Tag Archives: nighttime drama

March 31, 2020 – Jordan Involves the DOJ, Two Pranks Are Played, Loving Is Back, a Last Season, New GH Schedule, Soaps Rate, Okay Andy & Tired


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I missed the very beginning, because I was running early. Why, Lord, why?

At the MetroCourt, Lulu sees Brook. Dustin asks if Lulu is sure this is a good idea. Does she remember what happened the last time? She says she remembers exactly what happened.

Trina apologizes to Cameron for being late. She lost track of time talking to Ava. Cameron says, it’s totally fine. Everything good? She says, yeah. Him? He flashes back to the kiss, and Trina saying, if she’d lost him, she wouldn’t be able to do any of this, and him saying, neither could he. He tells Trina, it’s all good.

Portia tells Curtis, she knew there was a lot Taggert couldn’t tell her, and frankly there was a lot she didn’t want know. Even when they were breaking up, she still cared about him, and he did everything he could to reassure her. Curtis says, she suspected it was Cyrus when Taggert was killed. He must have told her something about the investigation. She asks why it’s important, and Curtis says he and Jordan are always trying to figure out what to bring home, and what to leave at the office. It must have been the same with them.

Laura goes to the station, and sees Mac. She asks if Jordan is in her office, but he says she’s in a meeting. Laura asks if Mac means Jordan is interrogating a suspect, and Mac says he means she’s in a meeting. Laura gets that Mac isn’t used to her being mayor, but she has to ask him what’s going on.

In the interrogation room, Cliff sets up a recorder, and says, it’s an interview with Jordan regarding the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault. He asks if Jordan consents to the recording. She does, and he tells her to please explain her involvement in the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault.

Alexis says Finn doesn’t seem surprised to hear that she fell off the wagon. He says he feels terrible that he missed her call, but she says it’s not his job to keep her sober; it’s hers. Last night, she let her team down. He says they’re on the same team. If she has some time, he’d like to talk. She says she had one drink, but he says they both know it’s never just one. Alexis says, it’s all she had, and he says she’s been sober almost three years. What changed? She says, apparently, she did, or that’s what she was told. It’s the truth. He says, and that’s bad because… She says, because she stopped fighting for herself and what she believes in. Instead, she protected someone and crossed the line. He says she’s not first person to ever do that. What’s so horrible that she would end three years of sobriety? She says she slept with the person she protected, and she knew it was wrong, but the worst thing is that she’d do it again in a heartbeat. He says he believes her, and asks if she slept with them because she had a drink, or did she drink because she slept with them?

Julian and Britt cuddle in bed, and Julian says, he can get used to this. She tells him to remember their deal. It’s just fun, and at the end of the day, he goes his way and she goes hers. Britt says she probably should go, and he asks if it’s visiting hours at the jail. She says she’s already seen her mother, and once is enough. He asks if Obrecht is still claiming Peter framed her, and she says her mother lives by the motto, deny, deny, deny. She never takes responsibility for her crimes. He says, unlike Britt’s best pal Brad. He can’t believe Brad was involved in a baby switch, and she says Brad isn’t the villain Julian wants him to be. Julian knows Brad is Britt’s best friend, but Brad did betray his son’s trust in the worst possible way. She says, things are not always black and white. If he took the time to understand… He says, like her? She says she and Brad are kindred spirits. Now Brad is in prison, and they can only interact through a glass partition. She’s lost her best friend, and doesn’t know how she’s going to replace him in her life. Brad is the only person who got her, and without him, it feels pretty lonely.

Ned tells Brook, no one would be thrilled with a rematch, and she says, Lulu is a smug self-righteous, spoiled brat. There’s no way she’s letting Lulu win. He says, it’s not a competition. Blame him. He shouldn’t have forced her to work at ELQ. He’s going to find her a job more suitable to her talents. She says her talents belong on stage, and that’s exactly where she’s going.

Dustin says, the mess with Brook is over, isn’t it? and Lulu asks why she should go easy on Brook. He says, Brook is social media’s new punching bag, and she’s been beaten enough. She says, tell her that he doesn’t feel sorry for Brook, and he says he knows the reason Lulu resents Brook; she was desperate to become a success, like him. She says Brook dumped him because he couldn’t help her, but she has better things to do than scratch Brook’s eyes out, as much as she’d like to. He says, name one, and she says, this. They kiss, and Olivia approaches their table. She asks if anyone would care to hear the specials.

Trina asks Cameron how practice is going, and he says, good, but weird. It kind of freaks him out. When he’s playing, his focus is totally on the ball. She says, it’s not weird. She gets the same feeling at the gallery. It’s all about the work. She forgets the drama, and the questions that have no answers. He says he thought her mom didn’t like Ava, and Trina says, her mom doesn’t, but she does. She can talk about anything to Ava. He says that’s like him and Franco, and she asks what they talk about. He says, they were just talking about his last session with Dr. Bern. She says, Dr. Bern? Isn’t he… Cameron says, a therapist, yes. His mother thought he needed someone to talk to because… She asks if he thinks he needs a therapist, and he says, now she sounds like Dr. Bern. He agreed to go so his mother would stop treating him like a basket case. Trina says, he’s entitled to be a basket case, but he says she went through a lot more. She tells him not to compare their tragedies. She’s glad he can talk to Franco, and he says he’s glad she has Ava, but be careful; Josslyn doesn’t trust her. Trina says she gets why, but her experience is completely different, and Ava has been supportive. She wonders why something awful has to happen before they realize they’re not alone. He says that’s a good question, but he doesn’t have an answer.

Curtis asks Portia if Taggert was the kind of guy who brought his work home with him, and she says, sometimes. He says, even when it came to Cyrus? and she asks why he cares. He says he’s just curious because she mentioned balancing work and married life. She asks why it matters now.

Jordan says she was part of a four member team at the DEA. They were a task force assigned to Cyrus. Her, Bob, Mark, and Taggert. All three died in a three month period. Two from overdoses, who had no history of drug use, and Taggert was murdered. She became concerned and went over the DEA files. That’s when she realized there were discrepancies in the evidence. Cliff asks her to elaborate, and she says, upon further examination, she saw the material evidence used to convict Cyrus may have been fabricated. He asks if she knew they’d been obstructing justice, but she says she just had a sneaking suspicion.

Laura knows Mac was working on figuring out how Cyrus got messages from prison out to the street, but Mac says, so far, they have nothing. Laura wonders if the lead is in front of him, and he asks if she’s suggesting they have a dirty cop. She hopes not, but somebody is helping Cyrus. Jordan and Cliff come out of the interrogation room, and Jordan looks at Laura.

Cliff says, now the DOJ will have to be involved, and trusts Jordan won’t leave town. She says, of course (🍷) not. Mac asks, what’s going on? and she says, long story. It will have to wait. He says what’s more important if it involves the people he works with? but she says, it doesn’t. It’s about her and Cyrus. She leaves, and Mac and Laura look at each other.

Trina and Cameron walk as they talk. Trina says Josslyn and Dev can’t leave the property without a security guard. It would make her rip her hair out. It was bad enough with her mother texting her ten times a day, and monitoring where she is. He asks if her mother has backed off yet.

Lulu tells Olivia, she’s sorry about trashing the restaurant, but Brook started the fight. Olivia asks if that was before or after Lulu doused Brook with champagne. Lulu says Brook has done nasty things to her, but Olivia says Lulu has done the same. Like printing Brook’s careless post in The Invader. By the way, that’s not even her beat. Lulu says she didn’t tell Brook to post it in the first place, but even if she hadn’t written about it, someone else would have. Olivia says, it wasn’t someone else; it was Lulu. She gets that Dante is gone, and Lulu is acting out. What she doesn’t understand is that in moving on, why Lulu has turned her back on Olivia and the family. She says she thought Lulu was part of the family, and walks away.

Ned knows Brook has a plan to secretly write and record until she gets her creative property rights back, but does she think it’s a good idea to go on stage? Brook says she doesn’t need to be secretive anymore. She found a way out. He says Diana and ELQ”s lawyers couldn’t break Brook’s contract, and Brook found a way? She says she didn’t need to. After Ned decided to embarrass her, she decided to give Linc what he wants. He says, she’s not going to have… and she says, no. All he needs to know is that she’s now free and clear of her soul-sucking contract. He says it’s not all needs to know. What did she give Linc to make him walk away?

Julian tells Britt, there are way more appropriate candidates for best friend than Brad. She just looks at him, and he says he’s sorry she lost her best friend. Would she like a drink? She asks if by other candidates, he means like him, and he asks if that’s so horrible. Does she have something in common with more upstanding citizens in Port Charles? She says her alleged crimes were an act of love. She doesn’t think holding a knife to his ex’s throat is considered an act of love. Julian says he and Alexis are in a better place now, and she asks if Alexis forgave him. Julian says Alexis got therapy, and Britt says her therapist must be good. As she remembers, Alexis doesn’t forgive so easily. He says, so good, Alexis fell for him. She’s stopped therapy, but hasn’t stopped seeing Dr. Bern. Britt says, Dr. Bern? and Julian asks if she knows him.

Alexis tells Finn, her reasons for drinking are complicated, and he says, they usually are. Would one of the complications be Julian? She doesn’t blame him for coming up with that, but Julian was a good guy, and picked her up the bar. Sam called her coward. He says, and Alexis believed her? She’s fearless and courageous, but Alexis says she lacked courage when the going got rough. Maybe she drank because she can’t be with the guy. Finn says it sounds like she cares about him very much, and she says, it’s just… Neil walks in, and a lightbulb comes on over Finn’s head.

Neil says he thought there was a staff meeting there. Alexis says, it was an AA meeting, and Neil says maybe he got the meeting wrong. Finn says he’s got the wrong room, and tells Neil where it is. Neil says he’s going to bring a GPS next time, but Finn says, when he’s been there a while, he’ll figure it out. Finn kept thinking the supply closet was the on-call room. Alexis says she has to take off, and Neil says he does too, but Finn asks if he can asks a couple of questions. It will just take a minute. He wants to pick Neil’s brain about a patient, and it might have legal complications. Alexis says she has a meeting, and Neil says he’ll be late, but Finn ignores them. He says he’s been treating a patient who’s taken a series of experimental drugs, and is now confessing to bizarre crimes. Maybe the crimes are real; maybe they’re the patient’s imagination. Or maybe it’s their mental illness. Neil and Alexis look at each other, and flash back to their night in the hotel. Finn asks what Neil thinks. Side effects of the medication, or should he investigate if these are true confessions?

Britt tells Julian, she knew Neil looked familiar, but now she’s heard his name in context with Alexis. She had a layover in New York City, and went shopping. She stayed at the nicest hotel, and when she was on her way back to her room, she saw a man about to knock on a door. She didn’t think anything of it, but when the door opened, Alexis stepped out. She was about to say hi, when they fell into each other’s arms, and went back into the room. The guy was Dr. Neil Bern.

Lulu asks Dustin if Olivia was right. Was she desperate to punish Brook, and didn’t care who she hurt? Don’t be the supportive boyfriend, but tell her the truth. He asks if he can’t be both. He tells her, she’s caring, passionate, and impulsive, which aren’t bad things. They’re all reasons why he can’t get enough of her. But in her moving on, the hard part is, sometimes her impulses get out of control. She didn’t have to publish Brook’s post. It could have disappeared into the blogosphere, and no one would have been the wiser. She did it to get back at Brook.

Brook says, Ned likes to keep his business dealings private, and so does she. Her phone rings, and she says it’s her new PR guy; she has to run. As she heads to the elevator, on the phone, she says she has good news for him; he’s going to love it. Olivia asks Ned why every time she sees his daughter smiling, she knows all hell is about to break loose?

Trina tells Cameron, she and her mother have established some ground rules. They made them together. Her mom will give her space as long as Trina doesn’t scare her with radio silence. He says, sounds like a plan, and she says she knows his mom has rules; what about Franco? He says, Franco isn’t big on rules. Trina gets a text from Josslyn, and says she was supposed to text yesterday, and forgot. He asks what Josslyn said about… The last time they were all together, trying to study Shakespeare, Trina left. He knows why she left, but Josslyn didn’t. Unless… Trina didn’t tell her that they kissed, did she?

Portia doesn’t get why Curtis cares so much what went on between her and Taggert. Why is it important? There’s a knock at the door, and Jordan pops in. She says she’s sorry. She didn’t know Curtis would still be there. Portia says Curtis was just asking if she and Taggert talked about his work. Curtis says he was wondering about the Cyrus investigation, and Portia says she told him that Taggert really didn’t talk about his work at home. Jordan says, good. The less Portia and Trina have to do with Cyrus, the better. Portia says, it’s a little late for that. Her daughter was already kidnapped, and her father was shot in front of her. Jordan says she’s sorry. She’s afraid she has more bad news. Portia says, it’s not Trina, is it? but Jordan says, no. Trina is fine as far as she knows. She just met with a detective from Internal Affairs, and he’s asked the Justice Department to open an investigation involving Taggert’s handling of the case against Cyrus.

Alexis tells Finn, from a legal standpoint, policies would have to be investigated. Neil says he’ll work on whether it’s delusion or medication. Finn thanks them both, saying he appreciates it. He asks Alexis, lunch tomorrow? and she says, coffee. He says, sounds good, and leaves. Alexis walks into the office, and Neil closes the door. He says he knows it’s none of his business, but Finn seemed concerned about her. She says it was a post AA meeting; a double-checking thing. Neil says, he’s concerned, but she says she’s fine. Really. He says, every time a patient feels compelled to use the word really, it makes him concerned. She says she’s not a patient anymore, and he says, as one friend to another, can he help?

Julian tells Britt, Alexis’s therapist took advantage of her, but Britt says, Alexis is a grown woman, and as far as she could tell, wanted it as much as Neil did. Julian says, there are rules against that, and she says, it’s ironic that Julian has rules. He says, if Neil is ignoring that, he’ll have to remind him. He’s heading over to GH now. She says, to do what? Ride Neil? She doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Alexis can take care of herself. He says, if she wants to worry about someone, worry about Neil. She says, all she wants to know is if he’s giving her a ride, or does she have to call Ride Share? He says, let’s go, and they leave.

Dustin says, too much honesty? but Lulu says, no; he’s right. So was Olivia. She was acting out, but Brook goes out of her way to be antagonistic, and she wanted to get back at her. She’s a bad person. He says, she’s a wonderful person, but she says, with so many flaws. He says, perfection is overrated.

On the phone, Brook tells her PR guy, if they ask about the big blow up, say no comment, and move on. The less said about it, the quicker it will blow over. She’ll be posting behind-the-scenes footage of her new material. Lulu approaches, and says she knows Brook heard her. Brook says, she’s ignoring Lulu. Take the hint. Lulu asks Brook to hear her out.

Trina says, Josslyn has no idea she and Cameron kissed, and he says, thank God. It would make things awkward. She says, a little bit, and he asks what she ended up telling Josslyn. She says she told Josslyn things were weird because of what happened to her dad, which is actually true. They were all traumatized, and none of them is thinking clearly. Josslyn understood completely. He says he’s glad to hear it, and she says she’s got to run. She promised to meet her mom at the hospital. He says he has  to meet his mom too; can he join her? She says, sure. What are friends for? I’m disappointed.

Portia doesn’t understand. She says Cyrus was found guilty, and sent to prison years ago, and Taggert is dead. Why revisit the case? Jordan says the other two members of the team were also killed in the last three months. She questioned the circumstances of their deaths, and searched for why they were singled out. She found proof that they fabricated the evidence that put Cyrus away. Portia says, they falsified evidence? and Jordan says, they were desperate for a conviction, and Cyrus was too good at not getting caught. She’s sure they felt it meant saving lives. Portia says, that could explain a lot about what happened in the marriage. With Taggert, everything was black and white; there were no grey areas. If he violated his own code, it would have eaten him up inside. I note that Jordan has officially replaced Jason in making the best worried face ever.

Laura thanks someone on the phone, and says she’ll be in touch. She tells Mac, it’s true. The DOJ is doing an investigation. They’ve ordered a complete review of the evidence that put Cyrus in prison. Apparently, Taggert worked with the other two agents to plant evidence against him. Mac says, no. He worked with Taggert for years, and Taggert never bent the law. He had a deep loathing for any officer who did. Laura says, if Jordan thinks there’s a possibility he crossed the line, they have to take it seriously.

Portia says, Taggert and his colleagues were killed for putting Cyrus in prison. What about Jordan? Where does she factor in? Curtis says, Jordan worked inside to gain Cyrus’s confidence. Portia says, so she was working independently of the team? and he says, right. Portia says, Taggert didn’t tell her; they left her out? He says, that’s right. Jordan knew nothing about it.

Olivia wonders how Brook got out of her contract, and Ned says she wouldn’t tell him, and he didn’t push her. He had the feeling no amount of pressure would make her talk. Maybe grandfather had the right idea about tough love. Olivia says that would let him off the hook. Now he doesn’t have to feel guilty about firing her.

Brook sits with Lulu and says, make it quick; she has a meeting with Lucy. Lulu says she didn’t know Brook was interested in real estate, and Brook says she’s not. Lulu says, skin care and cosmetics? Brook says, no. Her career is back on track. She’s launching her rebrand at this year’s Nurses ball. Dustin says, congratulations, and Lulu says, absolutely. She tells Brook, she’s not sorry she did her job as a journalist, but she could have contacted ELQ first, and given them a chance address the pharmaceutical branch that was closing. And it was wrong of her to spray Brook with champagne. So, are they good?

In the elevator, Britt tells Julian, take a deep breath, and do some quick elevator meditation. Don’t do anything he regrets.

Neil tells Alexis, there’s no rule that says she can’t turn to him for help. Alexis says, when she considers that, alarm bells go off inside her head. Neil says she called him last night, but she says, it was a mistake. She wasn’t in an appropriate state to see him. He asks, what state would that be? She shows him her one-day chip. Julian and Britt look through the window.

Mac tells Laura, there has to be more to the story, and she says, maybe there is, but she doesn’t know why Jordan wouldn’t have shared that. Mac says, she took the investigation at face value, but she knew Taggert better than anyone. Why would she have gone straight to IA? Laura says, maybe she couldn’t believe Taggert did something illegal. Mac asks if they just sit back and watch it play out, but she says, no. If something else is going on, she wants him find it.

Jordan tells Portia, she had no idea when Cyrus was originally tried that evidence was planted. Portia says, it’s not going to stay quiet for long. She has to find Trina and tell her what’s going on. Trina knocks on the door, and Portia says, better now than later. She opens the door to Trina and Cameron, and Trina asks, what’s going on? Why are they here?

Ned tells Olivia, Brook is his daughter. From the moment she was born, he started to feel guilty. She says, he had to fire Brook; he had no choice. The mess Brook brought back, she did by her lonesome. He says if Brook is back on track, he won’t feel so guilty, but she says if Brook isn’t willing to tell him exactly how it happened, she has some scheme or epic machination that’s going to blow up in everyone’s face.

Brook accepts Lulu’s apology, and they shake hands. Brook says she wants something in return, and Lulu says, name it. Brook says, Lulu’s boyfriend.

Alexis tells Neil, it’s the first day of her new life. She shows him her chip, and he takes her hand. He says he’s proud of her. Julian busts into the room, and grabs Neil, throwing him up against the wall. Alexis asks what Julian is doing.

Tomorrow, Valentin says Brook’s ELQ shares are officially his, Trina tells Portia not to believe Jordan’s lies, and Carly asks Brando when the other shoe is going to drop.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana meets Lisa for riding. Lisa says she taught Prince to talk, and Ariana says she’s ready for this. Lisa calls Tardon, parlay! and Prince whinnies.

Katie visits Stassi, who’s on the couch, wearing a sleep mask. They have wine and burgers, and Stassi says, it’s just what she needed. The hangover struggle is real.

James makes bacon, and tells Raquel that he had the weirdest dream. Lala was in it. Raquel asks, why? and he says, because he was having an annoying night. We flash back to Tom’s birthday, and Raquel relaying to James that Logan had said he was at a party where people were getting effed up. Raquel says she has to ask; was James drinking at that party? He says, no. If he had, it would be a serious problem. He swears he hasn’t had a drank in six days, In his interview, he says he used to think if bad things happened, it was a good reason to drink, but hit doesn’t solve anything. He’s happy he didn’t.

Lisa tells Ariana that James quit drinking, and he’s getting help. Ariana says, it’s like déjà vu or Groundhog Day, but Lisa says she thinks the difference is that Raquel put her foot down. Ariana says you never know when James is going to snap, and Lisa says it’s when he has his first drink, but she thinks the tide has changed.

James tells Raquel that he’s been talking to Lisa every day.

Stassi can’t believe Katie is having a girls wine night party, but Kristen isn’t invited. Katie says, it’s happening. She’s met some new people, but hasn’t gotten to know them, so she’s invited Dayna, Danica, and Charli. She also can’t not invite Raquel if she’s invited the others. In Stassi’s interview, she says Katie has invited every single girl in West Hollywood, and Kristen is going to be pissed. Katie tells Stassi, if Kristen is going to act like that, she’s not inviting her.

Lisa says, when it gets to be too much, she goes to the stable. Ariana complains that her horse has a small wiener, and it’s embarrassing.

In his interview, Jax says he swore he’d never be at SUR when he turned 40, and at 40, he’s still there. Tom comes in, hungover and struggling. Jax suggests the hair of the dog. Raquel sees Scheana outside in the back, and Scheana says Raquel looked cute at Tom’s party. Raquel says Scheana looked hot, and Scheana says she had fun with her whip. Katie calls Raquel, and invites her to wine night tomorrow with the ladies. Raquel says she’d love to. In Raquel’s interview, she says, Katie has never been intentionally mean to her, but she’s never gone out of her way to be kind either. Scheana wonders how it’s going to be with Lala, and tells Raquel that she’ll have friends there. She can mediate if need be.

Brett has invited Scheana to make a YouTube video with him. In his interview, he says he does personal training, and has been successful on YouTube by being his authentic self. A lot of women follow him. He tells Scheana that he thinks women will identify with her, and what she’s been through as a young divorcee. He trusts her and she’s a friend. Scheana thinks they’ll become better friends, because this woman cannot take no for an answer. He thinks she’s awesome, but says he’d never want to hurt her by making her think there’s something that’s not there. He looks at her like a guy friend. Scheana, who only hears what she wants to, says, who knows; maybe one day. In Brett’s interview, he says he loves her as a person, but has no intention of taking he home. Scheana suggests they see where the world takes them.

Schwartz goes to Tom’s place, where Max has arrived ahead of him. In Tom’s interview, he says, people give him a hard time about not having furniture, but they have a couch and a credenza. They’re good. Tom says, it’s Jax’s birthday, and Brittany is taking him out to lunch. Now that they have houses, it’s open to the possibility of TP’ing them. Schwartz says, talking about it ruins it; it has to be spontaneous. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he’s all for a good prank, but because of the dynamic between Tom and Jax, he doesn’t know if they’re in a good enough place for that. Schwartz says he can’t do it today, as Tom pours beer in a funnel. He doesn’t mind pissing Jax off, but not on his birthday. Tom wants Schwartz to funnel beer, and Schwartz asks, what for? Tom says, for Jax, and Schwartz says, Jax isn’t here. Tom points to his heart, and says, Jax is here. In Max’s interview, he says Tom wants to beer bong and TP a house in the afternoon, but he has to go to work. He doesn’t think it’s the best idea. They sit by the pool, and Tom brings out shots. They toast to Jax’s birthday. Schwartz thinks instead of pranking Jax, they should lift him up, and show how much they love him. Tom says he’ll be back in fifteen, and Schwartz says, what if it rains? Tom and Max leave, but Schwartz stays behind. He can’t, he won’t, and he’s not doing it.

Tom and Max TP Jax’s house, and Tom says, it feels good. In Max’s interview, he thinks Tom is releasing some frustration against Jax; he’s fired up. The leave OLD FART in toilet paper letters on the street in front of the house. Jax and Brittany come home to trees laden with toilet paper, and Jax says, WTF? Are you effing kidding me? Who does that? Brittany says, what the hell is this? Jax sees the message, and says, these a-holes. This is going to suck. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s not that funny. He knows one of his friends did it, but doesn’t know which one.

Jax starts making calls. Tom says he didn’t have anything to do with it, and claims they got him too, and shows Jax his front yard with a few streams of toilet paper hanging from a tree. In Toms’ interview, he says, there are three things you need to get away with a prank. Confidence, an alibi with plausible details – Jax says it doesn’t look like as much in Tom’s yard, and Tom says they must have hit Jax’s house first –  and a couple of gullible friends. Brittany says Schwartz swears he didn’t do it. Jax says he knows Beau did it. Brittany shows Stassi the yard, and Stassi says, it’s so insane. In his interview, Jax says he’s going to find how who did this, and get them back.

Scheana tells Brett she went home with some guy from Tom’s party, but not the one she came with. She’s excited to be YouTube’ing with him. He sets up the camera, and says he’s there with a good friend; a homie. He introduces Scheana, and says she’s 34, and looks great. She highly recommends Botox. He says, she’s a middle-aged woman, and in her interview, Scheana wonders in what world she’s considered middle-aged. I too, am wondering. Brett says she’s been married and divorced, and she’s freezing her eggs, because right now, she’s not trying to have a baby. She says she’s not getting in another relationship or getting married unless the guy blows her mind. She’s been dating f***boys, and it’s fun. Brett says, you attract the energy you put out, and asks if she’s a f***girl. In Scheana’s interview, she wonders why she’s doing this interview. He stops filming, and she says she can be happy, single, and getting laid, or fat desperate and looking for love. I guess there’s no in-between? She says she doesn’t want a relationship. He calls her middle-aged again, and she says he keeps aging her. He clearly doesn’t know the definition because she has at least another ten to fifteen years. I get the feeling Brett isn’t the brightest bulb in the box, which is saying a lot since Scheana is no Einstein either.

Lisa explains to her housekeeper that she’s going to her mother’s funeral, staying one more day, and then coming back. In Lisa’s interview, she says the funeral was delayed, and it’s been overwhelming. Puffy! She tells Puffy not to be nervous. She’s going to call her other rescue boy, and see how he’s doing.

James asks Raquel what she’s going to say at the wine party when Lala comes at her. It’s going to be a feeding frenzy. Lisa calls, and asks if he’s doing okay, and he says he’s doing really well. He has a meeting tonight. She says she’s going out to London tomorrow, and just because she’s on the other side of the world, doesn’t mean she won’t know what’s going on. He says he’s taking it seriously. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t need another child, but James’s vulnerability tugs at her heartstrings. She’s invested a little in helping to get him there, and he’s going to do it. I want her to adopt me.

Katie makes charcuterie boards for the party. Stassi says, a lot of people are coming; Kristen is going to sh*t her pants. Katie says, life goes on without her, and Stassi says she understands Katie’s logic, but Kristen won’t.

