Tag Archives: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

May 1, 2019 – Oscar’s Phenomena, Tinsley Cries At the Circus, Trouble In LalaLand, Vicki’s Victory, NeNe Is a Nightmare, Wondering, Via Con Dios & Made It

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Olivia puts photos of Oscar with his family in an album

In Oscar’s hospital room, Kim says he’s the same, just sleeping. Drew says Josslyn should sleep too, but she thinks she’ll stay in there. They haven’t finished reading. Kim asks if she wants anything, but she says she’s good. She reads out loud. Kim and Drew listen outside the door.

Elizabeth goes to Terry’s office, and asks if she wants to go for a drink. Terry says she’s not so much working as wishing. She’s hoping there’s something she missed. She keeps trying to make the pieces add up to a different conclusion, but no matter how she puts the pieces together, the story ends up the same way.

Ned finds Monica in the crypt. He asks what she’s doing, and she says, talking to ghosts. He says he won’t worry until she says they’re talking back. She says, they do. Sometimes, they’re the only ones she can trust to say exactly the right thing.

Carly looks at the babies in the hospital nursery. Sonny joins her, and she asks if their kids were ever this small. When they’re this tiny and helpless, you just don’t realize how much they’ll need you when they get older

Julian calls Kim. She says it’s good to hear his voice. He asks how Oscar is, and she says, no change. He’s sleeping now. Julian says he’s there if she needs him. She knows, and he says he loves her.

Cameron works on his laptop at Charlie’s. Trina asks if he’s doing homework, but he says it’s part of detention. Trina says it was a nice move. The guy he hit is a tool and a loser. She asks if she can help, and he asks if she means write it for him. Trina says, that would be a no, but she can help him focus. He says he’s writing about the kind of friends he wants to have, and the kind of friend he wants to be.

Drew sits with Kim on the stairs. He says they always end up there when there’s a perfectly comfortable couch. Kim says, it feels a little too far from Oscar. She saw how restless he was, like he’s fighting this with everything he’s got. Drew says, that’s him. The first time Oscar asked him for anything, it was to teach him to fight for something he believed in. Kim says, it’s agonizing to know it’s a fight he’ll lose.

Josslyn continues reading. She yawns, and falls asleep. The book drops to the floor. Lila watches Oscar. He asks if he knows her. He doesn’t think they’ve met, yet he thinks he knows her.

Carly tells Sonny that she’s trying to take a cue from Josslyn. She wants Josslyn to have as much time with Oscar as she needs, without her hovering. Carly doesn’t know how to help her with what’s coming. Sonny says they won’t forget Oscar like they won’t forget Morgan. Carly has fought to survive, and that’s the best example she can give Josslyn.

Ned asks Monica what the ghosts have to say. She says she’s not literally hearing them – at least not yet. They’re still bickering, and driving each other crazy. Ned says, it must be a noisy corner of… wherever they are. Monica says, they’re all looking out for each other. They all have each other’s backs, and she knows they’re going to look out for one anyone who joins them when the time comes.

Elizabeth doesn’t know how Terry does it. Terry says, not all cases end this way. 80% of the patients survive five years or more. They’re getting there. When a patient sees her after five years, and they’re healthy and happy, it makes it worthwhile. Elizabeth knows Terry makes the passage easier for the ones she can’t save.

Drew tells Kim that he keeps thinking, maybe Oscar’s not fighting a losing battle. Maybe the doctors are wrong. Kim says, it’s called magical thinking. She’s done her share. She knows it’s not rational, but they could use some magic right about now.

Lila moves to Oscar’s bedside, and puts her hand on his heart. Oscar tells Josslyn to wake up. Did she see the woman? Josslyn says, what woman? He looks around, but Lila is gone. He says he doesn’t know, and she asks if he’s okay. He says he doesn’t understand it, but he feels better She says, better? and he smiles and says, like he’s going to be all right. He starts to get up, but Josslyn tells him, wait a second. She calls Kim and Drew to come immediately. They run into Oscar’s room, and Kim asks, what’s going on? Oscar wants to get out of bed, and Drew goes for the wheelchair, but he says he doesn’t want it. He doesn’t need it. He gets up.

At the hospital, Josslyn asks if this means Oscar is going to be all right. Kim says they’re waiting for the test results. Josslyn wonders how it’s possible. Oscar was too sick to move, and now he got out of bed. Is it a miracle? Monica says there’s something called end-of-life phenomena, but it usually happens when patients are off of all medications and the natural balance returns. Some doctors thinks there’s a psychological and spiritual component. They can’t figure it out, but when it happens, usually the end is very near. Everyone hangs out in the waiting area. Josslyn says, he’s coming, and a nurse brings Oscar to them in a wheelchair. Drew asks if he’s okay, and Oscar says he is. Terry tells them that they put him through a series of tests and scans. She also consulted with her colleagues, and reviewed all the results.

Josslyn wonders what happened, and Drew asks if she didn’t hear; Oscar’s tumor shrunk. Josslyn says they have more time. Oscar asks Terry, how much time? Terry says he’s experienced spontaneous regression. The tumor’s not just smaller; it’s practically non-existent. There’s scar tissue, and a small tumor, but the tests indicate it’s benign. She’s never seen anything like this. That’s why it took so long. They wanted to make sure there was no error, but the results were always the same, Oscar confirms it, since his symptoms receded. Oscar says he feels great – hungry actually. He asks if he can get up, and Terry says, by all means. He gets out of the chair, and Kim hugs him. We all cry. Oscar tells Kim she can let go. He’s not going anywhere. Kim says he’s really not. Drew hugs Oscar next. He thanks Terry, and everyone hugs. Josslyn steps away to call Carly. Kim says, tell her Oscar’s had a miracle. Oscar’s tumor is gone. Drew tells Oscar, today is the first day of the rest of his life. What is he doing? Oscar says he feels like he has something to do. Josslyn comes back, and says she told Carly she had a surprise, but not what it was. She wants to see their faces. They’ll be blown away.

Josslyn and Oscar stand behind Carly and Sonny at the nursery window. Carly says she feels guilty, welcoming their baby into the world, when Kim and Drew are preparing to say goodbye to theirs. Josslyn says, no one is saying goodbye. Oscar is going to be okay. Sonny asks, what happened? Oscar has no idea, but he’s starting to understand why.

Josslyn tells Oscar, it’s not a mystery why he’s there; he’s not ready to go. Sonny says they’re glad he’s sticking around. He thanks them for being there; he put Josslyn through a lot. Josslyn says, it was worth it. Don’t do it to her again. He says, it’s over, and they can move on. Kim says she doesn’t want to let him out of her sight, and hugs him again. A woman points out her son to Kim, and Kim says she’s sorry she had to take a leave of absence, but glad she had a healthy boy. The woman says she doesn’t mean to pry, but is everything all right? Kim says she’ll be coming back now. She had to put things on hold.

Josslyn says she’ll be right back. Drew asks if Oscar is up for a celebration. Kim says he doesn’t have to if he’s tired. Oscar says don’t worry about him, but she says they always will. He tells them, a party sounds great. He and Josslyn meet outside, Oscar thanks Carly and Sonny for being so great to him, even when he didn’t deserve it, Carly says he cares about her daughter. That’s all she needs to know, but the tie and flowers helped. Oscar says when he realized who Sonny was, he was terrified. Sonny knows he came on strong; he was just being protective of Josslyn. Oscar says he made Sonny a promise that he’d never hurt her, but he didn’t keep his promise. He broke her heart. Sonny says, just treat her right. It was wrong of him to want Oscar to make that promise. In life, there’s no such thing as love without heartache. Carly says he’s right. Only when we care so much, can we be hurt so deeply. Oscar says he doesn’t want Josslyn’s heart to break again, but he’s glad they’ll be there for her if it does. Josslyn comes back, and Oscar says he’ll be there for her. He couldn’t say that yesterday. She’s brought the journal, and says they can finish filling the days. They missed a lot of plans. Josslyn says, that’s over now. She’s going to see what they have for today. Oscar says unless chocolate volcano at Charlie’s is written there, she doesn’t have to look it up.

They walk into Charlie’s, and everyone applauds. Julian can’t believe it. Kim can’t either, but Oscar is in remission. The film looks a little different, and I start to wonder if this is a dream. I swear, they’d better not rip my heart out with this. Julian asks Oscar when he’s coming back to work. Cameron says, it’s insane, but a good insane. Trina says, everyone at school will go crazy, and now Josslyn doesn’t have to miss so many classes. She won’t have to go to summer school. Josslyn says, no way was she leaving Oscar’s side. Ned tells everyone, grab a glass. He wants to propose s toast. Oscar says, if it’s all the same to Ned, he’d like to be the one to make a toast.

Oscar says, plenty of times he forgot to show appreciation, or that he cares. Sometimes, it seemed like the complete opposite. He regrets some things he said, and things he didn’t say, But the only thing that matters is how much he loves them. His life is awesome because they’re in it. Here’s to them. Now eat a chocolate volcano. Kim hugs him, and Drew gives him a fist bump. Oscar says they’re awesome, and he loves them. He ask what would have happened if he died. What would have happened to Drew, and his mom, and Josslyn? Drew doesn’t know, and doesn’t want to think about it anymore. Oscar says he’s been thinking about it for the past few days, and he wants to know they’ll be all right. Drew says, none of them would be okay without him, but Oscar says they’d have to move on, move forward, live their best life. Drew says, life moves on, but it’s a new day, and they’re doing fine. Nothing to worry about. Kim calls Oscar over, and he asks Drew to cover for him. He looks outside.

Oscar sees Carly and Sonny, who’s holding a baby. Carly says the baby is happier in Sonny’s arms than with anyone else. The baby inherited his ego. Sonny is a lot of good things, but he’s not modest. Oscar turns back, and sees Olivia put a lei on Monica. Olivia says, the whole island smells like this. You can’t help but relax. She and Ned want to go back, and they’re taking her with them. Kim is showing some people a ring, and Terry says, she had no idea Julian was going to propose? Kim says, he’s not only romantic, but good at keeping a secret.

Oscar sees Cameron, Trina, and Josslyn in graduations caps and gowns. Trina says, class of ’21 forever. Cameron says they have the whole summer, and Josslyn says, it’s the last one before college. Let’s make it count. A guy, also a graduate, ask if she’s ready, and takes her hand. They leave Charlie’s, and I look at my heart on the floor.

Cameron tells Oscar that he just wants say he’s sorry for not visiting as much as he could when Oscar was in the hospital. He was afraid to see Oscar die. He couldn’t face it. Oscar says they all have to face it some time. He says Cameron came though when Oscar needed him most. He’s sorry for using Cameron to push Josslyn away. Cameron says Oscar already apologized, but Oscar says he didn’t thank Cameron enough for being a friend, a good friend, a real friend. The kind that was there when Oscar needed him, and he’ll be there for Josslyn if she needs him. Josslyn joins them, asking, what’s up? Cameron wishes he could tell her. Josslyn asks Oscar what he wants to do tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. Oscar sees Lila and Edward holding hands. He tells Josslyn that he’s sorry, but he needs to go home now.

This is just mean, and I’m actually a little pissed off. An alien came to Port Charles years ago, why couldn’t Oscar have gotten a miracle?

Kim tells Julian about hearing Oscar practicing guitar. It was a beautiful melody, and he said he’d written it himself. Drew tells sonny about climbing a mountain, and getting out of breath at the top. Oscar saw him, and said at least there’s no one else there. Terry tells Elizabeth that getting to know the family has been a privilege. Oscar is special. Monica says Oscar took the family name. Drew says he did too. Trina tells Cameron that she got her license, so she can drive if they want to go on another road trip. Boys in the front; girls in the back. Josslyn tells Oscar they were supposed to watch the stars tonight, and they go outside.

Josslyn says, it’s too early. It’s too light out; they can’t see the stars. Oscar says it’s later than she thinks. She says he must be tired, and he says he’s done all he can for tonight. She doesn’t understand, and he says he knows why he was given this time. He didn’t want to go. He kept hearing them tell him to hang on and stay, but as long as he waited, everyone else waited in a kind of limbo. No one can move forward. Josslyn says, no one wanted to move forward without him. He says he needs to be the one to let go. Carly and Sonny need to share their joy about the baby. His mom should be helping families bring children into the world. His dad should be climbing mountains, and living his life, and Josslyn should be living hers. His life has been full. He’s had more happiness than some people do in a lifetime. He loves her so much. She says she loves him too. He says it’s someone else’s turn to find out what they’re meant to find. He’s ready to go home. He kisses her.

Lila and Edward walk out of Charlie’s. Oscar looks at them.

We’re back to the beginning. As Josslyn reads, she falls asleep, and the book drops. Oscar opens his eyes, and looks at her.

Sonny asks if Carly is ready to tear herself away from the nursery. She says she is. New life is such a miracle. Terry asks Elizabeth if she can have a raincheck on the drink. Elizabeth says as long as they do it soon. She did everything she could for Oscar. Terry knows, but thanks her for saying it.

Cameron types. Trina asks if he’s finished, and he asks if she wants onion rings. He gets up, and she looks at his laptop. She reads, I have a friend who was willing to push the girl he loves away. Not to keep from getting hurt, but to put someone else’s good ahead of his own. Cameron isn’t sure he’s got it in him, but that’s the kind of friend he wants to be. At the counter, he orders onion rings, but changes it to a chocolate volcano. Julian says, Oscar’s favorite.

Ned tells Monica, enough time with ghosts for one night. He suggests they go back to the house, and she says, good idea. She’s hoping she has a few years left, but when her time comes, it’s going to be one hell of a reunion. She tells them, goodnight. Her darling son, AJ; her love, Alan; Edward, the old grouch, and Lila, sweet Lila. She touches Lila’s plaque, and says, happy birthday.

Olivia looks at the pictures. She says, Lila and Edward, what a beautiful family you’ve made.

Drew and Kim sit on the steps, leaning on each other.

Oscar sees Lila, and closes his eyes.

Kim jerks up. She asks if Drew felt that.

Oscar gets up, leaving his body behind. He kisses Josslyn’s cheek, and touches her hair. He says he loves her, and tells her it’s going to be all right. He stands between Lila and Edward. Josslyn touches her cheek. She looks at Oscar in the bed, and we hear a song about goodbyes.

Tomorrow, Franco asks Cameron to hear him out, Shiloh says he spoke to Willow’s mother, and Drew tells Kim they have to be strong.

Two reasons why I didn’t think this was real early on. The film was different; they used a softer lens, and time moved too fast. It takes two days for people to say hello on a soap. The plot never moves along as quickly as it did here. I’ll say it again, this was mean. Wonderfully written, but heart wrenching, and a surprise. I started tearing up when I was editing.

The Real Housewives of New York City

The best I can say is, I like this bunch better than Beverly Hills right now.

Bethenny gets in the limo, and driver Albi says it starts at 9:30. In her interview, Bethenny tells us that her divorce/custody battle still rages on. It’s really bad. She tells Albi that she has a contract that stipulates she can get fired if she does pretty much anything. Albi says she doesn’t have time to drink water. He sees a paparazzi. Bethenny wants to play a game with them, but Albi says, to get in, she has to go right in front of him. Albi uses an umbrella to shield her from the rain and the pap, one sad, wet dude.

Jill brings her dog Bossy along to play tennis with LuAnn. In her interview, LuAnn says Jill dealt with Bobby’s death, while she was dealing with her brush with the law, and they commiserated. LuAnn tells Jill that she needs some exercise, and they’ll catch up after. LuAnn is going national with her show, and says she’s going to be on huge stages the greats have played on. They both stink at tennis, but get better as they play. Poor Bossy nearly gets beaned by a ball, and Jill wisely puts him under a bench. LuAnn says to him, it’s the equivalent of a flying saucer.

After their game, or whatever that was, they sit on a bench. Jill asks how LuAnn is handling the nightclub situation. Luann says she can handle people drinking, but doesn’t like sloppy. Jill doesn’t drink. She thinks she’s allergic to alcohol; it makes her tired. LuAnn says she’s a different kind of alcoholic. Most people wouldn’t consider her to be one. Therein lies the crux of LuAnn’s problem – she still thinks she’s different. She says she has fun, but doesn’t get too crazy, forgetting that pesky Palm Beach incident. Then she tells Jill, one drink throws her off, negating what she just said before that. A doctor she knows well said she’s not pretty when she drinks; her face changes. She looked at pictures of herself, and saw a face she didn’t like. In LuAnn’s interview, she says issues were magnified when she was drinking. She now has a more positive outlook, and she’s happier. Doing cabaret involves being around liquor, but she takes it one day at a time. Jill says she’s been seeing someone. She feels the energy when she and new guy are together. LuAnn is glad she’s moving on. Jill says she misses Bobby, but a psychic told her he’d said she shouldn’t be alone. So he sent her a nice Jewish boy.

Bethenny gets back in the car, and tells herself to take a deep breath. She says she doesn’t realize how she feels until she gets out. In her interview, she says it’s been a long, drawn out process. She wants to get past this negative situation, but doesn’t know when the end is. She tells Albi that she needs a break. She’s been thinking about selling the company. She calls Brent, the president of BB Endeavors. She tells him there were a lot of things she didn’t count on, like a nasty divorce and custody battle. In Bethenny’s interview, she says she’s been approached by several people interested in buying the SkinnyGirl brand. She’s not looking to exit, but just take the pressure off. She feels like she needs to think, breathe, and get a different engine going, so it’s not falling on her. She tells Brent, it’s too much.

Tinsley and Dale go to lunch. Dale asks if it’s a mimosa Sunday, telling Tinsley, for her, this is a vacation. In her interview, Tinsley says her mother comes to the city to get her hair done. Of course she’d be there for Tinsley’s circus performance. Tinsley is excited, but nervous. Dale says Tinsley’s dad is watching proudly. In Tinsley’s interview, she says, for all excitement, she was really hoping to keep her emotions level and in check. Dale thinks it didn’t register when her dad died. Tinsley has a lot of emotions, and this would be a happy, sharing-with-dad moment. In Dale’s interview, she believes Tinsley is upset because her dad didn’t exhibit alcoholic behavior when she was growing up. (FYI, I changed her words. What she said was, Tinsley’s dad wasn’t an alcoholic, but you don’t just suddenly become one at age 50.) Dale tells us that he suddenly got sick, and Tinsley sees it as a personal betrayal. The rest of them have forgiven him, but Tinsley is still angry. Dale ask how it’s going with Scott. Tinsley says Scott tells her that he’s proud of her, but on one side, he seems supportive, and on the other, he sees a lack of control. He’s afraid the public person will leave him. Dale says, if they’re finished, she should move on. She doesn’t think Tinsley felt secure with him. In her interview, Dale says Tinsley would go to Chicago, and it was never anything major, but some little thing would happen, and they’d be done. She tells Tinsley, a million other guys think she’s fabulous (WOTD). Tinsley says Scott does think she’s fabulous, but a part of him thinks he can’t do it. Dale says the problem with Scott is that he won’t let go, but he won’t take her either. Tinsley says he texted her about how he went back and forth with the ring guy. He was legit looking. Dale says, but he didn’t do it. He didn’t give it to her. Dale thinks it’s time to move on.

Dorinda and Sonja discuss The Hustle, which they’ve just seen. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she and Sonja are getting along great. They’re good with one on one, so when she got advance tickets to the movie, she decided to take Sonja. Afterward, they go to lunch. Dorinda says she loved the main characters’ relationship. You’d think they wouldn’t get along; they’re so different. Sonja says, like their cuckoo group. Dorinda says when Anne Hathaway played the damsel in distress, it reminded her of Tinsley. She finds it weird. Tinsley can’t even call Scott, the guy promising her a ring, and the next day, they’re broken up. Sonja says she seems great; fresh as a daisy, and not a stress line on her forehead. In her interview, Dorinda thinks all the breaking up Tinsley and Scott have done sends a message. And the message is, get out. Sonja says Tinsley holds her cards close to her chest, and Dorinda says it seems like more of an arrangement. Sonja’s not judging, but if it turns into the same thing as the last guy, that’s no good. She wants Tinsley to have integrity and respect in a relationship. Dorinda says Tinsley thinks they don’t have her back, but they do. In Sonja’s interview, she says she doesn’t think being married or having children will make Tinsley happy. She needs to work on herself. If they’re just taking a break or breaking up, it’s better for Tinsley. Dorinda says, Tinsley deserves a happy, healthy, and respectful relationship.

Oddly enough (not really), a commercial for The Hustle follows this scene.

