What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Finn reads the letter from Hayden again. Anna asks if he’s still looking for clues, but he says he’s still trying to process it. He asks where Anna has been, and she says, checking on Violet. He says he should have done that, and she says he still can, but Violet is asleep. It’s cute how she put the wishbone on her nightstand, and worth a peek. He says it’s his responsibility; she shouldn’t have to check. Anna asks if he’s feeling guilty, and he says, kind of. She tells him, get used to it. It’s A feeling he’s going to have for the rest of his life. She’s had plenty of experience with little girls, and is more than happy to share the responsibility. Until Violet is a teenager. Then, she’s his problem altogether. They kiss, and he asks if she heard something. She says, imaginary noises; the first of many. Violet is really getting to him, and Anna thinks it’s sweet. She asks if he’s all right, and he says, no. Today, he has to tell his beautiful daughter that her mom is gone.
At Shadybrook, the nurse asks Nikolas if he swears it’s not going to hurt her. Nikolas tells her to trust him, as he gives her a bunch of cash. He says she’s been a great help. In her room alone, Ava says, it’s Thanksgiving Day and not a single visitor. Not even a call from Julian. So much for family. She wonders if she could be any more maudlin. No wonder she has no visitors. She’s not a joy to be around. The nurse knocks at the door, and tells Ava it’s time for her meds. Ava doesn’t suppose her brother has called; she was hoping for a visit. The nurse says she’s sorry, and Ava says the pills are different. The nurse tells her, they’re a different brand. They’ll make her feel much better. Ava takes the medication.
Nina toasts to Valentin at the MetroCourt. She says he was generous, letting Lulu take Charlotte for the weekend. He says, there’s nothing wrong with having peace in the family, and she says she’s glad he said that, because she wants the wedding to be more inclusive. She invited Laura. Valentin says, she is Charlotte’s grandmother, and Nina says, and Jax.
Jax tells Carly that he’s put Nikolas on notice. He has to find the codicil by New Year’s Eve, or Jax is cutting him loose. Carly says that means it has to be dealt with by the end of the year. Sonny is already suspicious. Jax says he’ll be more careful, and if it goes sideways, he’ll cut his losses and give her a heads up. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do when she sees Laura. If their positions were reversed, she’d want Laura to tell her. She wishes he hadn’t gotten mixed up with this. Michael comes in, and Carly asks if he made a stop, since he’s been gone a while. He says he and Josslyn taught Dev to ice skate. He asks if Brad and Lucas picked up Wiley, and she tells him Lucas said they were on the way, but she hasn’t seen them and they haven’t called. She hopes they’re okay.
Willow comes out, and Sasha says, well… what do the results say? Willow says she took the test… Chase appears, and says he’s glad he found them both. Something has happened, but first, Willow needs to know Wiley is safe. There’s been an accident with Brad and Lucas.
Due to the lax security at GH, Julian stands over Brad’s hospital bed where he lies unconscious. He says it was supposed to be Brad, not Lucas. Not his son. The nurse tells Julian, sorry, it will just take a second, and Julian leaves.
Michael wonders if Lucas and Brad stopped to talk things out. Carly hopes so. She’s glad Michael is there. Sonny left to meet Kristina, and there’s still lots of putting away to do. Jax’s phone rings, and he says, sure he can meet them. Carly says, perfect timing, and Jax asks if she expected him to help clean up a Thanksgiving meal he didn’t eat. She says he has a reputation for chivalry, but that sounded pressing. Michael says he did eat, so it’s kind of his duty. Carly says that’s why she adores her son. He doesn’t shrink from a tough job. Jax wishes them a happy Thanksgiving, and leaves. Michael asks if Wiley is staying the night, and Carly says he’s sound asleep, along with Donna and Avery. Bobbie calls, and tells Carly, get to the hospital now.
Nina asks if Valentin is sure he doesn’t mind, and he says if she wants Jax there, it’s fine; as long as he has her, Charlotte, and the Justice of the Peace. She promises it will be a day he never forgets, although anything is better than last time. He says, barring a natural disaster; flood, famine… Nina says, frogs. He says they’re in this together, and she says, anything for him. He tells her that Jax and Laura are trying to get their hands on a portrait that may contain a codicil that disinherits him, giving the estate to Spencer. Nina says, that’s ridiculous, and asks if it’s hidden in the frame, or under the painting. Valentin says it might be nothing but Helena sending them on a wild goose chase, but he’s not willing to take the risk. Not with Charlotte standing to lose everything. He has to get his hands on the painting before Jax does.
Ava says, happy Thanksgiving, Kiki. On this day a year ago, Ava lost her, and her whole life fell apart. She misses Kiki. She gets up, and feels woozy. She says she’ll just lie down a minute and wait. Wait for what? Nobody’s coming. Nikolas calls her name.
