Tag Archives: Real Housewives of Potomac

June 18, 2017 – What Happened to Daniel, a Little TV Tea & My Favorite Canine Papa

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Fear the Walking Dead

We look out over a bunch of cities from the top of a cliff. A lone zombie wanders the highway. Wait, it’s not a zombie – it’s Daniel. He’s desperate for water, but there’s none to be found. He shuffles behind a truck, hiding from a mini-horde of zombies. The last one turns and sees him. They shuffle at the same pace, Daniel not too far ahead. He hides under a car, but she pulls at his leg. A dog distracts her. Daniel quietly freaks.

Daniel can hear the zombie skulking around as he hides. He sees a pair of boots, and the zombie is taken down. He’s pulled out from under the car. A guy tells him to relax. He sees a wound on Daniel’s leg. Daniel says it had him, but let him go. The guy introduces himself as Efrain, and tells Daniel that he’s dying. Daniel yells for water. Efrain says the good news is that he has water and is happy to share it; the bad news is that they have to walk. He helps Daniel up.

They go into a building and Efrain shuts the gate. It looks like a warehouse flea market. Efrain leads Daniel to a fountain, but it’s dry. He asks where the water is, and Efrain says it shouldn’t be long. The word agua is heard repeatedly over a loudspeaker, and water begins to pour from the spout. Daniel drinks, and Efrain fills a jug. He says every week at this same time, a little miracle. He puts the jug on his bike and peddles away through the zombies, with Daniel in a cart at the front. Daniel is like, hey stairs! but Efrain drives his bike right up them. He’s got a stick for errant zombies, but doesn’t need it.

Efrain drives into an alley where several people are gathered. Daniel keels over, and they hide behind a dumpster. A truck goes by, crowded with men looking around. Someone in the group says that they’re coming by more often now.

Efrain discusses Daniel’s wound with a woman named Lola, who thinks that Daniel could possibly lose his leg. Daniel mumbles about a horse, and Lola asks if he’s a Broncos fan. The wound has to be scraped. Daniel says it take a steady hand, and Lola tells him to try not to scream. Efrain gives him some booze, and Lola sings. Daniel sings with her. She scrapes the wound, and it’s painful just to watch.

Fast forward, and Daniel and Efrain are scavenging. Daniel looks through a photo album. Efrain knocks down a zombie, and tells him to hurry up. Efrain gives the zombie Last Rites before finishing it off. Daniel asks if Efrain was a priest, and Efrain says he’s been many things and he found his calling. He pulls out a flask, and takes a drink, offering it to Daniel. They toddle off with the cart.

Efrain takes Daniel to where he lives, saying all are welcome. He shares some food. Daniel says he’s been kind. He didn’t have to help him, but he did. Daniel asks when he last had a professional haircut, and styles Efrain’s hair. Efrain says it’s been a while since he saw himself, and thanks Daniel. He asks when Daniel is going to sneak out. He knows running when he sees it, and something worse than Daniel’s leg is rotting in him. Daniel says he’s a bad guy, and he pays his debts. He’s killed ninety-six people. Efrain says that’s not it though. They share a bottle of liquor, and Daniel tells Efrain about leaving El Salvador, and how he never told his daughter about his past. Efrain says the burden was his, and asks if Danial is looking for his daughter. Daniel nods.

He tells Efrain that they were in a house surrounded by death, and he was trying to protect her, but his mind wasn’t right. He woke up in a fire, and could hear her calling. He was trapped, and burning, and the ceiling was collapsing. Somehow, he got out, but then he collapsed. When he came to, no one was left alive. Efrain asks what he’s saying. Daniel says he doesn’t know if he burned his daughter alive, and to forgive him. Efrain isn’t so sure forgiveness is his to bestow. He half-hugs Daniel, and tells him to take it easy. He says the good news is, there’s nobody left in this world to judge him; the bad news… he nods off. Daniel covers him with a blanket and jets.

Daniel travels down the highway with a lantern. He pops a zombie in the head with a shovel, sending it into the canal. He tries for another, but loses his weapon. Great. He opens his arms and awaits his fate. The zombie falls, but so does he, with his feet dangling in the current.

Daniel watches some clean-up guys do a coin toss to see who gets to clean the sewer pipe he’s in. They pull out some bodies smushed together with a carpet of leaves and laugh. Daniel rises from the leaves, and I’m surprised neither one of them has a heart attack. They take him to an office and discuss what to do, afraid that they’ll get nailed for sneaking him in. Lola walks in, and says she knows who he is, and they did the right thing in hiding him.

Lola explains that Daniel is at the Gonzalez Dam. Daniel asks why they’re hogging the water when people are dying of thirst? Lola tells him that there’s a new boss making decisions, the President of Tijuana. Daniel asks how much control she has, and she tells him that he never met her before today. He came there looking for a job. A guy breezes in, asking what Daniel is doing there, and Lola tells Daniel that he’s J.C., head of security. She says she hired Daniel because they need more help; they don’t want dead bodies building up in the water system.  J.C. suggests that he discuss this with the boss, but Lola tells him his job is security, hers is water treatment. Let her do her job, and go do his. He nods, and leaves. Daniel is impressed.

