Tag Archives: If Loving You is Wrong

March 31, 2020 – Jordan Involves the DOJ, Two Pranks Are Played, Loving Is Back, a Last Season, New GH Schedule, Soaps Rate, Okay Andy & Tired


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I missed the very beginning, because I was running early. Why, Lord, why?

At the MetroCourt, Lulu sees Brook. Dustin asks if Lulu is sure this is a good idea. Does she remember what happened the last time? She says she remembers exactly what happened.

Trina apologizes to Cameron for being late. She lost track of time talking to Ava. Cameron says, it’s totally fine. Everything good? She says, yeah. Him? He flashes back to the kiss, and Trina saying, if she’d lost him, she wouldn’t be able to do any of this, and him saying, neither could he. He tells Trina, it’s all good.

Portia tells Curtis, she knew there was a lot Taggert couldn’t tell her, and frankly there was a lot she didn’t want know. Even when they were breaking up, she still cared about him, and he did everything he could to reassure her. Curtis says, she suspected it was Cyrus when Taggert was killed. He must have told her something about the investigation. She asks why it’s important, and Curtis says he and Jordan are always trying to figure out what to bring home, and what to leave at the office. It must have been the same with them.

Laura goes to the station, and sees Mac. She asks if Jordan is in her office, but he says she’s in a meeting. Laura asks if Mac means Jordan is interrogating a suspect, and Mac says he means she’s in a meeting. Laura gets that Mac isn’t used to her being mayor, but she has to ask him what’s going on.

In the interrogation room, Cliff sets up a recorder, and says, it’s an interview with Jordan regarding the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault. He asks if Jordan consents to the recording. She does, and he tells her to please explain her involvement in the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault.

Alexis says Finn doesn’t seem surprised to hear that she fell off the wagon. He says he feels terrible that he missed her call, but she says it’s not his job to keep her sober; it’s hers. Last night, she let her team down. He says they’re on the same team. If she has some time, he’d like to talk. She says she had one drink, but he says they both know it’s never just one. Alexis says, it’s all she had, and he says she’s been sober almost three years. What changed? She says, apparently, she did, or that’s what she was told. It’s the truth. He says, and that’s bad because… She says, because she stopped fighting for herself and what she believes in. Instead, she protected someone and crossed the line. He says she’s not first person to ever do that. What’s so horrible that she would end three years of sobriety? She says she slept with the person she protected, and she knew it was wrong, but the worst thing is that she’d do it again in a heartbeat. He says he believes her, and asks if she slept with them because she had a drink, or did she drink because she slept with them?

Julian and Britt cuddle in bed, and Julian says, he can get used to this. She tells him to remember their deal. It’s just fun, and at the end of the day, he goes his way and she goes hers. Britt says she probably should go, and he asks if it’s visiting hours at the jail. She says she’s already seen her mother, and once is enough. He asks if Obrecht is still claiming Peter framed her, and she says her mother lives by the motto, deny, deny, deny. She never takes responsibility for her crimes. He says, unlike Britt’s best pal Brad. He can’t believe Brad was involved in a baby switch, and she says Brad isn’t the villain Julian wants him to be. Julian knows Brad is Britt’s best friend, but Brad did betray his son’s trust in the worst possible way. She says, things are not always black and white. If he took the time to understand… He says, like her? She says she and Brad are kindred spirits. Now Brad is in prison, and they can only interact through a glass partition. She’s lost her best friend, and doesn’t know how she’s going to replace him in her life. Brad is the only person who got her, and without him, it feels pretty lonely.

Ned tells Brook, no one would be thrilled with a rematch, and she says, Lulu is a smug self-righteous, spoiled brat. There’s no way she’s letting Lulu win. He says, it’s not a competition. Blame him. He shouldn’t have forced her to work at ELQ. He’s going to find her a job more suitable to her talents. She says her talents belong on stage, and that’s exactly where she’s going.

Dustin says, the mess with Brook is over, isn’t it? and Lulu asks why she should go easy on Brook. He says, Brook is social media’s new punching bag, and she’s been beaten enough. She says, tell her that he doesn’t feel sorry for Brook, and he says he knows the reason Lulu resents Brook; she was desperate to become a success, like him. She says Brook dumped him because he couldn’t help her, but she has better things to do than scratch Brook’s eyes out, as much as she’d like to. He says, name one, and she says, this. They kiss, and Olivia approaches their table. She asks if anyone would care to hear the specials.

Trina asks Cameron how practice is going, and he says, good, but weird. It kind of freaks him out. When he’s playing, his focus is totally on the ball. She says, it’s not weird. She gets the same feeling at the gallery. It’s all about the work. She forgets the drama, and the questions that have no answers. He says he thought her mom didn’t like Ava, and Trina says, her mom doesn’t, but she does. She can talk about anything to Ava. He says that’s like him and Franco, and she asks what they talk about. He says, they were just talking about his last session with Dr. Bern. She says, Dr. Bern? Isn’t he… Cameron says, a therapist, yes. His mother thought he needed someone to talk to because… She asks if he thinks he needs a therapist, and he says, now she sounds like Dr. Bern. He agreed to go so his mother would stop treating him like a basket case. Trina says, he’s entitled to be a basket case, but he says she went through a lot more. She tells him not to compare their tragedies. She’s glad he can talk to Franco, and he says he’s glad she has Ava, but be careful; Josslyn doesn’t trust her. Trina says she gets why, but her experience is completely different, and Ava has been supportive. She wonders why something awful has to happen before they realize they’re not alone. He says that’s a good question, but he doesn’t have an answer.

Curtis asks Portia if Taggert was the kind of guy who brought his work home with him, and she says, sometimes. He says, even when it came to Cyrus? and she asks why he cares. He says he’s just curious because she mentioned balancing work and married life. She asks why it matters now.

Jordan says she was part of a four member team at the DEA. They were a task force assigned to Cyrus. Her, Bob, Mark, and Taggert. All three died in a three month period. Two from overdoses, who had no history of drug use, and Taggert was murdered. She became concerned and went over the DEA files. That’s when she realized there were discrepancies in the evidence. Cliff asks her to elaborate, and she says, upon further examination, she saw the material evidence used to convict Cyrus may have been fabricated. He asks if she knew they’d been obstructing justice, but she says she just had a sneaking suspicion.

Laura knows Mac was working on figuring out how Cyrus got messages from prison out to the street, but Mac says, so far, they have nothing. Laura wonders if the lead is in front of him, and he asks if she’s suggesting they have a dirty cop. She hopes not, but somebody is helping Cyrus. Jordan and Cliff come out of the interrogation room, and Jordan looks at Laura.

Cliff says, now the DOJ will have to be involved, and trusts Jordan won’t leave town. She says, of course (🍷) not. Mac asks, what’s going on? and she says, long story. It will have to wait. He says what’s more important if it involves the people he works with? but she says, it doesn’t. It’s about her and Cyrus. She leaves, and Mac and Laura look at each other.

Trina and Cameron walk as they talk. Trina says Josslyn and Dev can’t leave the property without a security guard. It would make her rip her hair out. It was bad enough with her mother texting her ten times a day, and monitoring where she is. He asks if her mother has backed off yet.

Lulu tells Olivia, she’s sorry about trashing the restaurant, but Brook started the fight. Olivia asks if that was before or after Lulu doused Brook with champagne. Lulu says Brook has done nasty things to her, but Olivia says Lulu has done the same. Like printing Brook’s careless post in The Invader. By the way, that’s not even her beat. Lulu says she didn’t tell Brook to post it in the first place, but even if she hadn’t written about it, someone else would have. Olivia says, it wasn’t someone else; it was Lulu. She gets that Dante is gone, and Lulu is acting out. What she doesn’t understand is that in moving on, why Lulu has turned her back on Olivia and the family. She says she thought Lulu was part of the family, and walks away.

Ned knows Brook has a plan to secretly write and record until she gets her creative property rights back, but does she think it’s a good idea to go on stage? Brook says she doesn’t need to be secretive anymore. She found a way out. He says Diana and ELQ”s lawyers couldn’t break Brook’s contract, and Brook found a way? She says she didn’t need to. After Ned decided to embarrass her, she decided to give Linc what he wants. He says, she’s not going to have… and she says, no. All he needs to know is that she’s now free and clear of her soul-sucking contract. He says it’s not all needs to know. What did she give Linc to make him walk away?

Julian tells Britt, there are way more appropriate candidates for best friend than Brad. She just looks at him, and he says he’s sorry she lost her best friend. Would she like a drink? She asks if by other candidates, he means like him, and he asks if that’s so horrible. Does she have something in common with more upstanding citizens in Port Charles? She says her alleged crimes were an act of love. She doesn’t think holding a knife to his ex’s throat is considered an act of love. Julian says he and Alexis are in a better place now, and she asks if Alexis forgave him. Julian says Alexis got therapy, and Britt says her therapist must be good. As she remembers, Alexis doesn’t forgive so easily. He says, so good, Alexis fell for him. She’s stopped therapy, but hasn’t stopped seeing Dr. Bern. Britt says, Dr. Bern? and Julian asks if she knows him.

Alexis tells Finn, her reasons for drinking are complicated, and he says, they usually are. Would one of the complications be Julian? She doesn’t blame him for coming up with that, but Julian was a good guy, and picked her up the bar. Sam called her coward. He says, and Alexis believed her? She’s fearless and courageous, but Alexis says she lacked courage when the going got rough. Maybe she drank because she can’t be with the guy. Finn says it sounds like she cares about him very much, and she says, it’s just… Neil walks in, and a lightbulb comes on over Finn’s head.

Neil says he thought there was a staff meeting there. Alexis says, it was an AA meeting, and Neil says maybe he got the meeting wrong. Finn says he’s got the wrong room, and tells Neil where it is. Neil says he’s going to bring a GPS next time, but Finn says, when he’s been there a while, he’ll figure it out. Finn kept thinking the supply closet was the on-call room. Alexis says she has to take off, and Neil says he does too, but Finn asks if he can asks a couple of questions. It will just take a minute. He wants to pick Neil’s brain about a patient, and it might have legal complications. Alexis says she has a meeting, and Neil says he’ll be late, but Finn ignores them. He says he’s been treating a patient who’s taken a series of experimental drugs, and is now confessing to bizarre crimes. Maybe the crimes are real; maybe they’re the patient’s imagination. Or maybe it’s their mental illness. Neil and Alexis look at each other, and flash back to their night in the hotel. Finn asks what Neil thinks. Side effects of the medication, or should he investigate if these are true confessions?

Britt tells Julian, she knew Neil looked familiar, but now she’s heard his name in context with Alexis. She had a layover in New York City, and went shopping. She stayed at the nicest hotel, and when she was on her way back to her room, she saw a man about to knock on a door. She didn’t think anything of it, but when the door opened, Alexis stepped out. She was about to say hi, when they fell into each other’s arms, and went back into the room. The guy was Dr. Neil Bern.

Lulu asks Dustin if Olivia was right. Was she desperate to punish Brook, and didn’t care who she hurt? Don’t be the supportive boyfriend, but tell her the truth. He asks if he can’t be both. He tells her, she’s caring, passionate, and impulsive, which aren’t bad things. They’re all reasons why he can’t get enough of her. But in her moving on, the hard part is, sometimes her impulses get out of control. She didn’t have to publish Brook’s post. It could have disappeared into the blogosphere, and no one would have been the wiser. She did it to get back at Brook.

Brook says, Ned likes to keep his business dealings private, and so does she. Her phone rings, and she says it’s her new PR guy; she has to run. As she heads to the elevator, on the phone, she says she has good news for him; he’s going to love it. Olivia asks Ned why every time she sees his daughter smiling, she knows all hell is about to break loose?

Trina tells Cameron, she and her mother have established some ground rules. They made them together. Her mom will give her space as long as Trina doesn’t scare her with radio silence. He says, sounds like a plan, and she says she knows his mom has rules; what about Franco? He says, Franco isn’t big on rules. Trina gets a text from Josslyn, and says she was supposed to text yesterday, and forgot. He asks what Josslyn said about… The last time they were all together, trying to study Shakespeare, Trina left. He knows why she left, but Josslyn didn’t. Unless… Trina didn’t tell her that they kissed, did she?

Portia doesn’t get why Curtis cares so much what went on between her and Taggert. Why is it important? There’s a knock at the door, and Jordan pops in. She says she’s sorry. She didn’t know Curtis would still be there. Portia says Curtis was just asking if she and Taggert talked about his work. Curtis says he was wondering about the Cyrus investigation, and Portia says she told him that Taggert really didn’t talk about his work at home. Jordan says, good. The less Portia and Trina have to do with Cyrus, the better. Portia says, it’s a little late for that. Her daughter was already kidnapped, and her father was shot in front of her. Jordan says she’s sorry. She’s afraid she has more bad news. Portia says, it’s not Trina, is it? but Jordan says, no. Trina is fine as far as she knows. She just met with a detective from Internal Affairs, and he’s asked the Justice Department to open an investigation involving Taggert’s handling of the case against Cyrus.

Alexis tells Finn, from a legal standpoint, policies would have to be investigated. Neil says he’ll work on whether it’s delusion or medication. Finn thanks them both, saying he appreciates it. He asks Alexis, lunch tomorrow? and she says, coffee. He says, sounds good, and leaves. Alexis walks into the office, and Neil closes the door. He says he knows it’s none of his business, but Finn seemed concerned about her. She says it was a post AA meeting; a double-checking thing. Neil says, he’s concerned, but she says she’s fine. Really. He says, every time a patient feels compelled to use the word really, it makes him concerned. She says she’s not a patient anymore, and he says, as one friend to another, can he help?

Julian tells Britt, Alexis’s therapist took advantage of her, but Britt says, Alexis is a grown woman, and as far as she could tell, wanted it as much as Neil did. Julian says, there are rules against that, and she says, it’s ironic that Julian has rules. He says, if Neil is ignoring that, he’ll have to remind him. He’s heading over to GH now. She says, to do what? Ride Neil? She doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Alexis can take care of herself. He says, if she wants to worry about someone, worry about Neil. She says, all she wants to know is if he’s giving her a ride, or does she have to call Ride Share? He says, let’s go, and they leave.

Dustin says, too much honesty? but Lulu says, no; he’s right. So was Olivia. She was acting out, but Brook goes out of her way to be antagonistic, and she wanted to get back at her. She’s a bad person. He says, she’s a wonderful person, but she says, with so many flaws. He says, perfection is overrated.

On the phone, Brook tells her PR guy, if they ask about the big blow up, say no comment, and move on. The less said about it, the quicker it will blow over. She’ll be posting behind-the-scenes footage of her new material. Lulu approaches, and says she knows Brook heard her. Brook says, she’s ignoring Lulu. Take the hint. Lulu asks Brook to hear her out.

Trina says, Josslyn has no idea she and Cameron kissed, and he says, thank God. It would make things awkward. She says, a little bit, and he asks what she ended up telling Josslyn. She says she told Josslyn things were weird because of what happened to her dad, which is actually true. They were all traumatized, and none of them is thinking clearly. Josslyn understood completely. He says he’s glad to hear it, and she says she’s got to run. She promised to meet her mom at the hospital. He says he has  to meet his mom too; can he join her? She says, sure. What are friends for? I’m disappointed.

Portia doesn’t understand. She says Cyrus was found guilty, and sent to prison years ago, and Taggert is dead. Why revisit the case? Jordan says the other two members of the team were also killed in the last three months. She questioned the circumstances of their deaths, and searched for why they were singled out. She found proof that they fabricated the evidence that put Cyrus away. Portia says, they falsified evidence? and Jordan says, they were desperate for a conviction, and Cyrus was too good at not getting caught. She’s sure they felt it meant saving lives. Portia says, that could explain a lot about what happened in the marriage. With Taggert, everything was black and white; there were no grey areas. If he violated his own code, it would have eaten him up inside. I note that Jordan has officially replaced Jason in making the best worried face ever.

Laura thanks someone on the phone, and says she’ll be in touch. She tells Mac, it’s true. The DOJ is doing an investigation. They’ve ordered a complete review of the evidence that put Cyrus in prison. Apparently, Taggert worked with the other two agents to plant evidence against him. Mac says, no. He worked with Taggert for years, and Taggert never bent the law. He had a deep loathing for any officer who did. Laura says, if Jordan thinks there’s a possibility he crossed the line, they have to take it seriously.

Portia says, Taggert and his colleagues were killed for putting Cyrus in prison. What about Jordan? Where does she factor in? Curtis says, Jordan worked inside to gain Cyrus’s confidence. Portia says, so she was working independently of the team? and he says, right. Portia says, Taggert didn’t tell her; they left her out? He says, that’s right. Jordan knew nothing about it.

Olivia wonders how Brook got out of her contract, and Ned says she wouldn’t tell him, and he didn’t push her. He had the feeling no amount of pressure would make her talk. Maybe grandfather had the right idea about tough love. Olivia says that would let him off the hook. Now he doesn’t have to feel guilty about firing her.

Brook sits with Lulu and says, make it quick; she has a meeting with Lucy. Lulu says she didn’t know Brook was interested in real estate, and Brook says she’s not. Lulu says, skin care and cosmetics? Brook says, no. Her career is back on track. She’s launching her rebrand at this year’s Nurses ball. Dustin says, congratulations, and Lulu says, absolutely. She tells Brook, she’s not sorry she did her job as a journalist, but she could have contacted ELQ first, and given them a chance address the pharmaceutical branch that was closing. And it was wrong of her to spray Brook with champagne. So, are they good?

In the elevator, Britt tells Julian, take a deep breath, and do some quick elevator meditation. Don’t do anything he regrets.

Neil tells Alexis, there’s no rule that says she can’t turn to him for help. Alexis says, when she considers that, alarm bells go off inside her head. Neil says she called him last night, but she says, it was a mistake. She wasn’t in an appropriate state to see him. He asks, what state would that be? She shows him her one-day chip. Julian and Britt look through the window.

Mac tells Laura, there has to be more to the story, and she says, maybe there is, but she doesn’t know why Jordan wouldn’t have shared that. Mac says, she took the investigation at face value, but she knew Taggert better than anyone. Why would she have gone straight to IA? Laura says, maybe she couldn’t believe Taggert did something illegal. Mac asks if they just sit back and watch it play out, but she says, no. If something else is going on, she wants him find it.

Jordan tells Portia, she had no idea when Cyrus was originally tried that evidence was planted. Portia says, it’s not going to stay quiet for long. She has to find Trina and tell her what’s going on. Trina knocks on the door, and Portia says, better now than later. She opens the door to Trina and Cameron, and Trina asks, what’s going on? Why are they here?

Ned tells Olivia, Brook is his daughter. From the moment she was born, he started to feel guilty. She says, he had to fire Brook; he had no choice. The mess Brook brought back, she did by her lonesome. He says if Brook is back on track, he won’t feel so guilty, but she says if Brook isn’t willing to tell him exactly how it happened, she has some scheme or epic machination that’s going to blow up in everyone’s face.

Brook accepts Lulu’s apology, and they shake hands. Brook says she wants something in return, and Lulu says, name it. Brook says, Lulu’s boyfriend.

Alexis tells Neil, it’s the first day of her new life. She shows him her chip, and he takes her hand. He says he’s proud of her. Julian busts into the room, and grabs Neil, throwing him up against the wall. Alexis asks what Julian is doing.

Tomorrow, Valentin says Brook’s ELQ shares are officially his, Trina tells Portia not to believe Jordan’s lies, and Carly asks Brando when the other shoe is going to drop.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana meets Lisa for riding. Lisa says she taught Prince to talk, and Ariana says she’s ready for this. Lisa calls Tardon, parlay! and Prince whinnies.

Katie visits Stassi, who’s on the couch, wearing a sleep mask. They have wine and burgers, and Stassi says, it’s just what she needed. The hangover struggle is real.

James makes bacon, and tells Raquel that he had the weirdest dream. Lala was in it. Raquel asks, why? and he says, because he was having an annoying night. We flash back to Tom’s birthday, and Raquel relaying to James that Logan had said he was at a party where people were getting effed up. Raquel says she has to ask; was James drinking at that party? He says, no. If he had, it would be a serious problem. He swears he hasn’t had a drank in six days, In his interview, he says he used to think if bad things happened, it was a good reason to drink, but hit doesn’t solve anything. He’s happy he didn’t.

Lisa tells Ariana that James quit drinking, and he’s getting help. Ariana says, it’s like déjà vu or Groundhog Day, but Lisa says she thinks the difference is that Raquel put her foot down. Ariana says you never know when James is going to snap, and Lisa says it’s when he has his first drink, but she thinks the tide has changed.

James tells Raquel that he’s been talking to Lisa every day.

Stassi can’t believe Katie is having a girls wine night party, but Kristen isn’t invited. Katie says, it’s happening. She’s met some new people, but hasn’t gotten to know them, so she’s invited Dayna, Danica, and Charli. She also can’t not invite Raquel if she’s invited the others. In Stassi’s interview, she says Katie has invited every single girl in West Hollywood, and Kristen is going to be pissed. Katie tells Stassi, if Kristen is going to act like that, she’s not inviting her.

Lisa says, when it gets to be too much, she goes to the stable. Ariana complains that her horse has a small wiener, and it’s embarrassing.

In his interview, Jax says he swore he’d never be at SUR when he turned 40, and at 40, he’s still there. Tom comes in, hungover and struggling. Jax suggests the hair of the dog. Raquel sees Scheana outside in the back, and Scheana says Raquel looked cute at Tom’s party. Raquel says Scheana looked hot, and Scheana says she had fun with her whip. Katie calls Raquel, and invites her to wine night tomorrow with the ladies. Raquel says she’d love to. In Raquel’s interview, she says, Katie has never been intentionally mean to her, but she’s never gone out of her way to be kind either. Scheana wonders how it’s going to be with Lala, and tells Raquel that she’ll have friends there. She can mediate if need be.

Brett has invited Scheana to make a YouTube video with him. In his interview, he says he does personal training, and has been successful on YouTube by being his authentic self. A lot of women follow him. He tells Scheana that he thinks women will identify with her, and what she’s been through as a young divorcee. He trusts her and she’s a friend. Scheana thinks they’ll become better friends, because this woman cannot take no for an answer. He thinks she’s awesome, but says he’d never want to hurt her by making her think there’s something that’s not there. He looks at her like a guy friend. Scheana, who only hears what she wants to, says, who knows; maybe one day. In Brett’s interview, he says he loves her as a person, but has no intention of taking he home. Scheana suggests they see where the world takes them.

Schwartz goes to Tom’s place, where Max has arrived ahead of him. In Tom’s interview, he says, people give him a hard time about not having furniture, but they have a couch and a credenza. They’re good. Tom says, it’s Jax’s birthday, and Brittany is taking him out to lunch. Now that they have houses, it’s open to the possibility of TP’ing them. Schwartz says, talking about it ruins it; it has to be spontaneous. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he’s all for a good prank, but because of the dynamic between Tom and Jax, he doesn’t know if they’re in a good enough place for that. Schwartz says he can’t do it today, as Tom pours beer in a funnel. He doesn’t mind pissing Jax off, but not on his birthday. Tom wants Schwartz to funnel beer, and Schwartz asks, what for? Tom says, for Jax, and Schwartz says, Jax isn’t here. Tom points to his heart, and says, Jax is here. In Max’s interview, he says Tom wants to beer bong and TP a house in the afternoon, but he has to go to work. He doesn’t think it’s the best idea. They sit by the pool, and Tom brings out shots. They toast to Jax’s birthday. Schwartz thinks instead of pranking Jax, they should lift him up, and show how much they love him. Tom says he’ll be back in fifteen, and Schwartz says, what if it rains? Tom and Max leave, but Schwartz stays behind. He can’t, he won’t, and he’s not doing it.

Tom and Max TP Jax’s house, and Tom says, it feels good. In Max’s interview, he thinks Tom is releasing some frustration against Jax; he’s fired up. The leave OLD FART in toilet paper letters on the street in front of the house. Jax and Brittany come home to trees laden with toilet paper, and Jax says, WTF? Are you effing kidding me? Who does that? Brittany says, what the hell is this? Jax sees the message, and says, these a-holes. This is going to suck. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s not that funny. He knows one of his friends did it, but doesn’t know which one.

Jax starts making calls. Tom says he didn’t have anything to do with it, and claims they got him too, and shows Jax his front yard with a few streams of toilet paper hanging from a tree. In Toms’ interview, he says, there are three things you need to get away with a prank. Confidence, an alibi with plausible details – Jax says it doesn’t look like as much in Tom’s yard, and Tom says they must have hit Jax’s house first –  and a couple of gullible friends. Brittany says Schwartz swears he didn’t do it. Jax says he knows Beau did it. Brittany shows Stassi the yard, and Stassi says, it’s so insane. In his interview, Jax says he’s going to find how who did this, and get them back.

Scheana tells Brett she went home with some guy from Tom’s party, but not the one she came with. She’s excited to be YouTube’ing with him. He sets up the camera, and says he’s there with a good friend; a homie. He introduces Scheana, and says she’s 34, and looks great. She highly recommends Botox. He says, she’s a middle-aged woman, and in her interview, Scheana wonders in what world she’s considered middle-aged. I too, am wondering. Brett says she’s been married and divorced, and she’s freezing her eggs, because right now, she’s not trying to have a baby. She says she’s not getting in another relationship or getting married unless the guy blows her mind. She’s been dating f***boys, and it’s fun. Brett says, you attract the energy you put out, and asks if she’s a f***girl. In Scheana’s interview, she wonders why she’s doing this interview. He stops filming, and she says she can be happy, single, and getting laid, or fat desperate and looking for love. I guess there’s no in-between? She says she doesn’t want a relationship. He calls her middle-aged again, and she says he keeps aging her. He clearly doesn’t know the definition because she has at least another ten to fifteen years. I get the feeling Brett isn’t the brightest bulb in the box, which is saying a lot since Scheana is no Einstein either.

Lisa explains to her housekeeper that she’s going to her mother’s funeral, staying one more day, and then coming back. In Lisa’s interview, she says the funeral was delayed, and it’s been overwhelming. Puffy! She tells Puffy not to be nervous. She’s going to call her other rescue boy, and see how he’s doing.

James asks Raquel what she’s going to say at the wine party when Lala comes at her. It’s going to be a feeding frenzy. Lisa calls, and asks if he’s doing okay, and he says he’s doing really well. He has a meeting tonight. She says she’s going out to London tomorrow, and just because she’s on the other side of the world, doesn’t mean she won’t know what’s going on. He says he’s taking it seriously. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t need another child, but James’s vulnerability tugs at her heartstrings. She’s invested a little in helping to get him there, and he’s going to do it. I want her to adopt me.

Katie makes charcuterie boards for the party. Stassi says, a lot of people are coming; Kristen is going to sh*t her pants. Katie says, life goes on without her, and Stassi says she understands Katie’s logic, but Kristen won’t.

Scheana can’t wait to call Kristen, and give her the news. Kristen says she’s prepping for Jax’s birthday party, and Scheana whines that Brett called her middle-aged. She tells Kristen that she’s heading over to Katie’s for girls wine night. Kristen says, that’s precious. Katie is her wine partner, and not inviting her. Scheana says, Katie has literally invited all of SUR. I forgot to mention, literally is literally every other word with this group, and I’m literally tired of it. If it was a drinking game, we’d be smashed in the first ten minutes of the show. Kristen asks if Lisa is going to be there, and Scheana says Lisa is in London for her mother’s funeral, but maybe she was invited. In Kristen’s interview, she feels like this is bullsh*t. Katie wants crazy Kristen, so she can justify it. She tells her dogs that they’re her two best friends. Which I actually (literally?) don’t think is a bad thing.

The girls start arriving. In her interview, Dayna says she grew up on Mad Dog 2020, and vodka from a box (is that a thing?), so she’ll drink whatever’s there. Scheana says she came in her pajamas; it’s been a long day. She did a YouTube video with Brett, and he called her middle-aged. Stassi says, he’s only two years younger than Scheana. They toast to girls night.

At TomTom, Max tells Tom, everything is good. Jax arrives, and says, the party’s here.

Brittany tells the girls that they’re having Jax’s birthday party at Rocco’s. It’s going to be an 80s theme.

Tom gives Jax a paper shopping bag. Jax takes out some toilet paper. In his interview, he says, if Tom wants to surprise him, show up with a fifth of vodka. There will be consequences.

Brittany wonders who TP’d the house. Jax thinks it’s Beau and Stassi. Stassi thinks it’s Tom, but Ariana says someone came to her house too. Brittany is still friends with Kristen, and asks if they’re still going to be able to hang out. Katie says they still have a wine inventory, but the friendship is off. Lala talks to Scheana on the porch, and says Raquel should feel lucky to be graced with her presence. In Lala’s interview, she wants Raquel to stay in her lane, and let people like her run sh*t. Lala goes inside, and says she wants to have a real talk with Raquel. Because a party is definitely the place to do that. She says she pulled Raquel aside because she as genuinely concerned about James, and wanted to make sure he was okay. Raquel says Lala turned it into an ugly thing, and focused on Logan. Lala says she was speaking; let her finish. Raquel forgot her place, but Lala will steer her back. Raquel says, Logan is obsessed with James. In her interview, she says, this is raw Lala. Lala sees her as vulnerable, and preys on it. If they can’t all agree Lala is a bully, they can agree she’s a bitch. Lala says she set up James with studio sessions, and wouldn’t say anything if she didn’t care. In Charli’s interview, she thinks maybe Lala still likes James, but you can secretly still like someone and secretly hate their girlfriend. I don’t see Lala as still being interested in James that way, but okay. Raquel says, James didn’t drink, and Lala says she’s missing the point, and ran off after she told Lala STFU. At her worst, Raquel is like a yapping chihuahua. Raquel says, Lala is a Rottweiler, and Lala says, no; she’s a Pitbull. Brittany says, they’re scaring her, and Stassi laughs. Lala tells Stassi, stay in her bubble. In Stassi’s interview, she says Lala is her girl, but right now, she has no leg to stand on. Lala says, don’t project on her what they want her to reflect. Huh?

In the car, Raquel tells James that she’s tired; it was a lot of wine. It was awkward. She and Lala argued, and everyone else was quiet. It’s been a week. James says it was weird before the meeting; he felt overwhelmed. He hasn’t shared yet. In his interview, he says he wasn’t sure what to expect, but he’s in a room full of cool people who have realized alcohol isn’t a cool solution to problems. Raquel drives him to a meeting.

Everyone gathers for Jax’s birthday party. Brittany thinks it’s weird how Jax wanted a theme, but he’s not willing to dress up for anyone else’s. Jax comes in looking like a poor man’s Brett Michaels. In his interview, he says he’s a huge 80s buff; it’s his decade. He would have dressed like this anyway. Tom gives Jax a gift, and it’s a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. In Tom’s interview, he says when he, Schwartz, and Jax lived together, they watched Step Brothers all the time, and the Will Ferrell character has a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. He called Randy’s assistant and had it signed. A producer asks what Jax got Tom for his birthday, and he says, um… He doesn’t think Jax got him anything. Schwartz gives Jax a fake, very lifelike, female foot. In his interview, Schwartz says, Jax likes dirty, filthy, stinky feet. He’s worried there’s a paper trail leading to him buying the foot, and he’s now on a list. Jax tells Brittany that she’s been replaced. Brittany tells Kristen, it was weird with her not being at wine night. It was fun, but crazy. In Kristen’s interview, she says Stassi and Katie were her L.A. family, and she doesn’t understand how you can cut family out. The point is that you stick together no matter what. She tells Brittany, they don’t want anything to do with her. Brittany says she sees both sides, but Kristen doesn’t know what their side is. She’s said things she didn’t mean and apologized, but she thinks they say things they mean.

Raquel waits for James after the meeting. When he gets in the car, he tells her that he shared for the first time. Raquel says, that’s amazing, and in James’s interview, he says his persona is DJ James, the life of the party. It’s been seven years of non-stop partying. Being vulnerable is difficult for him, and it’s going to be a day by day thing. He tells Raquel he was nervous. He felt like she did back in the day, giving a speech to her college class. He’s blessed to have figured it out now.

Randall tells Jax that when you’re in the 40 club with him, it’s not about TP’ing a house. He’s a prank specialist, and tonight a prank cop car is going to be pulling up at Tom’s house and arresting him for vandalism. They’re going to cuff him, put him in the car, then they’ll jump out and say it’s a prank. Lala tells Jax his birthday gift is happening tonight. In her interview, she says, Randall is a prankster specialist. He’s done over 100 films, and pulled a prank on all of them. It’s always epic. Randall says, no one can know.

