Tag Archives: Real Housewives of New York

June 13, 2018 – Jason Finds a Way In, LuAnn Gets Out, Two Chefs Go Home, More Gordon & Coffee


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly tells herself to stay strong, stay focused, go home. She rocks back and forth as she repeats it, which isn’t exactly a good look if she doesn’t want to stay there.

Nina meets Curtis and Sam at The Floating Rib. Curtis introduces Sam as his new partner. Nina says it’s quite a change from Aurora. She asks why Curtis wanted to see her, and he says they need her help to catch Henrik

Valentin puts a record on the turntable. Since vinyl is back, I assume I don’t have to explain what a record is.

Alexis, Kiki. and Elizabeth meet at not Kelly’s, since Kiki wants to keep it private. Valentin sends Alexis a text, saying he has something for her. Alexis shows Kiki a copy of the paper. She says when the article comes out, it will send shockwaves through GH. On the front is Kiki’s picture, with the headline #GHTOO?

Ava asks if Griff knew, and if that’s why he and Kiki are inseparable.

Franco reads the paper in the locker room. David walks in.

At Pizzulo’s Sonny talks to Diane on the phone. He asks how soon Carly can be transferred to Shadybrook. Jason walks in. Mike is there reading car ads, and says he sees a Bel Air, like he used to have. Sonny tells him that wasn’t his car, and tells Diane that’s not soon enough. Jason talks to Mike about going for a drive, and Sonny tells him that Mike isn’t allowed to drive. Jason suggests they just hang there for a while. Sonny tells Diane that she did this, and she has to fix it. Sonny is pissed, and Mike tells Jason, that’s his son, always even tempered. Good thing his wife keeps him in line.

Carly does crunches. The nurse calls her Caroline, and says she’s surprised Carly is up so early. Carly explains that nobody calls her Caroline, and the nurse asks if she’s nobody. She tells Carly that her name is Mary Pat, and she’s the supervising nurse. She sees that Carly is the owner of the MetroCourt, and says, very swanky. She had dinner there once, and it was pricey. She says Carly must be used to being in charge out there, but she’s in charge in here. Mary Pat continues to call her Caroline, and says everyone goes wild for that song when they have their sing-alongs. Carly says she’s not much of a singer, but Mary Pat tells her that she doesn’t have to be Karen Carpenter; just have fun. The road to healing is paved with positive thought.

Sonny throws something, and Mike tells him possessions aren’t like trash. Like his mom used to say, no one is made of money. He tells Jason it was take your father to work day. Sonny, Jason, and Mike sit at a table. Mike says it’s business, not family, but Sonny says they might be able to use his ideas. Mike asks, to do what? and Sonny says, to bring Carly home.

Carly tells Mary Pat that she’ll keep the singalong in mind, but hopes she’s not there long enough to be a regular. Mary Pat says, that’s the spirit. Many patients have a poor outlook like it’s the end of the road. Carly promises to set a good example; she has a family to get back to. Mary Pat notes that she has a boy and a girl, not counting her deceased son.

Curtis tells Nina that her brother would be alive if Valentin had told the truth. Nina says she’s struggling with that, but whatever Valentin’s involvement was, he didn’t intend for anyone to get hurt. She’s not going to deliberately seek revenge on her husband. Sam asks, what about Peter?

Alexis thinks Kiki should take the day off, but Kiki says she’s ready for whatever comes her way.

Ava tells Griff that her daughter was sexually harassed, and she had to find out from the paper like everyone else. He says he just found out too. He suspected something was going on, but not this. Ava wonders why Kiki wouldn’t have told her, and Griff thinks she felt she could handle it alone. Ava says she’s a failure as a mother. Her own daughter couldn’t talk to her. Griff says she’s not a failure. That’s her courageous daughter speaking out about injustice at a great cost. All they can do is be there for her. Ava says Kiki won’t respond to her calls or texts, and Griff says, same here. Ava asks if Griff has any idea who the bastard is. Griff remembers David looking for the men’s room in the dressing room at the Nurses’ Ball, and Kiki crying about being stressed.

Franco tells David, the news these days, there’s always something. David says that’s why he doesn’t follow it too much; he has work to focus on. Franco says being the chief resident, a lot of responsibility is resting on his broad shoulders. It’s enough to make anyone tense. He asks David to let him help get the kinks out, and presses his shoulder with the Vulcan death grip. He tells David that Kiki is like a daughter to him, and asks how the Shadow Program is going. David says she’s not shadowing him anymore, and Franco asks, why? Did something happen? David says he’ll have to ask Kiki. Franco picks up the paper and says it’s right there. There no names, but he can read between the lines. David claims he doesn’t know what Franco is talking about, and Franco slams him up against the lockers.

David tells Franco to let go or he’ll have him arrested. Franco thinks David should be exterminated, like a cockroach. David insists it has nothing to do with him. Franco’s history makes him a more likely candidate. Franco is about to blow, and Elizabeth walks in.

Griff tells Ava that Kiki didn’t name names. Ava says he must suspect someone, since he’s close to her. He says it’s only speculation, and she tells him to speculate away. She wonders why he’s so secretive when it comes to Kiki. What is it he’s not telling her? Kiki walks in.

Sonny tells Jason and Mike that Diane petitioned the court to have Carly transferred, but it’s not an option. Mike calls Ferncliff a nuthouse, and asks why Carly is there. Sonny says there was a misunderstanding, and someone got hurt. It went to court, and the judge said it was Carly’s fault. Mike asks if she got convicted of a crime she didn’t do, and Jason says, right. Carly is innocent. Mike says they don’t send people to the mental hospital for no reason. Sometimes people need to have people watch out for them when they can’t hack it for themselves, like him.

Carly tells Mary Pat that Morgan counts; he’s still her son. Mary Pat says he’s deceased. Face it, that’s why she’s here. She needs to address it head on. Now it’s time to discuss the rules, and how they apply to her.

Curtis says that Peter escaped, and Valentin was in his cell, with no sign of a struggle. Peter left, and Valentin took his place; he must have had an escape route. Curtis needs Nina to help prove it. Sam says, if they find Peter, Nina will get justice. Nina asks what they want her to do.

Valentin tells Alexis that he has the papers. They’re signed and ready for execution. An aria plays, and Alexis asks what that is. Valentin asks if she doesn’t recognize her mother’s voice. She asks if he just happened to drop the needle on it when she rang the doorbell. He says it’s a rare recording; he gingerly placed the needle. It’s the only one of its kind. She recorded it for an audience of one; their father. It’s the second half of his payment for services rendered. She’d like to discuss the first payment. The watch clearly wasn’t his. He says it was commissioned as a gift for her mother.

Franco tells Elizabeth that the doctor and he had a little chat. Elizabeth tells him stop, and he lets go of David, who leaves. Elizabeth asks if he’s kidding; he could get arrested. David is the chief resident. Franco says he’s the chief of something, and shows her the paper. He says David has been harassing Kiki. Elizabeth asks if he admitted it, and Franco says he didn’t have to. He did this to Kiki. He’s smug and arrogant, and in a position of power. Franco isn’t going to let him ruin someone else’s life. She asks if he’s talking about Kiki or himself.

Ava tells Kiki that she’s sorry this is happening to her. She says she didn’t tell anyone. Ava asks if she didn’t want to talk to anyone, or just her. Kiki says it happened faster than she expected, and she tuned her phone off. Alexis is representing her, and they’re prepared to go to court. Ava thinks they should take steps to keep the bastard from hounding her. She asks Kiki to give her his name, and Julian will make sure of it. She’s not leaving Kiki unprotected. Kiki tells Ava to trust her, and leave it alone. She leaves, and Ava is about to follow, but Griff tells her to wait.

Sonny tells Mike that Carly isn’t getting the help she needs, so Diane is getting her transferred. Mike says, family takes care of family, and Carly is stuck somewhere that’s no good for her. Jason says it’s worse than prison; Carly shouldn’t be there. Mike agrees, and suggests they break her out. They all look at each other.

Mary Pat tells Carly that the main wing is over capacity, and it’s a sad commentary on the state of mental health care. For now, she’s in the super max wing, where they house the most dangerous and violent patients. She’ll only be there until a room opens. In the main wing, unlike her neighbors, she’ll have day privileges. Mary Pat gives her a pamphlet. It contains the rules, and the penalties for violating said rules. She continues to call Carly Caroline, and has her turn to the last section, where it says they’re to have tolerance for other patients, and respect for the staff. Mary Pat says, disrespect is not tolerated. She doesn’t want trouble, and if Carly comes up against her, she’ll find plenty of it. Carly says she just wants to go home. Mary Pat says then she’s going to follow the rules, and accept the doctor’s treatment. She’d rather be an all-star than a problem patient. She wouldn’t like that at all.

Mike asks if he said something wrong. Sonny says they have to go through the legal system. The DA went after Carly because she’s his wife. Jason says they have to make sure she doesn’t get herself stuck there longer. He has an idea, and says he’ll keep Sonny updated. He leaves, and Mike says, Jason is a strange one. He’s a nice guy on the surface, but has ice water in his veins. He asks where Sonny dug him up, and Sonny says they go way back. Mike says he’s the kind of guy you steer clear of; an enforcer. The kind that works for a ruthless bastard, who wants to own the world. He didn’t want that for Sonny.

Mary Pat asks Carly what she’s going to be, and Carly says, an all-star. That’s what Mary Pat likes to hear. Rupert is there with her meds. Just the first of many. Rupert is a pretty big guy. Like pro-wrestler big.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he could kill David. Kiki is practically family. Elizabeth says she’s an adult. He needs to trust that she knows what she’s doing, and support her fighting back. He wonders why she didn’t come to him. Elizabeth says it’s hard to find the right words and tell someone. They agree they both missed out when supportive families were being given out.

Ava tracks down Kiki in the hospital. Kiki tells her not to make a scene; she doesn’t need more eyes on her. She says it’s not about Ava, and Ava says it is; she’s Kiki’s mother. Kiki says it didn’t get serious until after she broke up with Dylan. She thought she could handle it, and was afraid to lose the respect of her coworkers. Ava says it’s understandable, except why didn’t Kiki turn to her? Kiki says she couldn’t take her on too. She has her own approach to things, and her own standards, especially when it comes to the truth and sex. They look at it differently. Ava uses sex as strategy and a weapon.

Valentin tells Alexis the watch belonged to her mother; he found it on Cassadine Island. She thinks it’s convenient how he suddenly found it. He asks if she doubts him, and she says she has trust issues. He shows her a picture of her mother wearing the watch. His phone rings, and it’s Nina, who asks him to meet her at The Floating Rib. He says he’ll be right there. Alexis asks if she can keep the picture, and he says, of course. He still hasn’t told her why he gave her the watch. He says, it’s beautiful. If nothing else, it proves how much Mikkos cared about her mother.

Curtis asks Nina if she thinks she can keep Valentin busy long enough for them to look for Peter. He helped Peter escape; who knows where he might be hiding? Nina doesn’t think they’re going to find him at Wyndemere. She gets a text from Obrecht, saying their guest requires more painkillers.

We see two people sneaking in somewhere. A hand puts a code in the alarm to turn it off. It’s Curtis and Sam at Wyndemere. Sam explains where the tunnel is, and Curtis finds the way to access it above a China cabinet. Sam tells him that it’s dark and winding, and to be careful. He hopes Nina can keep Valentin busy long enough.

Nina tells Valentin they’re done. She wants a divorce.

Alexis looks at the picture. She opens her jewelry box, and takes out the watch, as the recording of her mother plays.

Ava tells Kiki to say how she really feels. Kiki says she didn’t want to talk about it. Ava knows It’s been a difficult morning, but that’s no reason to judge her. Kiki says it’s exactly what the Twitter trolls are accusing her of. What Ava does causes women not to be taken seriously. She doesn’t want Ava jumping in, taking over, and making threats. Let her do it her way. Ava says she’s made mistakes – many – but she’s changed. Being with Griff has made her a better person. She’s sorry Kiki can’t accept it. Kiki says, her too, and leaves. I notice Ava’s wonderful hoop earrings; a small hoop connected under a large one. I love a hoop.

Franco gets an email from Sarah.

Elizabeth asks Jason how Carly is doing. He hopes to find out. Elizabeth gives him a paper, and says she hopes it works

Mike says Sonny has fine mind. He’s smart and good with people. He could be a lawyer or a senator. Why is he wasting time with thugs and hoodlums? Sonny says they’ve had this argument, and he won every time. It’s doing no good to talk about it right. Mike says, right. They have more important things to talk about. Family takes care of family. He didn’t want to stay with Sonny, but it’s working. Don’t mess with success.   

Carly says it must be a mistake. She was only taking anti-anxiety medication, and it was supposed to be taken as needed. Mary Pat says her intake orders say lorazepam, risperidone, and lithium. Carly says lithium is a mood stabilizer, and risperidone is an anti-psychotic drug. She doesn’t need it, and doesn’t need lithium. Mary Pat says her intake orders say otherwise. Carly says it’s just a surprise, and takes the pills. Mary Pat says trust is earned; open up. She tells Carly to lift her tongue. Ha-ha! I knew it; there’s pill. Mary Pat says she thought so. Did Carly really think she could hide them? So much for being an all-star. Mary Pat says, Rupert, and he stands in front of Carly.

Curtis damn maze check out stable forget it peter not here found this might put on trail

Nina tells Valentin their marriage is over. She wants a divorce. Valentin says he’d give her the world, but not that.

Alexis puts on the watch, and admires it.

Franco wants to talk to Elizabeth. Her phone rings, and she asks if she can call back. She says, congratulations? Who told them she was getting married?

Griff asks if Ava talked to Kiki. She wishes she hadn’t. It turns out her daughter thinks she uses sex as leverage. She’s so ashamed that Kiki is maybe right. She cries in Griff’s arms.

Kiki sits in the locker room. David walks in.

Mary Pat tells Carly that she doesn’t like doing this, but Carly forced her hand. She holds Carly’s nose while Rupert restrains her, and puts the pills in her mouth. She tells Carly to swallow; she can do this all day. Carly swallows them, and coughs. Mary Pat says it’s easier with water and cooperation. She knows all the tricks, and can wait. Rupert tells her not to forget about her ten o’clock appointment. Mary Pat wonders if they should get the restraints; Carly is a duplicitous one. Carly swears she’ll be good, and Mary Pat says, we’ll see Caroline. Rupert cracks his knuckles.

Sonny tells Mike there’s no point in getting worked up about the future right now; they have the present to concentrate on. Mike says like the Bel Air he used to have. It’s not the car to drive around Brooklyn. Sonny says it attracts the wrong kind of attention. Mike tells him you can’t haul a body in the trunk of a car like that. Sonny doesn’t understand what he means, and Mike says he likes a lot of trunk space.

Mary Pat apologizes for keeping someone waiting, explaining there was a problem with a new patient. She says it’s nice to meet him, calling him Mr. Nichols, but it’s Jason. She looks at his resume, and says his letter of recommendation is impressive. She says GH is a fine institution, and asks why he wants to leave and come to Ferncliff. Jason says he heard he can pick up more shifts and make more money. She appreciates his honesty, and says it’s true; they have a hard time finding and keeping custodians. She tells him that many of the patients are seriously disturbed, and asks if he has a problem with that. He says, no, not at all. Rupert watches as Carly starts to fall asleep.

Tomorrow, Kiki tells David to cut the crap, Alexis asks Doc what’s wrong with her, Franco asks Elizabeth what’s going on, and Carly sees Jason.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Dorinda and Ramona are on their way to Bobby Zarin’s funeral. Ramona got a text. They knew it was going to happen, but it’s still sad. Ramona knew how close they were. We see clips of Jill and Bobby. Ramona says she and Jill had a heart-to-heart and whatever descension was between them, they decided to let it go. Life is too short. Ramona says Bethenny hasn’t seen her in six years.

Bethenny says Sonja called while she was in Aspen. We flash back to Bethenny and Jill deciding not to be friends anymore. Bethenny says, despite what happened, she and Bobby loved each other. We see a clip of the three of them having a good time. She says she took a private plane back, and is going to the funeral for Jill.

Dorinda says he was like a Richard, and it’s a loss to the world. They don’t make them like that anymore. She says Bobby held on for a long time. People might not understand, but at some level, it must be a relief for Jill. I totally get that.

Ramona says Bobby lived to make Jill happy. If she was happy, he was happy. She hopes she’s as lucky one day. We see Bobby toast Jill as his wife, lover, and best friend, and telling her that she’ll always have him.

Bethenny can’t leave. She wants to see Jill. She feels badly; not about their relationship, but Jill’s loss. Jill tells her that Bobby loved her, and Jill says she knows. Bethenny says it’s strange; he’s supposed to be next to her. Jill says she’s alone. She hasn’t been since she was twenty, and doesn’t know what to do. Bethenny says she’s alone too. She jokes with Jill, asking, where are the gift bags? and telling her it’s a terrible funeral. In her interview, Bethenny says Bobby would never tell Jill no, but ironically, the one time he did was when she told him to fix it between her and Bethenny. He said she was wrong and had to learn the lesson on her own. Although in the end, he did fix it – with his funeral.

Bethenny calls LuAnn. In her interview, LuAnn says she saw Bobby before she went ot Florida. He was already going home with hospice care, so she knew he was dying. She didn’t expect to get arrested and miss the funeral. She met him even before she met Jill. Bethenny says she’s sorry LuAnn isn’t there. LuAnn is sorry too, but not sorry; she’s learning a lot. She spent New Year’s Eve in treatment. She didn’t know anyone, and was scared. Bethenny says she’s sorry; it sounds lonely. LuAnn says it was a different New Year’s Eve than she’d planned, but thankful. Bethenny can’t wait for her to get back. In her interview, Bethenny says she’s never heard LuAnn so raw, vulnerable, and honest. She thinks LuAnn has been humbled. She’s shocked by way LuAnn is handing it. Bethenny tells the driver (not Kevin) that she can’t take any more emotion. Geez, I can’t. This is making me sad.

