Tag Archives: Return to Amish

January 7, 2019 – Sam Makes a Connection, a Winter Wonderland Ice Queen Fierce Party, LVP’s Orbit, More Roll Calls, Weekend Watching, Coltie & After the Holidaze


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I missed the beginning. Only until the opening credits.

Alexis drops by Sam’s place. She was hoping to spend one-on-one time with her favorite middle daughter. Sam thought Kristina had texted; she moved out. Alexis asks if she moved in with Sonny, and Sam say, no. She moved in with Daisy and some other friends. Alexis says that’s the house situation Oscar is living in; good for her. Sam asks who she is and what has she done with her mother? Alexis says they’re nice to Oscar, and she hopes they’ll be as welcoming to Kristina. She’s an adult, can make her own decisions, and she respects that. Sam isn’t buying it, and Alexis tells her, as they say in the program, fake it till you make it. Jason comes in, and Alexis asks Sam when the move happened. Sam says Kristina had been getting more involved with the Dawn of Day people, a space opened up, and she grabbed it. She and Jason had questions, so they went over and asked. Alexis asks what she thinks, and Sam says, it feels like home. Alexis likes the system of Sam worrying first. She thanks Sam and Jason, saying it’s nice that Kristina has the two of them to look out for her, and leaves.

Josslyn has Oscar’s critique of Of Mice and Men. He got an A-. He says he’s sorry, bringing shame on her, him, and their ancestors. She’s brought his schoolwork, and asks what he wants to do, and he tells her that he has a special assignment. He shows her the journal; her favorite project. He’s been adding to it, and says he wants to spend he longest day in the mountains, from sunrise to sunset.

Julian tells Drew, message received, but Drew isn’t done. He wonders if Kim spent too many nights with her son, and wasn’t giving Julian enough attention, so he ended the relationship over nothing. Julian doesn’t want to discuss it with Drew, but Drew says Kim trusted him. She believed in him when everyone warned her not to. Julian says, everyone was right; congratulate them. Drew calls him Charlie, and says he’ll give him credit for one thing. He kept up the charade longer than Drew thought he would.

Kim tells Terry that Oscar is looking better, and he’s eating. Josslyn even has him doing homework, and thinking about the SATs and where to go to college; his future. Terry says, the most important thing is, he’s opened himself up to love. Clinically, and scientifically, love helps.

At the gym, not-Doc asks Laura if she should be wandering around alone with a killer on the loose. She asks if that’s why he followed her, and he says she can’t be too careful. She thanks him for that, and for what he said at the meeting. She thinks it’s odd to receive and endorsement from a soon-to-be ex, but he says Port Charles needs a fighter like her in office; he meant what he said. She tells him that she did too. If elected, she’ll be an advocate for mental health, starting with Ferncliff. He tells her no one respects and understands commitment to reform like he does, but she needs to prioritize the needs of the entire city. While she’s looking after the greater good, he volunteers to keep an eye on what happens at Ferncliff.

Sam looks at the laptop, and tells Jason that she understands why Dawn of Day is appealing to Kristina. It’s about empowerment, confidence in community, and excellence through action. They do a lot of volunteering; at the food pantry, the homeless shelter, the soup kitchen. There are no red flags. Jason says, bad guys don’t advertise that they’re bad guys. Sam says, it all seems sincere, but something is up. They’re hiding something or have an agenda. She asks how the book is, and Jason says it basically covers what Shiloh told them, but in more detail. Troublemaker Hank almost got killed in Afghanistan, and Drew saved him. He reads, it wasn’t just Hank’s body lifted off the field, but his soul was in Drew’s hands. Drew’s singular choice to save him not only changed Hank’s life, but his world. Sam thinks he’s laying it on thick. Kristina is looking for a spiritual identity; she’s drifting, and he’s giving her direction. Jason asks if she doesn’t like it, and Sam says, no; does he? He says he’s more interesting in Hank’s life before he became Shiloh. Why did he have to reinvent himself? What’s he running from?

Kristina brings Shiloh to Oscar’s room, and introduces him to Josslyn. Oscar says it’s nice of Shiloh to let him crash at his house, but Shiloh says, it’s everyone’s house. They miss Oscar, and he’s looking forward to getting to know him better. Josslyn knows what the group does, but asks what about Shiloh specifically? Shiloh says he gives space for people to listen, and learn to trust themselves. Josslyn says, like a therapist or guru? Shiloh doesn’t think of himself as a leader. It’s a community; he just paves the way. Kristina suggests Josslyn join them at the next meeting. Shiloh says she’s more than welcome. Oscar wants to start paying Shiloh back, but Shiloh says the community is paid by serving others.

Julian tells Drew that he doesn’t owe him any explanations. Drew says he’s a selfish SOB, like he always was. He guesses a dying kid interfered with the relationship, and asks when Julian’s motivation ran out. Julian says when he saw Drew and Kim kissing.

Not-Doc tells Laura, the patients at Ferncliff are criminally insane; damaged beyond repair. Laura asks if that means he doesn’t want to advocate for them. They both have mental health issues in their past, and she thought they agreed. He’s concerned some of the patients might be manipulative, and if their found sane, they’ll be shipped to prison. Laura asks if he didn’t once ask what worse punishment can there be than to live with a broken mind? While their talking, not-Doc has been wrapping an exercise band around his hands. Laura says he’s cutting off his own circulation.

Not-Doc says it’s a nervous habit. Laura asks, since when? and he snaps that it’s new; he’s working it through. She asks if he’s all right, and he says he’s fine. She says there’s no one there; just them. Is there something he needs to tell her? Now’s his chance. He says she knows him well. There is something he’s wanted to say since she came home. It needed to be the right time. He stretches the band, and says, maybe the moment has arrived. Scotty walks in, and says he came to hit a heavy bag. He might have to knock out a knife wielding lunatic. Not-Doc says leave it to Scotty to bring fists to a knife fight, and Scotty says leave it to Doc to wear a suit at the gym. He asks if they’re getting back together, and not-Doc says, no. It’s none of Scotty’s business. Laura says they’re friends, and it is. Scotty tells them about the self-defense class, saying he thinks everyone should take it. They don’t know who will be next.

Oscar marvels over his dad saving and inspiring Shiloh. Josslyn asks how it’s possible no one made the connection, but Shiloh says he didn’t know who Oscar’s parents were. Oscar asks if Shiloh saw his dad, and if Drew remembered him. Shiloh says he saw Drew, but he didn’t remember. Drew told him about his condition, but he’s made an impressive life for himself. Oscar says his dad is a great guy. Shiloh says, even if Drew didn’t have a memory issue, he might not recognize him. He put the angry boy behind him. Oscar wonders if Shiloh can tell him about Drew’s time in the service. Shiloh says he’d be more than happy to, if it’s cool with Oscar’s dad. Kim walks in, asking if there’s a party she wasn’t invited to. Kristina introduces her to Shiloh, who hopes he didn’t cause friction. Kim is glad he gave Oscar a place to stay while they were sorting things out. Shiloh says they love Oscar, and wonder when he’s coming back. Oscar tells Kim that he wants to come home tomorrow, if it’s cool with her. She says nothing would make her happier. They hug.

Sam tells Jason that Dawn of Day first filed their incorporation under D. H. Archer; a personal marketing platform. She says that D.H. is David Henry. He’s the only son and surviving child of Henry Archer, one of her husbands.

Oscar explains about the trial, and Kristina asks if it hurt. He says, no; it just made him tired. Kim sees Terry outside the room, and says she has to check on the smaller babies. She excuses herself, and in the hallway, Terry tells her, it’s time to call Drew. Oscar’s test results are in.

Drew says Julian broke things off because of a little New Year’s Eve kiss between exes? Julian tells him, don’t say it’s nothing. Alexis wants to interject before they say things they’ll regret. Drew says he won’t regret anything, but Alexis says it doesn’t appear they’ll say anything that will help Kim. Maybe they should go in their separate corners. Julian wants Drew to hear this. He got tired of spending night after night alone, but New Year’s Eve was supposed to be their night. Kim preferred spending it with Drew, so he responded in kind. Drew said he didn’t wait two seconds to ask what was going on before he slept with someone else, and Julian says, what’s good for the goose. Drew gets a text from Kim saying the test results are in. He tells Julian that he didn’t deserve Kim, and jets. Alexis asks why Julian just lied to Drew.

Sam tells Jason that Henry was one of her first big ones. He was huge in advertising, and wanted a pretty, much younger woman on his arm. She wasn’t his first, and she’s sure she wasn’t his last. Jason thinks she must have met Shiloh, but she doesn’t remember meeting him. She thinks he refused to come to the wedding on the grounds she was a gold-digging tramp, who would be taking his inheritance. He wasn’t entirely wrong. Jason says Henry must have talked about him, and Sam says Henry called him David. She thinks calling himself Hank was his way of rebelling. She got the impression that he was living off of hi trust fund. Jason says he must have known about her. Wouldn’t he have recognized her? She says, maybe he was waiting to see if she recognized him.

Alexis tells Julian, bailing after one kiss is wimpy of him. He says he’s clearly not what Kim needs. It’s a family crisis, and he’s not part of the family. He’s not walking away, just giving up.

Scotty tells Laura and not-Doc the last victim was a producer who was making a documentary about Ryan. He was a nice guy, and had asked questions about the killing spree, but that’s not the creepy part. All of the interview footage is missing. Laura asks if they think the killer took it, and Scotty says that’s the theory. Maybe he stumbled on something about Ryan the killer didn’t want anyone to know. Laura wonders what could have any consequence, and Scotty says maybe the killer is a copycat, and is trying to circumvent any leads. The police think they’re getting cocky, and will try to murder the wrong person at the wrong time, and be sent to prison for the rest of their miserable life.

Oscar thinks it’s cool that Shiloh knew his dad. Josslyn asks him to bring his attention back to his first day out. She’s already told her mom that she’s not going to school, and suggests lunch at Kelly’s, Oscar agrees, and she says, then what? He wants to go to the docks. He’s sick of staring at the walls, and just wants to look out on the water. Josslyn says, done, and he suggests following it with ping pong at the Quartermaine’s – if she doesn’t mind losing. Oscar suddenly looks pensive, and asks, what happens after tomorrow when he goes back to school? Do they know what’s going on? He doesn’t want them to look differently at him. Josslyn says, it doesn’t matter. She’ll be with him, and no matter what happens, they’ll face it together.

On her tablet, Terry shows Drew and Kim Oscar’s tumor before treatment, and the tumor yesterday. Kim takes the tablet. Drew says he’s the only non-doctor in the room. Can they explain what they’re looking at? Kim says it hasn’t shrunk. Terry says it’s almost nine centimeters, and the growth in the brain tissue is entangled in major blood vessels. The treatment failed. Drew asks what it means, and Kim says, it’s still inoperable. Oscar is going to die.

Not-Doc admires Scotty’s confidence in the police. Scotty says the killer thinks a lot of himself – or herself – but no one is untouchable. Not-Doc says no one caught the Zodiac killer or Jack the Ripper. Scotty is sure they got what was coming to them. Gail always told him, what goes around comes around, and you need to think before you act. Laura says she remembers Gail telling them that, and he says, most of the time, she was right. Laura says, Gail is a wonderful woman, and she’s glad he persevered. Scotty tells them, Gail passed away.

Sam tells Jason, whoever Shiloh is, he’s made no attempt to hide his personal history. He grew up with wealth being the chief motivator, and wanted to reinvent a meaningful purpose, making a welcoming community. Buzzwords; he seems like he’s full of crap. Jason says there are too many coincidences connected with Shiloh, Drew, and Oscar. And now Kristina. There are too many people he cares about in Shiloh’s orbit.

Julian tells Alexis that Kim chose Drew. Alexis says she kissed Drew, and chose Julian. She doesn’t want it to end as much as he doesn’t. Julian says she told him Oscar was her whole world, and now her world is crumbing. Alexis says, if that’s true, doesn’t she need him more? He says he’s not the right man for the job.

Terry tells Kim that she’s correct. Oscar’s tumor didn’t shrink, and remains inoperable. She’s sorry. Drew says they appreciate how hard she’s fought, and Terry says he’s a wonderful kid. She’s been privileged to get to know him. Kim asks how much time, but she’s not sure. Up until recently, it’s been slow growing. The best they can do is monitor it, and be available for whatever he needs. As for a timeline, it’s too soon to tell. Kim says, so there’s time, and Terry says, there is. She leaves to give them privacy. Drew says they knew it was a long shot. Kim cries, and says, it was. Drew says they’re going to have to tell him. Kim agrees, but says, he’s having such a good day. Josslyn is there; Kristina showed up with a friend; and he’s eating again. What if this is his last happy day? Drew says they can’t let it be. Kim asks to leave it one more day. Give him one more day of hope. They don’t know how many days he’ll have left. Drew knows it’s hard, but they gave him their word. It’s his life, and whatever control is left, they have to give it to him.

Laura tells Scotty that she’s sorry; it’s a tremendous loss. Scotty says Gail thought the world of her, and Laura says she felt the same about Gail. Scotty feels like an orphan. The Baldwin family is disappearing. It was important to them when they were young. Scotty’s parents always had advice. He and Laura married young, and they were there to tell him what he was doing right or wrong. Now there’s no one to remember them but him. Laura tells him to forget the workout, and suggest they go to Kelly’s for coffee. They should get it to go, walk to the pier, and watch the ferry. Scotty says Lee loved to fish there. Laura says he can tell her stories, and then it will be two of them remembering. She tells not-Doc if he wants to talk… but he says, never mind. It was just a passing thought. Laura and Scotty leave, and not-Doc looks at the band. He wraps it around a rope of the boxing ring.

Alexis says the person Julian slept with doesn’t exist, do they? Why lie to Drew and Kim that he slept with an imaginary person? Julian says there was a line he had to cross to get Kim away. Alexis says he didn’t make Kim think it was her, did he? He says, no; however, he didn’t deny it.

Sam makes circles on a paper, saying this is what they have so far. They’ll start with Oscar; he’s Jason’s nephew. Then they’ll go with Drew, his brother. Drew saved Hank/Shiloh, who is the son of her old mark, Henry Archer, and who’s now living with her sister Kristina. Who’s in the middle? Jason says Sam is, Linda Black. Sam says Kristina starts hanging out with him, and she begins getting email under her old alias’s name. Jason says it’s no coincidence. Sam says, no, but there she is, in the bullseye.

Kristina tells Shiloh that she can’t believe he took the time to come. He says all they need is each other. That’s why he’s there. He asks if she’s all settled. It’s her home, and he’s 100% committed to helping her discover what she needs to about herself. She can always come to him.

Drew and Kim go to Oscar’s room. Seeing their faces, he asks what’s wrong. Kim asks Josslyn for a moment alone, but Oscar wants her to stay. Josslyn says only if it’s okay with his parents, and Drew thinks it’s a good idea. He closes the door. We don’t hear them. We only see Oscar’s face as they tell him.

Tomorrow, Josslyn wants to take Oscar to one of those places, Franco tells Elizabeth the trial didn’t work, and Sam says she’s being set up.