At Tom’s house, Ariana says she rented a table and chairs. She thinks she might want to stick with rented furniture, since she doesn’t trust anyone not to eff up her house, including Tom. The guests arrive, and she says, RIP her house. Jax brings his own chair, since he won’t sit on the cushions. They have cat hair on them, and he hates cat hair. He yells for music, when two cops come in, and ask to talk to Tom. They pat Tom down, and Jax acts shocked. The cops take Tom outside, and in Jax’s interview, he says they’re genius actors, and look like real cops. For a second, Jax thought he was in trouble. One of the cops asks what Tom knows about a vandalism report, but Tom says he didn’t do anything. The guests move outside, and Schwartz is sure it has to do with parking tickets. The cops tell them to stand back, and put Tom in the car. Ariana asks what it’s about, and one of the cops tells her, it’s about vandalism. Jax insists he didn’t say anything, but one of his neighbors may have. In his interview, Jax says, this is how you do a prank when you’re an adult. Tom will never be number one. He tells Ariana, he didn’t call anyone; it wasn’t him. Randall goes over to the car, and tells Tom, here’s the thing. When you f*** with Jax on his birthday, you f*** with them. Lala says he got them all, and they dance around and high-five each other. Ariana says her heart is beating out of her chest.

Jax thanks the actors, and Katie says she hates them all. Scheana tells Tom that he’s really sweating. In Katie’s interview, she says she doesn’t think it’s funny. Just turn on the news. She asks if she’s the only one who thinks it’s not funny, and Jax says, Tom’s not mad, and that’s all that matters. In Tom’s interview, he says it was one of the best pranks ever, and he’s honored to have it pulled on him. Ariana says she understands where Katie is coming from. In Ariana’s interview, she says some people have a different perspective than others when it comes to their relationship with the police. Joking around like that is in poor taste. Tom says, it’s not a big deal. Katie says they can’t expect no one to react, and Schwartz tells her to shut up. She says she doesn’t think it’s funny, but Schwartz says it was a great moment. They’re laughing, and no one gives a sh*t about her opinion. Tom tells him not to talk to his wife that way.

Katie wonders if she’s the only person who associates this with something really terrible, and Ariana says she gets where Katie is coming from. Schwartz says he’s never been more turned off in his life. This is why he doesn’t have sex with her. Beau says, don’t do this, and Schwartz says he’s not looking for Beau to agree with him; she’s a moron. In Beau’s interview, he says, it’s one thing to have a drunken argument with your significant other – he’s experienced that – but the way Schwarz is talking is venom. In Katie’s interview, she says, the last time Schwartz spoke to her like that was in Mexico. We flash back to Schwartz saying her voice is a cacophony. She says, the only difference is, this time he’s being mean and degrading in front of all their friends. Schwartz walks out, calling Katie an idiot, and Tom says Schwartz is being an a-hole. Schwartz tells Katie, let’s go, but she says she’s not going with him.

Next time, Beau tells Stassi that he’s doing everything on his time, Schwartz says things are still tense, and Brett wants to hang out with Dayna.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Ian asks if there’s any chance Alex had his baby. Talk to him. She says, no, and he says he’s not judging. She says, goodbye, and starts to walk, but he calls her back. She says she doesn’t want to talk about this, and tries to go into her house, but the door is locked. She says she left her keys, but he says he has them. She asks what the hell is wrong with him? and he says she left them on the grass. She says she doesn’t want to wake her kids up; give her the keys. He says he wants answers. Can the baby be his? She says, that’s impossible; they never slept together. He asks if she really wants to do this. He knows a lawyer. Don’t make him go that route and request a DNA test. She asks why he’d do that, and he says he wants answers; that’s all. She asks if he’d really get a court order, and he says, if he has a child out there, he would. She says, no way the baby is his, and he asks how she knows. She says they only had sex once.

He says she’s admitting it, but she says she doesn’t want to talk there. He suggests they go in her house, but she says, no. She’d rather go to his. They go inside, and it’s not unlike Tom’s house on Vanderpump Rules, since he has no furniture yet. He says, so? She says, it was her, and he thanks her for being honest. She says the baby’s not his, and he says, he gets it. He doesn’t want it to be either, but they should know. Alex says she doesn’t need this now, and Ian says, him neither. He asks if she wants a drink, and she says she does. He brings out a box, and says he wants her to promise first that she’ll talk. She starts to cry, and he asks if she’s okay. She cries harder, and tells him, just find the alcohol. She doesn’t care what it is at this point.

Natalie feels bad, but Lushion says, Alex made her bed; it’s done. He looks out the window, and says, what the hell? Someone is over at Kelly’s. He’s going to check, and she tells him, be careful. He tells her to stay there, and goes outside. He sees a man holding a paper bag, and looking in Kelly’s front window. He draws his gun. He tells the guy, put his hands up and put the bag down. The guy says he lives there, but Lushion says he doesn’t. He says he’s just moving in, and Lushion says, somebody else lives there. What’s his name? The guy says, Durrell; he’s Justice’s father. Lushion asks if he’s got ID, and Durrell says it’s in his back pocket. Lushion says, slowly, and Durrell holds out his wallet. Lushion looks at the ID, and puts away his gun. He asks why Durrell is snooping around, and Durrell says his mother told him that Kelly left the key; he knows the alarm code. Lushion asks if Justice can ID him, but he says Justice doesn’t really know him. Lushion tells him, hands behind his back. Keep it easy, and they’ll clear this up. Lushion cuffs him, and says, relax; take a seat. Durrell sits on the curb, and Lushion calls Natalie, asking her to come out. He meets her halfway, and she asks, what’s going on? He says the guy says he’s Justice’s father. Does she know him? She says, no, but he looks like Justice. Lushion says, he just got out of jail, and she asks how he knows. Lushion says, slippers and a paper bag. She says Kelly did tell her that he was in jail, but Justice doesn’t know him. He asks if Kelly said anything about leaving a key, and she says Kelly did say she was worried and told him he could move in. Maybe it is him. Lushion tells her, stay there. He asks Durrell if he’s got proof he knows Kelly, and Durrell says there are pictures in his wallet. Lushion looks at them, and says, that’s a long time ago. Durrell says he’s been away a while, and Lushion unlocks the cuffs. He asks if Durrell was in jail. Durrell says, yeah, and Lushion says, yes, sounding like Judge Judy. He says he can’t let Durrell in until he finds out it’s okay. Durrell asks where he’s supposed to go tonight; he just got out, and doesn’t have money. Lushion says he can’t let Durrell in until he makes sure he’s supposed to stay there. In a couple hours it will be daylight, and he can come back. If Kelly says it’s okay, he’ll let Durrell in. If Durrell was Lushion, he’d do the same thing. Durrell picks up his bag, and says, all right. He strolls off, and Natalie says, Lushion isn’t letting him in? Lushion says he thought she was from the hood. She says she is, but she thinks it’s him. Lushion says, Kelly has been through enough. One night at a bus station won’t kill him. She says, that’s cold. She feels bad, but Lushion says he doesn’t.

Ian says Alex doesn’t want another, does she? She says she does, and he says, it’s strong, but she says she doesn’t care. He thinks she needs to lay off the liquor, but she thinks he needs to stop telling her what to do. He says she’s drunk, and she says he’s not drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says, fair enough, and they clink glasses. She says she remembered him the moment she saw him, but was hoping he wouldn’t remember. He asks, why? Because she was married? She says, it’s not that. She hates being a wife (surprising us all), but she’s not a bad person. He tells her, he didn’t say she was, and she says she doesn’t want kids. He says she has three, and she says, because she did everything her father, mother, and Brad wanted her to do. She felt trapped, so every time Brad was at work, and she was supposed to be at a PTA meeting or whatever, she met men like him. He asks, how many? and she says, a lot. Go ahead. Judge all he wants. He says he’s not; it’s fine. She says she never wanted this life. She didn’t want to be married. She wanted to be an actress. He says she’s pretty damn good, and she says she has to be now. Her father told her it was stupid, and she should get married and have babies because she had no talent and no chance. That was after he raped her every night. Ian is shocked, and she says he wanted to talk; let’s talk – about all of it. She pours herself some more, saying, she grew up with a backwoods country-ass way of thinking. Her mother actually said it was okay. He says he’s so sorry, and she says she watched her family nearly murder Black people. They hated that she went to school with them. Ian says maybe she was sleeping with Black men to get back at them, but she says, it has nothing to do with that. She thinks they’re beautiful, and loves how their skin is gorgeous and soft. He says, no more for her, and she says he’s right. No more talking about this bullsh*t; she’s done. He says she’s not doing anything stupid, and she says, why the hell should she deal with this, raising Brad’s kids. He says they’re her kids too, but she says she’s tired of all this sh*t. She’s had enough. She’s going to be free, and go do whatever she wants with whoever she want to do it with. He says when she wakes up sober, she’s going to realize she said too much. She asks why he isn’t drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says he’s buzzed, but she says, not enough; drink. She downs hers, and he moves the empty glass away. He suggests she let him take her home, but she says she doesn’t want to go right now. He says, what about her kids? and she says, they’re fine with the babysitter. He takes her hands, and she pulls him toward the kitchen island. She says, please, she wants this. It was so good; she wants to do it again. She unzips his pants, and gets on her knees. He says, no, but…

Larry gets home, bringing along another guy, and Eddie is waiting. He says, what are you ladies up to? and Larry says Eddie was there ahead of him, and knows when he left. The other guy goes inside, and Eddie asks who this one is. Larry says Eddie isn’t ready for that. Why is he there? Eddie says he wants to talk about some things. Andrew, Joe, and Pete. Larry asks if he’s been drinking, and Eddie says, more than drinking. He did some good blow tonight. Larry says he must be pretty high, and Eddie says he could say that. He saw Larry’s wife leaving; is there a problem? Larry says she goes to the country house on weekends, and he brings home the boys when she’s gone. Eddie thinks it’s sick, twisted sh*t, and Larry says, it is; they love it. Almost as much as they love each other. What does Eddie want? To come in? Eddie says, hell no, and Larry asks why Eddie is wasting his time. Eddie says he’s there to find out about those specific names, and Larry asks what he wants to know. Eddie asks if they’re with the FBI, and Larry says he doesn’t know. Eddie asks if Larry is playing games with him, and Larry says he doesn’t play games. He invites Eddie in again, but Eddie says he’s not into that kinky sh*t. Larry says Eddie is pretty sick too. It was the last reason Eddie was there, and the only reason he’s there now. He gave Eddie the privilege of taking control and making him beg. He respects that. Is Eddie ready to beg? Let him know. Eddie acts mad at the world, but what he wants is to be punished. Let Larry punish him. He’ll make him feel so bad by making him feel good. Eddie says the only reason he’s there is Esperanza and the dudes who came against him. Nothing is going to stop him. Larry says, sounds like fun, and Eddie says, keep pushing him, and see how much fun he is. Larry says he can’t wait, and goes inside.

A nurse whose name I can’t remember, tells Rick to go home. He says he wants to talk to her about Kelly. She’s back in jail, and going through a hard time. She says she’s not helping any more, and don’t tell Kelly to fake chest pains. He asks if she doesn’t talk to Sister Margaret, the chaplain. Did Margaret tell her the names of the girls? She says she’s not talking to him, and starts to walk away, but he grabs her arm. He says, they got her too, but she says she’s not talking. He gives her a piece of paper, and says, it’s Lushion’s phone number. Help them. She says that church is crazy, and they know everyone; the mayor, the garbageman, even her ex=boyfriend. She can’t tell him anything. He says she can’t let Kelly go down, but she says she doesn’t know Kelly, and Kelly shot him. Rick says she doesn’t know what he did to Kelly, and she says not to use her name. He says, fine, coward, and she says, call her whatever he wants. She’s not messing with that church. On second thought, if he takes her out and buys her some drinks, maybe she’ll talk. He tells her, bring her dancing shoes and a nice dress.

Margaret visits Kelly, but Kelly says she doesn’t want to talk to her. Margaret says she wants to say a prayer, and the guard lets her in. Kelly tells her, get away from her cell. The guard leaves, and Kelly calls him back, but he ignores her. Margaret tells Kelly, come sit, but Kelly says she won’t. Margaret says, before the guard comes back, and Kelly sits. She asks what Margaret wants, and Margaret says she’s helping Kelly; praying for her. Kelly laughs, and Margaret hands her a Bible, telling her, read this. It’s her gift to Kelly. Margaret calls to the guard, and Kelly says she knew Margaret didn’t want to pray; hypocrites. Margaret tells her, open the bible, and she does. Kelly flips through it, and takes out several pictures. She looks on the backs of them, and Margaret says, God bless you. Wrong is wrong, and she is praying. Kelly thanks her, and hugs her. Margaret says, she’s going to be all right, and when she is, don’t look back. It’s time for Kelly to get back to church. Get back to praying and believing again. She’s stronger than all this. Stop being sorry for herself and being a victim. Take it by force. The kingdom suffers violence, and the violent take it by force (Matthew 11:12). Kelly says she hears her, and Margaret says, good. God bless her.

Tanya and husband Bennett watch TV. Tanya asks Bennett why he keeps looking out. (Refresher: Bennett trashed Randall’s house at the end of last season.) She says, stop looking at him. He’s looked enough at her already. Bennett says he’ll tell Randall to stop, but she says he’s not going to. She already told him to stop. Bennett says he can make Randall stop, and she asks, how? He says he just will, and she says, like in the last neighborhood? He tore that man’s house apart. He says they were talking about her, and she says he can’t get mad. She gives them enough to talk about. He tells her, don’t worry. Randall won’t bother her again, but she says he’s not the kind that will stop. Bennett says, he will, and she says she’s going to bed. He tells her that he’s staying up a little. He promises Randall won’t bother her. He looks out the window.

Steven and Esperanza cuddle on the couch. He says, it’s her night, and she says, after they watched his movie. He asks if she wants him to stay because of Eddie, or because she wants him to stay. She asks if she looks afraid. He says he’ll stay every night, or he can be out sleeping in his car. She says that would defeat the purpose, and he says he can sleep on the couch. She tells him, read between the lines. She wants him to stay in her bed, naked. He says, as good as it sounds, he doesn’t want her kicking him out in an hour. She says he’s living in the past. She wants to spend time together, and not worry about what happened before. He says, what about her daughter? and she says she’s been thinking about that. The best thing is for her to bring her daughter to her mom’s until this thing with Eddie is over. Does he want drive up there to Columbus? He says they’ve got themselves a road trip, and they kiss. He gets a text, and she makes him give her the phone. She reads, what’s up, stud? and asks who Anna is. He asks if she’s jealous, and she says, a little bit, and deletes Anna’s number because she doesn’t like her name. He says he doesn’t think his sister is going to like that. She wants him to call his sister, and he says, no. He’s sleepy, and they’re not exclusive. They’re just enjoying each other very much. They get busy.

Randall calls Marcie, who answers, yes? He asks if that’s all she’s got to say. She destroyed his house. She asks what he’s talking about, and he asks if she got Brad to do it. She says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. She only picked up because she likes to taunt him. He says she did more than that, and she says he’s talking crazy. He tells her, don’t hang up, but she says, bye. A car parks in front of Randall, and Brad gets out and goes inside.

Brad asks if Marcie is okay. She says she is, but Randall keeps calling. He asks why she keeps answering, and she says she likes to taunt him. He says she shouldn’t do that. He asks if Randall has been there, and she says, no; why would he be? Brad says, someone destroyed Randall’s house, but she says she doesn’t know what happened. He tells her that Alex signed the divorce papers. That means he can officially pursue her. He kisses her, and she says she hasn’t seen his full court press. She tells him, she’s starving, and he says he’ll make something. He gets up, but his phone rings. He says it’s Chelsea, his babysitter, and he asks, what’s going on? Chelsea says his wife was supposed to be back hours ago, and she has to leave. She tried calling, but Alex isn’t answering. He asks if the kids and baby are asleep, and she tells him they are. He says he’ll be right over. He tells Marcie that Alex still isn’t home, and she says Alex is probably trying to trick him, but he says she knows better than that. She asks if he’s going, and he says he has to. Otherwise, the kids will be there by themselves. She tells him to try Alex again, but he gets voicemail, and hangs up. Marcie tells him to try from the landline, but he still gets voicemail. Marcie calls and leaves a message that Alex’s kids are looking for her. Where the hell are you, bitch? Brad says, she’s not helping, and Marcie thinks Alex knows they’re together. He tells her to relax; it’s about his kids. She apologizes for making it about her, and he leaves. She says, bitch.

Randall sees Brad leave. Marcie says she hopes the bitch is dead, and calls Alex. She says Alex thinks she’s going to win this thing by dragging Brad out in the middle of the night, but it’s not going to work, ho. She hangs up, but decides to fill up Alex’s damn voicemail. Randall watches as Brad pulls away. He gets out of the car, and goes in the side door. He knocks, and Marcie asks if Brad forgot his key. Randall busts in, and grabs Marcie.

Next time, Esperanza finds Eddie in bed with her and Steven; Kelly tells Lushion the Bible had pictures of women and information on settlements in it; and Lushion and Brad go to Ian’s house looking for Alex.

😥 Sniff…

It looks like this will be the final season of If Loving You is Wrong. After we waited a year. It’s like Game of Thrones all over again.


🏥 Scheduling Details…

The skinny on how GH is handling this new normal.


🧼 On a High…

More than one kind of soap seems to be popular these days.


📯 FYI, Andy Cohen is apparently none the worse for the wear, and back at work, doing Watch What Happens Live from his home office.

😴 Good Thing I Don’t Need Sleep…

Oh, wait… Stay safe out there.

February 19, 2020 – Brad’s Secret Comes Out, the Wives Go To the Shore, New Seasons, Supporting Erika & the Boardwalk


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

In her office, Jordan starts to get on the computer. The door opens, and she says she told them, no interruptions. Curtis says he told her assistant to go ahead and arrest him. She says, sorry. It’s just been a circus there tonight. He guesses so. Between the mob violence, the Cassadine craziness, and her old buddy Taggert.

Mac runs into Taggert outside Kelly’s. He asks how long it’s been, and they hug. Taggert says, too long.

Inside Kelly’s, Cameron joins Trina. She says he’s back, and she says, finally. Don’t leave for that long ever again.

Cyrus is brought to the visitor room, and Sonny is there. Cyrus sits, and says, Mr. Corinthos. He assumes Sonny has reconsidered his stance, and is making room for him in Port Charles. Sonny says, yeah. Room to leave.

A worker checks out some boxes at the pier where Cyrus’s warehouse is. Jason puts a gun in his back.

Willow asks Chase if Finn left, and he says, just now. She asks what he thinks is going to happen with Finn and Anna. Chase says he’s hoping they work things out, but maybe throwing a kid into the mix is too much for them. She asks if that’s how he feels about Wiley, but he says, no.

Nelle looks in on the bon voyage party. Julian tells Lucas, it will be fine; relax. Lucas says, it’s right there. They were in the car… He smacks himself in the head, and Sam says, calm down. Talk to them. Julian thinks Lucas is overstimulated by the party, and suggests getting Wiley. It will be better once he has his son. Michael says he’ll go, but Julian thinks it’s better if he does. Lucas remembers Brad saying Wiley isn’t the baby they adopted. He’s Michael and Nelle’s son. Lucas looks up, and says, Michael. Michael asks, what is it? What’s wrong? Lucas says Wiley is his son. Julian is like, d’oh! and everyone is in shock.

Nelle watches, and Michael tells Lucas, take it easy. He’s not making sense. Brad says, Michael is right, and reaches for Lucas, but Lucas says, don’t touch him. He’s not tired and he’s not crazy. He knows what he heard. Carly tells him, take a breath. She says she’s going to talk to her brother. Everyone can stay or go; she doesn’t care, but the two people who can’t leave are Brad and Michael. No one goes anywhere, since this is too good to miss.

Willow tells Chase she’s sorry she didn’t run it by him before she said yes. He says, don’t be, and she asks if they’re at that point. Does she have to check in before she says yes to being her son’s guardian? He says, there’s not an app for that? and she says, unfortunately not. He says he’s not surprised. Why wouldn’t Willow say yes? Wiley is amazing, and she obviously loves him. She says she’s asking because she just wants to know if they’re in this together. Wiley – who gets cuter by the second – says, mama, and she says she wants to be a part of Wiley’s life, God forbid something happens to his parents. Chase kisses her over Wiley’s head, and she says, that’s a lot.

Trina asks Cameron, how was the trip? He says, amazing, and she says she could tell by the pictures. She loves seeing the campuses, and asks what his favorite was. He says, Williams, and she says it was on her list. He wonders if they’ll end up at the same school, and she says he should be so lucky. She doesn’t have his high school credits. They talk about the soccer team at Williams, and Cameron asks what he missed. She says, not much. He says, that’s it? Time didn’t stand still while he was gone. He asks how the gallery is, and she says, awesome; she’s in charge of the next auction catalog. He asks how Josslyn is.

Cyrus says Sonny has gotten complacent, running Port Charles for so long. He’s moving in. Ask anyone; when he moves in, he doesn’t leave. Sonny says, 457 Water Street.

Jason has the guy at the pier down, with his hands behind his back. He asks, how many more guys are there? and the man says, five. Jason says he’s lying, and the man says if he knows the answer, why is he asking? Jason says, to see if he’ll cooperate, and the guy says, if he wants cooperation, get out now, while he’s still alive.

The guy says he knows who Jason is. He did his homework. Jason Morgan, the Corinthos enforcer. Jason’s boss is good, but his is better. I laugh, since it sounds like a kid saying his dad is bigger. He tells Jason that they don’t want to go sideways with his boss. What do they think will happen? They’re going to hijack Cyrus’s merchandise, all $20 million worth, and sell it themselves? It’s suicide. He says he’s nice guy, and willing to forget Jason showed up and let him walk away. Nobody messes with Cyrus and lives. Jason guesses they’ll have to find that out.

Sonny tells Cyrus, he knows the waterfront well; he’s been there a lot of years. Cyrus says, too many, and Sonny says, the building was sold without a listing. A truck in a holding company registered to Cyrus left Seattle, and was there days ago. Two or three hours ago, they were offloading cargo. Cyrus says Sonny is about to make a big mistake, and Sonny says, Cyrus already made one.

Trina says she’ll gladly tell Cameron about Josslyn, on one condition. He has to say he likes her. Cameron says, that’s blackmail, and Trina says, if he’s not interested, cool. He can check out her MyFace page. If he likes Josslyn, she’ll give him details. Admission first. He says nothing, and she asks if it’s that hard. He says it is, and she asks, why? He says because it’s not like he just thinks she’s cute and talks to her at lunch kind of thing. It’s real for him. Fine. He likes her a lot.

Taggert says Mac is back in the game; Chief of Detectives. Congratulations. Mac thanks him, and says, what about him? He knows Taggert was with the Feds. Taggert says he was, but it got to be too much after a while. He retired. Mac says he sees, and Taggert says, what? Mac says, the timing is a little too coincidental. He’s back in town just when a mob war with Sonny is about to blow up.

Jordan asks what makes Curtis think there’s some trouble with Taggert? He says she hasn’t been herself since Taggert arrived. He can connect the dots. She says, there’s been an outbreak in violence, but he says he’s seen her in a crisis. She’s calm, but this is different. He thinks it’s personal. She says she doesn’t know what to tell him, and he says she better come up with something. She’s acting shady, and as her husband, he has a right to know why.

Willow asks what Chase wants to do first, and he says he didn’t know there was an agenda. She says it’s their going away party for Wiley. She wants to do all the stuff they won’t be able to. She tries to give Wiley some grapes, but Wiley says, no. She says, the things they would have done, had she gotten to be Wiley’s nanny. He tells her that she doesn’t have to pretend it’s not hard, but she says she has plenty of time to be sad and miss Wiley. She refuses to waste tonight. The point of a going away party is to celebrate the person while you still have them. So she asks again, where do they start? Chase says, dinner, and Willow hands Wiley to him. He says, Wiley is getting big. Truth!

Done with feeding Wiley, Chase thinks Wiley got more on himself than in his mouth. Willow says, that’s half the fun of eating. He says, next up, bath time. She asks how he knew, and he says, lucky guess.

Lucas does some heavy breathing, and Carly asks, when he says Wiley is Michael’s son, is he saying Michael has a son he doesn’t know about, or is he saying Wiley is Jonah? Lucas says, he’s Jonah, Michael and Nelle’s son. She asks how he knows this, and he says Brad told him. Right before the accident, the last thing Brad said was, Wiley’s not the baby they adopted; he belongs to Michael. He’s Lucas’s nephew. Carly asks Brad if he wants to explain how they’ve been raising Michael’s son – her grandson – for the past year and a half.

Jason tells the guy to call his man to come out there. The guy says Jason is digging his own grave, and calls to a guy I’m calling Dingus, since that’s what his name sounded like, and somebody needs a name here. The guy says he needs Dingus out front. Dingus comes out, and Jason says, hands up, walk over there. Dingus does as he’s told, and Jason says, on his knees. Jason ties him up, and the first guy asks if Jason is going to execute them. Jason says, not him. He needs them alive as witnesses.

Cyrus tells Sonny, it’s not just him. Sonny will have his overseas partners to contend with. Sonny doesn’t think they’ll focus their anger on him. Cyrus botched a $20 million shipment; it’s a significant loss. Cyrus says Sonny will have nowhere to sell it. If he does, what distributor would take a chance on merchandise stolen from him? Sonny asks, who says he’s selling it?

Curtis tells Jordan, things were fine before her former partner showed up. She’s been all over the place since Taggert got there. He talked to Taggert, because he wanted to get answers, and Taggert told him to talk to her. When he was going to do that, he found her in Taggert’s arms on Pier 55. Don’t deny it. She says she won’t, and asks if he’s following her. He says, not her; Taggert. Tell him what the hell is going on. She and Taggert are more than partners. She says he’s wrong, and jumping to conclusions. He tells her, help him jump to the right one. She says it has nothing to do with him. He says, that’s not an answer. He knows her, and knows there’s something she’s not telling him. She says, it’s the nature of her work, and he says, since when? She says there are things she can’t tell him. Sorry. He’ll have to trust her. Curtis says his brother took her on faith, and she cheated on him. So…

Willow tells Chase that she doesn’t know who got more wet, him or Wiley. Chase says Wiley can’t keep the water in the tub, and she says he’s the one who wanted to turn the boat around. He says, it was a police boat; how could he resist? They kiss, and she tells Wiley, we are fed, we are clean, we are almost ready for bed. Chase says he ordered food, and it should be there in 30 minutes. She says, no one goes to sleep without a story. Chase is pretty sure it’s illegal, and she says he would know. She asks if he’d like to do the honors, and he says, absolutely. He reads from Mother Goose: ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross, to see an old lady upon a white horse; rings on her fingers, and bells on her toes, and so she makes music wherever she goes. His phone rings, and he says, hold that thought. It’s Sasha, and Willow tells him to answer; they’ll just look at pictures. He asks, what’s up? and Sasha says they need him at the Corinthos house. She’ll explain when he gets there.

Carly says, when she thinks about it, of course (🍷). It was such a coincidence, Wiley and Jonah being born on the same day. Lucas was working, and Brad was on his own when he brought Wiley home. Brad says, yes, and she asks, what happened to Willow’s baby? Brad says he put the baby down to take a nap, and when he went to get him, he wasn’t breathing. Brad starts to cry, and Carly says, then what? He says he didn’t know what to do. Lucas was still in surgery. How was he supposed to tell him… Carly says they have to do this in order. Did Brad try to revive the baby? Brad says, of course (🍷). He tried CPR, but he was gone. He didn’t know what else to do next, so he got in the car to take the baby to the hospital. He knew he’d have to surrender the baby, and there would be an autopsy. Carly says, if he was on the way to GH, he’d have to take Route 31. What else happened? Michael flashes back to being trapped in his car after the accident, and Nelle telling him, she’ll leave it to fate. She says, remember, he brought all of this on himself, and walks away. Michael says, my God, and Carly says they need every detail. The car was headed to the hospital. What happened? Brad says he was crying too hard to drive. He couldn’t see and pulled over. He just sat there sobbing, and suddenly there was a knock on the window. He looked up. Carly says, and there was Nelle.

Curtis tells Jordan, he was out of line; sorry. She says, he should be. He says there was no excuse for that, but he can see something is bugging her out in a way he’s never seen before. It’s making him crazy worried. Just tell him. She says she needs a minute. Can he give her that? He says, for what? So she can dig herself in deeper, trying to fix this, when her man is begging her to let him help her? Take all the time she needs. He can get his own answers. He walks out.

Taggert says Mac knows how he feels about Sonny. He came there to keep an eye on things. Mac says he can use all the eyes he can get, and asks Taggert if he’d like to come over for dinner. Taggert says he’d love it, and Mac says, so would Felicia. He asks if Taggert doesn’t have anyone special in his life, but Taggert says, no one he can bring to dinner.

Cameron tells Trina, he’s liked Josslyn for a long time. She says, like when they were fake dating? When Josslyn posted pictures, didn’t he think she could see the look on his face? He says, he couldn’t say anything; he still can’t. What kind of sketchy creep hits on someone whose boyfriend just died? Trina says, it would be different if he was comforting Josslyn in her grief. Instead, he respected Josslyn, and was there when she needed him. He was a great friend. Now that’s a problem? He doesn’t get it. If he’s not careful, he’s going to miss his chance. What if Josslyn starts crushing on someone else? He asks what he’s supposed to do.

Willow reads The Cat and the Fiddle, and I say it with her, because I’m ridiculous that way. She tells Wiley, Chase had to leave, but Wiley was having fun with him. She was too. She has to admit, she likes having Wiley to herself one last time. Not that they won’t be seeing each other, but it’s not the same. Wiley Cooper Jones. If he only knew how happy he makes her. Her heart bursts every time she lays eyes on him. She’s his mom, and loves him so much. She’ll never stop, no matter where he lives, or how old he is. They’ll always be connected. I swear he says, I know. Wiley is becoming a tiny chatterbox. Willow says she knows he has great dads, but if he ever needs for anything, she’ll be there. Nothing and no one can stop her. She kisses his forehead, and says, hug? He leans in for one. This kid is too much.

Carly says, so good old Nelle came knocking on Brad’s window. Did she have the baby, or was she still in labor? Brad says, she had the baby, and Carly says Nelle was running for her life because she’d just tried to kill Michael. Was he aware of that? Brad tells her, Nelle said there had been an accident, and Michael was waiting for help. Carly asks, whose idea was it for him to take Michael’s baby, and for Nelle to take that poor little child. Brad says he couldn’t stand the thought of breaking… and she says, whose idea was it? His or Nelle’s? He says, Nelle. It was all Nelle.

Trina tells Cameron that he has to give Josslyn a chance to see him as more than a friend. He says, and she knows the perfect opportunity? She asks what he’d do without her. The winter formal. He says, that’s insane. He can’t ask Josslyn. Trina says she thought they were going together, and Cameron says, if they had no dates, they were going together. She says, did he ask anyone else? He says she told him to ask Josslyn, but Trina says, that would be crazy awkward. Cameron feels like he needs a translator  right now, and Trina says he probably does.

Mac tells Taggert to let him know what night is good. Taggert says, it was good seeing him, and Mac says, him too. Taggert says, the Sonny thing feels different this time, and tells Mac to watch his back. Mac says to do the same, and leaves. Taggert goes into Kelly’s.

Jason tells the two guys, what they do with what they’re about to witness is up to them. They can bring the bad news back to their boss, or run for their lives. It’s their call. Jason picks up his bag, and goes into the warehouse.

Sonny tells Cyrus that he has the shipment, and Cyrus won’t see it again. He imagines Cyrus’s partners are going to be unhappy. It makes Cyrus look bad, expanding the market without proper security. It’s probably best that he’s stuck in there; it’s where he’ll be safest. Cyrus says they clearly got off on the wrong foot, and Sonny says, did they now?

Carly says she can picture it; can’t they? Nelle told Brad that their horrible family was going to take the baby from her, and that the baby would be better off with him and Lucas, because Sonny is dangerous and wrong. Brad tells Carly, Nelle said they’d take her kid take away. Carly says she can almost give him the benefit of the doubt. Nelle probably said Michael died in the car wreck, since she left him for dead. So Brad was keeping the baby away from them, but when he knew Michael survived, Brad kept his son. How could he do that? Brad says, he was grieving too, and Carly says he let Nelle tell Michael his son was dead, knowing what that felt like. He’d literally just gone through losing a child, and willingly inflicted that on her son. Brad says he’s sorry, and Carly says, when Brad was at the hospital, and saw Michael holding a child Brad knew wasn’t Jonah, what was he thinking? How could he do that? Nelle is a deranged psychopath, but what’s his excuse? Brad says he’s sorry, and she tells him, stop saying that. He’s been lying for a year. If the truth hadn’t come out, he would have lied for the rest of Wiley’s life. That’s why he wanted to move to Portland, isn’t it?

There’s a knock at Willow’s door, and she says, dinner, but it’s Nelle. Nelle asks, where’s Wiley? and blows past Willow. Willow grabs Nelle’s hair, and pulls her back, telling her, get out of the apartment. Nelle asks if Wiley is in the bedroom, and heads for it, but Willow grabs her. Nelle says, let go, and they struggle. Willow practically throws Nelle across the room, but then Nelle gets Willow down on the floor, straddling her. Nelle punches Willow, and starts to strangle her, but Willow throws her off. She throws something at Nelle, and misses, and Nelle throws a wine bottle at Willow. It crashes against the wall, and Willow tackles Nelle. Nelle tells Willow, get off her, and slams the door shut. She punches Willow, and gets her onto the couch. Willow kicks her off, and grabs Nelle’s coat, saying, get up. She pulls Nelle up, and slugs her good. Wiley cries, and Willow gets distracted for a moment. When she turns toward the bedroom, Nelle hits her over the head with something.

