Tag Archives: Teresa Giudice

November 15, 2017 – Valentin is Paying, Siggy’s Retreat, Brody is a Dog & the Queen’s Hair Rules


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Maxie tells Nathan it’s not often they get a day off together, but he’s going to GH. Maxie wonders if Man Landers ever gets a day off, but he says Amy needs a friend. He leaves, and Lulu comes in with great news – she’s back. Maxie is excited that Lulu has brought her favorite pesto salad.

Nelle goes to see Laura about a job. She thought she was meeting with someone from HR, not the board. Laura says childcare is close to her heart, and she likes to have a personal hand in the daycare operation. She asks why Nelle left her last position.

Cassandra meets Nina at the MetroCourt. Nina has already ordered wine, and it’s her favorite. Cassandra says it must be fate. They don’t even know each other and already it’s like they’re old friends.  Nina tells her to cut the act. She knows Cassandra lied.

Alexis asks Valentin what his connection is to his friend Olivia-J. He says she’s no friend of his, and Alexis says he probably doesn’t have any friends, only co-conspirators. He says maybe that’s fair. She tells him that Julian was scapegoated, but he asks if Julian wasn’t an accomplice to several crimes. One could say he’s getting what he deserved. Alexis wonders where Valentin would be if they all got what they deserved. He tells her he’s not as sinister as she thinks, but she thinks sinister doesn’t even begin to describe what he is. She says their father in hell must be beaming with pride over him. He insists he has no relationship with Olivia, and Alexis asks who paid her legal fees. Or is he going to pretend he doesn’t know Nora either?

At the prison, Scotty tells Julian he was working on a case, but ran right over when Julian called. Julian says Scotty went against his wishes by telling Alexis what happened. If they didn’t have glass between them, he would reach over and wring Scotty’s neck.

Lulu has a confession, and Maxie asks if the pesto is from jar. Lulu says don’t insult her. She tells Maxie that she followed her heart about being an investigative reporter, and already submitted an article to Port Charles Parents. She didn’t want to jinx it by saying anything earlier. She says she was upset by the quality of the food at Charlotte and Rocco’s school, and did some probing. She thinks she has a knack for turning a little story into something big, and wants Maxie to take a look at it. Maxie frowns as she reads, and suddenly runs from the table.

Nelle tells Laura that she loves taking care of kids, helping them, and watching them learn. She was trained in childcare and education, and thinks she’s at her best when taking care of children. Laura agrees she was wonderful with Charlotte, but she can’t help wondering why she would have taken a job with Nina. Nelle says Valentin had some legal troubles, and no longer needed a nanny. Nina offered her a position while she was looking for work, and no one had showed that kind of faith in her before. Laura mentions Carly, and Nelle says that she was angry with Carly for reasons that turned out not to be true, and deeply regrets what happened. She took the job with Nina because she wanted the opportunity to prove she was up to the challenge, both for Nina and herself. Laura wonders why she would leave the glamour to go back to nap time, runny noses, and skinned knees?

Cassandra asks what Nina is talking about. Nina says she knows her name isn’t Cassy White, it’s Cassandra Pierce. She also knows Cassandra had a relationship with her husband at one time, adding that she and Valentin don’t keep secrets. Cassandra asks what else he told her, and Nina says they were involved, but not seriously; at least not serious to Valentin. Cassandra says she can explain, but Nina interrupts, saying she knows what Cassandra was doing, and to be honest, she doesn’t like her.

Valentin tells Alexis that Nora was his counsel in family court, and the reason he got custody. Alexis says until he was arrested for espionage. Valentin tells her that he and Lulu came to an agreement because they acted like grown-ups; she should look into that. Alexis asks if it’s an amazing coincidence that the same day he was awarded custody, Nora represented Olivia-J in her competency hearing. He says she’s an out-of-state attorney, and it makes sense. Alexis calls it collusion.

Scotty tells Julian that he’s not apologizing for sending a flare up to Alexis. Julian wants him to keep her out of this, and Scotty says his job isn’t to keep her out, but get Julian out. Julian says some guys have a grudge against him, others don’t care, and some just want to see blood fly. Scotty says it’s prison; what did he think? It isn’t prayer circles and yoga classes; these are hard core criminals. Julian needs to keep his head down until Scotty can get him out.

Alexis says it’s obvious he and Olivia-J share a common enemy – Anna. Valentin says they’ve reached a détente, and they’re good. He loves her carpet-bombing him, but doesn’t have the time. She says it is just a theory, but she might be compelled to share it with someone who has influence and resources, and blames Olivia for the death of their child. Valentin says she must mean Sonny. Alexis says if he knew, he might feel the need to dig until he digs Valentin’s grave. Valentin says that’s colorful, but what is it she wants? She needs to talk to Olivia, but can’t get access to her because of Nora. She wonders what the odds are of them sharing an out-of-state attorney, and she bets Sonny knows. Valentin says she wants Olivia to exonerate Julian, and if Valentin doesn’t help, she’ll tell Sonny. He says she has no proof, but a grieving father will listen on her say-so. She must really want him free. She tells him to talk to Nora or she’ll talk to Sonny.

Julian tells Scotty that the last thing he wants is Alexis being involved. Being involved with him almost cost her career and her life. He can’t afford any more damage. He says to keep her out of it. Scotty says he might have married her, but she doesn’t take orders from him. Why would she listen? He tells Julian the trouble is, he doesn’t have enough ammo for the appeal. He’s looked at it from every angle, and has nothing. If Julian has a silver bullet, he needs to use it now.

Nelle tells Laura that Nina has been good to her, and she doesn’t want to tell her that she’s looking for a job. Why, Nelle, why? This girl is never going to learn her lesson. Nelle says she was happier when she was watching Charlotte, and is convinced GH’s daycare is the right place for her.

Amy sees Nathan, and says Chet hasn’t been discharged yet, but he’s in occupational therapy if Nathan wants to talk to him. Nathan says that he came to bring some reading material. Amy tells him that if it’s not Sports Illustrated, he probably won’t be interested. Nathan says it’s for her. He’s brought the Man Landers book. He tells her that the presales are good, and Quinn thinks it will be a blockbuster. Amy says the only reason she did it was for Chet, and now he’s mad at her for even trying to help. Nathan suggest she read her own book. He has something marked on page six. Amy starts to read.

Lulu asks if Maxie thinks it was the salad, but she says she only had two bites. Lulu is afraid it was her article, but Maxie says she reads bad writing all the time without throwing up – not that the article is bad. Lulu says maybe it was the details about sour milk and moldy cheese. Maxie says she’s not helping, but it’s not her fault, and she runs to bathroom again. Lulu says omg, Maxie’s pregnant.

Maxie comes back, saying she’s not pregnant, just stressed out about her own article and photo shoot, and her husband having a dangerous job. On his day off, he went to see his needy nurse friend who has a family disaster. She realizes she sounds selfish, and Lulu says, a little bit. Maxie says add the article about spoiled lunch, and no wonder she’s sick. Lulu says she’s ignoring the obvious. She and Nathan have no doubt been making up for lost time. Maxie says she can’t be pregnant; they haven’t talked about it yet. Lulu tells her that’s not a required step. Maxie tells her that Nathan loves kids, and they’ve talked about someday, but not right now; the timing is wrong. Lulu says a funny thing about nature is, it doesn’t care. Maxie suggests a career in fortune cookies. Lulu tells her with all the money Nathan has made with the book, he could be an amazing stay-at-home dad. Maxie says that will never happen. He loves his job and she loves her life the way it is. The last thing they need is a complication.

Amy reads, is it possible to love someone too much? The writer’s husband is an addict, and she wants to know how to keep from losing him. Nathan tells her to read what Man Landers said. The surest way to lose him is to lose herself. Addiction isn’t just an individual’s problem, but involves the entire family. She needs to join a group to help her find strength and courage, and to realize that you can’t force someone to save themselves. They have to come to that on their own. It’s painful, but she’s not alone. Nathan says now comes the hard part, to take her own advice.

Laura tells Nelle she definitely has the right experience, and asks if she has any question. Nelle says the online job description was clear, and Laura says most people ask about the package. She’ll get medical and dental, and a 401K, but HR will go over it with her. She says the salary is every two weeks. Nelle seems disappointed that it’s not weekly, but says she’ll make it work; the kids are what matters. Laura says everything looks great on paper, and the rest should be a formality. Nelle asks to look at the daycare center.

Then, my good friend, George Stephanopoulos interrupts. Because nothing can ever wait until four o’clock. Heaving huge sigh. Once again, thank God for YouTube.

Nina says that when Cassandra tripped over Charlotte’s skates, she couldn’t have known who she and Charlotte were. Then when she found out, what was she going to say? She didn’t want to put Valentin on the spot. She tells Cassandra that she knows about their past, and also present, connection.

Maxie tells Lulu just because she threw up twice, doesn’t mean she’s pregnant, and says, take it back. Lulu says the sooner she knows, the better for prenatal. Maxie says she doesn’t need a lecture on babies from her. She apologizes, and Lulu says they have a complicated history with babies, but it’s in the past She thinks Georgie would love a little brother or sister. Maxie talks about the time she missed with Georgie, and Lulu says she missed years with Charlotte. Maxie starts thinking about the joys of motherhood, and says they have to stop this; she’s not pregnant. They make plans for a future lunch.

Julian tells Scotty that it’s his job to find reasons for the appeal. He’s not paying a retainer to himself. They have to prove something wrong with initial trial and judges don’t want to anger other judges. St. Jerome was patron saint of librarians and students, not knocked around convicts. Julian says he didn’t claim to be a saint, but Scotty says he’s acting like one, and they’ll need a miracle to get him out. Julian says he’ll stop acting like a saint when Scotty starts acting like a lawyer. He needs something to make the appeals court stand up and take notice right now he has nothing. Julian could spend the next fifteen years there if he doesn’t come up with something.

Nina tells Cassandra that Valentin told her that she’s getting treatment from Finn. Cassandra says she did. Nina hopes it’s nothing serious, but she wouldn’t have come all this way for a hangnail. Cassandra says it’s nothing contagious, and Finn is zeroing in definitive diagnosis. Nina says there’s no one better, and Cassandra says she’d be tempted to flirt with him if he wasn’t involved with Anna. Nina plays along, and says Anna went after Valentin. Cassandra can’t blame her. He has charm, wit and is infused with danger; does anything make a man more desirable? No. Oh, sorry, I thought I was part of the scene. Nina says that he can be dangerous, but so can she. She tells her to ask Ava what she’s capable of if someone goes after her man. She realizes what that sounded like. Cassandra says it sounded like a warning. Nina says that’s crazy. She would never do that; their relationship is in the past. Cassandra makes a hand gesture as if she’s waving it away.

Valentin visits Nora. She says a visit from two people from Port Charles in as many days. Sensing early frost. He tells her Alexis told him about speaking to her about Olivia-J. Nora says she’s heard Alexis is a formidable attorney, but made a rookie error thinking Olivia could make a statement exonerating Julian. Valentin says that’s exactly what he wants her to do.

On the phone, Laura thinks Nelle is an ideal candidate for the job. Lulu overhears and says to call them back. Laura hangs up, and Lulu says there’s a lot she doesn’t know about Nelle.

Amy says it won’t be easy, but she’ll try to take her own advice. Who knew she was prematurely wise? She’s lucky to have him as a friend, especially after she turned his life upside down getting him involve. He adds in something he didn’t think he wanted to get involved with. It turned out to be rewarding and long after Man Landers is gone, he’ll be her friend. He signs her copy of the book.

Laura asks to speak to Nelle. Nelle asks if she has more questions, and then sees Lulu is there. Laura says just one. Why did she lie about being fired from Crimson? Nelle thanks her for her time, and walks away. She sees Nathan signing Amy’s book.

Cassandra thanks Nina for being so enlightened and forgiving about her foolish subterfuge. Nina understands, and Cassandra says she was completely caught off-guard, finding out Valentin was her husband. Nina says everything is out in the open now, right? She thinks Cassandra is great, and thinks they have a lot in common. She doesn’t have many girlfriends in Port Charles, and would love for them to be friends. Cassandra says cool, but she has to go. They make plans for lunch. A lot of that going around. When Cassandra is gone, Nina says, keep your friends close

Scotty sees Alexis at the bar. He orders a drink and tells the bartender to put her fizzy water on his check. It’s his way of thanking her for seeing Julian and putting some sense into him. He says he’s not looking for trouble, but it’s finding him. Alexis wonders if it’s a slow-motion suicide, and Scotty says because of her, he’s seeing signs of life. He’s a better guy on the inside than he ever was on the outside.

Valentin tells Nora an innocent man is spending time in prison for crime he was forced to commit. Nora says Julian is far from innocent, and she’s not his attorney; she represents his sister. Valentin says, maybe, and maybe he can’t, in good conscience, pay Olivia-J’s legal bill, but if she makes a public statement exonerating Julian, he might change his mind. Nora says that’s blackmail, but Valentin says, no, it’s a choice. Olivia can exonerate Julian, or try her luck with a public defender. He tells Nora to present her with the options and get back to him.

Amy thanks Nathan. Nelle flashes back to hearing Maxie talk to Nathan about Amy writing the column, and Nathan says they would both be in trouble if that came out. At the time, we didn’t see Nelle listening. Nelle makes a call to a celebrity tip line, and asks how much they pay for a story. She says they should definitely meet. She has inside information on Ask Man Landers.

Laura thanks Lulu. Lulu tells her that Maxie didn’t know the details, but got a strong impression that Nelle did something underhanded to Nina, not professionally, but personally. She says it’s not hard to believe. She’s just one of those people looking for a weakness to exploit. Laura says they can’t have someone like that looking after the children. Lulu says speaking of children, she doesn’t want to jinx it, but a close friend might be pregnant.

Maxie comes home with a pregnancy test.

A guard has a message for Julian – watch his back tonight.

Scotty tells Alexis unless he finds grounds for an appeal – and he doesn’t know where – Julian could be spending the next fifteen years in prison. The way things are going, it doesn’t look like he’ll survive the next fifteen days. Alexis says they might be closer to the answer than he thinks.

Nora tells Valentin it never occurred to her to ask, but what connection does he have to Olivia-J? He says it doesn’t matter. The only question is if he’s going to continue to pay legal fees. He tells her to encourage her client to tell the truth. Nora says once this matter is settled, their business is concluded. Valentin says he doesn’t know about that, and leaves. Nora makes call, saying she needs to talk to Olivia.

Tomorrow, Maxie wonders baby or no baby, Ava begs Griff to finish what Klein started, and Nelle says she has the goods on Ask Man Landers.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Margaret and Joe #3 go wallpaper shopping. She wants something grand; he wants traditional and normal. He asks why they need fabulousity; he wants normalousity. She says it’s a statement room. She tells him about meeting with Dolores. She’s hoping she’ll go back and calm Siggy down. In her interview, she’d thought she and Siggy had mutual respect for each other and never thought she’d be so overreactive. They talk about her stepchildren, and he says they’re holding a grudge. In her interview, she gets weepy about missing a piece of their lives she can’t get back.

Dolores says the one time Teresa could have had her back, she didn’t, but it’s a friendship worth fighting for. They meet for lunch. Teresa wants to see where her head is at. Dolores tells her to lay it out. Teresa says Dolores’s vibe is that she’s not sticking up for her. In Florida, Siggy was saying crazy sh*t, and Danielle said Dolores told her that Teresa thinks money is more important than anything else. Dolores says, don’t trust her; something isn’t right. She suggests Danielle does drugs or is on medication for being crazy. Teresa says she does yoga and is into healing. Dolores says Teresa doesn’t have her back either. She joined in with the girls making fun of her relationship with Frank. Teresa says Dolores is in another relationship. Why would she let Frank move in? Dolores tells her twenty years ago, she didn’t want to put up with what Teresa did. Teresa asks if she’s trying to say Joe #1 cheated on her. I’d say that’s a yes.

Dolores gets quiet. In her interview, she says she’s never approached Teresa about her marriage, rumors, or lack of disrespect, and although Teresa attacked her relationship, she has to be diplomatic. Dolores tells Teresa that she never saw him cheating (interesting choice of words), and Teresa asks what she’s trying to say. Dolores says he was a lot of work, and she’d never stand by someone who got her in trouble. Teresa deserves all the respect in the world. Teresa says hopefully he’ll get his sh*t together when he gets home. She tells Dolores that if it was a choice between believing her or Danielle, she’d believe Dolores. They’ve known each other a long time. Dolores is glad they talked. What a sidestep.

Siggy makes some ice cream sundae thing, topped with what has to be an entire can of whipped cream. Dolores comes over. Siggy says she can’t fit into her jeans, and Dolores asks why she’s eating that. Siggy tells her that she’s stressing out. Michael wanted her to slow down, but she wants to take the next step in her career and do overnight retreats. She has to figure out how to juggle everything. Dolores says she can do it, but be realistic about it. Siggy has booked a retreat at Crystal Springs, and wants to test small group activities with her friends. She doesn’t want to include Margaret, but Dolores says she should.

Siggy calls Margaret, and tells her about the retreat, extending an invitation to her. Margaret appreciates it. After she hangs up, she tells Dolores they’ll see. She asks if she should invite Danielle, and Dolores says go ahead. It wouldn’t be fair not to ask her to give Danielle another chance, when she encouraged her to give Margaret one. She’s not going to hug her though.

Margaret and Melissa meet for lunch. Melissa feels like her kids have an agenda now, and are more work than when they were babies. Well, of course. I don’t even have kids and I know that. Her biggest problem is trying to separate Envy from the other boutiques. Margaret wants everyone to do well, and offers to help. She says the food was amazing at the tasting, but the behavior was another story. A grown woman stuck her tongue out at her, and tried to humiliate Melissa at her party. Melissa says she was invited to Siggy’s women’s empowerment event. Margaret says she got an invite, and wonders how she can go when she feels belittled by her. She’s crossing her fingers that Siggy doesn’t display her anger. Melissa says her biggest issue is that she cries or gets dramatic to deflect when she doesn’t like something. Margaret says Siggy is afraid she’ll steal her friends. She’s a friend thief. Melissa suggests she say a couple of Hail Marys and an Our Father.

Michael hopes the event is successful, but hopes she doesn’t do too many. In her interview, Siggy says he sees it as time away from him; she sees it as building her empire. She tells him about inviting Margaret.

Margaret says Siggy has a lot of issues. Her assistant suggests she walk behind Siggy when she’s hiking.

Frank says he’s an alpha male, and Dolores thinks he’s her bitch. She says it’s hard to take him seriously when he’s holding a mop.

Melissa says Siggy embarrassed her, but encourages women to life each other up. She’s going to have to say something. Joe #2 tells her not to come home if she doesn’t. He wants a tough wife. Melissa goes to Teresa’s house, where they’re being picked up. Teresa’s dog has a pink tail and ears, and I wonder if she’s been hanging out with LVP. Teresa says the crazy thing is, Siggy invited Danielle. The van arrives, and they get in. Dolores is already there, and Margaret joins them. Teresa warns Dolores that Danielle is coming. Dolores says she doesn’t care. She lost her sh*t twice, and Danielle isn’t getting her a third time.

Siggy is excited, and goes over the program with her assistants. She says it’s about helping and empowering people.

Dolores tells them to go with open mind. Margaret asks if they saw Siggy’s Instagram post. We see a picture of her with a bow and arrow, looking like Katniss Everdeen. In the text, she says the last thing anyone wants is her hating on their ass. Margaret hopes it wasn’t directed at her. She says she’ll ask at dinner.

