Tag Archives: Real Housewives

June 21, 2017 – a Bump in the Puerto Rican Night, Ramona in a Ponytail, Chef Battles & Rearview Mirrors

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Laura, Doc, and Spencer go to Kelly’s. Spencer says it’s kind of Doc to accommodate him, but he still wants what he had at Windemere. He thinks Charlotte should be embarrassed to call Valentin her father.

Lulu and Charlotte bring Dante’s phone to the station. Charlotte says it looks like the same place where Valentin made the video. Lulu says it is, and Charlotte wonders why, since he’s not a policeman.

Quinn tells Nathan and Amy that pictures are the best sales tool they have. She says traffic on the website spiked as soon as his picture went up. They want to approach the book the same way.  His eyes command attention, and attention turns to sales. Nathan says they can’t use his picture.

Jason leaves another message for Sonny, but gets cut off. My mistake, it’s not Kirby; it’s Garvey who’s after Sonny. I can’t help it if he’s one of those interchangeable characters who looks like a Kirby.

Carly and Sonny get caught in the rain. She wants to put something dry on, but he tells her she looks great as is.

Quinn says a new author like Nathan is in no position to make demands. Amy says he doesn’t think of himself as an author, just a typical guy giving advice. People feel more comfortable approaching him from behind a keyboard. Quinn says his face is the book, but Nathan says it’s about offering people sound guidance. She says no picture, no publisher; his face is the brand.

Nina gives Nelle some instructions. She says it’s a lot of work because they’re so backed up, but if an article holds Nelle’s interest, bring it to her attention. Nina notices a bracelet Nelle has on that Charlotte made out of macaroni. She has one too.

Dante sits Charlotte on his desk. He asks if she remembers what happened at the Nurses Ball. She says everyone was scared. Lulu says Valentin had to answer some questions about it, so he made the video there too. Dante says there are other people who have questions, and he went to answer them. Charlotte says then he’ll come back like he promised.

Jason thinks he should call Max, but Sam isn’t too sure. Jason is having enough trouble convincing them he’s out of the business. Michael knocks on the door. He has paperwork for Jason; they’re reorganizing the family trust. Jason tells him that Sonny’s phone keeps dropping out of service. Michael says that he and Carly are in Puerto Rico, and to try the landline. He asks if it’s important, and Jason says it could be.

Sonny makes a fire, and the rain is REALLY LOUD. So LOUD, I can barely hear them. Lightning strikes, and Carly jumps into Sonny’s arms. She says sorry, it seemed so close. The electricity goes out, but he says the storm shouldn’t last too long. She reminds him of when they were trapped for four days, and he said it was only going to be a couple of hours. She says it was one of her favorite times there. She lights some candles, and he talks about the time they taught the boys to play poker. She says that Sonny almost folded to let Morgan win.

Nathan tells Quinn that he appreciates the meeting, and Amy asks to confer with her client. In the hallway, Nathan tells Amy that he wants to help, but he can’t let her put his face on the book. Amy says she has a fix, but he says he can’t do his job with people thinking he’s an advice columnist. She asks him to let her try and save the deal. He says as long as his face doesn’t end up on a book cover. Amy tells Quinn they’ll do the photo shoot.

Spencer asks if anyone has been back to Windemere, but Laura wants to talk about something more pleasant. Spencer wants to address the issue of his stolen inheritance, but she says it wasn’t stolen. Doc explains about the will, and how the estate went to Valentin. Spencer lost his claim when Stavros died. They didn’t realize it, but it’s always belonged to Valentin. Spencer asks why Valentin didn’t claim it before, and Laura says it was only made known after Helena died. He asks what happens if Valentin goes to prison, and Laura tells him that Nina will probably decide.

Nina says she keeps telling herself it’s for the best; Lulu is Charlotte’s biological mother, and it might confuse her. Nelle says that isn’t true. She got to see the family up close, and Charlotte adores her. Nina says she did, but she’s living with Lulu now. Nelle thinks it’s best for Nina to stay in Charlotte’s life; there’s nothing confusing about a mom and a stepmom. Nina says Lulu wouldn’t be happy with it, but Nelle says Charlotte’s happiness is more important than Lulu’s comfort level.

Jason tells Michael that an old associate might be coming after Sonny. Michael wonders why Julian would say anything, and Sam says he claims that he’s trying to be better person, even though they don’t believe it. Michael says he’ll give Max the guy’s name, and have him tighten security. Jason asks if he’s sure that’s all. Michael promises that he’s not going anywhere near his father’s business, but that brings him to other reason he’s here. He asks if Jason wants to join him at ELQ.

Carly and Sonny drink to the best hurricane he can remember. She tells Sonny that he makes strong drinks, and he says they just have to relax and wait out the storm. She says it’s better than waiting at the airport. They both hear some noise outside, and Carly asks, what’s that? Sonny tells her to stay there and he’ll check.

Amy tells Quinn that they’ll do the shoot on Nathan’s terms. They’re not to show his face full to the camera. They want to preserve the mystery, so he’s in a shadow and only one eye is shown. Quinn says the customer needs a reason to pick up the book in the first place, and Amy says, exactly. A man’s face is in the shadow, with one brilliant blue eye showing; it makes them curious pick up the book, and it’s sold. Quinn says they’ll do it her way.

Lulu says there are new things Charlotte is getting used to, like thinking of them as family. Charlotte says papa and Nina are family too. Lulu says he had to go away, and truthfully, none of them know when he’s coming back, but she has plenty of people who love her. Charlotte says sometimes Spencer isn’t nice, and Lulu says that Charlotte can always come to her.

Nina looks at the family photo on her desk. Nelle comes into the office, and says she found something Nina might like. It’s a backstage account of a fashion show from an anonymous dresser. Nina likes a new point of view, and says she’ll read it. She asks Nelle to pick up a quinoa/kale salad that Kelly’s makes special for her, and tells Nelle to get lunch for herself too.

Michael talks about sustainable energy sources getting pushed back from Ned, and how he needs someone to get accurate feedback on the profitability. He tells Jason that there’s a lot of travel involved. Jason says he has no experience, but Michael says he’s a problem solver. When going over qualifications for a project manager, he realized Jason would be perfect.

Carly picks up a fireplace poker, and almost hits Sonny. He says good thing he checked. An intruder is outside, and it’s no one she wants to mess with. I’m thinking it’s a racoon or something.

Michael needs someone he can trust, and can’t think of anyone better, but Jason says it’s not the right time. He says Michael will need him to be away, and he’s been away enough. Sam says they can make it work. Michael gets a text from Nelle wanting to meet at Kelly’s, and he replies that he’s on his way. Sam asks if there’s a time limit, and Michael tells her the middle of next month. She asks if they can think about it for a couple of days, and he says okay, but needs to fill the position asap. He leaves, and Jason asks if she’s trying to get rid of him. Sam says that she wants him to have a challenge not involving Sonny

Carly says that parrot is still here? It’s Tito, the mean escape artist parrot. She asks if he’s okay with a rogue parrot that scared her to death, and tries to bite the guests. Sonny asks why she’s so jumpy.

Jason didn’t realize that Sam was still worried about Sonny. She says he seems fixated on warning him, and turned Michael down without even thinking about it. She wonders if he’s worried that he’ll be away if something happens to Sonny.

Quinn says once contracts are signed, they’ll schedule the photo shoot. She thinks it has mass appeal, and Man Landers is compelling. She’s overnighting the contracts. In the hallway, Amy is thrilled. She thinks the mystery man thing works for them, and thanks Nathan for trusting her and not walking out. She says it’s a huge deal for her and her brother, and hugs him.

Spencer asks what Nina has to do with it; a virtual stranger gets to decide the fate of Windemere? Laura says Valentin’s team of lawyers are probably hashing it out, and he asks if it wasn’t Shakespeare who said kill all the lawyers? He goes to bathroom, and Laura tells Doc that she was hoping boarding school would reign in his behavior. Doc says it helps create distance between him and his grief, and he keeps control with things as they were. Laura thanks him, and he says it’s been a blessing. They’ve fulfilled his life in ways he never imagined. They kiss.

Michael asks Nelle what the good news is, and she tells him about the job at Crimson. She says he was right. The bird pooping on her shoulder might have been good luck, and she thinks things are turning around.

Amy understands what an imposition it is, and how Nathan isn’t comfortable, but Nathan says he’s glad to help. She says Chet would do the same in his position, because he’s a good person. He says he’s doing it for her.

Michael asks how Nelle decided on fashion publication, and Nelle says it decided on her. She thinks it’s going to be a good fit. Michael says they have to celebrate. She says she’s just there to pick up lunch. He says ELQ is sponsoring a concert in park, and asks her to go with him.

Sam says she’d know Jason was safe if he worked for Michael. He says he’ll be right here, and not overseas working for Sonny or troubleshooting for ELQ. He says he doesn’t regret leaving Sonny’s business. He says he’s worried though, and wants to fly down. She says he can’t

Sonny tells Carly to relax. She says everywhere she looks, she sees the boys and goes over memories. She says the four of them were together, and there was enough time for everything. Sonny says time ran out. They look sadly at each other.

Nathan asks if Charlotte is joining the PCPD, but Lulu says they’re headed to Lila’s Kids. Dante says thanks for the phone, and asks how Nathan is.

Nelle asks if it’s a date, and Michael asks if they’re allowed. She says yes, and tells him she’ll see him later.

Doc thinks Spencer’s been gone a long time, and goes to check. Nelle says hello to Laura, and asks how Charlotte is. Laura says she’s enjoying Lila’s Kids, especially the arts and crafts. Doc comes back, saying that Spencer is gone.

Spencer walks into Nina’s office. He asks if he’s addressing Nina Reeves or Nina Cassadine, and says they need to talk.

Sam says Jason claimed he didn’t want to be part of the business. He says he just wants Sonny to know there’s a threat. Sam says she’s coming with him.

Carly tells Sonny that she sees Morgan everywhere on the island, and the worst thing that could happen really happened. Sonny says their son is gone. Carly says that no matter how happy you are, it’s just a moment that can disappear. He tells her thinking that way robs them of what they have right now. he says maybe they can be happy again. They kiss. Someone lurks in the shadows.

Tomorrow, Laura looks for Spencer, Jordan wants to cool things off with Curtis, and Sam isn’t letting Jason out of her sight.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Carole meets Tinsley for breakfast. Tinsley says her mother is coming to town, and accompanying her to look for apartments. They talk about going to the NY Botanical Garden Winter Wonderland Ball, and Carole looks up the pictures online, using her phone. Tinsley is happy to be in the press for something good. She says she’s glad to be back in the swing of things, and that she’s still going to counseling for what happened to her. Carole says she should redefine herself, starting with cutting her hair. In her interview, Carole says reinvention is not repetition. Tinsley says she’s not changing her look or her life.

Sonja packs for her trip, while Frenchie makes hors d’oevres. He’s going to be spending part of his time in Paris. Sonja says she doesn’t like when he walks in on her in the bathroom, and he tells her she should close the door. She says Tinsley keeps saying she’s leaving, but she wants to make sure that Tinsley is comfortable back in the city first. Sonja talks to Frenchie about how the girls are gossiping. Frenchie says he doesn’t like that they make a bigger deal out of Rocco than he is. In her interview, Sonja says she has a good time with Rocco, and until she doesn’t, she’s going to see him.

Ramona facetimes with Ashley. She’s proud of herself for redecorating without a decorator. I had to do that after we had a flood, and didn’t think it was that huge of an accomplishment. She’s having a sort of housewarming party, and invited Bethenny, wanting to bridge the gap. Ashley thinks she should give it space, and then try to straighten it out for the sake of their play friend group.

Tinsley and realtor friend Chris meet with her mother, Dale. Chris shows them a four-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment that’s only nine grand a month. Tinsley says her mother has no idea what downtown is, and thinks Manhattan is only the Upper East Side. They move on.

Carole’s friend/interior designer, John, arrives. She wants to get her 60-year-old couch recovered. She dumps fabric swatches out of a tote bag. John thinks cat-friendly is the way to go. Adam shows up, and Carole gives him some of the stuff he left behind. In her interview, she says things are going much better now that Adam has moved out, since she lives in a tiny apartment. Her definition of tiny being different from mine. The disagree over who owns a Buddha head. Omg, this is so high school.

Dale is much more approving of the next apartment. It is pretty impressive, and also nine thousand a month. Chris thinks it’s more bang for her buck and much more “her.” Tinsley is afraid of moving too fast, but won’t feel like she’s really back until she has her own place. She starts to get teary, and Dale suggests staying at a hotel. The apartment has its own elevator, and I want to cry.

Frederik visits Bethenny’s loft, and says that it smells cleaner. We flash back to him telling her it’s too cluttered. He thinks it looks a lot better and you can breathe now. He says get rid of the bar and they’ll get five and a quarter (million). Bethenny has spent a lot on the bar, and is concerned about it breaking if they try to move it.

Carole calls Dorinda, asking if she’s packed for Washington, where they’re going to protest at the Women’s March. They’re leaving in the morning. Carole is taking her lucky monkey.

Sonja meets Rocco at a bar and bakery. He tells her that Frank Sinatra practically lived there. In her interview, Sonja says she’s between a Rocco and a hard place. Since Frenchie knows about Rocco, she now has to tell Rocco about Frenchie. Rocco has had the place closed so that they can have dinner privately. They discuss Tom, and Rocco says he cheated when he was young. Sonja starts to stammer, and tells him about taking a complete stranger home one night. She thought he was going back to Paris, but now he’s smitten with her. She dances around the fact that he’s moved in. She tells Rocco that there aren’t any more guys in her life like either one of them. If I didn’t know what she was saying, I would have no idea what she was saying. Rocco says anyone can have sex, but friendship is important. In her interview, Sonja says Frenchie is possibly an infatuation, while Rocco is in it for the long haul. Rocco asks where she thinks it’s going with them, and Sonja answers without answering. They toast to the next kiss.

Dorinda and Carole march. We see lots of pink hats. Dorinda’s daughter, Hannah, joins them as well. Carole says she wants to hold this administration accountable, and feels they’re standing on the right side of history. Dorinda feels like a better person for being involved, and says this is huge. Hannah is proud to be a woman. It’s all well and good, but sounds like the Occupy Wall Street thing, where the protesters never really said what they were protesting about. Today’s word for this whole episode is, vague.

Tinsley wants to get rid of the tattoo of her husband’s initials, and her friend Anika says she didn’t even take her ex’s last name. Ha-ha! Ramona gets ready for her party. She has a cool flat screen TV where a non-Yule log is burning. Carole thinks Ramona is more traditional than the apartment reflects, and that she’s sporting an I Dream of Jeannie vibe. Dale compliments Ramona on her high ponytail. Dorinda presents her with a candle. Harry arrives. Ramona thinks she’s the only one he hasn’t dated. He asks about Sonja, who’s late. Tinsley has known him forever, but wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. He makes inappropriate comments and follows her.

