Tag Archives: HAHN

June 4, 2019 – Ryan Makes a Decision, a Wrong Supposition, Kyle Plans a Trip, Losing LVP, Another 90 & Provence

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly tells Sonny that she just saw her first firefly. I’m baffled, thinking she means the first ever, but she means this season. She asks if he remembers when Morgan would try to get them to follow him in. Sonny says, he didn’t want to catch them, and wanted them to follow him. That way, they could be friends. She says, he loved this time of year; school ending, and summer on the way. Sonny says, he’d leave the house, and not come back until dinner. She says, Josslyn is the same way, but not this year. There’s no excitement, no smile, no laughter. She doesn’t know what to do about it. Josslyn comes in with her guitar, and says she took an online lesson. She’s trying to build on the chords Oscar was teaching her. She plays for them.

In Tanzania, Drew comes to Kim’s room with Oscar’s ashes. He didn’t know if she wanted them in his room or hers. She downs some coffee, and he asks if she thinks that’s a good idea. They have a long hard climb ahead. She says she’ll be ready. He tells her Kilimanjaro is the biggest mountain in Africa. She says she doesn’t want to sleep.

TJ tells Jordan that he can’t believe that bastard won’t give her a kidney. Instead, he’s giving her a death sentence. She says she wants him to forgive Ryan – and forgive her.

Someone puts an injection into a sleeping Ryan’s IV. The machine starts beeping, and he wakes up. He begins to have a seizure.

Curtis sits in the waiting area. Stella sees him, and says she takes it Ryan refuses save Jordan.

Elizabeth and Finn run into Ryan’s room. Elizabeth says he’s seizing. Finn holds Ryan, asking if he okay. He asks if Ryan can hear him, and says he had a seizure. He says, don’t try talk. They’re going to take some tests to find out why it happened, and prevent it from happening again. Ryan says he’s going to die.

In a hallway, Franco takes off a pair of surgical gloves, and tosses them in the trash. Cameron asks when he became a doctor. He’s wondering what Franco needs gloves for.

Drew asks Kim, what’s wrong, aside from having to scatter Oscar’s ashes? Why doesn’t she want to sleep? She says, because when she sleeps, she dreams Oscar is still alive. It’s so real that she wakes up, and goes into his bedroom, fully expecting to see him there, and he’s not. So she’d rather stay awake. Even as much agony as it is, it’s better than losing him over and over again.

Carly loves that Josslyn is making good use of Oscar’s guitar. Josslyn says she wanted to learn before Oscar died. He was in the middle of teaching her, but she’d get impatient, and ask him to play instead. They never got very far. Sonny says she’s a natural, and they’ll get her lessons after she finishes school. She says she’d like that. She’s supposed to make plans and keep moving. Carly tells her to feel whatever she’s feeling, and come to them when she needs help. Sonny says, it will take a while to get on track. Josslyn keeps thinking about Oscar’s final words. He told her everything would be all right; that she would be all right, and she promised him that she would be Carly says she’ll get there. Take it day by day, and somehow remember to breathe. Josslyn doesn’t want to breathe. She doesn’t want to be dead, but it’s hard. She’ll do it for Oscar, and for everyone who’s supporting her. Carly feels the baby move, and asks Josslyn if she wants to feel her little brother or sister. Josslyn puts her hand on Carly’s stomach, and says she can feel it. They all smile.

Josslyn says, amazing, and a little weird. There’s a person inside Carly’s body. She asks what it feels like, and Carly says like she swallowed a bunch of butterflies. Josslyn says, stuff just got real. There’s a little life in there. Sonny says it scares him to death. There’s a little person waiting to be born, who needs to be loved and protected. He doesn’t want to fail. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world, and the most terrifying thing in the world. Carly says, true. Having a baby is crazy. Sonny says, a reminder that life goes on.

Franco tells Cameron that he was using acetone to clean up some paint. It eats at the skin. Cameron says it sounds nasty, and Franco says, cleaning up is nasty business, which is an interesting choice of words. He asks how Cameron is doing, and Cameron says, with? Franco says, Oscar’s death. He must miss his friend. Cameron says if he wants to talk about Oscar, or anything, he’ll Franco know. He leaves, and Elizabeth comes out. She tells Franco that Ryan had a seizure, and is getting tests. Franco says, good. He hopes that’s the end of him.

TJ asks what Jordan did that needs forgiveness. She says she tries not to dwell on what she’d do differently, but she’s sorry for the time she missed with him.

Stella tells Curtis that she’ll talk to Ryan, but he says, leave it be. She says she most certainly will not. He says he doesn’t want her in the same room with that twisted freak. She says if he’s going to tell her that he thinks Ryan will manipulate her, she just might be offended.

Josslyn asks how she’s supposed to not think about Oscar, and get used to him not being there. Carly says, you never get used to the absence of someone you love. You just kind of grow around it. Other people come into your life, and take up space in your heart, and one day you find yourself surrounded by friends and family. You look up, and realize you didn’t think about the loss for just a minute. You were able to let go. That minute stretches to another minute, then an hour. The hole in your heart is still there; it just aches little less. Sonny tells her to keep Oscar’s memory tucked away, and eventually it will be a comfort. He promises. Carly says, until then, her family will be there for her. They’ll always take care of her. She holds Josslyn.

Kim tells Drew that she knew losing Oscar would be the most painful experience of her life. The most unimaginable pain. She didn’t know how to prepare for it. She’s not a person who likes to be caught off guard. She’s a doctor, and like procedure and facts, but it’s not about her being doctor. She’s a mother who lost her son. Drew sits next to her, and she says she doesn’t know how to feel from one moment to the next. She doesn’t know if she’ll burst out in tears when she’s pumping gas, or come across Oscar’s coat in the hall closet and smile. (While I’ve never lost a child, I can totally identify with this.) She doesn’t know how she’s going to do this. How is she going to make the journey up the mountain to scatter their son’s ashes. Drew says he’ll tell her how; because she’s a great mother. She says she thought it would help, but she doesn’t know what do with it, or how say goodbye for last time to her only child. Drew doesn’t think you ever say goodbye, but he makes her a promise. As long as he’s alive, she doesn’t have to do it alone. They hug.

Elizabeth tells Franco the alarms went off, and she couldn’t help think it’s what Ryan deserves. He doesn’t know how she manages to be a kind and healing nurse. She says, it’s her job. She spent time with Jordan earlier, and thanked her for Franco’s award. He says it still blows him away. As sick as Jordan is, she found the energy to acknowledge him. Elizabeth says he did something heroic, but he says he didn’t volunteer, and was pretty much bitching the whole time. He’s glad Jordan coerced him though. Sometimes the end justifies the means.

Curtis says he appreciates Stella trying, but it won’t do no good. She asks how he knows. He says they’re going to fight with everything they have. Stella says he’s done everything he can and more. Let her have a go. Finn approaches them, and says he has news about Ryan.

TJ understands what Jordan had do and why. It’s not a pretty story, but somehow through it all, her, him, Curtis, and Aunt Stella are a family. Jordan thanks him, and he says he can’t lose her. He wants her to see him become a doctor and hold her grandbabies. He wants to make her proud. She hugs him, and says, he has. a million times over. There’s a knock at the door, and Finn, Stella and Curtis come in. Finn says he has something to tell them about Ryan.

Josslyn practices on the terrace. Cameron comes out, and says she’s getting better. When she builds up calluses, it will be easier. She calls him Mr. Stealth Guitar Player, and asks when he started playing. He tells her, seventh grade. He had detention, and the teacher said it would be in both their interests to keep him occupied, and keep his fingers busy. So he taught Cameron guitar. Josslyn asks why he never told anyone, and he says he didn’t think it fit his image. The teacher gave him the guitar at the end of the year, and he’s been playing ever since. He didn’t get serious until… Josslyn says, Oscar got sick. Cameron says, music can let you say things you don’t have the words to say.

Finn says Ryan’s seizure turned out to be an allergic reaction to one of his medications. Stella asks if Ryan’s kidney is still good, and Finn says it is. Ryan is conscious now, and came back charming as ever. Jordan asks if Ryan is under guard, and Finn says he can’t hurt anyone. Curtis says he’s going to get Jordan a kidney.

Elisabeth asks where Franco went earlier, and he says, Kiki’s grave. Today would have been her birthday. She says, if she’d known, she would have gone with him, but he says it was spur of the moment. He thought with Ryan in custody, he could find serenity and a way to accept what happened. She asks if he did, but he says, not at all. Ava was there, and talking to her made him realize how much rage he still has about all of it. Kiki had so much to live for; so much to give. The only value Ryan has is to maybe help save Jordan’s life.

TJ approaches Ryan’s room, where Valerie stands guard. She says he’s wasting his time. TJ says Ryan is the only one who can save his mom. Valerie can argue with him, or wish him luck. She says, good luck, and he goes in. Ryan asks if he’s come to see the wounded animal, and revel in his suffering. TJ says nothing, and Ryan says, no. He’s here for the most mundane reason of all; to beg for his mother’s life. Save it. He’s heard it all. Outside the room, Stella asks Valerie if TJ is in with him. Valerie says she tried talking him out of it, but he was determined. Stella says TJ is a wonderful young man, but he’s no match for that filth. Valerie asks if Stella thinks she is, and Stella says, watch her. Ryan says, kid, listen. Nothing less than his unconditional release and subsequent freedom will convince him to give up a kidney. Not him, his mom, not even the Mother of Dragons. It’s useless. Stella says, listen to him with his posturing attitude, ranting and raving. She tells him that he won’t be getting any rest tonight. She’s not leaving his room until Jordan gets his kidney, one way or another.

Cameron tells Josslyn that he knows the kids at school are weird, but it will stop. She says, it’s not that. She just had a deep conversation about Oscar with Sonny and her mom. She got to feel the baby move, and it was pretty cool. Cameron says, sounds good. She says she was all, life goes on, but felt like she was outside of her body, watching herself pretend be a functioning person who will someday be okay. She wasn’t lying to herself, but she doesn’t feel that way. She doesn’t want to be okay. She doesn’t want to stop thinking about Oscar, because that would be like losing him all over again.

Sonny and Carly go to Morgan’s grave. Sonny says, the first lilac of the summer. Morgan loved it because he knew summer was coming soon. Carly wishes Morgan was there. He was a great big brother. Josslyn puts up a good front, but she doesn’t want to hover. Josslyn hates it as much as Morgan did. Sonny says they know deep inside, there’s a lot of pain. Carly says Morgan could always get Josslyn to open up and be herself. She had that with Oscar too. Sonny brushes leaves from the tombstone, and says Morgan would have liked Oscar. Keep an eye out for him up there. He’s gonna need a pal.

Ryan says, the dreaded social worker. Please spare him the bleeding heart. Stella doesn’t give a flip if he mocks her. She’s a believer. He says, in what? and she says, in a higher power. A higher power we sometimes appreciate, and sometimes beg for mercy. A higher power we sometimes question, and sometimes curse. Curtis and TJ don’t understand how the stars have aligned to spare Ryan’s life and not Jordan’s. He says, only the good die young? She says he’s cheated death a few times, and it was all leading to this moment. All the horrible acts he’s perpetrated, all the victims he’s killed and damaged; every move he’s ever made, brought him to this pivotal moment. Nothing could kill him. Does he know why? He has the feeling she’s going to tell him. She says he’s obsessed with himself. He can’t bear the thought of ceasing to exist. He’s tenacious; holding on to life. If he refuses, ignores fate, and doesn’t do what cosmic forces are telling him, those forces will come together and painfully kill him. He’ll take his final breath and go straight to hell. No more quests for victims or chasing after Ava. Give up his kidney and live, or withhold it and die. The choice is his. Wow. Not what I expected.

Jordan tells Curtis the moments with him and TJ have been the happiest moments of her life. She’s happy they moved there. Curtis feels the same way. Jordan says she wanted to get her affairs in order, but she doesn’t need to. Curtis can take care of everything. He tells her, don’t give up, but she says she doesn’t have much choice. Her body can’t keep going. She loves him, and will die loving him. He says he loves her, and always will. Jordan wants him to pick up the pieces and go on living. He’ll find someone else. He says, don’t talk like that; he’s not hearing it. TJ runs in, and tells them, Ryan said yes. He’s giving Jordan his kidney. Stella got through to him. Curtis says he’d better find out. It might be a cruel joke. He leaves, and TJ tells Jordan, it’s going to be okay.

Finn asks if Ryan is consenting. Ryan says, don’t get any ideas. He’s not doing it because of Stella’s nonsense about fate and a higher power. He just wants to get her to shut up. She says, whatever works. He says, surgery without anesthesia would be less tortuous, and Finn asks if he’d like to forego the anesthesia. Ryan says, it’s called hyperbole. If he signs the forms, and he never wants to see her again. Stella says, fine with her. He says she’s the most annoying person he’s ever crossed paths with. Curtis and Stella hug.

Valerie tells Stella she was right. Ryan was no match for her. Stella tells her, don’t say that until he signs. Finn gives him the papers, and Curtis says, let’s get this ball rolling, handing Ryan a pen.

Drew tells Kim to get some sleep. He’ll be right next door. She asks if he really thinks Oscar is on the mountain. He says he can’t believe a spirit like Oscar’s could just be gone. He’s out there somewhere; wherever he wants to be. She wants to see him one more time, and know he’s okay. Her good, sweet boy out there. Drew says that’s why they’re there. All she has to do is believe.

Josslyn tells Cameron that she was thinking at the Nurses Ball. When her voice was getting thin, and she thought she’d have to stop, she looked at the crowd, and Oscar was there. He helped her through. Cameron says, amazing. He could tell Josslyn was thinking about him. Josslyn says her mom and Sonny tell her, in time, the ache will be less, and she’ll grow around Oscar’s absence. What if she doesn’t want to? No one is asking her to forget, but she doesn’t want to feel better, move on, or get over Oscar. She wants to remember how he was and is. She tells Cameron, look! Fireflies!

Sonny tells Morgan, in the middle of everything, they got incredible news. No one can take his place, but they have a new baby coming into the family. Carly says they’re going to tell the baby all about him. Sonny says, maybe the fireflies will come around and light the place up. Carly says, look! There they are!

Josslyn catches a firefly, and tells Cameron, Oscar said if you catch the last firefly of the season, and make a wish, it will come true. Maybe it works for the first one too. Cameron covers her hands with his own. She closes her eyes, and says, okay. She lets it go, and they watch. Josslyn says when she first did this with Oscar, she wished they’d fall in love, and it came true. How lucky is she? Cameron smiles.

Ryan asks if Finn realizes the most loathed man in Port Charles is about to sign a paper that says they can put him under and remove a vital organ. He’ll be vulnerable, and he wouldn’t put it past them to mess with his anesthesia. Finn says he’ll be treated with the same care and respect as every other patient. Stella says she’ll speak up for him at his sentencing. He has her word. They wait, and he finally signs, surprising us all. He throws the pen down, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Tomorrow, Willow tells Chase it’s not possible, Michael says they have to be willing to do anything to get Shiloh, Harmony visits Shiloh, and Sonny tells Jason to take Shiloh’s word for it if Jason won’t take his. In other words, lots of Shiloh tomorrow.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, David was identifying what he thought to be Jeffrey’s body, and Veronica was surprised to see someone.

David says, it’s not him; it’s not his son. Madison says, no, it’s not. David gets pissed at Madison, who says the call was from that address. He’s sorry. David says he’s fired, and stomps off. Madison cries on Tisha’s shoulder.

The door opens, and Veronica sees Jeffrey. After she gets over the initial shock, she says he’s leaving there. Justin says, it was just a joke. Jeffrey tells Justin not to talk to him. Shooting a gun with a blank isn’t a joke. Jeffrey walks off, and Veronica tells Justin that Jeffrey is leaving him. Justin says, shut your mouth, bitch. She’s already taken everything from him. She says he still has his life, and Justin says, it’s nothing without Jeffrey. She says she’ll remember that. Go back in your house, girl. Justin slams the door.

Veronica follows Jeffrey to the parking lot, where she has his car blocked. A woman asks Veronica to move her car. Veronica ignores her, and says Jeffrey needs to talk to her. The woman keeps asking Veronica to move her car, and Veronica gets in her face, telling her, shut up, bitch. The woman says she’ll call building security, and Veronica says, please do. Jeffrey tells Veronica to stop blocking his car, but she says she just wants to talk to him. She asks if that boy put a gun to him and pulled the trigger, and Jeffrey says, yes. She says she and his father thought he was dead. What the hell is happening? He says, what’s happening is her moving her car. She says she’s not moving it until she’s finished, and he says they’ll stand there all day then.

The woman brings Justin over, and points out Veronica. Echoing my thoughts, Veronica says this is their security officer? Justin says he’s an officer of law. She laughs, and says he’s got to be fired. He tells her to move her car, but she says she’s not done talking to her son. Justin says her son doesn’t want to talk to her. Veronica asks if he’s been reduced to a remedial cop now. The woman tells Justin that they should call the police, and he says he is the police. Veronica says, used to be. She calls Justin a little bitch, and he cracks her across the face, asking, who’s the little bitch now? Jeffrey steps in, and Justin slams him up against a car. Veronica beats on Justin with her bag, and the woman says she’s calling the real police. Jeffrey gets Justin in a choke hold, and David shows up. He asks, what the hell is going on? and separates them.

Veronica tells David, that thing hit her. He asks if Jeffrey is all right, and Veronica says she was the one who was hit. David tells her to stop it and calm down. Jeffrey says she wouldn’t move her car. Veronica says that boy hit her and David’s precious son, and Jeffrey let him do it. Jeffrey says he didn’t. Veronica wishes Justin had killed Jeffrey’s ass. Jeffrey can’t believe what she said, and she says it slapped her, and Jeffrey took his sweet time intervening. She can beat Justin better than Jeffrey. David tells her again to calm down, and she says he’s on this queen’s side. It doesn’t matter what happened to her; just like before. She says they can all kiss her ass, and gets in her car. She points at Justin and says, you, little girl hit the wrong bitch. You’ll see.

David asks, what happened? Justin says, his son, and David says get out of his face. Justin says David should pay him for slapping that bitch, since he can’t. Jeffrey tells Justin to go, and Justin says Jeffrey’s whole family is screwed up. Like Jeffrey doesn’t know this already. David says they thought Jeffrey was shot. He can’t see that boy again. Jeffrey says, but David can see Veronica. David says, that boy is deadly, and Jeffrey says, and mom isn’t? Jeffrey is forcing his hand. He asks Jeffrey to come home, and Jeffrey says he’ll get his things. He’s not staying there, but he’s not staying with David either. David says he can’t tell Jeffrey what’s going on with Veronica, but it’s not what he thinks. Meet him at home, and he’ll explain. Jeffrey relents, and says he’ll be there.

Wyatt paces in his room. He looks out, and sees RK coming back with the car – and the coke. RK gets out of the car, and does a little dance. Wyatt asks where the hell he’s been, and RK says, around. Wyatt tells him, throw the stuff up, but RK says, throw the money down. RK decides to knock on door, and see if anyone is home. He knocks and Wyatt flies down the stairs, yelling, he’s got it. Jim says he’ll get it. RK comes in, and Jim asks if he just walked in. RK took his wife’s car. RK says he did, but she said he could. Jim tells RK that he said he couldn’t. How did he get the keys. RK points to Wyatt, and says, his boy. Jim asks why Wyatt did that, and RK echoes, yeah, why? Jim tells him, shut up and get the hell out of his house. Wyatt says he’s stuck there, and wants RK to hang out. Jim tells RK to give him the keys and get out. Wyatt jets back upstairs.

Wyatt says goes back out on the balcony, and tells RK he’s got the money. RJ says he ain’t doing this with him, but Wyatt says he has a watch worth six grand. RK tells him, get it, and Wyatt goes into Kathryn’s room. He takes the watch, and tosses it down. He tells RK, throw it up. RK says, no, and starts to walk away. He turns back, saying he was just messing with Wyatt, and tosses the bag up. Nice catch. Wyatt says, this is it? RK says give him more jewelry, and he’ll get more product. He works at he Artisian; call him there.

The Presidential motorcade pulls up at Charles’s house mansion. He tells Candace he’ll show her around. She’s impressed, and says, it’s modern classic. She wouldn’t have figured it. He says that’s him too. She sees a picture of his wife, and says she was beautiful. He thanks her, and asks if she wants a drink. Candace says, wine, if he has it, and he pours a glass of red for both of them. She marvels over the art, and Charles tells her that his wife painted them. She says, he misses her; he says her name in his sleep. He says, like what she does with her son, and she says they’re both in the same boat. He guesses they are, and she says, it’s good they have each other. He says, exactly right, and thanks her for being there. She says for the first time in her life, she feels like she can breathe. He says that makes two of them… since his wife died. He doesn’t want to lose her, and she says she’s not going anywhere. He says, it’s not going to be easy. She says they have each other. He tells her that he’s just getting a few personal things for him and the kids, and she asks if she can help. He says he’ll show her the rooms.

Back at the hotel, Scott places the drink order that’s code for ordering a prostitute. RK says the drink doesn’t sound appealing (and it doesn’t), but Scott says it’s what he likes. He’s tired, horny, and thirsty. RK says the hotel can help him with being tired, and he can help with thirsty, but horny he doesn’t know. Scott says he must know the spots, and RK tells him to talk to Rocky. Scott says, what if he wanted a threesome or foursome? RK says he’s heard of those things being arranged, and gets Scott’s room number. He asks if he should bill it to the room, but Scott says he has ten grand, and wants RK, Rocky, and some random woman he points out, to come to the room. RK says, two guys and a girl? Scott asks if he didn’t say he was a freak. RK says give him an hour.

RK goes behind the bar, and tells Rocky that he was offered ten grand. Rocky says, to do what? and RK says, to get with the two of them and her. Rocky says she’s not a working girl, but RK says, don’t worry about that. He’s going to rob the dude’s ass. Rocky says the guy looks smart, and RK says, not to him. It doesn’t matter. Rocky thinks they should go together. RK tells him to ask Broderick to cover the bar. Broderick, who I again was calling Roderick. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me and names, but it happens IRL too. I wish everyone would just wear name tags. Rocky says, let’s make some money.

Rocky tells Broderick, it looks like they got an easy ten grand. A guy wants him and RK, and a girl. Will he watch the bar? Broderick says, sure, and Rocky asks what’s up with him? Broderick says, nothing, but Rocky says it’s written on his face. It’s Kathryn, isn’t it? Is she still all over him like cheap suit? Broderick says she’s not why he’s upset, and tells Rocky, take care of business.

Jeffrey pulls up to David’s house mansion. Madison is sitting outside, and Jeffrey asks why he’s out there. Madison says he came to get his things. David fired him. Jeffrey asks what did he do? and Madison says he made a mistake. They got a call about a gunshot victim, and Madison thought it was Jeffrey, since it was on the same street as Justin’s place. He’s sorry. Jeffrey says it could have been him. Justin pulled a gun on him. He had two guns; one on Jeffrey, and one on himself. He said one gun had a real bullet, and the other had a blank. Justin likes playing games. He actually pulled the trigger, and almost blew out Jeffrey’s eardrum. Madison asks if Jeffrey wants him to look at it, but Jeffrey says he’s fine. Madison says, it’s serious. If he doesn’t see Jeffrey again, he can’t let Justin do this. Jeffrey says he knows it, and hears enough from his parents. He says his dad should be behind him, and lets Madison in.

Madison says he’s sorry. Jeffrey says he is too, and Madison says they could have been good together. Jeffrey says Madison doesn’t even know him, but Madison says he’s seen enough to know Jeffrey goes for troubled guys. He’s punishing himself. Jeffrey repeats that Madison doesn’t know him, and he has actually studied this. Madison says, it’s always the student who can’t see, and Jeffrey tells him, get his stuff. Madison reminds Jeffrey to get on his dad about changing the bandages, and keeping his wounds dry, and goes upstairs.

Jim calls Lloyd. He needs $75K, cash, and he’s picking it up today. Lloyd says, well.. He doesn’t have it in his account. Jim says they, but Lloyd says he’s had strict instructions from Jim’s wife. She won’t give him any money. Jim asks how much is in his account, and Lloyd says, $3400. Jim asks if Kathryn knows, and says not to tell her. He’s waiting for an $8 million transfer. He’ll call when it gets there.

Outside the kitchen, Kathryn says she’s called three times. Call her back. Jim asks who’s not calling her back, and Kathryn asks what he did. He says, nothing, and she asks if he didn’t threaten Broderick. He says he didn’t have to. Broderick isn’t interested in her. She says he seems to be, and Jim says she’s going to get her ass sued. Contrary to popular belief, sexual harassment works both ways. She tells him to go find something to do. He says he could find someone to do, but she’s out of town. Jim tells her that he needs $75K in cash, and she says that’s his problem. He says it sounds like it’s their problem. If the money doesn’t get to the Malones by the end of the day, they’ll put a hit out on their son. Kathryn asks, what kind of hit? and he says, how many kinds are there? They’ll kill him. Does she think he’s talking about a hit record? Kathryn says Wyatt bought that much in drugs? Jim says, no; they’re saying it’s for pain and suffering. She says, give it to them, and he says he doesn’t have it. He needs her to call Lloyd. She asks why she should. He says, would she like to bury another child? She says, that’s not fair, and he says, call and get the money.

Kathryn calls, and makes small talk with Lloyd. She tells him that she needs $75K cash. She’ll send her errand boy to pick it up. Lloyd might know him. His name is Jim. She tells Lloyd not to say that about Jim, and laughs. When she’s done, Jim asks if that was so difficult. She says, it better be for Wyatt, and he says, who else? She says, one of his whores, but he says, her whores are the ones currently charging those rates. Last night’s wore took her car. She says, it’s back, isn’t it? He says she’s some piece of work, and she says he’s some piece of sh*t.

Scott tells the Attorney General that he was right. The AG asks what Scott found, and Scott gives him a folder. The AG says, he knew it. Scott asks if he was robbed at gunpoint, and the AG says, something like that. Scott says the Artisian keeps security records. The head of security is ex-military, and runs it like it’s war time. He got the tapes, and also got this. He gives the AG another folder. It shows the time the AG spent in Candace’s room. The AG says, it’s perfect. Scott shows him Jim’s picture, saying he’s a judge who was running for governor, but was disgraced by his mistress. She blackmailed him for a lot of money. Her name was Candace Young. The AG says, it gets better and better. He tells Scott, set up a discreet meeting. Scott says, that could backfire, but the AG says, this man is his kind of guy.

Veronica goes to the station. For a second, I think the desk sergeant is Rick (If Loving You Is Wrong), but it’s not. Veronica says she’s been assaulted. He tells her to fill out the paperwork, but she says she just wants him arrested. It’s Officer Justin Lewis. The sergeant says, okay. She says she wants him picked up. He was harassing her son, and when she stepped in to help out, he hit her. She shows him the mark on her face, but he doesn’t see it. She tells him, look closer, and he says he needs the paperwork. She pulls the restraining order out of her bag, and says she also has a lawsuit against him. And in the event of his death, a lawsuit against his estate, his wife, and his children. If he doesn’t have Justin picked up now, his job is on the line. She asks if he’s new, and he says he is. She tells him, get someone experienced who can handle this, and he says okay, probably desperate to get rid of her.

The Chief comes out, and Veronica tells him what happened, and says to let her know when Justin is in custody. He says, it doesn’t work that way. She says wants Justin arrested, now. The Chief wants to know what he did, and she shows him an affidavit. He looks at it, and says, okay. They’ll pick Justin up. Veronica asks what jail he’ll be taken to, and the Chief says, this one. She says they can call her when Justin gets there, but he says, that’s not protocol. She says she’s not their average bitch, and he says, okay. Because by now, he’s been sufficiently terrorized enough to just say okay to anything.

Veronica makes a call. She tells someone she wants him and five others to get themselves arrested in Precinct 11. She tells him to find some friends who like to rape and maim. He needs to do it quickly. She’ll give them $5K to split. She tells him to get arrested now.

Hanna and Benny go to the bank. The officer says she still has their signatures, and leaves to get the paperwork for Benny. Benny starts to talk, but Hanna says, nothing out of his mouth. They’re giving the money back. The officer returns, and Benny signs the papers. Hanna says they want to transfer everything except $20K. The officer looks at the account, and asks how much she thinks is in there. Hanna says $8 million, plus interest. The officer says, sorry, but the account is overdrawn by $4K. There’s no money in the account. Hanna looks at Benny, and says, his damn sister.

Next time, Charles says if the story hits and Landon can’t spin it, he’s fired; Justin gets arrested, and Veronica tells him that she bets he thinks twice before hitting a woman again; Jeffrey tells David, maybe death is better than being in this family.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

We see clips of the wildfires in California. Kyle, Teddi, and LisaR are in a car on the phone with Camille, then Denise. Camille is under mandatory evacuation. Denise thinks her house might be burning down.

Five days earlier. Dorit is choosing girls for a photo shoot. Kyle fixes Portia’s hair. Teddi gives Slade a riding lesson.

Erika meets LisaR for Mexican food. Erica compliments LisaR on her CVLUX cover. LisaR says it was a fun shoot. She asks if Erika had fun at the party, and Erika says she had the best time ever watching LisaR. We flash back to them on the Ferris wheel. In her interview, Erika says she loves that LisaR came to Farrahween as Erika at Coachella. When you’re a Halloween costume, you’ve made it. I have to agree with that. LisaE says she and Kim have moved on from their feud. In LisaR’s interview, she says she always liked Kim, and it’s time for the healing to take place. She tells Erika that she’s totally cool if someone says something negative to her face, but Camille says one thing to them, then talks behind their backs. Hmm… Isn’t she doing the same thing right now? Erika says Teddi told her what happened in the van. LisaR says Camille said a couple of things about Dorit that weren’t lovely, and said some things about Teddi to Denise. In Erika’s interview, she says she understands they’re frustrated with camille. They’ve gone to her events, and they’re feeling betrayed. Erika says Camille has a beef with pretty much everyone. LisaR says, she doesn’t know she has a beef with Dorit, and Erika says, but she’s about to.

Dorit talks the models through the shoot. She’s so excited and proud of her line growing, and becoming something she’s proud of. In her interview, she says, today is important. They’re shooting footage for a Kitson window display. I’m confused, since I thought Kitson went out of business. She says, it’s an incredible honor, and she wants to nail it. PK brings the kids to the shoot, and she tells Jagger that he needs to help mommy sell boys shorts. Jagger poses for pictures solo, and then with other models. Dorit’s assistant, Kimberly, forgot some pieces. In her interview, Dorit says she’s done a ton of photo shoots, and never remembers a time when something didn’t go wrong. It’s important for everything to be perfect. A lot of time, money, and effort goes into it, to make it go without a hitch. They have to make the most and best of the situation. They do a final shot of all the models together with Jagger. Everyone applauds.

Kyle’s dogs are out of control, and she runs out after them. She wonders why they can’t behave. She calls Marlena from Hosted Villas about a Chateau Ventoux in Provence. She says she’s thinking of bringing girlfriends, and wants to check dates. In her interview, she says they’ve been doing a lot of trips, and she saw the chateau is a Vogue article about Provence. She thought it was perfect. She asks Marlena about the staff, and asks if they can have a chef. She thinks it sounds amazing, and says she’ll call back after she confirms with the other girls.

She calls the others to lock down a date. In Kyle’s interview, she says the Bahamas was fun, but tense. The camping trip was really fun, but not glamorous. She wants go somewhere fun, chic, and exiting, where they can relax and bond. Teddi tells Kyle that she’s 99% sure she can go, but wants to run it by her husband. Kyle says maybe she should do that too.

Harry gets ready to grill. LisaR says it’s hard to keep track which daughter is vegetarian. In her interview, she says more than anything she loves having the whole family home. Lately, Harry has either been in Canada or camping, and the girls have been traveling. When she’s alone, she comes up with things to entertain herself. We see her bouncing around on Instagram. Harry is trying to hunt down the cheese he bought. Amelia pretends she knows nothing about it, but tells Delilah and LisaR that she ate it. In LisaR’s interview, she says Amelia has issues with food. We flash back to Amelia talking about anorexia. LisaR says it’s two steps forward, and one back. It’s not easy, and they do it one day at a time. She wants to fix it, and make it go away. You don’t want to see your child in pain. She asks Amelia to have a little something, and Amelia says she’s even allergic to corn. LisaR wonders if Amelia is going to have this forever. Amelia insists she’s not hungry. LisaR says she loves Harry, but the veggie burger tastes like rubber.

Harry says maybe Amelia doesn’t want to eat, but he’s having dessert. Amelia gives him the finger behind his back. In LisaR’s interview, she says maybe they did something; she doesn’t know, but it’s hard to watch Amelia be in pain. Amelia asks if it makes Harry angry that she’s not eating his food. If so, they have to work through it. She says the energy is effed up, and asks why he’s so passive aggressive. LisaR says he fathered these children. He says he doesn’t think he’s responsible for their behavior, and thinks she’s responsible. Me too, and it’s no surprise he’s never around.

The women get together for a lunch. Kyle shows them photos from the party. LisaR says it took a long time to get out of Erika Jayne. In Kyle’s interview, she says things were rough between Kim and LisaR before the party. She thinks LisaR was using Erika’s persona to speak rudely to her sister. She doesn’t want to say anything right now, but thinks it’s complete bullsh*t. Dorit talks about the photo shoot, and says she’s doing the Kitson window. She’s super excited. She says she spoke to PK, who’s in London, and he told her to go on the trip. LisaR says Harry told her to go. I’ll bet he did.

Erika arrives last, and asks, what’s happening? Kyle says she closed her store, and felt so bad, she started bawling. She opened seven years ago. In her interview, she says seeing her name on a corner she drove by her entire life felt exciting. We flash back to the opening. She says the rent in Beverly Hills is through the roof. Because of that, combined with more people shopping online, it didn’t make sense to stay open. LisaR says, it’s sad, and agrees about the rent. In her interview, LisaR says when she had a store, she and Harry were relying on it as income, so they were in a more precarious position. Luckily, Kyle is in a position where Mauricio is doing well, and she’ll be fine.

