Tag Archives: Jane Elliot

November 21, 2019 – Yesterday’s Today, GH News, Wives Gossip, Vanderpump Still Rules, Gone To a Better Stage & Next Week’s Friday

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Yesterday, I went into the future and recapped the episode that was aired in most places today. Magic! However, it’s my understanding that it was again preempted in some areas today. There are no words, except to say, if you missed it altogether, you can catch up here:

https://tvwiththeresa.wordpress.com/2019/11/21/november-20-2019-not-preempted-for-me-or-you-everyone-gets-a-baby-elephant-quick-take-on-jersey-jax-dream-the-white-christmas-of-thanksgiving/

Hopefully, Friday’s episode will be on Friday, but who knows what’s going to happen in this topsy-turvy world we now live in, where low-rated hearings are forced on us and Franco is a nobody. Or is it Drew?

🍵 Tea For You…

Since there were no new evening episodes for the usual programs, enjoy some trash talk. I mean, articles on the world of entertainment.

👠 New Old Girl In Town…

A refresher course on Brook Lynn.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-brook-lynn-ashton-173590

🎁 Home For the Holidays…

Hard to believe it’s been two years.

https://ew.com/tv/2019/11/21/general-hospital-jane-elliot-returns-port-charles/

🏆 General Honor…

So glad props were given to Maurice Benard.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-honored-ruderman-family-foundation-173588

🔄 The Divorce Is Back On…

I think.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/11/meghan-edmonds-divorce-jim-im-sick-abuse-split-rhoc/

🚫 Apparently, She Does Say No To Some Jobs…

But someone tried to make it a yes.

https://pagesix.com/2019/11/15/phony-publicist-falsely-uses-paris-hilton-lisa-rinna-amazon-to-promote-book-party/

💰 You Can’t Keep a Rich Bitch Down…

She’s ba-a-ack.

https://extratv.com/2019/11/18/nene-leakes-sets-the-record-straight-on-her-rhoa-return/

💍 Watch All About It…

More on Kelly’s rebound engagement.

https://extratv.com/videos/bdhuftreoeq/

🌴 Desperation…

Some people will do anything to reunite with those who hate them.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/11/vicki-gunvalson-drops-lawsuit-kelly-dodd-defamation-allowed-film-rhoc-reunion/

🍸 Vanderpump Returns…

In case you missed it. Although it’s hard to take someone’s argument seriously when they’re in costume.

https://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules/season-8/videos/the-official-vanderpump-rules-season-8-trailer-is-here

📣 The First Roll Call Of the Dead…

Those entertainers we loved and lost in 2019.

https://www.usatoday.com/picture-gallery/life/people/2019/01/03/2019-stars-celebrities-weve-lost-entertainment-industry/2467952002/

😱 It’s Coming…

I shopped on Black Friday once. It wasn’t worth it.

May 4, 2017 – Best Good-By Ever & Six Small Chefs

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 General Hospital

The time has come for Tracy to step out of her father’s shadow and make a life of her own. She can’t do it in Port Charles, so she’s leaving. Ned asks what that means (someone, get that man a dictionary), and she says she’s called them there to say good-by.

Nathan comes home to an empty place. He picks up the welcome home card he’s made for Maxie, and tears it in half.

Carly takes her ring off, and says let’s get started. When her lawyer shows up, Sonny is surprised to see it’s Martina. He flashes back to five minutes ago. She and Sonny act like they’ve never met. Diane suggests getting down to business. She thinks it’s possible to avoid a lengthy arbitration.

Monica tells Tracy that if she wants dramatic effect, it’s not working. Tracy says she wants to make a worthwhile life for herself. Her father is going to bankroll her, since the proceeds of the sale of the painting will be more than enough. $20 million? Yeah, I’d say so. The doorbell rings. The food has arrived. It’s pizza.

Ned explains the Thanksgiving pizza tradition, and says it sounds like it’s the last time they’ll be a family for a while. He tells Tracy she doesn’t need to travel the world to find meaning. Hayden asks what she’s going to do, and she says she has no definite plans. Ned asks if they can talk her out of it, but she says no. She’s not happy about leaving him and Dillon, but they’ve been living their own lives for years, and it’s time for her to do the same. Dillon says they’ll come to visit her wherever she is. They all say they’ll miss each other, and I’m trying to rise above crying over this.

Amy 2.0 knocks on Nathan’s door. She wonders why Maxie has flaked about the Nurses Ball. Lucy wants her to handle it, but she’s a talent; she doesn’t work behind the scenes. Nathan explains that Maxie is in Portland. Amy says she’s still the same self-centered witch she always was. Nathan is like, excuse me?

Diane talks about Sonny’s various assets that have been transferred to Carly. Martina says they were signed over months ago, and Sonny has no claims on them. Diane says they’re still married, so technically, Sonny has equal rights. Martina says the assets were put into Carly’s name to keep the government from seizing them. She says if he fights it, she’ll have to bring up his overseas businesses. Sonny claims they’re legit, but Martina tells him that she’s surprised at how low the casino proceeds are. She says it’s as if he has secret offshore accounts, and reminds him that would be a felony.

Dillon says he’s used to him being the one leaving for parts unknown. Tracy says he has a big heart, and is more than capable of dealing with life. She tells him that his heart makes him the strongest Quartermaine.

I hate you, George Stephanopoulos. We’ve been interrupted. On Tracy’s last day. Fie on you, Washington DC! Although I have to admit to being interested in the insurance topic, since I got totally screwed over with Obamacare. Looks promising, but we’ll see.

And we’re back. Tracy tells Michael that if the company tanks, they’ll be hell to pay.

Carly doesn’t want to bring the legality of Sonny’s offshore holdings into question. Martina says Sonny should thank her, and to quit fighting about the rest. Carly says he lost his temper and made bad decisions. Now he has to pay the consequences.

Tracy tells Ned sorry to steal his thunder, but he’s always been a Quartermaine whether in name or not. Ned says that the house needs an Edward Quartermaine under its roof. She tells him that he’s her rock, always has been, and always will be. Crap. Ned is starting to cry. I’m sure this was an emotional day for everyone involved.

Monica tells Tracy that the jet is fueled and ready to take off, and her car will be there shortly. Tracy says it’s real now. Monica says she doesn’t know what she’ll do without Tracy. Tracy suggests celebrating, but Monica says somewhere along the line, Tracy she went from being her sister-in-law to her sister. She never hated her. She loves her. Here come the waterworks.

Nathan tells Amy II about being caught off guard with Maxie staying in Portland. The only thing not there for her is him, and he wonders if he still fits in her life.