Sonja blows in. She’s not drinking again, and goes the other way when she sees Harry. Too late; he’s seen her. She tells him she’s turned a new leaf, and he’s in Paris. Everyone makes small talk. Luann is happy that everyone is happy for her and Tom. She assumes Bethenny isn’t coming, and Dorinda says that Ramona and Bethenny aren’t talking. Ramona says she did invite Bethenny, but she RSVP’d she wasn’t coming. In her interview, Ramona thinks the RSVP is a step forward. Carole suggest that Ramona call or text privately, but Ramona wanted to show there were no hard feelings – even though Bethenny was “as bad as [she] was.” Here comes that backhand. She tells Carole she doesn’t remember exactly what she said, and Carole tells her that she’d had too much to drink. Dorinda says she uses alcohol as an excuse all the time. Ha-ha! Ramona says she loves Bethenny, and does want to apologize. Harry bugs Sonja.

Ramona says she wasn’t really thinking when she made up the guest list. Missy, who’d thought she was dating Tom and walked in on him with Luann, is there. Tom tells Luann that Missy is happy for them. In her interview, Luann says it’s healthy to be friends with your exes. Harry pumps Missy for the deets, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Dorinda vogues. Sonja says that Ramona is a pot stirrer, like we didn’t know, and that Ramona has been telling her what everything cost. They hear something crash in another room, and Sonja calls out, $12.99!

Next time, Bethenny wants to go snowboarding, Tinsley goes to therapy, and Dorinda comes for Sonja at yet another dinner fail.

🍲 On MasterChef, lifeguards were fed, but I was left with the question of wth is a purple green bean? If it’s purple, how can it be green? I have to admit to being a little happy when contestant Jennifer’s pork was undercooked. She’s a debt collector who claims her job is stressful, but I’ll bet it’s not nearly as stressful as it is for the people she hounds. Gordon basically said she let a setback cause her to “disintegrate.” Sadly, the balcony got polled, and she got to stay. She seems like a real jerk who can barely form a sentence, so there’s hope for more mistakes.

🎣 The challenge teams on The f Word were Slaw & Order (cops from Peachtree, GA – a gorgeous town) vs the The Food Bosses (a family who moved from the big city to a simpler life in rural TN). They made a New York strip steak with a dry rub, sautéed mushrooms, and potatoes. Andy Cohen had a cook-off with Gordon, and although I missed what they were cooking, Andy burned it. He doesn’t exactly strike me as the chef type. More like a Seamless customer. Joel McKale did some grilling, and Gordon did some scuba diving. He caught and cooked some spiky Caribbean pest fish that don’t belong in Islamorada, Florida, but make a tasty meal. Leslie Jones (love her! and she looks fantastic!) discussed grits and other food with Gordon. She also did a guess-the-food game, and we’ve all been forewarned that we probably don’t want to eat durian fruit. Or grasshoppers.

Gordon periodically checks with the diners about the team challenge, and I laughed when one said the potatoes were like something he’d make in the middle of the night when he was drunk. Personally, that’s when I prefer a can of Chef Boyardee anything. On Father’s Day, Gordon and daughter Mathilda challenged the world record holders, the McCurdys, for the number of eggs cracked with one hand. No shells in the glass, and one hand behind the back. I might be good for two or three. Maybe one. The McCurdys kept their title, bringing up their total as well. The Food Bosses won the challenge by a narrow margin. Next week, Gordon goes undercover again, and on a lake trip.

⌛ Andy Cohen: Then & Now brought us Being Rich: the 80s tonight, and how those spending habits then affect us now. Erika Girardi explained that money only brings out who you really are – if you’re a poor a-hole, you’ll be a rich a-hole. Mega-mansions; Donald Trump’s golden penthouse; the Playboy mansion (purchased in the 70s for one million), which Mauricio Umansky just sold for $100 million to Hugh Hefner’s neighbor, under the proviso that Hugh gets to live there in perpetuity, which is a scary thought; and Lisa Vanderpump’s Villa Rosa (Giggy’s house!). They’ve downsized since then, but she told us that as long as she and Ken have their own bathrooms, they’ll stay married. I understand. Kyle Richards said that today it’s all about the “smart house,” but I say no thanks. I’ve read Ray Bradbury’s short stories. A parade of amazing weddings came next. Carson Kressley weighed in on the topic, and I noticed he was wearing some seriously distressed jeans with a nice sportcoat, tie and pocket square. Shame on him. Larry Fortensky, the first trophy husband, is discussed, and it’s pointed out that while lavish weddings were once the thing, now it’s secret weddings a la Adele or Branjelina. Body maintenance was kept a secret in the 80s, but not really. One of Andy’s guests suggested that one day we’ll be able to download our soul into the cloud, and I almost fell off my chair laughing. Pre-nups! The Cat Lady! Who, btw, got billions in alimony, with the caveat that she can’t use any of it on plastic surgery. Greed is good, and Silicon Valley rich vs hedge fund rich. Bill Gates is worth $86 billion today, just in case you were wondering. Private jets, limos and yachts, and Robin Leach revealing that the most outrageous limo had a landing pad, hot tub, and a putting green. It was all about exclusivity and excess. Ah, the good old days. I miss them, and I’ll miss this show, as it’s the season finale. I love a good retrospective.

RearviewMirror

June 14, 2017 – Return of the Original Spinelli, Luann Gets Married, Gordon Kicks Butt & 2008

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

FYI, GH did not air anything new yesterday, so we didn’t miss anything. Areas where the Sessions testimony wasn’t on, got a rerun.

Jason looks at the shipping label from Jake’s package. Sam gets angry, and tells him this whole thing needs to be over.

Jake has a session with Andre. Elizabeth asks to talk to him for a second. She’s worried about Jake’s recovery. She says he’s been acting like nothing ever happened. She wonders if it’s part of Helena’s plan, and there’s something else to be triggered.

In Kelly’s with Nathan, Nina wonders if she should personally drop off a dress she has for Charlotte. She misses her, but Charlotte is getting used to living with Lulu now.

Anna visits Lulu. She hopes that Valentin hasn’t escaped custody, but Anna says he’s in custody in the Netherlands. She explains about the video that Valentin recorded; she promised she would show it to Charlotte.

The old Spinelli is back! He tells Sonny he’s sorry for his loss. Sonny says Ava is paying for what she did. Carly comes in, but Spinelli says unfortunately duty calls, and he can’t stay. Carly tells Sonny that Brick is cool, but she misses Spinelli, and Sonny should be grateful he has two geniuses to count on. Sonny is glad to see her, but she says they need to talk about what happened yesterday.

Nina says she did what Nathan wanted. She’s gotten the divorce papers back, and Valentin is in the Netherlands. Nathan says regardless of how he feels, Valentin loved her and it can’t be easy. Nina says they were a family, and it was the happiest time in her life, but it’s over. She says she also knows there was a part of Valentin that he couldn’t outrun, and that’s why he’s in prison. She’s moving on without bitterness or regrets. Well, maybe one regret.

Lulu tells Anna that they talked about Valentin visiting and reassuring Charlotte, but the WSB moved too fast. As usual, thinking only of herself, Lulu says Charlotte is doing great and doesn’t want to upset her by showing it to her. Anna says she gave her word. Lulu asks if there’s honor among spies, and Anna says they call it being human. He was a good father and wanted to say good-by. What is Lulu going to do when Charlotte asks later why her father never said good-by? I vote for lie and make a mess of things.

Andre sees no signs of a hidden agenda. His best advice to Elizabeth is to treat Jake like the others, and not like he’s under a microscope. She should trust how he’s doing. Everyone carries traces of trauma, but the important thing is to face it and not fear it; life continues.

Jason tells Sam that they can’t assume the threat is over. Helena is dead, but someone was working for her. Sam asks why it has to be him that finds them. Jason says a weapon was put in his son’s hands and he’s not letting it go. He asks her what’s going on. She says nothing; she’s just tired, and maybe coming down with something. Jason suggests someone else watch Scout, and she go back to the spa. She says she’s not a spa kind of girl, and he tells her to take a nap. If she feels up to it, maybe they can have lunch at the MetroCourt. She tells him be careful, and he says he always is.

Carly tells Sonny that things got emotional, and Sonny says no surprise. It was like the clouds parted when Ava confessed. It won’t bring Morgan back, but they have answers, and don’t have to believe they failed. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if she died. Carly says she got an update from Bobbie, and Ava’s condition has been upgraded to stable, and she’s even improving. Carly asks what if she never pays, but Sonny says she will in one way or another. He tells her to forget about Ava; he wants to feel what he did yesterday, and won’t let Ava change that. Carly brushes him off, saying she can’t do this.

Amy 2.0 asks Nathan for a favor. He says no, without even knowing what it is. He tells her that he’s not being the face of her advice column. She says he’s the only one who can save the book deal.

Lulu tells Anna that the last thing Charlotte needs is a reminder of a father who put her life at risk. Anna thinks that’s funny coming from someone with Luke as a father. You tell her, Anna. Lulu says that she’s not traumatizing Charlotte. Anna says it’s nothing cryptic; it’s sweet, and he tells her that wherever he is, he’ll be thinking about her. She adds that he’s promised to come back. Nina is at the door, and asks if that’s true, and if there’s a chance he could be released.

Jason meets with Spinelli. He explains about the package sent to Jake, and how it was really from Helena. Spinelli looks at the shipping label and says, The Jackal takes over.

Elizabeth drops by Jason’s place, wearing a beautiful lace top over a tank. She asks Sam if she can leave Jason a message. She tells Sam what Andre said, and wishes she felt they were past the danger. She mentions the shipping receipt, and Sam says that Jason is out looking for the mystery delivery man, and who knows what trouble that will start. Elizabeth says she just wants Jake safe, but Sam hears different voices in her head talking about being safe, like what happened to her at the spa. Elizabeth asks her about being an emergency contact while Jake is at camp, and is about to give her some information, but Sam sees her taking a gun out of her purse. Elizabeth hands her the forms, saying that she hopes it’s not an imposition. She asks if Sam is okay.

Spinelli tells Jason that he’s found security cameras in the area where the package came from.

Andre tells Jake that they’re just going to talk, and if he feels uncomfortable, just let him know. They do word association. He asks what he thinks of when he hears mom and dad – motorcycle riding and pizza – and has him elaborate. Then Andre says, Cassadine Island, and Jake is silent. He tells Jake what he thinks about – a little boy a lot like him, only younger, alone except for someone whispering in his ear. Jake says maybe, and Andre continues. He thinks the little boy had no one to talk to except an old woman telling him he was meant to do bad things. He says it’s a lot, but if Jake trusts him, he needs him to look at him. He tells Jake that he’s not that little boy anymore; he’s home and safe. He has his mom and dad and his brothers; he has Andre. He’s back where he belongs. He’s not a bad guy; he’s a good guy. I don’t think this is how word association works, but Andre is the psychiatrist. At a hospital I will never go to.

Carly tells Sonny that Josslyn knows. She says one minute they’re at each other’s throats, and the next they’re kissing. Sonny says he doesn’t blame Josslyn for being confused, but after what they’ve been though, it feels right. Carly says they keep going through the same cycle, and asks if he wants to go through it again. He says they made bad choices out of grief, but they can do better. Carly doesn’t want to risk doing it again, and risk hurting the ones they love. He asks if that’s really it, or is she still pissed about Jax?

Anna tells Nina that the WSB is confident they can secure a conviction. Nina talks about Valentin saying he’d be back last time, and he was. Anna can’t speculate. Nina says she knows Charlotte will miss him. Lulu has to pick her up, and asks Nina to wait to give her the dress personally. Anna says what about the message, but Lulu doesn’t know. She leaves, and Nina apologizes for putting Anna on the spot. Anna says it’s no secret how Lulu feels and why. Nina says it’s just them, and she wants to know what’s going to happen to Valentin.

Amy tells Nathan that there’s no book deal unless they can meet the man behind the column. Nathan says there is no man, and she should take credit for her own work. Clearly, he doesn’t have the answers to anyone’s problems, and the answer to this is no. He suggests she find someone else, and she tells him thanks for nothing. Geez, they’re basically acquaintances – Amy II expects a lot.

Anna doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but Valentin is living proof of what happens when the WSB wants to tie something off. She says the Chimera shouldn’t have existed in the first place, and they have to blame someone. She thinks they’re going to make Valentin the scapegoat. She doesn’t support it, but his hands aren’t clean. Nina says neither are her sister’s. Anna says they had her in custody, but she got away. She hates what Alex did, and thinks she should stand trial. Nina says it doesn’t matter; they’re getting divorced. Nina asks if Anna thinks she’s a coward. Anna says she can’t tell Nina how to think or feel, but the story isn’t black and white. The man she knew and married, Charlotte’s father, is a good man. She thinks he’s the man he wanted to be before it went so horribly wrong.

Carly says what Sonny did to Jax was wrong, but if the positions were reversed, she’d do the same. Sonny says thanks for admitting that they’re alike, which is why they belong together. She tells him that when things go wrong, they don’t balance each other out; they implode. He asks if she still wants a divorce.

Sam tells Elizabeth she’s sleep deprived and thinks she might be getting a cold. Elizabeth ask if she wants a doctor appointment, but Sam says no, and of course she can use her as a contact for Jake; she’s actually honored. Elizabeth asks her to have Jason call if he finds out anything. Sam says the guy is probably long gone, and Elizabeth says she hopes Sam is right. When Elizabeth is gone, Sam tells herself to get a grip. It’s nothing sleep won’t cure.

Spinelli tells Jason that maybe there was no delivery truck, and the guy came in a car. He notices one that was in the vicinity a couple of times. He can’t get clear image of a face, but gets the license plate. Jason says good thing Spinelli isn’t in the business anymore, or he might have to hack into government records and find out who owns the car. They smile at each other.

Lulu comes back with Charlotte. Nina tells Charlotte she missed her, and asks about camp. Charlotte asks if papa is back, but Nina says that she brought her something. Charlotte opens the box and says the dress is prettier than she’d imagined. Nina says she told them how to make it, so she’s the designer. Charlotte thanks her. Nina tells Charlotte that there have been a lot of changes, and she’s here living with her mom and new family. Nina thinks it’s cool, and wants her to know they won’t see each other that much anymore. Charlotte asks if she’s going away, but Nina says no. Charlotte is with her mom and family now, and she’s happy for her, but no matter what, she loves her. Charlotte says she knows, and loves her too. They sing a song together. Anna tells Lulu it’s not about them; it’s about Charlotte.

Sam wakes up startled, and thinking someone is there. She calls out, who are you, and what do you want? I’m not sure why people do that. If someone is sneaking around your house, they’re probably not going to answer those questions. Sam hears Scout crying, and goes upstairs.

Spinelli tells Jason that it’s a rental car, and he has to look up the license of the renter. After a moment, Spinelli says, got him.

Andre tells Elizabeth that he and Jake had a good talk. He’s a sensitive, bright boy, and they’re on the right track. Jake tells Andre he doesn’t want to be a magician anymore. Maybe he wants to play baseball. An orderly watches them from the hallway.

Lulu tells Charlotte that Anna has something for her too, from her papa. Anna tells her that Valentin was sad that he didn’t get to see her before he went away, but he made a video for her. She says she can set it up for privacy, but Charlotte wonders if Nina should hear it too, since she didn’t get to say good-by either.

Carly says she’ll sign everything back over to Sonny, and they can each keep what they brought to the marriage. He says rationally, it makes sense, and she asks if he agrees. He says they’ve been divorced before, and it didn’t change anything; they’re a part of each other. She says maybe they need to let go, and hugs him. That’s not letting go. She leaves, and Sonny ponders.

