Tag Archives: Real Housewives of NYC

August 29, 2018 – No Prague For You, LuAnn Leaves a Hole in the Reunion, Cooks Create from Scraps, Dallas Postponement & Not That Grotto


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital was a rerun, so starting off with the orphan from Tuesday night.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Backtracking on last week’s dinner, Conrad wants a girl who doesn’t criticize everything he does. He tells Hannah that he hates her calling him sweetheart. At the table, Kasey accuses João of staring at her. Conrad tells Hannah it’s not going to work. In his interview, he says if you’re arguing all the time, what’s the point in having a relationship? Hannah asks what about Prague? He says they should just leave it. I’m not sure if he means leave it as in not do it, or leave it as it is. Hannah says she’s already booked her flight, so I guess he means the trip is off. He wants to give her a hug, but that’s a no. João tells Brooke not to be upset, and she says Kasey just asked why he’s staring, and he was. Hannah joins the table, and asks who’s going out? Kasey doesn’t want her dress to be wasted, which I totally understand. In her interview, Brooke says there’s inappropriate closeness between Kasey and João, and he’s making her feel like she’s crazy, but she’s not. She can see it. She’s also annoyed that Kasey is still vying for him. Adam is excited for the charter season to be over. He, Hannah, and Conrad go back to the boat.

The others go out to drink some more. In his interview, João says it’s getting to the serious stage with Brooke, and they didn’t even go through the first stage yet. The more insecure she gets, the more distant he gets.

Adam and Conrad smoke cigars. Adam tells Conrad he used to be a fun, bubbly guy. He used to be contagious; now he’s no fun. He says Conrad is too young for her. She needs a fifty-five-year-old billionaire. Conrad says the saddest bit is that it’s all she looks for. Hannah comes out, and Adam stumbles over his words, pretending they’re not talking about her. Conrad says he’s heading to bed, but Hannah wants to talk. Adam volunteers to go for a walk.

João entertains the table, having moved closer to Kasey. Brooke says this is utter bullsh*t, and leaves. Jamie goes to check on her.

Hannah asks Conrad, why no Prague, and he says it’s going to be a sh*t show, and he wants to enjoy it. Adam listens in. Hannah says she has to change her flight now, and Conrad says she needs to do that. Adam comes back. Hannah gets up, and he asks her to stay, but she tells them to have boys’ time.

Jamie asks Brooke what’s going on. Brooke says she and João are going through a tough stage. Brooke comes back, and dances with Colin. In her interview, Kasey says the reason she’s still flirting with João is that deep down she still likes him. She says if she hadn’t left the dock party, that would be her. Too bad, since they deserve each other. João asks if anyone wants tequila.

Hannah is pissed. Conrad struggles trying to change his clothing for bed.

Brooke goes to the car and passes out. The rest of the crew goes back to the boat. Kasey asks if Brooke is okay, but she doesn’t answer. João suggests he visit Kasey when they get back. Everyone gathers for snacks in the galley. Brooke opens some wine. João and Kasey high five. João lies down, his head practically in Kasey’s lap. Brooke wonders if she should feel offended. Kasey insists he’s not on her, and João says, not yet. Brooke hates everyone and everything right now. She tells everyone to eff off and walks out.

João passes out. Kasey repeats that he’s not even on her. Colin goes to Brooke’s cabin, and she cries while he holds her. She says, it’s not okay, and he says she has to tell him. She says it’s effing obvious, and calls herself pathetic. Kasey wakes João up, and goes to bed. Colin tells Brooke that she can get whatever dude she wants. Her dancing skills are questionable, but he’s serious.

The next morning, Hannah tells Kasey about having to cancel Prague. She says the good thing about twenty-three-year-olds, is, you can take a taxi and get over them. Huh? Where is the taxi going? She picks up fresh flowers on the dock. Colin asks Conrad if he can go to dinner with his parents; he needs to get away. In her interview, Brooke is angry, but can’t remember exactly why. Colin thinks Brooke is the type of girl you should treat like a princess.

Captain Sandy calls Hannah, Conrad, and Adam together for the last and final preference sheet meeting. In her interview, Hannah says if the FBI needs a new kind of torture, they should put someone on a boat with their ex. Primary Clint is a health care lawyer. He’s bringing his daughter and longtime girlfriend Trish. His sons-in-law will be coming too, and he wants to make amazing memories. Hannah makes suggestions, and in her interview, Captain Sandy is proud of Hannah. She’s showing forethought, and this is the Hannah she likes.

Brooke is wearing sunglasses even though she doesn’t need them. João says, good morning, and she ignores him. In his interview, he says tensions are rising. They need to get away. Brooke tells him that she wasn’t thrilled about him lying on Kasey. He thinks it shouldn’t matter because of how he feels about Brooke inside. That’s a new one. Brooke feels stupid. Hannah calls for musicians. Screw blatant chemistry. if a guy I was with was blatantly flirting with someone else – right in front of me no less – we’d be done.

Colin meets his parents at a restaurant. In his interview, he says they’re always happy, and it rubs off on him. Colin’s mom talks about their visit to the boat, and says she’s happy because he was happy – their Italian adventure with Colin. Colin wants to settle down at some point, and wants what they have. I guess they are the unicorn that’s an actual happy family.

In her interview, Brooke says her dad cheated on her mom for years. It’s absolutely paramount for her partner to be faithful. Good luck with that, especially choosing dudes like João (which sounds way too much like J-Wow).

The crew gets the boat ready, then get themselves ready to meet the guests. Jamie says, last time, and Adam says, knock it out, because we needed one more baseball reference, but he was too tired to finish the sentence. Then I get really confused because they show a clip from what’s coming up, but just slide into it like it’s the next scene, without explanation. I’m like, where’s the tour, and how did we get here?

The guests board. Adam says the age difference between the primary and his girlfriend is like Hannah and Conrad. Cradle robbing. Um… not exactly. Clint is an old dude, but Trish is no spring chicken. Hannah gives the tour, and tells them that they have perfect weather arranged. Adam doesn’t know if it’s the season coming close, or because she and Conrad broke up, but Hannah is doing a great job. With Conrad out of the picture, suddenly the service is through the roof. Dolphins frolic around the boat. Bluebirds fly around with ribbons in their mouths. Okay. I made that last one up.

Adam doesn’t need a mutiny, so he’s plating lunch for the crew. João says Adam must feel bad about starving them, and Colin says he’s sucking up to them. The boat heads for Capri. Brooke and João make out in the galley, and Jamie gets the hell out of there. She thinks their PDA is tasteless. Colin says it’s never good when the girl you have a crush on is kissing someone else in front of you.

Lunch is served. The tender is lowered to take the guests to the grotto. No not that grotto. Brooke says there’s a weird dynamic between the daughters and the stepmom figure. She can relate. Her dad’s wife is young and awful. Adam likes cooking Mexican food. It makes him feel almost like he’s home in California.

Hannah thinks she’s going directly home. Brooke thinks she should go to Prague on her own. Hannah says it’s embarrassing. In her interview, Hannah finds it ironic that Brooke and João are going to Florence, and she and Conrad have canceled. She’s pissed about having to change her flights, and calls Conrad a p*ssy.

The guests set off for the grotto. Jamie accompanies them. Jamie says she’s come through a lot, and bounced back. Now is her time to shine. She tells the guests about how she changed her career from stew to deckhand. The toys go into the water. In her interview, Captain Sandy says Conrad is at his best. He’s on the ball, and being a bosun. This is the Conrad she wants. The guests go in a rowboat inside the grotto, and it’s breathtaking. Jamie calls it one of the natural wonders of the world. She says this is why she loves her job. The water is bluer than blue, and one of the guests says it’s like Disney World.

Brooke asks Kasey – who I can’t believe she’s so friendly with – if there’s been a change in Hannah. Kasey thinks she’s being more helpful. Brooke thinks it’s because of what she said to Hannah, but come on, is she really that dense? Oh, wait. João. I just answered my own question. The tender returns with happy guests, and it’s time to play with the water toys. Captain Sandy says she and Hannah have found their footing. It was a bumpy ride, but they’re on the other side. A guest crashes into the boat with a jet ski.

João can’t believe it’s the last charter, and asks Kasey how much she’ll miss him on a scale of one to ten. She says, a solid nine. He asks what happened to the last point, and it’s because they’re not together. He says she’s a full ten for him. Brooke hears all this, but at this point, it’s hard for me to feel sorry for her. Kasey serves drinks to guests in the hot tub. Hannah asks if Kasey can stay on service; she needs to book her new flight. Colin tells the other guys that one of his moves is to take a sunset picture, and send it to a chick, saying, thinking about you. Now everyone knows.

The crew dinner is served, and the singers arrive. The table is decorated in autumn flowers and colors. The guests go in for dinner, and the band strikes up. They dance. Brooke bounces as she puts out the napkins or whatever. Adam is making an Italian themed dinner at the guests’ request. At this point, he’s okay with being told what to do. He’s braindead. The captain comes through the galley and tells him the sauce smears on the plates look like poopy skid marks.

Whatever it is, the guests like it. One of the daughters tells Brooke about how they want to get tattoos honoring their late mother. Trish is like, ugh. The dinner is quiet, and she says she didn’t realize how boring they all were. Brooke tells Hannah that she’s like the evil stepmom they hate. Hannah says on the preference sheet, Trish wrote that she likes hanging out with family, and all the perks that come with it. At the table, Trish asks why they’re so quiet. Pork loin is served, and it looks damn good. Colin goofs around with Brooke. In his interview, he wants to tell her how he feels, and regrets not being more forward with her.

The guests wrap it up for the night, shocking the crew, since it’s only half past ten. Colin tells Hannah that he heard the trip was canceled. Hannah says Conrad canceled the trip, but she’s paying for it. She says, thanks for bringing it up.

Brooke asks if Colin enjoyed the trip. He says he did, but there are pros and cons to everything. He babbles incoherently for a minute, before finally telling her, since first week he’s had a thing for her. He loves joking and hanging out with her. She asks why he didn’t tell her, as I scream, dump João! at the TV. Colin says he’s not trying to get in the middle. She says she loves him as a person, which means he’s relegated to the friendzone. Maybe if he’d mentioned it weeks ago… In her interview, she says part of her wishes she could see him as more than a friend. He melts her heart, but not in a romantic way. They hug, and he says, well, he tried. He feels better knowing she knows. In the back of his head, he was hoping he might change her mind, but who knows down the road? Indeed.

Hannah is frustrated, since the flight changes are costing her money for something that’s not her choice. She mumbles something about it to Conrad, who can’t get off the bridge fast enough. She thinks he should at least pretend be a gentleman, and offer to pay half flight changes. Even though she wouldn’t accept it. Conrad tells Adam that Hannah is trying to put everything on him. In his interview, Adam says they’re both wrong – for dating in the first place. He tells Conrad he’ll put in $200 if they stop bothering him.

João asks Kasey if she thinks he and Brooke won’t make it as soon as Florence is over. She says nobody in the crew thinks so. In his interview, João says, if the crew thinks that, maybe he’s meant to be with someone else. These two are such creeps. João doesn’t regret it, but how long before it doesn’t work out? Kasey asks who kissed who first, and he says he kissed Brooke. He asks if Brooke said otherwise, but Kasey says she’s never mentioned it. Kasey says that she and João were flirty. João says, if… Kasey tells him that he already started saying it, and she has said it. She asks if she hadn’t gotten up at the dock party, if it wouldn’t have happened with Brooke. He says she’s a million percent right. Bleh.

Next time, the finale – a guest overdrinks (I mean, like, really), bets are taken about João and Brooke, Hannah tells Brooke to eff off, and Conrad wisely hides.

The Real Housewives of New York City – The Reunion – Part Two

We left off with Dorinda was being discussed. She says she started going to therapy every other week, since she didn’t like who she was becoming. She also talked a lot to her mom. We see a clip from the trip to Columbia, where Dorinda jumped all over LuAnn. Andy says Dorinda knows she sometimes turns when she drinks, and Dorinda insists she wasn’t drunk. Bethenny says Sonja said she was, and Sonja confirms that. Bethenny says Dorinda is lying, and we see more of the scene. Dorinda says it was a loaded question. Andy asks Ramona if LuAnn meant it in a bad way, and Ramona asks who is LuAnn to judge when she went to rehab? Bethenny says they weren’t normal circumstances. A viewer asks if Dorinda thinks she should be sober, and Dorinda says LuAnn didn’t go to rehab because of a revelation; she went to stay out of jail. If Dorinda chooses to be sober, it’s because she chooses to. Next question. Andy says LuAnn never apologized to Dorinda, and asks if they agree she should. Bethenny thinks they could be more sensitive to someone who just got out of rehab. Dorinda says she has to apologize more than anyone. Sonja says, but she was drunk. Carole says Sonja should be the last person to talk. Dorinda tells Sonja to shut up. Andy brings up Dorinda saying she wanted to be a soft place for LuAnn. Dorinda says she loves LuAnn more than what happened.

Andy asks who agrees that LuAnn messed up by inviting Scott to the cabaret at the last minute. Bethenny says LuAnn clarified that, but Tinsley thinks she just made it up to cover her ass. Ramona says Dorinda said she’d address later, then Bethenny brought it up. Bethenny says Carole told her to say something, and Dorinda was yelling Jovani! Andy says it felt like Dorinda was heckling LuAnn, and Tinsley joined in. Ramona thinks it was mean-spirited.

A viewer gets that they like to have a drink or three, but who is legitimately concerned about amount Dorinda drinks or how she gets when she drinks? Dorinda says she apologized ten times. She says, at some point, it’s healthy to take a pause, but she believes it always comes back.

Tinsley and Scott’s long-distance relationship is on the table next. Andy says Scott swept Tinsley off her feet. We flash back to the break-up, and then Scott showing up; wedding dress shopping; and the Tinsley and her mother getting emotional over the picture of her eggs. Tinsley wishes he was there more, and Andy asks why they keep breaking up? Tinsley says it would be easier if was something specific, but she thinks the distance is difficult, as well as Scott being busy with his job. He thinks he can’t give his attention to both. Andy asks if they see other people. Tinsley says he does, and she has too. She has to be an adult about it, and many times she hasn’t been. She’s not losing him because he went on a couple of dates, and has to just move forward. A viewer asks, why so emotional over her eggs? and she says, it was the perfect storm. She was in a wedding dress, with her mother, and they’re the closest thing to baby she has. Andy asks if Dale freaks Scott out, and Tinsley says she’s keeping them apart until she has a ring. Sonja says Dale wants to be a grandmother. Tinsley says, it’s going to be soonish. Andy asks if she wants Scott or a husband? and she says she loves Scott.

Andy says this is the point where they’d planned on celebrating LuAnn, and how far she’s come, but it’s clear they’ve yet to reach the end of her story. He invites us to look back at her journey, and we see clips of her throughout the season: telling the girls about her divorce, her arrest, Ramona trying to get an invite to Tom’s party, and her cabaret. We see an interview clip where she says she was at rock bottom, but pulled herself together. They wish she was here. Andy asks Bethenny if she’s been speaking to LuAnn. Bethenny says she connected LuAnn with Dennis, because her legal situation got complicated. I feel a weird pang, knowing he’s gone now. Bethenny says there was a recent situation with her family, and it didn’t help. There’s a lawsuit regarding the kids’ trust fund they were to get when she sold the house. Bethenny thinks it might have been the catalyst that pushed her over the edge.

Andy asks if LuAnn came into the season with her tail between her legs, but Carole says it’s more like she wanted to move on. Andy says it’s surprising that LuAnn told Bethenny she was right, and Bethenny agrees. She thinks it was a turning point in LuAnn’s trusting her. Ramona says she told LuAnn things in Mexico about Tom the night she fell in the bushes. Or as I like to call it, the gift that keeps on giving. Andy asks if all the tequila was because of what Ramona told her, and if they all suspected? Ramona talks about various places she knows LuAnn was drinking. Bethenny says LuAnn didn’t come to the rehab decision entirely on her own. A few people thought it was the right thing to do. Andy asks if they heard when she fell off the wagon, and what do they think happened? She seemed clear. Sonja says she wasn’t drinking at the cabaret. Dorinda thinks she was hiding it well. Sonja believes she’ll get back on track. Andy says he was struck by Bethenny and LuAnn’s conversation after Bobby’s funeral, and how genuine it was. Bethenny says LuAnn wants to be loved. Everyone thinks she’s tough. Dorinda thinks LuAnn’s happiest times were when she was married to the Count and raising a family. Bethenny thinks she’s like a sweet little kid, and everything together was a recipe for relapse.

Andy wonders how Ramona could think it was okay to  hint around for an invitation to Tom’s party? Wouldn’t she be upset if one of the women reached out to Mario? Ramona says she kept running into Tom. Andy says she was badmouthing him for a while. Why did she feel the need to go? She says her friend did. She should have said she didn’t feel comfortable with it. He told her she couldn’t come anyway. Sonja says she was invited, but didn’t respond.

Andy says the show is a huge success. It’s been in San Francisco and LA, as well as NYC. He asks if the success is affecting LuAnn. Bethenny says, she’s feeling herself, and Dorinda says, she’s losing people. They can’t deal with her ego; she’s confused fame and infamy. Dorinda says her mother always told her, humility should prevail, not ego. Bethenny thinks there’s a lot going on. It got larger than life, and needs to be leveled. Andy asks what she believes to be the catalyst, and Bethenny says the family suing her. She would never take from her children; she wanted to be there for them. Dorinda suggests an extra reunion for LuAnn, and I think that’s a great idea. Andy knows she’ll be back.

The Bethenny and Carole feud is next. Andy says, ride or die turned into fight and cry. We flash back to their various altercations, ending with Carole saying they’ll find their sweet spot again. Andy says they haven’t found it, and Carole says, yet. Andy asks how it happened. Bethenny says they didn’t see each other much over the summer. There was a shift (the word of the season), and she thought it would go away. They were on different pages in their lives. Bethenny talks about dropping Carole off and picking her up in Montauk, and how Carole didn’t invite her in. Carole says she didn’t want to foist new people on Bethenny, since she had enough going on already. Bethenny says she felt left out. Carole tells Bethenny that she tried to help her with Puerto Rico. As a friend, she’s had Bethenny’s back. If someone else talked about her, Carole would always say, maybe she’s having a bad day, adding she loves Bethenny. Carole brings up Bethenny recounting the Adam story, and Bethenny says she thought they’d broken up. When she realized they were still friends, she retreated. Andy thinks there was a lot of miscommunication, Carole says she thinks Bethenny didn’t want it to go back to normal. She thought they had a good talk after the holidays. Beth says Carole claimed she didn’t have high hopes, but Carole says what she said was that she was proceeding with caution. They start talking about the texting thing, with Carole putting on her glasses, and reading them from her phone. Bethenny pulls out papers, and they go back and forth for what seems like forever.

Carole says she told Bethenny that she didn’t think it was a conversation to be had by texting, but Bethenny kept going on and on. Bethenny says, other than saying Carole didn’t have a career, she didn’t talk bad about her the whole season. Carole disagrees, and Andy thinks they both said negative things about each other. We see clips of that. Carole accuses Bethenny of lying, and says she’s a bully. Bethenny asks for an example. Carole says it started with Bethenny talking about her and Tinsley. She can’t remember all the insults and passive aggressive stuff. Andy helps stir the pot by saying Bethenny said she was a clingy girlfriend. Carole says, she creates a false narrative when a narrative is unavailable. Carole says Bethenny claimed she wasn’t interested in Puerto Rico, and only cares about herself. She called Carole a puppet – Bethenny interjects that Ramona said that – and said she was childless and jobless. Carole says if her husband hadn’t died, she would have a kid. She says it started in the Berkshires, when Bethenny age-shamed her. We see a clip of Bethenny saying Carole wants to be forty-five, but acts like she’s seven. Carole says she’s never once lied about her age. Bethenny tells Carole that she meant Carole should embrace her age, rather than be someone she’s not. Carole says she wouldn’t say half of the things Bethenny does to an enemy. All she’s ever said about Bethenny, is that she’s proud of her. Bethenny says Carole has called her a narcissist twice, said she gave a performance about the nutcracker, and said she’s a sociopath.

Andy jumps in the pot, saying that reading Carole’s blog, it seems like things are worse than she’s saying. He reads, in Bethenny’s myopic world, she’s judge, jury, and executioner. She’s incapable of having a conversation unless she’s in control of the narrative – everyone’s narrative. She could give a master class in gaslighting. Bethenny asks Carole when she got her medical degree. Dorinda says Bethenny called her a drunk, Sonja a loser, and Tinsley crazy. Carole asks, is this what she calls female empowerment? Bethenny says Carole talked about her doing B-movies (I fail to see how this as an insult, but okay), and Carole says that’s not shaming; it’s the truth. They talk at the same time, which I hate because then you can’t understand either one of them. Carole says she can match her resume to Bethenny’s, and Bethenny says, the current decade. Carole wonders if bashing is her idea of female empowerment. Bethenny says Carole constantly bashes her on her blog. Carole says Bethenny bashed her on the show. Andy says they bashed each other. Carole gets pissed at Andy, and asks if he’s afraid of her too.

The episode was dedicated to Dennis Shields – 1962-2018.

Next time – The Reunion – Part 3 – Bethenny gets in Carole’s face – like really, she gets up and gets in her face, the boat trip is relived, and Tinsley joins the fray.

🍲 On MasterChef the cooks made dinner for fire fighters on a farm where they fought 281,000 acres burning during a wildfire. The fire was so huge, it was seen from space. For the team challenge, Cesar was the blue captain, and Bowen the red. Bowen’s strategy was to kick Cesar’s ass, which was pretty vague. The protein choices were rack of lamb and sea bass, which we learned is cooked properly when it turns bright white. The teams were already chosen by the judges, and a coin toss determined which captain would have a choice between picking the protein or team they wanted. Bowen won, and chose the protein – sea bass. Cesar explains that the hardest part of cooking lamb is rendering the fat. In a test piece, the lamb is raw (bleh. I’m not a fan of lamb to begin with), and they ended up using the quicker, but more inferior according to Cesar, method of cutting the fat off. Apparently, it was worth it, since the blue team won.

The pressure test was making three different kinds of pasta. Joe called the pasta by Italian names, and my translation was, ribbons, ravioli, and narrow tubes. They had sixty minutes, which seemed highly unreasonable to me, especially since there were also three different sauces. Hard to believe, but my first “real” job was being a short-order cook in an Italian restaurant. During slow times we did things like make pasta. We also ate – a lot. I copied down their meatball recipe before I left. But I digress. Joe gave a demonstration. When testing her pasta, he told Shanika that it was like a fossil, which sounds pretty bad. In the end, she didn’t make enough, and Joe said, it wasn’t the dish. Gordon told her, it was a bad finish. She didn’t have enough time to make the burnt butter for one of the dishes, and Joe said it tasted like movie theatre popcorn. I can’t even imagine. Aaron told Ashley that her pasta wasn’t talking to him like a pasta should. I have no idea what that means. Bowen never ate pasta before. How is that even possible? Joe said it was so thin, it was disintegrating, and like eating a tissue. Eww! Samantha was the winner, and said she cooked for her life – and then some. Ashley had enough compelling elements to stick around.

Shanika was out. Joe saying it was unfortunate that pasta took down a lioness like her. Her money was on Bowen getting focused and winning. She was super proud of what she’d done. She never had any lessons in cooking, and taught herself. She was pushed and tested beyond her imagination, and it ignited a fire in her. You go, girl!

Did I mention the quarter million-dollar prize? The Mystery box contained discarded ingredients. Things like chicken carcasses, carrot tops, chicken livers, and vegetable scraps. Aaron told us there are 1.3 billion tons of food thrown in the trash every year, and a movement is on the rise to reduce food waste. Food waste is a pet peeve of mine, and I thanked God our supermarket had “ugly” (cheap) produce when we were more broke than we are now. The cooks could only use the staple pantry for this challenge. The special guest cooking with them was Gordon, and they had forty-five minutes to turn trash into a MasterChef worthy dish.

Gordon couldn’t help but show off, and made three dishes, including a chicken liver mousse. Samantha made bone broth; Ashley created a pasta dish; and Cesar cooked a chicken liver mushroom thing that looked very tasty. It turned out in his broke days, Cesar’s dad was a dumpster diver. Cesar was the winner this time. For the pressure test, again the cooks could only use the staple box, and were required to turn farm fresh ingredients into the best dish of their lives. Cesar received an added bonus of getting to save one other person, and he chose my dude Gerron. He said they had the same food/culture mission, and he thought it would be a good battle. An admirable reason. Once again, I’m surprised Julia exists, she’s so under-the-radar. She did not do well, and ironically, was told her dish was bland. Ashley had great finesse, and the perfect medium rare steak, but Aaron said Farhan’s beet puree was so off-putting, it ruined the dish. Julia and Farhan were on the chopping block, both from Chicago, and both having Aaron as a mentor. They did that switcharoo thing I hate, where Gordon told Farhan to undo his apron strings – and then do them tighter, because he squeaked by. Julia was out, but Gordon told her to continue the journey. Aaron told her to keep her head held high, and go kick ass in Chicago. She said she’d had an amazing journey, and found her voice, even if I failed to notice it. She won five out of five challenges, and said she’s going to be around a long time.

Next time, another two-hour show, the top six take over a world-class restaurant in a challenge that’s all heart.

🐹 Because this week, I’m like a hamster on a wheel, and I want to do justice to my shows – or at least a respectable job of editing – The Real Housewives of Dallas will be in tomorrow’s blog.

🌀 The Blue Grotto…


August 22, 2018 – Julian Sneaks Around, NYC Reunion Begins, Black Forest Dreams, Chef Links, Dallas Later, Background for Medicine & Dress-Up


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Curtis asks if Drew isn’t attracted to a smart, funny, successful woman. Drew says it’s not that; he thinks Margaux has an agenda. Curtis says he didn’t find anything. She might as well be called No Drama Dawson. Drew thinks there’s more to Margaux than they’re seeing. Curtis says he guesses Drew would know, and shows him the picture from The Invader.

Margaux looks at the same picture at the bar, and asks Peter how he feels about lawsuits. He says he’s not a fan. She can’t believe he’s still walking free. She wants to find the publisher of this rag, and he says she’s looking at him.

At the MetroCourt, Nina and Maxie are having a meeting. Lulu stops by, and asks Nina if they’re still meeting about Charlotte’s schedule, and Nina says they’re still on. Lulu says she might not be in Valentin’s life anymore, she’ll always be in Charlotte’s. Nina thanks Lulu for including her.

Brad and Lucas come to the hospital with the baby. Kim asks how the two fathers are, and Lucas says Wiley might not be theirs much longer.

Alexis tells Diane that she knew this could happen, but hoped it wouldn’t. Diane thought the path was clear, but shame on her. The window exists for a reason. Alexis asks if Diane knows why the birth mother would reconsider after all this time. Julian opens the door a crack so he can hear better.

Michael goes to Sonny’s place and looks at family photos. Sonny walks in, and asks how it was. Michael says, quiet and peaceful. He stayed longer than he meant to. He didn’t know how to leave. Sonny says there’s a terrible moment when you bury someone you love. The grave is covered, the prayers have been said, you said everything you can say. You want to walk away, but can’t. It’s over. He tells Michael that he’s going to get on with his life. The life waiting for him, but not with them. You miss them, remember them, and imagine what it would be like with them, but it’s just a game in your head. You’re trying to hide from the grief, but the longer you keep playing that game, the worse it’s going to get.

