What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
I’ve consistently missed the beginning of the show every day this week, so why end the week any differently? <sigh> Sonny is taking Mike for a walk in the hallway, Molly has shown up to confront Jordan about TJ, and Doc pays Cyrus a visit.
On the phone Robert says, there’s nothing to be happy about, but the law doesn’t give them many choices. Laura says, that didn’t sound good, and he says, the information is going to be sent to Cyrus’s lawyers, who will ask for a writ of habeas corpus. Then a judge will look at it, and Cyrus walks. Laura says, that’s completely unacceptable. She won’t have that monster roaming free on the streets of Port Charles. He asks how she plans to stop him, and she says, watch her.
Sonny tells Mike, he’s got him, and Carly says they can come back. Brando says he just wanted to thank Mike for the summer at the track. He was ten years old, and obsessed with horses. Mike told him it ran in the family. Carly says, that sounds like Mike, and Mike says, Brando. Glady’s son. He remembers. Is Brando passing through? Carly says, Sonny is helping Brando open a garage in Port Charles. Mike says, good, and Sonny says, Brando is a nice guy. Brando says it was nice of Mike, and Mike says he appreciates him stopping by. He’s a little tired, so can Brando come by again some other time? Brando says he’d like that, and Carly tells Mike to get some rest. They’ll be there. Sonny walks Mike back to his room, and says it was a nice surprise visit. Mike says he doesn’t know Brando.
Curtis gets that Molly is upset, but it’s out of their hands. It’s time to accept it’s out of hers. TJ is a grown man, and taking time for himself. If the situations were reversed, TJ would respect her privacy. Molly says she’d make sure someone got a message to TJ, and not completely shut him out. Curtis says they don’t like how TJ is handling it, but it’s time they were all patient. She says she’s done being patient. TJ completely ghosted her, and is ignoring her texts and calls. She knows he’s disappointed, but this is vindictive and mean. Jordan says they don’t know where he is, and Molly says TJ is responding to Jordan, and asks if she’ll give him a message. She’s tired of the cold shoulder. They’re better than this, and they need to talk. Jordan says she’ll give TJ a message, but can’t guarantee when he’ll get back to Molly. Molly says Jordan knows how much she loves TJ, and Jordan says, she does, but right now, love isn’t enough. Molly says she’ll give TJ 24 hours, and then she’ll start a search herself. She’ll get Sam and Spinelli to help, and she’ll take out an ad in The Invader; have you seen this man? Jordan tells her to stop acting like a child.
On the phone, Laura tells someone she wants it as soon as possible. Robert asks if she’s going to keep him in suspense, or tell him. She says she’ll tell him when the time is right, and he says he hates being blindsided. She says Mac is out following leads on the warehouse and waterfront shootings, hoping they find something that ties it into Cyrus. Robert says, it’s more likely they won’t be able to, and Laura saysm the goal is to keep Cyrus locked up long enough to find evidence to make the charges stick. He says, suppose she succeeds? They know Cyrus can run his operation from behind bars. Laura says she told him that she wants to keep Cyrus locked up, but not in Pentenville.
Cyrus says, they brought in a shrink to get inside his head? Let him help Doc. No, he didn’t like to pull the wings off of flies. Doc says, but he did it anyway? Cyrus says they both know that’s not what he means, and Doc asks, what does he mean? Cyrus asks if this is how it’s going to go, and Doc says Cyrus’s first impulse was to insist he didn’t do something he thought Doc might ask about. Why that specific question? Cyrus says it’s what people like him ask, and Doc says, people like him; psychiatrists? Cyrus says, no, Methodists. I see we have another comedian behind bars. Doc says he’s interviewed many criminals like Cyrus, and Cyrus says, everyone wants to see what makes him tick. Why is that? Doc says he read Cyrus’s file. Cyrus says, and Doc has a fascination with him. Doc says, not necessarily fascination, and Cyrus says, but at least a healthy interest. He’s sure Doc has somewhere else he could be, but here he is. Doc says Cyrus’s second assessment was correct; an interest, not a fascination. Doc says he’s interviewed a lot like of men like Cyrus, and Cyrus says, but Doc has never met anyone like him.