Kyle shows them the chateau website on her phone. Erika says she’s been to Provence, but nothing like this. In her interview, LisaR says she likes a hotel with her own room, where she can escape if she needs to, but she’s open to it. She likes the word chateau. In Erika’s interview, she says, the house is beautiful, and it’s the French countryside; no need for glam.

LisaR asks if Camille is coming. Kyle says she left a message. Dorit asks LisaR what Camille said, but LisaR says it’s not her place. She says she can tell Camille that she thinks she should talk to Dorit. Kyle thinks LisaR should just let them know. I think this should be an all or nothing situation. LisaR should have either kept her damn mouth shut about it, or told Dorit everything. To me, it’s nasty to tell someone that a friend is talking about them, but not what was said. It’s not fair to just leave them hanging and imagining what it must be. In LisaR’s interview, she says that if she hadn’t been mad at Camille, she wouldn’t have said anything. That’s nasty to. Point proved. We flash back to LisaR telling Dorit that Camille was talking about her. She says she doesn’t want to hurt Dorit’s feelings. Kyle says if Camille is pretending to be nice, yet saying nasty things behind Dorit’s back, LisaR has to tell her. Dorit thinks it’s scary that Camille is acting nice, but might have residual feelings from their past altercation. Teddi says wait until LVP hears what Camille said about her teeth. We flash back to Camille saying LVP needs dental work. Teddi says it didn’t please her to hear Camille say that, even though she and LVP are not on the best terms. Kyle says you wonder what the person is saying about you.

Camille talks to a friend whose name I don’t catch, but we’ve seen before. Camille thought the wedding was perfect, and couldn’t be more thrilled. In her interview, she says it’s a great feeling, having a life partner. She missed the love and family part of being married. The friend says Teddi was odd at the airport, and in Camille’s interview, she explains that when they were leaving, her daughter said hi to Teddi, who snubbed her. Mason felt bad, and that’s when her mommy claws come out. She tells the friend that she doesn’t like how Teddi is acting toward her. She’s gotten too big for her britches. She’s been taking jabs at Camille, wanting her to pick a side with the LVP thing. She’s been around LVP and Kyle a long time, and sees LVP’s point of view, but feels for Kyle. She knows the dynamic, and LVP has been there for both her and Kyle. Camille wants to bring it up, but doesn’t think Teddi can take criticism. Yet she’s an accountability coach. Go figure.

Denise asks Kyle if Camille is invited, and Kyle says, of course. In her interview, Kyle says she and Camille aren’t on the best terms, but to not invite her is making a statement.

Denise goes to a restaurant. We already know she’s meeting Brandi (bleh), although they try to surprise us. Brandi arrives, and says dumbass stuff. In her interview, Denise says a mutual friend introduced her and Brandi. They went to dinner, and hit it off. She thinks Brandi is crazy fun, and likes her. Brandi says they have a lot in common. In Brandi’s interview – where she looks like a horror show – she says she and Denise have been through the wringer together with public divorces. What you see is what you get. Period. No bullsh*t. Denise is just like her. Maybe in that way, but no. Denise is actually a kind person. Brandi is not. I’m sure some past thing is why she lashes out, but she refuses to recognize that, so pfft! Brandi says she saw Denise’s Instagram pictures wits Patrick, and asks how her husband is handling it. Denise says, he’s so supportive and fine with it. Brandi says, it’s fine until it’s not. Denise says, if it was her, she wouldn’t like it. We flash back to a reunion where Brandi talked about slitting Eddie’s tires. Brandi tells Denise about some dude named Casamigos, who says she hit him in the face. She might have slapped a pretty, older English woman in the face once, but not slapping dudes in face. Classless as ever; another thing Denise is not. Brandi says wasn’t even there. Denise tells Brandi about some story the women think LVP planted with Radar Online. She says she doesn’t know LVP well enough to know if she leaked it. Brandi says, of course she leaked it. In Brandi’s interview, she says she and LVP were best friends for five years. We flash back to that time. Giggy! Brandi tells Denise, whatever LVP wants out there, gets out there. We flash back to Brandi telling Kyle about LVP wanting her to bring the tabloids with her on vacation. She says if you cross LVP in any way, which she did – Denise asks if she crossed LVP or disagreed with her. Brandi says, a bit of both – you get punished. Denise wonders why do that to a friend who’s never done anything wrong. She thinks Brandi should come to Provence. Brandi orders two glasses of wine in one. She tells the waiter, if he brings two separate glasses, she’ll kill him. In her interview, Denise says Brandi can drink her under the table. Denise doesn’t do shots. She sips that sh*t. Me too. I’d make a much better friend for Denise. Public divorce aside.

Brandi (who is friends with Kim now?) tells Denise that Kim called her a bitch. We flash back to Denise telling Kim that LisaR is really a nice person. I’m beginning to think Denise needs help picking friends. Denise tells Brandi that she was just reassuring Kim that LisaR didn’t man anything by it. It was bad timing, and LisaR shouldn’t have said it, but they all make mistakes. She thinks LisaR and Kim should move on. It’s an effing bunny. Again, I’m no fan of Kim’s, but LisaR is the one who brought it up, and used the c-word in reference to Kim. Why isn’t Denise calling her out on it?

Denise meets Aaron at Compass, where he’s unpacking fitness equipment. He says they just got the power on. In her interview, Denise says it’s been crazy busy. She’s traveling a lot, but they try to make sure not too much time goes by before they see each other again. Denise says she got the pictures of Sami’s messy room and the bathroom. Aaron says she uses every towel. Denise feels terrible, leaving him while the fitness center is being put together. Leaving stresses her out, but she gives Aaron credit. As a new husband, he’s being supportive. He says when he approaches Sami in a cool and calm way, she says stop yelling at her. Denise says his voice carries, and a thirteen-year-old perceives it as yelling. In Denise’s interview, she says, Charlie is the easier going parent, while Aaron has strict boundaries, but they make the girls feel safe and secure. She tells him that she owes him a beach party in Vegas.

Walking down a commercial street, Kyle tells Erika it’s depressing to close the store. They go to the building where the store was, and it says for lease. Kyle realizes she didn’t take the chandeliers, and has to get them. She says she did find a space she likes, but she’s never done anything from the ground up. She needs help. She tells Erika that she has a lot to think about. In Kyle’s interview, she says it’s a challenging time for her. As they pass Villa Blanca, she thinks of fun times with LVP. We flash back to some of those. Kyle doesn’t focus on what happened recently. It makes her sad to think that chapter of her life is closed. She and Erika go shopping, and look for scarves. Erika says, what’s more French than a scarf and beret? All they’re missing is a baguette and some cheese.

Camille calls Kyle, and says she went over her schedule, and talked to her family. She can go. She’s excited to be included. Kyle and Erika pay for whatever they just bought, and it’s 800 bucks for the tiniest bag of stuff ever.

Everyone gets packing. Again from closets as big as a small country. Kyle considers taking a machete.

Breaking news. There are three separate wildfires in California. Malibu is evacuated. Kyle, Teddi, and LisaR are on their way to the airport. Camille calls, saying it’s stressful. She lives in a canyon, and can see flames in the next canyon over. She has to leave her house now. In Camille’s interview, she says they got stuck in traffic, and could see the flames and smoke moving faster than the cars. She was terrified. Kyle tells her to make sure she’s safe, and keep them posted. In Teddi’s interview, she says, it’s heartbreaking. They’d planned on talking with Camille, but tragedy has a way of putting things in perspective. Oh nice. Once again they want to pick an inappropriate venue to air their grievances. It’s doubly nice that the person who they have a grievance with, would have no means of escape. LisaR calls Denise, who finally has cell service. Denise says she’s never seen anything like it. It’s effing insane. LisaR tells her to keep in touch. They’re not on the plane until 3:30. Denise says she thinks her house might be burning.

Next time, the trip to Provence; LisaR says it’s like Downton Abbey, but in France; Dorit says it makes you feel like you’re in Europe; Camille’s house burns down; Teddi and LisaR clash.

🏇 If She’s Out, So Am I…

Even worse, it looks like Brandi is inching her way in. Sorry, Denise, but I can’t.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1046855/is-lisa-vanderpump-really-leaving-the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

💍 A Taste of the New 90…

I’m already loving this show. As usual, there are a couple of decent people, but they’re mostly horrible.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1046518/90-day-fiance-the-other-way-premieres-with-shocking-secrets-catfishing-and-big-investments

🏰 I Wanna Go Too…

Must be nice. I could make a joke here about it being Provence, not Nice, but I’ll let it go.

 

May 28, 2019 – Sam Says Game Over, Mitch Keeps the Peace, Farrahween, Bad Joke Overreaction, a Little Balance, Another Breakup & a Baby Lion

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Scotty finds Ava in the interrogation room. She asks what he’s doing there, and he says he heard she got arrested on the police scanner. She’s not walking into the arraignment alone. He’s there; let him help her. She says if he wants to help, bring her confirmation that she killed Ryan.

Jordan stirs, and Curtis says he doesn’t know how she does it; waking up looking beautiful every day. She calls him a liar, and he says, facts. She starts to sit up, and he tells her, be careful. He’ll get a nurse. She says, talk to her. What happened? He asks what she remembers. She says he came back from Canada. Did he find Ryan?

On the phone, Monica finds out Ryan is still in surgery. Drew approaches, and she asks how he’s doing. He says that’s kind of why he’s there. He has some things to take care of before he and Kim leave town. She says, they’re going away together?

Julian gives Kim some paperwork, and says they should have no problem going through customs. Kim thanks him, and he says he knows how much the trip means to her. He hopes it brings her peace. She does too. He hugs her, and says he wishes he could make it easier. She says he is. She knows Oscar would want her to do this. She goes into the bedroom to get her passport, and Julian calls Alexis. He thanks her for the expedited paperwork. Kim needs to bring Oscar’s ashes to Mount Kilimanjaro. He never thought things could move that fast. She’s glad she can help, and he says he owes her already for getting him out of jail. She says he should thank Doc for dropping the charges. He wishes all of his problems were that easily solved. Kim comes back, and he says he was thanking Alexis for greasing the wheels. She says, he got arrested?

Sam and Jason look into Shiloh’s room. Jason asks how she’s feeling, and Sam says, like a huge weight has been lifted. It’s one of the hardest cons she’s ever had to run. She hated pretending to believe what Shiloh said; it was disgusting. Jason says he’ll see if Monica can get a rush on the toxicology report.

Neil visits Alexis. He tells her that he’s anxious to see how the plan to neutralize Shiloh panned out. Alexis says, apparently, he drugged Sam, who was kept for observation, but she’ll be okay. He’s glad about that, but wonders how did the plan work?

Sam sits on Shiloh’s bed. He says, please tell him that Jason failed, and adds, no matter how hard Jason tries, he can’t keep them apart.

Ava asks if Ryan is dead or not, but Scotty doesn’t know. She says she lives in hope. What happened is justice; a knife in Ryan’s back. Her only regret is that she didn’t twist it. Scotty says she can think that, but don’t say it. If he does, she could face a murder rap. She says he makes it sound like she’s done something to be ashamed of. She avenged her daughter’s death. Scotty says she can call it revenge or justice, but she’s pleading not guilty.

Jordan tells Curtis that she needs to know. He tells her, relax. Ava used herself as bait, luring Ryan to a remote cabin, where he caught up with her. Chase took Ryan into custody, and Ava stabbed him in the back while he was handcuffed. He’s in surgery. Jordan wonders if he’ll make it, but Curtis doesn’t know. She says she can’t blame Ava. Badge or no badge, she’d want the same thing. Curtis says they need Ryan to live. She asks what he isn’t he telling her.

Drew tells Monica that he and Kim are leaving for Tanzania. They’re taking Oscar’s ashes to Mont Kilimanjaro, since Oscar never made the trip. He wanted her blessing, since the Quartermaines are usually buried in the crypt. She says, not this time. She thinks Kilimanjaro is perfect for Oscar, but if they don’t mind, she’d like to put Oscar’s plaque in with the rest of the family. Drew thinks Oscar would like that. He loved being part of the family. He had a special spirit. Monica says he got it naturally from his father. Drew doesn’t know about that, but appreciates her saying it. Jason approaches, saying he doesn’t want to interrupt. Drew says it’s not an interruption. They’re family, right?

Alexis tells Neil that they need proof Shiloh drugged Sam. Then they can force him to return Kristina’s Pledge. Neil thinks maybe that will cancel some of Kristina’s self-criticism and self-blame, but she still has a long way to go. Alexis appreciates his help, and he says he’s still her therapist; she’s still his priority. Alexis says she’s not sure she’s the one with the problem. Kristina appears, and says, that would be her.

Shiloh tells Sam that Jason can’t hurt them now. His heart is full that she still believes, and is listening to her inner voice. She says he’s so in love with himself. He’s the one in love with his inner voice.  He asks what she’s saying, and she says, game over, Shiloh, Hank, David, or whatever he’s calling himself. You lose.

Ava asks Scotty what difference it makes, as long as the bastard who killed her daughter is dead. He says a first year law student could handle her case. She has to plead temporary insanity. Ava says if the DA says it was premeditated, she’d be right. Ava had every intention of killing Ryan. It didn’t play out the way she’d planned, but hopefully, she got the job done. He says, how about this? She matters to him. She might have given up on herself, but he hasn’t.

Julian tells Kim it was no big deal; one night in lockup. He was defending his sister’s honor, and slugged Doc, but he dropped the charges. Kim heard him say there were other problems. What else isn’t he telling her? He says he’s a big boy; he can take care of himself. She knows he can, but she wants to know if he needs her. Is he in trouble? His phone rings. He says, it’s Scotty, and might be about Ava. Scotty asks where he is. Didn’t he hear the news Ava was arrested? She’s at the PCPD, and needs him now. Julian tells Kim that he has to go. Ava’s been arrested. She says she’s coming with him, but he says she has a plane to catch. When she comes back, he’ll be there and waiting for her. She says he’d better be, and they kiss.

Curtis tells Jordan, something else happened. She says she was relieved to hear he was okay. Her heart was beating hard, and she couldn’t catch her breath. He says she had a cardiac episode, and she asks if he means a heart attack. He says, everything is under control, and she tells him, just say it. He says the dialysis put a strain on her heart. If she continues it, her heart will be compromised.

Jason asks if Drew wants him to do anything while he’s gone. Drew says, maybe one thing. He can get a head start on the plans for the treehouse. Monica says Oscar expected them to build it together, and Jason says he’ll order the supplies, and they can start when Drew gets back. They shake hands, and Drew leaves. Monica says she didn’t want to worry Drew any further, but how’s Sam. Jason says, she’s clear to go home, but they need her to expedite the toxicology report. They need proof Shiloh drugged Sam.

Alexis says it doesn’t look like Kristina got much sleep, and Kristina says she had a rough night. She knows Sam just got involved with DOD because of her. Neil says Kristina’s concern is admirable, and shows that Shiloh no longer has a hold over her, but Kristina says, he does. There’s something about DOD she didn’t tell them.

Sam puts her finger in Shiloh’s face, and says she’s so sick of listening to his voice. I’m dying laughing, he’s so surprised. She ask if he knows how hard it was to listen to his self-serving garbage. He says all he was trying to do was help her, and Jason threw him down the stairs. That’s attempted murder. She says, is it? Does he have a witness? She answers her own question, saying, no, he doesn’t. Because he abducted her, and they were alone in the tower. She was too drugged up to resist. He says she willingly drank the tea, and committed to the ceremony. She willing signed the Pledge. She says, please. The Pledge was as bogus as his book. What did Molly call it? Cliché and derivative. Jason walks in, and Sam asks if he has it. He says he sure does. The toxicology report says Sam was drugged. He says she drank the tea willingly, but Jason tells him, the recording says different. Shiloh says he didn’t consent to being recorded, but Sam says she did, and in the state of New York, that’s all they need. Jason says, assault, attempted rape; who knows what else they’ll find when they start investigating? Shiloh is going to prison for a long time.

Julian meets Scotty at the station, and asks, what the hell happened? Scotty says Ryan tried to resurrect himself, and Ava tried to put an end to him once and for all, allegedly sticking a knife in his back while he was handcuffed. Julian says, good for her, but Scotty says she’s pleading guilty. He wants her to plead temporary insanity, but she won’t budge. He wants Julian to talk to her.

Ava tells Kiki that she’ll be able to rest. Her killer is going to pay. Julian comes in, and Ava says Scotty must have called him. Julian has to hand it to her. She had him fooled. Nice work. She fooled him into thinking she was in love with Doc. She asks if Ryan is dead. He doesn’t know for sure, but he’s guessing no. He tells her that she can’t plead guilty. She asks, why? She set out to avenge her daughter, and it’s what she did. She’s not hiding it; she’s proud of it.

Josslyn visits Kim, saying she got Kim’s message. It’s weird. They were together practically 24/7 before Oscar passed away, and now Josslyn hasn’t seen her since. Kim says she couldn’t face the Nurses Ball, and Josslyn says she almost didn’t go herself. Cameron brought her a message from Oscar, a video he’d pre-recorded. He said he wanted her to live her life, starting at the Nurses Ball by singing. Kim can only imagine how hard it was. Josslyn says she knows it sounds weird, but when she thought she couldn’t do it, Oscar was there. She saw him, and didn’t want to let him down, so she sang. Kim says, it’s not weird. She’s sure Oscar was there. He loved music, and he loved her, which is why she and Drew are sure he’d want her to have this. He hands her Oscar’s guitar.

Curtis tells Jordan that they’ll get through this. Jordan says the kidney transplant isn’t a quality of life issue anymore; it’s life or death. She knows why he wants Ryan alive. Doc is a match, and Ryan is his twin. Curtis says if Ryan lives, he’ll convince him to donate. She asks, if he dies? and Curtis says he’s going to save her. He doesn’t care what it costs, or what favors he has to call in. Wherever he has to go, he’ll go there. She says don’t make her arrest him. He says as ruthless as Ryan was, he’s that in love. He’s going to find a way to give her the second chance at life she deserves.

Alexis tells Kristina, there’s no point reliving nightmare, but she wants to say it while she has the courage. It’s not what Shiloh did, it’s what she did before joining the Trust. He wanted her to make an offering; a secret that was deep and important. Alexis asks if she means the Pledge. Kristina asks if Alexis knows what she gave Shiloh, and Alexis says, not unless she wants to tell.

Shiloh tells Jason and Sam that Sonny threatened him. Jason says, Sonny doesn’t make threats. Sam says Shiloh has no idea how hard she had to work to convince Sonny to let her deal with him herself. Kristina is her sister, but Sonny is an overprotective father. She wouldn’t be surprised if Sonny did deal with Shiloh himself. Not now; there’s too much scrutiny. Jason says when he’s sent to Pentonville, when everyone has forgotten about him, accidents happen. Shiloh asks what they want. Jason says, Kristina’s Pledge. Give it to them or they give him up to the cops.

Ava thinks she should get a medal for stabbing Ryan. The DA agreed to call off the search, giving a serial killer a free pass. Ava never believed he was dead, and she out-manipulated him. The only reason she didn’t pull the trigger, was because Curtis said Kiki would want her to help save Jordan, and he was right. Kiki was too generous for her own good, but Ava knows better. The only way to get justice in this world is to take it. Scotty says Curtis can testify to her state of mind. If she flushes her life down the drain, Ryan wins. Is that what she wants?

Josslyn tells Kim that’s she’ll have to see if she remembers what Oscar taught her. Drew arrives, and asks if Kim is ready. He tells Josslyn the guitar looks good on her. Kim tells him that she wanted Josslyn to have before they left. Josslyn asks where they’re going, and Kim says they’re taking a trip. Drew says they’re going to make Oscar’s trip to Mount Kilimanjaro. Kim adds, to say goodbye to their son.

Monica joins Curtis is Jordan’s room. He says he was just explaining about getting a new kidney. Monica says, that’s the plan. Does Jordan have any questions? Jordan asks if Ryan is out of surgery, and Monica says, stand down, commissioner. She just had a serious episode, and can’t afford any strain on her heart. She tells Jordan to take a leave of absence. Let someone else do the job. She helped save Port Charles from a monster. The least they can do is help give her back her life.

Kristina says when Shiloh told her that he wanted something important and personal, she thought about when she tried to blackmail Parker, but he didn’t want that. He wanted… Neil says, something more useful that he could cash in later. Kristina says she was too stupid to see it, and Alexis says she was betrayed by someone she trusted. Kristina says, now they’re all going to pay the price, and Alexis asks what she told him. Kristina says, something about her family.

Shiloh asks if this is over if he gives them the Pledge. Jason says, it’s already over. He’s never going to bother Kristina again. It’s up to him if he walks away or not. Shiloh says He’ll cooperate, and Jason asks where the Pledges are. Shiloh says in the place where Jason almost killed him.

Ava tells Julian she lured Ryan to her cabin with every intention of killing him, and stabbed him in the back in front of police witnesses, but she was never more sane or sure of anything. How can she get around that? Julian says they can deal with the questions, but he can’t deal with her giving up. She needs to keep her mouth shut, and do what Scotty says. She calls Scotty her knight in shining armor. Julian says if she wants revenge, she needs to plead not guilty. If Ryan ends up in Ferncliff while she goes to prison, she won’t be able to finish what she started.

Josslyn says, Oscar talked a lot about Kilimanjaro, especially after he got sick. Oscar would want them to take him there. He wouldn’t want to be in an urn in a vault, but under the stars. If he knew they were doing it together, it would make him even happier. Drew asks if she wants a ride, but she thinks she’ll stop by the park. She’s going to Oscar’s Meadow, and see if she remembers the chords he taught her. She thanks Kim, and hugs her. Drew hopes she thinks about Oscar when she plays, and she says she’s always thinking of him. She hugs Drew, and tells them to take lots of pictures. She leaves, and Kim says Josslyn has been through so much, and stays so strong. Drew says, she’s not the only one.

Monica checks Jordan’s vitals, and says her blood pressure is elevated, and she has a low grade fever. The sooner they find a kidney, the better. Curtis says they need Ryan to make it through surgery. Monica says she’ll check on him. Jordan thanks her, and Monica says again, they owe her. She leaves, and Jordan doesn’t know what’s worse; her heart nearly stopping or agreeing to a leave of absence. Curtis says she’ll be back to fighting for truth and justice in no time. Until then just get better. Let him pamper her; he’ll fluff her pillow, spoon feed her rocky road ice cream, whatever she needs. She says she has everything she needs right there, and he kisses her.

Alexis tells Kristina, don’t worry. Whatever she said, they’ll deal with it. Neil thinks it’s a family matter, and it’s best to keep it that way. Kristina thanks him for his help, and he says, there’s more where that came from. He’s just a phone call away. When he’s gone, Alexis says Kristina is very brave to come forward. Whatever secret she told, her father will take care of it. Kristina says, it’s not about him.

Sam and Jason go to the tower. Sam looks sick, and remembers Shiloh starting to get undressed, and saying they were destined to know each other on every level. It starts tonight. Jason tells her that she can wait downstairs, but she says she’ll be okay. She thought she could fight him off, but she couldn’t. She was thinking, poor Kristina; she would have been alone. Jason says Sam would have been looking out for her. They start looking for the Pledges.

Kim says she promised not to cry on Drew’s shoulder anymore, and he asks what else is he good for? She says he needs his strength to climb the mountain, and more when he gets to the top. He says that’s why they’re doing it together. Kim says they have a plane to catch, and he says, they do. Let’s go. They head out.

Ava tells Julian it never occurred to her that Ryan might live. He would just end up back in Ferncliff or some other institution. Julian says, and Kiki’s murder goes unavenged. Scotty returns, saying he spoke to the judge. Ava is going to be arraigned this afternoon. He hopes Julian convinced her to fight. Ava tells him, don’t just stand there looking good. Start earning your fee.

Curtis says he and Jordan never got their honeymoon in Fiji. They could start looking at hotels. Sun and sand will do them some good. Monica tells them that Ryan is out of surgery, and Curtis asks if he’s going to make it. She says, it’s too early tell. Jordan wonders why Ryan would consent to give her a kidney.

Alexis says Shiloh needed leverage to use against Kristina or someone she loves. Kristina says she’s so sorry. Alexis says, if the secret isn’t about Kristina’s father… it’s about her.

Jason opens a desk drawer, and says, found it.. Sam asks how they know those are real, and Jason says they’ll have to open one. He picks up Margaux’s envelope. Good choice! He opens it, and looks at Sam, saying, it looks real to him. Sam looks through the envelopes and finds Kristina’s. She says, that’s it. Shiloh is finally finished. Jason says, not yet, but they’re close.

Tomorrow, Sasha tells Nina that she loves it there, Alexis asks Kristina what’s in the Pledge, Maxie doesn’t believe it, and Jason tells Sonny he has leverage against the DA.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Madison keeps trying to call David, but gets voicemail. He asks his co-worker Tisha (I got a name!) if she’s sure it’s him, and she says, it’s the same address. He thinks David is probably out on Valium. He says he told Jeffrey not to go over there. He tries the radio, and Tisha makes a call. Madison thinks it’s David, but she’s gotten Veronica, who’s just pulling into her driveway. Madison says he thinks Jeffrey has been hurt, and to come to the hospital. She says, who is this? and he realizes he’s not talking to David. He says, it’s Madison, and Veronica asks, what happened? He says, just come. Veronica drives back out.

Madison asks why Tisha called Jeffrey’s mother. She says, it’s on his records, and she’s his mother. He says Tisha doesn’t know her. David calls back, and Madison says he needs to come to the hospital. It’s Jeffrey. David asks, what’s wrong? and Madison says he just needs to come. David is like, damn, and jets.

Veronica gets there first. Tisha tells her the ambulance isn’t there yet; she’s still waiting to hear. Veronica says Tisha called her. What the hell happened? Madison comes out, and says, a shooting. They got a call from the address that there were two gunshot wounds to the head. David arrives, and Madison says, there are two gunshot wounds to the head coming in. Davis asks if Jeffrey has been shot, but Madison doesn’t know. David asks why he called, and Madison says, it’s his address; Spanish Moss Trail. Veronica says, whose address that is. Is it that boy? David says, yes. She says she told him to get that boy in line. David asks if Madison has called the ambulance. Madison says he’s been trying, but he’s not getting a response. They must be working on him. David says he should have made Jeffrey leave, and Veronica asks if Jeffrey was with that homosexual girl. Tisha gets a call, and says, it’s not two; it’s one wound, but she doesn’t know which one of them it is. It doesn’t look good. She says she’s sorry. A gurney is quickly wheeled past, and Veronica yells for Jeffrey. David says he’ll kill that son of a bitch.

Meanwhile, at the Iron Bone (I just like saying that), Mitch sees a cousin/uncle/thug/whatever, and says, look who’s up early drinking beer. Dude says, it’s the breakfast of champions. Funny. I thought that was a Hall’s cough drop, coffee, and a cigarette. Mitch asks where Uncle Vinnie is. He’s going to meet with Cryer. Dude says, the guy who stabbed Uncle Vinnie? but Mitch says, his father. Dude suggests he get Vinnie’s $50K, and while he’s at it, he heard Vinnie talking about that Black kid. He wants his money. Mitch says Benny is working on it, and dude wonders how the hell Benny has $8 million, and can’t pay back the family. Mitch asks if he’s stupid, and dude says, what’s stupid is Benny not paying what he owed. Uncle Vinnie was drunk last night, and talking crazy. Mitch says he’ll be back later with the money, and dude says he’d better be.

Madison tells David and Veronica, still no word on the surgery. Veronica asks, what kind of hospital is this? and David says, stay calm. She says she told him, but he doesn’t need to hear that. She asks what the address is, and he says, Spanish Moss Trail, apartment number seven; why? She wants to see what happened, and make sure the DA gets all the evidence. She’s going to put that bastard homosexual away for life. David says their son is in surgery, and may not make it. She says, Jeffrey will make it. He’s a fighter like his momma. She’s a survivor, not like him, letting Jeffrey go be with those people. They’re wicked. Doesn’t he get it? They’re evil. Destruction follows them everywhere. Does he know how many are on crystal meth? Disease and death follows them, and it’s what he allowed for their child. They’re sodomites, and he allowed it. He did that, and now look at this. This is war, and it’s all his fault. She tried to tell him. If Jeffrey doesn’t make it, she promises… A crying Madison approaches them, and says he’s sorry. Jeffrey didn’t make it. Just as I’m thinking, hmm… we didn’t actually see him, Madison says he was told the African American guy didn’t make it. Veronica asks, why do you people lie so much? You lie about everything. Lying is in your DNA. He even lies about something this serious. The smell on him disgusts her. She comes close to him, and sniffs. She says he smells like a lie. Why is he crying? Don’t cry over her boy; he’s not dead. She grabs Madison’s face, and says, liar. She walks out. David asks where he is. Madison calls the doctor, and David cries.

Wyatt pretends to be Jim, and calls through to Kathryn’s car.

In Kathryn’s car, impressing his friends, RK tells them he’s changed things. He’s different; he’s better. He’s got them. The phone rings, startling him. Wyatt tells him, get his ass over there. RK says his guy wasn’t around, and he had to wait until morning. Wyatt had better have the money. Wyatt says RK better be on his way. If he isn’t, Jim is going to report the car stolen, and RK will get caught with his stuff. RK says just make sure he has the damn money. He’s on his way. He says, you can call the car. It’s like a spaceship

Jim sees Kathryn sleeping, and slams the door. He says, hungover? and she says, yes, you ass. He says, good. Is he talking too LOUD? She says, like he’s never been hungover. He says the child who brought her home stole her car. She asks, what child? and he says she doesn’t remember? She says, who cares? and he says her car is gone. He stole it. She says she’ll get another one, but Jim says not before he puts the kid’s ass in jail. She says, the kid from the bar? He says she’s stupid when it comes to money, but she disagrees. That’s why she has a lot, and he’s done. He has none. The stupidest thing she ever did was marry him. He says that was the smartest thing. He keeps her in money. It’s his brand that kept her rich. She gave Hanna $8 million; is that smart? Kathryn says, she’ll give it back, and tells him, don’t go near Hanna’s son; she means it. He tells her, take a shower. She smells like a daycare. She suggests he take a hike off a cliff. In a really odd moment, he helps her up, and fixes the covers. Force of habit?

Wyatt tells Jim that someone is coming up the driveway. Jim says, he’s a Malone. Mitch rings the bell, and Jim comes out. Mitch introduces himself, saying, he came to negotiate a truce. Money for his son. Wyatt did a lot of damage, and the family is pissed. He’s there to keep the peace. Jim says he has no idea what Mitch is talking about, and Mitch asks if that’s a game Jim wants to play. Jim asks how he knows it was Wyatt, and Mitch says he found the receipt with Wyatt’s name on it. Jim asks what he wants, and Mitch says, $75K. Jim asks if that’s how much the drugs were worth that Wyatt bought, and Mitch says, it’s not about what Wyatt bought. It’s about him buying peace. Jim thinks it’s unreasonable, but Mitch says he doesn’t. Especially if his grandma found out his son put hers in the hospital. Jim has to agree, and Mitch says he’ll wait. He’s not going anywhere until he gets it. Jim says he’ll write a check, but Mitch says, the family doesn’t do checks. Cash only. Jim says he’ll bring it to the bar in the morning. Mitch says his uncle is pretty pissed. He suggests Jim give to him. Jim says, if he does this, his son will be left alone. Mitch says, yeah, but Jim has a question. It’s usually blood for blood. What’s different? Mitch says Jim has him in the middle. He doesn’t need this war. Jim says, all right.

Wyatt asks what Mitch said, and Jim asks how much he spent buying drugs from them. Wyatt asks how much Jim stole from him. Jim has half a mind to let them have Wyatt’s sorry ass. Wyatt says it would be better than being stuck there. Jim says the Malones aren’t playing games; they’ll kill Wyatt. It’s serious business. Wyatt says if Jim hadn’t taken his money, he wouldn’t be in this situation. Jim wonders how he raised such a fool, and Wyatt says Jim’s a fool for taking his money. Jim says he did it for Wyatt’s own good. Every time Wyatt does damage, and Jim digs out of the pile of sh*t, Wyatt makes another one for him to climb into. Wyatt tells Jim, go to hell. Jim says, he might, but Wyatt’s ass better be happy in his room. If the Malones get to it before they get their money, he won’t have an ass left. Jim asks, is this what happens when you get a participation award? Ha-ha! Everyone is cracking me up tonight.

Scott hunts down Roderick at the Artisian. He says he’s with the Attorney General’s office. Roderick asks what he can do for him, and Scott says he can start be not looking nervous. Does he have something to hide? Roderick says, no, and Scott shows him a picture of Candace, asking if he knows her. Roderick says, no, and Scott asks if he mentioned he was an FBI agent; top of his class. Roderick says, good for him. Scott says he rose to the top quickly, and knows Roderick is lying. He’ll ask again; does he know her? Roderick says, no, he doesn’t, and Scott says he wants to make it hard. Okay. He makes a call, asking about Roderick’s real name. Roderick asks what he’s doing, and Scott says, calling Homeland Security. Roderick gets super nervous, and says he remembers; he knows her. Scott hangs up. Roderick asks if he’s getting deported, but Scott says that depends on how much help he’s going to be. They’ve got cameras all around. They can start with surveillance. Where’s security? Roderick leads the way.