Diane tells Alexis it won’t make things less difficult. The odds of Brad and Lucas keeping the baby are slim to none. There are no red flags with the birth mother, and no reason to question her fitness. Alexis tells her to say Brad and Lucas love their son is an understatement. Diane asks if she’s prepared them, and Alexis says they understand it’s likely they’ll lose. Diane says her paralegal was supposed to bring her a file. She looks out in the hallway, and Julian ducks around a corner. Alexis really wishes they weren’t going through this proceeding, and Diane says, you and me both.

Drew tells Curtis that Margaux asked him to help her bring down Sonny. Curtis asks what he said, and Drew says he accused her of flirting with him to get him to flip on Sonny, but it’s not happening. Curtis asks if that’s when she laid one on him. Drew says she insisted she was genuinely interested in him. There’s something going on with that woman, and he’s going to find out what.

Margaux says Peter is the publisher of The Invader? He says, the one and only. She says he certainly rose from the ashes. He thanks her, but she says it’s not a compliment. He asks why she’s so angry, and she says he turned something he knows nothing about into a news story. Congratulations on his breathtaking lack of scruples. His father would be proud.

Lulu tells Maxie and Nina that Peter is there, and he offered her a job. Maxie asks if he’s making the rounds. Lulu says, her too? Nina asks if she took it, but Lulu says, no way. She works for s legitimate publication that has staff meetings. She goes over to Peter, and tells him to cancel dinner on Friday. She won’t be joining him. She doesn’t deal in fake news. Maxie asks Nina what’s wrong with Peter that he’s poaching employees from his old company? It’s tacky. She sees Nina isn’t paying attention, and says, earth to Nina; what’s going on? Nina says she was remembering what day it was. Valentin comes in, and asks to speak to Nina. Maxie says they’re in the middle of a working lunch, but Nina says, it’s okay. They have unfinished business to attend to.

Drew says Margaux showed interest too quickly. Curtis says he doesn’t see it, but maybe she finds him irresistible. Drew tells him that she said since he has Jason’s memories, he knows where the bodies are buried. Curtis says she kissed him anyway. Does he like her, or did he before? What if he’s wrong? What if she’s digging him, and he missed out because he’s too damn stubborn?

Margaux says apparently she’s not the only one who questions Peter’s journalistic integrity. He says there’s nothing wrong with printing a picture of a public servant. She’s not off limits; neither is Drew. If she wants less coverage, she should control her impulses. She asks if he’s trying to piss her off. He says, no, and actually thinks they like each other.

Valentin asks to speak to Nina privately, but Nina says whatever he’s got to say, he can say in front of Maxie. He asks if she knows what day it is, and Maxie wonders what’s up with the day? Nina says Valentin had thirty days to change her mind, and they’re up. Maxie says she’s still going through with the divorce, right?

Kim tells Brad and Lucas that she’s sorry. Lucas says the birth mother changed her mind once; they’re hoping she changes it again. It’s possible. Brad says they already love him so much.

Diane feels for Brad and Lucas, but tells Alexis it could be worse. She just came from the funeral for Michael’s baby. Alexis says at least they have the comfort of knowing the baby is alive and well. Diane says either her paralegal was held up or took a long lunch. She’ll collect the file herself. Alexis says she’s very hands-on. Diane tells her, never let it be said that Diane Miller is spoiled. Alexis says, except when Max is feeding her grapes during her mani/pedi.

When they’re gone, Julian pops out, and goes into the office.

Curtis doesn’t want Drew to miss out on something special because he was burned in the past. He suggests he bring her to the reception. He gave Drew a plus one; he might as well use it. He can show Margaux his fancy Macarena dance moves. Drew says he’s just trying to be realistic, but Curtis says sometimes you have to let go and enjoy yourself. Maybe he should stop looking for what’s wrong, and see something right. He doesn’t care what they say, there’s hope for him. Drew says he knows what he’s doing. Curtis says, if you say so. Drew asks if they’re really going to play the Macarena, and Curtis tells him it was hypothetical. Curtis leaves, and Lulu approaches Drew. She says sorry for stalking him, but she needs his help facing the job market.

Peter thinks Margaux could help him; she knows about the juicy stories. If she accommodates him, he’ll do the same. She says, in his dreams. He tells her, there’s no expiration date on the offer. If she changes her mind, she knows where to find him.

Valentin tells Nina it’s torture living without her, and Charlotte misses her. Maxie tells him not to use his daughter as emotional blackmail. He says they can make it work, better than it was before. Maxie asks if she’s falling for this, and Nina says, sorry. There’s nothing he can do to make up for what he did to Peter. He used an innocent child as a pawn; she can’t get over it. She’s filing for divorce, and he said her wouldn’t fight her. Valentin says he won’t, and she thanks him. She has to go. Maxie asks where she’s going, but Nina doesn’t answer and jets to the elevator like she’s on fire. Maxie says poor Valentin; he didn’t get what he wanted. Valentin says Maxie did. She can’t bring herself blame Peter for Nathan’s death, so she’s punishing him. He admits he played his part. Nina understands his situational ethics; he practices doing what’s necessary to get what he wants. He doesn’t regret a moment spent with her. She knows that he loves her, complete with her complexities, contradictions, and eccentricities. He doesn’t want her money or to control her. He loves her, even flawed. He tells Maxie to punish him, but stop using Nina to do it.

Brad asks Alexis is she’s gotten any ne information. She tells them that Diane is the biological mother’s attorney. Brad says he thought she was sympathetic to them, and Alexis says, she is, but she was there to represent her client. Lucas says, even though the birth mother vetted and selected them, now she wants the child back. It doesn’t matter.

Julian take pics of the adoption file in Diane’s office.

Sonny tells Michael that he’s dealt with grief alone many times, inside himself. Sometimes physically locking the doors and covering the windows; sometime shutting down and focusing on work, so he didn’t have to think about what’s missing or the empty space left behind. Michael says, Jonah didn’t leave anything behind. He sees a picture of Morgan, and thinks of his room, and the memories he has. He can close his eyes and see him; hear his voice. He never even heard Jonah cry. Jonah never touched anything he got for him. That’s why it was easier than he thought to give his stuff away. There’s no way to compare the two. Sonny tells him not to. He loved them both, and lost them both. That’s the hell of it.

Peter is looking at other publications on his tablet, and Maxie asks him if he’s nostalgic for real news. He says he’s checking the competition. He asks how James is, and Maxie tells him not to pretend they’re friends. He says he finds no shame in giving the public what it wants. She asks if that includes poaching employees. He says it clearly bothers her that he offered Lulu a job. He didn’t think they were friends anymore. Like the two of them.

Lulu tells Drew that she’s been demoted. She’s been bumped to puff pieces in favor of a Pulitzer prize winner who came along. Drew admits it’s a good move. Lulu says it’s great, but in the meantime, all the huge stories she wrote don’t exist. Stacy appreciate her work, and said she was grateful for the stories she’s covered about people she knew personally, but she has to come up with something new. Drew says that’s the reason he hired them. If Stacy thinks it’s best for the paper, his advice is to keep it up. Keep doing what she’s doing in the event an opportunity presents itself. She asks if he realizes patience is not a Spencer thing. He wishes he could help. She thanks him for hearing her, and leaves.

Margaux asks if Drew has seen any good headlines, and he says nothing that caught his eye. She says if she’d realized the kiss would be in the news, she would have thought twice about it. He hopes it didn’t damage her reputation. She thinks it’s intact, and asks about his. He thinks he can use it, and she says it’s a win-win. She offers to make it up to him for being a jerk, and asks if he’s hungry.

At the hospital, Julian tells Kim there’s a lot going on. She says she saw Lucas and Brad, and they told her about the birth mother. It breaks her heart. Julian doesn’t understand how she can just take him back. What kind of person does that? Kim says, a mother.

Nina goes to Diane’s office. Diane has the papers drawn up, and asks if Nina has decided what she wants to do. If she’s changed her mind, Diane can make it go away. Nina says she has to divorce her husband

Valentin thanks Curtis for coming. He has a job for him. Curtis says Nina is one of his favorite people, and he feels the opposite about Valentin. Why would he do Valentin a favor? Valentin says it’s not a favor for him. The only person who stands to benefit is Nina.

Michael says he read something that said all grief is unique, yet all grief is the same. Sonny says, the difference is how you deal with it. He’ll realize eventually the only way out is through. He tells Michael not to make the same mistake he did. He has a lot of people who love him and want to help him; let them help. Michael says he just did that, and they hug. Sonny says he’ll be all right.

Brad says Wiley left his binkie in the car, and goes to get it. Alexis asks Lucas if Brad is all right. She needs them both to be focused, and stay strong. They need to present a more stable home.

Kim tells Julian the bond between mother and child is indescribable. He wonders why the birth mother didn’t balk after she gave birth. Kim says she probably doesn’t know what’s happening; she just knows she’s not with him. Maybe she decided she couldn’t go through with it. She’s sorry it’s hurting them so much. He appreciates her perspective, and her listening to him. She tells him to stick around. She leaves, and he gets a call from Brad, who’s freaking out. He asks if Julian has made any headway. How can they make sure no one finds out Wiley is another woman’s son? Julian says he’s on it. He has a plan, and will fill Brad in later. He tells Brad to sit tight. He looks at the photos he took.

Margaux tells Drew that she ran into Peter, and told him what she thought of his brand of journalism. His photographer isn’t bad though. He managed to get her good side. Drew’s, not so much. She asks if she’s boring him already, and he says he’s just trying to figure her out. She didn’t realize she was complicated. He says she came on a bit strong, and she asks if she was obnoxious. He says, direct. He’s wondering what else is going on in there. She says she hates to disappoint him, but what you see is what you get. He doubts that.

Maxie tells Peter that she and Lulu are in a decent place. He’s happy to hear that. Lulu is a lucky woman. Lulu appears, and asks if Peter has a minute. She says it’s kind of awkward, but Maxie will hear it soon enough. She asks if the chief investigative reporter position is still on the table.

Diane asks if Nina is sure. Nina says Valentin changed her office into a Moroccan holiday, bought ads to profess his love in the magazine, and bought Charlotte a horse so they could ride together. They were gestures. Diane says they had an effect. Nina says he lied so much, and condemned a small child to a lifetime of hell. No amount of love can overcome that. Diane says she still loves him, and Nina says, not enough. Diane asks if she can make an observation. Nina has told her some wonderful things he’s done, she’s shaking a little, and still hasn’t picked up the pen. She’s allowed to have reservations. She doesn’t have to go through with it. Diane can bill her for the meeting, and put it in a file; she can decide later. There’s no penalty for not signing. As someone who’s had a ringside seat for these things, there’s a special pain when you divorce someone you love. The breaking apart of two lives causes wear and tear on the heart. She tells Nina to be super certain it’s what she wants to do before she dives in. Nina signs, disappointing both Diane and I.

Curtis says he’s all about making Nina happy, but he doesn’t think they hold the same ticket. Valentin says he can find the one thing that will make her happier than anything. Curtis says, unless he found a new procedure to let her get pregnant… Valentin says he found her child. He doesn’t have a location or ID, but he knows she exists. Nina has a daughter. Curtis says she miscarried. Valentin says that’s what her mother wants her to believe, but she delivered. Curtis asks who told him, and he says, her mother. He had to drag it out of her, but she admitted it, and he believes it. The child doesn’t know she has a mother, and vice versa. Curtis can make that happen.

Margaux tells Drew about prosecuting someone she went out with in middle school. She thought it would be a conflict of interest, even though they only went together for all of seven hours. Her boss told her the discussion was a waste of time, and the case was a waste of court time. In the end, he caved, and took a plea deal of five years. Drew asks if she had no qualms about putting her first love in prison. She says it was her first conviction. He’ll always have a special place in her heart. She’s a DA first; everything else she does is second, although she’s passionate about baseball. He asks, what else? and she says, him first. What inspires his passion?

Peter tells Lulu the job is hers if she wants it. Lulu says, no hard feelings? and he says, none. Maxie says she can’t be serious. Lulu says circumstances changed. She realized a great opportunity. Chief investigative reporter would take her years anywhere else. Maxie says she’ll have to be with him all the time. She says she won’t; she’ll be gone on assignment. Peter says they’ll hardly see each other. Lulu says she’s doing this. She’s in.

Lucas asks Brad where the binkie is, and he says he just needed air. Alexis asks if he feels any better, and he says, for the first time since this went down, he feels hopeful that Wiley is going to stay with them. Lucas says, from his lips. They hug, and Alexis looks worried.

Julian is looking at his phone when Kim comes back. She says she needs to take a raincheck for lunch; a patient is in labor. She’s sorry about what Brad and Lucas are going through – and him. They can’t control the fate of their children. Sometimes all they can do is hope. She leaves, and he looks at the form on his phone again. He sees a phone number and calls it. He says, you don’t know me, but I think we should meet.

Tomorrow, Finn says now they’re all at risk, David asks what Kiki is waiting for, and Ryan says there’s a dangerous man loose in Port Charles.

The Real Housewives of New York City – The Reunion – Part One

Carole says reunions are group therapy and torture. Ramona says she’s calm, but things can change quickly. Bethenny says she’s like the mother of dragons, fighting multiple blondes. I gasp when I see Bethenny’s dress. She looks like a princess. All of the dresses are beautiful, although I’m not quite as crazy about Carole’s. I’m just not into her style.

Andy welcomes us to the season ten reunion, where they’re putting a bow on a gift of a season. Sonja is wearing one of her own dresses, and I have to mention, she has very pretty things for sale at very reasonable prices. No surprise, Dorinda is wearing Jovani. Just so she can say it again. LuAnn couldn’t be there, since she’s back in rehab – which sux – but Andy says they still have an incredible season to talk about.

Bethenny says her apartment exceeded expectations, and it’s like a home in the city. Avery moved out, so Ramona has listed her apartment for sale. Andy asks Carole the latest about her and Adam. He says at the end it was confusing; Adam was sending her tulips. Carole says they’re friends, but don’t get coffee. Tinsley got a haircut. She was worried it would make her feel older and fatter, but she feels younger and thinner. Yes, Tinsley, when you hit a certain age, long hair just makes you look like you’re trying to look younger. Unless you’re Crystal Gayle. Dorinda has been working out. She thought if Carole could do a marathon, she could get her lazy ass up, and she got a trainer. Sonja tells us that she’s a pescatarian, someone who doesn’t eat meat, but eats fish.

We look back over the fashion during the season. Ugh! Dorinda’s Lady Gaga bubble dress. That so did not work for me. And LuAnn’s Diana Ross wig. Ha-ha-ha! Andy asks about it. Bethenny says her dog had died that day, and she didn’t even notice. Carole says LuAnn is tone deaf when it comes to racial stereotypes. They agree she looked darker on TV. Andy asks about best and worst Halloween costume. Dorinda says hers was both – she lost all her bubbles by the end of the night. We find out Lady Gaga’s mother goes to Dorinda’s church.

We discuss Bethenny’s disaster relief. We see a clip of her getting an award, and clips from Puerto Rico. We flash back to Bobby’s funeral, and the Halloween party. The nutcracker incident is relived. Dorinda gets annoyed all over again. We see Ramona giving Bethenny the business, and her calling Bethenny out about not supporting women in the finale. Andy asks Bethenny about reconnecting with Jill. It was a surprise to Bethenny too. She says she knew she wouldn’t regret going, but would regret not going. It brought back memories, and Jill approached her afterward. Since then, they’ve been texting. Ramona thought it was bizarre that Bethenny asked them to film it. Andy says they were invited by Jill. Dorinda finds it morbid. Andy squashes that. He brings up Bobby not being able to fix things between them, and Bethenny tells him that everyone at the funeral said Bobby would never say no to Jill, but Jill told her he refused to fix their relationship. That was something she had to do for herself, but in the end, he did fix it, since it was at his funeral that they reconciled. We flash back to when their relationship deteriorated. Ramona says she thought it was opportunistic, and not genuine. Sonja says that’s not how Jill feels. Bethenny says it’s not about Ramona, and the important thing is Jill was happy. Dorinda asks if they’ve had lunch. Bethenny says, no, and Dorinda says, no cameras. Bethenny says Jill is making an effort, and she’s dipping her toe in the water. Ramona makes it about her. Andy says Jill has been dating a guy who used to date Ramona. There probably aren’t many guys Ramona hasn’t dated.

Andy asks what was it about Puerto Rico that spoke to Bethenny? She seemed immersed in it. She says seeing it moved her. She thanks all of them for donating. Love her or hate her, she’s grateful. This prompts Dorinda and Carole to start a big thing, saying they don’t hate her. Ramona says Bethenny doesn’t like to say anything positive, but if they say one negative thing, she gets mad. Bethenny says Ramona has only been nasty to her. We flash back to the Singer Stinger. Omg, I always forget what a nut she is. Ramona says Bethenny ends up alone because she’s a mean girl and a bully. Bethenny says she doesn’t want to talk to her. Andy wants to talk about the nutcracker.

Dorinda says Bethenny freaked out when it arrived, but she didn’t feel appreciated. She says she wished Bethenny had been more gracious. She and Carole insist Bethenny knew it was coming. Bethenny says Dorinda called when they were still in the Berkshires, and the guy said he had it. Everyone talks over Bethenny, and Andy wants to hear her effing answer. Bethenny says they were all in the text, and she has several texts and sent video of her daughter. Why is it about Dorinda and not her daughter? Dorinda says it’s called being gracious.

A viewer asks why Bethenny was condescending about Ramona’s skincare line. Bethenny says since the show began, Ramona has had at least ten business ventures that went nowhere. Currently, she’s still feverishly working on it. The products don’t exist. Bethenny claims Ramona criticizes Sonja for fake businesses, and Ramona says Bethenny was the one who did. I do remember that. We flash back to Bethenny saying Sonja’s businesses aren’t real, and they all start talking at once again, going you, you, you. Ramona can’t take Bethenny’s lies. Sonja accuses Ramona of stirring the pot from the beginning. Bethenny doesn’t think it’s ethical to make women think it’s that easy. She keeps saying she’s a maven of everything, and she’s not. Ramona says she put herself through college; not like Bethenny, who had a rich father. Andy asks the status of Ramona’s products, and she says, they’re in formulation. Uh-huh. She wants to know why Bethenny can’t support her? She’s a bitch to her, and should take a mirror. Whatever that means. Ramona says she supported Bethenny. Sonja tries to interject, and Ramona puts her hand over Sonja’s mouth. That’s so disrespectful, and I can’t believe no one said anything.

Ramona continues to babble, and tells Bethenny, don’t say she’s fake with her fake t*ts. We’re all like, huh? since Ramona clearly has been enhanced. Ramona says she did it at fifty-five, while Bethenny was thirty – like this matters. Andy asks why Ramona freaked on the phone call to Bethenny. She says Bethenny said she was enjoying Bethenny and Carole not being friends, and she felt terrible that they weren’t friends. Dorinda says Ramona wasn’t happy about it. Ramona says she doesn’t know what happened in Bethenny’s life, but doesn’t see things for what they are. Bethenny tells Ramona that she’s critical. If line is really happening, Bethenny is sorry she didn’t congratulate her.

Andy says refused to take Ramona on; why not acknowledge her? Bethenny says, it was LuAnn’s night. She didn’t want an altercation with Ramona. Carole asks, why not just say congratulations? Bethenny tells Carole to butt out, and she’ll call her when she needs her. Bethenny agrees her delivery isn’t the best. Andy says everyone weirdly winds up going to Bethenny when they’re going through big things. Ramona broke down about Mario in Turks and Caicos. Dorinda was crying to her about LuAnn on the island. We flash back to those times. Dorinda says when Bethenny is on, she’s on. She really shows an interest. Carole says she zeros in, and Dorinda says everyone has been supportive to her.

Dorinda is up next, and we flash back to her finest, and not so fine, moments. Dude, just refrain from drinking on camera and you’ll be okay, but when more than one person calls you a donkey, it’s time to check for the ears. Dorinda wants to be clear. She thinks LuAnn should apologize to her. Andy asks if Bethenny thinks Dorinda is a drunk or has a drinking problem. Dorinda says Bethenny doesn’t know her life, and suggests she be careful. Bethenny says she’s been through one intervention this week. Dorinda doesn’t believe Bethenny thinks she’s a drunk, but she was angry because Dorinda got drunk. She says what Bethenny said was hurtful, and she was blindsided. She was excited and super proud to be going to Puerto Rico. Andy rephrases, and asks if Bethenny thinks Dorinda has a drinking problem. Bethenny says she’s not qualified to make that call. Dorinda says Bethenny has no business labeling people. If she thought Dorinda was in trouble, she should have told Dorinda to stay home. Bethenny says she didn’t know how drunk Dorinda was. She had seen her manage to get through dinners before, and wasn’t focusing on her. Bethenny says she was the one who called attention to it in a constructive way. Carole says it’s not constructive to call someone a drunk on TV. Bethenny says it’s not constructive to call someone narcissistic, but it hasn’t stopped Carole from saying that about her multiple times. Carole says she calls it like she sees it. Bethenny says, so does she.

Andy says they’ve watched over a period of years, Dorinda getting to the point where she gets wound up. Sometimes it’s funny, like her toast to LuAnn on the boat – we watch it again – but thee are times like when she cut her hand. We see a clip of Dorinda telling Bethenny that she sliced her hand open with her cutlery – or when she says things she regrets the next day. We see a few of those. He asks if she thinks she has a relationship with alcohol that’s sometimes unhealthy. Dorinda says she even said at the time, she wasn’t in a good place. She was very unhappy last fall, and thinks she was depressed. She didn’t know her place, and felt heavy in all ways. She had to look at that, and what happened with Bethenny. Something had to give. Bethenny says, it didn’t. She saw Dorinda drinking in the morning. Dorinda says Bethenny does the same thing. Bethenny asks if she wants to compare histories. Ramona announces none of them are drunks. Dorinda thanks them for their inspiration and support. She’s in a good place now. Bethenny has bashed her in every interview that she could. Dorinda hasn’t said one mean thing. Bethenny disagrees. Andy asks if Dorinda doesn’t think she has a problem with alcohol, totally ignoring her having moved on from that topic.

Next time – Part Two – more on Dorinda’s drinking, some on LuAnn’s drinking, Tinsley’s relationship with Scott is discussed, Dorinda yells Jovani! Dorinda’s heckling is on the table, as well as Carole’s blog, and poop.

🍰 MasterChef traveled to one of oldest airbases, March Air Reserve Base, to celebrate their 100th anniversary. The contestants had to make one hundred plates to feed the troops, after dividing into two teams. Cesar was captain of the red team, and Emily, the blue. Gordon switched things up by having the team members pick their captain. Gordon yelled at Samantha about how she was cutting the asparagus, which ticked her off, since she’d already argued with Cesar about it. Emily got a lecture about incinerating pork chops. The air force parachuted in, invading the kitchen. Cesar’s team made steak, while Emily’s was pork chops. A raw pork chop was discovered, as well as a hair in the steak. A skydiver declared the winner by landing on a red or blue square. At first, we thought blue was the winner, until a second skydiver landed on red. Gordon said it was extraordinary. For the first time in the history of MasterChef, there was a tie. The judges made the final decision, and it was the red team by a narrow margin. Their presentation put them over the top. Gordon described the pressure test as an extremely technical multilayered culinary classic – black forest cake. It was foodgasm time, and the cake was to die for. Emily said baking was her wheelhouse. She had to decide between picking one person to go up against, and saving three others, or saving only herself. She said being safe was the best feeling in the world, but her thought her skills would keep her safe, and chose going head to head with Shanika. Emily put her cake in the glass chiller before its time, and it fell over. Since they were both Joe’s people, she was concerned about disappointing him. I loved how the judges looked at the cakes, like they were examining slides under a microscope. Emily’s ratio of cake to cream between the layers was off, but her addition of extra cocoa powder paid off in flavor. Shanika got the layers right, but Joe thought it tasted like chocolate pound cake. Gordon said it was probably the most difficult and stressful 75 minutes of their lives. The judges had little room to decide, and had to dissect each element. Emily was sent home, and Shanika said David beat Goliath. I’ll bet Emily was sorry about deciding to go for the challenge. Joe quoted Churchill, saying, success is not final, and failure is not fatal; it’s the courage to continue that counts. Emily said she comes from a small town, and to be in the MasterChef top ten was a dream experience. It added to passion for food, which will continue to grow.

The mystery box contained something different for each cook – peaches, lobster, clams, corn, butternut squash, potatoes, cranberries, venison, and duck – nine American ingredients that the country was built on. They had forty-five minutes, and could make any dish, as long as their ingredient was the star. They were also allowed to use THE PANTRY. The mentors spent time with the cooks, which we really haven’t seen much of before. Joe told Gerron that his peach whatever tasted like home, and his grandmother’s kitchen. I couldn’t think of a better compliment. I grew up eating what I called “Depression food.” My father made all kinds of soups and stews with ingredients kids today would never eat. My favorite was neck bone soup. It is so tasty, and I tried to make it myself once. It was good, but just not the same, and they hit the nail on the head – it needed to taste like home. Aaron pleaded with Farhan to lay off the coconut milk. Gerron’s peach dish was the winner, and I think my money is on him now. He was safe, and got to pick the teams for the tag team challenge, which was to make the perfect platter of Mediterranean food. I’m not crazy about feta cheese, but Trader Joe’s makes the best tomato/feta cheese soup. It’s like tasting a grilled cheese sandwich inside the soup. Just sayin’. Farhan said tag teams bring out the worst in people, and he was right. They had sixty minutes, and did not get to use THE PANTRY, but got a set amount of ingredients. Gerron was pleased with strategy, and thought his devious plan would work. Cesar and Bowen were safe right away, followed by Farhan and Ashley. Gordon said Shanika and Emily’s effort was unbalanced and fragmented, but they squeaked by. Taylor and Julia lacked direction and ownership, and the fundamental flaws in their dishes were unacceptable for being in the top nine. Only Taylor got the boot though, with Gordon saying Julia had done 85% of the work. He told Taylor to continue her food dream. Then it was the part where everyone cries while they wave goodbye, but you know they’re all glad it’s not them. Taylor was thankful for the opportunity, and grateful for Gordon’s mentoring. She was sad to go, but proud of who was walking out. She was a stronger person and home cook than when she walked in, and closer to her culinary dream of opening a restaurant. She was excited about what lies ahead. Joe’s advice to the remaining contestants was if they couldn’t stand the heat of the top eight, they’ll soon be out of the kitchen. That’s more like a fortune cookie than advice, but okay. Next time, another two-hour episode. The cooks serve firefighters, and transform trash into treasure.

🍴 Two Links That are Cooking…

If you have a dream, apply for MasterChef here:


If you want to dream at home, cook with previous chefs here:


🐮 Tune in tomorrow for The Real Housewives of Dallas.

🏥 Paging Doctor In-Your-Face…

Married to Medicine: How They Got Here airs Sunday, August 26th, at 10 pm. I might check it out, but I rarely watch the show anymore. I watched the first couple of seasons, but it fell by the wayside when I started feeling embarrassed for them. I just kept thinking, these are professionals; why? I was hoping for something more like Blood, Sweat and Heels, but got something closer to Jerry Springer. I like a good hair pulling as much as the next Housewife viewer, but I have my limits. I do like Dr. Jackie, the voice of reason, but I’m actually surprised she even knows these people.

