Tag Archives: nighttime drama

June 20, 2017 – GH Gets an AMC Addition, Rose is on the Warpath, Adam Redeems His Chef Title & a Coupla Thoughts


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Alexis sees Julian at the MetroCourt. She says she was looking for him. She tells him that Olivia-F has agreed to maintain the status quo. He says that’s good, but Alexis is surprised at his lack of reaction, and asks what’s on his mind.

Amy is a wreck. Nathan says he can tell, and not to make a big deal about it in her head. She says the publishing of the book is contingent on meeting Man Landers. He says he’s there, and she can do all the talking. She thanks him for stepping up when he didn’t have to. She doesn’t know how she’ll repay him. She throws her arms around him and they hug. Nina sees them.

Nelle asks a waitress if Kelly’s is hiring. She needs some steady income, and asks how long she’ll have to wait to find out if she’s hired. Bobbie pops out of nowhere, and says when hell freezes over.

Josslyn tells Michael that he’s the sanest person in the family next to her father, and asks if Carly is getting back together with Sonny.

In Puerto Rico, Sonny and Carly wait for the distributor. Sonny says he must be running on island time, and asks if she’d like to join him for breakfast.

Jason comes home and sees that Sam is awake. She asks how long she was out, and he says probably about ten hours. He tells her that she’s been operating on no sleep whatsoever, and she says she’s feeling better. She takes the knife out of her boot when he goes to the kitchen.

Amy says if they want Nathan’s real name, chalk it up to mystique. She says his suit is missing something, and takes a pocket square out of her purse, telling him it brings out the color of his eyes. Nina joins them, saying he’s looking sharp. She wants to know if Nathan wants to catch up, and he tells Amy he’ll meet her. Nina wonders what he’s been up to. It’s been difficult for her at work, finding a replacement for Maxie, and must be really difficult for him. He asks what’s with the hint dropping, and she asks what’s up with him and Amy.

Bobbie says Nelle will get a job there over her dead body; she’s co-owner. Nelle thought she was a nurse, and Bobbie says she has a lot of irons in the fire, so Nelle won’t be getting a job there. Nelle says she’ll look elsewhere. She knows Bobbie hates her and why, and asks if it’s now Bobbie’s life mission to destroy hers. Bobbie says go back to Atlanta, and she’ll wish her well. Nobody wants her in Port Charles.

Michael tells Josslyn that Sonny and Carly are on the island, since there was a problem with liquor distributor. Josslyn is like, please. She told Carly it was just a story, and got her phone confiscated and sent to her room for her trouble. Michael says that Carly is the mom, Josslyn is the kid, and she can’t police her mother. Josslyn says so she’s off to Puerto Rico with the man she’s supposed to be divorcing. She says that Michael is too smart to believe it. Sonny is going to try and get her back. Michael asks if that would be so bad. Josslyn says after what he did to her dad, she never wants to live under the same roof as him again.

Sonny tells Carly that no matter how it shakes out, she’s always welcome there; it’s her place too. She says the memories are enough. They toast with their coffee to good memories.

Alexis says maybe Julian’s visitation can be increased. He tells her that he needs to get back to the office, and promises they’ll talk soon. When she leaves, he approaches a guy at the bar. The guy, Kirby, says that Julian isn’t returning his phone calls. Julian says he’s out on bail, and things are hectic. Kirby says, not so fast, old friend.

Sam recalls getting into bed with the knife. Jason asks what she wants for breakfast, and then asks why she’s holding a knife. She says she found it on the coffee table, and Jason thinks he left it there. She says she feels a lot better and her head feels clearer, and apologizes for acting strange. Jason says no problem, and promises no more surprises or lack of communication.

Nina tells Nathan that she doesn’t want to pry, and that Amy is right about the pop of color bringing out his eyes. He says that he’s just doing a favor, and it’s nothing she needs to worry about. He says he’s not having an affair. He loves Maxie, but does have somewhere he has to go.

Nelle tells Bobbie she’ll stay out of her way if Bobbie stays out of hers. Bobbie says she has  better idea; Nelle should stay away from Michael. It’s sad that she can’t tell difference between affection and pity. Nelle flashes back to what Michael told her; how it wasn’t pity he felt. She tells Bobbie to forget she said anything, and starts to leave, but Bobbie grabs her arm. Nelle tells her to get off, and Nina comes in, asking if there’s  problem.

Josslyn talks to Michael about what a creep Sonny is, and how he’s affected Carly. She wants Carly to hate Sonny as much as she does. She tells Michael to talk to her and tell her to build a wall around her heart that Sonny can’t get past. Michael says it’s not up to them if she decides to forgive Sonny. Josslyn says she never will.

Carly tells Sonny that she can feel her blood pressure dropping, it’s so relaxing. Sonny gets a call. He says they’re staying there tonight.

Julian says that Kirby knows where all the bodies are buried, but Kirby says he’d never roll over on anyone, and his problem has more to do with tactics on the west coast. Julian tells Kirby to cut to the chase. Kirby says they want same thing – Sonny out of the picture for good.

Amy coaches Nathan. He tells her it’s going to be okay and take a deep breath. It’s Marian Colby! (Actually, it’s Jennifer Bassey playing new character Quinn Danvers.) Quinn says Amy must be the voice behind Man Landers, and Amy says she’s his manager. Quinn tells him that she’s a fan. Advice columns are a balancing act between sensitive and macho, and he’s impressive for a newcomer. Amy says he’s shy in person. Quinn says this isn’t a book tour, just a casual conversation, and wants Man Landers to speak for himself.

Nelle says she was just leaving, and Bobbie says not soon enough. She has to take a call, and suggests Nelle not be there when she gets back. Nelle thanks Nina. Nina doesn’t like to see someone getting kicked while they’re down. Nelle says she deserves it, and Nina asks why she’s choosing to stay in Port Charles.

Josslyn tells Michael not to act like he’s never been mad at Sonny. Michael says that the older he gets, he realizes that everything isn’t black and white. He forgives Sonny because he’s family. In life, people have disagreements, and if the both of them went at it, he’d never cut her out of his life. He tells her that nothing can change family, and they hug.

Kirby isn’t kidding around; it’s time for Sonny to go. Julian says that Kirby has a good thing going on the west coast. He should learn from his mistakes, and leave Sonny’s territory alone. His brother went up against Sonny’s associates, and it didn’t end well. Julian says the business comes with a risk, and he wouldn’t do anything unprovoked. Kirby talks about Ava, thinking Sonny has something to do with it, and they both have reason for payback. They should team up and make him an example. Julian says he has no reason to get involved. He’s out on bail and under surveillance; if he gets caught up in it, he’ll just get caught, and he wants something better for his future.

Sonny tells Carly that the distributor won’t be there until after 5 pm, so they can’t settle the problem until the morning. He says they can have dinner, and he can have the staff fix up a room for her. Carly accuses him of setting the whole thing up.

Quinn says she has high hopes for big sales. Man Landers’s writing speaks to the everyman demographic. It’s witty, insightful, and relatable, with enough flair to hold the reader’s attention. Nathan knows more than Amy thought, and is able to quote himself.

Kirby says that Julian doesn’t get to walk away. Julian says he’s the exception to the rule, and even if he wanted back in, who’d risk doing business with him? It’s better for them both if he doesn’t get involved. Kirby says he’ll take care of Sonny himself, but won’t forget Julian’s lack of solidarity. After he leaves, Alexis, who’s been lurking around, says that sounded intense. She came back because Julian was acting odd. She asks if he was expecting Kirby, and Julian says he’s been trying to avoid him. Alexis heard enough to know that Kirby is targeting Sonny.

Carly says she knows every move in Sonny’s repertoire. Sonny says she’s the owner; he doesn’t have any strings to pull. He tells her to call the distributor at 5:30, and she can double-check.

Sam tells Jason that moving forward, she’s not going to let her exhaustion spiral out of control since they have a tribe of babysitters. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Julian. Jason says it’s not a good time, but Julian asks Jason to hear him out; it’s important.

Carly tells Sonny she’s free for the night, and sorry for what she said. This place meant a lot to her, and she knew it would ignite memories. She didn’t want to miss what used to be. Sonny says they’re getting divorced, but it doesn’t mean they won’t be in each other’s lives or that she’s not important to him.

Bobbie runs to Michael, telling him that Nelle has no plans to leave, and she can’t help thinking he’s the reason. Nelle might have misconstrued his sympathy. He asks if she told Nelle that, and Bobbie says it’s typical of her to play victim; she’s working an agenda. Michael says that if Bobbie is right, it’s his mistake to make.

Nelle tells Nina she doesn’t want to go back to Florida or Atlanta. Nina asks what about somewhere else, but Nelle says it won’t matter without a job. Nina says she’ll give Nelle a good reference, but Nelle says it makes more sense financially to stay. Nina says Michael is the reason she’s staying, and Nelle says maybe, but it won’t matter unless she gets job. Nina tells her that she might have an alternative. It’s been chaotic since Maxie left. She has an assistant, but needs an office manager. She asks if Nelle is up for it.

Quinn takes a call in the other room. Nathan tells Amy he figured he should read up on her advice. He says that she’s a strong, compelling writer, but too bad she has to hide. She tells him again that men won’t take advice form a woman. He doesn’t like taking credit for her, but she says he’s doing her the favor of a lifetime, and the charade won’t be for much longer. Quinn walks in and asks what charade?

Jason invites Julian in. Julian appreciates Jason being protective. He tells them that Kirby wants Sonny eliminated.

Amy tells Quinn that she wasn’t talking about a literal charade, but everything is hypothetical until the contract is signed. Quinn says that she’s been given the green light for the book deal. Once the contract is finalized, they’ll have plenty of support, but first they need to have a photo shoot. She says that Nathan is a real gift from the publication gods; they’ll sell a lot of books with his picture.

Nelle says she feels that she’s qualified, but is Nina sure? Nina says it would make her life easier, and she feels like she owes Nelle. She clearly didn’t want to spy on Valentin, and Nina has regrets. She wants a chance to make it better. Nelle accepts the job.

Bobbie says that Michael is an adult, capable of making his own decisions, but as his grandmother, she’s always going to worry about him and give her opinion. It’s up to him whether he listens. He says that’s fair enough, and she says he’s like his mother – and her; he insists on making his own choices. He tells her that he’ll live with the consequences, and for the record, nothing has happened yet. Bobbie says, famous last words. Yep. Along with, watch this! She leaves, and Josslyn says he’s doing the same thing with Nelle that Carly is doing with Sonny. Michael says he can say all he wants, but Carly isn’t going to listen; she has to figure out for herself. Josslyn says she thinks he’s wrong and a possible hypocrite, but thanks for talking. Outside, she calls her friend Trina, saying that she has the house to herself tonight, so they can have some people over. That should be good.

Carly tells Sonny that it means a lot to her that they can be civil and respect each other. She says since they don’t have to work, she’s going to sit by the pool. He suggests a walk by the ocean.

Sam asks Julian why not go to Sonny? Julian says that Max probably has orders to shoot him on site. Jason wonders if it’s a trap. He tells them to ask Alexis; she was there. They can tell Sonny or not, but he thought they should know. He leaves, and Jason thinks he should call Sonny. Sam wonders if Julian is telling the truth, and Jason says, what if he is?

Carly tells Sonny, why not? Sonny says he’ll meet her outside. He misses Jason’s call.

Tomorrow, Quinn says no pictures no publication, Nelle thinks Charlotte should stay in Nina’s life, and there’s a mystery in Puerto Rico.

The Haves and the Have Nots

When we last left, Quincy Jr. had been shot. Benny says they have to get him to a hospital, but Hannah tells him that it’s too late. Someone yells to call for an ambulance. Benny tells Quincy Jr. that they’re getting him help, but I think we’re past that.

Jeffrey sees that Melissa has cut her wrists. He calls 911, and screams at her why did she do this? He gets some towels, and tries to stop the bleeding. He yells for his mother. He asks Melissa about her mother, and she says she’s just like his. He tells her that he doesn’t hate her, but she’s fading fast. He runs to Veronica’s room. She tells him she’s trying to sleep, and to put some bass in his voice. She sees blood on him, and wakes up quickly. He tells her it’s Melissa, and Veronica thinks she lost the baby. When she sees what’s going on, she tells Melissa that if she loses the baby, she’ll kill her herself, calling her a dumb bitch. She asks Jeffrey what he did. He says her dad died. Veronica said he was going to die anyway, and screams at Melissa that people die. Jeffrey tells her to shut up, and calls 911 again. She keeps smacking Melissa, and when Jeffrey tells her to stop it, claims she’s trying to save Melissa’s life. She tells Jeffrey the call is being recorded, and to shut up. He tells her not to hit Melissa again. Veronica tells Melissa that if she dies, she’ll make her family’s life a living hell. Jeffrey wants to stop the bleeding, and Veronica goes to get gloves. We hear the sirens, and he tells Veronica to go open the door.

Candace goes to Erica’s hotel room. Erica says she doesn’t have any money, and Candace says she knows. Erica is surprised that Candace didn’t get any marks tonight. She says the Presidential candidate Charles Frederickson is staying there, and David knows him. She thought Candace was staying at the Fountain Drop, but Candace says she’s staying in the same hotel that Erica is. Erica says David might be coming back, and Candace gives her the room number she’s in. She fixed the door so it stayed open after the guest left, and says she probably has until housekeeping comes. She gets a call from Benny, but she doesn’t answer.

Candace asks how it’s going with David, and Erica says it’s going. Candace asks if they’ve had sex yet, and Erica says they did, and under that suit is the body of an athlete. Candace says here she is with nothing again, and she’s been here before. Erica tells her no looking back, and Canace says she had millions. Erica says Candace is her girl, and she can borrow what she likes. While Candace looks in the closet, Erica texts War, telling him Candace is there. War tells her about the shootout, and that Quincy Jr. Is dead. He says let him know where Candace is in a couple of hours. Candace picks out a dress, and Erica says she was just texting good-night to David. Candace asks if she’s falling in love with him, but Erica says she’s not.

Erica asks if Candace is going to talk to Benny, but she says no. If Erica needs her, call the Batphone. I swear that’s what she said. Erica wants a hug, and Candace says she’ll call later. Erica asks if she wants to stay in her room for old time’s sake. Candace says she’ll call. I think she’s picking up a weird vibe.

Oscar sees David at the bar. He says it’s been a long night, and David says him too. Neither one of them want to talk about it, but David says maybe after a drink. Oscar thanks him for the Jim referral. He’s looking for Jim’s son. He asks if Wyatt is gay, since it gets a man to trust him easier, and David says no, but he has a mean drug problem. He says he thinks he blew it with Erica and pushed too hard. He didn’t do anything; they both decided not to, but suddenly she asked him to stop when they were making out. Oscar says she’s good, and David asks what he means. He says either it got too much for her to handle, or she didn’t like it, but David doesn’t think that’s it. Oscar says she could also be setting him up. David thinks Oscar has spent too much time with Candace. Oscar says that David is probably moving too fast, and to watch his heart. David says that’s not the part of his anatomy that needs attention. Oscar says he’s been able to get a lot of fortunes after a divorce, and sex is the quickest way to his heart; he needs to take his time. David gets a text from Erica saying she hopes he made it home safe. Oscar tells him to ride it out for tonight. Let her wonder where his head is. David doesn’t want to play games, but Oscar says there are new rules. David tells Oscar that he’s old school.

Jim arrives at the bar. David wonders what Candace is doing here, and Jim says probably doing what she does best. Jim says David is the only one in the room who hasn’t slept with her, and calls her over. She says, isn’t this predictable? Jim asks how she is, and she says as good as she looks. He tells her hiding isn’t her style, and David says maybe avoiding prison is; there’s a warrant out for her arrest. He says as an officer of the court he could do it, and there’s much joking about handcuffs. Jim says the photos are in possession of the police, and announces that Candace also killed Quincy and buried him in her backyard. David says that’s not very smart. Jim talks about nosy neighbor Pearl, and says there are cameras everywhere. Oscar asks what Quincy looks like, and Candace says he looks like the one who beat his ass before he ran out the door. She tells David that Jeffrey helped her. David doesn’t believe it. Jim asks to talk to Candace alone. Candace says she doesn’t think David will call the police until he checks in with his son.

Jim says he misses Candace. He asks if she has a room there, and she says no. He suggests they go to her place, and she asks if he means the one he foreclosed on. He knows she has nothing left, and asks if it was worth it. She says it was fun, and he asks who she’s blackmailing now. He tells her that he wants her, and she says he wants to trap her. He tells her to get over her suspicion, and holds out a drink. He says that he won; take the martini. She says she doesn’t want it or him. They banter a bit, and he keeps telling her to take the martini, reminding me of Ruth Gordon in Rosemary’s Baby for some reason. Candace says she has to go. Jim says he’ll be at the bar.

David calls Jeffrey and leaves a message to call him immediately.

Benny and Hannah sit in the hospital waiting room. Benny asks for the phone. He goes to make a call while Hannah sits dejected. Benny calls Kathryn. She asks what’s wrong and where’s Hannah? He says they need help; they’re at the hospital. He starts to cry, and says his nephew died. She asks how, and Benny tells her that he was shot. Kathryn asks what hospital, and says she’s on her way. He thanks her.

At Wyatt’s place, the interventionists can’t figure out why the detox isn’t working. They want to take him to the hospital, but he doesn’t want to go. They get him up and out.

Benny tries to give Hannah some water, but she doesn’t want it. She says they killed him. He had it hard, and she tried to give him a better life. Benny tells her not to get upset, but she doesn’t know how she can’t be. She says Candace doesn’t get it. It’s a cycle that just keeps going around and around, and getting worse and worse. She says there’s a loop, and it’s all going to come back around. She was trying to stop it before it was too late, and now he’s dead. She calls out to Jesus. Benny suggests they pray. He reminds her of a prayer she used to say with him. She says she can’t pray, and he tells her not to say that. He says let’s go back, but she says she can’t go back there. I think the room is probably going to be a crime scene for a while anyway. He tells her to stay there; he’s going to handle a few things.

Mitch shows up, and Benny starts to cry. Mitch tells him to be cool, and not let his mom see him. Rose appears with her crew. Mitch says it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Rose wants to know who shot at him, and Benny says it was War, and tells her where he is. Rose tells someone on the phone to put DA Jennifer’s body in the trunk of War’s car, and let all hell break loose. They have to send a message that it’s never right to go after a Malone.

Veronica asks if Jeffrey heard anything about the baby. He says he doesn’t know anything. Veronica goes to the desk, but the nurse says the doctor is with patients. Veronica says the only important patient is the one carrying her unborn grandchild. The nurse says she’ll page him when he’s done. Veronica says it would be a shame to spend all those years in nursing school to ask if you want fries with that. She tells the nurse that she wants to see a doctor within three minutes. She boots a lady out of the seat next to Jeffrey, and then boots her out of the next one she tries to sit in, saying it’s a private conversation. Jeffrey says she just can’t not be a bitch. She says he’s trying to be one. He says Melissa tried to kill herself because of Veronica. Veronica says don’t blame her; she didn’t hold the blade. She reminds him that she’s his attorney.

Veronica calls her maid, Rosita, saying that even though she has the day off, she has to come in or risk her job. Or she could come tonight. Melissa had an accident, and she needs the house around it cleaned. She says she doesn’t care about the bus. She tells Jeffrey it’s not her problem if Rosita has to get a bus at 4 am. That’s probably going to be another crime scene. For a bunch of people who are all involved in law somehow, no one ever thinks of that.

David calls Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he’s at the hospital and explains. David asks if Veronica is behind it, and Jeffrey says he knows it. David says he’s on his way, but Jeffrey says she’s here. David says he has to talk to Jeffrey in person. Veronica asks what he wants, and Jeffrey says he was just checking up on him. Veronica asks if he’s coming, and when Jeffrey says he is, she says that’s good. She checks herself out in her compact, and complains about the bags under her eyes. Jeffrey says she has no sympathy at all, and she says no, she doesn’t. At least you know where you are with this sociopath.

Suddenly, Kathryn is standing in front of Veronica.

Next time, Oscar wants Candace to be his partner, Rose tells Jim that she wants to send a clear message, and Kathryn comforts Hannah. It looks like a great season to come with “twisted, tantalizing Tyler.”

Below Deck Mediterranean

I hope no onions are involved with this charter.

Adam leaves the dinner on the crew’s night off, and Malia follows Adam back to the boat because they’re both middle schoolers. Hannah asks where Adam went, and I laugh when Bugs says that he went “home.” I guess it is when you’re on charter. Max says that killed the vibe, and Wes no longer wants to know Malia.

Omg, Malia and Adam talk like something out of a bad romance novel. You came all the way back just for me? We might be connecting on a level that’s surpassing the yacht relationship. Gag. She asks if he wants to party, and he says he’s a good bartender. She asks if he’s going to put onions in it, and I have to admit that’s pretty funny.

Hannah and Lauren talk about Bugs. Hannah says ever since Adam made the comment that Bugs should be chief stew, she hasn’t said a word. They go outside for a smoke. Hannah talks about having Bugs’s back when her grandmother died, and now she has nothing in return. Lauren says she hopes to be half the chief stew Hannah is one day. Hannah says she’ll always have Lauren’s back.