Vanderpump Rules

Meanwhile, at Vanderpump Dogs, the SUR employees arrive with their pets. Lisa tells them that Yulin is starting again. The situation has improved, but it’s still going on. She’s hoping her campaign will stop the torture and garner attention. Everyone puts on tattoos saying, stop the torture. She wants all dog lovers to wear the tattoo and post it on social media. Even Kristen. The group discusses James. Everyone agrees that he should be gone, and Stassi says they’ll be able to have dinner at SUR again. James shows up, saying he’s not missing the dog event. He’s going to try get back in Lisa’s good graces. Jax thinks it takes something like this to wake him up. In her interview, Kristen says just showing up with a cute puppy doesn’t make you a good person. Charles Manson had dogs. I dunno about that. Usually people make that reference to Hitler, who definitely had a dog. Scheana blathers on about wanting to be single, even though it sounds like she has a new man in her sights. In Jax’s interview, he says, Scheana has one speed; psycho stalker girlfriend.

Stassi is getting excited about her joint birthday party, but stressed out. Ariana is stressed out about James, who is going to be disinvited. Stassi wonders what he’s thinking when he acts like an a-hole, which is 98% of the time. Lisa sees James, and asks how he’s doing. She’s going to talk to his mother, and tell her that James needs support from her. There needs to be a major shift in his attitude. In her interview, Lisa says James was only twenty when she met him. His parents asked her to give him a job. She thought he was destined for success, and feels like this is a personal failure. She knows sometimes she shouldn’t be as involved as she is, but can’t help it. James insists he’s changing his ways.

Ariana asks if Raquel is coming. and Stassi says she is. Ariana calls James over, and explains there are people coming to the party who aren’t comfortable with him being there. He asks if he’s being disinvited, and Stassi says, if Katie and Brittany can’t be at their workplace without being wary of him, how can they be at a party? In James’s interview, he says he thought Ariana was his friend, and it’s sucky that she’s joining forces with Stassi. Ariana says she wants him to come, but not at the discomfort of others. In his interview, he adds that he though she was a leader, but he guesses she’s a follower. I guess he’s not a listener.

Lala and Brittany go to a spa for a booty smoothie. Lala explains, it’s a facial for your bum area. In her interview, Lala says, the booty takes a beating, and her dude is an ass man… and a vagina man… and a boob man… He’s just a man. Afterwards, she says her booty is ready to get some play. She asks Brittany if anyone has asked if she’s worried about Jax. She heard Tom and Ariana talking about how his track record shouldn’t be ignored. We flash back to Tom saying Jax is emotional over his dad, but when it wears off, he’ll be back to his old ways. Brittany says she’s not looking past it, but it feels like a new relationship. In Brittany’s interview, she says she’s disappointed, since Tom and Ariana were just helping them celebrate. She tells Lala she didn’t have Jax’s back last year, but now he’s her family. She’s following her heart.

Beau brings food to Stassi’s place. In her interview, Stassi says after dating five months, she and Beau went to Europe. He surprised her by taking her to several cemeteries. She tells him the cheese won’t taste the same as in Italy. She tells us that he’s different from Patrick. He doesn’t use words she doesn’t understand to be condescending. We flash back to that. In Stassi’s interview, she tells Patrick that she hopes she’s not viewing this myopically, but she feels galvanized by her relationship, you effing d*ck. She’s excited being thirty; it’s a milestone, and she’s proud. She has a great relationship and great friends. Twenty three year old Stassi wasn’t grateful for anything. Now she’s thankful she’s an effing adult.

At Scheana’s new apartment, Adam helps put a daybed together. In her interview, Scheana says she’s attracted to him, but he tells her that he doesn’t want a relationship. She keeps making suggestive comments, but he ignores it. She doesn’t mind flirting with him. Maybe one time he’ll say yes. I don’t know if I’d call what she’s doing flirting. More like a blatant come-on. Which is fine, but he really doesn’t seem interested. He asks about the party, and she assumed the two of them are going together. It’s a winter theme, using Game of Thrones for inspiration. Scheana doesn’t watch it. She claims he’d said it’s her only flaw.

Lisa visits TomTom. She’s ready for it to be open. They’re behind schedule, and have a deadline that she wants to stick with, despite the unforeseen hurdles. James’s mother Jackie stops by. She tells Lisa that she’s nine moths sober. Lisa says she should be proud, and tells Jackie that she’s concerned about James. He has unbelievable disrespect for women. Jackie stops her there, saying she gets the whole movement, but when women come at James, where does he go? Clearly she isn’t interested in preparing her son for the real world. Lisa says his drinking isn’t helping, but Jackie says they’re not talking about that. She says when the alcohol is coupled with him being attacked, how is he supposed to defend himself? Lisa says, not like that, and blurts out that James lost his job. Jackie starts to cry, and asks what he did. She wants to know what set him off. Lisa is much more of a soft touch than I am. This woman is so pissing me off, making it sound like James’s bad behavior is someone else’s fault. No wonder he’s the way he is. I want to smack her, especially since she’s borderline angry at Lisa for being truthful. Lisa says if she’s defending him, it’s not helping. Jackie says she wants to understand. Lisa tells her that she doesn’t have to be there. James should be in therapy, and learning to control his anger. He has to change the way he speaks to women. Jackie says she’s working up the nerve to have balls toward him, because she made mistakes as a mother. She’s allowed him to speak that way, even to her. In Lisa’s interview, she says she has admiration for Jackie’s honesty. There’s no perfect parent, but a sober parent makes wiser decisions. Jackie asks Lisa to give Tuesday night back to James. It scares her, taking everything away, pounding someone when they’re already low. She begs Lisa to do it – for her. Lisa puts her head in her hands, and says right now she can’t put him in SUR; the way he’s spoken to some of the girls. Jackie says Lisa is his mother figure, and Lisa says, no; Jackie is. She needs Jackie to be strong for her son. I’m glad Lisa drew the line there.

We hear Christmas music, which always weirds me out in warm-weather climates. Stassi, Ariana, Katie, and Kristen go to the Almost Christmas store. Kristen explains they’re doing a winter wonderland, ice queen, fierce themed party. In her interview, Stassi says, it’s going to be stress free, and fun as sh*t. She and Ariana both love a theme, and this year, their friends don’t have to choose which party to go to. Stassi sees some weird animated elves, and says it wouldn’t be her birthday without something creepy. They pick out some elves and trees, and set up the delivery. Stassi says she’s thirty, in a healthy relationship, loves her apartment, and loves her dogs. Katie tells her that her little meltdowns don’t matter as much, and Stassi realizes she can’t have meltdowns anymore. We flash back to some of them, and she says she’s past birthday meltdowns… she thinks.

Tom and Schwartz visit Villa Rosa, where Lisa is nursing a bird she found that flew in, and hit a window. In her interview, Lisa says she thinks she was put on the earth to help every wounded bird that comes her way. She asks Schwartz to count the busser shirts, while she talks to tom. She says Tom is the only person who sees James as someone struggling. Tom doesn’t think James has ever had a close friend. The bird Lisa has been holding suddenly springs to life, climbing up the front of her. In his interview, Tom says, Lisa is like Snow White. She can nurse a bird back to health by holding it against her bosom. Lisa thinks James needs therapy. She tells Tom with the help of them and his mom, he can hope toward a better future. In Lisa’s interview, she says if James changes the way he deals with people and moves on, he’ll be fine. She wants the best for him. She tells Tom that James might not be working for her, but she’s not deserting him. Schwarz comes out, and Lisa tells them to take the shirts, and decide where the logo should go. Schwartz counted fifty-seven, but Lisa says there should be eighty-four. They recount the shirts, and she’s correct. In his interview, Schwartz says he’s always had a knack for numbers.

Stassi says everyone is doing their part to help set up the party. Kristen got the house, Brittany got the bartender, and Beau is helping set up. We see Carter using a VR headset. She tells Ariana that one of the perks of being in the industry are that they have hookups everywhere. She and Ariana get their makeup done. In her interview, Stassi says they both decided to be bejeweled beautiful ice queens, with the same hair, makeup, and outfit, so they’re not out-hotting each other. Brittany gets her makeup done, and the ice sculpture comes. Jax shows Brittany what he’s wearing. She tells him about what Ariana and Tom said. She says they don’t think Jax might have really changed, and it’s just that his dad passed away. In Jax’s interview, he wonders what right Tom has to question him. He doesn’t ask questions about Ariana not wanting to marry Tom. He tells Brittany, apparently, Tom and Ariana’s relationship is perfect. Ariana doesn’t want marriage, and Tom sees his friends doing well, so he wants to break them down. Brittany thinks he should talk to Tom. Jax says he was going ask Tom to be his best man. Why be there if he’s not going to be supportive?

At James and Raquel’s place, things aren’t as festive. James is puttering around in the kitchen, when Lisa knocks on the door. In his interview, James says, it’s like the Queen of London visiting the peasants in the old tower. His couch is clean, but he still wants to put a tea towel down for her to sit on. He says Raquel is doing some modeling, and going to the party afterward. Lisa thinks if her partner wasn’t invited, her allegiance would be with her partner. James says he’s not mad. He has bigger things to worry about. She spoke to his mother, and sees a vast difference in how she is. James says he’s proud of her. In James’s interview, he says he and his brothers would come home to their mom drinking, and it would cause fights. He moved out at eighteen. Lisa tells him, being a drunk is not an option, and she hopes she never sees him drunk again. He tells her that his dad is staying with his old roommate Paul. Lisa asks if he’s helping his family, and James says, why wouldn’t he? In Lisa’s interview, she says James’s one redeeming quality is that he stepped up to help his family. At twenty-six, it’s a big responsibility. She tells him that he’s coming across as a humble human, and it’s better than him being an aggressive pr*ck. She says she’s not giving up on him. He thanks her for caring. it means the world to him.

Ariana and Stassi put the finishing touches on their costumes. Stassi thinks Katie looks scary hot as a winter warrior princess. Schwartz, who’s dressed as a bath salt elf, wonders what would happened if they conceived a baby in these outfits? Everyone trickles in. Tom is wearing a custom-made headpiece. He says he centered the costume around it, then found a fur jacket, and the outfit magically came together. He’s the Winter Duke of the North. Okay. Katie introduces the birthday queens. Stassi and Ariana toast each other. In her interview, Ariana says she heard about Stassi’s butt shot tragedy, so she gets a redo. She bends over Stassi’s lap, but Stassi just drinks out of a glass in her hand. Then Stassi puts a glass between her boobs, and pours it into Ariana’s mouth. Or tries to anyway. It just looks messy and awkward, and I’m wondering, why are they doing this? In Katie’s interview, she’s glad Stassi is being the weirdo she is. Patrick wouldn’t have it, but Beau loves her for who she is. Scheana never thought Ariana was this into Stassi, and says, it’s effing weird.

Raquel arrives in silver sequins. In her interview, Kristen says she doesn’t like Raquel, but likes the thought of James home alone. She brings Raquel a welcome drink, and Raquel asks if there’s anything in it. Kristen says, you can’t taste roofies, and Raquel says, that’s reassuring. Beau is wearing an outfit with a lot of tiny, blinking Christmas lights, and Stassi’s mom tells him that he should have a light on his package, appalling both Stassi and me. In his interview, Beau says he’s never had a girlfriend’s mom talk about his package. Awkward. What’s with these people? Last time it was Patrick commenting on Lisa’s ass.

Jax says he’s heard Tom’s been talking negatively about his relationship. He wants Tom handling his bachelor party, and to be his best man. Tom says he was just concerned, and hoping Jax’s father’s death isn’t too much of a catalyst. In Tom’s interview, he says, Jax is a recovering sociopath. He doesn’t want the engagement to turn into something Jax is excited about, then gets bored with, and moves on. Jax says he would never talk about Tom’s relationship. Tom says he’s concerned about when the dust settles, and it’s not something that’s always on Jax’s mind. Jax says after all the things they went through, Brittany still wanted to work it out. Tom says he’s known Jax a long time, and Jax says he knows he has bad tendencies, but he’s doing the right thing. In his interview, Jax says, unlike how Tom is treating him now, he’ll be happy when Tom is engaged, but he knows that’s never going to happen. They hug it out.

The queens wear garbage bags over their outfits, and drink from a blood fountain. I have no clue what it is, but I don’t think it’s real blood. Lala wants to wear Tom’s headpiece in real life. He says she can borrow it. Stassi thanks Raquel for coming, and Raquel says she heard Katie wouldn’t be comfortable with James there. Ariana says she’d love for him to be there, and Stassi says she wouldn’t. Raquel says he hasn’t had a drink since then, but Ariana thinks it’s too fresh. Raquel says she’s trying to get him where they all want him to be. Stassi wants him to be normal, but he body shamed her best friend. Is Raquel stupid? Raquel tells Stassi not to say she’s stupid, and Stassi tells Raquel that she deserves more. When she was in her early twenties, she thought the same thing. In her interview, Stassi understands what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone sh*tty. We flash back to Jax, some other guy whose name I don’t remember, and Patrick. Stassi says she was defending him constantly; she gets Raquel. Raquel says it’s unwanted wisdom, so Stassi gives up. Other guests don bags, and drink from the fountain. Stassi gets stuck on someone else’s costume. In her interview, she says she’s more relaxed this birthday, and a lot has to do with Beau. He’s the best, and she freaking loves him. She asks if she sounds like Scheana talking about Rob. Her worst nightmare.

It’s almost 2 am, and Stassi takes off her makeup. She texts Beau that she’s tired, and asks him to come to bed. She tries to call, and it goes to voicemail. In her interview, she says she wants him in bed with her at the end of the night, so she knows everything is okay. She wants him to love her, and she wants to know she’s loved. He’s still partying and laughing with the other dudes. She leaves a message. She knows he’s read her texts, and he’s legitimately ignoring her. Being left is a big deal; it kills her. She slams down the phone and cries.

Next time, Stassi confronts Beau about her concern that he’ll leave her, the girls have a smashing party, Stassi’s mother embarrasses her, and a staff meeting is held about James.

🌴 The new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres on Tuesday, February 9th at 9 pm.

🍝 He Just Can’t Help Himself…

It’s not about the pasta.


💋 When I Was Sniffing Around the Bravo Site…

I found Giggy! This pup version of VPR is very cute.


🔊 More Roll Calls…

Soap Dead


SciFi Dead


The Walking Dead Dead


💀 While we’re on the subject, The Walking Dead returns for the back half of its ninth season on February 10th, 2019 at 9 pm.