Sam tells Jason that Spinelli followed Delores to her rendezvous. She’s having an affair with a councilmen, but they caught Spinelli taking pictures. Jason asks if it was in a hotel or motel, and Sam says, in the back of her car. Not the most discreet, but Delores threatened to arrest and charge Spinelli if he didn’t keep her secret. This also made it worse for Sam. Now Delores is determined to find something that will get her ass thrown back Pentenville. Jason says it’s time to stop looking for a way out; she was lucky she wasn’t thrown back in. She says her mom said the same thing, and he says she’s got to listen. If she thinks waiting is bad, it will be worse if she has to finish the rest of her sentence back in prison. Sam says they won’t see each other for a year and half. Is that what he wants? He says, no, but that’s what has to happen to keep her out of prison.
Mike tells Sonny, they’re trying to get one over on him, pretending they’re family. He needs Sonny to do something. Tell his boss that he needs to have security keep an eye on those two. Whoever they are, they’re up to no good.
Brando asks Carly if Mike is always like that, and she says, pretty much. She’s glad Mike recognized him, and he says, him too. That summer at the track is a good memory. She says, as Mike slips away, it’s important to remember the man he was. He says, Sonny is patient with him, and seems devoted. She says, when Mike was first diagnosed, Sonny worried that he couldn’t handle it, and couldn’t do what Mike needed. She never had any doubt. Family is everything to Sonny.
Molly says, it’s not being childish to want answers, but Jordan say she’s behaving like brat. Because TJ isn’t talking to her, she wants to call TV stations. She needs to get over it. She doesn’t want to see that her actions have consequences. She broke TJ’s heart, and he doesn’t want to be with her.
Doc tells Cyrus, that’s an intriguing statement. Does Cyrus think he’s more dangerous than other prisoners? Cyrus asks if that’s what Doc would like him to think, and Doc says he wants to know what Cyrus thinks. Is he more dangerous, or more of a threat? Cyrus tells Doc, he said he was more interesting, and Doc says, so he’s not dangerous? Cyrus says, he didn’t say that. Doc writes something, and Cyrus asks if Doc thinks he’s got him figured out. Doc says he’s documenting Cyrus’s veiled threat. When he asked if Cyrus was more dangerous, he refused to confirm it. Cyrus says, Doc thinks that’s a threat? and Doc says, a veiled one. It’s like when someone says, nice car. It would be a shame if something happened to it. Cyrus says, if he threatens Doc, he’ll know it. Cyrus wonders if he can ask Doc a question, and Doc says, of course (🍷); ask away. He asks if Doc could be perceiving an innocuous statement as a threat because of a manifestation of his own insecurities. Doc says, touché. He bets Cyrus is an excellent chess player. Cyrus says he never loses. Doc says, it’s been insightful, and thanks him. Cyrus says Doc never told him why he’s there. Doc says he’s doing a study about men behind bars, specifically solitary confinement. He’s been speaking to a lot prisoners. Cyrus has been helpful. Cyrus says, Doc’s name is Collins? Doc says, it’s a common name, but Cyrus probably recognizes it because his wife is the mayor. Cyrus says, Laura. She’s the reason he’s in solitary. Doc says, is she? Cyrus says, be sure to send his regards, and Doc leaves.
Trina tells Ava, after her dad died, Jordan went back over the files, and says her dad faked evidence. She told the Justice Department, and they’re going to let Cyrus out of prison. Ava says, that’s unlikely; it would be a major reversal. Trina says she doesn’t know the legal term, but her father is dead, and Cyrus is going to be out. How is that justice? The media is going to trash her dad, when he’s not a bad cop. Her father was a good man. Ava says she didn’t have a chance to know him, but from what Trina has said, she bets there’s only one person whose opinion mattered to him – Trina’s.
Jason takes Sam’s hands. He says it doesn’t matter how much they hate this. What’s important is she’s free, and home safe with the kids. She says, of course (🍷) it’s important, but so is finding a way to be together. He asks if it’s worth the risk? Her chance of going back to prison is worse than ever, especially now. She asks, what’s going on? and he says, Cyrus is attacking Sonny on all fronts. Out here, he can make sure she’s protected, but if she goes back, she’ll be in the middle of a war zone. Is Pentenville a co-ed prison?