Adam kisses Malia as fireworks literally go off. Now we’re in a Hallmark movie. She knows everyone will be talking, but doesn’t care. Oh, you will. The others head back to the boat. Malia and Adam pretend to be eating in the galley. Adam sneaks more kisses. Wes says she chose the d*ck. Yep. He tells Bobby they all got played. In his interview, he says he has a crush on Malia, but he feels for Wes, pointing out that Adam is the one who just jeopardized their tip.

Bugs tells Hannah she hopes Hannah sorted out what she needed to. Max tells Bobby that he deserves better. Everyone turns in.

We flash back to Captain Sandy calling out Adam. He says he’s definitely on her radar now. Wes thinks maybe he misread signals. He talks to Bugs about Hannah. She doesn’t think it’s right how Hannah is treating her, because she isn’t the one who said anything, even if she thinks it. Wes says he’s there for her.

The captain goes over the new preference sheets. Primary guest Jason has recently left his finance career, and is considered one of the most eligible bachelors in Dallas. Hannah thinks he’ll be d-bag central and they’ll all be high maintenance. They’ve requested a Cuban dinner, and a white party with a 7-course meal, each dish representing a different color. Why? Who knows. Captain Sandy says all eyes are on Adam, especially hers. Ha-ha!

Bugs asks Hannah if they’re good. In her interview, Bugs says she’s not good with unresolved feelings, and thinks they should hash it out and move forward. Hannah says that she didn’t like the situation with Adam, and Bugs says it wasn’t cool. She didn’t think it was right, and he was unprofessional. She wanted to leave it behind, but felt excluded at the crew dinner. Hannah says Adam has been going at her all season, and since Bugs and Adam seem to have a friendly relationship, it was easier for her to chat with Lauren. In her interview, Hannah calls girl code. Bugs says she supports Hannah, and has her back. Hannah hopes the next charter goes more smoothly.

The crew readies the yacht. Adam asks to talk to Hannah. He says he owes her an apology. She says more than anything, she was bothered by what he said to Bugs because it diminishes her rank. In his interview, it’s dawned on Adam that this is his job, and he needs to make amends. Hannah doesn’t really trust him, but tells him she’s good, and they hug it out.

The guests arrive. The girls are stunned by Jason’s beauty, but IMO he’s no Marc Singer. Hannah does the tour thing. She’s trying to figure out the romance situation, hoping none of the women are with Jason. The captain calls Malia to the bridge, and tells her she’s going to take the boat off the dock. In her interview, Malia says she’s always wanted to outrank her brother, who’s a military captain.

Hannah tells Adam the primary isn’t a d-bag. That will teach her to judge a guest by his headshot. Wes and Malia work together. Wes is tempted, but in his interview, says first time, shame on you, and you know the rest. Bobby is hoping he gets a chance to take the boat off the dock, and likes how the captain lets them be involved. Malia likes how Captain Sandy puts them in situations where they can fail. She’s nervous, but the captain guides her through. Success!

Geez, Jason is a nice guy, offering to help Hannah. Adam is relieved to be chopping onions, but Captain Sandy just wants him to stay focused on his job. In his interview, Max talks about the last stern tie being a fail, and hopes this one works out better. It goes well, and the captain says they keep improving. Hannah goes over the schedule with the guests. She’s excited for the Cuban theme party, since she was just there. I want to go!

One of the ladies offers Bobby a cocktail, but he can only wish. Wes goofs around with Malia. Why? Hannah welcomes a Cuban musician on board. The crew sets up the party in a cove. The stews discuss Jason. Hannah says they can’t go there with charter guests, but if anyone could tempt her, it would be him. The guests shove off for the party.

Pictures are taken while they still have light. Hannah gives everyone shots, and Jason says she’s a mind reader. At the yacht, Max talks to his girlfriend on the phone, and asks when she’s coming to see him. We see photos, and they’re a cute couple. Ooh, the cove is nice in candlelight. The deckhands carry the female guests to the return boat, and Jason jokes about Hannah carrying him. Adam prepares dinner, and hopes nothing gets sent back.

Max’s girlfriend is coming on Tuesday. He suggests a double date with Malia and… somebody. The female guests check out the galley, and they’re thrilled when Bobby walks through, letting him know that one of them is single. In his interview, he says cougars are flirting with him right and left, but he can’t get a flirt out of Malia. Dinner is served, and all goes well.

After dinner, Jason asks Hannah to join them for a drink, but she says she can’t. He tells her if she’s scared just say so. The guests want to look at the crew’s quarters and the crew mess (where the crew eats, not the mess in their quarters), although I’m not sure why, since it’s an imposition. Bobby says he’s scared of Tina, who must be the single one. He says that the cougar wants the cub, but not vice versa. The guests move on to the hot tub.

Hannah brings the guests drinks. Jason gets his phone wet, and she offers to put it in rice, but he believes it’s beyond saving. In her interview, she says he’s got a great body, and there’s nothing wrong with a 40-year-old having a 20-year old’s body, and the bank account of a 70-year-old. Or something like that. She chats with Jason on the deck while having a smoke, and he asks her questions about yachting. In her interview, Bugs thinks it’s unheard of and unacceptable for a chief stew to be flirting with a charter guest, and she’s dumbfounded. Maybe just dumb. It’s not like they were acting inappropriately.

I am so fascinated with Croatia. And so wish I could go on one of these charters. It looks heavenly – the scenery, the food, the everything. Although getting there is not half the fun. Love traveling; hate the process. The guests go ashore, and Adam starts preparing the 7-course meal. The deckhands play with helium, which never gets old. Captain Sandy goes over alternatives for the guests who don’t like seafood with Adam. This has to be embarrassing. It’s pretty bad when the captain feels the need to go over the menu with the chef. Lauren feels like she’s in the middle of Hannah and Bugs, who are both giving her orders.

Hanna goes over the schedule with Bugs. Hannah is going for a nap, and in her interview, Bugs thinks that’s unacceptable too, and tells us that she’d never do that before a guest party. Hmm… I’m seeing how this one could become a problem. Adam should have kept his mouth shut.

The dinner table décor is amazing – white balloons, crystal, pearls, other white stuff, appetizers in fancy spoons. The appetizer doesn’t even sound like something I’d like, since it involves fennel, but I’d eat ten of them. Jason is impressed with the details, and tells Hannah that they weren’t expecting anything so amazing. The different colored courses turn out to be fun. One course is seared tuna, with beets for the non-seafood people. Now we’re talking my language. In the galley, Hannah asks Bugs if they’re good, and Bugs says they are, but her face says something different. Jason is also impressed with the food. The scales are officially tipping in Adam’s favor.

Two of the guests don’t eat pork, and one whispers to Bugs that she’d like a chicken breast instead. Hannah says the guest doesn’t know how to write, and Adam is concerned about his redemption night. He makes the chicken, claiming he’s never saying no again. The same guest, who Hannah calls “Plastic Fantastic,” bitches about the salt in one of the dishes. Lauren tells Hannah that she’s getting frustrated, and feels like she has two chief stews. Hannah says it’s her fault for giving Bugs too much power. The guests compliment the chef, and Adam hopes this is a step forward. Hannah has a shot with the guests, which bugs Bugs.

The guests start to turn in. Hannah runs after Jason and…

Next time, Adam tells Hannah she’s not perfect, Bugs outs Hannah texting a guest, Max’s girlfriend arrives, Wes kisses Malia (shame me twice, shame on me), and it’s revealed that Adam hooked up with Malia before the show.

🏝 Well, what did I say? Apparently, the producers of Bachelor in Paradise have found no wrongdoing on the part of any contestant. Like that cop after the Tawana Brawley scandal, DeMario Jackson must be wondering where he goes to get his reputation back.

☮ Just a thought. Instead of attacking every fart Donald Trump blows, we should be going after the real enemy. Ourselves.


June 18, 2017 – What Happened to Daniel, a Little TV Tea & My Favorite Canine Papa


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



Fear the Walking Dead

We look out over a bunch of cities from the top of a cliff. A lone zombie wanders the highway. Wait, it’s not a zombie – it’s Daniel. He’s desperate for water, but there’s none to be found. He shuffles behind a truck, hiding from a mini-horde of zombies. The last one turns and sees him. They shuffle at the same pace, Daniel not too far ahead. He hides under a car, but she pulls at his leg. A dog distracts her. Daniel quietly freaks.

Daniel can hear the zombie skulking around as he hides. He sees a pair of boots, and the zombie is taken down. He’s pulled out from under the car. A guy tells him to relax. He sees a wound on Daniel’s leg. Daniel says it had him, but let him go. The guy introduces himself as Efrain, and tells Daniel that he’s dying. Daniel yells for water. Efrain says the good news is that he has water and is happy to share it; the bad news is that they have to walk. He helps Daniel up.

They go into a building and Efrain shuts the gate. It looks like a warehouse flea market. Efrain leads Daniel to a fountain, but it’s dry. He asks where the water is, and Efrain says it shouldn’t be long. The word agua is heard repeatedly over a loudspeaker, and water begins to pour from the spout. Daniel drinks, and Efrain fills a jug. He says every week at this same time, a little miracle. He puts the jug on his bike and peddles away through the zombies, with Daniel in a cart at the front. Daniel is like, hey stairs! but Efrain drives his bike right up them. He’s got a stick for errant zombies, but doesn’t need it.

Efrain drives into an alley where several people are gathered. Daniel keels over, and they hide behind a dumpster. A truck goes by, crowded with men looking around. Someone in the group says that they’re coming by more often now.

Efrain discusses Daniel’s wound with a woman named Lola, who thinks that Daniel could possibly lose his leg. Daniel mumbles about a horse, and Lola asks if he’s a Broncos fan. The wound has to be scraped. Daniel says it take a steady hand, and Lola tells him to try not to scream. Efrain gives him some booze, and Lola sings. Daniel sings with her. She scrapes the wound, and it’s painful just to watch.

Fast forward, and Daniel and Efrain are scavenging. Daniel looks through a photo album. Efrain knocks down a zombie, and tells him to hurry up. Efrain gives the zombie Last Rites before finishing it off. Daniel asks if Efrain was a priest, and Efrain says he’s been many things and he found his calling. He pulls out a flask, and takes a drink, offering it to Daniel. They toddle off with the cart.

Efrain takes Daniel to where he lives, saying all are welcome. He shares some food. Daniel says he’s been kind. He didn’t have to help him, but he did. Daniel asks when he last had a professional haircut, and styles Efrain’s hair. Efrain says it’s been a while since he saw himself, and thanks Daniel. He asks when Daniel is going to sneak out. He knows running when he sees it, and something worse than Daniel’s leg is rotting in him. Daniel says he’s a bad guy, and he pays his debts. He’s killed ninety-six people. Efrain says that’s not it though. They share a bottle of liquor, and Daniel tells Efrain about leaving El Salvador, and how he never told his daughter about his past. Efrain says the burden was his, and asks if Danial is looking for his daughter. Daniel nods.

He tells Efrain that they were in a house surrounded by death, and he was trying to protect her, but his mind wasn’t right. He woke up in a fire, and could hear her calling. He was trapped, and burning, and the ceiling was collapsing. Somehow, he got out, but then he collapsed. When he came to, no one was left alive. Efrain asks what he’s saying. Daniel says he doesn’t know if he burned his daughter alive, and to forgive him. Efrain isn’t so sure forgiveness is his to bestow. He half-hugs Daniel, and tells him to take it easy. He says the good news is, there’s nobody left in this world to judge him; the bad news… he nods off. Daniel covers him with a blanket and jets.

Daniel travels down the highway with a lantern. He pops a zombie in the head with a shovel, sending it into the canal. He tries for another, but loses his weapon. Great. He opens his arms and awaits his fate. The zombie falls, but so does he, with his feet dangling in the current.

Daniel watches some clean-up guys do a coin toss to see who gets to clean the sewer pipe he’s in. They pull out some bodies smushed together with a carpet of leaves and laugh. Daniel rises from the leaves, and I’m surprised neither one of them has a heart attack. They take him to an office and discuss what to do, afraid that they’ll get nailed for sneaking him in. Lola walks in, and says she knows who he is, and they did the right thing in hiding him.

Lola explains that Daniel is at the Gonzalez Dam. Daniel asks why they’re hogging the water when people are dying of thirst? Lola tells him that there’s a new boss making decisions, the President of Tijuana. Daniel asks how much control she has, and she tells him that he never met her before today. He came there looking for a job. A guy breezes in, asking what Daniel is doing there, and Lola tells Daniel that he’s J.C., head of security. She says she hired Daniel because they need more help; they don’t want dead bodies building up in the water system.  J.C. suggests that he discuss this with the boss, but Lola tells him his job is security, hers is water treatment. Let her do her job, and go do his. He nods, and leaves. Daniel is impressed.

Daniel is now on the clean-up crew. He looks at the trucks, and asks another worker if he doesn’t have a problem with the distribution of water. The worker says it’s either get eaten, shot, or work. What’s it gonna be?

It’s dinnertime, and Daniel has an entire can of SPAM on his plate. Unappetizing to say the least. The big boss, Mr. Dante, comes in, and everyone stands up except Daniel. Dante tells everyone to sit, and they go back to eating. J.C. asks Daniel why he didn’t stand, and Daniel says he didn’t know he was supposed to. J.C. says, well, he is, and he’s also supposed to look at J.C. when he’s talking to him. J.C. leans over and puts his middle finger in the middle of Daniel’s SPAM. Daniel stabs him with his fork, and J.C. draws his gun. Dante comes back and asks what’s going on. J.C. whines that he was stabbed, but Daniel says he was just eating. Dante asks what his name is and where he’s from. Daniel tells him, and Dante wonders if he’s Sergeant and NCO Salazar. He looks at the tattoo in Daniel’s mouth. He says, Sombra Nega, which I googled, and it’s a name for El Salvadorian death squad groups. Dante tells J.C. that he needs to read more. He’s picking a fight with a CIA trained killer. He asks how many communists Daniel killed, and Daniel says he lost count. Dante tells everyone that they have a guest, and leads Daniel away.

Daniel questions the way Dante is using the dam, and Dante tells him that it might be the apocalypse, but it’s not communism. He asks what Daniel wants and needs, and says to speak freely. Danial asks if Dante can lend him a jeep; he’s looking for someone. Dante says sure, but his talents deserve more. If Daniel works for him, he’ll give him something befitting of his stature. He holds out his hand.

Daniel is on a truck, looking for a thief. It’s the same kind of truck Efrain and his friends were hiding from. Daniels sees where Efrain lives but says nothing. The truck busts into the warehouse where Daniel got the water. The fountain is dry, and Daniel still says nothing. J.C. says, nothing there, and Daniel looks at the clock. Sh*t. They’re going past the fountain right when it turns on. Sh*t. The water starts to drip, and Daniel panics. The agua announcement is made, but Daniel creates a distraction, saying he found something. He points and says, there’s your thief.

Daniel tells Lola that he had to; they were going to find the fountain. She says he saved Daniel’s life. He says first they’ll find Efrain, and then her; then they’ll both be killed. He did it to protect her. Lola tells him that if she stops running the water, the people will die. Not from bites or gunshots, but of thirst. Daniel says if they find her, there won’t be anything he can do. She says Dante is right; he’s perfect for this place. He tells her to do what she wants, but he warned her, adding not to save people who are already dead.

Daniel sees the guy he pointed out being beaten. He’s taken to a cell, and Daniel brings him a canteen of water. It’s Victor, and we’re back to the ending of last week’s episode. He tells Victor that he said he’d be his guardian angel, and Victor says, or angel of death. Victor wonders how Daniel got out, and Daniel asks if Ofelia is alive. Victor says they fled the compound, and they all thought he was dead, but she’s alive. He tells Daniel that Ofelia is holed up in a hotel. It will take a day, maybe less, to get there. He says to get him out, and he’ll take Daniel to her; she’s waiting for him. Daniel just looks at him.

He calls Victor an s.o.b, saying he doesn’t believe Ofelia is waiting for him. Victor says she survived the fire, and Daniel tells him that he’ll says anything to save his life. He tells Victor that this place is perfect for him. He’ll rot there, like the dead. He says Ofelia is dead, her father is dead, and so is Victor. Victor says that Daniel owes him, but Daniel just keeps walking. Interesting.

Dante announces that the expert is here. A circle of men parts, and Efrain looks at Daniel. Dante asks what Daniel needs, and Daniel says just space. He goes up to Efrain, and talks quietly to him. He says that if Efrain talks, they’ll kill him, and then Lola. If he doesn’t talk, Daniel will kill him. All he can offer is to do it as fast as he can. Efrain says those aren’t options, and Daniel asks Efrain to forgive him. Efrain says, again?

Daniel punches Efrain a bunch of times, saying, confess! Daniel tells Dante that he isn’t going to speak, but Dante says he will, and to keep going. Daniel picks up a hammer. Lola says, enough, leave him alone, and runs to Efrain, crying and hugging him. Daniel drops the hammer.

The lot of them are on a very high ledge on the dam, along with a few other people. Dante says to let it be a lesson that when you steal from him, this is what happens.  Daniel takes the first guy out of the line. Dante tells the guy that he just needs a messenger pigeon to tell the others. The guy thinks he’s cheated death somehow, but Dante hoists him over the railing, and down he goes. Next, Daniel chooses Lola. Dante asks if Daniel is ready. When Daniel hesitates, Dante tells J.C. to do it. Daniel shoots J.C., and throws the other henchman over the railing. Dante is all offended, saying he let Daniel in, but he’ll always be a goddam dog. Daniel says nothing, and just shoots him, and I laugh.

Daniel hands Lola the gun, gets on his knees, and asks her to forgive him. He bows his head. She holds out her hand, and he takes it.

Next time, a fire at the ranch, Troy has a calling, and Victor is surrounded.

I knew it. Jesse Borrego is playing Efrain. He was in one of my favorite 80s TV shows, Fame. At the time, I’d decided VCRs were invented just so I could record that show. The tapes are still in the black hole around here somewhere.


☎ Better Call Saul is having its season finale on Monday, Jun 19th. You can actually watch too much TV, and I kind of lost track of this show along the way, but it’s very good. It’s clever, and like TV’s hooker with a heart of gold.

🏛 I have no idea why I’d thought The Real Housewives of Potomac was going to give some actual sophistication to the franchise, but I couldn’t have been further off. I definitely think that this bunch is the most focused on money, and comparing who has more of whatever. That makes me wonder if they’re the group with the least amount money. Ashley told us she still needs to work on both her marriage and the restaurant, since passive/aggressive Michael made some changes to the latter while she was in Bermuda. Although when both of them agreed that the marriage was more important in less than five minutes time, I wondered if all this hands-on management was just for storyline. Charisse held an opening for her champagne room, and cut a ribbon, making this the most excessive thing I’ve ever seen on any Wives show. And that includes Heather Dubrow’s skabillion dollar mansion and the birthday party Taylor Armstrong had for her toddler. This week, the girls also had an overabundance of time to spend analyzing why Karen was downsizing her living quarters. Refusing to descend from the cloud that she lives on, when someone pointed out that Karen would no longer be living in Potomac, she told them that was “a matter of opinion.” Funny, I thought it was a matter of zip code. Next time, a Bollywood party where Monique attends appropriating the wrong Indian culture, and wearing a feather headdress.

🍺 It looks like What Happens at the Abbey has been relegated to midnight status. And rightly so. It doesn’t need to be taking up the space of a show that has some genuine direction.

Quote of the Night & One More for the Dads

You don’t mess with a man’s SPAM.Rueben Blades (Daniel, FTWD) on Talking Dead

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person — he believed in me.Jim Valvano

CaseyInTie (2)

💖 One of my favorite dads, Casey 💖

May 30, 2017 – The End of Jake’s Magic Act, a One-Day Charter & Eddie is Surrounded


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Jason tells Jake it’s late and they need to go home. Anna tells him to stop. Jake sees Helena. He holds the Chimera up, and Helena tells him, bravo. He flips it on. Valentin says it’s unlocked, and they have to get out of there, but Jake says they have to stay. It would be really funny if the whole thing was a sham and the Chimera was a dud.

Dante calls Sonny. He leaves a message telling him not to do anything stupid. Scotty told him that Sonny had been trying to shake him down, and he figures it’s about Morgan’s pills.

Carly gets in Ava’s face, and says come and get her. Ava says no more, and throws the lantern to the ground, starting a fire. Ava says they’re not going anywhere, and draws her gun. She says fair is fair, and now it’s Sonny’s turn.

Nathan tells Amy she stole his photo. She prefers the word “borrowed,” and says he should be thanking her for making him famous.

Valentin tells Jake not to open it. Jason says it looks heavy; maybe he should put it down. Helena tells him not to listen, and just look at her. Jason asks what he’s looking at. Helena calls Jake her clever, darling boy, and says he knows what to do.

Valentin asks Emma and Charlotte to come. He tells Lulu, Laura, and Nina to get them somewhere safe. Out in the hallway, Nina asks what just happened.

Jason says he knows Jake is scared, but it will be okay, just hand him the martini shaker canister. He says she doesn’t want him too. Jason asks who, and he says Helena. Elizabeth asks if she’s there and telling him to open it. He nods. Helena tells him not to weaken. Elizabeth tells him to keep looking at her. Helena doesn’t have the power; he does. Jason says he’s the one in control. Elizabeth tells him to give Jason the container. Helena tells him not to listen, and to open the Chimera and do what he was born to do.

Nathan tells Amy that it’s the epitome of false advertising. Details, details, she says. He tells her that he doesn’t want to be a part of it, but she says he hasn’t even read it. She tells him about the advice that he gives. He asks if this is the other job she talked about. She says she doesn’t get paid right now, but eventually, the money will roll in. She asks if they’re good, and he tells her they will be as soon as she takes it down.