👠 I’d Love to Play Dress-Up In This…


🌍 Preferably in Naples…


August 8, 2018 – Peter is the Luckiest Man Alive, NYC After Cartagena, Lots of Gordon, a New Wife, & It Starts the Same


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I miss the very beginning, because, dogs.

Dr. Klein (is it the same actor?) tells Finn that he’s in no position to make demands. Finn knows Klein thinks he’s way out of his depth right, but they need him or he wouldn’t be here. He wants proof Anna is alive before he looks at the chart. Klein leaves the chart and walks out. Finn says sorry if he hurt Klein’s feelings. In my head, I fill in that Klein is working for the captor(s) and someone important has an infectious disease.

Klein tells Anna, time to wake up. Anna asks what for, and he says, proof, and takes her picture.

Peter tells Robert that he thought he knew everything about his father, but he only scratched the surface. Robert’s colleagues are more educated than he is. Robert says Peter claims to have information they want; show him. Peter wants his freedom guaranteed first.

Maxie tells Nina that the advertising department was swept away with Valentin’s ad block. Nina says to tell them anyone can sell a fantasy with pretty copy; a lie is still a lie. Valentin appears, and says nothing about his love for her is a lie.

Drew tells Kim it will be a feeding frenzy to meet him at the reunion. She says she’ll handle it for him. Margaux comes by, and says, funny running into him. Drew introduces her to Kim. He says they met because of their mutual love for baseball. Margaux says she’s actually there on DA business, and leaves. Kim says, baseball, huh?

At the courthouse, Alexis asks what Julian is doing there. He says he’s there to support his niece. She says he should be proud of her. It took a lot of courage to bring the case to court. Julian wants Kiki to know she’s not alone. Ava told him about the meeting. He had no idea they’d put up with that kind of harassment. Alexis says so many men don’t realize what they’ve had to get over, put up with, and deal with forever. They’re angry, and if one of them isn’t, there’s a problem.

Kiki tells Ava that she has to sit across from David, and knows how he’ll look at her. Ava says, don’t look at him. Give him nothing. Griff says he’ll use the same tactics he did at the hospital, and try to intimidate her. He agrees she should give him nothing. Ava tells her to think about how many of them support her; they’re the ones who are important. They see her as the beautiful, honest woman she is. Griff says, absolutely.

Scotty tells Franco that people are unpredictable, especially under oath. It kind of gets to them. They have secrets that should go to the grave, or at least a shrink, but feel the need to unburden themselves, leaving nothing but shrapnel.

When Klein Is gone, Anna sits up. She takes out a small scalpel.

Robert tells Peter that he won’t go to Steinmaur if he provides information regarding the patients in the Russian facility. Peter says he’ll need it in writing, but Robert says that could take weeks or months. Peter asks if he’s supposed to take Robert’s word for it. Peter says just before Jason, Dr. Klein had a record of varying signs of success with the other patients. They were taken to Liechtenstein for further study. Robert asks, why not Jason? and Peter says he’d have to ask Klein. Robert thinks it’s just a stall to keep him out of Steinmaur. If this is a test, he flunked it. Peter asks if Robert is sending him to supermax, but Robert says Anna would never let him hear the end of it. He’s going to offer a compromise.

Finn tells Klein a photo could have been taken weeks ago. He wants to see Anna in the flesh, speaking coherent sentences. Klein says, or what? Finn says his patient is in bad shape, and there’s a mutation he doesn’t recognize. Unless he kidnapped a panel of experts on infectious diseases… Klein gets what he’s saying. Klein leaves, and Finn says, that went well.

Robert tells Peter that they’ll shelve the charges. Peter asks what that means, and Robert says he’s not exonerated, and the charges can be refiled. He’s free for as long as Robert says so. Peter says, so he’s under Robert’s thumb. Robert tells him, should he want to use Peter for a WSB op, he’s to offer his full cooperation. If he causes his mother or anyone else grief, Steinmaur will be waiting. Robert opens the door, and Margaux is there. He says, perfect timing. Peter is no longer a WSB problem. She asks Peter if he’s ready for her.

Griff tells Ava he’ll meet them at the courthouse. She says it means a lot for him to be there by Kiki’s and her side. He’s family to them. He leaves, and Kiki asks what Ava thinks of her outfit. Ava says she thinks she knows what Kiki is trying to accomplish, and it’s not going to work.

Franco asks if Scotty is sitting on information that could hurt Kiki’s case. Scotty says it has nothing to do with the case. Franco asks what he’s talking about; maybe he can help. Scotty says, hypothetically, how do you tell your friend that her daughter had relations with her doctor, ex-priest boyfriend? Franco says that hypocritical bastard. Scotty couldn’t agree more, but now that Franco knows the truth, what is he going to do about it?

Alexis tells Julian, sorry; this issue gets her worked up. He understands. She says between the dock thing, photoshop (I guess she’s become a meme?), and phone calls, she’s on edge. Julian says he’s angry, thanks to her. The therapy session she dragged him to made him pissed off. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got with the double standard he grew up with. It was screwed up. Finding a good woman to save, and at the same time, keeping the same woman under his control. He doesn’t know as he’s met anyone who wants to be controlled. Alexis wonders if it’s an argument or an apology. He says he’s done a lot of both. He wants to thank her for Kiki being able to conquer the world he grew up in. Kiki is fortunate to have her. So are Sam, Molly, and Kristina. She teaches them by example not to accept the world he grew up in.

Elizabeth tells Kim that she’s testifying on Kiki’s behalf. She was thinking of having Franco bring Cameron to the trial.

Ava tells Kiki that’s not what Alexis told her to wear. Dressed in a dark blazer, blouse, and slacks, Kiki doesn’t think it sends the right message. Ava asks if she thinks the conservative look makes her seem serious and believable. Kiki says she wants to be seen as professional. Ava says if she wears this, she’s saying one thing to David – you win. He’s taken her confidence and power. Don’t let him get away with it. Didn’t she hear what they said the other day? They haven’t battled so hard for her to surrender. Get in there and fight.

Peter asks if Margaux is there to discuss fraud charges. She says she’s not chasing him for a fake resume or a phony name. She can’t get traction on attempted murder without Anna either. It’s beyond her how he’s not going to prison, but his crimes aren’t her jurisdiction. Peter says if it’s not her jurisdiction, then it’s not her business. She doesn’t like the idea of releasing him back out into public. She asks if he knew that ID theft is a federal offense, and he says he didn’t steal anyone’s identity. She says he aided and abetted changing Drew’s identity. He says she’s reaching, but she says if she can prove it, he’ll go to prison.

Valentin says James is looking well. Maxie says James is none of his business. Nina says she and Maxie are working. He just wanted to tell her that he had the stables rebuilt, and Lumiere is coming home tomorrow. He also bought a mare, so she and Charlotte can ride anytime. Maxie tells him to stop using what’s important to Nina to get to her. He says what’s important to Nina, is important to him. Maxie tells him all children’s well-being is important to her, and he took Peter as a child, giving him to Faison. He says he also protected Peter most of his life. Maxie says Nathan protected Nina most of her life, and because of him, Peter, and Faison, he’s gone.

Klein brings Anna in, holding her up. He tells Finn that if his patient dies, so does she.

Maxie tells Nina the Interruptions are making work impossible. She’s going to tell them to bring the food to the office. She realizes she forgot James has a doctor’s appointment. Nina says she’ll go with her, and Maxie says she’ll cancel the order. When she’s gone, Nina says, Maxie is right. He’ll do anything to try to get to her. He’ll use anything; the magazine, her horse, Charlotte. He already took out major ads. She gets it. He professed his feelings. He thinks it’s love, but it’s not respect. He says he respects her, but she says not enough to tell the truth. She’ll be glad to give Charlotte riding lessons, but not when he’s there.

Peter is tired of explaining that he had nothing to do with the memory transfer. She says he was an accessory, but he says, not according to Robert. She tells him he wasn’t given an everlasting get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s on record that he had the flash drive with Drew’s memories. He says he’s not the one who stole them, and a digital download of memory transfer isn’t include in the definition of ID theft. She says he was trafficking stolen information, using it to bargain for his freedom. It’s extortion and blackmail, and he’d be deemed a flight risk. He wonders why she’s so invested. She says she’s the DA, and it’s her job, but he thinks there’s more to it.  She wants to use his freedom as leverage for something else. She says he made a mess, and it’s on her to clean up. He asks how they’re supposed to do that, and she tells him to give back Drew’s identity, and all the charges will be dropped.

Kiki comes out in a navy-blue dress with bell sleeves. Ava asks if she feel like more herself. She does, and she feels more like Ava. She never realized the battles Ava had to face. Ava says she’s had her share of challenges, but the first time, there was no social media; it didn’t exist. Harassment is harassment. She survived, and so will Kiki. Kiki says it’s her favorite thing about Ava; she’s a survivor. She hopes Ava knows how much she loves her; she’s sorry. Ava says she has nothing to apologize for, and hugs her. She says nothing in this world would tarnish her love for Kiki – nothing.

Franco tells Scotty instead of them saying anything, has he considered not putting Griff on the stand? Cross him off the list. Scotty says, it’s not that easy. David thinks the picture is his ticket to ride, and wants Griff to testify. Franco suggests they go directly to Alexis. Scotty hopes by we, Franco means himself. Franco says, fine. He’ll warn her so she won’t be blindsided in case Griff wants to unburden himself. Scotty says better Franco than him. Scotty says the wrong question can blow the case, and ruin her client’s life.

Klein leaves Anna with Finn. He asks if she’s okay, and she kisses him, saying not to worry; she’s fine. He asks about the wobbly thing. She says she doesn’t want them to know she’s fine. They’ve been giving her phlebotomy treatments like clockwork. He says she has health conscious captors. She asks if he was kidnapped outright, or was it a botched rescue attempt. He says his kidnapping is part of the rescue; he’s working with Robert. He was brought in to cure a patient he’s never met from a disease he doesn’t recognize. Finn says he missed her, and she says she missed him too. They kiss, and she feels the tracking device that Robert implanted in his arm. She asks what it is, and he says, the cavalry is on the way. She says they can’t have that.

Peter says Drew is a good man who deserves his life back, and Margaux asks if he’ll do it. He says he left the flash drive when he was taken by Obrecht. If anyone knows where it is, it’s her. Drew walks in and says he doesn’t think Peter ever had it. Margaux asks if he wants to press charges, but he says the flash drive is gone. He wants to focus on his life as it is. If she wants to continue, have at it, but if she’s doing it for him, thanks for nothing. Peter asks if he’s free to go. Griff comes in, and says he needs to see his patient.

In the hallway, Margaux asks Drew if he’s sure he doesn’t want to press charges. He asks what’s the point? Even if Peter was convicted, it won’t change anything. Peter is as much his father’s victim as he is.

Peter tells Griff they’ve kept each other’s secret; let’s leave it. He says he’s there for Anna. Peter has reasons for hatred, anger, and sadness, with nowhere for it to go. He doesn’t want Peter to direct it at her. Peter says, wouldn’t it be great if he wasn’t there at all? and Griff says he’s free to go. Margaux comes back, and says an officer will come by with his release, and to get out before she changes her mind and charges him.

Franco tells Elizabeth they need to get to the courthouse. She says she was just suggesting maybe Cameron should come, but Franco thinks the subject requires some delicate conversations. They’ll talk later. Griff asks if Elizabeth is still working. She says for just another few minutes, and he says he’s consulting on a case. He tells them how Ava stepped up for Kiki, and Franco says he’s a lucky guy, and makes a mean face. Griff guesses he is. He leaves, and Elizabeth wonders what’s up with Franco. She thought he liked Griff. Franco says, so did he.

Peter gets dressed. Robert says it’s his lucky day. Peter says he’s an object of mercy for the first time. Robert says it might look like he’s free, but Peter’s ass belongs to him. He tells Peter here’s a gift from the WSB, and tosses Faison’s lighter on the bed. Peter says it gave him satisfaction to take it when Faison died, but now he doesn’t need it. Robert suggests it might get decent price; Faison’s estate was seized. Peter says he doesn’t want his father’s money. Robert says he should try selling the lighter. Until further notice, he’s penniless.

Julian thanks Alexis for hearing him. She’s glad the therapy had the effect it did. He says his son also became a father. He thinks Lucas and Brad will be great parents. Alexis says, Julian too. He’s improving as a grandfather. He tells her to get the SOB.

Peter sees Nina and Maxie at the hospital. He says he has no right to ask, but can he see the baby? He tell James he hasn’t seen him since his big debut; he’s gotten so big. Nina asks if he’ll be leaving Port Charles. Maxie asks where he’s going to go now. Peter looks more like Tim Allen every day. He needs to ditch that beard pronto. Peter says he can understand why Maxie would want him to leave and never come back. Maxie says she doesn’t hate him, but it would be for the best. He says he’s lived in different places, running from his father his entire life, and this is the closest he’s come to having a real home. He’s decided to stay and give things another chance.

Away from Nina, Valentin gets on the phone, and makes arrangements with the warden to visit a prisoner. Donna Mills? I read she’s coming back.

Drew asks if Margaux is disappointed that he’s not pressing charges. She says she’s actually happy it’s freed her schedule. He appreciates the effort, and says there’s a hotdog stand near by. He asks if she’d like one. He imagines they have mustard. They leave together.

Anna takes out the scalpel to remove the tracking device from Finn. He wonders why they can’t be rescued, and she says personally, she’s not all for it. Whoever these people are working for is powerful and dangerous. Finn adds, and sick. She says they can’t find out who they are, and they will if Robert comes charging to the rescue. She removes the device, and says, now they’re on their own.

On the phone, Robert says he lost Finn’s signal. Do they have it? He says, dammit!

Anna and Finn almost kiss, when Klein comes back. Anna pretends she can’t stand, and Finn pretends to hold her up. Klein says it’s time to roll. Finn asks, where? and Klein says he’ll know when they get there.

Julian asks how the team is, and Ava says his niece is quite a warrior. He supports her one million percent. She appreciates it, and Ava asks if she’s ready. She says, damn right. Franco and Elizabeth come in, and Franco says, she’s got this. Elizabeth tells her that nurses are coming to support her. Kiki bets no doctors will be, but Elizabeth thinks he might be surprised. Franco tells Alexis that he has to talk to her before her case falls apart.

Tomorrow, Ava asks to talk to Elizabeth, Alexis asks Franco what’s so important, and David asks Scotty if he’s trying to throw the case.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Dorinda visits Ramona in the Hamptons. It’s Ramona’s first major renovation, and it’s uplifting for her. Dorinda says it looks like a whole new place. Ramona tells her it’s the best feeling next to having her daughter. LuAnn and Sonja arrive. Ramona says she did everything online. In her interview, LuAnn says Ramona now thinks she’s the queen of design, but there are no flowers; not even a chia pet. Everyone is still recovering from the trip to Cartagena.

Tinsley comes by Carole’s place. Carole says, not to overshare, but it’s the first day she’s normal in the bathroom. Tinsley says, not to overshare, but she got worse later.

Sonja suggests wearing diapers. We see a picture of her reaching into an overhead rack, and her diaper is sticking up over her pants. In her interview, she says she doesn’t like to use the lavatory on a bus, and with a diaper, you don’t know what’s going on down there. Really? Does that diaper come with a handful of Xanax? They relive the boat trip from hell.

Tinsley didn’t think it was that crazy. Carole says it could have ended totally different. In her interview, Carole thinks Tinsley is nuts. It’s like she was on a different boat. Tinsley says, true, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Carole says she’s been in abusive relationships, and it sounds like her her go-to reaction – everything is okay. It’s the same reaction with their near-death experience. Tinsley gets weepy, saying she can’t help the way she is.

Everyone is all TMI about their diarrhea at Ramona’s house. She tells them she’s having a showcase for her anti-aging cream.

Sonja is worried about renting the townhouse. She’s only seen three or four people, but they’re coming into the prime month for real estate. Realtor Kristi comes over. Sonja explains that when the snow melted in the yard, the poop underneath was revealed. She has to be all over the poop situation; she’s inundated. Kristi says the client is pulling up, so Sonja needs to go. Kristi says she’ll text when they’re done and meet with Sonja.

Dorinda visits Bethenny at her new place. She says you know you’re moving up in world when you enter right into the apartment from the elevator. Bethenny says she was excited to come home, but dreading it. Normally she’s very involved in her own move, but everyone worked hard while she was gone to get the apartment ready. Calling it home after a trip like that is sweet. She gives Dorinda the tour. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s everything you’d want an apartment to look like. It has everything that makes living in NYC easy. I have to note that the closet is bigger than my first apartment. Dorinda is still under the weather. Bethenny says she was the only one not sick.

Bethenny says Dorinda had a real moment with LuAnn. Dorinda doesn’t want to talk about it, but she’s still pissed off. LuAnn needs to look at the bigger picture, and how Dorinda has stuck by her. In her interview, Dorinda says after she tried to speak to LuAnn, she still doesn’t get it. Every statement was loaded. LuAnn depended on her for three years, so don’t school her now. A handshake is only good if there are two hands. She tells Bethenny that she feels like she’s in a good place with John. In her interview, Dorinda says they didn’t break up, but she wants to be in a growing space. Bethenny says she’s glad he’s not going anywhere. Just because you love someone, that doesn’t mean they’re the right person. In her head, she gave Dennis ninety days. She says he might end up alone, but Dorinda doubts it. Bethenny says she’s not sharing the closet.

Kristi tells Sonja that her client likes it, but what’s coming up in every showing is the construction nearby. She thinks the price should be reduced. She’s even been doing vetting to make sure they can afford it. Sonja says, if you can’t afford it, don’t look. In her interview, Sonja doesn’t care who likes her. She wants her price.

LuAnn meets Bethenny at a place where you make your own lipstick. Bethenny suggests LuAnn make Countess Cabaret. Oddly, LuAnn’s bag matches Bethenny’s jacket. In her interview, LuAnn says, now that Carole is out of the way, she and Bethenny have been reconnecting. Bethenny says she saw Dorinda, and she’s going to therapy. She says Dorinda doesn’t think she did anything bad. In her interview, LuAnn says she and Dorinda have had no relationship after Cartagena. She was horrified to know what her friend thought of her, and hopes she looks at herself. She tells Bethenny that she doesn’t hold grudges, but it’s like a knot in her stomach that’s not going away. She does forgive Dorinda though. Bethenny says Dorinda doesn’t think she needs forgiving. In her interview, LuAnn says it’s hard to ignore. She’s heard you hurt the ones you love most, and unfortunately, Dorinda loves her in the wrong way. Bethenny tells her that Carole has been hanging out with Tinsley. She’d said she wanted lighter friends. Light and young, with no responsibilities. In her interview, Bethenny says her relationship with Carole is like burnt marinara; you can’t fix it. If it’s burned at the bottom, you can taste it at the top. LuAnn tells her about Ramona’s house. She’d said it was a total renovation, and everything is white. The top on the kitchen island looks like a headstone, and where she keeps the bodies. In her interview, Bethenny says rehab was freeing for LuAnn. She now doesn’t care if what she’s saying is inappropriate. LuAnn tells her the house was freezing. There was no warmth and no character. She says Ramona was the inspiration for Money Can’t Buy You Class.

Carole meets Dorinda for dinner. She just came from a meeting with her agent. The Widow’s Guide to Sex and Dating is being optioned for TV. It’s been a transforming year. She also has a party coming up for her article in Cosmopolitan. Dorinda asks if she’s dating, and if she’s gone out with Brian, the scarf guy from speed dating. Carole says Bethenny texted him, and Dorinda says Bethenny claimed it was a mistake text. Carole tells her that Bethenny says not nice things about him. She thinks it wasn’t a mistake, and Bethenny is two-faced. Dorinda says Bethenny told her they’d hit a wall in Cartagena. Carole says she heard that too, but Bethenny hasn’t said any more. Dorinda says she saw the new apartment, and Carole says she was never asked to, which speaks volumes. In her interview, Carole says when they were friends, she was the first person to see Bethenny’s old apartment, and the new one pre-construction. It’s indicative of where they are. Well, I doubt Carole would call Bethenny for any firsts either. Carole says she’s seeing Bethenny for the first time, or maybe just clearly. She needed to reframe the friendship, and create boundaries. She thinks Bethenny creates her own story, or perspective, where Carole isn’t there for her. Dorinda says she starts the story where she chooses, and Carole says, where she looks good.

Michele from Cosmopolitan is hosting the party with Carole. The attire is athletic chic, since they’ve been to too many cocktail parties that are all the same. Heather Thomas shows up. In her interview, Carole says Heather supports her. She misses Heather, and it’s nice to feel a connection again. Tinsley and Scott arrive, with Tinsley sporting a Columbia sweatshirt. In her interview, she says she played tennis for them when she went to college there. Adam shows up with a trophy for Carole. In her interview, Carole says they still love each other. He was a good boyfriend. She doesn’t crash and burn relationships, the way some people do. She talks to him about work. In her interview, Tinsley says Carole and Adam’s break-up was harder on her than them. They used to take trips together with her and Scott. She’s glad he’s there supporting Carole, and hopes they remain friends. Heather asks Carole what her having a voice means, citing some talk from last season. She thought Carole already had a voice. Maybe it needs to be about her occasionally. Carole says Bethenny isn’t a bad person, but it needs balancing out. Heather says Bethenny is self-absorbed, and doesn’t realize it. In her interview, Carole says Heather knows Bethenny, and gets it. She doesn’t have to overexplain. A group picture is taken, and Dorinda runs in at the last minute. She looks sleek, and Tinsley says no one talks about the upside of the Columbia cleanse. Dorinda looks good. Adam congratulates Carole, and says they should grab coffee sometime. She says she doesn’t drink coffee anymore.

Bethenny picks up Sonja. They’re going where SkinnyGirl jeans are made. In her interview, Bethenny says if she can help keep Sonja’s ass covered, she’s done her part. Sonja tells Bethenny that Mr. Watch TV was over. In her interview, Sonja says she likes monikers, since she doesn’t want to put the names out there. He’s her Netflix and chill kind of guy.

Bethenny is involved in all aspects of the jeans line, and is obsessed. They’re slap-your-ass good jeans. Bethenny explains that Sonja also has a clothing line, and is along for the ride. Manager Bill says, this is where the magic happens, and he’s going to take her behind the curtain. Bethenny wants to be inspired and be involved. They go past some gigantic washers, and Sonja jokes about hiding bodies. In her interview, Bethenny says the difference between Sonja and Carole is that Sonja doesn’t take herself seriously, and they laugh a lot. Sonja says it brings back memories of FIT. She’s back in her element. I used to live a few streets down from FIT, and I miss my element. Bill shows them some jeans that enhance a guy’s male parts. They’re called BPD – Big Package Denim. Bethenny and Sonja laugh their asses off. Someone wearing those might scare me. Remember, it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.

NYC is experiencing some nasty, rainy weather, and Dorinda’s umbrella turns inside out. She comes by the dry-cleaning place to see John. The manager tells John that his wife came to see him. In her interview, Dorinda says they call her his wife because she’s always storming around the castle like she’s the queen. John has a nice lunch set up in his office, with flowers and everything. He tells Dorinda that he’s going to be on Rachel Ray’s show. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s never seen someone grow so much in six years. He wants to be the best man he can for her. She brings out the best in men. I have to admit, I’m impressed. We haven’t seen John much lately, and I wasn’t crazy about him, but it definitely looks like he’s improved. John says it’s been an amazing six years; it was effortless. Dorinda says she realizes that she has to communicate better. He’s working hard, but it’s important to take time out. In her interview, she says he makes her happy. Not everything he does makes her happy, but that’s life. She tells him about LuAnn’s cabaret, and says there will probably be an after-party.

Ramona arrives for her Ageless pre-celebration. She wants people to test it, and tell her what they think. The venue is restaurant Megu, and Carole tells Dorinda that the last time they were there, there was a huge fight. We flash back to Carole telling Bethenny get off her jock. They go inside, followed by LuAnn in a cute, feathery, lavender jacket. Tinsley has a new idea; Tinsley Travels – a vacation so amazing, you’ll literally sh*t your pants. I literally LOL. They toast to Ramona. Sonja brings in a huge shopping bag with shoeboxes in it. She’s brought shoes for everyone. She shows off the pair she’s wearing, and they are cute. In her interview, Sonja says the people who buy Ramona’s skincare are the same demographic as her shoes. LuAnn puts her pair on, and those are cute too. In her interview, LuAnn says Sonja took a little away from Ramona’s party, but she loves the shade. Ramona tells Sonja it’s about her skincare, not Sonja’s shoes. In her interview, Ramon says she’ll give Sonja ten minutes. I’m flabbergasted that she’s even giving Sonja any time. I figured she’d pitch a fit. Sonja says he didn’t bring shoes for Carole and Dorinda. They don’t support her, and she doesn’t think they’d wear them anyway. We flash back to Dorinda being obnoxious about Sonja’s family crest slippers. Ramona tells Tinsley that she’s worried about Bethenny. In her interview, Ramona says Bethenny claims to support women, but if she did, she would have come or at least wished her luck. She got nothing.

Carole is looking forward to LuAnn’s cabaret. LuAnn tells her that the beatboxer worked on Hamilton. We see a clip of LuAnn rehearsing with Sonja. Dorinda says LuAnn should be proud of herself. She’s sorry about their mishap. Is that what we’re calling drunken fits now? She says she’s always supported LuAnn, and she’s sorry. In her interview, LuAnn knows Dorinda feels the need to apologize, but she’s not interested in fake apologies. Show her by doing something about her problem. She feels bad when people can’t cop to their own bad behavior. She laughs, and says she didn’t mean to use word cop. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s looking for her own I’m sorry. She feels like LuAnn lacks self-awareness. Or maybe their friendship isn’t as important as she thought.

Ramona makes a little speech. As the drinking commences, Carole tells LuAnn that her skin never looked better.

Next time – the finale – LuAnn’s cabaret; John’s not invited, but Scott is; Sonja has a wardrobe malfunction; Ramona calls out Bethenny for being unsupportive; and Dorinda and LuAnn go at it.

🍋 On MasterChef, the mystery box contained oil, and the challenge was to make a deep-fried dish. The contestants had access to the full pantry, and Viking stoves got a plug. The pantry never ceases to impress me, since it contains everything you could think of. I also like to kid myself that I’d be a great cook if I only had one like it. The judges cooked along with the contestants. Aaron made crispy oyster tacos; Joe recreated a dish from his childhood in Italy – Fritto Misto – that featured calamari; and I missed what Gordon’s endeavor was called, but it included crab and caviar, and looked stupendous. The home cooks got to taste the judges’ three entrées, and I was jealous. Shanika, hopefully humbled from past episodes, was the winner here, with a pancetta apple risotto. She also got a spot in the top three. Safe from the next challenge, involving citrus fruit, she chose which contestants would have to cook something savory and which got the sweet side. Gerron was a smarty pants, begging for sweet, so of course she gave him savory, which was what he really wanted. I don’t know how she didn’t figure that out, since I was only half paying attention and guessed that was his tactic right away. I’m not crazy about fruit, but Ashely made a scrumptious layer cake that I would not have minded eating. Gordon pronounced it bloody delicious, and said she took a massive risk that paid off. On the opposite end of the spectrum, SJ made something that you couldn’t even tell what it was except a mess on a plate. He claimed it was a torte. Gerron and Ashley were the winners, but it was the end of the road for Ralph, who Gordon said did not have the technical skills to execute the challenge. He was sad to leave, but said he’d accomplished a lot, learned so much, and wasn’t giving up his dream of opening a Filipino restaurant. He felt like he was leaving as a better person and a better cook. Next time, Gordon gives a master class in filleting a halibut, and only the sharpest cooks make the cut.

