Tag Archives: People’s Couch

November 29, 2017 – Andre is Found, a Fashion Show Standoff, a Little Star & Random Info

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Obrecht shows up at The Floating Rib, where Mac, Felicia, and Sam are setting up a celebration. Maxie has insisted on a gathering of her and Nathan’s nearest and dearest, but they don’t know why. Lulu has her suspicions, but says it’s not her place to say. Maxie and Nathan arrive, and say they have good news to share, but they’re waiting for everyone to get there. Obrecht suggests entertaining them with a medley of German ballads in the meantime, so Maxie reveals that she and Nathan are having a baby.

Jason goes to the station to see Dante. He’s hoping for some help.

In Havana, Curtis enjoys a cigar. Almost. Jordan takes it out of his hand, telling him that’s a no if he wants to kiss her. He says she drives a hard bargain. She asks if he’s sure about the name Andre is using, since no one has checked in with it. He says his contact is solid, but Andre probably changes it. Using different ones for travel and lodging makes it harder to trace. Curtis tells her that his contact sent a photo of Andre at the place they’re staying, so just sit back, chill, and wait for him to return.

Valentin sees Nina at the MetroCourt, and asks if she’s having breakfast meeting, since there’s an extra place setting. She says yes, but it hasn’t started yet. Cassandra walks up to the table.

Finn tells Anna that he didn’t want to press the issue on Thanksgiving, but they have to move forward. Anna says she could arrest Cassandra on what she has, but the organization would still go on, and it would be for nothing. He’s out, and she intends to keep it that way. Finn says Cassandra will want to flood the market with the new opiate he’s going to develop.

Maxie says she couldn’t hide it after she annihilated the Thanksgiving buffet, and Lulu says she was right. Felicia had been worried they were moving, and asks why she didn’t tell them. Obrecht says the Americans have it wrong. Maxie might be pregnant, but her son is going to be a father, and she will be a großmutter. She tells Mac and Felicia that they’ll be bonded together for eternity, and Mac suddenly needs a drink. Maxie says she wanted to tell Georgie first. She was confused, thinking Spinelli was the father, and still has questions about how a baby can have the same mother, but a different father. She sees Sam, and says, sorry, but Sam says it’s okay; they’re coping.

Dante tells Jason that was some entrance, and Jason says it wasn’t on purpose. Dante says it never is. He has good intentions, reacts, and mayhem ensues. He didn’t want to say anything, but has to admit that Jason’s brother has been a good friend. His twin saved Dante’s life, and he’s a good dude. He didn’t want to think Jason was bailing on him, but now that he’s staring him in the face… He says, welcome home, Jason.

Jordan doesn’t want to just sit there, but Curtis says they’re leaving nothing to chance. She wants to pay the waiter, but Curtis explains that you can’t use an American credit card in Cuba (good to know). It’s cash or nothing. Andre never had a chance to empty his bank accounts, and now that they’re frozen, he can’t access them. They’ll just wait and draw him out.

Cassandra wonders why Valentin is surprised that she and Nina are meeting, since she thought they tell each other everything. Nina says she sent him a text, and he pretends to suddenly see it. Nina says since Valentin told her about his involvement with Cassandra, she thought it best that everything be out in the open, so they met. Cassandra says sorry to blindside him, and Nina says she’s been working late, and by the time she gets home, the last thing she wants to talk about is his exes, but she thought why not still be friends? Cassandra tells Valentin she’s like to get closer to the people he loves.

Anna tells Finn it’s a bad idea. She’s not risk getting him further involved; it’s too dangerous. Finn says it wasn’t when she blackmailed him into treating Cassandra, or telling people they’re dating. Anna says the cover is keeping him alive, but working with her will have the opposite effect. He says Cassandra is interested in him, and if he can convince her that he has the expertise to develop a new drug, she might let him in and show him where the bodies are buried. Anna says, or he’ll be one. She tells him he doesn’t have the resources, and he says, Valentin does? She says he’s a trained spy, and Finn suggests maybe he should be in jail. Anna says Cassandra knows Valentin because he’s a criminal, but knows Finn to be an upstanding citizen. How is he going to convince her otherwise? He says he’ll find a way, but he can’t sit on his hands and do nothing. She tells him no, and Robin appears, asking if everything is okay.

Obrecht tells Nathan that her dismissal was blessing in disguise. She’s been doing some traveling, and Nathan asks if she saw Britt. She says Britt’s whereabouts are a mystery. He says, to everyone or just him? Obrecht changes the subject, wanting to know about the Man Landers story. He says it’s long and complicated. Maxie joins them, saying she’s glad it’s over, but she won’t rest until she  finds out who leaked the story. Someone went out of their way to ruin her career. Sam says she’ll be glad to help.

Valentin suggests he stay, but Nina says it’s a girl brunch, and she’ll walk him out. In the hallway, he asks what she thinks she’s doing. Nina says Cassandra believes she knows nothing about their business relationship. She thinks Valentin told her told her everything, but is convinced she knows nothing. She reminds him about keeping your friends close, and your enemies closer. She says after a few drinks, she’ll find Cassandra’s weak spot. Valentin says she knows his is Nina, but Nina says she’s not going to get away with it. Trust her.

Robin says she didn’t mean to pry. Finn says he’s just worked up about an excess of fentanyl ODs at the hospital. Robin says it’s been the same in Berkeley. I saw a woman hooked on fentanyl on Intervention once, and it was seriously scary stuff. Robin tells him as long as newer end cheaper drugs are produced, more generations will get hooked. He says it’s too bad they can’t stop it before it hits the streets. After Robin leaves, Anna tells Finn not to use her to make point, but Finn says even Robin can see how urgent it is; why can’t she? She says one of the reasons she’s involved is because of Robin.

Jordan asks how Curtis plans on drawing Andre out, and he says Andre likes to collect antiquities. His passion is now his cash flow. He made nice with the concierge, telling him that he’s into artifacts, and asked if he knows someone who might want to unload some. He did, and Curtis asked for a meeting in the café where they’re sitting. Jordan says they’ll have to hang back and hope Andre takes the bait.

Jason tells Dante that Diane is working on proving his identity, but Dante wonders if she shouldn’t be working on keeping him out of prison. He says that Jason’s attack on Franco was unprovoked, but he’ll testify against Franco if necessary. Jason says that’s not why he’s there. He needs to see his file from the night Faison shot him.

Nina confesses that she’s never been to Monte Carlo, and Cassandra jokes the friendship over. Nina says she’ll have to schedule a photo shoots there; the winters are killing her. Cassandra says she’s sure Port Charles has its charms, and she’ll be taking them in while she’s on business there. Nina asks what her business is. She mentioned she was in pharmaceuticals. Nina  tells her about an ad from a pharmaceutical company being pulled at the last minute, and says it must be hard dealing with the FDA. Cassandra says she prefers the European way of keeping business and friendship separate. Nina’s phone rings, and she says her new assistant is still getting the hang of things. She’s just now getting a message about an announcement her brother made an hour ago. Cassandra understands if she has to leave, and they make plans to get together soon.

Finn asks what Robin has to do with it, and Anna says she’s HIV positive. She was diagnosed about twenty years ago. Finn says he’s sorry, and Anna tears up. She says it was at a time when it was practically a death sentence, but she benefited from the advancement in the way the disease is treated. Her boyfriend wasn’t so lucky. Finn asks if she contracted it from him, and Anna nods. She says his name was Stone Cates, and Finn recognizes it from a wing at the hospital. Anna says Sonny endowed the wing in his memory. He was just a kid, and his girlfriend had been an IV drug user. She was just a kid too, but she got hooked, and her addiction changed the course of her life, Stone’s life, and Robin’s life forever. Drug addiction affected her in a different way than Finn, but it’s had an impact on her life nonetheless.

Robin tells Maxie that Noah and the baby will have to grow up being besties. Lulu asks Sam if she’s okay, and Sam says she’s just distracted. Lulu doesn’t know if it’s a bad time, but tells her about how she’s been doing some writing for a local publication, and wants to make a go of it. She asks if they’re hiring writers; she’s willing to start at the bottom. Sam says Lulu doesn’t have to do a hard sell; she’ll help. She gives Lulu the contact information for Peter August, telling her that he’s the new CEO. Lulu thought they were planning on running Aurora themselves, but Sam says it’s a big ship to steer. She’s just glad they found someone to be at the helm with them, since they’re in a lot of flux.

Dante tells Jason that the file doesn’t leave the building, room, or his sight. Jason’s identify hasn’t been legally proven, so it’s at his discretion, and he’s responsible. Sooner or later, it will be a file about himself. Sooner, if Sonny has anything to do with it. He calls Jason, Sonny’s right hand man.

Andre, looking spiffy in a straw fedora, comes up behind Curtis’s chair, and says he heard he’s looking to take something back from Cuba. Curtis gets up, and says, good to see you, doc. He never thought this day would come. Andre pushes him back, and they struggle

Maxie tells Felicia that she made so many mistakes with Georgie, she wants to get it right this time. Felicia says she knows she wasn’t the best mother, but Maxie says she’s managed to make up for lost time. Felicia says it’s love that matters the most, along with patience, forgiveness, sacrifice, and acceptance. She’s never met anyone with more love to give.

Nina tells Nathan it’s amazing. He’s going to be the most incredible, stupendous father on the planet. She’s happy for him.

Valentin visits Anna, and asks if he’s interrupting. She tells him that she’s explained to Finn that she’s using him as a mole instead. Finn says Valentin’s credentials are better than his. Anna says the risk outweighs the reward, but Finn says he’s only person who can create the chemical compound Cassandra needs to develop a new drug. Anna says it’s a terrible idea, but Valentin thinks it’s brilliant.

Robin tells Sam she knows how confusing it is, and apologizes for any part she played in the confusion. She saw his face, the same face she’d known her entire life. She had no idea he had a twin. If it’s any consolation, she has some idea of what she’s going through after what happened with her, Patrick, and Sabrina. Sam tells her to stop.

Jason tells Dante that he heard Sonny thought about getting out of the business. Dante says now he doesn’t have to; he has Jason back. Anyone who crosses Sonny will live to regret it. He loves Sonny, but hates what he does, and Jason enables him. No matter how much he likes Jason, they’ll always be on opposing sides.

Jordan tells Andre and Curtis to stop. Andre says he knew wouldn’t be long before they figured things out. Curtis tells him skipping out was a red flag. Jordan says they know he has information about Jason Morgan, and asks him to come with them to answer questions. He tells them they wasted their time. He’s not going back, and he’s not talking to anyone.

Robin and Sam apologize to each other. Robin tells Sam that she’s heading back, but she’s still reachable if Sam needs her. Nina approaches Sam, asking if she’s okay. Sam says people keep saying she’s confused, but she isn’t. She knows who her husband is, but can’t convince them.

Andre says it’s not going to get better, but Jordan says if he goes back, it would for a lot of people, namely Jason. Curtis says he’s a good friend. They’ve been to hell and back together, and he deserves to know what’s going on with his own life. Andre says he’s sympathetic, but already said too much. The people involved don’t want truth to come out. He says that Jordan has no jurisdiction in Cuba, and by the time she’s able to extradite him, he’ll be long gone.

Anna asks if Valentin is joking. He tells her that Cassandra is threatening his family. His wife has taken it upon herself to do recon for him, and she’s about as subtle as a freight train. Cassandra only trusts him if he’s in check, but has no reason to distrust her doctor friend. She’s actually fond of him; she likes his healing hands and bedside manner. Anna says she’s not sanctioning this. She’ll have Finn arrested for interfering and making narcotics with the intent to sell. Finn says he’s out of there. Valentin tells Anna that he seems like a keeper.

Mac asks what’s on Lulu’s mind. She tells him that she’s thinking of switching her career to journalism. She says it’s one thing to think about it, but it’s totally different to take the plunge. Mac remembers how he felt leaving the PCPD. He thought his life was over, but it was the best thing that ever happened to him. He’s able to do something he enjoys, and put his family first. They agree that if you do something you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. He tells her to do it; it worked for him.

Dante asks what Jason is looking for, and he says something to tell him where he’s been. Dante doesn’t think he’s going to find it there. Other than the phoenix figurine Sam gave him, there was nothing to be found after he fell in the water. Faison is a fugitive, so they can’t ask him any questions. All they even know about him is that he’s obsessed with Anna.

Valentin asks Anna why she’s flustered. She says she’s angry and frustrated. She asks him why he’s encouraging Finn. Is he trying to get him killed? He says that Finn would have to work hard to screw up. Anna tells him now she’s angry, frustrated, and annoyed; it’s a trifecta. Valentin says Cassandra is getting close to his wife and daughter, and if she doesn’t back off, he’ll have to take it into his own hands. Anna tells him to get out. He asks if she means out of her house or the operation, and she says it’s still on. He tells her she’s never had a problem putting people in harm’s way. What makes Finn different as an asset?

Finn orders black coffee. No shots, no syrup, no foam. Cassandra asks if he’s had a bad day, and is there anything she can do to help?

Dante congratulates Nathan, and tells him that he’s never going to get another night’s sleep as long as he lives. Maxie asks for everyone’s attention, and proposes a toast, reassuring them she has club soda. She says seeing them all reminds her and Nathan about how much love they have in their lives; Nathan adding, and how lucky their kid will be. They clink glasses.

Finn confesses he’s had a rotten morning, but Cassandra could make it better by joining him for coffee. She says she’d be delighted. Valentin sees them.

Jason goes to Anna’s house. She says she heard the rumors, and there he is. He tells her that he needs her help in finding Faison. He needs to know why he was shot, and what they’re after. Anna says she doesn’t know where he is, but Obrecht would. I get super excited, because Faison is my favorite GH character of all time. I met Andres Hove at a horror convention, where he did a panel with a soap actress whose name I don’t remember. They’d done a horror film together. When I asked them to sign a soap magazine, the both of them snatched it out of my hands, flipping through it to find themselves and their friends. I did eventually get it back, signed. He was really a nice guy, and oozed European charm.

Nina asks how Nathan feels, and he says he has a lot to think about. Mac and Felicia will be awesome grandparents, and he knows his mother is going to spoil their child. He says he never knew his biological father. Obrecht overhears.

Curtis says he’ll make a call to Anna. Jordan might not have jurisdiction, but the WSB does. Andre says he’ll be gone before they get there. Jordan says she doesn’t know how he got mixed up in this, but she knows he’s a healer. She has to believe he had higher purpose, and was doing it to heal in some way. He’s a good man. She never would have trusted her heart to him if she didn’t believe that. As someone he once loved, she’s asking him to come back and make it right.