Carole meets Tinsley, and they to go to the hotel steam room. Carole points out that it’s hot, and Tinsley says, it’s supposed to be. She says there are great amenities at the hotel. Carole asks if Sonja is a mess. Tinsley doesn’t care anymore; it’s easier to be friendly. Carole says it’s the same with Bethenny. She doesn’t know if Bethenny really sees what she did wrong, but thinks she’s genuinely realized it affected their friendship, and was upset about it. In her interview, Carole says they’re fine, then something happens, they discuss it, it’s fine, and then something else happens. Um… maybe that’s how it goes with some friendships. Tinsley says her mom is coming to town, and she’s trying to prepare.

Ramona is in shock to see her house under construction. She says it looks like she’s starting from scratch, and the construction dude says she is. She has no budget, and he tells her she’d get mad if she knew how much she was spending. There’s no kitchen, and Ramona thinks she should come back when it’s done. She can’t believe there’s nothing there. He says she asked for a new house, and she says, be careful what you wish for.

Tinsley’s mother, Dale, arrives, along with Bambi the chihuahua. Tinsley fawns over Bambi, as I would. She tells her mom that she’s keeping him this time. Her mom asks how Sonja’s visit was, and Tinsley says they had a great time. We see some clips of them goofing around on the terrace, and waving to the neighbors. She says they’re friends again, and she’s super happy. They go to the hotel bar for a drink. Bambi rubs his head on the dog bed like a lunatic, as my dogs do. Celebrity pets – they’re just like ours!

Dale tells Tinsley that she was drinking too much last year. Tinsley says she was getting over the pain, and can’t believe Dale is going there. They get some red wine. In her interview, Tinsley says her mother knows the things she says will probably piss her off, but she can’t help herself. That’s what moms are for. Dale gives her some papers she got in the mail, regarding Tinsley’s egg storage fee. Dale wonders what happens if you don’t pay, but Tinsley doesn’t think they thaw them out. She says this is just one more opportunity for Dale to bring it up. She wasn’t happy with some of the conversation at Christmastime. Dale kept bringing up babies and weddings with Scott. Dale says she did do something bad. She was talking to Scott, and his mother said he had plenty of time, and Dale said Tinsley doesn’t. And if it’s not working out, he should jump ship. Tinsley is horrified, but Dale thinks it’s hysterical that she said jump ship, since they were on a boat. Tinsley looks like she just got a headache, and asks why her mother is making a joke about this. It’s her life; don’t ruin her relationship. In her interview, Tinsley is afraid Dale is going to scare Scott off. She shouldn’t be around him until Tinsley has a ring or walks down the aisle. Dale suggests Tinsley try on wedding dresses, and Tinsley was hoping she would say that. She says they’re not telling Scott.

Carole is writing an article on self-esteem and confidence, and gets call from Michele at Cosmopolitan. It’s due on Monday, but she hasn’t begun it; she’s allergic to deadlines. Michele tells her to send a draft, then come in and they’ll chat about it. It’s a good excuse to get together and gossip. In her interview, Carole says she hasn’t seen Adam in two months. For all she knows, he could be engaged. She doesn’t think so though.

Tinsley and Dale go to the wedding dress showroom. They tell the concierge, or whatever he is, that they’re just there to play. He tells them, if you buy the dress, the party will come, and gets champagne. It’s kind of fun watching him work. In her interview, Tinsley says the first wedding was about her and her mom, not Topper. They had to kick him out early because he had too many opinions.  They look at dresses, and Tinsley says she needs big, poufy, and ballgown. I’m not sure if I like the first one. I’m bad at gown descriptions, but the skirt is half satiny, and the bottom half is netting that I’m not feeling. The next one is more whimsical and fun, and more for me. It’s got a beautiful embroidered netting overlay. The concierge puts a veil on her, and she says she’s starting to feel the possibilities of getting married again are real. Dale says it’s too bad they have no groom. Tinsley says there’s no ring in her future yet. The concierge asks if he knows they’re here, and Tinsley says, don’t tell him.

Dale and Tinsley sit on the loveseat and sip champagne. Tinsley says, wedding dresses, baby eggs. They have everything set up; they just need a husband. In her interview, Tinsley tells us the eggs are just an insurance policy. She’s going to try the old-fashioned way first. Dale is glad she has them. They call Tinsley’s fertility specialist to pay for the egg storage. They talk about what steps happen to create and embryo, and the doctor shows her a picture of her unfertilized eggs. Dale and Tinsley both start crying, and I think they’re insane. Tinsley says they’re her babies. In her interview, she says they’re potentially her children. Tinsley tells Dale that she’s going to do more off them, and Dale wants more eggs right now. Tinsley wants the picture so she can frame it.

Sonja is back at her townhouse. Bethenny visits, wearing SkinnyGirl jeans. Bethenny gives her a few more pairs. Sonja says her business ventures are her creative outlet, and says the shoes she’s wearing are from her collection. She says Sonja Morgan/New York is going strong, and she just got her first licensing deal. Bethenny tells her about visiting Jill with Brynn, after explaining Shiva to her. She didn’t think it was the time to take on a new emotional conversation, but Jill couldn’t believe she was meeting Brynn. Brynn said, hi, to Bobby’s picture. Jill admitted she was wrong, and Bethenny believed her; she seemed different. She wasn’t the same person. She was calm and real. Bethenny is happy there was closure, but wants to keep where it is. In her interview, Sonja says she believed they still cared about each other.

Sonja is glad her house is back in order. We see some before and after clips, and it looks great. She says she’s jealous of the people moving in now. Bethenny suggests she put her fax machine in a dumpster. She hasn’t seen one since Starsky and Hutch. Who is she faxing? Sonja tells Bethenny about her staycation with Tinsley, and shows her the Louis Vuitton thank you gift. I looked this tote up out of curiosity, and it runs about nine hundred bucks. Sonja says it was fun, and she had a nice time. Bethenny wishes she could give LuAnn a hug. She says even seeing Ramona, she felt a connection; they’ve been through so much together. She doesn’t have anger. Ramona doesn’t even know what she does. Bethenny says she’s getting sentimental, and wonders what happened to her.

The ladies (minus LuAnn) go to a workout place called Con-Body. It’s run by Coss, the owner and founder, who was in prison for seven years on a drug charge. Carole says they have to toughen up to keep up with LuAnn. She tells Coss about LuAnn’s arrest, and he asks if she’s married. Ha-ha! Coss is funny. They all get “mug shots,” and Dorinda says she’s afraid of being the next one. LuAnn’s mug shot reeks of cold and loneliness, and scared her so much, she changed her lifestyle. The workout area has bars on the doors. Tinsley says she’s been waiting for this day. This time, she’s prepared for her mug shot. Bethenny says she likes mellow exercise, not someone yelling at her. They do calisthenics. Carole asks Coss what he thinks about LuAnn going to jail, and he asks if she’s a woman of color. Bethenny says, she was on Halloween. He tells Carole that everyone who works there has been in prison. She thinks he should hire LuAnn. Tinsley says she thought she was the OG of jail.

Dorinda tells the others that LuAnn is glad not to be coming directly back to NYC; she’s going to Connecticut. She asked LuAnn if she’d be comfortable with the rest of them drinking, and she said it was fine. They talk about LuAnn being humble and vulnerable. Dorinda was glad she wasn’t one of those people who says they’ll never drink again; she just said she’d do her best. In her interview, Dorinda says LuAnn has outstanding issues, and can’t afford one more fumble. They take a group picture, and we see all their “mug shots” with LuAnn’s real one in the middle.

LuAnn leaves the treatment center. She says the past month has been eye-opening. We see news clips, and the clip of her arrest. She says she was shaken to the core. She calls Dorinda, and says she’s on her way home. She feels really good. Dorinda says it’s been a crazy winter. LuAnn says she didn’t have best last couple of years, and she didn’t really deal with it emotionally. She just kept it moving, and it bit her in the ass. In her interview, she says she was self-medicating and covering her emotions. Dorinda tells her if this didn’t happen, she might have kept going. In her interview, LuAnn says as she was standing in front of the judge, and he was reading the charges she couldn’t believe it was her. She knew she hit bottom, and needed to go to rehab. Dorinda says she must be healthy, and LuAnn says she is. She’s been working out, and lost weight. She can’t remember the last time she was able to be by herself to reflect and think. In her interview, she says she intends to change her life. She’s taking a break from alcohol, and seeing if she can enjoy herself without it. Dorinda tells her that they’re going to the Mayflower Spa. LuAnn says she just wants to be close to home, and can’t believe she said that. She heads to the Palm Beach airport.

Next time, Luann is back, Carole says her dress is the real crime (oh, snap!), the ladies take a trip to the spa, and Ramona is called out for socializing with Tom.

🗽 Bravo has been showing old episodes of the NYC Wives, and it’s fun to see long gone cast members, like Aviva. What a bizarre, nasty person she was. I miss her. And who could forget Kelly on Scary Island?

🍳 Tonight, on MasterChef, Gordon showed the contestants how to cook a crab, get the meat out of it, and plate it nicely using the shell. Those that did a lesser job had to recreate Gordon’s crab Benedict. Oddly enough, my local diner makes that, and it’s pretty good. (I live in a seafood-oriented area.) Gordon’s looked absolutely fabulous. I enjoyed watching them poach the eggs as well. I love a poached egg, and have a very vintage egg poacher; one of the few kitchen items I stole from the house when I moved away from home. At the end, Olosula and Stephanie were out, for not-so-great hollandaise sauce, and not completing a step, respectively. Next time, a trip to feed the workers at the Busch brewery, and a team challenge. MasterChef still has too many people for me to keep track of, so right now, my money is on Chelsea. She has purple and blue hair that I’m loving. Since it’s so early in the game, and I can’t taste the food, I’m just going for the look.

🍵 Gordon Ramsay has yet one more show that premiered tonight. In 24-Hours to Hell and Back, he’s on the road, going to restaurants on the brink of collapse, trying to save them in 24-hours. Using hidden cameras and a hidden Gordon, he checks out what they’re doing wrong, and then steps in. In the first episode, he visited a family-owned Italian restaurant in upstate New York. It was definitely hell. He gave them new décor, a new, smaller menu, and a billboard on a busy highway. Everything improved, but it looked like they could still use some attitude adjustment. No one wants to hear your bickering. This is kind of like that Michael Landon show, Highway to Heaven, but Gordon is the angel. Next time, a restaurant in the French Quarter, where Gordon finds a mouse in the toaster.

💤 And to All a Good Night… or Morning



August 30, 2017 – Nina Gets a Surprise, the NYC Reunion Wraps Up & a Little Bit of Chef


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Maxie slaps Nathan. She asks Amy if what she wanted all along was for Maxie to share her husband, and says she can share this with him, and slaps her too.

Felicia tells Bobbie that Nelle’s real name is Janelle, which is why she couldn’t find anything on her. Felicia really needs a new line of work. She stinks at being a detective. She shows Bobbie a newspaper article about Nelle being a suspect in her fiancé’s death.

Dillon wants to know what Nina wants in the photos, but Nelle says she’s at tea with some official who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

The official is Valentin, who thinks champagne is more appropriate.

Carly meets Josslyn at the MetroCourt, and asks Josslyn if Oscar put the smile on her face. Josslyn says they were just texting about school, and Carly tells her to relax; she said Josslyn could see him. Josslyn asks if she’s in trouble, but Carly wants to talk to her about Sonny.

Petro moves to shoot Sam, but Jason intervenes and gets himself shot instead. Max tosses Sonny’s gun to him, and Sonny shoots Petro. Sam tells Jason she loves him, and to stay with her. Well, you shouldn’t have followed him and burst in unannounced then.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s supposed to meet with the Minister of Culture. Valentin says it’s him. He says she stood him up last night, and now’s the time to keep her promise. She says she’s working. She has an answer for him, but the photo shoot is crucial. Valentin doesn’t give a damn, all he can think about is having her in his arms again.

Nelle tells Dillon about some of the things Nina wants in the photos. She mentions Michael, and Dillon grumbles about flying solo. She says Michael had to work too. Dillon thinks it’s convenient that Michael had a business trip in Morocco at the same time. Nelle says she’s not complaining.

Felicia explains to Bobbie that Nelle’s fiancé, Zach, died before the wedding. They went sea kayaking, and a storm came up. They were in separate kayaks, and his capsized. He wasn’t wearing a life vest and drowned. Nelle claimed she tried, but couldn’t get to him in time. Bobbie says it could have been an accident, but Felicia says the police and his family don’t think so.

Nathan shoves Maxie into the room. Amy says she’s so caught up in her own drama, she doesn’t see what’s in front of her. They were having a business meeting. Maxie wonders what business they could have. Amy tells Nathan to let her throw her tantrum, since it’s all she cares about. Maxie asks if Man Landers told Nathan to love the one he’s with. She sees the cutout, and asks what freaky stuff they’re into, but then says she doesn’t want to know. Nathan says they’re not having an affair, but he did lie to her

Josslyn wonders if Carly said she could see Oscar because she wants to get back together with Sonny.  Carly says no; she just realized that she can’t keep Josslyn in a cocoon. Josslyn says she’s working on her honesty, and Carly says if she wants Josslyn to be honest, she has to be too. She wants them to move back in with Sonny and Avery.

Max calls for help, while Sonny gets out the first aid kit. He tells Sam to keep Jason awake, and he’ll try to stop the blood.

Valentin toasts to being Nina’s husband again, and never betraying her. She says one toast does not a reconciliation make, no matter how beautiful the setting. He says he’s just showing off, but if she takes him back, he’ll prove he knows what real love is, and how much she means to him.

The jewelry for the shoot is all tangled. Dillon says he has the lighting right, and wonders how long it will take to fix it. Nelle says she’ll get the jewelry straight, and has the assistant get the models. She opens a case that has a gorgeous blue necklace in it – huge blue sapphires, each surrounded by diamonds – and says, wow.

Amy tells Maxie that she didn’t want the secret to ruin Nathan’s marriage. Maxie says it’s her marriage too, and Amy says she’ll butt out. Nathan explains about Chet. Maxie is surprised he’s a veteran, since she thought he’d be with the NFL. Amy tells her how he hurt his knee, and ended up in Afghanistan, where he sustained wounds, and now needs constant medical attention. Maxie says she didn’t know, and Amy says that Chet didn’t want anyone to know. She tells Maxie about how she needed money to keep his medical care going after her mother died. She talks about the Man Landers blog taking off, and how she got Nathan involved. Maxie is like, it’s you???

Carly tells Josslyn that while Sonny had Jax deported, he also got the deportation lifted, and hopes Josslyn can forgive him. She says Avery misses them too, and just wants her family back together. Because Avery is that articulate, even though she’s a toddler. Carly says that’s what she and Sonny want too.

Jason is losing blood. Sonny tells Sam keep talking to him. She tells him the kids need their father, and please open his eyes. He does. We hear the sirens in the distance.

Nathan says that Amy really gives the advice. Amy explains about how she read another blog, and people liked her comments. She started her own blog, and soon people wanted to know who Man Landers was. Nathan says it was supposed to be a one-time thing, but then there was a book deal and podcast. Amy tells Maxie that Nathan has been a champ for her and her brother. He’s not just devoted, but the most honest guy around, and he loves Maxie so much. Nathan asks if it’s going to come between them.

Nina asks Valentin how she can trust him. He says he’ll prove it day by day, over the rest of her life, if she’ll have him. She says she’s made up her mind, and kisses him. I hope that’s a yes. She tells him that she loves him, and wants to be with him. They kiss some more.

Nelle puts the necklace on. Dillon comes in and says, busted, and asks how it feels to have a small fortune of sapphires around her neck. She says she’s taking it off, but he suggests they do test shots. She agrees, but only because she’s willing to go above and beyond to help.

Bobbie asks Felicia why they think Nelle was involved. She says the kayak was missing, and Bobbie wonders if that’s not on the rental company, but Felicia says he owned it, and it was the best. He was the son of wealthy parents, like Michael, and he made Nelle the beneficiary of his will. It was millions.

Josslyn tells Carly that she’s still mad, but doesn’t hate Sonny. She felt terrible, thinking about how good he’s been to her. Carly says he loves her. Josslyn gets he was grieving for Morgan and lashing out; she’s been doing that too, and wants to stop. It’s time for some happiness. Carly agrees, and wants to be a family again.

The paramedics arrive. Sam tells Jason to breathe. The EMTs begin to work on him.

Josslyn wonders how Bobbie will take the news. Carly says she’ll find out soon, since Bobbie asked to meet her. Josslyn says she has to go to the library and work on her syllabus. Carly is like, hmm… and Josslyn says Oscar is on vacation; she can show her pictures. Carly says she’s into believing everyone mode, even Nelle.

The paramedic says that they have to stabilize Jason first. No one cares about Petro, who just lies there. They don’t even check for a pulse. Dante arrives, and Sonny says that Petro tried to kill him, but he shot him dead with a single shot. Dante asks Max what happened, and Sonny says don’t talk without a lawyer, but changes his mind when Dante says it’s off the record. Max explains how Petro got him outside, and said he’d kill him if he didn’t cooperate. Jason is conscious, and Sam tells him to stay with her.

Maxie says she understands. It was sneaky and underhanded, but for good cause. She forgives him, but says he has a lot of explaining to do. Amy is like, I’m outta here. She says if she’s not pressing her luck, maybe Maxie will rethink her plan to unmask Man Landers. Maxie says she will, and Amy says maybe she’s not so snarky after all. Maxie asks if she gave the advice to spice up the marriage to Mac and Felicia, and Amy says that was Nathan; he went rogue during the podcast. She adds that he didn’t suggest getting busy in the bushes though. Maxie asks if it was Nathan who suggested giving up everything for love. Nathan says that was Amy, and Maxie says it was excellent advice. Amy leaves, and Maxie tells Nathan she understands their secrecy, but wonders why he didn’t tell her.