Carly gets to the hospital, and Chase tells her that Lucas is in surgery. His and Brad’s car was hit by another car, and went off the road. They were both unconscious, and trapped for at least an hour. She asks how Brad is, and he says, fine, but unconscious. Lucas’s side took the brunt of the hit. She asks about the other car, and he says they were attempting to murder Alexis. Alexis was targeted by Kendra Bower. Nine years ago, Alexis killed her brother Kiefer accidentally. Carly says she remembers that. It must have been why Kristina called Sonny. Is Alexis okay? Chase says, she was admitted for observation. Kendra drugged her, and left her in the road. She was going to intentionally run Alexis down. Carly says, like Kiefer, and Chase says, before it happened, Brad and Lucas’s car struck hers. It was serous; Kendra was killed. Bobbie joins them, and she and Carly hug. Carly asks how Lucas is, and Bobbie says, he’s still in surgery; there’s been no word. Carly says, it will be okay. What about Brad? Julian sidles up, and says, he’ll be fine.
Brad flashes back on telling Lucas that Wiley is Michael and Nelle’s son.
Willow approaches Bobbie, and says she’s sorry this is happening. She hopes she’s not overstepping, but Bobbie says Willow is the mother of her grandson. Willow asks how Wiley is, and Carly says, he’s good. He’s with Michael.
Sasha goes back to Sonny’s, and tells Michael, anything she can do, name it. He says, Lucas is still in surgery, and Brad hasn’t woken up yet. He asks if they have any idea what caused it, but she says, if Chase knew, he didn’t mention anything. Michael says, Wiley could lose both fathers tonight.
Finn tells Anna that he never thought he’d be anxious to hear from Robert. She knows the feeling, but Robert is making every effort to find Hayden. She asks if pacing is helping Finn, and he says it is. She suggests getting Roxie, but he says, Roxie is for anxiety. She says, and this is…? He says, anger mixed with frustration. He doesn’t want to bring Roxie into that. The doorbell rings, and it’s Jax, who says Anna told him it was urgent. Finn asks what Jax got Hayden into, and Jax says, nothing. What did she tell him? Finn says, she skipped town, and Anna says, Finn found a note. Jax asks if she took Violet, but Anna says, Violet is there. Finn says, Hayden wrote that she was in trouble, and left town to keep Violet safe. Tell him what the hell is going on.
Ava asks if Nikolas is really there, and he says, yes; it’s him. She says she thought he was dead, and he says he is, and she backs up on the bed. She says, if he’s dead, how is he there? He says he’s not really there, and Ava asks if it’s a dream, or is he… Nikolas says he’s in hell – because of her. She says, Valentin did this, and he says Valentin sent him there, but she’s the reason why he’s trapped and doesn’t know peace. She says she’s sorry, and he says he hopes that true. Now, she’s going to make amends.
Willow sees Julian, and says, poor man. Carly says she doesn’t know if Willow knows this, but her son Morgan was killed by a car bomb intended for Julian. Morgan wouldn’t have been in the car in the first place if Ava hadn’t switched out his meds for placeboes, and he spiraled out of control. She hates Julian and Ava, and wished such suffering on them. Now Ava is in a psychiatric hospital, and Julian is staring down the same loss. She guesses she got her wish.
Jax says, if Hayden was in danger, she never mentioned it. Anna says she thought they were close, and he says she worked for him at Aurora, but that was the extent of the relationship. Finn says she must have a side project going on, and whatever it is, it got her in trouble. Anna says Jax always has a side project going on; maybe it’s the same one. Jax asks if there was anything about it in the note, but Finn says Hayden keeps secrets because she thinks she can deal with things by herself. Anna says if Hayden is in trouble, maybe Jax can help. Jax says the only thing he can do, is check her office at Aurora, and see if she left anything behind. Finn says, other than their daughter. Jax says if Hayden left Violet, she must think the danger is real and she’ll be back. He’s sorry; keep him posted. Anna asks him to do the same. When he’s gone, Anna and Finn both say, he’s definitely lying.
The surgeon comes out, and says Lucas is critical, but stable. Julian asks, which is it? and Bobbie says, it means he’s in bad shape, but not getting worse – at the moment. The doctor says there was swelling on the brain, and they had to open his skull to release the pressure. He’s in a medically induced coma. Carly asks if there’s going to be brain damage, but he says, it’s too soon to tell. Lucas is in recovery, and will be moved to ICU, where they’re going to monitor him closely.
