What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Chase tells Laura that Doc is safe. They’re transporting him from Ferncliff right now. Laura doesn’t understand why she has to be there; she’s perfectly fine. Finn explains about the virus to her, and says once the virus is neutralized, it’s a simple procedure to restore Doc’s vision. She wants to see the commissioner, but Chase says, she was hit by a car and has internal injuries. She’s in ICU. Finn says, her condition is serious, and they’re doing everything they can.
Jordan stirs, and Curtis asks if she can hear him. She says she has to tell him something. He says she was in an accident, and she’s in the hospital. He’s grateful she’s awake. He tells her, rest. She says there was a set up for the killer, but he says they already know and know who it is. Ryan Chamberlain. All along it’s been Ryan Chamberlain.
Ava tells Ryan it’s more rustic than she expected, but he says there are amenities, and a charming footbridge where they can over to Canada. He wants to leave their options open. He’s arranged for them to be married at a charming (WOTD), picturesque chapel. After that, it’s five star all the way. He tells her explore the room; he’ll get the luggage and meet her inside.
Ryan opens the trunk, and takes out the suitcases. He tells Carly, isn’t that better? She can almost stretch out.
Jason goes to the reception desk at the hospital. He tells the nurse he found Carly’s phone in the garage, and asks if she was admitted, but she says no one by that name was checked in.
Julian puts up the closed sign at Charlie’s. Kim shows up, and he asks if something is wrong. She asks why something has to be wrong to see him. Maybe she’s there because something is right.
Trina asks what Cameron thought of the movie. He wishes Mary Poppins was real, and his mom would hire her. Trina says he’s a little old for a nanny, but he says his brothers aren’t. He makes the observation that Mary Poppins really fixes broken families. Trina asks if he thinks his family is broken. He says he feels that way since Franco moved in.
Oscar tells Josslyn it takes forty guys to close the valves at the same time when the falls shut off at night. She’s like, what? and he laughs. He’s sorry; it’s too easy. She says she thought he was hallucinating, and hits him with a pillow. He says she’s so beautiful, and he loves her. They kiss. Oscar asks if she’s sure she’s not with him because she feels sorry for him. Josslyn says when she looks at him, she sees him. The cancer is a part of it, but just a small part. When she looks at him, she sees the incredible, smart, sensitive, seriously cute guy she fell in love. The guy who listened and understood, and accepted her from the first moment they talked at her party. The one where no one was supposed to be drinking. She didn’t know what it was like to fall in love. She imagined it, watching rom-coms, reading books, dreaming up scenarios. He thought she was too busy climbing mountains. She says he was wrong. She dreamt about it, but it’s nothing like the real thing. He’s sorry about the breakup, but she says, don’t be. Everything about loving him has been wonderful. They kiss
Jason calls Olivia, and asks if she’s seen Carly. He tells her to let him know when she shows up. He has her phone. How can Jason possibly be this dense?
Doc is wheeled in, and Laura runs to him. He says it’s good to hear Finn’s voice. Chase leaves with the officer who brought Doc in, to get a full account of Ferncliff, and what Do said in the car. Finn needs to check on Jordan, since he’s the only doctor in the hospital today. Doc asks if Ryan hurt her, but Laura says it was a car accident. He asks if Ryan has been caught, and she tells him, no; he’s still out there. Jason sees Doc, and asks if his blindness returned. He thought there would be no reoccurrence. Laura says he wasn’t treated; it was actually Ryan. Doc says his brother has been impersonating him for months, while he was locked in Ferncliff. Laura says she’s going check Jordan. Jason wants to ask Doc some questions, and he says they can talk while the nurse preps the IV. Jason says the patient in the room next to Carly was his brother, wasn’t it? Maybe they should just periodically shake down Ferncliff for people who aren’t supposed to be there.
Jordan struggles to sit up, saying she has to get back to work. The killer is out there. Anna says she has a team on it. Curtis says, first things first. Tell him what she remembers. She says it’s not that clear, and he asks what the last thing is she remembers. She says she was on her way back into the hospital. She was leaving a voicemail, and a car came right at her. She says, Franco. She has to tell Chase that he needs protection; he’s cooperating with the investigation. Curtis says, they know. Franco is in ICU. She asks if something happened, and he says her plan worked. She says, Ryan Chamberlain is dead, but Curtis says, not so much. Apparently he’s been impersonating Doc months. He tried to kill Franco, but Franco managed to get away. She asks how badly he’s hurt, and Curtis tells her, don’t worry; just rest, and he’ll be back. In the hallway, he tells Finn to give it to him straight. Finn says she’s much better. Her blood pressure is stabilized, and there’s no sign of infection. The remaining kidney isn’t processing the fluids they’re giving her, and while they’re waiting on a transplant, they should start dialysis. Does Curtis want to tell her?
Jordan tells Anna, the frame-up was too good, and with Franco’s history, she told him the only option was to cooperate. She heard the interview. It was chilling and compelling, and she’s not surprised the real killer showed himself. She thought Ryan died over twenty years ago. Anna says the body was never found. Jordan says he made himself indispensable to the investigation. She should have known. Anna asks, how would she? They all thought he was dead.
Ryan comes back in to Ava naked in bed. She says since the suitcases were in the car, she had nothing to wear. She hopes he doesn’t mind starting the honeymoon tonight. He says they could travel the world, and he would see nothing as breathtaking as her right now.
