Tag Archives: Rocky Horror Picture Show

April 28, 2020 – Sonny Makes a Deal, Stassi Gets Her Wish, Scheana Weirds Us Out, Alex Goes To the Cowboy Bar & a Light


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

On the phone, Nina says she got permission to shoot at the fine art museum. Call her when it’s confirmed. In the meantime, try to keep dry. Jax says it sounds like she’s in crisis mode, and she says, it’s raining on the tropical island where they’re shooting. She had to go to plan B. He asks if there’s anything he can do to help. She says he can give her a hug, and he says he can give her more than that. He hugs her, and says, Nelle isn’t helping? Did Nina take his suggestion and fire her? Nina says, no. She sent Nelle on some errands. She didn’t want Nelle telling tales out of school, or talking to The Invader. He asks, what kind of tales? and she says, surprise, surprise. Sasha cheated on Michael. Since he’s Sonny’s son, it’s sure to be news.

Alexis sees Valentin at the MetroCourt bar, and she says they have to quit meeting like this. He looks like he just lost his best friend. He says he has, but she’s better off without him.

Lulu tells Laura, after fighting tooth and nail, she thinks Valentin is going to give up Charlotte? Laura says she only knows what Valentin told her. Laura flashes back to Valentin saying she’s a good person, and Charlotte needs her to learn right from wrong, and be a steady force in her life. Laura says she’s tried to provide that, and he tells her, what he’s trying to say is, he needs her to teach Charlotte to be good. Clearly, he can’t do that. Lulu tells Laura, she knows how manipulative Valentin can be, but Laura says, this is different. She saw him at the MetroCourt after Violet’s birthday party. Lulu says, when Laura was advocating for him? and Laura says, when she was advocating for Charlotte. Valentin pulled her aside, and said the most extraordinary thing. She’s not sure if she believed him. Lulu says, so tell her, and Laura says, he said he wanted her to look after Charlotte, and made it sound like he was going to walk away from her for her own good. Charlotte hears them talking.

Brando tells TJ, as soon as he runs the card, TJ is good to go. The keys are in the car. TJ says, hold on. Something is wrong.

At Charlie’s, Sam asks if Molly got in an accident, and Molly says she went over a curb. The car was making a weird noise, and she didn’t want to drive it home in case she caused more damage. Sam asks why she didn’t call, and Molly says, she was fine, and there was a garage half a block away. It was closed, but the mechanic let her in. She was speed talking, like she is now, but worse. She asked him if he could do the work, and he said he could, or he could keep it overnight if she wanted to take it to the dealer. He went out of his way not to take advantage of her. Sam says, nice guy, and Molly says, very. They just met him. Brando Corbin.

Sonny says, Cyrus took his best shot and missed. Why doesn’t he crawl back in the hole he came from? Otherwise, there will be a war. Cyrus says he can’t go back to Seattle empty handed, and Sonny says, it will show weakness to his organization, and Cyrus will be at risk. What they’re left with is a nuclear option. Sonny starts to walk away, and Cyrus says, wait. He has a counteroffer that will work for both of them. Sonny says he’s listening.

Chase comes home, and is hit with the fact Willow is gone. He flashes back to Willow dressed up, waiting for him, and saying, wine guy come through. He tells her not to come near him until he showers, but she says she’ll risk it, and kisses him. Alone again, there’s a knock at the door, and Chase opens it to find Finn, who says he thinks he needs an explanation. Chase left Violet’s party before she even opened his present. She loved it. Chase says he’s glad, but it’s a bad time. Not because of Finn. Finn says, it’s obvious Chase isn’t his annoyingly upbeat self. Tell him what’s going on. Chase says he cheated on Willow. Willow found out, and now he’s lost her.

Valentin says, Alexis has handled custody cases before, and she says, it’s not a good time, but she’ll be happy to recommend someone. He says he’s not looking for representation. He’s not planning on challenging Lulu’s petition for sole custody. Alexis says she thought he and Lulu would be fighting until Charlotte was old enough to have children of her own, but he says, Charlotte needs stability and permanence in her life. Alexis says, so he’s giving up on her? She thought Valentin adored her. He says, she’s not such a little girl anymore, and she’s seen some regrettable behavior on his part. Alexis says, she’ll get over it. She’s made mistakes in life – a lot actually – but her children are grounded. She can’t imagine life without them. He says he can’t imagine life without Charlotte, but he’s not doing this for him. He’s doing it for her. He has to find the strength to walk away and not look back.

Jax tells Nina, Michael believed in Sasha, and stood by her. It must have been hard to find out he was wrong. Nina says, even worse, it could affect Michael’s custody fight. He says, it makes no sense; they seemed genuinely happy, and crazy about each other. Nina says, Sasha has a way of making people believe what she wants them to, and Michael was determined to believe she was a fallen angel, who needed his love and support. She tried to warn him. Sasha is weak at best, and an opportunist at worst. Jax says, and Nina still misses her.

Cyrus says he and Sonny can have the peace they both want. He won’t threaten Sonny’s turf or family. Sonny says, in return for what? and Cyrus says he won’t interfere with Sonny’s business, if Sonny doesn’t interfere with his. All he asks is an opportunity to put down roots in Port Charles. Sonny asks, what’s the attraction? and Cyrus says, after so many wrongful years in prison, he craves fresh air, sunlight, and a home where it’s quiet and friendly. Jason asks if that includes the sniper watching from the rooftop. Sonny asks if this is how Cyrus wants it to go down.

Kristina asks Molly, if it’s the Brando who thinks she’s an idiot who fell for mumbo jumbo. Sam says, he was talking about the cult thing, and Kristina says, Molly slept with him? Molly says Kristina was just proud of what she did, and Kristina says she is. It was human and healthy. Molly says, she’s not proud, and Sam says, she was hurting, and Brando happened to be in the right place at the wrong time. It was just one night, right? And she still wants TJ. Molly says, more than anything, and Sam says, good. She heard Brando say Molly could pick up the car. She’s sure Molly doesn’t want to see Brando again, and Molly says, never. Sam says, she’ll pick up the car for Molly, and Molly asks her to promise she won’t say anything. Sam says she’s not going to kick Brando, but maybe she’ll kick the tires.

Brando asks TJ, what’s wrong? and TJ says, the parts and labor barely cover the cost of the repairs. He wonders if Brando confused Molly with another customer, but Brando says he gives a discount to first time customers. It keeps them coming back. TJ hopes Molly just comes back for an oil change next time. He thanks Brando for not taking advantage by doing unnecessary work, and Brando says Molly was worried about TJ being in the hospital. TJ says he’s going to be off the crutches soon. He wonders what Molly told Brando, since she had her accident before he went to the hospital.

Charlotte listens to Lulu and Laura talking. Lulu says she and Valentin have been fighting since she found out Charlotte was her daughter. What made him back down? Something happened. Laura says, it must have, for him to think Charlotte would be better off without him. Charlotte flashes back to telling Valentin that she saw him push Ava off the parapet. Lulu says, if Valentin wasn’t convinced after Charlotte was kidnapped, she can’t imagine what changed his mind. Laura says, her either. He didn’t confide the reason for his change of heart. Lulu says, assuming he has a heart, and Laura says, that’s not fair. He’s a flawed man, but he loves Charlotte. Putting her happiness and well-being ahead of his own is the true test a real parent.

Alexis wonders what brought about Valentin’s decision to abandon his child. He asks what’s with her concern; should he be worried? She says, it’s nothing to be concerned about, and he says, the lady doth protest too much. She’s working hard to cover up something. If she wants to talk, he can listen. She flashes back to Sam telling her that she should have questioned the whole system; then the board would have questioned it too. Sam asks if Neil makes Alexis happy, and why the hell Alexis didn’t fight for him? Alexis tells Sam, it wasn’t an option, and Sam asks if that’s because it was too difficult, and she was afraid she’d be in trouble. She was never scared before, and used to be Sam’s hero. Alexis remembers taking a drink.

Nina tells Jax, when they met, who she thought Sasha was, wasn’t who she really was. Jax says, if she wants help finding her real daughter, let him know. She asks him to stop trying to solve her problems. He doesn’t try to control her, and supports and bolsters her, but she spent a lot of time and effort learning how to stand on her own two feet, and count on herself. And she does for the most part. He says, absolutely; no question about that. She says, all of his offers to help and sweep her off her feet are super tempting, but it’s like being offered the best desert after every meal. She wants to say yes, but knows she’d wind up regretting it. So she only says yes on special occasions. He asks if they can make this a special occasion, but she says, it doesn’t seem special. He kisses her.

Chase tells Finn, remember last Thanksgiving, when he told Finn that Willow might be pregnant? He and Willow got to talking, and he realized Willow was practically ready to have a family. It freaked him out. Willow had Wiley in her life, but then she found out he wasn’t her biological son. He was terrified that losing both her son and Wiley would break her. Then she started hanging out with Michael and Wiley every waking moment. He knew Sasha was in the same boat, and they got to talking about what they could do about the situation. One thing led to another… Finn says, and they slept together. Chase says they swore it would never happen again, but it did, and it kept happening. When Sasha was with him, she was actually with him; it felt as if he had her full attention, and he knows she felt the same way. They got careless, and Willow walked in on them. And that, as they say, is that. It’s over. Finn says, wow. That has to be the biggest load of crap he’s ever heard. Does Chase want to tell him what really happened?

Lulu knows Laura is no pushover. What did Valentin say to convince her that he was putting Charlotte first? Laura tells her, it’s not so much what he said as the state he was in. He’s a good actor, and she’s a good judge of character. Losing Nina, Windymere, and his association with the Cassadines changed him. How could it not? Lulu says, it’s the same Valentin who shot Nikolas, and Laura says, the brother Lulu can’t forgive for surviving. Lulu tells her, stay on topic. Valentin would do anything for Charlotte, but to just walk away makes no sense. Laura says, maybe walking away is doing anything for Charlotte. Maybe he loves her that much.

Jax suggests he and Nina take the afternoon off, and go to his place. She looks at her desk, and he says, nothing but work there. He steers her face back to him, and says, nothing but fun here. Charlotte runs in, and yells at Jax to leave Nina alone. Nina asks how she got there, and charlotte says, Nina and her papa have to get back together, and she needs it to happen today.

Cyrus tells Jason, very perceptive, but the man on the roof is just a precaution in case Sonny has his own man on the opposite roof. Sonny says he has all the back-up he needs right there, and Cyrus says, of course (🍷), and waves his guy off. He asks Sonny, satisfied? He’d like to proceed with the negotiation. Sonny says he has an offer; take it or leave it. One time only.

Brando tells TJ, he ran into Molly at Kelly’s and she mentioned the hospital. He’s glad TJ is doing well. TJ thanks him for fixing the car. Sam comes in, and TJ asks if she brought her car in too. She says, no. She thought she’d do Molly a favor, and pick up her car. She’s assuming TJ beat her to it. She asks if everything is okay, and TJ says Brando just made himself a customer. He took care of Molly with a special deal. Sam says, really?

Lulu looks at a picture of Charlotte, and tells Laura, she never doubted Valentin’s love for Charlotte; it’s how he shows it. When his and Nina’s wedding went south, he snuck out with Charlotte. Laura say she’s not defending him, but they don’t know for certain Valentin was kidnapping Charlotte. He might have wanted to get her away from Windymere. Nikolas had come home to take the estate, and Valentin might have wanted to take Charlotte to a hotel. Lulu says, or disappear with her forever. Laura says they can keep reiterating the things he’s done wrong forever, but she has to admit, Valentin had a life-altering experience, and at least where Charlotte is concerned, he’s doing his best. Lulu says, when Valentin tries to come off as wise and compassionate, she starts counting the silverware. Laura says, all right. Let’s focus on the matter at hand. How are they going to tell Charlotte?

Nina hugs Charlotte, and Jax suggests he give them privacy, but Nina asks him to stay. Charlotte is growing up, and Nina thinks she can handle it. She tells Charlotte, she needs to understand that she and Jax care for one another. Charlotte says she and papa belong together, and Nina says she’ll always be Charlotte’s friend, but Jax is very important to her. He’s a good guy. Charlotte says papa is going to leave, and not fight for her anymore. He doesn’t want to see her. Jax says, of course (🍷) he wants to see her. Dads are forever.

Alexis tells Valentin, let’s just say she made a mistake. At the time, she didn’t think it was, so she tried to help someone, but might lose her law license. He says, that’s rough; he’s sorry. It’s not the end of the world though. She says, it feels like it, and he says he gets it, but she’s more than just a job. She says, when she thought they were related, she couldn’t stand him. But now that they’re not related, she almost likes him… whoever he is now. Who is he? He says he’d like to know that himself. His phone rings. It’s Nina, who asks how soon he can get to her office. He says he’s in the MetroCourt. What’s up? She says, it’s Charlotte. She’s upset, and needs her father. He asks if she’s all right, and Nina says, just get here. He tells Alexis, he has to go, and jets.

Chase says he just told Finn the whole story, and Finn says, it was a story, all right. A doozy. Chase says Finn is saying that to his face, and Finn says Chase’s face might as well have a sign that says, nice to meet you; I’m lying. There’s no way he’d cheat on Willow. Chase says he hates to let Finn down, but that’s what happened. He didn’t want to hurt Willow, but he had to face what he did. Finn says, they know he’s not the best with emotions, but he can see Chase loves Willow with all his heart, to the moon and back, and all the other clichés. Most days, Chase is a walking Valentine’s Day card, attached to a candy heart that says something embarrassing. Chase says, of course (🍷) he loves Willow, and Finn says, that’s why he’s not having an affair. Chase tells him, ask Willow. She walked in on them. Finn says, Willow saw what they wanted her to see. Why do that? Chase says, he doesn’t know, but it’s killing him inside. Finn suggests Chase drop the act, and tell him why he did the dumbest thing in his life, and pushed Willow away.

Molly tells Kristina, no more details about her love life. Kristina asks if she can offer some advice, and Molly says, no. Kristina tells her not to be so hard on herself. Molly says she gave up on TJ, but Kristina says, she’s not a bad person. Molly says, she’s a bad partner. She fell into bed with the first person who came along. Kristina says Molly isn’t psychic. For all she knew, TJ was having crazy, wild sex too. Molly asks if that’s supposed to make her feel better. Kristina says she’s trying, and Molly says she can rationalize until hell freezes over, but when it comes down to it, she knows what she has to do. She flashes back to TJ telling her, if their positions were reversed, he would have felt the same. She says he doesn’t have to be so nice to her, and he says his mom got texts she thought were from him. Of course (🍷) Molly thought he was icing her out, but they’re ok now. There’s nothing they can’t take back.

TJ asks if Sam wants to surprise Molly together, but she says she has something to discuss with Brando. TJ thanks Brando again, and leaves. Brando says, if this is about Kristina, he did his best to apologize. Sam says Kristina will forget about him like she forgot about Shiloh and DoD. He’s already given one of her sisters special treatment; isn’t it enough? She doesn’t know him, but she knows why he came there. He brought a lot of baggage, and she doesn’t want him to think he can drop it on Molly. Forget that night, and forget her. It never happened. Understood? Geez. Just a little heavy-handed.

Jax tells Charlotte, he doesn’t see Josslyn as much as he’d like, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s his daughter, or how much he loves her. There are no words to describe how much he loves her. He can guarantee Charlotte’s dad feels the same way. Charlotte asks, how? and he says, dads get a special handbook when their daughters are born, and it tells them that daughters are magical, mysterious creatures with special powers over their dads. Charlotte says, that’s not true, but he says she’ll see. Valentin comes in, and Charlotte runs to him. Jax tells Nina, call if she needs anything. Nina tells Valentin that Charlotte is afraid he doesn’t want her anymore. Valentin asks why she thinks that, and Charlotte says he doesn’t love her anymore.

Sonny tells Cyrus, he can live in Port Charles, but has to conduct his business elsewhere. He doesn’t move anything through Sonny’s territory, and doesn’t touch Sonny or his associates. Cyrus says Sonny has a large territory. That kind of deference could be expensive. Sonny says that’s not his problem, and Cyrus says, fine. Sonny has a deal. He holds out his hand, and after a beat, Sonny shakes it. Everyone gives soap opera looks at each other.

Lulu says, anything? and Laura says, Charlotte isn’t in the backyard. Lulu says she called Charlotte’s friends; where could she be? Laura says she’ll drive around the neighborhood, and Lulu says she’ll head to town. Maybe Charlotte went to Kelly’s. Nina calls, and Lulu says, it’s not a good time. Nina says, Charlotte is there at Crimson, and Lulu tells Laura, Charlotte is with Nina. Lulu asks if Charlotte is okay, and Nina says, physically, she’s fine, but she’s upset. Her father is with her. Lulu asks Nina to please keep her there; she’s on her way. She tells Laura, she has to go, and Laura asks her to tell Charlotte that she loves her.

Valentin kneels down, and asks Charlotte to listen. He loves her. How could she think he doesn’t? She says she heard her mom and grandma talking. They said he wanted to leave her. He says he could never ever want to leave her, but he doesn’t want her to make the same mistakes he did. He needs her to know the difference between right and wrong. She says she can’t learn without him. If he loves her, take her somewhere where they can be together. She knows he’s leaving. Please take her wherever he’s going. He leans his head on her, and she hugs him.

Jax sees Alexis, and she says, hey, stranger. He says it’s been too long since he’s reached out, and she says, her too. He says they have to change that. He needs her level head, and she says, it’s funny that he thinks she’s level-headed. What’s the problem? He says he left Valentin alone with Nina and Charlotte. He’s hoping it’s not a mistake. She says Valentin was there when he got a phone call, and ran off. Everything okay? He says, something is going on. He wishes he knew what it was. Charlotte was afraid Valentin was going to leave her. She says, apparently, he made a decision about his future. His life as he knew it was knocked off course, and he wants to do right by Charlotte, even if he has to suffer.

Chase says, Finn doesn’t believe him? Finn says he laid it on thicker than hot fudge at a sundae bar. Chase says he’s stubborn and a pain in the ass, and Finn says, sounds like him, but nothing Chase is saying sounds remotely like him. Chase says, if he tells Finn, promise him it will stay between them. Finn says, absolutely, as long as it’s the truth. Chase says Finn is right. He didn’t cheat on Willow. He needed her to think he did so she’d marry Michael.

Kristina says, Molly can’t leave until she tells Kristina what she’s decided to do. Molly says she’s not asking permission. It’s something she needs to do for herself. She needs to be completely honest, and tell TJ everything.

Brando tells Sam, he didn’t even know Molly had a boyfriend until afterward; not that it’s any of her business. She says he made it her business when he slept with her sister. My Lord. I’m glad my sister isn’t up my rear end like this. Brando says she’s a big girl, and they didn’t do anything she didn’t want to do. She asks what he wants, and he says, to run his garage, if she’ll let him. She says, if he tries to make trouble for Molly, he’ll be in a world of trouble with her.

Cyrus and Not-Jason go into the MetroCourt. Cyrus says, it’s nice to end the day in a place where he was unceremoniously expelled. A place he doesn’t need any permission to be. It was too easy. Sonny thinks he’ll lower his guard, and go in for the kill. Unfortunately, he doesn’t play by Sonny’s rules. Not-Jason asks where Cyrus is going to start, and Cyrus says, by getting rid of Jason.

Jason tells Sonny, Cyrus and his bodyguard are at the MetroCourt. Sonny says, he doesn’t waste time, and Jason wonders, why let him? Sonny says, it seems all cozy and soft. He’ll let Cyrus play house, and when Cyrus starts looking at Sonny out of the corner of his eye, it will be time for him to take Cyrus out.

Tomorrow, TJ walks in on Kristina and Molly talking, Nina tells Lulu to give Valentin a chance, Finn tells Chase to fix this, and Nelle wants to apologize to Willow.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi comes home, and tells Beau that she’s sorry. She’s an a-hole. She shouldn’t have gotten mad at him. It was misdirected anger. In Stassi’s interview, she says she left the wine party by herself. Lala was calling and Katie was texting, telling her that she was being ridiculous. When she got home, she realized she was the a-hole. She shows Beau some boxes of mac and cheese, and says it’s the only thing she can’t screw up. In Beau’s interview, he says he could have avoided last night’s fight if he’d told Stassi that he was proposing, but it would have ruined everything he’s been planning for the last six or seven months. He wants everything to be perfect. She asks if he still wants to go mausoleum shopping; it will be fun. He says, of course, and she says she thought he might cancel. That’s why she made the mac and cheese. She tells him, it’s death time.

