What I Watched Today
(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)
It’s almost Halloween! And as we know, celebrations go on much longer in Port Charles than IRL. Lulu scares the crap out of Maxie, popping out in a mask on The Haunted Star. Maxie reminds her that she just found a body in the water, right off the front porch, and Lulu concurs that maybe her timing was bad.
That’s right, I forgot Brad is a lab technician. Alexis confers with him about the DNA test and he says he can’t believe she swiped a baby’s binkie. I guess he’s forgotten some of the depths he’s sunk to, but I’m glad to see him.
Some fat dude, who looks like The Sopranos’ Big Pussy if he cleaned up well, brings Sonny a cannoli. Sonny asks if anyone knows who put the hit out on Carrrlos. Fat Dude says it was no one from Sonny’s organization, and that they wouldn’t have acted on something Ava said without his say-so. Sonny isn’t convinced Carrrlos shot him. He wants Fat Dude to find out who killed Carrrlos. The revolving door happens, and Fat Dude leaves, while Patrick and Carly enter. Sonny wants to go home…today.
Lucas talks to Julian about his upcoming nuptials with Brad. For whatever reason, Julian suggests that Brad might be playing him for a fool. I thought Brad’s wandering ways were over. What did I miss?
Olivia is still weeping over Ned, and I would be too, since he’s one fine-looking man. She gives Dante the lowdown. He says she did the right thing and says sometimes no matter how hard you try the truth comes out in the end. She wonders if he’s still talking about her or something else. Olivia tells him that Julian seemed to buy the adoption story, but Alexis, not so much
Brad asks Alexis for legal help. She thinks he’s talking about his divorce from Rosalie (oops! forgot about that), but he says there’s more to it than that and he could go to prison for a long time, and so could Rosalie. I can’t wait to find out what on earth they did. I also can’t imagine why they’d have to stay married because of it. Unless his parents know the truth and are holding it over their heads.
Anna visits Doc (Kevin) for help with her delusions. It’s like old home week! Can I put in an order for some Faison? Doc thinks that Anna is talking about seeing Duke, and she says she’d actually be grateful for that. Oh wow. She tells Doc she’s been seeing Carrrlos. Is she going to tell him everything? Would that fall under doctor/patient confidentiality?
Commercial break. I have to admit, I’ve only seen Grey’s Anatomy once. It was the one where Seth Green died and it was really depressing. That’s not what’s stopping me from watching it though. It looks like a terrific show, but I just can’t watch everything.
Dillon interrupts The Haunted Star decorating and complains that he still needs to film there. At least I know where he’s filming now. But not for long. Maxie says his unrequited love problems are causing delays and they should shoot somewhere else. Lulu doesn’t want them filming there either. Dillon apologizes to Lulu for being a jerk and begs to finish filming there.
Anna asks Doc about the doctor/patient thing, and he says unless a patient says they’re going to hurt someone, it’s all good. She says what about a crime that’s already been committed, and he says that’s a grey area.
Brad and Alexis are interrupted by Lucas (who I consistently want to call “Nathan”) and Julian. Alexis says it’s clear that Julian is hiding something, and he says he’ll tell her when they get home. Since there’s only 20 minutes left of the show, I assume this means tomorrow, or next week. Surprisingly, it’s after the next commercial. Julian has had a new house designed and built for them. Contractors work fast there! Mushy stuff with candles, rose petals and a bathtub. Congratulations to Julian for keeping his shirt on for a whole two days…almost.
Commercial break. I can’t take one more of these Xarelto commercials with Kevin Nealon and Arnold Palmer and the racing guy. I can’t.
Lulu says that Dillon makes her uncomfortable now and she wants him to film somewhere else. Although why she has to be there when they’re filming escapes me. Dillon says he’s already gotten half a million from his father (what did he spend it on?) and can’t ask for any more. Maxie suggests hitting up other family members because if he can’t do that “what’s the point of being related to those back-biting lunatics?” meaning the Quartermaines.
Anna comes thisclose to telling Doc everything, but doesn’t quite. She makes it sound like she’s seeing things because she was with Duke at the end.
Patrick says no way is Sonny going anywhere. Despite his just-back-from-the-Bahamas look, apparently he’s got a long way to go. Patrick leaves. Fat Dude and Junior pop in. Junior is now my name for the young guy in the thankless role, who has no lines and has been guarding Sonny’s room.
Brad tells Lucas that he’s taken steps to extract himself from his marriage, and then he’ll be free to marry Lucas. Lovey dovey stuff and they kiss as the elevator door closes.
While Julian sloshes through the rose petals to get a beer or something, Alexis looks at the paper from the lab. Hard to tell what the news is from the faces she’s making, but we already know that baby Mateo is baby Leo.
Maxie suggests Dillon get half the door at the Haunted Star Halloween party as an investment. Maxie says after that, she’ll never have to hear from Dillon again. Lulu agrees.
Doc gives Anna a prescription for low dose anti-anxiety meds, and says maybe next time she can tell him what she couldn’t today.
Carly busts in on Patrick, and demands to know when Sonny is going to walk. Patrick says Sonny could be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. I’ll bet he’s walking by Christmas.
When last we left our yachtees, Dane had just gotten the boot from Captain Lee.
The primary guest is celebrating his 50th birthday. He’s coming with his girlfriend, sons and some other friends. The girls flip out over the pic of one of his friends who looks exactly like Ryan Gosling. Seriously, they could pass for twins. They do say we all have one somewhere, right? They want a white party and the captain tells Chef Leon to use his imagination. He doesn’t know how much he’s asking. They’ve also requested shark diving, so it should be an interesting trip.
