What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
I missed the beginning. Only until the opening credits.
Alexis drops by Sam’s place. She was hoping to spend one-on-one time with her favorite middle daughter. Sam thought Kristina had texted; she moved out. Alexis asks if she moved in with Sonny, and Sam say, no. She moved in with Daisy and some other friends. Alexis says that’s the house situation Oscar is living in; good for her. Sam asks who she is and what has she done with her mother? Alexis says they’re nice to Oscar, and she hopes they’ll be as welcoming to Kristina. She’s an adult, can make her own decisions, and she respects that. Sam isn’t buying it, and Alexis tells her, as they say in the program, fake it till you make it. Jason comes in, and Alexis asks Sam when the move happened. Sam says Kristina had been getting more involved with the Dawn of Day people, a space opened up, and she grabbed it. She and Jason had questions, so they went over and asked. Alexis asks what she thinks, and Sam says, it feels like home. Alexis likes the system of Sam worrying first. She thanks Sam and Jason, saying it’s nice that Kristina has the two of them to look out for her, and leaves.
Josslyn has Oscar’s critique of Of Mice and Men. He got an A-. He says he’s sorry, bringing shame on her, him, and their ancestors. She’s brought his schoolwork, and asks what he wants to do, and he tells her that he has a special assignment. He shows her the journal; her favorite project. He’s been adding to it, and says he wants to spend he longest day in the mountains, from sunrise to sunset.
Julian tells Drew, message received, but Drew isn’t done. He wonders if Kim spent too many nights with her son, and wasn’t giving Julian enough attention, so he ended the relationship over nothing. Julian doesn’t want to discuss it with Drew, but Drew says Kim trusted him. She believed in him when everyone warned her not to. Julian says, everyone was right; congratulate them. Drew calls him Charlie, and says he’ll give him credit for one thing. He kept up the charade longer than Drew thought he would.
Kim tells Terry that Oscar is looking better, and he’s eating. Josslyn even has him doing homework, and thinking about the SATs and where to go to college; his future. Terry says, the most important thing is, he’s opened himself up to love. Clinically, and scientifically, love helps.
At the gym, not-Doc asks Laura if she should be wandering around alone with a killer on the loose. She asks if that’s why he followed her, and he says she can’t be too careful. She thanks him for that, and for what he said at the meeting. She thinks it’s odd to receive and endorsement from a soon-to-be ex, but he says Port Charles needs a fighter like her in office; he meant what he said. She tells him that she did too. If elected, she’ll be an advocate for mental health, starting with Ferncliff. He tells her no one respects and understands commitment to reform like he does, but she needs to prioritize the needs of the entire city. While she’s looking after the greater good, he volunteers to keep an eye on what happens at Ferncliff.
Sam looks at the laptop, and tells Jason that she understands why Dawn of Day is appealing to Kristina. It’s about empowerment, confidence in community, and excellence through action. They do a lot of volunteering; at the food pantry, the homeless shelter, the soup kitchen. There are no red flags. Jason says, bad guys don’t advertise that they’re bad guys. Sam says, it all seems sincere, but something is up. They’re hiding something or have an agenda. She asks how the book is, and Jason says it basically covers what Shiloh told them, but in more detail. Troublemaker Hank almost got killed in Afghanistan, and Drew saved him. He reads, it wasn’t just Hank’s body lifted off the field, but his soul was in Drew’s hands. Drew’s singular choice to save him not only changed Hank’s life, but his world. Sam thinks he’s laying it on thick. Kristina is looking for a spiritual identity; she’s drifting, and he’s giving her direction. Jason asks if she doesn’t like it, and Sam says, no; does he? He says he’s more interesting in Hank’s life before he became Shiloh. Why did he have to reinvent himself? What’s he running from?