Julian asks if everything is okay, and Kim says everything in her world is going well. She watched her beautiful boy take on another day. Sometimes the simplest act of bravery is putting on foot in front of the next. From now on, she’s going to enjoy every moment of every day. She says this is where he comes in and asks how he can help. She has some suggestions. He likes where this is going, and she pulls down the shades.
Trina and Cameron play cards. He says he used to play with his mom and brothers. They had game night with no phones. He remembers going easy on Aiden, who somehow beat him for real. He doesn’t remember the last time they did it. Trina asks why they stopped. He says, Franco, and she asks if he’s not a card player. Cameron says, don’t know, don’t care. He didn’t want be around Franco, pretending that he’s a good guy. It was bad enough his mom fell for it, but seeing his brothers believe in him, he couldn’t be a part of it, so he wasn’t around for the pseudo family togetherness. He wishes he’d gotten through to his mom before they got married. Trina says Franco pled guilty, and his mom still thinks he’s innocent. There’s nothing he could say or do to change her mind. She’s going to ride this train to the end. He asks what he should do, and she tells him, be there for his brothers; they need him. Hopefully, when Franco is in prison, his mom will let it go. Cameron says, it’s not bad advice, and Trina says she’s actually very insightful.
Ryan tells Ava, gazing into her eyes and holding her is what he appreciates the most. Holding her, he feels invincible. She never felt so needed and at home before. It’s a gift. Everything about him is a gift to her. He believes they came to each other to heal each other’s wounds, and they have the rest of their lives to do it. That’s all she needs to know.
Jason tells Doc that he heard the patient next to Carly screaming, but Doc stopped him as he was about to look. Doc says he did it to protect Carly, but Jason doesn’t buy it. He thinks Doc just didn’t want him to see that it was his brother. Doc says he’s exhausted, and it’s too complicated to explain. Jason says the patient was listed as Wilson, and Carly thought there was a connection, but Doc blew her off. Doc says if anyone talked to him in the last five months, they were talking to Ryan. He asks where Carly is, but Jason doesn’t know.
Ava puts on Ryan’s shirt. He likes her in it, and says she’s glowing. She says it’s the locale and the company, and being away from Port Charles and all of those people. Ryan says they don’t have to go back. Why let the toxic naysayers pollute their relationship? She says she’s not giving up Avery. He understands, saying he just got caught up in the moment and her beauty. She goes to take a shower.
While Ava is showering, Ryan takes an envelope out of his bag. Inside is a passport. a wad of cash, and tickets to Singapore. He says, the springboard to the rest of their lives. He’s sorry about the kids, but he’ll make sure this makes up for the one Ava lost and the one she left behind.
Julian tells Kim that he’s buying a lottery ticket. He doesn’t remember when the Jeromes had such luck. Kim says he’s the only Jerome getting lucky tonight. Julian tells her about Ava stopping by, and how she was going to Niagara Falls and eloping tonight. He was worried, but she insisted it was fine. If there’s one thing he’s learned, it’s not to get between Ava and what she wants. Kim says Ava deserves happiness after what she’s gone through. Julian isn’t sure he can get used to her with Doc. Kim kisses him, and he says they should take it to his room. She pushes him against the bar, and says, no. They get busy.
Laura sees Jordan, and asks how she is. Jordan says every time she took Doc’s advice, she thought it was based on his experiences with his brother. She never imagined he was the killer. She says she’ll give her resignation, but Laura tells her, don’t be silly. No one knew he was still alive. She was living with him and never suspected. He never would have been flushed out if hadn’t been for Jordan; it was her plan. Jordan says that’s what Anna told her. Laura says, no more talk about resigning. She needs to focus on her recovery. Laura needs her in tip top shape. Chase comes in, and says, good to see you, boss. He needs to talk to Laura, and they go into the hallway. Anna tells Jordan that her team needs its top cop back. She tells Jordan that she’ll be fine, and she loves her. She’ll check in later.
Finn tells Curtis that Jordan as a good chance with the transplant. In the meantime, dialysis patients lead normal lives. Curtis says, or some semblance of it. He says, she’s strong; she can handle it, and Finn agrees, she can. He says, it’s good to lead with that, and Curtis goes back to Jordan’s room.
Chase asks if Laura can think of where Ryan might be. She tells him, find Ava, and he’ll find Ryan. Chase says he’ll try to locate Ava, and she tells him, be careful. Ryan is so infatuated with Ava, she thinks he’ll stop at nothing to be with her.
Josslyn can’t believe Oscar’s story about not eating. Oscar says, those days are gone. He needs to hydrate, since he doesn’t want to feel nauseous. Josslyn goes to get water. When she’s gone, a headache comes on, and Oscar slides off the bed to the floor. Josslyn comes back, and tells him, breathe. She yells for help, and I wish she’d quit shaking him. I don’t think that’s helping. Cameron and Trina run in, and Josslyn tells them that Oscar is having a seizure. Cameron gets on the phone, and calls an ambulance, explaining about Oscar’s brain tumor. He gives them the address, and tells Josslyn, they’re coming. Josslyn tells Oscar to stay with her. She wonders, what does she do? Wow. She made it sound like she could handle this kind of thing if it happened, and you’d think she might have educated herself a bit. I know she’s a teenager, but she’s no dummy, and she’s been through this scenario before. Underground with no one for miles.