Charlotte gives Nina an earbud. She says she knows that Nina misses papa too. They listen together.

Amy is on the phone, saying she’ll find another way, and she’s sorry it’s going to take longer to find the money, but don’t give up, adding, I love you. Nathan overhears.

Sam says mommy needs her nap too, and gets back on the couch.

Spinelli asks Jason if he recognizes the guy, and he says yes. His name is Costa Phillipos, and he’s the orderly who was watching Jake.

Elizabeth thanks Andre. Jake says, happy mom, happy life. Andre thinks he might have a future as a baseball playing, motorcycle riding psychiatrist. Jake says he’ll think it over. The orderly follows them as they leave.

Tomorrow, Griff might know what’s wrong with Sam, Jake and Costa meet, and Olivia-F tells Julian to stay out of Leo’s life.

The Real Housewives of New York City

It’s morning at Sonja’s place, and her lover, Frenchie, is there. He’s already been up and out, and brought her a poinsettia, and is making eggs. In her interview, she says he’s taking it seriously, and it looks like they’re dating, and she’s dating Rocco. Tinsley comes down. She likes when Frenchie spends the night because she gets breakfast. In her interview, Tinsley tells us that originally Sonja had picked him out for her, and then scooped him up. They discuss relationships and labels. Zzzz… IMO nobody likes labels because they’re afraid to commit. To anything. In her interview, Sonja says it’s scary, and not what she was looking for, but expects things to fall into place. Frenchie mentions Rocco, so he’s not as ignorant as Sonja thinks. He makes more eggs, and I think I’m in love.

Bethenny is decorating for her holiday party. She wants it to be a glam NYC party. A super gigantic bottle of SkinnyGirl is brought in. There’s a luge made of ice on it, and some kind of contraption that you can drink out of. Someone gave me a bottle of her Cosmopolitan once, and it was good, but I was like, where’s the liquor? Dorinda throws a gift together in the car. Ramona wasn’t invited. She’s going out with Avery and her girlfriends instead. Do they know? Sonja is off to some faraway place after dropping in. Tinsley jokes that she and Connor are getting together while she’s away, but Sonja isn’t amused.

Bethenny has personalized ornaments for everyone. Dorinda arrives first, and marvels at the caviar. She asks the chef to teach her how to open an oyster. He says eating oysters is like eating the sea. Very poetic. Oyster success! Dorinda says the ornaments are perfect, and Bethenny says she has one for Luann, but she’s away. And Ramona isn’t allowed in her building. Coal for you!

Ramona and the girls go to a restaurant, and she suggests starting with a cocktail. In her interview, she says it’s like Avery’s Sweet Sixteen was yesterday, and now all the girls are in their twenties. Ramona tells the girls about how she blacked out and attacked Bethenny in a rage. She claims that she and Bethenny are a lot alike. One of the girls says she shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells with a friend, and Ramona acts like she’s Yoda. In her interview, Ramona says they have a bond and synergy. Oh… I’m not even sure what to say. We flash back to Dorinda squawking at her about the guest room being trashed.

Tinsley arrives at Bethenny’s party, laden with gifts. Everything is white and feathery, with red, and silver accents. Carole says she’d be a bigger drinker if they all came in an ice sculpture luge. Tinsley talks about Ramona not apologizing for trashing Dorinda’s room, but saying that she shouldn’t have come at Bethenny. Dorinda tells them that she suggested leaving Ramona a can of gasoline next time. Sonja joins the group, and Dorinda says she was recapping. She says that Ramona is all, ignore it and it will go away, and Carole is surprised at Ramona’s aggression. She thinks that divorced life isn’t as fun as Ramona thought it would be. Sonja says Ramona has always trashes hotel rooms. What?

At the restaurant, Ramona tells the story in a whole different way, making up some cock-and-bull story, and pretending it was nothing. <sigh> We saw the pictures. Ramona says how special the girls are to her, and everyone toasts.

Luann gets ready for her big day. Dorinda arrives. Luann thinks she forgot she had to be there early for hair and makeup, and went to the beach. In her interview, Luann says she’s a hopeless romantic (or maybe she’s just hopeless – BA-DUM-CHH!), and Tom is like “home” for her. She feels loved, wanted, and whole as a couple. The attendants come down the aisle, with Luann following with her brother. She says it’s everything she imagined, and of course, she looks breathtaking. The altar is adorned with a simple arch of flowers. In her interview, Luann says a lot of people weren’t supportive, so this is what she has to say to them, and holds up her ring fingers. The bride and groom are announced, and Marilyn Monroe pops out of a cake. The first dance and cake happen while Luann voiceovers about love.

Carole and Bethenny go to Chinatown. They have lunch at a dumpling house where you pick your own dumplings and other dishes out from a cart. Carole wants Bethenny to choose her food. Bethenny says Carole is literally lost in America. They talk about not being invited to Luann’s wedding. In her interview, Carole alludes to something about Tom, but I’m not sure what. That he’s gay? A playboy? I don’t know. Adam has finally moved out. Carole tells Bethenny it’s time, and six months of living together was a lot. She feels like there’s balance again.

Ramona visits Dorinda. Fast wedding. Do we get a special? Dorinda tells Ramona that she forgot to book some of the flights. In her interview, she hopes it wasn’t anything psychological. She says Luann looked like a princess, and shows Ramona some video clips. In her interview, Dorinda tells us that she also forgot her dress. She doesn’t want to go to any more parties right now. Apparently, Luann is having a party for the people who weren’t invited, or as Ramona says, the discards.

Bethenny and Ramona go to an ice cream place, where Bethenny orders green tea Oreo. Carole tries blueberry lavender, and makes a face like you would think. She ends up getting chocolate, and Bethenny tells her that she’s boring.

Sonja says she has to make space for Frenchie’s things. She explains to Tinsley that she told him that he’s more on Tinsley’s list than hers, because he’ll want kids, and he said what about adoption? Sonja pretends to faint. She gives Tinsley instructions on the changes he wants, and says it’s a conundrum. Tinsley wonders if she can make changes too.

NYC at Christmastime is a wonderland. Bethenny hopes this is the last celebration she attends for a wedding she wasn’t invited to. She says she did call Luann a whore though, and deserves her station in life, the aftermath party. Ha-ha! She hits the bar before anyone else gets there. Dorinda is next, and Bethenny says it’s weird that she’s been there by by herself for fifteen minutes. Ever the hostess, even though it’s not her party, Dorinda apologizes. Dorinda tells her about the wedding, and how they have to stop celebrating now. Bethenny says it’s like Ramadan.

Luann arrives – she’s married – time to celebrate! She says she didn’t cut the line, she just got in it, and got a great guy. Ramona thinks the venue is drab, and maybe they ran out of money. She’s the worst. She asks Luann about the wedding, explaining to Avery that it was Luann’s first wedding, since she eloped the first time. Luann tells them how wonderful it was. Ramona thinks Tinsley’s date – Troy, the guy she met at the bar – is more appropriate for Avery. Tinsley happens to look quite young, you jealous thing. I never liked them younger even when I was, but I think you should date/marry whoever you bloody well want to.

Tom talks about Luann putting her heart and soul into the wedding. Sonja makes a grand entrance with Frenchie. She’d been keeping him on the DL, but now her worlds are mixed. Tinsley tells Bethenny about Frenchie moving in, and Bethenny compares it to Three’s Company. I hear Ramona’s annoying laugh. In her interview, Dorinda wonders how that works with Sonja still dating Rocco.

Tinsley’s date is twenty-three. Carole thinks that’s fine, but he’s not husband material for her. Sonja says Ramona generally doesn’t bring one of her victims out in public. In other words, she’s brought a date. Tinsley spills her wine. Troy swills his wine. Frenchie talks about bicycling through a vineyard. Sonja says Tinsley’s date is like, twelve, and Ramona tells her to shush. Tom says Luann is a great cook, and Carole asks if he actually saw her make the food. Sonja introduces them to Frenchie.

Tom says Luann is the best present he ever got. Dorinda bangs on a glass for attention. She says since she made a speech that was barely understandable at the engagement party, she’s making a toast now. She thanks Luann for having them, and asks if they’re done celebrating. Everyone laughs. Encouraged, She gets off on a small tangent about how great the wedding was, even though some of them weren’t invited, and how good it made her feel. Tom says she always makes it nice. Kudos to him for paying attention. He talks about never being happier, and everyone drinks. Bethenny and company drink to the friends that weren’t invited.

Next time, Sonja tells Frenchie that everyone is joking about them, Sonja talks to Rocco, Frederik is back, and Dorinda tries to play peacemaker. Good luck with that.

🍳 Aarón Sánchez has joined Gordon and Christina Tosi as a judge on MasterChef. Gordon told contestant Mark that his American breakfast dish was “hard to look at,” and asked if he was just going through the motions. In all honesty, looking at his plate, I thought I could go through the motions better than that and wondered how he got here. That’s the first time I’ve said that in the history of MasterChef. Not surprisingly, Mark went home. He was a good loser sport, but then negated it by saying if he had two arms, he’d be patting himself on the back. Humility, dude.

🍜 On The f Word, Kal Pen, Max Greenfield, and Katy Perry were guests. The challenge dish was chicken parmigiana, with  spaghetti and broccoli rabe. The challengers were The Meatheads – a group of friends and retired football players – vs Win & Stein – siblings from Boca Raton who dress in costume on Thanksgiving, when they play a game of kickball, a bottle of champagne going to the winners. The Meatheads had the highest percentage of diners saying they’d pay for the meal, therefore moving to the finals. This surprised me, since several of the diners had complained of the chicken being undercooked.

It was National Bourbon Day, so Gordon played a game of truth or fiction with Kal, the loser drinking a shot. Gordon lost miserably, and after a few shots, started tossing them on the floor. After Kal answered wrong, and took an extra shot to make it more even, he found out Gordon’s glasses contained green tea instead. The Guinness world record holder was challenged by Gordon to a match of halibut fileting. (It has to be cut into portions of a certain size as well.) Nineteen-year-old Jenna Fabich lost by 9 seconds, and Gordon now holds the title. Katy and Gordon made meatballs over spiralized vegetables, with Katy being given only vocal instructions, as Gordon set up a partition between them. I find her alternately fun and irritating. I was good with her until she ran away from a smoking pan. If there had been a couch in the vicinity, I’m sure she would have jumped on it. I have to mention too, that this show is filmed live, which adds a certain flavor to the atmosphere. No pun intended, but it is an f-word. Next time, it’s Andy Cohen in a cook-off with Gordon, there’s a fishing excursion, and Gordon’s daughter, Tilly, joins him.

🎪 This week, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 2008 – oh, the year my life started going downhill. Britney Spear’s breakdown, and the YouTube guy who yelled “leave her alone!” Octomom, and Bernie Madoff (even Elie Wiesel got taken). Obama (thanks for ruining my life during your administration) and how that ties into Trump (thanks for ruining my life right now, because I can’t win no matter what party is in office). Ironman, Dark Knight, and the more human superheroes. Heath Ledger’s death, the beginnings of The Real Housewives of the OC, and the housing market crash. Kevin Smith commenting on the comics come to life, and the guys from Million Dollar Listing giving insight into the real estate drop. In an amusing moment, while Sarah Palin was being discussed, Andy accidentally called Tina Fey “Tina Palin.” When cultures collide. An interesting bit of Trivia was also handed to Meghan McCain when Andy told her about a cereal named after her father (and a few other political figures), the profits going to kickstart Airbnb. She was like, my father didn’t see a dime, but more power to them. Next time is the season finale. They didn’t give a year, but it looks like the theme is the rich and famous. I’ll be sad when this is over – it’s been a fun look back!

June 9, 2017 – Ava Comes Back from the Brink, Some Ramblings, a Quote Quint & Flowers for You

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Opening the door to Jordan, Aunt Stella says, speak of the devil. Curtis takes the bag from Jordan, and tells Stella that they’re seeing each other.

Hayden comes to Finn’s room. He says she smells like she was hit by a coffee tsunami, and asks what happened. She says she had children.

Julian tells Scotty that he’s not paying him to waste time on a pipe dream. Scotty isn’t so sure about that.

Dante calls Lucy into the interrogation room. He wants to know why she had Morgan’s pills. Sonny and Carly deserve answers.

Just as the doctors are working on Ava, my best freaking friend, George Stephanopoulos, interrupts my viewing pleasure. I hate him. Even more, it’s not like it’s even anything real – they’re discussing one of the President’s tweets. For the love of all that’s holy, go away. I hate all of them. And I’m a bi-partisan hater. What really bites my butt is that the actual message is usually less than five minutes, but then the so-called experts have to weigh in, like I give a flying about what they think. Is insurance actually affordable yet? Let me know when it is.

Rant over. Back to GH. Thanks, ABC, for wasting 25 minutes of my life.

Jordan tells Stella that her husband had the right to know his wife slept with his best friend. She hates herself for it, and says Stella has a right to hate her too.

Dante asks if Lucy switched the pills. She says no, and he asks why she had them. She flashes back to putting them in the safe, away from Scotty. Dante wonders if Ava knew she had them. He says that Lucy knew something was up, but kept quiet. She says she had no idea what was going to happen. Dante says either start talking or he’ll arrest her as an accessory.

Scotty suggests that Julian tell the truth. Olivia-J threatened his family, and made him do the dirty work. Julian says he has to go, and Scotty asks if it’s something with Ava. Julian tells Scotty that she might be dying.

Dante asks Scotty to have a chat with him and Lucy. Scotty asks what Lucy is doing there, and Lucy tells him not to act like he doesn’t know.

As the doctors work on Ava, Griff tells her to fight, saying that her daughter is outside. Her heartbeat comes back. Kiki hugs Dillon. Carly says she’s happy for Kiki, and Sonny says he is too. Griff tells Kiki that Ava is at risk for another cardiac episode. Kiki asks if she’s going to live, and Griff says that they’re doing everything they can. He asks if she needs support, but she says no. Sonny tells her that if she wants to see Avery, just come by, or if she needs anything, ask. Carly says they’re here for her, and Sonny tells Dillon to take care of her. Kiki tells Dillon that she has to go in to see Ava. Dillon says no matter what she did, Ava is still her mom. He says to tell Ava how she feels while she has the chance.

Scotty asks to confer with his client. Lucy says she’s not his client. Dante wants to ask questions, but Scotty points out that he doesn’t have a subpoena. Lucy talks about everything Scotty did to get the pills from her, eventually breaking into her safe. She says he was trying to get Ava off the hook. Dante tells Scotty that he knows the pills were switched, and nice try, but wrong dose.

Curtis tells Jordan not to beat herself up. She goes into the other room, and he asks Stella what good that did for anyone. Stella says losing Thomas broke his mother’s heart, and put her in the grave. Curtis says they’re all just trying to heal, and maybe she should do the same. Stella says she’ll leave that to the two of them; they have no time for remorse or decency. He says he didn’t know she was coming, and didn’t mean for her to find out this way. He loves her, but no one is trying to hurt her. Jordan comes back, saying that they were family. Stella tells her that she destroyed her sister and their family, and she should leave Curtis alone before she destroys him too.