Sam says she thought Sonny was handling Cyrus, and Jason says he’s working on it. It’s tough. Cyrus is powerful, and has a lot of people. Sam asks what that means, and he says, Sonny and Cyrus handle things differently. There are things Sonny won’t do that cross the line, and there’s no line Cyrus won’t cross. No one is off limits. Sam says she knows. He kidnapped Cameron and Trina, and used them as leverage. He says, they weren’t the only ones. Cyrus has TJ Ashford.
Brando tells Carly, he mostly focused on the horses, but he got the impression that Mike and Sonny weren’t close. Mike was sorry for that. Carly says, if Mike hadn’t gotten sick, Sonny would have been okay with the distance. They both would have, but with Alzheimer’s, the distance isn’t up to them. You have to fight for every single moment. Brando says he doesn’t think he could do it, and Carly prays he never had to find out what it’s like. Sonny wanted to make peace with Mike before he slips away. Brando says, as much as he wasn’t happy at first about them keeping him there, he has to admit, it’s been good to connect with family. Carly says they enjoy having him there, even though they’re taking time to get to know him. Brando needs to get back to the shop, and Carly says she’s good. He leaves, and someone with very LOUD shoes goes by. Sonny comes back, and says he just left his dad. Mike doesn’t know who Brando is.
Ava tells Trina, nothing and no one can tarnish the love her father had for her. He’s her hero, and that’s all that matters. In a way, Taggert is Ava’s hero too. Trina says Ava didn’t know him, but Ava says she knows Trina. Her father saved her. He put his love for her above everything else, even his own life. That’s the true test of a hero and parent, putting everything aside for their child. Trina wishes there had been some other way, and Ava says she knows how important it is for Trina to keep her father on a pedestal. Trina says she didn’t put him there; it’s just where he always was. He was always a hero to her.
Molly tells Jordan, her not wanting to get married to anyone has nothing to do with how much she loves TJ. Jordan says, maybe not, but TJ gave her his heart and life, and she threw it back in his face. He got the message. She made a choice that served her, and didn’t care about TJ’s feelings. Molly says, that’s not true, and Jordan says Molly could have fooled her. Molly says Jordan made her point, and Jordan says, has she? Before Molly launches a search, remember TJ didn’t leave; she pushed him away. Molly says she’s got it. She never expected to break up with TJ, and she sure didn’t expect him do it through his mother. She leaves, and Jordan leans against the door. She tells Curtis, she had to do it. She had to stop Molly from searching. Curtis says, it will be okay, and she says she prays it worked.
Sonny tells Carly, his dad was scared. He thought Brando was going to hurt him. He wants Sonny to tell his bosses to beef up security. Carly says she’s so sorry, and Sonny says he’s got to go tell his dad that his boss is getting more men. He laughs, and she asks if there’s anything she can do to help? He says she’s done a lot already, and thanks her.
There’s a knock at the garage door, and Brando opens it to Molly. He says they’re closed, and she says, of course (🍷). It’s that kind of day. She guesses she’ll have to call a tow. She drives a hybrid, since it’s better for the environment. He asks what she hit, and she says, nothing; she went over a curb. The undercarriage is making a grating noise, and she doesn’t want to wreck the engine. He asks if there was any chance she was drinking, and she says she wishes; she’s totally sober. He asks if any other cars were involved, and if she needs the police, but she says it was just her. Sorry to bother him. She should have called a tow to begin with since the garage was closed. He says, on second thought, he’ll check it out.
Laura asks how it went, and Doc tells her, as expected. Cyrus is a narcissist. He made a subtle, veiled threat when his pride was hurt. He took exception to Doc minimizing how dangerous he was. She asks if they can lock him up, and Doc says, he’s sane. Under ordinary circumstances, he’d be opposed to that, but he has no problem recommending that he be moved to a psychological facility under medical supervision. Robert comes in and asks if that’s the plan. Laura asks how much he heard, and he says, enough to know it’s not going to work. Laura says she can have Cyrus transferred to Ferncliff, and Robert asks, for how long? She says they can keep him long enough for an extensive evaluation. Long enough to come up with a fresh case against him. Robert says Cyrus’s lawyers are going to take one look, and see it’s a ploy to keep Cyrus behind bars. Laura says she’ll argue that she wants him to get the care he needs. Robert says, and Doc will argue that it’s in his best interest. Doc says, exactly, and Laura says she’s not above doing what she has to, to keep Cyrus off the street, including having him committed. Robert says, it’s not going to work.