The van arrives at the venue. Guests are already trickling in. Siggy greets everyone with hug. She thanks them for coming, and she and her assistant, Vikki, explain the retreat goal. It’s an opportunity to be open and vulnerable, with no one judging. They should get emotionally naked. They’re to be inspired to live their authentic self, and trust their instincts. What people say doesn’t change who you are. The key is to surround yourself with positive people; negative influencers can make you feel worse. Geez, I could have come up with this. Siggy starts talking about someone she couldn’t get through to, and how if someone is hurting you, you have the right to say eff-you. Melissa thinks Siggy is about to publicly shame Margaret. Yes, she is. She asks Margaret if she’s right.

She says she and Margaret got off on the wrong foot. She felt that she got emotionally naked and it wasn’t working, but it takes two to tango. She withheld a lot. She’d been bullied about her name while she was growing up, and when Margaret called her “Soggy,” it her back. She hated her childhood. She might be a relationship expert, but she has issues too. Character flaws make us unique. I hope it’s more than that. In her interview, Margaret says had she known, she wouldn’t have done that. Siggy thanks Margaret. She tells her that they’ve had no chance to know one another, and maybe she doesn’t want to, but she’s rooming with her and Dolores.

Siggy invites everyone to the “Zone room,” and I think of the Zen room in Rocky Horror. There are different experts they can consult with, like stylists, makeup artists, a plastic surgeon, and a photographer. She says the takeaway is that when they leave, she wants them to understand it’s about them, not her. She also has some swag available, and one of her T-shirts says “Soggy Flicker” on it. Margaret thinks she’s handling it well, and Siggy tells her that she’s getting a percentage. Siggy thanks them again.

Teresa tells Danielle about meeting with Dolores. She wasn’t sure if Danielle was trying to come between them. Danielle says, absolutely not. Teresa lets her know that she’d said if she had to pick, she’d believe Dolores. Danielle says they’ve known each other longer, not necessarily because she’s more believable. Teresa tells her that Dolores thinks she’s on drugs. Danielle laughs, and says that’s never been said before. In her interview, Danielle says Dolores has called her a scumbag and garbage, and is now starting baseless rumors. She has no imagination, but she has an imaginary boyfriend.

They fawn over their rooms. Margaret tells Siggy she appreciates it, and they got off to a wrong start. Siggy says it was a crazy time, and she has difficulty letting go. She has things to work on.

Teresa thinks it’s funny that Siggy is all about knowing your worth, but all the people there are for superficial improvements.

Margaret calls Joe #3, and tells him she was concerned when Siggy called her out, but it went well. They’re rooming together in a suite. She thinks they’re on a good path. At the end of the call, Joe doesn’t understand how to shut FaceTime off.

The ladies meet for dinner. Margaret and Dolores don’t drink, since they’d rather spend the calories on food. Vikki makes a toast, and Siggy asks what they thought. Melissa says she never heard Siggy speak, and was impressed. She was sincere, and had good chemistry with Vikki. In her interview, Melissa hopes they go deeper, and the next day is more about the inside. Danielle says since they’re being open, Dolores is saying she’s medicated, and Dolores asks if she is. She’s so nasty. Danielle says no, and Dolores says she thought she was “off,” since she was making stuff up about what she said. In her interview, Melissa says Dolores said the conversation never happened, but it’s not okay to accuse someone of being a drug addict. Dolores doesn’t trust her motives. We flash back to 2009, and the infamous book. Danielle wants to know what she’d have to gain. In her interview, Dolores calls her a pathological liar and crazy. Danielle says she repeated something Dolores had said that she was confused about, and Dolores says she should have talked to her then. Dolores challenges Danielle, asking what she’s going to do, Danielle says she knows who she is. Margaret doesn’t know what happened, or why it’s at this level. Siggy thinks Dolores should take the high road, and it’s getting out of hand. Vikki, who everyone forgot was there, says there are more workshops to get through. They can make a bad situation positive, and they’re not done yet.

Danielle asks Teresa and Melissa if they think Siggy making up with Margaret was genuine. She thinks it was a little fast. Teresa thinks of course Siggy is going to be all kumbaya, since the retreat is supposed to be about uplifting each other. She thinks Siggy wanted to make a display of fixing her own relationship so she can show how good she is.

Siggy asks Dolores about the Danielle thing, saying Danielle takes it personally and she’s hurt. Dolores says the only redeeming thing about the situation is that she and Teresa are good. Siggy says you can’t buy history.

Melissa says they’re supposed to have a special surprise. She’s hoping it’s mimosas on an island somewhere.

They go to an outside space. Vikki tells them they’re going to have their first activity, and it sounds more like camp than a retreat. She tells them that some things still need resolution. Each person is going to tell another one thing that’s wrong with them using role playing. Sounds like a great exercise for this group. She asks who wants to go first, and there’s dead silence. Siggy volunteers. She says she and Margaret have come a long way, but they haven’t had a chance to say what they’ve wanted. Um… what about that lunch? Vikki tells them to come out and tell the group why they feel hurt. Siggy says when Margaret called her “Soggy,” she struck a nerve and I hurt. Margaret says she thought Siggy was being hypersensitive, and was taken aback. Vikki says there’s no right or wrong, and they’re to role play being the other person. Margaret starts to wail about the cake, Josh, and the cake again. Teresa thinks it’s hysterical, but doesn’t think Siggy likes it too much, judging from he expression. Nope. She doesn’t. In her interview, Dolores wonders if Margaret is off her rocker. Margaret continues to go on about the cake, and Danielle says this is not going to be good.

This season, a trip to Milan, Margaret’s birthday, a visit to Joe #1 in the pokey, Teresa and Dolores fight, Danielle and Siggy fight, and there will probably be other fights they didn’t have time to show clips of.

🌟 On Star, Carlotta went to bat for Simone, but the judge wasn’t having it, and Simone had to go back to the facility. Star told her to focus on the music, and it’s what will get her out. I love the way the music is incorporated into the show when it’s a regular scene (i.e. not a performance). Ayanna suggested emancipation to Simone, and Carlotta said unless it’s business, stay away from the girls. Brody got a load of cash to steal photos from Star’s phone, and gave $10K to the benefit. He hoped to impress Star, but she called him a dog anyway. Alex and Star worked different angles to get Joyce Sheree on their next track. Alex got friendlier with Gigi, and when Noah took a selfie with Alex that went viral, Gigi told her to use it for publicity. Ayanna hit the sheets with Jahil (Carlotta said she’d been there, done that), and was working overtime to restore Midtown’s image, tarnished from the shooting and Noah’s tweets. She ended up giving a press conference, where she sounded like the Queen of England after Diana’s death. Cotton’s old boyfriend also came back to haunt her. Queen Latifah wore some luscious curls this week, and Star rocked some blue lipstick, which I’m usually skeptical about. The next episode will be in two weeks, when the girls perform in the showcase.

🎼 Patti LaBelle and Brandi Norwood will also be coming on board this season, as Carlotta’s mother and younger sister.

🎆 Not the Only One Obsessed…




November 1, 2017 – Andre Tells All (Almost), the Gorgas Have a Tasting & Celebration Skulls


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Nathan tells Maxie that coffee gives him life, and I totally identify. Maxie gives him props for pulling an all-nighter to keep the citizens of Port Charles safe. He says he was dressed as Batman, and asks if she’s buttering him up so he’ll keep doing Ask Man Landers. She says just for a little while.

Andre finds an animatronic of a child vampire coming out of a coffin in his office. Along with Franco. Franco thinks a dead child rising up is appropriate, and it’s time for the truth about Jason’s twin; Andrew is alive.

At the station, Dante tells Michael it’s been a crazy night. Michael can’t believe it. He wants to see Real Jason, but he’s been released.

Sam dreams about Real Jason. She hears Other Jason saying that he’s Jason. She opens her eyes to the both of them.

Carly talks to Diane, who doesn’t know where Real Jason is. Carly hears him say her name. I guess Sam must be dreaming, since Real Jason can’t be two places at once, or there’s a third Jason. Please, God, no.

Maxie tells Nathan the media stuff was a nightmare, and she hated the attention until someone told her to make it her own and embrace it. Nathan asks who, and she says Sam, pointing out that she and Jason are totally happy. Nathan is like, um… There’s a knock at the door. It’s Amy. Nathan asks if they’re scheduled to meet, but Maxie says she invited Amy over.

Andre tells Franco that he doesn’t have time for games; something came up. Franco says, yeah, Elizabeth got shot at a cocktail party, and Monica told him there are two Jasons. Is that a coincidence? Andre tried convincing him Andrew was dead, and even produced a death certificate. He didn’t give it to him for peace of mind; Andre didn’t want him to know the truth. Andre has known all along he didn’t kill Jason’s twin, but everyone knows what he is capable of, so he’s asking nicely. Was Andre involved in the shooting, and does it revolve around Andrew? Andre says there’s been too much violence, and Franco asks if that’s a yes. Andre tells him that Andrew is alive

Carly hugs Real Jason. She can’t believe it’s him. She missed him so much, and has so much to tell him and say. He tells her to take a breath and count to ten. She hugs him, and I notice those platinum highlights they constantly give the blondes, which only make them look like they have grey hair.

Other Jason tells Sam that whatever happened is over; she had a bad dream. She says she must have been hallucinated after the guy shot her up with drugs. When he pulled her out of the water, she saw his old face. She knows that’s not possible. Other Jason tells her that he didn’t pull her out of the water.

Maxie says she was desperate to get her job at Crimson back, and amends it to they’d be lucky to have her back. She needed to pitch something Nina would love. Nathan and Amy both say they’re scared. Maxie tells them she’s writing an article with the working title of Mr. and Mrs. Man Landers Put the Sex in Suggestion. Amy says it’s over. Chet is on his way to Port Charles, and thinking of moving back. Maxie says she’d love to see him again, but Amy says he’s not the same. The war changed him, and not just physically, but he’s so much better now thanks to Nathan. Nathan says mission accomplished. Maxie says Amy and Chet’s mission, but she has one too. She needs to get back to work. Can’t they keep up the ruse for a few more weeks? Nathan says they’re lucky they made it this far. He can’t risk fraud charges for Crimson. Amy doesn’t want to risk it either.

Andre tells Franco that he’s deeply shamed. Franco says that Jason has a twin in Port Charles who’s involved somehow. Andre tries to jet, but Franco stops him. Franco says he shared his deepest secrets and fears; Andre needs to tell him what’s going on, or he can talk to the police. Andre could have at least stopped it. Andre says all right. He demolished a person’s life by tampering with their memory. He messed with their mind, and now two men think they’re the same person.

Michael asks Dante if this guy is Jason. Dante thinks he is, and Michael asks if he has any idea what the guy was after. Dante explains he wouldn’t talk without a lawyer. Michael doesn’t think that sounds like Jason, but it would explain a lot. He says the guy who came back has been good to them, and Dante says Other Jason saved his life. Michael says that’s when things changed, but it was different for him. The new Jason never felt like Jason. I’m wondering what aliens would think about all this. They’d probably just turn around and go back to whatever planet they came from. Shaking their antennae’d heads.

Carly doesn’t know how she feels. She’s relived, grateful, and glad to see a face she thought she never would again. She tells Real Jason that she messed up big time. She told herself Other Jason was him, and forced Sonny to believe it. She convinced everyone. Real Jason says it wasn’t all in her head. Carly explains Other Jason had been in an accident, and had facial reconstruction. Spinelli created software that put together what his face looked like before the accident, and it was Real Jason’s face. There was a DNA test, and it was a match. She knows they can be fake, but convinced herself it was him. When he died, there was a hole in her life. She didn’t want him to be dead, so turned Other Jason into Real Jason.

Other Jason tells Sam he’d been at the hospital when she was pulled out of the water. Sam says she confused whoever pulled her out with him. He tells her that she wasn’t hallucinating. It sounds crazy, but a man who looks how he used to, pulled her out. Sam doesn’t understand, and Other Jason says no one does. He burst into the party while Other Jason was at the hospital with Elizabeth. The man she mistook him for apparently went after her abductor. Sam asks if it’s real, and Other Jason says it is. She asks who the man says he is, and Other Jason tells her that he says he’s Real Jason.

Amy says it’s typical for Maxie to make Ask Man Landers about her, like everything else. She and Nathan have important jobs, and she should leave well enough alone, especially with Chet on his way back. Maxie insists that she’s not making about her; it is about her. Amy took advantage of her absence to lure Maxie’s husband into her scheme, and they lied to her for months. Nathan says he didn’t lie, but Maxie says he acted secretive and sketchy. Then they involved her by asking her to keep the secret, and she endured months of inappropriate attention and tweets. She didn’t want or ask for any of it, but is making lemondrops out of lemons by advancing her career. She tells them that she’s not the one who’s self-absorbed.

Andre tells Franco that he used to work for the WSB. Immediately I wonder why Anna wouldn’t have known that. He says he was working on something secret, and he discovered a way to use computers in memory mapping, copying one person’s memory and putting it into another person. Franco says it’s sci/fi stuff. Andre tells him the WSB feared ethical consequences, so they dropped the program. He knows he should have let it go, but was close to a breakthrough of magnitude. So when financing became available, he jumped at the opportunity to try the technique before it was perfected; no questions asked. He was presented with a test subject, a shooting victim rescued from Port Charles. Franco says, Jason.

Other Jason doesn’t know what to think. Maybe the guy had plastic surgery, or maybe Helena is involved, and he tried to make himself look like her savior so they’d trust him. He tells her that Jordan took him downtown to question him. Sam is confused. He says Carly and Sonny believe the new guy is the real Jason.

Jason says it’s okay. Carly made a mistake; she didn’t know. Carly says of all the people, she should have known. He asks how? She says as time went on, Other Jason became less like him. He wasn’t bad, but wasn’t him. Then he did two things Real Jason would never do – leave the business and leave Sonny, and open a media company. He’s not evil, just not him. He was there when they needed him, but it was different. It wasn’t instinctual. He had no sixth sense, and it was like a duty. He didn’t listen to her like Real Jason does. The love wasn’t the same; it wasn’t there. Carly needs him to believe her, and he does. She asks if he would have believed the same about her, and he say no, because there’s only one her; he’d know her anywhere. Carly says she knows him anywhere, and had no more questions when he came in with Sam. She knew it was him, and knew he was home.

Andre tells Franco that he didn’t know who it was, but knew if he was a twin, it would make the experiment easier. He was given the impression that the subjects were willing participants, but he was paid for results, not to ask questions. He copied one twin’s memory and transferred to the  other. Franco says, so he was playing God in name of science. He asks if Andre can fix it. Andre tells him as of now, there’s no way to put the memories back, and they don’t know which is which. Both have the same memories. Franco says, so old face Jason, who hates him with the fury of thousand suns, is out there? Andre says as far as they know, they’re both Jason.

Michael tells Dante that Sonny and Carly think this guy is the real Jason, but he needs to see him to be sure.

Other Jason tells Sam that Carly hasn’t gone as far as Sonny, but it’s like there was a secret handshake. Sam flashes back to Real Jason carrying her in, and asks if he took her to Sonny’s house. Other Jason says he did, and she says she remembers seeing him. Other Jason says it was surreal, but he couldn’t react and risk her being hurt. He wouldn’t put her down until Sonny said it was okay. He could see they were some kind of allies, and the guy put her down and backed off. That should have told them everything they needed to know. He would never leave her side, no matter what he was told to do.

Carly asks where Real Jason was, and what was going on. He says his last memory before the clinic is being shot and kicked into the water. He was in a clinic in Russia. They were drugging him, and kept him captive. He built up resistance, and realized who he was, and another patient helped him escape. He tells Carly about the priest and getting on the freighter. When he saw a newspaper, he realized he’d lost five years.

Amy tells Maxie that she’s right. She wasn’t thinking about the sacrifice Maxie made, just about her brother. Nathan says he’s sorry too; he thought she wanted out. Maxie is grateful for them putting her first, and says it won’t be for long. It will be the biggest thing that’s happened to her career. It’s up to them. Amy’s phone rings. She gets a text from Chet saying he’s not coming. There’s no explanation; just that he’s delayed. She thinks it’s weird that he didn’t say more.

Carly can’t imagine what it feels like. Real Jason says he was in shock, but it could have been worse. Something bad could have happened. He could have lost everyone he loved, but instead gained two – Robin and Jake. He says he’s sorry about Morgan. Carly tells him it’s the worst thing she’s ever gone through. He tells her that he’s sorry he wasn’t there, and he visited Morgan’s grave. He can’t wrap his head around it; he was a good kid. Carly says he wasn’t a kid anymore at the end. He grew like crazy in the past five years. He was kind, hilarious (I still wonder where this characteristic comes from, since I never saw it), and ridiculously impulsive; he had bi-polar, Real Jason says it must have been rough. She says there were a lot of dark moments, but in the end, he was doing great. He was on medication and living a healthy life. He asks what happened, but she doesn’t want his homecoming to be about this. They have time now. She can’t believe it. She’s grateful and happy he’s there. So is he. She tells him that Sam will be happy too, but he doesn’t think it’s best right now to tell her. He asks if that guy who says he’s him loves her, and Carly says very much. He asks if he’s good to her, and she says he’s good to all of them. Real Jason says it’s a lot to deal with, and he doesn’t want to push himself on her. Carly says this is never going to be real to Sam unless she sees him. She deserves to know he’s alive.

Sam tells Other Jason, sorry, she’s tired. He tells her to rest and he’ll have a surprise when she wakes up. He says to remember he loves her. They’ll get through it, and everything will be okay. She says she loves him too.

Franco says he can be in same room with Jason now, and Jason doesn’t want to kill him. Andre says that’s progress, but Franco wonders if that’s the Jason who remembers or the guy who lived it. Who is who, which is which, who’s Jason and who’s Andrew? Yes, we’d all like confirmation here.

Chet isn’t answering. Maxie says maybe he’s busy or the service sucks. Amy says she’s just being a mother hen, and Nathan says he’s protective of Nina that way. Amy is sure Chet is better than fine, thanks to him. Nathan says he’s just the face; she did more than he did. Amy says he did more than he thinks, and tells Maxie that she’s in. Maxie says she’ll contact Amy about the interview, and Amy leaves. Nathan and Maxie get busy.

Franco asks Andre who’s Jason? He must know. Andre has to go (I’ll bet), but sent a document to the printer that will tell him everything he needs to know. Maybe Franco can somehow undo the damage he’s done. I’m sure Franco appreciates being saddled with this task. Andre jets so fast, he leaves a chemtrail, and Franco watches the printer.

Other Jason leaves, thinking Sam is sleeping, but she’s not.

Franco looks at the document, and says O.M.G.

Real Jason and Carly go to the hospital. He isn’t sure, but she asks if he trusts her. He does, and she tells him to go in there. He goes into Sam’s room, and approaches her. She opens her eyes and says, it was real. It is you. He says, yeah, it’s me.

Tomorrow, Finn thinks there’s something Cassandra should know, Valentin wants no part of Klein, and Andre says goodbye.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Margaret gets back from Vegas, where she met with her shoe people. She’s doing a luxury for less line, and goes from the shower to the office. She says she has to travel a lot, and her husband is a stage five clinger; he called her a hundred times a day. She tells the staff about Siggy’s party, and how Siggy took a vote about the cake. She wonders why she’d carry on like that, and publicly embarrass Melissa. Her assistant says she thinks Siggy and Dolores were also screaming at Danielle. Margaret says she’ll find out about it at the tasting. She says it’s like high school and she loves it.

Frankie and Frank are working on a piece of furniture when Dolores gets home. Her boyfriend has sent a care package home for the two Franks, and she tells us that people think it’s weird how her ex gets along with David. It’s scary for her to move on and get married, because it would mean their marriage is really over. Frank says it’s like a Mexican stand-off. She tells them about the purse party, and how Danielle claimed she’d said Teresa cared more about money than anything else. The worst part was Teresa not being sure who was telling the truth. She says Danielle is a pathological liar, and wonders why Teresa would question her. She doesn’t know how Teresa could make a judgement like that. Frank says Teresa is overwhelmed, and will come back, but she’ll never admit she was wrong.