Felicia tells Bobbie that Nelle planned the trip after Zach had signed everything over to her. Bobbie says she’s a manipulator, but that doesn’t make her a killer. Felicia says that Nelle swore she tried to save him, but could barely stay afloat herself, and had left her phone on shore. He disappeared under the waves. His family wanted her brought up on murder charges, but there wasn’t enough evidence. They tied the will up in probate, so she got nothing, and want to see her in prison for life.

Dillon looks at the pictures, and tells Nelle they don’t need models; they should put her on the cover. She tells him to delete them, but he thinks she shows a lot of facets of herself in the pictures. In some she looks like an ice queen, and in others, she looks like she’s a kid playing dress-up. She says that’s what it feels like. She can’t believe it, and wonders whose life she’s living. He wishes he could share her enthusiasm for travel. When he was younger, he was shuttled from country to country, and his mom compensated for her time with material things. Nelle says it’s a matter of perspective. She moved a lot because her father was always in debt. She thinks that’s why she resented Carly at first. To her, Carly had everything, while she had nothing. Dillon says everything comes with a price. Sounds Stephen King-ish.

Valentin tells Nina it was worth the eight-hour flight and the waiting. Nina says she wanted to make sure her eyes were open. She wants to be with him; she misses everything about it. Valentin doesn’t know what would have done if she said no. He’d never love another woman, because no one compares to her. He takes out her ring set, saying that he broke into her office. He puts them back on her finger, and asks her to make him the happiest man in world and not divorce him. She says yes. They both look like they’ve been to the Bahamas; they’re as tan as Sonny. Valentin says he’ll love her always. He picks her up and carries her to the bed, and you guessed it, a song part. Um… Nina, did you forget you’re at work? Yes she did. They get busy.

Dillon tells Nelle that money can’t buy happiness. Ask any Quartermaine. The assistant needs Dillon for something, and Nelle looks at the necklace.

Bobbie hates being the messenger. Carly comes in, and Felicia leaves. Bobbie tells her that Felicia found something, but Carly says she’s done meddling, and everyone is happy. She has something to tell Bobbie about Sonny, but Bobbie says it will have to wait. She’s afraid for Michael. It’s not about meddling; it’s life or death.

Max continues to talk to Dante, and Sonny tells him about how Jason got shot, and that he shot Petro in self-defense. Sam tells Jason that he came back to her once before, so come back again.

Maxie asks why the secrets? Nathan apologizes, saying that the timing never seemed right. He should have just moved to Portland. He’s proud of her devotion to her career and her daughter. Amy is going to have to tell the truth eventually, so he’s moving. Maxie says he could do that, but she won’t be there. She quit her job, and got a one way ticket back. He asks about Georgie, and Maxie says she’ll still see her, and she can find another job, but never another love of her life. They kiss.

Felicia sees Amy, and says she seems calm. She tells Amy that she told Maxie about her and Nathan. Amy says it’s not what she thinks. She isn’t at liberty to say what’s going on, but Maxie accepts it. Felicia is like, what?!

Nina doesn’t want to leave. Her phone rings, and she ignores it, but it rings again. There’s a problem at the photo shoot. The sapphire necklace missing. Oh, come on, Nelle is going to be responsible for the Chicago fire soon.

Dillon looks at the shots. Nelle says she told him to delete them, but he says he’s an artist and never deletes his work. Nelle goes on about what more could she ask for, and how happy she is. She still thinks he should delete the photos though.

Carly asks Bobbie if she’s not exaggerating. Bobbie says she has proof that Nelle is dangerous. Carly says okay, let’s hear it. Bobbie tells her to brace herself.

The EMTs take Jason out to the ambulance, and Sam goes with them. Sonny looks at the blood on the floor.

Tomorrow, Nelle tells Michael that they have to go now, Carly says she’s not losing another son, and Sam tells Monica about Jason.

The Real Housewives of NYC

We start with some talk about body parts, what we do with them, and grooming them. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ Andy asks if the booze made Tinsley open up (omg – and he didn’t even say that on purpose) about a certain sexual act. She explains that she thought it was a cute story. Um… cute is not the adjective I’d ascribe to that.  I’m no prude by any stretch of the imagination – I lived in NYC in the 70s and 80s for God’s sake – but there are some things I don’t want to know, and this is most of them. Ramona explains that she grew up Catholic, and didn’t think oral sex was sex. Moving on, but not fast enough.

Andy brings up how Ramona asked Bethenny if her daughter is aware of her nakey past. Which isn’t really very nakey. We flash back to that, and also the argument they had in Vermont. Then the non-invite/invite to Mexico, and wrap it up with the pool apology. Maybe Ramona just shouldn’t drink. A viewer asks why Ramona chose to bring it up after a million years. Ramona says she’d been sent an article mentioning it. We also go back to the first reunion where Ramona walked off when Alex mentioned she’d done art photos. Ramona says she’s not as uptight now. Yeah, we’ve noticed. She says she probably needs delivery lessons, and I second that. She didn’t know how to make it right, and she made it worse. Another viewer asks why Bethenny made a big deal about it. I can answer that. Because Ramona is a huge a-hole and Bethenny had enough. Bethenny says the article was already out there, and she’d even written about it, but Ramona approaching her under the guise of being worried about Brynn finding out, was the wrong thing. Ramona insists it was out of concern, but Bethenny says not one person believes that, nor did any other mother ever voice their “concern.” She’d even said in an interview that she wanted to hurt Bethenny. Ramona says Bethenny makes her nervous. Bethenny says when she was going through a bad personal time, she never came at Ramona, even though Ramona attacked her right and left. Ramona says who can embarrass her anyway? because she’s an insensitive dolt. Ramona says she’s been there for Bethenny, and she owns what she does. Bethenny asks what she’s ever done to Ramona, but Ramona doesn’t answer because there is no answer.

Another viewer wonders why, since Bethenny called LuAnn every name in the book, she wasn’t more forgiving. LuAnn jumps in and says it was about the kids. It gets put out there that maybe Ramona is jealous about Bethenny’s success the way Jill Zarin is. After listing about a thousand ways that Ramona has been obnoxious, if not downright nasty to her, Bethenny says that Ramona can’t be happy for other people, and it shows. Ramona says that Bethenny is projecting, but apparently she doesn’t know what the word means. Bethenny points out that everyone is shaking their heads. LuAnn says the idea is to learn from mistakes and not make them again. Andy asks if the rest of them would be forgiving. LuAnn says it takes a while for the burn to go away. Dorinda tells them that when she watched how angry Ramona was versus Bethenny being quiet, she doesn’t think Ramona realizes how intense she was being. Andy asks if she’d taken anything like Xanax, but Ramona insists she was just drinking. Andy asks why Bethenny ended up inviting her to Mexico. Bethenny says she didn’t want to exclude her. She doesn’t want to be close, but she doesn’t “not not like” her.

We discuss Sonja Morgan’s Home for Wayward It Girls. I note that LuAnn’s necklace looks like the one that’s missing on General Hospital. When was the last time she was in Morocco? We see clips of Tinsley’s new life – fun with Sonja, fun without Sonja, arguments with Sonja, the Page Six debacle, and her eventual move. We also flash back to the thank you party, and that amazing cake. Andy asks about the best and worst of living with Sonja. Tinsley says it was the worst time of her life, and she’ll forever be grateful, but the downside was the criticism. Sonja admits that she should have laid off in front of the other girls, but says then Tinsley aired the dirty laundry. Andy asks LuAnn for her opinion, since she’d also lived with Sonja. LuAnn thinks Sonja was like an overbearing mama and hard on Tinsley. Sonja agrees she was, but thought Tinsley needed guidance. She says that Tinsley falls in love quickly, and she wanted the best for her. She’d said she wanted to get married and have children, so Sonja tried to help. Tinsley says she’s not an intern, but a friend, and had every intention of giving her something when she left. Sonja gripes about not getting a birthday card, reminding me about the card sitting here for someone whose birthday was three days ago.

Andy asks if Sonja went to Page Six about Tinsley being ungrateful, but she insists she didn’t. He asks if Tinsley confirmed it. She says she wouldn’t know how to do that, but Sonja had just been complaining about the exact same thing, and she felt betrayed. Sonja says she didn’t come to her first. Carole says they were the exact words Sonja said. Andy asks if it was a thank you or f-you party, but Tinsley says she planned it before all that happened. Bethenny thinks they should call it a thuck you party. Ha-ha! Sonja says she thought the glitz was just for show, but when Tinsley gave her speech, she knew it was sincere. That five grand gift certificate for Bergdorf’s probably didn’t hurt either. Tinsley is sorry they fought, and admits she wasn’t the perfect house guest, but they’re good now.

We move on to the Mexico trip, and get to relive it through clips. First, the great room hunt by Ramona and Sonja. What a couple of ungrateful idiots. We revisit LuAnn’s fall into the bushes – HAHAHAHAHA! – her subsequent fall (which wasn’t quite as funny), tequila day, Dorinda stabbing herself, and end with the rose and thorn dinner. It’s fun to watch their reactions. It’s so good, we see the clips of LuAnn falling again. Andy says in ten years, he’s never seen her drunk like that. LuAnn says she never gets out of control, but it was a long drinking day and she hadn’t eaten. Andy says Bethenny brought them to the epicenter of alcohol.

Andy asks why Ramona thought she should get the best room, considering how she stood with Bethenny? Ramona doesn’t know what she was thinking. I’m not so sure Ramona does think, and Dorinda reads my mind, saying she wasn’t. Andy brings up Sonja making out with the ladies, and taking it to a new level. Sonja says now that LuAnn is married, she had to find new victims. Carole thinks Sonja might have given her a hickey. Andy asks how Dorinda cut herself, and Bethenny calls her a gangster. Dorinda says she didn’t feel a thing. She saw the blood in the morning, and thought she had her period. Andy asks Bethenny whey she didn’t want to be psychoanalyzed by Dorinda. Bethenny says that Dorinda saying she was controlling was like saying H2O is water.

Bethenny tells Andy that everyone was great on the trip, but she feels self-conscious about her success. She wanted the trip to be perfect, because the main event centered around her business. She says this season was the funniest of all of them. They talk about the pool apology again, and how funny it was that Bethenny and Ramona had barely spoken in weeks, and then ended up hugging nakey, separated by a pool noodle.

Andy asks what everyone’s rose and thorn for the season was. LuAnn’s rose was getting married, and her thorn was hearing all the stuff about Tom, although she appreciates everyone having her back. I cringe again, thinking she would soon be divorcing. Dorinda says that daughter Hannah starting her new life was her rose, and her thorn was arguing with Bethenny. For Tinsley, moving back to NYC and meeting Scott were roses, but fighting with Sonja was pretty thorny. Sonja’s rose was making up with Dorinda (who said there’s always next season), but for her thorn, felt she gave Tinsley too much tough love, and should have backed off. No surprise that Carole’s thorn was the election results, but she had a rose in going to Washington DC for the Women’s March. Ramona has both a rose and thorn in Bethenny, with acting out toward her, then making up with her. Bethenny says her rose was a sense of personal freedom after the Vermont trip, and she didn’t have a thorn. Andy wonders what about her struggle with Ramona, and she says it might have been both, but she had other stuff going on.

We end with a shot of tequila. Toast to strong drink and strong women.

👰 🚫 Next Wednesday, Andy will be interviewing LuAnn one-on-one at 11 pm.

🍴 On MasterChef, the first half was a Mexican-themed tag team challenge, and a mystery box revealing Nutella, with which they made a breakfast. My stomach doesn’t like the idea of Nutella for breakfast, unless it’s spread on toast. Jason won, and got to pick the teams for the tag team. Cate and Dino were the winners there, and Caitlin got sent home. The contestants then went to Big Bear Lake where rainbow trout was featured, and the guests being served were Gordon, Christina, and Aaron. Dino headed up the blue team, and Cate was the red team captain. Note to self: Never put cornmeal on rainbow trout. If nothing else, you will piss off Gordon. The teams picked the one dish they wanted each judge to taste. Christina got some fish bones from the red team, but they still won the challenge. Jeff acted like a huge baby because the red team got to have fun on the water while the blue team awaited their fate. Back at the MasterChef kitchen, the pressure test was to make truffles. The candy kind. Yachecia’s were a mess, prompting Gordon to ask if she’d bitten into one. She was also missing some, although Gordon praised the two that actually looked like truffles. I was pretty sure she was going home, but Daniel had a chunk of chocolate in one of his. Apparently, this is a cardinal sin in truffle-making, and he got the old heave-ho.




Also Truffles

August 16, 2017 – Jared is Foiled Again, Round One of NYC’s Reunion & a Little Bit of Chefs in My Life


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Griff calls Ava a miracle worker. He says the bee sting feels better already. Ava lingers over putting it on him, and I have to laugh.

Kristina approaches Parker at the concert, and asks if she’d like company. Parker says sure, and Kristina sits with her.

Jared meets Obrecht, who thought their business was concluded. He wants to chat about the plan she concocted. He says his money never showed up. Hayden screwed him over – again. Good. Go away.

Curtis finds Finn at Hayden’s office. He wants to stop Finn from chasing her, and says he has to give her time. Finn asks why, and Curtis says she could be anywhere. She’s gone until she decides to come back. He says be glad Monica didn’t press charges, and Finn says maybe she should have.

Elizabeth calls Hayden’s mother looking for her, saying that she and Finn had a lover’s spat. Like Hayden would be going to her mother. Elizabeth literally runs into Franco outside of Kelly’s. They kiss.

Ava apologizes for embarrassing Griff, and he says no need for apologies. She says that’s the first time anyone has ever said that to her. He tells her the remedy worked like a charm. She hopes it will give her less time in purgatory, and asks him what it’s like being perfect. He says he doesn’t consider himself perfect. She says pride is a sin, but false modesty should be too. (It kind of is, according to Paul in Romans.) She calls him beautiful, and asks how he’s not led into temptation. He asks her who says he’s not tempted?

Kristina tells Parker that she loves her mother, but she’s an adult. She wants to know the real reason Parker is there. Tenure isn’t good enough? Parker tells Kristina that if it works out, she might get a senior position. She says she didn’t think Kristina would be there, but would be out seeing the world and forging her own path. Kristina says she’s doing that in Port Charles, and going to business school. Parker says she always knew Kristina would be successful, but needed to find her passion.

Obrecht tells Jared that even if Hayden put the money back, it’s still a felony. Jared says something went wrong; she got cold feet, or got caught, or kept it for herself. She owes him for all the years he spent in prison, and he’s going to collect.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he’s under cover. He’s on a secret mission for brownies, but don’t tell anyone, because it’s a surprise for her. He asks her to tell him how much she missed him. She says she’s incapable of banter because she’s so happy, and they kiss some more. She asks him about New York. He says he’ll have to sell paintings for the settlement, but the rest were returned. I have no clue what he’s talking about, and feel very much out of the loop here. Obviously, I didn’t pay attention to something. Elizabeth says that everyone can move on now, but Franco says they’ll talk about it later. She says she has to get to work, but he doesn’t want to let her go. He says she’s dangerous to the patients because she’s a contagion. He can tell something is up, and asks her what’s wrong.

Curtis asks Finn if he wants Hayden convicted, and Finn says he wants her found. He appreciates what Curtis is trying to do, but he doesn’t need a sponsor. He’s not coming unglued. Curtis is like, okay, and says maybe he’s not as together as he thinks. Finn goes over the last time he saw Hayden, and when he heard her using her old name on the phone. Curtis says it’s rough when you find out what people are capable of – it shakes your foundation. Finn says instead of coming to him, she thought stealing was a better solution. She got defensive and walked out, and he had no idea that was the last time he’d see her. Curtis says he’s not going to want to hear this, but needs to admit to something he’s afraid of –he’s still in love with her. Well, of course, it’s not like it’s been years. More like a few hours.

Griff tells Ava that he’s hardly a saint. Ava says they don’t start that way, and asks if one of them didn’t say, give me chastity, but not yet. He tells her that Saint Augustine sort of said that. He tells her that he has given into temptation, and she mentions Claudette. He says he nearly walked away from the priesthood to raise a family. For a long while, he’d hoped something wonderful would come from his fall from grace. He could have been Charlotte’s father. Ava thanks him for letting her see this side of him.

Kristina asks if Parker’s wife came along, but she didn’t want to leave her patients. She asks if Parker’s wife (who apparently doesn’t have a name) will be joining her later. Parker wants to keep things less personal because, boundaries. She asks about business school, and where Kristina wants to go with it. Kristina says that Parker left her a note and she had to track her down. Parker says sorry. Kristina feels entitled to know how it worked out. Parker says they gave it their all, but her marriage is over.

Elizabeth tells Franco about Hayden being MIA before her wedding. He’s shocked that after all she and Finn went through, she pulled a vanishing act. He suggests consoling Elizabeth, but she says she has to get back to work. He complains that she’s picking sick strangers over him, and she says she’ll make it worthwhile later. Obrecht walks in, and says it warms the heart to see him. Elizabeth says it’s not like she has one. Oh, snap!

Finn tells Curtis that he just wants to make sure Hayden is okay. Curtis asks if he can get past the mistake she made. Finn says he’s as much to blame as she is. When he was detoxing, he told her that she couldn’t be trusted. He wanted her to hurt inside the way he did, and it left a scar. Why would she have faith in him? Curtis says Hayden knew it was the detox talking, and stayed by him. Finn insists that in her mind, he couldn’t return the loyalty. Curtis says that the only thing worse than blaming her, is blaming himself. Idiot Jared walks in, and Finn slams him up against the wall, asking where Hayden is.

Griff tells Ava that there’s no sin in wanting to love and be loved, and feeling the touch of another human. She says it’s getting a little esoteric. She’s getting tired, and still trying to get her stamina back. He reserves the right to lecture her again, or at least go on another outing where there aren’t any bees. He thanks her for coming out with him, and she thanks him, saying that she enjoyed it. He leaves, and she bangs her head against the door. She pours a martini and downs it.

Kristina says that Parker told her she was recommitting to the marriage. Parker says that was the plan. She didn’t mean to take advantage, and Kristina says she didn’t. Kristina tells her that she was never more clear about anything in her life.