Daniel is now on the clean-up crew. He looks at the trucks, and asks another worker if he doesn’t have a problem with the distribution of water. The worker says it’s either get eaten, shot, or work. What’s it gonna be?

It’s dinnertime, and Daniel has an entire can of SPAM on his plate. Unappetizing to say the least. The big boss, Mr. Dante, comes in, and everyone stands up except Daniel. Dante tells everyone to sit, and they go back to eating. J.C. asks Daniel why he didn’t stand, and Daniel says he didn’t know he was supposed to. J.C. says, well, he is, and he’s also supposed to look at J.C. when he’s talking to him. J.C. leans over and puts his middle finger in the middle of Daniel’s SPAM. Daniel stabs him with his fork, and J.C. draws his gun. Dante comes back and asks what’s going on. J.C. whines that he was stabbed, but Daniel says he was just eating. Dante asks what his name is and where he’s from. Daniel tells him, and Dante wonders if he’s Sergeant and NCO Salazar. He looks at the tattoo in Daniel’s mouth. He says, Sombra Nega, which I googled, and it’s a name for El Salvadorian death squad groups. Dante tells J.C. that he needs to read more. He’s picking a fight with a CIA trained killer. He asks how many communists Daniel killed, and Daniel says he lost count. Dante tells everyone that they have a guest, and leads Daniel away.

Daniel questions the way Dante is using the dam, and Dante tells him that it might be the apocalypse, but it’s not communism. He asks what Daniel wants and needs, and says to speak freely. Danial asks if Dante can lend him a jeep; he’s looking for someone. Dante says sure, but his talents deserve more. If Daniel works for him, he’ll give him something befitting of his stature. He holds out his hand.

Daniel is on a truck, looking for a thief. It’s the same kind of truck Efrain and his friends were hiding from. Daniels sees where Efrain lives but says nothing. The truck busts into the warehouse where Daniel got the water. The fountain is dry, and Daniel still says nothing. J.C. says, nothing there, and Daniel looks at the clock. Sh*t. They’re going past the fountain right when it turns on. Sh*t. The water starts to drip, and Daniel panics. The agua announcement is made, but Daniel creates a distraction, saying he found something. He points and says, there’s your thief.

Daniel tells Lola that he had to; they were going to find the fountain. She says he saved Daniel’s life. He says first they’ll find Efrain, and then her; then they’ll both be killed. He did it to protect her. Lola tells him that if she stops running the water, the people will die. Not from bites or gunshots, but of thirst. Daniel says if they find her, there won’t be anything he can do. She says Dante is right; he’s perfect for this place. He tells her to do what she wants, but he warned her, adding not to save people who are already dead.

Daniel sees the guy he pointed out being beaten. He’s taken to a cell, and Daniel brings him a canteen of water. It’s Victor, and we’re back to the ending of last week’s episode. He tells Victor that he said he’d be his guardian angel, and Victor says, or angel of death. Victor wonders how Daniel got out, and Daniel asks if Ofelia is alive. Victor says they fled the compound, and they all thought he was dead, but she’s alive. He tells Daniel that Ofelia is holed up in a hotel. It will take a day, maybe less, to get there. He says to get him out, and he’ll take Daniel to her; she’s waiting for him. Daniel just looks at him.

He calls Victor an s.o.b, saying he doesn’t believe Ofelia is waiting for him. Victor says she survived the fire, and Daniel tells him that he’ll says anything to save his life. He tells Victor that this place is perfect for him. He’ll rot there, like the dead. He says Ofelia is dead, her father is dead, and so is Victor. Victor says that Daniel owes him, but Daniel just keeps walking. Interesting.

Dante announces that the expert is here. A circle of men parts, and Efrain looks at Daniel. Dante asks what Daniel needs, and Daniel says just space. He goes up to Efrain, and talks quietly to him. He says that if Efrain talks, they’ll kill him, and then Lola. If he doesn’t talk, Daniel will kill him. All he can offer is to do it as fast as he can. Efrain says those aren’t options, and Daniel asks Efrain to forgive him. Efrain says, again?

Daniel punches Efrain a bunch of times, saying, confess! Daniel tells Dante that he isn’t going to speak, but Dante says he will, and to keep going. Daniel picks up a hammer. Lola says, enough, leave him alone, and runs to Efrain, crying and hugging him. Daniel drops the hammer.

The lot of them are on a very high ledge on the dam, along with a few other people. Dante says to let it be a lesson that when you steal from him, this is what happens.  Daniel takes the first guy out of the line. Dante tells the guy that he just needs a messenger pigeon to tell the others. The guy thinks he’s cheated death somehow, but Dante hoists him over the railing, and down he goes. Next, Daniel chooses Lola. Dante asks if Daniel is ready. When Daniel hesitates, Dante tells J.C. to do it. Daniel shoots J.C., and throws the other henchman over the railing. Dante is all offended, saying he let Daniel in, but he’ll always be a goddam dog. Daniel says nothing, and just shoots him, and I laugh.