Sasha thanks Chase for getting there so quickly. She says, he needs to hear this, for Willow’s sake. Carly goes to Michael, and says, oh my God. She knows how horrible it is that he lost a year with his child, but it makes sense. Wiley always looked just like him. His son is alive. Chase has come into the room, and hears everything. Carly says, all Michael has to do is go get him. Michael asks Brad if he has any idea how many lives he trashed and the pain he’s caused in the past year. Willow sacrificed and agonized over a baby that wasn’t hers. Lucas fell in love with a baby that’s not his. He was grieving, and his family was grieving, all because of Brad’s lie. Brad says, it was Nelle’s idea, but Carly says, they don’t care. He went along with the lie for months. How can he do that to the people he claims to love? How could he do that to Wiley?

Nelle looks at the passports, and hears Wiley on the baby monitor. She picks it up, and says, don’t worry, baby. Mommy’s coming.

Trina tells Cameron, try to keep up. If he takes her as a friend, Josslyn will be there. When she sees how fun, handsome, and charming he is, and the other girls are going gaga for him, there’s a strong chance her eyes will be opened. Since they’ll be at a dance, what’s more natural than him asking her to dance? And since he’s taking her as a friend, she won’t be offended. He’s welcome. He says, thanks. Does she think it will work? She says, there are no guarantees, but it’s better than sitting around wishing. Taggert comes in, and says he knows her, and Trina says, dad! She hugs him, and introduces him to Cameron. Curtis looks through the window.

On the phone, Jordan says she needs to see an inmate tonight – Cyrus Renault.

Cyrus tells Sonny, maybe there’s a way to negotiate. Sonny says, there’s nothing to negotiate. Cyrus’s shipment is gone. Sonny hangs up the phone, and gets up. Cyrus calls after him as Sonny walks out. In the hallway, Sonny smiles.

Jason comes out of the warehouse. He looks around, and presses a button on the remote in his hand. The building blows up, and he walks away.

Tomorrow, Lucas asks who else knew, Nelle tells Wiley that they’re going on a little trip, Sam says there’s something Sonny needs to know, and Cyrus says he wondered when he was going to see Jordan again.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

It was revealed the group was in Point Pleasant, which isn’t anywhere close to where I live. Thank God for small favors. They do have a fabulous boardwalk, and I have fond memories of visiting there as a child, since I had a great aunt with a summer house there.  Marge told Jackie about Jennifer ruining her bonding moment with Teresa, and said it wasn’t a competition. Jackie said Jennifer was a sh*t stirrer, and Marge needed to put Jennifer in her place. I could definitely see being friends with Jackie. She’s the Marilyn (from The Munsters) in this group. Melissa said Jennifer puts a negative spin on everything. Jennifer whined to husband Bill that her job was ten times harder than Marge’s. Jackie’s husband Evan arrived, and they got the party started.

They did Jenkinson’s boardwalk, and Teresa said she had come there in her 20s with her boyfriend. Joe #2 gave Dolores a hard time about David being absent, and said she should hook-up with Frank again. In Frank’s interview, he said he loved Dolores, but he couldn’t promise to be 100% faithful. His vice is women, and he didn’t want to take a chance. In Dolores’s interview, she said she and Frank had a connection and a bond, but when Frank had cheated during their marriage, she couldn’t get over the disloyalty. She could never go back to that. Joe #2 and Melissa took a walk on the beach, while the other women went shopping for souvenirs. In Melissa’s interview, she said, when she was a child, she came with her dad to the Jersey Shore. It’s where she partied, and where she fell in love. It’s where she came from, and who she is, and she’s proud of it. From the conversation they were having, it seemed like Joe and Melissa were leaning toward not having another baby. Jackie whined to Teresa that Marge was a mean girl when came to her. Dolores and Marge got something to eat, and Marge said she thought Jennifer should talk less, and think more, but Dolores thought Jennifer should get a pass.

The group had dinner at an upscale restaurant on the water. Teresa. Ate. Bread. The guys discussed going deep sea fishing, and Jennifer suggested parasailing. Melissa was more inclined to check out a mini-golf course she’d seen. Marge and Jackie were in for mini-golf, while Teresa and Dolores agreed to Jennifer’s idea. Melissa said one of her favorite restaurants was near the golf course, so they decided to meet there afterward for lunch. Melissa said she also planned on meeting with Danielle. She was going to tell Danielle that they don’t want her hanging around with them anymore, since she had a tendency to be violent. Marge suggested she and Jackie wait in a getaway car. They toasted to Dolores, and Jackie bet she could chug a beer bottle the fastest. And she did, although not everyone participated. Because she can’t help herself, Jennifer said, Jennifer knew how to suck a bottle, but won’t suck a d*ck. We flashed back to Jackie saying she’s not into that. Marge called the remark offensive, although I’d say it was more inappropriate. It wouldn’t have been as bad if it had just been among the women. Jennifer said it was a joke, and Marge brought up Jennifer interrupting her moment with Teresa. Jennifer said she didn’t appreciate Marge asking if she worked. She said she works a 14-hour day. She thought what Marge said was offensive. She didn’t know what kind of mother Marge was, but she was hands-on. In Melissa’s interview, she said Jennifer was in dangerous territory. You don’t question someone’s parenting. Marge said Jennifer’s only achievement was marrying rich, and she was lucky he’d stayed with her. Marge told Joe #3, let’s go, and they walked out, Jennifer yelling that Fred Flintstone wanted his outfit back, because Marge was wearing a one shoulder, animal print dress. Melissa, Joe #2, and Jackie split as well, since they had come in the same car. Melissa said they couldn’t get through a normal dinner. Dolores told Jennifer that she thought Marge misinterpreted her a lot. In her interview, Dolores said Jennifer wasn’t coming from a bad place, but didn’t know her audience.

Back at the house, Marge said Jennifer was an a-hole, and Jackie said, no argument. The next day, the plan was to cook whatever fish the guys caught, and everyone headed off to their respective activities. On the Ol’ Salty II, The guys drank the beer of New Jersey, Corona, while accompanying that with shots straight from the bottle. In his interview, Joe #2 said Bill’s wife causes a lot of trouble, but Bill was his man, and he dubbed Bill, Tony the Turk. On the way to the parasailing boat, Delores told Jennifer, if she effing landed in the effing cold water, Dolores would effing kill her. It was like a sentence out of a Quentin Tarantino film. On the boat, Jennifer confessed that when she’s nauseous, she burps profusely, and proceeded to do just that. In her interview, she said she’d rather have gas that way. The mini-golf course didn’t have windmill or alligator – it was literally just a mini golf course – so we were all disappointed. The parasailing looked like fun, with the women seated three across. It actually seemed pretty safe, so I’d give it a go. Marge said Melissa had a big day ahead, and Melissa said she wasn’t looking forward to it. She’d given Danielle the benefit of the doubt, but as time went on, she proved Melissa wrong. Jackie said Danielle knew Melissa could be her pass back into the group, and Marge said Teresa was weak. A relationship with Danielle wasn’t good for her. As they headed to lunch, Jackie said her strategy with Jennifer was going to be to drink and ignore her.

Jennifer came to lunch wearing her Sorry Not Sorry T-shirt. Melissa asked if she was trying to make a statement, and what she wasn’t sorry for. Jennifer said it seemed like her apologies didn’t mean anything, and Melissa said she loves a good apology, but Jennifer hadn’t given one yet. In her interview, Teresa said she didn’t think it was fair that Danielle should be barred from the group, but she was her own person, and was going to stay friends with her. Bill had to be carried in, and was put to bed. In Jennifer’s interview, she said she was glad he was trying to fit in, but she didn’t want him to embarrass himself. Personal chef Jamie arrived, and Melissa had to go. Joe #2 told her to be careful. That woman is crazy.

Melissa met Danielle at a restaurant with outside seating. Danielle said one of her daughters went to school in Monmouth, and she’s there often. She told Melissa that she’d never started a problem with her. Why weren’t they friends. Melissa said she went in with a clean slate. While Danielle did nothing to directly hurt Melissa, she did cause problems. She pulled Marge’s hair. Marge went to the hospital, and it was not okay. Danielle said Marge treated her like she was disposable, and she’d had enough. Melissa said, everyone… and Danielle asked if she was speaking for the group. Melissa said she spoke to all of them, and they don’t want her around. Danielle asked if that included Teresa. Melissa danced around the question for a moment, saying Teresa knew she was there, but she didn’t think Teresa was in her right mind. If Danielle is violent or vicious, it could affect Teresa. Danielle said they’d all had a lot to drink, and she was influenced. She was done when she’d emptied Marge’s bag, but Steven told her to pull Marge’s ponytail. Melissa was dumbfounded, since Steven was the owner who’d gone through changes during the fight. Apparently, this was one more change. Danielle said she hesitated, and then Teresa said, do it. We see a clip backing up what Danielle said, and Teresa saying, do it, do it, do it.

To be continued…

Next time – the season finale – Melissa tells everyone that Danielle said Teresa told her to do it; Teresa pitches a fit, complete with throwing stuff; and Teresa and  the girls visit Joe #1 in Italy.

📺 The new season of If Loving You Is Wrong begins on Tuesday, March 31st, and season premiere of The Real Housewives of New York starts on Thursday, April 2nd.

💃🏼 Tonight, Erika Jayne was a guest on Watch What Happens Live. She’s been playing the role of Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway, and she said every one of the Housewives had been there to see her. I thought that was like, the best compliment ever, and surprisingly supportive.

🏖 Walking the Board…

I’ll bet the mini-golf is a lot more fun here.

January 22, 2020 – When Will It End, Changes, You Can Dress Them Up, Soon To Come, Nora, Deckwads, More Goodbyes, Yet Another, Breaking Meghan, AMC News & Hazy


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

GH was once again preempted for what I like to call, oh my God is this guy still talking? At this point, I have no clue what’s going on with this it, and don’t think they do either. While yesterday’s episode was supposed to shown today, it was noticeably absent. The magic of the internet failed as well, since it was stuck on yesterday’s episode. If anything pops up before I go to bed, I’ll post it, but if not, here’s the link to yesterday if you didn’t catch it:


Here’s a kind of, sort of, not really explanation:


🤷🏻‍♀️ I am no good with a spontaneous change in schedule, especially if it involves free time. Not that there is ever any free time – it’s like extra money, always absorbed by a need. Since I went to bed at the crack of dawn, when I realized GH wasn’t happening, I figured I’d catch it online later, took a nap, and overslept. Then I made my uneventful attempt to find it, and realizing for a second time that it wasn’t going to happen, watched a documentary about Courtney Love. Very productive.

🏖 On The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa tried to guilt Marge about not inviting her to the Mother’s Day brunch. Jackie’s house in the Hamptons is gorgeous, and reminds me of some of the houses here. Not mine. Jackie talked to Teresa, saying Marge didn’t expect her to drop Danielle, but at least have her back about Danielle trying to yank out her ponytail. Marge told Teresa that Charles Manson never did anything to her, but she’s not bringing him into the friend group. This might have been a good analogy had Teresa known who Charles Manson was. In her interview, Melissa informed us that historical figures were not Teresa’s thing. I’m not so sure there’s much world knowledge that is her thing. When Marge demanded to know why Teresa didn’t tell Danielle to knock it off, it was too much for Teresa’s brain, and she had to walk away. It always amazes me how much these women pack for a weekend, but then again, I used to bring at least five pairs of shoes for a weekend at the Shore because you never know. Now I live here because I’m destined to live in tourist traps. But I digress.

The women went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. Not-so Juicy Joe called, and suggested Dolores find Teresa a doctor, so he and Teresa could have a relationship like Dolores and Frank. Teresa told the women that he’d also said she had too much baggage for any man to want her. Jackie talked about her husband signing a prenup because she has family money, which led to Jennifer pumping Jackie for financial information. The next day, they went shopping, and Jennifer split off with Marge to find a gift for Marge Sr. Jennifer told Marge she thought Jackie was stingy, based on the fact Jackie didn’t throw ostentatious parties for her children, and just had pizza like a normal mom. The group reconvened for lunch, and as soon as Jennifer went to the bathroom, Marge had to tell Jackie about the stingy comment. When Jennifer came back, after she got over being blindsided, she told Jackie to take the stick out of her ass and enjoy life. She felt Jackie wasn’t making her children’s experiences memorable. In her interview, Jennifer said if she was getting thrown under the bus, she was taking Marge, and pointed out that Marge said Jackie doesn’t eat. Marge immediately apologized, which Jackie said was the difference between a friend and an a-hole, but Teresa felt a friend should speak their mind. Jackie suggested Jennifer not come to any more of her parties if she was so bothered. Melissa said Jackie was a saver, and to watch whose kids were nicely set up years from now. Of course this was in a restaurant where people were watching, and ended with Jennifer tossing glassware, and Melissa getting to her feet. To be continued…

📺 On last night’s HAHN, an ad for the new season of If Loving You Is Wrong said, coming soon. Whatever that means. I suppose it all depends on your definition of soon. The definitive word on The Shahs of Sunset is that returns on Sunday, February 9th at 9 pm. You can read all about the coming drama here:


🗽 I caught Awkwafina’s Nora from Queens, and loved it. Reminiscent of Margaret Cho’s All American Girl, but grittier and with more weed.

🛥 A Nail Gets Hit On the Head…

I couldn’t believe what an accurate description this was of the d-bags dudes on Below Deck. Not Captain Lee – it’s never Captain Lee. The best quote: Kevin’s back went out because his skeleton can’t even support all the sh*t he talks. Sounds about right.


🌠 Because It’s Hard To Let Go…

Another roll call. I don’t know why, but I can never get enough of these.


👋🏽 And So It Begins…

One for the coming roll call. Blessed are the cheesemakers, and RIP Brian’s mom.


👠 Lookin’ Bad As Hell…

Girlfriend needs to pull herself together, eat something, and dust her shoes of this guy for good.


🎭 Like It’s Not Crowded Enough…

It’s like feast or famine with the programming. Right now, Tuesday is a battlefield, and it looks like Sunday will be joining it soon. Fans of the Dead will be thrilled, but AMC has some great entertainment to come in general. I am wondering how NOS4ATU got another season though. Not that it wasn’t good, but I thought that was the end of the story.


❄️ Still Waiting…

I feel like Charlie Brown on Halloween, everyone gets snow, and all we get is a lousy bag of rain.

April 30, 2019 – Lulu Films Ryan’s Obsession, Dorit Won’t Budge, Ben Trashes Randal’s Place & Long Winding Week


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sorry, missed the first minute or two.

Stella finds Jordan unconscious. She asks if Jordan can hear her, but there’s no response.

Elizabeth tells Finn that she hasn’t heard from Hayden in quite a while. Why? Finn says there’s something he wants to tell her. The last number he has for her is disconnected. Stella calls for help, and Finn and Elizabeth run to her. Finn takes a look at Jordan, and asks for a gurney. He asks Jordan if she can open her eyes.

Curtis says, so Timmy doesn’t remember the name of the woman who hired him? Timmy says, offered to hire him. They didn’t exchange names. She was hanging out by the docks, and he found her there. Curtis says, it’s a small town. He was under the impression that everyone knew each other. Timmy says she was obviously not from around there. Curtis shows him the money.

Ava answers her phone, and says she can’t hear them. Who is this? Mac takes the phone, and asks who it is. He says, okay. No problem. He tells Ava it was a wrong number. It sounded like the woman was near a shipyard, which was probably why Ava couldn’t hear her. He thinks he scared her.

Doc tells Ava, it’s all right, but she says, a wrong number to a blocked line after the video was posted? She doesn’t think it’s a coincidence. Doc says, Occam’s Razor. In the absence of other evidence, the simplest explanation is the most likely.

Shiloh shows Sam his office, and says, nothing of interest. She asks why it’s locked. Isn’t DOD’s main tenet transparency? The full truth, no matter what the cost? He tells her office contains DOD’s chronicles, and it would be inappropriate to share them with her. She understands, and asks if the Trust members are allowed in. He says Trust members are afforded special privileges, and tells her that she needs to temper her inquisitive nature with patience. She says it means so much that she’s worth consideration. She wants to prove herself to him any way she can.

Valerie makes a call, and tells someone she’s getting creepy calls from a blocked number. She thinks her ex might be stalking her. She says, it’s not an official police request. She wants to keep it on the DL, but thinks they should be able to trace the call. She thanks them.

Alexis asks how long before she’s arrested for conspiracy and kidnapping? Sonny says he’s not the one who left his phone so Kristina could get it. Alexis says, sorry. She’s not experienced in kidnapping. Neil says Kristina wasn’t on long enough to tell Valerie where she was. Alexis asks what she said, but Neil says it’s privileged information. She asks if he doesn’t think the lines are blurred at this point. It would help to know what she communicated. Neil says they need strategy for their next session, but Alexis isn’t sure there will be one. Now that Valerie knows what’s going on, she thinks their time is about to be up.

Franco tells Drew it’s no secret the Quartermaine’s hate him, but he wanted to pay his respects to Oscar. Realizing his wording isn’t the best, he fumbles around, then says he’s the worst at this. Drew says he’s doing great, and tells him to go back inside. He says everyone in there hates him. He thought he’d just drop this off, and run away. He gives Drew a wrapped canvas, and Drew asks if he can open it now. Franco says he can hang it in Oscar’s room while he’s staying there. Drew unwraps a painting of a sunset with a tree in the foreground. He asks if Franco painted it. Franco says it’s kind of a departure. He had some paintings in the basement that Oscar and Cameron saw, and Oscar really liked that one, so he wanted him to have it. Drew thanks him, but Franco says, it’s just a gesture. He wishes could do something that counted. He’s sorry. Drew is too.

Curtis tells Timmy that he can have all of it if he tells Curtis what he needs to know. Was the woman American? Timmy says it didn’t sound like an American accent. He noticed a bumper sticker on her cat that said, North Madison High School, Class of ’94. It’s a few towns over, and this isn’t a destination for them, unless there’s something they have that the people can’t get there.

In a hospital bed, Jordan opens her eyes. Stella tells her, relax, and Jordan asks, what happened? Elizabeth says she collapsed, and Stella found her. Stella says she picked a fine place to faint. Finn comes in, and Stella and Jordan thank him. He’s glad she’s awake. He’s going to be the consulting doctor on her case now. Stella says he’s an infectious disease specialist, and he says her body is reacting to an infection in the remaining kidney. She asks what the course of treatment is. He says she’s allergic to penicillin, so they’ll try a different antibiotic, and see if it’s affective. Stella asks what happens if it’s not.

Sam says Shiloh told her that she might be ready for the next level, and he’d contact her. Shiloh asks if she’s being impatient. She says, maybe, but she wants him to know she’s willing and ready. Mark asks if he’s interrupting, and Shiloh says, no. Mark says he got distracted talking to other members, and asks Sam if they’re still on. He tells Shiloh that Sam offered to go to lunch with him, and help him choose courses. Shiloh tells them to go. He’ll talk to Sam later.

Neil tells Alexis and Sonny that he wants to talk about how they’re going to approach Kristina. The technique is called motivational interviewing. They can’t criticize DOD or the members. Kristina is too wrapped up in it, and if they criticize the group, they criticize her. The goal is to get her to realize for herself that DOD can’t meet her needs. Sonny says the sooner they clear Kristina’s head, the better. There’s a knock at the door, and Alexis answers.  It’s Valerie and Chase. Valerie asks if they can come in.

Alexis ask to what she owes this unexpected pleasure. Neil hustles into another room. Valerie tells Alexis they want to talk to her, and Alexis asks if it’s official business. Do they have a warrant? Chase says there’s no need for one; they just have a few questions. Alexis says she’s in the middle of something, but lets them in. Valerie says she didn’t expect to see Sonny, and he says, likewise. Alexis says they were just going over some legal business. Chase asks if Diane is indisposed, and Sonny says he has different lawyers for different business. And I say, man, for this being unofficial, they sure are nosy. Valerie says Alexis claimed Kristina was out of town visiting a friend, and clearing her head, but she got a call from Kristina from an unknown number. She had the call traced, and the phone is registered to Alexis.

Finn says, most patients respond well to antibiotics, but Jordan says, most patents have another kidney to fall back on. Finn suggests they not get ahead of themselves. Stella tells Jordan that she’ll give her some privacy to get settled. Jordan says, give it to her straight. If can’t beat the infection, what does it mean? Elizabeth gives her something to make her more comfortable. Jordan says, hopefully, the antibiotics will clear up the infection overnight, and no one will need to worry. If that happens, she’ll be an anomaly, since it usually takes at least a week. Curtis calls, but she doesn’t answer.

Timmy says Curtis promised him a hundred dollars, but Curtis says he asked for the name, not a high school in another town. He calls Jordan and leaves a message that he’s got a new lead. It might keep him out of town a while. He’d rather be with her, but hopes it leads to Ryan. I thought the high school was actually a pretty good lead.

Jordan tells Elizabeth, she might not want to be there, but she’s reasonably comfortable. Elizabeth says she couldn’t help notice that Jordan ignored the call from Curtis. Won’t he want to know what’s going on with her? Jordan says Stella probably already told him, but Elizabeth thinks he’d want to hear it from her. It’s our instinct to help the people we love, and the people we love are in the best position to help us.

Curtis starts searching online for the high school. Jordan calls, and he says he turned up something. He asks if it’s okay if he sticks around and follows up. She thinks he should get back, and he asks if everything is okay. She wishes she could say yes, but she has to tell him something.

At the MetroCourt, Lulu says Ryan’s memorial is getting a lot of views. Doc says, if Ryan is one of them, he believes they think he’s dead, and will come out of hiding. Felicia says, then he’ll do something rash, and make a mistake. Mac says, don’t count on the timeframe. He’ll need recovery time. Felicia says, don’t count on Ryan recovering. When he sees Ava is with someone else, he’ll come running. Lulu says they have to reinforce the idea Ava and Doc have bonded. Ava says, let’s do it, and Lulu takes her to where there’s better lighting. Felica tells Doc that Ava’s not the only one with a target on their back. What he’s doing is really brave. She hopes he’ll be ready for when Ryan returns.

Lulu asks if Ava is ready, and starts to film. She says this is part one of her exclusive interview with Ava Jerome, the object of serial killer Ryan Chamberlain’s obsession. She thanks Ava, and asks what she can tell the viewers about her relationship with Ryan.

Franco says he thinks he’s done there, doing the thing he does best, making everything worse, but Drew asks Franco to stay a while, and keep him company. He doesn’t need one more person who wants to put a positive spin on things. He might snap on them. His son is dying; there’s no positive there. He just found out he had a son, a piece of his past he can’t remember. The worst part is his son has worse, losing every inch of his future.

Valerie asks Alexis if she has any idea how Kristina was calling from her phone. Alexis goes into her purse, and says she knew it. She has Kristina’s phone. Valerie says, she had it without knowing? and Alexis says, it happens a lot. They have the same phone, model, and case. Chase says she didn’t notice? Sonny says Alexis avoids her cell phone. She forgets it or doesn’t charge it. It’s hella frustrating, and if you text her, you’re not getting one back. Valerie suggests Alexis activate the tracking on her phone, but Alexis says she already knows where Kristina is. Is she under investigation? Chase says, not at all. They just wanted to verify her whereabouts. Sonny says they know where she’s at. Alexis says they’re respecting Kristina’s privacy, so unless there’s a compelling reason, they’re not disclosing it. Valerie says they’ll be in touch, and they leave. Alexis asks Sonny what the odd are that they bought any of that. Sonny says, not a chance. Alexis is going to be under surveillance, and can’t go to the session tomorrow.

Lulu says, it’s tough to understand. Ava’s feelings for Ryan were genuine? Ava says, yes. He was there for her when she needed him. He picked her up when she fell off course. She had no idea Ryan was behind what happened to her daughter. She came to rely on him completely. The irony of all of this is, she thought it was Doc who she’d developed a deep powerful connection to. Doc, who accepted her as she as. He saw the good in her. Now she knows it was Ryan imitating his brother. That’s how she came to fall in love with him. She fell in love with a man pretending to be his brother. The real Ryan murdered her daughter. We see someone watching the interview. Lulu says, it must be hard to live with. Ava says, if there’s any silver lining, she’s not alone. There is someone Ryan hurt almost as much; his brother. His brother is remarkable. Now that she’s getting to know the actual Doc, not an impersonation, he’s a remarkable man, and an invaluable source of support. Lulu thanks her.

Mac says, Felicia has a point. If it works, Ryan is coming after Doc. Is he ready? Doc says he has to be. He wants to do whatever he can to capture his brother. Felicia says she wishes… never mind. Doc finishes, turned him in? So does he. He looks at his justifications and excuses, and can’t believe his arrogance and how foolish he was. Three people died because of him. His greatest loss was just as devastating other loss just as devastating. People lost their faith, trust, and belief in him as a friend. Mac says he can’t help anyone by being a martyr himself. Luring Ryan out is one thing, but being a target is something else. Doc says if it helps capture his brother, he’ll do it; no hesitation.

Lulu says, that concludes part one in the series, The Object of Obsession: Surviving the Monster I loved. Ava downs her drink.

Franco tells Drew not to let anyone tell him how to process grief; it’s different for everyone. He grieves every day, but doesn’t talk about it. What’s the point? He has to go through it. Go through the motions, and stay present for the people he loves and who say they care about him. He misses Kiki – until he paints. He’s waiting for the time when he sees everything Kiki accomplished and gave of herself. Someday, Kiki’s life will no longer be overwhelmed by her death. It will happen. It’s hard, but he does it because it’s what she would want. It’s slow going. Drew says, yeah. Franco says he’s making the worst of everything today, but Drew appreciates it, and says he’s been a lot of help. Franco says he’d like to be a help to Drew. He doesn’t always have to talk so much. Drew laughs, and Franco says they might not be blood, but they’re still brothers. He’ll always be there for Drew. Drew says he’s grateful.

Alexis tells Sonny, it’s not an official investigation, but Sonny says they suspect something is up. She’s in their sights, and can’t go to the safe house. Neil says he can’t stress how important is for them both to be there, especially her. She has the most contentious relationship with Kristina. It’s a critical time. Sonny says they’ll be trailing her with the phone, and they can’t risk it. He has experience distancing himself from cops. Alexis says, it’s not a bragging point. Milo calls, and Sonny has to go. Alexis asks what about Kristina’s therapy, and Sonny says they’ll discuss other options. He leaves, and Neil asks Alexis says, it could mean anything. He could put her in the trunk of a car to take her to the safe house, or take them all to a private island. Neil says, that would be a disaster. She says, the whole thing is. She asks which one of them is right? and Neil says, unfortunately, both of them.

Mark – who I didn’t realize is Milo, since he hasn’t been on the show since the earth cooled – says he’s sorry he pulled Sam away, but he had to make sure Shiloh didn’t catch her. Sam is glad he texted her when he did. She got distracted by something she found. She should have stayed on point. He asks what she found, and she says a picture of her and Shiloh that she didn’t know he was taking. Nothing damaging, but it reminded her that she can’t trust a word he says. Even if he believes she’s all in about joining the Trust, she needs to watch her back.

Shiloh goes into his office, and opens a file drawer.

Doc asks how it went, and Lulu thinks it was convincing. If he’s out there, they got his attention. Ava wishes everyone would stop saying if he’s out there. He’s out there. Now, the public needs to think she and Doc have actually fallen for each other.

In the fastest trip back from Canada ever, Curtis goes to Jordan’s bedside. Stella is so glad he’s back, and he says Jordan was just about fill him in on what happened. Stella says she found Jordan on the hospital floor, and called for help. Finn walks in, and she says he can hear the rest from the expert. Finn says, first, they have to see how Jordan responds to the antibiotics. If she doesn’t, given the condition of her remaining kidney, she’ll need a transplant as soon as possible.

Franco finds Elizabeth at the reception desk. She asks where he disappeared to. He tells her that Cameron told him about Oscar liking one of his paintings, and he dropped it off at the Quartermaines. Elizabeth says that was generous, but he says it was just a gesture. He talked, and Drew listened, but he wishes he could help. Elizabeth thinks he just did. They hug.

Drew looks at the painting.

Valerie and Chase go to the MetroCourt for lunch. Valerie is surprised Chase wanted to eat there. He thinks they should eat some good food while they can, and drink some triple espressos. They’re going on a stakeout to keep an eye on Alexis. Maybe it will lead them to Kristina.

Alexis looks out the window. Neil says she has an elaborate tea collection, and she says she can never have enough calming tea. She doesn’t see anyone outside. Not that she would have. Neil says they have to try a different approach. They can’t risk leading the police to Kristina, and they’ll be monitoring Alexis; watching her every move. Alexis said they’ll be watching her car, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be following her.

Milo tells Sonny that he tried to keep Shiloh talking, but he got brushed off. Sam says, thank God that Milo texted her when he did, but It wasn’t a total waste. She knows where Shiloh keeps his secrets. Shiloh told her members of the Trust have more privileges. That means she’ll have to become a member, but she’ll do whatever it takes.

Shiloh looks at the picture of him and blindfolded Sam. He says he knows all of her secrets, and can’t wait to see what she reveals,

Tomorrow, Ned asks what someone is doing there, Drew says maybe Oscar isn’t fighting a losing battle, and Oscar tells Josslyn that he feels better.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika and LisaR drive to Erika’s friend’s studio, Merge. In her interview, LisaR says she loves their relationship. They built it over time; it didn’t just happen. There’s a survivor and hustler in Erika that she relates to, and she gets a kick out of Erika. She tells Erika about the TV show she did called Merge. In Erika’s interview, she says LisaR is fearless, and admits her faults. That’s a real friend. Not someone who will never admit they do anything wrong.

At the studio they get on the rowing machine. The instructor says LisaR’s ass is weak. In her interview, she brags about an exercise video she made ten years ago, and we see a clip. It’s not super professional. So what have you done lately? Cardigans? They do an exercise that actually looks harmful for the lower back.

LVP and Ken look at marble for the kitchen. It’s like a lumber yard, except there are huge marble slabs all around. Giggy! Puffy! In LVP’s interview, she says they’re in the middle of a kitchen remodel, and it’s getting expensive. She has to keep a lid on the budget or she’ll be in trouble. She says she’s going to choose the one Puffy lifts his leg on. Sure enough, Puffy pees, but she says that one isn’t quite right. She tells Ken that PK called her. We see a clip of them on the phone, saying they miss each other. PK tells her to have her people talk to his people. LVP says she is her people. She says it’s hard having a conversation about something you both disagree on. It just goes around and around. In her interview, she says she hasn’t seen Dorit since the wedding, and they all think LVP gave the story to Radar Online. If Dorit is going to call her a liar, there is no friendship.

Dorit needs a Beverly Beach office, and has designer Mat whip something up for her. She says she can’t operate out of her house anymore. She’s ready for the next level. Growing the business has been like having another child, and she loves that the kids can play together. It’s bigger and more gorgeous than most people’s apartments. PK arrives, and Mat is off to his next design emergency. PK tells Dorit that they’re having lunch with LVP. Dorit says she never thought something would happen and the friendship would be dissipated. In her interview, Dorit says they have a history. We see clips from the past, including LVP defending Dorit at a reunion. The loving part of her wants to make things right, but she’s not doing it at the expense of her integrity. PK says Ken wants to put things back together. Dorit tells him that his throwaway comment to Kyle was a tad insensitive. He says he’s happy to apologize, but he’s not discussing it for weeks on end. And they will.

In the car, Kyle tells Teddi that Sophia is coming home for weekend. She asks if Teddi has talked to anyone, and Teddi asks if Dorit reached out. Kyle asks if she’s wrong, and we flash back Teddi saying anyone who knows Kyle, knows she would be hurt, referring to PK’s remark. Kyle says it cost her friendship with LVP. He implied she did something wrong, when she spoke up and told the truth. He should be thankful. She says she’ll survive. They park the car, and walk around Lake Hollywood. Deer! Kyle says this is what she loves about living in LA. Like you can’t see wild animals anywhere else. Teddi says she loves doing things she wouldn’t normally, like the RV trip. She doesn’t know how far they’ll get. it’s the size of a tour bus. Kyle jokingly asks, how many bedrooms? In her interview, Teddi says she loves camping. It’s living the simple life, even if it’s only 24-hours. Kyle says they’re the only ones who think it will be fun. In Teddi’s interview, she says she’s trying again to take them out of their comfort zones, and see if they can relax together. The worst case, one of them doesn’t make it home. She and Kyle take a selfie with the Hollywood sign in the background.