Ava admits to replacing Morgan’s lithium with a placebo. She didn’t want it to get that far, but instead of seeing if there was a problem, they indulged him. Didn’t it occur to them that something was wrong, and he belonged in an institution? Sonny calls her a psychotic bitch, and says she led Morgan down the wrong path. Sonny says he’s not standing there. They’re leaving, and she can shoot him in the back. Carly tells her to burn in hell, and they leave.

Ava tries to get out another door, but the exit is blocked. I think she could probably squeeze through the opening if she tried though.

Helena urges Jake to give them a show. Elizabeth asks if he’s seeing the witch, and if she’s telling him to do things he doesn’t want to do. She tells him that the witch isn’t real; she’s a bad dream. Helena laughs and says it isn’t true. Elizabeth tells Jake that Helena thinks she’s won, and Helena says she knows she has. Elizabeth says she thinks the hate she has for everyone is stronger than the love Elizabeth has for him. But she couldn’t be more wrong. Jake fingers the container opening.

Amy tells Nathan that she has advertisers lined up, and they’re the next big thing. Nathan is like, there’s no “we.” He asks why doesn’t she just put her own picture on the column? She says smart blondes are a dime a dozen. He tells her either take down his image or the blog. She asks if he couldn’t learn something from her advice, and what if she could help him save his marriage?

Dante gets a call about the fire. He asks who owns the warehouse. When he finds out that it’s Ava, and he says he’ll be right there.

Ava can’t get out. Something falls, and she can’t get through the other door either. Carly and Sonny wander around in the smoke. Carly says they made a wrong turn, and Sonny tells her that they have to go back. They hear Ava calling for help.

Charlotte asks if her papa is in trouble, but Nina says he’s just trying to help. Emma wonders why Jake seems afraid, but still wants to open the container. Laura and Lulu get the girls out. Nina decides to stay.

Elizabeth says she knows that Jake can do it. Helena says that she hasn’t scratched the surface of what he can do. Elizabeth calls him strong, but Helena says she’s the one who prepared him to face his destiny. She tells him to release the Kraken Chimera. Elizabeth asks Jake if he can tell how much she loves him; how much they all do. Helena says enough drivel; end it now. Ha-ha! I love Helena. Elizabeth says they know that Jake loves them too, and that’s why Helena can’t win; love is always stronger than hate. Jason says they can handle anything as long as they have each other. Jake turns off the Chimera, and Helena disappears. Anna takes the box and puts it on the floor. Elizabeth hugs Jake.

Lulu tells Charlotte that her dad will get her asap. Emma wants to know why Jake was acting weird, and Charlotte asks why everyone seemed scared. Laura tries to finagle it into magic show suspense. The girls go to the kitchen for cookies. Lulu wonders what was in the canister, and if she should call Dante. Laura tells her to wait. Lulu asks if Laura thinks Helena had something to do with it. Laura says yes, but they have the upper hand this time. They’re not on the island, but among family and friends in Port Charles.

Elizabeth tells Jake how strong he is. He tells them he’s sorry. Jason says it wasn’t his fault, and he has nothing to be sorry about. They hug. Franco approaches Elizabeth, and Nina comes back in. Valentin says he wanted her to leave the building, but the threat has been neutralized for now. He explains what happened, and says it’s why Alex was chasing him, pretending to be Anna. Nina asks if it’s over, and he says not until the canister is destroyed. Anna tells Jake how brave he is, and Jason says they’re proud of him. Elizabeth tells Franco she was scared, and they hug. Jason thanks her. She thinks Jake should be checked out at the hospital. Jason asks Elizabeth and Franco to take him. He wants to make sure Helena has no more surprises. Elizabeth tells him to be careful, and gathers up Jake.

Anna says the area has to be cleared. Nina offers to call security and the police. Anna tells Valentin she’ll call the WSB, and have it destroyed.

While Nina is in the hallway making the call, a man holds a gun to her head and says her call just dropped

Amy says that Maxie and Nathan are at opposite ends of the country, and Nathan says that Maxie has a job in Portland. Amy tells him that there are jobs everywhere. Nathan says they’ll figure it out, and she says, if he says so, but she has to get to work.

The fire starts to spread, more slowly than any fire in history. Ava screams for help. Carly asks Sonny what should they do? He says they can’t help her; they’ll all die. He tells Carly that they can call 911 when they get out. Ava is now lying on the floor, unconscious.

Sonny and Carly get outside. Carly calls 911, and tells them what’s going on, adding that they should hurry. She tells Sonny that the fire was already reported. Smoke is coming out from under the door.

Elizabeth and Franco wait at the hospital. Franco says Jake will be fine. Elizabeth says she can’t stop thinking about what a close call it was. Franco applauds her mom awesomeness, and they kiss.

Coming out of the hospital elevator, Amy asks Nathan to stop arguing. He says not until she takes the picture down. They see Franco and Elizabeth. Amy asks if something happened at the Nurses Ball, and Franco says they’re not going to believe it.

Two guys go into the ballroom, one of them still holding a gun on Nina. They want the box, but Jason says he doesn’t have it.

That’s because Valentin has it. Anna asks him what he’s doing. He says he was short-sighted, but it was years ago. He tells her that selling the device to Helena was a bad mistake in anyone’s book, but not to act like she doesn’t have regrets. He didn’t sell himself to the DVX. She was a double-agent, but didn’t have price tag on her head or need surgeries. She says that she was young and full of herself, and did it for money. He tells her that she doesn’t get to judge. She says he’s in possession of classified weapon, and it has to be destroyed. Valentin says that’s what he’s going to do.

Anna says she spoke to Robert, and the WSB is going to handle it. Valentin says, great; they handled the Alex situation really well. He says mistakes were made, and Charlotte almost died. She says they all almost died, including Emma. He thinks the WSB will just put it in a vault somewhere, but Anna says it was a mistake made by cold war hysteria, and they want it gone. She asks him to give it to her and be done with it. He says the past is coming back to bite him, and what if it was her past? Would she trust it to an organization that’s failed her over and over? She says fine, don’t trust them, but trust her. His phone rings. It’s Nina. She says she’s in the ballroom, and there’s a guy holding gun who wants the Chimera, and the phone disconnects. Valentin tells Anna that Nina is being held hostage by someone who wants the Chimera. She says he knows what to do.

Laura plays charades with the girls. She asks if Charlotte wants to try, but she’s too worried. Lulu says maybe they’re having fun and lost track of time. Emma says they’re doing that thing grownups do – not telling the truth. Lulu says they can be sure that everyone wants to help Jake. She says Anna, Jason and Valentin are smart and brave, and can handle it. Emma says, copy that.

Dante asks if Sonny and Carly are okay. Carly tells him that Ava is still inside. He’s like, you left her in there??? Sonny says she started fire, and tells him what happened. Carly says they thought she took a different exit. Sonny says by the time they realized, they couldn’t go back and help or they’d all die. The firemen go inside. Sonny tells Dante their hands are clean. Dante hopes so, and says if something happens to Ava, they’ll have to answer for it.

Valentin enters the ballroom with the box. He tells them to take it and get out. Jason asks if he’s crazy, and Valentin tells him to stay out of it. They take the box, and let Nina go. They open box, and one of them asks what Valentin is trying to pull. Valentin tells Nina to run. He and Jason fight the bad guys.

Nathan arrives, and asks Nina what’s going on.

The firemen bring Ava out. She’s alive, but not looking good. A fireman says that she’s barely hanging on, and they have to get to the hospital asap. Carly says at least she got out. Sonny tells Carly that he’ll give her a ride home. Dante says they have to come to the station for a statement.

Franco and Elizabeth go into Jake’s hospital room. Amy tells them he’s doing great. So great, they want to keep him overnight, so he can show the other kids how it’s done. Franco tells Jake that he’s brave; it takes a lot of courage to face the demons in your head. Jake asks if Helena is gone and not coming back. Elizabeth tells him that the nightmares are over, and only sweet dreams from now on.

Anna hears someone, and says close enough. She sees a man, and asks if Scorpio sent him. He says yes, showing ID, and that he has to take the Chimera to WSB headquarters. Anna says she’s coming along. She has to see for herself that it’s neutralized.

Nathan calls for a squad. He wants Nina to leave, but she won’t. He goes into the ballroom and we hear a gunshot. Nina runs in, and Valentin lies on the floor, bleeding. NOOOOO! Nina runs to him.

Tomorrow, Nathan wants to talk to Nina about Valentin, Epiphany has bad news, and Dante wants to know why Sonny and Carly were at the warehouse.

Below Deck Mediterranean

After nine hours total, the anchor is finally untangled and in. Captain Sandy has a new appreciation for Wes. Malia tells us she’s attracted to both Wes and Chef Adam. Chef Adam is feeling receptive to that.

Finally, tip time. The captain tells the crew about being considerate of others. Mostly because Bobby is a child. The tip from the Mr. Skin charter is $17,000, $1,500 each. The crew goes ashore for drinking time. Wes demonstrates making sounds by squishing his palms together. In her interview, Hannah says only Max isn’t interested in Malia. What’s up with Max? The crew goes back to the boat, and Adam breaks out some ribs. Adam’s ribs. Lauren is feeling sad and left out, and asks Bobby if he can forgive her. In his interview, he says that he’ll forgive, but not forget. Very original.

This time it’s a one-day charter that the primary guest, Eden, has set up for his girlfriend to celebrate some milestones in their lives. They want a Croatian dinner, but have no weird food requests, which makes Adam very happy. Especially after the last group, several of whom could only eat lettuce leaves harvested from the moon.

Bugs is trying to come to terms about not attending her grandmother’s funeral. The crew gets into their whites to great the guests. Champagne is handed out, and Hannah gives the tour. The agenda is a cheese plate, water toys, and lunch on shore. Wow. They have a lot of bags for just one day. Adam is impressed with how Bugs is always a step ahead.

Ohh, Max has a girlfriend. That explains why he’s not after Malia. He talks about his lady having a dancing contract in Dubai, and how it’s difficult to get out of the country. Malia learns more about dropping anchor. Wes wants to prove to the captain that he can handle his crew by himself.

Cheese plate, done. Water toys, happening. Weather, not so great. Captain Sandy says they have to drop anchor asap. Suddenly, a guest gets hurt falling off the banana. She’s hit her head, and Bobby asks questions like what year is it? In his interview, he says he went into firefighter mode, and wants to impress the captain, Wes, and Malia. Captain Sandy says they’re dragging anchor, and tells the crew to get the toys out of the water now.

Hannah decides to send Bugs with Adam on his shore shopping trip, since she could use a break. The yacht docks, and the captain checks on the guest who was hurt. She says she just got the wind knocked out of her, but I’ll bet she has a helluva headache too. Bugs asks Hannah if it’s okay if she gives Lauren guidance, and Hannah is all for that.

The guests go for lunch, and Adam and Bugs go to the market. Adam says he likes to follow the culture as a chef. As always, everything looks amazing – both the restaurant and the market food. Bobby thinks Hannah wants nothing to do with him now, and feels completely alone. Malia flirts with Wes.

Adam and Bugs stop for a drink, and Adam tells her that she’s strong and professional. He thinks they’ll work well together. The guests decide to bring the party on board, adding a few “friends.” Ten of them. Did they pick these people up at the restaurant?

Commercial break. Please. It’s for Trojan, and this girl is strolling along with the box peeking out of her bag. On purpose. Who does that? A hooker?

Lauren feels overwhelmed by the amount of people, but says it’s her time to shine. Adam wakes Hannah up to help when one of the guests comes to him looking for beer. Lauren is annoyed. Some extremely cool sorbet snacks are set out, and I covet the weirdly shaped dishes they’re being served in. The new friends leave before dinner, which I’m sure is a relief to the crew.

A Grecian flavor has been decided on for the Croatian dinner. Hannah asks Bobby if he’s good at this toga business. Malia thinks Adam is intriguing, but she once dated her captain, and says you know shipboard romance isn’t going to last. The table is decorated with gold, bunches of grapes, and palm fronds. One of the guests acts like an idiot, because Hannah asked him to leave the dining area while they were setting the table, and he didn’t want to wear an “f-ing toga,” when she asked him if he was into it. No more for him. A few of the guests and the crew sport togas.

Lauren feels like everyone thinks she’s incompetent. Adam says Bugs looks pretty fast next to Hannah, not that he’s calling Hannah lazy. Hannah brings out the deckhands in togas, and Adam follows with a four-layer cake to represent the primary guests’ four celebrations. The dudes discuss the tip, and crabby drunk guy acts all stingy. Hannah thinks if you have to argue about the tip, you’re a cheap ass.

One of the guests tells Hannah that she “feels energy,” because she’s sensitive to it, and thinks something is weird. Hannah tells her they’re just trying to clean up. Bugs says she feels weird energy when she’s wasted too. Lauren is looking for bottled water, and gives everyone attitude. Hannah talks to Adam about Wes, and thinks Malia should get with him. Adam isn’t thrilled with that idea.

Croatia is my new dream destination. It’s absolutely beautiful. Adam makes a fabulous breakfast to go with the scenery. Crabby-ass sips coffee. Hannah and Bugs discuss charging the radios. Hannah thinks Bugs and Adam are getting along well. Wes says some things about shoving off that I don’t understand because he talks in Swedish or something. The captain is pissed because there’s a stern line in the water. Bobby cops to it being his fault, surprising me. The captain wants Wes to handle the lines like he knows what he’s doing. Maybe he does, but they can’t understand him.

It’s time to say good-by to the guests. The girlfriend says the trip was spectacular. Let’s see if the tip is. Captain Sandy thanks the crew. The tip is $12, 000, $1,100 each. Hannah says not bad for a one-day charter. Agreed. Bugs tells Lauren the more overwhelmed she gets, the more it will eat her up. She says if Lauren needs help, to just ask her. In her interview, Lauren talks about being a people pleaser. Lauren tells Hannah she doesn’t think other crew members are respecting her position. She talks about the deckhands sitting around, and Hannah tells her to be assertive and ask. Hannah says that sitting around crying affects everyone, and to just stop. Bugs is annoyed that Hannah told her to deal with Lauren, and is now inserting herself. It’s all hugged out by the end of the conversation.

Everyone gets ready for down time on shore. Adam feels like Wes has had too much time with Malia, and wants to stake his claim. The crew goes to dinner. Everyone talks about their sex lives, and Bugs says she and Wes are waiting for marriage. In her interview, she says that she and her boyfriend aren’t clingy. Adam tells everyone that living in a van isn’t exactly a chick magnet. We see pictures though, and it’s not like a van down by the river; it looks like a small, but charming home. They move on to the club.

Malia tells Bugs she doesn’t want to hang out with Adam and ruin things with Wes. Everyone drinks more and dances. Bobby gets roses for the ladies. Lauren has felt like a weak link and is glad for the approval she’s feeling from Hannah. That’s just sad. Malia plucks her rose, doing loves me, loves me not. Bobby vogues. Adam tells Bugs what a great stew she is. She’s feeling uncomfortable because Hannah is within earshot. He asks if she thinks he has a chance with Malia. She thinks he should be worried about Wes. In his interview, he says Wes is Malia’s boss and it’s a no-no. Um, she already slept with her previous captain.

Wes says Malia is a hard decision to make, but good things are spontaneous. They flirt. They kiss. They kiss some more. He says this goes against everything. They return to the table separately. Malia tells Adam, who says that he’s not letting Wes take her, whatever that means. Wes tells Bugs that he’s conflicted. Back on the boat, Adam tells Malia to forget about the kiss. She says no. Bugs encourages Wes. Adam lays a kiss on Malia.

Next time, the guests consume six and a half bottles of vodka in less than six hours (a record!), Hannah and Adam clash, and Lauren tells Malia that romance with two crew members is not a good look. I agree. I’m disappointed in her.

If Loving You is Wrong

Travis asks Kelly if she missed him. She asks why he’s doing this. She asks what she can do to make him stop. He says make love to him – like she did the last time. She says okay. He tells her that if she tries anything, he’ll kill her, and Justice will find her dead, bloody corpse. That’s a little redundant, since all corpses are dead. She agrees. He wants to take a shower first because, who knows? He grabs a knife as they walk past the kitchen.

He asks Kelly why she’s scared. Then he shows her the knife. He asks if she wants him to put it down, and she says please do. He does, and says she still looks scared. She says it’s because of what he did. He’s all smiley and weird, and says she learns quick. He tells her to get on her knees. She begs him no.

Um… I think she bit him. He’s like ow! and she runs. She doesn’t get far. Travis knocks her down by the bathroom door. He hears Justice saying that he’s calling the police, and runs. Kelly locks herself in the bedroom with Justice.

Brad asks Marcie if she’s pregnant. She asks if he’s been talking to Alex, and he tells her that he has. She says she is, but it’s Randal’s. She can count, unlike his dumb-ass wife. He says he thought she couldn’t have children, but she says she was wrong. All the years she prayed for a baby, it comes now. She’s not telling Randal though. Marcie asks if Alex will tell him, but Brad says she’s not talking to him. He tells Marcie congratulations. She says she could accept it more if it was his, but scientifically, it’s not possible, as much as she wanted it to be. Brad thinks it’s wise not to tell Randal, especially with what he’s doing with Alex and custody of their baby. Marcie says it’s all about control. Brad says Alex thinks the baby is his, and tells Marcie that all this poison in her isn’t good. She says she loves him. They kiss, confusing me. He asks what she’s going to name the baby, and Marcie asks Brad to hold her. She tells him she’s sorry this happened, and he says him too.

It’s disco time! Julius is hanging at the club, when Ben walks in. I guess this is a strip club, but it looks like a throwback to the 70s. Julius snorts cocaine, and hopes his father is burning in hell. Alrighty then. Ben sits down. He says it’s awesome, and Julius asks which girl he wants. He says he has a girlfriend, and Julius smacks him, telling him not to say that, so Ben picks a girl. Julius calls for a drink. He asks what Ben likes, saying they have all kinds of candy. Julius tells him to enjoy, and Ben helps himself to some blow. Julius asks again what girl he wants, and says if he likes boys, he can get that too, but he doesn’t want to see it. Ben chooses a girl, and Julius tells her to do to Ben what she did to get into the party. Ben says he’s nervous because of cell phones. Julius shoots up in the air a couple of times. Everyone ducks and everything gets quiet, and Julius asks if there are any cell phones there. It’s a no, and everyone goes back to partying. Julius insists Ben continue. Honestly though, this looks like the Worst. Strip Club. Ever. It reminds me of a bar in my hometown. It was called The Interlude, and as kids, it all seemed very mysterious and sophisticated, and we were always trying to peek inside. During one of my vacations after moving away from home, a friend and I decided to check it out. It was like we’d stepped back into another era. There was fur along the bar like some cliché pimp’s dashboard, and one poor go-go girl was dancing all by herself in front of some mirrors on an empty dance floor. Absolutely no one was paying attention to her because – wait for it – Camelot was making it’s TV debut, and all of the patrons were glued to the screen.

Ben asks the girl to stop. Julius says he thinks Ben likes boys, and asks what’s going on. Ben says he’s been so nice, and Julius asks how the car is. Ben says he loves it, and drove it here, but wants to know why. Julius says it’s time to be honest. Before his father died, he told him, why make an enemy when you can use them to your advantage? He says the cops are his enemies, and Ben is being used. He tells Ben that after Julius Sr. died, the cops on his payroll got scared, and some got arrested. He says he’s starting his own crew. He tells Ben he’s not the only one. Ben leaves with the girl, and a guy whispers something to Julius. Julius says, Eddie.

Natalie thinks she slept too long, and tells Lushion she’s going to be up all night now. He asks how she’s feeling, and she says better, but wants to visit Joey tomorrow. He thinks they should test out the walls to find out how soundproof they are. She says his phone is vibrating, and he jokes that it’s not his phone, but it is. It’s Esperanza. She says she tried to call Kelly, but can’t get ahold of her. She asks Lushion to check on her. Natalie says now he’s cheating on her with Esperanza and has a baby with Alex. He adds that he’s going to check on his girlfriend Kelly, and explains about Travis still harassing her.

Lushion goes outside in his jammies. Natalie sees someone outside, and jumps up. She runs out the front door, and tells Lushion there was a man outside the window. He tells her to get inside, lock the door, call the police, and call Kelly.

The cops come to Kelly’s house. Lushion tells Dion that Kelly isn’t making this up, and Dion says he knows. Esperanza asks if Kelly wants to go to the hospital, but Kelly says Travis stopped when Justice said he was calling the police. She gets highly pissed at Dion, saying that Travis had to come at her with a knife before he believed her. She thanks him for serving and protecting, and tells him to go find Travis. He’ll be the one with a bite mark on his penis. I laugh, even though it’s not really funny. I wasn’t expecting it. Natalie and Esperanza take Kelly over to Natalie’s house.

Alex arrives slightly late to the hearing. She says she had to stop to feed her son. Randal gets mad because it’s not fair that Alex gets to visit. The judge asks if Randal would like an order so he can start breastfeeding, and I laugh again. Alex apologizes for wasting the court’s time, and says Randal is the father, and asks for custody. The judge asks why Alex held up the ruling, and Alex says that she was desperate. Randal says that’s no excuse, and the judge agrees. Randal’s lawyer asks for full custody, and no visitation without supervision. Alex begs Randal to let him stay with her, and he can see him whenever he wants to. The judge says he’s granting full custody to the only parent represented here. Randal and I say, what? According to the DNA, he’s not the father. We all look puzzled. Randal calls Alex a slut, and the judge tells him to calm down. He can’t believe it. Neither can Alex. The lawyer looks at the test, and Randal smacks it out of his hand. Randal stomps out, and his lawyer follows.