Jordan understands why Stella would think that, but she’s changed, and would never make that mistake again. Curtis says all they’re doing is trying to find happiness, and Stella says nothing about it makes her happy, like she’s a third person in their relationship. She says she’ll get her stuff and be on her way. She’ll reach out to TJ when she calms down. She tells Curtis she’d made her peace with Thomas’s death – until now. Mark her words, until this is over, there will be no peace. Not too dramatic.

Hayden comes out of the shower. Finn has the backgammon board set up. He says it helps him think. She asks if he’s thinking about who’s destroying his career. She says she knows, and tells him to think harder. It’s so obvious, she’s the last person he’d suspect.

Dante tells Scotty about Ava switching the pills. Dante says then Lucy found them, and Ava went to Scotty, but he got the dose wrong. Scotty says he has nothing to say. He’s Ava’s lawyer, and has attorney/client privilege. He tells Lucy that she should be quiet, but she doesn’t care. She says what if this happened to Serina, and she spiraled out of control and they had no idea why. She knows he doesn’t like Sonny and Carly, but it’s wrong. She asks if he’s that heartless.

Julian asks Dillon what happened, and if Ava got to see Kiki while she was conscious. Dillon says no, and Julian says if she comes back for anyone, it will be Kiki. Kiki stands by Ava’s bed. She apologizes for not coming sooner, when Ava was awake and could hear her. She hopes she’s not too late. She doesn’t want Ava to die.

Carly tells Sonny that was rough. He believes that Ava is getting what she deserves, but to see Kiki suffer is awful. Carly says that Kiki is Ava’s victim too, and she can’t stand seeing her go through this. Sonny asks where Ava’s heart was when Morgan spiraled. Carly says part of her wants Ava to go to trial, and Sonny finishes that if she dies it’s okay. Carly says maybe then they could heal.

Kiki says she’s here and won’t let Ava go. She holds Ava’s hand.

Finn tells Hayden that once they pinpointed Brad, he dismissed Obrecht. Hayden says she’s jealous, and had the opportunity and expertise, but Finn says that they don’t know if she was working with Brad or alone. He tells Hayden that he has a better idea than playing detective. I don’t think it’s playing backgammon either.

Curtis asks if Jordan is okay. He says she was harder on herself than Stella was, and she says she says she was thrown off guard in every way. She’d put Stella in the back of her mind, and now she’s been read the laundry list of her life so loud, she can’t ignore it. Curtis hopes she’s not thinking of backing out.

Scotty tells Lucy that nothing they say or do will change anything. They set nothing in motion, and it’s all hearsay and speculation. Dante says he’ll find out where Scotty got the lithium, and that it’s far from not setting anything in motion. He switched the pills back for Ava, and his hands are dirty. Dante says that he’ll build a case against Ava, and Scotty too.

Julian wonders if it’s divine justice. Dillon asks if he’s saying that Ava deserves it. Julian says he thought there was a chance to turn his life around. His lawyer told him to blame his sister, and what if he gets acquitted? Is that the tradeoff; he’s free and his sister dies?

Kiki says that she hates what Ava did to Morgan. She says she told Ava that she’d lose her forever, but she doesn’t want that. She still loves her mother, and doesn’t want her to die.

Carly tells Sonny that through all the chaos, she had one quiet thought – this is where it ends. All the hurt, hostility, and wounds they’ve inflicted will vanish when Ava does. It was all grief, and they didn’t know how to deal with the pain and loss. She feels like if Ava dies, they’ll have justice for Morgan. Maybe not comfort, but peace. Sonny asks if she means peace for them. She says maybe they can start to heal, and kisses him.

On Monday, Stella talks to TJ, Kiki tells Ava to make up her mind, and Dillon punches out Scotty.

Pondering…

🍑 Real Housewives of Atlanta revelation. I finally realize why Porsha’s parents spelled her name the way they did, rather than the traditional Portia. The only way they could get her to spell it correctly was to spell it phonetically.

🐙 Driving me crazy – or is it just a short putt? Gordon Ramsay is the king of this, but I’ve heard it on other shows too. This is the worst <insert main theme of program here> in the history of <insert program title>. For example, this is the worst meal I’ve ever eaten in the history of MasterChef. Gordon has also had way too many worst meals of his “entire life.” It becomes somewhat amusing though, when the show has only had one season under its belt, making a pretty short “history.”

Quotes of the Week

You can start late. Look different. Be uncertain. And still succeed.  – Misty Copeland (Thank God. I was worried about that.)

I think we’re slow to change…There is a racism that exists and will always exist. If it’s not Black people, it’s another so-called minority. I think human beings have to feel that there’s someone beneath them and they don’t realize it’s because they have such little regard for themselves they feel that way.Dustin Hoffman, Yorkshire Evening Post

You remember the Imitation says, ‘Bear your cross, for if you try to get rid of it you will probably find another and worse one.’C. S. Lewis referring to The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis

God didn’t save your ass from drowning just to leave you die on the beach. ** I dunno. He was pretty tough on his own kid.  – Marjorie (Mimi Kennedy) & Christy (Anna Faris), respectively, on Mom

You live by the meme, you die by the meme.NY Post referring to Kathy Griffin

🌷 To send you on your weekend…

PsychedelicFlowers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 7, 2017 – Nina Says Good-by, Ramona Spontaneously Combusts, 1981 & Lotsa Food

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan visits Curtis with a cupcake that has a candle in it. She remembered it was his birthday, and brought his favorite, red velvet. She tells him make a wish, and he says it already came true.

Finn and Hayden talk about the upcoming baby and his drug test. Obrecht overhears.

Elizabeth’s house is being fumigated from the class guinea pig’s visit. Cameran is miffed that he has to go to work with her.

Spencer says he’s still on French time, but Laura tells him to get his intercontinental butt in gear. He says now that Valentin is in custody, he can be in Port Charles permanently, instead of in exile.

Valentin asks Dante and Lulu how Charlotte is. Lulu told her that he’s away on business and there’s a time difference, so they couldn’t call right now, and it seemed to satisfy her. She says she wants what best for Charlotte, and Dante says that’s why they’re here. Valentin is going to prison, and they have to figure out what’s going to happen with her.

Anna thinks about what Valentin said about her own transgressions.

Finn tells Hayden that he’s not taking a backseat to prenatal visits just because he might be reinstated. She wonders why he seems skeptical about reinstatement. He says someone is tampering with his drug screens, but what if it’s not Brad? Hayden tells him good things are coming. She makes him say it, and they kiss.

Elizabeth tells Cameran he needs to do his summer reading. He takes out a comic book, and she’s like, no. Hayden comes to the desk. Elizabeth fills her in as to why Cameran is there, and Hayden says she has the day off, and can take Cameran for the day. She says it will be good practice. Elizabeth asks for what, and Hayden gets vague, talking about someday.

Spencer tells Laura that he knows his father isn’t coming back, but Laura is there, and Alexis. She says they’ve all missed him, but she put him in the school for his safety. Valentin being arrested is a good start, but she wants to know the charges will stick. Spencer talks about Anna being fearless and resourceful.

Mac sees Anna in the park. He says Robert thinks Valentin’s extradition will be hard on her. She says that Robert should mind his own business. It’s her job, but she thinks it has little to do with justice.

Nathan asks Nina how she is, and she says how do you think? To him Valentin is a fugitive; to her he’s her husband and he loves Charlotte. She says they could have gotten away if it wasn’t for her.

Lulu says Charlotte needs to be with her mother. He says she’ll be fine with Nina. Lulu tells him that Nina is the one who turned him in. Because she’s a selfish twit.

Jordan says she has to go to work. Curtis says he only gets one birthday, but she says it will still be his birthday when she gets off. He says it sounds like she has something planned, but he’d be happy to just be with her. She says he already has her, he doesn’t need to game her. He says it’s how he feels, and that every day with her is a gift. She says maybe she could push back some things to the afternoon. They get busy, and Curtis says, happy birthday to me.

Elizabeth agrees to Hayden taking Cameran for the afternoon. Laura arrives with Spencer. He says he moved back home, but Laura says they’re discussing it. He bluffed his way out of boarding school and turned up on her doorstep. Hayden tells him she’s sorry his dad is gone, and makes him promise that they’ll catch up. Elizabeth says that she doesn’t have to take Cameran. Cameran tells Spencer that he just missed Emma, and that they hung out. Laura says that today, Spencer is going to wait quietly while she goes to her meeting. He asks Hayden to save him, and she suggests he come with her and Cameran.

Anna says that Valentin isn’t innocent, but not as guilty as the bureau maintains. Max says she blames Alex. She says so far, Alex is refusing to cooperate, but it will change now that Valentin has been apprehended. She wonders if Alex will pin it all on him.

Nathan tells Nina that Valentin has committed so many crimes, they can’t even try him in the US. It has to go to the ICC. She tells him to stop acting like it’s black and white for her. Years ago, he had a weapon that he sold to Helena and it was horrible, but he also saved her life and got shot because of it. He fell in love with her and made her happier than she’s ever been. He made her part of a family, and it was real. She says she doesn’t know if she can turn her back on him.

Valentin tells Lulu that Nina was acting in Charlotte’s best interest, and will continue to do so as her stepmother. Lulu says she should have been in court this morning then, and he says they didn’t waste time. She asks him to help work through the transition to minimize Charlotte’s confusion and fear. Like it or not, they both have to be her parents right now.

Griff talks to Finn about Ava. He says his real concern is infection, and he needs Finn’s expertise. Obrecht says unless he can’t provide it.

Elizabeth calls Hayden. She’s at Perks with the boys, and she says she’s got this. They order drinks, and she asks if they’re allowed all that caffeine and sugar.

Lulu tells Valentin that Charlotte needs continuity. They need him to tell Charlotte that he wants her to stay with them. They need to make her understand, and it will be hard, but worse if he’s not in their corner. Valentin says he’ll do it on one condition – no one tells her why he’s there. He’ll choose the reason and tell her himself, and they’ll back him up. Lulu agrees. She says it’s really what’s best. Dante says they’ll be in touch.

Max asks if Anna is okay with testifying. She says Alex had no problem keeping her in a drug induced coma and impersonating her. He says what about Valentin? Is she going to be able to take the stand against him?

Valentin has a visitor. It’s Nina. He smiles at her.

Curtis says thanks for his dessert. Jordan says he barely touched it, and he says that he was satisfied with other desert. She leaves for work and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Curtis’s Aunt Stella. She asks if he always answers the door in his altogether, and when was the last time he cleaned. He asks if she’s okay. She says she came to surprise him on his birthday, and asks if it’s a problem. He says no, and tells her to have a seat. He asks if she wants anything, and she says to know what’s going on in his life.

Nathan tells Jordan that Valentin is behaving himself. Nina asks Valentin about his wound, and he says it’s healing. She says he must know they wouldn’t have found him if not for her. He asks if she’s apologizing. She says she didn’t think it would be good for Charlotte to be a fugitive. She thinks he knows that oo, and panicked, which isn’t his style. He says it wasn’t his best plan, but for the record, he was going to send for her. Nina says she’d be a fugitive too. He says they could have continued as a family, and would have been happy. Nina says now they’ll never know.

Anna tells Mac that she doesn’t have much to offer. It would just be her word against his. She can say he took the Chimera from the ballroom with the intention to destroy it, but surrendered it to her. She says she’ll be 100% honest, but any case they have rests with Alex.

Obrecht tells Griff that Finn is suspended and can’t do a consultation, but Griff says no one else is as experienced. Obrecht suggests that Finn’s judgement might be clouded by drugs. Griff asks Finn if he’s under the influence, and when Finn says no, he says it’s good enough for him. Obrecht asks if it will be good enough for Ava if Finn’s faculties are impaired. Griff says it’s just a consult; he’s not treating anyone. As they leave, Obrecht says nor will he be.

Hayden suggests the museum. Spencer likes it, but Cameran would rather go to the park and play soccer. Spencer says he knew it would be too intellectually challenging for Cameran, but they can go and Cameran can find a soccer game. Maybe someone will pick him up like the stray that he is. Cameran tells Spencer that no one missed him, adding that he kissed Emma and she loved it. Spencer throws whipped cream at him.

Laura tells Elizabeth that the meeting canceled. She says she could get Spencer, but Elizabeth tells her to do something for herself. Laura likes the sound of that, but her phone rings. It’s Hayden asking for help. Spencer and Cameran are going wild, throwing things, especially frothy things, all over the place.

Laura arrives at Perks she says that’s enough in her angry grandma voice. She tells the boys that they both know better than this. Cameran says Spencer started it, and Spencer says he was trying to protect himself. Laura tells them to clean up everything. She asks Hayden what happened. Hayden says they had caffeine and sugar and went crazy. She’s pregnant and what kind of mother is she going to be? She starts crying, and Laura hugs her

Finn asks to talk to Obrecht. He says he accepts she doesn’t like him, but doesn’t know why she’d want Ava to suffer. They don’t have to be friends, but just good doctors. He asks her to put her hate for him aside for long enough to do right by the patient.

Curtis tells Stella he’s still doing PI stuff, and really likes Port Charles. He offers to show her around, but she says she doesn’t want to be any trouble. She asks if he’s seeing anyone. He says he’s always seeing someone, and she asks if it’s someone she should meet. He starts talking about the hotel, and she says she can stay with him.

Robert calls Anna. She asks if his ears were burning, and then says, what? when?

Dante wonders if they should pull Charlotte and Rocco out of school for the day. Lulu says she’s worried about how Charlotte is going to handle the news. Dante says she has an extensive support system. Lulu says none of them are her father, and she’s going to find out the truth. She asks when it comes out, what if she blames Lulu? Because all Lulu ever thinks about is herself.

Valentin talks about how Nina turned him in once before, and that she made the right decision, but her eyes betrayed her. He knew he’d see her again. Now he loves her, and can’t imagine life without her. She says it was different last time, and part of her knew he’d come back. This time, he won’t. Even if he beats the charges, he won’t come back to her. He says he loves her. He has a past, and it’s over. Nina says so is the part with her and gives him divorce papers. Argh! My heart!

Stella asks Curtis if she’ll be in his way, and he says no; he’ll crash on the couch. She says she’ll cook, but he says his cupboards are bare. She says they’ll go shopping. He asks how long she’s staying, and she tells him long enough to celebrate his birthday and see TJ. As long as she doesn’t cross paths with his mother, she’ll be fine. Gulp.

Jordan is having something delivered for Curtis’s birthday. Nathan has the transfer information for Valentin, and they go to her office.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s not asking for anything except her freedom. Valentin says what if he doesn’t want to be free from her?

Laura tells Hayden that they don’t pop out like this. By the time they’re at this stage, you’ve learned to wrangle them. She says congratulations, and tells Hayden that she can do this. Hayden asks her not to tell Elizabeth, and Laura agrees to keep it between them.

Griff asks for a word with Finn. Finn asks how soon he can see patients. Griff tells him that the test was positive for opioids, and they have no reason to question the results, since he hasn’t noticed the venomous hate pulsating from Obrecht. Finn says, so he’s suspended.

Nina tells Valentin that she can’t be married to a man in prison, and can’t be step mother to a girl she loves who lives with another family. She says it was gorgeous and beautiful, but it’s over. He asks her not to do this. She says it’s one less thing for him to worry about and leaves. Outside, she leans on the door.