Denise meets Camille for lunch. Camille tells her that it’s been a hectic time; raising teenagers, and blending a family. Denise asks if she feels differently about getting married now. Camille says it was David’s idea to have a big wedding. She wanted something small, but she’s glad she agreed. In her interview, Denise says she and Camille met when Camille was married to Kelsey, and they’ve compared notes on public divorces. They’re definitely survivors. Denise asks how the concert was, and if she needs a drink to hear about it. Camille says she might, so Denise orders a martini. Camille says the concert was great, but afterwards, PK said something to Kyle backstage about how she can’t keep a best friend. Dorit tried to explain later, but Teddi jumped in. She feels like Teddi is a bit of a know-it-all. In her interview, Camille says, Teddi needs to take a seat. Her youth is getting the best of her, and she sounds like an entitled millennial. She tells Denise that she’s getting to like Dorit more, but thinks something is off. Denise spaces out as Camille talks about everyone. In Denise’s interview, she says Camille wont shut up. It’s making her feel like Camille will be talking about her next. It puts her in a compromising position. She loves everyone, and doesn’t want to tell them what Camille is saying. She doesn’t want everything to blow up. She asks Camille if everyone is going to be fighting on the RV trip. Camille says, it’s going to be the RV from hell.

Aaron and Denise watch the sunrise while having coffee. In Denise’s interview, she says they wake up at five am, have a little hanky-panky, get the kids ready, coffee, gym, and get the kids off to school.

Kyle makes Portia breakfast, leaving it on her bed. She tells the dogs not to touch it, which would be meaningless in my house. In her interview, she says they’ve always done attachment parenting, and Portia still sleeps with them at ten-years-old. Okay… She says they want it, need it, and they’re happy. Okay… again. She doesn’t think she’s spoiling Portia. She’s just taking care of her. It’s her job. Just a thought, but her kids also seem to have a hard time leaving home, and part of a parent’s job is to prepare them for that. Maybe they’re a little too attached.

Denise says her girls love Aaron, and like his cooking better than hers. Parenting teenagers is challenging. The girls fight over who’s wearing whose clothes. In her interview, Denise says they’re pushing the boundaries for independence, and it’s hard to figure out what battles to pick. Sometimes it’s better to let them work it out. There’s no real handbook.

Kyle thinks it’s important for children to know they’re the most important people in your life.  Her world revolves around them. Kyle puts Portia’s socks on her, as Portia picks at the tray. Omg, I was getting myself ready by the time I was eight.

At Villa Blanca, LVP tells Ken that Dorit and PK are coming by. Since they’re not open for lunch, Ken suggests getting sushi. In her interview, LVP says the lunch might be a conduit for putting the friendship back together, if they can find a middle ground. If Dorit says she believes LVP, they can move past it, and be in harmony again.

PK insists this will make things better. Dorit says she still has be true to herself. Friends can have a difference of opinion, but if they both want to find a way to move forward, they can work it out. PK wants them to find a compromise, and is leaving that to them.

The restaurant is all decked out for a celebration about gay rights in India, where homosexuality has just been decriminalized. Puffy! They sit down outside, and PK says it was cold this morning. LVP says she’s felt frozen out for a few weeks. They clink glasses, and Dorit wonders why LVP doesn’t seem very welcoming to her. LVP says everybody is focused on the Radar Online article. Dorit asks why LVP called TMZ instead of calling her, and saying it’s not true. LVP thought it would make a bigger statement. In her interview, Dorit says LVP should have called her to see how she was doing, instead of telling TMZ it was an outrage. Dorit tells LVP that they don’t talk via the media. LVP says one day Dorit is going to realize she was defending her, but she’ll find out too late that LVP was in her corner. In Dorit’s interview, she thinks LVP planted a false story, and then swooped in and defended her. LVP wants to say she was the one who saved Dorit. Dorit says it’s difficult to believe LVP didn’t do it. LVP says if Dorit believes she gave the story to Radar Online, they don’t have a friendship. Does she want LVP to take a lie detector test? PK wonders why they can’t just say things got effed up, and move. Ken says they can only move on if Dorit understands LVP didn’t lie, and is the best friend she’ll ever have. If she doesn’t, there’s no friendship. PK says Ken is trying to control their thoughts, but Ken says he’s trying to convince them that LVP is the most honest person they’ll ever meet. In LVP’s interview, she wonders why Dorit would want to have lunch with a liar. She wouldn’t want to be friends with a liar. Why would they? Dorit says she can’t believe LVP wants to throw away a friendship that she thinks is stronger and more powerful than this incident. LVP says everyone is bringing the gavel down on her just because they want to believe something. Dorit says LVP can say it happened, but Dorit loves her enough to put it behind her. Ken says she’s still saying she doesn’t believe LVP. Dorit says they can agree to disagree, but Ken says they can’t. PK thinks they’re looking at it too black and white. Ken says he knows PK is trying, but his wife isn’t. If she thinks LVP is lying, they can’t be friends. Dorit says she can only hear that someone doesn’t want to be friends with her for so long. PK believes someone in LVP’s camp leaked the story. LVP swears on her kids’ lives that she didn’t, and doesn’t know who did. PK accepts that, but Ken says his wife doesn’t. PK says he’s a trusting and forgiving person, and he can’t control his wife. Dorit says he’s asking her to dig deep, and not be true to herself. PK says he believes LVP. Dorit says, it’s painful. She cares about the friendship, but believes LVP had something to do with the initial story and the Johns. Ken says he’d like to be friends with PK, but… He and LVP go inside.

PK tells Dorit that she wasn’t helpful. She doesn’t think it’s fair. She doesn’t want a conditional friendship. Inside, LVP tells Ken that she doesn’t care. Dorit comes in, and tells LVP that she respects LVP and loves her. LVP wonders how, since friendships are based on honesty. Why would she want to move forward with someone she thinks lied to her. She gives Dorit cheek kisses, and says she loves her. Dorit wonders how she can say that, and LVP says, actually, she doesn’t. This is the first time she’s lied. In Dorit’s interview, she says it’s clear that LVP is still holding a grudge about Dorit saying she’s needy, and needs attention. We flash back to Dorit saying just that, and that LVP’s parents didn’t fulfill her love and attention needs. She says she apologized seven million times. We flash back to that too, but’s it’s more like three times. She says, it’s payback. Remember last year? There you go. A huge question mark hangs over my head about how she came to this conclusion. LVP tells Ken it would be easier to address Congress than talk to that bloody cow.

Yuk! Kyle cuts Mauricio’s toenails. She says as long as her husband is in the house with her, her job will never be done. A photographer comes to take holiday card photos. In her interview, Kyle explains that when she was growing up, her mother always did photo cards. They weren’t professional, but when she had kids, they became a big thing. And she’s going to keep doing it when they have kids. She asks if this is the most Sophia has slept since she went off to college, and Sophia says, yes; she goes to bed at 6 am. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’d worry if she didn’t think Sophia was a responsible kid. The equipment is set up. Kyle goes to get dressed, and tells Mauricio she needs him in jeans and a white button-down shirt.

Everyone sits on the stairs, and gets ready for the photo. Kyle suddenly realizes someone left the gate open, and they all run outside. Romeo is on the loose, and Kyle drags Storm back to the house. In her interview, Kyle says she always feels that her life is like Whack-A-Mole, and I totally relate. Somehow, the photos get taken.

In Teddi’s interview, she says her M.O. for having a catered dinner where the women are taken care of is – news flash – when they go camping, they’ll have to do it themselves. LisaR can’t believe the RV sitting in the driveway. She’s stressed out about it. In her interview, she says she doesn’t like to be uncomfortable. We flash back to her aversion to Harry’s tent. And that’s not a euphemism for anything. She says she doesn’t like to be trapped with anyone, and feels like she will be. In Kyle’s interview, she says she doesn’t like the awkwardness with her friends. She doesn’t want her anger toward PK to trickle down. She thinks she had every right to be angry.

Kyle says there are three tents with room for two and the RV. She’s assuming LVP isn’t coming. Teddi says she didn’t hear from her about tonight, and asks if anyone has talked to her. Erika says LVP texted her about the celebration of Indian gay rights. We see clips from the party. Ken dances with Giggy. Dorit says she and PK had lunch with LVP and Ken. The essence was that either Dorit believe LVP had nothing to do with the article, or they’re not friends. Everyone gasps, and this is so shocking, why? Denise says LVP needs to apologize, and Kyle asks if she’s a comedienne now. In LisaR’s interview, she says, you need to realize you can’t be perfect, and LVP can’t do that. Kyle asks why Dorit is trying so hard. Erika asks how PK feels, and Dorit says PK is the eternal optimist, and wants to continue trying. Kyle brings up PK’s remark to her, saying one of them should have called her. Dorit says PK didn’t mean anything by it, and he apologized to her. Kyle says it wasn’t really an apology. We flash to PK saying, sorry, it was just a joke. Dorit says PK wants to continue to be friends with Ken and LVP, and she’s the one who got tossed aside. Erika asks how that’s working at home. If it was Tom, she’d be showing up there. Dorit says the friendship isn’t more important than their marriage. Kyle thinks something else is going on. In her interview, Kyle thinks it’s odd that PK is protecting the friendship. Maybe it’s business or London secrets. She can’t put her finger on it. It’s probably nothing except he doesn’t want to lose his friends of thirty years. These women are so ridiculous. Dorit says, it’s a deep friendship, and Kyle says she’s better friends with LVP than PK. Dorit knows Kyle thinks so. Camille says she never heard about Dorit and PK until two years ago. Dorit says the people who have known LVP and Ken for thirty years know them. In Erika’s interview, she says here they are again, with these two arguing about who’s a better friend to LVP. We see a clip of the Dorit-Kyle-LVP triangle. Erika says LVP isn’t home worrying about either of those two. Dorit says their friendship isn’t based on whether Kyle heard of them. Kyle says friends know each other’s friends. Dorit says she doesn’t know all of Kyle’s friends, and Kyle says maybe they’re not that close of friends. Dorit can’t believe where the conversation is going. Kyle is hurting her, and she’s asking her to stop.

Denise says she can’t wait for the effing trip they’re going on. Ha-ha!

Next time, the RV trip – which is probably enough – grocery shopping, Teddi thinks PK is acting out, and Teddi confronts Camille about being two faced.

My two cents. I half-jest when I say LVP can do no wrong, but I totally get what she’s saying. If someone clearly stated they didn’t believe me about something – and this is kind of a big something – but still wanted to be friends, I’d wonder why too. What are they getting out of being friends with someone they think is a liar? It’s weird. I’m also with LVP on that I wouldn’t want to be friends with a liar. That’s actually a deal breaker for me. Obviously, it depends on the lie, but it’s definitely a cause for breaking up. She’s also not saying that someone from her camp didn’t leak it. She just doesn’t know who. Even Radar Online has said she had nothing to do with it. While they’re certainly not credible, the bottom line is, there’s no proof. There’s only a bunch of women speculating, with no real evidence. A guest on Watch What Happens Live tonight, Dorit said it was just a feeling she had. Dorit doesn’t get that LVP would always be thinking that someone who’s supposed to be her friend, believes she’s a liar.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Alex tells Ian to get off of her. He thought it was what she wanted, and she tells him, get out. He says, okay, Jennifer, and she says her name is Alex. He says she really doesn’t remember him? She sent him text messages. She says, it wasn’t her, and he says they met. They’re adults. If he’d known she was married, he wouldn’t have said anything. He was married too. She asks what he’s talking about. He says they met at the Maxine hotel. She told him about the break-up. She was so nervous, she kept looking over her shoulder. He doesn’t know why. She says, that never happened. He must be drunk; get out. He says he wouldn’t have said anything if he knew she’d be upset. He talks her down, and says he’ll take the divorce papers home, and bring them back tomorrow. She says he can call her with any advice; he doesn’t need to come. Well, she could do worse. He’s divorced. she’s about to be. and Marcie isn’t interested. so why not?

Eddie comes over to Lushion’s desk with to-go (empty) coffee cups. (I have this thing about actors not making it look like the cup is full. Where is the direction when it comes to this?!) Lushion says Eddie is a fool if he thinks he’s going to drink it. Eddie says he’s trying to be nice. Lushion says, no. Eddie doesn’t know how to be nice. What’s going on? Eddie says, when he’s being normal, Lushion thinks he’s up to something. Lushion says he’s always trying to raise hell. Eddie says, no secrets. He knows they’re FBI, and he’s DEA. They both want to take down the cartel. Instead of hiding stuff from each other, they should work toward a common goal. They should share information. Lushion likes it, and tells Eddie, go first. Eddie starts talking, and Lushion asks what this is about. Eddie asks why Lushion stopped asking him about Andrew. Lushion isn’t a quitter. Lushion asks if Eddie wants to tell him where Andrew is. Eddie says he knows as much as Lushion. He asks if Andrew is in protective custody. Lushion asks if he’s worried about something. He asks again if Eddie knows where Andrew is. Eddie says he has no idea. He came to extend an olive branch, and it’s not happening. He’s still trying to take Eddie out. Lushion says, with everything inside him. Eddie says, enjoy his latte, and Lushion dumps it in the trash. Eddie says, that’s $4.95, you son of a bitch, and leaves. Rick walks in and says he hates that guy. That was weird, Eddie was behaving like we’ve never seen him, and even his voice sounded different. What’s up with that?

Lushion tells Rick, join the club. Rick has something. He gives Lushion a file, and says he talked to Margaret. She gave him that. It’s a file of the women the church tried to hide, who were being stalked by Travis. Lushion says it’s exactly what they need. Will they talk? Rick says, they’re afraid to. Lushion says what they have should be enough. Rick asks if he can tell Kelly, but Lushion says, not yet. Rick says he’ll just tell her that they’ve got something good, and Lushion says, okay. He appreciates rick, and tells him, great work. Rick asks if he’s saying they’re going to get her off. Lushion says, they’re going to try.

Lushion calls Ian, and says he’s got something. Nine women who Travis stalked, and proof the church settled. Ian asks, how did he get it? and Lushion says, he got it. Ian says, does he know it’s legit? and Lushion says, he knows it is. Ian says it’s too close. If they go down that road, Larry already thinks it’s him. He’s still in, but has to think it out. Lushion says he’s trying to trust Ian. Be straight up. Ian says he’s in. Give him some time to figure it out. Lushion wants Kelly out, and Ian says he’ll call when he’s out of court. He asks how long Lushion has known Alex, and Lushion says, a while; why? Ian asks if she’s the type to step out on her husband. Lushion wonders if he’s asking if she’s available, but Ian says he’s just. Lushion asks him to come over with the kid lawyer later, and Ian says he’s on it.

Ian calls Carl, and says he wants to talk about a case. It has to stay very private. He knows Carl met with Kelly; it’s about her. Don’t tell a soul. He’ll text Carl with the address.

Rick beings Kelly some pudding. He says they got it. Several other women at the church, but they’re afraid to talk. Kelly says she could be stuck in there, but Rick says Lushion is talking to a lawyer, and they’re both going to talk to the DA. Kelly asks if there’s a chance they’ll know she’s not lying, and Rick says, yeah. She asks, how long will it take? He doesn’t know, but not long. They’re working on it. She thanks him for the pudding, and he thanks her for not hating him for not believing her. She says he didn’t know, but he says he should have; he’s an officer. Kelly says, she slept with him. She should have known. Rick says, it’s over now, but she says, no, it’s not. She’s in jail. He says they’re getting her out. She loves his confidence, and he says that’s how he feels. He tells her, if she likes pudding, she can always hit him up.

Dr. Raston calls Alex, to make sure she’s on time for the board meeting. In the time it takes for me to think, geez, she doesn’t ned a babysitter, the phone rings again. It’s Brad, who reminds her that he’ll be over today, and she needs to sign the papers. She says she hasn’t had a chance for the lawyer to look them over. He says he gave her 24-hours. Ooh, what a prince. She promises to sign them, and he says, nothing is changing. She has something to tell him first. He doesn’t care, but she says the baby’s not Randal’s. Brad laughs, and asks if she expects him to believe that. She thinks it might be his, and he says she’s out of her mind. There’s no way it’s his baby. Alex says the doctor told her sometimes genes skip a generation. He says there’s no one of that ethnicity in his family, and she asks if he’s sure. He wonders what kind of game she’s playing. She ask him to please double-check, and he says she’s insane. She better be there tonight to sign the papers. He hangs up, and Marcie asks what that was about. He tells her Alex says he’s the father. The DNA test said Randal isn’t the father. Marcie thought the results were switched, and Brad says he just wants the divorce. She’s out of her mind. He just wants to be free. Marcie says they’re almost there.

There’s a knock on Alex’s door. It’s Ian, who asks if he can come in. He promises whatever happened, it won’t happen again. He was drunk, and he’s very sorry. She lets him in. He tells her that Brad is pretty much taking everything. She gets the house, 50% of his income, and joint custody for two of the kids. He can get her more, but she says she only wants what’s fair, and Brad is being fair. Ian says, he’s only providing for two of the kids, and she says, it’s fine. She’ll sign. He says if she changes her mind, let him know, He’s really sorry, and asks her to please forgive him. He leaves, and she sits down.

Natalie gets the mail. Ben is driving by, and says, hi. She says she needed talk to him. He asks, what happened? and she says, nothing. His wife was saying Randal was looking into their house, and she was on her way to the store and saw him. He was looking with binoculars, and she wanted to let him know. He thanks her, and she says maybe they could close the curtains. He says his wife likes the light, but he’ll talk to Randal. Natalie doesn’t think that will do any good, but Ben says he can be convincing. She says she’s never known anyone who can stop Randal, and Ben says she’s never met him. She says, no, she hasn’t. She offers to get Lushion, but he says he’ll handle it, and thanks her.

Ben asks Tanya how she is, and sees the painting of Randal at the window. Ben says, it’s beautiful, and she says she’s been working on it all day. He asks what it’s about, and she says he’s just looking at the girl across the street. Ben asks if this really happened, and she says, no. He asks why the man is naked, and she says, he just is. She tells him that she made dinner. He looks beyond annoyed, and says he forgot something in the car. He leaves, picking up a spray can of paint on his way out the door.

Ben bangs on Randal’s door. There’s no answer, so he goes around the back, and kicks that door in. He grabs a bat, and goes absolutely apesh*t on the house. Throwing things out of the drawers, ripping up artwork, taking the bat to whatever is on the counters and tables, smashing things, and turning over furniture. There go a couple of glass tables. On the wall, he paints, bitch, next time I burn this down 😊 Smiley included.

At the meeting, Alex says Dr. Raston didn’t switch the tests. It was totally her. She lied to cover up something she did. The judge asks if she’d testify to that in court, and she says, yes. The doctor says, she also signed an affidavit. The judge says he’s heard enough; bring in Randal. Alex freaks, and Dr. Raston says he had to be a part of it. Larry comes in with Randal, and Randal says he’s going to fry this bitch for his pain and suffering. The judge says the board is satisfied that Dr. Raston did nothing inappropriate. He asks who the hell switched it, and Alex says they weren’t switched. Alex asks the doctor to explain it to him. The doctor says there were three remaining samples. No one switched the DNA. Randal asks, what went wrong? and she says there’s no way he can be the child’s biological father. Randal laughs, and says that’s why he’s suing the hell out of this place – for lying. Dr. Raston says he’s welcome to take the child to his own lab, and Larry asks to see the results. He looks over the paperwork, and Randal says, it’s his kid. Larry says he never saw a hospital put themselves under this much scrutiny. These tests are legit. He knows the hospital’s reputation. He asks if Alex would like to share., Randal goes cross-eyed, and guesses it’s not his baby. He says, okay, so she was cheating on him. He laughs, and says she’d do this to him. He starts getting manic, and Larry pulls him toward the door. He yell, this is my kid, and laughs some more. Larry pushes him out.

Esperanza calls Larry. She really wants the papers filed. He’s in his car, and says the office can file for her, but he needs to be present when she signs. She asks when Eddie will be served, and he says, today. He wants to make it easy for her. She asks if they can prepare them and shell call when she wants him to be served, but Larry thinks it’s a good time now. There’s a knock at door, and Steven comes in. She tells him that she didn’t want to talk at the station. She’s about to do something that could ruin Eddie. He’ll be mad as hell. She’s going to take full custody, and take his job away. He’s not going to take it well. Steven asks if she’s afraid of him, and she says, no. It’s how he’s going to act and react when he loses his job. Steven says it’s not her problem, but she says his job all Eddie has. Steven says, the guy is horrible, and she asks if she can count on him. He asks if she’s scared of Eddie, and she admits she is, a little. He’s going to flip out. Steven asks if Eddie has hit her, but she says, no. She just wants to know that Steven has her back. She asks if he’ll come with her to the courthouse, and he says, let’s go. She hugs him, and he says she’s shaking. She says, it never gets easier, and he says, that’s going to change.

Ben watches as Randal pulls in. Randal’s phone rings, and he asks what the hell they want. It’s Marcie, who says she heard it’s not his baby. How does it feel? She guesses he can’t make a baby either. How does it feel to lose every hope? He calls her an evil bitch, and she says, he’s the evil one. He’s the devil. Who was that whore sleeping with? He says she thinks it’s funny, and she says, yes. He has to live next door to her. It looks like now, neither one of them have kids. He says he just got started, and she says, her too. He hangs up, and goes inside.

As soon as Randal walks in, he starts yelling. He screams, Alex! although why he assumes it’s her and not Marcie, I have on idea. He paces around saying, are you serious? Stupid bitch! He says, okay. All right, bitch. He laughs, and says, you’re done. he paces some more, and storms out. Ben watches as Randal gets in his car.

Ian gives Larry some papers. Larry says Ian wouldn’t believe the day he’s having. Randal found out Alex’s kid isn’t his. Ian says, they had a kid? Larry says, so he thought. Today Randal found out that’s not the case, and he’s going crazy. Larry asks, what’s going on? and Ian thinks they have a problem. He thinks some officers are on to the settlement with the women in the church. Larry asks if Ian said anything, but Ian says, no. Lushion has been asking him to help Kelly out. Naturally, he said no, and Lushion said they’d found something. Lushion thinks he’s on their side, and he thinks he should play it in the middle. Larry says it’s hard to believe the loyalty is there if he is in the middle. He tells Ian, stay on top of it. Otherwise, it’s his ass. Ian says he’s all over it.

Lushion comes home, and tells Natalie that Ian and the kid lawyer are coming over. She needs to tell him something. Randal has been staring at the woman across the street with binoculars. There’s a knock at the door, and she says she’ll let him handle it. Ian comes in with Carl. Lushion tells Carl that he wants him to rep Kelly. Carl thought he didn’t want that, but Lushion says he changed his mind. Carl asks, what about Ian, but Ian says he can’t; there’s a conflict. Carl is going to walk into the DA’s office, lay out the evidence against Travis, and convince them to drop the charges. Carl says the DA is tough, but Ian says he’s tougher. He’ll give Carl all of his notes. Just pay close attention. Lushion tells him, just breathe. Ian says someone gave him a shot; now it’s Carl’s turn. They shake hands, and Carl leaves.

Lushion asks if Ian thinks he’ll be okay. Ian says, he’ll be fine. It’s textbook. The DA is a bulldog, but he’ll be fine. There’s a knock at the door, and this time it’s Brad, his lawyer, and Alex. They need a witness. Natalie tells Lushion that she said she would. Lushion didn’t know this was happening there. Alex signs, Natalie signs, and Brad gives the papers to his lawyer. He tells Alex, now she’s free to screw anyone she wants to. Randal or a random guy on the street. Don’t say that’s his kid again. She says he should take the DNA test, but he says he’s not doing a damn thing. He leaves, and Natalie says she’s sorry. Alex says she’s got to go, and Natalie promises to check on her later. Ian says he’ll see them later, and Lushion says he hopes it works. Ian says, it will be fine.

Alex cries on the way home, Ian runs after her. He asks how many men there were, and she says, excuse me? He asks how many men she slept with. She says, go to hell, and he says he knows it was her. He looked at all the profiles he got with a screen grab. It was her. He shows Alex her profile picture on his phone, and says, Jennifer. Is there any chance the baby could be his?

This was the finale. I think we’re going directly to The Haves and The Have Nots next week.

🚵 Like My Week…

And we’re only just starting day three.

April 23, 2019 – Shiloh Wants Sam to Shed What’s Between, Beverly Hills Meets Boy George, Who Is Jennifer & Late Earth


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Michael tells Kristina that he wants to be there for her, and asks her to come home with him. She says he doesn’t understand. She made a promise, and can never go back home. Alexis says, that’s not true; she’s stronger than she thinks. Kristina says Alexis thinks it’s so simple. She can just turn her back on DOD, and everything would be okay. Sonny asks why she can’t break away. Is Shiloh holding something over her?

Sam tells Shiloh that she’s ready to take the next step in her commitment to DOD. She wants to prove that her faith in him is as strong as his faith in her. He says, it’s almost time. Soon, she’ll take her place with him among the Trust. She asks what the Trust is, and he says his inner circle. The true part of DOD.

Chase goes into to Kelly’s with nuValerie. He sees Willow, and Valerie asks if he wants to order. He says he’ll have whatever. Valerie rolls her eyes, and goes to the counter. He tells Willow that he and Valerie are on the clock, but he missed her last night. What was she up to? Apparently getting a new hair color and cut.

At the hospital, Molly tells TJ that her sister is caught up in cult, and all she feels is dread. Curtis approaches with a quick question for the doc-to-be. He asks about a medication, and TJ says it’s an antibiotic. He asks about another one, and TJ says it’s an anticoagulant, and asks if someone lost a limb.

Laura goes to The Floating Rib. Felicia thanks her for coming. She thinks they need to clear the air Laura wasn’t aware the air needed clearing, but Felicia says it felt tense when they parted ways. Laura asks if she means when she and Ava proposed to use Ava as bait. Felicia says Ava can’t do it alone. She needs a new boyfriend to make Ryan jealous.

Ava tells Doc that they’re going to use his brother’s own hand to bury him. Doc says, Ryan is dead, but she says, he’s out there somewhere, waiting for his moment to strike, but she’s going to strike first, and Doc is going to help her.

Laura gets that Felicia and Ava want be proactive. It’s their right, but she’s just starting to put her life back together. She needs to leave Ryan behind. Felicia says, without knowing if he’s dead? Laura asks what the alternative is; to live in fear or consumed with revenge? Felica says, not revenge, justice. Laura says they’ll have to agree to disagree. Felicia takes out a journal, and says, you know what living in fear is? Read this.

Doc thinks it’s supremely unwise to engage his brother in a duel, but Ava says, it’s more of an ambush. He tells her, let the police deal with it. She says they’re not looking for him, the FBI has moved on, and the DA closed the case. It’s up to them. They need to spread the word that what’s left of Ryan is buried, and they’re moving on. Give him a false sense of security. Doc says he’ll come straight for her, and she says she’ll be ready. He says, Ryan will never fall for it, but she says, he will. He’ll be too focused on her, and the man helping her get over him.

Curtis asks if TJ has dealt with a missing limb, but TJ says it’s a guessing game they play. Did he guess right? Curtis says it’s privileged information related to a case. He’ll let TJ know when it wraps. Curtis asks about Jordan, and TJ says she’s not done with her treatment yet. He knows his mom is the queen of positive spin, and wonders if she’s as good as she says she is. Curtis says she was lightheaded, but that and fatigue are within the realm of symptoms. TJ says they can also be outside the realm, but Molly thinks if it was serious, Jordan would tell him. TJ asks if there’s anything Curtis isn’t telling him, and Curtis says there’s nothing he’s not telling him about Jordan’s health.

Sam asks Shiloh what she has to do. She’s more than ready. He says, soon, and she wonders why mention it if she’s not ready. Shiloh says, an aspiration. Sam says they have a connection, and are getting close. Try her. He won’t disappointed. She promises. Harmony comes in, and asks if she’s interrupting. Shiloh says they were just broaching the subject of the Trust. Harmony says, he told Sam? Sam asks if it’s a secret, and Harmony says it’s an invitation only membership. Sam asks how she gets an invitation, and Harmony says she has to prove her worthiness. Her journey has just begun, and her path is long and winding. Sam guesses that’s a no. She asks, who’s in charge? Harmony or Shiloh?

Willow says she has a friend who’s been studying, but isn’t sure that’s the path they want to take. Chase says it took a while before he decided to be a cop. Willow says, sometimes a commitment to anything is better than uncertainty. Chase says she’s a great teacher. She wishes she’d known that sooner, but he says she can use her experience to help her friend. She says her friend isn’t ready to hear what she has to say. Chase says, they will. Give it time.

Sonny tells Kristina that they’re all there help her. What does DOD have on her? Why can’t she walk away? She says she’s not scared. She can’t leave because it’s her home. They’re her family; a better family than this one. Michael says they all love her. She says they’re trapped in a prison of their expectations, and Alexis asks what that means. Neil thinks they need to take a breath, and asks Kristina to tell them more what she thinks their expectations are of her. She says they expect her to be a screw-up. They don’t trust her judgment. DOD sees her for who she is. Alexis says she’s acting like she didn’t exist before DOD; like nothing meant anything before. Kristina says she had no direction or purpose. She was lost, and DOD helped her find her place. She’ll be damned if she lets that go.

Doc asks if Ava wants him to pose as what? Her boyfriend? She says, confidant, lover; call it what he wants. All that matters is that Ryan sees he was replaced. Doc says, he’ll never believe it. She says he’ll never believe Doc swooped in to comfort his brother’s obsession? It will work. Doc says, it’s ill-conceived. Ava says, worst case, Ryan is really dead, and they’ve wasted their time. Doc says the worst case is failure of imagination. Say, for argument’s sake, Ryan is alive. He falls for the charade, slips out of her trap, and gets the drop on her. What does she think he’ll do? She could ask the dead women he left in his path, but she can’t. Ryan murdered them, and will murder her.

Laura says, it’s a dream journal, and Felicia says, nightmares. She had them after her first go around with Ryan, and for months after the fire. Tom Hardy thought a record would help her confront her fears. Laura asks if it helped, and Felicia says, it was a start. A manageable way for her to start talking about her feelings. Laura thanks her for sharing her personal feelings; she’s honored. Felicia says, there’s more where that came from. They cropped up again when the press about the twenty-fifth anniversary started. She hasn’t had a night without one since learning Ryan was alive. Lulu might want to keep a journal too.

Willow tells Chase, sorry. They could have hung out, since her friend couldn’t see her. He says, tonight? She thinks that’s good, and says she’ll get back to him. Valerie returns, and Chase introduces them. Valerie says they met briefly on New Year’s Eve. Chase suggests she make sure the car is still there, and she says she’ll do that. He tells Willow that he has to run, but if she needs someone to talk to, a sandwich, or moral support, call him.

Alexis tells Kristina that her so-called friends aren’t helping her find herself. They took advantage of her. Kristina admits she was at a low point when she ended things with Parker, but they showed her not to wallow in it, and gave her a way out. Sonny ask, at what cost? Kristina says, no price is too high. Neil asks if she’s happy, and she says not much, since she’s been kidnapped. He says, outside these walls, is she happy in DOD? She says happier than she’s ever been. He asks if she sees herself being happy ten years from now at DOD. She doesn’t see why not, and he asks if she can describe her future. Alexis asks where she’ll be living, and what she’ll be doing. Kristina says she’ll be doing good works, and spreading Shiloh’s lessons wherever they’re needed. Sonny asks if she wants to teach someone else’s lessons her entire life.

Shiloh wants Harmony to look for their friend (i.e. Willow). Harmony asks Shiloh to wish her luck, but he says luck is a lie. All she needs is faith in herself. He touches her heart, and concentrates. He tells her to take all her nerves and unease, bundle them in the palms of her hands, and give it to him. He can take it; bear her burden. She puts her palms on his chest. She thanks him, saying she’s recovered her strength to do what needs be done. He says she can do it, and she leaves. Sam asks what that was about, and he says she’s awfully inquisitive. He thinks it’s time they remedy that.

Alexis doesn’t recall Kristina ever wanting a job of service. She wanted to be a dancer, and was dedicated to that. Michael says he went to every recital. Kristina says, that was a hobby, not a calling. Neil asks if she still dances, but she says, only in clubs. Michael asks when was the last time she did that, and she says she has other priorities. Sonny says she was interested in the coffee business, and came to him with ideas about Perks. She wanted to learn the ins and outs of the business. Kristina says, so? and Michael says she liked it enough to go to business school, and wanted to intern at ELQ. Kristina says she was trying other things. Michael says he never thought she would limit herself. Neil asks if she can pursue a hobby, career, or relationship outside of DOD. Do they have room for her if she pursues something outside?

Outside Kelly’s, Valerie tells Chase the car is where they left it. He wants to swing by the DOD house. Valerie wonders why, and he says Shiloh is a real dirtbag. Valerie says she heard him speak once. Chase says, and…? She says she couldn’t agree more. Molly and TJ come by, and Valerie says, this should be interesting. She asks Molly how things are going with Kristina, and Molly says, things are going well. Kristina came to her senses, and left the DOD house.

Sam tells Shiloh that she didn’t mean pry; she’s just curious. He says she’s like him; searching and exploring. He didn’t mean to suppress her investigative spirit. The Trust is made up of DOD members, but there’s more to it than that. She says she wouldn’t wonder if it wasn’t a mystery. He prefers to call it intimate. The core members within it forge ideas. Sam understands why it has to remain exclusive, but Shiloh thinks she’d be an excellent addition. Sam says, Harmony didn’t think so.

Willow feels someone standing at the table, and says, back so soon? She looks up to see Harmony, who says, it’s been a long time… Willow.