Daniel hands Lola the gun, gets on his knees, and asks her to forgive him. He bows his head. She holds out her hand, and he takes it.

Next time, a fire at the ranch, Troy has a calling, and Victor is surrounded.

I knew it. Jesse Borrego is playing Efrain. He was in one of my favorite 80s TV shows, Fame. At the time, I’d decided VCRs were invented just so I could record that show. The tapes are still in the black hole around here somewhere.

#WhereIsOfelia

☎ Better Call Saul is having its season finale on Monday, Jun 19th. You can actually watch too much TV, and I kind of lost track of this show along the way, but it’s very good. It’s clever, and like TV’s hooker with a heart of gold.

🏛 I have no idea why I’d thought The Real Housewives of Potomac was going to give some actual sophistication to the franchise, but I couldn’t have been further off. I definitely think that this bunch is the most focused on money, and comparing who has more of whatever. That makes me wonder if they’re the group with the least amount money. Ashley told us she still needs to work on both her marriage and the restaurant, since passive/aggressive Michael made some changes to the latter while she was in Bermuda. Although when both of them agreed that the marriage was more important in less than five minutes time, I wondered if all this hands-on management was just for storyline. Charisse held an opening for her champagne room, and cut a ribbon, making this the most excessive thing I’ve ever seen on any Wives show. And that includes Heather Dubrow’s skabillion dollar mansion and the birthday party Taylor Armstrong had for her toddler. This week, the girls also had an overabundance of time to spend analyzing why Karen was downsizing her living quarters. Refusing to descend from the cloud that she lives on, when someone pointed out that Karen would no longer be living in Potomac, she told them that was “a matter of opinion.” Funny, I thought it was a matter of zip code. Next time, a Bollywood party where Monique attends appropriating the wrong Indian culture, and wearing a feather headdress.

🍺 It looks like What Happens at the Abbey has been relegated to midnight status. And rightly so. It doesn’t need to be taking up the space of a show that has some genuine direction.

Quote of the Night & One More for the Dads

You don’t mess with a man’s SPAM.Rueben Blades (Daniel, FTWD) on Talking Dead

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person — he believed in me.Jim Valvano

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💖 One of my favorite dads, Casey 💖

June 11, 2017 – Victor Meets an Old Friend, Bermuda on the Potomac & Red Violet

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Fear the Walking Dead

I’m desperately hoping we get to see Travis as a zombie.

We hear a voiceover telling us that the great American experiment has failed, and it’s time to start over. We see Jeremiah in a video, saying we need to be prepared. He’s advertising a video tape set that teaches one how to survive what he calls teotwawki or TE. But wait there’s more! You get a survival bucket at no extra cost. His tagline is, if you’re going to plan for a future, plan for a better one, as he and his family wave cheerily at the camera. That was actually fun to watch. They need more of that.

The settlers are having a meeting under a tent outdoors. A woman talks about losing a child because she thought she could fly, and jumped off the roof. Looking at Madison, she says her daughter’s life was risked for the unprepared. Madison gets up, offers condolences, and introduces Nick and Alicia. She says they’ve lost loved ones too. She says Travis was their compass, and thanks them for their generosity. Jake gets up and says grieving is hard, but they need to process it. Vernon says what they need to do is prepare. He wants to know why the helicopter fell. Jeremiah tells him that when they know what they’re dealing with, they’ll act. Jake says whatever threat it is, they’ll mete out justice when they get the details.

Alicia nearly gets in an argument with another settler, and tells them that they should be harassing Troy, not her family. Vernon’s daughter, Gretchen, apologizes for their loss, and asks if Alicia would like to join a Bible study. They also have a band. Alicia says they’re Jewish, but Gretchen says, cool, they’ll do the Old Testament. Well, that didn’t work.

Nick tells Luci that they’ll take the cuffs off soon, and she can see the place. She says she’s seen enough; she can’t forget what they did. As soon as she’s freed, they’ll go. Nick just wants them all to feel safe in one place. He says he had a chance to make that happen, to kill him. She says it wouldn’t have made them safe, and Nick isn’t a killer.

Madison finds Troy lolling about in a bunk. He says he likes the way she says Travis’s name, which is really, really weird. He asks what she did before, and she says she was a guidance counselor. He tells her that certain aspects of academia proved challenging, so he never went to high school. He says everything he does is in service to the ranch. She asks if his father knows that. Troy says complicated things need complicated solutions, and Madison says killing people isn’t complicated. He tells her that’s why he picked her – he didn’t pick Nick. She says Nick comes with her. He says that Nick doesn’t deserve this place.

Victor drives along a coastal road. He drives past a load of people waiting in a long line. He asks if the guard knows a Mr. Dante; he’s a friend. The guy tells him to get in line like everyone else. Victor offers him a watch (I think; I didn’t get a good look), but the guard tosses it away. He wrestles Victor to the ground and draws his gun. Victor says it’s a mistake. A guy leans over Victor, saying he looks like sh*t. I assume this is Dante.