😱 24 Hours to Hell and Back featured Patrick Molloy’s, a family owned restaurant and bar in Hermosa Beach, California. The original owners were a husband and wife, and the husband’s good friend. The husband passed away, and son Patrick inherited his share of the place. Mom thought he got too much too soon. Friend Fred also became Patrick’s stepdad. There was friction between Patrick and Fred, and the staff used it to their advantage, goofing off while Patrick and Fred were busy arguing. The staff complained that they didn’t know who to go to for anything, and Mom (whose name I never caught) was caught in the middle. To add to the pressure, she had developed non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. When Gordon asked Patrick why he thought business was bad, he said it was because they didn’t get a lot of customers. Instead of just staring at him blankly, as I would have, Gordon told him that the only reason they had any customers was that there were so few local places to eat. They were a last resort. Hell on Wheels showed the staff acting like idiots, arguing bosses, and an unsanitary, filthy as hell kitchen. Gordon called the kitchen a war zone, and said business was hemorrhaging starting with that. Screwing his shrink hat on extra tight, Gordon found out that Fred really wanted out, and there had been animosity between Fred and Patrick’s dad that was being carried forward. Gordon wanted to see freshness and vibrancy, and the owners on the same page. He did the usual, renovation, cleaning, counseling, and teaching them to cook, and at last Patrick stepped up. Disappearing into the night, Gordon’s mission was accomplished. Next time, a combative owner in Santa Barbara, and a gas container next to a furnace.

🔥 Hell’s Kitchen will return on Friday, September 28th.

🔪 More on Gordon…

The hardest working man in the kitchen.




🌴 Look Who’s Coming to Housewives…

I loved her reality show It’s Complicated. I hope we see some of her dad. And her billion pets.


🌄 It’s a Real Place…



🎪 But If You Misspell It, You Get…





August 1, 2018 – Michael Says Goodbye to His Son, the Boat Ride from Hell, the Chefs Cook for Kids, No 24, Shahs Coming, a Passing & a Fair


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Hopefully there are no major editing gaffs. I was very distracted by reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway? on the UP channel. I forgot how hilariously funny that show was. And how much I love Wayne Brady.

General Hospital

Carly tells Sonny that she keeps imagining Michael trapped in the car with the gas tank leaking. Thank God Sonny got him out. Sonny says he’s fine, and there’s no permanent damage. Carly says Nelle must be disappointed. Jason says Michael is safe, and they need to think about leaving.

At the hospital, Sam asks Elizabeth if she can see Peter, but visiting hours are over. Elizabeth is surprised she’s not at Lucas’s place. Sam wonders why she’d be there, and Elizabeth asks if he didn’t call her. Sam realizes the baby must have arrived, and jets.

Lucas says, Wiley Cooper Jones. He’s finally here. After all the screenings, interviews, waiting, and praying, he shows up when Lucas is in the middle of surgery. He’s going to keep them on their toes. Lucas wonders how Brad did everything by himself. Brad says he managed, but Lucas is here now, and they’re together. Lucas says, they have a son. Brad says, they sure do, and he’s perfect.

Michael asks Nelle how it happened. She says she was suddenly on the side of the road. Maybe she was thrown from the car. He says she wasn’t. They talked, and she left him behind. Nelle says she doesn’t remember; maybe she was in shock. She felt the baby coming, and wanted to get help. She tried to fight the contractions as long as she could, but they kept coming. She gave birth alone, in the darkness, and realized the baby wasn’t crying.

At The Floating Rib, Lulu sees Chase at the bar. She says it’s been a while. He hasn’t taken her up on the offer of dinner yet. Even though Dante is away, Chase is still his partner. Chase says they should do that then.

Ava, Griff, and Kiki sit at one of the tables. Ava knows Kiki has a lot on her mind, and says David is going to get what’s coming to him – in court of course. Kiki says at the very least, she’ll give him one helluva fight. Ava tells her that they have to remind each other of what’s important; family and friends. Griff couldn’t agree more. Ava leaves to get another round. Griff says Kiki has been nursing her glass of wine all night. She says it’s not a good idea for her to drink too much. Her mom might figure out what they did.

Lulu tells Chase something is clearly wrong, and asks if he wants to talk. Chase guesses he can tell her. She’s family, and bound to find out. Michael and Nelle were in a terrible accident.

Carly tells Sonny that they’re going to Canada for three months. Jason says it could be more or less time. Sonny says if they get caught now, it’s all for nothing. Carly asks if they can wait a little longer, and Jason says he needs to take care of something. Sonny tells him to watch out; he’s a wanted man. After Jason leaves, Carly ask how Sonny is. He says was watching the footage from Michael’s car, and saw the crash. Then everything went to black. All he could think about was what if Michael died in the explosion. She says it didn’t happen. Michael is safe, and Nelle was stopped. He asks at what cost?

Lucas says Brad was right. He said Lucas would hold the baby in his arms, no matter what, and kept his promise. Brad says they wanted to be a family. Lucas asks where Brad went, and Brad tells him that Wiley was crying, and he heard a car ride calms babies down. Lucas says with newborns, it’s all about hearing the heartbeat. Brad says he can’t do without Lucas, and Lucas says he doesn’t have to. He may never put Wiley down again; he’s in love already. He says, not to jinx anything, but now they have to hope the birth mother doesn’t change her mind.

Nelle tells Michael that she tried everything to get the baby to start breathing, but nothing worked. The crash was too much. Michael says the first thing she told him was that she and the baby were fine. She says she was wrong. The crash killed him. Michael was too busy trying to get a confession, and didn’t pay attention to the road. He asks if she’s blaming him. She thought he’d be dead at the end of the night. Instead, their son is, because of her.

Sonny tells Carly that Nelle copped to killing Zack, rigging Michael’s car, and making her go crazy. Carly asks if Nelle admitted she didn’t push her. Sonny says Michael was trying to get her to admit it when the crash happened. She says at least Nelle’s credibility is nonexistent, and will cast serious doubt on her side of the story. He says Diane has a lot to work with. Carly asks if Diane came to see her at Ferncliff. Sonny says she got a court order for five minutes. She said Carly was in a straitjacket, and so heavily drugged, she barely remembered her name. Carly says it’s over now, and if she has to go to Canada, so be it. Sonny teases her about how she’ll like spending time with Jason. She says that was a long time ago. Now she wants him. They hug. Jason brings in Josslyn, who runs into Carly’s arms.

Lulu asks Chase what happened? He says there was a car crash; a van came out of nowhere. Michael got Nelle to confess to killing Zack and conspiring to kill Michael. He also got her to admit to gaslighting Carly. He tells Lulu that Michael is still alive. Ava joins them, saying she overheard. She tells Chase that Nelle works for her, and asks if she’s all right. Chase says she’s fine, but the baby didn’t survive.

Lucas shows Wiley to Sam, who holds him. Brad looks like a wreck. Lucas tells her that Brad said he has a great set of lungs, and Sam says the time for that goes by quick. Brad says that Lucas hasn’t eaten, and he’ll go out to get food.

Nelle asks how Michael can blame her; he was driving. It’s his fault. he hated her so much, he killed her baby. Elizabeth tells Michael that Nelle is in shock and grieving. Nelle says it’s his fault. He ruined everything. Elizabeth asks Nurse Courtney take Nelle to her room. She tells Michael that he can have all the time he needs to say goodbye.

Carly says she missed Josslyn so much. Josslyn says Jason said he’d bring her to Carly, and Carly thanks him. Sonny thinks they should give Carly and Josslyn some time alone. Jason tells Josslyn that she’s going to hear things that don’t make sense, but to listen; it’s the truth. They have proof. Sonny promises it will be okay, and he and Jason leave. Josslyn asks what happened with Michael, and Carly suggests they start with Ferncliff. Jason got her out. It was scary and fun. They kept running and didn’t look back. Josslyn wishes it had been sooner. No matter what happened with Nelle, Carly shouldn’t have been there. Carly says there are some things Josslyn needs to hear about Nelle.

Chase tells Ava the baby was stillborn. Ava goes back to the table. Chase tells Lulu it was his brilliant idea. It worked. Nelle took the bait, and asked him to help her kill Michael. She thought the car was rigged to crash, and when she wanted out, Michael refused to stop. She panicked and confessed. The crash was random; a van swerved into their lane, but them being there in the first place is on him. it’s his fault the baby died.

Kiki asks Ava if Michael and Nelle are okay. Ava says they’re at the hospital, so she’s going there. Griff says he’ll come too, but she doesn’t think they should overwhelm them. She tells Griff and Kiki to stay and enjoy themselves, and tells Griff to take care of Kiki. When she’s gone, Kiki says there’s something weird about her relationship with Nelle.

Elizabeth asks Michael to come with her. When he’s ready, she’ll take the baby. He says she’s not taking his son. Leave them alone. Brad watches.

Sam asks Lucas if everything is okay. It was a little weird the way Brad left. Lucas thinks it’s been a little overwhelming, getting everything they’ve wanted. Sam says they have more to lose, and tells him to relax. He might even learn to trust happiness. He says it’s not Wiley, but their marriage. It’s mostly been good, but they hit a rough patch last year. He didn’t like how upset Brad got when Finn gave away the cure for Blackwood Syndrome. His dreams of a big payday got the best of him. Since then, he’s stepped up, and reminded Lucas why he fell in love with him. It’s been amazing watching him grow.

Brad visits Nelle, and asks how she is. She says fine. They’re treating her pretty nicely. It pays to be a grieving mother. He says that’s not funny. She says, no it’s not, but it worked. For all anyone knows, she lost the baby, but she gave it to him. Brad says Michael is devastated, and she says, good. Now he knows how it feels. Brad doesn’t think he can keep it up. Lucas is already in love with the baby, and has no idea. She asks if he really thinks Lucas would forgive him. He’ll be arrested on the spot, and Lucas will lose his husband and son on the same night. Is that what Brad wants for him?

Ava sees Brad talking to Nelle. She moves to the side of the , so they can’t see her. I don’t know why any of this would be weird or clandestine, since Brad is Nelle’s friend and Ava is her boss.

Josslyn can’t believe Nelle wanted kill Michael. She tells Carly that she saw Nelle kissing Chase, and he didn’t seem to care. It makes sense now. Carly says Nelle will be going to prison for a long time. Michael has proof that she conspired to kill him, and she admitted she murdered Zack. Josslyn says she didn’t say what mattered – that Carly didn’t push her. Carly says she admitted to gaslighting her though. She wrote the note that led her to Morgan’s grave, and must have sprayed the cologne there. Josslyn says Nelle had a bottle of the cologne. Josslyn picked it up, and Nelle was weird about getting it back. Carly says Nelle had a lot to cover up. She’s not surprised Nelle lost track. Josslyn wonders why she didn’t believe Carly, but Carly tells her not to do this. Josslyn says when Carly needed her to believe the most, she didn’t stick up for her or say anything. Carly went to that awful place thinking Josslyn had turned her back. She’s so sorry. Carly tells her to stop, and hugs her. She doesn’t want Josslyn doing this. Nelle manipulated her and lied. Josslyn says she let her; she was stupid. Carly tells her not to blame herself. No one is to blame but Nelle.

Lucas asks if Sam is going to be a doting aunt, who will buy noisy toys that drive him crazy. I laugh, since my father and I used to find noisy toys for my niece to drive my sister crazy. Sam says she’s going to teach him to ride his first Harley. Lucas says he’s going to confiscate her leather jacket. Her phone rings. It’s Jason. He needs a favor, and she tells him, anything.

Griff tells Kiki there’s nothing weird. Nelle works at the gallery, and she and Ava are friends. She tells him, once more with feeling, and he says he wishes they weren’t close. Ava has a colorful past, but Nelle’s mistakes are in the present. Kiki wonders if he thinks Nelle brings out the worst in her mom, or it’s the other way around. He says he’s just projecting. He wants to believe Ava is hiding something, because he knows they’re hiding something from her.

Ava comes into Nelle’s room. She says she heard about the accident and the baby; she’s so sorry Nelle lost the baby. Nelle tells Brad that he needs to go home to his family, and thanks him for everything. He leaves, and Ava says she can’t imagine what Nelle is going through. Nelle says if she’s there to say, I told you so, just leave. Ava says she’s not here for that, and Nelle asks why she is. She made it clear they’re not friends. Ava must want to know if she gave her up as an accomplice. She can do that at any time, since there’s a cop right outside.

Sonny asks Elizabeth if Michael is okay. She says his injuries are superficial, and she’s sorry about the baby. Sonny is like, what?

Michael sits in the chapel holding the baby, and asks, why?

Sam meets Jason at the docks, and gives him an envelope. She asks if someone is watching his place, and he says, probably. He broke Carly out of Ferncliff, and they have to leave the country.

Josslyn asks if Carly can forgive her, and Carly says there’s nothing to forgive. Josslyn says her testimony put Carly behind bars, but Carly is proud she told the truth. She did what she had to even though it was hard. She doesn’t blame Josslyn; it’s not her fault. Nelle manipulated everyone. Josslyn says she took Nelle’s side, and guilted Carly into apologizing. Carly says no one makes her do anything she doesn’t want to. Josslyn says she should have known Carly didn’t push Nelle. She knew it wasn’t on purpose, but thought it was in the heat of the moment. It was easier to think Carly was losing it, than that Nelle was manipulating the family. She pushed Michael to get back together with Nelle. Carly says she wanted the baby to have two parents. Josslyn can’t believe Nelle is the mother of Michael’s baby. Carly says that’s a tough one. Josslyn asks what’s going to happen with the baby, and Carly tells her that he’ll probably be born behind bars. Nelle will never see him, and Michael will be a single parent. Josslyn says he won’t be alone. They’ll all help out. Carly says Josslyn is a wonderful aunt, and Josslyn says Carly is a wonderful grandma. Carly says, ugh; I am.

Sonny goes to the chapel. Michael asks if they want to take the baby. He just got there, and he’s not ready. He’d said if it came down to it, he would choose the baby. He would have given his life for the baby to live, and he failed him. Sonny says he didn’t cause the accident. Michael says he’s the one who set it up, and kept driving when Nelle asked him to stop. He’s the reason his son is dead.

Chase tells Lulu that an innocent bystander never died because of him. She says he can’t blame himself. Nelle murdered Zack, and wanted to murder Michael. She had to be stopped. No one wanted it to end this way, but no one wanted her to succeed either. He appreciates it. He says when saw Nelle walking on the side of the road, she didn’t even run. She just looked at him. She didn’t say the baby died; she didn’t have to. Somehow, he knew. That bundle was so still.

Kiki tells Griff that she’s got to go. Them being alone together makes her uncomfortable. He asks her to stay, since her mom said she’d be right back. It might seem weird if she just bolted. She says her mom can’t find out they slept together. Griff says it would break her heart. Kiki says after all this time, he doesn’t know her. She doesn’t get sad. She gets angry, and then she gets even. If she found out, she’d take them both down.

Ava asks if Nelle has been arrested. She says she was read her rights; no big thing. Since she was holding a dead baby, she doesn’t think she was completely responsible for her actions. Ava says, no handcuffs, and Nelle thinks it’s the PCPD’s idea of mercy. That could change at any time. Nelle suggests they settle it. Ava is wondering what she’s planning on telling the cops. Ava says, not that she was an accomplice. Nelle says she tampered with evidence, and that makes her an accomplice, but she’s not saying anything. She’s not giving them the satisfaction of saying Carly didn’t push her. She asks Ava to go. Ava tells Nelle that she’s really sorry about the baby, and leaves.

Sam asks how long Jason will be gone. He says maybe three months. Technically, Carly is a mental patient, so she won’t face charges. There’s no security footage, but there were eyewitnesses, and he had a gun. Sam thinks it will probably be more than three months. He says if it comes down to it, he’ll turn himself in. He’d rather be in prison than on the run. There’s too much for him in Port Charles. Sam thinks there must be something they can do. He says she was right about electroshock therapy being a voluntary procedure. A waiver has to be signed. Sonny didn’t sign anything, and Carly was too out of it to sign. Sam thinks they can go with that.

Josslyn and Carly have dinner. Josslyn says only her mom thinks frozen pizza is health food. Carly points out that it has protein, it’s easy to make, and it’s yummy. Josslyn says she missed Carly. Carly says when they’re done, she’ll have Max take Josslyn home. Sonny will keep her in the loop about her brother. Josslyn was hoping to spend the night there with Carly. Carly says she’d love that, and takes Josslyn’s’ hand.

Chase thanks Lulu for listening. He needs to call a car, but she says she’ll drive him home. He’s Dante’s partner, and that makes him family.

Ava comes back to The Floating Rib, and apologizes for running off. She tell them that Nelle lost the baby. Kiki leave to call Michael. Ava says she can’t imagine what Nelle is going through. Griff says it’s like Ava to stick by her.

Nelle tells the baby sweet drams in his happy home. Michael and his miserable family will never be able to find him, even though he’s right under their noses.

Brad tells Lucas the diner was closed. Lucas says, the all-night diner? and Brad says, weird, right? He thought of going somewhere else, but didn’t want to spend another moment away from Lucas and their son. Lucas says he’s really theirs. The baby smiles. Very cute. This one’s a keeper.

Sonny tells Michael that he can’t blame himself. Horrible things happen that they can’t control. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. They don’t know the complications the baby might have had without the accident. Michael says he looks so perfect. Elizabeth comes in, and Michael asks if she’s there for his son. She says, only when he’s ready. He kisses the baby, says I love you, and gives him to Elizabeth. She leaves. Sonny hugs him, and Michael cries. Sonny has tears in his eyes, but stays strong for his son.

Tomorrow, someone wants to discuss Carly’s escape with Mary Pat, Lulu wonders if someone helped Nelle, and Jason promises Carly will never go back to Ferncliff.

The Real Housewives of New York City

At Casa Mattos, Bethenny never felt less relaxed. She feels like she’ been assaulted. Sonja asks if Bethenny and Carole are good. Bethenny says she talked to Carole, and it’s better than bad. Ramona says the worst part was the Dorinda and LuAnn thing. I have to mention the fabulous breakfast spread, since these trips are like food and water porn for me. LuAnn just wants coffee and to get to the island. It’s an hour and a half ride, which thrills no one. LuAnn feels sucker punched, and asks if Dorinda remembers what happened. Bethenny says she did last night, but she’s not sure about today. Carole says she didn’t want to feel lectured. LuAnn brings up Dorinda criticizing her for being The Countess. As far as I’m concerned, LuAnn will always be The Countess. LuAnn tells them to talk to Queen Latifah and Lady Gaga.

Dorinda joins the table, and LuAnn says they can all call her Lu, including Dorinda. Dorinda says after everything she’s done for LuAnn, and LuAnn asks what she’s done. Dorinda says she’ll do whatever she wants, and LuAnn says they saw that last night. In her interview, Sonja says something deeper is going on. LuAnn is reinventing herself, and Dorinda is spiraling. Dorinda insists LuAnn was lecturing her, and says she’s been there through everything. LuAnn thinks she doesn’t remember, and if she knew, she’d be mortified and apologize. Dorinda accuses LuAnn of being high on her horse this morning. Wow. Remove one word and that sentence takes on a whole new meaning. Dorinda tells LuAnn not to call her anymore. She almost got arrested for LuAnn. I’d love to know what that’s about, but she doesn’t go into it. In her interview, Dorinda thinks it’s the first time she’s seeing The Countess everyone else has spoken about. Bethenny tells Dorinda this is not what she wants to do, and Dorinda tells her to stay out of it. She was going to apologize to LuAnn, and humble her ass, but not when LuAnn is treating her like sh*t. In her interview, Ramona says they’re like a couple of roosters. They need to step aside, and not put on a crazy show. It’s too early.

Bethenny says LuAnn just got out of rehab. Everyone tells her not to get involved. Bethenny says Carole is in everyone’s business. In her interview, Bethenny says it’s not a good sign. They’re not one empanada into breakfast, and someone is going overboard. Dorinda leaves the table. In her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t regret one moment, and if she wanted to, she could be meaner, but she’s holding back. Ramona says Dorinda is having fun, and doesn’t want to be told what to do. LuAnn says Dorinda is getting angry again, and Bethenny tells LuAnn she understands more than they know. Carole rolls her eyes, and Bethenny says it’s obvious Carole doesn’t like her. Carole says she hasn’t changed; she just doesn’t have 24/7 to respond to texts like she used to. That’s what changed. The time spent together has changed, and neither one  of them has enough time. Carole thinks they should cancel the boat trip.

Carole decides to take a breath. Tinsley says the trip is dark, and she feels depressed about it. She loves Cartagena, but it’s not happening. Bethenny and Carole aren’t feeling her, but it’s okay. Bethenny says she realizes she’s crying a lot, but never had a friendship disintegrate to this level. She doesn’t know if they’re each other’s kind of person. Ramona says different people come and go in your life. How insightful.

Dorinda decides to stay behind and go into town. Carole asks why she and LuAnn don’t talk quietly and privately, and steers her toward LuAnn. Dorinda says she will if LuAnn wants to. Carole says it’s only in front of everyone that it gets heated. Carole makes herself scarce. LuAnn and Dorinda hug, and Dorinda says she loves LuAnn. LuAnn says she knows, but there was so much anger. Dorinda though LuAnn was judging her, but LuAnn says that wasn’t how she felt, but Dorinda looked angry. Dorinda says she was happy, and only had one drink. She felt like LuAnn was coming down on her. If she needs to apologize, LuAnn should too. In her interview, Dorinda says they’re both responsible. LuAnn tells Dorinda that she’s sorry if Dorinda thought she was being judgmental. She reacted darkly, and then went apesh*t. Dorinda says LuAnn should be sorry for what she said, but she wants to move on, and promises it won’t happen again. LuAnn says Dorinda is a dear friend. They’ve been through a lot, and it’s one moment in ten or twelve years. In her interview, LuAnn says the things Dorinda said were so dark and angry toward her. She can’t forget; it hurt so much. When you’re slapped like that, it leaves a scar. Dorinda doesn’t want to repeat the evening, and LuAnn agrees. In her interview, LuAnn says it’s hard enough realizing the feelings Dorinda has for her. She’s going to put it, and not ruin the trip. She wants to enjoy the rest of the time. They hug again.

Bethenny talks to Sonja and Ramona, saying Carole was wrong to say what she did, given how sensitive they are right now. Why couldn’t she sit it out? She says she’s not giving up on the friendship, but thinks Carole doesn’t love her. Carole sits back down at the table, but Bethenny doesn’t notice, and keeps talking. She doesn’t think Carole needs to jump on everything. She’s been crying because of the deterioration of a friendship; it’s heartbreaking. They’re at code red, and Carole should let her talk, even if she’s being an idiot. It’s upsetting. Carole says she’s there, and I laugh. Bethenny says it was nothing she wouldn’t say to her face. Sonja says it’s the best communication they’ve had the whole trip. Carole says just because she’s not crying, doesn’t mean she’s not upset. In her interview, Carols says Bethenny acts like a twelve-year-old, playing the victim. Instead of acknowledging what she did, she says, you don’t like me anymore. Carole says everything one of them says, sets the other one off. Bethenny says she’s never experienced anything like this. Carole says Bethenny questioned the friendship, things were said, they talked about it, and she thought it was better. She suggests they just have a good time, and Bethenny agrees. In her interview, Bethenny says she’s emotionally bereft. Most relationships shouldn’t take this much work. It’s been a weird trip. As they leave, Carole mentions there’s a torture museum in town. Bethenny says, this is the torture museum. I went to one of those in Niagara Falls (Canadian side). It was the coolest thing, with all the medieval devices set up in wax figure tableaus. Sadly, the museum had a fire and is no more, but how weird must that have been?

They get to the boat, and champagne is waiting. They toast to a great time. Bethenny says she loves Carole, and she’s sorry. Carole says she feels the same. In her interview, Carole says Bethenny still didn’t own up, but for now, she’s going to take it. The boat leaves port. In her interview, Ramona says, the beach, swimming, pink champagne, and a yacht. They’re in their element, and they’re ready. Everyone takes selfies. Dorinda dances. They see little islands with houses on them, and Dorinda says, this is vacation. They arrive at a private island. In her interview, Bethenny says they’ve been in enclosed spaces, and they’re all animals and need to run wild. It’s real freedom and vacation. LuAnn thinks it’s very romantic, and wishes she was there with a guy.

The island has open rooms that look like a beach club. A few of the women poke at a crab on the boardwalk, and decide to put it in a hammock with Ramona. LuAnn gets in the hammock, and tells Ramona come on, hiding the crab. When Ramona gets in, LuAnn puts it on her, and Ramona scrambles around and squeals. In her interview, Ramona is glad she didn’t roll off and sprain her ankle worse. The poor crab ends up getting mangled.

The girls go swimming. Ramona moons, and Sonja flashes. They notice the price tag is still on Sonja’s bathing suit. She explains that she keeps the tags on in case her clothing goes to the consignment store. Tinsley says, eBay, gently used. In her interview, Tinsley says she even got her hair wet. She’s happy it’s going this well, and they’re finally having fun.

Dorinda sits on the dock. In her interview, Bethenny says Dorinda is sad, and she knows what it feels like. It’s been a weird vacation. Dorinda has done something she regrets, but doesn’t entirely remember. She says she’s rather make her feel better than let her sit in it. She and Dorinda take a walk. Dorinda says she wants to have fun and drinks, but not have people mad at her. Bethenny says she’s now a mental patient. Dorinda wondered what happened, but doesn’t think it went that way. Bethenny tells her not to beat herself up. Dorinda says she doesn’t need anyone to make it right. It’s not her goal to hurt people’s feelings. She starts to cry, and says she’s heartbroken. LuAnn is like family, and to hurt her is a bad thing. She wants to be a safe place all the time. Bethenny hugs her, and tells her to give herself a break. Just tell LuAnn she loves her, and give her a hug.

Sonja’s tag is gone, and I’m thinking, if she took it to the consignment shop, they would notice it had gotten wet anyway. Dorinda approaches LuAnn. She’s sorry she hurt her. LuAnn knows she is, and they hug. LuAnn says she loves and forgives her. In her interview, she says she felt like she did when she got let out of jail. She tells Dorinda that she’s not judging; she’s just worried. In her interview, LuAnn says when Dorinda gets in trouble over and over again, when she’s drinking and pointing her finger, anger is an issue. She needs to look at herself. Dorinda says she thought they were in a good place, and doesn’t know where this came from. LuAnn says she thought the same thing about herself, and bam!  In her interview, Dorinda says LuAnn is in a pink cloud post rehab place, and projecting, but she doesn’t need advice.

Lunch is ready. Carole and Bethenny sit quietly, and in her interview, Carole says Bethenny actually ran out of words. She’s shocked, but it’s good. Tinsley and Carole talk shopping, and Bethenny thinks it’s boring. In her interview, Carole says no one shops more than Bethenny, and no one is more obsessed with her own and everyone else’s clothing than Bethenny. Ramona says they’re all fashionistas. After lunch, they lie in the sun. Tinsley says she’s never slept better. Ramona says she found her man, and asks if she has any career plans. doesn’t she want to do something for herself? Tinsley says she worked hard, and now wants to be a wifey for once; she’s never been that. Ramona says she hasn’t either. In her interview, Ramona thinks it sounds shallow and empty. Ramona swings the hammock, and Tinsley spills red wine all over.