Candace asks what Charles is what up to today, and he says, what else? They’re packing up and moving. He’d love for her to see it. She’s excited that she gets to see his house. A house tells a lot about a person. He laughs, and looks out the window. She asks if it’s something interesting, and he says, yeah. America. She calls him Mr. President Elect, and he says she likes the sound of that. She says she likes the sound of him, especially right before that moment. He purrs. He says, no, he doesn’t, and she says, like a kitten. He says he roars like a lion, and she says, a baby lion. Hakuna Matata. There’s a knock at door. A guy who isn’t Landon says he needs to talk to Charles in private, and Candace goes to her adjoining room.

Not-Landon tells Charles, Lisa from the Times is doing a story on Candace, and it’s not a good one. Landon flew NYC to see if he can get the story killed, but he thinks it’s still going to go. Candace blackmailed and damaged several high profile. Her cover was blown when they saw her on TV. Charles says, Landon will take care of it, but not-Landon doesn’t think so. He knows Lisa, and there’s this guy. He shows Charles a picture of the AG, and says, he’s already spoken to the President. They think he’s the one making trouble, and they need to get Candace out of there. Charles asks how long they have, and not-Landon says, it depends on Landon, but he’s pretty sure there’s nothing Landon can do. Charles says, it’s his job, but not-Landon says if they don’t handle this now, it could get messy and nasty. Charles hears him, but doesn’t want Candace to go. Not-Landon knows he likes her, but she’s trouble for him, and them. They need to distance themselves from her. Charles wants her to come. If not-Landon hears from Landon, let him know.

Candace comes back, and asks if everything is okay. He says, just Presidential stuff. She asks what it’s like in the White House. Is there someone to teach you protocol? He says, yeah, and she says she has so many questions. He has to shower, and she offers to join him, but he says, no. He needs a moment.

Candace’s phone rings. It’s Benny. He asks if she’s all right. He saw the news. Is she with him? She says she thinks so, and Benny asks if they’re dating? She says, that’s what it looks like. He tells her, be careful, and she asks, why? He says because he’s her annoying kid brother, and he always has to look out for her. That’s why. She asks if Hanna saw, and what she said. Benny tells her, not much. She’s been acting funny lately. It has something to do with that dude she’s seeing. He says he’ll find out. He asks if Charles knows about everything, and she says he does. Hanna comes down, and there’s a three-way hello. Benny says he’ll call Candace back later.

Benny asks if Hanna is making breakfast, but she says they’ll pick something up on the way to the bank. They’re giving the money back. Benny says he needs to pay Mitch’s family. She says she knows that. She talked to Kathryn, who’s going to give her a loan off of the interest so Benny can pay them. And he’s going to help her pay Kathryn back. She tells him, don’t borrow from people like that no more, and he promises he won’t. The doorbell rings, and Benny says he’ll get it, but Hanna says, don’t. He asks if it’s that dude, and she says she doesn’t want talk to him. Benny says he’s been blowing up her phone all day. What did he do? Hanna says, let it go. Benny says he’ll break Derrick’s neck, but Hanna tells him to tend to his own wounds right now. Derrick just isn’t the man she thought he was. Benny says he told her there was something he didn’t like; he knew it. She says, let it go. Benny wants to know what Derrick did, but she tells him, get dressed. The bell rings again

Tisha tells Madison that she’s sorry. He asks if she’s sure the one who died was African American. She is, and he says, the one they took to the ER? She says, he’s not. They need a relative to ID the body, and Madison says he’ll talk to David. Tisha asks if he’s okay, and he says, no. She tells him again, she’s sorry. Madison tells David they need him to identify the body. David cries. Madison says he is so sorry, and David says take him to his son. Why didn’t we see either one of them though? I’m still thinking there could be a mix-up here.

Scott goes through security footage. He sees Candace follow a guy to his room. Scott says he’ll be taking all the footage, but Roderick says he can’t let him. He needs to call the owner. Scott tells him to do what he feels. He tells the security guy to leave, and asks Roderick what’s going on? A girl pays him, and he gives her money later. It’s happening night after night. Roderick thought he was looking for Candace, but Scott says he’s looking for everything. He wants to know what’s going on – now. Roderick asks if he needs a lawyer. Scott says Roderick needs to tell him what’s going on, or he’s going to be arrested. Spit it out. Roderick wants to call the owner, but Scott says he’ll take Roderick along with the evidence. He asks who the leader of the ring is, and Roderick says, not him. Scott asks if it’s the owner, but he says she’s not aware of it. Scott asks who she is, and Roderick says, Kathryn Cryer is the main owner. There’s a board, but she owns the largest share. Scott says it could make money for her, but Roderick says, it’s small money to her. Scott asks if Roderick is having an affair with her, and he says, no… okay. Scott says he saw the damn tape. Stop lying, and tell him everything. Does her husband know? Roderick says, no. Jim threatened him. Scott says he saw that moment at the bar. It didn’t look pleasant. Roderick says, it wasn’t. Scott asks, who’s in charge? and Roderick finally says, Candace. Scott says, now they’re talking. Does the President know she was a prostitute? Roderick doesn’t know, and Scott says, get her on the phone. Roderick says, she spooks easy; she’ll know right away. Scott says Roderick has been very helpful, but he needs a lot more. Roderick says, if he tells Scott everything, will he still get deported? Scott says that depends on how much he helps. Keep bringing it. Scott asks, who’s this guy? pointing to RK. Roderick says, he works with her. Scott points to Rocky, and says, this guy? Rocky says they’re all in this together. Scott asks, is there a code word? Roderick says if you order whiskey on the rocks with a beer chaser and mudded lime. Scott says, okay. Let’s have some fun.

Madison and David approach the body. David takes a breath. Madison holds his. The cover is lifted, and David says…

Veronica is on a porch, and when someone opens the door, she’s shocked.

Next time, Madison tells David they got a call from that address, Hanna tells Benny they’re giving the money back, and Jim tells Kathryn if they don’t give the Malones $75K cash by the end of the day, they’ll put a hit out on Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

It’s the last breakfast in Hawaii. Kyle isn’t feeling well, and can’t afford to be sick. When she gets home, she has to get ready for Farrah’s 30th birthday. Dorit says she’s a little tired and anxious to get home. We see clips of Kyle and Mauricio out the night before. Camille joins the women and Mauricio. In her interview, she says it’s kind of trippy, waking up and being a Mrs. again. Mauricio asks if they’re going anywhere for a honeymoon, and Camille says, Switzerland. Kyle, who can’t seem to keep a lid on it, says she found out something weird. One of the family home of one of Alexia’s friend’s was burglarized. The construction workers were taking a lie detector test, and LVP was there taking one. Camille says, it’s ridiculous. Over a dog? Honestly, I don’t get their reaction to this, since they’re the ones who made the big deal out of calling LVP a liar. Camille says she hasn’t seen anything from LVP. LisaR tries to get her to admit it’s a huge devastation, but Camille says, it’s a little owey. LisaR says LVP doesn’t have to behave that way. Camille thinks it’s hurtful and sad. She wishes LVP could be there for her and dismiss all of this. Kyle says they have to get moving, and Camille thanks them all for coming.

Denise gets home from filming. She finds a gift from LisaR and Harry. The note says, Cheers to you and Aaron. Many happy endings! Eloise lost a tooth, and Denise tells her about the tooth fairy. In her interview, Denise says she’s grateful that Aaron is okay with her being on location with her ex-boyfriend. If their roles were reversed, she doesn’t know if she’d be as understanding. She might say she was, but she’d be a little jealous. Aaron is puzzled about the happy endings remark, and she says she may have done something he won’t be too happy about. We flash back to her telling the story about finding him a happy ending when she went camping. She says she didn’t get into the details, and told them he was mortified. Aaron says, it was awkward. Denise says it might not have been the weirdest thing ever if she hadn’t been a hundred years old. Aaron says, two hundred. She says some of the women were a little judgmental, but they can judge all they want. He says, it’s out there now.

Kyle packs her million pairs of shoes back up. She says it was so much fun. Everyone had a great time. and got along. That in itself is a wedding gift for Camille. In the airport limo, LisaR brings up an article in People magazine about LVP and Camille. Dorit says she was way surprised. LisaR reads that Camille said LVP helped her take a leap of faith, and she respects LVP’s decision not to attend the wedding. In LisaR’s interview, she says Camille tells them one thing, and something different in the article. She doesn’t trust both sides of Camille’s mouth. Because I guess Camille can’t possibly feel more than one way, or maybe felt differently later on. LisaR says Camille needs to own her sh*t, and had better step up. Ha-ha! Or what? Since she can never stop being a big-mouthed jerk, LisaR tells Dorit that Camille says not nice things behind her back. We flash back to Camille saying Dorit makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Dorit says Camille claimed it was great getting to know her. We see a clip from the camping trip where Camille says now that she knows Dorit better, they can move forward. I’d also like to point out that when Camille said that to LisaR, it was way before the camping trip. Dorit says, don’t pretend to be nice.  Kyle tells her that Camille says what she thinks someone wants to hear. Teddi doesn’t care about the article, but at least tell them. I can’t believe none of these women understand how tabloids work.

Dorit tells PK he’s not allowed to have chips. Crunch on carrots. Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to work for him.

Erika asks Tom if he wants to come to a party. She got a text from Kyle, but he suddenly has something else to do. Can’t say I blame him.

Kyle picks up LisaR, who disgusts me at this point. LisaR is going for a mammogram. Both her mom and half-sister had double mastectomies, and she’s a little nervous. Kyle asks what LisaR is wearing to the party, but LisaR wants it to be a surprise. Kyle says there are going to be five hundred people. She still has to get a Ferris wheel. She says the party cost about fifteen Birkin bags. LisaR asks what she remembers about being pregnant the first time. She was screaming and crying, and locked the door when she found out there were so many tests, and the nurse wasn’t having it. Well, that does sound a little insane.

LisaR says, it was quite a weekend. When People magazine came out, she lost her sh*t. She wasn’t happy that she told Dorit that Camille was talking about her, but she felt like she had enough. So let me get this straight. LisaR had enough, so she decided to hurt both Camille and Dorit by telling Dorit that Camille had been talking about her. Okay. Does she ever look in a mirror?

Since Kyle was already scheduled for next week, she jumps on LisaR’s mammo-tails and gets in her appointment now. LisaR says now she can focus on Kyle’s anxiety rather than her own. In Kyle’s interview, she says it gives her anxiety, but her mom died because she didn’t get one. If she’d gone, maybe she’d still be with them. Kyle is haunted by it. In LisaR’s interview, she thinks the anxiety leading up to the test is more frightening than the procedure. The radiologist shows LisaR her results on a laptop, and she’s good. More pictures are wanted from Kyle, and she freaks. In her interview, she says when she was turning thirty, her mom found a lump. Now here she is. They think the see something the day of daughter’s thirtieth birthday.

We all nervously wait. Kyle looks like she going to pass out, and starts crying. She tells LisaR that she has to wait. The radiologist apologizes, and tells Kyle it looks great. LisaR hugs her, and Kyle says she just got scared when they wanted to look again. LisaR says she’s all good, and the radiologist says it was just dense tissue.

Dorit tells PK she doesn’t think anyone will be coming to the party as Karl Lagerfeld, and he says he doesn’t think anyone can compete. In Dorit’s interview, she says she loves Halloween. PK is going as Karl, and she’s his kitty cat, Choupette. PK’s head is sweating in the wig already, and I feel his pain. I have given up on Halloween wigs at parties forever.

LisaR says she has to nail it. In her interview, she says when she dresses up, she’s one hundred million percent. She wants to get as close as she can to the look, and act the part. I’m sure she does. Can I start a Make LisaR Go Away page on Facebook?

Farrah’s party is being set up. Kyle says since Farrah was born on Halloween, they’ve always called it Farrahween. She’s flown Alexia home for the occasion. Kyle asks if Alexia’s dad has seen her outfit, and we see a clip of Mauricio wondering where the rest of it is. Kyle says their mom can dress like a tramp if she wants to. She’s going as a Playboy bunny, and has paid over $600 for what’s basically a black one-piece swimsuit and ears. The tail was an extra $45. If that’s what it means to be rich, I think I could do it better.

No surprise, the decorations are fabulous. Subtler, yet more lavish than Dorinda in the Berkshires. Teddi calls Kyle, who’s stuck in her expensive costume, since the zipper won’t work. She’s waiting for an Uber bringing her another one. Teddi says she’s about a block away, and Kyle asks her to entertain everyone until she figures out what she’s doing. Teddi is dressed as Harley Quinn (me two Halloweens ago), and arrives with Edwin Joker. A vampire jumps out at them. Teddi hates it. Denise follows, in a mini Marie Antoinette dress and wig, with Aaron wearing something Edwardian.

Kyle says she’s literally stuck, and has to pee. Mauricio says he can take it off. He hands her a new costume, and brings her new costume. He rips the back open on the one she’s stuck in, and she gets pissed, saying what if the new one doesn’t work?

Outside, Dorit freaks at the vampire jumping out. Erika says their costumes are clever. I’m surprised that she’s so boring as a leopard or something. LisaR comes as Erika, and Erika loves it. She says she saw herself. It wasn’t her, but it was her at Coachella. She says LisaR nailed it. In her interview, LisaR says, Erika is every girls dream; sexual, over-the-top, and can get away with anything. They start to wonder where Kyle is, and Teddi says, she had a wardrobe malfunction.

Kyle gets her new costume adjusted. Her daughters are like, omg, your butt is hanging out.

Kim arrives dressed as a modernized version of a gangster from the 40s. In LisaR’s interview, she says she was kind of shocked to see Kim. She wishes she’s had a heads up. My Lord, this woman needs to be apprised of everything. It is actually a family party. How shocked can she be? What a lame brain. Maybe they took out brain cells to plump her lips.

Denise can’t breathe in her costume, but Dorit says she looks hot, so that’s all that counts. Camille, as Catwoman, comes with a friend, and the morally corrupt Faye Resnick right behind her. In her interview, Dorit says she’s a fashionista cat, Erika is an exotic cat, and Camille is a stray cat. She wonders where Camille bought a mask to cover both her faces. Okay. Hate her too now. Kyle tells her not to say anything to Camille. In Dorit’s interview, she says she has terrible anxiety, not knowing what Camille said about her, but she just got married and it’s Farrah’s birthday. Oh gee. Think you might be able to control yourself for a whole evening? Denise says she’s always clueless, and we flash back to Denise saying she’s lost during one of the many Puppygate convos.

The birthday girl comes out, and we see Mauricio as Hugh Hefner. In Kyle’s interview, she says, earlier, she was facing the worst thing, and it’s a reminder to celebrate family and friends when you get the chance. She takes the mic, and says Farrah is an inspiration, and she can’t believe she has a child who’s thirty. In her interview, she says it’s every parent’s dream to see their child grow to be a responsible adult; self-sufficient, smart, and successful. She’s proud of Farrah, and proud of the job she and Mauricio did. They kind of know what they’re doing. She tells everyone to take a ride on Farrah’s wheel. The DJ begins to play music, and everyone dances. In her interview, Kyle says she got a silver Rolex for her thirtieth birthday. In Erika’s interview, she says she went to Vegas. Dorit says she had a surprise luncheon in Connecticut, and didn’t have Ferris wheel.

Kyle talks to the women about her mammogram. She suggests a spin on the wheel, and Dorit wants to know why they have to be first. Kyle’s seatbelt is stuck, much like her first costume. In Teddi’s interview, she says she promised not to bring anything up to Camille, but they ended up side by side. Kyle says, FML when she gets stuck at the top.

There’s a photographer, and the women get a group shot taken. LisaR, in character as Erika, tells Kim that giving the bunny back to LisaR was something [bleep]. In her interview, Kim says she and LisaR don’t have a good history. We flash back to several episodes where LisaR acted incredibly nosy and rude to Kim, ending with her returning the bunny to LisaR at the reunion. Because it lacked good energy. She says she didn’t mean to be crude, rude, or disrespectful, but she feels attacked. She’s not hearing anything from LisaR but see you next Tuesday. LisaR likes being Erika.

Kim asks Dorit if that wasn’t wrong on LisaR’s part. It was upsetting. Kyle says, it was uncalled for. Kim says, it was inappropriate and rude. Kyle thinks LisaR is holding a grudge. In Kim’s interview, she says LisaR is always looking for attention. Denise joins them, and Kim whines that LisaR was rude to her. In Denise’s interview, she says LisaR is one of her best friends (I’m sorry), and was hurt by the bunny situation. She tells Kim that she really hurt LisaR’s feelings. Kim doesn’t believe it. In her interview, Kim says Denise should stand back. This is between her and LisaR. Let it go. Kyle says Kim isn’t wrong, and to give her that. It wasn’t okay. Denise is sorry that Kim is feeling hurt. Kim says she’s not, and Denise asks what’s the problem then. Kyle doesn’t think Denise gets it. Denise says, who cares about some bunny? They need to let it go. Well, here’s the thing, Denise. LisaR is the one who brought it up. Hello? Is this thing on?

LisaR says she’s Erika tonight, and admits to saying something about the bunny. Dorit observes that there are still strong feelings about it. In her interview, Kim says there are two years of unresolved energy. We flash back to Kim calling out LisaR on saying Kim was near death when she was nothing of the kind. Erika wishes it was different between them. In her interview, LisaR says, giving back the bunny was rude. Kim asks Erika/LisaR if they’re good, and says she wants to get a message to LisaR. Denise suggests LisaR be herself in the moment. Kim asks to have a private chat, and they sit.

Kim tells LisaR that she’s not looking for a fight, and LisaR looks beautiful. LisaR realizes she’s been over-the-top in character. Kim asks if she wants to say she’s sorry, but LisaR says Kim still hasn’t apologized for the bunny moment. Kim says, what about her? They used to have a nice relationship, and she’d be happy to go back to that, but LisaR has to be nice. LisaR agrees what she did wasn’t appropriate, but neither was what Kim did. Kim asks if LisaR can’t see her side. In Kim’s interview, she says there’s a lot of damage to repair. She doesn’t regret giving back the bunny. She was hurt by a lot of things LisaR did. LisaR says Kim caught her off-guard. She was scared to see Kim, and reacted that way. In her interview, LisaR says Kim giving the bunny back was the most hurt she’s been by this group. We flash back to Kim giving LisaR back the bunny, and tears streaming down LisaR’s face. She says it was like a gut punch. Sorry. I have no sympathy for her. Kim can be a nut, but LisaR dogged her the whole season. And if that’s the most hurt LisaR has been, she doesn’t know what hurt is. She says she’s sorry for what happened between them. Can they move on? Kim suggests forgiving each other. LisaR is glad their having this conversation under a dead angel. They hug, and Kim says, miracles happen. You never know.

Next time, Brandi (bleh) meets with Denise (I love Denise, but not so much her choice of friends), Camille says Teddi has gotten too big for her britches, Kyle plans a girls trip to France, and Camille’s house burns down.

🐍 LisaR autocorrects to lizard. Just sayin’…

💩 Stupidest. Sh*t. Ever.

One more reason to look at LisaR with disgust.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/lisa-vanderpump-slammed-transphobic-by-rhob-cast/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

I rarely tweet, but I had to reply to this nonsense. You can say she was thoughtless. You can say the joke was tasteless or inappropriate. You can say a lot of things, but LVP is not transphobic. You, however, are a real piece of work, who should not be so proud of her big mouth.

But LVP remains a lady, acknowledging a poor choice of words.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1043707/lisa-vanderpump-apologizes-for-poor-choice-of-words-after-transphobic-comment-about-erika-jayne

And Vanderpump still rules.

https://pagesix.com/2019/05/24/lisa-vanderpump-is-in-front-of-the-cameras-again/

🎡 Some Housewives Fun…

Just to balance it a little.

https://pagesix.com/video/denise-richards-hooker-reveal-and-more-hot-housewives-news/

💸 The Breakup…

Did Fifty/Fitty/Fofty come between Lala and her man?

https://betches.com/did-lala-kent-randall-emmett-break-up-because-of-foftygate/

Just because I didn’t even know Perez Hilton was still alive.

https://perezhilton.com/vanderpump-rules-lala-kent-randall-emmett-breakup-rumors/

👑 Because Why Not?

And because Candace gave me an earworm.

 

 

 

May 21, 2019 – Ryan Goes To the Ball, Justin Takes a Shot Or Two, Camille Gets Married, LVP Agreement, Behind the Ball & Still Feelin’ It

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Robert tells Finn, don’t just stand there. Pick it up; it’s your ring. Finn comes onstage. He picks up the ring. Everyone gets excited and or shocked. He gets on one knee, says this is not how he wanted to do this, and asks Anna to marry him. We hold our collective breath.

Cameron asks Josslyn if she remembers after Oscar’s motorcycle ride, how he asked Cameron to stay on the terrace, and there was something he wanted to talk about. Oscar had him record a message, and he wanted her to hear it tonight.

Kristina asks if she’s interrupting, and then says she doesn’t care. She wants to speak to Sam in private. She tells Sam, the closer she gets to Shiloh, the worse she’ll get hurt.

Doc wants to check in with Laura. Ava hopes Laura and Curtis have news. Doc leaves a message, saying he knows the cell reception is patchy up there, but he’d like to hear her voice. Call when she gets this. Ava asks if Doc is sure about the reception. What if they found Ryan?

Laura and Curtis lie unconscious, while things burn around them.

Anna says she doesn’t know, and Finn says, okay. His bad. He starts to leave, but she grabs him. She says she didn’t mean that. She means yes. She’d love to marry him. He asks her to say it louder for the tables in the back. She takes the mic, looks out, and says, yes, Hamilton Finn. She’ll marry him. He puts the ring on her finger, and everyone cheers. They kiss, and Robert gets teary. Anna tells Finn that she likes the ring.

Cameron tells Josslyn that Oscar made him delete the original, so she has the only copy. Like the CD Drew gave Kim that they listened to. He says he’s got to go; Lucy will have a stroke if he’s late. Josslyn asks him if he’s not staying to watch it with her. He says he recorded it, so he knows what Oscar said, but it’s Oscar’s last chance to talk to her, and he thinks Oscar wanted her to hear it alone. He leaves.

Jax tells Alexis that he got a text from Josslyn. Kristina left the house alone. Alexis thinks they should call her, but Neil says she’ll think they don’t trust her. Alexis says that’s what scares her.

Sam tells Kristina not to be ridiculous. Shiloh isn’t going to hurt her. Kristina wants to tell her the truth about DOD. It’s a cult, and Shiloh is more than a liar.

Ava tells Doc that they should stick to the plan to draw Ryan out of hiding. He agreed, and can’t back out now. He says in the absence of a better alternative, he’ll stick to the plan.

Curtis comes to. He shakes Laura, and tells her to stay with him. We hear sirens, and he says help is on the way.

Robert toasts to Anna and Finn. May they have the best of everything. Brad tells Lucas, it wouldn’t be the Nurses Ball without an impromptu proposal. Lucas says like when Brad proposed to him? They were hopeful then, but now Brad turns to everyone except him. Brad asks if they’re really having this conversation now? Lucas says, yep. They need to have it somewhere. He knows something is going on, and wants Brad to tell him what it is.

Chase congratulates Anna, and welcomes her to the family. He tells Finn that he never doubted him. Not to his face anyway. He says he’s kidding; he loves Finn. They hug.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she’s happy for Finn. Anna too, but he was torn up about it. Franco seems distracted, and says Lucy texted him about a backdrop that’s broken, and makes her promise she won’t leave. She says, okay, and he kisses her. She looks after him, puzzled.

Peter congratulates Anna, and says he’s happy for them both. They hug, and Anna says, it means a lot. Peter thinks they should give Anna and Finn a chance to celebrate on their own. Finn tells Anna that her speech was beautiful. She says she meant it. He knows how important the night is to her, but she says she’s good with leaving early. He seconds that. They kiss, and jet.

Josslyn puts the disk in her laptop. Oscar says, if you’re seeing this, it means I’m gone. He wish they’d had more time together, but he’s grateful for the time they got. It’s her turn now. She still has everything ahead of her, and he wants her to live her life to the fullest. Starting tonight. When she sings their song at the Nurses Ball, he wants her to know she’s singing for both of them.

Cameron comes back. Elizabeth asks where he went, and he says he had to take care of something for a friend.

Lucy hopes everyone is having as much fun as she is. She’s kind of excited about the next performance. She thinks they’ll have fun with this performer, who’s been known to steal the show. But the only thing she’s guilty of tonight, as far as Lucy knows, is giving her all for a worthy cause. She tells them to put their hands together for Obrecht. Obrecht comes out in a black dress with a blue sequin fur-trimmed cape with disco ball lights spinning, and begins to sing Guilty. Franco joins her halfway through in a duet.  Everyone loves it.

Felicia gushes over the proposal to Lucy. She’s sad for Robert, but Anna and Finn are perfect for each other. Lucy says she can’t say the same for Doc and Ava. There’s something fishy going on, and asks what Felicia knows about this.

EMTs examine Curtis and Laura. Curtis asks where the police are; he needs to talk to a cop. Laura says Ryan is probably at the border by now. They need to alert the authorities in Port Charles. He might be there already. I’d love to know how they get to Canada just as fast as they get to NYC.

Elizabeth wonders why Franco didn’t tell her. He says he wanted it to be a surprise. She says consider her surprised, and kisses him.

Cameron looks around outside.

Josslyn comes down in an amazing dress with tiers of silver and rose gold. For someone who didn’t want to go, she looks fabulous. She looks toward the laptop, says, I’m doing this for you, and leaves.

Shiloh asks if Kristina wasn’t more herself at DOD? Didn’t she trust herself more, and was more content? Sam is part of the family now; why doesn’t she come with them? He says, come home to DOD, and holds out his hand. Like magic, Sonny appears, and tells Shiloh, stay away from his daughter. He tells Kristina to go stand with her mother. Shiloh says Kristina can’t let her father control her forever. His door is always open. Sonny says his door is about to close permanently. He messed with the wrong family, and it’s going to cost him everything. Alexis takes Kristina away, and Sonny smiles at Shiloh. It’s one of those moments where I love Sonny so much, I can’t stand it.

Alexis asks what possessed Kristina to come there. Kristina says she and Josslyn were looking at pictures from the Nurses Ball, and she saw Sam with Shiloh. Sam has fallen under Shiloh’s spell like she did, and no one is doing anything about it.

Shiloh and Sam sit with Brad and Lucas. Lucas is surprised that Sam and Shiloh are together, and Shiloh says Sam has been taking classes. Lucas should stop by. He thinks there are some things Lucas would be interested in. He tells Brad the upper level courses are starting soon.

Willow’s phone rings. She says she’s been waiting for this call, and excuses herself. She slams right into Nina, spilling Nina’s drink. Nina tells her, watch where you’re going, and Willow says, one good thing about losing her job is, she doesn’t have to take Nina’s crap anymore. Shiloh watches her leave.

Cameron practices backstage. Elizabeth asks if he’s nervous. He says, no. It’s just that he was thinking about all the people not there tonight.

Josslyn walks in. She goes over to Carly and Jax. Jax asks what changed her mind. She says she got a message from Oscar. They look at her funny, and she says, an actual message. He recorded it before, and Cameron brought it. Oscar said he wanted her to perform their song at the Nurses Ball. She doesn’t know if she’s there yet, but one step at a time. Jax says it’s all any of them can do.

Lucy is excited and thrilled to introduce the next performer, and asks the audience to welcome Cameron. Accompanying himself on the guitar, he sings a song he wrote himself, I’ll Be Your Star. Or at least that’s the title I’m getting from the lyrics.

Sonny says he thought Alexis was taking Kristine home, but Alexis says she won’t go. Kristina wants to help Sam, but Neil says she’s still in recovery. If she tries to help Sam, they’ll both be vulnerable to Shiloh. Kristina says she’ll leave on one condition. Sonny has to say there and keep an eye on Shiloh. Sonny says she doesn’t even have to ask. Kristina leaves with Alexis, and Sonny glares at Shiloh.

On the phone in the hallway, Willow says, everything is not okay. He knew nothing about the adoption. He didn’t even know she was pregnant. She’ll tell them more when she sees them tomorrow. She hangs up, and Nina is there behind her. Nina says, she had a child?

Josslyn comes backstage, and she and Cameron hug. She says he was amazing. She asks if he wrote it himself, and he says he did. (This is after I knock myself out trying to find the song title online using the lyrics.) He says he had a lot on his mind, and writing music helps. She thanks him for bringing Oscar’s message, and being someone Oscar could trust. He’s a great friend.

Laura tells the EMT that she’s mayor of Port Charles. She asks him to arrange a helicopter to get them back immediately. Call whoever he needs to check her credentials, but do it fast. Curtis says he needs access to a phone. He and Laura hug.

Lucy pokes Doc, and says, apparently, there’s a delivery person there from a florist with two dozen long stemmed roses. He has to personally sign for said roses. Doc says Ava is performing, and he wanted to surprise her with a tribute. Lucy says the only tribute Ava deserves is poison ivy, while I wonder who uses the word tribute like that?

Chase’s phone rings. It’s Curtis, who tells Chase to listen to him. Ryan Chamberlain is alive, and on his way back to Port Charles.

Back at home, Finn tells Anna, it’s only sparkling cider, but she says she’s just happy to be celebrating with her husband-to-be. He likes the sound of that. He toasts to their life together, and they clink glasses. She ask why it had to be this ring in particular; why was it so important? He says he looked at a lot of rings, but didn’t feel as strongly about them. The jeweler said it was a rare Monacan blue sapphire, and he knew. She says, Monaco, and he says where she first blackmailed him into working with her. She says he loved it, and he says, not at first. She insists he did. He says that trip changed his life, so he bought the ring, and waited for the exact perfect moment – which wasn’t in front of a ballroom full of people, but that’s the way it happened. She was kind enough to say yes, and here they are. They kiss, and get busy.

Sonny comes back in, and hugs Josslyn. He’s glad she made it, and she says she had a lot of help. Carly tells Sonny that Jax is sitting with them. Sonny tells him, welcome, and says it’s always nice to see Cameron. Cameron says, it’s nice to be seen. Sonny says, it’s good to have a full table. Jax wonders if Alexis is okay, and Sonny says a problem came up.

Lucas tells Brad that he doesn’t recall Brad saying that he was taking more classes. Brad leaves to get refills, and Shiloh says there’s something he needs to take care of. Lucas asks if Sam is in DOD, and she asks if he has concerns about it. He says it seems a little intense to him.

Nina says Willow is a mother? and Willow accuses her of eavesdropping. She asks what is it with Nina? She’s been making Willow’s life miserable since they met. No wonder Charlotte is the way she is. Nina says no wonder Willow can’t handle her classroom. She can’t take care of own child. Yes, she went there. She tells Willow, have a nice life. Willow turns to follow her, and Shiloh is standing there.

Lucy says she’s so proud of all of them. Donations are rolling in. She thanks them, and says Cameron was adorable and amazing, but now they’re getting a change of pace.

Curtis tells Laura that Chase is contacting the authorities and the PCPD. Laura say she has to contact Doc, but gets voicemail. She leaves a message, Ryan is alive and on his way back. Please be careful.

Lucy says the next performer told them last year that they don’t own her. Who would want to? Not Lucy. We see Doc unconscious backstage, and Ryan taking a rose from Ava’s bouquet.

Ava takes the stage, and sings You’re Just Too Good to Be True. It’s an odd, but cool variation, like American Music Club’s cover of The Carpenters’ Goodbye to Love. Background dancers put her on the piano, along with a martini that she sips when the song is done, amidst fog from a machine.  I’m guessing Ryan is going to pop out of the fog like Alice Cooper.

Tomorrow, Josslyn tells Lucy that she can’t sing, Shiloh tells Willow not to lie to him, and Scotty sees Ryan.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, Justin was holding a gun to Jeffrey’s head, and his own.

At David’s place, Madison says David is bleeding; what happened? David says, just patch him up. Madison says he forgot David and his son are cut from the same superhero cloth. David says, that punk pulled a gun on him. Madison asks if he’s okay, and David says he nailed Justin’s ass to the floor. Madison asks where Jeffrey is, and David says, he’s still there. Madison tells David, that’s not good. If he pulled a gun on David, imagine what he’ll do to Jeffrey. David says he’ll take care of Justin. Madison says, do it soon. He’s seen this kind of thing escalate. He didn’t want Jeffrey to go there, and David says that makes two of them. Madison says, that boy is unstable, and David says, that punk needs be dealt with, and he’ll do it quickly. Madison has to get back to work, and tells David, if it keeps bleeding, he’ll probably have to come in.

Justin tells Jeffrey, this is the way has to be. Jeffrey says he told Justin not to do this again. Justin says, one has a bullet; the other doesn’t. it’s either him or Jeffrey. Let fate decide. If Jeffrey doesn’t want him, one of them has to go. Justin counts to three, and shoots. It looks like Jeffrey was shot, but they both fell, so I’m not sure.

Candace dances around the hotel room, and sips champagne, while Charles lies in bed an smiles. He says, it’s nice to see her smiling. She seems so happy, and it’s okay to let him know. He says she’s still afraid of letting go; being okay, and putting herself in his hands. She says he’s a man. Does he know how hard it is for her to trust anyone, especially a man? He says she’ll have to let it go. She says, especially a powerful man. He says she’s met his kids. He’s a good guy. She says she saw how mad he can get, and it’s scary. He tells her, just admit she’s happy. She says she’s… having a good time. He bets it feels good not looking over her shoulder. She says she’s been doing it since she was seventeen. He can’t expect her to undo it overnight. Be patient. He says she can start by saying she’s happy. She says she did lose her son. He says he doesn’t know what that’s like, and God forbid he ever does. He’s just saying it’s nice to see her smiling and looking up. She thanks him. He wants her to make love to him. It’s what he’s feeling right now. They kiss.