Nick tells Madison that they’re not wanted at the ranch. Madison says they’ll win over the ones who don’t want them there. She tells them to stay away from Troy, who’s a work in progress. Nick says he’s got to do something. He thinks they should start over somewhere else. Madison says they’re not leaving; there’s no place better. They hauled him out of a hellhole, and Travis died for it. Nick says Luci won’t be safe there. He asks what if they let her go, and Madison says he’ll have a choice to make then.

Jake tells Jeremiah something is wrong. They haven’t heard back from the group that left to find out what happened with the helicopter. Madison walks in, and says she needs reassurance; some people resent them. Jeremiah says they’re strangers. Madison says, not to Troy. She’d like a leash put on him, and help with the others. Jeremiah say it’s a place where people ask for help when they need it. Madison tells him that she needs it, and she’s asking. He says she’s hard to like. She says Troy threatened her family; he murdered people, and called it science. She says maybe they should know that. Jeremiah says if his people take umbrage at their presence, that’s on her. He tells he that he won’t let anyone drown without teaching them to swim.

Alone with Madison, Jake asks if Troy hurt her. She asks if he’s always been that way. Jake says he’ll take care of Troy, and she says he and his dad keep saying that. She thanks him for saving Alicia, and he says she saved him too. She asks if he’s worried about the helicopter. He tells her that it was probably a crackpot scavenger. Madison says she wants to meet whoever it is.

Alicia watches the horses. Nick asks her about riding, but she says she’s not ready. She tells him he’s invited to the Bible study. He asks if she wants to stay, and she says no. She tells him that what Madison said wasn’t fair, and he says she’s wrong. Alicia says that this is no time to form a conscience. He asks what happened to her, but she walks away.

Jake finds Troy fixing a fence. He tells Troy to stay away from Madison and her family. He promised them he’d protect them from him. He says he still believes in Troy, but if the ranch knew what he really is… Troy asks what is he? Jake says when dad’s gone, it’s on them; they’ll have to lead together. He needs Troy to stay away from the Clarks. Troy says he hears him. Jake asks if he means it, and Troy says he always does.

Gretchen and a couple of the teenagers take Alicia to an underground place in the middle of the forest. Gretchen tells everyone to get out their study materials. Alicia is handed a humongous bong. She says this isn’t what she expected. Nor would I. Everyone paraphrases Bible verses. Gretchen opens a metal drum and takes out a bird cage. It’s Geoff. Geoff is a head, and I don’t mean of the game. Everyone sits watching Jeff drool and rattle his teeth. Alicia starts to laugh. Alrighty then.

Madison watches outtakes from the video. It’s Jeremiah arguing with his wife, who’s half In the bag, and yelling at the kids. The cameraman tells him to let her go, and he says, shut your mouth. Jeremiah walks in, and says not his finest moment. Madison asks what happened to their mom. He says Troy’s mom. Jake’s mother was his first wife, who died…before. Madison says her father was a drunk, and it killed her. Jeremiah says that the second Mrs. Otto went downhill. Troy took care of her while he was busy selling buckets, and she resented him for it.

Victor and Dante have a drink and talk about old times. Dante assumes that Thomas didn’t make it, and Victor shakes his head. Dante says all Victor has now is his wit, charm, and a crunchy suede coat. Victor says don’t forget his good looks. Dante says it’s good to have him back, and they toast.

The kids pretend to communicate (or maybe they are) through Geoff. They tell Alicia that he wants to know what it’s like “out there.” She tells them that it changes you into something worse than Geoff. She asks who the Ottos are. One of the kids says that Jeremiah saw it coming, and made the place before he was born. Gretchen says Geoff was the first zombie they saw. She says he’s indifferent on the Ottos, except for Troy. She tells Alicia that Troy and the militia do what they can’t – protect them. Alicia tells them that you can’t depend on others; you have to handle your own sh*t. Gretchen says that Geoff wants to know what bad stuff she’s done out there, and Alicia says she killed a man. Gretchen asks how it felt, and she says easy.

Dante shows Victor around the dam he’s taken over. Two guys are about to throw someone off a very high wall. Dante tells Victor that the man used to be in a cartel, and there’s no room for such people. Dude is tossed off the wall and into a pile of zombies, who immediately jump all over him and start feasting. The guys grab Victor. Dante asks if he thinks they were friends in the old world. Back then, Victor wanted people’s land; now he wants Dante’s water. Victor says food, shelter, and a cocktail suffices, but Dante says nothing suffices; it’s not in Victor’s nature. Victor is held over the edge of the balcony. Victor says it’s only a matter of time before someone else takes it, and not him. He says Dante needs transport and guns, and men to guard them. Water is the new currency, and he can organize it. Dante asks how he can trust a thief, but Victor says he never stole from Dante. Dante says he stole from Thomas, and asks if Thomas died believing that Victor loved him. Victor says he did love Thomas, and nearly gets pushed over the wall. Dante says that Victor exploits everything he touches, and owes him a debt. He’s going to work it off, and he’ll feel like those he took from – powerless. Victor is led away. Yikes.

