Tag Archives: Real Housewives

February 13, 2017 – Nelle is on Track, Candace Goes to Jail, the BH Wives Beat Another Dead Horse & LVP’s Gown


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Jason runs into Robin at Kelly’s. Robin thanks him for killing Faison. He gets it. She says never mind what he did to her, Jason, or even Nathan. He terrorized Anna most of her life. Jason set her free.

Sonny is finally home. Carly asks how their guest is, and voila! Mike appears bearing chocolates. He tells her he’s checking into a hotel, but Sonny says it’s already decided that he stay there.

Ava shows Elizabeth and Franco the studio, giving them a few ideas for the reception. She knows it’s not a traditional venue, but it’s fitting, since Franco is an artist; it’s her gift to them. Franco wants to think about it, but Elizabeth is on board. Ava says he’s the luckiest man alive, and asks how it feels to leave the past behind.

Drew goes to Kim’s place. She shows him a picture of Oscar with a black eye. He asks what happened, and she says, he did.

Sonny says they have plenty of room. Mike says he can make his own decisions. Carly asks if it was like this the whole way there. She says Mike is right. He should stay where wants to, including at the MetroCourt, but she would be offended if he doesn’t stay with them. Mike agrees, even if he is under surveillance. He goes upstairs, and Carly asks Sonny what’s going on. Sonny tells her that Mike is in some kind of trouble. He’s not letting him go back home until finds out what it is.

Drew says he’s seen his share of black eyes. Kim tells him if he teaches his son to fight, he’ll fight, and think best way to solve problems. Drew says he taught him to defend himself; it’s what Oscar asked him to do. Kim says they were doing fine before he came along to teach them lessons. They start to argue, and Oscar tells them to stop. He tells Kim that she couldn’t be more wrong.

Ava tells Franco and Elizabeth that she knows a DJ, and they can make space for dancing. Elizabeth says they’ll think about it, and Ava tells them to let her know. They leave, and Nelle comes in with roses for Ava. They’re from Griff, and the card says, yours today, tonight, and tomorrow.

Robin tells Jason that Nathan’s funeral was heartbreaking. She thinks Maxie is still in shock, but has a lot of people there for her, including Sam and Drew. She says she was surprised to hear they’re getting married. She’d hoped Sam would take a step back and evaluate Jason’s feelings. Jason says she wants a life with Drew, but Robin says that’s what she thinks she wants. If she abandoned Drew because Jason came back, she would feel disloyal, and that every I love you was a lie. She watched Patrick go through it with Sabrrrina. He loved her, but loved Robin more. She would bet everything that Sam loves him more. Jason says she sounds like Carly. Robin thinks that should tell him something; they actually agree. She reminds him that it’s Valentine’s Day, and gives him one of Emma’s candy hearts. It reads, Real Love. Worst. Tasting. Candy. Ever. Like flavored chalk.

Michael meets Jason, and they talk about Robin. Michael says that Carly made things hard for her and Jason. Jason says it was a long time ago, and it’s forgotten now. Michael asks if Carly used him to get closer to Jason. He thinks that’s what Nelle is doing with the baby.

Ava tells Nelle that a year ago, she never would have dreamed she’d be getting a beautiful bouquet from a wonderful man. A lot can change in a year. Nelle says a year ago, she never expected to be having a baby with Michael; they were just falling in love. He made her feel like she wanted to be a better person, and she was going to try, but it blew up in her face. Ava is right; what a difference a year makes. Ava says your life can turn around if someone believes in you enough. You should believe in yourself, but it helps a lot for someone to look at you like you matter. Nelle is happy for her. Ava tells her that a year from now, she’ll have her baby, and if everything goes according to her to plan, she’ll have her man too, and a bouquet of her own. Nelle says, from her lips to Michael’s ears.

Sonny tells Carly that Mike is a runner, and there was a problem with the money. She wonders if Mike is gambling again, but Sonny says he claims he isn’t, and Rita backs him up. He explains that Rita is Mike’s lady friend, and the best thing that ever happened to him. She’s good people. Carly thinks that’s great for Mike, but what about the money? Sonny tells her that Caruso called him about $10K that Mike lost, but he found it in Mike’s cigar box. Mike said he didn’t know anything about it. Carly says that doesn’t make sense, and Sonny says that’s why Mike is there. He’s going to figure out what’s going on. Mike comes back downstairs, and tells them that they don’t have to talk in hushed voices. He knows Sonny has his eye on him, and they don’t have to count the silverware. The doorbell rings. It’s Robin. She comes in and hugs Mike.

Kim tells Oscar that he might have the day off school, but he has a social studies project due. He goes into his room to work on it, and Drew apologizes to her. He says he should have thought of another way to solve the problem. He promises to do better, and Kim says she could have handled it better herself. Drew says they’re learning as they go. He asks about the bully, and Kim says that Oscar can tell him what’s going on.

Michael tells Jason that Nelle seems clear on them not being together, but never misses a chance to lean on him, hold his hand, or talk about the future. He thinks she’s using the baby. He doesn’t love her, and doesn’t really know her. She has something broken inside, and lies compulsively. He has no faith in her as a good mother, but doesn’t want a custody fight. He wonders what the best solution is, and Jason tells him that he wouldn’t try to make a family with someone he doesn’t trust; it will end up hurting the child. Michael had chaos around him, but also people who loved him. He tells Michael to be there day in and day out, regardless of what Nelle does, and the baby will be okay. Michael thanks him and jets. While Jason is paying the tab, Jake comes in with Elizabeth and Franco.

Ava asks Nelle if she wants to go shopping with her. Michael comes into the gallery. Ava tells him to wish Avery a happy Valentine’s Day from her mama, and leaves them to talk. Nelle tells Michael that Ava misses her daughter, and she’s starting to understand how some bonds can’t be broken. She tells him that she get an email confirmation about the mommy class, but Michael wants to talk about the apartment. Nelle hands him an envelope, saying she’s giving him the rent early, but he tells her to hold on to it. For both of their sakes, he’s decided to stick to the original plan. He’s putting the building up for sale.

Drew says Oscar told him that his friend was different, but not that different. Oscar asks if it matters, and Drew says yes, he admires him more for it. Oscar asks if Drew thinks having the alternative dance is asking for more trouble. He says, probably, but some things are worth it. Oscar asks if Kim is on board, and she’d rather he concentrate on his report before focusing on the party. Oscar tells them that they need to work on their co-parenting skills; he’s getting mixed messages. After he’s gone, Drew says he has a point. It’s nobody’s fault, but they did do something incredible together – making Oscar.

Mike looks at pictures of Robin’s kids, and tells her about his system for remembering all of the kids’ names. He associates family members with his favorite horses. He starts to get up, and sits back down, telling them he gets wobbly when he stands up too fast. He thinks maybe it’s low blood sugar, and Robin asks if he has the same issue when he sits down. Mike says he doesn’t have any issues. Robin says, sorry, it’s an occupational hazard, and she has to ask when his last checkup was. He says this is Sonny’s doing and that everyone is taking his temperature now. Sonny says he didn’t say anything, and Carly tells Mike that Sonny is just worried. Mike says, don’t. He had everything under control until Sonny showed up. Sonny says they’re family, but Mike thinks some family is better off staying apart. He’s going back to Brooklyn. Sonny tells him that he’s not going anywhere.

Jake tells Jason that he won first prize in the art contest. Jason congratulates him, and Jake says he did it with Franco’s help. Franco says it was all him. Jason tells him to enjoy his celebration, and Jake asks if Jason is coming to the wedding.

Mike asks if Sonny is flexing his muscles, or is he going to have his guys do it for him? Robin apologizes, saying that he looks great, and sometimes she can be overprotective. Mike says there’s nothing wrong with him, except the aches and pains that go with collecting a social security check. Rita calls, and he tells her everything is fine. He’s going to stay for a few days, but he’ll be back on Saturday, and maybe they can go dancing.

Nelle says Michael never told her that he’d bought the building. He says it seemed like a good investment, and she says, now it’s not? He thinks it’s better for the child if they set clear boundaries. She says, message received, and hopes he doesn’t take a loss. He doesn’t mean to make things hard for her, especially when she’s having a baby. She says she appreciates his past help. It’s all good; no worries. He promises not to sell it to anyone who wants to turn it into condos or hike the rent. She says she’s sure he’ll do the right thing, and asks if he’s sure he wants to do the classes with her. He says he does, and leaves. Ava tells her, nicely handled. Nelle still has a place to live, while Michael and his family get to be with Avery. She guesses they’re supposed to be happy with crumbs, but Nelle says she grew up with crumbs, and she’s done with it. It’s a momentary setback. It’s not over. Her goals are still on track.

Kim tells Drew that she’d like to take credit for how Oscar turned out, but he’s just a great kid. Drew says he’s clearly got her brains and heart, and he appreciates being his father. She says it’s going to take some getting used to sharing him, and letting have own relationship with Drew. It’s been just the two of them for years, but it’s good for Oscar that he’s there now. Drew says he’ll do his best. Kim knows he will. She still sometimes looks at Oscar like her baby boy. He tells her that she should be proud; he’s growing up to be a fine young man. It takes guts to stand up for someone else. She says his willingness to jump in and confront is from Drew. It reminds her of a time when they were together.

Jason tells Jake that he can’t make it to the wedding. Jake wonders if he said something wrong, and Elizabeth tells him no. Jason says that he found a new place to live, and maybe he can visit. Elizabeth and Jake go to the counter for cupcakes. Franco tells Jason that he’s going to be Jake’s stepfather, and Jason can hate him all he likes, but don’t put Jake in the middle. Jason says Jake doesn’t understand what Franco is. Franco says Jake doesn’t understand he had a brain tumor that made him do bad things. He wonders if it’s something like how Jason’s brain damage made him a stone-cold killer, and if there might be surprises coming from his time in the Russian clinic. Sam should be more afraid of Jason than him. Jason says Franco did what he did, and never paid, but he will. Sometimes I like Jason, but not right now.

Nelle doesn’t put it past Carly to take her baby away the way she took Avery from Ava. Ava says she’s probably already working on it. Nelle says she has to protect herself, and think of the long game. Ava tells her that pregnancy can make you vulnerable. Nelle says if Michael wants distance, that’s fine. Let him think they’re going their separate ways. Carly will be thrilled. Ava asks what’s next. Nelle says she’ll let Michael come to her. He’s going to need a friend soon; someone to lean on. Nelle will offer her shoulder. Her shoulder is sympathetic, and attached to the mother of his child.

Michael brings Avery home. He’s glad to see Robin and Mike, saying he didn’t know Sonny was bringing Mike back. Sonny says it was a surprise to him too. Mike asks who Avery is, and Carly says his granddaughter. Mike makes like he knew that, but Sonny looks like he’s thinking it over.

Elizabeth tells Franco to give her a minute, and he goes outside with Jake. She asks what just happened, but Jason says it’s between them. She says they’re getting married and it concerns her. Jake is excited, and wanted to include him. He says that means a lot, but he can’t. It’s her life and choice, but if he went, it would be the same as lying to Jake. Saying that it’s okay when it’s not. Elizabeth says Jake loves Franco, and Franco inspired him; he’s teaching Jake to be an artist. Franco has been there for him time and again. Jason says that might be true, but Jake doesn’t know Franco like he does. Hopefully, he never will.

Kim tells Drew they’d made plans to meet at a bar near the base. She got there first, and a guy hitting on her wouldn’t take no for an answer. He grabbed her shoulder, and tore the strap on her dress when she pulled away. Drew asks, what happened?

Ava hopes Nelle’s confidence is backed up by one helluva plan. She tried kicking Carly to the curb a few times. Nelle says she’ll never see it coming, and Ava has a stake in this too. She got Carly a special Valentine today; one she won’t forget. Griff calls. While Ava steps away, Nelle digs around in her purse and takes out a small tape recorder.

Robin tells Sonny that she has experience with strong-willed parents, but Mike should have a checkup to be on the safe side. She asks Sonny when the last time was he had one, and he says the last time he got shot. She suggests next time he’s due to omit the first part, and says goodbye. Avery gives Sonny a Valentine that she made. Mike watches them, all misty.

Kim feels strange telling Drew the story. He asks if he killed someone, and she says nothing like that. The guy tore her strap, and boom! he was there. He gently pushed her aside, and turned on him like an avenging angel. He says, they squared off in the bar? Did he win? She says he always won. Oscar listens from the hallway.

Elizabeth tells Jason that Franco has changed; everyone knows it. They don’t have to like him, but they’ve learned to coexist, including Michael and Sam. They’ve moved on, and he should do the same. Jake pops his head in to rush them along. Elizabeth says her family is waiting; her future. Maybe he should think about starting a future of his own. Things change, people change. She’s saying this with love, let it go. She wishes him a happy Valentine’s Day, and leaves. He sighs. If there was an Olympic event for sighing, Jason would win the gold.

Tomorrow, Kiki is glad Spinelli is there, Sam asks if Drew remembers something, and Danny wants his mom.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Justin beats on Wyatt. Jim comes running in, and pulls him off. He asks what the hell is going on, and tells Justin to get out. Justin tells Wyatt to call one more time and see what happens. Jim asks what Justin’s name is, and Justin says his name is go to hell. Jim says he has his badge number, and Justin tells Wyatt not to call Jeffrey again; he means it. Jim is like wth? He asks what Justin was talking about, and if there’s something he needs to know. Wyatt says Jim doesn’t need to know anything about his life. Jim doesn’t care if he’s attracted to Jeffrey, but is puzzled that he came in to find Wyatt and another guy fighting over him.

Wyatt tells Jim to get out. Jim says not until he has a conversation with his loving son. Wyatt has nothing to say, and Jim tells him to listen then. He asks if Wyatt thinks he’s scared of him. Wyatt says jail should scare him. He and Kathryn are both going. Jim ask if he remembers their conversation about the DA. Wyatt says they’re all going down. Jim asks what his life will be like after that, and Wyatt says, so much better. Jim says going from rehab to rehab, and waking up in his own vomit sounds like fun. How long is he going to stay clean? He wants that for him, and loves him. Wyatt says he has a helluva way of showing it. Jim says it’s not going to go well. He’s going to end up broke in a gutter, selling pencils for spare change. He’s already been duped with the overpriced apartment, and knows nothing about money; no one taught him. Wyatt says, yeah, they did a good job. Jim says what’s done is done. He doesn’t want Wyatt talking to this DA. Wyatt asks if he’s heard of witness intimidation. He’s going all the way to the Supreme Court if he has to. Jim says he’ll come crawling back, but Wyatt says never. He says it’s done. Jim wonders how he raised such a stupid son. Wyatt asks if he’s going to kill him too. Jim says he loves him, and Wyatt says love is scary. Jim isn’t trying to scare him, but tell him the truth. He wants him to remember this conversation when he crawls back. Wyatt says there’s no home to crawl back to, since his mom is divorcing Jim. Jim says he’s grossly underestimated the power of his father, but Wyatt says Jim has grossly underestimated the power of his son. Jim hopes so, for his sake. He asks if Jim is done, and says he and Kathryn have to stop coming around there. Jim leaves. When was Kathryn there? Like, three seasons ago?

The doctor goes in to see Veronica. She asks if anything is wrong, and if she has any internal injuries. He says all the tests were negative, and she wonders why she feels so bad. He says she was in a car that flipped over. They can discharge her; there’s no need to stay. He asks if she feels up to talking to the officer who’s been checking on her. She wants to ask some questions about the accident. Veronica agrees, and the officer comes in. Veronica asks where she was when a car tried to run her off the road, and the officer asks if she got a good look at them. Veronica tells her they were in her rear view. It was a truck, an older model, black. The officer asks if she thinks it was deliberate. She does. She says they just came out of nowhere and rammed her car. She asks if Veronica has any enemies. Veronica says she’s an attorney who’s represented a lot of bad people. She has quite a few ideas, but will let her know when she gets to the bottom of it. The officer says that’s their job, and Veronica says, do it. She’ll call her boss, since she doesn’t seem that bright. The officer leaves, and Veronica calls Benny. She leaves a message that she’s being discharged. She’ll get a car home, and asks him to call her back.

David paces at the station again. He must have worn a path in front of the reception desk by now. He says, that’s it, and calls Veronica. She asks what he wants, and he asks why she had Jeffrey arrested. She says he wants to be with the boys, so prison is the best place. He calls her a crazy, maniacal person, and she asks if he’s just finding that out. He tells her to call the DA and have the charges dropped. He’s their son, and she can’t control him. She says she can, and David calls her impossible. He says she’s a simple bitch, and she tells him to say it again and see what happens. He says they have to get Jeffrey out; he’s not doing well. She doesn’t care. David hangs up, and when his phone rings, he answers with saying she’s being a bitch. Erica asks if he’s okay, and wonders what’s going on. He tells her, nothing. He’s just trying to deal with a situation. She asks if it’s another woman, and he tells her that his ex did something terrible. He doesn’t know when he’ll be back. He’s got to deal with his son, and says he’ll see her later. He asks if she’s okay. She says she is, but she doesn’t seem like it.

David approaches Justin at his station desk. Justin has nothing to say. David thinks he does. He needs to know what’s going on with Justin and his son. He knows his son is gay. Justin says there’s nothing going on, and he’s not gay. David tells him there’s a video that says otherwise. He says he just read the report about Quincy’s body being found, and Justin was there. He tells Justin to leave his son alone. Justin says he’s not doing anything. David accuses him of planting evidence to incriminate Jeffrey because he’s a psychotic jealous lover (and David should know about those). He repeats, leave his son alone.

Sarah parks Candace on a bench outside of Jeffrey’s cell. He asks if they had her arrested too. She tells him, no, but don’t say too much. She tells him that his dad is there, trying to get him out, and he will. Jeffrey says he can’t go to jail. This is insane. Candace tells him to be cool. He babbles about the disgusting and dangerous people, and she says to play it right, and everything will be fine. He says he didn’t do this alone, and she tells him be quiet right now. She says not to panic; they have nothing on them, and his father can argue for him. He says he can’t be in here another hour, and she tells him to calm down. Sarah comes back. She tells Candace no talking to the inmates, and leads her away.

Mitch hears Melissa moaning, and opens the bedroom door. He sees her and Benny going at it, and Benny tells him to get out. He does, telling Benny to hurry up. Uh-oh. Veronica walks in. Mitch says he brought Benny to get her things, and she asks where he is. Mitch says upstairs getting her things, and she says he’s not answering his phone. Mitch says he might have left it in car, and offers to go get him. He sits Veronica on the couch, and runs upstairs. He tells Benny that Veronica is home, downstairs right now. Melissa asks what Mitch is doing, and he says trying to get his boy. Benny is throwing on his clothes. She says they didn’t finish, and asks if he wants to start. He asks if this is a joke, and she asks if it sounds like she’s joking. They get out while the getting is good.

Veronica tells Benny that she was discharged, so she didn’t need her clothes. He says she’s still beautiful, but he has to go. Melissa comes down in tiny robe, and Veronica tells her to put some clothes on. Melissa says Veronica always wants her to wear it, and Veronica says, for her son. Melissa says he doesn’t appreciate it, and Veronica tells her to go upstairs. Benny says he’s leaving, and Melissa asks him if he doesn’t want to finish. He says he doesn’t want anything. Veronica asks him to help her upstairs, saying she’ll deal with Melissa later. Melissa makes a snide remark about Veronica having to deal with the edges on her foundation. Benny helps Veronica up the stairs, and Melissa asks Mitch if Benny and Veronica are involved. He feigns ignorance, and she asks if it’s true what they say about tall men. She asks if he thinks she’s sexy, and jumps into his arms. He’s like, no way, and Melissa says she wouldn’t tell. He says, bye-bye, and she says, next time.

Benny sits Veronica down, and takes her shoes off. She asks if he’s going to tuck her in, and asks for a kiss. Benny is getting a lot of action today. She says he saved her life, She wishes she wasn’t in so much pain, or she’d take him right now. She asks him to come back to see her, and he says tomorrow. She calls him, her hero, and he tells her to get some rest.

In the hallway, Melissa blocks Benny, and asks him to come to her room; she knows he enjoyed it. He says he has to go. As he’s walking to the car, he zips up his pants, and Mitch and I both laugh. Mitch says that’s some crazy sh*t, and Benny tells him not to say anything. Mitch says homegirl won’t either. He says she’s touched, but sexy. Mitch still thinks Benny should work Veronica. Benny says she’s watching through the window; dude, drive.

Hanna arrives at Kathryn’s place – a gigantic old mansion. Kathryn shows Hanna around, and says it’s a new day. She’s embracing her femininity, and no more dark brown. She got married there, and shows Hanna the grand staircase she walked down. She still has good memories. Distant, but good  Hanna says it’s beautiful, and Kathryn says it should be, it cost enough.

She takes Hanna to the kitchen, and introduces her to Joanne. Kathryn tells Joanne that Hanna knos everything about her and her family. She practically is family. Hanna is going to show her the rope. Hanna says she knows how hard it is to learn a new family. Derek walks in and Kathryn says Hanna remembers him, right? Derek says he was working there, and Hanna is like, sure you were. Kathryn wants to take Joanne upstairs to show her something. She tells Derek that Hanna makes the best tea ever, and to stay for some. Hanna tells Derek that Kathryn thinks she’s slick, trying to get them to go out. He says he told her that Hanna turned him down, but didn’t tell her why, because Hanna didn’t tell him why. She says she has a lot going on, but he thinks that’s no excuse. He just asked her to have coffee. She says they’re going to have tea. She’ll make it, and if can be their coffee date. It’s not what he had in mind, but okay. Derek tells Hanna that he’s a widower, and has three kids; boys in college who play sports. He was married for thirty years until she died from cancer. She was a funny woman, who told him not to sweat the small stuff. He says, His eyes are on the sparrow, and Hanna asks if he goes to church. He’s a deacon, but she goes to a different church. He tells her to stop by. She tells him that she’s sorry for brushing him off. She prejudged him, thinking he was a dog. They laugh, and she says he seemed like he was on the prowl. He asks if he looked that desperate, and says he needs to work on that. He tells Hanna that he’s lonely; he misses his wife. Hanna says he’s a good-looking man. There must be plenty of prospects at church. She says Kathryn meant well, and asks if he was really fixing anything, or was it a setup? Derek says he did fix something yesterday, and Kathryn said she was coming over, so he came back. How about if they have tea, and see how they feel?

I just love watching these people work. This is real acting, and I’ll bet I never see one of them carrying a coffee cup that’s supposed to be full like it’s empty.

Candace is put in cell with Quita look, who says, who locked up now? Candace tells her to shut her mouth. Quita says they finally got her for what she did to Quincy. Candace says she doesn’t know what Quita is talking about. Quita says Candace killed her brother, and her ass is gonna fry. Candace says the only thing that’s frying is Quita’s brain from all that crack. Quita tells Candace that she better be scared of the electric chair. She says Quincy was good to Candace. Candace says he was an abusive psycho. Quita says he loved her, that’s why he hit her. He told her that he loved Candace every day. Candace applauds, saying she’s so glad. Quita says she stabbed him, but Candace says she doesn’t know what Quita is talking about. Quita says Quincy didn’t even get a proper funeral. She buried him in the backyard like he’s a nobody. She tells Candace, what goes around come on back around. She says it came back fast. Candace killed her brother, and now look her son. Candace tells her shut up. Quita says it happened because of what Candace did to her brother. Her son was shot dead in a bathroom. Candace attacks her, and the prisoners go nuts.

Next time, the DA talks to Candace, Oscar bails out Quita, and Veronica and Benny get busy.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I have to mention that the dress LVP wears in the opening credits is absolutely stunning, and probably one of the best I’ve seen on any of the Wives shows. It’s a glittery copper-colored gown, with straps on top and a full skirt. Simple in design, and it looks amazing on her.

The ladies gather in the kitchen at Teddi’s beach house. Dorit thanks Teddi, saying what a fun night it was, and we see a clip of everyone acting goofy. Erika ended up leaving. LVP doesn’t know why she needed to check into the hotel for stomach cramps, except those weren’t the kind of cramps she said she had. Kyle took Erika’s room, and Dorit says she had first dibs. Erica returns, and Kyle tells her she missed the fun; they were all ridiculous. In her interview, Dorit thought the first topic would be Erika leaving, since they’d talked about it the night before.

Teddi’s trainer Alex arrives, and gets the girls joggling in place, sans Erika and Dorit. In her interview, Dorit says she talked about Erika to the others last year without talking directly to her, and doesn’t want to get caught in that trap again. She tells Erika that she’d rather wait until the others are done, but she wants to be super honest. She tells Erika a couple of the girls were mad that she left. Erika wants to know who it was, and Dorit dances around it, but finally tells Erika that it was Kyle and Teddi. We see a clip of Teddi being annoyed that it was last minute. Erika isn’t too pleased about it. She had intentions of staying, but wasn’t feeling well, and doesn’t know what the big deal was.

Erika ambushes Kyle as soon as she comes in, asking if she was mad about her leaving, and saying that Dorit told her they’d had a discussion. Kyle wonders what sh*t Dorit was stirring up while the rest of them were working out. Teddi says it was weird that Erika said she was staying, and then didn’t. Erika thinks it’s weird she should care. (In all fairness, Teddi did have to prepare the rooms.) Teddi said she’s not mad, but she was just confused. Camille tells Dorit being a tattletale isn’t cool, and everyone should have been involved. In her interview, Camille wonders what Dorit is trying to do. Erika sys didn’t want to bleed all over the sheets. Teddi says it’s becoming a bigger deal than it should be. Camille says it’s because someone tattletaled (my spellcheck – which is pretty liberal – does not recognize that as a word).

Dorit tells Camille that it’s silly, but Camille doesn’t agree with some of the things she says or does. She says things to get attention, and it’s not cool. She can’t keep her mouth shut. She doesn’t think Dorit should have said anything. Teddi says everyone thought it was weird, and now she has to defend herself. In her interview, Teddi says If you’re not okay with it, don’t do weird sh*t. Erika is weepy, and Teddi says the only thing bothering her is that Erika feels badly. Erika brushes her off, saying she doesn’t need any more petting, when Teddi tries to touch her. I’m thinking she’s just emotional because she has her period. Geez.

