Tag Archives: Jax Taylor

June 10, 2019 – Part Two – A Chef Who Can’t Cook, Lotsa Lisa, Lisa’s Spinoffs, Who Antoinette Went Home With & a Winner

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

👈 Please see previous post for June 10th’s General Hospital.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Nice, France. Mila puts steaks in microwave to warm them up. I hear Gordon Ramsay screaming at her in my head. The steaks are served. Hannah gripes to the other stews about the microwave, but the guests like the food. Even the one who’s tough to please with a steak. Hannah is relieved. In her interview, Mila says she feels happy. It’s good that even though she was sick, she still managed. I’m cursing my life, since not only do Aesha and Anastasia have names that start with the same letter, they look similar. This is going to be a tough season.

Captain Sandy scarfs down a taco. She sees the infamous nacho chips, and asks Hannah how the guests are doing. Hannah says, okay. In Hannah’s interview, she says the last few seasons were rough. We flash back to that. She says communication with the captain is her main priority. She doesn’t want Captain Sandy seeing food, and wondering why Hannah didn’t say anything about it. The captain tells Hannah, the nachos look terrible, and Hannah says that’s why she didn’t take them out. The captain thanks her, and they high-five.

Travis says, they’re rolling towels and living the dream. Hannah asks João for a schedule. He says he’ll stay up until the guests go to bed. The nachos are tossed.

In the morning, Captain Sandy says they’re getting ready to leave, and checks on the guests’ dinner. In the captain’s interview, she thinks the guests are being nice, but she’s being cautious. She asks the crew to return radio one, and Jack brings it back. The last thing he wants is for Captain Sandy pulling his ear like a naughty schoolboy, and slapping his ass on the bridge. She tells them to start hauling anchor. The anchor is home, and they go into gear.

The beach picnic is today, and Hannah wants to go over the meal plan with Mila. Sandwiches and salads should be ready to go at 1:30. Mila says she’ll go and get inspiration, which I think means take a nap. Aesha serves breakfast, pointing out that every dot on a strawberry is an ovary. In her interview, she says, because she’s happy, people think she’s an airhead, but she’s smarter than she appears, and has a double science degree. One of the guests looks up the ovary thing online, and says she’s correct. It does sound like something somebody would make up.

João tells Travis about the schedule. Travis can’t believe he’s lead deckhand. He’s driving blind, and doesn’t know where he’s going with the tender. Captain Sandy says there’s only one beach there. In her interview, she explains they have to find private places for beach picnics, but if the guests want something, they get it. Hannah tells João to quit stalking Brooke’s Instagram. In his interview, he says, as much as he tries to hide his feelings about Brooke, they still linger. He says Hannah has brought an energy this season he never thought he’d see. Rut-roh.

Mila says if she was on a boat, she wouldn’t ask for club sandwiches, but you have to give the guests what they want. She’s making salads, and they’re nearly an hour behind schedule. Hannah doesn’t know how you can be late, making sandwiches for five people. Captain Sandy asks the sky not to rain. The food is on it’s way, and Hannah asks Mila if they don’t need a few things like a knife. In her interview, Hannah says things are happening that shouldn’t happen on a superyacht.

Pointe d’ le Something. At the beach, Aesha radios Hannah, asking for a ten minute warning, but Hannah says the guests are coming now. They arrive, and Aesha welcomes them to lunch. She makes drinks. Back at the yacht, everything is cleaned and tidied. Hannah double-checks everything. She thinks it’s a miracle that it’s all done. She’s happy with a strong third stew in Anastasia. It’s been testy for the past few years. We flash back to the duds. In her interview, Anastasia says she likes being the best at what she does, whether it’s cleaning toilets or cooking a five-course meal. Thank you. I’m with her on that.

In the galley, Mila tells João and Jack about pursuing her culinary school dream.

Aesha realizes they forgot the tequila. In her interview, Hannah says she has so many balls in the air, she’s not surprised she dropped one. She needs everyone to do their jobs. João brings two bottles. Colin says he’s like Aquaman. He’s got the goods, and he’s saving the day. Then Colin ruins it. João tosses the bottles to him, and he drops one.

Captain Sandy sees rain coming, and hopes it goes the other way. Jack says he’s going to make her the best tea on board. He doesn’t think she’s seen him at his best yet. Mila says the guests have requested Italian tonight, but she can’t give them prosciutto, since there’s no machine to slice it properly. Hanna says she has Mila’s back, but in her interview, Mila says she hates fake people, and thinks Hannah is fake. Well, she’s just a co-worker. Who cares?

A storm comes up, and the captain hears thunder. She tells João to get the guests back in the boat. Everything on deck is covered. On the beach, Jay says, it comes in fast. Hannah radios João, and tells him to help pack up and get the guests back. Aesha says, they’re coming. The captain greets them, saying she didn’t want them struck by lightning. João goes back again, and helps Colin pack up at super speed.

Jack wants quick cuppa tea, but João suggests he help with the work. Jack says he’s not standing in the rain, but João says he will if they need him too. In João’s interview, he says Jack should think like the engineer he is. If João is going to be a more efficient as a leader. he has to figure out what motivates Jack. This is a good question. Does anything? Hannah asks Captain Sandy how the weather is looking, and the captain thinks it might pass, but they should have dinner inside, since she still hears thunder. Hannah tells Mila that Carol wants a white cake with white frosting for her birthday. In Mila’s interview, she says she’s not a cake person. She didn’t do a patisserie course, and hopes they like it. Come on, man. How hard is it? Even I can bake a decent cake.

The table is set, balloons are blown up, and crepe paper is streamed. Captain Sandy decides she’ll try and slice the prosciutto. Her father was in the meat business. She tells Mila. you don’t give up. If the guests want ham, they get ham. Holy! She is really good at that, slicing it thin with a big knife. She says it’s like being back in the meat shop, which she never liked, but it made her night to contribute. I like Captain Sandy because you know she’d never ask you to do something she wouldn’t do. That’s a good boss.

The guests get ready. The stews try the cake, and at first it’s all yum, but then Anastasia says she bit into some baking powder. They realize it the baking powder taste is too strong. In her interview, Anastasia says, it’s baking soda in cake form; it’s disgusting. Hannah says she can’t serve it to the guests. Mila insists it’s not that strong, and says she’ll serve it. I always forget they don’t wear shoes on the yacht, and get startled when I see their feet. Hannah takes a piece of the cake to Captain Sandy, who says, wow. It’s so bad. She says they’re in trouble. She’ll handle it. In her interview, she says a lot of chefs are good at cooking, but not baking. However, a yacht chef has to do both. She can’t discuss all that now, because there’s no time. She has to get Mila to focus on the food and making a good meal. Anastasia suggests cupcakes. In her interview, she says she was a chef on the last boat she worked on, and thinks there’s no excuse. Baking is in her blood. Her mom was a pastry chef, and she’s got this. She tells everyone what she needs, and Hannah tells the captain that Anastasia is taking over with the cake.

Carol thinks the décor is really pretty. Anastasia rocks cake making. Captain Sandy tests the batter, and loves it. She says, teamwork. Jack hides while the other guys work. Hannah serves a caprese salad.  Anastasia says she was happy to bang out another cake. Jack sits in the galley, eating. In her interview, Anastasia says she has a dirty mind, but she’s not promiscuous. She’d rather watch the Gilmore Girls. Truffle pasta is served. Carol says, it’s beyond good. Mila ices the cake. Hannah calls the crew to sing, and tells Anastasia to carry the cake since she made it. In Mila’s interview, she says she feels bad already, and Hannah had to say Anastasia made the cake in front of everyone. Don’t give her a fake smile next time. Happy Birthday is sung, and Carol blows out the candles. She says she’s going to cry. In the galley, Captain Sandy says, good job, and she and Jack clink teacups. The cake is served, and Jay says it’s the best cake he’s ever had. He asks if Mila does the baking, and Aesha says Anastasia baked the cake. Mila is annoyed with Aesha, and says it was nice of her to let the guests know. Aesha says they asked, and she wasn’t going to lie. Besides, Anastasia deserved it. For whatever reason, Mila refuses to believe the guests asked about the cake. I’m starting to think Mila might not last through the season. She gripes to Anastasia, who doesn’t think Aesha meant anything by it, adding the day has been stressful. Mila says she knows what was being said. Colin and João talk about Hannah and Mila going after each other, and João compares them to cats.

Breakfast served. In Anastasia’s interview, she says, Aesha is crazy and inappropriate, and the guests love her. The guests continue to rave about the cake, saying Anastasia is so talented, which must be killing Mila. Anchor is hauled up. Jack says he’s not experienced in that, and has no clue what’s going on. He’s just out there to get some sun. I don’t know if he’s lasting either. João discusses the lines with the captain. In his interview, he says although he’s worked with her, it’s never been in this position. He needs to prove she can trust him under pressure. If she trusts him now, she’ll trust him all season. He asks Travis to do some nautical things. In Travis’s interview, he says people who work on yachts think they’re all that, even though they’re really an effing janitor on a floating toilet. But if his boss tells him to do something, he’ll do it.

The guests pack. The captain says there’s a bit of current, and docking is a little tricky. João and Travis help guide her in. Jack asks if he could be shown how to do it next time. Captain Sandy says, maybe, and tells João that he did nicely. He says, nailed it, and he and Travis high-five.

Aesha says she got a head start on going out. She’s soaked her tampon in vodka. Hey, I just report what I’m seeing and hearing. In her interview, she says she’d never do that, but it sounds interesting, and she’d like someone else to try it. Maybe she can get Jack to do it. The guests don’t want to leave. The crew is called to the dock. Jay gets weepy, and says they’re amazing. It was the greatest vacation of his life. He wishes them a great season. In her interview, Mila says Russian men don’t cry, even at their mother’s funerals. It makes her feel uncomfortable and weird. Geez, the dude is probably crying because he has to go back to work soon. And didn’t she spend a bunch of time in France? I bet they cry there.