Scheana can’t wait to call Kristen, and give her the news. Kristen says she’s prepping for Jax’s birthday party, and Scheana whines that Brett called her middle-aged. She tells Kristen that she’s heading over to Katie’s for girls wine night. Kristen says, that’s precious. Katie is her wine partner, and not inviting her. Scheana says, Katie has literally invited all of SUR. I forgot to mention, literally is literally every other word with this group, and I’m literally tired of it. If it was a drinking game, we’d be smashed in the first ten minutes of the show. Kristen asks if Lisa is going to be there, and Scheana says Lisa is in London for her mother’s funeral, but maybe she was invited. In Kristen’s interview, she feels like this is bullsh*t. Katie wants crazy Kristen, so she can justify it. She tells her dogs that they’re her two best friends. Which I actually (literally?) don’t think is a bad thing.

The girls start arriving. In her interview, Dayna says she grew up on Mad Dog 2020, and vodka from a box (is that a thing?), so she’ll drink whatever’s there. Scheana says she came in her pajamas; it’s been a long day. She did a YouTube video with Brett, and he called her middle-aged. Stassi says, he’s only two years younger than Scheana. They toast to girls night.

At TomTom, Max tells Tom, everything is good. Jax arrives, and says, the party’s here.

Brittany tells the girls that they’re having Jax’s birthday party at Rocco’s. It’s going to be an 80s theme.

Tom gives Jax a paper shopping bag. Jax takes out some toilet paper. In his interview, he says, if Tom wants to surprise him, show up with a fifth of vodka. There will be consequences.

Brittany wonders who TP’d the house. Jax thinks it’s Beau and Stassi. Stassi thinks it’s Tom, but Ariana says someone came to her house too. Brittany is still friends with Kristen, and asks if they’re still going to be able to hang out. Katie says they still have a wine inventory, but the friendship is off. Lala talks to Scheana on the porch, and says Raquel should feel lucky to be graced with her presence. In Lala’s interview, she wants Raquel to stay in her lane, and let people like her run sh*t. Lala goes inside, and says she wants to have a real talk with Raquel. Because a party is definitely the place to do that. She says she pulled Raquel aside because she as genuinely concerned about James, and wanted to make sure he was okay. Raquel says Lala turned it into an ugly thing, and focused on Logan. Lala says she was speaking; let her finish. Raquel forgot her place, but Lala will steer her back. Raquel says, Logan is obsessed with James. In her interview, she says, this is raw Lala. Lala sees her as vulnerable, and preys on it. If they can’t all agree Lala is a bully, they can agree she’s a bitch. Lala says she set up James with studio sessions, and wouldn’t say anything if she didn’t care. In Charli’s interview, she thinks maybe Lala still likes James, but you can secretly still like someone and secretly hate their girlfriend. I don’t see Lala as still being interested in James that way, but okay. Raquel says, James didn’t drink, and Lala says she’s missing the point, and ran off after she told Lala STFU. At her worst, Raquel is like a yapping chihuahua. Raquel says, Lala is a Rottweiler, and Lala says, no; she’s a Pitbull. Brittany says, they’re scaring her, and Stassi laughs. Lala tells Stassi, stay in her bubble. In Stassi’s interview, she says Lala is her girl, but right now, she has no leg to stand on. Lala says, don’t project on her what they want her to reflect. Huh?

In the car, Raquel tells James that she’s tired; it was a lot of wine. It was awkward. She and Lala argued, and everyone else was quiet. It’s been a week. James says it was weird before the meeting; he felt overwhelmed. He hasn’t shared yet. In his interview, he says he wasn’t sure what to expect, but he’s in a room full of cool people who have realized alcohol isn’t a cool solution to problems. Raquel drives him to a meeting.

Everyone gathers for Jax’s birthday party. Brittany thinks it’s weird how Jax wanted a theme, but he’s not willing to dress up for anyone else’s. Jax comes in looking like a poor man’s Brett Michaels. In his interview, he says he’s a huge 80s buff; it’s his decade. He would have dressed like this anyway. Tom gives Jax a gift, and it’s a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. In Tom’s interview, he says when he, Schwartz, and Jax lived together, they watched Step Brothers all the time, and the Will Ferrell character has a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. He called Randy’s assistant and had it signed. A producer asks what Jax got Tom for his birthday, and he says, um… He doesn’t think Jax got him anything. Schwartz gives Jax a fake, very lifelike, female foot. In his interview, Schwartz says, Jax likes dirty, filthy, stinky feet. He’s worried there’s a paper trail leading to him buying the foot, and he’s now on a list. Jax tells Brittany that she’s been replaced. Brittany tells Kristen, it was weird with her not being at wine night. It was fun, but crazy. In Kristen’s interview, she says Stassi and Katie were her L.A. family, and she doesn’t understand how you can cut family out. The point is that you stick together no matter what. She tells Brittany, they don’t want anything to do with her. Brittany says she sees both sides, but Kristen doesn’t know what their side is. She’s said things she didn’t mean and apologized, but she thinks they say things they mean.

Raquel waits for James after the meeting. When he gets in the car, he tells her that he shared for the first time. Raquel says, that’s amazing, and in James’s interview, he says his persona is DJ James, the life of the party. It’s been seven years of non-stop partying. Being vulnerable is difficult for him, and it’s going to be a day by day thing. He tells Raquel he was nervous. He felt like she did back in the day, giving a speech to her college class. He’s blessed to have figured it out now.

Randall tells Jax that when you’re in the 40 club with him, it’s not about TP’ing a house. He’s a prank specialist, and tonight a prank cop car is going to be pulling up at Tom’s house and arresting him for vandalism. They’re going to cuff him, put him in the car, then they’ll jump out and say it’s a prank. Lala tells Jax his birthday gift is happening tonight. In her interview, she says, Randall is a prankster specialist. He’s done over 100 films, and pulled a prank on all of them. It’s always epic. Randall says, no one can know.

At Tom’s house, Ariana says she rented a table and chairs. She thinks she might want to stick with rented furniture, since she doesn’t trust anyone not to eff up her house, including Tom. The guests arrive, and she says, RIP her house. Jax brings his own chair, since he won’t sit on the cushions. They have cat hair on them, and he hates cat hair. He yells for music, when two cops come in, and ask to talk to Tom. They pat Tom down, and Jax acts shocked. The cops take Tom outside, and in Jax’s interview, he says they’re genius actors, and look like real cops. For a second, Jax thought he was in trouble. One of the cops asks what Tom knows about a vandalism report, but Tom says he didn’t do anything. The guests move outside, and Schwartz is sure it has to do with parking tickets. The cops tell them to stand back, and put Tom in the car. Ariana asks what it’s about, and one of the cops tells her, it’s about vandalism. Jax insists he didn’t say anything, but one of his neighbors may have. In his interview, Jax says, this is how you do a prank when you’re an adult. Tom will never be number one. He tells Ariana, he didn’t call anyone; it wasn’t him. Randall goes over to the car, and tells Tom, here’s the thing. When you f*** with Jax on his birthday, you f*** with them. Lala says he got them all, and they dance around and high-five each other. Ariana says her heart is beating out of her chest.

Jax thanks the actors, and Katie says she hates them all. Scheana tells Tom that he’s really sweating. In Katie’s interview, she says she doesn’t think it’s funny. Just turn on the news. She asks if she’s the only one who thinks it’s not funny, and Jax says, Tom’s not mad, and that’s all that matters. In Tom’s interview, he says it was one of the best pranks ever, and he’s honored to have it pulled on him. Ariana says she understands where Katie is coming from. In Ariana’s interview, she says some people have a different perspective than others when it comes to their relationship with the police. Joking around like that is in poor taste. Tom says, it’s not a big deal. Katie says they can’t expect no one to react, and Schwartz tells her to shut up. She says she doesn’t think it’s funny, but Schwartz says it was a great moment. They’re laughing, and no one gives a sh*t about her opinion. Tom tells him not to talk to his wife that way.

Katie wonders if she’s the only person who associates this with something really terrible, and Ariana says she gets where Katie is coming from. Schwartz says he’s never been more turned off in his life. This is why he doesn’t have sex with her. Beau says, don’t do this, and Schwartz says he’s not looking for Beau to agree with him; she’s a moron. In Beau’s interview, he says, it’s one thing to have a drunken argument with your significant other – he’s experienced that – but the way Schwarz is talking is venom. In Katie’s interview, she says, the last time Schwartz spoke to her like that was in Mexico. We flash back to Schwartz saying her voice is a cacophony. She says, the only difference is, this time he’s being mean and degrading in front of all their friends. Schwartz walks out, calling Katie an idiot, and Tom says Schwartz is being an a-hole. Schwartz tells Katie, let’s go, but she says she’s not going with him.

Next time, Beau tells Stassi that he’s doing everything on his time, Schwartz says things are still tense, and Brett wants to hang out with Dayna.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Ian asks if there’s any chance Alex had his baby. Talk to him. She says, no, and he says he’s not judging. She says, goodbye, and starts to walk, but he calls her back. She says she doesn’t want to talk about this, and tries to go into her house, but the door is locked. She says she left her keys, but he says he has them. She asks what the hell is wrong with him? and he says she left them on the grass. She says she doesn’t want to wake her kids up; give her the keys. He says he wants answers. Can the baby be his? She says, that’s impossible; they never slept together. He asks if she really wants to do this. He knows a lawyer. Don’t make him go that route and request a DNA test. She asks why he’d do that, and he says he wants answers; that’s all. She asks if he’d really get a court order, and he says, if he has a child out there, he would. She says, no way the baby is his, and he asks how she knows. She says they only had sex once.

He says she’s admitting it, but she says she doesn’t want to talk there. He suggests they go in her house, but she says, no. She’d rather go to his. They go inside, and it’s not unlike Tom’s house on Vanderpump Rules, since he has no furniture yet. He says, so? She says, it was her, and he thanks her for being honest. She says the baby’s not his, and he says, he gets it. He doesn’t want it to be either, but they should know. Alex says she doesn’t need this now, and Ian says, him neither. He asks if she wants a drink, and she says she does. He brings out a box, and says he wants her to promise first that she’ll talk. She starts to cry, and he asks if she’s okay. She cries harder, and tells him, just find the alcohol. She doesn’t care what it is at this point.

Natalie feels bad, but Lushion says, Alex made her bed; it’s done. He looks out the window, and says, what the hell? Someone is over at Kelly’s. He’s going to check, and she tells him, be careful. He tells her to stay there, and goes outside. He sees a man holding a paper bag, and looking in Kelly’s front window. He draws his gun. He tells the guy, put his hands up and put the bag down. The guy says he lives there, but Lushion says he doesn’t. He says he’s just moving in, and Lushion says, somebody else lives there. What’s his name? The guy says, Durrell; he’s Justice’s father. Lushion asks if he’s got ID, and Durrell says it’s in his back pocket. Lushion says, slowly, and Durrell holds out his wallet. Lushion looks at the ID, and puts away his gun. He asks why Durrell is snooping around, and Durrell says his mother told him that Kelly left the key; he knows the alarm code. Lushion asks if Justice can ID him, but he says Justice doesn’t really know him. Lushion tells him, hands behind his back. Keep it easy, and they’ll clear this up. Lushion cuffs him, and says, relax; take a seat. Durrell sits on the curb, and Lushion calls Natalie, asking her to come out. He meets her halfway, and she asks, what’s going on? He says the guy says he’s Justice’s father. Does she know him? She says, no, but he looks like Justice. Lushion says, he just got out of jail, and she asks how he knows. Lushion says, slippers and a paper bag. She says Kelly did tell her that he was in jail, but Justice doesn’t know him. He asks if Kelly said anything about leaving a key, and she says Kelly did say she was worried and told him he could move in. Maybe it is him. Lushion tells her, stay there. He asks Durrell if he’s got proof he knows Kelly, and Durrell says there are pictures in his wallet. Lushion looks at them, and says, that’s a long time ago. Durrell says he’s been away a while, and Lushion unlocks the cuffs. He asks if Durrell was in jail. Durrell says, yeah, and Lushion says, yes, sounding like Judge Judy. He says he can’t let Durrell in until he finds out it’s okay. Durrell asks where he’s supposed to go tonight; he just got out, and doesn’t have money. Lushion says he can’t let Durrell in until he makes sure he’s supposed to stay there. In a couple hours it will be daylight, and he can come back. If Kelly says it’s okay, he’ll let Durrell in. If Durrell was Lushion, he’d do the same thing. Durrell picks up his bag, and says, all right. He strolls off, and Natalie says, Lushion isn’t letting him in? Lushion says he thought she was from the hood. She says she is, but she thinks it’s him. Lushion says, Kelly has been through enough. One night at a bus station won’t kill him. She says, that’s cold. She feels bad, but Lushion says he doesn’t.

Ian says Alex doesn’t want another, does she? She says she does, and he says, it’s strong, but she says she doesn’t care. He thinks she needs to lay off the liquor, but she thinks he needs to stop telling her what to do. He says she’s drunk, and she says he’s not drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says, fair enough, and they clink glasses. She says she remembered him the moment she saw him, but was hoping he wouldn’t remember. He asks, why? Because she was married? She says, it’s not that. She hates being a wife (surprising us all), but she’s not a bad person. He tells her, he didn’t say she was, and she says she doesn’t want kids. He says she has three, and she says, because she did everything her father, mother, and Brad wanted her to do. She felt trapped, so every time Brad was at work, and she was supposed to be at a PTA meeting or whatever, she met men like him. He asks, how many? and she says, a lot. Go ahead. Judge all he wants. He says he’s not; it’s fine. She says she never wanted this life. She didn’t want to be married. She wanted to be an actress. He says she’s pretty damn good, and she says she has to be now. Her father told her it was stupid, and she should get married and have babies because she had no talent and no chance. That was after he raped her every night. Ian is shocked, and she says he wanted to talk; let’s talk – about all of it. She pours herself some more, saying, she grew up with a backwoods country-ass way of thinking. Her mother actually said it was okay. He says he’s so sorry, and she says she watched her family nearly murder Black people. They hated that she went to school with them. Ian says maybe she was sleeping with Black men to get back at them, but she says, it has nothing to do with that. She thinks they’re beautiful, and loves how their skin is gorgeous and soft. He says, no more for her, and she says he’s right. No more talking about this bullsh*t; she’s done. He says she’s not doing anything stupid, and she says, why the hell should she deal with this, raising Brad’s kids. He says they’re her kids too, but she says she’s tired of all this sh*t. She’s had enough. She’s going to be free, and go do whatever she wants with whoever she want to do it with. He says when she wakes up sober, she’s going to realize she said too much. She asks why he isn’t drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says he’s buzzed, but she says, not enough; drink. She downs hers, and he moves the empty glass away. He suggests she let him take her home, but she says she doesn’t want to go right now. He says, what about her kids? and she says, they’re fine with the babysitter. He takes her hands, and she pulls him toward the kitchen island. She says, please, she wants this. It was so good; she wants to do it again. She unzips his pants, and gets on her knees. He says, no, but…

Larry gets home, bringing along another guy, and Eddie is waiting. He says, what are you ladies up to? and Larry says Eddie was there ahead of him, and knows when he left. The other guy goes inside, and Eddie asks who this one is. Larry says Eddie isn’t ready for that. Why is he there? Eddie says he wants to talk about some things. Andrew, Joe, and Pete. Larry asks if he’s been drinking, and Eddie says, more than drinking. He did some good blow tonight. Larry says he must be pretty high, and Eddie says he could say that. He saw Larry’s wife leaving; is there a problem? Larry says she goes to the country house on weekends, and he brings home the boys when she’s gone. Eddie thinks it’s sick, twisted sh*t, and Larry says, it is; they love it. Almost as much as they love each other. What does Eddie want? To come in? Eddie says, hell no, and Larry asks why Eddie is wasting his time. Eddie says he’s there to find out about those specific names, and Larry asks what he wants to know. Eddie asks if they’re with the FBI, and Larry says he doesn’t know. Eddie asks if Larry is playing games with him, and Larry says he doesn’t play games. He invites Eddie in again, but Eddie says he’s not into that kinky sh*t. Larry says Eddie is pretty sick too. It was the last reason Eddie was there, and the only reason he’s there now. He gave Eddie the privilege of taking control and making him beg. He respects that. Is Eddie ready to beg? Let him know. Eddie acts mad at the world, but what he wants is to be punished. Let Larry punish him. He’ll make him feel so bad by making him feel good. Eddie says the only reason he’s there is Esperanza and the dudes who came against him. Nothing is going to stop him. Larry says, sounds like fun, and Eddie says, keep pushing him, and see how much fun he is. Larry says he can’t wait, and goes inside.

A nurse whose name I can’t remember, tells Rick to go home. He says he wants to talk to her about Kelly. She’s back in jail, and going through a hard time. She says she’s not helping any more, and don’t tell Kelly to fake chest pains. He asks if she doesn’t talk to Sister Margaret, the chaplain. Did Margaret tell her the names of the girls? She says she’s not talking to him, and starts to walk away, but he grabs her arm. He says, they got her too, but she says she’s not talking. He gives her a piece of paper, and says, it’s Lushion’s phone number. Help them. She says that church is crazy, and they know everyone; the mayor, the garbageman, even her ex=boyfriend. She can’t tell him anything. He says she can’t let Kelly go down, but she says she doesn’t know Kelly, and Kelly shot him. Rick says she doesn’t know what he did to Kelly, and she says not to use her name. He says, fine, coward, and she says, call her whatever he wants. She’s not messing with that church. On second thought, if he takes her out and buys her some drinks, maybe she’ll talk. He tells her, bring her dancing shoes and a nice dress.

Margaret visits Kelly, but Kelly says she doesn’t want to talk to her. Margaret says she wants to say a prayer, and the guard lets her in. Kelly tells her, get away from her cell. The guard leaves, and Kelly calls him back, but he ignores her. Margaret tells Kelly, come sit, but Kelly says she won’t. Margaret says, before the guard comes back, and Kelly sits. She asks what Margaret wants, and Margaret says she’s helping Kelly; praying for her. Kelly laughs, and Margaret hands her a Bible, telling her, read this. It’s her gift to Kelly. Margaret calls to the guard, and Kelly says she knew Margaret didn’t want to pray; hypocrites. Margaret tells her, open the bible, and she does. Kelly flips through it, and takes out several pictures. She looks on the backs of them, and Margaret says, God bless you. Wrong is wrong, and she is praying. Kelly thanks her, and hugs her. Margaret says, she’s going to be all right, and when she is, don’t look back. It’s time for Kelly to get back to church. Get back to praying and believing again. She’s stronger than all this. Stop being sorry for herself and being a victim. Take it by force. The kingdom suffers violence, and the violent take it by force (Matthew 11:12). Kelly says she hears her, and Margaret says, good. God bless her.

Tanya and husband Bennett watch TV. Tanya asks Bennett why he keeps looking out. (Refresher: Bennett trashed Randall’s house at the end of last season.) She says, stop looking at him. He’s looked enough at her already. Bennett says he’ll tell Randall to stop, but she says he’s not going to. She already told him to stop. Bennett says he can make Randall stop, and she asks, how? He says he just will, and she says, like in the last neighborhood? He tore that man’s house apart. He says they were talking about her, and she says he can’t get mad. She gives them enough to talk about. He tells her, don’t worry. Randall won’t bother her again, but she says he’s not the kind that will stop. Bennett says, he will, and she says she’s going to bed. He tells her that he’s staying up a little. He promises Randall won’t bother her. He looks out the window.

Steven and Esperanza cuddle on the couch. He says, it’s her night, and she says, after they watched his movie. He asks if she wants him to stay because of Eddie, or because she wants him to stay. She asks if she looks afraid. He says he’ll stay every night, or he can be out sleeping in his car. She says that would defeat the purpose, and he says he can sleep on the couch. She tells him, read between the lines. She wants him to stay in her bed, naked. He says, as good as it sounds, he doesn’t want her kicking him out in an hour. She says he’s living in the past. She wants to spend time together, and not worry about what happened before. He says, what about her daughter? and she says she’s been thinking about that. The best thing is for her to bring her daughter to her mom’s until this thing with Eddie is over. Does he want drive up there to Columbus? He says they’ve got themselves a road trip, and they kiss. He gets a text, and she makes him give her the phone. She reads, what’s up, stud? and asks who Anna is. He asks if she’s jealous, and she says, a little bit, and deletes Anna’s number because she doesn’t like her name. He says he doesn’t think his sister is going to like that. She wants him to call his sister, and he says, no. He’s sleepy, and they’re not exclusive. They’re just enjoying each other very much. They get busy.

Randall calls Marcie, who answers, yes? He asks if that’s all she’s got to say. She destroyed his house. She asks what he’s talking about, and he asks if she got Brad to do it. She says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. She only picked up because she likes to taunt him. He says she did more than that, and she says he’s talking crazy. He tells her, don’t hang up, but she says, bye. A car parks in front of Randall, and Brad gets out and goes inside.

Brad asks if Marcie is okay. She says she is, but Randall keeps calling. He asks why she keeps answering, and she says she likes to taunt him. He says she shouldn’t do that. He asks if Randall has been there, and she says, no; why would he be? Brad says, someone destroyed Randall’s house, but she says she doesn’t know what happened. He tells her that Alex signed the divorce papers. That means he can officially pursue her. He kisses her, and she says she hasn’t seen his full court press. She tells him, she’s starving, and he says he’ll make something. He gets up, but his phone rings. He says it’s Chelsea, his babysitter, and he asks, what’s going on? Chelsea says his wife was supposed to be back hours ago, and she has to leave. She tried calling, but Alex isn’t answering. He asks if the kids and baby are asleep, and she tells him they are. He says he’ll be right over. He tells Marcie that Alex still isn’t home, and she says Alex is probably trying to trick him, but he says she knows better than that. She asks if he’s going, and he says he has to. Otherwise, the kids will be there by themselves. She tells him to try Alex again, but he gets voicemail, and hangs up. Marcie tells him to try from the landline, but he still gets voicemail. Marcie calls and leaves a message that Alex’s kids are looking for her. Where the hell are you, bitch? Brad says, she’s not helping, and Marcie thinks Alex knows they’re together. He tells her to relax; it’s about his kids. She apologizes for making it about her, and he leaves. She says, bitch.

Randall sees Brad leave. Marcie says she hopes the bitch is dead, and calls Alex. She says Alex thinks she’s going to win this thing by dragging Brad out in the middle of the night, but it’s not going to work, ho. She hangs up, but decides to fill up Alex’s damn voicemail. Randall watches as Brad pulls away. He gets out of the car, and goes in the side door. He knocks, and Marcie asks if Brad forgot his key. Randall busts in, and grabs Marcie.

Next time, Esperanza finds Eddie in bed with her and Steven; Kelly tells Lushion the Bible had pictures of women and information on settlements in it; and Lushion and Brad go to Ian’s house looking for Alex.

😥 Sniff…

It looks like this will be the final season of If Loving You is Wrong. After we waited a year. It’s like Game of Thrones all over again.


🏥 Scheduling Details…

The skinny on how GH is handling this new normal.


🧼 On a High…

More than one kind of soap seems to be popular these days.


📯 FYI, Andy Cohen is apparently none the worse for the wear, and back at work, doing Watch What Happens Live from his home office.

😴 Good Thing I Don’t Need Sleep…

Oh, wait… Stay safe out there.

March 29, 2020 – Alpha Haunts Carol, a Comparison, Dead On Hold, Doing Well, Pink’s Cut, Jill’s Secret, Fiona Fun & Beta’s Song


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


The Walking Dead

Negan sits in his cell in Alexandria. The cell door opens, and he says, as he lives and breathes. It’s Carol, and he says he thought Gabriel was coming down to give him last rights. She asks if he wants forgiveness, but he says he’s done what he’s done, and he’s not getting on his knees. She asks what he wants, and he says, TiVo, a beer, and some rocky road ice cream. What does it matter to her? She says, what if he didn’t have to die? and he says he didn’t know she had a say on the kangaroo council. She says she’s not there for the council, and he says he’s getting that. What he doesn’t get is, why she’s dealing with him instead of lining up the skin queen in her crosshairs? She asks what he thinks this is, and he smiles. He says, damn. Word has it, she’s certainly a badass, but she missed her shot. What happens if he muffs it? It will make things worse for everyone, and despite what people think, he’s not down with that. Carol says they need this done; it will help everyone there. He asks what he gets out of it, and she says he’s been eating whatever sh*t they throw his way, hoping they forget. They won’t. Not unless he does something to make them forget. Bring her Alpha’s head, and that’s what people will remember him for. She’ll make sure of it. He has her word, but do it fast.

Carol puts Alpha’s head on a pike, and steps back to admire her work. Negan says, it’s what she wanted. Alpha’s mouth continues to move, making zombie gurgles, and Negan suggests they get moving. It was their deal; start spreading the news. She asks, what took him so long? and he says, doing her dirty work? He guesses he wanted get out with his head attached. Sh*t like that takes time. He’s held up his end, and he’s asking her to hold up hers. He wants to open a new chapter in the Book of Negan. She says they’re not going back; not yet. He says he can’t go back alone without a noose immediately being tied around his neck, and she says, then wait. She starts to walk, and he asks how long she’s taking. She says he’s free. Now he can do whatever he wants. Wait or don’t; it’s up to him. She says she needs to be alone. Sh*t like that takes time.

Dianne tells Ezekiel that he did good, but he says he got lucky. It doesn’t absolve his failings. Jerry tells him to take it easy on himself, but Ezekiel says, these days mistakes stick easier than trials. He and Jerry hug Magna, and Ezekiel says he’s so sorry. She says she’s okay.

Rosita checks out her wound, and Eugene asks how she feels. She says, all right, and he says they can bring her to see Alex when they find him. She says they don’t have to. He has to go; tell them already. Eugene stands up, and gets everyone’s attention. He says he has something he needs to confess. He’s been communicado on the radio with someone outside of their orbit; a new person. They’ve set up a time to meet. Yumiko asks who it is, and he says, her name is Stephanie. She’s from another community. Jerry asks what it is, and Dianne says, he’s meeting her? Magna says, she could be a spy, and Yumiko asks how long Eugene has been talking to her. Ezekiel says he has some of the same questions, but if Eugene’s instincts are that Stephanie is a new ally, they should hear him out before they jump to conclusions. They’re all on the same side. Eugene says some of them are aware that he relocated to Hilltop to make a metaphorically fresh start. He struggled, burying himself in work and community duties, and the voice in the void became a friend. Some might think he’s foolish, but spare him their derision. After what just happened, he’s willing to be a fool, and believes new good people are worth the risk.

Magna sits outside, and Yumiko joins her. Yumiko says, Magna can and should take her horse and go with them. She’s never wanted to be cooped up. She can go back out on road, and have an adventure. Look forward, not back. Magna says she likes it there. Some routine might be good for her. Someone else can have an adventure and meet new people. It’s okay. Yumiko says she’d be leaving at the worst time, but Magna says, there’s nothing to fix. Go. Yumiko leaves.

