Tag Archives: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

December 20, 2019 – Franco Learns About Drew, Close Call, Re-engagement, Wayne Revealed, Dog Tantrums, Ten Holiday Quotes Plus a Long One & Eight Crazy Nights


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I miss the first millisecond. Nothing important, except Lucas is now breathing on his own. Elizabeth tells Julian that they’re all pulling for Lucas. Franco says he’s ready to go home. Elizabeth says she missed Franco, and he says if he’d known he was away, he would have missed her too. She gives him back his wedding ring, he puts it on, and they kiss.

Michael opens the door to Willow, who asks if everything is okay. His text was vague. He says he has some fun things planned for today, and thought she might want to join in.

Anna looks over some folders at her desk. Finn tells her that he just put Violet down for a nap, and he wants one too. Anna says it will take time, and he says he’s never second guessed himself so much. He wants to do things right. Are cartoons good or bad? Anna says the answers will change with his mood. Wait until the first time he hears himself say, because I said so. He says he’s looking forward to that. He asks what all that is on her desk, and she says, research. He says, on? and she says, her son.

Sporting an elf hat, Maxie tells Peter it breaks her heart to see so many kids in the hospital at Christmas. Peter says GH does its best to make it special, and she made them smile. Maxie wishes Lucas was awake to make fun of her hat. Peter says they should have a progress report soon, and it is the time of year for miracles. She asks if he’s ready for their next stop, and he asks if she’s sure they’re not intruding. Maxie says, she’ll love it. She sees the guard outside Nelle’s door, and says, someone’s been naughty.

Martin tells Nelle that she’s looking well. She says hospital gowns have always suited her. He asks if this was her big plan, to get stabbed? and she says, of course (🍷) not. He asks, what happened? and she says, a serial killer happened.

Brad tells Lucas that he doesn’t know what to do. That’s a lie. He at least knows what Lucas would want him to do. Send Wiley back to his true father, but what if he can’t? If he hadn’t come across Nelle that awful night, and taken a baby that wasn’t his, Lucas wouldn’t be there. He wants to make it right, but doesn’t know what to do. Julian comes in, and tells Brad, the test results are in. Brad kisses Lucas’s forehead, and follows Julian.

Michael says he’s taking a personal day, and knows how Willow loves spending time with Wiley, but it’s awkward with Wiley’s dads around. He asks if it’s still hard on her, and she says, no. She was just thinking of Lucas, and how horrible it all is. Michael says, hopefully, Lucas will get better. In the meantime, they can keep Wiley laughing. Willow says Michael has been great taking care of Wiley, and Michael says, of course (🍷). He’s family.

Martin says, Nelle wanted to be released, and this is how she engineered it? If she’d gotten killed, he would have gotten bupkis for his hard work. She’s unreliable. He has one question; why is she doing this?

Anna tells Finn that she can’t get the conversation with Jason out of her head. The list of crimes he believes Peter orchestrated is unbelievable. At the same time, considering Peter’s recent behavior, she can’t dismiss it out of hand. She’s pulled everything she can find, and is trying to make a connection to Brice and the gunman’s deaths. The gunman spent a lot of time in Pentenville, but up until about a week ago, he was in Europe, where he has no arrest record. He worked security for two companies, Eurotech and another one I don’t catch, before and after his stint in prison. Finn thinks the company names should mean something to him, and Anna says they’re known by the WSB to be DVX companies. Finn says, shell companies. Peter lived in Germany, so that would be the connection. Anna says Andre also has connections in Europe, and Brice spent time there. Finn asks if there’s nothing to single Peter out, and she says, no.

Amy tells Elizabeth the paperwork will be ready shortly. Jordan asks Franco to look at a photo of his assailant, but when he does, he says he’s got nothing. But they weren’t really after him. They were after Drew. He’s not telling her how to do her job, but maybe she should be speaking to Drew. Elizabeth asks if Jordan needs anything else, but Jordan says, that’s it. Amy tells Franco that his walking papers are in. Enjoy his homecoming. Elizabeth says, they will, and Franco asks her, what’s going on with Drew? She says they have a lot to talk about, but they’ll do it at home.

Anna says, neither Brice, nor the assassin were in Afghanistan, and Finn says, that implicates Shiloh. She says, exactly, but Shiloh has no known connection to Faison. Finn says, that implicates Peter, but she says, there’s no implication anywhere. Finn says she wants to exonerate him, and she says she wants to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s not guilty. Finn says, that’s impossible. It comes down to what she feels. She says, nothing contradicts Jason’s version of the events, but Finn says, Jason has his own bias. In the absence of real evidence, it comes down to who or what she believes. The doorbell rings, and Finn goes to get it. He brings back Maxie and Peter.