Tip time! The captain says, in spite of Mila being sick, they came together. She thanks the interior for taking charge in the galley. She can trust them. She doesn’t know about Jack though. In Jack’s interview, he says it’s lucky he has his smile. He paid enough for it, so he’s using it to get himself out of trouble. The tip is 13K euros, which I had to look up, and it translates to $14,706.19 – 1175 euros each, or $1329.21. They have some champagne, and laugh a lot. The boat is cleaned up, and the crew cleans themselves up. Sitting outside, Mila asks if Jack prefers boys, and he tells her, piss off.

Captain Sandy calls Mila to the bridge. In her interview, the captain says just because the charter guests liked the food, doesn’t mean it’s up to standard, and she knows what standard is. She needs to see the standards of someone who was trained in Paris. She shows Mila photos of how she should be plating food. Ouch. But yeah, her plating is crummy. Those MasterChef Junior kids are a million times better. She tells Mila that she’s been doing this a long time, and worked with a lot of chefs. She has to know Mila can do this, and right now, she doesn’t know. She had a rough start because she was sick, but she’s not sick now. Captain Sandy says, let’s do this. She has it, right? Mila nods, and in her interview, says she’s grateful for the captain’s opinion. Captain Sandy’s words make her feel like she really wants to perform more. She worded it like that, not me.

Jack can’t believe Mila with her hair all blown out. He says she thought he was gay, and Travis says, it’s a compliment. Jack says he didn’t think he was giving that vibe. Mila comes by with beer, and asks if they’re stepping out tonight. Jack says he’ll step out with her.

Everyone heads out. In Jack’s interview, he explains that he was going out with girl when he left. He was honest, and told her that he wouldn’t be loyal. He’s going out for a few drinks, and a little wiggle. And maybe have a crack on with one of the girls. Who knows what will happen? In the car, Colin asks how dinner was. Mila is in the other car, and Hannah says, the experience or the food? She thinks if you’re working on a yacht this size, and serve that kind of food, you’re not a good chef. She’s not being a bitch. She thinks Mila is a nice person.

In the other car, Travis says, Russians are homophobes, and Mila agrees. She’s also happy to be one. She doesn’t care what people do at home, but she doesn’t want her son growing up seeing two men kissing, and think it’s normal. It’s not.

João says Mila is sweet, and Hanna says, she’s a lovely person. I laugh, thinking, just wait. Mila says she’s proud of Putin, and glad he doesn’t let them have gay parades in their country. Travis tells her, STFU. Get out of the van. Um… he’s not driving, so I don’t think he gets a say in that. Travis says he’s never going to speak with her again. Maybe he’s been with men, or maybe those are his friends. Mila tells him, all she said is that she doesn’t want to see it openly. He says her opinion of gay people is her opinion of humanity. She says, it’s not normal. Is being with an animal normal? There’s a millisecond of silence, where they all can’t believe what they just heard. In Travis’s interview, he says, her mindset is warped. He tells her to sit at the opposite end of the table, calling her an oxygen thief.

Next time, the primary is Captain Sandy’s friend the vibrator queen, Colin gets hurt, Hannah doesn’t want to work with a homophobic pr*ck who can’t cook, the guests don’t like the food, and Anastasia gets put in the galley.

💋 Lots of LVP…

Her evolution.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/07/the-evolution-of-lisa-vanderpump/slide-1/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190608&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-8023016-711673032

Skipping the reunion.

https://www.eonline.com/shows/daily_pop/videos/289720/lisa-vanderpump-skips-rhobh-reunion-andy-cohen-reacts?cmpid=enewsvideo&content=Trending&source=taboola&medium=Below-Article-Thumbnails-Card-1

Why she quit.

http://extratv.com/2019/06/07/lisa-vanderpump-opens-up-about-why-she-quit-rhobh/?adid=extra_eme_27058_2019-06-07_rightnow4

And who might replace her.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/06/kathy-hilton-in-talks-to-replace-lisa-vanderpump-on-rhobh/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🌴 And On Lisa’s Coattails…

Restaurant drama with the Vanderpump Rules cast.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/07/vanderpump-rules-cast-gets-competing-bachelorettes-booted-from-party/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190608&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8023017-711673032

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/08/vanderpump-rules-producers-create-restaurant-drama-in-miami/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190609&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8024469-711673032

To prenup or not to prenup.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/vpr-lala-kent-randall-emmett-prenup-lisa-vanderpump/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

I doff my cap to Stassi.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/vpr-stassi-schroeder-makeup-free-psoriasis-selfie/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

More Jax and Brittany pre-wedding festivities. Stassi’s suit is a no. Just no. As a matter-of-fact, none of the suits are all that attractive. Maybe Lala’s.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/vpr-brittany-cartwright-bachelorette-lala-kent-bikinis/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

Warning: boobies ahead.

https://radaronline.com/photos/vanderpump-rules-star-kristen-doute-poses-topless/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🏆 And You Get a Tony…

Everything about the awards in a nutshell.

https://nypost.com/2019/06/09/tony-awards-2019-best-and-worst-moments-full-winners-list/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190610&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-8025721-711673032

🍱 A Combination…

The Tony Awards, Pride month, and one of my favorite songs from a musical.

 

May 17, 2019 – Red Carpet At the Ball, Chef Lisa, Throne Theory, Jim Has Not, Adios Coltee, OC Alumni, Miami Forgettable, Reality Troubles, a Mix Of Six Quotes, RIP For Three & Goodbye Mr. Tudball

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Five minutes to the Nurses Ball. Maxie tells Nina that she has to be there has to be on the red carpet, not making grand entrance. Sydney Valjean (Chandra Wilson) joins Nina, who thought she’d be late. Sydney says, never, especially when she’s hosting. Nina reminds her that she’s co-hosting, and Sydney says she knows it’s Nina’s night. Maxie is live tweeting, and Nina tells Sydney to go easy on the guests’ outfits, but she says she stands for truth in fashion. She’ll be cordial, but she’s not going to lie. Nina says if someone is wearing something… challenging, she’ll take it. Starting with the first guest. She’s extra.

In Toronto, Curtis and Laura are tied back to back. Curtis comes to, and tells Laura, wake up. They have trouble. She opens her eyes, and says, oh my God.

Carly comes downstairs in a sparkly red gown. Sonny tells her that she looks great, and asks what the verdict is. Are they staying or going?

Nina welcomes the viewers to the 2019 GH Nurses Ball. She’s being joined by Crimson magazine’s New York fashion editor, Sydney Valjean. It’s the first Ball Sydney has been to in person, and she’s ready to get the night started. Nina says for once, they’re on the same page. She usually saves this guest for last, but suggests they get to the good stuff first, and introduces Lucy, who’s wearing a mosaic patterned dress with a fishtail hem. Sydney says she looks stunning. Lucy gushes over Sydney, saying she’s such a fangirl. Nina says she’s right there too. Can Lucy give the audience a taste of what to expect? and Lucy says, no. She doesn’t want to ruin the delicious surprises. She goes over to Maxie, who compliments her dress, which Lucy calls delirious. She says, let the Nurses Ball begin.

Doc and Ava come in, and Sydney says Doc is looking dapper. Ava says, isn’t he though? Ava is wearing a black gown with sleeves of silver fringe dripping down to a cuff at the wrist. Nina tells her, kudos for being bold. She asks what they’re looking forward to, and Doc appreciates the raising of money for a truly worthy cause. Ava says they want to help any way they can. They move on to Maxie. Ava asks if there’s something wrong, and Maxie says she’s just surprised to see them together. Ava says, it will take some getting used to.

Nina introduces Scotty as lawyer extraordinaire. Does he want to say hello to the audience? He says, hello… and goodbye. Maxie asks who he’s wearing, and he says, expensive. She wonders who has his trousers in a twist, and he looks at Doc and Ava, saying, those two are all wrong, Maxie says, agreed, and he says he wants to make it right. He blocks the camera with his hand.

Laura tells Curtis, he’s gone. That poor woman. He killed her after she helped him. Curtis says, he killed her because he knew she was going to help them. He doesn’t think Ryan is coming back any time soon. It’s up to them to get themselves out. She says, please tell her that he has a knife in his pocket. He thinks the corners of the chair is sharp enough. If they work together, they can free themselves. She says, wait a minute. She smells gas.

Carly tells Sonny that Josslyn is definitely not going, but wants them to go. Sonny doesn’t want to, but Carly doesn’t know. She asks what he thinks, and he says it would be good for Carly if she went. She knew he’d say that, and he wonders why she asked. She tells him, next time tell her what she wants to hear, Sonny says he secretly hates this night. It reminds him of Stone, and how he’s gone, and the others who have died; but he hears Stone in his head, telling him, get off your ass, and go, so he goes. He sees people propping each other up, having a good time, and loving each other. He sees what good it does, and he’s glad he put his tux on and went. Carly says they’ll wait for Kristina to get there.

Franco picks up Elizabeth at the hospital. She looks like a princess, in blue sleeveless gown with a train. He says, wow, and she tells him that he looks handsome. He says she’s so beautiful, and kisses her. Epiphany tells them to get a room – or at least a supply closet. Elizabeth and Franco agree Epiphany looks great, and she does in an orange gown with a tie at the waist and a front slit. TJ, Deanna, and Amy join them. TJ says they’re ready to get their Ball on, and Deanna says she’ll call an Uber. They don’t want to miss the red carpet. Franco says he hired an enormous stretch limo. They can’t have the Ball without the nurses, and they’re going to arrive in style. Amy says Franco is ridiculously nice. Franco suggests they get going.

Nina introduces Willow escorted by Chase. She says, rumor has it that he’s performing again, and he says she’ll have to wait and see. She says Willow must know, but she says, he’s like a vault. She tried to get it out of him. Sydney asks, how? and Chase tells Willow, just be patient. Sydney says, they’re adorable. Nina is like, meh, but then says, he’s adorable, and runs to Valentin. They kiss.

Sasha comes in with Michael. Nina is happy to see them there together. Michael is happy to be there. It’s a cause dear to his heart. Nina says, which he showed with his company’s generous donation. She thanks him. Sydney knows it’s Willow’s first Ball, and asks how she feels. Willow says she was nervous at first, but she’s ready to have fun now.