Ezekiel gets his horse ready, and Jerry asks if he’s really going. Ezekiel says he is, but Jerry doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Ezekiel says, because he’s sick? Jerry says, because he’ll miss Ezekiel. He can’t stop a man willing to be foolish. Ezekiel says, or a fool willing to believe in future friends. It’s enough for now. He tells Jerry, the Kingdom needs him. Make sure the legacy lives on. Jerry says he’s got it, and they hug.

Alpha’s head moves its mouth as Beta approaches with two Whisperers. One says, he’s the Alpha now, and Beta tells him that Alpha can hear him. Take off his mask (that’s never good), and hear her. He tells the guy to move forward, and asks if he’s listening. What is she saying to him? Beta he pushes him closer, and says, just listen. He pushes the guy’s head near Alpha’s mouth, and she bites his ear, pulling it off. The other guy takes off, as we all would. Beta says, just listen, and I wonder how he’s going to do that with no ear. Beta shoves him aside, and takes down Alpha’s head, cradling it in his arms.

Negan goes to the cabin where Lydia was being held. He sees she’s gone, and says, sh*t. Daryl puts a crossbow in Negan’s face, and asks where Alpha is. Negan says, she’s dead; he killed her. Daryl calls him a liar, but he says he’s not lying. He has something in his pocket; it’s not a weapon. He’s going to do a slow reach. He pulls Alpha’s mask out of his pocket, and shows Daryl. He says the whole reason he threw in with them was to get close enough to slit Alpha’s throat, and silence Alpha. Why else does Daryl think his girlfriend let him out of his cell?

Carol walks through the woods, and hears her name being whispered. She hears it more clearly, and turns to see Alpha. Alpha says she’s always watching.

Beta strolls along with the Whisperer bitten by Alpha, who starts coughing. A zombie comes by, and the guy moves to kill it, but Beta shoves him down. The zombie descends on the guy, and finishes him off. Beta listens to Alpha’s head, that he’s now carrying in a bag. He hears a noise, and moves toward it.

Beta goes inside a hotel, and shoves things aside, even though he doesn’t need to. He puts Alpha’s head down, and picks up a note. He reads, these 2 eyes see 1 truth. He sees a gun on the floor, and looks up at a poster for the band Half Moon. He rips it down, and smashes a nearby guitar.

Alpha tells Carol, she’s lost. So was her boy. She sent him away, and he never came back. He died out there, alone and afraid, just like Sophia. She respects what Carol did. Negan drew the blade, but Carol ended her, like a true Alpha. Carol says, stop it, and Alpha asks if she regrets it. Carol says she doesn’t, and Alpha says people were hurt in the name of vengeance, and now she can’t go back. They don’t accept what she’s done, but maybe they would if she says she’s sorry. Sorry you’re mad; please don’t be mad at me. She tried being on her own before, but they always pull her back. She’s always wanting more; love, motherhood, death. They don’t know what she truly wants. Admit it. What does she want? Say it. A zombie pops out of a tree, and Carol spears it through the throat and into the head. She says she wants to be alone, but Alpha says, that’s not it.

Eugene, Ezekiel, and Yumiko head out on horses. Ezekiel wonders if the new community will be handy, and Yumiko asks what Eugene thinks about that. He says his mother was a pistol, but he remembered something kind she’d done. She used to get him chocolate bunnies at Easter. Biting their heads off made him upset, but he associates it with family.  Yumiko says, please don’t tell her that they’re on this journey for chocolate bunnies. Eugene says he’s on the journey for the future hope of mankind, but candy would be nice. He asks if Ezekiel is okay, and Ezekiel says he’s not the best audience at the moment. They ride past a cage with two zombies in it, and Yumiko wonders if it’s a trap. Eugene doesn’t think that’s the modus operandi, but Ezekiel says, they’re not alone. Who would do this? Yumiko suggests they take the time to investigate in case it’s a warning.

Off by himself, Ezekiel gets off his horse. He sees some wandering zombies, and kills them. He coughs and stumbles, as another one comes closer, but he manages to stab it. He sits on a fallen tree. Yumiko says, all clear, and calls to him. He says he’s coming. All clear here.

Negan, his hands bound behind his back, walks in front of Daryl. He says, this follow-the-leader routine is like déjà vu. It’s the same way it went down with Alpha. He tells Daryl to get pissed at his gal pal for not letting him in on the plan. He’s pissed too. The lone wolf isn’t thinking of the pack. Daryl says the children at Hilltop almost died because of Negan. Although I’m not sure how Daryl came to that conclusion.

Beta looks at a record album, Half Moon Live in Concert. He puts on a turntable, and I try not to think about why the turntable works when there’s no electricity, and any batteries in it would have leaked or gone dead by now. The music draws zombies to the hotel.

Carol goes to the cabin, and Alpha says, this is her plan? and calls Carol brainless. She had no peace on the ocean, thinking about Alpha, and wondering where they’re going to land, and looking for sign. Give it up. If Alpha knows the truth, so does she. Hear her. Carol gets up on a stepladder, and fiddles with something on the ceiling, but the whole thing caves in, and she falls, the ceiling and everything surrounding her falling on top of her. Alpha says, she’s stupid too.

Negan leads Daryl to where Alpha’s head was, and tells Daryl, it was right here, on this spike. They can wait there for Carol. Daryl says take him to Lydia, but Negan asks what he’s talking about. Why would he stash her out there unless it was to keep her safe? He used her as bait to get Alpha alone. What’s wrong? He didn’t do it fast enough? It took a minute; he had to get her trust. He wasn’t going off half-cocked on a suicide mission. Daryl says, it was because Negan liked it. They hear the sound of a gun cocking, and some Whisperers step out of the woods, one of them holding a shotgun. Daryl drops his crossbow, and one of them says, Alpha is dead because of Negan. Kneel to the new Alpha. They kneel, and Negan laughs.

The music plays, while zombies gather. Beta stands above them, on the balcony, his arms outstretched. He smiles, something we’ve never seen, and pulls half of his mask off.

Negan tells Daryl, sorry. He’s savoring the moment. Daryl’s wrists are now tied, while Negan is free, and Negan says he’s taking his sweet-ass time. All right, fellas, down to business. Wait one damn minute. He’s the Alpha, right? He’s a bit confused. If he’s the Alpha, why is someone who’s not the Alpha holding the badass shotgun? The Whisperer holding the gun gives it to Negan, who says, that’s what he’s talking about. It feels good. He’s never had a kid of his own, but if he did, he imagines this is what it’s like holding your baby for the first time. But it turns out his baby can kill people by spitting bullets at them. He wants Daryl to kneel to the Alpha, and the Whisperers try to push Daryl down, but he shrugs them off and kneels. Negan says, it’s starting to get real now, ain’t it? Daryl was right when he said Negan liked it. In fact – he points the gun at Daryl – he likes it a lot. Daryl says Negan should probably shoot him, and Negan says, don’t threaten him with a good time. Negan shoots two Whisperers, and stabs the other in the head. When they’re down, Daryl tells Negan, untie me, a-hole, and Negan laughs.

Ezekiel, Eugen, and Yumiko sit by a fire, when Ezekiel’s horse suddenly whinnies and keels over. I had to look away here – that’s right, I can watch a million people get their heads stomped, but I cannot bear for an animal to be hurt. Ezekiel tells his horse, it’s not going to hurt anymore, and puts the horse out of its misery. Yumiko tells him that she’s sorry, and he says he shouldn’t have come. She asks, why? and he says, if he falls, they have to promise to leave him behind. His horse wasn’t strong enough to make the journey. Maybe he’s not either. He’s okay with that, but not with putting them at risk. Yumiko asks if he wants to turn back because of what might happen, and he says, it’s for the best. She says they don’t know what lies ahead; no one does. She had all these plans for her life, and for what? She’s here to find out what’s possible. None of them can predict or imagine what’s ahead, but she knows who they need with them. A man who built a kingdom.

Carol lies under the rubble, as a zombie pulls itself out of the creek nearby. Alpha says, her mom used to say, everything works out the way it’s supposed to, and Carol tells her, shut up already. The zombie crawls toward what’s left of the cabin, and Alpha says, this way, friend. Is Carol ready for them, and to see how this ends? No one is coming to save her. Not Ezekiel, and certainly not Daryl. Not after what she did to Connie. The zombie, who’s pretty well deteriorated, starts pushing through the slats in the wall. Alpha says, no matter what Carol does, she loses people. If she goes back, Daryl could be next. Carol says she won’t let that happen. She knows what she has to do. Alpha says, it could have been anyone, but they chose her. She gets the job done. Carol struggles, and Alpha tells her, look at the flowers like she’s supposed to. One…two… The zombie pushes through, but Carol pulls herself out, takes out her knife, and stabs it in the head. She collapses, and Alpha is gone.

Ezekiel now rides behind Yumiko. They ride down a highway, seeing a city in the distance.

Negan drinks from a canteen, and passes it to Daryl. They sit side by side, each facing a different way. Negan says, not to be a spinning record, but he doesn’t think Carol is coming back. He’s not bullsh*tting Daryl. Daryl says he knows, and Negan tells him, when he said he liked it, that wasn’t part of the act. Daryl says he knows. Negan says, when Daryl’s people locked him up, he lost everything. He spent seven years staring out that little window. It sucked so bad, even his memories have bars painted on them. When Alpha took him in, he admits he liked it. It was nice, feeling like he mattered again, and being respected, but she took it too far. You don’t kill people who don’t deserve it, and you never kill kids. Daryl asks if that’s supposed to make him like Negan, and Negan says, no. Daryl says, good, and Negan asks, what about his winning personality? Daryl gets up, and starts to walk. Negan asks, what about Carol? and follows.

Carol walks to the gate, and Daryl opens it. She walks in, and neither one of them says anything. Daryl closes the gate.

Eugene, Yumiko, and Ezekiel ride into the city. They go past a store, where a zombie in costume is tied to a rocker. The look into a café, where two zombies sit with martinis. Another sits on a delivery cart. It’s like a weird Disney ride, with zombies in various tableaus. They look around, and find one in a car, handcuffed to the steering wheel, while a police zombie is about to give them a ticket. Ezekiel starts to laugh and point. He laughs so hard, he has to wipe tears from his eyes. They see a pile of bones on the ground, wearing a boa, and a voice says, oh my God! Hi! A woman, also wearing a boa, and dressed sort of like Madonna, circa the late 80s, stands in front of them, holding an automatic weapon. (For those who are familiar with the comics, it’s Princess.)

Beta takes out the note, and says, someday we’ll rise. He takes Alpha’s head out of the bag, and says, thank you. He sees now, like she does. He puts a knife through Alpha’s head, and sits nose to nose with her for a moment. Zombies clamor at the hotel door.

Beta opens the hotel door, and walks out. He walks through the crowd of zombies, and they follow him as he walks down the street.

Next time – the last episode before the finale – Alpha says we walk, Judith and Daryl run from zombies, and Aaron and Alden hide to watch Beta.

🐭 On Talking Dead: Home Edition, comedian Ron Funches thought the zombie tableaus were like the ones at Chuck E. Cheese, but not as frightening. I couldn’t agree more.

⚰️ Postponing Dead…

News about the finale.


👍🏼 They’re Fine…

While I’m by no means downplaying the seriousness of the current world situation, there is good news that most of those who aren’t in a high risk group only experience mild to moderate symptoms.



✂️ Celebrities; They’re Just Like Us…

I’ve never given myself a haircut while drunk, but when I had my first apartment, I did let my next door neighbor cut my hair when we’d been drinking. It wasn’t awful. And it grew out.


🗽 You Still Don’t Get Your Apple Back…

That Jill Zarin. Always full of surprises.


🦛 Something Fun…

While housebound, you can find loads of fun, free things on the internet. Museum and city tours, concerts, Doug the Pug’s workout on Instagram, and Fiona!


🎼 Helping Ryan Rock…

The Half Moon song Beta listened to tonight was written by Emily Kinney who played Beth many seasons ago.

Stay safe out there.

Beta’s Half Moon Song on ‘The Walking Dead’: Full Video & Lyrics

March 22, 2020 – Michonne Returns Only To Leave, a Quote Extracted, an Exit, Talking Contained, Westworld Reviewed, Soap News, Denise Shares & Not Once


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


The Walking Dead

Michonne walks through the woods with two chained, armless, mouthless zombie buddies. She whacks a non-buddy and picks up some bullets from the ground. She sees Andrea running through the woods, with some zombies following her. Andrea hits one in the head with a rock, and stabs another, but she falls. She tries to scramble away from a third, as Michonne watches and does nothing, then turns away.

Michonne unlocks the chains binding Virgil to the boat. He says she could have done that five hours ago, but she asks why would she? They walk through the trees to a field, and she says she needs to get back. Virgil picks some flower blossoms, and says he can’t show up empty handed. His wife wouldn’t like it. He explains that he’s picking herbs. They’re good for everything; pain, nerves, and sleep. Michonne asks where the munition depot is, and he says, the old lab has structural damage. It’s best to stay away. They walk to a building where a sign says restricted area. Virgil tells her that his little boy seems to think a sailor left buried treasure in one of the grain silos. It’s hard to keep him from going inside. He’s just like his mom; when he decides to do something, there’s nothing you can do to stop him. Michonne whips around with her katana, and tells him, stop the bullsh*t. Where the hell is his family? He says he told her that he was coming home to his family, and he meant it.

Virgil stops in front of three open graves. He says he promised his wife when they got married, he’d bring her flowers every day. Michonne says he waited until now to tell her? and he says, the words don’t come easy, and neither does trust. He promised to help her, and he will. The island isn’t clear. It was until the others came and brought violence. The sickness came with it, and killed his family. He never got good at doing what she does. She’s good with a sword. She wonders what he’s asking, and he says his family is still in there; his wife and his babies. That’s why he asked her to come. He needed her to come.

They approach a building, where a zombie waits just inside the door. Michonne busts in, kills the zombie, and walks forward. Virgil closes the door behind them. A zombie is stuck inside a hallway that’s been partially blocked by a refrigerator. Michonne pierces it’s head, and kills it. Virgil drags it out of the way, as Michonne opens the next door. On his way back, Virgil knocks over some stacked furniture, and blocks the passage. He says, sorry, which hardly seems adequate. A small crowd of zombies is gathered in a room further on. The door is locked, and Michonne tells Virgil, stay close, and thunders in, rushing the zombies, holding a cot in front of her. There are about ten to fifteen of them, and she gives Virgil the cot, telling him to get behind it. She stabs and slashes, slicing off the tops of two zombies’ heads. Virgil is pushed back, and blocks himself in. Wow. Michonne is fast. The zombies all down, Virgil thanks her.

She opens the door to yet one more room. Zombies hang from ceiling, still moving. Virgil looks around, and sees a woman’s shoe. He picks it up, and gently puts it back on a zombie’s foot. This is depressing, and I wonder where Negan is when I need him.

As they walk past some chairs and stacks of books, Virgil says he wanted give them something his daughter loved to take with them, and she loved that book. Michonne says she knows how hard it is, but she’s sorry. She’s got to get back. He says he had a hard time, and his wife talked him through it. Without her, he doesn’t know who he is. She says, it’s not too late to find out. He thanks her again, and she tells him to show her what she came for, so she can go. He says, it’s late. The tide is low, and he’s not sure the boat will go through the channel. He suggests she stay night, and not risk it. They’ll need to hole up. She says she kept her end of the bargain; he needs to keep his. He says, it’s getting dark. Some of the buildings aren’t safe. They can do it in the morning. She says, first thing.

Michonne tries her radio, but gets nothing. She walks to another building, and shines her flashlight around. She sees wooden crates, and looks inside them, but none of them have guns. She sees a group of cages with dead rats in them, some just skeletons. She quietly walks through into another room, and hears a voice say, everyone be quiet. Virgil shuts her inside, and tells her, wait until morning; it’s not safe. He trusted her, and now she ruined it. She tells him, open the damn door, but he walks away.

Michonne bangs on the door to no avail. She sits, sword at the ready. A faucet drips, and she says, sh*t. She sees a food tray, and bangs on the door again. She hears someone say, calm down. They’ve been trying to talk to her. She asks how long she’s been in there, and a man’s voice says, a day maybe. We see two men and a woman in the next room. She asks why they didn’t answer when she was calling out, and the man says, Virgil blows up. He gets in a mood. The woman says, when he’s angry, it’s best to be quiet. The man says, don’t bother to try to escape; it’s boobytrapped. Virgil comes there as little as possible; he doesn’t like to see them. They were researchers together. They wrote papers, and had a life there. Michonne says, they knew each other? and he says, they were friends. She asks, what went wrong? and the woman says, stragglers came by boat, and they took them all in. One night, the food supply ran low, and a fight broke out over rations when Virgil was late. A stranger pulled a knife, and was killed. When Virgil came back, he panicked, and locked all the doors. But he didn’t know… Michonne says, what? and the woman says, his wife and kids were inside. He snapped. The man says, he was never the same, and the woman says they’ve been there ever since. The man asks if Michonne is okay, and she says she will be. She’s not staying there long. The man says she can’t kill if she doesn’t have the strength, and suggests she eat. He asks her name. Michonne bites into an apple, and says, Michonne. Virgil looks in, and says he’s glad she ate. She tells him, open the damn door, but he says he can’t do that. She says, why the hell not? and he says she’ll kill him. She says, we reap what we sow, a-hole, and he says he doesn’t want to fight. Michonne feels weird, and starts to hallucinate. Virgil says, Violet has a gift. It can help Michonne the way it helped him. She sees a woman, but then the woman disappears. She asks what Virgil did.

The room spins, and she asks, what did he do? He says, it makes a nice tea. He wants her to see. She’s in pain, like he is. She needs peace, like he does. She realizes he’s drugged her, and Michonne says she doesn’t drug people and toss them in a cell. He needs to hear her. Think about his daughter and son. He tells her that he said that too; no one listened. Everything he did was to protect his family. She laughs, and says she’s sure they’re proud of him now. He says, she’s no angel. She falls onto her side, and he says, picture the sun. She sees Siddiq, and he says she was supposed to protect them. She says she did her best, and he says she let him die. This is how it feels to be her family. She touches him, and sees blood on her hands. When she looks at him again, he’s a zombie. She yells, make it stop! The faucet continues to drip, and she gets up. Virgil tells her, stop fighting it. Suddenly, there are chains around her wrists, and she’s pulled forward.

In the woods, Michonne relives seeing Andrea crawling away from the zombie, and turns away. She goes back to Andrea’s body, and takes Andrea’s knife, wiping the blood off it. She also takes Andrea’s canteen. She goes to the road, where a car is going past. She tries to flag it down, but they keep going. The car slows, and stops. Daryl gets out, gets something from the trunk. Although Michonne yells for help, Daryl ignores her, and says, come on; let’s go. The car takes off, and Michonne runs after it. She goes back into the woods, and kills a zombie. Negan comes toward her, along with a few other people, and says, look what we have here. She takes a swing at him with her sword, but misses, and he knocks her down with Lucille. He says, this chick has cajones. She says she doesn’t want trouble, and he says she shouldn’t take a swing at him then. He picks up her sword, and says he’s not much on saving people on the road, especially those who try to take his head off, but he likes her and her massive lady nuts. Besides, it would be a waste for her to have a nice sword without the strength to use it. A woman tosses her an apple, and he says, the name’s Negan.   

Glenn comes into the room where Michonne is, and suddenly, she’s back at the Sanctuary with Rick and the Alexandrians (good name for a group!), who are shooting the place up. She shoots Glenn and Heath. Negan whistles, and we’re back to when Negan had them all on their knees in the woods, and he’s choosing who he’s going to kill. He points Lucille at each one, saying, eenie, meenie, miney, mo. He stops in front of Daryl, then says, just kidding, a-hole. He was going to do the next part himself, but his right hand gal Michonne is on a wicked-ass tear these days. Who the hell is he to stand in her way? He takes her sword, and holds it in one hand and the Lucille in the other. She chooses Lucille. She says, the Alexandrians didn’t know who they were or where they were from. They didn’t know sh*t about them, but they came in the dead of night and slaughtered them anyway. She faces Rick, and says, like a coward. Remember. They  did this. What happens next – she points the bat – is their fault. Welcome to the new world. She swings. Well, I hate to say it, but point well made.

Michonne is running through the woods, and is shot with an arrow. She drops to her knees, and Daryl walks over and kicks her down. She grabs for her sword, but he steps on her hand. Rick cocks his gun, and shoots.

Michonne throws up into a bucket. Virgil asks if she feels better. He says she will, and gives her some water. She stabs him with a fork. They struggle, but he takes off, and she follows. The woman in the next room calls to Michonne not to leave them. Michonne runs out of the building, and the people run out behind her. They run to the shore, but the boat is on fire. Well, that sucks.

They run through woods, and Michonne knocks Virgil down. Virgil says he wanted help. He wanted to let them go, but he wanted her to be there, so they wouldn’t kill him. Then he knew she’d kill him too. He’s sorry. One of the men says, sorry doesn’t cut it. Virgil says his wife always did the right thing. When she was gone, he didn’t know what to do. The guy tells Michonne that she has as much reason to kill the a-hole as they do. She says, she does, and he says, do it, or move. She says, look at him. He owes them more than can ever make right. In taking his life, they loose more of themselves. Their mercy gives them something; they get something. The woman asks, what? and she says, peace. They mull this over, and one of the guys slugs Virgil.

Now Virgil is in a locked a room. He sits up, and Michonne says, there’s nothing there. She checked every building, even the ones he said had structural damage. There’s not a goddam thing. He says he never lied about the weapons. He never saw them, but told her that he could show her the spots. She says he’s got to do better, but he says, sorry; he can’t. Sometimes he finds a stray shell; nothing more. She says she’s not going back empty handed. He tells her to take what she wants, and clear his debt with Oceanside. She took the risk. She says she had no choice. She had to find out. There’s no tea, so don’t even ask. She asks what he sees when he’s tripping anyway. He says, Violet with her damn camera pointed at everyone. His babies, and daughter sitting by the fire with that damn book, asking questions about a world she’d never know. Him and his son looking at stars; at heaven. He wanted, hoped, that she would see that too. She says he took her family from her, and she saw hell. He says he’s sorry. The only world he ever wanted, was the one they were in. He doesn’t know how to do without them. She says, he tries, like the rest of them. Now how about if he tries to find her stuff?

They look around, Michonne carrying the flashlight. She sees a pair of boots. She looks them over, and cries. She grabs Virgil, and asks where the hell did he get these?

There’s a large ship right off the shore. Inside, Michonne pushes Virgil into the captain’s quarters, and he says the boots washed up. He doesn’t know where they came from. She looks through the captain’s log, and whatever papers are there. She sees a dead cell phone, and realizes there’s a picture of herself and Judith etched into the glass, along with Rick and some figures. Virgil says, holy sh*t; it’s her and the kid? She says he knew. He came to find them at Oceanside. He asks why he’d do that, and she says, because of this. He says he’s never seen it, and she asks what it’s doing there. He says how would he know? and she says he knew the boat was there. He says, the world ended, boats wash up. She grabs him, and says he knew there were no munitions. He was setting a trap, and laid a trap for him. What did Virgil do to him? Virgil asks who she’s talking about, and she presses her sword lengthwise against his throat. She slowly releases him, and looks at the phone. He says he doesn’t know what she thinks he has, or who she’s looking for, but maybe it wasn’t an accident that they met. If the others help, he thinks he can get the engine working again. If the person was on this boat, maybe she can find him again.

Next to the road, Michonne caresses Rick’s boots. Virgil pulls a wagon, and the three people take their stuff from it. She says, it’s going to take some time, and Virgil says they’re out of time. She says they’re willing to let him come. There’s only one boat left. Either he leaves now, or doesn’t leave. He says, after everything, he can’t believe they’d want him to come, and she says, sometimes the most injured are the most forgiving. They’re good people. They’re giving him a chance; a way off the island. He says he promised her flowers every day.

The boat moves off. Michonne looks at Virgil, standing on shore.

Michonne cries as she looks at the phone. She takes out her radio, and says, Jojo, are you there? It’s Danto. Anyone? There’s dead air for a moment, and then crackling. Judith says she’s there. She’s been trying to get Michonne. Michonne says she’s sorry; she’s here now. Judith asks if she’s still with Virgil, and Michonne says, no, but she found three people she’s bringing back. She missed Judith and her brother so much. RJ says, mama? and she says, hey baby, and tells him to talk in code for safety. She asks how he is, and says she loves her little brave man. She asks Judith how she’s doing, and Judith guesses okay; better now. Michonne asks, how’s home? Anything with the Whisperers? Judith says they got them. Alpha can’t hurt them anymore. Michonne cries, and says she found something. It’s something really important to all of them. Judith asks, what does she mean? and Michonne says she found something that belonged to the brave man. It points to where he might have been recently. She doesn’t know what it means, or if means anything at all. Judith asks if he’s alive, but Michonne doesn’t know. Judith says if Michonne thinks he’s alive, she’s got to find him. Michonne says, not now. Judith and her brother need her with everything that’s going on in Alexandria. Judith says Michonne has to go. She has to. They’re okay. What if he needs her more? What if he’s trying come home and no one will help? Michonne says, if she goes, and Judith interrupts, saying, when she goes. Michonne says when she goes and finds the brave man… One of the men says, they’re at the coast, and Michonne says she has to go. Judith says, she knows. Listen to Uncle Daryl. Michonne says she’s going to try. She’s heading north. She’ll call every morning for as long as she can. Judith says she’ll take the walkie with her everywhere. Michonne says she loves Judith and her brother so much. Judith says they love her too. Go get him. Over and out. Michonne heaves a huge sigh.

Michonne cuts the arms and mouths off two zombies, and ties them to her. She walks through the woods, and sees a man and woman, stumbling through an overgrown field. They ask if she can help; they’ll leave without them. She asks, who? and looks out over the cliff, seeing a crowd of people forming a square. The woman says, please. They won’t wait.

Michonne remembers how Rick let her into the prison. The man asks who she is, and she swipes her sword across the necks of her zombie buddies, slicing their heads off. The couple is afraid as she comes toward them, but she holds out her hand, saying, come on, and helps them up.

The camera pans out to show several blocks of people in formation in the distance.

Next time, Alpha’s head on a pike, Negan tells Carol to hold up her end of the bargain, carol says she’s not coming back, Eugene is willing to be the fool, and Beta gathers the Whisperers.

⭐️ Best quote of the night: Sometimes the most injured are the most forgiving.

👋🏾 Exit Stage Left…

Scott Gimple explains.


What’s next.


⚰️ A Very Special Episode…

You can’t keep a good Talking Dead down.


🐎 Den of Geek Tells All…

Reviews of Westworld’s first two episodes.



🧼 A Little Bit Of Soap…

Daytime Emmys canceled.


The shut down.


Poor Nelle.


🍾 Crossing Over…

Denise Richards gives a peek at RHOBH.


🥱 I Don’t Know How It Happened…

Once again, I find it’s so late, it’s early, so I leave you with this.