Nick watches an old couple dance on their patio. Troy approaches him, and asks if he wants to join a hunting party. He says they can catch scavengers sneaking around in the dark, and it’s more maintenance than hunting, more cultivating than killing. He tells Nick to get in and earn his keep. They drive away.

Madison is out walking. Jeremiah tells her that Nick went with Troy on a hunting trip. She says he’s a city boy who’s never even dealt with a gun (I dunno about that, since he was a heroin addict and lived on the streets), and asks how long it lasts. Jeremiah says a couple of hours to all night, and they’ll come back safe. Madison says that her daughter is finding God. Jeremiah offers her a cigarette. I see a T-shirt in my head: My daughter got offered a huge bong and all I got was a lousy cigarette. She tells Jeremiah that her kids never had any place to feel safe, and that Nick is an addict. She told him that if he left, she’d let him go, but here they are. Jeremiah says the things they do to their children, and the things they do to make up for it. He asks if she wants to know why he tolerates his son.

The hunting party has dogs. While I couldn’t care less about the people, now I have a pack of German Shepherds to worry about.

Jeremiah takes Madison under the house. It has steel shelving laden with supplies, and he calls it the pantry. He says some people think what’s happened is God’s vengeance, but he thinks it’s an opportunity for a new life and to make amends. The new world has a purpose, and nothing heals a family more than that. They’ll build something better than before, but it won’t be easy. He asks if her family is up for it, and she says absolutely.

Troy sees someone wandering. Nick ambushes him from behind, and throws him to the ground. Troy says the ground is soft, and he could dig a grave easily; probably no one would suspect him. Nick asks how long it will take him to turn, and he tells Nick that if he does it, to time it; the journal is in his pocket. Nick says he’s not a scientist, and asks Troy what’s wrong with him. Troy says that Newton stabbed own eye to understand nature of light, and he needs to know. Nick shoots, but the bullet hits next to Troy’s head. Nick takes the journal and starts to tear it up. They fight, and Nick laughs like the lunatic he’s becoming. Troy says he thinks they can be friends now, like the lunatic he already is.

Madison visits Luci, and says she should be sleeping. Luci thanks her for waiting for her to heal before they leave, and says that she’s sorry about Travis; he saved her life. Madison says he was a good man, much better than her. He saved them all, and they can’t throw it away. They survive at all costs now.

Alicia and crew return. Jake asks if they’re turning water into wine, and she says, praise Jesus. Ha-ha! A pig roast is happening, which is perfect for the munchies. Jake talks to Jeremiah. Jeremiah makes an announcement that they still haven’t heard anything back from the group that went out, and they have to be prepared. Troy is taking a party out, but they need volunteers. Several men volunteer, and Madison raises her hand. They all look at her. Why is that so weird? I guess they are really out of touch with what’s happening everywhere. Madison sits next to Troy. He says her kids are at another table. She says she knows.

Victor awaits his fate in a cell. Someone sets a flask on the ledge. He smells it, then drinks greedily. Daniel appears, and says he knew Victor would drink it all, and that Daniel had told him that he’d be his guardian angel.

Next time, Daniel tells Victor that he’ll rot in there, someone else gets dropped into the zombie pile, zombies on a bus, and what happened to Daniel.

#WhereIsOfelia

🏛 On The Real Housewives of Potomac, Karen arranged a trip to Bermuda so the girls could get to know one another better. Why? Every time I watch this show, I want to know them less. Gizelle insulted Monique in her interview, saying that she’s “educated” and Monique “can’t hold a candle to this.” Omg. Honestly, this is the worst bunch of women ever. I want to see Gizelle’s diploma. She couldn’t even think up a new tagline this time around, using the same one as last season – and this is only their second season. She’s so educated, she can’t even think up two different sentences. She also wore some very scary purple eye shadow (I think Crayola would call it red violet) that matched her dress. Is that what she meant by “this?” No, no, and no. The good news is that Ashley had success, both with the opening of her restaurant, and keeping her marriage together. Of course the whole girls trip was a disaster. I might start using the word “janky” though.

🏖 The Real Housewives of the OC returns on Monday, July 10th, at 9 pm.

PurpleCrayone

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May 29, 2017 – No GH, a Door Opens for Kathryn, Classless Potomac, a Little Amish & Some Turquoise

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

No General Hospital today. They reran the “Good-by to Tracy” episode. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as the first time, but still enjoyable, and you can’t beat the ending with Luke waiting for her in a Turkish coffee shop. I do wonder if he’s the person who ultimately bought the painting though. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the answer to that question either.

Southern Charm

Kathryn practices her yoga. Landon calls Thomas to go out to dinner. Craig gets an email saying he passed…something. Cameran and Chelsea are going to Home Goods. Cameran wants a woman cave; her husband suggests a nursery. She tells him about the psychic saying she’ll have three children. He thinks they best get going on that.