Ava thanks Doc. He says, for what? and she says she was close to ripping Nina’s face off, and he smoothed the waters. He says she has prioritize. They have a bigger mission tonight. Ava thinks Ryan won’t be able to resist, and he agrees. She’s the best way to draw Ryan out, but nothing with Ryan ever goes according to plan.

Curtis says he can smell the gas, and feels it. He coughs, and Laura says she knows what Ryan is doing. Curtis suggests she fill him in. She says Ryan was supposed to die in a funhouse explosion. He wants her to die the same way he was supposed to. Curtis says, a funhouse? He’s not having much fun. There’s no way he’s going to let this freak win.

Lucy asks Scotty what Doc is thinking. Scotty says, Doc thinks he can douse his grief with guilt, and Ava is milking it for all it’s worth. It’s like a like runaway train, and they have to put brakes on.

Michael hears Maxie is on online tweeting duty, and she tells them to smile.

Nina says, here come newlyish weds, Franco and Elizabeth. Sydney admires Elizabeth’s dress, and Nina asks if they’re looking forward to the performances. Franco says he really stays for the nurses. He feels fortified being with them. He tells Nina, a gaggle of rowdy nurses is coming, and the gaggle follows them in. Epiphany asks who’s he calling rowdy? She runs a tight ship. TJ says, a tighter ship has never been run. Nina introduces Epiphany has GH’s head nurse, and Sydney asks if Magic Milo will be joining them. Epiphany says he had a work conflict, so Milo is keeping the magic in his pants this year.

Sydney introduces renowned coffee importer, Sonny Corinthos, and his lovely wife. Sydney says the cause has a special significance to Sonny’s family. Sonny says, it’s always a good time. It’s a blessing be there, and realize how precious life is. He and Carly kiss.

Michael tells Sasha that he’s sorry if Nina gushing over him made her feel uncomfortable. She says, it didn’t. She thought it was sweet.

Chase tells Willow that he has a great idea. The next time he visits her class, he’ll bring Thor, but also deputize the kids. She thinks it is a great idea, but he’ll have to do it in someone else’s class. She was fired. She’s finishing the yea, and then she’s done. He asks when it happened, and she says, yesterday. He’s so sorry, and asks if it’s because of the Charlotte thing. She says she doesn’t agree with Nina and Valentin’s choices a lot, but the truth is, she could have handled it better. Chase suggests focusing on the upside. There are a lot of private schools that would jump at the chance to hire her. Sometimes things that seem to be the worst, actually turn out to be the best. She says it worked out for the best the night she met him.

Franco tells Elizabeth that no one can hold a candle to her. She says it’s going to be a good night, and he says, it’s already pretty good.

Maxie hugs Peter, and brings him over to Nina. She introduces Maxie as her superior fashion editor, who’s doing double work. With her, is the publisher of The Invader, along with his star reporter, Lulu. Maxie hopes it’s less eventful than last year. I die over Lulu’s dress, which is sparkly and from fairyland. Nina gets something caught in her throat, and excuses herself. Sydney says she thought Nina would never leave, and asks about Lulu’s dress.

Unfortunately, I don’t get to hear the answer. Nina goes on the terrace, and sees Jax. She says she’s looking for water, and he asks if she’ll settle for champagne. She says, sure, and sips it. She apologizes, saying she doesn’t usually steal people’s booze, but her throat closed up. He asks if it was an interview with press, and she says she’s a publisher doing this for charity. He says it’s generous of her. She doesn’t know if her throat closed because of the lights (?) or because she hates those two. Did she just say that out loud? Jax says she’s lucky he doesn’t know who she’s referring too. She says champagne goes to her head, and thanks him, saying she’ll see him on the red carpet.

Carly sees Michael, and he introduces Sasha to her and Sonny. Carly says they’ve already met. At the MetroCourt after Sasha’s workout. It’s nice to see her again. Michael says, no Josslyn? and Carly says, no, but she insisted they come. She had second, third, and fourth thoughts about it. Michael tells her to give Josslyn space and confidence. She’ll be okay. Carly excuses herself to go to the ladies room. Sonny says, Michael knows she’s going to text her daughter, right. Michael says, 100%.

Lucy says Scotty knows what to do. He says she just told him. Just go. Lucy says, it’s going to work, and gives Scotty a thumbs up.

Ava tells Doc, don’t worry. Ryan won’t come there with all these people. He’ll wait until she’s alone.

Mac and Felicia arrive. Sydney says it’s not their first Nurses Ball. What’s their favorite act from over the years. Mac says Mr. Something-or-Other (a bad act he did once), of course (🍷).

Sydney welcomes Jax back, and he says he’s happy to be back. She asks if he’s performing, and he says, Sonny sang last year, so maybe he’ll do a dance number. Anything is possible. A reporter grabs him, and asks if it’s a quick visit, or will Port Charles be seeing more of him? He says they’ll see what happens. He likes to keep his options open. Nina stutters trying to ask Jax a question, and Sydney says he’s an international financier; what brings him back to Port Charles? He says he lives in Australia, and Nina says she loves Australia. He asks if she’s been there, and she says, no, but the accent is great. Jax says he just finished a project there, and he’s looking into some opportunities. He’s missed Port Charles, and it’s great to be back, especially for an important cause. Nina says he should say hello to Maxie, and trails off. Sydney tells him, have a good evening, and pokes Nina. Maxie says she didn’t know he was back, and asks how long he’s home for. He says, indefinitely.

Sam and Shiloh walk the carpet. Nina doesn’t know him, and Sam explains that he runs DOD. Nina says, fantastic, and asks where Jason is. It’s not surprising he’s not there, since he probably doesn’t go to events like this. Shiloh says, it’s irrelevant. Sam isn’t defined by anyone else’s decision. Nina says, awesome, and passes them to Maxie. Sam says they heard she was live tweeting. Maxie says she was, but she just shut down. She has to find a friend. I laugh at Sam’s face when their picture is taken. It’s amusing in general how some of the photos have their true feelings written all over their faces.

A man goes up to Doc, telling him a woman passed out on the red carpet. They took her upstairs, but now she’s hysterical. He asks Doc to take a look. Doc asks Ava to excuse him. She says, if it starts, she’ll save him a seat. Scotty smiles.

Valentin approaches Peter and Lulu. He says Lulu looks exceptionally nice. She says Charlotte helped her pick out her dress. Valentin says, she helped Nina with her ensemble as well. Lulu says, maybe she’ll follow in her stepmother’s footsteps. Jax walks in.

Carly tells Jax that she so did not want to come. Jax says he kept offering to bail, and Carly says Josslyn ordered him. Josslyn doesn’t want to be the reason they stayed home. Jax says, it shows they’re listening, and have faith in her.

Lulu sees Sonny at the bar. He thought her mom was coming, but she says Laura is working on a special assignment. He says, mayor business? and she says, something like that.

Curtis tells Laura, they’ve got to get out. She thinks she can reach his knot. She gets his arm untied, and he says she is good.

Scotty tells Ava to with him to see something, and drags her off.

Doc knocks on a room door. He says received word someone needed assistance. Lucy pulls him into the room. She’s wearing nothing but a slip, and he assumes she didn’t faint on the carpet. She says, no, but it’s truly an emergency. Ava doesn’t know him like she does. She doesn’t see he’s feeling guilty about something he didn’t do. He says, that’s not what’s happening. She says he has a big, generous heart, but he doesn’t have to take care of Ava. Please let her save him from himself.

Jax talks to Josslyn on the phone. He says if she changes her mind, he has his phone on. Lulu, Peter, and Valentin come down the hall. Lulu introduces her boss and Valentin to Jax, but I get the vibe that Jax and Valentin know each other.

Willow and Chase sip champagne. She says, it’s no vintage of love, but it will get her through the evening. She suddenly stops, and Chase asks if she’s okay. She sees Shiloh and Sam.

Nina introduces Finn and Anna, former super spy. Sydney says they’re a lovely looking couple. At least Anna doesn’t look like an old lady this year, and has a nicely draped, black sleeveless dress; kind of Grecian. Sydney asks who she’s wearing, and Anna is like, umm… Nina says don’t keep them in suspense, and Anna stares at Robert, who just walked in. Nina introduces him as another super spy, and says he’s looking dashing. As they all are. Sydney says, an intriguing trio, and Nina says, for sure. She tells the viewers, the Ball is starting.

Chase tells Willow that she’s safe. Sam asks Shiloh if he’s sure he wants to do this. He says he just wants to say hello to Sonny and Carly. He asks how Kristina is, and Sonny says, better now. Shiloh says they’re looking forward to her return, but Carly says she wouldn’t count on it. He assures them he has the best intentions, as well as being Kristina’s friend. Sonny says he’s a philosopher, right? He says he used to be called that. Carly bets he’s been called other things too. Sonny says the philosophy he goes by is, family first, and always, at any cost.

Curtis gets loose, and unties Laura. He says they have to get out of there. It’s gonna blow. They run outside, and get blown off the porch.

Scotty brings Ava to the hotel room where Doc is. She says she has no time for this nonsense. He tells her, trust him. It’s for her own good. He opens the door, and goes, ah-ha! Caught you! but looks surprised himself.

Nina tells Sydney that she was flawless. Sydney says Nina too. They make a great team. Nina says, in print and on the red carpet. Sydney thinks Nina has someone waiting for her. Valentin is there, and says, let’s get out of here. Nina and Sydney air kiss. Nina says they’ll talk soon, and Sydney says, not too soon. Nina goes inside with Valentin.

Finn tells Robert that he wants his ring back.

Felicia tells Anna that she and Robert made quite an entrance. Which one is her date?

The Nurses Ball is about to begin. Everyone takes their seats. Jax watches Nina and Valentin.

On Monday, Lucy welcomes everyone, Anna tells Robert that Finn is her date, Maxie says Shiloh is the perfect name for a cult leader, and Jason tells Spinelli that they’re setting Shiloh up tonight.