At SUR, Danica shows Peter some socks she’s gotten for the softball game. She’s excited. In her interview, she says, not only will they get sweet, sweet bragging rights, but she can put Max in his place. We flash back to when he kicked her out of TomTom.

Tom pretends to use the hand-held vacuum cleaner as a laser sword. Schwartz comes by, and says he doesn’t want them to get furniture. Ariana says she’s thinking of having yoga classes at the house. Tom tells Schwartz that James is coming over to play with them. Ariana says, the big game is tomorrow. She’s playing, but she’ll be bad. In Ariana’s interview, she says she’s playing for TomTom, even though she works at SUR. She’s competitive, and Tom doesn’t want her to be on the other team. James arrives, and tells them, Raquel is playing for SUR. It’s on now. In his interview, he says he’s from London. They don’t play softball, and the closest thing they have must be cricket, but if Tom can play, he’s sure he can. They go in the backyard, and James tells them he’s been sober for nearly a month; 28 days. When he does a show, and comes off the stage, he feels all of it. In Tom’s interview, he says, James thought he had to be drunk to be James Kennedy. Now he’s a better version of himself. They practice some ball.

Beau drives to the Hollywood Cemetery. In Stassi’s interview, she says if they buy a mausoleum, Beau has to propose. It’s a gorgeous place, with a lake that has swans, and Stassi tells him, this is where they’re going to be buried. In her interview, she says it’s the perfect way to ensure Beau is committing to a lifetime and afterlifetime. Till death do us not part. She says she loves the vintage writing, and he tells her, that’s Latin. She says he’ll be glad if she dies tomorrow. He’ll be free to mourn, and live out his lonely life for the rest of his life, since he’s not going to date. In Beau’s interview, he says Stassi is in her element, and he’s terrified. His best friend Rob put the ring there. He can’t see Rob or the ring, and he’s panicking, worrying that it might have gotten stolen. It’s the beginning of their life together, and he wants to impress her. They sit on a bench, and he asks what that is on  the ground. Stassi wonders if it’s a bell for dead people, and Beau picks it up. He looks inside, but Stassi doesn’t think he should touch it.

He says he loves her so much. She literally turned his world upside down, in the best way possible. There’s nobody else he’d want to spend the rest of his life with. He asks her to marry him, and in between oh-my-Gods, she says, yes. He puts the ring on her, and they kiss. She says, we’re engaged, MF’ers. She says he told her that they wouldn’t be getting married this year, and he says she was supposed to be surprised. It’s what you’re supposed to do. He explains that the ring is a family heirloom, and she says she feels like a part of history; it’s perfect for her. In Beau’s interview, he says they’ve grown a lot as a couple. We flash back to some of their moments, and he says, there have been bad times, but that’s behind them. He’s excited thinking about the future. We flash back to Stassi telling him that she loves him more than ranch dressing. He says, now that they’re fiancés, he wonders if Stassi will get upset if he slips and calls her his girlfriend. He tells her, Lisa offered her home for a party, and she’s going to cook. Katie and Schwartz helped with the whole thing. She says that’s probably why Katie was torturing her. She calls Katie, who screams into the phone when she answers. Lala is there, and says she’s freaking TF out. They tell Stassi how hard it was to keep it from her. Stassi tells Katie, she so mean, and she was wondering why. Katie jokes that she was okay with being mean, and Stassi says she’s so happy, she can’t think straight. Everyone is thrilled. Beau tells Stassi, fiancé sounds bougie, and she says she feels bougie. Everyone is going to be jelly. It’s the best day of her life.

Lisa puts the finishing touches on the party. She tells Ken that she needs him to get ready too. Puffy! Lala and Katie get to Villa Rosa first, and Lala says she thinks it’s better than Christmas. Lisa asks if Lala is wearing anything underneath her dress, and Lala moons her in response. In Lisa’s interview, she says, Villa Rosa is not clothing optional. For the most part, when employees are at her house, she likes them to be fully dressed. News of the engagement spreads like wildfire through the restaurants, and Katie says she texted everyone after Beau proposed. In her interview, Katie says, after Beau proposed, she sent everyone a text to come to the party. Lisa asks about Kristen, and Katie explains what happened with Beau the night before. Lisa asks if Stassi would be upset if Kristen came to the party, and Katie says she would. She needs a break. Lisa says she feels sympathy toward Kristen, which isn’t her normal stance, but she introduced Stassi to Beau. Lala says she was hoping to call Kristen, and handle it. At some point, Kristen needs to look in the mirror, and ask herself what she’s doing.

Kristen teaches her dogs the stay command. They do a million times better than mine. In Kristen’s interview, she says she and Stassi used to tell each other everything, and to find out Stassi is engaged on social media sucks. Where there’s an engagement, there’s an engagement party, and there’s a pretty good chance she’s not invited. Lala calls, and Kristen says she already knows Stassi is engaged, already knows there’s a party, and already knows she’s not welcome at the party. She hopes they have fun. Lala says she knows Kristen was fully coming. Lisa knew, but then things went south last night. Kristen says just because she asked Beau if they were still friends? and Lala says, it’s a weird question. A thirty-six year old doesn’t ask if we’re still friends. He’s Stassi’s fiancé. Kristen asks if this is why Lala called, and Lala says she called to check in with Kristen, but she brought it up. Lala tells her, have a good night. After she hangs up, Lala says, so annoying.

Stassi calls her dad from the car, and says she’s engaged. He says, to who? Beau says they’ll come to New Orleans to see him soon. He asks Stassi if he should call her dad pop now. He asks if Kristen texted, but Stassi says, no. He thinks she was definitely trying to see if she should come to the party . Stassi gets it, but doesn’t want to share this moment with Kristen. In Stassi’s interview, she says she wants to celebrate this incredible day with the people she loves, who don’t stress her out. Beau says he got a text from Carter, and Stassi tells him to send it. She reads, don’t forget to thank Kristen. She made it happen, and now he and Stassi treat her like sh*t. It’s some cold-blooded sh*t. Stassi says, so her first order of business should be to text Kristen. This is why she doesn’t like them.

Everyone trickles in to the party. Literally everyone, except for Kristen. Ariana tells Schwartz, she didn’t eat all day because she was so excited about the dinner he was preparing. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, in order to make sure everyone was available, and without spoiling the surprise, he had to come up with a diversion. We see a clip of him telling Tom and Ariana about a seven-course dinner that he’s making, to stimulate the senses. Ariana says, it’s not happening, is it? Tom says he’s never trusting Schwartz again. He said they were getting individual iron skillets. Schwartz says he doesn’t know why he was so specific; it was unnecessary. In Lisa’s interview, Lisa says Stassi now knows about the party, but she doesn’t know her family is surprising her. She has Mark, Dana, Nikolai, and some others hide. Stassi and Beau arrive, and Stassi shows Lisa the ring. Lisa says, it’s beautiful. Beau did a good job; better than she could imagine. Lisa knows it’s a lot to take in. She tells Stassi, the big surprise is about to get better, and her family comes out. In Stassi’s interview, she says to see her whole family there, she’s shook. Her dad lives in New Orleans, and her mom lives in Arrowhead. It’s rare to have her whole family together at once. It couldn’t be more special. Beau says, no more lies; that’s it. Stassi cries, while hugging everyone. In Katie’s interview, she says, Stassi looks so happy; it’s so incredible. But she thought, where’s Stassi’s other outfit? She told her to wear something else; her ghost outfit. The favorite dress you want to wear as a ghost. Ooh, I like that idea. She tells Stassi that she had anxiety about the ring bouncing around. Lisa asks, who’s hungry? and tells them to sit for dinner. She leads Stassi to the head of the table – Puffy! – and says she doesn’t know how this happened; her waiting on Stassi. It’s a one-time thing. The service Stassi should have given the customers over the years. In Brittany’s interview, she says Jax put together a beautiful party after their engagement. A surprise at her apartment was cool and all, but if he’d had the party at Villa Rosa, she would have been fine with that. Stassi feels like it’s sci/fi; everything is coming over her. Lisa tells her, don’t turn into a bridezilla.

Lisa tells Stassi and Beau to love each other, and treat each other with the utmost respect. It’s worth it. Ariana tells Tom, she’s sitting next to Kristen’s empty seat. It’s like the ghost of Kristen is haunting the dinner table. In her interview, she says she can feel Kristen’s energy. She can’t hear, and she’s complaining about her tiny ear drums. It’s hard not to miss her. Jax feels like Carter sent the text to get brownie points with Kristen. In his interview, he says he sees through that bullsh*t. Scheana asks Nikolai what he thinks of Beau, and Nikolai says he’s good for Stassi. Scheana says she can’t believe how much he’s grown, and starts to creep me out. She asks if he has a girlfriend, but he says, no. She says, what about when he gets to high school? and he says, probably. In Scheana’s interview, she says, twenty-one is the youngest she’ll hook up with. She doesn’t want to date any younger. Please don’t tell me the thought was even in her head. Consider me officially creeped out. He’s like fifteen. Beau and Stassi stroll the grounds, and Beau points out the lemon trees, and the swans. Stassi says it’s the happiest day of her life, and he says, his too. She says they have so much to look forward to. This will be theirs one day. In her interview, Stassi says it makes her gag when she hears it, but she truly is the luckiest girl in the world. She’s so happy. She thanks Beau.

Brett goes out for his break. The girls are outside, and Charli says she’s never had the pasta there. Dayna says, don’t; it’s a slippery slope. Charli says she barely tried the spaghetti at Olive Garden. I have news for her, Olive Garden and SUR are worlds apart. Brett comes out, and Raquel and Charli get up. He asks if he smells, and Raquel says if he’s on break, that means they have to go back. When they’re alone, Dayna tells him that she wishes she’d met him before she met Max. Max is a kid, and she and Brett have deep conversations. In Dayna’s interview, she says, Brett is an effing man. When Max would hug her, she felt like she might break his arms. She says Max will always need something new and shiny. She would have been in his rear view in five minutes. He’s going to run out of women to date, since he’s been overfishing. In Brett’s interview, he says Dayna wants commitment, and Max is scratching the surface of being a sex addict. He tells Dayna, he’s hitting a home run tomorrow.

Stassi wonders if the dogs know she and Beau are engaged. She tells him that she was thinking about a small, intimate, romantic wedding in Italy. He can’t believe she’s already thinking about it, and she says, Italy is romantic and fun, the food is great, and she loves the people and the atmosphere. She loves everything about it. He asks if she doesn’t want to enjoy this part, and she says, part of enjoying this part is the planning. In her interview, she says once she got the ring, she turned into a terrorist. The world is her effing oyster because of this. She shows us the ring. She tells Beau that he doesn’t have to help her plan it. She doesn’t want him to worry his pretty head. He asks who is she? and she says she’s a bride demon. It’s going to be exciting.

Jax brings his lawn mower to Kristen’s house. In his interview, he says he enjoys cutting the grass. It’s therapeutic. He cuts his own grass, his neighbor’s grass, the grass of people who don’t know who he is. It reminds him of his dad showing him how to do it. Brittany tells Kristen, Jax brought the lawn mower, the weed whacker, and the leaf blower. He informs us that Kristen has Kentucky bluegrass. Brittany asks if Kristen is okay about yesterday, and Kristen says, no. She didn’t want to see anyone. Carter picked up the dogs. She doesn’t want them to be around her when she’s sad. In Kristen’s interview, she says they’re her emotional support animals, but she thinks it bums them out if she’s not playing with them, and just in bed crying. She tells Brittany, she wishes someone had called her first. Lala went off on her, and she was crying, and called Carter. Brittany tells her that Carter texted Beau. Jax comes in, and Brittany tells him to read the text. In her interview, Kristen says, Carter is the one person to stand up for her. She swooned a little bit (what? who says that?), but the timing is a bit poor. Brittany says it’s not Kristen’s fault, but Kristen says it will end up being her fault like everything else. Does she ever watch herself on this show?

The SUR and TomTom teams warm up on the ballfield. Katie tells Schwartz, she doesn’t enjoy softball. She doesn’t like balls flying at her. In her interview, Katie says, she’s being a good wife. This is what you do when you’re married; play softball. In Tom’s interview, he says, team TomTom is ready. He’s the most experienced captain, they have the most experienced players, and DJ James Kennedy. He feels good about their chances. He chose black for their uniforms, because it hides dirt, it’s slimming, and looks good. SUR chose it for the same reasons. In Danica’s interview, she says, they’re taking TomTom TF down. She and Brett are team captains, and SUR is super athletic. They’re not cleaning TomTom’s damn bathroom. Lisa says, let’s get the game started. They’re playing nice, right? They say, no, and in Lisa’s interview, she says she’s on board with team building exercises. Not so much their extracurricular activities. If they hit a home run, let them do it on the field rather than the bedroom.

In her interview, Scheana says she’s been playing baseball since she was seven, and continued through high school. Her great aunt Shirley was in the Rockford Peaches, the team that A League of Their Own was based on. And she can pitch with these nails just fine. James sits next to Katie, and says he was surprised he was invited. She says, her too, and he says he hasn’t been drinking for a month. He’s been going to meetings, and working to change his attitude on life. Part of that is how he’s treating people, and how disgusting he was. In James’s interview, he says, the steps are part of his sobriety, and making amends to people he’s wronged. Katie is pretty high on the list. We flash back to several examples of that. She asks if this is the last apology, and he says, it really is. She says she appreciates it. In Katie’s interview, she says, she’s not cold-blooded. She feels he’s spent time thinking about the things he’s said and done, so she accepts it. She tells him that she’s proud of him.

In Charli’s interview, she says she played softball through high school, and she’s competitive. Probably because she didn’t have a dad. Just kidding. Hmm… that’s actually not all that funny, and makes me wonder about her. Brett says he’s going to make Lisa proud, and she says he doesn’t need to impress her. Brittany laughs about Katie eating sunflower seeds and drinking soda out on the field. Jax calls Tom a big baby, and in his interview, says, there’s no way Tom knows enough about softball to be the rules police. If he wanted bronzer for his calves, Tom would be the one to ask, but he doesn’t know anything about softball. He yells that he wouldn’t trade Raquel for Tom. No offense. Raquel says he hasn’t even seen her play. In her interview, Raquel says, you don’t know what competitive means until you’re in the pageant circuit.

Raquel gets a home run, and Tom says they can still make a comeback. SUR wins, and they chant, clean our bathroom. In Tom’s interview, he says, it’s going to suck cleaning their toilet. Schwartz says the joke’s on them. He likes cleaning bathrooms.

Next time, Brett feels violated after being in Scheana’s music video, Jax tells Kristen that she’s angry all the time, Kristen says Jax is delusional, and Brittany doesn’t want Jax circling back to his old ways.

😳 I’m Not Alone…

Apparently, Scheana creeped out a few people.


If Loving You Is Wrong

Ian visits Lushion’s office, and says they have to talk. The DA came to see Larry. She said Carl called, and claimed he had information that could exonerate Kelly. Lushion asks if that isn’t what he’s supposed to do, and Ian says, Larry needs to know exactly what it is, but Carl isn’t answering his phone. Lushion asks what the problem is with Carl doing what he’s supposed to. Ian says, if he brags, it could be bad for Kelly. He’ll check the courthouse. He tells Lushion, if he finds Carl, let him know. Lushion says he has to talk to Ian about something else, but now isn’t the right time. Ian says, now he’s curious, and Lushion says, Ian and Alex. Ian says, what about them?

Ian doesn’t know what Lushion is talking about. He starts to leave, but comes back. He asks why Lushion was asking about him and Alex. Did she talk to him? Lushion looks at the floor. Ian asks if she filed a complaint, and says he knew it. He swears it was consensual sex; she’s way off her rocker. Lushion has to believe him. He asks if she’s saying he raped her, and Lushion says, just tell him what happened. Ian says Alex came over and got drunk. The next morning, she said he took advantage of her, and drugged her. Lushion says, did he? and Ian says, no. She finally remembered that she came on to him. Lushion has to believe him. Lushion says he does, and Ian asks if he’s getting arrested. Lushion says, no. Alex didn’t come in there. Ian asks why he said all this, and Lushion says Ian volunteered the information. Ian says, that’s low down, and Lushion says, Ian does it every day in court. If Ian thinks she might press charges, they should talk about it. He’s the only one who’s got Ian; he saw him having sex on the stairs with Alex through the window. She was fully engaged, and didn’t look out of it. Ian thanks Lushion, and suggests he talk to Alex, but Lushion says she has to come to him. Relax. Go find Carl. Ian thanks Lushion again, and leaves.

Marcie tells Brad, it might not be the worst thing. This way, he can raise his kids. He says she can’t be serious. There’s no way Alex would walk out on the kids. Marcie says he didn’t think she was this person either. He needs to talk to a lawyer immediately. She knows he can get custody with her acting like this. He’ll have to call Larry. He’s a weirdo, but he’s a good lawyer. He asks if Ian isn’t her boyfriend, and she says, apparently, he’s Alex’s. She says she can stay there, and have someone else show the house, but he says, that’s okay. He’ll stay with the baby. She says, it’s been a lot. He didn’t know who the father was, and had thought it was his kid. He says that won’t stop him from helping an innocent baby, and she says that’s why she loves him. He’s a good man. He says he loves her too. Go to work; sell the house. She leaves, and he sits back. The baby cries.

As Marcie crosses the street to her car, Randal says, hey there. She says, damn. He needs a job. He asks if she’s living there with Brad, and calls her a slut. She says, that would be his mistress. Did he see what was online? How does it make him feel? He says, glad he’s not with Marcie, and she says she’s got a wedding to plan. He laughs, and she says, it’s happening. He promises she’ll never walk down the aisle. She asks if that’s a threat, and he says she knows it is. She says he doesn’t scare her, but he says he thinks he does. She slaps his forehead, and asks if she looks scared. He says, they’re assaulting each other? and she says, please do. He says he’s got her, and she says, not anymore. Brad’s got her now. Come on. Hit her, so she can scream Brad’s name, like she does every night. It’s too much for him to handle. He says he’s way better at this than she is, and she says she’s going to have a baby; the one he thought was his. Wouldn’t it be funny if she and Brad raised the baby together? That crazy bitch left. She said Brad could have the kids. He laughs, and she asks if he thinks it’s funny. He says, very funny. See how crazy he made her ass? He says he’ll see her soon, and she says, every day she’ll be there. She drives away.

Dr. Raston says she wasn’t expecting to see Alex. Is she okay? Alex says, no and yes, and the doctor asks, what’s going on? Alex says she needs to get birth control pills, and she wants to schedule a tubal ligation. Dr. Raston says, she’s done with kids? and Alex says, yeah; all of them. She left Brad, and she’s giving him the kids. The doctor asks, what about the baby? and Alex says, him too. Dr. Raston asks if she’s been drinking, and Alex says, everything she can get her hands on. The doctor asks if they can talk, and Alex says, about birth control? The doctor says, first, why does Alex need them? Alex says, so she can live her life, and be free in the moment. Dr. Raston says, they won’t protect her from HIV or STDs, but Alex says she can get condoms. Dr. Raston tells her to slow down; she’s worried. Alex says she’s fine. Give her what she needs, and she can go. The doctor tells her, wait there.

In the hallway, Dr. Raston calls Brad. She asks if everything is okay; Alex is there. She knows things are difficult, but Alex isn’t herself. He says, that’s who Alex is. Did Alex tells her that she’s been online, dating lots of different men? The doctor says she didn’t know that, and he says the Alex in front of her is the real Alex. He’s been dealing with a liar and an imposter for some time, and doesn’t want to deal with it right now. The doctor apologizes, and goes back into the examining room. She gives Alex a sample card of pills from the case, and Alex says, if they were there the whole time, why did she have to leave? Did she need to call Brad? Dr. Raston says she’s concerned, but Alex says she shouldn’t be. He doesn’t care anyway. The doctor asks if she can call Alex, and Alex says she can try.