Tomorrow, Oscar can’t stand not knowing who his father is, Franco wants to know why Elizabeth is taking his side, and Spinelli sees Jason.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Back at the retreat, the women pick a partner and role play. Siggy goes first, picking Margaret. Margaret starts whining about how beautiful the cake was, and how disrespectfully it was treated. Melissa wonders how they’re solving things this way. She doesn’t think this kind of role-playing will result in a happy ending. Siggy pretends to have pigtails, complaining about everything. Vikki tells them it was hard to watch. I don’t know if she means because of the situation or their bad acting. Siggy says she feels like Margaret got to know her better here. Calling her “Soggy” cut her to the core, bringing her back to a time she wasn’t accepted, and was bullied over her name. Vikki tells her to use it as a strength. Margaret says she thought she was being funny, and didn’t mean to hurt Siggy’s inner child. She apologizes, saying now that she knows, she’ll never do anything like that again. Siggy says she was coming from place of hurt – “a place of” being the new catchphrase. They’re good, and hug it out.

Melissa is next, and she says she had a problem with Siggy. She gets that Siggy was sensitive about the cake thing, but feels it was overreactive. She does a spot-on impression of Siggy welcoming Melissa into her home, proceeding to call her an a-hole, then asking for a show of hands as to who else thinks so. She ends with Siggy being a normal hostess again, and it’s all very funny. Siggy says her intention wasn’t to embarrass Melissa; she just wanted her to understand how much effort she’d put into the weekend. Melissa says she could have been more sensitive, but Siggy could have been too. Siggy wants to break down the wall between them, and they also hug it out.

Danielle wants to speak to Teresa about an old wound, surprising everyone, and causing Dolores to breathe a sigh of relief, although I wonder if she’s a little disappointed. Danielle says she and Teresa are in a good place, and she wants to stay there, but there’s an old wound that affected her daughters. Calling her a “prostitution whore” in front of her kids upset them. She’s continually been made fun of for it, and her kids were bullied. She needs to hear Teresa says she didn’t mean it. Teresa says if she could, she’d take it back, and she was coming from a place (sigh) of anger. Danielle asks if Teresa is willing to tell her daughters that. Teresa says whatever she can do to make it better, she will. In her interview, Dolores says that Danielle blames every hardship on Teresa. I’m really starting to dislike Dolores. She doesn’t know Danielle, it was a legitimate complaint, and it’s none of her business anyway. Teresa says there’s an Italian saying that the tongue breaks bones. Siggy thinks the group has taken huge steps in being more compassionate. I think so too, except for Dolores.

Joe #2 takes Milania to play race cars. Not like Matchbox cars, but ones you sit in and drive on an inside track. He says she’s been through a lot. Her mother and father going away (I love that euphemism), and her grandmother passing. They go for a snack afterward. Joe tells Milania that her mom is worried, and told him she was seeing her grandmother in the kitchen. He says she was his mother; he loved her and misses her. He tells Milania not to be a tough girl. When you talk about it, you feel better. She says it doesn’t feel real. Her grandma used to say one day she’ll die, and now it’s happened. He says he knows her dad isn’t around, but anything she needs, let him know, and not just if she wants something; he’s there to talk.

The ladies get ready for a last conversation. Siggy says the idea of the exercises was to get to a point of trust, and the last one is meant to take them to a deeper place. She asks them to tell something no one knows. Margaret says before Joe #3, she had the perfect family. Now, two of them don’t speak to her, and it’s been six years. Siggy says she should have ended the marriage first, like Margaret needs to hear that or could change it, and Margaret says ideally that should have happened. Vikki says her ex is the key, and to ask him to help mend with the children. Her best advice is to never give up. Siggy feels badly, because she’s having a hard time with Josh going to school, and can only imagine how hard and upsetting this is.

Teresa says they don’t all have perfect lives. When she came home, Joe #1 was drinking a lot. She wishes he’d been stronger, but realizes women are stronger than men. She does have resentment, but has to move on. Siggy says she’s taken on a lot, and inside, feelings have a way of festering and need to be released. In her interview, Melissa says Teresa needs to come out and tell Joe she wants an apology, but she’s not there yet.

Dolores invites everyone to her animal charity event. In her interview, Margaret says, are you kidding? She bares her soul, and Dolores asks everyone to come to her dog charity. But of course, she’ll go. Vikki thanks everyone, and thinks the test was successful. It’s awesome that they’re in a great place.

It’s back to routine. Teresa visits Siggy, bearing coffee. Siggy tells Teresa about getting the pellets in her behind, and how it’s been life-changing. She’s actually in the mood now. She asks when Teresa last saw Joe #1, and Teresa says it was before her mom got sick. In her interview, Siggy says that’s three months. She thinks Teresa is frustrated, sad, and holding resentment. Teresa tells Siggy that she’s guarded. Her upbringing was geared to not showing emotion, the old school way. Siggy says she has the right to feel how she does, and no one thinks she isn’t the strongest woman around. She tells Teresa to go against what she learned. Dig deep, and spill it.

Dolores explains that she got involved in the Onyx and Breezy Foundation after the love of her life, Boo, passed away last year. I remember that; it was really sad. It looks almost like a carnival, in a big field, with booths, and food, agility runs for the dogs, and things like a bouncy house for the kids. There are a lot of people there with dogs. Danielle brings her pups in a stroller. Teresa is afraid of dogs, but only big ones. Everyone agrees the retreat was great. Melissa asks Siggy if she’s talked to Danielle, who thinks she went kumbaya too quickly with Margaret. We see a clip of Danielle telling the women that of course she’d want to fix her own problem first to look good.

Danielle talks to Margaret, telling her that she doesn’t understand how they made up so fast, and it was convenient for Siggy to look good. Margaret says she has a point, and Danielle thinks she should be on guard. In her interview, Margaret says understands Danielle has been known to create drama, but thinks she has genuine concern.

Siggy tells Melissa that she doesn’t care. She thinks Danielle has things festering (another popular word), and it is what it is. In her interview, Siggy says she has history with the others, but nothing with Danielle. Two dogs do some weird thing that’s incredibly cute, and everyone goes, aww! Danielle and Margaret join the others. Dolores talks about Kim D.’s fashion show, and asks who’s going. Teresa isn’t, and Siggy doesn’t think it’s the right time to bring it up. Dolores says she and Siggy will be walking in it,  reminding them it’s a charity event for the two boys found in the burned car. Teresa reminds her about Kim D. spreading rumors that Joe #1 was cheating on her. Dolores says she was just throwing it out there, but obviously no one is interested. In her interview, Teresa says of course she’s not going, and she doesn’t think her friends should either. Kim D. is creepy. She reminds me of Sylvia Miles in Midnight Cowboy.

Melisa visits Margaret’s showroom, and she has the cutest stuff! Melissa tells us that no one wanted to help her without cost, but Margaret said she’d show her the ropes. Melissa tells Margaret that boutiques are everywhere in New Jersey. She’s still new to the game, and trying to figure out a way to separate herself from the others. Margaret says she has to find what no one else has. Maybe go to Europe, and find brands no one else is carrying. Margaret invites her to come to Milan, where she’s having her shoe line designed. Melissa says it would be beneficial, and she’d love to. Oddly enough, she’s never been to Italy.

Siggy and Dolores go to Kim D.’s store, Posche. They try on outfits for the show, and she has them do their walk. Siggy says that Melissa and Teresa won’t be coming because they don’t like her, and remember the last time. Kim says everyone was thinking it, but she said it. Siggy says it was only rumors. Anybody can say anything, but unless you have a picture of the “weewee entering the cookie,” people should mind their own business. She says Teresa has been through hell and back, and is working her butt off. Kim says she heard Teresa is rekindling an old flame. Siggy and Dolores don’t want to hear it. Siggy says Teresa has no old flames; the only man she’s ever been with is Joe #1, although no one would blame her. Kim says forget it then, and Dolores says it’s forgotten until they have to tell her what Kim said, and she’ll shoot the messenger. Kim thinks Joe treated her horribly, and Siggy has to leave. It amazes me that they’d even want to be friends with this woman. I don’t care how long they’ve known her. She’s horrifying.

The ladies are meeting for dinner at Fresco. Melissa and Teresa are there first. Teresa says she just dropped Gabriella off at a bat mitzvah, and Melissa says it’s that season. Teresa has to explain that a bat mitzvah or bar mitzvah is related to a 13th birthday. Margaret, Danielle, and the weird ass Bobbsey twins arrive. Melissa talks about how fabulous Margaret’s collections are, and how she’s going to Milan. She thinks everyone should come, because she’s out of her mind. Siggy chooses this time to make it clear that she and Dolores are walking in the fashion show.

Teresa asks why, and Dolores tells her about what Kim D. said regarding Teresa rekindling an old flame. Melissa says not only has Kim done things to hurt her and her family, on top of it, she’s saying Teresa is a cheater, and they’re still supporting her. Siggy says it’s for charity, and Dolores says she’s neutral; she’s known Kim for twenty years. Oh, I see. For her, it’s okay to be neutral, but anyone else who is, isn’t loyal. Melissa says everything Kim D. says and stands for is bullsh*t. In her interview, Dolores pities Teresa for not seeing she’s her truest friend. This woman is delusional. We flash back to Kim D. stirring up rumors that Melissa was a stripper. Melissa tells Dolores she has to pick a side, and Dolores doesn’t get it. Siggy says when she and Margaret weren’t getting along, she didn’t tell them not to go to Margaret’s party. I just stare at Siggy blankly. Melissa lists all of the things Kim has done, and says she’s a vial human being. Siggy says she can only judge on the way Kim treats her. Margaret says Hitler wouldn’t have killed her; should they have been friends? Snap! Teresa is fuming, and Dolores says no one would blame Teresa if it was true. Teresa smashes a glass against the wall, and says they should have stuck up for her. Dolores says they did, and they both get loud, with Dolores leaning nearly all the way across the table. Margaret pulls her back. She insists she stuck up for Teresa, and tells Melissa not to tell her what to do. Siggy says it’s not about Kim, but about the dead kids, and doesn’t she have a heart, since I guess Siggy never heard of just sending a check. Margaret says they’re both hurt, and Dolores tells her to shut up. Margaret says, no thanks, she won’t shut up. Dolores and Siggy leave, with Danielle saying a line has been drawn in the sand, and telling them to have a nice time.

Outside, Siggy tells Dolores they did the right thing by telling Teresa, and Dolores says they did stand up for her. In the restaurant, Melissa is like, great, and I just invited them to Milan. Teresa can’t believe they’re supporting Kim after what she did. It’s screwed up. She wants to confront Kim, and Melissa says it would be like walking into the lion’s den. Danielle says they’ll all go. They’ll walk in like Charlie’s effing Angels, plus one, do what they have to do, and leave. Melissa says okay, and Margaret says she’s never been to a shakedown before. Danielle tells her they’re going to win, and Melissa says, kill me now.

Next time, a medium visits Joe #2 and Teresa, Kim D. and Teresa go at it, and Teresa tells Siggy eff-you.

👌 Who knows? Maybe she is just stirring the pot, but I like Danielle. She set the bar early on. I’d take a guess that she was told to put the book on the table that Teresa flipped, but she took that ball and ran with it. She’s the best thing that could have happened to this season. Her, and Teresa getting sprung.

🌟 Star began with a round of interviews about the shooting, and how it’s a normal occurrence. It was really good until they threw in Al Sharpton playing himself on the TV. Noah and Alex played it up for the cameras, which Star wasn’t happy about, but wouldn’t admit. Ayanna got custody of Simone, and her father put the pressure on about getting the numbers up, causing her to move up the showcase date. The girls were in though. Noah was also hitting the bottle pretty hard, but Joyce was the one who keeled over due to an OD. Ayanna hoped Joyce would go to rehab, and gave Simone a Xanax to calm her down, which made perfect sense. Brody’s loan shark was breathing down his neck, threatening his daughter. Under the guise of needing to use the bathroom, he snuck around upstairs at the beauty shop. Later, he got an eyeful of the pictures of a battered Star, and heard Hunter’s frantic calls to her afterward. Jahil and Carlotta tried to save Cotton from herself (again), and Jahil shot her boyfriend in the leg. Cotton claimed she needed him, but Carlotta told her to stay away from his sorry ass. Noah ended up kissing Alex for real, and she told him to back off. She went back to Derek, but thought about Noah when she was in bed with him. Next time is the finale, because seasons are only like, six episodes now.

🌴🍹 The new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills starts on Tuesday, December 9th, at 9pm. I can’t wait! Giggy!

❄ If you get a chance, check out Bravo’s Winter Warm-Up. Stassi Schroeder (Vanderpump Rules) and Kyle Cooke (Summer House) host a line-up of clips from the new seasons of the old shows and the premieres of the new ones.

😎 Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard from The People’s Couch have a new podcast, Dumb Gay Politics. I haven’t listened in yet, but they were hysterically funny on the couch. You can tune in here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dumb-gay-politics/id1181557793?mt=2

DumbPolitics

October 22, 2017 – A Shah Reunion, a Dead Return, Random TV Thoughts & Creepy Costumes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Shahs of Sunset – Reunion Part One

As usual, the venue is gorgeous, an old Hollywood theater, and there’s an incredible spread of food. Andy asks the Shahs who would play each of them in a movie, and everyone is totally unrealistic, except for Shervin, who says Kahl Drago from Game of Thrones (Jason Momoa). He doesn’t have the body, but damn if he doesn’t look like him. Reza has lost his mustache and forty-three pounds. We see before and after pictures. Andy asks who has had work done, and MJ finds that offensive. Asa says people are open about what they want to be open about, and insists MJ’s lips are not her own. GG and Mike start arguing, and Andy moves on.

He asks how Asa is enjoying motherhood, and she says it’s magical and difficult. We don’t get any photos though, because Jermaine wants to be private about that. She’s hoping to Instagram some in the future. There haven’t been any playdates yet, but Janet Jackson and Asa’s babies are only two weeks apart, so she expects it will happen. She says her relationship being bi-racial caused extra conversation. Mike says Asa turned his inquiry about getting married into something else. MJ wonders why Asa can’t just answer questions honestly. Mike says she went on a social media rant about racism, and isn’t the righteous person she claims to be. He thinks she’s hyper-sensitive, but she says she’s just more aware. Mike didn’t mean to offend anyone, he just wanted her to share. Asa claims he has casual racism. Whatever that is.