Ava knows she wronged Nikolas, and tells him that she’s sorry. She covers her face, and he tells her to look at him. She says she can’t, but he tells her, it’s all right, and sits on the bed. She looks at him, and he says, they were friends. They understood each other. She says she thought they were good friends, and he says she was there when he died. She says there was nothing she could do, and he says he doesn’t blame her. She thanks him for that, and he says, but Spencer needed her, and what did she do? She says she can’t say it, and he asks, why? She says she’s ashamed, and he tells her that she chose her own beauty over his son’s future. He never thought she’d betray him. Ava says he doesn’t know what it was like for her, looking in the mirror. He says, at least she had a face. His was lost at sea. She says she’d do anything to make it up; just stop. He tells her to promise she won’t let Valentin win. She says she won’t. Nikolas was the first. After he died, something happened. It was like a wave of darkness. She lost Morgan, then Griff, then Kiki. Ryan wasn’t real. She sinks to the floor, saying, he was a monster. He should be in hell, not Nikolas. He says, think of Spencer. He needs her again. The portrait of Helena. She says he knows she’d do anything for his son. She’d do anything for Avery and Kiki, but it’s too late. Kiki will never forgive her. He says he knows. He’s seen Kiki. She’s there with him.
Nina asks Valentin how Ava got her hands on the portrait, but he says, she’s being tight-lipped, and she’s as unreliable as Helena when it comes to telling the truth. Nina asks if he thinks Ava still has the portrait, but he says she was pretty doped up in Shadybrook. He thinks she’s going to try a bidding war, but it won’t be easy from there. Nina thanks him for telling her and being honest. He says, it’s not easy. A lifetime of bad habits is hard to break, but he’s trying. She says, whatever happens, they’re in this together. All the way. He says, that’s what he wants to hear. Jax suddenly grabs Valentin, yanking him out of his seat. He tells Valentin to take a walk with him. He pushes Valentin against the wall, and asks what the hell he’s done with Hayden.
Michael sits on the couch with Wiley and Sasha, and tells Wiley that he’s sorry Wiley’s dads couldn’t be there. Not to worry. He and Sasha will keep him company. Sasha says Michael is so good to Wiley, and Michael says, who wouldn’t love Wiley? Sasha asks if he thinks Wiley would like a snack, and he doesn’t think Wiley would say no to ice cream. (I know I never do.) Sasha goes to the kitchen, and Michael says, it looks like it’s just them.
Willow tells Brad that he’s at GH. He has a concussion. Chase adds, plus bruised ribs. Brad asks about Lucas, and Willow says, he’s alive, and in ICU. Brad says he needs to be with his husband, but she says not until the doctor says it’s okay. He asks her to get the doctor, and she jets. Brad asks Chase, what happened?
Carly says, Lucas is out of surgery; it’s a good sign. Bobbie says, it is, but she know too much about trauma, brain injury, and recovery stats. Julian just wants Lucas to wake up. He doesn’t care if Lucas hates him and kicks him out of his life forever, as long as he’s all right. The nurse says they can go in, two at a time. Bobbie and Julian go into the room, and Bobbie says, her poor baby. How did this happen?
Chase asks what Brad remembers. Brad says they were headed to Sonny’s, and Lucas was driving. There was a car in front of them, and they were headed for it. Chase asks if Lucas tried to stop, and Brad says he stepped on the brakes, but the car didn’t slow. Chase asks if there have been any problems with the car recently, but Brad says, it was working fine yesterday. He doesn’t understand what happened.
Bobbie tells Lucas that she’s glad he’s resting. It’s the only way to heal. Keep doing what he’s doing, and everyone will be waiting for him. Julian goes back out, and Carly asks, what happened? He says she should go in and be with her mom. She does, and tells Lucas that she’s sure his mom is being nurturing and loving, but she’s his big sister, and she’s going to tell him the truth. He needs to rally and pull it together. There’s no way Donna is going to miss her first Christmas with her Uncle Lucas. Bobbie says he can’t disappoint three generations of Spencer women. Carly says she got the cutest Santa outfit for Wiley, and Bobbie says, he’s going to be adorable. Carly says, here’s the deal. He needs to follow doctor’s orders. Take the time he needs, but he needs to wake the hell up. He has so much to look forward to.
Valentin asks Jax if something happened to Hayden, and Nina tells Jax to let Valentin go. She’s sure Valentin will tell Jax everything. Jax releases Valentin, and says, talk. Valentin says he has no idea who threatened Hayden or chased her out. If she left town, she did it on her own. Why does Jax think it was him? Jax says Valentin has been targeting Hayden, and Valentin says it could be because she’s trying to steal his family estate. And she and Jax are working together.