Kristina brings Shiloh to Oscar’s room, and introduces him to Josslyn. Oscar says it’s nice of Shiloh to let him crash at his house, but Shiloh says, it’s everyone’s house. They miss Oscar, and he’s looking forward to getting to know him better. Josslyn knows what the group does, but asks what about Shiloh specifically? Shiloh says he gives space for people to listen, and learn to trust themselves. Josslyn says, like a therapist or guru? Shiloh doesn’t think of himself as a leader. It’s a community; he just paves the way. Kristina suggests Josslyn join them at the next meeting. Shiloh says she’s more than welcome. Oscar wants to start paying Shiloh back, but Shiloh says the community is paid by serving others.
Julian tells Drew that he doesn’t owe him any explanations. Drew says he’s a selfish SOB, like he always was. He guesses a dying kid interfered with the relationship, and asks when Julian’s motivation ran out. Julian says when he saw Drew and Kim kissing.
Not-Doc tells Laura, the patients at Ferncliff are criminally insane; damaged beyond repair. Laura asks if that means he doesn’t want to advocate for them. They both have mental health issues in their past, and she thought they agreed. He’s concerned some of the patients might be manipulative, and if their found sane, they’ll be shipped to prison. Laura asks if he didn’t once ask what worse punishment can there be than to live with a broken mind? While their talking, not-Doc has been wrapping an exercise band around his hands. Laura says he’s cutting off his own circulation.
Not-Doc says it’s a nervous habit. Laura asks, since when? and he snaps that it’s new; he’s working it through. She asks if he’s all right, and he says he’s fine. She says there’s no one there; just them. Is there something he needs to tell her? Now’s his chance. He says she knows him well. There is something he’s wanted to say since she came home. It needed to be the right time. He stretches the band, and says, maybe the moment has arrived. Scotty walks in, and says he came to hit a heavy bag. He might have to knock out a knife wielding lunatic. Not-Doc says leave it to Scotty to bring fists to a knife fight, and Scotty says leave it to Doc to wear a suit at the gym. He asks if they’re getting back together, and not-Doc says, no. It’s none of Scotty’s business. Laura says they’re friends, and it is. Scotty tells them about the self-defense class, saying he thinks everyone should take it. They don’t know who will be next.
Oscar marvels over his dad saving and inspiring Shiloh. Josslyn asks how it’s possible no one made the connection, but Shiloh says he didn’t know who Oscar’s parents were. Oscar asks if Shiloh saw his dad, and if Drew remembered him. Shiloh says he saw Drew, but he didn’t remember. Drew told him about his condition, but he’s made an impressive life for himself. Oscar says his dad is a great guy. Shiloh says, even if Drew didn’t have a memory issue, he might not recognize him. He put the angry boy behind him. Oscar wonders if Shiloh can tell him about Drew’s time in the service. Shiloh says he’d be more than happy to, if it’s cool with Oscar’s dad. Kim walks in, asking if there’s a party she wasn’t invited to. Kristina introduces her to Shiloh, who hopes he didn’t cause friction. Kim is glad he gave Oscar a place to stay while they were sorting things out. Shiloh says they love Oscar, and wonder when he’s coming back. Oscar tells Kim that he wants to come home tomorrow, if it’s cool with her. She says nothing would make her happier. They hug.
Sam tells Jason that Dawn of Day first filed their incorporation under D. H. Archer; a personal marketing platform. She says that D.H. is David Henry. He’s the only son and surviving child of Henry Archer, one of her husbands.
Oscar explains about the trial, and Kristina asks if it hurt. He says, no; it just made him tired. Kim sees Terry outside the room, and says she has to check on the smaller babies. She excuses herself, and in the hallway, Terry tells her, it’s time to call Drew. Oscar’s test results are in.
Drew says Julian broke things off because of a little New Year’s Eve kiss between exes? Julian tells him, don’t say it’s nothing. Alexis wants to interject before they say things they’ll regret. Drew says he won’t regret anything, but Alexis says it doesn’t appear they’ll say anything that will help Kim. Maybe they should go in their separate corners. Julian wants Drew to hear this. He got tired of spending night after night alone, but New Year’s Eve was supposed to be their night. Kim preferred spending it with Drew, so he responded in kind. Drew said he didn’t wait two seconds to ask what was going on before he slept with someone else, and Julian says, what’s good for the goose. Drew gets a text from Kim saying the test results are in. He tells Julian that he didn’t deserve Kim, and jets. Alexis asks why Julian just lied to Drew.