The Shahs were the first show to travel to Israel, making Bravo history. Woohoo. Andy asks GG about Reza saying eff Iran, and why it upset her. She says her family is from there. Reza says it’s a terrorist country, and until there’s another gay Persian on the stage, no one else can contradict his opinion. Shervin make noises about the people of Iran, and Reza says he didn’t mean the kindergarteners, he meant the government, and should have said Islamic Republic. Andy talks about them causing a commotion that wasn’t aired, and we see a clip of them getting kicked out of a restaurant. Reza explains that the owner wanted more money, and when a producer said, “no problem,” he heard “no” and “problem,” and misunderstood. They talk about the city where Asa thought the Muslims and Jews were intermingling well, and Reza says it was more like a Muslim ghetto. Mike says they seemed aggressive to the people there, getting in their faces with cameras. Asa thinks they had a certain vibe that they were giving off.

They talk about the Western Wall. Mike says the feeling was remarkable. Reza says he literally felt something embrace him, and felt an energy from the Wall. GG starts to say something, and Mike says to be careful, since he stuck up for her. She felt the Wall was a barrier, and talks about someone saying “jihad” to her. Mike says there are idiots everywhere, but he knew what she meant and had her back.

Next up is MJ. Vida and Tommy join the group. Andy wonders what MJ was smoking to live in her mother’s apartment complex. MJ says it’s the winter of her father’s life, and she wanted to be close by. She tells us he’s doing much better, but she’d expected to be on a totally different life plan. We flash back to MJ and Tommy arguing about having kids. MJ says she was in a panic at the time, but when she saw the show, she knew how much Tommy loved and supported her. Tommy says it was a tough year for her, and he didn’t want to throw his reluctance to have kids at her too, but now the time is right. Vida again says she’s not ready to be a grandmother. She says the parents have to be ready for responsibility. MJ is annoyed that her mother is still discouraging her, and Reza suggests she’s projecting. Andy asks if Vida was ready when she had MJ, and after a pause, Vida says she didn’t plan it. Reza says she should end with icing on it, like saying she was happy once she had MJ. She does say she’s started to like Tommy, and everyone’s mouths drop open. GG says hell has officially frozen over. Vida says she’ll marry Tommy if MJ doesn’t, and I wonder what on earth happened. Andy asks when the wedding is, and Tommy says whenever MJ is ready. Andy offers to officiate.

He asks who has changed the most for the better, and Vida thinks it’s Mike; he’s more mature and relaxed. He asks what about the worst, and she calls Asa ungrateful. She owes everything she has to the show, but doesn’t even watch it. If she doesn’t like an opinion, she gets negative, because she’s only interested in promoting herself. How did Vida become so insightful? Is MJ slipping Vida weed edibles or something?

Destiney was on People’s Couch! Omg, I hadn’t realized that. I loved that show, and now that they mention it, I wonder why I didn’t recognize her or even her voice. We see a clip. A viewer says there’s undeniable sexual tension between Mike and Destiney. Really? I don’t think so. Destiney says they’re both hot-headed individuals, and it wouldn’t be healthy for anyone. She talks about what she wants in a man, and someone suggests Shervin, but she says there are no penises on that stage for her.

Nice segue to Shervin and Annalise’s relationship. Shervin tells them it’s an open relationship, which is news to everyone, but he says she didn’t want it shared. Andy asks if anyone believes it, and they all say no. Destiney says she was Shervin’s number one fan, until she hit a nerve asking him about cheating, and he came at her. We flash back, and Andy calls it a half-assed confession. Shervin gets Annalise on FaceTime. MJ leaves the stage. Andy asks Annalise if they have an open relationship. She tells him that she thinks it’s foolish to expect monogamy when she’s on the other side of the world. She’s not dating anyone else, but could if she wanted to. Annalise says you can’t cheat on someone if it’s not exclusive. We say g’day, and she’s gone. MJ thinks it was rehearsed. I think it’s one-sided openness, and she’s letting him cheat on her.

Andy tells us another bone of contention was MJ using the word bastard, but MJ insists there was no venom behind it. Asa says she expected more from Reza, but he says he can’t control what someone else says or how they feel. We flash back to Asa telling MJ it’s an ugly word, and MJ saying she was referring to herself. Reza deflects, saying Asa has claimed she’d had no hormonal treatments, then revealed she had frozen embryos. She’d confided in him about it previously, and he says he never told anyone, so he was shocked. Asa gets it, but says he’s smart, and she can’t believe he was thrown off by what she said. Reza says she answered so casually about the embryos, he was floored. He wondered what else was going to come out. He tells her that’s why they’re where they are in their relationship.

Andy asks why it wasn’t shared earlier. Reza says Asa asked him not to say anything, but he wished she and MJ would have had an honest conversation. Asa says their relationship wasn’t like that, but MJ says at the time, they had exchanges on a regular basis. Andy asks if Asa can’t see how it would raise questions. He asks if she went through IVF, and she says not with her son, but for the embryos, like an insurance policy. She felt hurt, because she had discussed it with Reza before. Andy asks if Asa understands how she put Reza in an awkward position. He asks if the group believes her, but only Mike does. The camera goes to Reza…

To be continued.

Next time, Mike and Jessica are discussed, Shalom joins the group, Reza’s faithfulness is questioned, and more Asa and MJ angst.

The Walking Dead – Episode 100

I hate when they start off all weird. We see a shot of flowers, a cane, Rick, and an alarm clock. Rick is standing over a grave.

Everyone is getting ready for battle. Rick gives a mini-speech, telling them Jesus said his world would get bigger, and it did. They found each other. The world is theirs, and they’ve come together, for it it’s theirs by right. At the Sanctuary, Dwight gets a note via arrowgram that says, tomorrow. Rick says anyone with common ground, it’s theirs too, but those who want it to be theirs alone, they end them. They don’t celebrate it or have shame. Only one person has to die and he’ll kill them himself. Dwight sends an arrow note back to Daryl. Rick says they’ll keep making the world bigger together. Ezekiel says together bound forever. He who sheds his blood today will be his brother. Shiva growls. Maggie says they may have to live in uncertainty, but have to keep faith in each other. If they can hold onto that, the future and world are theirs.

Tara and Carol sit on a bridge, where a billion zombies are passing underneath.

Rick does what he does best, ponders.

A bearded Rick opens his eyes. He hears music.

Carl goes on a gas run. He finds a bunch of cars near a gas station that have been halfway stripped, some with rotting corpses in them. Someone says, hi, and we all crap our pants. He draws his gun. The guy says he’s been shot at and had a microwave at him, but his mom said helping a traveler is everything. He gets not trusting people. Carl looks around as the man talks. He says he understands Carl doesn’t know him, but he hasn’t eaten in a few days and Carl might not even be real. He reveals himself. Carl draws his gun, but the guy raises his hands, and says, it’s cool. Someone else starts shooting at him, and the guy jets. Rick appears, telling Carl that they were supposed to meet at the intersection. Carl isn’t happy with Rick shooting at a defenseless person, and Rick says he just shot over his head; he wanted him to be gone. Carl says he’s not a spy, not one of them. Rick hopes he makes it. Carl says there isn’t going to be enough. Rick asks enough what, and Carl says, hope. Carl walks off, and Rick gazes at a slow-moving zombie.

A Savior in a lookout tower is shot, and falls to the ground, where a zombie is overjoyed that a picnic lunch just dropped from heaven. Daryl scratches a lookout off of his list, and picks off another guy. He makes strike marks on his gun, along with updating the list. Morgan impales one of the lookouts, which surprises me. Father Gabriel tells Rick that everyone is ready; is he? Rick says one person brought it to this. Gabriel says it always starts with one person, adding this did, meaning their group at Alexandria. Rick says it’s not about him.

Rick says goodbye to Judith, who is in college now. Not really; she’s a toddler. He kisses Michonne, and hugs Carl. He says this is the end, and drives away in a caravan of cars and trucks, shielded with corrugated iron panels. Carl tells Michonne he knows she wanted to go; he did too. She says it hurts, but they have to defend this place.

A guy teases a zombie chained to a tree. Rick knocks him out, and he goes through the guy’s stuff. Dude says Rick’s boy is gonna die. Rick lets the zombie go, and I say, ah-ha! in a Nelson voice.

Everyone gathers in a big field like it’s a soccer match. They all chit chat. Shiva gets off her tour bus a school bus. Maggie says she needs to be there for the first part. Rick is concerned about her pregnancy, but she says she can wage war through the second trimester. She has one more fight, and she’s gonna be there. Ezekiel says Hilltop lost their doctor, but there’s one at The Kingdom. He says they can join him, but Jesus says they’ll get theirs back. Ezekiel says on this day, they reshape the world for the children to come. Rick says Hilltop is lucky to have Maggie, and she says he made her someone worth following. He tells her next time, he’ll be following her.

Daryl, Tara, Gabriel and Carol wait at the bridge. Tara counts down, but nothing happens. Here comes the zombie horde, and Tara says she was close. The group walks off, leaving a car behind that blows up.

Negan’s people come out. This is like a Sharks and Jets rumble. Regina says she wants blood, and Dwight says maybe she’ll get lucky.

Daryl and company string a wire across the road.

The guards on the roof of the Sanctuary are picked off by Rick’s people. The caravan drives in past the line of chained up zombies. I feel sorry for them. They must get really bored. Rick’s people draw their guns. They shoot in the air. This is a rumble.

Negan comes out and says, well, sh*t. Sorry, he was in a meeting. I hope they don’t kill him. He’s one of the few senses of humor this show has going for it. And Eugene.

We see Rick with teary eyes, some flowers, and older-looking Rick with a beard. Why? Why do they do this? I hate this cryptic stuff. Bearded Rick get up. Everything is cool, and he’s with Michonne in a beautiful house.

Negan isn’t exactly feeling he has a reason to shoot, He cares about his people. he doesn’t want to play whose d*ck is bigger. His is, and they know it, but if it wasn’t, he could accept it. He’s not going to let people die over it, like Rick is about to. He asks what the hell he can do for him. Rick calls out the Hilltoppers and Eugene. He says they have chance to survive. They can live if they surrender. He can’t guarantee that at any time but right now.

Morgan goes down to the road.

Negan asks, what about me? Rick says he told Negan twice. Negan tells Rick that he has no idea the sh*t that’s about to go down. Does he think he has the numbers for this fight? He doesn’t. Simon brings out Gregory, who says Hilltop stands with Negan and the Saviors. Any Hilltoppers who support Rick are no longer welcome in the colony. Negan says, and… Gregory tell them that they’re families will be thrown out and left to fend for themselves. Go home now, or there will be no home to go back to. Maggie tells Jesus to do what he needs to do, and he says all he has are a bunch of books and old lobster bib. Negan tells them to go back to separating wheat or whatever they do. Maggie says doesn’t look like anyone is going. Jesus says Hilltop stands with Maggie.

Morgan pikes a zombie. He sees a car coming.

Simon says (tee-hee) he’s invested a lot in Gregory, and he’s disappointed. He pushes Gregory down the stairs.

Cars come. Morgan waits. Sh*t blows up.

Negan says it sound like sh*t (the word of the night) is going down. Negan looks pretty pissed, and Rick asks if he’s going to make him count. Negan smiles. Rick counts down from ten, but when he gets to seven, starts to shoot

Lots of shooting back and forth. Negan and company go inside. Rick’s people shoot out the windows.

Morgan joins Carol, Tara, and Daryl. Carol says it’s starting, and the zombies arrive. Daryl waits while the others go ahead. He rides forward of the horde, and shoots, creating an explosion.

Rick and company shoot up everything. Daryl continues to blow stuff up. The zombie horde keeps walking. A stray zombie wanders by when Daryl sets off one of his explosions. Cool. A truck drives into the Sanctuary gate and explodes. Negan limps out. Rick is relentless with his machine gun. Gabriel says they have to leave now. Rick messes around with a Polaroid camera. I don’t know if now is the time to take candid snaps.

An entrance for the zombie horde has been opened up by the truck. Gabriel is about to leave in one of the cars, and sees Gregory. Leave him, you idiot. He doesn’t listen to me, and dashes over to Gregory. They’re being shot at, but Gabriel tells him to wait for their moment. Gregory doesn’t wait. He runs to Gabriel’s car, and drives off, because he’s a selfish a-hole.

Carl goes back to the gas station. He leaves cans of food with a note that says, sorry. The new guy watches.

Rick’s group regroups. Ezekiel smiles.

Daryl tells Rick they can wait until tomorrow. Rick says they can’t. Gabriel stopped to get him when Negan almost killed him. It isn’t about him.

Morgan asks if one of the Hilltoppers can hit the guard with an arrow. She says she wouldn’t bet on it, but I would, because she does. They open a gate. Is this the back way? Someone lobs a grenade at them, and there’s a lot of smoke.

Tons of zombies are walking into the Sanctuary. Gabriel jets through them, and goes inside a trailer. Negan says he hopes Gabriel has his sh*ttin’ pants on, because he’s about to sh*t his pants. Negan laughs. Gabriel gulps. Tons of zombies scratch and scrabble at the trailer. We see a crane shot of all the zombies descending on the Sanctuary.

Judith runs to bearded Rick, babbling about an owl. Michonne tells him the festival is being taken very seriously. Judith wants to see the owl, and they go outside. It’s all beautiful and green.

Teary-eyed Rick talks to his people. He says mercy prevails over his land. He doesn’t want to wait for it anymore. They don’t either. They don’t have to start tomorrow. Right now, with everything they’ve borne and endured, everything they’ve risen above, if they start right now, no matter what comes next, they’ve won. They’ve already won.

😪 The episode was dedicated to John Bernecker and George Romero. John was a stuntman who worked on Walking Dead’s eighth season who died from a head injury he sustained in a fall. George, who also passed away this year, is the man who started it all with Night of the Living Dead, the first zombie allegory. My personal favorite is Dawn of the Dead, the perfect statement on consumerism. I also recommend Martin, a gem of a vampire film, but it’s hard to find. I had the pleasure of meeting George at a screening at the Waverly Theater in Greenwich Village, home of the original Rocky Horror Picture Show.

🎭 Glad to hear UnReal will be returning February 26, 2018. I’m not sure they’ll be able to top the real Bachelor in Paradise debacle that recently happened though.

💍 I’m still following the 90 Day Fiancé franchise, and taking notes. It’s been a helluva busy month, and then someone threw Halloween in there. Hey, we do a whole theme with the dogs here. All right, I do a whole theme. I’ve also been watching My Giant Life, which follows some very tall girls. Like the shows with little people, the struggle is real to live in an average height world.