Michael and Willow roll a ball back and forth with Wiley, and discuss a ball rolling Olympics event. Willow asks how Michael got to be so great with kids. Being a big brother? He says, that’s part of it. There was actually a time where he had custody of his sister Avery. It’s a long story, and not complementary of him. Willow doesn’t believe it, but he says, believe it. It was a very complicated, messy, human situation, where everyone acted badly. Willow says she’ll reserve judgment on that. Michael says his biological father was AJ Quartermaine. AJ and his mom didn’t get along, and she left him for Sonny when Michael was two years old. Sonny was the only father he knew. AJ wanted him back, so there was an ugly custody fight. Flash forward to five years ago. AJ and Sonny hated each other, and Ava got thrown in the mix. AJ attacked Ava, and Sonny shot him. He died, but Michael didn’t know it was Sonny who shot him until a month later, and he went a little crazy. It was pretty bad, and he trumped up a legal excuse to get custody of Avery. He wanted to hurt his father, and knew nothing would hurt him more than taking Avery away.

Nelle says maybe she doesn’t need Martin. She got herself out; she can find a way to stay out. Martin says he’s her only prayer to get out before her 60th birthday. If she does exactly what he tells her, and sticks with the program; be a model prisoner. She asks why she should trust him, and he says it’s his only chance of getting paid. Jordan comes in, and asks how the prisoner is. Nelle gives her two thumbs up.

The doctor asks Julian and Brad if they’re waiting for Lucas’s mother, but Julian says they convinced her to get some rest, so go ahead. The doctor says Lucas’s brain swelling is down, but he slipped into a coma. Julian says he’s been in a coma since he got there, but the doctor says it was medically induced to help his body heal. Even after they reduced the sedatives, he’s not waking up. Brad asks, what happens now? and the doctor says Lucas can’t stay there indefinitely. He’ll have to be relocated. They think Turning Woods is the best option; they have long term care. They’ll transfer him as soon as Brad signs off. Julian asks, what’s the rush? and Brad says, they need the bed. Lucas isn’t healing fast enough, so they’re kicking him out. He walks off, leans against the wall, and slides down.

Elizabeth brings Franco in, and says, ta-da! Franco says, check it out, and looks at the huge Welcome Home sign. He asks if Aiden did that, and she says, of course (🍷). Look at what else he did. Franco sees  a cake on the table, and says, chocolate ganache; his favorite. He asks where Aiden is, and Elizabeth says he was invited to spend Christmas in Ireland. He was torn; He wanted to go, but wanted to be there to welcome Franco home. Cameron convinced him that Franco would want him to experience new places, and they took him to the airport this morning. He’s come a long way from the uncertain withdrawn little boy, and it has a lot to do with Franco. Franco says he just followed her lead. She says they can still have a celebration. Cameron and Jake will be home soon. He has no idea how much the boys missed him. And how scared they were, although they tried not show it. He says he can imagine, and he’s sorry he put them through it. She says they’re sorry he went through it. He says he didn’t. It’s a matter of perspective. To him, no time passed. She got the raw end of the deal. She says she’s glad he’s home; that’s all that matters. She asks how it feels, and he says, safe and warm, and familiar and new at the same time. It’s weird that he hasn’t seen Drew. He must be busy. Elizbeth says, it’s worse than that. There’s a lot they need to deal with, and in time he’ll adjust. Drew handled it wonderfully, and was determined to get him back. Franco asks where Drew is, and she says, he’s missing, and presumed dead.

Julian tells Lucas, take more time to rest. Don’t worry about Wiley. He’ll fix this thing. By the time Lucas wakes up, everything will be back on track. He’s going to wake up. He has to.

Amy finds Brad, and sits next to him on the floor. She says, it’s not the end. Lucas probably just needs more time. Brad says it’s his fault, and she tells him, don’t say that. He says, it’s true. Between the two of them, everyone knows Brad is the bad one. Lucas doesn’t lie, cheat, or break the law. He’s perfect. Amy says Brad is no angel, but what everyone knows is how much Brad loves Lucas, and how much Lucas loves him. She asks if some gossip would cheer him up. Guess who traded their cellblock for a hospital bed? Nelle. That wacko is back in Port Charles. Brad says he has to do something, and jets. Amy wonders if it’s something she said.