Ava says, Kiki can’t be with Nikolas. He said.. Nikolas says, he’s in hell, and Kiki is right beside him, suffering. She says Kiki can’t be; she was good. He says, murder victims never rest. Can’t she hear the crying? She tells him, stop it, and crawls away, but he follows. He says the only way it will stop is when she tells him who she sold the painting to. Ava says she didn’t sell it; she still has it. He says, good. She can still help Spencer and Kiki. He’ll rest, and Kiki will rest. She says it’s all she wants. She’s begging him to help her. Kiki shouldn’t have to pay for what she’s done. She loved Kiki, and didn’t mean the things she said to Ryan. She didn’t mean for Ryan to kill her. Kiki was so good and sweet; such a pure soul. She asks Nikolas, please help, and he says he will. Just tell him where Helena’s portrait is. She says she has it in the gallery. Does he forgive her? He thanks her, and says she did well. Don’t tell Valentin. Don’t tell anyone. Keep it between them; between friends. She says he’ll tell Kiki, right? Promise her. He helps her back to bed, and she closes her eyes, saying his name. She sits up, and he’s gone.
Sasha comes in with a tray, and Michael calls her their fearless forager. She says there are still a lot dishes to put away, and he says that’s his job, but instead, he’s babysitting. Sasha says, Willow called, and Brad is awake. Michael says, good. He’s glad to hear that. She asks, what is it? and he says his mom texted. Lucas is in a medically induced coma in ICU. She says she’s so sorry, and he says, Wiley has no idea how his world could change. Sasha says, or everything could be fine. Michael says, no matter what, they’ll always have family, and family will always have them.
Anna tells Finn that he is going to wake Violet up if he keeps checking. He says, this time last month, he didn’t even know he had a daughter. Now she’s upstairs, and he’s a single dad. Anna says she’s there. She’s not going anywhere. If it’s all right with him.
Julian goes back to Lucas’s room. He tells Bobbie that Carly said she wanted to see him. She says she was hoping he could sit with Lucas for a while, so she can update Brad. She knows how hard it is to see Lucas like this, but if he could just sit and talk with him. She leaves, and Julian goes to Lucas’s bedside. He says he made a mess. He’s so sorry for everything. Lucas was supposed to be at work, and Brad should have been in the car by himself. He was trying to protect Lucas the only way he knew how, to make sure Lucas and Wiley would be okay, but instead, Lucas is punished for his sins. He’s so sorry; he loves Lucas. He asks Lucas to forgive him, and Brad says, forgive him for what? Julian turns around, and Bobbie is there with Brad in a wheelchair.
Julian asks what Brad thinks he meant. All the time he wasted not knowing his son, and the reasons he gave Lucas to keep his distance. The nurse tells them, only two, and Julian says he’ll leave. He goes out to the hallway, and looks back through the window.
Carly calls home, and says she thought Michael was there. She tells him to give Wiley a squeeze for her. She doesn’t know how long they’ll be at the hospital. Everything is okay, considering. She says she loves them too.
Julian says, Lucas doesn’t deserve this, and Carly says they have to believe Lucas will be okay.
Brad says he loves Lucas so much. He’ll be there by Lucas’s side until he wakes up. Bobbie says Lucas’s family is waiting for him. His son needs him. Brad says, they both do.
Michael gets the door. It’s Willow, and he asks if everything is okay. She says, it’s fine. It’s just… Brad and Lucas. She couldn’t stay away. Wiley smiles at her. He is one smiley kid.
Nikolas calls Jax, who asks where he is. Nikolas asks, what’s going on? and Jax says, Hayden left town. Nikolas asks if Jax thinks Valentin has something to do with it, but Jax doesn’t want to discuss it on the phone. The situation is out of control, and they need to talk. Nikolas says he knows where the portrait is, and he’s going there now. Jax tells Nikolas to meet him now, or he’s going to the police. Nikolas says, and lose the big prize? but Jax says he’s lost bigger, and he’s still rich. It’s not a bluff. He’ll send Nikolas the location, and he’d better be there.
Nina says she defended Valentin with Jax. Now he needs to tell the truth. Valentin says he didn’t force Hayden out of town. He wanted her to stay so he could get more information. Nina believes him; that’s how his mind works. He appreciates her faith in him, but Nina says she knows him. He says he’s going to the gallery to look for the portrait. She says, if Ava put the picture where no one would find it, wouldn’t the gallery be the last place? He says he wants to eliminate the obvious first. He leaves, and Nina calls Shadybrook. She asks if Ava is allowed visitors, and says she’ll be right over.
Ava drifts off, saying, no more ghosts. We see Nikolas’s cufflink next to the bed.
Just a thought. Maybe Nikolas should get some cufflinks that will stay in his cuffs.
Tomorrow, Brad says it’s all his fault, Nelle says it’s time to catch up, Jax can’t believe Nikolas staged the attack on Hayden, and Nina asks Ava, who told her Kiki was in hell?