🏡 Channel Zero: No End House continues to intrigue, although I’ve had to watch it On Demand due to TV scheduling conflicts. It’s very weird, and I’m not so sure I know what’s going on all the time, but it’s not as weird as last season, where I really had no idea what was going on with that monster made of teeth. This season brought us a house that the characters are exploring – it just appeared out of nowhere – where each room holds a different terror. The last couple of episodes brought them to a room that opened to a parallel town. At first, they thought they’d found a way out, but then realized they were stuck with no way out. The dead were alive again, a doppelganger insisted he was a better version of his double, and no one knew who was real. Offbeat and odd, but I like it.

For Your Halloween Viewing Pleasure…

👻 Creepy Vintage Costumes 👻

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HalloweenCostume5 HalloweenCostume2

HalloweenCostume3

January 26, 2017 – Franco on the Edge of Found & Something Completely Random

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly goes to Sonny’s place and sees something for Morgan in the mail pile. She tells Sonny she doesn’t know why she’s surprised, but she hasn’t had to deal with it since his main residence was at Sonny’s. Sonny shows her an entire pile of Morgan’s mail that he can’t deal with. He says he’s accepted Morgan is gone, but part of him doesn’t want to do that. He suggests they go through the mail together.

Elizabeth tells the others that they don’t have enough proof for either theory about Franco, and suggests calling the police.

Alexis stares at the two fingers of wine she just poured, and says she can do this. Whether she means drink it or not drink it, I’m not sure.

Michael gives Nell a keychain with tiny ice skates on it for when she decides to get back out there. He thanks her for the pep talk she gave Josslyn. Nell says all she did was repeat what Michael had told her, that you can keep finding people to blame or make the best of it. He hopes she can take it to heart as well, and get over her bad memories. She focuses on a picture of Carly and Sonny.

Sonny and Carly go through the mail. Carly wishes she could tell Morgan how proud she is that he kept trying. She sees some credit card bills, and Sonny says he meant to call, but kept putting it off. He wonders if he should delete Morgan’s name from his phone. Carly comes across some charges for some things like a first-class ticket to Australia and gambling websites. She says Morgan was manic, and obviously hurting and trying to fix himself. She says she knew something was wrong, and wonders why they didn’t save him.

Alexis swirls the wine around in the glass and sniffs it like she’s at a five-star restaurant.

Sam doesn’t think involving the police is a good idea, and Kiki agrees. She says they’ll just assume Franco is on the run. They all agree to share any information they find, and Kiki and Dillon wander off. Sam tells Elizabeth to keep her theories to herself. Elizabeth says she’s sure it was self-defense, but if they don’t say something, Franco’s disappearance won’t be treated like a kidnapping case. Sam begs Elizabeth to keep her mother out of it. Like Sam would do that if the shoe was on the other foot.

Dillon and Kiki decide to leave and get some lunch. Kiki drops her purse, and Franco’s note falls out. Of course she doesn’t notice.

Michael gets a call from Tracy, who wants to meet because she’s upset about a business decision he made. He tells Nell that he thinks his decision was a good one. The company they were going to invest in has a bad carbon footprint history, so he decided to drop them. GH’s way of being current.

Sonny tells Carly they didn’t know how much Morgan was hurting. She says her head understands that, but not so much her heart. She thinks they should get someone else to deal with the mail. She has to go to work, and tells Sonny that she loves him. She knows grieving apart was a mistake, and they need each other. She tells him that she trusts him more than anyone.

Lulu tells Laura and Doc about what happened with Charlotte. She says she doesn’t need Valentin to poison Charlotte against her, since she’s doing fine by herself. Doc suggests family therapy. Lulu says she knows Dante would be on board, but Doc says he wasn’t referring to her and Dante.

Dante tells Nathan to leave for his honeymoon before something else happens. Elizabeth comes into the station and tells them they have the wrong suspect. Dante is like, see what I mean? Elizabeth tells them that Franco figured out who the real killer is. She says the person is related to someone he hurt badly, and he doesn’t want to hurt them anymore. She thinks she figured it out though, and tells them that she thinks it’s Alexis.

Sam goes to visit Alexis. She tells Alexis that Elizabeth might be at the police station, and wants to know if there’s anything Alexis isn’t telling her. She asks if there’s someone else Alexis thinks might harm Franco.

Kiki and Dillon have lunch. She thanks him for distracting her from the Franco situation. He wipes something from her face (bleh) and kisses her. Carly pops up from behind the bar. She says don’t mind her, but maybe they can keep their PDA to a minimum. Kiki says Morgan was her first love and she’ll never forget him. She’s sorry she hurt him, and if Carly needs to hurt her to feel better, she understands. Carly says she didn’t like the way Kiki handled things, but at the end, it was just bad. She asks Kiki if she knew he was gambling again, but that’s a no. Carly says it’s difficult seeing Kiki move on when she doesn’t have the option, but she knows Morgan would want her to be happy even if Carly can’t be.

Sonny takes his phone out. He’s about to delete Morgan as a contact, but can’t do it.

Nell asks Michael if it’s possible to let go of what you want in order to help someone else. Michael asks if she’ll still be his friend if he ends up unemployed and moving back in with his parents. She points out that he lives with his grandmother already. We both say, ouch! Carly comes in and tells Nell she needs her for something.

Elizabeth tells Nathan and Dante that she knows it sounds crazy. Nathan asks what motive Alexis would have. Elizabeth says she doesn’t think Tom was rehabilitated in prison. Dante asks if she thinks Tom attacked Alexis, but Elizabeth says she doesn’t think Alexis even remembers. She adds that she thinks there’s someone in Alexis’s life who would protect her at any cost.

Alexis realizes that Sam is hinting around about Julian and says he has nothing to do with it. Sam tells Alexis that Julian has always lied to her, but Alexis says she believes him about this. After everything that has happened, she can see into his soul (gag). Sam asks Alexis not to tell her she’s falling in love with him again.

Doc suggests Lulu go to therapy with Valentin if they’re going to co-parent. Lulu thinks that’s insane, but Doc tells her to look at it from Charlotte’s POV. Lulu says they’re not going to co-parent, and she wants nothing less than full custody. Doc says that’s what she wants, but what about Charlotte?

Elizabeth suggests that Julian got rid of Franco. She wonders if he had Franco killed, and Nathan says they’ll do everything that can to find him.

Alexis tells Sam that ship didn’t just sail, it was set on fire and shoved out to sea like a Viking boat. She says Julian only helped her get sober. Sam says it doesn’t look like it to her, and brings out the bottle from Diane that Alexis tried to hide.

Michael tells Carly that Morgan died because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He says Morgan had the fiercest, most protective, badass mom in the world, but she couldn’t prevent what she didn’t know about.

Sonny’s doorbell rings. It’s Nell.

Laura thinks Lulu should hear Kevin out. Lulu says her main goal is Charlotte’s happiness, but she doesn’t think it will end up being shared custody. She gets up to go, and Doc says sorry for upsetting her. She says he’s just given her a lot to think about. After she’s gone, Doc apologizes to Laura. She’s cool with it, but says she’s surprised he can be impartial about the man who shot him.

Alexis tells Sam that she stared at it, swirled it, and sniffed it, but when she was about to take a drink, she saw a picture of the girls, and knew how much she’d disappointed Sam. She says she’s going to have to talk to Molly and Kristina, and disappoint them too. She tells Sam that it’s a struggle, and according to AA, it will last for a while. Yeah, it’s called your whole life. She says she owes Jason an apology too, but Sam says not to worry about it. She tells Alexis not to answer the door, since it could be the cops, but Alexis says she’ll be a lawyer again by then.

Dillon asks if Kiki is okay and if she needs time alone. Kiki asks if he thinks that Carly meant what she said about Morgan wanting her to be happy. Dillon says he thinks in time Carly will want her to be happy too, but maybe not in her restaurant. Kiki says she wants to be happy again, and he makes her happy. She says to hell with tacky behavior, and they kiss.

Carly tells Michael that she saw Kiki kissing Dillon and she was caught off guard. She adds that life goes on, and Michael says we honor the people we lost by living. Carly says he’s wise beyond his years, and wonders how that happened. He says if Dillon makes Kiki happy, he’s happy for her. He tells Carly that ever since New Year’s, he and Nell have gotten close. Carly says she thought they were just friends, but he feels like they’re starting to build something else.

Nell tells Sonny that Carly sent her there to go through Morgan’s mail. Sonny isn’t comfortable with that, and Nell asks what she should tell Carly. Sonny says that Nell has some anger going on, and Nell acts ignorant. He says he knows something about rage, and there’s something behind her smile. He says if it’s not directed at him, who’s it aimed at?

Kiki thanks Dillon for being understanding, and he asks if she’s ready to get to work. She asks him if he still wants her to go to Crimson, and he says unpaid assistants are the best kind. He has tons of stuff to go through for the wedding issue.

Carly asks Michael if he and Nell are on the same page. She doesn’t want to discourage him, but she says Nell is involved with someone else – a married man. I love how Carly keeps going around saying this when all Nell told her was that she was unavailable.

Nell tells Sonny that Carly told her to bring the mail back to the office, and should she do that, or tell Carly that he wouldn’t give it to her? He tells her to do what Carly asked. Changing the subject, he says that he’s been so consumed with anger, it nearly destroyed him. She says she’s not angry, and he says yes, she is. She might have her reasons, but it doesn’t matter. If she keeps feeding the anger, it will consume everything else she cares about.

Alexis pours out the wine and tells herself she can do this. She can do it for the girls and herself. Dante suddenly shows up. He wants to ask her some questions about Tom.

Nathan says he’ll keep Elizabeth updated. He says Franco has a long criminal history, and wonders why she thinks he’s innocent. She says that despite his past, she has faith that Franco has changed, and she knows the truth always comes out.

Sam runs back into the bar and finds her phone. She sees the note on the floor. It says, Help! I’ve been locked in a storage container, and to call Elizabeth Webber.

Tomorrow, Amy 2.0 tells Hayden that she and Finn are considered a hot item, Elizabeth wants to work with Jason, and Dante asks Alexis where she was on December 21st.

A Random Recommendation

I was thinking that I’m going to name my next dog Joe Buck, just so I can say, “Where’s that Joe Buck?” Anyway, this got me thinking about Midnight Cowboy and the lengths I went to see it for the first time. Even though it won the Oscar for Best Picture, it was rated X, and back then they actually cared. I was 13 or 14 when it came out, and I desperately wanted to see it. I was crazy about Dustin Hoffman, having recently seen Little Big Man, and I’d spent all night reading the book one Saturday that I’d stayed overnight at my sister’s house. She’s ten years older than I am, and was already a grown-up. She would gladly have taken me, but X meant no one under 18 admitted. By today’s standards, it’s rated PG-13 and very tame. There’s very little nudity in it, although the subject matter is adult.

For those who’ve never seen it (and you’re missing out), the story’s protagonist is Joe Buck (John Voight), a clueless guy from Texas, who thinks he’s going to make millions being a hustler in New York. And his idea of a hustler is a gigolo. (Giggy!) Right off the bat (or bus, as it were), he gets taken for a ride by a woman (Sylvia Miles) who he’d expected to make money from. An interesting side note is that the director had thought they had hired a real hooker for the role, not realizing Sylvia was an actress. I’d say that means you’re doing your job. After Joe loses money to her, he loses the rest of it to Ratso Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman), a homeless man living in a condemned building whose dream it is to go Florida. Obviously, he’s a better hustler than Joe. They eventually become friends, and I don’t want to spoil the rest. The film starts about halfway through the book, so we don’t entirely know why Joe thinks the way he does, but it’s not necessary. The story is really about the human condition and how everyone has a dream. It’s also worth watching for the 60s NYC vibe. One of my RHPS cohorts from the late 70s is in a party scene. If you watch it, he’s the guy who says, “Up? Or down?” and shakes two pill bottles.

The movie was on its second time around, which is also of the bygone days. Movies stayed a lot longer in the theaters – well, for one, there were fewer films then – and they usually stopped by again within the next year, possibly as the B-picture in a double-feature. (♫ Science Fiction! Double Feature! ♫ Sorry.) That fall, my maternal grandmother had this idea to take me on a bus tour through New England, a story in itself. You go on a month week long trip with a bunch of old people singing Let Me Call You Sweetheart over and over. It was worth it though. When we got to Boston, Midnight Cowboy was playing across the street from our hotel. It was the second feature, with Women in Love, based on a book by D.H. Lawrence, being the main one. (Alan Bates and a young Oliver Reed – score!) The box office was run by teenagers who couldn’t have cared less how old I was, so after grandma went to sleep at 8 o’clock, I snuck across the street with a purse full of tissues, as both movies are tear jerkers.

So that’s my Midnight Cowboy story – no, I never got caught – and my recommendation. It’s a film well worth watching, and unless your heart is made of stone, it will stir your compassion for humanity, especially for those who have nothing but a dream.

🍷 Speaking of which (my dream job being to get paid to watch TV), whatever happened to The People’s Couch? Is it ever coming back? It’s like one of my favorite shows ever.

April 1, 2016 — GH Twofold & Quotable Couches

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital — Thursday

Emma has come for a visit with Anna and they’re at Kelly’s. Griff comes in and Emma introduces herself, asking if he’s a friend of her grandma’s. He says he’d like to be and that hopefully this will make it easier, and hands Anna a document.

Epiphany tells Finn that the only service animals allowed at the hospital are dogs. Paul comes along and introduces himself to Finn. He says he understands Finn is taking care of Tracy and asks if they can talk. Finn says no.

Julian tells Sonny he knows what he’s doing and to stop.

Morgan says Kiki almost got killed because of him and he’s no good for her. She says that’s insane and maybe he’s where he belongs then.

Ava tells Carly that she’s Avery’s mother and has custody. Carly asks Ava if she doesn’t want Avery to be safe, and Ava says she’s not the monster Carly thinks she is.

Kiki tells Morgan he didn’t shoot her, someone else did. She says she didn’t come all this way to listen to a pity party. She makes him agree that he didn’t pull the trigger and she says she’s going to get pissed if he doesn’t knock it off. She says if they want to blame someone, there’s a whole syndicate they can point fingers at. He asks if they can blame Ava, but Kiki says not this time. She overheard Ava talking and she knows Ava was coerced, but she’s letting her feel guilty anyway.

Ava tells Carly they both love their children, and that overrides everything else. She doesn’t want to get into the whole Avery thing right now.