Laura asks the nurse at the desk if Jason is still there. She says he was there a few minutes ago
Anna tells Doc that he was an unwilling participant. Cabot laid the groundwork, and Andre did the memory transfer. Finn says the virus became active in a select period of time; the symptoms manifesting regardless of when the serum was taken. Doc says that explains why he and Ryan went blind around the same time. Finn says the procedure is quick, and relatively simple. Doc can’t wait. He was afraid he’d never see Laura’s face again. He thought he was going to die. Anna tells him, rest, and Doc says it’s important they catch Ryan before he claims another victim.
Jordan gives Chase instructions on what she wants done. She wants Margaux to know that Franco will be changing his plea. Curtis tells her, that’s enough for now. Chase says, he – the whole force – is glad she’s back. Curtis asks if Jordan wants medication, but she needs a clear head. She can’t conduct a manhunt from bed. He says, no can do. They have to talk about what comes next.
Ava lays out a white dress. She wonders where her shoes are, and thinks they got left in the car. She gets the keys from Ryan’s bag, and goes out.
The ambulance comes. The EMT says Josslyn will have to follow and meet them there. Josslyn tells Cameron this is worse than when they were in the catacombs. Oscar isn’t waking up
Curtis tells Jordan the accident was serious. He’s glad she made it out alive, but she needed surgery. She asks, what is it? and he says she broke two ribs, and they lacerated her left kidney. It was a grade four injury. She’s guessing that’s bad. He explains the kidneys regulate blood pressure, and hers spiked, so they removed it. She nods, and says, okay. She can still live a full, healthy life with one kidney. Curtis says the other was also damaged; not quite as bad, but she’ll need dialysis, and eventually a transplant. She says she’s not going to the station after all. He knows it’s a lot, but he’s glad she’s alive. Deep in his heart, he knows she’ll be okay. She asks if TJ and Stella know, and he says they’ve been a great tag team, helping him understand medicalese. They both said she’s strong, and can manage until the transplant. Jordan says she’ll have to keep up with the rules she’ll need to follow. Meanwhile, a killer is on the loose, and it’s his job to find him.
Jason goes to Charlie’s, and asks Julian where Ava is. Julian tells him to have Sonny call or text her. Jason says Carly is in trouble, and Ava might be the only one able to help. Julian wonders why Ava would help Carly. Jason says if he has to track Ava some other way, and Carly gets hurt in the meantime, he’s holding Julian responsible.
Ryan comes out of the bathroom, saying the shower gave him an appetite. He sees Ava is gone. Outside, Ava can’t find her shoes, and says they’ve got to be there somewhere. She looks at the trunk.
Finn tells Anna that he doesn’t envy Curtis having to tell the woman he loves that she’s in for the fight of her life. Jordan has a million questions and concerns. Curtis says it’s a lot to process, but they have a lot of time to think about options. She says she’s just a little freaked out. She’s been healthy, and took it for granted. Curtis says her good health was an asset, and she’s glad she was diligent about working out. Curtis is too, for a number of reasons. She asks if he’s flirting with her, and he says, of course. He loves her very much. They kiss.
Chase finds Doc looking for Laura. He thought she was with the commissioner, but was pulled away for questioning.
Julian tells Jason that he’ll deal with the consequences. Kim says Ava and Doc were eloping, and headed for Niagara Falls. Jason flies out the door, and runs into Laura. He tells her about Ava, and says he has to find them. She says she’s going with him, but he says he has to do this alone. She says she’s known him a long time, and asks what would Sonny say. He says Sonny would tell him to take hr. Let’s go.
Julian leaves a message for Ava, saying if Jason shows up, it’s not to say congratulations. Kim’s phone rings. It’s Josslyn, who says she’s sorry to call, but Oscar had a seizure. Kim asks where they are, and Josslyn tells her, Niagara Falls. Oscar was taken to the Niagara Medical Center. Kim says she’s on her way. She tells Julian that her boy is in trouble.
Cameron almost smacks right into Ryan outside.
Ava says her shoes better be in the trunk, and opens it.
Next time, Sonny asks what else someone sees, Kim tells Drew about Oscar, Ava wonders what happened, and Ryan can’t let Cameron go – not yet.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
We start off with everyone’s take on Doggate. Dorit is now saying that Lucy bit the children several times. She thought she gave the dog to someone who loved her, and it blew up in her face. To top it off, people are talking.
Teddi says last night was a sh*t show. She doesn’t understand why LVP tried to manipulate her. She’s not the most easy-going, but not out to sabotage anyone. Honey, you are a grown woman. Nobody made you say anything. That was all you.
LVP doesn’t know why she’s getting the blame. She went out of her way not talk publicly, now Dorit is siding with everyone else. Dorit insists it’s not about the dog, but her. LVP says her priority has always been the dog. She has no idea how sort out this whole bloody mess.
Still in the Bahamas, Dorit books a snorkeling trip for some of the ladies, Erika invites Teddi to play golf, and Kyle calls LVP to go shopping. LisaR, Camille, and Denise go with Dorit. They stop first for fancy drinks that are mixed using a bike.
Erika tells Teddi that she started taking golf lessons, and out drove Tom. It was the first and last time they played together. In her interview, Teddi says with all the bullsh*t going on, she’s glad she and Erika put aside their differences. She’s excited for the opportunity to golf, especially since it’s not in a group setting with all the opinions flying. Erika is good. I suck a golf. Teddi is sure her three-year-old is better than she is. All she knows about golf is the Tiger Woods cheating scandal. Erika tries helping her, but Teddi might be right about her kid being better.