🍳 Tonight, I happened to catch MasterChef: Celebrity Family Showdown. I hadn’t even heard about this particular Gordon Ramsay effort, but as if getting that blessing on a Friday night wasn’t enough, Lisa Vanderpump was a contestant, teamed with her daughter Pandora, against Snooki and JWoww from The Jersey Shore. The other two teams were Johnny Weir and his brother, vs Tara Lipinski and her husband. It was cooking something with a while fish, and Tara won, but who cares about them? The next teams’ challenge was to recreate a dish from tasting it, blindfolded. Lisa and Pandy were given a swordfish dish, while the Shore babes were given veal piccata. Puffy was along for the ride with Lisa, and although he was presented with his own tiny apron (so he wouldn’t feel left out – aww!) by Gordon, he was palmed off to Ken when the cooking started. The prize was $25K to the winner’s choice of charity, but the loser would still get $15K. Both teams were off somewhat, with Lisa and Pandy substituting snapper for swordfish, and Snooki and JWoww making marsala instead of piccata. Since they got the veal part right, the latter team won. I couldn’t even tell you the charity, since I was concentrating on Lisa, whose money would have gone to the dogs. My favorite part was when Lisa kicked the fridge door shut with her foot. Queens who can do no wrong! They’re just like us! The next part airs on Wednesday, May 22nd at 8 pm (FOX), and will be rerun on Friday at 9 pm. Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth and their daughters will be competing against Evander Holyfield, Oscar De La Hoya and their daughters.

🐉 Another Theory…

The horse belonged to Zoolander.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/a27474871/arya-dead-white-horse-theory-game-of-thrones/?source=nl&utm_source=nl_cos&utm_medium=email&date=051519&src=nl&utm_campaign=16874146

💸 Another Bad Day For Jim…

He has, but she wants him to have not.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/dukes-of-hazzard-star-john-schneiders-wages-garnished-by-ex/

💃 She’s Movin’ Moved On…

Larissa wasted no time after Coltee was out of the picture.

http://extratv.com/2019/05/14/90-day-fiance-star-larissa-lima-doesnt-look-like-this-anymore-see-her-post-divorce-makeover/?adid=extra_eme_27028_2019-05-16_rightnow5

❓ Remember Her?

No longer naked wasted, but still behind in payments.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/pregnant-gretchen-rossi-accused-of-falling-26000-behind-in-home-payments/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

❓❓ Remember Them?

Me neither.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/rhom-plastic-surgeon-leonard-hochstein-legal-battle/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🃏 Harsh Realities…

The only sure things in life are death, taxes, and Jax being an idiot.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/vanderpump-rules-jax-taylor-owes-80000-in-taxes/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

A soon-to-be married idiot.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1040483/all-the-details-on-jax-taylor-s-epic-first-bachelor-party?source=email&medium=emn-content-5&cmpid=evening&content=emn-news

The suckerfish that is Hoppy just won’t go away.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1041732/bethenny-frankel-says-jason-hoppy-tortured-her-during-dramatic-court-showdown?source=email&medium=emn-content-4&cmpid=morning-a&content=emn-news

📚 Quotes of the Week

I tried every diet in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book — it tasted better than most of the diets!Dolly Parton

Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem. – Virginia Satir

What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?Vincent Van Gogh

Is your d*ck circumstanced? – Felix Kendrickson (Jasper Pääkkönen), BlacKkKlansman

Remember, the storm is a good opportunity for the pine and the cypress to show their strength and their stability. – Ho Chi Minh

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.Gilda Radner – I couldn’t agree more.

✨ In Loving Memory…

Of Marisol’s Mom. Anyone have some good champagne they’d like to share? Makes you wonder about the botched plastic surgery though.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/rhom-star-mama-elsa-patton-dies-at-age-84/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

Of the blonde in the squad, and an icon of the 60s.

https://pagesix.com/2019/05/12/peggy-lipton-of-the-mod-squad-and-twin-peaks-dies-at-72/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190513&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-7911525-711673032

Of internet sensation, Grumpy Cat. We’ll miss you most of all.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/grumpy-cat-died/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🎭 And Last But Not Least…

I loved him on the Carol Burnett Show, especially when he and Harvey Korman would crack up.

 

 

 

 

January 16, 2019 – Laura Takes the Oath, a Listening Party in NJ, Jax Might Still Be Most Horrible Human, Badass & Bezos, & Life

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly is on the phone, saying she knows Lucy needs flowers, and she knows Lucy needs room sign the books. She says that part doesn’t fit with budget, and they should talk to Lucy’s primary investor. He’s there and would love to talk to them. She hands the phone to Sonny. He asks how the launch is going, and says he’ll be there. He knows it’s going to be the whole works; French champagne and caviar. He says he’s getting static and can’t hear. He has to go. He tells Carly that she owes him. She says he owes her for hosting the launch. Lucy is almost at Nurses’ Ball level. He promises to make it up to her, but says they have a bigger problem.

Scotty meets Ava in Charlie’s. He says it’s good to see her out and about. She tells him to enjoy it while it lasts. If he does his job right, he won’t be seeing her around.

Curtis comes in, and sits with Stella. He says he hasn’t seen her around lately, and asks if she’s been busy with Mike’s case. She says she has, among others.

Franco tells Aiden a ten-layer chocolate cake is a great idea. They’ll have to buy more pans. Elizabeth is trying to get everyone ready, and tells them Grandma Laura’s inauguration is a big deal. Aiden asks if Charlotte will be there.

On the phone, Peter says, that’s good news, and thanks Anna for telling him. Lulu is waiting, and says she can’t get anyone – on or off the record – to tell her anything about connecting the crimes. He says if the PCPD won’t confirm it, they’ll say it’s just a rumor. It’s not newsworthy, and he doesn’t publish rumors. If she can’t get the PCPD to talk about it, she has to find someone who will.

Mac and Jordan approach Maxie. Jordan tells her to cancel Lucy’s event before it becomes a crime scene.

Before the inauguration, Laura sees not-Doc. She didn’t think he’d come. He says he supported her candidacy, and he supports her as mayor. She asks why he’s there, and he says to help save her administration from failing before it gets off the ground. She didn’t realize it was in danger. He says she needs to take office with a clean slate. They need to finalize their divorce.

Elizabeth tells Aiden that she doesn’t know if Charlotte will be there. She’s Grandma Laura’s grandchild too, so she wouldn’t be surprised. Franco thinks Aiden should bring some of his awesome cookies. It’s the way to open people’s hearts, and Laura might snag a second term because of his baking. The chocolate chip are his though. Elizabeth says, five minutes. Cameron says he’ll believe it when he sees it. Cameron asks Jake, what’s up with Aiden and Charlotte? and Jake tells him, ask Aiden. Cameron says he’s asking him. Obviously, he knows something. Jake says, Charlotte has been bullying Aiden.

Scotty asks if Ava invited him out to put him to work, instead of for his sparkling personality and companionship. She thought that came with the service, but he says there’s an extra charge. She says she’ll pay him double if he works quickly. She needs him to oversee the sale of her penthouse and the gallery with all its contents.

Curtis asks Stella if there’s been more friction with Marcus over Yvonne. She says everything was smoothed over. Marcus and Sonny came to terms.  Yvonne is staying put, and her friendship with Mike proceeds uninhibited. He says, that’s good news. She says it’s not easy on Marcus, and Curtis says, but it’s a blessing that he has her for support. She doesn’t think he sees it that way.

Scotty asks if Ava is downsizing, but she says, migrating. He says, she’s leaving town? She tells him, if all goes well. He hopes wherever she’s going, she has friends. It’s hard to be alone, and nowhere she wants to be. She says she didn’t say she was going to be alone.

Not-Doc tells Laura that he Initiated the divorce, but he’s yet to hear from her lawyer. She says she’s engaged Alexis. He says, then they can proceed. She says, another time, but he says it sets the wrong tone for her administration. Why start with a lie? She says he’s worried about her reputation, yet he pushed for a public separation in the middle of her campaign. He’s worried people will think they have a working marriage. She says she thought they did. He knows it’s difficult to look past one’s own preconceptions to a new role. She tells him his request will have to wait.

Lulu tells Peter that she has plenty to go on. She can compare and contrast the murders, and get comments from people in town. He says she can’t write about it without saying the PCPD thinks there’s a connection. She says her readers deserve to know about the person who’s already murdered three people, especially when their lives are on the line. He tells her to write the story after the inauguration. She can write what she wants, but it’s his call as to what gets published. She’s not worried.

Sonny tells Carly that Ava wants to move; start someplace new. Carly says, not with Avery, and he says that’s what he told her. Carly says Ava shouldn’t let that stop her from moving; she’ll even drive the truck. Sonny says she wanted him to agree to extended visits; months. Carly says she’s not disrupting Avery’s life, and if Ava takes her for an extended visit, they’ll have to hire Spinelli and Brick to track her down. They hear a bunch of noise coming from upstairs.

Jordan tells Maxie it’s not the right time for a book that celebrates Port Charles. Lulu blows in, saying the cleaner screwed up her dress. She asks if Maxie can hook her up. Mac asks if she can convince Maxie to cancel. They’re concerned the killer will use the venue to pose another victim. Maxie says, it’s a book signing, not a huge event or holiday. They’ll be fine, right? Lulu doesn’t know. She takes out her phone, and puts it on record. She asks the commissioner what she thinks.

Not-Doc asks if Laura is really fighting him on this. He thought they’d agreed. She says she’s asking him to be patient. He says he was, when she was playing nursemaid to Spencer. She says, he had two broken legs, and Spencer was part of the package. He’s acting like she sprang Spencer on him. Not-Doc says Spencer needs supervision for more than being clumsy. He says it’s obviously over, and she says he’s not concerned about her. He wants to finalize it so he can play house with Ava.

Scotty tells Ava not to say she’s taking Dr. Filthy with her. She says, okay; she won’t say it. He says housing is down market, and she’ll have to settle. She says she can’t leave without Avery, and he says she might as well put her feet up and get comfy. There’s no way Sonny will let her leave the state line, let alone to another country. Ava says they have shared custody, but Scotty says the agreement has no wiggle room. The only way she’ll take Avery is over Sonny’s dead body.

Curtis says Stella helped Marcus make peace with Sonny, and she must take comfort that Yvonne and Mike are staying. She tells him it created distance between her and Marcus, but it’s not her he’s really angry at.