March 15, 2020 – I Have No Words, the New West, a Big Slip, Kenya Goes To Greece & Wild


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


The Walking Dead

I made a lot of noises during this show. Be prepared for, what?!

Hilltop burns. Carol shoots arrows at the horde like it’s going to help. Some of the zombies are on fire, but continue to move forward. Daryl slices the top of one’s head off. It’s chaos. The Hilltoppers stab and slice, whack and stomp, but they’re way outnumbered. Mary tells Lydia that she can’t go back out, but Lydia says she’ll never walk with Alpha again. Ezekiel grabs the kids, and starts to run, but Judith is missing. Earl finds Judith about to stab a Whisperer (sans mask) who’s on his last legs anyway, and he grabs her, saying they’ve got to get to a safe place. Zombies crowd the gate. Eugene runs toward Hilltop, and Rosita runs after him. I say, this is hopeless. A zombie pile-up slows the horde, and Eugene and Daryl get medieval on the zombies.

Yumiko gets ready to shoot an arrow, and sees Magna walking with the horde. She’s covered in blood and guts to blend in. Yumiko lowers her bow. Carol watches as everything around her fall apart.

Negan, now wearing a mask, walks through a field, and whacks a zombie. Alpha says that was one of them, and he says, his bad. She says they have to gather and replenish, and he asks if she doesn’t want to savor the victory, but she says, it’s not victory. She doesn’t have everything she want. He says, Lydia, and Beta tells him, it’s not his concern. Negan says he’s seen her, but not among the dead. He won’t stop until he brings Lydia home to Alpha. Beta blocks his path, and Negan says he’s at Beta’s service. Beta tells him to gather, and Negan says Beta wants him to herd walkers? Beta walks away, and Negan says, he’s such a d*ck.

Negan sees zombies toddling around in the woods. He goes near one, and it walks past him. He’s obviously relieved, but the zombie doubles back, and he’s like, WTF? He says, screw this, and whacks the zombie with his bat, and laughs. He sees someone limping through the forest, and follows.

Aaron pulls Luke on a stretcher. He’s headed for a cabin in the woods (not to be confused with the cabin in the woods), and sees Negan. Aaron reaches for his sword, and Negan says, hold on, dammit. Don’t do something stupid. Aaron says the only stupid thing would be not to kill him. Negan says he can explain, and zombies start to gather. Aaron says, enough of Negan’s bullsh*t, but the zombies are coming closer, and he’s conflicted about what to do. Negan backs up, and Aaron is surrounded. He starts to chop at the zombies.

Lydia looks up at the trees. She sees Negan walking without his mask, and he grabs her. She struggles, but he tells her, stop it. He says, sorry, kid.

Kelly walks down the road, with Alden who’s holding Adam, while Mary follows. Adam cries, and Alden tries to quiet him. Kelly says, nobody likes a cute baby voice, not even babies. Mary says she can help, but he says he told her to stay back. She says she can help Adam, and he says, the hell she can. Kelly says Mary knows him, but Alden says, knew him. Her people left him to die. There’s no way she’s getting her hands on this kid. He tells her, move away. Adam continues to cry, and Mary tells Alden how to pat Adam’s head and make a shushing noise. He does, but Adam isn’t having it, and Mary asks him to let her try. He finally hands the baby over, and Mary smiles at Adam, bouncing him in her arms. He quiets down, and Kelly smiles at Alden.

Mary, Kelly, and Alden sit, and Mary rocks Adam. Alden asks what Mary’s sister’s name was; she never said. Mary tells him, Frankie. Her name was Francis. Adam meant everything to her. Kelly says, and Frankie was everything to Mary, right? Mary says if she had it to do all over again, Frankie should be the one there holding him, not her. She gets up, and says, they’re coming. They jet, but zombies are on either side of them. They run across the road, and Mary tells them to follow her. The run to an abandoned van, and Kelly tries to get the door open, but it’s stuck. The zombies are coming closer, and Adam starts to cry. They finally get the door open, and Kelly and Alden get in. Mary hands Alden the baby, and shuts the door. She screams, and leads the zombies away from the van, which is now surrounded. Alden is like, sh*t.

Mary leads the zombies to a creek, and stabs them in the head one by one. When they’re all down, she laughs and looks at the sun. A knife plunges into her stomach. It’s Beta, and she feebly hits at him. He says she’ll walk, and she rips his mask off, saying, never. He pulls the blade upward, finishing her off, and drags her body to a tree. He leans her against it, and picks up his mask. A lone Whisperer comes by, and says, it’s you. Beta puts a finger to his lips, and says, shhh… Then kills the Whisperer.

Beta waits. Mary’s hand twitches, and she rises. I say, bite him, but an arrow pierces her head. It’s Alden, shooting from behind a tree. Beta jets before Alden can get another arrow in the bow.

Carol sits in the woods with Eugene on a fallen tree, while Magna sits with Yumiko. Magna tells Yumiko, they were either dead or trapped under rocks. She kept pushing. They took turns, and before they knew it, they were in the horde. She and Connie were together, and Connie’s hand just slipped out of Magana’s. Magna cries a little, and says she couldn’t find Connie again. Carol starts walking, and Yumiko asks if she’s leaving. Carol says she wants to get there before dark, and Yumiko says Magna has been through a lot; she needs to rest. Carol says she can stay as long as she likes, and Yumiko asks if Carol is going to leave her behind again. Carol tells her, she didn’t say that, and Yumiko says, instead of ignoring Magna, Carol should be begging her forgiveness after the sh*t she put Magna through. Carol asks if Yumiko thinks that’s what Magna wants from her. Like it will fix anything. They go through sh*t to go through more sh*t. Yumiko half slaps, half punches Carol in the face, and walks away. Good. Somebody had to, and Daryl wasn’t going to do it. Yumiko goes back to Magna, and wonders what the hell is wrong with Carol? Magna asks if she should have done that, and Yumiko says, she’s so sorry, but she’s not going to sit there and take that. Magna says, things don’t always work out the way they want, and Yumiko tells her, she never said they did. Magna says she can’t do this anymore. She’s thought a lot about the last time they talked. Now she gets it. Yumiko was right to kick her out. At least Yumiko doesn’t have to worry about someone stealing her pillow. Yumiko laughs, and they both laugh/cry. Yumiko takes Magna’s hand.

Carol walks alone for a while, and sits. A hand comes out of the leaves, and touches her. She smacks it away. A zombie starts emerging, and Carol smacks at it again. Eugene comes by, and she stabs the zombie in the head. Eugene says he didn’t mean to intrude, but he thought he should keep an eye on her. She asks if he knows what it feels like to want something so bad, go after it with everything you have, pissing off literally everyone, and getting people killed, and still having nothing to show for it. He says he does, and sits next to her. He says, there’s a meeting of extraordinary importance; a moment of do or die proportions. The biggest meeting of his life is coming up quick. Unfortunately, he can’t share the details, but obviously he can no longer attend. It’s just that it’s not often you meet someone you… Carol says, if it’s important, it’s simple; you go. He protests, and she says, just go to her. He says he sincerely hopes she gets what it is she wants, and leaves.

Carol walks near to where the zombie popped out, and finds a Hilltop staff.

Daryl and the others cross a field. Rosita wonders about the kids, and Daryl says, they should be at the rendezvous. Nebila leans on Jerry as they walk, and says, it’s still burning. He tells here, they’re almost there. They see the cabin, and a zombie toddles out. Daryl starts to run, and Dianne shoots it in the head with an arrow. Rosita says, this is the spot, right? and Nabila cries, where are her babies? Jerry tells her, it’s okay, and Daryl says, let’s spread out.    

Inside the cabin, Judith asks Earl if he thinks they’re safe there. Did he see them? Earl says he won’t let anything happen to them, and she asks if he thinks Ezekiel is okay. There was so much smoke, she couldn’t see. Then he was gone. Earl says, he’ll be there. Ezekiel is one of the bravest men he knows. He tells the kids,  they’re all doing great. They’re all so good, and their folks will be so proud. A girl asks, soon? and he says, real soon. He tells them, shhh, and closes a curtain between the rooms. Alone, he overturns a desk, and takes out a hammer and railway spike. He pounds the spike through the desk, and rights it again. He rolls up his sleeve, and we see that he’s been bitten. Judith appears, and says he lied to them. He says he did. He did it to protect them. Judith says, he can’t do this, but he says he doesn’t have much choice. She says she can stay there with him, so he’s not alone. He says he has his son Alden, who will take good care of Adam, and Judith is so strong, so brave. Now he needs to keep the kids safe from himself. He ask her, please don’t come near him again. A single tear falls from Judith’s eye. She touches his hand, and leaves.

Bodies are everywhere at Hilltop, and the smoke is thick. Jerry approaches quietly, with Daryl following. A door lying flat on the ground, starts to move. Jerry gets ready to attack, but Ezekiel comes out from underneath it. Ezekiel says, the kids, and they all run.

Earl looks at the spike. He gets close to it, and slams his head down on it.

The kids sleep. Judith quietly slips into the other room, where Earl is now dead, his head lying in a pool of blood. She comes closer to check on him, and he grabs her arm and makes guttural zombie noises.

Daryl, Ezekiel, and Jerry approach the cabin. Daryl takes out a hunting knife, and pushes the door open. The kids come running out, and Jerry’s kids run to him. Daryl asks if Judith is in there, and looks inside, calling her name. He sees her sitting next to Earl’s body, her sword resting on her knees. He takes the sword, and sits next to her, putting his arm around her, and she leans on him (both literally and figuratively).

Negan approaches Alpha. He says the thing she’s been looking for? He found it.

Lydia is tied to a chair in another cabin. She struggles to get free.

Negan and Alpha see a zombie (ha! sounds like the name of a children’s book). Negan says, what he sees is a bag of bones, and gnarly-ass teeth. She says he’ll see soon, but he says he’s not ready to meet his Maker. She says he’s proved himself again, finding her. Like a lion cub leaves the pride, it’s time he finds his pride. He asks if she wants him to preach her gospel, and she says she wants him to become a lion. He says he may not be hip to the Greek alphabet, but Beta is not an Alpha. If she’s sticking with the lion thing, doesn’t the young lioness take her mother’s place? She tells him, walk.

Lydia continues to struggle against the ropes holding her.

Negan tells Alpha, a long time ago, before the meat lovers started showing up, he lost someone close to him to pancreatic cancer. When the disease wasn’t eating her insides, the chemo was kicking the sh*t out of her. Maybe the cancer put things in perspective. She was never more beautiful. It didn’t matter how frail she got; even when she lost her hair. Alpha says, be grateful death set her free, and Negan says, when she was gone, he didn’t feel much of anything anymore. He didn’t feel scared or happy. He didn’t feel anything; he was just there. She says, that’s his strength, and he says he’s dead to the world, but she’s pretending, thinking that it makes her strong. She thinks the emotions are real, and they’re animals, but it’s bullsh*t and she knows it. Now she claims she has to kill her own flesh and blood. Alpha says, it is her destiny. That disease took his wife because it’s what nature intended. She couldn’t take him with her, but every day she wishes she could. Lydia was made for this. To be free with her.

Lydia gets the ropes off her hands.

Negan asks if Alpha still loves Lydia. They look at the cabin, and Alpha says she has to do this because she loves Lydia. Lydia will always be her baby.

Lydia works on the ropes binding her feet.

Negan and Alpha kiss. She thanks him, and goes toward the cabin. Negan follows. Lydia gets the last of her ropes off. Alpha reaches for the front doorknob, as Lydia opens the back door. Alpha and Negan start to go inside, but Negan turns, and slashes Alpha’s throat open. He holds her, kisses her, and gently places her on the ground.

Negan tosses Alpha’s head, mouth gaping and moving, at someone’s feet. Carol says, it took you long enough.

I didn’t see any of that coming.

Next time, Michonne is back, along with her armless zombie buddies.

🐴🌎 Someone’s Not Thrilled…

I don’t care if it sucks canal water. Aaron Paul could read the phone book, and I’d probably watch. Ditto Ed Harris. I wasn’t able to see it tonight, but I’ll catch one of the 57 reruns encore performances.


🙊 Bad Rand…

Apparently Lala’s main squeeze let some private details slip in a very public way.


🍑 Meanwhile, In the ATL…

I can’t help liking Kenya. Maybe it’s the whole twirl thing.


🌈 This Too Shall Pass…

And probably before the toilet paper hoarders use up all those rolls.

March 10, 2020 – Sonny Pays Brad a Visit, Kyle Plots Against Candace, Kristen Is Not Number One, Good Karma & Hard Day


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Alexis and Neil bask in the afterglow. They smile at each other.

Michael builds a dollhouse. Sasha comes in, and says he was awfully quiet last night. He says Diane gave him a lot to think about, and Sasha asks if he wants to talk. He says he’d appreciate her take on this. To bolster his case for custody, Diane suggested he get married.

Ava runs into Julian at the hospital, and asks what he’s doing there. He says, looking for his son, and she asks if Lucas is talking to him again. He says, first, Lucas loses Wiley, then has to kick his husband to the curb, and he rushes back to work. Ava asks if he’s worried about Brad’s arraignment, but Julian says it doesn’t have anything to do with him. She asks if he’s not afraid Brad is going to give him up. He says if Brad makes him the bad guy, he could go prison for aiding, abetting, and kidnapping.

Scotty tells Brad to untie his hands; give him something. Brad wonders what else he can give Scotty to make it better, and Scotty says something to blur the lines and give reasonable doubt. Something to get the guilty off of him.

At The Floating Rib, Mac stands next to Taggert’s picture, and says they’ve gathered to celebrate the life and memory of Marcus Taggert. He suggests Jordan go first, but she says, what is there to say? Taggert was the bravest man she ever knew. She raises her beer bottle, and says, to Marcus Taggert, and everyone else follows suit. Trina thanks Cameron for coming, and Elizabeth tells Portia that she’s sorry. Portia says she appreciates it. It means a lot to Trina that they came too. Trina says she’s right, and hugs Cameron.

Laura sees Curtis at the hospital, and asks if he’s okay. He says he gave blood, and she says doing his civic duty. He says he’s just in it for the cookie; helping others is a bonus. She finds that hard to believe, and says he was missed at the funeral. He says, that’s another reason why he’s there. He thought he could do more good donating blood after all that’s been shed. She tells him to stop beating himself up about what happened to Taggert. He says, if he’d had more time or a better plan… but Laura says Taggert had a plan. He wanted Curtis to get his daughter out alive, and Curtis did it. She tells him, Mac is hosting a wake at The Floating Rib, and he should go. He says he’d feel out of place, but she says, if anyone should be there, it’s him.

Mac asks if anyone else wants to say something. Sonny says he does, but Jordan says, the memorial is for friends, family, and cops. He says he just wants to pay his respects. He asks if he can have a glass, but Mac says, it’s for cops only. Sonny says he can do it without one, and walks up front. He says, if he had a glass, he’d raise it to Taggert. It’s no surprise they didn’t like each other. They had a lot of battles, but in the end, he respected Taggert. He was a brave man; loyal to the people he loved, and committed to the code of honor. He says, to Marcus Taggert, but no one responds. I feel sad for Sonny.

Brad says he told Scotty a billion times. The only other person who knew about the baby switch was Nelle. It was her idea. Scotty says Nelle insists Brad stole the baby while she was passed out, and Brad says, she’s lying. Scotty says he needs prove it. He needs to know if there’s somebody else mixed up in this with Brad.

Ava says Brad knows Julian is his only friend. He says, when a ship sinks, that kind of friend takes the raft. Brad is the person he’s least concerned about. If Sonny finds out… She says, there’s one solution; Sonny can’t find out.

Michael tells Sasha, on one hand, it might help to show he’s more qualified to care for Wiley. She says, living in a mansion with a full-time staff might help. He says, it doesn’t hurt, but a nanny isn’t a substitute for a mother’s love. In the meantime, Nelle has money from the sale of her ELQ shares. She says, what about character witnesses? Does Nelle even have any? He says, he has more stability, and Wiley will be loved and nurtured. It’s not even close, but it’s Nelle. Sasha says, she’s a master manipulator, and Michael says she’s turned playing the victim into an art form. She asks, what about him? What does he think about this marriage thing?

Alexis and Neil kiss. She says she needs a therapist, and he says he thinks she just had one. She says, it was really great, but a mistake, since he has a hearing in less than an hour about what they just did. He asks if they can forget about the hearing for the next five minutes. She asks what he wants to talk about, and he says, the opera, and the fact they ended up in the same box. And it wasn’t just any opera. It was Aida, a story of forbidden love. She asks if they’re not all like that, and he says, only 80%. Then there was the walk home; a romantic stroll through Manhattan. The bar, the ride in the elevator, and them struggling to say goodnight. Alexis says, it can’t happen again. When he goes before the board, his license is at stake. He says he needs to tell the truth that they’re more than friends.

Jordan says, Port Charles was Taggert’s home, and he did everything he could to keep it safe. She’s not sure if everyone knew, but he was planning to move back full-time, so he could be closer to his daughter. Now he’s a part of her – and them – always. Everyone raises their bottles again. Sonny tells Trina that he’s sorry, and she thanks him. He says he and Carly have her in they’re prayers. He tells Portia that Trina is great, and if they need anything, let him know. Portia thanks him, and says, it’s kind of him to come. She knows Taggert would appreciate it very much. Sonny says, he was a good man, and Portia says, yes; he was. Sonny asks how Cameron is, and Cameron says, he can’t complain. Well, he guesses he could… Sonny asks how his left hook is, and if he’s ready to come back to the gym. Cameron thinks so, and Sonny asks how Elizabeth is. She says, glad the kids are safe and sound. Sonny tells her, make sure to keep them safe. Josslyn wants to ask Sonny something, and they step away. She asks if it’s okay if she stays a little longer. She thinks Trina might need her. He says he’ll tell Michael and Wiley that she said hi. He leaves, and Josslyn says she hopes it was okay with Trina that Sonny came. Trina says she’s glad he did, and she’s not just saying that. Even though they were on opposite sides, like Sonny said, they respected each other, and that’s important.

Laura says Taggert asked Curtis to help him. He wanted Curtis to protect his daughter while he did what he knew he had to do. Curtis says he shouldn’t have left Taggert alone, but Laura says, according to the kids’ statements, it’s obvious if he hadn’t been there, they’d be having funerals for Cameron and Trina. He says he knows that, but… She says, no buts. When Taggert found out Cyrus had his daughter, he knew how it would play out. He put his daughter’s life in Curtis’s hands, and Curtis got her out of there. He says he doesn’t think Trina sees it that way, and Laura says, that’s the good thing about facts. It doesn’t matter how others see it. Curtis might not be a cop, but at the moment Taggert needed him most, Curtis was his partner.

Alexis asks if Neil is insane. He says, legally or psychologically? and she says, it’s not funny. If he tells the truth, he can kiss his career goodbye. He says if he doesn’t, he undermines his colleagues, and she says there won’t be anything to undermine. He tells her, say he lies, and they put whatever they’re calling this on hold for two years. He doesn’t think they can, but she says they have no choice. Someone reported him, and if they keep this up, they’ll report him again. He says he’ll tell the truth, but she says, no. He’s a great doctor, and this is coming from a patient he fired twelve times. He’s good at this. it’s who he is, and she’s not letting anyone take that away from him, including him.

Neil tells Alexis, like it or not, he has to tell the truth. Alexis says, the truth is, while he was treating her, they had an attraction, but didn’t act on it until she stopped treatment. He says, but they did, and she says, please don’t do this. He says he has to get ready, but before he does, he wants her to know, no matter what happens or what the board’s decision is, he doesn’t regret last night. He kisses her and leaves. She says, wow.

Ava shows up at the memorial, and Trina says she’s glad Ava is there. Ava says, of course (🍷); they’re friends, aren’t they? On a day like this, they all need friends. Portia watches Ava, and Jordan watches Portia.

Sonny goes to visit Michael, but says he’s not staying long. He just stopped by to see how Michael is doing. Sasha greets Sonny, but says she has to make some calls, and excuses herself. Sonny asks how Michael is doing, and Michael says, so far, so good. He’s spending every minute he can with Wiley, who’s napping right now. Sonny says, Michael will be a good father, and Michael says he learned from best. Every minute feels like a gift, especially since Wiley was taken away from him for so long. He knows he spent a lot of time with Wiley, but knowing Wiley is his son… He has to be sure Wiley stays with him.

Julian stands outside the door, listening to Scotty and Brad. Scotty says, it’s never too early to prepare a good defense. He needs to know if there’s someone Brad can share the blame with. Julian walks in, and Scotty asks what brings him by. Brad says he and Scotty are discussing legal stuff, and Julian asks Scotty if he can have a word with Brad. Scotty tells Brad to think about it, and don’t take too long. He tells Julian, the check cleared, and Julian asks if there was ever any doubt. Scotty says, yeah, especially with his clientele these days. He’s surprised Julian is there, since Brad isn’t Lucas’s favorite person right now. Julian says, like it or not (phrase of the day), Brad is still his son-in-law, and he’s here for him. Scotty says, touching, and leaves. Julian asks Brad if he gave Scotty any names, and Brad says, not yet, but they’re running out of time. Scotty thinks someone else is involved.

Jordan follows Portia to the bathroom, and asks if she’s okay. Portia says she’s fine, and Jordan asks if she’s sure. It can’t be easy. Portia tells her, she never said anything was easy. She loved Taggert very much, but he was never going to let go of his work. Jordan says, Taggert loved her and Trina; she has to know that. Portia says, she does know that, but so what? When it came down to choosing between them and his job, she and Trina never stood a chance.

Trina tells Josslyn and Cameron to talk to her about anything; college volleyball, even soccer, which is only interesting every four years when they compete for the World Cup. Josslyn says she wants a distraction? Something right in front of her to keep her focused? Trina says she does, and Josslyn says, college visits. She’s looking at schools in Florida, but her mom isn’t happy about that. Trina sees Curtis, and asks what the hell he’s doing there.

Trina says Curtis is the reason her father is dead. Because of him, all she has left is the burial flag. Everyone says she should be grateful to him for saving her life, but he should have saved her father. Portia comes over, and asks, what’s wrong? Trina says she wants him gone. She says, Curtis? and Curtis says, Portia? Trina says, they know each other? Jordan is like, hmm…

Sonny says he heard as soon as the charges were dropped, Nelle sued Michael for full custody. Michael tells him not to worry. He saw it coming, and he was ready. He took a leave of absence from ELQ, so he could focus on his son, and providing a home that no judge will want to take Wiley away from. Sonny understands where Michael is coming from, but says he loves running ELQ. Michael says it’s nothing in comparison to his son. There’s something else. He’s been dreading Brad’s trial, and having to listen to Nelle justify taking his son away. Sonny tells him not to worry. Things have a way of working out.

Julian tells Brad that he’ll do what he can, and Brad asks what Julian wants in return. Julian says he wants Brad quiet. If Brad cares about Lucas, don’t take one more thing from him. Brad says, meaning Julian, and Julian says Lucas has lost Wiley and Brad, and he’s the last thing Lucas has. Brad says, so Julian gets away with keeping Wiley from his family, while he takes the fall.

Alexis goes to the hearing. Dr. Crouse introduces herself and thanks Alexis for coming. Alexis says she’s happy to clear things up. Neil arrives, and Dr. Crouse suggests they get started. They’re here to review a complaint against Neil. She’s read their statements, and asks if Neil has anything to add. He says, not at this time, and she says, then they’ll be hearing from the other party first.

Trina says, Curtis and her mother know each other? Portia says, they used to, and Curtis says he didn’t mean to interrupt. He’s just there to pay his respects. Laura says, it’s her fault. She thought Curtis should be there. Portia thanks her, and Laura says she knew Taggert twenty years ago. He was a wonderful man and a dedicated cop. Trina says, now he’s dead. Why is everyone being nice to this man, when he’s the one responsible? She’s done. She runs off, and Cameron and Josslyn say they’ve got this, and follow her. Mac asks if Curtis wants a drink, but he says he’s good. Mac asks what about Ava? and she says, her? Yeah. A vodka martini with three olives. Jordan watches Curtis and Portia look at each other.

Portia tells Curtis, she’s so sorry. Forgive her daughter. Curtis tells her, Trina said nothing he hasn’t been telling himself. Portia says Trina owes him her life, but he says Trina’s father saved her life. He was just backup. She asks how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other, and he says, years, adding, he’s sorry for her loss.

Outside the bathroom, Cameron says they’re taking too long; he’s coming in. He asks if everything is okay, and Josslyn says, it’s all good, more or less. Trina says the less is that her father is gone, and the man responsible is an old friend of her mom’s. How twisted is that? Cameron knows she doesn’t want to hear this, and she says, then don’t say it. He tells her, he’s glad she’s alive, and she says he didn’t see what happened. Her dad against all those guys. Curtis dragged her away, and she can’t be grateful. Josslyn says, she got to say goodbye. If she can’t be grateful that she was saved, be grateful for the extra time she had with her dad. She doesn’t have to pretend. Cameron guesses he’s pretending too, but he’s not doing half as good a job. The whole morning was terrible. He’s glad he’s there, but knows it’s terrible for them too. Josslyn says, it is, and hugs Trina. Cameron comes in from the other side for a three-way hug.

Elizabeth tells Portia, they were so close to losing their kids, and Portia commends Trina’s support system. Ava says, Trina has a lot of people she can count on, including her. Portia says, what a wonderful role model. Ava says, it’s her husband’s memorial, and Portia can say what she wants. Curtis asks if Jordan is okay, and she says, it’s another reminder of life cut short. She asks how come he never mentioned he knew Trina’s mother, and he says he hadn’t realized who Trina’s mother was until just now.

Laura approaches Ava, and says she wondered if Nikolas would be joining her. Elizabeth says she was just asking about him. Ava says, Nikolas. Poor man, moping around that big house, looking like he lost his best friend. She’s hoping Elizabeth and Franco can join them for dinner sometime.

Brad tells Julian, the best thing to do for Lucas, is tell him his father lied every step of the way. Julian says he wouldn’t say every step. He’s kept Brad’s secret for the last few months, but he’s not the one who stole Wiley; that was Brad and Nelle. And he wouldn’t be part of this mess if Brad hadn’t begged him to keep the secret. He tells Brad, stick to the script, and he’ll take care of the rest.

Michael asks how Lucy is, and Sasha says, the same as always. She asks what his dad wanted, and he says Sonny was just checking on him, and wanting to solve all of his problems. Sasha says, everyone thinks they know what’s best for him and Wiley, and he says, it’s the story of his life. She says, he knows better than anyone what’s best for Wiley, and asks if he has any thoughts about Diane’s advice. He says, in olden times, the primary purpose of marriage was a business transaction – property, armies, money – it wasn’t about love. Sasha says she’s practically swooning, and he says, to a degree, it’s still like that. Maybe what Diane is expecting is for him to get down on one knee. As a lawyer she thinks marriage will help his custody case. Sasha wonders if he’s asking her.

Brad wonders where to begin, when Sonny walks in.