Franco suggests Elizabeth and Obrecht remain in neutral corners. Elizabeth leaves for the hospital. Obrecht says she never thought of Franco as the sentimental type, and he says he never thought she’d play three-card monte with urine samples. She asks if she can buy him a donut, so they can discuss what else Elizabeth said about her. Franco wonders why she thinks they’d be talking about her, and she says there isn’t a more scintillating subject. He tells her that Elizabeth is worried about her sister. Obrecht says she’d be worried too, if someone she cared about was hauled off to jail. Franco asks what makes her think that Hayden is in jail?

Jared says he’ll have Finn arrested for assault, and Finn says he’ll have Jared up on blackmail charges. Jared says Hayden owes him; it’s not his fault she lied about her past. Finn says he threatened to expose her, and Jared says he did him a favor, and calls Hayden a bitch. Finn goes after him again, but Curtis stops him, saying he needs his hands for doctoring. Curtis lays Jared out with a punch.

Parker tells Kristina that she and her wife became perfect strangers. Through it all she discovered something about herself, especially when she was with Kristina. Through all the crossed lines and mistakes that she made, she still felt brave for following her heart. Kristina suggests she’s like Anna Karenina, but without the kid or train. Parker says she doesn’t intend to get in Kristina’s way. She hurt her once, and doesn’t want to see her unhappy again. She starts to go, but Kristina stops her.

Obrecht is surprised that Hayden hasn’t been arrested. Franco says that they don’t arrest you for being a runaway bride. She says Finn must be heartbroken. She asks again if Hayden isn’t in jail, and Franco wonders why she keeps asking. She says he just came home from an excursion to a filthy city with a dying Broadway empire (my note: that’s because it’s so freaking expensive); he doesn’t need the stress. Franco questions whether she knows anything about what’s going on, and she says whatever happens to them, they more than deserve it.

Curtis sits Jared down. He tells Jared that Hayden is his friend. He blackmailed her, and caused her to leave town. Now he needs to make it right, and tell him where to find her. Jared says he doesn’t know. Finn tells Curtis how proud Jared is of his tennis skills, and Curtis says it would be a shame if his arm was messed up. Jared tells them that she promised to pay him for taking the fall, and he gave her a divorce. Where is his settlement? He says that she ran out on both of them, but she’s Raymond Berlin’s daughter, and learned to lie and cheat at her daddy’s knee.

Parker says Kristina has grown up a lot, and Kristina says losing a brother will do that. Parker heard about Morgan on the news, and says how sorry she is. Kristina tells her that losing people you love teaches you something about yourself. Parker asks what she’s learned, and Kristina says not to waste time, and not to get caught up in what doesn’t matter, but focus on the things that do. She tells Parker that she’s glad to see her, and Parker says her too.

Ava keeps drinking. She looks in the mirror, and sees herself whole. Griff is there, and tells her that miracles do happen. She asks what she did to deserve this, and he says that grace is not being loved for what you’ve done, but for who you are. He touches her face, and she says that she’s not a freak anymore. He tells her that she’s beautiful, and always was. He kisses her. Her glass drops out of her hand. She’s back in her chair, and gets up to check the mirror. Nope. Still the same.

Ava’s phone rings. It’s Valentin. She says she still has his card. She tells him that she remembers what he said. There’s just one problem – she doesn’t believe in miracles. She hangs up and rips up the card.

Franco brings brownies to Elizabeth at the hospital. He thinks she should blow off the rest of her shift. She takes one, and tells him to take them home to the boys, and she’ll be there as soon as she can. He tells her that maybe she should check the jail for Hayden.

Realizing he’s of no use, Curtis pushes Jared out the door.  He tells Finn that Jared doesn’t know where Hayden is. Finn asks if he’s just supposed to let her disappear with their baby.

Parker wants to start preparing for her classes, and Kristina needs to hit the books. She thanks Parker for sharing, and Parker thanks her for the company, telling her that she can sit in on her class any time.

Ava smells the lavender bottle. She takes it along with her bag into the other room.

Finn says that Rachel vanished and resurfaced as Hayden, but Jared still tracked her down. Curtis suggests she might have learned from her mistakes. Finn says it would take someone pretty savvy to track her down; someone who knows how her mind works.   Could that someone be Curtis?

Franco tells Elizabeth that Obrecht seemed surprised that Hayden hadn’t been arrested, and thinks there’s more to the story. Elizabeth says a lot more. Franco asks why Obrecht would be convinced that Hayden was in jail. Elizabeth says there’s only one reason she can think of – she was in on it. Obrecht approaches them.

Tomorrow, Mac toasts to a new member of the family, Maxie recruits Spinelli, and Nathan and Amy discuss the future of Man Landers.

The Real Housewives of New York City – Reunion Part One

Ohh, nice set. It’s the oldest synagogue in NYC. Ooh, the dresses! My favorite is Tinsley’s, which is a cross between a fairy princess and an 80s prom. Andy is astounded about Carole training for the marathon, since she’s known to be averse to exercise. She said she realized she had to get more fit, but needed a goal. She says it’s strange because she loves it. We find out that Tinsley and Scott are still seeing each other. Sonja has found a three-bedroom that she loves, but hasn’t put her townhouse on the market yet. Andy grills Ramona on her love life. She’s dating someone, but not the guy she met on Love Connection. BTW, this was filmed before Luann’s divorce announcement. I honestly think she waited because she didn’t want it brought up at the reunion. I don’t blame her.

Ramona is up first, and we flash back to how selfish she is. And her birthday party. Andy asks how it was watching the show, and she says that she had a bad year. She didn’t see it the way the ladies did at the time, but when she watched it, she wondered who she was. As she talks, she plays with her hair like she’s fourteen. We all agree that she gives 60 a whole new look, and she talks about the work she has done, saying that she never puts her face in the sun. I’ve been a huge advocate of sunscreen since I was in my twenties, and it makes a major difference. I live in a beach town, and there are people in their thirties who look older than I do.

A viewer wants to know why Ramona made light of trashing Dorinda’s home. She apologizes, but thinks Dorinda looks at it differently. Dorinda says she doesn’t; that’s how it was. Ramona vandalized her house. Ramona admits to being drunk, saying she knew she pulled the lights down (it was apparently something used in production), but didn’t notice that she’d messed up the wall. Dorinda says that Ramona tries to get around what she does wrong, and should just say sorry and ask how she can make it better. Ramona says it’s hard for her, and Carole says that she doesn’t see herself as a bad houseguest. Bethenny tells a story about how Ramona didn’t even acknowledge her staff in the elevator when she’s known them for years. She says that even when she and Luann were in a war, Luann was always pleasant to them. Ramona insists she goes into a zone, and didn’t notice them. Bethenny suggests she go live in a commune in a padded room. Ramona asks why they didn’t say hello to her, and Bethenny says maybe they were intimidated. She calls Ramona a horror show, and Ramona says she is what she is. Bethenny tells her to enjoy that. The way Ramona treated the staff in Mexico is discussed. They also talk about Jill Zaren’s assessment, and Ramona says that Jill doesn’t know her. A viewer asks if Bethenny is interested in reopening a friendship with Jill, and she wonders how many years have to go by before Andy stops asking. Another viewer suggests that Ramona is in the second stage of grief – anger. Ramona says disappointed is more like it. She thought she could control the outcome with her marriage, and it didn’t happen. Bethenny thinks scared people lash out.

Ramona’s party is covered. Andy asks if her wishes came true, and she says that she’s in better place. She’s more settled, and Avery graduated from college with high marks. Bethenny asks if marriage is in the cards, and Ramona says she’d like a partner in life. When asked if it’s the guy she’s dating now, she just smiles, and eventually says she’s in heavy like. Bethenny points out that she’s the only one not in a relationship.

Sonja learned the hard way that when Dorinda comes for you, she doesn’t make it nice. We see clips of Sonja badmouthing Dorinda, and Dorinda saying she has a mole giving her information. We see Dorinda confronting Sonja at dinner. Then at another dinner Clip! Andy thanks her for that, and Dorinda says someone said it to her at Citibank the other day. She explains that she couldn’t stop the verbal waterboarding, and it just came out. They start to talk about Sonja’s love life, but Dorinda is annoyed about Sonja calling her a fraud. Dorinda says she never talks to the press, and she didn’t want to start the season with a bunch of baloney. Sonja defends herself, but Dorinda says she read this stuff for months. Sonja says that by the time she saw Dorinda, she was over it, and had moved on (oh, okay), but still insists that she doesn’t talk to the press. Andy asks about Dorinda’s mole friends, but she’s not talking. Sonja’s sobriety is called into question. She insists she didn’t drink for ten months, but Andy thinks her math is off. A viewer asks about her wearing Dorinda’s PJs, and she says she felt terrible when she found out they were a gift from Dorinda’s late husband. Carole says she didn’t even apologize. Dorinda wants to move forward, and Sonja keeps saying sorry. Dorinda says don’t touch other people’s stuff, and when you do, clean it and return it nicely. Andy is loving this like the antichrist he is.

Congrats all around to Luann. She loves being married, having a partner in crime, and loves Tom. Andy asks about giving up her title, and she says she likes the Mrs. title she has now. Andy talks about how no roadblock was stopping them, even an intervention. We see clips from the whole sad story, including Missy saying she walked in on them, and that’s why she’s not seeing Tom anymore. Luann says she’s a hopeless romantic (and I desperately want to say, no, you’re just hopeless), and being with Tom was like finding home. Yeah, the home for wayward husbands. The final clip in the reel is Tom acting like he hardly knows Missy, as he introduces them. Andy asks why the wedding was so big and so white for a second wedding, plus a shower and a bachelorette party. Luann says she didn’t get that the first time around, and it was also Tom’s 50th birthday. She wanted it big and beautiful. Andy asks if Sonja still clinging to the illusion that she was invited. Luann says she did send a save-the-date card to Sonja, and Bethenny says now they have a smoking gun. Luann explains that Sonja had been talking badly about them to the press she doesn’t talk to. We see the clip of Luann’s friend, Barbara, saying that Luann was only going through with it to save face. Carole says it was out of genuine concern, and Ramona seconds that. Luann says she gets it. Andy asks what up with Ramona bugging Luann about the bridal shower. We flash back to the last reunion, where Bethenny thought Ramona knew something. Ramona says Luann is happy now, but Tom kissed the same girl from the Regency again. Bethenny says she’s heard he was annoyed that Luann was thirsty for press. Andy asks what Ramona knew.

Ramona asks if it’s important, and Luann says no, because there was nothing there. Bethenny says she’d heard that he had gone to the woman’s hotel room in Philly, and told her that he and Luann had an open relationship, but nothing happened. Ramona agrees that’s’ what happened – nothing happened. Andy stirs the pot, asking if anyone else has heard anything. Bethenny says whatever the situation is, Luann isn’t an idiot. She thinks the group is being respectful now that they’re married. They all hear things, and Luann said she didn’t want to know. Luann says not true, but roll the tape.

Luann says that Ramona kept calling Tom’s exes, trying to find out dirt about Tom. Bethenny says that her delivery is bad, but the content is true. He seems like the kind of person who goes into a bar with one person, and leaves with another. We flash back to his dog-with-a-collar comment about his wedding ring. Luann makes like it’s just his sense of humor being off. Andy asks if it’s alarming that they’ve all heard things. Bethenny says that they only care about her happiness Andy asks if Luann has an open relationship, and she tells him that she wouldn’t be married if she wanted that. Like she would say yes even if it was. He asks what she’d do if Tom cheated, and she says leave. Mic drop, and silence all around. Even I start to get uncomfortable. Dorinda says she’d kill him. Well, that settles that. Andy brings up Luann’s relationship with Count Alex, and she says they were separated and she didn’t want anyone to know.

We see the final Missy clip, where Tom takes his mic off. Luann says she hadn’t seen it until now, so she has to interrogate talk to him about it. Andy says it comes on the heels of Tom being flirty with Missy. Bethenny thinks maybe he flirts to get attention, but that there’s no ulterior motive for him marrying her. What would it be? Putting his life up for public scrutiny? She tells Luann that she puts her Countess shield up, and that if she had seen her partner saying that stuff, she’d be crying in the bathroom. Luann asks why Bethenny thinks she spent the night at a hotel last night.

Poking Luann with his pitchfork, Andy asks how she feels watching it. She sees it as Tom trying to be funny, and needs to smack him silly talk to him about how he’s making her feel. A viewer asks if other friends or family came to her with concerns, and Luann says the family situation has been tough, especially with her son, Noel. It was hard for him to accept Tom in the beginning, and he’s protective, but stands by her relationship. She says no one would have anything to gain from stepping out with Tom, and these girls he’s making out with meeting for lunch are just his friends. She has to accept him for who he is; she can’t change him. He’s a grown man who’s lived a certain way. She points out that she’s friends with Jacques, but Bethenny says she doesn’t make out with him. Luann says the only reason he sees Missy is that Ramona brings her to parties. Ramona says that’s not true.

Next time, Ramona says Tom is sleeping around. Sonja claims Tinsley’s party for her was just for show, Ramona talks about her divorce, and Tinsley’s drinking is brought up.

🍜 On MasterChef, the contestants split into two teams, with Dino in charge of the red team, and Daniel in charge of the blue team. The challenge was to cook dinner for VIPs at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Ribeye steak was the focus. I had to feed the dogs, and when I left the room, it looked like Dino’s team was tanking. They’d cut up the ribeye in a way that Gordon was not pleased with. But when I came back, they were picking two cooks from Daniel’s team to be on the chopping block. Newton and Yachecia got the pressure test – champagne poached oysters, which Christina called “Las Vegas on a plate.” I don’t know about that, but these things looked phenomenal. A little tower of delicious with a foundation of capellini, and a caviar top. They also had to make the capellini from scratch. Yechecia’s caviar fell off, but Newton struggled with the top of the jar, costing him precious time and leaving out two ingredients. I gotta say, Yachecia’s dish did not look pretty (which would not stop me from enjoying it, I’m sure), but her oysters were declared perfect. And then they did the thing I hate the most, we have to wait until next week to find out who goes home. Thanks. Next time, crawfish skills are put to the test, and a previous winner is a guest.

🍍 Tonight was The f Word finale, and I hope you caught the show. I never did catch up, but still hope to, while it’s still On Demand. It’s one of my favorite shows on BBC America, and I was thrilled that it’s been brought to the states. It’s the lighter side of Gordon, and it being aired live makes it even more fun.

🦀 It was prettier than this, but…


Champagne Poached Oysters


July 26, 2017 – Spencer Tells All, Ramona Worms Her Way In, a Bit of Chef & an Odd Quote



What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Nina asks Spencer to say Valentin had nothing to do with kidnapping him. Spencer insists it was him.

Hayden visits Elizabeth.

Finn gets Griff a thank you lunch. Griff says he was just doing his job, but Finn says it’s at least lunch worthy; he went above and beyond. Griff says that Finn has been reinstated, and wants to go back to being colleagues and friends. Obrecht enters the restaurant, and tells them Guten tag.

Sam keeps telling Jason it’s over and she made sure.

Sonny lies bleeding and unconscious. I can never get over how good Maurice Benard looks, since we basically grew up together. He has some amazing genetics.

Valentin says that Spencer is mistaken or lying, and liars get found out. Dante asks what happened. Spencer says that he, a defenseless child, was at the park and a bag was placed over his head by someone with impressive upper body strength and no manners. Dante tells him to stick to the facts. He says he was put in the trunk of a car and taken to a basement, with no food or water. Will I die here? he asked himself. No, he wouldn’t. He escaped his captor despite breaking his glasses. Dante says based on his account – Spencer interrupts, finishing that Dante will be sending Valentin up the river – he didn’t see who it was. How does he know it was Valentin? Spencer says he can prove it because of his shoes. He was wearing them when he kidnapped him.

Obrecht wonders why Griff isn’t on call. He says that he’s picking up lunch. Obrecht can’t blame him for following the herd like lemmings. She’s sure that Finn will make an excellent contribution to the hospital now that he’s back. He says he wishes she’d felt that way before. She says that all she wanted what was best for GH, but who is she to argue if they want a drug addled doctor? He says he’s gotten treatment, but there’s no cure for what she has. She says now that she made the break, her future prospects have improved. As he’s leaving, Finn says thank God it’s over. Obrecht says, not nearly over.

Jason checks Sam for a fever. She says they’re safe and she did what she had to do. Jason says they’re going to the hospital, and carries her out.

Sonny is like wth? He sits up and drags himself over to the wall. He remembers Sam and the gun going off, and calls out her name, saying to get him out of there.

Spencer says not many people can afford $3000 shoes, much less wear them on the grass. Dante takes Spencer to a private room. Valentin asks Nina if she realizes that Spencer is lying.

Hayden tells Elizabeth that she enjoyed her time with Jake. Most important, she wanted to thank Elizabeth for helping her at The Floating Rib. It was terrifying, embarrassing, and ultimately educational. Elizabeth says every pregnant woman has to learn the hard way. She asks why Hayden is really there. Hayden pulls out a bunch of baby care books, and says she’s doing everything wrong.

Jared meets Obrecht. He says he’s intrigued. She says that she knows Port Charles is out of his parole officer’s jurisdiction. She’s been doing research, and has learned a wealth of information on him and someone else. He asks what she wants, and she says to get what they both truly deserve.

Finn and Griff finish lunch, and I want ribs now. Griff says Obrecht doesn’t look like she’s leaving town. Finn tells him, live and let live. He says he came to Port Charles to treat Tracy, got offered a position, and thought he had everything he needed. He didn’t have to think about anyone, except for his late wife. Then he met Hayden, and there was no going back. Griff calls her a force of nature. Finn says she’s been there for him in ways he thought no one except his wife could be. He’s finally getting a second chance at happiness.

Jason runs into the hospital with Sam.

Sonny keeps calling for anyone. His leg is bleeding, and he rips his shirt to make a tourniquet. He’s wearing a bullet-proof vest, which explains why Wavy Garvey didn’t kill him.