It’s quiet in the kitchen. Dorit doesn’t think either of them should be upset, and Erika says it’s not personal. Teddi says she didn’t take it personally, but she extended an olive branch, and Erika blew it off, making her feel like sh*t. Erika says it’s her being hurt and embarrassed. Teddi says she’s been confronted like she did something wrong, when all she did was say it was weird. LVP feels badly for Teddi. She’s uncomfortable with entertaining in the first place, and the high-maintenance women are validating her fears. Teddi suggests calling it a day. In her interview, Kyle says no one was mad or said Erika was a bitch. There was nothing Dorit needed to repeat. Teddi thanks them for coming.

LisaR is on the set of The Middle. I’m not a sitcom person, but that show makes me laugh. She says yesterday was a long one, and over 100 degrees. She hasn’t done a sitcom in a while, and her comedy is rusty. She says I’s hard to do the whole day in the heat, and then your closeup is the last one. She’s been through it all on the soaps. She says you learn from your mistakes, and she’s learned a lot.

Everyone packs up. Teddi says she might need Kyle to talk her through Fashion Week. Erika says she’s sorry Teddi’s feelings were hurt, and it was embarrassing for her. Teddi says she had the same feelings when she tried to reach out to Erika.

In the car, LVP says Teddi is trying to hold it together; they’ve all been there. Kyle asks Dorit why, and Dorit says Erika asked her who said it. Kyle says everybody said it, and Erika didn’t single Kyle out, Dorit did. We flash back to Dorit even saying Erika’s abrupt departure was weird. Kyle says everyone thought it was odd. In her interview, Kyle says we all have moments of saying someone did something strange, but you don’t approach them about it the next day. Dorit says it wasn’t a big deal, but can become one. LVP says it just did.

Erika is back home with Tom. Tom has been doing well since the accident, but he’s still working from home. Erika says, in some ways, it’s kind of nice. She tells him about writing her book and writing some new music, and that it’s great, but overwhelming. She doesn’t know how he manages so much; what he does is massive. He says they appreciate each other. She says learned a lot from him. He’s impressed that Simon and Schuster sought her out. He says it means a lot. She’s excited, yet intimidated. She knows no one in the literary world, and is a fish out of water.

LisaR is accompanying Amelia and Delilah to Fashion Week in NYC. LisaR says there’s so much going on, her head is spinning. How this is different from any other time, I don’t know. Amelia wants to spend time with mom, and LisaR says her mom packed her off with a hug and smile. She wants to be able to do the same, no matter how hard it is for her.

PK’s parents are staying a while. Dorit says the kids love their grandparents, but don’t get to see them as often as they’d like. To have both sets to look after PK while she’s gone is a bonus, because he’s five.

Teddi comes to Kyle’s store. She needs what to wear help for Fashion Week. Kyle is having a party at her store in NYC.

PK asks Dorit how she got on with Teddi. Dorit says Erika wasn’t feeling well, and wanted to go to hotel, and it became a big deal. She’s having anxiety over the NYC trip. PK’s mother says time heals, and people won’t remember. Obviously, she doesn’t know this group at all.

Teddi says she couldn’t care less, and wasn’t like Dorit didn’t say something too. Kyle thinks it’s a crafty way of outing them, and stepping away from the fire. Kyle gives Teddi some things to try on. In her interview, Teddi explains that her babysitter is a stylist, and matches her outfits. Kyle puts on a very cute black lace minidress. She’s having fun unleashing Teddi’s inner fashionista. Teddi calls Edwin, and Kyle yells that all the money is gone. Teddi tells him any purchases are Kyle’s fault. She says he couldn’t care less, but it’s her own issue.

Giggy! Harrison! The ladies get ready for the trip to NYC. I wonder if anyone from the NYC cast will cross over. Omg, Lisa’s closet. Erika’s closet. Words can’t even describe them.

Dorit is hosting Bella magazine’s party because she’s on the cover. PK can’t come because he’s closing the deals on her swimwear line. He can’t believe she’s leaving him with all the parents and the kids. Just number him in the latter category.

LisaR shows us Delilah’s apartment. Which has no furniture unless you count clothes all over the floor. They go shopping, and LisaR finds some giant acrylic decorative capsules. We flash back to her pulling out her bag of pills. In her interview, she says she got hand me downs for her first apartment. I got the furniture that was already there. Delilah talks about having a clogged toilet, and not knowing what to do without her dad. LisaR tells us about the cockroaches in her first place, and how this is a whole other level. Yep. I had those too. God bless whoever invented Combat.

Kyle and LVP are going to store, and meeting the others at the hotel later. Erika talks about being eighteen in NYC and not going out until midnight or one a.m., and not getting home until six. She doesn’t think she’ll live there again; LA is easy. Funny, I think just the opposite.

Kyle greets store partner Lizzy when they get to the store. We see the space pre-store, and it was a shamble. Kyle says when she first saw it, she didn’t think they could create such a beautiful store. She tells LVP about the designers she carries. In her interview, she says she and LVP are supportive of each other. They have a history, and friendship isn’t something to be tossed away when something goes wrong.

The ladies meet for dinner. Camille shows us a picture of when she was on MTV as a youngster. LisaR says the girls are going to casting calls with big directors, and it’s humbling to know it’s not just you. They order deviled eggs, and I suddenly want one. Not so much the tuna tartare tacos. I like tuna tartare, but why mess it up with a crunchy shell around it?

Kyle buys some earrings from herself.

Erika asks if they filled LisaR in on the latest. She tells Dorit to go on and tell what happened. Dorit tells LisaR about the dinner with Kyle that LVP walked out of. Erika says very Alexis Carrington. Camille is diplomatic, but Erika says they’re competitive. In her interview, Erika thinks LVP loves them competing for her affection. Dorit talks about LVP and Kyle “getting into it” somewhat at the beach house, and Teddi says there wasn’t going to be a resolution. Then it comes. Dorit tells them about Kyle being outspoken regarding Erika leaving. In her interview, Camille says, here we go again. She can’t help herself. Teddi says she can only speak for herself, but she thought it was weird for Erika to go through the motions as though she was staying, and then leave. LisaR thinks the way they’re dealing with it is weird. Erika says Erika is going to do what Erika wants until the day Erika dies. Camille says there was a lot going on before she got there. Erika tells them that she drove down with LVP, who said she’d felt brushed aside. Camille asks if she might have felt ignored, and Dorit says she does. LVP told her privately that she feels when they’re in a group that Dorit doesn’t include her, and also talks over her. In her interview, Teddi says kindly SYFU. Dorit says she might have said she felt jealous. LisaR asks if she’s saying anything that she wouldn’t say to LVP’s face, and Dorit says she’d say it all to her. In her interview, LisaR worries for Dorit, bcause LVP isn’t going to be happy with what she said.

Next time, Erika wears sunglasses to die for when she meets with her publishers, Kyle talks to LVP about what Dorit said, Dorit confronts LVP, and Kyle confronts Dorit.

💮 I noticed reruns from the first season of Too Close to Home on TLC. Could this mean it’s coming back?

🌹 The Gown



February 12, 2018 – After the Funeral, Two Birthdays, an Atlanta Mention, a Creepy Town & the Visible Man


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

At the cemetery, Lulu says she’s sorry abut Maxie’s loss. Maxie says she should be; she killed him. Lulu asks how she can say that. Maxie says Lulu wanted to be the next big thing; journalism’s next superstar. She asks if Lulu got her story, and what the going rate is for her husband’s life.

At The Floating Rib, Anna asks if Felicia and Mac need anything. Felicia tells her, a time machine. Yeah, we could all use one of those.

Kim goes to Charlie’s to get take-out. Julian tells her they have couple’s dinners available for Valentine’s Day, and gives her the menu to check out. She says it’s a little over the top for her son.

Finn and Alexis are leaving an AA meeting at the hospital. Finn asks Alexis if he agrees to buy coffee, will she get off his back about sharing? She says she will, if he’ll add telling her one significant detail.

Sam asks Drew why the staring contest with Franco. He wonders why he’s making Franco nervous. Franco suggests to Elizabeth that they leave, but she wants to wait for Maxie to get there. Mac wonders where Maxie is.

Lulu tells Maxie that she didn’t fire the gun. Maxie says she didn’t shoot Nathan, but she put him in a position to be shot. And for what? A stupid article? A pat on the back from her boss? Lulu says she understands Maxie’s heart is breaking and needs to lash out, but Maxie says, no; she needs her husband. She tells Lulu don’t dare cry, and Lulu says she loved Nathan too. Maxie says she used him to advance her career. She actually believed she’d become a prize-winning journalist after two weeks. Her ego knows no bounds. She exploited Nathan. She knew he wanted to get Faison away from his family, and Nathan agreed because she put the idea in his head, making him think it was the only way when it was just her way. Peter listens from behind some bushes, looking pained. Maxie says Lulu did it to get an interview, and she knows it’s true. Dante says they’re not doing this, and Maxie tells him she knows he told Lulu to leave it to the police. Lulu says Nathan was the police, but Maxie says, no. He was a husband and father-to-be who would do anything to protect his family, and she took advantage of that. Why not? She had nothing to lose. She risked nothing, and in turn took everything from Maxie.

Oscar and Josslyn enter Oscar’s apartment. He tells Josslyn she has to be fast; his mom will be home soon. She asks what if she hurts him, but he tells her to hurry.

Finn wants to go to Charlie’s, but Alexis says Julian is Charlie. Finn wonders when that happened, and says he has to get online more. He asks if she wants to go somewhere else, but she says, let’s just do it.

Franco ponders the rabbit’s foot. Drew asks how it’s going. Franco says it’s a funeral, and leaves the table.

Spinelli tells Anna that his deepest regret is not finding Faison sooner, and Anna agrees it would have played out differently. He asks if she’s still looking for Henrik, and she says, absolutely. He could be planning on picking up where his father left off. Spinelli says Henrik’s trail is as cold as Faison himself. Anna tells him that no one can stay lost forever.

Dante wants Lulu to leave, but she says she needs to make Maxie understand. Maxie says, of course that’s her response. No I’m sorry; no I was wrong, and made the biggest mistake of my life. It’s Maxie’s problem, and Lulu has to make her see she’s right and Maxie is wrong because Lulu is always right. The one thing that could bring her closure is Lulu admitting her part, but she’ll never get it. It’s not Lulu’s style or in the Spencer DNA. Lulu says she admits it when she’s wrong, and Maxie asks when was the last time she did that. Lulu asks if she wants an example, and Maxie says she does, but she doubts Lulu will be able to find one. When Maxie screwed up, she felt terrible and apologized over and over until Lulu forgave her, but she’ll never get that from Lulu. Her ability to feel regret or remorse doesn’t exist. She’s incapable of it, and also a murderer, but a morally superior one, so there’s that.

Lulu says she can’t mean it. She asks Maxie to talk, but Maxie says it’s not her job to make it better for Lulu. Nina tells Lulu to stop; she’s done enough. She tells Lulu to please go, and leads Maxie away. Dante takes Lulu in the opposite direction. Nina asks if Maxie is okay, and suggests they go to the reception. Maxie doesn’t want to leave him; she doesn’t know how to do this. She asks Nina to please tell her how. Nina doesn’t know, but they’ll figure it out together. They hug, and Valentin takes Nina’s hand.

Drew tells Franco that he thought the condolences went well. Franco says the whole thing is sad and awful. Drew asks if Franco is avoiding him.

Julian tells Kim that she’s not walking home alone. She says a free drink, take out, and delivery, and Julian says he aims to please. She says, or make someone jealous. She sees him staring at Alexis, and he says he’s just making sure the customers have what need. Kim hands him the bags to carry. At first, he acts like the bags heavy, giving me hope that one of the actors gets it, but then, not so much. (sigh) Finn asks Alexis about getting something to eat, but she says she’s not hungry.

Peter stands by Nathan’s grave with tears in his eyes. He says it’s strange to say goodbye when they weren’t formally introduced; not as brothers at least. He wishes he’d known Nathan. He seemed like a good man; loving, kind, heroic – all the things their father wasn’t. He says it’s so clear how much Maxie loves him. He’s tempted to say he was a lucky man. He’s truly sorry that his luck ran out.

At The Floating Rib, Anna tells Maxie it was an honorable send off for an honorable man. Maxie looks at the pictures, and says she knows how much Nathan loved her. Sam tells her that she was great today. Nathan would be proud. Maxie excuses herself, and tells Nina that she can’t be there. Everyone is so sad and sorry. Nina tells her to take care of herself. Felicia wants to take her home, but she wants to be alone. After she leaves, Spinelli tells them that what Maxie says she wants and what she needs are often different things. Mac tells him to take care of their girl, and he follows Maxie.

Franco thought Drew would prefer he keep his distance, and Drew says he does. He asks how long Franco has known Jim. Franco says as long as Drew has, since they were little kids. Drew asks if Franco recognized him, but Franco says it was the other way around. Jim showed up at his studio. Drew wonders why he wouldn’t have said something about meeting someone from their past. Franco says there is no “our past,” just the past. The were toddlers, and don’t remember. Drew asks to see the rabbit’s foot.

Valentin sees Anna in the hallway. She asks how Nina is doing, and he says as would be expected. He wants to help, but can’t. Anna says he’s helping more than he knows. She tells him that she’s still processing their conversation. He wonders if there’s anything he can do or any questions he can answer. She asks why keep quiet? He hated her for so long, and all this time, had ammunition at his disposal. If anyone found out she had Faison’s child, it would kill her career and damage her personal life. He had the means to take her down, and didn’t. What stopped him? He says there’s a thin line between love and hate. He loved her, hated her, and everything in between, but could never bring himself to destroy her.

Josslyn is in front of Oscar, who’s sitting on a stool. She’s doing something, but we don’t see what. Kim comes into the apartment with Julian, and Oscar and Josslyn scramble around; Oscar running into the kitchen. Josslyn asks why Julian is there, and he says, love you too. Oscar messes around in the kitchen, and Kim asks what he’s doing. He says grabbing some food, and she tells him to say hello to their guest. He walks over, and we see he has a black eye. I laugh because I thought Josslyn was waxing his eyebrows or something.

Alexis says there seems to have been an uptake in Finn’s attendance at AA meetings, and asks if it’s because of Anna. Finn says he has a tendency not to know what has until it’s gone. Dante and Lulu come in. Lulu tells Dante it won’t shut off. It’s not just the words, but the way Maxie said them. Maxie hates her. So do I. Her point?

Maxie hesitates before going into the apartment. She finally does, and sits on the couch without taking off her coat. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Spinelli, and she asks what he’s doing there. He says her mother was right; she shouldn’t be alone. She says, but she is.

Elizabeth asks Franco if everything is okay, and he tells her Drew was just asking to see the rabbit’s foot. Elizabeth asks why, and Drew thinks he recognizes it. Franco hands it to him. Sam says, anything? Drew says, no, but he appreciates it.

Anna thanks Valentin. Felicia sees them in the hall, but goes back inside. Anna is grateful he kept quiet. She asks if he knows where her daughter is, and if he kept track of her, but he says he only knew what the midwife told him. It was a private adoption; no birth certificate, and no records exist. She went to a good family, and has a good life where Faison doesn’t exist. If Anna found her, she would have to tell her the truth. She says, Robin too; it would turn her life upside down for a multitude of reasons. Valentin says she knows what she has to do.

Oscar tells Kim that he got in a fight. Kim says, that’s clear, but with who? He asks if she remembers the friend he told her about that identifies as a girl, and says he stood up for her. She says next time, tell a teacher, and don’t provoke the bully. He says there wasn’t any time. Josslyn says if he hadn’t stepped in, their friend would have been seriously hurt. Kim says she cares about her son, not their friend.

Finn tells Alexis that he keeps making the same mistake over and over. She asks who left who, and he says this time, it was all Anna. It’s like she opens a door with one hand, and slams it shut with the other.

Dante tells Lulu that he was with Nathan every day. Nathan wanted Faison caught. Lulu admits she pushed him about the interview until he gave in. She should have stayed out of it. Dante takes her hand.

Spinelli gives Maxie some tea. She asks if he thinks it’s strange that she didn’t want Georgie at the funeral. He says on the contrary. She was looking out for their daughter, who is too little to understand what transpired. She also would have missed her school outing. Maxie brightens a little, and says, her first field trip. Spinelli tells her that Georgie went to the Portland zoo, but she doesn’t have to only imagine it. She asks if he has a video, but he was referring to her coming home with him. Their guest room goes unused, and Georgie would be ecstatic to spend more time with her. She tells him that going to Portland won’t make her forget that her husband is dead.

Peter looks for Maxie, and Sam tells him it was too much for her. He says it’s understandable. Drew and Sam hope he’s had a chance to regroup, and rethink leaving. They’re not shutting any doors.

Valentin tells Anna that she made a bold choice. Does she continue going forward with the consequences, or pass it on to her children? He gives her some advice that he ultimately borrowed from her. Let the past be the past. They’ve all made mistakes. The difference between him and her is that she wants to be better; so be better. She wonders if it will be enough, and he says it will have to be. He leaves to be with Nina.

As the kids are leaving, Julian tosses Oscar the bag of frozen peas. Josslyn says she’ll tell her stepdad that he said hello. Kim asks if Sonny is a friend of his, and he says, not exactly.

Finn asks Alexis, where is he supposed to go with this?

Maxie tells Spinelli she can’t jet off to Portland and forget Nathan. She forgot before, when she could have been at home instead of wasting precious time. She’s not wasting more by running away. Not feeling the loss, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Spinelli says he wasn’t suggesting that. She knows he was just trying to help, but don’t. She tells him don’t show up either. He doesn’t understand what happens when she hears a knock or footsteps or the elevator door. Every moment of every day is a reminder that Nathan is gone. All the brief, blissful moments of hope are the hardest to get over. She needs to be there until she does. She doesn’t need reminders. It’s horrifyingly real, and he can’t help her with that. She tells him to leave. He kisses her forehead and goes.

Peter tells Nina how sorry he is. She introduces him to Valentin. Valentin says it’s kind of him to come, and he says they’re all family at Aurora. Nina leaves them to help Felicia. Valentin says he hopes Peter has reconsidered leaving town. Some people might get suspicious. Peter thinks Valentin is overestimating his importance, but Valentin says Drew is going to follow every lead. Peter says there were complications, and Valentin says it was a shame about Nathan being collateral damage. He tells Peter to trust him, since he’s always looked out for him in the past.

Lulu tells Dante she has to quit her job. He says she loves it, but she says she loves Maxie more, and needs to make this right.

Alexis tells Finn she’s a master of mixed signals, both giving and getting them. She says that people can hold mixed truths in their hearts. If Anna is finding it that hard to keep away, she’s not ready.

Kim tells Julian that Oscar is her everything. He’s all she has. Julian says that’s not entirely true. She says she has her work, and it’s meaningful, but he says she also has friends.

Elizabeth asks where the rabbit’s foot came from, and Franco tells her it was in a box with his stuff from New York. It’s been with him ever since. She says it’s done it’s job. They’re happy, in love, and about to get married. Who’s luckier than them?

Sam tells Drew to remember the last time he got that familiar feeling. It was about Kim, and she ended up being a big part of his life. The rabbit’s foot could be a missing piece of the puzzle.

Felicia says she saw Anna talking to Valentin, and asks if she should be worried. Anna says it’s taken decades, and they have no more wars to fight.

Nina places a ticket stub from the Natural History Museum on Nathan’s grave. She talks to Valentin about taking Nathan there, and thanks him for bringing her. She needed one more chance to say goodbye. He tells her that he’s been in a lot of dangerous situations, but he never met someone as brave as she’s been today. She says she doesn’t feel brave. He tells her that she doesn’t have to, and holds her.

Maxie put on Nathan’s jacket and smells it. She talks to the baby, saying she’s so sorry. Sorry the baby won’t get to meet the dad who would have loved them; he already did. She’s sorry she lost it earlier, and hopes she didn’t scare the baby by freaking out about the future. She swears its mom isn’t psycho, just sad and angry. She’ll pull it together. It’s what the baby’s dad would have wanted. He’d want her to sing songs and make the baby laugh, like he was looking forward to doing. She’ll do it for both of them. It’s not the same, and they’ll always miss him, but she thinks if they’re brave and lean on each other, they’ll get through it and be okay.

Tomorrow, Robin thanks Jason for killing Faison, Michael says he’s selling the building, and Sonny tells Mike he’s not going anywhere.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi and Katie go shopping at Dapper Cadaver. Stassi is having a death/murder-themed birthday party, and I guess this is the place to go. She’s celebrating the death of her 20s. When she dies, she wants to be taxidermized with a glass of wine in her hand and let people take photos with her. I actually think this is a cool idea. She has a list of the various items she wants to get, and goes over the guest list with Katie. In her interview, she tells us that Patrick blocked her when he went to Amsterdam. She tried sexting him, he turned her down, and she got angry, telling him she was going to find someone else. He’s finally unblocked her, so she’s hoping he comes to the party. She thinks she and Ariana having the same birthday is like Bride Wars.

Billie, Scheana, Lala, and Ariana go outfit shopping. Ariana is having a kings and queens party, because she’s a queen. I could make a lot of jokes here, but I’ll leave it. The girls look through the fabulous dresses, lingerie, and accessories. Billie tells Ariana that her 30s is her prime, but Ariana says she’s not having sex. In her interview, she says she’s not a fan of her nether regions. Really. She said that.

Tom and Schwartz go to the restaurant site. Today is the day to find out if the permits are approved. Without them, they can’t start the construction. Tom says they’ve been through a lot of ups and downs, and we flash back to those. Lisa and Ken arrive. Lisa says Tom smells like alcohol. He tells her the triplets are on their way home, but last night they went to a strip club and made it rain. Lisa wonders if Schwartz’s wife knows he went to a strip club. She tells them the permits have been approved, and they start Monday. Tom counts it among one of the best days of his life. He writes a check, but tells Lisa not to cash it until the end of the month. Schwartz is having PTSD from writing the check for the wedding. That’s why they catch you at the end for that. You’re a little drunk, so it doesn’t hurt as much. He didn’t say that last part. It’s my personal observation.

Ariana visits therapist Julia. She says it’s long overdue. She wants to do more to help herself and get her head right. She tells Julia about her self-criticism, and how it’s amplified over the years. Her ex-boyfriend added to the problem. She says in the beginning, she thought it was a fling, but he wanted her to stay, and after she moved in, held it over her head because she had no money. Julia asks about her support system, and she says Tom is a true partner. Julia wonders about marriage and family, and Ariana says she never wants to give birth. Her goal is to just be able to function without so much anxiety. In her interview, she wants to communicate her feelings to Tom, but doesn’t want him to think it’s him. She tells Julia she’s frozen. Well, let it go then. BA-DUM-CHH!

James, Lala, Brittany, and Schwartz go to Villa Rosa to discuss World Dog Day. Lisa wanted a festival that was diametrically opposed to the Yulan dog meat festival. In his interview, James says it’s not the most extravagant or exciting gig he’s had, but on the road to success, you have to pay your dues. Lisa suggests Schwartz make out with the guests for a fifty-cent donation. Brittany asks if Lisa is coming to either of the parties, but she doesn’t have the time. Giggy! Schwartz tells her that she wouldn’t have to dress up for Ariana’s party, since she’s already a queen. Once again, I have to squelch my jokes.

Lisa asks Brittany to stay behind. She wants to talk about Jax. Lisa says it’s been challenging to say the least, and she doesn’t want him there tomorrow. She tells Brittany that she doesn’t want him anywhere near her.

Tom makes breakfast and serves it to Ariana. He asks how therapy was. She says she’s a work in progress, but she’s glad he stuck around. He says he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her, but when they first started dating, they had sex all the time. In his interview, he says he understands the excitement dies down, but thinks she’s afraid to tell him. He tells her that he knows the newness wears off, but she says the only thing that wears off is confidence; there’s no pretending. He thinks she felt it more back then, but she begs to differ, telling him she was just saying it to impress him. In her interview, she says she knows it must be confusing for him. Ariana isn’t thrilled that they haven’t been spending much time together. Tom says he got a high off of helping Tom’s brothers and we see clips. He gets that some things turn her off, but she says there’s no closeness if they don’t do things together. In her interview, she says when he does other things, it makes her think he doesn’t want her. He tells her that he can’t read her mind.

Katie does Stassi’s makeup. She says she wants to be a hot dead girl, and is going for shot-in-the-head chic. Kristen says they’re like sluts in a morgue. Katie tells them about Kevin Lee bringing her flowers, and we see a clip. He tells her that he’s sorry, and she tells him that he should never make comments about weight to anybody. Ever. She tells the girls it was awkward. His apology doesn’t affect her, but she feels badly for him.

Tom loves dressing up and going over the top. Jax stops by while Tom is trying on costumes. He tells Tom that he and Brittany decided on prom king and queen. He’s wearing a prom style tux, and stopping by Burger King for a crown on the way there. Tom puts in creepy white contacts. Brittany calls, and lets Jax know about Lisa not wanting him at World Dog Day. He doesn’t know why Lisa is holding a grudge when others have done worse. I hate that. I hate when people won’t take responsibility, and try to deflect by pointing at someone else. He tells her just go without him. She says he’ll miss the beauty pageant, and Tom adds there are a lot of hot bitches there.

It’s party time! We visit Ariana’s party first. Tom, wearing a Maleficent costume, introduces Queen Ariana, who is dressed in gold with a huge spiky crown. James says everyone is killing it with the costume game tonight. I would agree, but Scheana and Lala are basically dressed in lingerie and wearing crowns. I’m not sure if that qualifies as a costume. Lala says she’s never missing one of Ariana’s birthdays again. Billie tells Tom that she’s heard amazing things about his drag, and we flash back to that.

Schwartz says Stassi put her name on the party – it’s macabre. He thinks the scariest thing is the ranch dressing fountain, and has no doubt people will put their fingers in it by the end of the night. Peter brings a bottle of Dom Perignon from Lisa and Ken. Stassi is thrilled, since a year or so ago, she would have gotten a bag of Giggy’s flaming dog poopy. Patrick comes in wearing a man bun, which is scarier than everything else combined. Stassi’s mother asks how the trip was, and Patrick says he had a great time. Stassi feels like she’s walking on eggshells, trying to make things work. Her best solution is to drink. She orders Jager bombs all around. Bleh. I think that’s even worse than the fountain. It tastes like cough medicine.