Curtis tells Jordan that she just missed TJ and Molly. She asks about the stolen pharmacy items, and he says her brilliant son confirmed they’d be exactly what Ryan needed. They still don’t have much, and she asks about surveillance footage. Curtis says there’s nothing, but the pharmacy is in a remote location. He thinks Ryan is hiding somewhere nearby, and she says he needs to find out.

Ava tells Doc that Ryan thinks he knows what she’s capable of, but he has no idea. She can take care of herself. He says she’ll have to do it on her own. He has too much to lose. She says, like what? He’s a pariah in the town, GH shut him out, and he’s going to have a hard time finding new patients. Laura is done with him. Ava has a sudden realization, and asks if Laura has taken him back.

Felicia tells Laura that if Lulu is like her, she’ll be looking over her shoulder until Ryan’s death is confirmed. Laura says he’s probably at the bottom of Lake Ontario, but Felicia says they need to be sure. If he’s alive, their plan will draw him out. It’s their best shot at getting his victims and their families some measure of peace. Doesn’t she want that for Lulu? For this to work, they need her by their side, helping to paint the right picture for Ryan. They can’t afford to wait, because Ryan won’t.

Neil asks Kristina if belonging to the DOD community means she can’t commit to anything else. She says she’s fulfilled, and doesn’t need anything else. He says, that may change in the future. She says, the future is imagination. She lives in the present, and they refuse to look at that, because then they’d have to understand and accept what they’re doing to her. Alexis says she’s not free, and Kristina says she’s listened to what they had to say. Now she wants out.

Harmony asks if Willow is taking care of herself. She can’t see getting used to Willow’s new name, and Willow says it’s not like Harmony was the name she was born with. They take the names that suit them. Harmony says, names don’t mean much anyway. Willow can call herself anything, and DOD would take her back.

Valerie asks Molly if she thinks it’s okay for her to call Kristina. Molly says she can try, but she probably won’t pick up. She’s called Kristina a dozen times. Valerie ask where she is, and Molly says her mom said Kristina went somewhere to think and get her head on straight. Valerie says if Kristina checks in, tell her that she’s thinking about her. Molly and TJ leave, and Chase says, Kristina left DOD days ago. Valerie says, that’s great, and he says, as long as she left on her own.

Sam wonders when she can join the Trust, and Shiloh says, soon. He tells her, have patience. They’ll love and welcome her, but as the name implies, they’re bonded in trust with one another. They have to all agree to take her in their hearts, and she needs to prove she’ll take them into hers. She asks if that’s what he means when he talks about the Pledge.

Curtis says he need be there with Jordan. Jordan loves being with him, but she he doesn’t have to be constantly at her side. She can get through it on her own. She has the department behind her, and TJ and Stella will help. Curtis loves that she and Stella are on good terms. She says no one else is looking for Ryan, and she can’t use any resources. Curtis is the only one who can find him

Ava says Doc’s brother nearly killed Laura’s daughter, and she’s taking him back? He says they love each other, and they’re picking up the pieces. Ava supposes it helps that Laura’s daughter survived. Hers did not. She has no pieces to pick up, just a grave to visit. He’s truly sorry, but won’t shut out Laura again, not even to catch his brother. Ava says Laura would be in on it. Doc worked with her daughter at the hospital. He saw how bright and full of promise she was. His brother murdered her. If they have a chance to catch him, he doesn’t get to say no. He owes her.. He says he’ll owe her for the rest of his life, but hers is not the only debt he has to pay, and he won’t settle their account at the expense of his wife. He walks out.

Doc finds Laura at The Floating Rib, and she tells him that Felicia was trying to get her on board with their plan to flush Ryan. He says Ava tried to recruit him to pose as her new partner, so she can bait Ryan, but he said he wouldn’t do that to her. Laura’s phone rings, It’s Jordan, who says she might have a lead on Ryan. It’s not much, but worth looking into. Unfortunately, it’s in Canada. Laura says, it’s out of Jordan’s jurisdiction, but Jordan says that’s not the issue. However, she has someone to get him, if he’s there to be got.

Molly asks TJ, what’s wrong? TJ says she doesn’t want to know, but she’s asking anyway. He shows her some paperwork, and she asks if he stole his mom’s medical file. He says no; he copied it. Not the whole thing, just the analysis of her kidney function. Since she started dialysis, she’s been hiding something.

Willow tells Harmony that she’s not coming back. Harmony says she caused a commotion when she left. They searched high and low. Shiloh was surprised she was only as far as Port Charles. Willow says she’s happy. She has friends, a job, and a purpose. Harmony says DOD needs a teacher, and could benefit from her expertise. Willow says she teaches a real curriculum, not Shiloh’s beliefs. Harmony says Willow believed once, but Willow says, not anymore. Harmony asks if Willow knows how much Shiloh misses her.

Chase tells Valerie that Michael is worried about Kristina. She’s shut down since getting involved with Shiloh and DOD. He wonders why she’d suddenly take action after months of being in it. Valerie says maybe she called Michael when she left, and he asks, why not Molly, but Valerie says Michael is older and has more resources. Chase flashes back to Michael saying he can protect Willow because of his and his father’s connections and resources. He says what if Michael used them to take Kristina out of DOD. Valerie asks if he means kidnap her. Knowing Kristina, she wouldn’t take that well, and dig in even harder. She’d fight to go back. Chase says it could go sideways, and give Shiloh more leeway. Valerie says they can’t let that happen. They need to find her themselves.

Sonny says Kristina’s not leaving until they’re done. Kristina says they want to brainwash her, but Michael says that’s Shiloh’s M.O. They’re trying to wake her up. Alexis says Shiloh wants her dependent on him. He wants her to have no other choice but him. Kristina calls them hypocrites. She can leave when she wants. The only people holding her captive are her own family. She can’t do this. They said she could end it when she wanted. Michael asks if she has any idea where she lands after being in the Trust. She says they’ll celebrate her progress, and Michael asks, how? Kristina tells him, say it, and Neil says, enough. Michael says, damn right it is, and walks out. Sonny follows him out. Michael says he can’t stand seeing her like this. She’s not hearing them. Sonny says it will take a while to get through. Michael’s phone dings. It’s a text from Chase, asking him to meet at The Floating Rib. Michael says there may be another way. Inside, Kristina tells Alexis that they’re committing a crime. If they let her go now, she’ll forget it. If they keep her, when she gets out, she’ll have them arrested.

Shiloh tells Sam, when the time is right for her to join the Trust, the Pledge will be explained. She hasn’t completed her initial training yet. Sam says he always keeps her in the dark, and eager to want more. She’s only scratched the surface of his knowledge. He ask if she thinks she’s ready for the next step. She says she is, and he suggests they do it now. He takes off his shirt.

Ava tells Felicia that Doc turned her down flat. Felicia thinks he should do everything in his power to catch Ryan, but Ava says he won’t do anything to jeopardize what he’s got going on now. Laura took him back, and Ava doesn’t think Laura is going to let him go again, even if it’s just pretend. Not even if it helps catch Ryan.

Laura tells Doc, If Ryan is alive and out there, she wants him caught. Doc says, Ava’s plan is too dangerous, but Laura says, sometimes the best plans are. He ask what she’s saying, and she says, maybe Ava’s plan is not so crazy after all.

Curtis guesses he’s going to Canada, and Jordan says he won’t be gone long. It’s just across the border. He says it might as well be across the universe if he’s away from her. They kiss, and Curtis leaves. TJ sees Jordan, and hugs her. He’s like to have an honest conversation. Does she think they can do that? She asks, what’s going on, and he says he saw her records. He knows she’s in danger of losing the kidney she has left.

Kristina asks Alexis to trust her. Believe in her, and let her go. Alexis says she’ll go straight back to DOD. Kristina says that’s her choice. Make it stop now, and she’ll forget what happened. She doesn’t want to hurt Alexis. Alexis tells Kristina to do what she has to. So will she. Kristina is staying. Alexis goes outside, and tells Sonny that she had to get out of there. Neil says they have some work to do. Kristina reaches under the couch, and finds her phone.

Valerie goes to the DOD house. Chase calls, an tells her that he’s waiting for Michael. She says she’ll let him know what she finds. She gets an incoming, unknown call. Kristina says, come on; pick up.

Sam asks what Shiloh is doing. He says, revealing himself. Most people think the body is something to conceal. They have to get over that fear. Fears stop people from committing themselves. He asks her to reveal herself. What has she got to hide? He holds out his hand, and she takes it.

Michael tells Chase he couldn’t have better timing. He’s been thinking about Shiloh and DOD. Chase says, him too, and he’s been thinking about Kristina. What did Michael’s family do with his sister?

Harmony tells Willow that Shiloh wants her back. He loves and forgives her. Willow says she doesn’t forgive Shiloh – or Harmony. Harmony says she did nothing wrong. Willow says Harmony gave her over to Shiloh when her job was to protect her. Harmony is her mother.

Shiloh takes Sam to the attic. He says they’re going to shed what’s between; first, the physical, then the spiritual. Sam walks in, and he closes the door. Sam puts something in her waistband behind her. Shiloh stands there staring at her, while she starts to unbutton her shirt.

Tomorrow, Ava says Ryan is dead, Alexis asks who Kristina called, Shiloh wants to take it to the next level with Sam, and Sonny tells Jason to eliminate him.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Teddi and Kyle go to a place called Petite ‘n’ Pretty. Kyle says photographer Samantha reached out from Instagram for Portia to model a kids’ make-up line. Kyle says Portia is good at make-up, and would like to be a make-up artist or YouTube star. Teddi tells daughter Slate it’s for the shoot only. In her interview, Teddi says the world of make-up has changed since she was a kid. She didn’t want to wear it until 8th grade, and then it was black nail polish and black eyeliner. Her mom wasn’t thrilled, so then she died her hair eggplant. That actually sounds like a cool color. Kyle checks out Camille’s bridesmaid dresses, and doesn’t want to be one because it has a capped sleeve, which is not her friend. Mine neither. She asks Teddi when the RV trip is happening, and we see a clip of Teddi saying Edwin got an RV, and they should go on a trip. In her interview, she says Edwin got it so he could improve his tailgate experience. The rich – they’re not just like us. The photographer shoots some pictures of Portia and Slate.

In LisaR’s interview, she wishes Harry were there. He’s like a human Xanax. She calls Erika in New Jersey, who says tonight’s show is sold out, so she’s super excited. In her interview, she says it’s almost like going on a date with a really hot guy. LisaR tells her LVP didn’t show for Camille’s shower, and told Camille she wasn’t invited. We flash back to that. In her interview, LisaR thinks if you’ve been friends a long time, you should communicate, not just turn your back on them. She tells Erika that she asked Lois what she thought about the whole saga, and Lois thinks it’s bullsh*t Erika says she’ll be back tomorrow

Denise works out. She says she has a built-in trainer with Aaron. And a babysitter. In Denise’s interview, she says she loves working out with him. She forgets how hot he is. Every morning, they have sex and then workout, so it’s like a double workout. She feels bad about LVP not showing up again. We flash back to the dinner for Lois, and LisaR saying that LVP was working at PUMP, but sent her best wishes. She tells Aaron that she and LVP are having lunch. She thinks there was miscommunication and hurt on both sides, and should probably stay out of it. In her interview, she says she wants LVP to know the women still care about her. Being a mediator comes with experience. She had to do a lot with her ex-husband. She gets a text about the guy Sami is going to the homecoming dance with, and says it’s hard to watch her kids become adults. Aaron says they’ll always be her daughters. She gets weepy, and says she feels like she effed up a lot with their dad. She doesn’t want them to remember the fights, but Aaron says she protected them. In her interview, Denise says how she chose to relate to the dysfunction was to hide it from the kids. She doesn’t know if that was a disservice. She tells Aaron, life is short, and childhood is short. He says, enjoy every moment. He wouldn’t change anything about his life, because it led to him being there with her. Can this guy be any cooler? He says that he might have kids out there. She’s like, what? and he says he’s just kidding.

In Dorit’s car, Jagger plays a pretend guitar, and sings, rock and roll, over and over. They’re on their way to visit Kyle. Two-year-old Phoenix immediately accosts Kyle’s daughters. Dorit says she’s mature for two, and when she sees big kids, thinks obviously they’re her friends. She and Jagger hang with the girls, while Dorit and Kyle go outside. Dorit says she has a dream backyard, and Kyle wishes she’s had it when the kids were smaller. The dogs are rambunctious, and she says they’re a lot. She asks if they’re really seeing Boy George playing at the Greek. Dorit says didn’t invite LVP. She doesn’t want to exclude her, but doesn’t want to crowd her either. Kyle says she’s in the same boat, so she gets it.

LVP shows a friend her kitchen in progress. She says she wants to erase every memory from the past three months. In her interview, she says the negativity seems to have gone out the window with the renovation. It was $300K, but worth every penny. She’s distanced herself because she’s had no space for tears, sadness, or being under attack. Denise isn’t part of it, so she’s looking forward to seeing her. She meets Denise at Villa Blanca, and gives her two wedding presents, pink porcelain vases. I think they’re vases anyway. In LVP’s interview, she says she’s seen compassion in the way Denise interacts with children. She has an authenticity that LVP has warmed to. They order drinks, and Denise says LVP seems better, but they haven’t seen much of her. LVP says that’s been her choice. Denise says they love her, and she feels bad about Kyle. LVP tells her that when you swear on your children’s lives, that’s serious. The whole situation is ugly, and it hurt her feelings. She doesn’t need it in her life.

Kyle asks Dorit about LVP meeting with Denise. Dorit thinks Denise is going in with kid gloves. She’s had experience with similar personalities with her ex. Kyle asks if she’s suggesting LVP is like Charlie Sheen. Although they are both Virgos.

LVP tells Denise it was embarrassing and humiliating. In Denise’s interview, she says when she was humiliated in the past, the easy thing would have been to cancel interviews. LVP has chosen to retreat, but if she can’t explain it, you’d think she’d want to repair things; not throw away the friendships. Or at least want to defend herself if she didn’t do it.

Kyle says friends call each other out, and you grow and learn. LVP makes herself a victim. When she’s called out, she freaks out and bolts. She can’t face people. We see clips of past times when LVP has bolted. In Kyle’s interview, she says she wants LVP to come back and figure it out. In Dorit’s interview, she says since the Radar Online articles came out, she hasn’t seen or heard from LVP. She and Kyle had the argument. What did she do?

Denise tells LVP, friends can say hurtful things, but still respect each other. LVP says she was called a liar. You don’t treat people like that if love them. You don’t let a friend go to bed in tears. Denise repeats they still love her, and LVP says, it’s a shame. Denise agrees it is, and says LVP is fun and she’s missed. In her interview, Denise doesn’t get how LVP can just throw the women out. She tells LVP about the RV trip, but that’s a hard no. In LVP’s interview, she says even if Denise had said shopping with George Clooney in Paris, she would take a pass. It’s a definite pass on an RV trip. She tells Denise not to feel the need to defend her. Denise says she’s not, and LVP asks, why not? What kind of effing friend is she? They laugh.

Erika and LisaR pick up Teddi for the concert. They have a glass of champagne. In her interview, Erika says her first show was fabulous. They added a few more shows, but she has a few hours in LA. She can’t think of a better way to spend them. There’s a mechanical bull out back, and Erika says the last time she rode one was at her great-grandmother’s funeral. She clarifies that it was in a bar afterwards. Kyle and Camille join them. In Camille’s interview, she says she loves LisaR, but thinks she was extremely rude at the dinner. However, life is too short to hold grudges. Teddi’s youngest has a meltdown, not wanting her to leave. Teddi calls Edwin to help with the transition, and he peels the kid off of Teddi.

Dorit sees PK backstage, and he says he talked to Ken. We see a clip of him on the phone, telling Ken they’ve gone adrift. He asks why they don’t have lunch, and see if two old gits like them can sort it out. Ken tells him, LVP is tired of those women, and PK tells him not to confuse him and Dorit with Teddi and Kyle. He tells Dorit that Ken said he’d talk to LVP.

Erika tells the women about the tour as they travel to the concert on what looks like an empty bus. Teddi tells them that she sent a text to LVP. She whips out her phone, and reads the text. She hopes LVP is well. She knows they have an issue, and don’t see eye to eye, but thinks it’s best to move on. She has no ill will, and thinks they can co-exist in the group. In Kyle’s interview, she says, sure. LVP will just move on. Sorry Teddi. You’ll be in this for a while. Teddi thinks Camille should have said something to LVP about not being invited. In her interview, Kyle says Camille plays both sides of fence. Which is funny, coming from her. Camille says she and LVP have no beef.

The ladies go backstage, where there’s a nice spread. They eat and drink. Teddi says it’s not her first time at this rodeo. She loves the vibe, and seeing what the artists are like behind the scenes. Kyle asks if Erika has a backstage like this, and she says she does. Teddi asks if Erika gets in character before a show, and Erika says, everything is amplified and bigger. Kyle wonders about eye contact, and says in her fantasies, she would be talking to everyone in the audience. PK and Dorit enter with George. George tells them Gladys Knight is going on stage with him. Billy Idol is also there, and everyone gets excited. In LisaR’s interview, she says Billy is a gorgeous, sexy heartbreaker. She does know he was in his prime almost forty years ago, right?  Denise has been excused because of family night, but in her interview, LisaR asks if LVP isn’t PK’s best friend. Why isn’t she here? What is she doing? Why is it your business?

At Villa Rosa, we hear LVP whispering sweet talk. She brushes one of the pups (I think Schnookie), and tells him how wonderful he is.

Dorit tells the women that PK offered to talk to LVP and Ken. In Kyle’s interview, she thinks if PK has a breakthrough, it’s better for the whole group. Billy Idol arrives with some other people, and um… what I said. Mr. Chow’s (of the restaurant) daughter is with the group, and Teddi says she used to work for the restaurant. In her interview, she says, when she first moved to LA, her parents helped her move, but that’s it. So she got a hostess job. LisaR acts stupid meeting Billy. In LisaR’s interview, she says it’s cool being backstage, and hanging out with your idols in person.

Denise helps her middle daughter with homework. In her interview, she says she would have liked to go, but family comes first. She tells her daughter that she’ll probably never use that math in life, but at least she knows it. She and Aaron sit with the pups. He asks how things are with Charlie, and Denise says he filed to lower the child support. The press was right. She texted him, saying they could work it out discreetly and privately. It’s been twelve years she’s been dealing with this. In her interview, she says she never anticipated the journey she’d be on after her divorce. They had no prenup, and she didn’t ask for half of his money, because she’s not a greedy effing whore. How he blew all the money, she doesn’t know. (Probably on greedy effing whores. And drugs.) She says he should have given her half. She could have put it away for him.

The concert starts, and they embarrass me by screaming and dancing. Dorit loves margarita Kyle, who does splits and flips. It’s the true Kyle Richards. George introduces soul greatness Gladys Knight, who, I might add, did not meet with the Wives because she’s probably smarter than that. Erika has to run. In her interview, Dorit says it’s always exciting being with the girls, but this takes it to another level. George sings with a choir, and everyone lifts their phone lights, like we used to do with lighters. Admittedly, it’s safer, but it’s not nearly as atmospheric. In Kyle’s interview, she says there’s been so much negativity, it’ nice to laugh and have fun. It feels like they’re sixteen years old. Afterwards, they visit with George who says he called out a woman who was Facebooking on her phone all night. Kyle says she would worry about being vulnerable on stage, and PK says she can’t even get on with her best friend. Maybe she’s the one with issues. Kyle says he’s in the same position, and he says it was a joke. Kyle says LVP isn’t talking to him either, but he says he’s talking to Ken. In her interview, Kyle says the whole reason she got into this situation was speaking on his wife’s behalf. Now he’s giving her a jab, and getting into LVP’s and Ken’s good graces. Dorit says it’s the English way of joking, and knows it can be hurtful. Kyle says they’re in the same boat, but PK says he’s not. The ladies leave, except for Dorit. Outside, Camille says that was a nasty comment. Dorit tells PK that they don’t know him that well. He says it was a s joke, but she thinks he should say he’s sorry. Kyle tells the women that it’s disrespect to his own wife. Teddi says, whatever conversation he had with Ken got him there. Kyle says, good luck having sex with your wife tonight. The others laugh.

Dorit tells PK that what he said diminishes what happened. He says he made a joke, and she says she knows it. We all know it, since he’s said it five times now. In Dorit’s interview, she says PK’s great sense of humor is one of the things she loves about him, but he put his foot in his mouth, and it bit her in the ass.

The ladies hang out at the bus. In her interview, LisaR says PK loves to stir the sh*t. She knows because she loves to stir the sh*t. (At least she’s owning it.) Dorit joins them, and says she fully understands how Kyle feels, but she needs to understand the context. He’s comfortable with her and loves her; it didn’t come from a bad place. It was in poor taste and stupid, but he wasn’t being mean. Teddi interjects, and Dorit says let her have a conversation for two seconds. Teddi mumbles to Kyle that the way Dorit sai that was inappropriate, and Kyle says, calm down. Frankly, I think Teddi constantly butting in is inappropriate. In Teddi’s interview, she says when things get heated, she and Dorit don’t communicate the same way. She ask why Dorit is yelling at her, and Dorit says she won’t shut up. Can Teddi give her thirty seconds. In Camille’s interview, she says she and Dorit don’t have the best friendship, but she’s with Dorit on this one. Teddi is a know-it-all, and it’s not the right time to assert herself into the conversation. Kyle says her fight with LVP started because she was defending the two of them. Dorit says her fight is about her and LVP. Kyle says in defending Dorit, she had to be honest. In her interview, Teddi says it’s hard to watch them. They both want LVP’s friendship, and are vying over who’s the better friend.  Dorit and Kyle step away from the others.

Kyle says a joke is supposed to be humorous. On the sidelines, LisaR says jokes are supposed to be funny, and she doesn’t think PK or LVP are funny. She wishes she could have some British humor. Maybe they shouldn’t be friends with British people. In her interview, she says she wishes she could hide behind British humor, but she’s just an a-hole with iconic hair and big lips. Teddi wishes Dorit wouldn’t snap when there’s an issue. Dorit wishes Teddi wouldn’t constantly chime in. LisaR has joined them, and says maybe Dorit snapped because she’s sick and tired of it. Dorit says she’s sorry if she was aggressive. She didn’t mean to be, but she came down to set the record straight with Kyle. Kyle knows PK is a good guy. She was offended in the moment, but isn’t going to carry a grudge. In her interview, Kyle says she’s not going to hold on to it forever, but right now, she’s pissed off. Eff you, PK. That’s British humor.

Next time, Camille tells Denise that Teddi is a know-it-all, PK and Dorit have lunch with LVP and Ken, and Dorit thinks it’s difficult to believe that LVP didn’t have anything to do with it.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Alex looks at the DNA test, and says, oh my God. Dr. Raston says she retested the samples that were left. Alex says, this is real? and the doctor thinks Alex should have a conversation with Brad. Alex says they’re getting a divorce, and doesn’t see the point. The doctor says lies and secrets got her here, and it’s obvious she has another one. The board meeting is tomorrow, and she asks if Alex can make it. Alex says she will. Dr. Raston says she needs Alex there. This is her life and career that she’s never faltered in. Alex says she’ll be there. The doctor doesn’t know the results Alex was looking for, but can tell it’s a shock. She leaves, and Alex looks at the results again.

Eddie puts Esperanza in a cell. She says he thinks it’s funny, and he says, absolutely. She just stole from a restaurant, and now she’s just another citizen. He walks away, and she tells him, come back. He says he can’t hear her. Kelly is in the next cell, and asks what Esperanza is doing there. Esperanza says Eddie locked her up. It’s okay. When she gets out, he’s done. Kelly is sorry, and Esperanza asks if she’s seen Lushion. Kelly says, earlier, and Esperanza asks how she’s doing. Kelly says don’t worry about her. Is she okay? Kelly says she’s better. She’s trying to keep some faith. Esperanza says they’re all working hard to get her out. Kelly appreciates it. She misses her son, and Esperanza says she’ll bring him there when she gets out, but Kelly says, no. She’s not ready to see him. She can’t look into his eyes. Esperanza thinks it would do her good, and give her strength.

Lushion comes by. He tells Kelly that they came up with a good game plan. They’re going to talk over dinner. He says, hang in there, and Kelly suggests he tell Esperanza hang in there too; she’s next door. He’s like, what? and asks Esperanza what she’s doing there. Esperanza says, what does he think? Eddie. He unlocks the cell, and says Eddie keeps pushing the envelope. Eddie walks over, and says, no. Esperanza stole from a restaurant, and resisted law enforcement. Lushion takes her out, and she pushes Eddie. He says she’ll have an assault charge too, and if she gets behind the wheel of a car, a DUI. Lushion stops him, and Eddie asks if Lushion is going to hit him. Lushion says, no. He’ll call Steven to do that. Eddie says they think they’re funny. He’ll get Esperanza later.

Esperanza calls Larry, and leaves a message. She sees Steven, who asks, what’s wrong? She says, nothing, but he knows different. She says, Eddie, and she doesn’t want to talk about it. He says she’ not upset over nothing, and she tells him Eddie arrested her for not paying at a restaurant. She didn’t have her wallet, and asked him to pay. Steven says she had lunch with him? Why? She says why is he asking all these questions? She was just talking to Eddie. Steven asks, about what? and she says she doesn’t need him to know. She walks away, and Eddie walk up. He tells Steven, let that one go. That broad is bad news. Steven says the only bad news around there is him. Lushion tells Eddie, get to work, and tells Steven don’t waste his time.

Rick wants to talk to Lushion. He brings Lushion to the interrogation room, where Margaret is waiting. Rick introduces her, saying she’s the chaplain at Calvary and the prison. Margaret says she saw Kelly, and Lushion says she’s having a hard time. She tells him, Kelly said something that made her pray hard. She’s not the only girl. She thought the women were going crazy because Travis was a handsome kid. When Rick called, she began to pray. She doesn’t want to take anyone down. Lushion says, Travis is dead, but she says what if she’s wrong. Lushion suggests she tell them, and let them be the judge. She says her loyalty is to the church. Um… shouldn’t her loyalty be to God? Lushion wants to show her something, and brings up a picture of Justice on his phone. He says, her son. She’s a good mother. He knows a woman like her, a child of God, wouldn’t want this to go on. She says, this was a bad idea. She needs to leave. Lushion says she can break the cycle of pain, but Rick says, let it go. Margaret leaves, and Lushion says they shouldn’t have let her go. Rick says, this will take finesse, and she’s weak. Rick says he’s working on it, and they’ll talk later. Lushion says he’s seeing Ian tonight, and Rick says, be careful with that and what he says. Lushion says right now, they have to trust somebody. Rick says the church is like a bunch of gangsters, but Lushion just wants to hear what Ian has to say. He tells Rick he’s doing a good job.

Marcie and Brad go out to eat. She asks what this is about, and he says, it’s very simple. He was at work, thinking about her, and wanted to talk to her about something. She asks if she needs to brace herself, and he says, maybe. Will she marry him? She laughs, and says they talked about this. He says they talked about dating. She says he was just trying to work things out with Alex, but he says, it’s not going to work. She says they’ve been through a lot, and hurt. He says they both deserve better. He loves her. She says she loves him too; they’re incredible friends. He says that’s what makes it so perfect. She says, when he went back to Alex, that hurt. He says he had to make sure it was over, and she says what if she wanted go back to Randal to make sure. He asks if she’s seriously thinking about it, and she says, yeah. He says, really? and she laughs. She says that’s why they’re not ready to be in a relationship. He can’t even tell when she’s lying. He tells her, don’t do that, and she says, it was a joke. She says, it’s a little sudden. He shows her a round diamond ring, and asks her to marry him. She can’t believe he went this far. It doesn’t feel right, and she has to say no. He asks if it’s her boyfriend. She says she’s not into Ian. They’ve been over this. She asks him not to be disappointed, and he asks her to k about it. She agrees, and he says all he knows is that he doesn’t want her to be with anyone else. There’s no one else he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Larry sits on his car, looking over some papers. Randal pulls in, driving a surprisingly unsexy car. He tells Larry, go to hell, but Larry says he needs to see this. He knows Randal is angry, but he needs to see this. Randal says, go home, and Larry says, no. Randal says, fine. Stay out there all night. Larry says, please, let him in, and Randal says he hates Larry. Larry says he won’t after he sees this. They go inside, and Larry tells Randal, look at it, giving him some papers. Randal asks what the hell it is, and Larry says PIs fill it out for recent divorcees; all the dirt they can find. This is what was found on him. Randal says, it was a long time ago. Larry says Randal can see why he had him sign. Randal says there’s no way Marcie would know unless he told her this sh*t, but Larry says, it’s easy to find. Randal says it was settled out of court. Larry tells him, just because it was settled, doesn’t mean he was right in gaslighting a patient. He was fired from the hospital for it. Marcie could have taken everything. After some discussion about the word gaslighting – making someone think they’re crazy – probably for the edification of the audience, Larry says, mind games. Randal is good at it. Randal says it was never proven, and it was sealed. Larry says it depends on the kind of attorney, but he could be destroyed. He might not be able to testify, or be party to the jury selection. Randal tells him, get out. Larry says Randal should be thanking him. He saved Randal. Randal asks if he’s done, and Larry says, no. He wants a drink. He pours one for himself, and one for Randal. He’s not leaving until Randal apologizes. Randal says that’s not happening, and Larry asks if he hasn’t paid enough penance. Randal takes the drink. He tells Larry, keep trying him, and see what happens. Larry pours another.

Kelly sits on the floor of her cell, bummed. Rick stops by. She says he’s not in uniform, and he tells her that he’s headed to church; Calvary. She asks why? and he says he’s working on something; trust him. She says she’s trying to. After everything Travis put her through, it’s hard. He says he’s working on something to help her, but he needs her to be strong. He remembers when she reported Travis the first time; she was strong. She says that was before Travis beat her down. He says she still hasn’t run, but she says, look around him. She’s in jail. He says, not for long. She wonders how he can be so sure. He says he’s just asking for a little time. It will be okay. She has him and Lushion working on it, and they’re going to figure it out. She says, okay, and he promises he won’t leave her. he won’t let anything happen without a helluva fight, and they’re fighting to the end. He needs her to fight too. She says she’s doing her best, and he tells her that he’ll see her in the morning. Stay strong.

Randal tells Larry, get out, again, and Larry says, one more. Randal says he’s not playing. His phone rings. He says he’ll be going to the hospital, and he’s bringing his attorney. When he’s done with the call, he tells Larry to be sober and fresh for the meeting at the hospital tomorrow. Larry says, just so Randal knows, he’s going to keep harassing Randal until he forgives him. Larry gets in his, also unsexy, but still cool, car, and drives off.

Tanya strides up to Randal’s house, and knocks on the door. She asks him why he said those things to her the other day. He asks what he said, and she tells him, don’t talk to her again. He says, okay, and she says, stop looking in her windows. He says, but she’s so beautiful, and she says she’ll call the police. She’ll tell her husband. He laughs, and says she’s crazy. She says she’s not crazy. He thinks she is, and asks why she came over. She says to tell him he’s a liar, and don’t talk to her again. He says she’s the one who came over to his house. Don’t bring her ass over there, and he won’t talk to her. She tells him, don’t look at her naked, and he asks if she enjoyed looking at him. She says he’s a sad little man, and he says, clearly, she didn’t get a good enough look. Does she want to try again? He starts to unbuckle his belt, and she leaves. He tells her, don’t be afraid, but she keeps moving.

Tanya runs into Natalie on the sidewalk. Natalie asks if Randal is bothering her, and Tanya says, yeah. He’s been looking in her windows. Natalie is sorry, and suggests she close the curtains. Tanya says she needs the light; it helps her. Natalie says she should call the police. He won’t stop. Tanya says, he’d better stop. Natalie think she should tell her husband, but Tanya says, he already has enough on his plate. Natalie says she needs to tell somebody, and Tanya says she’ll think about it. She thanks Natalie for helping her the other night. She knows her husband told Natalie about her condition. It doesn’t happen unless she doesn’t take her meds. Randal watches from the open doorway because he’s creepy that way. Natalie says she’ll tell Lushion, and he’ll tell Randal’s ass. Tanya goes home, and Randal yells where’s Natalie’s car? Who walks to the grocery store? They don’t do that in this neighborhood. There’s no corner store, liquor store, check cashing place, or place to get her weave done. Welcome to the neighborhood. I’m not quite sure what that was about, since he described a lot of neighborhoods in NYC, and like convenience is a bad thing.

Larry is in his office, and hears a noise. He asks, who’s there? and Eddie says, his worst nightmare. Larry says, some people’s sweetest dream. Eddie asks if Larry is trying to take him down with Esperanza. Larry says he has no idea what Eddie is talking about. Eddie asks if Larry knows how many people have tried to take him down. Larry imagines quite a few. His fellow officers; rookies. They’ve tried, and failed. Eddie says, miserably. Larry suggests Eddie come by, but Eddie says he’s not into Larry’s fruity ass. Larry asks if he’s into Joey. They have a few mutual friends he met with earlier; Peter, Joey, Andrew. Eddie asks why the hell they were there, and Larry says, testimony against him. When he’s done with the case he’s handing to the DA, Eddie won’t need to be worried about him, but a gang of guys like him, doing far worse. Eddie tells Larry now is the time to stop before it gets extremely ugly. Larry says, it’s too late for that. Eddie says, if he has nothing to lose, he might as well take Larry out. I assume he doesn’t mean to the movies. Larry says not if he gets to Eddie first. Eddie says they’ll see about that, and Larry guesses they shall. He’ll see Eddie soon. Eddie walks out, and Larry asks if Eddie knows he has an ass like a Black girl. A loud laugh pops out of my mouth. I love Tyler Perry’s shows because the dialogue is so clever, and often very real.