Valentin says the only thing missing from Spencer’s recitation was organ music. Nina says when they first met, he was after Spencer. He asks why she posted bail. She wants to believe him, but doesn’t know whether to trust him or admit she made a mistake and he’s been playing her the whole time.

Dante’s phone rings. He tells Spencer that he’ll be back. Laura sits down. She says what happened was horrible, and she’s glad he’s okay. She tells him that what Valentin did to his father was unconscionable, but somehow, someday he’ll pay for it. Spencer says, carpe diem, let today be the day, but Laura says only if he’s guilty. If Spencer is accusing him of something he didn’t do, instead of him being Valentin’s victim, Valentin would be his victim. Spencer wonders if he doesn’t deserve to be, but Laura says what they want is justice. If Spencer isn’t totally telling the truth, everything they’ve been fighting for will be in jeopardy. He’ll use it in court and win, and the worst part is that he’d be right. Spencer says nothing would be worse, but what if he did it; it’s possible. Laura says he has to be certain. Spencer says there are degrees of certainly, and she tells him that she is certain if Valentin didn’t do it, then the kidnapper is still out there. What if he kidnaps someone not as smart or resourceful? He wouldn’t want that to happen. Spencer guesses he wouldn’t, and Laura asks again if he’s 100% certain.

Jared says he’s not one for mysteries. He’s giving Obrecht ten minutes; five if she’s boring. She assures him that she’s never been boring. She says before he went to prison, he was married to Rachel Berlin, and there are so many puzzling questions. She brings up the night they had a fight at the country club, and Jared says he’s done. She assures him not. She has a suspicion that he might want to locate her. He says that he can do that on his own, but Obrecht says she’s just a few miles away, living under a different name, and preparing to have child with new love of her life.

Hayden says Elizabeth is the best resource she’s got. Elizabeth asks before all these books, what were her thoughts about having kids? Hayden tells her that she was raised believing material things and wealth were paramount, but doesn’t want to instill those values in her offspring. She says that she was married before, but it was over before the scandal broke. They lived well, and talked about having kids, but not seriously. This is the first time she’s taken the subject seriously, and that’s because she’s pregnant. Elizabeth takes the books away. Hayden asks what she did to be such a good mom.

Sonny fixes the tourniquet on his leg. He knocks over a crate and steps onto it, pulling himself up. We focus on his shoes, and I wonder why.

Jason tells Finn that Sam has been babbling about being safe. Griff puts a rush on some tests. Jason tells Sam he’ll be right back and she’ll be fine. He leaves, and in her head, Sam sees Sonny, who asks if she’s happy now. She killed him.

Nina knows that Valentin’s version of events in the past has sounded truthful, but sometimes wasn’t. He asks if she believes he loves her, and she says yes, in the way he knows how. She tells him that sometimes ruthless strategy and heartfelt declaration are hard to tell apart, and she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to.

Laura asks Spencer about the shoes, and if he really saw them. He says technically, no. Laura says he has to stop. She loves him, but right now he’s being as vengeful and spiteful as Valentin, and she needs for him to be something better, and tell Dante the truth – no more no less. Dante comes in. He asks if Spencer has anything to add.

Elizabeth says Hayden is being kind. Hayden asks when Elizabeth has known her to be kind for the sake of being kind, and Elizabeth says never. Hayden tells her that she’s observed Elizabeth’s mothering skills. Elizabeth insists she’ll have them too, but Hayden says that in her other life, she wasn’t a good person. In the second grade, she extorted a candy bracelet from a classmate. She has a lot to regret.

Jared tells Obrecht good for Rachel. He says they’re divorced, and he has no reason to track her. Obrecht asks what about his prison sentence? At the time, Rachel was wealthy. Jared says she had a talent for making money, and obviously, Obrecht knows what happened. Obrecht says knowing Rachel as she does, he went to prison for her, and she wants to help him.

Sonny falls. He rests for a moment.

Fantasy Sonny tells Sam that it’s not over just because she killed him; it will never be over. Sam sits up and yells. Jason comes in. Sam wants to go home, but Jason tells Griff that she’s not making sense. She keeps talking about being safe.

Spencer tells Dante that maybe he’s being over-dramatic, and not as accurate as he first thought. Dante asks if he’s certain Valentin is the one. Spencer is certain he could have been, but not actually certain he did it. Dante asks about the shoes, and Spencer says now that he thinks about it, he never saw them. He had a bag over his head, and didn’t see anything. Dante asks if there’s anything else, and Spencer tells him that he doesn’t know who did it. He doesn’t remember or know anything. Dante thanks him. Laura tells Spencer, good job. Spencer says he still hates Valentin. Laura doesn’t blame him, and wants him to know they’ll never stop fighting for justice for his father.

Dante tells Valentin that he’s free to go, but don’t leave town. He says that Spencer admitted he wasn’t sure, and ha no idea who took him. Valentin looks at Nina.

Elizabeth says that Hayden has come a long way from being Rachel. She stuck by Finn, and she thinks they’ve made progress as sisters. She tells Hayden that by the time her shower rolls around, she’ll have it down pat. Hayden says she has no friends; who would throw her a shower? Elizabeth tells her that’s what sisters are for and they hug.

Jared finds out from Obrecht that Rachel is now calling herself Hayden, even though everyone knows who she really is. Obrecht tells him that Hayden’s current lover ruined her life. Until recently, she was a highly regarded physician, and he was hellbent on his own destruction. She tried to save hospital from him, but Hayden saved him instead. She wants to pay him back in kind. Jared asks again what she wants. She says the time he spent in prison was to what end? He’s entitled to more, but if he isn’t interested in getting the recompense he deserves, there’s the door. It will take him to the rest of his unfulfilled life.

Sonny sits down. He sees his shattered phone.

Jason says Sam needs rest. She tells him not to worry, and he says he’s not; the doctors will find out what’s going on. Sam says she did it, and he asks what she means; what did she do?

Nina says she doesn’t know Valentin’s heart. He says she knows it better than anyone because it belongs to her. He went without love his entire life until her, and he doesn’t want to give it up. She has reason to doubt him, but he wants to be a better man. Nina says that’s why she posted bail, and jokes about getting her money back. She has to get to work, and leaves the station. Valentin smiles.

Spencer comes out, and tells Valentin not to think he’s going soft. He’ll do what it takes to make him pay. Valentin says actions have consequnces, and assuming someone kidnapped him, they’re getting away. Laura tells Spencer that she’s taking him home, but he insists Windemere is his home, and Valentin stole it. Spencer tells Valentin, My name is Spencer Cassadine; you killed my father; prepare to die, referring to dialogue from The Princess Bride. I die laughing.

Hayden leaves Elizabeth’s place, almost forgetting her bag.

Jared tells Obrecht that maybe Rachel promised him something, but it was a long time ago, before she lost everything. Obrecht asks if he got nothing, and Jared says just divorce papers in his jail cell. She says he was cast aside, and she knows what it’s like to be discarded, and Rachel/Hayden has a flair for that. What she did to him personally was done to Obrecht professionally. It’s up to them to fire back. Jared says, or move on like grown-ups. Obrecht doesn’t think they have the right to do what they did. Jared doesn’t either. Obrecht suggests that if they work together, they can acquire recompense and retribution.

Griff looks at the test results. Finn thinks he has an idea of what they’re dealing with. More brain worms?

Sonny throws the phone. That always helps. He struggles to get up again, and looks up at the wall.

Jason tells Sam to try and sleep. She says she already did it, and he tells her that he loves her, but for now, just rest. She convulses, and the alarm goes off.

Tomorrow, Sonny continues to call for help, Jordan has news about Dante’s father, and Stella asks Curtis when he and Jordan decided to call it quits.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda goes to yoga. The instructor tells her to do the egg salad position. I swear that’s what he said. Luann tells us how wasted she got the night before, like we didn’t notice. Bethenny says she’s tough; she’d be praying to the toilet bowl right now. I’d at least be in bed. At breakfast, everyone wonders how Luann is even functioning. A major floral arrangement comes for Tinsley. The card says it’s for the best and longest first date ever. She wonders how he knew where to send them. Um… he asked Adam? Carole says it’s a match made in heaven. Bethenny suggests surfing, but Tinsley and Luann want to shop.

Ramona apologizes to Bethenny for her idiocy, saying it just snowballed somehow. She doesn’t know why she embarrasses herself all the time. In her interview, she says she just wants it to stop, and will say anything. Bethenny tells her she wants a smooth day at the distillery, and Ramona should just stay and chill. Ramona thinks Bethenny might change her mind. Bethenny says she’s never seen anything like it, and it goes back for ten years. She doesn’t want to hurt Ramona, but thinks it’s not in her best interest to go. She says Ramona doesn’t like her, but Ramona says, I don’t not not like you [sic]. Whatever that means. Ramona randomly mentions an article about Bethenny in the Wall Street Journal.

Ramona and Sonja have breakfast. Sonja says that Tinsley’s childlike behavior is being enabled. She talks about Tinsley’s five-day date, and asks who does that? Jealous much? Ramona says she’ll never win with Bethenny. When she’s healthy, she snaps like a turtle. Bethenny suggests going surfing. Dorinda has never surfed, but is willing to give it a try. Better her than me.

Tinsley thinks Sonja doesn’t understand, and asks why she isn’t more protective with the press. In her interview, Tinsley says she would have immediately squashed anything about a friend of hers. Sonja says that Tinsley has to deal with it herself, and that she should have brought it up in private. Her friends just made it worse by enabling her behavior. Apparently, Sonja’s root word-of-the-day is enable.

Luann gets whacked with a surfboard in the elbow, which I’m sure takes her mind off of her hangover. Dorinda says surfing is like birth. Bethenny is very good, but not so much Carole, who wonders why she’s doing this. Afterward, everyone high fives the instructor. Bethenny says they missed Ramona’s floatation devices (i.e. her boobs).

Sonja screeches at Tinsley that she didn’t do it. Tinsley says it came from her. Sonja insists they didn’t talk to her. Tinsley thinks Sonja is being aggressive and bitchy, and had something to do with it.

Bethenny wants an early dinner so they can be fresh in the morning. Dorinda says Ramona hates to be by herself, and thinks she still might end up coming. In her interview, Dorinda thinks Bethenny is going to relent. The girls go to an outside market. I would go absolutely wild there. Ramona has decided to act like nothing is wrong. Bethenny points out an amazing embroidered kimono-sleeved dress. Her card is blocked since her assistant didn’t do something or other with it, and Ramona springs for the dress, much to Bethenny’s dismay. Tinsley says she’s winning. Bethenny says she ultimately can’t be mean, and Sonja says you can’t get rid of Singer. Ramona buys straw tote bags for everyone, but Luann has to lend her money, which she doesn’t expect to see again. Bethenny wonders how much it will cost for Ramona to get herself an invite. She’s saying no, but all signs are pointing to yes.

Back at the ranch villa, some of the girls get in the hot tub. Bethenny asks Sonja how Ramona’s headspace is. She doesn’t want to have a Hallmark moment in inviting her along, but says if Ramona does anything wrong, she’ll have to kill her. Sonja tells them that Ramona was happy in her marriage. She’s fronting, and it’s making her act out. Ramona jogs on the beach, which they all find weird. Carole thinks there’s a hot guy at the end of the beach, or maybe just a guy.

Sonja tells Ramona about how Bethenny didn’t want to exclude her. Ramona says she understands that Bethenny’s feelings were hurt. She f-ed up with what she said, and it wasn’t her intention to hurt her. Bethenny is wearing the cutest dress ever. It looks like something from the 70s – a mini with longish full sleeves that have open shoulders, and it has drawstrings everywhere. Ramona says she has to accept only bringing up what Bethenny wants to. Sonja says they’re growing. Please. Dorinda thinks she’s sore from yoga until Carole reminds her that she went surfing.

At dinner, Bethenny says it can’t be a blackout night. Tinsley sees the Page Six item got published; she was hoping Sonja would negate the story. Bethenny says it mentions Sonja and Ramona too. Tinsley insists it started from Sonja. Sonja says she’s blowing it out of proportion, but Carole backs Tinsley up, and says that Sonja tells total strangers Tinsley is a bad houseguest. Sonja says it was a friendship issue, but Tinsley says she complained so much, it got in the press. Sonja says you don’t stay for five months if you’re unhappy. In her interview, Carole says that Sonja never met an article with her name in it that she didn’t love. Luann tells Sonja to apologize, and she does the sorry, but thing. Bethenny says it’s like a circle jerk, and Carole has to explain what that means. I won’t be doing that. Google it if you don’t know. Dorinda gives out cute and funny gifts. Is there a Spencer’s in Mexico?

Bethenny says that she’s blessed and fortunate to take them on an alcoholic field trip; she just has to get them there. She explains how to dress. Bethenny tells Ramona she doesn’t know how she feels anymore, and begs her to behave at the distillery. She says it’s her life and livelihood, and she doesn’t want it ruined. If Ramona has nothing nice to say, don’t say it. Ramona insists she wouldn’t do that. Bethenny tells Ramona to try to be someone people tolerate, and they hug it out.

Sonja claims she hasn’t had a drink in ten months. I believe it if you do. Ramona cracks her head getting into the helicopter (good) because she has a bandana over her face to protect her baby skin. She’s happy to be included, and thinks they’re on a path to something better. Bethenny says it’s been a rough couple of years, but now it’s overwhelming. Olas all around. A guy blows a conch shell, and there’s drumming. Dorinda thinks Ramona looks like a bad MTV commercial from the 80s, and this time she does not want her MTV.

Raphael is the tour guide. SkinnyGirl margaritas are given out. People in native costume dance. Carole says she’s never seen anything like it – except in Vegas. They’re shown the agave plants, and how they’re harvested. They take a trolley to the distillery. Everyone thanks Bethenny, who says she’s happy they’re all there. Dorinda can’t bear watching Ramona kiss Bethenny’s ass. At the distillery, the girls put on hard hats, and the process is explained. They get old-fashioned powder horns, which is the original way tequila was drunk. It’s 130 proof; 65% alcohol. Oh. No. Everyone drinks from their horns. Luann tells us it’s smooth but strong. Dorinda compares it to drinking smoke.

There’s a dancing horse outside, and a little boy giving out roses. Dorinda says it’s like Disneyland in Mexico with tequila. A tent has been set up for lunch. Bethenny passes out little drinking buddies, tiny plastic guys in bathing suits that sit on the glasses, and the tequila tasting menu commences. Tinsley wants to take a kid home, and Carole calls her the Angelina Jolie of Mexico.

Dorinda isn’t sure they’re going to make it home, but it’s back to the helicopter. Probably the only way you’d get me in it is after a day of booze. When they get back, Carole says they have to keep drinking. Bethenny says light a match and the house will go up in flames. She dances on the table. Everyone goes out by the pool, and Sonja tries to make out with Luann. Some of the girls take advantage of the infinity pool and rope swing.

Ramona tells Sonja about Mario leaving his ring at home, and how she knew something was changing. Sonja says when they start wearing skinny jeans and tight T-shirts, they’re cheating. She doesn’t believe Ramona is happy, since she was having sex every night when she was married. Bethenny says no one does it every night. Sonja says she was there (!), and Ramona says it was three or four times a week. She misses what they had, but has to go on. Sonja wails about how hard it must be, and Bethenny tells Sonja to knock it off. In her interview, she says you know if she’s defending Ramona, it’s bad. Ramona starts to argue with Sonja.

Next time, a fishing trip where whales show up, more tequila is swilled, there are fireworks, and Dorinda injures her hand.

🍴 On MasterChef, after Daisy the Cow was paraded around, the mystery box was revealed to have cow parts. That’s just wrong. One chef wasn’t sure what to do with the kidneys, and I’m reminded of the depression food my father cooked when I was a child. (His neck bone soup still stands as one of the best things I’ve ever eaten.) Angus steak and asparagus were in the pressure test, and Nico went home. Gordon told him he was talented, but couldn’t grasp his fundamental errors. Truth! He could not grasp the reasons his dish went wrong. Next time, the chefs have to cook for the backbone of culinary world, and use their products. We also learn ricotta and halibut don’t go together.

It’s Back…


🍨 Whatever doesn’t kill us, makes us thinner. – Devon, Odd Mom Out


March 13, 2017 – The Fun Never Ends in Port Charles, the Wedding Weekend Begins, Summer House Ends & Some Housewives Talk


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Sonny visits Morgan’s grave. He has good news. Morgan’s killer is being brought to justice, and his family is holding up. He says they’re not sure they can prove who the killer is, and he and Carly split up. Sounds more like good news/bad news to me. He tells Morgan he did something very stupid, so don’t blame his mother. He managed to hurt her again. As he’s talking, Carly comes with flowers.

Ava’s phone rings. It’s Olivia-J. She asks for Julian. She tells him that she decided she couldn’t take the chance meeting at Ava’s. She’s found a way to protect herself with someone who’s more valuable to him. He asks who’s more valuable than Ava, and Olivia says his precious ex-wife, Alexis.

Dante tells Jordan what Jason and Curtis are doing. She says what if the bomb detonates, and Dante says hopefully, the bomb squad will disarm it.

At this point, Finn is sitting on the floor looking all sweaty. He tells Hayden it doesn’t seem like there’s a fire, and wonders if it’s something worse. Hayden asks what could be worse than a fire? He says that he doesn’t want to find out. She tells him he looks awful, and he says it figures.

Sam yells at the police about wanting to find Jason, and Epiphany tells her to knock it off. She gives the baby to Epiphany, and goes back to arguing with the officer. Franco tells the police to quit hassling Sam, and she tells him there’s a bomb in the building. They hear an announcement saying that Jason and Curtis are inside with the bomb squad.

Jason tells Curtis to leave, but Curtis wants to wait for the experts. The bomb squad shows up, and asks how they’re doing. Curtis tells them that they’ll be doing better once the bomb is disarmed. They have just over three and a half minutes left.