📺 👀 My Weekend Viewing…

Last weekend, I continued my Downton Abbey binge, but took a break for A Quiet Place. You probably already know the gist of the film. A family has to hide from monsters who find their prey by sound, so there’s precious little of it. This also makes the actors have to work at least twice as hard, so it had to be a labor of love for Jim John Krasinski, as he wrote it, directed it, and starred in it. And I doubt he got three paychecks. He and real life wife Emily Blunt are superb, as are the kids. I was impressed and riveted. Since it’s just premiering on cable, I don’t want to give the ending away, but let me say this. At first, I was like, I want my money back. Then I thought, ‘twas feedback killed the beast. And finally, I was, ha-ha-ha! Girls rule! Catch it if you can

In other viewing, we’re at the Couples Tell All point on 90 Day Fiancé, as I feverishly work on my dissertation of the season. And quite a season it was, with two couples having a baby – one on the scene before the season started, and another born during. There was witchy-poo Leida, who finally trumped Jax for worst human being on earth, and might as well have said she’s just in it for the green card and whatever else she can get. We also have Colt and Larissa, possibly the most popular with the fans, but not necessarily in a good way. I was skeptical of her intentions, since dude lives with his mother and a bunch of cats. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but come on. She’s a hottie from Brazil. I’m not sure what it is he has – I don’t see it – but I think she really wants him. Things went from bad to worse, with Colt’s cousin hammering insults at her while Colt just looked at the sky. Then, on a subsequent occasion, Colt called the police when he couldn’t handle Larissa in an argument. This turned out to be a seriously bad move. Even though he told them not to come, they showed up, and even though he declined to press charges, the state had other ideas. No surprise, this doesn’t look good when applying for a green card. They got married anyway, and, well, a conversation for another blog.

The weirdest thing was, I had a dream about Colt. We were co-workers at a restaurant. I have no idea what that means. Sundays have turned out to give great TV – 90 Day Fiancé, Dirty John, and Return to Amish. It’s a night I’d rather watch than write about, although I take notes on 90 Day Fiancé. That show is such crap, but I could watch it all day. I guess that’s how some people feel about Big Brother. I tried watching that, but I just couldn’t stick with it. Dirty John is at the opposite end of the spectrum, with excellent writing and acting.

In other news, while browsing entertainment articles online, I saw an article praising George Clooney for being “humble and approachable” on the set of Catch-22. Why wouldn’t he be? Why is he being given kudos for something that would be expected at any other job?

👰 A Taste of 90…

Those crazy kids.


🎸 I Got Those Post-Holiday Blues…


afterholiday2 afterholiday4

afterholiday3 afterholiday7

Or work…



November 18, 2018 – Daryl Gets a Dog, Some Talk, Amish Return, a Dinner & It’s Here Again


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


The Walking Dead

Rosita is being chased through the woods. She stops at a tree for water, but the bottle is empty. She slumps against the tree.

Daryl, Carol, and Henry walk through a different part of the woods. Daryl is carrying firewood, and drops it at his camp near the river. Carol asks if he’s fixed the boat since last time. He’s not being very communicative, and she asks when he last ate. Apparently, he’s acquired a dog – looks like a German Shepherd mix – and he says, the dog ate yesterday. She’s not talking about that.

Michonne and Siddiq are taking Magna’s group to Hilltop. Michonne tells Siddiq he’ll feel better if he says it. Siddiq says she should have let them stay. He thinks she likes them. He’s not hearing her deny it. She says it doesn’t mean she trusts them. Luke says Magna gave Michonne the option not to trust them. She and Kelly want to get back to their camp. Magna wants her knife back. Yumiko tells Michonne, sorry about Magna; she can be hotheaded. She’s been on edge since they lost Bernie. She talks about how he used to wear a horrid shirt. It was like looking into creation in paisley. Magna said it gave her a headache, so he wore it every day for a week. Magna came around on the shirt, like they came around on Magna. Michonne says, like family. Yumiko asks if Hilltop is safe. Michonne says it is, and Yumiko asks what it’s like. Michonne says it’s been a while since she’s been there, and Yumiko says, then how does she know it’s safe? Michonne says she promised her daughter that she’d get them there, and she will. They just have to trust her.

Hilltop is looking good. There are tons of crops, blacksmithing and pottery making going on, and Enid being a doctor. Jesus listens to music on an old gramophone Tara drops by. She says he’s been spending a lot of time with records. She goes over some farming stuff, other operational issues, and a couple of complaints. She tells him, congratulations; he’s been reelected leader. He says, winning is a given when there’s no one running against you. She asks if he still thinks it’s temporary. He wants to check on Tammy’s crops, but Tara says she has a list. He tells her to ask when he gets back

Daryl shoots a snake for dinner, and stabs a zombie with the same arrow after he gets it back. He’s a multi-tasker. Carol asks if he’s just leaving the zombie, and he says it keeps the animals away. She says he’s longer than he said he’d be. He says he likes it; it’s quiet. He asks how the king is, and she says he’s having a hard time letting go. She’s taking Henry to Hilltop. He’s going to apprentice as a smithy. Daryl appreciates the visit, but wonders why she’s really there. She wants him to come with them. They have problems of their own at the Kingdom, and she’d feel better if Daryl could go with Henry. He says he can’t babysit, but she says it’s not like that. Henry is an idealist, like Ezekiel, which is important, but it can be dangerous. Daryl says he has to learn for himself. Like they did.

Magna’s camp has been torn apart. There are a few zombies lurking. Kelly stabs on in the head, and Connie stomps on another’s head. Luke wields a baseball bat. Magna looks through what’s left of her stuff. Siddiq finds a recorder, and says it was the first instrument he learned to play. His aunt gave him one. He had it a week, until his mom decided, for her own sanity, that he liked painting better. I totally understand this. When I was in fourth grade, everyone had to learn to play the recorder, and you could hear the sounds of practicing throughout the neighborhood. It’s a wonder our parents didn’t lose their minds. Michonne says, for her sanity, and takes it from him. Connie signs that Luke is obsessed with saving musical instruments.

Michonne tells DJ to take any weapons. Magna thinks they should get them back, but Michonne says she’s not letting her men take five armed people into Hilltop. If they want their weapons, they can take them, but they’re on their own. If they want a chance at something better, stay with them. Magna wonders how they’re supposed to trust her, when she’s doesn’t trust them. Michonne says then they can take their chances. Yumiko says they didn’t get brought back together just to be killed. She asks if they’ll be there by morning, and Michonne says they will. Yumiko says they have a real chance for a safe place. The sun is going down soon, and Michonne suggests they find shelter.

Aaron is riding out of the woods, and gets knocked off his horse by Jesus. Aaron says, rule number one – be aware of your surroundings. Jesus says, rule number one – look up. They spar Jesus says, not bad, and gets the best of Aaron. Aaron whacks Jesus in the face, and Jesus acts like he’s really hurt. When Aaron asks if he’s okay, Jesus gets the better of him again. When they’re done, Aaron says he heard it was election day. Jesus says that’s why he’s late. There was a party, and it’s hard to get away as it is. Aaron doesn’t suppose Maggie changed her mind about the fair. It’s important for the Kingdom; for all of them to come back together. They see a flare go up in the distance.

The find Rosita, bloody, and leaning against a tree. Aaron asks where Eugene is, and she says she left him. He was going to a barn. Zombies come toward them. Jesus says they have to go; it will be dark soon. Whatever barn Eugene is in, Jesus hopes he’s safe until tomorrow,

Daryl cooks up the snake. Carol is impressed. Henry wonders if the real reason they came here was that Carol wants Daryl to be his chaperone. This guy? He can handle himself. Daryl says it will be ready in thirty minutes, and Carol says, just enough time. Daryl says, for what?

Carol gives Daryl a haircut. He knows she thinks He’s still looking for him. Carol says, is he? She thinks he should let it go, and that his hair looks better. They eat. Henry asks how Daryl got his scars. Daryl calls the dog, who he just calls dog.

Michonne is on watch, and hears something. She goes inside a stable. She walks quietly past the horses, where there’s a dude at a workbench with his back to her. She comes up behind him, and says, drop it; turn around slow. It’s Luke. He says, he can’t. He starts to turn, and she whacks at him. Everyone comes running. Luke shows them his broken violin. I think Michonne might be just a little paranoid.

Henry wakes up, and leaves the tent. He thinks he sees Daryl from behind, and shines a light. It’s a zombie instead, but Daryl arrives in time to knife it in the head. He keeps walking. He hears Dog barking, and runs in that direction. Dog is tethered to a tree and several zombies are stuck in Daryl’s traps around him. Why are they doing this to me? Introducing another animal which will no doubt eventually get eaten. I’ve gotten to the point where, if a dog is introduced in a horror story I’m reading, I stop reading. Dog is surrounded, barking his head off, with the zombies reaching for him. Daryl approaches. A half-zombie grabs at him. He goes down, and loses his knife. Henry wants to help, but Daryl tells him, get back. Daryl manages to get his other knife out, and stabs, spears, and pikes the heads of the zombies. Henry is astounded. A zombie whose ankle is held in a trap, pulls itself free, leaving its foot behind. Henry jumps forward, and impales it. Daryl finishes the job. He says he told Henry to stay back, and Henry says, you’re welcome. Up on the hill, Carol has her bow drawn. She steps back so they don’t see her.

Jesus asks Enid how Rosita is. Enid says she’s okay, just dehydrated. He says it’s weird, seeing her after all this time. She says for her too. She asks Jesus what they were doing out there, and Jesus says, training. He’s been talking to Aaron, keeping the lines of communication open. Enid says, and avoiding being there. He wants to try to get Alexandria on board with the fair. She doesn’t think they’ll go along with it. Jesus says, it’s important, and Enid says people are noticing that he’s gone, that’s important too. She knows he thinks he’s just keeping a promise to Maggie, but he took the job. Stop pretending. She’s not there; he is. Maggie is counting on him. They’re counting on him. She’s counting on him. He needs to stay there, and keep the place together.

Daryl gets dressed, and Henry looks at the scars on his back. He tosses Henry some salve, saying it’s good for infection. Daryl thanks Henry for the help, and Henry thanks Daryl for saving him. He asks Daryl not to tell his mom. Daryl tosses a stick for Dog to fetch. He says that he’s seeing more and more zombies. Henry tells him that Carol says he’s her best friend; that she had his back no matter what. She misses him. She worries about him. Can he see that? Daryl asks if that’s what Henry wants. Daryl looking over his shoulder all the time. Henry says it’s not just about him.

Luke says, unbelievable. Michonne starts talk, but he’s like, uh-uh-uh. He says it’s an original Stradivarius. Kelly says he found it in a mansion before it was overrun. It was in a kids room. Michonne asks why he collects instruments, and Luke says, it’s art. For a long time, historians and archaeologists wondered how humans survived against the Neanderthals. With them being bigger and stronger, with better weapons, why are we still here? Why did we survive? He tells her about a flute found in a cave, and how it was realized that maybe ancient humans didn’t defeat the Neanderthals the way we look at defeat. They sat around the campfire, sharing stores, and told stories in music and painting. They created communities and identities. The communities they built grew, and the Neanderthals retreated, and died out. It’s what separates humans from animals. It brings people together in building something, and you can’t ignore that. Michonne says after all he’s seen and done, he still believes that’s all it could take? Luke says, survival of the fittest. Sharing art with each other makes them stronger. Michonne ponders this.

Michonne tells Siddiq that they’ll reach Alexandria before Hilltop, and can stop for supplies if they need them. Siddiq says she should come. It’s the least she can do after murdering Luke’s violin. Michonne thinks it’s for the best, but Siddiq tells her, don’t worry about Maggie. She doesn’t know what to do if they see each other, but Siddiq says, she’s gone. Jesus runs Hilltop now. Michonne asks where she is, and DJ runs in saying, walkers; let’s move. They run out, Michonne in the lead. Yumiko says they need their weapons. Magna uses a brick to smash a zombie in the head. Zombies start pouring in. Michonne tells DJ to get the new people their weapons. Kelly gets a slingshot thing going. The horses start getting agitated, and Michonne says, sh*t. Yumiko tells the others they know what to do. Connie and Kelly work their slingshots. Luke opens the doors of the cars in the lot, so the zombies are blocked. Yumiko uses an arrow to knock an awning down, crushing several zombies. Magna saves Yumiko’s ass when a stray zombie sneaks up on her. A zombie toddles toward them, wearing a paisley shirt. Magna is sadly transfixed, and the others stare, open-mouthed. As Bernie gets close to Magna, Michonne knifes him from behind. Siddiq says, let’s go, and urges Magna to move. They all look at Bernie’s body as they go past.

Daryl tells Carol, ready in ten minutes. Hey, she’s using one of my coffee cups. It’s metal, blue with flecks of white, for camping.

The group headed for Hilltop travels on. Everyone is bummed. Michonne says she knows what it’s like to worry about a friend, and feel guilty. Yumiko says they’ll feel better when they have home, and are safe. Michonne says they will. This is as far as she’s going. Siddiq apologizes for not telling her about Maggie sooner. She asks, where is she? and Siddiq says, someplace far away; a new community. That’s all he knows. He understands she wanted the information sooner, but he promised someone he wouldn’t. This means Michonne can come. She should. Michonne says she’s needed back home. She kept her promise to Judith. Siddiq says what about her promise to him? She says, it’s not that simple. They hear horses approaching.

Two men ride up to them. They’re carrying spears, and Michonne asks if they’re From Hilltop. They are, and Michonne says her group is from Alexandria. They’re headed there now. One of the men says they have a message. Hilltop has one of their own – Rosita. She’s been injured. Michonne tells them to let them know that Michonne and the others are headed to Hilltop. The men ride off. Michonne giddyaps. Luke tells them, hold up, and they stop. Connie sees something. They wait, as she looks around, but then she signals, it’s nothing.

Daryl rides into Hilltop. Henry wonders if Enid will recognize him; he’s bigger. Jesus says it’s a pleasant surprise. He asks what brings them there, and Carol says Henry has a stubborn interest in blacksmithing. Jesus says they can help with that.

Aaron tells Daryl that they found Rosita pretty banged up, and Eugene is missing. They’re headed out to find him now, and could use a good tracker. Daryl says he’s going. Henry wants to go too, but Carol says they need to get him settled in. Jesus says he knows where to start looking. Jesus tells Enid that he should go. She says she’ll stay, but next time, he does. Dog leads the way, Daryl follows, and the search party heads out.

Next time, Aaron says he’s never seen zombies do this before, Rosita wants to leave, Jesus kicks zombie ass, and Eugene says, it’s not a normal herd; they’re whispering to each other.

🔊 I don’t know what that fair business is about, but on Talking Dead tonight, Dan Fogler (Luke) said there was something musical coming up. That made me wonder if there’s a connection. Also, Michael Cudlitz (the late Abe) had his directorial debut with tonight’s TWD episode.

🐎 Return to Amish returned to the small screen tonight, but I have to catch it on the flipside. I can’t wait to see what Mary Schmucker, the grandmother of my dreams, and the gang are up to. Some new members have also been added to the cast.

✈ My Dinner with Hervé is on HBO rotation, and Peter Dinklage is so good, he’ll make you cry. About the tragic life (and death) of Hervé Jean-Pierre Villechaize, it goes far beyond dinner. The performances are brilliant, and the story of a frustrated artist shows incredible insight into a too-brief life.

🍹 It’ll Be All Right...

Sure, Mondays are just fine if you live in Margaritaville.


June 4, 2017 – Return to Fear & Good-by to Amish


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



Fear the Walking Dead

It’s ba-a-a-ack! Now if I can just remember everyone’s names.