Mike flies downstairs. Sonny asks why he’s tearing his room apart, and Carly asks what he’s looking for; they can help. He can’t understand what happened to it. He’s lost his watch. His wife, Adele gave it to him. He promised to show it to Yvonne, and he can’t find it. Mike gets more agitated, saying he always keeps it with him, and now it’s gone. Sonny takes it out of a desk drawer, and gives it to him. He says when Mike was at the hospital, he asked Sonny to hold on to it. Mike says, that’s not true. Give it back. Sonny says Mike was afraid he’d lose it, and Mike calls him a liar.

Cameron says, Charlotte has is bullying Aiden? Jake says, was, but he thinks other kids might be messing with him. They think he’s a weirdo. Cameron says, and Jake is letting it go? Jake asks what he’s supposed to do. Cameron says, if it’s a boy, beat him up. If it’s a girl, tell on them. Girls hate being in trouble. Jake says he doesn’t beat up people, and they’ll think he’s a snitch. Cameron didn’t say it was easy. Aiden is his little brother. It’s his responsibility to protect him. Jake says he’ll try, but he can’t follow Aiden around. Elizabeth tells them it’s time to leave.

Jordan tells Lulu, no comment at this time. Lulu asks if Maxie if Jordan indicated the timing is linked to major holidays and big events. Maxie says she’s not getting in middle. Lulu asks if there’s something about event she thinks will draw the killer out. Maxie says Lucy is going to kill her. Jordan tells Maxie that Nathan would say she should cancel. Lulu says how dare she? Today is Nathan and Maxie’s wedding anniversary.

Peter tells Mac that he cares for Maxie, and Mac says, then it’s time to step up. Peter says he can’t be everywhere at once, but he’s doing everything to insure Maxie’s safety. Mac says, take Lulu off the story.

Not-Doc admits he want the freedom be with Ava, but quick and painless is best for everyone. It’s not fair to hold a failed marriage over their heads. She says she’s minutes away from the Oath of Office. Once she’s mayor, she will dive into every issue, not the least of which is the serial killer. He tells her to let the police sort it out, but she says the divorce will have to wait. The people are her first priority. He says, or is she dragging her feet over a commitment to a lost cause? Namely, their marriage.

Ava asks Scotty, what are the odds of Sonny dropping dead? and he says, not good. People have been trying to kill him for twenty-five years, and had no luck. He suggests she stay. Let her friends help her get on with her life. She asks why he won’t help her, and he says he’ll give her some free advice – drop it. He’s been there, and knows it’s tough, but she’ll learn to live with it. She says she has a chance to start over with Doc, and Scotty wonders if it’s Doc’s big idea. She says, what if it is?

Curtis says Marcus has a right to his anger and grief, but no right to take it out on Stella. He wants to give that cat a piece of his mind. Stella says he’ll do no such thing. Curtis says she was doing Marcus a favor, but she doubts Marcus would agree. Curtis tells her, when it’s all said and done, he’ll realize what he had in her, and he’ll be sorry he hurt her. Stella asks what Curtis thinks she is to Marcus.

Mike says how dare Sonny. Carly says he was just holding it, but Mike says Sonny took it from his room. He wants Sonny arrested. Sonny says it’s his house, and Mike asks Carly what kind of operation she’s running; letting trash like that go in and out of the rooms. What’s her cut? How many people misplace valuables? Carly says, this is his son, but Mike says he doesn’t have a son. Sonny tells him, go upstairs, and Mike says don’t touch him. Sonny can’t have his watch. He punches Sonny, as well as my heart. Mike tells Sonny not to go behind his back; fight like a man. Carly tells Mike to go to his room or she’ll have him thrown out. Or does he want to lose his deposit? Mike tells Sonny, if he sees Mike coming, walk the other way.

Peter tells Mac it’s in the public’s best interest to be informed. Mac thinks they’re more interested in staying alive. Peter says they’re more prepared if they have the facts. Mac says if the theory is that the recent murders were inspired by Ryan, where did the killer get that? Peter tells him to read The Invader, and he’ll find out.  Mac asks him to keep Ryan out of the story a little longer. If the killer knows they’re on to him and his M.O., he might stay two steps ahead of them. The more time they have to study the case, the better chance of catching him. Peter understands Ryan was obsessed with Felicia. Mac says, and Felicia still lives there. If he is a copycat, she and Maxie are both targets. It’s the best edge they have. He tells Peter, for Maxie’s sake, bury the story.

Lulu says how dare Jordan use Nathan’s name to get something from Maxie. Today of all days. Jordan says she didn’t realize it was their anniversary, and Maxie says, it’s okay. She didn’t know. She’s right to try to protect the people, but wrong about what Nathan would say. He’d say, life must go on, and not to live in fear. If they make their world smaller, they’re letting the killer win.

Curtis tells Stella that Marcus should be grateful she’s back in his life. Stella says he’s over-estimating their connection. They have bittersweet memories, and it’s better left that way.

Ava tells Scotty her relationship is off limits. He says, Doc is married to Laura. She says, they’re separated. He knows she’s been in a bad place, and he’s been there for her. Scotty tells her, consider the source. He’s willing to completely sacrifice his relationship. Does she think he’ll treat her better? She says she thought he’d be glad she’s happy, or at least not drowning in vodka. He says she can do better, and she says, with who? Him?

Laura tells not-Doc, surrendering her marriage is hard. She still loves the man she said her vows to, and despite evidence to the contrary, believes he still exists. Not-Doc says perhaps he’s not the man she thought he was in the first place. She asks what he means, and he says he’s sorry he didn’t live up to her image of him. Perhaps if they’d spent more time together before, they might have realized they’re not a good fit. She doesn’t challenge him. They don’t play with the same stakes. She doesn’t even understand the game.

Carly checks on Sonny, but he says he’s got it. He doesn’t want Avery upset, but Carly says she’s playing in her room and didn’t notice anything. She says they have to talk, and he says, these things happen. They were warned there would be aggression. Carly says, being told doesn’t make the reality any less jarring. He’s sorry she saw that. She’s sorry he went through it. What if comes after Sonny again? What if Sonny has to defend himself? He’s stronger than Mike. Sonny says he can land a punch that sends a message, but Carly says, how will he deal with the aftermath? He’s a survivor of domestic violence. How will it feel if he has to go that far?

Ava asks Scotty if the cross-examination is about what’s good for her or him? and he says, maybe both. She says he’s had plenty of opportunities to speak his mind. He says he didn’t think she’d listen. She says she’s with Doc. He brought her back from the brink. Scotty says he’ll push her over the brink. Is running off with him worth going to war with Sonny? Not-Doc walks in. Ava says they just finished their business, and Scotty was leaving. Scotty says he hears they’re leaving for parts unknown. Doc says a change of scenery can be therapeutic. Scotty calls it relocating, and accuses not-Doc of what the shrinks call avoidance. Not-Doc says that’s why he’s a psychiatrist, and Scotty isn’t. He asks if Scotty is planning a memorial, and tells Ava that Scotty’s stepmother died. Ava says she’s sorry, and not-Doc says if Scotty needs someone to talk to, his door is open. Scotty says, see ya, Ava. Good luck.

At the inauguration, Jordan congratulates Laura. Everyone takes selfies, shakes her hand, or hugs her. Elizabeth runs up with the boys, and they hug. A man takes the podium, and says it’s his pleasure to administer the Oath of Office for Port Charles’s new mayor, Laura Collins. Laura begins to get sworn in, but when she’s about to say her own name, she flashes back to not-Doc asking her why she’s wearing her ring, and her telling him that they’re separated, not divorced. She asks for a moment. She doesn’t want to take the Oath this way. She doesn’t want begin her administration with any misconception. So in full disclosure… She says, sorry about the timing, and asks to begin again. When she gets to her name, she says, she, Laura Webber, swears to support and defend the Constitution of the United States, the Constitution of the State of New York, and the Charter of the City of Port Charles, and faithfully discharge the duties of Mayor of the City of Port Charles, to the best of her ability. So help her, God. The man says, congratulations, Madam Mayor. Everyone applauds.

Elizabeth tells Laura, it’s a good day for the Webber clan. She’s glad she’s there. So is Laura. Aiden passes out cookies. Stella says, they’re delicious, and he tells her that he made them. She predicts a glorious future as a baker.

Cameron asks Franco, what’s with the baking? Franco says Aiden likes it, and he’s good at it. Does Cameron have a problem with it? Cameron says, he doesn’t, but other kids might think he’s weird. Franco says cookies are a win for everybody. Cameron says he’s not ashamed; what he is, is worried. At home they can build Aiden up, but that doesn’t change how others treat him.

Curtis sees Jordan, and she asks if he had coffee with Stella. He says Sonny and Marcus worked it out, and Jordan says, it worked out for everyone. Curtis says, except Stella.

Lulu says Laura took off her ring, and Laura says, it was past time. Doc showed up with the final divorce papers right before the ceremony. Lulu says never in a million years would she believe Doc would do this to her. Laura says, her neither. Lulu says she’s there for her if she needs to talk.

Peter finds Maxie and Lulu, and Maxie asks if Peter is coming to the book signing. He says he thought they’d think twice about a public event right now. Lulu says she can do some interviews for the article, but Peter says it would be a waste of time to write it. He’s changed his mind. He’s going with his first instinct, and not running the story.

Laura tells Jordan that she wants a full briefing about the serial killer on her desk within the hour. Wow. Cracking the whip already.

Not-Doc tells Ava, Laura agreed to a quick divorce. It will be over soon. No muss, no fuss. Ava says, that’s great, and, noting her lack of enthusiasm, he says, is it? She says, as much as she wants to go away, Scotty gave her a reality check. Sonny will keep Avery by any means necessary. She can’t leave without Avery. Not-Doc asks, why doesn’t he have a go at this? She doesn’t want drag him in, but he says he’s exactly where he wants to be.

Carly tells Sonny that she wants to discuss this. Her phone rings. It’s not-Doc, who apologizes for his behavior. She was right. The murders have taken their toll on him. It’s no excuse, but he hopes she forgives him. She says, apology accepted. She says she could have been more understanding. He says recent events have everyone on edge, and she says, ain’t that the truth? He’s happy make time to talk, and she says, it couldn’t have come at a better time. There’s something she’d like to discuss, but Sonny will have to come. He says, no problem. Does she have time today?