Alex sees two guys coming into the waiting room, one supporting the other. She asks, what happened? and the limping guy says he was in a fight with a bull. He got roughed up. She says it sounds like the place she wants to be, and he tells her to go to the cowboy bar on Highway 65. She says, maybe she’ll go there right now, and he says when he gets patched up, he can bring her. She says, how about if she meets him there? He looks good in those jeans. He’s her kind of man. He asks, what kind is that? and she says, a man.

Ian goes into Larry’s office, and Larry asks if he found Carl. Ian says, not yet, and Larry says, Carl is a public defender; it’s not that hard. Ian says he’s on it, and asks, what’s going on? Larry says he’s hearing things about the Cain case. If he’s not mistaken, Ian was helping Kelly before. Ian says his loyalty is to the firm. Is Larry questioning that? Is he questioning Ian’s integrity? Larry says, Ian is a lawyer. He has no integrity. He hopes he doesn’t find out Ian is lying. Ian asks if Larry is threatening him, and Larry says he is. That’s all for now.

Alex goes to the cowboy bar, where apparently, they serve drinks in Solo cups. She tells the bartender that she’s divorced, and needs another drink. He asks if she wants his special. It’s called, I just got divorced. She asks if he wants to do a shot with her, and he says he’s working. She says, come on, and he says he guesses the boss won’t mind too much. She tells him, make her two. Tiny Solo cups! I’ve never seen those before. They do the shots, and she gives him a credit card, telling him put everything on there. It’s her ex-husband’s; he doesn’t know she has it. He says, how about champagne? and she says, okay. Champagne for everybody. He says, there are only about nine people, but hey, and she says, champagne and a round of drinks. She asks if the mechanical bull works; she wants to ride It. He asks if she knows how, and she says, sure. He asks if she likes riding, and she says she loves it. Stop flirting with her. He says he’s not, and she says he is cute. He thanks her, and she says she has a friend she thinks he’s going to like; a gorgeous Latin girl, Esperanza. She’s going to call her. Maybe they can ride the bull together, but first, shots.

Randal sits all pissed off, looking at his phone and his laptop. He closes the laptop, and says, you think you’re slick. Got you, bitch. He makes a call.

The bartender asks Alex what they’re cheersing to, and she says her divorce. They do a shot, and her phone rings. She laughs, and says, perfect timing. Randal says she was a whore online, screwing all these guys. She says, they swiped right, or left. Whatever; they swiped. He asks if she’s drunk, and she says, yep. She says they need to talk, and he asks, what’s wrong with her? She tells him that he needs to get a sling; it’s going to help him a lot. He says she’s drunk as hell. What is she talking about? She says she’s just trying to help, so he won’t be so curved. His little member is like a little banana. It’s not that fun, to be honest. I nearly die laughing. She doesn’t understand. Is that normal? She asks the bartender if he’s curved, and he says he’s whatever she wants him to be. She tells Randal, in all seriousness, they need to talk. She never loved him. He tells her, that’s not what she said in the shed. She says, the shed. That was just for fun, like the others. He asks, how many? and she says, a lot. He asks where she is, and she says, at the cowboy bar. It’s so fun. He tells her, stay there; he’s coming down. She says, good. Bring his wallet. She just had a brilliant idea. Invent a curved condom. He’d make so much money. He says he’ll see her later, and she calls Esperanza.

Alex asks where Esperanza is, and Esperanza says, at work. Alex says, guess where she is? and Esperanza says she doesn’t know, but it’s loud. Alex says she’s at the cowboy bar, and she’s going to ride a mechanical bull. Esperanza asks if she’s drunk, and why is she at a bar in the middle of the afternoon? Alex says she’s about to ride the bull like nobody’s business, and hangs up. Steven asks, what’s up? and Esperanza says, Alex. She’s at a bar, drunk. Steven says, in the middle of the day? It’s a little strange. Esperanza asks if Eddie is out, and he says, yeah, but it’s okay. He’s there. She calls Natalie.

Natalie is sweeping up at the burger place. Esperanza asks if she’s talked to Alex, but she says, no. Esperanza says, Alex called her, drunk at a bar. Natalie says, she’s going through it, girl. She signed the divorce papers. Esperanza says, that would explain a lot. She didn’t sound good. She’s going over there to check on Alex. Natalie says, pick her up, and she’ll go with her. Esperanza says she’ll see Steven later.

Kelly calls for Lushion from her cell. Steven comes by, and Kelly says, Eddie took her Bible. He doesn’t understand, and she tells him to get Lushion. Please. She needs him right now. He says, okay; relax. He’ll get Lushion. He tells Lushion, Kelly needs to talk to him. She’s yelling about Eddie stealing her Bible. Lushion jumps up, and goes to Kelly’s cell. Kelly is crying, and says Eddie took her bible. Lushion asks, how? and she says, he came into her cell. She sobs, and he tells her that he’ll take care of it. Man, I need a Lushion in my life.

Alex rides the bull, which isn’t exactly on high speed. Natalie and Esperanza come in, and Esperanza tells her, come down. She says, Johnny, a round of drinks, but Esperanza says, no drinks. They help Alex down, and she hugs them. She says she’s drunk, and Natalie says they know that. Alex says Johnny is giving her a job; she’s going to be a waitress. Natalie says, she needs a job? and Alex says, now that she’s divorced, she needs to be free. Natalie says, she can’t be too free. She’s got kids. Alex says, pfft! Brad will take care of the kids, and Esperanza says she’s just going to give Brad custody? Alex says, yeah, but Esperanza says she doesn’t mean that. Alex says she does, and Esperanza says they have to get her home. Alex says, her home is with him. Johnny smiles, and Alex says, he lives upstairs. She’s spent her whole life doing what everyone else wanted. Now it’s her turn. She’s had enough. Esperanza tells her, look at herself, and Alex says, she’s happy for once? Esperanza says she looks miserable, but Alex says she feels happy, and she’s not going anywhere. Esperanza says she has a family; she has to go back. Natalie says, divorce is hard. When she sobers up, she’ll see what she was thinking. Alex says, no she won’t, and Natalie says she has three kids who love and need her, but Alex says Brad is a better person and parent than she could be. He  never cheated; not once. He’s going raise them right. She doesn’t deserve them. Esperanza asks if this is about guilt, and Alex says, no. Natalie asks what it is then, and Alex asks if Natalie knows how many men she’s been with. More than Esperanza, and that’s a lot. Esperanza is like, hey, and Alex says, they all know. She’s not going back to that life. She’s going to stay there with the tall sexy cowboy. She’s going to get a job and live there, and be a waitress. Natalie says, they’re going, and Esperanza says, all right. She gives up. Natalie says Alex has their numbers. Alex says, at least ride the bull once. Fire this puppy up. Alex gets on the bull again, and Esperanza asks, what if she hurts herself? and Natalie says she can’t stay there forever. They head for the door, and Alex yells, yeehaw, bitches!

On the phone, Lushion tells Rick, he’ll see him at three. He goes into the locker room, and Eddie is there. Lushion asks where the Bible is, and Eddie says, what he calls contraband? Lushion says, dammit, Eddie, and Eddie says, watch out. God is going to get him. He doesn’t know what Lushion is talking about. Lushion slams Eddie up against the lockers, and Eddie says, there’s the Lushion he knows. He says it’s in his locker, and Lushion says, get it. Eddie gives Lushion the Bible, and Lushion flips through it. No surprise, the photos are no longer there. Lushion asks where the pictures are, and Eddie says he flushed them. Does Lushion need them for something? Lushion says he’ll see Eddie back at the station. When he’s gone, Eddie makes a call, and asks for sugar britches. He gets silence, and says, sweet t*ts? The operator says, there’s no one here by that name, and he says, Larry. Put that little lady on the phone.

Larry’s secretary says, a very rude man is on the phone for him, and Larry says, what else is new? She tells him, he said his name was Eddie, and Larry says, it makes perfect sense. Put him through. He asks what he can do for Eddie, and Eddie says, get $200K from the good reverend. He has information about some women he might find interesting. Larry doesn’t think it’s a good idea to have this conversation on the phone, and Eddie says he’ll come there. Larry says, make his day, and Eddie says he’d better have the money. Larry says Eddie will have to show what he has first, and Eddie says he’s on his way. Larry tells him, wear something low cut and tight. He’ll see Eddie soon. Eddie hangs up, and says, freaky mother better have my money.

Brad calls babysitter Chelsea, and leaves a message. He thanks her for staying late, and apologizes. He says he was wondering if she’s free this afternoon around three, and to call him back. He looks in the crib and says, the baby is sleeping; good. He has no idea all this craziness is around him. He touches the baby, and says, he’s not breathing. He leans in, and says, breathe, breathe, breathe.

Next time, Brad tells Natalie and Esperanza, the baby isn’t breathing; Eddie brings the pictures to Larry; Kelly feels like a caged animal; Randal shows up at the cowboy bar, and Johnny draws a gun on him.

🤸🏻‍♀️  Hanging In(side)…

Another long night under my belt, and another day of self-isolation under (almost) everyone’s belt. An expanding belt if we all don’t lay off those cookies/pies/mashed potatoes/whatever your comfort food is. I hope you’ve been using the time wisely, like binge watching the early seasons of Below Deck or learning how to make the perfect Pinterest fail. While not much changed for me, I’ll be glad to see paper towels again. Stay safe, stay chill, and if you see something, say something. Oh, wait. Wrong crisis.

October 30, 2019 – The MetroCourt Hosts a Halloween Party, My Excuse, LeeAnne’s Wedding Begins, Back Channel, Baby/Cat Convo, It’s Everywhere & Going With the Flow


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

The Halloween party has started at the MetroCourt. Dressed as Cruella de Vil checks her purse for her gun. Laura startles her. I’m not sure what Laura is, either a queen of some kind or the Virgin Mary. Sasha – some kind of version of Wonder Woman? – and Michael – a combination of Jon Snow and Aquaman – come in, and Sasha wonders if it’s a good idea. She’s the town pariah. Michael says she’s his pariah. She made a mistake. She says it was a big one, but he says she owned up to it and apologized repeatedly. Give him one good reason why she shouldn’t enjoy herself. She sees Valentin and Nina walk in as Cleopatra and Marc Antony.

Captain America TJ joins Jordan and Curtis, who’s dressed as Sherlock Holmes. Jordan – I have no idea who she’s supposed to be, but she looks hot – is glad TJ put the books down. She asks where Molly is, and Molly says she had to stop by the apartment first.

Elizabeth straightens up the living room. She looks at a family photo with Franco in it. Cameron comes down, and she says she was just cleaning up the Halloween tornado his brothers left. Cameron asks how she does that; act like everything is okay. He gets her doing it with Jake and Aiden, but not him. He gets how much it hurts. They hug.

Finn tells Violet about Roxie. He says, she likes to eat orchids, and they both go, eww! He says maybe they shouldn’t knock it until they’ve tried it. She asks if she can meet Roxie, and he says nothing would make him happier.

Jason tells Carly that Avery couldn’t wait to go trick-or-treating. She says, thank God for Brad and Lucas, and he says her cousin Rocco couldn’t wait to show her the ropes. Carly is sure he’ll be helping her eat the candy, and Jason says, that too. She tells him, Donna is asleep, and they have an hour before she’s screaming for food. He asks how she’s doing, and she says, tired, but happy her little girl is thriving. How about him? How’s Sam? He says, she’s not doing that great. She opted for a bench trial. Diane gave her the options, but she chose it because it has a quicker turnaround. Carly says, and no jury, and he says, no Dawn of Day members can be selected. Which I think would recuse them anyway, but okay. Carly says she knows how hard it is, and he says, it will be okay, but Alexis is having a hard time.

Molly, dressed as Ruth Bader Ginsburg, stops by Alexis’s place. She knocks, but there’s no answer. She sees the lights are on, and knocks again. We see Alexis passed out on the couch, and she knocks louder.

Carly says, let her guess. Alexis wanted to defend Sam, but she went with Diane. Alexis doesn’t want to make it more stressful, so she’s hanging back, but privately prepping the case in her living room. Jason says, yes to all of it. He agrees Diane is the better choice, and thinks Alexis sees where Sam is coming from. Carly says, but it’s hard to relinquish control when it’s your own kid. She thinks Jason should go to the party in a superhero costume, but he says she knows how he doesn’t like to dress for Halloween. She begs him to do it for her. Josslyn comes running downstairs, and says she can’t find the watch Oscar gave her. She thinks she lost it.

Trina shows up at Elizabeth’s house, carrying a garment bag. She sees Cameron isn’t dressed up, and says she had a feeling that he’d bag the dance. She figured her and Josslyn could throw something together at Josslyn’s place. Cameron says he’s in, unless Elizabeth would rather he stay home. It’s not a big deal. Elizabeth tells him to go. She has to work anyway, and tells him to go have fun with his friends. Trina tells him, let’s go. She’s glad he’s coming. She wasn’t sure if he was up for it.

Finn tells Violet that people think he’s weird because he had a bearded dragon for a friend. She’s really cool when you get to know her; she’s the best listener. Hayden comes in, and notices a bar of chocolate on the bed. Violet says Finn brought it, and he thanks her for selling him out. He tells Hayden that he just gave Violet one piece. Okay, two. Violet is stuck there on Halloween. Hayden thanks him, and asks Violet if she said thank you. Just because we’re sick doesn’t mean we forget our manners. Finn says she thanked with her killer smile. He says he’ll come back and see her soon, Hayden gives Violet her phone, and says, just one show. If her eyes get heavy, let herself sleep.

Out in the hallway, Hayden asks if Finn has heard from Dr. Mulvari. Is Violet going to be okay? He says he did hear back.

Ava asks if Laura makes a habit of startling people. Laura tells her, she just wanted to say hello. She wasn’t sure Ava was going to come. Ava says it’s for a good cause; she wanted to contribute. Laura says last year was horrific, but Ava would rather not talk about Ryan. Is there an open bar? Laura tells her to knock herself out.

Valentin says, who needs a costume party? and wants to go, but Nina says, like hell. She’s not leaving a party for a worthy cause. Just stay close. Valentin says, always.

Molly knocks more fervently, but still no answer. She opens the door with her key, and sees Alexis. She says, oh my God, and shakes her. She tells Alexis to wake up, but gets no reaction.

Josslyn tells Carly that she asked everyone. She even checked Avery’s room, but it’s nowhere. She lost it. Carly says Josslyn doesn’t know that. it could have slipped behind the dresser, or be in a pocket. Josslyn says, no. She lost it. She took it off at the exhibition match. She was worried it might get broken, so she put it in her backpack, but didn’t zip it up. She was so caught up in the game, she completely forgot. Carly says they’ll drive to Mayfair tomorrow, and check the lost and found. Or it could be in the gym. Josslyn says, the match was on Monday, three days ago. She lost the watch Oscar gave her, and didn’t even miss it.

TJ says it’s an awkward moment, and Curtis says he knows that. He’s in the same family. TJ asks if Jordan still has the engagement ring his dad gave her. She says she still has it; why? Curtis says, TJ is thinking of asking Molly to marry him.   

Alexis finally wakes up, and Molly says, thank God. Alexis asks what she’s doing there, and why does Molly look like Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Molly says she’s been trying to get ahold of Alexis all day, but she didn’t answer her phone or Molly’s texts. Her office said she wasn’t in, so Molly got worried. Alexis sits up, obviously still groggy. She says, it hurts, and asks, what time is it? Molly says she’s really sorry, but she has to ask. Has Alexis been drinking? Alexis says, no. No alcohol has touched her lips. Molly asks, what happened? but Alexis doesn’t know. She didn’t feel well. Neil brought food over, and she was obviously not feeling well, since she sent him home. She says she’ll be fine, but needs coffee. Molly says what she needs is to go to the hospital, and that’s where Molly is taking her.

Finn tells Hayden that Violet will make a full recovery. She’ll be fine. He’d still like to keep her for observation, and Hayden says, whatever he thinks is best. She tells him, she’s so grateful, but he says he didn’t do anything. She says he’s been amzing with Violet. She didn’t know… He says, how he’d be with his own daughter? He imagined it, but seeing her in person is a different story. He takes Hayden aside, and says he’s still having a hard time understanding why she kept Violet from him for so long. He asks if she would do it the same again, but she’s not so sure. If she could go back and tell him… She doesn’t know. Finn says, the only thing that matters is, Violet will recover. They’ll talk when she’s out of the hospital. Hayden asks what that’s going to look like, now that he knows about Violet. He says he’ll be in it for life .

Carly explains to Jason that when Oscar was still well enough to go anywhere, he took Josslyn to the footbridge, and gave her the watch. He’d heard a legend that when the time was at 11:11, he could reach out after death and she would feel it. Jason says he can go to Mayfair and take a look around, but Carly says, they’re closed now, and the gym is locked. It’s not worth it. Even if the watch was there, what really has Josslyn upset is that it was three days before she noticed it was gone. Jason says, she doesn’t know how to act in the situation, which is a good thing. Carly says, Josslyn is getting on with life. It’s what Carly wanted, but not this way. She wanted Josslyn to take off the watch when she was ready. In losing it, she feels guilty and like she’s betraying Oscar.

Laura tells Jax, dressed as Mr. Incredible, happy Halloween. He says, it’s better than last year, and she says, anything would be better than last year. Doc is sitting this one out, and she can’t blame him. She knows they’re off the clock, but she wants to fill him in on the brainstorm she and Curtis had. When Helena said she kept the codicil close, maybe it wasn’t physically close. Maybe she meant close to her likeness. Jax asks if she means it might be part of the portrait itself.

Hayden tells Finn she knows she messed up. That’s not the right word. He says, that’s two words, and she says, it’s unconscionable. She was hoping… Elizabeth sees her, and says she was trying to reach Hayden last night. Where has she been? Hayden says, something crazy came up, and Finn says they have a lot to talk about. He and Hayden will finish their conversation later. Elizabeth wonders what that’s about.

Nina wants more champagne, and takes Valentin to the bar. Sasha and Michael are there, and Nina says she thought Michael would be interested that she received a call from the DA. He’s reviewing her testimony. The case against Cassandra has to be airtight, since their star witness is now unreliable. Sasha says she’s so sorry, but Nina says, there’s no apology necessary. She just wants Sasha to know, if that bitch goes free, Nina is holding her personally responsible. She drags Valentin away.

Cameron and Trina get to Sonny’s, and Cameron asks Josslyn, her too? Did she think he’d bail. Josslyn admits it crossed her mind, but she’s glad he’s there. She sees he has no costume, and Trina says he’s a typical guy, and expects them to dress him up. Trina goes upstairs to check on Dev’s costume. Cameron says he’s fine, but Josslyn says she knows he’s hurting, and the last thing he feels like doing is getting dressed up. Cameron says, actually, he’s fired up. For real. If he didn’t go, he’d be sitting at home by himself, with his life in a dumpster fire. He thinks he can find a way to make it fun. He goes into the living room, where Carly is on the couch. She says she’s been thinking about him and his family. How’s he doing? He says, it helps having great friends, but obviously, it’s hard. Josslyn and Trina come down, and Josslyn asks if he’s ready, and Cameron says, just one second. He goes out on the terrace, where he sees Jason. He asks if Jason has a second, and Jason asks, what’s up? Cameron says he owes Jason an apology.

Cameron says he jumped down Jason’s throat, and he shouldn’t have. He’s sorry. Jason says she doesn’t need to apologize. Cameron says he wanted this for his mom, and he thought his testimony would do that; make the judge see the real Franco wants to come back. Jason say the judge understood, and Cameron says, not enough. What he said should have been more clear, or better. Jason says she knows the truth, but it doesn’t matter what anyone said. What mattered is what Doc said. it’s great that she heard them, but in the end, it didn’t tip the scales. It couldn’t. He’s sorry. Cameron asks what he does now. How does he cut himself off from this crappy feeling? Just say, this is it what the judge decided? Jason says he can tell himself that when all was said and done, the judge gave the choice to Franco. Cameron says, he’s not Franco, and Jason says, whoever that man is, can make the choice. They don’t have to like it – they can hate it – but they can’t change it. Cameron has two choices. He can walk around angry all the time, or learn to live with it, and help the people he loves pick up the pieces. Jason goes back inside.