Nelle tells Jordan, they can’t make her go back. Jordan says they can, and Nelle asks how heartless can they be? Ryan nearly carved out her one kidney. Jordan says she’s exaggerating, but Martin says her release is premature, given her medical history. She’ll need more extensive tests. Jordan says, if the doctor says she needs them, she’ll get them. Otherwise, it’s back to prison. Martin says, let’s find out. As he follows Jordan out the door, he turns back to look at Nelle, and she mouths, do something.

Anna quickly clears her desk, and Maxie says they brought gifts. Anna says they shouldn’t have, and Maxie says they’re not for her. She’s been going through Georgie’s old clothes, and thought Violet could use some of them. They’re out in the car. Anna asks Finn to help Peter get them. Anna tells Maxie that she’s glowing. Peter has an effect on her. Maxie says he’s made her happy. She didn’t think it was possible. After Nathan died, she thought that was it. How many chances does one person get? But in walks Peter, now they’re building a life together, and a family. Anna says she’s thrilled for Maxie, and they hug.

Willow asks how long Michael kept Avery, and he says, three or four months. He realized his revenge was tearing his family apart and hurting the people he loved, especially Avery. The only solution was to give Avery back, and forgive his father. Avery was the easy part; forgiving his father, not so much. Eventually, he got there. Willow says, remarkable, but he says, not really. It was a shift in perspective. Avery wasn’t a trophy; she was just a little girl. After he focused on that, everything else fell into place. The point he’s making is, he played dad for a minute. He laughs, remembering when he brought Avery to work, and a big investor came in. He found Michael on the floor, playing blocks with Avery. He already looked young, and  needless to say, Michael didn’t close the deal. Willow says, that investor was short-sighted. Anyone playing blocks is engaging, thoughtful, and committed. If it had been her, she would have totally invested with him. Michael’s phone rings. It’s Amy, who says she was just with Brad. Lucas is still in a coma, and being transferred to long term care at Turning Woods. Brad is taking it hard, so she was wondering if Michael could bring Wiley to the hospital. Brad needs to see his son.

Brad walks into Nelle’s room, and she says, nice work, talking his way in there, especially considering what he’s going through. He says his husband being in a coma, and his son without his fathers? All of it is her fault.

Franco asks Elizabeth if there was no body, and she says the plane was found in the water. When it was determined there were no possible survivors, the search was called off. Franco says, it was because of him, but Elizabeth says, Drew was on the plane because he felt it was the right thing to do. Franco says, it’s not fair.

Brad tells Nelle, none of this would have happened if he hadn’t gotten involved with her. All of it happened because he didn’t have the guts to stand up and do what he should have done all along. What Lucas would want him to do – what’s best for Wiley.

Michael and Willow come into the hospital through the loudest sliding door ever. Michael gives Wiley to Willow, and says he wants to give Brad a heads up. Willow tells Wiley that someone is going to be happy to see him.

Anna tells Maxie, she’s happy to hear she and Peter are moving in together. She was a bit surprised though. She thought Peter was getting his own place. Maxie says, he was, but the deal fell through. That’s why he was on the pier the night he helped Dev and Wiley. Anna says, everything happens for a reason, and Maxie says she thinks so. Peter is great for her and James. They’ve finally moved past the baggage. Finn and Peter come back in, and Finn thanks Peter for the stuff. Peter says he didn’t have much to do with it. Finn asks how it’s going since the excitement at the hospital. Peter says he feels horrible that a man lost his life, but Franco is back to himself. It must be liberating, not being bogged down with Drew’s memories. Finn says, it must be.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she’s sorry. Franco wishes he could have tried to save Drew, and she says he did. He got Drew out of the house, and away from that horrible man. Franco says Drew died as a direct result of what was going on with him. Elizabeth says what Franco did changed everything. He, as Drew, chose to give Franco back his life because of what he did all those years ago.

She says she dreaded this moment, telling him about Drew. She knew how hard to would be. He holds her, and says Drew is the closest thing he’ll ever have to a brother. She says he can’t bring Drew back. The only way to honor him is to learn from his own life. Be happy and make the people he loves around him happy. He says he’s an expert at being whiny and bitchy. She says, he is not. Maybe a little. He says he’s so grateful for her. From now on, he’s grateful for everything. She says he has no idea how unbearable it was to see him, and it not really be him. Not just the lack of recognition – that was painful enough – but everything. The way he carried himself, the way he spoke, the way he said her name. He wouldn’t make inappropriate comments, or make her laugh with his terrible jokes. He says, they’re funny because they’re terrible. She says she would look in his eyes and search, but she wouldn’t see it. She sees it now, and she’s so happy. he says, if he makes her happy, that’s the single greatest achievement of his life. She says she loves him so much, and they kiss.