Mac asks Anna if it’s bad news, and she says it depends on your point of view. Alex escaped, and the WSB doesn’t know where she is.

Another visitor comes for Valentin. He says, of course it’s you.

Curtis argues with Stella about Jordan, Michael wants Ava to pay, and Carly asks why Nelle would do anything to help them.

The Real Housewives of New York City

When we last left the Wives, Ramona kept repeating, “Are you kidding me?” twenty-thousand times, after Bethenny told her she hadn’t been a good friend.

Ramona says, “wow,” a few times too. She talks about when Bethenny was sick and she visited. Bethenny informs her that those are crisis moments, and most people rise to the occasion. Ramona says Bethenny has never been there for her the same way. Bethenny brings up some of the idiotic, nasty things Ramona has done, including stealing dresses from her. In a major deflective move, Ramona says Bethenny was topless, had sex in a water bed, and kissed another woman in a film. Bethenny tells her to mention it all, and Ramona says she went out with men for the money. In her interview, Bethenny says she can’t even screw her way to the middle, let alone to the top. Ramona says that Bethenny pretends to be a successful woman, but her brand is done, and Ramona is on top. Bethenny suggests she look at the numbers. In her interview, Ramona says she wants to hurt Bethenny because Bethenny is hurting her. She says Bethenny has always been paid for, while she is a self-made woman. I wonder how much alimony she’s getting. Ramona starts crying about her marriage. Bethenny tells her that she doesn’t see herself, and Ramona calls her an opportunist and user. She says Bethenny is broken, and she feels sorry for her. Ramona says that she loves people, but Bethenny attacked her, so she’s attacking back. Bethenny says she did nothing of the sort, but the truth came out, and Ramona calls her Bethenny the bitchy witch because Ramona has the insult capability of a five-year-old. Bethenny says it figures nobody else was there, and no one will understand what just happened.

Ramona complains to Dorinda about Bethenny. Sonja says she told Ramona to leave Bethenny alone. Ramona tells her own version of the story, which is very different from what we just saw. Bethenny talks to Carole, saying that it defies description, and every jealous thing Ramona has been storing up, came out. In her interview, Sonja says she’s not giving what Ramona says much credence. Ramona claims that Bethenny had sex for money. Dorinda comes to Bethenny’s room, and Bethenny says she’s leaving. Ramona continues to spin everything that Bethenny has ever done. Dorinda says every time Bethenny comes there, it’s a nightmare for her, and she wishes Ramona was the one leaving. Carole says she’ll go back to the city with her. Ramona calls her a loser, saying that Bethenny is just using her. As Bethenny is leaving, Ramona says, you started it (omg, she really is five), and Bethenny says as long as she’s happy with herself. Bethenny tells Ramona that she got her way, and they’ll never speak again. Ramona asks why she’s such a vicious bitch, and Bethenny tells her, that’s why. Ramona insists she was just trying to apologize, doesn’t get what’s wrong with Bethenny, and babbles about how they’ll get over it. Bethenny says she’s never coming back here again.

Feeling better, Tinsley comes downstairs, and is like, wow. Dorinda asks if she was there for the whole thing, but she says she couldn’t, and asks what happened. Dorinda says she didn’t expect such a tremendous argument, but there’s always next year. She talks about coming down to get water at 2 am, and finding Sonja sleeping sitting up at the dining room table. She nearly freaked out, thinking Sonja had died from a heart attack. We all start laughing, as Dorinda paints a picture of her waking Sonja in a panic.

Ramona’s phone rings. In her interview, she says she knows she drank too much and had a loose tongue, but doesn’t remember what she said. However, when she talks to the other women, Ramona makes something else up, including that she’d been defending Dorinda. We flash back to when Ramona criticized Dorinda about John. In her interview, Dorinda says Ramona is trying to backtrack. The Countess LuAnn appears, and says she’s there to make eggs a la Française, which is the cure-all for everything. In her interview, Dorinda tells us that Sonja decided to wear a beautiful pair of pajamas her late husband had given her – that were in a zipped bag in the closet. Doesn’t Sonja have her own loungewear? They are really nice.

Ramona talks to herself about Bethenny as she packs. Seriously, there is something wrong with this woman. Dorinda bids good-by to Luann, and says another one down. Sonja jumps on Tinsley’s bed, and tells her that she’s decided to invade Tinsley’s space. Tinsley says she knows she’s living at Sonja’s, but it’s unfair to make her uncomfortable. She thinks Sonja blew the Conner thing out of proportion. Sonja thinks she’s been easy-going, yet reminds Tinsley again that she can’t use Conner. Tinsley says she’s got it. In her interview, Dorinda says she loves to see them coming, and loves to see the going. Finally, everyone is out.

Back at Dorinda’s apartment on the UES, Dorinda unpacks. She says Ramona trashed her room in the Berkshires, pulling light fixtures off the wall. We see a picture, and I think, who does that? I’m sure I’ve been as drunk as you can get, and I have never once pulled anyone’s light fixtures off the wall. Dorinda says the house in the Berkshires is her home and a legacy, and enough has been taken from her. I’d have Ramona freaking arrested. Dorinda says that Ramona never even said a word. She wonders if Ramona treats all of her friends like this. I’d change Ramona’s tagline to, If you like me, you must have no taste. I also have to mention that her pupils are HUGE. Just sayin’.

Tinsley visits Carole. Carole wonders how Tinsley can still be living at Sonja’s, and is going to show her an apartment in the building. In her interview, Carole says she wants to take Tinsley under her wing a bit. Tinsley says she doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. Carole shows her the apartment along with the owner. It’s gorgeous, no surprise, and also huge. And $7,100 a month. They go back to Carole’s, where Adam is creating a salad for lunch. Carole talks about an art gallery opening, and they discuss the building and the area. Tinsley is concerned about being too far from where she gets her blow-out. Carole wonders if she really wants a change, or does she want to repeat her past life? Adam takes blog pics of them eating the salad. If I could afford it, I’d move in there in a heartbeat. Or a New York minute as it were.

Bethenny and her assistant go over her schedule. Bethenny is feeling overloaded. She finds a dead moth in the closet that she spent ten grand to de-mothify. Her assistant looks up the moth on the internet.

Dorinda meets Jill Zarin and her husband, Bobby, at a restaurant. Dorinda and her late husband had been friends with them. Jill talks about having a luncheon way back when, and we see an old clip with Dorinda in it. Luann arrives with Tom in tow.  The Zarins have been invited to the wedding. Dorinda talks about the fight in the Berkshires. Luann adds that Ramona had been swilling pinot, and brings up Ramona’s interest in Tom’s behavior. Tom says Ramona has made it her mission to dig up dirt on him. Luann says that they don’t let gossip interfere with their relationship. Jill talks about when Ramona blew off her party to do something else, and we see some old clips of altercations between the two of them. Tom says he doesn’t care so much, but feels badly for Luann. Jill says that Ramona’s life is such a mess, she wants everyone else’s to be a mess. She’s lonely, so she wants everyone else to be. Dorinda thinks Ramona isn’t unhappy, but going through something. Like what? Menopause? Jill gets nosy about who was invited to the wedding.

Carole arrives at the gallery opening. She is the subject of many a painting, being the nude muse for the artist. Carole greets Dorinda. They discuss the fight, and Carole thinks both Ramona and Bethenny are coming. Dorinda is about to say something important, when Tinsley interrupts. Dorinda tells them that her house was destroyed, and Ramona’s room was a disaster area. Bethenny joins them, wondering if the topless paintings will bother anyone. Dorinda says the room was trashed. She thinks that somehow Ramona feels betrayed. Bethenny says unless she the one who had sex with Mario, she shouldn’t be treated that way.

Ramona makes a grand entrance. Bethenny heads in the other direction. Dorinda talks about how lovely Carole’s natural boobs are. Ramona acts like an over-enthused jerk about her own anatomy, and I’d be embarrassed to be seen with her. Dorinda tells her that her room was a disaster, and it made her feel depressed. Ramona ignores her, and goes on about something else. Dorinda says if she was a bitch, she’d sue Ramona. Do it! Carole’s dentist arrives, and she introduces him to Tinsley because he’s single.

Sonja blows in. Bethenny greets her, and she asks if Bethenny has put the Berkshires behind her. Bethenny says everything Ramona ever did flashed before her eyes, and now she gets how Ramona feels about her. She says she hit the jack pot, and she never saw someone so jealous about it. She tells Sonja that you can’t be a friend with someone who has a rifle pointed at you. Ramona horns into the conversation, saying hello to Sonja, and Bethenny says ttyl. Sonja starts to reprimand Ramona, but Ramona interrupts, reminding her of last season when Bethenny said she was never talking to Sonja again. She calls Bethenny judgmental, and says she has two sets of rules, and she’s sick of it. I know people who are like that, but I don’t think Bethenny is one of them. Sonja says Ramona messed up, but in typical fashion, can never admit she’s wrong.

Dorinda and Carole discuss the paintings.

Tom and Luann head out to Palm Beach. In her interview, Luann says she’s happy, excited, and nervous; it’s overwhelming and fabulous at the same time. She says they’ve been through hell, but they got through it. They discuss some details in the car. She thinks they shouldn’t be together the night before. Ooh, it’s a private helicopter. Luann says she got the glass slipper and that’s why they’re all pissed off.

This season, sun and fun, snow and fun, Carole sets up Tinsley, Harry makes an appearance, suckerfish Jason Hoppy gets arrested for stalking, a party in Mexico, Bethenny and Ramona tangle some more, and Tinsley and Sonja rumble. Sonja says, welcome to her friend group, like they’re toddlers, which is appropriate.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1981 – one of my favorite years! Morgan Fairchild was on the cover of every magazine; Tori Spelling got her first job on Vegas – her one line being “Hi, Uncle Dan.” Dynasty was the big TV show, and also bred shoulder pads. They were in every garment too. Since I’m built like a small football player, I was constantly removing them. The connection to today’s obsession with rich reality TV families, like the Kardashians and the Real Housewives was discussed. Ronald Reagan became POTUS, and was also shot, telling Nancy that he forgot to duck. MTV was born, with Video Killed the Radio Star being its first effort. Bevy Smith commented that it looked like something from a puppet theater, which made me laugh. Truth! The B52s were also interviewed. Fred Schneider is friends with someone I know, and we’ve crossed paths occasionally. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to get a chance to sing Love Shack with him at karaoke.

The Royal Wedding happened, and even I got up before the crack of dawn to watch. It was commented that, although beautiful, Diana’s dress looked heavy and miserable, and that the marriage went much the same way. Lisa Vanderpump also married Ken Todd that year, and used the same dress designer. I think I actually like her dress better. Less poufy. We also now know where Andy keeps his stash – in a Charles and Diana commemorative tea tin. General Hospital‘s Luke and Laura were also wed. I was there too, albeit through my VCR. It was talked about how today, protests would be had and tweets would be sent over the storyline of a rapist marrying their victim. Mommie Dearest was a top film, and also the basis for RuPaul’s Drag Race persona. We also met the first child conceived by IVF, who talked about being trotted out at every life milestone to prove she was still “normal.”

Next time, 2008, Britney Spear’s downfall, Bernie Madoff, and the Octomom.

🍳 MasterChef was still passing out white aprons, the last one going to a cowboy cook. The loser said he was going home proud, as he should be, and that he lost fair and square to a guy with a good cupcake.

🍴 On The f Word, James Corden, funny as usual, competed with Gordon in a cookoff and lost. He commented on how different Gordon was on this show, saying he thought he was always grumpy in the kitchen. The Cooking Cubans faced School Pride in the restaurant challenge, School Pride winning with the most succulent Southern-style pork chop ever. Gordon also fed some NASCAR drivers, and did a spin around the track of his own. Next time, Katy Perry is up against Gordon, and there’s scuba diving for dinner.

 

May 31, 2017 – Nina Has a Realization, Bethenny Breaks Down, a Little Scandal & Gordon is Everywhere

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan and Curtis bask in the afterglow. He tells her that he never thought it would happen, and she says she had to make him work for it a little. She adds that she had a fear of “us.”

Nathan talks to Anna. She tells him the Chimera canister has been destroyed under her personal supervision.

Nina stands by Valentin’s hospital bed. She tells him he’s going in for surgery. He saved her life, and got shot for it. Valentin asks her to promise to remember that no matter what, he loves her. She asks what he means by “no matter what.”

Anna tells Laura that it’s a complex situation. Lulu asks if anyone was hurt, and Anna tells them that Valentin was shot and is in surgery.

Kiki leaves a voicemail for Ava, because she has no clue what’s going on yet. Dillon brings fresh coffee to the hospital for her. She thanks him, saying tonight is going to be a long one. There’s a patient in the burn unit who needs extra staff, so she has to help pick up the slack elsewhere.

At the station, Dante tells Sonny and Carly that Ava is in critical condition. Sonny says they gave their statement, and Carly says they have nothing to hide. Dante asks why they were in the warehouse. Sonny says they were confronting Ava about what she did to Morgan. Carly tells Dante that Ava drove him to his death by replacing his lithium with placebos.

Nina tells Valentin he’s going to be okay. She says he loved her enough to sing to her in front of everyone. She tells him that he needs to be okay; she and Charlotte are depending on him. He wants her to check on Charlotte, and she says when she comes back, he’s going to be awake and fine, or he’ll never hear the end of it.

Anna explains everything to Laura and Lulu about how Valentin sold the Chimera to Helena. Laura says the only thing she ever believed about Valentin was that he loathed Helena. Anna says he needed the money, and Valentin thought Helena died without using it, but she’d programmed Jake. She asks if she can leave Emma for the night; she has some things to finish. Lulu asks what she should tell Charlotte. Anna says she’ll check at the hospital and text her. Laura asks what about Valentin’s involvement? Anna says to tell Charlotte that her father was very brave; it’s too soon to say anything else.

Nina runs into Nathan and thanks him. He says he has to talk to her about Valentin. There’s a lot she doesn’t know about his involvement in the Chimera Project. She says they’ll have to talk later; she has to check on Charlotte. In all the excitement, I forgot to mention that Nina is wearing the most beautiful purple sequined ballgown with a mermaid hem. It’s like something out of an Estée Lauder or Lancôme commercial.

Jordan tells Curtis that he exceeded her expectations. He’s a bedroom god and has ruined her for all other men. She says she feels blessed and grateful. Curtis says just wait. He’s going to render her speechless.

Kiki asks if Dillon thought her mother was acting strangely, and he says yes. If it was anyone else, he would have thought she was just being a mom. Kiki says she seemed intense, but distracted.

Dante asks if Sonny and Carly have proof of Ava’s involvement in Morgan’s death. Carly says Ava admitted it. Dante asks what they found at the warehouse. Carly says it was dark, but they eventually came across Ava with a kerosene lamp. Dante asks if that’s how the fire started, and Sonny says it started when she threw the lamp at Carly. Well, that’s not exactly what she did, or she has seriously bad aim.

Curtis asks what Jordan wants to do about dinner, and she can’t believe he’s thinking about food. Not for long. They start getting busy again.

Nathan says he guesses this is the classified business Anna had with Alex at the airport. Anna explains about their falling out, and how her sister impersonated her. She says in Helena’s last act, she was almost successful in programming Jake, but in the end, it was Valentin who got the Chimera back to her.