Jax tells Billie that he’s not going to Stassi’s party. He doesn’t want to be around the anxiety; he’s trying to surround himself with better people. Ariana tells Tom that experiencing things together is a huge thing for her, and he apologizes. He says he needs her; she’s his foundation. Well, that beats saying she completes him. It kills him that she’s doubting herself and being self-conscious. He tells her that she’s his number one, and she says ditto. She says if she doesn’t feel the closeness, it’s hard to get busy. They kiss. She says he’s not perfect, and she’s a work in progress (all right already), and she wants to be close to him. He suggests they make magic happen, and she asks if she can keep her crown on.

Katie tells Patrick that he and Stassi need to stop breaking up and making up. He says he doesn’t care if she has sex with other people, but he doesn’t want her to have emotional commitment with anyone else. Kristen says Stassi has always been the conductor in relationships, but with Patrick, she’s second fiddle.

Ariana’s brother, Jeremy, is wearing a little crown that reminds me of Blaine and Antoine (Men on Film) on In Living Color. He takes the mic, and wishes Ariana a happy birthday. The cake comes out, and Ariana tells everyone how glad she is they came. She breaks up a plastic crown, and tosses the pieces out like in Mean Girls. She says she’s not a queen amongst peasants; they’re all royalty.

Katie has brought in Arielle the stripper from her party in in Las Vegas, and wants Stassi to take a shot off of her body. Stassi says she wanted her as a guest, not a serving tray, and declines. She’s nervous about Patrick being there, because they’ve been fighting, and she’s effed-up on Adderall and tequila. She walks outside. Kristen and Katie follow. She tells them she hasn’t been able to talk to Patrick the entire night, and she’s annoyed by how everything turned out. They try to talk her into coming back in, but she tells them to go eff themselves; she’s leaving. Kristen says back in the day, she would have gone after Stassi, but she’s an adult. Get a grip and grow up.

It’s World Dog Day. This year, they’ve taken over the street where the rescue center is. Cute dogs everywhere! Brittany’s Monroe wins the beauty pageant, and title of VP Posh Pup. Brittany hopes it doesn’t go to Monroe’s head, since she can’t deal with two big-headed divas at home, the other one being Jax. Scheana asks Peter about Stassi freaking out at her party. He tells Ariana that Stassi was ticked off about the body shot. Ariana says this is why they’re not friends.

Brittany tells Lisa that Jax will have to do a lot of work before she ever makes him another sandwich. Brittany asks if Jax has texted, but Lisa says no. She tells Brittany his apology doesn’t cut it now. He was in enough trouble at the Beverly Hills Life party, but by not reaching out, he’s dug a deeper hole. Lisa says she supports them, and expects the same in return.  Stassi texts an apology to Katie. Katie says the meltdown was Stassi circa 2012, and immature bullsh*t. They also had to pick up a $1400 tab. Schwartz is surprised, thinking it had just been a mini meltdown.

This season, horses, dancing, the Toms are late for a meeting, Stassi thought it would be different with Patrick this time, drinking, more drinking, Tom doesn’t want to be around Katie, Brittany kicks Jax out, and Jax gets fired… maybe.

🍑 On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Porsha had a vegan dinner for the ladies, and Cynthia invited them all on a trip to Barcelona. Kenya seems somewhat separated from the pack this time around, probably due to being a newlywed and having an ongoing feud with Kim. I’m lukewarm about this season, but this episode did give me what could possibly be the best quote of the millennium:

💥 What kind of fraggle knackle bullcrap is this?Sheree Whitfield

🔪 I’m already loving Channel Zero: Butcher’s Block. In this latest effort, the plot revolves around an odd town with a strange history, where people keep disappearing. Sisters Zoe (Holland Rogan) and Alice (Olivia Riccardi) are making a fresh start there. Alice is a budding social worker, and Zoe is being treated for the “insidious onset” of schizophrenia, as well as battling a drug addiction. Landlady Louise (Krisha Fairchild) made it clear from the start that she wasn’t their mom, not even their cool aunt, but their landlady, yet she shared a joint and a story with Zoe not long after the girls arrived. Louise was also a reporter back in the day, and is working on a book about the town and the disappearances, her brother having been one of them. I adore her already, and hope she doesn’t meet an untimely end.

During Alice’s first day on the job, a child disappears while waiting to be picked up by CPS, vanishing inside her own home. Alice’s supervisor chalked it up to the mother running with the child, but Alice wasn’t so sure. That night, she followed a small, shadowy figure to an old park, thinking it was the little girl. At the entrance, she found Rutger Hauer instead, who was creepy, yet somehow grandfatherly. Out for his nightly walk, he told her his family once owned the park and he lives close by. Further into the woods, Alice discovered the figure, sitting at the bottom of a staircase that went nowhere, and what she had thought to be a little girl, was a little person, with a weird, unnerving baby’s face. It went after her with a mallet, but she was saved by a tall creature – what it would look like if Groot and the Visible Man had a baby – who took the whatever-it-was up the stairs. Later, Alice saw Louise’s research board for her book, which included a photo of the Peach family, who owned a lot of the town way back when. The focal point of the town is a huge brick building labeled Peach’s Meats with a logo of Joseph Peach’s face. He’s the family patriarch, and oddly enough, looks just like Rutger Hauer.

Zoe realized that Alice had concerns about following in her mental footsteps. Feeling smothered and weirded out – there’s also a nutcake lady running around town looking for scissors, which Louise has informed them not to give her – Zoe decides to book. While at the bus stop, she meets Joseph. Being musically inclined, I’m super aware of soundtracks (Vanderpump Rules always has a great one), and I almost fell off the couch when I heard Timothy by The Buoys in the background while Louise was working. For you youngsters, it was a hit in the 70s, written by Rupert Holmes, and is about some miners who eat one of their own when they become trapped. How this became a hit, who knows? but I do have it on a 45 somewhere. This clinched the deal for me with Louise. She also gave me the second-best quote:

🌏  When you set out to change the world, the world changes you.

Creepy babies, creepy Groots, staircases to nowhere, a strange landlady (her hobby is taxidermy) who smokes weed, a mysterious town, and Rutger Hauer. Seriously, what more could you want?

💀 The Visible Man

My sister had one of these when I was a kid, and I was fascinated with it.

Visible Man  Visible Man 2


February 6, 2018 – Alexis Gets Attacked By an Ad, Benny Gets Busy & LVP Steals the Comfy Chair


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Sonny tells Mike to admit he took the money. The last thing he wants to hear is that his dad is dead in the street. Mike says he’s just an obligation to Sonny; a mess he has to sweep up. He doesn’t know what happened to the money. Sonny says he’ll cover it, but Mike has to be straight with him. Who does he owe and how much is the grand total?

Dante looks at Nathan’s empty chair. Jordan asks why he’s at the station, and he says he just wanted to follow up something. She tells him he’s on leave for a reason; Nathan was his partner. She says the department recommends speaking with someone, but he thinks there’s no need. He wants to focus on Nathan’s family. Jordan says her door is always open.

Curtis picks up the tab for dinner with Stella. He says it’s the least he can do. She needs to save her money in case the developer takes over the community. She says that’s not going to happen. Today is the cut off for voter registration, and she’s going back to knocking on doors; she’s been at it all day. Curtis isn’t happy about her doing it alone, but she tells him Charles Street is safe. He thinks he should go with her, but she says she’ll be fine, and calls him a nag.

After Stella leaves, Curtis check his phone. There’s a text from TJ, asking if he’s seen this. He opens the file attachment, and says, damn.

At the hospital, Alexis tells Finn if he ever quits his day job, he can get something in stand-up. Deanna approaches them, and asks to talk to Alexis. She says she supports Alexis in the mayoral race, and thinks she needs to see something. She shows Alexis the computer, where a campaign ad is playing. The ad asks how Alexis can make tough calls when she hasn’t made the right choices in her private life. The ad shows pictures of Alexis and Julian, saying that Alexis married a known mobster. She’s wrong for Charles Street, wrong to fight organized crime, and wrong for Port Charles.

Kim goes to Charlie’s, where Julian reminds her that his name is Julian. She says he seems more like a Charlie. He tells her that he has some avocado toast with her name on it. She says the last thing she wants to do after a long shift is cook, and her son has a more active social life than she does, so it beats eating alone. He asks what’s keeping her from a better social life, and she says she hasn’t met anyone she’s been interested in. He says the bar is a place to meet people, and they smile at each other.

Anna checks Spyder Finder, but there are no results for Henrik Faison. She hears a baby crying in her mind. Robin comes in, startling her.

On Sonny’s mother’s grave, Mike swears he hasn’t gambled in seven years, and he’s proud of his chip. He made the drop like always, and asks if Sonny thinks he’s lying. Sonny doesn’t know what to think. Caruso needs him, so why tell him that Mike lost ten grand when he didn’t?

Julian is glad to see Kim; he thought she got scared away. She asks, over what, and he says his daughter being married to her son’s father. A small crowd of press runs in and descends on Julian. One of them asks if he has a response to the attack ad using him against Alexis.

The end of the ad says it was paid for by people who want to elect Ned. Deanna says it’s gone viral, and she thought Alexis should know. Alexis thanks her, and sees Diane called to warn her. Finn says all politicians lie, but she says it’s still persuasive. Finn tells her that he’s still registered at his old address, and she drags him into the elevator, saying she’s getting him registered in Port Charles. She needs all the votes she can get.

Jordan asks if Dante is still working on the embezzlement case, but he says he’s clearing Nathan’s desk, so Maxie doesn’t have to worry about it. Jordan says he doesn’t have to worry about it right now, but he tells her since he’s on desk duty, he might as well. He talks about when Nathan first joined them. He’d been on the fast track with New York’s finest, and he wondered why Nathan was there, thinking he wanted the glory without doing the work. Nathan pulled out a Yankees mug, and they got to talking. He realized they weren’t that different after all. He could trust Nathan with his life, and gave his family to him. He was half as close to his family as Nathan was. He says no one gets a cop like another cop. It feels like he’s lost a brother.

Anna forgot Robin was coming. Robin says she would have reminded Anna had she answered her texts. Felicia and Mac told her that Anna was all right; she was starting to worry. She says she’s heartbroken for Maxie, losing her husband to Faison, of all people. She didn’t know Nathan well, but knew he made Maxie happy. They have to be strong for her sake. She tells Anna that at the very least, Faison is out of their lives forever. She moves some pillows, and Anna grabs her laptop.

At The Floating Rib, Alexis tells Finn he can take the sticker off now. He says he didn’t really want to be a walking billboard for civic responsibility anyway. Alexis says she didn’t expect Ned go that low, but Finn tells her not to assume he endorsed it, since there are often independent groups who make ads. Alexis says, except everything it said was correct.

A reporter asks Julian how he feels with his past being weaponized against Alexis. He tells them no comment, and Curtis steps in. He tells them they have five seconds to get out before he calls the police, and shows them the door. Kim says that was unexpected, and Julian wonders what it was about. Curtis tells him that he just saw an attack ad against Alexis, and Julian had a starring role. Kim asks why they’re using him, and Julian says, long story. He suggest he tells her over dinner, and asks her to join him.

Anna tells Robin that she’s doing confidential research for the bureau. Robin asks if it’s something about Faison or forensic research. Maybe she’s not sure he’s gone? Anna says he’s definitely gone; she confirmed it. Faison will never be a threat again. Robin says she hates Obrecht, but for the first time, she understands her. Obrecht gave up Nathan to protect his welfare. Trying to be a good mother was more important than the twisted game she was playing with Faison.

Dante tells Jordan that Nathan was there for them, and all he can think about is the kid he left behind. What if it happens to him, and Rocco is left without a father? Jordan tells him to go home and be with his family, and tomorrow they’ll honor his partner. The desk sergeant says there was an assault on Charles Street, and the perp is on the way in. An officer brings in a cuffed Stella.

She tells Jordan to do something. A man tried to steal her purse. A bedraggled dude says this woman assaulted him, but she says she put her self-defense training to good use. He’ll think twice before mugging another woman on Charles Street. She says she was working on voter registration, when the streetlights went out. Then this reprobate (one of my favorite words) tried to take her purse. The guy claims he thought she needed help, and she asks if he thought so when she clocked him. He says she just admitted assaulting him, and Stella says they struggled over her purse before the cops showed up. He’s a double disgrace, attacking an innocent woman. The guy says there’s nothing innocent about her. Jordan calls Curtis, and asks him to come to the station.

Mike tells Sonny maybe one of Caruso’s guys is skimming. Sonny says he’ll take care of it later; Mike is the priority. Mike says he’s fine, and Sonny asks why he took a bag man job? Mike says he needs to make living; he doesn’t exactly have a pension. Sonny says he can give him money, but Mike tells him a son isn’t supposed to support his father. Sonny says he’d rather give him money than worry. Mike says there’s been no problem until this week, but Sonny wants to stop the problem before it starts. He offers to give Mike an allowance, and says he’ll take care of Caruso later. Mike asks if he’s sticking around a few days.

Anna tells Robin about a drunk Obrecht coming to see her after Nathan went public about being Faison’s son. She seemed terrified. Despite her obsession, or maybe because of it, she understood the threat. Anna wishes she’d paid more attention and done something more. Robin says she’s not responsible. Faison came for his son, not her. The whole nightmare is finally over. No more head games; just peace. She’s sorry Anna had to go through it alone, but Anna says she didn’t. She, Jason, and Sonny were an affective team. Robin says she doesn’t want to gloat under the circumstances, and Anna tells her not to get carried away.

Alexis tells Finn the information was slanted to suit the opposition’s agenda, but it’s not entirely wrong; she’s mad bad choices. Finn says it’s true she’s no saint, but he’d be suspicious of any candidate who came off as perfect. Her past made her stronger, and Ned’s privileged life has made him no match for her. Kim and Julian walk in.

Curtis tells Stella that she had no business walking by herself. She tells him not to blame her, but the guy who tried to rob her. Curtis says he intends to have a few words with homeboy. Jordan says there’s a discrepancy between their stories, and Dante said there’s a store camera, but it was out too. Jordan believes Stella, but there’s no corroborating evidence, and his injury validates his claim. Curtis says unless she can prove her side, it might not end well for her.

Sonny tells Mike it’s all settled. He’ll take care of the debt, but doesn’t want him working for Caruso or anyone like him. They have a drink, and Mike offers Sonny a cigar. Sonny says maybe later, and asks about Rita. Mike says she takes care of him, keeps him out of trouble, and she’s a good woman. Maybe if they’d met ten years earlier… Sonny says he might not have appreciated her then. Mike says who knew Sonny was a romantic? Sonny says people grow. Mike tells him that here he is again, taking care of his dad. When he got into recovery, he moved back to make it on his own. He never wanted to be burden to Sonny and Courtney. Sonny says he means Carly. He tells Mike to let the past go. They’re together. They’re family, and something he’s learned is that nothing is more important. They clink glasses.

Anna says sorry she deceived Robin. She and Finn aren’t together. Robin asks if they broke up, but Anna says they were never together. It was just part of an operation she was running for the bureau. They had to make everyone believe they were involved. She was stalling in telling Robin, because she felt ashamed for misleading her. They all liked Finn, and she didn’t know how to tell them it was just pretend. Robin says it didn’t seem like pretend.

Kim greets Finn. She tells Alexis that it’s nice to meet her, and she has Kim’s vote. Julian asks for a word with Alexis. He saw the attack ad. She says him, and everybody else. He says it’s disgraceful, and she doesn’t deserve it. She says neither does he. He tells her that he keeps trying to make things right, even if it means staying out of her life. He’s sorry. No matter how hard he tries, he keeps hurting her

Jordan tells questionable dude that she ran his name through the system, and sees he’s out on parole. He says he’s the victim, and she asks how it will look if they find out he’s lying? She wonders how his parole officer might feel about false statements or an attempted robbery charge. She tells him that she’ll make it simple. If he declines to press charges, she won’t have to investigate any further. It’s his choice.

Robin says she saw two people authentically involved. There’s acting and being, and they were being a couple. They had a familiarity with each other like shorthand. Anna says only if that means gritting her teeth and smoothing over his catastrophic bluntness. She starts going off about how he acted like an expert about things he didn’t know, and wouldn’t take real expert advice. She feels better now that he’s back in his civilian role and off her conscience. Robin asks who Anna is trying to convince? Her or herself? Neither one is convincing, and she tells Anna to admit she has feelings for Finn.

Kim asks what going on, and Finn explains that Alexis is Julian’s ex-wife. Alexis tells Julian the ad wasn’t his doing, but he says it wouldn’t have existed if he hadn’t done what he did. He’s sorry it was used against her, especially with something so important. He thinks she’d make an excellent mayor, and he’ll do whatever he can to help. She asks if he’d like to endorse Ned, but Julian says that’s asking too much. She tells him that she can fight own battles. Julian sits down with Kim. Finn asks Alexis if she’d rather go somewhere else, but she says let’s just enjoy the evening.

Anna says Robin must be tired. Robin says she’s not sleepy, but she’s starving. Anna says she has actual groceries, but Robin wants to go out. She thinks they both need to get out of the house. She’s not trying to get into Anna’s business, but she seemed genuinely happy with Finn, and he seemed happy with her. She tells Anna to stay open to new possibilities. Faison is out of her life, and it might be a chance at a new beginning. Robin goes upstairs, and Anna looks on her laptop, seeing no results found for Henrik.

Jordan tells Stella that she’s free to go. Stella asks about pressing charges, and Jordan says she just convinced the guy not to press charges, and not to escalate it. Stella balks at letting him go free, but Jordan says they’ll keep an eye on him until there’s something to charge him with. Stella leaves to fill out some forms, and Curtis asks Jordan what the chances are of the streetlights and the cameras shutting down at the same time. She says slim to none. She has no basis to investigate further, but he can.

Mike tells Sonny that he has chili on the stove, and he used Ruby’s recipe. He leaves to set up the guest room. Sonny thinks again about the cigars, but when he opens the box, he finds a package of cash. I’m thinking maybe Mike has dementia.

Kim tells Julian she must be the only person in town who didn’t know he was married to Alexis. He says it never came up in conversation, and she says he’s full of surprises. He says they’re not all good. The attack ad took full advantage of the truth about his checkered past. She asks how much is criminal, and he tells her a lot, If she wants to leave, he understands. She says she’d be lying if she said her dream date is drinks with an ex-con, but her family believed in the power of redemption. If he’s paid his debt to society, and is now a law-abiding citizen, she doesn’t think he should pay for it the rest of his life. She asks if he’s committed to living on the right side of the law, and he says, totally.

Finn asks Alexis if she wants to go. She says she’s not ducking and running, but if he wants to, she doesn’t blame him. Anna and Robin come in. Finn says, on second thought, there is something to be said for ducking and running. Robin asks Anna to tell her again how it was just a work relationship.

Dante starts to leave with the box of Nathan’s stuff. He stops, and puts the Yankee mug on his desk.

Tomorrow, Nina tells Anna to conduct business with Valentin later, Sonny questions Mike about the money in the cigar box, and Lulu tells Peter that she doesn’t know much about him.

The Haves and the Have Nots

David paces at the station. He says he’s Jeffrey’s attorney, and he’s tired of waiting. The desk sergeant says he’s called the DA’s office five times, and David tells him to call again. DA George shows up, and David says these clowns won’t let him see Jeffrey. George asks the sergeant to bring Jeffrey to the interrogation room. Isn’t he already there?

Yep, he is. Justin plays with Jeffrey’s phone, while Jeffrey recovers from the headlock. Jeffrey wonders what happened, and Justin says he only put him to sleep. Jeffrey asks what the hell is wrong with him, and Justin says he can be as crazy as Jeffrey makes him. Jeffrey wants to go back to his cell and never talk to Justin again. Justin isn’t going to just let him walk away after all he gave up for him. Jeffrey says he didn’t ask him to give up anything. Justin says he lost his marriage. Jeffrey says don’t blame him, blame his mom, and accuses Justin of causing the accident. Justin says if he did, he was doing Jeffrey a favor. Jeffrey says he doesn’t need Justin to do anything for him, but Justin says too bad, Jeffrey is stuck with him. He agrees to take Jeffrey back, then throws him against the wall.

David walks in, and asks what the hell? Justin says the prisoner was getting rough. David says to get away from him, and get the cuffs off. He asks if Jeffrey is okay, and Jeffrey says he is. David asks for Justin’s name and badge number. He asks why Justin is handling Jeffrey in that way, and Justin says he was resisting. David begs to differ, but Jeffrey agrees. David realizes that Justin is calling Jeffrey by his first name, and Justin makes the excuse of not wanting a mix-up between the two Harringtons. David realizes Justin is the cop who came to his house, and tells him to get lost.

He asks Jeffrey if he’s sure he’s okay, and Jeffrey says he is. David asks why Jeffrey is in jail, and what did Veronica do exactly? Jeffrey says she told the judge and the DA that he murdered Quincy. David says he’ll do all he can. Jeffrey asks if his mother is okay, but David says his only concern is Jeffrey. David asks about that cop, but Jeffrey says there’s nothing to tell. David needs him to tell the truth about everything. Jeffrey says Veronica taped Justin in his room after they had sex, and showed it to his wife. David is like, damn, and Jeffrey says he asked. He asks why Jeffrey was so upset, and Jeffrey says Justin was aggressive; he’s very jealous. David asks if Jeffrey is in love with Justin. Jeffrey says, no, and he asks if Jeffrey is into him. Jeffrey says at times, and David asks if he needs help dealing with him. Jeffrey says what he needs is to get out of there. David says he’ll make some phone calls and work on it. He tells Jeffrey that he loves him, and Jeffrey says he loves David too. David leaves to make some calls.

Mitch takes Benny to the hospital, and says he’ll wait. Benny goes to Veronica’s room, and she calls him her hero. She gives him a hug, and thanks him. He says he did what anybody would have, but she says, not anybody. She says her husband wouldn’t have done it, or her son. He asks why not, and she says she has a way of trying to make people better, and they don’t appreciate it until it’s too late. Benny is like, okay, and says she has a way of making people crazy; she’s a control freak. She says that might be, but she can’t control him. She likes that. She owes him an apology. Their affair got out of hand, and she said some mean and rude things. He did too, but she gets it. She also lied. He is good in bed, and she wasn’t faking it. He says he knows, and she calls him arrogant. He says, just confident. She thanks him, and asks what she can do. He tells her just get better, but she asks what he needs. Anything. He says he’ll think about it, and she says he has an IOU she’s good for.

Before Benny leaves, Veronica says she needs a favor. She asks him to pick up some things at the house for her. She has to stay at the hospital for a while, and doesn’t want to look like a hag. As if. She tells him to check on the house as well. She has a house guest; her son’s fiancé. He asks if she’s gay, and Veronica says not gay, but she’s crazy. Benny tells her that Jeffrey tried to kiss him once, and he hit him. Veronica says she hopes Benny hit him hard. He had no business trying to kiss him, especially since they were involved. Benny says it was long before, and she asks if he thinks about her. He says he has to go, and gets the keys from her purse.

Mitch asks Benny if she wrote him a check, but Benny says she just wants him to get some things. Mitch calls him an errand boy. Benny asks when Mitch’s uncle is getting back. Mitch says if Benny plays it right, he won’t need his uncle. Benny tells him shut up, but Mitch says Veronica is in love with him. Benny says she’s more dangerous than Mitch’s uncle.

Landon tells Charles that he keeps getting better and better at speaking. Charles calls Landon his cheerleader, and Landon says he’s special. He’s cleared Charles’s morning, and has someone he can spend a long night with. Charles asks if she’s beautiful, but Landon was talking about himself. Charles says he’s exhausted and just wants to go to bed. He asks if he’s checked on “her,” and Landon says he might want to pay a visit soon. He’ll get on a plane after the interviews. They go over Charles’s schedule.

Erica finds Gia in the hotel lobby, and gives her a shopping bag. Gia asks if Candace is Erica’s pimp, but Erica says no. Candace arrives, and asks for her money. Erica says she’s also brought the clothes Candace asked for. Candace asks how it feels with no one watching her back; that’s what happens when she gets crossed. Erica says, sorry, and Candace says unless she wants a slap, don’t say that; she knew what was going on. She’d better work fast on David for the hundred grand. She tells Erica to get her ass out.

Candace asks glia if she has a room. She doesn’t, and Candace says she can use hers, but it’s the last time they’ll talk in public. After this, she doesn’t know her in public. She tells Gia to go ahead of her. Before Candace can follow, a guy walks up to her, saying she’s under arrest. Candace asks for what, and to see his ID. He claims to be from vice, and says she’s being arrested for robbery. Candace says she did nothing, but he tells her not to cause a scene.

Kathryn visits Hanna. She asks how Hanna is, but doesn’t quite buy that Hanna is okay. Hanna asks what’s going on, and Kathryn says Derek thought she didn’t seem too happy. Hanna asks if she’s trying to get Derek to ask her out, but Kathryn says he wanted to. Hanna tells her about Derek doing the dishes, and Kathryn says she didn’t tell him to do that, but thought it would be nice for her to go out for coffee. Hanna says Kathryn knows what she’s been dealing with, and Kathryn says all the more reason to get out. He’s just asking for coffee. Hanna says it’s been a while since she laughed, and asks who he is. Kathryn says he’s worked on their properties for years. His wife died a year ago, and he’s been lonely. She tells Hanna she should go, and she won’t take no for an answer. She’s calling him, and telling him to take Hanna to dinner, even if she has to push her out the door. Hanna says no, and Kathryn says, fine. She asks if Hanna is coming by later, and Hanna tells her not to set her up.