Kathryn sits at the Artisian bar. Kathryn sees Roderick flirting with another woman, and says, this is the game you want to play. She asks Rocky for another. Neat. Rocky tells RK that he left a sink full of dirty dishes when he took off. RK says, his bad, and Rocky says he’s full of it. RK apologizes, and says he needs some cash. He’ll pay Rocky back. Rocky says he doesn’t have any, but RK insists he does. Rocky asks what RK has gotten himself into. RK says Veronica wants him to seduce her son. He just needs to get her jewelry out of the pawn shop. Rocky says he told RK to leave that woman alone. RK asks if he’s going to help or not, and Rocky says, no. Go wash dishes.

Kathryn calls Hanna, who asks if she knows what time it is. Is everything okay? Kathryn says it is, and that she loves Hanna. Hanna asks if she’s all right, and where is she? Kathryn says she’s at the bar at her hotel. Hanna asks if she’s drinking, and Kathryn says, uh-huh. She had to get out, and away from Jim. She’s so disgusted over the Derrick thing. Hanna says, her too. Kathryn says Hanna has no idea how bad she feels, and Hanna asks how Kathryn thinks she feels. Kathryn is still worried, but Hanna says she’s okay. Kathryn has been calling him, but he hasn’t returned her calls. Hanna doesn’t care, but Kathryn does. She wants to tell him how she feels. Hanna doesn’t want to talk about him. She wants to forget about him and that night. She tells Kathryn she’s going to the bank first thing in the morning and getting the money back to give to Jim. Kathryn says, he’s not going to bother Benny anymore. Hanna says, but it’s Kathryn’s money, and she has another favor to ask. She feels like she’s always asking for help, and Kathryn has done so much for her already. Kathryn says, anything, and Hanna says she’ll take the job at the hotel, but wants Kathryn to keep the first checks until Hanna can pay her back. Kathryn asks, what’s going on? and Hanna says, Benny is in trouble again. She wants to keep the interest until she can pay Kathryn back. Kathryn says, do that. Hanna says she sounds drunk, and asks if she should ask again when Kathryn is sober. Kathryn says, the answer will be the same. Hanna asks if Kathryn wants a ride home, but Kathryn says if she needs a ride, she’ll call Frederick to pick her up. They’ll talk in the morning.

Kathryn asks Rocky for another, and asks, who is that girl? Rocky says, she works accounting. Kathryn says Roderick is trying to make her jealous, but Rocky doesn’t think it’s like that. She says he can come to the room, but he says, sorry. She says, fine; what about that kid? indicating RK. Rocky says, he is a kid. She tells him give her some more, but he says he’s closing the bar. She says she owns the place. He suggests he get her a ride, and she asks if he’s kicking her out of her own bar. He thinks she should head home, and she says she needs to wait for her driver. Rocky asks RK to give her a ride home, explaining she owns the bar. Kathryn says, let’s do this. Roderick says hello as she passes, but she looks straight ahead, one hand holding her drink, and the other on RK’s arm. Rocky tells Roderick that Kathryn is pissed at him. Roderick knows, and Rocky hopes he knows what he’s doing, because she’s making his life a hell. Roderick asks what she said, and Rocky says, nothing, but she’s watching him like a hawk. Roderick says, then it’s working. Rocky says, be careful. Roderick asks where RK is going, and Rocky says he’s giving Kathryn a ride home. Roderick says, this will be interesting. Good. She’ll have to work for it. Rocky tells him again, be careful, but Roderick says he’s got this. I feel badly for Rocky. He’s gotten the short end of the stick since Candace beat the crap out of him.

The Attorney General is on the phone with Scott, who just checked in at the Artisian. Ground zero. The AG (whose name I think could possibly be Warren, but I’m still not sure) tells him they’re going to shake these folks up. He asks if a reporter is still at the hotel, and tells Scott to tell her that he has a story about the President Elect’s girlfriend that will knock her socks off. Scott thinks they should get more information first, but the AG says there will be a treasure trove. He’s there; get on it. Call her now. Scott says, it’s late, but the AG says the reporter will be happy. That bitch messed with the wrong one.

Candance talks in her sleep, obviously distressed. Charles puts the light on, and she sits up, startled. He says, it’s okay. She says, her son. She has to get out of there; she needs fresh air. He tells her, relax. Breathe. Tell him what it is. She says, being there doesn’t feel right with him gone. Charles holds her, and says, it’s okay. He can’t imagine how hard it is, but she’s allowed to have good in her life. She says she’s going to be okay, and he promises she will be.

RK pulls in Kathryn’s driveway. She’s sleeping, and he rouses her. He says it’s a nice car, and helps her out. She says she had too much. He says, maybe. He brings her to the door. He says, nice house, and she thanks him. She says, him and Veronica, huh? He acts ignorant, and she says she heard him talking. He’s sleeping with her, huh? He says, no, and she says, stop lying. What she doesn’t understand is, why does Veronica want him to flirt with Jeffrey? It doesn’t make sense. Her son is gay, and she hates it. She would do anything to make him not be gay. Why would she want him to flirt with Jeffrey? Is he gay? He says, no, and she says, something strange is going on. Veronica is always up to something. RK suggests they get her inside.

RK goes inside with Kathryn, and says, damn. This is fly sh*t. She says there are no flies in there, but he says he’s talking about the house. She asks if that’s a good thing, and he says it is. He’s wondering how he’s getting home, and she says he can call a cab. He says, or take the car, and she says, sure. She’ll get it tomorrow. She wants him to help her upstairs, and says then she’ll call him a cab. He says she just told him that he can take the car, but she says, that depends on what happens upstairs. He says, the cougar thing, but she says she’s more of a lion. Wyatt pops out, and asks, what now? She tells him, go to bed, and he asks if she’s drunk. She says not enough for his bullsh*t. Jim comes out asking if a man can’t watch TV in his own house. He asks who RK is, and Wyatt says, her lover. Kathryn says, he works at the hotel. Wyatt says, she was there with her Latin lover. Now, she’s with… Where is RK from? RK says, Nicaragua. Jim tells Wyatt, go to bed. Kathryn tells RK, goodnight, and thanks him. He asks Jim how he’s getting home. Jim says he’ll give RK money for a cab, and hands him a hundred dollar bill, saying, it’s real. Get the hell out, but first, he’d like the keys back. RK says Kathryn was going to let him drive, and Jim laughs, saying, a $250K car. RK says he drove here in it, but Jim says he’s not driving back in it. He offered RK money, and he took it. He has the keys in his pocket, and Jim would like the keys and money back. He wants them back or he’s going to put his foot up RK’s Nicaraguan ass. RK accuses him of being racist, and leaves. As he goes upstairs, Jim says Nicaraguan isn’t racist. What the hell? The world’s gone crazy.

RK stands outside, and says, no money, no ride, no cab, nothing. It’s crazytown. Wyatt comes climbs down from his window, nearly giving RK a heart attack. RK says, what the hell? Sneaking up on him. He’s a black belt in karate. What is he doing, sneaking out a window. Wyatt asks if RK wants to make some money. Can he score? RK says, he’s Wyatt. Wyatt asks how he knows, and RK says Wyatt’s mom told him about Wyatt in the car. She told him Wyatt’s got it bad. Wyatt says he’s got crazy money, and RK says, she left that out. What does he want? Wyatt asks what RK can get. RK wants the money first, but Wyatt says, come back with some coke, throw a rock at his window, and he’ll give RK the money. RK asks if he looks like an errand boy. What’s in it for him? Wyatt says he’ll pay him double, and RK says, deal. They shake. RK asks how Wyatt expects him to get there and back. He came in Wyatt’s mom’s car. Wyatt says he he can take her car, but RK needs the keys. Jim took them. Wyatt says, hang tight. He’ll get the spare. He goes inside, and RK says, yes, Lord. You’ve been listening to my prayers. He tells the car, me and you are going on a ride.

Kathryn asks Jim why he’s on the bed. Jim says he’s warning her about the kid, and she asks if he’s afraid he’s getting replaced. He tells her to listen to him, but she laughs, and says, no. This what women feel like when a man with money leaves them for a little twerp. Jim says RK is making a fool of her, and she says like all those girls did with him. He’s just upset that if she leaves, he’ll be broke and out in the cold. He says she’s not leaving him; she wouldn’t dare. She tells him, don’t be so sure. He says he’s not kidding. Leave the boy at the hotel alone. She says like he left his whores? She’s just getting started. She’s nowhere near his numbers. She’s going to let Hanna keep all the money; he won’t have a dime. Jim says, Hanna’s not keeping it, but Kathryn says she’s going to let her. He tells her that he means what he says, and she says, whatever. Get out of her house.

Outside, RK says, Prince of Bel Air type sh*t. Wyatt comes back out, and gives RK the keys, telling him, be back in an hour. RK says just worry about having his money. Wyatt tells him to keep the lights off until he gets to the end of the driveway. Wyatt goes back in, and RK jets to the car. Jim sees Wyatt, and asks what he’s doing down there. Wyatt says, getting away from them. Jim tells him, if he goes outside that door, someone will kill him. Wyatt asks if it looks like he’s leaving, and asks what Jim is doing. Jim says, going out, and Wyatt suggests he go to bed. Jim laughs, opens the door, and says, where is Kathryn’s car? Wyatt says he doesn’t know, and Jim says, that little SOB. He tells Wyatt to go to bed. Wyatt says, you go to bed, but Jim says, you first. Wyatt heads upstairs, and Jim tells him, wait up.

Veronica walks into David’s house. She says he hasn’t returned her calls. He says he needed a moment to think. She says because of what she said about his whore? He asks why she’s doing this, and she says he knows. He says she wants to punish him because he hurt her. She says, yes. Is he hurt? He says, very. Does it make her feel better? She says, it’s a start. He hit her, and slept with those women. He tells her she already said that, and she asks if he has attitude about that now. He says he has to pay a penance. He supposes it’s justice. She asks if he’s playing her, and he says, no. She’s been thinking about how they can beat the grand jury. He says, how? and she says he’s eager to hear what she has to say now. She wants him to make love to her the way he used to. He says he’d love to do that, but… She says, what? He says his back is burned really bad. She sorry he’s in a lot of pain right now, but she has to go. It still smells like dime store perfume. She tells him that Erica was with a lot of men. It’s probably good they’re not having sex, because he probably needs to get himself checked out. She wants to see that bloodwork. He says, good idea. He’d like to see hers as well, since she was with Benny and that other boy. She says, now the ice queen is the condom queen. He asks why she let him sleep with Erica if she knew Erica was a whore? She says she tried to tell him. Whatever he caught, he deserves it. He asks if she’s telling him that he has a disease, and she says she’s telling him that she doesn’t know, but it’s possible. She says the longer she stays, the more angry she gets. He says he knows; he bought this house for her, but another woman was living in it. She says he’s finally getting it. Keep being that honest, and she might take him back. She kisses him, and tells him to take back what he said about killing her. He says he takes it back; he was so angry. She says, okay, and tells him, have a good night. He says, you too, sweetheart, but when she’s gone, he adds, enjoy your last few days on this earth.

Jim pulls up in front of Hanna’s house, and calls Benny. He tells Benny, come outside. Benny asks what he wants. He ain’t goin’ nowhere. Jim says he doesn’t think Benny want him coming in there with his mother home. Benny tells him, come on in. Make it easy. He’ll tell the police Jim broke in before he killed his monkey ass. Jim threatens to break the door down, and Benny says, on second thought, he’s coming down. Benny comes outside, and asks wtf Jim wants. Jim says he wants his money, and Benny says he’s out of luck there. Jim says, no; Benny is. Benny says, nice car. Get his ass in it, and get out of here. Jim doesn’t scare him. Jim says the stab wound didn’t scare Benny? and Benny asks if he wants to go again. Jim says he’s being as patient as he can be with him and his mom. Benny suggests Jim not talk about his mother, and Jim says, then get his sorry ass to the bank. Benny says he ain’t doin’ sh*t. Jim says if Benny doesn’t give the money back, he’s done. Benny laughs, and Jim asks if Benny thinks it’s funny. Benny guesses they’re done together. Come at him again… Jim says he thought this was fair. It’s the last thing he’s saying to Benny. Benny says, shut up then. Jim tells him, have a good night. It’s likely to be his last. He drives away, and Benny goes inside.

At the hospital, Madison is getting ready to leave, and tells the other reception nurse to have a good weekend. She asks if he doesn’t have some days off, but he says he still has to be at the Harrington’s. She says he should be glad he’s leaving. There are two gunshot wounds in the head coming in. He says, good luck to them, and starts to leave, but stops. He asks where she heard that, and she says the police scanner. They’re on their way. He asks where they’re coming from. She tells him the address, and he looks at Justin’s address on his phone. He says, oh my God, and calls Jeffrey. He gets voicemail, and leaves a message for Jeffrey to call back as soon as he gets it. He asks if she can get the names, and she says he can get them from the EMTs. They’ll be there in a minute.

Next time, Scott asks Roderick about Candace, Jim tells Wyatt the Malones will kill him, and David cries, which doesn’t seem too good for Jeffrey.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LVP goes to see polygrapher John, bringing along John Blizzard. (I almost called him John Snowball, somehow mashing him up with Game of Thrones) Puffy! We flash back to everyone not believing LVP didn’t leak the Dorit story. In her interview, LVP knows 100% that she’s not guilty. She wouldn’t do this otherwise. She’s not as stupid as she looks. She explains Puppygate to the polygrapher, who couldn’t care less, but says if she’s lying, he’ll know it. He asks the usual bland questions, like, do you live in Texas? Then he asks if Dorit’s face has changed as much as her accent. John Snowstorm Blizzard says he had to throw that in. The polygrapher asks about giving the story to Radar Online, and several other related questions. When he’s finished, LVP asks if they can do it again; she was nervous. Polygrapher John says the scoring program agrees with him that there’s zero chance she’s lying on the questions of importance. In her interview, she isn’t sure what she’s going to do with this. She might keep it in her back pocket, and shove it up their asses if she sees them, just to prove they’re barking up the wrong tree. It would be awesome if we found out Teddi was really the one who leaked it.

In her interview, Kyle says they’re all going to Hawaii for Camille’s wedding. It’s a long way to go, but she’s their friend. They can also afford it. I know I’d have to decline that invite unless Camille was buying. Kyle thinks it’s funny, going back to the dinner party from hell. We flash back to that. Now look – she’s a bridesmaid. Alexia asks if that’s Kyle’s airplane outfit, and Kyle tells her, don’t judge. The bridesmaids dress arrived at the eleventh hour, but needed alterations. Kyle says it’s not her fault she has big boobs that are natural.

Everyone packs. Teddi tells Edwin to pack, and she doesn’t mean at the last minute tomorrow, which will make her a crazy person. I’m totally guilty of being a last minute packer.

The women meet on the plane. In LisaR’s interview, she thinks a destination wedding is nice. There’s no one who doesn’t want to go to Hawaii. People are happy there. Again, as long as she’s paying. BTW, needless to say, they’re in first class.

As they get into the airport limo, Mauricio asks if Teddi is a bridesmaid. She says she was practically not invited. In her interview, she says she doesn’t think a wedding weekend is the time to dig up past issues (like this isn’t going to happen), so she’s being a good person and showing up. During the ride, Kyle says Camille’s sex talk when they went camping was next level. LisaR says they should make hand gestures when she comes down the aisle. In her interview, LisaR says it’s not hard on Harry when she’s gone. She’s not in a co-dependent relationship with her husband. They’re okay with being away from each other. This translates into Harry didn’t want to be in this episode.

The hotel is gorgeous, and the view is amazing. Teddi says, it feels peaceful. LisaR is coughing, and orders hot water, lemon, and honey from room service. She’s hoping to nip it in the bud. In Kyle’s interview, she says she has no idea what’s happening on the trip. She’s killing it as a bridesmaid.

Camille greets them at the pool and thanks them for coming. David is off with his friends, but she wanted them to get a feel of the island. In her interview, Camille says Hawaii is near and dear to her heart. She brought the kids there when they were young, and she has a lot of memories from that. She also went there to heal from her divorce. We flash back to how devastated she was. She says she’s getting married to David, and there are great things ahead. She tells the group that they have a busy day, but she wants to tell them what happened. LVP wanted to talk to her, and explained why she’s not coming, and a little about her falling out with Kyle. She didn’t want to make the day about her. Kyle says LVP never responded to her texts or emails. In her interview, Kyle thinks using her as an excuse is a cheap shot. Camille says, Kyle is in a tough position. Dorit asks how Camille feels about it. Camille says she wanted LVP to be there. A year from now, they’ll be saying how ridiculous this all is. LisaR says LVP has no issue with Camille, and Camille agrees. LisaR says weddings are a way of bringing people together. No matter what, you show up. In LisaR’s interview, she says LVP made it clear that she wants nothing to do with them. She doesn’t get it. She respects LVP, but she’s done with it. The end.

Everyone gets in the water. Kyle sits on the paddleboard, and uses it like a canoe. She finally stands, but hits a rock, so she’s back down again. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to work this hard. She says she’s going back to the beach. She’s done.

Meanwhile in Malibu, Denise calls Aaron. In her interview, she says she’s getting ready to shoot a movie, but she’d rather be in Hawaii than Connecticut in winter. Patrick Muldoon comes by. He asks what she thinks of the script, and she says, it’s cute. In Denise’s interview, she says she’s known him since she was nineteen. They dated off and on, and now they’re getting ready to do a Christmas movie together. She doesn’t think of it as working with ex-boyfriend, but working with a friend. They go over the script. Patrick tells her that she’s always had a thing for bad boys. In her interview, Denise says that one Thanksgiving, Charlie had a hooker sitting in a car in her driveway. She said she’d set an effing plate. Even a hooker deserves Thanksgiving dinner. She asks if Patrick is considered a bad boy, and they laugh.

The women get ready for a big dinner at Camille’s house. Kyle points out that Dorit brought seven pairs of sunglasses. Dorit says, a girl needs options. I don’t find that many pairs unreasonable, and think it’s funny coming from Kyle. Everyone gets in the limo, and they head to Camille’s place mansion, which is unbelievably huge. In Camille’s interview, she says there was a little awkwardness with Teddi. She’s not happy with their relationship, but she’s glad Teddi made the effort to come. Camille tells LisaR that when she disappears, this is where she goes. It’s her house. It’s her own, and she’s proud of it. David and Camille’s daughter Mason join them. Kyle asks where Camille’s mom is, and Camille says, in the hospital. In her interview, Kyle says Camille’s mom has been sick for the last ten years. We see a clip of Camille talking to her mom about a new doctor. In Camille’s interview, she says her mom has been spending time on the east coast, but didn’t want her to postpone the wedding. She’s been praying that her mom feels better, and can be there. Kyle feels like she will be there. In Kyle’s interview, she feels badly about Camille’s mom not being there. With everything Camille’s been through; her own cancer, now her mother might not be able to come. Other than the groom, she’s the most important person for Camille to have there. They sit down for dinner. BTW, there are a lot of people there, and quite a few tables.

LisaR tells Camille that Erika sends her love, and wishes she could be there. A fantastic dinner is served. In her interview, Kyle says the pasta in a cheese wheel has followed her. The dress finally zips, and she’s eating pasta. She swears she’s being sabotaged. In Teddi’s interview, she says she normally is not a carb person in the evening, but she’s giving herself an out. Teddi asks what’s LisaR’s favorite and least favorite thing about Harry. LisaR says Harry is a good person, but he chews blue gum. In Kyle’s interview, she says, twenty years, and that’s all LisaR can say? Someone is not forthcoming. Edwin says he loves that Teddi is organized, but hates that she’s always on his ass. It’s kind of the same thing. Kyle says he’ll be dead by sunrise. She says she loves that Mauricio is always upbeat (he is!), but her least favorite thing is his immaturity level sometimes. Mauricio says his least favorite thing is that Kyle is stubborn, but his favorite thing is her sense of humor. She makes him laugh, and she’s an incredible mother. She’s amazing. He kisses her, and Teddi says Edwin is dead.

In Camille’s interview, she says her ex had a reputation of being a bad boy, but with David, it’s different. Totally different. LisaR asks if it’s okay if she leaves early, and Camille says she needs to go to bed early too. In her interview, Camille says she’s excited to have her friends there to celebrate her taking the next step. In the limo back, Teddi tells Edwin, what’s organized is her legs to be closed for the rest of the trip. Edwin says he would never want a Playboy chick, and LisaR says she is that chick/

Dorit visits LisaR, who can barely talk. Thank God for small favors. She says she feels okay; she just can’t talk. Dorit suggests some good tea and cough drops, but LisaR thinks spending time resting her voice is a good idea.

Teddi and Edwin sit in a pseudo tide pool. Edwin says normally, the kids would be there. Teddi asks if he thinks the kids feel the difference with her working so much. We see clips of her working while being with the kids, and the kids whining. She loves the idea of more time, but doesn’t know if she wants to sell 50% of her business. Her gut is saying she’s happy. In her interview, she says the business is huge, and she’s been approached to sell a portion of the company. We see a clip of a meeting with a business consultant. She says, it’s great financially, and great for more time, but it will no longer be her baby. It will be a group decision. She wants the kids to know she’s always there. Edwin says the most important thing is that she’s happy. If she’s happy, she’ll make the kids happy.  She doesn’t need to worry. He kisses her, and she says she’s a worrier. He says if she doesn’t do it she might blame it on the kids one day.

In Middletown, Connecticut, Denise works on her film. In her interview, she says it makes her feel good that Aaron isn’t jealous. He respects her relationship with Patrick. Charlie didn’t. While they were married, she wasn’t allowed to talk to him. They talk to Barbara Eden, who’s also in the movie. She tells them, a genie’s not a woman, she’s an entity, which they somehow find deep. In her interview, Denise thinks, it would be fun to wear a cool outfit and live in a bottle.

In Hawaii, Kyle says she and Mauricio always go to Mexico. He says, as they get older, they have to think about where they want to spend the majority of their time. Kyle says she’s more of a mountain person than a beach person. They also have to think about when their kids have kids. Mauricio wonders where his name is going to go, since they only have daughters. He asks if they should just have another kid. She asks where was he when she asked before? In her interview, she say she hates to burst his bubble, but does he know how old she is? He says there’s another thing need talk about; finishing their wills. It’s not fair to the kids. In Kyle’s interview, she says when the girls were little, it was more about who would take them, and now that they’re older, it’s easier, but it’s still scary as hell. Mauricio talks about some test where they scored high in terms of health, and she swears by green juice.

Camille has pre-wedding preparations to do, and Kyle doesn’t know the responsibilities of a bridesmaid. They sit for dinner, and Dorit asks for tea for LisaR. Kyle says she’s never heard LisaR so quiet, and Dorit says she’ll speak for her. Mauricio has a problem focusing, and winks at Kyle. In her interview, Kyle says, something seems a little off. She thinks he’s been enjoying the island life, and partaking in some of their offerings. Mauricio says he’s happy for them. They’re nice, two people who have the opportunity for a second turn. Hopefully, the ultimate goal is to be with someone to the end, and he genuinely feels they’re good for each other. He laughs, and they all laugh. He makes a toast to Camille and David.

Kyle says she found out something. A close friend of Alexa’s had a house that was burglarized while it was under construction. The workers were taking a lie detector test, and guess who else was there taking a test? Everyone is like, I dunno, and Teddi asks, who? Kyle says, LVP, and everybody is all shocked. Kyle says, it’s not like she was accused of murder, and Dorit wonders why she acts like that. Teddi thinks it’s stupid. In Dorit’s interview, she says LVP did ask if she had to take a lie detector test, but she didn’t expect it. LisaR asks, who administers the questions? Do you say, ask me these questions?  Well, essentially, yeah. Or the police give them a list of questions. It’s not done by ESP. Teddi – the authority on all things – says, they’re not even accurate, proving she knows nothing, Jon Snow, because they’re pretty close. Kyle says, the innocent fail them, and the guilty pass them. In her interview, Teddi says Ted Bundy passed one. Yes, there’s a margin. That’s why they’re not admissible in court. Kyle thinks LVP is focusing on that, instead of the actual problem. Dorit asks why they think she does it, and LisaR says, she wants to be perceived as perfect and a saint. In her interview, Kyle says if LVP showed her the paper, and said she’d passed with flying colors, does she think it would change everyone’s opinion? I’m baffled as to why it wouldn’t. At least about the article thing. Dorit says, the wedding is tomorrow, and Mauricio asks who’s getting married. Edwin says, that wasn’t as profound.

In her interview, Kyle asks us not to judge her bridesmaid skills. She hasn’t been one for twenty-plus years. She’ll hold Camille’s train, life her veil, and powder her nose; whatever she wants. Camille’s mother, Maureen, arrives. Camille is getting her makeup done, and says she’s thrilled. In her interview, she says her mom is Superwoman. She’s out of the hospital, and on a plane, and now she’s in Hawaii. Her mom is an inspiration to her, and she hopes she’d have her mom’s strength in the same situation. She’s not sure if she would. She tells Maureen that she loves her so much. Maureen is happy she’s there for Camille’s big day. The ladies have trickled in. They mingle, and talk to Maureen. Bridesmaids Kyle and Mason, get flower crowns pinned on.

Teddi powders her arms. Wtf? Camille and Kyle cram into a 1959 cherry sportscar. In her interview, Camille says it was easier to keep the name Grammer. Maybe she’s lazy, but it’s a lot of paperwork. I understand. I did the same thing, keeping my maiden name. They speed along to the ceremony. LisaR waits in the limo for the others while birds, instead of crickets, chirp. The rest of the group finally gets in. As they pull into the venue, Mauricio says they made it in the nick of time.

The ceremony is outside. Conch shells are blown. The bridesmaids come in, with Camille and David following, flanked by native dudes. Camille looks stunning. We’ve already seen her dress, with a crocheted overlay, but I didn’t notice the train was so massive. In her interview, LisaR says, it’s gorgeous, because it’s Hawaii, and there’s a rainbow, and the wind is blowing. It’s absolutely magical.

In Kyle’s interview, she says, it’s touching to see Camille finally have this day she’s waited for. She’s been through so much. The vows are said under an arbor of palm leaves. Kyle says, it’s been a long road for Camille. A new chapter. All of them couldn’t be happier.

Next time, Camille says LVP should have come, LisaR says LVP has to own her sh*t, Kyle has some scary medical tests, Halloween happens, and LisaR dresses up as Erika.

🎵 Side note: Camille was on Watch What Happens Live tonight, and said she did get why LVP wouldn’t want the attention to be on her at Camille’s wedding. The other guest, Tracy Pollen, said she agreed with LVP’s decision.

🏥 On the Ball…

A behind-the-scenes look at the Nurses Ball. And Lulu knitting in that dress.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-nurses-ball-backstage-170874

👓 It’s So Last Year…

But I feel it still.

 

May 14, 2019 – Finn’s Ring Goes Missing, Justin Doubles His Firepower, Dracarys All Over, Throne Thoughts, the Real Throne, Throne Feels, Beverly Beg Off & OLTL Frat

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Michael comes by Willow’s classroom. He says he didn’t know teachers kept such late hours. She says they don’t, but she’s hosting some parents and the principal. He asks if it’s a problem, and she says nothing or no one she can’t handle.

In Toronto, Maxie, Peter, Curtis, and Laura play Trivial Pursuit. Maxie tells Peter, not geography, and I identify. He says, entertainment. A TV show is described, and Curtis says, Fraternity Row. That was his story. And also a nod to the fake soap opera that was part of a One Life to Live storyline many years ago.

On the phone with Lulu, Doc says they’re ready and waiting. He tells Ava that Lulu’s colleague from Page Five is on the way. Ava says they can provide more tawdry fodder to get Ryan’s attention. She takes Doc’s arm, and he tenses. She tells him, it’s okay, but he says, nothing about it is okay. She says sorry to violate his personal space. He says he just wants Ryan captured, so he can get back to his life and his wife, and Ava must have a life she wants to get back to.

Peter tells Maxie, sorry their first date went down the drain. She says he doesn’t control the weather, and until the snow lets up, their fabulous first date will have to wait. Standing by the window, Curtis tells Laura that Clue or Risk would guarantee world domination. She wonders when the weather will turn. It’s sweet of Maxie and Peter to let them intrude, but… Curtis says they’ve worn out their welcome. Laura says they need to get back on the road, and track down Ryan.

At the MetroCourt, Valentin suggests whisking Nina away, but she says it would be irresponsible to miss a meeting. The less time she spends with that woman, the better. Sasha appears, and asks, what woman? Nina says it’s not important, and asks what Sasha is up to. Sasha says she’s meeting Michael. Nina says Sasha has a hot date, but not if they’re around. She grabs Valentin and they jet.

On the phone, Finn tells Robert that he wants his ring. Robert bets he does. Finn says he can’t propose without it, and Robert says he’ll hand it off to Finn later, Finn tells him, tonight’s the night. Anna approaches Finn, and says, sounds ominous. Robert tells Finn that he’ll drop by with his precious bauble later. Robert opens the ring box, and ring is gone.

Michael comes into the classroom with a gift bag, saying he thought he’d leave it on Willow’s desk, so she could get in the morning. She asks what it’s for, and he says to thank her for helping his sister. He saw Kristina this morning. Willow asks how she is, and he says, she’s not her old self yet, but she’ll get there eventually – thanks to her. Willow thinks Neil had a lot to do with it. Michael says, for sure, but Willow spoke about her own experience with Shiloh, and it was instrumental in getting his sister back. He says thank you doesn’t do justice to what Willow did. They hug as Nina and Valentin walk in. Michael says goodnight, and breezes out.

Robert says, damn, and Finn asks, what does that mean? Robert says, the MetroCourt is out of Fosters. He ends the call as Felicia and Mac join him. Mac asks what’s wrong, and Robert says someone stole the ring out of his pocket. Felicia wonders why he has a ring, and he says it’s not his; it’s Finn’s. Felicia is shocked that he lost it, and he tells them to help him find it.

Anna asks Finn what the call was about, and he says he was just clearing a few things with Robert. Anna asks when he was going to tell her how serious Jordan’s condition is.

Maxie says, go fish. Curtis tells Laura that he’s anxious to get this over with so he can get back to his wife. She suggests when the storm clears, he go directly back to Port Charles. He asks what she’s going to do, and she says she wants to check out the last place. The piled up mail doesn’t sit right with her. He asks if she’s shaking him, but she says she just wants to get him back where he belongs, by his wife’s side. He’s sure his wife would rather have him out of her hair than crying in it. He promised to see this through with her. They’re in this together.

Doc wonders how long they have to wait, and Ava asks what’s his hurry. He’s not running home to Laura. He says, and he won’t be. Not as long as this dog and pony show is going on. She asks if her presence is that intolerable, but he says there’s nothing about her presence that’s objectionable. She asks if her reputation doesn’t give him pause, but he says he prefers forming his opinion by direct observation. She says, observe then. What does he see? He says, a human being in pain. She says Ryan saw enough to fall in love. He turned out to be a monster though, and monster love doesn’t count, except to other monsters. He says she’s not a monster, and she asks if that’s his direct observation. He says he loves his wife, and she says, of course (🍷) he does. She tells him not to worry about any more unrehearsed kisses. Doc says, maybe a rehearsed one. Someone’s coming. He grabs Ava and kisses her. Julian runs to them, and tells Doc to get his damn hands off his sister.

Julian tells Doc, back off, but Ava says, stop it. He’s not Ryan. Julian knows who he is. He’s no better than his brother. He unleashed that psycho, and got Kiki killed, and put Ava in Ryan’s sights. Doc says he’s ashamed of what he did, but Julian says, if that was true, he’d have slunk out of town long ago. Doc says he’s not going anywhere until Ryan is dead and buried. He wants to be sure. Julian asks if that’s what he told Ava. He’s taking advantage of her vulnerability. Laura moved on, but Ava is here, ripe for the picking.

Peter tells Curtis that they could play Operation or go old school. Curtis says, definitely old school. Curtis is sorry to impose, but Peter says he can’t control the weather. Peter says a private detective and the mayor. What’s the story? It’s quite the buddy comedy. Curtis thinks it’s not as entertaining as what he and Maxie have going on. Peter flashes back to Maxie saying, it’s been perfect, and kissing her. Laura tells Maxie that she’s been a lovely hostess. They’ve been sweet, but it’s clear they’d rather be alone. Maxie says, it’s really new. Kind of a first date. Laura says Maxie deserves to move on, and if she likes Peter, Laura is happy for her. Maxie thanks her, but she’s not sure she knows what she’s doing. Larua says she’ll figure it out. When the snow stops, they can get on to other activities. Maxie says she’s beginning to think that she and Peter could be the last two people on the planet and still find a way to avoid those activities.

Finn tells Anna that he can’t discuss patients. Anna gets that, but says he could have given her a heads up that Jordan could use a friend. Left to her own devices, Jordan would never say anything. She’s a proud woman. Finn says if Jordan takes a turn for the worse, he’ll let her know. Chase walks in, and says he’s there to see the commissioner. Anna says, Jordan is resting, and Chase says, another time. He asks if Anna got a manicure. She says she’s just wearing clear polish, and he says, sorry. He thought he saw a sparkle. Finn says it could be a symptom of cataracts, and can check that for him. He wants to do that right now, and tells Anna that she’s going to be late to meet Felicia. Anna says she’s not late, but Finn says she doesn’t want to be; Felicia has a mean streak. He pushes her toward the elevator. Once she’s gone, he tells Chase, that was smooth. Chase says, Anna’s ring finger is bare. What’s Finn waiting for?

Felicia says Robert has to tell Finn, and Robert asks if she’s mad. She says, Finn will understand it’s an accident, right? Mac says, of course (🍷). It’s not like he lost it on purpose. Felicia says, why would he sabotage another man’s proposal to his ex-wife?

Nina wants to call Sasha about seeing Michael with Willow, but Valentin says that Sasha told them it’s not that serious. Nina can’t find her phone, and says her whole life is on it. He thinks it could be at the MetroCourt. She wants him to go find it, and he asks her to promise there won’t be bloodshed. Keep it misdemeanor. He leaves, and Principal Schultz comes in, asking them all to take a seat. He thanks them for coming out for what he hopes is a civil discussion. He’s hoping to yield understanding, so they can circumvent the district dealing with the matter. Franco doesn’t know how it can be sorted out in one discussion. Someone here has a problem with the gays.