Mike recognizes Sonny, and asks, what took so long? Sonny apologizes, and Mike says, it’s all right; Sonny is there now. He hates hospitals. Can Sonny get him out? He just wants to go home. Sonny says, as soon as the doctors say it’s okay, he’ll take Mike back to Turning Woods. He remembers Turning Woods, right? Mike says, it’s a great place, but after that they get to go home, right? He doesn’t want to be around these people anymore; it doesn’t feel right. Sonny tells him to rest, and Mike says he’s tired. Sonny says, take a break. Close his eyes, and don’t worry. They’ll be waiting. Mike takes Sonny’s hands, and says, everything is going be all right. Sonny will see when they get back Bensonhurst; it will be all right. Mike lies down, closes his eyes, and drifts off.
Sonny goes back out, and Carly asks how Mike is doing. Sonny doesn’t know, and tells her to go home; he’s got to stay tonight. She says she knows how hard it is when Mike doesn’t recognize him, but Sonny says, he did. He knew Sonny’s name, the whole thing; he was great. Sonny sits down, and says, his dad wanted him to take him back to Bensonhurst. He looked Sonny in the eye, and he hasn’t done that in days. He said all he wants to do is go home.
Brando tells Molly, it’s not bad. It just needs some front end work. She asks if she should take it to the dealership, and he says, it’s up to her. She says he was nice enough to take a look, and she’d rather give him the business, assuming he can do the repair. He says, sure, and she says he doesn’t sound enthusiastic. He says he’s happy for the business, but she didn’t chose to come there, and he wasn’t recommend. She came out of desperation, and he doesn’t want to take advantage of that.
Ava says, any time Trina wants to talk, or even if she doesn’t, she’s available. Right now though, she’d like Trina to do something for her. Trina says, name it, and Ava says, call her mother. Let her know she’s safe. Ava knows what it’s like to worry about a daughter, no matter how angry she is. Trina takes out her phone, and calls. Ava gives her privacy.
Curtis tells Jordan, Molly will get over it, but Jordan says she can’t get over the look on Molly’s face. He says, when this is over, Molly will know Jordan was trying to protect her, and understand that Jordan loves her. She says here’s hoping it worked. Not just for Molly. Everyone needs to believe TJ is just dealing with rejection and disappeared. Curtis says, it makes sense, and she says she has to break Molly’s heart and destroy the reputations of the finest agents she’s ever met to make sure Cyrus and his drug dealing are off the streets.
Brando tells Molly, there’s no website yet; he just opened. She asks if it was a surprise, and he says he didn’t plan on opening a garage, not in Port Charles anyway. Long story. She says she loves them; the more convoluted, the better. He asks if she’s a novelist, and she says she’s a published author. She was sixteen at the time. He says, that’s even more impressive, and she says, it was a romance novel. Looking back, it was arrogant to think she could write about life and love, when she knew nothing. He asks if she still writes, but she says, not any more. Now she’s a law student. He says, so if she doesn’t like the repair, she’ll sue him. She asks if he can repair it, and he says he can. She says, at a fair price? and he says, absolutely. She says she’ll have no grounds. He says not to act grateful yet. He hasn’t drawn up the estimate. She says, it’s the perfect rotten end of a perfectly rotten day.
Trina tells Ava, her mom was glad she checked in, and Ava says she’s sure Portia would like to keep Trina at home, and not let Trina out of her sight. Trina says, normally, she’d hate that, but now, it’s not so bad. All of it is going to be coming out; the evidence her dad supposedly planted. It will be all over the news, and his name will be dirt. She’ll be the only one who remembers what a good man he was. Ava says, even if everyone loses faith, Trina won’t, and she’s the only person who matters. Trina says, it doesn’t feel like enough, and Ava says, she is; she was for him. Her father left behind an incredible legacy. Not just with his work as a cop, but with the way Trina saw him walk through the world. He shaped her, and she’s extraordinary. Trina is his legacy. They hug.