Craig puts a copy of the “you passed” email on the fridge. He calls his parents. I find out the cat’s name is Gizmo, and wonder if he has an Instagram account. Craig has satisfied his upper-level writing requirement, which means he has a law degree now. He gives Gizmo some treats to celebrate.

Cameran tells Chelsea that she’s totally redoing the room, and needs help. I immediately covet the grey chaise lounge Cameran parks herself on. She tells Chelsea about the topic of Kathryn coming up at Patricia’s party, but doesn’t exactly present it the way it went. She says whenever they talk about Kathryn, the mood changes. She doesn’t want to get involved and says it’s getting old. What Cameran leaves out is that she’s the one who changed the mood. Whitney merely wondered If Kathryn’s amends-making call was legit, and Cameran got all bent out of shape with Landon backing her up as the Greek-freaking-chorus. Chelsea says she actually met Kathryn at the salon, and – after her initial fear wore off because of what she’d been told – she thought Kathryn was nice. Cameran says she can be lovely, but also an absolute horror. She admits people can change though, so who knows? Maybe she’ll be calling Kathryn some day for mother advice.

Naomie meets Craig for dinner. He tells her about graduating law school, and wanted to tell her in person. She says it’s probably a bigger weight off of her chest than his. Craig asks for credit in improving. Naomie says if there hadn’t been any improvement, they wouldn’t still be together. She acts like an idiot, and then asks if he’s taking the bar. Because God forbid he should be happy for a minute with his recent victory. He says his application is in, but she doesn’t like that answer. She wants him to say the words “I’m taking the bar.”

Shep calls Cameran. He apologizes for getting heated after the party. He just wants everyone to be friends. He’s arranging a lunch, including Kathryn, and would like Cameran to come. She says she doesn’t want any drama. Shep brings up the fact that Thomas is the one who owes her an apology. He says Thomas acts out just as badly (truth!), but he always gets a pass. She says she is curious to see if a change has taken place, so she agrees to come. He tells her to bring safety gear. In his interview, Shep says he’s not on anyone’s side; he’s like Switzerland. He calls Kathryn to warn her that Cameran will be at lunch. We flash back to the reunion, where it didn’t go too well with the two of them.

Thomas tells the nanny that he has a date.

Landon’s sister Bam (wtf? is she a Flintstone?) calls, and Landon tells her about inviting Thomas to dinner. In her interview, she says she’d probably have a ring and all the horses she wanted if she gave the okay. Even though she’s most likely right, that’s incredibly narcissistic.

Thomas and Landon meet at the restaurant. Thomas thinks he’s cool because he ordered the most expensive bottle of wine. They discuss the kids. He talks about Landon’s necklace, and tells her that turquoise is from Turkey. She thinks he’s amazing, but I looked this up, and what he is, is wrong. (See link below.) Landon says that Patricia told her that she should consider Thomas as a suitor. Her turn of phrase reminds me of the first place I lived in NYC. It was a women’s residence – kind of like a dorm – and the ladies who ran it said things like “gentlemen caller” and “beau parlor.” It was like being in a Tennessee Williams play. Landon tells Thomas that it would be good if he was twenty years younger and had no baggage. I choke on my coffee. She says she wishes she wasn’t so concerned about what people think. In his interview, Thomas tells us if he thought that way, he’d never leave the house. He tells a bad joke, and Landon acts like it’s the funniest thing ever. Some drunk lady at the next table tells them that she feels that they’re soulmates. Omg, she’s sloshed, and tells Thomas that he should make out with Landon. Please, not at the table. Please.

Craig and Kathryn are the first to arrive for Shep’s lunch, and they get a table outside. Craig asks when was the last time Kathryn and Cameran talked? Kathryn doesn’t really remember, but she’s glad Cameran agreed to come, since it might be awkward if they run into each other. In her interview, Cameran says she’s anxious and nervous because Kathryn can be unpredictable. Shep says Cameran doesn’t have a leg to stand on, since she and Kathryn have never even had an altercation. Whitney is a different story – we flash back to that. Shep is of the mind that even if there are problems, you smile and say, “good to see you.” We flash back to more Whitney nonsense.

Cameran and Whitney drive to the lunch together. Cameran says it’s an opportunity for Kathryn to prove them wrong, and make the two of them look like a-holes. That shouldn’t be too hard. When they arrive, she hopes Kathryn doesn’t think it’s an ambush. Hugs and air kisses all around. Then silence. Cameran says this is the first time they’ve all been together in a while, and that they support Kathryn, and want her to feel supported, even . Where this is coming from, I have no idea. Kathryn says she appreciates it, and it’s important right now. Whitney says it’s water under the bridge. In her interview, Kathryn says Whitney knew her when, and supported Thomas in her downfall. She thinks he might be feeling guilty.