Elizabeth can’t believe Hayden had a daughter. They look through the window at Violet. Hayden says, Elizabeth’s niece. Elizabeth asks why Hayden didn’t tell her, but Hayden says she doesn’t know. She lied so much, it felt like she couldn’t tell the truth. She’s sorry. Elizabeth says, she’s beautiful, and helluva surprise. Hayden says, that’s what the consensus seems to be. She has a lot of regrets about the choices she’s made, but the truth is out now. Violet is here, and she’s the most fun Hayden has ever had.

Molly brings Alexis to the hospital. Alexis says she’s sure it’s just the flu. Molly says, maybe, but she still wants Alexis checked out. Finn comes out, and asks if everything is okay. Molly says, no, and Alexis says, yeah. He says, cleared that up. Alexis thought Finn went out of his way not to be there on Halloween, but he says he has a special case. He asks, what’s going on? and Alexis says she feels out of it. Molly says she’s been sick for 24-hours, and passed out. She had to shake Alexis awake. She’s worried. Alexis says she’s been prepping Sam’s case, and Finn asks if Alexis is her lawyer. Molly says, no, and Alexis says she’s been working out a lot, and feels run down. Finn says they’ll find out for sure, and they go to an examining room.

Curtis asks if he’s right. Is TJ going to pop the question. TJ  tells him, relax. He’s thinking about it. Curtis says it must be serious if he’s asking about a ring, and laying the groundwork. TJ says, Molly will want something with sentimental value, and a family heirloom is perfect. Curtis asks, when? and TJ says he’s just thinking about it. He just knows that Molly is the person he wants to be with forever. Curtis tells him, congratulations. He’s making grown man moves. Why is he getting the vibe Jordan isn’t into it? Jordan says, because she’s not.

Laura tells Jax that they could be wrong, but Helena left Nikolas the painting knowing Valentin was out there. She thinks Helena armed Nikolas with something that would neutralize Valentin. Jax says, so she thinks it’s part of the painting itself, and she says, in the frame, or underneath. The real problem is that Valentin disposed of it, and they have no idea where it is. Valentin comes by, and asks if she’s still talking about that. Why is she obsessed with the portrait of Helena?

Valentin say, after everything Helena has done to Laura and her family, he thought she’d be thrilled he got rid of the painting. Laura says, Helena left Nikolas the portrait, and it belongs to Spencer – the rightful heir. Nina says Spencer had told her about everything he claimed Valentin stole, but never once said anything about the portrait. If he cared, he would have said something. Laura says Spencer had a fondness for his late grandmother, but that wouldn’t matter to Valentin, would it? She walks away.

At Sonny’s, Cameron pours liquor into a soda bottle when no one is looking.

Elizabeth tells Hayden, you love your kids so much, you want to make it right, but you know you can’t. Hayden says Elizabeth is the best mom. Elizabeth assumes Finn knows. What does it mean for the two of them? Hayden says, it’s not about them; it’s about Finn and Violet. It’s not fair that she dumped a new reality in his lap, and Elizabeth asks if Finn has had any contact with Violet. Hayden says, Violet only knows him as a doctor, but they’ve talked a little, and Finn snuck her in some chocolate. It’s insane. From the minute she found out she was pregnant, she dreamed about Finn and their child. Now she’s finally seen it. Elizabeth says, and? Hayden says, he was perfect.

Alexis tells Finn that she thought she was tired from her workout, but it moved to her stomach. Finn says, nausea, but she says, pain. Molly says she got sick on the way over. He says he’ll get her set up with an IV. She wonders if it’s the flu, and he asks if she’s gotten a shot. She says it’s October, and he tells her it’s the time of year they suggest getting vaccinated. Molly says she’s running late, and starts to leave. Finn tells her to set up a flu shot appointment before she goes, and she says she already got one. Okay, okay. We get it. They want us to get our flu shots. Alexis says, of course (🍷). She wants to be Molly when she grows up. Finn notices a rash on her palms, and asks how long she’s had it, but she doesn’t know.

TJ says he thought Jordan liked Molly. She says she does. Molly is everything she’d want for him in a partner, and she’s practically family. He asks, what’s the problem? and she says they’ve been together since high school. He’s never dated anyone else. He says he didn’t want to, and they’ve proven it will last. She says they come from the same town, and both go to a local college. Has he considered that he’s limiting his options? He asks if Jordan wants him to date other people, and she says she thinks they should both explore more of life before making a lifetime commitment. Molly calls, and TJ steps away. Curtis looks at Jordan, who says, oh look. The comptroller. She needs to say hello. I guess that was like a how about them Mets? subject changer.

Sasha tells Michael, if Cassandra walks, it’s her fault. No one takes what she says seriously anymore. Michael says, he does, and she can’t believe he still trusts her after what happened. He says he trusts her more. She says she doesn’t deserve it. He asks if she wants to go, and she says she’d like another club soda. Michael heads for the bar, and literally runs into Ava. She drops her purse, and he sees the gun in her bag.

Curtis asks Jordan if the comptroller is keeping Port Charles afloat, and she says, so far, so good. She asks where TJ went, and Curtis says Alexis is at the hospital. Molly thinks she has the flu, but she wanted to be sure. So does she want to talk about it? The bomb TJ just dropped, and how she treated it like she’s in denial. She says when they transitioned form high school sweethearts to college roommates, it was easy. She never considered where it was heading. Curtis says it never occurred to her that TJ might want to marry Molly?

Alexis says she’s being embarrassed further by a med student observing? Molly says he’s there as a supportive boyfriend. Alexis asks if she really asked TJ to leave the party, and Molly says he decided to. TJ says, family shows up for each other. Alexis says, isn’t that the sweetest? and Finn says, pretty sweet, yes. Alexis asks how much longer until she’s not feeling crappy? and Finn says, soon. By the time she goes home tomorrow. He wants her to stay overnight; that’s his professional opinion. She asks, why? What does he think is wrong?

Hayden apologizes, telling Elizabeth she forgot to ask about the trial. What happened? Elizabeth says, Franco won, and Hayden is so sorry. Elizabeth says, it’s really rough on the boys. Hayden ask if they know, and Elizbeth says, Cameron does; he was there. Hayden ask how he is, and Elizabeth says, pretending he’s fine, but she knows he’s beating himself up. She hates all of it, and hates that it’s out of her control. Only one thing makes sense in all of this. Why Hayden came back, and why she’s so good with the boys. She’s part of the club now. Elizabeth hugs her, and Hayden says she guesses she is.

Jason brings Carly some tea. She says she’s worried about Josslyn is covering. She had the alternative to stay home. Some people would gut it out to prove they can be strong. Jason says, she is strong, and she says she hates seeing Josslyn hurt. She wants to jump in, but she can’t. Jason knows, and says she has to let Josslyn find her way. She says she’ll remind of that years down the road with his kids. He says he’ll need help, and she says like he’s there to help her. They hug.

Josslyn says for someone who claims not to care about Halloween, Dev is obsessing about his costume. Trina thinks they did a good job; she’s proud of them. She knows Josslyn and Cameron are going through a hard time, and Josslyn says they’ll just go to the stupid dance, and try to have fun. Cameron doesn’t think they have to try. He looks at the bottle in his coat pocket.

Michael says, what the hell? and Ava says she has a permit. He says that doesn’t mean she should bring a gun to his mom’s hotel. She can’t believe he’s saying that with a straight face. Sonny and Jason have never been there without carrying a gun. He says they have special privileges, and she says after what she’s been through, she’s learned you can never be too careful.

Laura tells Jax, that was close. They need to stay off the clock in public. Jax says, agreed. If Valentin still thinks the painting is worthless, he won’t look to reclaim it.

At the bar, Nina asks what Valentin thought about Jax’s conversation with Laura. He says it’s probably nothing, but he’s beginning to think the portrait is more valuable than he realized. Ava overhears.

Tomorrow, Finn asks Hayden what part he plays in Violet’s life, Doc has a confession to make, and Sam gets her cellmate back.

🎃 I am still behind with Halloween, and suddenly, it’s tomorrow. I’m also in desperate need for some sleep tonight, so this is a quicker RHOD than usual. The worst thing? It all might get rained out. But you know as well as I do, if I don’t make up a billion candy bags, that’s when I’ll get six busloads of kids at once. One year, I thought I started rifling through my cupboards, but I didn’t think instant oatmeal would be the treat anyone was looking for. Luckily, I ended up with three goody bags left.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Kary, Brandi D’Andra meet for lunch. D’Andra acts like she’s shocked about Kameron’s lack of manners, and they talk about how awful it is to bring someone uninvited to a bar. Kary once again compares it to a wedding. I guess she thinks her girls nights are that special.

LeeAnne goes for her final fitting with designer Nardos. Tiffany, Stephanie, and Kameron are along for the ride, along with some friends we don’t pay attention to. Kameron says when the quartet trio played at the shower, it became real. Stephanie is annoyed that Kameron is holding on to a petty thing. In her interview, she says she doesn’t need a third six-foot tall child.

Brandi says she’s not going to the wedding. A typed invitation ten days before the wedding is tacky. Says the woman who wore a hat decorated with plastic turds to a society party. She says she’s not dropping already made plans, and if she doesn’t have any, she’ll make some. I added that last part. D’Andra says her invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

LeeAnne models her dress. I’m loving the lace sleeves and back, but not so much the skirt part, which has a giant extra ruffle that makes it look weirdly unfinished. Nardos says it brings the child inside LeeAnne to life. LeeAnne wants to be worthy. She didn’t get that as a child, and struggles as an adult. Kameron loves being a part of her fairy tale, and Stephanie hopes the feeling makes LeeAnne a softer person.

Kary flashes back to LeeAnne being a downer. D’Andra doesn’t understand why Kary is going. Kary says she and LeeAnne are figuring out their friendship. In Kary’s interview, she says it’s a nice way to extend an olive branch, and she doesn’t want to give LeeAnne a reason to be negative. She tells D’Andra and Brandi that her next girls night is going to be in an undisclosed location.

Kary tells us that daughter Olivia’s prom is in two days. Olivia is working on her dress. Olivia is interning with designer Mackenzie Brittingham. In her interview, Kary says growing up, Olivia always wore interesting things. She thought she’d miss Olivia when she went to college, but Olivia has been such a pill, she’s looking forward to it. Olivia wants to go to fashion design camp in London, but can’t afford it. Eduardo is loaded, but shot it down. In Kary’s interview, she says Eduardo has been a good step-father to her kids, but as they get older, their financial needs are bigger, and she doesn’t get support from her ex anymore. She hates that Eduardo has the financial power. Geez, how stingy is Eduardo? It’s not like Olivia is asking for a party on a yacht. Kary tells Olivia about her plans for getting her own money. Olivia wishes Kary still had her prom dress and she could mess with it. She sounds like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink.

Brandi is pissed that Brooklyn is riding her scooter in the street. Brooklyn insists the sidewalks are more dangerous. Probably, but just for the people walking on them when she comes along. In Brandi’s interview, she says she’s been making the effort to give Brooklyn more time, but when she’s not getting attention, it backfires, and feels like Brooklyn is purposely pissing her off. Brooklyn argues over wearing a helmet. This kid is beyond obnoxious, but that’s not surprising. Brandi is afraid Brooklyn is going to resent it if she disciplines her, and push her away. Um… that’s called part of parenting. She says sometimes it feels like she’s failed.

Jeremy and D’Andra pick out clothes for a family dinner. In her interview, D’Andra says her family is small, and they don’t see each other often, so it’s important when they do. Jeremy asks how it went with Mama Dee, and D’Andra says her mom says mean things. D’Andra has taken a pay cut, moved the office to the house, and Jeremy’s been an employee. In her interview, she says now Jeremy understands how the business works. Her mother has made no effort to help, and just makes her feel bad. She tells Jeremy that she wants to show Mama Dee a united front. In D’Andra’s interview, she says her mother left the company in bad shape, and needs to take responsibility for the fact that she caused this. She tells Jeremy that they’ll both ask questions.

LeeAnne and Rich go out for sushi. LeeAnne tells Rich that everyone keeps telling her it’s x amount of days until the wedding. She told them, no math. He says, it’s not regular math; it’s a countdown. She says the wedding is in 72 hours, and he says, don’t threaten him. She says her mom is staying in a hotel. In her interview, LeeAnne says they haven’t spoken in two years. When they went to therapy, her mother said what she needed to look good, and lied. If they can’t find a place of truth in their conversations, LeeAnne doesn’t need to have them. She had a tough time deciding if she should include her mother. Rich says she only gets one. LeeAnne suggests letting her participate in lighting the unity candle. In LeeAnne’s interview, she tells us, in the South, you honor your mother, but in reality she wasn’t. LeeAnne’s mother didn’t raise her. Her grandmother did. She tells Rich that her mother tends to make things about her, and cause drama. She wants a mostly drama free wedding, and really wants to see her grandmother. Rich says, she’ll be there, so happy up. He says he hates when women cry, and will do a lot to prevent it. She says that’s why she’s with him. They toast to their future as husband and wife.

Jeremy and D’Andra meet Mama Dee, her brother James, and some of Dee’s friends for dinner. That’s the family? Dee toasts to their wonderful family and friends. In D’Andra’s interview, she says Dee and James have always had a tumultuous relationship. James was born when Dee was fifteen, and she sometimes treats him like a son. They argue a lot. Dee applauds Jeremy working with D’Andra, and Jeremy tells her about the new website, saying it’s going to spell out what the company means to D’Andra. Dee says, a mission statement, and D’Andra says she couldn’t find one on the old site. Dee doesn’t think she ever had one, but they were on TV. We see an old clip of D’Andra and Dee doing an infomercial. Jeremy says that’s where they were nailing it, but the market’s not there anymore. Dee says she built it for herself, and now D’Andra has the opportunity to go her own way, and start at ground level. D’Andra says she’s never been in that position. In Dee’s interview, she says she’d never put money into the company because she has no faith that it will come back and boom. Jeremy says, nothing has been invested in it for a long time. D’Andra says everything should have been in place. If she’d known, she would have been happy to cut her salary, but Dee wouldn’t let her see anything. Dee says D’Andra doesn’t understand the financial side. Only the owners and CPA see the numbers. Who made up that rule? I was in accounting for a long time, and never heard that before. D’Andra says she came in not knowing anything. James says her father was the expert. Oh ho. I think I see what happened. The father didn’t let Mama Dee see the books, and when he died, everything went south. Jeremy asks if Mama Dee has any regrets, but she says, no. She’s glad D’Andra has the company. D’Andra says if the switch had been made three years ago, she wouldn’t be in this position. Mama Dee says she has no regrets. In her interview, Dee says she never felt that she did anything wrong, and has no guilt. It’s not her responsibility. Dee rambles for a while, and says they can’t keep going back to this. She says if D’Andra thinks she did it deliberately, she needs to see a doctor. I guess I do too. D’Andra says nothing upsets Dee and she has no regrets. Why did Dee put her in this position? Dee says she thought D’Andra would be there 9 to 5, but she’d show up at 4:30 when everyone was leaving at 5. She  thought D’Andra would be more attentive to the company. It doesn’t sound like Dee encouraged that much. She says she refuses to talk about it anymore.

Brandi and Stephanie get ready for their podcast, A Weekly Dose of B.S. In case we didn’t get it, Stephanie explains in her interview, it stands for their names, not bullsh*t. She says it’s the most fun she’s had in her life. In Brandi’s interview, she says it’s really an hour of them catching up. Brandi decides to call Kary, pretending to be the gardener from next door, and telling her a spilly spider has gotten loose, and went into her house. They want to come and get it out. It’s dangerous, and can eat her pets. A friend of Kary’s gets on the phone, and asks what address they’re calling about. When Brandi hesitates, the friend says, eff off. Brandi and Stephanie die laughing, and Stephanie tells Kary it’s a prank call. She’s on their podcast. Afterward, Brandi tells Stephanie that Bruin’s biological mother is pregnant again, and already planning to give it to the state. She and Brian would be the first people asked to adopt the baby. Stephanie says it’s insane. She knows a couple with six children because the biological mother wouldn’t stop having them. Brandi doesn’t know if she can handle another baby. In Stephanie’s interview, she says Brandi would need full-time help if she took on another baby. She worries that Brandi needs help as it is.

LeeAnne and Rich arrive at the church. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says she knows it’s tradition for the groom not to see the bride before the wedding, but he’s been married a few times. it’s her first, and her MF’ing rules. She says no more normal life, and he asks when it was normal. LeeAnne tells Steve the final count is 350, but might be more.

Stephanie and Cary note that there’s a window of five hours in between the wedding and the reception. Stephanie thinks it’s brilliant that LeeAnne has a whole day celebrating her, and they have five hours to figure out what to do with their kids.

Kary and Kameron get their makeup done together. Kameron calls LeeAnne, and asks if she’s excited. LeeAnne says she was at the Round Up late. Court brings the ladies some food. In Kary’s interview, she says Eduardo would be expecting her to make him a sandwich while she got her makeup done. He sounds more and more like a real gem. Kameron shows Kary her photo book of mommy porn. It’s pictures of Court doing various chores around the house, including taken a dish out of the dishwasher that has his face on it. It’s very cute, and I have to say, has more imagination than I would have given him credit for. Kameron says, the sexiest thing is a man with a vacuum cleaner. In Kary’s interview, she thinks Kameron must have a golden vagina because of the things Court does for her. Kameron says, helping a mom out is a turn-on.

Cousin Katy tells LeeAnne that her mom is late. Tiffany goes through some positive affirmations with LeeAnne. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says her mom being late triggers he little girl who feels abandoned. Once the church door is shut, nobody is walking in, and ruining or distracting from her moment.

Next time, there’s no food at the wedding, Brian tells Brandi that two babies is a handful, and Eduardo says Kary only wants to talk about what she wants to talk about.

🌌 FYI, the Sy – we can’t spell – Fy channel has been rerunning Channel Zero. Since it’s been canceled <sob!>, catch it while you can.

🐈 They Don’t All Look Grey In the Dark…

I just thought this was cute, and appropriate for the season. He’s sort of black.


👠 It Will Last Through the Apocalypse…

Along with cockroaches and Twinkies, the Rocky Horror Picture Show will be with us forever.


💧 So I’ll Remove the Cause…

But not the symptom. Yes, I threw the first confetti. See Sal Piro‘s book, Creatures of the Night. Believe me, it’s not something I would make up. You’re welcome, or I’m sorry, depending on where you stand on that.

October 3, 2019 – The Painting Reveals a Clue, Tyler Redeems Himself, No Drama For Lisa, No Costumes Please & It’s Starting


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Finn catches Hayden on the phone with her daughter.

Ava sits sipping a martini at the bar in the Rib. She has the stack of Ryan’s letters with her, and Chet says, most people don’t have time for handwritten notes anymore. She says, the author of these letters has nothing but time on his hands. She downs the martini, and Chet asks if it’s not good enough to be savored. She says, on the contrary, but on nights like this she prefers to go right to a bout of well-lubricated amnesia. Michael comes up to the bar to pay his tab, and Ava asks him to tell his father to please stop ignoring her voicemails. She’s supposed to see Avery tomorrow, but can’t finalize plans if he doesn’t respond. Michael says Sonny has been busy. He and Avery have a new baby sister. Ava needs another drink. Or four.

Carly tries to get Sonny to go to the waiting room; their daughter needs to feel him close to her. Jason comes in, and Sonny asks him to stay with Carly while he checks on their daughter.

Laura says, Doc found a clue in the painting? He says, possibly, but he might possibly be seeing what he wants to see. He wouldn’t be the first cryptographer who saw a clue that didn’t exist. Laura asks what he thinks he sees. He says, that the codicil actually exists.

Nina wonders where Valentin got his musical talent. She doesn’t think it was from Mikkos. Valentin says, Mikkos didn’t sing; he screamed. Even though he doesn’t want to invite bad luck, he doesn’t want to be so far away from her. They kiss, and Jax smiles at them.

In the bathroom, Sasha tells Obrecht, she doesn’t know how much longer she can keep this up. Obrecht says she made a choice; they both did. She chose to keep Sasha’s secret in order to protect Nina. Her niece’s happiness is of the utmost importance to her. Therefore, Nina must never know Sasha isn’t her daughter. Inside one of the stalls, Lulu hears, and registers total shock. Sasha says Obrecht doesn’t have to remind her what’s at stake. Nina’s happiness is her priority too. Obrecht says Sasha made Nina believe that she was Nina’s daughter, but she’s an imposter. Now they’re both in too deep to get out.