Joe #2 hangs the new restaurant sign – Gorga’s. He says he knew one day his name would be in lights. In his interview, he says that he and Teresa were at war for a long time. Now they’re mother is looking down on them and smiling. Their father says she sees. The inside walls have old pictures of the family, and he gets weepy. Joe suggests he do some cooking. Teresa thinks there should be more pictures. In her interview, Teresa says Melissa is getting on her nerves. She doesn’t like that the picture of Joe and Melissa showcases her, while he’s hiding his face. Melissa says Joe is the one who picked out the photo. Teresa says Melissa is a Gorga by injection [sic, but I like it]. If Joe divorces her, she won’t be a Gorga anymore. Melissa tells them enjoy their day and leaves. Joe asks why Teresa started with her over a picture. He says Melissa has been there for her, and Teresa had said she loves her. Teresa says she does.

Teresa takes Gia shopping. They’re going to Puerto Rico, and Gia rejects Teresa’s bikini suggestions. Teresa says Gia is conservative, which surprises her. It was supposed to be the first family trip after she got home, and it’s bittersweet. She didn’t think they’d be going without her mother, and it reminds her of the time she lost with her. She asks Gia why she’s being snippy and moody, and says Melania is the same way. She tells Gia about Melissa saying they’re working her. Gia says Melania has no boundaries, and needs discipline. Teresa thinks she needs attention. Gia says their dad was strict, but she thinks Teresa is afraid they’ll hate her. Teresa admits that she hates to say no. Gia says that’s nice, but it doesn’t make for good parenting. Teresa wants to have fun, and tells Gia that family vacations are important.

Siggy meets her parents for dinner. She tells them that Josh is being disrespectful. She’d like him to go to a college that doesn’t require going on an airplane. Her father says it’s part of growing up and maturing. Her mother is reminded of when Siggy was in high school, and left Israel to return to the states. She tells Siggy it wasn’t easy. She says at least Josh is staying in the United states, and she should let him go where he wants. Her father says she has her own life; Josh should too. Siggy says it takes adjustment, and her father says she has to adjust, not Josh.

Joe #2 and Melissa visit Teresa. Joe says they had a long day, and pours some wine. They toast to the new restaurant. Teresa tells Melissa she had a lot on her mind, she overreacted, and she’s sorry. She tells Joe that Melissa said she was too lenient with the girls, and Joe says she is. Teresa thinks while Joe #1 is away, they shouldn’t criticize her parenting. In her interview, Melissa says Teresa gave her a half-assed apology, but she’s learned not to sweat the small stuff, and is letting it go. They talk about the tasting, and Teresa hopes it doesn’t get out of control. Melissa says Siggy embarrassed her in front of the whole party. She thought of uninviting her, but she’ll start crying, Dolores will back her up, and it will start another whole thing. Joe asks what’s up with Dolores. Melissa tells him Danielle said Dolores told her Teresa only cares about money. Teresa says she’s torn about who to believe. Joe says they’d better be civil at the tasting.

Siggy and her husband go out to dinner for the eleventh anniversary of the day they met. Michael orders champagne. They toast to health, happiness, and love. Siggy says she went over her schedule today, and Michael asks if she’s toning it down. He thinks she’s overdoing it, but she says only Sophie is at home now. She’s been thinking of overnight retreats. All day seminars to inspire people, along with her friend Vicky, a divorce attorney. Even though she brings people together and Vicky splits them apart, they share the same goal; to make people happy. In her interview, Siggy says she has to balance her dreams with love and attention to Michael. He asks how much time they’re talking about, and she tells him that she wants to do this “so bad.” He says he knows she loves speaking, and elevates people, and maybe he needs more of an open mind. He tells her it’s going to be an interesting year.

Margaret’s team meets with the marketing director to see the shoe samples. In her interview, Margaret talks about how people always told her she couldn’t do this or that, and she did. She says they have to start now for spring. The director suggests she come to Milan to speed up the process. In her interview, she says that shoes were the next logical step. They want to dress you from head to toe, and then run your life.

Everything is set up for the tasting at Gorga’s. Teresa thinks it would make her mom happy to see them working together, and she and Melissa haven’t killed each other… yet. Joe talks about the dishes they’re going to use. He wants to finalize the menu for the opening. Teresa thinks everyone will speak their mind. Except Dolores will think whatever Siggy thinks.

Siggy tells Michael she’s supporting the Gorgas because they have a friendship. She’s also willing to give Margaret a second chance. She isn’t happy about how Danielle is coming at Dolores though.

Dolores is seeing everyone for the first time since the party. She needs to let Teresa know how she feels. She tells Frank to eat as much as he can as fast as he can.

Melissa thinks Danielle was sincere, and has a bigger heart than people think. She says Danielle is the most misunderstood person on the planet.

Tasting night begins. Margaret is surprised at how fast they got everything going. Teresa introduces her to his father. He flirts, and Joe #2 says keep an eye on him. Margaret thinks he’s adorable. Siggy arrives next. She asks Margaret how Vegas was, and Margaret thinks Siggy is turning over a new leaf and they can put it behind them. The guests trickle in. Teresa asks Siggy where her sidekick is, and Siggy says she should be there soon with Frank. Teresa doesn’t understand Dolores living with her ex, but Margaret says to each his own. In her interview, Margaret thinks it’s nobody’s business.

Danielle asks Teresa if she believes her. Teresa isn’t sure, saying she and Dolores have been friends for over twenty years. Siggy can’t see Dolores talking to Danielle about any of them. (FYI, on Watch What Happens Live, Dolores claimed the conversation never happened at all.) Margaret asks what reason would Danielle have to lie, and Siggy gets annoyed. In her interview, she says Margaret’s loyalty lasted a whole two minutes. Melissa thinks Danielle is misunderstood, and when she loves you you’re all in. Siggy starts to get riled, saying she’s the one in the group who’s misunderstood. Man, this woman would hate me. No matter how close I am to someone, I’m honest and don’t always take their side if I think they’re wrong. It doesn’t mean you love someone any less. As a matter-of-fact, just the opposite.

Joe #2 wants to get the party started. He talks about working in restaurants his whole life, but drifting away to do construction. He wanted to keep the family tradition going, and keep his father busy. He gets emotional. In her interview, Melissa talks about how much she loves him for leaving a legacy for his mother, and giving his father a purpose. Joe announces he’s going to serve different dishes, and he wants them to be honest. Everything looks amazing. Siggy wants to give sharp knife to Margaret, so when she leaves, Margaret can continue to stab her in the back. Melissa is surprised, thinking they squashed it, but Siggy says it might be squashed for Margaret, but it’s still alive for her.

Dolores comes in and blatantly ignores Danielle. Margaret gets a dead fish handshake. In her interview, Dolores says she has loyalty to Teresa and the Gorgas. She won’t avoid the event because Teresa feels the need to have Danielle around, but she doesn’t have to speak to her. Margaret is surprised, thinking she and Dolores would have made up by osmosis when she made up with Siggy. I just don’t get why these women put themselves in positions of being with their nemesis, and then obsess over them the entire evening/day/weekend, ruining their own good time.

Joe #2 asks Dolores what’s going on, and she says Danielle is up to her old tricks. Melissa says maybe Danielle took something out of context; why would she lie? Siggy says she’s delusional, and making up sh*t. Joe says they need to straighten it out. Dolores says that’s impossible, and calls Margaret “Ellie May Clampett,” saying she horned in on the group. She tells Joe about how they got left out of the ritual for his mom. Melissa says that she can understand how they feel, but the gesture was super sweet.

At the other table, Margaret says she can hear every word, and they’re recapping the drama. Teresa says Siggy is losing it, and out of control. Melissa tells Dolores she gets that they missed out, but thinks she should cut Margaret some slack. In her interview, Siggy says Melissa always gives Margaret a pass, but never her. Dolores says they were clearly excluded, and Siggy says she can’t forgive Margaret for this.

Margaret finally goes over to the other table. Teresa comes along, and asks what’s going on. Margaret asks if they’re still talking about it. Siggy says it’s not easy for her to forgive, and when you’re out, you’re out. Her husband backs her up on this. She sticks out her tongue (I’m not kidding), and says she’s not over it. Margaret thought they’d made up, and tries to talk, but Siggy won’t let her. Margaret can’t believe Siggy is holding a grudge. Siggy says all Margaret thinks about is her brand, and who’s buying her stuff made in China. Margaret asks what’s wrong with her stuff made in China, and Dolores says she doesn’t like anything she makes. Margaret is like, okay, puppet. Teresa says Margaret did nothing to her, and Dolores tells her to be quiet; she doesn’t like how Margaret treated her friend. Margaret says she’s a big girl of fifty, and Siggy calls Margaret the ugliest human being that ever existed for making fun of her. Siggy makes a big production of getting up, saying she’s leaving. Dolores follows. Siggy gets loud, yelling this is boring, and makes animated hand gestures. Because that’s not enough, she comes back and says something undecipherable to Margaret’s back, and stomps out.

Danielle asks where Dolores’s honey is. When Frank says it’s him, she asks when she gets to meet the one that’s now. Danielle asks if anyone has met him, not knowing there had been a discussion earlier about how no one has met him. In her interview, Melissa says pasta makes people happy. What the hell is happening here?  Danielle goads Dolores, asking if they all live in the same house. Dolores says it’s not her business. Teresa grabs Dolores, and takes her to the door before it escalates. Teresa is like, omg.

Next time, water park fun with Teresa’s girls, the Gorga family misses their matriarch, and Margaret meets with Dolores.

💔 FYI, If Loving You is Wrong was not on this week, but will be back on November 7th.

💀 Happy Day of the Dead 💀



DayoftheDead  DayoftheDead2

October 25, 2017 – Sonny Picks a Jason, Danielle Squeals on Dolores, No End’s End, a Tidbit & Atlanta Zombies


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Michael goes to Nelle’s office. He tells her she’s the perfect assistant. She has a gift for being all things to all people.

Nina relaxes in the sauna. Maxie comes in, and says Nina is going to rehire her at Crimson.

At the hospital, Monica teases Nathan about Man Landers. He tells her that he’s quitting the advice business. It was more all-consuming than he anticipated, and he wants to concentrate on his family and real job. Monica says it’s good he has his priorities in order.

Ava looks up old Jason online, and says that explains Franco’s interest. Griff knocks at the door, and asks if she’s ready for dinner. She tells him she forgot.

Danny asks why Jason is dressed up. He says it’s an important night, and they want to explain it to him and Scout. He says things are changing for their family. Danny asks if it’s a good change, and Sam says very good.

Sonny goes through the safe house with his gun drawn. He says, you went to a lot of trouble to get me here; show yourself. Patient 6 says, Sonny, and Sonny sees him on the stairs, his gun also drawn. Sonny asks who the hell he is; he looks exactly like Jason. Patient 6 says that’s who he is. Sonny says someone else has said he was Jason for the last two-years. Patient 6 says, come on, you know it’s me.

Nathan tells Monica that he has to interview a DUI patient. She says that Man Landers is going to be missed. Nathan sees Amy. She asks how Maxie took the news he’s retiring, but he hasn’t had a chance to tell her.

Nina says Maxie is stalking her. Maxie hands her an employment package she drew up for herself. She says any magazine would kill for the exclusive she has to offer – Inside the World of Ask Man Landers.

Nelle asks what Michael means, and he says it’s just an observation. She knew exactly how to act in every situation, from revealing herself as Josslyn’s kidney donor to being Carly’s assistant. His parents should have seen her coming, but they didn’t because she was so convincing. She wonders why he’s dredging this up now. He tells her that he just found out she spent a year in a mental hospital.

Griff suggests hanging out and ordering in. Ava thinks he wants to avoid being seen with her in public.

Jason explains media to Danny, and how they’ll be working out of an office now. Danny asks if he can help, and suggests an issue about dogs. I second that. Jason wants all the kids to help, and when they grow up. the company will be theirs if they want it. Danny thinks it sounds cool. Sam has no idea how much she wanted this until Jason made it happen.

Sonny says if he was Jason, he would have blown Sonny’s head off before he could blink. Real Jason says he’s not going to shoot him. Sonny asks why the gun, and he says he thought Sonny would have him along. He seems like the type to shoot first and ask questions later, and he thought he’d have to hold him off while he explained. Sonny says explain it to him; where has he been?

Griff tells Ava staying in would avoid awkward questions, and she says people might get the wrong idea and assume they’re a couple. He apologizes, saying he didn’t think she’d take it that way. She says imagine the harm he could do if he tried. He takes her hand, saying he’s clumsy, and apologizes again.

Nelle doesn’t like talking about it, since she thought she’d be judged, and she’s feeling that way now. Michael says he’s the last person who would hold mental illness against anyone. She says she’s not mentally ill, but had a breakdown. She wanted to put it behind her and forget. He asks why she had a breakdown.

Sam can’t believe this is going to be their business. Jason asks if she’s scared, and she says she’s exhilarated and it’s crazy jumping into the unknown. What if they fail? Jason tells her that they won’t. After everything they’ve been through, they can do anything as long as they’re together.

Sonny says five years is a long time, and Real Jason says it wasn’t five years for him. He woke up in a Russian clinic where they kept drugging him. It feels like he was there six months at most, and he worked on a plan to escape. Sonny asks why he didn’t call, and he says he gave the number to another patient. Sonny realizes it was Ava, and Real Jason says she gave the number to Dr. Klein. He tells Sonny that “they” were paying Klein to keep him drugged up and under control. When Sonny asks who’s “they,” Real Jason has no idea.

Maxie tells Nina it’s an inside look at what it’s like to be married to hottest, sexiest internet sensation. Nina wanted some peace, but knows it’s not going to happen, and tells Maxie to proceed. Maxie is going to focus on their fabulous marriage and true partnership. Nina says she was never part of the brand. Maxie says she contributes the glamour. They’ll take pictures of the apartment, and her, in couture outfits. Nina asks if she’s told Nathan, and Maxie says he’s on board and welcoming it with both well-muscled arms.

Amy video chats with Chet. She introduces him to Nathan, saying he’s the real Man Landers, and no, they’re just friends. She tells him she’ll call him back when she gets a break. She asks Nathan if he’s ever had the feeling that you know something is for the best, but it means giving up something you enjoyed. You have the satisfaction of doing the right thing, but the sadness of letting go. He knows the feeling.

Nelle says Michael wouldn’t understand, and he tells her to try him. She says she’s afraid to get hurt, so she runs from pain and lies to avoid it, and sometimes the lies make things worse. She didn’t have a fancy hospital or loving parents, so she ran as fast and long as she could, and crashed. She begs him to stop digging in her past.

Griff doesn’t pretend to know ins and outs of dating, and Ava says that he’s clearly an amateur, and she’s the relationship version of training wheels. He tells her that she’s reading too much into him suggesting take-out. She says that she’s busy anyway. He did hurt her feelings, but that’s not why she wants to cancel. Griff asks what’s so important, and she says getting answers about him, and shows Griff the sketch.

Sam tells (what do I call him now?) Other Jason that besides making a formal announcement, they’ll have to work the room. She asks him questions that people might ask, like how long he’s been considering the purchase. He says for a while, and she asks why not get more into the PI business? He tells her it was fun until people started shooting at him. He knew Julian would have a lot of legal bills, and might be ready to sell. He tells her their tastes are well beyond Julian’s, and the more he thought about it, the more he thought it was worth doing. Sam wonders if they’re asking for trouble.

Sonny asks how Real Jason got back to Port Charles, and he says he had a lot of help. He tells Sonny that he made an escape attempt too soon, and explains about the paperclip, and how Ava helped him. He says once he made it out, a priest helped him to stow away on a ship, but there were two mercenaries waiting for him in New York. He knocked them out, and took their guns and cash, but they’re still looking for him. Sonny wonders why he’d go to Ava, and not him. Real Jason says he did come to him.

Michael tells Nelle that he wasn’t looking for dirt; he was trying to prove her innocence. Nelle says she’s made mistakes and tried to leave them in past. The last thing she needs is her mistakes being resurrected and thrown in her face. She asks what if the roles were reversed? Is there something he hasn’t told her? He says he’d feel defensive, and there is something. She asks why he’s never told her, and he says the time never seemed right. Nelle says neither one of them has given full disclosure. She forgives him, but can he forgive her?

Ava explains to Griff that the picture is the man from the clinic. Griff asks where the sketch came from, and she says a random third party. Patient 6 is here, and it’s crazy, but they ran into each other by accident. When she mentioned Jason, he asked a lot of questions. Now she knows why. She shows Griff the headline about Jason being presumed dead. She says, apparently, he’s Jason too.

Sam asks Other Jason what if people think he’s getting back into the business. He says they’re not going to let their past keep them from the future they want. There’s a knock at the door, and it’s Monica looking for grandchildren. She explains Olivia-Q will be taking care of them while she goes to the party. In honor of tonight, she has something to give Jason from her and his father.

Real Jason tells Sonny that he went to his house first and let himself in. Sonny says the security codes have been changed, but Real Jason says he knew how to override them from Spinelli. He heard a guard say Sonny was gone, so he left. Sonny asks why he didn’t wait, but Real Jason says he didn’t know how long Sonny would be gone, so he did something stupid. He went to see Sam. He didn’t think it was fair for him to just show up, but he did. She wasn’t home, so he picked the lock. When he got inside, it didn’t feel like five years, more like five minutes; the time he lost hit him all at once. He couldn’t breathe, and went out on the terrace. When Sam came home, he was about to go in, but then he showed up. It didn’t take him long to figure out he was her husband, but had no idea Sam thinks it’s him.

Michael says he forgives Nelle. Her past is her own. Until she wants to share it, he’ll respect her privacy, but he needs to be able to trust what she says. He tells her now that’s settled, and they have a theater date. Nelle finishes up, and Michael gets a call about talking to the media about fracking. He asks who set this up?

Amy tells Nathan that Chet doesn’t know how his medical expenses were covered. He thinks the VA paid for everything. Nathan hopes she gets credit one day for everything she’s done. There are a lot of clueless bro’s out there who are now better off because of her.

Nina tells Maxie that she’s trying to read the employment package, but it’s wet. She knows the numbers are unacceptable though. She’s already factored more in. Maxie says Nina let her pitch her heart out in the steam room, when she knew she was rehiring her. Nina says she’s right, but she wanted to hear Maxie’s spiel. She thinks the Man Landers story is a great idea. She respects Maxie’s friendship with Lulu, but asks her to have the same courtesy and respect her marriage to Valentin. Maxie promises to stay out of it. She asks what changed Nina’s mind. Nina says not what, but who. It was her new boss, Jason.

Ava tells Griff that Patient 6 saw the picture of Avery, and knew Sonny’s house. He asked her to take a note to Sonny, who was a bastard like she knew he’d be. By the time she came back, Patient 6 was gone, and had left her a note. Griff asks if he signed it, and she says no, but she saw Franco sketching him. He’d said it was how Jason used to look before his facial reconstruction, so she swiped a sketch, and came back to do research. She says Patient 6 looks more like Jason than Jason did.

Jason opens the box, and it’s a pair of cufflinks. Monica explains it’s an Ouroboros, a snake consuming itself. It symbolizes rebirth, a move forward to consume the past, like what they’re doing. She knows Alan would want him to have them. He adored Jason, and his biggest regret was that they didn’t reconnect. She’s relieved he’s broken things off with Sonny and not working with him again. Other Jason says the things he did at twenty don’t serve him as an adult. Monica says it’s a new beginning, and she’s happy for them. She thanks him for choosing a new and better life. Geez, why does he looks so grim?