Ramona and Barbara go shopping. In Ramona’s interview, she says she’s not putting it off any longer. She can’t stand how Barbara is dressing. She needs to step up her game. Stylist Taylor greets them. Barbara says she wants to be cool, edgy, and fun. Rock and roll is her vibe, even though she’s the CEO of a company. Ramona gives her some champagne. Barbara models some clothing, and Ramona thinks she looks fantastic. Barbara explains that her mother has no filter, and can make her feel horrible but has the best intentions. She thinks she should learn to appreciate Ramona’s delivery. Ramona admits she needs to soften her mouth. I guess shutting it isn’t an option. In Ramona’s interview, she says her father was like that, and it’s not a good attribute. They discuss the female alternative to bromance, and come up with homance.

LuAnn rehearses at a hotel in midtown. She and Sonja are hosting the biggest Halloween party in NYC, and they’re doing a video to promote ticket sales. The choreographer says they have a few more rehearsals, and suggests LuAnn check out the space.

While they’re hanging out at the bar, Sonja tells Barbara the phot shoot is going to reflect what the party is going to be about. LuAnn tells Sonja the costume guy brought the costumes for the video. They go upstairs, where sexy nurse outfits, and odd medical accessories are laid out. LuAnn says it’s going to be the sickest Halloween party ever. In LuAnn’s interview, she says being on stage keeps her from the temptation of drinking. She’s professional with what she does. In her interview, LuAnn says the nurse’s outfit is different from the one she wore when she was being a real nurse, but not much different from ones she’s put on in the bedroom. Sonja and LuAnn pose, and the photographer takes a bunch of photos.

At BB Endeavors, Bethenny tells her staff that she just had a facial, and her skin is the worst it’s been in ten years. It’s stress. In her interview, she says she’s had multiple offers to buy SkinnyGirl. She’s open to moving around pieces on the board. She asks if the numbers look good. Brent is happy they didn’t sell to the other guy. Bethenny says she’s selling half, and will still have creative control and be the face of the brand. In Bethenny’s interview, she says she made the right moves, but you get protective. Brent says the buyer has confidence that he can do better, but he thinks they’d be hesitant to play against the other offer. Both parties collaborate, but both want her company for themselves. In her interview, Bethenny says she still feels like a young girl struggling. We flash back to her hawking samples in Costco. She has to decide what the dynamic is going to be. She wants to take the pressure off; she can’t live like this. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to be rushing through this, just so she can rush to something else. She wants the deal happen fast.

Tinsley gets her makeup done for the kiki before the circus. In her interview, she says, the ringmaster has arrived.  Dale is there already, and the women begin to arrive. Dorinda tells John that she did the trapeze, and he asks if she has proof. Tinsley confirms it, and says she wouldn’t have been able to it if Dorinda hadn’t gone first. In Dorinda’s interview, she says Tinsley seems nervous, but in a good way. It’s a good distraction, and she’s branching out. Sonja asks, what is it about the circus that brings men out? I’m not sure of that answer, nor am I sure that it’s true. Tinsley goes back to change. Dorinda thinks she didn’t realize she was at a standstill. Sonja says Tinsley is light as a feather now. Dorinda says she’s taking control of her life, and back in the driver’s seat.

Tinsley has problems with her microphone staying in place. She says she’s nervous enough, and now she has to hold her mic. She’s freaking out. She guzzles some wine, and practices her two lines. She literally drops the mic on her way to the stage.

Tinsley is introduced, and comes down on the lyra hoop. She introduces herself, and welcomes the crowd to the circus. She says, on with the show, and Dorinda says she did an incredible job. Sonja asks if they have to stay. In her interview, Dorinda says she thought it would be more elaborate. That makes two of us. She says she would have been great at it. Tinsley sits with women, saying she was nervous, but now she can enjoy the show and have 500 glasses of wine. A guy brings them drinks. They watch an acrobat couple, and Dale compares them to Tinsley and Scott. Brilliant move. Tinsley says, clearly not. There’s obviously a bit of a competitive thing with Dale, like Mama Dee with D’Andra. I don’t know if it’s a Southern thing, a rich thing, or a rich Southern thing. Ramona has a date, and leaves. In Dorinda’s interview, she says Ramona can’t help herself. Something always looks better. Ramona doesn’t see what the big deal is. Dorinda asks for more wine.

A guy plucks Sonja out of the audience for his act. They pretend to be on a roller coaster, and Sonja does somersaults. In Sonja’s interview, she says she might be out of practice in the bedroom, but that doesn’t mean she can’t perform when it counts. Tinsley says, it’s shocking. Sonja had no idea what they were about to do, and still killed it. She can’t do that. Me neither. In her interview, Dale says, Sonja was made for the circus, and points out that Sonja’s part was longer than Tinsley’s, but she’s proud of Tinsley. Whether this is the longest circus ever, or Tinsley is chugging a lot of wine quickly, I’m not sure, but she downs quite a few glasses. She gooses one of the acrobats that gets too close. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, champagne and tight trapeze outfits are not a good combination. It’s time to go home before something bad happens.

Dale tells Tinsley that she was fabulous, and her dad would be proud. Tinsley feels like Dale thinks she didn’t do a good job. She always feels like she needs Dale’s approval, and doesn’t know why. Dale says Tinsley is forty-three, and Tinsley says she feels like an idiot. Dale says Tinsley has her approval; she was fabulous. Tinsley says she wasn’t that good. She’s emotional right now, and does nothing good enough. Dale says this is about Tinsley’s boyfriend, not her. In her interview, it’s not lost on Tinsley that she’s wearing a big bow, and something she would have loved as a little girl. She couldn’t be more depressed or sadder. She starts crying, and Dale asks why she’s sad. Tinsley says she’s doing things she should be happy about, but she’s not. She’s miserable. She pulls the bow out of her hair, having a Baby Jane moment. Dale thinks she should be finished with the Scott thing, and move on. Tinsley says she worked hard, and wants to share it with someone other than her mother. Dale tells her to stop looking at the negative. She was asked to be in this. In Dale’s interview, she says if Scott had wanted to come, he would have come to watch her, but he didn’t. Move on. Dale tells Tinsley, because of her age, she is feels like she’s wasted her time, but she’s learned something. Tinsley says it meant a lot to her, but it would have been nice if he was here and could share it, but he couldn’t do it. In her interview, Tinsley says if she can feel sad in a big bow, a poufy dress, and glittery tights, that means she’s really sad. She’s not in a good place. Personally, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Dale says, people have horrible things happen to them, and that’s not her. Tell God thank you for the situation she’s in. She’ll handle it, and she’s good. Tinsley says she doesn’t feel okay right now. Dale holds her, and says Tinsley will always be her little girl.

Next time, the Halloween party, Bethenny says LuAnn has delusions of grandeur, and Sonja tells Dorinda to clip!

👓 Not Lala’s Month…

As long as 50 Cent spells your name right

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/04/vpr-star-lala-kent-called-hoe-by-50-cent/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/04/vpr-star-lala-kents-fiance-hospitalized-feud-50-cent/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

https://www.eonline.com/news/1037055/is-there-trouble-in-paradise-for-vanderpump-rules-star-lala-kent-and-fiance-randall-emmett?source=email&medium=emn-content-2&cmpid=morning-a&content=emn-news

💍 Apparently, Steve Put a Ring On It…

And the skinny on Vicki’s friend/wife status.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/04/vicki-gunvalson-celebrates-engagement-dinner-daughter-briana/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

😒 One Reason Not To Watch Atlanta…

Fat shaming a pregnant woman? Genius PR move.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/04/porsha-williams-claims-nene-leakes-sent-her-cease-letter/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

❓ Three Questions…

On Watch What Happens Live, why does Andy have three things he’s obsessed with, but he only lists one or two?

💃 Mexican Dynasties said adios for the season. Menudo Adan sang in public, and managed to stay in his range of eight notes.

🎵 And On That Note…

Both to almost the weekend and through tax month. Tra-la. It’s May.

 

 

December 18, 2016 – Vintage Christmas Holly Jollies, a Little Atlanta & a Small Dose of Medicine

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Now for Something Completely Different

While there are some Sunday night shows I’m watching, like The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Married to Medicine (see below), nothing is happening with the shows I’m blogging, so I thought I’d share a little Christmas humor.

In 1979, I was young, single, and living in NYC. I still went home for Christmas though, and a friend of mine stayed at my apartment in Manhattan that year to babysit my cat, Eric. (So named after Monty Python‘s Eric the Cat.) When I got back, I found this note. In explanation, my railroad flat was once a hotel room and had a decorative fireplace. And be forewarned, there are curse words ahead.

Christmas Eve, 1979

Dear Theresa,

Well, I was here! Where the hell were you?

After all the trouble I had getting here, too. Do you realize how goddamn hard it is to guide 8 reindeer through New York City? They all want to stop and look at the tall buildings and buy pretzels. They all bugged the hell out of me, trying to con me into taking them to Radio City.

Then, trying to land on that goddamn filthy roof of yours. Doesn’t anybody clean around here? There was so much fuckin’ pigeon shit around, Dancer slipped and almost ended up as flying venison.

Then I struggle and squeeze, and damn near burst my spleen trying to get down the chimney. I finally make it through – and you bricked up the fuckin’ fireplace!

I had to climb all the way back up to the roof, walk down the fire escape and get in through the front door. (If Jane didn’t leave your key for me – I wouldn’t have even gotten in!)

And then, do you think I could go up in the elevator? Oh no! I had to trudge up those cruddy stairs. Four whole flights I walked!

So I get in, finally. And where are you? Gone. I don’t even get the satisfaction of sneaking around so you don’t wake up. It’s the best part of being Santa Claus, goddamn it, and I couldn’t. If it weren’t for your crazy cat sleeping in the sink, it would have been a total loss.

By the way – do you know your cat is fencing stolen goods? I found a whole mess of TVs and stereos… well, never mind.

And the topper of it all. The thing that really, really burns me up is that you didn’t even leave me a goddamn glass of milk and a few lousy cookies! Nothing! I open the fridge and – nada! Not even a lousy j!

Thanks a heap, Theresa.

All in all, you really fucked me over, and don’t think I’m gonna forget it!

Santa Claus

P.S. Just stopped by on my way back from Ohio. So there you were! OK, all’s forgiven. But next time, drop me a note if you aren’t going to be in. You know my address. Merry Christmas.

SC

🎅 Wherever you are, Jane Lindberg, you’re still making me laugh after almost 40 years.

👒 A quick note on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kenya and Matt’s relationship seems to have taken a nosedive, which I find sad, since it looked like she’d found the right guy. Unfortunately, he’s shown a somewhat violent temper, and broke one of her garage door windows during an argument. Not a good sign. It’s hard to tell if they’ll end up working things out. I think it depends on whether or not Matt is willing to go to some kind of counseling. Kenya’s father has been a real champ though, supporting her all the way, and even trying to talk to Matt himself.

Phaedra is still the same self-righteous a-hole. There’s no way I could be friends with her. She has to be the phoniest member of the Housewives franchise, and that’s saying a lot. If you look up “two-faced” in the dictionary, her picture is there. Porsha has a new old boyfriend, whom she dated years ago. She decides to bring him to a family dinner, where he’s barraged with questions about his “intentions.” Even Jesus gets an earful during grace.

I often get distracted by the outfits on this show. Especially when Phaedra wears some kind of poufy thing. Or a hat. I was twice as distracted tonight, when Phaedra and Kandi met for a disastrous lunch. Kandi called Phaedra out for everything she’d ever done since the earth cooled, and Phaedra pretended she had no idea what Kandi was talking about, and Kandi must be crazy. But I digress from my digression. Kandi was wearing a gorgeous, but busy, off-the-shoulder dress, in a humongous floral pattern, and Phaedra was wearing some white concoction that I kept trying to figure out. I don’t know how I was supposed to concentrate on the conversation. All I know is, it didn’t end well.

🚑 As for Married to Medicine, this one is like watching a train wreck for me. You’d think that a group of women who are doctors and/or married to doctors would be somewhat mature, but no. However, it’s flabbergasting to see how incredibly childish they are. Hats off to Dr. Jackie, often the only voice of reason. She finally blew a gasket last week, while doing a nude photo shoot for breast cancer awareness. She’d invited the girls along for support, but they couldn’t stop their loud, petty quarreling for five minutes, and she had to kick them out. It’s a shame that a show that could have so much going for it, frequently reduces itself to Jersey Shore status. I’d also love to know where they find these people. What are the odds of a medical maven also being the first to start a bar brawl? That’s not to say the ladies are one-dimensional – this season’s storyline about Simone’s missing father is heart-wrenching – but they’re not kids and need to learn when to put a lid on it.

November 7, 2016 – Morgan’s Death Poses a Mystery, Vanderpump Rules Again, the OC’s Reunion Claws Come Out & an Atlanta Mention

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

We go back to Jason grilling Pete, and Pete falling to the ground after a shot is fired from somewhere. Jason calls 911. He goes through Pete’s pockets and takes his phone. Curtis appears, saying that’s one way to get rid of evidence. Jason says for all he knows, Curtis is the shooter. Curtis says he has the best alibi in the world, having just gotten his ass handed to him by Jordan. He says Jason was just talking with the only person who could implicate Sonny and now he’s dead.

Carly visits Sonny. She tells him that she found something important. She gives Sonny Morgan’s journal. She shows him how Morgan kept track of taking his medication. Sonny says something isn’t right. Morgan’s handwriting starts to become sloppy, and his thoughts are disjointed. Carly says there must have been something wrong with the medication.

Ava gets a text that someone (the caller ID says “Blocked”) knows what she did to Morgan. Lucy startles her and she says there must be another alleyway she’d like to skulk in. Ava says she’s meeting someone. Lucy says what a coincidence; she’s meeting someone too. Right now. She tells Ava that she saw her and knows what she did to Morgan.

Elizabeth has to ask Franco for a favor. She tells him that he’s inspired her, and she signed up for an art class. She shows him her sketch portfolio, and he says they’re really good. She’s very excited, and wants to make sure she stays in pace with the class. She wants Franco to pose for her.

Lulu shows Dante chocolate hand prints on the shirt that Maxie had to call in favors to get for her. She tells him if he’s going to get “his” son hopped up on sugar, at least teach him to wash his hands. Actually, if she wears that in Manhattan tomorrow, everyone will want one by next week.

Griff tells Valentin to stay away from his daughter. Valentin says it’s a misunderstanding, and Charlotte is his daughter.

Curtis tells Jordan if he’s rolling in the gutter, he’s in good company because she’s there with him. She starts to slap him, but he blocks her hand. Andre comes in and Curtis walks out.

Dante pours some wine for himself and Lulu. She says she was disappointed about not having another baby, but she’s over it. Whenever she sees Rocco, she knows how blessed they are. They have their son and each other. She can’t imagine how Sonny and Carly feel right now.

Griff says Charlotte is his daughter, and Valentin says they’ll see. Griff goes back to the table and Anna gives him the paper. Uh-oh. The look on his face isn’t happy. I had the feeling that Valentin was really Charlotte’s father a while ago.

Ava tells Lucy she’s nuts, and Lucy says that Ava is so busted. Lucy says she was in the neighborhood brokering a sale. She looked over and saw Ava and thought something didn’t add up. She wondered what Ava was throwing away. (I forgot about that!) She says that Ava looked guilty as hell while she looked for a trash can, and she just had to know. Imagine her surprise finding medication that belonged to Morgan.

Carly goes through the journal with Sonny. Sonny says it’s normal to go up and down, but not spiral. She shows him an entry about Bobbie’s birthday and another when he stopped himself from popping the guy who bothered Kiki. She says after that, something changes, and he’s obviously depressed. Sonny says he was manic, and she points out that every day he took his pills. She wonders why they weren’t working. Sonny insists he must have stopped taking them.

Jason talks to the cops, telling them he was talking to Pete when he got shot. He says he didn’t know Pete personally, but he used to work for Julian.

Jordan gives a condensed explanation of her conversation with Curtis to Andre. She says they share a lot of history. It’s scratchy at best and painful at worst, and Curtis knows how to push her buttons. Andre says he finds Curtis irritating. He was hoping to steal Jordan away for a quiet dinner. He says he’s going to attend Morgan’s funeral, and there’s a chance that Sonny, Carly, or both will unload on him. Jordan says she’d dreading it, but it’s a necessary evil. He says offering condolences while searching for evidence might seem hypocritical and Jordan says not to call her a hypocrite.

Franco asks if she’s going to share the drawing with her class. Dhe says they critique each other, and asks if he’s shy. He says in the art world, he’s a controversial figure, and the students might know they’re in a relationship if she shows them the sketch. He asks if she’s okay with that.

There’s no DNA match with Charlotte and Griff. Anna says she’s sorry. She says Claudette was obviously trying to protect Charlotte. Valentin approaches, and Charlotte runs to him. He tells her he’s happy to see her. He says he missed her, and she says she missed him too. Anna suggests she work on her drawing while they have an adult conversation. Valentin shows them Charlotte’s birth certificate. He says even though he wasn’t married to Claudette, he wanted Charlotte to have his last name.

Lulu and Dante eat Rocco’s Halloween candy. Lulu says to imagine dealing with the tantrum when Rocco realizes it’s gone. Dante gives her a piece of candy and she unwraps her old engagement ring. He says he wanted to get her another one, but he knows how she is about recycling. She says she doesn’t want another one. He asks her to marry him again.

Elizabeth says it’s okay with her if the class knows they’re in a relationship. Franco asks if she has any spray tan, but she says he can keep his clothes on. She wants to do a portrait. He asks why she was worried to ask him. She says in some ways a portrait is more intimate, and conveys the subject’s innermost thoughts. He says he trusts her even with those.

Jason and Curtis discuss the case. Curtis threatens to tell the cops about Jason taking the phone. Jason doesn’t care. Curtis says he’ll keep his mouth shut if he can look at it.

Lucy tells Ava that she found the lithium prescribed to Morgan. She says Ava took up with Morgan again, and maybe she’s the reason he was in the car. She says that Ava was tossing the evidence, and good luck convincing Carly and Sonny that she wasn’t. She asks what Ava thinks they’d say.

Carly tells Sonny that Morgan had written in a check mark for every day he took his medication. Sonny says that’s no proof. She says Morgan didn’t understand why it wasn’t working. Sonny says maybe he was covering his ass in case somebody read it, but Carly says it was private; there was no reason not to be truthful. Sonny says he’s going to check the medication and goes upstairs. Carly sees the envelope with her name on it. Sonny comes back downstairs and she asks him what’s up with the it.

Anna tells Valentin a birth certificate could be faked. Valentin pokes himself, drawing blood, and gives it to her on a napkin. This guy doesn’t fool around. He says he’s sure Charlotte will be safe with her in the meantime. he apologizes to Griff for the whole thing, and Griff gets testy. Anna says back into your corners until the test is done.

Lulu talks about how she and Dante found their way back to each other. She says even when she was steaming mad at him, she loved him. She tells him that she’ll marry him. Even though they’re already married. They kiss.

Franco poses as Elizabeth draws. He keeps talking and she keeps telling him to shut up. He gets up to look, and she says she knows it’s not good. He tells her she’s hot when she’s wrong, and that it shows vision and intent and boldness. She says she wishes she was bold in her life, and he tells her that she is.

Jordan says she’s tired of people making assumptions; she has a job to do. Andre says he was just kidding, and he hopes she finds something to close the case. She apologizes for overreacting. She says Curtis got to her, and she should know better. Andre says Curtis has an agenda every time he crosses her path, and he doesn’t like how Curtis makes her question herself. She says isn’t it true that only she can make herself feel a certain way? He says he’s not her doctor, but he thinks she’s cool and they kiss.

Ava tells Lucy not to do it, and Lucy says give her one good reason. She says Ava took off with Morgan, and this time it lead to his death.

Sonny blows off the envelope and tells Carly that the lithum is missing. Carly says that was the most important drug he was on.

Franco (who I almost called Todd) is getting antsy. Elizabeth puts her sketch pad down and moves to the couch.

Curtis looks through Pete’s phone. He wonders if any of the numbers are Sonny’s. The cops talk to Jason, and Curtis thinks about calling Jordan.

Andre tells Jordan that even a superwoman needs sustenance, and he wants to take her to a new Thai place. She leaves to get her stuff, and Curtis calls her phone.

Ava tells Lucy she can’t tell them; she’ll only hurt them more. She says they should remember the good times, and not be questioning Morgan’s behavior. She tells Lucy that Kiki is barely getting through, and it could destroy her. Lucy says she should have thought of that before. Ava asks how Lucy would like it if someone hurt her daughter this way.

Carly tells Sonny that it doesn’t make sense. Why carry a whole bottle? Sonny says if Morgan thought it wasn’t working, maybe he threw them away. Carly asks why keep one bottle and not the other?

Anna tells Griff that no matter what, the priority is protecting Charlotte. Valentin leaves.

Lulu admires her engagement ring and says it’s nice to have it back where it belongs. Dante says he was a little worried that she’d turn him down. They kiss some more.

Ditto Elizabeth and Franco.

Curtis starts to leave a message for Jordan, but Andre picks up the phone. He tells Curtis that the best thing he can do for Jordan and himself is to leave her alone.