Sarah comes to Jim’s hotel room. She says she can’t stay long. He tells her to suit herself. She says she’s getting married to a judge. Jim calls him an old bastard; old enough to be her grandfather. He asks what the judge did for her, and she says she worked hard. Jim – king of bad double entendres – says she worked him hard. Sarah says she won’t be intimidated. He tells her to relax, sit down, and shut up. He’s not letting the DA bury him without him burying all of them, including her. She asks what he wants. He wants every shred of evidence. She says he’ll find it out in discovery. He tells her whatever they have, make sure they don’t have. She says she can’t tamper with witnesses. The star witnesses are his son and Jeffrey; the rest is circumstantial. Jim wants what’s on record to disappear, like what was on record about her did. She tells him that she paid him for that, and he says the casual sex was his gift to her. She says she’ll do what she can, and starts to leave, but he tells her to take off her clothes. She says she’s getting married, and he says he’s been married for years. He insists, and tells her not to act like she doesn’t enjoy it. He’s the best she’s ever had.

At Veronica’s house, Mitch remarks what a nice place it is. He tells Benny to get that truck, and says he could be living there. Benny says he ain’t that dude. Mitch says it’s in his blood; look at Candace. Girl knows how to come up. Melissa comes out in a tiny robe over some gorgeous lingerie, and asks what they’re doing there. Benny says he’s there to get some things for Veronica, and asks if she remembers Mitch. She says she can’t forget, and calls him very handsome. She says Benny is too, and he says he’s just there to get her things. Melissa asks when she’s coming home, and Mitch says it sounds like Melissa doesn’t like her very much. Melissa says she doesn’t like her at all. He asks why she’s there, and she says Veronica wants her to marry her son. He asks why she’s living there, and she asks if he thinks she’s sexy. He says, hell yeah. She asks if Benny does, and he asks where the bedroom, so he can get Veronica’s things. She leads him leads him upstairs, and Mitch laughs.

In Veronica’s room, Benny looks for the clothes she wants. Melissa asks if he knows her son is gay. She’s been locked up a long time, not being fulfilled, Veronica watching all the time. Jeffrey looked at her like he was disgusted, and she was beginning to doubt herself. She thanks him for saying she’s sexy. She takes robe off, and he asks what she’s doing. He doesn’t know? She says trying to remember what feels like to be wanted and desired. Benny says he just came to get the clothes. Melissa says he could get more, and won’t let him past. She takes a condom out of his wallet, and says she knew he was ready. Benny keeps protesting, but not that hard. She pushes him onto a chair, and gets on his lap. He says Mitch is downstairs, and she says he can’t hear. Melissa doesn’t hear him saying no anymore, and Benny tells her to shut up.

Landon orders a drink. He’s sitting with a woman from the campaign whose name I don’t know. He tells her that Charles has back to back meetings, but he got him situated. The woman says Charles sounds like a five-year-old, and Landon says, a toddler. He’s always whining about how tough it is and how tough it’s going to be. It’s a lot. Landon starts talking about Candace, and the woman says she’s keeping everything in line, but Candace makes it hard. She keeps doing more bad things. Landon says she’s a thug, and he doesn’t want to know. He says Charles really wants that stupid bitch. She says she sees that Candace is getting under Landon’s skin. Landon tells her that Candace almost had a thug attack him, and Charles just melts for her. The woman asks if that’s what it is, or is it that Landon wants Charles to melt for him? She says he’s 100% straight, and Landon says he’s known some who weren’t – in practice.  She says Landon wants him; he’s in love with him. Landon says Charles is his boss, and he doesn’t want to hear it. Landon leaves, and the nameless woman orders another drink.

There’s a knock at Wyatt’s door. Justin yells for him to open the damn door. Wyatt tells him back away, but Justin bangs on the door. He gets it open, and comes in holding a crowbar. He asks if Wyatt is hard of hearing, and says he’s going to show him who belongs to Jeffrey. He asks why Wyatt has been calling Jeffrey, and Wyatt calls him insane. Justin says Wyatt claimed they were lovers. He’s not going to let a drug addict junky take what’s his. Wyatt tells him to get out again, and Justin says, don’t call him. Wyatt repeats that Justin is insane. Justin raises the crowbar, but misses Wyatt. They tumble over the chair, and begin to tussle.

Next time, Candace shares a cell with Quita, David threatens Justin, and Melissa moves on to Mitch.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

PK tells Dorit she’s amazing, and his party was beyond. We flash back to some highlights. He says her performance was great, but George likes to sing with people who can’t sing; it makes him sound better. She’s like, thanks a lot, and moves on to Teddi’s beach house invite. She tells PK about the argument, and how Kyle defended Teddi. In her interview, she says Kyle hurt her feelings by not sticking up for her. Dorit opens a box, and it’s a custom-made 3D figurine of her and the kids. They drop it, and the baby’s head pops off. Well, so much for that. It was pretty cool while it lasted though.

Lisa and Ken are at Vanderpump Dogs, fawning over a bag full of fresh puppies. The assistant tells them the lawsuit was dismissed. Huge relief for everyone. Lisa wants to celebrate. In her interview, she says a public figure is susceptible to litigious bullsh*t. Coupled with the puppies, it’s a glorious day.

Teddi and Kyle shop for athletic wear. They talk about the party. Teddi wonders why it has to be so hard, and tells Kyle the thing between her and Dorit is like water torture. She got excuses, but not an apology. In her interview, Teddi says you have to own your sh*t. Kyle says the ones who think they’re right will never back down. She likes Dorit, but sometimes wants to tell her to shut up and listen. Teddi tells Kyle nothing is easy with this group.

LisaR and Erika meet for lunch. LisaR says she’s in denial about everything. Daughter Delilah is moving to NYC, and she hasn’t processed it yet. She wants Delilah to be safe and healthy, and she wants it to be fine. Erika says it will be. She talks about her soap schedule, and they discus her character on Days of Our Lives. We see an ancient clip. Erika asks what it’s like to be a soap character for decades. LisaR says you have to learn a lot of lines. We see a clip of Erika on Eileen’s show.

LVP waits for Dorit, who calls saying there’s traffic. LVP says she lives around the corner from her. She’s going into Teddi mode, and it’s annoying. Kyle follows Dorit in. LVP immediately tells them about the lawsuit being dropped. They toast to that. Kyle says speaking of negativity, what was up with Dorit and Teddi? She asks if she shouldn’t have chimed in, and says she thought they needed an interpreter. Dorit thinks friends shouldn’t jump in. Kyle says LVP chimed in for Dorit, but Dorit says that was different. In her interview Kyle says now she needs an interpreter. Kyle says it was two against one, and LVP says she wasn’t against Teddi. Kyle says that’s not what she meant, but she thought Dorit didn’t get where Teddi was coming from. She feels ganged up on, and shuts down the conversation. She starts to get weepy, and both Dorit and LVP wonder where this is coming from. LVP says she waited a half hour, and she’s going; she’s had enough. She strides off, and Kyle tells Dorit that LVP is mad because Dorit is talking to her. in her interview, LVP says Kyle is crying over nonsense, and it has nothing to do with her. She wanted to celebrate, and wished she could have talked about that. She’s not dealing with bullsh*t. Kyle and Dorit go after her, and Kyle asks why she’s leaving. LVP wants Kyle to stop saying they were attacking her. She’s going home to her husband, who would rather spend time with her than they would. She leaves them with their mouths hanging open.

Kyle and Dorit go back to the table. Kyle is annoyed, saying LVP left because the focus wasn’t on her. She knew Kyle was upset. Dorit says it’s just because it wasn’t about her, and it isn’t adult behavior. She tells Kyle that LVP needs a lot of attention, and it probably goes back to her parents. We flash back to LVP telling Dorit that her parents weren’t demonstrative at all. Kyle is shocked that LVP never told her about it, and says it hurts her feelings. She’d like to think they’re closer than that, and it’s weird that she was never told. Dorit tells her about the photo shoot for the jewelry line, and Kyle didn’t know about that either. Kyle says she tells her close friends everything, and doesn’t want to feel like the friendship is unbalanced. Dorit says they have to address it, but LVP isn’t picking up their calls.

Delilah wonders how LisaR memorizes so much. LisaR encourages Emilia to get her driver’s permit. She’s dragging her feet, saying she still wants some childhood. LisaR says she forgets Emelia is just a kid. She worries about them growing up too fast, and says they can take their time. She asks Delilah about moving. Delilah says she just needs a bed. LisaR says they really need to pick out stuff, but Delilah is going to the spa for a non-surgical facelift. LisaR wonders how that will help someone who already has a baby face. So do I.

Teddi gets the beach house ready. Hopefully she has the right glasses. She wants everyone to be happy, and doesn’t know if these chicks can handle such a laid-back atmosphere. Dorit is late to pick up Kyle. She calls, saying her driver doesn’t know how to get there.

Giggy! Harrison! Schnookie! Erika picks up LVP. Erika is surprised to see turtles in LVP’s pond, and LVP says she has everything. She asks if Erika brought anything for the potluck. In her interview, Erika says she left her Jell-O salad with marshmallows at home. She tells LVP that she meant to bring a bottle of champagne, but forgot it. LVP brings a cake.

LisaR is busy at the Days set. She says it’s been twenty-five years, and it’s like going home. Before she started on the soap, she’d only done Taco Bell commercials, and it changed her life. She discusses wardrobe with the wardrobe guy. She tells us that she’s the OG Billie, but two other actresses have played the part, and her character has done things she doesn’t even know about. She says it’s a lot of pressure, and she has to be ready or she’ll look like a fool.

Dorit makes it to Kyle’s. She says if she can survive the limo ride from hell, she can survive her issues with Teddi.

LVP tells Erika about how the girls ignored her good news. Erika thinks there’s more depth to LVP than she shows; they’re alike in that way, with keeping things to themselves. We flash back to Kyle taking several calls while at dinner with LVP.

Dorit wants to know what’s going on with LVP. Kyle doesn’t like rocking the boat. She says LVP will hold their friendship hostage, and Kyle cares about her. Dorit thinks they should have a side chat. Kyle says she did nothing wrong.

LisaR calls Erika, telling her that she has twelve scenes coming up. Erika says she’s missing out on the beach excursion. LVP joins in the conversation, saying she has ruffled feathers. LisaR says it’s a shame she can’t be there. Erika says Dorit called Teddi a psycho. LisaR has to jet – it’s call time.

Teddi fluffs pillows. Erika and LVP get there first. Teddi shows them around, and it’s beautiful. LVP says doesn’t know why Teddi was anxious; she never met a beach house she didn’t like. She says it’s casual, funky, and bohemian, like Teddi. Dorit and Kyle finally arrive. Dorit thinks being on the ocean is magical. She brought tons of food since her mother is in town. Teddi says she got glasses just for her. Dorit calls it extending an olive forest. LVP asks if Dorit left late, and mentions waiting for her. Kyle had planned on talking to LVP about the aborted dinner, and wants LVP to cool her jets. Dorit asks if that’s why she left so abruptly. LVP says it was a couple of things. She’d been excited about the canceled lawsuit, and they ignored her enthusiasm. Kyle doesn’t think so. She thinks LVP felt brushed aside. Isn’t that kind of the same thing? In her interview, Teddi says, welcome to my beach house, and asks if they can’t chill for just a moment. LVP says she wanted to talk about something that was huge. Maybe she felt tired and drained, and didn’t like that Kyle was saying they’d planned to gang up on her. Kyle says it wasn’t about LVP for a minute. She felt left out in the moment, and that Kyle and Dorit were having a moment. She asks if LVP would have left had it been Dorit who was crying, and LVP says she doesn’t know. In her interview, Kyle says this is making her question where the friendship stands, and how LVP feels about her. The friendship isn’t balanced. LVP says she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Everyone focuses on the food. Kyle goes to freshen up. She thinks LVP is going to want an apology, but she’s not getting one. Kyle wants an apology, but probably won’t get it.

Dorit says it’s peaceful by the ocean. Teddi and Kyle sit outside. Kyle says she’s pissed off. It would have been easier to just say she’s sorry, but that’s not the truth, and she wants them to be honest. Erika joins them for the sunset, and Camille arrives. LVP sits down, and Dorit follows. The sunset is breathtaking. Kyle tells Camille that she came at a more peaceful time, and Camille asks what happened. Erika says LVP was hurt, and LVP explains what happened at dinner. Kyle believes LVP doesn’t want to say that she really felt excluded. Kyle says she tells LVP everything, and wonders if LVP feels the same way about her. In her interview, Erika says all of them are petty, and this is really about three bitches competing for friendship. Kyle says she’s been LVP’s friend a long time. LVP says she doesn’t prefer Dorit over her, but Kyle feels LVP doesn’t treat her as well. The friendship doesn’t feel balanced (the word of the night). LVP tells Kyle she’s sorry if she was unfair, and asks Kyle to apologize for saying she was plotting against her. In her interview, Kyle says LVP’s sorry is a good sign. She didn’t expect it. Even though LVP isn’t being up front about why she left, she’ll take the apology. They agree to be honest with one another. Kyle says she feels like LVP is too hard on her sometimes. In her interview, LVP says none of it was worth crying over. Since they don’t’ understand each other’s point of view, she apologized. The friendship was too important. As soon as Kyle gets up. LVP steals her comfier chair.

Next time, the ladies take an exercise class, Dorit tells Erika the girls were mad she left, and Dorit tells the group something private that LVP told her.


January 31, 2018 – I Blame Lulu, Karma Hits Larry & a Little New Jersey


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Nathan flatlines.

Lulu writes… Detective Nathan West is fighting for his life, his wife Maxie by his side… according to sources, Detective West went face to face with his father, notorious criminal Cesar Faison… She continues on, telling the story about Maxie being held hostage, and that they’re expecting their first child. Faison fled, but because of Nathan, Maxie and the baby are safe.

Jordan looks at a picture of Faison, and crumples it

At the hospital, Peter looks at the real Faison.

Amy gets Maxie out of the room. Felicia and Mac have arrived, and comfort her in the waiting area.

Amy charges the defibrillator. Griff works on Nathan. In the hallway, Maxie says, come on, Nathan.

Lulu writes… Wheeled out by paramedics, Detective West gave a thumbs up to his wife, a silent gesture that he would be okay, this would not be their ending. It’s the kind of man he is, strong, positive, reassuring others in the face of his own pain… The true definition of a hero.

Griff says, he’s gone. What the what? I swear, after reading the latest Soaps in Depth, I was sure it would be otherwise. Maxie cries, no! but Griff says he’s so sorry; Nathan is gone. Everyone is in tears, and I curse the TV.

Peter sees Sam and Jason outside of Faison’s room at the hospital. Peter tells Drew to take a crack at him, but be warned, he can’t trust a word that bastard says.

Drew and Sam go into Faison’s room. Faison says he sees Drew got the girl – Jason’s wife. He asks if Drew is there to thank him.

Curtis sits with Lulu at Kelly’s. He asks if she’s heard anything about Nathan, and she’s hoping no news is good news. Dante is with him, but hasn’t called. Curtis says he’s there to pick up an order for Jordan, and it’s going to be a long night. He asks what she’s working on, and she tells him an article about Nathan. He hopes it has a happy ending, and she says, it will; it’s got to.

Stella comes by Jordan’s office. She says her landlord is at it again; there’s no heat. Jordan says that’s awful, but Stella doesn’t want her pity; she wants something done about it. Jordan needs evidence of criminal activity, and Stella suggests she come over and take the temperature of the apartment, then find that greedy snake and arrest him.

Griff says he did everything he could, but the damage was too extensive. Maxie wants to see him, and I get distracted by Felicia’s terrific haircut. Amy tells Maxie to take as much time as she needs. Maxie tells Felicia that she doesn’t know how to do this. How does she say goodbye? She tells lifeless Nathan that he helped her recognize she had the strength to save herself, and asks if he remembers that from their wedding vows. She’s trying to find strength now, but it doesn’t work without him; nothing will. She talks about how annoyed they were to be chained together, but would give anything to go back to it. She couldn’t admit it at the time, but she’s standing next to the greatest man she’s ever known. She loves him and always will. She touches her stomach, and says they both will. She kisses Nathan’s hand, and I’m seriously confused. A secret well-kept, I guess, but I feel swindled.

Nina asks Amy if they have to take him soon, and Amy says there’s a procedure they’re supposed to follow, but no rush. Felicia tells Maxie that they have to go now, but Maxie doesn’t think she can leave. Felicia leads her to the door, and she takes a last look. Amy places his hand back under the sheet, thanks him, and says she’ll never forget. She starts to put the sheet over him, but Dante says he’ll take over. He tells Nathan he’s not going to make a big thing, since Nathan would just tell him to shut up. He was the best partner and best friend Dante ever had. He tells Nathan not to worry about Maxie and the baby. He has them. He puts the sheet over Nathan. Oh, I see. He gets to go in, but Nina doesn’t?

Nina can’t believe this is happening; it’s surreal. Valentin tells her how sorry he is. If he could make it so it never happened, he would. She asks him to check on Charlotte. She asks him to tell her that she won’t be there to tuck her in, but she’ll be there in the morning. She needs him to tell her that she loves her. He says he will, and leaves. Nina goes to Maxie, and they cry. She thanks Maxie for loving her brother. She was his world; she loved him like he deserved to be loved. Nina walks into the hallway.

Jordan gets a call from Dante saying Nathan is gone. She asks if he was taken to the morgue, and he says any minute. She hangs up, and tells Stella that one of her detectives was just killed in the line of duty.

Dante sees a message from Lulu, and calls her. He tells her to get over to the hospital. She asks if Nathan is awake, and he tells her to just get to the hospital. She wants him to tell her what’s going on, and he says Nathan didn’t make it. She’s like, no! and he says it happened fast. She asks about Maxie, but says never mind; she’s on her way. Curtis says he’ll take her.

Obrecht tells Dante that Nathan is dead thanks to Lulu. Dante says Lulu didn’t want this, but Obrecht says she made it happen because she’s a vain, shallow excuse for a human being, who had no idea what she was toying with. He did though, and should have stopped her. He asks if he should have stopped Nathan too. He wanted to take the risk. Obrecht says don’t blame him. He was naïve, and his courage led him to make a foolish choice, but Lulu put it in motion because of ambition, after being a reporter for five minutes. Dante says everyone is grieving, and she says, funny, she doesn’t hear him arguing with her.

Sam asks if it amuses Faison to play games with people’s lives. Faison asks her if she’s sure she wants to stay with the replacement, and tells her to go back to the man she loves. She says she’s not letting him play with her head, and Drew asks where the flash drive is. Andre put his old memories on a flash drive, and gave it to Anna. What did he do with it? Faison says he didn’t know it existed. Drew asks what his plan is. What’s his end game, and why keep Jason around? Faison says he wanted to kill Jason. He didn’t keep him alive. He’s too dangerous to have running around. Sam asks, then who? His son, who apparently Drew knows? Faison says, that’s correct. Drew asks where to find Henrik. Faison says let him out, and he’ll tell him, and he’ll answer all his questions. Drew says he’ll go the rest of his life not knowing a damn thing before he helps Faison. He’s going to spend his remaining days in prison; in a cage. Faison says let him make something clear, they still need Henrik. Drew hopes he enjoys hell, and Sam says they’ll find him on their own.

Peter asks Nina what happened. She says her brother is dead, and that SOB killed him. She asks Drew if that’s his room, and runs toward it. Valentin grabs her. She tries to get away, but he holds on to her, and she yells, murderer!

Jordan tells the people at the station that Nathan didn’t make it. It’s rough when they lose one of their own, and she knows they’ll join her in extending their deepest sympathies to the family.

Lulu gets to the hospital, and hugs Dante. He thanks Curtis. Curtis asks if Jordan is there, but he says not yet. Lulu asks how did it happen; how is he gone?

Felicia tells Maxie that she needs to eat, take a shower, and get some rest. Maxie goes back into Nathan’s empty room, and she thinks back to them feeling the baby kick.

Dante thinks Lulu should give Maxie some space. She doesn’t know what to say, and Dante says there’s nothing to say. She’s trying to put herself in Maxie’s position, but her mind shuts down. She can’t even handle the thought, and Maxie is living it. She feels terrible for them both. Nathan was Dante’s brother. She asks what she can do, and Dante says her being there is enough.

Jordan arrives at the hospital. Curtis asks how she’s doing, and she asks how Maxie is. He says beat up, as expected. She says it happened on her watch, but Curtis says she’s not responsible. She tells him Nathan is a good man, a good cop, and about to have a baby; it’s not fair. Curtis says it’s not, and holds her.

Felicia tells Maxie it’s time to go home.

Dante suggest he and Lulu grab coffee, and get some air.

Val brings Nina an empty coffee cup. I swear, they will never learn how to carry a cup so that it looks like it’s full on this show. He wishes he could do more. She asks about Charlotte, and he says she’s fine, and he followed her instructions. Nina says she used to tell Nathan that she wasn’t going to be there when he closed his eyes, but would be when he opened them. She says he’s never going to open his eyes, and cries.

Peter asks Drew if he got any information from Faison. Drew says he wanted to cut a deal. He’d help Drew find his son if Drew helped him escape. Peter says he’s sure Drew laughed in his face, and Drew says, something like that. Peter says Faison is a piece of work. Sam is thinking about Maxie, and how lonely she must feel. A couple of hours ago, everything was fine. Now, just like that, it’s not. It went from light to dark, and everything is different.

Amy brings out Nathan’s bag of belongings, but no one is left in the waiting room. She hugs the bag.

Peter goes into Faison’s room. He tells Faison that he looks positively cadaverous. They might wheel him to the morgue before he’s ready. Faison says Peter would love that, and Peter asks if he can he blame him. He asks Faison how he’s feeling, and Faison says like he was shot. Peter says he has to admit Jason does good work. He couldn’t have found a better spot. Faison says, enough; what does he know about a flash drive? Peter says he doesn’t owe Faison any explanation; he doesn’t owe him anything. He says their days together are over, and calls him dad. This revelation is about as astounding as when George Michael came out.

Mac and Felicia take Maxie home. Maxie thinks about Christmas, and the stockings hanging on the mantel, including a tiny one for the baby. In her flashback, Nathan says, it’s perfect, and the prospect of being a father will turn him to mush. Mac suggests going to their place. There’s a knock at the door, and Amy gives him the bag of Nathan’s belongings. He thanks her. Mac starts to put them aside, and Maxie asks what he’s doing. He says there’s plenty of time to go through them, but she wants to do it now.

Peter asks Faison if he has any idea how exhausting it was, year after year, seeking his approval, and constantly being rebuffed. A light bulb finally came on, and he wondered why he was trying to be like him; he’s his own man. Faison says he’s a boy; scared, weak, and worthless. Tell him about the flash drive. Peter says that’s so him – slapping him with one hand, and asking for something with the other. Faison wonders why he wasn’t killed, and Peter says he had a bulletproof vest. Faison calls him a coward, saying he’s always been one. Peter says Faison always taught him to plan ahead. Faison says he’s so pathetic, he couldn’t even kill Jason. Peter asks, why kill a perfect assassin, when he can turn him loose on Faison? All he had to do was keep him contained until he was ready to see Faison die, get out of the way, and let Jason take his revenge. Faison says his perfect assassin didn’t take him out. Peter says he’s grateful. Now he gets to watch as Faison basks in the harsh reality of what he’s done. Faison asks if Peter means him, but he doesn’t. Nathan’s dead. He killed the wrong son.

Maxie takes out Nathan’s watch, saying he was always on time. Felicia says, unlike her. Maxie says he always told her that she was worth waiting for.

Nina tells Valentin that Nathan didn’t like him. He kept reminding her that Valentin broke her heart. Valentin says it’s his deepest regret. Nina says she told Nathan it didn’t matter, and he gave his blessing. He’d rather see her happy than be right. Valentin says he respected Nathan. Nina says he was the only good thing in that horrible family. The penthouse in New York was hell; like a hall of statues. Nothing was real; everything was fake, except Nathan. He was real, warm, and love. Everything about her hurts right now. She cries, and Valentin holds her, saying he’s not going anywhere.

Faison asks Peter if Nathan is really gone. Peter says, thanks to him. Faison says he didn’t get to know him. Peter says that’s the best part. He’s so old and frail, he didn’t recognize his own son before he pulled the trigger. Faison tells him to get out. Peter says, no; he’s waited a long time. All those years, Faison felt so superior, and treated him like dirt, kicking him around, when all the time he was playing him. He asks how it feels to be out maneuvered by the son he despised? Peter feels amazing. He has the ultimate leverage; he has the memories on the flash drive. Even better, he’s working for Sam and Drew, and they don’t realize. He thanks Faison for a beautiful set-up. Faison tells him again to get out, and struggles to sit up. The machines he’s hooked up to start beeping. Peter says, living well is the best revenge, and he’s living great; high in the catbird seat, spending Faison’s money. It should be enough, but it can’t be. The real revenge is knowing Faison killed the son he loved and wanted, while the one he rejected is alive and well. He wins, and Faison loses at his own twisted game. Faison reaches out, and Peter slaps his hand away. The machinery goes nuts.

Valentin suggests he and Nina go home, and cherish what they have. Nina says she loves him, and he says he loves her too.

Obrecht goes to Nathan’s empty room, and smiles. She remembers him calling her mother on Christmas, and thanks him.

Peter asks if Faison’s not feeling so hot. Faison tries to ring for help, but Peter grabs the buzzer away from him, saying he taught him better than that. He leaves as Faison reaches out.

Maxie looks through Nathan’s wallet. She finds a picture of the two of them. She takes out his badge next, and there’s a song part. She puts his wedding ring on her index finger. She takes out his jacket, and remembers giving him the sonogram picture, and him putting it in his pocket. She pulls it out, and it’s covered in blood. She cries, and Felicia and Mac hold her.

Geez, this was rough on several fronts.

Tomorrow, Carly tells Michael she found out something about Nelle, Jason says Faison is dead, and Doc gets what he came for.

If Loving You is Wrong

Eddie tells Larry to drive. Larry says way to avoid a crime is not going to next location. (Or, never go to crime scene number two, as Bo Dietl says) Eddie asks if Larry wants him to shoot him right here. Larry says, yeah, and Eddie makes like he’s going to do it. Larry tells him to get out of the car, and Eddie tazes him. He does it twice more, but Larry still won’t drive. Eddie knocks him out and into the passenger seat, and drives away.

There’s a crowd at Larry’s office regarding Travis, and he’s obviously not there. Ian tells the assistant the he’ll try to call him.

Eddie chains Larry up in a storage container, the same way he was trussed up at Randal’s house. He asks if this is the game Larry likes, and tells him to wake up.