Jordan sees Julian, and says she heard Lucas was being moved. He says he just got off the phone with Lucas’s mother, and told her about Turning Woods. She says they’ve received the final report about Brad’s car.

Michael looks at his phone; Brad called. Martin comes by, and introduces himself, saying he has the honor and privilege of being Nelle’s attorney. Michael isn’t sure that’s an honor, and Martin says, Nelle is a remarkable young woman whose gone out of her way to turn her life around. Michael says, Nelle destroys anyone who crosses her path. Stay away. He walks, and Martin says, tough crowd.

Michael sees Amy, and tells her that Wiley is waiting with Willow. Where can he find Brad?

Anna asks if Maxie and Peter can’t stay longer, but Maxie says, it’s Christmaspalooza. They have the coat drive at Rice Plaza next. Anna asks if they’re going to  be there for Christmas, and Finn says, that’s the day that’s merry not happy. Anna looks at him, and he says she lives in America now. Maxie and Peter leave, and Finn says, they seem good. Anna says, better than good, and he asks what she’s thinking. She says she’s thinking of taking his advice. She’s going to give Peter the benefit of the doubt. He says she’s taking his advice? and he tells her, enjoy it while it lasts. He goes upstairs to check on Violet, and she straightens her desk. She flips through a folder on Peter, and says, no.

Franco and Elizabeth kiss. She pulls away, and he asks, what going on? She says, you know how it is when your head and your body are feeling two different things? That’s how she’s feeling. She knows she shouldn’t be upset… He asks, what’s going on? Just tell him; they’ll get through it. She says, when Drew was in his body, he had sex with Kim.

Jordan tells Julian, they were unable to determine the cause of the crash. There was too much damage to the undercarriage, and they can’t pinpoint how the brakes failed. He asks if they’re closing the investigation, and she says they have nothing further to learn. She tells him, good luck with Lucas’s transfer. She hopes he comes out of it.

Anna says, Eurotech, and looks in the gunman’s folder. She says, ugh; no. Peter was there at the same company at the same time the gunman worked there. She looks through pictures of Peter, obviously taken without his knowledge.

Michael looks in on Lucas. He tells Brad, sorry. He knows it wasn’t the news Brad wanted to hear. None of them did. Brad says, it was a lot to take in, and Michael says he brought someone to cheer Brad up, if he’s up to it. Wiley is here.

In the hallway, Willow holds Wiley, and Nelle rolls up in her wheelchair. She says, what a beautiful baby boy.

On Monday, Monica reads A Christmas Carol to the kids at the hospital, Robert calls Finn a Scrooge, Obrecht says Christmas is the time put aside their differences and spread good will, and Finn becomes Scrooge. I’m really looking forward to that.

🏥 Her Choice of Friends Scares Me…

I love Denise, but her being good friends with Brandi is scarier than any medical emergency.


💍 Congratulations, I Guess…

Since they were divorced, but never really apart, it’s hard to get excited.


🎭 Whose Mask Is It Anyway…

I’ve loved Wayne Brady forever. I was blessed to see him in Chicago on Broadway, and hung out afterward, to ask him to sign my program. There were quite a few of us waiting, and every time the stage door opened, you could feel everyone get ready. Then, when it wasn’t him, there was a collective feeling of disappointment. Now we call every letdown after anticipatory feels, a Wayne Brady moment. He did eventually come out and sign programs just in case you were wondering.


🐕 God’s Best Invention…

Dogs are the best! If you keep watching, there’s a whole sequence of videos of dogs throwing tantrums for various reasons. This first one is annoyed by a cat in her bed. It reminds me of when our cat used to deliberately sit in the middle of the doorway because the dogs were too afraid to go past him. The cartoons have it backward.