The cop asks if Jason saw Pete get shot. He says nothing is missing, so they’re ruling out robbery, but wonders about the cell phone. Jason says it will turn up somewhere. I guess it doesn’t occur to Officer Barney Fife that a guy who worked for Julian could have been killed for his phone.

Lucy tells Ava that she won’t squeal about her tossing the meds, but she’s hanging onto the pills for safekeeping. Ava asks if she’s going to use them for blackmail, and Lucy says she hadn’t thought of that, but thanks. Lucy tells Ava that maybe she should consider coming clean, since someone else night have seen her.

Carly tells Sonny something feels off. Sonny says if Morgan thought the meds weren’t working, its the one he would have tossed. Carly says something is missing. Sonny says the medication isn’t why Morgan died. Carly puts on her coat. She says she can leave the journal, but he tells her to take it. She says Morgan loved them – it’s on every page – and wanted badly to make them proud. They should have done better, making sure he knew how much they loved him. Sonny tells her she’s a great mom and never failed. She says she did, but it’s too late because he’s gone. She leaves and Sonny is alone again.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth asks Franco to go upstairs, Diane tells Alexis that Valentin owns the estate, and Finn catches Brad in his lab. (Yay! Brad is back!)

Vanderpump Rules

Giggy! Why does Kristen look like she’s going to throw up in the opening credits?

Arghhh! Tom S. has a man bun. Things are hopping at SUR. Britney is now working there and it looks like that’s working Jax’s last nerve. He feels like his world has closed in. Please.

Scheana and Lala are at odds again, but Scheana is feeling like the rest of them are all working well together. Katie thinks Britney is fitting in, and it’s a better job for her than Hooters. Well, let’s hope the tips are bigger.

Lala has a small part in a Nicholas Cage film. In her interview, she talks about starring in her own porn film, and tries to make the title a play on words, failing miserably. Katie is trying to keep Lala and James out of her life, since they tried to ruin her engagement party. Britney discovers that the girls can’t talk and text at the same time. Peter has gotten a shave and a haircut and looks totally different. I’m not sure I like it.

Kristen is dating a new dude named Carter. She’s happy, since she doesn’t have to pay his bills. Kristen thinks she should wear a fake engagement ring when she goes out, but Stassi suggests that she wants to convince people she’s not a psycho.

Lisa is happy with James’s behavior. He’s been keeping his drinking and temper under control. Since his father moved back to London recently, she’s concerned that he’s going to get emotional and start drinking again. We flash back to some of James’s finer moments in alcoholism.

Jax talks about coming home to Britney and Kristen kissing, and not on the mouth. Tom says there’s no lack of bi-curious Southern girls in West Hollywood, but wonders why those two had to get together. He calls it the LA handshake. Really? This group never ceases to amaze me with their shallowness and lack of ambition. I don’t know if it’s the time period or the coast, but when I was their age, my friends and I were much further along in life. And a billion times smarter.

Lisa tells Jax how well Britney is doing at the restaurant. He agrees, but wishes they weren’t on the same schedule. Tom tells Lisa about Kristen and Britney, and Lisa thinks it’s bizarre even in their world. Jax says something about karma, but Tom says if karma was a real thing, Jax would be dead by now.

The gang gathers at Skybar for the OK! Magazine party. Schwartz feels like there’s a vagina mafia going on where he can’t voice an honest opinion. Kristen is annoyed at Jax for broadcasting things about her and Britney. She talks about how she’s made out with all of the girls. When Britney gets there, she insists it was nothing but kissing, and tells Jax to knock it off. In her interview, Britney talks about moving all the way from Kentucky and missing family and friends, and how she can’t imagine life without this group of girls now. I feel sorry for her if this is the best friend group she can get.

Tom tells Ariana about Kristen and Britney. Ariana says you can’t go to sleep around Kristen or that’s what might happen. She and Tom get ready for the party in the ladies room at SUR.

Schwartz is happy that Jax and Stassi are getting along. Jax says they’ll never be besties, but they have a rapport, and I’m surprised he knows what that means. He tells Stassi about Britney and Kristen. I’m already tired of this story. James and Lala show up. Lala says they always roll as a pair. They finally had sex and are over it, but they’re best friends now. For now.

They try to join the others, and Katie tells them they’re not at the table. James hovers around, taking their liquor. Katie tells Lala it’s not normal to want to hang out with people you’ve been talking smack about. Jax won’t even shake James’s hand, telling them to move along to another table. Lala says no one has been working on their summer bodies and James rudely asks Katie if she’s pregnant. Scheana smacks the glass out of his hand and tells him to get the blip out.

They leave, and Jax takes off after James. This didn’t take long at all. We’re only 23 minutes into the program. Jax doesn’t care if he goes to jail; he just wants to hit James. Stassi thinks Lala and James are aliens who have shape-shifted into humans. I hadn’t thought about that; maybe she’s right. Tom and Ariana arrive, and immediately get the news about the two idiots name calling everyone. Ariana says she just saw them, and they gave no indication of being antagonistic. Schwartz says they’re acquaintances and not friends, so who cares? Katie is annoyed at him for not being supportive. Translation: not wanting to kill them.

James is drunk already, and drinks to Schwartz and Katie. In his interview, Schwartz is tired of Katie expecting him to inherit her grudges, and says she’s backslid since Stassi came back. Tom goes over to James and asks wtf? He says James’s biggest enemy is himself and everyone knows how to push his buttons. Tom says he would have smacked James’s drink out of his hand too. He tells James that he’s like a Tourettes of insults. OMG – is that a pipe cleaner shaping Tom’s man bun? James keeps trying to justify everything. Tom says his parents are divorced too, but he doesn’t use it as an excuse to be a d-bag. James says he thought that his parents were going to get back together and starts crying. For the second time – please.

Katie tells Ariana she has a friend who’s passed along the information that Lala has a sugar daddy who’s married with kids. Ariana says she’ll treat it as a rumor until she knows for sure. Ariana goes over to Lala and says she cares about her. Lala is drunk already too, and basically makes no sense. She says she’s done and starts crying, saying it’s not what she came here for and walks away. If this isn’t what she came here for, why did she start it?

Katie isn’t thrilled with Ariana being friends with Lala. Tom and Ariana leave because Tom can’t deal.

Katie visits Lisa to talk about being her assistant. Lisa wants to start with her working six hours a day. In her interview, Lisa says Katie has been an exemplary employee, and she could use some help. Katie tells her about Lala and James calling her fat, and lets slip that Lala’s boyfriend has a wife and children. She tells Lisa how disgusting James was. She says she’s made a lot of allowances because of his parents and Max, but he’s pushing boundaries.

Jax and Britney have a new place since the studio got kind of tight. They talk about James and Lala. Jax says he’s never had so much hate toward somebody. Britney isn’t happy with Jax talking about her and Kristen. In her interview, she says she and Kristen did not hook up. She tells Jax that she’d better not hear about it again. In her interview, Britney says if he can’t shut his mouth, she’s going back to Kentucky and out of the relationship. Like she can’t do better. About a million times better.

Schwartz tells Katie that even if things don’t work out, they have to stay together for the dogs and the apartment. The girls are coming over, and he wonders if he should be social or go into hermit mode. Stassi tells Katie happy first wedding conversation. She’s brought special bedazzled cups for everyone, and is going to make festive bridal cocktails that she garnered from Pinterest. Katie has pretty much nothing planned except for her dress.

They talk about the previous night and Katie says she thought it was a bad dream. Stassi and Schwartz talk about pooping their pants and how it wasn’t as bad. Did I really just hear that? Everyone is tired of hearing about how James is going through a hard time. Stassi thinks that he and Lala only use 5% of their brain power. Schwartz is concerned that Katie and Stassi being friends again is making Katie a mean girl. He calls it a hater’s ball and says he’s not one of them.

Lala tells James that what happened last night was not okay. Lala talks about Scheana and I tune out. She and James discuss the other girls. Lala says she likes to call Katie “the blob” because she’s “blobbish.” Get that girl a dictionary, stat!

Lisa wants a talk with James. She asks what happened at the party. James acts like he was the soul of tact and friendliness, but Lisa isn’t buying it. He says he’s compelled to be an a-hole because they like to see him crumble. What? Lisa thinks he lashes out when he doesn’t get approval and acceptance, and doesn’t understand there are boundaries in life. She tells him she doesn’t get why he says he doesn’t care about them, but then won’t leave them alone. She asks how she’s supposed to put him back in SUR when he keeps acting like a little a-hole. She says it’s become difficult for her to defend him and make excuses.

Next time, James apologizes to Katie, Schwartz wants a pre-nup and the Britney/Kristen story continues.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion Part One

Subtitle: Beautiful dresses on ugly people.

I’m not crazy about Meghan’s off-the-shoulder number. While Atlanta sparkles and NJ shines, this group is very monochromatic. Everyone picked a solid color and went with it. The earrings are huge and cool though.

Andy starts with Vicki. He asks if anyone is medicated, but Vicki says she only took a thyroid pill. He talks about Vicki’s apology tour and how in the end, Vicki found herself where she started. We flash back to all that. In thinking about it, I don’t believe Shannon ever really moved on from the cancer thing. In Ireland when they were getting along, they were just drunk. Andy brings up Brooks, and Vicki asks, who? She says she was at a place when she was busy and she didn’t really pay as much attention as she should have. She says he’s a bad guy and she learned a lot. Heather brings up something Vicki said, and Vicki says there was a time when she thought he was her soulmate, and it was just drunk talk in Ireland. Vicki says she’s in a different place now, and they didn’t know Brooks like she did. She admits everyone was right and she was wrong.

Shannon says she’s steadfast in her belief that Vicki knew Brooks was lying. She claims Vicki told her that she had lied, but Vicki says don’t go there. Andy asks Kelly if defending Vicki without knowing her was a mistake, but she says no.

Andy asks why Shannon won’t forgive Vicki. Shannon says she has, but it doesn’t mean they need to be friends. Vicki tells her to get off her show. Ha-ha! Shannon says she had defended Vicki in the beginning, and Vicki says she told Shannon to call ding-dong. None of us, including Shannon, have any idea what or who she’s talking about.

More on Vicki, and how she was out, then in, then out again. Andy asks Shannon if she and Vicki will ever be friends again and Shannon says never. Moving on.

We flash back to Tamra’s training and her relationship with Mia, her trainer and spiritual adviser. Tamra says her halo is crooked, but since her baptism, her life has gotten a lot better. Andy brings up son Ryan and asks if she blames herself for his problems. She says somewhat, since he’s a product of his environment. Andy asks about her daughter. She still lives with her father, and occasionally responds to a text. Tamra is getting along with Simon now, and attributes it to their son moving back in with her. She says since accepting Jesus, her outlook on life is different and she’s more forgiving. She talks about still being imperfect. Kelly isn’t impressed, and says Tamra is two-faced, nice one minute and talking about her the next. Tamra says she was nice, until she couldn’t put up with Kelly’s crap anymore. Kelly says Shannon can’t own anything, although I don’t know how she got in there. Tamra redirects the conversation back, and says she was nice to Kelly until she brought up Tamra’s daughter in Ireland. We flash back to their altercations and when Kelly called Tamra a dumb f***. Kelly excuses that by claiming it was because Tamra didn’t understand what she was saying. Because we always clarify things by calling somebody a rude name.

The talk turns to Meghan’s pregnancy. She isn’t having a C-section and hopes to give birth naturally. The rest of the women aren’t so sure that will happen. We flash back to Meghan’s best IVF moments. Meghan gets emotional watching. They talk about Jim being absent for most of it, but Meghan says he has a job, what was he supposed to do? Andy asks Heather if Terry was more involved, but she says no. Kelly says Michael gave her the shots because she couldn’t do it herself. Heather tells us that her frozen embryos are immortalized in the frosted glass of her lovingly designed window. Andy asks if he can buy one.

They discuss Meghan’s disappointment at not having twins. She says it was hard and she was hormonal, but she’s lucky that she got pregnant at all with a healthy baby. A viewer wonders if Meghan will have the same love for her step-children as she will for her own baby. Meghan says the bond will be different, but she’d throw herself in front of a bus for any of the kids. She’d probably throw Vicki under the bus too. BA-DUM-CHH!

After the commercial, Andy says welcome back like we went somewhere. Next up is Kelly. We flash back to Kelly’s ups and downs with her husband. Andy says he thinks she’s one of the most polarizing Housewives ever. He asks how she thinks she came off. She regrets how she treated Michael, but has no regrets about anyone else. You can hear a pin drop. She talks about how Michael became controlling after their daughter was born. Andy asks what she’s learned seeing her marriage play out on TV, and she thinks it was therapeutic. Andy questions Tamra, who thinks if Michael was diagnosed as a narcissist, it’s impossible for their marriage to improve. Kelly asks if she has a PhD in psychology, and I wonder if the test came from the internet.

Oh yay, we’re covering Shannon’s 70s party. We flash back to Shannon’s friends being excessively nasty to Kelly, and Shannon kicking Kelly out of the party. You! Who? Ha-ha! It was like an Abbot and Costello sketch. Clips of the subsequent bomb of a lunch follow. Shannon makes some excuse for the two idiots she invited. Shannon tells Kelly not to flatter herself that she’d waste time setting Kelly up. Kelly wonders why Shannon would shove drinks down her throat too.

The remark that Vicki made to David is brought up, as well as a discussion on who got in whose face first. While Vicki did walk over to David, he started it. Shannon makes excuses for David, and Meghan doesn’t think he was out of line. She says maybe it’s the millennial in her, but she wants to be treated “like any other man.” No comment. Kelly says that Shannon should have asked her friends to stop harassing her. Andy says it did seem like they were gunning for Kelly and Shannon has to agree. Of course she adds a “but…” Kelly says that Shannon wanted to hear the gossip and did nothing to stop it. We flash back to Shannon digging for the details. Shannon makes more excuses.

A viewer asks if Kelly regrets the low blow about David cheating, and she says no. Shannon says that Kelly doesn’t fight fair, but Kelly says if Shannon wants to fight, she’s going to fight dirty, now that she knows Shannon’s character.

Andy asks why Shannon accused Kelly of cheating. Shannon says there was a rumor that she was with a married man. She says the guy was living with his wife, and Kelly talked about being engaged during her separation from Michael, the guy’s family was damaged. Shannon says she broke up a family by having an affair. Apparently the guy’s wife and Shannon did some talking. Kelly tells her to blame him. In deciphering this, it sounds like the dude told Kelly he was separated, but still living in the same house, which is sadly common nowadays. Kelly certainly wasn’t hiding their relationship.

Shannon asks what she could possibly gain by lying about Kelly, and Kelly says drama. Shannon says she’s opinionated and sometimes that comes with drama, but she doesn’t manufacture it. She say she hopes Kelly is proud of herself. Andy makes annoying faces during this exchange, like he’s chomping at the gossip bit.

Next time, part two, Kelly suggests replacing Heather’s nickname “fancy pants” with “bossy pants,” Briana talks about her lupus diagnosis, Vicki tells Shannon to calm down, Kelly calls Heather hideous, and Andy pounds his scepter on the ground and yells at everyone to stop it.

👠  A short word about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Since they decided to squeeze this in on my already full Sunday night, I only jotted down a few takeaway points. Kandi has had baby Ace. He’s a real cutie and apparently a good baby. Neither Chateau Sheree nor Moore Manor is finished, although Kenya has moved in to her home. Sadly, she and Matt are having problems, and it sounds like he needs a little anger management. Kenya is also having a “soft opening” housewarming party, and next week, Porsha is showing up as an uninvited guest due to Phaedra’s plus one.

 

April 3, 2016 — The Land of Oz, the Dead Finale, Cait, Atlanta & Potomac

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Back in the Land of Oz, Zelena looks into her magic mirror and sees her mother, Rose MacGowan, giving her away as a baby. The computer generated Scarecrow drops in. Zelena needs some things for her time travel spell — innocence, love, courage and wisdom. She’s thinking of starting with the Scarecrow’s brain for wisdom, but Dorothy storms in.

Dorothy says she has the most powerful weapon of all, the love of the people. Zelena is about to throw a green fireball at her, when Toto, who is used to this gig, brings down the curtain — on Zelena’s head.

Hades tries to hurry Gold up, but he says the magic can’t be rushed. Hades wants a portal to Storybrooke and he wants it now.

Back in Storybrooke, Belle is tending to Zelena’s baby with Mother Superior’s help. Except Mother Superior is really Zelena who’s come for her baby.

Gold asks Hades what he wants with Zelena’s child. Hades isn’t talking though. He says just get him the baby, he’ll rip up the contract, and Gold’s second born child will belong to Gold and Belle again.

Zelena picks up the baby. The real Mother Superior draws a weapon, but Zelena thinks she’s bluffing. Gold is putting some of his own blood in the cauldron and all of a sudden a portal opens up in the middle of the room. No baby though.

Belle, Zelena and the baby are in the middle of nowhere. A nowhere with a red sky. Zelena recognizes it as the Underworld. Zelena says they’re here because of her, and that Hades wants her baby. She begs Belle to hand the baby over, but while Zelena is incapacitated, Belle jets.

In past Oz, Zelena pressures the Munchkins as to the Scarecrow’s whereabouts. Hades drops in and she asks who the hell he is, which he says is a more appropriate question than she knows. He says her handiwork has impressed him and he’s heard a rumor she’s dabbling in time travel. Zelena says she would have had the brain from the Scarecrow if it hadn’t been for Dorothy. Hades wants to help her out, but she wonders why he’d want a time travel spell. He won’t tell her and she says she doesn’t need his help.

Snow and David are at the Underworld diner. Snow is fretting about Neil. The proprietress tells them they can speak to him; it’s just a simple haunting. She has David breathe into a tube as payment because the breath of the living brings a nice price on the black market. She tells them to go down the street to the phone booth and tell the operator who they’d like to haunt. Doesn’t the diner have a phone? I guess the Underworld is the only place with a public phone now.

Henry has written some more story, but doesn’t remember writing it. Everyone has their ideas and he suggests maybe they’d like to write it themselves. Zelena knocks at the door. Regina asks if she’s dead, but she says she came through the portal along with her baby, who’s in danger.

Hades shows up at Zelena’s place in old Oz. He tells her he can help; he wasn’t just blowing smoke. He says he knows she’s thinking about her sister, who got everything while she didn’t. He says he gets it, because his brother Zeus put him in the same position. All he was left with was anger and a thirst for vengeance, and only true love’s kiss can free him. Zelena says she can give him a run for his money and he says that’s why they have to find the ingredients. He says he can find the scarecrow and if he can travel back in time, he’ll be the one on Olympus while his brother suffers.

Robin says he can track anyone and will find the baby. Belle takes the baby into a library. An elevator opens and Gold comes out. He asks what she’s doing there and if she’s dead. She says no, she’s there with Zelena. He says that explains why the spell didn’t work — it brought all three of them. He explains about the deal he made with Hades. Belle is surprised to find out she’s pregnant, with a baby that Gold already sold. He says that can be fixed and she’s upset that he’s the Dark One again.

He takes out the dagger and says he loves it, but he loves Belle too. He says he’s sorry though, but this is who he is. He doesn’t want to let the power go again. Belle asks not even for her? He says falling in love with the man behind the beast wasn’t what she did. She fell in love with the man and the beast, and one doesn’t exist without the other. She says she can’t deal with it, and he says she just has to choose to, and they can have a family and happiness. She says she doesn’t want to make any choices until he fixes things and she’s back in Storybrooke.

There’s a pretty long line for the phone booth.

Zelena asks what they named the baby. Robin says he’s been too busy protecting her to name her. Regina says she was like Zelena once, but her enemies became her family and now she’s happy. She says that when family needs your help, you step up. Zelena says her family does need her help — her daughter is her family.

Back in the day, Hades and Zelena go to the forest where he brings out a bicycle. He tells her to get on it with him and they ride through the forest. She says it’s like a broom with wheels. They take a tumble and get a little flirty. She asks how the bike is going to help. Hades says the bike is enchanted and belongs to Dorothy. It will take them to the Scarecrow.

Belle, carrying the baby, meets the others in the woods. Belle wonders what Zelena is doing here. Belle says Zelena stole the baby, but Zelena says it’s her baby. The baby starts to cry and Zelena wants to feed her. Robin says she’d better give the baby back when she’s done. Zelena gives the baby a bottle, but refuses to return her.

Snow and David join the others. They’re not sure if there was actual communication or the dead just hear their voices.

Zelena tries to calm the baby, but her magic won’t work.

Old days Hades and Zelena ride to a cabin where Dorothy and the Scarecrow are. Dorothy tries to intervene, but Zelena gets the Scarecrow’s brain. Zelena says she’s not going to kill Dorothy because she wants Dorothy’s people to know she can’t protect them. Zelena tells Hades he was right, but he’s disappeared, leaving only the bike.

