Tag Archives: Little Women LA

March 14, 2017 – Olivia-J Meets Her Match, Jim is Cleaned Out While Wyatt is Cleaned Up, Beverly Hills Meets Hong Kong & a Little on Little LA


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Lulu tells Laura that she’s terrified. She thinks the judge might grant custody to Valentin. She thanks Laura for trying to get through to Nina. Laura says she hasn’t given up, and is just getting started.

Franco and Elizabeth get back home. She wants to check on the boys, even though the babysitter said they were sleeping. Franco says that he thought he lost her, but she says he didn’t. He tells her that the only time he feels like the world is okay is when he’s with her. They kiss. Jake has quietly come downstairs and sees them.

Jordan calls for a warrant. Andre walks in. He says he heard about the bomb scare and what happened to her.

Sonny asks Curtis for help.

While cleaning up the glass, Ava tells Carly if she’s done smashing things, she might take note that they have a mutual enemy. But she’s talking to herself; Carly is gone.

Carly goes to Morgan’s grave. She says she finally found out who did this to him, and the mystery is solved. It was Ava’s crazy sister. She tells him that her name is Olivia Jerome, and she’s the reason that Carly lost him forever

Olivia-J says, good-by little brother; you deserved that. Winston hasn’t found Alexis, but Olivia lets it go. She says the poor thing is wearing heels, and it will take her forever to get help. They’ll be long gone by then. She wasn’t able to bring Duke back, but she avenged his death; her work there is done. She tells Winston to have the boat standing by. There’s one last wrong she needs to right and correct her past.

Jake asks Franco and Elizabeth if something happened. He says the babysitter would only let them watch DVDs, and they weren’t allowed to use the internet or watch TV. Elizabeth says something did happen, but everyone is fine. Elizabeth shows him a picture of his new baby sister. Jake says he doesn’t think she’s cursed.

Andre asks Jordan how her head is, and she says hard. She tells him she’ll be fine. He says she just came through a hazardous time. Jordan is surprised when he calls Olivia-J crazy, since he’s a psychiatrist, but he says that he could call her worse.

Sonny asks Curtis if Olivia-J is the one. Curtis says that everything he’s heard is all true and then some. Sonny needs answers. Curtis says he’d be happy to provide all the information he has, but it looks like Sonny is up to speed. Sonny needs to know where to find Olivia, but Curtis can’t help him with that. Sonny asks what he knows about Winston.

Carly tells Morgan that they’ll never be over his death. The choices she’s made since then have been a disaster, and Michael and Josslyn got caught up in the fallout. She could handle it if Morgan was there, but he’s gone. Gone because of Julian and Ava’s crazy sister. She wants justice for him. She says that’s a lie, she wants revenge, and realizes she sounds like Sonny. She says after all this time, she understands him. She tells Morgan that she loves and misses him every second of every day. Olivia-J walks by and says she didn’t mean to intrude. Carly is like, wha….?

Doc joins Laura and Lulu. He says evacuating a psyche ward isn’t easy under the best of circumstances. Laura tells him about Charlotte’s evaluation, and he says it’s standard procedure. Lulu asks if he can make the evaluation, since she’s a complete idiot.

Franco asks Jake what he meant about a curse. Jake says Helena hated Sam, and put a curse on her. He thought she might have cursed the baby too, but maybe she was just saying that and the baby is okay. Elizabeth says curses aren’t real. Franco says Helena was a whack-job, and Elizabeth says she liked to scare people. Jake asks if she was like a witch, and Franco says he’s a letter off. I literally LOL. Franco says maybe Helena believed it, but there’s no such thing. Elizabeth says if Jake remembers anything, he should tell her. He says he only remembers her talking about the curse. All of a sudden, he glazes over a little and says, “Never forget, Jake. Never tell.”

Jordan has to go. Andre says he knows she needs to get back to work, and she says thanks for checking on her. He tells her that they’ve been through too much to be polite.

Curtis tells Sonny that he has no clue as to Winston’s whereabouts, but to let him know if he needs anything. Sonny gets on the phone to Max. He asks if there’s any word, and tells him to stay on it. He can bring in Spinelli if he needs to. If they find Winston, they find Olivia-J.

Olivia-J tells Carly that grief is a private thing, and starts to leave. Carly asks what she’s doing there at this time of night. She has a plaque in her hands, and says she was picking up some artifacts. Carly says she’s not going anywhere; she knows who Olivia is.

Franco asks why Jake said that, but Jake says he didn’t say anything. Franco repeats it, but Jake doesn’t know what it means. Elizabeth asks if he might have overheard Helena. Jake isn’t sure, and says he’s tired. Elizabeth asks if they can talk in the morning, and Jake says if she wants to. Franco takes Jake upstairs, and Elizabeth takes out the book that Helena left her, Jake’s Adventure.

When Franco comes back downstairs, he asks if Elizabeth thinks Jake might have seen the book, but she says no. She thought it was best not to throw it away, but kept it hidden in her locker until after her house blew up, and then she hid it in the new house. Franco suggests maybe there’s a curse on her too, but she says her luck is her own doing. She put it away and out of her mind. She says she knows it hasn’t been touched, which makes the situation more disturbing. Franco reads the end – Never forget, Jake. Never tell. Elizabeth wonders what it means and what Helena did to Jake.

Andre tells Jordan that he knows it was his idea to break up, but he’s missed her. She says she had to face things, and he says he’ll only be a phone call away – as a friend. Curtis comes in with coffee.

Sonny asks Max what he has on Winston

Olivia-J tells Carly that the only thing she knows about Carly is that she should mind her own business. If she keeps pushing, she won’t like the outcome. Carly asks what’s up with the plaque, and Olivia says that Olivia St. John used to be her name. Carly calls her a monster, and Olivia says she makes it sound like she rose from the sea to terrorize Tokyo. She tells Carly that the things on TV are just sensationalism. She knew nothing about a bomb, and the things about Anna were exaggerated. Carly tells her to shut up. She says she only cares about one thing – that Olivia killed her son.

Doc tells Lulu that it’s a conflict of interest, and Valentin’s lawyer would never allow it. Lulu thinks they should use the shooting to their advantage. Doc can say either he does the evaluation or he’ll testify about the shooting. Doc says sorry, not happening. Lulu says she’s desperate. Laura asks if he knows most of the therapists in Port Charles, and if he can ask around to find out who it will be. He says he doesn’t have that kind of access, but it still wouldn’t be right. The therapist has to be impartial. Lulu says nothing about this is impartial. She begs him to find out who it is, and tell them that Charlotte was poisoned against Lulu.

Elizabeth wonders if it’s code for something else. Franco says just because it seems innocuous doesn’t mean it is. They both decide to reread the book. Elizabeth asks Franco if he remembers when Jake first came home; he was insecure and terrified of abandonment. Everything came to a head after Sam fell down the stairs, and now he seems like a normal boy. On the surface, nothing is wrong, but he hasn’t seen the book and he’s reciting from it. Franco says maybe it’s some kind of sign, and Elizabeth says she’s scared that Jake is holding on to a terrible trauma, so bad he blocked it. She doesn’t know where to start. Franco thinks there’s another way.

Jordan has to take a call from Dante. Andre tells Curtis that he heard that he diffused the bomb, and thanks him. Curtis says, but he still doesn’t like him. Andre says he and Jordan had something special, and Curtis blew it apart just because he could, and that’s right, he doesn’t like him.

Winston looks for Olivia-J on the footbridge, but finds Sonny instead.

Olivia-J says, you’re his mother. Carly says his name was Morgan, and she’s standing on the grave of the boy she murdered. Olivia pulls a gun, and Carly calls her crazy. Morgan had his life ahead of him. She stole that and stole Morgan from her, and now Carly is going to make her pay. Olivia says not today. They struggle over the gun, and Olivia gets shot. Carly draws the gun on her and says now we’re going to talk about how you killed my son.

Lulu tells Doc about her horrible mistake in telling Charlotte that she’s her mother. He says it was bad timing, but she told the truth. She says then there was the whole Crimson debacle, and tells Doc about it. She says she hasn’t had a chance to show Charlotte how much she loves her, so no way is Charlotte going to say something good; she hates Lulu. Doc says Charlotte’s feelings will change, but a good therapist will be able to talk to her and see beyond her words. They’ll interpret her actions and emotions, and get at the root of why she feels the way she does, which could work in Lulu’s favor. The therapist is going to know she was kept from Lulu, and she has to trust the system. Lulu says she’s been too focused on what Charlotte will say, rather than what the therapist and the court hears. She thanks Doc for his advice, and leaves for Olivia-F’s place to pick up Rocco.

Laura says she shouldn’t have put Doc on the spot, but she had to ask. He says of course, and she says she has another favor. She needs him to be straight with her.

Curtis tells Andre that he and Jordan aren’t together, and have no romantic intentions, so if he wants to romance her, knock his socks off. Andre says to spare him the attempt of bowing out gracefully. He should have done that at the beginning.  If he bows out now, she’ll think he’s a coward or a player, and Curtis will lose her too.

Ava leaves another message for Sonny, telling him the charges have been dropped and she wants to see Avery. She tells him about Carly storming over. She says she had nothing to do with Morgan’s death, and it’s harmful for Avery not to see her. While she’s wrapping up her tirade, there’s a knock at the door. It’s Jordan. Ava asks if it’s a formal apology. Jordan says no apology, but she needs to speak with her. Ava asks if something happened to Julian, since he’s always getting in trouble, but Jordan is there about Olivia-J. Ava says she may have noticed that Olivia is insane and might go after Julian. She wanted to see him, and was insistent. Jordan asks how Ava knows that, and Ava says she was there.

Sonny asks Winston what his son’s name is. Winston says Morgan. Sonny asks where Olivia-J is. Winston doesn’t know. Sonny tells Winston that he’s useless to him then. It makes him someone who helped Olivia kill Morgan, and what does he think Sonny is going to do with that?

Olivia tells Carly that it was an accident; she was after Julian and she’s sorry. It was Julian’s fault. Carly says she’s blamed him and everyone else, but only one person is responsible – her. Olivia asks what good will it do, but Carly says she doesn’t care about doing good. Nothing she does will bring Morgan back, but she can balance the scales a little by making sure Olivia’s not alive to hurt anyone else.

Laura asks in Doc’s heart of hearts, knowing everything he does, what’s his honest opinion about what will happen. He thinks it can go either way.

Franco tells Elizabeth that they could use art therapy without directly asking questions. Elizabeth says then Jake won’t have the need to evade them. He says Jake won’t know what’s going on, but they might find out what they’re dealing with. He says Jason is the only problem. If he finds out, he might stop it. Elizabeth says that unless there’s something concrete to report, he doesn’t have to know. She needs to know what Helena did to Jake.

Ava tells Jordan that Olivia-J held her at gunpoint and forced her to call Julian. When he got there, Olivia ordered him to go somewhere else. Jordan asks why she didn’t call the police, and  both Ava and I roll our eyes. Ava says they’re biased against her, and she was just released for a crime she had nothing to do with. Jordan asks where Julian and Olivia were meeting, but Ava has no idea.

Sonny tells Winston that he has a lot of influence on the waterfront. When they made arrangements for the boat, he got a call. Winston says he has no idea where she is, but she told him that she had to right one last wrong and correct the past.

Carly asks Olivia-J if she would have listened if she or Morgan begged. Olivia says Morgan was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Carly says now it’s Olivia’s turn. What are the odds she visits Morgan’s grave and finds his killer? She says that some higher power heard her prayer, and she’s not missing out on answered prayer. Olivia says she doesn’t want to do this, but Carly says, yes she does. She really does. We hear a shot.

Tomorrow, Alexis thinks Julian might be dead, Sonny tells Winston that it’s going to get ugly, and Tracy and Monica make a toast.

The Haves and the Have Nots

War backs out of Erica’s room. She asks David to stop, and he asks if she’s all right. She says yes, but he doesn’t think so. He talks about how amazing it feels and that he got carried away. She says he did nothing wrong; it’s just too soon. He asks if there’s something more, like his situation or age. She tells him no. He asks if she wants him to leave, and she thinks that’s best. She just thinks it’s too soon, and they were both drunk. He asks to see her tomorrow and she agrees, thanking him for understanding. This hotel has the Worst. Security. Ever.

David leaves and War pops out of the closet, making me laugh. I’ll bet he’s a funny guy IRL. Usually those super nasty characters are.

War says he hates to see that, and Erica says that David is nothing but a mark. She says she doesn’t get involved in his business, and he repeats that he doesn’t like it. He says she wasn’t answering her phone, and she says she was working. It was Candace’s idea, and they’re going to get four million, not just two. She tells him that Candace didn’t set him up; Mitch did. War says he’s going to kill Mitch. She asks if he wants her to call Candace, but she gets voicemail. Erica leaves a message to call her back. She tells War they’ll get Candace for everything she’s got. War’s phone rings. He says Candace is at the Fountain Drop Hotel, and Erica guesses that’s the best she can do. War says he doesn’t want to see that dude in Erica’s room again, but Erica insists she’s just working.

Candace tells Charles he’s quiet. He asks how much she taped. She says all of it, and she videoed everything too. He asks who is doing this, and she says just her. He says he was warned that his opponent would try something like this, and asks what she wants. She says she’ll let him know. He says it’s sad; it was the one time he let his guard down. She tells him that’s bs; he’s done this before. He’s like most men in power. They take what they like and walk away. Candace says he just messed with the wrong female, and Charles says she just messed up the best situation of her life. He’s a good guy, and didn’t lie, cheat, or deceive to get what he wanted. She applauds, and says he’s going to be fine. He says he won’t be blackmailed. She says that’s not what she wants. She wants him to come back later and wait for her in bed, naked. He says it’s not going to happen, but she says it will. He doesn’t really want power. He wants it in public, but in private, he wants to be submissive. She says he sobered up, and now he’s afraid, so be drunk when he comes back. Before he leaves, Candace tosses the recording to him. He asks if there are copies, and she says maybe. She tells Charles that she’s going to give his boring ass some excitement. He comes to the bed and kisses her.

Commercial break with important information. Too Close to Home will be returning directly after If Loving You is Wrong’s season debut (March 15). Tyler Perry back to back? My head might explode.

Jeffrey messes with his phone, texting, while Melissa lies in bed. He gets a message from the rehab people saying that Wyatt finally called, and one from Justin, apologizing and begging him to talk. Melissa gets up and takes his phone. She asks who Justin is, and why he’s sorry, and wonders why there are no pictures on his phone. She asks what Justin did and why Jeffrey is so angry. She tells him about a guy who treated her like crap, and then texted apologies all night. She says if Justin is like that, dump him. Or is he the jealous type and saw the text about Wyatt? Jeffrey reacts, and she says it’s not going to work. She says if he wants to go, to use her car, since it’s not parked there, and Veronica won’t hear it start. She goes back to bed.

There’s a knock at Wyatt’s door. It’s the people from the rehab. Anna, Joan, and some guy who asks how long he’s been trying to kick it. Joan explains the expense end of it, as Wyatt’s vitals are taken. Anna says he made the right call. She asks if he knows a Jeffrey. He says yes, and she says he’s been calling every two hours. Nameless guy says that Wyatt’s blood pressure is through the roof. He asks when was the last time Wyatt took something, and Wyatt thinks yesterday. Dude asks him to pee in a cup. Anna says he did the right thing, and is in good hands.

Hannah comes back to the room. Benny is sleeping in front of the door to make sure Candace didn’t leave, but she’s gone, so he’s not very good at that. He calls her phone, but Hannah says wherever Candace is, let her stay there. She has to think about Quincy Jr. Benny wants the car keys, and Hannah asks if he killed Quincy. Benny tells her no. She says the cops said two people killed him. He asks why she was talking to them, and she says to tell them where Candace is, to protect her. He asks how that’s protecting her, and Hannah tells him that War is after Candace, and she’s better off in jail. Benny says that War can get to her locked up. Hannah says the police said that a man helped with the murder, and she insists Benny must have done it. She asks why his bracelet was there. Benny asks for the keys again, but Hannah wants answers first. He says he didn’t do anything, but she thinks he’s lying.

Benny calls Mitch. He needs help and a ride. He asks Mitch to pick him up. Mitch says he’s on his way. Hannah tells him not to ask again about the car.

Candace listens to her messages. Jim calls. She says Jim who, and how much did she get from him? He plays along, and she says, oh, hi Jim, and what a surprise. He says he misses her, and she says too bad she doesn’t miss him. She tells him that the money is gone because the bank foreclosed. He asks who told her that he was behind it, and she says it doesn’t matter. He wants to see her. She laughs, and says he must be kidding; she’s not coming anywhere near him. He tells her to name her price. She says ten million. He says escort rate, not blackmail rate. She says she knows he’s trying to set her up. He was a job, and now the job is done. He’s not going to see her. She hangs up.

Mitch comes to the Fountain Drop. Benny tells Mitch that Candace isn’t answering, and to try calling from his phone. Hannah asks if he’s in on it, and if he killed that boy. Mitch says he saw it on the news. He asks Benny what he did, and Hannah says that’s what she’s trying to find out. Hannah slaps Benny around, and he tells her to calm down. She keeps asking what he did. He says he’ll be back, and everything is fine. He and Mitch leave.

Mitch tells Benny he needs some help. He thinks it’s a waste of time looking for Candace, and that Benny should lawyer up. Benny says it’s 3 am, and Mitch says do it anyway. Benny calls Veronica. She says whoever this is must not know the time, which is more polite than I’d be. He says he has a legal situation and needs advice. She acts cagey, and he says if she’s going to help him, fine, but if not, don’t waste his time. She tells him to come over. He tells Mitch this isn’t a good idea. Mitch repeats that he needs help.

Jim wanders around his empty mansion. There’s no furniture or anything else in it. He calls for Kathryn, and she comes downstairs. He asks if they were robbed, and she says she took everything. He says he was right in his office and didn’t hear anything, and she says he wasn’t supposed to. She asked him to leave, he wouldn’t, so she is (and I guess the furniture too). She’s going to sell the house out from under him. He says they need to stick together and this isn’t the answer. She tells him he’s not the answer. She’s done and he needs to leave. If she has to donate the house to charity, she will. She tells him that she’s getting a divorce, and walks out.

Jim calls David. He’s at the bar having a drink (when is last call?), and Jim asks where. Jim tells him Kathryn just walked out with everything. She had one of the quietest moving crews ever, and took it all while he was in his office. He says he’s on his way – if he still has a car. They can celebrate his divorce.

Jeffrey sees a car outside. Melissa asks who it is, and he tells her to mind her business. She tells him she’s a person too, and has feelings. Melissa’s mother calls and the doorbell rings. Veronica answers the door. It’s Benny. She tells him he needs to apologize before anything else, and he says he’s sorry. She says it must be something for him to call in the middle of the night. He says he has a friend who didn’t murder anyone, but buried the body. She asks where. He says the backyard, but he forgot something when he buried it. She asks if they’re talking about Quincy, and Benny says yes. Veronica asks if the friend murdered him, and he says no, just buried him. She says the first thing he needs to do is take off his clothes. Benny says he’s not doing this. She says he can help himself by having his way with her. He tells her never mind; he doesn’t know why he came here. She asks if he’s sure, and keeps asking as he leaves.

This is one busy town at 3 am.

Benny tells Mitch they shouldn’t have come and let’s get out now. He says he asked for help and she wanted sex. I think Mitch is a little flabbergasted that Benny doesn’t think this is a good idea.

Veronica goes back upstairs. She sees Jeffrey and asks if he shouldn’t be asleep. He asks if she shouldn’t be ashamed, and she says no; she’s heterosexual. She tells him to go to bed with Melissa. She tells him that Benny just gave himself and Candace up; he might go free after all. Jeffrey says his keys were there, and Veronica calls it a minor detail.

Jeffrey goes back in the bedroom. He says he’s not sleeping in the chair, and don’t touch him in the bed. Melissa comes out of the bathroom and gets back in bed. She tells him that her father died. He says too bad; he wants to go to sleep. She starts to cry. He asks if she wet the bed, but when he pulls the covers back, there’s blood all over the place. She’s slit her wrists.