LuAnn and Sonja go over cabaret stuff. In her interview, LuAnn says just because she’s on vacation doesn’t mean her cabaret is. She says they need a beatboxer. She and Sonja get on the table. In her interview, Carole says she’s nervous for LuAnn. The show isn’t far away, and they definitely have kinks to work out. A woman comes in, and tells them the water is getting choppy. They have to go back.

They get in the boat. The wind is picking up. LuAnn is still looking for her phone, and the producer tells her to hustle; he’ll get it later. The coastguard called, and they have to jet. The water starts to get seriously rough. Ramona wants the captain to slow down, but Tinsley says this is normal. Sonja starts to freak, and Ramona is like ♫ La-la-la! ♫ In her interview, Tinsley says it doesn’t feel extreme to her. Sonja says she’s been on many boats, but never like this. It’s like an airplane with one propeller. She announces that she peed her pants, so if you see that suit in the store or on eBay, don’t buy it. (I added that last part.)

Wow. My stomach just lurched while watching, and Carole thinks she’s going to throw up. Sonja says Tinsley isn’t worried because she doesn’t have a kid, and Tinsley fails to see how that applies. Ramona says she can’t swim. In her interview, Bethenny says Carole is throwing up in a bowl, and while she’s trying to comfort her, a table and chairs come flying at them. Dorinda asks about lifejackets, and is told there’s one. In her interview, Bethenny says the waves were fifteen feet, and Dorinda is screaming they’re taking on water. We hear a siren. Everyone wonders where the life vests are, and Dorinda says she smells smoke.

Ramona and Sonja clutch each other. We see text, and it says the waters were so rough, filming had to stop for safety reasons. We look at a video of the town. Seventeen hours later. Bethenny says it was the boat from hell. LuAnn says she thought they were dying at sea. Even the camera people had to go down. Dorinda wondered if anyone called for help. Things were flying all around. There was smoke, and the boat wasn’t going forward. LuAnn says she was praying they didn’t capsize. The anchor was deployed, and they were trying to get it back. She says the captain ended up cutting it off with two swords a la Pirates of the Caribbean. They would have been killed otherwise. Bethenny says, no bueno.

Tinsley says it was super traumatic for everyone but her. She didn’t fear for her life, but can’t take away how the rest of them felt. Carole says she’s been to the most dangerous places, but it’s nothing compared to the boat. By the time they got back, they needed to decompress, and had some PTSD. No one got hurt, but everyone was like, wtf just happened? We see a clip of them dancing like maniacs. Dorinda says she just went to bed. Her nervous system was a mess, and she ran to the toilet all night. She wants to go home now. Tinsley says she doesn’t have diarrhea; she’s just hungover. She’s not that adventurous with food, and she and Bethenny didn’t eat the paella. Sonja says she had no toilet paper. In her interview, Bethenny says Ramona stole her toilet paper; it was a full-on diarrhea festival. Only she and Tinsley were fresh as daisies. Sonja says they got out of the boat, and then were swimming in sh*t. No offense to Columbia, but it never happened like this before. Tinsley says the trip wasn’t what they all hoped. It feels like the end couldn’t come soon enough.

They pack. Dorinda says it was literally and figuratively a sh*t show. She practically has to sit on her suitcase, and wonders why she always comes back with more than she left with. Um… because you went shopping? LuAnn says she left the ultimate gift on the bed. We see the maid scrubbing the mattress. Ew!

Next time, as much as LuAnn wants to forgive Dorinda, Dorinda doesn’t know she needs to be forgiven; Carole gets a trophy, and Dorinda horns in on Ramona’s skincare launch.

🍴 On MasterChef, the contestants had to make an entrée for the toughest critics – six to nine-year-olds with big appetites. Besides being safe from elimination, the winning team would get their dish featured in Family Circle magazine. The chefs split into two teams, with Julia leading the red team, and SJ leading the blue. The blue team chose a New York strip steak, and the red team decided on filet mignon. While some effort was made to hide the vegetables, the chefs weren’t grasping children’s palates, and Gordon cautioned them about not making the steak too rare. I’m not sure many kids are into asparagus or truffles either. Julia’s team won, and SJ’s team had to don the black aprons for the pressure test. Mark was called out for being arrogant and not listening. His parents owning a diner seemed to make him think he knew everything. The test was making a box of a dozen cupcakes in ninety minutes. A cupcake takes seventy-five minutes to bake, according to Christina Tosi, who was a guest judge, bringing along her own box of cupcakes. They were so gorgeous, in that moment, I would have sold a kidney for one. She wanted to see culinary masterpieces, and the chefs were given a massive array of ingredients, including just about anything you could think of for decorating. Gerron included bourbon in his recipe, but Gordon said the cupcakes looked like they had too much to drink. They were pretty messy. Not that I could do any better, and would probably do worse. For all his knowledge, Mark didn’t even get all of his cupcakes in the box. To make it worse, he thought it was funny. Gordon didn’t think so, and said he was becoming unteachable. Gerron and Mark were on the chopping block – my girl Chelsea was safe on the red team – and, no surprise, Mark was out. His mentor Joe told him to open his mind up to the right people. He’s young, and the road is long. Mark claimed he was humbled, and learned that he doesn’t know it all. He couldn’t wait until the day he’d be serving the chefs in his own restaurant. Next time, the hottest challenge of the season, and a divided kitchen produces shocking results.

🔥 Tonight’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back was a repeat.

💎 Don’t forgetThe Shahs of Sunset season premiere, Thursday (what I call tomorrow) at 9 pm.

😢 Sad News for the Kitchen…

Jessica Vogel, from the 2014 season of Hell’s Kitchen, has passed away at 34.


🎪 🎡 Seen At the County Fair Last Weekend…

In addition to a sausage sandwich and a corndog.


July 18, 2018 – Franco Reasons with Obrecht, NYC Wives Invade South America, Kenny Returns to the Deck, a Remark, a Quote & Done


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

On the phone, Sonny tells someone to call in any favors they can. Jason joins him, and Sonny says Carly is on lockdown at Ferncliff. Jason asks what about the appeal. Sonny tells him that Diane is working on it. They have to get her out, and she’s making it worse. Not that he blames her for wanting to protect Michael.

Chase meets Michael in the elevator at the hospital. He asks if it was a fun wedding night, and the best thing Michael can say about it is, it’s over. They have Nelle where they want her, and he’s ready for the next step. Chase tells him, God speed.

Kim tells Nelle the baby is in great shape. Nelle asks, what’s up with the stomach pains? Kim says she ran every test, and they were negative, but she might know what’s causing it.

Valentin says, I know you, to the MetroCourt bartender, but he says he has one of those faces. Valentin says they’ve met before, and the bartender says he’s been in Port Charles a while. He introduces himself as Chip, and Valentin says they can start with him explaining exactly who he is.

Peter asks Nina what he’s supposed to do next time, when she’s not there and Obrecht tries to kill him? Nina tells him to shut up. She’s got this; a way out for both of them He’ll be safe from Obrecht if he’s behind bars.

Sam tells Elizabeth that she and Curtis have some questions about Franco.

On the docks, Franco asks Obrecht if she’s okay. She asks him to excuse her state. She didn’t anticipate running into anyone else. He asks if she’s crying, and she says it’s allergy season. The pollen is ruthless this year. He doesn’t think that’s it.

Julian visits Sonny, who asks what he’s doing there. Julian says nice to see him too. He shows him the picture of Charlie and Mike.

Michael visits Nelle at the hospital. Kim thinks the culprit is indigestion. It’s like heartburn on steroids, and common in the last few weeks of pregnancy. Nelle feels like she was being melodramatic, but Kim tells her not to feel that way. They’re going to make sure she’s hydrated, and then she can go.

Sam tells Elizabeth, more specifically, they have questions about Franco’s relationship with Obrecht. Curtis says they have reason to believe Obrecht is hiding Peter from the authorities. Elizabeth asks if they’re talking about the cabin in the woods. Franco already told the police everything he knows.

Franco tells Obrecht to be honest; he already knows everything. She asks what everything is, and he says she lied. She didn’t have a woodsy hunk at the cabin; she had Peter tied to a bed, and she knows where he is. She says nothing gets past her Franco. He tells her that Elizabeth said to go to the police. She asks if he heeded that little snitch’s advice, but he says Finn already told them. She says, how predictable. A known drug addict couldn’t wait to cast dirt. He says, not dirt. She’s been holding Peter hostage, and he was found by an innocent kid whose probably scarred for life. She suggests Wyatt have a few sessions with Franco, and he’ll be fine. He says the cops aren’t just after Peter anymore. They’re coming after her.

Peter says Nina’s solution is to surrender to the PCPD? If he turns himself in, Robert will make it his mission to keep him in a cell for the rest of his life. Nina says he’ll be alive, and it’s better than what Obrecht has planned.

Valentin says he’s definitely seen Chip before. Chip says he’s an actor. Chip Morris. He’s worked in several metro areas, and did a local commercial; it pays the bills. He asks if this rings a bell, and pantomimes the advertisement he did. Valentin says he remembers, and grabs him by the front of his shirt. He says, it was some show on the pier, and asks who hired him?

Julian tells Sonny it’s a small world, and Sonny says, sure is. Julian says he’s been making room for the expansion, and found the photo. Sonny never mentioned Mike was buddies with the guy who owned the joint. Sonny says he didn’t know. Mike saw the picture of Charlie on the wall of the pub, and started talking about the old neighborhood. He lit up when he was talking, so Sonny wanted to buy the place. Julian says, it’s a hefty price to pay for nostalgia. Sonny says he’s lucky he’ll never understand what living with Alzheimer’s is like. He wanted Mike to be able to work there once in a while. Julian says he has no intention of selling, but Sonny’s dad is always welcome for coffee on the house, and not because Sonny forced him to. He tells Sonny to keep the photo, and leaves. Jason asks how much Sonny thinks he knows?

Nelle thanks Kim for being supportive, and Kim says she made it easy. She congratulates them on their marriage, and Nelle shows her the ring. Kim says it’s the first hospital wedding in her medical career, and Nelle says, everything is falling into place. Kim tells her to enjoy the end of her pregnancy, and get as much sleep as possible before the baby comes. She leaves, and Michael says it’s a relief. Nelle is glad it didn’t completely ruin the wedding. When she woke up, she felt like a different person; like how she was supposed to be. She can’t wait to start their new life. Michael’s phone dings. He says Alexis is supposed to meet him to go over logistical stuff with his will. He says he’ll be back before Nelle is discharged, and she says she’ll get her hydration on.

Chip threatens to call security, and Valentin asks him if all DEC agents are looking for extra work, or just him. Chip admits he was playing a part, and Valentin says, so it was just a hoax; why? Chip says he didn’t mean to start trouble. A lady hired him. She didn’t give her name; she just said it was part of a project. Valentin asks him to describe her. He says she was tall, athletic, strawberry blonde, and intense. Valentin says he knows who Chip means.

Nina says she’ll get Valentin to the MetroCourt, take him up in the freight elevator, and tip the police off. In exchange for setting him free, he’s going to tell them that he never saw his captors. Spin it however he wants; he’s good at fiction. Just keep her and Obrecht out of it. He says, no matter what he promises to say, how does she know he won’t give them up when he’s in police custody?

Elizabeth understands the think Obrecht has Peter, but when Finn and Franco got to the cabin, no one was there, but the ropes still were. Curtis asks why Franco didn’t tell the police, and Elizabeth says he didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Sam says they just came from the PCPD, and Franco wasn’t there. Elizabeth says they must have missed each other. She calls Franco to prove he was there.

Obrecht thanks Franco for the heads up. He asks if she’s disassociating, and she tells him not to shrink her. He says Peter is a fugitive, and they know she has him. If they catch her, she’s done. He wonders how she convinced herself that any of this was a good idea. They won’t care about her motivations, only her choices. She says she’ll make sure they don’t find him, and Franco says she’s not going to kill him. He’s not letting her do this to herself.

Kim goes to the pub. Julian says she caught him in the middle of organizing. She says she had a window between patients, and thought she’d swing by to show him some ideas. She wants to make sure the place feels like them. Julian asks if she means him and her, and she says, of course. He’s says things have gotten more complicated than when he started, and she asks, how so?

Jason tells Sonny that Julian knows something is up. Sonny says that’s why he told him that he wanted the pub for Mike. The closer the lies are to the truth, the easier they are to maintain. He’s going to force Julian to sell or take him out altogether. Jason says he’s Sam’s father and Danny’s grandfather, but if Sonny says he has to go, he’ll take care of it. Michael walks in, and says Nelle is being discharged, so he needs to follow through on the next step. Sonny thinks it’s time to fill him in on the specifics of the plan.

Chase visits Nelle, and she asks if it’s time for her daily lecture. No more kissing; she’s officially a married woman. He says he came to check on her, and apologize. He still has feelings for her, but he didn’t realize how strong they were until he kissed her. He could tell she didn’t feel the same way, and he felt like an idiot, so he lashed out. It’s for him to deal with, and he shouldn’t have said what he did. It’s not his place to interfere. He wants her to be happy, and if she says she is, it’s good. She tells him that he was right about Michael. She found out he’s planning to cut her out of his will.

Franco tells Obrecht it’s the only way. She wants justice for Nathan, but he says, murder isn’t justice. She says, close enough. He thinks she can make a better set of choices. She says, like him? He knows what she feels. He felt rage and wanted revenge, and then he faced the guy who hurt him. Obrecht asks if he let him live, and he says he didn’t have to make that choice. She says, lucky him. Franco tells her that if he’d killed him, he would have lost everything, and she will too, if she doesn’t step back. She says it’s too late; she’s already lost everything. Her son is dead, her daughter is in prison, and most people would be better off without her. What does she have to live for? He says she still has him.

Elizabeth leaves Franco a message. She guesses he must be giving his statement, and probably answering questions. She’ll let them know when he calls. Sam says they’ll be looking forward to it.

Curtis asks Sam if she thinks Franco is lying. She says he’s always lying, only the scale changes. They need to figure out where Obrecht is.

Valentin shows Nina’s picture to Chip. He says, that’s her, and Valentin says she’s his wife. Chip says he had no idea he was getting involved with a marital dispute, but Valentin says he’s not to blame, adding he’s a good actor and had him convinced. Chip tells him to spread the word about the show. He gives Valentin a flyer, and Valentin says he’ll get right on it. Valentin wonders what Nina wants.

Michael tells Sonny the less he knows the better. Sonny will have to trust him. Sonny says he married a woman who killed her last fiancé. She’s dangerous. Whatever he’s doing to neutralize her, Sonny wants in. Jason says Michael owes it to his father to tell him what he’s planning.

Nelle tells Chase that Michael is meeting with Alexis, and writing his will. Chase thinks that’s morbid, but he’s not sure why she’s worried. He probably wants to add their child as a beneficiary. She says their child is the only beneficiary. He’s leaving nothing to her. She asks if he’s going to say, I told you so, but he says he’s not going to gloat. She says Chase said Michael didn’t love her. Between the prenup and the will, Michael is making sure she gets nothing if the marriage ends.

Curtis and Sam see Valentin. Curtis tells Valentin that they’re having trouble getting ahold of Nina. She’s not answering her phone, and she’s not at Crimson. Sam tells him they think Obrecht might be keeping Peter captive. Valentin remembers Nina telling him that because of his silence, her brother is dead, and because of him, she had to take justice into her own hands. Sam asks if he has any idea where Nina is, and he says, as a-matter-of-fact, yes.

Nina says Peter could go back on his word, but she has to take that risk. He asks if she’s rediscovered her conscience. She says because of his choices, Nathan is dead, Maxie has no husband, James has no father, Obrecht has no son, and they have no brother. He’s dead, but now Peter has the chance to make it up and protect the people Nathan loves. Even if she’s wrong, could he seek revenge like his father would? She thinks he’s better than that. Peter says he’ll do it her way. Get him to the MetroCourt, and turn him in.

Franco tells Obrecht that she’s not the only person there who’s suffered losses. She hugs him. He tells her to turn herself in. She’ll miss out on some things, but not because she’s in prison. She’s been harboring a fugitive against his will, and it won’t go easy, but she won’t be there. He thinks she should leave Port Charles for good, and go somewhere safe. She can tell him where Peter is, and he’ll handle it. Assuming he’s alive. She says he was the last time she saw him. He says she can never return, but it’s better than life in jail. She says they may never see each other again, but he says they’ll see plenty of each other. She says he’s a good friend. He turns the other way, and takes his phone out. He asks where Peter is. He’s guessing Spoon Island. Obrecht comes up behind him, and hits him over the head, knocking him out.

Sonny asks Michael if he’s really going to goad Nelle into killing him. He says she’s nine months pregnant, and will need help. She thinks Chase is in love with her, and wants to run away with her. Sonny asks if he’s assuming she’ll ask Chase to kill him. Michael says when she does, it’s all the proof they need for attempted murder. Sonny asks if he’s considered the outcomes. Michael says Chase is a cop, and trashed a career for her. She thinks he’s infatuated with her. Jason says there’s no time to look for outside help; he has to move soon. Michael says Nelle has already signed the prenup, and knows she’s not getting anything in the will. She has to kill him before he files the papers, so he’ll die intestate. Sonny says he’s acting like he can’t get hurt. His mom will lose her mind for real if anything happens to him. Nelle has cost her enough. Michael says he’s the one who set it in motion, so it’s on him to stop it. He loves and respects Sonny, but it’s not his problem to solve; it’s Michael’s.

Nelle tells Chase to be honest. Does he think Michael is setting her up? Chase says it seems like text book rich people protection stuff. Those people aren’t like them, but if she and Michael love each other, she has nothing to worry about. He tells her to stop stressing and be happy. She’s earned it.

Sonny respects Michael taking the initiative, but thinks there are better ways to deal with Nelle. Michael is asking Sonny to let him finish what he started. He’s not as naïve as people think, and is fully aware of what has to be done. He wants Sonny’s blessing to do things the way he knows he can. Sonny puts his hand on Michael’s shoulder, and says he trusts him, but if Michael wants his blessing, there’s one thing he has to do for him.

Kim asks Julian how Sonny reacted. Julian says he got the point, which is that Julian knows Sonny has an ulterior motive for buying the pub. Now he knows that Julian knows. Kim says she told him she’d accept what he’d done in past, because he assured her that he had a new life. If he gets drawn back into anything criminal… He says Sonny was trying to strongarm him, but Kim says he just admitted to goading Sonny. Julian says he was putting him on notice. It makes her uncomfortable, and sounds like he wants to provoke an attack, so he has a reason to retaliate. Then he’ll be drawn into an illegal war? If he continues with this, she’ll need to rethink their situation.

Valentin tells Sam and Curtis that Nina is dealing with Crimson, and had to fly to Manhattan. He chartered the jet. Sam says that’s pretty nice of him, since they’re estranged, but he says he still wants to be supportive. He asks if Nina is in trouble, and Curtis says not unless she’s with Obrecht. Valentin leaves, and Sam says he’s lying. He definitely knows something.

Obrecht tells an unconscious Franco that she wishes she didn’t have to do that. She says to look after Maxie and James, and give them support. She knows he can. He’s a better man than when they met. Few people change, and those who do, seldom change for the better. He did, but alas, she can’t. She says, no more delays. She knows what must be done.

Julian asks if Kim is trying to break up with him. She says she loves spending time with him, but won’t turn a blind eye. He says she’s over-thinking it. He’s not trying to one up Sonny. He just wants to run his business his way, without Sonny breathing down his neck. The expansion isn’t just a business move; it’s an investment in the future. He hopes their future. She wants the man she’s come to know, not the one he used to be, and promised not to be again. He asks how about if he backs off Sonny, and puts peace and space between them? She asks if he means it. He kisses her, and she says she’ll see him later. He calls her cruel, but she says he has to be patient. It’s worth waiting for.

Chase comes by Sonny’s place at Sonny’s request. Sonny says Michael told him about the plan to incriminate Nelle. He thanks Chase for his genius idea, but Chase doesn’t think they should discuss an active operation. Sonny says it involves his son. if the plan backfires, and Michael gets hurt, he’s going to hold Chase responsible.

Nelle messes around on her phone. She hers Jason and Michael talking in the hallway. Jason asks Michael if he’s sure he knows what he’s doing. Michael says, obviously, Jason doesn’t think so, but he has to trust Michael’s judgement. Jason says he has Michael’s back, and Michael says Alexis took care of everything, while he’s putting the rest in motion. Jason says so he’s going through with it, and Michael says once they baby comes, he’s filing for divorce, and getting full custody. Nelle listens in.

Elizabeth leaves Franco another message. She’s getting worried.

Valentin goes to the docks. He hears Franco groaning from behind some crates.

Sam tells Curtis that she had Spinelli monitor the hangar, since they’d wondered if Valentin used it to help Peter. The jet hasn’t left Port Charles in weeks. Curtis wonders why he lied, and Sam says, because Nina knows where Obrecht is.

Peter thanks Nina, who tells him to save it for when he gets out. Obrecht walks in, holding something that looks like a Molotov cocktail. She says Nina has betrayed her, and Henrik has come to the end of the road.

Tomorrow, Chase goes to the docks, Carly refuses treatment, and Mike needs Sonny’s help.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Tinsley is excited to be taking the girl to Cartagena. Everyone is packing. Ramona had been in Marrakesh, and had to leave early. In her rush to switch gears, she’d fallen. She got up, but her ankle was twisted. Bethenny says she’s not in the best place for a trip, since she won’t be coming back to the apartment again. She isn’t feeling the love from Carole and Dorinda either.

Fastest. Plane. Ride. Ever. Ramona takes a wheelchair to one of the limos. She asks if they speak Spanish there, and Dorinda tells her they speak German. Ha-ha! In the other limo, Bethenny talks about Brian being persistent; he won’t stop texting her. LuAnn asks if that’s the one Ramona was trying to maul. Bethenny says Ramona said she went for drinks with him, but he said when she saw him with some other people, she abandoned her Uber to join them. He said, nice woman, zero interest, but Bethenny used it as an out, since she’s not interested.

Tinsley says the girls are used to their typical vacation being private beaches and catering to them hand and foot. This won’t be like that, but she thinks they’ll like it. She says the main exports are coffee, cocaine, and beer, and Dorinda asks how anyone works.

They arrive at the hotel. LuAnn thinks the city looks like a mix of New Orleans and Cuba. The house manager greets them, and introduces the house butler. LuAnn says the house has a lot going on; courtyards, staircases, elevators. They take a tour, and there’s an amazing spread already being prepared in the kitchen. Tinsley announces how they’re determining rooms. Each room has a Tiffany box containing one of their initials. In her interview, Sonja says this is where the vacation unravels. Tinsley wants it civilized, fair and random. We flash back to Bethenny trying to be fair picking names from a hat. She says it wasn’t her fault Ramona and Sonja acted like complete animals.

Everyone seems happy with their rooms, which is a miracle. In her interview, Ramona says it’s genius She didn’t know Tinsley was that smart. Ramona tells the chefs no butter for her. As usual, she harasses the staff about helping her unpack.

The dining table is high, and being short, I know how they feel. I often feel like those two kids in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Lunch is served. Bethenny is allergic to fish, and Ramona forgot to mention it’s in the soup, even though she knew. In her interview, Bethenny says it’s like a poison inside. She needs a Benadryl, but doesn’t do well with medicine either. Tinsley apologizes for only having the budget for silver necklaces instead of gold.

In her interview, Ramona says Bethenny has a major allergy and should tell people, divesting herself of responsibility. Everyone gets ready for dinner. Tinsley is excited. Scott booked her glam team to come along, and it’s the way to her heart. A wheelchair arrives for Ramona. Dorinda says she’s dehydrated, and asks for some wine. I have no idea what Carole is wearing. She says it’s sexy, but I’d call it convoluted; some kind of corset under a sheer dress, which I’d normally like, but no. Ramona gets stuck in the elevator. No one notices, but she finally gets herself extracted. LuAnn comes out in a wig to channel Sophia Vergara. In her interview, Bethenny says she’s proud of LuAnn powering through without alcohol.

The girls head to the restaurant. Carole says only Ramona would be in a wheelchair on old cobblestone.  LuAnn says she feels better not drinking. She tells Bethenny she’s been charged, but has one felony pending for battery, so she’s still not out of the woods. Bethenny asks the odds of her going to jail. LuAnn thinks it’s none, but says, knock on wood. Their table is in a room that looks like it’s outside, with a lot of trees, but still enclosed. LuAnn says she never made it to South America over the holidays, and toasts to making it there. Bethenny says it was a motley crew at speed dating. Carole says she went out to dinner with Brian. In her interview, Bethenny says Carole never mentioned anything to her. They’re not best friends, but it’s basic. Ramona says she could have talked to him for hours. They all acknowledge that she tried, and Sonja insists Ramona liked him. Carole says he thought she was funny. She talks about hosting a fitness party with Cosmopolitan, which I’m shocked is still in existence. Sonja asks if Brian is coming, Bethenny says he would; he’s running game. Carole says he’s friends with Bethenny, who says, no they’re not. Carole seems skeptical, and Bethenny asks if she would believe him over someone she’s known for years. In her interview, Bethenny says Carole is acting like Brian is her high school boyfriend and they’re going to the prom. She wants to piss on him and stake claim. Tinsley asks what running game means, and LuAnn explains it means he’s hitting on everyone. Dorinda asks if Bethenny went out with him, but Bethenny says she doesn’t want to date him. Carole tells Bethenny that he didn’t want to date her either. Apparently, she doesn’t know Bethenny was getting a million texts from him. Bethenny says it’s unusual for someone to be circling one group. She says Carole seems to be acting smug, like won prize; a consolation prize. In her interview, Carole wonders where this is coming from. She’s done nothing to elicit this nastiness and judgement.

Carole says Bethenny knows everything, and surprisingly, Bethenny says, no, she doesn’t. Sonja says Bethenny is worried about Carole because Brian is a player. Carole calls her crazy, and says it’s not that complicated. In her interview, LuAnn says they’ve lost their mojo as a group. They used to have fun before the fighting started. After dinner, Bethenny tells LuAnn it was torture, and two hours of her life she won’t get back. In her interview, Dorinda wishes Bethenny and Carole would have it out already. The tension is exasperating. Bethenny says she’s tired, and not feeling good energy. She’s going back to the hotel. Outside, as they watch the others go off to a bar, Bethenny tells LuAnn and Sonja that this is the motleyest crew ever. In her interview, Carole says it’s classic Bethenny. If she’s not in charge, she’s unhappy, and wants to make everyone else miserable. Ramona complains that she had to hang up her own clothes.

Bethenny says it’s painful, and LuAnn agrees. The three of them decide to look around the town. In her interview, LuAnn says she would look at a guy differently if he’d been texting her girlfriend for two months. Bethenny is enjoying LuAnn and Sonja’s company, because they want to be on vacation and silly.