Diane thinks they’ve painted themselves in a corner. Martina says they need to compromise, and Sonny makes noises about them keeping what they came with, and throwing Carly a few bones. Carly says see you in court; they’re done here. She walks out, and Diane follows, leaving Sonny and Martina alone. Martina says it was unexpected, and Sonny asks what kind of game she’s playing. Actually, if he was up for it, Sonny could make a stink about this being a conflict of interest. If nothing else, Carly would have to get a new lawyer.

Amy2 says Nathan is coming up with reasons why his marriage won’t survive, but a case could be made for the opposite. If he really loves Maxie, he’ll find a way to make it work. He tells her she’s good at the advice thing. She says to think of her as his bartender, and that she gave her four brothers advice when they were growing up. Nathan goes to change, and Amy looks at a picture of Nathan and Maxie on the sign he ripped.

Carly tells Diane that until the divorce is final, she should talk to her attorney. Diane says she’s approaching her as a friend. She says they’re not the first to divorce after a child’s death, and she understands that Sonny has provoked her, but what part of any of it surprises her?

Sonny asks if Carly put Martina up to this. Martina says that Carly has no idea. He was just a stranger she met in a bar, and she was as shocked as he was. He says there has to be a violation here somewhere, and she stops him from continuing.

The car has arrived. Tracy tells Lulu and Laura to take care of each other. She tells Hayden and Finn that they taught her something important – we don’t have unlimited time. She says to stop wasting it. She warns Michael to remember that she expects ELQ to keep turning a profit. From Dillon, she expects to be invited to a premiere sooner than later. She says that if he needs a patron, to go to Michael. It’s time for ELQ to branch out. She tells Olivia-F that Ned has a bad habit of trying to take care of everyone, and she’s grateful that Olivia is the one who’s going to take care of him.

And Monica. Tracy is worried about her decorating ideas. Monica says she’ll leave their house the way Tracy wants it. Tracy points out that she said our house instead of my house, and Monica says that she knows what she said. Tracy takes Monica and Ned’s hands, and says she cherishes them all. She turns and flies out the door, and we’re all left with tears in our eyes. She runs back in for a four-way hug, with Ned, Dillon, and Monica.

Nathan tells Amy2 that he’s sorry Maxie flaked. Amy says the show must go on, and they’ll make it bigger and better than last year. Nathan offers to help. Amy thanks him and leaves. In the hallway, she takes the picture that she was looking at out of her purse. She tears it, detaching Maxie. I’m guessing that Amy is interested in Nathan now, but wasn’t she interested in Dillon literally a few weeks ago? What happened with that? She doesn’t strike me as the type who would give up easily.

Diane tells Carly that she understands Sonny better than anybody. His first reaction to being hurt is to lash out, and she can choose to compromise. If not for him, for everybody else, including herself, who doesn’t want to watch them tear each other apart. Carly asks if Diane has said this to Sonny, and Diane says that he’s less than reasonable on the best of days. Carly has to be the bigger person here. Carly says that’s not going to happen; she can’t do that. Diane says she’s legally obligated to carry out her client’s wishes, and regrets what’s about to happen. She thinks Carly and Sonny will regret it too.

Martina tells Sonny that she could be disbarred. Sonny says she just got done telling him he was a stranger, so what’s the big deal? He says she’ll just get a warning from the bar. She wants him to do nothing; anything before today was a chance encounter between strangers that he’ll never speak of again. Carly comes in, and asks what’s going on. Martina makes something up. I just thought of something. Why is it that Sonny keeps getting new babes, but Carly just gets recycled Jax?

Monica says the house won’t be the same. Dillon offers to insult her every morning at breakfast. Olivia asks Ned how he’s doing. He says better than expected, even though it seems like his family is getting smaller by the day. Olivia says she was going to keep her last name, but Olivia Quartermaine has a nice ring to it. The Quartermaine family is the heart of Port Charles, and Port Charles is her home. Someone has to look after it, so why not them?

They look at the family photograph.

Tracy arranges a sale for the painting. The dealer tells her that there’s been an offer of $60 million from a private collector. Tracy wants to close asap. He says they can close as soon as she fills out the paperwork. She signs the contract, and the dealer says he thought she’d be reluctant to sell it. Tracy tells him that she gained more parting with it than keeping it. He gives her a moment alone with the painting, which is kind of funny. Tracy tells the painting that she doesn’t know who she is or what kind of life she lived, but she knows she’s going to live her life on her terms. The dealer comes back, saying the money has been wired to her account. She says she could use a good cup of coffee, and he says he’ll show her a place across the street.

We see clips of Tracy and how she’s grown. Excuse me while I bawl.

Good-by, Tracy. Hopefully, you’ll stop by now and then.

The dealer takes Tracy to the coffee shop. Where Luke is waiting.

I don’t even know what’s happening tomorrow – I was too busy crying. Kudos to GH for giving Jane Elliot a beautiful send-off. It was also everything a fan could have wanted. And thank you, God, for not making the news break too long. It had to be God. It certainly wasn’t out of the goodness of any politician or newscaster’s heart.

🍟 There are six chefs still cooking on MasterChef Junior. Tonight, they made a lamb dish for first responders and construction workers. I don’t even like lamb, and I would have eaten this, it looked so heavenly. A female police officer said if she wasn’t in uniform, she would be chowing down on the chops. I hear you, sister! This evening’s mystery box contained a couple of Muppets. Miss Piggy and the Swedish Chef paid a visit, causing the kids to go out of their collective minds, especially when Miss Piggy called Gordon every name except Gordon, and he kept correcting her. Kids love an ongoing joke. She also took up the challenge of preparing steak frites along with the young chefs, and was voted out, so really, no one went home. Next week, the kids cook for critics, chefs and journalists in pop-up restaurant on the beach.

An Applicable Quote

🍨 A person holding a grapefruit in one hand and a blowtorch in the other has let the world know they won’t be putting up with any of their malarkey today.Allison Robicelli, Why You Should Set Your Breakfast on Fire

GHTracy

 

 

April 28, 2017 – Life Vs Tracy & a Quad of Quotes

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 What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Tracy packs, putting photos into a case and talking to them, tossing AJ’s picture aside. She’s hitting the road, and taking the painting with her.

We revisit yesterday’s ending. Ned points out Samira to Officer Stick-in-the-Mud. The officer says she’s in the country illegally, but Ned produces a six-month extension on her visa. He tells the officer that his services are no longer required. Glad I didn’t bother learning his actual name.

Tracy brings roses to the crypt for Lila. She says she’s off to the land of sun and fun, and Samira isn’t even a blip on her radar. She tells Edward that for all his criticism, she’s the last one standing. They should have appreciated her. Who cares if she doesn’t meet arbitrary criteria for being a good person? AJ’s plaque falls off the crypt wall and whacks her in the head. She’s down for the count.