Finn is beginning to think Chase is more invested in the proposal than he is. Chase says it doesn’t sound good, and Finn says, great detective skills. He’s surprised Chase hasn’t made head detective yet. Finn apologizes, saying he’s on edge. Chase was afraid he’d gone over it. Finn just wants to get the proposal over with, but Chase says, it’s supposed to be a romantic moment. Anna is liable to run other way with him in this state. Finn says he can’t get down on one knee without the ring. Robert has it, and he’s not giving it back. Chase says Finn should have said so sooner. Let’s go get the ring back.

Felicia can’t believe they’re having this conversation. Robert needs to return the ring. Robert says he doesn’t have a ring to return. Mac says he can get a ring. He knows a guy who creates lookalikes. Felicia tells him, no, but he and Robert are already moving, and almost run into Anna. Anna asks Felicia what she missed, and Felicia says, Robert strikes again.

Principal Schultz says what’s in question is a children’s book that celebrates the diversity of Family. Willow would like to explain, but is interrupted by one of the mothers who says she shouldn’t have her own agenda. The classroom shouldn’t be a soapbox. Franco asks which kid is hers, and finds out she’s Bianca’s mother. Franco asks if she has any idea how hurt Aiden was when he wasn’t invited to the birthday party. Nina says, this is unacceptable.

At the MetroCourt, Sasha sees Michael, who says it’s nice to see her back on her feet. Sasha says she didn’t need to go to the hospital, but he says she was delirious when he saw her. She asks if she said anything embarrassing. Michael tells her that she said she wishes Nina was her real mother. Valentin overhears.

Doc tells Julian that he misunderstood. Julian says his sister is vulnerable. When she sees him, she doesn’t just see the man who killed her daughter, but the man who put her on a pedestal, and he’s manipulating that. He thinks if Ava forgives him, the whole town will. Doc says it’s none of his business, and Julian says Ava is coming with him. He grabs her, and Doc tells him not to manhandle her. Julian says, it’s better than assaulting her. Doc had his hands all over her, and was kissing her. Ava says she was kissing back. They’re together.

Peter tells Curtis it’s his and Maxie’s first date. They were flying to Paris, but the storm had other plans. He guesses they’ll have to settle for memorable. Curtis tells him that he’s doing a good job, and to squeeze every moment for all that it’s worth. God forbid something unexpected happens; something he’s not in control of. Don’t take things in life for granted like they’ll always be there. Make the most of each and every moment.

Maxie tells Laura that she and Peter have found every reason not move forward. Laura says they’re here now, and Maxie says they ironed some things out, but she thinks Peter doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. Isn’t that crazy? Laura says she’s heard about Peter’s childhood from Lulu. Keep in mind that he’s a complicated man with complicated feelings. Maybe Maxie has to simplify it, and make the first move.

Julian asks what Ava is talking about. She says it’s been all over the news, and The Invader. Julian says, The Invader is tabloid trash, but Ava says, in this case, it’s true. Ava says she and Doc have been seeing one another, and Julian says Doc is sicker than he thought. Doc suggests Julian leave, and Julian suggests Doc stay away from his sister. Doc says if he was a better brother, maybe she wouldn’t be as vulnerable. He’s been too busy building a bar and reconstructing his image. He’s a last resort for Ava now, just like with his children. Julian punches Doc in the face. A photographer pops out of nowhere, and starts taking pictures.

Curtis says the snow stopped, and Laura says they’re back in business. Curtis says, and out of Maxie and Peter’s. Laura says she’ll see them back in Port Charles. Peter is glad they could help. Laura and Curtis leave, and Maxie says, so…? Peter says, so.

Finn tells Chase that he’s not going after Robert, and Chase asks how else is he going to get the ring back? Finn says Robert is supposed to give it to him tonight. He appreciates it, but doesn’t need rescuing from his little brother. Chase says, history says otherwise, but Finn thinks he has it under control. He’ll let Chase know when the deed is done. Chase says he and Willow can take them out to celebrate. Finn says Chase is still with the school marm. Chase wishes Finn wouldn’t call her that, and Finn says that’s why he does it. He’s teasing. Chase says Willow takes her job seriously.

Nina says they wanted a discussion; let’s discuss. She’s going to say what Willow should have said at the get-go. Schools exist to help children learn to form their own ideas, which is what parents also do. It’s not to force feed them what someone else believes. She says, they want to read something that reflects their own experiences, or look through the window of the experiences of others. They’re not indoctrinating children, just helping them be who they are. Children will do it anyway, like it or not, so why not help the kids who need more guidance or extra guidance, and let them access that? It’s no big deal. If they want to talk about what’s hurting their kids, they should discuss the chicken fingers in the cafeteria.

Sasha tells Michael that she wouldn’t want that to get back to Nina. They’ve come so far so fast. It would hurt Nina. If Sasha is asked about her mom, she immediately thinks of her adoptive mother. She doesn’t think she can shake that feeling, but couldn’t share that with Nina. She asks if it bothers him, but he says it sounds like she’s protecting Nina. She says, by lying? He says, there are some lies and truths that serve no purpose. He doesn’t believe in the truth for truth’s sake. The world is not so black and white. Her secret is safe with him. Valentin continues to listen.

Laura and Curtis go back to the last house. Curtis says, the mail is gone, and Laura says, someone is home. She knocks, and a woman answers. She apologizes for coming by so late, but they were delayed be the storm. They introduce themselves as being from Canadian Revenue, and Curtis says they’re following up on a discrepancy in their records. Laura asks if the woman is April, and if they can come in. She says she’s April, but no. We see the newspaper inside with a headline about Ryan. Laura asks if April has been away, and April asks if that’s the discrepancy. Laura says, no, but they tried knocking earlier. No one answered, and she noticed the piled up mail, and assumed no one was home. April says she just got back from a trip. Curtis hopes it was somewhere warm, and April says, Miami. He says she doesn’t look like she got much sun. Laura asks how many people live there, and April says, just her. She tells them she’s tired. Laura tries to ask how long she’s lived there, but April closes the door.

Julian tells the reporter to get that guy out of his face, referring to the photographer. He says yes, he hit Doc, but Doc provoked him. He was harassing Julian all day. Ava tells Doc that he pushed all of Julian’s buttons. She didn’t know he had it in him. Doc says the better the show, the sooner they draw out Ryan, and the sooner it’s over. Julian says tell them it’s a misunderstanding and there was no crime. Ava looks at Doc.

Finn tells Chase that anyone juggling third graders and their parents has his admiration. Chase says Willow finds shaping kids hugely rewarding, and Finn says, good thing she has him to lean on. Chase says he’s not going anywhere, but things are complicated. Finn asks if she gave Chase homework, and I laugh. Chase says Willow’s ex is still an issue. She can’t shake him; not for lack of trying. Finn asks why Chase didn’t tell him sooner. He says, let’s get that jerk, and free your girl. He heads for the elevator.

Willow thanks Nina for defending her. Nina says she wasn’t. she was speaking out against censorship. Willow has poor judgement in the classroom, and is fundamentally dishonest. She saw Willow sucking up to Michael when she has a boyfriend. Willow says, that’s not what happened, but Nina tells Willow to watch herself – because she is.

Peter says, the trip has been full of surprises, and Maxie says, a flight to France. He says, rerouted to Canada. She says, surprise guests, and he says, there could be more surprises. He says he’s beat, and she says she is too. Maxie asks if he wants to go to sleep. He says, does she? and she says, there’s not much else to do this late. He says, not really, and they say goodnight. When Maxie is gone, Peter sighs.

Anna tells Felicia that Robert and Holly are taking a break. Does Felicia think she could fix him up? Felicia says, maybe he already has eye on someone. Anna says, he needs a woman to occupy himself. Felicia says he’s been hanging around Port Charles for a while, and wonders if it’s because of someone there.

Michael suggests he and Sasha go to the café. He knows the private entrance. She says she’ll meet him there. He leaves, and she runs into Valentin on her way out. He says she and Michael seem be hitting it off. She says they enjoy each other’s company, but he tells her to keep in mind her time there is limited. He and Nina will be married soon, and she can move away. Hopefully, as far as possible.

Peter flops on the bed, and thinks about kissing Maxie. Maxie flops on the bed, and thinks about kissing Peter. He sits up, and says, make the most of each and every moment. She sits up, and says, simplify. Make the first move. They meet in the suite living room, and start kissing. For all the time they wasted, they waste none now, and they both flop onto the bed.

Nina meets Valentin at the MetroCourt. He says she just missed Michael and Sasha. He says it’s officially been a fulfilling evening, and asks how hers went. She says, swimmingly. He asks if they got the book back in the library, and she says, that too.

Willow thanks Principal Schultz. She’s grateful for his support. She wants to run some ideas past him for next year’s curriculum. He says he’d intended to delay this conversation until the end of the school year, but it can’t be avoided. He’s sorry, but she won’t be invited back to teach next year.

Anna tells Felicia, it’s true. Robert has been hanging around so much lately. Felicia says maybe he’s looking to resettle there. Anna pities the poor woman. She gets a phone call, and steps away to take it.

Chase tells Finn that he doesn’t need rescuing, the same way Finn doesn’t. Finn says, you’re learning, grasshopper, and Chase goes, huh? Finn says, you are so young… never mind. If Chase needs help, let him know, and says hi to the school marm for him. Chase says, say hi to his future sister-in-law. Providing he gets the ring back. He tells Finn that he’ll keep his phone on, and to let him know what happens.

Robert and Mac show Felicia the ring. Mac says, well? Felicia says, it’s beautiful, but he’ll never pull it off. Robert asks why she’s being a pessimist. Mac says Robert described it to the jeweler, and he doesn’t think Finn will know the difference. Felicia supposes he has a point. Robert says, but will Anna find Finn’s proposal worth accepting? Felicia says Anna might keep her emotions to herself, but she knows Anna’s heart. She’s a woman in love. Ring or no ring, she’s ripe for a proposal.

Doc says Julian is Ava’s brother, but Ava says she’ll stand by Doc’s side if he wants to press charges. If that doesn’t get Ryan’s attention… Doc says, not much else would. She tells Julian that she’s so sorry, but there’s nothing she can do. He did assault her lover. Doc says he’d like to press charges. Julian asks what he’s talking about, as handcuffs are put on him.

Laura asks what Curtis thinks. He says, she lied. Laura says, why? and he says, covering something up maybe? Inside, April tells someone that she sent them away. The paper they wanted is on the table. We see the paper with a picture of Ava and Doc, and a knife comes down on it.

Tomorrow, Curtis is ready to talk, Anna tells Robert that she’s sworn off marriage, Mike proposes to Yvonne with the ring, Shiloh wants to complete Sam’s initiation, and someone goes after Laura.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Justin tells David, he’s been waiting for this moment. David says, get the gun out of his face. Justin says, get the hell out of his apartment. David sent those guys to his place. David says if Justin puts a gun on him, he’d better use it, and Justin says he plans to. David asks where his son is, and Justin says, get out. David says his son is all he has left, and he loves him. Justin says that makes two of them. David says he’d kill for Jeffrey, and Justin says, again, that makes two of them. Get out. David calls for Jeffrey, who’s in the bathroom. Justin repeats he’s not there. David says he has a lot of pictures of Jeffrey, and he’s having dinner for two by himself. Justin says he does that from time to time. David calls for Jeffrey again, and Justin says, get out. He means it.

Jeffrey comes out, and asks what the hell Justin is doing. Justin says, sorry, but David’s got to go. When Justin turns to talk to Jeffrey, David pops him, and takes the gun. He says he’ll kill Justin, and piss on his grave. Jeffrey tells him, stop it, and David lets Justin go. He tells Jeffrey to come with him, but Jeffrey says he’s not going. David asks if Jeffrey can’t see this boy is crazy, and Jeffrey says he’s trying to help Justin. David says they’re leaving, but Jeffrey says he’s an adult. David isn’t leaving him there, and Jeffrey asks how David knew where he was. David says Jeffrey needs to come home with him – now. Jeffery says he’ll make a deal. He’ll stop seeing Justin when David stops seeing Veronica. David says, that’s entirely different. Jeffrey tells him that he should go, and David says, fine. He tells Justin if any harm comes to his son, he’ll kill him. If so much as a fingernail is broken, he’s dead. He gives Jeffrey the gun, saying Jeffrey will need it more than he will. David leaves, and Jeffrey sits on the couch next to Justin, who looks wiped out.

Jeffrey asks if Justin is okay. Justin asks why David hates him so much, and Jeffrey says, yeah, he’s okay. Justin says he didn’t do anything to David. Why won’t he leave them alone? Jeffrey says he’s their only child. Justin says all he’s trying to do is love Jeffrey. Why is it so complicated? Jeffrey says he’ll get through this, and Justin says, with Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he needs Justin to talk to someone, and Justin says, don’t start that again. Jeffery says he’s going to go. His dad is going to be pissed off. Justin says, no. They’re finishing dinner. He still has dessert. If David is pissed now, he’ll be pissed later, and he made it for Jeffrey. Then he can leave. Jeffrey says, okay. Justin wonders why David did that, and Jeffrey says Justin knows.

Benny sees a news reporter interviewing Landon after the White House dinner. The reporter asks about Candice, and Landon says she and Charles have a special relationship. The reporter asks if they’ll be getting married, and Landon says, we’ll see. The reporter asks about the visit, and Landon says they loved her, and they all had fun being there. Benny tries to call Candace, but gets voicemail. He shouts for Hanna to come. She’s lying in bed, and says, not now. He goes into her bedroom, and says she needs to see this. He puts on the TV. The reporter is saying that Candace is a third year law student. Benny’s phone rings. It’s Mitch, who asks if he’s watching the news. He can’t believe she did it. She got the President. Benny asks if that’s the guy who came to the hospital. Mitch says, yes, but he had no idea. He says she has to be careful. Politicians are killers. Benny says Candace can handle herself, and Mitch says they’ll find out. Benny asks how Mitch’s uncle is doing, and Mitch says, all right. Benny asks if Mitch talked to him. Mitch asks, about what? and Benny says, the interest. Mitch says, he’s not budging. Does Benny have a plan? Benny says he was just talking to his mom about it. Mitch tells him, stay in touch, and let him know.

At the Iron Bone, the guy sitting next to Mitch at the bar asks if that wasn’t the girl who was in there. Mitch didn’t tell him that she was connected like that. Mitch asks if he wants to hit that now, but the guy says he didn’t vote for him. Mitch wonders when he’s given a sh*t, and the guy tells him, go buy a car. Mitch says if the guy has a problem with his car, buy him one, which totally sounds like what I would say. The guy says Mitch doesn’t have the money, and Mitch says he’s not kissing Vinnie’s ass like him. In five years, his car will be worth fifty grand. Vintage. The guy says, more like garbage, and Mitch says, ride that bike, dude. Dude tells the bartender he can’t stand Mitch.

Kathryn tells Jim that he needs to calm down. He says, don’t tell him what to do. He wonders how she stays calm, and she says she has drugs. He says that’s why he’s in this mess. How can she keep drugs there with his son? She says she didn’t think… and he says she never does. She says she thinks he’s an ass. He says she needs to go somewhere and sleep off, but she says she needs another drink. Then she’s going to call her Latin lover, and have him put her to sleep. Jim says she’s pathetic, and walks out.

Kathryn calls the hotel. She’s told Roderick isn’t there, and says she’s been calling all day. Kathryn Cryer. I’m your boss, bitch. She says to transfer her to the bar. Rocky answers, and she asks for Roderick. Roderick is standing there, shaking his head. Rocky says, actually, he is, and she says, put him on the phone. Roderick says, you bastard, and takes the phone. She says she’s been calling all day, and he says he’s been busy. She says she’s not the type who likes to be ignored, but he says he wasn’t ignoring her. He’s been busy. She asks if she detects a tone in his voice, and he says, no. He has a customer right now, and she says, make them wait. He says he’s going to check them in and go home. She says, no he isn’t. She’s coming in for a nightcap, and wants to see him. He doesn’t think so. She asks if it’s about Jim, and he says it’s about him, and he says no. She says his ass better be there when she arrives, and he hangs up. Rocky asks, did he just hang up on her? and Roderick says he did. Kathryn looks at the phone, and says, did he just hang up? Rocky says, she’s going to be pissed. Is Roderick trying to get fired? Roderick says, no. He’s trying to get to her. Watch the master at work. She’s used to getting what she wants, and the rich want what they can’t have. Rocky asks if he’s been reading a book on how to trap a wealthy woman. Roderick says he could write it. Watch him work. Rocky tells him, watch out for her husband. Roderick says, watch and see. When he leaves, Rocky says, that guy’s nuts.

Benny answers a knock at the door. It’s Mitch. He asks if Benny was watching the news. His sister’s with the President; it’s crazy. That’s her man now. He asks how Benny is doing, and Benny says, not good. Mitch says Benny called him; what’s up? Has he found a way to get the money? Benny says, no, and Mitch says Benny is wasting his time. Benny asks what Mitch thinks they’ll do to him. He can have a leg broke. He thinks he should go down there and take it like a man. Mitch says Benny doesn’t get it. It don’t work like that. They’ll break both legs, and still want the money. it’s accruing interest every week Benny doesn’t pay seen him. He knows a guy who borrowed $10K, and had to pay back $100K in eight weeks. This ain’t no bank. He told Benny not to do this in the first place. Now it’s legit. He wishes he could help. Benny suggests Mitch take out a loan, and Mitch laughs. He says, from who? and Benny says from his family. They won’t break his legs. Mitch says he’s not doing that. If he borrows money from them, that means he’s in the family. Benny asks, what’s wrong with that? and Mitch says, it ain’t cool. It’s hard enough trying separate from them. Benny says how about if he works? but Mitch says, it ain’t gonna happen. Benny asks if it’s because he’s Black, but Mitch says he’s not in the family. They only let family do things that make them money. He has no ideas or answers. Benny says he doesn’t need an I told you so. Hanna appears, and says, so they’re going to kill him if he doesn’t pay. Benny tells her, go on to bed, but she keeps talking. Mitch says, hi, and Hanna says, hi Mitch, without taking her eyes from Benny. She says he borrowed from people who are that bad? Benny says he had to do something. She says he has to deal with it then. He says if he took the interest from the money Candace got… She says, goodnight. They’re going to the bank in the morning, and giving it all back, and she doesn’t want to hear it. Benny says, it will be all right. She says, if he says so, and goes back upstairs. Mitch has an idea. Go to Candace for the money. She’s with the President now. Maybe he’s wired her to some account. It’s only $20K. Maybe she’ll give it to him. It’s worth a shot. She’s the one who got him into the situation with his truck. Benny says, might as well.

Charles and Candace go back to the hotel. Candace’s phone rings. She says it’s her brother, and Charles says her family probably saw her on the news. She asks, when? and he says, didn’t she see all the cameras outside the White House? She does know a press pool follows him and records everything, right? She says, yeah. She’ll talk to Benny later. Charles says, now where were they? He tells her that she’s gotten quiet. She says they were talking in the car, and he says, then she got quiet. She says, it’s a lot, and he tells her it helps to talk through it. She says, what part? Being here with President Elect when they just came from the White House? That doesn’t happen every day to a Black girl from Savannah. He knows it’s overwhelming, but she has to let him know what’s going on in her head. She tells him that he said she was a hot piece of Black ass. Charles says, what? Who? and she says, the President. Charles asks, when? and she says, at the table. He says, the President said those words, hot piece of Black ass? He takes out his phone, and says he’ll take care of this. She says that’s why she didn’t tell him. She knew he’d be upset. So the President knows what kind of person she is. He says it’s time the President knows what kind of person he is. She says she shouldn’t have told him. She ruined a perfectly good night. She’s been called a lot worse. He says, by a head of state? She says, no, and he says, exactly. She can see why it’s so disrespectful. She says, he’s so cool. What about the game in the car? He says that was before he knew the President said that. She tells him, let it go for the night. Charles doesn’t know if he can. She asks if that’s a challenge. Does he want her to take his mind off things? She kisses him, and asks if he wants more. He says, it’s a start. She wants to take a shower, and motions for him to come closer. She tells him, undress for her, calling him Mr. President. He says she should count herself lucky there isn’t a pole in there, but he could put one in the Oval. She helps him take off his clothes, and leads him to the shower.

Kathryn comes downstairs, and Jim asks where the hell she’s going. She says, out. He says he asked a question, and she says, she answered. He wonders if she’s going to the hotel, and she wonders if he’s going to hell. He asks if she has any idea what time it is, and she says, time for a nightcap. Wyatt pops out of his room, and tells Jim, get out of her way. She’s trying get to her man whore. He tells her, hurry back. He has a surprise for her. She leaves, and Jim tells Wyatt, go to his room. Wyatt says he has a surprise for Jim too. Jim says, now.

RK kisses Veronica on the couch. He asks, what’s wrong with her? and she asks if he got her jewelry. She tells him, no woman wants a man who’s sweaty, but he says, some like it. She says he had his chance. He’s a disgusting problem, and she wants him to get her jewelry. He says she gave him her son’s address. He’ll do what she wants. Nothing sexual. She tells him, don’t disgust her, and RK says, he’s gay. She asked RK to flirt with him, and get his mind off that cop. He’s got it, and can do it. She says, this will be worth her jewelry? He says he’ll have her son eating out of the palm of his hand. She says he can’t just go to the house. Her son is living with his father. She tells him, lay low, and she’ll figure it out. He says this is going to cover him for her jewelry, right? but she says he’ll be owing her for a very long time. Now get the hell out of her house. He asks if she’ll let him use a car then. He needs to get around. She laughs, and he leaves. She calls David’s voicemail, and say she’s still waiting for him to come back.

Kathryn walks into the Artisian. Roderick meets her. She asks how he is, and he says, good. She says, not that good, hanging up on her. He says he didn’t want talk to her anymore, and she asks, why is that? He’s sorry… She says she doesn’t have time for this. Get Rocky, and meet her upstairs. He doesn’t think so, and she says, excuse me? He says she heard him. She doesn’t think he heard her. The only reason he stayed here is because she wanted to see him. He says, not true. He was tied up with guests. She says, bullsh*t. They’re going upstairs. He says, they’re not going anywhere. He’s not doing threesomes anymore. She says she wants to, but he doesn’t care. She’s just using him. She asks what this is about, and he says he can’t keep doing this. If she gets tired of him, what does he get out of it? She says he’s the most excitement she’s had in long time. He says, so he’s just a toy. She says he’s not, and he asks what he gets out of it. She asks what he wants; a raise? He says, no, and she says, more money? He wants her. She laughs, and says, no, he doesn’t. Roderick asks if he’s gotten in her head, that husband of hers. He’s gotten in so deep, she can’t see what a beautiful woman she is. She says she was a beautiful woman, but when she looks in the mirror, she see the years have gone downhill. She’s in her 50s, and it would be foolish to think she could compete with a thirty-year-old he might be seeing. He says he’s not seeing anyone else. He wants her. If he can’t have her the way he wants, fire him now, but if she comes at him like she wants him, he’s not a piece of meat. He walks away, and she says, okay.

She goes to the bar, and orders scotch on the rocks. I retch because I hate scotch, even the smell. She watches Roderick talk to a customer. She asks if Rocky is free, and Rocky tells her Roderick is serious. She says he’d better make it a double.

Justin washes the dishes while Jeffrey dries. Justin asks, who keeps calling. Jeffrey says, his dad. Justin says, sorry about that, and Jeffrey says he shouldn’t have put a gun to David’s head. Justin says David shouldn’t have sent people after him. Jeffrey knows, and Justin asks why Jeffrey is sticking up for him. Jeffrey says he’s not. He’d better go. Justin doesn’t want him to leave. He notices Jeffrey got a text, and asks if it was Jeffrey’s dad. Jeffrey says it was, and Justin asks what he said. Jeffrey says, nothing. He just wants him to come home already. Justin says Jeffrey put his phone face down. Is he hiding something? Jeffrey says, no, but Justin wants to see. Jeffrey says he’s not doing that. It’s his phone. Justin says Jeffrey can go through his phone, but Jeffrey doesn’t want to. Justin says Jeffrey can see all the nasty texts from his wife, co-workers, boss, mother, and brothers. Jeffrey says it’s his personal business, but Justin wants to see his phone. Jeffrey says, no, and Justin says it’s because he’s lying. Jeffery says, enough; stop. Justin says, they trust each other, right? Jeffrey says he’s not giving Justin his phone. They just had a nice dinner. Can they not do this? Justin keeps insisting, and Jeffrey says he’s going.

Jeffrey’s phone rings, and Justin grabs it. He asks, who is this? and Wyatt says, damn. Is that guy still messing around with him? Justin says he is, and asks again who it is. Wyatt tells him to put Jeffrey on the phone. Justin says he told Wyatt never to call Jeffrey. Wyatt says he’ll call as much as he pleases. Give Jeffrey the phone. Justin says he means it. If Wyatt calls again, he’ll break Wyatt’s jaw. He says, wait. Was Wyatt trying to get ahold of him? Does the straight boy need a fix? Get on his knees again? Wyatt says he didn’t do a damn thing, but Justin says he wanted to. Wyatt says, go to hell, and Justin tells him, don’t call again. Jeffrey says, give him his phone. Justin says he’s been texting Madison. I say, uh-oh. Justin says Jeffrey texted Madison his address. They were having a nice, romantic dinner, and Jeffrey texted the address. What else is in there? Jeffrey says he’s not doing this again. Keep it.

He heads for the door. Justin takes out two guns. He holds one to Jeffrey’s head, and one to his own head.

Next time, Jeffrey says only one gun has a bullet, Benny asks Jim if he wants to go again, and Kathryn tells Jim she’s going to let Hanna keep all of the money.

🐉 Dracarys Or Bust

I don’t know what everyone is so upset about. The remaining dragon is fine.

Varys told a kitchen maid, the greater the risk the greater the reward, when she told him Dany wouldn’t eat, and I had a mental picture of him looking at a medieval motivational poster. (Please note the connection of dots below that I totally missed here.) He tried to get Jon to reveal who he really is, but Jon said Dany was his queen. Varys told him, every time a Targaryen is born, the gods toss a coin and the world holds its breath. Tyrion told Dany about Varys meddling, and Dany though Jon betrayed her by telling Sansa, who told Tyrion. Dany said it didn’t matter now, and looked older than sixteen for the first time. Grey Worm took Varys to Tyrion, Dany and Jon. Varys hoped he deserved what was coming, and was proved wrong. Dany sentenced him to die, and it was dracarys and a roasted Varys. I liked him, but well, there you go.

Dany gave Grey Worm Missandel’s old collar, and he burned it. Jon said Dany was his queen and she wanted to get busy, but it was a hard no, which didn’t make her too happy. Tyrion told Dany the people of King’s Landing were prisoners. She said she was going to be merciful… to future generations. Tyrion looked sick. She said the next time Tyrion failed her would be the last. Arya and the Hound were on a mission to kill Cersei. Jaime got caught, and Tyrion went to see him. He told Jaime that Cersei would die unless he could get her to stay her course of action. The city was going to fall, He should escape with Cersei, and start a new life. He said, tens of thousands of innocent lives, and one not-so-innocent dwarf was a fair trade. If it hadn’t been for Jaime, he wouldn’t have survived childhood. At King’s Landing, Cersei was like, see ya, and locked herself in the Keep. Arya and the Hound managed to muscle their way through the crowd,, but Jaime had noon such luck. Waiting on his Iron Boat, (sounds like) Urine Greyjoy kept checking the sky. Why she didn’t do this last week, I’ll never know, but everyone got darcarysed by Dany on Drogon, including Urine. This caused the crew at the city door to scramble around, but they got singed as well. I guess if you want something done right…

Zoolander headed Cersei’s army, and everyone stood around until King’s Landing was blown apart from the inside. Grey Worm led the charge, but I don’t know why he even bothered at that point. Zoolander tried to run, but got trampled, and it was pretty funny. Then he literally got stabbed in the back by Grey Worm. Cersei watched from her off-ivory tower as her city burned. She said all they needed was one good shot. Old guy Hand was like, give up, but Cersei stuck with being delusional, saying the city hadn’t fallen yet, and it wouldn’t today. I laughed when the dragon flew over the city, and everyone scurried to get anywhere but there. (Sorry, I never had much investment in any of the characters, except Tyrion and the dragons, and sometimes find the over-the-top stuff a bit Monty Pythonish.) Then I was really laughing when the head soldier dude threw his sword down, and Cersei’s idea that they’d protect her to the death didn’t happen. Jaime snuck around the back way.

The bell rang, indicating surrender, but Dany didn’t care. She flew straight at the tower Cersei was in, with everyone in the city running like Godzilla was coming. Dracarys was everywhere, and there was a melee with the remaining soldiers, where Jon just stood around spacing out, and Grey Worm single-handedly creamed about five dozen soldiers. He was like Michonne on Walking Dead. Tyrion was like, wtf?

Somehow, Urine survived, and he and Jaime ended up in the same cave. Urine said he became king once he screwed the queen. They fought, and I was like, oh please, don’t let Jaime get killed by this loser. It looked like Jaime was a goner, but that was still debatable. Cersei cried a tear, and old guy Hand said they’d find a better place to wait out the storm. She let him lead her away.

Jaime managed to crawl to his sword, and stab the crap out of Urine. He stomped off, while Urine’s last words were that he got Jaime, and he was going to die thinking he was the man who killed Jaime Lannister. I think the line would have been better had he said the Kingslayer, but that’s just me. The Hound told Arya to go home, but she wanted to kill Cersei. He said revenge was all he cared about his whole life, and look at him. Did she want to be that? He said if she went with him, she’d die. She thanked him, and got the hell out of there, as we all would had he given us that option.

We found out the Mountain looked like Uncle Fester under his helmet. No wonder he’s always so pissed off. Jaime found Cersei, and stopped my fun in watching her be scared for the first time. They clutched each other. The Hound shoved his sword all the way through the Mountain, but it was just a flesh wound, and the Mountain pulled it out, and made like Yul Brynner in the original Westworld. I was hoping Arya would save him, as the Mountain tossed him around like a football, but she was taking a similar pummeling, trying to run with the crowd. The Hound heard me say, get his eyeball, and stabbed the Mountain in it. While the Mountain struggled to pull out the blade, they both went over the side of the tower into the burning city. By now, Jon was all, fall back, like an hour too late. Arya tried to help the people hiding, but ended up in flames herself… or so we thought. Cersei whined to Jaime that she didn’t want to die like this. She should have thought of that before. Idiot narcissist that he is, Jaime said nothing else mattered but them. Everything fell around them.

Arya rose from the ashes. Sadly without dragon babies. She got on a white horse that seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and rode away. Next time – the finale – Tyrion surveys the damage, and Dany rules (?).

Now who’s going to clean up all that dracarys?

💭 What We Thought…

Theories about Jaime, including mine, bite the dust along with King’s Landing.

https://www.menshealth.com/entertainment/a27445554/game-of-thrones-director-jaime-brienne/?src=nl&source=nl&utm_source=nl_mnl&utm_medium=email&date=051219&utm_campaign=16850244

🔥 What Happened…

I was possibly too concerned about the remaining dragon to connect the dots.

https://www.distractify.com/p/did-varys-try-to-poison-daenerys?utm_source=distractify&utm_medium=email

Foreshadows come to pass.

https://www.theringer.com/game-of-thrones/2019/5/13/18617389/game-of-thrones-daenerys-targaryen-season-8-episode-5-mad-queen

🐲 How Many Felt…

My favorite recap.

https://betches.com/game-of-thrones-recap-aryas-gonna-take-her-horse-to-the-old-town-road/

📷 Nice Photos!

Trying to end on an upbeat note.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/12/why-game-of-thrones-episode-5-was-the-deadliest-yet/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190513&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-7911524-711673032

🌴 Due to time constraints (i.e. I need time to sleep), and a Mother’s Day debacle that infringed on said time, I’m begging off The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills until tomorrow. Both LVP and Giggy (!) made an appearance, which made it worthwhile.

🛀 Soap Within Soap…

While there have been Rows since then, this is the original.

May 7, 2019 – Freedom For Kristina, the President Doesn’t Like Charles, Beverly Hills Goes Camping (Sort Of, Not Really), Promised Throne, Snarky Throne, Reason Rebut, Rogue Coffee Cup & Finally

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly comes down to find Jax. They hug.

Anna tells Finn that Robert drives her crazy, but has a way of giving her clarity. She realized the truth was staring her in the face. Peter isn’t her son.

Peter takes Maxie onto a private plane. He wanted to make sure their overdue date was special. She says, a five-star restaurant is special. This is… She tells him it’s hard to pack when you don’t know where you’re going. Is he going to tell her? He says, guess. She guesses they’re going to see a Broadway show in New York. He says, no, but it’s a city. She says, LA? Chicago? Are they going to Portland to see Georgie? He says, no, but he’s filing that away for next time. Think bigger, like internationally. She says it’s a good thing she always takes her passport, and he says he took that into consideration. He says there are bridges, and a tower by a guy named Eiffel. She says, they’re going to Paris?

Michael tells Willow, yesterday was huge for Kristina and his family. He knows it was intensely painful, but Willow says, it was for a good cause. Michael says, that doesn’t make it easier, and thanks her again.

Neil tells Kristina that she’s free to go. The choice is hers. Chase appears at the door and says, there she is. He tells Kristina that she’s not an easy person to find.

Sam arrives at DOD. Shiloh says he was beginning to think she changed her mind. She hands him the recorder, and says it’s her Pledge to him and everything he stands for. She goes inside, and he smiles behind her back. She says, it’s so quiet, and wonders where everyone went. He says they went to a rally in Beecher’s Corners. Normally, he’d be there, but her Pledge requires his special attention. He listens to what she’s recorded.