Robin and the crew try to get Zelena to come out. She brings the baby out and says she can’t protect her. She says Hades wants to use her for a time travel spell. She says he had love in his heart and because of her, it’s gone. Regina says he needs the baby because it’s a symbol of innocence. Zelena tells them to take the baby and protect her, even if it’s at the expense of her never seeing her baby again.

Robin doesn’t want to name the baby yet, as Hades can do things like put it on a gravestone to keep someone there. Henry comes out with more of the story. He says he doesn’t remember writing it; it just wrote himself. It’s about Neil hearing the voices of his parents. Lots of warm fuzzies. Snow wants to get moving. She says they’re taking down Hades.

In old Oz, Hades has prepared a wonderful dinner for Zelena. She asks if it’s a farewell dinner, but he says he’s not going back. He says it’s true love between them. He says his heart fluttered for a moment on the bike and he believes his heart will start again and he’ll be free. They almost kiss, but Zelena stops it. She says she almost believed him, but she thinks he just wants to steal the brain for the spell. She says love isn’t enough. Hades says he doesn’t want revenge any more; he wants her and loves her. She says no one can love her and even if so, it would take away her chance for revenge. She tells him to get lost and he says she’ll regret it.

Zelena and Hades meet in the Underworld. He says he was looking for her. She says he was looking for the baby and she was just a happy accident. She says she thought she’d make it easy, but if he touches the baby, he’ll be sorry. He says he’d never hurt her because true love endures. He says he was trying to rescue the baby from the others. He tells her he made the Underworld look like Storybrooke for her, so she could have what her sister did. He says despite his best intentions, things don’t grow there, they decay, but it’s their decay. He says what better revenge is there than having it all? He says now they have to get their baby. Zelena says she wants to trust him, but she can’t. She says she’ll get her daughter back on her own.

Zelena never knew her own birthday and Hades tells her it’s April 15 (tax day — ha-ha!). He tortured it out of the miller’s daughter. He says he knows she doesn’t need anyone, but if she decides she wants him, he’ll be waiting at home as he always has. And he disappears, poof! in a puff of smoke

Next week, Gaston arrives, Hades tries to get Belle’s baby, and Gaston tries to kill Gold.

The Walking Dead

Morgan is tromping through the forest. He sees a sign that says “You Are Alive.” Nearby is a saddled horse. No surprise, there’s someone else in the woods — the guy who picked up Carol’s rosary.

A guy runs through the forest. Someone is chasing him. And whistling.

Rick and company need to find a doctor for Maggie. Carl tells Enid she has to stay behind. He says the Saviors are out there and she knows what they’ve done and tried to do, and it’s not happening to her. Enid says she’s going. Rick doesn’t want to bring Eugene, but Eugene insists. Carl agrees to let Enid come along, but then locks her in a closet. She says what if he doesn’t come back. He says she’ll survive somehow. Eugene, Abe and Sasha get into the RV. Spencer insists on coming too.

The guy in the woods has been caught. Spokesdude says he broke the rules and people had to die. They wanted to fight, so this is the way it has to be. They start beating the crap out of him.

Gabriel goes over the plan for those staying behind. He’s in charge and asks if Rick is comfortable with that. Rick says yes. Some guy asks if the Saviors show up if they should try and make a deal. Rick says wait for him. He has a deal for them. I’ll bet.

Morgan, now riding the horse, sees a bunch of dead guys. Then he sees Carol in a doorway. She says she told him not to come. He checks out her injuries.

Dude in the forest is now getting dragged out of the forest into the middle of the road. Spokesdude says they’re gong to make an example of him.

Maggie isn’t doing too well, but Rick says it will be okay. He says everything they’ve done, they’ve done together and everything has worked out because it’s been all of them. He says as long as it’s all of them, they can do anything.

Morgan dresses Carol’s wounds. He tells her she needs stitches and antibiotics. He says at dawn they’ll head back and get her some help. She says no. Like he’s going to listen.

The RV comes across the group of guys from the woods blocking their way. They get out of the van. Rick tells them they can make a deal. Spokesdude says that’s right, give them all the stuff. They’ll probably have to kill someone, but then they can move forward with business. Rick says that’s not going to work and he was actually going to ask for their stuff, but he doesn’t have to kill any more of them.

Another guy spray paints the almost-dead guy (?) and Spokesdude says he’s not going to negotiate. Rick says they’re leaving then. Rick asks if they want to make today their last day on earth. Spokesdude says no, but what if it’s the last day on earth for Rick or someone he loves? He says you never know. More last day on earth talk and Rick gets back in the RV. Abe backs it up down the road.

They park the RV to regroup. Carl asks Spencer why he didn’t stay at Alexandria. He says he owes her and asks why Carl came. He says he owes them. Eugene and Sasha plot out a new route.

Morgan tells Carol that Rick, Daryl and some of the others were looking for her too. He says they’ll be back by the time they get to Alexiandria. Carol says he can’t just tell her to come back. Morgan says her people care about her. She says she cares about them, that’s why she can’t be there. He says that’s why she has to be there. She says if you care about people, there are people you’ll kill for. If you don’t want to kill or can’t, you have to get away. Morgan says everything in this life is worth a damn and out there on her own, she’ll die. Carol says let her die then and Morgan says he can’t. Carol draws her gun and tells him to go. She lowers it and says please. She says if you care about anyone, you have to pay a price and she can’t anymore.

Abe asks Sasha if they could do it, what Maggie has done. He says he could do it now, just so she knows. Uh-oh, another blockade. Sasha asks if they’re making their stand. Carl says they end it now. Rick says not yet, but they’re playing it the way they want it and tells Abe to go slow.

There are a bunch of vehicles and guys with guns. They shoot into the air.

Morgan goes outside and sees a zombie hanging from some scaffolding, and several more outside the gate. He climbs up the scaffold, stabs the zombie in the head and cuts him down. When he goes back in, Carol is gone. Did he really think she was sticking around after that speech? He gets back on the horse and leaves.

In the RV, they talk about the men blocking them and that this was a different group. Their main concern is getting Maggie to some help. Oh man, what now? A horde of zombies is blocking the road. They’re chained together. Abe says putting together a Red Rover like that takes people, a lot of them. They realize each zombie signifies one of their group. Just as they’re about to dispatch the zombies, gunfire starts.

Miraculously, no one gets shot. They make it back to the RV and take off.

Commercial break. Next week is the season premiere of Fear the Walking Dead. I almost gave up on this one until they pulled out all the stops in the season finale. Looks like the new season is going to be an improvement.

Rick said the Saviors were trying to block the road, but didn’t stop them, so they want them to go in this direction. Maggie is burning up and Rick is getting worried. There it is. Another blockade. This time with a lot more people like a giant cheerleader pyramid. Rick tells Abe to go back.

Morgan continues to look for Carol. He sees someone freshly dead and sees a rosary. It’s not Carol though. Carol is stumbling though a farm. A not too bright zombie is banging around a dumpster and she closes the open ramp on him. Another zombie comes out of nowhere and she kills it. Then the guy who took her rosary comes out next and knocks her down. He draws a gun on her.

He tells her that she’s going to lie there and he’s going to watch her die like his friends did and that he’s going to die too, and let’s see who wins. He shoots her in the arm and says it’s a good start.

Commercial break. New show Outcast looks pretty decent.

Rick tells Maggie they’re getting there. She heard the shots, but Rick tells her it was the Saviors and they’re gone. He says the baby is okay and there will be more. Maggie says she believes in him.

Rosary dude asks Carol what she’s smiling about. She says she’s going to die, so there’s nothing wrong anymore. He shoots her again. He asks if she’s suffered enough and she says probably not. He doesn’t know what the blip to make of this. He starts walking away and she says unless he kills her now, she’s not going to die. She says he needs to decide. He comes back and is going to shoot, when Morgan shows up with a gun and tells him to drop it, please. He doesn’t and Morgan shoots him. Way to go, Morgan. Carol says to let her go, but he says it’s not her time.

Morgan turns around to see two pseudo-knights. He says he found their horse and his friend needs help. One of them says let’s get her some help then.

Rick and company come across yet another blockade, this time a burning one, and are looking around when a guy drops off the bridge behind them, hanging by his neck. They can’t waste a bullet on him though, so zombie he will be. A voice says something about their last day on earth and tells them to get out. They do.

Rick says Maggie needs a doctor now. Sasha says there are two more routes, but Rick says they’re waiting. Eugene says they’re waiting for the RV and it’s going to be dark soon. He and Eugene make a plan. Rick and the others are leaving with Maggie, and Eugene is going to keep driving. Eugene gives him a map to where the bullets are. Rick says they’re lucky to have Eugene and Eugene says he can’t argue with that. Abe tells Eugene he was wrong. Eugene is a survivor and always was, they just didn’t know it. They hug and I have a bad feeling about everything. And rightly so, since this is the season finale. Sad music while Eugene watches them leave.

Commercial break. Fear 462. The conclusion. Obrecht takes off her oxygen mask. Dude from Fear the Walking Dead sees the plane in the sky. We’ll find out what happens with the flight in the premiere.

The crew carries Maggie through the woods on a stretcher. Carl says they can do anything. They have and they will. He says he’s not going to let anyone die like Denise again. They hear whistling and take off running. They come to a clearing and are in a spotlight. There’s a ring of people around the clearing and the RV is there. A lot of whistling that’s more annoying than spooky. Rick looks totally freaked. Eugene is there on his knees.

Spokesdude says you made it to where you’re going, and takes their weapons. Rick suggests they talk, but Spokesdude says they’re done talking, now he’s going to listen. He comes up to Carl and says, “It’s yours, right?” He tells them to get on their knees. This is so not good. They take Maggie off the stretcher.

Dwight takes Michonne, Daryl, Rosita and Glenn out of a nearby truck. It’s time to finally meet Negan.

Negan comes out of a truck carrying a Flintstones style club. He asks who’s the leader and Dwight points out Rick. Negan introduces himself and says he doesn’t appreciate his people being killed. He tells Rick he has no idea how not cool that sh*t is, and he’s going to regret crossing him in a few minutes. He says you don’t cross New World Order. He tells Rick to give him his sh*t or he’ll kill him. He says today was career day and they invested a lot in showing them who he is and what he can do. They work for him now. They’re stuff belongs to him.

Negan says Rick ruled the roost, built something and thought they were safe, but they’re not even close to safe. He says what he wants is half of their stuff and this is their way of life now. The more they fight back, the harder it will be. He asks Rick if he understands, but Rick doesn’t say anything.

Negan says they’re going to be punished. He’s not going to kill Rick because he wants Rick to work for him and he can’t do that if he’s dead. He says Rick’s people killed more of his people than he’s comfortable with, and he can’t let that go, so he’s going to beat the holy hell out of one of them. He introduces his club as Lucille. I name it Wilma.

Negan walks down the line, talking macho bs. When he gets to Maggie, he tells her she looks sh*tty and he should put her out of her misery. Of course this makes Glenn go crazy. Dwight pulls him back. Negan tells them the first one is free, it’s an emotional moment, but don’t anybody do that again.

Next, Negan picks on Carl, knowing that he’s Rick’s son. He says he has to pick somebody. Ugh! He starts whistling and walking down the line again, saying he can’t decide. He does eeny, meeny, minie, moe. How old are we? Five? Everyone is all shaky and crying, which I find difficult to grasp after all they’ve been through. He says if anybody tries anything, he’ll take Carl’s other eye out and feed it to Rick. Alrighty then. He starts beating on someone but we can’t see who it is.

There’s a blank screen rip-off ending, with screams in the background.

Why is there never a season finale with Rick’s crowd ending up on top?

I Am Cait

This is funny. Jenny pronounces Monday “Mundee.” The girls make fun of this, but she’s actually correct. When I was in acting school, I took Standard American Speech and that is the way you’re supposed to pronounce it.

Kourtney calls Cait and Cait tells her that she’s meeting Scott in St. Louis. She wants to make sure it’s cool with Kourtney. Scott has been in rehab, so things are good between them. Cait explains to the girls that Kourtney and Scott had three kids, but never got married. I didn’t know that.

Cait asks Chandi why she thinks that many trans women of color are sex workers. Chandi says they’re more likely to be rejected by their parents, who would rather hear they’re gay. Cait wonders why they it’s difficult for them to get real jobs. Candis says it’s most likely a discrimination issue.

We see the St. Louis Arch. They must all be exhausted.

Apparently not that exhausted. Candis is working out with her personal trainer. They go out for a snack. The trainer, Andrew, asks her about dating and if she’s open with the men she dates. Candis says she has to be, and the reaction depends on the person. He asks what she likes and she says tall, dark and handsome (which he is) and he says he thinks it’s just around the corner.

Cait and Chandi have breakfast. Chandi feels there are some loose ends and wants to tell Cait about her past. She says before she started performing, she ran with the wrong crowd. She did some white collar crime, like writing bad checks, and ended up in prison. Wow. I wouldn’t have guessed that. It was pretty scary and Chandi never realized the repercussions being a felon would have. Chandi says her parents weren’t there for her, but only because she didn’t tell them. Everything was about trying to survive.

Scott comes to visit. Scott asks how it’s going on the bus and Cait says there’s a lot of interesting conversation. She thinks it will be good for Scott to meet the girls and hear about their experiences.

They all go to a bar and meet up with Van, a friend of Zachary’s. They joke about Scott being an honorary trans woman. Cait goes for a motorcycle ride. Candis follows, but takes a spill and goes back to the bar. Zachary talks about the high amount of trans women who are murdered. They’re going to a memorial for them.

Van talks about transitioning twice. She went back to being a male for a while because she couldn’t find a job. Cait identifies, having had hormone therapy in the 80s. Jenny talks to Scott about how to explain Cait’s transition to his children. She says in her experience, it’s a bigger deal to grown-ups than to kids. I’m sure.

The girls take a break from the bus and go on a riverboat cruise. St. Louis is a really beautiful city. And very clean. Chandi talks about the new term “pan sexual,” basically being open to anything and testing the waters. There’s some discussion about surgeries. Scott seems sincere about his interest in getting answers to questions he might be asked.

Chandi’s mom, Tina, meets them back at the hotel. They go out to dinner. I would totally gain weight on this trip. Andrew joins them. Jenny talks to Scott about his split from Kourtney. I have to admit, I’d always thought Scott was a bit of a d-bag, but he seems to be a decent guy.

Scott says that he hasn’t talked to Cait all night and he has to call it a day. He leaves and Candis suggests Cait has been ignoring him. They get back to the hotel, and Candis and Andrew get a drink. They step outside and Andrew gives Candis his jacket. Candis asks what Andrew is thinking. She says he’s cute and she could kiss him, but he says he doesn’t think he could go there just yet. She says on that note, she’s going to bed and she’ll call him. Yeah, that wasn’t the response I expected from him either.

The girls go to the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Andrew comes by Candis’s room. He tells her something came up and he has to fly out. He asks about last night. She says she felt like they had something, and assumed his hesitation is because of the trans thing. He says yes, but there’s no judgement, it’s just him. I would be okay with this, but he sure seemed like he was flirting, so why did he lead her on? Candis is understandably hurt. I feel hurt for her.

Cait has breakfast with Chandi and her mother. Cait asks Tina what her concerns were when Chandi first told her about transitioning. Tina says she questioned herself as a mom. She says she had a hard time at first because she’s religious, but she realized that God accepts us as we are. She says even though Chandi is different than she is, she’s still her child.

Cait goes to Scott’s room. Scott says if Cait is going to be a woman, maybe she should tone down her knock. Ha-ha! Cait says she heard Scott was thinking of leaving, but she thinks he should stay. Scott says that he came there to visit her, but is spending more time with her people. Cait says that he has a lot in common with them. She says that she’d always felt isolated and didn’t fit in and when she surrounded herself with good people, it helped. She says he’s kind of in the same boat. Scott says he thought the drinking made him fun and cool, but no. He says he’s there for Cait and she says ditto. Cait says it’s not so much going through the issues, it’s how you come out. Scott says he feels better now that they talked and not so much like an outsider. They hug and Scott says maybe Cait wants to tone down the hugs too. These two have a cute relationship.

They go to Remembrance Day and names of the murder victims are read. Candis says it could have been any one of them. A memorial garden is dedicated and Kate makes a small speech about them being the first generation to be more open and fight against transphobia.

This season, Kris visits, there’s a ski trip and a golf outing, Christmas trees in LA,  and more politics.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — Reunion Part Three

Again, I decided to forego the first half to watch I Am Cait in its entirety.

When I come in, they’re talking about the Feds visiting Cynthia’s house regarding Apollo’s stuff. The guys are on stage and Peter said the agent basically said he thought there was stolen stuff there because of the show. Phaedra says she had nothing to do with it and had it been her motive, she would have done it before anything aired. Kandi seems skeptical. Phaedra acts offended, but Kandi says she’s been secretive and done some weird sh*t.

Andy asks Todd if he thinks Phaedra called the Feds and he says yes. Phaedra gets offended again, but Todd says she’s kind of transparent. Phaedra talks about Todd running around with Apollo and Todd brings up how he helped her cut Apollo out of the exercise video deal. Todd says she seems to know what he’s doing all the time, so maybe she should have kept better tabs on Apollo. He suggests she’s not as innocent as she claims about what was going on with Apollo’s schemes.

Phaedra pulls up some emails where Todd asked for an update, meaning when is she going to settle up about the video. Todd whips out a couple of papers. Kandi says Phaedra ties up loose ends at the last minute, just before she knows things will become public. Kandi gets defensive about Todd. Todd says he kept his mouth shot about Phaedra owing the money pretty well, but they’re square now. The husbands exit. After Andy asks Peter how drunk he is.

Andy talks about Porsha going off on an assistant and we see “previously unseen footage,” which really means they saved it for the reunion. OMG. Porsha is in a short, white, furry outfit, running after some poor soul and screaming. Dwight picks up the hat with ears that she lost. Apparently Porsha beat someone down, tearing off her wig and everything. Porsha makes excuses I’m not even going to bother with. We flash back to the person Porsha attacked, who was an assistant. Andy points out that Porsha has been in three altercations since being on the show and asks if that’s her normal way of handling things. Porsha makes noises that she’s the victim. When Kenya tries to say something, Porsha whines. Nene says she managed to make it through the season without giving anyone a beatdown.

Phaedra says Porsha went to anger management and acknowledges that it’s something that needs to be treated. Kenya says some of the cast members have felt uncomfortable around her. Kandi says what’s worse is that it’s happened more than once and that the women are automatically on the defense. Porsha talks about remorse afterward, but the others say that’s not true, that she’s smack talked afterwards. Aww, poor Porsha is upset and says she’ll only answer questions from Andy.

She tries to blame the show, but Andy says the pressure is true for everyone. Kenya says she wants to blame everyone else for her loss of control. Kenya and Porsha get into a mini argument. Sheree says something, but I keep being distracted by her almost black lipstick that looks like something out of The Rocky Horror Show. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but it’s definitely attention grabbing. Nene says Porsha has made some bad choices. She says things like fighting and twerking will mar your brand. Kim think Porsha should be congratulated that she’s going to counseling and is honest about that. Porsha says one of those phrases I hate, “I’m a work in progress.” That always seems like an excuse for being a screw up to me.

Everybody says boring stuff about what the season meant to them and what they learned or whatever. Phaedra uses that work in progress term again. No surprise that she and Porsha used that phrase. They’re the two phoniest cast members who constantly make excuses for their bad behavior, which is always somebody else’s fault.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

I can’t believe it’s the season finale of The Walking Dead and this show is still going on.

It’s the morning after the night before, and Charrisse is just waking up. She says she has no complaints about her 50th birthday party.

Robyn and Gizelle are taking the kids horseback riding. Gizelle says it’s not something she enjoys because of the dirt. Um…it’s not farming. Robyn is concerned that there aren’t more Black families, so her kids can play with kids who look like them. She brings up Katie’s calling them bi-racial. For one, I don’t get why that’s some kind of insult, and for two, I don’t believe they have no white ancestors. No way, no how. Gizelle says she’s having a “come to Jesus” lunch for the ladies because they should have each other’s backs.

Karen is getting Rayven off to college. Karen is distressed that she’s so cool about moving out. I totally understand.

Katie has a farm in Virginia that she bought when she was a model. She and Andrew are going there for a romantic weekend. Katie says she doesn’t understand why a couple of the others can’t relax and have fun, adding that there’s more to life than just gossiping when that’s what she’s doing right now. Gizelle calls Katie about the lunch. Katie does not sound enthusiastic.

Andrew tells Karen he’s going to Scotland and she’s not invited. She says she understands, but she’s bummed. I think the time is running out for him to propose.