Sonny tells Carly that he thought if he talked to Morgan he could figure things out. Carly says she’ll come back, but Sonny asks her to stay. He says that he should have been talking to her and asking her to forgive him. She says she doesn’t give a damn about Nelle. Her son is dead. Sonny says our son, but she says it doesn’t feel like it. She says the worst part was going through it all by herself, and having the pit in her stomach with nothing to fill it and no one to understand. Sonny tells her that he understands. Carly says when she realized that, the relief was overwhelming, but now it’s like she’s back to the beginning. He says it doesn’t have to be that way, and she says it does. He says that sleeping with Nelle was the biggest mistake, and he doesn’t even know how it happened. Carly says she’s forgiven him for worse, but he let her keep Nelle close. He says he tried to get rid of her. But he didn’t, Carly tells him, and he should have told her the truth. Sonny says he didn’t want to add to her pain, and Carly says he let Nelle take advantage of their family at its lowest point. He says he’s sorry, and she says she is too. She wants to spend time alone with Morgan.

Julian asks Olivia-J what she’s done to Alexis, and Olivia says he’ll find out when he meets her. She tells him come to the footbridge. Ava asks what’s going on, but Julian tells her that the less she knows, the better.

Hayden asks if Finn can wait this out. He tells her he’s going to be in full-blown withdrawal soon, and she should have left while she had the chance, before he starts throwing up.

Franco tells Sam that Jason wouldn’t want her anywhere near a bomb. She says that Franco should be in there, not Jason. Since Elizabeth is still in the hospital too, Sam asks Franco how it feels to be on the other side.

Jordan sees Elizabeth, and asks why she’s still there. Elizabeth tells her that she was helping to get patients out. Dante says that since Jason is Jake’s father, she should know what’s happening. He tells her about Jason being in the elevator with the bomb.

Curtis asks the bomb squad guy what wires need to be cut. The guy explains that the bomb has dual triggers, and both have to be disarmed simultaneously. Curtis refuses to leave, saying he can cut the wires himself. This is actually more practical than noble. The bomb squad guys have so much equipment on, by the time they trade places with Curtis, they’ll all be blown to smithereens. The guy gives Curtis the wire cutters. He tells Curtis that the same color wire will disarm both triggers. Curtis decides to go for the red one.

Carly tells Morgan that it’s typical of her and his dad to bring their issues to him. She says she couldn’t protect him in life, but she can try now. Her phone rings. It’s Ava, surprising the hell out of her. Ava says she’s desperate for a visit with Avery and can’t get Sonny on the phone. Carly says she’s at Morgan’s grave. Ava says she didn’t know. Carly says now you do, and hangs up. Carly tells Morgan she loves him, and leaves.

Alexis comes to on the footbridge, where she’s handcuffed to the railing. Olivia-J says sorry about the chloroform, and some sponsor she tuned out to be. Alexis asks why she’s doing this, and Olivia tells her that she doesn’t expect Alexis to understand. She’s learned there’s no line between love and hate. Olivia says she already has – my husband, who is home today, walks by and says something, and I have no idea what Olivia has now. Thanks, Ron.

Hayden wipes Finn’s forehead with a cool cloth. He says if he has to be stuck with anyone, he’s glad it’s her, but she doesn’t deserve this; she’s healthy and strong. Hayden says she’s where she wants to be. Her place is with him.

Sam tells Franco this is torture. They’re outside while the ones they love are inside. She says Elizabeth won’t die, because Jason is risking his life to save everyone. She says thank God he survived the ancient history of Franco trying to kill him.

Curtis realizes the red wires aren’t the way to go, and asks how Jason feels about blue. Jason likes blue. One…two…three…commercial.

An explosion sound is heard inside the hospital. Sam begs an officer for Jason’s status. He radios, but no one answers. Jason walks out. Sam runs to him. Guess blue worked.

Finn tells Hayden he’s still alive. He wonders if he heard a loud boom. Hayden says he’s not delirious, but nothing is raining down on them, so they must be okay. He asks what she’s going to do when she gets out. She tells him she’s going to help him kick his addiction. He asks why she’s wasting her time with him. She says he never ran, so she isn’t either. He says if something bad happens, she doesn’t have to keep her promise. She tells him that nothing bad will happen. A voice on the loudspeaker says the evacuation is officially over an everyone get back to work

Jason asks about Emily, and Sam says they need to get her and go home. Jason tells Sam that she’s going back to bed in the hospital. She makes him promise to come with her.

Jordan follows-up on Olivia-J. Curtis comes in. Jordan says he didn’t have to do what he did. He says he’s practically an expert. She mentions some case and says it doesn’t count, but he says he’s two for two. He wants her to admit she’s glad he’s alive. He reminds her that she was also knocked unconscious, and needs to see a doctor.

Franco sees Elizabeth and kisses her.

There’s a knock on Ava’s door. It’s Carly, who starts to bang on the door like a lunatic. Ava tells Carly she’s no longer a suspect, and there’s proof someone else planted the bomb.

Julian sees Alexis on the footbridge. Olivia puts a gun in his back and says right on time.

Elizabeth and Franco find Finn and Hayden. Elizabeth asks if Finn is sick, and Hayden says he’s going through withdrawal.

Sonny comes by Sam’s room. He says he heard Jason saved the day, but Jason says Curtis did most of the work. Sonny checks out Emily, saying she’ll give Avery a run for her money. Sam says she knows he’s thinking about Morgan, and she’s sorry. He says nothing to be sorry about; the baby is a blessing.

Carly says everyone kept telling her that Ava couldn’t be guilty, but Julian was talking to his sister on the recording. Ava says he was talking to his sister, but not to her. He was talking to the sister who supposedly died in 1990, but didn’t. She shows Carly an article about Olivia-J on her tablet, and says Carly can apologize now. Carly looks at Olivia’s picture and says she killed my son.

Julian tells Olivia-J to let Alexis go; she has nothing to do with it. Olivia says she has everything to do with it. She wants him to feel the same pain she did when he murdered Duke, and she lost the love of her life. The difference is, she isn’t going to kill Alexis, Julian is.

Elizabeth says she’ll help Finn, but she can’t let him go back to work in his condition. Hayden asks if she’s going to report him, but Elizabeth says his secret is safe as long as he takes a leave of absence.

Jordan tells Curtis that she feels fine, and there’s a madwoman running loose. He says as soon as she gets checked out, she can go back to work. He tells her that it’s good she has someone looking out for her.

Out in the hallway, Jason explains to Sonny about Olivia-J. He says it was only a matter of time before she made a mistake. He tells Sonny to go home to Carly, but Sonny says she wants nothing to do with him. Jason asks if she knows about Nelle. Sam pops out, saying that Emily is done eating. She asks if Sonny is all right. He says the woman who killed his son is still out there

Carly asks if Ava believes Olivia-J is alive. Ava says considering she saw her, she doesn’t have much choice. Carly asks why she didn’t call police, and Ava tells her that Olivia had her tied up and threatened the safety of someone she cares about. Carly says she thought that Ava cared about Morgan. Carly tells Ava that she doesn’t want the police finding Olivia; she wants to find her first, and make her pay in ways she couldn’t imagine. Ava says she guesses prison won’t suffice, and Carly asks if it would had it been Kiki? Ava says no, but keep in mind that it wasn’t Olivia’s intention. Morgan shouldn’t have been in the car. Carly says you don’t get to plant a bomb and say oops, didn’t mean it, when there’s collateral damage. There’s nothing she could say or do to get Carly to forgive her.

Olivia-J tells Julian that he’s going to shoot Alexis. He laughs, saying that she’s missing the mark. He says Alexis and he are done; they have no love for each other. Olivia says that any fool can see he’s madly in love with her. She’s learned that pain and love are two sides of the same coin, and he’s learning that lesson. If he doesn’t do it, she will. She gives him the gun. He tells Alexis that he’s sorry, and shoots.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam to cherish every moment with the baby. He leaves, and Sam says she feels awful for him. Jason agrees, and asks how she is. She says fine right now, and snuggles against him.

Finn signs a request for a leave of absence, and thanks Elizabeth for her discretion. She says just make it count. Franco brings in a wheelchair to take Elizabeth back to work. Finn wants to take Hayden up on her offer of help, but feels that it’s something he needs to do on his own.

Dante confirms to Jordan that she needs to be checked out. Curtis is glad for another voice of reason.

The chain on the handcuffs is broken. Julian tells Alexis to run.

Epiphany comes to get Jordan. Jordan tells Curtis that he doesn’t have to wait, but he says he does.

Carly picks up an empty martini glass, and asks Ava if it was Olivia-J’s. Ava says Julian always said that Olivia was a lunatic, and he wasn’t kidding. She tells Carly that she doesn’t want to repeat the experience of meeting her, and Carly says she won’t have to, and smashes the glass against the wall.

Sonny calls in favors. He wants the bitch who killed his son.

Julian and Olivia-J struggle over the gun. Alexis starts to run and a shot goes off. Olivia looks into the water. Well, either Julian is in the water or Olivia is going to keel over into it.

Tomorrow, Carly talks to Morgan some more, Sonny asks Curtis for help, and Jake refuses to talk about what happened on the island with Helena.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom plays a trumpet while dog Charlotte gives him the side eye. Jax stops by, and asks about bringing Tom’s triplet brothers in for the wedding. He’s concerned about the expense because they’ve waited until the last minute. The triplets still live at home in Yuli, Florida. I mention the town because Tom says it’s some place no one has heard of, but I just sent an eBay order there not that long ago. Tom calls and asks if the brothers can make it if he and Jax spring for the tickets. Tom wants it to be a surprise, and Jax seconds that. Jax says the triplets love their brother, but aren’t the most responsible guys on the planet. I’d say so, since they’re still living at home and they’re not children. Or even college students.

The bridesmaids go for a fitting. Nice dresses! Katie shows up, and is impressed with how the girls look. She says everyone is going to look fantastic, especially her. Well, let’s hope so.

Schwartz has the responsibility of going to Dylan’s Candy Bar and getting candy for the wedding favors. Jax loads up on candy corn, and Tom says he’d rather let Jax bang his girlfriend than eat candy corn. I don’t know about that, but I personally find candy corn stomach-turning. Jax calls it a favorite Halloween treat. I didn’t even like it when I was a kid. It was one of those dud candies. Chocolate or die.

Stassi talks about some upcoming dates, but she doesn’t want to bring anyone to the wedding. She wants to hang out with her friends and stalk the eligible bachelors. They discuss Katie working on her anger issues.

Schwartz says he fell apart in NOLA and was a mess. Now, moving forward, he’s left lingering resentments behind. I’d actually be more concerned about Katie’s lingering resentments.

At SUR, Katie tells Jax and Scheana about her date night with Schwartz. Scheana says better to fix the problems now than after they have kids. She’s thinking about next summer for her, but Jax thinks that’s too soon. They talk about Stassi dating again. Scheana tells them that Shay is working on something special for her in the studio, but Jax wonders if it’s just avoidance.

Lisa finds two horses outside of the restaurant. She says there’s always an aura of magic and surprise in West Hollywood, and always expect the unexpected. She gets on one of the horses and rides into the restaurant. Not really, she rode about half a block, but that would have been cool.

In the restaurant, Lisa tells Jax he needs to be more heavy-handed in pouring Sangria. She tells him the glass is barely wet and in her interview, says he pours for her like he’s her date on prom night. He tells Lisa about Scheana wanting kids soon, and thinks Shay is avoiding her. He says he’s always thought she could do better, but Lisa says it’s not her business unless Scheana makes it her business. Thank you. And I wouldn’t blame Shay for avoiding this crowd if he wants to stay sober. I’m sure they have other friends, right? Right?

Stassi is doing a photo shoot to get her mojo back. If some of the photos are hot and not too risqué, she’s going to use them for her dating app. Seeing Tom dressed as a woman has encouraged her to up her game. She talks to Katie about the wedding, and says it’s getting real now. She realized how much she cared about their friendship when they were apart, and says it feels good to be friends again. The photographer has Stassi put on a barely there body suit. Stassi says there’s something liberating about letting it all hang out.

Brittany scares Jax by telling him that she discussed Schwartz’s with Kristen. She tells him to calm down, and reminds him that he’s the one with the biggest mouth in town. He claims Kristen is worse, but, no.

Raquel’s mother and sister come to visit. James says that dating her is a world of difference from dating Kristen, and I’m not repeating the analogy he gives. James tells them that he’s not working at SUR or PUMP anymore. He says he kept getting into “situations.” We flash back to him getting drunk and behaving like a rabid animal, and Lisa telling him that he’s turning into an a-hole before her eyes. He says he has a gig at a new restaurant, and he hasn’t been drinking. He promises that he loves Raquel, and the family thing means a lot to him. In his interview, he talks about his parents’ divorce, gets all teary, and says he sees a future with Raquel. Her mother proposes a toast, and everyone loves everyone.

Katie and Schwartz are getting ready to leave for the wedding. Stassi comes over to help them. They’re bringing a cake and a piñata. Stassi says the piñata is probably filled with condoms, gummi bears, Ninja Turtle action figures, and maybe some weed. Ha-ha! I love Stassi’s sense of humor. Schwartz says they like taking road trips, and he likes Katie doing the driving. Stassi takes a going away picture.

Lala shows up at SUR while Ariana is on her break. In her interview, Ariana says she hasn’t seen Lala since the birthday debacle, and it sounds like she’s not too interested. Lala has some things to say in person. She’s serious about how sorry she is. She tells Ariana that she’s embarrassed about her actions in not showing up for Ariana’s birthday. Ariana has been a good friend, and she’s sorry how she handled things. She tells Ariana that sometimes when she can’t manage her life, she goes into shut-down mode. In her interview, Ariana says she wants to give Lala another chance, but she’s not going to pretend nothing happened. Lala asks if Lisa is there, and asks Ariana to pray and/or give good vibes. She goes inside.

Lisa asks Lala what the hell happened. Lala explains about shutting down, and how when that happens, it’s f-u to everyone, and she does what she wants to do. Lisa says owning it doesn’t absolve her from taking responsibility. She had Lala’s back, and Lala let everyone down. Lala says she feels embarrassed and awful. Lisa says she left them hanging, but they survived without her. She doesn’t think Lala was honest with her life, and Lala says she doesn’t think anyone there is worthy of hearing about her life. Not too entitled sounding. Lisa is like fine, keep your life private then, but when you lie, don’t expect people not to call you on it. Lala gets weepy and says she’s different from other people, and her anxiety prevents her from doing a lot of things. Lisa tells her to grow from it. In her interview, Lisa says Lala’s entire strategy is being young and pretty, which isn’t going to last forever. She tells Lala to keep in touch.

Tom tells Katie he’s excited, but he misses his brothers.

Kristen and Carter are packing. Kristen explains the logistics. She asks if he knows about Schwartz’s brothers, and tells him about the surprise. She whispers like Schwartz is in the next room.

Oooh! A bear! Katie says it’s the first bear she’s seen, and Schwartz says there are bears all over West Hollywood. HAHA! (Google it.) They get to the cabin, and the venue people help them with the cake. The co-owner goes over expenses. An extra 10K for the flower additions. I faint. Aside from my bouquet, and bud vases for the tables, my flower budget was zippity-doo-da. I couldn’t justify buying flowers for an hour’s service, and the caterer/planner decided on the centerpieces. $51,058 is the grand total. I pick myself back up off of the floor again, and I can’t even repeat what Schwartz says in his interview. That’s a lot of money for a wedding in the woods. Katie thinks they should drink, write the check, and chill. I’d have to down a lot of booze to write a check in that amount for anything except real estate. I’d have to be drunk to begin with to spend that much on a wedding.

Kristen and Carter arrive. Schwartz says he could be clear of student loan debt, but instead he’s writing a check for flowers and a buffet. Student loans for what? Schwartz has a degree? What is he doing with his life? Stassi is next, bearing the piñata. Her friend Rachael is with her. They had some travel problems, and she says they ended up having to navigate by the stars. Katie tells her about the bear. She can’t believe everything the group has been through, and says being there together is a testament about how much they care about each other. She feels lucky to have a “framly.”

Tom missed his flight because he forgot his suit, but I don’t know if that’s just a story to cover for picking up the brothers. Schwartz talks about his dad not coming because of a flying fear, his sister having to work, and that his brothers not coming because of finances. I’m thinking if the wedding cost that much, what was another $1500 to get them there (which is what it ended up costing for three tickets at the last minute).

Jax says Schwartz’s brothers share a cell phone, so communication hasn’t been the greatest. He’s not going to relax until they’ve arrived.

Scheana is looking forward to spending time with Shay. She shows Shay a pantsuit she’s considering for the rehearsal dinner. He tells her that when he does laundry, he doesn’t even know what half the things are that she wears.

Giggy! Harrison! Lisa and Ken arrive with the dogs, Pandora, and her husband. The desk clerk tells them about the great hiking nearby, and Lisa says the last time she did a hike, it was to Neiman Marcus. Their room is bi-level and beautiful. Lisa can’t believe this is actually happening. Ken wonders If Schwartz is going to back out. We flash back to a few times when he’s quit what he started. Giggy!

Everyone manages to get to the venue in one piece, minus Tom. Schwartz tells Jax that his and Brittany’s room is where the saloon used to be. Ariana says Tom made it to the gate just as it closed, and she could see his nose pressed against the window glass as the plane took off. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was my mental picture. Jax tells Brittany he has to call Tom, since Schwartz’s brothers missed the flight

Next time, the gang goes tubing, the piñata happens, lots of booze is consumed, the brothers arrive, and the wedding begins.

🏖 Summer is finally over on Summer House. The most boring show ever. Weekend at Bernie’s is a better illustration of the Hamptons. It was tough for me to keep the names straight. Everyone looked alike, and I swear all the girls were named Lindsay. There was a Kyle and a Carl for God’s sake. Kyle was one of the few I could decipher, probably because the show started with him striking out with Stassi, who was spending a weekend there. In the finale, he made a commitment to his girlfriend, Amanda, whom he invited out for the final weekend. Most likely after discovering that no one else would have him. Sadly, the Pegasus pool float didn’t make it, and Carl had to stage a burial. He said that Pegasus deflated was the perfect metaphor for the summer, and I tend to agree. There was no indication of a reunion. Hope this group enjoyed the fifteen minutes they got off of Stassi’s coattails.