Anna tells Finn that she has no way of knowing how Cabot’s procedure worked, but guesses it’s a memory that Alex wouldn’t be strong enough to carry on her own; giving birth to a son, and giving him up for adoption. That’s the memory that was implanted; she knows it. She says she should hate Alex, but she doesn’t. She feels kind of sorry for her.

Maxie says she hasn’t been in Paris in forever, and even then, it was only for work. Tell her about it. He describes some sights, and she says he’s using a lot of words she can’t pronounce (and I can’t type that fast). He says he’s talking about the stained glass. When the sun hits it; it’s stunning. He says they can get ice cream, and the best falafel she’s ever had. She says, dessert before lunch? She’s in. She wonders if they can get a croissant in there, and he says they can get one at the metro. She says, bread from a subway station? She’ll see. The attendant says they’re ready for take-off.

Sam asks Shiloh if there’s something wrong. He’d assumed the secret would be about her, but she says she’s already told him all her secrets. He says, it’s about Jason. That means Jason still matters to her. She says, of course (🍷). He’s Danny’s father. He’ll always be a part of her life, whether she likes it or not. Doesn’t it show him how far she’s willing go for him and DOD? She’s putting her own son’s father at risk. He says he’ll transcribe a copy for her to sign. Since she’s already made her financial contribution, they can start her initiation now.

Sonny tells Chase that they’re having a family gathering. He asks who Neil is, and Neil introduces himself, adding that he’s a psychologist. Sonny asks what brings Chase by, and he says he was looking for Kristina. Valerie got a call from her, saying she needed help. Sonny says they got things sorted out, but Chase wants to hear that from Kristina.

Carly says Josslyn will be happy to see Jax. He tells her to let Josslyn rest. Carly says she hasn’t done a lot of that lately. It’s been heart breaking for her, but she’s she’s been strong and so brave. Jax wonders where she gets it from. Carly wishes she could do more to get Josslyn through it, but Josslyn won’t let her. She had to experience all of it. Jax says she’s done more than she knows, and Carly says so has he. He made time to speak to Josslyn every night. She’s sure the time difference made it complicated. She thinks the distance made him a safe place for Josslyn to stay. She could describe Oscar to someone who wasn’t there watching him die. He says he struggled about whether he should get on a plane immediately, but she thinks it was more helpful to wait. He did the right thing, the best thing, by showing up now. Josslyn needs her dad.

Finn asks how Anna feels, and she says it’s complicated. She’s relieved that it wasn’t her who put on a wig and went to Faison. He was a monster. Now she knows she never… Finn says, it’s a huge plus. He can’t imagine how she must have felt; how freaked out and panicked she was. She says, technically, she can, but it wasn’t her; it was Alex. The irony is, Valentin suspected it. When they had that conversation. he never said if it was Alex or her. She never thought she’d be saying this, but she should have listened to him.

Willow and Michael sit outside Kelly’s. Willow says, it’s comfortable. Opening up to him about the pain of missing her son, and now it’s same way. It’s mortifying that she could ever think of being with Shiloh. Michael says he forced her to do something she’d never do on her own, and not to blame herself or think she chose it. It was completely wrong. He suggests maybe she should talk to somebody. He had a similar experience, and didn’t want talk to anyone, but it helped. She says she’ll look into it. Nina approaches their table.

Kristina tells Chase that she just needed get away for a few days. Alexis says Neil was available for some much needed counseling. Kristina says she feels better now, and Chase says there were some concerns, so he was following up. Kristina says she’s right there. She’ll call Valerie when she goes home. Chase says, sorry to bother them, but Alexis says, no apology necessary. After Chase is gone, Neil tells Alexis that her family is adept at… Alexis says, lying? He says he was looking for a more delicate word, but yes. Kristina asks if Alexis rented out her room, or put in a home gym. Alexis says Kristina knows she doesn’t work out. They hug.

Jax tells Carly, it appears congratulations are in order. She thanks him, and he asks when she’s due. She says, late September, early October. He asks if there will be the same complications as with Josslyn, but she says, not this time. She’s being monitored carefully, and she’s eating super healthy. He’d be proud. He says it explains what was going on with Josslyn. She asks what he means, and he says a few weeks ago, during the Niagara Falls incident, he sensed she wanted tell him something, but she didn’t say anything. Carly says, Josslyn has been caught up in everything Oscar. If she has an opinion, she didn’t share it. He says he can lecture her, but she says, please don’t. He’s happy for them, especially Josslyn. After the loss she’s suffered, she gets a new person to love. Carly thanks him for being so wonderful. Jason comes in, and tells Jax that Milo said he was there. He asks if it’s a bad time, but Jax says it gives him a chance to say hi, and thank him.

Shiloh tells Sam, typically, for the initiation, she’d wear a special garment, and her fellow Trust members would be there. Sam is glad it’s just the two of them, and he says he is too. He holds out the cup, saying, something to calm her nerves. She asks if she seems nervous, and he says, no. She tells him that she doesn’t need that. She wants to be fully aware of everything he has planned, and experience it all. He says there will be pain, but she thinks she can handle it. She reclines on the pillows, and he promises, the discomfort will pass, and be followed by pleasure.

Jax says it’s good to see Jason. Carly was thrilled when she found out he was alive. She says, thrilled and grateful he’s been there for her. She’s especially grateful he’s been there for Josslyn. He’s been great, giving her someone to really talk to. She melted down on him. He’s been a good friend. Jax knows what a good friend he is to have, and on behalf of their daughter, thanks him. Jason says they don’t have to thank him. Josslyn is amazing. She’s confident, determined, and one of the bravest people he knows. She’s like Carly in a bunch of ways, but he sees a lot of Jax; compassion, joy, and kindness. Carly says, excuse me? She’s joyful and kind. She’s as joyful as you can get. They just look at her, and she says, what?

Nina tells Michael that she’s sorry to hear about his cousin. Such a tragedy; he was so young. She asks how Josslyn is, and Michael says, hanging in there. It’s very difficult for her. Nina asks him to give his family her condolences. She says, on that note, Sasha is doing great. She thanks him for coming see Sasha, and Michael says he might have given her that cold. Nina is glad they’re both on the mend. Michael asks Willow if she wants coffee, and Willow says, that would be great. He goes inside, and Nina wonders if she’s misreading the situation. Willow asks what she’s talking about, and Nina says Willow knows exactly what she’s talking about.

Anna tells Finn that she can practically pinpoint the time she was taken to the cabin. After Peter was born, and the adoption was arranged in Brussels. Finn says, it makes sense. Anna says it must have been the thing resonating with Alex at the time the transfer happened. It would have been at the top of her mind, and explains why it was given to her. She has to hand it to Cabot; it really worked. Even though she knows it’s Alex and not her who gave birth to Peter, it doesn’t change any visceral feelings. She can remember the creaky stairs, the smell of the room, the midwife. She’s glad it was her sister, but it still feels like it was her. Finn says, in her heart, she still feels like Peter’s mother? and she says, yeah, she does, and she doesn’t want him to know she’s not.

Maxie tells Peter about going to dinner at an out of the way place. It only had eight tables, and the best escargot. He says escargot along with her, and tells her it’s his favorite restaurant in Paris – La Petite Cote, the little cave. Maxie can’t believe it. He asks when she was there, and she says, seven years ago for Fashion Week. He says he was there in the spring of 2012. Imagine if they’d met. Maxie wonders if they would have liked each other, and he says he probably would have asked her out. She says she probably would have said yes, and suggests they’d have gone to dinner at La Petite Cote. He says, that’s a fifth date spot. She says then they would have gone somewhere flirty and superficial. Then she would have gone back to the states, and they would probably have never seen each other again. He’s glad it didn’t work that way. He’s glad they got know each other’s hearts first. Maxie excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

Michael gets a text from Sonny – Your sister is back. Thank Willow. Outside, Nina says, Michael’s cousin just died, and Willow says, it’s awful. She tells Willow, to save this wrist on forehead for her boyfriend Chase. Willow asks if Nina is accusing her of hitting on Michael. Nina says she knows women like Willow. They play the victim, and need attention from men. She scored with Chase, and now she needs Michael to fill the bill? Willow says, that’s ridiculous, and Nina says, it’s true. As women, they know what’s going on. She needs to content herself with the one she has, and leave Michael alone.

Kristina asks Alexis if it’s cool if she comes home for a while. Alexis wants her to live there forever. Kristina is embarrassed, but Alexis tells her, don’t be. Only Shiloh should be embarrassed. Sonny says Shiloh will never be able to hurt her again, and Kristina hugs him.

Carly asks Jason if he’s heard anything about Kristina. He says he’s still waiting, and Jax asks, what’s going on? Carly says, Kristina got herself involved in a cult. It’s a long story, but Sonny and Alexis are trying to snap her out of it. They’re praying it works. Jason says if that wasn’t the case, the whole family would be there for Josslyn. Carly thanks Jax again for coming. If the family can’t be there for Josslyn, it’s probably for the best. Josslyn needs to be with a parent, not her crazy extended family. Jason gets a text – All good with Kristina. You’re clear to get Sam. Jason tells them, everything is good. He just came by to see if they needed anything. He leaves, and Jax says he’s sorry about Kristina. Carly says, it’s all right now. Jax says Sonny and Alexis are looking after their daughter. Now they need to look after theirs.

Anna tells Finn, if it was up to Robert, he’d have her tell Peter immediately. He hates Peter. He can’t forgive what Peter did, and the fact that he’s Faison’s son. It’s her biggest challenge. He’s hard headed and stubborn, and she can’t do that to him. She doesn’t want to. Finn says, then don’t. The reality is that she doesn’t know if any of this is true.

Finn asks, does she know what happened? In her heart she does, but can she show him facts? She can’t because there are none. She asks if he doesn’t believe what she’s saying. He says that’s not what he means. He lived through it with her, but there’s no medical proof that Peter was the memory transfer. And at the end of the day, that’s the story she can tell herself. There’s no proof.  She smiles, and thanks him.

Maxie tells Peter that she’s just excited to get there, and asks where they’re staying. Left Bank? Right Bank? Not that it matters. He says maybe she’s not ready for the plane trip and knowing hearts. He doesn’t want her feel like she needs to fake it or force herself to have a good time. Maybe it’s too much too soon. It’s okay. She frowns at him.

Carly says Josslyn must be catching up on weeks of sleep. Jax says she must be exhausted. Oscar’s death is going to hit her all over again. Carly says she’s probably dreaming Oscar is still alive. Jax says Josslyn was never in denial about Oscar’s prognosis. Carly says, she understood, but like with any other life altering event, you can prepare and accept it… Jax says, until it happens. Carly says Josslyn was so calm and proactive. She helped nurse Oscar through his seizures, and never lost it. I beg to differ, but I’ll let it pass. Carly says Josslyn and Oscar had a forward momentum; they had a plan. Jax says she told him about the list. Carly says, on the last day, Josslyn had a book Oscar never read, and she got to reading it to him. She had a purpose, and now she has to figure out what life looks like without Oscar, and what it means to her. Jax says, maybe she’ll do nothing at first. Carly says, or be overreactive, like her mother. Carly wants to guide her, and help her get through it. Jax says the most important thing is for them to be present. They can take their cues from Josslyn, and if she goes too far off the rails, they’ll intervene.

Chase sees Willow, and tells her that he saw Kristina. Michael comes out of Kelly’s, and says he has great news. Chase says he does too. He found Michael’s sister.

Kristina can’t believe she’s thanking Sonny for having his henchmen kidnap her and take her to a safe house until she came to her senses, but she is. Sonny says, without incriminating himself, in his business, he has the power to intervene on his family’s behalf. He’ll never regret having that power. Alexis doesn’t think they should discuss crimes. Sonny and Kristina both say, alleged crimes. Alexis tells Neil, welcome to her world, and Neil says, what a colorful world it is.

Jason peeks into the window at DOD. He tries the door, but it’s locked.

Anna tells Finn that he’s right. He says, of course (🍷). She says, pinning all this on Peter isn’t fair. She’s the only mother he knows. She thinks that she could love him like a son, and maybe if he hangs around long enough, they could have a real relationship. Finn says, maybe Peter will realize how lucky he is to have her in his life. She says she knows who she’s lucky to have. He looks around, and says, oh, him. She thanks him, and tells him that she can’t say it enough. They hold hands.

Peter says he’ll tell the pilot to turn around, and Maxie says, sit. He does, and she says, if they turn around, and he takes her to Paris next week and not today, she’ll regret it for the rest of her life. She knows she’s nervous; her rambling proves it. He says, what rambling? and she says, embarking with him on whatever this might be, means Nathan and the life they shared together is over. She’s learned nothing good happens if you stay paralyzed. You have to be willing to take a leap. She’s ready. That’s why she’s there. She knows this is right, and knows how they feel about each other. She doesn’t want the plane to turn around. He kneels in front of her, and kisses her. She thanks him for taking her to Paris, and he thanks her for taking a leap.

Willow is relieved Kristina is out of the DOD situation, and Michael says, thanks to her. Chase says he didn’t want to get Michael’s family in trouble. Shiloh is bad news, and if he got his hooks back into her, it could have ended worse; not just for her, but Willow. He wasn’t trying to be a jerk. He’s happy it worked out. Michael says they had different methods, but wanted the same thing. He’s grateful for the both of them. He leaves, and Chase says, what a day. What scared him most was that if Sonny and his family were busted for kidnapping, she would be there. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to her. She thanks him for caring, and looking out for her, but she would gladly have taken that risk if it meant getting Kristina away from Shiloh. Chase says, it must be nice, and she says, it feels good. Like she’s finally back in charge of her own life. She’s happy she did it. He’s happier it’s behind them. She says, her too, and they kiss.

Carly says, grief is a journey. It’s like walking through the woods in the dark. You know there’s another side, but you have to go through it. Jax says Josslyn can do it, and if not, they’ll be there for her. Carly asks if he wants her to book a room at the MetroCourt, friends and family discount. He says it’s already booked, and she says, of course (🍷). She asks how long he’s staying in Port Charles, but he’s not sure. He’s working out the details. She asks if he’s staying a while, and he says, that’s the plan.

Sonny asks if they’re ready to go. Alexis says she’ll be right behind them. She thanks Neil, and says she doesn’t know what… She knows they couldn’t have gotten through it without him. He’s glad Kristina is safe, and she says that makes two of them. He tells her, this is just the beginning. The work just started. She says, whatever it takes, and he says, he has no doubt.

Shiloh says, ready? We hear the buzz of the tattoo tool. Sam smiles, and says, yeah; she’s ready. He dips another tool into the ink.

Jason kicks in the door.

Tomorrow, Carly asks if Sonny and Jax are getting along, Valerie tells Brad that DOD is bad news, Kim wants to talk to someone about her son, and Jason takes out his gun.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, my heart had been ripped from my chest as Derrick showed Hanna his lion tattoo.  The tattoo of the man who raped her. The man who is Candace’s father. She backed away, as he sobbed, reminding us all of how unfair life is.

He says he was nineteen. He didn’t even remember her. He knows that’s bad to say, but he didn’t. He was so high; he didn’t even remember. He went to jail that night for robbing a liquor store. He prayed to find the woman he did that too, but he didn’t know it was her. He asks her to please forgive him. He’s so sorry. She tells him not to come near her. He keeps asking her to forgive him, and she tells him, go – now. Benny comes in and asks, what’s going on? Hanna says, nothing, but Benny says, it doesn’t look like nothing. Hanna says Derrick was just leaving, and Benny says he’ll watch him leave.

When Derrick is gone, Benny asks, what happened? She was so happy a while ago. She tells him to drop it. They’re going to see if get a notary to come there and sign the papers in the morning. He asks what about the interest? but she says they’re not going to do that.

Justin stands in front of Jeffrey with a broken bottle to his own neck. Jeffrey tells Justin, stop it; don’t do it. Justin asks why Jeffrey is making this so hard. He gave up everything. Jeffrey says he’s sorry, but he’s not doing anything. He asks Justin to put the broken bottle down. He does, and hugs Jeffrey. He doesn’t know why no one loves him. Does Jeffrey love him? Jeffrey says he does, and Justin tells him, prove it. Stay with him tonight. Jeffery suggests starting with dinner. Justin says he can cook. Jeffrey thinks Justin should talk to someone, and wants them to go together. Justin asks, like couples therapy? Jeffrey says, kind of. He thinks Justin should go first; he’s a little obsessed. Justin says Jeffrey made him that way, and they’ll talk about it later. Jeffrey agrees.

Jeffrey picks up the broken glass. Justin goes in the kitchen, and Jeffery texts Madison the address. Justin brings out more wine. He asks who Jeffrey was texting, and Jeffrey says his dad. He didn’t want David to worry. He doesn’t know Jeffrey is there. Justin says good; David hates him. He says Jeffrey knows what David did to him. Jeffrey says he’s sorry, and Justin thanks Jeffrey for loving him.

Madison’s phone rings. It’s David. He tells David he’ll be right there, and David tells him hurry. He asks if Madison knows where Jeffrey is, but Madison says he doesn’t. Madison asks another nurse, if she had a friend in trouble, and the friend’s father could help him, would she let the father know? She asks if he’s an adult. Madison says, yeah. She says he should tell Jeffrey’s father. He asks how she knows it’s Jeffrey, and she tells him that he’s not good at this. Madison says he did it in the past, and Jeffrey got mad. She says, he’s grown. Madison can’t make him do what he doesn’t want to, and neither can his father. Madison has to go change David’s bandages. She tells him if he thinks Jeffrey is in danger, he should say something. She asks, is it life or death? He says, could be, and she says, then do something.

Jim tells Kathryn that he can’t get Veronica on the phone. They’re going to jail. Kathryn says he’s been there before, and he says she’s not taking him seriously. She says she’s taking him with a shot of vodka, and goes upstairs. His phone rings. It’s Mitch. He wonders who Mitch is, and Mitch says, Malone. He was at the house with Benny. Jim says, Mama Rose’s grandson. Mitch says he has a problem. Jim says he has a lot of problems; be more specific. Mitch says his son. His uncle knows it was him. Jim acts ignorant, and Mitch asks if he wants to play games. Wyatt did what he did to Mitch’s uncle, and they have a hit on him. Jim asks if Rose put the hit on Wyatt, and Mitch says, no; they’ve tried to keep it from her. There were a couple of guys in jail trying to hit him. His uncle wants blood, but Mitch thinks he can get him to not do anything. He needs to speak with Jim, but in the meantime, he’s to keep his son out of sight. Mitch hangs up, and Jim says, what the hell?

Hanna takes a pill, as we all would. She calls Kathryn and says she’s not good. Kathryn says Jim won’t come near her. Hanna asks if Kathryn set her up, putting her in the brownstone, and giving her a makeover? Kathryn asks what Hanna is talking about, and Hanna says, Derrick. Did she know he was in jail? Kathryn says, yes, and Hanna asks why Kathryn didn’t tell her. Kathryn says Derrick has worked for her for years, and he’s a changed man. Hanna asks if she knows what he was in for, and Kathryn says, armed robbery. Hanna asks, is that all? Kathryn is sorry she didn’t tell Hanna, but he’s a really good man. Hanna says, he raped her. Kathryn says she’s calling the police, but Hanna says, not now; years ago. Kathryn is shocked, and asks how Hanna knows. Hanna says she saw his tattoo, and he told her he did it. Kathryn says, oh my God, and Hanna replies, that’s what she said. She says, it was a long time ago. The thing is, that makes him Candace’s father. Kathryn says, this is too much. Hanna says, she was raped and got pregnant. She’ll never forget his lion tattoo. It’s all she could see. She never wants to see him again, and tells Kathryn not to send him over. Kathryn says she won’t, and asks if Candace knows. Hanna says, she knows about the rape, but doesn’t know about him. Kathryn apologizes again, and Hanna says she didn’t know. Kathryn says she’s coming over, but Hanna says, it’s over. She tells Kathryn that a notary is coming in the morning, and to tell her husband. Kathryn says she’s not telling him a damn thing. Hanna says, tell Jim so he’ll leave her son alone, and Kathryn says, okay, and tells Hanna to call if she needs anything. This is just so sad.

Kathryn calls Derrick, and leaves a message for him to call her.

At the White House, the President (whose name I still don’t know, and apparently, neither does IMDb) toasts to new blood. First Lady Margaret says she likes Candace, and Candace thanks her. Margaret asks how they met. Landon starts talking, but the President says, no spin. He wants to hear it from Canace. Candace says they met at the hotel. She was studying in the lobby while she was waiting for her room. She walked over, and said hello, not knowing he was running for President. He had his hat pulled low, and said, hi… Charles finishes, I don’t need another drink. Candace says he thought she was a waitress. Then a guy tried to hit on her, and he came to her rescue. They started talking, have been together ever since. They President says, it’s getting late. They should wrap it up. He thanks them for coming, and tells Candace that she’s lovely. On his way past Candace’s chair, he whispers that she’s a hot piece of Black ass. Candace asks if there’s a restroom, and Margaret shows her the way.

David asks why Madison is so late. Madison says he had to take a cab. He’s having car issues. David is on edge, and Madison asks if he’s in pain. David says, always, but Madison sees he’d been drinking, and can’t give him something. David asks if he knows where Jeffrey is, but he says he doesn’t. David asks Madison to call Jeffrey now. He gets voicemail, and David says call from his phone.

Justin brings the food out. Jeffrey’s phone rings, but Justin tells him not to answer. Jeffrey says he needs to make sure his dad is okay. Justin gets pushy, and asks for the phone. He grabs it, and says, look; it stopped ringing. It’s okay. Can they please have a nice dinner? He’s been through a lot, and would like it to be just them. if it’s important, he’ll call back. Justin tells Jeffrey, dig in.

Madison tells David that Jeffrey still isn’t answering. David asks if he’s with that boy, but Madison says he doesn’t know. The last time he told David what Jeffrey was up to, Jeffrey got upset. He’s not getting in the middle of this. David says, so Jeffrey is with that boy. He’s dangerous. Madison says he knows, and David asks, how? Madison says Justin destroyed his car. He threatens and manipulates Jeffrey. David asks if Jeffrey is at Justin’s apartment. Madison tells David that Jeffrey said he was going there, and texted the address. He begs David not to tell Jeffrey. David tells him hurry with the bandages.

Charles tells the President that it was a great dinner. The President looks at him weird, and he says, sir? The President says, now that everyone is gone, he has something to tell Charles. They don’t like him, or Candace. They think he’s an arrogant a-hole who won be default. Even before he won, the party was planning his demise. He tells Charles, enjoy his four years. Margaret comes back, and says Candace is a gutter trash girl – God bless America. They leave, and Charles looks stunned. Landon comes in.

Some women walk past the restroom, and one says, he’s going to screw this country up. Another says, but at least he has a hot tart to screw. After they’re gone, Candace comes out of the bathroom. Landon asks if Charles is okay. Charles says, yeah, and suggests they get the hell out. Landon says it’s his new home, but Charles says, it’s not the place. The people left a foul taste in his mouth. Candace joins them, and he says, let’s get out of here.

Veronica finds RK in her living room, and tells him to get the hell out of her house. He says, fine, and starts to leave. He says he’s almost to the door, and she tells him, get to it. He says he’s not coming back, and she says, wait. He says he knew she didn’t want him to leave. She asks if he has her jewelry. He says that’s what he wanted to talk to her about. She says, if he doesn’t, guess what’s going to happen? He’s going to jail. He says he tried to get it back; he sort of sold it. She says, that’s his ass, and he says they’re better than this. She suggests he enjoy his last few moments of freedom. He says maybe he can work it off. He knows her fantasies and what she wants. He thinks it’s a good trade. She calls him a child. She says she’s a grown-ass woman, and he’s terrible in bed. He tells her, some people need to be taught. She says she asked him one thing, to get her son’s attention, and he couldn’t do that. He says that’s not him, and she says that’s not her son either. He knows she wants him all to herself. She asks if he wants breakfast, but remembering the grits, he says, no; he’s good. She says she told him to get her jewelry, but he says, they don’t got it. Veronica makes a call, and says she’d like to report a burglary. He says he can make her feel good. She says her husband’s coming back, and RK says they can give him a show. She tells the police, never mind, and says so she wants to be taught. She laughs.

The Attorney General asks the President if the guests have left. The President gets him a drink, and he asks if the President called her a hot piece of Black ass. The President says he should have seen the look on her face. The AG says he would have paid to see it, and the President says he should have come. The AG says, no. He wants to blindside the bitch who robbed him. The President can’t believe this is it. They had a good eight years. The AG says, not all of them, and the President says, every President has his thing.  The AG asks how he thinks the new administration will do, and the President says Charles is an arrogant snot-nosed kid. The party is ready to take him down, but he’s been pretty clean up until this. The sad thing is, he thinks Charles likes her. Why the hell else would he bring a whore into the dining room? The AG says they’ve all done it, but the President says, not before taking office. The AG says he can’t overlook what she did to him. The President says she has no idea who she pissed off. The AG says, no, she doesn’t, and she’ll regret it. He’s going to devastate that bitch whore, and take down the President Elect at the same time. They drink to the hell coming Charles’s way.

In the limo, Candace’s phone rings. She tells Charles, it’s her brother; she’ll call him later. Charles asks if she’s okay, and she asks if she embarrassed him when she was at the table. She heard them talking about her. Charles tells her, before they left, the President said he can’t stand Charles, and wants him to fail. She says, they seemed nice, but he says, they’re playing a game. Don’t fall into it. Rise above it. She says, when they go low, she goes lower, and they laugh. He says he needs her to keep him sane. She says she’ll keep him sane, all right, and he bets she will. She says she couldn’t leave him with those fools. He says she makes him so happy, and she tells him that he’d better remember that when she has to choke one of those ho’s. They kiss, and she asks if he’s done it in a Presidential motorcade. She doesn’t think he would, but he says there’s a lot she needs to learn about him. He tells the driver, the hotel.

Jeffrey tells Justin, the alfredo sauce is good. There’s an insistent knock at the door, and David tells Jeffrey to open it. Justin asks how he knew, but Jeffrey doesn’t know. Justin tells him, hide in the bathroom. To my surprise, he does. David continues banging, and I’m thinking, unless Justin clears the dishes, David will know someone is there. Justin opens the door, and David asks where his son is. Justin says, he’s not there, and David pushes past him. Justin says, coming in? and David says, damn right.

Justin says he’s been waiting for this moment, and puts a gun to David’s head. David asks what the hell he’s doing, and Justin says, breaking and entering. He’s got David now.

Next time, Wyatt hunts his family with a rifle, and Mitch tells Benny that his uncle will break Benny’s legs, and still want the money.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I heard LVP isn’t even in this episode. Why bother? Oh wait, I can make fun of Teddi. And Dorit. And…

Teddi tells Kyle, no glam squad. Kyle says, if a bear sees you, you have to be cute.

Harry wonders why LisaR is bringing ten pairs of shoes for one night. She says she needs a hair dryer, and he asks if there’s going to be electricity on the trail. She says the most important thing, and adds a bottle of wine. He tells her that she has a bag for three weeks. She says she’s totally prepared, just in case.

Teddi says being outdoors in LA means wearing full-face makeup and not being outdoorsy at all. LisaR says she’s nervous, but it’s good. In her interview, Kyle says she likes to be prepared. She has a machete, tick spray, and an epi-pen.

The women meet at Teddi’s. Erika is the first to arrive, followed by Kyle, who tells them that she got a text from PK. He said he was just joking around. She wishes Dorit had handled it better, instead of making excuses. She told him that she lets go of things easily, it’s done, and thanked him for the text. She doesn’t know if there will be residual feelings from Dorit.

In her interview, Erika says she’s been camping her whole life; she’s a tomboy. In Dorit’s interview, she’s hoping to enjoy the great outdoors, and not have any tension with Kyle on the trip. They get into the RV where there’s a spread waiting. Camille is the last to get there. In her interview, Denise says she’s heard Camille talk about the other women, and doesn’t think she’ll shut up during the trip. She wonders if it’s gong to be another trip where everything goes sideways, or will they have a good time?

Erika says she wanted to be a truckdriver or a Playboy bunny when she was young. The women are already freaking out about various aspects of being outside, and in her interview, Erika says, these chicks are having a meltdown, and they haven’t even left LA. They discuss sleeping arrangements, and stop at a grocery store for dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast. Teddi says all they need are hot dogs, hamburgers, and alcohol. LisaR suggests donuts, and Dorit says everyone is grabbing things like it’s Armageddon. In LisaR’s interview, she says they need the whole camping experience of food. She puts Cheetos in the cart. Denise asks if they think they’re good for one night, and the tab comes to over $600. In Teddi’s interview, she doesn’t understand, since they won’t even use half of it.

Ventura ranch KOA. Deer! Peacocks! LisaR says it’s way better than she expected. It’s like glamping. No kidding. Those tents are more like hotel rooms. I’m not sure why they even brought an RV. In her interview, Erika wonders if there’s a dead body in LisaR’s bag. Vanderpump? Edwin’s assistant Michelle has come along, although no one explains why. LisaR unpacks. She’s going to change since she has so many choices.

Beer Pong is set up. Erika feels a little old to be playing that, and goes for a massage. Yeah, real camping. No one seems to know how to play Beer Pong, even a little bit, although Dorit scores some points. In her interview Teddi says, for a woman who has a lot of opinions on stemware, Dorit knows her way around a Solo cup.

Teddi asks if Kyle regrets going to see LVP. Dorit doesn’t know why LVP is angry with her. Teddi says Dorit was the one LVP was originally angry at. It was her punishment. Erika comes back in a golf cart, saying she really needed that. Denise asks how her face looks so good. LisaR says she can’t afford to squish her face, even for a massage. Don’t they have an opening for your face in the table? Dorit says as far as LVP goes, LVP drew a line in the sand. She couldn’t have made it clearer. Erika says, if you want to be an a-hole be an a-hole. She cares about the women who showed up. She never bought it, and never will. That’s how she feels. IN her interview, she says it’s like the queen who shows you the apple. Want some? Kyle misses her, but Teddi says it was her choice. Dorit says she gave them a fait accompli. She made it clear. Erika says her life will be fine without that bitch. Sorry, but not really.

They go hiking, and Kyle says she has a phobia about ticks. In Kyle’s interview, she says she likes being in the outdoors, but her husband always tries scaring her, saying there will be bugs. She just doesn’t like spiders, snakes, or any kind of bug. She clicks some sticks together, saying it calls the deer, which is news to me. Climbing instructor Forrest meets them. They harness up and climb a fake wall in the middle of a park that probably has real walls to climb. Teddi, Dorit, and Erika go first. In Erika’s interview, she says Dorit looks like Spiderman, and she’s impressed. In Teddi’s interview, she says Dorit kicked her butt rock climbing. Camille tells them the harness is like a strap-on. In her interview, she tells us that she and her ex did kinky sexy play. It’s what we do for the people we love. I don’t. Kyle, Camille, and LisaR go next. Kyle doesn’t like heights, and wonders why she’s climbing a fake rock. Peer pressure is ridiculous. When she thinks how high up she is, she gets scared. In her interview, she says her entire body goes numb. We flash back to her hanging back from looking at a view from a tower and being in a sky car. Kyle has enough, and goes back down.

Dinner is prepared. LisaR gets a massage. Denise says she used to be a vegetarian up until a few months ago. In her interview, she says up until she met Aaron, she was a vegetarian. Lola was devested when she found out Denise ate meat, like she’d been doing drugs. Dorit tells them, plastic on the grill isn’t a good idea. Wow. Even I know that. In Dorit’s interview, she says, these girls don’t belong anywhere near a fire. They’re going to kill somebody, if not themselves. They make a mess of a hamburger that totally falls apart. Teddi comes back, tells them they’re fired, and finishes the grilling. LisaR returns, and can’t believe they’re already eating.

Kyle asks Camille how she’s feeling about the wedding, and she says she can’t wait. Denise and Erika can’t go, and she says LVP didn’t come to her bridal shower, so she doubts LVP is coming to the wedding. Teddi says she’s reached out and done what she can. If she really cares, don’t text. Call if she really wants LVP there. In Camille’s interview, she says Teddi is inserting herself into a conversation where she shouldn’t necessarily be involved. Teddi says, it’s Camille’s big day. and the people there should be there for her. In her interview, Camille finds Teddi being a know-it-all irritating. I think Teddi’s problem might be that she thinks she’s still at work when she’s with her friends. I find her irritating too, and if she tried to accountability coach me when I didn’t ask for advice, I’d be tempted to smack her.

Teddi builds a fire (sounds like a children’s book). Kyle calls her Grizzly Adams. Denise comes back from her massage, and they talk about happy endings. Denise says Aaron never had one, so they went on a hunt. Everyone is shocked, and Teddi says Denise has a fetish. What? I guess she even knows it all about things she doesn’t know. Denise says she doesn’t. Aaron was the only dude she knew who never had one. He was mortified. In Kyle’s interview, she says if anyone went near her husband like that, they’d lose an arm, and he’d lose an important appendage. In Dorit’s interview, she says, it will never happen, PK. In Teddi’s interview, she says, her husband’s happy ending would have a happy removal shortly afterward. Erika says she never heard Tom say he had one, but she knows he was a young man once. Because she’s an unfiltered moron, LisaR asks if Denise watched, and Denise says, no! nearly spitting out her drink. Kyle asks if Denise has had one. Denise says she has, but didn’t plan for it. It just happened. She says she’s feeling judged. In her interview, LisaR says, if that’s what your freak flag wants to do, fly it. Just don’t get arrested. Erika asks why everyone is acting like nuns. In Denise’s interview, she says Aaron might be upset that she revealed this information. LisaR asks, who else has secrets? Because this is just the venue you’d want to reveal them in. Camille says she was in a relationship for three years in NYC, and they had incredible sexual encounters. She then explains how to massage a prostate, and we’ll leave it at that. Dorit asks who wants a drink. At this point, me.