Dr. Crouse says, a complaint was filed that Neil and Alexis have a personal relationship, and asks if there’s any factual basis. Alexis says, the facts are as follows. They found themselves in the same venue – Bingo. She won, and doesn’t typically win that kind of thing, so she was super excited and kissed him impulsively. Nothing romantic; it was strictly out of joy. Dr. Crouse says, from winning at Bingo? and Alexis asks if she’s ever won. Dr. Crouse says she has, and there’s nothing like it. Does they have anything else to add regarding the relationship? Neil says, no, and Alexis says, actually, yes. She asks the board to take into account, Neil’s acumen as a therapist. Her daughter Kristina ended up in a cult, Dawn of Day. Dr. Crouse says she’s familiar with it, and she’s sorry to hear Alexis’s daughter got embroiled in it. Alexis says, Kristina’s father hired Neil to extricate her, and he was very successful. He led Kristian back to her family, and she has a healthy relationship with herself again. If not for Neil, Alexis would have no relationship with her daughter today. Dr. Bern is a very good therapist. He helps people; sometimes in sessions, and sometimes as a friend. After their sessions ended… Dr. Crouse says, they became friends? Alexis says, it’s a small town, and they run into each other, and frequent some of the same places. It would be ridiculous if when one of them walked in, the other walked out. They’ve chatted, and she wouldn’t say they’re friends, but friendly. Dr. Crouse says the board recognizes that Neil is a gifted therapist, which is why it’s even more imperative that he do what’s right. She asks Alexis to tell them in her own words, of what nature is her relationship with Neil?

Ava tells Elizabeth, let’s have dinner soon, and moves on. Laura tells Elizabeth that she guesses it wasn’t the place to say she wouldn’t be taking Ava up one it, and Elizabeth says she’d be fine blowing it off, but it will be hard to talk Franco out of it. Ava and Nikolas are up to something. Laura says, of course (🍷) they are. Trina comes back, and Portia asks if she’s okay now. Trina says she’s feeling better, and Portia suggests they go home. Ava tells Trina, it’s okay for her not to rush back to work, and Portia says, how kind of her, allowing Trina to mourn her dead father. Ava says she knows what a terrific multi-tasker their girl is. She’s sure Trina had it in her head to come in tomorrow. Trina says she was going to come by today, but Ava says she’ll do no such thing. Take her time. Her internship is waiting. Trina says they’ll talk later.

Elizabeth asks if she can give Josslyn a ride, but Josslyn says, Sonny has a car waiting. Cameron says, and bodyguards, and Elizabeth says, you can never be too safe. They look at Taggert’s picture, and Josslyn tells Cameron, she knows she’s said this a hundred times, but she’s glad he’s okay. They hug. Elizabeth tells Josslyn, be careful and stay safe. Jordan looks at her phone, and Curtis asks if it’s a text from TJ. She says, yeah, and the text reads that he needs time away to think things over. Don’t worry. Curtis says, TJ is licking his wounds. He’ll work it out. She says she’s not worried, but texts back for TJ  to call and leave a message. She wants to hear his voice. She tells Curtis, she’s just verifying.

Dr. Crouse says, before they answer, she wants to emphasize that the patient review board is relying on their honest, concise, and forthright answers. She’s asking for what she hopes will be the last time, what is the nature of their relationship? Alexis says her relationship with Neil is strictly professional. Outside of the incident she told them about, their relationship has been cordial. She was his patient, and he was her therapist.

Michael tells Sasha, he’s willing to protect his son by any means necessary, but a marriage of convenience isn’t fair to anyone, especially her. Sasha appreciates him saying that, but if he was considering it, she would understand. He says he has no desire to create an instafamily for appearances sake, and she says she’s glad they’re on the same page. He says, but if the day ever came that he decided to get married, he would want it to be for the right reasons. Wouldn’t she? I wonder if I’m watching The Bachelor for a moment, and Sasha says absolutely. They can’t let anyone else dictate how they live. How they live is up to them, not Diane, and certainly not Nelle. They hug.

Brad asks what Sonny is going to do to him. Sonny says, that depends on what Brad says in the courtroom.

Tomorrow, Laura says they’ll use Cyrus’s own tactics against him, Brook visits Mike, and Sonny tells Brad to plead guilty.

The Haves and The Have Nots

After all he’s done to his mother and father, Wyatt thinks he wants to. Kathryn says she’s heard all of this before. She thinks he’s in jail and safe, and tells him to leave her alone. He asks if she knows how easy it is for him to kill himself there. He shows her a shank made from a toothbrush, and says, you can easily get a shank like this; it has a razor inside, and you can slit your wrists. She tells him, don’t do anything stupid, and he says, it’s just a way out. Doesn’t she think they’ll be happy if he does this? She says she’s not playing around, and he says neither is he. She calls for the guard, but he says he timed it so they’d be on shift change. Tell dad he’s sorry. He cuts his wrist, and she yells again for the guard.

Wyatt says, it shouldn’t be too long, and Kathryn tells him to put pressure on it. He says, it’s all too much, and she says she loves him. He says he knows, but he just can’t do this anymore. She continues to call for the guard, and Wyatt says, tell dad he loves him. Kathryn says he’ll be able to tell his dad himself; don’t do this. He tells her, don’t panic. They’ll all be much happier. She says they both love him, and he says he thought she said she didn’t. She says she gets upset sometimes. She cries, saying she gets angry and says things. He says, the truth always comes out. When he was seven, she always blamed the banana fosters. He loved those. She begs him to put pressure on it, and calls for the guard, but he says, doesn’t she want their last conversation to be one of peace? He loved those banana fosters; they were so good. He’d come home from boarding school, and be so excited to see her and dad, and asked her make him a banana foster. After a week, she’d start yelling at him; they’d get sick of him. Does she remember that? They were screaming because of something dad made her do. That’s the day the priest did to him what he did, and all he wanted was a banana foster to make him feel better. He just wanted her to hug him, but she looked at him, and made him feel so sad. He starts to slump, and falls. She screams his name, and sinks to the ground, sobbing. She calls for the guard again. I guess it must be a long shift change.

Jim’s thug comes into his hospital room, and says, Jim wanted to see him? Jim says it’s his lucky day; he’s giving another chance. The thug says, sorry, but Jim says, don’t be. This has nothing to do with the Malones. This one is easy. Veronica Harrington. He wants her. The thug asks how long Jim wants her held, and Jim says he wants her killed. He wants her dead, and he wants it to look like an accident. How does he think he’ll do it? The thug says he’s not sure, and Jim says, understand. It needs to look like an accident. The thug says, a car accident? but Jim says, something big; catastrophic. She hangs around with thugs. Come up with something plausible. The thug leaves, and Jim’s phone rings.

It’s AG Kyle, who says he heard Jim had an issue. Jim says he’s as well as can expected, and Kyle says Jim’s colleague said Jim wanted to talk to him. What’s going on? Jim asks if it’s a secure line, and Kyle says it is. Is Jim’s? Jim says, yes, and tells Kyle that he wants to talk about the situation. Kyle says he’s all over that, and Jim asks when he’s reaching out. Kyle says, tomorrow, but he can’t do anything about the other part. It’s a murder charge. Before, it was just conspiracy. Jim asks if Kyle is sure there’s nothing he can do, and Kyle says, it’s highly unlikely, but Jim says, at least try. Kyle says the little favor Jim did about Candace doesn’t pay this kind of debt. Jim says he can be helpful to Kyle if given the chance, and Kyle says, okay; he’ll consider it. Jim thanks him, and Kyle tells him, try to stay out of trouble. Jim says, not a chance in hell, and Kyle says he’s learning that about Jim. They’ll talk soon. Jim hangs up, and wonders, what the hell is going on?

Kyle tells Scott that Jim was calling in a favor, and Scott asks what Jim wants Kyle to do. Kyle says Jim wants him to help his wife, and Scott says, it’s a murder charge. Kyle says, Jim is something else. He thinks the little info he gave Kyle on Candace is enough. Scott tells him, be careful with Jim. These are the kind of people he has to watch, and not take for granted. There’s something going on with Candace. The press has turned the tide; they’re murdering him, and consoling her. Someone is behind this. Kyle has a gut feeling Scott knows who it is, but Scott insists he doesn’t. He tells Kyle, be careful with that Cryer guy, and Kyle says, just do his job.

Benny finds Mitch waiting for him as he drives up in his new truck. Mitch asks what the hell he’s doing with that thing, and Benny says it’s his. Mitch asks, how? and Benny says Candace set him up, so he bought two. Let’s get back in. Mitch asks where Candace is, and Benny says, she had to make a stop, but said she’d be back before she left. He wants to get the towing back up, and get at it with Mitch. Mitch asks how he got the money, and Benny says, don’t worry. Candace gave him a lot. Mitch says, it was nice of her, and Benny says Hanna is going to be mad as hell, but it’ll be all right. Mitch hopes the both of them will be all right, and Benny says, Hanna will be mad, but he’s not worried about Jim. If Jim comes after him, he’ll be ready with his badass truck. A horn beeps, and Candace pulls up, also in a new truck. Mitch says they all got big boy trucks, and Benny says they’re doing big boy things. Mitch asks if he can borrow Candace’s truck, and she says she bought it for him. She tosses Mitch the keys, and says she’s tired of seeing him drive around in that… He says his car is vintage, and she says, it’s a piece of junk. Mitch thanks her, and Benny wonders why Candace got the truck for Mitch; he didn’t do nothin’. Candace says, he saved Benny’s life; be happy for him. Benny says, all right. Candace says she has to pack for the airport, and they go inside.

Mitch says his new truck is bad as hell, and he and Benny fist bump. Benny says, they’re back in action. He realizes Hanna is there, and she says, so this is how it is. She asks what Candace got, and Candace says, nothing. Hanna says, no red bottoms? Her brother was kidnapped, and her baby was killed. Benny says, mom, but she tells him, shut up; she’s talking. She asks what they’re going to do when Jim comes for him, but Benny says, he won’t. She asks how he knows, and Benny says, he just knows. She says he’s crazy, and asks Candace, did you do something gansta, princess? Candace says, no, and Hanna says he’s coming, but Mitch says, he won’t. Hanna asks if he was in this conversation, and how does he know? Mitch says he talked to Jim. His family can be persuasive. Benny says, Mitch talked to Jim? Mitch says he did, and Benny asks what he said. Mitch says he told Jim that he can’t mess with them anymore. Hanna says her family is now gangster talking kids, and Benny says he knows she’s upset, but she’ll get over it. Candace gave him a million dollars.

Hanna says, a million dollars? and Benny says he’s keeping every dime. She says, then get out. He says he knew she’d say that, and if she likes, he’ll be glad to leave. Hanna says, so this is how it is, and Benny says, sorry. She tells him, get his sh*t, and get out. He says he thinks he’ll get a house; something small, around $200K. When Hanna calms down, she can come live with him. She wants no part of his gangster lifestyle, and he says when she’s tired of freeloading, let him know. She says she’s tired of her children not knowing how to do the right thing. They’re grown. She tells Benny, it won’t last, and he says he’s going to enjoy it while it does. She says she expected it from Candace. She was holding out hope, but wondering how long before Candace went back to her old ways. Candace says she couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Sorry. Hanna tells her, get her stuff and leave. When she comes back, she wants them both gone. And if they come back, the police will be there. She’ll have them arrested for stealing money. Candace says they didn’t steal it, and Hanna says they’ll let the police decide. She’s always said, she’d rather see Candace alive and in jail, than dead in the street. She can’t believe them. She leaves, and Mitch says, she is pissed. Benny says, she’ll be all right, and Mitch wants to take a spin in his new truck. He goes to do that, and Candace sits on the couch, with her head in her hands. Benny says he knows she’s not feeling bad. He suggests they get her stuff, and get hell out.

David goes back to his house. Jeffrey is lying on the couch, and asks if he’s sneaking in. David says, no, and Jeffrey says, it looks that way. He’s tiptoeing around like the Grinch. David asks if Jeffrey was sleeping, and Jeffrey says, this early? David says he knows Jeffrey likes to nap, but Jeffrey says he wasn’t asleep. Does David want to talk about it? David says, what? and Jeffrey says, what he saw. David says Jeffrey is a grown man, and Jeffrey asks if he minds that it was in the house? David says, no, and Jeffrey asks if he minds that it was Madison. David repeats, Jeffrey is grown. He does have a problem with what he saw, but it’ll be fine. Jeffrey asks why David is avoiding him, and David says he didn’t expect to see all that. Jeffrey asks if it weirded him out? and David says, to be honest, yes. Sorry. Jeffrey says, don’t be sorry, but David says, it’s who Jeffrey is. He’s just never seen it before. Jeffrey says, not even in college? and David says, no. Jeffrey says, damn, and David says he grew up in a different time. Jeffrey asks what gay people did back then, and David supposes they hid their sexuality; a lot of them were in the closet. Jeffrey guesses they had to be afraid, and says, it’s sad. David says he doesn’t want that for Jeffrey. He wants Jeffrey to be free. He says if Jeffrey had been with a girl, he wouldn’t feel this way. Jeffrey asks, what way? and David says he doesn’t know how he’s feeling. He needs time to deal. He tells Jeffrey that he loves him, and Jeffrey says he loves David too. David says, no matter who Jeffrey is sleeping with, just make sure they’re a consenting adult. He says he bought Jeffrey something, and Jeffrey says he saw it, but he doesn’t need a fifty pack of condoms. David says, they were on sale, and Jeffrey thanks him. I loved this scene. There was just the right amount of uncomfortable, and lots of love.

David asks if Jeffrey really likes Madison, and Jeffrey says, he’s still getting to know him. He knows what it’s like. David can’t tell him that he never had sex with someone he was still trying to get to know. David says he does, and he likes Madison better than Justin (said everybody). He’s happy for Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he and Madison are supposed to go out to dinner, and asks if it’s okay if Madison comes over afterward. David says, sure, but please, lock his door. Jeffrey and I laugh, and Jeffrey says, make sure to knock next time. David says he loves Jeffrey, and he’s a little embarrassed, but he’ll get over it. He tells Jeffrey, enjoy his dinner. Jeffrey says security phone him, and David says not to panic. It’s necessary. Jeffrey asks if David thinks Veronica will try it again, and David says he knows she will. Jeffrey says, damn, and David asks if Jeffrey loves his mother. Jeffrey says, she makes it harder every day. Why is he asking? David says he just wants to be sure. Jeffrey asks what he’s thinking, and David says he’s not thinking anything; he’s just asking. Jeffrey says David doesn’t ask if there’s not a reason. Is he going to do something to her? David tells him, have a nice time, and tell Madison he said hello. Jeffrey says, should something happen to his mother, he understands. He asks if a guard is going to follow him, and David says the guard will keep his distance. He’ll keep an eye out, and look out for his mother’s henchmen. Relax and enjoy himself. They’ll talk more later.

Scott says, Kyle wanted to see him? Kyle says they may have an issue. Senator Connelly Westlake. Charles wants to make him the AG. Scott says they were expecting it, but Kyle says they weren’t expecting him to get up in his bonnet over Candace. He was really upset. Scott says, Connelly has no reason to be upset about a whore, and Kyle says, well, he is. Kyle wonders if Charles is in love with Candace; impossible. Scott says, he’d be a fool, as would anyone who falls for a piece of ass. Kyle says the reason he called is, they need to make sure everything was done by the book, especially the last eight years. He doesn’t want Connelly opening an investigation about them. Scott says he’s on it, and Kyle says, it should already be done. Scott says he’ll make sure it’s done correctly. Kyle says he thinks Scott might need to get rid of any evidence. He thinks she recognized him when she robbed him. Clean it up, and make it look like accident. Make it look a suicide. Charles will be heartbroken. Make sure it’s on Federal property, so they can make a Federal case out of it. Scott says, say goodbye to the President’s mistress.

Laura tidies up, and Veronica says she likes it a lot; Laura is good. She tells Laura that she needs to pick up the dry cleaning and to take her car. Laura protests, but Veronica says Laura isn’t taking her five grand suits on the bus. She says Laura is a sweet girl, and Laura tells Veronica, her mom… Veronica interrupts, and tells her she has a job to do, and Veronica just expects her to do it. Laura says, sorry, and Veronica says, don’t be sorry; be better. There’s a knock at the door, and Laura answers it. She tells Veronica, he said his name is Rondell (yay! a name!), and Veronica says, let him in. Rondell walks in, and Veronica asks, what’s going on? He says he just came to holler at her. They’re out for her. She asks, who? and he says he doesn’t know; a foreign dude. She says, it’s probably David, and he says she needs to watch her back for real. She says her back is fine, and he asks if she’s sure she doesn’t need muscle around, but she says he’s not muscly enough. She sort of flirts with him, and takes his hand, asking if they’re good, now that she paid for his brother’s funeral and his kids’ tuition. He says they are, but she needs to lay low until this blows over. The dude who’s looking for her ain’t a good dude. She says she can handle it, and he says she ain’t scared of nothing, is she? She says, not really. Except the whore he’s sleeping with. He says he’s been checked, but she says he’s not touching her until she sees the blood test. He says he’s glad they’re cool now, and to let him know if she wants anything. He leaves, and she says, damn. Weed and malt liquor. Veronica has to do better than this. She calls for Laura, saying, Lucy bring the air freshener please.

Madison and Jeffrey go out to dinner, and Madison thanks Jeffrey for asking him out. Jeffrey says he didn’t really ask Madison out, and Madison guesses he’s right; he demanded it. Jeffrey says he hopes Madison brought his wallet, and Madison says he hopes Jeffrey brought his appetite. Jeffrey says he did, and Madison says, how about his sexual one? Jeffrey says, that was lame, and Madison says, don’t act like he didn’t want to finish. Jeffrey asks if they’re really talking about that right now, and Madison says they can talk later. He tells Jeffrey, for someone who’s trying so hard to resist, he seems to be getting excited. Jeffrey asks how Madison knows that, and Madison says, when Jeffrey is excited, he acts like he’s not interested. He needs to lighten up. Jeffrey asks, what’s on the menu? and Madison says, him. Jeffrey asks what’s wrong with him? and Madison asks if Jeffrey can blame him. Since day one, when he saw Jeffrey, he wondered, who is that? Jeffrey says he did too, and Madison says, then don’t act like he didn’t want the same thing. Jeffrey says he did, and asks if they can order now. Madison asks if Jeffrey is in a hurry, and Jeffrey says, the sooner the meal is over, the sooner they can leave. Madison calls, waiter! and they order.

Laura goes home to her apartment, and her boyfriend? husband? asks where she’s been. She says she got the job. He says, with Veronica? and she says, yes. He says, it’s the score they’ve been looking for. He asks how Veronica is, and Laura says, she’s a bitch. He wouldn’t believe it. She needs him to case the place, and he says he could do his pool boy thing. She doesn’t like it, but he says, it’s the best way in. She agrees, telling him to do what he’s got to. He says he loves her, and she says she loves him too. He says they’re about to be so rich. She says, they are, and she’s so horny. She tells him, take his clothes off, and he asks if she’s got dollars. She says, it’s on credit. Tonight’s a good night, and she’s going to cash in. He takes his shirt off, and she grabs his belt, pulling him closer. He kisses her, and carries her to the bedroom. Since she never once called him by name, I picked up one character’s name, only for a nameless one to negate it.

Candace tells Benny, Hanna is pissed. Benny says he knows, and she says they were just getting on good terms. Benny says, it’s crazy for her to think they weren’t taking the money. Candace says she almost didn’t, and Benny says she would have regretted it for the rest of her life. She says she’s not looking back, and Benny picks up his laptop. He says he’s looking up Derrick, and Candace says, for what? He says Derrick pissed mom off, but Candace says, let it go; she’s serious. He shows her a mug shot, and says, dude is in jail. He reads something, and asks if the man who raped Hanna didn’t have a lion tattoo on his chest. He and Candace look at each other, and I think he knows Candace knows who Derrick is.

The Haves and The Have Nots returns in the fall.

Vanderpump Rules

Fingers crossed that James does something stupid. Oh, wait. If he’s in this episode, he’ll be doing something stupid. No finger crossing necessary.

Kentucky Castle, Versailles, Kentucky. Brittany thanks everyone for coming. Jax says, they’ve come a long way, and he and Brittany appreciate it. A guy walks through the guests to the front, and says he’s a Junior Detective with the New York Police Department, and wherever he goes, murder seems to follow. In her interview, Brittany says, it’s a murder mystery party. The guy says he’s recruiting them be amateur detectives. In Stassi’s interview, she says everyone who knows her, knows she loves murder and solving mysteries. This is the role she was born to play. We see what looks like an old black and white film, with the title of The Case of the Kentucky Castle Killer. The guests try to solve the mystery, and in her interview, Stassi says, it’s legit the most romantic thing she’s ever seen.

One hour later. The pseudo detective asks, who had the most motive? and Lala guesses correctly. He says, Lindsay killed her brother, and the person playing her says she had no choice; he was running the business into the ground. In Lala’s interview, she says Lindsay’s dad wasn’t leaving the company to her because she’s a woman, so she killed her brother. Lala tells Stassi, you can’t overthink the game; she never asked one question. Brittany’s niece Presley, comes over to where Stassi and Lala are sitting, and switches her wristlet for Stassi’s designer purse.

Lala tells Katie that she’s confused about Carter. He and Kristen aren’t together, but he’s coming to the wedding. Katie says, he was only invited as a guest, not on his own. Lala asks Kristen if Carter is her date, and Kristen says he deserves to be at the wedding. He’s her best friend. We flash back to their train wreck of a relationship, and Stassi asks if Kristen can’t be real for one second. She’s tried to have conversations with Kristen, but she won’t be honest. Lala says they care about her well-being. Kristen tells Katie that she’s a bitch, and she knows it’s hard for Stassi. Because Kristen is conflicted, Stassi doesn’t know where she stands, and she’s being obnoxious. Brittany swoops down on them, and says, no more fighting. In Kristen’s interview, she says she feels like she’s on a friendship peninsula that’s turning into an island. Her two best friends want nothing to do with her. She can’t imagine doing that to anyone.

At SUR, Dayna and Adriana (not Madix) commiserate about the restaurant being busy. Adriana asks what’s the deal with Dayna and Max, and Dayna says they’re exclusive and dating. Adriana says, this is awkward, but she saw Max with another girl. He didn’t see her, but he was with a girl, and they seemed friendly. It was right after Pride, and she told Danica about it. They stalked the girl on Instagram, and she thinks she found her. She shows Dayna a picture, and Dayna says, that’s TomTom’s Pride shirt. In her interview, Dayna says the shirts were made for Pride at TomTom’s, and Max was the only person who had them. He didn’t even give her one. Adriana says Dayna knows what happened with her and Max, right? It’s the same pattern. Dayna says she literally (she loves that word like Christian Siriano loves awesome) feels sick. In her interview, she says, everybody was right about Max. He’s a f***boy. Adriana says, Max is not a good guy, and Dayna says, wow.

Stassi’s mother is there for the wedding, and in Stassi’s interview, she says, Brittany is so into family, she let them invite anyone they were related to. Brittany says they’re getting mani/pedis tomorrow, and she’s so excited. Lala tells Brittany that she’s marrying the love of her life, and they’ve gone through some sh*t. In Brittany’s interview, she says she and Jax planned everything together, and it’s weird he’s not there tonight. She’s hoping he’s okay. In Jax’s interview, he says he stayed in. He needed time to himself, and to spend with his father. He knows his father is out there, and when he thinks about him too much, he goes into a hole. He wants to make his father proud. Getting hammered isn’t it, which is why he’s not going. He’s doing what he thinks is right. Lala asks Brittany about Lisa, and Brittany says she texted Lisa before they left L.A. She told Lisa not to stress about the wedding.

Beau wonders who will cry. Tom says, if Brittany cries, he’s going to cry, and they hug. Kristen asks Beau if he’s having fun. He says he is, and she says they were friends even before he met Stassi. He says he’s still her boy, but it’s different now. He and Stassi are in a relationship, and Stassi is his number one. At this point, Kristen leaves the real world, and says she’s tired of everyone coming down on her about Carter. She and Stassi were arguing earlier, and she wants to know why she’s being dragged for something that’s hard for her. No one is asking if she’s cool. She calls him self-involved, says, screw you, and goes off on him for favoring his girlfriend over her. In Beau’s interview, he says Kristen is giving him anxiety just listening. She talks to you and over you, and doesn’t get it. Beau suggests they get unselfish, and focus on Brittany and Jax. They clink plastic cups.

Brittany tells Jax, one more day. She wishes he would get a pedicure, but he says he wouldn’t do that to someone. Wedding planner Mitchell knocks on the door, and brings in what looks like a small woodgrain upscale cooler. In Jax’s interview, he says his dad has been in a box for two years. He talked to Mitchell about what to keep him in. He likes to take him out, and put him in the front seat for a drive, or take him out in the backyard. Jax gets all emotional, and thanks Mitchell.

Everyone nurses their hangovers, and gets ready to go to the pool. Lala stops by Scheana and Kristen’s room She asks if Kristen is grumpy, and Scheana says Lala was kind of yelling at Kristen. Lala thinks they have a different point of view about yelling. Kristen says she’s tired of it. You don’t treat the people you love like that.

Katie tells Schwartz that Kristen makes her feel psycho, and he says he lived with Kristen. She’s the only person he’s ever wanted to murder. Beau tells Stassi about how Kristen got upset when he told her that Stassi was number one in his life. Stassi says, Kristen needs to understand that she’s not number one in someone else’s boyfriend’s life. In Stassi’s interview, she says, when Kristen slept with Jax, she had to get over it. She doesn’t like when Kristen texts Beau to discuss a falling out with her. She thought nothing could shake their unbreakable bond, but no, sh*t can. She tells Beau, Kristen is a psychopath, and Beau suggests they stay on opposite sides of the pool. Stassi says, once the wedding is over, she’s saying goodbye to Kristen.

Schwartz and Jax stop by to get Beau on their way to the pool. The guys ask what Jax did last night, and he says he watched Friends. He can’t do three nights in a row of drinking. Schwartz says he was never legally married, since there was no license. Stassi is shook. In Schwartz’s interview, he says it was his duty was to make sure the license was in a secure place, and he lost it. It was a piece of paper, and he didn’t understand it was important. He let it slip to the one guy he shouldn’t have let it slip to (Jax?), and now that the cat is out of the bag, he needs to tell everyone first. Stassi asks how he and Katie do their taxes, and he says, married, separately. She says, but they’re not married. In his interview, Jax says he never thought he’d be the first guy out of the group to be married.

At the pool, Stassi says she’s upset with Katie. She thought they had no secrets, and Katie isn’t married. In Katie’s interview, she says she planned the entire wedding. This is on Schwartz. We see a clip of them with Lisa at their wedding, and Lisa asking about the license. Tom says he doesn’t know where it is. Stassi shouts that Schwartz and Katie are single.