Carole wonders why Bethenny is angry. Ramona decides she’s not feeling sexy in a wheelchair, and pretty much abandons it in the street. Miraculously, she can walk. Bethenny, LuAnn, and Sonja find them in the bar. Sonja says they got the Colombian vibe while they were walking around. Bethenny says she’s just tired. Tinsley thought she wanted to go home because Dorinda said she was unhappy. In her interview, Bethenny says Dorinda loves to find gasoline and light a match. She tells Dorinda that she doesn’t need to share everything. Dorinda tells Bethenny all she said was that she didn’t seem happy. Bethenny compares it to when she’d though Carole was sad, and Carole got mad about it. In her interview, Dorinda says it was like Bethenny was wearing a sign that said she hates it there Dorinda tells Carole that they need to sort that sh*t out. Carole says she and Bethenny are in two different places. Dorinda insists she doesn’t share important things. In her interview, Bethenny feels like she’s back in high school or in the Hunger Games. She starts to get weepy. Sonja says don’t let minutiae get her down. In her interview, Carole says, if you don’t want to be there, stay home, but if you come out, buck up. Bethenny tells Sonja that Carole is probably having a later-in-life crises, but she doesn’t want to be judgmental. Sonja would rather see Bethenny be a bitch than cry. She hates what Bethenny is going through.

The next morning, Ramona says, it’s paradise, and her foot is good. Tinsley organizes s shopping trip. Bethenny swims with Sonja in the pool. Tinsley watches, and Bethenny apologizes to her. Tinsley just doesn’t want Bethenny to be unhappy. Bethenny says she has a lot going on. The custody case is causing more tension, and she’s not close with Carole anymore. She’s also moving. In her interview, Bethenny says, inside, she’s upset that she doesn’t have the same friendship with Carole, and feels like an outsider.

A fabulous breakfast is served. Tinsley says it’s her and Scott’s anniversary. It’s been a year since they started dating. Bethenny says they’d better get engaged soon, and Dorinda says he’s moving in soon. LuAnn says it’s a good way to figure out if it’s going to work, and talks about Rey, who got desperate when she dumped him. We flash back to him drunk, and hitting on women while looking for LuAnn at a party. A huge heart made of red roses arrives from Scott. It has tm + sk in white roses in the middle. There are 365 roses, one for every day they’ve been together. Carole gives Tinsley a gift and card that she’s been holding for him. It’s a bracelet Tinsley wanted. I don’t think she even bothered looking at the card. LuAnn says they should celebrate over lunch. In her interview, Bethenny says she wants to come back as Tinsley. Sign her ass up. Mine too.

Bethenny tells Dorinda that the restraining order – against suckerfish Jason Hoppy – is up in a month, and they’re still embroiled in a custody battle. We flash back to the reunion, where Bethenny says there’s no way to describe the torment. Dorinda says she has so much going on, she’s going to explode, but she’s not running around talking about her. In her interview, Dorinda says she isn’t gossiping, she’s agreeing with an observation. Bethenny says if she tells Dorinda something, don’t tell anyone. They get ready to go shopping, but Bethenny doesn’t think she can go. She breaks down crying, and tells Dorinda that she’s having a panic attack. Dorinda sits her down, and tells her to take a deep breath. LuAnn pops her head in, wondering about the shopping trip. Bethenny says she can’t have more people around her.

To be continued…

Next time, Carole can’t engage with someone who’s always crying, Bethenny says she’s not welcome there, and Carole wants to address the elephant in the room that’s affecting everyone.

Below Deck Mediterranean

In Naples, the dock party breaks up. Brooke tells João that they have blatant chemistry, and he kisses her. Kasey is like, wtf just happened? He’s been pining for her, and treating her like a princess, and she feels like an idiot. She and Jaimie clean up, and she doesn’t even look at them. Fireworks happen (literally), and he kisses Brooke some more.

Back at the boat, everyone winds down. Kasey says João was all over her all night, and told her he knows what he wants, insinuating it was her. Hanna tells Conrad he’s the guy, and needs to be a big spoon. I guess that’s drunk non-birthday talk for she wants to spoon. João says Kasey and Brooke are like yin and yang in his mind. In her interview, Brooke says she’s drawn to players. She wants to change them and make them a better person. Good luck with that. She and João make out on deck.

The next morning, Conrad gives instructions to the deck crew. Colin asks João if Brooke is into him João likes Brooke because she doesn’t judge him. In his interview, Colin says João is his closest friend on the boat, and it’s not the first time this happened to him. In college, he brought a girl to a party, and his friend went home with her.

At the preference sheet meeting, we find out the infamous no-onions Kenny will be the primary, along with his wife Amber. Adam is nervous to have him back. We flash back to the onion incident. Adam says in their industry, you don’t get a second chance. Former NBA player, Desmond Mason will also be on board, celebrating his engagement to girlfriend Rebecca. There are also a couple of Texans coming along. Hannah says they went through eight bottles of vodka in one day, so she’d better order it. They left a surprisingly big tip last time. Captain Sandy tells them to have fun on their off time. Adam gets rid of everything in the onion family that’s on the boat.

Jamie asks João what’s happening with him and Brooke, and what about Kasey? He says he wouldn’t have kissed Brooke if he didn’t mean it. He’ll have to be less flirty with Kasey. He knows what he wants now. Which is exactly what he said to Kasey the night before. Jamie isn’t feeling too good, and keeps coughing.

The crew gets ready to go out. João says it’ a tough crowd. Jamie says he’s screwed up the dynamic of the boat. Brooke tells Hannah that when they kissed, it was amazing. Colin is ready to hang out on the beach, and cruise in the catamaran. In her interview, Hannah says she thinks some people need to make their own mistakes. She tells Brooke that he has two strikes with her, and it’s important he doesn’t do it again. She says if Brooke is going to do something with him, stay the eff away from her.

Hannah takes pictures, and they get on the catamaran to go to the beach. Hannah tells Adam that the men in her life are usually friends or someone to play with, but she thinks Conrad is the guy. Adam loves watching it happen. Brooke thought João was more into her than anyone else. Apparently, there’s no such thing as girl code for Brooke. Hannah says it escalated quickly, and Colin is upset. João joins them, and they abruptly stop talking about him, and discuss the weather. Brooke asks Colin if he’s having a good day. In his interview, he says he wants to tell her, but now is not the right time. Kasey says actions speak louder than words, and nothing he says means anything anymore. In her interview, she says it feels good to show off her two piece, so he can see what he missed out on. It sucks for him. A small boat meets them at the catamaran, and takes them to the beach.

They’re met with champagne, and are being treated like guests for the day. João jumps from the deck after one of the staff tells them not to. Hannah, Conrad, and Colin sit in lounge chairs, while João and Brooke continue to make out. The others go on a hike up the mountain. Jamie says she’s not well. The location is stunning, but she’s feeling like sh*t. Hannah asks Colin how he’s feeling about Brooke and João. He says it’s hard, but they’re into each other. Hannah asks if he wishes she’d fallen in love with him. Adam picks figs, and is trying to enjoy the day off, but it’s difficult with Kenny coming. There’s never been a charter guest he’s wanted to redeem himself with more. Brooke and João take the paddleboard out. Kasey says when he’s around her, he flirts with her, and when he’s around Brooke, he flirts with Brooke. Hannah says it’s a d-bag move, and he’s a d-bag. Adam says he’s sure she’s not missing anything. Jamie goofs around with a water gun shaped like a penis.

Everyone dresses up and goes to eat at the restaurant. Jamie keeps coughing. The wine glasses are gigantic. Hannah tells Kasey that Brooke has to learn for herself. João talks some smack about Colin, who says he can hear him. Colin asks Brooke if she’s João’s second or third choice. In her interview, Brooke says she wants to keep Colin waiting in the wings in case anything happens. Nice. Hannah is proud that Kasey didn’t throw up today. The food arrives. Brooke seems bummed. In his interview, João says Hannah is fake. Everyone goes back to the boat.

Conrad cares about Hannah, but thinks she’s obsessing over João. He says he knows she’s fuming, but she doesn’t need to have go at him. She says she’s just being passionate with what she’s talking about, and she’ll talk to someone else. In her interview, she says he’s not being supportive, and it makes her sad. Colin falls asleep on deck, and the other guys play Buckaroo, a game where you stack things on a sleeping person until they wake up. They manage to stack a lot of things on him, including a cooler, and also put fancy sandals on his feet. When he finally wakes up, he’s a good sport about it.

Jamie says no one realizes how sick she is. Everyone goes to bed. João and Brooke talk on deck. She thinks they should hang out after the season is over. He says she should come to Zimbabwe. She’d love it, but there’s a lot of crime. He talks about his mother being beaten in front of him, and how he had a gun held to his head when he protested. He says it’s the worst thing he’s been though, and Brooke says his experiences are worlds away from everyone else on the boat. Maybe, but it still doesn’t excuse him from being a d-bag. Colin slams down Pringles directly from the can in the galley.

Conrad asks Hannah what the deal is. In his interview, he says this is why it’s bad idea to talk when there’s alcohol is involved; it won’t go well. João cries in the bathroom. Brooke hunts him down. He doesn’t want her to see him cry, but she says it’s fine. She probably loves it. He says he doesn’t want to talk about it. In his interview, he talks about recurring nightmares of not being there for his family. He tells Brooke that some have it worse. He wants people see the positive side of him. She says he’s awesome. In his interview, he says he convinced himself that he’s not in pain, but when he talked to Brooke, it came out.

Conrad goes out on deck for a smoke. Hannah joins him, and says she isn’t coping well. What she’s feeling for him is beyond what she allows herself to feel. He says he’s here to stay, and they’ll do it together. They kiss. In her interview, Hannah says the important male figures in her young life either passed away or left. She thinks she might have abandonment issues. She holds back because she’s waiting for them to leave. At 4 am she bugs Conrad. She tells Adam that she feels panicky.

In the morning, João says chewing seems like an effort. Everyone gets ready for the guests. Jamie coughs. Captain Sandy says she’s patient zero. If she spreads what she has, it will kill season. The captain sends Jamie to the doctor.

Conrad asks if Hannah is feeling better. Kasey says they have to be supportive, put what’s already been done in the past, and focus on now. Brooke thinks no one takes her seriously. Kasey thinks Colin is a good person. The crew puts last minute touches on the boat. Brooke asks if Hannah is okay, and Hannah says she’s having a full-blown anxiety attack.

Captain Sandy is annoyed that she hasn’t seen Hannah all morning, and calls her to the bridge. Hannah says she’s a bit ill, and they both go back to her bunk. The captain asks Conrad if they all ate the same thing yesterday, and he says, no, but Jamie was sick before that. Captain Sandy asks if Hannah wants to see a doctor, but Hannah says it’s anxiety. She’s struggling. When she falls in love, she goes away, and she can’t get away without quitting. In a shockingly compassionate response, the captain asks if she wouldn’t rather experience love, than not know it, and tells her to rest. My mouth falls open.

Conrad comes to Hannah’s bunk. He says he needs to be there, but can’t let his personal life affect his work. Hannah grabs on to him, and says the environment being closed makes her more anxious. He tells her to rest.

The crew changes into their whites. In her interview, Hannah says she’s suffered from anxiety for ten years. She thought she had it under control, but guesses she doesn’t. The captain says it’s a repeat client, and to – let’s all say it together – knock it out of the park. Hannah isn’t well, and Jamie is sick, so the rest have to pick up the slack. She tells Hannah greet Kenny, then rest. Brooke doesn’t want to feel disgruntled. They’re a great team, and it’s what team members do for each other. Jamie comes back, telling them she has bronchial something. The captain tells her that she’s quarantined for a while, and gives her a room away from the others.

Kenny arrives. Adam says, it’s D-day. Captain Sandy says she’s happy he’s back. He pretends to be leery of getting on the boat if Adam is there, and then says he’s just kidding. Adam apologizes, and says he’ll do everything he can to make it up. Hugs all around. Colin is a sports nut, and freaks a little over Desmond, saying, he’s huge. The captain is happy Kenny is giving it another try, and Adam can redeem himself. She tells them it’s a bigger boat, and Hannah gives the tour. Conrad wonders if he’s super weak or the suitcases are super heavy. Hannah says they have 150 bottles of Grey Goose on board. She tells them she might not be around too much today. In her interview, she says she looks fine, but her body is closing down. No job is worth her health.

Anchor is pulled, and the guests wander around the boat. Adam says, Hannah is down, Jamie is sick, and Kenny is on board. Who’s screwed? This guy, referring to himself.

The guests put on bathing suits. Kasey says she can step up and do her work without constant criticism. Lunch is prepared, and Kenny gives Adam a trucker cap that says #noonions. Anchor is dropped and locked. Kenny thinks it should be beach lunch, even though the table is already set. He’s going to be that guy. He tells Brooke that they noticed a great beach, and it would be cool if they did lunch there. In her interview, she says she can’t make magic; it’s a bit frantic. The captain tells Kenny that they’re putting the toys in the water, and Kenny tells her about the beach. In his interview, Conrad thinks Kenny doesn’t realize how much of an insane request it is. I think he does. Brooke tells Adam about the change, and he thinks it’s payback.

Later this season, more fabulous scenery, more drinking, more water; Captain Sandy sees everything, and tells them, no hookups upstairs; Kasey gets mad at João; Adam forgets a crew dinner; a table goes flying; Conrad says accept him for who is or eff off; the captain gets pissed at Hannah, and doesn’t want to babysit; Conrad says João is an a-hole; and Captain Sandy wants to fire Hannah.

🍳 On MasterChef, the mystery box was filled with fresh seafood, which the chefs had to cook New Orleans style. Taylor faced some serious criticism about her red fish and spicy shrimp. Gordon spared her, but told her to never put a dish like that in front of them again. Gulp. Matt was out, but he’s only been cooking for two years, so he was proud of himself, as he should be. Joe predicted there was more great food to come from him. Matt hoped to be an inspiration for others to follow their passion. Gordon said it was a stern reminder that everyone has to bring their A-game every time. The judges picked two from each of their teams to be safe from the elimination test, which was recreating a frozen Salisbury steak dinner, with potatoes and green beans. Gordon displayed the real thing, frozen since 2004, and those who were safe assigned cook times – from 30 to 45 minutes – to the competitors. Gordon said SJ, Gerron, and Emily knocked it out of the park (he must hang out with Captain Sandy), but Chelsea with the blue hair (who hadn’t plated well), Lindsay, and Shanika overreached, overthought, and underdelivered. In the end, Aaron told Lindsay that it wasn’t her night tonight, but her dream of opening a bed and breakfast with her wife was within her grasp. In parting, she said she was going to continue with her culinary dream. Next time, something different. The contestants partner up for a game of chicken, and a grueling challenge returns – a dish that strikes fear in the heart of every home cook. I have no clue what that might be. Risotto?

🐮 Tonight, Bravo got us prepped for the future by airing The Real Housewives of Dallas: How They Got Here. I can’t wait to see what craziness LeeAnne pulls in the coming season.

👂 A Quote That Can’t Wait…

The only greens I want in my chocolate is weed. – Andy Cohen, after finding out avocado chocolate bars exist.

👍 Because I Did It…







May 30, 2018 – Kiki Makes a Decision, Bethenny’s Holiday Party, a Cruise at the Dock, Selling Spaces & Your Choice


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Jason talks to Spinelli on the phone, saying they have to prove Nelle set up Carly. He tells Spinelli that she left a trail somewhere, and they have to find it. He opens the door, and Kim is there.

Curtis sees Sam sitting on a bench. She’s like, hi, stranger, and he says he’s been making merry. Since he proposed to Jordan, she can’t blame a brother for wanting to celebrate. She says he missed a lot last night. He says he’s a good investigator, but bows to her expertise, and asks how she figured out that Peter was Henrik.

Peter tells Drew that it’s a simple transaction. Help him get out, and he’ll give Drew the means to remember his life as Drew. It’s in his possession.

Nina calls Nora from the hospital. She wants to start divorce proceedings, and wants Nora to represent her. Obrecht surprises her. She asks if the baby is okay. Nina says he’s small, but growing every day, and Maxie is doing fine. Obrecht wants to see her grandson, but Nina says there are a few things she needs to know.

Alexis looks at a picture of Mikkos, and goes through some Cassadine keepsakes. Her doorbell rings. It’s Valentin. He calls her Natasha. I love that name. It’s too bad she didn’t keep it. I had a German Shepherd named Natasha.

Elizabeth asks Kiki if David actually propositioned her. She’s not doubting it; she just doesn’t want to misunderstand. Kiki says he offered her his hotel key, and told her that he’d be waiting, if she wanted a better evaluation. It’s not the first time he came on to her.

Kim hopes Jason doesn’t mind; Josslyn gave her the address. He tells her it’s not a good time. She says she wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t important. Drew is about to take a terrible risk, and she thinks Jason is the one person who can stop him.

Sam tells Curtis how Peter had already made arrangements to meet Anna, but thank God, Jason showed up. Curtis wonders, if Jason got the drop on Peter, why is he still alive? Sam says Anna threatened to kill Jason, and Curtis says that’s taking law enforcement to the next level. She tells him to brace himself – Anna is Peter’s mother. She explains that Faison got Anna pregnant, she gave the baby up, and now they have Peter. (Really. The explanation was that simple.) Curtis thinks that explains why there’s no record of a history; it was forged. Sam doesn’t think it was entirely, and that the past couple of years, Peter was living under his new name. Curtis asks what happens to him now. Sam says the WSB is working on extradition. Curtis says he knows he’s fired. Sam tells him that Drew put out a press release. Now the truth is out. She thinks Drew needs time to himself to figure out who he is, and she needs to rebuild her own life.

Peter tells Drew that the baseline map of his memories is on the flash drive. It was hidden in an ornament, and given to Anna. She wasn’t aware of it, and donated it to the park Christmas tree, where he appropriated it. A copy of Drew’s memories is his for a price.

Valentin wants to solicit Alexis’s work as an attorney. He’ll pay her hourly, and make a generous contribution toward her daughter’s charity. He wants to move the bulk of his assets to a trust for Charlotte, and avoid any potential legal difficulties. Alexis asks if he’s worried about a lawsuit, and he says he can’t be too careful, but not yet. She asks why her, and he says she’s family; they should help each other. He looks at a piece of jewelry in her keepsake box.

Julian leaves a message for Kim to stop by Charlie’s. Lucas shows up there, and tells Julian he needs help. It’s about his biological mother.

Obrecht asks Nina to explain, and Nina says Peter delivered the baby by the side of the road. Obrecht says she’ll bake him a strudel to thank him. Nina says there’s more. He’s really Henrik. Obrecht says that’s not possible. She remembers Henrik as shy and clumsy, tripping over his own feet. Nina says, obviously, he’s changed. He was Maxie’s friend, and at the fundraiser with her. He was also there when Nathan got shot. Faison wasn’t going to Crimson to find Maxie, but to find Peter, and Nathan was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Obrecht asks if Maxie knows, and Nina tells her yes. Peter is in jail, but she doesn’t know what’s going to happen. Obrecht says there’s time to deal with that later, but now she wants to see her grandson. Nina says she’s not finished.

Jason tells Kim, whatever is going on, he can’t help. Carly is his priority. Kim is sorry about what’s happened, but Carly’s life isn’t on the line, and Drew’s might be. Jason says Drew can take care of himself, but Kim says he’s also Oscar’s father – Jason’s nephew. Oscar is just getting to know him, and if he loses him, it will break his heart. She asks if he’ll hear her out for Oscar’s sake, and Jason agrees.

Sam tells Curtis that she and Drew acquired Aurora to create a safe lifestyle for their family, and she thinks they did that. She wants to support him, and thinks she has, but she’s not wired that way. Curtis gets it. She wants variety, stimulation, meeting new people, and challenges that make her think quickly on her feet. They’re wired the same way. He tells her to look no further. He’s her partner.

Drew says Peter had the flash drive since Christmas. He could have made it known, or given it to someone anonymously, but held on to it just in case. Peter says, preparing for every eventuality is good business practice. Drew says it’s not business; it’s his life. Peter says it has everything on it, and it’s his gift to Drew – if he gets him out of there.

Nina tells Obrecht that Valentin knew. Obrecht says he worked for Faison, so probably saw Henrik when he was home on breaks from school. He also knew Henrik’s mother. Obrecht says she was a streetwalker; one of the many Faison hired to resemble Anna. Nina says, wrong. He never knew the truth. Henrik’s mother is Anna.

Alexis tells Valentin that rooting through her things is no way to solicit her services. He asks if she was feeling nostalgic, and she says she was feeling grateful to escape with her sanity intact. Valentin says he has failings, but galloping insanity isn’t one of them. Alexis says, no, but he inherited a lack of scruples, morality, and a semblance of a conscience. He says he thought she tried to avoid everything Cassadine, but she says she was trying to fill in the gap. Valentin says if she works for him, he’ll tell her everything.

Kiki tells Elizabeth that at first, David was super nice and complementary. He suggested medical school, and encouraged her through the whole process. It was when he started insisting on taking her out for meals and giving her gifts, things got weird. She thought he was just being a mentor. Elizabeth says a mentor isn’t supposed to behave like that. Kiki didn’t want to seem ungrateful or over sensitive. She didn’t know how far it had gone until he kissed her a few months ago. Then she thought maybe she’d misunderstood, and had sent the wrong signals. She told him she didn’t have those kinds of feelings for him, and he seemed to accept it, but then treated her differently. When he wasn’t being extra hard on her for little things, he was super nice, and easy going, and acted like the reprimands and chewing out never happened. He showed her a draft of her evaluation. It was a disaster, but he told her there was still time for revisions – if she was waiting in his hotel room. Elizabeth asks if Kiki thinks he’s there, but she thinks he’s still lurking around somewhere. Elizabeth says he’s about to get what’s coming to him.

Kim tells Jason that Andre thinks at best, he can remove Jason’s memories from Drew, and he won’t recall anything before he came to Port Charles. At worst, he could have severe brain damage. He’s risking the ability to reason and feel, but he wants his own life without Jason’s memories. Jason asks what he can do, and Kim asks if he thinks Drew won’t listen because of Sam.

Sam asks if Curtis wants to open a PI firm and he’s inviting her to join him. He says he already has a thriving business, but there’s too much work to do it alone. She asks if he’s trying to recruit her before she’s his biggest competition. He says she knows how valuable a partner is, and it would be a smart move. Even their names sound great – Ashford and Caine. Sam messes with her ring, and tells him it’s McCall; she already filed paperwork to change it back. Curtis likes it even better – Ashford and McCall. She asks why his name is first, and he says it sounds better. He can also offer the argument that it’s alphabetical, like Lennon and McCartney. It was argued for years who was more talented and appealing, but both were brilliant, and more so together. She says it’s one of the best arguments she’s heard, and he asks if it worked. She says she doesn’t know. She has to talk to Drew. She has things to finalize with him, and a few loose ends tie up.

Drew asks if Peter wants him to break him out. Peter says he should know how; he did for his father. He can make the choice to be the man he was meant to be, or carry his brother’s memories. Drew tells him Andre has agreed to oversee the procedure, and wipe out Jason’s memories. Peter says, without the flash drive, there’s no way to restore Drew’s memories, but Drew says, who knows? Maybe they’re still there. Peter says maybe they’ll come back without Jason’s memories there, or he’ll have no mind at all. Drew says it’s a risk he’ll have to take. Peter says it would be an even trade; he’s making a mistake. Drew says he’s made a lot of them, but he’s not going to make the mistake of setting him free. He calls Peter Henrik, and tells him to enjoy his time there. He leaves, as Peter calls after him.

Obrecht is shocked, and Nina says there’s no question that Anna is Peter’s mother. She had the baby in secret, and gave it away. Valentin found out, and took the baby, giving it to Faison. He never told Faison that Anna was the mother. Obrecht says if Faison had known the baby was the product of a union with Anna, he would have been more obsessed. Peter never would have escaped. Nina tells her that Valentin said the same thing. Obrecht suggests they see the baby. They have a living reminder of her beautiful son, and Nina’s beautiful brother.

Lucas gives Julian a baby scrapbook, and says his mother’s thoughts are fuzzy about his grandparents. He asks if Julian could fill it in. Julian couldn’t be happier. Did Lucas think he’d turn him down? Lucas says he’d be within his rights; they asked him to keep his distance. Julian understands parents protecting their child. Lucas says they have to get the child before they can protect it. The birth mother could change her mind any time during the process. It’s far from a done deal. She could pull the rug out at any time.

Alexis wonders what Valentin is really up to, and he asks what he’d have to gain by lying? She tells him just because she doesn’t know his motive, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one. He says, spoken like a true Cassadine. No one knows the family better than he does. She says the family didn’t know he existed. Neither one of them had any meaningful contact with their father. Valentin says he’s a demon for research, and has learned a lot since living on the estate. She says it was left to him as a last resort. Their father would never have named his daughter as heir. He asks if she had wanted to inherit it, and she says, hell no, but he says it’s sweet to get validation, even if it’s too late. She asks why she’d want to resurrect Mikkos, and he says sometimes we’re drawn to what hurts us the most.

Kim says Jason’s personal life is none of her business, but Oscar is. Oscar needs Drew, and she wonders if part of why he wants the procedure is because of the of the break up. She can’t imagine what it’s like; which feelings are his or Jason’s. Jason wants nothing to do with it, but Kim asks if he can’t just try and tell him not to take the risk. He says it’s not his choice to make. Kim asks what he’d do in Drew’s place, and Jason says if the only way to be free is to risk everything, it would be worth it. He’d rather die than have someone else controlling him. Maybe Drew feels the same way.

Peter hears someone, and thinks it’s Drew, but it’s Sam. She bets he wasn’t expecting to see her. The only reason he’s alive is that he saved Jason’s life, and could have the answer to rebuild Drew’s. For that, and that alone, she’s grateful. He asks, how grateful?

Drew remembers talking to Jason at the gym, and saying when he looks in the mirror, all he sees is Jason. He doesn’t remember before 2013, but feels like he was there, and doesn’t want Jason’s baggage. He calls Andre, and says he knows what he wants to do.

Nina shows Obrecht the baby, and she marvels at his tininess. o the baby she marvels Deanna asks if Nina is checking on James again, and Nina says he’s quite the looker. Obrecht is thrilled that the baby is named James. She can’t conceive of a finer name.

Alexis tells Valentin that she can do research herself. He says, then he’ll take his leave, but asks her to consider his offer. She says she does excellent research on her own, and he says assuming she knows where to look. She blocked the memory of her mother’s murder. How much of her life is a mystery to her? She tells him to get his portfolio. She needs a full accounting of his assets.

Kiki tells Elizabeth she can’t confront David, but Elizabeth says they’ll take it to administration. Kiki says it will be her word against his, and she’ll be labeled a troublemaker. Elizabeth says that’s what he wants her to think. He’s hoping that her being scared keeps her silent, but he’ll hopefully roll over as soon as he’s called out. Kiki says maybe she misinterpreted him, but Elizabeth says he’s harassing her; there’s no other way to read it. He offered her his hotel room key. Elizabeth had a similar experience as a teen – not the rape – but she felt powerless, thinking the behavior was her fault. No one has the right to make her feel like that, and there’s no way to make it better except speaking up.

Kim asks if Jason thinks Drew is making the right choice, but he says it doesn’t matter. Kim says it does. The more she talks to him, the less he reminds her of Drew. If he’s patient, maybe Drew’s memories will come back on their own. Jason suggests she tell him that. She says if Jason is willing to die to be free, what would convince him otherwise? He says the people he loves. If Sam asked him not to; Sonny or Carly. Carly would tell him he couldn’t do it, because she needs him, and it wouldn’t be fair to risk leaving his kids. She’d tell him it sucks, but people live through worse. Kim asks if that would be enough. He says he can hear Carly in a way he can’t hear anyone else. Maybe Drew can hear her the same way. She says, maybe, and thanks him, saying he’s been a lot of help.