Benny and Mitch come back to the hotel. Mitch tells Hannah that they can’t find Candace. Hannah says they won’t, unless she wants to be found. She says she asked her boss to find them a lawyer, and Kathryn is calling in the morning. Hannah wants to know what Benny did. Mitch says he buried the body. She asks if Benny killed Quincy, and Mitch tells Benny to answer. Benny says when he got to the house, Quincy was already dead. It was Candace and Jeffrey. Hannah says no way, and she thinks Candace is lying. She says that Candace doesn’t even know Jeffrey. Suddenly, the door busts open. It’s War and his crew.

A huge fight happens. Lots of punching and kicking and throwing, and Hannah yelling stop it. War pulls out a gun, and they all start shooting. Then they all run. Mitch and Benny come out from under the bed. Hannah comes out of the bathroom with Quincy Jr. He’s been shot.

This was the season finale, so no preview.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Harrison! Giggy! LisaV is packing for Hong Kong. She hasn’t been there in eighteen years. She tells Ken that he’s lucky she’s only bringing three bags, unlike Erika, who packs enough for ten people.

Erika is also packing, and needs three people just to help her. They go through a lookbook of outfit ideas. At the same time, Dorit manages to put her own outfits together. She’s very familiar with Hong Kong, having worked in a business where she went there every six weeks.

LisaR shows her dog, Lola, the accessories she’s bringing. She says sometimes it comes to this. She’s only going for a couple of days because she has to be back for a QVC gig. She tells Lola that she’s going for Lola’s people, and Lola walks away. Typical dog. Long story short. I was being interviewed for a TV program at my house years ago. The cameraman suggested I pick up my dog, Juliet, and give her a kiss. I thought this was Juliet’s chance to be a star, but instead, she tried to bite me on the nose.

Dorit picks up LisaV for the airport. Lots of dogs! Lisa kisses all the babies, and Ken, good-by. Schnooky wants to come along, and Lisa misses them already.  I identify. After Juliet had puppies, the first time I went out for the day all I did was think about them. Dorit wonders who she’ll be sitting next to on the flight. They go through various seatmates and how they would feel about them.

Erika wonders what everyone was thinking with their outfits, since it’s a fifteen-hour flight. She’s wearing a sweat suit because she knows the real deal. It’s nap time.

The plane is super cool, and Eileen is the only one who stays awake. I’d be playing with all the buttons and ordering champagne.

Fastest. Plane. Ride. Ever. We’re in Hong Kong. The Shangri-La hotel manager greets the ladies. No surprise, it’s fabulous. LisaV is in the presidential suite, which she calls cute. Fruit baskets and sundries abound.

The ladies meet for drinks. Erika is wearing a forties look, with her hair like one of the Andrews Sisters, and wearing what looks like a peignoir with marabou feathers on the cuffs. She’s seated next to Dorit. In her interview, Dorit says the harder she tries to be nice, the colder Erika gets. Eden talks about her online squeeze kindred spirit, who she’s meeting in NYC. She says it’s her treat and the women are like, no and no. Eden says that maybe he could be an ax murderer, but so could she.

LisaV talks about the documentary. She tells the women that if they want to come, that’s fine, but she’s not pressuring anyone because it could be depressing. Kyle says she can’t see anymore, and I won’t see to begin with. Dorit tells Lisa that they’re all supportive, and Lisa starts to cry. In her interview, Eileen says she’s willing to see LisaV in a different light because she can understand where she’s coming from.

LisaR wonders what to do with her chocolate tower, and Eileen thinks they should just eat it. Seriously. What is she going to do? Try to save it? Try taking that through customs. A window cleaner comes by, and we flash back to the diver who Eileen awoke to in Dubai. Dorit comes by. Eileen says she’s going with LisaV, and Dorit decides to come along. LisaR is going to the highest point in Hong Kong with Eden. In her interview, she says she’s willing to give Eden a second chance.

Kyle meets with LisaV, who’s main objective is to do what she needs to do without acting like a blubbering idiot. Kyle is doing some sightseeing. They talk about how beautiful it is. Eileen is suddenly on the phone. She tells Lisa that she wants to join her, but knows how personal it is and doesn’t want Lisa to be uncomfortable. Lisa tells her to please come, and they make plans to meet downstairs. Kyle says she’ll be holding down the fort at Chanel. Lisa is surprised at Eileen’s call, and Kyle says Eileen can be really nice if she’ll give her a chance.

LisaR talks to Dorit about the night at Eden’s when she pulled out her bag of drugs pills supplements. She wants to make sure that Dorit is clear that it was a joke, and she doesn’t have a problem. Dorit says she’s certain that if she talked about it to anyone, it was in relaying a funny moment. She says she’d never insinuate that Lisa had a drug problem, and asks who said it. Lisa says it was during a conversation in Mexico, and Dorit says she would like to confront the person. Lisa backtracks and says no one told her, she just had a sixth sense about it. In her interview, Dorit says that doesn’t make sense. She wonders why Lisa hasn’t said anything up until now. Lisa tells her to go to everyone she was with that night, and see if anyone twisted what she had to say. Way too complicated for what it is.

Kyle and Erika walk around a gorgeous park that has Koi ponds and all kinds of fountains. Eden and LisaR get into an elevator car that takes you to the highest point in Hong Kong. It’s really cool looking! Even the car is cool, like an old-fashioned trolley with wooden seats.

LisaV tells Eileen that she’s trying not to be a wimp and crying about the dogs all the time. They arrive at the studio where the documentary is being made. Lisa explains how she started to get involved. One of the guys talks about how much they’ve done so far. Eileen wants to understand more about the cause. They show part of the documentaries, and talk about how the dogs are tortured to “make the meat more tender.” Lisa is pleased with the film so far. Lisa says hopes to achieve momentum and support. She does a voiceover about how she has eight dogs that she worships. In her interview, Eileen says she thinks this is the beginning of a different understanding between them. Every time I even think about the dog meat trade, I get infuriated and depressed. The Wicked Witch of the West said it best, “What a world! What a world!”

Erika suggests she and Kyle shop for jade. In her interview, Erika says usually kids who grow up in the business turn out to be a-holes, but Kyle is a cool chick. She tells Kyle about her visit home, and how her mother apologized for being hard on her as a kid. She says it was unexpected, but appreciated. A lot of her mother’s dreams were unrealized, and she placed them on Erika. She says it’s hard for a kid to handle. Kyle talks about a psychic she saw, who told her that her mother said she wasn’t responsible for her sister Kim, and how she’s a good mom. Kyle gets weepy, and in her interview, says her mother acknowledged the mistakes she’d made. They talk about how a mom can get under your skin the way no one else can. Kyle says there was a lot of pressure on them to be perfect, but we all make mistakes. Erika says the way she was treated as a child has carried over into the way she treats others; she waits for them to critique her.

Eden and LisaR eat in a café way up in the air. Lisa still feels unsettled about her talk with Dorit. She tells Eden about it. She thinks someone is turning what happened at Eden’s house into Lisa having a problem. Eden says she was asked about it – by Dorit. We flash back, but it wasn’t quite like that. Lisa says she thinks everyone knew about it except her. Eden says go to the source and Lisa says she did, but the source is a wimp.

Erika’s glam squad goes to work on her. She talks about her previous trips to Hong Kong.

The ladies meet for a junk boat trip. I have no clue what that is. Everyone is super dressed up, which makes me confused. Oooh! It’s so pretty! It’s an old-fashioned small ship. This is freaking cool. Inside the ship, it’s more modern, with padded bench style seats, tiny lanterns, and alcohol. Dorit decides now is the time to bring up what LisaR said to her. She wants to know who said that she thought Lisa had a drug problem. Lisa says nobody told her that, and asks what the conversation in Mexico was about. It gets convoluted at this point, because everyone is talking all at once and vaguely. Dorit says Lisa is talking out of two sides of her mouth, either she was surprised or she wasn’t. To top it off, the picture and sound on my TV are periodically breaking up, making it even harder to understand. I think that, as usual, a bigger deal is being made out of something to get a story out of it.

Eden says it came to her that when Dorit was at her house, she’d asked if Lisa had a problem with pills. Dorit says she doesn’t remember saying that. There’s a lot of that going around on these shows. In her interview, LisaV wonders if LisaR is paranoid, and says that paranoia can be brought on by pills. BA-DUM-CHH! LisaR tells Dorit to be honest, and she says she is. Nothing was said about her having a problem, and Dorit never thought she did. In her interview, LisaR says the problem is that Dorit is talking behind her back. Kyle doesn’t think Dorit was inferring there was a problem. Dorit says it wasn’t like she was saying Lisa was a drug addict, but Erika says she implied it. Dorit says she’d said they were joking around, and Erika says she did, but why did she bring it up if she didn’t think it was part of Lisa’s behavior? LisaV doesn’t remember LisaR’s behavior being a topic of conversation. Dorit complains about Erika talking over her, when normally she hardly says anything. Erika says that she says important sh*t, while Dorit says boring sh*t, and a lot more of it. Dorit asks what Erika’s issue is with her, and Erika claims not to have one. I dunno about that after what she just said. Dorit says Erika is the only one she hasn’t made even a small connection with, and Erika says that’s because she doesn’t like bs and that’s what Dorit is all about. Dorit asks Erika why she didn’t just say that, and Erika says she just did.

Next time, LisaR tells Dorit not to threaten her, more high up stuff, a giant Buddha, and Erika breaks down. Good. I was liking her a little more after her trip back home, but I think her animosity toward Dorit is uncalled for. I think Dorit is ditzy and has no filter, but I don’t think she comes from a bad place.

🏝 A note on Little Women: LA. After reaching her goal of being in the final five, Terra was cut from Dancing with the Stars. Husband Joe was glad to have her back, but her schedule is still crazy, and includes surgery on several hernias. This woman makes me feel embarrassed that my idea of accomplishment is getting to bed at a decent hour, and I can’t even do that. I love Terra’s husband too – he’s so laid back. She does get irritated at him for taking too many things as a joke, but the bottom line is that he’s totally supportive of her. The girls also did an insane workout (minus Terra), where they were suspended on harnesses. It looked like a lot of fun, although Tonya said it wasn’t a workout, it was crazy white people’s sh*t.  Elena seemed a little unreasonable, crying to husband Preston that Terra promised that when she was done with DWTS, their friendship would be back to normal, and Terra hadn’t called yet. I doubt when she said that, that Terra predicted they would have a huge fight before she was eliminated. At least Elena recognizes her desire to tell Terra “I told you so” about her health, and that it’s the wrong thing to say. I’ve had to resist that urge myself on more than one occasion. Believe me, they’re well aware that you were right. And it’s like waiting for the other shoe to fall. 👠

💤 Tuesday TV is exhausting. 💤



March 7, 2017 – Olivia-J Recreates Duke, Candace Nails Her Mark, Erika Goes Home, a Little LA & Upcoming Shows


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Diane tells Lulu they don’t want to overplay their hand. Nina’s absence at the hearing will speak volumes.

Nora tells Valentin that she wouldn’t be a good lawyer if she misrepresented his chances. She asks if he and Nina could put aside their personal differences for Charlotte’s sake.

At Crimson, Laura tells Nina that she has nothing against her; they have a lot in common. She’s lost years of her life too. Nina asks why she’s there, and Laura says she thinks she knows a way they can both get what they want.

Jordan comes to the hospital and asks where Julian is.

Julian tells Anna that Olivia-J wants GH, and passes out. Andre and Jordan come in. Anna tells them that Olivia is alive, and did this to Julian. Jordan says she promises they’ll get to the bottom of it, but let them do their job. Anna says Olivia is in the hospital somewhere, and they can’t let her escape.

Griff wakes up strapped to a table. Olivia says she knew that bump on the head wouldn’t keep him down long; he’s just like his father. She tells him that she’d explain if there was time, but they’ve been found out. He says he knows who she is, and she tells him that she’s Olivia Jerome, the person he’s going to spend the rest of his life with. Great.

Diane tells Lulu that she brought the social worker’s report, and it will present the kind of parents they’ll be for Charlotte. Lulu tells Dante what a great dad he is. She wonders what’s holding up Laura.

Laura says it’s clear that Nina and Charlotte love each other. Nina says if Valentin gets custody, that’s not a problem. Laura says she heard they were having issues; Maxie texted her. Laura thinks Nina is questioning what she knows about Valentin.

Nora asks Valentin if they have Nina’s support. He says she’s accepted certain truths about his life, but is becoming increasingly uneasy with them. Nora says that it’s better that Nina not be there at the beginning, rather than disappearing later, and Valentin says he told her not to come unless she’s in it for the long haul. Nora says where she comes from, that’s called an old tomato ultimatum, and never ends well.

Lucas talks to Alexis about Sam. She can’t believe that she came so close to losing Sam and Scout, and that she’d almost started to believe Julian. Lucas is shocked that Olivia is back. Alexis hopes that she’s far away. Valerie comes out of the elevator, and asks them to come with her.

Julian says Fred Gray botched it. Jordan asks if Gray was working with Olivia-J, but Julian says he’s the one who brokered the deal. Anna wonders why Olivia would come back to GH. Jullian tells her that Olivia wants what’s underneath it.

Griff asks where he is. Olivia-J says they don’t have time for questions, but they’re under the hospital, and he’s as exhausting as Robin. He asks where Robin is, and Olivia says she’s safe. She marvels at his resemblance to Duke, and asks if Duke ever talked about her. He tells her that he never met his father, and found out about him through Anna, and Olivia says her name is not to be spoken. She lights a candle, and asks if he feels something. She says it must be hard to work here with his father’s soul locked in the walls. Griff says his father’s soul is at peace. Olivia says she heard him cry out for vengeance and justice, but he got none of those things. His soul is locked in GH’s walls. He won’t be free of this mortal coil unless she helps him to get a new life. He needs a vessel to return to, and because of Griff, he has one.

Valentin tells Nora that Nina is passionate and compulsive. She’s angry with him, and not without reason. He doesn’t want her to do something impulsive at the hearing, and says she should stay at the office. Nora says they can work with that, and spins it to make Nina a role model. He says Nora really is the best, but Nora says she’d feel better if Nina was beside him in court.

Nina says that Laura knows nothing about Valentin, her, or their marriage, and not to disrespect her in her office. Laura says she knows about the Cassadines, but Nina says that Valentin didn’t grow up with them. Laura says maybe it’s genetic, and they all use secrets as currency. She asks if Valentin left Nina in the dark about something, and Nina says it’s none of her business. Laura says maybe things will work out or maybe one day Nina will wonder who’s she’s sleeping next to. If they split up, she’ll never see Charlotte again. If Lulu gets custody, she’ll make sure Nina is in Charlotte’s life. Nina asks what she has to do in return.

Griff says Olivia-J is insane, and Olivia says she’s tired of hearing that. He says Duke is dead, and she can’t bring him back. She insists that she can bring back the love of her life. She lights a candle, and says when the flame goes out, Duke has returned. Griff says he knows she loved him, and it’s hard to accept. She wants him to drink some forgetfulness cleansing tea. She says some call it a metaphor, but they need to cleanse his body like a factory reset, so Duke’s soul can return. He says he’s not drinking it. She puts a funnel in his mouth. I have to laugh because it all looks so silly.

Anna asks Julian what he means about underneath the hospital. Andre says there’s a chance he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He asks if Olivia-J was ever a psyche patient, and Anna says yes, about a thousand times. Andre thinks her file might be of use, and asks Jordan to confer. He tells Anna she’s in no position to be playing super spy. She tells him that she’s the most qualified, and he says she’s also the most vulnerable because of being on blood thinners. Jordan says Olivia won’t get away. Anna says she doesn’t answer to Jordan, and Andre asks her not to do anything reckless.

Olivia-J tells Griff to relax. She says he’s a good son, giving his father a second chance to live. Duke would be proud. She tells him it will be over before he knows it, and takes out a scalpel.

Valerie tells Alexis that there’s a threat. Anna joins them, and tells her about Julian being attacked by Olivia-J, and that they think she’s still in the hospital. Alexis stomps off to find Julian. Anna tells Lucas about how Olivia wants what’s underneath the hospital. He tells her Tony was blackmailed into working in Helena’s lab under the hospital, but he figured the fire destroyed the lab. Anna deputizes him (sort of), and says Olivia wants Helena’s lab.

Valentin comes into the courtroom, and Diane tells Lulu to focus. Nora tells Valentin to stay calm and stable. Diane is a master at innuendo and rumor, and passing it off as fact. She tells him not to take the bait when she slings dirt. Diane tells Lulu to let Nina’s absence to speak for itself.

Laura tells Nina that neither Lulu or Valentin seem to be more qualified than the other. Nina says that Charlotte loves Valentin, and Lulu scares her. Laura asks her to testify that her marriage is a sham. Nina says it might be shaky right now, but her marriage is real. Laura says they’re already fighting, and asks if Nina is confident that their marriage can withstand Valentin getting Charlotte and not needing her anymore. Nina says that Laura is playing with her feelings. Laura admits she is, but nothing she’s said is a lie. Nina says Valentin has done nothing to hurt her, and Laura wants her to stab him in the back. Laura says she’s in control, not him. She can testify on his behalf or tell the truth and still keep Charlotte in her life. She asks Nina to think about it for Charlotte’s sake, and hopes she sees Nina in court.

Alexis bursts into Julian’s room.

Andre looks over Olivia-J’s hospital files. He says she was sent to Ferncliff after her dead brother tried to kill her. She was briefly in a coma, and reverted to a childlike state when she woke up. According to the notes, she believed she was a seven or eight-year-old. Andre says it can be a psychosis that’s a response to an emotional trauma where the mind retreats from reality. The person can’t process particular pain or loss, and latches onto a fantasy.

Anna goes to the hospital basement. She sees Olivia-J’s fingerprints by the secret door and opens it. Olivia drips Griff’s blood onto the candle flame. She talks to Duke, saying she’s prepared a vessel for him, and he has to choose to live again. The door opens, but it’s not Duke, it’s Anna.

Laura gets to the court just in time. Lou Judge Rawles asks for opening statements. Lulu goes first. Blah-blah-blah daughter I didn’t know about blah-blah feelings blah-blah a mother’s connection. Zzzzzzzz…. Wake me when it’s Valentin’s turn. Lulu says she can offer Charlotte a stable home and a brother who adores her (really? I don’t think they’ve been in the same vicinity more than twice), and a loving father. She asks for full custody.

Anna says, so she is alive. Olivia-J says it wouldn’t be a reunion for her and Duke without Anna crashing the party. Olivia holds up the scalpel, and says Duke is coming back. She’s found a body to house his soul, and unless Anna wants them both to be lost, she’ll put the gun down.

Alexis says if Julian hadn’t been such a tool, her granddaughter wouldn’t have been born in the cold. Julian gets sappy about having a new grandchild, but Alexis says he’s not going anywhere near her.

Anna puts down the gun. She tells Olivia-J not to hurt Griff, but Olivia says don’t tell her what to do. They struggle over the scalpel. Of course it has to be a scalpel.

Nina looks at the picture from Charlotte.

Valentin talks about how neither he nor Lulu were willing participants in the embryo implantation, but when he found out he had a child brewing, he found a surrogate. He was in the delivery room when Charlotte was born, and was with her for all her firsts. He’s already established that Charlotte knows and loves him, and he’s been the one constant in her life. He says Lulu is attached to idea of Charlotte in the abstract “my daughter,” but doesn’t know her as a person. She’s not a possession. She’s a beautiful little girl who needs stability and constancy. This is Charlotte’s life and childhood, and her needs are more important than his or the Falconaris’.

Anna and Olivia-J struggle over the scalpel.

Valerie says everyone is accounted for except Griff. Jordan says he’s Duke’s son.

More struggle. Anna tells Olivia-J to stop before someone gets hurt. Olivia says that Duke is coming for her, not Anna, and she’s going to make sure she’s dead this time. She throws Anna down, but Anna kicks her. Olivia slashes at Anna with the scalpel, and one or both of them flash back to when they were younger. (And so was I – sob!) Olivia tells Anna that she’s bleeding, and she is. A lot.