Cameran asks if she’s finished romantically with Thomas. Kathryn says they haven’t even spoken in a year, and tells them about the letter she wrote to him, saying she’d like to co-parent. She talks about how much better she feels. Cameran says Whitney is in love, and she says with what? – ha-ha! – and he tells her about the new girl in his life. Craig announces that he’s graduated law school. Everyone steers clear of the bar question, but not really, since they say they’re going to steer clear of it.

Austen and Craig go golfing. They decide to make it interesting at twenty bucks a hole. Craig asks about Chelsea. He tells Austen that Naomie says she’s a good old boy in a beautiful woman’s body. In his interview, Austen says Chelsea has been engaged twice, and is skeptical of relationships.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon for a haircut. They talk about the quail hunt. Chelsea says she never went quail hunting before, and loved every second. They talk about dating, and Shep says she must have guys chasing her. She says nobody is chasing her, and Shep asks if she chewed Austen up and spat him out. She says they just have fun together.

Austen tells Craig about Shep saying he broke bro code by dating Chelsea. Craig says there’s nothing there except Shep wanting to conquer. Austen says if Shep makes a move, he’ll know what the score is, and that Shep is no real friend. He doesn’t think Chelsea would go out with him though. Craig tells him about Shep hitting on Naomie. He says the easy answer is that he thinks he’s better than everyone else, but the deeper thought is that he’s insecure and afraid of actually finding his own woman.

Shep asks Chelsea to go for a glass of wine, but she says she’s on the clock. He tells her to clock out.

Nanny Deidre tells Thomas he needs to get serious bout Saint’s birthday party. They discuss the guest list. In his interview, Thomas wishes he had a partner to plan it with, and laments that Saint doesn’t have a mother involved. Well, isn’t that Thomas’s choice? He calls his father, and tells him about the party. His father tells him that he has a dental appointment the same day, and if they pull the tooth, he “ain’t comin’.” Thomas doesn’t seem real happy about that.

Whitney drops by. The nanny takes the children away. Thomas tells Whitney about the party. Whitney asks if he’s inviting Kathryn, and he says he’s giving it some thought. Whitney tells him about the lunch with her, and says she seems to be doing well. Thomas brings up the letter, and Whitney thinks it’s a step forward. He says she seems to want to move on, and perhaps deserves a second chance.

Landon meets Drew for dinner. She gripes about her website. They can’t call it Roam anymore, since it’s a conflict with other websites, and they might get sued. In her interview, Landon says it’s her fault for not doing her homework, but I knew that already. She says that she’s learning so much every day. Like how to tie her shoes and the ABCs. Drew says he was born in 1989, and Landon says she’s old and her eggs are drying up. This woman has no filter. In her interview, she says there’s a void in her life. She tells Drew she wants family life soon. She likes and respects him, and doesn’t want to mislead him. He says he’s not ready for that yet, and she asks if they can still do stuff. She gets all teary, and says that all she wants is someone to walk her dog with her. Good luck with that if you’re going to get all weepy over it. There must be a Facebook group or something for that. I have to admit getting the feels over her talking about her 12-year-old dog.

Kathryn meets Elizabeth (bleh because she’s married to JD) at a coffee/dessert place. They talk about Saint’s birthday, and Elizabeth says they should get a cake. She asks about Thomas, and Kathryn says she wrote to him, but hasn’t heard back. Elizabeth says she has a reply letter for Kathryn, which makes me wonder why she asked, and why she didn’t tell Kathryn that right away. Weird. It’s a pleasant letter, saying blah-blah-blah how he’d like to be friends and wishes her the best. He invites her to the birthday party. She thinks maybe it’s a new beginning, and she’s going in with no expectations. Elizabeth says she hasn’t seen this Kathryn in a while.

Next time, Saint’s first birthday party, Shep tells Chelsea that she’s like a unicorn, and Shep is a no-show to meet Cameran at a property.

A Coupla Things

🍹 I took a look at The Real Housewives of Potomac late last night, and once again was shocked at how unsophisticated this group is. Ashley opened (or got her husband to fund) an Australian themed restaurant – Oz. The menu includes items like kangaroo and emu. Once again, the embarrassing behavior award goes to Gizelle and Robyn. Since this was a restaurant opening event, Ashley gave a little spiel at the beginning. Not only did Robyn have to explain to Gizelle what an emu is, they both made faces about it. While these aren’t things I would normally eat, I wouldn’t act like a five-year-old about it, especially if that’s the fare of the country. Emu was also a thing not all that long ago, being a lean protein. Obviously, these two are uninformed and immature. Karen needs to give them pseudo etiquette lessons. Oh, and I finally realized that Katie is gone from the cast when they had a flashback. Sadly, I hadn’t even noticed.