Ian arrives at Lushion and Natalie’s house. Natalie tells them to talk while she checks on the roast. Ian asks how Lushion has been. Lushion says, anxious. Is he taking Kelly’s case? Ian says he’s doing it, and Natalie says, thank you, Lord. Lushion tells her not to take the Lord’s name in vain, but I’m not sure how that applies here. Ian says Lushion does realize it’s going to be tricky. He has to break client privilege to rep her. He has to figure out a way around it. Evidence can help. He can’t tell Lushion what it is. Lushion says Ian’s got to give him something, and Ian says he knows where to look. Rick works at the church. Lushion says, Rick is trying to get information. The chaplain said there could be more victims. Ian says, find the others. Lushion says, then what? How is Ian going to rep Kelly while working for Larry? Ian says he’d want Justice on the stand, but doesn’t think they’ll even have to go to court. If they have evidence, the DA will offer a deal. Lushion says, Kelly won’t take a deal. Ian says it’s an election year, and the DA won’t want to be embarrassed, especially in front of a public defender. Lushion asks if he thinks the kid can do it, and Ian says, it will change his career overnight. Get the evidence. Lushion says it would be nice if Ian would point him in the right direction. Ian says, it’s real close. Closer than he thinks. Now I’m trying to figure it out.

Alex knocks at the door. She thanks them for inviting her. Natalie introduces Ian, saying he’s the attorney she was telling Alex about. Natalie tells Ian, this is… Ian says, Jennifer. They’ve met. Natalie says, no; Alex. Ian says, Jennifer, and Alex says, no. She’s Alex. He says, sorry. He thought she was someone else. Natalie says she’s about to get dinner started, but Alex wanted to know if Ian could look over her divorce papers. Lushion is like, hey, but Ian says, it’s okay. He’ll do it; not a problem. Natalie says they want it by tomorrow. Ian asks why the rush, and Alex says, long story. Ian guesses they’ve got a long dinner ahead. Natalie says there’s plenty of wine, and calls Alex Jennifer. Ian apologizes again, saying Alex really looks like her. Alex hopes she was nice, and he says she was, extremely. Lushion asks if they’re ready to eat, and Ian says he’ll look at the papers after dinner. Alex says they’re at her house. She’ll get them later, and he says he’ll walk her.

For a long dinner, we see none of it. Alex and Ian walk to her house, and she thanks him again. It’s been tough. He says he understands. He does a lot of divorce cases, and it’s never easy, but this one is different/ He feels like there’s something missing from the story. Alex asks what that’s supposed to mean, and he says she just had a baby. He says she doesn’t have to tell him, and she says, maybe one day. They go inside.

Alex pays the sitter, and thanks her. She asks if Ian would like a drink. He says, sure. He lives across the street. She wants one too, but before she can get to the bar, Ian takes her in his arms, and is about to kiss her.

Next time – the finale – Tanya does a painting of Randal, Alex says she has no idea what Ian is talking about, Randal wants to get Dr. Raston fired, Ben trashes Randal’s’ house, and Ian asks if the baby is his. Which is what I’d been wondering since I saw him call her Jennifer on the commercial.

🌎 Because I Missed It…

And I like globe stuff.




April 16, 2019 – Willow Agrees To Help, Lois Is In Town, More Details, Eddie Makes an Arrest & Bunnygate


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly sees Michael at the hospital. She was supposed to meet Sonny there, but they had to reschedule. Michael says let him guess; Sonny is with Kristina.

Sam goes to the DOD house. She says Shiloh looks like she feels. He says he didn’t sleep, and asks if she’s seen her sister. She was going to ask him the same thing; no one has seen her. Shiloh says no one there has either. Sam says her mom hasn’t seen Kristina, and when they call her phone, it goes straight to voicemail. She knows she told him that Kristina can be a flake, but now she’s getting worried. Shiloh says they’ll find her together. They take care of their own at DOD.

At Charlie’s, Brad reads to Lucas from Shiloh’s book. All that matters is being present in the now. Doesn’t it blow his mind? Lucas says, mind blown. Brad doesn’t think he’s too enthusiastic, and Lucas says it’s just not his thing. Brad thinks they need to go to classes. It’s energized him. Lucas can see that, and Brad says there are courses for kids. They can sign up for a family seminar. They can bring Wiley. Shiloh loves him to pieces. Sitting at the bar, Willow overhears.

Valentin asks Nora how her visit has been, and she says, brief. Her case wrapped up already, and she’s headed for the train station. Valentin asks if she can stay put, but she says he’ll have to pay a retainer, and it’s gone up. He tells her to name her price. He needs her services again.

Nina walks into her office while on the phone, and finds Spencer in her chair. She asks what he’s doing there, and he asks if it isn’t unpleasant to have an unwanted trespasser in her sanctorum. He says that word is from the Latin. Nina says, get out of her chair; that’s from Nina. He has the same feeling as when he contemplates his exile from Spoon Island – his rightful home.

Franco sees Cameron sitting outside the principal’s office. He’s obviously been in a fight, and Franco asks, what happened?

Jason sees Elizabeth, and says he needs a favor. He shows her the cup, and asks if she can test the residue, no questions asked.  He wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important, but it’s family. The less Elizabeth knows, the better. Elizabeth says there’s a test that’s not the most precise, but it’s quick. Does he want to wait? He says he owes her one, and she takes the cup.

Michael tells Carly that he knows Kristina left DOD, but doesn’t know where she is. Jason joins them, and Carly tells him that Michael is asking about Kristina. Jason says he got her out before anything happened. That’s what Michael figured, but he wanted confirmation. Jason says, she’s in a safe place, but she’s pretty messed up.

Shiloh gives Sam a giant glass of water, and says he’s never seen her rattled like this. When they spoke this morning, she said there was nothing to worry about. She says Sonny hasn’t heard from Kristina either. It’s one thing for their mother, and Kristina’s sisters not to hear from her, but she’d never flake on Sonny. She thinks something is wrong, and Shiloh says they’ll find her together.

Brad tells Lucas that DOD has volunteer opportunities and workshops. Lucas says he’ll think about it. He agrees that Brad is less stressed; he’ll give him that. And he’s not popping antacids like he was. Lucas goes over to Willow, and says they met a few months ago. He introduces himself, and Brad says it’s crazy running into her there. He thought she was moving. She says her plans changed. She likes her life there too much, and doesn’t want to change it. Lucas says the need good teachers. She asks Brad if the book is good, and Lucas says he lives and dies by it. He’s a real believer. They leave, and Willow flashes back to Shiloh finding her, and saying he can always find her, even if she changes her name. She tells him she wants him to leave, but he says that’s not what he wants. She promised to never leave him, and she broke her promise.

Nora tells Valentin, it sounds like it’s of some urgency. Her calendar is full, but if he’s facing criminal prosecution, she can refer him to an excellent attorney in New York. He says it’s a family matter. She did a fantastic job when he was seeking custody of Charlotte. Nora thanks him, and understands he revised the agreement. He tells her that he and Lulu decided to share custody of Charlotte, for Charlotte’s sake. Nora says, mozel tov, reminding us that she’s Jewish, and Passover is soon. He says that Lulu has gone overseas indefinitely, without even a day’s notice.

Nina is sorry Spencer and Valentin are still at odds. She wishes they could make peace. He asks who she’s kidding. She’s part of it, and it’s on her to fix it. She asks how he’d like her do that, and he tells her, put a leash on Valentin; he’s her fiancé. Nina says he’s assuming she can control Valentin, and he asks what else marriage is good for. She says Valentin feels entitled, as does Spencer. She tells him, stop antagonizing Valentin and making him the enemy,

Cameron says his mom was supposed to come, but Franco says she’s at work, and he got the call. Does Cameron want to tell him how the fight started? Was it about a girl? It’s his shot to tell Franco before he hears it from the man. He’s just trying to help. Too late. The secretary asks them to come into the principal’s office. Franco tells Cameron, let’s get it over with.

Jason tells Michael that Kristina is physically away from DOD, but still connected emotionally. Sonny hired an expert to break the hold. Carly says they’re going to need family to show up, and Michael says he’ll be there. He asks how she is, and Jason says, angry. Carly adds, but safe. He knows how Sonny is. He’ll pull out all the stops to get her back. Michael says Shiloh will still be waiting, but Jason says he’s working an angle to take Shiloh down, and Sam is working another.

Sam suggests calling the cops, but Shiloh says she’s an adult, so they have to wait 24-hours before they can report her missing. He intends to find her before that. He has members out looking, and they can go to the hospital. Sam thinks she’ll do more good there, and Shiloh says, where Kristina isn’t? She says she can search Kristina’s room. Maybe she’ll find a clue. He’s not comfortable with that, and Sam asks if he doesn’t trust her. He does, but Kristina trusts them with her privacy. Sam doesn’t care if Kristina is in trouble. Shiloh agrees, saying it’s better to beg her forgiveness later, and find her now. He asks Daisy to help Sam search.

Jason explains that Sam is sending Shiloh off to search; then she’s going to search the DOD house. Carly says there has to be something there to use against Shiloh. Jason asks Michael if Willow gave him any insight. Michael says, he doesn’t think… and his phone rings. It’s Willow, who says she has to see him immediately about Shiloh.

Nora tells Valentin that Lulu’s departure was abrupt, but thinks when you’re attacked by a serial killer, you deserve a vacation. Valentin doesn’t disagree, but he’s not willing to send his daughter to Paris every two weeks. He’s the de facto custodial parent, and wants to amend the custody order. Nora asks him to clarify.

Spencer tells Nina that he wants to express his concern for Charlotte. He and Laura saw him at GH. Lulu is barely gone, and he wants to cut out Charlotte’s grandmother. Nina says he misunderstood, but he says they both know what Valentin is capable of. Take the blinders off, lady. Nina tells him, don’t lady her, and there’s a binding agreement. He says Lulu changed things when she went overseas, but Nina says Valentin has no problem with Charlotte seeing her grandmother, and will make it happen.

Franco brings Cameron to the hospital. Elizabeth asks, what happened? Franco says, good question, but Cameron’s not talking. Not to him or the principal. Elizabeth tells Cameron to wait for her in the examining room. Franco tells her neither one will say what happened, but the school has zero tolerance for fighting. They’ve both been suspended.

Jason tells Carly, Kristina was obviously drugged. He found her on the floor, with pillows all around. Carly says, he drugs them, and sleeps with them? and Jason says, that’s what it looks like. He found a cup lying next to her. It was metal, with engraving on the bottom; the same symbol some of Shiloh’s followers have tattooed on their backs. He took it to Elizabeth to have it analyzed. He wants to find proof that Shiloh is drugging his followers.

Sam tells Daisy that she’s got this, but Daisy says it’s what Shiloh wants. Nothing is as important as finding Kristina. Sam says they know she has her phone and wallet. She wonders what’s in Kristina’s drawers, and Daisy starts to go through them. Sam says it looks like most of her clothes are there. She must have left with a small bag. Daisy doesn’t get why Kristina left, and Sam says she doesn’t either. She was excited about her higher level of achievement. Daisy says, what a disappointment. It’s an honor to be chosen to be close to Shiloh. No one has ever changed their mind. They know what the consequences are. Sam asks, what consequences?

Michael meets Willow at Charlie’s. She’s glad he came quickly; she was afraid she’d change her mind. She’s willing to talk to Kristina, and share her experiences. Michael knows it’s not an easy decision, and Willow says she has one condition; non-negotiable. They can’t be anywhere near DOD or Shiloh. He asks if she doesn’t trust herself around him. Michael asks if she’s afraid he’ll get his hooks in her.

Shiloh sees Brad at the hospital, and asks how it’s going with Wiley and Lucas. Brad says, really good. He’s surprised Shiloh remembered him. Shiloh says their work together is significant. Every drop of water makes an ocean. Isn’t that from The Aristocats? Shiloh asks if he’s going to see Brad again, and Brad says he needs more Zen in his life. He wants to bring Wiley and Lucas. Shiloh says he shows a real aptitude, and Brad thanks him. He sees the cup in Brad’s hands, and I audibly gasp. He asks where Brad got it.

Nina tells Spencer that Charlotte loves Laura. Valentin won’t come between them. Spencer tells her to open her eyes. He needs her to get Valentin to back off. Nina says, back off who? and he says, him. Her knight in shining armor is blackmailing him.

Valentin ask Nora if Lulu can dictate that Laura get half-custody. Nora says, the short answer is no. She can express wishes, but has no legal ground. Valentin asks if there’s a legal avenue she can pursue, and again Nora says the short answer is no. They’d have to relitigate at that point, and then he can voice his own position. He says Lulu left without notice, and he wants to file for full legal custody.

Elizabeth tells Cameron, silence is not an option. He says he handled it. She doesn’t need to know what happened. It will only hurt her, Franco says she’s a strong person, and Cameron tells him, stay out of this. Elizabeth says, hey. He apologizes and asks if he can go, but Elizabeth says he’s not going anywhere until he comes clean. She’ll find out one way or the other. It’s better to find out from him. He says the reason he beat the crap out of Tyler was because he insulted Aiden, calling him a little fairy boy.

Carly asks what Jason thinks about the psychologist Sonny hired. He says he doesn’t like psychologists, and Carly says, still… Jason says he seems to know what he’s doing, but he doesn’t see how he can get through to Kristina. Carly asks how Kristina was, and Jason says, she was pretty out of it, but okay. It was good because she didn’t fight him, and gave him the code to her phone. Until she woke up. Then she was furious. He can’t say he blames her; he did kidnap her. Carly says, for her own good. He says it would help to get hard evidence against Shiloh to give to the cops. Carly is surprised he wants to work with the cops. He says he wants to make Shiloh disappear, but it’s best for Kristina if he goes to prison. She’ll see he’s a con, and it will break his hold once and for all.

Brad tells Shiloh the cup is something he has to test; why? Shiloh says, it’s his. It has special meaning, and went missing from DOD. He asks what it’s being tested for, and I yell at Brad to shut up, but he says, for drugs. Shiloh says he doesn’t now how anybody got it, but it’s someone who wants to discredit DOD and see it fail. Brad wonder why anyone would want that, and Shiloh says, some people don’t understand, and others want to see it fail for more personal reasons. Jason is so obsessed with his ex, he attacked Shiloh. Brad says it was given to him by a nurse close to Jason. Maybe he stole it, and convinced her to run the test. It’s amazing the lengths people will go to. Shiloh says, especially Jason.

Sam asks Daisy what the consequences are for walking away from the Trust. Daisy asks where she heard that term, and Sam says, Kristina maybe. Daisy tells her, forget it. The only people who are supposed to know the name, are a part of it. Sam asks what would happen if she mentioned it to Shiloh. Would she be shunned? Is that what Kristina is afraid of? Daisy says, Shiloh would never shun anyone, especially Kristina. She’s so important to him.

Willow tells Michael if Shiloh was planning on bringing Kristina into the Trust, he’ll be watching her closely. He says her family got there first; she’s with them. Willow says, Shiloh won’t let her go so easily. He stays with you. He’s still in her head now, no matter how many miles are between them.

Carly thinks getting Shiloh out of the way is the obvious solution, but Jason says Kristina is Sonny’s daughter and Sam’s sister. They should decide how to handle it. Carly says they’re too close to this. They’re not seeing Kristina clearly. They assume she can’t handle what’s happening. They’re really undermining her. They don’t have confidence in her, so she has none in herself, and pinballs from thing to thing, trying to find where she fits. Jason says, what if Shiloh disappears, and she breaks down completely? Carly doesn’t know, and he says that’s why they have to let Sonny and Sam decide. Carly says she’s just tired, and thanks him for letting her vent. He tells her, stay there.

Nina asks Spencer how Valentin could be blackmailing him. Spencer says Valentin wants him to tell his grandmother that Charlotte doesn’t want to visit her, but there’s nothing further from the truth. Valentin comes into the reception area, and listens. Nina says she didn’t realize Spencer and Charlotte were friends. Spencer says Valentin wants to cut his grandmother out of Charlotte’s life, and if he doesn’t cooperate, Valentin will sic the Feds on him. Nina says, the FBI? Spencer says Valentin will stop at nothing to get what he wants. He asks her to have a heart. Make Valentin leave him alone. Nina says, give it up. Tell his story to someone else. She saves her pity save for the actual helpless, and he’s anything but. He tells her that she’s a worthy adversary, and worthy of respect. It’s too bad Valentin doesn’t have any for her. If he did, he wouldn’t be keeping a secret with Sasha.

Cameron tells Elizabeth and Franco that Tyler and his friend kept looking at him, laughing. He asked what was up, and they said, nothing. He was about to leave, and Tyler said his sister told him all about Aiden. Elizabeth says, what about him? and Cameron tells her that she said he’s a little fairy boy. Tyler called him Gayden, so Cameron jumped him. They got hauled to the principal’s office, but Tyler won’t be running his mouth anymore. That lying piece of crap. Aiden is a little kid; he’s not like that.

Jason gives Carly a smoothie. She tells him that she’s going to turn into an orange. He tells her as long as she takes care of herself and the baby, he doesn’t care. She says it’s her other baby she’s worried about. Oscar had another seizure. Josslyn was with him. He’s sweet and romantic, and got Josslyn a digital watch. There’s a superstition that at 11:11, someone that you love who has died is reaching out to you. She guesses it’s a way to stay connected. She doesn’t know if she believes it, but they do. They played music, and were dancing, when Oscar collapsed.

Elizabeth says Cameron knows better than to solve problems by fighting. He’s not going to let that tool call his brother fairy boy. How can he say Aiden is gay; he’s a little kid. Franco wonders if the real problem is that he doesn’t want it to be true. Elizabeth says he’s not like the other kids his age. Cameron asks, why? Because he likes Princess Calinda and baking? Elizabeth says, none of those things alone or together would prove that conclusion, but it’s not their job to impose a label on him. It’s their job to love and support him, no matte who he grows up to be. Cameron says, right now, he’s in the third grade, but his classmates have siblings. Unless they’re going door to door, he has to do something. Do they just expect him to take it? Franco says, you bet, and Cameron asks if Aiden can’t be a little less gay.

Nina asks Spencer what’s going on with Sasha and Valentin. Valentin comes in and asks if someone said his name. Spencer says he was telling Nina about when Sasha interrupted them at Windymere. Something shady was going on. Valentin says they were just talking about people. Would Spencer like it if Valentin talked about him?

Brad tells Shiloh, if he doesn’t do something, Jason will keep coming after him. He should have Jason arrested for theft. Shiloh feigns concern that Brad and Jason’s friend will be implicated as accomplices. He says there was only tea in the cup. Just tell Jason, and that will be that. Lucas comes by, and Shiloh says they’ll talk later, and jets. Lucas tells Brad that he’s off tonight. Any chance Brad can knock off early too?

Daisy tells Sam that they’ve gone through everything; there’s nothing there. Sam asks if Daisy has any clue what Kristina might have been feeling. Daisy says, she was excited. Kristina knew it was a privilege. Sam says, maybe the privilege was too much, but Daisy says, Kristina knew what it meant. If she hadn’t been fully committed, she wouldn’t have made the pledge. Sam asks what the pledge is exactly. Daisy says, if Sam is fully committed, one day she’ll be chosen, and find out.

Michael tells Willow, it doesn’t sound like having sex with Shiloh is a choice, but expected. She went through the ceremony, and at the end he had sex with her; that’s coercion. She says he didn’t force himself on her, but offered her a place in the Trust, saying it was an honor. That’s how everyone treated it, even her mother. Her mother convinced her that she was special. It wasn’t until she went to school that she realized DOD was built on lies, and Shiloh was just a con man. He was her first; the only man she’d been with, and he used her. Michael says, her baby was Shiloh’s, wasn’t it? and she says, yes.

Carly tells Jason, Josslyn called the paramedics, and went with Oscar. Jason asks how he is now, and Carly says, breathing on his own, and awake, but he only has a few days at most. Josslyn is with him, and wants to be until the end. It’s taking everything not to park herself there, but she can’t do that. She has to wait until Josslyn says she needs her, and keep herself busy. Jason suggests they shoot pool, and she says, don’t tempt her. He needs to bust Shiloh. Nothing is more important than her and Josslyn. He tells her, just call him when she needs him. She promises, and they hug.

Elizabeth says, no one is asking Aiden to be anything other than who he is. Franco says this isn’t about making Cameron’s life easier. Is he upset about the kids talking trash about Aiden, or about who Aiden is? Cameron says he doesn’t want to deal with Aiden being teased; he loves his brother. Franco tells him, prove it by his support. He could have saved a lot of pain if he’d stepped up to the plate. Franco leaves, and Cameron says, he’s wrong about everything. Elizabeth says, he’s angry, and so is she. Cameron is angry and upset on his own behalf, not his brother’s. She leaves, and Cameron pounds the wall.

Spencer tells Valentin not to be hasty. Valentin says he wanted the truth. His phone rings, and Nora says she’s tracking a case that she thinks might prove useful. He thanks her for her quick action, but it’s not necessary. He’s not pursuing reviving the custody agreement. He’s sorry for the trouble. She says, it’s no trouble; he’ll get her bill. Valentin tells Spencer this is the last of his patience. Spencer isn’t getting another chance. Go. Spencer runs out. Nina asks if he really blackmailed Spencer, and Valentin says, he’s a kid. It was just leverage to guarantee the truth. Sasha tells him, don’t count on it. Spencer will do anything to make him look bad. Was there something going on with Sasha? He says he offered Sasha money to join her in New York, but Sasha said no. Nina says, she’s a proud woman, but Valentin says, not as proud as her mother.

Brad brings the cup back to Elizabeth, who’s talking to Jason. He says he ran the test. Jason asks what he’s talking about, and Brad says, the results are back. There were no drugs; nothing. Just tea and Valerian root. By the look on his face, Jason doesn’t believe it.

Shiloh comes back to DOD. Sam asks if he found Kristina. He says he checked GH and Mercy, but she wasn’t there. He thinks he knows what happened though. He thinks Jason kidnapped her.

Brad looks full of himself.  Lucas tells Brad that his paperwork is finished, and he’s heading out.  Brad says he was talking to Shiloh about taking the next class. How about it?

Willow tells Michael, as soon as she found out she was pregnant, she made her escape. She couldn’t let Shiloh find out. He’d mold his child into one of his blind followers. Michael is sorry, but glad she broke away. Shiloh got away, but she protected her baby and lost it. She says he has it wrong, but it’s her fault. She’s been lying to him. The baby didn’t die.

Franco tells Nina that they need to talk to their step-kids, Michael knows who Willow’s adoptive family is, and Jason asks Brad if he’s involved with DOD.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Returning to the show where I’ve started disliking people I used to like, or at least didn’t bother me. I’m still good with Denise though, and of course LVP can do no wrong.

Denise is getting ready to have Dorit over. She tells trainer Mikey that Dorit weighs an ounce, and probably won’t eat, but they have snacks. She makes some drinks, and says that Dorit has two little kids, so she could use a double. The seltzer sprays everywhere when she opens it, and she claims she’s not used to using it in her drinks. Dorit arrives and meets Eloise, In Denise’s interview, she says she liked Dorit right away. It was sweet of Dorit to invite her to the Bahamas, when Dorit only knew her a few seconds. There’s also a lot to talk about. She puts blankets on the couch so Dorit doesn’t sit on dog hair. Celebrities – they’re just like us! Denise is anyway.

They talk about how tight their schedules are. Dorit says she feels blessed, and adores her husband. Denise asks how long PK has known LVP, and Dorit says they go back to their London days. They’re close; like brother and sister. Denise asks if they’ve talked recently, and Dorit says, no. The last time they spoke was at Denise’s wedding. Dorit knows LVP cares for her, but believes the Radar Online article came from her, and that she then called TMZ. In her interview, Dorit says, if you have nothing to hide, why would you hide? Denise says she’s coming from a place where she was dragged through the mud, embarrassed, and felt like she needed to defend herself. In her interview, she says when she got divorced from Charlie, she would try to find out who was leaking things by telling them false information. If she saw it in print, they were out. She had to live in a bubble. Dorit wants to go back to trusting LVP, but Denise thinks it will take some time. They go outside to check out the beautiful view. Dorit asks how long they’ve lived there, and Denise says, just over a month. They wanted something simple, Zen, and peaceful. Dorit knows what she means.

Kyle sets up the place cards for Camille’s shower. She wants to make sure there’s no awkwardness. In Kyle’s interview, she says she wanted to throw Camille a shower because it’s an exciting time in Camille’s life, and she loves throwing showers. Seating is everything. She’s seen women come in early, and move place cards, so she’s got to watch out for those people, The last time she spoke to LVP, they had a big argument. Yay. We get to see some of that again. She wants the day to be special for Camille, and her OCD is in overdrive.

LVP’s kitchen is getting torn apart. Steven tells Ken – Giggy! – it’s too late to change his mind. LVP wonders what she was thinking. In her interview, she says she’s emotionally scattered. Everything is coming at her from all angles. She says, the last time she stood there, she was with a friend of hers, and we see another clip from the argument. She takes a couple of swings at the old kitchen with a hammer, and says, at least Kyle was only a bitch in the kitchen. If she’d followed LVP through the house, this might be more expensive. She’s looking forward to it being brighter; it was dark and depressing. She wants to make some tea, but finds a bottle of wine that’s preferable.

The corrupt Faye Resnick arrives, and asks Kyle if it’s okay to wear white. Kyle explains that it’s weddings where you shouldn’t wear white. I just shake my head, although I know someone who thought all guests were supposed to wear the same color at a wedding, not knowing that was only for the bridesmaids. Teddi says, it looks amazing, and asks if everyone’s coming. Kyle says she invited everyone. In her interview, Camille appreciates Kyle’s offer to throw her a bridal shower. It’s tough to move ahead, and she wasn’t sure if she’d find love again, but David made her believe in love again. LisaR says Erika texted that she’s in tour hell, and can’t make it.

At the rehearsal studio, Mikey says, they’re seven days away from… Erika says, greatness. Mikey says, that too, but their first show in Jersey. In Erika’s interview, she says it’s the final days of rehearsal. There’s no time for a social life, family life, or any other life but show life. She’ll catch Camille at the next wedding. Erika’s choreographer gives some notes. In her interview, Erika says, as a child, she had big dreams, but as you get married, have kids, get divorced and remarried, priorities change. Life takes a different path. When the road opened wide at age 35, she took advantage. We’re the masters of our own destiny. Follow your dreams, and have a kickass checkbook. While rehearsing, Erika gets a knee to the jaw, and I try not to laugh. Mikey asks if she’s okay. Erika says, no, but she doesn’t want to make it a big deal. She tells us, with live shows, anything can happen, but the show must go on. That’s the way it is. They do that circle thing, even though it’s kind of early for that. Doesn’t that come before an actual show?

LisaR tells everyone her mom Lois is in town, and we see a clip of LisaR greeting her. In her interview, LisaR says her mother is almost 91, so when she can spend time with her, every second count. Food and drink happens. Camille opens gifts, and gets a tiara, which she promptly puts on. Kyle thanks everyone for coming to celebrate Camille. She says they’ve had their ups and downs – we flash back to her calling Camille a liar – and she’s excited for her and David. They deserve happiness. Dorit tells Kyle she was with Kyle’s sister Kathy last night. In Kyle’s interview, she says one good thing about American Woman not being picked up, is she and her sisters are speaking again. Everything is good, and they’re having fun again. She traded one for the other. Camille asks where LVP is. In her interview, Camille says she’s disappointed LVP isn’t there. LVP doesn’t need to punish her. Kyle asks if she’s coming to the wedding. Everyone agrees that even when you’re having problems with people, you should show up. Are you kidding? With this crowd. Who wants to be eaten alive? Camille says LVP told her be strong when the same thing happened with her. Kyle thinks Camille should send a text saying LVP was missed. In LisaR’s interview, she thinks that’s being passive/aggressive, and Camille should say she’s hurt. Camille thanks everyone for helping her celebrate this special time in her life.

Kyle drives some weird little car to the Mediterranean market with Portia. In her interview, Kyle says she saw a guy driving what looked like a lux go cart. He says it was called a Vanderhaul, and she thought it would be a fun toy. Plus it was cheaper than a vintage Jag. She’s scared driving it though. At the market, she gives Portia her own basket. In her interview, she says, as a mom, she wants do everything for them, like her mom did. She tells Portia that she’s got this. There’s a problem when it comes to loading the car, since it doesn’t hold much. Kyle says it’s a fun car, but not functional. Don’t take it shopping unless you’re not hungry. She crams what she has in the car, and Portia has to sit on top of some of it.

LisaR, her daughters, and Lois go to a high-end spa. The doctor is surprised that Lois is 90. LisaR suggests an IV bag. In her interview, she says her mom is low maintenance. She’s never had a massage, a facial, or even a pimple. She’s kind of a freak of nature. Lois taught her; age is about attitude. If you feel young, you’ll be young. Nice try. She says Lois must think they’re crazy. Amelia says Harry is home watching the news on all their TVs. In LisaR’s interview, she says, since Harry came back from camping, the Kavanaugh hearings have everyone on edge. To see a woman being put in a vulnerable position, and being made fun of and not believed, is effed up. LisaR wants to try the infrared bed. In her interview, she says the purpose of the bed is… she doesn’t really know the effing purpose. The girls do cryotherapy, and scream the whole time. Not surprising, since it’s minus 140 degrees. When LisaR comes out, she says she’s like a new person. We could only hope. In her interview, she says this is probably all bullsh*t, but  she’ll buy it quicker than anyone.

In the car with Lois, LisaR says she’s buzzing, and could run a marathon. Too bad she’s not doing QVC today. Lois says she doesn’t watch it much; it’s boring. LisaR says, thanks a lot. They go to a restaurant, where there’s a private table, and the rest of the gang (minus LVP) gathers, along with some other friends. In Kyle’s interview, she says she loves when Lois visits. She’s hilarious. What woman this age travels, and is super cool and fun? How about Betty White? She says,  they don’t make them like her every day.  LisaR shows off her $5K tiny handbag. In her interview, she says she’s been low key with the big purse thing. She doesn’t spend a lot, but everyone wants a Hermes bag, especially where they live. They’re all superficial and effed up. Everyone talks among themselves. Denise says it’s surreal seeing LisaR’s girls, since hers are going to be that age soon. She wishes she could keep them young forever. The kids jet, since they have to get up early. What’s wrong with this picture?

Kyle asks Camille if she’s heard from LVP. Camille says she texted that she missed LVP at the shower, and LVP said she wasn’t invited. Kyle is like, what? and says, it’s such a joke. She didn’t leave a stone unturned, and shows Camille the message was delivered. She asks what Camille said, and Camille tells her that she said she didn’t know LVP wasn’t invited, and would have wanted her there. She shows Kyle the texts. In her interview, Kyle knows it’s not fun being honest with LVP, but can’t believe Camille just said she didn’t know. Lois thinks it’s bullsh*t. LisaR says she invited Harry, but it’s a big day politically because of the Kavanaugh hearings. Everything is changing. Camille says she has a different point of view. There’s not enough evidence. When you’re going up against something like that, you need to have witnesses lined up. She thinks if that happened, you would tell someone. Teddi doesn’t agree. Camille says you would tell your boyfriend or your parents. LisaR’s friend Robin says she was attacked in seventh grade, and never said anything. Camille says she was too, but she told people. LisaR says the woman told her husband, but Camille says that was years later. LisaR asks if Camille doesn’t believe her, and Camille says it’s a he said/she said situation. It pisses her off. LisaR says she’s not getting anything out of telling the world, and she’s a doctor. Camille asks if LisaR believes that anyone who holds a PhD is right. Teddi asks how Camille would feel if no one believed her. As usual, she asks stupid questions, since she came late to the party. Camille says that’s her priority. These are serious allegations, and she feels bad for the judge and his family. LisaR thinks she would be more empathetic, and Camille says, she is, but she’s also been accused of things she hasn’t done. In her interview, Camille says when she was going through her divorce, she was maligned. We flash back to a reunion, where Andy runs down a list of insults hurled at Camille. Camille says it’s horrible to go through that when you’ve done good things. She empathizes with what the judge is going through, since she’s been in that position. She knows what it feels like to be wrongfully accused, and humiliated all over the world because of lies. In LisaR’s interview, she thinks Camille comparing herself to Kavanaugh is weird. It’s not about Camille; it’s about something much bigger. She tells Camille that he’s going to be a judge for the rest of his life; it’s a big thing. Kyle says her mother told her to never talk about religion, politics, or sex in a public setting, and wants to change it up. Dorit says it doesn’t sound like a discussion about politics. LisaR thanks everyone for coming, and says this is for her mom. They all toast to Lois.