The assistant says Larry asked for a press conference. Ian can’t find him. Lushion calls. He says he’s not doing good, and Ian says join the party. Lushion says the attorney isn’t calling him back. Ian tells Lushion that he did the best he could. Lushion says one minute he’s ready to help her, and the next, he’s not. Ian says Travis’s family is there, and wants a press conference now. Lushion asks Ian to call the lawyer. Ian agrees, and goes out to the mob scene.

Alex is folding laundry when Brad comes in. He says he’s going to the office for a while. She asks if he’s coming back for lunch, but he’s not sure. She asks if he’s coming back at all, and he says he is. She tells him she loves him, and she’s sorry. He says, okay. She says she’s really, really sorry. She didn’t go over to Randal’s house, and knows he doesn’t believe her. He says he’s done with it. Alex wonders if he means her, but he says he said it. She asks what she can do; she’ll do anything. He tells her not to talk to Randal anymore, and walk away if he tries to talk to her. She promises not to say anything to him. She tells Brad again that she loves him, and he says he loves her too.

Eddie smacks Larry awake. Larry laughs, and says Eddie’s had his fun; let him go. Eddie says he’s just getting started, but Larry says he has to get to the office. He asks what Eddie hit him with. Eddie says his gun, but Larry’s kinky ass has probably been hit with worse. Larry says he didn’t do anything to him. Eddie says he was chained and humiliated, but Larry claims to have passed out. Eddie asks what he did, and Larry says dress him up; it was just for kicks. Eddie punches him. Larry tells Eddie to let him go, and they’ll call it even. Eddie says his girlfriend took pictures, and the whole department knows. He knocks Larry around. Larry yells for help, but they’re in the middle of the woods.

Esperanza visits Kelly in her cell. She’s sure it has to be tough, and Kelly says she has no idea. She’s trying to positive, and Esperanza tells her to fight for it and maintain her composure. Kelly says all she can think about is Justice, but Esperanza says they’re all taking care of him; he’s fine. Kelly thanks her. She still hasn’t heard from Lushion or the lawyer. Esperanza says she’ll check. Kelly says she needs to get out of there. She tells Esperanza that these people have done horrible things, and Esperanza promises they’ll figure it out. Kelly thinks Esperanza is looking at her weird. She knows what she did was wrong. Esperanza warns her not to talk in there, and says she’s on Kelly’s side. Kelly tells her to see how Justice is acting; he acts out when he’s stressed, and please go easy on him. Esperanza asks if she needs anything, and Kelly says, out of here. Esperanza says it’s coming.

Brad is leaving for work, and Randal asks if he’s been served; the lawsuit is coming. Brad says good, and to get the ladder, so he can kick him off of it again. Randal says he’s going to own Brad’s house and him. He already owned his wife. Brad says he’s owning Randal’s wife right now, and their baby is going to be a star. He’s a strong kicker, like how Brad kicked Randal off the ladder. Randal walks away. Brad says he can’t handle it when the tables are turned. Randal says he’s turned a few with Brad’s wife. He repeats the lawsuit is coming, and Brad says he’s looking forward to it. Randal goes back home, and Brad gets in the car.

Esperanza goes to see Lushion. She says she just saw Kelly. She’s concerned about the lawyer, and she asks what’s happening. Lushion is still trying to get him. Esperanza says it’s serious, and Lushion says he’s supposed to call. She says Travis’s family knows everybody. He asks what she’s suggesting, and she wonders if it’s a legit referral. They represent Travis’s family. Lushion doesn’t think Ian is like that; he’s known him for years. Esperanza says he seems confident, but she isn’t. They don’t have that much time. Lushion says the lawyer has been in court. Esperanza asks which one, and he asks if she’s playing investigator. She says he has his hands full, and she wants to help. He says not that full, but she’s worried about her… their friend. She could get life in prison. She says the mother is talking about how Kelly wouldn’t leave Travis alone. They’re all crying on TV, and very convincing. Lushion says she’s lying. Esperanza says perception is reality, and she doesn’t look like she’s lying. They know Kelly, but she’s being made to look like a different person. Lushion says he’ll make some more calls. He also thinks Esperanza should stop fraternizing at work. Things with Eddie went bad, and she still has to see him. She asks what he’s saying, that Stephen isn’t a good guy? Lushion says he’s a great guy. In the beginning it’s all great, but then things change. She should know the rules before she starts. Esperanza says Stephen told him, but Lushion says she did. She says nothing is going on. He tells her that her face is priceless, and she should tell it to someone else.

Alex walks the baby. Randal pops out. She says, touch the stroller, and he’ll regret it. She tells him to get away from her house. He wants to see the baby, and she says he’s not hearing her. He won’t move, and she says, fine, and reverses direction. He touches her arm, and she tells him not to touch her. He says she used to like it, and she slaps him. He laughs, and tells her do it again. He follows her, and she tells him to leave her alone. Natalie comes out, and Randal tells her to get her ghetto ass out of the conversation. She says she cut him once, and asks if he’d like a piece of hot lead to go with it. He touches her arm, and she falls on the ground, and starts flailing around and yelling. He says he didn’t touch her, but then runs away. Natalie asks where he’s going. I love Natalie.

She tells Alex that she has to do something about him. Alex doesn’t know what. Natalie says to get rid of someone crazy, act crazier, and suggests Alex set him up. Alex says she and Brad are trying to do something, but Natalie says she started it, so it’s up to her. Alex says Brad is back, but Randal isn’t making it easy. Alex apologizes, saying she shouldn’t have let Randal think the baby was Lushion’s. Natalie says she’s not mad. If she was, she wouldn’t be standing there now. Alex thanks her. Natalie says if she hears nothing else, hear this – she needs to do something about Randal. Alex doesn’t know what to do, and Natalie tells her to think about it. Alex asks about Kelly, and Natalie says she’s not good. Alex tells her if she can do anything, let her know. She’s glad Natalie is in the neighborhood. Natalie walks her back home, and invites herself in for a drink.

Marcie is on the phone with Esperanza as she meets Ian for dinner. She tells him she was talking about Kelly, and asks why he’s not representing her? He says Larry is representing Travis’s family. Marcie says, it’s so wrong, and he says, we’re lawyers what do you expect? He knows Kelly is a decent person, and she’s innocent; he spoke to her. Marcie says she’s good at reading people, and there’s something he’s not saying. She thinks he has a heart, and that makes it hard for some lawyers. He asks what she reads. She says he’s complicated and tries to act tough, but he’s a softie. She wonders how he knows Kelly is innocent, but he says she was his client and he can’t talk about her. Marcie says it doesn’t feel right sitting there, while Kelly is in a cell. She sees Stephen, and realizes Esperanza is with him. She tells Ian she’ll be right back.

Marcie says Esperanza told her that she was at work. Esperanza says her mind is all over the place, and introduces Stephen. Marcie explains she’s having dinner with a client who just bought a house. Stephen says they’ve met, and she says he looks different out of his work clothes. Esperanza says they’re just having an after-work drink. Marcie points out that she’s not dressed for work, and Esperanza says she had a change of clothes in her car. Marcie goes back to Ian.

Esperanza tells Stephen the town is so small. Now, all the girls will know. He asks if he embarrasses her, and she says no; she just doesn’t want them in her business. He says they’re adults, and allowed to have business, so let it go. She says they talk to Eddie, but he says no one talks to Eddie. He tells her to let him worry about it, but he gets it; she likes being in control. They talk about ordering, and Esperanza says she doesn’t drink much. Stephen says the last time they were together, she took the bottle like a champ. She says sometimes she needs liquid courage, and he wonders why with him? She says it came out of nowhere and happened fast. He asks if she’s enjoying it, and she says, let’s jut order. He tells her to relax. She orders tequila shots, and he says, so much for not drinking.

Alex rocks the nameless baby, and puts him in the crib. She hears Randal cackling and playing music outside. She jets out, and tells him to turn it down. He laughs, and she says she’s tired of him, spraying his car with the hose. He tells her to get her ass back in the house, but instead, she gets in the car. He pulls her out, and she tells him that he’s awful. Why did he tell Brad that she came over? He says because she did, but she says, no, she didn’t. Why is he doing this? Doesn’t he have any conscience? He’s surprised she didn’t know that already. He tells her that Brad and Marcie are having a baby, but Alex says they aren’t. Randal asks if she didn’t know Marcie was pregnant. She did, but says it’s not his. Randal asks who’s is it? She tells him to stop this. He asks again, and she says it’s his. I shake my head. She tells him to check the calendar, harass Marcie, and leave them alone. He asks if it’s his kid, and she asks if he didn’t hear her. Randal thinks she’s messing with him, but Alex says she doesn’t want to mess with him again.

Brad comes by, sees them, and speeds off. Randal laughs, and says, he gone.

Next time, Lushion asks Ian what happened, Larry says Eddie could kill him, and Justice asks Valerie if his mother killed Travis.

🍷 I also watched The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Reunion Secrets Revealed, and it was a lot of fun. These Secrets Revealed shows often have the best clips, or at least the ones where the women are having the most fun with each other. God forbid we should see that on the actual show. Two of the best scenes were a Latin dancing lesson, and Marty asking Danielle to marry him. I guess this makes number twenty? As Teresa said, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs. We also saw Siggy getting along with the Marge. Too bad she couldn’t sustain that, and ended up being batsh*t crazy.


RIP Assman Landers Nathan

January 30, 2018 – Drew Knows More Than He Knows, Hanna Tells Her Story, PK Turns 50 & Smelling Like Onions


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Drew tells Sam that Nathan is still in surgery. She’s glad the kids are at the Quartermaine’s, and glad they came back early. Now Drew can get Faison to tell him how and why he switched their lives.

We revisit Peter setting the trashcan holding the bulletproof vest on fire.

Faison tells Jason that he’s disappointed. He can’t manage a single gunshot? Jason says he can, and Faison asks why Jason kept him alive. Jason tells him that he wants to know why Faison replaced him with his brother?

Griff says the surgery on Nathan was a success. Obrecht asks if he’ll walk again. Surviving a procedure is one thing, but will he have quality of life? She asks what Griff isn’t saying. It’s probably nothing; he always looks worried like that. He says Nathan has bone fragments in his chest cavity from the bullet ricochet, but they removed the bullet without compromising his spine, and he’ll have full mobility. The fragments are another story. Obrecht says that kind of injury is a high risk for infection. Maxie wants to be with him.

Faison wants to know what’s in it for him? Jason sits down. He says Faison gets to stay alive. Faison asks for how long? Jason will cut him loose, hunt him down, and kill him without a trace; the perfect death threat. That’s why he took him. Jason asks why he took Drew, and Faison says because Jason has brain damage.

Finn tells Anna take a breath; Faison isn’t going anywhere, and she can let down her guard. She doesn’t know how to do that under any circumstances. Finn says if it’s any consolation, he doesn’t either. He wants to tell her that he’s an idiot. She asks why, specifically? He says he walked away from her, but he never should have, and has regretted it every day since. She has regrets too.

Maxie takes Nathan’s hand, and tells him that she loves him. She asks if he can hear her.

Nina tells Valentin about watching her brother sleep when she was young. Even then he was making the world safer.

Maxie talks to Nathan about baby clothes. She’s been thinking about sage green as a wardrobe base. He’s definitely going to wake up. Or die from boredom. She can’t wait to see what their baby turns out like.

Lulu and Dante arrive at the hospital. Lulu wants to go in, but the nurse says immediate family only. She says Maxie is her best friend, but Dante says they have to respect the hospital policies. Obrecht says she’s not immediate family, and technically, the nurse was speaking to both of them. Nina says let’s not do this here. Lulu tells Dante she’s going for coffee, and to tell Nathan that she loves him.

Griff tells Maxie that Nathan’s vitals are stable. Maxie says her husband is a fighter. She tells Nathan to take his time. She and the baby will be waiting.

Peter visits Sam and Drew. He says Nathan came through surgery, and Faison is still alive. Sam says they’re heading to the hospital soon; Drew has questions for Faison. Peter says when they first began, they wanted to keep their personal lives separate from Aurora, but the shooting just ended that. It’s a major story. Reporters will descend, searching for. Drew says, no comment. Peter tells them that the public will assume there’s a cover-up if they say that.

Faison tells Jason that mind control would be useless with him. Jason says Faison couldn’t force him to do what he wanted, so he found an alternative. Faison says that Andre had developed a procedure to map memories. He could copy Jason’s skills to someone Faison could control. Jason asks how Faison found Andrew. Faison says by happy coincidence. He saw that the Navy SEAL was the spitting image of Jason, and he was easy enough to abduct. Jason was more difficult. Once he got them both, he ran a DNA test. Faison struggles to speak. He tells Jason that he sent them to Andre while he was in Port Charles impersonating Duke. He trusted someone else with the job, and it was a near fatal decision.

Anna says Finn was almost killed twice; she can’t risk a third time. Someone she cares about being in her life makes them a target. Finn asks to whom, and she says anyone she tries to bring down. Her caring for him could get him killed. He says it hasn’t yet, but she tells him maybe the third time could be the charm. It would be smart to walk away, so if he won’t… He says he won’t. She gets up, and leaves.

Obrecht tells Nathan that he was her deepest, darkest secret for a long time, but fate had other ideas. She was glad, being able to call herself his mutter. In the last few years, he’s been her greatest joy, but if could go back in time, she would give it up. She should have kept the truth hidden, and not wavered. His evil father wouldn’t have found him. She kisses his hand, and says, don’t leave them. Maxie says he won’t; he’s going to make a full recovery. She gently leads Obrecht out, saying give him time to rest. Obrecht tells Maxie that she used to think she was just a bit of fluff, but she was wrong. She leaves, and Maxie tells Nathan that she used to hate it when people said “love and light,” but gets it now. He’s been that for her since he showed up at her apartment. She remembers it like yesterday. She thought he was hot and nice. He was her Prince Charming, but she didn’t know it yet. It took a pair of handcuffs and an abduction to make her wise up. Then he kissed her, and she realized her heart had chosen him, so she finally chose him. He’s her happiness.

Peter tells Drew and Sam that the only way to control the story is to own it. Make a statement, and lead with the truth. Sam says they’ll consider it. Peter hopes that’s not a polite way of saying no. Sam says it isn’t, and she’s glad Faison was stopped, and he wasn’t hurt. He says he’ll keep them posted, and leaves. Sam asks what Drew thinks. Drew thinks he’s right; lead with the truth. He owes it to his family, and himself, to find out who he really is. It’s time to confront Faison.

Obrecht marches toward Faison’s room, and Anna stops her, saying she can’t kill him. Obrecht asks if this is some cosmic attempt at humor. Why is she protecting him? She says she’s protecting Nathan. Faison will get the punishment he deserves. She needs to be with her son. Obrecht calls Faison a cancer, and says if Anna won’t let her kill him, she urges Anna to do it herself.

Faison tells Jason once the procedure was complete, Drew was sent to Helena’s programmer, and Jason was supposed to die. Henrik betrayed him. Jason wonders why, but Faison doesn’t know. He says Henrik is treacherous, deceitful, and consumed with jealousy. Jason owes his life to Henrik’s rebellion.

Nina visits Nathan. She’s proud of him. He’s amazing and incredible. He had all a child could want, except love. Valentin watches from the doorway. Nina says Nathan went to school with upper crust, socially acceptable kids, but despite that, turned out great. He rebelled by being an upstanding citizen. He was little when all that happened to her. She woke up, and saw an incredible man, a good man. Her baby brother became her big brother. He’s a reminder of everything good in the world; he’s good. He made Nina good. She loves him, and he makes her better. She tells Maxie that he has that effect on people. She kisses him, and says he deserves all the happiness in the world. She tells him to pull through this.

After she’s gone, Maxie moves on to talking about mobile themes and childproofing. She wonders if there are baby balls; like hamster balls, but for babies. She comes out, and asks Dante to sit with Nathan. She tells him not to leave his side, and tells Nathan she’ll be right back. She’s leaving him in the safest hands.

Finn sees Anna, and she says sorry she upset him. He says, she didn’t. He gets it. She’s complicated, leads a dangerous life, and it’s not fair to the people she cares about. They care about each other, and she doesn’t get to throw it away. She doesn’t get a choice; none of them do. He doesn’t want to feel this way, but can’t turn it off and can’t talk himself out of it. He wants to be with her. Anna says she doesn’t want to be with him. Finn says she’s lying. He knows it’s messy and dangerous, but who cares? Whatever it is, it could be a colossal mistake. She says it could get him killed. He tells her he spent years looking death in the face, and death is tired of him. Why don’t they see where it goes?

Jason asks Faison where Henrik is, but he doesn’t know. He suggests Henrik is hiding in plain sight, using an alias. He can tells Jason how to find him – for a price.

Peter sees Lulu at Kelly’s, and asks if she’s all right. She doesn’t know, and he sits down with her. She says she never wanted to marry a cop, but Dante… Even though she’s terrified when he steps out the door, it’s impossible not to love him, even though she could lose him. Peter tells her that he’s sorry. He can’t imagine what she’s going through. Lulu tells him that no one ever says it out loud, but there’s a dirty little secret to being married to cop. You’re proud of them, but more than anything, you want them to be safe. When a cop goes down, even when the cop is your best friend’s husband, the shameful part is that you’re grateful the fallen cop isn’t the one you married.

Dante tells Nathan how he appreciates what he did for him and Lulu. He was pissed at the time, but if Nathan hadn’t done what did, they might not be together. In a way, Nathan saved his life. He’s seen Nathan do brave stuff, but nothing so brave as locking him and Lulu in together.

Alone in the bathroom, Maxie cries.

Dante asks Nathan if the kid should have a say in who their godfather is. What if the kid takes one look at him and starts screaming? He suggests they make a deal. They’ll wait until they meet the kid, and see what happens. Maxie comes back, and asks how her guy is.

Anna tells Finn if she was different, maybe they would be able to pursue it, but she doesn’t have that luxury. They can’t just turn off feelings, but she thinks they should try. Finn isn’t buying it. She says it’s for the best. He says they might live longer, but who wants to live denying their feelings?

Obrecht tries to call Britt.

Faison tells Jason that if he tells him how to find Henrik, Jason has to meet terms. Mean Jason presses on Faison’s wound, and says no. Faison says he’s gotten all the information he can from him, and if he wants to know about Henrik, talk to his brother.

Finn tells Anna she owes him one good reason. She says she’s told him a billion times. He wants brutal, honest, masochistic clarity. She says they don’t fit. She doesn’t want him in her life.

Lulu tells Peter that everyone warned her, but she was arrogant enough to think she could face Faison. Peter says Nathan chose to reveal himself, and Lulu says, she helped him. He says she’s a good reporter, and not to second guess herself because it’s not the result she wanted. He tells her to follow up. Write a happy ending.

Faison tells Jason that his brother knows more than he realizes. Finn walks in, and says Jason can’t be in there. He doesn’t care if Faison lives or dies, but he won’t be complicit. Jason says when he dies, it won’t be because of anything that happened here.

Jason tells Anna that Faison explained why he replaced him. It’s because has brain damage. Whatever he does to control people, it won’t work on him. It was Henrik’s job to get them to Andre. He thinks Henrik is hiding in plain sight, and Anna wonders if he’s in Port Charles. Sam and Drew join them. Anna tells them that Nathan is in critical, but stable condition. Drew asks what about Faison? Jason says he talked to him, and he was in Port Charles when they were taken to Andre. Henrik was left in charge, but he doesn’t know why Henrik let him live. They have to find him. Drew wonders where to start, and Jason says Faison implied that Drew knows.

Maxie talks about a new house, and a swing set. Nathan finally opens his eyes in self-defense. She says she’s been waiting for him, and he smiles. She takes his hand. He asks if she’s okay, and she says he saved them. He says, Faison? She tells him, shot like he deserves. She tells Nathan to rest and get better. She thinks listening to her reading baby books out loud will help his recovery, and he wonders how many baby books there are. She kisses him, and says he scared her. He says, sorry, and she tells him that he’s forced to spend the rest of his life making it up to her. She feels baby move, and so does he.

Finn tells Anna that Faison is being moved. Anna says she’ll let Jordan know. He tells her to do that, and walks away.

Drew tells Jason that he has no idea what Faison is talking about. Jason says Faison told him that Drew knows more than he realizes.

Lulu writes on her laptop about Nathan fighting for his life with Maxie at his side.

Maxie tells Nathan that his eyes are like a hug. He says if the baby gets his eyes, he hopes it gets her smile. She admits she does have great smile. He says he loves her, and drifts off. Then he flatlines. I say, oh sh*t!

Tomorrow, Curtis hopes for a happy ending, Stella wants Jordan to do something about it, and Nina runs from Valentin.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Hanna tells Candace that her latest john is her father. Everyone is like, what? and dude can’t get out fast enough. Benny asks if Hanna is telling the truth. Hanna says you never know, and asks what stopped Candace from sleeping with him? Candace asks how she knows, and Hanna says she doesn’t, but he could be. He could be any one of these men, and she needs to think about that. She thinks it’s sad that Candace is letting men come in she doesn’t even know. Candace says Hanna told her that she didn’t know; she was probably whoring too. Hanna says that’s one thing she never did. Candace says just because they didn’t pay her when they were done, doesn’t mean they didn’t pay; she knows a whore when she sees one. Hanna says she came here to bring the letter; is this what Candace wants to do? Benny says either Candace leaves with them, or he’ll drag her out. She laughs, and Benny grabs her.

Hanna tells him stop. Benny says he’s not letting her stay, but Candace says he doesn’t have a choice. Hanna wonders what’s wrong with Candace. How can she let these men do this to her? Candace says Hanna doesn’t even know who her daddy is. Hanna asks if it really hurts her that bad, not knowing, and does she really want to know? Candace says, speak, Hanna. Hanna says he was a rapist. She was a kid, drinking and feeling free, hanging out with her friends at the club. She was walking home at 3 am, but she was with her friends. She lived two blocks away from them, and couldn’t find her key, but kept walking. She passed a man who asked if she was all right. She said she was good, but there was something about him that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She started walking faster. She wanted to run, but her feet wouldn’t move. She could see the house, and looked back, but he wasn’t moving. When she ran up on the porch, she still couldn’t find the key. Her aunt wasn’t home, and she crouched down, but she could hear him coming. He passed, and she didn’t move. She stayed there for two hours, and her aunt came home high like always. Her aunt passed out on the couch, and Hanna thought she was okay. She locked the doors, and went in her room.

When she woke up, he had his hand on her throat, and she could feel him inside of her. He told her if she screamed he’d kill her, so she just laid there, screaming on the inside. Tears are rolling down everyone’s face at this point, including mine. All she could see was his eyes and his nose. Candace’s eyes and nose. She could also see his tattoo, and won’t forget it. She wasn’t going to tell anybody. Her aunt ended up in a 12-step program, and they both started going to church. She felt better until she realized she was pregnant. She didn’t want Candace. She didn’t want a rape baby. She wanted an abortion. Her aunt said no. If she wanted to stay, she couldn’t abort a baby. She felt lost, scared, and alone. She looked for something in men, and kept making mistakes. Then one day, Candace kicked. She felt her, and knew it was something that belonged to her. She loved Candace, and when she came out, she was beautiful. Even though she had his eyes and nose, on her, they were beautiful. She was innocent and pure, and Hanna felt so much light. She loved her. She was still lost, and looking for herself in men. Candace saw it, and Hanna saw her light getting dimmer as time went on. She’s sorry she wasn’t always nice to her. She wishes she could have been nicer, but loves her still. She wishes she could see the light in Candace’s eyes again. When Candace told her she’d been raped, it devastated her. She went back to God, and her joy and strength came back. She knew who she was. She loves Candace. She always has and always will, but hopes one day she sees the light come back. If I was alone, I’d be freaking bawling. That was absolutely heartbreaking.

Candace says good job, good story. She doesn’t believe most of it, except how Hanna treated her like hell. Hanna thinks maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. Candace says she can leave now. Hanna says she can, but sits and takes off her shoes. She claps the soles of her shoes together, and Candace asks if it’s voodoo. Hanna says, Matthew 10:14. She and Benny leave. Candace cries like I want to. BTW, the verse from Matthew is about shaking the dust of your shoes off when someone won’t receive what you have to say. I’m paraphrasing, but I knew that’s what she was doing.

David goes to the station. He asks to see Jeffrey, saying he’s Jeffrey’s attorney. The officer has to call the DA first. There’s no answer, and David responds the same way I would, asking what does he mean, it’s the DA’s office? The officer asks David to have a seat. A woman asks if he’s a lawyer, and starts telling him her problems. He says actually, he’s a judge now, and she calls bullsh*t.

Sarah calls Jim. She says she can’t meet him. He says she can. She says she’s in a different position now. He asks if she’s appealing to his moral sense, because he doesn’t have one. She tells him that she can’t talk about cases. He tells her be prepared to talk – into a pillow. She hangs up, and looks like she has a headache.

At home, Benny asks if Hanna is all right. She just wants to lie down. He asks who’s Derek, and reads a note on the counter: Hope your day gets better. Hanna says he fixed the sink and washed the dishes; she needs to thank him. Benny says he knows it’s true, and he’s sorry. She says it was a long time ago, and it’s over. We look to the Lord and move on. He asks if she had counseling. She says from where and with what money? He thinks she should talk to someone, but she says she talks to the Lord. He thinks she’s in a lot of pain, and asks if she’d talk to a therapist. He’s going back to work with Mitch, and he’ll get some money together. She agrees. He tells her he loves her, and she says she loves him too.

Benny goes upstairs, and Hanna calls Derek. She thanks him for doing the dishes, and says he didn’t have to. He says the sink should have been fixed, and it’s the least he could do. She asks what she owes him, but he says it was under warranty. She could go for coffee with him though. She wonders if he’s asking for a date, but he says it’s just coffee. She asks why, and he tells her that he thought maybe he could make her smile. She thanks him, but doesn’t think so. He says she has his number if she changes her mind. She tells him that she’s dealing with a lot. He says she could use some good company, but she says she doesn’t know him.