Dorit’s group goes snorkeling. On the boat Dorit whines that she feels like she’s been rolled over. Denise is confused; she doesn’t know the whole story. She also does rescue, and says not every dog is suited to everybody. Dorit says she adopted a previous dog, but it bit her kids, and she took it back. Alrighty then. I get what this brainless twit did. It’s possible the kids might be too rough, but regardless, she did do it right the first time by returning the dog to LVP. I would bet the farm, the reason she didn’t do that the second time was because she was afraid LVP would think she’s a serial returner. She tried to be slick, and it backfired. She did speak to LVP the day after she sent Lucy to another home. Camille thinks that’s the issue, and Dorit should have called LVP before giving the dog away. In Camille’s interview, she doesn’t understand why Dorit waited, but thinks it could be because it was the second dog. Thank you Voice-of-Reason Camille. Dorit insists, it’s not about that. She and LVP talk all time. Camille says, that’s what makes it worse. Dorit keeps saying, that’s not it, but in her interview, Camille thinks she was shady. LisaR says something stupid about LVP creating the situation. What is wrong with these women? Don’t answer that. The list is too long.
LVP wants retail therapy, saying, it’s the best option. Kyle says she was already looking at watches. LVP picks up a huge tote bag, and says they can put their anxiety in it, but Kyle says, it’s not big enough. LVP says she didn’t sleep well, but they’ll talk after she focuses on something happy – i.e. shopping. Kyle doesn’t think anyone ate; they were so upset. LVP says they’ll talk in a minute. They check out the jewelry. Kyle asks if LVP has talked to Dorit, and she says she did this morning. Kyle asks how it was, and LVP says, fine. IN her interview, Kyle thinks LVP is stubborn, but not talking won’t help. Kyle doesn’t buy anything, saying she has her eyes on bigger things, like a Rolex.
Erika asks how Teddi feels. Teddi didn’t like the shift at dinner. It made her look vindictive, and she wonders why LVP can’t be up front. In Teddi’s interview, she says you don’t warn someone that somebody else knows something about them. Why not? Erika says, it looks like a well-orchestrated plan to turn two women against each other. Teddi asks if she thinks it’s a lie, that LVP’s staff told her damaging information. She didn’t tell anyone. We see a clip of her telling Kyle. Teddi says she knows the employees were told to tell her by LVP. In Erika’s interview, she says LVP made a critical error in judgement. She thought Teddi would do what she wanted. Teddi tells Erika that she doesn’t want to pull out proof, but Erika says she might have to. Because we’re twelve.
The ladies go snorkeling, but in her interview, Denise says, not a fish, not a flower, no coral, nothing to look at. LisaR says, not even a snail or a turtle. Just sand. They get out of the water. Shouldn’t the captain have known what location was good?
LVP and Kyle have reserves a cabana in beautiful cover. LVP heard there are baby flamingos there. They have a butler, and order dinks and food. They drink some wine, and Kyle says it was weird how LisaR was chiming in. Because they’re close, Kyle can tell LVP what it looks like from the other side. Teddi thinks she was set up, and Dorit thinks that LVP was counting on Teddi bringing it up.
Teddi says it would be done if LVP just said she made a mistake. Erika says Teddi was fed bad information on purpose. Teddi says she’s going to be accused of not letting things go. Erika says she wouldn’t let it go.
LVP says John was out of order. We flash back to John asking Kyle if she recognizes Lucy. LVP says he shouldn’t have talked about it. We see a clip of a phone conversation between LVP and John, where he says he’s not her employee; he’s her partner, and she doesn’t control what says. LVP tells Kyle that John has his own agenda. Kyle thinks he’s upset with Dorit.
Denise asks what LVP would have to gain by setting Dorit up. LisaR gets on the protect-your-children-at-all-costs bandwagon, saying Dorit did the right thing. Protect your children, and tell everyone else eff off. She’s such an ass. Dorit could have confined the dog, and called LVP. It’s that simple. Dorit seems like the one who had an agenda. To keep her stupidity a secret.
Here come the baby flamingos! Just wandering into the cabana. They are the cutest, fuzziest little things, and I desperately want to hold one. LVP asks if their keeper feels like a parent because she raised them. In her interview, LVP says she’d like to hang out with the flamingoes, rather than those other silly old birds.
Everyone makes phone calls home, and then gets ready for dinner. LVP calls Teddi, and asks if she can talk for a second. Teddi comes to LVP’s room, and immediately asks if she’s getting an apology. LVP would like an explanation; she doesn’t understand. Teddi says LVP is smart, and that’s what makes it a bummer. She says from the get-go, she was told that LVP wanted her to know about the dog. There were direct instructions to tell her. LVP insists that’s not the case. In her interview, Teddi says it’s a boldface lie. She asks if LVP didn’t text Dorit about her knowing, and LVP says she did. She knew their history was tenuous. If she hadn’t told Dorit, and Teddi brought it up, there would have been another problem. She wanted to clear it up before it started. Teddi wants her to apologize for putting her in this situation. LVP says she’s sorry Teddi is in the situation, but she didn’t tell her employees to get involved. She wanted to shut it down, and stands by that. She asks if Teddi wants her to call John. Teddi says she thinks LVP is creating sh*t because she got busted. She needs to get her story straight. Teddi says she’s not doing this, and blows out, running into Dorit on her way. She tells Dorit, it’s not fair. She tells LVP that she’s smarter than she’s leading them to believe, and she’s not being LVP’s pawn. In her interview, Dorit says LVP has been her friend, and they have a history, but the person she has a precarious history with is defending her. What is she supposed to do? I dunno. Take your head out of your ass and quit trying to cover it?