Sam tells Jason that Henry was one of her first big ones. He was huge in advertising, and wanted a pretty, much younger woman on his arm. She wasn’t his first, and she’s sure she wasn’t his last. Jason thinks she must have met Shiloh, but she doesn’t remember meeting him. She thinks he refused to come to the wedding on the grounds she was a gold-digging tramp, who would be taking his inheritance. He wasn’t entirely wrong. Jason says Henry must have talked about him, and Sam says Henry called him David. She thinks calling himself Hank was his way of rebelling. She got the impression that he was living off of hi trust fund. Jason says he must have known about her. Wouldn’t he have recognized her? She says, maybe he was waiting to see if she recognized him.
Alexis tells Julian, bailing after one kiss is wimpy of him. He says he’s clearly not what Kim needs. It’s a family crisis, and he’s not part of the family. He’s not walking away, just giving up.
Scotty tells Laura and not-Doc the last victim was a producer who was making a documentary about Ryan. He was a nice guy, and had asked questions about the killing spree, but that’s not the creepy part. All of the interview footage is missing. Laura asks if they think the killer took it, and Scotty says that’s the theory. Maybe he stumbled on something about Ryan the killer didn’t want anyone to know. Laura wonders what could have any consequence, and Scotty says maybe the killer is a copycat, and is trying to circumvent any leads. The police think they’re getting cocky, and will try to murder the wrong person at the wrong time, and be sent to prison for the rest of their miserable life.
Oscar thinks it’s cool that Shiloh knew his dad. Josslyn asks him to bring his attention back to his first day out. She’s already told her mom that she’s not going to school, and suggests lunch at Kelly’s, Oscar agrees, and she says, then what? He wants to go to the docks. He’s sick of staring at the walls, and just wants to look out on the water. Josslyn says, done, and he suggests following it with ping pong at the Quartermaine’s – if she doesn’t mind losing. Oscar suddenly looks pensive, and asks, what happens after tomorrow when he goes back to school? Do they know what’s going on? He doesn’t want them to look differently at him. Josslyn says, it doesn’t matter. She’ll be with him, and no matter what happens, they’ll face it together.
On her tablet, Terry shows Drew and Kim Oscar’s tumor before treatment, and the tumor yesterday. Kim takes the tablet. Drew says he’s the only non-doctor in the room. Can they explain what they’re looking at? Kim says it hasn’t shrunk. Terry says it’s almost nine centimeters, and the growth in the brain tissue is entangled in major blood vessels. The treatment failed. Drew asks what it means, and Kim says, it’s still inoperable. Oscar is going to die.
Not-Doc admires Scotty’s confidence in the police. Scotty says the killer thinks a lot of himself – or herself – but no one is untouchable. Not-Doc says no one caught the Zodiac killer or Jack the Ripper. Scotty is sure they got what was coming to them. Gail always told him, what goes around comes around, and you need to think before you act. Laura says she remembers Gail telling them that, and he says, most of the time, she was right. Laura says, Gail is a wonderful woman, and she’s glad he persevered. Scotty tells them, Gail passed away.
Sam tells Jason, whoever Shiloh is, he’s made no attempt to hide his personal history. He grew up with wealth being the chief motivator, and wanted to reinvent a meaningful purpose, making a welcoming community. Buzzwords; he seems like he’s full of crap. Jason says there are too many coincidences connected with Shiloh, Drew, and Oscar. And now Kristina. There are too many people he cares about in Shiloh’s orbit.
Julian tells Alexis that Kim chose Drew. Alexis says she kissed Drew, and chose Julian. She doesn’t want it to end as much as he doesn’t. Julian says she told him Oscar was her whole world, and now her world is crumbing. Alexis says, if that’s true, doesn’t she need him more? He says he’s not the right man for the job.