Diane presents the social worker’s report, and the judge wants a quick break to read it. Nora also has affidavits for her. Lulu says she almost believed Valentin’s statement. Diane tells her to focus on what they’re presenting; any character witness can swing things either way. Nina walks in.

Alexis asks Julian if it was his idea for Olivia-J to be her sponsor. Lucas comes in, and Julian says it wasn’t like that, and he has a lot to tell her. She tells him to save it; she’s done with him. She’s going home to throw the safe deposit key in the trash.

The candle goes out, and Griff wakes up with a start, startling me. Olivia whacks Anna a good one, and she’s out. Griff breaks the straps like he’s the Hulk.

Jordan wants the hospital swept. She goes to Julian’s room and says they think Olivia-J is targeting Griff. She asks Julian about the basement, and he says that Olivia has Anna.

Olivia-J is about to shoot Anna when Griff appears. Olivia asks, could it be? and Griff says, it’s him – Duke.  I gotta say, Griff looks super-hot, and I would swear he was really Duke come back from the dead if I didn’t think he was just trying to get the better of Olivia. Or is Duke really back? There were vampires in Port Charles at one time…

Tomorrow, Carly threatens Nelle, Nina tells the truth, and Olivia-J tells Griff that Anna has to die.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Hannah tells the desk sergeant that her daughter is Candace Young, and the sergeant asks her to wait there.

Rookie tells Justin he’s sorry for shooting at Jeffrey. Justin says they were just goofing around. Rookie says it looked like Jeffrey had gotten the best of him, and didn’t know Jeffrey was his friend. Justin insists Jeffrey isn’t his friend confusing all of us. Justin says he’ll squelch the report, so Rookie doesn’t get in trouble. The desk sergeant comes to get Justin, who apparently runs the police department.

Justin approaches Hannah. He asks if she knows where Candace is. She says she does, and he asks where. She asks how Candace is going to be arrested. Justin asks if she has weapons. Hannah doesn’t think so, and he says they’ll just ask her to come with them. She says she has Candace’s son, her grandson, and doesn’t want him to see her get arrested. Justin says they’ll do their best, and asks if Hannah can entice her outside. Hannah says she’ll try, but she wants to be sure. Justin promises they’ll wait for her to come outside to take her into custody. Hannah gives him the hotel and room number. She asks if he can wait until Quincy Jr. is on the school bus. He asks who she is to Candace, and Hannah tells him that she’s Candace’s mother. He asks if she knows how Quincy Maxwell died. She says she doesn’t, and Justin says he was stabbed over 40 times. Hannah tells him to look up Quincy’s record. Justin asks about Quincy and Candace’s relationship. Hannah says he was violent, and if she did anything, it was probably in self-defense. Hannah starts to get defensive herself.

Justin says there had to be more than one assailant. The medical examiner thinks there might have been a man involved, and he asks if Hannah can think of anyone. Hannah says she can’t, and Justin gives her his card. He says they don’t even have a warrant yet, so they’ll be waiting for her call. He tells her she did the right thing.

After Hannah leaves, Justin calls Jeffrey. Jeffrey doesn’t answer.

Charles tells Candace that he doesn’t know if he really wants the presidency. She says it’s POTUS, and asks if he knows how many men and women have dreamt of that. He says it can be stifling, and the bubble is small. He grew up in Detroit by way of Tennessee, and it’s debilitating. He loves politics, but not the Whitehouse. Not without his wife, raising his kids alone. He says he’s a good guy, and Candace says her chief-of-staff will hook him up.

Charles says he’s going to be president, and can’t sleep with a woman he just met. Candace says he’s single and they like each other, so what’s up with that? He repeats that he can’t. She asks if it’s the bubble or his wife. He says he was with his wife for fifteen years and doesn’t know how to do this. He says Candace seems bored, and she asks if he likes strong women. He says he does, and calls her beautiful, but he can’t do this. Candace says what if she told him she wasn’t interested in ever letting anyone know? He says he’s heard that before, and then it’s used against you. She asks what about her reputation, and he asks how he would ruin it. She says she’s worked for everything she has, and wouldn’t want to waste it. She wants people to know she worked to get where she is, so she’s not interested in ever letting this moment be known. He asks if she promises. She does, and he says he finds her impossible to resist. She says most men do.

She tells him to stop thinking and just be Charles for an hour or two. They start to make out. She leads him to the bed. Where there’s a bunch of crap. You might want to clean that off. They get busy in the middle of all the papers and books and stuff. Ow!

Jeffrey reads the texts from Justin, telling him how the police think more than one person was involved in Quincy’s murder. Veronica asks if she needs to take the phone away, and tells him to get in the room. He goes in and sits on the bed. Melissa comes out in lingerie. Jeffrey says that does nothing for him and she says it was Veronica’s idea.

Candace and Charles bask in the afterglow. Jeffrey leaves a message for Candace to call him back.

Melissa asks Jeffrey what’s going on; he seems bothered. He says she’s why he’s bothered, and she asks what’s really going on. She can tell there’s something else. He says he got in a fight. She asks if it was bad, and he asks if she’s acting like she cares. She says she’s not acting, but forget it. She asks if the officer outside was the lover who pissed him off, and by the body language, it seemed like something casual between them. He says yes, Justin is his lover and they just had sex and it was good. He goes on about it, but Melissa is unfazed. Jeffrey continues with TMI, and she rolls her eyes.

Veronica walks in and asks, what happened then? She heard him telling his story, so finish. Melissa tries to intervene, but Veronica says she’s not talking to her; she wants to know how low Jeffrey can go. She tells him, you work, Miss Thing, and he says she’s been drinking. She brings up Jeffrey testifying, and tells Melissa that he’s done all kinds of things to her, including putting a knife in her chest. She says he doesn’t understand she’ll always be here. She doesn’t know what was going on between him and Officer Too Friendly, but this is his future.

Melissa says if Jeffrey wants to be with a man, he should. Veronica starts laughing. She says Melissa is bought and paid for, and it’s not to think. She tells Jeffrey not to see that man again. He says he’s done, and she needs to let this go. He tells her to go to bed and sleep it off. She says she’s not afraid of him, and he calls her sick. She says she’s not trying to hurt him: she’s trying to make his life better. He says, by locking him up? She begs him to try a few more times. She’s giving him freedom, and he needs to honor it. She says enough disgusting talk, and asks Melissa what she thinks. Melissa says she doesn’t think. Veronica tells Jeffrey to enjoy his future wife.

Melissa apologizes to Jeffrey. She puts her hand on his shoulder and he tells her move. She says she’s sorry for everything, and for him being involved, and starts to cry. She says Veronica should be asleep by now, and he can leave; she’ll cover for him. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want her to do anything for him ever. Melissa says it’s wrong the way Veronica is treating him and holding her father over her head. She has Melissa the way she has Jeffrey. Her father worked hard his whole life, and she thought she could help. It seemed like a way out, but it’s deeper in. Jeffrey says he can’t go to jail.

She asks what he did, and he says murdered someone. She says with Veronica as a mother, she’s surprised he’s not a serial killer. She realizes he’s telling the truth, and he says she should be afraid of him. She says death doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea, and asks why he did it. He says he was being pushed. She asks if he’s being pushed now. He says yes, and he snapped. Melissa says she just needs enough money to take care of her dad. Veronica will be asleep on the couch soon. He says he’s not doing anything to his mom, and Melissa says she just meant if he wanted to see his friend, but he has to be back by 4 am, since she comes upstairs like clockwork. She tells Jeffrey good-night.

Oscar calls Jim. He has Wyatt’s address, and Jim says they used to own the building. Oscar says it will be hard to find out where the money is offshore, but he’s working on it. Jim is impressed. Jim calls George and says he’ll help him trap Candace in exchange for one thing. George says he’ll give him all the photos. Jim says that If he does this, he wants it over.

Jim looks outside and calls to Kathryn. He asks if Hannah has Amanda’s car. Kathryn says she gave it to her. Jim wonders what’s going on with the two of them.

Kathryn goes out to the car. Hannah tells her that she needs a criminal lawyer. Kathryn asks what she’s done now, but Hannah says it’s for her son and daughter. Kathryn says that Hannah knows how much she hates Candace, but Hannah says that Candace is still her daughter, and the favor is for her. Kathryn asks what Benny has to do with it, but Hannah says she can’t say. She asks if Kathryn will help her. Kathryn says she’ll make some calls, but as much as she hates the bitch, Veronica is the best. Hannah says that Veronica is her friend, and Kathryn is like, whatever you say. She tells Hannah that she’ll call Marty in the morning. Hannah thanks her, and says she has to get back.

Charles and Candace bask in more afterglow. They have pillow talk, and he asks how many men she’s been with. She says the only thing that matters is who she’s with at the time, but she used to see a lot of men. He asks what’s changed. She tells him that she’s getting older and wants to settle down. He asks for her story. She asks what’s his story, and he tells her that he’s running for president. She says most stories are more complicated, and he says the reality is that she can’t know. She asks why. Charles tells her that he wants to be president, he just met her, and they end up in bed. His wife would never have done this, since she was conservative. Candace thinks he’s a wannabe freak, and maybe his wife was too. He wonders if he said anything wrong, and she says no problem. He tells her that it would hurt a lot of people if this came out, and that he can’t have this come out. She picks up her phone and says she can.

Meanwhile, David and Erica are going at it. Erica sees War in the doorway.

Next time, the finale – Jim wants a night with Candace, Hannah asks Benny what he did, and Candace tells Charles that he messed with the wrong female.

Important information. If Loving You is Wrong starts its new season on Tuesday, March 21st, at 9 pm.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Harrison! Giggy! Schnooky! LisaV tells Ken that if she was Kyle, she’d be more pissed off at LisaR than Eden. She tells him about how LisaR called Kyle an enabler. He thinks she just says whatever pops into her head. I think he’s right. I have to mention, I’ve been thinking about Ken all week, and how emotional he got over the disgusting dog meat trade. Being British, he’s not the type to normally show his feelings, and I thought it took a very strong man to reveal that to the world. My husband bought something from Amazon made in China the other day, and I almost popped him in the nose.

Kyle meets Dorit for lunch. Erika meets Eileen for lunch in another location. Erika says she’s going to visit her mom in Georgia, and that her mom is in a play. She tells Eileen that her mother has had a resurgence, and Eileen calls it cute. Let’s not diminish another woman’s accomplishments or anything. Bleh. I’m liking Eileen less as this show goes on.

Kyle tells Dorit about an event happening at her store. They have some kind of drink debuting, and The Fat Jewish is going to help with the promotion. Dorit says that Kim was a rock star last night, and we flash back to her basically telling LisaR off.

In her interview, Eileen says LisaR can often get in trouble for what she says, but she’d rather deal with someone like her. She seems to think this falls under honesty, although many of the Wives have a skewed view of what that is. News flash. It doesn’t mean just saying whatever floats through your brain.

LisaR thinks that she and Kim had a moment of release and need to move on now. We flash back to them hugging it out, and Lisa thanking Kim for being open. Lisa says if you hang onto resentment and anger, it only poisons you. She talks some nonsense about positive energy.

Dorit says when someone keeps doing the same thing over and over, it’s hard to get past it. Dr. Phil calls this stepping on your foot. You can’t forgive someone for stepping on your foot if they’re still stepping on it. She says LisaR makes you think you can trust her, but you blink, and then you can’t. She says Kim and LisaR have been able to work things out – for now – but wonders how many times it’s going to happen. She gives Eden some leeway for being influenced by her relationship with her own sister.

Kyle meets with The Fat Jewish. She asks him to call LisaR out on saying she’s sick, but showing shoe shopping on her Instagram. He calls her, and she says she has the stomach flu. He says she was shopping earlier, but she says the doctor was next to Sak’s. Eden arrives with her friend, Dru.

Dorit trips out of the limo, literally, and Eileen and Camille arrive together. The event is in full swing, and Erika is drinking wine out of the bottle with a straw. LisaV wonders why Kyle is calling a Jew fat, and Kyle has to explain. She introduces The Fat Jewish to everyone. Erika gushes over some jeans. The Fat Jewish takes his shirt off and gives Kyle a lap dance. PK tells LisaV that Ken has been giving him a hard time all night. Erika compliments Dorit’s haircut, and Dorit says it’s the first compliment she’s ever gotten from her. Erika says it’s not, so we flash back and she’s correct. Dorit wonders why Erika seems to have a wall up.

LisaV talks about the trip to Hong Kong she’s taking to stop the dog meat trade. Kyle is coming along, because Ken can’t go, and suddenly, everyone else is coming too. In her interview, Lisa says why not invite The Fat Jewish as well.

Commercial break why do they advertise next week’s “whole new episode,” when we’re not done watching this week’s yet?

LisaV instructs her housekeeper about the different dressings she’s made for a lunch she’s having for Dorit, Erika and Kyle. They’re trying out a new wine for the restaurant and she wants to do it right. Dorit hugs Erika for way too long, and even I get uncomfortable. Kyle arrives, and announces that her sister Kim is a grandmother. She says there was quite a crowd at the birth. Lisa says she has a bone to pick with Erika, who invited Eileen to Hong Kong. In her interview, Lisa says the last time they went away, it was a bloody nightmare. She does think it’s a good idea for both LisaR and Eileen to promote the cause though, because they have a few dozen followers on social media. They agree that Eileen is a nice person, but Dorit says she wouldn’t trust her with her innermost secrets. Erika thinks she should only trust PK with those. Erika says she does have a couple of close friends, but she never wanted to be as trusting as her mother. She says she watches and measures when it comes to herself, although that doesn’t mean she’s not sympathetic or empathetic with other people. Dorit says she’s hard to read, and she’s trusting until someone gives her a reason not to be. In her interview, Kyle says she thinks she understands. Erika is guarded because people have judged her. Dorit says it makes her hard to read, and Erika says she’s a different animal.

Erika’s makeup artists, Clyde and Preston, accompany her in the private jet to Atlanta. She says she’s a Southern girl, and she’ll always be a tomboy too. She’s capable of both camping and glamming.

Kyle brings a family cradle to Kim for the new baby. Kim shows her pictures. Kim says it was the most amazing experience of her life. Kyle tells Kim about the trip to Hong Kong. Kim still isn’t sure about the experience at Kyle’s party. She says LisaR is always like, I made a mistake, and Kyle does an imitation of her saying, “own it.” Kim says she doesn’t have the energy to expel for these people, and I relate.

Erika rents a car and heads to her grandparents’ house. Her mom’s fiancé, Chip, greets them. She says it’s great and emotional at the same time. They look at family photos. She talks about how her grandparents always came to the rescue when her mother needed help, and her grandfather was the only father she ever knew. She tells Preston and Clyde about her grandmother’s battle with Alzheimer’s, and it sounds dreadful. She used to speak to her grandmother every day, and when the phone calls stopped, that was the hardest part. She says it was a marker that the woman she knew was no longer, and to see someone so vibrant and strong slip away is inhumane.

Erika’s mom, wearing a Pat the Puss T-shirt, gets home, and we see where Erika got her good looks from. In her interview, Erika tells us that her mother was a piano teacher, but Erika stunk at piano, so she became a singer and dancer. Her mother was 18 when she had Erika, and did the best she could. Erika says she was never cut any breaks, but her mother loved her and wasn’t a bullsh*tter. She says it was like throwing a kid in a pool to learn to swim, but she didn’t drown. Her mom talks about the play. She thinks it’s good to be involved in something like theater, because it keeps her going and alert. Erika says it’s important to be creative and continue to express herself. Thank God she didn’t say it was cute.

Giggy! Harrison! Ken! LIsaV and Ken go to the dog rescue. Lisa is so excited, she slides down the bannister. She wants to make the rescue center like a lifestyle shop. She says there’s going to be a spa where Vanderpups can get the best blow job in Hollywood. Ha-ha! That LisaV, she’s a real card.

LisaR comes by. Giggy is too precious for words with his little bald behind and pom-pom paws. LisaR says she’s still not 100% well. LisaV explains that they started Vanderpump Pets as a company, but then they realized what was happening in China, so they expanded operations and are also making a documentary. She tells LIsaR they need someone on all fours, and asks her if she’d like to come along to Hong Kong, and put the Dubai trip behind them. In her interview, she says that she wants to mend fences, but isn’t going to forget what happened. It’s not a grudge; it’s being smart. I’m totally on board. That LisaV, she’s also very wise. LisaR is glad to hear it. She’s moved on, but hearing this from LisaV is like getting a bonus check. LisaV asks for LisaR’s feather eyelashes as some kind of commitment, but in her interview, she says she wants LisaR to leave with bald eyes. LisaR hands her lashes over, and in her interview, LisaV says maybe she can manipulate LisaR, and wonders if she’ll carry the bags.

Commercial break with important information. The Real Housewives of New York starts its new season on April 5th, Wednesday, at 9 pm.

In the morning, Erika and her mom go to the cemetery. They take a golf cart to go in. Her mother says she has a fear of being buried and wants cremation. In her interview, Erika says she was closer to her grandmother. I hate to say this, but this looks like a pet cemetery. The headstones are like flattish rocks and it’s in the middle of a forest. I don’t see any other graves around either. What’s going on with this??? They put flowers by the stones, and sit to talk. Erika says she didn’t want to cry today, and her mom says she didn’t cry as a kid. Erika says she was treated like an adult a lot, but she knows her mom was under a lot of pressure. Her mom says it made her a tough old bird (geez, how old is Erika? 40?), and Erika says she gets accused of being cold. She has little patience for crybabies and people who need a lot of hand-holding. I can understand where she’s coming from. I’m not unsympathetic either, but when someone is whining about the same problem they were whining about five years ago, I tend to think they don’t really want to resolve the problem, and start to inch away. Erika’s mom says she’s the sweetest, and Erika appreciates her feelings being validated. Her mom tells Erika that she’s been good to the family, and her grandparents would be proud. We end with a hug.

Next time, Hong Kong phooey, the girls discourage Eden sleeping with someone she doesn’t know, LisaR confronts Dorit, and Erika calls Dorit on her bs. Sounds like it’s not going to be a great trip for Dorit.

A Few Randoms

🔫 ImpostersUma Thurman is the best! Anything with her in it is always worth watching.

🍑 Southern Charm: How They Got Here, March 8th at 9 pm. How they got where? I looked at the blurb in the digital guide and it looks like a retrospective of previous seasons.

💃 Little Women: LA highlights – Matt told Briana he wanted to train to be an MMA fighter, and she asked if he wants to fight people. When he replied, “Well, they don’t fight animals,” I nearly died laughing. Terra gathered the girls to explain that she’s not dying, and until a doctor tells her to stop doing Dancing with the Stars, she’s sticking with it. Christy signed up to have neck surgery, and Elena and Tonya went to a spa for some kind of freezing treatment that’s supposed to help with inflammation. Briana is also dealing with postpartum depression, and Jasmine begged her to get some help before it gets worse.

February 28, 2017 – Hallelujah! GH is Saved, Candace Hits a Big Mark, LisaR Confesses & Little LA Returns


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Jason talks to Spinelli on the phone, saying he can’t find Sam. He asks Spinelli to hack into the highway cameras. He continues calling for Sam, but she can’t reply loud enough for him to hear her.

Julian tells Olivia-J that Sam is pregnant and fell off a bridge. Olivia says she can’t help it if Sam was so stupid to get in her way.

Finn looks at the pharm guy’s card. He asks if a vote has been made, and Monica says they’re waiting. In the boardroom, Obrecht is glad she could put an end to it. Michael tells Tracy that’s how it works; sometimes the vote goes against you.

Nelle calls Michael and leaves a message. She says she’s at work, and everything she needed to do is done. She’ll see him later.

Not so fast. She opens the door, and Bobbie is standing there.

Carly puts the flash drive into Nelle’s laptop. She hears Sonny say that under no circumstances should Carly know that he and Nelle had sex. Her phone rings. It’s Sonny, but she doesn’t pick up.

At the hospital, Sonny wonders why Carly isn’t answering. At Nelle’s apartment, Carly hears Sonny saying it’s his fault and he takes full responsibility.