Travis and company have been captured. They’re dragged past fields of rotting corpses, and are thrown into trucks. It’s some kind of military operation, or at least looks like one. They’re driven to a camp and are separated. Travis hears screams, and sees a guy getting a number written on his forehead. Travis is weighed and measured, and a number is written on his hand. He’s left in a supply room where there are a bunch of other people.

Travis sees Nick. Luci’s head rests on his shoulder. I’d better clarify that – her body is attached to it.

Travis sits next to Nick and tells him that his mother has been taken somewhere else. He asks about Chris, but Travis says nothing. Luci asks if he saw anyone at the border, but he says just the dead. Nick says he thought it was a refugee camp. Travis says they’ll get out of there – all of them.

Alicia and Madison look around the office they’ve been deposited in, but can’t find anything. A soldier brings some tea and introduces himself as Troy. He says they shouldn’t have been handled so roughly, but it was security protocol. He says that Travis is being processed. Madison tells him they’re looking for her son, Nick, and need his help. He wants to know why they came from Mexico, and Madison says a friend had a place there, and asks him to let them go. She says her son is out there alone, and if it was him, his mother would do anything to find him. Troy says his mother passed, and he doesn’t get lost much anyway.

Alicia asks what happens after they’re processed. Troy says they get supplies and off they go. Really? He leaves them.

Troy confers with some other soldiers. They look at forehead number guy’s eyes. He’s dead, but his foot begins to move. He’s chained to the wall and they right down some statistics. Troy goes to Travis and asks if he’s Mexican. He says no; he’s Māori, and Troy calls him a warrior. Nick asks where his mom and sister are, and Troy says they’re being processed. He says he’s not a savage, and tells them they give all the mercy they can offer to the sick and maimed.

Alicia waters a plant with the tea, and says they’re going to be killed. Madison says no, they’re being treated too well. Alicia gives her the tip of a bayonet she has stashed in her shoe. She tells Alicia she’ll get them out.

Another prisoner tells Travis that he can get them out, but he needs someone strong enough to back him. If Travis can get them out of the room, he can get them out of the compound. He sees a guy struggling with a soldier, saying please don’t, but the soldier shoots him.

Commercial break. They tell us that Fear the Walking Dead is brought to us by The Mummy, which I find amusing.

Chained zombie guy starts writhing against the chains. Travis asks the other prisoner how he’s getting them out of there, and I swear that he says something about cheese. He explains his plan, but he mumbles, and I have no clue what he told Travis. He says someone shot him, and they have zero options and time. Travis agrees to help. He watches the soldiers get testy with one another. One says they’re supposed to be out of there in 24-hours, and to hurry it up – it doesn’t matter how they get dead. He pulls a couple of guys out and shoots them.

Alicia and Madison nap. Troy makes notes. Madison wakes up, and he tells her the coffee is warm. This dude is way too smiley. She asks what he’s writing, and he tells her that he makes observations. She asks if they passed processing, and he says with flying colors. She asks about Travis and he says it’s different criteria. Troy says he’s not a bad person, and Madison tells him that no one said he wasn’t. She asks if Travis is dead, and says she loves him. Troy asks if she loves his life more than hers, and she says yes.

Notes are taken about the dead guys. Travis asks what’s up. A soldier says the infected have senses, and they’re doing this for everyone’s betterment. Travis says what they’re doing is pointless, and asks if the people understand what’s going on. The soldier says they’ve volunteered, and it’s for science. He asks if Travis hasn’t murdered anyone. He’s about to pull out another prisoner, when Travis says to take him instead. The soldier says that’s a first. I thought he just said they volunteered. While Travis is being chained, he whacks the guy, and everything goes nuts.

Madison asks what Troy wants. Troy says he can take them home. She asks about Travis, and he says the resources are limited. She asks if Travis is alive. Troy says if she comes, he will be. They hear a gunshot, and Troy runs out. The prisoners are escaping, and everyone is running. Travis faces the soldiers while Nick runs with Luci. They manage to get into a sewer pipe. Over by Travis, the prisoner who said he could get them out gets his throat cut.

Travis is brought back in. Gee, that went well. Troy asks what happened. A soldier says two of his got away, and one of theirs died. Troy says a tender moment between him and Madison was interrupted. He wants Travis kept safe. He says Travis is special, and treat him as such. Take him out back. “Out back” is never special, or even a good thing.

Nick has to stop. Luci says she’s slowing him down, and he says never, kissing her. He tells her that she has to live.

Troy goes back to the office, and Madison jumps out from behind the door. They struggle. Alicia comes out from behind the couch. Madison stabs Troy in the eye with a spoon. She tells him he’ll lose the eye if he moves. That’s actually an amazing move. Was she with the Navy SEALS or something before the apocalypse? She tells Alicia to go find out what’s happening.

Alicia goes outside. Travis and Luci continue on. Planes fly overhead. Nick gets to the end of the tunnel. It’s blocked, but he gets it open – and confronts a horde of zombies. He and Lucy run back.

A soldier explains the experiments to Travis. Some kind of nonsense with statistical differences between the dead and the undead. Travis is led to a pit where there are zombies milling around. They throw him in. The only thing worse than a zombie is a bored zombie.

Madison takes Troy outside. She’s got him in a hold with one arm, and with the other, is still gripping the spoon in his eye. He tells her that she’s going to be dead, but yells to the others to back off. In the pit, Travis cracks a few zombies in the head. For a pacifist, he’s pretty good at this. In the meantime, Alicia tries to break into a car. Travis pikes some zombies with a metal rod he’s found. When he loses that, he punches them out. A cinderblock also comes in handy. The head soldier says he’s impressed, but Travis should save his strength – he’ll need it. He unleashes more zombies.

Madison says she thought Troy was going to let him go. Troy’s brother, Jake, approaches, telling Madison to release Troy. He says Troy knows he brought this on himself. Madison says she wants her family. Jake says if she lets Troy go, he’ll find her family. She releases Troy, and whacks him when he tries to grab her. Jake asks where her family is.

Nick and Luci hide, but we can hear the zombies close by. Alicia hears Nick, and looks through a vent to see him struggling with a zombie. She throws a weapon down, and Luci kills the zombie. Alicia is taken away by two guys, and Nick sees Madison with some soldiers, who tell the others to let Travis out. Travis rushes Troy, but Madison says he’s safe now. Alicia and Chris show up. Everything is cool for five seconds.

Commercial break. Valerian looks awesome!

Jake says he wishes Travis would reconsider; it’s a sanctuary. Troy was doing experiments on his own, and Jake says it won’t happen again. Madison says they want their guns back. She thanks Travis. She cleans his face with a washcloth, and says she’s sorry. She’s here and his family is here. He says he’s okay now; he’s with her.

Troy’s brother tells him get in, get the fuel, get out. He says Troy has killed innocent people, and Troy says they were going to die anyway. Jake smacks him, and asks, who is he to decide that? He asks what Troy has learned. That would be nothing. Troy leaves. As he’s walking out, he looks proudly at the blood stains on the “lab” wall.

A soldier walks through a corridor and hears a noise from behind the wall. He puts his ear to the wall and listens. He looks through the vent, but can’t see, so he removes it. About a thousand rats drop out. Then a zombie pulls him toward the vent opening. Suddenly, he gets sucked through it like it was a hole in a flying airplane.

Jake begs Madison to stay. She asks him for the car keys. They hear gunshots, and see zombies walking out of one of the buildings. Madison runs to get Travis, saying they have to go now. Suddenly, there are zombies everywhere. Madison is surrounded. Nick runs to help her while she’s slicing and dicing. Jake lands a helicopter, and they pile in, but Madison and Nick are still fighting the zombies. Troy shoots at the zombies, and Madison and Nick run to his truck. The helicopter takes off. A few zombies hang from it. Madison and Tavis look at each other. I’m driving myself crazy, because since the beginning of this show, I’ve wanted to call Nick “Chris,” and I keep typing it.

Everyone clears out from the compound. A caravan of trucks hits the road. The helicopter flies off.

Part Two

In the helicopter, Luci asks for Nick, and Alicia says she’ll see him soon. Bullets start coming through the helicopter windows. Travis is shot in the neck. It’s hard to put pressure on a wound when you’re passing out. The helicopter starts to go down. Travis opens the door. Jake tells him to stay in his seat. They start to nosedive. Alicia holds Travis in, but sees how badly he’s hurt, and lets him fall. Then she calls after him like we didn’t see what we just saw. Well, my mouth is hanging open.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, people are swarming at the gate. They say they know there’s a doctor in there. Elena says she’s sorry; they have nothing for them. One of them grabs her by the hair, and holds her head to against the gate. Victor approaches, and says he can provide medical care; he’s a doctor. Elena is let go, and the people look hopeful. Victor says he’s injured, but can’t let them suffer. He tells Elena to let them have her empty rooms to heal and recover.

Jake tells Alicia that Luci is as stable as she’s going to get, and whoever shot them might still be out there. He tells her for what it’s worth, she did the right thing. She wonders if Travis survived (oh come on), but Jake says he’s gone. He says knows the mountains and can get them home. He tells her that Travis would want that, but Alicia snaps that he doesn’t know what Travis would want.

Troy listens to Insane Clown Posse or Rammstein or something. Madison looks like she has a headache, and he turns it off. The caravan approaches what was once a ranch. The guard says Jake hasn’t been there and is overdue. Troy tells the others to get out of the truck and wait. A guard closes the gate. Gee, thanks for the ride to we-don’t-know- where.

Nick says tat they should backtrack and find the others. Madison says they could end up running in circles, or they could get themselves killed. Nick asks what the plan is if it’s just the two of them. Madison tells Nick to hug his mother, and he feels the gun in her waistband. She says they need to bring their family together and stop anyone who gets in their way.

Victor pulls a bullet out of somebody’s leg. Victor ponders. He’s asked to come, a woman’s water just broke. He thinks they should just let nature take its course, and says he’s not a baby doctor. The husband gets angry and asks why he’s been allowed to treat them. Victor agrees the deliver the baby, and tells everyone to get out, except Nurse Elena.

Madison says most of the people there are civilians. Nick says they don’t need them, but Madison says his girlfriend does. He says fine, but then they go. He isn’t sure what he’ll do if he has to stay longer. A rancher gives Madison a cup of coffee. He says he heard her husband over the helicopter radio, and tells her that sometimes a helicopter sets down in bad weather. He asks if she knows of any reason Travis might have taken the helicopter, but she says he’d want their daughter to get there safely. The rancher says he had to ask. His son and goddaughter are on there too. Madison says she put a spoon in his other son’s eye, making me laugh, and the rancher says that he’s lucky it wasn’t a fork, making me laugh again. He introduces himself as Joseph, and welcomes them to the ranch, opening the gate. Nick tells Madison it’s not safe. He says he doesn’t trust these people, but she tells him to trust her.

Joseph says they were already there, off the grid, before the world ended, and the rise of the dead caught them by surprise. He says they’re self-sustaining, and Madison points out that they’re also armed. He says he heard Troy’s side of it, and Nick asks if he wants to hear theirs. Joseph says he’ll hear everything when Jake gets back. He tells them it’s the safest place to be, and most people would be grateful to be there. He shows them to a bunkhouse, and tells them where the facilities are. Madison thanks him.

After he leaves, Nick loudly says his son’s a murderer, and Madison tells him to lower his voice. She asks if he wants to start a war with all of them – then he’ll see murder. Nick says it’s his fault, leading them to that place, and he has to do something. Madison says no, he doesn’t. Right now, they’re going to eat sh*t, smile, and bide their time. She wants to save them all too, but he has to help. Nick says he’s not sitting by while they sharpen their knives, and walks out.

Jake builds a fire, and says he’ll take first watch. Alicia asks what will happen with Luci when they get back, and expresses concern about Troy. Jake says they’ll keep an eye on him. He explains how Troy had been like this since he was young, and says you make allowances for those you love. Alicia says she made allowances for her brother, and it almost got him killed. They hear something, and Jake stomps out the fire.

Jake gives Alicia a gun. He tells her to stay put until he gets back. If he doesn’t, get the others to the ranch. He walks out into the dark. He looks around, and then stumbles down a small cliff. He quickly finds his gun, and hears the sounds of zombies eating. He shines the flashlight into a zombie face. It comes after him, and he whacks at it with the flashlight, trying to deal with his gun. It’s about an inch from his neck, when a shot rings out and it drops. Another one takes its place, and we see Alicia at the top of the cliff. She shoots that one too. Jake is pretty freaked. He asks for the gun, and tells Alicia to find her way back quickly. He has to take care of it before more come.

Alicia goes back, and Jake sees that the zombies were eating his co-pilot. Alicia hears a gunshot.

The baby is being named after Victor. Elena says he calmed the people, but his lie is now theirs. If the people turn on him, they’ll turn on them too. She says he has to go. On foot. Before he leaves, Hector says there’s a woman who has lost her senses, a poor woman who refuses food. He gives Victor a plate, and tells him to convince her to eat. He goes into the room and says he brought food. It looks like Marie Antoinette moonlighting as a stripper lives here. Loads of dishes with dainty sweets on them, and boxes of frilly accessories. Victor sees a mannequin, and is about to touch it, when a woman pops out of nowhere. He recognizes Ilene, and says he was sent there to treat her. She apologizes for stabbing him, and says she was distraught and hopeless. He tells her to get some fresh air in the room, and tries to open the balcony door, but it’s stuck. He says he can’t stay there, but has nowhere to go, and no way to get him there.

Victor finally gets the door open, and Ilene thanks him. He tells her about the woman in labor, and how he delivered a baby. He says it was terrifying. If the child lives, it’s a new generation and might give them a reason to hope. Ilene asks where he’d go if he left, and he says he has a place in mind. She takes something out of a pocket, and gives it to him. She says it was supposed to be a wedding gift, but it’s the least she can do for what she did. He opens what looks like a jewelry case, and thanks her. She thanks him for freeing her little girl.

Ilene tells Victor that there are no more generations, and jumps off the balcony.

Jake polishes his gun. Alicia tells him that she’s sorry. Luci is unconscious, and Alicia can’t get her to wake up. Jake says they’ll be at the ranch in a few hours. He tells her that it’s a terrible world. Did he just figure this out?

The guard at the ranch sees Jake coming, and the gate is opened. Madison hugs Alicia while Luci is being tended to. She wonders where Travis is, but Alicia doesn’t say anything. Madison sees her face, and says, no. Nick runs to Lucy and creepy Troy walks around smiling. He says Luci isn’t going to make it, so she doesn’t go to the infirmary. Nick says that it’s Troy’s fault, and Troy says he’d do it again. Troy says she’ll turn, and is about to shoot her. Nick tells Troy that he’ll do it, but Troy says no. For whatever reason, he relents, and gives Nick the gun. Chris points the gun at Troy, and the others draw their guns. Nick tells them to let her in, and Troy says that’s not how they do things. Madison tells Nick to stop, and he says not this time. Joseph steps between Nick and Troy, and asks for the gun. Nick says he can’t let Luci die. Joseph says if she has a pulse, they’ll let her in, but he has to give him the gun. Madison says to give it to him, and Nick hands the gun over. Joseph tells them to take Luci to the infirmary, and the show’s over. Madison tells Alicia to get herself checked out. She stands alone for a moment, fighting back tears, before walking back in. The gate closes.