Curtis promises it will end, and Jordan will take Cyrus out. She wonders what’s taking so long. They have everything they need for Cyrus to vacate. He says she knows how it goes. They have to get the order in front of a judge. She says, and once they do, the most evil man she’s ever known is going to go free.
Laura asks if Robert is suggesting they just sit back and let Cyrus go free. He says the justice system isn’t perfect, but they can’t disrespect it. Doc says, not even if it was a random drug lord, whose body count was strangers? It’s a legitimate course of action. Robert says, it’s nothing to be happy about, but they have to get used to the fact Cyrus is getting out. And when he does, Laura will be in his crosshairs for what she did to him in Pentenville. Laura says she’s not worried about herself, but her city. Port Charles is going to see a spike in drug trafficking. She asks if there’s any other option to delay Cyrus’s release.
Sonny tells Carly, he thought watching his father fade away would be the hardest part. His father knowing him, looking him in the eye, father to son, and pleading that all he wants to do is go home; it’s the one thing Sonny can’t give him. This is hell. He can’t do it. Carly holds him, and says, yes, he can. She’s got him.
On Monday – tomorrow they’ll be airing their 56th Anniversary episode (originally aired on April 3rd, 2019) – Josslyn wants to find Trina, Jason tells Sam that he can’t do this anymore, and Carly asks Sonny what the hell he’s going to do.
🩹 The Hospital Skinny…
More on what’s to come for GH’s schedule.
The Real Housewives of New York City
We begin with the news of Bethenny’s exit, and how the cast found out, since apparently, Bethenny didn’t let anyone know. She could be caustic, but she was also intelligent, funny, and knew her way around a kitchen. And most important, every once in a while, blew her stack and said what was on all our minds. Life. Is. Not. A. Cabaret. Sonja feels abandoned all over again, and Ramona thinks it will be better; the women will be freer in spirit. In LeeAnn’s interview, a producer asks how she feels. LuAnn says, it’s hard to say. She’ll miss Bethenny, but the show must go on – without her.
LuAnn leaves the criminal court building, accompanied by Sonja. They hug on the steps, and LuAnn says, it’s finally over. She stops by a coffee cart on the corner, telling Sonja it’s her coffee guy. He says he thought she was finished, and in her interview, she says, it’s finally over; her probation is finished. It’s been almost two years. We flash back to LuAnn looking sad in court, and explaining to the others that she had to use a breathalyzer to drive. She says what people don’t understand is that she wasn’t fully present. This was always on her mind. It’s like someone lifted a ton of bricks. They sit and chat, and Sonja says, when LuAnn was first arrested, she didn’t care. She hit bottom, and thought things were great. Then she started becoming a cabaret star, and she wasn’t there for them. LuAnn says, what about her? Ugh. Same old. Sonja says she treated them like fans. In Sonja’s interview, she lists some of the ways LuAnn was a brat last season. The tantrum in the fish room, dumping Sonja after the AA meeting to go see her own poster, and coming back without truffle fries. That’s the real misdemeanor. LuAnn didn’t understand Sonja’s pain. As they hug, Sonja eats a pretzel behind LuAnn’s back.
Tinsley meets friend, and new cast member, Leah at the gym. In Tinsley’s interview, she says the summer was all about her. She moved on from Scott, worked on her lash line, and went to China, bringing back two puppies, Strawberry and Shortcake. She’s been focusing on herself, and it feels liberating. She met Leah a couple months ago, and Leah brings out her wilder side. She says what she feels, and has no filter. She also has a twelve-year-old daughter. Tinsley takes her hoops off, saying she feels like she’s losing part of herself. Boxing trainer Martin says, nobody gives a f***. After the session, Tinsley and Leah sit and talk. Tinsley tells Leah that she only knew Chicago through Scott, but met Bruce while she was there. She doesn’t like his name, but she can’t change it. He’s been married twice and has three kids. In her interview, Tinsley thinks it’s the best way to have children; she can give them back. She tells Leah, she’s usually all-in immediately, but it’s the first time she’s being guarded, and not thinking too far ahead. Leah says she’s enjoying being single. She and her last boyfriend went to France, and on the flight home she asked what was going on with his divorce. He said it was on hold, so she told him that her p*ssy was on hold too. Ha! Good one.