Kyle calls Mauricio. She’s sent him pictures of the Rolexes she’s interested in. She didn’t want to buy anything that expensive without discussing it first. In her interview, she says after the robbery, she knew she couldn’t replace everything, but little by little, she wants to add to her collection. She tells Mauricio that it’s tax free. He’s good with her buying it. BTW, it’s over $10K. Teddi knocks on Kyle’s door. Both Kyle and I note, that face. Teddi asks how clear Kyle was when she spoke with LVP, and Kyle says, very clear. Teddi doesn’t know how LVP could possibly be confused. She came for an apology, but didn’t get one. Instead, she’s irritated. She asks if she’s supposed to just sit at dinner and smile now. Kyle says, yep.
LVP tells Dorit it’s bullsh*t that she told her employee to talk to Teddi. It looks like John is making things up. Dorit basically ignores this, and says she doesn’t want to be late for dinner.
The ladies cross a footbridge to get to a gorgeous table by the water. Everyone is having trouble navigating it in heels. Camille says she’s going to have good time. She’s having bread tonight. Kyle asks what everyone did today, and LisaR says they didn’t see any fish, but had fun. Dorit and LVP show up last, and Dorit apologizes for being late. In Erika’s interview, she says she doesn’t know what happened before dinner, but it doesn’t look good. Kyle tells everyone about the shopping and says she has something being delivered. LVP is giving the side eye all over the place, and no one even talks to her except Dorit. In her interview, LVP says they didn’t even acknowledge her. She feels about as welcome as a turd in a swimming pool. LisaR (who I just typo-ed as liar – ha-ha!) tells Denise the food doesn’t fit with their white trash palates. In Denise’s interview, she says she likes toasted cheese and burgers. Fancy food is pretty for an Instagram photo, but she prefers the kids menu. LVP tells Camille that she wants to get to the bottom of it, and in her interview, says she and Kyle are leaving early. Kyle is getting Sofia off to school, and she has a scheduled event.
LisaR toasts to Dorit, saying it was a lovely time blah-blah-blah. Dorit is glad everyone is there, even though there were some unpleasant moments. Camille hopes they work it out. It gets really quiet, and Kyle asks how Teddi’s day was. Teddi says she had a good beginning to the day. She wishes she felt better about things, but she doesn’t, and she’s not going to sugarcoat it and make small talk, because she’s not effing fake. Dorit knows exactly how she’s feeling, and believes everything Teddi said. Teddi thanks her, but says, it feels yucky. Oh please. In her interview, LVP says, Dorit stands for nothing. She should have loyalty for the friend who’s had her back for two years. With friends like these… you know the rest. LisaR gets all dramatic, asking, why is this happening to Teddi Mellencamp? Why? LVP gets up, and says, it’s fine, but has to get up at four. She’ll discuss it individually, but she’s not doing it there. Dorit begs her not to leave, and in her interview, says it reminds her of when LVP left the dinner with her and Kyle last year. We flash back to that. LVP tells Kyle that she doesn’t want to hash it out now. In Dorit’s interview, she wants to say she believes LVP, but needs to be true to herself, and needs to process everything. For Dorit to process anything could take our entire lives. I don’t blame LVP for leaving. This was yucky all right, but not in the way Teddi would like us to believe.
Kyle follows LVP. LVP says she wasn’t even there five minutes, and they’re all acting like she’s a bitch. At the table, LisaR says Teddi shouldn’t have been put in this position. She has empathy, since she’s been where Teddi is. Teddi says she’s never once told a lie, and they’ll never hear her tell one. Just a little self-righteous – and unbelievable. LVP tells Kyle she doesn’t understand. Something is wrong, and she wants to figure it out. Denise wants clarity, and asks if they think LVP set it up, and isn’t admitting to it. Teddi says she has proof, and shows them a text from John. Kyle comes back, and LisaR jumps her, asking if it isn’t the case that LVP doesn’t always tell the truth. Kyle says she’s closest with her, and LisaR asks if LVP has ever lied to her. Kyle says knows who LVP is. She’s not saying it’s okay, but it part of who she is. LisaR demands an answer as to why LVP did this, and Kyle says she doesn’t have one. She’s not responsible for LVP’s actions. She knows this about her, but loves her; LVP is her friend, and everyone has both a good side and a bad side. LisaR asks when do they say enough is enough? The only sane one (well, Denise seems sane, but she’s not really in the mix yet), Camille, says she doesn’t know what happened, but there are people she’s wanted apologies from for years, and sometimes it never happens. In her interview, Camille says every woman there has done something to hurt someone else. We flash back to Kyle putting Camille down, and Dorit calling her the c-word. She says, friendship is about moving on, and life is too short to hold grudges. Teddi whines, who wants to live like this? Good God, Camille isn’t asking you to marry LVP, just be nice at dinner. Erika says Teddi doesn’t want to pretend to be nice to someone who screwed her over. Erika says she’ll give Denise $1000 to knock on LVP’s door, and asks her about it. In Denise’s interview, she says her Spidey sense tells her not to get on LVP’s bad side, and she doesn’t need the money. Ha-ha! Smart chick. In her interview, Erika says Denise was married to Charlie Sheen and she’s afraid of LVP? I actually think Denise isn’t afraid of anyone, and was just being funny in her interview, but who is Erika to dictate anything? Does she even know who Denise is, offering her a pittance? Erika says had fun anyway. Kyle’s Rolex arrives, and she puts it on. She asks for Rolexes on the rocks.