Sasha tells Obrecht not to act like some victim. Obrecht says, there’s only one victim here – poor, trusting Nina, who believes Sasha is her long lost daughter. Sasha says she’s right. She took advantage of Nina’s trust, but why did Obrecht go along with it? Obrecht says Sasha genuinely seems to care for Nina. Sasha says she does. That’s why she can’t live with it. Obrecht says neither can she, but Nina has to believe her happily ever after is finally there.

Jax asks if it’s Nina and Valentin’s last night out as single people, but Nina says it’s what’s left of there bachelor and bachelorette parties. Valentin says, driving rain wasn’t as conducive to golf as Peter thought it would be. Nina says, and her bachelorette party kind of fell flat, but their luck changed, and they wound up in the same place. Jax says, congratulations. It seems like things are going their way. Nina says what about him? He doesn’t seem like a Floating Rib kind of guy. Jax says it has its charm, and he wanted something casual, since he’ll be celebrating their relationship tomorrow. Valentin says he doesn’t have to. They don’t care if Jax approves of their relationship. Nina says, but they do. She wants him to respect their relationship.

Doc tells Laura to look at the jewels on Helena’s collar. Some sparkle, some don’t. He thinks it’s intentional. It reminds him of a constellation. Corona Vera. She asks how he knew that, and he says he’s a bit of a constellation nerd. She says, of course (🍷) he is. He says some historians believe that cryptologists were the original stargazers. They looked to the stars for meaning. Laura asks what her favorite cryptologist knows about this constellation. Doc asks if she has other cryptologists in her life, and she says, no, but she thought it sounded better than only. He says he’ll take it. She wonders if it’s a constellation out of Greek mythology, and Doc says, it’s possible. Corona Vera is roughly translated to true crown, but could be taken as rightful heir.

Michael tells Ava that he’ll pass along her congratulations, and she says, please do. He tells her that if she’s seeing Avery tomorrow, try to be sober.

Carly thanks Jason for waiting with her. She thought it would be better for Sonny be in the waiting room. He has room to pace. If she could walk, she’d be pacing with him. Jason asks how she’s holding up, and she says physically, she’s fine; there were no complications. She’s not worried about herself. She’s worried about Donna. She’s so tiny. They let Carly hold her, and she’s so sweet, pretty and alert; Carly can’t believe she’s on the operating table. Jason says, Michael had surgery when he was a newborn and came through it. Donna will too. Carly says she knew it was coming, but didn’t know she’d be so scared.

Jason gives Carly a present. He says he bought it for her. He bought it for Donna too, but mostly her. She says he doesn’t give presents, but he says, it’s a special occasion. She unwraps it, and it’s a travel guide for Africa. She says he gave the same one to Michael, and Jason says, it was the first book Michael had. He just thought it would be a great place for her and Donna to get started. She thanks him. Wow. Those Corinthos kids must be smart, reading travel guides when they’re babies.

Hayden asks if Finn is hanging over her shoulder. Finn asks since when does she have a honeybun? She says Honeybun is her dog. He asks since when does she have a dog? What kind of dog is it? She says it’s a lab named Honeybun. It’s been a while since she’s seen Honeybun, and talking helps the separation anxiety. She’s trying to make sure her baby is managing without her. She tells Finn, tease her all he wants. Finn says, it’s sweet; it’s very maternal. She says, that’s her; maternal.

Laura finds a book on constellations and myths in the library. She tells Doc, Corona Vera is connected to a myth. She reads, a distant relative usurps the crown of a rightful heir. Earning the enmity of the gods who cast him down. She says he nailed it. Helena bequeathed the portrait for a reason. It all fits. Doc says, unless she was toying with Nikolas. Were they at odds when she died? Laura says, they were. Helena tried to control Nikolas, and for decades, she tormented him. Eventually, he flipped, and used her tactics against her. He became as ruthless as she was. Laura thinks it was Helena’s plan all along. Doc wonders if she wanted to help him or hurt him, and Laura says, Helena would want Nikolas to inherit the estate before Valentin. Nikolas is her own blood, and Valentin was the product of her husband’s infidelity. She’d never want the Cassadine estate to land in Valentin’s hands. Doc says the painting seems to confirm Valentin is not the rightful heir, but that doesn’t make them any closer to the whereabouts of the codicil. Maybe the answer is in the stars.

Obrecht says, Nina doesn’t know Sasha is nursing a guilty conscience. She’s afraid Sasha is going to have a relapse. Does she want Nina worrying on her wedding day? Sasha says, of course (🍷) not. Obrecht says, then stop thinking about herself, and think about Nina. She’s going to be married, and Sasha has to be the daughter Nina needs her to be, instead of a selfish Sasha, a nobody from nowhere. They leave, and Lulu, who’s been sitting with her feet up on the toilet and getting angrier, peeks out. She says, Valentin, you son of a bitch.

Jax tells Nina that he hopes the wedding will serve as a new beginning. Not just for her and Valentin, but for them. Strictly professional, of course (🍷). No more spying, no more secret files. Nina says Jax was the one with secret files, and Jax says she and Valentin both hired Curtis to spy on him. It was a wasted effort. They could have focused on the magazine. Moving forward, he hopes they can do better. Nina does too. Put the past in the past, and leave it there. Valentin couldn’t agree more. Jax suggests calling a truce, and asks what they should drink. Obrecht sidles up, saying, a vodka martini, shaken not stirred. Jax says it’s lovely to see her, and she says, him too. She asks if he’d like to join her in a martini. I wait for him to say he doesn’t think they’ll both fit, but instead, he says, only if he’s buying. Obrecht says, they can catch up. Nina thinks it should wait until tomorrow. They have to get back for their beauty rest. Obrecht says her beauty requires minimal maintenance. Jax says something to her in German, and they have a short conversation. He leaves, and she says, what a man. Nina says, he’s very charming, but please take it slow. Obrecht tells her not to worry. She and Jax are both cosmopolitan citizens of the world. Nina didn’t even know he could speak German. She asks what Jax said, and Valentin says Jax asked her to save him a dance tomorrow night. Obrecht says, no doubt, he’ll be a marvelous dancer. Nina thinks this conversation can end.

Sasha orders a glass of wine at the bar. Michael tells her that he’s going to GH to check out Donna and Carly. Sasha says she’ll see him tomorrow, and he says, without a doubt. He tells her to keep her chin up. It will all be over soon. He kisses her, and heads for the hospital.

Obrecht tells Nina they have time for a drink. It’s her last night of freedom, and must go down with a roar, not a whimper. Nina asks if Obrecht doesn’t want rest up for her big dance, and Obrecht says, perhaps she’s right. She wants to make the most of tomorrow’s opportunity. Sasha joins them, and Nina guesses this is goodnight. Valentin hates that she’s spending the night on Spoon Island. If the weather gets worse, they’ll close the harbor, and she won’t make it back. She says she’ll swim to him. Nothing will keep her away. They kiss, and Lulu comes out of the bathroom, looking shocked and furious.

Nina thanks Lulu for coming out. She knows they’ve had their ups and downs, and appreciates Lulu making an effort. Lulu says, it’s not Nina. She thinks Nina would want… Nina asks if Lulu is okay, and Valentin suggests she overindulged. Lulu says she’s not drunk. Valentin says, no judgement, but she doesn’t want a hangover tomorrow. Lulu guesses she’s just tired. Nina tells her to get some rest. If she shows up early, they can take some cute pictures of her and Charlotte. Obrecht says, it’s time to leave, and Nina says she’ll see them tomorrow. Lulu says, yes; she will. When Nina is gone, Lulu asks Valentin if he understands how much Nina means to Charlotte. If he jeopardizes that, and Charlotte gets hurt even a little bit, she’ll tear him down. He tells her, go home; she’s drunk. Dustin comes along, and asks if he can buy Lulu a drink. She says, if he doesn’t mind, she’d like some fresh air. Dustin says he doesn’t mind, and it’s cheaper too. She says she has to get out of there.

Looking at the book, Laura tells Doc, the stars have been used for navigation for thousands of years. Maybe their position in the sky means something. He says, their position when? She says, maybe when the stars are bright? and he says, like the jewels in the painting. She says, maybe they indicate the location of the codicil. He suggests they start by finding out when the constellation is most visible.

Hayden asks what Finn is doing at the Rib, and he says he got roped into Valentin’s bachelor party. Hayden says the things they do for love. Jax approaches them, and says, there she is. He thinks they should grab a table. Hayden say she needs to use the restroom. Jax asks Finn if Hayden is okay, and Finn thinks she just misses her dog. He says, strange. He never thought of Hayden as a dog person. Jax says it’s news to him too. Finn asks if Jax has never met Hayden’s lab, Honeybun.

Hayden finds Ava crying over the sink in the bathroom. Hayden says, rough night? and Ava says, rough couple of years. Hayden needs to use the sink, and asks if Ava minds moving. Ava says, actually, she does mind.

Carly ask Jason to tell her what’s going on. She knows him. He wouldn’t have left if it wasn’t important. He says, Sam’s been arrested for Shiloh’s murder. Carly says, what? How is that possible? He’s a kidnapper and sexual predator. Sam shot him to save Jason’s life. He says, Sam shot Shiloh in the back, and Carly asks what she was supposed to do. Politely ask him to turn around? Jason says, that’s what the cops said, but Carly says, the cops are wrong. Jason agrees, but a nurse overheard Sam say something potentially incriminating. Diane says the statement is hearsay, but then someone dropped off a recording with Sam saying she wanted Shiloh dead. Carly says people say that all the time, and he says, but Sam didn’t say it. The tape is fake. Someone is trying to frame Sam. Carly asks what they’d get out of it, and he says, maybe they’re leftover DoD members. If that’s all it is, Diane can handle it, but Sam is in lock-up, and her arraignment is tomorrow. Hopefully, this is the end of it. Sonny comes in, and Carly asks if it’s over. Sonny says he didn’t see Donna, but the operation is over. The surgeon is going to talk to them

Outside the Rib, Dustin gives Lulu his jacket. She thanks him for walking with her. He says she seems stressed, and she says, it’s complicated. He says he can handle it, and she says, someone she knows was lied to by a person they love. He asks if it’s bad, and she says, it’s despicable. He asks if she’s going to tell them, and she says she hasn’t decided yet. There’s chance a chance this someone would prefer not knowing. Dustin says, so do you help someone by not hurting them, or hurt them by not helping them? She says that’s her dilemma. What do you do when you think you really know someone, and it turns out they’re not that person at all? I wonder if this is a foreshadowing that Dustin also isn’t the person Lulu thinks either.

Laura reads that Corona Vera is visible in the northern hemisphere from November through March. She shows him the coordinates, and he says, the latitude and longitude is Spoon Island. She says he’s kidding, and he shows her on his phone. She hugs him, and says, they did it, but he says, not yet. The house is massive, and there’s the grounds and the outbuildings, not to mention the island itself. He’s not sure they can narrow it down. She says he got his first clue is in the painting, so the painting might hold another. They hear Nina, Obrecht, and Sasha in the foyer, and try to act normal.

Hayden fixes Ava’s makeup. Ava says she’s not the type to engage in a public crying jag, and Hayden says she didn’t think Ava cried at all. Ava says she thought the same thing about Hayden. Hayden asks where she got that idea, and Ava says, Nikolas. Hayden says she couldn’t afford to be vulnerable, but Ava wonders, why not? Nikolas was wonderful; sensitive and generous. Hayden says, he wanted her dead, and Ava says, so he had contradictions. Hayden says, don’t we all. She tells Ava that it was better in the long run. A simpler relationship was better for her. Ava says Finn hardly strikes her as simple, and Hayden says they’re done. She wants to be clear that Finn is in the past. She gave up on him, like Ava seems to have given up on life. Ava squeezes her glass so hard, it breaks.

Jax tells Finn that Hayden never mentioned a dog to him, but to be fair, she never mention she’d been engaged to Finn. They don’t talk about their personal lives so much. It’s strictly business. Hayden runs out, and says Ava cut her hand in the ladies room. She needs Finn’s help. Finn isn’t thrilled, but says, all right, and goes into the ladies room. Hayden asks Jax why he called this meeting, and he says first, he’d like an explanation. Why hasn’t she told Finn about their child?

On the phone with Diane, Jason says he just wants Sam out. They’ll deal with the rest later. Michael comes in with flowers, and Jason tells him the operation is over. The surgeon is talking to his parents now. They see the doctor come out of Carly’s room, and they go in. No one is crying, so that’s a good sign. Michael asks what the surgeon said, and Sonny says, their little girl came thought with flying colors. Carly says, Donna is going to be okay. Michael is happy for them, and hugs Carly. Everyone smiles.

Sonny says the surgery was a complete success, and there are no complications. Michael says, it’s a miracle. The first uncomplicated Corinthos. Carly says Donna will have to stay at the hospital for a while. She’s on antibiotics, in case of infection, and she’ll be monitored to make sure she’s healing properly, but the surgeon doesn’t think there’s any reason to worry. Sonny asks if  Jason and Michael want to see her, and Michael suggests they take shifts. Sonny takes Jason with him, and Michael asks how Carly stays so strong. Carly says he wouldn’t be saying that if he’d seen her during the surgery. She breathes a sigh of relief.

Dustin tells Lulu, it depends on what it relates to. She asks if he promises not to tell anyone, and he says he doesn’t know any of these people, except for her. She says she needs to hear him say it, and he says he promises. It’s her secret to keep or tell. She says, it turns out Nina’s daughter Sasha isn’t her daughter. It’s a scam. She knows Valentin has something to do with it. He probably cooked the whole thing up, and now Nina is going to marry him. Smug bastard. Here she is, armed with information that could blow him out of the water. Only.. Dustin says, only she’ll destroy the wedding. He says, look at it from Nina’s perspective. Would she want to know the truth?

Back at Windymere, Nina, Sasha, and Obrecht sit on the couch, drinking wine. Sasha thinks she’s had enough, but Nina says, no, and she can’t say no to the bride. Obrecht says, certainly not. She wishes her niece nothing but the best. They clink glasses, and Nina says she has gifts for them. Obrecht says, her first. Nina gives Obrecht a huge box. Obrecht unwraps it – real wrapping paper too – and says, her very own karaoke machine. She’ll be compelled to audition for American Idol in no time, although I think she’s probably missed the cut-off by a few years already. Nina says it’s Sasha’s turn, and gives her a small box. Sasha opens it, and says she can’t. Obrecht asks what it is, and Nina shows her the necklace. Obrecht says, it’s a significant gift, and Sasha says, and way too much. Nina says, nothing is too much when it comes to her. It’s not the original, but she had it made. She shows Sasha that she’s wearing the other half, and puts the necklace on her. Nina says, it’s perfect. Just like them.

Jax and Hayden sit at a table, and Laura and Doc walk in. Laura thinks they should keep their theory between the two of them for now. She feels that Hayden could still be a wild card. Hayden tells Jax that Finn could have heard. She doesn’t see how this involves Jax, but Jax says when he covers for her, it makes him an accomplice; a role he’s not comfortable with. She’s going to get caught, and he thinks she should cut her losses. Her lies are getting more desperate by the minute. A dog named Honeybun? She says she had to cover; it’s too late for anything else. If Finn had come to Rome, she would have told him, but now he’s with Anna. Jax says, that doesn’t change the fact that Finn has a daughter he doesn’t know about.

Finn washes Ava’s cut. He tells her to keep pressure on it, and when she gets home, put on a proper bandage and disinfectant. And lay off the booze, or it will keep bleeding. Ava says, as if the night couldn’t get worse. Finn asks how she cut herself, and Ava says his ex-girlfriend. Hayden offered unsolicited advice and an inaccurate assessment of her life. Who is she to judge? How did he end up with that hypocrite anyway? He says they never ended up together, and he’s engaged. Ava says, since when has that ever stopped anybody?

Nina tells Sasha that when she went to the jeweler to have the necklace made, she thought what her life would have been like if Valentin hadn’t found Sasha. She couldn’t imagine it. Sasha has made her a better person. They would have found each other regardless. They were destined to be together. Nina thanks her for being her daughter. She loves her. Sasha says she loves Nina too. They hug, and Sasha looks at Obrecht over Nina’s shoulder.

Lulu tells Dustin, of course (🍷) she’d want to know, but it might be better for Nina to live in ignorance, and sit on this truth. How can she make it through the wedding? How is she going to keep her mouth shut while Nina exchanges vows with that liar? Dustin says, maybe a distraction at the wedding would help. Lulu asks, what kind? and says, an escort at her side. He could be her back up. Does she have a date? She says, no, and he asks if she wants one.

Obrecht says, time for bed; it’s getting late. Sasha says she’s tired, and Nina says, okay. She can hardly wait for Sasha to be by her side tomorrow. Sasha says, it’s going to be beautiful, they hug, and Sasha goes to her room. Obrecht hugs Nina, grabs her karaoke machine, and also leaves. Nina sees the painting, and says, that’s enough out of you, covering it again. Valentin says, that woman is a real buzzkill. She says he’s not supposed to be there, but he says he needed to see her one last time. They kiss, and he says he has something important for her.

At the Rib, Doc tells Laura, there are other clues in the painting, but a photograph is a poor substitute for the real thing. Laura bets there are lots of clues. Helena intended for Nikolas to figure it out.

Valentin says, eyes closed, and puts a gorgeous necklace in front of Nina. He says, open them, and she says, it’s beautiful. He puts it on her, and says he loves her. They kiss.

Ava tries to think of the last time she saw Finn’s fiancé, but here’s Hayden. She’s still head over heels in love with him. Finn says Hayden made it clear she feels nothing, but Ava tells him not to kid himself, or let Hayden kid him. She’s lying when she says she’s over him.

Hayden says, telling Finn will just throw upheaval into their lives, and Jax says, it’s probably for the best. She asks if he’s saying Finn wouldn’t want her back. He asks if it’s never crossed her mind, and she says, obviously it’s crossed her mind. She’s thought of everything from a happily ever after to an ugly custody fight. But she always comes to the same conclusion. Finn can never know.

Carly tells Michael, Donna is so tiny and fragile. She kept worrying that something would go wrong, and that one moment is all she would get. Michael says she has a lifetime of moments. Donna is a lucky girl. She’s got the best mom in the world. They hug, and Carly says she loves him.

Jason and Sonny look at baby Donna. Sonny asks what Jason thinks. Jason says, she’s so tiny, and Sonny says, tiny, but fierce. They chose the right name. Their little girl is a fighter.

Tomorrow, Nina doesn’t want to hear it, Jax knows Sonny is covering up something about Dev, and Sam thinks Shiloh had an accomplice.

🗽 This week, on Million Dollar Listing: New York, Steve was gifted with the listing of the neo Bauhaus designed penthouse in The Noma. Steve had been focusing on buyers, since selling takes longer and it was a buyer’s market, but the penthouse – featuring 360* views, one of them being the Empire State Building – having never been listed, appealed to Steve. Developer Joel had hired Corporate Sunshine to sell the rest of the building, but felt the penthouse was unique, and needed a special marketing push. Steve didn’t want to step on any toes, but head broker Pam was thrilled it was Steve, instead of an outside broker. He threw a tremendous open house, including brokers Corporate Sunshine worked with, since they had the other listings in the building. I thought that was pretty smart, but Joel acted like a huge baby at the open house, trolling Steve, and saying the point of hiring him was to bring in new blood, and he was seeing faces he’d seen before. He wanted a Steve party, not a Corporate Sunshine party. Steve finally convinced Joel that he got plenty of people to come, influencers in particular, who would give the penthouse more exposure. Steve described it as very Instagrammable.