Scheana tells Lala about James blowing up her and Raquel’s phones, after Raquel went out drinking with her and some other friends. She had twenty-two missed calls. Ariana says, James was texting Raquel messed up stuff, and she warned Raquel that she was going to start believing what James was saying if it continues. Scheana says Raquel and James talked, and James said he’d go to an AA meeting. Lala asks if she’s sure he said he’d go to a meeting, and Scheana tells her, he’s never said that before. Lala says, it’s the first step. In Lala’s interview, she says she’s seen James at his best, and she’s happy for him. She tells Scheana, she’d be more than happy to talk to him about her experience, and Scheana thinks that would mean something. Lala says she’ll reach out. Right now, she has to pick Rand up.

Tom asks Brittany if they’re going to Lexington tonight, and she says they’re going to a cool speakeasy for a meet and greet, then the girls and guys are separating. Stassi sees Kristen talking to her mom, and says Kristen is tainting her brain. In her interview, Stassi says Kristen latches on to her friends and family, and talks to them and texts them. She sees Stassi’s mother more than she does. She tells Katie about how Kristen got mad that Beau wouldn’t put her first, and Katie thinks it’s weird. So do I. He’s not her brother for God’s sake.

Max comes by Dayna’s apartment, and she asks if he has anything he thinks he needs to tell her. He says, no, and she says, he’s not dating this girl? She shows him the picture, and he says, no, but he sure looks guilty. He said he’d been seeing her in San Diego, and then she moved there. Dayna asks if she moved there for him, and he says he was easing her off of him (oh please). Dayna asks why she has a Pride shirt, and he says he gave one to everyone. She asks when was the last time he saw her. He says after Pride, and Dayna asks if they went out alone. He says they did, and Dayna asks if he screwed her. He says, no, and in his interview, he says he’s tired of defending himself. They went to lunch, and it was like lunch with his mom. He threw a shirt at her before they parted company. It’s not like she was naked in his bed and had no shirt to wear. He tells Dayna, he feels awful about how she feels, but he’s wondering if this is a good idea. Dayna says, screw it. She’s not into this bullsh*t; this is done. Max says, that’s it? In Dayna’s interview, she says she’s hurt right now. This is not how she saw things going with him. She has sensitivity to someone wasting her time or not valuing her. She puts his necklace in the litter box, and swirls it around. She tells the cat, when she sees him at TomTom, hitting on every girl and their mother, she’ll know he’s wearing a poo necklace, and she’ll feel better about that.

At the speakeasy, Stassi and Katie try to avoid Kristen. Ran arrives, and there are hugs all around. Everyone goes into shock when they see he brought Lisa. Brittany starts crying, and hugs her. Lisa hugs Jax, and says, it was last minute. She thought she’d be in London, but the funeral was delayed until next week. In her interview, she says the funeral was happening later than she thought it would, and she realized she could make the wedding. She called Rand, and said they needed to get there asap. Puffy! She’s there to support Brittany and Jax, and show how happy she is for them. She can stand in the gap, since Jax’s mother isn’t there. In the light of losing her own mother, she understands the importance. Jax says, it means so much to him.

Jax sit with Lisa, and outside the window, Lexington’s Gay Pride is going on. Jax says he’s got to laugh. Lisa asks if his mother had any reaction to the wedding weekend, but he says he doesn’t know. His godmother Jane is giving him away. He chokes up, and says they’re the family he has, since he only has his sister Jenny. He appreciates Lisa being there. In his interview, he says she’s been like a mother to him since they met. He looks up to her, and since he has no parents there, having an alternate parent is wonderful.

Brittany keeps up her mantra of I’m getting married. Stassi can’t believe Lisa is there, and says Lisa won’t believe what she found out. Lisa asks if it’s something important, and Stassi says she thinks Lisa might laugh. Tom and Katie aren’t legally married. Lisa asks what she’s talking about. In Lisa’s interview, she says, you’ve got to be effing kidding. All the effort she put into writing the vows – we flash back to the ceremony – and they’re not even married. She put more into it than they did. Everyone looks out the window to see Beau line dancing. Stassi says she loves it so much. In her interview, she says it warms her heart that he’s extra. It makes life lively, and he brings the energy up wherever he goes. She’s not like that.

James goes to TomTom, and orders a Coke. He tells Max it’s weird that no one is there except them. Max says, someone has to run TomTom. They marvel at Jax getting married, and Max says he’s clearly not happy about what happened with Dayna. James asks if they were going official, and Max says they weren’t official, but he liked hanging out with her. Someone brought out an old girlfriend, and created a story when they saw them at lunch. Now they’re kind of ending it, and it’s a mess. In his interview, Max says it would have been fine if everyone had stayed out of their business. Max tells James, Danica has been saying negative stuff. In his interview, he says, Danica has been effing stuff up since day one. He doesn’t understand why she wants to sabotage him. He tells James, he wants to 86 Danica. James says Raquel gave him an ultimatum. She wants him to quit drinking; he thought she was about to whip him. Max can’t see Raquel mad, and James says he agreed with what she said. In James’s interview, he says he and Raquel talked about his drinking. He hasn’t gone to a meeting yet, and doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to drive across town, and talk to a bunch of people, eating donuts in a cold room, and listening to their stories. But if Raquel wants him to go, he’ll go. She means everything to him. Yeah. I can tell by the way he treats her.

20 hours until the ceremony. Jax asks if everything is okay, and Brittany says they’re getting married tomorrow. He asks if she wants to call it off, and she says, never. Tom says, it’s surreal that their boy is getting married. It’s a moment he never thought would happen. In Tom’s interview, he says, this isn’t just any guy. It’s Jax-effing-Taylor. He’s banged at least 300 women, and that’s just at SUR. He was a f***boy before it was a phrase. Brittany tells Jax, it’s the last time they’re going to see each other before they walk down the aisle. Schwartz says, Jax used to do full-on speeches about not getting married, and called him a chump. In Schwartz’s interview, he says when he flash backs to when they lived together, and fast forwards to now, it’s surreal. Brittany tells Jax, the big day is tomorrow. He says he’s going to hang out with the guys, but he’s not drinking anymore. Brittany says, let’s party, but be good.

The girls gather. In Brittany’s interview, she says she told them all to being onesies of something that would live in a castle, like a princess, unicorn, or mermaid. She loves the fantasy world, and was raised on everything princess. Kristen walks around with her onesie half falling off, and in Stassi’s interview, she says, Kristen is oblivious, and can’t keep it together. Stassi says Brittany is going to be part of a new family, and Brittany says she gets a new sister tomorrow. They have a twerking contest. In her interview, Stassi wonders how everyone suddenly became twerking masters. She feels she’s at a disadvantage with her flat ass. The girls screech over Brittany getting married, and she hopes Jax isn’t still drinking. She thinks it’s time to call it a night.

At the guys’ party, Beau shows up dressed as a knight. In his interview, he says, they are in a castle. He’s Sir Ladles-a-lot. He slays soups, and drinks shots. When Jax comes in, they all chant his name. Tom says he has everything. He even brought tampons – top of the line tampons. In Jax’s interview, he says, Jax doesn’t want to go away quietly. This is his last dance. He drinks out of the bottle, and says he probably should stop drinking. He tells the others, he’s not going to lie; he’s pretty sh*tfaced. He never thought in a million years he’d get married, but Brittany is the best woman for him. We flash back to the beginning of their relationship, and in his interview, he says she’s his best friend; his partner in crime. He 100% believes the person he was before, wasn’t good enough for her. We flash back to all the problems they had, and he says, when he cheated, it was typical Jax, sabotaging his relationships. He didn’t make the best decisions. Brittany could have left at any time, but she didn’t. He put her through hell and back, and she deserves the world. Tom says he’s about to be married for the rest of his life, and Jax says he’s super happy. In his interview, Jax says he’ll have to work on the relationship for the rest of his life. It’s not as easy for him as it is with other people. His life is in a good place. He thinks he’s grown, and doesn’t see himself going down that road again.

Katie says Brittany is a princess in a tower, and Jax is the Beast. Brittany says, he’ll be a prince tomorrow. She says she’s excited, and it’s time for lights out. In Jax’s interview, he says he’s scared. His worst fear is Brittany not being happy anymore.

Next time, the wedding is here! Stassi tells Beau, a proposal is the one part of her life she doesn’t have control over; Kristen calls out Carter for being abusive; and Dayna asks if Max still has feelings for her.

💃🏾 I checked out Family Karma, and although I couldn’t give it my full attention, it looked like fun. I love seeing how other cultures live, and they seem like a colorful bunch. No doubt there will also be marvelous food porn throughout the season. You can check the cast out here:


🎱 It Certainly Was…

I wish I could say I’m glad this day is over, but technically, it was over hours ago, yet somehow still kept going.

March 8, 2020 – The Fight Of Their Lives Begins, Lessons On Sunset, Time Change & Eugene’s Song


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


The Walking Dead

Beta hangs a gourd filled with resin on a tree. Negan sits with Alpha in a clearing, and says he thinks he graduated to the next level of kinky Whisperer sh*t. She wants him to take a switch and whip her forearm, but, seeing the stripes already on her arm, he says she seems to have been cut up enough. She holds the switch out, and he lashes her arm. She says, again, he does it a second and third time. She says, now him, and he wonders if they’re bonded for life. She says, depends, and lashes his arm with the switch.

Zombies toddle forward with Beta and the others. Beta says, we are in the end of the world, and they chant, we take them all, over and over

Over the radio, Eugene tells Stephanie that the LP is MIA. She says she wants to hear the song, and tells him to sing it, but he says only a fool would attempt such a song without accompaniment. He says he counted three, and she says, three shooting stars? He’d better not be counting satellites; she saw one recently. He says, around sunset? and she says, yeah. He says, they’re close; only few hundred miles at most. She says he promised not to tell anyone, and he says he can’t help but believe their meeting was celestially ordained. She says her people are overly cautious. He tells her that he’s in Virginia. He gives her the details, and says, pick a day, and neck of the woods, so they can meet face to face. If she doesn’t like the cut of his jib, she can adios herself. He’d like to meet her. She says she’d like to meet him too. She’ll talk to her people. He says he’ll do the same. She says, don’t tell anyone. She’ll see what her people say first. He promises. They sign off, and he laughs to himself.

Earl and Alden see Aaron coming in a wagon, and wonder who the new person is. Alden asks if Alexandria took in another stray, but Earl says, they’re on lockdown. Aaron and his group come in, and Alden asks Aaron, who’s that? Aaron says, Mary. She ran away from Alpha’s camp, and she’s helping them out. Alden asks what she’s doing at Hilltop, and Aaron tells him that Adam is her nephew; she wants to see him. Earl says, no. The enemy is not seeing his son. Aaron says, she’s not the enemy, but Earl tells him to keep her away from his kid. Earl tells Alden what did Aaron think he’d say? They left Adam out to die. Alden watches Mary.

Ezekiel finds Carol in a ragged tent by the water. She asks how he found her, and he says, this is Daryl’s place. He thought she needed some comfort. He tells her that Kelly made it back. He heard what happened at the cave, and he was worried about her. He asks her to come back. He sits next to her, and says then he’ll sit there, and they’ll get eaten be mosquitoes together.

Luke tells Kelly she can’t walk, but Kelly says she’s not leaving her sister. She’s going with the rest of them. Yumiko says they’ll never know if the ceiling caved in, and Kelly says, if she thinks it’s futile, why is she coming? Daryl drives in with Lydia on the back of his bike. Luke asks if he found them, but he says they didn’t get that far. Luke says they’ve got to find their people, but Lydia says they can’t go out there. Her mother’s coming.

Rosita hears Stephanie saying she has one more question. She picks up the microphone, and asks, who is this? Eugene flies down the stairs, pushing her out of the way, and taking the microphone. He says, Stephanie, but there’s no answer. He tells Rosita, she needs to go now. She looks terrible. She says, a giant Whisperer took a swipe at her, and asks, what’s up his butt? He says he says someone trusted him to have a conversation mano a mano, and she made him break that promise. She needs to go before he says something he’ll truly regret. She leaves, and Eugene tries to get Stephanie back, saying he made a terrible mistake. He’s sorry. Does she copy?

Negan tells Alpha, he has some unsolicited advice. He knows it’s everyone’s favorite kind, but he can’t help himself. He’s thought of an idea that maybe she hasn’t. He respects a well-deserved massacre, but why take out Hilltop and Alexandria? She might feel better, but she should get those a-holes to surrender; bend the knee. He can get them to join them.

At Hilltop, Yumiko tells some scouts, if there are any signs of a Whisperer movement, let them know. Lydia says they can kill a hundred, but Alpha will have thousands left. They can’t stay. Earl says he’s not running again, but Alden says they can rebuild. Earl asks if any of the scouts have seen a place like Hilltop, and Yumiko says they only have a few dozen fighters; she doesn’t like the odds. Aaron says they don’t have to die, but Earl says if they can die fighting for a place like Hilltop, it will mean something. He can’t think of a better way to go. Aaron says they can go with his daughter’s life intact, as well as the other children. Daryl says they need to get the kids out first. Pack up. They’re going to Oceanside. Get weapons, food, whatever they can.

They pack up some wagons. Judith tells Daryl, she wants to fight. He says he knows she does, and puts RJ in a wagon. He sees Ezekiel and Carol walk through the gate.

Daryl leads the caravan through the forest, and comes to a roadblock (or pathblock, as it were) of downed trees. They look up, and zombies are hanging above them. Daryl says, it’s going to be like this now. We ain’t getting through. It’s Negan. He’s with her now.

Grace yells for Aaron, who comes out to see Daryl is back. Aaron asks, what happened? and Daryl says, the roads are blocked; they’re closing in. They had a window to get out, and missed it. Kelly tells him, he can’t say that. They all agreed they can’t stay there. Luke says, they can contact Alexandria, and get fresh fighters; it won’t be just them. Alden says they can’t get there in time. After what happened, they’re on their own. Earl tells them to divvy up the arsenal, and bring out the catapults. It’s what they’ve been practicing for. He tells them to get their heads on straight. This is going to be the fight of their lives.

Ezekiel opens a closet, and opens a chest of garments he uses to hide his tumor. There’s a knock at the door, and he closes the chest. It’s Carol, who sees the chest, and then his neck. He says, it’s nothing, and she says, never bullsh*t a bullsh*tter. He says he wanted to tell her. She she touches his neck, and kisses him. They get busy, because now’s the time for that.

Mary sees Adam, and starts to walk toward him. Alden asks where she thinks she’s going, and she tells him, to say hello to her nephew. They’re coming any second. He says, who’s fault is that? and she says she hates them too. Aaron steps in, and says Mary’s not going to hurt them, and she says she wants to fight. Alden says Earl is a better father than his own. They lost Tammy, and he’s been raising Adam alone. Adam isn’t hers, and never will be. Aaron thinks he’s being unreasonable. If they die, it will be for what they’re trying to build – for him. He picks Adam up.

Basking in the afterglow, Ezekiel says, that was fun. Carol says, that was never a problem. He says at least he’ll be remembered fondly for something. Not even an eyeroll? She’s lost her sense of humor. She says she hasn’t. She left it on the dresser in the Kingdom, and it burned down. He says, if it makes her feel any better, he left his pride there too. She says she hated that dresser anyway. He asks if this would have happened any other night, and she asks what he means. He says, if she didn’t think they were going to die tonight, and she says, they’re going to die tonight?

Eugene hooks up batteries to a truck in the woods. Rosita comes by, and says Coco is fine, but she’s worried about how close Beta got to her. He asks if she told Gabriel about the horde, but she says, hell no. She’ll tell him when she sees him. Rosita says she noticed he’s been working on his radio transmissions, and gives him something to drink (moonshine?). She asks if he likes the girl from the radio, and he says he knows his unpleasant countenance is unworthy of her attention. Rosita says they’ve been talking long enough for Eugene to know she likes him. Does he want to kiss her? Eugene gets close, and he and Rosita almost kiss, but he backs away. He says, it’s a special kind of peculiar, hankering for a kiss from someone you haven’t met. But it’s not time to be mulling matters of a forlorn heart. Rosita suggest that’s what they put on his gravestone: a loser with forlorn heart. She tells him, the skin freaks would love it if they rolled over. Screw that. Screw them. She says, if Eugene likes this girl, get off his ass and go get her. He kisses her cheek, and jets.

Lydia sits on the porch of a building, and sees heart with H+L in the center that she and Henry made way back when. Carol sits next to her, and lights a… where the hell did she get a cigarette??? Carly says Lydia should hate her, but Lydia says it’s hard when Carol seems to hate herself so much. Carol says she couldn’t kill Alpha, and Lydia says it won’t save them anyway. Carol says, but it would feel good. Lydia says she won’t be thinking about Carol, and Carol thanks her for telling the truth. Lydia says, people don’t know how to do that anymore. She’s sorry Carol’s kid died, and sorry Carol hates the world. She’s sorry her mother is a monster. Carol stays away, but then she feels lonely. Carol says, she had a whole life. She leaves, and Lydia tries not to cry.

Kelly and Luke make spikey things for the zombies to walk into. Yumiko tells Kelly that she’s sorry, and Kelly hugs her. They see rats running out of the woods, and Yumiko says, the horde is coming. Run back!

Eugene starts to sing When the Wild Wind Blows over the radio. As he sings, we see everyone getting ready. Some are putting the kids in a safe place, some getting dressed for battle, some are practicing technique. Judith gets on the radio, and Aaron says, give Mary a weapon. Daryl watches. Stephanie sings a verse back to Eugene, who smiles, then laughs. He says she’s got nice singing chops. She says she’s sorry for disappearing; she freaked a little. He says it falls squarely on him. He let his guard down, and apologizes. She says, it was a girl, and he says, Rosita. She says she can hear him smiling; he must be fond of her. He says, yes, very. She’s his proverbial BFF. He hopes they get a chance to meet. Stephanie does too, and Eugene says he doesn’t know when they’ll speak next. The last few days were incredible. She says she’s in West Virginia, and gives directions to a spot in Charleston, asking if he can be there in a week. He says he’ll be there, and not square. Over and out. Rosita asks if he’s ready, and he says, let’s get it over with. He’s got a date.

Ezekiel starts to put on a scarf, and sees Daryl in the mirror. Daryl asks if he’s okay, and Ezekiel says he has cancer, but it’s okay. Daryl says he’s sorry. They never had much to say to each other, but that doesn’t mean Daryl doesn’t know what Ezekiel has been through. Ezekiel is stronger than a lot of people there, and he’s glad. Ezekiel says Daryl is too, and thanks him. It means a lot. Things are going to get bad. He wants to know the kids are all right. If things go sideways, and something happens to either one of them, the other will get children out. He and Daryl shake on it.

Daryl finds Judith sitting by herself, and tells her to go be with the other kids. She says she can fight, and he says he knows. He’s sorry about today. She didn’t need to see any bodies. She says, they were just walkers, and she’s killed plenty of them. He says he knows, but they weren’t just walkers. She says she’s not scared, and he says he knows, but maybe he is a little. Maybe she could take care of RJ. She says she’s worried that he might get hurt, and she’ll lose him and Carol. Daryl says, there’s no shame in that, and knowing who you’re fighting for. She says she made him something for luck, and brings out his vest with the wings on the back. She’s repaired it. He puts it on, and he asks how he looks. She says, good, and he says, one other thing. If during fight, Ezekiel comes looking for her, go with him, whether or not she knows where he is. She has to promise. She does, and they hug. He leaves.

Carol looks at the portrait of Henry, and goes outside. She sees Daryl, and says, please don’t hate her. He turns around to face her, and says he’s never going to hate her. She cries a little, as he walks away. He picks up a weapon on his way to the gate. Outside, the first several lines of defense wear armor and carry shields, with more armed people behind them. They wait, as Daryl goes to the front.

It’s quiet. Kelly feels the ground, and nods at Yumiko. We can see a cloud on the distant horizon. A lone zombie toddles out. The rumble of zombie snarling is heard. Aaron tells everyone, get ready.

The horde moves forward, into an electrified barbed wire fence. It slices the first zombie’s head off, but they’re not too bright, and keep coming. They walk into the fence, even as it cuts them, but eventually their pushing against it, causes it to give. The wires start to spark and sputter, and short out as the zombies break through. Even I’m scared. Aaron says, break, and the shielded soldiers separate into two groups, and move toward the horde. They stab, whack, slice, chop, bash, and shoot arrows. Here’s where it pays to be pissed off.

Beta strides through the forest to a clearing, where the Whisperers wait. They put gourds, like the one he hung on the tree, into giant slingshots. I say many bad words. The balls splatter, and Luke says, it smells like a Christmas tree. Fires begin in various places.

Negan – who’s finally gotten his mask – tells Alpha, he thought she wanted Hilltop to join them. She says she does, but as part of her horde. He says, holy sh*t. She is a badass.

Daryl yells for everyone to go back inside, and they back up. The zombie horde pushes completely through the fence, and the Hilltoppers take off toward the gate. The Whisperers shoot flaming arrows at the walls of Hilltop, which burst into flames. Hilltop becomes an inferno, and everyone is like, fu…dge.

Next time – Alpha doesn’t have anything she wants, Negan says he’s found what she’s looking for, and the battle continues.

Shahs of Sunset

D’oh! Even though I posted it about the date change, I forgot the Shahs moved to Friday. Since I had four billion other things to do this weekend (slight exaggeration, but close), and we had the stupid time change, tonight’s recap is abbreviated somewhat. Which is a good or bad thing depending on your perspective.

Upon waking up with Adam at the Waldorf Astoria, Reza felt like he was a 65 year old hooker who’d worked the strip all night. Sara tried to get ahold of her brother Sam, who’s hooked up with Destiney the night before. When Destiney was asked what she remembered, it didn’t sound like much. She told Sam that she had plans to have breakfast with Reza and her mom.

GG and Yasmin went to one of those paint your own pottery places. In GG’s interview, she said she couldn’t drink, and had to cut back on weed, so it didn’t give her much to do. I don’t even know what to say to that. Even though the implantation was done, she didn’t feel pregnant yet, and was waiting for that call. She told Yasmin that she misses weed, and insisted her kid wasn’t going to whine like the one wailing its head off at the pottery place. In her interview, she said she didn’t want a man, so she was bucking it up, and doing it on her own. She told Yasmin that she needed to find a dude who was super chill with having sex with women who are pregnant, and I went ♫ la-la-la! ♫ Yasmin said she was too Persian for all that. I must be too.

Breakfast at the Waldorf looked amazing. A lot of these shows have a food porn subplot for me. Reza sized up the situation with Destiney and Sam pretty quickly – new outfit, same outfit. Destiney’s mom was early, and in Reza’s interview, he said, Persian moms don’t interact with their kids tricks. Destiney introduced them and Sam couldn’t jet fast enough. Reza was excited to see Destiney looking happy, but still gave her a hard time, asking, who was that man? When mom Tammy was like, yeah, who was that? Destiney distracted her with the food. In Reza’s interview, he was glad Destiney was able to meet with her mom, and said he thought part of her feel lost with her mom and sister living in Vegas.

Mike met with potential general contractor Barry. Bringing Paulina along, he wanted to check out one of Barry’s construction projects before hiring him. In Mike’s interview, he said he was under an immense amount of pressure. It was the first test his parents were watching to see if he passed. His dad was pressuring him to hire a guy he knows, but if he brought Barry on, Barry would be answering to him. Along with a building of apartments Barry had done, Barry showed Mike a proposal. Barry thought the project would cost around $8.5 million, while Mike had figured more like $7.5 million tops. Barry also expected the construction to last two years, and Mike asked if eighteen months was possible. In his interview, he said the difference between eighteen and twenty-four months was a significant number. They were losing $10K a month.

Sara went to Reza’s suite, wondering where Destiney and her brother were. Reza told her that they’d hooked up. In his interview, Reza said it was exciting to see Destiney with her guard down, he was afraid she’d regret not spending more time with her mom. Tammy told Destiney it was time for her settle down with a good man. Destiney told Tammy that she thought it was safer not to let someone in. She wouldn’t get hurt that way. Reza told Sara, they came, they saw, her brother conquered. Sara said that was his normal day.

Nema took Persian dance lessons, since Persian dancing gives him anxiety. His dad had taken away all Persian influence when he was growing up. Destiney joined him at the lesson. In his interview, he said he was a good dancer, but a bad Persian dancer. By the end of the lesson, he got the shoulder moves down.

Adam met GG at a cat café, where she wanted all the cats, as did I. In her interview, GG said she loved Adam, but until she got confirmation that she was pregnant, she was keeping it to herself. She told Adam that a work thing kept her from going to Vegas, and he told her that Destiney and Sam hooked up. GG did a spit-take with her lemonade when Adam said Destiney was straddling Sam at the golf range, and then she made Adam demonstrate. In GG’s interview, she said she wouldn’t be thrilled if she was in Sara’s place. She told Adam that Destiney always claimed to be a ride or die chick, but she wasn’t riding for another girl. She was just riding.

After their lesson, Destiney told Nema that Sam had been calling and texting, accidentally opening a d*ck pic in front of him. Nema got a text from Paulina, asking him to meet, and we flashed back to him kicking Mike out of his house. He told Destiney that he was shocked Paulina reached out to him, and Destiney said Mike was vulnerable with Paulina, and probably said things to her that he couldn’t say to Nema.

Nema met Paulina, and immediately asked if Mike knew about them getting together. Paulina said he didn’t, but didn’t think he’d be upset. She told Nema that Mike looked at him like a younger brother, and felt attacked. Nema had said Mike was a cheater and a liar, and that he questioned her allowing her kids around him. She wondered why her kids got pulled into it, and was offended by it. Nema explained that Mike had said Erica must be weird, and there was something mentally wrong with her for waiting seven years for a divorced guy, and he just went off. He apologized, and told Paulina that Mike had a history of picking on him. We flashed back to some of that, and Nema said the older brother was bullying the little brother. At the mud run, Mike had said Nema stole a company from him, when Mike was the one who tried to screw him and Shervin out of a deal, and lied about it. He wasn’t sure if Mike’s supposed positive feelings toward him were real or not. Paulina said she’d given Mike a clean slate when they got together, but Nema said if Mike couldn’t apologize, like Nema just did with her, he didn’t know if they could remain friends.

In her interview, GG explained that since she missed Vegas, she wanted to bring everyone together with a cooking class. The usual suspects gathered, along with GG’s friends Anita and Yasmin, for a cooking lesson and dinner with Chef Nicole. It was also a competition, which GG said a Persian could never pass up. She grouped everyone into three teams of three – GG, Reza, and Yasmin; Anita, Destiney, and Adam; and Sara, Nema, and Mike – deliberately putting Nema, Paulina, and Mike on the same team. Mike and Paulina were late, so they started without them.

On the way there, Paulina told Mike about her meeting with Nema, saying she’d wanted to confront Nema about the way he treated Mike. In Mike’s interview, he said he thought it was a huge slap in the face for Nema to agree to meet with Pauline. It was like Nema was trying tell him that he’s not in control. No comment. Mike asked Paulina to communicate with him first if she does something like that. She need to know what she was doing, and why. He said, those guys can be wolves.