Officer Stick-in-the-Mud checks on the visa extension, and says it came from the highest level of government. Ned says he went to boarding school with someone that’s a high official now. Monica tells the officer that if he bothers them again, she’ll have him checking baggage for the TSA. No doubt a more thankless job than the one he has already.

Ned says that the Quartermaine cutthroat instincts are genetic. Samira asks what’s going on. Ned thinks they should finish the discussion at home. It’s time the situation is resolved, but they can’t do that without his mother.

Scotty tells Tracy it’s show time. There’s no putting it off, and she has to wake up. Suddenly, she’s with him, sitting outside a courtroom. She asks why she’s there. Nathan comes out and says she’s next.  Life vs Tracy Angelica Quartermaine is on the case roster next to the door. She walks in, asking what she’s done, and Diane asks what hasn’t she done? She asks if Tracy’s strategy is bewilderment. Scotty tells her it’s ADD and I laugh. Using a TV screen, Diane shows Tracy how she got hit in the head, and says maybe it will jog her memory. Tracy says that explains it; she’s unconscious, and Diane tells her that she’s dead. She asks what Scotty is doing there, and he tells her not to overthink it. Diane says this is where the newly departed are reviewed, and welcome to her judgement day.

Thus begins Tracy’s this-is-your-life retrospective, done through TV, laptop, tablet and phone screens.

Scotty is to present her good deeds, and Diane, her bad ones. If the good outweighs the bad, she ascends; if not, she’s reincarnated. Diane mentions that Skye Chandler is going to be pregnant soon. <snort> Tracy is concerned about Scotty being her counsel, but he tells her Lorenzo Alcazar was supposed to be poodle, and he got him out of it.

The judge enters. It’s Sonny. He gives a dimply smile from the bench.

Sonny calls the court to order. Tracy demands a mistrial. She says she wasn’t ready to die, and they all laugh. She says the judge is biased. We flash back to when she, Sonny, and I were babies, and she’s trying to get money from him. He talks about what she did to Lois, and how Lois didn’t deserve the shaft. On the bench, Sonny says he forgot about that. We all did. It was like, 30 years ago. Diane tells Tracy that the entirety of her life is going to be evidence. Scotty says Sonny is biased, but Sonny tells him the only other judge available is Anthony Zacchara, and Tracy is suddenly okay with Sonny.

Back in the real world, Kiki tells Dillon she had no idea Ned was a shark. Dillon says he’s a great white, and like a gunslinger who gave it up to be a farmer. Samira sees that the painting is gone. Monica says three guesses who took it.

Diane tells Tracy that she squandered her latest life. She’s incapable of goodness, and must be sent back. Scotty says good is relative. She’s not Heather Webber bad, but compared to her father, she seems fine. Diane says even Edward wasn’t as cruel with his words as Tracy has been. She takes us back to Alan telling Tracy that Monica is fooling around with Ned. Tracy says Alan blames others for not being able to hang on to his wife, when she’s not worth hanging on to. We move on to an argument between Monica and Tracy, see Tracy talking about Jenny to Lila, and insulting various other people. She says, for this she’s risking being Skye Chandler’s baby? Diane says let’s move on to deeds.

Tracy tells Scotty to object, but he says there’s nothing to object to. Tracy says she’s afraid of coming back as a flatworm. Scotty says the prosecution has painted his client as a heartless shrew, and thinks they should move on to her conquests. Tracy says they weren’t all bad, but Diane says her relationships haven’t furthered her personal growth. Scotty says there is a man who has inspired fulfillment and growth in her life, but it sickens him to say the name – Luke Spencer. Diane says he tricked Tracy into a fraudulent marriage, but Tracy says it turned into something else. We see a sweet scene between them, where he tells her that he loves her. Scotty says she had a real, honest love with Luke. Diane says until she couldn’t trust him, and we see Tracy telling Luke to take a hike, calling him a fractured, pathetic loser, who she’ll enjoy seeing beg to get her back. Diane says that was the end of that. Tracy tells Scotty that he’s fired.

Kiki says maybe there’s another explanation for the missing painting. Ned joins them, and asks what Tracy has done now. Dillon says she’s disappeared and taken the painting.

Tracy says that Scotty hung her immortal soul on her romantic interests. She wants Sonny to consider one of the good things she’s done. Saving Luke’s life counts, but she also gave birth to two children. We look back to when Tracy was pregnant. She says Dillon and Ned are proof she did something right. She learned to use her strength to give comfort and guidance to the Quartermaines. Diane says, until she didn’t. We see Tracy and Alan having an altercation. He tells her she’d better not ruin Monica’s party or embarrass them. Tracy asks Diane if she’s kidding. Dinner party shenanigans? Diane says that’s just a warm up. We see Tracy with Jenny in the hospital, and Edward telling her to pack her bags. The original Edward, David Lewis. Next, baby Ned tells her she has a pathetic record as a mother. She’s able to erase the rotten things she’s done to him, and she cares about only one thing in this life – herself. Omg, everyone is so young in these clips.

We see Tracy apologizing for being a disappointment to Lila, who says she never wants Tracy to go through this kind of pain again. Diane says that’s not the worst of it.

Tracy suggests they wrap it up, but Sonny says all the relevant facts have to be presented. Tracy says she runs from this memory every day and doesn’t need to see it. I’ve already guessed what it is. Edward is about to sign his changed will. (I’m right.) He says she’d do anything to get her hands on the trust fund, including go against his direct orders. He tells her that it proves she no longer loves him; if she did to begin with. He says he’s no longer her father. She says that he’s the only one who ever mattered, and he tells her to prove it, but starts to choke. He asks her to get his medication, and she just looks at him. She says then he can live long enough to sign the will; she’ll have to think about it. She tells him that all Quartermaines love each other, but there’s one thing they love more – money. She learned it at his knee – never count on people, only on money. She asks him to tear up the will as he struggles. If he tears it up, she’ll give him the medication. He keels over. Back in the courtroom, Tracy says, enough.

Tracy is alone with a spotlight on her. She says she was selfish and greedy, but then why did her family take her back? She knows she’s done good, and can do more; she can prove it. Don’t send her back as Skye’s baby or a flatworm. Send her back as her.

Ned says Tracy ordered the jet fueled and a flight plan mapped, but he’s canceled the flight. He tells them not to write Tracy off just yet. She could surprise them.