Since Ryan rebranded SoHY, he fell in love with it. One of his guests had said he has the magic, so he decided to run with that. However, he turned out to be a much better agent than a magician, so he hired one for the open house. Although he did dress like one, with a top hat, cape, and white gloves, which caused his wand to keep slipping. In his interview, he told us that when you create something, you have to keep saying the name over and over until others are saying it. He also dubbed himself The Great Serhantagasm, and couldn’t stop laughing at his own joke. With six hundred and eleven people there, he got his old enthusiasm back. He thought he and Emilia should buy something in the building to rent, and bought the penthouse himself. That left two other apartments, one of which he got a serious off for. The developer wanted to hold out on the price, but Ryan said there was a concern that the other units might not be sold, or that he’d end up renting them out. Ryan asked to list the rest of the building. The developer felt for a broker to buy his own listing meant something; he has faith in the property. He told Ryan if he could sell the penthouse at a slightly higher price, then he could list the rest of the building. On the personal front, Ryan and Emilia went to the eight-bedroom townhouse they’re renovating, and Emilia thought she might be going into labor.

Fredrik had a Greenwich Village single family townhouse that words can’t even describe. It had a floor-through master, a children’s suite, a beautiful and quiet backyard, and in the basement, a 1200-bottle wine cellar, gym, and stage. Fredrik was leaving for L.A. where he was meeting Derik, but before he left, was able to get the owners down a little in price ($20 million), which he felt was more marketable. In his interview, Fredrik said the conversation about Adam wanting to move to L.A. was completely unexpected. He said he does like driving his Bentley, and agreed L.A. had a different vibe. He was happy that Derik was happy there, but said he’d have to be bi-coastal, and he was already missing the kids when away from them. He told Derik that the hotel they were staying in was going to be a future townhouse development. He had a listing for a house there as well, but it was one that most brokers there had already seen, and relaunching a property is a problem.

Tyler had a huge fail last week, with only one broker showing up to his breakfast open house. Given a second chance, he called every broker he knew for a pied-à-terre party. He told them to also bring their buyers if they were in town. He had a horse carriage on stand-by, one of his main selling points being that the buyer’s front yard  would be Central Park. He ended up with lots of people – and Ryan, who called Triplemint (Tyler’s company) Bubblemint, and was humorously antagonistic in general. Tyler told the potential buyers that he had a special surprise, and took them on a carriage ride through the park, telling them, the best amenity was New York City. He got an offer that looked good for a hot minute, redeeming himself, until the buyer found out they were relocating for work, and had to retract it. I wanted to cry. The developer was happy with Tyler though, and gave him another thirty days to sell the place.

Next time, Tyler gets his biggest listing, and Josh Altman (Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles) feels that Fredrik is stepping on his turf.

👅 Oh, Too Bad…

LVP is too busy to watch American Horror Story.


Like I said.


👂 Heard Around Town…

We know it’s Halloween season, but please do not arrive in costume. — from an invitation to some upcoming nighttime events at Brooklyn’s Green-Wood Cemetery. (Via Patch)

👻 It’s Getting Closer…

Rocktober, Shocktober, or whatever cutesie name it’s given, the beginning of October spells Halloween to me. Who doesn’t like showing their true self… I mean, dressing in costume?







November 2, 2017 – One Jason Too Many, You Need a Bit of Shock Treatment & Tidbits


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Real Jason visits Sam’s room. She says, it’s you, and he says, yeah, it’s me.

On the docks, a very popular spot, Klein sees Valentin, who’s been ignoring his messages. He says Valentin owes him a debt, but Valentin says it’s been paid in full. Klein promises to do him a favor if Valentin gets him out of Port Charles.

Cassandra sees Finn at the MetroCourt. She tells him about being evacuated the night before, and he tells her he was at the hospital and missed the chaos at the party. She says it must be hard on him, tearing himself away from Anna.

Andre visits Anna. He’s come to say goodbye.

In Andre’s office, Franco takes the paper out of the printer. He says there are two Jasons out there with the same memories, and remembering how much they hate him. Elizabeth shows up, and asks what he’s doing there.

Real Jason asks how Sam is. She says she feels like she’s going crazy; she’s losing her mind. He tells her it’s okay, and sits by her bed, hesitantly taking her hand. He tells her again that it’s him. Sam says it doesn’t make any sense, and he says not for him either. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but wanted her to know she’s not crazy. He’s here, and he’s Jason. Danny comes bouncing in, and asks who he is.

Real Jason asks if he’s Danny, and tells him he’s his mom’s friend, and a friend of the uncle Danny was named after. Danny wonders why they’ve never met, and he says he’s been away since Danny was a baby. Danny asks why Sam is crying, and she tells him that she’s happy to see him. He shows her a card he made. Real Jason helps him up on the bed, and Other Jason is suddenly in the doorway. He tells Real Jason to let go of his son.

Valentin can’t believe how Klein screwed everything up, but Klein says it wasn’t his call. Valentin says his wife was at the party, and Klein says he had no idea what was going to happen. Valentin tells him their was a siege, and he couldn’t even get his wife home without running into one of Klein’s goons. He was shot and on the docks, throwing Klein’s name around, and Valentin wanted no part of it. Klein says he was fulfilling an obligation to a client, but never knew the price would be so steep. Hasn’t Valentin ever wished he could change the past? Valentin flashes back to Cassandra showing him the picture. I get a good look at it this time. It’s Claudette holding a newspaper toward the camera. Klein says Valentin is his only option. Valentin says he understands more than Klein knows.

Andre tells Anna that he’s leaving Port Charles today. She asks if there’s an explanation, and he says he came to town suddenly, so it makes sense to leave the same way. No, it doesn’t. She asks about his patients, and he says they’ll be in good hands. She says capable hands, but not his. He helped her when she thought she’d killed Carrrlos, and was having panic attacks. He tells her that he was happy to remind her of her inner strength. Anna tells him that he gave her back her life. She was lost in grief, and he showed her the way out. Andre says it’s nice to have a satisfied customer. He tells her no matter what she hears about him, he tried to help people. She asks what happened.

Franco tells Elizabeth to go back to her room, but she says she’s cleared. She wants to see the boys and sleep in her own bed. She tells Franco that she has a few days off, so while the boys are at school, they’ll have the house to themselves. He likes the sound of that, and asks how she knew he was there. She says she wasn’t looking for him, but thought she’d make an appointment for Jake while she was walking around. She saw him looking at the painting and knows why he’s there

Other Jason tells Real Jason to get out. Danny asks if he did something wrong, and Other Jason says Real Jason shouldn’t be there. Danny doesn’t understand, since he’s mommy’s friend. Other Jason asks if that’s what Real Jason told him. Carly shows up, and says they all had the same idea. She asks Sam how she is. Sam says she’s doing great, and shows her the card Danny made. Carly tells Danny there are some new, cool games in the playroom, and she’ll take him there. Other Jason acts like a cretin, saying he doesn’t know what’s going on and couldn’t care less, but he wants Real Jason out. He says Real Jason will be lucky if he doesn’t have him arrested. Real Jason says he doesn’t know what happened any more than Other Jason does, but he knows he’s Jason.

Cassandra tells Finn she’s more convinced than ever that he’ll put her on the road to health. She asks about the test findings, but Finn wants to discuss it in the proper setting at her appointment later. She says she’ll bow to his professional etiquette. Assuming the results aren’t dire, she’s inviting Finn and Anna to dinner tonight. Finn says there’s something she should know about his relationship.

Andre tells Anna that in both their professions, they see people at their best and worst. She says sometimes their work overlapped, and she’s grateful to have used his ability as a profiler. He says his ability to determine a person’s character. She says he turned his back on a WSB job to work at GH (apparently, I missed that conversation), and asks if he doesn’t want to settle anymore. He says he’s not going back to the spy game, but GH wasn’t settling. He loved his time there, helping all sorts of people, and will miss it. Anna says something is wrong, and asks him to tell her about it; she’s his friend and won’t judge. He thanks her. She proved he could trust her when they danced disco together. Anna says there’s no distrust on the dance floor. Andre gives her a mini disco ball to remember him at his best.

Franco tells Elizabeth he can explain. She says he never meant to sell the painting that Andre bought, and thinks he wants it back. He says it means a lot to him. She asks were Andre is, and Franco says he received life-changing news and split. He hasn’t just left the hospital, but left Port Charles altogether. He says he should be offended that Andre didn’t take the painting. Elizabeth is upset because Jake was having sessions with him, and they haven’t reconciled him seeing the man with Jason’s old face in the park. Franco puts his shirt tail over the paper sticking out of his back pocket. He’ll be happier when he gets her home, and says he’ll come back for the painting.

Other Jason tells Real Jason to let whoever set this up know it’s not going to work. Real Jason says he doesn’t know where he’s been for the last five years, but Other Jason doesn’t need to hear his lies, and says Sam doesn’t either. Real Jason says he needs to know one thing, but Other Jason says no, he doesn’t. Real Jason tells Sam that Danny looks like Jake. Sam says that Heather lied, and so did Franco. Danny is her son with Jason. Other Jason tells him to leave. He says Real Jason is a threat to his family, and he’s going to stop him. Carly returns, and says she got here just in time. Other Jason says this man refuses to leave, and to call security before things escalate. Carly says she can’t do that. She’s the one who told him that he needed to see Sam.

Anna asks Andre. please don’t leave; a good dance partner is hard to find. He wishes there was another way. A choice he made before coming there caught up with him. She asks if it’s about the WSB. He says it started out like all the devil’s work, with good intentions. He never told her, but he’d set out to conquer humanity’s great fear – the loss of one’s identify by loss of memory. He touches his briefcase, saying it’s his life’s work, so many pieces of paper. He’d hoped it would be his legacy, but it’s his curse. Anna says she’ll help, and he says he wants to tell her. She suggests making some tea, saying the ritual of pouring and drinking tea helps you focus. He says it sounds good, and I say, don’t leave him there alone! He looks at the disco ball.

Cassandra asks Finn if there’s anything wrong. She wouldn’t be surprised if there were problems. Her first impression was that Anna isn’t right for him. He’s so dedicated; practically married to his work. Anna is lovely, but she doesn’t get the sense Anna understands and appreciates his work. Finn says it was Anna who encouraged taking her on as a patient. She stands corrected. He tells her that Anna makes her own schedule, and it’s a bad idea for him to speak for her. He’ll see if she’s available, and let Cassandra know when he sees her at her appointment. When he’s gone, she asks herself what that was about.

Klein says there’s no need to involve Valentin’s family. He just needs safe passage out of Port Charles and a new identity. Valentin knows people who can make that happen, and he’ll help Valentin in the future like he has in the past. Valentin gets on the phone, saying he has a friend who needs the help they can provide. He’ll be waiting at Dock 55.

Carly says Real Jason and Sam need to talk, but Other Jason says Real Jason has nothing to say to his wife. Epiphany arrives, and when she sees Real Jason, says, I’ll be damned. He says hello, and she asks if he’s the cause of the disturbance. He tells her, pretty much, and she says he needs to go. The patient need to rest. Real Jason and Carly leave, and Epiphany tells Other Jason he has to go too. Sam was prescribed rest, and she’s going to rest. Other Jason tells Sam he’ll be right outside. Epiphany says it looks like Sam’s had a shock, and asks if she wants a sedative. Sam says she just needs time to think, and Epiphany says, I’ll bet.

Carly babbles at Real Jason about how it’s all her fault. She badgered him, and shouldn’t have told him to come, but it was important that he did. He tells her that he’s glad she made him do this. He got to see Sam and Danny, and found out Danny is his son. She says Danny looks just like him, and acts just like him. He’s a terror running around the Quartermaine mansion, driving everyone nuts. Real Jason sees Franco talking with Elizabeth. He strides over, and punches Franco out. Carly is like, uh-oh.

Epiphany calls security. Carly tells Real Jason it’s not worth it, and he asks why Franco is still alive.

Anna finds Andre gone, as I predicted. She grabs her phone and runs out.

Epiphany tells Real Jason he can’t be attacking anyone. She’s disappointed; he used to used to have better sense. Real Jason keeps going after Franco, even after security grabs him. Carly says it’s not his fault, but they take him away.

Klein tells Valentin that once he’s relocated, he’ll wire more than enough; name his price. Valentin says you can’t put a price on payback, and suddenly we see flashing lights. Klein says he heard Valentin on the phone, and Valentin says so did the PCPD. He asks if Klein thinks he would help after Klein almost got his wife killed. He tells the cops this is the man they’re looking for, and Klein calls him a treacherous bastard. He says what goes around, comes around, and someone will sell Valentin out the same way. Probably, but I don’t think this will be why.

Other Jason sees Carly and says, that’s it? She believes Real Jason? Carly knows it’s hard, and he says it’s impossible. He wouldn’t have known who he was if she hadn’t proved it. Now all that’s out the window? If that guy is Jason, what doesn’t that make him? She wishes she knew.

Elizabeth doesn’t understand. Carly called the guy Jason, and he looks like Jason used to look. She flashes back to everything Franco has told her about Jason having and not having a twin, ending with Monica saying the only way it’s possible, is if there are two Jasons. She says, omg, he’s alive, and Franco knew.

Valentin orders a drink at the bar. Cassandra says it’s early for happy hour, but then again, he doesn’t look very happy. He says he just severed a significant tie with his past, and would rather drink alone. She says not their past; they’re still bound together. He says she doesn’t need him, and she says she doesn’t need anyone, but wants him. No one else is able to meet her exacting standards. She tells him that he’s free to walk away, but there is the small issue of the woman who carried his baby, and it’s time to consider the next step. She has an appointment with Finn, and hopes he has an insight into her health issues. She bemoans that all the good ones are taken. Valentin says he isn’t positive, but he thinks Finn’s girlfriend dumped him.

Anna runs into GH, and tells Finn that Andre is leaving Port Charles. His office is empty, and she asks if Finn knows anything. Finn says Andre goes his own way, and asks if they’re friends. Anna says they were almost more than that, and Finn says he’ll be in good company with the rest of her exes. She says technically, Finn is one of them, but he says not yet. Cassandra invited them to dinner, and he hasn’t told her. Anna asks why not?

At the station, Carly babbles some more to Real Jason, who wonders why Franco isn’t in jail. Real Jason tells her to call Diane, and she says Diane can explain, since Franco is free because of her. He had a brain tumor, making him not accountable for his crimes, and the charges were dropped. Franco had thought Jason was his brother, but Heather lied; they’re not related. She asks Real Jason not to hate her, but she almost married Franco. He asks why, and she says that she thought he was Jason’s twin, and was desperate to hold on to him. She married Sonny instead. Real Jason is like, wtf? and she says she was a real mess. She needed him so much; she was a rolling disaster. He says he gets it, and he’s sorry she had to go through all that. Carly says everything is okay; he’s back. Klein is brought in.

Andre is at the docks. He takes his life’s work out of the briefcase, and puts it in a trash can. He sets it on fire. Nice going, Andre. Now you’ll never be able to reverse anything. You could have given that to Franco too. He watches it burn. Idiot.

Finn tells Anna that she has unfinished business with Cassandra, and he doesn’t want to screw it up. Anna thanks him, but says it wouldn’t be the end of the world, or the operation; couples break up all the time. He says unexpectedly too, and she’s like, oops, sorry. He tells her that he’s giving the test results to Cassandra, and she can finish the job. Finn tells Anna to be careful of Valentin. She says she can take care of herself, and he says he never doubted it.

Valentin tells Cassandra that he doesn’t know Finn, but he’s pretty sure his fiancé walked out on him. She says she didn’t know it had progressed that far with Anna. Valentin says, who? and Cassandra says, Anna Devane. She asks if he knows her.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t know anything. She says Monica claimed to have seen Jason at the MetroCourt, and Jake saw him in the park. Franco knew there was more to the story, and knew Betsy was lying. There was a twin. Franco says yes.

Other Jason returns to Sam’s room, and Epiphany says she needs to rest. Anything else can wait. She leaves, and Other Jason tells Sam that he doesn’t know what’s going on, but everything is going to be okay. She knows who he is. She opens her eyes, but doesn’t look at him.

Real Jason tells Carly to tell Diane not to work too hard to get him out; not yet. He says Sam’s husband is right about one thing. This is a set up. Somebody did this to the both of them, and he has to find out who.

Tomorrow, Griff won’t take no for an answer, Franco tells Elizabeth everything, Curtis has Other Jason’s back, and Real Jason and Klein meet in jail.

💍 Still working on my 90 Day Fiancé diatribe thesis.

👯 Not a Sequel, an Equal

Once in a while, I recommend a film, and this is one of those times. Released in 1981, Richard O’Brien‘s Shock Treatment was billed as a sequel to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, no doubt contributing to its downfall. Due to Tim Curry not wanting to reprise his Frank-N-Furter role, among other obstacles, the script was revised until the only remaining ties were the main characters of Brad (Cliff De Young) and Janet (Jessica Harper), who are now married and living in Denton. There’s where all links to its predecessor end.

In a nutshell, Denton is a place much like Stepford, where everyone gets along, there’s “tolerance for the ethnic races,” and just about everything is a reality show. Any comparison to our world today is merely a coincidence. Brad and Janet, who is disappointed with her marriage, become contestants on a show called “Marriage Maze.” Brad sucks at the game, and ends up in “Dentonvale,” which is a hospital, insane asylum, and yet another reality show, while a little black dress is whipped up for Janet, and she’s groomed to be the next big star.

The brains behind the entire operation is TV executive, Farley Flavors (also Cliff De Young), who turns out to be Brad’s twin. They were separated at birth, and Farley grew up poor. Now that he’s wealthy and powerful, he’s on a mission to ruin Brad’s life, and seduce Janet. On national TV of course. His plan is foiled when Janet snaps out of her ego trip, reveals that she never signed any contracts, and Brad gets sprung.

While the characters are different, some of the RHPS actors returned – Richard O’Brien, Patricia Quinn, Little Nell, and Charles Gray. Two favorites of mine are also in the cast – Rik Mayall (BBC TV’s The Young Ones and Drop Dead Fred) and Barry Humphries (Dame Edna Everage). The music is an absolute treat, and Jessica Harper has a voice like honey. She also starred in Phantom of the Paradise (another film I highly recommend), and I could listen to her sing all day long. Funny story about Barry Humphries. Just after the earth cooled, and before Tickmaster was omnipotent, I worked for a place that took ticket orders for shows in NYC. We frequently got freebies, he was doing a Dame Edna show, and a bunch of us went. One of the girls was late, and naturally, her seat was right in front of the stage. Dame Edna stopped the show, had a spotlight follow her to her seat and stay there a while, and kept referring to her throughout the entire production, calling her “Lobes.” It had something to do with her earrings, maybe because they looked heavy. It was seriously a long time ago. I can still see her walking to her seat though. I’ll bet she remembers too.

The film also has an interesting development history, the script constantly evolving because of continuous wrenches being thrown in the works. Originally slated to be filmed in Denton, Texas, when an Screen Actor’s Guild strike happened, everything had to be rerouted to a studio in England. This also caused the story to now take place entirely in the DTV (Denton Television) studio. They were nothing if not resourceful.

Although not well-received at the time, I’ve always loved this film. Maybe even more than RHPS in some ways, and more so as time has gone on and I’ve watched as my world becomes more and more like Denton. Besides the suggestion that it was a sequel, there were also “floor show” screenings and audience participation, which I think worked against it. Having been one of the RHPS “pioneers” (a title bestowed on me in Sal Piro’s Creatures of the Night), take it from me, it can’t be forced. Go ahead and give it a look. A bit of Shock Treatment will get you jumpin’ like a real live wire.

👵 My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.Barry Humphries/Dame Edna

😄 Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.Barry Humphries/Dame Edna

🌞 The sun never sets on those who ride into it. – Narrator, Shock Treatment

😎 I Will Forever Be Brad…




October 31, 2017 – Is Real Jason Other Jason, Most Annoying Guests So Far & a Halloween Mix


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

🙀 It’s only Tuesday, but already it’s been a bad week for this show. Yesterday, the news about Russia couldn’t wait, and today, a guy plowed into a load of people in Manhattan because the world has officially gone crazy. While yesterday’s interruption was only ten minutes, they never went back to the show today. I’d intended to catch it later on YouTube, but omg, I’m exhausted. Not only did I have to put my makeup and costume on for the second time within a week, I almost ran out of candy for the trick-or-treaters. There was a moment when I seriously considered giving the kids packets of instant oatmeal, and did have my Trader Joe’s dark chocolate and nut bars ready just in case. Anyway, the Halloween prep was all too much this year, and due to job responsibilities beyond his control, my husband was not here to help. Although I often have to beg him to hand out candy while I make a bathroom run, he was also not available to make the yearly Taco Bell run for nachos belle grande. That being said, here are the takeaway points I’ve gathered from other sources.