The first dish the teams made was yogurt dip. By the end, Adam’s team was just throwing things in, but somehow they won. In Nema’s interview, he said what he lacked in Persian cooking skills, he more than made up in with his Persian Postmate ordering skills. When Mike arrived, Reza said he had good news, and bad news. The good news was, Paulina was on his team; the bad news was, Nema was on his team. When they made tahini, Chef Nicole told Mike’s team they were almost there, and Mike said that was the story of his life, but I wasn’t sure what exactly he was referring to. This time, Reza’s team won, and Mike toasted to Vegas, saying Destiney got to see her mom and sister. Not being able to leave it alone, Reza added, and bone Sara’s brother. GG asked if Destiney had talked to Sara about it, and Destiny said she didn’t need permission. GG said she didn’t find it funny, suddenly didn’t feel good, and headed for the door.

In her interview, GG said she felt a sharp pain, and she got scared she was having a miscarriage. It’s something she’s been waiting so long for, it scared the sh*t out of her. Anita and Destiney followed her out, and Destiney told her to calm down. Inside, Mike said, if you cry wolf enough times, people stop believing you. They sat down for the chef’s dinner, which rivaled the Waldorf’s breakfast. Reza got a text from Anita, saying GG was okay, but not feeling good; it was a weird stomach thing. Mike wondered if she’d touched the raw chicken, and Nema said GG hadn’t been drinking any alcohol. Destiney wondered if GG was pregnant, and Reza said, she could totally be pregnant. We flashed back to the Reunion, when GG told everyone about her plans. In Reza’s interview, he said, that would explain everything.

Nema asked if Mike knew about his lunch with Paulina – because, again, parties or public gatherings are the perfect time to bring up personal issues – and Mike said he just found out. Nema said he went on the assumption Mike knew, but Mike was already steamed. Nema said Paulina approached him, and Mike said Nema’s dad didn’t teach him how to be a man. Nema was like, don’t you talk about my dad, and in his interview, said there was a lot he could ask about how Mike’s parents raised him, but out of respect, he doesn’t. Destiney suggested they communicate properly, and Nema said if Mike did it again, there wouldn’t be a third time. Mike apologized, but in his interview, griped that he’d taken Nema under his wing. He’d been a good friend, given Nema advice, and helped him. Reza thought they should reconvene on that topic another time. In Mike’s interview, he said he thought Nema didn’t like that he and Paulina were in a good relationship. Nema was miserable, and wanted to make them miserable so they could join in on his pity party. At that point, the dinner broke up, and Reza said, this was a night.

Next time, Sara confronts Destiney, and Nema brings MJ to a pool party where she throws her drink in Reza’s face.

⏰ I Want It Back…


 🌬 You, Sir, Are No Iron Maiden…

Actually, he wasn’t bad. Time for me to breeze on out myself. See you on the deckside.

March 3, 2020 – Julian Shakes Down Linc, Mitch Gives Jim the Low Down, Wedding Week Begins & the Morning


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Brook accepts an award, giving a special thanks to Julian, for making this special moment possible. She finishes her speech looking in the bathroom mirror, and then does vocal exercises using her hairbrush as a microphone. Olivia asks if Michael heard Brook rehearsing in the bathroom, and he says he just hopes she doesn’t wake up Wiley, who’s cranky. Olivia says, it’s a small price to pay for a miracle.

On the phone, Ned asks what they mean be a dead end. He’s paying for answers, not excuses. He knows it’s complicated. Life is complicated and so are the Quartermaine finances.

Linc stands on the pier. Julian walks out, and without looking at him, Linc says, it’s about damn time. He has better things to do than freeze. Julian says he really can’t think of anywhere else he’d want to be.

At the MetroCourt, Peter says Maxie is quiet. Is it work or something else? She says she turned down Spinelli’s invitation to lunch. He’s just going to ask annoying questions, and she’s not subjecting herself to another inquisition. Peter is making an effort to get along; why can’t Spinelli? If he doesn’t trust her judgement, it’s his problem, not Peter’s. Peter says he doesn’t want to come between her and Spinelli, and she can’t keep avoiding Spinelli on his account. She says this is one of the reasons she loves him, and she’ll think about rescheduling. Peter says he has to talk to her about something else. Spinelli isn’t the only one questioning his past. She’s probably wondering what came between Finn and Anna, and it’s time he told her the real reason.

Alexis tells Valentin, a penny for his thoughts, and sets one in front of him. He says he was thinking about how far he’s come since they last stood on the terrace together, and she says, since he found out he’s not Mikkos’s son. He says it’s good of her to check on him, and she says she’s glad he’s in a better place, but she doesn’t think her pep talk had anything to do with it. What changed?

In Rice Plaza, Finn asks if Violet is ready for her ice skating lesson. She says she wishes she could have one every day, and he tells her, don’t be in a hurry to grow up. She says, look! It’s Anna! and Anna comes over to them. Violet asks if she’s come to skate, and Anna says she’d love to, but doesn’t want to intrude. She was getting some tea. Violet tells Finn, make her stay, and Finn says, it’s hard to say no to his daughter. He doesn’t want to disappoint Violet. Anna says, of course (🍷) not. Violet tells him to go get the tea; she wants to talk to Anna. He asks if Violet wants a hot chocolate, and Violet says, with extra whipped cream. Anna guesses she knows who’s boss in the relationship. Violet says she’s missed Anna, and Anna says she misses Violet too, and they hug.

Maxie asks if Peter was trying to protect her, and he says, maybe himself too. Whatever the reason, she needs to know what’s being said about him. She says she knows, and doesn’t care, but he says, please. A lot of people have questions about his past, and he’s come to realize, in the end, it comes down to love. That’s what it’s really about. Jason loves Sam, so he’s searching for someone to blame for breaking Shiloh out of custody, which led Sam to kill Shiloh. Robert loves Anna, so he’s skeptical of Peter because he’s Faison’s son. Spinelli’s love for Maxie, and his faith in Jason, cause him to distrust Peter as well. Then Finn and Anna became engaged, but because Finn loves Anna, he can’t bear the thought that she’s possibly being conned by the son she gave up, even though there’s no proof otherwise. Maxie believes him, doesn’t she?

Brook comes into the living room, saying, hello, beautiful family. It’s a gorgeous day. The sun is shining, and the birds are chirping. Michael says he heard one bird in particular, and Ned says he’s not sure Brook’s outfit is appropriate for the ELQ office. She says she didn’t think he was serious. She’s not equipped to answer phones. She calls him Eddie, and says he knows what it means to pursue a dream. Michael says he’s going to take off, but Ned stops him, saying he needs a witness so Brook can’t wriggle out of this. Brook says she thought Ned was challenging her to get her career in gear, but Ned says he was challenging her to grow up, and be responsible, like every other adult in the family. What she did was the opposite of responsible. Her contract is valid, and the producer refuses to sell it. Brook says she wouldn’t worry. She has a feeling Linc is coming around.

Julian tells Linc, some people think this is a bad neighborhood, but he likes the quiet. You could fall into the water, and no one would hear your cries for help. Linc asks if he knows Julian, and Julian says, maybe. He deals with a lot of people. Linc says he’s meeting someone, and he’s not into game playing with strangers. Julian says, you know who isn’t a stranger? Brook. Linc asks, what about her? and Julian says he thought Linc would never ask. He puts his hand on Linc’s shoulder, and says Linc has her under contract. He pulls Linc closer and says, that’s about to change.

Valentin tells Alexis, he was feeling defeated and hopeless, but realized it was just a temporary setback. He’s had them before. The great thing about setbacks is, they introduce you to your greatest strengths. She asks what he’s doing with his newfound strength, and he asks what she would do. Would she deny the legacy that’s rightfully hers? She says, if he’s talking about the Cassadine fortune, get over it. If he’s referring to the Cassadine name, he’s better off without it. Where has it gotten him? He says, Shakespeare would say, what’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. She says, words to live by, and he says, maybe, but he doesn’t agree. She says, unwise, but he says he’s keeping the name, and all that goes with it. With every drop of his blood, sweat, and tears, he’s earned it.

Alexis asks if Valentin is talking revenge, and he says, redemption. He was cornered like a common criminal, and wants his daughter’s respect. She says, if Charlotte is going to respect him, he has to respect himself. He says, not a problem, but she says he’s on the outside, looking in. She was too, and it wasn’t until she turned her back on the Cassadine name, and built a life for herself, that she got a modicum of self-respect. He says she might be right; he’ll look at it. She laughs, and says she won’t hold her breath. He says she’s too cynical, another thing they have in common. It took him learning about his sister to realize how alike they are. He kisses her cheek, and leaves.

Ned asks if Brook’s producer had a change of heart, and she asks if he thinks Linc has a heart. Linc is going to do what he thinks is best, and she thinks it’s in his best interest to tear it up. He says, whatever scheme she’s up to, stop it right now. He refuses to clean up another of her disastrous mistakes. Olivia says, they all know how he feels about the subject. Leo asked if Ned would visit him in the playhouse before he goes to the park. Ned says he and Brook aren’t finished talking, but leaves to find Leo. Brook asks if Ned is always such a sourpuss in the morning, and Michael says Ned is worried about her. She says he has a funny way of showing it, and he says, sorry if he made it worse by teasing her. He hopes she succeeds. She says she wishes him only happiness with Wiley; he’s so cute. Michael says, he is, but it’s hard for him to adjust right now. She says, he doesn’t know what a bad thing Brad did, and Michael says he has to make up for lost time, and forge a relationship. It’s different for Willow and Lucas. Willow is grieving a son she didn’t know was gone, and Lucas’s whole world has fallen apart. His husband is a liar and a kidnapper, and the son he loved isn’t even his. Brook flashes back to her conversation with Julian, and Julian saying Sonny will put a bullet in his back. It’s a lot of weight to carry, and what about Lucas? He’s going to lose another loved one if she puts a target on Julian because of her overactive imagination.

Julian asks if Linc is shaking because it’s cold. He pushes Linc toward the water, and Linc says Julian misunderstood. He really cares about Brook. Three albums in five years is the industry standard. Julian says he doesn’t know much about music. The car radio is about as far as it goes for him, but somebody like Brook doesn’t want to make music for Linc, and she doesn’t want to wait five years. She wants to fly solo. Linc asks if Julian is joking. Is he actually going to throw Linc in the water if he doesn’t let Brook break the contract? Julian says, it’s up to Linc. He has friends, a lot of them, and while he knows little about the industry, they know a lot. They can make it difficult for Linc to stay in business; deny him access to studios and distributions, disrupt his concerts, stop him from getting venues. He puts his arm around Linc’s neck, and says what happens next, is entirely up to him.

Maxie wonders how Peter can ask if she believes him. He says he’s the one responsible for the awkwardness between her and Spinelli. She kisses him, and asks if it answers his question. He says, very much so, but she says she’s not letting him off that easy. Don’t say he’s trying to protect her either. She’s not a fragile flower that wilts at bad news. Either they tell each other everything, or they don’t have a relationship. He says he was trying to protect himself. She asks if he’s worried she’ll believe what other people say about him. She believes in them. Too bad. No one can come between them, but them. He tells her she can come down off her soapbox now, but she says she likes it up there. He says she does look good on it. Obrecht comes in, and tells them, like a little girl with red shoes once said, there’s no place like home.

Anna asks Violet how Bella and Otto are. Violet says, they’re not talking. Anna asks, what happened? and Finn says, they had an argument. Violet says, Otto might change his mind if Anna visits. Anna say she knows how stubborn Otto can be at times. The skating instructor arrives, and asks if Violet is ready for her lesson. She tells Finn that his daughter is a great kid. Violet leaves with her, and Finn tells her, have fun. He’ll be watching.

Finn and Anna watch Violet skate. Finn says, it’s hard to watch when Violet falls, and Anna says, look; she’s back up. She asks how he is, and he says, her first. She wonders if they should continue talking about stuffed animals. They don’t have to be separated. They fell down, and it hurts, but they can get back up.

Obrecht gives Maxie some schnapps for her and Peter on those wintry nights, and some gifts for James. Maxie says he’s going to love them, and he’s going to love seeing his oma. She must have had a good time in Switzerland. Obrecht says, the spa was wonderful, and Peter asks if a tall, dark stranger swept her off her feet. She says she got something better; peace of mind. Maxie said Obrecht told her that she was going to do some soul searching, and Peter says, she has a soul? Obrecht says her problems are self-inflicted. She’s not unlovable, but hasn’t forgiven herself. Since Nathan’s death, she’s been angry at the world, in particular, Peter, as if he’s to blame, while she’s just taking on more blame. Maxie says, it doesn’t matter, and Obrecht says she realized she was angry with herself for not breaking away from Peter’s father sooner. Maxie’s phone rings, and she says, typical. She’s been trying to run something by Nina, and now she wants to call. Peter says, Obrecht was saying about his father?

Michael tells Brook, she’s not just talented. She has the presence that turns talented people into a star, and he’s sure she’s done what she can to make that happen. Brook says she’s got to go. Ned comes in, and says, tell him he ruined Brook’s good mood my mentioning the word job. Michael says, she’s just emotional. It’s an emotional time for all of them. Ned says, it’s almost too much to process, and Michael says, it’s as good a time as any to make his pitch. He’s been doing some thinking. Wiley is used to having Michael in his life, but not as a father. Olivia says, Wiley will come around; he’ll adjust. Michael says he comes home from the office, and kisses Wiley goodnight. He needs to sit down and have a meal with Wiley, play with him, and read him stories, not just at bedtime. Ned says Michael wants quality time with his son, and Michael says Ned has been good about pitching in at ELQ. He hates to ask Ned to do more, but he needs to take a leave of absence. He was hoping Ned could take over until he gets back.

Linc says, maybe there’s another way out of this. He could think more clearly if Julian would let go. Julian says, the way he sees it, there’s a plan A and a plan B. He already laid out plan A; tear up Brook’s contract. Linc asks, what’s plan B, and Julian says Linc goes swimming in the icy cold water of Port Charles harbor. He can decide. Valentin walks onto the pier, and asks, what seems to be the problem?

Julian tells Valentin, it doesn’t concern him. He’s passing on a message from a mutual friend. Valentin says, Julian has friends? Julian asks Linc, message received? Nod once for yes. Linc nods, and Julian says, good. He doesn’t want to meet again. Julian leaves, and Linc tells Valentin, he didn’t sign up for this. Julian said he’d make his life a living hell. Valentin says Linc has been well compensated for his effort, but Linc says, not really. No one told him that he could be ruined, or it could cost him his life. Valentin says, if Brook is having Julian threaten him, that means she’s desperate.

Ned tells Michael that he doesn’t have to step away. Wiley is comfortable with the nanny, and everyone is pitching in. Olivia says, before Michael knows it, Wiley will be going off to pre-K like any other well-adjusted, independent little kid. Michael says, Wiley’s life has been torn apart. Wiley needs to know he’ll be there, and his attention can’t be divided. Ned asks how long Michael is talking about, and Michael says, a month, tops. Ned tells him, how can he say no?

Anna says Finn is used to dealing with infectious diseases, but sometimes things just need a kiss to be made better. Finn says, a bandage is a temporary fix. Sometimes a cut runs deeper. Violet calls to them, saying, look at me, and Anna says, Violet is quite graceful. He says, she’s so resilient. Everything she’s been through has barely harmed her. Anna asks if Finn told the police about his suspicions, and he says he told his brother, but he didn’t mention Peter being involved with anything, or Anna withholding evidence. Anna asks what he actually told Chase, and Finn says he told Chase that he moved out because he doesn’t trust Peter.

Peter says, it sounds like the mountain air was refreshing and illuminating, and asks Obrecht, what else? She says it really hit her; all the ethical and legal lines she crossed in a desperate attempt to be worth of Faison. Peter says Faison had power over them, and she says, not any longer. She realized if she continued down that dark path, she could hurt Maxie and James, and she couldn’t bear it. She knows how he loves them, and nothing should ever change that. She says they’re very much alike. They’re both trying to live down their past. He says she used his past to her advantage, but she says she’s not that person anymore.

Ned calls his assistant to set up a meeting asap. He wants everyone to attend, including the executive staff and financial advisors. He’ll explain the CEO change when he gets there. Olivia says he forgot to mention, it’s temporary, and he says he’ll explain at the meeting. Olivia says, Michael might not want to give up his position, but Ned says, Michael has a lot going on. He wants to make things easier so Michael can take care of his son. She says, don’t kid a kidder, and he says he only has Michael’s best interest at heart. She says, as well as ELQ, and Ned says, not only is there a hostile takeover in the works, the Corinthos family is in turbulent times. ELQ needs more seasoned leadership. She says, nice speech, and he says when he sits down as CEO, he’ll make the deal permanent.

On the phone, Brook says she’s so sorry for what they’re going through. No matter what, they’re still a friend. Julian comes in, and she says, well? Did he give Linc the message? He says he was interrupted by Valentin, and she asks what Valentin was doing there. He says he doesn’t care. The point is, he had to walk away before Linc tore up the contract. She says, but he will, right? Julian says he’s gone as far as can go on own She says, if he walks away now, she’ll tell Lucas everything. How he knew about the baby switch, and caused the accident that almost killed his own son. Julian says she’s bluffing, and Brook says, try her.

Julian says Brook should stick to her singing career; he’s calling her bluff. She says she’ll tell Lucas everything, and he says she overheard him talking to Brad months ago, and thinks she heard him threaten Brad. She says he used the word eliminate, and he says he doesn’t know how many times he’s had an intense conversation with Brad. Brad has a talent of upsetting everyone he knows. She says, Lucas might have died in the accident, and he says, tell Lucas her fantasy. Maybe Lucas will believe her; then what? He’s lost his husband and son. Is she going to risk him losing any link to his father because he’ll be better off? She says, what about Sonny? He’ll take her at her word. He says she’s absolutely right, and Sonny will have him killed because her blackmail failed. Is she going to tell Lucas the reason his father is dead. Does she think her career is worth his death? She doesn’t say anything, and he says he didn’t think so. She pretends nothing gets to her, but he doesn’t think she wants his blood on her hands.

Valentin says if Linc is telling him it’s beyond his capabilities, then give back the money. Linc says he doesn’t want to blow the deal, but he wants to make it back to L.A. with his life and career intact. He’s not getting his hands dirty for Brook. Valentin says, Brook is ready to make a deal, and Linc is going to collect.

Michael thanks Diane for coming. She says his message was cryptic; what’s up? She knows Brad and Nelle swapped babies, and his survived, while Willow’s baby died. She’s incredibly happy for him. He says he’s still reeling, in a good way, of course (🍷). She asks what she can do for him, and he says he needs advice on changing Wiley’s name. She says, first or last? and he says, Wiley’s first name is what he knows, but he was never a Cooper or a Jones. He doesn’t know whether to give him Quartermaine or Corinthos. She says, they’re both notorious for different reasons, and he says he needs an objective opinion. What does she think is better for his son? She says, there’s no denying who Wiley is, or who he’s related to. Why not embrace and use both? He says, so Wiley Quartermaine-Corinthos? and she says, it’s a name to be reckoned with.

Anna says she and Finn are at an impasse. He thinks Peter is guilty, and she doesn’t believe he is. She asks if it’s a wall or an obstacle they can find their way around? Peter is a grown person, and has his own life. Is what he did or didn’t do worth sacrificing their future? He wishes it were that simple. He’d love pick up where they left off, plan a wedding, and have their happily ever after. She says, then let’s do that. Violet can be a flower girl, and carry a basket of violets. He says, if it was just them… He has Violet to look out for, and can’t take the same risk on Peter that she can. Violet comes back, and tells them the instructor said she was a natural. Finn says, of course (🍷) she is, and Violet asks if they can go back to Anna’s house now.

Obrecht says, whatever Peter did, whatever Faison led him to do, she understands. If he ever feels the need to unburden himself, don’t trouble Maxie. She’ll always be there to listen. He says she’s too kind. Maxie comes back to the table, and asks what Nina would do without her. She already did all the things Nina told her to do. Not to brag, but Nina needs to appreciate her more. She looks at them, and asks what she missed.

Finn fumbles with Violet’s jacket, and Anna says, step away from the zipper. She tells Violet, daddies are all thumbs when it comes to zippers. There’s so much they don’t know. Finn says, he’s practicing, and she says she gets it. He tells Violet, they’re going to be late for Brianna’s, and Anna asks her what they’re going to do with him. Violet doesn’t know, and Finn tells her, say goodbye to Anna, and let’s get going. Violet says she misses Anna, and asks if they can do this again. Anna says she’ll have to ask her daddy, and Finn says, we’ll see. He leaves with Violet, and looks back at Anna while they’re walking.

Obrecht tells Maxie, she just missed the most fascinating conversation. Who would have thought her time away would have brought her closer to Peter? Peter says, closer than she knows, and Maxie is glad they’re getting along so well. Peter says he is too.

Diane gets ready to leave, and Michael thanks her again. He asks how soon she can arrange the name change, and she says he might want to hold off on that officially. Wiley’s mother might have other ideas. He says, besides being involved in the baby switch, she attacked Willow. She’ll be back in prison. Diane says, that’s for a judge to decide. Until then, Nelle is very much a factor in Wiley’s life.

Brook meets Linc, who tells her that she needs to find new friends. The one he met belongs in a cage. She suggests they get it over with, and asks if he’s tearing up her contract or not. He says, for what it’s worth, he believes she has what it takes, and he’s sorry he won’t be the one to make it happen. She can forget the three record, five year deal. She has her freedom now. She says she’s not sleeping with him, and he says she doesn’t have to. She asks, what’s the catch; what does he want? He takes out a folder, and pushes it toward her. She looks at it, and he says, her shares in ELQ.

Tomorrow, Olivia asks if Brook got an actual offer; Jordan says she’s turning herself in; and Sonny tells Jason and Curtis that Cyrus is a threat, and they have to find a solution.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Benny says, a million dollars? and Candace says, it’s okay, The officer says she’ll be back with the receipt, and Benny asks for $100K in cash. The officer leaves, and Benny says, this is real. Girl, I love you. Candace says, he’d better, and he says, eight dollars; that’s cold. That’s what he’s talking about. She wonders what they’re going to tell Hanna, but he doesn’t care. He’s got a million dollars. He tells her, don’t worry about Jim, and asks what she wants to do. She doesn’t know, and he says, get out of there? She says, for sure. New York, L.A.. He says, that’s it, huh? Don’t look back. She says she won’t, adding, this is all too much. He says he’s getting back to work. He’s getting a truck, and buying a place. He says he’s going to get momma, but Candace says, she won’t move. Benny says, it don’t matter; she will. He thanks Candace, and she says she loves him. He says he loves her too.

Still in the hospital, Jim asks if David has come up with a plan. David says Jim doesn’t want to know what it is. Jim says he won’t tell, and David says he told George that Veronica shot Jennifer, but he didn’t buy it. Jim asks what George said, and David tells him that George thought he was being set up. That’s all he needs; that little weasel breathing down his neck. He can’t go after Veronica now. Jim says, an untraceable accident, and David says, like a plane crash? Jim says he doesn’t want to know. He asks if David talked to AG Kyle, and David says, once. Jim says, he hasn’t called again? and David says, no. Jim says, one bitch at a time. He hands David the papers he was served, and asks David to do him a favor and shred them. He can’t believe his own damn son shot him. David asks if he wants to see Wyatt, and Jim says he does. He is Wyatt’s father. David says, maybe he needs a new one. Jim wants to get out of the hospital. He’s been there long enough. He says he’s going crazy, and asks David, please, get the doctor. David says he’ll talk to Dr. Danny, and Jim says, use two shredders. David leaves, and Jim says, where’s my damn pants?

Veronica’s doorbell rings. It’s George, and she asks what the hell he wants. He wants to talk to her, and she asks if he brought chicken. He says, sorry, but she lets him come in. He says her home is always lovely, and she says, she’s a queen. Queens have lovely homes. What can she do for him? He says he’s letting her know, he spoke with David. David wanted immunity to testify against her for Jennifer’s murder. She says, is that right? He already has the perpetrator of that crime, doesn’t he? She asks if he’s not sure, and he says he’s not. She says he’s wasting his time; she had nothing to do with it. He asks if she was there. Veronica says, so David wants immunity. He asks again, was she there? She says David is playing him. He can blame anything he wants on her. George says that’s what he thought, but then he started thinking, there was so much bad blood between them. he might take David up on it. She tells him, do what he must. Can he leave now? He goes, and she calls David.

David asks why she’s calling, and she says she spoke with George. David says she went after his son, and she tells him, remember, she has evidence about the murder. He says, they both do, and she says, by the way, that girl is not his son. He should get a DNA test and see. He’s been played. Jeffrey might be Jim’s. He calls her a pathetic whore, and she says, thank you; she tries. He says he’s coming for her, and doesn’t need George to do it. She says he does; he’s a weak ass bitch. He doesn’t even know how to kill a bitch. He says she’s a murderer, and she says, bing, bang, boom, Erica. He says they’re coming for her, and she hangs up. She makes another call, and says, send over the candidates today. She knows she’s been putting it off, but she’s ready now. Send a lot over today.

Marty asks if Kathryn is sure she wants to do this. Kathryn says she does, and Marty give her a pen, telling her where to sign. He shows Hanna where to sign, and notarizes it. He tells Hanna, now she has power of attorney. Kathryn asks if she and Hanna can have a minute, but before he goes, how is bail coming? He says, it’s coming, and she asks if she called the judges she told him to. He says, no one wants to touch it. He’s sorry. She says, after all she’s done for them, and he says he’s on it. Kathryn tells Hanna, she can’t believe no one is calling back. Hanna says, that’s the way things happen for a lot of people. They have a saying; nobody loves you when you’re down and out. Kathryn says, it’s just sad. She’s glad she knows Hanna, and says her life is in Hanna’s hands. Wyatt is just hoping they don’t press charges, but it’s not going to work. Hanna says, it’s so sad, and Kathryn says she can’t think about it right now. Hanna says, maybe Wyatt will be sent to a prison where he can get help. Kathryn says, Wyatt tried to kill them. Hanna has too much of a soft spot for her son. Hanna says nobody is saying let him get away with it, but send him to a place where they could hold him and help him. Kathryn asks Hanna to go by the house, and check on things. Make sure the blood is cleaned up. She doesn’t want to see it when she gets home. Hanna says she’ll make sure. Kathryn says, she’s coming home; trust her. Can Hanna do it today, and make sure the plants are watered? Her accountant will come by and explain everything, but don’t let him do anything without seeing her first. She thanks Hanna, and Hanna says Kathryn knows she loves her. Kathryn says she does, and the guard says he has to take her back. Kathryn tells Hanna, to the presidential suite. Hanna says she’ll see Kathryn later, and Kathryn says, yes, she will.