Peter tells Sam to listen carefully; there’s not much time. She says grateful isn’t the same as owing. He kept Drew’s life from him; he kept Jason away for five years. He asks, what about Scout? She’ll wonder why her father doesn’t smile or speak while he’s lying in the hospital. If Andre removes Jason’s memories, he has nothing to replace them with. He says to tell him not to risk it. He needs the flash drive.

Curtis sees Nina, and asks if she knows any nephews who need a teddy bear, and hands her one. He sees she’s teary, and asks if it’s about the baby. She says they’re good tears, and he asks what he’s missing. She says her husband turned out to be everything everyone warned her about; she’s divorcing him. He gives her a hanky. Is he related to Nathan too?

Julian understands Lucas is nervous, but there’s no reason to get worked up. Lucas says state law says the mother has thirty days to revoke the adoption. Julian is puzzled, asking how they’re expected to hold their breath, and not truly call the baby their own. Lucas doesn’t like it, but he gets it; it’s the law. It’s a semi-open adoption; she gets to know them, but they don’t get to know her. They knew the risk getting into it. They knew it could all fall apart. Julian doesn’t want to see him hurt, but Lucas says it’s not his family, and he’s not doing anything to screw it up.

Alexis looks at Valentin’s portfolio, and says it’s a lot of material. He’s worth a lot of money. He says he’ll pay double if she can get it done as quickly as possible. She says he’s going to have to discuss some things with Nina, but he tells her Nina isn’t in the frame of mind to take calls. She tells him amends are made through actions. She hopes he’s not doing this just to get on Nina’s good side.

Kiki asks Elizabeth if she thinks she should report David. Elizabeth says it’s not about her, but whatever Kiki decides, she’ll support her. Kiki says, even if she decides to be a coward? Elizabeth says what David is doing is wrong. She has every right to report him. She doesn’t need to, but by staying quiet, he’ll be emboldened to continue. Maybe not with her, but the next vulnerable person. Kiki says it will be her fault, but Elizabeth says, no. He’s responsible for his behavior; not her. She doesn’t want Kiki to carry regret. She’s not powerless. If she can find the strength to stand up to him, she can stop him. Kiki asks, what if no one believes her, and Elizabeth says, she does, and she’ll be by her side every step of the way. Kiki says, okay; let’s go.

Alexis looks at Mikkos’s picture. Julian calls, but she doesn’t answer.

Obrecht tells the baby it’s her, is oma. She says how beautiful he is, like his father. She gets teary, and says she’s so sorry she wasn’t there when he was born, but she’s there now, and will never be far again. As long as she’s in the world, he has nothing and no one to fear. She promises. She will make sure of it.

Valentin comes to Peter’s cell. Peter says, if it isn’t his old friend.

Drew sees Kim outside Kelly’s. She says she was thinking about their conversation earlier. He says, him too. He’d like to talk some more as soon as it’s all over. He just got off the phone with Andre, and they’re going ahead. The next time she sees him, he’ll be himself, and not anyone else. He leaves before she can say anything else.

On the phone, Jason tells Spinelli that Nelle had to buy the scarf somewhere. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Sam. She needs his help.

Tomorrow, Kiki files a complaint against David, Andre asks if Drew wants to reconsider, Sam wants Jason to help break Peter out, and Obrecht confronts Anna.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Still at dinner after the mystery party. Carol tells Bethenny she talks a lot. Bethenny says Carole is being whiny. Tinsley thinks their tone is off. Bethenny says they were in different place this summer, and she doesn’t need Carole lecturing her. They keep interrupting each other, and Carole gets up. In her interview, Sonja thinks it’s not getting anywhere. Carole isn’t articulating her point, and Bethenny is hurt. Carole insists Bethenny never told her about Adam refusing the trip to Houston. Bethenny says she called Carole, and said that Adam was an operator, and asked if they could be done with him. Carole says other people told her that Bethenny talked smack about Adam, but she never said anything about inviting him to Houston. In her interview, Carole says Bethenny is blatantly lying. Bethenny says she thought she pushed a button with Adam and went too far, and Carole told her everyone was an operator when it came to business. LuAnn interjects, and Carole says no one wants to hear her. LuAnn says Carole and Adam met in her kitchen, and brings up how he was dating her niece at the time; he is an operator. Ramona says it took him three years to operate, and LuAnn says, however long it takes, and calls him a little boy from the Midwest. Bethenny and Carole talk at the same time, which I hate. Carole whines that Bethenny never congratulated her on the marathon, but she called LuAnn a loser. LuAnn is like, what? Why? Bethenny says she doesn’t know and doesn’t know that she did. LuAnn says, if she’s a loser, the rest of the world is screwed. In her interview, she asks if she looks like a loser. She thinks she’s great. Carole calls Bethenny a phony. She thinks it’s okay to say what she has to say, but then she’s done. Carole asks if she’s playing the victim, and Dorinda yells that they can make it okay. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s not about who’s right or wrong, but that feelings were hurt, and why isn’t the friendship the same?

Carole thinks Bethenny doesn’t care enough about the friendship to come to terms with what was said. In her interview, Ramona says Bethenny only wants to understand her own POV, but she’s hurting inside. Bethenny tells Carole if she didn’t care about the friendship, she wouldn’t be tolerating the conversation; it’s ridiculous. She tells Carole not to act like she’s seven. They both get up. Bethenny feels betrayed. She might have thought LuAnn was a loser, but it was sh*tty of Carole to bring it up. LuAnn says it’s more sh*tty to say it in the first place. Bethenny says LuAnn has said bad things about her. LuAnn gets up and says she doesn’t care what Bethenny thinks, but kind of jokes around. Bethenny says they’ve all said negative things about each other at one time or another, but she didn’t expect that from Carole. In her interview, Carole says Bethenny can never admit she’s less than perfect. Carole tells Ramona that Bethenny wasn’t supportive of her running the marathon, and didn’t even give a donation, but she didn’t even say anything. Bethenny says, so much more came out than she’d intended originally. She says you can’t put toothpaste back in the tube. Now she can’t trust Carole. LuAnn says, no loser here, and tells them, ciao, bella. Then she realizes that’s Italian, and says, au revoir.

Ramona tells Carole that she felt their pain, but neither one of them was making sense. She knows they love each other. Bethenny is within earshot, and says Ramona is on stage because she’s there; that wasn’t what Ramona was saying a second ago. In her interview, Bethenny says Ramona thrives on others being in discord; she revels in it. Ramona says she knows their friendship, and this is upsetting to see. Dorinda brings out a birthday cake for herself, and everyone sings. Dorinda puts her face in the cake. In her interview, she says she had to do something to make them laugh, but didn’t consider the candles were in it. Now she has a new hairline. She does it again, and a third time for LuAnn. All in the name of distraction. She wants to get the party started, and puts her face in the cake again. LuAnn licks her. Someone says, one, two, three, and they all say, you made it nice.

LuAnn says she came for a fun night; let’s get on with the party. Bethenny tries to put on an elf jumpsuit, but Dorinda tries getting into it at the same time. They’re drunk and laughing, and Bethenny says she has a Santa suit. Dorinda says she owns Santa.

Carole tells Dorinda that Bethenny is crazy. She’s seeing through the lens of her own experience, like narcissists do. She never said anything about Adam. Bethenny walks in, and in her interview, Ramona says, forget a knife, you could cut the tension with a spoon. Dorinda says it’s not about her, and they should talk. Carole tells Bethenny that she doesn’t want to fight. They both said their piece. Bethenny doesn’t feel that way. Carole insists she heard about Houston from someone else. Bethenny thinks she must be missing something like a text. She didn’t just say, Adam sucks, out of the blue.

Tinsley says, the night is still young. Bethenny says Carole seems to be more into self-care. Carole is offended at being called selfish, but Bethenny tells her that she didn’t say that. She seems more self-involved, and she was letting Carole do Carole. She’s not mad at her. In her interview, Carole says Bethenny needs a reality check. She didn’t change who she is. LuAnn gives Ramona a lap dance. In her interview, Sonja says she loves the part of the party, where everyone is drunk and dry-humping. I don’t think I’ve been at a party like that since high school. Bethenny tells Carole she was too deep into her charity, with everyone depending on her, and Carole didn’t seem interested; which is fine. She says the conversation got to a ten, and Carole suggests they’ve brought it to a seven, but Bethenny doesn’t want it to be anything. Carole asks if there are more holiday PJs. Bethenny says Dorinda stole the other pair.

The Berkshires in the snow is absolutely gorgeous. LuAnn wakes up, saying, water. Everyone laughs at each other’s hair. LuAnn needs the spa. Bethenny says it’s like a bad lesbian porno flick. Dorinda tells them there’s a coffee station downstairs. In her interview, Dorinda says, strangely, everyone is in great shape. They’re tough bitches. Sonja shows Dorinda the before photos of their room. Bethenny says she’s feeling upset and emotional. It doesn’t matter who’s right. She doesn’t want Carole upset. She just wants to make it nice. Ramona tells Dorinda that they left it cleaner than when they came. Dorinda says she gets a star. She thinks they had success; everything is solid in the house, and maybe Carole and Bethenny got something out.

Contractor Leo arrives at Sonja’s. She doesn’t want to spend money, but has to, to make money. She tells Leo that she had sex on the sink in the staffroom, and it pulled off the wall. She’d like him to reattach it. She did glue the towel holder back though. He’s like, great.

Bethenny tries to start a fire in the apartment fireplace. It’s her version of an NYC holiday party. Tinsley is the first to show up, and Sonja follows. In her interview, Bethenny says Sonja is feeling herself. She’s always beautiful, but looks fresh as a daisy and knows it. Sonja tells Tinsley about wanting to move out, and not having a place yet; she’s allergic to construction. Tinsley says of course she can stay with her. Dorinda says three things happen every year: their trip to the Hamptons, their trip to the Berkshires, and Bethenny’s holiday party. The others trickle in. LuAnn is hosting a blood drive, and thanks Tinsley for her donation. Bethenny says she can’t come, but she’ll be sending something. Carole is the last to arrive, and the food starts happening. In her interview, Carole says she’s not feeling any better about Bethenny, but doesn’t want to escalate it. She also doesn’t want to hear any sh*t.

Bethenny tells everyone they’re playing white elephant, where if you don’t like your gift, you can claim another person’s gift. She says it should be called, screw over your best friend for a better gift. Carole says she’s keeping hers, but Bethenny says it’s not her choice, and passes out Santa hats. Dorinda thinks LuAnn’s gift is something she already gave to Ramona. Someone says there’s a special delivery, and Bethenny freaks out. It’s the nutcracker she’d wanted for Brynn, being carried by Dorinda’s decorator, Michael. He says there was only one in America. Bethenny says he found it, and Dorinda says, she did. In her interview, Dorinda says she isn’t the type to look for a thank you, but a little mention of her name would be nice. Carole can’t help noticing the irony, since Bethenny called out Tinsley for not being grateful to Sonja. Bethenny says Dorinda saved Christmas, so there’s that.

Ramona gets some beauty products, and says something about her own skincare line. Bethenny says she wasn’t expecting an infomercial. In her interview, Ramona thinks it would be nice if Bethenny would be more supportive. LuAnn says she’s going to Palm Beach for the holidays, and Sonja asks if Tom is going there for New Year’s. LuAnn has no idea. In her interview, Sonja says LuAnn has been avoiding Tom, and now she’s going back to the scene of the crime. LuAnn says she’s just going to be there for Christmas. Bethenny thinks he’s moved on, and has a busted-up girlfriend. LuAnn is like, what?Sonja says he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and Ramona says he has a different girlfriend every night, and Bethenny apologizes, saying Carole had said he did. LuAnn says, it’s history, but doesn’t want to talk about it. In her interview, Bethenny admits she was uncool all over the place by mentioning it. In her interview, LuAnn says, Tom should live under a rock. She can’t believe how fast he moved on with parading women around.

After the party, Bethenny, Tinsley, Ramona, and Sonja have a last drink. Bethenny thinks Carole looked sad. Ramona thinks it was just the long weekend, but Bethenny says Carole might be lonely without Adam, and not accessing her feelings.

LuAnn comes into the Red Cross for the blood drive she’s hosting. She’s gotten tight with them, and wanted to help collect blood for the holidays. Because they’ve been in Mexico in the last year, they can’t give blood, and she feels awful about it. Ooh, they have little shepherd’s pies. No orange juice and a cookie for these people. Bethenny sends a representative, who brings cash cards to give to those affected. Sonja asks Carole how she is, telling her the others thought she looked sad. LuAnn asks if she’s sad. Carole is miffed that they were talking about her.

Sonja chats with the donors. LuAnn asks about the nutcracker situation. She’d thought Michael got it. Dorinda says she’s dumbfounded. Carole says it was awkward. In her interview, Dorinda says she was excited about achieving something Bethenny couldn’t. It would have been nice to get a shout out. Carole asks Ramona about the feeling sad comment. Ramona says Bethenny mentioned she looked sad, and thought she was upset and lonely. Carole thinks Bethenny is talking about herself. She has a hard time maintaining and creating friendships. Painting her as sad over a breakup isn’t true. Carole says the only thing she’s sad about, is Bethenny not talking directly to her. Sonja demands a snack. Carole brings up Bethenny jumping on Ramona for her infomercial. Dorinda asks why they allow someone to speak to them like she does? In her interview, Ramona says Bethenny isn’t supporting any of them. They do the see you next year thing. In her interview, Tinsley says she’s glad to let Sonja stay wit her, and return the favor. Constipation is discussed, so I’ll skip that part.

Ramona is walking her dog when Bethenny calls. She says she’s unsettled and upset. She doesn’t have many girlfriends. Ramona interrupts, asking what’s her point? In her interview, Bethenny says Sonja told her there was a lot of whispering and negative talk about her at the Red Cross. She tells Ramona that she wanted to express how hurtful it was. She says Carole is good friend. She thinks there have been difficult moments with Ramona, and she’s done emotional damage. Ramona says she’s in a good place, and not dealing with this negativity. Bethenny says Ramona enjoys her arguing with Carole, and Ramona tells Bethenny not to blame her problem with Carole on her. Bethenny says she doesn’t have a problem with Carole, and Ramona asks why she’s talking about it then. Bethenny says it’s unacceptable to prey on the weak, and she doesn’t support women. Ramona says Bethenny is the one who doesn’t support women. She doesn’t acknowledge anybody for doing anything. And she had the audacity to jump on Ramona because she talked about her skincare line, saying she was doing an infomercial. She tells Bethenny about how upset Dorinda was about not being acknowledged. In her interview, Bethenny says she didn’t know she had to send a wax-sealed proclamation. Ramona says Bethenny’s problem is with herself, not her. She puts others down to make herself look good. She wants no part of it, and hangs up. I hate to say it, but I’m mostly on Ramona’s side with this one.

LuAnn’s realtor friend, Ann, comes over. LuAnn is thrilled with her apartment, a furnished penthouse on the upper west side. Yep. It’s incredible. Rich people’s digs. Ann says it’s the perfect spot for a new life; a new chapter. In her interview, LuAnn says her life is a clean slate, and she’s writing her own story. LuAnn says she’s going to have a good time here. In her interview, she says she’s going to visit her brother in Florida for the holidays. After that, she’s going to a wedding in Chile.

48 hours later. We’re in Florida, and hear sirens. LuAnn is in the back of a police car, saying she’s going to kill someone. She keeps trying to get out of the car, which I have to admit, is funny. It’s the recording of her holiday arrest. We see a news clip of her arraignment. The judge tells her the charges are serious, hire a lawyer, and stop drinking.

To be continued…

Next time, LuAnn isn’t proud, Tinsley can’t believe it, Tinsley tells Sonja her rules are no rules, and Bethenny asks Carole what she wants.

Below Deck Mediterranean

When we last left, Hannah was calling out João for not speaking to her properly. She tells him to sit the eff down, and Adam tells him to STFU. João sits, but calls her a goat.

Back on the boat, everyone has snacks. Hannah says she’s too old to be treated like this. Several of the crew sit on the floor, eating ice cream. João continues to act like a jerk, and Adam tells him to get out of the galley and go to bed. Conrad says he was going to diffuse the situation, but they didn’t need him. João asks what he did, and Adam says he caused a problem with Hannah. João doesn’t remember. Brooke likes having him to talk to, since she just broke up with her boyfriend. He gets in her bed, and tells her how amazing and hot she is. Hannah comes in for a millisecond, and comes back out.

Hannah hopes Kasey is able to pick up her own slack, now that she’s better. In his interview, João explains that he has an alter-ego, Jezabob, who comes out when he drinks to the blackout point. He’s never met him, but people say how he is, and he wouldn’t like him either. Adam tells João that he called Hannah a goat.

The unpredictable weather is acting up. Colin doesn’t think João is very professional, and says he’d better not pull that stuff on deck. Brooke calls her mom. Brooke is the one who outed her dad with his online activities, and they’re there for each other. She cries about her ex, and her mother tells her not to get bogged down by stupid men. A lesson for us all. She tells her mom about João, and how she blushes when he speaks to her. She says last night they admitted they like each other. But will he remember?

João says Hannah thinks it’s all about her. No, she’s probably just ignoring you, so she doesn’t punch you. Colin doesn’t want to mess up, because it makes the whole crew look bad. However, if he looks good, the whole crew looks good. Wow. A lot of weight on his shoulders.

The primary is Jennifer, a friend of Captain Sandy’s, who does vaginal rejuvenation. A topic I will never, ever be able to get away from. The captain says it’s a shorter charter, but there’s bad weather coming, and they’re going to have to stay docked. She does not want to look bad, and tells them to figure it out, and thinks of some creative things. She’s going to be hovering. In her interview, Hannah says when they’re on the water, they can entertain the guests with water toys, but when they’re at the dock, interior has to step up. Captain Sandy suggests taking them out on the tender, so they can pretend to be on the water. Hannah sees the preference sheet says Jennifer wants to work out with a hot Italian trainer.

Brooke asks João if he remembers their conversation, and he says, some of it. He’s lying. She says they both admitted had chemistry, and it’s too hard if he’s flirting all the time. She wants him to stop; she wants to focus on work. He says he’ll try. Kasey asks if she can wash red shirts with underwear. In her interview, Hannah says it’s definitely a problem, which is the last thing she needs, especially when they’re not getting off the dock.

Captain Sandy goes over what the deckhands are supposed to be doing. Jamie hopes Kasey is okay, so she doesn’t have to work the interior. João tells Kasey about his alter ego. Conrad and Hannah go for a smoke, and lie on the dock, getting sun. Hannah asks what he’s doing after, and he wants to buy his first house. In his interview, Conrad says he learned early on from his parents about equity. They flipped houses, did well, and he doesn’t want yachting to be his life. Hannah says she has a nice shoe collection.  Kasey hopes prove herself, and Brooke says there’s no chance of seasickness, since they’ll be on the dock. Kasey hopes to show she can pull her weight. Putting red anything in with underwear is not the way. Adam makes a tart. That’s not a euphemism for anything; he makes a dessert. Hannah calls for the trainer. She’s also set up a pizza making course on shore, and confers with Adam on accompanying dishes.

The captain says Jennifer is her friend, and she wants them to do a great job. She tells Adam to knock it out of the park, because she’s still stuck on baseball references. He says he’s going to make a lot of sweet stuff. Sandy asks if they can launch the tender, but Conrad says no boats are leaving, and they’ll be stuck in the dock. In her interview, Captain Sandy explains they can’t launch the tender, because there are boats on both sides. She asks why he didn’t offload previously, since she told him too. We see a clip, and yes, she did. Captain Sandy is officially pissed. Conrad says not being on top of things sux. The captain thanks Jamie for helping with the interior, and tells her that she’ll be helping this charter woo. Jamie is like, sh*t! The captain says Jennifer will be having a birthday party, and she’s thinking rap style.  Colin is used to performing, but not rap. Hannah tells Kasey about last minute clean-up. Captain Sandy tells them to keep an eye on the cushions. The wind is kicking up.

The guests arrive, and Jennifer is overly friendly. Captain Sandy says she wants it special, even though they can’t leave the dock. Jennifer is clearly disappointed, but the captain says she saw the waves. Jennifer says she sees the sun, and Captain Sandy says the crew will make sure they have blast. Hannah apologizes for the weather, and gives the tour. Jennifer asks if the boat needs a resident GYN. Hannah is thinks that would be cool. Adam says he’s going to go above and beyond the preference sheet. His goal is to keep Sandy happy. Kasey irons. João bothers her. In her interview, Kasey thinks she’s doing great job, because not getting yelled at. João gives her ironing hints. Jamie says it’s Murphy’s Law. She still can’t do deck stuff. Captain Sandy tells the guests they’ll make sure they have fun. I’m wondering why they can’t get off the boat and sit in a tender somewhere else. Brooke is having a problem dealing with João. In her interview, Hanna says he’s pissed her off. Until she gets an apology, she doesn’t have much to say.

The waves get higher. Adam tells João that he has a grass is always greener complex. João talks about blackouts. Jennifer gives Captain Sandy a device called The Womanizer, and tells her that she has homework to do. They goof around, and I don’t want to know. Colin goes over his rap lyrics. In his interview, he says people assume because he went to music school, he can spin hot fire. Obviously, they’re right. João suggests they have one person up all the time for security reasons. It’s how they did it on other boats he’s worked on. Conrad isn’t really concerned about that.

The group goes on the pizza making expedition. Adam says they didn’t take salads. He did all that work for nothing. Hannah informs us that the margarita pizza was invented in Naples. My first “real” job was being a short order cook in an Italian restaurant, and I made pizzas. I never did get the hang of spinning the dough in the air like these guys are doing. Everyone goes, oooh, every time it lands. Hannah suddenly remembers the salads, and goes out in the rain with Conrad, only to find the salads aren’t in the car. She’s not happy.

The captain tells Kasey the floor is a mess. Kasey swears she did them. Captain Sandy tells Kasey to come with her (you know that’s bad when a superior says, come with me). In her interview, the captain thinks if they can’t grasp basic duties, their leader should be showing them.

Hannah orders some sides off the menu. She feels like she’s running in circles, trying to keep everyone happy and entertained. The food looks fantastic. João tells Hannah that he’s sorry; when under stress, they have to work together. She says there’s no point in rehashing it; they’re cool. In her interview, she says she’s letting bygones be bygones, but hopes it’s not a pattern.

Adam makes a bunch of amazing desserts. The guests bring back take out from the pizza place. Conrad is annoyed that João has been trying to undermine him, since he’s been yapping to everyone else about how they should have someone on watch 24/7. In her interview, Jamie says João should know his place. They have a hierarchy for a reason. The Italian beefcake comes, and Hannah says she should have asked for picture. This is not what she ordered. He looks like Harvey Keitel. Colin rehearses his rap. João bugs Conrad about the security thing again, insisting it’s standard procedure. Conrad says he’s been in yachting three years, and João is inexperienced.

Jennifer doesn’t seem to mind the bodybuilder’s looks. Yep, she thinks he’s cute. Colin asks if he can use Kasey’s talents for his performance. Jennifer tells the trainer to let her know if her nipple pops out. Really? You exercise in something that makes you concerned about that? Adam says it’s going to be like King Arthur’s Italian Palace tonight. The guests get ready for Jennifer’s birthday. Jennifer begs Captain Sandy to let her wear her shoes for dinner. The captain talks to Hannah about her cabin not being clean. Kasey tells Hannah that she forgot. In her interview, Hannah says they’ve been covering Kasey’s ass while she was sick. Now it’s time to work. The décor is on the cute side of pretty, with lots of balloons, pink being the predominant shade. João flirts with Brooke. Adam repurposes the salads. Captain Sandy eats with the guests. Hannah thanks the Lord for Brooke, and the food just keeps on coming. Adam presents the lasagna, and explains the entrees, getting applause for his efforts. The guests are especially loving the truffle white sauce. Conrad talks to Hannah, saying no one stays up all night on a yacht, and Hanna asks when João is going to stop going over his head.

Hannah is frustrated with Kasey, and in her interview, says you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t drown them. Colin practices his birthday rap. Adam says his desert spread would rival Willy Wonka’s factory. The cake is presented, the Happy Birthday topper twinkling with small lights. The crew starts to sing, and Colin interrupts, saying they’re not doing that boring birthday song. He asks Kasey for some beats. He raps, and Kasey says, the dude has flow. The guests applaud. Hannah says the cabins better be on point tonight.

Conrad talks to João on the deck. He understands the safety concern, but when he says something, he doesn’t want it questioned. João says he’s going to question the security of the boat. Conrad says the questioning isn’t the problem, it’s what he said to the other two deckhands. Conrad tells him to never undermine what he’s said in front of the others. João says, It’s not a matter of questioning authority, but he needs to understand why. They shake hands, but I don’t think João gets it. The guests go to bed.

Conrad helps Hannah get all the dents and crap from Jennifer’s shoes out of the carpet. Hannah can’t believe Conrad chose to crawl around in the main salon with her instead of going to bed.

The next morning, Adam makes custom breakfasts. Brooke is doing the service by herself, and doesn’t feel there’s an equal balance. IMO, there are far too many Cokes ordered at breakfast. Adam says everyone expects him to cook all this random sh*t in a matter of minutes; people assume he can just whip it all up. Brooke wants a rocket up Kasey’s ass. Conrad says everything is a pissing contest with João. He can’t believe João has survived in yachting this long. Captain Sandy keeps ordering more food, and gets pissed when the toast doesn’t come fast enough. She says they’re on a super yacht, and thinks Hannah needs to tighten up the interior. Hannah has to do charter three preference sheets, but the captain thinks she should help the others. It’s not fair to the rest of the crew to do preference sheets while there are still guests on board. She tells Hannah that breakfast service sucked. Hannah says she was up until four a.m., and has blisters from the spoon she was using on the carpet. Captain Sandy says she’s the face of the interior. Hannah promises she’s trying her best, and leaves in tears. She tries to block the camera with her hand.

I gotta say it. I love Captain Sandy, but as a whole, I like the Captain Lee group on the original show better. Kudos to the Captain Sandy’s friends for being the nicest, easiest going charter guests ever, but so far, the obnoxious guests have been the most interesting thing this season.

Next time. Jamie cries, Hannah and Conrad crush on each other, João confronts Conrad, and Captain Sandy says it’s the worst service she’s ever seen on charter.

💰 On Sell it Like Serhant, Ryan’s task was to help Lisa, a commercial real estate broker. He said since real estate is his area of expertise, you’d think it would be easy, but the difference between selling commercial and regular real estate is like apples and steak. She was the only woman in an all-male office, and Ryan agreed that real estate as a whole was a boys’ club. Raising three kids alone, Lisa had left the corporate world, believing real estate had more growth potential, and also flexible hours. She couldn’t pay her mortgage, her boss was on the verge of firing her, and she had no Plan B. And I don’t mean birth control. Ryan said commission-based jobs can be scary, which is why I’ve never wanted one. Even more than her not being aggressive enough, was her use of um… when talking to clients. I almost couldn’t take it. Judge Judy would have gone out of her mind. Ryan taught her to shake her bad habits, brag about her experience in her previous field (she hadn’t closed on one listing yet), and focus on the best use of the building, so the client could envision the marketing angle. While Lisa thought she should downplay her mom role in life, Ryan told her to play it up. He had Lisa do a photo shoot, where he told her to work it mom boss style, and she did. She also got a makeover, and Ryan told a story about having absolutely no wardrobe when he started, and how his father bought him his first pair of good shoes. He still has them.