Tomorrow, Valentin tells Nina that he knows a way to fix it, Oscar is planning a future with Josslyn, and Willow wants another conference with Lulu.

🎧 On The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa was perplexed about how fruit has sugar, when it’s grown from the ground. Or is it grown on trees? Since they were trapped on a bus, headed to a wine tasting, Jennifer accosted Jackie about the article. Because phones yield all evidence, Jackie read the offending passage, and I didn’t get how Jennifer was finding it negative. Neither did anyone else. She used the word spoiled, but even that wasn’t in a bad way. Long article short, Jackie said she was also guilty of giving her kids everything, and hoped [Jennifer’s kids] remained the sweet kids she met. So…  If you’re going to stir the pot, at least make sure there is one. Pantygate had better back-up.

At the wine tasting, I felt sorry for Teresa. I thought, oh come on, what’s a taste, but I do know how strict you have to be when you compete. She said Milania was passionate about her music, but I’m not seeing this. She also invited the ladies to Milania’s listening party. Marge made the mistake of telling Jennifer that she couldn’t relate culturally to a set-up marriage (arranged is offensive; set up is okay), and a somewhat drunk Jennifer called it a pattern that both The Marge and Marge Sr. slept with a married man. Somehow, Jackie diffused the situation by saying what really matters is everyone found someone to love. Teresa needed a vacation, so she and Melissa decided on Cabo after the competition, and of course were inviting the other women. No one was looking forward to Danielle and Marge crossing paths for the first time since Bimini.

While getting ready for the party, Milania told Teresa to watch out; she was going to make more money than her. <snort!> Much to her delight, Fetty Wap showed up to wish Milania well, and she showed more enthusiasm for him than I’ve seen in any of her performances. I’m actually wondering if she got roped into this. By Andy. Milania and friends sleepwalked their way through their number, something about growing up. Even though it lacked spark, she blew the place up. Maybe her hunger for the stage is in her head, and everyone is receiving it by mental telepathy. Danielle had told Teresa that Marge said not to trust her or Melissa. Melissa and Marge confronted Danielle at the party, because it was the appropriate place. Marge said Danielle didn’t know who to trust, and she’d told her, don’t trust anybody then. She demanded to know why Danielle twisted her words when she’d never singled anyone out. Delores identified, and felt vindicated. Joes #2 and #3, and Marty, kibitzed in the background. Joe #2, who can be sane when he wants to be, didn’t think Marge would say something like that, but Marty argued that Marge was jealous because Danielle was so blindingly gorgeous. Maybe he’s bucking to be the new Peter. Marge was done, and called Danielle diabolical.

Next time, Teresa’s competition and the ladies go to Cabo.

🍔 You Mean It Isn’t?

…Jax found out that Tom and Ariana were saying that maybe Jax is still shaken up by his dad’s death, could possibly get bored with his engagement to Brittany, and would thusly return to his sociopathic ways. I mean, they might have a point, given that Jax thinks the definition of being a gentleman is making his girlfriend a sandwich and buying her tampons.

https://betches.com/jax-taylor-unfollowed-one-of-his-vpr-costars-on-instagram/

🌌 To Round Out the Meal…

Some midweek quotes, and a little info.

Badass, to me, means doing what should be done in a situation because it’s what’s needed and maybe you’re the person to do it, and if not, how do you get to the person who needs to do it? And not needing to be liked or think you need to be liked so much. I was likable, and [now] I don’t really give a sh*t about that. – Melissa McCarthy

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded,Ralph Waldo Emerson. Supposedly, Jeff Bezos has this taped on his fridge, however…  Bezos attributes the quote to Ralph Waldo Emerson, but this has been debunked many times. And although the exact origins have still not been settled, the prevailing thought is that it is derived from a 1904 poem by Bessie Anderson Stanley.

More on that here:

https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/jeff-bezos-says-this-quote-has-been-on-his-refrigerator-for-years

💻 This About Sums It Up…

where

 

February 5, 2018 – Peter Gets Grilled, I Hate Jax Even More & the Colonel

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Carly tells Jason that he wants to do the noble thing, and is concerned about Sam’s happiness. She tells him that he should fight for her, unless he believes she’ll be happier with Drew. Jason says he doesn’t get to decide what makes Sam happy, so please drop it.

Sam believes who Drew is inside is still there. He doesn’t need the flash drive; he can remember on his own. He says aside from a flicker of déjà vu when he met Kim, it’s a blank. The flash drive might be his best chance. Sam tells him if they find it, she wants him to be careful how he uses it.

Franco gives Doc the rabbit foot to put alongside the brain in a jar. Doc says it’s party central now; all they need is a disco ball. Doc asks if it’s connected to Franco’s claim that he hurt people as a child. He was only a little boy. Franco says he sent the boy who was his best friend at the time, falling down a flight of stairs.

Elizabeth asks Griff how he’s holding up. Griff says he’s lost patients before, but this one hit hard. Elizabeth says they had a history, and Griff adds, not a good one. He wonders if there’s something more he could have done, and didn’t.

At the MetroCourt bar, Ava tells Nelle not to underestimate Carly. Once she paints a target on your back, she won’t rest until she takes you out. Nelle says she’ll have to take Carly out first. Ava says she needs to plan and have s strategy. Nelle needs to be careful that Carly doesn’t suspect anything. Nelle says she won’t, just like the last time. Ava tells her that Carly knows how she operates now, and Nelle says she came close to pulling it off. Ava says until she fell in love with Carly’s son. Nelle tells Ava the biggest obstacle between her and Michael is his family.

Sonny knocks on Mike’s door. A woman opens it, and checks him out, leaving the chain attached. Sonny starts to introduce himself, but she says she recognizes him, and opens the door. She says Mike must be in more trouble than she thought.

Franco tells Doc that he thought the other boy was his brother, since his mom raised them together. Doc asks where his parents were, and Franco says Betsy was hiding the boy from Alan; it was Drew. Betsy thought Franco might hurt him again, so she sent him to live in an orphanage. He wonders if Faison did Drew a favor.

At the Aurora office, Peter looks at the latest article about Faison. A police officer comes in, and tells Peter they’re almost finished. They’re doing a final sweep to look for the bullet Faison shot at him.

Sam tells Drew they have no leads on the flash drive. She wonders what he’s thinking, since they can’t exactly plug it into him, and access his memories and past. What if it’s worse than they know? Why chase after something so dangerous to use?

Carly needs Jason to be okay. She’s not sure she can get through the next six months. Oh, that’s nice. She needs him to be okay for her. She can’t believe that psychopath is carrying her grandchild. He didn’t see how Nelle took advantage of Morgan’s death. Carly did her part, beginning the involvement with taking Nelle’s kidney, but she attacked them at their most vulnerable, and Carly thinks she doesn’t have a heart or soul. Jason asks if Nelle scares her, and she says she’s terrified that Nelle is carrying Michael’s child. He puts up with more than he should, and she doesn’t want that for him. Jason isn’t saying there’s no reason to worry, but tells her that Michael is an incredible man, and will be an incredible father. He might give Nelle too much leeway, but will put the baby first, and they’ll be there to help. Carly says it won’t be the last time he’ll need to calm her down; he’s going to have to stop her from kicking Nelle’s ass. Michael walks in and asks if she’s pissed at Nelle again, or is there a family crisis he doesn’t know about?

The woman invites Sonny in, telling him that she and Mike have been together five years. She says Mike talks about Sonny all the time, and tells him what beautiful kids he has. She introduces herself as Rita. She tells Sonny that they met at Gamblers Anonymous, and it’s good to have a boyfriend who’s also in recovery; they understand each other. At least she thought they did. Recently, two goons showed up, saying Mike owed them ten large. Sonny asks where Mike is, and she says that’s the problem. She has no idea.

Rita says Mike went out to get the paper. Nothing seemed strange; he was his usual cheerful self. Sonny suggests calling him, but Rita says he left his phone. She tells Sonny that he clams to get caught up talking to people, but he’s been vague and wandering. It’s the first sign of shady behavior since they’ve been together. Sonny asks who he borrowed $10K from, and she says not borrowed. It was his boss’s money that he was supposed to deliver.

Carly tells Michael that she’s pissed, and has every reason to be. He asks if this a brand new reason, and Carly claims not to be looking for conflict, but Nelle makes it inevitable. Jason tries to ditch this conversation, but she asks him to stay. He sighs. Michael tries to talk, but Carly barrels over him, and Jason tells her to let him talk. Michael says that Nelle is connected to their family now. They’re having a kid, and it’s going to be okay. She asks how, and he says he doesn’t know yet; they’ll work on it. He knows she hates it, but she won’t self-destruct. When she feels it coming on, call Jason, and he’ll talk her down. Jason says he loves them both, but he’ll see them later. When he’s gone, Michael tells Carly to lay it on him. What did Nelle do?

Ava says Michael must have felt the same way about Nelle at some point. Nelle says it was wonderful for a while. Ava asks what happened, and answers her own question; Carly. Nelle says no matter how many times she apologized, Carly wouldn’t let it go. It wasn’t enough for her and Sonny to hate her; she wanted Michael to hate her too. She chipped away at him, and whispered in his ear, until he finally took her word over Nelle’s. Ava says she’s sorry, but Nelle says, she’s not. That won’t be how it is forever. They’ll have a beautiful baby, and give the baby what she always wanted and never had; two loving parents, a family, and a home full of love.

Doc asks Franco how it felt, pushing his friend down the stairs. Franco is ambivalent, since he doesn’t know what happened; Betsy told him about it. Doc says she’s lied before, but Franco says she lied to protect him, not hurt him. It took months to pry it out of her, and even then she was reluctant. Doc wonders if she just wanted him to think so. Franco says she knew the truth, and he pushed Drew to hurt him.

Elizabeth says Griff is a great doctor; one of GH’s best. He would have never let the animosity between him and Nathan get in the way. The only person responsible is Faison.