The judge explains about visits to see if it’s a safe environment, and says they’ll follow-up in thirty days. Alex thanks him. Man, I’d look out for Randal. Did Brad or someone else rig that test? Or are either Alex or Brad not entirely white? Could that be why Alex’s parents were such bigots?

Kelly emerges, and Natalie tells her that Lushion took the kids to school. Kelly says she’s embarrassed; she doesn’t even know how this happened. She’d loved Travis. Natalie says it could happen to any of them. She didn’t know he was crazy. She suggests Kelly get a gun. Kelly says Travis has been sneaking up on her, and she’d be afraid the tables would get turned. She says it’s hard being in the house because of Ramses. She slips about him being murdered there, and Natalie says she’s getting a preacher to bless the place. Kelly tells her to make sure it isn’t Travis. Natalie walks Kelly home.

Lushion gets a call from Pete, saying he’s being moved. He tells Lushion they’re taking Eddie down directly afterward. He asks if there’s any word on Andrew, but that’s a no. Lushion says he’ll call later. He’s surprised Steven finally decided to take Eddie down, but Steven says his boss did. He says this means he doesn’t get Escada. Lushion says maybe not like this, but they’ll get him. Steven says Lushion got his way, and he’s done with this.

Kelly gets an alarm system put into the house. Natalie’s friend Michelle arrives. She’s the gun lady. She shows Kelly a glock, and asks how it feels. Kelly asks if it’s legal, and Michelle shows her a license, saying she’ll still have to do a background check. She also suggests lessons. Kelly asks about safes, and Michelle says she can get one tomorrow. Kelly’s credit card is declined. Twice. Kelly gets another card, but it’s the same thing. Kelly has no idea what’s going on. Michelle asks if she has cash, and Kelly says that she’ll call the bank. Michelle says the wait will cost her. Kelly says fifteen minutes.

Michelle goes to wait in her car, and Kelly calls the bank. She asks Jill to run her card. Jill says it’s over the limit. Kelly asks about the charges, and Jill says it’s a bunch of sex toys, and all the cards are over the limit. She says Kelly could get into trouble at work. Kelly says Jill knows that’s not her. Jill says they were attached to her accounts, and she has no money. Kelly wonders why no one called. Yeah, me too. Jill says she’d better get to the bottom of it before the boss finds out. Kelly asks her to keep it between them until she can do some research. Forget that. I’d be going to boss and asking wth is going on with the security.

Ben’s driving the red sportscar when Eddie pulls him over. He asks why Ben Is in a car like that, and Ben says it’s his buddy’s car. Eddie asks if it’s a drug dealer’s car. Ben says no, but Eddie says he’s lying. He wants to run the plates. They’re in Ohio – I never knew that. I’m from Ohio. Eddie sees drugs in the car, and asks who Ben is running for. Ben says they’re his. Eddie finds out the car is registered to Julius. He smacks Ben around, and Ben claims he was just joy riding. Eddie tells Ben to get lost, and says he’s taking the car. He’s so incredibly stupid. Eddie drives away, and Ben gets into Eddie’s police car.

The girls arrive at Natalie’s house. They all compliment her, and she jokes that Alex’s baby daddy bought all the decor. Natalie asks Kelly if she’s okay, and she says she is, and just wants them to enjoy the evening. They discuss house alarms, and Natalie thinks she should get one too. Natalie says since Lushion invited them, she’s calling him to get some food.

Lushion wanders around the station, waiting. Natalie calls, and he says he can’t make it. He tells her something came up, but it’s just going to be her and the girls. He apologizes, and says it’s very important. She says she’ll order take-out. Steven tells him they don’t know where Eddie is, and Lushion practically hangs up on Natalie. Ben comes in, claiming that Eddie told him to bring his car back to the station. They tell him to go find Eddie. Lushion is concerned that Eddie knows what’s up, but Steven says that’s impossible.

Eddie turns his radio off to enjoy the high. Julius pulls up behind him. Oh, Eddie is doing something other than drugs. He has a girl in the car. Julius says Eddie seems to know a lot about him, and he’s about to save his life again. He tells Eddie not to go to the station – the FBI is waiting. Eddie asks how he knows, and Julius says he knows a lot of things. He has people everywhere. He says Eddie’s captain is in Columbia because he was about to be brought in. Eddie says he’d never mention Julius, but Julius says his time is up at that station; it’s time for new blood. He says if Eddie gets busted and mentions his name… Eddie says he’d never do that. Julius asks if he’s hard of hearing. Eddie says he knew Lushion was FBI. Julius says he doesn’t know Lushion, but he knows his informant, and Eddie had better get lost; he can’t afford him. Eddie says he understands, and he’s going. Julius tells him to clean the seats, and bring the car to his house. Eddie kicks the girl out of the car, and looks like he has a headache.

There’s a knock at Natalie’s door. It’s Marcie bearing wine. She asks if it’s a party and should she come back, but Natalie says it’s just the girls, and come on in. Marcie sits next to Alex. She asks if there’s anything juicy to talk about, and Esperanza thinks they should break out the wine. Marcie says that she thought Alex would have told them – she’s pregnant. She tells them that it’s Brad’s. Now Kelly looks like she has a headache. Marcie says she kept trying with Randal, and one time with her new man, and bam. She asks how Alex’s baby is, and Natalie says they’re not doing this in her new house. Alex says she’ll leave, and Esperanza says they need to stop all of this right now. Alex says that’s not going to happen with Marcie, and Marcie runs her mouth some more. She tells Natalie that she and Lushion have great taste, and she and Alex have great taste in men. She says it turns out Randal isn’t the father of Alex’s baby. She tells them about the DNA test, and how hard she laughed when Louise told her. She says Randal thinks the baby is Lushion’s. Natalie says it is not, and Marcie says she thought the same thing about Randal. Esperanza tells Marcie to stop. Alex says it’s nobody’s business, and the baby isn’t Lushion’s. She gets up to leave, calling for the kids. Esperanza tells her not to involve the kids, and Alex says send them home when they’re done. She walks out, and they follow.

Alex tells Natalie she knows she wouldn’t do that. On the porch of Alex’s house, Brad sees them, and asks what’s going on. Marcie won’t leave, and Alex wants to talk in private. Marcie asks if he really wants to talk to her, and he says he’ll see her back at the apartment. She kisses him and grabs his crotch, saying she’s warming up her dinner. Like Brad would want her acting so absurd. Alex and Brad go inside, and Marcie sits on the porch.

Brad asks what that’s about, and Alex tells him Marcie is harassing her. Brad says he told her to stop, but she’s not listening. Alex asks why he did that, and he says he’s had enough of her suffering, and doesn’t want her to be hurt. They hug. Alex begs him not to leave. She tells him she loves him. He says they can’t do this. She asks him to say he loves her too. He starts to leave, and she stops him. They start to kiss. Marcie hears noises. She can’t believe it. She gets in her car.

Alex and Brad continue to make out. Marcie drives away.

Steven tells Lushion that it’s going down. Lushion says he’s been waiting for this – bye, Eddie.

Eddie is being pursued by the cops. He hears it on the radio, and tries to avoid them. Too late. He’s blocked. They draw their guns. He looks up, thinking he can fly out of this, but no. He lights a joint instead. Why not? A cop tells him to get out of the car and he just looks at them. He’s surrounded.

Kelly tells Natalie it’s not true, and she doesn’t need to talk to Lushion. Kelly offers to take the kids home, but Natalie intervenes, and the entire household walks out. It’s like a small parade, and looks a little ridiculous. The kids ask what’s going on, and Kelly sends the kids who don’t belong to Alex to her house. Esperanza tells Natalie this is not the time, and Kelly adds that she’s never even seen them together.

Suddenly, Dion and Rick appear, and tell Kelly that she’s under arrest – for Ramses’ murder.

We hear a gunshot from Kelly’s house.

The end – for now.


May 23, 2017 – The Ball Begins, Travis Menaces Kelly, the Anchor Tangles & a Phantom of the Paradise Flashback


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Mario Lopez is coming to us live from the red carpet, along with Nina.

Sam asks Jason what’s going on; he hasn’t been the same since the nightmare. He doesn’t get a chance to answer, since Jake arrives with Elizabeth and Franco. He pulls a billion silk scarves from his pocket.

Ava hauls out the giant check. Scotty says she’s just trying to assuage her guilt for what she did to Morgan.

Michael stops by Sonny’s house to drop off Morgan’s journal. He thinks it stinks that Sonny and Carly can’t even be in the same ballroom together.

Carly tells Bobbie about catching Sonny with Martina. Bobbie suggests stringing Sonny up by his cummerbund, but Carly says Sonny isn’t coming to the ball. A year ago, they had so much to look forward to, and now look.

Michael tries to talk Sonny into going to the ball, but it’s a no. He asks why Sonny wanted Morgan’s journal.

Valentin arrives with his date, Charlotte. Nina doesn’t bat an eye when Mario introduces him as her husband, and takes Charlotte to pose for the paparazzi. Valentin tells Nina she looks beautiful, and Charlotte says she misses her. Nina makes the excuse of having a lot of work. Charlotte says Lulu picked out her dress, and Nina suggests thanking her. Valentin asks what he can do to make things right, but Nina says there’s nothing. He should have put his family first. He says Anna will never come between them again, and begs Nina to come back. Anna arrives with Emma and Felicia.

Michael talks to Sonny about Morgan being fine last year. He wonders what happened, and thinks about it all the time. He asks what sent Morgan off the rails, but Sonny doesn’t know, and doesn’t know if he’ll ever find out.

Scotty tells Ava that’s a hefty amount, and Ava sys Lucy put the squeeze on her. Lucy floats by, and Scotty gives her flowers from him and Serena. Ava asks if they’re all set for tonight, and Lucy says everyone got the memo that her donation is in memory of Morgan.

Carly tells Bobbie that she feels sorry for Sonny. Bobbie does too – in this one isolated department. Carly says they’re trying to understand why, and Bobbie wishes she had the answer. She says there’s still life to be lived and people to be loved though. They hug. Josslyn walks in and joins them. Bobbie says, opening number, here she comes; and the three of them leave for the ball, arm in arm.

Nina ditches Valentin. She emphasizes that Anna is with her granddaughter. Emma gives a shout out to Robin, who’s at home with her feet up. Griff joins them. Charlotte talks to Emma, who suggests she can be a magician’s assistant too.

Jake goes in to put some finishing touches on his act. Jason seems troubled, or as Sam puts it, weird. He says it felt like more than a nightmare. Helena took everything he loved away from him, and he can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

Charlotte goes backstage with Emma. Griff asks Anna what’s up with her and Valentin, and why would she want anything else to do with him. She says because of this, and shows him the necklace.

Jason tells Sam there’s a lot he still doesn’t remember. He wonders why Helena would still be in his head.

Nina introduces Franco, Elizabeth and Jake. Franco says the Nurses Ball isn’t going to know what hit it. I’ll bet. Epiphany and Felix are next, followed by Amy 2.0. Nathan rescues her from answering questions. Mario asks where Maxie is, and Nathan says she’s working. The Queen of the Nurses Ball graces the red carpet – Lucy.

Scotty asks Ava if she’s flaunting her affair with Morgan. She says it’s a gesture, and he suggests it might offend Morgan’s parents with a public reminder of what happened. He tells her not to do it.

Sonny tells Michael he’s going to try and piece together what Morgan did, and why. Michael tells him good luck. Sonny sits down with the journal. After reading something, he picks up the phone and says he needs to see someone right away. It’s about Morgan.

Jason and Sam walk the carpet. They talk about Scout. Amy II thanks Nathan for saving her, and tells him sorry Maxie couldn’t make it. She talks about working a lot, and he asks if she has another job, but she gets whisked away before she can answer. Nina asks Nathan how she’s supposed to trust Valentin again.

Charlotte asks Jake if she can be in the magic show, and he says okay. Anna explains what a chimera is to Griff. She says it was also the name of a WSB project, and tells him about Alex. Griff asks why Anna is involved, and she says the Chimera is out there somewhere, waiting to be unleashed.

Michael joins Bobbie and Carly. He asks Bobbie about Nelle, and Josslyn is surprised that she’s in the hospital.

Andre arrives at Sonny’s house. Sonny points out the difference in the dosages that Morgan should have been taking and what’s on the bottle. Andre says he noticed, but wanted to be absolutely sure before opening old wounds. Sonny says he doesn’t want Carly to know anything until it’s concrete. Andre tells him that the pharmacy dispensed 600 mg to Morgan, and has no idea why the pills were 300 mg. Sonny asks if it would have made that radical of a difference, and Andre says the only way Morgan could have veered that far off course is if he wasn’t taking lithium at all.

Griff tells Anna to call Robert, but she doesn’t think he’d make any progress. He suggests she at least wait. Jason asks Elizabeth about Jake, and she says he’s back to his old self. Sam asks if Jason feels any better, but he says no.

Jake tells the girls that the magic set was a birthday gift from Spencer. Emma tells Jake that Spencer was saving the gift for when he saw him, and it’s not a magic set. Ruh-roh!

Jordan and Curtis are approached by a reporter whose name is Pinacchio, and I wonder if that’s supposed to be a joke. Curtis tells him that the ball is going to be full of surprises.

Ava tells Lucy she’s taking her advice and leaving Morgan out of the donation. Lucy says Scotty must have had something to do with it, and he says she can thank him later. Lucy says Ava is selfish, and she’s surprised he’s thrown in with her. He says she’s the one who blackmailed Ava. Lucy says that was for a good cause, and hopes Sonny skewers her, but she’s glad it’s not going to be tonight.

Bobbie tells Josslyn what happened to Nelle, and that Nelle’s kidney was bruised, but she should be fine. They go inside.

Sonny dumps the pills out of the bottle, and asks Andre if he’s sure. Andre says it’s the only explanation that makes any sense. Sonny says he trusts the journal 100% and Andre agrees. Sonny says Morgan wrote that he was taking the medication. He looks into the empty bottle and says, what’s that?

Carly and crew enter the carpet area. Nina asks about Sonny. Carly says he couldn’t make it, but wants everyone to know that the fight against HIV/AIDS is dear to his heart. Carly asks Bobbie about Nelle, but she says tonight is about fun.

Sonny says there’s powder, like a pill broke or crumbled. He tastes it, and says there’s something else in the vial. Andre takes it to have it tested.

Mario interviews total strangers. Sonny sits down to watch. Scotty and Ava are up next. Mario says that Sonny and Carly must be moved by the donation she made in memory of Morgan. Anna drops the necklace going in.

Lucy starts the show. She says it’s not about the glitz and glamour, or her ending up in her underwear, which is not going to happen this year. She gives a shout out to this year’s sponsor, Burt’s Bees, and tells us that the first Nurses Ball was 23 years ago. Lucy says that the key word is nurses, who are the heart and soul of the hospital. She suggests we see what they’re up to tonight, and the curtain opens. We see a screen with the opening number filmed in the hospital. I’m confused, especially when they end up on the stage, since the ball is supposed to be at the MetroCourt. Okay. Suspension of disbelief happening.

Jake tells the girls not to tell anyone and ruin the surprise. Sam tells Jason to stop focusing on his dream. He asks how she’s doing, and she’s good. She tells him to get himself a scotch. Lucy reminds everyone that they’re at the ball to make donations. Jake says the big finale is the most important part. He says it’s all about this, and shows them the Chimera martini shaker.

Anna wants to talk to Valentin. He tells her to talk to her sister. Anna says Alex can’t help, but he can. She asks him to put aside his justifiable anger, and do the right thing. Jason sees the necklace on the floor.

Michael tells Carly that she and Sonny aren’t as far apart as they think they are. He wants her to admit she misses him. Ava is annoyed about the reporter saying something about Morgan. She says it’s going to be all over everywhere. Scotty doesn’t think Sonny will be able to follow the breadcrumbs. Maybe. Maybe not. But he’s here.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Nelle asks for Michael, Anna wants to know where the Chimera is, Jake tells Emma not to touch it, and Andre checks on the pill bottle test.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we last left, Travis had flattened Kelly’s tire and hid in her car trunk. When she went looking for the spare, he popped out of the trunk and wrestled her to the ground.

Travis asks Kelly why she went to the cops. Like she can talk with his hand over her mouth. He says she doesn’t know him, and starts to choke her. Kelly whacks him with something and runs, but he tackles her. He tries to choke her again on someone’s front lawn. Where is everybody? She keeps trying to yell for someone to call 911. If nothing else, Travis is a bold one. Kelly tells him she’s sorry. She says she can’t breathe, and he says good, which isn’t a positive sign. She loses consciousness, and Travis asks if she’s dead. He feels for a pulse and says she is, but I have my doubts. Mostly because Travis is such an idiot, he probably doesn’t even know what a pulse is.

Travis laughs to himself. A woman with a gun appears, and says she’s calling the police. Travis claims Kelly has passed out, and tells her to call an ambulance. The woman says she saw him attacking her, but he insists he was helping. He pretends to do CPR, and Kelly comes to. He tells her, you’ve lived to see another day, bitch.

The amazing Lushion tells the kids to keep the noise down and let Natalie sleep; she’s exhausted after finding out about Joey. Pete calls to ask if there’s any word on Andrew. Lushion says if there is, he’ll let Pete know. He asks if Pete talked to the FBI. Pete says he gave a full statement, and they’re picking Eddie up after they move Pete. Lushion asks if Pete is worried. I would be. Pete says he just doesn’t know where his life is going. Lushion calls him a good kid, and says he has a great future ahead. Yeah, if Eddie doesn’t get to him first. Lushion says Pete is going to see him sooner than he thinks, and he’ll call later.

Esperanza wonders what’s taking Kelly so long. The kids go in the backyard to play on the swings. Lushion comes by. Esperanza wants to see the new house, and asks about Natalie. He says she’s asleep; it’s been a long day. Esperanza says not as long as it is for Kelly. She tells Lushion that his boy DION – finally, a name! – keeps saying it’s Kelly causing problems, when Travis is the one harassing her.

Lushion tells Esperanza that Andrew is missing, and he thinks Alex knows something about it. Esperanza asks if he thinks Alex’s parents had something to do with it, but he doesn’t know. He tells her to talk to Alex, but not let on that he’s the one who asked. He asks if Esperanza can also get the girls together to come over to cheer Natalie up. He tells her that Joey is in jail for violating probation; he’s in the prison hospital. Geez. If you think your life is bad, just watch an episode of this show.

Somehow, Kelly gets back home. Why isn’t she at the police station? What about the witness? Esperanza asks what happened to her. Kelly starts to cry, and tells her about Travis being in the trunk of her car. She asks where Justice is, and says she doesn’t want him to see her like this. Esperanza takes her inside. She takes pictures, and asks if Kelly called the police, but Kelly says they won’t believe her. Esperanza calls Lushion and asks him to come over. She gets Kelly some water, and I wonder what she charges for a full glass.

Lushion comes in, and Kelly explains what happened with Travis. He says Travis has gone way too far. Esperanza says none of the officers are doing anything. Lushion says he’s getting involved, but Kelly is afraid it will make Travis crazier. Lushion says he’s right next door, but Kelly is worried about what happens when he’s not there. Lushion says when he’s done with Travis, he won’t be bothering her again. He knows how to deal with these guys.

Lushion goes to the station. He asks Dion what he’s doing about Travis, and says he was in Kelly’s trunk. Dion shows him the texts, and Lushion says something isn’t right. Dion thinks that Kelly and Travis are both crazy and wasting his time. Lushion says that Kelly had marks from Travis choking her, and to just bring him in for questioning. Dion says that Travis is from a prominent family, and he doesn’t trust Kelly. Okay, he’s back on my jerkface list. Lushion calls for Steven, but Steven says there’s nothing he can do. Lushion is worried that Travis is going to kill Kelly, but Steven says sorry. He asks Lushion if he told Pete to talk to the FBI. Lushion says that he did, and Steven says he told him to wait. They haven’t gotten Escada yet. He says he’s getting enough heat from upstairs, and just slow down a little. Lushion says he wants Travis brought in. Steven says he can’t, and Lushion says then he will. He’ll make it federal. Steven says Eddie is already on to him, but our beloved Lushion is willing to take the chance. Steven says he’ll bring Travis in.

A-hole Eddie tells Lushion that word on the street is, he’s a baby daddy. He tells Eddie to get out of his face and get the real info. Eddie calls him a bitch, and says he can’t wait until Lushion’s world crumbles around him. Lushion says he has a bitch for Eddie all right.

Lushion goes back to Kelly’s house. He says Travis is nowhere to be found, but there’s a warrant out for his arrest. He tells her forget Dion and Rick, he went over their heads. He says if she needs anything, to call him. He reminds them about the get-together for Natalie.

Esperanza tells Kelly about cheering Natalie up, and asks if she can come. Kelly says it’s not like she has anything else going on. She says it’s hard going into that house and not thinking about Ramses, but Esperanza says maybe they’ve changed things around. Kelly says he was so sweet. She thinks Travis did something to him. He has everybody fooled, but Esperanza says not her and Lushion. She suggests Kelly spend the night at her place, but Kelly doesn’t want to be forced out of her own house. She says his ass better not come back. She says Lushion is also right next door. Esperanza doesn’t like it, but she has to go. Kelly locks the door behind her.