Terry tells Kim that she’s correct. Oscar’s tumor didn’t shrink, and remains inoperable. She’s sorry. Drew says they appreciate how hard she’s fought, and Terry says he’s a wonderful kid. She’s been privileged to get to know him. Kim asks how much time, but she’s not sure. Up until recently, it’s been slow growing. The best they can do is monitor it, and be available for whatever he needs. As for a timeline, it’s too soon to tell. Kim says, so there’s time, and Terry says, there is. She leaves to give them privacy. Drew says they knew it was a long shot. Kim cries, and says, it was. Drew says they’re going to have to tell him. Kim agrees, but says, he’s having such a good day. Josslyn is there; Kristina showed up with a friend; and he’s eating again. What if this is his last happy day? Drew says they can’t let it be. Kim asks to leave it one more day. Give him one more day of hope. They don’t know how many days he’ll have left. Drew knows it’s hard, but they gave him their word. It’s his life, and whatever control is left, they have to give it to him.
Laura tells Scotty that she’s sorry; it’s a tremendous loss. Scotty says Gail thought the world of her, and Laura says she felt the same about Gail. Scotty feels like an orphan. The Baldwin family is disappearing. It was important to them when they were young. Scotty’s parents always had advice. He and Laura married young, and they were there to tell him what he was doing right or wrong. Now there’s no one to remember them but him. Laura tells him to forget the workout, and suggest they go to Kelly’s for coffee. They should get it to go, walk to the pier, and watch the ferry. Scotty says Lee loved to fish there. Laura says he can tell her stories, and then it will be two of them remembering. She tells not-Doc if he wants to talk… but he says, never mind. It was just a passing thought. Laura and Scotty leave, and not-Doc looks at the band. He wraps it around a rope of the boxing ring.
Alexis says the person Julian slept with doesn’t exist, do they? Why lie to Drew and Kim that he slept with an imaginary person? Julian says there was a line he had to cross to get Kim away. Alexis says he didn’t make Kim think it was her, did he? He says, no; however, he didn’t deny it.
Sam makes circles on a paper, saying this is what they have so far. They’ll start with Oscar; he’s Jason’s nephew. Then they’ll go with Drew, his brother. Drew saved Hank/Shiloh, who is the son of her old mark, Henry Archer, and who’s now living with her sister Kristina. Who’s in the middle? Jason says Sam is, Linda Black. Sam says Kristina starts hanging out with him, and she begins getting email under her old alias’s name. Jason says it’s no coincidence. Sam says, no, but there she is, in the bullseye.
Kristina tells Shiloh that she can’t believe he took the time to come. He says all they need is each other. That’s why he’s there. He asks if she’s all settled. It’s her home, and he’s 100% committed to helping her discover what she needs to about herself. She can always come to him.
Drew and Kim go to Oscar’s room. Seeing their faces, he asks what’s wrong. Kim asks Josslyn for a moment alone, but Oscar wants her to stay. Josslyn says only if it’s okay with his parents, and Drew thinks it’s a good idea. He closes the door. We don’t hear them. We only see Oscar’s face as they tell him.
Tomorrow, Josslyn wants to take Oscar to one of those places, Franco tells Elizabeth the trial didn’t work, and Sam says she’s being set up.
Meanwhile, at Vanderpump Dogs, the SUR employees arrive with their pets. Lisa tells them that Yulin is starting again. The situation has improved, but it’s still going on. She’s hoping her campaign will stop the torture and garner attention. Everyone puts on tattoos saying, stop the torture. She wants all dog lovers to wear the tattoo and post it on social media. Even Kristen. The group discusses James. Everyone agrees that he should be gone, and Stassi says they’ll be able to have dinner at SUR again. James shows up, saying he’s not missing the dog event. He’s going to try get back in Lisa’s good graces. Jax thinks it takes something like this to wake him up. In her interview, Kristen says just showing up with a cute puppy doesn’t make you a good person. Charles Manson had dogs. I dunno about that. Usually people make that reference to Hitler, who definitely had a dog. Scheana blathers on about wanting to be single, even though it sounds like she has a new man in her sights. In Jax’s interview, he says, Scheana has one speed; psycho stalker girlfriend.