Camille says it seems better with Kyle and Dorit. Dorit says PK sent her a text, and she doesn’t think what he said was malicious. Once again inserting herself, Teddi says, not malicious, but deliberate. Dorit comes back with drinks, and Kyle says they were talking about PK and the other night. He sent her a text. Dorit says, in the beginning she said she appreciated how Kyle felt. She thought they were good. Kyle tells her, men say stupid sh*t sometimes. Well, that about sums it up. Is it time to go home? Teddi says, even if it’s not malicious, he’s covering his own ass. The backtracking didn’t go well. In her interview, Camille says, Teddi has an answer for everything. That’s what I mean. I’m not defending her at all – she’s annoying as hell – but it’s what she does for a living and can’t turn it off. Teddi thinks he was acting out because of how he felt about the whole situation. Dorit doesn’t think it helps to be unfair afterward. Teddi says it wasn’t about Kyle, but Dorit doesn’t think so. Camille agrees. She says Teddi is knowledgeable for her age, but inserts herself where she doesn’t belong. Teddi hates people who talk down to her. Camille says sometimes she inserts herself in conversations that have nothing to do with her. Like after PK made the remark to Kyle. We flash back to her doing that. Camille says, it upset Dorit. Teddi tells her, stick to the storyline. Does she mean stay in her lane? Stay on topic? What? It sounds like it doesn’t apply. Teddi says she doesn’t like to be talked down to. The way she says Teddi is young, is passive/aggressive. Camille tells Teddi that she said Teddi pushed herself into a conversation between two of them. She sat there with LisaR, acting like she knew everything. Camille thought it was inappropriate, and she’s a bit of a know-it-all. Teddi says she noticed Camille likes to talk out of the side of her mouth, but backs down when she’s face to face. I dunno. I think Camille thinks out loud while she’s making up her mind. Teddi says she just expressed an opinion. Camille says Teddi thought there was a conspiracy going on. We flash back to Teddi thinking practically the entire season was manufactured by LVP. In Camille’s interview, she says, if you know that much, you don’t have to tell everyone how much you know. Wow. She’s right. LisaR says, this was all created by someone else, and Camille says, it’s like a toxic wave. Kyle can’t lie about what happened, but she still cares about LVP. She chose not to be there. Dorit says she had a friend who said there’s no friendship, and doesn’t love her. We flash back to how things ended with LVP. Then she had Kyle saying she had never heard LVP talk about Dorit. Kyle says she didn’t mean it that way. Denise thinks they should go onward and upward. Teddi says she’s not even drunk, and Erika says she’s drunk for her age. Ha-ha! Okay, that was funny. LisaR says, the sad part is, she’s the oldest in the group right now.

It’s morning, and Teddi goes for a run. Kyle says she’s a nut. LisaR says she had a dream that Kyle got Portia a squirrel. We see clips of Kyle planting fake spiders in the other so-called tents, and slipping a stuffed rat into LisaR’s tent. In her interview, Kyle says she never went to summer camp. Camille joins them, and it’s dead silent while they drink coffee. In Teddi’s interview, she says she’s not going down that rabbit hole. Erika puts whipped cream on a pumpkin pie, and forks the pie, not bothering to slice it. In her interview, she says, it’s the breakfast of champions. She ruins this by then eating Cheez-Wiz on crackers. Blech. It’s time to go, and I honestly don’t get it all this for one night. Seriously.

Back on the road, Kyle says she wants to do research on happy ending places. Erika says they’re all invited to her show on Sunday. She knows Camille is getting married, and Denise is filming, but the rest of them can bring their husbands if they want.

In her interview, Kyle thinks it helps relationships to get to a deeper place when they go on trips. Laughing, arguing, sharing things in a different place. You’re not getting that at a cocktail party. The women talk about social media, and Kyle says Instagram has changed since the Kardashians. And the ideal body type is unreal. LisaR says, it’s not an easy time to grow up. When they were growing up, they had a mirror to deal with. Now, there’s social media pressure to be perfect. In LisaR’s interview, she says her girls had a rough time. More than anything, she’s tried to teach them how to love themselves, no matter how they look. Kyle wonders if there’s more pressure in LA and Hollywood, but the others don’t know if that’s true anymore. Erika says she looks at herself like art. A project where she creates what she wants.

They sing Kumbaya, and Denise laughs.

Next time, LVP gets her new kitchen, Camille asks LVP to come to her wedding, and a disaster happens at Erika’s show.

🐲 In Case You Live Under a Rock…

Or just got online for the first time in your life today.

On Game of Thrones, Tormund informed Jon that only a madman or a king rides a dragon. The Hound said Sansa had changed, and also said, I told you so, but with more words. Gendry asked Arya to marry him and be the Lady of wherever he’s from, but she said she was never a lady and never would be. He didn’t give her the option of being a dude, so…  Jaime and Brienne had sex. I guess we can all die happy now. Dany was worried about having everything taken from her. She told Jon to never tell another soul who he really is. Even though he didn’t give a flying, she said it would take on a life of its own, no matter how many times he bent the knee. She told him the truth would destroy them, and even though she’d never begged for anything, she was begging for this. Since they had her help in the dead battle, Dany wanted Winterfell to reciprocate by going against Cersei. Bron proposed a plan to Tyrion and Jon, Sam and Jon promised they were BFFs for life, and everyone set sail for King’s Landing. Missandei and Grey Worm held hands on the boat. When Tyrion told him eight people knew about Jon’s lineage, Varys said it wasn’t a secret anymore, but an affirmation. No surprise, Cersei was a step ahead, and (sounds like) Urine Greyjoy was waiting with his own boats. I’ve about had it with CGI dragon abuse though, since we lost Dracarys. Needless to say, Dany was both pissed and vindictive, and Missandei was also lost in the battle. Cersei said their message was well received, and the head Sparrow, or whatever he is, said the people were glad for her protection. Cersei told the Greyjoy dude, well done, and talked about the child they were having. Cersei wasn’t worried about Dany coming for her, and was holding Missandei prisoner. This highly pissed off Grey Worm, who’d probably grieved for her already. Varys advised Dany against revenge. He begged her not to destroy the city she came to save, and become what she’s struggled to defeat. She said her destiny was to save the world from tyrants, and she’d do it if she had to kill a million innocent people first. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was the gist. Fight for peace. Varys asked Tyrion who would make the best ruler, and Tyrion said Jon didn’t want it. Varys asked how he knew it wasn’t someone who didn’t want it, and said Jon has what it takes. Tyrion believed his queen would make the right choice. Tyrion said most people claimed they didn’t care who sat on the throne, but Varys said if the wrong person did, it could cost those people their lives. He was loyal to the people, as I’d always thought. He said, each of them had a choice to make, and prayed they chose wisely. Brienne said Jaime was better than his sister. He’s a good man, but he couldn’t save her. He said he pushed a kid out a window and strangled his cousin with his bare hands. He wasn’t exactly a good guy. He went off to help Cersei, negating his pending good guy status, but I’m wondering if he might not sabotage her instead. Hey, I can dream. When Dany went to Kings Landing, I fully expected them to toss Missandei’s head out the door or throw her from a tower, but old guy Queen’s Hand came out to meet Tyrion. It kind of reminded me of the negotiations on Million Dollar Listing. Tyrion was like, work with me, help me here, and old guy was like, I’m just representing. Tyron was like, forget this, and went past him to his superior. He said he knew she didn’t care about her people, and they hate her, so what’s the difference? She always loved her children though, more than anything. Her reign was over, but that didn’t mean her baby had to die. I said to myself, you know she’s never giving in, and she confirmed that by saying now was the time for Missandei’s last words. Missandei looked at Grey Worm, and Cersei, who can’t do her own dirty work, had the Mountain chop Missandel’s head off, blending my predictions as her body fell from the rampart. This pissed Dany off even more, but she didn’t put a curse on Cersei in Dothraki as we all would have. She just stomped away. Then The Omen singers sang over the end credits.

🏆 And the Award For Snarkiest Recap Goes To…

I love them.

https://betches.com/game-of-thrones-recap-youre-a-virgin-who-cant-drive/

❓ I Have Some Answers…

In discussing why this season of GoT might suck, two reasons given were, Jon got rid of Ghost and Jaime left Brienne for Cercei. One, maybe Jon thought Ghost would be safer staying behind and we’ve already lost enough animals, plus a giant, and two, how do we know? We know what Jaime said, but how do we know?

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/a27371693/game-of-thrones-season-8-sucks/

☕ The Infamous Coffee Cup…

Uh-oh. Someone is in trouble. Probably the stage manager.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/a27371261/game-of-thrones-starbucks-cup/

https://nypost.com/2019/05/06/games-of-thrones-accidentally-leaves-coffee-cup-in-episode/

Nope. It’s Sansa who’s in trouble.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/06/game-of-thrones-fans-say-sansa-stark-to-blame-for-coffee-cup-goof/

The final word.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/07/the-infamous-game-of-thrones-coffee-cup-wasnt-from-starbucks/

The best quote.

The latte that appeared in the episode was a mistake, a spokesperson for the cable network said in a statement. Daenerys had ordered an herbal tea.

💃 My Feeling Upon Finishing This…

That was a lot of TV.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

April 19, 2019 – A Package Comes For Doc, More Kiefer, Observed This Week, HAHN Return Date, a Heavenly Number of Quotes & Weekend Edge

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Nina meets Valentin at the MetroCourt, and tells him that she arranged a playdate between Aiden and Charlotte. Charlotte was amenable, and she’s glad Miss Tait didn’t diminish that part of her. She can’t help thinking about how Maxie and Peter believed Obrecht was blackmailing him. She asks what that’s about.

Maxie and Peter find Obrecht at Charlie’s. Maxie asks why she vanished before the results of the DNA test came in. Wasn’t she curious? Obrecht says she couldn’t bear to witness her niece’s broken heart when she found out Sasha wasn’t her daughter.

Sasha punches the heavy bag at the gym. Michael comes in and asks who’s face she’s imagining. She says, herself.

Laura looks at an article about Ryan’s hand being found. Elizabeth joins her, and Laura asks how Aiden is. Elizabeth gets a text, and says, Nina wants to arrange a playdate for Aiden and Charlotte.

Jordan sees Franco at the hospital. He asks how she is, and she says she’s getting used to her new routine of early morning dialysis. She asks about him, and he says he’s fully recovered. He’s hoping the discovery of Ryan’s severed hand means he’s no longer on the earth. She says the authorities are convinced of it, but it never hurts to be extra cautious. Franco says the upside is, now they can tell the difference between Ryan and Doc. Good point! Doc comes down the hallway, startling them.

Ava walks into her apartment, and sets the alarm. She hears someone in the hallway, and takes out her gun. She says she knows Ryan is out there, and tells him to show himself. It’s Curtis, who says, relax. She asks how long he’s been following her, and he says, not long. She tells him come in and explain himself. She asks, what’s going on? and he says he’s the protection her brother hired. Julian is worried about her. She asks if he’s afraid she’ll hurt herself or hurt Ryan.

Laura wasn’t aware that Charlotte and Aiden were friends, and Elizabeth says Aiden never said anything. Laura hopes it’s progress, and Charlotte is trying to get along with him. Elizabeth has the sneaking suspicion Franco had something to do with it. Laura says he’s invested in the boys. Elizabeth understands he has good intentions, but wishes he’d talk to her first. Is it too much to ask for full disclosure? Laura says, apparently so.

Doc tells Franco and Jordan that he has both hands. Jordan is glad Doc was released, but he says, Nora gets the credit. He was just clearing out his office. Franco asks if he’s going to practice elsewhere. Doc doesn’t know. He still has his license, and is waiting to see if he gets reinstated, but if there are patients that want to see him, he’ll rent a space. He continues on, and Jordan says she hopes Franco isn’t planning on leaving town. He asks how he ended up under investigation.

Obrecht tells Maxie not to worry. Nina will forgive her for running around with Peter, and planning to take away her daughter. Maxie says she’s already been forgiven, and Obrecht asks if Nina has finally seen Valentin for the liar he is. Peter says Nina and Valentin are more in love than ever. Obrecht says even after they exposed him? Maxie says, there was nothing to expose. The test proved that Sasha really is Nina’s biological daughter.

Michael has his turn on the heavy bag, and says Sasha can have it back, but she says she already had a great workout. She asks whose face is on it for him, and he says a guy who’s been messing with his sister. Sasha thinks that’s sweet, and he holds the bag for her while she gets in a few more punches.

Valentin tells Nina that Maxie and Peter made an assumption based on erroneous speculation. They couldn’t have known what happened with her and Cassandra. Nina says Valentin wanted to call the police, but she said no because of her record. They should have called. Now Obrecht is holding over her like a sword. Valentin says Obrecht isn’t turning her in. She’s just using it to get what she wanted from him. She’s sick and twisted, and not asking him for a favor if she can blackmail him. He says they have everything they can want; Charlotte, Sasha, and a bright future. He suggests they not look back in the shadows, but toward their wedding with their daughters. Nina says he found the child she thought she’d lost, who’s now in her life, and he has Charlotte. They have everything they want. It’s a dream come true, but dreams aren’t made to last. How can she erase the past when she thinks she’s only seconds away from the next heartache? Valentin says they have a bond that’s unique. The naysayers and critics will never get it. He takes her hands in his, and says, what they have is stronger than anyone knows.

Obrecht says, Sasha is actually Nina’s daughter and her niece? It’s truly miraculous. Maxie is glad for Nina’s sake, but since it’s not about Sasha, what secret is Obrecht holding over Valentin’s head? Obrecht doesn’t have the slightest idea what they’re talking about, but since they’re pestering her, she’s moving to another location. They’re interrupting her flow, but she’s grateful for the uplifting news. Outside, she flashes back to seeing Valentin at Madeline’s casket.

Laura tells Elizabeth, if only Doc had said something, she would have known they’d switched places, and could have avoided the devastating loss. Elizabeth says, it wasn’t malicious. Doc made a terrible mistake, but others have been forgiven for much worse. Laura says she was relieved when Doc’s case was dropped, and Elizabeth says, so was she. It would have been terrible if Doc went to prison for his brother’s crimes. Laura thought so too, but she doesn’t know how go forward. Their marriage is in limbo. Alexis drew up divorce papers but she couldn’t bring herself to sign them. It’s not just about her though. Lulu had a massive panic attack when she saw Doc with Laura at home. It’s part of why she suggested Lulu go away. Elizabeth says, Lulu is strong; she’ll get through it. Laura says, it’s a good place to heal. She’s never been more confused. Despite his mistakes, she still loves Doc as much as she ever did.

Franco asks Jordan what he did now, but she says, he’s not a suspect; just the opposite. She’s asking because the PCPD wants to acknowledge his help with the investigation. Because of him, they uncovered the truth, and the full extent of Ryan’s crimes. She tells him to be around next month, and he tells her to let him know the date. She says he did a great service, but doesn’t think he was heroic. They both know she dragged him kicking and screaming, and blackmailed him. She says, he got the job done, and they’re grateful.

Franco sees Doc at the elevator, and says, when Doc lands somewhere, let him know. Doc asks if he wants and appointment, and Franco says Doc got him more than any other shrink. Elizabeth reminded him of that. Doc says he left Franco open to Ryan’s lies and manipulation. No other shrink failed him like that. Franco says Doc helped him. He listened, offered insight, and never judged. He’s trying to follow Doc’s example. Doc says he’d welcome the opportunity to work with Franco again. Franco says he’ll think about it.

Ava says, so her brother took it upon himself to hire a bodyguard, and Curtis says, you’re welcome. She says, thank you, but no thank you. Curtis says Julian knew she was on edge, and if Ryan is still alive, she’s his number one target. It’s for her peace of mind. She has no doubt he’s excellent, but she has no intention of being followed around. She has to live her life. He says, or what’s left of it. What’s she doing with a gun? She says, so she can protect herself. He says, it’s smart to take precautions, but reverting back to her bad ways and giving Ryan vigilante justice, not so much.

Nina is worried that Obrecht knows a secret that can ruin them, and will do it again, but Valentin says she knows where her bread is buttered. And she has priorities. She wants to see James, and has to be on good terms with Maxie to do that. She can’t do that, and be blackmailing him. Nina says, it makes sense, but Obrecht rarely makes sense. She’s smart and unpredictable, and wants to tear them apart for no reason. Obrecht walks in, and waves.

Sasha tells Michael, good workout. He helps get the tape off of her hands, and asks if she’s sore. She says, a little. He rubs her hand, and she says, how about him? She rubs his hand, and he says, a little. She gets up, and says the last time they saw each other, she couldn’t get away fast enough. He asks if it was something he said, and she says, yeah. He asks if he did something offensive, and she says, no. He opened up wide about his ex, and she hasn’t been up front. He’s looking for someone in life whose honest like him, not like her. Michael gets up, and walks away.

Maxie tells Peter that Obrecht seemed unexpectedly surprised and relieved to find out Sasha is Nina’s daughter. Peter agrees, and Maxie wonders what she’s holding over Valentin’s head. There’s definitely something suspicious about him too. Peter doesn’t think so. Some things should be kept hidden. Maxie asks if they shouldn’t find out what the truth is, so Valentin doesn’t hurt Nina again.

Elizabeth tells Laura that she wouldn’t be with Franco if it wasn’t for her. She would have lost out on a loyal man who adores her and the boys. She knows at its core, Franco’s heart is in the right place. What it comes to is, who is the man at his core? Laura says she’s right. The fundamental man is what matters most. Elizabeth has to go, but tells Laura that she saw Doc earlier at the hospital. He was cleaning out his office. She thinks moving is going to be tough. Laura thanks her, and makes a worried face. Since Griff is no longer around, Laura definitely makes the best one.

Ava tells Curtis to let Julian know she fired him. She has no need of his services. Curtis says, technically, she didn’t hire him, so she can’t fire him. She says she can make it impossible for him to do his job; call him out, blow his cover, tell the cops he’s stalking her. He doesn’t doubt she can drive him crazy, but he was there when she saw Kiki in a body bag. He’ll never forget it; it broke his heart. He’s sorry for her loss, and would like to help. She says he can help by getting the hell out of there. He goes to the door, turns to look at her, and leaves. Ava takes out her gun, and says, come on, Ryan. Come and get me.

Michael returns to Sasha, who says she thought she’d run him off this time. He says he went to the ice machine, and puts some on her hand. He says she’s not being clear, and she says he values honesty, and there have been times in her life when she’s been less than. Michael tells her not to beat herself up. He just offered to buy her a drink, not get married. She says she wanted to close any doors before they opened to avoid any… whatever. He say hypothetically speaking, if she doesn’t regret the untruth she told, is it possible she might like him, or is that what she’s lying about? Sasha says she’s not lying about liking him. She’d never lie about that.

Maxie says Valentin lobbied for Peter to retract his statement. Why do it without leverage? Peter says he knows Valentin would want to protect Nina. Maxie says, that’s how the DNA test started, and Peter says, and now look how it turned out. They’re just starting to rebuild their relationship. Maxie says, if Sasha hadn’t intervened, she’d still be tiptoeing around Nina. Peter thinks she should stop trying find something. He wouldn’t mind not spending their downtime waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maxie is afraid it will drop on Nina first, but Peter says, she’s a big girl. She knows who she’s remarrying. Let her be happy. Maxie wonders how he can say that, when Valentin caused him so much pain?

Valentin says Nina should suck it up for James’s sake, but she says she’s not there yet. Obrecht says she saw Maxie and Peter. They told her the good news. She’s relieved and happy. Nina says, is she? Does Obrecht really care about her? She walks off, and Obrecht asks if Valentin would care to explain the hostility. She’s sure it’s his doing. He says she’s rightly assuming that, since she was blackmailing him. She says how would she do that without leverage? Sasha passed another DNA test that proved she’s Nina’s daughter. How did he arrange that?

Curtis meets Jordan in that new cellar-like café. Curtis says Ava is on to something. When she said she doesn’t believe Ryan is alive, she doesn’t just believe it, she’s hoping he is. Jordan asks, why? He says a serial killer got her to fall in love with him, and murdered her daughter. What’s she going to do? Wait for him to be brought to justice, or seek it for herself? The only problem is, if Ryan is still alive, how did he survive without a hand? There was mad blood loss, the risk of infection, and he had to be weakened. Jordan says, he had help, but if he did, they’re probably dead already.

Franco arrives at Ava’s apartment, and asks why she needs to see him. She says she needs a boyfriend, and he’s the perfect man. He says they did that. It didn’t work out then, and it won’t now. Besides, he’s married. She says he’ll just be posing. Putting on a show to lure Ryan out. Franco says, the last time, he got stabbed for his trouble. She says it just needs to be convincing enough to make Ryan jealous. Lure him out of hiding, and into a trap. He says a presumably dead serial killer, and she says they can make him pay. Finally and forever. They can do this for Kiki.

Doc thanks Elizabeth for whatever she said to Franco on his behalf. She says his mistake doesn’t negate how he helped Franco. He made Franco whole, and she’ll always be grateful. She hopes things work out for him. He goes to the elevator, and Laura comes out. She heard it was moving day. He says he’s clearing out his office to make room for his replacement. She says no one can replace him. He says, apparently Ryan did. He can’t forget, the hospital sure can’t, and he’s certain she can’t either. She says, no, but she can put it in perspective.

Peter doesn’t want Maxie to have a grudge on his behalf. He doesn’t want revenge on Valentin, and neither should she. Maxie says Anna put him up for adoption, doing what she thought was best, and finding a loving home. Valentin wrecked it by giving him to Faison. Peter says he also instantly regretted it. If not for Valentin, his father would have tangled up his destiny. His father was evil, and now he’s dead. He prefers to leave the past in the past, where it can’t hurt him.

Obrecht asks Valentin, if the DNA test was positive because Sasha is really Nina’s daughter, why was he standing over Madeline’s coffin? Perhaps Nina should hear about it. He says she’s brave, but slow to appreciate the gravity of her situation. As long as he and Nina happy, she’ll be happy. When they’re not happy, all bets are off the table.

Franco tells Ava, it’s a fantastically terrible idea. She says, fantastically brilliant. Ryan is already jealous of him. Imagine if he found out Franco had taken his place in her bed. He says, not happening. She says Ryan murdered her daughter, and she won’t rest until he’s dead. He tells her, find another patsy. God help them – and her.

Jordan tells Curtis that she checked all of the doctors in the area. Curtis says maybe it’s someone other than. She says they checked within a hundred mile radius. He says he got a text that pointed him in the right direction.

Laura says when she found Doc at Ferncliff, even when the situation was deeply terrifying, she was also overcome with a sense of joy, because realized the idea that he’d stopped loving her was a lie. He’s a sweet man, patient with her precious grandchildren, and took a bullet for her. That man is still around. The one who she loved, and still loves. He says he never stopped loving her. She says maybe this is the place they can start over. They kiss.

Maxie thinks it’s great that Peter has made peace with Valentin. She underestimated him. She didn’t know he was so evolved. He says don’t give him too much credit. Valentin is in a prison of his own making. If he’s lying, he’s living in fear that Obrecht will tell Nina. Maxie asks if he thinks it’s worth it to ask Obrecht. He says not on his account. He doesn’t care; that’s the point. There are consequences. He had rage for his father, and he paid the price. She and Nathan did. He can’t go back to that life. He knows true happiness; moving forward with her.

Obrecht says Peter and Maxie worked in Valentin’s favor. Why the powerplay? Unless he’s keeping a secret. He says she should be asking how she can keep Valentin happy. She has far more to lose than he does. He walks out.

Michael puts ice on Sasha’s hands, and asks how she’s feeling. She has a question first. She wants to apologize for running out at the bar; it was rude. He says, accepted. What’s the question? She asks if he thinks they can still be friends. She doesn’t need… whatever, but she could use a friend. Something uncomplicated, a have a hit at the heavy bag friend. He says he’s completely on board. An uncomplicated friendship.

Which they immediately decide to complicate by getting busy. Surprising everyone with an unexpected song part.

Elizabeth asks if Franco knows anything about a playdate between Charlotte and Aiden. Franco says he told her that he went to see a friend. He explained what was going on to Nina. Knowing that Charlotte was a pint-sized influencer, he said he thought if she became friends with Aiden, the other kids would fall in line. He knows he should have run it by her first. She says, maybe he should have, but she’s discovered she loves him for making their life better and, boneheaded husband that he is, she’s glad he’s all hers.

Ava calls Scotty, and asks him to come over. She’d love to see him.

Curtis tells Jordan, if Ryan is alive, he would need things like bandages and painkillers. He put his feelers about to pharmacies up north, and got a hit. Shortly after Ryan disappeared, a pharmacy near Niagara Falls was burglarized. They never caught the perp.

At the hospital, a messenger comes with a package for Doc. Doc asks who it’s from, and he says, it’s from someone named Chamberlain. I’m guessing it’s the hand.

On Monday, Scotty asks what plan Ava is cooking up; Shiloh tells Jason the more Sam trusts him, the closer they become; and Laura freaks out at what’s in the box. Yep. It’s the hand.

🚑 Kiefer Confirm…

The experts validate that Alexis confessed. Again I ask, where’s the leverage?

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-kiefer-bauer-170471?utm_medium=email&utm_source=SailthruHorizonDaily&utm_content=16637058&utm_campaign=ABCsid_ed_Newsletter_SweepsOptin%202019-04-19&utm_term=Master_ABCsid_sweeps-editorialgnups

👀 Some Observations From This Week…

There has been some internet brouhaha about throwing a piece of cheese on a toddler’s head, to see the reaction when it sticks. Apparently, some people are concerned it will traumatize the kid for life. Highly doubtful. I’m sure there are also PETA members crying out because people are throwing cheese at dogs’ heads. Dogs definitely won’t be traumatized, and will eat the cheese. Maybe these toddlers can learn from the dogs. One time when I spit baby food at my father, he checked to make sure my mother wasn’t looking, and threw a spoonful back. Or so I heard. And none of my problems come from post-traumatic baby food throwing.

A large portion of Mexican Dynasties has focused on Adan’s musical career, and how wonderful his family thinks he is. There seems to be only one person (Doris… I think) being sensibly minded, and saying they’re not being objective. He’s just not that good. It’s not that he might not become that good, but he’s not going anywhere right now. He’s a mix of a second rate Back Street Boy, and a poor man’s Ricky Nelson. He needs both training and to come into this century.

I watched If There Be Thorns last weekend, and Heather Graham hasn’t changed since she was Roller Girl in Boogie Nights. Is it a great plastic surgeon? Amazing genes? A deal with a witch? What?

I saw two email subject lines this week that were of concern. One was – Gucci for Kids. I don’t even own anything from Gucci. Okay, maybe a pair of sunglasses, but I wasn’t seven when I got them. And the other – Prom Anxiety Text Line. I’m sorry, but can kids deal with nothing among their circle of IRL friends anymore? Have they become so socially inept, they need to consult a phone hotline because they got a zit on prom day or their hair is flat? What happened to Glamour magazine?

📺 The Haves and The Have Nots will return on Tuesday, May 7th. It doesn’t look too promising for Derrick with the lion tattoo. I almost threw up at that reveal.

📟 Quotes of the Week

Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground. – Theodore Roosevelt

Love does not dominate; it cultivates. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering. – Winnie the Pooh

Prepare children for the real world, not the one you wish them to have.Dr. Phil

Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. – Stella Adler

That doesn’t just go away.Jax Taylor, when asked if he’s still into sucking toes

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.Andy Warhol – or maybe time just passes as things change.

🎆 The New Weekend’s Here!

HappyEaster4

I don’t know if it’s glory I’m on the edge of, but catching up on sleep, definitely.

March 19, 2019 – A Sad Prognosis, a Tattoo Revealed, the Shed Burns, Postponing More Puppygate, TV Glimpses & Same Time

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

🏃 A lot of TV ground to cover today.

General Hospital

Alex sips at a to-go cup – that actually seems like it has something in it. Brava! She’s been so desperate for tea. She asks who brought it. She’d like to think it was her sister because she cares, but believes it’s Finn. Since he doesn’t know how she takes it, she presumes it’s the way Anna likes it. Finn says it’s their attempt to humor her, and she says consider her humored. She can’t ask for any more – except her sight back. Anna says not until Alex tells her what she needs to know.

Elizabeth asks how Franco is feeling, and he says, feeling ready to get out. He’s wondering where he’s going. She knows what she wants to say, but she’s not sure she can say it.

Josslyn, Cameron, and Oscar look at pictures from the trip. Cameron shares pictures of the gas station from when he took the bus back. They laugh.

Kim thanks Terry for going the extra mile for Oscar. Terry tells Kim and Drew that she’ll let them know when the test results come in. Julian joins them, saying, reinforcements have arrived, and hugs Kim.

Dante tells Sonny that he can’t leave; Raj will kill Sonny. Sonny says, don’t give him a chance. Dante needs to kill him first. Just trust him.

On the house phone, Carly asks, how bad is it? Send her up. She lets Ava in. Ava asks where her daughter is. She demands to see her right now. I guess she’s becoming a drunk.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she keeps going around and around, saying same things. It’s one thing to love him, and another to tell herself that loving him means being disconnected from his history and the things he’s done. Every time something bad happens, his past is thrown in her face. She’s a grown woman, and made the choice to be with him, but she’s also a mom. Right now, the boys know Franco is doing the right thing, and their faith in him is justified, but it doesn’t change what they went through. She hates it, and feels selfish to put kids through anything because she wants him. She misses their life together. He says he just loves her, and she says she just loves him too, but she has to keep the boys first. She has to do what’s best for them, but doesn’t know what that is. She’s sorry. She knows he wants it settled. Franco tells her to take as long as she needs. She leaves.

Cameron shows Oscar and Josslyn a picture of the bus driver, and a guy who snored the entire way back. Josslyn gets a text, and says, no way. Her team has been invited to a volleyball tournament at Duke. Only fifteen teams are invited. College recruiters are going to be there; it’s so major. Oscar says, they can make it another road trip. When is it? She sees the date is at the beginning of April, and says let her check with her mom before they make plans. Her mom is her manager these days.

Drew says he’ll leave them to it. Julian gives him an empty coffee cup, saying it’s better than the stuff they serve there. Drew gestures with the cup in his hand, like none of us would do with a full cup. Back to square one. He walks off, and Julian asks, what’s the latest? Kim says they’re in a holding pattern, and Julian says it must be frustrating. Kim says she’s terrified for it to end.

Ava calls for Avery. Carly says if Avery was there, she would be sleeping, but she’s not there. Ava tells her, don’t lie. Carly asks if Ava thinks she’d let her in the house like this if Avery could hear her. She’s wasted; stumbling, slurring her words. Go home and sleep it off. Ava says, not without her kid, and Carly repeats she’s not there. Ava says she’s the mom, and has a right to know where her daughter is. Carly says she’s at the Quartermaine’s with Michael. She baked cookies with her cousins and feell asleep in the nursery. Ava starts to go past Carly, who asks where she’s going. Ava says, where does she think? Carly says, no way.

Alex feels for Anna. It’s not easy. To actually believe something happened to her that didn’t must be unnerving. Finn says Alex has a gift for understanding. She heard they’d improved the process, and an entire lifetime of memories had been transferred from Patient 6 to Patient 5. This was only a minor transfer. Anna says it’s not minor to her. Tell her what she needs to know, or remain in darkness. Alex thinks Anna might want to lighten up in front of her boyfriend. Being cold and demanding doesn’t put her in a good light. Finn thinks Anna is perfect. Spit it out. Alex doesn’t want it to be more unpleasant than it has to be. The truth is, as much as she loves Anna, she doesn’t trust her.

Dante tells Sonny, this is risky. Sonny says, it has to work. Dante is needed at home. There’s been an unexpected development, and Dante asks if it’s a good one. Sonny wants it to be; Carly is pregnant. Dante laughs, and says Sonny and Carly are having another baby? Sonny says that’s why they have to make the plan work. Dante says, and get him the hell out. Sonny can’t imagine what Dante went through. Dante says he can’t even imagine it.

Drew brings Franco the coffee. He asks how the recent hero of Port Charles is, and Franco says he’s not so sure about that. He wants to hear about Oscar, but Drew says they’re waiting to hear back about the tests. Franco tells Drew to let him know if there’s anything he can do. Drew says, just get out, but Franco isn’t sure where to go.

Cameron says, not to be heavy, but he’s glad he’s with them. They’re the only ones he can trust. What does he do now that Franco is a hero. It wasn’t okay when his mom started dating Franco, and he still thinks the best thing would be for her to unload the guy. Josslyn says, it’s not the ideal situation, but it’s not his decision. Oscar asks if Cameron has talked to his mom, and actually told her what it’s been like. Cameron says she doesn’t care, but Josslyn says, that’s not fair. His mother loves him. Cameron says she doesn’t know half of what happened; the things people were saying. Then there’s Franco. He says he loves them, but if that’s true, wouldn’t he see how much he’s hurting Jake and Aiden, and bow out? Josslyn says, it’s really hard. She knows Cameron thinks he knows what’s best, and he probably does, but all he can do is be there for his brothers and love them. He has a shopping bag with something in it for Franco from Jake and Aiden. Josslyn says they really love him, but Cameron says, loving him won’t change how anyone sees him, and leaves.

Julian says Kim hasn’t touched her food. Kim says she’s not really hungry. She asks if he’s reached Ava, but he says she’s not returning his calls, and no one is home. Kim suggests maybe Ava needs alone time. Julian says something tells him that’s the last thing she needs.