Madison cries under a tree. Joseph finds her. She tells him she’s not well. He says after his first wife left, he drank a lot of JD and Coke, and had many a bad morning. She asks why he’s there. He tells her that after someone has this kind of loss, sometimes they take matters into their own hands, and these days, it presents another set of problems. Part of his job is to make sure she’s not a danger to herself or anyone else. She says it’s too soon to tell. Joseph says it looks like they’re missing a Beretta from the fuel truck, and asks if she borrowed it. If she did, she has to sign it out like a library book. She signs the ledger. He tells her he’s sorry for her loss. Madison says he was a good man, and Joseph says he believes it, being with a woman like her. I like Joseph.

Nick watches Luci. Alicia comes in, and he thanks her for getting Luci back. He asks if she’s okay, and hugs her. She cries.

Victor unlocks a car in the parking garage. He takes the cover off, saying it’s his style and color. I call it fancy black car, because I know diddly about cars.

Alicia and Nick find Madison, who insists she’s okay. She says Nick asked if she has a plan, and she does. They’re going to stay there, and make it their home, even if they have to take it over. She says it’s their fate. They suffered to get there, and Travis died; they have to accept it. She wants to know how it happened, and asks Alicia to tell her everything about how Travis died. We see the family in a tableau.

This season, there will be lots of zombies, but Nick says the monster there is worse than the one outside.

🐎 Sadly, it was the Return to Amish finale tonight. I’ve been having the best time watching it; I hate to see it go. To end the season, the group took a trip to Las Vegas. Supposedly as a honeymoon for Jeremiah and Carmella, who haven’t had a night without her children since they began their relationship, which sounds like as good an excuse as any. Having broken her ankle slipping on some ice a few days before, Mary didn’t let it interfere with her fun, and got around on a scooter. She had her picture taken with a couple of Chippendales dancers, did some gambling, and got her drink on. Jeremiah and Carmella renewed their vows, dressed as a cowboy and Native American princess, while Elvis officiated. Everyone had a day at the salon beforehand, where, true to filterless form, Sabrina suggested that in lieu of a Brazilian wax, Mary start a trend called the “buggy trail,” causing fits of hysterical laughter. The best part was seeing Rebecca and Sabrina make up, and at least for the moment, everyone being a family again. It also did Mary’s heart a world of good. Sadly, there was no happy ending for much of the cast, according to the end blurbs. Jeremiah and Carmella have separated, Chester is on the verge of being shunned because Mary is having too much fun, and although they didn’t say it in these words, it sounded like Sabrina may have relapsed, but still fighting the good fight about her children. I hope they come back for another season or retitled show to figure it out. Abe tells us that at the end of the day, they’re family, which is one of the things that makes this show attractive. Even though they’re not all related by blood, the dynamics are very much like a family, and everyone wants to be heard. After Sabrina and Rebecca finally talk like grown women, Rebecca is surprised to find they’re both on the same page, just wanting their feelings to be validated – or as Sabrina puts it, treat each other “human.” While there might be contrived moments, these people impress me as very real. It’s been a delight to get a glimpse into their corner of the world, which is really not all that different.



May 29, 2017 – No GH, a Door Opens for Kathryn, Classless Potomac, a Little Amish & Some Turquoise


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



No General Hospital today. They reran the “Good-by to Tracy” episode. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as the first time, but still enjoyable, and you can’t beat the ending with Luke waiting for her in a Turkish coffee shop. I do wonder if he’s the person who ultimately bought the painting though. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the answer to that question either.

Southern Charm

Kathryn practices her yoga. Landon calls Thomas to go out to dinner. Craig gets an email saying he passed…something. Cameran and Chelsea are going to Home Goods. Cameran wants a woman cave; her husband suggests a nursery. She tells him about the psychic saying she’ll have three children. He thinks they best get going on that.

Craig puts a copy of the “you passed” email on the fridge. He calls his parents. I find out the cat’s name is Gizmo, and wonder if he has an Instagram account. Craig has satisfied his upper-level writing requirement, which means he has a law degree now. He gives Gizmo some treats to celebrate.

Cameran tells Chelsea that she’s totally redoing the room, and needs help. I immediately covet the grey chaise lounge Cameran parks herself on. She tells Chelsea about the topic of Kathryn coming up at Patricia’s party, but doesn’t exactly present it the way it went. She says whenever they talk about Kathryn, the mood changes. She doesn’t want to get involved and says it’s getting old. What Cameran leaves out is that she’s the one who changed the mood. Whitney merely wondered If Kathryn’s amends-making call was legit, and Cameran got all bent out of shape with Landon backing her up as the Greek-freaking-chorus. Chelsea says she actually met Kathryn at the salon, and – after her initial fear wore off because of what she’d been told – she thought Kathryn was nice. Cameran says she can be lovely, but also an absolute horror. She admits people can change though, so who knows? Maybe she’ll be calling Kathryn some day for mother advice.

Naomie meets Craig for dinner. He tells her about graduating law school, and wanted to tell her in person. She says it’s probably a bigger weight off of her chest than his. Craig asks for credit in improving. Naomie says if there hadn’t been any improvement, they wouldn’t still be together. She acts like an idiot, and then asks if he’s taking the bar. Because God forbid he should be happy for a minute with his recent victory. He says his application is in, but she doesn’t like that answer. She wants him to say the words “I’m taking the bar.”

Shep calls Cameran. He apologizes for getting heated after the party. He just wants everyone to be friends. He’s arranging a lunch, including Kathryn, and would like Cameran to come. She says she doesn’t want any drama. Shep brings up the fact that Thomas is the one who owes her an apology. He says Thomas acts out just as badly (truth!), but he always gets a pass. She says she is curious to see if a change has taken place, so she agrees to come. He tells her to bring safety gear. In his interview, Shep says he’s not on anyone’s side; he’s like Switzerland. He calls Kathryn to warn her that Cameran will be at lunch. We flash back to the reunion, where it didn’t go too well with the two of them.

Thomas tells the nanny that he has a date.

Landon’s sister Bam (wtf? is she a Flintstone?) calls, and Landon tells her about inviting Thomas to dinner. In her interview, she says she’d probably have a ring and all the horses she wanted if she gave the okay. Even though she’s most likely right, that’s incredibly narcissistic.

Thomas and Landon meet at the restaurant. Thomas thinks he’s cool because he ordered the most expensive bottle of wine. They discuss the kids. He talks about Landon’s necklace, and tells her that turquoise is from Turkey. She thinks he’s amazing, but I looked this up, and what he is, is wrong. (See link below.) Landon says that Patricia told her that she should consider Thomas as a suitor. Her turn of phrase reminds me of the first place I lived in NYC. It was a women’s residence – kind of like a dorm – and the ladies who ran it said things like “gentlemen caller” and “beau parlor.” It was like being in a Tennessee Williams play. Landon tells Thomas that it would be good if he was twenty years younger and had no baggage. I choke on my coffee. She says she wishes she wasn’t so concerned about what people think. In his interview, Thomas tells us if he thought that way, he’d never leave the house. He tells a bad joke, and Landon acts like it’s the funniest thing ever. Some drunk lady at the next table tells them that she feels that they’re soulmates. Omg, she’s sloshed, and tells Thomas that he should make out with Landon. Please, not at the table. Please.

Craig and Kathryn are the first to arrive for Shep’s lunch, and they get a table outside. Craig asks when was the last time Kathryn and Cameran talked? Kathryn doesn’t really remember, but she’s glad Cameran agreed to come, since it might be awkward if they run into each other. In her interview, Cameran says she’s anxious and nervous because Kathryn can be unpredictable. Shep says Cameran doesn’t have a leg to stand on, since she and Kathryn have never even had an altercation. Whitney is a different story – we flash back to that. Shep is of the mind that even if there are problems, you smile and say, “good to see you.” We flash back to more Whitney nonsense.

Cameran and Whitney drive to the lunch together. Cameran says it’s an opportunity for Kathryn to prove them wrong, and make the two of them look like a-holes. That shouldn’t be too hard. When they arrive, she hopes Kathryn doesn’t think it’s an ambush. Hugs and air kisses all around. Then silence. Cameran says this is the first time they’ve all been together in a while, and that they support Kathryn, and want her to feel supported, even . Where this is coming from, I have no idea. Kathryn says she appreciates it, and it’s important right now. Whitney says it’s water under the bridge. In her interview, Kathryn says Whitney knew her when, and supported Thomas in her downfall. She thinks he might be feeling guilty.

Cameran asks if she’s finished romantically with Thomas. Kathryn says they haven’t even spoken in a year, and tells them about the letter she wrote to him, saying she’d like to co-parent. She talks about how much better she feels. Cameran says Whitney is in love, and she says with what? – ha-ha! – and he tells her about the new girl in his life. Craig announces that he’s graduated law school. Everyone steers clear of the bar question, but not really, since they say they’re going to steer clear of it.

Austen and Craig go golfing. They decide to make it interesting at twenty bucks a hole. Craig asks about Chelsea. He tells Austen that Naomie says she’s a good old boy in a beautiful woman’s body. In his interview, Austen says Chelsea has been engaged twice, and is skeptical of relationships.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon for a haircut. They talk about the quail hunt. Chelsea says she never went quail hunting before, and loved every second. They talk about dating, and Shep says she must have guys chasing her. She says nobody is chasing her, and Shep asks if she chewed Austen up and spat him out. She says they just have fun together.

Austen tells Craig about Shep saying he broke bro code by dating Chelsea. Craig says there’s nothing there except Shep wanting to conquer. Austen says if Shep makes a move, he’ll know what the score is, and that Shep is no real friend. He doesn’t think Chelsea would go out with him though. Craig tells him about Shep hitting on Naomie. He says the easy answer is that he thinks he’s better than everyone else, but the deeper thought is that he’s insecure and afraid of actually finding his own woman.

Shep asks Chelsea to go for a glass of wine, but she says she’s on the clock. He tells her to clock out.

Nanny Deidre tells Thomas he needs to get serious bout Saint’s birthday party. They discuss the guest list. In his interview, Thomas wishes he had a partner to plan it with, and laments that Saint doesn’t have a mother involved. Well, isn’t that Thomas’s choice? He calls his father, and tells him about the party. His father tells him that he has a dental appointment the same day, and if they pull the tooth, he “ain’t comin’.” Thomas doesn’t seem real happy about that.

Whitney drops by. The nanny takes the children away. Thomas tells Whitney about the party. Whitney asks if he’s inviting Kathryn, and he says he’s giving it some thought. Whitney tells him about the lunch with her, and says she seems to be doing well. Thomas brings up the letter, and Whitney thinks it’s a step forward. He says she seems to want to move on, and perhaps deserves a second chance.

Landon meets Drew for dinner. She gripes about her website. They can’t call it Roam anymore, since it’s a conflict with other websites, and they might get sued. In her interview, Landon says it’s her fault for not doing her homework, but I knew that already. She says that she’s learning so much every day. Like how to tie her shoes and the ABCs. Drew says he was born in 1989, and Landon says she’s old and her eggs are drying up. This woman has no filter. In her interview, she says there’s a void in her life. She tells Drew she wants family life soon. She likes and respects him, and doesn’t want to mislead him. He says he’s not ready for that yet, and she asks if they can still do stuff. She gets all teary, and says that all she wants is someone to walk her dog with her. Good luck with that if you’re going to get all weepy over it. There must be a Facebook group or something for that. I have to admit getting the feels over her talking about her 12-year-old dog.

Kathryn meets Elizabeth (bleh because she’s married to JD) at a coffee/dessert place. They talk about Saint’s birthday, and Elizabeth says they should get a cake. She asks about Thomas, and Kathryn says she wrote to him, but hasn’t heard back. Elizabeth says she has a reply letter for Kathryn, which makes me wonder why she asked, and why she didn’t tell Kathryn that right away. Weird. It’s a pleasant letter, saying blah-blah-blah how he’d like to be friends and wishes her the best. He invites her to the birthday party. She thinks maybe it’s a new beginning, and she’s going in with no expectations. Elizabeth says she hasn’t seen this Kathryn in a while.

Next time, Saint’s first birthday party, Shep tells Chelsea that she’s like a unicorn, and Shep is a no-show to meet Cameran at a property.

A Coupla Things

🍹 I took a look at The Real Housewives of Potomac late last night, and once again was shocked at how unsophisticated this group is. Ashley opened (or got her husband to fund) an Australian themed restaurant – Oz. The menu includes items like kangaroo and emu. Once again, the embarrassing behavior award goes to Gizelle and Robyn. Since this was a restaurant opening event, Ashley gave a little spiel at the beginning. Not only did Robyn have to explain to Gizelle what an emu is, they both made faces about it. While these aren’t things I would normally eat, I wouldn’t act like a five-year-old about it, especially if that’s the fare of the country. Emu was also a thing not all that long ago, being a lean protein. Obviously, these two are uninformed and immature. Karen needs to give them pseudo etiquette lessons. Oh, and I finally realized that Katie is gone from the cast when they had a flashback. Sadly, I hadn’t even noticed.

🍞 Again, not much was going on Sunday night, so I checked out Return to Amish. Rebecca took the test for her GED, but we don’t know if she passed yet. Math really seems to confuse her, but I would assume that the Amish don’t focus a lot on that, especially if you’re female. It’s sad enough that they only think a girl deserves an eighth-grade education, but it’s highly doubtful they encourage any education of females at all, other than cooking and sewing. I was put into advanced math when I was in sixth grade – whether I wanted to be there or not. Although it served me well later in life when I lied finessed my way into accounting jobs after reading Accounting 101. Rebecca also has severe anxiety problems, which explains her reaction, or lack thereof, to many things. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to accomplish this on her own. Even though she had a tutor, she had to be the one to get herself through the process. Jeremiah and Carmella were on the outs at the start of the episode, but had reconciled by the end. Carmella had taken her kids and gone back to Washington, saying that the situation was toxic, and Jeremiah was controlling. This struck me as odd, since they had just started IVF treatments, and Jeremiah was doing a load of work on their new house. Then Jeremiah mentioned Carmella’s hormone treatments, and I was like, ohhh. Her growing up in a cult doesn’t help anything either. We also got Abe’s story this week. While he sometimes seems kitty whipped by Rebecca, I kind of like how he always has her back. He also seems like a great father – we saw a lot of scenes with him and the kids. Of course Mary being his mother makes him a lucky guy, although it was dicey at first when he decided to leave the tribe. Mary told him that it would break her heart, since he’d be shunned, but it looks like they’ve gotten around that. Next time, it’s the season finale (sniff), and the gang heads to Las Vegas, where Mary is going to do what she jolly well pleases. Which I’m sure involves gambling and drinking.