Doc proposed to Laura, luring her in with an old Hollywood themed party. The party was him asking her to marry him. Finn found out nothing is wrong with Cassandra, and told Anna it’s over. He wasn’t treating her for something she doesn’t have. I assume it’s not over for them as a couple though. Otherwise, all that smiley stuff after their kiss was for nothing.

This wasn’t what Andre signed up for (join the club), and he parted ways with Klein. Devlin, the henchman who grabbed Sam, was discovered by Valentin at the docks, where he was walking with Nina. It must get crowded there. Mobsters, kids, thugs, lovers; never a policeman in sight though. Devlin had been shot, so Nina called 911, and Valentin translated his French, but not really, telling Dante something different. He wondered how Devlin knew Klein, and I’m wondering why Devlin only speaks French all of a sudden. Valentin got a text from Klein saying he needs help, but he ignored it. Good. Klein is a whining pita. He’s been doing nothing but complaining from the first time we saw him.

Real Jason didn’t stand in Other Jason’s way after he brought Sam to Sonny’s. Other Jason went with her to the hospital, while Real Jason went to the station with Jordan. Sonny called Real Jason “Jason,” which bothered Other Jason, who insisted to Sam that he’s the Real Jason. At the station, Real Jason wouldn’t talk without a lawyer, and Carly appeared, saying Diane was on her way. Jordan said she’d have to arrest Real Jason, and they’d be running his prints, and Carly said they were going to show he’s the Real Jason.

Oh, and Sam is going to make a full recovery.

A friend of mine, who sees the show an hour earlier, so saw it in its entirety, pointed out something interesting. She said Andre told Klein that Patient 6 was on his way to the people he thinks are his family. Does this mean Real Jason is really Other Jason, and therefore Andrew?

Below Deck

Sara, girlfriend of primary guest Robbie, wants her luggage in the room yesterday. Kate’s getting the feeling she hates these people. Jen is trying to let everything roll off her shoulders. Sara finally gets in her bikini, making all the male guests and crew members very happy. Anchor is dropped at Rendezvous Bay. Kate thinks they’re all nuts.

Matt is making a sirloin for lunch, and fish for dinner. He’s in a good head space right now, and is sure the guests will love the meals. Nico thinks the chick in the bikini is effing amazing. Sara requires music. They need the jam. Another beautiful table is set. Sara makes another demand for music. Kate tells Bruno where to look, and he says they’re pushing his buttons already. Sara toasts to the wonderful life they have, and makes mmm noises about lunch. Kate says she’s definitely in it for love, and Jen nearly dies laughing. After lunch, the guests play on the water toys. Kate feels like she’s at summer camp for drunk third graders. I always wonder about that drinking/swimming stuff though. I know they let the guests do pretty much whatever they want, but isn’t that an insurance liability?

It’s nearly six o’clock. Time for shots. A cucumber gimlet is also demanded requested. Nico tells Bri that his brother is arriving in two days, and he’s excited. The guests dance badly on deck. Matt’s sesame seared tuna looks amazing. He says cooking for intoxicated guests isn’t pleasant, but makes the job easier. Kate says if she could have this Matt’s food all the time, it would be great. She tells the guests that after dinner, the pajama party is happening. She asks the deckhands to make a pillow port. EJ and Baker work on it. He suggests making a sort of igloo. He thinks her aggression is intriguing, but makes him nervous. As Jen is helping a guest with something in her room, the guest says her husband likes Jen, closes the door, and shows Jen things she doesn’t want to see. She tells Kate she’s not going downstairs for the rest of the charter. She’s never been propositioned by a married couple before. Me neither.

EJ welcomes the guests to the ultimate pajama party. They want the best scotch possible. Kate tells Matt it’s not a drive-through for alcohol. Baker thinks she’d drink every drop of liquor if she was on a charter, so she can’t fault them. Here’s a hint. Just because it’s there, doesn’t mean you have to consume it.

Bruno helps the stews with kitchen duties. He seems like a nice guy. Nico says he can handle putting up the beach party. He wants to prove to Captain Lee that he can be responsible. In his interview, EJ says he’s fine with it; Nico needs to put his money where his mouth is. Kate wonders how many chefs are too many, when Bruno gets in her way. I’m surprised the guests are alive for breakfast. Kate gives Jen a whistle in case she doesn’t feel safe on the beach. Matt says there are things like jellybeans and tacos on the preference sheets, but Kate has other ideas for lunch. She likes working with him, since she suggests the obvious, and he thinks she’s a genius. That’s why I love babysitting three and four-year-olds. Put a paper plate on your head, and you’re Einstein.

Bruno thinks the interior crew is dysfunctional when no one can tell him where the limes are. The captain is annoyed that no one is answering their radio. Nico, Bruno, and Kate set up for the picnic. The guests whine that everyone is moving slow AF. Captain Lee thinks it’s not rocket science, and Nico should be more on top of it. The cabana starts flying away, and one of the posts ends up getting broken, making it unusable. A guest bitches that she’s missing sun time. Kate thinks Nico is stressed, and in over his head. No one is answering the radio. The same bitchy guest wonders if they should start complaining; it’s taking forever. Like no one noticed she’s been complaining. Robbie says it better be one helluva set up. The captain thinks it’s going nowhere fast, and calls it a clusterf*ck.

Kate thinks the guests are lucky Jen turned them down, since she never finishes any job she starts. Sara uses a bubble wand, and complains that the bubbles are cheap AF. Bitchy says she’s asked for water three times now. Sarah wants to go back, and says her swimsuit is giving her life. I don’t believe for one second she’s with this guy for his sparkling personality or good looks, but he is getting no prize whatsoever.

The captain asks Nico and EJ to meet him at the bridge. Bitchy asks for more food, talking with food in her mouth. Captain Lee says the crew isn’t paying attention to details. He’s disappointed in Nico not living up to potential. In his interview, he says that everyone knows that if he has a pet peeve, it’s not answering the radio. EJ is upset because he wants Nico to succeed, and be at the level he needs to be, or he’ll be out.

Robbie seats a teddy bear at the dinner table. Jen is serving, and gets creepy compliments. EJ tells Baker that he’s lost hope getting on Nico’s ass in gear; it doesn’t make a difference. Nico doesn’t want to be better. The husband of the aggressive couple asks Jen to pick something up, and when she does, Mrs. Aggressive touches Jen’s butt. Kate says if they pay enough, they think they can sexually harass you. She tells us that experience teaches you how to deal with it, but Jen isn’t a yachty. The wife is drunk off her ass, and asks Jen to bring some water to her room for before she goes to bed. Kate tells Jen to be careful not to give mixed signals.

Nico wanted to show the captain that he could run the team and take responsibility, but he failed. Yes, he did. Nico and Bri get busy. EJ likes Baker’s style; her accent turns him on. Jen and Kate put water in aggressive couple’s room, and run like hell. Jen says she’s scared. I don’t blame her. These people are weird and boring at the same time.

Bruno and Nico agree it went horrible, but the guests say the trip flew by. The dock isn’t clear because someone took their parking spot, and the boat has to wait two hours. Captain Lee decides to take the guests to the shore by tender. Everyone gets ready for the guests’ departure. Robbie says he knows they can be a handful, and Sara says the hot mess express is out. Bri compliments Jen on going above and beyond. Kate is happy, and agrees. Wow. That’s an accomplishment. Jen says if she had to label these guests, it would be GTFON. Google it. I had to.

The captain tells the crew that some have made strides forward, but some are only treading water. He isn’t happy being mediocre. The tip is $18K ($1620 each), which he says is okay, but he’d like to see it in the $23-24K range. He tells them to take to heart what he said. Nico says he’ll be grabbing a beer with his brother. Josh comes on board the boat, and EJ tells him to take his shoes off on the deck. In his interview, Nico says after his other brother died, Josh reset his brain, and helped him emotionally. Nico introduces Josh to everyone. Jen thinks he has the potential to be an ex lover of hers.

The crew goes to the beach on their off time. Baker discovers Nico has a third nipple. She does too, and tells him welcome to the triple nipple club. Nico and Josh walk on the beach. Nico tells Josh that it was hard starting over with a new crew, and they have an unneeded new bosun who’s a d-bag. Kate teases Bri about meeting Nico’s family now. Bri says they’re just having fun, but doesn’t think about it in the long term. Nico tells Josh he’s been misbehaving. Melissa was putting stress on him, and Bri is a cool chick who’s also beautiful. Nico says he’s slept with her, but not with her. Josh tells him don’t always look to run when things get tough, but it’s okay to be a little loose.

Jen wants to build a fire. The sun sets. EJ is nervous about Baker. He doesn’t know if he should hug her, or kiss her, or what. The group ends up going to a bar. Nico says Freako is coming out. Jen twerks, and then dances with Josh. She feels his vibes. She says he’s young, but her type.

They go back to the boat. Several of them are barefoot, and EJ realizes his feet are filthy. He tells everyone if their feet look like his, to wash them, and calls out Josh. Josh says get the hell out, but EJ says they don’t want that sh*t all over the boat; he’s cleaning his. In his interview, EJ says they’re both d*cks; like brother, like brother. Nico starts talking smack about EJ again.

Next time, EJ doesn’t want a dirty deck, two drunk Nicos, the next primary is a restaurant owner who looks like another idiot, and Nico needs to go to the hospital.

🎃 Hope you had a Happy Halloween. Despite my near candy catastrophe, I found it entertaining. Because I knew I’d have no break, I modified my Harley Quinn costume to make it easier to jet around in, and ditched the wig, putting my own hair in pigtails. Hopefully, no one thought I was Margaret from the New Jersey Housewives. I usually have at least one toddler who walks boldly into my house, but this year I had one who walked into my door. Literally. He was dressed as Batman. My own Batman, my dog Casey, punked out on me, sleeping through the whole evening. Some hero.

👻 Let Bette Midler Put a Spell on You…


👄 Feel Free to Dance Along…


👹 Get Dead…




September 28, 2016 – GH’s Anna is Back Home, Little LA’s Terra Finally Gets in Her Home & AHS/RHPS Tidbits


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna is home! She wants to find out what the hell has been going on.

The scene with Paul, Susan, and the birthday cake is repeated. He tells her that except for Monica Quartermaine, he’s killed them all. He blows out the candles and Susan reacts. He asks her what is it, but it’s probably that she saw Tracy peeking around the door.

Curtis works out at the gym hitting a punching bag. Nothing important, but his hot body is duly noted

Nathan apologizes to Maxie for the crazy situation. She tells him the only crazy is Claudette and he has nothing to apologize for. She mentions how Claudette talked to his mother without a heads up, and Claudette comes out of nowhere and says she thought it was the right thing to do.

Griff welcomes Anna back. They sit down to eat at Kelly’s and talk about Julian. Anna says he’ll never be brought to justice now. Griff says he knew she’d be disappointed, but she says more like angry and confused. She tells him she’s sorry they couldn’t get justice for Duke. Griff says he’s sorry for the loss of Sabrrrina. Anna says the hardest thing was explaining it to Emma. She tells Griff that she’s spent the better part of her life upholding the law and now it’s failed her all over the place.

Paul asks Susan what’s going on. Tracy runs to the elevator and gets in. The door closes. Then it opens back up and Paul is standing there. I make a noise out loud. Tracy smiles.

Nathan tells Maxie to go do her conference call and he’ll talk to Claudette. Claudette tells Nathan that she hasn’t handled things in the best way. She realizes that she wants him to be a real father to their daughter and hopes that he does too.

Anna tells Griff she spoke to Dante about Sabrrrina’s murder. The consensus is that Sabrrrina figured out who attacked Monica and was killed for it. Griff tells her that Monica is going to be okay. He asks about the cufflink, but Anna says nothing yet, and all they have is a picture. She says when she left, they had an airtight case against Julian, so how did everything evaporate, including his confession? Jordan walks in and Anna asks what the hell happened with Julian.

Tracy tells Paul she came to see Susan. She explains how she found out where Susan was. She’s pretty good at this because I would never guess that she’s probably dying inside. She says she’s sad that Paul didn’t feel he could tell her or Dillon about Susan being at the hospital. She says she didn’t mean to invade his privacy. He says he knows how much family means to her and thanks her for caring. He says it’s not a good time to see Susan though. She doesn’t speak but uses sounds and gestures that he can understand, and she signaled she wants to be alone. He says she’s resting, but he’s staying in the area so he can come back later. Tracy apologizes again, saying she realizes it’s a private matter for him. He says now that she’s here, he’d like to talk to her about Susan.

Andre shows up at the gym for some boxing. Curtis says they must have double-booked, but if he wants to use the bag, he can. Andre suggests they spar.

Nathan says he gets the results of the paternity test in a few hours. Claudette has a mini freak-out, wondering how they could get an accurate result so quickly. Suddenly, she has to go. Maxie comes back in. She says Claudette must be desperate to do damage control and she’s been lying to them the entire time. This is a real shock since Claudette has been so truthful up until now.

Griff leaves so Anna can talk to Jordan. His phone rings. It’s Claudette. She says she spoke to Nathan and Maxie, and now she needs to speak to him immediately. She asks him to come to her room at the MetroCourt.

Jordan tells Anna that she didn’t screw up the warrant; she knows she gave the right address. She says she can’t find any sign that someone else got into the system, but that has to be what happened. Anna says Scotty’s ethics are flexible (ha-ha!), but he’s not going to do something that will land him in jail. Anna says whoever did this set Julian free. Well, yeah.

Paul says he needs someone to talk to and asks Tracy to have a quick bite with him at this great steakhouse he knows. He says he’s been feeling overwhelmed, like things are starting to get away from him. He says he didn’t see Sabrrrina’s death coming. He knows he and Tracy aren’t family anymore, but they’re friends. She says absolutely, but she doesn’t want to take away from his Susan time. He reminds her that Susan wants to be alone right now, and asks if there’s some reason she doesn’t want to dine with him. He uses the word “dine.” Who uses that word? Besides Paul.

Griff comes to Claudette’s room. He asks what her frantic call was about. She says there’s a slight possibility that what she told Nathan and Maxie could involve him.

Maxie says Claudette is obviously panicked. Nathan says it’s possible he might not he the father, but is Maxie prepared if he is?

Jordan and Anna go over what happened at the trial. Jordan says Alexis told her that she’d only had one glass of wine, and either she’s lying or everything got to her. She says the testimony was ridiculous and Alexis ended up collapsing into Julian’s arms. Anna says she’s not going to get angry after the fact, but what the blip was Alexis thinking? Jordan says Alexis is only human, and maybe she couldn’t cope with seeing Julian there. Anna says she needs better answers and wants to talk to Paul.

Tracy says she’ll be happy to dine with Paul. They get into the elevator.

Curtis asks Andre if there’s any progress with his killer profile. Andre says he can’t discuss it because Curtis isn’t technically a part of the team. Curtis says he’s been helpful and Jordan is comfortable talking to him. Andre says he’s not, so drop it.

Tracy goes back to Paul’s room. He looks for his wallet, but she says she’s willing to spring for the meal. He says he’s buying, end of story. He goes through his stuff. His phone rings, but he doesn’t answer, saying it’s nothing important. Tracy is clearly nervous.

Anna tells Jordan that Paul isn’t answering. She says maybe he’s laying low because he hates to lose. Jordan asks if she’s going to respect his privacy and Anna says no. Two minutes in the door and she’s on fire already.

Griff tells Claudette the past is the past, let it go. She sputters some nonsense and he tells her to spit it out. She says the night Nathan shot him, she discovered something – she was pregnant.

Maxie says Nathan has never had a problem with Georgie, so why would she have a problem with him having a child? He says if he’s Charlotte’s father, he needs her to be honest about where she stands. She says years ago, she was more like Claudette than she’d like to admit, and would have wanted him to stay away, but now that she’s a mom, she’d never sabotage any relationship with his child. She says if Charlotte is his daughter, she knows he’ll be a committed father and she’ll completely support him.

Claudette tells Griff about Charlotte. She says she’s almost positive Nathan is the father. She says they never used protection, but she and Griff were always careful. Except for the times they weren’t.

Maxie says all of her reservations are about Claudette being a lying liar, not about him being a dad. Nathan says he’s never loved her more. He says Claudette having a child explains a lot, and whether or not Charlotte is his daughter, he wants to make sure she’s safe. Maxie says his first instinct is to protect and it’s one of the reasons she loves him.

Claudette tells Griff that she feels Charlotte is Nathan’s. Griff says calling him is a preemptive strike just in case her daughter isn’t Nathan’s. He asks why she didn’t tell Nathan to begin with. She says she’d just seen him shoot Griff in a drunken rage and didn’t know how he’d react. Griff says that’s no excuse. He asks if there’s something else she’s not telling him. She says Nathan wanted a paternity test and the results are coming in today. Her phone rings. It’s Nathan and the results are in now. He’ll pick up the papers, and he and Maxie will meet her.

Curtis tells Andre that they have more important things to talk about than sparring. He says it’s Andre’s call about discussing the case, but this has nothing to do with the case; he doesn’t want Curtis involved with Jordan. Andre says Curtis has disrupted her life. Curtis says all that’s in the past and obviously Andre is out of the loop. They verbally spar and Curtis tell Andre to go ahead and take a punch.

Anna goes to Paul’s hotel room and sees Olivia, who’s spot checking the rooms. She tells Anna that Paul did the best he could, and Alexis messed things up. She says Julian will never see his son again though. Anna asks if she can leave a note for Paul. Olivia gets a call and has to go, leaving Anna alone in Paul’s room.

Anna opens a drawer – I assume looking for stationery – and takes out a folder. The papers fall out and they’re all articles about the hospital killer.

Paul continues to look for his wallet, and explains how Susan communicates with him. He tells her that Susan can let him know when he should come or go, or if a nurse is at the door. This makes Tracy a little nervous. He finds his wallet in the couch, but says why don’t they order in?

Nathan knocks on Claudette’s door. He and Maxie come in with the results. Nathan says he’s not surprised to see Griff. He opens the envelope.

Jordan asks Curtis why he’s telling Andre to hit him. Curtis replies that it’s a boxing gym. Curtis leaves and Andre calls Curtis Jordan’s boy. He says Curtis was prying into the case, and admits to just not liking him.

Anna thinks the folder is Paul’s research. And then she finds the biggest cufflink I’ve ever seen. Seriously. It’s stupid big. Who is Paul on his off-time? The Jolly Green Giant?

Tracy asks why she’d want room service when Paul has been bragging about the steakhouse. Paul locks the door and says he can’t let her leave.

Next time, Doc and Laura share the same flight, Paul tells Tracy he needs to tie up loose ends, and Anna investigates the giant cufflink further.

Little Women: LA

After having the babies, Elena is concerned about stretch marks and she’s having them burned off. At least that’s what it sounds like. Terra goes with her, and says she seems like she’s in a better mood since her birthday party. Elena is upset that the girls aren’t getting along. We flash back to the Plastic incident at Tonya’s photo shoot and then the fight Tonya had with Christy on the yacht. Elena wants to get to the bottom of why Christy’s personality has changed so much. We see some of the procedure and while they don’t use a torch, it’s some kind of zapper that looks painful. I guess vitamin E wasn’t an option.

Terra wants a drama free night of belly dancing. She’s invited all the girls with the exception of Christy. Can’t say as I blame her. In her interview, Terra says that she wants to be in the best shape possible, so that she’s raring to go for Dancing with the Stars after she has the baby.

Christy is still getting over Elena’s birthday, so she goes to a soap-making class with her mom. She says she’s had it with the girls, and talks about the fight with Tonya. She tells her mom that she exploded at everyone. In her interview, Christy plays the victim. She does regret some of the things she said though, like calling Tonya a Black whore. She says she misses her friendships. Well, quit acting like a d-bag then. Her mom tells her she can’t change the past, but only move forward. Zzzzz….

Matt’s son is visiting from Seattle. Briana loves the family vibe, and Eric is enjoying his baby brother, Maverick. The kids go to play upstairs and Matt says he loves having the kids, but he’s pretty tired. He talks to Briana about the party and “Crusty.” In her interview, Briana says she thinks Christy is pissed off because she and Matt worked things out. She tells Matt that Christy is spreading the story about him and Plastic like it’s new, even though it was six months ago. IMO, that’s still kind of new, but if they’ve decided to let it be in the past, that’s their business. Frankly, I was pretty appalled at Christy’s antics. Briana says Christy has no soul and no respect, and Matt says she’s crazy.