Alex sees a car outside. She goes out to find Brad sitting in the driveway. He says he didn’t know she was home, since there’s no car. She says she had a wreck, and asks if he wants to come in. When he doesn’t, she asks to join him, and gets in the passenger seat. He asks about the baby, and she says that he’s been put into foster care because of her parents. Brad says, sorry to hear that, and she tells him that Randal had a court hearing for custody. The judge almost granted it to him, so she threw a Hail Mary and said he wasn’t the father, but he is. She says all she did was postpone the inevitable. Alex asks why Brad is there, but he doesn’t know. He asks if that’s why Randal thinks the baby is Lushion’s, and tells her about Randal’s visit to his office. She calls Randal a bastard. She tells him that Lushion came over to borrow a candle, and Randal saw him. She talks about how nice it is to have them in the neighborhood, but that she has to straighten things out, and already spoke with Natalie. Brad says Eddie knows, and Alex says great, another excuse for him to hate her. Brad says he still loves her (Brad does, not Eddie), but he’s scared. He doesn’t think he could go through that again, and Alex says it will never happen again. Brad doesn’t think he could live with the baby, and Alex says she thought about that too. She says what if the roles were reversed, and wonders how she would feel.

Alex says that she wants to tell Brad congratulations, and he says for what. She says it’s okay; she knows, but he doesn’t understand what she’s talking about. She says she knows Marcie is pregnant. Brad says she’s not, but Alex says she is; they have the same doctor. She’s surprised that Marcie hasn’t told him. Brad says he has to go – not because of that, because of him. Creepy Randal’s face is at the car window. He says that they have a hearing tomorrow, and Alex should get her beauty rest. He asks if she still wants to meet in the shed, but maybe this isn’t a good time to ask. He says he’ll be in there warming it up, like the d-bag he is.

Brad says he takes it back. Alex tries to explain, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He says he thought he couldn’t do it because of the baby, but it’s really because of Randal. She suggests they move, but Brad says they can’t afford it. He wants to do some bad things to Randal. Join the club. Alex says something bad almost happened to him, but Brad says almost doesn’t count. Alex gets out of the car, and Brad drives off. Randal watches from the porch. Eddie and Randal are the worst.

Randal asks if they’re getting back together, but Alex says nothing. He tells her that he’ll be in the shed. She goes in, and he says maybe not.

Kelly wakes up to a dog barking. She checks on Justice, seeing the top of his head. She pulls down the covers, and he’s fine. She makes sure the windows are locked. I’m as anxious as she is, wondering when and where Travis will pop out. She checks the rest of the house, and I wonder why she’s not carrying a weapon. She makes sure the front windows are locked. I can’t take this stress. She makes sure the doors are locked, and puts the chain on. I can’t stand it. She goes back to bed, but I’m not comfortable.

She turns out the light. Travis’s hand comes over her mouth and I almost scream.

Next time, the 90-minute mid-season finale, Lushion tells Natalie to lock the door, the custody hearing happens, Julius tells Ben that he’s looking for a new crew, Steven says it’s going down, and Lushion says, “Bye, Eddie.”

Below Deck Mediterranean

The wind has picked up, the yacht is about to hit the rocks, and Max is trying to push the boat with the tender. That isn’t a euphemism for anything. He’s supposed to push the yacht with a smaller boat. Captain Sandy asks what he’s waiting for, and she has to explain how it works. Hannah brings chips and dips for the guests, even though she’s concerned. The captain wants to reset the anchors, and Wes explains to the guests that it’s nothing, even though it’s something.

Lauren is annoyed that Bobby is going around talking smack about her. She’d thought they were friends. Bobby whines about being alone and losing his only friend, Hannah. Well, he should have thought about that before. Bugs is feeling down about her grandmother’s passing, and feels like she should be with her family, but tries to keep her chin up. The guests go naked paddle-boarding. Hannah tries to get Chef Adam to put on an apron with a muscle-guy’s body on it, but that’s a no. Captain Sandy is invited to dine with the guests.

More naked news is filmed. A request has been made for a cake shaped like a nude woman for dessert after dinner. Adam finds that baking it is more fun than he thought it would be. The captain is concerned about everyone being nakey at the table.

Bobby whines some more about his life sucking. He wants to be friends with Hannah again. He pulls her aside, and says he jumped to conclusions. Hannah says that she never said anything bad about him, and he says that’s not what Lauren told him. They hug it out, and Hannah says her feelings were hurt. In her interview, Hannah says that Bobby has burned her one too many times, so she’s proceeding with caution.

Four fabulous courses are in the making, and with the captain at the table, the pressure is on. Hannah says it’s important to her, because even though they got off to a rocky start, she and the captain are in a good place now. Anchor watch is set up. Bobby shows Wes a stupid video on his phone, while Lauren slaves over the laundry. In her interview, Hannah says you have to be thick-skinned in the yachting biz.

Lauren isn’t talking to anyone, so Bugs tries to engage her. Lauren says she just wants to do her job, and not be trashed by anyone. She starts getting all weepy, and Bugs can’t believe it, since she just lost her grandma.

The table is gorgeous, with lots of crystal and gold and sparkles. Mr. Skin talks about how he got into the business by watching lots of movies. Adam (who I keep wanting to call “Ben”) flirts with Malia. In his interview, he talks about a long-term relationship he had. His girlfriend never told her parents about him because of cultural differences, and she broke his heart. Lauren overhears Bobby talking about her. Malia is helping at the same time she’s on anchor watch. That sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

Adam tells Hannah that she should slow down and give the guests time to enjoy the meal. Captain Sandy tells a tale of the sea at the table, while the entrees are put together. Bugs says it’s all about communication, and Adam says it’s the first time he’s sweating in the galley. He and Bugs put cake nipples together. The crew don shirts with bikini bodies on them. The captain excuses herself, and claims she’s going to look them up online.

The cake is served. The crew gets a standing ovation, and Bobby sees dollar signs. Mr. Skin says he can’t wait for the pie section, and even I have to laugh. Adam thanks everyone for their help. Apparently, naked cakes are difficult business, and take a village. He watches on closed circuit as one of the guests spins around on the lazy Susan without underwear. Is this one of those bleachable moments?

Lauren calls her father. She tells him she’s feeling alone. In her interview, she says that her parents are going through a messy divorce, and one of the reasons she took the job was to get away from it. She realizes she has to just focus on her work. Hannah and Bugs have coffee on deck, and Hannah gives Bugs kudos for a job well done. Bugs says it’s hard to believe she won’t be doing things anymore with her grandmother. Hannah talks about losing her brother at a young age, when he was just ten. She says Bugs’s family would be proud of her.

Malia is glad for an easy day, since she had to work until 3 am. The deckhands pull up the anchor, but something is wrong. There’s a huge, messy ball of chains that keeps the anchor from going up totally. Malia is like, of course, since it’s her first time pulling up anchor. Max says he’s never seen it this bad, and doesn’t have an actual solution. He explains this is what happens when you have two anchors and the boat starts moving around. Captain Sandy says they’re in trouble, since they have to get the guests to port in time. She says it’s the same as a necklace being tangled; you work the chain until it loosens. Ugh. Good luck.

The guests are starting to look, which puts more pressure on the deckhands. Bobby tries to tell the captain what to do, and she says she needs assistance, not resistance. Bugs says the crew has to keep the drama to themselves, and keep the guests distracted. Bobby continues to tell Captain Sandy how to do her job. She reminds him that she’s been doing this for nearly thirty years. In his interview, Max says when it comes to emergency situations, you just follow orders.

Captain Sandy leans almost entirely over the side of the boat. Max explains that the last thing you want to do is cut the anchor, since those are your brakes. The guests do some more naked news, and the captain calls for a water taxi. Wes gets into the water. He wants to see what he can from a safe distance.

Somehow, they make things worse, and the wind is picking up. Hannah explains to the guests that they’re having a problem with the anchor, but they’re getting a tender to bring them back so they can enjoy the afternoon. Captain Sandy gives the deckhands instructions over the walkie-talkie. Ooh, Adam is in full distraction mode and just made the most amazing appetizers. One of the guests says it’s plant-based paradise. Hannah calls for help putting the luggage on the taxi, and the captain tells the crew to get in their dress uniforms. Bobby is concerned the delay will affect their tip.

The guests had a fabulous – or “skintastic” – time. Mr. Skin tells the crew how much they enjoyed themselves. He has some individual compliments, and calls the captain “badass,” giving her the tip. He adds that getting stuck didn’t affect anything; they’re all happy. The guests board the tender. The captain tells the crew to grab something to eat and get back to it; they’ll deal with the tip later. Bobby says it’s like being on Gilligan’s Island, except they’re the island. He explains to Bugs how the anchor got tangled.

Bugs calls home, and says she wants to be there. If they want her to come, she will. Sounds like she’s staying. Lauren apologizes to Bugs, and says she was being selfish. They hug it out, but Bugs isn’t sure what she’s apologizing for. I guess her mind is (understandably) somewhere else, since she was previously annoyed with Lauren being self-centered.

A rope gets tangled in the anchor lines, and one of the deckhands tries to cut it. In the meantime, the girls decide to go for a swim. Adam is content to watch. It’s illegal to pull into port without an anchor, and no way is the captain losing them. We hear a big noise. To be continued…

Next time, who knows? They didn’t say. We never got to my favorite part either – tip time.

🍸 Tomorrow, Bethenny is a guest on Watch What Happens Live. I always look forward to her spilling the tea. The LA week has been fun so far, but I’m really not feeling the large, vocal audience.

May 16, 2017 – Nelle is Found, Julius Visits Randal, Naked People on a Boat & Some Extra Stuff


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Michael sees Nina at the MetroCourt and asks if she’s spoken to Nelle, but she hasn’t, and she hasn’t checked her messages. He says she might want to listen to the message Nelle left; she’s quitting. Charlotte comes running up to Nina. Lulu has her there for ice cream. Lulu tells Nina that no one picked Charlotte up from school, so they called her. Nelle was a no-show.

That’s because she’s unconscious on the docks.

Elizabeth and Franco bring the boys home. Franco tells Jake that he totally scored with his magic act, and they’ll open the rest of the presents tomorrow, when Jason and Sam are there. Ack. This show has a bit of a problem with continuity at times – they said they were doing that yesterday. Elizabeth and Franco go to the kitchen, and Jake tells Aiden not to tell anyone what he saw, not even Cameron. It’s a secret.

Griff is washing up, since we have to see him shirtless as often as possible. He makes a call to Anna and leaves a message. He says he wants to make sure she’s taking care of herself, and if she needs anything, he’s there.

In London, Anna tries to speak, and the doctor calls for a sedative. He prepares the injection, and she says, no, it’s a mistake. He tells Sister Caroline that the patient has to be sedated at all times.

We revisit fake Anna and Valentin’s scene from yesterday. She says she only wants him, and he rips the chimera necklace off of her. He says she just wants the Chimera, and after all this time, he’s a step ahead of her. She squawks about the necklace, and he says that can be fixed, but the watch probably can’t. He tells her that it’s just as well. He doesn’t want anyone listening in on what’s going to happen.

The doctor tells Sister Caroline that the patient is disoriented, and he doesn’t want her causing herself harm. He tells Caroline to do her job and he’ll do his. In her mind, Anna tells herself not to give in and to fight it.

Valentin says the watch explains how “Anna” knew where and when to find him, and why she didn’t want to take the watch back. She admits to spying on him, and says he’s created the life he’s wanted for himself. It includes Nina and Charlotte, but it’s the illusion of a family. They come from the same place and have made the same compromises. Nina will never understand, and maybe that’s why he wants more. Within their lies is a truth that Nina can never understand. Valentin says he understands she wanted the Chimera so much, she was willing to trash his life, so good luck seducing it out of him.

Jake tells Aiden that he wasn’t supposed to see it, and Jake is the only one who can use it. Elizabeth and Franco come back in. Elizabeth thinks Aiden is tired, so she sends him upstairs. Jake won’t let Franco touch the box, saying a magician never gives up his secrets. Franco says he has a point. Franco asks if he wants to do an encore of last year for the Nurses Ball, but Jake wants a solo. He’s going to do magic.

Griff sees Charlotte at the bar eating ice cream. I guess Port Charles has no laws prohibiting children sitting at bars like like we do IRL. He tells her that he and her father had angry words, but he didn’t mean to scare her. He asks if they can be friends. Charlotte says she’s supposed to be polite to him. He asks if he can join her.

Lulu doesn’t understand why Valentin can’t be bothered to pick up his messages. Nina says he was otherwise engaged. She asks Lulu if she didn’t want to spend more time Charlotte. They all wonder where Nelle is. Michael leaves to find out. Lulu says Nina is being quiet, and Nina says her feelings are none of Lulu’s business. Lulu says as Charlotte’s mother, she has a right to know what’s going on, and she’d care less about Nina’s life if it didn’t impact her daughter’s.

Charlotte shares her ice cream with Griff. She shows him a flyer for a spring festival at her school. He thinks she should invite everyone. She says she’ll invite him if he doesn’t fight with her poppa. He apologizes for losing his temper, and asks her to forgive him.

Nina tells Lulu sorry that she’s not getting dramatic, but she’s trying to show Charlotte that when things don’t go your way, you adjust and move on. Michael comes back, telling them that the housekeeper at Windemere hasn’t seen Nelle, even though all of her things are there, and Nelle isn’t answering her phone. He wants to go out to Windemere, and Nina tells him to call them when he finds out anything. Nina says she doesn’t have time to deal with Lulu. Lulu says Charlotte thought her father left her like Claudette did. Nina says he would never do that. Lulu says to tell Valentin it’s going to cost him. Nina says tell him herself, because she’s not going back to Windemere.

Elizabeth asks if Jake feels better about things. Franco says he was on the island and it’s a scary place. Jake says he’s not scared anymore. Franco suggests he practice some magic.

Sister Caroline says she’s grateful for the doctor saving “Alex’s” life. He tells her that he doesn’t need her gratitude, just her cooperation. Anna thinks, just help me, and Caroline tells her not to fight it, and just rest.

Valentin says “Anna” didn’t care about the reach of the Chimera when she asked him to steal it, now she’s using her powers for good? She says it’s for them. He calls her delusional and arrogant. (Who else is delusional and arrogant? Keep thinking.) She says their pull toward each other is stronger than the lies they tell themselves. He’s still alive because she cared about him. She gets testy about the Chimera, and says just tell her where it is, so it can be over. Then she corrects herself, saying then they can be together, if he wants.

Lulu asks Nina if there’s trouble. Nina says she’s going to be working into the night, and so is Valentin. Griff joins them with Charlotte, and tells them he was invited to the spring festival. Nina says it’s Charlotte’s night, and she can invite whoever she wants. Charlotte goes to get her backpack, and Lulu says Charlotte is coming home with her.

Michael calls out for Nelle at the docks. He sees the crates toppled, and finds her. He tells her she’s going to be okay, and calls 911. Yeah. You’re the jerk who left her there alone in the dark, when there have been 47 murders there.

Franco shuffles the cards. Elizabeth picks one. Jake says don’t show it to him. He makes the correct guess, a queen of hearts. Franco says they’re all queens, and turns them over. Sure enough, they are. Jake says not all, and tells Franco to look in his wallet, where he finds a king of hearts. Jake says a magician never tells his secrets, and goes upstairs. Franco says he must have done it at the park, and Elizabeth says maybe he can do magic. They agree it’s good to see him acting normal.

“Anna” tells Valentin that it’s always been about them and what they need. Passion and betrayal goes hand in hand. If he didn’t want it as much as she did, he wouldn’t have let Nina leave. She talks about what she heard when listening in, and says the marriage was never going to last, because Nina doesn’t know who he really is. He tells her to stop it. She asks if he’s going to kill her or make love to her. I was actually hoping for him ripping off her mask.

Nelle is brought into the hospital. Michael says she came to briefly and seemed to recognize him, but he thinks she was attacked. Her purse and phone are nowhere to be found. He tells them she only has one kidney. Griff wheels her in.

Nina tells Lulu not to be ridiculous; Charlotte is coming with her. Lulu asks if she’s going to sleep on the office floor, and says she’s taking her home. Nina says if the judge finds out, Lulu is going to have a problem, but Lulu says the judge will see that Valentin’s perfect life isn’t so perfect. Nina says they didn’t call her, and Lulu says that’s because she’s not Charlotte’s mother. Nina says she couldn’t love Charlotte more if she’d given birth to her. Lulu says she should want what’s best for Charlotte then.

Franco moves in for a kiss, but Elizabeth is like, not now. He says she was glad to see him at the park, but she says the problem is that he lied. He says he just left out some details. She says she thought they were in it together, and he tells her that she would have tried to talk him out of it. They argue a little, say I love you, and kiss.

“Anna” asks why Valentin is doing this, when what they want is to be together. He says they don’t always want what’s best for themselves. She asks what’s the alternative, deny what they want? She says separately, they’re forces to be reckoned with, but together, they’re unstoppable. No more games. He says she’s right. Game over. She loses.

Caroline tells real Anna, sorry, and calls her Dr. Merrick. Anna thinks she has to resist, but the more she fights, the weaker she becomes. She tells herself it’s like a current, and to slip away and rise to the surface. She tries to mess with the tube in her arm, and Caroline starts to call for Dr. Lancaster, but Anna grabs her arm.

Elizabeth says that Franco was trying too hard to protect her, and he says that she was trying too hard to protect him from Jason. He says whatever should come up in their lives together, he’ll trust her. She says from now on she’ll trust that he can take risks. He thinks they’re good at the relationship thing. They kiss some more, and Jake comes downstairs.

Charlotte says she’s ready to go home. Lulu asks if she’d like to spend night. Nina says she and Charlotte’s poppa are both working late, and she can do a sleepover. Charlotte agrees and leaves with Lulu.

Anna wonders why she’s there at the hospital. Caroline says Dr. Lancaster found her in her flat. Anna says that’s not right, and Caroline says she’s just disoriented and she’ll get the doctor.  Anna says, please don’t. She’s not Alex; she’s Anna Devane.

“Anna” tells Valentin there’s still a way they can both win. Tell her where the Chimera is, and they’ll both be free and be equals. They’ll be two people who understand each other. Valentin tells her that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, but he says that’s not true. It’s really drinking the same poison over and over, and thinking you can handle it. He’s been addicted to her, but he’s cured now. She says just like that, and he says it’s like a fever broke, and he knows what he has to do. He grabs a scarf and begins to wrap the ends around his hands, saying she’s pushed him too far. He comes toward her.

Michael remembers his last conversation with Nelle, and telling her she had no reason to stay. Griff is concerned with potential kidney trauma.

Jake forgot his magic box. Elizabeth says they’ll be back after tucking Aiden in. When they’re gone, Jake opens the box.  He takes out the Chimera. He says he wishes he was a real magician, because he’d make it disappear and would never have to think about it again.

Caroline tells Anna that she’s Alex Merrick. Anna says she doesn’t know how she got here, but the doctor is in on it. Caroline says this is her clinic, and that the doctor will explain everything. Anna stops her, and says she’s not sick. She’s being held against her will and Caroline has to help her. Dr. Lancaster overhears and makes a mean soap opera face.

Nina looks at her ring. She remembers Valentin giving it to her. Valentin walks in, and says he has so much to tell her. She asks if he was with Anna. He says he was, and thanks her for forcing him to admit what he knew all along – Anna was playing him. He says she won’t be coming between them again – ever.

Tomorrow, Valentin says he’ll get Nina to trust him again, Lulu says life is full of unexpected surprises, Martina tells Sonny that he has the most to lose, and Dr. Lancaster asks what’s going on.

If Loving You is Wrong

The officer, whose name no one ever says, tells Kelly he has a warrant for her DNA. She says she had nothing to do with Ramses’ murder, but he says since she’s been in the house, they need to exclude her. Kelly starts to argue, and he says they have to eliminate everyone who was there. Kelly says she’s not doing anything without a lawyer; she doesn’t trust him. He asks if her temper gets her in trouble. He tells Kelly that she can call her lawyer, but he has an actual warrant, and asks what it’s going to be. She says fine, take it. She sees Travis and is like, wth?

Commercial break with vital information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on June 20.

Travis says that he got a call from his parents that he was wanted at the station. Kelly starts making a fuss, so Rick takes her to get the test done. The officer tells Travis that he didn’t listen to Rick when he told Travis to stay away from Kelly, so stay away. Travis insists she wanted him to pick up Justice, and asks if he has to call every time Kelly wants a favor. The officer doesn’t understand why he would help her if she’s so crazy. Travis says he’s a child of God and she asked for help, and the officer says even God wants him to use common sense. Travis says he has the evidence. The officer says he has a restraining order against her too, so stay away from both Kelly and Justice, and block her number. Travis asks if he can go, and the officer tells him have a nice day, but won’t shake his hand. Officer No-Name and I didn’t start off on the right foot, but he’s growing on me. I have the feeling he’s thinking more than he’s saying.

Kelly asks the officer if he’s just going to let Travis leave. He says he told Travis to stay away from her and block her number. She asks what happened to serving and protecting. He says he’s seen this kind of situation go bad. She says she hasn’t done anything. He says, sorry. She walks out, and he calls after her, saying that she should really let this go.