Carly says the Quartermaines won’t let Ava past the front gate. And does she want Avery to see her like this? She’ll be scared and confused. Wait until morning. Ava says, if at all, right? Carly must be so happy. She’s the big winner. Ava couldn’t have given her a better present if she tried. Carly says she’s not doing this. Ava wants Carly to punish her, saying she’s hateful and awful, and not fit to be a mother. She came there looking for it, and to feel sorry for herself. Carly isn’t playing the self-pity game. She thinks it’s torture. Ava shows up with drama, drunk; railing at anyone who will listen. It’s not about Avery; it’s about her. She’s hiding behind how she alienated Kiki and treated her like crap. Ava says Carly left out the best part. She alienated Kiki, treated like crap, and wound up sleeping with her killer.

Drew asks what Franco means. He’s going home to Elizabeth and the kids. Franco isn’t sure that’s what Elizabeth wants. Cameron shows up, and Drew tells Franco, it’s all going to work out. After he’s gone, Cameron hands Franco the bag, saying it’s from Jake and Aiden. They asked him to bring it. Franco says, even though he didn’t want to?

Drew asks Elizabeth how it’s going. She asks if he just came from Franco’s room. Now he’s going to tell her to let him come home? He says he’s not telling her to do a damn thing, but he is going to say this. If memory serves him right, didn’t they used to be together? Despite it not working out for obvious reasons, he can say from personal experience, when he was lost, having her support and love got him through what was, at the time, the most difficult period. Drew would like to think there’s still some good in himself, despite his troubled past. It’s the same with Franco. He was forced into an impossible situation, but he got a killer off the streets. At least she knew she was right. She can trust him and love him, and trust the kids to love him. She asks how he knows that. He has no idea, but he does.

Carly tells Ava that she wasn’t going there. Ava says she slept with the man who murdered her daughter. Carly says she can’t fix that; no one can, but she can shield Avery. She tells Ava not to drag Avery down while she spirals out of control. It doesn’t have to be that way. Pull herself together, and step up. Or is wallowing in self-pity so important? Ava thought Carly would encourage anything to take Avery away from her. Carly says she would use it in a heartbeat, but not to be vindictive; to protect Avery. Does Ava want to be someone Avery needs to be protected from? She tells Ava, stop being a coward. Does she hear herself? This can’t be the life she wanted. Ava says Carly’s got her there. Taking up with the man who killed her daughter was not on her list of things to do. She cries, saying she doesn’t know what to do, or how to deal with it. She begs Carly to tell her what to do.

Ava says Kiki was so kind, good, and compassionate. She thought everyone deserved a second chance. More, in her case. Does Carly have any idea how many times Kiki forgave her? And how did she repay that? By complaining, and ranting to Ryan about her; all the times Kiki betrayed her. She told him that she fantasized getting back at Kiki. He did what he thought she wanted. It’s her fault Kiki is gone. She doesn’t know how to live with that; what to do with it. Carly says Ava is responsible for so many things, but not Ryan killing her daughter. She needs to stop, Carly tells Ava to call someone to get her.

Julian asks Kim if she remembers how she surprised him at Charlie’s. He’s come to think of it as the last good time before Josslyn called, and he realized Ava was eloping with a dead serial killer. He wishes he could go back and stop the clock. Kim does too. Julian’s phone rings It’s Ava, and he asks where she is. She tells him that she’s at Sonny and Carly’s, and asks if he can come get her. Everything is okay; just come. He says he’ll be right there, and tells Kim, sorry. HE has to pick up Ava. She asks if Ava is all right, but he doesn’t know. He asks her to keep him in the loop about Oscar. Kim hopes Ava is okay.

Drew tells Kim, the results are in.

Franco asks how Cameron is doing with all this. Cameron gets why he lied, and why he did what he did. He knows Franco has changed, but what Franco did before his brain tumor was removed keeps coming back to bite him. It also bites Cameron’s mom, his brothers, and him. He can take care of himself, but Jake and Aiden can’t. Franco hates that they were hurt by what he did. Cameron knows, and says he’s not fighting Franco again. Franco thanks him, saying he promised to prove himself. It’s just going to take longer than he thought. Cameron hopes he’s right, and Franco says he will.

Dante tells Sonny that he told himself it was just a job, and he’s still hoping that’s the case. He needs to get out, get home, and go back to his life. Sonny says, it will be an adjustment. Dante says the things he’s seen and experienced, the memories will fade and he’ll be the man he was. The man his family needs him to be. Sonny says whatever Dante saw or did, lock it away. Don’t put it on the people he loves. Dante knows that works for Sonny, and hopes it works for him too.

Alex says Anna is a stickler for law and order. Anna says tell her about the memories, or she doesn’t get the cure. It’s that simple. Alex asks if it’s that simple for Finn. He says he’d be happy to help, and Alex says, but on her sister’s terms. Finn says, correct. Alex says Anna doesn’t get to make the terms; she does. She’ll tell Anna what parts of her history aren’t hers, her cure will be guaranteed, and she gets to walk away. No WSB nonsense, no prison time, nothing. Take it or leave it.

Julian arrives at Sonny’s, and asks, how bad is it? Carly says, she’s asleep, and tells Ava that her ride’s there. Julian wakes her. He says he was worried about her, not answering his calls. Where has she been? Ava says, remember how happy she was? She was going to be a blushing bride at last. Julian asked if he really loved her for who she really is. He knew her, all right, but she didn’t know him at all.

Elizabeth goes to Franco’s room. He asks her if she wants a cookie, and she says the boys pulled out all the stops. He shows her a drawing Aiden did, and asks if she’s going to tell him. She says Jake and Aiden see him as a stepfather. A father who’s been there for them in a way their own fathers couldn’t be. He holds a special place in their lives. What is she supposed to do, rip Franco away from them? She doesn’t want that for the boys or herself. They’ll all be miserable. The fact is, she’s so in love with him. He says he’s so in love with her. So now what?

Kim, Drew, and Josslyn wait with Oscar in his room. Terry comes in, and tells them, the tumor has grown. We all become seriously bummed. Kim says CAT scans have a margin of error, but Terry says she ran multiple tests. There’s no doubt. Drew says, okay. What about Oscar’s recent seizure? Terry says, he could have another one at any moment. Most likely, it will be more severe and debilitating. Oscar asks how much time he has. Terry says she’s not lying. Realistically, a month to six weeks.

Franco tells Elizabeth, they love each other, and when you open yourself to love, scary storms might come, but they can weather them together. He can’t proms there will never be another storm, but he can promise he’ll never hurt her intentionally. She promises the same, and says, so come home, He’s her husband, and she loves him. Please come home. They kiss. Thank God. At least we got a little happiness balance after the news about Oscar.

Finn says Alex can be treated within the hour. Alex asks if Anna guarantees she’ll be a free woman, and Anna says, fine. Alex asks if that’s a promise, and Anna says, yeah, a promise. Alex says she’ll tell Anna then, as long as she truly wants to know. Would it really change so much, knowing that it happened to Alex instead? Take her part as host and move on. Anna says, whatever it is must be bad. Alex is stalling. Anna wants to know because she’s done a lot of things she regrets. It’s burden enough to carry her own mistakes. She’d rather not carry Alex’s.

Terry is sorry. She wishes she had better news. Oscar asks for a minute alone with his mom, and the others leave. Kim says he doesn’t have to be strong for her. He wants to thank her. When it was just the two of them, he knows how hard it must have been for her. She says being his mother was, is, will always be her greatest happiness. Whatever is in him, whatever courage he has, and what good he does in the time he has left. He says, everything he learned about life and death is because of her. Everything he is, is because of her. She says, no, and he wipes away her tears. She says, it’s not. It’s because of him. She loves him so much. She’s so incredibly proud of the young man he’s become. His poise and grace. She loves how empathetic and compassionate he is. How he makes her laugh. She can’t take credit for all of that, but he can, because it’s him. She’s incredibly grateful to be a part of it. He says he’s scared, and she says she is too. She hugs him. God this is sad. He says he loves her so much. He doesn’t want to leave her.

Sonny tells Dante, be strong. It will be okay. Him, Lulu, and the kids will work it out. If they want to pull this off, he can’t be found there. Dante says he’ll make sure everything is right. He’s sorry he shot Sonny, but Sonny doesn’t think Raj gave him a choice. He had it coming anyway. Dante says, because Sonny shoved him? He’s lucky he’s still alive. Dante starts to leave, and Sonny says he loves him. Dante says he loves Sonny too.

Julian says he’ll get Ava home. Ava tells Carly that she probably said too much. She’ll use it to keep Avery away from her. Carly isn’t saying she’ll ignore it, but if Ava gets herself together, Carly won’t use it against her. Ava says, wow.

Tomorrow, Chase asks Willow to go away for the weekend, Kristina tells Shiloh that she’s ready for the next step, and Dante says he had no other choice.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Hanna thanks Jesus, and says the Lord heard her. Benny says Candace will be all right. Hanna says she just kept praying, and tells Benny, you gotta believe. Benny says Candace is finally all right. Hanna remembers she left Derrick in the kitchen. Benny offers tell him to leave, but she tells him, stop. Benny hopes the Lord hears him about Derrick. Hanna tells Derrick she’ll be back in a few, and tells Benny, leave that man alone.

Benny’s phone rings. It’s Mitch. Benny asks if Mitch talked to his uncle, but Mitch says he already told Benny that his uncle’s not letting him not pay interest. In the meantime, it’s his problem to figure out. Benny asks how he’s supposed to get twenty grand. Mitch doesn’t know, but he needs to try. He tells Benny to stay his ass in the house until they figure it out. If by some miracle Mitch is able to figure it out and get the money, he wants Benny to know that he owes him.

Candace knocks on Charles’s door. He was beginning to worry, and asks, how was it? She says, it went good. For a moment, he was worried it wouldn’t go right. She asks why tell her to go? and he says, it needed to happen. She says he was right, and he’s like, what? Say it again. She does, and he likes it. He tells her that she should say it more often. She says Hanna was skeptical at first, then she started to really hear her, like she hadn’t heard before. Charles asks what she said, and Candace says, everything she wanted to. She thought Hanna hated her, but Hanna got on her knees and said she didn’t. Charles doesn’t think she ever did. Candace says Hanna received what she had to say, and it was beautiful. She also left her son’s ashes with Hanna. Charles takes her hands and kisses them. He’s so proud of her. Me too. He says she did amazing. Now he needs her to get ready for DC. She says she’s a natural beauty, and won’t take long. He says that she is, and she asks if he’s sure he wants her to go to the White House. He is and tells her, don’t ask again.

Veronica storms in, and yells to Alice for a drink. She remembers Alice is gone, and pours her own. She says he played her for a fool. David has followed her. She tells him, go away, but he says she left the door open. She asks why did he do this. He says he had no idea Wyatt was going to the grand jury, but she says he’s lying. He tells her to look at him, and put the drink down. She knows how she gets. He takes it from her, and says sit with him. She says, not there. It’s where he knocked her to the floor. He’s sorry. She says he knew he hurt her. He knew about that, and hit her anyway. He’s just sorry because his whore is dead. The both of them are dead. He says she took care of both of them, and she asks if he’s wearing a wire. He says he’s wearing a compression garment. She wants to see, so he lifts his shirt. She says he’s really hurt. She asks why he made her do it. He says he was wrong, and asks her to forgive him. She asks why he’s being nice. He says he’s the same David. He asks her to sit by the pool, and holds out his hand. She takes it. He holds her, and they go outside.

Landon tells Charles, she’s coming. Charles wonders if Candace knows the tax payers are footing the bill for the plane. Candace comes out. Charles smiles, and she asks if he’s ready for DC. Charles says, yes, they are, and tells her she looks beautiful. She does, but she always does even when she’s a mess.

Veronica doesn’t know how to talk to David. He says just talk to him. She says she’s not okay. He was using her so she would help him. He says, that’s not it, and she tells him, admit it. David says she’s brilliant and good to have on his side, but that’s not the reason. Veronica says he called her a simple bitch. He slept with Maggie, and slept with the little whore. He says, yes. He thought he was doing something, but she showed him that she’s the only woman he can be with. She says, yes, she is, and yes, she did. She has two things to tell him. One is that she hired that girl, Erica. She paid her to take David for all he had. She wanted him to fall for her. She was good. David agrees. Veronica asks if she broke his heart, but he says not nearly as bad as he broke hers. She asks if he’s angry with her, and he says, no. She wonders, what’s that look? and he says he’s in pain. His back burns. Veronica says it’s a reminder to never screw her over. He says he needs his bandages changed, and he’ll come back after that’s done. She says she’ll sit out there. She doesn’t think she can sit in the living room with him again. David says let him come back and show her how sorry he is. He leaves, and she looks crazy.

David punches his car, and says, evil bitch. He gets in, then gets back out and calls Jim. He says Jim needs to talk him down. He’s about to put an end to all this. Veronica set him up with Erica. Jim thinks he should have known that. David says Jeffrey told him, but she just admitted it. He needs to put an end to this madness. One more thing, and he’ll snap. Jim tells him, Veronica says a lot of things; let it go. David says, easy for Jim to say, and Jim asks if David has met his wife. David is tired of all this, but Jim says he needs to hold it together. Where is he? He says by his car. He told Veronica that he needed to have his bandages changed. He’s about to lose it. Jim tells him to get them changed, get a stiff drink, and do everything he needs to keep this woman on their side. David says he may need call him again. Jim says he’ll let David know if he hears anything from the DA’s office. David gets back in his car.

Kathryn finds an empty pill bottle, and says, damn it! She goes downstairs, where Jim watches the news/ She can’t believe he’s watching TV at a time like this, but he says he’s trying to get some idea of George’s plan. She tells him that Wyatt went in her medicine drawer, and took all her pain and cold medication. Jim asks why she has pain meds in the house, and she says because she’s married to a pain in the ass. On the TV, Jim hears Candace is with the President Elect, and the internet is abuzz whether she’s the next First Lady. Jim says, what the hell? The news continues, saying Charles lost his wife during the midterm elections, and has two beautiful children. Jim says if she thinks this is going to work, she’s sadly mistaken.

Jim tells Wyatt to come down. Wyatt has nothing to say, but Jim tells him, get his ass down there or he’ll come up and drag it down. Wyatt comes down, and Jim tells him to sit. Does he understand the situation he’s gotten them into is ugly. Wyatt says he did it himself. Jim says, no; Wyatt did when he called the DA. Wyatt says he’s not dealing with this. Jim asks if he’s high, and Wyatt asks how would he get high? Jim frisks him, and pulls out some pills. He says Wyatt got into his mother’s medicine stash, and Wyatt says, so what? Jim throws the pills, and says he’s sick and tired of everything about him. Jim’s phone rings. He asks why his calls aren’t being returned, and says this isn’t a game he wants to play. Kathryn comes down with an empty bottle of valium. Wyatt goes back upstairs, telling Jim, go to hell. Jim has had it with Wyatt, Kathryn, and these damn pills. Kathryn says if he wasn’t there, she wouldn’t need to take them. Jim starts to go upstairs, and she tells him not to go up there angry

Jim finds Wyatt lying on his bed. Jim says Wyatt took more of his mom’s pills, and he pulls him off the bed. He shakes Wyatt, telling him, spit it up. Wyatt asks if Jim is trying to kill him. Jim says Wyatt is going to kill himself. Wyatt says he’s going to shoot them. He’s going to load the shotgun, and blow their brains out. Kathryn asks, what shotgun? Jim tells Wyatt to get his sorry ass in the shower and sober up. Wyatt says he’ll see. Jim says, do it. Go ahead. He will have completed one task in his miserable life. Wyatt says he hates Jim so much, it makes his heart bleed. Jim says he loves Wyatt so much, it makes his heart bleed. Touch one more drug… He walks out, and Kathryn follows.

Wyatt paces. He pantomimes shooting the shotgun, saying, die.

Benny asks if Hanna is all right, and if Derrick is still out there. She hopes so. She just needs a minute. She says she wants Derrick there; she likes him. Benny says he was standing in the kitchen, staring into space. It looked like he was crying. Hanna says he must have heard their conversation. Benny says he’s trying, but doesn’t like him. Hanna says name one man she’s dated that he liked. He wishes he could find the dude who did that to her, but she says he’s probably dead or in jail. Nobody gets away with nothin’. It was a long time ago. She says he can keep Derrick company, but he says it’s never going to happen. She says, then don’t. Just give her a minute.

At the White House, Charles, Candace, and Landon are shown the Oval Office. The guide asks if it’s getting real, and tells them the President will be joining them. The First Lady will be with him. She asks if Candace enjoyed the tour. Candace says it’s a lot of history. She tells them to have a seat, and leaves.

Landon doesn’t like it. They didn’t want him to win, and the party doesn’t want him in the White House. Charles tells him, not now, and Landon asks how he’s so cool. Charles tells him to find somewhere to cool down, and he leaves. Candace says, they didn’t want him to win? and Charles says, political squabbles. She should look him up on the internet. She says she’ll think about it, and thanks him for bringing her. He says it’s pretty cool. He knew she’d get a kick out of it. She says she’s stealing all this sh*t. Maybe just one painting. She asks him to sit behind the desk, but he says it’s not appropriate. He says he’s not President yet. She tells him to stand by it. He does, and says, well? How does he look? She says it fits him. He knows. She asks, is he ready for this? He says, is she? She’s says she’s just visiting; he has to stay there. He says she doesn’t have to be just visiting. He wants her to stay. She asks, how long? and he says, forever. She says they haven’t knows each other that long, but he says, it’s a big house. She says, what if they end up hating each other? and he says, every day will be fun. She says she’ll think about it. They have time before he moves in. She asks if she can kiss him. Is it appropriate? He asks if she has any idea what has gone on in this room. Look up the other guy too. Landon clears his throat. He introduces the President to the future President. The President says he can’t wait to give it over to Charles. First Lady Margaret introduces herself to Candace, and says, it won’t work. She asks if they’re married, and Candace says, no. Margaret says, good. Candace is too beautiful to be First Lady. She doesn’t want Candace following her. The President says Margaret is as beautiful as the day he first met her. She says she’ll show Candace around. The President pours drinks for himself and Charles.

Jeffrey comes up to Justin’s apartment. Justin asks what Jeffrey thinks, and Jeffrey says, it’s nice. There are photos of Jeffrey everywhere, and he asks when Justin took them. Justin says he’s always taking pictures of Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he didn’t know Justin was there, and Justin says, now he does. He poured some wine, but Jeffrey says, no thanks. Justin says they could go out for dinner, or cook for the first time in their new place. Jeffrey says, no dinner, and Justin asks, why? Jeffrey says he was just checking to see if Justin was okay. Justin asks if he wants to sit on the couch. It pulls out. Justin can pull it out now if he wants. Jeffrey says, no, and Justin says at least take off his jacket. Jeffrey says he’s okay. Justin tells him to loosen up, but Jeffrey repeats he’s okay. Justin encourages him to drink, saying it makes sex better. It will help him relax; he’s so uptight. Justin is the one who got beat up. Jeffrey says this was a bad idea. He thinks he should go. Justin tells him, stop. Jeffrey says, the place is nice, and Justin says, our place is nice. Jeffrey says, no; it’s Justin’s place. Justin says he got beat up because of Jeffrey. The least he could do is hang around a while. Jeffrey says it’s getting old; Justin trying to guilt trip him. He doesn’t like it. Justin says he’s sorry. Jeffrey heads for the door, and Justin breaks the end off of a bottle. He holds it to his own neck, and says see what Jeffrey made him do?

Justin says he’s going to kill himself. Jeffrey tells him put it down. Justin says, then stay. If he doesn’t have Jeffrey, he has nothing to live for. Jeffrey says, put it down.

I find out the name of the dude from Too Close to Home is Scott, and the other guy is the Attorney General. Scott says he won’t believe this. She’s at the White House; Candace Young. Charles took her there as his date. He’s not kidding; they had dinner with the President. The AG says, it keeps getting better. He’s going to get the press on the phone and let them know who they’re dealing with. Scott calls the White House, saying it’s the Attorney General for the President, and hands him the phone. The AG apologizes for interrupting; he knows the President is entertaining. He guarantees the line is secure. He says they agree. Charles is an arrogant snot-nosed punk. He needs the President to say something to Charles’s date. Call her a hot piece of Black ass. It’s what he said the night she robbed him. Charles brought a prostitute to have dinner with him. He’ll come over, and fill the President in on their strategy. He hangs up, and tells Scott that it shows what a lowlife Charles really is. He needs Scott on a plane to Savannah. He needs to find out what he can. They’ve found their way in. Scott leaves on his mission.

Hanna tells Derrick, sorry. She was a mess. Derrick is bent over sink, crying. She asks if he’s hurting. What is it? She doesn’t know. Derrick lifts his shirt to reveal a lion tattoo. I say, oh my God, and wonder how Tyler Perry could do this to me. Hanna backs away.

Finé for now. HAHN returns on May 7th.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we last left, Randal and Alex were in a burning shed.

Kelly has hung herself in her cell. Lushion needs help a guy comes in and they cut her down. They take her out of the cell, and lie her down on the floor. Lushion calls for a medic; he has no pulse. He tells her, breathe, and does chest compression. He yells for a defibrillator. An officer brings it, and he uses it on Kelly, saying, not today.

The shed burns. Alex and Randal yell for help. Marcie sits outside, laughing, and smoking a cigarette. I love it! Alex breaks out the window, but that’s a bad idea. Smoke pours in. Randal tells Alex to move, and busts a hole in the door, but flames lick around it. Marcie runs to the front of the house, and says she got them. A couple is moving in across the street, and they’re like, whoa. The guy says it looks like Marcie is in trouble, but the woman says, don’t. She tells him to remember what happened before in their last neighborhood. It’s not their business. He thinks she’s having an episode, and says, this is their business. She says she’s not going through it again. Marcie dances around.

At the hospital, Doctor Raston sees Brad, and asks if he’s looking for her. He says he’s looking for Marcie. She wasn’t home, so he came back. The doctor hasn’t seen her. He says when he calls, it goes to voicemail. Doctor Raston says it’s going to be hard for her. She’s glad Marcie has him. Brad says she doesn’t have him. She knows he loves Alex, and has a therapist who can help. He says he and Alex aren’t getting back together. She understands, but she means for him. It’s a lot of pain to deal with. He insists he’s fine, but she doesn’t think so. He tells the doctor, if she sees Marcie, tell her that he’s looking for her. She leaves, and he calls again, but gets voicemail. He leaves a message that he’s worried.

Marcie is talking to herself. She runs across the street, and asks if she can borrow a phone. The guy says, sure, and she says she needs a cab. He asks if everything is okay, and she says, fine. The woman gives her a phone, and Marcie says her battery is dead. The guy asks if she’s sure everything is okay. Marcie says, it will be in fifteen minutes. He asks, why? She says she just ruined her life, and calls for a cab. The guy asks if that’s smoke, and Marcie says, it’s a barbecue. She lives there. He says it’s a lot of smoke, but she says, leave it alone; it’s fine. He says he’s a firefighter, and that’s no barbecue. He asks if that’s screaming.

He asks if someone is in there, and Marcie says, they’re almost done. I’m not sure what she means by that. Is she referring to them having sex, or done as in, the chicken in the oven is done. The guy gets the door open, and goes in. Marcie says, let them burn, and laughs. He brings Alex out, and asks if anyone else is in there. She shakes her head – I’m not sure why – and Randal yells. The guy brings him out, and calls for an ambulance. Marcie laughs, and kicks Randal. I laugh. Randal says he’s fine.

Lushion is talking with Steven, and Eddie asks what happened. He was just talking to Kelly, and she seemed in good spirits. Lushion asks what Eddie said, and Eddie says he was trying encourage her as a good Christian woman and mother. She’s facing the death penalty, and needed to mentally prepare to never see Justice again. He was trying to be kind. Lushion throws him up against the file cabinets. Steven separates them. Eddie tells Lushion to get his hands off of him. Lushion tells Eddie to lift his pants. Eddie says Lushion has to buy him a drink first. Steven says, lift them up. Eddie asks if Steven wants a ménage à trois, and Lushion says he’ll lift them for him. Eddie lifts his pants leg, saying, shoelaces. He didn’t hang that bitch. Esperanza comes in, and asks, what happened? Eddie says, Kelly went out Jim Crow style. She hung herself.

Esperanza says he’s disrespectful, and Eddie says her hooking up with that clown (I assume he means Steven) is disrespectful. She says the only clown in there is him. Steven tells her that Kelly attempted suicide. She asks if Kelly is all right, but he doesn’t know. She’s in the infirmary. Eddie is being all loud and stupid, and Esperanza throws a huge binder at his head, missing him by inches. He says, not the face, and she says next time, she’ll aim for it. Steven tells her not to pay attention. Eddie says Esperanza wants to be dominated, and he’ll never control her. Steven tells him, show some decency, and Eddie says, like how Steven ran up on his ex? He put that heifer out to pasture. When he meets a woman, he tells her she can go up or down ten pounds, and Esperanza got fat. Lushion tells her, ignore him. Eddie leaves, and Lushion says Esperanza knows as much as he does. She asks if she can go to the infirmary, but Lushion says they won’t let her. He needs to call Natalie. He tells Esperanza that he might need her to be with Natalie when she’s done with her shift. Lushion steps out to make the call. Esperanza hugs Steven, and Eddie knocks on the window. He’s the worst. It’s great.

Natalie’s phone rings. It’s Lushion. She asks, what happened? Was she right? He says, yeah. She tried to… Natalie says, don’t tell her. Say she’s all right. He says, they don’t know yet, but it’s okay. Natalie can’t believe it. She should have known. She thought Kelly was just upset. She can’t understand it. Lushion says they’ll get through it. Natalie asks if she can see Kelly, but Lushion says they don’t allow visitors in the infirmary. He tells her not to blame herself. Natalie says she has to do something to help her; it’s not right. Lushion says he’s not giving up. She asks what she should tell Justice, and he tells her, say nothing until they know she’s okay. He’ll see what he can find out.

Lushion calls Ian. He asks when Ian will be back. He asks Ian’s secretary to tell Ian that he called, and to call him back asap.

Doctor Raston sees that Brad is still there. He says he still can’t find Marcie. She’s not answering her phone, and she’s not in the apartment. The doctor asks if he wants her to try, but she also gets voicemail. Brad is really concerned. Doctor R says Marcie seems be a strong woman, but Brad says, every woman has a breaking point. She says, every man too. She thinks he should talk to someone. It’s been a lot. He asks if she’s sure she didn’t change the DNA, but she assures him that she changed nothing. She would never do that, not even for Alex. He says if it’s definitely not Randal’s child, then Alex has been sleeping with someone else. She’s such a slut. The doctor knows he’s upset. That’s what she means by talking to someone. She holds out a card, and says her colleague can help him. He says he doesn’t need a therapist; he needs to know how this happened. It’s making him crazy. He doesn’t know what Alex lied about. It’s like his whole life is a lie. She suggests they do the test again; maybe there was a mix-up. Brad says that doesn’t change the fact Alex was lying. He was willing to accept the baby, but he’s not willing to accept the lies. It’s deceitful and hurtful. Doctor Raston understands. He says he’s just frustrated, and takes the card.

Eddie sees Brad, and asks what he’s doing there. Brad asks what Eddie is doing there. Eddie says he knew that bitch would burn him; it was only a matter of time. She was ho’ing around with everybody. Brad doesn’t want to talk about it. He’s just trying to figure out what happened. Eddie says he’ll pay Brad back for the credit card, and invites himself over. Brad says he’s done with Alex, and Eddie says he’ll need help hiding the body. Brad says he’s not killing her. Eddie says that’s what needs to happen, but he’s happy to hear him say he’s done. Brad says he finally is, and it feels good. Alex lied about the DNA test, saying Doctor Raston switched the tests. He caught her in lie. Eddie asks whose baby it is. If it’s not Randal’s, it’s Lushion’s. Brad says he doesn’t think so. Eddie says let him help get answers, and Brad says, how? Eddie tells him, don’t ask. He has ways to do what he needs to. The kids are young, and need to learn death is a part of life, and their mom is a whore. He’s tired of her lying to him. They grew up together, but she lost her walk with God. He’s going to her house, and praying with her. Brad says, have fun, and Eddie says Brad knows he can track him.

Eddie walks in on Ian, putting on makeup in an examining room. He says he has to get to work. Eddie figured he’d have a whole glam squad. Ian says he gave them the day off. The makeup is an old trick his wife taught him to cover the bruises. Eddie says he’s seen Ian’s wife, and Ian asks if Eddie is stalking her.  He says Eddie is crazy and possessive, domineering. He’s dated guys like him in the past. Eddie says Ian isn’t up his alley. He likes Ian’s face more with the bruises. We flash back to him beating the sh*t out of Ian, who’s loving it. Ian says the pain is still there. Eddie presses on Ian’s face, and Ian says he’s reminded every time he smiles. Eddie says, or when he sits. He asks what Eddie’s game is. Eddie says Ian had him. He could have given Eddie over. The question is, why didn’t he? Ian says all it did was turn him on. He tells Eddie not to act like he’s not aroused. He enjoyed every moment. Eddie says, killing is like climaxing; watching the life leave the eyes. Ian asks if he’s a serial killer? Eddie says, a lady killer. Ian bets the ladies love him; big blue eyes, strong muscles. I guess batsh*t crazy means nothing. Eddie appreciates the flattery. What’s Ian’s game? Ian says he’s keeping it for the element of surprise, but trust him, it will be good. Eddie says he’ll come at Ian again, and they won’t find his remains. Ian asks if Eddie is trying to turn him on. He tells Eddie, come by the office. He has friends who want to say hi to him. Eddie thinks he’ll pass. Ian thinks they have mutual acquaintances, but Eddie says they have nothing mutual. Ian says, please, and Eddie says he’ll think about it. Ian has a press conference to get to. He asks if this is where they kiss, and Eddie tells him, get the hell out of his face. Ian says, maybe next time.

A fire truck pulls up, and Natalie looks outside. She wonders what happened, and goes out. The firemen seem to be moving pretty slow, and she gets to the shed before they do. She asks Marcie, what happened? and Marcie says, the bastard almost died. Apparently, someone locked them in there, and set it on fire. Randal says it was her, but Marcie says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Natalie asks Alex if she’s okay. The new neighbor/firefighter says she should see a doctor. Alex insists she’s fine. He tells her, at least take some oxygen, handing her the mask. She thanks him for saving her life. He introduces himself as Ben. He and Tanya just moved in. Randal says, she’s fine. Tanya asks if he’s married to Marcie, and he says they were married. Marcie says they were married. Then he screwed the whore in the shed. The door was locked, and someone set it on fire. Randal says if it wasn’t her, it was Brad. There are security cameras. He can check it when the police get there. Marcie says, do it. Tanya tells Ben that Alex said she’s fine. He needs to let others take over. Ben says, if they need anything, just call. Randal says they won’t be needing anything from Paul Bunyan. Natalie tells Tanya that she’s sorry, but Tanya says, no they are. I’m sure she’s going to tell Ben I told you so all night. Natalie wants to talk to Marcie.

At home, Randal coughs up a lung. He calls Larry. He says they know him by now; have Larry call. He leaves a message for Larry, saying he didn’t sign the papers. Larry tricked him. He coughs some more, and calls the police. He says Brad Montgomery next door tried to kill him. He needs the real police. Don’t send Lushion or Steven, and no damn Eddie. Otherwise he’s calling the FBI.

Natalie asks Marcie if she locked them in there. Marcie says they can’t prove it. Natalie says, she did it. Marcie laughs and cries, and says, possibly. She starts crying for real, and Natalie holds her. Natalie says she’s so sorry. Marcie says she hates him. He’s ruining her life. Natalie says she could have killed him. Marcie wants him to leave her alone. Natalie says, Kelly is already in trouble. Marcie doesn’t care, but Natalie says she doesn’t want go through what Kelly’s going through. Come to her house, and sit down.

Brad pulls up, and asks Natalie, what happened? Marcie tells him, take her home. Natalie suggests he get rid of her clothes; they smell like gas. She locked Alex and Randal in the shed, and set it on fire. Brad ask if they’re okay, and Marcie says, just take her home. Natalie says they had some smoke inhalation, but they’ll be fine. Alex comes toward them, but Brad says, stay away. She says she’s sorry. Brad asks if she told Randal that Marcie was pregnant. She says she did. He says, and she went in the shed with that bastard. She says, yes, and he says at least she’s capable of telling the truth. She says she loves him, but he says, go to hell. Stay away from him. He puts Marcie in the car. Alex goes inside, and Natalie walks home.

Lushion’s phone rings. It’s Natalie. She says someone locked Alex and Randal in the shed, and set it on fire. He says he didn’t hear it on the radio. He asks if they’re okay, and she says they are. He says, it’s got to stop; he means it. She asks how Kelly is, and he says he’s checking on her. He asks if Natalie has a picture of Justice. She says she might have one on her phone. He says send it to him. He hangs up, and says, unbelievable.

Lushion goes to his desk, and looks through the drawers. Eddie comes in, drinking liquor (?) out of a bottle. Is that what Lushion was looking for? He says he’s sorry. He just heard the news. Lushion says that makes two of them. He says Alex and Randal are doing just fine. Eddie pours some of the liquor onto the floor, and says, a little something for their homie, or homette. Lushion asks what the hell Eddie is talking about. Eddie says he hasn’t heard? Kelly is dead.

Next time, Marcie knows Brad knows someone who can kill Randal, Ben introduces himself to the neighbors, and Esperanza tells Eddie to get his hands off of her.

🍸 Because it’s late, and it was three back-to-back shows tonight, I’ll post about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills tomorrow. The second part of If Loving You Is Wrong’s new season is also on tomorrow. Why Tyler Perry made this a marathon, I’ll never know. I love him, but he exhausts me.

📺 Some quick show news. I caught some of MasterChef Junior tonight. I love that show, and hope to see more of the season. Tonight, the kids made birthday cakes, and they were spectacular. On Mexican Dynasties, it was Mari and Fernando’s 31st anniversary. Adan also got to work with Ricky Martin’s producer. They are definitely the loudest group of people on television. That much I can tell you for sure.

🙇 Until Then…