LVP tries to call Ken, but the call keeps dropping. She finally finds out he’s not home
At 4 am, LVP and Kyle are in a limo to the airport. Kyle says she had some fun after dinner, and we see clips of them making fools of themselves at a club. In her interview, she says they were perhaps a little overserved. We see a clip of Kyle and Teddi rolling around on the floor, and Kyle says she’s made better choices in life. She tells LVP that she was having shots two hours ago. LVP didn’t sleep much, and starts talking about what a-holes these girls are. In Kyle’s interview, she says she slept for two hours. She can’t listen about Lucy right now.
Dorit has the ladies to her suite for breakfast. In her interview, Denise says, they even dress up for breakfast. They’re lucky she put an effing bra on. I die laughing because that sounds exactly like something I would say. So far, I love Denise, but I also loved the reality show she had for like, five minutes, with all the animals and her cute, single dad. I was disappointed when it wasn’t renewed. LisaR says they had little bit of a late night, and this old broad doesn’t recover like she used to. She says she enjoyed night, but woke up feeling doom. Omg, does she ever not dramatize something? In her interview, Dorit says her friendship with LVP extends beyond the two of them, involving PK and other people. She hopes they work things out, and she can rebuild her trust in LVP. She tells the ladies that she wants ownership and an apology, but that’s not where this is going. It’s time to pack.
Ooh, seeing an aerial shot of Lisa’s home, it looks like a Polly Pocket village. Harrison! LVP tells Ken she didn’t have a good time, even though that’s what she went for. She felt left out. She needed a break, and the women kept hammering at her. She tears up, saying Ken doesn’t know what it’s like. He tells her that he got John to print out all the texts between him and Teddi. Teddi asked him to have the dog there when she went to Vanderpump Dogs, and she would say it looks like Dorit’s dog. WTF? We flash back to John asking if Kyle and Teddi recognize the dog. Her text says, either way, it will come out. LVP can’t effing believe it. She wonders how Teddi could have set her up, when she’s emotional anyway, and encourage her friends to turn against her, when she sent a text telling John to have the dog there. What does that say about her character. Ken thinks Dorit will go crazy when she sees this. Nah, she’ll just sit on the fence like always.
Next time, Sofia goes to college, denies says she’s getting married, and Erika tells Teddi not to back down.
The Real Housewives of New York City
We flash back to six months ago, and LuAnn being excited for the future. We see a headline saying Luann’s children are suing her, and another that she’s back in rehab. We flash back to Andy asking Bethenny if there was an intervention. She says, there were a few people there. We see a headline saying Dennis has been found dead. The producer asks if Bethenny can talk about Dennis, but she can’t say anything.
Tinsley has a car delivered from Chicago in a massive truck. Sonja walks her pup in the park. LuAnn talks to Victoria, saying she added Girl Code to her show, and asks if Victoria would sing it with her. Bethenny does a photo shoot for Skinny Girl jeans. She cries in the bathroom, but doesn’t want to. Ramona says she renovated her apartment to sell it, but likes it now. Dorinda meets friend Luke in the park.
Dorinda wants a real walk. Luke says she looks good. She says if Carole can do it, she can. She’s decided to spend time doing her, and has been exercising and being healthy. She says, nothing good happens after a couple of drinks. She doesn’t handle alcohol well, and we see some clips, including the clip! clip. Luke tells her people have said she gets nasty, but Dorinda says it was only LuAnn who said that, and she was deflecting. I believe it if you believe it. Luke says LuAnn isn’t one to talk. Dorinda says in a year and a half, LuAnn has made a lot of erratic decisions. She was married, divorced, arrested, assaulted an officer… Luke says, some people don’t even do that in a lifetime. Dorinda says, she went to rehab, came out, was still drinking the whole time, and went back into rehab. She wishes LuAnn well, but it’s not healthy for them to be around each other. In her interview, Dorinda says, at this moment, they’re in a place where they need a minute.
Bethenny’s friends Jimmy and Gina come for lunch. In her interview, Bethenny says Dennis passed away three weeks ago. His daughter called her crying hysterically, and she started screaming. She tells them about the letter she wrote to Dennis, and how Brynn added underneath that she misses him. Bethenny starts crying. In her interview, she says she’s never felt like this in her life. Nothing matters though. He’s gone; there’s nothing to say. Jimmy says he had two friends die last year. You have good days and bad days, but he doesn’t think they’d want him to be sad. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, time is healing the wounds, but then she feels guilty. She’s trying to do what he would want. The bottom line is to enjoy life, and live every day like it was the last. She jokes that they should take their tops off and have an orgy.
There’s no food at Sonja’s new apartment, and no closet space. Ramona arrives, and tells Sonja that she has two dates tonight. In her interview, Sonja says she feels lighter not living day to day at the townhouse. She loves the simplicity, and is in the park every morning, developing a deep connection with her poodle. Sonja tells Ramona that her daughter wants pink walls, and a black lacquer door. Ramona says the color scheme gives her a headache. She tells Sonja that her apartment is going on market. She needs something new and fresh. She asks if Sonja is going to the Hamptons next weekend, and Sonja says she’s riding out with Tinsley. She doesn’t want Bethenny to be alone, but she’s there if Bethenny needs her. Ramona says, you think you’ll live forever, but time is limited. In Ramona’s interview, she feels badly. Bethenny doesn’t have that many close friends, and relied on him. Sonja says the dog wants to go out three or four times every day; he has friends in the park. Ramona suggests it as a way to meet men, but Sonja says she wants to meet someone through friends of hers, not the dog’s friends.