Esperanza is watching the kids in the park. She calls Kelly, and asks what happened. Kelly says she doesn’t want to know. Esperanza tells her that she has Justice. Kelly asks why Alex is always leaving people’s children, and Esperanza says they both called and texted her five times. Kelly tells her about how Travis was let go. Esperanza says ever since the captain’s been gone, nothing has been done right, so she’s going to check into it. Kelly says the officer gave him a warning, but Travis isn’t going to listen. She says she’s never had a man like this before. Esperanza says she has, and Kelly is doing all the right things. She asks about the restraining order, and Kelly says she has to get a new lawyer. She tells Esperanza about them wanting DNA because she was in Ramses’ house. Esperanza says she had to do it once, and it’s normal procedure. Esperanza offers to drop off Justice, and Kelly says she’ll watch Alex’s kids until she gets home. I have to add that Esperanza is not dressed like anyone dresses to play with kids in the park. She’s wearing a tight sweater that couldn’t be cut any lower, and velvet pants. And boots. I didn’t notice what kind of heels they had. I was too busy staring at her cleavage. Geez.

Natalie’s phone rings. It’s a collect call from Joey in prison. He says he’s sorry, and asks how she is. She asks if they’re taking care of him, and he says he’s fine. He tells her that it’s his fault; he shouldn’t have carried the gun. She says he shouldn’t have, but she’s glad he did. If he hadn’t had the gun, he’d be dead. She tells him she loves him, and he says he loves her too. She tells him everything is going to be okay, and she’s getting him out of there. He says that would be great, but he just wants her to be happy. The recording tells them one more minute. Natalie says he makes her happy, and Joey thanks her for saying that. She says he was doing good. He could have gone back out on the streets, but didn’t; she’s proud of him. They have thirty seconds, and say another I love you. Natalie says she’ll see him soon, and he says he’ll be waiting. She hangs up, and starts to cry.

Lushion comes in, and Natalie says she’s all right. He says no she’s not, but it’s okay. He tells her to take a break, but she says she has too much to do. He says to let it go and let her heart break. She cries on his shoulder. He says he’s got her, and rocks her like a baby. Lushion is the best.

There’s a knock at Randal’s door. It’s Julius. Randal and I make the same astonished face, and Randal says it’s a surprise. Julius asks to come in. He says that Randal has done something different with the house, but Randal says he just had the carpets cleaned. There are no carpets, so I don’t know what to think about that. Do you send carpets out to be cleaned? Julius tells Randal that his father cut him out of the will, and it’s because Randal gave the attorney an evaluation of him. He reads from it. It says, among other things, that he’s a narcissist, and for his own good, shouldn’t be in control of anything without a trustee. Randal says he’s sorry. He and Julius Sr. had a history; he’d testified in a lot of his court cases. Julius says his father is gone now, but he’s going to give Randal an opportunity to right this wrong. He wants him to rewrite the evaluation. Randal says sure. Julius says make sure he gets it to the attorney, who’s his attorney now.

Julius says he heard some racist wanted to hang Randal. Randal says it’s true. Julius says if the evaluation had gone to the court, he would have wished they’d succeeded. He changes his mind, saying that he’ll pick up the evaluation himself. Randal says he’ll have it by tomorrow, and the next one will be so much better. He tells Julius that his attorney will have to sign and notarize it. Julius says when his attorney’s hand is better, he will, explaining that he was stabbed with a letter opener. He asks Randal if they’re friends, and Randal says sure. Julius hugs him. He tells Randal, burn him again, he’ll be the one who hangs Randal. Randal isn’t having the best week, but that’s okay with me.

Eddie bursts into Brad’s office. Brad asks Eddie to leave him alone. Eddie gets loud about Lushion banging Brad’s wife. He tells him on top of it, Lushion is undercover FBI. Brad tells him the drugs are making him paranoid. Eddie says he’s working on proof. Brad says he has a client coming, and Eddie has to leave. Alex walks in, and Eddie wastes no time in calling her a slut. Brad says Eddie is leaving, but Eddie says he’s not letting her work her snake charm on him, because he doesn’t understand what a snake charmer does. Brad pushes him out the door and I laugh. Eddie is a borderline comic character to begin with, since he’s so ridiculous.

Brad tells Alex, sorry, and asks what’s up. She says she doesn’t know; she doesn’t even know why she’s there. She just wanted to see him. She says she’s sorry. She knows she’s said it a million times, and Brad says they both have. She says he didn’t do anything, and he says he called her parents. She says she did that too. He asks what now, and she says she wants to thank him for saving her son. He tells her she’s welcome. She knows the kind-hearted man she fell in love with is still in there, and wants to thank him.

Idiot Eddie comes back in with Marcie. Brad pushes him back out the door again, and I laugh again. Brad asks what Marcie is doing there. She says she came to take him to dinner, and calls him her handsome lover. Brad says he told her to stop doing this. Alex says bye, and Marcie taunts her as she leaves. Brad asks why she’s doing this, and she says, sorry. Brad tells her that he can’t go to dinner, and Marcie asks what Alex wanted. Brad says she thanked him for saving her child. I wonder why Marcie acts like she’s high half the time. He tells her he has to get back to work, and she leaves. Someone get Brad some Tylenol.

Pete calls Lushion and asks if it’s true that Andrew is missing. Lushion says it is, and Pete asks if it was Eddie. Lushion thinks it was, and Pete says he has to be stopped. Lushion is thinking it needs to go to the FBI, but thinks they’re already on to it. He asks Pete why he thinks the FBI guy is outside his door. Pete asks about the tape, and Lushion says they couldn’t find it. He tells Pete that the most important thing is stopping Eddie. Lushion says the FBI is already outside his door, but if he wants to, go for it. Pete says they have to find Andrew, and Lushion says they’re trying. Pete thinks Ben might know. He was outside trying to distract the officer when Eddie tried to put a needle in Pete’s IV. Lushion says to make sure he tells them that too. Pete thinks Andrew might be dead, since Eddie is a stone-cold killer. Lushion tells him to tell the officer everything, and says he’ll drop by later.

Randal goes to Marcie and Brad’s apartment, with the excuse that he brought her mail. He talks about what a dump it is and she says it’s better than a shed for sex. She tells him to get out, but he won’t leave. He asks what’s in the other room. She says the bed where they have sex every night, now go. He says he’s not done yet, and she says fine, he can watch how she greets Brad. Randal says if she has to say how great he is, he must be terrible. Marcie says she used to say the same about him, and pretends to fake it. She says it’s called acting, and asks why he’s there. He thought she might want to know the child might not be his after all. She doesn’t care. He says it might be Lushion’s and she tells him to get out with all of it. She says he’s trying to get her to make trouble for Natalie, but he says he already told her, and he’s surprised they didn’t break up. Marcie says they’re solid, and he says maybe Natalie isn’t as “ghetto-dumb” as he thought. Randal says it smells like broke in the apartment, and Marcie says in a minute it will smell like glorious sex. She says next time he wants to spread a lie, find someone stupid. He tells her he misses her and that she must miss it. She tells him to get out. He finally leaves.

Kelly has a flat tire. She changes her shoes, saying if it’s not one thing, it’s another. She opens the trunk and Travis pops out, scaring us both. He throws her down, and puts his hand over her mouth. He asks why she went to the cops, and threatens to kill her. She struggles and tries to scream, and he puts one hand over her mouth and the other on her throat.

Next time, Lushion can’t get anything out of Alex about Andrew, Brad talks to Alex, and Lushion tells Eddie to get out of his face. There’s one more episode before the finale.

Below Deck Mediterranean

We flash back to the crew’s night out and Bobby going apesh*t on Hannah for basically no reason. She asks what she’s done to him, and he says she threw him under the bus. Malia says they weren’t talking about him, but he doesn’t believe it. Hannah keeps asking what she said, and he finally closes the door in her face. She calls him a steroid injected d*ckhead, and says she’ll be remembering the conversation for a long time.

In the morning, Hannah and Malia whisper about what happened. Hannah says sometimes Bobby’s ego gets overly inflated, and Malia is like, sorry. Meanwhile, Bobby is talking smack about Hannah to the deckhands. Hannah tells Lauren that Bobby went psycho. Lauren says she doesn’t remember Hannah ever saying anything bad about him. In her interview, Lauren tells us that she was supposed to go on a date with Bobby, and he brought a couple of other girls along. They ran into Hannah, who couldn’t believe it, and told Lauren it was disrespectful. That never happened to me, but I’m pretty sure if it had, I would not have gone on the date.

The primary guest is a dude named Jim aka Mr. Skin, who has a website devoted to nakey celebs. His wife Michele and some key employees will also be in attendance. Hannah remembers the Tilted Kilt cruise, and how it didn’t end well with one of the crew members. As usual, there are a million dietary restrictions, which are different for everyone, and the guests also want to film a naked news segment.

Bobby tells Lauren that he wants to talk to Hannah, but Lauren doesn’t want to get involved. He says it’s happening, and she tells him to work it out with Hannah himself. He says he’s pulling her in and she’d better have his back. Bobby put the d in d-bag.

Chef Adam goes shopping at the outdoor market. Supplies are brought on board. In her interview, Hannah says there’s no coming back from the altercation with Bobby.  Wes almost puts regular cardboard in the microwave.

Bobby apologizes for insulting Hannah, BUT (Dr. Phil would say that negates the apology) says all he could think about is her trashing him to Lauren. Hannah says all she told Lauren was that it was unfair of him to bring other women on their date. A-hole Bobby calls Lauren to come to the deck. He’s annoyed that Hannah called him aggressive. Maybe he doesn’t know what that word means, because his picture is the definition. Lauren joins them, saying to call her the liar. She says they were drinking, and she doesn’t even remember what was said. She asks why he’s so upset, and he says the two of them are playing games. Lauren asks to go back to her work, and Bobby asks why she doesn’t go screw Ben. Ben gets my vote, but where did that come from, especially since he’s not on this charter?

In his interview, Bobby talks about taking Lauren somewhere, and her leaving with Ben. That actually sounds like poetic justice, considering that he brought extras to their date. Hannah says this has nothing to do with her, but Bobby insists they’re conspiring against him. Lauren calls Ben. She tells him she’s getting along great with Hannah. In her interview, she says that she and Ben hit it off, and he’s more her type than Bobby. She tells Ben about Bobby being a jerk, and telling her to go off with him. She tells Ben she misses him, and he says ditto.

Bobby calls his mommy. He tells her he’s been blindsided and duped. He says he got screwed over by Lauren. His mother’s heart is broken. In his interview, he tells us that he took this job to meet women. How’s that workin’ for ya? He starts bawling about some woman named Alex. He claims her mother thought he didn’t make enough money. His mom heaps him with praise, and makes raise-the-roof hand gestures.

Hannah has a stew meeting. She explains what Mr. Skin does, how tacky it is, and tells them there’s going to be a naked news filming.

Captain Sandy wants to make sure the deckhands can drop anchor successfully, and has them practice. In his interview, Bobby says that the captain doesn’t get on you when you make a mistake, but you feel it, and it’s worse. I translate that to mean it’s tough for Bobby to actually work and do things right.

Malia chats with Wes while they hose off the deck. Bugs gets a call from her mother. Her grandmother has passed away. Hannah says whatever she needs, she has. The captain talks about losing her mother when she was on a boat, and tells Bugs she’s there for her. In her interview, Bugs tells us how close they were, and how she wants to pull herself together, because it’s what her grandmother would want.

Everyone gets ready to greet the guests. After they arrive, Hannah does the tour. Lauren wants to stay as busy as possible to keep her mind off of idiot Bobby. Captain Sandy instructs the deckhands, while Mr. Skin instructs his employees about the photos he wants. Adam chops fruit. Hannah gives him a list of guest demands. All gluten free. The guests begin to film, and the captain is concerned about a family-centric boat coming past.

Lauren says it’s awkward with Bobby, who’s going out of his way to ignore her. Bugs is asked for help with a shot at the hot tub, and says there are unmentionable parts staring her right in the eyeballs. Wes is hoping not to mess up the anchor with all the naked ladies around.

The lunch table isn’t naked, and is beautifully adorned with a beach theme. Lunch is served. One of the guests is mistakenly served octopus when she opted out of that, but chooses not to get a replacement dish. She says that Adam’s cooking is so good, she might become a convert. Mr. Skin mentions a breast reduction, and one of the women doesn’t understand why anyone would do that. Bobby says you can’t not look.

Bobby wants Malia to know the fun Bobby instead of the pissed off Bobby. That should last all of five minutes. Max is impressed with how well Bugs is holding up. It’s dinnertime. In his interview, Adam says he’s never eaten raw, as one guest has requested, but if something makes him uncomfortable, bring it on. Lauren thinks Bobby has built up resentment from before. Another gorgeous table and meal is presented.

Lauren asks to talk to Bobby. She hates confrontation, and wonders if he wants a hug or milkshake. In her interview, Bugs says losing her grandma is one of many challenges, and she’s proud of how she held up. Lauren tells Bobby that she’s sorry she hurt him, however she hurt him. He says he jumped to conclusions about Hannah talking smack about him. Lauren says so did she, confusing Bobby. That’s probably not hard, but it does sound like she’s waffling. She tells him that he needs to own up to things. He’s 31 and a grown-ass man. He got drunk, and attacked both her and Hannah. They end up with no resolution and time wasted. No surprise. I don’t like the way Lauren is playing both sides – no doubt to avoid a conflict, but just making it worse – but Bobby is one of those people who will never admit he’s wrong.

Captain Sandy wants a rock to tie on; it helps to create a private sanctuary among the cliffs for the guests. Bobby complains to Wes in the crew mess. Lauren suggests they take it to their room instead of making it awkward. In the galley, Lauren asks if she can talk to Hannah. Hannah jokes around, asking Adam what he did to her. They go out on the deck, and Lauren tells Hannah about Bobby talking smack to the deckhands about her, making her uncomfortable. In her interview, Hannah says she has no time for tears and tantrums, but she’s concerned with Lauren’s well-being at work. She tells her not to let it affect her mentally.

Another glorious meal happens. Max and Wes go out to put a chain on the rocks they’ll anchor to. The guests are impressed with the location, which is beyond beautiful, with a private grotto. Bobby is stressed because he knows the captain is watching. She tells them excellent job. More food! A sink starts to overflow. Adam, Hannah, and Malia all help Lauren, who is desperately bailing water out of it. Hannah says it’s their job to make sure the guests don’t know what’s happening. The water finally starts to recede.

Some guests take photos and others play in the water. The wind picks up, and the boat is getting too close to the cliffs. Captain Sandy wants Max to push the boat with the tinder, but he seems to be ignoring her.

Next time, Lauren thinks it’s unfair, Adam gets stressed and snippy, and there are issues with the anchor chain.

🍸 I checked out What Happens at The Abbey. It looks like a trash heap. The Abbey is a celebrity bar in Hollywood that’s gone through several incarnations. One bartender tells us if you have a dream, it’s the place to make it come true, but I find that hard to believe. Another says it’s the only place where a lesbian and a straight woman will fight over who’s going to have a gay man’s baby. I’ll take their word for it. Some guy named Daniel tells us he started the man bun, and I hate him already. After the first couple of minutes, I wonder if I can even watch this, and then Brandi Glanville walks in, and I’m pretty sure I can’t. She’s just as creepy as ever. As a matter-of-fact, most of these people seem creepy. And needless to say, extremely into themselves. There was an upside when Tori Spelling arrived. I’ve loved her ever since I saw her in Trick. If you’ve never seen that movie, I highly recommend it, especially if you like musicals. The plot revolves around a gay guy who’s writing a musical, and Tori is his best friend. She also has the Best. Monologue. Ever. Said guy, played by Christian Campbell, is also trying to get his date alone, but everything possible happens to thwart them. It’s very sweet and clever, and his song that keeps cropping up, Enter You, will be your ear worm forever. The fact that I got so off track just goes to show how bad The Abbey is, and how I want to get it out of my mind as quickly as possible.

🚛 I also watched one of my favorites, Hoarders. I also love Hoarding: Buried Alive, but, same thing. They were airing quite a few of them, and the last episode I caught showed two fails, which is unusual. One was a woman who was of the mindset that when the world was in its last days, people would come to her for stuff. Because we’ll all need moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She just wouldn’t accept that she had a mental disorder or accept the help, although for a while, they moved things from pile to pile. At the end, Corey talked about her victim mentality, and that she’ll have the perverse satisfaction of thinking that she’s been screwed over again. The other hoarder was also a woman, and they were able to clear out her place, but she wasn’t happy because of what she had to give up. More moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She had a really cute home when it was over too. I thought it was brave of the program to air unsuccessful efforts.

Why should they have to lose any more than they’d lost?Hoarding: Buried Alive

May 14, 2017 – Once Upon a Grand Finale, Atlanta’s Secrets Revealed & Happy Mother’s Day!


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



Once Upon a Time – Two-hour Finale

A guy runs through the forest. He’s being chased by something large. He goes into a cabin, and tells a little girl that she has to run and make sure it stays safe. He says she may be the realm’s only hope to escape the darkness. He tells her that she has to get to safety and share the stories; he’ll stay and fight. She says no one will believe her, but he says someday they will. She leaves, and he draws his sword. Something huge bursts through the door.

In Storybrooke, the Black Fairy’s curse has arrived. Hook wonders where it’s taking them, and Emma says wherever it is, they’ll win.

Henry sits on a roof – alone. He goes down to the street. He sees Archie with Pongo. He asks what the Black Fairy’s curse did, and Archie says he thought they were past all this, and asks if he needs to make an appointment. Henry asks where his mom is, and Archie says the same place she’s been for the last two years.

Emma paints in a class. A nurse comes in and says her son is there for a visit. Yeah, thought so. She’s in a psyche ward. They hug. He says he couldn’t find the rest of their family. She tells him that she’s fought for her progress, and she’s not going down that road again. She says none of them are real, there’s no curse, and it’s just a regular town. Henry tells her that this is how the Black Fairy cursed her, but she says she just wants to get well. She says he tried to prove the stories were real by eating a poisoned apple turnover, and ended up in the hospital, but Henry says that’s not the way it went. The nurse brings Emma’s medication, but Henry doesn’t want her to take it. He shows her the book. She says his mother is going to make him stop visiting if he doesn’t knock it off.

The Black Fairy (Fiona in this realm) approaches. She takes the book, saying that nothing but trouble comes from it. She tells Henry to get to school. He hugs Emma, and whispers in her ear, saying whatever Fiona wants her to do, don’t. He leaves, and Fiona tells Emma to take her medicine. She does.

Everybody else is waking up on a palace floor, dressed in their back-in-the-day outfits. Hook calls for Emma, but Regina says she’s gone. David says it’s their palace. Snow adds that it’s where they got married right before they were cursed. She says curses have never stopped them before.

Archie and Fiona meet with Emma. Fiona says as mayor, she’s concerned about her residents, but Emma says she’s fine. Fiona says Archie’s reports are encouraging, and there may be a release soon. She suggests Emma go back to Boston. She says that she’s not just concerned about Emma’s well-bring, but Henry’s. Emma might be Henry’s biological mother, but now Fiona has a 14-year-old who still believes in fairytales. I guess she’s the Regina of this realm. She says the book has given her an idea. She wants Emma to burn it to show Henry that she doesn’t believe it. Emma says, sorry. She knows the stories are fake, but she doesn’t want to crush Henry. She says she’s not ready, but Fiona says the day will come. Until she’s ready to destroy the book and fantasy world, she’ll stay locked up.

The others watch in a mirror. Regina says the final battle isn’t what they thought it was. Snow says it’s a battle for Emma’s soul and hope. Zelena breezes in with some Munchkins. She escaped Oz with a magic hat. A Munchkin puts it on the ground and beams of light shoot out of it. Zelena pulls back a curtain, but there’s nothing behind it except darkness. Regina says that’s why the Black Fairy wants Emma to destroy the book. As her hope fades, the realms will be erased. Everything starts to shake, and Regina says the realms will be destroyed, along with everything in them.

Fiona visits Gold’s shop. She’s checking to see that everything is as it should be. Gold and Gideon are there. She tells them that she’s brought lunch and a job – her watch has stopped. Gideon takes the lunch in the back, and Gold thanks her. She feels badly for Gideon, and says she’s always concerned when someone has lost their mother. She talks about how sad it is, and says she’ll be back for the watch; she knows she can count on him. She tells him she’s always there to help.

More characters gather at the palace. Aladdin and Jasmine are there. David says the more Emma loses faith, the more realms disappear. Hook thinks he has a theory of where to look for Emma. Regina says what they need is magic; it’s time for her to go to work. Everyone disappears, poof! in some swirls of purple smoke. They appear at Regina’s palace, and she says that she’s getting Henry and Emma back, no matter what it takes.

In her room, Emma does pull-ups with a box spring, a la Sarah Connor in The Terminator. Henry walks in to help her escape. He’s drawn up a plan.

Hook sees a beanstalk in the woods. David shows up, and Hook wonders how David found him. David tells him next time he sneaks off, make sure no Munchkins are around. Apparently, they’re easily bribed. Hook wants to climb the beanstalk and get back to his wife. He says during their first adventure, his motives were less than chivalrous, but they’ve both changed. They fought for their love and won. He has to climb the beanstalk and find the bean. He’s not losing everything because of a bitter fairy. David gets that he’s scared, but tells him to take a deep breath. They’ll climb together.