Tracy tells Michael that her father didn’t have time for failures. She asks how much Obrecht got for her vote. Obrecht says her conduct is above reproach. She says if the Quartermaines are determined to own a hospital, why don’t they buy one? Tracy says that General Hospital is the best there is, and it’s not going down on her watch. She walks out, but they need her to certify the vote.

Tracy tells Hayden that they lost. Monica says GH is gone. Michael sees Sonny, and tells him they’ve voted to sell the hospital for real estate. Sonny asks if he needs money, but Michael says in the end, it was more about politics. Michael sees the call from Nelle, and tells Sonny that he has plans with her and has to go.

Nelle tells Bobbie that Carly has the day off, and Bobbie says she knows. Bobbie gets snarky, and Nelle asks if anything is wrong. Bobbie says things are finally right again. Nelle might as well pack her bags; her game is over.

Carly plays the file again, and hears Nelle says that maybe they should tell the truth. Carly thinks back over the past few months. She closes the laptop and cries.

Sam can hear Jason, but he can’t hear her. He tells Spinelli he needs some help. Sam says don’t go. Jason tells Spinelli to call him back. He says he could use a sign right now, and looks everywhere except where Sam is, and she passes out.  The full moon comes out from behind the clouds, and he finally sees her.

Olivia-J tells Julian that she did nothing wrong, and would never intentionally harm a child. She says she never gets any sympathy from him, even though he tried to kill her. Julian says he’s been running around in circles, doing her bidding for months. She says that’s only because she blackmailed him. He never made amends to her, and he hasn’t changed. He’s selfish and self-absorbed, the way he was when he shot her in the back years ago. She, however, is a new woman. She has grown, and isn’t a pushover anymore. It’s time he learned that. I don’t think I would have ever called Olivia a pushover.

Jason calls for an ambulance, and slides down to Sam. She tells him about Olivia-J and seeing the keyring in the car, and he says he knows. She says the contractions are coming too fast.

Hayden tells Finn that Laura wasn’t there, and Tracy says as long as there’s a majority vote, it’s legal. Monica says Obrecht broke the tie, and she cut off her nose to spite her face. Finn asks for fifteen minutes, telling them to stall.

Sonny says he thought Michael and Nelle were just friends. Michael says things changed last night, and tells Sonny about getting stuck in the cabin. Sonny wonders if Nelle asked for a ride there, and Michael says he’s the one who offered. Tracy interrupts, telling Michael she needs him. Sonny stomps to the elevator.

Nelle says she doesn’t know what Bobbie is talking about, and can’t catch a break with her. She says except for the one time they argued, she’s only been respectful and accommodating. Bobbie obviously dislikes her, but they should move on for Michael’s sake; he doesn’t share her opinion. Bobbie says that’s because he doesn’t know the truth. She tells Nelle that she destroys anyone who targets her family.

Carly wanders around Nelle’s apartment, and flashes back to various interactions with Nelle and Bobbie. She thinks about Nelle talking about her secret boyfriend. Come on, Carly, you’re smarter than this. She talks to herself, saying Nelle doesn’t know anything about payback, but she will.

Olivia-J tells Julian that she’s tired of him arguing with her. She could have killed him months ago, but didn’t. He says she tried, but she says she wasn’t successful and apologized. She wishes she could believe him, but when she looks at him, she sees such little growth. She says he murdered Duke, and would test the patience of Buddha. She thinks it might be doing him a favor to kill him, so he could start over. She doesn’t think he can be saved in this incarnation.

Sam tells Jason the baby is coming, and he says they can do this. She tells him that she’s scared there’s something wrong. He tells her to breathe.

Nelle says Bobbie doesn’t think she’s good enough for Michael. Bobbie says that’s an understatement, but he’ll find out who she really is, and that she messed with his family. Nelle says she caught on to Felicia. She didn’t tell Carly the whole truth because it’s not a happy story. She says she truly cares for them, and wants what’s best. Bobbie asks how was it best when she slept with Carly’s husband?

Carly says this can’t be happening, and flashes back to what Bobbie told her, and some questionable moments with Sonny when they talked about Nelle. She opens the door to Sonny standing there.

Nelle asks what Bobbie is talking about, and Bobbie says Nelle and Sonny making fun of her daughter. She tells Nelle to sit down and shut up. She calls Nelle a conniving little tramp who took advantage of Carly’s generosity. What’s really vile, is how she used Morgan’s death to worm her way into Sonny’s bed. Nelle says she doesn’t understand. Bobbie says she knows what she needs to know, and so does Carly.

Sonny asks why Carly is at Nelle’s apartment. Carly says Nelle is her assistant; why is he there? He says he was trying to call, and she didn’t pick up. She says why not talk here.

Jason tries to keep Sam calm, but she still thinks something is wrong. She makes him promise that he’ll take the baby home. Port Charles has the Slowest. Ambulance. Ever.

Tracy comes back to the meeting with Monica and Hayden. Obrect objects to them being there, and Gray says, let’s just get going. Tracy says there are some objections to Hayden’s report. Michael says his people told him that she’s been presenting the worst possible scenario to the board, suggesting the worst possible outcome. Tracy says she can’t certify the vote based on faulty projections. Gray doesn’t think they need to, but Tracy wants to hear what the other analysts had to say.

Finn calls the pharm guy. He asks if the offer is still on the table. I’m not quite sure if the Obrecht is going to change her vote unless something is specifically in it for her.

Michael says research can lead to patents and new treatments, as well as better medical care. He tells them about Finn’s discovery, and sys GH is known for their research. Obrecht interrupts, but Michael says he has the numbers. Gray wants to certify selling, but Finn pops in, saying they don’t have to. They need cash to put GH in the black and keep it there. If a donor stepped forward, they could call for another vote. Obrecht says no such angel exists, but Finn says it does; it’s him. He explains about selling the patent, and says they can have all the money.

Nelle asks if Bobbie told Carly. Bobbie says she did, and Nelle says she has no idea what she’s done. Bobbie says that she opened Carly’s eyes to the truth. She says Carly and Sonny lost their son, and were grieving and fighting to survive. Nelle blew them apart and their whole family. She asks if Nelle stopped to think of the others. Nelle says this wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. Bobbie says no one wants to know her, Michael least of all, but Nelle is gone.

Carly tells Sonny that the wedding vows caught her off guard, but he insisted, and she’s been thinking about it ever since.

Jason tells Sam one big push and they can take the baby home. Sam says it hurts. He tells her he loves her and she can do this. He says she’s his phoenix. They’re going to rise one more time together.

Tracy says they should scrap the previous vote. Gray protests, and Obrecht says how do they know Finn is telling the truth. He shows them a fax from the pharm guy. Tracy asks all in favor of voiding the vote, and everyone except Gray and Obrecht raise their hands. Michael votes to accept the Finn’s gift, and everyone agrees except Gray. Tracy says they won and GH stays open. Gray steps away from the table. Finn watches him.

Scout is here! Jason holds her. Sam asks if she’s okay, and why isn’t she crying?

Olivia-J tells Julian that their dad said he was a disappointment. When he left the witness protection program, he had the opportunity to live up to the Jerome name, but blew it, and she’s glad their father didn’t live to see it. Julian says she’ll have her victory, and he’ll be out of her life. Gray texts Julian, saying the deal fell through. Olivia says the Quartermaines saved the hospital and Julian failed her.

Sam asks what’s happening. Jason gives the baby CPR, and says she’s not breathing. Sam begs Jason to save her.

Carly tells Sonny that she wants to come up with something special, since they’ll be getting married for the sixth time. She’s come up with draft, and would like his input.

Bobbie calls Carly and leaves a message about what happened. She says she confronted Nelle. She’s sorry, but it just came out. She says if Nelle has half a brain, she’s out of town. Bobbie thinks they’ve heard the last of her.

Nelle runs into Michael at the hospital. He says he has good news for once.

Carly asks why Sonny is nervous, and he says he feels like it’s an invasion of privacy. Carly says he wouldn’t cross a boundary not to offend Nelle, but offended Carly by screwing her. D’oh! I would have done a spit-take if something had been in my mouth.

Scout finally breathes, and Sam has passed out. Jason tells her to wake up, but it’s not happening.

Tomorrow, Nelle tells Michael everything, Carly confronts Sonny, and Olivia-J tells Julian that it’s strike three for him.

The Haves and the Have Nots

I love this show. Tyler Perry is brilliant – and the hardest working man in show business. HAHN isn’t exactly intellectually stimulating, but it’s extremely entertaining and he definitely slips in lessons to be learned.

We revisit the tableau at Wyatt’s apartment. Jeffrey moves, and the officer shoots. Justin runs to Jeffrey. He tells the officer that they were just playing around, and says get out of here, rookie. Rookie leaves. Miraculously missed by the bullet, Jeffrey tells Justin to leave him alone and get out. Justin leaves. I gotta say, I’m starting to like Justin, and I’m feeling badly about this.

Wyatt asks who that was, and Jeffrey says a friend. Wyatt tells Jeffrey he needs to stay away from that guy. He looks out the window, and says Justin isn’t leaving. Jeffrey says he will, and he has to go. Wyatt doesn’t want him to leave, or at least wait until Justin is gone. Jeffrey repeats for Wyatt to call the number he gave to him, and leaves. Wow. Two seconds out of the hospital, and Wyatt is a mess again.

Candance kisses a sleeping Quincy Jr., and sneaks out of the hotel room.

David walks Erica back to her room. She says good-night, and he’s like, really. He says he won’t judge her, and they kiss. She says that’s huge (no, not that, she means sleeping together), and he begs a little.

Oscar sees Candace in the hotel lobby, and tries to get her to work with him. She tells him to back off. She calls Erica, who is now making out with David on her bed. Candace says she knocked on the door, and asks if David is there. Erica pretends Candace is someone else, who’s asking about borrowing clothes. Candace asks if it’s going to be an all-nighter, and tells Candace to put what she needs in the hallway.

Erica leaves the bed to get the stuff together for Candace, and David makes himself comfortable. When she comes back, they get busy. David’s phone rings. It’s Jim. He wants the number of the guy who got his money back after Candace blackmailed him. David tells Jim that he’s with a female friend. Jim tells him to text the number now, before he gets busier.

Kathryn comes downstairs, and asks what Jim is still doing there. He says it is his house. She asks if he has a whore to screw, and he says he’s not interested in the one closest to him. Oooh. That’s beyond snap. She says someone thinks so, and goes back upstairs, bringing some wine with her. There’s a masseuse in her room, and Jim says he’s not interested in her. She says he’s paid to do a job, and she’s getting a massage. Jim asks why she’s trying to seduce him. Kathryn says she’s not; he wants her. She asks the masseuse if he’s ever had a sugar mama and if he wants one. The kid says no to both, and Jim thinks he should leave. He changes that to get the hell out and he’s gone.

Jim asks Kathryn if she’s lost her mind. He tells her that seducing a child isn’t the way to get him to leave. She says she really was just getting a massage, but she wanted to bug him. Regardless, she could get a man if she wanted to. Jim asks what if he goes to the press, and Kathryn says she doesn’t give a damn. She asks if Jim has looked for Wyatt, and he says he has. She says she can’t lose him, and Jim says they won’t. He’s going to find Wyatt and get the money back. Kathryn says he can get out after that, and Jim says she should get out. She says maybe she will.

Jim calls Oscar. David has already given him a heads up. Jim explains that he needs to find his son. He also needs to get back his son’s inheritance. He tells Oscar that he has no idea where Wyatt is, and Oscar says he’ll get right on it. He wants ten percent, but Jim offers him five. Oscar says he can find someone cheaper then, so Jim agrees to ten.

Candace talks to bartender Rocky, and orders a martini. She asks if he’s running the boys, and he says not as well as she is. She orders two martinis. She sees Charles sitting at a table for two, and walks over to him. He tells her to leave him alone please. She asks Rocky to give her a glass of whatever he’s drinking, and she brings it over to him. She pretends to be working there, and then sits down. He says that he doesn’t need anything else, and she says she’s not a waiter; he didn’t even look at her. She asks if it’s been a long day, and he says it has. She introduces herself, and then pretends to suddenly recognize him. He asks to keep it low key. Rocky brings over the martinis.

Charles asks what she does, and she says that’s personal. He says he’s about to be President of the United States, and she says, don’t sound so happy. He says he’s just getting used to losing everything normal. He asks if she’s a reporter, and she tells him no. He requests that she take the battery out of her phone. He says as president, he won’t be allowed a smart phone. She gives Rocky her purse, and tells Charles to relax; she’s not wearing a wire, and there are no cameras pointed toward them. He says he has his reasons for noticing that, but what are hers? She says she’s observant, and he says, or in a business where she has to look out for that. She asks what he’s saying, and he asks if she’s a working girl. She tells him to have a good night, and goes to the bar.

Oscar asks if he can buy her a drink, and she says no. She tells him to get lost. Oscar says he’ll cover her tab, and she says she’s not interested. He says she got Charles’s attention, and if she doesn’t want people to think she’s a whore, maybe she shouldn’t dress like one. He gives her the key to a room that adjoins Charles’s room. Charles is leaving in three days. Oscar tells her to make Charles think she’s not a whore, and propositions her. She slaps him, and Rocky tells him to get out. She tells Rocky to bill everything to her room. She leaves, and Charles follows. He gets in the elevator with her. Isn’t he going to think something’s up if her room is next to his?

He asks if she’s okay, and she says that she’s fine. She says the future president thinks she’s a whore, and so does the guy at the bar. He says he’s sorry, and addresses her by name. She tells him that remembering her name is a nice thing to do. She gets out, and he says it’s his floor too.

As they walk down the hall, Charles asks what happened, and Candace says he doesn’t want to hear. He says give him something other than a political speech, and she says it’s the whiskey talking. He tells her that he’s a Tennessee boy. She gets to her room, and he says no way. She says she doesn’t believe in coincidences, and tells him good-night. He is super cute. I think she’s going to fall for him.

Inside her room, Candace looks around for any recording devices. Beautiful room, but one cheap phone. I can tell by the weight when she picks it up. She pulls something out from a couple of vases and under the desk. There’s an open laptop and some books and papers all over the bed. Oscar calls and asks her why she would do that. She says she’s not working with him. He says Charles is worth millions, and tells her to just get him on tape. He tells her all the stuff is hers from law school, and she’s cramming for exams. He instructs her to say good-by to him loudly. She yells, don’t call again, and hangs up.

The phone rings, and Candace is like, what?! and it’s Charles. He says he wants to apologize, and she tells him to open the door. How come there’s no secret service around or whatever? Is this like The Prince and the Pauper? She tells him that she’s broke. The only reason she’s there is that it’s her anniversary. She wanted to surprise her boyfriend, and found him with somebody else. She says she also comes from a rough neighborhood, and she’s not good for his image. She thanks him for being nice, and he asks her to have a minibar drink with him. She asks if he’s trying to take advantage of her, and he says he just wants a drink. She says it will have to be his minibar, but the door stays open.

In Veronica’s driveway, Justin apologizes, and begs Jeffrey to listen. Jeffrey says Justin could have gotten him killed. Justin says he’s never done anything like this before. He’s never been in this situation; he’s doing things for Jeffrey that he’d never do. Jeffrey is like, please don’t say you’re in love. Justin says he isn’t, but he likes Jeffrey a lot, and doesn’t want to lose him. Jeffrey says he doesn’t belong to Justin, and Wyatt was just a straight friend. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and he has a drug problem. Veronica sees them from the window. Justin asks Jeffrey to forgive him. Jeffrey hears the door open, and says he does.

Veronica asks what Justin wants. Justin says that Jeffrey made an illegal left U-turn. Jeffrey talks about forgiveness, and says they were forgiving each other, because Justin was a bit aggressive. Jeffrey asks if Melissa is inside, like he’s going to fool Veronica, and Veronica tells him to join her. She wants to talk to the officer.

When Jeffrey is gone, she asks Justin what’s going on, and if she has to call the Chief of Police. Justin says he told her, but she says there are no left turns to get to the house. He says maybe he was mistaken and it was right. She asks how long this has been going on, and Justin says he and Jeffrey just met. She asks if he knows who she is, and he says she’s Jeffrey’s mom. He tells her that she should just be happy he let Jeffrey off with a warning, and Veronica says she has her own warning for him. She tells him to stay away from her son. She knows his type; she’s had them on the stand many times. She asks if Justin understands. He says he does and leaves.

Inside the house, Veronica asks why Jeffrey was being protective of Justin. She says he has the same look in his eye he has for Wyatt. He’s supposed to be there with Melissa, and he’s running around with that. She says she smells Justin on him, and tells him to be a man. He has a sexy-ass woman waiting for him, and he’s acting stupid. Jeffrey just stands there, and she tells him to go upstairs to Melissa. She asks if Jeffrey wants to stab her again, and when he says nothing, tells him to go.

Wyatt calls Jeffrey, but gets voicemail. He flashes back to Jeffrey telling him to call the number. He calls, and a woman asks what’s going on. He says he’s sick, and she asks if he’s trying to detox. She says there’s a doctor who can see him at home, and he gives her the address. She says they’re on the way.

Kathryn calls Hannah. She asks if Hannah sold the car. Hannah says no, and Kathryn is glad. She tells Hannah the police were just there, and Candace is wanted for questioning in Quincy’s murder. She asks if Hannah wants to know how she got the money from Jim. She sends Hannah a photo. Hannah is like, OMG! and Kathryn says she should have warned her. She kept one of the DA’s photos and Jim doesn’t know. She tells Hannah that she’s sorry. Hannah says she’s trying to figure out how to save Candace’s life. She asks if she can call Kathryn tomorrow.

Hannah goes to the police station. She tells the desk sergeant that they’re looking for her daughter and she knows where she is. Her daughter is Candace Young.

Next time, Candace promises not to tell anyone about Charles, Oscar thinks they can set up a scheme, and Justin talks to Hannah about Candace. I don’t know why I thought this was the finale. There are two more shows left. I would say I needed a TV vacation, but I might end up like Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle works with an organizer to get the garage together. Mauricio would rather she threw everything out, but she says there’s a lot of memorabilia in there, and wonders if she’s a hoarder. She talks on the phone with LisaV, and tells her that Carnie Wilson is presenting a tasting from her baked goods company at Kyle’s house, and she’s invited the women. Lisa is afraid of seeing the other Lisa, and Kyle says she has more of a beef with her than this Lisa does.

Eileen talks to Vince about Erika being on The Young and the Restless. She never knew Erika was going to be as excited as she is. Why not? It’s a pretty big deal. Erika is coming by to rehearse. In her interview, Eileen explains the process of putting a character into a soap. She asks Erika how the Project Angel Food gig went. In her interview, Erika says you probably don’t want her making any food for you because you’ll die. Eileen goes through the lines with her. Erika says it’s very different than doing her own show, where everything is focused on her. With this, she actually has to listen. Vince and Eileen agree she’s a natural.

LisaR – the other white Lisa – talks to Harry about going to Kyle’s house. She tells him that Kim is going to be there. Lisa was pretty fired up when she met with Eden, but doesn’t think Eden would lie. Harry says he can understand how her buttons were pushed if Kim was mean to her. She says she was spouting her feelings, and she connected with Eden. She’s sure that Kim must know about it by now Harry says she’s just tried to help Kim, but Lisa thinks everyone looks at it as just the opposite. Harry thinks that’s absurd, and that she has empathy. In her interview, Lisa says she’s going to have to own it; she did say those things. She tells Harry that if she gets stoned to death, he knows where her diamonds are.

LisaV and Ken go to the new space for their dog rescue center. She wants it to be a lifestyle shop with everything doggy, and potential pet parents will be able to play with the shelter dogs during the day. Lisa talks with the agent about Yulan festival and how they’re trying to change it. She wants Congress to speak out against it to China. It’s difficult for me to even hear about, and I applaud Lisa for her work. She says she doesn’t want to turn into a crazy person, but Ken says she is already. Ken gets emotional about a video he saw, and he’s going to make me cry in about one second. Lisa wouldn’t look, and I can’t either. I’ve actually signed online petitions without looking.

Carnie Wilson arrives at Kyle’s. She’s brought four flavors of cheesecake. Oooh, they’re teeny tiny. A beautiful table is set outside, and Kyle’s Golden Retriever lounges in the pool with his tennis ball. Carnie talks about her own sobriety.