The moment was tense when Lisa began her make-or-break pitch. Ryan and her boss stayed out of sight, but watched by phone. The client liked what she had to say, she made great recommendations for the use of the space, and only used um… once. The client’s main concern was her lack of experience, and her saying she would be able to concentrate fully on the listing didn’t help. She told him that he wouldn’t just be hiring her, but her whole team, and talked about how they work together. He wanted to give her a 60-day trial period, where if it wasn’t sold in that time, he could move on. Both Ryan and her boss thought she should agree, but she didn’t. And she wouldn’t budge. She told him that she didn’t want to get to a point in a sale, only to hand it to someone else. To all of our amazement, he agreed to list the space with her. Ryan got so excited, he ran out to congratulate her, almost giving both her and the client a heart attack. He said she was a new Lisa, and she went from zero to hundreds of followers on her social media. I can imagine how many more she got after the show. Next time, a struggling body lotion salesgirl. While watching the preview, it occurred to me that Ryan is like Gordon Ramsay. He has to wear many hats, including therapist and stylist. Apparently, Brandi Glanville has tweeted that this is the only show that can make her cry, and she hadn’t even liked Ryan.

🍹 Southern Charm New Orleans will be wrapping it up this Sunday. I’ve decided the difference between Charleston and NOLA is like that between New Hope, PA and NYC. Both great cities, but with a totally different vibe. Speaking of NYC, Million Dollar Listing New York premieres the new season on June 4th at 10 pm.

🚁 Until Next Time (Pick One)…




May 23, 2018 – Valentin is in Hell, Mystery in the Berkshires, Explosive Star Finale & Pup Noses


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

At the station, Robert says he has to debrief Peter/Henrik.

Finn tells Anna, if it’s any consolation, no one else saw that Peter was Henrik either. Anna says he was hiding in plain sight.

Lulu asks what want Valentin wants. He says he’s here for his wife and daughter. She tells him that Nina is already gone and Charlotte is asleep.

Nina goes into Maxie’s room. She says it was all she could do to tear herself away from the baby. The nurses said his vitals are good and he’s well-developed for his age. Maxie can tell there’s something else. Nina says he reminds her of Nathan. He was a big baby, but the nurses said the same thing, that he was well-developed for his age. Maxie says she felt Nathan there, giving her the strength to pull through and give birth al fresco. She wishes he was there. She says Peter really pulled through, and she’s not sure why he didn’t come to see the baby.

Sam and Jason show up at the station, and Robert says his key witnesses are there. Chase asks what charges are being pressed, and Henrik says he wants to press charges. Jason tried to kill him; he knocked Henrik down, and held him at gunpoint. Robert says he threatened to kill Anna. He tells Chase that the WSB is going to lay out the procedure. Chase asks what Jason is doing there, and Sam says he knows for a fact that Jason is Henrik.

Anna guesses Finn has a lot of questions about how she came to have a baby with Faison. He says his questions aren’t important, but she says he’s important. She pushed him away because she didn’t want him added to the list of people she cared about being in danger. She says Griff was right; she’s a coward. She was terrified to let him see her for who she was. He told her, in case she missed it, he’s made his fair share of mistakes. He’s in no position to judge anyone. She thinks he might change his mind. She explains Faison’s obsession with her started when they were teenagers. His mother was her nanny, and he became fixated with her. She eventually became a cadet at the WSB academy, and he was already high up in the DVX. She thought she could set him up, but misjudged the situation, and wound up pregnant. She compromised herself, and trashed her career before it started. Eventually, she found a solution she thought would work, but she was wrong.

Valentin says Nina misread some things, and Dante says he was led away in handcuffs at the Nurses’ Ball. Valentin tells him the charges were baseless and they let him go. Lulu says he kept Peter’s identity a secret, but Valentin tells her that he respected Peter’s privacy. He was escaping a father who didn’t give a damn about him. Dante says maybe Valentin didn’t give a damn about Nathan, but his wife did. He had to cover his own ass when Nathan died. Lulu says Peter wasn’t helping her, he just wanted to know what she knew, in case she got too close. Valentin is sure she’ll find her next big story. He says he’ll let Charlotte sleep, and pick her up from school tomorrow. Lulu thinks he should hold off on that until he sees how he stands with Nina. He says, we’ll see, and leaves. Dante says he’s in for a surprise, and asks Lulu what she was talking about regarding Peter.

Maxie tells Nina there was no time to panic. She just had to remember the birthing classes and trust her instincts. Nina says she brought natural childbirth to life. Maxie says she couldn’t have done it without Peter. Nina says, if nothing else, she’s grateful for that. Maxie thought she was okay with Peter, and Nina says she’s tired and emotional. She’s going to go and give Maxie time to rest. Outside Maxie’s room, she leans against the wall and takes some deep breaths.

Kiki and Griff go back to his room. She says she doesn’t know why they came back there, when they had the ballroom all to themselves. He wants to call room service for some coffee, but Kiki wants more champagne, and pulls out a bottle. Griff thinks she’s had enough, and she says, just enough. Just enough for the world to glisten at the edges. She’s not hammered or sloppy. She could have worked off by dancing. She asks if he dances, and Griff says, some. Kiki tells him most guys are hopeless; it’s a shame. Every independent woman remembers watching Beauty and the Beast or Cinderella and pretending to waltz around in a ballgown. Then they grow up, and guys aren’t into the waltz. She says, that’s life. Even dreams that come true can disappoint.

Sam tells Peter that he forgot to put his name down as Henrik Faison on his resume, and it’s fraud. Chase asks if she’s willing to press charges, and Robert says the Bureau is in charge. Henrik says Jason is going to claim he was held prisoner for five years, but he saved Jason’s life.

Anna tells Finn that she didn’t want to see the infant, and the midwife arranged for an illegal adoption. She said it would be a loving family, and Anna believed and trusted her. She never thought about it again. She starts to cry, and takes Finn’s hand. She says, another person knew. They took baby, and gave him to Faison. Finn says, Faison had no idea she was his mother. He was rambling on about her being his destiny, and couldn’t have known. Anna says, he never knew. As feeble as it sounds, it was the one gift she could give herself.

Nina arrives at Windemere. Valentin is sitting on the floor next to the fireplace, drinking. She says she’s only there to pack. Valentin asks if she’ll listen, and she says, why? So he can lie some more? He always knew, and if he’d warned anyone, her brother might be alive. Valentin tells her, no one can say that. His father was crazy. Nina says he went to Crimson for Peter, not Maxie. Valentin says, Peter didn’t shoot him, and he tried to protect Maxie. Nina asks if Valentin is saying Peter is an innocent victim. He says, not innocent, but a victim. She tells him not to ask her to feel sorry for Peter, and he says he’s asking for empathy. If she hears the story, parts of it might sound familiar.

Henrik says he changed his name to escape his father. Faison was the head of the DVX, and then became an individual contractor. He shot Jason, and although the body was never recovered, Jason was presumed dead. Faison kept Jason in a clinic in Russia, and coerced him into helping. His father ordered him to kill Jason. It would have been easy; he was heavily sedated, but he wouldn’t do it. He betrayed his father, and risked his own life to save Jason. Sam says he paid Klein to keep him prisoner, and then to hunt him down after he escaped. Chase says he knows Jason doesn’t want to talk without his attorney, but it would save time if he can corroborate anything.

Jason says Henrik’s father shot him in October of 2012. He woke up in 2017 in a Russian clinic – in restraints. They were drugging him, and when he resisted, they drugged him more. There was no medical attention going on. Chase says, but he’d been shot, and Jason says, Henrik paid to have him kept prisoner, and then followed. Henrik says he understands this is about misguided revenge. Jason says he was threatening Anna. Peter says Jason hit him in the head, and he could have a concussion. Chase says he’ll personally escort Henrik to GH, and to get a cell ready for when he comes back. They’ll be holding him pending investigation. Sam gives Henrik a Dragon Lady glare.

Anna tells Finn that whatever unkindness or neglect Peter suffered, it would have been worse had he been the focus of Faison’s obsession. Finn says he told himself she was playing a game with Faison, using his guilt, even though he didn’t know the real reason. Anna says she should feel guilty; she should have kept track of the baby. If she had, Peter’s life would have been completely different. Her phone rings. It’s Robert. Robert tells her that Henrik is on his way to GH; he’s convinced them that he needs medical attention. Anna asks if he’s all right, and Robert says, it’s a stall. Anna tells Finn that her son has been taken to GH for medical attention. Robert thinks it’s a stall, but he could be hurt. Finn says he’ll go. He asks if she’ll be okay, and she says she is okay, and he leaves. She asks if Robert is still at the PCPD. He tells her that they’ll need a statement from her, and she says she’ll be there soon. She has something to take care of first.

Sam wonders why Henrik would want to go to the hospital, and Jason says he’s hoping to escape. She asks if Jason thinks he’ll pull it off. Jason says they should see if that detective knows what he’s doing. Sam says if there’s nothing wrong, what’s the point, and then says, Maxie is there. They run out of the station.

Drew stops by Maxie’s room, and she shows him the baby on the tablet. Drew says he’s a handsome little guy, and congratulates her. She wonders if Kim is still there. Drew says he was going to wait and give her a ride home, but he thinks he’s going home. I hope he tells her first. He asks if there’s anything he can do. Maxie says it’s not his job, but he tells her it’s good business practice. Without her, Nina would bankrupt Crimson. Drew says he’ll run interference while she’s out.

Griff doesn’t think he’s ever drunk champagne straight out of the bottle. Kiki says he’s long overdue. He says, here goes nothing, and takes a swig.

Valentin tells Nina he’d been doing work for Faison. It was highly illegal work, for which he was highly paid. He had a lot of medical bills, so he couldn’t be choosy. He met Faison’s son when he came home from boarding school, a shy ten-year-old, desperate for approval and attention from his father. He’d invited his father back to Bern to see a play he was in. Faison laughed, and mocked him in front of Valentin. Henrik was devastated. Valentin went, and Henrik was thrilled for the support. Thus began their lifelong friendship. Nina says, so what? Being a lonely kid doesn’t excuse what he turned out to be. Valentin says, no it doesn’t, but she can see the struggle, especially being in his father’s shadow. Valentin offered what advice he could, but they eventually lost touch. Henrik was working for his father, reached out. He wanted help to change his identity, and start again. Faison was poison, and he needed to escape. When he came to Port Charles, Valentin protected his secret because he owed him. Nina understands feeling sorry for him, but how did Valentin owe him? Anna bangs on the door. Valentin doesn’t want to let her in, but Nina wants to hear what she has to say. Anna storms in, saying it’s been three decades, but he finally got what he wanted. Her son almost shot her tonight.

Anna had thought her son with Faison was a secret, but to him. He says he’s thought she was a horrible, heartless liar who slept with Faison to further career, and cast aside her child like useless luggage. He tracked the family and threatened them, until they handed over the baby. She calls him an SOB, and grabs his neck.

Lulu tells Dante that after she wrote the article, she got a lot of emails from people claiming to be Henrik, but only one seemed credible. He was interested in meeting to tell his side of the story. She was working with Anna, and ran everything past her. Dante says she didn’t run it by him, and she says she agreed to keep their careers separate. He asks, other than Anna and Valentin, who else did she tell? She says, Peter. He tells her, congratulations. She confided in the guy who was setting her up.

Kiki tells Griff that she went to cotillion three years straight to learn to waltz. Griff has a confession to make – he knows how to waltz. He was also dragged to cotillion; his mom’s friend needed a dance partner. He learned to fox trot, tango, and waltz. Kiki says, prove it. Um… some music would be good. They dance without it, and he twirls her around. They kiss, and I make a sound between, ooh, and uh-oh.

Sam and Jason get to the hospital, where Maxie is in a wheelchair, and asks if they want to tag along to see the baby. Henrik is coming through near the nurses’ station, and Maxie wonders why he’s in handcuffs. Henrik asks if it’s possible for him to speak to her, and in a world only on the soaps, Chase agrees, and they’re given privacy. He tells Maxie he failed to disclose his real name. She doesn’t understand, and he says, Peter is the name he chose for himself. His father named him Henrik. She says, no, and he says, he’s Henrik Faison.

Anna pushes Valentin. She says her son has every right to hate her and want revenge. He had no right to use her child. Why not go all the way and tell Faison?  Valentin says he finally had leverage, and kept it in reserve. She says they’re talking about a little boy he handed over to a monster. Nina agrees. She thought he’d never hurt a child; it was his saving grace. He says he made a mistake. Nina says some mistakes you can’t take back. He says he continued to work for Faison, so he could keep an eye on Henrik. It didn’t take long to see he’d never escape his father. Anna says, protecting him, very noble, if she believed him. He says he made a terrible mistake, and is haunted by it every day. He asks if she thinks she knows what it’s like to go to bed every night, wishing he could make amends, but being a failure. He knows something about that. She tells him to go to hell, and walks out. He says he’s already there.

Dante tells Lulu that he’s leaving for work. She thinks they should talk. He asks, about what? About how she learned nothing from Nathan’s death? Peter appealed to her vanity or something. She says it’s her job to investigate. He says, then investigate. Don’t just take lies her boss is feeding her. Although he probably won’t be her boss much longer. Maybe she should write a story about that.

Henrik tells Maxie that he knows it’s a lot to take in, but please believe he never had an agenda; he wanted to help. The more he got to know her, the more he cared. She says, Faison wasn’t there for her; she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Faison was after him. Henrik says, yes. Maxie asks to go back to her room. Henrik says he’s sorry, but she doesn’t care. Henrik is led away.

Sam tells Drew that Henrik paid the man at Faison’s bank to leave the letters in a drop. One of the envelopes had the flash drive in it. He could have it; a way to restore his memory. Drew says he’s not going to rely on Peter, or Henrik, or whatever his name is. He and Andre are figuring it out. He wants to be Drew, with no trace of Jason. He leaves. Sam tells Jason that Drew might not want the flash drive, but she sure as hell does.

Oh wow. Griff and Kiki get busy. There’s a song part… and Sam gets in the elevator. She and Jason gaze at each other, then he gets in with her. Lulu types on her laptop while she cries. Valentin drinks. Nina walks in with her suitcase, looks at him, goes to the door, takes a last look, and leaves. Valentin dumps the glass over, no doubt wasting some very good bourbon. Anna goes to the station. She takes Robert’s hand. He holds her as she cries. Peter is examined.

Maxie lies in bed, thinking about Peter giving her the baby wrapped in his tuxedo jacket.

Two of my guys knocked out in one episode.

Tomorrow, Julian visits Alexis, Diane says Carly is more out of control than she’s willing to admit, and Nelle tells Josslyn that she and Michael are getting closer.

The Real Housewives of New York City

It’s Christmastime. Dorinda shops for the weekend in the Berkshires. Her house is totally Christmased up. She says the Berserkshires are here. Carole and Ramona arrive first. Dorinda says she wants a relaxed, fun night before everyone else gets there. She describes her decorations as old world meets new world meets kitsch. She has an old-fashioned TV set with an animated Christmas scene inside, and it’s one of the most amazing, coolest decorations I’ve ever seen. Like her own personal Lord & Taylor window.

Facialist Satoko goes to Sonja’s to give her some treatments. Satoko is miffed that Sonja rehomed one of her dogs and the cat. In her interview, Sonja says her life is complicated. She worried about everything, including the pets, and needed it to be simpler. It’s better for them, but hard on her. Satoko asks who she’s having sex with now, and they talk about the disadvantages of hooking up with two men at the same time. Satoko thinks you must have 24-hour downtime in between.

Dorinda, Carole, and Ramona go out for dinner. Carole asks if somebody actually gets murdered at the mystery party. Ramona says Sonja is like the old Sonja, funny and light. In her interview, Ramona thinks it will be a time thing with Dorinda and Sonja. Carole asks about Bethenny, saying she thinks Bethenny is being distant after she got upset with Carole at the dinner. She’s seemed aggressive. In her interview, Carole thinks it’s strange that Bethenny isn’t reaching out or making plans. Something is going on. Dorinda agrees something isn’t as comfortable as it used to be. Carole thinks it has something to do with support for Bethenny’s charity, but she made a matching donation. Dorinda says Bethenny was bummed out about Adam. Carole says Adam told her, but Bethenny never said anything, She wonders why Bethenny would hold a grudge against her. In her interview, Carole says he chose to let it go, but Bethenny was talking behind her back about it. She’s never known Bethenny not to be direct. She says every level of the story sucks. They’ve argued, but privately. Ramona says Carole used to be more cerebral, but has been speaking her mind more.

The girls come down for breakfast. Carole and Ramona marvel over Dorinda’s bed linens.

Bethenny says she put the B in Berkshires, and we flash back to her berating LuAnn, and the argument with Ramona. She’s in such a good mood, nothing can ruin it. Oh, just wait.

Carole gives Dorinda a personalized makeup turban for Christmas, and also a Donald Trump chia pet. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s the gift that will keep on giving. Ramona plays with the snow globes. Bethenny arrives. Dorinda promises to help with a search for an FAO Schwarz nutcracker for Brynn. Bethenny asks where Carole is, and Carole magically appears. Bethenny gives her an All I Want for Christmas is a New President sweatshirt. In her interview, Carole says he wants a conversation with Bethenny, but Bethenny is acting like it’s all good, so she’s doing the same. Bethenny is wearing a Chilling with My Snowmies shirt, and Ramona doesn’t get the play on words. Bethenny tells Carole not to give her any hints, but Carole blurts out, homies. Ramona still doesn’t get it, since she doesn’t know what homies are.

The rest arrive, and there’s another big discussion about Bethenny’s shirt. In her interview, Carole says it doesn’t matter what time it is, single LuAnn wants the party started. Dorinda announces there are rules of engagement this year. Housekeeper Len works for her, and if need something done, come to her. In her interview, Dorinda says if they know the rules, they won’t break them – hopefully. She tells them, don’t touch other people’s stuff. Don’t take it, or wear it. Respect the home. As she’s talking, we flash back to when these rules were broken. She says it isn’t Girls Gone Wild or the Playboy mansion. It’s the home she loves and cherishes. With that said, welcome. Sonja says she’s on her best behavior, and brought her own slippers and PJs. The last thing she wants is to be ostracized.

Luann and Sonja share a room. LuAnn hangs decorations on the fish hanging on the wall. Sonja takes pics to cover her ass in case there’s damage. Everyone gets ready for the party. In her interview, Dorinda explains that she’s a temperance leader, trying to bring Prohibition to Massachusetts, but doesn’t practice what she preaches. There will be actors coming, and at some point, a murder.

Rhett, the butler, shows up, along with the manor owner, Freddy Feathersby, and his assistant, Aiden.  He’s made his money from selling feathers to showgirls, and all of the characters have a vested interest in him. Anyone could be murdered.

Tinsley is the rich neighbor; whose daddy makes money while she spends it. Carole tells her about Bethenny’s beef with Adam, saying it’s not her style to talk to someone else about it. She’s going to have a couple of tequilas and see how it goes.

Sonja is an accountant who cooks the books Sonja loves a costume theme, and the men, although there could be a few more. Bethenny is the brains behind operation, because Featherby is an idiot. In her interview, Bethenny says they’re the same bitches; different era. Carole is a woman running for congress. She has a cigarette in a holder, and in her interview, Bethenny says Carole has taken up smoking through the façade of costume.

Ramona tells Featherby that when he left the room, his assistant said he hated him. Sonja says he told her his life would be easier without him around. Ramona tells Featherby that he surrounds himself with the wrong people. In her interview, Bethenny says there’s Ramona, telling secrets. Finally, her being an a-hole is helpful.

Rhett explains how it works, and that no one should really call the police. LuAnn is late, and strolls in being a French something-or-other. Aiden starts choking, and drops to the floor. They make a pretense of trying to help, but he’s dead. Featherby suggests the go to the dining room to discuss. Sonja points out that they’re a man down for dinner. Featherby talks about calling the police, and Tinsley says her experience with the police has been bad, making everyone laugh. Featherby says he would have never murdered his faithful assistant, so someone in the room did. They toast to Aiden, but then Featherby starts to choke. Despite their best efforts, he too, is dead. Rhett reveals that he’s actually a cop. He thinks he knows who committed the crime. The “body” carted off, and Sonja says now there are no guys for dinner. Bethenny makes a toast that, men may come and go, but strong women last forever.

Rhett tells everyone that Aiden poisoned Featherby’s drink before he died. Dorinda is starving, and reveals that she did it. Rhett says she’s too rich to go to jail, and presents her with a bottle of Dom Perignon. Everyone applauds. Bethenny suggests that next year, somebody should really kill somebody, but the night is young.

They talk about Heather Thomas living close by, and Ramona gripes about her house having no air conditioning. Bethenny confronts Ramona about saying she called Carole a puppet. In her interview, Ramona says those might not have been her exact words, but what she said wasn’t a compliment. Moving right along, Ramona brings up the tension in the group, saying they all feel it, but she’s the only brave one. Carole says the vibe is off. Bethenny says there’s been a shift in the group, and Carole doesn’t understand. In her interview, Carole says, so much for easing it in.

Carole asks Bethenny, if she had a problem, why didn’t she come to her? Bethenny says she didn’t have a problem. Carole says she thought Bethenny was upset because of Carole’s lack of support for her charity. Bethenny says she doesn’t need Carole’s support. In her interview, Bethenny say that she never heard from Carole about it, and she didn’t seem interested. Carole says Page Six contacted her about a story that they were feuding, and she killed it. Now she’s hearing rumblings that it might be true. Bethenny had told her that she thought Dorinda was the source. Dorinda swears she never called Page Six. In her interview, Bethenny says she told Carole that in confidence, and asks if she’s not safe with Carole now. Carole brings up Adam, and Bethenny gets all hung up on the details. Carole calls her honey, which Bethenny doesn’t find amusing. Carole doesn’t like the vibe, and accuses Bethenny of avoiding the topic by concentrating on the minutiae. In her interview, Ramona says the rest of them don’t have the verbal skills to spar with Bethenny, and usually give up. Carole is on top of it. In her interview, Tinsley says she feels like a child; they shouldn’t be there. Carole says she loves Bethenny, but Bethenny doesn’t seem to feel the same way.

To be continued…

Next time, Bethenny is done, Dorinda puts her face in a cake, Dorinda owns Santa, and Bethenny gets a big surprise.


This episode started thirty days before the tour, and counted down.

Everyone was ready to celebrate Take 3’s first album. It was announced that Noah would be co-headlining with Gigi on the tour, and Take 3 would open. While celebrating at the salon, they heard Star’s I Was There track on the radio. Miss Lawrence suggested the knives be hidden. Star said she was just venting; it wasn’t supposed to come out. Alex wasn’t having it, and she and Star had a knockdown drag out. Star confronted Maurice, saying she wanted a hit, but not like this; she was tired of men taking advantage. Maurice said she was about to be the hottest piece of the Take 3 puzzle. Carlotta, Cassie, and Cotton went through Jahil’s studio, and Cassie promised to find out who did this.

After Noah got drunk and arrested, Carlotta said he needed a handler. Noah said she needed to know her place. She told him to sit his ass down, and he fired her.

Charles worried about getting kicked out, but didn’t believe Ayanna could run the company. Star’s single took off, and Ayanna told Maurice he saved his job. Carlotta said he was enabling Noah, and Take 3 was torn apart because of what he released. Maurice told Carlotta he was picking up her slack.

Cassie told Andy she wasn’t playing around, and threatened his parents, who she never knew were white.

Star told Simone that she was doing it for their mama. It’s the least she could do, since she killed her. Simone says she didn’t, but Star confesses she gave her more medicine when she shouldn’t have. Simone wasn’t holding it against her; she was a kid. Simone told her to let it go – it’s a choice to be broken.

Noah hated that Simone got him out of the DUI. Cotton claimed Omari killed Jahil, and it was a mistake to let him live. Carlotta said he was a dead man, and Cassie said she had it, telling Carlotta to get Cotton and her son out of town. At the prison. Angel told Simone that his lawyer would help get them an annulment. Simone said it wasn’t what she wanted, but he insisted. She took to her bed, and when Carlotta tried getting her to face life, she whined that Carlotta had never loved anyone like she loved Angel. Carlotta bounced her out of bed, saying she just buried him

Noah dropped his flask in front of Alex, who said she can’t do this again. He was all, you and me, but she said, get out.

Take 3 was pretty impressive for an opening act, with swings and dry ice. The audience began to chant for Star’s new single. Alex grabbed the mic, and she and Star wrestled on the stage. They were out of the tour, but Maurice said Star could be the opening act. Simone told Star they weren’t family anymore. Star said everything she’d done, she did for them, and Simone told her to stop with the lies. Star said they were a package deal, but Ayanna said, not according to their contract.

Gigi introduced Noah to coke, and he snorted some off of her before he went on stage. Alex went to see Derek, and told him Noah was a drunk like her mother. She said she was going to New York to see her dad. She was going to find out why she’s so messed up. Derek told her he had a girl now, and she doesn’t lie to him. He left her standing on the porch.

Ayanna caught Andy in her office, forging her signature on checks. She was about to call security when he knocked the phone out of her hand. There was a gun in her desk, and they struggled over it. Ayanna was shot, and Andy called Carlotta, who’s like Mr. Wolf in Pulp Fiction.  She took his prints off the gun, and called an ambulance. Ayanna didn’t want an ambulance. She didn’t want to give her father the satisfaction of thinking she’s weak, and told Carlotta she was pregnant with Jahil’s baby

Carlotta asked why Andy needed money, and he told her Jahil’s bullet was meant for him. She asked who he owed money too. She could help, but needed a name. She asked who killed Jahil, and he told her it was her sister Cassie. She asked if he was crazy, owing Cassie money.

Charles showed up for a board meeting, noting they had a quorum. He said Ayanna was in his seat, but she said she was taking leadership of Floyd Entertainment. He taught her to play chess, so checkmate. Carlotta became the new head of Midtown Sound. She fired Maurice.

Star told Noah when she’d pictured the tour, it was with the girls, not with him throwing it away. He told her that he was on top; this is what it looks like. She said they were both alone, and told him he was crumbling. She was learning it was a choice to be broken, and asked if he was ever going to change. This doesn’t make him an artist; it makes him an addict. Not Prince or Michael, just an addict.

The concert ended with Star singing the opening song, I Bring Me, but thinking about how she sang it with the other girls, her victory being bittersweet. Derek ran after Alex. The plane was boarding, but he said his girl was on the damn plane. We saw a television showing breaking news about an airplane down in the Appalachian Mountains. Noah stood on the roof, about to jump.

Carlotta and Cassie sat at the kitchen table, drinking. Carlotta said Jahil died murderes by someone he loved and believed in. Some people always let you down. They both quietly reached under the table for their guns. Carlotta told Cassie that she heard Cassie took Omari out. They both drew their guns, and Cassie said she always had Carlotta’s back. Carlotta said, the hell she did, as her hand started to shake.

A gun went off.

Queen Latifah’s hair-dos did not disappoint. There was a short, swirly do in black and white, shoulder length waves in brown with gold highlights, a magenta flip, and a brown and gold curled bob highlighted with purple. This week, however, Brandi won the Queen of Hair, with brown and gold Queen Nefertiti braids piled high.

This was the finale. Star will be returning in the fall.

🐶 Because It’s the Best I Can Come Up with At This Hour…