Kyle says, guess who’s there, and watching them. It’s her sister Kim. They wave to her downstairs, and Kim holds a menu in front of her face. We flash back to her returning the infamous bunny to LisaR at the reunion. Kyle goes downstairs, and Kim says, what are the odds?

Dorit asks LisaR how she feels about seeing Kim. LisaR says she’s fine with it. Kim is a human existing on the earth like she is. They wonder if Camille left, but she’s crying on the stairs. She tells Kyle that she doesn’t know why she’s so upset, but she’s been accused of things she’s never done. It’s horrible to be put in that position. Kyle says, it’s okay to have a difference of opinion. Camille asks her to be a bridesmaid, and Kyle says she’d love to. In Kyle’s interview, she says she never thought she’d be asked by Camille at the bottom of the stairs while she was crying. Camille goes back upstairs, and says she’s not going to make excuses for her opinions. LisaR asks if she hurt Camille’s feelings, and Camille says she’s been the victim of a smear campaign, and it hurts. LisaR sits next to her, and she cries on LisaR’s shoulder, which I find a tad hypocritical on LisaR’s part. Teddi tells Camille that he doesn’t have that power anymore. LisaR says she’s moving to a new life, and deserves it.

Kyles sister Kathy is there too, and Kyle wonders if life could get stranger. There are ten thousand restaurants, and by coincidence, they all picked the same one. She’s happy they’re on speaking terms. Kim congratulates Camille, as LisaR strides past her. In LisaR’s interview, she asks why she should give two sh*ts, and say hello. Out of sight, out of mind, and she’s not thinking of Kim. She tells Lois that she just walked by. Again, kind of hypocritical when she was just saying they were both humans, blah-blah-blah.

Back home, LisaR tells Lois that she’s stunning. LisaR is exhausted, with all these dogs. They went from one to three. Really? Three dogs is exhausting when you have all that money and can hawk dusters on QVC all night? Ugh. I like her less and less. Lois doesn’t know how she manages. LisaR asks what Lois thought about the dinner. She says it was wild. She never heard them talk about politics. LisaR says they usually don’t, but it’s timely. Women are now being honest about rape and sexual harassment, when they’ve been quiet a long time. Lois says she was lucky. She shouldn’t be here, and neither should LisaR. In her interview, LisaR says, years before she was born, her mother was attacked by someone she worked with. He picked her up at the bus stop, but instead of taking her home, drove down a deserted road. Lois says he had a hammer in one hand, and a knife in the other, and tried to rape and kill her, but the military police knew no one should be driving there, and followed him. They saved her that day. She was the first one where he went to jail. He was in prison for seven and a half years, and after he got out, became a serial killer, murdering sixteen to eighteen women. We see newspaper headlines about the Trailside Killer. Holy! Lois can’t remember what she told her. LisaR says Lois couldn’t smell anything, and had metal plates in her head, but told her a kid on the playground had hit her with a hammer. When Lois finally told her the truth (on WWHL, LisaR said she was eighteen when Lois gave her the real story), she was filled with sadness and empathy, but not just because it happened. Lois had stuffed her feelings. Lois says she didn’t want LisaR to grow up scared. LisaR thought Lois was overprotective, and Lisa never quite trusted people. She says she must have put out the energy that no one should screw with her. she’s one of the few people she knows who’s never been harassed or attacked. In LisaR’s interview, she says it takes courage to come forward. The least we can do is show them compassion. She tells Lois that she’s strong, and Lois says LisaR will probably live to be 105 or more.

Later this season, LVP opens her Vegas restaurant, Boy George performs, Erika performs, rock climbing happens, rosé all day happens, Brandi (blech) gets together with Denise, Camille’s wedding happens, Denise talks to LVP, Camille’s house burns down, and Camille and Denise argue. Geez. Maybe this show is getting too depressing.

🔎 For Love Of True Crime…

For more on the Trailside Killer, go here;


If Loving You Is Wrong

Lushion paces near Kelly’s hospital room, saying, dammit Kelly. The prosecutor (whose name I don’t remember and got tired of searching for) asks what he’s doing there. He says, guarding Kelly. She says that’s what she heard. She spoke with the doctor, and it turns out nothing is wrong with Kelly. Lushion says, that’s good, and the prosecutor says Kelly is getting escorted back to jail now. Lushion thinks she should talk to Kelly, but she says she has nothing to say. She asks if he didn’t see her press conference. He says they have mountains of evidence and she refuses to listen to reason. She says a jury of twelve will do that, and asks him to move. He steps aside, and two officers go in. I can’t believe how cool Lushion is being. The prosecutor asks what’s wrong with him; he needs to let this go. That girl is going down. She says he can leave now, and goes into Kelly’s room. She comes back out, and says, not so fast. He says, damn.

They have a problem. They don’t have the right key for the cuffs. The prosecutor tells Lushion to come back and uncuff her. He goes inside, and Kelly is in the bed. He’s confused, as we all are, but says… um, nothing. Kelly says she can’t go back. She wants to talk to Justice. Lushion says he’ll see what he can do, and tells her, stay strong. He uncuffs her, and says he’s working on this. He’ll see her soon. The officers come in, and I notice that, oddly, Kelly is wearing clothing underneath her hospital robe. The prosecutor tells Lushion, if she didn’t know better, she’d think something improper was going on. He says if he didn’t know better, he’d think she didn’t want justice. She says she does; justice for Travis. He was the victim. She’s talking the truth, and Lushion says, the truth is, she wants to be reelected. She sits on her ivory throne, and is so busy, she won’t take the time to see how wrong this is. If she did, she’d see they have evidence that Travis was stalking Kelly, but all she cares about is a win. She could care less about putting a good woman in jail for life. She says she’s not. She wants the death penalty.

Esperanza comes to Larry’s office. She wants to find a legal way to get her ex to leave her alone. Larry says, don’t they all. Tell him more. She says he’s harassing her at work, and threatens every person she tries to date; they’re scared to be around her. He’s making her life a living hell. Larry suggests a restraining order, but she says they work in the same building. Larry says they can get him fired for sexual harassment. She says they have a daughter together. She doesn’t want to go that route. She just wants to find a way to get him to leave her alone. Larry asks what route she wants to take. Esperanza says there are certain things she knows; dates, times, and dirty deeds he’s done. Larry says, tell him more, but she doesn’t want do that. He asks how she wants him to do that if she won’t tell him anything? She asks if Larry can hire someone to kill him. Larry says he can’t do that, and wouldn’t advise it. She says she was kidding. He doesn’t think so, but says, so was he. She doesn’t want to ruin his life, but Larry says, some people’s lives should be ruined. She doesn’t want a restraining order, or to file charges, and she doesn’t want to kill him. Larry doesn’t know how to help. Esperanza wants to threaten to take sole custody of their daughter if he doesn’t leave her alone. Larry says, if he’s as bad as she says he is, a judge will be more than happy to consider that. She thinks it will make him calm down. Has she met Eddie? Larry thinks they can do that, and Esperanza says she wants to speak to him first. If he won’t listen, she’ll move forward. Larry is more than happy to help. She asks what it will cost, and Larry says, off record, getting even with him is fine. Esperanza asks if he had a bad experience, and Larry says, he did, but he loved it. It was like rocket fuel for him. Esperanza leaves. Larry laughs, and makes notes.

Randal stomps into his house. He makes a drink, and nods to himself. He calls Marcie. She answers, what? like I do when I’m pissed at the caller. He says she thinks she’s so damn smart. She tells him, don’t call again, but he says he will. She thinks she’s smart. She says he made her lose the baby. She’s trying not to think about the pain he caused. She’s concentrating on work and moving on. She thinks this is smart actually. Randal loses it, and she says she’s past dealing with him. He asks if she’s going to run and tell Brad, and she says maybe she’ll send him to kick Randal’s ass again. Ha-ha! Randal says, yawn. He’s going to get even. She says, you do that.

Macie calls Brad, who asks how she is. She says she’d be better if she could get Randal to stop calling. Brad calls him an, indolent prick, which sounds nearly posh with his accent. Marcie asks if Alex signed the papers, and Brad says, not yet. She wanted a lawyer go over them. Marcie says, it’s probably for the best. If there’s no counsel, she could contest it, like Randal. She says there’s nothing she can do about it – except find a drug addict to kill him. Maybe Wyatt (HAHN) could use a job. Brad says she doesn’t want to end up in Kelly’s shoes; try and let it go. She says she’s trying; Randal isn’t. She wishes they could move away to another town. He does too, but the kids are there. She says she’ll be home at seven, and he asks if she’d like to go out to eat. She says she’d like that, and he says he’ll see her then.

Tanya sleeps on the couch. Ben sits in a nearby chair. She wakes, and says she slept a long time. He asks how she feels, and she says, better. How bad was it? He says, not that bad, and she says, don’t lie. He asks how much she remembers. She says she remembers being cold, and the neighbor, the psychologist. He came to the house; it was weird. She doesn’t want to talk to him again – ever. She wonders if everybody’s going to be looking at her like she’s insane. He says, they seem like nice people, but she says, so did the last ones. He says, that was different. She doesn’t like being stared at. She’s alone, in a new place. Ben suggests they get to know their new neighbors. Alex seems nice, and Natalie from down the street. Tanya says, not today. He asks what she’s going to do, and she thinks she’ll finish her book. He thinks that’s a good idea, and she says, she’ll make him lunch. He says, perfect. She apologizes, and he sits next to her. He says, don’t, and she asks why he stays with her. He says because he loves her. She gives him all he needs. She says she can’t give him a child, and he asks if that’s why she stopped taking her meds. She says she can’t have a baby, but she wants one. He says she can’t stop taking her meds. She insists she was fine until Randal talked to her. He says she thought she was fine. She swears she was, but he tells her, don’t do it again. After they get settled in, they’ll talk about adoption or a surrogate. She says they can’t afford one, but he says they’ll work toward it. She’s all the family he needs. He loves her. She says she loves him too, and he tells her, she’s going to be okay, and holds her. For a moment there, I thought I was watching a Tennessee Williams play.

Natalie calls Marcie to check on her. Marcie say she’s been having a hard time since she lost the baby. Natalie is sorry, and Marcie says she’s been through it before. At least she’s divorced. Natalie congratulates her, and Marcie asks how Kelly is doing. Natalie says, she’s better. Marcie says, no man is worth taking your life, and Natalie adds, especially a sorry ass loser. Marcie says Natalie’s got a good one. Natalie agrees, and says she’ll kill a bitch to protect him. She asks if the police talked to Marcie, and Marcie says, no. Natalie wonders why, and Marcie says, no proof, and if they do show up, Larry will handle it. Brad comes in with flowers, and Marcie says she’ll call Natalie back. She ask Brad, why? and he says she deserves them. She has a few more calls, and he asks if she can make them from the car. He has a surprise. They’re going somewhere nice. It’s their first official date. She says she’s ready, and they leave.

Sitting on the front porch, Randal looks at Tanya and Ben’s house with binoculars. Natalie sees him, and walks up to the porch, startling him when he sees her magnified. She asks what he’s doing, and he says, looking in the house. She says she’s going to tell Tanya’s husband, and Randal says he’ll tell him that she’s ghetto as hell. Like this is a threat. She says she’s cut his ass before. Tanya is a woman alone, and she’s not well. Randal says Natalie isn’t well, and she says he’s crazy as hell. He says, damn right. Welcome to his world. She wishes his ass burned up in the fire. She tells him that it was her, but he says that’s too smart for her. She says, you only need cheese to catch a rat. Leave that woman alone. She’s telling her husband. Randal says, go. Tell him.

At the station, Esperanza tells Eddie that she needs to talk to him. He says that thing she’s doing with her mouth is talking, but she says, not here. Somewhere more civil. He says, her, him, and her bedroom works. She doesn’t want to argue, and tells him to focus. He looks at her butt, and says he’s focusing. She asks him to meet her for lunch, and he wonders if she’s going to poison him. She says she has something to scare him, but he says there’s nothing scary about her unless she’s in between waxes. She says she’ll text him the restaurant. He says he’ll be there.

Ben leaves the house, and I wonder why Natalie didn’t go straight over there. He knocks on Randal’s door. Randal asks how his wife is, and Ben says, good. She said Randal talked to her. He asks what Randal talked about, and Randal says, the neighborhood. Ben asks if that’s it. Randal asks what she said. Ben says she has a mental illness, and Randal says he picked up on that. It’s a shame. Ben says, yes it is. They’re new in the neighborhood, and Randal can do them a favor by not talking to her. Randal says, that’s a little rude, and Ben says, yeah, but necessary. Randal says, okay. He won’t say anything, but she’s going to have another break. Ben says, she just needs to take her meds. Randal says, what if she doesn’t? and reminds Ben that he helped Tanya. Ben appreciates it, but says, don’t talk to her again. Randal asks if he’s the jealous kind, and Ben says, no; the loving kind. Randal laughs, and says, isn’t that cute? Ben tells Randal, have a nice day. When he’s gone, Randal stomps out of his house, and walks over to Alex’s, saying, no rest for him. He’ll make that crazy bitch even crazier.

Randal knocks on Alex’s door, and she lets him in. He says she looks good, and she says this is about the baby. He says, RJ, and she says, his name is Brad. He says they’ll talk about that, and she says they have a few things they need to talk about. She asks if he’s been drinking; that’s one deal breaker. He can’t drink when he comes over. He asks who the hell she thinks she is, setting ground rules. She says, please don’t drink, okay? He says, all right, and asks where the baby is. Alex says, upstairs, and he says, in the bedroom? practically wiggling his eyebrows. Alex says he’s here to see the baby; that’s is it. She needs to talk to him about the baby. She thinks there was a mix up at the lab, and wants another DNA test. He says she told him the doctor switched the results. Alex says, she didn’t. Randal says, then how did it come back that it wasn’t his kid. She doesn’t know, and he tells her not to play with him. Is she trying to trick him? She says, not at all. He asks did she sleep with someone else? and she says, no. He wonders, why take another test?  She says she was doing research. There have been cases where a child came out with a recessive gene, and looks like the great-grandparent. Randal asks if she has Black great-grandparents. She doesn’t, and he asks, does Brad? She says, no, and he asks what the hell she’s talking about. She says she needs to be sure, and he says, no. He asks if she’s saying is that she was with someone else, but she says she wasn’t. He says she told him that he’s the only Black man she was ever with. If that’s true, she doesn’t need to take the test. She says, forget it, and asks if he wants to see the baby or not. He says he wants a real good look. Who was she with? The mailman? She says now he’s just being ridiculous. He says all this time alone here, and there have been no other men? She says he’s paranoid. Forget she brought it up. He says he’s still suing the doctor. Alex repeats, she didn’t do it, but he says no way the test should have come back as not his. She says, doesn’t he want to know what happened? He knows damn well it’s not Brad’s baby. Don’t let him find out it’s not his baby. Does she hear him? If she thinks he did something to her before, let him find out that’s not his baby. She asks if he wants to see him, and he says he wants to study him. His face, nose, feet, hands, and fingers. Alex says, fine, come see his son. I would so not be alone with this guy.

Eddie meets Esperanza at the restaurant. She already ordered his favorite. Eddie asks if she’s going to tell him she’s dying. She wishes he’d apologize, and he says he’s sorry she sent her boyfriend to beat him up. Esperanza says he’s not her boyfriend, and Eddie started everything. He says her opening her legs started it. She says she didn’t come here for this, and he asks why they’re here. She says they’ve been doing this way too long. She wants to find way they can be civil, and co-exist for their daughter. He says he is civil. She says he’s the most uncivil person she knows. When they met, he was completely different. He insists this is the way he’s always been. He played the good guy to get her to fall in love with him. She asks if he won’t consider changing for their daughter, and if he’s just going to continue using drugs, harassing her, and everyone she knows. He says if he ain’t happy, no one is going to be. She says she’s tried talking, giving him the benefit of the doubt; she’s tried everything. She wants sole custody.

Eddie tells her, get out of here, and Esperanza says she doesn’t want him around their daughter without supervision. She has a list of sh*t he’s done that she knows about. He says, she’s serious? She wants him to leave her alone. He says he’d never hurt their daughter. She says when done talking judge, nothing he has to say will matter. He thinks Steven put her up to this, and she asks if he’s crazy. He yells that he’d like a side of get this bitch out of my face. She slaps him, and says she’s tried everything. Now she’s threatening him. If she puts the list she has in front of a judge, he’ll never see his daughter again. He says he’ll put her in a box, and she says she’ll get a lawyer. He calls her a bitch again. She slaps him again, and asks if he’s dense in the head. Get prepared; she’s calling a lawyer. He says she can’t afford one, and she says, wrong. Larry will take the case.

He tells her to get out of his face. She says, gladly. She fishes in her purse, but can’t find her wallet. He laughs, and asks if anyone wants free p*ssy. She’ll do it for a burger. He suggests she call her boy toy. He tells her not to think of walking out; he’s an officer. She say she’s not stealing, and he asks if she thinks he won’t take her to jail. The manager comes over, and says, it’s okay. She comes there all the time. Eddie tells him to get his fat ass away, and Esperanza tells Eddie to stop. He grabs her, and cuffs her. He says he should have done this a long time ago. Don’t make him hit her for resisting. He tells the restaurant patrons, enjoy lunch.

Dr. Raston goes to Alex’s house. She tells Alex that she’s been calling. They need to talk. Alex invites her in. The doctor says she had to go to the Board, and tell them what Alex did. She’s also talking to a lawyer today. Alex is truly sorry. Dr. Raston says she reran the test. She thought Alex would like to know the result before Brad does. She hands Alex a manila envelope. Alex reads what’s inside, and says, oh my God. She and the doctor look at each other.

Next time, Dr. Raston knows Alex has another secret, Esperanza tells Kelly that Eddie is done, and Tanya threatens to call the police on Randal.


🐰 It’s Not About the Bunny…

For several reasons. It’s going to be Easter soon, it’s way late, and in case you came late to the party.



















April 9, 2019 – Two Plans Are Hatched, LVP Celebrates Her Birthday Without Kyle, Tanya Has a Breakdown & Morning


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny introduces himself to Neil, and asks if he wants coffee. Neil just wants to know what he’s doing there.

Chase and Willow go to The Floating Rib. He asks if she’s sure she’s okay. She seems quiet. She says, other than DOD members, she’s never shown anyone else the tattoo. He’s glad she trusted him, and she says he needs to understand how insidious DOD is. Michael joins them, and Willow asks if his little sister is still involved with DOD. He says, she’s getting in deeper. He’s tried to reconnect with her, but it’s slow going. Willow says his sister is in more trouble than he realizes.

Sam goes to the attic, and looks in Harmony’s bag. She sees the tool roll, and looks through it. She says, someone’s getting a tattoo.

Shiloh greets Harmony, and asks if she’s met Kristina. She says she has, and prepared her for the ceremony. He asks if she played nice, and she says, of course. Kristina is a perfect candidate for the Trust. He’s glad she approves. Kristina also introduced her sister, and said Sam is a devoted student. He says, she’s learning. He asks if the supplies are ready in the attic, and Harmony says she’ll show him.

At the hospital, Curtis asks Jordan how dialysis went, and she says, it was a super-hot session. He says he should be jealous, and she says he might have reason to be. All of a sudden, she feels lightheaded. Curtis asks if she’s okay, and she collapses in his arms.

At The Floating Rib, Ava thanks Felicia and Laura for meeting her. She wants to discuss the problem they have in common – Ryan Chamberlain.

Curtis gives Jordan some water. She wants to get moving, and he says she just fainted. She says she was lightheaded; it can happen after dialysis. He wants a doctor to check her out, but she says she just needs to recover from the never ending calls from Margaux. Curtis says Margaux is relentless. Jordan says she chose to answer the calls, and chose to keep arguing about it. Curtis asks, about what? and she says Margaux closed the case on Ryan Chamberlain.

Ava says Ryan is MIA, and Felicia agrees he might still be alive. They need a plan of action. Laura wants to wait for the lab report to see if he was alive or dead when his hand was severed. Ava says, he probably chopped it off himself. Felicia wouldn’t put past him, if it would make the cops think he was dead. Ava says, he’s hiding; biding his time. Felicia says, he’ll wait. Give them a chance to get back to their lives and get complacent. Then he’ll come back for what he wants. Ava asks what Felicia thinks that is, and Felicia says, Ava.

Sonny tells Neil to have a seat. Neil is aware of Sonny’s reputation, but Sonny says the meeting has nothing to do with business; it involves a family member. He has a contact in security screening who said Neil has the expertise he’s looking for in rescuing people from cults. Neil asks what’s happening, and Sonny says, his daughter, Kristina. Jason says she’s heavily involved in the group Dawn of Day. Sonny says he needs Neil’s help to get her out of there.

Shiloh tells Harmony, before they go upstairs, he has good news. He found her. Harmony says, omg; where is she? He says, here in Port Charles. She’s been there for months. Harmony says she had no idea, and Shiloh says, obviously. Harmony asks if he’s seen her. He says, yes, and Harmony asks, how is she? He says, she seems well. As beautiful as ever. The only difference is, she changed her name. She goes by Willow Tait.

Willow tells Michael that she wasn’t entirely honest about her involvement with DOD. She used to be a member. She wasn’t even twenty, and it was the biggest mistake of her life. Michael asks why she left, and Willow says she knew she had to. He asks for specifics. Willow hesitates, and he says, Molly thinks Kristina has been brainwashed. Anything she can tell him would be helpful. She says, it’s hard to say. She came to her senses. Chase says Shiloh has been trying to find her since she left. He’s trying to lure her back. Michael says maybe Willow can talk to Kristina, but Willow says, members are taught to be distrustful of anyone who leaves. Shiloh instills intense loyalty, but he’s after more than loyalty. Michael asks if there’s anything criminal, but Chase says, nothing he can be prosecuted for. Michael wonders how he can help Kristina. Willow says if she’s been selected for the Trust, she’ll think it’s an honor to be chosen. Once you’re admitted, the way it’s set up, when you’re in, it’s almost impossible to get out.

Sam takes pictures of the instruments, and packs everything back up. She take pictures of the room. Outside in the hallway, Shiloh tells Harmony they need to focus on Kristina first. Sam hears them coming.

Shiloh and Harmony go into the room, and no surprise, there’s no Sam. Shiloh says, it looks good. The perfect welcome. He hopes Kristina isn’t having second thoughts. Harmony says she doesn’t know Kristina well, but she doesn’t think so. Sam was asking questions though. Shiloh says Sam is protective, but Harmony doesn’t think the words registered. Kristina is so eager, she asked to skip the pre-ceremony reflection. Shiloh asks if Harmony told her it was mandatory, and Harmony says, of course. She asks, what about Kristina’s pledge? and he says, it’s a good one. A truth about her family. It will be useful. Shiloh has to finish the preparations for midnight, and they leave. Sam comes out of hiding, and jets.

Sonny asks if Neil knows how things work at DOD. Neil says he’s heard about the organization, but his work is confidential. Sonny doesn’t care about ethics; he just wants answers. Jason looks at his phone, and has to run. Sonny asks what Neil has heard about DOD. Neil says it meets the general criteria of a cult. A charismatic leader, who gives vague promises of spiritual enlightenment. They’re xenophobic, and don’t trust outsiders. Their legitimacy comes from their leader, so Sonny’s daughter is in a cult. Sonny asks how they help her. Neil tells him, keep an open line of communication. The family needs to let her know they’re on her side. Sonny says they’re past that already. She’s cut ties, and there’s only one family member who has contact; her older brother. Sonny says he’s taking steps to remove her, and Neil says he hopes not by force.

Harmony tells Shiloh that she thinks Kristina will be a valuable addition to the circle. She’s bright, enthusiastic, and good with people. Shiloh says she’ll be beneficial. Now if they can just get Kelly… Willow to come home. Harmony reminds him that tonight is about Kristina. She’s going to prepare a drink to calm Kristina down. They walk to the kitchen, and Sam flies out the door and runs.

Michael asks Willow, what happens in the Trust? She says the member is given more responsibility. Shiloh makes them feel special, indispensable, but he’s just tightening the noose. He assures their loyalty. Michael asks what they have to do to be chosen, but she says, it’s up to Shiloh. He chooses the members, and decides when they’re ready for initiation. Michael asks what’s required? and she says, they’re asked to give themselves over to DOD in every conceivable way. After they commit, there’s no turning back.

Felicia tells Ava, if Ryan survived – and she thinks he did – he’s coming back. He literally can’t help himself. He fixated on her years ago in Texas. She saw him murder his wife, and she took Maxie and fled. He was so infatuated with her, he followed her. He was relentless, and showed up at her wedding to Mac with a bomb. He was sent to an asylum, killed his therapist, and escaped. He could have disappeared, but he came back and kidnapped Georgie just to get her attention. Ava is his new obsession, and she needs to be ready for his return. Ava says, exactly. That’s why she’s here. She needs to know everything about Ryan, so when he comes back for her, she’s ready.

Jordan tells Curtis that Margaux decided to go with the Canadian authorities on this one. She doesn’t want to spend any more time or money searching for Ryan or his remains. Curtis says if he’s still alive, he has no one looking for him. He’s been given a free pass. Jordan says she spent the entire time during her treatment arguing the point with Margaux, and got nowhere. He says, Margaux is wrong on this one, and she says, the cops can’t do anything; so he’ll have to.

Felicia says they need to take action; be in control, and seize the momentum. Lure Ryan back to Port Charles, on their timetable, not his. Ava says, that’s great in theory, but how do they manage it realistically? Felicia says, use Ava as bait.

Jordan says Curtis is the best investigator she’s ever worked with. He’s smart, intuitive, and better at documenting elements than any cop she knows. He hated the paperwork, and she says, the good news is, he’s no longer a cop, paperwork doesn’t matter. She wants him to go to Niagara Falls, and pick up where they left off. Find out who’s seen Ryan or who he’s spoken to. He asks if she thinks he’ll do better than all the professionals have. The case came up empty. She says he gets the kind of intel that cracks cases. She’d do it herself if she could. He says she’s in no position, and she says, but he is. And she needs it for her peace of mind.

Neil tells Sonny that he won’t be a party to kidnapping. Sonny says he didn’t say kidnapping, but Neil says, it was strongly implied. Sonny says, all Neil needs to know, is they’re getting her out. When she’s home, she’ll need to get her life back together. She’s smart, but just got lost. He says, a couple of years ago, his son was killed. He was a lot like Kristina; impulsive and volatile. In the end, Sonny couldn’t save him. He’s not going to have another child dead. He’s asking, please, can Neil help him get his daughter back?

Kristina comes downstairs, and tells Shiloh that she wasn’t sure what to wear. Shiloh says she looks lovely, but there’s a special garment. Another word no one uses, unless they’re in the fashion industry. Harmony says she’ll go get it. Shiloh asks if Kristina is nervous, but she says she’s eager, anticipating. Harmony told her what to expect, and she can’t wait. He heard she wanted to forego the personal reflection. She says she knows she’s ready, but he says it’s important to meditate. It’s the time to make sure she’s clear on devoting herself to DOD. The time to turn back. He wants her to be certain; it’s her choice. She says she is, but he thinks she should still meditate on the gravity of her commitment. Take the time to think. She’s always happy to be enlightened, but he didn’t really explain his part. He’ll be there, right?

Michael says, so it appears consensual, and Willow says Shiloh convinces the member it’s something they should want; an honor. Michael says, technically, no laws are broken. His phone dings, and he has to meet someone. He’s sorry to crash their date. and thanks Willow. He knows it’s difficult, but she might have saved his sister. Willow hopes so. Michael leaves, and Chase tells Willow that it was brave of her to share. She hopes it’s not too late. Kristina is almost totally submerged. She tells Chase that she can’t stand one more minute, and wants to focus on anything else that has nothing to do with DOD. He thinks he has an idea.

Jason meets Michael, and tells him that Sam is meeting them. She got some information on DOD. Michael says he did his best to get Sonny to back off, but they’re wrong. It’s worse than they realized. Sam joins them, and Michael says his friend Willow gave him some information. She was in the circle close to Shiloh. Sam says, the Trust. Michael asks if Kristina is in it, and Sam says, not yet, but she knows Shiloh is planning on initiating her tonight. She shows them the pictures, and Michael says, it’s exactly how Willow described it. Jason says, that’s tattooing equipment, and Sam says, a tangible symbol that you belong to DOD. You’re marked for life, but that’s just the beginning.

Felicia tells Ava, as long as Ryan is obsessed with her, use it. Ava says she’ll do whatever it takes, and Felicia says, lure him back. Laura says she can’t help them. Vigilante justice is never a good idea for the mayor. Ava understands her reluctance, but thinks Laura should leave before they discuss their plan further.

As they put on their skates, Willow says she’d never guess Chase was into roller disco. He says he’s never tried it. The ice skating was such a success, it was turned into a roller rink for spring and summer. She says it’s been a while since she skated. Chase says the last time he skated didn’t go so well. It was a birthday party he went to in high school. He was trying to impress a girl, and started going too fast. He couldn’t stop, and crashed into the DJ booth. She laughs, and he says, it’s not funny. He was called Wipeout for two years. He struggles to stand, and she says, come on, Wipeout. Now’s his chance.

Neil tells Sonny, once there’s an exit, the process has to be challenged. They need to show Kristina that her decision making process has been compromised, but she’ll resist. Believing her family is key. Sonny says, her mother might take convincing, but she’ll come around. She wants Kristina out like he does. Neil flashes back taking to Alexis saying Kristina’s father is impatient. He wants to get her out now, and deal with the psychological ramifications later. He’s prepared to kidnap her. Neil tells Sonny that Kristina is fortunate. Not everyone has the same level of parental involvement. With prior exits, there hasn’t been great success. Followers are taught to resist outsider’s opinions, and anyone who criticizes the principals and teachings. Sonny asks, will he help? Neil says his last exit therapy ended badly. He doesn’t think he’s the right person to help Sonny’s daughter.

Sam tells Jason and Michael that she overheard Harmony talking about how Kristina pledged to give Shiloh something. It’s about the family. Michael asks who Harmony is, and Jason says she’s Shiloh’s number two, and in charge of Beechers Corners. Sam says she’s there for Kristina’s initiation. Michael tells them that Willow said Shiloh chooses the criteria for the pledge, but didn’t tell them anything specific. Jason asks how Kristina is. Sam says, she’s excited to be part if Shiloh’s inner circle, and Michael says, she has no idea what’s coming.

Shiloh tells Kristina that he doesn’t participate in the actual ceremony. She thought since DOD was his vision, he would. He says, the Trust is a community within the community. It’s a special sisterhood, and she needs to bond with them. They’ve gone through the ritual already, and will welcome her into their company. She says, so he has no part in the initiation? but he says he never said that.

Felicia tells Ava not to let Laura’s goody-goody mayor act fool her. Laura is the real deal. Laura asks what they have in mind. She’s not committing; just asking. Felicia says, Ryan’s Achille’s Heel is his pride. He can’t stand when someone beats him. Ava says he lost it when Franco went public with his fake confession, and took credit for his genius. Laura says, when he held them in Ferncliff, Doc manipulated him by pointing out his mistakes, and it caused him to make more. Felicia says it was the same with her and Mac. Ryan lost all his common sense trying to tear them apart. Ava asks if Felicia is suggesting she find a new man and flaunt it. Felicia says it would infuriate him, and motivate him to come back to claim her for himself.

Curtis asks if Jordan wants him to head up to Canada and do a comprehensive search. Jordan says it’s the only way to know if Ryan survived. He says his wife is having a health crisis, but she says it was just dialysis. He says she lost one kidney, and the other is compromised. He needs to be there; he loves her. Jordan says she understands, but he’ll need more than that to get her to take it easy for the foreseeable future. She needs to rest up. If Ryan survived, and is heading to Port Charles, she needs to be ready. He says, gearing up to do battle with a serial killer isn’t resting. He might have to tie her to the bed. She says only if she gets to tie him up too. Her phone rings. He tells her not to answer if it’s Margaux. She says it’s the forensics lab. The results on Ryan’s hand are in.

Sonny says Neil is an expert at exit therapy, but Neil says there are other experts. He can give Sonny a referral. Sonny says he doesn’t need a referral. He can tell Neil is smart and perceptive, and he doesn’t want to waste time. He understands what Kristina is going through, and has the skill to help her. Neil tells him flattery isn’t going to help, and Sonny tells him to name a price.

Shiloh says after she’s welcomed to the Trust, he’ll complete the initiation. Kristina asks how that works, and he says she’ll find out when she’s ready. She’ll have hours to tell him all about what happened in her own special way. She can’t wait. Harmony brings her the garment for her initiation. Shiloh says he forgot; he doesn’t have a picture with Kristina. He asks Harmony to take one. She tells them, smile and say Dawn of Day.

Michael tells Sam and Jason, the honoree is left alone for fifteen minutes to reflect on their commitment. Shiloh makes a big deal about it being the final offer to back out. Jason says so he can’t be nailed for anything illegal. Michael says, he’s not there for the tattoo part, but afterward, he welcomes the honoree into the Trust by having sex with them.