Tracy tells her father that he wins; she gives up. She knows he’s there pulling the strings and having the last word. Judge Sonny was a nice touch. She says he never forgave her, but she never forgave herself either. All she wanted was to please him and make him proud of her. She wonders what her life would have been like if she’d just been herself. Would she have made herself proud? If she only had one last chance…

Tracy opens her eyes in the crypt. She hears something moving in Edwards crypt.

Kiki asks if Tracy has a “find my family” app, and Monica says Tracy doesn’t want her family to find her. Dillon tells them that they don’t need the painting to help Samira; maybe it’s time they spent their money on something worthwhile. Samira says the monks already have buyer for painting. Dillon can’t imagine Tracy coming back with it. Tracy walks in, saying his imagination is in for a surprise. She knows what they’re thinking, and they’re not wrong. She was taking off with the painting, but recent events caused her to reevaluate things. She’s been extraordinarily blessed, and it’s time to use her gifts to help others. She values the painting, but Samira needs it more. Ned asks if she’s sure, and Dillon tells him to shut up; Tracy is having a generous impulse. Tracy says she has to start somewhere, and she’s giving up the painting. Everyone smiles, and hearts are warmed all over Soapland.

This was a wonderful retrospective, and a beautiful (early) send-off for Jane Elliot. I couldn’t help wishing they’d done the same for Anthony Geary when he left so uneventfully. Jane says she’s retiring from acting, and wants to put her energy into some other things, but I’m glad they left the door open. At least I think they did. We still have a few days to go. Her last air date is May 4th.

On Monday, the DNA test results are in, Nelle thinks Nina should be honest and talk to Valentin, and Valentin asks if Anna is all right.

Quotes of the Week

Don’t try so hard to fit in, and certainly don’t try so hard to be different… just try hard to be you. Zendaya Coleman

She’s transitioning. So are we. – a guest on Dr. Phil who is related to a trans woman and has a very valid point.

Being a New Yorker is always knowing where the nearest weapon is. – Me, while watching a woman in jep Lifetime movie

Stay evil, dollface. Spread the word. — Deadshot (Will Smith), Suicide Squad

General-Hospital-spoilers-1

 

 

April 24, 2017 – Tracy has an Idea, Shep has a Birthday & Patricia has a Pet Caftan Line

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis asks Julian to wait. Like he has a choice, since he’s being moved out in shackles.

Ned doesn’t want Olivia to go it alone, but she says he’ll be there in spirit.

Samira stares at the painting. Ned tells her they can only cover for her for so long. She wants to leave immediately, with the painting, but Ned thinks Tracy might object to that. No offense to this girl, but unless she’s leaving something out of her story (which no doubt she is), why on earth would she think Tracy owes her a $20 million painting?

On the phone at the hospital, Tracy says she needs the result of the DNA test now. Laura pops out of nowhere, and asks what DNA test?

Jason asks if Jake recognizes a picture in the photo album. Jake looks disturbed, and Jason says that it’s a picture of him before his accident. He asks if Jake remembers what he looked like then, and Jake says he does.

Jax wants Carly and Josslyn to move to Australia where they can be a family.

Jordan tells them to take Julian back to his cell. She asks Alexis what’s going on, and Alexis says they were just surprised to see each other. Diane arrives, and Jordan says she just missed Julian. She asks if Alexis is ready to make her statement. Diane wants to confer with Alexis in private first, but Alexis just wants to get it over with. Jordan wonders why Diane is there, since it’s just a statement. She wants to know what happened while the details are fresh. Diane’s suit is to die for. Black and white with zipper detailing. All suits should look like this.

In the interrogation room, Jordan starts the recording. Jordan asks Alexis if she recognizes her own scarf, and if it was found at the location where Julian kidnapped her. Alexis says she wasn’t kidnapped, giving Diane apoplexy.

Samira wonders where Tracy is, and asks Ned if he thinks Tracy is avoiding her.

Laura tells Tracy that she was there for a board meeting that Tracy missed, and Tracy says she can’t be everywhere at once. Laura asks if the test has something to do with Samira. Tracy drags her by her elbow into a more private area, and makes her swear she won’t say anything. She explains about Samira giving her the journal and signet ring, and how Samira said that Edward had given them to her mother. She says that along with Samira’s blue eyes, and Laura finishes that she thinks Edward might be Samira’s father. Laura asks what Samira thinks, and Tracy tells Laura how she got the DNA and gave it to Finn. Laura says she shouldn’t be going behind Samira’s back. Tracy says she doesn’t want to get Samira’s hopes up, since it’s a remote idea. She says Finn will confirm it, and she can put her ridiculous speculations behind her. Laura says she seems nervous.

Elizabeth tells Jason that it never bothered Jake before. Jason asks why it bothers him now. Jake says it doesn’t, and they both say that he can tell him anything. He says it bothers him because of the witch.

Carly tells Jax that she can’t go. Jax asks why not. He tells her to pack for a few days, and they’ll send for the rest later. She says it’s sudden. Jax says Sonny pushing the issue has done them a favor. Maybe it’s fate’s way of saying it’s their time to be together for keeps. He still loves her. She says she loves him too. He asks if it’s like she used to, and maybe it’s closer to the surface than she thinks. She says it’s complicated. She knows who’s to blame for all this mess. Jax says they’ve been through a lot of messes, and they still end up in each other’s orbit. They’re connected, and bring out the best in each other. They make more sense when they’re together. He thinks their lives can be greater together than being apart.

Jax thinks that after everything that happened with Morgan, the best thing is for Carly to leave Port Charles. She says It’s tempting, but Josslyn isn’t her only family. He says Michael can visit, but she says she feels close to Morgan in Port Charles. His grave marker helps her talk to him. Jax says she’ll take his memories wherever she goes; she can never break their connection. She says it’s not the same.

Laura says that Tracy just found out her father loves her, and then Samira shows up wanting the painting. Tracy tells Laura that just because she’s dating a psychiatrist, doesn’t mean she can shrink Tracy’s head. They decide to go back to the estate. Laura says until Tracy finds out if it’s positive, she can make peace with the fact that she might have a sister. Tracy corrects that to half-sister.

Samira asks Ned if Tracy will still refuse her. Ned thinks she’s made up her mind. Samira asks how she can convince her, and shows Ned a picture of her daughter, Sadika. She says her daughter needs her.

Olivia-F visits Julian. He asks if she’s there to gloat. She tells him about the engagement, and he says he’s happy for them, but wonders what else she has to say. She says what they’ve decided affects him as well.