Kathryn asks Derek what she said, and he realizes she was eavesdropping. Derek says she turned him down. Kathryn wants to call her, but he says no. He understands begging won’t stop her, and says, please. Kathryn says fine – for now. He tells her that Hanna didn’t sound happy, and Kathryn says maybe she should call and see if she’s okay. Derek thinks Hanna will know they talked, and Kathryn accuses him of making things difficult.

Benny calls Mitch, but gets a call on another line. It’s Veronica, who’s still in the hospital for observation. She says she owes him; he saved her life. He says anyone would have done it. She says the girl she was with didn’t do anything, and asks if he can come by; she wants to thank him in person. She’s in debt to him. He agrees to come.

There’s a knock at Candace’s door. It’s new girl. Candace says, never keep her waiting. She introduces her self as Gia, but Candace says her new name is bottom bitch, and Candace is her new pimp. Gia is working in several pimps’ territory, and she’s offering protection. Gia says she’s going, but Candace says she’ll beat her ass herself. She rips Gia’s dress and looks her over. She says she’ll make her a lot of money, but needs a dress that isn’t from the dollar store. She’s giving her Erica’s number, and telling her to get Gia clothes; Maria can do something with her hair. She’s pretty, but needs to know how to work it. Gia insists she’s not a prostitute. Candace grabs her bag, and looks at her ID. She sees Gia is her real name, and says she was born to be prostitute, but needs a fake ID. Gia tries to get her purse back, but Candace tells her, grab it again and she’ll beat her. Gia says it’s her first time, and Candace says she’ll show her the ropes and protect her. She can make Candace up to $10K a night. She has older clientele. They’ll blackmail some of them, but when they’re done, she’ll be happy. Gia wonders why Candace isn’t doing it herself, but Candace says she’s on to bigger and better things; Gia will pick up the slack. Candace tells her to unlock her phone. Gia says no, and Candace slaps her, telling her to never make her ask twice. She puts her number in the phone, and tells Gia to check in with the bartender; she’ll be working on Tuesdays and Fridays. She tells Gia rule number one is that desperation leads to arrest. Candace texts Gia’s number to herself, gives her stuff back, and tells her goodbye.

David waits at the station. The officer says he called the DA. David tells him to call again, but the officer says, sorry. David calls Jim, and asks if he knows someone with pull at the DA’s office. Veronica had Jeffrey arrested for Quincy’s murder. Jim asks why she’d do that, and it dawns on him that Veronica still refuses to accept Jeffrey is gay. David says they won’t let him see Jeffrey. Jim says Kathryn’s father’s name still moves mountains. If he calls her, she’ll hold a grudge because David came to him first. David needs to make the call. Jim tells David to let him know what happens.

David calls Kathryn. He needs her help. She says she’s not doing anything for Jim, but he says it’s for Jeffrey, and explains about Veronica having him arrested. Kathryn says that bitch is treacherous. David says they’re not letting him see Jeffrey, and asks if she knows someone at the DA’s office. She says she does, and he asks if she would please do something. She can’t believe it, and says if the accident had been any worse, it would have done them all a favor. David has no idea what she’s talking about, and Kathryn tells him what happened. He asks how Veronica is, and Kathryn says, who cares? She’ll call him back.

Justin gets Jeffrey out of lockup. He cuffs Jeffrey, and shoves him to the interrogation room. This is getting old. Jeffrey asks if Justin found his dad, and Justin says he should bash Jeffrey’s face in. He throws Jeffrey’s phone on the table, and it starts to ring. He tells Jeffrey to answer it, which is kind of difficult while wearing handcuffs. Jeffrey picks up the call, and Wyatt asks why Jeffrey isn’t answering his phone. Jeffrey says he can’t talk, and Wyatt asks why he answered? Wyatt tells him to keep that a-hole from calling him. Justin asks if he’s the a-hole, and Jeffrey tells Wyatt to hang up. Wyatt asks what’s with this guy, and Justin asks what’s with him; are they lovers? Wyatt says they are, and Jeffrey tells him not to do that; just hang up. Justin asks if he’s at home, and tells Wyatt to stay there. Wyatt says he’ll be waiting, and calls Justin toots, making me laugh, and Justin hangs up.

Justin says Jeffrey lied, but Jeffrey says Wyatt is lying just to get under Justin’s skin. He tells Justin to stop it; it’s crazy. Justin says there’s something up; look at how many missed calls. They must be lovers. Jeffrey says they’re friends. Justin says he heard Jeffrey say he loved Wyatt, but Jeffrey insists it’s as a friend. Justin asks what’s up with the emails, and reads one where Jeffrey says how much he loves him and wants the best for him. Jeffrey repeats it’s as a friend, and Justin asks what about him saying he still wants him. Jeffrey says those emails are private; they’re to himself. Justin says don’t make him send Jeffrey back bloody, and Jeffrey wishes he’d try it. He tells Justin again that those were private emails. It’s how he journals, and they’re to himself. Justin doesn’t believe him, saying he sacrificed everything for him. He’s been looking for an apartment for them. Jeffrey says he’s in jail, but Justin says he’s getting out.

Jeffrey says this is crazy; he doesn’t want to do this. Either take him back to his cell or he’s banging on the door. Justin tells him to go ahead. Jeffrey starts kicking the door and making noise, but Justin puts him in headlock.

Next time, Justin confronts Wyatt, Mitch says Veronica is in love with Benny, and Melissa comes on to Benny.

If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. – Matthew 10:14

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle and Erika go shopping. Kyle is into velvet. I am not. She says the store reminds her of Pretty Woman. Erika says Tom is almost ready to go back to work. She’s enjoyed taking care of him. He could be bratty, but there was something sweet about it. She explains to us how her life dramatically changed after meeting him, and she is Pretty Woman. She tells Kyle that PK’s birthday is a 007 theme, and talks about driving the Pagani. She enjoyed being with Dorit, and says they had a chance to communicate. She buys a baseball jacket that’s $300, and I think of my beloved baseball/letter jacket that cost me $35 at the vintage clothing store in Red Bank. I like mine more.

LisaR goes over her schedule with her assistant. She says the town is built on 20-year-old girls, and one of the smartest thing she did was branch out early. We see a clip of her on QVC. She gets an email from Emelia, and Harry has agreed to get a puppy. She has more than she can handle, and now he wants to add a puppy into the mix. She says she’ll just be its fairy godmother. #ThatsWhatHarryDid

LVP and Teddi go riding. There’s a stable near the Fairmont Hotel, and LVP likes to spend the night there to be near her horses. It’s absolutely beautiful on the trail, and Teddi calls it a mini-paradise. LVP’s horse only speaks French. Why am I not surprised? They have tea afterwards. Ken brings out a tray for them. Giggy! Harrison! Schnookie! Teddi passes on the muffins, and LVP tells Ken about Teddi having once been two hundred pounds. She thanks Teddi for the spa day. We see clips of Teddi’s beach house, and she says she’d love to invite everyone, but doesn’t want to worry what wine glass goes where. LVP says, who cares? It’s like not offering a ride in the Rolls Royce because it’s dirty. She wants to know who said it. Teddi won’t say, but tells her someone complained about the wine being poured into the wrong glass, and LVP thinks she knows who it is.

Dorit brings LVP out to the yacht she’s having PK’s birthday party on. She wants the party to be extravagant. She wants an exclusive, glamorous event, and says, who better to bring along? They’re going to fly in on a helicopter, and LVP jokes that PK will laugh when he gets the bill. Dorit thinks a responsible amount to spend is between a Range Rover and a Rolls Royce. LVP thinks she needs to focus; sometimes she can get scattered. Really? I hadn’t noticed. Dorit says Boy George wants to do a duet of Fever with her, and she’s conferred with Erika. LVP asks if she’s seen the kind of moves Erika does, and says she feels nervous for her. LVP tells her about riding with Teddi. Dorit admits she’s the one who got upset about the wine glass. LVP explains not everyone is comfortable with the lavish lifestyle, and thinks Teddi is sweet. She stressed that it wasn’t a problem, but she didn’t feel comfortable. Dorit says she does pay attention to those things. In her interview, LVP doesn’t think she should put Teddi down, but asking for the right wine glass isn’t judgmental. Dorit is finding Teddi a bit tightly wound. I don’t think it was that she wanted a different glass. She didn’t ask outright, and wouldn’t shut up about something she saw as a major faux pas.

Mauricio and Kyle meet Teddi and Edwin for lunch. Edwin talks about the beach house. In her interview, Teddi says she’s a casual person. She doesn’t have to be the perfect host, and her friends are fine with that. Edwin tells them about meeting John Mellencamp for the first time, and realizing Teddi was telling him the truth. Teddi says for as long as she can remember, with anyone who came into her life, her dad made it clear not to mess with his daughter.

Dorit tells assistant Mollie she can’t take the stress. She’s rehearsing with George, and PK keeps asking what’s up. She thinks he’s going to be surprised to see his parents, since neither one of them like to fly. PK shows them his new glasses, and George thinks maybe he shouldn’t go shopping on his own.

LisaR visits Kyle. Kyle is freaking out. Her house is a disaster zone, and at this rate, she could be living like this for years. Kyle talks about the party being on a boat, and LisaR hates boats. Every time they take a trip on one, it’s gone bad. She lists all the trips the Wives have gone on, where boats were involved, and it was a disaster. We flash back to all that, including the slap by Brandi heard round the world. Kyle says she thinks Teddi is intimidated about inviting people to her beach house. The invite says they can stay at a hotel, and that she’s not a master chef; she’s more into potluck. LisaR wonders what you’d bring to a potluck. We flash back to LVP teaching Adrienne Maloof how to prepare a chicken.

Erika and Mikey join Dorit and George at the rehearsal studio. Erika says the more you sell it the better it comes off. Oddly enough, Fever is one of my best karaoke songs, torch singing being my specialty. George says it’s like the perfect song, and Erika tells her to channel Billie Holiday. Mikey gives some stage direction, and Erika tells her to draw the audience in. Stare someone down, and dare them not to like your performance. I like that. Dorit says it’s like tango, and Erika says it’s like hooking on Sunset. We see a clip of Mikey directing Gretchen Rossi for her performance with the Pussycat Dolls.

Dorit is wearing a fabulous grey strapless gown. She tells PK what to wear. He thinks they’re having a birthday dinner, and has no idea what’s really going to happen. She needs to get him to a helicopter, a yacht, a speedboat, and another yacht. James Bond music plays.

All the women have a hard time walking down the gangway to the yacht in their heels. LVP wonders how it will be going back after some champagne. Everyone looks gorgeous. Erika thinks the plans are impressive, and PK’s mother says she thinks Dorit is trying to beat what PK did for her birthday. Kyle and Boy George talk about being on Celebrity Apprentice together.

PK doesn’t know the area, and wonders where they’re going. The arrive at an airport, and he thinks they’re going to Vegas.

The MC says PK and Dorit will be flying over them shortly. The helicopter lands, and they get into the speedboat. Another accomplishment for a woman in heels. PK tells Dorit that she’s clever. The guests gather to yell surprise. In her interview, Dorit says when PK sees his parents, he’s going to lose his mind.

The guest of honor arrives, and everyone yells, surprise! PK tells Dorit it’s too much to take in, and LisaR tells her good job. LVP says PK is normally the caretaker of everyone, and it’s wonderful to see him so overcome. Dorit says she poured her heart and soul into the party, and it means everything to her to see him so emotional. LVP says she wants to stick her face in the caviar. In her interview, Teddi says these women go for weeks without eating, but put some caviar in front of them and they’re like pigs at a trough. Kyle wonders if Mauricio is taking and Uber copter. LVP is surprised that Dorit got everything together so quickly.

After dinner, the MC tells everyone to head upstairs where there’s a casino and a special performance. Dorit says she’s dying. She tells PK she’s going to the bathroom, and Erika gives her some last-minute coaching. She tells Dorit it will be adorable, and just do what they did in rehearsal. Dorit is appreciative of her support, and says it’s the only thing getting her through. Dorit, wearing a slinky, sparkly black gown, takes the mic, and tells PK how much she loves him. She can’t let his 50th go by without it being epic. She calls out George, and they sing. Erika says it takes a lot of balls. LVP says it’s actually not bad, which is my assessment too. Dorit thinks she nailed it, and tells PK she loves him again.

Dorit asks Teddi for a quick chat. Dorit says she really likes Teddi, and thinks they get on well. She brings up that LVP mentioned the wrong glass issue without naming names. Teddi says they’re going to be different, but should like each other for it. LVP and Kyle join them. LVP says it shouldn’t have been such a big deal. Dorit says it’s etiquette. Teddi says Dorit is better at that, but she doesn’t really care about it. Dorit says when things aren’t a big deal, she doesn’t say anything. Kyle interjects, and Dorit asks if she’s speaking for Teddi. In her interview, Dorit wonders how she got to be the bad guy in all this. Teddi says it made her feel weird with Dorit focusing on a glass. Dorit says Teddi isn’t just exaggerating, she’s lying and making sh*t up.

Camille, LisaR, and Erika talk about how great Dorit’s performance was.

Dorit calls Teddi a psycho. I’m not sure what’s wrong with Dorit that she has these overreactions to certain things, and ends up blowing them up even more. Kyle says they keep repeating themselves. Teddi keeps saying it’s fine when it’s not, and Dorit isn’t going to shut up. Kyle says they’re all psycho, and leaves; LVP a beat behind her. Teddi asks Dorit if they’re okay, but Dorit says Teddi plays like she’s casual, but she’s really high strung. She hugs Teddi, and says thanks for coming. Teddi escapes.

Next time, Teddi says Dorit is like water torture, Kyle feels like LVP and Dorit are ganging up on her, and LVP walks out of a conversation.

😯 I watched Stripped again, and it gave me a better perspective of the show. Social media influencer Richie found out what it was like to be away from the likes, and have to ask for help. Apparently, they are allowed to be gifted with goods and services, but not items. In being away from everything, it showed him that he had people in his life who really cared about him; not just followers. It also gave me two great quotes:

Richie smelled like onions today. I was so confused at that odor. – one of Richie’s friends, who he went to dinner with, wearing literally nothing but overalls. And –

Depression is the luxury of people who don’t have to fight for survival. – a counselor, mastermind, or whoever they are, from the show, who Richie met with.

😑 It’s Been a Long Day…


January 24, 2018 – Faison Meets Finn, NJ Reunion Wraps & Eddie Seeks Revenge


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Jason asks if Sonny has had any word from Sinclair. Sonny says he’s gotten nothing, but someone is intercepting the emails. Is Jason thinking what he is?

At her insistence, Finn meets Felicia at the MetroCourt. She asks when he’s telling Anna he loves her

Anna asks Sonny for a favor in Robin’s name. Back off PK Sinclair.

Maxie goes to the hospital for her appointment. Kim asks who her uniformed friend is, and Maxie says it’s Officer Shane; she’s in need of extra security. While Kim prepares for her appointment, Nathan joins Maxie. He tells her there’s been no trouble from the landlord or the protesters. She asks why he seems so stressed, and he says there’s been a Faison update. Apparently, he has a brother.

Lulu tells Faison that her husband is a detective. He’s Nathan’s partner, and they must be looking for her. Faison says, excellent. She going to bring his son into his arms. Obrecht tell him to leave her son alone. He asks Lulu if she thought she could outwit him? Look how that turned out. Lulu tells him that he’s making it more difficult than it has to be. She can set up a meeting if he gives her the phone. Obrecht asks if she’s insane, and if she wants Nathan and his family to die. Faison says she used the word “family,” and asks if there’s a grandchild. Obrecht says she was referring to his wife, and he tells her don’t lie to him. Does Nathan have a child? She says, no, not yet.

Maxie asks if Obrecht had two boys, but Nathan says his brother has a different mother. Maxie wonders who are all these women having sex with Faison? She admits she wouldn’t have Nathan, but yikes. She asks where his brother is, and Nathan says his mother gave him up at birth. He was raised by Faison, but hates him, and the feeling is mutual. Maxie asks what Obrecht said about it, but Nathan can’t get in touch with her. He needs more information before he can deal with it. Maxie can’t imagine how Nathan feels; everything he knew and is, is a lie. She tells him no matter how many people claims to be family, the only one that matters is theirs.

Faison says, their first grandchild, adding no congratulations or anything, and Obrecht lied. Lulu says to let her call, and he tells them both to shut up, calling them two pieces of garbage. Obrecht says not to Anna. His obsession is fond of Lulu if hurt. If he hurts her, Anna will never forgive him.

Finn tells Felicia, no appetizers; she’s going right into crazy talk. He’s not in love with Anna. Felicia doesn’t believe him. She’s all about the chase, but it’s gone on too long. Finn asks what she’s talking about, and she tells him to cut the crap. Everyone can see it, but neither one of them will admit it; they’re at a standoff, with no one making the first move. It has to be him. He asks why, and Felicia says Anna is hurt. They all are, but without betraying her confidence, Anna is more complicated than he realizes. She’s dealt with trauma, and he needs to do what she can’t. She tells him to be brave and man up. Tell Anna he loves her or he’ll lose her.

Sonny says someone is intercepting the emails, and Anna says that would be her. She asked him to notify her, but he refused. He says now she shows up asking for a favor? Jason asks why she cares so much, and Anna says she doesn’t care. She doesn’t know him, but she cares about what happens to him because she’s been there. He’s obviously been pushed too far by Faison, and wants to strike back. It’s not a position she envies. Years go by, and you think it’s over, then there he is, telling you he loves you, and all the time torturing you. She starts to tear up. She says there’s no escape, and thinks he feels the same way. Sonny tells her they’re on the same side. He wants to stop Faison from hurting anyone again. Jason needs to do that. They need his son.

Finn knows Felicia means well, but she’s wrong. He and Anna don’t fit. Felicia asks why? Finn says, because, and she tells him that he’ll have to do better than that. He says he’s still struggling with his recovery, and doesn’t know what the future holds. It could be forever, and Anna doesn’t need that uncertainty. Felicia says she’s a WSB agent; uncertainty is a way of life. Finn says that’s another thing. She’s an agent, dealing with guns and bad guys, and he’s in the market o save lives. Felicia thinks it’s the same thing, and Finn says Felicia gave him a B, a measly B. Felicia says it’s a solid B. When they got together, the way he and Anna looked to and spoke about each other, she knew they were faking it, but there was something real underneath. He can come up with a million reasons why not, but it’s up to him to find the one reason why they should be together. They’re both lonely, and they love each other. They’ve found the treasure – loving and being loved in return. She says he’s truly a curmudgeon, but doesn’t think he’s foolish, so do the smart thing. Choose Anna, and she guarantees she’ll choose him back, even though they’re both just as stubborn.

Anna asks why Jason wants Heinrich, and Jason says he was in the clinic because of Klein’s mystery client. Faison ordered him killed, but the traitor kept him alive. Anna says the assumption being they’re the same person, along with PK Sinclair. Sonny says The Severed Branch pissed Faison off so bad, he tried to burn it. Jason says they’re not just the same person; he’s Faison’s son. Anna asks if Jason wants to find out why he was kept alive, and Jason says, yes. Sonny says, but the real reason to draw Faison out is that he orchestrated the program to replace Jason with Drew. They want to know the reason for that. Anna asks if Sonny thinks it’s about him. Sonny doesn’t know, but the easiest way to get rid of him would be to get rid of Jason. Anna tells him to focus on Faison, and she’ll handle Heinrich. Jason says they can’t get to Faison without his son, and Anna says, then what? If they use him as a lure, Faison will kill him. Do they want his blood on their hands after Jason was kept alive because of him? Because of him, Jason isn’t dead; there has to be another way. Sonny says forget about him and Jason, she’s Robin’s mother, and Faison put her through hell, taking Robin away from them for years. No more. He has to go.

Faison says Anna betrayed him, and left him to die. He feels nothing for her. Obrecht says then he won’t care that she’s found love again. He asks with who, and Obrecht says a good man, a world renowned doctor, Hamilton Finn. Faison says he didn’t keep her alive to punish her, but he’s sure she recognizes this. He puts a cannister on the ground and leaves, locking the door behind him. Lulu tries to open it, but can’t.

Kim asks about stress managing, and Maxie says it’s all good, thanks to Nathan. Kim tells her that a good partner is a huge gift, especially with parenting. Being a single parent is tough. She calls Nathan in, and does the ultrasound. Kim says the baby is perfect, but a little shy; she can’t determine the gender, but maybe next time. Maxie reminds her not to tell them, and she says she’ll put it in an envelope like Maxie asked. Maxie says Sam might not have been into her gender cake, but she is, although she did force it on Sam. Kim shows them the screen. Maxie says, we made that, and Nathan says, yeah, we did.

Lulu says, wth? Obrecht tells her it’s carbon sulfate, a lethal gas the DMX created. Their intention was to sell it. Anna thwarted the plan, but Faison escaped. Lulu finds what looks like a dog grooming tool, and cuts Obrecht’s bonds. She asks how old the container is, and Obrecht thinks about twenty-five years. Lulu thinks it can’t still be effective, but Obrecht says if the gas doesn’t kill Lulu, she will.

Finn knocks on Anna’s door, and let’s himself in. He calls to her, and when there’s no answer, he sends a text.

Anna says no one wants Faison handled more than her, but not at the expense of his son. Sonny says he took Robert from her, and took Jason; he’s only going to stop if they stop him. Jason thinks the best what is through Heinrich. He gives Anna his word that he won’t hurt Heinrich. He just wants to meet, and if Heinrich cooperates, he’ll do everything in his power to protect him. Anna gets a text from Finn. It says that he’s waiting for her, and they need to say what they haven’t been able to. She tells Sonny that PK Sinclair wants to meet, but no location is set. She gets another text, and says it’s set now.

Finn flashes back to his banter with Anna, where he told her that he’s the only thing preventing her from putting on a bathrobe and adopting a cat, and they ended up kissing. He hears the door open and close, and turns around to see Faison. Faison points his gun at Finn. I wonder why Anna gets all the cool guys.

Kim tells Maxie and Nathan that everything looks good. Maxie says she can’t with the cuteness. Nathan says it seems real all of a sudden, in the best way. Kim says except for the one scare, the pregnancy is going beautifully. Felicia comes by, and Nathan gives her his spot. Felicia looks at the screen, and says it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

Shane tells Nathan that Dante is trying to reach him. Obrecht called an Uber to Anna’s, but wasn’t there when it arrived. No one has seen her since yesterday.

Lulu balks at Obrecht saying it’s her fault. She just got him riled about Anna. Obrecht says he’s always riled about Anna. Lulu was like a child playing checkers with a nuclear device. Lulu says Nathan decided it was the right thing, but Obrecht says it was set in motion by Lulu, and for what? A story to further her career? Congratulations, she got her wish. Now they’re all paying the price. Lulu won’t apologize for trying to put an international criminal in jail. Obrecht says she’s arrogant as well as foolish. She tells Lulu here’s a reality check. Faison made Robin disappear, and did the same to Jason. Lulu thought she’d succeed where Sonny failed. Lulu says she wasn’t thinking, and Obrecht tells her that she kept Faison’s son from him for a reason, at enormous cost to herself. Now it’s for nothing. Lulu says maybe they’re not going to die in here. Obrecht says she can’t warn Nathan. She can’t do anything; it’s over. Lulu says not if they can find an escape.

Anna tells Sonny and Jason that PK will be at the park at 10 pm. Sonny says he’ll be there, and Anna says she will too. Sonny says Jason will meet with him, and he’ll monitor things from a distance. Anna says they’ll drive him off. It needs to be her. She might get him to lower his guard. She promises not to make a move without checking, and tells Sonny it’s better to work with her than against her. Jason says 10 pm, and Sonny says they’re going to find Faison. Anna says when they do… and pauses for a moment. She finishes by telling them to call the authorities.

Faison says Finn must be Anna’s new love. Finn asks who he is, and he introduces himself, saying Anna must have mentioned him. Finn says, not a word. Faison asks how long he’s been seeing Anna, and he says a couple of months, but she doesn’t talk much about her past. If he’s part of it, Finn can’t blame her. Faison says he’s not part of her past; he’s her destiny. He’s known her since she was a kid, and always knew. The more she fights it, the more he’s sure. She’s been his greatest opponent, and she’ll be his. Believe it. Finn tells him people don’t own other people, but Faison says he’s never experienced the love of the soul. Finn says he’s been salivating over her all these years, but it’s never happened. She’s not that into him. She’s smart, kind, and courageous, and no doubt looks for those qualities in a partner. He doesn’t want to be harsh, but she’s out of his league. Faison says, but she’s in his? Finn says he should be so lucky. Faison says his problem is he thinks Finn is a man Anna could fall in love with, but he doesn’t want her too. Does he kill him, or keep him alive and get the upper hand to make Anna do what he wants? Finn rushes Faison.

Felicia introduces herself to Kim. She says the prospect of having a grandchild in their home town has her and Mac excited. The lab calls, and Kim goes to get the sono pictures. Felicia tells Maxie at least she’s not blubbering like Mac when he put together the crib. They also have a glider and a changing table for when the baby spends the night. They’d started reminiscing about when Maxie’s sister was little, and Maxie says she misses Georgie, especially right now. Felicia says she’s with them in spirit. It’s a wonderful time for her. She has an amazing husband, a thriving daughter, and another baby on way that they can spoil rotten.

Nathan tells Maxie that it’s official; they made the perfect baby. Maxie is feeling better after seeing it; everything has been put in perspective. They’ll be fine. His father can’t touch them.

Lulu thinks there’s an entrance to a tunnel in the room. They just have to find it. When they get out, she’ll send Nathan to Anna, which is probably where Faison went. Either way, he’ll get captured. Obrecht helps Lulu look.

Sonny tells Jason that he’s never seen Anna like that. Nothing ever fazed her, and now she’s two seconds away from losing her mind. He says it’s the same look his mom had when Deke would hit her. She’d hear the door open, and freeze. He couldn’t do anything then, but he can now. Anna isn’t going to be living in fear anymore.

Anna sees a cigarette butt outside her door. She picks it up.

Kim gives Felicia a sono picture. Felicia thanks her for taking good care of Maxie. Kim says she’s lucky to have such a good family.

Maxie insists the baby has Nathan’s nose. Nathan says no matter whose nose it has, the baby will be so loved. Nathan gets text has to go back to work, and Maxie gives him one of the pictures.