Every man must live with the man he makes of himself. – Amish Proverb

Find Out About Turquoise Here:




May 21, 2017 – A Little Amish Talk & Some Random Bravo Thoughts


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



Since Once Upon a Time is over for now, we await new Walking Dead episodes, and where the blip is Game of Thrones, I thought I’d take a break from Bravo and it’s Housewives, and catch up on Return to Amish. Most weeks, I fall asleep watching it during the wee hours’ rerun encore performance.

🐎 Half new episode and half individual cast member’s story, one of tonight’s highlights was a trip to Lancaster made by Mary and a pregnant Sabrina. While they were enjoying a meal at a diner, Mary was approached by a local, asking Mary not to have Tupperware parties in her “territory.” We flash back to when she’d hassled Mary before, and Mary shut it down this time by telling her to get a life. Apparently, Tupperware is serious business in the Amish country. When back at home, a sly hater surreptitiously threatened to rat Mary out for having a car, Mary silenced her by giving her Tupperware. Mary is the best. So is Tupperware. The look on Jeremiah’s face when he found out that Sabrina was – SPOLIER AND GROSS OUT ALERT – eating her placenta, was worth the price of admission. I literally lol’d at his reaction. Baby Ariana is the cutest, arriving a month early, and so very tiny! Sabrina would like her to grow up Mennonite, and let parents have custody, but the state is already swooping in to take charge. This segued into Sabrina’s story. Being adopted, she grew up thinking that her mother didn’t want her, when the total opposite was true. It wasn’t evident who told her these things, but I’m assuming it wasn’t her adoptive parents, or she wouldn’t want them to raise Ariana. She eventually looked for her birth parents, and although her mother had passed away, she’d died surrounded by pictures of Sabrina. Her story was truly heart-wrenching, and it’s no surprise she would turn to drugs to soothe herself.  In one of his interviews, Abe talked about how the cast members were each other’s family, as they had decided to strike out on their own at the same time. It’s sad that he and Rebecca no longer want to talk to Sabrina, their Amish, grudge-holding roots taking hold. The whole thing is sad. On a happier front, while catching up on the gang’s trip to Florida, it was a lot of fun watching Mary kick back, do some shots, line dance, and take a twirl around the pole. I did miss Kate though. I’m thinking they should do a spin-off show about her life in NYC. She’s probably afraid the others would descend on her, and all want to stay at her place, like they did last season.

If Sabrina was appropriate, she wouldn’t be Sabrina. – Rebecca

My mother always told me if you kiss a boy, you’ll get pregnant. So that was effective birth control for a while. – Sabrina

Sarasota is like Las Vegas for the Amish people. – Jerimiah

🏛 Not much happened on the Potomac anyway. Karen had some emotions, and I noticed that Charisse talks through her nose. And once I noticed, I couldn’t stop noticing. Someone wagged their finger in Ashley’s face at her place of work. I think it was Gizelle, but I was spacing out already. I don’t know what to make of that Cabo show. It looks like The Real World for adults, “adults” meaning chronologically only. I’m not fond of the regular Real World program. I’m surprised it’s still on. Is it still on? Every once in a while, I’d forget why I stopped watching it, tune in, and then tune back out again, but I haven’t done that in a while. I’m guessing that Invite Only Cabo will most likely infuriate me, or make me laugh if one of them gets arrested in a foreign country.

🏖 Note: Watch What Happens Live is filming from LA this week. I’m not feeling the large, and appropriately noisy, live audience though. I think in NYC there are like, twelve people. There was a fun, surprise appearance by NeNe, but it looked like she usurped Iggy Izalea‘s place at the Shot Ski.

🎿 Not your momma’s or tonight’s Shot Ski…


May 7, 2017 – A Musical Fairy Tale Wedding, Mary, an Atlanta Mention & a Quote


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



Once Upon a Time – the Musical Episode

Young Emma sings into a tape recorder. Her sister makes fun of her. She says that Emma is just like everybody else – all alone.

Moving forward, Snow has found her old wedding gown, and asks Emma if she wants to wear it. Snow never thought they’d have a moment like this. Kelly Clarkson appears and…just kidding.

Back in the day, Snow says there’s no way they can stop the Evil Queen. Charming tells her that they will, and she needs some rest. On the balcony, she wishes for a happy ending, and a star glows brightly.

Bluebirds, well, really a parakeet, wake Snow. She’s surprised to find herself singing. Charming comes in, singing that someone has cast a spell or curse, because he can’t stop singing in verse. Snow sings that it’s because of her wish, and they’ll defeat the Evil Queen. They sing about love being the most powerful magic of all. This is pretty cool, and I’m already impressed with the sets and costumes. And the lyrics actually aren’t awful. Surprisingly, the cast can also sing. Although there is the magic that is autotune.

In Storybrooke, Snow brings her dress back from the cleaners, but it turns black when Emma holds it up. The Black Fairy pops in, poof! in a cloud of black smoke. She says she was never a fan of white weddings, and light and dark must have their reckonings. Unless Emma wants to give over her heart now. She says deep down, Emma is still the lonely little girl she always was, and the final battle is coming, whether they want it to or not.

The Black Fairy plans on separating the friends with a curse. When the clock strikes six – at the time Emma and Hook are to be married – it will be released. Regina says she ruined Snow’s wedding, the least she can do is help Emma have hers.

Way back when, the Evil Queen and her mirror sing a duet about the spell that’s been cast. The mirror tells her that her curse might not succeed. We see the Seven Dwarves, Pinocchio, and the others singing happily in every mirror the queen passes. It makes her go ballistic. The queen sings about love being a waste of time, how it can’t match her power, and doesn’t stand a chance. BTW, Lana Parrilla (Regina) has a great voice. I’d love to see her on Broadway. The Evil Queen breaks into everyone else’s happy scenes, dancing on the tables and kicking things over.

Right now, Hook looks at his white suit, and asks David if he thinks Emma would be disappointed if he doesn’t wear it. Emma comes in, and tells him about the Black Fairy’s curse. She says she has to fight the final battle alone. She tells him not to worry; she’ll be at the wedding on time. He says that’s not it; he knows she’s come to say good-by. She tells him she loves him, and jets.

Back in the day, Snow and Charming go to a tavern to find Hook. Charming wants him to take them to the Evil Queen. They’re prepared to pay handsomely. Hook sings about revenge, and how it’s worth more than anything else. When Snow asks revenge on who, he tells her to wait for the second verse. I’m liking these songs. Is the soundtrack available? Hook sings about how the crocodile ruined his life. He sings about the Dark One, and Charming says he’s in their dungeon. Snow tells him that if he can help them, he has himself a crocodile. Colin O’Donoghue (Hook) can definitely co-star in my Broadway show.

In the present, Hook goes to Gold’s shop. He says Gold betrayed all of them, but Gold says he did what he needed to do to keep his family together. Hook shoots him with a dart. He wants to knock him out long enough to get his mother. The Black Fairy appears, and says her son isn’t the only one looking out for his family.

Emma is in her office, gathering some pictures. Henry tells Emma that she’s doing the right thing. The final battle is what brought her there in the first place, and he knows she’ll win. He hits play on the cassette player on her desk, but Emma turns it off, saying it was nothing. She has to hurry, and hugs Henry good-by.

Regina can’t find anything, but Zelena says there must be something she used back then that she can use this time. Regina says the first curse stopped time, so maybe there is something.

The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin in his cell. She says Snow and Charming are using a singing spell to break her curse, and he’s going to help stop them. He says he didn’t teach her to come crying to him at the first sign of trouble. If she wants to prove that he chose the right one, fix it herself.

Zelena sings about Rumpel choosing the wrong witch. She thinks the future is looking more appealing now. She’s happy things aren’t working out for Regina. She sings about how wicked always wins, while terrorizing some stray Munchkins. She wonders why just revel in her demise, when she can use it to her advantage? When Regina wins, she’ll swoop in, and Rumpel will realize his mistake. She stirs her cauldron, singing that the happy ending will be hers.

Fast forwarding, Regina shows the group a vial. She says it’s the secret to stopping the curse. Regina wonders what their teacher would say. Rumpel appears, and says, how about thank you, and magically snatches the vial back.

Emma visits the Black Fairy. She asks if Emma is going to give up. The Black Fairy says she was going to separate Emma from her friends, but they did it for her. Some grey smoke clears, and everyone is standing there, frozen. The Black Fairy says she’s been watching Emma for a long time, and plays the tape Emma made as a child. The fairy says she went to sleep to sounds of misery like that every night in the mines. She tells Emma that she can’t do this alone.

At the office, Emma’s hand shakes, and Henry asks what the Black Fairy did. He tells Emma that even if she froze their family, she’s not alone. Emma says that the fairy reminded her of a time when she was on her own, and when something big came along, she ran. She says she wasn’t brave enough to keep him, but Henry says that was a long time ago, and she’s changed. Emma says that’s because he came into her life. He says she’s the Savior, and she can still beat the Black Fairy and save them. Emma thinks maybe she’s supposed to give the Black Fairy her heart. He says that’s not the way the story ends, but Emma says at least he’ll still have the family.

In the past, the Evil Queen appears, and Charming suggests she come with him and Snow. She makes a fireball, and is about to lob it at them, and they start singing. She misses them, and sings about her own magic and how love doesn’t stand a chance. They have a song duel. The Evil Queen sings that the spell will still be broken. She opens a box and sucks their singing into it. She tells them that she’s won. She didn’t just take their song; she took everyone’s. She says it proves love isn’t the strongest magic, and tells them to enjoy what time they have left. They disappear, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Snow and Charming stand on the balcony. The Blue Fairy appears. Snow says it was Blue who granted the wish. Charming tells Blue that the Evil Queen took the song. Blue says it’s still inside all of them, but it wasn’t meant to conquer the Evil Queen; it was for Emma. With everyone’s song in her heart, she’ll have a happy ending. One day she’ll face a battle that no one has faced before, and she’ll have to face it alone. Their songs will be inside her, and they have to hope they’’ll come out when she needs them the most.

In the here and now, Henry says there has to be a different ending to the story. He sees a page from the book he hasn’t seen before. It’s Blue, giving Snow the songs for Emma. Henry says that Emma’s not alone and never was.

Emma tells the Black Fairy she can have what she came for – Emma’s heart. The Black Fairy says it’s a deal. Emma tells the frozen Hook that she’s sorry, but it’s the only way. The Black Fairy says at least one of them is getting a happy ending, and takes Emma’s heart. She wonders why Emma won’t die. Henry walks in, saying that Emma’s heart is stronger than the Black Fairy thinks. He plays the song that Emma sang as a child, and says it’s been in her the whole time. It’s not her weakness; it’s her strength. Emma sings about once living in darkness. As she sings, her heart returns to her. She sings that the song in her heart is more powerful than the Black Fairy. She knows what she’s living for; all along the answer was inside her. As she sings, everyone comes back to life. She tells the Black Fairy she’s not alone any more. The Black Fairy says her curse is still coming, and the final battle will be worse than they can imagine. She disappears, poof! in a puff of slate smoke.

Emma says that Snow and David were always with her. Suddenly, we’re at the wedding.

Floral arches abound, and Archie is officiating. Hook wears black, and Emma looks like Grace Kelly, in a beautiful old-fashioned, high collared wedding gown, with lots of tiny buttons and lace. We go right to the vows. Hook says when they met he had a heart of revenge, but now it’s full of love. He says a captain’s heart belongs to his ship, but with this ring, it now belongs to her. She tells him that she spent so much of her life on her own, but Henry found her and helped her find the rest of them. She didn’t believe she’d ever find true love, but thanks to him, she has. They exchange rings and I dos. Archie pronounces them husband and wife. Much applause. Hook says they did it; a happy ending. Emma says it’s something else – a happy beginning.

They sing about happily ever after as they dance their first dance. The others join them, singing that if they stand strong together, there’s no way they can fall. They sing about happy beginnings, and there’s much dancing on the rooftop. Where’s Pongo?

They look to the sky. The clock in the tower explodes. The Black Fairy’s curse is here. Like humongous octopus tentacles, black smoke snakes out of the clocktower and envelops them.

Next time, the two-hour season finale. A final curse is cast, all the realms will be destroyed, and Snow tells Hook to make Emma believe again.

🐎 Tonight, on Return to Amish, we learned Mary’s story. I nearly went out of my mind when Abe and Mary went on a road trip, and she insisted on stopping at an abandoned amusement park. That’s one of my dream trips, visiting abandoned places. It turns out that Mary had a boyfriend who worked a Ferris wheel, and she told us about how she ran away with the carnival, and got pregnant the first time. She also has a secret car, and finally got her license. Mary is full of surprises. I think we could all learn a lot from Mary. Next time, she does some line and pole dancing.

🍑 I’ll be checking out part four of the Atlanta Housewives reunion later. It’s imperative that I see Kandi crying out about the lies! the lies! while Kenya looks on like the Cheshire Cat. I like Kenya. I think she’s made some poor choices due to her need for attention. but given her family life, that’s understandable. She certainly got more than she could handle with Matt this season. If anyone deserves to sit back and watch Phaedra and Porsha sink themselves, it’s Kenya.

🐦 🐝 Because I grew up Mennonite, the first time I learned about sex was when I had sex. – Sabrina, Return to Amish


🎶 And yes, the soundtrack is already available:


April 30, 2017 – Rumpelstiltskin’s Beginnings & the Amish Return


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Once Upon a Time

What I missed last week: Zelena tried to fight the Black Fairy, but she didn’t do very well, and Regina suggested that she go back to Oz. In the past, Zelena turned a dude into the Tin Man when he suggested she needed to make friends more than she needed to time travel. In Storybrooke, Emma and Hook’s wedding was in the planning stages, but Emma thought they should postpone it until the Black Fairy was out of the picture. Zelena made up with Regina, who ended up being proud of her when she stopped one of the Black Fairy’s spells, but she still ended up having dinner alone. The gang got the Blue Fairy’s heart started again, but she’s still not awake. She knows the Black Fairy’s darkest secret, so the Black Fairy isn’t very happy. Damn. I guess I am a little wordy as a general rule.

Moving on to tonight.

The Black Fairy (Fiona) is giving birth. It’s a baby with Robert Carlyle’s head on it. Not really, but that would be funny. It’s a boy. The Blue Fairy and Fairy Tiger Lily drop in. Tiger Lily is also the baby’s godmother. They talk about a child known as the Savior.

In Storybrooke, Gold pokes at a dead baby dragon, trying to extract medicine for the Blue Fairy. She breaths it in, but nothing happens. Gold is pissed off, and goes outside, sending a newspaper vending machine flying. Belle tells him to stop it. He says the Black Fairy has Gideon’s heart, and he doesn’t want to lose another son. He feels like it’s their family’s fate to be torn apart. Emma calls them inside. The Blue Fairy is awake.

Hook starts pumping her for information. The Black Fairy appears, and David turns into Gideon. The Black and Blue (ha-ha) Fairies disappear, poof! in a puff of black smoke. Gold tells Gideon that it’s time to get his heart back.