LuAnn is in Sag Harbor. Her friend Barbara drops by while LuAnn is changing her Vespa. LuAnn suggests they go to town for lunch. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she and Barbara met when their sons went to summer camp together. LuAnn makes a flower arrangement for Barbara, and has an espresso maker for her. She says she’s grateful for Barbara. The things going on with the kids were overwhelming. She’s glad she went back to rehab. She needed a change, and fell in love with the house upstate, but couldn’t get a bank loan. She wanted to sell the house in the Hamptons, but her kids didn’t like that idea, and joined their father in putting a legal hold on it. It was upsetting, and she had a relapse. She says when the sh*t hit the fan, Barbara came to her rescue, along with Bethenny. In her interview, Barbara says she was there with Bethenny and Ann; LuAnn’s Charlie’s Angels team. She was a mess. Barbara watched the mistakes LuAnn made with Tom. We flash back to the party where Barbara said LuAnn would rather go ahead and get married, than admit defeat and call it off. She didn’t want LuAnn to make another mistake, and encouraged her to go back. LuAnn says she goes to meetings every day. She gets weepy about her kids, and Barbara hugs her, saying it’s great that they see her sober. LuAnn says she can’t slip again. Barbara says she won’t. In her interview, LuAnn says going back a second time, she wasn’t proud. She failed, and it’s not easy to live sober. She takes it day by day; it’s a struggle. They leave for lunch on the Vespa.
Tinsley is out shopping, and Dorinda joins her. Dorinda asks about Scott, and Tinsley says last year, they traveled a lot, but this summer they settled in Chicago. She got to play hostess at a party for his employees. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she’s an optimist. She thinks this time it’s a lot different, and better. They’ve talked about marriage and babies, and he knows what kind of ring she wants. They’re on the same page. Dorinda asks if Tinsley cooked, and Tinsley says she helped grocery shop. Dorinda confesses there were many nights she catered, but put the food in the oven like she made it herself. It’s all about presentation. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Tinsley asks if Dorinda has talked to LuAnn, and Dorinda says, nope. In her interview, Tinsley doesn’t know all the facts, but two big egos aren’t working out. They talk about Bethenny. Dorinda says they’ve all been through things like this, and you need to let people do it at their own pace. Just be there if they need you. It’s a personal journey.
Sonja’s assistant, Taylor, makes toast for Sonja’s breakfast. She brings it to the bedroom, and Sonja says she wondered what was taking so long. There’s no explanation, but yeah, toast shouldn’t be that complicated. Sonja tells Taylor to make sure the shoes are being shipped out. In her interview, she says, Taylor is like a breath of fresh air. She has no window coverings, and says thy have to measure and paint before the blinds can be put up. In Sonja’s interview, she says it feels great in the new apartment, although she would have liked the blinds up already. She says her Netflix and Chill guy is coming, so she wants to put something up. They duct tape towels to the window. Sonja is worried they’ll fall while she’s having sex. She says at least they’re monogrammed; that’s classy.
Swimming instructor Boris arrives at Ramona’s. She’s not good swimmer, and tells him about the boat ride from hell. She says she’d die out on the ocean. They head outside. Ramona hopes she can concentrate on swimming, since he’s cute. Mmm… meh. He starts with the breaststroke, which is all she can do. She practices while keeping pool noodles under her, and makes suggestive remarks.
Tinsley and Sonja head out. They’re going in style in a Bentley. Tinsley hopes she can drive it. She hasn’t driven in five years, but she was a good driver before; she should be a good one now. Um.. maybe not. Sonja is nervous. She says she’s a good driver, but she’s a control freak. They’re finally on their way. Sonja likes to take the bus, but she’s letting Tinsley drive, since she’s excited, and it’s time well spent with her friend. Tinsley swears she knows how to drive, but isn’t sure if she’d pass a test. She has no idea how to get to the Hamptons. Sonja doesn’t want to die.
At her house in Bridgehampton, Bethenny sets out food. Assistant Meg says she hasn’t had a luncheon in a while. She says she invited LuAnn over, but hasn’t seen her since the intervention weekend. LuAnn arrives, bearing a pie. Barbara doesn’t want to come in empty-handed. She goes to her car, and brings out a toolkit. She’s a DIY guru, and always has a spare of her tool line for when the going gets rough. LuAnn presents the chocolate mousse pie to Bethenny. In her interview, Bethenny says she’s known Barbara for years. LuAnn’s relationship to her is an enigma, but they both live in the Hamptons, and Hamptons people gravitate to each other. Someone sent Bethenny a picture of Dennis. She says she’s fine, but it threw her off. LuAnn says it’s her right to be fine or not be fine. Barbara says she finds it therapeutic to use a hammer and pound something. Bethenny makes a joke about Barbara liking a pounding.
Ramona sets out food. Dorinda arrives, and mentions how she always brings a fabulous candle. This time, she’s put it in a tote from LuAnn’s wedding. Ramona thinks it’s bad luck, and doesn’t want to touch it.
Luanna asks if Bethenny invited Sonja. Bethenny says she texted Sonja, and said she can stay there. LuAnn says Ramona always guilts her into staying.
Ramona tells Dorinda that LuAnn is in a bad place. She looks good superficially, but inside, she’s broken and trying to cover. She’s not acting rationally. Dorinda says part of healing is being humble, and Ramona says, never going to happen.