🍑 On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Phaedra staged a weird friendship intervention that she called a “restoration meeting.” This made it sound like there was something spiritual about it, but it was more like a grievance airing. Cynthia could barely keep her eyes open, and to no one’s surprise, Porsha couldn’t understand why it was bad to make up criminally prosecutable lies about Kandi when she felt hurt. While for a moment, it was disquieting to think that Phaedra could be the voice of reason, as Kandi so aptly put it, the meeting was an epic fail. The saddest thing was Sheree having a come-to-Jesus moment about her ex, Bob Whitfield, who still doesn’t understand what he did wrong.

🗽 The Real Housewives of New York: How They Got Here airs on Wednesday, March 15, at 9 pm. As with Southern Charm, it’s a retrospective. I guess this is a thing now, and who can blame Bravo? Why not milk the franchises for all they’re worth? I’d hate to be that guy – and you know there was one – who thought Bravo was a complete waste of time and effort and would never turn a profit. Hopefully, he didn’t sell his stock.


March 7, 2017 – Olivia-J Recreates Duke, Candace Nails Her Mark, Erika Goes Home, a Little LA & Upcoming Shows


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Diane tells Lulu they don’t want to overplay their hand. Nina’s absence at the hearing will speak volumes.

Nora tells Valentin that she wouldn’t be a good lawyer if she misrepresented his chances. She asks if he and Nina could put aside their personal differences for Charlotte’s sake.

At Crimson, Laura tells Nina that she has nothing against her; they have a lot in common. She’s lost years of her life too. Nina asks why she’s there, and Laura says she thinks she knows a way they can both get what they want.

Jordan comes to the hospital and asks where Julian is.

Julian tells Anna that Olivia-J wants GH, and passes out. Andre and Jordan come in. Anna tells them that Olivia is alive, and did this to Julian. Jordan says she promises they’ll get to the bottom of it, but let them do their job. Anna says Olivia is in the hospital somewhere, and they can’t let her escape.

Griff wakes up strapped to a table. Olivia says she knew that bump on the head wouldn’t keep him down long; he’s just like his father. She tells him that she’d explain if there was time, but they’ve been found out. He says he knows who she is, and she tells him that she’s Olivia Jerome, the person he’s going to spend the rest of his life with. Great.

Diane tells Lulu that she brought the social worker’s report, and it will present the kind of parents they’ll be for Charlotte. Lulu tells Dante what a great dad he is. She wonders what’s holding up Laura.

Laura says it’s clear that Nina and Charlotte love each other. Nina says if Valentin gets custody, that’s not a problem. Laura says she heard they were having issues; Maxie texted her. Laura thinks Nina is questioning what she knows about Valentin.

Nora asks Valentin if they have Nina’s support. He says she’s accepted certain truths about his life, but is becoming increasingly uneasy with them. Nora says that it’s better that Nina not be there at the beginning, rather than disappearing later, and Valentin says he told her not to come unless she’s in it for the long haul. Nora says where she comes from, that’s called an old tomato ultimatum, and never ends well.

Lucas talks to Alexis about Sam. She can’t believe that she came so close to losing Sam and Scout, and that she’d almost started to believe Julian. Lucas is shocked that Olivia is back. Alexis hopes that she’s far away. Valerie comes out of the elevator, and asks them to come with her.

Julian says Fred Gray botched it. Jordan asks if Gray was working with Olivia-J, but Julian says he’s the one who brokered the deal. Anna wonders why Olivia would come back to GH. Jullian tells her that Olivia wants what’s underneath it.

Griff asks where he is. Olivia-J says they don’t have time for questions, but they’re under the hospital, and he’s as exhausting as Robin. He asks where Robin is, and Olivia says she’s safe. She marvels at his resemblance to Duke, and asks if Duke ever talked about her. He tells her that he never met his father, and found out about him through Anna, and Olivia says her name is not to be spoken. She lights a candle, and asks if he feels something. She says it must be hard to work here with his father’s soul locked in the walls. Griff says his father’s soul is at peace. Olivia says she heard him cry out for vengeance and justice, but he got none of those things. His soul is locked in GH’s walls. He won’t be free of this mortal coil unless she helps him to get a new life. He needs a vessel to return to, and because of Griff, he has one.

Valentin tells Nora that Nina is passionate and compulsive. She’s angry with him, and not without reason. He doesn’t want her to do something impulsive at the hearing, and says she should stay at the office. Nora says they can work with that, and spins it to make Nina a role model. He says Nora really is the best, but Nora says she’d feel better if Nina was beside him in court.

Nina says that Laura knows nothing about Valentin, her, or their marriage, and not to disrespect her in her office. Laura says she knows about the Cassadines, but Nina says that Valentin didn’t grow up with them. Laura says maybe it’s genetic, and they all use secrets as currency. She asks if Valentin left Nina in the dark about something, and Nina says it’s none of her business. Laura says maybe things will work out or maybe one day Nina will wonder who’s she’s sleeping next to. If they split up, she’ll never see Charlotte again. If Lulu gets custody, she’ll make sure Nina is in Charlotte’s life. Nina asks what she has to do in return.

Griff says Olivia-J is insane, and Olivia says she’s tired of hearing that. He says Duke is dead, and she can’t bring him back. She insists that she can bring back the love of her life. She lights a candle, and says when the flame goes out, Duke has returned. Griff says he knows she loved him, and it’s hard to accept. She wants him to drink some forgetfulness cleansing tea. She says some call it a metaphor, but they need to cleanse his body like a factory reset, so Duke’s soul can return. He says he’s not drinking it. She puts a funnel in his mouth. I have to laugh because it all looks so silly.

Anna asks Julian what he means about underneath the hospital. Andre says there’s a chance he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He asks if Olivia-J was ever a psyche patient, and Anna says yes, about a thousand times. Andre thinks her file might be of use, and asks Jordan to confer. He tells Anna she’s in no position to be playing super spy. She tells him that she’s the most qualified, and he says she’s also the most vulnerable because of being on blood thinners. Jordan says Olivia won’t get away. Anna says she doesn’t answer to Jordan, and Andre asks her not to do anything reckless.

Olivia-J tells Griff to relax. She says he’s a good son, giving his father a second chance to live. Duke would be proud. She tells him it will be over before he knows it, and takes out a scalpel.

Valerie tells Alexis that there’s a threat. Anna joins them, and tells her about Julian being attacked by Olivia-J, and that they think she’s still in the hospital. Alexis stomps off to find Julian. Anna tells Lucas about how Olivia wants what’s underneath the hospital. He tells her Tony was blackmailed into working in Helena’s lab under the hospital, but he figured the fire destroyed the lab. Anna deputizes him (sort of), and says Olivia wants Helena’s lab.

Valentin comes into the courtroom, and Diane tells Lulu to focus. Nora tells Valentin to stay calm and stable. Diane is a master at innuendo and rumor, and passing it off as fact. She tells him not to take the bait when she slings dirt. Diane tells Lulu to let Nina’s absence to speak for itself.

Laura tells Nina that neither Lulu or Valentin seem to be more qualified than the other. Nina says that Charlotte loves Valentin, and Lulu scares her. Laura asks her to testify that her marriage is a sham. Nina says it might be shaky right now, but her marriage is real. Laura says they’re already fighting, and asks if Nina is confident that their marriage can withstand Valentin getting Charlotte and not needing her anymore. Nina says that Laura is playing with her feelings. Laura admits she is, but nothing she’s said is a lie. Nina says Valentin has done nothing to hurt her, and Laura wants her to stab him in the back. Laura says she’s in control, not him. She can testify on his behalf or tell the truth and still keep Charlotte in her life. She asks Nina to think about it for Charlotte’s sake, and hopes she sees Nina in court.

Alexis bursts into Julian’s room.

Andre looks over Olivia-J’s hospital files. He says she was sent to Ferncliff after her dead brother tried to kill her. She was briefly in a coma, and reverted to a childlike state when she woke up. According to the notes, she believed she was a seven or eight-year-old. Andre says it can be a psychosis that’s a response to an emotional trauma where the mind retreats from reality. The person can’t process particular pain or loss, and latches onto a fantasy.

Anna goes to the hospital basement. She sees Olivia-J’s fingerprints by the secret door and opens it. Olivia drips Griff’s blood onto the candle flame. She talks to Duke, saying she’s prepared a vessel for him, and he has to choose to live again. The door opens, but it’s not Duke, it’s Anna.

Laura gets to the court just in time. Lou Judge Rawles asks for opening statements. Lulu goes first. Blah-blah-blah daughter I didn’t know about blah-blah feelings blah-blah a mother’s connection. Zzzzzzzz…. Wake me when it’s Valentin’s turn. Lulu says she can offer Charlotte a stable home and a brother who adores her (really? I don’t think they’ve been in the same vicinity more than twice), and a loving father. She asks for full custody.

Anna says, so she is alive. Olivia-J says it wouldn’t be a reunion for her and Duke without Anna crashing the party. Olivia holds up the scalpel, and says Duke is coming back. She’s found a body to house his soul, and unless Anna wants them both to be lost, she’ll put the gun down.

Alexis says if Julian hadn’t been such a tool, her granddaughter wouldn’t have been born in the cold. Julian gets sappy about having a new grandchild, but Alexis says he’s not going anywhere near her.

Anna puts down the gun. She tells Olivia-J not to hurt Griff, but Olivia says don’t tell her what to do. They struggle over the scalpel. Of course it has to be a scalpel.

Nina looks at the picture from Charlotte.

Valentin talks about how neither he nor Lulu were willing participants in the embryo implantation, but when he found out he had a child brewing, he found a surrogate. He was in the delivery room when Charlotte was born, and was with her for all her firsts. He’s already established that Charlotte knows and loves him, and he’s been the one constant in her life. He says Lulu is attached to idea of Charlotte in the abstract “my daughter,” but doesn’t know her as a person. She’s not a possession. She’s a beautiful little girl who needs stability and constancy. This is Charlotte’s life and childhood, and her needs are more important than his or the Falconaris’.

Anna and Olivia-J struggle over the scalpel.

Valerie says everyone is accounted for except Griff. Jordan says he’s Duke’s son.

More struggle. Anna tells Olivia-J to stop before someone gets hurt. Olivia says that Duke is coming for her, not Anna, and she’s going to make sure she’s dead this time. She throws Anna down, but Anna kicks her. Olivia slashes at Anna with the scalpel, and one or both of them flash back to when they were younger. (And so was I – sob!) Olivia tells Anna that she’s bleeding, and she is. A lot.

Diane presents the social worker’s report, and the judge wants a quick break to read it. Nora also has affidavits for her. Lulu says she almost believed Valentin’s statement. Diane tells her to focus on what they’re presenting; any character witness can swing things either way. Nina walks in.

Alexis asks Julian if it was his idea for Olivia-J to be her sponsor. Lucas comes in, and Julian says it wasn’t like that, and he has a lot to tell her. She tells him to save it; she’s done with him. She’s going home to throw the safe deposit key in the trash.

The candle goes out, and Griff wakes up with a start, startling me. Olivia whacks Anna a good one, and she’s out. Griff breaks the straps like he’s the Hulk.

Jordan wants the hospital swept. She goes to Julian’s room and says they think Olivia-J is targeting Griff. She asks Julian about the basement, and he says that Olivia has Anna.

Olivia-J is about to shoot Anna when Griff appears. Olivia asks, could it be? and Griff says, it’s him – Duke.  I gotta say, Griff looks super-hot, and I would swear he was really Duke come back from the dead if I didn’t think he was just trying to get the better of Olivia. Or is Duke really back? There were vampires in Port Charles at one time…

Tomorrow, Carly threatens Nelle, Nina tells the truth, and Olivia-J tells Griff that Anna has to die.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Hannah tells the desk sergeant that her daughter is Candace Young, and the sergeant asks her to wait there.

Rookie tells Justin he’s sorry for shooting at Jeffrey. Justin says they were just goofing around. Rookie says it looked like Jeffrey had gotten the best of him, and didn’t know Jeffrey was his friend. Justin insists Jeffrey isn’t his friend confusing all of us. Justin says he’ll squelch the report, so Rookie doesn’t get in trouble. The desk sergeant comes to get Justin, who apparently runs the police department.

Justin approaches Hannah. He asks if she knows where Candace is. She says she does, and he asks where. She asks how Candace is going to be arrested. Justin asks if she has weapons. Hannah doesn’t think so, and he says they’ll just ask her to come with them. She says she has Candace’s son, her grandson, and doesn’t want him to see her get arrested. Justin says they’ll do their best, and asks if Hannah can entice her outside. Hannah says she’ll try, but she wants to be sure. Justin promises they’ll wait for her to come outside to take her into custody. Hannah gives him the hotel and room number. She asks if he can wait until Quincy Jr. is on the school bus. He asks who she is to Candace, and Hannah tells him that she’s Candace’s mother. He asks if she knows how Quincy Maxwell died. She says she doesn’t, and Justin says he was stabbed over 40 times. Hannah tells him to look up Quincy’s record. Justin asks about Quincy and Candace’s relationship. Hannah says he was violent, and if she did anything, it was probably in self-defense. Hannah starts to get defensive herself.

Justin says there had to be more than one assailant. The medical examiner thinks there might have been a man involved, and he asks if Hannah can think of anyone. Hannah says she can’t, and Justin gives her his card. He says they don’t even have a warrant yet, so they’ll be waiting for her call. He tells her she did the right thing.

After Hannah leaves, Justin calls Jeffrey. Jeffrey doesn’t answer.

Charles tells Candace that he doesn’t know if he really wants the presidency. She says it’s POTUS, and asks if he knows how many men and women have dreamt of that. He says it can be stifling, and the bubble is small. He grew up in Detroit by way of Tennessee, and it’s debilitating. He loves politics, but not the Whitehouse. Not without his wife, raising his kids alone. He says he’s a good guy, and Candace says her chief-of-staff will hook him up.

Charles says he’s going to be president, and can’t sleep with a woman he just met. Candace says he’s single and they like each other, so what’s up with that? He repeats that he can’t. She asks if it’s the bubble or his wife. He says he was with his wife for fifteen years and doesn’t know how to do this. He says Candace seems bored, and she asks if he likes strong women. He says he does, and calls her beautiful, but he can’t do this. Candace says what if she told him she wasn’t interested in ever letting anyone know? He says he’s heard that before, and then it’s used against you. She asks what about her reputation, and he asks how he would ruin it. She says she’s worked for everything she has, and wouldn’t want to waste it. She wants people to know she worked to get where she is, so she’s not interested in ever letting this moment be known. He asks if she promises. She does, and he says he finds her impossible to resist. She says most men do.

She tells him to stop thinking and just be Charles for an hour or two. They start to make out. She leads him to the bed. Where there’s a bunch of crap. You might want to clean that off. They get busy in the middle of all the papers and books and stuff. Ow!

Jeffrey reads the texts from Justin, telling him how the police think more than one person was involved in Quincy’s murder. Veronica asks if she needs to take the phone away, and tells him to get in the room. He goes in and sits on the bed. Melissa comes out in lingerie. Jeffrey says that does nothing for him and she says it was Veronica’s idea.

Candace and Charles bask in the afterglow. Jeffrey leaves a message for Candace to call him back.

Melissa asks Jeffrey what’s going on; he seems bothered. He says she’s why he’s bothered, and she asks what’s really going on. She can tell there’s something else. He says he got in a fight. She asks if it was bad, and he asks if she’s acting like she cares. She says she’s not acting, but forget it. She asks if the officer outside was the lover who pissed him off, and by the body language, it seemed like something casual between them. He says yes, Justin is his lover and they just had sex and it was good. He goes on about it, but Melissa is unfazed. Jeffrey continues with TMI, and she rolls her eyes.

Veronica walks in and asks, what happened then? She heard him telling his story, so finish. Melissa tries to intervene, but Veronica says she’s not talking to her; she wants to know how low Jeffrey can go. She tells him, you work, Miss Thing, and he says she’s been drinking. She brings up Jeffrey testifying, and tells Melissa that he’s done all kinds of things to her, including putting a knife in her chest. She says he doesn’t understand she’ll always be here. She doesn’t know what was going on between him and Officer Too Friendly, but this is his future.

Melissa says if Jeffrey wants to be with a man, he should. Veronica starts laughing. She says Melissa is bought and paid for, and it’s not to think. She tells Jeffrey not to see that man again. He says he’s done, and she needs to let this go. He tells her to go to bed and sleep it off. She says she’s not afraid of him, and he calls her sick. She says she’s not trying to hurt him: she’s trying to make his life better. He says, by locking him up? She begs him to try a few more times. She’s giving him freedom, and he needs to honor it. She says enough disgusting talk, and asks Melissa what she thinks. Melissa says she doesn’t think. Veronica tells Jeffrey to enjoy his future wife.

Melissa apologizes to Jeffrey. She puts her hand on his shoulder and he tells her move. She says she’s sorry for everything, and for him being involved, and starts to cry. She says Veronica should be asleep by now, and he can leave; she’ll cover for him. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want her to do anything for him ever. Melissa says it’s wrong the way Veronica is treating him and holding her father over her head. She has Melissa the way she has Jeffrey. Her father worked hard his whole life, and she thought she could help. It seemed like a way out, but it’s deeper in. Jeffrey says he can’t go to jail.

She asks what he did, and he says murdered someone. She says with Veronica as a mother, she’s surprised he’s not a serial killer. She realizes he’s telling the truth, and he says she should be afraid of him. She says death doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea, and asks why he did it. He says he was being pushed. She asks if he’s being pushed now. He says yes, and he snapped. Melissa says she just needs enough money to take care of her dad. Veronica will be asleep on the couch soon. He says he’s not doing anything to his mom, and Melissa says she just meant if he wanted to see his friend, but he has to be back by 4 am, since she comes upstairs like clockwork. She tells Jeffrey good-night.

Oscar calls Jim. He has Wyatt’s address, and Jim says they used to own the building. Oscar says it will be hard to find out where the money is offshore, but he’s working on it. Jim is impressed. Jim calls George and says he’ll help him trap Candace in exchange for one thing. George says he’ll give him all the photos. Jim says that If he does this, he wants it over.