Laura tells Lulu not to judge herself. If Valentin drops off the face of the earth, it would solve her problems, and her brother’s murderer would get what’s coming to him. If he doesn’t pull through, she has nothing to feel guilty about. Lulu says Charlotte adores him, and she doesn’t want her to go through that kind of pain. The doorbell rings. It’s Nina.

Carly repeats that Ava admitted she switched the pills to keep Morgan away from Kiki. Dante is skeptical. Carly says if her plan had worked, Morgan would be over-medicated in Freedman, but still alive. Sonny says Ava’s miserable life wouldn’t have been worth the trouble of him killing her. Dante is still doubtful of them going there just to discuss things. Carly calls Ava a coward, telling Dante that Ava threw the lamp after she called Ava out.

Kiki tells Dillon that Ava thinks she’ll have more access to Avery if Carly is divorced from Sonny. She says she can’t get drawn in again. Epiphany comes out, and tells Kiki that she has bad news.

Nina asks about Charlotte, and Lulu says she’s sleeping like an angel, inviting Nina in. Laura says they heard Valentin was shot. Nina says she knows he’s not her favorite person, but he was a hero. Lulu says she doesn’t know. Laura says everything that happened was set into motion by Valentin.

Anna tells Nathan what happened, and how she and Valentin argued over the Chimera. She says in the midst of it, they got a call from Nina. While Valentin went to outwit, outplay and outlast Nina’s abductors, she went to get the Chimera annihilated. Now, it’s no longer a threat to anyone.

Curtis tells Jordan to never stop challenging him, and Jordan says he’s worth the trouble. They’re about to kiss, and Jordan’s phone rings. She says it’s Anna. He says what has Anna done except get her in trouble, but Jordan says that Anna is the one who told her to go for it with him. She has to go to work, and tells him that it’s a classified event. Curtis says he hates letting her go, but knows it can’t wait. She promises to make it up to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Ava used the distraction of Carly falling to pull out her gun and accuse him of Morgan’s death. Carly says by the time the fire spread, they were on opposite sides of it. Sonny says there was a back door, and Dante asks why she didn’t use it. Carly says they were trying to find their own way out, and weren’t thinking about Ava’s escape route.

Epiphany tells Kiki that the burn patient is her mother.

Curtis puts the empty room service tray in the hallway. Grace walks by. She’s there for an interview, and asks what he’s doing in a hotel, and if the room service is that good. He says he didn’t dine alone. Grace asks if he wants to grab a drink.

Anna tells Jordan that the weapon has been neutralized. Jordan asks how it got there, and Anna explains about Helena programming Jake. She says that Jordan needs to know that Valentin sold it to Helena after her sister got him to steal it for her.

Laura tells Nina that Valentin stole the biotoxin years ago and sold it to Helena. Nina says he hated Helena, but Laura says he was a fugitive and needed the money for surgeries. Nina says it was decades ago. Lulu tells her that Helena literally programmed Jake to use it. Since Charlotte and Emma were next to him, they would have been the first to be exposed.

Kiki asks Epiphany how bad Ava is, but she’s still being evaluated. Kiki wants to see her, but Epiphany says she can’t. Dillon asks if they know anything, and Epiphany says she has burns over 50% of her body. Kiki asks if she’s saying Ava could die

Carly tells Dante that the warehouse is like a maze, and it’s amazing (I don’t think pun intended, but she used that word) that they found their way out. She says they called 911 immediately when they got outside. Sonny says that Ava started the fire and trapped herself.

Curtis tells Grace he’ll take a pass. He doesn’t want to mess things up. Grace says she must be something else, and she’s happy for him. He says no, she’s not, and she says to wish her luck; they might end up being neighbors.

Jordan asks about Anna’s health, and Anna says Alex arranged for her to be treated. She’s back now, and the Chimera is destroyed. Other than Valentin, no one was hurt. Nathan tells them that the surgery is over. I can’t help thinking there’s still something up with this Chimera business. The fact that it’s not a threat anymore has been repeated a million times. Usually, that means something is still a threat.

Nina tells Laura and Lulu that Anna’s version of the truth isn’t the truth, because they know how it is where Valentin is concerned. Lulu says that Anna did claim there were mitigating circumstances, but Laura says that if Valentin hadn’t sold it in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened. Nina remembers Valentin telling her that she transformed him, and he had been a bad man. She says omg, it was him. I’m saying, omg, how about Anna’s involvement and being a double-agent? I guess we’re bypassing that.

Dante tells Sonny and Carly they’re free to go. After he’s out of the room, Carly tells Sonny that maybe they shouldn’t have talked without Diane. Sonny says the evidence backs them up. They’ll figure out that Ava did it to herself. He tells Carly not to waste her compassion. I guess like most husbands, he wasn’t really listening, since she was only being concerned about the two of them.

Epiphany tells Kiki that Ava is getting the best care. Kiki asks her to tell Ava that she loves her. Kiki asks Dillon how this could have happened. Dante comes by, and Dillon asks him how this happened. Dante explains that Ava had a confrontation with Sonny and Carly. Kiki asks if it was about Avery, but Dante says it was about her involvement in Morgan’s death.

Carly says last thing she feels is compassion. Sonny talks about Morgan thinking his own mind had turned against him. He says Ava doesn’t have a clue, and he doesn’t care that she’s going through this hell. Carly says she doesn’t want to let this go, and what do they do if she lives? Sonny says hope she gets caught, tried, and put away. Carly says it won’t bring Morgan back, but Sonny tells her that they have no more questions. They finally know why he died. Carly thought it would lessen the grief, and says she needs to go. She has to figure out what to tell Josslyn. Sonny says at least Avery is too young. Carly tells him to give her a hug and take care of himself.

Kiki says Ava had nothing to do with the bomb. Dante says he’s sure she must have noticed Morgan’s behavior, and it was because he wasn’t getting his lithium. He explains about Ava replacing the pills. Kiki doesn’t want to believe it, but Dante says she admitted it to Carly and Sonny. Kiki says omg, and starts crying. Dillon comforts her. I hope she doesn’t get stupid again, and let this come between them.

Nina says that Valentin never told her about the Chimera, but there was something about his past that he regretted. Lulu says not enough to warn somebody. He left it out there like a ticking bomb for it to be used against their children. Nina asks her not to tell Charlotte. Lulu says she didn’t want it to go down like this. Nina gathers up the bottom of her fabulous dress, and says she’ll talk to them later.

Anna enters Valentin’s room. He asks about Charlotte, and Anna says she’s fine and at Lulu’s. He asks about Nina, but she doesn’t know. She says the bullet passed his vital organs, and he’s lucky. He says he doesn’t feel lucky, and asks about the Chimera. Anna tells him that she personally supervised its destruction. She says the WSB has Alex in custody. She’s going to tell them that he stole it, and he’ll be charged with treason, among other crimes, and will probably be put away for rest of his life. She takes his hand and he makes the Saddest. Face. Ever.

Tomorrow, Diane tells Alexis she’s a lawyer again, Michael wants to take care of Nelle, And Julian gets the news about Ava.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Idiot, and/or liar, Luann tells Dorinda that she trusts Tom 100%. She says Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends to get dirt on him. Ramona appears, and Dorinda tries to tell her what they were talking about, but Luann talks over her about happiness with Tom and blah-blah-blah. Ramona says if she was getting married in two weeks, she’d want to know if he hasn’t changed. Luann says she still texts with Jacques, and she’s not changing a guy of that age. Ramona says he’s still kissing other women, but Luann insists he’s with her 24/7. Ramona asks why she’s lying.

Magically, Bethenny and Carole have joined them. Bethenny says they just want to make sure it’s all good. Ramona wants Luann to admit that Tom’s philandering hasn’t stopped. Luann says he has female friends, but Ramona says he takes them out to dinner, and pushes himself on them. Bethenny says cracks become craters, and brings up how he was making out with someone before the engagement party. Luann says it was a year ago, but it’s only been six months. Ramona says they just want to make sure she doesn’t find something out later that will devastate her. She says she was the last to know, and it was terrible. She adds that it is what it is.

Bethenny says Carole was concerned that Luann was having second thoughts. We flash back to Carole’s conversation with Barbara. In her interview, Carole says she thinks Luann knows what she’s doing and what she’s getting. Luann tells the women that they’re confident in who they are and what they’re doing. She says they’re happy, and talks about their lifestyle. Bethenny quietly tells Tinsley that she thinks Luann is looking at Palm Beach and parties rather than marriage. Luann says there’s no question in her mind, and there shouldn’t be in anyone else’s. Dorinda says it’s time to put it to bed now. Somehow, all of the women have ended up in the conversation circle at this point.

Sonja tells Luann that there’s always someone who’s jealous and wants to ruin it for you. In her interview, Sonja says she’s already on thin ice with Luann and Tom, so she’s not saying anything. Carole says they’ve said all they can say. Bethenny tells a few of the women that it’s the trick guy syndrome – he wasn’t hot or popular in high school, then gets money and goes crazy; they’re like sleeper cells.

Bethenny has doubts that Luann doesn’t have doubts. She says they could say he murdered someone, and she’d be okay with it. Carole asks Tinsley if she listened to anyone, and she says no. In her interview, she says it took a great fall for her to realize. Sonja feels badly, but says they need to stay out of it. Carole wonders why all these women want him, and Bethenny says his d*ck shoots diamonds. Must be, because I can’t figure it out either.

Ramona insists to Sonja that Bethenny is engaging with her, but Sonja thinks Bethenny is ignoring her. Ramona tells Sonja that she and Bethenny have always had a shallow great relationship, and she understands what topics are off-limits now. She made a mistake, but it wasn’t out of maliciousness, and she wants to address it at some point. Sonja approves.

Dorinda has little stockings with candy canes in them at each place setting. Bethenny asks Tinsley how she’s liking this crew. Tinsley says that she and Sonja have had differences lately, but Bethenny says that will happen when you live together. Tinsley tells her that Sonja has a tendency to talk down to her.

The ladies decide to start up one of the fireplaces. Carole claims to know what she’s doing. In her interview, she says her fire was on point, but she thinks she burned some doorstoppers. Luann joins them. Bethenny congratulates her, and she sends a congrats back for the divorce. Bethenny says it’s almost over, and apologizes for the altercation she and Luann had same place last year. Dorinda comes in, and tells them the fireplace doesn’t work. Yep. The room is full of smoke. So much for Carole’s Girl Scouting abilities, although she claims no responsibility for a broken flue. Well, she might have asked if it was okay first. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s like taking care of toddlers.

Tinsley talks about wanting a relationship with someone older than thirty. Luann says you have to go with your gut. Bethenny says that’s what got her in the toilet bowl, but Luann says she does have her daughter. Bethenny says she never would have imagined what was going to happen. She’s in a negative torturous situation, and holding on by a thread. Dorinda thinks Bethenny is emotionally heightened because of what’s going on in her own life. Luann says you just move on to the next phase; there’s a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windshield. Bethenny says she’s still in the same phase, and feels like she’ll never be done. She says she’s in hell, and it will never end.

While she’s talking, Ramona and Sonja literally skip in holding hands. I can’t even. Dorinda says she loves John, but she’s finding it hard to jump to the next level of commitment. Bethenny goes into the other room and cries. In her interview, she says she feels hopeless sometimes, like her ex is untouchable and she’ll never get out of this. Luann finds Bethenny, and says she didn’t mean to upset her; she didn’t realize it wasn’t over. Bethenny says she didn’t know, and not her fault. She starts to cry again, and tells Luann she thinks she’s making a big mistake and that Tom is cheating on her.

Dorinda asks why Bethenny is crying, and Carole explains how things have gotten worse with suckerfish Jason Hoppy. Bethenny tells Luann that if she has any doubts, she doesn’t have to go through with it. Luann says she’s good. Bethenny says she’s not a big sharer, but she’s not okay. She and Luann hug. Bethenny says if someone’s life is to torture you, you’re not okay. Carole tells the other women about Bethenny’s creepy cling-on cross-to-bear, and says he tells Bethenny that she’s a bad mother, calling her by her own mother’s name, who was a bad mother. I’m hoping any visits with the kid are supervised. Bethenny tells Luann that she doesn’t think Tom is a good guy, but Luann says she does. Bethenny wishes someone had pulled her out at the last minute, and she didn’t mean to intrude. Luann says she feels like they’re always being watched, and it’s been nerve-wracking. Bethenny asks if Tom was caught making out with someone tomorrow, if Luann would react the same way, but Luann says it won’t happen again.

Dorinda is talking about how her late husband introduced her to John. Luann returns, and Ramona asks how Bethenny is. Carole goes upstairs to check on her. Ramona and Sonja talk about how they’re always laughing and having fun. That’s because there isn’t a full brain between them, and ignorance is bliss.

Bethenny tells Carole that Luann is sitting up Deepak Chopra’s a-hole with her zen attitude, and she’s living in a fortune cookie. She’s concerned that Ramona is going to make it about her.

Dorinda is serving canned cranberry sauce. Not even the one with berries in it; the solid kind. Really? Everyone gathers in the kitchen to watch her put the meal together. Everybody except me – and maybe Bethenny – is thrilled with the cranberry sauce. For once, Carole is first at the table. Bethenny is hoping Ramona steers clear of her. Ramona spills sauce on one of the upholstered chairs, but Dorinda says not to worry about it, and she’ll deal with it tomorrow. In her interview, Dorinda says there’s something strange about Ramona, and it seems to be intensifying.

A toast to Dorinda! The chicken is served, which compels Carole to bring up how terribly their raised, and that she can show them a video. Dorinda says that on birthdays you should give a gift, and one of them is winning a handmade chocolate Santa. Ramona wins, and says Avery will love it. Carole thinks Ramona is drunk. In her interview, Bethenny says Ramona’s daughter is twenty-two. Is she sending her a chocolate Santa to go with her beer? Ramona toasts to Luann, wishing her a happy life that’s everything she wants it to be.

It’s cake time. Bethenny talks to Luann about Ramona laying it on. Ramona is the only one who doesn’t take her dishes to the kitchen, leaving a mess at her dining table spot. In her interview, Dorinda doesn’t understand where Ramona gets her sense of entitlement. The ladies sing Happy Birthday, and Dorinda blows out the candles.

Suddenly, Ramona is talking in Bethenny’s ear. In her interview, Bethenny says she was like a bat crawling onto her shoulder. Ramona says knows what she did hit Bethenny wrong. She doesn’t want to say she’s sorry, and risk being called The Apologizer, but she’s sorry. Bethenny tells us that Ramona gets the creepiest apology of the year award, adding, is that an apology or are you happy to see me?

At the table, Bethenny talks about all the awkward situations that have happened between them. Ramona says stupid things, and Carole calls her schmaltzy. Ramona tells them how much she loves them – except Tinsley, who’s new and she doesn’t love her that much yet. She proposes a toast to friendship, and Dorinda and Luann say they’re toasted out.

Ramona thinks she and Bethenny made up, but Dorinda says no, she doesn’t think so, and I laugh. Ramona says that Bethenny is making it difficult. Ramona tells Sonja that Bethenny makes her nervous. The girls goof around in the kitchen, saying that Tinsley’s voice makes everything she says sound like a proposition.