Rocky is actually doing her job. And she says she’s enjoying it. Apparently, the “hooking up” she and Eddie did last week paid off. I love the dress uniforms that they welcome and say good-by to the guests in. The women look like old-fashioned airplane stewardesses. Like the Barbie outfit I used to have. Minus the hat.
The primary’s girlfriend looks a bit like Jessica Alba. I wonder if they’re celebrity impersonators. They’re having lunch on the deck and she’s wearing a sunhat. This makes me remember a time, when eating outside at South Street Seaport, I wish I’d had one.
Leon is such a d-bag. Kate is trying to explain to him that the primary has never had a proper birthday cake, because she thinks it should be special, and Leon acts like the biggest snot rag ever. Oh Lord, he won’t even let her use a box from the galley. I’d rather work with ten Rockys than half of this guy.
Oh no! The shark dive has to be cancelled. The visibility stinks, and 10 foot visibility + 10 foot sharks = unsafe. Captain Lee says he hates giving guests bad news, and I can understand that. He probably hopes it doesn’t affect the tip too, even though it’s out of his control. The guests are cool about it though, and they’re going to do a lobster dive. I actually think I’m more disappointed than they are.
Commercial break. I love Captain Lee, but he looks mighty uncomfortable doing those Après Ski ads.
OMG – Leon is going on and on about this box. Finally, Kate finds some other cardboard, and she and Connie make…something. Yikes! Emile thinks Leon is a great guy and he’s great at what he does. Are we seeing the same guy? Okay, I see. Connie is dressing up like a shark in lieu of the shark dive and the cardboard thing they made is a headpiece. Never mind the tip, these people are going to want their money back. Eddie says it’s like they’re in middle school and I agree. Eddie wants to break up with his girlfriend, but knows it’s bad form to do it on the phone.
Leon is taking a nap and Rocky is looking for stuff to make chicken quesadillas. Hopefully, she’ll cook the chicken all the way through this time. Uh-oh. She’s making it for the guests and the captain notices. He says Leon has misplaced the concept that they’re not on his schedule, but the guests’ schedule. And seriously, after last week’s raw chicken fiasco at the crew dinner she cooked, Rocky should not be allowed to cook for the guests.
Emile is bartending and talking about his personal life to the guests. Isn’t that backward? They say he’s the Rico Suavé of the yacht. I detect sarcasm here.
Leon is doing that smear on the plate thing. I always think it just makes the plate look messy the second you start to eat. He tells Kate the name of the dish in French, and she says she knew the kitchen was bi-polar, but not bi-lingual. I think it’s funny and deserved, but Rocky says Kate’s “being evil.” Please. Leon is a total dickweed. (Spellcheck tried to make that “duckweed,” but ha-ha, I trumped it.) Captain Lee is hanging around in the galley because he’s sick of Leon’s attitude. This is the third or fourth time he’s served “beef cheeks,” this season too. This is the guy who the captain wanted to use his imagination.
Rocky is on night shift, and thinks this means just having fun with the guests. Amy tells her that once in a while she needs to extract herself and actually do some work. I guess that spurt of ambition is over. As they do dishes, Rocky says she’s thinking about her life and where she’s at. Mentally, I guess that would be nowhere. Amy SKYPES with her brother, who was a deckhand last season.
Eddie and Rocky “hook up” again in the laundry room. I think Eddie is going to be sorry. Rocky says she feels like he cares about her, but I’ll bet he doesn’t care about her more than his job.
Kate says she’s never had such a miserable experience with a chef than she has with Leon. I’ve never even worked with a chef, and I can still say with total conviction, me too. Captain Lee is very close to being totally pissed off. For whatever reason, Emile says that the Kate/Leon discord is because of him and Rocky. Connie says he’s an idiot. Yep. Amy once again tries to get through to Rocky about her job attitude. Rocky says she’s not four and stop talking to her like a 4-year-old. Stop acting like one then. She can’t seem to grasp that work is not the place where you do whatever you want and that you actually have to work. Of course she loves Leon too. It’s no surprise since neither one of them has any work ethic. Or probably any other ethic.
Leon is going to make rabbit, and one of the guests tells a sad story about how they ate her pet rabbit as a kid. Leon is still going to make rabbit. Kate suggests they have venison next while watching Bambi. The guest who told the rabbit story gets upset when it’s served. I think it’s creepy and it doesn’t help when one of the other guests starts singing “Here Comes Peter Cottontail.” What a cretin.
It’s midnight and they’re having a birthday countdown with a toast a la New Year’s Eve. The birthday boy wants to watch Kung Fu movies. Sounds like a reasonable request. The popcorn stays too long in the microwave and everything is smoke city. Even I know you have to keep an eye on microwave popcorn. Or an ear (no pun intended). Fire in the galley! The pizza has started a fire in the regular oven and smoke alarms are going off.
Next week’s part two looks great, a real sh*tshow. Leon acting all smug, telling Captain Lee that everything is Kate’s fault; Rocky having some kind of emotional breakdown in front of Eddie, stripping, and jumping into the water; and Chef Ben coming back! Does this mean Leon is walking the plank?
The People’s Couch
Since this is a show where I’m watching other people make comments about what they’re watching, for me to comment on it seems redundant. So instead it’s the source of this week’s quote.
“She’s too perky to go to the hospital. Perky people don’t go to the hospital.” One of the “glammas” in reference to a scene in Fargo.