Jason visits Peter at the Aurora office. He heard Peter paid Faison a visit, and asks why. Peter says Faison took a shot at him, and he wanted him to know it didn’t take. Jason asks if there was anything else, and Peter says, not really, no. Jason asks which it is; not really or no? He asks if there was any chance the guard outside overheard their conversation, but Peter says the door was closed. Jason tells him he was the last person to see Faison alive, aside from the staff. Peter asks, what is this about exactly?

Sonny asks Rita if Mike is a bag man. She says he picks up the money and brings it to his boss. Sonny says, Caruso, and she says he’s a fair man and pays well. Mike doesn’t want to ask Sonny for money; being a burden is his worst nightmare. It’s the first time he didn’t deliver, and has been trustworthy up until now. She thinks he’s gambling again, and swiped the money to pay back the debt because he can’t come up with anything else. Mike (being played by Max Gail – they’re dragging in all the old sitcom guys) walks in. Mike asks Rita to make some coffee. His son has come for a visit.

Doc asks if Franco can recall any feelings surrounding the incident or hostility toward Drew for any reason? Franco says he wasn’t even in kindergarten yet. Doc asks what about afterward; did he miss Drew? Franco tells him that he asked about it so often, Betsy thought it was in his best interest to convince him that Drew never existed; he was a figment of Franco’s imagination. Drew didn’t fall by himself, but it still leaves the big question as to why.

Ava tells Nelle that she wants her little girl back even more now. Nelle says she’s not even a mom yet, but can’t imagine being separated from her baby. Ava says it’s a torture like no other, but she doesn’t see much choice. Nelle says, for now, but if she gets her way, Carly won’t be an issue for either of them. She’s going to fight fire with fire. Ava asks if she’s going to prove Carly is an unfit mother. Nelle says there’s some truth to that. Ava says she’s deranged when she perceives a threat to her family. She becomes 100% unhinged.

Michael asks if Carly confronted Nelle about her lost year. Carly says sort of, and Nelle turned violent and tried to hit her. I vote for someone clocking Carly really good.

Sam and Drew go over how Andre put the flash drive in a Christmas ornament, gave it to Anna, and and she unknowingly put it in a box of ornaments for the community tree. Sam says it disappeared afterward, and Drew asks what about the other ornaments? She says they were all still there, and he says it wasn’t random then. Someone was looking for it. Sam says it wasn’t Faison; he had no idea it existed, but maybe Henrik has it.

Peter tells Jason it’s starting to feel like an interrogation. Jason asks if Faison mentioned Henrik. Peter says no, but thanks him for the bullet that took Faison out. Jason wonders why Faison would have come to the Crimson office. Peter says he was there dropping off a report, but maybe Faison wanted to get to Maxie. Jason can’t figure out why he wouldn’t have gone to her apartment, and instead went to the office where there could be witnesses like Peter?

Rita is glad Mike is okay, and Mike asks why he wouldn’t be? Sonny asks for moment, and Rita says she has to open the bar anyway. She tells Sonny not to be a stranger, and leaves. Mike says it’s good to see him and they make small talk. He’s sorry about Morgan, and says no parent should have to bury a child. He tells Sonny that he had a week of masses said, and Sonny thanks him. He’s sorry he couldn’t have been there, and wishes he’d been the kind of father Sonny could turn to for support. He’s sorry about all of it. Sonny asks what trouble he’s gotten himself into?

Doc suggests maybe Franco never pushed Drew, or it was an accident. He was just a small child, and children are impulsive. Franco says it wasn’t an accident, but Doc thinks maybe he’s begging to be branded a lost cause to protect himself. Franco says he’s trying to protect Elizabeth and the kids. Doc asks if he’s ever had the impulse to hurt any of them, and Franco says, no. Doc asks if that doesn’t speak volumes. Franco says it doesn’t prove he’s cured, and Doc says it doesn’t prove he’s not. If there’s even the whisper of a chance he could hurt them, he’d need to get away, even if breaks his heart.

Elizabeth tells Griff that she and Franco finally set a date. She says it’s a struggle for him to be happy, and he tends to self-sabotage. Griff says it’s a process, and he needs to trust it. Elizabeth says process should be his middle name. He needs to learn to get out of his own way. Griff thinks that’s a lesson for all of them. Elizabeth asks does he ever wonder if Ava will revert to her old ways, and how that would change everything? He says he thinks about there always being that chance, but he has faith. They toast to faith with their water bottles.

Nelle tells Ava that she’s going to hit Carly where it hurts, and knows exactly how to do it.

Carly tells Michael that Nelle tried to slap her, but she has excellent reflexes. He asks how it went down, because Michael talks like a combination hippie/gangster from the 70s. He knows it didn’t happen out of the blue. Carly says she knows how to push Nelle to the breaking point, and Michael asks if she said Nelle would be an unfit mother. She says it could have happened that way, but it was more like she intimated he would think so. Michael tells her that’s not fair. She says she had no idea how Nelle would react, and she knows he wouldn’t allow a child to be in danger. He tells her to trust him. He gets it, and everything will work out. Carly tells him, if he says so.

Sam says maybe Henrik had Anna followed, but Drew asks how he would know that the flash drive was in the ornament? She says maybe he had audio surveillance, and beat her to the park. Drew says the problem is that they don’t know who Henrik is or how to find him. Even though neither one of them are comfortable with the procedure, if she wants an adventure, they should go looking for the flash drive. They can call Anna, and find out what she knows. Sam thinks they should call Jason too, but Drew says to leave him out for now. Anna can tell them what they need to know. They still have a company to run, and he has a meeting with Peter. Sam says she’ll meet Drew later at home.

Jason tells Peter that Faison wouldn’t make a move unless it was calculated. Peter says he could have had Maxie followed. Jason says she got there after he did, and Peter says maybe his car was faster. Or maybe he used the Star Trek transporter. Peter says he’s sorry Jason can’t get answers from Faison, but he’s not sure how he can help. Jason asks if he knows anything about the flash drive. Peter days that Drew grilled Faison, and nothing came from it. The officer comes back, saying the office is almost cleared for reentry. They never found the bullet, so if the staff comes across it… Peter says they’ll be the first call.

Nelle goes to Sonny’s house. She tells Michael she’s glad he’s there for this. She tells Carly she wants to apologize. She lost her temper. Carly admits she was out of line too. Nelle says all is forgiven. She knows she caused everyone pain, and wants to make it up. Carly says it’s not necessary, and Nelle says she thought of the perfect way.

Sonny tells Mike that Caruso called with some concerns, and asks if Mike is a bag man; it’s what Rita told him. He says it’s a bad idea, but Mike asks how he’s supposed to get job at his age, and with his history? Caruso called with an offer, and he took it. Sonny asks what kind of trouble he’s in, and Mike asks if Sonny is checking up on him. Sonny says guys came by looking for ten grand that wasn’t delivered. What happened to the money?

Peter tells the officer that maybe the gun misfired; he doesn’t know much about firearms. He wonders if he should add that to his statement, and the officer says he’ll be in touch. When he’s gone, Jason says he didn’t know about the missing bullet. Peter says that man had a badge, and Jason doesn’t. If he has any further questions, he needs to call for an appointment. Jason says he’ll have Sam set it up.

Doc tells Franco that any root causes, besides the tumor have to be differentiated. Franco says he’s getting married this month, and Doc says he can’t rush the process. Franco asks if Doc told that to Ryan. Doc says his brother was the victim of sex abuse at the hands of their mother, and it caused his psychosis. He died before he could be healed. He thinks Franco can be healed too, if he isn’t already. He’s already proven he can be helped by coming there. There’s hope for him to be happy yet, and Doc wants to prove it.

Sam sees Jason at Aurora, and they soap gaze at each other before the commercial. Sam tells Jason that Drew wants to look for the flash drive. She’d suggested they work with him, but Drew disagreed. Jason says she can ask him anything anytime. Sam says Drew wants them to do it alone, and she’s not going behind his back. He thinks they could go farther if they shared information. She says he likes working with Sonny and Spinelli, and Drew likes working with her. She wishes they would treat each other like the brothers they are, but doesn’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon. They’re Danny’s parents. That’s never going to change, but outside of that, she doesn’t think they’ll be seeing much of each other. She tells him to take care. He gives her a puzzled look, and tells her she knows where to find him if she needs him. He walks away, and she sighs. It’s catching.

Peter tells Drew there’s something he should know. Drew’s brother came see him. He wanted answers about Faison. He has no idea why Jason came to him. He never laid eyes on Faison before that night.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he took her advice and saw Doc; they just had a session. Doc thinks he can help, and there might be hope for him after all. She says she knows there is.

Ava asks how Griff is; she knows last night was rough. He says he’s hanging in there. She asks if there’s anything she can do, and he says she’s doing it. She’s exactly what he needs. They kiss.

Mike can’t believe Sonny thinks he stole money. He says he takes his job seriously. Sonny asks where the $10K is, and tells Mike to admit. He’ll take care of it. Sonny thinks it’s just the tip of the iceberg, and the last thing he wants to hear is that Mike is dead on the street. He asks how much Mike owes, and Mike says he’s nothing but an obligation to Sonny. Sonny asks what happened, but Mike says he doesn’t know.

Michael tells Nelle that she doesn’t have to do anything. She says she came up with an idea everyone will love. She’s decided whether it’s a boy or girl, she’ll name the baby Morgan.

No preview, but at least George Stephanopoulos waited until the actual show was over to tell us about the DOW plunge. He claims Wall Street veterans saw this coming. Please, so did I. And so did anyone who pays attention. That’s how it works.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi and James meet with Lisa. She asks if they’re ready for tomorrow. It’s her inauguration for being the new editor and chief at Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine. She wants it to be a beautiful night, and go without a hitch. Stassi assures her it will go perfectly. Lisa says it had better, or she’ll be the one looking like an idiot. James tells her that he can handle both parties, since his weekly DJ gig is the same night. After Lisa leaves. Stassi tells James he can bring his boyfriend if he wants. He tells her to shut up, and says that Raquel is pissed.