Henry takes Emma to a roof. He says it’s the last place she saw her family and remembered that she’s the Savior. She says that isn’t real, and he’s not going to convince her that her mother is Snow White. He says she married Captain Hook right here, and she asks if Tinkerbelle officiated. He says no, Jiminy Cricket did. He tries to get her to remember, and she flashes back to kissing Hook at the ceremony. She says she’s been in a mental hospital for years and can’t trust her brain. He says she has to fight. She tells Henry that she doesn’t want to, she just wants to go home to Boston. He says she can’t leave, but she says it’s not forever. He says fine, but it will be safer if she leaves after dark; he knows where Archie keeps the car keys. He says she’s his mom, and he’ll always want to help her; she doesn’t deserve to be locked up. He tells her he’ll be back in an hour, and promises she’ll have the life she always wanted.

Gold looks for something. He pulls out the book that Belle gave to Gideon, Her Handsome Hero. He tells Gideon that he knows it’s not easy to talk about Belle, but she wanted him to have the book. Gideon says that Fiona has been more of a mother to him. Gold asks how much he remembers. Gideon says only what he already told him; she was going to the store, and never came back. Gold says maybe they don’t know the whole story. His mother wouldn’t leave without good reason. Gideon tells him not to rationalize; she didn’t love them, but they don’t need her to have a happy life. He says Gold refuses to see it. Gold says no matter what happened between them, Belle would always want to be part of his life.

Regina stirs a cauldron, while Zelena looks for the ingredients, but they seem to be out of everything. The Evil Queen storms in, and is shocked to find that Regina is back. Regina says, so she’s the one who’s been squatting in her castle. The Evil Queen says she lives there. Everyone there thought she murdered Snow and Charming. After three days of angry villagers, she decided to move into the palace. She says she and Robin turned over a new leaf. Now they steal from rich and give to poor – mostly anyway. Regina says they’re having a bit of a fairy problem.

Fiona finds out that Emma is gone from the hospital.

Henry sneaks around Archie’s office. He finds his story book. Fiona walks in. She tells him that there’s no reason to pretend; they both know she’s not his mother. She says she knows everything. Henry asks what she’s going to do, put him in the crazy house too? She says he’s more useful here. There’s still a speck of belief in Emma that refuses to die off. He says there’s nothing she can do to stop it, and Fiona says there’s something he can do. She zaps him down the stairs, and he lies at the bottom, unconscious.

While watching the ambulance take Henry away, Fiona tells Gold that Henry broke into Archie’s office and tumbled down the stairs. Gold thinks he’s resilient and will be fine. He wants her to reopen the investigation into Belle’s disappearance. She asks why tear open old wounds, and he says they never healed. Gideon needs to know the truth; Belle wouldn’t abandon him for no reason.

Hook and David enter the giant’s castle. The see a humongous dinner table laden with humongous food. Hook says he’s a pirate and has swung from plenty of masts, so he’ll go up. He shimmies up a table leg and wanders among huge sausages and enormous grapes. He sees the bean pod in a display case. He tells David he thinks he found something. He uses a massive knife to smash the glass. He snatches the pod and gets the bean, which is normal-sized, but looks like it’s made of crystal. Everything starts to shake, and Hook says the giant has been woken. A dragon suddenly appears, and starts breathing fire everywhere.

Gold and Fiona sit in her car. Fiona tells Gold she hasn’t been completely honest. She wanted to save them the heartbreak. She shows him pictures of Belle in various vacation spots like she’s that garden gnome. Gold says she wanted to see the world. Fiona says just not with him. She says he’s the one who caused Gideon pain; he couldn’t be the man Belle wanted him to be. She says he can still be the man Gideon needs, and move on. He says it was illuminating, thanks her, and gets out of the car. She looks at the book and finds Henry’s notes, written in runes. She wonders what Henry knows.

Emma visits Henry in the hospital. Fiona says he was trying to steal the book and escape, when he fell down the stairs. Emma says he lied, and he says Fiona is lying – she pushed him. Fiona shows Emma the security footage, asking how she could push him without touching him, but Henry says she used magic. He tells Emma to just touch the book. She takes it, but nothing happens. She says he’s not a kid anymore. It’s not a daring rescue operation. Fiona says what if next time, he breaks his neck instead of his arm? He’s hurting himself to make Emma believe his delusions. Emma says this has to stop. Fiona says she knows what to do. Henry tells Emma to just believe in him. She says believing doesn’t make it true, and he says that’s exactly what it does. He tells her not to go, and that it’s the final battle, but she leaves with Fiona.

David and Hook climb down the beanstalk, but everything starts to shake.

Fiona takes Emma to God knows where, and opens a furnace.

David tells Hook that he thinks they need a bigger boat have a bigger problem than the dragon.

Emma moves toward the furnace. Fiona says go on; only she can save their son. She puts the book in the flames.

The beanstalk sways wildly. The book burns. Emma sees Hook’s picture. The others gather on the palace balcony, while crazy clouds fill the sky. Regina thinks they may be too late. Emma stares at Hook’s picture as it’s consumed by flames.

⚔ Part Two ⚔

The little girl from the beginning walks through the forest with the book. She finds her father’s sword. Tiger Lily appears, and tells her not to cry. She asks where her father is. Tiger Lily doesn’t know, but knows he fought valiantly. She says the book is safe, and they have to bring it to the girl’s mother. Tiger Lily tells her that the future is cloudy, but she and her father will be reunited. She needs to learn the lesson imparted by the book.

Fiona brings Henry the burned book on a food tray like it’s the dead rat in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? She says whatever hope Emma clung to has been destroyed, along with the book. Henry doesn’t believe it completely. He says they won’t let her win. She says that his family won’t exist long enough to save themselves, let alone his mother.

David and Hook cling to the beanstalk. Hook falls. David is next. Snow says something is wrong. Regina asks where, but she doesn’t know. Jasmine says, let’s find them, and calls the magic carpet. They find Hook in the mess of the beanstalk. He says they managed to get it, and shows them the bean. David is nowhere. and Snow says she’ll find him. She tells Hook to get to Emma, and make her believe again.

Emma is ready to leave. Henry asks if this is what she wants. She says this is why she has to go; he believes this nonsense. She says it’s clear now. Coming to Storybrooke wasn’t good for either of them. It sent them on a dangerous path. Henry says the Black Fairy did it; Emma really doesn’t believe. She says there’s nothing to believe, and tells him good-by. She goes off in her VW bug.

Emma arrives back at her old place in Boston. A notebook tumbles out of her tote bag. There’s a note on it from Henry saying that he knows she doesn’t think the story is true, but they can still have a happy ending. Emma gets a call to come back to work. She looks through the book. It’s a new story about how true love broke the curse.

Regina looks at the bean, and it’s turned black. Emma’s lack of belief is sapping the magic from everything. Regina says she doesn’t have enough power to fix it, but Zelena says between her, Regina and the Evil Queen, they can do it.

Snow looks for David in the forest. She finds him under some beanstalk fronds. He seems to be dead, and she cries, saying please no. She kisses him. He opens his eyes. Flashback to the reverse, when he woke her with a kiss. He says she found him, and she asks if he doubted it. He says the beanstalk that fell on him gave him pause. She tells him that darkness never wins; it just pulls you into believing it does. They say I love yous, and David says, let’s go.

Henry goes to Gold’s shop. He starts to go into the back, and Gold says it’s closed to customers. Henry says he’s not a customer, he’s Gold’s grandson. He goes in the back where there’s a potion brewing. Henry says Gold is awake; he knows magic when he sees it. He asks why Gold has been pretending. Gold says he doesn’t trust his mother. He wasn’t supposed to end up like this without Belle; she betrayed him again. He wants to find out her true intentions. He doesn’t believe Belle ran off; the Black Fairy would have kept her for leverage. Henry says he has to help him save their family, then they can find Belle. Gold says that all he cares about is Belle. Henry says at least let him take something that can help.

Henry talks into a mirror, hoping the others can hear him. He says he tried to keep Emma from losing belief, but it wasn’t good enough. That doesn’t mean he’s going on without a fight. He pulls out a sword, and says if no one else can go up against the Black Fairy, he will.

Zelena says the magic is there. David wants everyone to get to safety. Regina sees the Evil Queen going toward a window, and asks what she’s doing. She says that she’s going to hold it off as long as she can. She tells Regina to take the others to the center of the castle, where they should be able to survive. Henry is her son too, and he needs one of them. She zaps purple lightning bolts at the oncoming clouds. Regina gathers everyone and tries to make a purple fire ball, but it’s weak.

Everything starts to crumble. Everyone looks at each other, and for a moment, I think Regina and Zelena are going to kiss. The clouds get bigger, darker, and closer.

Henry goes to the Storybrooke town hall. Emma joins him. She tells him that she found the book he left. She says she’s not sure she’s the Savior, but it’s who she wants to be. She doesn’t remember the crazy stuff he told her, but she believes it.

Everything stops. The group is left on a cliff, only the center of the palace room remaining. Regina asks what happened. Snow says Emma is back.

Her Handsome Hero plops down from the sky in front of a house. Gold goes inside. He calls for Belle. He finds her hiding next to the stove in the kitchen. She says she doesn’t want to leave, and runs into another room. She doesn’t know why he knows her name. He says the Black Fairy changed her, but he promises her that he’ll make the fairy pay.

Fiona comes into Gold’s shop. She tells Gideon that Emma Swan is back. He’s confused, and she says she needs her fairy wand. He wants to call his father, but she says that’s the last thing she needs, and Gideon hangs up the phone. He wonders why he did that when he didn’t want to, and Fiona says she still has his heart; he has to do what she says. She needs the wand to translate Henry’s runes, which hold the key to winning the final battle. Gideon finds the wand. Fiona says it’s been centuries since she felt its power.

She zaps the page of runes, and they decipher. She tells Gideon it’s time to get to work.

Emma wanders around with a sword.

Gold enters his shop. Fiona says she’s there to get her watch. He says, no she’s not, and calls her “mother.” She says she separated him from Belle for his own good. Belle would have convinced him to go against his own dark instincts. When the final battle is over, she can make them love him, even if he’s the Dark One; he can have it all. He says he can’t, and all she cares about is herself. She says she’s worked tirelessly to reunite them. They can be a family again, and not just Belle and Gideon. She’ll be able to bring back the dead – his first son. All his desires can be had. Gold says he must have it all, and they hug. He says there’s just one problem – all magic comes with a price. He flips her around, and holds a dagger to her throat. He says he’s not willing to pay, and she’s going to suffer because of Belle and Gideon. She says she learned that darkness can’t snuff out the light; only light can snuff out light. He says she has Gideon’s heart, and she commanded him to kill the Savior. Not even her death can stop it, and will probably ensure it. Gold says there’s one way to find out. He zaps her, and she turns to dust.

Gold drops the dagger. A wave comes over everything, like when you see heat rising from a highway. At the town hall in regular Storybrooke, Emma remembers everything. Gideon appears, and says just in time, Savior. Emma tells Henry to go.

Belle runs into Gold’s shop. She says the curse is broken, and he tells her that he killed the Black Fairy. She asks where Gideon is. He says still under her control, but Henry might know.

Gideon advances on Emma. Henry bops him in the head with a fire extinguisher. They run, but when Gideon tries to follow, he’s stopped by a spell. Emma says it won’t hold long. She and Henry jet.

Belle and Gold look for Gideon’s heart in a cave. Belle twists her ankle, and she tells him to go ahead.

Back out on the street, Henry says they lost Gideon, but he won’t be far behind. They’re both happy about the curse being broken. The others show up, and Emma tells Hook, some honeymoon.

Gold finds a chest with a heart in it.

Regina says it’s a trap. Either way light will be destroyed. She tells Emma to hold Gideon off until Gold gets his heart. There’s always a third way. She takes Emma aside. She says when she first came to Storybrooke, they hated each other, but she found a third way – they were both Henry’s mother. Today she saw her evil half be selfless. She saved them all, and Regina never saw it coming. She says Emma hasn’t seen it yet, but she will. Emma says it sounds like she’s talking about hope, and Regina says Emma didn’t give up on her. Emma asks what she should do, and Regina says she’ll know when the time comes.

Gideon grabs Snow and holds a knife to her throat. Emma says to let her go, and he does. She circles him. He looks at her like he smelled something bad.

Gold talks to the heart, telling Gideon not to kill Emma. Rumpel appears, and tells him that if Emma dies, he can have it all. They can get everything – love and power. He tells Gold to put the heart down, and let their boy finish his mission. Gold says he won’t betray his family. He’s going to do the right thing; he was destined to be a Savior. Rumpel says in this new world, they’ll change the rules. Gold says that’s not happening, and tells the heart not to kill Emma. The heart turns dark, and Rumpel asks if he thought it would be easy. He might want to do the right thing, but we don’t always get what we want. Mick Jagger sings in my head.

Gideon tells Emma that no one is going to save her. They duel with their swords. She says no one needs to save her; she’s the Savior. She does some nice kick moves. She tells Gideon that ultimately, she’s a hero and light. She won’t kill anything; she’ll give hope – no matter what the cost. She drops the sword. Hook is like, nooo! but the others hold him back. Gideon looks sick. He says he was hoping she’d save them both. He runs the sword through her. Streams and bubbles of light come spraying out of her and go all over.

Gold tells Belle that he failed her and their family. He made the right choice, but it didn’t work out. Belle hugs him.

Everyone runs to Emma, who is lying in the middle of the street. Henry kisses her forehead, saying he loves her. Rainbows pulsate everywhere. She opens her eyes, and says that she loves him too. Everybody rejoices, and there’s a group hug.

Belle and Gold hear a baby cry. That’s because a baby has suddenly appeared in the cave. They see he’s also brought reading material – Her Handsome Hero. It’s Gideon. Gold says, a fresh start and happy ending, but Belle changes that to happy beginning.

Snow picks up Henry’s book and gives it to him. He looks at the last page, and it says, faith was restored and the final battle was won. Emma says, there’s no the end, and Snow says it isn’t the end. Maybe it is of this book, but not the end end.  Emma says, what now? Snow tells her that living with the belief that there’s a happy ending is the most powerful thing about now. They get to keep going on, doing what they love, with the people they love; being together is happiness. We see the hands on the clock in the tower move.

Palace doors open, glittery snow is falling, fairies are flying, there’s a reindeer, a maze, and the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, smoking his hookah. The Evil Queen looks out from her balcony and smiles. A doormat says Welcome to the Charmings, and we pan out to Snow and David’s place, and how happy they are with their baby and dog. Emma and Regina see Henry off to school at the bus stop. Snow as Mary teaches a class with a bluebird on her finger. Emma and Hook tool around in her bug, and put a flashing red light on top so they can go fast.

The Dwarves have a surprise for Regina. They’ve put a new name on her office door at the town hall – it now says Regina Mills – Queen. In the office, she looks at an apple and smiles.

Meanwhile, in parallel enchanted world, an arrow flies through the Evil Queen’s window. It has a note and a ring attached. The note says, Ready for a new adventure?

Belle and Gold dance to the theme from Beauty and the Beast.

Everyone gathers at Granny’s, including Zelena. All of them are happy, making me wonder if the show is returning. There’s lots of laughter, and everybody sits down at a really long table. I’m thinking it’s odd that they’re all sitting on one side, but then the scene turns into a picture in a book.

The little girl is on the train reading Once Upon a Time, but it has a different cover from Henry’s book. We read: Seattle, years later. She walks down an apartment building hallway and knocks on a door. A man answers and she asks if he’s Henry Mills. She says her name is Lucy, and she’s his daughter. She says his family needs him.

🎠 Yes, the show is returning. When, they didn’t say.  This was one long episode, but it was nice how they wrapped everything up, and sort of went back to the beginning, while leaving it open for the next book. It was also very corny, but I’ve watched this show from the first episode, and I think this was the first time it made me tear up. Robert Carlyle did an especially fine job, turning Gold into the man both he and Belle wanted him to be. It was gratifying that all of the characters got a do-over. Well, except for the Black Fairy, but she got what was coming to her. Managing to be sweet and smart at the same time, I’m surprised this show caught on, but glad that it did.

🍑 In order to milk the Housewives cash cow, tonight we were presented with The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Secrets Revealed. This is a step up from when they used to call the unused scenes “Lost Footage,” like we believed they found it behind a desk somewhere. Often, they have clips that are better than the regular episodes, and it’s an enjoyable change to see them having fun, rather than pulling each other’s hair. This time we got to see one of the (few) good things about Phaedra Ayden, aka Mr. President, one of the cutest kids ever. Of course, I don’t have to deal with him when he’s hopped up on sugar or doesn’t want a nap. We also saw more interaction between Kenya and the kids at Phaedra’s camp. There was a beautiful scene with Kenya telling them about the mother who ignores her, and how they’re not invisible. She touched one kid in a big way, and it was moving to see her comfort the sobbing boy. I also had to laugh at Peter lurking in the shadows. Cynthia’s shadows. He even had the gall to show up when she was out on a girl’s night, wanting to discuss the divorce. She ended up thanking him, which is totally like Cynthia, but she’s probably glad he’s not trying to clean her out, like suckerfish Jason Hoppy did with Bethenny. Farewell until next time, ladies (and I use the term loosely). Apparently, both NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak are coming back to the cast. Like the buzzards coming back to Hinckley, so do the Wives return to their original nesting grounds.


Juliet&Puppies (2)

Juliet sez: Bein’ a mudder iz da bezt!

May 9, 2017 – A Scarecrow on the Island, Julius Wants to Know the Enemy & a Tribal Themed Dinner


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Nathan meets Nina at the bar. She says she’s made a decision about Maxie. Lulu interrupts, asking Nina for a favor. She wants to know where Valentin is.

He’s out jogging and runs into Anna, who is also out jogging. He says if he didn’t know better, he’d accuse her of following him.

In Greece, Jason is on the phone trying to wrangle a boat, and Franco walks by. Jason slams Franco up against the wall and asks what he’s doing there.

Bobbie asks Carly what’s wrong. Carly says her attorney wants her to come up with a diary of her marriage to Sonny. Bobbie asks if it’s all five marriages, or just the latest. Ha-ha! Just this one. Carly says the sooner it’s filed, the sooner Sonny will get a clue that everything that was his, is hers now. Bobbie thinks she should consider a more amicable settlement. Carly says no way, and that’s why she brought Martina in. She needed someone Sonny didn’t know or could intimidate.

Guess again. Martina sits with Sonny. He says she has a problem, but he has a solution.

Nina tells Lulu that she can consider a request, since she’s Charlotte’s stepmom. Lulu says she wanted to take Charlotte for an outing with Rocco, and would like her to stay overnight. Nina says she gets an hour a week, and Charlotte hasn’t expressed wanting more time. They nearly get in an argument. Nina says Lulu is challenging the court mandate, and it’s not right. She says Charlotte is like a doll to Lulu, and she’s not considering Charlotte’s feelings. Lulu tells her to back off; she’s not really related to Charlotte. She says Valentin will betray Nina, just like he has everyone else.

Valentin says Anna’s ankle seems better, and wonders if her injury wasn’t contrived. Anna says she didn’t run into him by accident; they need to talk. Valentin asks why.

Jason tells Franco that only Sam knew he was in Greece. Franco says until she told him and Elizabeth. Jason asks if Franco is trying to play hero, but Franco says his sole motivation is to help Jake. He says step one, Jason will need a boat, and he has one – one with a cooler. Jason says he’ll pay him, but Franco says they’ll have to work together, and they should leave now.

Carly tells Bobbie that fighting Sonny is the best choice, and Bobbie says yeah, for the lawyer. I’ve got to agree with her there. Carly says that Sonny signed over his assets to her, and she’s going to keep them. She says it’s not about money. Sonny forced Jax to leave the country, and he can’t come back. Bobbie says he’s a billionaire; he’ll figure something out. She says Carly has to look at the reality. Sonny is a mobster with a bad temper and jealous streak. Is she really surprised? Carly says that’s why she brought in Martina, to make sure he pays dearly.

Martina tells Sonny that if anything, they’re at a stalemate. Sonny says he didn’t ask her there to blackmail her; someone saw them at The Haunted Star. Sonny says she’s already met her, and tells Martina about Ava. If Ava thinks she can hurt Sonny or Carly, she won’t hesitate. Then they both lose. He says that’s why he needs her help.

Nina asks how Nathan can be friends with Lulu, and he says she’s not always like that. Nah, just every time she doesn’t get what she wants immediately. Nina says it’s Lulu’s first move to get Charlotte away from her and Valentin, and it’s never going to happen.

Lulu sits down with Doc and Laura. She wishes she hadn’t lost her cool. Doc asks what happened. Lulu says it doesn’t matter.

Nina tells Nathan that Valentin offered Lulu joint custody, but she didn’t want it. She says she knows Valentin has flaws, but he loves his daughter and she loves him, and it’s real. She’ll be damned if Lulu is going to break up their family.

Anna asks Valentin if he prefers they call it closure and never see one another again. He asks why she’s there, and she says they have to talk about the Chimera Project.

Jason asks why Franco is doing this. He tells Jason that he loves Elizabeth and cares about Jake. He suggests that they talk about what they agree on. They want to get to the bottom of things for Jake’s sake, and the answers are on the island. Jason asks if the boat really has a cooler, and tells Franco let’s go.

Carly tells Bobbie she’s not taking back anything she said, but when she was writing in the journal, taking inventory of her marriage, she remembered what it was like when she and Sonny loved each other.