Ramona follows Bethenny to the living room. In her interview, she wonders how to fix things if Bethenny won’t let her. Bethenny says she doesn’t want Ramona walking on eggshells. Ramona apologizes again, and says there’s nothing malicious in her. Bethenny asks what she’s done, and Ramona says she doesn’t want to go in the past, but move forward. Bethenny tells Ramona that she hasn’t been a good friend. Ramona says, are you kidding me, like a dozen times.

Next time, Ramona gives Bethenny a list of her faults, Tinsley is uncomfortable at Sonja’s place, and Jill Zarin makes an appearance.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now presented a look back at scandals and how they’ve impacted us. Lorena Bobbitt, Hugh Grant, Bill Clinton, Rob Lowe, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee, more sex tapes, Jim Baker and other Evangelical scandals, Amy Fisher, Mary Kay Letourneau and how she and her one-time student squeeze are still together, Hulk Hogan, Tiger Woods, et al. One of the highlights was a lengthy interview with Mary Jo Buttafuoco, who, for the first time, displayed the Members Only jacket that she was wearing when Amy Fisher shot her, albeit torn and pretty bloody. It’s dried since then. I like Mary Jo. She’s a cool person and quite the pragmatist. She also informed us that to this day, ex-husband Joey has never admitted to having an affair with Amy. Next time, 1981 – the Royal Wedding, MTV, and shoulder pads, here we come!

🍰 Master Chef (the one with big people) started its new season tonight, and looks promising. The f Word also premiered, and even though I haven’t seen it yet, thanks to Bravo screwing me over, from the previews, it looks awesome. I’d previously watched the BBC series, and loved it. FOX is rerunning it on Friday at 9 pm. I’ll be there.

 

 

May 29, 2017 – No GH, a Door Opens for Kathryn, Classless Potomac, a Little Amish & Some Turquoise

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

No General Hospital today. They reran the “Good-by to Tracy” episode. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as the first time, but still enjoyable, and you can’t beat the ending with Luke waiting for her in a Turkish coffee shop. I do wonder if he’s the person who ultimately bought the painting though. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the answer to that question either.

Southern Charm

Kathryn practices her yoga. Landon calls Thomas to go out to dinner. Craig gets an email saying he passed…something. Cameran and Chelsea are going to Home Goods. Cameran wants a woman cave; her husband suggests a nursery. She tells him about the psychic saying she’ll have three children. He thinks they best get going on that.

Craig puts a copy of the “you passed” email on the fridge. He calls his parents. I find out the cat’s name is Gizmo, and wonder if he has an Instagram account. Craig has satisfied his upper-level writing requirement, which means he has a law degree now. He gives Gizmo some treats to celebrate.

Cameran tells Chelsea that she’s totally redoing the room, and needs help. I immediately covet the grey chaise lounge Cameran parks herself on. She tells Chelsea about the topic of Kathryn coming up at Patricia’s party, but doesn’t exactly present it the way it went. She says whenever they talk about Kathryn, the mood changes. She doesn’t want to get involved and says it’s getting old. What Cameran leaves out is that she’s the one who changed the mood. Whitney merely wondered If Kathryn’s amends-making call was legit, and Cameran got all bent out of shape with Landon backing her up as the Greek-freaking-chorus. Chelsea says she actually met Kathryn at the salon, and – after her initial fear wore off because of what she’d been told – she thought Kathryn was nice. Cameran says she can be lovely, but also an absolute horror. She admits people can change though, so who knows? Maybe she’ll be calling Kathryn some day for mother advice.

Naomie meets Craig for dinner. He tells her about graduating law school, and wanted to tell her in person. She says it’s probably a bigger weight off of her chest than his. Craig asks for credit in improving. Naomie says if there hadn’t been any improvement, they wouldn’t still be together. She acts like an idiot, and then asks if he’s taking the bar. Because God forbid he should be happy for a minute with his recent victory. He says his application is in, but she doesn’t like that answer. She wants him to say the words “I’m taking the bar.”

Shep calls Cameran. He apologizes for getting heated after the party. He just wants everyone to be friends. He’s arranging a lunch, including Kathryn, and would like Cameran to come. She says she doesn’t want any drama. Shep brings up the fact that Thomas is the one who owes her an apology. He says Thomas acts out just as badly (truth!), but he always gets a pass. She says she is curious to see if a change has taken place, so she agrees to come. He tells her to bring safety gear. In his interview, Shep says he’s not on anyone’s side; he’s like Switzerland. He calls Kathryn to warn her that Cameran will be at lunch. We flash back to the reunion, where it didn’t go too well with the two of them.

Thomas tells the nanny that he has a date.

Landon’s sister Bam (wtf? is she a Flintstone?) calls, and Landon tells her about inviting Thomas to dinner. In her interview, she says she’d probably have a ring and all the horses she wanted if she gave the okay. Even though she’s most likely right, that’s incredibly narcissistic.

Thomas and Landon meet at the restaurant. Thomas thinks he’s cool because he ordered the most expensive bottle of wine. They discuss the kids. He talks about Landon’s necklace, and tells her that turquoise is from Turkey. She thinks he’s amazing, but I looked this up, and what he is, is wrong. (See link below.) Landon says that Patricia told her that she should consider Thomas as a suitor. Her turn of phrase reminds me of the first place I lived in NYC. It was a women’s residence – kind of like a dorm – and the ladies who ran it said things like “gentlemen caller” and “beau parlor.” It was like being in a Tennessee Williams play. Landon tells Thomas that it would be good if he was twenty years younger and had no baggage. I choke on my coffee. She says she wishes she wasn’t so concerned about what people think. In his interview, Thomas tells us if he thought that way, he’d never leave the house. He tells a bad joke, and Landon acts like it’s the funniest thing ever. Some drunk lady at the next table tells them that she feels that they’re soulmates. Omg, she’s sloshed, and tells Thomas that he should make out with Landon. Please, not at the table. Please.

Craig and Kathryn are the first to arrive for Shep’s lunch, and they get a table outside. Craig asks when was the last time Kathryn and Cameran talked? Kathryn doesn’t really remember, but she’s glad Cameran agreed to come, since it might be awkward if they run into each other. In her interview, Cameran says she’s anxious and nervous because Kathryn can be unpredictable. Shep says Cameran doesn’t have a leg to stand on, since she and Kathryn have never even had an altercation. Whitney is a different story – we flash back to that. Shep is of the mind that even if there are problems, you smile and say, “good to see you.” We flash back to more Whitney nonsense.

Cameran and Whitney drive to the lunch together. Cameran says it’s an opportunity for Kathryn to prove them wrong, and make the two of them look like a-holes. That shouldn’t be too hard. When they arrive, she hopes Kathryn doesn’t think it’s an ambush. Hugs and air kisses all around. Then silence. Cameran says this is the first time they’ve all been together in a while, and that they support Kathryn, and want her to feel supported, even . Where this is coming from, I have no idea. Kathryn says she appreciates it, and it’s important right now. Whitney says it’s water under the bridge. In her interview, Kathryn says Whitney knew her when, and supported Thomas in her downfall. She thinks he might be feeling guilty.

Cameran asks if she’s finished romantically with Thomas. Kathryn says they haven’t even spoken in a year, and tells them about the letter she wrote to him, saying she’d like to co-parent. She talks about how much better she feels. Cameran says Whitney is in love, and she says with what? – ha-ha! – and he tells her about the new girl in his life. Craig announces that he’s graduated law school. Everyone steers clear of the bar question, but not really, since they say they’re going to steer clear of it.

Austen and Craig go golfing. They decide to make it interesting at twenty bucks a hole. Craig asks about Chelsea. He tells Austen that Naomie says she’s a good old boy in a beautiful woman’s body. In his interview, Austen says Chelsea has been engaged twice, and is skeptical of relationships.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon for a haircut. They talk about the quail hunt. Chelsea says she never went quail hunting before, and loved every second. They talk about dating, and Shep says she must have guys chasing her. She says nobody is chasing her, and Shep asks if she chewed Austen up and spat him out. She says they just have fun together.

Austen tells Craig about Shep saying he broke bro code by dating Chelsea. Craig says there’s nothing there except Shep wanting to conquer. Austen says if Shep makes a move, he’ll know what the score is, and that Shep is no real friend. He doesn’t think Chelsea would go out with him though. Craig tells him about Shep hitting on Naomie. He says the easy answer is that he thinks he’s better than everyone else, but the deeper thought is that he’s insecure and afraid of actually finding his own woman.

Shep asks Chelsea to go for a glass of wine, but she says she’s on the clock. He tells her to clock out.

Nanny Deidre tells Thomas he needs to get serious bout Saint’s birthday party. They discuss the guest list. In his interview, Thomas wishes he had a partner to plan it with, and laments that Saint doesn’t have a mother involved. Well, isn’t that Thomas’s choice? He calls his father, and tells him about the party. His father tells him that he has a dental appointment the same day, and if they pull the tooth, he “ain’t comin’.” Thomas doesn’t seem real happy about that.

Whitney drops by. The nanny takes the children away. Thomas tells Whitney about the party. Whitney asks if he’s inviting Kathryn, and he says he’s giving it some thought. Whitney tells him about the lunch with her, and says she seems to be doing well. Thomas brings up the letter, and Whitney thinks it’s a step forward. He says she seems to want to move on, and perhaps deserves a second chance.

Landon meets Drew for dinner. She gripes about her website. They can’t call it Roam anymore, since it’s a conflict with other websites, and they might get sued. In her interview, Landon says it’s her fault for not doing her homework, but I knew that already. She says that she’s learning so much every day. Like how to tie her shoes and the ABCs. Drew says he was born in 1989, and Landon says she’s old and her eggs are drying up. This woman has no filter. In her interview, she says there’s a void in her life. She tells Drew she wants family life soon. She likes and respects him, and doesn’t want to mislead him. He says he’s not ready for that yet, and she asks if they can still do stuff. She gets all teary, and says that all she wants is someone to walk her dog with her. Good luck with that if you’re going to get all weepy over it. There must be a Facebook group or something for that. I have to admit getting the feels over her talking about her 12-year-old dog.

Kathryn meets Elizabeth (bleh because she’s married to JD) at a coffee/dessert place. They talk about Saint’s birthday, and Elizabeth says they should get a cake. She asks about Thomas, and Kathryn says she wrote to him, but hasn’t heard back. Elizabeth says she has a reply letter for Kathryn, which makes me wonder why she asked, and why she didn’t tell Kathryn that right away. Weird. It’s a pleasant letter, saying blah-blah-blah how he’d like to be friends and wishes her the best. He invites her to the birthday party. She thinks maybe it’s a new beginning, and she’s going in with no expectations. Elizabeth says she hasn’t seen this Kathryn in a while.

Next time, Saint’s first birthday party, Shep tells Chelsea that she’s like a unicorn, and Shep is a no-show to meet Cameran at a property.

A Coupla Things

🍹 I took a look at The Real Housewives of Potomac late last night, and once again was shocked at how unsophisticated this group is. Ashley opened (or got her husband to fund) an Australian themed restaurant – Oz. The menu includes items like kangaroo and emu. Once again, the embarrassing behavior award goes to Gizelle and Robyn. Since this was a restaurant opening event, Ashley gave a little spiel at the beginning. Not only did Robyn have to explain to Gizelle what an emu is, they both made faces about it. While these aren’t things I would normally eat, I wouldn’t act like a five-year-old about it, especially if that’s the fare of the country. Emu was also a thing not all that long ago, being a lean protein. Obviously, these two are uninformed and immature. Karen needs to give them pseudo etiquette lessons. Oh, and I finally realized that Katie is gone from the cast when they had a flashback. Sadly, I hadn’t even noticed.

🍞 Again, not much was going on Sunday night, so I checked out Return to Amish. Rebecca took the test for her GED, but we don’t know if she passed yet. Math really seems to confuse her, but I would assume that the Amish don’t focus a lot on that, especially if you’re female. It’s sad enough that they only think a girl deserves an eighth-grade education, but it’s highly doubtful they encourage any education of females at all, other than cooking and sewing. I was put into advanced math when I was in sixth grade – whether I wanted to be there or not. Although it served me well later in life when I lied finessed my way into accounting jobs after reading Accounting 101. Rebecca also has severe anxiety problems, which explains her reaction, or lack thereof, to many things. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to accomplish this on her own. Even though she had a tutor, she had to be the one to get herself through the process. Jeremiah and Carmella were on the outs at the start of the episode, but had reconciled by the end. Carmella had taken her kids and gone back to Washington, saying that the situation was toxic, and Jeremiah was controlling. This struck me as odd, since they had just started IVF treatments, and Jeremiah was doing a load of work on their new house. Then Jeremiah mentioned Carmella’s hormone treatments, and I was like, ohhh. Her growing up in a cult doesn’t help anything either. We also got Abe’s story this week. While he sometimes seems kitty whipped by Rebecca, I kind of like how he always has her back. He also seems like a great father – we saw a lot of scenes with him and the kids. Of course Mary being his mother makes him a lucky guy, although it was dicey at first when he decided to leave the tribe. Mary told him that it would break her heart, since he’d be shunned, but it looks like they’ve gotten around that. Next time, it’s the season finale (sniff), and the gang heads to Las Vegas, where Mary is going to do what she jolly well pleases. Which I’m sure involves gambling and drinking.

Every man must live with the man he makes of himself. – Amish Proverb

Find Out About Turquoise Here:

http://www.turquoiseguide.com/articles/turquoise/turquoise-basics/name.htm

KittyTurquoise

 

May 24, 2017 – Don’t Touch the Chimera, NYC Returns to the Berkshires & Two Times the Andy

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Sonny arrives at the Nurses Ball, and Ava wants to jet. He asks why she’s leaving when the party just started.

Lulu asks Josslyn if she’s nervous. She says she is, but keeps reminding herself it’s for a worthy cause. She thought that Carly had said Sonny wasn’t coming, and Carly says he must have changed his mind.

Jason finds the chimera necklace on the floor. Anna accosts Valentin about the Chimera Project. He sees Nina hug Curtis.

Charlotte asks if the Chimera martini shaker is part of the act. and what does it do?  Jake says it’s powerful magic. He tells Charlotte that it’s a surprise, and not to touch it.

In the hospital, Nelle stirs. Kiki asks if she needs anything. Barely conscious, Nelle says, Michael.

Sonny says he has a problem with everything Ava does, and a big one with what she did to Morgan. Scotty comes to her rescue, and escorts her back to the table. Dante asks Sonny what that was about.

Lulu tells Laura that Charlotte is going to be one of Jake’s assistants.

Vaelentin tells Anna that the Chimera is gathering dust where it’s not a threat. Anna, on the other hand, has been one to his marriage and his life. He slides into the seat next to Nina while Lucy talks.

Sam asks Jason what’s wrong, and he shows her the necklace.

Lucy asks if we’re ready for female trouble with a capital T. Emma, Valerie, Amy 2.0 and Kristina perform Brave. Emma is quite a young lady now. I can’t help wondering when they all practiced, especially Emma. It’s a hit. Lucy encourages everyone to bid in the silent auction.

Bobbie sits at Carly’s table. She’s surprised about Sonny showing up, but Carly says the cause is important to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Morgan is gone, and Ava is trading on his name to make herself look good.

Kiki calls Michael. She says she needs to talk to his grandmother. Nelle is doing okay, but could use a friend.