Julian tells Sonny that he’s taking advantage of the situation Ava is in and manipulating it to keep Avery. Sonny pleads ignorance, but Julian brings up the black rose that was sent to Ava and says he knows it’s Sonny. Sonny says he has more important things to do like look for Carrrlos.

Anna looks at the paper and says she’s glad Griff did this and now they know it’s true. Emma asks what’s true. Anna says he’s not just a friend, but part of the family. Anna says she wants Emma to meet Uncle Duke’s son.

Paul tells Finn he and Tracy share a son. Finn says he’s met him, but he never mentions Paul. Paul asks if he can have an update on Tracy’s condition, and Finn tells him to ask Tracy. Finn leaves and Epiphany tells Paul he’s a great doctor and that’s all he’s getting form her. Paul’s phone rings and he says something about a cancellation and he’s going to Kelly’s.

Sonny tells Julian Carrrlos will be found, and he’s going to flip on Julian about Duke’s death. He says Julian is going to prison for life. Julian says he’s going to ignore Sonny’s accusations and not tell Ava that it was Sonny who sent the rose. He suggests Sonny get out of the business like he did. He leaves and Sonny calls someone to meet him at Kelly’s. He has confirmation that Paul will be there.

Anna explains that she’s not Griff’s mother, but Duke is his father. Emma says her mommy and daddy are doctors too, and suggests they have champagne to celebrate. Anna asks who told her about that. Emma says her grandpa and Anna jokingly says she’s not allowed to have it until she’s 31. Emma suggests hot chocolate instead.

Ava says she’s grateful for what Carly did for Kiki at the pier. Carly says Kiki is special and the family loves her, and so does Morgan. Ava says Kiki needs to focus on her own recovery and she can’t save Morgan, even though they seem to be pressuring her. They agree to hope for the best and find a way to co-exist. Carly says just like Ava and Sonny did with Avery.

Kiki says Morgan is the first man she’s really loved. She says there’s a wonderful person in there. He says the exciting stuff was just the illness. Kiki says it was a distortion, but he’s still the same inside. He talks about the medication and that it’s making him dull. Kiki says the last word anyone would call Sonny is dull and Morgan needs to face the fact that she needs him in her life. Morgan says Carly visited with the girls and he felt nothing, and until she came there, everything was pointless. Kiki asks if that’s how he felt on the roof and was he really going to jump. He says yes, and she tells him she never wants him to feel that way again.

Sonny meets a guy named Brick outside Kelly’s. He tells Brick that Paul is on his way. Brick tells Sonny he’ll go in first and they’ll pretend not to know each other. He tells Sonny to try and separate Paul from his phone.

Emma and Griff talk. He says he never knew his father. Emma asks why she never met him, and Griff says Duke didn’t know about him. She asks why his mom didn’t tell Duke and he says she had her reasons, but he knows they would have been good friends. He asks her to tell him about Duke.

Sonny comes into Kelly’s and tells Anna what’s going on. Paul comes in next. Sonny goes over to talk to Emma. Paul gives a sidelong glance to Anna.

Finn goes back to his room and tells Roxie she’ll have some nice juicy crickets soon. But first he has to give himself a shot. Carly has fresh towels and starts to let herself into his room. Wow. She doesn’t even knock first.

An orderly drops something and makes a loud noise. Kiki freaks out.

Carly goes into Finn’s room and is startled that he’s there. She apologizes and says she was told he wasn’t in. Seriously, should’t she have knocked anyway? He asks if it’s the usual practice for the owner to deliver the towels. She says no, but housekeeping is having a problem with Roxie. He says they do know just because she’s a bearded dragon that she doesn’t really breathe fire. She says some of them.

Ava comes back for Kiki, who is hyperventilating. Morgan gets her to calm down. Morgan tells her not to worry that sometimes he hears the gunshot without any sound. He says as terrible as it was, it’s over with, and to put it behind her. He says if she was going to freak out anywhere, this was probably the place to do it. Ava takes Kiki back to the hospital.

Anna tells Sonny about the DNA results. Emma calls to Griff. Anna tells Sonny she can get Paul to leave his phone on his table and how fast can his guy work. Sonny says pretty fast. Anna goes over to Paul’s table. She tells him she wants him to meet someone. She says she’s in a good mood today and to put his phone down and come with her. She introduces him to Griff. Brick messes with Paul’s phone behind them. Anna tells Paul that Griff is Duke’s son.

Carly says she knows she’s not supposed to ask what the lizard is for, but why a lizard as a service animal? He says sometimes things pick you. He was camping and found her. She was hurt and he fixed her up and released her, but when he came back to the camp, she was in his bag. Carly says it’s sweet — and illegal. Finn says he has no idea what she’s talking about. Carly also brought Roxie a present. She looked up what a bearded dragon likes to eat and she has all kinds of greens for her.

Epiphany is miffed when she sees Ava coming back with Kiki. Kiki tells her not to blame Ava. Epiphany says Kiki is going back to her room, and the doctor is checking her to make sure they haven’t undone any progress.

Julian sees Ava. She asks how the meeting with Hammer went and Julian says the organization isn’t going to bother her. He says Hammer claims they didn’t send her the rose. She wonders who did, but he says it doesn’t matter since it appears she’s safe now. Ava says she wants out of the business and Julian says just steer clear of it like him. Ava doesn’t believe he’s out of it and want s to know what he did to keep her safe.

Paul and the others chitchat. Griff’s phone rings and Paul goes back to his table. He says it’s good to see Ann excited about something. Paul gets a call and says he’ll see Anna back at the office. Griff says he’s being summoned by Epiphany and has to go. Emma asks if he tangos and if he doesn’t know how, she can teach him.

Sonny gets a call. He says mission accomplished and he’ll let Anna know if it worked. He meets Brick outside and says what’s next? Brick says when the DA gets a call from Carrrlos, Sonny will be the first to know.

Paul tells Carrrlos to calm down, and it wasn’t him who told the press. He says Carrrlos needs to stay away from Port Charles now. Sonny is listening in on the call and tells Brick great job.

Emma asks Anna if Griff makes her miss Duke less. Anna says she’ll always miss him, but having Griff there makes it seem like he’s close by.

Julian tells Ava to stop asking questions. She asks if he’s not taking over for her, who is? Julian says it doesn’t matter, she and her children are safe, and to just go live her life.

The orderly apologizes to Morgan for scaring Kiki. Morgan gets his medication. He says he has to get better for her.

Carly promises she’ll find someone to clean his room who isn’t afraid of Roxie. She says she’s heard that it’s the rescuer who often feels rescued. She promises to knock next time. After she’s gone, Finn tells Roxie that was a close one and gives himself his shot.

Tomorrow, Sam asks Jason what if Hayden was the target all along, Kristina talks to Lucas about being attracted to women, and Nicholas screams at Hayden about lying to him all along.

General Hospital — Friday

Dante tells Nathan that he and Lulu are connecting again.

Nina calls Curtis. She asks if he’s found out who’s sabotaging the magazine yet. He says he’s been working on it, and she asks him to come to the office.

Julian is walking outside, talking on the phone about getting his hands dirty, when Alexis comes up behind him. She says she’s been stalking him.

Lucas comes over to Alexis’s house and Kristina says he’s a life saver. He’s looking for Julian, but Kristina wants to talk to him.

Jason is putting together a piece of furniture for Danny’s room, and luckily Sam drops by to help. Apparently, he’s assembly challenged.

Hayden shows up at Nicholas’s hotel room. Or wherever the blip he’s staying.

Maxie wants to brainstorm with Nina. Joe Zee is doing a guest spread in the magazine. She says it’s huge coup for them.

Dante sees Curtis as he’s leaving the gym. He mentions Curtis seeing Valerie. Dante says what a great person she is and Curtis basically tells him to mind his own business. For real.

Sam gets the piece of furniture together in 10 seconds and asks how Jason likes his new place. He talks about someone decorating it for him, except for the pictures.

Kristina tells Nathan that the person she’d been talking about who’s sexually confused is her. She tells him about being attracted to Parker. He asks how she feels about saying it, and Kristina says scared, but relieved. She tells him about talking to Alexis and she doesn’t think Alexis is really okay with it, despite her acting all PC. (That would be politically correct, not Port Charles.)

Alexis tells Julian about Kristina coming out to her.

Nicholas asks why Hayden is there and she says she misses him. He tells her to get out and she says that’s his pride talking. She says she knows he feels betrayed, but she was betrayed by her father. She says the love they felt for each other is real and tells him not to throw it away.

Nathan and Dante spar at the gym. Dante says he’s annoyed that Curtis had a point about him not getting involved in Valerie’s personal life. He says he doesn’t want to see her get hurt, but Nathan says that’s not his call. Dante asks about Claudette.

Nina says she’s beyond honored that Joe is writing a piece for Crimson. Maxie tells him about how Nina turned the green issue around. Nina adds how she turned around the last issue as well. He says they have a creative enemy and wonders what will happen with his issue. Um…have they thought of bringing it to a different printer?

Alexis tells Julian that by the end of the conversation, Kristina practically called her a homophobe.

Kristina tells Lucas about Alexis’s reaction and how she thinks Kristina is just avoiding getting hurt by men. Lucas says she didn’t turn her back on Kristina and a lot of parents react that way at first. Kristina asks why Alexis can’t practice what she preaches and Lucas says she’ll come around in time.

Sam tells Jason about Hayden really being Rachel. Jason wonders why she would have thrown in with Ric if she has money. Sam says she’s the best lead they have for the ELQ case.

Hayden tells Nicholas she wasn’t conning him. Nicholas asks what her agenda was. She says she lost everything when her father went to prison, she ended up in Port Charles by accident, found out about his knowledge of Jason’s identity and tried to blackmail him. Then she got shot in the head for her trouble. She asks if he really thinks she planned all that.

Sam wonders how Hayden and Nicholas got involved. Jason says she knew his secret and came to the garage that day to tell him when she got shot. Sam says what if she was the target all along.

Nicholas says the shooting was an unfortunate accident and Hayden says especially for her. He says someone was trying to kill Jason and he’s sorry she got shot in the crossfire. She says sorry enough to pay her bills and bring her to his home. She says when he was hurt, she was devastated. He says but she was lying to him the whole time.

Alexis tells Julian that the woman Kristina has feelings for is her professor, and she suggested she might be confused. Alexis says Kristina has had some difficult experiences with men. Julian asks if she suggested that’s why Kristina is attracted to women. Alexis says it didn’t come out the way she wanted it to. She says if the professor is harassing Kristina, she has to do something about it.

Nathan tells Dante the situation with Claudette isn’t the same. He thinks Maxie is bothered by it though, no matter what she’s telling him.

Nina says nothing will happen with Joe’s issue. She says they’re going to hunt the saboteur down and kick their ass. Curtis comes in and Nina introduces him as their private investigator. She tells him Mr. Zee is writing something for Crimson, so that have to get a move on. She tells Maxie to take Mr. Zee to discuss concepts.

Maxie tells Joe she didn’t want to discourage him, but he says he likes a challenge. She says she wants to learn from him

Curtis says it’s not a competitor who’s sabotaging them. He says that the other magazine editors seem to think, despite the recent success, that the magazine is going to fold. Nina tells him about how Julian hired her and why it might benefit him if the magazine goes out of business.

Nathan says Maxie claims not to be bothered by his past, but he thinks she is. Dante says if he could go back, he would have told Lulu everything in the beginning.

Sam says they made an assumption when Hayden was shot. Jason says Shawn confessed. Sam suggests there might have been another shooter.

Hayden says Rachel doesn’t exist anymore. She says she’s lied and manipulated, but so has Nicholas. She says he’d been less than truthful, but she was willing to look past that and forgive him, and why can’t he do the same? He brings up the ELQ papers and she says her intention was to help him. Nicholas says even if everything was real, he would be second-guessing everything. He says all the trust they’ve built was destroyed and the marriage is over. I gotta say, he has some nerve after having her shot.

Kristina tells Lucas about getting kicked out of school and telling her parents. She says they were understanding, but if she tells them right now that she’s gay, Sonny’s head is going to explode. Kristina says she’s confused about everything, except her attraction to Parker. Lucas says it might be a one-time crush or something permanent. He tells her to just trust her instincts. She wonders how her parents are going to feel. Julian and Alexis walk in.

While discussing her shoes, Maxie ends up telling Joe about Claudette and how Nathan lied at first, but when he wanted to tell the truth, she told him she didn’t care. Now it’s all she can think about. Joe tells her not to borrow trouble. Claudette is in Nathan’s past, so leave her there. Maxie says if Joe ever gets tired of fashion, he could be a relationship counselor. Nathan comes in. I guess he’s allowed to just walk into a private business meeting.

Jason asks if the second target was Hayden or Rachel. Sam thinks Rachel, but Jason thinks it could be otherwise.

Hayden says a few days ago, they loved each other and now Nicholas wants to pretend it never happened. He thinks they should both cut their losses. She says he just wants to pay her off and have her leave. Nicholas says the prenup is invalid because she didn’t use her real name when they got married. She’s like, nice, he’s going to leave her penniless too. He says she can keep the stuff he bought her (gee, thanks), but she’s not getting a penny more. She says she doesn’t think so.

Maxie introduces Joe who needs to take a call. Nathan asks if Maxie can go for a walk. Joe comes back, saying there’s been a red carpet disaster and one of his clients needs counsel. He says no worries, he’s still doing the spread, and he’s thinking footwear, which excites Maxie. Nina comes in, and Maxie relays what Joe told her. Nathan asks if he can steal Maxie for a walk and Nina says to go and make the world a more romantic place.

Curtis pretends to be a representative for Crimson and calls the printer. He says since the magazine came to them unbound, they shouldn’t have to pay for a printer error. The printer says it wasn’t an error and Curtis asks who gave them instructions for that.

Lucas tells Julian that he and Brad have set a date and they’re getting married in May. Alexis and Julian congratulate him. Lucas has to go back to the hospital and Julian has to get back to the office. Alexis tells Kristina she’s happy for them. Kristina says Alexis doesn’t have a problem with people being gay unless it’s her.

Maxie and Nathan sit in the park, so GH can use the same set that they did with Julian earlier. Nathan says he wants to talk to her about the truth, but Maxie says Claudette is in the past, so they should leave her there. Nathan says he has to tell her because Claudette wasn’t his girlfriend. She was his wife.

Maxie says Nathan never told her he’d been married. He says he knows a lie of omission is still a lie. She says he knows everything about her, including the bad stuff, so why didn’t he tell her. He says it didn’t end well.