Dorinda is still with John, and she’s prepping for his cooking class – i.e. her teaching him how to make lasagna. She tells him the doctor says she’s healing like a twenty-year-old, and he says she still acts like a twenty-year-old. In her interview, Dorinda says Carson Kressley was teaching her some Dancing with the Stars moves at a dinner party, flung her over a balcony, and she broke a rib. There was no mention as to whether alcohol was involved. She tells John, it forced her to look at things, and become dependent on him. In Dorinda’s interview, she says her injury made it necessary for her and John to spend time together. It’s been good, but weird; she’s not used to it. She confirms that familiarity breeds contempt. They make lasagna, and Dorinda tells him about LuAnn. She doesn’t know why it’s a big deal. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she and LuAnn are in a good place, but their friendship had gone off the tracks. We flash back to mostly Dorinda being mean to LuAnn, and yelling, Jovani! during LuAnn’s cabaret show. She says, they’ve both transitioned to better places, and she’s not overthinking it.
Ramona meets friends Maria, Missy and Elyse, along with new neighbor/friend Mitchell, at a bar. In Ramona’s interview, she says she had a fabulous summer. She sold her condo, and has a new apartment on the Upper East Side, but she was living the Hamptons life. She admits she’s been escaping; masking something in her mind. She tells her friends that she feels like a youngster, but she’s sixty, and lacks direction. She feels empty and alone. In her interview, she says she has no important man in her life. Elyse says she’s surprised that Ramona feels that way, and Ramona starts to cry. Oh, yay. The bar buddy everyone wants. A weepy one. She says she wants a man to hold her, love her, and marry her, and doesn’t know if she’ll find one. I should add, an embarrassing bar buddy as well, since she’s LOUD.
Leah and daughter Kier go out to a juice bar. In her interview, Leah says, New York City is the best city in the world, and I tend to agree. She has a clothing line, Married to the Mob (which I’m actually familiar with), and lives with her daughter. They’re best friends, soulmates, and life partners. She doesn’t know if that’s healthy, but it’s the way it is. Kier is starting school soon, and Leah tells her to be herself, try her best, and don’t let the bitches get to her. Kier says her grandma told her that Leah was a horrible child. In Leah’s interview, she says their family situation isn’t traditional. Her baby daddy was her first love, and she thought they’d be together until they died, but they haven’t been together since Kier was two. Even so, he’s pretty much family.
Ramona visits Sonja, along with her pup Coco, who wants to romance Sonja’s pup Marley, even though there’s nothing they can ultimately do about it, since they’re fixed. Sonja says she’s been a recluse and has gas. Ramon tells Sonja not to send any of that her way. Sonja says she just took her daughter to college, and she lost it. In Sonja’s interview, she says when her daughter was in boarding school, she came home on weekends with her friends. The best Sonja can do now is be supportive about college, but she’s dying inside. Ramona says, when kids are away, they appreciate you more, and Sonja says she wants to give her daughter space. Sonja says, when she went to college, she flew the coop, and never looked back. The dogs continue to go at it.
Dorinda prepares for a party on the rooftop of Magic Hour restaurant. In her interview, she says she’s the entertainer of the group. You never know what you’ll get with Sonja, Ramona always invites the same thirty people, LuAnn’s parties always have a ticket booth out front, and who would Tinsley invite? Scott? We flash back to Dorinda calling Tinsley out on Scott and living in the hotel. Dorinda tells her makeup artist, Tinsley gave her a speech on how she didn’t want to hear conspiracy theories about her life, but she tells it like she sees it.
Tinsley tells her hair stylist that she’s anxious because she’s about to see the girls. The accusations about her and Scott are bullsh*t. We flash back to a Scott moment. In Tinsley’s interview, she wishes she understood why Dorinda is focused on her. Clearly something is going on in her own life that’s making her unhappy, so she’s projecting. Dorinda says she doesn’t know anything about Tinsley. The minute they go deep, Tinsley retracts like a turtle. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if Tinsley has the ability to open up, but they’re not cocktail party talkers; they’re bad bitches.