The Real Housewives of Dallas
Bangkok. The women get ready to go out. Kameron has brought her own adaptor, and tells LeeAnne that Thai holes have three round prongs. Jokes abound. Kary still has jet lag. She says she’s slept four hours in three days. In her interview, Stephanie says at first, she thought D’Andra wore LeeAnne’s dress to be supportive. If she wore it as a joke, it was a joke at LeeAnne’s expense, and it isn’t funny. It’s not what friends do, and it felt wrong. The women discuss this in the lobby while waiting for LeeAnne and Kameron. Stephanie tells D’Andra, she thinks their continuing critique hurt LeeAnne’s feelings. D’Andra says she’s the only one who was supportive. She bought two of the dresses. In D’Andra’s interview, she says, it’s not that big of a deal. It was fun. LeeAnne and Kameron join the conversation, and LeeAnne says she’s right there now, if they want to disrespect her. She tells Kameron that she doesn’t think D’Andra was just being funny. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says, bitch, you’re not funny. You’ve never been funny. And by the way, it’s the best her boobs have ever looked. D’Andra thinks LeeAnne is making a big deal about something not that important. It wasn’t meant to hurt LeeAnne or bring her down.
The women get on the bus to go to the elephant sanctuary, singing Kameron’s song. In case you forgot, it’s loosely to the tune of Toyland, and goes: ♫ Thailand! Thailand! Where everyone gets a baby elephant! ♫ And that’s pretty much it. Not a millisecond after they sit, Kary insists D’Andra wearing the dress wasn’t meant be rude. LeeAnne says, what if Kary made a nice necklace, and she said it looked like anal beads. This is really bad example, since, as Kary points out in her interview, LeeAnne did say that in Mexico. We flash back to make sure everyone knows this is true. Kary doesn’t care if LeeAnne shoves the jewelry up her ass, as long as she pays for it. Her salesmanship is impressive. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says she’s trying to move on. She gets it. Kary doesn’t want to be friends, and she’s good with it. Stephanie explains that they’re going to the elephant sanctuary, and it’s a two-hour drive. She hopes they see some elephant babies. Brandi says, it’s 9 am there, but 9 pm at home in Dallas. She’s ready to party. The drinking commences, despite several of the women being concerned about having to go to the bathroom during the ride. They play Never Have I Ever, covering the Mile High Club, being intimate with another woman, and having sex in a public place. In Brandi’s interview, she says she’s not going to lie. She and Stephanie have kissed. They were trying to make their husbands jealous, but they actually liked it. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says probably the only public places she hasn’t had sex are a department and grocery store. Kameron is adamant that a stairwell in an apartment complex isn’t public if no one ever uses it, but the rest of the women insist it is public.
They get to the sanctuary at 1 pm. The guide explains they’re not a zoo; they’re a rescue center with an emphasis on conservation. It’s 102 degrees out, and as much as I’d love to see Thailand, I’m not so sure I would survive it. They get on a safari-type bus, and their first stop is to see the honey bears that have been used in circuses and shows. One bear plays with a tire. In her interview, LeeAnne says she worked with snakes, bears, and gorillas in the carnival. She never knew the background of how they were treated because she was a child, and didn’t think about it. The gibbons are next, and the guide says they communicate through song. When they get out, a gibbon who’s been hanging in a tree, drops down and runs around like a nut, then swings all over the place. They laugh, and he makes a racket. The guide says he’s competing. A dude comes along and asks if they want to toss coconuts to the gibbons, and instructs them to throw them over the fence. Kary tries to put hers under the fence, repeating in her interview that she doesn’t listen to instructions. They nearly bean the poor gibbons with the coconuts.
They move on to where the elephants are lodged. The guide points out a blue-eyed Asian elephant, which is rare. Kameron says, they’re so precious and so sweet. You want to save all of them. A girl brings bananas for them to feed the elephants, and the guide says, in Thailand, elephants are classified as livestock. They’re broken. They’re put in a pen, and weapons are used against them. The first thing they do at the rescue, is cut their chains, and they never have to wear chains again. After that, they begin to get their own personality back. They take photos. In D’Andra’s interview, she says she’s not used to seeing animals this way. She’s used to seeing them in the wild. Seeing an elephant makes her feel like there’s hope in the world. In Stephanie’s interview, she says, it’s magical to interact with the elephants. They’ve been through a lot, and this place is their safe haven. LeeAnne talks to a smallish elephant, and the guide says she was a taxi. She has a limp because she was hit by a van in the street. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says she wants to hug her (me too!), and let her know there are humans who only want to love her. Every time she sees an animal that’s been beaten and used, she gets it. When she was three years old, she was told to perform. She relates.