Diane says Julian admitted it, but Jordan says they’re getting the victim’s point-of-view. Diane wants a moment alone with her client, but Jordan says she hasn’t not committed a crime. She asks if Alexis made an arrangement to meet Julian, and when Alexis says no, Diane thanks God for small favors. Alexis says Julian surprised her, but she went with him of her own free will. Jordan asks if Julian didn’t try to kill her at the docks, and why would she go voluntarily? Alexis says she was trying to convince him to turn himself in, but hadn’t made much headway before the police arrived. Jordan figures they were there an hour, and I’ll refrain from any jokes. Jordan thinks there’s something Alexis isn’t telling her. Alexis thinks about getting busy with Julian, and says there is.

Alexis tells Jordan that there was some confusion as to why she was there, and one officer thought she was an accomplice. Julian was worried, so he said he’d taken her hostage. She says it was his idea at the spur of the moment. Jordan asks why she waited to say anything, and Alexis says everything happened fast. She repeats that Julian didn’t take her hostage. She asks Jordan since he charges will be dropped, is the case against him still as strong?

Julian asks Olivia how their getting married affects him. She says he’s probably going to prison for a long time, and Leo isn’t going to know him. She’s not bringing him to visit. She says she wants Ned to adopt Leo, and Julian says, absolutely not.

Ned tells Samira that her daughter has the same blue eyes that she does. Samira tells him about a song she used to sing to her daughter in English, and starts to sing We Gather Together, possibly because they want me to cry. Tracy and Laura walk in. Tracy is stunned.

Carly tells Jax that the only reason Nelle is still in Port Charles is to get her claws into Michael. She doesn’t know how he became so trusting, considering how he was raised, and Jax suggests that it’s his form of rebellion. Carly says that if she stays, she can get in his face about it. Jax says that her staying isn’t going to influence him. Michael is either going to forgive Nelle or not, but it’s up to him; she can’t dictate his life. He thinks what’s stopping her is Sonny.

Elizabeth changes the subject, but then asks if Jake wants to talk about the witch. He says he doesn’t. Jason tells him that’s fine, but no witch is going to hurt him; he’s safe with them. He asks to go to his room. When he goes upstairs, Elizabeth asks what made Jason think of the picture? Jason says that’s how he looked when he worked for Helena.

Jordan says she can’t comment on the case. Diane asks if Alexis is done and free to go, and Jordan hopes she’s not obstructing justice. Jordan says Alexis should listen – Diane is trying to save her from herself.

Olivia-F says no one needs to make Leo forget; Julian is doing fine on his own. Why does he want to remind Leo of what he’s done? She tells Julian to do what’s best for Leo, and let him be raised so he’s proud of himself, not ashamed of where he comes from. She says that Julian says he loves Leo, and letting Ned adopt him would be the greatest gift he could give to him.

Ned talks about how his family sings the hymn every year at Thanksgiving. Tracy says it’s a very popular hymn, but Samira says not in Turkey, and I laugh. She tells them that her mother taught it to her. Tracy says they have things to talk about. Samira asks if she reconsidered, and Tracy says she’s keeping the painting. Ned takes her outside the room to talk. Ned tells Tracy that they have another problem, and it has nothing to do with the painting.

Jason tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t remember his years with Helena. He did anything Helena ordered him to do. He thinks he lived on the island too, and Jake saw him with Helena, and that’s why he’s afraid.

Carly tells Jax that Sonny doesn’t control her. She says she just declared war, and she’s not running now. Jax says that will only feed Sonny’s ego, but she can prove he no longer matters, and that’s victory. She says Sonny is not getting away with it. Jax says that instead of giving herself a shot at happiness, she wants to fight Sonny because he’s still in her blood and always will be.

Laura tells Samira they’ll find a way to save her daughter. She gives Samira a dress she bought for her. Samira says she won’t be there along enough to wear it.

Ned tells Tracy that immigration will be back with a warrant. She says she knows how to help Samira.

Diana asks wth is the matter with Alexis? Alexis says she told the truth, and Diane says a selective version. For once she doesn’t want to hear the details, but reminds Alexis of the consequences. She painted Julian as a saint. The bar committee might interpret her actions as harboring a criminal, and she could permanently lose her license. Diane asks if he’s worth it.

Jason says Helena was able to force him to put a bomb on The Haunted Star, and could have ordered him to do anything, and he’d have done it. Elizabeth suggests Jake could have seen something.

Jax tells Carly to prove he’s wrong. She says it’s not the right time, and she’s sorry. He says he loves her, and he knows she loves him in her own way, but it’s not enough. He has to go, and she has to stay and get back together with Sonny. She says that’s not happening. Jax says Sonny is at the epicenter of everything, and he’s going to end up destroying her because he can’t help himself.

Olivia-F says that it’s not her intention to hurt Julian; she just wants what’s best for their son. He says that he does too, and she asks him to think it over. He’s going to prison for a long time, and even if he gets out, who will be waiting?

Alexis says she’ll have to cross those bridges when they come to her, and Diane tells her to just make sure not to burn them as she scampers across. Alexis says the charges won’t stick. She asks if they can’t get him on Olivia-J’s crimes, if the kidnapping charge is on failsafe. Diane asks how it would change anything if he walks away.

Tracy tells Ned that there’s only one thing they can do. Ned asks if it will help get Samira’s daughter back. Tracy says in the long run, but she needs to get Samira out of the country now.

Jason says maybe Jake is afraid because back then, Jason did something terrible to him.

Carly tells Jax that she’ll never let Sonny destroy her, but she needs time to process everything. Jax says they’ll always be friends, and he’ll always help as much as he can. She says she doesn’t think she’s being unreasonable, and he tells her to take her time, but he doesn’t know if he’ll be waiting. He says it’s not an ultimatum, but sometimes if you pass on an offer, it doesn’t come back. She says she’ll take her chances; it wouldn’t be fair with so much unresolved, especially with Josslyn. She thanks him for the needed clarity and something to think about. She tells him to fly safe, and he says he’s an expert pilot. They say good-by, and you know what I’m thinking.

Tomorrow, Nelle thinks Michael is never going to forgive her, Samira collapses, and Griff asks Anna if she knows how dangerous what she’s doing is.

😞 Jane Elliot is going to be leaving the show on May 4th, so there will be a special episode on Friday, highlighting Tracy’s exploits.

Southern Charm

Landon unloads stuff from the trunk of her car – or rather, has someone else do it – for the polo match at Thomas’s plantation. Thomas says she knows how to entertain and is good in the kitchen, unlike some other women who have been in his life. We flash back to Kathryn trying to cook dinner, a totally unfair comparison, since she’s also tending to a child. He wants a woman who will reflect positively on his legacy, and thinks maybe she’s the whole package. Oh, the jokes I could make, both about Thomas’s legacy and Landon being a package.

Everyone is getting ready. The horses are getting hosed down. The bar is set up. Guests start to arrive, and Landon plays Lady of the Manor. Or plantation, as it were.