Real Jason tells Sonny that he could hear in Sam’s voice how much loves him. Sonny says Sam thinks she’s married to him. Real Jason says he put it together when Ava said Jason bought the media company, and she told him about the accident and how Carly figured out this guy was Jason. Sonny says there was DNA proof, and he knew things only Jason would know. Real Jason says he’s Jason. Sonny knows that, doesn’t he?  He’s Sonny’s best friend and brother. He has to tell him that he knows him.

Nathan and Maxie meet in the steam room. She wanted to celebrate in private. He asks what they’re celebrating. She says she has good news, and Nathan says he has something too. She wants him to go first. He says he’s done. No more intrusive fans or obnoxious tweets. His time as Ask Man Landers is officially over. Maxie tells him, no it’s not. He has to continue.

Nina sees Michael at Crimson. She gets a text, and says her stepdaughter is requesting she come to a tea party. She tells Michael that she’ll see him later at the launch party, but he says he and Nelle’s tickets are for tonight. He thanks her for pulling strings so they could get them, and she wishes she could say he’s welcome, but she didn’t do it. He says he must have misunderstood. She tells him congratulations; the tickets are difficult to get. She leaves, and Michael gets a text from Carly asking if he’s moving in with Nelle, and that Nelle implied they were.

Ava tells Griff that she thought about going to Sonny, but he thinks every word from her is a lie. Griff thinks maybe he could talk to Sonny, but Ava asks what he’ll say. Some man is running around with Jason’s face? She thinks if Patient 6 wants to get in touch with Sonny, he will; he seems impossible to stop. Griff asks if she thinks he’s dangerous, and she says he told her that he and Sonny are friends. Griff says what if he’s lying, and she asks if he struck Griff as a liar, but he has no idea.

Sam asks if Other Jason is wearing the cufflinks. He says they mean a lot. He likes the symbolism, and likes that they belonged to his father. Alan was a  good man, and he should have done better by him. Sam says it was a difficult situation. Jason says he was difficult. He fought to get away from Alan, and doesn’t know why. Sam says it’s time to make the formal announcement. He asks if she’s ready, and she says she is, as long as she’s by his side.

Sonny tells Real Jason that he’s been calling another guy Jason for two years, and what about the DNA? Real Jason can’t explain it. He knows nothing about him; he doesn’t even know himself. He went to work for Sonny in 1996. Sonny taught him everything he knows about business and most of what he knows about life. He’d never turn his back on Sonny, and would never start a media company. Somebody shot him in the back. Sonny tells him to stop. He puts down the gun. He shakes Real Jason’s hand, and says he knows it’s him. They hug.

Tomorrow, Molly tells Alexis no drama, Andre says Franco is getting closer to the truth, and Michael calls Nelle out about another lie.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Teresa and her father cook pork chops. The girls are going crazy, and grandpa says, mama mia, don’t scream. Teresa says she’s essentially a single mother, her dad is living with her now, and her mind is never going to be carefree. Her mother has been gone a month. She says the kids have been through a lot. It breaks her heart.

Dolores visits Siggy. Siggy tells her about lunch with Margaret. Dolores doesn’t trust her. Siggy says Margaret gave her a dig, saying everyone thinks she’s a yes person, including Teresa. In her interview, she doesn’t know where Teresa gets off calling her an ass kisser. She asks what to do next, and Siggy says hear Teresa out. She’s having a jewelry/handbag party. She thinks they should talk, but not with claws out.

Margaret and Joe #3 go to Melissa and Joe #2’s house for dinner. Melissa says she wants the story of how they met, and Joe #2 does a funny imitation of Margaret flirting with Joe #3. They decide to play pool. They kick the kids off the table, and Joe #3 breaks. Margaret says her lunch with Siggy started off rough, and Siggy cried like, five times. She says she felt badly, but they let the conversation happen. Melissa wonders where her apology is, since it was her birthday. Margaret thinks you shouldn’t cry over a cake, but Siggy is getting hormone pellets in her butt soon. Joe #3 says once they go through menopause, it’s all over.

Siggy unpacks groceries as she talks to son Josh. He’s sleeping at his girlfriend’s house. In her interview, she says she wants the opportunity to be a cool mom. She asks if he thinks Josh and his girlfriend will be going to school together, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. He hasn’t decided where he wants to go yet. She asks if it’s that painful to talk to his mom; she wants more than one-word answers. He asks why she’s upset, and she starts crying. She says everything she does annoys him, and she can’t give any more. In her interview, she wonders what if he goes away and forgets about her? He extracts himself quickly and I don’t blame him.

Teresa helps Milania with her spelling. Melissa drops by with cupcakes. Milania asks if she can miss dance on Saturday. In her interview Melissa says Teresa has her hands full, but she’s like Mr. Softy with the kids. Melissa tells her about Joe #2 buying the restaurant, but she knows already. Melissa is frustrated finding out she’s the last to know. She doesn’t know how he thinks he’ll have the time. Teresa says she was willing to kick in. Melissa thinks going into business with family is a bad idea, and doesn’t know what Joe was thinking.

At the office, Margaret’s mom talks about old friend Bob, who’s a friend with benefits. They’ve been sexting, but are getting together IRL. In her interview, Margaret says her mom is an out of control party girl, and she sometimes wishes she was raised by wolves. Her mother married young, left her father when she was two, and they basically raised each other, but her mom always came through for the kids. She knew she was loved even though they didn’t have a lot. Her mother says she’s not afraid of sex, and everyone goes, whoa, because they don’t want to hear it.

Siggy calls to invite Margaret to the party, but she’s going to be in Vegas. She says since Siggy is a relationship expert, maybe Siggy can help her mom find someone new to sext.

Teresa, Melissa, and Danielle meet for dinner. Danielle asks if anyone has heard or seen from Siggy and Dolores. In her interview, Danielle says she doesn’t want to create drama, but Dolores told her something about Teresa that wasn’t too nice. If Dolores doesn’t come clean, she’s going to have to say something herself. Teresa says Siggy apologized, and Melissa says still nothing for her. In her interview, Melissa tells us that she doesn’t even get sloppy thirds. Teresa says Milania gave her a headache, and Melissa says she knows how to work Teresa. She doesn’t want the girls to be mad at her, and needs to put her foot down. In her interview, Teresa is pissed that Melissa is telling her how to parent.

Teresa visits Joe #2’s new restaurant. She’s brought pictures. He wants to enhance the place, and asks what she wants to do first. He wants it to be about family. Melissa joins them. He says must be nice to roll in late, and Melissa says she runs a business and has three kids. Teresa thinks she should have delegated. She’s still annoyed about Melissa saying she should be stricter with her kids. Joe would like Teresa to be in the kitchen, and Melissa says she’ll hostess. Teresa asks if she’d waitress, and Melissa says no. Teresa thinks Melissa will just hang out on the weekends and drink wine. They bicker. In his interview, Joe says they’re making him nervous. He thought this sh*t was over. He tells them no more of this stuff, and Melissa says they started it.

Siggy is helping Dolores stage the house for selling it. Her boyfriend wants to move closer. She sees a future with him, and he doesn’t mind that she lives with Frank. Siggy says she’s having anxiety about Josh leaving, and he gets irritated with everything. Dolores says he has a lot going on inside with leaving his girlfriend; she went through the same thing with Frankie. She tells Siggy to let it go.

Teresa organizes Milania’s slime collection with her. She says whoever invented slime is no good. Milania emails her dad. It breaks Teresa’s heart that Joe #1 is missing all the little moments, and they need him. It’s time they’ll never get back. She thinks Milania doesn’t need more discipline, but more attention and love When Teresa asks for a hug, Milania jets.

Tons of women gather for Siggy’s party. Dolores is early because Siggy wanted to introduce her around. Siggy is frustrated with Melissa, who she thinks owes her an apology.

Teresa has her makeup done. Danielle picks her up. Man, prison time looks good on Teresa – she looks amazing. Danielle asks if she’s heard from Dolores, and Teresa says no. Danielle tells Teresa that Dolores said something not so nice about her – she’s not concerned about anything or anyone more than money, and be careful. She was hoping Dolores would come clean. Teresa is shocked. She wonders why Dolores would say that to Danielle. She can’t even comprehend it. She can’t wait to confront her about it. Danielle says good friends don’t say things like that.

Siggy thanks everyone for coming, and hawks the bags. Wow. That’s a lot of bags. Melissa arrives. She wonders what the deal is, since she hasn’t heard from them. Siggy says she was livid at the birthday party, and Melissa says she was relentless at the table, calling them names. After what happened, they were freaked out, and thought she’d call the next morning saying she’d had one too many. Siggy says in a million years, she’d never throw a beautiful cake across the floor. Melissa says sorry; she’ll buy her a cake. In her interview, Melissa says, we ate the cake, threw the cake, the cake is done. Siggy makes an announcement for everyone to shut up. She asks if they had a beautiful, three-tiered cake given to them for their birthday, how many people think throwing it across the room would be rude? Show of hands. Omg, really? No surprise, everyone agrees. She says who does that? Dolores has no idea why she did this. Siggy lies on the floor in front of Melissa, and says it’s all she wanted. Melissa is completely embarrassed. She doesn’t know anyone, and is surprised she’s even still there. Me too. I would have left.

Teresa gets there, and Melissa tells her and Danielle what just happened. Teresa is like, no she didn’t, but is glad it wasn’t her. She says family comes first, and no one is humiliating her SIL. She confronts Siggy, and Siggy says she was upset. Teresa says they ate the cake. They were having fun, and the stuff she said was horrible. She asks why Dolores was quiet, and Dolores says Siggy was upset. In her interview, Dolores says she has a history of being a loyal friend, but can’t say the same for everybody. She says she’s been sticking up for Teresa a long time, and would never let anyone talk about her.

Danielle repeats what Dolores said to her. Dolores jumps up, and calls her a m-effing liar, and a crazy scumbag. She gets in Danielle’s face. Danielle says she has no ulterior motive and nothing to gain from saying it. Dolores tells Teresa that Danielle is a starving, hungry bitch, and she’d never say that. Teresa needs to sleep with one eye open, because Danielle is up to no good. Methinks Dolores got real hot real fast because Danielle speaks the truth.

Delores says she has no history of stabbing Teresa in the back. She tells Teresa she has a choice; believe her or Danielle. In her interview Teresa says Dolores has been distant, and she and Danielle might have a crazy past, but they’re getting along great now. She asks why Danielle would lie. Dolores keeps calling Danielle crazy, and Danielle is like, thanks for the diagnosis. She says Danielle isn’t hard to diagnose. In her interview, Danielle says Dolores is clearly guilty; Helen Keller could see she’s lying. Danielle leaves the room, and Teresa and Melissa follow.

Danielle is all weepy, and Teresa asks what’s wrong. She tells Teresa that she was telling the truth. Back in the other room, Dolores tells Siggy that Danielle is out for revenge. In the past, Teresa created a lot of problems for her, and she’d better watch her ass. All of a sudden, it’s water under the bridge? She doesn’t think so. Danielle tells Teresa she’s shaken and wants to go home. Teresa and Melissa say they’ll go too. Teresa tells Siggy that she’s taking Danielle home. Delores says she’s afraid for Teresa; something’s not right. In her interview, Melissa doesn’t know how Dolores and Siggy can be so dismissive. Every time Siggy cries, they have to bow down and comfort her, and she’s still waiting for her apology. Dolores says if she wasn’t Teresa’s friend, she wouldn’t have warned her.

Next time, Joe #2 sees his name in lights, Melissa and Teresa argue, Gia agrees with Melissa, and Siggy criticizes Margaret.

😒 Officially not liking Siggy. She needs to get those hormones stat. Maybe the OC’s Shannon can go with her.

🏡 Tonight was the finale of Channel Zero: No End House. It was very weird and I enjoyed it, but I still have no idea what it was supposed to be about. Since a decision had to be made, I’ve chosen the viewpoint that it was an allegory about coming of age in suburbia. The next chapter will be served in 2018, with Channel Zero: Butcher’s Block.

Sad News…

😢 Okay, maybe it only made me sad. Tinsley and Scott have broken up. …sniff….


And for some pre-Halloween/Housewives viewing pleasure…


October 18, 2017 – Ava Carries a Message, a Truce in New Jersey, a Little Star & Psychedelic Fabulousity


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Oscar tells Josslyn the wholesome family life is different, but she says a life being followed by bodyguards is hardly wholesome. He says it’s still a family, and it’s new to him. He wonders where they begin to look for his father. Josslyn says that they can do this, and they will.

Carly tells Sonny that she likes Oscar, but they can’t be too careful. Sonny says she can’t hover. She says she can, but just can’t make it look like they are. She tells him it doesn’t hurt to set limits, and Sonny warns her not to turn Josslyn into a rebel and cause her to do things she’s not ready for. He tells Carly to leave them alone.

At the hospital, Finn asks if Cassandra is done with her tests. She says she’s done for now. She doesn’t mind enduring it, since she has faith that he’ll get to the bottom of her illness. She points out that his lover is here, and we see Anna on her phone.

At Crimson, Valentin tells Nina it’s official; Jason and Sam have acquired Derek Wells Media. He’s thought it was a perfect acquisition for them to run together, but Nina says it’s freedom to start over. He tells her it’s easier to acquire a company that exits than start their own. She says Jason will clean house and she probably won’t have a job by the end of the week. Jason walks in, and she says make that by the end of the day. She says she knows why he’s here, and he says good, it won’t take long then.

Betsy comes home to Franco sitting on her couch. She says he didn’t say he was coming over, and he tells her that’s because she would have found a reason not to be there. She’ll do anything to avoid telling him the truth about Jason’s twin, and he needs to know. I like the realistic touch of her calling Franco “Bobby,” the same way Nina is the only one who calls Nathan “Jay.”

Patient 6 asks Ava if there was bad blood between Jason and Julian. She says Julian has bad blood with pretty much everyone in Port Charles; even they’ve had their moments. She’s just surprised that he sold the one legitimate enterprise he had. She says he’ll be glad his daughter will benefit, but not so much Jason. Patient 6 asks if she has a picture of Jason.

Finn says, hi, honey, to Anna. She says she was just looking for him, and explains to Cassandra that she has a blood condition and was there for her treatment. Cassandra says it’s hard not to be jealous of a couple in love. She leaves, and Felicia asks them if they’re dating.

Valentin tells Jason that he and Nina were hoping to acquire the company, but Julian accepted his offer, so he must want to keep it in the family. He didn’t know Jason and Sam had backgrounds in communications. Jason says they’re fast learners. Nina says that it’s obvious he came to fire her, so get it over with.

Betsy says she’s told Franco everything. Andrew died from an undiagnosed heart defect. Franco says he’s not sure that’s the truth. He looked for a death certificate, and came up empty. He wonders if Andrew is still alive.

Ava looks on her tablet for a press release, telling Patient 6 that Sam is Julian’s daughter. She wonders why he’s so fascinated with Jason, then says she thinks she knows. He’s been away from Port Charles so long, he must have thought Jason was dead. Everybody else did.

Nina tells Jason she’s not going out without fight. Julian thought she’d sink the Crimson ship and he’d get a tax write-off, but she made the magazine a huge success. Valentin tells her there are other companies she can work for, but she says no boss could be worse than Julian. She made the magazine rise from the ashes, and kept it soaring. Jason would be a fool to fire her. Jason says he knows; he’s asking her stay.

Ava tells Patient 6 to brace himself; it’s a helluva story. Before she came to Port Charles, Jason was shot down at the docs by Faison. He was in a high-tech Duke Lavery mask, and it was very Mission Impossible. He fell into the water, and Helena found him. She kept him in a clinic, but he escaped. He was recaptured, and escaped again, but was hit by a car. His injuries were severe, and he required complete facial reconstruction. Patient 6 asks if he had an ID. She says no ID, no face, and for two years, he didn’t even remember his name. He asks why they thought he was Jason, and she says Carly figured it out.

Carly tells Sonny that she’s almost at the point where she’s going to force Oscar to introduce her to his mother. Sonny asks what she’s going to do if Oscar’s mother forbids him to see Josslyn, and Josslyn blames her. He suggests waiting until she asks to meet, but Carly says she has to do something now.

Oscar tells Josslyn that he asked his mom about his dad again, and she told him to leave it alone. Josslyn says it’s up to them then. He tells her the father was left blank on his birth certificate, but he was born in Austen after his mom moved there from San Diego. Josslyn says they’ll start in San Diego. He says his mom’s name and a city isn’t much to go on. They almost kiss, and Carly pops in, asking how the homework is going.

Betsy says if Franco couldn’t find the death certificate, it must have been misfiled or has a typo. Andrew existed for a brief time, and doesn’t deserve to be forgotten. It broke her heart to say goodbye to him. Why would she lie? Franco asks if she’s kidding after telling him that Andrew was imaginary. She says she did it to protect him, and he says there was no reason. He’d thought she was the one person in the world who would never lie to him, but he’s starting to question it. She says she did nothing wrong, except take in a child the Quartermaines didn’t know existed. Franco asks her to help him find peace. He wants to see Andrew’s grave.

Josslyn tells Carly that they were just wishing each other luck on their projects. Carly says luck is good, but hard work is better. Oscar says she sounds like his mom, which is a perfect segue for Carly, who wants to meet her. Oscar says she works a lot; she’s a doctor at Mercy Hospital. Carly says she works a lot too, but can Oscar make it happen? He says he’ll try, and Carly says she’s sure they can come up with a mutually convenient time. When she’s gone, Josslyn says she’s impossible. Oscar says it’s okay. His mom is so busy, it probably won’t happen – ever. Josslyn asks if her mom seems like the type to let things go.

Inside, Sonny tells Carly they’re kids, and meeting parents is a big step. Carly says they’re making a big deal out of nothing, and they’ll get along fine.

Jason doesn’t want to mess with success. Nina wonders why he didn’t just say so, and he says she didn’t give him a chance. Valentin takes Nina aside and asks why she wants to work for a CEO with no experience. She says she didn’t have any either, and she loves her job. He tells her that she’s exceptional, but Jason has the good sense to keep her on, so he’ll leave her to negotiate. He leaves, and Jason tells Nina that he didn’t seem very happy. She says he isn’t, but he supports her career and independence. She’s sure she wants to stay, but they need to iron out a deal about creative autonomy.

Valentin gets a text from Cassandra, asking if they can pick up where they left off last night.

Felicia wants to know why Anna didn’t tell her about her new beau. Anna says it’s new, unbelievably new. Felicia says she and Mac have had a renaissance in their marriage, so she’s glad to see new love. She tells Finn to treat Anna right, and Finn says, do no harm. Felicia tells him the healing gods are watching, and she can’t wait to tell Mac. When she’s gone, Finn asks Anna if they have to fool a whole city, and she says, yes, honey.

Franco says Betsy must have visited Andrew’s grave. He babbles about how she can tell him stories about the two of them as toddlers during the ride. She says they both crawled and walked at the same time, and talked baby talk to one another as if they were the only two who understood each other. Andrew learned his numbers faster, but Franco was better with crayons. Andrews first word was Franco’s name. He asks what his first word was, and Betsy says “mine.” She doesn’t want to visit the pain again, and Franco asks her to just tell him where the grave is. She says he doesn’t want to go to that place – to the truth about Andrew and him.

Patient 6 asks Ava why Carly would think the guy was Jason. She says there were DNA tests, and whatever was found was enough for her to interrupt Jason’s wedding. He asks if Jason was marrying Sam, and she says no, Elizabeth Webber; they had a child together. He finally recovered enough memory to realize he was still in love with Sam. She says they’re surprisingly old-fashioned and believe they’re soulmates whose love will never die. She asks why he’s so interested in Jason.