Obrecht tells Lulu the walls are as secure as Fort Knox. Lulu says there has to be an entrance somewhere. The gas starts to release.

Sonny tells Jason that when Anna turned back, what she said about calling the police wasn’t what she really wanted to say. What she wanted to say was, don’t miss.

Anna goes in, gun drawn. Faison has his gun on Finn. He says, hello, Anna. Lovely to see you.

Sonny tells Jason to line up the shot. Jason says he won’t miss.

Tomorrow, Kiki thanks Griff, Amy visits Maxie, and Faison tells Anna to drop the gun.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion Part Two

When we last left the reunion, Sylvia Miles Crypt-Keeper cock-a-roach Kim D joined the group. Kim tells Teresa, mess with her, and she’ll be back in jail, clink-clink. Teresa gets up, but thinks better of it, saying Kim is lucky she’s on probation. I don’t think I’ve ever used this word in regard to a Housewife or Friend of, but Kim D is repulsive. We flash back to Kim D’s highlights from this season, both on the scene and being talked about. Kim says Teresa wants to fist fight everybody, but Teresa says she wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

Andy tells us that last season Dolores and Siggy were peacemakers, but not so much this season. They believe they did the right thing by walking in the fashion show, but claim they still defended Teresa. Teresa says they can see Kim’s track record. Kim says Teresa changes friends like underwear, but Dolores says they’ve been friends forever. Since Kim is totally wrong, she says that’s the way she sees it. The fashion show made a whole grand each for the two recipients of the event. Melissa thinks Kim got more out of it than they did, and Kim whines about having to pay for the dinner. Melissa hums circus music. She says Kim likes to stir the pot, and goes for the jugular and talking about people’s families. Kim admits to both pot stirring and going below the belt, and Melissa asks if she realizes she goes too far. She suggests Kim bring it down to a level where children aren’t hurt. Kim calls them all frauds. Teresa says if anyone would look at Kim’s W-2’s and 1099’s, it would be clink-clink for her too. Kim says she has two businesses, and Teresa says one of them is prostitution. Andy sure can pick ‘em.

Andy asks if Teresa is alleging she’s a madam, and Teresa says, yes, a magdum [sic]. Kim says she isn’t, but wouldn’t have a problem with it. Andy says he could kind of see it. Kim says Teresa steals from other people, and says something about Joe #2 that I don’t catch. Melissa tells her be gone, and Teresa says she’s dried up. Andy asks what’s up with Siggy. Siggy says Teresa has a right to be angry, but the county is small, and when you’re not getting along, it’s hurtful. Melissa says she can’t have her cake and eat it too. Andy asks Siggy how she’d feel if Kim said Michael was cheating. Siggy says she would be devastated, and hope the girls would have her back. Dolores says from now on, she doesn’t want to know anything. Kim swears she’s not a troublemaker, but thinks some of the things they say are evil. We almost say goodbye, but Teresa says Danielle didn’t get to say anything.

Danielle asks why Kim didn’t intervene at the fashion show a million years ago, when Danielle got her hair pulled? She asks if they were friends for real, or did Kim just want to get on the show? Kim says Danielle got uptight about things she should have let go, and that’s how the friendship ended. Kim leaves. Siggy talks about trying to set her up, but says Kim can’t get over her ex.

Siggy has two more books coming up; one about divorce, and another about bullying geared to children. The look on Margaret’s face is priceless. We flash back to Siggy’s world. Andy asks why she uses Michael’s last name when she talks about him – something I’ve been dying to know – but she just likes the sound of it. She talks about moving to Boca now that Josh is gone. She’s working less, and spending more time with Michael. Andy asks about the pellets, and she says she hasn’t had a hot flash in eight months and her sex life is great. She also encourages anyone with a credit card to have plastic surgery. Margaret says her advice is valid, but wishes she’d take some of it. Siggy says she practices what she preaches, but with Margaret, it’s a toxic situation. She claims Margaret doesn’t like her. Siggy asks how many lawsuits Margaret has going on, and acts like business bankruptcy is a big deal. Andy mentions the recent lawsuit where Margaret was accused of stealing a whale design. Margaret explains it’s common in her industry.

Andy mentions what great relationships the ladies have with their families. We see clips of Marge Sr., Teresa’s father, and the other parents. Margaret calls her mom a sex kitten. Andy suggests Marge Sr. hook up with Teresa’s dad, but Melissa says she’s way too modern for him. Teresa thinks he should find a rich woman to take care of him. Dina (from previous seasons) tweets that she loves Marge Sr. Dina’s home invasion is discussed. I’d forgotten about that. It was horrible. She’s lucky she’s not dead. Teresa says it’s still being investigated, and I get creeped out all over again.

The Franks are examined next. We flash back to Frank Sr. coming back home, and Frankie going off to college, as well as clips regarding Dolores’s absent boyfriend. Andy asks what’s going on with that. She says she and David are still together, and seeing how things go. A viewer questions her relationship with Frank. Andy asks if they’re getting back together, but she says they’re not apart. They are not, however, having sex.

Andy says while everyone else welcomed Danielle, Dolores thought she was back for revenge. We flash back to their altercations, including Dolores calling her a crazy scumbag, and accusing her of being on drugs. Dolores says she made up a story that Dolores said Teresa just cared about money, although Danielle remembers it vividly. She claims Dolores was basically bringing her up to speed, going through what was happening with each person. She says it wasn’t that big of a deal, but she thought Teresa needed to know what she’d said. Dolores asks why she would leave Siggy out. Well, because they’re joined at the hip. Danielle doesn’t think she had ill intentions.

Andy asks what proof Dolores has that Danielle is on drugs. She has none, but says Danielle seems off, and is maybe using Xanax or something. Danielle says she’s never done any such thing. She gets they don’t like her, but shut up and stop calling her names. Dolores immediately calls her a skank. Danielle tells her to STFU. Dolores also calls Danielle a professional victim, which is funny, since that seems to be Siggy’s role.

They take a break. and backstage, Danielle calls Dolores a piece of sh*t. Dolores says she loves to get Danielle “to that point.” Teresa tells Danielle it’s not true, so don’t even pay attention. Danielle calls Dolores a bully, and wants the camera off.

We move on to the Italy trip. Margaret says they sucked the life out of Italy, and she’s not sure if they’d be welcomed back. Melissa just wanted some authentic pasta and wine with the girls, but it didn’t happen. Next, we see how one comment changed a friendship forever, and stroll down Hitler Memory Lane, with Margaret using Hitler in an analogy, and Siggy deciding she must be anti-Semitic. Margaret says she was in shock. The comment was actually the opposite. She wasn’t calling Kim D “Hitler,” just making a point. She says it’s a common analogy, and she’s never had that problem before. Siggy said nothing at the time, and waited until they got to Italy to pull out her accusation. She says Kim D was assassinating Teresa and Melissa’s character, and she doesn’t just judge her friends by how they treat her, but also how they treat others. Siggy, who can barely sit in her seat, says she can’t do this. Andy asks if anyone knew what anti-Semitic meant. Everybody pretends they did, except for Teresa, who says nothing. Andy tries to ask Danielle a question, but Siggy won’t shut up. When Danielle points out she’s trying to answer, Siggy huffs and puffs, and says, oh, it’s her moment. Andy asks what was going on when she went nuts at dinner? Danielle says she hated seeing Margaret crying and upset. She’s not anti-Semitic, and has raised Jewish children. Margaret asks Andy what he thought, and he says he didn’t think the analogy was out of line. Siggy says her father said the name should never be spoken, and Margaret says she failed to mention Margaret had a Jewish husband and children, and even Siggy’s father thought she went too far. Siggy starts pointing her finger, and saying, shame on you. Margaret says Siggy wanted to hate her, and that was that; she’s sorry she made Siggy unhinged. Siggy says she’ll be going back to her fabulous life, and Margaret points out how she’s always talking about how much she has. Surprisingly, Andy jumps in, saying, he’s so on the other side with this. Not to take away from Siggy’s feelings, but he’d called his parents, who also didn’t think it was offensive. Siggy says the name should never be brought into casual conversation. End of story. It’s how she feels, and she doesn’t give a sh*t what anyone else feels. Alrighty then. At the beginning of the season, I thought, poor thing, she’s having a difficult menopause, but by the end, I realized she’s just insane.

Andy asks Danielle if she’s glad she came back. Shockingly, she says she is.

In the final moments, Andy wraps up season 8 with the rose and thorn thing; what’s the best and worst of the season for each of them. Dolores says the worst was her friendship with Teresa being questioned, and the best was that it didn’t break the friendship. Siggy says the pellets were the best, and fighting with Margaret was the worst. Margaret agrees that their fighting was the worst, and says she thinks it ruined everything for everybody. Andy wonders if that will ever change, or are they just not meant to be friends? Margaret says she puts things behind her quickly, but Siggy feels how she feels. Siggy says everything is timing, and she doesn’t bounce back quickly when she’s hurt. Andy thinks this means never say never, and says look at Teresa and Danielle. They’re friends, even thought it took eight years and “going away.” Our favorite jail euphemism. Siggy is visibly uncomfortable, and possibly embarrassed. I would be if practically everyone in the world told me I was wrong. Melissa says her thorn was watching the pain of the family when her mother-in-law passed away, and her rose was getting envy back on its feet all on her own. Teresa worst was losing her mom; she can’t believe she still standing. She says going away was nothing in comparison. She’d go twenty more times to have her back. It was the worst thing ever. I get seriously choked up, since I can understand her grief. She says the best part was watching her daughters. Since her mother’s been gone, there hasn’t even been a dish in the sink. She’s proud of them.

Andy says it was a long, but memorable season that started with a cake, so it’s only fitting they end with a cake. Melissa hopes no one throws it. It’s a replica of the one Siggy had made for Melissa’s birthday. They promise to eat like adults, but Teresa puts some on Andy’s face, and asks if she can lick it off. I’m not kidding. He nixes that idea, and says Joe #1 better come home soon.

And New Jersey is out.

Next time, The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Secrets Revealed

If Loving You is Wrong

Kelly finds out Travis is dead. Lushion is like, Kelly… Tony Isaacs says let her talk. He asks if Lushion is her counsel, but he says just a friend. Tony tells him to go. Lushion tells Kelly that he’ll make some calls, and don’t say a word.

Tony asks what happened, but Kelly wants her lawyer. Tony says she’s going to jail then. She asks if she has to go to jail if she talks, and he says she can talk to him or her lawyer. She starts to talk about Travis being at the window, but thinks better of it. She tells Tony that her lawyer’s name is Ian, and he tells her they’re trying to help; they’re friends here. She asks if they’re the same friends who wouldn’t listen about him stalking her. She refuses to say anymore, and he tells her it makes her look guilty. Kelly says she knows her rights, and she wants her lawyer. Tony tells her in the meantime, she gets a jail cell. She freaks a little, and backs away.

Tony accuses Lushion of coaching Kelly. Lushion says she knows her rights, and Tony says she knows how to wield a knife too. Maybe he meant to say that, but I think Tony is confusing the cases. She shot Travis. She’s accused of stabbing Ramsay. Lushion says her lawyer is Ian, but tony says not anymore. Lushion says Tony has been known to lie, but Tony says he’s been known to interrogate. Lushion says Travis was bad news, but Tony says he read both of their reports and it doesn’t look good for Kelly. Lushion tells him to look closer; there’s more to it. Tony tells Lushion to let him help Kelly, but Lushion says he can’t, and asks what church he goes to. Tony says none, and Lushion asks what about his wife? Tony says Lushion has done his homework. She goes to Travis’s father’s church. He’s biased. Travis has been harassing Kelly and destroying her life. Tony says he needs her to tell him that. Lushion says she will when her lawyer gets there.

Brad sits on his porch. He strolls over near Randal’s house. Randal sticks his head out the window, and asks what he’s looking at? Brad says he’s on his side of the yard. Randal says he’ll call the cops, and Brad tells him to go ahead. They both go back to their respective corners. Inside, Brad tells Alex that she lied to him. She’s like, what? He repeats it. He says she was over there to see Randal. She says no, but Brad says that’s what Randal told him. Alex says she wasn’t and Brad knows Randal. Brad says she knows him; he’s just learning. Alex says he should believe her; she’s his wife. He says that didn’t mean anything in the past, and she tells him not to go there. Brad asks how Randal would know that he left, and Alex says maybe he looked through the window. Brad says he’s trying, and she says she’s telling the truth. The baby starts to cry, and she says she’s not doing it; it’s upsetting the baby. Brad asks who’s baby, and she asks if this is how it’s going to be. He says he doesn’t think he can do this. He knew it was going to be hard, but he might have to leave. Alex tells him that it’s confusing for the kids, but he doesn’t know if he can trust her given the circumstances. Alex says she didn’t go over there, but he admits he doesn’t believe her. He goes back outside, and we see the cute, albeit nameless, baby.

Esperanza asks if Lushion talked to Kelly. Stephen wants to make eyes at her, but asks Lushion how it’s going. Esperanza leaves, and Lushion says not so good; how about the two of them? Stephen acts , and Lushion laughs and asks if he’s going to lie. Last night he was eye-sexing at the crime site, all cool on his motorcycle, and now he’s not talking to her? Stephen asks if they took Kelly in, and Lushion says she’s in a cell. He asks if Stephen knows a lawyer; Ian backed out. Stephen says he’ll make some calls.

Esperanza comes back, and asks what’s going on with Kelly? Lushion says they arrested her; Travis died. He’s going to make some calls. Esperanza offers to help, but he says he has it. He leaves, and Stephen says, dinner? Esperanza says her friend just got arrested, and he’s asking her on a date? He asks if he’s being insensitive, and she says he’s being a pr*ck, and walks out. Eddie comes in, and Stephen says he doesn’t want to be what she already had.

Eddie says Stephen thinks he’s funny. Stephen thinks Esperanza likes him. Eddie thinks if he catches Stephen over at her place, he’s going to kick his ass. Stephen says Eddie is a crazy SOB, but so is he. Eddie says he has no idea. Stephen says Eddie’s crazy is fueled by cocaine and chaos; his is controlled.  He asks if Eddie noticed the rest of the station looking at him funny. Last night, he was the toast in some guy’s toaster. Eddie tells Stephen to stay out of his face. Stephen says Eddie is funny; he thinks he scares him. He thinks he’s a tough guy. Eddie tells him, take a walk, but Stephen says he’s not going anywhere, and tells Eddie to get his ass out. Go to the station down the street. They don’t want him there anymore.

Marcie pulls into Brad’s driveway, and calls Ian. She’s got the contract, and he asks her to come by the office. She asks if Larry is going to be there, and he says no. She asks Brad why he’s sitting there, and he says he’s waiting on her. He asks about her car, and she’s getting a rental. It’s totaled, and they’re going to replace it. Brad calls Randal a bastard, but she says his insurance will go up too, since his name was on it. He says Randal was shouting at him about the baby. He apologizes for Alex, and says she shouldn’t have told him. Marcie tries to tell him it wasn’t Alex, but he says she’s sick of her lying. Marcie asks how he knows, and he says Randal told him. Marcie says don’t believe him. She asks what Alex said, and Brad tells her that Alex denied it, but who else could have told him? He’s thinking about leaving, and asks if it’s okay to come back to the apartment. Marcie says of course. She’s missed him, and says it was a mistake to throw him out. He says at least she didn’t tell Randal it was his child. Marcie says she fired the divorce lawyer; it’s a long story. Brad gets in the car with her.

Lushion calls Ian, and asks what’s going on? He thought Ian would be there helping Kelly. Ian says he can’t. His partner and boss was adamant. Lushion asks if he’s going to leave her hanging, and he says he texted a new lawyer’s number. Lushion says Kelly doesn’t get to have her phone in jail, and Ian says he’ll send it to Lushion. Lushion doesn’t like the idea, but Ian insists he’s good. He tells Lushion what he’s done for Kelly so far is pro bono. He says he’s sorry, but Lushion says he’s not. It’s sad and wrong, and a a good woman needs a good attorney. He asks if Ian will at least let her know personally, and Ian agrees, apologizing again.

Kelly paces in the cleanest, neatest cell ever. Esperanza comes by. Kelly says she needs her lawyer, but Esperanza says he’s not there. Lushion is handling it, and it will be okay. Kelly says he came all the way to see her at Natalie’s last night. Esperanza tells her that she’ll pick up Justice from school. Kelly worries she won’t get out, and says she’s not in the wrong. She knows she shouldn’t have shot him. Esperanza tells her not to talk about it in there, and don’t talk to the other prisoners about it. Kelly starts to freak, and Esperanza tells her to maintain her composure. Esperanza says he provoked her, and they’ll figure it out, but she has to calm down. This is also the quietest jail ever.

Marcie comes by Ian’s office. He tells her Larry is in court. She tells him the inspections are, and the closing date has been moved up. He says hopefully it will be done before his kids get there for the summer. He gives her the paperwork, saying it’s signed and notarized, and it’s all good. She says he made her life easier. He says now the hard part; have drinks and dinner with him. He won’t take no for an answer. She says she’ll text her address, and she’ll bring the keys. He says he already has them. Marcie says he didn’t need her, and could have saved the commission. He says some things are worth the investment. She says whatever he thinks he’s getting, she hopes it’s worth it. Marcie wants to jet before Larry gets back, but ugh! Larry comes in. Ian says they were just talking about him. He asks if they were cursing him out, and Marcie says, you’d better believe it. Larry apologizes, and says what if he gets Randal to sign the papers. Then she can fire him. He glides out, and Marcie says she can’t stand him, but she likes him. Ian says that’s how most of them feel.

Eddie asks Lushion if he’s good, and Lushion says he’s busy. Eddie knows Lushion didn’t have to do what he did, and thanks him. Lushion says, don’t mention it, but Eddie says he has to. Lushion is a good guy. Eddie says he called so many people, and Lushion is the only one who picked up. That’s funny, since I could have sworn he’d only called Esperanza, and even Lushion hung up twice before talking to him. Lushion asks where Andrew is, and Eddie says Rusty probably did something to him. Lushion says he doesn’t trust Eddie, or like him. He doesn’t trust what he says, and he was just doing his job. He doesn’t give a damn about him. Eddie asks what he’s putting in the report, and Lushion asks if that’s what this is really about. He’s writing what happened, and wouldn’t have to do that if Eddie hadn’t shot at them. He wouldn’t have done anything. What grown men do is their business. Eddie says he was in the backyard, and they drugged him. He says maybe they had a laugh, but everyone knows who has the last word around there. Lushion tells him that Larry is well-connected, and to leave them alone. Eddie says all the more reason to take his ass out. Lushion says not to call him; he won’t be a part of Eddie’s crimes. Eddie says he’s not committing crimes; he’s trying to take out the cartel. They’ll have to agree to disagree, but he thanks Lushion from the bottom of his heart. He shakes Lushion’s hand, and Lushion asks where Andrew is. Eddie says there will be a time Lushion needs him, and he can count on Eddie. He’ll be there.

Larry goes to Randal’s house. Randal says he fired him, but Larry says he needs to sign the lawsuit papers. And something else; the divorce papers. Randal says he’s not doing that. Larry says he will if he wants to sue, but Randal says he’ll find another lawyer. Larry says he’ll do it for free. Randal thinks Larry feels guilty about letting it slip that Marcie is pregnant. Larry says he can make Brad’s life miserable, and Randal wonders why he wants it so bad. Larry asks why Randal doesn’t want to let it go? Randal says he just doesn’t. Larry says he wants the last bit of control, but Randal says it’s not about control. He wants her to suffer. Now that she’s pregnant, he wants her stressed the hell out. Larry says he’s not suing Brad, and calls Randal a piece of work. Randal says he is, and Larry loves it. Larry says just because he loves pain and suffering, doesn’t mean he likes to beg. He tells Randal to sign the lawsuit papers. Randal looks them over, and signs them. They shake hands. Larry jokingly (I think) says, love you, on his way out the door.

Larry gets in his car. He calls the office, leaving a message that he’s sending over some documents. Eddie pops up from the backseat, and holds a gun to Larry’s head. Larry asks what he wants, and Eddie tells him to drive.

Next time, Travis’s family holds a press conference, Esperanza apologizes to Lushion, Eddie beats up Larry, and Alex slaps Randal.

👯 What is up with these reboots of 90s sitcoms all of a sudden? Have we run out of ideas?


Faison & The Severed Branch

January 23, 2018 – He’s Ba-a-ack, Candace Turns the Wrong Trick, Teddi Gives Thanks & Some Random TV Thoughts


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

At the MetroCourt, Ned tells Laura that he hates to see her drop out of the race. Lulu says at least he doesn’t have to write a concession speech now. Ned tells Olivia that her husband is going to be the next mayor of Port Charles.

Alexis and Molly go to Charlie’s. Julian asks how TJ and Kiki did on their exams. Molly says they probably did great. Alexis says it’s even more impressive, considering TJ had to suffer through their apartment building’s conditions. Molly thinks Alexis should  pick up the torch from Laura, and run for mayor. Julian thinks it’s a great idea.

Anna talks to Robert, making sure the emails from PK Sinclair will be rerouted to her, and Sonny won’t know. She goes to the station interrogation room. Dante and Nathan are dressed in their blues, since they’re going out to help with the protests on Charles Street. Nathan is tacking up pictures of all the people Faison might target. He tells Anna he’s still trying to wrap his head around Faison being his father. She says if it’s any consolation, there’s no resemblance. Dante says they’re waiting for him to make the first move, but wonders where he’ll strike next and who’s his next target.

At Aurora, Lulu tells Peter she knows she’s supposed to go through the proper channels, but her article went viral, and now she’s being lobbed softballs like covering the cat show. She wants to pitch directly to him. She says if she’s right, Faison is hiding on Spoon Island.

Finally, we see him. Faison tells Obrecht to shut up. He says they’re on the island, and she can scream as much as she wants, but no one will hear. I swear, it looks like he’s trying not to laugh, and I’m so excited, I can barely type.

At the MetroCourt, Jordan tells TJ sorry that she’s working so much, but it will help with his med school bills. TJ says he’s going to pay his own way, but Jordan says they’ll see what he says once he gets the bill. She tells him that she called for special deployment to supervise the protest. He asks what about the power outage and the fake gas leak. She says if she finds that it’s harassment, the law will come down on them like a ton of bricks. Ned and Olivia approach. Ned makes small talk, and says he’ll put their brunch on his tab. Jordan says no thanks. It’s not appropriate for her to accept a gift from a candidate. She and TJ leave. Olivia says that was smart of Jordan. Ned says he’s not the enemy. Once he takes office, he’ll be the mayor the city needs.

Molly can’t believe it, but she and Julian are on the same page. Alexis says she can’t hear her over the Seven Seals of the Apocalypse opening at the same time. She tells them that she’s a lawyer, not a politician. Julian and Molly try to talk her into it. Molly points out that Ned’s wife is the poster child for the public breastfeeding case that Alexis won. Alexis repeats General Sherman’s words, saying if nominated, she will not run, and if elected, she will not serve. Julian says they’re at war, and the neighborhood is fighting for its life.

Lulu tells Peter that she used to live at Windemere, and there are many places to hide, like secret passageways and catacombs. Her brother owned it most of her life, and she spent a lot of time there, and knows a lot of them. Peter asks what if Faison is still there? Lulu says not only can they take down a psychopath, it will boost the publication into the stratosphere.

Faison tells Obrecht she lied to him, and not to make it worse. All the years she claimed to worship him, she never said she’d had his son. She says she thought it best, and he tells her, no more lies. He asks why she thinks he brought her out here? She says he must have found her at Anna’s house, but he doesn’t want to talk about Anna. She’s dead to him.

Anna says Faison has the uncanny ability to anticipate what others thinking, and is always one step ahead. Nathan says the only reason he did the article was to draw him out. Dante looks at the photos, saying Obrecht kept him a secret, he’s still obsessed with Anna, and he orchestrated the memory switch between Jason and Drew, but they don’t know why. Anna says there should be another person there. They have no photo or description, but there’s one other person he’s targeting. Jordan has walked in, and asks, who? Anna says his other son.

Julian says he might have a terrible reputation, but he’s a legit small businessman now. These are his streets, and the people are his customers. Keeping them in their homes isn’t just the right thing; it’s good for business. TJ comes in and tells them that the apartment building has been padlocked, and the property condemned. Alexis says they should have received a notice from the Board of Health. TJ says all their stuff is still in there, and Molly says some of it can be replaced, but what about their gifts and mementos? TJ says it’s not like they’re homeless, but what about the other people? Julian says they’re going to lose their homes unless someone fights for them.

Peter tells Lulu that she has an editor. Lulu says her editor thinks the piece on Nathan was a fluke. Peter says anyone can write about a criminal and make it exciting, not so much a cat show. Lulu says he needs to tell her editor that he has faith in her, and do it before Faison claims another victim. She says Valentin is out of town, and it’s the perfect time. Peter says the police call that trespassing, and breaking and entering. Lulu tells him that she and Valentin share a daughter, and he asks if it was a wild, drunk night. She says it’s a long, complicated story, but if Charlotte left something there, she’d just be being a good mom to go looking for it. While she’s there, she could be compelled to explore. He tells her that Faison didn’t become the most wanted by being stupid. Lulu says the cops will be the ones to bust him, but they have to find him first. Maybe he left a trail of breadcrumbs, and with permission, she can follow them.

Obrecht doesn’t believe Anna is dead to Faison, and says Anna despises him. He must realize she’ll turn him in. Even now, Obrecht would do anything for him. He tells her to give him back the years he never had with his son. She says she misspoke. She can give him anything but that. He tells her to either help him or he’ll kill her. She tells him to go ahead, but leave Nathan alone. He wants to know about his son, and she says he’s nothing like either of them; he’s good.

Nathan says he has a brother? Anna says a half-brother according to Obrecht. His name is Heinrich. Obrecht came over super drunk and talkative. Jordan asks why Anna didn’t tell her, but Anna says she needed it confirmed. She just talked to Sonny, who discovered an unfinished novel about a son obsessed with destroying his father. They think Heinrich wrote it using the penname of PK Sinclair. Nathan puts a blank page up alongside the photos, saying, my brother.