Austen picks up Chelsea and I love, love, love her dress. The backless sundress style is flattering, and the orange and purple retro colors are fantastic. She says all she knows about polo is from Pretty Woman. I don’t even remember that. She says she made out with Shep once, but thinks he acts like an idiot.

Whitney tries to interact with Thomas’s baby. In her interview, Cameran says Whitney holding a baby is like Whitney holding a mop – he’s never done it before, so it’s awkward.

Landon tells Craig there’s hooch out back, and in his interview, he thinks she fits right in with this life. Chelsea eats like a heathen, and Austen wonders if it’s supposed to gross him out or turn him on. She tells Cameran and Whitney that it’s their first date, and Cameran questions if it’s breaking bro code, since Shep kind of had his eye on her. Well, maybe Shep needs to move faster.

Thomas explains polo rules to Austen. Craig wants to give it a go. Thomas’s kids are wheeled past in a giant stroller by the babysitter. Kelsey cries for daddy, but Thomas doesn’t even go over to them, since he wants to concentrate on the game. When Craig suggests he might want to give the child crying for him a hug, Thomas whines that he can’t please everyone. Craig is bothered, but Landon says Thomas is Thomas. Craig wonders how everyone would feel if Kathryn did the same thing. Good point, Craig. Landon thinks Craig doesn’t understand Southern social protocol. Craig tells Cameran about the kids calling for their dad, and him ignoring it, but she thinks it’s a healthy, stable environment. Craig decides to take a breather. In her interview, Cameran thinks he should re-focus his energy on helping himself.

Austen tells Chelsea that Thomas’s team won the match, and she says it’s rigged. Craig talks to Naomie about Thomas’s kids. In her interview, she says nobody likes a meddler. Yeah, unless that meddler is you. All of these people are meddlers.

Shep visits Whitney at his mommy’s house, while still drunk from the reception. He talks about turning 37 soon, and wonders where the years went. He thinks 40 is a good age to take stock, and says he has three years to go before he needs to panic. They make grilled cheese, and Shep asks what he missed. Whitney tells him about Austen and Chelsea being cozy at the polo match, and that he has competition.

Austen tells his roommate Dan about the possible breaking of bro code, but thinks it’s all good.

Shep asks if Austen and Chelsea were doing more than just talking. He wants to be in the know if someone is sitting in his chair. Whitney thinks he’s jealous because he’s been usurped by his protegee.

Kathryn meets Craig for dinner. He welcomes her back. She says she feels great, and asks about the charity event. She says it’s not that she didn’t want to see Thomas, but it didn’t seem like the right time. In his interview, he says he’s proud of her. He tells her about the polo match and Landon co-hosting. He says he thinks it makes Landon feel like she’s living her old life. In her interview, Kathryn says she’s been saying that Landon was pursuing Thomas, and when she reads people, she’s right. Craig tells her about Thomas ignoring the kids, and how he said he can’t please everyone. Kathryn says she has supervised visitation every other weekend. We see a clip of her picking the kids up. Craig wonders if they’ll get to the point where it’s joint custody. She says it’s complicated with all of the rules, and she’s dealing one day at a time.

Chelsea and Austen meet for drinks. They find out they’re both Geminis. She asks if he wants kids, and he tells her yes, but he’s not in a rush. She asks how many one-night stands he’s had. He tells her two or three, but in his interview, it’s a different story. He invites her over for a nightcap.

Shep calls Chelsea, who says she’s dying. She thought it was a good idea to drink Painkillers, and now she’s paying the price. He suggests that next time she goes out drinking, she let him know. We flash back to when they went out with Cameran, and Shep suggests she give him a haircut the next day and then have some fun. In his interview, he says he hates to lose.

Shep calls Landon. She doesn’t pick up, even though she’s looking at the phone. He invites her to his birthday boat cruise. It’s the next day, and I’m puzzled at how invitations always seem to be last-minute with this group. At most, they’re a week ahead of time. And these aren’t casual gettogethers. Either none of these people have anything to do, or they’re incredibly rude. Or both. We flash back to Shep giving Landon advice, and she says she’s not interested in being around him right now. She calls Craig, and asks if he’s going. He says they’ll just give Shep fuel if they don’t show up. He wonders if Shep is being an a-hole or a friend. Landon wishes it wasn’t on a boat, because it makes her feel trapped. Craig wonders if it’s on purpose, and she says she’s a good swimmer.

Naomie and Cameran go for mani/pedis. They talk about Shep’s birthday. Cameran says as the night gets older, he has the mental equivalent of a nine-year-old. They discuss Craig, and Cameran says he told her that he wants to build a real estate portfolio. She just wants him to find his niche. Cameran suggests that Naomie call him on not really wanting to be a lawyer. Naomie says it’s her fault for giving him a “safe space” at home. Cameran tells her that she can’t avoid discussing things because they’re uncomfortable. In her interview, she thinks Naomie is the best thing that’s happened to him, and if he doesn’t change, she’s going out the door. She tells Naomie not to be afraid to talk to him about it.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon to get a haircut. He’s taking this as a challenge. Not the haircut, getting together with her. She asks if he has a birthday date, and he says no. She asks if he met anyone at the wedding, and he says he’s weird and picky. He asks who she was with when she got drunk, and she says Austen. He asks if they’re romantically involved, and she says they’re hanging out and getting to know one another. She asks if he cares who she’s smooching, and he says he wants to be kept in the know. She asks about the reverse, and he says that he’s not with a different woman every night, but she says that’s the Shep she knows.

Austen picks out a checked shirt and says “righteous!” No. Just no.

Shep tells us that he loves kooky cocktail attire. When he dresses up, he doesn’t want to be conspicuous, but does want to be noticed. Everyone arrives at the boat. Shep tells Cameran about his haircut, and wonders if Chelsea has seen Austen since they went out drinking. Cameran says maybe they’re just friends, and points out that she and Shep go out together. In his interview, Shep says the definition of hanging out is different for everyone. So is hooking up. There’s awkwardness at the bar, with Shep, Austen, and Chelsea all there. In his interview, Whitney says Shep would do the same thing. Shep and Austen greet each other, and Chelsea looks super uncomfortable.

Craig got stuck in traffic, but manages to get there before launch time. The Caroline Girl shoves off, and Shep’s birthday is announced. Cameran tells Chelsea that the first thing Shep talked about was her going out with Austen. Chelsea says she had a blast with Austen, and felt chemistry. Cameran asks who’s the better kisser, and don’t lie. Chelsea thinks Austen has emotion, whereas Shep was like, you’re a girl and you’re here; there was no connection. Cameran says his reputation precedes him, and Chelsea says he’d have to do a lot to get her to stop thinking of him in that way. In her interview, Cameran says this screws up her grand plan, but maybe it’s a good thing, and will make Shep get it together. She hasn’t lost hope.