Laura thinks baiting Ryan is practically suicide, but Ava says justice for her daughter is worth it. Felicia says they’ll have a safeguard, and Laura says, what kind? Say they’re right, and Ryan is coming back for Ava. If he believes she’s happy with her new man, he’ll be in a jealous rage. What’s to stop him from killing the two of them? Ava pats her bag, and says she has a handle on it. Felicia says, it’s risky, but if he’s out there, they need to stop him. Does Laura have a better idea?

Jordan tells Curtis that Ryan was alive when his hand was severed. Curtis says, the injury could have killed him; he could have bled out. Jordan says, or survived.

Willow tells Chase she had so much fun, and he lived up to his name. He says, the humiliation was worth it. He got to take her out. They kiss.

Sonny tells Neil, once Kristina is out, he can step in. Neil says he hasn’t agreed, and Sonny says he’ll pay whatever Neil wants. Neil says, it’s not about money. Sonny says, it’s about Kristina’s life, future, and freedom. She’s made mistakes, and this one could take her down. She needs to get her head on straight. Can Neil help her? Neil agrees, and says once Sonny has her away from DOD, he’ll step in. They shake hands, and Sonny thanks him. Neil says to let him know when he’s needed.

Michael says he has to tell Kristina, and Jason asks if he thinks it would change her mind. Sam says, not at all. Kristina is honored. Michael says if he can’t convince her, they’ll have to take her. Jason says he’ll handle it. It’s better Kristina be mad at him. It will give Michael room to help her. He’s going to talk to the bartender and establish an alibi. He leaves, and Sam says they have to hurry. Kristina is being initiated at midnight.

Shiloh leads Kristina is to the attic. She goes inside, and says, it’s amazing. She had no idea what was up there. Shiloh says only members of the Trust are allowed to see it, and soon, she’ll be one of them. He brings out a sheet, and says he’s transferred her pledge to print for her to sign. She says, like a contract? but he says, more like a safeguard; in case something happens to the recording. Kristina hopes he put it away for safekeeping, and he asks if she’s questioning the ritual and her commitment. She says she’s committed, and signs. I’m thinking she should be committed. Shiloh says, very good, and takes the paper. Kristina wants to make him proud; repay him for everything he’s given her. He strokes her hair, and says she’s such a special person. He tells her, enjoy the ceremony, and leaves. She waits and smiles, but her smile looks a little hesitant.

Tomorrow, Maxie asks Peter if he’s staying or going, Chase has something he hopes Willow is into, and Jason says he’s getting Kristina out.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I’m bummed before the show even starts, and oh great, we see part of the fight again.

24 hours later. Kyle tells the others (minus LVP and LisaR), they won’t believe what happened. She went to LVP’s because she felt bad. As a friend, she couldn’t say LVP wouldn’t do this. LVP wants her to swoop in, but when it comes not telling truth, she’s not willing to do that. In her interview, Kyle says she thought the issues with LVP were over, until Dorit found the article online. Immediately, the women assumed LVP was behind the story. As her friend, Kyle felt awful about the conversation behind LVP’s back. We see clips of that conversation. Kyle tells them that she wanted to tell the truth, and lay everything on the table, but it was angry and hostile. Ken said he hoped she’d told the others it wasn’t true, but she said she couldn’t do that. He said she wasn’t his or LVP’s effing friend, and to get out. Throughout her story, we keep flashing back to this total downer. LVP told her there was nothing left to say, and asked her to leave. She could have said she was sorry Kyle felt that way. Anything but this. Erika says, that’s not friendship; that’s bullsh*t. Zzzzz… Erika. I’m tired of her acting like she knows everything because she’s a C-list celebrity who dances around in spandex, and is moderately successful because she has the bucks and is on this show.

We see pink roses at Villa Rosa, delivered for LVP’s birthday. Giggy! Giggy licks tea from Ken’s finger. LVP doesn’t think Ken ever lost it like that. She tells Ken that kitchen designer Steven is coming. She asks why Ken looks worried, and wonders if it’s the expense or the thought of them not living with a cooking facility. It’s going to be more expensive than she told him, and he says he knew it would be. Steven arrives, and says he has good stuff to show her. LVP makes tea. In her interview, she says it didn’t feel right to have a big birthday celebration, since losing her brother. Ken and Pandora are throwing her a surprise party, so she’s just going along with it. She shows Steven a locket the kids got her, with pictures of them, Ken, and Nanny Kay. In LVP’s interview, she says she’s taken a lot of stuff from Kyle. We flash back to Kyle wondering who Nanny Kay is, and LVP says, it’s the little things like that, that hurt. She asks Steven when they’re starting. She wants a transformed space, and wants it fresh, bright, and positive. He shows her a cabinet door, and says they still need to hit the stone yards for options. She quite likes the countertop material. Steven says, it will be a lot of white; she’ll have a lighter, happier kitchen. In LVP’s interview, she says she hasn’t had a good time in that kitchen lately. Kyle was aggressive, and she wants a new beginning, and to create something gorgeous. She tells Ken the kitchen has a negative vibe, and she wants it gone.

Kyle meets Mauricio for dinner. In her interview, she says their date nights have changed over twenty-five years. It was all about the kids, then business, and now it’s where do they see themselves in ten years? Mauricio asks how her day was, and she says she likes to have a lot of balls in the air. He says he had a great day, meeting with amazing developers. A waiter grates truffles on the pasta, and Kyle finds out they’re $3K a pound. She tells Mauricio, a few weeks ago, she woke up thinking things felt different. There’s been a shift in energy. Mauricio says, things can’t be perfect all the time. She knows there have been problems here and there, but this feels sad. She still hasn’t spoken to LVP. Mauricio says they were such good friends. Kyle feels horrible, and still loves her.

LVP tells Ken she doesn’t want love like that. She wouldn’t love someone who she thought was manipulative and a liar.

Kyle tells Mauricio the only reason there’s an issue is because she didn’t stand up and say LVP wouldn’t do this. Mauricio is shocked at how Ken spoke to Kyle, and says, it’s unacceptable.

LVP tells Ken that he came on strong. He agrees, and says when Kyle picked on her, he saw red.

Mauricio tells Kyle that she should stand up for her friends, but at the end of the day, she has to be true to herself. In Kyle’s interview, she thought she and LVP were in a place where they would never fight again. She hates the bad feelings. She tells Mauricio that LVP holds friendship as a ransom. Mauricio says, she’s always been like that. Kyle feels sad.

LVP tells Ken, she can say she’s hurt, or that she doesn’t like what Kyle did, but she’s not going to stand there and say what an effing bitch she was. Oops. She just said it.

Dorit experiments with smoothies for PK, with help from PK’s assistant Sadie. In her interview, Dorit says, PK was diagnosed with diabetes before they met. It’s been a daily struggle. She tells Sadie, if PK doesn’t change his lifestyle, it will become irreversible. He can’t wrap his head around it being a serious illness. We see clips of him stuffing his face and drinking like a fish. She wants him to be able to enjoy what he eats, and he can, as long as it’s balanced. She and Sadie puzzle over the bullet blender. Sadie turns it on and runs. Dorit can’t shut it off, and Sadie ends up pulling the plug. They make a smoothie, and Dorit is the tasting guinea pig. In her interview, she says she’ll try anything to trick PK into eating healthier, but this is the most disgusting smoothie she’s ever tasted. If she can’t swallow it, there’s no way PK will. She tells Sadie that she feels like she’s drinking… Sadie says, compost?

LisaR, Denise, and Erika go to a flying yoga session. In her interview, LisaR say she’s game to try anything. Maybe she’s going through a midlife yoga crisis. Denise and Erika don’t five a f***. Those are her kind of people. Mine too, but I’m sticking with just Denise. The instructor explains how it works. They hang upside down, and LisaR asks if it hurts their Botox. In LisaR’s interview, she says it’s absurd, but it’s not like she hasn’t been upside down with her legs spread before. Well, maybe not upside down. They right themselves. In Denise’s interview, she says she’s up for any type of exercise, but she doesn’t get this or what it does. It’s one of those weird LA classes. The instructor congratulates them on their first inversion. Erika gets stuck. You’d think she’d be the one who could do it with all the jumping around she does on stage. In her interview, she says she will not be incorporating aerial work into her show.

Erika says she had a great time at the wedding. Kyle told her that she was going to see LVP, and LisaR says Kyle claimed it got heated, and they threw her out of the house. In LisaR’s interview, she says she’s seen Kyle and LVP fight and come back together tons of times. It must be devastating for Kyle. To be kicked out of the house is pretty major; a whole other level. LisaR wants to get together for Denise next Friday, since she couldn’t be there. Erika has rehearsal, and can’t make it. She’s excited the tour has sold out in Chicago. In her interview, she says, when you find out people are hungry for you, you want to go everywhere you possibly can. Forget your families; you’re on the road, so merry Christmas. Denise can’t wait to see her show. Erika says she’s welcome to jump on the tour.

Aaron puts up security cameras. Denise says now they can see if people sneak in or out. In her interview, she explains that Sammie is in high school, and that’s when kids start sneaking out. She started at fifteen. She’s putting up cameras, so they can catch her. She tells Aaron, at least they’re honest. They could have hid them. I don’t think I ever snuck out, but I didn’t always go where I said I was going. They do some barbecuing, since they’re flying solo tonight. Denise likes hanging out with Aaron. She feels badly for Kyle, and asks Aaron if women fighting is weird. Men are different. He says they just take it outside, and she says women go on and on and on. In her interview, she says, Aaron is a great sounding board for girl talk. He actually listens, and gives good input. She asks him if she should talk to LVP, and he asks what she wants to achieve by getting in the middle of it. She says her experiences with LVP have been lovely, and she’s been kind to Eloise. Aaron says it’s tough be in her position. They just met, and LVP appears to be nice. Denise says she doesn’t want to get on LVP’s bad side. If she did this, she plays dirty. In Denise’s interview, she says she’s encountered dirty players. At the time, she kept her mouth shut, but in hindsight, she’d fight fire with fire. Aaron says LVP will probably call her. If the opportunity presents itself, okay, but whatever happens, speak her truth. She says when she talks to LVP, she’ll see where it goes.

In her interview, Dorit explains that PK has type 2 diabetes, but is on the cusp of going into type 1, which is more serious and irreversible. She tries desperately to get him to eat healthy, but it’s virtually impossible to get him to eat vegetables. She’s trying to undo his lifestyle for something healthier. She checks his blood, and says, it’s 318. PK jokes that he’s close to a diabetic coma, but Dorit doesn’t think it’s funny. She can’t get through to him. In Dorit’s interview, she says he’s an impossible patient. He brushes it off, and says he’ll do it tomorrow, and it’s frustrating. If she saw anything was registering, she would feel hope. Jaeger asks Dorit to take the dill off his cracker or whatever. She tells PK there’s been no communication with LVP. He wasn’t aware they’d fallen out, and she says she wasn’t aware either. She has no idea where LVP’s head is. PK says she didn’t ask him to come to her birthday. Why didn’t she invite anyone? Dorit can’t answer for her. In her interview, once again she says she didn’t do anything wrong, and I scream in my head. PK says, when LVP is ready, she’ll tell him the way she feels. Dorit says LVP will get to the point when she wants talk, and when she does, Dorit will be ready and available. Until then, she’s getting on with life.

Teddi meets LisaR for lunch. Teddi says she’s been super busy. She’s started falling asleep giving her daughter a goodnight kiss. LisaR misses those days. She says, they go by fast, and then they tell you, get out. The others are joining them, but Denise is stopping for a drink with LVP before she comes.

Kyle calls Denise, who says she’ll be late. She’s meeting LVP at TomTom. In her interview, Denise says, like Aaron said would happen, she heard from LVP, who asked her to stop by. Kyle says it’s her birthday celebration. Denise doesn’t know if she can help smooth things over, but she’s willing to give it a shot. Kyle doesn’t know if LVP will respond, but asks Denise to tell her happy birthday. She hasn’t heard from LVP, but maybe Denise can bridge the gap.

My brain shorts out when I see Schwartz and Tom on the wrong show. It’s not computing. In Denise’s interview, she says her experiences with LVP have been lovely. She wants to be there for her. She doesn’t want to confront LVP, but wants to listen to her.

Teddi asks if LisaR has talked to LVP, and she says they had a little text. She’d tweeted a birthday tweet. We see a picture of her hands showing off cupcakes that have pills for decorations. In her interview, LisaR says it’s become a running joke for her and her family about her bag o’ pills. It started with LVP and Dorit. We flash back to them joking about her pill bag. She says everybody thinks it’s funny because she’s not a pill popper, and if she was, it wouldn’t be funny. People pointed out that it might not be funny because of LVP’s brother dying, and when she thought LVP might take it another way, she sent a text saying it was a joke. LVP texted back that she was glad it wasn’t intended another way because of her brother. LisaR tells Teddi that she didn’t know he died the way he did. Really? Because I did, and I’m not even part of their group. In LisaR’s interview, she says people told her it was in poor taste, and she was like, oh no. Teddi says she’d never think that, and thinks LVP knows that. LisaR says her sister died of an overdose, and she’d never make a joke about it. It’s a very sensitive subject, and understandably so.

LVP asks Ken who he invited, and he says nobody who will upset her birthday. LVP says it’s a sad situation. Kyle should be coming; they’ve celebrated every birthday together. We flash back, and I feel sad all over again. Ken says he’s not letting anything ruin it, so he couldn’t include Kyle and Dorit. LVP says she’s happy without them, but doesn’t look happy.

Kyle arrives at Beauty & Essex, and joins Teddi and LisaR. She complains about the traffic Dorit is next, and IMO, looks absolutely stupid with her boobs practically falling out of her dress, the neckline is so low and wide. It’s like something a Kardashian would wear. In her interview, LisaR says, Dorit looks good, but obviously, that gets a no from me. On the other hand, when Camille arrives, she looks adorable in a romper that’s age appropriate, or at least for the age she looks.

Denise waits at TomTom. In her interview, she says she’s waiting for a drink with LVP before the celebration. Guests are guest arriving, and she feels awkward. Some dude talks to her. She has no idea who he is, but she’ll talk to anyone in a bar. At least he’s being nice to her.

The girls order, and ask Camille about her upcoming wedding. In her interview, LisaR says she didn’t invite anyone to her wedding who made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. We flash back to Camille saying that about Dorit. LisaR wonders, who the eff does that? She asks if Kyle has talked to LVP, but she hasn’t. LisaR says Denise is meeting her for a drink, and Dorit wonders why Denise got invited, and not them. She’s known Denise for ten seconds. Maybe so, but Denise is cooler than all of the rest of them put together.

LVP arrives at TomTom. She greets a few people, including a lady who’s been carrying around a dog that’s really too big to carry around. Giggy! In her interview, Denise says she feels sad for LVP. She’s putting on a happy face, but she knows LVP has to feel sad that the other women aren’t there. Denise gives her a gift bag, and LVP asks if she wants to stay. Denise says she has another dinner; otherwise, she would. Maybe they can have lunch next week. In her interview, Denise guesses LVP forgot, but she knows there’s a lot on her mind. Denise says she knows about the discord, and LVP says it’s devastating to her. She doesn’t want to drag Denise in. Denise knows she feels… LVP says, attacked?There’s a pause, and LVP thanks her for coming.

Denise joins the girls. Kyle asks how married life is. Denise says everything is good, and thanks LisaR for putting the dinner together. She apologizes for being late. Kyle asks how LVP is, and Denise says, happy her friends and family are there. She told LVP that she wanted to get together for lunch. She doesn’t know her that well, and they have no history. She mentioned that she sees there’s discord, so she’ll see if there’s a way to mend it or not. In Kyle’s interview, she says not speaking to LVP, and not spending her birthday with her is weird. They’re always together. Dorit doesn’t understand why LVP is upset with everyone.  LisaR says she has no beef with LVP. Kyle says they were all talking until she went to the house; then everyone got cut off. In her interview, Dorit says when LVP is feeling hurt, she pushes everyone away. She’ll speak to them when she feels they’ve been appropriately punished. Denise thinks she was hesitant to talk because all of her guests were right there, but she seems to be doing okay. *See below for LVP’s explanation.

Giggy! LVP greets Kevin Lee and Mohamed Hadid. I guess she and Mohamed mended fences. Max says he heard she was having trouble with her friends. LVP asks who told him, and he says, Pandy. She doesn’t want to talk about it, and Pandora says she can count on them. LVP asks if Max isn’t working tonight; he must know the owners. JohnS tells her that they have something prepared for her. Maybe involving a stripper. Several servers come out with sparklers, followed with a cake carried by half-naked dudes. She says, thank God they have trousers on.  She thanks everyone for caring. It’s been a tough year this year, and she hopes for a better one. She loves them, and their friendship means everything to her. She thanks them for being there, and says, now, let’s party.

LisaR toasts to Denise and Aaron, and many happy years together. Kyle says, and the next bride. They toast to Camille. She says she doesn’t even remember being in bed with Kelsey. It was never that hot and heavy. She did learn a lot because of him, but the love petered out at the end. We flash back to how he screwed her over, and her saying the other woman doesn’t know she destroyed a family. Denise likes how Camille said, petered out; she’s using that. Kyle loves when Camille gets like that. We flash back to her saying Kelsey was a terrible kisser. In her interview, Kyle says it’s entertaining when Camille gets on a roll. You never know what will come out of her mouth. Denise suggests Camille have another drink. They discuss man-grooming, and Camille says she used to be a dental assistant, so she’s particular. She says before LVP got her teeth redone, she told her that she needed new caps; her gumline was receding.  In her interview, Dorit thinks Camille should zip it. In Teddi’s interview, she says she has issues with LVP, but this kind of talk is next level, and there’s no going back. Camille says she’s going down. Just bring her casket to the wedding.

*On Watch What Happens Live, LVP (a solo guest) explained that the reason she pushed away from all of them was because Kyle told her they all felt that way. While I’m on the subject, Andy is also starting to grow a beard, and no. Just no.

Next time, a surprise shower for Camille, LVP helps demo the kitchen, Lois is in town, and Camille and LisaR tangle about Judge Cavanaugh.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Tanya is freaking out, naked in the street. Lushion tells Natalie to call 911. Randal comes out and says, she’s in psychosis. Tanya says she won’t stop following her. Randal asks, who? but Tanya doesn’t know. He asks if she likes red; it’s a pretty color. She says she does, but then starts making rhymes. She tells him, all God’s children go to heaven. Dogs too. Randal asks if she’s ever had a dog, and she says she has, but the weeping willow tree killed him. He says she must be cold, and she says her skin is fur and warm. He asks if he can put a blanket on her, saying the elk in Yellowstone need covers. He puts the blanket around her shoulders. She accepts it, but then yells, no, no, no! and runs home.

Natalie asks Lushion, what’s going on? He says, it’s some kind of breakdown. He’s going to call the station, and have them do a welfare check. Randal says he’d better hurry, and Natalie says, like he cares. He says he doesn’t. She tells him, show some decency, and he asks, what’s that? He sees Alex is home, and says he’ll come by tomorrow after work to see the baby. She says, okay, and he tells her, wear something sexy. She goes back inside. Lushion starts walking toward Tanya’s house, and Natalie asks where he’s going. He says he’s waiting for the medic, and Natalie asks, what if she has a gun? He tells her, go in the house, but she doesn’t like this. He says, he need to help, but she tells him, let the professionals do it. He says he is one. Natalie thought she was off when they met her. Lushion asks if Natalie knows her name, and Natalie says, Tanya. She lives with her husband; he’s a firefighter. Lushion asks if she’s seen him in uniform, and if he works for Maxine. She asks why he’s interrogating her. She’s not one of his suspects. He tells her, go in the house.

Tanya’s husband pulls up. Lushion tries to get his attention, but he says he has to check on his wife. He runs inside, and Lushion tells Natalie, it looks like they have some new neighbors. Natalie says one is crazier than this a-hole, indicating Randal. Eddie drives up, and she says, even worse. Eddie walks toward Lushion, throwing money in the air, and telling Lushion to buy some rounds. Lushion and Natalie walk back to their house, and Eddie struts over to Alex’s place. She tells him, get away, and he asks, where’s Brad? She says he’s not there, and the kids are sleeping. She tells him to go home to his wife, but he says she hasn’t talked to him for years; he has no home. He sticks his foot in the door, but she says she’s not letting him in. He says she’s his cousin, and she says, go to hell. He tells her that he needs to use the bathroom, and asks where Brad is again. They trade insults until Alex finally tells him to move his foot. He says he needs to take a piss, but she doesn’t care. She pushes him out, and closes door.

Eddie goes over to Randal’s house. He says, this SOB, and pees on Randal’s lawn. I guess he wasn’t kidding. He walks around the yard, peeing, and up onto the porch. That Tyler Perry, always full of surprises. I can’t say I’ve ever seen this before. Randal opens the door, and asks why Eddie is there. Eddie says he’s taking a piss, and Randal says, get off. Eddie says, when he’s done, and moonwalks backward while peeing. I’m dying laughing. Randal throws water at him, and comes down to the lawn. He tells Eddie that he has no idea what’s coming for him. He heard what Eddie did with Larry. Eddie asks if she said how much it turned her on, and Randal says Larry didn’t mention that. Eddie says, she should have. Randal asks how much Eddie knows about Larry, and he says Larry is a punk, like Randal. Randal says he’s going to enjoy this. Eddie has more than met his match. The difference between them is that Larry is smart. He’s looking forward to this. I am too, and it’s probably the first time Randal and I will ever agree. Eddie says he lives for this. Randal tells him, enjoy his last days. Even pussy… cats like Eddie only have nine lives. Eddie says he runs this junk, and Randal wonders how well a lion does in the ocean against a shark. Eddie says any time Randal wants to dance, let him know. Randal can’t say it’s been nice knowing him, but he is saying, clean this up.

Ben tells Tanya to take her pills, but she refuses. He says she told him that she’s been taking them. What is she doing with them? She says she has been, but won’t take the one he’s trying to give her. He tries to force it into her mouth. Outside, Eddie hears them yelling, and runs over. He bangs on the door, says, police, and comes in with his gun drawn. He asks if Tanya is okay. She says she is, and he asks if Ben is hurting her. She says, yes, and Ben says, she’s mentally ill. He just made her take her meds. He tells Tanya to let Eddie know she’s okay. She toddles off to the bedroom, and Eddie says, one more word, and he’s taking Ben’s ass to jail. He closes the door and lowers his gun. He asks what Ben is doing. He heard her screaming. Take a sock, and ram it in her mouth so no one can hear it, or he’ll have all kinds of cops here. He doesn’t want that. Ben asks if he’s serious, and Eddie says, shut a bitch up, or everyone will hear his business. Ben says, it’s not that, and Eddie says he’s been there before. Ben asks again if he’s serious, and Eddie says, dead serious. He shakes Ben’s hand, and says, shut the ho up. Don’t make him come back. He leaves, and I’m guessing Ben is sorry he ever moved there.

Natalie asks if Lushion thinks it’s drugs, but he says, no. It looked like something else. She hopes Tanya isn’t dangerous. Lushion says he’ll keep an eye on her. His phone rings. He wants to ignore it, but Natalie tells him to get it. It’s Ian, who wants to talk when Lushion gets off work. Natalie suggests Lushion invite him for dinner, and Ian in says, okay. Lushion asks Natalie why she wants him to come over, and she says she wants him to help Kelly. Lushion says she’d better convince him. She turns her back to him, but he says she’s not sleeping now, and kisses the back of her neck.

At their apartment, Marcie asks Brad if he’s working today. He says he’s stopping by the house for Alex to sign the divorce papers first. He doesn’t think there will be a problem. She says that’s better than Randal. Brad asks how she got him to sign them, and she says she’s calling Larry, and asking him. As long as she’s free. Hallelujah! He thanks her for last night. Esperanza calls, and Marcie asks how Kelly is. Esperanza thinks she’s better, but she’s going to try and get more details today. She heard Randal signed the divorce papers, and asks how Marcie got him to do that. Marcie says, it wasn’t easy. Esperanza asks who helped her, and Marcie says, a lawyer. Esperanza says, the one who tied Eddie up? He’s so weird. Marcie doesn’t care; she’s free. Esperanza needs help, and Marcie asks, what kind? She needs to find a way to threaten Eddie; get him to leave her alone. She can’t do this anymore. She’s exhausted. Marcie asks if she wants Larry’s number, and she says it wouldn’t hurt.

Marcie calls Larry, and asks what he did. How did he get Randal to sign the papers. Larry says, it’s done. Marcie says, Ian said he filed them, so it’s legal now? She’s divorced? He says she doesn’t have to worry, and she says Randal is mad as hell. Larry says, he’ll calm him down. He thinks knows Randal pretty well. Marcie says she didn’t know Randal was into… Larry says, Randal had quite a past. She says, like what? Like what he did to Eddie? Larry says, something like that. She says, S&M? Larry says, that’s on him, not Randal. She says, not that it matters, but she would have liked to have known. Larry says she can trust him. Her ex was a bit of a swinger. Marcie says, whatever Larry did, she thanks him. He says it was the least he could do. She hopes it doesn’t come back to haunt her, but Larry says, it won’t. She tells him that she has a friend who needs legal advice, and she’s going to give him a call. She thanks him again. She looks at her empty ring finger.

On the phone, Randal asks what do they mean, telling him it’s filed. What if he didn’t know what he was signing? He says, go to the judge. What if his attorney tricked him into signing. It’s his word against the judge’s? Go to hell. He calls Larry’s office, and says, bitch, you know who this is. He calls all the time. Hello? I die laughing for the second time.

Alex and Natalie see the kids off at the bus stop. Natalie asks how Alex is, and Alex says, okay. Alex says, Justice looked okay. She asks if he knows, and Natalie says, no. He keeps asking to talk to her though. They’ll have to tell him something, but they’re waiting to see that Kelly is doing better. She asks if Randal is still bothering Alex, and Alex says she’s going to let him see the baby. Natalie asks if she’s sure, and Alex says, no, but she has to keep the peace somehow. Natalie says they’ve been over this, and Alex says she’s going to do another test. She doesn’t want to talk to him, but it’s her mess. She tells Natalie that Brad is asking for a divorce. She knew that was coming, and she’s not fighting it. She’s so tired of fighting. As long as he takes care of the house, kids, and everything else. Geez. She’s not asking too much. Good luck with that. Natalie is sorry, and Alex says, it’s amazing how one mistake can change your entire life in such an awful way. What can you do? Natalie says, deal with it. Alex says that’s what she’s going to do. Natalie asks if Alex saw Tanya, and Alex asks, what was that? Natalie says, Lushion thinks she’s mentally ill. Speaking of which… Ben runs up to them.

Natalie asks if everything is okay, and Ben says that his fiancé told him that she and the officer had helped. He thanks her, saying it’s better than their last situation. Now they have a police officer and psychologist on the same block. Alex says, Randal? and he says Randal talked to Tanya the other day. Natalie tells him, be careful with him. Everybody’s not what they appear to be. Ben says, okay. Tanya said he came by, so Ben figured he’d introduced himself. Natalie says, it may start that way. Alex asks, what’s going on? and Ben says his fiancé is mentally ill. She has to take lithium. If she doesn’t, she has delusions, and isn’t herself, but he promises they have nothing to worry about. Natalie asks if he’s sure she isn’t dangerous, but he says he tries to stay on her. Alex asks how he can tell when she’s not taking it, and he says she doesn’t know until she has a breakdown. He wants to trust her. Alex says she’s sorry, and Ben asks if she’s doing better today. She says she is, and asks how long they’ve been married. Since he’s been saying, fiancé, apparently she’s not listening. He says they’ve been together since high school. She just got sick a few years ago. Alex asks if it came out of nowhere, and he says, her mother had it, but they figured she wouldn’t. Natalie is sorry, and Ben says, just deal with it. Natalie tells him that they were just saying that. Ben gives them his number in case he’s at work and Tanya needs him. Natalie says he didn’t give it to Randal, did he? He says he was headed there next, and she tells him, hold off on that. Ben asks, why? Isn’t he a good guy? Natalie says, hell no. he’s crazy as hell. She lists all his psychoses, and tells Ben to keep his distance. Ben suggests she tell him how she really feels. He says he’ll stay away, and thanks them. He tells Alex that he’s glad she’s doing better, and he goes back home.

Brad pulls up. Alex asks if he wants to come in, and he says, unless she’s signing in front of the neighborhood. They’ll need a witness, and he asks Natalie. Alex says, it’s okay; she agreed to sign the papers. He’s brought a notary with him. They go inside.

Brad shows her where to sign, and I wonder if she doesn’t want to read it. Alex asks if Brad is sure he wants to do this, and he says he’s never been so sure of anything. Alex says she needs to read it first. Thank you. He says all she needs to know is, he’s divorcing her. She says she needs to read it, and he says he’ll wait. She says she needs a lawyer; someone to look at it. He says he’s not messing around, and she says, wait. Natalie suggests giving it a day. Let someone look at it. Brad says, after what she’s done? After everything she’s done, she doesn’t deserve the courtesy.  Natalie says, Ian could look at it; a day won’t matter. She won’t be a witness if Brad won’t let Alex talk with somebody. He says, it’s ridiculous, and tells Alex, 24 hours. Um… that’s not how any of this works. He leaves, and Alex cries. Natalie is sorry, and Alex says, it is what it is. She thanks Natalie, who says she should let Ian look at it. Alex says, okay, and Natalie tells her that he’s coming over for dinner. She can ask him then. She says, it’s going to be all right, and hugs Alex.

Outside Kelly’s room, Lushion asks if Rick was there all night. Rick says he was, and he’s staying there the rest of the day. He wants to be there when Kelly wakes up. Lushion asks, what’s going on? and Rick says he’s doing his job. Lushion isn’t buying it; there’s something else. Rick says he screwed up. He should have taken her more seriously. Lushion says, like when she told him about Travis? Now he’s feeling guilty? Rick says he went to Travis’s father’s church too, and Lushion wonders if everybody in Maxine goes there. Rick says, he’s a powerful man. Lushion says, his son was sick. Rick says he worked security for the church, and has information. Lushion asks if it’s on Travis, and Rick says he’s trying to get proof. The place is locked down like a cult. They’re coming for her; that he knows. Lushion says he needs everything he can get if. If Rick gets any information, he wants to know.

Lushion goes in to see Kelly. She says she slept so long, and he says she probably needed it. She says she doesn’t need to be chained up. Lushion looks around, and uncuffs her. She cries, and thanks him. He says, don’t tell anybody. She sits up, and he helps her out of bed. He tells her, don’t go too far; get her bearings. She asks how Justice is, and if they told him. Lushion says Natalie is looking after Justice, and they didn’t. She can’t believe she’s going to jail for the rest of her life, but Lushion says they’re not letting that happen. She says she told Rick about the chaplain who showed up. She goes to Travis’s church, and said there were other women. Lushion asks what her name is, and Kelly says, Margaret. He says Rick knows someone there too, and he’s working on getting information. He has more good news. Ian is going to rep her. Kelly claps her hands together, and asks if he’s really good. Lushion says, yes, but his partner reps the church. She asks how they can trust him, and Lushion says they’re having him over for dinner tonight. He’ll keep a close eye on him. She says what she wouldn’t give for a good breakfast. Lushion says it’s not a crime; he’ll get her one. He has to cuff her again, but she says it’s her, and where would she be going? He says if a nurse sees, he’ll get in trouble, but he’ll go to the cafeteria and be right back. He tells her, at least get in bed, and cover up. If anyone comes in, they won’t know she’s not handcuffed. She gets in, and pulls up the covers, and he leaves.

Esperanza calls Larry. She says she needs to speak to a good lawyer, and he says, at her service. She says she has a lot of crazy information about her ex, and wonders if there’s a way to get him to leave her alone. Larry tells her, start with his name, and she says, Edward Willis. He says, the officer? The one he tied up? It was of Eddie’s own accord. She knows he’s not into Eddie, but she needs to find a way to threaten him, so she can live her life. She can’t live like this. He tells her, come by the office.

Randal comes out of nowhere, and starts punching Larry. Where is the bitch secretary Randal is always complaining about? Randal is going to ask him one time only. Did he trick him into signing the divorce papers? Larry says he didn’t trick Randal, and Randal asks how he got them signed. Larry says, the situation is completely unhealthy, and Randal says he’s getting Larry’s ass disbarred. Larry tells him, calm down. Randal will thank him one day. Randal asks, why? and Larry says he’s locked in the past. They’ve always looked out for each other. Someone looks in, and Larry says he’s good. Larry say he knows what Marcie had on Randal.  With the emotional distress alone, she could take all that he has. She lost the baby, and was going to come at him for murder. All the pain and suffering he caused her; he’s seen stranger things happen. Randal says, don’t speak to him again. Larry says, don’t do this, but Randal says, never. Larry tells him, he has to let it go; it’s no good. Randal walks out.

Lushion returns to Kelly’s room, saying he’s brought the breakfast of champions, but Kelly is gone. Lushion says, damn it, Kelly.

Next time, Esperanza meets with Eddie; Eddie tells Esperanza if he can’t have her, no one can; Marcie is past done dealing with Randal; Randal spies on Tanya; Tanya doesn’t want to talk to Randal again; and Esperanza asks Larry if he can hire someone to kill him. I assume she means Eddie.

🌅 Get Me Some Glue…

It’s come to this. Up all night and bad jokes.