🔔 Quotes of the Week

Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words. – Harlan Miller

A good conscience is a continual Christmas. – Benjamin Franklin

Hanukkah is about the spark of the divine in all of us made in God’s image. – Suzanne Fields

We’re not doing anything that hasn’t been done better by Burl Ives, God rest his soul. Possibly. I don’t know whether he’s dead or alive. – Arthur Spooner (Jerry Stiller), King of Queens

Nothing ever seems too bad, too hard, or too sad when you’ve got a Christmas tree in the living room. – Nora Roberts

Just as Hanukkah candles are lighted one by one from a single flame, so the tale of the miracle is passed from one man to another, from one house to another, and to the whole House of Israel throughout the generations.Judah L. Magnes

And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the world seemingly most indifferent… –  Taylor Caldwell

Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see. – The Polar Express

Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance—a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved. – Augusta E. Handel

Ho-ho-ho!Santa Claus

🎁 And One More…

Scrooge was better than his word.  He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, he was a second father.

He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world.  Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but his own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

He had no further intercourse with Spirits; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.

May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol


🎇 It’s a Mitzvah…

Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah!

September 10, 2019 – Julian Learns the Truth, Dr. Deb Meets the Girls, Tinsley Walks, Bethenny Moves On, Tamra Fights, BH Newbie, Dorit Grilled & Middle


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Julian says, Nelle Benson is Wiley’s birth mother, and Michael Corinthos is Wiley’s birth father, right Brad? Brad says if Julian needs to hear him say it, yes. He stole Sonny Corinthos’s grandchild.

At the hospital, Maxie tells Peter, if Sasha doesn’t like it, she doesn’t deserve to be working at Crimson. Peter says, it’s sure to be her most prized possession. She suggests taking James to the park, and Peter says he has to do something first. Maxie tells him that she’s really, really happy about this… us. Peter says he is too. She leaves to see Sasha, and he makes a phone call. He wants to know why Andre is still alive.

There’s a knock on Franco’s hotel room door, and Monica opens it to find Jason. He says he’s there to see Franco, but he also has something important to tell her. She says, that doesn’t sound ominous at all, and Jason comes in. She asks, what is it? and he says, Drew’s plane disappeared.

Kim flashes back on kissing Franco. Elizabeth unexpectedly comes out of the elevator, and Kim babbles a little, asking Elizabeth how she is. Elizabeth says she’s hanging in there. Kim knows it must be so difficult with Franco gone. He’s not gone physically, but… Elizabeth says, his memories have been replaced with Drew’s. Kim asks how the boys are, and Elizabeth says, Jake and Aiden are confused. Obviously, they all are, and Cameron has been a huge help in trying to convince the boys everything is going to be okay. Which was made a little more difficult when he saw Kim and Franco kissing.

Josslyn sits by the plaque in Oscar’s Meadow. Michael comes by and asks if she shouldn’t be in school. She says she cut. Michael says a straight A student, on the honor roll, and athlete of the year is cutting? She says people are going to say she couldn’t take it being without Oscar; that it was too painful. But it’s worse than that. School was okay. She was okay, and that feels so wrong.

Sonny comes into the kitchen where Carly is sitting. Carly says, Josslyn never made it to fourth period, and  isn’t on the school grounds. Sonny says, it’s not surprising, since she has to be there without Oscar. Carly says, it’s more than that, and they’re going to finally have to deal with it.

Michael sits with Josslyn, and asks, what happened at school? She says, nothing really, which made it feel like everything. She’s already thinking about asking her dad to hire a tutor, and how she’s going to fit in in her schedule. Michael says she’s thinking ahead. She says she almost walked past Oscar’s locker without realizing it. The girl who was going back to school, and dreading it without him. It’s the first day, and she’s already blowing off Oscar. He’s dead, and she’s thinking of hiring a tutor and moving on. She doesn’t want be that person. Michael says, she is. She thinks about him, but she’s involved in the future; in the world around her. It’s one of the things Oscar loved about her. I kind of get how she feels. The last time I went past my childhood home, the only home I knew before having my own, it didn’t really register until we’d already gone past it, and that made me feel weird.

Julian shoves Brad onto a chair. He wants every detail, but Brad says he knows the story. Julian says, apparently not, and tells him, start at the beginning. Brad says, he came home from the hospital, and the real Wiley was asleep in the crib. He left the room, and came back to feed him, but he wasn’t breathing. The baby he and Lucas hoped for and dreamt about for so long, was gone, just like that. It was the worst moment of his life. Julian asks how Nelle came into this, and Brad says he put that Wiley in car. On the way to the hospital, he had to pull over, he was crying so hard. Nelle knocked on the window with a newborn in her arms. The switch was her idea. Julian asks why on earth Brad agreed.