Valentin sees Cassandra in the park. He says she took a risk confronting him at the restaurant. She says it wasn’t a confrontation; she kissed him. He says it felt like one. She says she was just sharing a moment with an old friend. They used to be business partners and partners in bed, and she’d like to rekindle both.

Jason tells Nina that she’s done an amazing job. She says she was no expert when she started. He tells her he’s committed to making it work, but it’s new to him, and asks if she has any advice. She says when she started, she hired someone who knew what they were doing, and they showed her how to run the place. He asks if she means Maxie. Nina says Maxie was brilliant at her job, but she had to fire her because she betrayed Nina’s trust. Jason says sometimes there’s no coming back from that.

Josslyn goes to a website where she says you can find out anything about anybody. She finds out what we all do when you try that – it costs money. She tells Oscar that she has a credit card for emergencies, and thinks this qualifies. What if he needs his medical history?

Ava asks if Patient 6 knows Jason. He looks at a photograph, and she tells him it’s her daughter, Avery. The picture was taken in her father’s house. He asks if her father is Sonny, and Ava says he obviously knows him well enough to know the inside of his house. That would explain his connection to Morgan. She says that she and Sonny have a kid, the one great thing from a one-time mistake. Patient 6 says that he and Sonny are friends, and he needs her to give him a message.

Franco doesn’t want to cause Betsy any pain. She tells him to stop then; why does he need to know? Andrew is gone. Franco says not from his thoughts and dreams. He’s having nightmares, and can’t focus on anything but Andrew. He can’t do this and be with Elizabeth. He needs peace. Betsy tells him that Andrew didn’t die and didn’t have a heart defect. She made it up. For all she knows, Jason’s twin is still alive.

Ava tells Patient 6 that she’s not his best emissary. He tells her to just take the note to Sonny. She says there’s no point, and he tells her there is if it comes from him. She tells Patient 6 that Sonny won’t read it; he hates her. Patient 6 tells her to figure out an angle, and he can take it from there. Ava would rather not provoke Sonny.

Anna tells Finn if they shut Cassandra down, they’ll saves lives; doesn’t that mean something? He tells her that he only went into medicine for the money and the chicks. Of course it means something. She says then work with her and help her.

Valentin tells Cassandra that his circumstances have changed considerably. He’s married to a phenomenal woman. He has more to risk and lose; home, family and love. Cassandra calls him noble and principled, but says principles don’t pay well. He tells her about inheriting the Cassadine estate, and says he’s fabulously wealthy. She says being rich is expensive, and her business is booming. He says people are dying from her opioids. She says she doesn’t kill people, drugs do, and they choose to pay for them. He says he quit while he was ahead and she might consider following his lead. She says while she has a hugely successful enterprise, money can’t buy health. She needs him to shoulder the burden, and asks if he wants what she has to offer.

Josslyn tells Oscar that sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. His past has just been paid for.

Patient 6 tells Ava that she wanted to prove she’s a good person, and this is how she can do that. Take the note to Sonny.

Sonny tells Carly that she wants to manage the situation. She says she wants to protect Josslyn. He says it’s her first real relationship, and she’s going to get hurt. Carly says it’s not a relationship; it’s friend dating. Sonny asks if that’s a thing. She says it had better be. He asks what if another girl catches Oscar’s eye, and Carly says she’ll kick his ass. Sonny says he should probably keep an eye on her, and they kiss.

Oscar sees his grandparent’s address, but says they died when he was little. He has no other family, so they’re no closer to an answer. Josslyn says they really need his father’s name. Maybe his mom has something hidden. He says it’s not going to happen. Maybe there’s something hidden, but he tried looking once, and was afraid she’d find out. Josslyn says it’s a big secret, but since she was six, she’s been able to find her Christmas presents every year without anyone finding out. She asks if he wants to go looking now.

Betsy tells Franco that Andrew could be alive; she doesn’t know what happened after he left. Franco is like, he was three; how far could he go? She says he was the kind of boy who said goodnight to every one of his stuffed toys. She gave him up. She loved him and still does, and prays to see him again. She wants to know that he’s okay, and what kind of man he became. She’ll never stop missing him. Franco asks why she let him go, and she says he wasn’t safe. Franco asks why.

Felicia suggests that she and Mac double-date with Anna and Finn. Anna says that would be fun, and Finn says fun is an understatement.

Valentin tells Cassandra that he’s learned that if something is to good to be true, that’s usually correct. She says her security is tight; no one will tie him to her. He tells her that it’s important to be a good example to his daughter. He doesn’t think he could live with himself, knowing that people are dying from a product he distributed. Cassandra says he’s forgotten who he’s talking to. He did his fair share of killing, and could look someone in the eye while they were dying and his heart rate wouldn’t even waiver. She wonders why the sudden attack of conscience. Well, he just explained that, and he killed because he was a spy and a mercenary in his other life. I’m disappointed that he doesn’t say that. They talk a bit in French. I took two years of it, but can only tell you how to pack a suitcase and curse you out. Cassandra says Valentin is at his best when he’s dancing on the edge; it’s the only place he feels safe. She says we are what we are, and he’ll go absolutely mad not being himself. Valentin tells her that he’s not jeopardizing everything he cherishes for the thrill of a game. She says he’ll change his mind – sooner than he thinks.

Josslyn tells Carly that they’re going to the library. Carly says she’ll drop them off. And pick them up. Josslyn says that’s not necessary. Sonny says it’s not like they can get away with anything. Josslyn says they wouldn’t even try. Carly tells Oscar to text his mom, and get some dates when they could get together.

Nina tells Jason that she’s not sure if she and Maxie could ever overcome their differences enough to work together again. She tells him his problem is finding someone who’s not afraid of telling him when he’s wrong. He says he thinks he’s looking at her.

Betsy says Franco has one more chance to step away. Franco says he’s not taking it. She tells him that one day after Andrew’s third birthday, she was fixing diner and heard screaming. He was lying at the bottom of the stairs, twisted and bleeding, and nearly dead.

Ava thanks Sonny for seeing her. He says whatever she’s asking, the answer is no, so go ahead and leave. She says if he sends her away, he’ll miss out on something important.

Jason looks around Ava’s place. He puts his stuff in his pockets, checks his guns, and leaves.

Betsy tells Franco that Andrew was badly injured. He had broken bones and a concussion. It was a miracle he survived. Franco doesn’t understand, and asks what caused the fall. She says he did. Saw that coming.

Tomorrow, Lulu tells Laura to say yes, Doc tells Griff that he doesn’t look like a man at peace, and Sonny asks who gave Ava the note.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Margaret discusses her launch party for cosmetic bags with her staff. She’s throwing a party in her house, which is still under construction. She says it looks like a bomb hit, and it kinda does. Her contractor husband won’t let anyone else work on it, because he thinks the other men will hit on her. She says he’s delusional, but adorable. Margaret talks about Siggy being unhinged at the party.

Michael instructs Siggy on making meatballs. She’s upset about the weekend. She’s sad about Teresa and Melissa, but livid about Margaret. She tells Michael about Margaret calling her Soggy. Michael suggests just working it out with Teresa and Melissa.

Margaret talks to her friends about the weekend. She says she didn’t know they weren’t going to yoga, and that Siggy has no uterus, so she has no reason to cry every day. Margaret is willing to move past it. She says she doesn’t hold grudges, except against her mother. I think that’s a joke.

Frank says Dolores folds clothing wrong. In her interview, she says he thinks he’s going to rule the roost because he’s back, but it’s not happening. He created an issue between himself and Frankie because he overreacted. He tells her it’s the first time Frankie has had both parents in the same house, and they parent differently. She suggests they meet in the middle. He has no problem with that. We’ll see.

Teresa moves her dad’s furniture into her house. She wants him to be as comfortable as possible. Melissa and Joe #2 help. Joe asks what happened in Boca. Melissa says in a nutshell, Siggy thinks she’s too good for them. Joe wonders where Dolores’s loyalty is, since she’s known them forever, and knows Siggy for less than a year.

Dolores tells Frank about what happened, and says if Siggy said she didn’t call them animals, she believes it. She thinks Margaret is no good. She turned on Siggy after Siggy brought her into the group.

Melissa checks out the new merchandise at Envy. Margaret comes by, and she loves it. Melissa tells us that they bonded over being in the same industry. She says she’ll introduce Melissa to the right people. She’s up for any constructive criticism Margaret has. Danielle drops in. Margaret tells them about the cosmetic bag launch. She tells them Siggy blocked her on social media, and Melissa thinks it’s childish. I agree. I don’t even like the word unfriend; it seems immature. (Although don’t let this stop you from watching the movie with that title. It is scary good.) Melissa wonders why Siggy is mad at Margaret, since she’s the one who walked out. Margaret says Melissa and Teresa stormed out, but by the time they got home, she was the mortal enemy. Danielle thinks it’s because Siggy brought her in, and she feels like Margaret should have leaned on her more. Margaret says she thinks she was in shock after Siggy’s eff-you. She calls Siggy from the store, saying that they haven’t spoken and have tons to discuss, but she’s calling to invite her to the launch party. Siggy says she appreciates the invite, but too much happened in Boca that she’s upset about. She doesn’t want to go and be all phony, but she hopes it’s a success. Margaret asks if they can’t move past it, and Siggy says no. She introduced Margaret to everyone, and Margaret called her Soggy. Margaret says she hopes Siggy can move past it, and hangs up. She says that Siggy has to grow up. She’s the type who feels like she owns you because she introduced you around. She says she’s going to text Dolores, and tell her that her sidekick isn’t coming.

Dolores and the two Franks go out to eat. Dolores reminds us about how Frankie’s counselor called about him lagging behind with college applications. Frank says Dolores thinks he’s too rough on Frankie, and asks what colleges he’s seriously considering. Frankie gives him a few names, and says his girlfriend wants to see if they can make it work. Frank said he made the mistake of not breaking it off before college and it was a disaster. Frankie says Frank is more of a multiple girl guy, where he’s a one girl guy. Dolores laughs. Check please.

Joe #2 tells Melissa that the mausoleum wants to know what should be written on the granite. He’s thinking of love will never die in Italian. He says he goes there every morning, and has it together until he walks in and starts bawling. Melissa tells us that he puts on a happy face for the family, but struggles every day with the loss of his mother. Joe tells her that every time he has to deal with something, it’s like reliving the moment and feels like a punch in the gut. He asks Melissa how long before the pain goe away? She says she lost her father when she was seventeen, but it never does. She suggests keeping busy, and Joe says he has to keep his father occupied. In his interview, Joe says they were married thirty-seven years. He’s only been with Melissa thirteen, and would be a mess if he lost her.

Siggy meets Teresa for drinks. Teresa says the last time didn’t end so well. Siggy thinks when Teresa is with the others, she gets caught up in the moment, but one-on-one, she’ll see where Siggy is coming from. She tells Teresa that she’s upset about the cake thing. Teresa admits to letting loose a little bit, and says the alcohol played a part, but Siggy said a lot of things out of character, and then reprimanded them the next day. Teresa says she walked out because she didn’t like what Siggy was saying, and she’s sorry. They’ve both said things they didn’t mean, and she feels bad. Siggy wants to know what Margaret’s excuse is. She and Margaret have a bigger issue. She says she wants to pull the pigtails out of Margaret’s head, she hates her, and everything out of her mouth is another dagger. Stellhe doesn’t want to go to her party. In her interview, Teresa wonders if she’s getting Soggy Siggy or Psycho Siggy; she’s becoming unhinged. Teresa asks why she can’t just come, and Siggy says she hates that effing bitch. Geez.

Margaret tells her husband (yet another Joe) that she can’t live like this with all the construction. Joe #3 says that they’re two months out. She says the design company is about selling fabulousity, and she doesn’t want to be embarrassed.

Melissa and Joe #2 go out to lunch. They go to an Italian pizzeria, and there’s no one else there. Joe tells her that he bought it. He bought into an existing restaurant, but he’s changing the name. He tells her that he can’t keep all his eggs in the real estate basket. In her interview, Melissa says she’s biting her tongue, and doesn’t want to own a restaurant; it’s a lot of work. He shows her the kitchen, and introduces her to the chef, Nicky. Nicky brings out some penne vodka, and Joe declares it fast food, but gourmet. Melissa says when she opened Envy, she let him know about every step along the way, and he totally blindsided her. Joe says it will give his dad something to do. Melissa tells us they’re all worried about his dad, but it feels like an excuse, and she wishes he’d talked to her. Joe tells her that his dad is excited about it.

Teresa goes to a meeting about her new book, Standing Strong. It’s her sixth one. She wants herself in a tree pose on the cover. The editor says she went deep with the last one, but thinks there’s more and Teresa can go deeper. She says in the last one, Teresa still seemed to have her guard up, and the fans want to know about how her life isn’t perfect when she’s getting the girls up for school at 6 am, or missing Joe #1. She thinks it will be financially rewarding. In her interview, Teresa says she feels pressure as the sole provider. She just paid off the restitution, and has to save for the girls’ college. The last book was number two on the NY Times bestseller list, and they’re hoping for number one this time.

Margaret tells her makeup guy that her house is a sh*t show. She finds out the oven isn’t working. She tells Joe #3 to fix it. She ends up calling a neighbor and asks if she can use their oven. The assistants prepare the food for transport.

Dolores goes to Siggy’s house. They’re having a slumber party, and they’re both in pajamas and pigtails. Ugh. Siggy says she’d rather stick a hot poker in her eye than go to Margaret’s party. In her interview, Dolores says that she was vulnerable when she met Siggy, and just coming off of a failed engagement. Siggy made her come out of her shell, and she’ll always have her back no matter what. They do a peel-off mask.

The food comes back, and the party comes together. Melissa, Teresa, and Joe #2 arrive. Melissa says Margaret’s house is over-the-top, psychedelic, and reeks of fabulousity.

Dolores tells Siggy this is better than Margaret’s party. She says Siggy was mistreated in her own house with her own friends; just imagine being in Margaret’s house with her friends. She’s hoping Teresa and Melissa defend them if their names come up. They’re idiots.

Melissa has a cotton candy martini, and my stomach turns just thinking about it. Margaret tells them Dolores isn’t coming. In her interview, Teresa says Dolores is becoming a Siggy minion. She’s sent a text to Margaret, saying she doesn’t know what loyalty is. Teresa says she’s known Dolores for twenty years. Danielle wonders if Siggy or Dolores really sent the text. She can’t tell them apart. To be honest, it was hard for me at the beginning of the season.

Siggy wants to put on music so they can dance. She shows Dolores some of her new dance moves, and the whole thing is ridiculous.

Joes #2 and #3 wonder what’s up with these women. Teresa tells Margaret about how Siggy hates her. Margaret says she can move past almost anything. Danielle suggests she text Siggy. At Siggy’s house, she says Margaret just checked her. She reads the text to Dolores. It says sorry she’s not at the party, and sorry she’s not with the girl who introduced her to everyone. She’s hoping they can meet and put it behind them. Dolores says she’s only saying this because she has to. Siggy feels that she owes it to herself to meet. Dolores doesn’t think it will go well. She thinks Margaret is a sneak who wants to take Siggy’s place in the group. Oh brother. Siggy says they’re meeting at the diner tomorrow. Dolores tells her to close the chapter. At the party, Margaret hopes they can put it to rest, but if the waterworks start, she doesn’t know what she’ll do.

The next day, it’s miserable out. Welcome to New Jersey. Siggy and Margaret meet at the diner. Margaret says she missed Siggy. Siggy says after what happened in Boca, she was hurt. Margaret doesn’t know what she did that was so awful, and Siggy says she didn’t even think to call her about the memorial. Margaret says there was a group text, and it wasn’t intentional. Siggy complains that Margaret had been hanging out with her friends all day, and Margaret points out that Siggy was hanging out with Dolores. Why is Siggy so angry with her; she’s the one who introduced them. Siggy tells Margaret that she insulted her in front of her friends, and she was deeply hurt. Margaret says it didn’t sound like she was coming from a place of empowerment. Siggy says she doesn’t want to empower, but destroy Margaret. Margaret says this is hypocrisy at the highest level. They should be able to laugh at themselves the way they laugh at others, and Joan Rivers would have loved her Soggy remark. Siggy starts getting weepy, and Margaret suggests maybe she should be on medication. Siggy says she’s getting some kind of hormone pellets in her butt, and asks if Margaret wants to come to the appointment. I have the feeling she needs more than pellets in her butt to straighten her out. This chick is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Margaret says the last thing she wants to do is make a girl feel bad. It wasn’t her intention. In her interview, Margaret says Siggy crying in a group of people is theatrical, but when they’re alone, it makes her feel horrible. She says she’s a wiseass, but doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Siggy says Margaret doesn’t realize how sensitive she is. She feels like they don’t know each other, and Margaret says it’s like they’re dating. She says she was just trying to be funny, and truly apologizes. In her interview, Siggy says she’s going to hold Margaret at arm’ length, and take baby steps. Margaret tells Siggy that she’s obnoxious, but can’t help it. Siggy says now that she knows, she won’t be as offended, but Margaret thinks she could use some toughening up. Siggy says when they meet again, she’ll have pellets in her ass.

Next time, Teresa asks Melissa if she’s going to wait tables, Siggy takes a poll about the cake, and Dolores goes off on Danielle.

🌃 On Watch What Happens Live, Siggy admitted she overreacted about the cake. My opinion is that giving someone a fancy cake is like putting the dog in a costume on Halloween. After you take the pictures, then it’s theirs to destroy.

⭐ On Star, Ayanna thought she would cut the girls out after Star tried to strangle her publicist. No surprise, they went to Ayanna’s big party anyway. When they caught the attention of a temperamental celebrity that Ayanna was trying to woo, she had no choice but to kiss their collective asses. Ayanna told Star that she was lost, but Star said they seem to be trying to do the same thing, jump through hoops to impress Ayanna’s dad. While Star figured her own dad, Brody, showed up because he smelled future money, he insisted that wasn’t the case, showing her a childhood drawing she made for him that he carries with him. Carlotta had to rescue Simone from herself, when she went out to create chaos with ex-cellmate Karen, and Derek confronted Alex about her stress shopping. He also admitted that he’d been hiding from the outside world, and confronted a racist a-hole at the deli, although that didn’t exactly turn out well, when the racist overturned Derek’s wheelchair. Queen Latifah’s hair wasn’t that eventful this week, but she sang her heart out at a worship service, while simultaneously, the girls sang the same song at Ayanna’s party, and it was this week’s everything. Star will return after the World Series, when Star threatens to kill Brody.

Psychedelic Fabulousity According to Google…



March 8, 2017 – Nina Testifies, a Renewed Star, a Brief Note & a Sad Note


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Nelle is packing. She says there’s nothing left for her in Port Charles. She looks at the keyring that Michael gave her, and thinks about their time at the cabin.

Sonny comes by Michael’s office. He wants to apologize.

There’s a knock at Nelle’s door. It’s Carly. She says she’s dropping off Nelle’s last paycheck. She tells Nelle that there will be hell to pay if she comes near her family again.

When Valentin sees Nina, Nora reminds him to remain calm and stable. Nina says she’s Charlotte’s stepmother, and there to make a statement. She apologizes for being late. The judge tells her to take a seat, and tell them what she thinks is in Charlotte’s best interest.

Jordan tells Julian that they searched the basement, and there’s no sign of Olivia-J or Anna. Julian says he didn’t tell her the basement, he said under the hospital, and if Olivia finds out Anna is trailing her, there’s no telling what she’ll do.

Oooh! They replay “Duke’s” reincarnation. Olivia says it worked. Griff/Duke says because of her, he lives again. This is way cool.