Stassi is getting excited about her joint birthday party, but stressed out. Ariana is stressed out about James, who is going to be disinvited. Stassi wonders what he’s thinking when he acts like an a-hole, which is 98% of the time. Lisa sees James, and asks how he’s doing. She’s going to talk to his mother, and tell her that James needs support from her. There needs to be a major shift in his attitude. In her interview, Lisa says James was only twenty when she met him. His parents asked her to give him a job. She thought he was destined for success, and feels like this is a personal failure. She knows sometimes she shouldn’t be as involved as she is, but can’t help it. James insists he’s changing his ways.
Ariana asks if Raquel is coming. and Stassi says she is. Ariana calls James over, and explains there are people coming to the party who aren’t comfortable with him being there. He asks if he’s being disinvited, and Stassi says, if Katie and Brittany can’t be at their workplace without being wary of him, how can they be at a party? In James’s interview, he says he thought Ariana was his friend, and it’s sucky that she’s joining forces with Stassi. Ariana says she wants him to come, but not at the discomfort of others. In his interview, he adds that he though she was a leader, but he guesses she’s a follower. I guess he’s not a listener.
Lala and Brittany go to a spa for a booty smoothie. Lala explains, it’s a facial for your bum area. In her interview, Lala says, the booty takes a beating, and her dude is an ass man… and a vagina man… and a boob man… He’s just a man. Afterwards, she says her booty is ready to get some play. She asks Brittany if anyone has asked if she’s worried about Jax. She heard Tom and Ariana talking about how his track record shouldn’t be ignored. We flash back to Tom saying Jax is emotional over his dad, but when it wears off, he’ll be back to his old ways. Brittany says she’s not looking past it, but it feels like a new relationship. In Brittany’s interview, she says she’s disappointed, since Tom and Ariana were just helping them celebrate. She tells Lala she didn’t have Jax’s back last year, but now he’s her family. She’s following her heart.
Beau brings food to Stassi’s place. In her interview, Stassi says after dating five months, she and Beau went to Europe. He surprised her by taking her to several cemeteries. She tells him the cheese won’t taste the same as in Italy. She tells us that he’s different from Patrick. He doesn’t use words she doesn’t understand to be condescending. We flash back to that. In Stassi’s interview, she tells Patrick that she hopes she’s not viewing this myopically, but she feels galvanized by her relationship, you effing d*ck. She’s excited being thirty; it’s a milestone, and she’s proud. She has a great relationship and great friends. Twenty three year old Stassi wasn’t grateful for anything. Now she’s thankful she’s an effing adult.
At Scheana’s new apartment, Adam helps put a daybed together. In her interview, Scheana says she’s attracted to him, but he tells her that he doesn’t want a relationship. She keeps making suggestive comments, but he ignores it. She doesn’t mind flirting with him. Maybe one time he’ll say yes. I don’t know if I’d call what she’s doing flirting. More like a blatant come-on. Which is fine, but he really doesn’t seem interested. He asks about the party, and she assumed the two of them are going together. It’s a winter theme, using Game of Thrones for inspiration. Scheana doesn’t watch it. She claims he’d said it’s her only flaw.
Lisa visits TomTom. She’s ready for it to be open. They’re behind schedule, and have a deadline that she wants to stick with, despite the unforeseen hurdles. James’s mother Jackie stops by. She tells Lisa that she’s nine moths sober. Lisa says she should be proud, and tells Jackie that she’s concerned about James. He has unbelievable disrespect for women. Jackie stops her there, saying she gets the whole movement, but when women come at James, where does he go? Clearly she isn’t interested in preparing her son for the real world. Lisa says his drinking isn’t helping, but Jackie says they’re not talking about that. She says when the alcohol is coupled with him being attacked, how is he supposed to defend himself? Lisa says, not like that, and blurts out that James lost his job. Jackie starts to cry, and asks what he did. She wants to know what set him off. Lisa is much more of a soft touch than I am. This woman is so pissing me off, making it sound like James’s bad behavior is someone else’s fault. No wonder he’s the way he is. I want to smack her, especially since she’s borderline angry at Lisa for being truthful. Lisa says if she’s defending him, it’s not helping. Jackie says she wants to understand. Lisa tells her that she doesn’t have to be there. James should be in therapy, and learning to control his anger. He has to change the way he speaks to women. Jackie says she’s working up the nerve to have balls toward him, because she made mistakes as a mother. She’s allowed him to speak that way, even to her. In Lisa’s interview, she says she has admiration for Jackie’s honesty. There’s no perfect parent, but a sober parent makes wiser decisions. Jackie asks Lisa to give Tuesday night back to James. It scares her, taking everything away, pounding someone when they’re already low. She begs Lisa to do it – for her. Lisa puts her head in her hands, and says right now she can’t put him in SUR; the way he’s spoken to some of the girls. Jackie says Lisa is his mother figure, and Lisa says, no; Jackie is. She needs Jackie to be strong for her son. I’m glad Lisa drew the line there.