Carly tells Sonny, Josslyn is with Michael. He says she’s okay, so don’t worry. Sonny says, good thing, and Carly says, it’s not working out. Dev. He asks where that came from. Josslyn cut class, so Dev’s not working out? Carly says, Josslyn had to cover for Dev in front of her father. She knows everyone has the best intentions, but she doesn’t want to ask Josslyn to keep this up when she’s dealing with Oscar’s death. Not that any time is okay. They have to think of an alternative situation for Dev. He asks why she’s being so selfish.

Elizabeth tells Kim, it’s okay. Well, it’s not okay. None of it is, but Elizabeth is trying to see it from Kim’s perspective. Kim says she’s so sorry; it was way out of line. Elizabeth says, it was. Kim says, the person that Franco thinks he is, that Drew, shared a genuine connection with her. Elizabeth knows, and Kim says, as much as she hates it to say it, he doesn’t remember Elizabeth or the boys, and she feels like that’s causing more pain. Elizabeth gets that Kim is grieving, and feels terrible, but the man she kissed isn’t Drew. So whatever she may believe or thinks he feels for her, is beside the point. Kim says she’s right. He also asked her to go away with him. Elizabeth knows. Cameron told her. He also told her that Kim didn’t say no.

Jason tells Monica, the plane went off the radar in the Gulf of Aden. Monica says, he was on his way to Afghanistan, and Jason says, the wreckage was spotted, but there’s no indication of any survivors. Monica asks if he’s telling her that Drew is dead.

Still on the phone, Peter says do as he asks… Gulf of Aden, no body? Andre’s the problem now. He can’t be allowed to perform the procedure…. Yeah. That’s the idea. What if it sharpens the memories? If there’s even the slightest chance Franco remembers him or what he’s done, this is finished. Someone pushes Peter, and he sees it’s Wyatt, the kid who helped rescue him from the cabin. Wyatt’s mother tells him he can’t run away, and he hides behind Peter. He says he saved Peter’s life last summer. Peter has to save his now.

Jason tells Monica, no bodies were recovered. It’s not certain, but everything points to Drew being dead. He went to Ethiopia to get Andre, and was headed to Afghanistan. Andre came back, and when he landed, somebody tried to kill him. Monica says she never expected the connection to be a threat to Drew, and Jason says, someone possibly wanted to kill them both. Franco says that throws everything back to him. Jason has no idea who’s behind it, or if the DVX has a stake in it. The WSB is on it, but at this point, they have no answers. Monica says she wants to get back to the hospital. She’s going to call the WSB and find out what’s going on. Jason says he’ll drive her car, and she says, okay. Franco tells Jason to take care of Monica, and Jason says he will. I’m startled that Monica can just call up the WSB and get information.

Kim tells Elizabeth, the kiss was like a moment out of time. She didn’t see or hear Franco. The person standing in front of her was the person she fell in love with in San Diego. Elizabeth says, it’s a fantasy. Franco is Franco, and Drew is Drew, the father of her child. He went to Afghanistan to return the money Shiloh stole. Meanwhile, Franco – her husband – is here, wearing an ankle monitor. Kim says he’s there physically, but emotionally and psychologically… it’s bizarre. Elizabeth says the only thing Kim is doing, is making her own pain worse.

Brad tells Julian, he couldn’t stand telling Lucas the child they’d planned and longed for, that he didn’t even have a chance to hold, was gone. And he had good reason for Michael not getting the baby. The Corinthos family is dangerous. All the kids have been kidnapped at one point. Wiley would be next. Julian says, it never occurred to him that Nelle is a sociopath, and setting him up? Brad says, she was a mother desperate to protect her child. Julian tells Brad that he was naïve. Nelle just wanted to keep him from Michael, and he played into her hands.

Josslyn tells Michael that Oscar’s locker was given to a new kid, Thomas something. They met when he found her and Oscar’s picture taped to the door. She asked for it back gave it to her and walked away. That’s when she felt how she’s supposed to feel; like she missed him. The world is broken without him. She still had to go to class, so she went to first and second period. By third period, she almost walked past Oscar’s locker without realizing. It’s not fair. She has so much going on in her own life, and Oscar will never do anything ever again. It hits her, and she feels like she can’t breathe. Michael says she’s right. it’s not fair. Oscar should be at school and hanging out with her, Cameron, and Trina, but it won’t make things better or more fair if she stops living her life. She says she was going crazy, and couldn’t handle it. That’s why she left. He says, it’s probably not what Oscar would want; her being there. Grieving takes longer than she thinks.

