all over again greeting them. After they’re seated, she has them open a teeny message in a bottle, and Stassi marvels that Brittany made the tiniest scroll ever. Except maybe for that guy who puts things on the heads of pins. Brittany says, everything is on theme. The scrolls reveal the bridesmaids. In her interview, Brittany says the hardest thing was not knowing who to choose as a bridesmaid, and trying to pick. In Kristen’s interview, she says, clearly, she would be the best choice as maid-of-honor. She asks Brittany who’s walking with who. We don’t get that answer, but Brittany tells everyone that Cara is her maid-of-honor, and Katie is her matron-of-honor. In her interview, Kristen says that she’s jealous, but Cara had a twenty year head start, and Katie is married, so there’s that. Brittany has everyone open a gift box at the same time. Inside, is a rose under a glass dome. Stassi says, it’s just like Beauty and the Beast. In Stassi’s interview, she says, Jax is like the Beast; big, sweaty, and terrible manners. But the Beast loved Belle, and turned into Prince Charming, so you never know.

Lala asks talk to James outside. She wanted check up on him. A lot has come his way, and he crashed hard. She had a conversation with Lisa, and thought she should talk to him. He drifts, and she asks him to pay attention. She says she can’t stop giving a sh*t about someone, and wants to know where his headspace is. James says he’s good. He’s still working on himself. She tells him they can talk about the things she’s done to people, but wants him to know she’s not sitting on her high horse. She asks him again to pay attention, but he says it’s hard to make eye contact with someone he hasn’t spoken to lately. In his interview, he says he misses their friendship, but if he put this Lala next to that one, she’s a completely different person – for the worse. Lala doesn’t want to see him down and out, and getting kicked when he’s not fighting back anymore. He’s not the James she knows. She tells him when he wants to lash out, pick up the phone. James says he’ll probably call his therapist. Lala thinks he seems defeated, and sees him spiraling. She’s speaking from a place she’s been in on her own, and she doesn’t want that to happen to him. If he needs someone who understands, he knows her phone number. In her interview, Lala says he’s not ready to take ownership and accountability, but at some point, he has to own up to his own sh*t, look in the mirror, stop pointing fingers, and listen to her. He thanks her for the chat. In James’s interview, he says even if he wanted the friendship back, Lala isn’t the same, and he doesn’t trust her not to be how she’s been recently. He’s over it. He’s done.

Brittany introduces college friend Lyndi, and says Cara introduced her to Jax. Scheana is busy on her phone, and says Adam hates her, because now is the time to bring up Scheana stuff. Ariana asks how her date went, and after drawing this attention to herself, Scheana says, today is about Brittany. Brittany thought it was okay with Adam if Scheana dated. Scheana says he’s mad. What happened to, don’t ask, don’t tell? I’m double-minded here. She said she wouldn’t post about it, yet still sent the other girls a video, and basically rubbed his nose in it. But he also asked to see it when she sent it to her friends. He didn’t have to look. Either way though, he has every right to be mad. Katie says Adam has feelings for Scheana. Scheana says he hates her now, and he’s her best friend. Stassi says Scheana claims Adam is her best friend, and they’re also having sex. It’s a relationship. Scheana doesn’t want to talk about it. Brittany says her bridesmaid thing is over. Now it’s girl time, because she’s the loveliest human being on earth. Since Jax is a frontrunner in being the worst human being on earth, we’ll see if good ultimately triumphs over evil.

Jax brings future dad-in-law Don dad to TomTom. There are a bunch of brothers, but I only catch the names Wes and Blake. Jax says all he has to do is show up to the wedding, the way it is for most grooms. He thinks it seems like a lot of work. They’re in an open-air section, and Don says it’s a good thing it’s not raining. Wes or Blake says it rains money in LA. Don says it seems like the big rock Jax gave Brittany is important, but what’s important to him is the faithfulness behind it. In Jax’s interview, he says he knew this would happen. Jax admits it’s terrible that it took his dad’s passing for him to figure this sh*t out. Don says he screwed up royally, which didn’t please him at all, and probably no one else was pleased. Jax says he was going through personal issues. Don wants to know Jax is trying, and doing his best. That’s his concern. In his interview, Jax knows he screwed up, but how many times is he going to get the third degree? Jax brings up the bachelor party, and Don says, surely, he’s not invited. Jax says. bad things are going to happen. The brother I think is Wes, says if Jax screws up, they’ll make his life a living hell. Don asks if he got everyone’s blessing. Possibly Wes asks if he’s going to love and cherish Brittany the way they do. In his interview, inching forward in the running for worst human, Jax says he doesn’t know what decade they live in, or maybe it’s how they do things in Kentucky, that you always take care of your spouse. He clearly does not know the meaning of the word spouse either. He asks, what about him? Shouldn’t Brittany love and cherish him? and Wes (I think) says Brittany does love and cherish Jax. Jax says he’s not going anywhere, and maybe Wes says it comes down to how they talk to each other. Jax says it’s hard for him. He needs to have the last word. He says he loves Brittany more than anything, and because we can add stupidest human being on the earth, he adds he has to take care of himself first. He’ll always be number one.

Next time – the finale, and it’s a lot – Schwartz shows Katie a TomTom onesie, Scheana says Adam won’t speak to her, Ariana says she’s talking to Lisa, the engagement party happens, Raquel tells James that he has to change his approach with everyone, Lisa tells Ariana to lighten up, and Adam confronts Scheana.

👑 The Game In a Nutshell…

On Game of Thrones, it was the night before the war, and what might be the last night of anyone’s or everyone’s life. Brienne saved Jaime’s neck by vouching for him, and Dany and Sansa made nice because they both love Jon. Tormund showed up, and made googly eyes at Brienne. Arya saw that the Hound was back, but no more roadshow for them. Arya is all growed up now, and since it might be their last night, wanted to know what it was like – with Gendry. When she started asking him for his sexual history, I was like, is she…? Yes, she was. Tyrion noted the irony that most of them had fought the Starks at one time or another, and now they were defending them. Tormund didn’t understand why Brienne couldn’t be a knight, and Jaime pointed out that you didn’t need a king to knight someone, only another knight. Brienne of Tarth became a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, and we all got misty-eyed. Podrick sang a song around the campfire, and Missandei kissed Grey Worm goodbye. Then the hard part. Jon told Dany about his heritage. She acknowledged that if it was true – only his best friend and brother had confirmed it – that he would be heir to the Iron Throne. But before there could be further discussion and reaction, everyone got called off to war. The dead had arrived.

🙇 Best quote: Jaime: Everything I did, I did for my house and my family. I’d do it all again. Bran: The things we do for love.

💭 A Possible Theory…

Could Podrick’s song be a clue to the finale?


📡 Some Commentary…

Be sure to check out the behind-the-scenes video. My favorite subtitle: ♫ somber music plays ♫


👄 For Your Amusement…

A recap from Betches you could definitely hang out with.


🎶 And For Your Listening Pleasure…

Podrick sings Jenny of Oldstones.