Michael tells Sonny that it’s been a long day and he just wants to get home. Sonny doesn’t expect him to say all is forgiven, but he wants Michael to hear him out. He says Michael cared about Nelle, and Michael says he thought they were getting close. Michael tells Sonny that if he wants to apologize, it shouldn’t be to him.

Nelle tells Carly that her life is none of Carly’s business. Carly asks if Nelle made the lies up herself or did deadbeat Frank make them up? Nelle asks if he was such a deadbeat, why did he keep this, and shows her the rattle. Carly says he probably wanted to pawn it. She says he didn’t give a damn about her until she was grown-up, married, and rich

Nora is like, jackpot, but Valentin says we’ll see. Lulu tells Laura that it’s a disaster, but Laura says maybe not. She has faith things will work out like they’re supposed to. Nina says she wants to tell the court the truth about her marriage.

Anna tells Griff/Duke to stay away from Olivia-J. He says stay out of it; he owes his life to Olivia. Olivia says there were more incantations to be done, but Griff/Duke says her passion drew him back. He kisses her, and says she proved everyone wrong. Olivia sees Duke instead of Griff, and hugs him. Anna is like, wha…?

Jordan wonders what Olivia-J wants with the foundation of the hospital, and asks if Julian thinks something is buried there. Julian says he doesn’t know, but she’s obsessed. Jordan says they know she was obsessed with Duke, and asks if he thinks Griff is in danger. Julian says maybe.

Griff/Duke tells Olivia-J that she sacrificed everything to bring him back, and he doesn’t know how to make it up to her. Olivia is just happy he’s there. Griff gives Anna the eye when he embraces Olivia. He says that he and Olivia can leave there and be together forever. Olivia says she’s waited forever to hear those words, but what about Anna? They won’t have to worry for too long; she’s going to bleed to death while they’re goofing around.

Nina says when she and Valentin got together, they were strangers. Their relationship grew quickly, which was a surprise to her and everyone else. She says people saw their marriage as a sham, and nothing could be further from the truth. She loves him, and they got married because they love each other. In him, she sees a capacity to love and nurture that she never knew existed. He encouraged her to form a bond with Charlotte, and she loves her. She says Lulu is allowing her animosity toward Valentin to blind her to the truth. It would be a mistake to take Charlotte away from the father she loves and the home she knows.

Julian hears the door to his room open, and says he wants to be left alone. Winston, pretending to be a doctor, asks if he doesn’t have time for an old friend.

Griff/Duke says he’ll always love Anna, but his heart belongs to Olivia-J; the past is over. He says the best thing for all of them would be for Anna to leave and get the help she needs. Jordan looks around the basement and sees the fingerprints near the secret door.

Michael asks why Sonny would throw it all away. Sonny says he didn’t plan it, but on Thanksgiving night, Morgan was gone, and he couldn’t think straight. He thought he and Carly were done, and got drunk. Nelle saw the state he was in, and while they were putting Morgan in the ground, she worked herself in; it was a trap. Michael says she was plotting against them, being who they wanted her to be, so she could get close. Sonny says she fooled all of them to get at Carly. Michael says at the end, she tried to stop it, and he can see what could have been if she was the person she was pretending to be. Sonny says he’s lucky; the only real thing is her grudge against Carly. Michael says Sonny could have warned them; all he had to do is tell the truth.

Nelle says Carly wants to paint Frank in a bad light. He reached out to her, and she rejected him. Carly says she’s living in a fantasyland that Frank created. He only hit her up for cash. Nelle dumps out a bunch of letters out of her trinket box. They all say return to sender.

Lulu asks Diane if she can do something, and says Diane has to prove Valentin is unfit. She says she has an option, but it’s brutal and final, and there will be no room for compromise.

Nora thanks Nina. Her phone rings, and she steps away. Valentin tells Nina how grateful he is. She says she’s not done fighting with him about the secrets he’s keeping from her, but he and their marriage are worth the fight.

Diane wants to file a petition to remove Charlotte from Valentin’s home. He’s guilty of a felony – kidnapping his own daughter.

Griff/Duke tells Olivia-J that Anna has no place in their life. Anna says she’s not walking away. Griff/Duke says it’s for the best. Anna says he needs to take care of himself, and he says he will, good-by. Olivia says she can’t let that happen, and draws a gun that must have been in her shoe.

Winston tells Julian that he needs to tie up loose ends. They can’t risk Julian opening his mouth. He and Julian struggle on the bed, and Winston puts pillows over Julian’s head. Felix walks in and asks what’s going on, and Winston jets. Julian tells Felix to get Jordan.

Jordan is told Julian was attacked. She asks if it was Olivia-J, but learns it was a man posing as a doctor. She runs back upstairs.

Olivia-J says that Anna will go to the police. Griff/Duke tells her that they’ll be long gone. She says they can’t allow a witness, and she’s sorry, but Anna has to die.

Valentin says that’s absurd. Nora says he’s under no legal obligation to deal with this. He wants to straighten it out, and says he’s been Charlotte’s legal guardian since her birth. Diane says she thinks she can establish grounds, and that in the eyes of the law, kidnapping is a broad term. When in reference to custody, it can mean one parent denying the other contact. Nora says Valentin has gone out of his way to facilitate contact. Diane says recently, but when did he know that Lulu was Charlotte’s biological mother?

Nelle asks if these are the letters, and says that they were all sent back unopened. Carly says that Frank wanted cash, not bonding. Nelle says he was trying to support his family, and she knew that, because the first time she wrote him back. She told him if he needs to make ends meet, don’t look to her. Why should she care about him or his little brat? Nelle says she cared about his little brat when she needed a kidney for hers.

Michael asks why Sonny didn’t tell him the truth. Sonny says he didn’t want to add to Carly’s pain or burden any of them. Michael is like, this was better, huh? He says that Sonny watched for months, and was protecting himself, leaving the door open for Nelle to trash his family.

Nelle insists that Carly wanted this. She didn’t ask any questions, and the second Josslyn was safe, she was done.

Jordan gets the deets about the attack on Julian. She wonders why Winston would do Olivia-J’s bidding. Julian says she has a bunch of thugs that she orders around, and no one is safe.

Griff/Duke tells Olivia-J that the authorities might reverse what she’s done, and she’ll lose him again. Anna says she wouldn’t do anything to threaten his chances. Olivia says that Anna wants her locked up so she can have him. She tells Griff/Duke not to fight her. He says he understands it’s the only way, but he should be the one to pull the trigger; then he can be totally free to start over with her. She says he’s right, and she doesn’t want to jeopardize them having a life together. She hands him the gun and he points it at her.

Jordan asks Felix for anything he remembers. She says no one comes in or out of the hospital; GH is under lockdown.

Valentin tells the court that when he found out about the embryo, he knew it was Lulu’s egg. Diane says he denied Lulu a relationship with her daughter, and he’s deliberately manipulated the situation. Nora objects to Diane manipulating the facts. The judge says she’s going to deliberate in chambers, but it will be quick. Lulu thinks she might get to take Charlotte home, but you know what they say about counting those Charlottes chickens.

Laura tells Nina that she obviously didn’t take their talk to heart, but Nina says she did, more than Laura knows. Laura hopes Nina will be able to live with the choice. So much for having faith in things turning out the way they’re supposed to. Nora tells Diane that her petition will be denied, but kudos for the argument. Diane says she doesn’t know what they do in Llanview, but in Port Charles, they go for the kill.

Griff/Duke tells Olivia-J that she needs help. Olivia says he told her that they belong together, and Anna says she belongs in an institution. She wants Duke alive more than anyone, but he’s never coming back. Olivia flashes back to her, Duke, and the rest of us being young. Olivia starts to cry, and Griff says he’s not his father. Olivia rushes him, and he ends up dropping the gun when he falls.

Jordan secures the building. Felix sees Winston going into a stairwell, and tells Jordan. Jordan radios in that she’s in pursuit of a suspect. No one is to move until they get her signal.

Anna drags Olivia-J off of Griff, who picks up the gun. Olivia says it’s not over. She knows something that they don’t.

Sonny accepts that his family hates him. Michael says he hates being disappointed, and Sonny is better than this. Sonny says he’ll do everything to prove he’s better. He says Michael has a gift of forgiveness; he has a way of letting go and moving on. He begs Michael not to do it with Nelle. She’s dangerous, a liar, and a user. He asks Michael to promise not to let her back in.

Carly tells Nelle that she believed Josslyn’s donor was Jake. She begged her best friend to make the sacrifice. She has no idea how Josslyn ended up with Nelle’s kidney, but she didn’t approach Frank. Nelle asks if she thinks it’s a coincidence. If she didn’t arrange it, who did? Carly says Frank did a number on Nelle, and it’s not her fault, but what she did to Carly’s family is her fault. If she’d told the truth, Carly would have helped, but she chose to sabotage Carly’s family, so keep packing. If she messes with them again, she’ll find out what payback really feels like. Carly leaves, and Nelle shoves the letters back in box. She looks at the keyring, and says she thinks it’s time to give this town another chance.

In the hallway, Carly tells someone on the phone that they need to talk now.

The hearing is back in session. The judge says that the unique circumstances of Charlotte’s conception puts the court in a unique position. Clearly both parties want what’s best for her, but it’s unclear who can provide the best situation. The court will arrange for Charlotte to meet with a psychologist to determine her wishes. Diane’s petition is denied. She tells Valentin if he pulls a stunt like that again, she’ll make the decision herself.

Valentin asks what Nora thinks, and she says it’s a good sign. She hopes neither one of them have skeletons in the closet. Diane thinks the meeting will show that Charlotte needs her mother.

Jordan is back in the basement, and calls out that she’s armed. She looks at the fingerprints again, and opens the door. Before she can enter, she gets whacked in the back of the head with a pipe.

Anna tells Olivia-J that it’s over. Olivia says that if she gets taken away, Anna won’t know what she did to Robin. I have to admit, in all this craziness, I forgot all about Robin.

Tomorrow, Olivia-J tells Anna that history is coming back to haunt her, Finn makes a deal with Brad, Nelle tells Josslyn that they’re no longer friends, and Carly questions Michael about his feelings for Nelle.

🌟 Much to my delight, Star has been renewed for a second season. Queen Latifah’s hair alone gives me life, and I’m loving seeing Naomi Campbell as a grown-up actress. They never cease to come up with interesting guest stars either, tonight’s offering being Paris Jackson as a photographer, and Big Boy as himself, hoping to sign the girls. Because of the latter, the girls set up their manager, Jahil (Benjamin Bratt), because they want out of their contract. In an excellent scene, Cotton (Amiyah Scott) put on male drag so that she could cash some stolen checks. Brava and bravo! Lead singer Star’s boyfriend, who did not want her to go on tour, hit her again, and I’m hoping that she calls it quits this time. The characters all seem real, so it was an easy show to invest in. Next week is the season finale, where we’ll see if the girls win the contest they’ve been working toward. If they don’t, I might be as disappointed as they’ll be. I’m also hoping a tour doesn’t mean we don’t see the home town characters as much.

😢 Worth mentioning. Sadly, Teresa Giudice’s, mother passed away last week. (At the age of 66 – this is getting scary!) What makes it even more poignant is Teresa having to go it alone, without husband Joe, who is serving time. I know, I know, but I’ve watched them for so long, they seem like cousins that I might not like very much, but they’re family, so I invite them to Thanksgiving.

🍑 Southern Charm: How They Got Here was what I suspected. Here, is where we left off, with yet another argument at a big party, and it was basically clips from the previous seasons. The Bravo milk-train rolls on…

November 13, 2016 – The World Behind the Mirror is Revealed, the NJ Reunion Drags On & Negan Shakes Down Alexandria


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Snow talks to David while he sleeps. She says maybe this is their normal now. Regina blames herself. She says she’s the only one who can hurt the queen, but Emma doesn’t want her to engage. Emma says her own sentence is already death, and Henry needs one of them to be there.

Snow is about to kiss David, and makes a face like she smells something weird. She looks at the mirror and then throws something at it. The Evil Queen is watching them.

A split screen shows us how Snow and David are living now. They leave notes for each other and videos on the phone. He leaves her flowers all the time. I’m thinking this is a great way to avoid any marital conflict, and wondering how I can arrange this for myself.

Emma visits Regina and asks if she has anything. She says she got an idea when Snow broke the mirror. They might not be able to hurt the queen, but they can imprison her in the world behind the mirror. Henry volunteers to be bait.

Henry meets the Evil Queen on the beach. She tells him that she knows he’s upset about his parents, but someday he’ll understand that you have to make hard choices. She talks about when they used to come there and feed the seagulls. She says he was afraid of them, and he tells her that he’s not afraid of anything now, especially her. He disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. Regina and Emma show up with a mirror, but the Evil Queen tells them that it’s the wrong one because she switched them. She flips the tables (or mirror, as it were) on them, and they end up in the world behind the mirror. The Evil Queen says she hopes they enjoy where they’re going, because it’s where they’re spending the rest of their lives.

Emma wakes up and sees Storybrooke in a mirror. She’s in a room with mirrors everywhere, and calls out for Regina. The camera pans out and it’s a stone room within a forest of mirrors. Emma sees Granny in one of them, and tries to get her attention. Regina appears and tells her they’re all one-way mirrors. They have no way to communicate. She says it was the perfect prison for the Evil Queen since she has no friends anyway. Emma says people might not be able to break out, but maybe someone can break in. They think Henry is their answer.

The Evil Queen as Regina tells Henry that it worked and she’s finally free. Hook asks about Emma, and the queen tells him that Emma is driving to NYC to find the Dragon. She directs Hook to a fake voicemail. Snow says they finally got rid of the monster, but the queen says maybe not so much of a monster. She says they have someone else to worry about – Henry has to get ready for a dance. She says she’ll make sure everything works out for him.

Belle tells Zelena that Gold has closed his shop. She says he’s after her baby and she needs Zelena to help stop him; they’re both mothers and know what it’s like to care about someone who lets them down. Belle says she’s seen Zelena make portals before. Zelena says Gold has the wand she needs under lock and key, but Belle says she knows who can get it.

They meet with Jasmine and Aladdin, who claims to be the best thief anywhere. Jasmine doesn’t want him to get involved, but Zelena says it’s their fault that Gold is in possession of the shears in the first place. Belle says if Aladdin is any kind of a hero, he’ll help her escape the beast.

The Evil Queen visits Gold. She tries to come on to him, but he’s like, not today, he’s working. She says she needs the Hammer of Festus, which makes me think of Festivus for the rest of us. He says the hammer’s magic is only useful to someone who doesn’t have any. She says she wants it for Henry. Gold says villains don’t get happy endings, but the queen says she’s looking for a beginning. He asks what she has to offer him in return. She says now they’re on the same team, aren’t they? He tells her to remember her mother’s lesson – love is weakness. She says it can be, but it can also be a weapon, and she’s going to use it on her son.

Hook keeps leaving messages for Emma. He says he knows phones work in NYC and something doesn’t feel right. He sees the glass from the mirror on the beach. The Evil Queen appears and he asks what she’s done with Emma and Regina, but she says she’s not answering his question and blows him back with some magic.

Emma and Regina are getting nowhere, and Regina says they have to zero in on something. Emma suggests Granny’s, where Henry is meeting Violet before the dance. They see Henry adjust his tie, and they bang on the mirror. The Evil Queen as Regina calls to him. Emma says he has no idea they’re even gone. Henry tells the queen that he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Violet. The queen says Violet is a nice girl, but still a commoner and she’s lucky to have him. She says they might go back to her castle one day, and he’ll be king. Henry says he thinks he should finish high school first, but she says it’s not always about actually sitting on a throne, it’s about how you carry yourself. She tells him girls notice these things and to go off and be kingly. He leaves and the Evil Queen looks into the mirror and smiles.

Henry meets Violet. She asks if the homecoming dance is like a ball. He tells her something more important is happening, and to keep looking at him. He says that the woman behind him isn’t Regina, it’s the Evil Queen. He tells Violet to think of a reason to leave. She says she isn’t crazy about her dress, and wants to show him another one in the shop window. He tells her she’s a great liar. She says thanks, and they leave.

Emma and Regina are upset about Henry. Suddenly, Emma thinks someone else is with them. Regina says she doesn’t think so, but the Dragon comes out. He was imprisoned by the Evil Queen. He says everything is off balance, the dark and the light, a lesson sometimes learned at great cost. Emma says they’re worried abbot their son, and he says he once lost a daughter and paid the price.

Aladdin sneaks around Gold’s shop. Gold is doing some spinning (on a spinning wheel, not a bike). He hears something, but it’s just a windup toy. Aladdin finds the wand.

The Dragon takes Emma and Regina to another room in the mirror forest. Emma says she was looking for him. He says unfortunately, breaking their curse is beyond his ability. He tells them that Sidney was working on a way out, and points to a broken mirror. He thinks together they can mend it. Regina fixes one of the cracks by touching it and starts messing with the glass pieces.

Henry talks to a mirror. He says if his moms are in there, say something. The Evil Queen overhears and says it’s not like leaving a voicemail. She tells him that a gentleman never ditches his date. He says that Violet is somewhere safe, and he realized his mom wasn’t his mom. She brings up how she once helped him be brave, and says he could be great, but not if he’s a wimp. He says she can’t Darth Vader him and he’ll never join her. She says she’s not really evil, despite the name. She’s not a hero either, but a leader, and they do what’s necessary. She brings out a heart.

The Dragon tells them Henry is safe. Emma and Regina realize it’s the Evil Queen speaking through him. She’s also in the mirror and tells them that she has the Dragon’s heart. The Dragon doubles over. He says he doesn’t want to do this, and red smokes envelops him. When the smoke clears, he’s turned into a huge dragon.

The Evil Queen says to kill them, and the dragon Dragon goes crazy, flying all around and breathing fire. The queen gives Henry the hammer and says he can save them by smashing the Dragon’s heart. Henry says the Dragon is innocent, and it won’t make him hers. She says he’ll understand more of who she is though. He says if Regina dies so does she, and she says that’s how certain she is he’ll do it.

Emma and Regina hide behind some pillars. They discuss being mothers. Emma says neither one of them are sacrificing themselves, and Regina says they’ll do this together. She comes out and distracts the dragon. Henry says if the Evil Queen is his mom, not to make him do this. She says her own mother proved that sometimes all you need is a little push. The dragon comes after Emma and Regina. They cry out for help, but Henry smashes the mirror instead of the heart.

Good choice. The dragon breathes fire on the mirror, and Emma and Regina pop through. The Evil Queen says they made Henry soft, and accuses him of hiding behind them. He says he’s not hiding, and strong families make you stronger than you would be by yourself, but she’ll never understand because she’ll always be alone.

Hook grabs the queen from behind with his hook and tells Her Majesty to shove off. The Evil Queen tells Henry that she only wants what’s best for him, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Jasmine tells Aladdin she’s proud of him. Why do they both have British accents? Is Agribah lost in the UK? She says she was so focused on finding Agribah, she almost stopped him from helping Belle. Along with stealing the wand, he lifted a genie lamp, and gives it to her. She says the genie is gone, but he says he’s free now, but whoever’s inside might be able to help them find Agribah

Belle brings the wand to Zelena. Gold pops in right behind her. He says he can’t let Belle take their child away. He puts a spell on her and says no matter where she goes, he’ll find her. She calls him a beast, but he says it’s love. She says next time, she’ll run so far and so fast, he’ll never set eyes on his child. He says Rumpelstiltskin takes children, and she says tell your first son that.

Gold falls to the floor. Zelena says his heart only beats because of her, and if he hurts her, he hurts himself. He struggles up and says they’re far from done. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke. I guess a lot of the smoke budget was blown on the dragon Dragon, so they couldn’t afford another color.