Ashley is waiting on the rooftop for Michael, who is bearing sushi. They talk about the restaurant they’re opening. Ashley also wants to get going on having a baby. She’s thinking a month after the opening. He says if they break even. Ashley talks about the upcoming lunch. Ashley hopes she and Karen can work things out, but Gizelle seems to have a problem with the butt-grabbing business. I can’t even believe anyone is still talking about a 3-second event at a party.

Katie’s farm has cows and everything. Katie and Andrew go to a place she calls “the vortex.” There are all kinds of flowers and such and Andrew proposes. Nice, but anticlimactic after all this time. Or what feels like all this time. Beautiful ring, no surprise.

Gizelle and her girls are making dinner. Gizelle’s father, Curtis, is joining them. Curtis was a big part of the early Civil Rights movement. He tells a story about Martin Luther King and how MLK prayed and got a miracle. He seems like a cool guy. What happened to Gizelle? Curtis is also getting some kind of award for his efforts.

The girls are meeting at a restaurant. Gizelle says nobody is getting up until everything is resolved. Hope they have sleeping bags with them. Gizelle says they’re all grown, sophisticated and educated, and should be able to talk things out. I do a spit take. There hasn’t been one cast member who’s demonstrated those qualities.

Everyone is there except Katie, but Robyn doesn’t think she’s coming. Gizelle makes a little speech about how they don’t listen and gives them a sign to hold for when it’s there turn to speak. Karen gets it first and talks about her non-gala and how she doesn’t want Ashley talking about her daughter. She suggests Ashley have her own baby, and rather crudely for one sooo concerned with etiquette all the time. Again I ask, where did they find these women? The other girls look like they might choke.

Ashley says she’s chill, but she says that Karen has made some oddball comments about her and her husband. She also says she acted like Michael wanted to get in her panties at the beach house. Gizelle calls the issue done, but I’ll bet not. Katie arrives.

Katie takes the sign and says she’s engaged. She shows the ring and tells the story. Robyn takes the sign and tells Katie she thinks they need a Black history lesson. Katie brings up Robyn thinking butt-grabbing is a white thing. Oh. Please. Gizelle says she was the first to notice and thought it was disrespectful. Katie asks why bring race into it. Katie says she was trying to show them their hypocrisy in their bringing up race all the time by calling them bi-racial. She wonders why there’s a problem with it anyway. Gizelle says Katie has a problem with being Black and Katie says she’s a stupid woman who says stupid things. Probably the first honest thing that’s been said here.

My TV suddenly decided to go wacky here and pull some poltergeist moves. I did see the end of the show though where everyone gave a one-word toast with things like love, wealth and dynamic. With each woman, they showed what’s happening in their lives.

Absolutely nothing.

Next week, The Reunion. This should be good. Bring earplugs.

March 27, 2016 — A Mutiny, a Debate, a Reunion, the Dead & the Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time
Henry takes off with Cruella in the coolest car ever. Her license plate says DeVIL and I feel really, really stupid because in all these years, I never realized her last name spells devil. Henry makes her stop near a forest. Cruella isn’t interested in tromping around in her heels, so she tells Henry to go ahead. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice stops Henry. He tells Henry it would be a mistake to resurrect Cruella. He says Henry should only record the stories, not create them. The sorcerer says the quill is protected by a powerful spell and the sheriff has the key. He tells Henry he trusts him to make the right choice.

Emma tends to Hook’s wounds. He says she went into the darkness for love, but he did it for revenge and doesn’t measure up to her. She asks if he wants to stay in the Underworld. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Hook’s older brother, Liam.

We flash back to Hook and his brother working as indentured servants on a ship. Liam suggests they join the Royal Navy when they’re finished. The captain comes by and kicks some crap onto the deck that they have to clean up. He tells them only Liam can go collect their money, which will be paid to him. Liam says he’ll be back and they’ll be free by sunrise.

Hook says the only way out of the Underworld is to defeat Hades. He asks Liam if he has any knowledge from being there so long. Liam says he’s heard about a book from people who have tried to overthrow Hades. He says he’s in on the mutiny.

Snow and David look for the book. Liam asks to talk to Emma. He tells her Hook blames himself for being there, but Liam thinks it’s Emma’s fault. He says Hook had the chance to die a hero and she took it from him. She asks if he was this self-righteous while he was alive. He says when it comes to his brother, yes, and if she really loves him, she’ll let him go.

Hook and Emma start looking for the book. Henry says he thinks he knows where it is, but they need the key from the sheriff, who is also David’s evil twin, James.

Back on the old ship, Liam returns and the captain says only he can leave. Hook took the captain up on his offer of a drink and ended up gambling his half of the money away. The captain says Liam should just leave the dead weight behind him. Hook says he can’t be the brother that Liam deserves. Liam says come hell or high water, he can’t leave his brother.

Hades is in the bar where Liam is bartender. Hades says he knows about the mutiny. Liam asks what he wants. Hades says he wants the book destroyed, or at least the pages he’s on. He says the sorcerer’s house doesn’t like him very much, so he needs Liam to get it.

Snow and David break into the sheriff’s office. They get the key, but hear Cruella coming in. Snow jets out and David pretends to be his brother. Cruella has brought champagne and says momma has had a long day.

Emma asks Regina what she thinks of Liam. Regina realizes Liam doesn’t like Emma. Emma says he doesn’t think she’s good enough for Hook. Regina says he the type who doesn’t forgive himself.

Henry, Hook. Liam and Emma take the key to the sorcerer’s house.

On the old ship, a storm is brewing and the ship is going right into it. Hook tries to tell the captain they should change course, or they’ll face a hurricane. The captain says there’s a reward for the ship that goes inside the hurricane, so too bad, they’re staying on course. Liam and Hook stage a mutiny. Hook asks if it’s going to be the easy way or the bloody way and the captain surrenders. Liam tells Hook to tie them up while he goes to get the captain’s maps and whatever.

The sorcerer isn’t a very good housekeeper. There are cobwebs everywhere. Emma tells Henry to be the lookout while they look for the book.

Liam finds the book. While alone, he turns to the pages with Hades in them, and rips them out, saying he’s sorry to his brother.

Cruella is sitting on David’s lap, trying to ply him with champagne. Finally he has enough and asks her if his brother really goes for this nonsense. Cruella says she’d hoped he’d pretended a while longer. She says she knew he wasn’t James because although he looks like James, he doesn’t have James’s “delicious damage,” the damage David is responsible for.

The Storybrooke gang realizes the pages with Hades are gone. Regina says she took her pages out when she didn’t want Henry to know she was the evil queen. Liam pretends like he didn’t know the pages were missing and says maybe they fell out somewhere. They go off to look.

Emma tells Hook something is up with Liam, but he blows her off, thinking it’s just because of Liam’s attitude toward Emma.

Hades shows up in the midst of the storm. Liam is in the captain’s quarters and Hades says he can help him. He says Liam’s dreams of the King’s Navy are over. Liam asks how he would know about that and Hades shows his blue, fiery hair. Liam says he’s a demon. Hades says technically he’s a god, but a lot of people make that mistake. Liam draws his sword. Hades promises if Liam allows the ship to be sunk, he’ll spare Liam and his brother. He says he’ll also give him a rare gem stone. Hades says it will fulfill all of Liam’s dreams.

Liam ditches the pages in a well. Emma comes by and he claims he’s getting some air. Emma tells him that he’s Hook’s hero and wonders why he lied to Hook. Hook comes by and Emma says Liam has the pages. She says he’s been hiding his hands since she got there and tells Liam to show Hook his hands. Hook says he doesn’t care. His fate isn’t in Storybrooke, it should be determined there. Emma says no matter how many times people tell him he’s good enough, he doesn’t listen. She leaves.

Liam shows Hook his hands and they have ink on them. Hook asks why Liam lied. The ship’s crew comes out of the woods and the captain says that Liam has to pay for what he did to them.

Back on the old ship, they’re in the middle of the storm. Liam gives Hook his lucky ring, saying that’s how sure he is, and takes the wheel. Hook makes a speech about trusting Liam with his life.

In the Underworld, Hook asks what this has to do with the missing pages. The captain says Liam isn’t the hero he pretends to be. He says he saw Hades visiting him at the bar and says he traded their souls for the eye of the storm. The guys take Hook and Liam to the edge of the precipice above the Lake of Fire, and the captain tells them to walk the plank. Liam asks them to spare Hook, but that’s a no. Liam tells Hook sorry he failed.

Hades shows up asking if someone decided to have a party without inviting him. Bye, captain! Hades says only one of them kept the bargain with him. Liam tells him to spare Hook and that he had nothing to do with it. Hades says too bad and over the edge Liam goes. Hook grabs his hand, but Liam says to forgive him and lets go. Hades says Liam will pay for this and disappears poof! in a cloud of blue smoke. I guess his sacrifice spared Hook.

Liam is in a little boat and drifts up to Hook. Liam says this is what he should have done in the first place. Hook tells all the men they’re free now and to get in the boat. He says his unfinished business isn’t done yet. Liam says to tell Emma he was wrong and that she does want what’s best for Hook. The brothers say good-by and Liam sails away.

In the old days, Liam and Hook wash up on shore. Some soldiers from the Royal Navy find them. The captain says if they went into the storm, they deserve what they got. Liam produces the stone and the captain sings a different tune, saying he’s a hero. His ship will take them to the king. Liam says he’s going to ask the king about a Navy position and the captain says they can do that right there.

Hook tells Emma what happened, and how she was right about Liam, but he sacrificed himself. Hook says he saw the truth that he is good enough for Emma. They kiss.

Henry pokes around the sorcerer’s place. He finds the quill and some ink. The others are still combing the book, but the pages with Hades are gone. David finds Henry upstairs and asks what’s up. Henry says he doesn’t want to talk about it. David says he learned that his twin brother resented him his whole life. He says he wanted what David had, a family and tells Henry that his family is pretty great. Henry asks him not to make it a lesson.

Henry shows the others the quill. He tells them about Cruella and how he almost helped her with it. He says he realized how much power he has and wanted to be the hero rather than the one rescued. He says he knows better now and is going to write the stories as they are. They wonder what Hades is trying to hide from them.

Hades finds the pages from the book and looks through them. He comes to a picture of him and Celena. He says their secret is safe.

Next week, Celena visits Hades and a reckless romance must be stopped.

The Walking Dead

Strange beginning. It’s either raining or dripping blood and there are voices in the background. Then we go right to the credits and an ad for Fear the Walking Dead which tricks us into thinking the show started.

Carol sews her jacket and packs her bag. Tobin comes upstairs. Carol hides her bag under the bed. He talks about Denise and Carol spaces out. Carol says she’s concerned about when Tara finds out. Tobin says everything will be okay and kisses her. When he’s asleep, Carol slips out while a Johnny Cash song, It’s All Over, plays.

The song continues as we see what everyone is doing. Glenn and Maggie are taking a shower together; Daryl sits on his bike, Denise’s key ring in his hand; Sasha gives Abe a cigar; Rosita guards the gate.

Rick and Michonne are in bed. She takes a bite of an apple and gives it to him. This is so they can get cozy and not have morning breath. It’s an old French trick. They talk about how ultimately, everything went pretty well. Michonne has to leave for her shift. She says Maggie is worried about an attack. Rick says it won’t be like before and everyone knows what to do. He says the world is theirs and they’re not losing anybody again. Don’t get cocky, Rick.

Michonne, Glen and Maggie see Daryl leaving Alexandria on his bike. Glenn says they have to stop him. Abe pops out of nowhere and Rosita tells him to cover her shift because she’s going with them. She gets in the car with Michonne and Glenn.

Rick asks Tobin when Carol left, but he doesn’t know. Abe comes up and tells them that Daryl just took off. Tobin notices there’s a car missing. Abe says he’s going to find them and Rick tells him to wait. He says not to let anyone else leave and to be ready for a fight. He leaves with Morgan.

Commercial break. Fear 462. The oxygen masks drop and it looks like the plane is dropping too.

Carol is driving a car with giant spikes sticking out of it. A car comes from the other direction and some guys shoot out the tires. They sit in the back of their pickup and wait. Carol tucks her rosary in her sleeve. A guy says hands up and she asks them not to hurt her. What the blip has happened to Carol? She gets out of the car.

The guy asks where she’s from and where she’s going. He says he’s Hugh. She says she’s Nancy and she’s bounced around a lot, that she’s not from anywhere or going anywehre. He says they agree on one thing, she’s not going anywhere, but she seems like she is from somewhere. He says Alexandria has cars out front like the one she’s driving. He says she shouldn’t be out there alone and they can give her a ride back, since it’s where they were headed. Carol hyperventilates.

She says they could turn around and no one needs to get hurt. They start to come for her and a gun from somewhere shoots them all. A gun from carol’s sleeve. Apparently, part of her sewing project. One of the guys who is still alive comes after her, but she stabs him with one of the car spikes.

She tells another survivor to come out. He says he’ll pass. Blood is dripping from everywhere (like in the opening scene) and he comes out in attack mode with a knife.

Enid tells Maggie to put her feet up and eat some pickles while she takes Maggie’s shift.

Morgan says he thinks Carol went east. Rick says he doesn’t even know her. Morgan says there is no right, just wrong that hasn’t pulled you down.

One of the guys Carol shot is wounded. He stumbles out of the truck, surveying the damage.

Rick and Morgan drive up. They see Carol’s car, but no Carol. Rick grabs a guy who’s still breathing and asks where she is. He just gurgles, so Rick puts him out of his misery. He and Morgan look around cautiously. Rick says the men were Saviors. Rick says Carol took four of them down and she’s a force of nature. Morgan sees a blood trail going into the woods. Rick notices the guns are gone.

They follow the trail through a field. The wounded guy comes out of the woods and picks up Carol’s rosary. He follows Rick and Morgan.

Rosita and Glen go to the train tracks where Denise died. Glen asks her which way Dwight ran.

Daryl is also going through the field and nearly hits Rosita with an arrow. Daryl says they shouldn’t have come and Glenn says he shouldn’t have left. Daryl says he’s going to do what he should have done. Glenn says they need to figure it out from home and that everyone there needs them right now. He says it’s going to go wrong out there. Michonne asks Daryl to come back, but he says he can’t . He walks into the woods. Rosita says she can’t either and follows him. Glenn and Michonne go back.

Glenn says they need to find out more and Michonne agrees. Glen says after everything they did, he thought they would figure it out together. They hear a whistle type signal. A bunch of guys with guns surround them. Dwight is one of them.

Rick and Morgan see more blood. Morgan asks Rick id he’s there because Carol is his friend. Rick says Carol is his family. Morgan asks Rick about when he kicked Carol out of the prison and what he would do if that happened today. He adds that she came back and saved them. They see someone stumbling along, but it’s not Carol, it’s a zombie.

They go to a farmhouse, where there are a couple of dead people outside. They see a guy attack a zombie. The guy runs into the barn. He says he’s looking for his horse and Rick says they’re looking for a friend. The guy runs out and away, but Rick and Morgan can’t go after him because a slew of zombies come out that they have to deal with. Rick says maybe he’s from Hilltop. Morgan says he could be from anywhere.

Morgan says he found a Wolf who had attacked him once before. He found him hiding in one of the brownstones in Alexandria. He says he could have killed him, but he kept him in a cell instead. He says when Carol found out, they fought about it. He says when the Wolf escaped, he ended up saving Denise’s life, who in turn saved Carl. He says it’s a circle. He tells Rick to take the car home and that he shouldn’t be taking any more chances because he’s needed there. He says somehow, he’ll find Carol.

Rick asks if he’s coming back. Morgan says yes, but if he doesn’t, don’t come looking. Rick makes him take a gun. Before he leaves, he tells Morgan that Michonne did steal the protein bar (something I don’t even remember, but it sounds like something from Survivor). Morgan says he knew that.

Rick gets back and asks if Michonne is there, but she’s still out with Glenn. Abe asks Rick if he’s afraid to get close to anyone and he says yes. Abe says him too, but he’s ready to rip the world a new one.

Maggie tells Enid she needs some more help. She wants Enid to cut her hair. She says she has to keep going and doesn’t want anything to get in her way. Like shoulder-length hair? Enid does a pretty good job, but then Maggie goes into labor.

Glenn and Michonne are bound and gagged. Daryl sees them from behind a tree. Dwight comes up behind him and I say “oh no!” out loud. We hear a shot, Daryl pitches forward, and Dwight says, “You’ll be all right.”

Next week, it’s the 90-minute finale, Rick wants to make a deal, and a humongous war happens.

I Am Cait

The girls go for mani-pedis. The next stop is Dubuque, then Des Moines for the debates and then Graceland University where Cait went to school. They will be giving a talk there. She says the school is religiously affiliated and she wants to allow the student body to ask questions. Ella is kind of nervous about that, since she knows a couple of guys who go to school there.

They go to a fund raiser for Chicago House and Cait gives a talk. Cait visited one of their homes that houses people from the trans community. There is a protest outside where the protesters say that Cait has no clue about the real trans community issues. One of the protesters says that Cait doesn’t speak for them, and Cait explains that she isn’t trying to speak for everyone, only herself. Like there isn’t enough pressure, I guess she’s supposed to be a role model for every person who’s ever had gender reassignment surgery. Non-conformists unite!

Back in the limo, Chandi is like, that person isn’t even showing their face, how are they helping the community. Jenny says it’s the first time Cait has seen some people’s reservations about her. Jenny says she’s a public figure, but also a problematic figure and she needs to pay attention.

I just want to interject my two cents here. Why is it that just because Cait transitioned, she is supposed to be a totally different person inside as well? I thought the whole point was to put your body in sync with your mind. Not the other way around.

They pick up Candis’s sister, Mimi, and head to Dubuque. The first stop is a lingerie store. Cait says she thinks there’s some wild things going on in Dubuque. They go out to eat and Cait suggests sampling “mountain oysters” (i.e. bull testicles), but that idea is vetoed.

A local trans representative sits down with them and they discuss the evening’s casino event. The girls are going to be dealers for the night. Kate says this is a good way for people to experience meeting their first transgender person and see that they’re sweet.

A 13-year-old girl tells Cait she’s having trouble coming out and Cait gives some wise advice that’s probably true for everyone. Surround yourself with positive people who want the best for you and if anyone gives you trouble, tell them to get the hell out.

Back on the bus, Kate says they’ll be going to the Democratic debates, and says she doesn’t want the firestorm they had before. She says there will be a lot of young people of both parties there and they want to set a good example. She says “God bless America” will be the “safe” word and if someone hears it, they should check themselves for being too aggressive. Candis is afraid that Cait won’t be able to meet in the middle about her political debates and is afraid she’ll go off on a rant’

The ladies go to Drake University where the debate is being held. It’s also where Cait ran her first decathlon as Bruce. It must be weird, going back to the old places. Zackary says Cait’s conservative politics are of concern to all of them, irritating me. Because everyone has to think the same. There are surprisingly few people at the debate. Cait tries to talk to Kate about Bernie Sander’s policies and Kate God bless Americas the crap out of her. Kate gives her a B+ for listening and communication.

Afterwards. the moderator asks for opinions and points out Cait in particular. She says that transitioning was a cakewalk until people found out she was a Republican. Aren’t we even getting to meet Hilary? Oh, here she is. Caitlyn comes up to Hilary to say hello and introduces the group. Zachary says all of them were star struck, but I dunno about that. Cait says she thought Hilary was “sweet.” That’s probably the only time we’ll ever hear that word in connection with her. Bill Clinton comes in behind, where Hilary makes him walk, and takes a picture with the girls.

The girls go out for dessert. Ella texted a football player she knows from the school, who she wants to get together with. Cait says that she treated Hilary with respect and wants the girls to treat the people at the school with the same respect.

Here’s something else I think. Obviously, Cait has a celebrity status the majority of the population, trans or otherwise, doesn’t, so maybe she’s not the greatest example for the trans community. However, if those same things make people more comfortable with the issues and more willing to be open-minded, why fight that? Erin Brochovich wasn’t afraid to use her femininity to get to the bottom of that drinking water case. Amirite?

Cait says she never wore heels at Graceland, and she’s kind of nervous. She meets her old coaches. She wondered what they’re reaction was going to be and it looks like it’s pretty normal and they’re still proud of her. Ella says she’s not going to be able to talk on stage. She meets her friend, Michael, from high school. The other guy who was supposed to come is AWOL. Candis is bummed, but gives full kudos for Michael. He joins Ella and the girls for lunch. The ladies ask Michael how he felt when he first saw Ella after her transition and he answers appropriately that he was in awe of her gorgeousity.

It’s time for the assembly and the ladies take their places on stage. The professor moderating says there are no wrong questions. The first one is about balancing religion with being a trans person. There is mic drop silence from the girls and Chandi says she’ll take it.