Two masseuses show up at Tonya’s house with flowers. Tonya thinks some wine, chocolate and a foot massage will help her bond with Angelique. She wants their relationship to get back to where it was before Kerwin moved in. Angelique tells Tonya she’s dating. When Tonya asks if she’s committed, Angelique wants a definition of that. Tonya asks how many massages it will cost her to get some real information.

Christy talks to her daughter about getting her driver’s license. She wants Autumn to be extra prepared, since being a dwarf makes it even tougher. She suggests they practice at home. I think she means taking a spin around the block, but Christy sets up a makeshift “car” in the kitchen using a paper plate for a steering wheel. Autumn wonders why they’re doing this. She’s unenthusiastic and tired. Christy thinks in addition to her cyst, Autumn has a thyroid problem and wants to make a doctor’s appointment. Autumn agrees.

Tonya says ever since she had a baby, she’s suffered from thinning hair. She’s approached Jasmine about her issue, since Jasmine is a hair stylist. Jasmine can totally relate because she has the same problem. She likes to make her clients empowered rather than embarrassed and help them take control of their hair.

Tonya tells Jasmine about the evening of belly dancing Terra is planning. Jasmine says she doesn’t have a pet and Terra told her that she usually doesn’t like people who don’t have animals. She says she’d love one, but doesn’t have the time. Tonya says she doesn’t think Terra meant anything bad and to just discuss it with her.

Kerwin and Tonya have been looking for fun things to do on date nights, so they go to a flight simulator place. This is really cool. They put on flight suits and goggles, and sit in a cockpit type thing with huge screens in front of them. It looks like they achieved their goal of having fun.

They talk about Angelique. Tonya tells Kerwin that Angelique is worried that she’ll pass along everything they talk about. She definitely wants him to back off about Angelique’s love life.

Terra and Joe are going back to the house they bought. The one the former owner won’t leave. We flash back to last week when they couldn’t get in. They’re meeting with the seller’s brother-in-law to hopefully get the keys. The guy meets them and says everything is cleared out. He warns them that there’s powder all over the place though, since she was afraid of people breaking in and wanted to get fingerprints. He gives them the keys. Joe says they can deal with a couple of kilos of powder and Terra says she hopes it’s not that kind of powder.

Tonya meets them and they tell her about the powder. In her interview, Tonya calls the seller a crazy heifer and I laugh. Terra is afraid to go in. Joe suggests they paint the walkway yellow and the seller will think their small footprints are from Munchkins.

Terra is nervous, but puts the key in the lock. The door opens and she gasps. Man, I so relate to this, since we had the same problem. Not quite as bad, but when we got here with the moving truck a day after closing, the previous owner was sitting here in a folding chair along with a bunch of her stuff. This was after we’d acquiesced to several things just to get her out on time. And she’s still here twenty years later. Just kidding.

Everything is fine. And it looks pretty clean. Terra is excited because it’s where they’re going to raise their family and she knows she can make it a home. Okay, the tub is covered in powder. Tonya has a lot of connections and is going to hook them up with someone who can make the house little people friendly. Terra is ecstatic. Joe wants to christen the room and Tonya says she’s outta there. Contractor and landscaper to follow.

Elena and Briana go to the park, so the kids can have some fun in the sprinklers. Elena knows what sex her baby is going to be, but she’s not ready to tell us yet. She asks Briana how Matt is dealing with Maverick’s littleness. Briana says things are going well, but she’s still miffed about Tonya’s comment that a little baby would be easier for her. Jasmine says she’s surprised, since Tonya is a mother to an average sized daughter. Briana says her step-son doesn’t look down on her because she’s little, and I think, well, technically, he does. Jasmine talks about Terra saying she normally doesn’t like people who don’t have animals and wonders if she’s being sensitive. Ya think? Briana says she is pregnant. In her interview, Briana thinks Jasmine must be having a girl and has extra estrogen. Since we didn’t actually see the conversation, I’m assuming what Terra meant was that she doesn’t normally like people who don’t have pets, because those people don’t like animals, and it translated wrong.

It’s belly dancing time! In her interview, Terra says the belly dancing will help her crush it on DWTS. Elena says dancing isn’t her thing, even though she does it after a couple of cocktails. Terra asks the instructor if anyone has ever gone into labor during a lesson and she says not yet. This looks like it’s probably good exercise. In her interview, Briana says the dancing makes her feel confident and relaxed, but it might be because Christy isn’t there.

Afterward. Terra thanks everyone for coming and says she’s glad they’re able to enjoy this moment as friends. She asks Jasmine what the stank face is for, and Jasmine says she wonders if they are friends. She tells Terra about how she said she normally doesn’t like people who don’t have animals. Terra says she meant it as a compliment. In her interview, Terra admits she says offensive sh*t all the time, but that wasn’t one of those times. I’m thinking that Tonya didn’t mean for Jasmine to talk to Terra in front of everyone. Elena says this is the most stupid thing she’s ever heard. Jasmine says she felt judged after she thought they were on a good path. It’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard too.

Tonya gets involved and brings up Briana being upset about her saying she hoped Briana’s baby was little. This is how things get out of control. Too much input. Tonya explains her comment, but it’s not going over too well. Instead of clarifying things, it’s only adding fuel to the fire. It’s certainly not mending things with Briana. Briana says both of her children are taller than she is and there’s no problem. Somehow this all leads into Tonya saying that Matt is disrespectful. Elena jumps in and in her interview, Terra wonders how this got to the topic of Briana’s parenting skills. Jasmine says that it was taken the wrong way and Tonya says that’s why she’s explaining it and it’s just her opinion anyway. I can’t help but be distracted by Jasmine’s awesome earrings. She always wears crazy dangling things with feathers and sparkles.

Terra starts to talk and Tonya says she wan’t talking about her. In her interview, Tonya says this is Terra’s fault in the first place. Jasmine and Elena think Terra should apologize, but I’ve forgotten for what at this point.

Next time, Christy’s mom gets a make-over, Christy asks for help in making peace, Joe can’t make Terra’s pre-op appointment, and baby number two arrives.

👻 Re: American Horror Story: Roanoke (?). I guess the theme is a reenactment of The Children of the Blair Witch? I am enjoying it, and happen to like reenactment shows, but none of them is as professional as this looks.

💋 I’m looking forward to FOX’s interpretation of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on October 20. Check out my archives for my post on how I started the RHPS cult. Don’t believe me? Take a look at Sal Piro‘s book Creatures of the Night. I’m on page 5 (I think). A friend of mine and I were the first ones to throw confetti. The one thing all the retrospective RHPS tales leave out is how high everyone was. The idea was that if we threw confetti from the balcony at the same time they did in the movie, the people below us would think they were in the movie. Does that sound like straight thinking to you? While times have changed and there’s no going home to the spontaneity again, I look back on that time fondly. I do have to admit I thought it was a phase that wouldn’t last, but it’s a pleasant surprise to see that there are new Frankie fans even in 2016.


Extra! Extra! I Started the Rocky Horror Show Cult


While these aren’t exactly random, rambling thoughts on what I watched today, in honor of the 40th anniversary, HBO is having a midnight showing. Not quite the same as seeing it in the theatre, but an homage all the same.

Gather around, children, and you shall hear of the midnight show called Rocky Horror. I’ve often thought that I should write about it, and the time is now. Since I was just totally ignored by the new generation.

It was my first week in NYC. I was young, headed to acting school and the world was my oyster. A friend of mine had come along on the moving trip to get in a little R&R. My family was staying a couple of days and he was staying two weeks, but I was there permanently.  We were hanging out at a gay bar called The Ninth Circle in Greenwich Village, getting our drink on and meeting people. One of the people hanging out with us was the manager at the New Yorker movie theatre uptown. The Rocky Horror Picture Show had recently started its midnight run. He asked if we would like to go, tickets on him. I didn’t know much about it, but knew it was a musical, as I had seen the soundtrack for the L.A. production.

“Is it a horror film?” I asked.

“That depends on what you’re scared of,” he answered.

I was definitely intrigued and game for anything, so he told us to pick up the tickets at the box office that Friday night. He also handed us a joint. Smoke a joint? In a movie theatre? I wasn’t exactly naïve, but I had never heard of such a thing. Apparently, I wasn’t in Kansas Ohio anymore.

There weren’t too many people there, and my friend was pretty exhausted. He promptly fell asleep, leaving me to my own deductions, and an entire joint. At first, I didn’t know what to make of it, and it wasn’t because of the pot. When I saw Brad Majors (Barry Bostwick) dancing backward in a graveyard, I thought, Is this a joke? But by the end of the film, I thought if it was a joke, it was a well-written one.

A few weeks went by, my friend went back to Ohio, and I was already meeting loads of new people. The RHPS had stuck in my mind though, and I really wanted to see it again. I got together a few new friends, and we decided we would go to the Waverly in Greenwich Village, rather than schlep all the way uptown.

It was a totally different atmosphere there, crowded, the crowd brimming with excitement. We staked our claim on some balcony seats. At the time, there were no fans dressing up or yelling things, but there were a lot of joints being passed.

Rocky Horror had a highly addictive property, and it wasn’t the weed. It was a well-crafted film, to be sure. (Although, don’t shoot me, I actually think Richard O’Brien’s Shock Treatment is better and more relevant in a lot of ways.) The music is excellent, no stone left unturned in detail, and it couldn’t have been cast any better. But there was more to it than that. In 1976, the idea of “don’t dream it, be it” had found its perfect home in New York City. It was the right time at the right place.

At the time, I had also found the perfect home. While NYC will always be one of the greatest cities in the world, in the late 70s and early 80s, it was still affordable, and I’d landed there like Columbus discovering the New World. I was attending morning classes at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts (less impressive than it sounds) and living in the Webster Apartments, a women’s residence on West 34th Street. It was a cross between a dormitory and a Tennessee Williams play. Rooms with sinks, shared bathrooms on each floor, two meals a day included, and no men above the first floor (unless you were my dad, who insisted on inspecting it when I first arrived). If a guy showed up, you received a phone call from the front desk telling you that you had a “gentleman caller” and there were rooms on the first floor called “beau parlors” where you could receive your male company. You could also have a guy over for dinner, but he had to wear a jacket between October and May. If he didn’t have one, it could be provided for him at the desk, and that orange jacket got a lot of play from my friends. If you missed a meal, you could get a voucher for a friend, and broke friends need to eat. The meals were surprisingly good, cafeteria style, and there was often a sundae bar. Women weren’t excluded from the dress code either. While you were free to wear what you liked during the week, there were rules for the early Sunday dinner and you had to wear either a skirt or a pants suit. My grandmother had given me a polyester pants suit that I’m sure she thought was very chic (it wasn’t) and I can’t count the times I rolled out of bed on Sunday and into that suit and downstairs for the meal. It wasn’t always the most convenient place to live, but it was great for starting out and a good place to meet other women. I met my eventual roommate, Anna, there, who also became my cohort in Rocky Horror crime.

We started going downtown to the Waverly every Friday and Saturday. The line was long, the excitement was high (no pun intended), and I’m sure every merchant on West 4th Street hated us. Since the movie had originally bombed and been shelved, there was no soundtrack for the film, but the soundtrack for the LA Roxy cast was still available, so I immediately got a copy. We would often act out the musical numbers in our rooms after coming home. It wasn’t long before our private shows translated into audience participation.

The first person to dress up has never been mentioned in any of the books. I don’t know his name; otherwise, I’d totally give him props. One night, when it got to the part where Frankie asks if Janet heard “a bell ring,” someone in the balcony rang a bell, causing us all to convulse into laughter. I noticed the guy was dressed up like Eddie, the motorcyclist jazz musician played by Meat Loaf in the film. Afterwards, I sought him out and complimented him on his costume, which included the LOVE/HATE tattoos on Eddie’s knuckles. I asked him if they were real. “I’m a psychiatrist,” he told me. “If they were, my patients might get a little disconcerted.” Good point.

RHPS was a little like therapy, a way to let off some steam, without waking up with a hangover. At least I didn’t. I don’t know what other people were doing. Ironically, it was both therapeutic and addictive; both the rehab and the habit. We had made our home in the balcony, and made friends we saw week after week. The party started in the line that stretched down the block, where we waited to get in. We were always early, getting ready by nine and out by ten.

Louis, who sat in our row, was the first one to shout back at the screen. As Janet holds a newspaper over her head in the pouring rain, he yelled out, “Buy an umbrella, you cheap bitch!” A line that lives on to this day.

I went home for Christmas break, and it wasn’t long after my return that I got my first apartment, on West 27th Street, not far from where I was already. We walked most of my stuff over. I had a roommate for a while, a woman I had met at Webster, but it didn’t last very long. She had trouble adjusting to the city and decided to move back home. By then, I had my first job at Chargit. They took ticket orders for Broadway shows before Ticketmaster was the place to go. I’m sure it got absorbed by them at some point. Anna moved in with me, making it easier for us to be Rocky Horror fangirls together.

Our place was even decorated in early Rocky Horror. We purchased everything we could get our hands on. There wasn’t much merchandising , and certainly nothing like there is now. The only T-shirt you could get was one being sold at the record store near the Waverly.  It was black with the dripping words The Rocky Horror Show, sans Picture because it was from a stage play. My guess is that the store bought out someone’s stock and made a nice buck.  There were a couple of tchotchkes that had come with the Roxy soundtrack, but the Mecca of Rocky Horror movie stills, lobby cards and posters was Jerry Ohlinger’s Movie Material Store. We bought practically everything they had.

We also knew a couple who lived out in Queens, but attended the midnight show at the Waverly. He was a photographer and often took stills of the screen during the movie that he made into 8 x 10s.  I still have those stills (ha-ha). The best part was that no one else had those same pictures. When fans started selling buttons and T-shirts, we got those too.

People were starting to dress up, and found glitter platforms, fishnet gloves and stockings, and feather boas at the hooker stores in Times Square. NYC has everything, so costumes were not that difficult to put together. While Anna and I always dressed fabulously, we didn’t wear costumes and Rocky makeup as a general rule. Speaking of which, it’s so much easier today to find black lipstick and eye shadow. Back then, it was nearly impossible. We found it, but it took some work. We did do the full Rocky regalia one night when we were having an after party. I wasn’t about to wear a garter belt and fishnets on the subway, but I had this incredible 1940s black velvet coat with a beaver fur collar that I’d gotten for ten bucks at Trash & Vaudville on St. Mark’s Place and I wore it over my outfit.

Our apartment wasn’t big – a railroad flat, two rooms and a bathroom – but mostly college and acting students lived there, so no one cared about the late night noise, guests spilling out into the hall, or the funny smelling cigarettes some people were smoking. At one point, there was a banging on the door with the shout, “Open up! Police!” but it was only our upstairs neighbor, Jeff, wanting in on the fun. Later on, he became known as “Naked Jeff.”

After a night of such fine partying that someone drank the bong water (no, it was neither one of us), we had the brilliant idea to watch the sun rise from the apartment rooftop. What we forgot to think about was the height of our building, which was considerably shorter than those surrounding it. No sun rise for us, but we still enjoyed ourselves, chatting, smoking and wandering around. Until Jeff scared us half to death. All of a sudden, his head was peeking over the edge of the roof, which none of us had expected. He actually had every right to scare us, since we’d woke him up. As he came up the fire escape, we realized he wasn’t wearing anything. He wasn’t about to put on any clothes either, but at least he wasn’t mad, and hung out (literally) with us for a while as we watched the sun not rise.

Oh yeah, how it started. The first row of the balcony put you more on the level of the screen, and without seeing other audience members, gave you a certain intimacy with the film. One night, after Frankie sings I’m Going Home, several of us spontaneously stood up and applauded, along with the audience in the movie. It felt like we were in the movie. And that’s how the thought started. How fun it would be, I told Anna, if we tossed confetti during the Frankie/Rocky wedding scene, at the same time they do it on screen. It will fall on the audience below us and they’ll really feel like they’re a part of the movie. I was going back to Ohio for vacation and I’d also wanted to do something special, since I wouldn’t be at the Waverly for a while.

The audience was thrilled and, although it wasn’t the intention, the confetti throwing took off. Anna calls it a “private joke gone public,” and I tend to agree. When I got a letter (yes! we actually put pen to paper and wrote letters back then!) from my sister, who lived near a midnight showing in Cleveland Heights, telling me they were throwing confetti in the theatre there, I was astonished. Imagine my surprise that this even exists 40 years later, all over the world.

The confetti birthed holding newspapers over our heads when Janet did. The paper they hold in the film is the Plain Dealer and I was able to get copies from my father, and I gave them out. I recently sold the last one on eBay for $19.76, in honor of the first year I saw RHPS. Although several people tried it (not me!), it was a no-no to be holding candles so close to newspapers in a movie theatre (that pesky fire code), so that gave way to flashlights. Costumes started coming out, and a mini floor show. Lines were consistently being thrown back at the dialogue on screen. Some stuck and some didn’t. Luckily I got out of there before throwing toast and hotdogs started happening.

One night, after discussing how ridiculous it was that this was our entire social life, Anna and I decided to see another film. Had it been better – I believe it was The Excorcist 2; the title says it all – maybe we wouldn’t have still ended up at RHPS, but we did. By this time, we were getting in for free, although I have a ribbon with hundreds of ticket stubs attached to it. The film was already in progress, and as we approached the balcony stairs, there was a literal wall of smoke. We sat on the steps (breaking another fire code, I’m sure), spending another Saturday night the way we always did.

Probably about a year in, the floor show started to gain more prominence. The film itself started to gain more prominence. It had also lost a certain amount of spontaneity. It became kind of how socialism is good in theory, but someone always wants more and turns it into communism. A few people wanted to take charge of something that had taken flight from a genuine want to make the audience equal with the film. Individuality — don’t dream it, be it – was what the movie was all about for me, and it was time to move along.

Anna and I did attend one of the anniversaries, where our picture was also taken for Sal Piro’s book, Creatures of the Night. A great read – I highly recommend it, as well as his sequel.  Although our perspectives differ somewhat, it’s a wonderful depiction of the phenomenon that RHPS became. He certainly doesn’t mention weed – and for all I know, he was squeaky clean back then; we didn’t really hang out together – and that was a big part of it. Hey, it was a big part of the 70s.

I’ve had a bootleg copy since the first one was made, but there’s nothing like seeing it on the big screen with those who are like-minded. Before I moved away from the city, Sal called and asked me to come to an anniversary event (the 20th?). Since my husband was a “virgin,” I thought it would be fun. And it was, but in some ways, it had already become homogenized. Little bags of props were being sold, along with rice for the wedding in the beginning. The audience also seemed to have a comeback for every line in the film. To me, this lessened the experience of the movie itself. If everyone was just waiting for their cue, how could they be comprehending what was on screen?

I can assure you, I’ve never once introduced myself like I need a 12-step program. Hello. I’m Theresa and I started the Rocky Horror Show cult. Although it has bumped into me along the way. Like the night at karaoke when it came up in conversation. This led to someone thinking I was making it up. Now there was a surprise. Who in their right mind would make something like that up? If I was going to choose my 15 minutes, it wouldn’t have been that. But to save my reputation, I brought  Sal’s book with me the next time I was there. Even after all these years, it’s obvious that’s me. The even weirder thing was, someone mentioned it to the KJ who was working the sound. It turned out he was there at the Waverly back in the day. Talk about a small world.

I was almost at the 40th anniversary in Manhattan this weekend, but decided to write this instead and save my money for Halloween. Seeing it was sold out, I shot an email to the person in charge, asking for them to take pity on a RHPS “pioneer” (Sal’s term), and writing a little anecdote, along with a copy of the picture from the book. I could have heard an internet pin drop. They replied, but what they said was it was sold out, but I could get tickets for the midnight show at the Ziegfeld and sent me a link to the movie theatre. Ouch! Not even a nice-to-meet-you.

I got a follow up email, telling me someone was looking to sell their weekend pass, but I decided to take a pass, telling them thanks, but no thanks.

And with that, I officially retire my corset.