Benny’s kidnapper comes into Jim’s room, and Jim asks what the hell he’s doing there. The thug says, he’s gone. The Malones came in and got him. Jim calls him a first class idiot, and says, go get him. The thug says he can’t. They told him not to, and he doesn’t even know why he was there in the first place. Jim tells him, get the hell out. The thug leaves, and Jim makes a call. He asks if he got a wire, and the bank officer says, yes, but it’s not what Jim thinks. It’s only for eight dollars. Jim says, that bitch. The officer asks what he should do, when Candace walks in, and says, hi.

Jim says he was just about to call her. She didn’t give him his money. She says, no; she did. He says, eight dollars. Care to tell him why? She says she was going to return all of it, but then Jim thought it was a good idea to kidnap her brother. He’s gone now, so that’s it. He says, give him his money, and she says, nope. He says she has no idea what he’s planning to do to her mother and brother if he doesn’t get it. She doesn’t think he’ll do anything, and he says, care to make a bet? She says, $7 million dollars. She just realized that she has a good, solid group of friends in the White House. He says, her name is mud in Washington, but she says she’s talking about the Malones. They’re loyal when you do them a favor. He says he’s done favors for them himself. She says, he also pissed them off, and he says, so will she. It’s only a matter of time. Until then, live it up. That’s his son’s inheritance, and he’ll chase her to the ends of the earth. She says, happy hunting, and he says he knows where her mother and brother are, and he’s going to get her. She says, okay. Her friend has something to say. Jim says, alert the media; she has a friend. Mitch comes in.

Mitch asks how Jim is doing. Jim says he’s been better; have a seat. Mitch sits on the bed, and asks if Jim remembers him. Jim says he does, and Mitch says they need talk about the money. Candace is special to them. Jim says, special to the Malones? and Mitch says, yes. Jim says he happens to know the Malones don’t like Black people. Mitch laughs, and Jim says he thinks that’s funny? Mitch says they like her. She did deliver War to them. Jim says she did that for herself, and Mitch says, it doesn’t matter. His grandma owes her a favor, and Jim knows how Grandma Rose is about favors. Jim says he does, but Candace owes him $8 million, and he’s going to get it back. Mitch says, he understands, but they’re not happy about how Jim harassed her mother and brother. Let this one go. Jim says he can’t; he’s going to get his $8 million back. Mitch says then he’s going to have to talk to his grandma and explain. Jim doesn’t think Mitch understands, and Mitch says, if he doesn’t let it go, he’s going to his grandma, and saying he got caught in the crossfire during Benny’s kidnapping. Jim says they both know that’s not true, but Mitch says, she won’t know. Forget about the money. Mitch doesn’t care how Jim handles it, but he has to let it go. Jim doesn’t know if he can, and Mitch says, a shotgun blast is just a warm up. Jim’s not going to win this one. Jim says Mitch wants him to let $8 million go for Candance because she did a favor? Mitch says she’s got the family behind her, and Jim knows what that brings. It’s his decision. This is just a warning. Jim appreciates him coming, and they shake hands. Mitch says, get better. When he’s gone, Jim says, son of a bitch. I’m laughing. That was fun to watch.

AG Kyle walks into his office to find Connelly sitting in his chair. He asks what he can do for Connelly, and Connelly says he just wanted to come by to look at his new office. He’s been asked to take the appointment. Kyle says he thought it would be Connelly, and Connelly says, confirmation is good. Kyle asks if he can get Connelly a drink, but Connelly says he never touches the stuff. Kyle says, good for him, and Connelly says he doesn’t seem convinced. Kyle says Connelly knows how this town is with rumors, and the rumor is, Connelly drinks a lot. Connelly says, you have to in this town, but no. He remarks that Kyle’s office is smaller and darker than he thought. He might paint. He wonders what Kyle is going to do now that he’s out of a job. Kyle says he has a few more months, but Connelly says, the day is coming. Kyle says, it is, for all of them. Connelly says, some sooner than others. Kyle asks if Connelly would like to see the cafeteria, but Connelly says he doesn’t want anything. He came to tell Kyle that he never liked him. Kyle is a slimy SOB. Kyle says, tell him how he really feels, and Connelly says he knows what Kyle did to his guy, and they don’t have short memories. Kyle asks if that’s a threat, and Connelly says to him, and his whole party. Kyle says he thinks they’re done, and Connelly says, they’re nowhere near done, but he’ll go. Before he does, one name for Kyle – Candace Young. Kyle says, that whore from Savannah, and Connelly says, that’s the one. Kyle asks why he cares, and Connelly says when Kyle tried to take his guy down, it was a personal vendetta. Kyle says, that was horseplay, and Connelly says he caused a lot of grief. Kyle says, tell Charles, it was politics; get used to it. Connelly tells Kyle, keep that arrogance. He hopes Kyle dotted every i, and crossed every t during his tenure. Kyle says he did, and Connelly says, then he won’t mind an open investigation into the entire justice department. Kyle says, go right ahead, and Connelly laughs, saying, no one wants that. Kyle knows if they look hard enough, they’ll find something. Kyle says, thanks for the warning. He’ll make sure his tracks are covered. Connelly says, that’s exactly what he wants Kyle to do. By the way, he farted in Kyle’s chair. HAHAHAHA!

Veronica looks at a candidate for maid, and says, all wrong. The agent says Veronica didn’t talk to her, and Veronica says she doesn’t have to. Exit through the garage. Next. The next woman walks up, and Veronica says, she looks like she steals. Exit. Keep them coming. The next woman holds out her hand, saying she’s loyal, and can clean all day and night. Veronica says, she’s wrong. Follow the others to the garage. She asks the agent if the only candidates are white women. She wants a Black woman who doesn’t eat fried chicken. No greasy maids. The agent says, that’s racist, and Veronica says, she’s Black; she can say it. She wants a Black woman who’s in shape, has class and style, and favors her. The next woman is Black, but Veronica says, not someone who looks like her mother. The woman says, Laura is running late; she’s coming from another job, but Veronica can’t discriminate against color. Veronica asks if white is a color. She’s a lawyer, and the first two barely got through the door, the others look like they’d steal, and the other two looked greasy. The last one looked like her mom, and was not what she asked for. Do her job. Laura comes in, and Veronica says Laura is her size. The agent thinks smaller, and Veronica asks what she’s saying. The agent says, nothing, and Veronica says, she’s hired. She drains her drink, and says she’ll take Laura upstairs, calling her Linda. Laura corrects her, and Veronica says, like she said, Linda. They go upstairs.

Justin pulls up to David’s house, and tells the guard he’s there to see Jeffrey. He’s a friend of his. The guard says he needs to talk to Jeffrey first. Can he tell Jeffrey what it’s about. Justin says he just needs to talk; he’s leaving town. He gives the guard his name, and the guard tells him, wait there. The guard tells Jeffrey that Justin is there, and Jeffrey says, tell Justin he’s not there. Wait. Let him in. The guard tells Justin, come on.

Justin tells Jeffrey that he looks great, and asks if he’s ever coming home. Jeffrey asks what he wants, and Justin says he’s leaving. He can’t take this anymore, so he’s done. Jeffrey says, okay, and Justin says that’s all Jeffrey has to say after what they’ve been through? Jeffrey says he’s sorry, and Justin says Jeffrey’s mom won’t let him be who he is, and won’t make them stop. Is Jeffrey in this with her? Jeffrey says, no, and Justin says, then make her stop. Jeffrey says, nothing can make her stop. Justin says Jeffrey is just going to let him go? and Jeffrey says he can’t stop Justin. Justin says, it’s because he’s seeing Madison, but Jeffrey says he’s not seeing anyone. Justin asks why Jeffrey is dressed up. Where is he going? Jeffrey says Justin said he was leaving, so he should do that. Justin says, wow. So cold. Jeffrey says, it’s a cold world. Buzz off. Justin says Jeffrey did this to him, but Jeffrey says Justin did it to himself. Justin says he begged for Jeffrey’s help. He’s sorry. Jeffrey says, goodbye. Justin says, goodbye, and leaves. Jeffrey wonders what the hell he’s up to.

Veronica tells Laura to dust all day; she likes it spotless. Laura has a pile of clothes in her arms, and Veronica says they’re going to charity. Laura says, some still have the tags on them, and Veronica says she didn’t get to wear them before the season was over. Does Laura like them? Laura asks if she’s serious, and Veronica says she can have them, on one condition. She has to wear them to work. (What is this? The Gap?) Laura says she can’t work in them, and Veronica says she can change when she gets there. She’s a giving person, and wants Laura to know what it feels like to walk in her shoes. Speaking of shoes, What size is Laura? Laura says, six, but tells Veronica her shoes are a little big. Veronica says, they’re not, and asks if Laura has a car. Laura doesn’t, and Veronica asks if she can drive. Laura says, yes, and Veronica says sometimes she’ll want Laura to take her car to the carwash. Let her show Laura around. This is gonna be fun. Not too obvious.

At county, Wyatt calls to Kathryn, who says she’s not in the mood. He says he thinks he wants to die. After all he’s done to her and his dad, he thinks they’d want him to die. Kathryn says she’s heard all this before, and he says she doesn’t think he’d do it. She says he’s in jail, and safe from himself. Just leave her alone. Wyatt asks if she wants to see how easy it is to kill yourself in there. He takes out a toothbrush, and says, you can easily get a shank like this. There’s a razor inside; he can slit his wrists. She tells him, don’t do anything stupid, and he says, it’s not stupid. It’s a way out. Doesn’t she think she and his dad would be happy. She says she’s not playing around, and he says, neither is he. He sets his wrist on one of the bars, and takes the razor blade out. Kathryn calls for a guard, but Wyatt says he timed it so it’s the guard’s shift change. Tell his dad that he’s sorry. She says, please, and he cuts into his wrist. She calls again for the guard, and asks, what has he done?

Next time- the mid-season finale – Hanna says she’ll have Candace and Benny arrested, Jim plans an accident, the AG says the favor Jim did doesn’t pay this kind of debt, and Wyatt collapses.

Vanderpump Rules

It’s Stassi’s birthday, and she says she didn’t want sh*t to happen. She wants all or nothing, and with so much going on – her sister’s wedding, and Brittany and Jax’s wedding – this time, she wanted nothing. She and Beau meet Schwartz and Katie at a coffee shop. Katie tells her, happy birthday, and Stassi shushes her. Katie says, next year, and Stassi says she’s going to have so much built up birthday sh*t, it’s going to be like nothing they’ve ever seen. In Stassi’s interview, she says, this year, she’s a newly hatched baby dragon. Next year, she’s going to be in fully grown dragon mode, full of fire and anger, that didn’t die. We flash back to her previous birthdays. Schwartz asks if she’s ever revisiting the joint birthday, and we flash back to her Ice Queen party with Ariana. She tells Schwartz that she wasn’t really friends with some of the guests, and doesn’t want to make small talk. She says Jax and Brittany are going to Ariana’s birthday party, and she’s surprised. Schwartz wants to try and mend this. He wants to support Jax, but feels like Jax will regret it in the future if Tom isn’t there. In Schwartz’s interview, he says Tom is Jax’s best friend, but he doesn’t know if it will be the same after this. Stassi says, Ariana might not go to the wedding, Jax’s mom isn’t invited, and Lisa can’t make it. Stassi tells Schwartz to suggest Jax invite Tom back. In Stassi’s interview, she says she knows Jax and Brittany will ultimately want Tom there. If they don’t invite him, they’ll look back at it, and be sad. The waitress brings a cupcake with a candle in it, and Happy Birthday is sung. Beau blows out the candle, and unwraps the cupcake. I assume he eats it too, but we don’t see that.

Lisa’s business partner Nathalie comes by Villa Rosa with flowers. Puffy! She and Lisa hug, and Nathalie says she’s very sorry. She remembers Lisa’s mom as being flamboyant, smart, and gorgeous. In Lisa’s interview, she says her mother was in Mensa and could solve a Rubik’s Cube. She remembers going water skiing with her mom, and playing tennis. She says, there’s a progression with a parent, and maybe we get mentally prepared during that time, but her mother died suddenly from deep vein thrombosis – it came out of nowhere. Nathalie gives Lisa a photo of her mom in a frame. Lisa gets weepy, and Nathalie says she didn’t mean to make her cry. Lisa looks at a picture of herself with her mother, and says she looks so young. She tells Nathalie, life is difficult sometimes, and she doesn’t want to miss the good stuff. She can’t dictate when the funeral is, and told Jax and Brittany that she can’t be there. She tells Nathalie to have a chocolate, and Nathalie says, only if she can have the pink one. Lisa says Nathalie knows that’s hers.

Danica asks Raquel and Dayna to help fold napkins, since Peter didn’t make anyone do it last night. Raquel tells them that she went out with some of the girls last night, and drank way too much. We see her dancing around in someone’s InstaStory. She says she blacked out, but Scheana made sure she got home. She left her phone in the kitchen, and passed out. When she woke up, she had a million texts from James. Whore. Slut. Dayna says Raquel deserves better. In Dayna’s interview, she says she doesn’t care who you are, or if you’re drunk, or shooting heroin into your eyeballs. No one talks that way to someone they say they love. She says she’d tell him to suck an effing egg. In Raquel’s interview, she says she didn’t even look at all the texts. She didn’t want to see everything. A producer asks if she’ll read through them, and she reads. F*** you. I’m breaking up with you. Whore. Slut. Whore. F*** you. She says, it makes her literally want to throw up. Dayna says Raquel is so much better than that.

It’s Ariana’s birthday, and Tom asks if she wants a glass of wine, as she gets ready for the party. He brings her wine in a glass so big, it’s only slightly smaller than Amy Schumer’s joke glass. She says she finally slept, and Tom says he woke up before her, and let her sleep. In Tom’s interview, he says, Ariana has always dealt with depression. He’ll do anything he can to be there for her. He tells her that he figured he’d let her save up her birthday energy. She says she’s not woohoo about it, but she needed some reset sleeping. In her interview, she says, the last thing she wants to do is go to a party when she’s depressed. Life is made up of highs and lows, and she needs to learn to surf the lows better, and not drown in that ocean. She asks Tom if Jax texted back, and he says, no. She says, Brittany is coming, so she assumes Jax is coming with her. Tom says he didn’t think he’d change Jax’s mind. We flash back to Tom reading Ariana the text he sent Jax. He asks if Ariana has thought about what she wants to do about the wedding, but Ariana says she doesn’t know. She has to tell Brittany tonight. In Ariana’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to abandon Brittany, but Tom is her guy. It’s the hardest decision she’s made maybe ever. She tells Tom, there’s a lot based on this decision, and she doesn’t want to make one.

There’s a marquee outside the venue that says, Happy Birthday, Ariana, and it gets crowded quickly. Charli tells Dayna about her date with Brett. He said he wanted to get to know her, and then talked about himself and his ex-girlfriend. We flash back to that, and her saying she doesn’t sit through podcasts this long. She tells Dayna, they broke up two years ago. In Max’s interview, he says, the date sucked. It was like dealing with a child. She’s got to fix her sh*t. Lala says, Ariana is still not there. She is planning on coming, right? Last night, she told Ariana that she wanted her to be honest, and Ariana said she wanted to drive off a cliff. She’s going to be miserable in Kentucky without Tom. Brittany says it breaks her heart. Katie asks if Tom still isn’t welcome, and Brittany says, he apologized, but Jax is headstrong. She thinks if Tom isn’t there, Jax is going to regret it. She can’t stop thinking about it. Tom and Ariana arrive.

In Jax’s interview, he says, after twenty years of friendship, a text is like a slap in the face. All Tom had to do is say he was sorry. He doesn’t want to be walked on. In Stassi’s interview, she says, Jax and Tom have done worse sh*t to each other than this. We flash back to a few times they’ve gotten into fistfights. She’s pretty sure they can get past this. Stassi thinks if Jax doesn’t invite Tom, the friendship is done. Katie says she can’t believe Jax would give Tom a third chance at being best man, but Brittany says, he can just invite Tom. Stassi says they need to talk it out. In Brittany’s interview, she says, the situation has caused her so much anxiety. She hates it. Brittany asks to talk to Tom, and says she’s going to explode over this situation with Jax. She’s not going to hate Tom forever because of one argument. Tom says, when he left, he assumed the friendship was done. He was dead inside. He’s angry about it, and sad about it. He didn’t know what do or say. She says Jax was just looking for an I’m sorry, and Tom says he felt like Jax just wanted him gone.

Jax joins them, and says he thought the two people he wouldn’t have to worry about were his best men. Tom admits that he could have handled himself better. He didn’t want it to be like that. He apologizes. Jax says, it’s water under the bridge. Of course he wants Tom at his wedding. Tom says, whatever Jax wants. He can come as a guest. Jax says he still wants Tom to be best man, and they hug. Ariana hugs Brittany. In Tom’s interview, he says, I’m back. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he feels like he can breathe again. He’s been watching tutorials on how to tie a bow tie all week. In Jax’s interview, he says he’s not over it, but it was easier to give in. One less problem. Jax says, let’s have a good wedding. No more hiccups.

Katie tells Kristen, she’s getting the sympathy of going through a breakup, but she’s not actually going through one. She can’t watch Kristen drink the poison called Carter. If she wants to do that, Katie can’t help her. She asks if Carter is coming to the wedding, and Kristen says, of course. Katie tells her to stop saying they broke up. Katie says, no one gives a f*** if Carter is there. He’s only been invited because Kristen wants him there. Kristen says Katie is being super hurtful, and Katie says Carter hasn’t even been around them lately.

James tells Raquel, they probably won’t stay, but she says they were invited to a party. He should be happy they were, and be there for a second. She’s glad he’s not drinking tonight. They have to talk about the other night. The way he texted was completely inappropriate. He says, if she’d answered, he wouldn’t have gotten so triggered. Oh, okay. I guess it’s her responsibility to cover him in bubblewrap. In his interview, James says, when she doesn’t answer, he thinks she’s doing what he used to do. A girl like Raquel doesn’t get left alone at parties.

Ariana says she has to get Stassi a present, but Stassi says, no present. They sing Happy Birthday, but I don’t see a cake anywhere. Maybe Beau ate it. Ariana’s brother Jeremy is there though. Ariana says she knows they like it when she’s drunk. Yay for her being born.

It’s the next day, and Jax asks Brittany if she wants to call Lance. She says he’s in Hawaii, but they don’t have much time. He sent a transcript of the ceremony. Jax says he doesn’t want Lance talking more than four minutes. Brittany says everything in it is beautiful, and Jax asks if she thinks they can ask him to sing No Strings Attached. Brittany laughs, and says she’s so excited. Jax says, focus, and she calls Lance. Lance asks, what’s going on? and Jax says they’re planning a wedding, and thanks him for officiating. In Brittany’s interview, she says tomorrow, they’re going to Kentucky. It’s wedding week. No turning back. Jax says he wants Lance to wear a multicolored robe. Lance says, like in Jesus Christ Superstar? and I say, no, it’s Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The answer is right in the name of the show. I’m hoping Lance was just drinking heavily, and mixed up his musicals. He tells Jax that he’s honored, and Jax says they want Lance to enjoy himself. Afterwards, Jax tells Brittany, he thinks he sounded stupid. Well, he didn’t correct Lance.

Ariana and Raquel go out behind SUR to talk. Raquel asks if Ariana is tired after her birthday extravaganza, and Ariana says she has to pack for Kentucky. She barely saw Raquel at the party. She saw Raquel talking to James. She says she heard about the texts, and Raquel says if she hadn’t gotten drunk and kept James updated, he wouldn’t have been drinking. Ariana says, it’s not her fault; it’s on him. She asks to see the texts, and Raquel says she’s not proud of any of them. She shows Ariana the phone, and says, it goes on a while. Ariana reads; I hate you, we’re breaking up, I’ll never marry you. Ariana tells Raquel it’s only a matter of time before words like that become what Raquel thinks of herself. Ariana has been there before. In her interview, Ariana says she was in a verbally abusive, controlling relationship. She didn’t do what she should have; end it as soon as it happened. She tells Raquel, she doesn’t want to see her sacrifice her own self-worth to help James, when he’s not helping himself. In Raquel’s interview, she says, no girl thinks  she’ll be verbally abused going into a relationship. She doesn’t want to go through that again. It was scary to her. She tells Ariana, it’s the last straw.

Brett asks Scheana how her trip was. In Scheana’s interview, she says she loves Ariana, but had already booked a job on the east coast singing Good As Gold. Charli showed up dressed as her, so she was there anyway. Brett says it’s too bad Scheana wasn’t there. He didn’t want her to feel the way she did about his lunch date with Charli. Scheana says she just doesn’t want him to get hurt, and he says it’s not serious. She says she’s not giving him advice anymore. Speak of the devil… Charli joins them, and Brett jokes that they’re wearing the same outfit. Charli says she wanted to talk to both of them. Scheana told Brett that she was untrustworthy. Scheana say she doesn’t use that word, but she doesn’t trust any new people. Charli says it seemed weird, and she had the feeling Scheana liked Brett, but she’d said she wouldn’t let it get between a friendship. Scheana says she doesn’t like Brett like that. Charli says Brett told her that Scheana was questioning her intentions, and it’s a turn-off for someone to bring up their girlfriend of two years ago. Brett says, it clearly wasn’t a date, and wonders if he was supposed to make the whole conversation about her. He says he was being honest, and now he’s being scolded for it. This is why he can’t have girls as friends; they take sh*t to the next level. In Brett’s interview, he says he’s got a Charli and Scheana smoothie, and it’s a disgusting drink. Charli says she has to get back to work. She loves them both – don’t hate her. Brett says she has to have the last word, and make him look like an idiot. Charli tells him to write about it in his diary. In Scheana’s interview, she says she didn’t poison the well. She doesn’t want Charli and Brett to be together, but she didn’t do it on purpose. Her bad.

Lexington, Kentucky. In Brittany’s interview, she says she’s always known she wanted to get married in the Kentucky Chapel, surrounded by family and friends. It’s her dream venue. Two days until the wedding. At the castle where everyone is staying, Brittany says, it’s her kingdom, and she’s so excited. It’s perfect. She says, people are there, and tells everyone, welcome. Stassi says, it’s a mixture of Game of Thrones and Downton Abbey. Brittany shows them to their rooms. One of their dogs has a poopie issue, and in her interview, Stassi says, even though the room smells like dog sh*t, it’s the most romantic place she’s ever been. Brittany hugs everyone, and tells them that she loves them. Schwartz says, a bathroom with chairs; amazing. Scheana asks Kristen if Carter is coming, and in her interview, Kristen says Carter isn’t staying in the castle with the rest of the wedding party. It’s at their request, but he’s also not her boyfriend. She and Scheana have a drink while they get dressed. Brittany says, it’s two and a half hours until the rehearsal. The girls have gotten gift bags, and put on their robes and sleep masks. Lala gets dressed, and Stassi says she can’t wear that; it’s white. In Lala’s interview, she says she didn’t realize they couldn’t wear white during any of the wedding functions. She wouldn’t be mad if someone wore white to the rehearsal dinner for her wedding. She goes to change anyway.

Schwartz says he doesn’t really want do anything. Before they left, he went to check on their lizard, Daug, but he’d passed away during the night. He buried Daug in the backyard. Daug, gone too soon. Jax and Brittany go out on their bedroom balcony, and Brittany yells, I’m getting married! Jax says, him too

Meanwhile, at TomTom, Lisa stops in, and asks Max for a cup of tea. She says she’s seen the figures, and it seems to be running smooth. She tells Max that she hasn’t felt up to being around customers, and faking it. He doesn’t blame her, and she says she has to start getting out. Life is punctuated by important moments. It’s significant that Jax and Brittany are getting married. She watched Jax attempt to grow up. In Lisa’s interview, she says Jax has been in her life for so many years. We flash back to after Jax’s father died, and he told Lisa it was a wake-up call. We move to Lisa talking to Jax’s mom Marie. She says, they’ve gone a long way. Max says he’s sure they’ll miss seeing her at the wedding.

Everyone gathers for the rehearsal at the chapel. Planners Mitchel and Christie give everyone orders, and say, those not in the wedding party can stay or go in the shade. They’re doing a dry run. Tom brings out a cooler with at least three different drink choices. In his interview, Tom says he’s good at being a best man. He’s been busting ass. Maybe he should start a business. We see a fake commercial with Tom saying he puts the best in best man. He’ll make sure you don’t sweat. He doesn’t throw shade – he provides it. Schwartz says, at his wedding, Tom took care of his dog and cried real tears at the same time. Scheana says Tom wasn’t her best man, and now she’s divorced. Tom says, see you at the altar. That was pretty funny.

They go through walking down the aisle, and who’s walking together. Mitchel asks if someone will be Randall. Brittany tells her dad, looking out the window, it hit her; it’s real. They look out, and see everyone lined up. Tom puts an umbrella over Jax. There’s a disagreement over who should come first – there are tons of people involved – and in Jax’s interview, he says, Tom isn’t number one. Schwartz is his best friend, and needs to walk out first. He’s paying for this huge day, and wants it the way he wants it. He tells Brittany, it’s the one thing he asked, but she says she didn’t want to upset anyone. In Tom’s interview, he says he’s been Jax’s friend for almost twenty years, and thought he’d be next to him. He fights back tears, and says, to be moved past to Schwartz is expected, but it hurts.    

James makes chicken tacos. Raquel is bummed, but James says he’s tired of hearing about it. He’s over it. in James’s interview, he makes fun of the hashtag Jax is using on everything – #JaxGotItRight. Raquel says, no one is posting, Maybe they’re so wasted, they can’t. James tells Raquel, let’s not go there, but she says she’s not pretending it didn’t happen so he feels better. He tells her that he says a lot of things when he’s drunk. She says he gives her a tone, and he says, it’s his personality; he’s from England. If she doesn’t love who he is, goodbye. She says she’s not telling him not to express his emotions, and he says he’s so over this conversation. He walks out of the apartment, and in Raquel’s interview, she says she’s the one person who’s stood by him. She cries, and says she’s given him so many chances, and it hurts. He comes back, and she says he doesn’t like hearing the truth, but they have to talk about it. He says he’s sorry; he knows. She says she’s not blaming herself for his actions, and she’s not going to be embarrassed for him. The way he talks to her when he’s drunk scares her. If they have kids, she doesn’t want to put them in any situation that’s even relatively close. If he can’t get his sh*t together, then they’ll break up. She wants to go to self-help meeting as well; Al-Anon for those who have loved ones in their lives who drink. James says he’ll go to meetings, and stop drinking. In James’s interview, he says they’ve talked about this before, but there’s something about how Raquel is looking at him, and how upset she is, that he knows he needs to get a handle on it, before she walks out the door, and he’s left wondering what happened. She says it scares her, and he says he knows. He tells her not to cry. He’s doing it. He promises. Raquel says she can’t stop him from drinking anymore, and he says he’s sorry.

And did he just call her Bubba?

Next time, Jax gets sh*tfaced the night before the wedding, Beau tells Kristen that Stassi is his world, and a server tells Dayna that she saw Max with another girl.

🌅 Don’t You Dare…

I’m more like touchy in the morning, but I do love Miss Ross.