Outside Charlie’s, Ned tells Olivia that he doesn’t want to scrounge for votes today. She says even if no one showed up at the polls, he’d still win. He thanks her for being beside him, but she says if she disagrees with anything or thinks he’s being an ass, she’ll let him know. She tells him to turn on the charm, and convince the doubters. They go into Charlie’s. Julian asks if “Ted” would like a table for two outside. Alexis says the last time Ned was there, it got testy. He promised a clean campaign before getting sidetracked, and Ned says he comes in peace. Since Laura is out, he’s the de facto mayor, and as such, he’d like to rise above their petty differences. Measure A is still on the ballot, and he’d like to form a special commission to oversee the Charles Street development. He’d also like Alexis to chair it.

Faison ties up Obrecht. She tells him that Nathan is a detective, and it’s his job to arrest him; he has no other choice. She begs him to do what he wants with her, but leave Nathan alone. He says he already did what he wanted with her, and because of it, they have a son. When he gets what he wants, he won’t need her anymore. He tells her to sit tight and relax.

Nathan tells Anna that his mother is a control freak; she never gets sloppy drunk. Why would she come to Anna? Anna says she’s terrified of Faison. Jordan tells them she caused a ruckus, and the neighbors called the police, but by the time she got there, Obrecht was gone.  Nathan asks how they know she’s okay, and Anna tells him that she got a text. Dante asks how his father got involved. Anna says the situation isn’t ideal, but Sonny wants to be involved. Jordan asks how that’s going, and Anna says she’s working with him, and they’ll leave it at that. Anna leaves, and Dante asks if Jordan bought that. She says, not one bit.

Peter says Lulu has a nose for news, and a lot of guts, even when sane people are saying to drop it. She asks if that’s what he’s going to tell her editor. Peter says her editor gives her the assignments, but what she does on her own time is her business. Whatever she chooses to do, be careful. His phone rings, and he tells her to promise she’s not going to do anything crazy. She smiles, and leaves. It’s Anna on the phone, and Peter asks how he can help her. She says she realizes they haven’t met, but would like a minute of his time.

Alexis wonders why Ned doesn’t campaign to preserve the area, rather than knocking it down. Ned says it’s an area in progress, and thinks it will benefit he city. Molly says they were locked out due to a gas leak that’s not real, and they’re not going down without a fight. Olivia says maybe they don’t need one. Alexis appreciates his offer, but she can’t consider it unless he discusses the elephant in the room. The giant elephant that covers 90,000 square feet when the arena gets built. She asks if he thought he was going to slip it past the voters without them noticing.

Nathan calls Obrecht and leaves a message. Jordan thinks she’s probably still sleeping it off. Dante says no one has seen anyone matching Faison’s description, but Jordan says he can change his appearance. Nathan wonders what if he never left Port Charles?

Peter says it’s an honor to meet Anna; she has quite a reputation in Port Charles. Anna says Nathan gave the interview in hopes of drawing Faison out. He hasn’t taken the bait, and wonders if Peter would be interested in a follow up story. He asks how she knows they’re not working on one already. She says what about a piece, stating an unnamed WSB source claims Faison is locked in a life and death fight with his son? Peter says he and Nathan have never met, but Anna isn’t talking about Nathan. She says another son is out there. He asks how she knows that, but she says it’s classified. He wonders how the article would flush Faison out, and she tells him they’ll include a clue leading to the son’s location. Peter says they’ll basically be writing something false to lure him in. Anna thinks just this once, it would be fine, but he says that’s where the trouble starts. He knows about justice, but also about ethics, and he’s not compromising for her or anyone.

Obrecht struggles against her bonds. Lulu walks in. Once again using a Star Trek transporter to get there.

Alexis wonders how Ned thought he could sneak something large enough to hold a hockey team past the voters, who will be footing the bill. Ned says corporate naming rights will help with the cost, but she says the taxpayers won’t see a penny. Running it will also cost money, and venues are known for skipping on utility bills. Clearly, someone is needed to speak for the people. Ned tells her that their voices will be heard, and she wonders how, over wrecking balls and jackhammers? Ned says they’re not looking to get rich; he can afford to do what’s right. Some things are coming down, but good things are going up. Life and progress are about change. They’ll thrive, and people and businesses will have a Charles Street they can be proud of. Alexis says they’re already proud of it . They want it restored and revitalized, not redeveloped. He tells her that unless she chairs the committee, it will be a done deal, but she says, no.

Anna tells Peter there’s nothing fake about the story. Faison does have another son; it’s a fact. That the son is determined to bring him down is also a fact. Peter says he needs proof to protect the paper. She says it’s not like they’re going to get sued for slander, but he says he wouldn’t be surprised. Actually, neither would I. He needs to verify that they’re doing the right thing. Anna says public safety is more important than the paper’s integrity. They’ll be held up as heroes. Peter says, and no one will believe anything else they say. She thought he wanted to help, and he says if he gets verifiable information, they’ll jump on it. She says it’s about shedding the light on truth using deception. They’ll be deceiving a dangerous criminal. They get their man, he gets his scoop, everybody wins except Faison. Peter tells her he’s not compromising the integrity of the paper. She asks what about Drew, who lost all of his memories? He’s the co-owner of Aurora. Peter says if she wants to go above his head, that’s fine, but in the meantime, he’s running the company to the best of his ability. Anna doesn’t believe he really wants to help, and asks why? He doesn’t know what she means, and tells her good day. When she’s gone, he ponders. Rumor has it, he’s the other son.

Nathan tells Dante he has a father from hell, and a brother who’s a chip off the old block. Dante says he hates Faison; how bad can he be? Jordan tells Nathan that she has round the clock surveillance on Maxie. Dante says Lulu has done her first and last story on Faison.

Obrecht tells Lulu to hurry; he could be back at any moment. Lulu says the knots are complicated, and Obrecht tells her to find something sharp to cut them. She can’t find anything, and decides to call Dante. Too late. Faison takes the phone out of her hand. He says if she wants a story, she’s got one

Ned tells Alexis sorry they don’t see eye to eye, and she says he sounds like a politician. He says opinions and suggestions are always welcome. She tells him it’s not a suggestion; it’s a political platform. He asks whose? He’s running unopposed. She says, not anymore. She’s officially running for mayor.

Anna sees an email from PK Sinclair. It says, ready to meet tonight.

Nathan leaves another message for Obrecht, saying he’s worried and to text him. He needs to know she’s okay. Jordan says Faison has evaded capture for years, and has to know they’re looking for him. Whatever brought him to Port Charles, he’s not leaving empty handed.

Faison tells Lulu thanks for the article, and Obrecht says, see what hell she unleashed? He tells Lulu that she should have stayed out of it. Now what is he supposed to do with her?

Tomorrow, unless I have a heart attack from all the excitement, Maxie asks what’s wrong, Felicia wants Finn to tell Anna that he loves her, and Anna asks Sonny for a favor.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Hanna says Benny doesn’t learn. He tells her that Veronica was in an accident. She says that doesn’t explain why he was holding the snake by the tail, and tells him to stay away. She wonders why he won’t listen. She says they just buried the baby, and she’s not burying him. She asks if he’s still sleeping with her, but he swears he’s not. She says Veronica is dangerous. He says he and Mitch just happened to be there and asks why she’s at the hospital. She tells him that she had to go to the morgue for Quincy Jr’s things, and shows him the letter. God please help grandma to stop yelling at mommy and help mommy to be a better person and take care of me. Hanna asks where Candace is, and Benny says the Artisian. Hanna wants to show it to her, but Benny says she’s not in a good place. Hanna says she never is. He asks her to think about it, but she says she’s not thinking about anything, and to leave Veronica alone. She never actually says Veronica’s name, but calls her “that woman.”

Hanna asks Benny what room she’s in, but he doesn’t want to say. He tells her if things get bad, Veronica can help him. She says Veronica won’t help anyone but herself. She’ll bury him, and not think twice. She doesn’t get why he won’t listen. The nurse comes out, and says Veronica is asking for him, but he says he’s busy. Hanna asks what’s going on. He says Veronica just needs somebody, and Hanna suggests she ask for her husband, but remembers he won’t have anything to do with her either. Mitch asks if Benny is leaving, and Hanna says he is. Mitch says he’ll catch up with Benny later.

At the Artisian’s bar, man asks if he can buy Candace a drink, and she compliments his watch. She orders a drink, and asks him to hand over his credit card to the bartender. She asks what he wants, and he says to be nice to a beautiful young lady. She says time is money, and he’s like, oh, okay. He says a beautiful woman like her sitting alone at a bar says a lot. She asks what it says, and he tells her that she’s working. She tells him it says she’s expensive. She asks what he does, and he tells her that he’s a truck driver, but she doesn’t buy it. He asks what she does, and she says make men like him very happy. She says to meet her in an hour or get lost. He calls her a mean one. She tells him to call his wife and say good night, since he’ll be busy, and he says yes ma’am.

Charles and Landon have a drink in the hotel room. Landon says Charles will make a lot of money when he gets out of office with book deals and speaking engagements. His popularity is off the charts already. They toast to the voters. Charles gets another drink, and calls Landon a lightweight when he doesn’t want one. Landon asks about the Army. Charles didn’t see combat, but he learned discipline. He needed to change his life, and get away from a girl. Landon says he probably has a crazy effect on all women. They’re all over him, and they all want to be the First Lady. Charles says he’s not into any of them, and doesn’t like to mix business with pleasure. Landon says he doesn’t do it, but it could be okay with someone with as much to lose who could keep secrets. Charles says don’t let him find out he’s running around with one of these women, and Landon says he’ll never have to worry about that. Charles decides to turn in. Landon watches as he takes off his shirt and flops on the bed.

The DA calls for Jeffrey, who’s taken out of lockup and brought to the interrogation room. George introduces himself. He wants to chat about Jeffrey’s case. Jeffrey says he wants a lawyer, and he’s not talking. George says he’s just curious why his mother would give him up like a tossed salad. Jeffrey isn’t saying anything, except that his dad is his lawyer. George tells him that his mother said it was her, but Jeffrey says she lied. George wonders if she’s getting back at him for telling Jennifer he’d testify. He asks if Jeffrey knows Judge Marsh. When he says no, George says he knows her husband, and asks if he isn’t sleeping with him. Jeffrey wants his lawyer. George says his mother was in an accident. Jeffrey asks if she’s okay, but George doesn’t know. She was in a car that flipped over, along with his fiancé. George asks if his fiancé knows he’s having an affair. Veronica seemed excited about it, but he told Jennifer he was gay, and she was making him live a lie. George asks why his lawyer’s not there? Jeffrey says he called, but doesn’t know. George says they’ll give him another phone call, and lets him go back.

Erica compliments David on the dinner. He says sorry it was on the floor, but she thinks it was romantic. They talk about furniture, and he asks if she’ll help him decorate. She says what if they get to know each other and find out they don’t really care for one another? He thinks they’re past that, and it’s not going to happen. She thinks she should just leave, but he says, and go where? She doesn’t know. Wherever she goes, he’ll find her. Her sister is the only family she has. He tells her to stay there with him. She agrees, and they toast to themselves. He kisses her. He’s going back to his condo to get his furniture, and tells her to stay there. She tells him the police are at the front door.

It’s Justin, who tells David that his son told him to get in touch, since his calls were going to voicemail. Jeffrey needs his help. He’s in jail because Veronica had him arrested for Quincy’s murder. David thanks him, and goes back inside. He asks Erica if she’s okay; she’s shaking. She says her ex is an officer. David says it was about his son, and he has to take care of something. He’ll leave her the keys and call her when he’s on the way back. Outside, he leaves a message for Veronica, telling her she went too far this time, and answer the damn phone.

Justin’s phone rings. It’s Wyatt calling Jeffrey’s phone. Wyatt asks if it’s that damn cop, and says to put Jeffrey on the phone. Justin tells him to stop calling, and Wyatt says the jealous thing is ridiculous. Justin says call Jeffrey again, and he’ll bash Wyatt’s head in. Justin hangs up, and Wyatt calls again. He asks who Justin thinks he is, and Justin says he’s coming over to show him. Wyatt calls back a third time, and gets voicemail. Wyatt leaves a message asking where Jeffrey is, and why that thing is answering his phone.

Derek arrives at Kathryn’s house. He tells her that she doesn’t owe him anything for Hanna’s sink; there was a loose ring causing the clog. She has a couple of small jobs for him, and asks if he met Hanna. He wonders what she wants, and realizes she’s playing matchmaker, but Kathryn insists she’s not. He asks if she created the clog in the sink. She ignores that, and asks what he thought. Derek says Hanna seems like a nice lady. She wants to give him Hanna’s number, but Derek says to give Hanna his number. Kathryn says Hanna is a traditional southern woman, and he has to go after her. He says between her and Veronica, he doesn’t know what to do; Veronica also keeps trying to hook him up. Kathryn tells him not to listen, and Derek tells her about the accident.

At the hospital, the doctor tells Melissa all the tests look good. He asks when she last had a checkup, but she doesn’t know. He thinks they should make sure the baby is okay, but she says she’s fine and doesn’t want any tests; she doesn’t give a damn about the baby. She wants to know where that bitch is, and is disappointed to find out Veronica is going to recover. The doctor seems kind of shocked at the way she’s talking, but geez, you’d think he’d be just a little more concerned.

Bartender Rocky asks if Candace wants another drink, and she says she does. He asks if she’s had a hard day, and she tells him to pour the damn drink, so I guess that’s an affirmative. He tells her careful. He heard people talking, and there’s a guy who looks like vice. She asks about new girl, checking out a young woman at one of the tables. Rocky says she’s doing well, and Candace asks if he got his cut, telling him you always pay the house. He asks when that started, and she says now; she’ll talk to her.

A dude comes up to Candace, introducing himself as Leonardo. She says he’s vice; she can smell them. He asks if she’s a working girl, and she says she’s a college student. He asks why whores come to nice places, and not keep in their lane. She says she’s studying law, and if he doesn’t stop bothering her, he’ll be fired, and to get away with his cheap-ass aftershave. He moves on to new girl. Candace tells Rocky that he’d better warn her, but on second thought, don’t. See how it plays out.

Melissa goes to Veronica’s hospital room. She sits on the bed, and tells Veronica she looks bad. We should all look this bad. She looks maybe a little bit tired. Veronica says Melissa tried to kill her, and Melissa says she tried to kill the both of them. Veronica says she’s crazy as hell, and Melissa says, that makes two of us. Veronica says she’s not taking care of Melissa’s mother anymore; she’ll be starving and hungry. Melissa doesn’t give a damn. She says Veronica doesn’t get it. She’s a crazy-ass girl who’s out of control; she has a rebel streak a mile long. Her dad died, and she didn’t get to say goodbye, and it’s now Veronica’s problem. Veronica says people die, and it’s a good thing Melissa is having her grandchild. It’s the only thing keeping Veronica off her ass. She asks why Melissa is there. Melissa says she needs money, and starts digging in Veronica’s purse. Veronica asks if she’s lost her mind, and Melissa asks if she just figured it out. She calls Veronica a bitch, and screams as she leaves the room. That was interesting, and I wonder if the director (does Tyler Perry direct these too?) just let her have at it.

Veronica calls the courthouse, and leaves a message for one of the judges. She says her daughter-in-law is unstable. She needs to have her committed, at least until the baby is born. After she’s finished, she says the dumb bitch doesn’t even know when she’s being set up.

In his office, George talks to Sarah. He says they have Jennifer’s body with the note pointing to the Cryers; their son Wyatt says they did it; and Jeffrey is going down for Quincy’s murder after Veronica gave him up. He states the obvious, saying it’s one messed up family. He still wants more information; enough for an indictment. Veronica is such a snake, he wants to make sure all the T’s are crossed, and the case is solid, so she can’t wiggle out. Sarah wonders what more he could want, but he says they’re dealing with the Cryers, the Harringtons, and lost money. He needs some DNA. Presenting a dysfunctional family at each other’s throats won’t work; he needs something solid. Sarah says they’re working on it.

Out in the hallway, Oscar comes up to Sarah, and hands her a phone, saying it’s for her. It’s Jim, but she pretends not to know who he is. He says he needs her at a hotel room at lunchtime. She tells him it’s not possible, but he says, sure it is. He thinks she’d better get her ass there, and hangs up. Oscar asks if the call was unpleasant. As he walks away, he says if he was her, he’d be there.

There’s a knock at Candace’s door. It’s Benny and Hanna, but she doesn’t want to see them. She doesn’t want to hear anything Hanna has to say. Hanna asks, not even from her own baby? and gives her the letter. Candace reads it, and Hanna says the baby knew this needed to be fixed. Candace says there’s nothing to fix; she let them kill her son. Hanna says, no, she didn’t. Candace says she doesn’t have time for this; she’s busy turning tricks. Hanna asks what it’s going to take, and Candace says, her dying. Hanna says the Bible says we should forgive, and Candace calls her the perfect saint. Hanna tells Candace that she never said that, but she’s wondering where all this anger came from; she doesn’t understand. Hanna says she’s sorry. She’s prayed, stopped praying, and doesn’t know what else to do. Candace doesn’t care. Benny says he’s not doing this anymore. He tells Candace that their mom has a nice house with plenty of room. Candace tells Hanna not to worry about her stepping into the house Hanna’s “massa” got her. Hanna hoped the letter would shake up something, but guesses there’s nothing. Candace wonders how the bullets missed Hanna. Hanna begged her for Quincy, and he would have been safe in foster care; he’d be alive. She says it’s just as much Benny’s fault, and to get out. Benny says War wasn’t after him. Hanna says that Candace has to make it the way she wants it, and to let it go; she’s hurting. Candace says Hanna knows nothing about her and to get out. There’s a knock at the door, and the truck driver (or not) comes in. He thinks he has the wrong room, and Candace says they need to go.

Hanna says Candace has to let truck driver dude go. He’s her father.

Next time, Kathryn continues to play matchmaker, Justin attacks Wyatt, and Hanna tells Candace she was an unwanted baby.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LVP arrives at Vanderpump Dogs. She meets Peanut who came from a hoarder. She’s incredibly tiny, and I want her. They also have her sister. LVP thinks having the puppies come in feeds her addiction. She says Ken is going to want this one. He’s very attached to Giggy, and wants him cloned. It costs fifty grand, and LVP isn’t too sure. She thinks of what the money could do for the rescue. In her interview, she says he’s never talked about cloning her. They discuss the lawsuit. They were going to merge with another rescue center, and Ken thought they should withdraw. He had given them $40K, and now the woman is suing, saying Ken reneged on the partnership. Ohh, Peanut is sleeping half inside Ken’s shirt. LVP thinks Ken needs to be more stringent and careful.

Teddi visits her esthetician, Josh. She’s not into shopping, but likes a facial. She’s a fan of Botox, but has steered clear of fillers until now. She tells Josh about the Vegas trip, and thinks bringing Josh over is an appropriate thank you gift. She says they don’t have a lot in common, but they’re all concerned with their appearance.

Kyle is hands-on with American Woman, and we see clips of her involvement with the show. She says they film in the same lot that she and Kim grew up on. Kyle gets choked up watching an episode. She says as a child, her mom hid her vulnerability, but she can see it with an adult perspective now. She feels her sisters don’t understand the project, because it’s “inspired by” not “based on” their life. If she wanted something new as a kid, her mother would tell her to get a job and work for it. That’s how my father was. True story. The summer before my senior year of high school, my boyfriend was in NYC attending summer acting school. I wanted to visit, and my father was like, no way. I argued that I couldn’t do anything there that I couldn’t have done already where I was, since I was home alone while my dad was at work. He saw the logic in this, but told me although he’d pay for the plane ticket, I had to pay for the rest. That was fair.

Dorit asks Erika to come along to shop for PK’s birthday gift. Erika is glad they’ve put their differences behind them. The shopping trip is a chance to communicate without outside influences. They discuss men acting like infants when they get hurt. The rich – they’re just like us! Dorit goes to a Pagani dealership, but neither one of them know anything about these cars. The dealer tells her there are only thirty of them and the car is three million. Erika says Mr. Gerardi would have a problem with that. They take it for a test drive with Erika driving. She thinks it’s like driving a spaceship. It blows away her Lamborghini, and she’s like Little Sisters of the Poor in comparison. Dorit says if she buys this, PK won’t be thinking about the car, but taking her to an insane asylum for spending so much.

LisaR puts heavy cream in Harry’s tea, and it curdles. Harry says there’s a reason he does the cooking. He’s doing three different projects. LisaR gives Harry credit for turning down roles when the kids were small, so he could be there with them. Harry thinks Delilah going to NYC before she has things lined up, gives her too much leeway, so he doesn’t want her going before classes start at NYU. LisaR thinks the kids have to learn the hard way, and that sometimes you have to get your heart broken. Harry says his mind goes to scary things, but LisaR says she has a bubble of white light around them. He says he feels so much better now, and asks if creeps bounce off the bubbles. He wonders if maybe they could sell them.

Little dogs! Peanut! I want her! Kyle brings Portia and her friend, Elle, to Vanderpump Dogs, along with one of her dogs, Storm. One of the groomers has called in sick, so LVP pretends she forgot to tell Kyle. In her interview, LVP says she just likes to mess with Kyle, and they’re going to groom the dog themselves. Storm is not liking the bath one bit, and I can identify with this, since my Juliet screams like a banshee. It takes both of them to lift him onto the grooming table for drying, and LVP attacks Kyle with the hair dryer. Afterward, Kyle tells LVP that she got Storm from the rescue they were almost involved with. She says something like that is bound to happen when you own multiple businesses. LVP says it takes its toll, but she wonders how Ken is doing. She says it’s out for public consumption. She wonders why Teddi is so upset with Dorit, and we flash back to Lategate. Kyle says it was an argument over time that became something else, and does a wonderful impression of Dorit.

Teddi calls Dorit, and asks her to come early, before everyone else, so they can chat. In her interview, Dorit acts like an idiot about having to come a whole fifteen minutes earlier.

Teddi and her party planner, Jaime, grew up riding horses together. Teddi isn’t big on entertaining, but gets OCD when she has an event. Dorit manages to get there early. She says bright and early, but it’s just after four pm. They both get a drink. Dorit wonders why she got her rosé in a champagne glass. She tells Teddi that she’s not letting anyone touch her face. In her interview, Teddi says she was good with that ahead of time, and even mentioned it on the invite. She tells Dorit she didn’t really care that she was so late, and they immediately disagree on the time they were supposed to meet. Teddi tells Dorit that she’s never wrong about time; she’s an accountability coach. Dorit asks if she really thinks she would lie, but Teddi doesn’t know. She’s defending herself for something she didn’t do wrong, and talking about it to someone who isn’t involved. Dorit wonders how she got to be the villain. Teddi says it was obviously a miscommunication, and Dorit thinks she’s overreacting. Teddi says Dorit put her in the position of having a conversation with another woman about her. Dorit asks why Teddi didn’t talk to her, and if she’s talked to the others. Teddi says she did, and Dorit wonders what she did wrong. Teddi says she also hurt another girl’s feelings, and brings up Camille. Teddi realizes she’s not getting anywhere, and says, fine, let it go. Dorit says she’s changing her glass. I think the problem with Dorit is that she’s just plain rude.

LisaR says she’s always up for a spa day, and she needs a fluff and puff. Dorit brings up the glass again. LisaR understands the glass differences, but doesn’t give a sh*t about them. Dorit tells them she’s planning a 50th birthday surprise party for PK, and she’s thinking old school, Frank Sinatra. PK has never had anyone plan a party for him. She has family and friends flying in. His family lives in London, and she feels like there couldn’t be anything better. It’s also black tie. Teddi doesn’t focus on aesthetics, and is uncomfortable about being out of her element. LVP joins them.

LVP says she heard about LisaR mentioning her husband. LisaR says she read about it, and wondered how they were doing. LisaR insists it was nothing malicious, although it didn’t seem that way to me. In her interview, LisaR says it’s all over TMZ, so you’d better believe she’s talking about it. Not malicious? She’s so full of it.

Kyle and Erika round out the group. Erika tells us that Tom has never been at home this much during the entire time they’ve been together. She needed an escape. Dorit pounces on Kyle about the time thing, and it’s like she’s watching a ping-pong match between Dorit and Teddi.

Camille arrives. Dorit says this is the most childish conversation ever, and Teddi says drop it, and gets on the table for a procedure. In her interview, she says her glam circle is more like a circle of death. Dorit tells LVP that Teddi claims Camille was offended by what she’d said. Erika says she left the house to get some peace, but instead of a glam circle, she entered a hen circle. Everyone gets various treatments done. In her interview, LVP says if poking fun at LisaR were a sport, she’d get a gold medal. There’s also a station with flowers and terrariums and crystals. I don’t know what that’s about, but it looks really cool. I love terrariums.

Dorit thinks it’s funny to bug Camille during her treatment. Camille tells her that the c-word is harsh, because she’s too stupid to know this. Camille also wasn’t happy with her strap-on comments.  Dorit says it came out of nowhere, and if her actions caused Camille hurt, she apologizes. In her interview, Camille is sure she’s sincere, but it would take a lot to trust her. They hug, and say they’ll do lunch.

Next time, LVP discusses Teddi with Dorit, PK’s party happens along with Boy George, and Dorit calls Teddi a psycho.

🍁 Since there was a block of time between shows, I saw Stripped. It was day six, so I figured they’d at least be somewhat clothed, and I wouldn’t have to see what I didn’t want to, even if it was blurred. I thought it was a rip-off. From what I understood, the participants started off with nothing, and each day they were allowed to reclaim one item, be it a fork or pants. The two guys I saw were totally dressed, including one wearing a baseball cap, and they kept going out to dinner with friends who paid for everything. There was an interesting moment at the end where they grilled some food, and used palm fronds as plates, along with twig utensils, but on the whole, this show was nothing like I thought. And I call cheating.

💃 I’ve also kind of been watching I Am Jazz, but I feel the same way I do about Sister Wives. I like the people a lot, and there’s the dynamic of living outside the norm, but it’s just day to day stuff. My neighbors are probably more interesting. Well, maybe not my neighbors, but somebody’s.

😵 I re-watched Vanderpump Rules. Jax’s face at the end, when he sees Brittany’s mother has come to visit, is worth the whole hour.


A Pagani Car