As they leave, one of the elephants says goodbye. Kary says they’ll remember this experience forever. She’s never going to ride one again. LeeAnne says any elephant that you ride has been broken. As a human who knows what it’s like to be broken, it’s horrible. Kameron pets LeeAnne’s head, and LeeAnne says, it’s horrible what they do to them. In Brandi’s interview, she says, it’s frustrating. Just when they’ve experienced something together, LeeAnne made it about herself. Ugh. Why do they feel the need to say stuff like this? I don’t look at it the same way at all. I think if LeeAnne still needs to talk about her childhood, she still needs to talk about her childhood. As friends, they should just be supportive, and quit being dismissive because they’ve heard it already. If identifying with various situations helps LeeAnne, let her be. Kary suggests a nap, and LeeAnne thinks they should have dinner in their rooms. In Stephanie’s interview, she says they’re all still jet lagged, so they’re just going to order room service and relax.
Back at the hotel, Brandi grabs a box of tampons, and says she’s going to help LeeAnne with her Red Sea parting. She goes to LeeAnne and Kameron’s room, and Kameron asks if she’s drunk without liquor like they are. Brandi says she took her sleeping pill, and Kameron says that should be fun. She asks Brandi to sit down. They have a lot to ask her. LeeAnne can’t stop laughing. Kameron says she loves Brandi on sleeping pills; she’s funny. LeeAnne says Kameron wants Brandi to be like she is on Xanax, and we flash back to that. LeeAnne says when she joined everyone this morning, they were having a public conversation about what happened at dinner. Brandi says, D’Andra said she was trying to be funny. Brandi ponders for a moment, and says, maybe D’Andra said that. She thinks maybe D’Andra did. LeeAnne tells Brandi that she and D’Andra aren’t in a place where she can do that. Brandi thinks she did it to be a little a-hole. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says Brandi sticking up for her is like a light in a dark room, and she needed it. Brandi hugs the wall going back out, but makes it to her room.
The next morning, the women have breakfast in their rooms. Kary tells D’Andra that she thinks they’re going to a market, and not to eat monkey. D’Andra says she has limits. The get on another bus, and Kameron says they’re going to the main market, and Kary says it’s the biggest outdoor market in the world. In Kameron’s interview, she says, it’s hot, and there’s no wind. She needs a fan, or she’ll get a whiff of the mystery food. Smells are coming at her. In Stephanie’s interview, she says she’s been holding her breath since they got there. They’re either smelling it or eating it. In Brandi’s interview, she says, it’s like burnt popcorn mixed with B.O. In D’Andra’s interview, she says she loves trying different food. Her husband says she likes food better than sex, and he’s probably right.
Kameron suggests getting friendship bracelets, but LeeAnne opts out. In Kary’s interview, she says, of course LeeAnne poops on their parade. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says she’s not twelve, so it’s not a thing for her, but if it makes them happy, O to the K. Kameron and Kary go for a massage, and LeeAnne buys some hand-carved wooden serving utensils. Brandi says she might want to get some, but not for sexual reasons. Brandi, LeeAnne, and Stephanie have a beer. D’Andra joins Kary and Kameron. Kameron says she’s having a good time. There hasn’t been much drama, besides the other night. D’Andra says she was trying to be funny, and thought LeeAnne would be laughing because she wore the dress. Kameron thinks it’s when they started talking about the faults of the dress, it hurt LeeAnne’s feelings. Kary tells Kameron, if that was the case, LeeAnne could have said so, and suggested they talk later. She would have just said, sorry. I think that’s basically what LeeAnne did say, and I don’t believe for a second that Kary would have apologized if she’d listened. Kary says, instead, LeeAnne walked off, crying. It’s not appropriate. Kameron wonders what if she told Kary that she had poorly constructed jewelry in front of other people? Would hurt her feelings? Kary says she would ask if they could talk later. Kameron says they don’t have the history that LeeAnne and D’Andra do. It’s been rocky. Kary tells her not to make excuses for LeeAnne, and Kameron says she’s not doing that. She’s just trying to explain that her feelings would be hurt in the same situation. In Kary’s interview, she says Kameron has LeeAnne’s back, because she’s that kind of friend. Kary is too, and she gets it.
Stephanie asks LeeAnne how things are with Kary and D’Andra. LeeAnne thinks D’Andra has said her piece, and she’s done with it. She doesn’t know how Kary feels. She tunes Kary out after a couple of sentences. Stephanie asks what LeeAnne and Brandi want to do, and LeeAnne says she wants to see a lady boy show. Brandi asks if that’s a ping pong show, but LeeAnne says, no. Lady boys are real boys. In Stephanie’s interview, she says she’s heard the lady boys are real famous. She’s intrigued. LeeAnne tells Brandi, if she sees a ping pong ball flying at a lady boy show, it didn’t come out of a p*ssy.