Sonny gets it; Carly is worried about Josslyn, and Dev is an easy target. She insists she’s not making Dev a target, and Sonny says Dev saved his life. He’s got nothing, and Sonny feels this is a way to repay him. Carly says in the time Dev’s been there, Sonny has gone from helping, to Dev staying the summer, to giving him a new identity, and now he’s talking adoption. Each time, it gets bigger than the time before, because it didn’t work. Maybe there’s a flaw in the plan. It’s based on a lie. Dev is using a name that’s not his, and they’re lying to everyone; even Kristina doesn’t know the truth. Sonny says, she will, when he gets to it. Carly says, it’s not working, and the sooner he admits it, the better it is for everyone.

Wyatt tells Peter, he has to help. His mom is making him have surgery. He asks, what kind? and Wyatt says, a tonsillectomy. She told him it won’t hurt, and it won’t when it happens, but after, ow! Peter asks if he remembers being sick, and missing something cool, like at school or the Pioneers. Wyatt says he missed the Pioneer Jamboree, and Peter says, that stinks. If he goes through the surgery, he’ll be sore, but he’ll be sick way less, and won’t have to miss anything fun anymore. Maxie watches from around the corner.

Kim tells Elizabeth, it was incredible to finally have the past acknowledged, and somebody to share the things she remembers; everything they shared. Memories are ultimately who they are, and what Drew is missing. Elizabeth says she connected with Drew in the present, over Oscar, not a bond with the past. Kim says that vanished with Drew. They had an unbreakable bond, and Franco remembered it all. The big things, and the little things, and everything in between. Elizabeth is right. There’s no future. It isn’t real, but it’s still important. Elizabeth says she has to let it go, and Kim asks what Elizabeth is going to do if Franco doesn’t come back. Elizabeth says, that’s not going to happen, but Kim says she doesn’t know that. If Franco only remembers Drew’s life, what is she going to do?

Sonny asks if they’re supposed to throw Dev on the street, and Carly tells him not to go to the extreme. They could send him to boarding school. She’s done her research, and there’s some good ones close by. He could live with Max or Milo. They’re not sending him back, but she thinks it’s impossible for Josslyn if Dev lives there. Sonny tells her not to pin it on her daughter. Don’t use Josslyn as an excuse. If she doesn’t want Dev to live there, fine.

Michael asks if Josslyn remembers him going to the grief meetings, and she says, please don’t make her go to a support group. He says she’d be surprised how well it works, but that’s something you have to do for yourself. One thing he learned was that everyone grieves the same and uniquely all at once. He and Josslyn are alike; setting goals, wanting a checklist. She wants to ace the grieving process. If she just follows the rules, and completes the milestones to get to point X, she’ll be okay. That’s not how the grieving process works. You think you have a hold on it, and it blindsides you. He tells her not to be mad when she doesn’t feel strong or runs into a brick wall. It’s going to happen. She says it doesn’t seem like it happens to him, but he has two words – Kensington Gardens.

Brad tells Julian, maybe he was stupid, but he’s not sorry. He and Lucas love Wiley. They’ve given him a  wonderful home, and they were so happy, despite the stress that was starting to fade into the background. Julian says, until Obrecht. Brad says when he overheard her talking to Franco, he realized she knew the truth and he panicked. Julian says, it was him. Brad pushed her off the boat. He was trying to kill her. Brad says he panicked. Obrecht figured it out, and that’s when she told him that she knew the truth.

Jason phones Franco, who asks how Monica is. Jason says she’s in her office, but didn’t want him to stay. He called a family member just in case. He didn’t want to say this in front of her… Franco says, but he’s probably next. Jason tells him, watch his back, and if he feels the need for protection, call him. Franco thanks him, and says he was under the impression they couldn’t stand each other. Jason says it would hurt too many people if he ends up dead, so don’t. Franco says he copies that.

Peter says, remember how Wyatt found him? Wyatt says, that’s not something you forget. The mean lady with the ax tied Peter to the bed. Peter says Wyatt told the people at the hospital about him. Wyatt is the reason he got out. Wyatt’s bravery saved him, and he needs Wyatt to be that brave again. Wyatt says, okay, and Peter tells him, think of the free ice cream afterward. Wyatt’s mom says she’s glad they bumped into Peter. Peter says he is too. He tells Wyatt, go get ‘em. Peter sees Maxie, and she smiles.