Alexis says maybe Brad and Lucas are adults. Kristina gets sarcastic about Alexis looking at her like a child. She says Sonny makes mistakes, but at least he admits it and apologizes, which Alexis never will. Kristina says she gets it. Alexis is right, she’s wrong, message received. She leaves and Alexis calls Parker.

Curtis tells Nina he’s found out who’s behind the sabotage. Nina asks who it is and Julian comes walking out of the elevator.

Jason says Hayden was about to tell him who he was, and Nicholas wouldn’t have wanted that. Sam says yeah, if she was double-crossing him she would have kept his secret. Wow, these two are slow.

Hayden tells Nicholas the prenup doesn’t matter because they’re not getting a divorce. Not with what she knows.

On Monday, Curtis tells Nina who’s undermining Crimson, Franco thinks Kiki should move in with Jason (huh?) and Nathan tells Maxie the truth about his marriage.

The People’s Couch — Quotes of the Week

I like their new ad tagline — Mockery loves company.

Don’t wear your Louis Vuitton’s to shove someone down the stairs. Wear Crocs. — Scott, referring to Empire.

It’s a Vanderpumpvention. Emerson, referring to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

He can’t even walk right.
It’s like dancing with a cardboard cutout of Geraldo Rivera. — Princella and and Scott, respectively, referring to Geraldo Rivera on Dancing with the Stars.

January 15, 2016 — GH, Little & Big Chefs, & a Couch

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

At the hotel, Elizabeth asks Jason if there’s been any news. He says the police haven’t made any discoveries yet. Elizabeth says she doesn’t want to stay in the hotel any longer.

Tracy is on an island somewhere getting a massage. I wish I was there too.

Nicholas is back home and Hayden is fussing over him. Nicholas says they seem to be working things to their advantage. He tells her about the deal he proposed to Jason and that Jason didn’t take him up on it.

Sam shows up at a hotel room. A large, bald man answers the door. He tells her she must have the wrong room. She asks if he’s a Dr. Sheinberg and says he’s her only hope. Because he’s secretly Obi Wan Kenobi.

Dillon asks for Valerie at the station since they’re supposed to meet there and go out to dinner. The desk cop says she’s not there. Dillon hears him say something about Johnny being on the loose and mentions that Maxie saw him today.

Lulu answers the door to Laura. Laura says she saw Johnny is back in town and Lulu says she’s shocked.

Valerie calls for help, but Johnny says don’t bother.

Jason suggests that Cameron come and stay with them. Elizabeth says having the whole family together will confuse Jake even more. Jason says it doesn’t make sense for her to go back before the case is wrapped up. Jake pops in and is thrilled “daddy is home.”

Dante runs into Dillon and asks what’s going on.

Lulu tells Laura that Dante told her about Johnny and that Johnny had contacted Maxie. Laura says Luke’s daughter should be a better liar and asks if she was hiding Johnny on The Haunted Star.

Johnny ties Valerie up inside a ranger cabin. Valerie asks why Johnny is doing this. He says she should be asking what she can do to get out of it. She thinks it has something to do with Luke, but Johnny tells her to keep her mouth shut and let him think. He’s actually a little scary here, but I don’t like Valerie, so I’m okay with it.

Nicholas wonders why Jason would risk prison and being separated from his sons for ELQ. Hayden says her statement had some inconsistencies and asks if Nicholas thinks their case is iron-clad. He says considering Jason’s background, it shouldn’t be a problem,

Sam says she knows Dr. Sheinberg is meeting someone other than his wife at the hotel. He thinks she’s there to shake him down, but she says he was there the night of the fight and she wants her suspicions confirmed. He says they were at the window checking out the view. He keeps talking about the dark haired man, meaning Nicholas, and the light haired man, meaning Jason, but don’t they have pretty much the same hair color? He says the dark haired man threw the first punch and was the aggressor, and that the dark haired man’s momentum carried him over the balcony. Sam asks if he’ll tell the police. He says he can’t do that. She says then they’ll hear it from the recording she just made.

Elizabeth says the longer they stay, Jake is going to think they’re getting back together. She says being there with Jason is difficult for her as well. She say the nicer he is, the more she regrets what she did and the love they shared doesn’t just go away. Please, Jason, do not fall for this.

Johnny freaks a little when he hears a siren in the distance, but it passes. Valerie says the next one will be for them. Johnny says no one will be around at least until morning. Valerie tells him sooner or later someone is going to find them and Johnny should turn himself in. Johnny says she’s more trouble than he expected, but he has a solution. I don’t think it’s a good one for her, since he used the word “unfortunately.”

Tracy says she can’t relax. The masseuse asks if there’s anything he can do to help. Is he hitting on her?

Nicholas says because of the fall, he sees how much Hayden cares for him and she has a loving, generous heart. The phone rings and Hayden answers. It’s Tracy, telling her it’s the voice of doom calling. Tracy says she probably prefers Hayden to Rachel, and calls her Rachel throughout the rest of the conversation. She asks how Nicholas is doing. Nicholas asks who’s on the phone and Hayden tells him it’s a medical follow-up. He says he’ll handle it.

Johnny sees the text from Lulu and Valerie asks who he’s calling.

Lulu tells Laura that she hasn’t seen Johnny and doesn’t know where he is. Laura asks who she was in the stateroom with. Lulu says she was by herself and when Laura came she was cleaning up. Laura says she’d buy that if Lulu hadn’t tried to keep her away from a duffel bag that was there. The phone rings and Laura asks if it’s Johnny.

Johnny whispers into the phone not to call him back, but bring the bag with his money in it.

Dante and Nathan say Dillon is being “weird” about Johnny. Dillon says okay, he does have something to tell them, but he wants to do it privately and they’re not going to like it.

Dr. Sheinberg is all how dare you and says Sam can’t use the recording. Sam says au contraire, in the state of New York, she can. She says it would be better though if he would back it up. Dr Sheinberg says he’ll say he was lying. His girlfriend walks in.

Dillon says anything he tells them is off the record. He says he wants anyone who was helping Johnny to have immunity. Dante says no way, and Dillon says good-by then. Dante says he’ll charge him with aiding and abetting, and Dillon says fine, his lawyer is the DA.

Laura wants Lulu to show her the phone. She says she’s working too hard to be evasive and no one shows that much righteous indignation who’s an innocent. Lulu says okay, it was Johnny, but he’s gone and it’s over with. Laura asks why she would do this. Lulu says if it wasn’t for Valerie, she wouldn’t have.

Valerie says she had dinner plans, so they’ll be looking for her. Johnny tells her to shut up and wonders where his bag is.

Jason asks when Jake’s appointment with the therapist is and says they should stay in the hotel at least until then. Jake pops in again, asking about the ice cream Jason promised him. Elizabeth tells them to go, even though it’s late, because how know where they’ll be tomorrow. Please, stop with the dramatics.

Dr. Sheinberg  tells his girlfriend, Veronica, it’s nothing and says don’t talk because Sam will record it. Sam tells them Jason is innocent and will go to prison if they don’t tell what they saw. Dr Sheinberg says it will cost them dearly and there must be some other way. Sam says there isn’t and tells them the backstory. Dr Sheinberg asks how fair is it for them to screw themselves to help her. She says it isn’t fair, but she’s asking them to do the right thing.

Hayden says she’ll handle the call. Tracy says she’d better get it together by the time Tracy gets home or she’ll spill the Rachel beans.

Nicholas tells Hayden he needs her and asks if his vulnerability is sexy. They start to kiss.

Veronica says she’ll support whatever the doctor wants to do, but adds he knows what they should do. He says he doesn’t want to lose her, and that maybe it’s time to go public. He says that if a man’s freedom is at stake, they should help him.  Sam shows them a bunch of paperwork, and it turns out the doctor is the one who ran the DNA test for Carly.

Jake asks if they can go out for ice cream every night. Jason says they’ll be doing lots of things for a very long time.

Dillon says he saw Johnny weeks ago before Christmas on The Haunted Star. He says Lulu said it was just for one night, but Dante puts two and two together and realizes that Johnny was hanging around longer than that. Dillon says Lulu told him there was nothing going on.

Laura says she knows how much Lulu has been hurt, but how is Valerie responsible for anything with Johnny? Lulu starts to say if it wasn’t for Valerie, she wouldn’t have…and stops.

Johnny puts a gag in Valerie’s mouth since she won’t shut up. He says he’s leaving and she freaks.

Hayden and Nicholas are going at it. For someone who was in a lot of pain a few minutes ago, he seems to be doing pretty well.

Tracy is back to her massage and feels more relaxed after the phone call.

Dr. Sheinberg and Veronica see Jason at the MetroCourt and the doctor tells him they’re going to the authorities tomorrow to clear his name. Veronica tells Jason not to thank them, but to thank his wife. Dr Sheinberg says he’s a lucky man.

Sam knocks on the door to Jason’s suite and Elizabeth answers. I’d love to wipe the stupid smirk off her face.

The desk cop shows Dante pictures of Valerie taking money from Johnny and also of them in a car together.

Johnny says it’s bad business to leave witnesses. He says luckily there’s gasoline so he can make a clean getaway. Valerie totally freaks.

Lulu says if she and Dante were together, she never would have considered helping Johnny, so it’s all Valerie’s fault. Laura says that’s a bit of a stretch and I have to agree. Laura goes to tend to Rocco, and Lulu gets the message about Johnny’s bag.

Valerie tries desperately to get out of Johnny’s Boy Scout knots and knocks over a candle.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth gives Sam the wrong impression and it looks like Lulu might be the one to save Valerie.

MasterChef Junior

Down to six. The kids have to cater a lunch at Gordon’s place for culinary world luminaries. Whatever that means to you. They’ll be working in two teams of three each. My girl, Addy, is one of the team captains.

Of course Gordon has a fabulous property, but the best thing about it is his little French bulldog, King George. Gordon gets a headache pretty early on. These kids crack me up though. So sophisticated one minute, and the next, claiming they don’t know what to do because they’re only in elementary school. When I was in elementary school, I was lucky I could make peanut butter on toast.

This is great! I finally know how you say gnocchi.

Holy! One of the kids spills a hot pan full of venison and butter onto Gordon’s leg and into his shoe. He handles it a million times better than I would. I didn’t hear one bleep.

The red team wins and Addy is the only one from the blue team who is safe. My money is totally on her. The two going home take it extremely well and they have a lot to be proud of. One is twelve and one is eight, and they’re cooking 3 Michelin star meals. I can’t even imagine how much they’ll accomplish by the time they’re grown-ups.

Hell’s Kitchen

I always love how they do the opening titles. This season, the chefs are trekking through snowy mountains. The show itself is stationed in Las Vegas this time around.

With way too many contestants and it being too early to care about any of them, the first challenge is making a signature dish. There’s an audience, which is weird and I’m not so sure I like it. We learn a little about the contestants as Gordon tastes the dishes. Nope. Don’t like the audience. Whether it’s enhanced or natural, their reactions to Gordon’s critiques are too loud. He gives each dish 1-5 points.

The men get slightly more points, so they get to have fun, while the women get to peel 50 pounds of shrimp and 1000 pounds of potatoes for a buffet. Woohoo. Welcome to Vegas.

During the first Hell’s Kitchen dinner presentation, some chick named Vanessa is wigging out. She says she’s on the app station where most people die. I’m not sure if she means die as in fail, or a lot of accidents happen there. She can’t seem to make the pizza appetizer without burning it. My first job was making pizzas, so this is something I can actually do. It’s probably the first time I’m saying that in the history of my watching chef competitions. The men can’t cook a pizza either, so I’m extra stoked.

Uh-oh. Risotto is involved. That never goes well. You can tell who’s going to be leaving quickly by the way they react to the first scolding from Gordon.

The men’s blue team totally screws up and Gordon kicks their sorry asses out of the kitchen completely. I guess that means they lost this round. Deer-caught-in-the-headlights guy goes home.

Next week, the chefs drink too much and are hung over. There are also Sumo wrestlers.

The People’s Couch

I don’t really recap this, but it’s one of my favorite shows. This season they’ve added The Haves and the Have Nots to the mix, and I’m excited about that. I’m really glad this show has done well. What makes it so much fun is that they’re having fun.

I can’t say I ever thought I’d be watching a show about watching people watching TV.

It also gives me the quotes of the week:

Oh my God, I wanna drive through a house. Julie referring to a scene in The Haves and the Have Nots.

There’s always one drunk on every show. Teddi while watching The Bachelor.

November 10, 2015 — The Real Jason Morgan, a Yacht Hook Up, & Some Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

We start where we left off with Ava insulting Sonny. He says he can still load a gun, and could blast her with so many bullets, they wouldn’t recognize the body. Carly and the guys tell him to knock it off.

Sam asks Patrick if he thinks the DNA test is legit and he says it looks that way.

I hope Jason slaps Elizabeth off that bridge. She admits she didn’t want him to know who he was, but doesn’t exactly say she knew who he was. He says it’s not like she was keeping anything from him, so there’s nothing to forgive. You know this is going to come out eventually, and I can’t wait. I hope he gets seriously pissed off at her.

Carly tells Ava to back off. How can she even still want to be with Sonny after what he just said? Kiki, Scotty and Ric come in and Ava tells Kiki to tell them what she saw. Kiki says she saw nothing, but I have the feeling that there’s a tape recorder in Ava’s purse. She got awfully close to Sonny when she baited him. Carly tells them about the car accident. Hello, Kiki, are you listening?

Jason tells Elizabeth he’s sorry things turned out the way they did, but he still loves her. She says let’s get married like we were going to. Um…he’s already married. I think you have to take care of that first.

Sam tells Patrick that she’s reliving every interaction she had with Jason. She asks Patrick if Jason will start to remember, and he says most amnesiacs would have remembered by now. I feel badly for Sam, since she must be feeling pretty confused. Patrick says they’ll figure it out about her marriage to Jason.

Hayden says she noticed Nicholas didn’t react when Jason made his announcement, and it’s because he and Elizabeth already had their freak out when they first found out about him months ago. Nicholas says apparently Hayden regained her memory. I really love Rebecca Buddig in this role. I liked her on All My Children, but Greenlee was a little sappy for me.

Hayden says she was confused when she first woke up, but the familiar surroundings at Windermere brought the rest back. He asks why she was pretending when she could have taken advantage of him. She says she thought twice after the first time when she got a bullet in her head for her trouble, and she’s also really interested in him.

Kiki is looking at everyone with a face like something out of a horror film. Was she drunk when she put on her makeup? That’s not a smoky eye, that’s a raccoon eye. Ric goes off on Carly about not showing up on time. She wants to tell Sonny that Jason is alive, but the court is reconvening and he’s like, later.