D’Andra calls Mama Dee, who asks what time it is there. D’Andra says they’re getting ready for dinner, and Dee asks how the food is. D’Andra says, delicious, but no one likes the food except her and Kary. It’s been a good trip; they’ve only had one hiccup. Dee is sure D’Andra was involved, and D’Andra says, of course. She tells Dee that she got LeeAnne’s dress to wear at dinner for fun, but LeeAnne got upset. She started crying, and left the table. She tells Dee that Brandi said she was being mean, and Dee says she would tell Brandi off. D’Andra guesses Brandi needed to defend LeeAnne, since LeeAnne can’t defend herself. Ha-ha. Wow. These two are quite the package.
On the next bus – everything seems to be far away – Stephanie says Travis will be there tomorrow. They’re going to a restaurant called Cabbages and Condoms. She and Travis have been there before. In her interview, she says Travis wanted to give a subliminal message to her. I’ve been in some oddball restaurants, but this takes the cake. It’s everything condom. The lampshades on the ceiling lights look like upside down condoms, and there’s all kinds of condom art, even a Santa made out of condoms. I never thought I’d type the word condom so much in one paragraph. A dialogue box tells us that the restaurant is condom themed to promote safe sex. In her interview, LeeAnne says she’s allergic to latex, and it caused bad problems with her trying to have sex using one early on. Kary says she didn’t know they came in pink, and says she’s never used one. She’s always been in serious relationships. In her interview, she tries putting one on a banana. They order all kinds of food, and Kary and Kameron are very chatty. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says, Kameron is like a shiny new toy, and Kary is like a three-year-old. Kameron says when they got a massage, she and Kary talked about what happened at dinner. Kary thinks she and LeeAnne need to have a talk. LeeAnne says she realizes that Kary thought it was offensive when she said something about Kary’s hat, but she was just being cautious. There were so many monks, and she didn’t want to offend the people in their space. Kary says LeeAnne has to respect that about her. LeeAnne says she’ll never mention it again. If Kary wants to wear her hat in a temple, that’s up to her. LeeAnne asks if she sees a car coming, and screams at Kary to run, is she just going to stand there? Kary nods, so we can hope. In Stephanie’s interview, she says, the food sucks. It’s like a TGIFriday’s for nasty food. LeeAnne says she felt like when she didn’t react, they kept going, and she was shocked. D’Andra says if she’d done that four years ago, LeeAnne would have thought it was hilarious. LeeAnne says they were in a totally different place then. Brandi says she felt like they were picking on LeeAnne, and Kary admits it was a mistake to keep bringing it up. In Kary’s interview, she says Kameron helped her to understand, and she feels bad. She doesn’t like to hurt people’s feelings. I choke on my coffee. D’Andra tells LeeAnne that she said she was sorry, but LeeAnne was upset, and probably didn’t hear her. She didn’t mean it in a nefarious (she likes that word) way. She was just trying to get them back to a fun place. Kary says they had good intentions, but it turned bad. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says she thinks the apology is 100% fake, and they 100% tried to hurt her deeply, but she’s trying to take the high road as best she can, and stay on it. The waitress gives them after dinner condoms. Brandi blows hers up like a balloon.
Kary says the red light district in Thailand is a big tourist attraction. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says she loves a good drag show, and heard the performers there are amazing, and over-the-top. Fifteen minutes later, we see them leaving. In her interview, D’Andra says, it was all pageantry, and the music starts. Stephanie says, they take their skirts off, and stick their wieners out. They were in the first row. Brandi says, all of a sudden, there’s a threesome. D’Andra says, the guy’s junk was right in front of her eyes. Kameron draws a diagram, and I’m laughing too hard to type what she’s saying. D’Andra calls Jeremy and says they just saw a live sex show. In her interview, Kameron says, this is not appropriate for a stage presentation. Brandi says she just wants to see one ping pong ball shoot out of a vagina. LeeAnne points out that if they’re in a bad part of town, it’s how they use and abuse women. Kary pouts, saying LeeAnne is trying to convince them to leave. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says she’ll go with them, but Kameron isn’t aware of what it is. She thinks Kameron believes this is like a magic show. Like the other show, we don’t get to see it, but again after fifteen minutes, they’re out of there. Kameron says it’s the grossest thing she’s ever seen. She didn’t think it was real. Brandi says she thought it was two women playing ping pong with their vaginas. It’s very misleading. In Kameron’s interview, she does another diagram, explaining, this leg goes up, and ping pong balls were shooting everywhere, hitting everyone in the head. And they were kind of bossy. She tried to get up, and they tried to hit her in the head with a dart. LeeAnne says, Kary wanted to go, and was the first bitch to run out. In her interview, she says, one ball, and Kary is running like a bitch out the door, and Kameron ran after her. Kameron says she ran as fast as she could. It was scary. LeeAnne asks what she thought was going to happen. Kary says, it was an experience, and she doesn’t regret it. Stephanie says it’s no one’s fault; everyone wanted to come. In her interview, she says she thinks LeeAnne is upset because Kary and Kameron are hanging out. A security guy goes to get them a taxi, and Kameron says she has to go to the bathroom. LeeAnne says they’re not in a good part of town, but Kary says she’s been there with her daughter by herself. She’s from Mexico and knows when something bad is going to happen. In Kary’s interview, she says LeeAnne is being super manipulative. She’s trying to get everyone scared because she wants to leave. I dunno about that. LeeAnne looks genuinely concerned, and it doesn’t look like where you’d want to be hanging out – or using the bathroom.