Snow writes to David. She says she can’t do this anymore and she misses him. They switch places. David takes the crumpled paper from her hand and says he misses her too.

Violet goes to Granny’s. Henry apologizes for them missing the dance. She says they had their first date there, and it’s better than the dance. Henry says she’s seemed distant, but she says it’s not him; she’s having a hard time adjusting to school. She feels out of place like the kids in the John Hughes movie, and doesn’t know if shes a jock or a nerd. He says he should have started with Sixteen Candles, and tells her that she doesn’t need a label; she’s Violet. He asks her to dance

Emma tells Regina that Henry is going to be okay with or without her. Regina says the queen was wrong about him. She was so worried about how they’re going to raise him, she didn’t realize that they already had.

Gold looks at the sonogram picture. The Evil Queen tells him that children rebel; it’s their job, but it’s the parents job to make them strong. Gold asks how far she’s willing to go, and she says she’ll do anything. He suggests they might both get their happy ending and kisses her. She says they are on the same page this time, and he says for now. But there’s one more thing to take care of. He tells her that Zelena has become a bit of a problem, and he wants her dead.

Next time – in 2 weeks – Gold becomes a beast who goes too far, and Belle might lose her baby.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion Part Two

Teresa claims she had a gut feeling that Jacqueline set her up. Andy takes a break. Jacqueline says no wonder Teresa is so angry with her. In the dressing room, Chris tells Jacqueline that Teresa is crazy.

Chris and Joe #2 join the group. Andy says that was quite an accusation. Teresa says she doesn’t feel Jacqueline was responsible, but she dabbled in it. She went to “certain people” getting information, and started the ball rolling. Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what they think. Siggy says she’s been friends with Jacqueline for 2½ years, and Dolores says she doesn’t think that’s something Jacqueline would do. Chris says they have a mutual friend who called him about a possible Federal investigation, then Chris called another friend who had some ideas on how to circumvent things. He approached Joe #1 who told them to f-off, so he washed his hands of it. He asks when Teresa is going to take responsibility.

Jacqueline drags Melissa into it, saying that Melissa was giving her information. Melissa says she thought of her as a girlfriend who she told things to in confidence. She warns the others that Jacqueline will spill their secrets. Jacqueline tries to get Chris involved and Melissa points out that she doesn’t need to drag Joe #2 into her business. Chris says blah-blah-blah about how they used to be friends. He claims Jacqueline tried to get everyone to be friends when Teresa was on the outs with Melissa, but he told her one day she’d be the one on the outside.

Joe #2 thinks this is petty stuff, and that his family destroyed him. He says he was a mess for a while. and we flash back to some choice moments like the christening party. Chris talks about how he met Jacqueline, and somehow the subject of Jacqueline being a stripper pops up again, but doesn’t linger. Chris insists that Jacqueline never meant any ill will toward anybody.

Andy lightens the mood by saying sometimes he thinks he needs a Jersey translator, and shows some clips of “Jerseyisms,” which are more like Teresaisms. Like when Teresa confused an enema with edamame. Dolores confuses things further by telling her that it’s really a colonic. Teresa blames everything on having had braces on the back of her teeth. Jacqueline admits to it being an endearing quality.

Andy talks about Italian families and how it’s sometimes like being at war. He touches briefly on the rift between Teresa and her brother, but moves quickly on to Teresa coming home and how even prison didn’t bring her down. We see clips of the family, and of Joe leaving. Andy says he was surprised to hear that Teresa might have to sell the house. She says she thought it might be good to downsize, but the kids don’t want to leave, so she’s working hard to keep them there. Andy asks what she learned in prison. She talks about the wonderful women she met there, how they’re not bad people, and actually uses the word prison. She says it really wasn’t exactly a camp, and a lot of it was disgusting. She says she took responsibility, but she really just signed a paper. Andy asks if she blames Joe #1, but she says he took full responsibility, telling the court she had nothing to do with it, but since she’s a celebrity, it went the way it did. We see all the paparazzi screeching at her. Melissa says if Joe #1 could have done her time, he would have. I honestly believe that is the way it went. I think she had no clue what she was signing – why would she have read it, since she trusted her husband? And I think she was made an example of because she’s a reality star.

A viewer remarks that Teresa doesn’t seem to have remorse, and she’s like, what more do you want? They talk about Joe #1 now being inside, and how he almost has a six-pack now. Andy asks about Teresa’s insistence that Joe never cheated, and she says show her proof. They talk about Teresa’s going away party when she left the clink, and how Gia has a boyfriend now. Andy suggests she date Dolores’s Frankie, and Teresa says you never know.

Andy asks if Teresa thinks Joe will keep it together, and she says he is already. He asks about the possibility of Joe being deported. She says because it’s a legal matter, she can’t really discuss it and they’ll see what happens. He asks her why it’s something she doesn’t want to discuss, and she says there’s no need to give it life. Amen to that. Of course she doesn’t want to discuss it. Geez. That’s possibly the stupidest question Andy has ever asked anyone.

Chris is back, although I hadn’t realized he left. Andy asks why Teresa doesn’t want to deal with her cousins. Teresa says they’re toxic; they never called or wrote once, and Rosie really hadn’t been there for Joe. Jacqueline says that Teresa wouldn’t even sit on the same couch with them, and Teresa basically tells her to mind her own business. Siggy says Jacqueline just wanted to bring the family together, and Teresa says she doesn’t see it that way. Siggy says Teresa had different priorities than dealing with her cousins.

A viewer asks about Melissa and Kathy, but Melissa says they just drifted apart. Jacqueline tries to voice an opinion, but Melissa shuts it down, saying Jacqueline knows it’s true.

Next up, the nightmare in Vermont. We flash back to all that, and I want to smack Jacqueline’s stupid face all over again. Andy asks why Melissa invited Robyn and Kristina, and she says they were friends. Teresa talks about Jacqueline antagonizing Robyn, but Jacqueline says she was calling Robyn’s bluff. Chris says Jacqueline thought it was going to be a time of genuinely mending fences and was disappointed. Which I guess gave her leeway to scream at whoever she wanted to. Dolores thinks Melissa should have come to Jacqueline’s rescue, and Melissa says after Jacqueline barked at her like she was one of her kids, she didn’t answer Jacqueline fast enough. Andy asks Melissa if she had four nose jobs. Melissa barely starts to talk and Jacqueline jumps in with her two cents. Melissa says it’s her secret to tell, and wants to know why it’s Jacqueline’s business.

Jacqueline says blah-blah-blah, and claims Teresa went to jail for lying. Melissa calls Jacquleine a sh*tty friend. Teresa says she has a clown’s face, and that she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing with rabies. She calls Jacqueline disgusting, and Jacqueline acts like she doesn’t care, but Teresa says she does and that’s why she keeps coming back.

Andy asks Joe #2 why Jacqueline and Melissa had problems after Teresa came back. Joe says Jacqueline got weird, and Melissa says she acted paranoid and never believed that Teresa could change. Jacqueline questions whether or not Melissa and Teresa are really friends. Melissa says when Jacqueline lies, she turns the sound off. Chris claims that Teresa messed up their relationship with Joe #2 and Melissa. Melissa says there was a time they were friends, but Jacqueline ‘s mind messed with her and she started to question things. Then she called a magazine with stories about them, and that ended it.

We flash back on more of Jacqueline’s idiocy. Andy brings up the lunch that went south. He asks Jacqueline why she even went. Jacqueline says her intention was to talk to everyone one on one. Andy says that seems rational and logical, but that wasn’t how it came off. Jacqueline claims that Teresa and Melissa came in with an attitude. Dolores insists they were still angry about Vermont, but then stands corrected after they tell her that wasn’t the case and we see a clip.

Andy asks if Jacqueline’s approach had been different, would Teresa have accepted it. Teresa says she would have. Andy asks what about Melissa, and the lovely Jacqueline squeaks that he was going to talk to her. Melissa points out that Jacqueline was never a friend in the first place. Chris claims that Jacqueline feels too deeply for people, and when she’s hurt, she goes to extremes. Okay.

Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what it would take to heal the friendship. Dolores suggests a lobotomy and Siggy says you have to put gas in a relationship to keep it moving forward and this tank is out. We flash back to some better times. In an old interview, Chris says they have a strong bond, whether they admit it or not. Jacqueline says it’s hard, and Teresa says no matter what, she’ll always have a special place in her heart for Nicholas. Jacqueline says they’ve both said and done things that are terrible, but Teresa says she’s never done anything to intentionally hurt Jacqueline. They had great times, but something went sour. Dolores says once someone apologizes, you can’t go back and say you don’t trust them. I dunno about that.

Andy brings up Jacqueline being hit hard when Joe #1 went away. She says just because she’s angry doesn’t mean she doesn’t have compassion. She starts crying. Andy asks if Teresa felt warm toward Jacqueline when she saw that, and Teresa says she did at the time. Dolores insists that neither one of them would turn the other away if there was an acutal need.

Andy talks about them leaning on one another. He asks Jacqueline if she was surprised that everyone was so supportive about Nicholas, and they all start crying. Teresa and Melissa hold hands. Melissa says even as angry as she is, she doesn’t like to see anyone hurt. Siggy says they’re all the best moms ever. Everyone agrees. Siggy says she loves them all, but she’s never going to Vermont again. She asks if everyone would do a group hug for her. Andy wants to see one too. Jacqueline says everyone doesn’t have to be friends, and Teresa begs her not to talk to people who want to hurt her. Dolores thinks they should stop talking before it goes bad, and Andy says let’s move forward.

They all hug, including Andy.

Best quote of the reunion: If you need to remove the knives, then there should not be a lunch. —- Dolores

The Walking Dead

Michonne stares at Rick while he sleeps, but it’s not exactly a loving look. She gets out of bed and gets her sword. And kills Rick. Just kidding. She messes around in the fireplace and brings out a gun. She quietly puts it into her duffel bag and leaves. Rick sees her and who knows what he thinks.

Michonne walks across a field to an abandoned truck, and gets on top of it. She surveys the land and waits.

Rick tends to Judith. Eugene crunches numbers or whatever he does. Rosita asks him to open the gate. Spencer asks if Eugene wants to come, but he says no. Rosita says no surprise. Eugene says he’s getting a music player back together and doing his part.

The Whistling Man Negan pounds on the gate, telling the little pigs to let him in. Is he going to huff and puff? A guy opens the inner gate and asks who he is. Negan is like, are you joking? and then Rick joins them. He tells Rick don’t make him have to ask. Rick says they were told a week and he’s early. Rick opens the gate and Negan says he missed him.

Negan kills a zombie with Lucille and says “easy peasy lemon squeezie.” We already know he’s one of those funny guy villains. He’s brought Daryl along with him, and says he just took care of a dead prick that could have killed them all, instead of bashing someone’s head in. He hands Lucille to Rick and strolls into Alexandria.

Negan says things like hot diggity dog, and that Alexandria is an embarrassment of riches. He tells Rick that they’ll have plenty to offer up. Rick tries to talk to Daryl, but Negan tells him no, and the same goes for everyone. Negan is so ridiculously satisfied with himself, he’s almost not scary. He tells Rick they’ll decide what they take and his workers move out into the town. Negan says they’re going to search the houses a bit and keep the process moving. He asks if Rick is going to show him around.

Rosita starts to go back to the car. Dwight asks where she’s going, and then says he doesn’t care. He takes the weapons from the car. He tells Rosita he has a job for her. Get Daryl’s bike. She says it’s not there and he says she knows where it is. She starts to leave and he takes her cap, telling her she can go now. She and Spencer get back in the car. Dwight dumps out her water and says don’t take too long.

Michonne is still at her post on the truck. She aims her gun at a zombie. She shoots and misses. She shoots again and misses. She practically unloads the gun. Either she’s a really bad shot or the site is off. She splits the zombie’s head open with her sword. I’m sure that’s more satisfying anyway. She walks through the woods and sees a dead deer. I’d eat the whole thing right there before I’d bring it back for Negan to steal.

Some of Negan’s people bring out a ratty chair. Negan is pleased, and says they’re reasonable people once you get to know them. Daryl follows him around silently. One of the guy’s wants to show Negan something. It’s Rick in the old video that Deanna took. He looks all Jeremiah Johnson, and Negan says he wouldn’t have wanted to mess with that guy, but it’s not Rick anymore. He asks what happened to the sick girl, referring to Maggie, and asks if she was married to number two. He tells Rick to be careful with how he looks at him, and goes on about good looking widows. He says he’d love to see her. Father Gabriel asks if he wants to pay his respects, and Negan says he’s freaky as sh*t, sneaking up on him like that. Negan assumes Maggie didn’t make it. He says it didn’t need to happen, but Daryl forced his hand. He was going to ask her to come back with him.

While Negan is prattling on, there’s a shot from somewhere. It’s Carl telling the guys to put stuff back. Rick tells him to put the gun down. Carl says they’re taking all the medicine. He tells Negan that he should go before he finds out how dangerous they really are. Negan asks if Carl just threatened him. Rick says to put the gun down, but Negan tells him they’re having a conversation. Negan tells Carl he likes him and doesn’t want to go hard proving a point. He says half and half is what it is. He asks if Carl wants him to prove how serious he is…again. Carl gives Rick the gun and Rick gives it to Negan.

Negan is reminded how many guns they have. He says this emotional outburst has made it clear he can’t allow that, and they’re all his now. He asks Rick where his guns are.

Negan shakes down Olivia at the armory. She says she keeps track of everything like the rations and the guns. Negan says they have slim pickin’s as far as food goes, and they’re no good to him if they starve, so for now they can keep their food. He says is a thank you too much to ask? but Rick says nothing. Negan says he knows they started off on the wrong foot, but Rick forced his hand. He says he’s reasonable if people cooperate, and asks if Rick is cooperating. He wants to know if there are any guns waiting for their moment. Rick says the guns are all in the armory to the best of his knowledge, and Negan says he’s counting on that.

Rosita and Spencer go out to the forest. Spencer looks under a pile of branches and says it’s still there. It’s Daryl’s bike. He says he knows it sucks, but this is their life now, this is where Rick got them. He says maybe if Rick had thought it through, it would be different. People might still be with them. I’m not a huge Rick fan, but he’s being just a little harsh. Rosita trots into the woods.

Negan tells Rick he thinks their attangement is going to work just fine. He wonders if Rick has been taking care of his guns. He aims one at Daryl, who doesn’t react, but shoots out a window. Some guy brings out a bazooka. Negan says he’s going to have fun with it. A woman tells Negan they’re short two guns. Rick says they had some people leave and maybe the guns are with them. Negan asks if Olivia sucks at her job, but she says the inventory is correct. He asks if she knows where the guns are and that he’s disappointed. It shows that someone isn’t on board and he can’t have that. He says he doesn’t enjoy killing women, but it was Olivia’s responsibiltiy. He badgers her and she starts to cry.

Rick’s people gather at the church and he tells everyone he thought of hiding some of the guns, but what if the Saviors found them or they had the guns on them when they ran into one of them? It doesn’t matter how many bullets they have, it isn’t enough. He says hiding guns isn’t the answer anymore. He asks who has the two they’re looking for or who knows where they are? He says if they don’t find them, Negan will kill Olivia. A guy asks why they care and Rick asks if he has them, but he doesn’t. He says most of them weren’t there; they didn’t have to watch. If they give Negan what he wants, they live in peace. Another guy gets up and asks how they’re getting out of this. Rick says there is no way out of this. He’s not in charge anymore. Negan is. He asks again who has the guns. Eugene says not everyone is there.

Rosita slinks trough the forest following some zombies. Spencer calls for her. She hides behind a tree and takes the zombies out with a knife. I don’t know if there’s a purpose or she’s just getting out her aggression. She impales one’s head on the end of a log. Ooh. She took a gun off of him. But it’s empty. Rosita tells Spencer that Negan is going to take all their guns and asks if he’s going to tell. She says this is not their life and he walks away.

Rick watches Negan sitting with Olivia. He starts tearing the place apart. Gabriel comes in and says he feels like it’s going to work out. They’ll find the guns, get through today, and find a way to beat this. He has faith in Rick. He says things change; they weren’t always friends. He asks if Michonne has them, but Rick says she doesn’t have what they’re looking for. He thanks Gabriel for his quick thinking about Maggie.

Aaron tells Rick there’s nothing so far. They all split up to look elsewhere. Rick opens a floor grate and finds a lot of stuff, like bouncy ball, a can of beans, and whiskey. He pulls out a sack that has two guns in it. He brings them outside. Some guy is bothering Enid about keeping some balloons, making her say please a bunch of times. A-hole.

Rick gives Negan the guns. Negan says funny how a little thing like holy sh*t someone is going to die, lights a fire under everyone. He asks where Rick found them. I’d tell him it was Maggie’s house. Might as well make her the scapegoat since she’s supposed to be dead anyway.

Negan’s people start to pull out. Negan tells Rick he’s got a helluva place. Negan sees Michonne out of the corner of his eye. Rick asks for a second. Negan says no at first, and then smiles. Rick goes in, and Michonne sees him holding Lucille. Rick says he needs the rifle. He says he knows it’s in the bag and that she was out practicing. He says they have to give up their guns. If Negan finds them, someone dies, and he’s not losing anyone else. He asks if she’ll let him give the guns to Negan.

Michonne comes out with the deer like she was hunting. Rick gives Negan the gun. Negan says this is something to build a relationship on. He tells Rick that he’s special. Rick asks if Daryl can stay. Negan says, not happening, but amends that to maybe Daryl can plead his case and sway him.

Daryl says nothing. Negan says Rick tried. Now he has to get over that tall wall and earn for him. They’ll be back soon and Rick had better have something interesting for them, or Lucille will have her way. Someone will die, and no more magic guns. Michonne throws down the deer, and Negan says he loves a gal who buys him dinner and doesn’t expect him to put out.

Dwight takes Daryl’s bike and throws Rosita’s hat back to her. He asks if they found anything else, and she says just his dead friend. He rides off on Daryl’s bike. He tells Daryl to just say the word and he can have it back, but Daryl remains silent.

Negan tells Rick that nobody died. He thinks he and Rick can find their understanding. He asks if Rick wants him to go, and Rick says that would be good. He tells Rick to say the two magical words, and Rick says thank you. Negan is like, no, thank you, because he’s cuckoo.

Another zombie comes by and Negan says they need his help. He tells Rick they’re going to both come out winners and to watch his form. Rick tightens his grip on Lucille. Negan kills the zombie with a candlestick. (It was Negan in Alexandria with the candlestick.) Negan says win win, and to clean the candlestick up for next time.

Negan stats to leave, and says how careless of him, going back for his bat. He wonders why Rick would want Lucille after what she did, and thanks him for him being accommodating. He tells Rick that he just shoved his d*ck down Rick’s throat and Rick thanked him for it. Finally, they leave. Daryl looks at Rick from the back of the truck.

Rick tells Spencer that they were going to kill Olivia over two guns that were missing, and he found them in Spencer’s house. He doesn’t fault him for having the guns, but the food and liquor? He calls Spencer weak, saying they got lucky this time, and Spencer says they should have made a deal when they could. He asks if Glenn and Abe were lucky too. Rick tells him that if he says something like that again, he’ll knock Spencer’s teeth down his throat.

Rosita confronts Spencer about the guns. He says he had them for a while because he didn’t trust Rick. He says he was worried about Rick being in charge, and she said it already, that this doesn’t have to be their life. He drives away, and she takes a gun out of the wheel well of another car.

Rick fixes up a bed on the floor since the mattresses were all taken. Michonne says the rifle belonged to the Saviors and wasn’t on the list. He asks if she has more, and she says no. She says everything they have, they got from fighting for it. Rick says he made a choice and Negan has the numbers. She says what about Hilltop, but he tells her they still outnumber them. He says if they play by the rules, they’ll have some kind of life. Michonne says what kind?