We hear Christmas music, which always weirds me out in warm-weather climates. Stassi, Ariana, Katie, and Kristen go to the Almost Christmas store. Kristen explains they’re doing a winter wonderland, ice queen, fierce themed party. In her interview, Stassi says, it’s going to be stress free, and fun as sh*t. She and Ariana both love a theme, and this year, their friends don’t have to choose which party to go to. Stassi sees some weird animated elves, and says it wouldn’t be her birthday without something creepy. They pick out some elves and trees, and set up the delivery. Stassi says she’s thirty, in a healthy relationship, loves her apartment, and loves her dogs. Katie tells her that her little meltdowns don’t matter as much, and Stassi realizes she can’t have meltdowns anymore. We flash back to some of them, and she says she’s past birthday meltdowns… she thinks.
Tom and Schwartz visit Villa Rosa, where Lisa is nursing a bird she found that flew in, and hit a window. In her interview, Lisa says she thinks she was put on the earth to help every wounded bird that comes her way. She asks Schwartz to count the busser shirts, while she talks to tom. She says Tom is the only person who sees James as someone struggling. Tom doesn’t think James has ever had a close friend. The bird Lisa has been holding suddenly springs to life, climbing up the front of her. In his interview, Tom says, Lisa is like Snow White. She can nurse a bird back to health by holding it against her bosom. Lisa thinks James needs therapy. She tells Tom with the help of them and his mom, he can hope toward a better future. In Lisa’s interview, she says if James changes the way he deals with people and moves on, he’ll be fine. She wants the best for him. She tells Tom that James might not be working for her, but she’s not deserting him. Schwarz comes out, and Lisa tells them to take the shirts, and decide where the logo should go. Schwartz counted fifty-seven, but Lisa says there should be eighty-four. They recount the shirts, and she’s correct. In his interview, Schwartz says he’s always had a knack for numbers.
Stassi says everyone is doing their part to help set up the party. Kristen got the house, Brittany got the bartender, and Beau is helping set up. We see Carter using a VR headset. She tells Ariana that one of the perks of being in the industry are that they have hookups everywhere. She and Ariana get their makeup done. In her interview, Stassi says they both decided to be bejeweled beautiful ice queens, with the same hair, makeup, and outfit, so they’re not out-hotting each other. Brittany gets her makeup done, and the ice sculpture comes. Jax shows Brittany what he’s wearing. She tells him about what Ariana and Tom said. She says they don’t think Jax might have really changed, and it’s just that his dad passed away. In Jax’s interview, he wonders what right Tom has to question him. He doesn’t ask questions about Ariana not wanting to marry Tom. He tells Brittany, apparently, Tom and Ariana’s relationship is perfect. Ariana doesn’t want marriage, and Tom sees his friends doing well, so he wants to break them down. Brittany thinks he should talk to Tom. Jax says he was going ask Tom to be his best man. Why be there if he’s not going to be supportive?