Jim looks outside and calls to Kathryn. He asks if Hannah has Amanda’s car. Kathryn says she gave it to her. Jim wonders what’s going on with the two of them.

Kathryn goes out to the car. Hannah tells her that she needs a criminal lawyer. Kathryn asks what she’s done now, but Hannah says it’s for her son and daughter. Kathryn says that Hannah knows how much she hates Candace, but Hannah says that Candace is still her daughter, and the favor is for her. Kathryn asks what Benny has to do with it, but Hannah says she can’t say. She asks if Kathryn will help her. Kathryn says she’ll make some calls, but as much as she hates the bitch, Veronica is the best. Hannah says that Veronica is her friend, and Kathryn is like, whatever you say. She tells Hannah that she’ll call Marty in the morning. Hannah thanks her, and says she has to get back.

Charles and Candace bask in more afterglow. They have pillow talk, and he asks how many men she’s been with. She says the only thing that matters is who she’s with at the time, but she used to see a lot of men. He asks what’s changed. She tells him that she’s getting older and wants to settle down. He asks for her story. She asks what’s his story, and he tells her that he’s running for president. She says most stories are more complicated, and he says the reality is that she can’t know. She asks why. Charles tells her that he wants to be president, he just met her, and they end up in bed. His wife would never have done this, since she was conservative. Candace thinks he’s a wannabe freak, and maybe his wife was too. He wonders if he said anything wrong, and she says no problem. He tells her that it would hurt a lot of people if this came out, and that he can’t have this come out. She picks up her phone and says she can.

Meanwhile, David and Erica are going at it. Erica sees War in the doorway.

Next time, the finale – Jim wants a night with Candace, Hannah asks Benny what he did, and Candace tells Charles that he messed with the wrong female.

Important information. If Loving You is Wrong starts its new season on Tuesday, March 21st, at 9 pm.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Harrison! Giggy! Schnooky! LisaV tells Ken that if she was Kyle, she’d be more pissed off at LisaR than Eden. She tells him about how LisaR called Kyle an enabler. He thinks she just says whatever pops into her head. I think he’s right. I have to mention, I’ve been thinking about Ken all week, and how emotional he got over the disgusting dog meat trade. Being British, he’s not the type to normally show his feelings, and I thought it took a very strong man to reveal that to the world. My husband bought something from Amazon made in China the other day, and I almost popped him in the nose.

Kyle meets Dorit for lunch. Erika meets Eileen for lunch in another location. Erika says she’s going to visit her mom in Georgia, and that her mom is in a play. She tells Eileen that her mother has had a resurgence, and Eileen calls it cute. Let’s not diminish another woman’s accomplishments or anything. Bleh. I’m liking Eileen less as this show goes on.

Kyle tells Dorit about an event happening at her store. They have some kind of drink debuting, and The Fat Jewish is going to help with the promotion. Dorit says that Kim was a rock star last night, and we flash back to her basically telling LisaR off.

In her interview, Eileen says LisaR can often get in trouble for what she says, but she’d rather deal with someone like her. She seems to think this falls under honesty, although many of the Wives have a skewed view of what that is. News flash. It doesn’t mean just saying whatever floats through your brain.

LisaR thinks that she and Kim had a moment of release and need to move on now. We flash back to them hugging it out, and Lisa thanking Kim for being open. Lisa says if you hang onto resentment and anger, it only poisons you. She talks some nonsense about positive energy.

Dorit says when someone keeps doing the same thing over and over, it’s hard to get past it. Dr. Phil calls this stepping on your foot. You can’t forgive someone for stepping on your foot if they’re still stepping on it. She says LisaR makes you think you can trust her, but you blink, and then you can’t. She says Kim and LisaR have been able to work things out – for now – but wonders how many times it’s going to happen. She gives Eden some leeway for being influenced by her relationship with her own sister.

Kyle meets with The Fat Jewish. She asks him to call LisaR out on saying she’s sick, but showing shoe shopping on her Instagram. He calls her, and she says she has the stomach flu. He says she was shopping earlier, but she says the doctor was next to Sak’s. Eden arrives with her friend, Dru.

Dorit trips out of the limo, literally, and Eileen and Camille arrive together. The event is in full swing, and Erika is drinking wine out of the bottle with a straw. LisaV wonders why Kyle is calling a Jew fat, and Kyle has to explain. She introduces The Fat Jewish to everyone. Erika gushes over some jeans. The Fat Jewish takes his shirt off and gives Kyle a lap dance. PK tells LisaV that Ken has been giving him a hard time all night. Erika compliments Dorit’s haircut, and Dorit says it’s the first compliment she’s ever gotten from her. Erika says it’s not, so we flash back and she’s correct. Dorit wonders why Erika seems to have a wall up.

LisaV talks about the trip to Hong Kong she’s taking to stop the dog meat trade. Kyle is coming along, because Ken can’t go, and suddenly, everyone else is coming too. In her interview, Lisa says why not invite The Fat Jewish as well.

Commercial break why do they advertise next week’s “whole new episode,” when we’re not done watching this week’s yet?

LisaV instructs her housekeeper about the different dressings she’s made for a lunch she’s having for Dorit, Erika and Kyle. They’re trying out a new wine for the restaurant and she wants to do it right. Dorit hugs Erika for way too long, and even I get uncomfortable. Kyle arrives, and announces that her sister Kim is a grandmother. She says there was quite a crowd at the birth. Lisa says she has a bone to pick with Erika, who invited Eileen to Hong Kong. In her interview, Lisa says the last time they went away, it was a bloody nightmare. She does think it’s a good idea for both LisaR and Eileen to promote the cause though, because they have a few dozen followers on social media. They agree that Eileen is a nice person, but Dorit says she wouldn’t trust her with her innermost secrets. Erika thinks she should only trust PK with those. Erika says she does have a couple of close friends, but she never wanted to be as trusting as her mother. She says she watches and measures when it comes to herself, although that doesn’t mean she’s not sympathetic or empathetic with other people. Dorit says she’s hard to read, and she’s trusting until someone gives her a reason not to be. In her interview, Kyle says she thinks she understands. Erika is guarded because people have judged her. Dorit says it makes her hard to read, and Erika says she’s a different animal.

Erika’s makeup artists, Clyde and Preston, accompany her in the private jet to Atlanta. She says she’s a Southern girl, and she’ll always be a tomboy too. She’s capable of both camping and glamming.

Kyle brings a family cradle to Kim for the new baby. Kim shows her pictures. Kim says it was the most amazing experience of her life. Kyle tells Kim about the trip to Hong Kong. Kim still isn’t sure about the experience at Kyle’s party. She says LisaR is always like, I made a mistake, and Kyle does an imitation of her saying, “own it.” Kim says she doesn’t have the energy to expel for these people, and I relate.

Erika rents a car and heads to her grandparents’ house. Her mom’s fiancé, Chip, greets them. She says it’s great and emotional at the same time. They look at family photos. She talks about how her grandparents always came to the rescue when her mother needed help, and her grandfather was the only father she ever knew. She tells Preston and Clyde about her grandmother’s battle with Alzheimer’s, and it sounds dreadful. She used to speak to her grandmother every day, and when the phone calls stopped, that was the hardest part. She says it was a marker that the woman she knew was no longer, and to see someone so vibrant and strong slip away is inhumane.

Erika’s mom, wearing a Pat the Puss T-shirt, gets home, and we see where Erika got her good looks from. In her interview, Erika tells us that her mother was a piano teacher, but Erika stunk at piano, so she became a singer and dancer. Her mother was 18 when she had Erika, and did the best she could. Erika says she was never cut any breaks, but her mother loved her and wasn’t a bullsh*tter. She says it was like throwing a kid in a pool to learn to swim, but she didn’t drown. Her mom talks about the play. She thinks it’s good to be involved in something like theater, because it keeps her going and alert. Erika says it’s important to be creative and continue to express herself. Thank God she didn’t say it was cute.

Giggy! Harrison! Ken! LIsaV and Ken go to the dog rescue. Lisa is so excited, she slides down the bannister. She wants to make the rescue center like a lifestyle shop. She says there’s going to be a spa where Vanderpups can get the best blow job in Hollywood. Ha-ha! That LisaV, she’s a real card.

LisaR comes by. Giggy is too precious for words with his little bald behind and pom-pom paws. LisaR says she’s still not 100% well. LisaV explains that they started Vanderpump Pets as a company, but then they realized what was happening in China, so they expanded operations and are also making a documentary. She tells LIsaR they need someone on all fours, and asks her if she’d like to come along to Hong Kong, and put the Dubai trip behind them. In her interview, she says that she wants to mend fences, but isn’t going to forget what happened. It’s not a grudge; it’s being smart. I’m totally on board. That LisaV, she’s also very wise. LisaR is glad to hear it. She’s moved on, but hearing this from LisaV is like getting a bonus check. LisaV asks for LisaR’s feather eyelashes as some kind of commitment, but in her interview, she says she wants LisaR to leave with bald eyes. LisaR hands her lashes over, and in her interview, LisaV says maybe she can manipulate LisaR, and wonders if she’ll carry the bags.

Commercial break with important information. The Real Housewives of New York starts its new season on April 5th, Wednesday, at 9 pm.

In the morning, Erika and her mom go to the cemetery. They take a golf cart to go in. Her mother says she has a fear of being buried and wants cremation. In her interview, Erika says she was closer to her grandmother. I hate to say this, but this looks like a pet cemetery. The headstones are like flattish rocks and it’s in the middle of a forest. I don’t see any other graves around either. What’s going on with this??? They put flowers by the stones, and sit to talk. Erika says she didn’t want to cry today, and her mom says she didn’t cry as a kid. Erika says she was treated like an adult a lot, but she knows her mom was under a lot of pressure. Her mom says it made her a tough old bird (geez, how old is Erika? 40?), and Erika says she gets accused of being cold. She has little patience for crybabies and people who need a lot of hand-holding. I can understand where she’s coming from. I’m not unsympathetic either, but when someone is whining about the same problem they were whining about five years ago, I tend to think they don’t really want to resolve the problem, and start to inch away. Erika’s mom says she’s the sweetest, and Erika appreciates her feelings being validated. Her mom tells Erika that she’s been good to the family, and her grandparents would be proud. We end with a hug.

Next time, Hong Kong phooey, the girls discourage Eden sleeping with someone she doesn’t know, LisaR confronts Dorit, and Erika calls Dorit on her bs. Sounds like it’s not going to be a great trip for Dorit.

A Few Randoms

🔫 ImpostersUma Thurman is the best! Anything with her in it is always worth watching.

🍑 Southern Charm: How They Got Here, March 8th at 9 pm. How they got where? I looked at the blurb in the digital guide and it looks like a retrospective of previous seasons.

💃 Little Women: LA highlights – Matt told Briana he wanted to train to be an MMA fighter, and she asked if he wants to fight people. When he replied, “Well, they don’t fight animals,” I nearly died laughing. Terra gathered the girls to explain that she’s not dying, and until a doctor tells her to stop doing Dancing with the Stars, she’s sticking with it. Christy signed up to have neck surgery, and Elena and Tonya went to a spa for some kind of freezing treatment that’s supposed to help with inflammation. Briana is also dealing with postpartum depression, and Jasmine begged her to get some help before it gets worse.

September 17, 2015 — GH & 100 New York Wives


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

I had an appointment – ok, I went to lunch with a karaoke friend – so I DVR’d it. Glad to see the hospital machines attached to Sonny are in working order now.  Carly was getting dangerously close to one of those tubes though, when she was petting his face.

Morgan is going apesh*t on TJ, grilling him about who Charlie’s boss is, and generally acting crazy. He doesn’t know. Accept it.

Lots of tension at the police station with the Dante/Valerie tryst, but no real moving forward with the storyline. I can’t wait!

Sonny’s daughter, Kristina, arrives on the scene at Alexis’s place. I’ve given up trying to keep whose kids are whose at this point. There are so many baby daddies and mamas, I need a scorecard.

Scotty has blackmailed Ava out of 5 million, in exchange for the flash drive that holds her confession to Connie Falconeri’s murder. Since this evidence has “disappeared,” Ava is a free woman. For now.

Julian is still swearing he’s innocent and more mushy stuff with Carly and Sonny, and Kristina and Sonny in the hospital.

The ending wasn’t bad though. Just when I thought it was nearly a total loss and I shouldn’t have bothered, Scotty and Ava arrive at his place to find it tossed. And no doubt the flash drive is gone. Morgan is also on his way to Julian’s with a gun.

The Real Housewives of NYC: 100th Episode Special

Eight years? Has it really been eight years? Only the OC Wives had been aired when NYC began, making them the beginning of the franchise. It was originally going to be called Manhattan Moms, but they don’t really explain why it was changed. I just can’t imagine it being called that.

In the first minute, this is already fun because they’re showing some clips from the Wives’ audition tapes, interspersed with individual interviews with Andy at the clubhouse. Right away, I miss Alex and Simon. And I don’t miss Jill Zarin, who declined to take part in this show. Because, you know, she is the be all and end all, and can’t believe it’s continued without her. You got fired. Get over it.

Ramona goes on once again about how weird she thought Alex and Simon were, especially since they never wanted to go out apart. Um…who’s still married? I know, I know, I’m being mean, but I’m not too fond of Ramona, who, despite her “new beginnings,” needs to get her nose out of the air. Ramona admits to not being welcoming to Alex and Simon because she felt they were co-dependent and didn’t like it. How mature of her. Simon always reminded me of someone they’d pick to be a contestant on Graham Norton’s made-up game, Gay or Eurotrash? Ramona had a lot of tense moments involving those two. And I think she’s weirder than the both of them put together.

There are some clips from the various trips they’ve taken, and I’m with the Countess, my favorite being their trip to Morocco. The markets look fabulous, and of course there was that bucking camel who almost threw the Countess. It’s interesting to see how the Countess has changed over the years. We’ve gone from “introduce me as Mrs. de Lesseps” to “don’t be all uncool.” In her underwear. Bethenny says she didn’t even know what a countess was before meeting the Countess.  To be honest, I don’t know all the particulars either, but my husband is a marquis and I can tell you that the title and three bucks will get you on the subway in NYC.

Interesting how some watched the OC show prior to being on the NYC one, but others didn’t. I’m not sure if I would or not. It’s almost like deciding if you should read the book before you do the movie. Almost.

Ha-ha! Bethenny says Jill can smell D-list fame like a dog smelling steak. I’ll bet Aviva can too.

Alex and Simon were nothing compared to Kelly, who didn’t even seem to exist on the same planet as the rest of us. Confusing Al Sharpton with Jack Nicholson is pretty out there. And today she blames the other women for an unmarketable time period after the show was aired. Like her behavior had nothing to do with it.

Oh yeah, here comes One Season Cindy. Remember her? Me neither. Heather says her first day of shooting was like the first day of summer camp. What kind of camp did she go to? Was this in the Berkshires?

The whole Jill/Bethenny feud – if that’s what you want to call it – was kind of sad. It seems that Jill thought of them as some kind of team, and when Bethenny’s career took off without her, she got mean. (Ooh, that almost rhymed.) Bethenny tells Andy that it’s not like she was in a girl band. Apparently, after that season ended, Bethenny thought all was well, but Jill waited until the cameras were rolling again to create a scene. She wanted to make Bethenny look bad, but it backfired, and she got fired. Bethenny says that Jill did indeed help to get her on the show, she became the most successful of the Wives, and Jill could have been along for the ride with her, but “pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.” In other words, she wanted it all, but ended up with nothing.

One of the greatest moments in Housewives history was when Aviva threw her artificial leg on the table at La Cirque, stating that it was the only fake thing about her. She tells Andy he’s welcome, and admits to having planned it. Um, we figured that out pretty quickly, since one of those isn’t removed in 5 seconds. Let’s hope not anyway. She says “somebody had to put their foot down.” What a card! When asked for her reaction to the leg incident, the Countess says her first thought was that there’s a dirty shoe near the silverware. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have thought the same. Bethenny also talks about how Aviva was concerned she might not make it onto the show, but Bethenny reassured her that anyone who’d slept with two of the Wives exes and had one leg would be a shoo-in. I’m a card too.

Another great shining Aviva moment. When she declared that Truman Capote was the ghostwriter for To Kill a Mockingbird. Enough said about Aviva.

Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about how, during the first reunion, it was brought up that Alex had posed nude and Ramona left the stage. (BTW, nice crotch shot as she was getting up – what a lady! I hadn’t noticed that before.) This was a seriously ridiculous moment. And it wasn’t even like she posed for Hustler or something. They were art photos. Ramona is bizarrely hypocritical.

Aww! Bethenny is getting all weepy and thanking Andy for the opportunity to influence other women.

Watch What Happens Live Special: Top 10 NYC Moments

Andy shows a “Housewives Playhouse” clip with Bill Hader, Amy Schumer & Judd Apatow reenacting the scene in Turks and Caicos where the Countess offers eggs a la Francaise as a cure all for everything. Judd is playing the Countess like she’s Al Bundy. I have the feeling he’s never seen the show. Bill Hader says he doesn’t even know who his character is, but is still better than Judd. Amy, of course, is admittedly the biggest Wives fan on the planet.

We’re treated to Sonja’s first caberlesque. She really is in amazing shape. We’re also shown clips of the Ramonacoaster and Sonja’s advice. There’s a Halloweave special that I don’t remember. How could I not remember this? Simon sings I’m Real, one of the many Housewives musical efforts, except he’s not a housewife and can’t carry a tune in a bushel basket. Not that it’s ever stopped anyone else.

The Countess singing is the number one moment? Really? Okay, maybe. It was certainly the most lively moment out of what we were given. I guess Andy picked these?

I wish Andy would have another New Year’s Eve party. Like the one and only he had where Giggy married Grandma Wrinkles. It was one of the best New Year’s Eves I ever had. And yes, I know how sad that sounds.

And, as always, we’re left with the eternal question…