Chandi says that she was told her life was an abomination and lost touch with God. She says she realized that God knew who she was going to be before she was born and she reconnected and now will never let that connection go. Kate says look for the heart of the doctrine you’re following, and if it’s mean, think twice about following it. Sadly, her daughter is high up in the Church of Scientology and she hasn’t seen her daughter since she was nine, because she’s considered evil. They talk about things like pronouns and what it means to be a woman. Ella says she’s the same person she was before the transition, and I go, ahem, thinking about them not allowing Cait that same grace.

One of the kids asks how happy they are. Cait talks about not knowing who she was. Now she’s excited about life, but there was a lot of struggle first. Jenny says it was Cait’s turn to be worried about what they would say, but everyone was respectful and eloquent. I agree. Everyone is proud of everyone.

Cait says that no matter what your situation is, you can live an authentic life. It’s about dealing with all of our stuff, not just trans issues. Candis apologizes for being too hard on Cait and says she’ll be more open to her conservative views. Cait says they’ll have plenty of time.

Next week, Candis flirts with her trainer, and Cait meets with Scott.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — The Reunion, Part Two

Because some new shows started tonight, I couldn’t watch my line-up without something overlapping. I chose to miss the first half of this one, since Once Upon A Time doesn’t repeat and I didn’t want to lose any of I Am Cait. I think those girls have more important things to say than these girls. So we join our program already in progress.

Dylan is there, but gets the bum’s rush before he gets a chance to say much. Andy asks Phaedra about getting her groove back after Apollo going to prison. We flash back to various Phaedra scenes, many with the kids, and of course the visit to the prison. Andy asks about the visit part we didn’t see. Phaedra says she thought it would be more emotional with the kids, but it really wasn’t. She talks about Apollo not wanting the divorce. Andy asks about them going back and Phaedra isn’t too keen on it and talks about some weirdness in the room during the visit and also that the kids got pretty bored after about an hour and it wasn’t like they could just leave.

Phaedra says she’s glad that’s over with, so people can mind their own business. Andy stirs the pot by asking is it anyone in particular. She throws some shade at Kandi, but Kandi says that she just finds it sad that Dylan doesn’t know his dad and one day Apollo will be out of prison, so they need a relationship. Kandi says she has to be honest about the pros and cons as a friend. Phaedra says none of the guys who were his friends have ever checked on the kids seeing if they need a male role model. Cynthia says that she’s told Phaedra she’ll be there if she needs her. It looks to me like Phaedra freezes people out and then gets pissed when they’re not asking if she needs help all the time.

They talk about Phaedra’s boys and it is a little sad. Phaedra talks about them always being her babies and when Aiden said he was afraid, it broke her heart.

Porsha is asked about her strange on-camera relationships. Porsha says she’s not in a relationship with Oliver (the latest), but they speak every day. They move on to the Miami trip. We go back to Kenya asking that weird guy to leave. They talk again about how Porsha and Phaedra acted like Kenya was labeling him as a Black man. It turns out even the president of Black Lives Matter tweeted Porsha and told her to knock it off. Kenya says that the dude had an aggressive and threatening manner toward women, so it wasn’t exactly an example to be setting. Kim said it was more awkward than aggressive and wonders why Kenya didn’t ask security to remove him. Kenya says she went to Tammy first. She says that it turns out the guy also had been involved in unsavory activities.

It’s brought up that it was Kenya who invited him back to the house. She says yes, but with Tammy. Phaedra says it was a case of Kenya wanting him, but him not being receptive. I disagree. The tape shows how aggressive he was and if he hadn’t been and Kenya was interested, she would have just not taken no for an answer, not asked him to leave.

Kandi comes to Kenya’s defense, saying the guy had no right to behave the way he did. She said Kenya did nothing wrong and she can’t believe they all think it was okay. Cynthia admits that had it been anyone else, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. Kandi says at the end of the day, Kenya does some crazy stuff, but regardless of whether you like her or not or what she said was right or not, the guy shouldn’t have behaved the way he did.

Next week, The Reunion, Part Three, Nene shows up in a barely there outfit, Porsha’s violence is called out, and the men join the ladies.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

No reunion yet? How is this show is still on???

Robyn meets Gizelle for lunch. Gizelle toasts to new beginnings. She asks if Juan told Robyn about their conversation. She thinks they should figure out what the end result of their relationship is going to be. Robyn says the “ingredients” are there, but she’s not sure if she wants to be open again. She says if Juan takes an out-of-state job, it will force them to make a decision. Gizelle thinks it’s important for the children as well.

Katie meets with her friend Tia. They talk about Andrew a little and Katie moves on to Karen’s “gala.” Katie says it was more like a cocktail party. Agreed.

At Karen’s house, a family cookout is being planned. Karen says it’s the first time in 19 years that they’ll be alone. She and Ray talk about the gala that wasn’t. Ray asks her about the altercation at the end. Karen says Ashley tried to out-queen her and that wasn’t going to happen. Talk about exaggeration. Jealous much?

Katie and Tia talk about Gizelle. Katie says other than dressing like a prostitute and acting bitchy, Gizelle is a nice person. Better duck. That shade is being pulled down.

Ashley picks up her mother, Sheila, for lunch. Sheila bought a house and had to sue the previous owner. She won the suit, but the amount wasn’t enough to cover everything, so she had to declare bankruptcy. Ashley and Michael want to buy Sheila a new home, but Sheila thinks it’s too big of a gift. Ashley says she’s in the position to do it and she wants to. Sheila says she never wants to be her burden. Ashley says that’s not the case. I say, geez, they have a skabillion dollars, take the house. And pick out a nice house. In her individual interview, Ashley says it’s bizarre that Karen doesn’t want Ashley around her daughter, since she actually makes a pretty good role model.

Charrisse is turning 50 and she says it’s going to be a new Charrisse. She’s going to have a slide show of her pictures during her party. Not too egotistical. Katie comes over to give her modeling tips for her birthday photo shoot. Charrisse says she’s having the party at the Carnegie Library. Her husband can’t make the party, but I don’t think she cares a whole lot.

It’s Rayvin’s going away party and Karen is getting ready with last minute stuff. She’s about to put her feet up for a second, when the bartender shows up, who Karen had no idea was hired by her husband. Spousal communication is a universal problem. She tells Ray he made her look like an idiot and he tells her not to sweat the small stuff.

All the relatives and friends gather in Karen’s backyard for some barbecue. Karen cries on Ray’s shoulder in the kitchen because she’s having a hard time letting go.

Gizelle sits her girls down for a family meeting. She says she’s been dating a little and she wants to talk to them about it. She asks them how they feel about her dating. I suppose the chant of “get a boyfriend” answers that question. Charrisse drops by with her dogs. They chat in the kitchen. Gizelle asks if Eddie is coming to the birthday party. Charrisse says she’d love for him to be there, but it is what it is. She also says the party is totaling around 80 grand, so maybe it’s good he’s not around.

Robyn meets Juan for lunch. Juan wants to be a head coach, but has to work his way up. Robyn asks about the out-of-state job. He says nothing is going on with that yet, and Robyn is relieved.

Charrisse’s birthday is upon us. I’m speechless. I don’t even know what to say about the slide show, giant cake and a billion balloons. Katie says Karen should take note on event planning and I have to agree with that. She also says it’s kind of like a wedding and I have to agree there too. A sad wedding. With just a bride.

Ashley says hello to Karen, who can’t brush her off fast enough. She asks the girls how she became the bad guy all of a sudden. In a moment of the pot calling the kettle black, Gizelle says Ashley can be a bit of a dum-dum. Karen says she doesn’t have time for Ashley’s shenanigans tonight. Gizelle wants them to talk, but doesn’t get anywhere. Ashley catches Karen in the hall and asks if they can talk, but Karen says no, she’s there to enjoy the evening with her husband. In her individual interview, Karen says Ashley doesn’t belong in this world. Does anyone? Ashley is kind of like a persistent puppy and somewhat annoying, but on the other hand, I just don’t see what the big deal is here. I usually don’t when it comes to Karen, who makes it up as she goes along.

Charrisse makes a costume change. Her daughter makes a little speech and it’s very sweet. A reasonably sized cake comes out. Charrisse does some rapping and her father looks less than impressed.

Michael grabs Andrew’s behind. Why? Who knows. Ashley says he’s just being silly. What’s really weird is, Michael and Andrew are talking and having a drink, while the ladies are discussing it. Gizelle asks if butt-grabbing is a white thing. For whatever reason Ashley thought Robyn and Gizelle were bi-racial and they get all offended. Then they go back to more butt-grabbing talk. Zzzzz….

Katie tells Andrew about the discussion. Katie says Robyn and Gizelle seem fixated about how Black they are, and are the most obsessed with race.

Ashley says something to Michael about the butt-grabbing being a white thing and jokes that it is. Ashley says she’s grabbed everyone’s butt except Karen’s. I don’t think I’ve ever grabbed a friend’s butt. Charrisse is happy with her $80,000 party, so that’s all that really matters.

Perhaps Michael has had too much to drink because he gets teary-eyed over how lucky he is to be married to Ashley.

Next week, we still can’t get rid of them, the girls go horseback riding, Ashley wants a baby, and Andrew goes on a golf trip without Katie.

March 20, 2016 — An Exhausting Night of TV

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

When we last left him, Hook had to decide which of his friends would be staying in the Underworld. He refuses. Hades says he’s disappointed…and angry. He sends Hook to solitary. He tells Hook if he touches the River of Lost Souls, he’ll be lost, so he’d better keep his hands inside the boat.

Gold finds a note from Peter saying that the shop is his to do what he wants. He cooks up some eye of newt stuff in a cauldron. He looks into a crystal ball and sees Belle. He drops the ball, smashing it.

The others are planning on springing Hook. Gold comes in to discourage them from their plan. He has an aura of a dead person that he can give himself and Emma to get through. He knows someone who will give them their aura.

Back in the old days, a snake has bitten Gold’s son.

Gold sees his wife as a crossing guard in the Underworld. He tells her he’s not dead, just visiting. He says her job is ironic, keeping children safe. He asks her if she wants to go on a romantic adventure and says they need to get Hook. She says she’s responsible for the children, and he says, um… they’re dead already. He asks if she’ll help him if it means saving Hook. Hmm….

Hook is being held by Hades above the River of Lost Souls. Hades tells Hook that they brought contraband into his world, which is forbidden, and he still sees hope in Hook’s eyes. He wants it to be gone before Hook reaches the water. He tells Hook to feel free to go mad.

Gold introduces Mila, his ex-wife (and Hook’s ex), to Emma. Mila is like, you’ve been with my ex-lover and son (Neil). Gold says they’ll laugh about it one day.

Regina approaches Cruella. She wants to know how to find someone in the graveyard. Cruella says let’s sit down and be civilized.

Gold, Mila and Emma join hands to get through a barrier to the low place of the Underworld. The Under Underworld, if you will. The door slams shut behind them.

Olden days Gold and his wife approach a witch doctor for a snake bite cure. He says the potion is very rare and will cost 100 gold pieces. They don’t have it and leave, but Mila says they’ll come back and take it.

Emma thanks Mila and tells her that she’s had a vision of Neil and he’s moved on and is happy. Whatever he had to resolve, is done. They’re at the River of Lost Souls where there’s a boat. Mila says they can take it to Hook. She has her reasons to want to come with them.

Regina asks if she finds a headstone if that means the person is in “Underbrooke.” Cruella says no, it might mean they’re just passing through. Cruella happens to have a cemetery plot map on her, which is pretty convenient. One color means they’re there, another they’re just passing through and another means they’ve moved on.

Emma, Gold and Mila take the boat to where Hook is. Gold tells Emma he’s staying in the boat and she’ll be fine on her own. Mila stays with him.

Olden days Mila buys a dagger with their last gold coin for Gold/Rumpel to kill the witch doctor. She tells him to do something brave for once. He leaves and some brute tries to pick Mila up. Hook intervenes. He introduces himself. Mila asks him if it’s wonderful to travel the ocean. He says it’s pretty amazing and asks her if she’d like to see it. She says she has responsibilities of a husband and child. I’m guessing they “hooked” up later? Hahahahaha!

Hook dangles over the water and drops further down when Emma comes in. She walks out onto a platform above the water toward him. I love the sets in this show! She manages to grab Hook and get him onto something stable. He tells her she should leave. Of course she won’t. Like she traveled all that way just to leave him there.

Mila talks to Gold while they’re waiting. She tells him her unfinished business wasn’t Hook, it was their son. She should have been there for him instead of punishing him because she hated Rumpel. She wants to move on so she can see him and apologize. Gold says he betrayed him as well and was forgiven, and he’ll forgive Mila.

Rumpel sneaks into the witch doctor’s tent. The doctor wakes up and says he cold kill Rumpel with a single spell, but does nothing because he knows Rumpel doesn’t have the guts to kill him. He asks how much Rumpel’s son means to him. Rumpel says everything. He says Rumpel can leave with the cure and they can make a deal. He says he would trade anything to save his son.

Hades shows up, but tells Gold he’s not there to fight. He wants to make a deal.

Snow meets Regina in the graveyard. They find Daniel Colter’s grave. Regina knows he’s not there and happy. She says he was her first love and will always live in her heart.

Gold has a drink with Hades who says he’s a fan. He says he’s been a good supplier of souls. He wants Gold to sink the boat so that his friends don’t have a way out. Gold says he can do it himself. Hades says he could, but he wants Gold to do it. Gold says Mila already saw Hades, but Hades says Gold can figure that one out.

Rumpel brings the cure back and says he didn’t even have to steal it. He says he didn’t want his son to grow up with a monster as a father, so he signed a paper saying he’d give the witch doctor his second child. Mila says he sold their future. He says the son they already have is all the future they need. Mila says thanks for deciding her future for her. Typical man. She says she’s going to the tavern.

Gold destroys the boat and tells Mila, congratulations, he’s finally become the man she wanted him to be — the one who takes what he needs. He dumps her into the river.

Emma and Hook appear, and Gold tells them Hades blew his magic back at him and that’s how Mila disappeared.

Regina and Snow come upon a hurt horse. Regina cures it and it gives her a thank you look. Snow is surprised that Regina’s magic worked.

Hook, Emma and Gold join the others. Hook says they lost the boat and a friend though. He tells Gold he should kill him, but he did help him get out, so they’re even for now. Gold says he just wants to get home and you’re welcome. Regina tells them her magic is working and as soon as they find an exit, they can get out. All of a sudden her magic won’t work though.

Regina, Snow and Emma are stuck in the Underworld.

Gold pops back to where the witch doctor lives, in full Rumpel regalia. He says the doctor took advantage of him and he admires that, but he wants to dissolve the contract. He says he can’t owe a debt to a dead man and takes his heart, saying he loves a loophole.

Gold comes to see Hades. He says he destroyed the boat, now send him home. Hades says things have changed. He’ll send him home, but not today. He says Gold tried to hide something from him and looks into the crystal ball to see Belle. He says he did a little digging and thinking, and knows Gold was trying to figure out where his son went. He says Belle is an image of his next child because Belle is pregnant. He produces the witch doctor. He says death doesn’t nullify a contract in the Underworld and the doctor signed it over to him. He says at any time he can cash the debt in and take Gold’s baby.

All magic comes with a price. The price is that Gold works for Hades. And there’s something he needs Gold to do that only he can do.

Next week, Hook begins a mutiny, Hook’s brother shows up, and Hook wants to move on from Emma.

The Walking Dead

All seems calm in Alexandria. Carol is back and on the porch having a smoke. Morgan is practicing free masonry. Rick comes by to see Morgan. Morgan is building a jail cell to give him some choices next time.

Why are we seeing the same scene we just saw? Different perspectives? Yes. Carol examines her rosary and Rosita gets dressed.

Daryl takes a toy soldier out of a pouch and tosses it aside. Carol comes by and he asks for a smoke. They’d better start growing tobacco if they want to keep this up. She asks about the people who stole his bike after he saved them. He says he should have killed them.

Daryl asks what the Saviors did to Carol and Maggie. She says they didn’t do anything.

Spencer asks Rosita what they’re doing. She says dinner, but I think he means about their relationship.

Denise shows Daryl where an apothecary is and asks to go on the next run. He asks how much time she’s spent on the outside. She says none, but she can identify the drugs there. She says she’ll go alone if she has to.

Daryl, Denise and Rosita go on a run. Daryl is having a hard time driving a stick (something I find more unbelievable than zombies existing) and Denise tells him she can drive one. He stops the car and he and Rosita get out. Rosita dispatches a zombie and goes through his pockets.

They get Denise and decide to walk. Rosita wants to take the railroad tracks and separates from Daryl and Denise.

Eugene and Abe discuss being a man. Eugene says, the key to survival is allowing oneself to be shaped by the environment. He says he’s changed and adapted and he’s a survivor. Abe says keep telling yourself that.

Denise and Daryl meet Rosita at the crossroad. Denise asks Rosita who taught her to fight. She says a lot of people taught her a lot of things. Everyone is a font of information tonight. They approach the apothecary and Daryl opens the door with a crowbar.

Abe and Eugene enter a building. Abe asks what they’re doing. Eugene says they’re going to manufacture bullets, using spent casings. I’m not sure why someone hasn’t suggested this before, even though Abe acts like it’s “outside the box” thinking. A zombie comes in and Eugene wants to be the one to kill it, but it has metal over it’s head and Abe steps in. Eugene says he had dibs and Abe says he’d have better luck picking up a turd by the clean end. Eugene says killing zombies is in his skill set and Abe says manufacturing bullets is in his skill set. Eugene says he doesn’t need Abe or his protection anymore. Abe tells Eugene to find his own way back. Why did Eugene act like such a d-bag there?

Commercial break. Fear 462. Potential zombie dispatched. Obrecht freaking out. Plane window cracked.

Rosita, Daryl and Denise enter the apothecary. They find the pharmacy area. Rosita breaks open the gate. Daryl says they’re going to take everything. They probably should. They’ll need it sooner or later. They hear some noises and Denise decides she’s going to kill whatever it is. What is up with the minor characters proving their bravery tonight?

Denise opens a door to an empty crib and a bunch of garbage. There’s a zombie wearing a cast on the floor and a sink full of blood with a little sneaker floating in it. WTF? Denise runs out of the room and goes outside. She sits on the sidewalk and is bummed by everything.

Daryl and Rosita come out. Daryl tells her she did good finding the place. Rosia says she tried to tell Denise she wasn’t ready. They walk back to the car.

Denise tells Daryl about her brother Denis. She says he was brave and angry, a dangerous combination. Daryl says it sounds like they had the same brother. Denise approaches a car and a zombie pops up making us both jump. She thinks there’s a cooler in the car they can use. Daryl tells her forget it, but she decides to try anyway. The zombie grabs her and they tumble to the ground. Denise makes her first zombie kill. Guess she was a little ready. She throws up. Okay, maybe not so much ready. She lost her glasses in the frey and finds soda in the cooler. Daryl says she could have died. She says if you want to live, you take chances. He says, for a couple of sodas? She says, no, just his one

Rosita asks if she’s that’s stupid. Denise asks her if she is. Denise says she’s training for this, and not making it up to go along. She says she asked them to be with her because Daryl is brave and Rosita is stronger than she thinks she is, giving Denise hope. She says she cold have gone with Tara and told her she loved her, but she was afraid. She says she needed to do this and can’t believe they’re not being supportive. She says they’re strong and they’re smart and —

Hole m-f-ing-f! Denise gets an arrow though the eye while she’s talking and a huge group of guys come out of the woods. They have Eugene. I think I’ve stopped breathing forever.

Dwight, on of the people who stole Daryl’s bike, asks Daryl if he has something to say. Nope. A couple of the men pat Rosita and Daryl down on the ground. Daryl says he should have killed him. Dwight says yeah, he probably should have, and asks who brought this on who? He says she wasn’t who he was aiming for. He says it’s not how they like to start new business arrangements, but he didn’t start this. By the way, he used Daryl’s crossbow to kill Denise.

Rosita asks what they want. He says they’re going to let them into Alexandria and take whatever or whoever they want, or they’re going to blow all three of their brains out. Eugene tells them to start with whoever is hiding behind the barrels and that he deserves it more than they do.

One of the guys goes to check it out and Eugene bites Dwight in the man parts. Chaos ensues with everybody shooting and then zombies joining the mix. I still haven’t started breathing again. Dwight manages to escape getting shot and those who are left flee into the woods. Daryl starts to follow, but Rosita stops him.

Wow. This sux. Eugene is wounded too. Rosita says the f-word, even though we don’t hear it. Denise lies dead on the railroad tracks.

The rest make it back to Alexandria. Eugene tells Abe he wasn’t trying to kill him and asks for an apology for trashing his skills. Abe apologizes and says welcome to stage two. Abe goes to see Sasha. She asks if he’s okay. He says she told him he has choices and that she does too. He says it could be 30 years for them there. She asks him to come inside.

Daryl and Carol bury Denise. Carol tells Daryl he was right.