At James and Raquel’s place, things aren’t as festive. James is puttering around in the kitchen, when Lisa knocks on the door. In his interview, James says, it’s like the Queen of London visiting the peasants in the old tower. His couch is clean, but he still wants to put a tea towel down for her to sit on. He says Raquel is doing some modeling, and going to the party afterward. Lisa thinks if her partner wasn’t invited, her allegiance would be with her partner. James says he’s not mad. He has bigger things to worry about. She spoke to his mother, and sees a vast difference in how she is. James says he’s proud of her. In James’s interview, he says he and his brothers would come home to their mom drinking, and it would cause fights. He moved out at eighteen. Lisa tells him, being a drunk is not an option, and she hopes she never sees him drunk again. He tells her that his dad is staying with his old roommate Paul. Lisa asks if he’s helping his family, and James says, why wouldn’t he? In Lisa’s interview, she says James’s one redeeming quality is that he stepped up to help his family. At twenty-six, it’s a big responsibility. She tells him that he’s coming across as a humble human, and it’s better than him being an aggressive pr*ck. She says she’s not giving up on him. He thanks her for caring. it means the world to him.
Ariana and Stassi put the finishing touches on their costumes. Stassi thinks Katie looks scary hot as a winter warrior princess. Schwartz, who’s dressed as a bath salt elf, wonders what would happened if they conceived a baby in these outfits? Everyone trickles in. Tom is wearing a custom-made headpiece. He says he centered the costume around it, then found a fur jacket, and the outfit magically came together. He’s the Winter Duke of the North. Okay. Katie introduces the birthday queens. Stassi and Ariana toast each other. In her interview, Ariana says she heard about Stassi’s butt shot tragedy, so she gets a redo. She bends over Stassi’s lap, but Stassi just drinks out of a glass in her hand. Then Stassi puts a glass between her boobs, and pours it into Ariana’s mouth. Or tries to anyway. It just looks messy and awkward, and I’m wondering, why are they doing this? In Katie’s interview, she’s glad Stassi is being the weirdo she is. Patrick wouldn’t have it, but Beau loves her for who she is. Scheana never thought Ariana was this into Stassi, and says, it’s effing weird.
Raquel arrives in silver sequins. In her interview, Kristen says she doesn’t like Raquel, but likes the thought of James home alone. She brings Raquel a welcome drink, and Raquel asks if there’s anything in it. Kristen says, you can’t taste roofies, and Raquel says, that’s reassuring. Beau is wearing an outfit with a lot of tiny, blinking Christmas lights, and Stassi’s mom tells him that he should have a light on his package, appalling both Stassi and me. In his interview, Beau says he’s never had a girlfriend’s mom talk about his package. Awkward. What’s with these people? Last time it was Patrick commenting on Lisa’s ass.
Jax says he’s heard Tom’s been talking negatively about his relationship. He wants Tom handling his bachelor party, and to be his best man. Tom says he was just concerned, and hoping Jax’s father’s death isn’t too much of a catalyst. In Tom’s interview, he says, Jax is a recovering sociopath. He doesn’t want the engagement to turn into something Jax is excited about, then gets bored with, and moves on. Jax says he would never talk about Tom’s relationship. Tom says he’s concerned about when the dust settles, and it’s not something that’s always on Jax’s mind. Jax says after all the things they went through, Brittany still wanted to work it out. Tom says he’s known Jax a long time, and Jax says he knows he has bad tendencies, but he’s doing the right thing. In his interview, Jax says, unlike how Tom is treating him now, he’ll be happy when Tom is engaged, but he knows that’s never going to happen. They hug it out.
The queens wear garbage bags over their outfits, and drink from a blood fountain. I have no clue what it is, but I don’t think it’s real blood. Lala wants to wear Tom’s headpiece in real life. He says she can borrow it. Stassi thanks Raquel for coming, and Raquel says she heard Katie wouldn’t be comfortable with James there. Ariana says she’d love for him to be there, and Stassi says she wouldn’t. Raquel says he hasn’t had a drink since then, but Ariana thinks it’s too fresh. Raquel says she’s trying to get him where they all want him to be. Stassi wants him to be normal, but he body shamed her best friend. Is Raquel stupid? Raquel tells Stassi not to say she’s stupid, and Stassi tells Raquel that she deserves more. When she was in her early twenties, she thought the same thing. In her interview, Stassi understands what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone sh*tty. We flash back to Jax, some other guy whose name I don’t remember, and Patrick. Stassi says she was defending him constantly; she gets Raquel. Raquel says it’s unwanted wisdom, so Stassi gives up. Other guests don bags, and drink from the fountain. Stassi gets stuck on someone else’s costume. In her interview, she says she’s more relaxed this birthday, and a lot has to do with Beau. He’s the best, and she freaking loves him. She asks if she sounds like Scheana talking about Rob. Her worst nightmare.