Erika picks up LisaR, who’s bearing a baby gift for Kim’s new grandchild. Kim arrives at Kyle’s bearing her sponsor, Claire. LisaR talks to Erika in the limo about meeting with Eden, and says she thinks she did say everything. In her interview, Erika says she hates hearing this, and Kim is going to kill Lisa. She tells Lisa that she’s going to get it.

Mmmm… Tiny food is being passed around. Tiny crab cakes and little garnishes with caviar on tiny bread. Eileen asks Kyle if she invited Eden, and Kyle says she did. Kyle asks Eileen if she thought Kim hasn’t seemed sober, and Eileen says she hasn’t exhibited that behavior for some time. She says it’s weird and illogical though, because she can’t imagine LisaR saying those things.

Carnie talks to Kim about her impending grandchild. Dorit shows a video of her baby going after a pair of designer boots – fashionista in training. Eden arrives, and Kim says Eden makes her skin crawl. She talks to Carnie about removing all the negative, and tells her about Eden repeating LisaR’s lies. Carnie says we’ll always have to deal with idiots. No wiser words have been spoken.

Little cheeses! LisaV’s big earrings! We can see Kim stiffen the second LisaR comes to the table. Lisa presents her with the baby gift. Erika gives a blow-by-blow to LisaV and Dorit, who are inside at the bar. In her interview, Kim can’t believe that after everything LisaR said about her, she’s handing her a bunny. She says she can’t even look at Eden, and people in recovery support each other, not beat each other down.

Camille arrives. LisaR takes Eileen aside. She tells Eileen about how she talked to Erika, and came to a conclusion. Since coming to a conclusion takes more than one thought, I know this had to have been difficult. She talked to Harry, and they discussed the people close to them dying, and she realized she said it. Eileen is surprised and disappointed. Lisa says she meant well. Eileen says she knows that, and loves her. Eileen thinks Lisa’s good parts are better than her bad, and there’s something to be said for her owning everything.

Everyone gathers around several different tiny desserts, and Carnie talks about her dessert company. She wants people to be able to have a little bite rather than shunning dessert altogether. Man, this stuff looks good. I have a confession to make. Ever since they brought out those tiny crab cakes, I’ve been eating tiny chocolate chip cookies. I think I’ll put them away now.

Kyle goes inside and LisaR starts to tell her about her epiphany, when Carnie comes by to round them up. Lisa says she feels like a dead man walking.

Everyone is enjoying the desserts, when LisaR announces she wants to say something to Kim. Seriously. Everyone gets quiet. She says Kim has probably heard some things. (I’ve heard things…) She admits to saying some bad things to Eden, in the heat of the moment after game night. After talking to Erika and Harry, she wants to admit to saying them. In her interview, Kyle says Lisa flat out lied. Kim tells Lisa that she’s always saying things, and then it’s, oh, I’m sorry. She says what Lisa said was uncalled for. Lisa tries to drag Eden in, drawing comparisons. She says Kim was provoking her, and Dorit asks what she did, saying that she doesn’t remember Kim doing anything to warrant what Lisa said. Kim says Lisa doesn’t think of the consequences involving other people, like her children. She introduces her sponsor. LisaR says she’s only wanted to move forward with Kim, and LisaV points out that she was questioning Kim’s sobriety. In her interview, LisaR says LisaV is enjoying this. LisaR says a sober person doesn’t act like that, and Kim wonders who Lisa is to judge what a sober person is like. That was a really stupid statement to make. Kim calls out Eden for saying anything in the first place. LisaV tries to interject that LisaR bears more of the burden, and Kyle tells her to pick a lane.

LisaR asks Claire if there’s a chance to heal. Claire thinks it’s possible if everyone gets to a place where they can let go. Kyle is like, just don’t make up stories. She asks Eden how she would feel if Kyle questioned her sobriety behind her back. Eden says judge her all she wants. Kim basically says it was none of her business. We flash back to the game night argument between Kim and LisaR.

In her interview, Eden says as a recovering alcoholic it would be remiss of her not to listen to what LisaR had to say, and act on it. Kim says Eden isn’t them, and Eden tells her to have some compassion for someone who lost their sister. Kyle says it has nothing to do with compassion; it’s about comparing the situations. Kyle tells Eden that she knows it was horrific, but she can’t compare her situation with theirs. Everyone keeps talking at once, and it’s hard to separate everything. LisaR says it’s not what Kim is saying, but how she’s saying it. I think a HUGE part of LisaR’s problem is that she over-dramatizes everything. I’ll bet going to the bathroom is a big production in the LisaR household.

Carnie says when she makes a mistake she makes amends and owns it, but that everyone has their own pace. If she can’t move on and hangs on to things, she’s drunk. LisaR brings up Kim talking about Harry. Kim says she never said anything about him, and Kyle says she did imply it. LisaR says he might not show it, but it did hurt Harry. People come up to him on the street and ask #WhatDidHarryDo? I can’t help feeling that Harry would think the whole thing was stupid funny. Kim says she’s told Lisa that she’s sorry a million times. In her interview, Erika says LisaR is like a cat with nine lives, but she’s not sure how many she has left.

Carnie says some things are hard to break through, but that’s where compassion comes in. She says they drank for reasons; they are a little looney, but there’s no perfect. Kim says she doesn’t want her world out there again when she’s worked so hard. She’s going to stand up for herself, because she has had times she thought she was going to die. LisaR says she’s sorry she hurt Kim. Eden says she didn’t want to hurt Kim either. Eileen asks Kim what they can do to move on. LisaR says every ounce of her being wants to move on, being all dramatic again. In her interview, LisaV says you have to prove what you say by your actions, wondering if LisaR really does want to move on. Thank you. Some people think “I’m sorry” means they can keep doing it. Carnie says look at what these cheesecakes can do. The girls have some healing cheesecake and move on. Maybe.

Next time, Dorit has a wonderful new hairstyle, a Hong Kong trip is on the horizon, and Erika gets emotional with her mother.

💣 Love Imposters more every week!

💁 Thanks, Lifetime, for bringing Little Women: LA back on Tuesdays, when I already have a hard enough time juggling my TV shows. Here was the gist of it:

Terra is in the top five on Dancing with the Stars. Joe is on tour, and Terra’s health isn’t too great; she’s suffering from two hernias, on top of the breast issue she had last season. Elena comes to the DWTS studio to confront her, because she’s not answering her texts, and Terra ends up telling her to get out. Christy thinks Todd is eating himself to death, and wants him to either go to rehab or go back to Ohio, which I guess is the only other alternative. She’s also still desperate for Briana’s friendship. Tonya was diagnosed with Bell’s palsy, which is a virus that attacks the nerves. It’s triggered through stress. Great. One more thing to stress about. The girls threw Jasmine a baby shower, and she seemed genuinely surprised, but I’ve always wondered about the wisdom in surprising a pregnant woman. We also found out that the baby is a boy. 👶

February 27, 2017 – Jason Gets Closer to the Truth, the NOLA Trip Ends, Summer House Implodes & Little LA is Back


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Jason explains that Sam told him Alexis was having difficulty with her sobriety, so she was staying over. Alexis shows him her 30-day chip, and says oddly enough, it’s the one day she’s not struggling. Jason tries Sam’s phone and it rings from Alexis’s purse. Oh-ho! So that’s what Olivia-J put in there. Did she think Alexis would never notice? Okay, if it was in my purse, it might take a while, but did she think it was never going to ring?

Olivia-J comes back to her room. Julian, who is handcuffed to the radiator with a hood over his head, asks if the psycho witch is back. She takes the hood off, and says she thought they should wait together for the news about GH.

Finn asks to speak privately to Hayden. Tracy says she can take a hint. Finn tells Hayden that he’ll do anything. He doesn’t want to lose her

Felicia joins Bobbie at the MetroCourt. Bobbie says she hasn’t been able to sleep since Felicia told her about Nelle’s secret. She asks if Felicia is sure it’s true, and she says absolutely.

Michael and Nelle get back from the cabin. Nelle tells Michael that he has to go and save the hospital, and she has to take care of one thing. After that, she can start over.

Carly and Sonny bask in the afterglow. Carly says she’s going home – to pack, and explain to Josslyn that she’s moving back in with him.

Monica asks Tracy if they have enough votes to save the hospital. Tracy tells her not until Laura shows up.

Olivia-J tells Julian that Laura got sidetracked, and he’ll get to live. He asks what she did with Sam.

Alexis wonders how the phone got in her purse. Jason asks if she left her purse anywhere. She says she only stepped away from it when she was talking with her sponsor. Jason shows her a picture of Olivia-J and asks if she recognizes it. Alexis says that’s her sponsor.

Felicia tells Bobbie that she contacted another teacher who’d been a friend of Nelle’s. Bobbie wonders why a stranger would tell Felicia anything. Felicia says that besides having an honest face, she’d explained that Nelle is on the short list to be Crimson’s woman of the month, and she was interviewing people who know her.

Carly tells Sonny that she hadn’t grieved Morgan properly. She wanted to bury herself in Sonny’s arms, but couldn’t. He tells her that he missed her. Thanksgiving night he was sure their marriage was done and that she was going back to Jax. He imagined the worst. She says that’s over, and she’s here with him now. They kiss

Nelle tells Michael that his words affected her, and she’s going to end what she started. He asks why she’s taking all the blame, and what about her boyfriend? She says he’s involved, and it would devastate his wife. Michael made her realize that she would only end up devastating herself. She’s been focused on the past, and wants to look to the future and spend more time with him. She says at the end of the night, she’ll be free to focus on him and whatever they decide to do.

Nelle says she feels like a new person. Michael tells her not to change too much. He leaves, and she tosses out the phone with the audio file on it and deletes the copy on her laptop. She says all that’s left now is what she sent to Carly. Like an idiot though, she leaves the dialogue box that says “Sonny audio file deleted” up on the computer screen.

Sonny tells Carly that they should make if official. She says she never filed for divorce, but he suggests renewing their vows. She adds, for the sixth time. He says he’s not the best Catholic, but he likes the ritual of his faith. He’d also like Griff to be the officiant. Carly says that’s fine, if he’s willing. Bobble texts Carly to meet her about something important. Sonny says he’s going to win Bobbie over yet, starting with making her daughter happy. Carly says she didn’t think she’d ever be happy again, but she is, and she loves him. He says he loves her too.

Hayden doesn’t want to be responsible for whether or not Finn goes to rehab. He asks Hayden to give him a chance. She tells him to let her do her job, and he wishes her luck with the board. No one has seen Laura, and they need her vote. Gray says it’s time to start. Tracy tells him that Michael and Laura are on their way

Julian asks again what Olivia-J did. She pours herself a stiff one, and says there was an accident. She tells Julian that Sam attacked her, and wound up falling off a bridge.

Jason asks Alexis if she’s sure. Alexis says she is, and wants to know who it is in the picture. Jason tells her it’s Olivia Jerome, who was presumed dead. Alexis is shocked that her sponsor is Julian’s sister. Jason says he thinks she’s been pulling Julian’s strings for a while, and that she set up the car bomb that killed Morgan. He figures that her being Alexis’s sponsor is a front, and one more thing she has over him. Alexis remembers walking in on them talking. She says Julian knew she was being duped and never said a word. They both suddenly remember that Sam is missing, and Alexis wonders if Olivia got to her.

Sam hears sirens in the distance, and tells Scout that help is coming.

Julian can’t believe that Olivia-J left Sam after she fell. He tells her that Sam is pregnant, and he can’t understand how she can be so heartless. Olivia says Sam attacked her, and she didn’t intend to hurt her. He’s the one who’s heartless, and deserves what she’s thrown at him. Alexis calls Julian. Olivia wonders why she’s calling.

Alexis leaves a message for Julian, saying that his sister Olivia is her sponsor, and she’s done something to Sam. Alexis wants to call Olivia-J and set her up, but Jason tells her not to.

Sam calls out that she’s down at the bottom of the hill. The sirens fade, and she realizes it wasn’t for them. She tells Scout it’s okay, but starts feeling pain.

Michael shows up at the board meeting. Tracy says a member is running behind schedule, and asks to postpone. Gray won’t go for it, and Michael says maybe Laura will show before they vote. Hayden presents her proposal, and Tracy starts asking questions. Gray says she’s stalling, and wants a vote. Monica asks Hayden to leave per policy.

Monica sees Obrecht in the hallway, and she tells Monica that she has something to do in the boardroom. Monica says there’s a board meeting going on, and what business could she have with it?

Sonny finds Griff at the hospital, and Griff tells him about the sickout. Sonny says he can’t provide nurses, but if he needs other workers, he can supply them. Griff says he’ll let him know. Sonny tells him about getting back together with Carly, and how they want to renew their vows with him officiating. Griff asks whose idea it was, and Sonny says it was his. He asks if it has anything to do with Sonny cheating on Carly.

Nelle goes through the mail at the office, but can’t find the envelope. She asks the mail guy where yesterday’s mail is, and he tells her that Bobbie was there organizing it for Carly.

Carly joins Bobbie. Nelle texts that she’s back, and Carly explains what happened with the cabin. Bobbie says Nelle is the reason she needed to see Carly. She says there’s no easy way, and tells her about Felicia investigating Nelle’s background, and that she found something big.

Michael says the board is deadlocked. Monica says there can be no resolution until Laura arrives. Obrecht says that’s where she comes in, to break the tie.

The pharmaceutical guy meets Finn at the bar. Finn says he researched the company, and they’re more about greed than healing people. He says the cure is mostly needed in underdeveloped countries. He believes they’re going to take his formula, tweak it, jack up the price, and make money. The guy says there are other applications, which is why they’re interested. Finn says no thanks, but the guy makes him an offer, doing that writing it on a piece of paper thing.

Griff tells Sonny that this is no way to move forward from one night stand, pretending that it didn’t happen. He says secrets are rarely kept, and how it comes out is what matters.

Nelle tells the mail guy that he shouldn’t have given Bobbie the mail, since she makes everything a bigger deal than it needs to be. He thinks it was just junk anyway. Nelle asks if she opened anything, but he doesn’t know.

Bobbie tells Carly that Nelle is bad news, and Carly will be hurt the most. Carly says she can handle it. Bobbie reminds her when Nelle decided not to take the job in Atlanta. Carly says it was because of Nelle’s boyfriend. Thinking Bobbie is focusing on Nelle’s boyfriend being married, she says that both she and Bobbie have made those mistakes. Bobbie tells her the S stands for Sonny. This is what Felicia found out? And she went to Atlanta to do it? I was hoping for something we didn’t know. Like the real connection between Nelle and Carly.

Finn slides the offer back. He’s not selling the formula unless it’s on his terms, which means getting it to the people who need it. Pharm guy says with this money he could find all kinds of cures. Finn says that he already did, and doesn’t want it out of his control. Never. Pharm guy writes another offer. Finn makes a hmmm… face, and says that’s a lot of money. He tears the paper in half. The pharm guy leaves his card in case Finn changes his mind.

Hayden wonders why Obrecht gets a vote. Tracy says she probably made herself an alternate during her reign of terror. Tracy says it’s not legal, but Michael says it is. Obrecht says that a privately owned hospital can turn away needy patients. Tracy is glad they’re both concerned with the less fortunate.

Olivia-J tells Julian that the board is going to be voting, and they’ll see if Julian lives or dies. He says she buys GH, then what? She says he’ll see, and that it’s going to be epic.

Alexis calls the police. They take the report, but won’t act on it, and Jason says it’s up to them. He finds a picture on Sam’s phone from inside Olivia-J’s car. Jason says he thinks he knows where it is, and tells Alexis who to contact in the meantime. He tells her that if she needs verification of anything, to call Curtis, and he takes off.

Sam is having contractions. She asks if Scout can wait. She starts to climb again, and has another contraction. She says they’re coming too fast.

Nelle tears the place apart looking for the envelope. She wonders what Bobbie did with it, and says she’d better not have given it to Carly, but thinks Michael or Carly would have said something to her by now.

Sonny tells Griff that Carly is close to the woman he slept with, and thinks she’s the greatest. Griff says if the truth comes out from someone else, that will make it worse. Sonny says he can’t figure out the woman’s game. He tells himself that she won’t say anything, but realizes it’s a huge risk.

Carly says, Nelle is having an affair with Sonny? Bobbie says Felicia found a friend of hers who said she’s involved with her boss’s husband. It’s serious, and she’s terrified that her boss will find out. Let me just stop here and wonder why on earth a friend of Nelle’s would tell Felicia this, when she claimed to be interviewing for a woman of the month story. Carly says Bobbie has never liked Nelle, and seems to have all the answers. Bobbie tells Carly that there were signs. Maybe she didn’t want to see them, but they were there. She says for one thing, Sonny always got weird when talking about Nelle, and warned Michael away from her. Carly says she knows Sonny. He would never do this, and she’s going to prove it.

Finn asks Monica how it’s going, and she says not good. At the meeting, Obrecht says the hospital is going under; it’s inevitable. If it’s going down, she doesn’t want the Quartermaines to have all the power. When she was Chief of Staff, Tracy voted to fire her, and that was a big mistake. She votes in favor of the real estate developer.

Julian gets a message about the vote. Olivia says she won GH and he won a stay of execution. Julian wants to find Sam.

Sam is busy going into labor. She asks Scout to wait, but doesn’t think Scout is listening. Jason arrives at the foot bridge. He calls out to Sam and she hears him. For the love of all that’s holy, Jason, just look down. He keeps calling, but Sam can’t answer.

Carly knocks on Nelle’s door. No answer. She starts to leave, but finds a key under the mat. She lets herself in. Really? She looks around. No Nelle. She says Sonny isn’t interested in Nelle, and doesn’t even like her. She sees the dialogue box about the Sonny file being deleted on Nelle’s laptop.

Sonny tells Griff that he was going to come clean to Carly, but she had the night planned and was so happy. He didn’t want to cause her more pain. Griff says it will be worse if she finds out from someone else. He can’t let that happen.

Nelle finds the envelope. She says everything is going to be okay, and Carly will never know.

Carly ponders why there would be a recording of Sonny, and why it would be deleted. She sees the phone in the wastebasket and wonders what’s on it. She sits on the couch with the laptop and plugs it in. Dammit! She plays the file. She hears Sonny say that under no circumstance is Carly to know that he and Nelle had sex.

Tomorrow, Monica says they’ll know any minute, Bobbie tells Nelle game over, and Jason is still calling for Sam who is a few feet away from him.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana suggests to Tom that Vegas is at the root of Schwartz and Katie’s issues. Tom asks what about the four years before that? Schwartz says he’s done, and doesn’t want to marry Katie.

We flash back to Jax’s big mouth about Schwartz’s dalliance, and Katie says maybe Ariana is right. She says she squelched her feelings, and didn’t want to discuss it to protect Schwartz. Stassi says she wishes she’d known, but it was during the time they were estranged.

Tom claims that Schwartz proposed because of an ultimatum. He thinks maybe Katie should have worked her own stuff out first. Scheana says he must love her, or he wouldn’t have done it. Tom screeches that Schwartz is a battered wife, and to look at him! He flings the door open to Schwartz sitting on the bed still in drag. So is Tom, and they look like something out of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Katie says that she must be the dumbest [sic] woman on the planet, and Jax doesn’t get why Schwartz doesn’t just apologize. He thinks Katie should demand the truth. Schwartz walks in. He calls Katie a bitch, and Stassi tells him to knock it off. He says he wishes cheating really was their problem, and stumbles back out.

Brittany brings up the altercation the night before, and doesn’t like how the guys were discussing Kristen without her being there. Kristen thinks Tom is just creating problems and should stay out of it. Katie talks to Stassi, saying that Schwartz only 20% admitted to cheating. Whatever that means. She felt that she’d put a lot of time into the relationship already, and didn’t want to let it ruin things. In his interview, Jax brings up how Tom keeps saying Schwartz couldn’t have cheated when he was so drunk. He says that when he’s drinking, his brain shuts down, not his other head. I’m guessing this actually depends on several factors, including the individual. Jax thinks this isn’t normal, and that Schwartz should call things off. He says that Schwartz should approach Katie and say they’re supposed to be a team. That sounds like two different things.