Rick talks about Shane and how he took care of Carl when Rick was out of commission in the beginning. He says Shane hooked up with Rick’s wife because they thought he was dead. He says he loves Judith, but she isn’t his. He had to accept that to keep her alive. He hopes he can raise her and protect her and teach her to survive. He says he had to accept how they live now to keep everyone else alive. He tells Michonne that she has to accept this – they all do – or it wont’ work. Michonne says she’ll try.

Michonne goes back to the abandoned truck. She hears something and looks in the distance. She gets down and walks across the field. She sees a smoldering pile of gravestones and starts hyperventilating.

Rosita picks up a shell casing. She takes it to Eugene and asks him to make her a bullet.

Next time, Maggie is at Hilltop and at risk, Carl is done, and Jesus is back (no, not that Jesus).


October 16, 2016 – Once’s Jekyll & Hyde Finish Their Story & NJ’s Joe #1 Starts His Sentence


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

I gotta say, Hyde and the Evil Queen make a handsome couple.

Gold fiddles with some kind of magnifying mirror and comes out with a haircut. The Evil Queen is waiting and she’s impressed at how well he’s cleaned up. Hyde has come with her and says Gold can change the outside, but what’s inside is still there. Gold tells Hyde to get lost, but Hyde wants a cameo necklace that’s in Gold’s shop. Hyde isn’t offering anything in return, and Gold strangles him without touching him, but he and the Queen just laugh, the Evil Queen telling him that he can’t kill Hyde. Gold let’s go and Hyde sees the necklace. He says it has meaning to him. He’s going to take it and Gold is going to let him. He says the stories are going to play themselves out, whether Gold likes it or not, and it’s likely not. Gold tells the Evil Queen that she promised not to touch Belle. She says yes, she has a deal with him, but Hyde says he doesn’t.

David cooks a massive breakfast for Emma. He says once Hook moves in with her, they won’t see her as much, but she says she’ll still come for breakfast. Regina comes by with Jekyll. She says Hyde has escaped and when Jekyll woke up, he found a cameo that belonged to someone he cared deeply about.

Back in the day, Jekyll’s friend, Mary, adjusts his tie. She tells him her father is going to be impressed with his research. Jekyll tells her that he’s working on a serum that can separate a man’s personality in two, separating his good nature from the beast inside, so he can be in control. He wants Mary’s father to grant him membership to the science academy, but when her father drops by, he says Jekyll’s work is too dangerous. He and Mary leave and Jekyll smashes stuff.

Rumpelstiltskin pops in and says he’s there to help Jekyll. He has a vested interest in his work. He says that what Jekyll sees as strength might actually be weakness. Jekyll says something about particles that he can’t get to do whatever, and Rumpel tosses some magic around, fixing it. He asks Jekyll how far he’ll go to get what he wants. Jekyll swallows the serum.

Hook gives Belle a conch shell. He tells her it’s mermaid magic. If she needs help, she’s to call into it and he’ll hear her. Gold pops in and says he’s there to protect them both. Belle says they only need protection from him. He tells them that Hyde is on the warpath, but Belle doesn’t understand why he’s interested in them, and wants Gold to go away. Gold says he’ll go, but casts a protection spell on the boat. Belle can’t leave because of it and gets pretty annoyed.

Snow brings Henry to school. Jasmine is wandering the halls, lost. She introduces herself as Shireen, and Snow realizes that she’s her class assistant. Jasmine tells her that she’s from the group of Untold Story people. Snow talks about how she decided to become a teacher again.

Jekyll is at an impasse with the serum. Emma asks Regina if she’ll talk to Hyde. She and David are going to hunt down Hyde and the Evil Queen. Jekyll asks Grumpy to bring back a sandwich which makes Grumpy grumpier, since he’s not an errand boy.

In the past, Hyde looks at himself, not recognizing his reflection. Rumpel tells him he’s parts of a man and comes up with the name Hyde. Hyde goes to a ball at Mary’s house and introduces himself to her father, saying that he’s a friend of Jekyll’s. Mary says Jekyll has never mentioned him and Hyde says Jekyll has definitely mentioned her. Mary’s father speaks to Hyde alone, telling him if he’s there to plead Jekyll’s case, he’s not letting him into the academy. Hyde tells him that he and Jekyll heard all about his new lab assistant, and alludes that she’s more than an assistant.

Grumpy brings Jekyll’s sandwich back. He wants to go back to his real job of being the wall between chaos and calm. Regina comes in and knocks Grumpy out with some magic. Hyde is with her and says they were led to him by the cameo, which has a beckoning spell on it. He tells Jekyll that they’re going to see what the monster he made can really do.

Snow is teaching Newton’s third law of motion, that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. She asks for volunteers to solve the equation on the board, but there are no takers. This seems real.

Regina goes to Gold’s shop He says he’s seen the Evil Queen, but wasn’t interested in what she had to offer. Regina tells him that Jekyll has a serum that can stop Hyde, but they need his help.

In the old days, Jekyll wakes up with a headache, and Rumpel shows him his invite into the academy. Rumpel tells him he has to snag Mary before another suitor does, and tells him to let Hyde do the talking. Jekyll asks what he wants, and Rumpel says he needs the serum. He wants to make sure it works though and tells him to let Mr Hyde out to play.

Regina and Gold go to Jekyll’s lab. Everything is destroyed. Jekyll tells Regina that Gold doesn’t care about their cause, and Gold says Hyde is Jekyll, except smarter and stronger. Jekyll produces a vial of the serum, which he’d hidden. Regina takes it. Gold reaches for it, but she tells him to work his magic from a distance. Suddenly, he grabs Jekyll’s heart. Gold tells Regina that he did make a deal with the Evil Queen because of Belle. He takes out the magic dagger and pours the serum on the blade. He says Regina can no more fight the darkness than he can, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of red smoke. Well, actually it’s sort of magenta.

Snow goes through her student’s papers and says the students don’t remember anything she taught them. Jasmine says she was gone a while. She tells Snow that once her kingdom needed a princess and perished for lack of one. She says that for the students to reach their potential, she needs to embrace who she is, Snow White.

Jekyll visits the Jolly Roger. He tells Hook and Belle that Gold took the serum and has a deal with the Evil Queen. Hook leaves to help. Belle tells Jekyll that she’s sorry about Gold. He says nothing can bring back Mary, the girl he loved until Hyde destroyed the love.

Way back when, Hyde sees Mary walking in the woods at night, which strikes me as really odd. Mary says he left her curious, and asks if he’s known Jekyll long. He says their entire lives, and he’s here on Jekyll’s behalf. Jekyll has feelings for her. She says she likes him, but can’t be with him that way – she needs someone with passion and who can give in to desire. She thinks he understands. She says she saw the way other people looked at him; they were afraid, but she saw a man unencumbered by fear and social obligation. She asks how he does that, and he says he doesn’t know, maybe he was just made that way. They kiss. A few times. A lot.

In the same woods in the present, Emma asks David if he’s okay with her and Hook. He says at first he was against it, but if she’s happy, he’s happy. Hyde approaches them and Emma zaps him, but he ducks. He flattens David and runs. Gold enters the picture and stabs him with the dagger. He asks if this is how Hyde imagined his story playing out. Hyde says yes, and pulls the dagger out. He also pulls out the vial of serum. Gold realizes that Hyde switched the vials. Hyde wants to show Gold the end of his story and watch him suffer. He holds up the dagger and tells Gold he wants to go to Belle. They both disappear, poof! in a two-person capacity cloud of magenta smoke.

Snow takes the kids outside. She nails their assignments to a tree. She tells them that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. She shoots an arrow into the papers to demonstrate. She asks if they’d like to try.

Hyde and Gold go to the Jolly Roger. Gold says Hyde won’t have the vial forever, but Hyde says he’s not harming Belle, and he isn’t the monster Gold needs to worry about.

In old Storybrooke, Jekyll wakes up next to Mary. She asks how he got there and where’s Hyde? He says he sent Hyde to talk to her and she brought him here? She says it’s none of his business and where is he? Jekyll says he is Hyde. She’s like forget it, you’re crazy. He tries to convince her and they struggle, and she falls out the window to her death. He quickly drinks the serum. Way to go. Now Hyde will be in trouble, not him. The people below see Hyde in the window. Mary’s father and another guy enter the room and Hyde runs.

Belle tells Jekyll that she’s sorry about what Hyde did to Mary. He says if she’d been strong enough to resist Hyde, she’d have been his. Belle pretends to get sugar for the tea and picks up the shell. Jekyll grabs her hand, she drops it, and it breaks. She stabs him with a piece of it and he chases her up to the deck. She calls to Gold to lift the spell, but he can’t. Hyde says here comes the real villain.

Jekyll comes up and says it’s he chance he needed to make the Dark One pay. Gold says Belle has nothing to do with this, and Hyde says neither did Mary. Hook appears and struggles with Jekyll, who meets his end by getting impailed on a fishhook. Hyde says the story isn’t over yet, and starts to command Gold to do something, but keels over. He and Jekyll die in tandem. Gold says there was one final twist.

Regina says now they know the serum works Gold says Hyde destroyed it The only way to destroy one’s doppleganger is to kill the original Regina says the way to take out the Evil Queen….and Gold finsihes is to kill her.

Emma sees Regina on the dock and asks if she’s okay. She says to get rid of the Evil Queen, she has to die. They thought Hyde was the evil one, but the capacity for evil was the same in Jekyll. She says Emma trusted her to keep her family safe in Camelot, and she needs to trust her if it comes to this.

Gold approaches Belle. He says he wanted to make a fresh start, but she doesn’t want to hear it. She says he destroyed two lives instead of one, and what could be worth all this destruction?

In olden times, Hyde packs his bags, and Rumpel says things just started to get interesting. He says the news is everywhere. Hyde says he didn’t kill Mary; it was Jekyll. Rumpel asks how he could be so weak, and says it’s all a failure; his experiment has been a waste. Rumpel tells Hyde that he should kill him now, but instead he’ll have to share a life with the weakness inside him. Hyde asks why he did this. and Rumpel says his reasons are just that, his.

Belle asks Gold why he did this. He says it was all about her. He sought Jekyll out when Belle became the maid in his castle. He thought his feelings for her would make him weak.. but the experiment was a failure. He took the necklace and sent Jekyll to the Land of Untold Stories. Belle asks what would have happened if Hook hadn’t come along? She tells Gold that it costs to much to be with him. She says he cut his hair for him, not her, because he’s tired of looking at the man in the mirror. I know that song is now playing in your head too. Belle says she’ll always see him for who he really is. Ouch.

Gold says she doesn’t think she needs him, but she will. The child she’s carrying is his, and if she wants what’s best for him, she’ll come back. He says necessity will convince her.

Snow has something for Jasmine. She gives her an apple, telling her it’s a teacher tradition. It’s a Snow White tradition too, so I’d be careful. She asks if the princess from Jasmine’s kingdom ever fixed things. Jasmine says she came from the Land of Untold Stories, but she doen’s think so. Snow says ir still could happen.

Jasmine walks thorugh the woods and meets the Oracle. Jasmine says they have no idea who she really is and asks the Oracle if there’s evidence he’s there. She says she didn’t come all this way not to find Aladdin. The Oracle promises they’ll find him.

Next time, answers for Emma lie within Aladdin’s story.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

I still say Dolores should keep her nose to herself regarding whether Chris goes to Joe #1‘s going away party. Who would take advice from her anyway? Unless it’s about how to leech off of your ex-husband.

Teresa and Joe #1 take the girls to a cupcake making class. Joe demonstrates how to ice them, since it’s similar to stucco work. Teresa is trying to make memories for him to think back on after he’s gone. Milania gives Joe a cupcake for his next birthday, since they won’t be together. That’s really touching and sweet. In her interview, Teresa says she’s doing everything in her power to make sure he girls aren’t scarred for life. The other girls give Joe cupcakes, and Milania sings happy birthday, smushing a cupcake in his face. He smushes her back and they take selfies. Joe talks to Gia about looking out for the others when he’s in the clink, and not dating anyone. Ever. He says he’ll be home before they can blink. They have a group hug.

Jacqueline goes baby shopping with Ashlee. Ashlee is consulting a mid-wife, and Jacqueline thinks she’s nuts for wanting a natural birth. Jacqueline says her phone is blowing up. Ashlee says she got a text from Melissa. Jacqueline wishes she hadn’t reacted to Teresa the way she did. Ashlee says Teresa has a lot going on, and Jacqueline says they made choices that had consequences. She tells Ashlee that  it’s not easy to be a mom. We flash back to turbulent times with Ashlee. Jacqueline gets weepy in her interview.

Siggy gathers the family together, including her parents. Siggy says she feels like she and the kids are drifting. After the trip to Vermont, she wants to communicate better. In her interview, she talks about moving to Israel in high school and how she ended up coming back to America and living with friends of the family. She doesn’t want her kids to run from her and be separated like she was from her parents.

Her mother says she knows Siggy is busy with her job and kids, but when they come to visit, she doesn’t even give them ten minutes. Siggy apologizes. Josh thinks it’s interesting that Siggy yells at him for the same things her own mother is upset about.

Melissa and Joe #2 get ready to go to Joe #1‘s party. Joe points out that while Teresa is having a bad week, Jacqueline is having a good one with a new baby coming. He wonders what’s going on in Joe #1‘ head. He says it’s almost like a funeral, and wonders what to say. Melissa says you can’t make this sh*t up, which is why we watch reality TV. In the car, Joe tells the kids not to go crazy, and to stay inside the restaurant.

Jacqueline and Chris go bowling with Richie and Kathy. Rosie and her girlfriend, Laura, join them. Even the worst of them is better than I am. Chris talks about Joe #1‘s party and how Dolores discouraged him from going. He says if anyone said something stupid about Jacqueline, there would be a problem, so he just sent a text. Hmm…I guess I can see his point. Why set yourself up for a fight?

Joe #2 asks Melissa if Jacqueline is coming to her fashion show, but she doesn’t know. She talks about not being invited to the popcorn event. Melissa says if Jacqueline wants to be an a-hole, it’s not important; getting through the next few days is important.

Chris asks Rosie if she said good-by to Joe #1. She says no, and he brings up how Joe gave her the cold shoulder at Teresa’s book signing. Rosie says she’s more focused on her new relationship. Chris says watching her bowl, he can tell she’s no good with balls. BA-DUM-CHH!

In her interview, Teresa says she was afraid the party wouldn’t be happy, but once she got there, it was actually fun being with friends and family. There’s a mechanical bull. Joe and Teresa get on together and fall off pretty quickly. Siggy says they’ll get through it. In her interview, she says you’d have to be an empty shell of a person not to be affected by a father leaving his four daughters, whether you think he deserves it or not. Joe says everyone is trying to make him cry. After years of watching these people, I feel like the Giudices are like those annoying cousins you have to invite to Thanksgiving. You love them, but would rather love them from a distance. I think they got made examples of because they’re so-called celebrities, and did something a lot of people skate for. As ridiculous as I find them, it does make me sad that the family is being separated. They really seem to care about one another and the girls are pretty good kids.

Dolores meets Siggy for lunch. She wants to have everyone over to see her new kitchen. Siggy tells her about having the family over. She calls it an intervention. She says she realized that she didn’t see her family for eight years. She talks about how her mother said she’s not spending enough time with her, and how Josh called her on it. She’s thinking of taking a family trip to the Holocaust Museum. In her interview, she says the kids know the names of every popular song and sports stats, but not their history. Siggy says all the unnecessary fighting among the women is sad.

Melissa talks with Derek about social media. She tells him to post more outfits on Instagram. She wants eight to ten posts a day, and their Instagram has to jive with their site. She says a customer should be able to buy everything that’s posted on Instagram immediately. She tells him that every day they lose money, and she wants to make back what they’ve pumped into it. Derek says they’ll get it done. Yeah, after he talks to Radar Online.

Siggy takes the kids to the Holocaust Museum. Her sister, Iris, meets them, along with her parents and Iris’s daughter. Siggy’s father, Malachi, talks about their family fleeing to France and how the French surrendered, so they were stuck there. In her interview, Siggy hopes her kids have a better appreciation for their good lives. Malachi talks about going to Switzerland, but when the war was over, they got kicked out and went back to Belgium. He says he was lucky he didn’t end up on a train or in a camp. Josh says he feels like a nurtured Jappy kid. Malachi says it’s important for him to be able to remember them being close together, because one day they won’t be here. They have a group hug and sing Hava Nageela.

Teresa and Joe #1 sit outside. She wonders if their German Shepherd knows he’s leaving, since he’s been nuzzling Joe, and Joe thinks he does. She doesn’t know how it’s going to hit her. She says in 16 years she was never away from him and he says she just was. Ha-ha! She means being there without him. She says she’ll know how he felt, but thinks it’s going to be harder. They grew up together and we flash back to some old good times from home movies. She tells him how much she’s going to miss him. He just wants to get it over with. He says they made mistakes and they’re paying their debt, and as long as you mind your business and be humble you’ll be fine in jail. He tells Teresa you can either become a criminal or a better person, and he’s opting for the latter. She says she’ll give him rosary beads and suggests he celebrate with the other religions on their holidays. She puts a strawberry in her mouth and passes it to Joe in a kiss. He says they’ll get through this, which seems to be tonight’s running theme.

The paparazzi is everywhere. Joe #1 and Teresa come out, and she hugs him. This is making me sad. The girls are crying and Joe #2 doesn’t know what to say or do. He says it’s like you’re lost. Joe #1 says he’s not scared of too many things, but you can’t predict what’s going to happen, even in the next few minutes. Boy, does he have that one right. He says no one is mentally prepared for this, but it’s really happening. He’s going in

Siggy calls Teresa to let her know she’s there if Teresa needs anything. Teresa says it sucks right now, and probably will until she talks to him, but she’s going to take a nap before the girls get home. She’s emotionally exhausted. She thanks Siggy for reaching out.

Joe #2 is setting up a trampoline. Melissa asks the kids if they had fun riding the bull. She tells them how cute they were giving kisses to Uncle Joe. Melissa says she got a text from Teresa saying “love you,” and Joe asks if she feels better about the relationship. In her interview, Melissa says she couldn’t be happier that she’s the one Teresa is reaching out to. Joe talks about how even though you can fight with family members, you have to be there when they need you.

Dolores and Siggy visit Jacqueline. She’s doing the weirdest thing. She has these baby dolls and she’s smearing their diapers with chocolate. Are these party favors or something to practice with? Dolores asks about Joe #1 and how Jacqueline feels, since she’s been on an emotional roller coaster. Jacqueline says when she saw the pictures of them hugging, she lost it. Siggy says that even though there’s no relationship right now, Teresa and Jacqueline have a long history, and there will always be a bond. Jacqueline says she would be there for Teresa regardless. Siggy says it’s heartbreaking to watch the kids have to go through it a second time. She wonders if Teresa is coming to Dolores’s housewarming party, and Dolores says definitely. I still have no idea what’s up with the diapers.

Teresa talks to Joe #2 and Melissa on the phone. She talks about her father crying and how upsetting it was. Joe asks if she wants to get Chinese food and hang out tomorrow. She says it would be nice and that the girls will be sleeping with her tonight.

Sure enough, they all get in the bed, which is pretty big. Teresa asks if the girls want to say a prayer for daddy. Each of the girls takes a turn except for Gabriela. To be honest, I mix these kids up except for Gia, so I think that’s who opted out. Teresa adds a prayer and Milania tells her not to cry because she’ll cry. Audriana (I think) turns out the lights

Next time, Siggy’s housewarming happens, Melissa has a fashion show, and Dolores tells Jacqueline f-u. Wow.