Sam says Patrick is talking about her marriage like it’s just a piece of paper, when it’s more complicated than that. And thank you, Sam, for pointing out that he did the same thing to Sabrrrina. Idiot.

Elizabeth is pushing Jason to get married by the Justice of the Peace immediately. He says his feelings for her haven’t changed, but he’s legally married to Sam and they have a son. Elizabeth says she wouldn’t expect him to turn his back on them. He says his DNA might be Jason’s, but not his memories. He said he heard so many stories about how much Jason meant to people, but there was a lot he didn’t like. He says he can’t marry Elizabeth because he doesn’t want to give her a name he’s not sure he wants himself. I seriously wish he’d get a clue. Elizabeth sure seems anxious to get on with the marriage and if she really loved him, you’d think she’d give him a minute to breathe.

Nicholas says Hayden’s been playing him and for all he knows, she still is. She asks if that makes him extra hot and I laugh. She tells him she (ugh!) “has feelings for him” and she believes he has the same feelings. Now I will have an earworm of Feelings for the rest of the day. You’re welcome.

Sam goes over various people’s reactions to Jason, like Spinelli and Carly. Patrick continues to act selfishly and tries to talk her out of feeling any way except uncertain. He’s actually starting to stammer because he knows he’s not getting anywhere. Sam says she doesn’t want to hurt Patrick, and he says he doesn’t want her to make the same mistake he did.  “Don’t buy into the future of someone based on a memory,” he tells her. Geez, no one wants to give anyone a minute here.

Jason says he has enemies who will most likely be after him once they know he’s alive, and he doesn’t want to put Elizabeth and the kids in danger. She tries her best to backtrack, saying that she must have known inside who he really was.  Nice try.

The judge asks if Scotty has any character witnesses for Ava. He says Sonny would be their best bet. RIc is like, huh? and Scotty brings out the recording. Ric tries to say something about Sonny not knowing he was being recorded, but Scotty counters with it being a one-party state. The judge okays the recording to be played. Sonny either wants to disappear or kill Ava or both. It’s not looking good for him. I wasn’t on his side to begin with, but if he can’t even control himself that much, maybe he really isn’t the best custodial parent.

Hayden asks what Nicholas wants to do. She tells him that his life is more interesting with her around. That’s for sure. He blended into the wallpaper before she came along.

I want to smack Patrick. He goes on about how Jason loves Elizabeth now and makes up all kinds of crap. Sam wisely says no one really knows what’s going to happen now. Patrick tries to compare the whole thing with his Robin experience, but she says it’s not the same. He asks if she stopped loving him when she found out Jason was alive. She says no, but she doesn’t know what to do yet. He says let’s go home and deal with it tomorrow. Tomorrow is now vying with Feelings for the earworm of the day.

Jason tells Elizabeth that he’s not going anywhere, but he needs to figure out what it is to be Jason Morgan.

Everyone tries to tell the judge that Ava baited Sonny, because in Port Charles you’re allowed to shout out in court. The judge says Sonny’s statements are disconcerting, and also, since he said them in a court, Ava could file charges. Scotty says the judge will sign Ava’s death warrant if she doesn’t have custody. The judge says a lot of blah-blah-blah about Sonny being an idiot and awards custody to Ava, giving Sonny supervised visits if the caseworker okays it. She says Sonny had better learn how to play well with others. Ava tells Sonny that she doesn’t want Avery not to know her father, but he needs to get with the anger management program.

At home, while Sam muses over her engagement ring, Patrick stupidly asks what she’s thinking about. She says she doesn’t know how to explain things to Danny when she doesn’t understand them herself.

Elizabeth tells Jason that the kids (who were out for ice cream when he came back with Carly) are confused and don’t understand why they didn’t get married. He says they’ll talk to the kids in the morning and she asks what they’re going to say. Jason says “the truth,” and Elizabeth asks what that word means, since she has no concept of it. She wants to go up to bed, but he says he needs a minute. I think he actually needs like a year.

Sonny acts like a big a-hole, saying Carly wasn’t there for him. Yeah, how much time did she even take? She was in a car accident, you freaking moron. She wants to tell him about Jason, but he goes la-la-la and covers his ears. For once I give Michael some credit, because he sticks around to listen. She tells him that Jason is alive. And his eyes go all crazy.

Nicholas wants to go upstairs now, but Hayden wants to do it right this time and take it slow. He says he’ll see her at breakfast. She makes a phone call (when she’s right outside the door), saying she needs to talk, but it has to be in person.

Carly calls Jason and gets voice mail. She says she was late getting to the courthouse, Sonny’s in a bad place and wouldn’t listen, and she thinks they should tell him together.

Sam shows up at Elizabeth’s house on Jason’s motorcycle. She gives him the keys and says he can ride it over to see Danny any time he wants. We end with Elizabeth looking out the window all sad. What a tangled web we weave, eh?

Below Deck

Again, so glad Chef Ben is back!

Rocky and Emile go for a walk. (Sounds like a children’s book.) She tells Emile about hooking up with Eddie. In his individual interview he asks if he was supposed to “high five” her and I laugh. Rocky tells Emile that she really liked Eddie (thank you for not saying you “have feelings for” him) and she doesn’t hook up just to hook up. Emile says he had no idea and she says she has evidence on her phone. Think any good is going to come from this conversation? Me neither.

Ben and Kate are flirting like crazy.

Now Emile is pissy about taking orders from Eddie. No surprise since he’s 12 and not grounded in reality.

The primary guest is a 29-year-old self made millionaire. Captain Lee says those words scare the hell out of him. It’s the last charter, which bums me out because I want this show on all year.

Rocky asks Eddie if he’s excited to get off the boat and back to real life. Eddie disappoints me when he talks about how Rocky knew he had a girlfriend and she seduced him, absolving himself. While I can see how he made the mistake in the first place, he lost points with that remark.

Emile says he wonders how Eddie would take a few punches. Because he’s 5. Now he has a crummy attitude all over the place. Connie says something about that she could see why Rocky dumped him and he calls Connie a whore. What? He’ll be lucky if she doesn’t throw a few punches. And she could probably knock him out.

Amy tells Rocky that working on a yacht is hard and she has to find a way to control herself. Rocky starts crying and Amy says she feels badly for her. Not me. She’s as crazy as a loon. Eddie shouldn’t have gone near her in the first place, but she deserved what she got.

The guests arrive. These are the hot girlfriends? Ben concurs, but I don’t.

It’s time to go on the jet skis. The guests are from Chicago (which Ben says is the Mecca of steakhouses), and the primary says he wants to be blown away by Ben’s version of steak and potatoes.

Ben talks to Kate about Rocky. He says she seems like she’s dragging around and maybe they should give her a break. Kate says he hasn’t been there the whole season, and she and Amy have had to do most of her work. Kate doesn’t think the lack of work ethic should be rewarded, but says if Ben wants to do something for her, fine. Ben says Kate is being a mean bitch, but Kate says Rocky is a spoiled brat and I agree.

Eddie finds out that Rocky is following his girlfriend on Instagram. Ok, now she’s not just a spoiled brat, she’s creepy. Eddie is freaked and I don’t blame him.

I’m not a huge steak eater, but this cut of meat looks fantastic. Ben says the fun thing about cooking on a yacht is that you have unlimited means, and it’s a shame Chef Ben was repetitive. The guests say it’s the best rib eye they’ve ever had. Amy says Vito (the primary) has the money to show his guests a good time, but lacks the game to help them enjoy it. One of the girls calls him a d-bag and decides to remove herself form the table. He guests leave Vito and his girlfriend (?) at the table. Oh, I take that back, it sounds like they haven’t slept together and he was hoping to score on this trip. Not happening.

Rocky acts like an utter idiot, telling Emile she’s going crazy, crying, and generally acting like Eddie was the love of her life. There is really something wrong with this girl. Emile, in his immaturity, says Rocky needs someone to speak up for her and the truth will come out. This means he’s probably going to be the one to help that along.

Amy gives Connie props for actually doing her job. Eddie has said she’s the only deckhand he can trust. I like Connie. She’s a work hard/play hard kind of girl.

The guests are down for breakfast. Connie and Eddie are in the wheelhouse, and Emile comes by to apologize to Connie. She tells them what he’d said to her, and Captain Lee wonders what’s wrong with people. I’ve been asking that for years. The guests are being demanding, and Chef Ben is getting cranky. Vito Is hung over and excuses himself 10 seconds after he sits down. I’ll be damned if I ever pay 10s of 1000s of dollars for a vacation and spend it in the toilet.

Emile sees that the little boat that they take on excursions is almost banging into the yacht and tries to fix that by falling into the water between the two. He claims he doesn’t want to get involved with the Rocky/Eddie thing. Then why is he? I do really know why he is. He thinks he’s going to be Rocky’s knight in shining armor and she’s going to give him nookie. I hate to tell him this, but that’s not what’s going to happen. But he’s 10, so there’s no talking to him.

The guests are unhappy with breakfast, although they’re being really good about it, and just order different food. Kate has to tell Ben that the eggs were runny and the sausage was overcooked. This is not a messenger job anyone wants with any chef.

Commercial break. Apparently, The Hunger Games has hooked up with Chrysler. Did the author of the books okay that? If so, I just lost respect for them.

Amy says the secret ingredient to any bad breakfast is Mimosas. I add it’s also the secret ingredient to any bad lunch, dinner, or snack. Ben is going out of his way to make a phenomenal seafood dish to make up for the crappy eggs and sausage. I’m in. The guests are happy and all is forgiven. They’re actually pretty easy-going though.

The guests are going on a beach picnic. Captain Lee says they have a good attitude on the boat right now, so it should be fine. Little does he know. Vito is napping again. I guess he’s spending the whole charter snoozing. Rocky is staying behind and Emile offers to stand up for her and do pretty much anything she tells him to.

The guests are impressed with the picnic setup. Rocky decides to put on her mermaid tail and swim over. She says water calms her down. Judging by my neighborhood, it calms a lot of crazy people down. She flounders (no pun intended) around on the beach in front of the guests. Kate says that whenever anything with fins and a tail washes up in front of you, it ruins the picnic because it’s sad an awkward. Or something like that.

That brainless twit! Rocky is telling Amy about her and Eddie. She’s also making it sound like this was going on the entire season, and it wasn’t. She’s acting like she’s in middle school, which is why I don’t understand why she’s not into Emile. Amy says she has to sit down. She asks if Eddie broke up with his girlfriend, and Rocky acts clueless. Now she’s giving details that I don’t want to know and I can’t imagine that Amy does. Rocky says Eddie is acting like an asshat now. Emile comes in and says he wants  to talk to Eddie. Rocky is all like, what have I done? What did that moron think was going to happen when she told him? Her own immature idiocy must have recognized his.

Next week, the finale. And Eddie denies the hooking up.

The People’s Couch – Quotes of the Week

Because I can never pick just one.

Don’t you think he’s missing a few sandwiches? Blake; No. I just don’t think they’re fancy sandwiches. Emerson, referring to a character on Ash Vs. the Evil Dead

There was a time when I was definitely naked and afraid, and it was on our wedding night. Andrew, while watching Naked and Afraid

The funniest moment, however, was when one of the dogs snatched a potato chip from Julie and she snatched it back. I can identify.

October 27, 2015 — Port Charles Pre-Halloween, Yachting, Loving & Couch Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

It’s almost Halloween in Port Charles. Emma is trying on various costumes for Anna, and comes downstairs dressed as “Joy.” The doorbell rings and it’s Death, I mean Paul scaring the crap out of Emma.

Hayden and Nicholas are now living at The Floating Rib. Sam walks in and Nicholas asks why he shouldn’t have her arrested for breaking into his house and hacking into his computer. He makes a good point, except that his own unlawful doings might be exposed.

Alexis is teaching Julian how to change a diaper. Um, if he doesn’t know by now, he probably doesn’t want to know. Olivia asks Dante and Lulu to keep an eye on baby Leo. She wants them to be his godparents.

Maxie has done well with fundraising for Dillon’s movie. She has a large check, but tells Dillon he’s not going to get it unless he tells her his secret. Loose lips will sink Dante yet. She says she’ll tear the check up if he doesn’t spill it. He calls her bluff, but says he’ll tell her after he shows her something.

Sam suggests they call it a draw, since Nicholas invaded “Jake’s” privacy. She tells Nicholas that he got his wish, that “Jake” is so discouraged at this point, he’s going to stop seeking his true identity and marr Elizabeth.

Paul apologizes for scaring Emma and offers her a lollypop. (Geez, I think a Snickers bar might be more appropriate here.)Emma says she’s not supposed to take candy from strangers and Anna says he just seems strange. Ha-ha! Emma goes back upstairs and Paul tells Anna he’s there to discuss Carrrlos.

Sabrrrina tells Michael that they’re not strong enough as a couple yet, that it’s too soon to get married. She doesn’t want to get married just because she’s pregnant, and says that’s not a good enough reason to spend the rest of their lives together. He says he eventually was going to ask her anyway. She says that even love isn’t enough and suggests they wait until they see how they handle the pressures of having the baby first. Tracy and Monica come in arguing about Danny having played hide-and-seek in Tracy’s closet.

I think Dillon might really tell Maxie. When she asks if he actually has anything on Dante, he tells her yes. She’s surprised, since she was just “fishing.”

Paul says that Anna seems oddly interested in Carrrlos’s corpse. She says it’s because he killed Duke and she wants to know more about how he died. Which makes perfect sense…not.

Nicholas tells Hayden that he knows Sam and she was telling the truth. While at the same time Sam gets a text from Spinelli. Hayden hints around for an invite as Nicholas’s plus one to the wedding. (Lots of fishing in this episode.) She says if he brings her, they will be “official” as boyfriend/girlfriend.

Sam and Lucas check out the new house Julian had built for Alexis. Julian tells them that he and Olivia will be sharing custody of Leo.

Anna gives Paul a song and dance that I’ll bet even she doesn’t believe. Emma comes down in a “Princess Evie” costume. When she tells Paul that Evie is evil, Paul asks why. Emma says that she really isn’t but she thinks with her heart, not her head. Paul is like, I know someone else like that, while shooting eyeball darts at Anna.

Dillon shows Maxie her performance, but she gets so worried about what her hair looks like, she forgets all about the secret. Too late. Dante and Lulu show up at The Haunted Star to do some Halloween decorating.

Monica didn’t know about Sabrrrina’s pregnancy, and is disappointed that Tracy knew before she did. Sabrrrina tells her that she didn’t tell Tracy, Tracy just figured it out and knew even before Michael. Tracy says Michael didn’t notice because he was too much all up in Sonny’s business.