Jax asks the girls to clear out, and give Schwartz and Katie privacy, but Katie doesn’t want to talk. She says she’s not ready, and besides, Schwartz is still wearing a dress and sporting a smoky eye. She thinks he’s blackout drunk, and they should revisit things in the morning. Jax explains what happened in Vegas to Brittany, and that Schwartz basically admitted to hooking up. If my memory serves me right, I don’t think Schwartz ever actually said he did anything other than making out. It was Jax who kept assuming he’d had sex.

Stassi tells Schwartz he’s being an a-hole. He says he made out with a chick when he was drunk, and tells Stassi she had a good run with Patrick. Stassi wonders what her choices in men have to do with Schwartz cheating on Katie.

Katie tells someone to close the blinds, reminding me of Kari Wuhrer in Beastmaster 2. Schwartz is still staggering around in his dress. He goes to Jax and Brittany’s room. Ariana wakes up to Tom’s manicure. Tom says that Schwartz and Katie throw tantrums like toddlers, and wake up not even remembering what they were arguing about. Shay dips into some snacks he’s left next to the bed. Scheana thinks everyone should stay sober until the wedding. She tells Shay that it’s a good thing they’re doing a prenup. Scheana isn’t the brightest bulb in the SUR box, but occasionally, she can be the voice of reason.

In her interview, Stassi says Katie and Schwartz have been fighting about the same things for years. We flash back to some of that. She says she’s trying to support them as a couple, but it’s hard.

Lisa arrives at SUR. Cashier, Katie-O (ugh! double Katies now), wants to become a server, and Lisa says she’ll put her through the paces. She likes when people come through the ranks. She gives us several examples, and ends with James, who started as a busser, rose to a server, then a DJ, and then got fired.

Katie calls Lisa, telling her they’ve had some flare-ups. Lisa asks if they’re looking for problems. She says they shouldn’t be fighting now, and that there will be tough times ahead. She tells Katie to patch things up and get the relationship back on track.

Everyone gathers at the pool. Tom passes out shirts with funny names on them that he had made. Schwartz wonders what happened, and everyone wonders where Katie is. In his interview, Schwartz says the worst nightmare of a combined bachelor/bachelorette party has come true, and his best choice is to run away and start fresh somewhere.

Stassi, Katie and Kristen visit Stassi’s childhood home. Her father is putting it on the market, and she wants to see it one last time. She talks about the memories, and how she had so many sleepovers, her father started thinking she was a lesbian. She’s very hungover, and keeps throwing up. Her grandmother is also there, and she says her grandmother is everything she aspires to be, but her grandmother is way nicer. Stassi is getting sentimental, and Grandma says once everything is gone, it’s only a house. I am so down with that, having gone through the selling of my own childhood home when my father died. I’ve always said that once he was gone, it was just a house and no longer a home. They go down Memory Lane. We see some retro photos, and find out that Stassi’s grandmother is the one who named her.

Jax reminds Schwartz of all the things he said the night before, but Schwartz says he was just being cynical. Jax says they can’t afford another blow up. In his interview, Jax says sometimes you have to apologize whether you’re sorry or not. He says his father always tells him happy wife, happy life. Joe Giudice will tell you that too.

Katie says she needs at least twenty more hours of sleep. Stassi thinks the problem isn’t Tequila Katie, but Tequila Tom. Katie says the silver lining is that people finally got to see Schwartz at his worst. Stassi announces that the girls won the weekend.

Lisa goes through some role playing with Katie-O. She says it can be intimidating, but if a server can get past her, they can get past anyone. She says they can make or break a diner’s experience. Katie stumbles through the menu somewhat. Lisa says she has to know it inside out and upside down, and she’s not ready yet.

Katie tells Schwartz that he was coming at everyone last night, and he should just admit he slept with that girl. He says he didn’t. She says she’s not doing this anymore, but he wants to work through it, and wants her to drop the Vegas thing. He says she was a nightmare from the jump, and Katie tells him that he had an option. He put a ring on it, so stop throwing it in her face all the time. Schwartz sprays whipped cream into his mouth straight from the container, and Katie thinks that they should do this later. He takes a shot of vodka, and she suggests that he stop criticizing her and reminding her of every sh*tty thing she’s done. He asks her to stop bringing up Vegas. He says he loves her, and they should just have some fun. These two wear me out, and I’m just watching them on TV.

Katie calls Schwartz a Bridezilla. He wants to salvage the last night. Everyone goes to the bar. More shots! In his interview, Schwartz says heavy drinking tears them apart, but it’s also the glue that brings them back together. It’s a cycle, and a vicious one at times. I could say a lot here, but why bother? They move on to playing spin-the-bottle. In her interview, Scheana says she’s happy she’s married, since this group is crazy about kissing one another. Schwartz says this is his last kiss before getting married, and it’s Tom. Stassi gets Peter, who thinks it’s weird, because they dated briefly. Schwartz says the party should have been like this from the beginning. Peter and Stassi start getting into some serious kissing.

Tom joins Kristen, who is having a smoke outside. She tells him he’s a giant a-hole. She asks why he feels the need to talk to her boyfriend about her past. She says he stepped into the swamp, and she wants to know why he’d talk to Carter about things that happened years ago, adding that Carter knows more than he does. Tom says they were bombarding Schwartz, and Carter came into the situation, talking like he’d been there. Kristen says she’s a different person now. Tom apologizes, and says he doesn’t want to talk about the past, and wants them to be cool. We flash back to their weepy conversation in Miami. He says that book is closed.

Giggy! Harrison! Schnooky! Lisa sips tea and works, while she lounges in bed with the dogs. Ken joins them. She thinks they should do a young restaurant with some young partners. Maybe groom somebody to take the pressure off a bit. She wonders if, with some guidance, Tom might be ready. She says he’s an excellent bartender, and she believes he’s hungry. She and Ken banter. That’s not a euphemism for anything. They have some witty repartee. I have to add that even though he’s usually snoozing while being carried around, Giggy can be quite lively when there is the prospect of food.

A Murphy bed is pulled down in the bar (!), and the gang makes Katie lie on it, demanding that Schwartz give her a lap dance. Jax throws money at them, and Schwartz pulls down his pants. Everyone has a shot. Of booze. Scheana says their relationship is like being on a roller coaster. She hopes they don’t come crashing down when gravity happens.

Back in the girls’ suite, Stassi opens champagne. Tom talks to the guys about his conversation with Kristen. Katie draws on Schwartz’s face as he drifts off into a drunken stupor.

The next morning, Brittany says she feels like death. Jax is wearing a bra insert on his face, thinking it’s something for puffy eyes. Brittany asks him not to post any pictures of himself in drag on social media, since her mother has enough of an issue thinking he’s gay.

Shay tells Scheana that he thinks Schwartz has a lot of built up frustration, and that marriage means a lot of adjustment. He’s so wise, that Shay.

Stassi feels successful for going to NOLA and kissing a guy, even if the guy was Peter. Schwartz is glad he and Katie pulled things together. In his interview, he says any issues they haven’t resolved, they don’t have time for. They’re setting that bottle out to sea. Katie wants to put the wedding train back on the tracks.

Next time, the annual SUR pictures, Scheana feels left out, Stassi goes on a date, and Katie and Schwartz ask Lisa to officiate at the wedding.

🏊 Just a quick note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching when it’s convenient. These people are in their 30s with seriously good jobs – what has happened to the world? While I probably did drink a lot in my 30s, I didn’t behave like I was in middle school (or junior high, if you’re from my neck of the woods). Tonight, the gang got on a party bus with a stripper pole, and as with the proverbial train wreck, I couldn’t turn away. Everyone slinging back booze, publicly displaying various affections, and swinging from the rafters. Or at least from the pole. I have no doubt, had I been privy to the Hamptons during my youth, I would have partied, but Not. Like. This. I can’t even imagine what desperate need for attention would prompt this group to display their immature selves on TV. Isn’t anyone concerned that their boss might see this? I’m both flabbergasted and appalled.

💃 Little Women: LA starts its new season tomorrow, Tuesday at 9 pm. Opposite The Haves and the Have Nots and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Thanks, Lifetime! I really want to catch this season too, since Terra was on Dancing with the Stars. This week is the HAHN finale though, so hopefully this will only be painful the first time.


November 30, 2016 – It’s All About That GH & a Nod to the Little Side


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Franco wants Elizabeth to go with him to NYC for some decent coffee. There’s also an art exhibit he wants to see. She says she can’t just take off like that, but gets a clue and asks him what’s really up. He says they don’t have to go to the city, just away, because Tom Baker is at the hospital.

Nina visits Windemere. Valentin says he thinks Charlotte is missing her mother, and Nina’s visit will do her good. Nina gives Charlotte a beautifully wrapped box. Inside is a gorgeous doll, who Charlotte names Giselle. She asks if Nina will stay, and Nina says for a little bit. Valentin says she’s just what the doctor ordered; Charlotte likes Nina a lot.

Maxie opens a wedding present from Fiddy. We don’t see it, but she says he has good taste. The phone rings. It’s a call from France. Maxie thinks it’s Claudette.

Dillon stops by the MetroCourt and startles Kiki, who’s concentrating on Anna Karenina. She’d been reading it for a class at Vassar before she dropped out. Dillon points out how depressing it is. Kiki says it isn’t the content that’s getting to her, but what it represents. She talks about being a different person back then, and how she didn’t care what consequences her actions led to. Dillon tells her to quit punishing herself.

Nell eavesdrops on Carly and Sonny. Seeing two glasses on the table, Carly asks who was with Sonny last night, and he tells her it was Max. She asks when Max started wearing lipstick. Maybe that’s what the fight with Diane was about. Ha-ha!

Griff talks to Anna and Nathan, saying people don’t just disappear. Anna asks if there’s any info on the man who was with the airline passenger they think was Claudette. Nathan says he can only be partially seen in the photo, but the Canadian authorities are working on it. He says thy may have to face the possibility of not finding her. Anna says it’s possible she might be dead.

Maxie tells Claudette to slow down. Someone else gets on the phone, and the connection is severed. Maxie tries to call back.

Sonny tells Carly that Laura stopped by, and they talked about losing their children. She knew Sonny was alone, and Carly has Jax to help her. Carly says he went back to Australia because his mom is sick and there’s nothing else he can do here anyway. Sonny is skeptical, and Carly says she wants to tell him what happened between her and Jax.

Griff doesn’t want to accept that Claudette is dead. Nathan says they have to be realistic, and the trail is cold. Anna says she knows it’s not easy for Nathan either. Nathan says he knows now that everything Claudette did was to protect Charlotte from Valentin. Griff asks Anna if it’s over. He mentions that what Valentin said at the custody hearing upset her. She tells him it was a Latin phrase that means “open your eyes.”

Charlotte goes to introduce Giselle to her animals, Pinky the bear and Charlemagne the lion. Nina says Valentin must have helped with the lion’s name. He says that he knows what it’s like to be a child without love, and wanted Charlotte to experience things differently. Nina asks what his childhood was like, and he says that he didn’t grow up in a house like Windemere. Nina says growing up rich isn’t that great, and Valentin says he’d thought if he got money, power and prestige, it would fix everything. She asks what happened to him. He says he doesn’t usually talk about it, but maybe it’s time he did.

Kiki says she betrayed what she had with Morgan, and Dillon suggests maybe her reading material is a bad idea right now. He pretends to read from the book, but changes it to something about a trip to Aspen. Kiki is like, that’s not from the book, and he says it’s from Crimson. A top ten things to do article.

Carly tells Sonny that she was hurting badly, and did what she always does, hide from the pain by hurting herself worse, but she stopped. She says she kissed Jax, but he pulled back. She could have pursued it, but didn’t want to use her grief as an excuse to act out. She wants to tell him the truth, and wants honesty between them. Sonny says if she wants honesty now, it’s too late. What?

Elizabeth tells Franco that every time she asks him to do something, he does the opposite. I know the feeling. He explains how he’s tracking Tom with a GPS, and she asks if he wants to get arrested for stalking. He says Tom seems to be following her, and she suggests they go home and talk about it. They head in opposite directions, and Elizabeth comes face to face with Tom.

Nathan comes home and gets on the phone, speaking in French. After he hangs up, Nathan tells Maxie that the call was from Paris.

Anna tells Griff that he didn’t hear it from her, but “open your eyes” is the motto of the WSB training camp. It means to be alert to what’s right in front of you. Griff says he doesn’t believe Valentin pulled it out of the blue. Anna says there’s a connection between Valentin and the WSB.

Nina tells Valentin that she was a poor little rich girl with a distant father and a cold controlling mother; lots of toys, no love, and her only friend was a pony. Valentin says he was a bastard who never knew his mother, and was sent to boarding school by the time he was nine. He thinks his father possibly wanted to protect him from his stepmother, or just wanted him out of the way. He says by the time he got to Bedlington (is that where Spencer is now?), he was the youngest boarder. He never went home, not even for Christmas, and none of the other students invited him to their homes. He was different from the other kids.

Sonny tells Carly that Morgan is dead, like she forgot Carly asks if he thought she was jumping in bed with Jax, and he kind of nods. She says it wouldn’t have fixed anything, and just caused more pain, although it crossed her mind. She thanks him for calling and says sorry she didn’t call him back. She tells him to let her know if he needs anything, and leaves. Best timing of the century.

Nell comes down. She apologizes and says she never should have told him that Carly and Jax slept together. He says that’s why this happened. Nell says she should have left, but she felt badly for him, He tells her that he takes full responsibility doesn’t, even though he doesn’t remember anything. He says the good news is, it’s done, and Nell says. what if it isn’t?

Elizabeth asks Tom what he’s doing there. He says he didn’t know she was working there today. Franco suddenly appears, and asks why Tom is there and if he’s stalking Elizabeth. A guy walks up to them, saying Tom just got hired. He’s doing some construction work at the hospital and hires parolees because he believes in second chances. Tom says bizarre coincidence and he’s sorry. Hmm…

Maxie asks Nathan what’s going on. He says he ordered a wedding gift for her from Paris. He says they were supposed to call his cell; the landline was just a back-up number. She says now that she knows about it, he should tell her what it is, but that’s not happening. She pumps him for information, and he says she’s going to ruin the surprise. She says she has ways of making him talk, and they start to kiss. He tells her to keep trying.

Anna tells Griff that Valentine’s uncle was head of the WSB at one time, and nearly took the bureau down. Robert says there’s no record that Valentin was ever a recruit, and Griff reminds her that there are no records of him before 2011. He says maybe Valentin was using the phrase to get to her head; he probably did research. Anna wonders why he seemed familiar though, and thinks he was being specific. He knows something about her and her time when she was a recruit. Griff wonders what that could be, and she says she’s going to find out.

Valentin tells Nina that he never fit in at school. After that, he went looking for trouble, and found it many times over. She says she knows how it feels to be an outsider, longing for love and acceptance. She says she’ll tell him about it sometime. He says he’d love to have a lot more of her time.

Kiki is off work. Dillon hands her his phone with the Crimson article on it. She says be honest, they have to know how ridiculous the articles are. He jokes that they put their heart and soul into them. She says these are the kinds of fantasies that make you jealous, and he says that’s the point. He shows her something about seeing Niagara Falls for free, and says they could take a day trip. How far upstate are they? Carly walks in and sees them sitting at a table together.

Nell tells Sonny that she doesn’t know if she can look Carly in the face again. Sonny says it was a lapse in judgement that’s not happening again. Nell says that Carly is going to know something is wrong, and maybe they should tell her the truth. Sonny says that’s not going to happen.

Carly asks to talk to Kiki and Dillon excuses himself. Kiki tells Carly she’s off the clock, and asks what she wants to talk about. Carly tells her never mind. Kiki says she knows how Carly feels about her, and that when Carly sees her, she thinks about her breaking Morgan’s heart. She thinks maybe it’s time for her to move on.

Sonny tells Nell to get herself together, and under no circumstances are they telling Carly. It won’t benefit anybody. Nell says he’s right; it will only cause more pain, and she just didn’t think it through. He says you think confessing is going to wipe the slate clean, but you have to think about the consequences. He tells her again that he takes full responsibility, and apologizes. He says if she needs anything moving forward, he’s there to help. Nell leaves. When she gets outside, she takes out her phone.

Nina has to get to work. She asks Valentin to tell Charlotte that she had to go to the office, but she’ll be looking for purple outfits for Giselle. She tells him that if he needs any help to let her know. He kisses her at the door and Anna pops out of nowhere. Second best timing of the century.

Tom leaves with his boss. He drops a hammer and Franco puts his foot on it. He says Tom isn’t fooling him, and he’s watching him. He knew he’d show up here, and he’ll know if he ever comes back. Tom calls him a freak, and Franco slams him against the wall.

Basking in the afterglow, Maxie says Nathan might as well tell her. He won’t, and she tells him not to make her go to extreme measures. He says show him what she has, and they start kissing again.

Nina leaves, and Valentin asks Anna what he can do for her. She asks him what he meant by the phrase “open your eyes,” and he says she already knows.

Griff breaks up the fight between Franco and Tom. Franco tells Tom that if he goes near Elizabeth again, he’ll kill him. Not wise words to say in public.

Kiki says whenever she and Carly see each other, they’re hit again by the pain, so it might be better if she moves on. Carly says it’s a mature decision, and she’ll give Kiki severance pay, as well as a good recommendation. Kiki thanks Carly, and says she’s sorry. Carly says she knows Kiki did the best she could, and is no position to judge. She wants to figure out how to get through the grief and honor Morgan by moving forward, but it’s hard. She wants to avoid unnecessary pain.

Nell listens to her recording of Sonny saying they slept together, not to tell Carly, and that he takes full responsibility. Inside, Sonny throws a glass at the fireplace. Nell looks smug as she looks at the phone.

Tomorrow, Anna doesn’t believe Valentin, Laura is afraid to move forward with Doc, and Franco attacks Tom again.

A Little Recommendation

💍 I’m loving Little Weddings. It combines the little people I love with a family run wedding business. It seems like when a reality show cast has something else to focus on, rather than just each other, there’s less chance of physical altercations. Not that the wedding business, as well as being in it with family, isn’t fraught with angst, but none of these people are throwing anything except bouquets. Kelly is the boss, with sisters Kacy and Kensey, and brother T.J. involved. T.J. also has an upcoming wedding of his own, so that’s a subplot itself. He and Kelly butt heads so much, it’s questionable as to whether she’ll end up being the planner. It’s a lovely family, and the gorgeous weddings are a fabulous plus.

👢 Too bad I can’t say the same for Little Women: Dallas. It hasn’t even been on that long, and has already degenerated into Little Women: Atlanta territory. And no wonder, since there are a few crossover cast members, and another who could pass for Miss Juicy’s sister. It’s only episode five, and we have a pending police report and/or lawsuit. At least Little Women: LA waited several seasons for that. It’s one of those shows that’s on my radar, because there are some good moments, but it’s no tragedy if I miss it.

November 16, 2016 – Lucy & Scotty Team Up, Little LA Wraps It Up & a Roanoke Mention


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn ponders Hayden sleeping. She wakes a little, and asks what he’s done to her.

Elizabeth tries to call Franco.

Does Franco have a man bun? Please, no. The phone rings but he doesn’t answer. He tells Tom he’s there about Elizabeth, the girl Tom raped. He flings himself on Tom and pummels him.

Jax and Alexis go to lunch at some out-of-the-way dive. She says no one they know will see them there, and he asks if she’s ready for the drink he promised. I’ll bet she is.

Ava sees Scotty at The Floating Rib. He says Lucy wants to be wined and dined, and they’re meeting for dinner there. He tries to get Ava to leave so Lucy won’t be suspicious, but she’s meeting Kiki. Too late anyway; Lucy walks in.

Michael asks Nell to distract him. Give him something else to think about. Well…

Carly visits Sonny in the clink.

Scotty suggests he and Lucy go to her apartment. She says it’s not a booty call. Wine and dine her, and maybe they’ll discuss it. He says he doesn’t want Ava to make her lose her appetite. Kiki comes in and Lucy says just ignore them. She suggests they start with champagne.