🍞 Again, not much was going on Sunday night, so I checked out Return to Amish. Rebecca took the test for her GED, but we don’t know if she passed yet. Math really seems to confuse her, but I would assume that the Amish don’t focus a lot on that, especially if you’re female. It’s sad enough that they only think a girl deserves an eighth-grade education, but it’s highly doubtful they encourage any education of females at all, other than cooking and sewing. I was put into advanced math when I was in sixth grade – whether I wanted to be there or not. Although it served me well later in life when I lied finessed my way into accounting jobs after reading Accounting 101. Rebecca also has severe anxiety problems, which explains her reaction, or lack thereof, to many things. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to accomplish this on her own. Even though she had a tutor, she had to be the one to get herself through the process. Jeremiah and Carmella were on the outs at the start of the episode, but had reconciled by the end. Carmella had taken her kids and gone back to Washington, saying that the situation was toxic, and Jeremiah was controlling. This struck me as odd, since they had just started IVF treatments, and Jeremiah was doing a load of work on their new house. Then Jeremiah mentioned Carmella’s hormone treatments, and I was like, ohhh. Her growing up in a cult doesn’t help anything either. We also got Abe’s story this week. While he sometimes seems kitty whipped by Rebecca, I kind of like how he always has her back. He also seems like a great father – we saw a lot of scenes with him and the kids. Of course Mary being his mother makes him a lucky guy, although it was dicey at first when he decided to leave the tribe. Mary told him that it would break her heart, since he’d be shunned, but it looks like they’ve gotten around that. Next time, it’s the season finale (sniff), and the gang heads to Las Vegas, where Mary is going to do what she jolly well pleases. Which I’m sure involves gambling and drinking.

Every man must live with the man he makes of himself. – Amish Proverb

Find Out About Turquoise Here:

http://www.turquoiseguide.com/articles/turquoise/turquoise-basics/name.htm

KittyTurquoise

 

May 21, 2017 – A Little Amish Talk & Some Random Bravo Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Since Once Upon a Time is over for now, we await new Walking Dead episodes, and where the blip is Game of Thrones, I thought I’d take a break from Bravo and it’s Housewives, and catch up on Return to Amish. Most weeks, I fall asleep watching it during the wee hours’ rerun encore performance.

🐎 Half new episode and half individual cast member’s story, one of tonight’s highlights was a trip to Lancaster made by Mary and a pregnant Sabrina. While they were enjoying a meal at a diner, Mary was approached by a local, asking Mary not to have Tupperware parties in her “territory.” We flash back to when she’d hassled Mary before, and Mary shut it down this time by telling her to get a life. Apparently, Tupperware is serious business in the Amish country. When back at home, a sly hater surreptitiously threatened to rat Mary out for having a car, Mary silenced her by giving her Tupperware. Mary is the best. So is Tupperware. The look on Jeremiah’s face when he found out that Sabrina was – SPOLIER AND GROSS OUT ALERT – eating her placenta, was worth the price of admission. I literally lol’d at his reaction. Baby Ariana is the cutest, arriving a month early, and so very tiny! Sabrina would like her to grow up Mennonite, and let parents have custody, but the state is already swooping in to take charge. This segued into Sabrina’s story. Being adopted, she grew up thinking that her mother didn’t want her, when the total opposite was true. It wasn’t evident who told her these things, but I’m assuming it wasn’t her adoptive parents, or she wouldn’t want them to raise Ariana. She eventually looked for her birth parents, and although her mother had passed away, she’d died surrounded by pictures of Sabrina. Her story was truly heart-wrenching, and it’s no surprise she would turn to drugs to soothe herself.  In one of his interviews, Abe talked about how the cast members were each other’s family, as they had decided to strike out on their own at the same time. It’s sad that he and Rebecca no longer want to talk to Sabrina, their Amish, grudge-holding roots taking hold. The whole thing is sad. On a happier front, while catching up on the gang’s trip to Florida, it was a lot of fun watching Mary kick back, do some shots, line dance, and take a twirl around the pole. I did miss Kate though. I’m thinking they should do a spin-off show about her life in NYC. She’s probably afraid the others would descend on her, and all want to stay at her place, like they did last season.

If Sabrina was appropriate, she wouldn’t be Sabrina. – Rebecca

My mother always told me if you kiss a boy, you’ll get pregnant. So that was effective birth control for a while. – Sabrina

Sarasota is like Las Vegas for the Amish people. – Jerimiah

🏛 Not much happened on the Potomac anyway. Karen had some emotions, and I noticed that Charisse talks through her nose. And once I noticed, I couldn’t stop noticing. Someone wagged their finger in Ashley’s face at her place of work. I think it was Gizelle, but I was spacing out already. I don’t know what to make of that Cabo show. It looks like The Real World for adults, “adults” meaning chronologically only. I’m not fond of the regular Real World program. I’m surprised it’s still on. Is it still on? Every once in a while, I’d forget why I stopped watching it, tune in, and then tune back out again, but I haven’t done that in a while. I’m guessing that Invite Only Cabo will most likely infuriate me, or make me laugh if one of them gets arrested in a foreign country.

🏖 Note: Watch What Happens Live is filming from LA this week. I’m not feeling the large, and appropriately noisy, live audience though. I think in NYC there are like, twelve people. There was a fun, surprise appearance by NeNe, but it looked like she usurped Iggy Izalea‘s place at the Shot Ski.

🎿 Not your momma’s or tonight’s Shot Ski…

ShotSki