Jason asks Sam if she really thinks it’s a coincidence. Sam wonders if Jake brought it, and Jason says, who else? Who else, indeed. Like any one of five people.

Emma and Charlotte wonder how they can assist, when they can’t even touch the magic trick. Jake says no one else knows how the magic works – only him.

Anna calls Robert, and tells him how proud she is of Emma. She’s not calling about that though. She asks what the Chimera actually does. After he tells her (we don’t hear it), she wonders how it ever got created in the first place.

Valentin asks if Nina is going to ignore him. Curtis thinks he should go back to his own table. Valentin says not without his wife, and begs Nina not to shut him out.

Anna approaches Andre. He says he’s having a good time, and wants to keep it that way. She explains that the person who offended him was her sister.

Nina tells Valentin that she has nothing to say. Valentin says she’s right, the time for talking is over. He gets up.

Valentin goes to Lucy’s dressing room. She says she’s happy about his donation, but it doesn’t cancel out that he shot Doc. He says he wants to up his donation to seven figures. Lucy asks him in exchange for what?

Sonny isn’t going to stop until he finds out how Morgan died. Dante says they know. Sonny says explain the pills then, and tells him about the dosage difference. He says Andre checked with the pharmacy, and Morgan was given the correct dosage. He’s going to find out what happened. Meanwhile, Andre calls the lab.

Valerie forgot her lipstick, and Kristina gives her a commercial for Burt’s Bees. Valerie says it’s perfect, and Kristina says it moisturizes as well. It is nice stuff.

Jason asks Elizabeth where Jake is. He shows her the necklace. Elizabeth wonders if someone gave it to him. No, he bought it himself. Geez. Jake asks what’s going on, and if they’re talking about him.

Valerie asks Jordan and Curtis if they’re enjoying the night, and Jordan compliments her on her performance. When she’s gone, Curtis tells Jordan that’s one way to show you’ve moved on. He tells Nina he hopes she took notes, because she needs to move on from Valentin. She’s not sure she wants to.

Lucy says Obrecht is unable to perform. We hear something that sounds like a bunch of pots and pans clattering backstage. She says they have someone just as rich…er, good. Valentin says this is for his wife, because he loves her. He sits at the piano. She’s mesmerized, and so am I. I can’t tell if it’s really him playing, but if not, they did a nice job with editing that. He sings Billy Joel’s And So It Goes. If Nina doesn’t want him, I’ll take him. Lucy introduces Valentin after the fact, and thanks him. Her dresses are fantastic – kind of nude, with lots of sparkles in strategic places. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day.

Anna leaves, and Nina tries to follow. Curtis stops her, and tells her not to do this to herself; it’s not worth it. Anna asks Valentin to tell her what she needs to know.

Lulu (whose dress matches Charlotte’s) asks if Charlotte isn’t going to get ready, but she doesn’t think there’s going to be an act. Jason asks Jake if he’s seen the necklace before. He asks if it’s Jake’s, but Jake doesn’t say anything. He tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t feel good. Elizabeth asks if he just has stage fright, and Franco offers to go on stage with him. Elizabeth tells him that he doesn’t have to do what he doesn’t want to.

Dante tells Sonny that he has to talk to Ava and Lucy again. Sonny asks why Dante didn’t tell him that Ava was at The Floating Rib the night of the robbery. Dante says it could be a coincidence.

Carly wonders where Michael is. Josslyn tells her that Michael said something came up, and left. She jets before Carly can ask what came up.

Michael is at the hospital. Kiki tells him that Nelle asked for him. He pulls a chair next to her bed.

Dante says that when Ava’s name is mentioned, Sonny gets reckless. He suggests that Sonny and Ava stay away from each other. Sonny tells Dante he’ll be fine, and Lulu is probably wondering what happened to him. Dante goes back to his table, and Andre tells Sonny that there’s trace evidence of an inert substance in the pill bottle. It’s possible that the crumbled pill was a placebo. We won’t go over all the reasons that’s not how any of this works.

Valentin tells Anna, don’t. He says she and her sister have jeopardized everything he loves. Even worse, he let her, reverting back to what he was, a stuttering Richard III hunchback. He says the only things that matter are his wife and daughter, and if he ever mattered to her, let him alone.

Jake asks if Elizabeth is sure that he doesn’t have to perform; what I something bad happens? Elizabeth says the worst that can happen is they leave early, and everyone is cool with that. Jake is like, okay, no magic show.

Carly wonders what Sonny is doing there, and what he wanted with Ava. I’m totally distracted by Ava’s earrings; I want them so much.

Sonny says, Morgan was taking a placebo? and Andre says that would explain things. Sonny says someone set him up, tampering with his medication so he’d have a breakdown. And he’s going to find out who.

Ava is worried, but Scotty says he covered her tracks. No way is Sonny finding out.

Lucy says it’s a special thrill to introduce a newcomer.

Michael’s phone rings. He asks if it’s time. Josslyn asks why he thought it was a good idea. He tells her that his little sister is a rock star, and he wants everyone to know. He says he’s with her, and so is Nelle.

Lucy introduces Josslyn. Michael puts the phone on speaker. I don’t know the song (and couldn’t find it on Google), but the crowd goes wild. Sonny and Carly give each other a soap opera stare.

Franco says maybe Jake could perform at home. Elizabeth asks where the magic box is.

Charlotte says perhaps she and Emma can do the magic act. They open the box. She says they’ll start with the Chimera martini shaker.

Jason tells Sam that he didn’t like Jake’s reaction to the necklace. Sam wants to go home, but tells him to stay. Griff comes by, and asks if he’s seen Emma. He asks what Jason is doing with Anna’s necklace.

Anna says she understands that Valentin wants to leave past behind, but they’re jeopardizing the people they love. He tells her that the only person who knows about it, is dead. She asks who it is, and he says he sold it to Helena. Like this is a huge surprise.

Charlotte doesn’t know how to open the Chimera. She presses a button on it, and blue lights start flashing.

Nelle says that Michael missed Josslyn’s performance, but he says he just listened to it. He tells her that Josslyn backed him up in coming there.

Ava tells Scotty that she never meant for anything bad to happen; she just did it to protect Kiki. Scotty says doesn’t matter. Morgan is dead. Case closed.

Carly asks Sonny why he’s there. He tells her that he finally has answers about Morgan.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Valentin asks Lulu if there’s a problem, Scotty says Ava has to get out, Anna calls Robert, and Jake tries to stop the Chimera. I’m guessing that Obrecht is going to free herself from whatever closet Lucy and Valentin trapped her in, and it’s going to go off during her performance. Along with Lucy’s clothes coming off.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona is downtown. Carole’s kittens hang from the curtains. Dorinda is packing for the Berkshires.

Bethenny meets with her real estate guy, Frederik Eklund. (Million Dollar Listing: New York premieres tomorrow.) He’s checking out the apartment that she’s getting ready to sell, and she says it’s bittersweet. Frederik lusts after her shoe collection. Me too. And the humongous closet the shoes are in. Frederick tells her they need to de-clutter de-personalize.

Ramona drops by Carole’s place. She starts moving things around on the coffee table, and critiquing Carole’s way of placing things. I’d smack her. They talk about Dorinda’s party, and Luann’s upcoming wedding. Carole says Tom acts more like the bride than Luann.

While walking the dog, Tom and Luann discuss a honeymoon. She suggests South Africa. In her interview, Luann says she loves being married. She’s trying to get used to saying “our” again. Tom complains about gaining weight.

Carole tells Ramona that she thinks Luann is having second thoughts. She says that someone told her that all is not as it seems. We revisit the scene where Barbara is telling Carole that she thinks Luann would rather go through with it and get divorced later. Which, btw, Barbara is seriously miffed about, since she claims she didn’t know it would be on the show. Please. Barbara must be a full-blown idiot. Carole says maybe Luann is just having last minute jitters, but thinks the conversation should be had. Ramona says that she got a text from someone who used to date Tom, and he recently tried to be sexually aggressive with her. She called Tom a “dirty dog,” and said she didn’t think she was the only one he’s groping. Carole wonders if Luann cares. Ramona asks if they’re bad friends if they don’t tell her – or if they do tell her. She reminds Carole about what happened in Miami. We flash back to that, and she says it’s not just one kiss. Carole says maybe Luann is confiding in Dorinda, and Ramona thinks they should talk to her.

It’s Christmas in the Berkshires again. Dorinda messes with some giant balls (hush) that light up. We flash back to the last holiday dinner there, when Dorinda made it nice. She’s going to be more strategic this time, and invite the women in different groups over the course of three days. And yes, Sonja is invited this year.

Sonja thinks she’s cool because she’s in the first group and “invited early.” She arrives with Ramona. Tinsley is also coming after meeting her mother for lunch.

Tinsley’s mother asks if she’s happy in NYC. She’s brought Tinsley’s father’s ashes because she’s taking them to Florida, and Tinsley might want to say good-by. I would have hoped Tinsley had done that already, since he’s been gone for two years. Tinsley gets a drink from the mini-bar. She talks about her mother’s hugs being relative to her weight as a child, and in her interview, says that Southern mothers are particularly critical of their children. They talk about Sonja. Tinsley’s mother hopes Tinsley is appreciative, since Tinsley is sponging off of her.

Sonja complains about Tinsley not making coffee and excluding her when she goes out. Dorinda says she knows a lot about Tinsley’s past, but not who she is today. She thinks Tinsley needs to open up, and hopes over time that she trusts them more.

Tinsley’s mom wants her to have a baby, but Tinsley says she’s not just going to pluck some random guy out. They talk about Tinsley’s dating life.

Dorinda wants the girls to help decorate. She takes her tree seriously, and says it’s a religion. She gives detailed instructions on how the lights should be placed.

Adam’s parents, David and Lola, are in town, and Carole is accompanying them to find Christmas presents for Adam. In her interview, Carole says it didn’t take her two minutes to win Lola over, and parents love her. She says they want grandkids, and Adam wants kids, but she’s not going to be the one having them, since she’s 200 years old. She says what it means for the relationship is still to be determined. David acts exhausted, even though he hasn’t done anything except go along for the ride.

Tinsley gets to the Berkshires. In her interview, she says her mother told her you can never have enough Christmas decorations, but she thinks Dorinda is secretly Mrs. Claus. She does have a lot of them. Sonja picks on Tinsley for having lunch elsewhere. Tinsley keeps explaining that it was her mother.

It’s Dorinda’s birthday. She wants to show Tinsley her cake, but even though it says, “open here,” it’s the wrong side, and the cake has toppled. Dorinda says, enough wine, and the cake will be beautiful. Amen, sister!

Bethenny tells the driver no hookers, because they might have to peel out at midnight. She and Carole act like five-year-olds walking in, but Carole says she thinks the third time is the charm. Dennis has sent Bethenny flowers at Dorinda’s because he knows she needs floral therapy in the Berkshires. She’s just hoping Ramona leaves her alone.

Carole talks to Bethenny alone about Luann. Bethenny wonders if there’s any way they can get her out of it. Luann obviously doesn’t care or doesn’t want to know, so I’m not sure why these women keep wanting to get involved. Unless Andy Cohen is standing there with a pitchfork. I used to think Jeff Probst was the antichrist until Andy came along.

Bethenny says it was reliable information last year, and the same source has it that Tom is straying again. Carole says Bethenny is like the cautionary tale for a whirlwind romance. Bethenny agrees, but says hers wasn’t as bad at this point in time. Bethenny wants to be on a group tag team to tell Luann, as she was on her own in Miami.

Omg, Dorinda has a fat little dog named Lucy who is just precious. The ladies mess with the fireplace, and try to burn down Dorinda’s house by not opening the flue. They sit down for drinks, and Dorinda says that Luann is rock solid about getting married. Carole says she’s heard differently. Ramona says she doesn’t want Luann to be the last to know. In her interview, Dorinda wishes they could talk about someone else. Ramona reads the texts she received. Dorinda hopes they’re taking it the wrong way. Bethenny says the cracks become craters. She says her situation didn’t even start the same way, and look how it ended up. In her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t want to hear it, but now she’s obligated to say something, so Luann can either leave, stay, or shoot someone. She asks the other women to be with her because she’s afraid.

Dorinda thinks all she’ll get is anger, but Carole says she’s being a good friend. Luann arrives while the ladies are setting out the materials for cookie decorating. Bethenny asks about Luann’s dress, and if she’s all set. Luann talks to Tinsley about finding her own place. Tinsley says Sonja talks smack behind her back, and Luann says welcome to the club. Tinsley tells the ladies that she can’t even talk to Sonja’s assistant without it being a problem. Sonja says she can’t have him doing errands, and she has to treat him professionally. Tinsley claims that she only asked him once to take a package for her. Ramona tells her to face it, she can’t do anything right. Sonja makes up stupid scenarios that could have happened if her assistant dared open the door for Tinsley’s delivery. No way would I live with this woman. No wonder Tinsley ditches her.

Bethenny tells Carole that she’s glad Ramona is keeping her distance. She thinks everyone told Ramona how foolish she looked, and she’s trying to make up for it.

In private, Dorinda tells Luann the saga continues. She asks if Luann is happy, and if she believes Tom is done with other women. She tells Luann about the texts, and says she wanted to come to her directly. She asks if Luann trusts Tom. Luann says she trusts him 100%. She says they don’t check each other’s phones, and Dorinda admits to checking John’s phone, as well she should. Luann says she doesn’t care what anyone says. Dorinda tells her that as long as she doesn’t feel like she’s being pressured, it’s all good. In her interview, Dorinda says at the end of the day, it’s Luann that has to handle this. Luann wonders if the women don’t have anything better to do, and thinks they’re talking about her because they’re missing something in their own lives.

Luann tells Dorinda that Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends, trying to dig up dirt, and poof! Ramona appears.

Next time, two weeks until the wedding, Carole wonders why all these women want to kiss Tom, Bethenny refuses to make a toast, and Ramona and Bethenny have it out.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1990. George Michael’s Freedom video, supermodels, Vogue! The Fly Girls (whose inspiration was part hip-hop, part Ann Margaret), Nelson Mandela’s release, more realistic family sitcoms, Married with Children and Terry Rakolta, Twin Peaks, the first war live on TV (the Gulf War), Home Alone, and Sinead O’Connor shaving her head. The twist on this retrospective show, is that all of the main topics covered are tied to how they’ve influenced today. I like this show almost as much as CNN’s decades series. The biggest revelation this evening? RuPaul finds Ed O’Neill sexy.

🏖 Watch What Happens Live has been blessed with a few of the Beverly Hills Wives stopping by since they’re filming in LA this week. Lisa Vanderpump stopped by the other night with a batch of puppies and I almost passed out. Erika Jayne  dropped in tonight, and Kyle Richards also did a bit with Andy at the beginning of the show. Guest Bethenny Frankel was a hoot, spilling the tea where she could, and joining her, Eric Stonestreet was just delightful. James Kennedy (Vanderpump Rules) has been the house DJ, and Andy brought along the Gay Shark, who has acquired rainbow swim trunks for his trip to the West Coast. Tomorrow, Chelsea Handler is on. I’ll be watching, but she’s not a favorite of mine. I liked her original show when it first aired, but I saw her change over time, becoming more mean than funny. God forgive me, but I was glad when she cried over Hillary losing the election.