Schwartz and Tom meet with MJ, the dude who did their suits for the wedding. The triplets are thirty, and live at home with mom in Florida. Tom wants to do a more extensive makeover than he did for the wedding. Schwartz says Katie has gone from tequila Katie to chamomile tea Katie, and she’s being cool about them staying at their place. In her interview, Katie says she’s trying to be a supportive wife.

Billie Lee meets Stassi at SUR. Her podcast, Straight Up with Stassi, is still a priority, and she thinks Billie would be an incredible guest. Billie just had her nails done, and says the girls had some words about Stassi, and told her to be careful. We see Ariana saying Stassi takes pride in being ignorant, and basically calling her a racist. Stassi tells Billie to listen to the podcast in question – about the Academy Awards speeches being political in talking about race, but as though only African Americans were affected. We hear a clip, and she wonders why there are no mentions of Asians, Latinos, or Native Americans? Apparently, she got a lot of flak for the episode, and was called all kinds of names. I dunno. Sounds like a legitimate question to me. She says ignorant she can accept, but she’s not anti-anyone, unless you’re an a-hole. She gets teary, saying it’s serious to say about someone. Billie says it’s not her perception of Stassi. Stassi removes her eyelashes, and Billie lights some sage. True story. A million years ago, when I was going home from work and taking the subway at 42nd Street, this African American dude dressed in Muslim garb asked me for a dollar. I was polite, but told him no, and he said, “I hate white people.” I told him that I didn’t hate anyone – except a-holes, implying he was one. That’s still my stance.

Katie blows up the air mattress, and talks to the dogs about the triplets coming, saying she’s outnumbered. Tom wants to teach the triplets about building a good foundation with fashion. Good luck with that. Katie tells Jax and Tom there was an electrical fire at SUR. Tom says Jeremy kept the fire from spreading until the fire department came. He asks Jax if he’d be sad if SUR burned down, and Jax says, no. Nice.

The triplets arrive. Tom lays some underwear, shoes, and basic clothing on them. He talks about how he made over Schwartz, and Schwartz says it’s the not-so-extreme makeover – triplet edition. Katie doesn’t mind a houseguest for a few nights, but Schwartz better make sure the place isn’t smelling like socks and farts. Jax is ready to get his house back after being blindsided with Brittany’s mom and sister. He says Kristen’s intention was to get at him, not help Brittany out.

Lisa looks things over at SUR. The electrical cupboard shorted out. The flames didn’t reach the restaurant, but the smoke did. She doesn’t think they can open tonight. Stassi says she has people who are willing to work the party, but some won’t. Ariana has to think about it, since Stassi isn’t her boss. Lisa asks what happened, and Stassi starts crying. She tells Lisa about the girls saying she’s closed- minded, and doesn’t care about social issues. In her interview, Lisa says she thinks a lot of things about Stassi, but racism and homophobia aren’t any of them, and she would never tolerate it. She tells Stassi to pull herself together and do her job.

The crew arrives for work. Lisa doesn’t know how, but they’re going to manage James’s party. Part of the restaurant will be closed. She talks about the magazine party, and suddenly Ariana is okay with working. In her interview, Lisa says Ariana and Stassi are always fighting for queen bee position, but if they’d join together, they’d be unstoppable. She tells them that Stassi is speaking for her, and jokes they should call Stassi Miss Schroeder.

The crew prepares for the party. Pandora wonders where Jax and Ariana are. Ariana finally shows. She’s pissed because she thought she was just pouring wine, and actually has to do some work. She complains to Billie and Lala. Stassi is mad at herself for not learning that Jax can’t be counted on, and now she has to bartend.

Giggy! Stassi tells Lisa that Jax isn’t answering his phone. Lisacan’t believe he has the nerve to let her down after the passes she’s given him. Brittany arrives, and says he’s still at home. Lisa calls him an unreliable ass, and Max takes over. Lisa asks Brittany to help Ariana. Brittany says Jax is dragging her down with him.

Billie tells Lala about the podcast. Lala doesn’t think Stassi is ignorant, but she doesn’t think before she speaks. Stassi is proud of herself for not putting her feelings ahead of work. Jax finally rolls in. Lisa says he’s an hour late, and calls him a selfish a-hole. He apologizes, saying it’s okay, and she says it’s not okay. I hate that too, when people say it’s okay when it’s not. In his interview, Jax says it’s just rich people having free drinks, and doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Have I mentioned how much I hate Jax? Lisa tells us that she tries not to lose her temper, but if no one is calling him out for being an a-hole, she’s going to do it. She tells Jax to get lost, and Stassi says he’s the same old unreliable Jax.

Jax whines to the guys that he should be working the party, but showed up thirty minutes late, and got kicked out. (Has he met Dorit?) Schwartz says Jax is always in trouble with something. In his interview, Jax asks what he’s done differently than his friends? They’ve all lied, cheated, and been late to work. Well, for one thing, he’s lived about ten years longer, and should know better. He takes a swig of his beer, and hits his tooth with the bottle. I laugh. Schwartz suggests Jager bombs (ugh! ptooey!), and Jax complains that he’s trying to tell them his feelings.

Mark, the president of the magazine, introduces Lisa as the new editor and chief. She says it’s bittersweet, since Mark’s father passed away two weeks ago. She promises to hold the standard as high as her heels, and will endeavor to take over the reins.

Katie tells Lisa that while she was pouring champagne, Kevin Lee asked her what happened that she gained so much weight, said she needs to work on it, and wouldn’t drop it. Lisa is furious, and wonders if he’s lost his mind. She says it’s never okay for a man to comment in a derogatory way about a woman’s appearance. She tells Katie that she’s gorgeous, and don’t tell her otherwise. Katie starts to cry, and Lisa reminds Katie that she fell through a skylight. We see an old video of Katie, with her jaw wired, talking about falling twenty-five feet and down a flight of stairs. She explains that everything comes into perspective when you cheat death. You can’t help but look at things differently. In her interview, Katie says they could have removed the scar, but it would have erased a monumental moment in her life. Lisa tells her that she went through something crazy, but she’s still her. Katie thanks her, and they hug.

James moves on to the next party, yelling about it to the people he passes on the way. A lot of the group is already there, and the girls who were working the magazine party join them. Jax keeps insisting he was only thirty minutes late. Kristen, Stassi, and Katie sit outside. Katie tells them about Kevin commenting on her weight. In her interview, Stassi wonders who he thinks he is, and if the only attractive body is supposed to be really skinny. Katie says he told her he was shocked at how big she was. BTW, she’s not big by any stretch of the imagination. She tells them if he’d said that last year, with the place she was in, she wouldn’t have been able to take it. In her interview, she says she’s been trying to work on a positive body image, getting in shape, and feeling good. It was a bit of a slap in the face. Kristen says only people who hate themselves say sh*t like that. Kristen is like the voice of reason this time around. Who would have known? Stassi tells them about what Billie said before the podcast, and how she was told she should be scared of Stassi. Like she was only there to trick her. In her interview, Stassi says one good thing about being busy and stressed is that she got to forget, and take a break from feeling sh*tty about herself. She feels mortified, and needs to take her lashes off again.

Jax wishes he could trade places with the triplets. I wish he could too. In her interview, Kristen says Jax only cares about Jax. He tells the table that Kristen is trying to poison his relationship, she’s the fakest bitch ever, and the most annoying person he’s ever met. In her interview, Kristen says she’s a lightning rod for Jax’s hatred. Jax asks Scheana if he got involved in her divorce, and she’s like as a matter-of-fact, he made a few comments. We flash back to him sticking his nose totally into her business. He says his relationship is nobody’s business. At the other table, Brittany tells him to look at her, but he’s on a roll. She goes over, and tells him to calm down. He’s talking about one of her best friends, and she can hear every word he’s saying. He needs to be careful. This isn’t them moving forward and making things better; he’s making things worse. She can hear him screaming, and acting like a lunatic. She thought Kristen bringing her family to her was a great thing to do. He needs to watch his tone, watch what he’s saying, and be respectful toward women. Go, Brittany! Although it’s doubtful he’ll listen. Scheana says that he’s almost forty. He needs to watch his blood pressure. Ha-ha! I’ll bet that hurt worse than anything Brittany had to say.

Tom asks how the magazine party was, and Katie tells the group about what Kevin said. Schwartz says he’s just bitchy. Tom says he’d tell him eff-you. In her interview, Katie says a man should never comment on a woman’s body. She thinks as long as a woman feels good in her own skin and is happy with her body, it shows, and nothing more beautiful. She tells them to have fun, and leaves. She’s replaced by the man glam squad, who comes to give the triplets haircuts. Schwartz thinks it’s a major success, and wants to savor the moment. They get dressed in their new clothes. Schwartz says he’s biased, but you won’t meet sweeter guys. The looks on their faces make him smile. They go out on the town.

Idiot Jax goes to the Kelsey the Reiki master. She asks why he’s so angry? In his interview, he tells us that he’s going to two therapists. We see his talk therapist giving him a startled look when he says something incredibly selfish. He says Kelsey sees the good in him, and it means a lot. She makes him repeat a bunch of stupid stuff about owning his anger, and has him take deep breaths. She asks what was the first thing on his path to destruction, and he says getting into acting. It’s a disgusting life, full of rejection, and when you are picked, you’re just being used. Pretty much like any job, but it can pay a lot more. He says he chose to go down that path, and he owns it. He’s work in progress. Argh! Another buzz-phrase I hate. To her credit, Kelsey says, we all are, and can learn. He can be a better Jax. Jax tells her to call him Jason, which is his real name. In his interview, he says that when he was nineteen or twenty, he started living in a fictitious world. He had to tell stories for people to like him. He wants to know Jason again. He tears up, and Kelsey asks if he feels authentic. He does, and they hug.

Next time, both Ariana and Stassi have a birthday, Lisa talks to Brittany about Jax, Stassi has a murder-themed birthday, and leaves her own party.

🌃 Bethenny and Frederik premieres tomorrow, Tuesday, at 10 pm.

🍗 Weirdness…

What’s the thing with celebrities wanting to dress like Colonel Sanders? Rob Lowe, Ray Liotta, now Reba McEntire joins the club. Is this some kind of fetish? Can it possibly pay that much?

🐓 Retro Colonel

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