A cab comes, and LeeAnne gets in it with Stephanie. She tells Stephanie that Kary can defend herself because she’s from Mexico. Please. In Brandi’s interview, she says the night is still young. They left Kameron and D’Andra because they have security with them, but they’re going back to their rooms, even though it’s only 10 pm. In another cab, Kary tells Brandi that LeeAnne is being negative (her favorite word). LeeAnne tells Stephanie that Kary demanded they go, and then ran out. Stephanie asks what Kameron said about it, and LeeAnne says, Kameron ran out after her. Kary tells Brandi that Kameron is her own person.
Another twenty minutes later, Kameron and D’Andra get back. Kameron says she’s going to barf. She goes into the room, and LeeAnne asks if she has any clue how many sex workers they just looked at. Kameron asks why LeeAnne is yelling at her.
Next time, LeeAnne says Kary needed to have her way, Kary says LeeAnne shouldn’t make Kameron feel guilty, and LeeAnne won’t speak to Kameron.
I don’t even know if there was a new episode last week, but this week on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the women went to Jamaica for Jennifer’s birthday celebration. Another fine trip wasted on the underserving. Jackie told her husband that she can’t go anywhere with these women without something aggressive happening, which is hardly a difficult prediction. Dolores thought that Jackie brought up things she shouldn’t, like the normal things you bring up with friends. She said Jennifer’s parents had raised her more liberally. Jackie thought Dolores had a lot of rules, and didn’t know her well enough to talk about how she was raised. Jennifer, Jackie, and Margaret went horseback riding in the water, which was mega cool, except they kept slipping all over the place. Theresa, Melissa, and Dolores went to the beach and drank. Teresa said the past five years had been dark, and Melissa wanted her to think of the possibilities instead. When Jackie said she didn’t think she could ever be close to Teresa, Margaret said she could identify with Teresa’s stress, especially over her financial situation. I know it’s all a matter of perspective, but it’s hard for me to be sympathetic because someone has to downsize to 4000 square feet. When Melissa told Joe #2 about how Marge made a joke about 21-year-old scotch, Teresa, and jailbait, he predicted Teresa would eventually explode over it. Another thing you don’t have to be the Long Island Medium to figure out. Teresa did explode, but more to Melissa and Dolores during more drinks after the beach. Back home, the guys got together for cards, drinks, and sex talk that I didn’t need to hear. When the women reconvened for dinner, Teresa saw a sign that said, Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first. Marge swore that she wasn’t referring to the article about Teresa’s boy-toy, only the scotch. Teresa let it slide, but in her interview, said she didn’t believe it. Dolores brought up Jackie being upset with her, making some big speech about them not being cut from the same cloth, that sounded like a bunch of BS. Melissa backed up my thoughts in her interview by saying the same thing.
I’ve come to the conclusion that Jackie is to RHONJ what Marilyn was to The Munsters.
Next time, Frank tells David that Dolores wants a commitment (and Jackie is a weirdo?), Teresa and her daughters go through pictures, and Juicy Joe’s appeal is denied.
📺 The new season of Project Runway starts Thursday, December 5th, at 9:30 pm, and Vanderpump Rules new season begins on Tuesday, January 7th (2020!) at 9 pm.
🎄 I watched a lot of Christmas in Rockefeller Center, and it kind of freaked me out when they said the star was 900 pounds. I will never stand close to that tree again.
🎭 And She Was In Hamilton…
A woman who’s certainly done well since her soap days. I saw her in Shakespeare in the Park’s musical of Two Gentlemen of Verona, also starring the yummy Oscar Isaac and Rosario Dawson. The cherry on that theatre cake was that I sat near some other OLTL cast members. Ah, those brushes with fame…
🍹 Losing Some Charm…
I can rearrange my schedule, but it would be a tough commute.
No mention of Naomie, but I hope she’s planning a wedding. Trader Joe’s butter chicken has now become a staple in my diet. I think there might be crack in the curry.
🔧 Revving Up the Wayback Machine…
To a simpler time, when people were less offended, and David Bowie was alive.