Alexis downs half of her drink before Jax can even make a toast. He asks about her having a hard time right now, and she says it’s definitely up there as far as anxiety goes. She blames herself for Julian not going to prison, and says she’s the reason everything got out of control. Jax tells her that sometimes the choices they make out of love come back to haunt them for the rest of their days. She asks him what’s up with that, and he says he can’t tell anyone else. He did something in secret years ago that could ruin Carly’s life.

Sonny is surprised that Carly came to see him, and Carly says she is too. She read his letter about how he divided all of his assets. He says he owed it to Morgan. She asks if he still feels that way, and says Jason filled her in. She asks if that changes anything.

Despite what we all had in mind, Nell suggests backgammon, but Michael is thinking chess. Nell says he’ll slaughter her because he’s a strategy king. He says she’s quitting before they start, and she tells him to bring out the chessboard.

Hayden is confused, and Finn tells her she went into septic shock. He tells her that she’s at the Quartermaines’. There was a problem at the hospital, and Tracy stepped in. Hayden asks what’s going to happen to her.

Elizabeth leaves a message for Franco, telling him not to hurt Tom. If he does, he goes to prison. She says she’s coming there to get him, even though she never wants to lay eyes on Tom again.

Franco tosses Tom around like a football. Tom says he wasn’t in prison for rape. Franco says he did his homework and knows everything about Tom. He says there’s no record of him harming Elizabeth, but he knows Tom raped her, and it’s time for him to pay for his crime.

Finn tells Hayden that it’s too soon to make a diagnosis. She asks if she’s going to have what he has, but he doesn’t know yet. She says if this is how he feels all the time, she doesn’t know how he does it. He says that’s why the medication is important, and she needs to rest. She asks what happened at the hospital. He says there was an altercation and he quit. She asks how he’s going to treat her.

Elizabeth gets a call from Finn. She tells him she’s in the middle of a personal emergency, but he says he has his own going on. He’s out of antibiotics. He asks her to help save her sister’s life.

Tom says his brother is coming home soon, and Franco will be arrested. Franco says they’re two people who happen to be sociopaths. He introduces himself, and Tom says they talk about him beating the system in prison. Franco says it seems like there’s always going to be a part of him that’s a sadistic freak. Tom says Franco can change. He did.

Carly wants to know why Morgan was manic. She tells Sonny that Morgan’s journal proves that he was vigilant in taking his medication. It’s obvious the pills weren’t working. Sonny says he’s looking for other answers. Like who killed Morgan.

Ava asks Kiki if she wants to go somewhere else instead of where she works. She says it‘s fine. She tells Ava that it’s not just about feeling guilty, she misses Morgan, the way he listened and made her laugh. She asks if Ava heard about how they filled Morgan’s coffin with things he loved because there was no body. Ava says she was there.

Scotty suggests he and Lucy get some food to go. She says it sounds yummy, but she knows what he’s doing. She has something he wants, and he says yeah, a hot body. She says it’s something else, and he says he’d like her heart too. She says what he wants is what she has right there, and shows him the pill bottle. It’s a brilliant idea to be holding that up in a public place. Maybe she should talk louder too.

Tom insists to Franco that he’s been rehabilitated. He grew and changed, and is a counselor now. He says he wants to be an asset to society instead of a drain. He swears he could never force himself on a woman again. Franco says he doesn’t care.

Hayden asks if she has the same thing that’s killing Finn. He says they have to do more tests, but you don’t go into septic shock unless there’s a massive infection. He’s going to do everything he can for her. She says there’s no cure, and that means she’s dying. She says she’s sure that makes him happy. I have no clue why she would say that, or why Finn doesn’t respond to her saying that.

Jax tells Alexis that when Josslyn needed a kidney donor, he would have done anything. He talks about how Carly thought the donor was Jake, but found out otherwise, and then searched for the real donor. He says at the time, he’d put out feelers everywhere, and Alexis asks him if the black market was involved. He says he would have done anything regardless of the consequences.

Nell is beating Michael at chess, and she says they could switch to poker, but she supposes he’s a master at that too. He talks about Sonny having owned a casino and how Jax is a poker wiz. Nell thinks he must be letting her win.

Lucy says Ava wants Scotty to romance her so everyone won’t find out what she did. She asks if he thinks she’s dense. She tells him to man up and own it.

Kiki reminds Ava that she’d said she wasn’t going to the funeral. Ava says she needed closure too, and she snuck in as everyone else was leaving. Kiki says she missed Sonny’s confession.

Carly asks what Sonny is going to do. He says for one thing, not go to prison. Carly says she was against that anyway, since his kids need him; it would have been a waste. She asks if he’s going to retaliate when Jason finds out who’s responsible. Sonny says she’s asking him to move steps ahead from where he is. He says everything happened so quickly, he hasn’t been able to process anything yet. He knows the answer she wants, but he can’t say it. She says that’s her answer.

Jax tells Alexis about Nell showing up, and how she told Carly the story about her parents selling one of her kidneys. Alexis asks if Carly knows about his involvement, but he’s not sure.

Nell says Michael is genuinely kind, which she finds a rare quality. He says ditto, and talks about everything she’s done for his family. She says that’s different. When she showed up, she needed answers. Carly gave them to her and then offered her a job. She says there’s nothing kind about it. Michael wins the chess game.

Elizabeth brings the antibiotics to Finn. Hayden says she’s dying. When Elizabeth asks why she thinks that, Hayden tells her that she was just being dramatic. Elizabeth asks Finn about Hayden being infected, and says it must be serious if she went into shock. She gets a text from Franco and says she has to go. She hopes Hayden feels better, and tells Finn that the next time he wants her to do something illegal, a little honesty would be nice.

Franco starts choking Tom. Tom tells Franco he’s sorry about Elizabeth. Franco says Tom took away a life, the life Elizabeth knew. He made her afraid and robbed her. Tom says he’s sorry, and Franco says he is too, sorry Tom got paroled. Tom swears he’ll never come near Elizabeth again. Franco asks if Tom’s pals in prison told him that Franco gets off on watching people suffer. Tom begs Franco not to kill him.

Scotty admits he was trying to get the pills. Lucy says it’s not okay, and wonders why he’s being loyal to Ava over her. He says if Ava owed him a favor, it’s good to have a mobster in your pocket. Lucy asks if he was going to steal them before or after they had sex. He says definitely after, and she punches him. She says considering their history, she’s sad and disappointed that he tried to make a fool out of her for Ava. She mentions that Kiki doesn’t know Ava was sleeping with Morgan before he died. Lucy decides to tell Kiki everything.

Ava is stunned that Sonny confessed, and Kiki tells her that he took responsibility for Morgan’s death. Ava asks if he was arrested, and Kiki says Jordan was waiting until got to the station. Kiki wonders why Ava isn’t thrilled about it.

Michael asks if Nell wants a rematch. She’s about to move a chess piece, and he touches her hand, saying she doesn’t want to make that move.

Alexis thinks Jax should tell Carly. He says it’s not the best time. She asks what he’s not telling her, and he says now isn’t the time for that either, and asks for the check. She says she thinks she’ll stay, and he asks why.

Sonny tells Carly that he doesn’t have all the information, so he can’t make a decision. She says look at where he’s standing, look at their reality. They’re the the parents of a dead son, and up until a half hour ago, he thought he was responsible. She asks if he’s learned anything.

Scotty tells Lucy that Kiki just buried her boyfriend. Lucy tells him not to guilt her. He says what if it was Serina? He thinks the reason why Lucy is holding the pills is the reason that’s motivating him – they both want to have something on Ava, and if Lucy gives the sword away, they lose leverage. He suggests she throw in with him and they take Ava to the cleaners

Ava tells Kiki that Sonny did right by Morgan, which is more than she can say for herself.

Nell thinks maybe a rematch isnt a good idea. It’s too easy to like Michael, and it’s not good for either of them. She works for his mother, and if they get close, it could get awkward. He says she went from touching hands to a bad break up in 20 seconds. Ha-ha! He says his family is falling apart, and whether she likes it or not, he considers her a friend. She says she can handle a friendship, and that his family isn’t falling apart, because he won’t let them. He still wants the rematch, but she tells him not to be so certain he’ll win. She’s off to buy a book on chess.

Carly asks Sonny if Morgan’s death doesn’t count for anything. She says he’s telling her that if Jason finds the killer, he’ll do the same thing all over again. She says she loves him and always will, and she’s glad he didn’t kill Morgan, but something has to change. If not him, it has to be her. She walks out.

Alexis tells Jax that she has phone calls to make and she’ll take an Uber home. Jax pays the check and asks her if she’s sure. She says she’s a big girl. He tells her to take care of herself and leaves. She asks for another drink.

Hayden asks Finn what happens next. He can’t get back in the hospital for his research, he’s running low on medication, and now he has to share it. He says it’s not all bad, Roxie is here. He tells Hayden that he has no answers right now, but he knows he’s not going to let her die. She says they’re in it together now.

At the hospital, Elizabeth makes a call asking about the pathogen found in Finn’s lab, and says to call her back with the information. Franco walks in, and she asks what he was thinking and what he did. He says Tom is never coming after her again, and she doesn’t need to be afraid anymore.

Tom sits down across from Alexis and offers to pay for her drink. I go, oh! out loud.

Tomorrow, Jax can’t find Alexis, the custody hearing happens, and Carly grills Michael about Nell.

Little Women: LA – The Reunion – Part Two

We jump right into Christy’s sobriety struggles. She says she’s been sober for over six years and she only had a problem with alcohol. We flash back to some of the girls thinking she was taking pills. Kevin pumps her about a possible relapse. Silence. She walks off to get a tissue, and then insists she hasn’t relapsed. Kevin asks Jasmine if it’s fair and she says no; if you haven’t seen it happen, you can’t accuse someone. Christy says she’s been stressed lately because of her daughter’s and father’s health issues. We see some clips of her being stressed.

Todd talks about watching Christy going through her struggles. He says he’d be on pain pills, but she does everything in her power not to go there. Tonya suggests Christy should be focusing on that instead of Briana. Terra says everyone is going trough crap, whether she knows it or not. She says she went through ovary cyst surgery herself, but she shouldn’t use situations at home as an excuse for acting out on her friends.

Kevin asks if she feels isolated, and Christy says a little. She doesn’t know if the girls are her friends anymore, with the exception of Jasmine and Elena. Tonya is on the fence. So I guess that leaves Terra and Briana. Elena says she tried to fix what was broken. She feels that there’s a future for Briana and Christy’s friendship. She says it’s different with Terra though, because of the police report. She talks about Briana waffling on forgiving Christy. Briana says she was pushed too much. She says she was there for Christy, but not vice versa. Moving on.

We take a look at Little LA’s maternity ward. Kevin suggests there was something in the water, and I tend to agree. He asks if they got a hospital discount. He asks Jasmine how her pregnancy is going. She has gestational diabetes, and is hoping to take care of it with diet. He asks about Elena’s twins. She says they’re growing so fast, before she knows it, they’re going to be in college. She’s sleeping four hours tops, and Terra says four hours sounds like heaven. She says Penny is doing well with D’Artagnan as long as he’s sleeping, but she is showing a jealous streak. Briana talks about her health scare.

The babies’ names are discussed. I love all of them. Unusual without being freaky or embarrassing. They talk about Joe’s opposition to the name D’Artagnan. Terra says he was fine with it until his family got involved. Kevin asks Jasmine if she has anything picked out, but not yet. Or maybe she’s just not telling.

Preston, Chris and Kerwin join the ladies. We see the clip of Tonya saying she thought Briana would have an easier time with a little baby and how that got so blown out of proportion. Tonya sticks by her original comment. Briana says it’s all in how she parents, and she feels Tonya discredited her as a person. She says Tonya has commended her in the past, so she was caught off guard. Jasmine says she was irritated because Tonya is the mother of an average sized daughter. It made her wonder if Tonya thought she’s not a good parent, since she also has an average sized child. Terra says a little child can run over you too. Tonya says Briana and Matt seem to be doing well now, so she thinks it will be fine.

They talks about genetic testing and why it’s important. Terra says it gives you an idea of what to expect with medical problems. Preston says as long as they’re healthy, it doesn’t matter. Kerwin talks about not caring when Angelique was born. Terra says they all feel the same way – they don’t care, but it’s nice to be prepared. We say good-by to the guys.

We revisit Christy’s casino night and the survival retreat. Kevin questions Christy about adding the medical report to the invitation. Christy gives a convoluted explanation. Tonya and Elena talk about Christy’s friends attacking them. Kevin says funny they should mention that, and brings out Karla and Rhonnie. He asks why Christy brought them. Christy says she didn’t think anyone was going to show up, but Elena says they were definitely prepared for the group. Rhonnie says no one has Christy’s back. She points a finger at everyone and tells them what their problems are. Kevin asks how she can suddenly give them a personality evaluation, and I wonder if the two of them are bucking to be on the show. Tonya says they should have waited until Christy got jumped before coming to her defense. Good luck, Rhonnie, getting that glitter eye-shadow off.

Elena says Christy brought them to have someone to help her, and Christy admits that’s true. Jasmine says she read the text from Briana because they wanted her to, and then got flack for it. Jasmine doesn’t want to hear it and Kevin tells the two girls adios.

Nooo! It’s the athletic-wear logo discussion. We flash back to all that. Tonya says she understood some of the criticism, but feels Terra went overboard and hurt her feelings. Terra says she just didn’t see the lotus flower symbolizing Tonya. Kevin asks if it was payback for Tonya ignoring when Penny was born. Terra says she thinks of Tonya as more kick-ass than zen. There’s a mini (no pun intended) argument between Elena and Tonya about Elena’s clothing line. Tonya asks why Elena stopped working on it, and she says she got interested in something else. Tonya says her line will be out soon, and Kevin says maybe the logo will change by then because he’s an idiot.

Kevin asks what everyone thinks about Terra competing on Dancing with the Stars. Elena says she was concerned about Terra starting too soon after the c-section. She admires Terra’s strength, but doesn’t think she could do it. She talks about Terra missing out on the kids and Terra says she does feel like she’s missing out, but she wants to prove to herself and her children that she can do it. She says the first two weeks of rehearsal were hell, but she’s good now. Kevin asks Tonya how she feels, since she’d also wanted to do it, and Tonya says she’s proud of Terra. They discuss Terra’s placenta eating, and Elena says it reminds her of Silence of the Lambs. Ha-ha!

Christy thinks Terra gets opportunities that the others don’t because she’s an executive producer of the show. Yeah, it can’t be because she’s actually talented. Christy says Briana wanted to do DWTS too. Briana says Terra had better means of representation and complains about her ex-publicist. Elena says she doesn’t think it would have happened for Briana anyway. Ouch! Terra says she hopes there’s no jealousy, and Briana says she’s happy with how everything is.

Kevin asks Christy where she thinks they go from here. She says they can continue to fight or move on, and she wants to move on. She promises to stay out of Briana’s life and no comment on the support or lack thereof.

Tonya is taking one day at a time, and having her launch party soon. Elena is ready for a third baby. She wants to get it out of the way so she can have her body back. Jasmine tells us that she’s having either a boy or a girl. Everyone thinks it’s a girl except Terra. Jasmine says she’ll let them know next season, thereby telling us they’ve been renewed.

Kevin thanks everyone and congratulates them on season 6, airing next year, confirming that they’ve been renewed.

👻 Just a word on American Horror Story: Roanoke. I really enjoyed this season. I loved the shows within the shows. It definitely held my interest, and went by way too quickly. The casting was excellent – and I’m sure a lot of fun for Sarah Paulson and Kathy Bates, who both got to go to town. I’m already curious as to what the next installment has in store for us.

November 9, 2016 – Jax Returns, Little LA’s Reunion Heats Up & Kyle Gets His Drag On


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

In the church, Carly talks to God. She talks about Sonny raising the kids to believe in heaven and that there’s a better place. She doesn’t know if she believes that, but says Morgan must be there, and asks that he be safe and protected. Sonny is in the doorway and hears her. He says he couldn’t protect Morgan.

Maxie is late getting home, but Nathan has candles going already for a romantic evening. He tells her that the last time they tried this, the Claudette/Charlotte debacle happened. This time, no interruptions. There’s a knock at the door.

Nina goes to the bar. Valentin is there and tries to flirt with her. She tells him that she’s putting together a bachelorette party. She sees a baby picture of Charlotte on his phone and he tells her that’s his daughter.

Finn looks at Hayden’s hands and she asks what she just gave herself. Cool. He’ll have a purpose again.

Michael reads an old letter to Nell. It’s from Morgan when he was away at military school. (!) Michael explains that Carly wanted Morgan to be safe, so she sent him away to a military academy. He talks about how Morgan called him Mikey and he hated it, but would give anything to hear him say it again.

Sonny apologizes to Carly for interrupting. Carly tells him that the funeral is tomorrow. She says Jason is right, Sonny isn’t well, and he has other kids to take care of. Sonny says he will, and they’ll understand. He goes on about his Morgan guilt and Carly tells him not to. Griff pops in and tells Carly there’s something she should know.

There’s a mail delivery for Nathan. It’s a letter from Amelia Beaulieu (Claudette’s last name) in Quebec.

Nina says Valentin never mentioned he’s a father, and he says there are a lot of things she doesn’t know about him. He tells her that Charlotte is his pride and joy. Nina starts to tell him about how she’d thought Charlotte was her niece at first, but he shakes his head and says he’s her father.

As the smoke alarm blares, Alexis takes Danny outside. She tells him if she doesn’t come back in a minute, to get a neighbor to call 911. He counts, but she comes back out by the time he gets to 17.

Finn has Hayden wash her hands. He says she touched the same thing that infected him.

Danny asks about the cookies, but Alexis says they’re lumps of coal now, with fire extinguisher whatever on them. Laura drops by, and Alexis makes something up about needing a new oven timer. Laura asks if Valentin has any legal claim to the estate. Alexis tells her they’ll talk after she puts Danny to bed, and takes him upstairs. Laura sees the wine bottle.

Griff tells Carly that he can’t walk away from what he heard, and Carly says it’s none of his business. Griff tells her that Sonny canceled the hit. She says she knows that Griff means well, but Sonny already told her. She says she believes him; he would never lie to her about something this important, but it was still too late.

Nell says it’s clear how much Morgan loved Michael. Michael talks about their childhood, how they had bodyguards and were sometimes sent to a private island when things got dicey. He tells her that all they had was each other. He wonders if the memories count when there’s no one to share them with. (That’s so sad!) Nell tells him to share them with Avery. He blames himself again, and Nell says it was an accident. Michael says it was a series of bad decisions with Sonny’s being the worst. Sonny could have made different choices, but didn’t . Nell thinks back about looking at the note in Carly’s office.

Finn tells Hayden that the virus isn’t airborne, but enters through an open wound. He asks why she was there, and she says she came to warn him about Brad’s complaints. Finn realizes she has a cut on her finger. He says a cut of any size could be dangerous.

Alexis comes back downstairs, telling Laura they can go over the paperwork now. She sees Laura eyeballing the wine, but Laura asks if she can have a glass. Alexis is visibly relieved. She tells Laura that the documents Nicholas was forced to sign are invalid because they’re not notarized, but the ones from Mikkos are, and they supercede any claim that Nicholas or Spencer had to the Cassadine estate.

Nina asks Valentin if he realizes he’s the third father Charlotte has had in as many weeks. He tells Nina that he has a birth certificate, and he’s getting a DNA test. He wants to talk to her over a drink, but she says no. He says he thought she was a more independent thinker, and Nina gets annoyed when he calls her a sheep.

Nathan reads the letter to Maxie. Amelia writes that Claudette told her that if she doesn’t hear from her in a certain amount of time, to pass the enclosed on to Nathan. Nathan tells Maxie it’s official that something has happened to Claudette.

Sonny tells Griff that the truth sets you free, but if he hadn’t started things, Morgan would be alive. He says maybe the call was too late or they ignored it, but it doesn’t matter. His son is dead, and now God is punishing him for the life he’s been leading for as along as he can remember.