Tinsley brings Leah to Dorinda’s party, and Leah wonders if there are any eligible bachelors to pick up. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s good at parties. She brings people from all different places and professions, and throws them into a room like a crazy soup, then puts the heat on high. Tinsley refuses to clink glasses because Sonja and Leah aren’t drinking alcohol, and it’s bad luck. I think that applies only to water, but Tinsley lives in her own world. She puts a drink stirrer in her drink, and then sticks it in theirs to make it okay. New rule. In Leah’s interview, she says she and alcohol have a weird relationship. She didn’t drink for nine years, and then started again six months ago. She enjoys going crazy. We see a clip of her telling Tinsley that every twenty times, she’s a hot mess and takes a loser home, wondering how he got there the next morning. The other night she drank too much, and lost Chanel bag along with her passport, so she’s putting it on pause. Everyone comments on Dorinda’s fabulous new haircut, which really does flatter her. LuAnn says she has her life back. In her interview, LuAnn says, it’s hard to wrap her head around the fact she could have gone to jail for having a drink, and now she can do what she wants. She worked hard to get where she is, and doesn’t want to give it up. She’s Lu and improved. Tinsley introduces Leah to everyone.
Dorinda welcomes everyone. She says, another summer is over, and she wanted to have an end-of-the-summer party, since they scatter during the summer. She tells them that she has a big surprise, and drag queen Chelsea Piers comes out (no pun intended), and performs Feelin’ Jovani, while LuAnn fights for the spotlight. In LuAnn’s interview, she says obviously Dorinda has gotten past this. It’s not an olive branch; it’s the whole tree. In Leah’s interview, she says she has no clue what Jovani is, and looks it up on her phone, looking confused when she finds out it’s a clothing designer. I guess she’s never watched this show. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, she loves hard, fights hard, and forgives easily. It seems ridiculous now. Leah explains she’s a native New Yorker, and LuAnn says, but she looks so normal. Leah says she doesn’t see herself tied down, but Ramona says she wants to be tied down. (Leaving those jokes for someone else.) LuAnn tells Leah, they’re kind of old school, since they were both married a long time. Leah and LuAnn compare arrests, and oddly enough, both attacked police officers. In Leah’s interview, she says she ran into a guy she had a crush on 4th of July, 2002. She was mid-kiss when suddenly five cops were beating him up. Her kneejerk reaction was to hit a cop, and he punched her, then smashed her face into the subway grate. Nice. She sued and won, and decided she’d been making bad choices, so she’d be smart with the money, and used it for her brand.
Tinsley asks Dorinda to come outside and talk. They sit, and Tinsley says she feels like they were friends, but had issues, and she wants to have a lunch date where they can talk. Dorinda says, about Tinsley’s text on conspiracy theories, she’s always trying to pull information out of Tinsley. She saw Tinsley in January, when she’d said she wasn’t with Scott, and a week later, she was having dinner with him. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s about transparency. Tinsley has things going on, and they find out about them elsewhere. She thinks Tinsley is a riddle they’re never going to solve. She doesn’t know the answer. Tinsley wins. Inside, Sonja chats up hot guy William, who’s Ramona’s ex-lover. Sonja says Ramona is always going after her guys, so she’s turning the tables. She tells William that she’s not dating young guys, but if you don’t use it, you lose it. Leah doesn’t think he can handle Sonja. In her interview, Leah feels like William is the kind of guy who wouldn’t know his way around a woman’s body, rub you in the wrong place, and you’d have to explain it to him or he’ll just keep it up. Sonja says she doesn’t want to go home empty-handed. Wake up and smell the Sonja. Dorinda tells Tinsley, it’s not just her, but Tinsley says, actually, it is. Dorinda won’t listen to her, and keeps calling her a liar. Dorinda says, don’t put words in her mouth.