Carol leaves a note for Tobin. She says she didn’t want it to end this way. They have everything they need and other people want it. She says she loves them all and would have to kill for them and she can’t. She says she wound up staying, but can’t anymore. She can’t love anyone because she can’t kill for anyone and asks that they not come after her. It’s thar same beginning scene again and Morgan sees Carol’s empty swing.

Next week, Rick gets a message, Daryl goes off on his motorcycle (presumably not to find himself), and Rick tells everyone to get ready for a fight.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — The Reunion — Part One

Kandi is looking awesome and says baby Ace is doing well. Kim looks the best I’ve seen her like she’s channeling Marilyn Monroe. We take a trip down Memory Lane with some flashbacks from the season.

Andy asks why gave the best shade, and called Phaedra “Shadera.” Ha-ha! We go over some insults from the past season. Kenya gets into it with Phaedra pretty quickly. Go for it, Kenya, because I’ve started to dislike Phaedra intensely.

Andy asks Porsha about trashing Kenya’s new product and she says it was fun. Either she didn’t understand the question or she’s even more stupid than I thought. Next up is Kandi’s baby and family drama. After the flashbacks, Todd joins the group. Baby Ace has over 100K Instagram followers. And they haven’t even shown a picture of him yet. I’m speechless.

They talk about the restaurant venture. They’re hoping to open on Kandi’s birthday. They follow with TMI about Kandi’s breast milk.

Andy asks Sheree how it’s been being back on the show. Sheree says it was all good. They talk about Kim’s first season. Are there more flashbacks than usual? Andy asks Kim if she thinks the show is a good fit for her. She says it was entertaining. Andy asks the other women what they think. It’s a no for Kenya. She says Kim is pretty condescending. Kandi says Kim doesn’t want to deal with confrontation and a that’s what a lot of the show is about. Phaedra and Porsha kind of say the same thing, that she doesn’t engage and is judgmental. Porsha says she expected her to be “the aunt” of the group. Kim says she’s more opinionated than judgmental. Cynthia says she didn’t really hang out with the group and Kim says most people don’t know she’s shy.

They talk about the trip to Washington. Kim says it was presented as an educational tool. Sheree asks why she thought it wasn’t appropriate for the kids then. Sheree says it was a good experience for her son, however, he is nineteen and Kim’s kids are still pretty small. Personally, I think Kim is a compelling choice for the show, but she did seem like she didn’t want to be a part of it a lot of the time. I understand wanting some free travel and a weekly paycheck, but still.

The topic of Phaedra not paying Todd for the exercise video comes up. Well, Andy brings it up as Chief Pot Stirrer. Phaedra says she’s made every step to move toward a better place. Kandi says they both want things to be better. Kandi brings up several idiotic remarks Phaedra made. Phaedra says again that she’s done what she can and she was annoyed about Apollo’s stuff being at their house without her knowledge.

Phaedra says that Kandi claimed she was trying to get sympathy, but that wasn’t the case, and she’s not fake, she’s just trying to be polite. They talk about Apollo’s stuff again. Kandi says she didn’t think it was any kind of secret. The Todd thing comes up again and we are caught in a loop. Phaedra says she’s paid up now, as of last week. Convenient timing.

Andy asks if Kandi’s “team” overstepped their boundaries. Kandi doesn’t think so, and neither do I. Phaedra says it’s unprofessional for employees to act like friends. They are friends, so how should they behave? Porsha puts in her two cents. If she had half a brain, she’d be dangerous.

The topic of physical violence comes up. Porsha talks about Kenya’s big mouth, but Kenya says she’s never actually put her hands on anyone, unlike Porsha. Andy catches Kenya texting Matt about the dog. Flashbacks about Kim and Kenya’s continuous altercation.

Kim does give Kenya compliments on Kenya’s flair for comedy, and that she’s not afraid to be a pretty girl who’s not playing “pretty.” That’s a nice compliment, although Kenya says that Kim threw shade when she watched Kenya’s pilot with her husband. Kim says her problem isn’t with Kenya’s acting, but with her personally. Sheree wonders where this Kim has been all year.

They talk about the commercial for Cynthia’s eye wear. More talk about Kenya and Kim, and Kenya apologizing to Kim. Porsha, who can’t stand that it’s not about her, talks about her own apology to Kenya for going crazy on her at the last reunion, and says it’s wasn’t accepted. Kenya says that’s because she never apologized. Cynthia tells Porsha she needs to cool down and we see Porsha’s attack on Cynthia. I heard we’re going to see some footage regarding Porsha’s attack on one of her assistants. A budding Naomi Campbell. If she was better looking and had a brain.

Kim is talking about something when Kenya interrupts, then Porsha interrupts Kenya, so I have no idea what anyone just said. Andy asks if Kenya is jealous of Kim. Kenya says Kim was a child star and she can’t compare that, but Kim is in her playing field now and is low man on the totem pole. She talks about Kim acting more high and mighty than she should. She says she’s not personally offended, but thinks Kim is arrogant.

Kandi says she enjoys seeing Kim “boss up,” since she’s usually quiet. Kim gets excited over the support. Kenya talks about Kim and her husband belittling her. Kim interrupts about Kenya interrupting. I’m lost. Kim says interruption is a form of bullying. Kenya says she’s the one who’s been bullied on the show.

Next week, part two, Apollo won’t let go, a revisit to Sheree’s wig pull, Peter joins the group, and Porsha accuses Kenta of dating a married one-eyed African. Is he rich?

I Am Cait

It’s snowing in New Mexico. The ladies meet for breakfast. Candis has a date. Candis says she’s not that excited, since her online dating experience so far as been dismal.

Cait’s new driver’s license arrives. The photo is great, but both Kim and Kourtney helped her get ready, so that’s cheatinh. Cait says it’s kind of like throwing old Bruce out the door. Cait says he was a good person who did a lot of good things, and in some ways didn’t deserve to disappear, but she had to move forward. It’s not that she wanted to throw him away; he just wasn’t her. It’s a huge moment and she gives a mini eulogy.

Cait is gong to NY to receive Glamour’s Woman of the Year award and says it’s for all of them.

Candis is about to meet her date. Cait says she sees what the other women go through and thinks the rejection is difficult. While the ladies have drinks at one of the bar’s tables, Candis waits at another table for her date. Who doesn’t show. Zackary and Cait join her. Candis goes back to the table with everyone. Geez.

The ladies go to a farm that has animal therapy to pet Silkie chickens. They’re pretty cute. The producer asks Candis if she can relate the chicken experience to her dating situation and she makes a cock joke. The therapist says that it’s hard to tell whether Silkies are male or female. The irony isn’t lost.

Next is a Salsa class. The dancing, not the dip. Cait says she’s not comfortable dancing with guys. She’s afraid that the tabloids will get pictures as well. Candis says Cait hasn’t embraced that part of her feminine side yet and says she’ll be her dancing partner. I can totally understand why Cait would be uncomfortable here.

It’s time for Cait to leave for NYC. The rest of the group is going on to Tulsa. Candis talks about a friend of hers who works a drag show in Chicago. She wants to do a number with her and Chandi. Chandi says she misses the old days when she used to perform.

They stop at a restaurant and aren’t allowed to eat there. The restaurant owner didn’t want them there when he found out what show was being filmed. Kind of sad. Next is a rock climbing gym. These girls have more energy than I could ever hope to have. I would have been totally bummed after the restaurant scene too. Chandi breaks a nail and she’s done. They’ve also joined up with two male trans models who they invite to dinner.

They reconvene at a place called Legends that has a mechanical bull. What vitamins do they take? Candis considers dating a trans guy.

Cait is getting her makeup done. She talks about how her greatest fear was once being thought of as a freak, and how everyone has been so accepting. She gets to the red carpet. Kylie is supposed to be her date, but she’s late, so Cait has to go on by herself.

Kylie meets Cait at the hotel later. She says her dressed totally ripped, but Cait says they could have worked around it. Cait says she’s disappointed, but at least Kylie made it for the actual award show, which I guess we don’t get to see.

The rest of the gang heads for Chicago. I’m exhausted just watching this episode. Cait meets them there. Candis tells Cait about the drag show. Debbie Downer Jenny says that some come from a showbiz universe and some don’t, but she looks at things from a different perspective. Instead of seeing life as a performance, she wants to see it in reality. (Can’t it be both?) Chandi talks about how those were the roots and the saving grace of many a trans person, and while she gets where Jenny is coming from, she’s surprised she doesn’t understand the other side of it as well.

Chandi talks to Candis about how Jenny feels about drag. Candis says that Jenny and Cait come from a different place, and they hid things differently. Chandi says drag helped save her from being a gay boy in a closet. She talks about her parents, who sound like good people. She starts to cry and Candis hugs her. She works with young people and takes a lot of their problems to heart, even though she comes off as happy-go-lucky most of the time.

Out to the bar at the hotel. Cait is wearing a really cool graphic sweater that has a tape measure across it. The girls are mingling. Candis says Cait doesn’t know how to flirt with men and wants to leave. Cait goes back to her room.

She and Candis get together for some girl talk before bed. Candis says she’s hoping Cait will be open to new dating situations. Cait says she sees the struggle of going out with someone and then them not wanting to be seen together and says she couldn’t handle it. Candis asks what her main fear is, and Cait says she hasn’t even been able to approach the subject with a man yet.

Cait says she thought about bringing up the possibility of her dating to Kylie, and she couldn’t even think about it. Cait says her dating a man might be confusing for the kids. Candis says she’s allowed to go out and have fun and experiment. Cait says maybe it will help thinking of it as an experiment. Candis says they both need to broaden their horizons.

Jenny and Zackary talk about the show. Jenny says she wants to celebrate everyone’s way of being, but also celebrate her own. Zackary says the trans community is split on the issue, but friends should support each other. She says embracing differences is Jenny’s challenge. Jenny says she understands that the drag world saved Chandi’s life.

It’s been a long time since Chandi performed and she’s nervous. Candis does a performance with another performer and they introduce Chandi — now Chandelier. Of course she’s fabulous.

Cait says everyone is taking risks on the trip, and even Jenny is shoving dollar bills in Chandi’s bra. Chandi says it was a reconnecting moment with yourself. She says no matter who you are you can enjoy drag.

Next week, a protest, public speaking and the democratic debate.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Is it over yet? Where did these women come from anyway? I actually like the Australian guy the best.

Gizelle is meeting with a skin chemist. She’s starting a makeup an skincare line. The chemist says they need a focus group and Gizelle knows just the women.

It’s Katie’s twins’ birthday. She and Andrew have the same couch pillow I do. It’s in a Southwestern design with a buffalo on it. Katie tells Andrew she needs a vacation from her vacation. I’ll bet. She tells him about the sister circle and how it was a downer. She leaves out the part about Gizelle being an idiot. She’s also decided to put casino night on the back burner for a few months because she has other things that need her attention. And one of them isn’t going to be Gizelle’s focus group either.

Karen is planning an event in memory of her mother-in-law to fight against Altzheimers. She wants it to be a magical evening, as well as an informative one. Karen’s husband joins them and Karen asks for entertainment suggestions. Karen’s assistant gives him some options, but he wants to scale it down. He asks for time alone with Karen and they discuss it. He feels his mother’s death is still too raw for such a huge event.

Gizelle has rented a bar to do the focus groups. I’ve done focus groups and this is pretty swanky. Usually, you just sit around a table and discuss. Ashley approaches Gizelle about the incident at the beach. Gizelle says it wasn’t so much that her husband showed up, but that some of the girls (i.e. Karen) felt disrespected. Charrisse has decided she wants to let go of petty things.

Gizelle, who is light-skinned with green eyes, says when she was growing up, people pegged her as mean or stuck up because of the way she looked. She says she didn’t come into her own beautywise until she was in her 40s.

Karen says it’s similar to Bare Minerals, but she’s supportive. Katie is a no-show, which Karen finds rude.

Katie is busy with the Rost Foundation, or as she says, real work. I have news for her, at my age, makeup is real work.

After the focus group, there’s food and drink for the ladies. Ashley decides to approach Karen. Karen feels it was rude of Michael to just show up the way he did. She says immaturity wrecked the weekend. Gizelle suggests they agree to disagree and let the men settle any beef. Ashley wonders what the men might do. Duel?

Robyn and Juan are still in limbo over whether or not he got an out-of-state coaching job. Robyn tells him about the beach trip. She tells him about how she had to room with Gizelle, but it made her feel nostalgic. They talk about when they met. Juan remembers that they talked about The Young and the Restless. They’re putting together some kind of storage cabinet. Robyn says the reason she doesn’t want to get back together with him totally is because of his cheating in the past.

Karen and Ashley meet for golf with their husbands. Karen is hoping the men can iron (no pun intended) things out about the beach incident. Why anything needs to be ironed out is beyond me and I think Ashley feels the same way.

Karen tells Ray that she and Ashley have come to an impasse. Michael feels he did nothing wrong, but is open to hearing what the problem was. Ray says he doesn’t need Michael seeing his wife in skimpy outfits as girls are wont to wear at these things. The guys make jokes and they move to the next hole. Karen feels like she was finally heard, and Ashley is glad to be back in Karen’s good graces, but this all seems ridiculous to me. While I understand what Karen’s gripe is, to go on about it at this level is insane.

Charrisse is about to turn 50. She says water is a sign of new beginnings, so she’s going to learn to swim. She had a bad experience with snorkeling when she was younger, and didn’t get back in the water again. I can’t imagine not taking every opportunity possible to get in the water.

Karen is flower shopping for her event. She’s looking for cherry blossoms, but they’re only available in the spring. Karen won’t believe it, but you’d think that’s something she would know living in the DC area. They get some kind of roses instead.

Everyone is getting ready for Karen’s event. Katie is actually going to two different events and is going to change in the car. Karen has turned this into a launching party for a bigger gala later.

I hate to say this, but this looks like anybody else’s party. Katie is a little startled too, so at least I know it’s not me. Don’t get me wrong, she’s got an amazing house, but the decor is basically little tables with rose centerpieces scattered throughout the dining room. Gizelle says something to Katie about not showing up for the focus group, and Katie pretends to be sorry.

Karen tells the girls all about how Ray gave Michael “the business” at the golf course. Really? Ray gives the floor to Karen. Ashley and Michael are at the door and the bell repeatedly rings as she’s speaking. The jazz musicians hired for the event finally answer the door. Of course Karen is appalled by this behavior.

Ashley tells Gizelle there was no business to give and wonders what Karen has been telling people. At this point, she says Karen isn’t approaching her efforts or respecting her. Ashley tells the other girls that Karen doesn’t want her daughter around them. Karen comes by and says she never said that; she said she didn’t want her daughter hanging out with Ashley specifically.

Karen says she’s done with Ashley. She says the last straw for her was Ashley saying something about her daughter. Charrisse says she has to apologize to Karen. Ashley tells Michael that Karen is upset with her. Michael says apparently they’re not wanted there. Karen makes sure to let the others know that she only meant her daughter is not to be around Ashley, who is closer to her age. For some reason it’s this huge deal that Ashley spoke her daughter’s name and it seems to have turned Karen into Maleficent.

Next week, we continue to be tortured, Gizelle’s kids want her to get a boyfriend, Karen and Ray are empty nesters, Juan has to make a job decision, and Charrisse has a birthday.

March 13, 2016 — Fairy Tales, Trans Tales & Wives Tales

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hook is told by his cell mate, Meg, that he can’t escape. He says he’s not going to sit around and rot, and that someone is there to save him. Meg asks how he knows it isn’t a trick. He says when you love someone, you know. They both make a break for it. Meg gets out, but Hook is stopped by Cerebus, the three-headed dog. He tells Meg to find Emma.

Snow and David are wandering the graveyard. She says they were all her subjects and she was supposed to protect them. She wonders how they can protect their daughter, but David says she’s not alone this time.

Young Snow’s kingdom is being terrorized. She isn’t sure what to do, but Regina tells her that everything will be fine. Snow runs out of the palace and into the woods. She falls into a hole and a young man saves her. It’s Hercules.

Snow sees Herc’s grave and tells David that she and Hercules were friends when they were young. She says if he’s there, he has unfinished business and they have to help him move on. If they help him, he can help them.

Regina says there’s no sign of Hook in the North Woods. She sends Robin with Henry to get some maps from her office. Emma sees blood on a plant and she and Regina follow the trail. They find Meg who says she can take them to Hook. They hear the roar of Cerebus close behind.

Emma and Regina go to Snow and David’s underworld apartment. Meg tells them that Hook is in an underground cave. She tells them about Cerebus and how nothing can defeat him. Snow and David show up and Snow says she knows exactly how he can be defeated.

Young Herc tells Snow about his demi-godness. She wonders how she’s going to defeat the kingdom’s foes, and Herc says he’ll teach her. She doesn’t think she can do it, but Herc says he’ll show her how to stand up to her enemies. He shows her medals he’s won for various labors, kind of like Scout badges. His last labor is defeating Cerebus and he wants to spend as much time with her as possible before he has to leave.

Regina goes to the diner which is run by the witch from Hansel and Gretel. She tells them that Hercules comes in there on his lunch break. Apparently, he works on the docks, which is where Snow finds him.

Snow asks how Herc died, but he says it’s not important. He asks why she’s there and she says to help her daughter. Snow tells him there’s a way for him to leave the underworld. Herc says he never finished his final labor and Snow tells him Cerebus is there. She tells him what he once told her, that you can’t let fear of failure stop you from trying.

Hades pops in on Hook. He sees Hook has been bitten by Cerebus and tells him the dog’s master isn’t nearly as friendly.

Robin and Henry have difficulty getting into Regina’s office because Cora has it locked up. Henry goes through the ventilation system. Cruella is waiting for them and asks Henry how his mother has been since she killed Cruella.

Herc leads the others to where Hook is and tells them to wait.

Young Snow comes upon some of her subjects being shaken down. She threatens them with her bows and arrows, but ends up dropping the quiver and arrows go everywhere. Herc steps in, and the villains leave, but the head bandit says Herc can’t protect her forever.

Behind Snow’s back, Regina is meeting with the head bandit. She’s been working with them to defeat Snow, so that the people will realize she’s the only queen for them.

Herc meets Cerebus, drops his sword and runs. Where’s Kevin Sorbo when you need him? Kevin Sorbo wouldn’t have run. Snow is about to draw her bow, when Hades calls Cerebus off. Regina asks why hell looks like Storybrooke, but he won’t tell her. He does let her know that Cerebus killed Herc, who is also his nephew. He tells Snow the next time she interferes with his family, he’ll interfere with hers.

Emma says they have to find Hook. Hades shows her Hook’s bloody hook. She asks what Hades did to him, and Hades says she shouldn’t worry about what he’s done, but what he’s about to do. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke.

Henry asks what Cruella wants. She says she wants his help. She wants to go back to the real world. She misses the music, the gin, the glamour and the gin. He says he destroyed the quill, and she says when he did that, he sent the quill to the underworld. She says if she comes back to life, his mother is no longer a murderer and can be restored to the pure soul she once was.

Snow is ready to throw in the towel. Regina says she was on the losing end of a battle with Snow and became her friend, which is pretty phenomenal. Regina says they don’t need Mary Margaret anymore. They need Snow White.

Young Snow is also feeling defeated. She tells Herc she doesn’t want to be Snow White anymore and she was crazy to think she could stand up to the bandits. Herc says no one wins every battle, especially their first one. He says his first labor nearly killed him, and he won by accident. He says if he’d never failed, he wouldn’t hae figured out how to succeed.

In Hades, Snow is trying to convince Herc to help them. She asks how Cerebus killed him and he says since Cerebus has three heads, he shouldn’t have fought him alone. Snow says he won’t be alone this time.

At the apartment, Cerebus comes crashing through the ceiling. Cool!

The bandits are at it again and Snow tells them to lay off and get lost. She draws the bow on them. At first the guy laughs, but her next arrow means business and it gets the subjects moving too. They pick up pitchforks and whatever else they can get their hands on, making me wonder why they didn’t do this before. The villains drop their weapons and leave. Herc says Snow doesn’t need him any more and she’s going to make an amazing queen. She says he’s not a bad demi-god himself. They kiss.

The Storybrooke gang splits up. Snow and Herc find Meg, but Cerebus is right behind them. They dash into the nearest building. Snow says they have to get all three heads at once and Herc gives Meg a dagger. Cerebus comes busting through the wall and they get each of the heads. Cerebus disappears, poof! in a cloud of black smoke.

Herc tells Meg he thinks they’ve met before. She says he’s the boy who tried to save her and Cerebus killed her after he killed Herc. He says he’s sorry and Meg says he made up for it just now. Snow says maybe Cerebus wasn’t Herc’s only unfinished business and that he was supposed to save Meg too. Snow says she doesn’t want to be Mary Margaret any more; she wants to be Snow White again.