Nell says it’s hard to recognize the point of no return until it’s passed. 20/20 hindsight and all that. Michael says when you drag someone else along with you, then you’d better think about consequences before you do what you can’t take back. Carly comes in, and Michael leaves to talk to Olivia about the reception. Carly joins Nell. She says she’s worried about Michael. Nell says that he’s strong and it helps him to handle things. Carly says that she’s leaving Sonny to grieve alone. Part of her wants to run to him, because he knows the pain she’s feeling, but she’s reminded of what she’s lost when she sees him. Jax appears out of nowhere, and says if she needs someone to lean on, he’ll be there.

Laura wonders why Mikkos’s documents didn’t show up before, and Alexis thinks Mikkos was hiding them from Helena. She says whoever was holding onto it after she died must have thought it was now safe to give it to Valentin. Alexis says Helena is dead for real this time, which makes me think Helena isn’t dead. Laura wonders why Valentin murdered Nicholas, and says that Nicholas died for no reason.

Finn gives Hayden some pills. He doesn’t want to be the reason someone else dies from the virus.

Jax tells Carly that as soon as he got Michael’s message, he came straight to Port Charles. Carly says Josslyn will need him. Nell excuses herself, and Carly explains that Nell is her assistant now. Jax goes down Memory Lane about taking Michael and Morgan to DisneyWorld. He thanks her for sharing Morgan with him. She thanks Jax for loving him and giving him a happy home for a while. She tells him go ahead and say that she’s a fool, thoughtless, reckless, and selfish to have let Sonny back in her life.

Griff tells Sonny that God doesn’t work that way. Sonny says He does in the Old Testament. Griff says that’s why He gave us a New Testament, based on compassion and forgiveness. Sonny says he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, and Griff says it’s not his call. If he’s truly repentant, he’ll be forgiven. Sonny says those around him are always punished, and he’s taking responsibility tomorrow. Griff asks what he means.

Jax asks if Carly really thinks he’s going to say, “I told you so,” and she says not really. He says he loved Morgan and is going to miss him like crazy. In the hallway, Nell tells Michael that Jax is there. Michael says he’s glad that Carly has someone to lean on. Michael tells Nell that they have to get something clear.

Griff tells Sonny whatever he says is in confidence. Sonny says he’s always made up his own rules and code. When you’re like that, you’re always running, and he didn’t know if he could run fast enough. Now his son is dead, and he can’t run anymore. He’s done. Griff asks when he last slept. Sonny says he’ll get rest when it’s over, and no offense, Griff doesn’t look so hot either. Griff says his life has done a 180, and he’s questioning everything. He thought the priesthood was no longer his calling, but recent events caused him to reconsider. He wonders if God is telling him to pick up the collar again

Nathan wonders if someone got to Claudette. Maxie reads the letter. Claudette says if the letter is being read, the truth is out. She’s sorry for the lies, but she was only trying to protect Charlotte from Valentin. She says if Nathan is reading this, something has happened to her, and Valentin probably did it. Claudette writes that if Valentin finds Charlotte, something bad will happen, and to please protect her.

Nina tells Valentine about Maxie’s kidnapping, but he says he wan’t involved. He says what if what everyone is saying isn’t true? He would love to tell her everything, and how he would never let any harm to come to Charlotte or her mother, or she can believe what everyone is saying.

Alexis tells Laura that Nicholas died a hero, and to grieve his death, but don’t think it was meaningless. Laura says she’s right, and thanks her. Alexis apologizes for not having better news. Laura tells Alexis that she’s going to pack; she doesn’t want to be there when Valentin comes back. Laura leaves, and Alexis looks at the wine bottle. She puts “do I have a drinking problem” in Spyder Finder.

Finn tells Hayden that it’s like his wife all over again. She tried to get close to him and protect him. Hayden says she’s not his wife, and she’s not going to die. He wants her to get some tests and be monitored. She says nothing is wrong, and he needs to clean up the spill. He throws cat litter on it. Really? On toxic waste? Suddenly, Hayden is gone. Finn runs after her.

Danny comes downstairs. He’s worried about the smoke and Alexis says she’ll keep him safe.

Carly tells Jax she’s glad he’s there. They hug.

Michael thanks Nell for stepping into the middle of dysfunctional mess. She says she likes his family; dysfunctional or not, they’re good people. They say good night. Nell sees Jax hugging Carly. I get the distinct impression that Nell does not approve.

Sonny asks Griff about the priesthood. Griff says he took vows, and maybe if he keeps them, it will be better for everyone. Sonny wishes him luck, and says his father would be proud of him. He asks Griff to come to the funeral, and Griff says he would be honored. He tells Griff to take care of his family afterward, and leaves. Griff looks after him worriedly. Although that seems to be Griff’s natural expression. One of my dogs is like that. He has a perpetual worried look.

Maxie tells Nathan that Claudette lied for her daughter. She says he’s going to fight Valentin and she’s going to help.

Valentin tells Nina that he wishes Charlotte had a mother. Ding-ding-ding! The magic word. He orders a drink for Nina, and she smiles at him.

Hayden runs into Windemere. She apologizes for startling Laura. Laura tells Hayden about Valentin. She says she’s moving out and suggests that Hayden do the same. Hayden says it’s the least of her problems right now. Laura asks if she’s okay, and she says she just had a bad day at work.

Finn calls Hayden. He leaves a message that if she’s infected, it’s serious – a matter of life or death – and begs her to come back.

Hayden starts feeling warm and begins to hyperventilate. She passes out. The wind blows the window shut and the candles go out.

Tomorrow, Sam asks Alexis if she was drinking while watching Danny, Nell tells Sonny he’s making a mistake, and Elizabeth thinks Finn is an addict.

Little Women: LA – Reunion Part One

Gorgeous dresses a size smaller. I love Elena’s hair – she has blue ombre through the bottom half and it looks smashing. We flash back through the highlights of the season. Babies, lotus blossoms, Christy, Christy, Christy, Plastic, f-yous, fingers in faces. Host Kevin Frazier asks them how they all felt about it. Terra says there were highs and lows, and Briana says they’ve grown.

Kevin tells us that we’re jumping right into it, and brings out Matt. We flash back to Matt’s untrustworthiness and the infamous Plastic. Briana says she trusts Matt now, and Kevin asks stupid questions. He asks if the rest of the group believes Matt and crickets chirp. Christy claims the women asked her for proof and Tonya squashes that. Christy admits to being in contact with Plastic, and Matt says it was ages ago; he doesn’t even have any social media accounts now. He adds that he’d like to see proof that he said he has a fetish.

Christy talks about how she met Plastic through Briana, and Briana says Plastic wanted to ride some coattails onto the show. Christy says that Plastic came to her. Kevin says Plastic is going to join the group, and Briana and Matt walk out.

Plastic enters. Matt and Briana lose their mics and decide to leave. They shut the dressing room door behind them. Plastic tells Kevin that Briana doesn’t have coattails to ride, and she became friends with Briana because she felt sorry for her. She says Briana is desperate for attention and tries to climb the social ladder. Although I’m not sure what kind of social ladder this would be considered. Plastic claims to have a bigger career than Briana, but no one has ever heard of her, including me. She tells them that she and Matt started talking online and he started getting inappropriate. Christy says he’s not to be trusted. Jasmine asks about proof, and Plastic claims that when Matt deleted his account, it all disappeared, but that’s not how any of this works.

Kevin asks if Plastic has apologized to Briana, but she doesn’t think she needs to because Matt instigated things. Tonya brings up the photo shoot, and how she was gracious enough to invite Christy, but then Plastic showed up, yapping about things no one cared about. Within seconds, Plastic, Terra and Tonya are all talking at once. Plastic claims that later on, Tonya called up and insulted her about her transness again, and she’s releasing the recordings. Kevin suggests she break out the recordings right now, but like the losers on the court shows, she left the evidence at home. Terra says no way it was Tonya. Kevin asks what Plastic wants out of this.

Plastic goes on about how badly she was treated. She says she wanted to clear her name, not gain notoriety. Kevin asks if Tonya has a problem with trans people. She says of course not. Christy says that she doesn’t think Tonya was thinking when she spoke, and Tonya texted her later, apologizing. Kevin tells Plastic good-by. Well, that was uneventful.

Briana is back, without Matt. Briana says he’s tired of being harassed about their relationship. Kevin asks about her family thinking that Matt is isolating her. He asks if she can understand their concern, but Briana feels that it’s nobody’s business. Kevin tells her Radar Online is all interested in her now, but she doesn’t want to answer any questions. She says she talked about it in the beginning, but it’s not like she’s giving regular updates. Briana tells them that her family heard about Matt’s past and refused to give him a chance. They didn’t even meet him, but still formed a negative opinion.

Tonya admits the ladies weren’t impressed either. Briana says she feels that the girls were coming from a good place, but not so much her family. She isn’t sure about Christy. Christy admits she’d said that she wasn’t going to get involved, but when she met Plastic, she changed her mind. Tonya says they did tell Christy not to talk to Briana’s family. Christy agrees it wasn’t her place, but adds that they were all worried.

Christy says Briana’s family called her because they were concerned. Kevin brings up a court order that the family got to see Briana’s daughter, and asks if they’ll ever see Maverick. Briana doesn’t know, and says the last time she saw her father, it was when he delivered court papers from her ex-husband. Terra says she can see why Briana would feel the way she does. Me too. Who does that?

We take a trip down Memory Lane with the Terra/Christy fight. Charges, charges dismissed, Christy’s supposed concussion, Christy adding her medical records to the party invitation. Joe and Todd join the women. Joe thinks Terra and Christy should stay away from each other. He talks about how the police report affected their lives. Terra says in letting it go, they don’t need to stay friends. Todd agrees.

Terra asks Todd if he realized when he saw the film, that Christy was first to throw a “deadly weapon.” Joe insults them, and Todd says that before they came out, Joe told him he’s high as a kite. Joe tells Todd that he said it on purpose to see if Todd would repeat it, and calls him “Todd-ler.” Christy does the “we were all” hurt thing, and Joe asks why she’s the only one who’s allowed to pull the bully card. Christy insists she withdrew the police report, but Joe says she’s lying. Todd yaps about the medical records, and Kevin just happens to have a copy. He reads it and it’s basically how Christy claims she felt, along with a three centimeter contusion, but no treatment required.

Joe calls them on canceling the report. Elena tries to interject and starts yelling. She says Christy regretted her actions and tried to reverse them. Terra says it wasn’t Christy that stopped things, it was the DA, who said they had no case. Terra calls Christy stupid, and Christy stomps off to get a tissue. Kevin asks where they go from here, and Christy says forward, but they seem to be stuck in the past. Terra agrees that moving forward is the only way. I think they have two different definitions of what moving forward is though.

Matt is dragged back out. Kevin wants us to decide whether Matt or Christy was the problem, and we flash back to Christy getting involved with Briana’s family. If I’m going by these clips, I’d say Christy is the problem. Briana says she needed her friend to respect her. She says the Plastic thing was the final nail in the coffin. Christy says Briana’s family was asking about it. Kevin asks if Briana will ever forgive her, but she says not that behavior. Kevin asks Matt why he didn’t contact anyone when Briana was in the hospital. Matt tells them everything that was going on there, and it sounds like he had a pretty good excuse. Briana says she didn’t want anyone to know.

They discuss the yacht incident where Christy went crazy with name calling. Todd says he knows Christy stepped over the line and she regrets it deeply. Kevin asks where the comments came from. Christy starts talking about how they’d said she was using drugs. Kevin asks why she called Briana autistic and Christy desperately tries to avoid the question, but then admits that Briana’s sister told her that Briana has autism. There is seriously something wrong with this woman. Why would anyone want to be friends with her? And why does she consider autism an insult?

Everyone starts laughing, so I guess that isn’t true? Kevin tells Christy it’s inappropriate and ignorant. Christy goes on about being an addict and how it’s a disease. Terra says it’s not the same thing; you come out of the womb with autism. Christy says she regretted it immediately. Briana says what if she did have autism? Christy says Briana claimed she was popping pills, but Briana says she was referring to how Christy was behaving. Kevin says it sinks to the lowest common denominator when they have fights.

Somehow we get to Matt asking if he’s offended people. Joe brings up the oompa loompa comment, but he’s laughing. Kevin wonders if anyone can argue without derogatory comments, and suggests they get off that level. Jasmine says not with this group. Ha-ha!

Kevin asks Christy about her sobriety. She says she’s been sober for years. He asks if it’s strictly alcohol and she claims she’s never had pills. She says she was just super stressed. He asks if she’s relapsed. Christy says she’s done and walks off.

Next time, Terra accuses Christy of popping pills, the average-sized child argument rears its ugly head again, and Karla and Rhonnie make an appearance.

Below Deck

The crew gets the boat ready. Kyle informs the other deckhands that he’s not into dudes, but he likes transgender women. He’s been dating a trans woman for two years. Kelley says no judgements.

Kate asks Ben how his date with Emily went. He says they had dinner and went for a walk, and asks if they’re doing a morning tally. In his interview, he says he likes Emily, but doesn’t want to share that with Kate yet.

Emily tells Sierra about Kyle’s transgender girlfriend. They discuss if that makes him gay. Sierra is annoyed that he’s been pursuing her when he’s dating anyone else.

The primary guests are Liza and Lori who are best friends in the fashion business. They’re also bringing some gay male friends. They want a beach picnic, and are having a surprise drag show for Liza’s birthday. Kate says Kyle will be excited. In her interview, Kate says it’s funny how life works out. Kate tells Kelley it will be super fun.

Ben asks Kyle about his girlfriend. We see a couple of pictures and she’s very pretty. In his interview, Kyle says he never felt like he belonged until he met her. Ben asks about the physical transformation when taking hormones. Kyle says he figured if Kate is open, he can be too. Ben says it’s a beautiful thing. He seems genuinely curious and respectful, so I can see why Kyle doesn’t mind his questions. I wonder if I can get Valor shirts from the Bravo website.

Kate FaceTimes with Ro, who is annoyed that they can’t spend more time talking. Kate says she’s not used to being in a relationship where someone needs this much attention. She tells Ro she has to get to work.

The guests arrive and Captain Lee tells the crew that it’s show time. Aww! They have two little dogs with them. Kate gives the tour. The dogs aren’t wearing life vests and I don’t like that. The yacht pulls out and I marvel at the blue water.

One of the guests lets Kate in on some surprises he has for the drag show. She tells him one of the deck members has experience. In the galley, Kate tells Kyle all about the sequin gowns and wigs, and he’s psyched.

It’s beach picnic time. I know the crew always hates those, since there’s a lot of schlepping stuff back and forth. Kate decorates the table with shells and it looks beautiful. The captain calls Kelley to the bridge. Sierra is wearing a tiara (ha-ha!) while she helps Ben.

Kyle has decided Sierra is annoying. Sierra complains about Kyle to Emily. Kate tells Kyle to get the guests to the beach, but Kelley ends up taking them. Kyle complains to Emily and Ben about Sierra. Ben tells him to knock it off and Emily just laughs.

The picnic is amazing which is no surprise. Everything is always amazing. Emily and Ben sneak a little kiss in the kitchen. Kelley wants Sierra and Kyle to get over it and quit talking about each other. He tells Kyle to deal with it. He sends Kyle to the beach. Kate trusts the others with the guests and heads back to the boat. Kyle and Sierra take the giant umbrella down together, and Kelley radios to Kyle that now’s a good time. Kyle babbles and Sierra tells him he’s being dramatic. I’m not sure how she can tell, since I can barely understand what he’s saying. They have subtitles, but I wasn’t looking. Sierra calls Kyle a queen and I laugh. In his interview, he says if she didn’t know about his girlfriend she just would have called him a d*ckhead. In her interview, Sierra says she’s never had so much drama from a guy and wonders if it’s because she didn’t respond to him in the way he wanted. Back at the boat, Kyle whines to Kelley and Sierra whines to Lauren. Lauren wonders why Kelley would be so unprofessional as to interfere?

Ben makes a fabulous dinner. Filet and scallops. In the crew mess, Nico puts on a pink wig. I squee when I see one of the little dogs sleeping in a bed. They should dress the dogs up too. I get so concerned about these dogs not wearing life vests, I write something on Below Deck‘s Facebook page.

Ben tells Emily about his brother coming. She’s excited to meet him. She asks if he’s like Ben, and Ben says yes, but more eccentric. The slide is brought out. One of the guys puts on a Grecian gown and waves from a speedboat. Everyone is kind of doing something different and it all looks like fun. Ben is concerned that the conch is chewy, and Kate says it’s like conch flavored gum. Bleh. She says it’s edible, but not ready yet. Because Emily thinks it’s okay, Ben decides to serve it, but the guests think it’s too chewy. In her interview, Kate says I told you so.

The logistics of the drag show are discussed. The main attraction doesn’t lip sync very well. In his interview, Kyle says he can do something he’s good at, and if he has to wear a dress for it, fine.

Oooh! The table is gorgeous! Ben gives Kyle a taste of sea urchin and Kyle suddenly feels lightheaded. Uh-oh, he’s allergic. He starts getting red and asks for an antihistamine. He says he has to be careful with seafood. Why did he eat that then?

The guests sit down to dinner, but Kyle is passing out. Kate says he’s supposed to be in drag, not drugged, and he’s in a Benadryl coma. Kate does his makeup while he’s half-asleep. Ben gets the food going. Kate puts glitter in Kyle’s beard. Kyle sips a Red Bull. She tells him to keep away from flames. He says he looks like he’s been bombed by a Care Bear. The guests are thrilled with dinner. Kate tells them there are fireworks from the mainland tonight, so they’re having dessert on the main deck. This is a ruse to get them upstairs.

Cue the music. Kate tells the guests the fireworks are about to begin. The main entertainer and Kyle do some lip-syncing while Nico dances back-up. A confetti gun is shot. Glitter is everywhere. Nico says it’s all about the tips. It’s over all too quick. I would have liked to see more of that.

In the morning, Kyle still has glitter in his beard. Nico says it looks like he did nasty things with Tinkerbell. Kate makes a wreath out of a pink boa with little white lights in it and places it on one of the beds as a parting decoration. The guest is tickled pink. BA-DUM-CHH!

Time to go. Bye-bye little vestless dogs. Captain Lee gets the envelope and tells everyone good work. It’s time to gather in the crew mess. In his interview, Kyle says he sees Sierra for who she is now. Please. Captain Lee thought everything was perfect. He says the tip isn’t what they’re used to. At first I think he’s joking and it’s more than they usually get, but no. It’s $1,100 each. He says it happens. He tells them enjoy their night out – after the boat is finished.

Ben says his brother is coming and they’re going to get loose. And there he is. Ben says he’s the more reserved. Kate says she’s known James for a while and likes him better than Ben at this point. Ben introduces James around, and James gifts the crew with hand-rolled cigars. He asks how Ben’s cooking is and Kyle says Ben gave him an allergic reaction five minutes ago. James asks Emily how the date was in front of everyone. In her interview, Emily says Ben is more manly and James is more well groomed.

Ben and James go off for a night out. James tells Ben that the yacht is impressive. James sounds exactly like Ben. If I closed my eyes, I probably couldn’t tell the difference. They go out to dinner. Ben hopes for validation about Emily. James says Ben is doing better than he is.

Lauren and Nico start drinking on the boat. Kyle asks Kate if he can sleep in the master bedroom tonight. It has a big, real bed, and a TV, on which he’s hoping to see boobies. Kate gives the okay.. Lauren and Nico goof around in the room and nearly break something. Nico pours more alcohol into Lauren’s mouth.

Kate, Sierra and Emily hang out and talk. Ben and James are headed back, and Ben drops his pants on the dock. James takes a picture. Ben walks to the boat with no pants on. And I mean half nakey. He sheds the rest of his clothes before they get back on the boat.

Nico chugs fireball. Kate tells the three of them not to make a mess and hopes there isn’t another pizza-on-the-floor incident. Kyle thinks Lauren has no respect for the interior. Ben wanders around wearing a hoodie like a loin cloth. Kyle’s quiet evening of boobies has taken a different turn. Ben breaks something in the bathroom and says they’re screwed.

Next time, an obnoxious repeat guest, the captain confines the crew, and Nico and Kelley butt heads.