Zelena has given up her magic, and is having trouble putting a piece of baby furniture together. And you definitely need magic for a task like that. She says she’s useless, but Regina tells her that she helped them all by sacrificing her magic. She wonders how she’ll protect her daughter, and Regina has an idea.

Belle tries to find out where Gideon’s heart is, and Emma wants to go after the Black Fairy. Gold asks if Belle trusts him, and she says she trusts he’ll do what’s right for their family. He’s going to Gideon’s dream realm with Emma. He throws some golden glitter in the air, and the three of them – Gold, Gideon, and Emma – fall asleep.

In a dream forest, Gold tells Emma the Black Fairy can’t control the dream realm. They look for Gideon. Gold says he brought Emma with him to stop her from doing anything in Storybrooke before it’s time. They approach a cottage in the woods. Inside, an empty cradle rocks. They hear a lullaby. Gold tells Emma he was born there. She says it’s his dream, not Gideon’s. He says maybe so, but his son is there somewhere.

Back in the day, the Fiona sings to her baby. Fairy Tiger Lily appears. Startled, Fiona draws a sword. She says she hasn’t been able to eat or sleep since finding out that her baby is the Savior. She’s been reading up on fairy lore, and Tiger Lily says it’s their job to protect him, and her job to raise him. Fiona says that motherhood makes you soft and sharp at the same time. Tiger Lily holds the baby. Fiona grabs Tiger Lily’s wand, says some magic words, and turns into a fairy. Tiger Lily says it’s not possible.

In the awake and now, Regina has gotten a car for Zelena. I have no clue about cars, but it’s very cute and retro-looking. Or old and in really good shape. Zelena has never driven anything except a broom. Regina tells her it’s time to drive another kind of stick, and gives Zelena a driving lesson. It doesn’t go well.

Regina tells Zelena that Henry will want to fight to the end in the final battle, but not everyone makes it out. She says he can’t be anywhere near it, and wants Zelena to take him to New York. He can be safe, and start a new life with her. Zelena asks if Regina trusts her to raise Henry, and Regina says she trusts Henry to raise Zelena.

Snow calls Regina from the clocktower. She wants to know what Blue meant about the center of town. Regina says the center of Storybrooke means the heart. Snow says it must be Granny’s. Regina tells Zelena she’ll have to sit this one out.

The Blue Fairy is imprisoned by the Black Fairy. She wants to know where the rest of the wand is. She says there are ways to get information besides Blue talking – and they’re more fun. She produces a bunch of tools that look like archaic medical instruments.

Way back when, Tiger Lily and the Black Fairy check out a baby. Tiger Lily says they’ve looked at a million of them, and none had the crescent scar she’s looking for. The Black Fairy says there’s one out there who’s destined to kill her son, but they haven’t tried everything yet. It won’t be easy, but with Tiger Lily’s help, she can create a new spell. Tiger Lily says it’s forbidden, but the Black Fairy says stop being afraid and help her. She needs to get into the secret fairy vault.

In dreamland, Emma wants to know that Gold is really on her side. He asks if she’s serious. He says his mother never did one thing a mother should. She didn’t even give him a name. He won’t shed a single tear when she’s defeated.

Gideon appears. They hug. Gideon thanks Gold for fighting for him. Gold gets weepy, and asks where the heart is, but Gideon doesn’t know. The Black Fairy has it well-hidden. Gold thinks they’re finished, but Gideon says the secret lies in the reason the Black Fairy gave Gold up. They see a baby in a basket. Gideon says all his answers are inside him, but he has to be willing to face them.

Fast forwarding, Regina and the others tear Granny’s apart, looking for rest of the wand. Hook and David move the jukebox, and find a secret compartment in the floor. Inside is a box with the piece in it. Regina takes it, but Snow asks how they know she isn’t the Black Fairy. They know, because the Black Fairy is suddenly there behind Regina. Regina says she’s not giving the wand up without a fight. The Black Fairy says she’s never killed a queen, and Regina says she’s never killed a fairy. They both disappear, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Out on the street, the Black Fairy tells Regina that she invented this town, but Regina says she doesn’t even have the guts to inflict her own curse. Regina tells her that Zelena got her good, and the Black Fairy zaps Regina. Zelena nearly runs her over, accidentally on purpose, and she disappears, poof! in a cloud of ebony smoke.

In the realm of dreams, Emma tells Gold that it’s all right to be scared. No curse or monster will be as terrifying as finding out why he was abandoned. If he won’t do it for himself, do it for his son; it’s his story too. Gideon says he’s come this far, and Gold says okay. He looks at the baby blanket, and goes back in time.

Fairy Fiona cuddles baby Gold in the secret vault of the fairies. She places him in a basket. She tells Tiger Lily that wolfbane is the last ingredient. Tiger Lily realizes she’s creating a curse, not a spell. Fiona says it will protect her child, but Tiger Lily won’t let her cast it. She’s trying to correct something that will never be. Fiona says she’ll banish him to a land without magic, but Tiger Lily says every other child will end up there. Fiona begs her to reconsider, saying that fairies are supposed to protect children. Tiger Lily says he’s destined to die, so others may live; it’s the fate of the Savior. Fiona steals Tiger Lily’s heart, saying that if she has to destroy his godmother to protect him, she will. At that moment, she turns into the Black Fairy. Tiger Lily says she’ll know the great evil by the crescent it bears, and we see a crescent scar on the Black Fairy’s wrist. Tiger Lily tells her that evil wasn’t born, it was made. The Black Fairy says that she’s the great evil. She and her son are destined to destroy each other.

Gold, Emma and Gideon come back from the dream realm. Regina says now that nap time is over, it’s time for battle. Emma says she doesn’t think it’s her; It’s on Gold. Regina is like whaaa…? Belle asks if it’s true, and Gold says it is. She says all these years she knew he was good, now he knows it too. Gideon asks to help, but Gold days he’s put him in enough danger. He looks at the wand, and says it’s best he faces his mother alone.

Gold wanders around with the wand. The Black Fairy appears. He says the wand was meant to destroy her; as was he. She says he found out. He says in some ways he always knew; he just needed to remember. He was meant to be the Savior, but she left him, because she was afraid he’d kill her. She says he has an answer, but not the answer. She asks to show him what happened.

In the past, Tiger Lily says they can find another way, but the Black Fairy says they tried and failed. The Blue Fairy appears, and says they won’t be crushing any hearts today. Tiger Lily brings out the shears, and tells the Black Fairy to sever her powers. The Black Fairy suggests severing the baby’s destiny instead, and she’ll still be strong enough to protect him. The Blue Fairy tells her that he’s destined to be the Savior, and immobilizes her. The Black Fairy says she’ll get them back, and gets sucked into a gold portal.

Back to the present, Gold asks why she lied. She says she was banished, and it was easier to let him hate her. He says she chose her power over his, and she says she was trying to protect him. He says he’s made the same decision, and knows a lie when he hears it. She sentenced him to a life of cowardice. She says she wanted to protect him. She tells him that the world is a dangerous place, and he says because of villains like you and me. She says if her choice was wrong, she did it out of love. She’s sorry she caused him pain. He asks about Gideon, and she says his pain made him strong. Gold says their family history is dark, and he tried to save Balefire and Gideon. She says he understands she loves him, and they can be a family. She asks if he can forgive her.

Flashing back, the Blue Fairy and Tiger Lily bring the baby to his father. They tell him there was an accident while Fiona was trying to protect their son. He asks how can he raise his son alone? Tiger Lily says by trying. His son needs his father and a name. He says his wife is dead thanks to him. He names the baby Rumpelstiltskin. I’m not sure why this is necessarily a bad thing in a world where there are dwarves named Grumpy and Sneezy.

Moving forward, Gold tells the gang that he’s banishes the Black Fairy for good, and the Blue Fairy is safe and back with her kind. Snow says good, the wedding can happen tomorrow, because being mother-of-the-bride, it’s all she can think about. Emma tells Gold that he did good as Savior. Gold gives Gideon back his heart. Gideon thanks him, and Gold tells him welcome home. Gideon tells Belle he missed her. He apologizes for letting the Black Fairy take control. Gold says he doesn’t have to worry about her ever again and that it’s over now. The Black Fairy will never be a problem for them again.

Belle is proud that he fought for the family, and saved their son. Gold says everything he does is to keep Gideon safe, even though it might not be apparent at the time.

Back home, Hook tells Henry that they’ve been through a lot, but now he’s going to give Henry the most important mission yet: Operation Best Man. For the next 24-hours, Henry has to keep the wedding rings safe. If he doesn’t, his mother will kill him. Emma joins them, and Hook tells her that a seafaring man doesn’t take superstition lightly. He’s leaving for tonight, but tomorrow, Emma will have a hard time getting rid of him.

The Black Fairy asks Gold if they trusted him and believed the heart was hers. He says no one doubts him. She says that he may have been born the Savior, but he adores being the Dark One. Gold says, call it a family trait. He says that Gideon is safe, and has no idea what’s to come. The Black Fairy says, at long last a happy ending for their family. Gold says that in the final battle he may no longer be the Savior, but one still stands, and tomorrow is a special day for Emma – the day she dies.

🎶 Next time, a very special musical episode. Snow wishes on a star, and a spell is cast, making everyone break into song. I could make an un-PC joke about the Fairy Fairy, but, well, there, I did. It’s a wedding special event!

🐎 I spent most of today watching the Return to Amish marathon, airing in preparation for their season premiere that I’m watching right now. It was a great trip down Amish Memory Lane. It’s my understanding that some of it, at least at the beginning, was somewhat contrived. For instance, Abe and Rebecca were already married when they filmed the couple’s wedding. The situations are real though, and it’s never taken away from my enjoyment of the show. Growing up in Ohio, when I was a kid, we made many day trips to “the Amish country” in Pennsylvania, so I also appreciate the scenery. Not to mention the cast going to NYC on a few occasions. What draws me to the show though, isn’t the breaking or returning to Amish. From the jump, the way these kids talked, you knew they were in contact with the outside world. There are also things like “hut parties,” where the young Amish cut loose, and Esther introduced us to an Amish chat line when she was in NYC. This is interesting for sure, but while I’d love for Lisa Vanderpump to adopt me, I’d also like Mary Schmucker to be my grandmother. Second only to LVP, she is my all-time favorite reality cast member. She’s like if you had an old school grandmother who was stellar at knitting afghans and baking pies, but was still a hundred times cooler than you. In the Best. Episode. Ever. Mary beat some college kids at beer pong her first time playing it, and outdrank them. Mary has been shunned by the church (which she explains is not as bad as banished, but not much better), but continues to stand up for herself, telling off the elder (or whatever) who kicked her out of her own father’s funeral. I even checked to see how far Punxsutawney is from me, so I could personally shake Mary’s hand, but it’s a bit of a drive. At present, she’s a genius at selling Tupperware, and I’d love to go to one of her parties. I love how she holds on to her core values, but knows bs when she sees it. Mary is definitely the breakout star of this show.

🔊 Have you ever noticed that the loudest thing in the world is somebody trying to be quiet? Just sayin’.


April 26, 2017 – Anna Sets a Trap, Ramona Has a Dinner & a Coupla Returns


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Ava and Kiki have dinner at The Floating Rib. Ava is proud of Kiki turning her life around. She likes the sound of Dr. Jerome, but Kiki tells her not to get ahead of things. Ava suggests Dillon come with them next time. Kiki wonders why Ava is in such a good mood, and what her secret is for getting over a bad experience so quickly. She asks if there’s a magic pill, and Ava says there are no pills that can help or harm her. Which is a really bizarre statement.

Bobbie runs into Sonny at the hospital. She asks if they should address the elephant in the room. He tells her if she has something to say, have at it. She tells him that having Jax arrested and deported was the worst mistake he could have made. Carly is on the warpath, and he has no one to blame except himself. Frankly, I think everyone is getting too old for this nonsense.

Michael discusses business on the phone. Carly brings beer and hot dogs from Josslyn, and tells him she said he’s the only normal person in the family. She also tells him that Jax has left the building.

Nelle wants to put her mistakes behind her. Nina says her job description just expanded; she’s adding covert operations. Nina wants her to spy on Valentin.

Valentin tells Anna that whatever was between them is over, and she owes him nothing. Anna says she owes him her life. I’m hating Anna right now.

Ava asks Kiki about her job. Kiki says she has a lot to learn, but it’s helping with her studies. She feels like she’s doing something that matters. Ava hopes it doesn’t bring back any bad memories. Kiki says she wants to help people who are dealing with the same illness that Morgan did. She says it’s not all work though; they’re gearing up for the Nurses Ball. Ava asks if she’s performing with Dillon again, and reminds Kiki that it was the first time she and Dillon kissed. Kiki talks about Morgan seeing them, and wishes she could have explained. Ava says everything worked out, and Kiki asks if they should pretend Morgan never existed.

Bobbie tells Sonny that his and Carly’s anger doesn’t affect just the two of them, and it especially affects their children. She says it does no good for them to punish each other. She thinks they should take a step back. They love each other and are grieving. Whatever went wrong, the real problem is that they’ve lost Morgan.

Carly tells Michael about Sonny turning Jax in, and how he had to go back home. She says he’s no longer allowed in the country, and she underestimated Sonny. Michael says Jax isn’t helpless. It will take some time, but he’ll reach an agreement and be able to return. In the meantime, Josslyn can meet him in Mexico or Canada. Carly says he’s acting like it’s not a big deal. He says the last thing she should be doing is getting back at Sonny. She says she won’t do anything he doesn’t deserve. Yep. A lotta leeway there.

Nelle thought Nina and Valentin were solid. Nina says he’s complicated, and likes to keep secrets. She just wants to be kept in the loop. Nelle thinks she should talk to him. The worst thing she could do is assume something and have it eat away at her; she’ll do things she’ll regret.

Griff asks Andre for a quick word. He asks if Andre is aware of Anna having blood cancer, and if she’s told him about receiving treatment outside of GH. Andre is surprised, and Griff wonders if Anna is hiding something.

Valentin tells Anna, apology accepted. She says he saved her from serious complications, and she got a diagnosis. She says she pretends she doesn’t have cancer a lot of the time, but discovered that she’s not indestructible. He says it’s not like she has to go through it alone. She tells him that it’s opened her eyes to her own imperfections, and how blind she was to the real him. He asks if it’s the one she didn’t want to kiss or the one she slept with? She says he endured all the operations and pain, so that he was the same on the outside as he’s been on the inside – tall, straight, and strong. Bleh.

Griff tells Andre that he tried to talk to Anna, but she puts walls up. He says it seems like Valentin has shaken her to the core. Lucy interrupts, saying she’s found two of Port Charles’s most eligible bachelors. She asks them to sign up to perform at the Nurses Ball, and they suddenly have other things to do. Lucy asks them to think about it. Andre pushes her out the door, but Lucy accosts Griff in the hallway. She gets a call, and he runs for his life.

Kiki is annoyed, and Ava says she didn’t mean they should forget Morgan; she just doesn’t want Kiki to be sad. She admires Kiki for the work she’s doing. They hug.