Henry tells Robin he couldn’t find anything in the office.

Meg gives Emma a map to find Hook and says to thank him for her. Herc tells Snow he was right and that she became an amazing hero. He and Meg join hands and head for Olympus, as their unfinished business is now finished.

Hades is pretty pissed that Hook helped Meg escape. He gives Hook some kind of stick. He says Hook’s friends have caused too much damage. He says for every soul they free, one of them will have to stay and Hook has to decide who.

Next week, Gold and Hades do battle, and Hook has to make a decision.

The Walking Dead

Maggie and Carol are captured. A redhead, who we learn later is Paula, sees Rick and the gang through binoculars and tells them over the loudspeaker to lower their weapons. Rick says come out and let’s talk. She says they won’t come out but they’ll talk and tells Rick they have Carol and Maggie.

Rick says they have one of theirs and let’s trade. Rick says they can have their guy, Primo, back if they give up Carol and Maggie. The group argues among themselves. Paula says she’ll get back to him.

Maggie and Carol get coats throw over their heads and are shoved into a car. Paula is trying to contact other Saviors to meet them at some contact point. Maggie and Carol are taken to a “safe house,” where they’re bound and gagged. Paula tells them don’t even think about a way out. She says she’s itching to kill them, so just try and see what happens.

As soon as she’s gone, Maggie tries cutting her bonds on a concrete post. Carol seriously starts to freak out and hyper-ventilate. Paula comes back with an older lady and a wounded guy. They finally take the gags off of Carol and Maggie. Older Lady tells Carol to take some yoga breaths. Carol holds a rosary and Older Lady says, oh, you’re one of those. One of whats?

Paula asks Carol if she’s afraid to die. Carol says it doesn’t matter what happens to her, but don’t hurt Maggie and the baby. Paula tells Maggie it’s pretty stupid to get knocked up at a time like this. Paula says the point is to stay standing. Maggie says walkers do that and she’s doing something brave. Older Lady is having a cigarette, and Maggie says something about the baby. Older Lady says she has a lot worse problems than second hand smoke. Carol tells her cigarettes will kill her. Older Lady coughs up blood and says they already have.

Wounded Guy isn’t doing well. Paula says in 30 minutes the crew will be there. Maggie says he doesn’t have 30 minutes. He needs to lose the arm. She suggests they talk to Rick. Paula tells Wounded Guy 30 minutes. He gets all bent out of shape and wants to kill Carol and Maggie, or at least shoot Carol in the arm. Paula tells him to shut up. He goes after Carol and Maggie knocks him down and then head butts him. He gets up and starts kicking Carol, but Paula stops him. She tells one of the others to take Maggie out and see if she knows anything.

Some girl interrogates Maggie. She wants to know where Rick and the gang are holed up, and says Maggie’s people are not the good guys. Maggie throws up.

Carol thanks Paula for helping them. Carol says her husband used to beat her. Paula says she doesn’t care and she knows exactly who Carol is, pathetic. (Wouldn’t that be what Carol is?) She asks Carol if she really believes in that crap, referring to the rosary. Carol says faith got her through the death of her daughter.

Maggie asks Interrogator Girl what’s up with her missing finger. She says she got caught stealing. Maggie asks about her tattoo that says “Frankie.” She says it was her father’s name and it’s what she was going to name her baby. Maggie says she’s sorry and Interrogator Girl says probably not really. Maggie says she’s not planning on dying today and Interrogator Girl says neither is she, but one of them is wrong.

Paula radios Rick. He says they can make a trade, but she says they haven’t agreed. She says they’ll be taking most of the risk without much reward. Carol tells Paula they don’t have to fight. Paula says Carol’s people killed her people. Carol says the Saviors ambushed them and took everything they had. Paula says they shouldn’t have come to the camp to kill everyone. Carol says their leader is a nut. Older Lady says they’re all Negan. Carol asks what that means. I’d like to know too. Did they eat him?

Older Lady is chain-smoking and Carol asks her for one. Older Lady obliges. Paula tells Carol she’s weak and asks her what she’s afraid of. She says Carol can’t even stick to her own principles. Paula says before the apocalypse, she was a secretary. She tells some story about a carrot, egg, and coffee beans all being boiled. The carrot ends up soft, the egg gets hard, and the coffee beans changed the water. She worked in Washington when the military took over. The important people were evacuated first and she was stuck with her boss instead of her family. She says her boss was weak and stupid, and he was the first person she killed.

She says she’s still alive. Carol says her people are killers. She says Paula is the one who’s afraid to die, and she will. She asks whats’ going to happen if they don’t work things out. Paula asks if Carol is going to kill her and Carol says she hopes not.

Commercial break. Fear 462. A zombie gets a knitting needle to the head.

Paula radios Rick and says they’ll make a trade. She gives him a meeting spot. Paula thinks they’re waiting to kill them the second they come out the door. Carol says Rick is a man of his word and he wouldn’t put her and Maggie at risk. Paula radios her other people and says they have to be ready to move. They don’t take Carol or Maggie, so I guess they’re going to ambush Rick.

Carol gets free of her bonds using the rosary. She finds Maggie and gets her loose. They hug and I yell at them not to waste time. Maggie says they have to finish things. Maggie finds Wounded Guy, but it’s too late, he’s dead.

Older Lady is wandering around the halls and Wounded Now Dead Guy is now Undead Guy and attacks her. Maggie finishes her off from behind and beats the ever-living crap out of her. Paula comes back to everyone gone.

Maggie and Carol have to get past a bunch of zombies to get out. Paula comes up behind them and Carol draws her gun. Paula says go ahead since Rick and company have taken everything anyway. Maggie runs into Interrogator Girl in the hallway. They fight and Carol shoots her. Paula, who’s gotten shot in the leg, says she gets Carol’s deal now, but what was she so afraid of? Carol says she told her to run. She says she was afraid of this, meaning shooting Paula, but her hesitation costs her. Paula knocks the gun out of her hand and they tussle. Paula ends up getting impaled on a pipe and eaten by a zombie. She should have run when Carol told her to. Carol tells Rick to meet them.

The people Paula had radioed come back. Carol lights up some gasoline on the floor and they’re burned alive. Geez. Carol and Maggie walk past all the damage. Paula is now a zombie and Maggie kills her.

They open the door to Rick and the rest of their people. Rick tells Primo he might as well talk. Rick asks him how he got the bike. Primo says they found it. He says he’s Negan and Rick shoots him in the head. Geez. Is that it after such a big build-up or did the Primo/Negan guy lie? Carol clutches the rosary so hard, her hand starts to bleed.

Next week, Daryl plays with a toy soldier, Eugene meets a zombie and there’s lots more fighting.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Worst. Taglines. Ever. Except for Kandi. I’m thinking maybe they’ve run out of taglines, since none of the other cities are that great either this season.

Phaedra is planning a holiday party. She’s bouncing ideas off of Porsha and thinks she might do some clog dancing to entertain the guests. I’m speechless.

Kandi and Todd visit his mother’s grave. He says she was the life of the party and it’s sad that she won’t be there for the birth of her grandson. We flash back to some happy scenes with her. Kandi’s baby kicks like he’s saying hi to his grandma.

A story has hit the tabloids that the Feds were at their house looking for Apollo’s motorcycle. He apparently owes the government quite a bit. I’m sure Phaedra distanced herself and her money from that.

Porsha and Phaedra talk about the motorcycle. Porsha says she heard Cynthia and Peter have some of Apollo’s stuff too. Phaedra says she wouldn’t be surprised, since Apollo spent more time at the bar with Peter than he did with his kids.

Matt brings Kenya two Yorkie puppies. We flash back to Kenya’s dog, Velvet, who passed away last season. She names them Twirl and King. Kenya tells Matt she’s been invited to Phaedra’s holiday party. She says she grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness, so her family didn’t celebrate holidays. She says she doesn’t know if there’s going to be drama because it’s going around that Phaedra is the one who called the Feds abut the bike. Matt says at least Kenya isn’t involved. Kenya has to run interference between her shoes and the puppies.

Cynthia and her sister, Malorie, are moving furniture. Cynthia is setting up a massage table. Malorie leaves and Cynthia gets some ambiance going. When Peter comes home, she tells him she’s going to be his masseuse and that she’s booked a massage with a very happy ending for him. Too bad I can’t unhear that. Or unsee the rest of this scene.

Ha-ha! Cynthia’s daughter is supposed to be out with her dad, but she isn’t. Awkward.

Commercial break. I suddenly forgot which show I was watching.

Porsha, accompanied by sister Lauren, is at a fertility specialist. She’s not ready to have a baby right now (please don’t breed), but wants to make sure that when she is, everything is fine. She doesn’t even remember that she’s divorced or when her last period was. She says if she can’t carry a baby, Lauren can do it for her. Why not? She does everything else.

The doctor comes in. The doctor tells her that her fibroids are back. They’re small though, so the doctor says a pregnancy should be fine. Porsha asks about her biological clock, and the doctor says she had her own children at ages 38 and 42.

Dwight is setting things up at a spa for Phaedra’s party. Phaedra is also celebrating her divorce. It looks bright and festive, and I’m jealous of Dwight’s boutonniere brooch.

Ho-ho-ho! It’s party time. In reality crossover fashion, Miss Juicy from Little Women: Atlanta is one of the elves. Ayden is also dressed as an elf and will be giving out coal as needed. Sheree has brought Bob, who desperately wants to get back together. She says she’s open to it, but she’s not going to make it easy.

Porsha shows up with Shamea and they’re both barely dressed. Phaedra’s friend, Tammy, is there. Bob has told Sheree that he slept with Tammy, who claims they didn’t, so there’s some awkward tension when Tammy confronts Bob about it. Bob suddenly changes his tune and says they didn’t sleep together and he never said that they did.

Kenya shows up dressed like the Grinch, complete with green body paint. Bob tells Sheree not to hold him to who he used to be. They kiss sans mistletoe.

Peter asks Todd if Phaedra ever paid him back. Not quite, but he’s done with the whole thing. Nene sits next to Kandi, and we flash back to their personality clashes. Nene claims to be in a better place now. She says Kandi is usually making faces at her. Now that she mentions it, Kandi does make a lot of faces. Nene says they should press the restart button ion their friendship and Kandi agrees.

Kim thanks Phaedra for helping her through her first months on the show. She says if Phaedra ever needs her help with the boys, just ask. Nene brings up the Feds and Kandi says she’s keeping Phaedra at a distance until she can figure out where they’re at. The Feds went to Cynthia’s house as well, and Kenya suggests maybe Phaedra made the call. Cynthia says whenever anybody tried to help Apollo, they ended up in trouble. I’ve already forgotten what he looks like.

Phaedra joins the conversation and acts like she doesn’t know what’s up with the Feds thing, calling it crazy. The floor is cleared. Kim’s husband does a dance routine.

This was the finale, but the only interesting endings are that Kim will be Dancing with the Stars and Porsha will be on Celebrity Apprentice.

Next week, The Reunion, part one — Matt and Chris tangle and just about everyone else does too.

I Am Cait

All is quiet on the bus. Welcome to New Mexico. Cait says she put everyone to sleep with her political talk.

The bathroom ventilation isn’t working properly and everyone is complaining loudly. One of the ladies says it smells like a “cow barn.” The subject of the word “tranny” comes up and an informal poll is taken as to whether it’s offensive. Jenny does find it offensive, which is no surprise since she’s so easily offended. She compares it to the word “faggot.” She says someone once beat her and used that word while they were doing it. She says words can hurt as much as violence can, which is very true. Kate says it’s a word that was stolen from them, but when she uses it, it’s with love and compassion. Jenny says they look at things differently, but it’s asking a lot for her to look at it that way. Kate says Jenny can ask a lot of her as well. Kate says she identifies as a non-binary trans person. Jenny asks if they’re going to be having this conversation during the whole trip. Kate says she will be coming back to the subject.

Cait’s mother has won a support award from the LGBT community. A discussion about Donald Trump follows. While Cait isn’t a fan, she says he’d be good for a lot of issues, including women’s issues. When confronted with a Donald or Hilary question from Kate, Cait says she’d never vote for Hilary because she’s not going to address the economic issues. Candis is a huge Hilary supporter, but Cait brings up the overabundance of Hilary’s lies. Candis says Cait doesn’t discuss politics, she bombards you. Cait says just because she’s transitioned, doesn’t mean she suddenly became a liberal.

Candis tells Jenny she got in a screaming match with Cait about Hilary and removed herself from the conversation. Candis feels Cait was disrespectful and loud. Continuing the conversation with a few of the other ladies, Cait asks for one good thing Hilary has done. Zackery asks where the anger is coming from and doesn’t want to engage if Cait is going to yell. Zackery gives an example of a trans issue, but Cait says that’s good for them, but not America as a whole. Zackery feels that she keeps getting interrupted and doesn’t want to discuss it any further. Jenny says the bus has never felt this small. Zackery says Cait is “coming for” her, but I don’t see it that way. Frankly, I think that’s just part of Cait’s personality and they seem to be the ones bringing up politics. If you know this is the result, and you’re going to be offended, why start it?

The girls arrive in Santa Fe. Wendy, who is some kind of cruise director, says they’ll be seeing their rooms first and then going to dinner. Jenny says it’s like her worst nightmare, she’s having a conversation with Kate she doesn’t want to have and Cait is talking politics. They sit down to dinner and Jenny suggests joining hands before the meal.

To change the subject, Cait talks about getting a Woman of the Year award from Glamour magazine. She asks everyone what being a woman means to them. Jenny says one isn’t born a woman, but becomes one, and they all define womanhood on their own terms. Cait says she doesn’t know if she’ll ever figure it out. Zackery says sometimes your mind is ahead of your body or vice versa, and Cait hasn’t caught up to herself yet.

Kate says she didn’t come out until after her father died. She said if she had told him, he would have sat Shiva for his son. She recalls the conversation between her and each of her parents, ending with her mother eventually calling her Kate. Jenny says it’s impossible to hate anyone whose story you know and realizes that she needs to get back on track with Cait.

Commercial break. Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn (VH1) looks promising. Lindsay Lohan’s parents are cast members. Need I say more?

The girl are going horseback riding. Cait thinks it’s time to get off the bus for a while. One of the girls thinks it would be fun to play “Fluffy Bunny.” This involves putting marshmallows in your mouth and saying “fluffy bunny.” They don’t have marshmallows, so they use mini powdered donuts.

Chandi has never gone horseback riding and her first lesson is, don’t step in horse poop. The horse starts to go backward and I’m sure is sensing Chandi’s fear. Finally, she gets the horse going in the right direction. Jenny feels like Cait has been a bully and it needs to be addressed.

Back on the bus, there’s TMI about vibrators.

Back at the hotel, the girls toast to themselves. Kate talks about how she and Jenny talked, and though their approaches are at logger-heads, but their goals are the same and they really listened to one another. Kate confesses that she wanted to get a rise out of Cait by posing the Donald or Hilary question. She says she left the conversation because of Cait’s anger. Jenny says Kate isn’t the only one who was uncomfortable. Cait says she realizes she looks at the issues differently. Jenny says it isn’t about the issues and that Cait scared some of the women. Really? It must not take much.

Candis says she feels that Cait doesn’t listen sometimes. Cait agrees and says she can get excited when trying to prove a point. Jenny asks that Cait deal with them in gentleness and love. Cait admits to being aggressive when it comes to politics and it’s the feminine side she has to work on. Zackery says there’s been too much in-fighting in their own community and they have to set an example. Cait apologizes to Candis

The ladies are meeting with the mayor. They recently passed an ordinance regarding gender neutrality with single seat public bathrooms. I’m all for that. If I have to go, I don’t want to wait if a bathroom is empty just because it says men on it. Although Cait was supposed to change the signage, because Kate has had such grief over bathroom issues, she asks Kate to do it instead. Kate says she feels included and respected.

Next week, Candis has a date, Candis gets stood up (maybe) and Cait changes her driver’s license

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Isn’t this show over yet? Nope. Not yet. And what does Gizelle mean by she’s the word on the street? More idiotic taglines. It makes it sound like she’s a hooker.

Charrisse is doing a “sister circle,” a bonding experience for the ladies. Robyn shares about a best friend she and her ex-husband had who stole their money. She says they fell into a ponzi scheme and lost almost everything. She says she doesn’t know who she can trust anymore. Ashley feels guilty for discussing Robyn’s bankruptcy with Katie, which she should. She has no business bringing that up to anyone.

Gizelle asks Katie about her charity event. Katie says she has new host committee members. Ashley thinks there’s something deeper going on, but Katie says she doesn’t feel like going deep tonight. So Charrisse does it for her, bringing up the make-out session between Andrew and Katie at the party. Katie says she had a little too much to drink and already apologized. Gizelle asks if she was “on something.” Is Gizelle my grandmother?

Katie goes to lie down, telling Ashley she’s just tired. Yeah, tired of these shade throwing witches.

In the morning, Karen visits Ashley’s room to rehash the sister circle. She wasn’t thrilled with Gizelle sharing about her bathroom habits. You and me both, sista. Gizelle talks to Robyn about what she shared. Robyn says that the friend ripping them off was worse than their divorce. Karen tells Ashley she thought what Gizelle brought up about Katie was inappropriate.

Katie is talking to Charrisse and that hanger on whose name I keep missing. Charrisse says that it seemed like Gizelle attacked Katie. Gizelle, who has batlike radar, joins them. Charrisse tells her that Katie felt attacked and that isn’t what the sister circle is about. Katie tells her she didn’t bring up Gizelle’s sex life or something else inappropriate, and she thought Gizelle got too personal.

Hanger on, whose name is Brynel, visits Katie in her room. Katie says she’s spent and she thinks anything that Gizelle brings up is bs. Brynel tells Katie she needs to call Gizelle out and tell her she doesn’t do phony. Karen joins them. Karen says Katie has to stop Gizelle in her tracks or she’ll end up being Gizelle’s whipping boy.

The girls take a field trip to an old time photo place that has Old West costumes. They get a group photo taken. Katie tells Gizelle she was disrespectful. She says she’s not a little girl and she won’t be treated as one. Katie says Gizelle disparaged her character and she won’t have it. She says if Gizelle has any problem with her, she should come to her directly. Gizelle is probably steaming, but she apologizes. In her individual interview, Katie says she’s surprised Gizelle apologized, but then again, she’s a big phony.

Ashley is taking the girls to a drag show that she and Michael always enjoy when they vacation there. First, they have dinner outside at a restaurant with an awesome view. Karen asks Katie how she’s getting Andrew down the aisle. She says she thinks he’s ready, but he wants to surprise her. Karen thinks Andrew should put a ring on it already. They talk about prenups and finances. In her individual interview, Gizelle throws shade at Katie and white people in general.

Robyn asks how Katie would do it differently in this relationship, since she’s been married before. She says she rushed into the first marriage because she’d just turned 30 and felt pressured.

Big phony Gizelle, compliments Ashley on her hostessing skills, even though she was the one Googling hotels in the beginning. Everyone flatters Ashley and she says she feels like the casting results for the school play were just posted and she got the lead. Ashley says all in all, she thinks she did a good job and she wants to go out with a bang.

No gay bar is complete without a disco ball, and there it is. The girls get to dancing and even Karen pats a butt or two. This looks like a fun place. The drag show starts and Michael shows up. Karen gets pissed immediately because it’s supposed to be a girls weekend. She tells Ashley they’re not comfortable with a man sleeping at the house with them. The ladies are leaving and Ashley says that she’s staying a while and she’ll see them later.

Karen says Ashley should respect her feelings. She says Ray wouldn’t appreciate it and he wouldn’t be comfortable with another man in the house. Ashley says she didn’t plan this and Michael surprised her. They suggest Michael stay in a hotel. Katie and Charrisse are the only ones not getting stupid. I’m sure this poor guy thought he was doing a good thing and no good deed goes unpunished.

Robyn understands both sides, but thinks Ashley should have told Michael she’s with the girls this weekend. Charrisse thinks everyone is being ridiculous. When they get back, they have a mini discussion about Michael’s disrespect. Ashley and Michael come back. Ashley says they’re still her guests, but it’s Michael’s home too, and he’s not going to get in their space. Michael says he doesn’t even understand the drama.

Charrisse says the overall concern is how Ashley handled it. Karen says Ashley telling her she didn’t care if Karen was uncomfortable isn’t right. She says she’s done and goes to bed. Michael tries to make jokes, but Gizelle acts like he might attack them in their sleep or something. Robyn thinks Gizelle and Karen should let it go and move on.

Robyn and Charrisse stay up half the night playing beer pong with Brynel, Ashley and Michael. Karen says all her efforts were in vain and the way Ashley has handled things is very disappointing. Off with her head!

Next time, Andrew brings home balloons and I notice we have the same exact throw pillow with a buffalo on it, Ray calls out Michael, and Karen is done with Ashley.