Emma goes upstairs to change once more. Paul tells Anna that she’s no longer authorized to dig into police business, and unless she tells him what she was really up to, he’ll press charges. Anna tells him she’s suspicious that the body wasn’t Carrrlos.

Nicholas tells Hayden that it should be obvious that he has feelings for her. She says prove it and take her to the wedding. She says she wants to feel like a part of things and have fun again. Nicholas caves and says he’ll bring her. I’m starting to wonder now if it will be Hayden that blows things up.

Olivia shows up at Julian and Alexis’s place and apologizes to Lucas and Sam for lying about baby Leo. It doesn’t look like Lucas is accepting that, even though he says he is.

Anna tells Paul her instincts tell her that it isn’t Carrrlos’s body, that someone made it seem that way. She thinks it’s some kind of cover-up. Paul says that Anna ought to know all about it.

Tracy thinks that Carly is the reason Michael and Sabrrrina aren’t getting married. Sabrrrina says no, she was the one. Tracy says it’s because Michael is involved in the coffee importation business. Michael and Sabrrrina step outside and Tracy and Monica pretend to argue. Tracy looks like she’s going to start laughing any second.

Dillon is on his laptop when Dante walks in and acts like the a-hole he is because he sees a freeze frame of Lulu. Dillon says she walked into a shot, but if he was smart, he would have added that he was trying to figure out how to edit it out. He says he might not keep his word to not say anything about Dante and Valerie.

Paul says Emma has come down in the best costume yet, and she says these are her regular clothes. He does some cute bantering with her and says he’ll be in touch with Anna.

Monica and Tracy have a drink and share some Quartermaine memories.

Sam gets another text from Spinelli saying they’re a step closer to “Jake’s” real ID.

Hayden says who knows, that her memory might come back at the ceremony, which is probably not a good thing to say if she really wants to go.

Dillon tells Dante it’s over for him, and then tells Lulu he has to tell her something. Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

Below Deck

When we last left our yachtees, there was a fire in the galley. Eddie puts on his super hero cape and gets it contained. Since she’s prone to insanity and hating Kate, Rocky stupidly says that it’s Kate’s fault because she put a pizza in the oven when there were other pans in there. That would be a no. Kate says that if the oven is like the rest of the galley, it was probably the grease. Eww! That makes me think of Kitchen Nightmares and how disgusting some of the kitchens can be. I wouldn’t expect it on this yacht. On second thought, it’s lazy Leon, king of getting over. Captain Lee says a fire on a small boat like this can turn into some really bad news. He says they’ll deal with the incident report in the morning.

The next morning, Leon completely ignores the fact that there was a fire In his galley and that he slept through the fire alarm. No surprise, since he ignores everything else. Rocky tells him about what happened with the pizza. Leon says that Kate is waiting for him to fall on his face. Gee, maybe she wants you to actually give a flying about your job.

The primary guest, Alan, is having a 50th birthday party. Another shark dive has also been scheduled for them. Connie has to pull up the anchor because Eddie worked the night shift, and we already know this can be a problematic chore. Success! While I don’t always like her personality, I love Connie’s work ethic and how she can be one of the guys. I grew up riding on a truck with Teamsters, so I can identify.

Champagne for breakfast sounds good to me. Captain Lee says they’re going to make Alan’s birthday memorable. The ladies are going somewhere for drinks while the guys go on the dive. That would be a tough choice, but I think I’d go on the dive.

Captain Lee calls Kate to the bridge. Since the oven looks like it hasn’t been cleaned the entire season, it’s no surprise it caught fire. I don’t think the other pans that were in there did it, but I’m sure that Leon will blame Kate. I’m also pretty sure this will backfire on him.

Captain Lee takes individual statements because he says if everyone is there at once, it will be a clusterf**k. Rocky tries to blame Kate, adding a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with the fire. Captain Lee says he could give two sh*ts about what she thinks of her superior and just wants to get the reports. His deduction is that the filthy oven was the culprit.

Leon is the last to be interviewed. He tries to blame Kate, but Captain Lee says that clean, dry pans don’t start fires. Leon says Kate was drinking, but has to admit he didn’t see her drinking that night, so it basically has nothing to do with anything. The captain says that Leon is more interested in blaming Kate than he is that there was a fire in his galley. Captain Lee says he asked Leon to get with the program weeks ago, but he’s not doing it. Leon says whatever the captain says, he’ll agree with, and the captain says they should agree that this is Leon’s last charter, but he would appreciate him going out In a blaze of glory (no pun intended). The captain says to Eddie that with Leon, everything is someone else’s fault.

Leon tells Rocky that he’s been asked to leave. Rocky says if he goes, she’s going to. Bye, Felicia.

Instead of acting like an adult and finishing out the day, Leon leaves everyone hanging. Congrats on being an even bigger a-hole than Dane was. Rocky whines to Eddie that she has no respect for Kate or the captain. Amy suggests she have respect for herself and act like an adult. Rocky stamps her foot and says Kate should be the one to leave. Eddie tells her both Kate and Leon were at fault with being rude to one another, but at least Kate knows her job. Rocky is like, how dare he after I slept with him. This actually gives me more respect for Eddie, putting the truth above nookie, but Rocky acts like the immature idiot she is, and dives into the water. Captain Lee is pretty disgusted at this point. Me too. It’s more like a kindergarten class than a yacht charter. That girl better find a rich man to marry because she’s never going to be able to hold a job.

The charter guests are coming back, and Amy gets on the intercom and tells everyone to buckle their seatbelts and prepare for a sh*tstorm. Ha-ha! Captain Lee wants to buy the guests lunch for Alan’s birthday. Way to get them away from that storm. Amy is going to accompany the guests, while Captain Lee figures out what the blip to do without a chef. Eddie says who the blip does Rocky think she is and he’s pretty bothered by the whole thing.

Amy makes noises about standing up for what she believes, which is being a lazy moron. She whines on the phone to her mommy. Mommy tells her she needs to finish what she started. Frankly, I think they should kick her ass back into the water and let her swim home.

Rocky approaches the captain to apologize. Captain Lee says he’s not big on apologies because they’re more for the person doing the apology. Thank you. He says she’s walking on thin ice and she says she doesn’t want to leave everyone hanging and that she’s the only one who can get this birthday dinner off the ground. Really? She made raw chicken the other week. I wouldn’t trust her to make microwave popcorn. How old is this chick? Five?

Alan has never had a birthday cake, so Kate calls around looking for a lava cake. And also looking for a fireworks display. Just keep opening those champagne bottles and everything will be okay. Rocky offers to help with the dinner. Eddie says after the last time, he’s going to have to keep an eye on her cooking. Rocky wants to put crumbled cookies on the salad and I’m like, please don’t. I don’t even like fruit in my salad. Unless it’s a fruit salad. This even looks stupid. I hope all future employers are watching this, so they don’t take any chances i\on hiring her for anything.

She also puts grenadine on the oysters, and Amy hopes the guests are too drunk to notice. Alan throws up in the bathroom. So far this dinner is going just great. Eddie takes over in the galley. Aww, poor Rocky is hurt. Who the blip cares? OMG, this girl is such a loser, I can’t stand it. Eddie concurs and says he’s sorry he ever went near her.

Rocky acts like she’s been disrespected because Kate says she should put the steak on the plate with the vegetables and didn’t tell her this at 10 that morning. The cake arrives and it got squashed on one side. Everything is a freaking disaster, but these guys are so good at their jobs, the guests have no clue. They’re loving the meal, and when the cake comes, Alan says it’s the best 50th anyone could ever have.

At least the fireworks go off without a hitch, and it’s finally time for the guests to debark. It’s 10:30 pm and Kate says she hopes to never have another late departure. Alan and the other guests tell the crew that everything was more than fabulous. We’re on to my favorite part – the tip.

Rocky pats herself on the back. Kate says that Rocky is a ticking time bomb that she has to compliment all the time, but even that doesn’t work. Rocky acts ridiculous, sarcastically saying how awesome Kate is. I just can’t even comprehend acting like this at any job and thinking it’s okay. Kate says ain’t nobody got time for Rocky and her many personalities. Seriously, there is something wrong with her.

Amy says she doesn’t know what to say to Rocky, and that she owes them all an apology, but Rocky doesn’t understand why she should apologize. Eddie is embarrassed about hooking up with her now and wants to distance himself. Come on, Eddie. Anyone with half a brain would have told you to stay away from her, no matter how good her ass looks.

Tip time! Captain Lee says this was the worst charter he’s ever been on, but the guests were happy. Eddie says Rocky should have gotten down on her hands and knees and apologized.  $1950 each!

It looks like Chef Ben is going to step in for Idiot Leon and I’m psyched! I really missed him this season. He says he wasn’t available at the beginning of the season, but he’s glad to be back. He also says that often chefs don’t work out and he’s pinch hit before. Kate and Ben didn’t always get along, but their problem is they’re too much alike. Ben is crazier too, but in a good way.

A fresh vibe comes to the boat with Ben’s arrival. Leon was fun to hate, but I was feeling pretty badly for the crew having to deal with him. He’s the kind of guy you like to watch, but you don’t want to bring him home to your mother.

Ricky whines about Leon leaving – he was her best friend, she says. She also whines about Eddie saying he’s glad Ben is back and putting Leon down. Eddie says he’s embarrassed again. Kate and Ben flirt.

Next week, Cynthia from The Real Housewives of Atlanta is the primary guest. And Rocky gets put in her place by Ben.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Kelly bangs (probably the wrong word to use) on the shed door and tells Marcie and Brad to get out now. She tells them she’s completely disgusted by the both of them. Not only that, Brad left his kids alone to go off to his rendezvous.

Marcie comes flouncing back in the house in her negligee while Randal is nursing on his mom. Just about anyway. Sorry, but I don’t feel sorry for him. Not that I think what Marcie is doing is right, but he just got done begging Alex to continue with the affair. Whoa! Mom just slapped Marcie and Marcie cracked her one back. She’s going on and on about Marcie having done it in the shed, which is ironic because that’s where Randal and Alex were doing it. Marcie lets fly with all the information to Mom. Marcie tells Randal she hates him and he needs to leave and take Mom with him. She adds that if he doesn’t go, she’s going to do it with Brad every night until he does.

Natalie is awakened by a phone call from Mr. Kim. Mr. Kim is checking to see if the restaurant was locked up. She finds Joey’s room empty, but tells Mr. Kim Joey is sleeping. When Mr. Kim asks if Joey has seen his daughter, Natalie pretends to ask about it and makes like it’s Joey’s voice in the background saying he hasn’t seen her. This is kind of stupid, but I guess it works.

Alex calls Marcie, whose head must be spinning right now. She tells Alex that she found Brad in the backyard and everything is cool. Just as Alex is talking about him never returning her calls, he sends her a picture of the shed. She insists Marcie tell her what Brad was doing in the backyard and tells her about the picture. Marcie asks her if anything else was in the pic, and if that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is, but Alex just says she has to go.

Another whoa! (And it’s only been on 20 minutes) Natalie catches Faun and Joey going at it in the burger place, and throws a bucket of cold water on them. She tells them to gather up their clothes and for Faun to go call a cab. She has enough presence of mind to ask Joey where the condom wrapper is, but there’s no answer for that, so… She tells him to bleach down the counters.

Lucien comes by Natalie’s to pick up the girls for school. He can tell something is wrong. He brings up the house they planned to buy together and she gets standoffish. She tells him that Randal is clearly the father of Alex’s baby. She tells him she needs his help with Joey. She needs him to tell Joey about the birds and the bees. Lucien starts laughing when she tells him about Faun and Joey, but he says he’ll talk to Joey. Natalie takes the girls and Lucien tells Joey what a condom is.

Eddie visits Brad’s office. Brad wants to talk to Alex’s dad. He’s also Eddie’s uncle. Brad wants him to see his new grandchild; I’m sure because his father-in-law is a total racist. Eddie asks if Brad understand the amount of hell he’ll be bringing on, and Brad says he does. Eddie lights up a joint in Brad’s office and Brad takes a hit. What kind of a loosey-goosey town do they live in?

Travis brings Kelly’s son home from a ballgame and she tells him to take a hike (Travis, not her son). Travis says he’s tired of being treated like a yo-yo. He asks if there’s someone else. I don’t get this guy. Doesn’t he have someone else? She tells him he has no say-so in her business and pushes him toward the door. Ramsey is at the door and Travis acts like an idiot, asking him who he is. Ramsey says he’s not doing well, and wants to thank Marcie for last night. When Travis acts like a bigger idiot, Ramsey explains that his mother had just died. Ramsey leaves and how many times does Kelly have to tell Travis to get out?

Eddie begs the captain to let him go back to work. The captain says he can’t let him come back until the doctor okays it and that it’s department policy. Ben is back on desk duty. He wants to go for a beer with Pete after work, but Pete doesn’t want to go if Eddie is there. Ben says Eddie is cool, but Pete says he still doesn’t want to be around Eddie. He agrees to have a beer with Ben. With weird, ominous music playing in the background, I think something more is up.

Mom tries to give Marcie a hangover smoothie. She tells Marcie about how her husband had an affair with one of her closest friends. She says she sat in extreme pain, but still didn’t retaliate, and that doing the right thing takes strength and courage, and that Marcie has that in her. She adds that what Marcie does next will determine the rest of her life. She tells Marcie that gritting your teeth and sucking it up while surrounded with grief is called being a woman. You got that right, sister.

Marcie sees Brad fiddling with the grill while he’s wearing a white shirt and tie. (???) He says he was going to burn some photos, but now he has a better idea. When Marcie asks what it is, he tells her to ask Alex.

The People’s Couch

They’re watching that variety show hosted by Neil Patrick Harris, and the B52s are singing Love Shack. I sometimes sing at karaoke (quit laughing) and the woman who owns the business went to high school with Fred Schneider. He comes to her annual Christmas party and occasionally comes to karaoke. I don’t think it counts when you’re singing your own songs though. Anyway, he’s a really nice guy.

It was kind of funny the first time I met him at one of her parties. I recognized him, but couldn’t remember from where. I was glad I didn’t ask him if he went to karaoke. It would have been like that scene in Animal House when Flounder asks the guy in the bar, “So, where do you go to school?”

Quote of the week – it was a toss up:

I would like a guy in a sparkly dress with a champagne glass to show up and tell me what to do. Scott, in reference to a scene in Jane the Virgin.

I do love history and I do love getting drunk. Julie, in reference to Drunk History.