Sonny tells Martina that the best case is, Carly doesn’t believe Ava, but Carly’s cousin owns The Haunted Star, and all she has to do is ask for footage. Martina says Carly will just fire her and get another attorney, but Sonny says he’d rather fight with the devil he knows. She says, the one he can leverage? He tells her that once it’s over, they won’t have Ava hanging over their heads. Martina says it could come back to haunt him later, but Sonny says it will be fine. Martina wonders why she feels like there’s a catch, and Sonny says that’s because there is.

Carly tells Bobbie about Morgan’s prescription bottle being found after the robbery, and how Sonny had it tested. She says everything was fine, but when Sonny was telling her about it, they were two parents mourning their kid instead of fighting. Bobbie asks if they’d still be together if Morgan hadn’t died. Carly asks if it matters. Morgan died, and they reacted the way they did, and made the choices that they did. She says Sonny said the marriage was over, then she slept with Jax, and Sonny had him deported. She can’t go through life wishing Sonny was the way she wants him to be.

Sonny tells Martina that Carly is holding on to his assets to punish him, and Martina has to talk her out of it. He’s sure she’ll find the best solution for everyone, and she says he wants the best solution for himself. He tells her she has a lot of work to do, and makes a dimply smile as she leaves.

Valentin tells Anna that the Chimera Project was decades ago. He asks if she forgot about it or just him. Anna apologizes again for using him. She says it was easier not remembering, because now she has to live with it. She understands that her present struggle doesn’t compare to what she did to him. She says there were other potential buyers, and wants to know who Valentin turned it over to. He says he doesn’t want to discuss it.

Jason and Franco arrive at what Jason thinks is the place. The scarecrow is there. Franco asks him to look at something.

Lulu tells Laura and Doc that she and Charlotte are getting along so well, she thinks she can win this on the up and up. Laura thinks there should be a back-up plan. Lulu says it would be good to have dirt on Valentin just in case. She wants to bring him and his lying wife down, but she has to play nice for a while. Laura tells her keep in mind that Charlotte loves Valentin, and although she hates to admit it, Charlotte loves Nina too. Lulu says she’s winning Charlotte over.

Nina tells Nathan that she’s used to people hating Valentin, but wants to get off the subject. She says, being objective, Maxie did a lot for her. They disagree about Lulu and Charlotte, but they both love Nathan. It’s not doing their marriage any good with her in Portland, so Nina has decided to give Maxie the job back. She’s emailed her with an offer, and suggested they start fresh. She wants Nathan and Maxie to be as happy as she is with Valentin.

Anna tells Valentin that she can’t help wondering what the fallout was, and asks what if the damage wasn’t contained? He says the only reason he got involved was because of her, and doesn’t want to think about the whole mess. She says she’s sorry again, and he says she says that so often, he’s doubting her sincerity. He tells her to drop it.

Franco shows Jason a tree with the chimera carved into the trunk. Franco points out discrepancies in the timeline drawing. If Jake was behind the tree, he wouldn’t see the scarecrow. Jason examines the area around the scarecrow.

Kristina meets Sonny. She tells him she’s involved with the Nurses Ball, mostly because of Amy 2.0, who she’s living with now. She says she came there to see how he’s doing. He says everything is fine on the divorce front. Kristina says Michael told her that Carly wants everything.

Carly introduces Bobbie to Martina. Bobbie leaves to bother someone else, and Martina calls her a bit of a mom bear. Carly says that’s where she gets it. Martina asks how Bobbie is taking the divorce, and Carly says she’s concerned. When Martina mentions Michael, Carly says he wants her to compromise, and Martina says he might have a point. Maybe she should take a closer look at Diane’s proposal. Carly asks what happened that Martina wants to settle. Martina says nothing, she’s just presenting options, but Carly doesn’t buy it.

Sonny tells Kristina not to worry. She tells him to disregard the invoice from PCU. She says she’s finally gotten her head on straight – academically anyway. She’s committed to getting her degree, but she can wait. She doesn’t want him paying for anything. She says once she can access her trust fund, it will help. He’s glad she’s taking responsibility. She thinks maybe she can ask Michael for assistance in the meantime. Sonny says that he and Carly will settle soon.

Martina tells Carly that nothing has changed. The longer it goes on, the more money she makes, and she’ll make a killing at trial. She has reservations about moving ahead though. Costs will be great, not just financially. She says that Carly and Sonny seem in agreement about the kids, and that Carly doesn’t need the money. She’s hurt and angry, but they’re poor reasons to make decisions. Her best advice is to compromise.

Nathan asks if Nina is worried about Valentin’s past. She says no, but someone suggested something, and made her realize she’s overreacting. She says soon Maxie will be back in his arms. She gets a text from Maxie, who turns down the offer, saying she’s not sure if she’s coming back at all.

Lulu tells Laura and Doc that Valentin isn’t who he’s pretending to be, and that children are perceptive. When Charlotte sees who he really is, she’ll come running to Lulu. Doc tells her to concentrate on her relationship with Charlotte, but don’t manipulate her. Lulu says she doesn’t have to; real love trumps manipulation. Please. Lulu gets a text and has to pick up Rocco.

Doc tells Laura that she seems uneasy. She says that’s an understatement. He asks if she doesn’t trust Lulu’s assessment of the situation, but she says that she doesn’t trust Valentin.

Valentin tells Anna that they’re at an impasse. Anna says she needs for him to tell her out of decency. <snort> He tells her that she’s laying it on too thick. Anna says the project had potential to do harm, so please tell her he sold it to the DVX. He says that he can’t.

Jason sees shackles near the scarecrow. Franco says this is alarming.

Kristina asks how Sonny knows they’ll settle. He says that he has a feeling, and she asks what he’s not telling her.

Carly tells Martina no way is she going to settle. She says now that due diligence has been done, she wants to keep everything.

Nathan tells Nina this is the first he’s heard about Maxie staying in Portland indefinitely. It sounds like Maxie is telling him one thing, and Nina another.

Laura tells Doc that Valentin won’t stand for it. He killed her son, and it’s only a matter of time before he does the same to her daughter. She gets all weepy, and I’m wondering why the overreaction.

Valentin tells Anna that he sold the project to the highest bidder. She suggests greed won out, but he says the surgeries didn’t pay for themselves. He sold it for a huge amount of money. He tells her if they wanted to do something with it, they would have already. It will never see the light of day.

Jason remembers being held in the shackles. He looks at the tree. Franco asks what’s going on, and Jason says it’s him; he’s the scarecrow.

Tomorrow, Curtis can’t believe Jordan is making him do something, there’s a special delivery for Elizabeth, Franco says Jason is the one Jake is afraid of and Anna asks if Valentin wants her out of his life. I know I do.

If Loving You is Wrong

Eddie locks Brad’s office door, and says the party is just getting started. Brad tells Eddie to let Randal go, but instead he draws his gun. Eddie asks why Randal is there, and Randal says he came to apologize. Brad backs him up on that, and tells Eddie to let him go again. Eddie says no. He says he doesn’t give a damn anymore; he’s tired of seeing Randal’s face. He asks Brad what Randal said. Brad says Randal told him that he was sorry, which is usually how apologies work.

Eddie tells Brad about how he saw Randal and Alex together. He asks if that’s the kind of apology Randal gives. Brad is like, what? Eddie says they were about to make out when he pulled up. He says right before he came there, they were in his front yard. Randal says they were just talking about the child. Brad says Lushion’s child, and Eddie asks if Alex was swinging from every jungle tree or what? Randal says Alex told him Lushion was the father. Eddie says he should shoot him for telling such a lie. Randal tells him to ask her, and Eddie says he’ll ask them both. Brad says he’d like to keep his job, so just let Randal go. Eddie finally gives in, but stands in front of the door. Randal asks how he’s supposed to leave, and Eddie tells him to pick a window. (Hey, that’s what Kathryn told Veronica on The Haves and the Have Nots.) Brad finally steps in, and moves Eddie aside.

Brad says he can’t go around killing people. Eddie asks what’s wrong with him. Brad says he’s had enough of all of it, and all he wants is peace. Eddie says Alex is still sleeping with Randal. Brad says he needs Eddie to leave him alone. Eddie says he doesn’t know who Brad is anymore, and he’s a damn fool if he goes back with Alex.

Alex’s phone rings. It’s the doctor. She heard about what’s going on. She says Alex’s son is there, and she’s caring for him. Alex is like, thank God, and the doctor asks if she’d like to see him. She told the judge that he baby needs to be breastfed, but she can’t take him out of the nursery. Alex promises, and says she’ll be there as soon as she gets a babysitter.

Alex calls Esperanza, who can’t believe the mess going on with Travis. She says he’s stalking Kelly, who’s in with an officer. Alex asks if there’s any way Esperanza can come and watch the kids; she needs to get to the hospital. She tells Esperanza that she’s allowed to feed the nameless baby. Esperanza says she’ll be there asap, and Alex adds that she needs a ride. Geez.

Lushion tells Natalie that this guy can’t help her and it’s a waste of time, but she says she has to try. A guy knocks at the door and she offers him coffee, but Lushion says he’s here to talk about Joey, not to get free coffee. Natalie takes Lushion into the kitchen, and says he’s welcome to go. Nameless guy tells him not to be upset, and Lushion tells him to do his job. He says Joey violated his probation, and the judge will have to rule on it, and tells Natalie that Joey is getting good care. I don’t know if he’s a lawyer, or caseworker, or what. Natalie says that Joey was starting to turn his life around. The guy says he shot someone, and he wasn’t supposed to have a gun. Natalie asks him if he knows how hard it is for a Black man when he gets out of jail , and that Joey was doing well. He repeats that it’s in the judge’s hands. Lushion tells him to get his ass out. Dude leaves. Lushion tells Natalie they’ll get a lawyer, and if dude is on the case, he’ll have him removed. He knows people. Natalie asks what’s up his sleeve. Lushion says after the house and Joey’s bills, there isn’t much money left, but he knows some people. Natalie says she’s engaged to an OG. She says she liked his jealousy, and he says he wasn’t anything of the kind. He tells her to stop being mad at him when he wants to do things his way. She says he’s always there for her, and he says he’s trying. They hug and kiss and are all happy again.

Marcie visits Louise. Louise says she’s good, and Marcie jokes that they should go shopping. Louise says she’s in good spirits. She was wondering what Marcie was going to say earlier, but Marcie says she doesn’t remember. Louise doesn’t believe it, and tells her, out with it. Marcie says it’s Brad. She’s in love with him. Louise asks if she’s sure, and she says she is. Louise asks when it happened, but Marcie doesn’t know. Louise tells her to be careful; he’s the rebound man. Marcie says they’re not trying to be together, but it’s nice to feel love, real love, safe and pure. Louise thinks it’s based on sex, but Marcie says they’re not even having sex, but Brad is good with intimacy. Louise suggests she let it go until she’s cleaned up her old house. If she moves into the new one too soon, she won’t get her deposit back. She tells Marcie to make sure she’s over her feelings for Randal before she moves on. Marcie says she still loves Randal, and Louise says all the more reason to slow it down. Marcie says she’ll never be with him, but Louise says never say never. Truth! Every time I’ve said never, it’s happened.

Diane leaves the jail, crying. She calls Kelly and starts yelling at her. Kelly asks how she can help. Diane says she’s at the jail, and they’re not sure when they’re letting Tyrell out on probation. She says if she finds out that Kelly had anything to do with it, she promises her – and she hangs up. Promises her what?

Alex tells the doctor that it’s hard leaving the baby. She says Randal is trying to take him away from her, but it’s his baby too. The doctor asks if she’s sure, since she heard something about multiple partners. Alex asks how she heard it, and the doctor is married to a lawyer, who heard it from another lawyer. Alex asks if she can help. She says the baby needs to be with her, and the doctor suggests co-parenting. Alex says no, telling her that Randal only wants the baby to control her. The doctor says there’s nothing legal she can do unless Alex can come up with something else. She tells Alex she can see the baby as much as she wants to.

Marcie pops in, and the doctor asks how the baby is. Alex is surprised that Marcie is pregnant, and Marcie says this is the bitch who slept with her husband. Now she’s having Alex’s husband’s baby, so they’re even. The doctor is a little freaked, but Marcie says that Alex was bound to find out. Marcie gets in the elevator with Alex. Alex cries while Marcie smirks. Marcie tells her that she loves screwing Brad. She says longest and worst elevator ride ever – for Alex – and singsongs that she’s having a baby, saying that she thinks she’ll name it Brad. She goads Alex while everyone else in the elevator is like, wtf? Marcie announces that Alex slept with her husband, and now she’s sleeping with hers. She says she’s not a bad person; Alex started it. Alex gets off on a random floor, while Marcie shouts it’s not her stop. Why is Marcie acting like she’s five? Is this a hormonal thing?

Natalie asks the girls how they like their room, and they say they feel like princesses. She says they are. Lushion shows Natalie’s younger son his room. He asks where Joey is, and Lushion says he’s in the hospital. The doorbell rings.

It’s the paternity test woman. She needs DNA from the both of them. She says that she needs it from Natalie because of Ramses being murdered. Lushion tells Natalie that it’s because she was in the house, but Natalie doesn’t want them to have her DNA because of Eddie working at the station. I don’t blame her. She realizes that Ramses died in their new house, and gets weird. Lushion says he’ll go first. The woman says she’s also doing a paternity test on him. She tells him that they’re determining the paternity of Alex’s baby without a name. Natalie tells her to get out, and Lushion says she has to leave. She says she’ll have to report that they refused, and Natalie tells her, you do that.

Lushion tells Natalie not to come at him crazy. She says she’s going to come at Alex crazy. Lushion wonders how he got into this, and Natalie says she doesn’t know, but she’ll get him out of it. She asks if he’s sure it’s not his baby, and he heaves a huge sigh.

Ben has a headache. Julius calls, and asks how he likes the car. Ben says he hasn’t driven it yet. He asks Julius what’s up, and Julius says he’s thinking of having a party. There’s going to be a lot of Colombian candy there, and he thinks Ben should stop by. Ben asks if he can bring his girlfriend. Julius says it’s a man’s party, and Ben says, cool. Julius tells him that the price of admission is a file on Eddie. Ben is like, um, uhhh, um, uhh, what? Seriously, that’s what he says. Julius says he needs Eddie’s personal file. Ben asks why. Julius tells him that the first rule of combat is knowing the enemy. Ben doesn’t know if he can get it, but Julius has faith in him. He says he’ll try, but Julius says there’s only doing. He’s not doing something for himself; he’s doing his best friend a favor. Ben says he’ll do it.

Lots of sighing tonight. Ben heaves one, and gets up.

Kelly tells an officer she didn’t tell Travis to take her child. She wants to know why they’re not arresting him, and the officer says they’re looking for him. He asks again, and Kelly wonders if he’s hard of hearing. He gives her a tablet, and tells her to read it. She reads a text that asks Travis to come over because Justice is asleep. She says she never wrote it, and people can manufacture text messages. She asks why he doesn’t believe her, and he’s taking Travis’s word. Is it because he’s a man? She asks if she can get a woman on the case. The officer says that’s insulting. She says what’s insulting is that she has to defend herself. He tells her it’s from the phone company’s records, but she insists she didn’t send it. He shows her another one asking Travis to pick Justice up, and saying that she might have left the oven on. She says she didn’t write that. He says the record shows it came off a tower a few blocks from where she works, and tells her that he follows the law. She says okay, and starts to leave. He says not so fast. He tells her that this guy isn’t into her, and she doesn’t need to be dragging them into it. He says Travis could press charges. Kelly tells him that unless he has a warrant, she’s going home. He tells her that he has one.

Next time, Travis is free to go, Julius talks to Randal about his father’s will, and Marcie taunts Alex in front of Brad.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Captain Sandy gives Malia lessons on the tinder. Not a dating app, the small boat kind of tinder. At the beach, Hannah calls for the food, and finds out it’s coming over with the guests. She wonders if she’s going to last the season. The guests are plied with drinks when they get there. It’s no big shock that the yellow fin tuna tartare is pure artistry.

Sandy talks to Malia. She explains that it’s a learning curve, and she picks up the slack. Malia is hoping to be a captain one day herself.

Lauren is concerned about first impressions, and talks to Wes about wanting to show Hannah that she’s not some bimbo who Bobby brought to the club. Fastest beach picnic ever. In his interview, Bobby talks about being friends with Hannah, and we flash back to him telling her f-u. That’s right, I forgot. He’s a creeper and aggressive.

Hannah wants to get a belly dancer for the guests. She says she’s no stranger to theme nights, and we flash back to a couple of them, but I don’t remember the guests dressing up like monks or whatever is going on in one of the clips. I also still can’t understand a word that Wes says. He’s worse than that redheaded guy (Bryan?) from the last Mediterranean season.

Bobby thinks he’ll be a good asset to Wes, having a few charters under his belt. Adam says he doesn’t know much about tribal themes, but knows that cannibalism isn’t the way to go. The guests take pictures on deck with a gorgeous sunset in the background. The captain decides to park drop anchor near some awesome cliffs. Adam flirts with Malia while he cooks.

The guests apply their war paint. Isn’t this cultural appropriation now? There’s a bunch of stuff about shackles and the anchor, but all I understand is that there’s a problem. It’s apparently a bad one, since the captain says it could be over for them. All Max knows is that if you see the rope at the end of the anchor, you’re screwed. Bobby says in trying to impress the captain, he made a mess. In her interview, the captain says she’s not going to come down on Bobby, but they’ll talk about it after the charter.

The guests sit on the floor to eat. Another beautiful table setting with lots of gold and animal prints. Adam isn’t happy with the main dish, and throws it away. Hannah wonders what she’s supposed to do now, and Adam says give him five minutes. The belly dancer arrives. Hannah says she and Adam are getting along, but there’s something she can’t put her finger on. The guests want the chef to come up and explain the spices to them, and he almost ruins the belly dancing surprise. Wait. He does ruin it. Hannah is like, thanks a lot, although she doesn’t seem like she’s really angry.

Lauren says Bobby won’t even look her in the eye. In his interview, he thinks they’re fine. Hannah brings out the belly dancer and the guests applaud. Hannah wonders when the captain is going to realize she’s good at her job. Lauren and Adam flirt. Wes is on anchor watch, and Bugs keeps him company.

Some early jet skiing is done, and then another fabulous breakfast. Captain Sandy gives instructions to Wes about pulling up the anchor, and tells him about the mistake Bobby made. Wes tries to play matchmaker with Bobby and Malia, but in her interview, Malia says she’s good being free, and tells him to just think of her as one of the deck boys. Wes talks about his girlfriend. Bugs talks to Hannah about communication with Adam, and in her interview, Hannah explains that chefs are temperamental most of the time. Captain Sandy asks Hannah to change for a photograph, and says she’ll get the drinks for the guests. In her interview, the captain says Hannah isn’t used to it being a team effort. The guests take pictures with the crew in their dress uniforms.

It’s time to pull into port. While Lauren is finishing the laundry, there’s a huge noise. She comes out to see glass and blood in the hallway. One of the hatch ports fell open and shattered a shower door, which unfortunately exploded all over Malia. The first aid kit is called for. Bobby goes into firefighter/EMT mode. He and Hannah argue about him looking at Malia’s wound while she’s not dressed (she was washing off in the shower). He thinks Hannah has marked her territory after last season. Malia is glad he can handle the situation, but thinks he still wanted to see her nakey.

The guests talk about this being the best vacation ever, but it’s time to say good-by. The primary tells Captain Sandy it was spectacular and cool to have a female captain. These guys don’t even change before counting the money. The captain gives them performance notes, and tells them what they need to work on, saying they’ll figure it out together. The take is $15K, or $1,375 each. Captain Sandy says she’d like to take them out to dinner.

She also wants to have a meeting with Hannah, who feels like she’s being called to the principal’s office. The captain gives her a bunch of compliments and says she’s impressed. (Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.) She points out that they also have the same color eyes. Wes makes fun of Bobby helping Malia. Everyone gets ready to go out.

Wes tells us he suffers from FOMO. I don’t blame him since he has to stay behind to babysit the boat. The town is beautiful, with castles and grottos and whatnot. The captain toasts to a successful first charter. She jets after dinner, and the crew talks about relationships. Wes arrives, and the group moves on to a club. The drinking and dancing commences. Hannah dances with Malia, and says she’ll be Malia’s big sister. Bobby is afraid she’s cockblocking him. On the way back to the boat, everyone gets goofy.

Bobby tells the guys his concerns about Hannah. Wes thinks it looks like Hannah trying to hook up with Malia. I agree.

Back on the boat, Bobby tries to find out what Hannah was telling Malia. Then he follows Hannah around, asking what he told her. He starts cursing Hannah out, saying she throws him under the bus; she did it in New York with Lauren. He calls her an alcoholic, and says she won’t remember it in the morning. She asks what she’s done to him. Malia tells him that they weren’t talking about him. Hannah points out that Bobby is being aggressive, which makes him more aggressive. She asks what she said that was bad about him, and Bobby tells her get out. In her interview, Hannah says she’ll remember this conversation for a Very. Long. Time.

Next time, the primary is Mr. Skin who owns a nudie website and wants to do a naked news photo shoot, Bugs says unmentionable parts are staring her in the eyeballs, a sink backs up (I don’t want to know), and Bobby acts like a jerk yet again.

😱 Hey, how about that Abby Lee Miller? 😱