LuAnn tells Bethenny that Ramona is a liar. She made up a story about her at a party. Barbara was with her. Ramona claimed she was asked to leave, but she hadn’t wanted to stay; there were too many people drinking. Barbara confirms that they left after a short time. Bethenny asks why Ramona would make it up, and Barbara says, she loves spreading lies. She and LuAnn were dancing at a club once, and Ramona asked LuAnn, what’s she doing there? LuAnn told her Barbara was her friend, and that’s how she knows Ramona. Ramona runs into her, and acts like she doesn’t know her. In Barbara’s interview, she says she’s probably met Ramona fifteen times, but Ramona never has any recollection. She doesn’t think she’s forgettable, but apparently Ramona does. LuAnn says the real issue is, Dorinda is really angry with herself. Bethenny says Dorinda gripes that she was always there for LuAnn, and uses it as an excuse. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, the small things build up and become big things. LuAnn thinks Dorinda has hatred for herself. She’s not the Dorinda that LuAnn knows.
LuAnn says Dorinda isn’t reaching out. Barbara asks what LuAnn would say if she did. LuAnn thinks that’s pointless, since she hasn’t.
Dorinda tells Ramona that she hasn’t not seen to spoken to LuAnn since March. She gets teary, saying she was hurt by it. Ramona tells her not to cry. LuAnn isn’t in a good place; she can’t help it. In her interview, Ramona says, Dorinda has a heart of gold. She gets angry fast, but forgets fast.
Barbara says she’s known Dorinda forever. In her interview, LuAnn says Dorinda shows no sign of remorse for the way she behaved. She’s not seeing Dorinda unless she reaches out.
Dorinda doesn’t know what to do. In her interview, she accuses LuAnn of being on her high horse on another level.
LuAnn doesn’t know if she’s going to the clambake. Bethenny says if she’s feeling emotionally unsteady, she has to do what she needs to. LuAnn would rather not see Ramona either.
Dorinda tells Ramona that she and LuAnn need to give each other space. She feels like LuAnn thinks she should bend the knee to her. Where are we? Winterfell? In her interview, Dorinda says if LuAnn thinks she’s self-righteous or sanctimonious, it doesn’t help mend the relationship. Ramona says maybe LuAnn will come to her senses on her own. Dorinda says they need space.
Luann says she’s not apologizing to someone who hurt her. She hasn’t healed, and it’s unhealthy.
This season, a circus, pool floats, a naked chef, making out (with each other), Dorinda insists she didn’t heckle LuAnn, Tinsley isn’t leaving NYC without a ring, Halloween, Jill, Ramona is into hot sex and I don’t want to know, Bethenny feels guilty about Dennis, a trip to Miami, Sonja falls under the table, Christmas cabaret with the Countess, Bethenny tells the Countess life is not a cabaret, lots of yelling, Bethenny calls someone a sicko, Tinsley is miserable, and Bethenny toasts to being in a good place.
🍷 On The Real Housewives of New Jersey – the Reunion, Part Three – Teresa admitted that if Joe #1 got deported, the long distance thing wouldn’t work for her. She already established last week that she wouldn’t be hauling the kids to Italy. She said she and Juicy Joe had discussed it, and they both believed they’d move on if he had to leave the country. Joe #2 felt Joe #1 deceived Teresa, and she has the right to do whatever she needs to. Andy asked if she reached out to any of the Trumps, since she knows them, but she said no. That made me wonder if she really wants him back. If Kim Kardashian can get a total stranger off the hook, why not make an attempt? Since by Part Three they’re running out of material, the guys were invited to join the magic circle. Frank, Bill (Jennifer’s husband), Evan (Jackie’s husband), and Joe #3 sat behind their SOs. When the guys did taglines, Joe #2 got in the Housewife spirit by using a gold curtain or blanket or something, as a dress, saying, I don’t flip tables; I have sex on them. Danielle was paraded out, and said she was in the process of divorcing Marty after a whole two months, but they were still living together. I’m not sure how they’re working that, since they also have mutual restraining orders. Danielle claimed to want it out of the public eye, but everyone agreed it was all over social media. The thirst is high with that one. The wedding details were rehashed, and we found out Marty is still friends with the dudes, which doesn’t surprise me. After seeing clips of Danielle throughout the season, Andy asked about a sex toy she had received at her bachelorette party. Danielle said what we were all thinking, after all that, that’s your leading question? There was a lively discussion about how Danielle ruined Mary’s life, and only got married for the TV exposure. We received some of the new gift that keeps on giving – Marty being tossed in the pool by Joe #3 and the Marge. We got a blow by blow from Marge herself, and an endless rehash. Although I do have to say, some of the women had a point that he could have gotten hurt, especially since it was dark out. Teresa was gifted by several cast members, and seemed more embarrassed than anything else. At the end, the girls gave Andy a surprise – a rich kid’s toy car. The kind they can ride around in, along with a tiny tracksuit. Each Housewife also gave him a piece of advice on being a parent. There was a group hug and we were out.
🔱 Judge Judy was wearing a messy bun in court today. I almost went into shock. It was like seeing my dad in jeans for the first time.
🍴 Something had to give on such a TV-crowded night, and it was 24 Hours to Hell and Back. Since it was the two-hour finale, I’m hoping to see it On Demand in the next few days.
😵 Why Won’t He Leave Her Alone…
Suckerfish Hoppy is at it again.
🍊 The Juice Is Running Low…
Is this the end of Juicy Joe and his childhood sweetheart?
🎼 A Thursday Song…
Because there’s nothing the internet doesn’t have.