Cameran tells Shep about Chelsea and Austen making out. She says he needs to grow a pair. He says it’s easier for him to fool around with someone he doesn’t care about. Cameran says it’s not about that, and asks if he wants to be like Thomas – a fifty-year-old man with no shoelaces. We see Thomas, and sure enough, he’s wearing sneakers with no shoelaces. In his interview, Shep thinks Chelsea looks at him as never being serious.

Shep talks to Landon and Thomas. Landon wants to talk to him privately. Yep, she’s such an idiot, that she’s going to bother him with her feelings at his birthday party. He apologizes for being hard on her, but says he’d feel worse if he hadn’t said something. In her interview, Landon says it wasn’t exactly an apology, but if he wants to think they’re cool, fine.

Thomas tells Whitney that he doesn’t like pear-shaped girls, and he likes Landon’s body. He says that he’s never had “sexual relations with that woman,” but she’s the type he’d like. How repulsive is he? Let me count the ways. Landon sits down, and Thomas asks why he turns her off. She says that he doesn’t totally; they like a lot of the same things. She says a part of her wants to like Thomas, but there’s too much drama. She knows his reputation and current situation, and she was already married to that. Whitney suggests they get it over with, and see if they like it or they don’t, subtlety not being his strong suit.

Shep is getting that weird artist girl to do another painting of him. Chelsea and Austen go out on the deck. Shep acts stupid with the girls. In her interview, Cameran says that, instead of going after Chelsea, in typical Shep fashion, Shep is acting like a horny St. Bernard. He tells Cameran that he’s walking away, and she wonders why he’s even talking about it. He says he doesn’t want to ruin friendships.

Chelsea asks Austen how he feels about their relationship; she’s all about seeing where it goes. She says she likes him, and he says that’s great news.

Cameran says that Shep has a hard time showing his feelings, and he’s going to end up alone with a fridge full of beer. Shep says this is him; he isn’t hiding any inner feelings. Cameran thinks he’s lying, and Shep tells her that she’s wrong.

Next time, an altercation between Jennifer and Kathryn, Thomas thinks he’s lost his judgement skills (if he ever had them), Shep talks to Austen about Chelsea, Shep confronts Austen, and Craig tells Naomie that she’s acting dumb. Again I say, unless he’s not paying back borrowed money, or not paying his share of the bills, who cares what career path, or not, he decides to take?

🍹 Andy had promised all hell would break loose on Watch What Happens Live tonight. It wasn’t quite that, but it was a lot of fun. The guests were Patricia Altschul from Southern Charm and Kelly Osbourne. The best part was Patricia wearing a caftan with a sparkly collar and Pug Chauncy’s face all over it. And she has a line of things she can make for you too! She even presented Andy with Wacha PJs. I did want to yell at the TV a couple of times though. One being when Patricia agreed with Thomas ignoring the kids at the polo match, claiming that polo is a dangerous game, and he really needed to concentrate. I would actually buy that, if it weren’t for Thomas whining that he couldn’t please everyone. Andy also let Kelly plead the fifth twice, which just isn’t right. You can check out Patricia’s pet line at: http://patriciascouture.com/?gclid=CI_Y8dvqvtMCFc9MDQodXoYIhg

😯 In what could possibly be a future unfortunate identity crisis, there is a person named Patricia Couture, who made headlines with some scandal, so if you google it, make sure you put in Patricia‘s Couture or add Altschul.

PatriciaAltschulPetCaftans

 

August 25, 2015 — PC, NYC, a Ship at Sea & Some Maids

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Devious Maids

It’s not that I don’t have a DVR, but I prefer to watch shows in real time, so I watched this at midnight last night. My DVR fear is that if I start recording things, it will end up like the black hole that was once my VHS tape collection. I already have General Hospital episodes that are 2 years old on there.

Kind of like Murder She Wrote, but grislier with a more youthful vibe, I really like this show. One of the reasons is the friendship between the women. While they have their ups and downs, they always come together to support one another. Although I liked it at the beginning, I drifted away from Desperate Housewives before the series ended. Maybe that’s why. The women were just too cruel to each other.

I know, I know. Says the one who’s addicted to The Real Housewives.

Not that I thought she would ever have trouble finding work, it’s great to see Susan Lucci back on the small screen. She’s a natural in the role of Genevieve, whose over-the-topness is not too far from Erica Kane, who, if you remember, once shouted down a bear. I loved seeing her paired with John O’Hurley, and was sorry that he only stuck around for a few episodes. Johnny, we hardly knew ye.

Right now, since it’s the finale, all the murders have been confessed to and they’ve blown the place up in cliffhanger fashion. I hope I don’t have to wait too long for the next season. The last time, it was so long, I practically forgot what the show was about. I long for the old days of a September to May season, with summer reruns and the occasional new show in the off-time. Now, it seems like they use a dart board to decide on air dates. Seasons could be at any time of the year, or split in half to get more play, with sometimes an entire year in between. (Thanks, Mad Men!) I am, however, grateful for the repeat episodes. There was a time when they were annoying, but with all the great TV to choose from, it’s made it easier to catch everything.

General Hospital

I managed to tear myself away from BRAVO’s Below Deck marathon. Can’t wait for the new season starting tonight! Since it comes on after The Real Housewives of New Yorkpart 2 of the reunion –my head could very well explode.

Glad to see Tracy today – another one of my favorites! Jane Elliot has it right too, with the way she’s keeping it real as she ages. She looks good and she looks like herself. Now that we all know that Denise is really Ava, I’ll miss Denise. She was a load of fun! I hope Ava keeps Denise’s dark hair – it looks absolutely stunning with her light eyes. You might think me superficial, commenting on a character or actor’s appearance, but these are some of the thoughts that go through my head as I watch. Don’t tell me you don’t have them too. If you’re looking for a real recap, go to the site for the show. Or Vulture. I love their recaps; they often make me literally LOL. That’s right. This Macy’s Santa is sending you to Gimbel’s if they have what you want and I don’t. But, my friends do say they enjoy watching TV with me.

Roger Howarth (now known as Franco) has been my favorite soap actor ever since he came on the One Life to Live scene. Apparently, a lot of fans felt that way, since his character was originally supposed to have a limited run, and Todd ended up running all the way to Port Charles many years later, even though ABC made a mess of the crossover. One of my fondest soap memories was Todd stalking blind Nora. It was Christmastime and I’d just brought a neighbor’s dog back from our daily walk. She had a huge box of chocolate truffles on the coffee table (my neighbor, not the dog), and had told me to help myself. (She was a literal size 0 and only drank half a can of soda at a time, so who was I not to help her here?) I put the TV on, and actually ate some bonbons while I was watching a soap. I thought, it doesn’t get any better than this.