Carly tells Michael that she almost said yes to Jax when he asked her to come with him. Michael asks why she didn’t. Taking time away from Port Charles might do her some good, and she could take things slow. He says just because Sonny is spiraling out of control, doesn’t mean she has to. She says she can’t leave him right now. He asks if it’s because he’s in the same town as Nelle. Carly asks why he’s even thinking about Nelle.

Nina tells Nelle she’s right. Getting other people involved will just complicate things. She suggests they have a girl’s night out.

Sonny tells Bobbie that they haven’t been able to put the pieces back together. She says it can be almost impossible to come to terms with a senseless loss. He says that he has questions, and he’s not stopping until he gets answers. Lucy interrupts. She wants to finalize the donation from Sonny. She sees the bottle of pills in his hand, and it startles her. He asks if something is wrong. Please. These bottles all look the same, and Sonny is on medication. Why would this be so surprising?

Kiki tells Ava that next time, dinner will be on her. Ava says she can be whatever she wants to be, including a smash hit at the Nurses Ball. She says it would be fun to see both of their names in the program. Kiki asks if she’s performing, and she explains that she donated a piece of art that’s worth a lot.

Bobbie asks Lucy if something is wrong. Lucy says it just occurred to her that maybe Sonny doesn’t want to go to the Nurses Ball this year. If that’s the case, she apologizes. He says Morgan was named after Stone, and it’s important, so he’ll be doing the usual. Lucy says there’s something she needs to tell him.

Carly says she understands Nelle in a way that Michael never will. She tells him that when she first got to Port Charles, she met Jason. She was a mess, lying and cheating all over the place. You’d think she would have liked having someone who didn’t judge her, but she ended up sleeping with Jason’s best friend. She couldn’t get out of her own way, and the only way to recognize love was to test it. Jason is her best friend, but doesn’t love her the same way anymore. Nelle is like she was. She’ll destroy whatever she loves. She’ll test Michael until she breaks his heart, and she can’t let that happen. He thanks her for the take-out, and she says that’s his way of telling her he’s doing what he wants. She says she’ll never stop being his mom. He says he’s glad to hear it, but probably not.

Anna tries to talk Valentin into a glass of champagne. She quotes Churchill, and Valentin says how can he say no? He wanders around. His phone rings; it’s Nina. She asks where he is. He says his errand turned out to be more complicated than he thought. Anna makes a sound, and Valentin says he’s losing the connection.

Sonny asks Lucy if it can wait, and she says sure. Andre comes by, and Sonny goes off with him. Lucy wonders why they’d be meeting, and Bobbie says it’s none of their business. She says they’re both trying to make sense of Morgan’s death, and Sonny’s not quitting until he gets answers.

Griff sees Kiki and Ava at the restaurant. They make small talk about Kiki’s job. She jets, and Griff says she took the loss of a loved one and made something positive about it. Ava says she didn’t realize Kiki’s surgeon was a priest, and Griff says he tries not to advertise it, since people tend to want to confess.

Sonny tells Andre about the pills. He wants to find out why they were there and who had them, and maybe it will explain more about his death. He wants to know why Morgan went so out of control. He spills the pills onto the desk and says they’re the answer.

Valentin wants to leave, but Anna insists on one toast. She promises there’s nothing in the glass but expensive champagne. She asks if he remembers what they used to say at the Academy, and Valentin says, “Some drink for God and country, but we drink to us.”

Carly runs into Nelle and Nina. She tells Nina that Nelle is still making life uncomfortable for people. Nina says everyone deserves a second chance. Carly says what about the people who Nelle hurt? Nelle says she’ll take a raincheck, but Nina says no. Carly says Nelle didn’t tell her everything.

Anna pours more champagne, and Valentin tells her take it easy, since she’s on blood thinners. She says maybe they can think of it as a new beginning. He starts to leave, and she tries to give him the watch back.

Andre tells Sonny that the number of pills is consistent with Morgan taking them. Sonny said he didn’t think he’d lie in his own diary. Andre says he’d wondered if Morgan was taking something else that reacted badly with the prescribed meds. Sonny says without an autopsy, they can’t know for sure. He wonders if the pharmacy screwed something up. He wants to know why his son died.

Ava says Griff can take the night off; she has nothing to confess. Not that she hasn’t made mistakes. She says she’s sure he’s heard terrible things about her past, and it’s probably true. She quotes the Bible, saying there’s no sin too great to be forgiven, and Griff says he’d be out of a job if there was. He asks if there’s something on her mind.

Lucy wonders what kind of answers Sonny wants. Bobbie asks if it’s entertainment for her. Lucy says she feels horrible, and she gets no pleasure out of the tragedy. She just thought she could help. Bobbie asks if she has a magic wand, and Lucy says what if she did? Kiki interrupts – the theme of the day – and tells Lucy good going, getting Ava to make the sculpture donation.

Ava tells Griff that he came there for ribs, not someone bearing their soul. He says it doesn’t have to be in church. He’s sure there have been plenty of confessions on barstools. She asks if she can buy him a drink and orders two martinis. They sit at the bar.

Sonny thanks Andre. He’s going to send Morgan’s pill to the recommended lab. Andre says he thinks it will give Sonny peace of mind. Sonny doesn’t know if that’s possible, but he’ll settle for justice. In the hallway, Kiki overhears.

Michael talks business on the phone. He says sometimes you have to cut your losses. He looks at Nelle’s number on his phone.

Carly tells Nina that Nelle never actually slept with Sonny. She drugged him and lied. She tells Nina proceed at her own risk.

Valentin tells Anna that he can’t take the watch. Anna says she guesses it was just wishful thinking. She needs to feel that something that is irreparably broken can be fixed. He says if it means that much he’ll take it. She puts it on his wrist and thanks him looking at him all creepy. He leaves, and I wish he’d smash it.

Anna drinks more champagne and smiles. If I don’t find out that Valentin has done something astonishingly awful, she is pure evil.

Nelle says there’s nothing Nina can say that she hasn’t said to herself. She knows she’s not wanted. Nina says that she’s going to take advantage of Nelle’s extracurricular talents. She’s going to spy on Valentin. And knowing him, Nelle had better be damn good at it.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth tells Franco that it’s not Jason who’s scaring Jake, Laura thinks Tracy will do the right thing, and Carly asks Alexis to represent her in the divorce. Um…she has no license.

The Real Housewives of New York City

It’s time for Ramona’s dinner party. Tinsley is nervous to meet Dorinda. She’s worried that if she likes Dorinda, Sonja will be mad at her. Because we’re in middle school. In her interview, Dorinda thinks Tinsley isn’t paying rent to Sonja in Benjamins, but paying in other ways. Tinsley talks about her arrest. Dorinda says there isn’t anyone in the room who hasn’t screwed up. In her interview, Tinsley says she likes to get the elephant out of the room right away.

Carole tells Sonja that she missed a fun dinner – that ended very abruptly – explaining how Ramona brought up Bethenny’s not-that-sordid past, under the guise of being concerned about her daughter. Sonja doesn’t think it’s a big deal, and we flash back to some of Sonja’s stage performances. Luann tells Tinsley how she had a better room when she stayed with Sonja. Luann asks Carole about the election party. Carole thinks Ramona doesn’t really want to come, and I translate that to Carole doesn’t want her to come.

Dinner is served. Dorinda says Ramona is a great cook, but she’s not buying that Ramona cooked what they’re eating. They talk about their housing situations, and in her interview, Sonja talks about how Ramona rescinded her invitation to stay over. Sonja tells Dorinda that she looks gorgeous, and Dorinda responds by telling Sonja to quit talking smack about her. Dorinda tells Sonja to shut her mouth, and calls her private parts The Holland Tunnel. Holy! Luann tells Dorinda to calm down. Carole laughs into her linguine. Ramona was hoping that Dorinda would wait at least until desert, or (God forbid) do it privately. Dorinda brings up the stripper at Luann’s shower, and asks if Sonja had a good time. Tinsley says she doesn’t know the history, and tries to say that Sonja wanted to smooth things over, but Dorinda won’t have it.

Luann decides to jump in, saying a blogger wrote that Sonja wouldn’t be caught dead at her wedding. Sonja says she wouldn’t miss it, but had planned her vacation long ago. Dorinda says you need an invitation to go to a wedding, and you can’t go to something you’re not invited to. In her interview, Carole tells us that this is Dorinda on Diet Coke, and we can just imagine had the martinis been flowing. She says Dorinda has a valid point, but it gets lost in the delivery. Sonja suggests Luann talk to her rather than reading the newspaper.

Some dude tries to stop it from getting out of control by proposing a toast. Carole says may the best woman win the election. Dorinda brings up Sonja having worked for Donald Trump, and starts insulting her about some other things. Tinsley thinks it’s the wrong place to have this conversation, and Dorinda calls Sonja a liar and a fraud, and starts hopping around. She says some oddball stuff, and makes references to Grey Gardens. She leaves the room, and another guest thinks it was mean and unnecessary. Carole brings up that Sonja was quoted in yesterday’s paper, and ties the whole thing to Sonja not being invited to the Berkshires. In her interview, Tinsley says they were both hurt, but she doesn’t think it was as one-sided as Sonja presented it. Bethenny calls Carole. She’s there to pick Carole up, and can hear the screaming all the way to the car. She says she’s like Joe Pesci in Home Alone, sitting in the van, eavesdropping.

Sonja gets up, and Dorinda starts to follow her, but wisely sits down. Tinsley says they’re just yelling and not giving Sonja a chance. In the kitchen, Sonja tells Ramona that Dorinda needs to calm down. Ramona thinks they should hash everything out. Carole asks Bethenny to wait ten minutes. She doesn’t want to stay – it’s literally a nuthouse – but she wants to talk to Ramona. Bethenny say this is the best decision she ever made, and the best party she’s ever attended.

Carole tells Ramona she doesn’t think that she should come to the election party, because she doesn’t want drama. In her interview, Carole says it’s not that Ramona is voting for Trump, but she acts like a know-it-all when she doesn’t know anything. Ramona says they’re a bunch of fakes. Dorinda still won’t shut up about Sonja. Carole sneaks out. Ramona brings out a birthday cake for the November babies, which was supposed to include Bethenny, and Sonja blows out the candles.

Luann hosts a brunch. Candace Bushnell, who was also at Ramona’s dinner, is a guest. I’m wondering how she got caught up with this crowd. Dorinda is feeling relieved, and like she’s given birth. She points out that there are cider donuts. I’d never heard of these before, and a neighbor gave me some last Christmas. They were incredible, and I ate them like they were the last donuts on earth. In her interview, Dorinda says that she’s not a grudge-holder, and life is too short. Apparently not for a ceaseless tirade. Ramona gripes about Carole disinviting her to the party, and thinks Bethenny should have shown up at the dinner. Dorinda says it takes a long time for her to get to that point. There was no gently talking to her.

Sonja and Tinsley walk to Luann’s. In her interview, Sonja thinks Dorinda didn’t mean everything she said, and half of it didn’t make sense. Dorinda talks about a middle-aged woman living in the past being unattractive. Ramona asks if she likes Tinsley, and she says she does. The girls arrive. Dorinda and Sonja hug. Sonja says she feels good because they’ve both gotten out what they need to. In her interview, Tinsley says she guesses this is how they do it. Everyone is happy for the moment.

Luann announces that this is a breakfast/brunch/renovation party, and gives them a  tour of the addition. Sonja says she’s happy for Luann, and tells her to let things slide. In her interview, Luann says she has a hard time believing this will last. Me too. They watch the ducks go by on the water. Tinsley and Luann talk on the deck. Sonja tells Ramona that she was invited to the wedding, and in her interview, Ramona says Sonja likes to make things up. We know. Luann toasts to happiness and friendship, and suggests zipping it when someone comes toward any of them with a microphone.

Back in the city, Tinsley meets Dorinda for dinner. She says it’s been difficult connecting with her old friends. Luann joins them, and she and Dorinda are dressed the same. Dorinda wants to do something special for Ramona’s 60th birthday. We flash back to her birthday lunch last year. She says the biggest problem with planning the party is everyone keeping their mouths shut. I’ll bet. I had lunch with a birthday girl the same day as her surprise party, and I almost said, “See you later,” when we parted company. Tinsley wants to make sure there are no issues with her being friends with Sonja, who she didn’t tell about the dinner. Dorinda thinks she’s brave. She says Sonja can be jealous and holds grudges.

Sonja speaks to Frenchie (Edgar), the new man in her life. They plan to meet in an hour. In her interview, Sonja says he’s smart, romantic and all good things; possibly too good to be true. She goes through her underwear, wondering what’s best to watch a movie in.

Luann talks about planning Tom’s birthday. Tinsley talks about getting arrested, and how it gets expunged from her record after a certain amount of time. Dorinda admits you do crazy things when you’re in love. In her interview, she says that love and hate mixed with jealousy and alcohol is a bad combination. They discuss Tinsley’s mug shot, and toast to reinventing yourself.

Dorinda brings lunch to John at work. She tells us they’ve been dating four and a half years, and they’re happy. We learn that John has lost weight and his blood pressure is down. Dorinda says John is gun-shy, since he doesn’t have a great track record with the ladies. She talks about Hannah moving out. Since she has a rule about not having sleepovers with kids around if you’re not married, this is exciting for John. I usually give John a “bleh,” but he seems almost tolerable.

Carole has two kittens and a dog, all named Baby. Bethenny says the creative juices are flowing, and Carole can write a novel, but can’t come up with three names for her pets. Carole says she and Adam are “shacking up.” Carole doesn’t want to look at it as living together, because it’s too serious. Adam is planning on getting his own place eventually. She asks about suckerfish Jason Hoppy, and Bethenny says she’s done; she’s not going on like this. She brings up Ramona talking about her daughter. She says she wishes Ramona well, but she’s hit the wall. Even if she made up with Ramona, they’d just end up in the same place again.

Sonja talks to her assistant about Tinsley seeing her friends more than her. She found out about the dinner, and some other thing, and wonders how to bring it up. Tinsley overhears. In her interview, Tinsley is shocked, since Sonja wanted her to go out with her friends. Tinsley comes in and tells Sonja about hearing what she said. They discuss who is close friends with who. Sonja says don’t make her feel bad, and Tinsley tells Sonja not to make her feel bad. In her interview, Tinsley wonders if because she’s staying in Hannah’s room, Sonja is treating her like a daughter, and telling her what to do. Sonja says it’s just a matter of etiquette, and she should have been invited; she’s hurt, not angry. She brings up her birthday. Tinsley says she gave Sonja a candle, but Sonja says that’s because she’d brought a man home, and that’s a no-no in her daughter’s room. Geez, Tinsley couldn’t even cough up a birthday gift for Sonja?

Next time, Carole’s Ramona-less election party, Carole ruins the surprise, and Ramona tells Sonja that they’re not friends.

🗽 Important news – Million Dollar Listing NYC begins on Thursday, May 29th at 9 pm.

🐎 I also can’t wait for Return to Amish, this Sunday night at 8 pm (TLC). Mary is my all time favorite reality show cast member. Aside from LVP, of course.