It’s almost 2 am, and Stassi takes off her makeup. She texts Beau that she’s tired, and asks him to come to bed. She tries to call, and it goes to voicemail. In her interview, she says she wants him in bed with her at the end of the night, so she knows everything is okay. She wants him to love her, and she wants to know she’s loved. He’s still partying and laughing with the other dudes. She leaves a message. She knows he’s read her texts, and he’s legitimately ignoring her. Being left is a big deal; it kills her. She slams down the phone and cries.
Next time, Stassi confronts Beau about her concern that he’ll leave her, the girls have a smashing party, Stassi’s mother embarrasses her, and a staff meeting is held about James.
🌴 The new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres on Tuesday, February 9th at 9 pm.
🍝 He Just Can’t Help Himself…
It’s not about the pasta.
💋 When I Was Sniffing Around the Bravo Site…
I found Giggy! This pup version of VPR is very cute.
🔊 More Roll Calls…
The Walking Dead Dead
💀 While we’re on the subject, The Walking Dead returns for the back half of its ninth season on February 10th, 2019 at 9 pm.
📺 👀 My Weekend Viewing…
Last weekend, I continued my Downton Abbey binge, but took a break for A Quiet Place. You probably already know the gist of the film. A family has to hide from monsters who find their prey by sound, so there’s precious little of it. This also makes the actors have to work at least twice as hard, so it had to be a labor of love for Jim John Krasinski, as he wrote it, directed it, and starred in it. And I doubt he got three paychecks. He and real life wife Emily Blunt are superb, as are the kids. I was impressed and riveted. Since it’s just premiering on cable, I don’t want to give the ending away, but let me say this. At first, I was like, I want my money back. Then I thought, ‘twas feedback killed the beast. And finally, I was, ha-ha-ha! Girls rule! Catch it if you can
In other viewing, we’re at the Couples Tell All point on 90 Day Fiancé, as I feverishly work on my dissertation of the season. And quite a season it was, with two couples having a baby – one on the scene before the season started, and another born during. There was witchy-poo Leida, who finally trumped Jax for worst human being on earth, and might as well have said she’s just in it for the green card and whatever else she can get. We also have Colt and Larissa, possibly the most popular with the fans, but not necessarily in a good way. I was skeptical of her intentions, since dude lives with his mother and a bunch of cats. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but come on. She’s a hottie from Brazil. I’m not sure what it is he has – I don’t see it – but I think she really wants him. Things went from bad to worse, with Colt’s cousin hammering insults at her while Colt just looked at the sky. Then, on a subsequent occasion, Colt called the police when he couldn’t handle Larissa in an argument. This turned out to be a seriously bad move. Even though he told them not to come, they showed up, and even though he declined to press charges, the state had other ideas. No surprise, this doesn’t look good when applying for a green card. They got married anyway, and, well, a conversation for another blog.
The weirdest thing was, I had a dream about Colt. We were co-workers at a restaurant. I have no idea what that means. Sundays have turned out to give great TV – 90 Day Fiancé, Dirty John, and Return to Amish. It’s a night I’d rather watch than write about, although I take notes on 90 Day Fiancé. That show is such crap, but I could watch it all day. I guess that’s how some people feel about Big Brother. I tried watching that, but I just couldn’t stick with it. Dirty John is at the opposite end of the spectrum, with excellent writing and acting.
In other news, while browsing entertainment articles online, I saw an article praising George Clooney for being “humble and approachable” on the set of Catch-22. Why wouldn’t he be? Why is he being given kudos for something that would be expected at any other job?
👰 A Taste of 90…
Those crazy kids.
🎸 I Got Those Post-Holiday Blues…