Moving on. For a place that’s rife with criminals, Port Charles certainly has a lax jail system, along with keeping both men and women in the same holding area. Come to think of it, the hospital isn’t exactly on top of security either. Remind me never to get sick there if someone is trying to murder me.

That’s right, Morgan. It doesn’t matter that Denise is really Ava. It doesn’t make you any less of a cheater. So please quit whining.

The Real Housewives of New York

Having lived a good portion of my life in the city, these girls are high on my must watch list.

Oh, Countess, can you take a clue from Princess Elsa and let it go? Why is she still hanging on to being angry about Carole seeing her niece’s ex? The weirdest thing about this is that the Countess seems to be okay with an older woman and a younger man together if they’re just having sex, but she frowns on them having a relationship. Huh? So now that Carole has been seeing 28-year-old Adam for some time, she’s gotten more annoyed. I even doubt the niece is hanging on this hard. Although the LuAnn does get the prize for the classic line of the decade, “Be cool. Don’t be all like, uncool.” That has to be one of the best things I’ve ever heard on any Wives show ever. I want that on a T-shirt.

WHAT ARE YA DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA? Hahahahaha! I just had to say that.

I go back and forth with Sonja. On one hand, I adore her. She lives the way she wants to, and often reminds me of one of the Edies (Beale) in her eccentric way of presenting herself. On the other hand, I can understand the frustration of the other ladies in dealing with her. In some ways, she lives in another time, and she has to get it through her head that it’s a bad idea for a woman alone to get blackout drunk at a bar. Please, stop doing that before something bad happens. I was proud of her for finally getting her clothing collection off the ground though. For getting anything off the ground actually. And the clothes are gorgeous. Brava, Sonja! Now about that toaster oven….

I’ve met Kristen and although underused on the show, she’s a lovely person. She’s one of those people who, when you talk to her, make you feel like you’re the most important person in the room. I don’t think Bethenny has always given her a fair shake, and I also don’t believe that printed quotes are always accurate. (Really, Bethenny? Did you really say they were? SMH) Throughout the season, we saw Kristen struggle with her husband, Josh, over priorities, as his seemed to be more about work than family. I was very sad to hear he was one of those outed in the Ashley Madison data breach. I sincerely hope they’re able to work it out. He’s another husband I’m not crazy about, but I didn’t marry him and I hate to see her hurt.

Now we finally get to the Ramona dirt. Well, really the Mario dirt. As much as I dislike her – another pot stirrer who thinks saying “I’m sorry” makes everything all right – I wouldn’t wish a cheating spouse on anyone. And no woman should have to see the other woman in their kitchen. At first, it seemed like we were seeing a different Ramona this season, but it didn’t take long before her evil twin came back in full force. And hey, if you don’t want that gorgeous guy just because he’s a bartender (news flash: that’s not an awful career), I have plenty of single friends who will take him.

This is hysterical. The saga of the dress Ramona swiped from Bethenny. Apparently, she was given an expensive piece (Halston Heritage) to wear on Bethenny’s show and walked off with it. Despite many attempts to get it back, including giving her another pricey dress in the hopes of a trade, Ramona has managed to dodge the return. Now she claims she shouldn’t have to since Bethenny’s show was canceled. Ramona. It. Does. Not. Belong. To. You.

Why is Ramona drinking rosé instead of pinot? Did I miss something?

Below Deck

I’m so glad to see this show again! I love it so much. Maybe because I’d like to take up residence on that yacht and sail around for the rest of my life. And I adore Captain Lee. I was sad to see that most of the old crew have been replaced, especially Ben the Australian chef, but it’s TBD if I like this group as much. I’m keeping an open mind.

Chief Stew Kate has returned. I have a love/hate relationship with Kate. What she calls “stoic and professional” can often come off as cold and unfeeling, yet she has a great sense of humor at times. Like last season when one of the primary guests was being a real d*ck and she folded the towel on his bed accordingly. When called on it, she claimed it was a “rocketship,” but we all knew better, and the guest actually redeemed himself by finding it funny and tipping big.

Speaking of asshat guests, during the marathon, I caught my least favorite, Timothy Sykes. An entrepreneur who made a fortune in penny stocks, he was one of the rudest guests ever. Apparently his daughter girlfriend is a fan of “simple foods” (in other words, she has an uneducated palate) and wasn’t too appreciative of Chef Ben’s artistry. Timothy also acted like a big baby over the internet connection not being up to par. While the crew is no stranger to complaints, this idiot took it a step further. When it came time to give the tip, he showed Captain Lee a wad of bills and then dramatically took a quarter of the wad out, citing the above offenses and telling Lee that’s why he was reducing the tip.

Since I’d never heard of this guy before, after seeing him again, I googled him. The first link I saw was to a Tweet he’d just made, saying if anyone was watching Below Deck, it was all editing and he really had a great time. And then some buy-my-crap link. Normally, I avoid Twitter for the most part. The last thing I need is more anti-social social media in my life. I just couldn’t resist though. Unless immediately after his arrogant display with the money, he patted Captain Lee on the back and said, “Just kidding,” while handing him the rest of the tip, I fail to see how editing had anything to do with him being a d-bag. So I told him that. Not that I think he gives a flying, but he did bring it up. And Chef Ben did end up making his daughter girlfriend those casadias, so what was the big deal?

You can see my once-a-year tweet here: http://tinyurl.com/o6jp94q

OMG THE FOOD!!! I’ve never even been on a cruise, but I want to go straight to charter.

The first guests of the season want a “foam party.” One of the crews remarked that they hadn’t heard that since the 90s. I’ve never heard that. And I wasn’t even on drugs in the 90s. The primary guest (the guy who’s footing the bill), Steve, is already rip-roaring drunk and in the “I love all you guys” phase. Hope he doesn’t go into weepy before they get to the foam. Won’t they be slipping in foam? Okay, there are glow sticks involved. Those I know about.

OMG THE FOOD!!!

Oh Lord, Steve says this has been his dream. I’m sorry. This is possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. Now he’s hitting on the 2nd Stew. Yep, we should be getting to weepy or sleepy at any moment.

From the previews, it looks like Chef Ben is coming back.

OMG THE FOOD!!!

My Fab 40th

How can celebrating a 40th birthday be a series? I guess I’ll find out.

Well, we’re halfway through, and I’ll probably stick it out, but…rich people’s problems.