Dorinda tells Tinsley not to be tricky with her. Don’t ride up on her and make a statement. I have no idea what that means. Tinsley says she doesn’t give a sh*t, and what she thinks is that Dorinda doesn’t want to be her friend. Dorinda says she wants to know who Tinsley is, but Tinsley just wants to make a big statement, and it’s not going to work. Dorinda flounces off, and plops down next to LuAnn on a couch. She tells LuAnn that Tinsley came up on her hot, and told Dorinda not to be all gangster, but Dorinda said she is gangster. I think maybe she’s just mean. Tinsley said everybody knows her except Dorinda. Tinsley sits down in between Ramona and Leah, and says she only said she wanted to talk to Dorinda, and Dorinda said she was fake. In Tinsley’s interview, she says if she’s not talking, Dorinda says she’s hiding something, but if she asks for a private conversation, she’s fake. She can’t win. Leah asks, what’s going on? and Dorinda and Tinsley continue to bicker. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, she’s already been there, and the last thing she’s doing is inserting herself into this dog fight. She tries to switch seats with Tinsley, but Tinsley isn’t moving. Dorinda gets in Tinsley’s face, and tells her to shut her mouth. Leah asks if Tinsley is going to let Dorinda talk to her like that. Tinsley says she doesn’t care what Dorinda has to say, and Dorinda says, kindergarten is starting. In Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda is like the snake in Beetlejuice, but scarier and meaner. Dorinda says this is boring her, and starts to walk away, but her heel gets stuck. Tinsley says, don’t trip (totally missing the opportunity to say, have a nice trip; see you next fall). Dorinda gets up close and personal again, and says her heel got stuck. The difference is, she bought her shoes. She didn’t lie on her back for them. She twirls around, but not nearly as well as Kenya, and walks away. Tinsley says, you’re a jealous bitch, bitch.
And away we go.
This season – parties, costumes, Ramona on a swing, Sonja falling, Leah says they’re all hot effing messes, LuAnn is back at cabaret, Tinsley wants to move to Chicago, Dorinda pretends everything is okay, LuAnn forgot how good vodka tastes, a trip to Mexico, a trip to a cornfield, revisiting the fish room, LuAnn swears she never screwed the pirate, and Dale wonders what’s wrong with her and Tinsley?
👨🏽🍳 On Top Chef, comedian chefs Ali Wong and Randall Park, who met during a fried rice competition where they went to school, gave the chefs their quickfire challenge of creating a fried rice dish, the winning chef getting immunity. The chefs had thirty minutes to make the best damn fried rice that was creative and inventive. Given a display table of ingredients, they were also to use at least one ingredient from the choices. You’d have thought they were going for rolls of toilet paper, the way the chefs grabbed the components they wanted. Kevin was the winner, using flaming hot Cheetos, hot dogs, and bourbon. I assume it tasted better than it sounds, since Ali said it was like a party in her mouth.
The elimination challenge was next, with the chefs going to the Getty Museum for inspiration. The challenge was to interpret a work of art on a plate, using four movements; baroque, neoclassicism, renaissance, and rococo. Since Kevin won the Quickfire, he got to choose first, and selected baroque. The rest of the contestants took knives from a block, each with a movement on it. After the museum, it was on to Whole Foods to shop for ingredients. Someone pointed out LOUD shoes, and I had to laugh, since I’d just mentioned that in the GH recap, and I wonder if it’s a thing now. The chefs were to tell a story through their choice of ingredient, and Ludo Lefebvre was introduced as guest judge.
Padma said they had some glorious, artful food, but had to choose one masterpiece. The winning spot went to Melissa’s won ton soup.
When the chefs on the bottom were called out, Padma told Karen that she ended up in the bottom because Kevin had immunity. In her interview, Karen made it clear how pissed she would be if she was out for that reason. She creeped me out a little during this episode. Not only did she practically hiss her displeasure about possibly losing, she most definitely glared at Kevin when he got the immunity in the first place. I also highly doubt had he not had it, he would have taken any chances. Joe said while the dish chosen didn’t lack artistry, it lacked the technique to present the artistry. Jamie had to pack up his knives and go for his dish being too dry. He said it sucked to leave this early, and wished he had delivered better cookery; there was no greater sin. His hope was in the Last Chance Kitchen, and to get back in the competition, doing the type of food he wants, the way he wants to do it. Next time, Kelly Clarkson is guest judge, and the chefs are challenged with a vegetarian menu.
🥠 The best quote came from Brian: I am not making baby Jesus today.
🐐 On Watch What Happens Live, we learned from Melissa and Joe Gorga that during quarantine in Italy, Joe Giudice is picking broccoli and chasing goats. Alrighty then.
👠 Don’t Pandemic Me…
One of LuAnn’s employees passive/aggressively called her out on Instagram.
But she’s not having it during this crisis.
👩🏽🚀 Almost Two Weeks In…
The good news is, chickens are still laying eggs, and the sky hasn’t fallen… yet. Shah you tomorrow.