Elizabeth says she considers Kim a friend, and Kim says, as she does Elizabeth. Elizabeth gets that Kim isn’t responsible, but her sympathy only goes so far. Franco is her husband, and stepfather to her children. They love him. More to the point, he loves them. She’s going to do everything in her power to bring him back. Isn’t that what Kim would want? Kim says, of course (🍷), and Elizabeth says, then stop. Accept reality, and help Franco accept it by staying away. Kim says Elizabeth is right. It’s not her fault, but they both have to find their way through it.

Brad says, Nelle neglected to mention that Obrecht delivered the baby. Julian says, shocker, and Brad says supposedly, they came to a truce, but he doesn’t trust Obrecht. Julian says, don’t. The truth can’t come out. Brad says, which is why Julian has to kill her.

Michael tells Josslyn that he was on a business trip to London. It was a successful negotiation, and while he was on his way to dinner with a business associate, they crossed a pond in Kensington Gardens, where ducks were swimming around. He swears time stopped, and all he could think about was Jonah, and how before Jonah was born, he’d been looking forward to bringing him to the park to feed the ducks. He held it together long enough to tell his associate that he had to make an emergency business call to Singapore, and said he’d meet him at dinner. Josslyn asks, then what? and he says he hid behind some bushes and lost it. Lost it like falling to the ground and bawling his eyes out. There he was, behind a bush in Kensington Gardens because he didn’t get the chance to feed the ducks with Jonah, when he should have gotten a chance. Josslyn says, they both should have. Michael says if he’d stayed stuck, it would have been unfair. Not a tribute, but a waste. That’s not how he wants to honor his son.

Carly says she’s not using Josslyn as an excuse, and Sonny asks if she’s sure. She says, it’s a valid concern. Josslyn is under an incredible about of stress, and lying to her father isn’t helping. Sonny says, getting rid of Dev isn’t going to help Josslyn with her grief. Carly asks how he knows, and he asks if it helped her grief when she slept with Jax.

On the phone, Elizabeth tells Scotty that she had a conversation with Kim. Things are becoming problematic. Not only does Franco believe he’s Drew, Kim is reinforcing it. They have to get together to commit Franco. She sees Jason, and says she’ll call him back.

On the phone, Franco asks about a flight to San Diego. There’s a knock at the door, and he says he’ll try later. It’s Kim. He says he’s happy she’s there, and she says she has something to tell him. As amazing as their moment in the park was, it’s not real. It can’t last, and she can’t run away with him. He says there’s something he needs to tell her. There’s been an accident. Drew’s plane went down when he was on his way to Afghanistan. They haven’t found a body, but he’s gone.

Carly says she had every reason to believe Sonny slept with Nelle, and no; it didn’t lessen her grief. Did sleeping with Marina lessen his? It’s not about who slept with who. She has a legitimate concern. It’s wrong to throw that in her face about her targeting a kid. Sonny doesn’t care if Carly gets in his face, but don’t take it out on Dev. She asks what he’s talking about. They’re not doing this. She’s terrified and he’s terrified. She asks what they do when they’re terrified, and he says, they fight. She says, and when there’s not an outside target, what do they do? They fight each other. They’re getting ready to bring a baby into the world who could have a serious birth defect. They need each other. Their child needs them. She has enormous compassion for Dev, but she’s not going to let Sonny use him to drive them apart

Julian asks Brad if he thinks Obrecht is his only problem. What about Nelle? The woman is insane. Brad says, she’s in prison, but Julian says, she still has her vocal chords. Brad says, she’ll never tell. She hates the Corinthos family that much. Obrecht can spill anytime for any reason. A couple of drinks and she’s running her mouth. Julian has to kill her, or Lucas loses everything.

Maxie tells Peter, he’s amazing. He says he talked to a kid about a tonsillectomy, but she says he reassured Wyatt, and made him feel safe and strong, which brings her back to, he’s amazing. He says remember the time she told him not to put her on a pedestal because inevitably, he’d be disappointed? He wants to be the man she thinks he is, but he’s not. She says he’s a good person, who’s determined to make her think he’s worse. Helping people brush up their image is her thing. They don’t need pedestals. She just needs the real him. It’s more than enough.

Elizabeth doesn’t know what Jason heard, but he says he doesn’t care. She says she’s not giving up, and he says she needs to listen. Drew’s plane disappeared in the Gulf of Aden. They found the wreckage, but no bodies. So the only thing left of Drew is the memories implanted in Franco.

Franco tells Kim, he knows it sounds crazy. Drew is a dead man, but the man standing here is Drew. He knows this body isn’t his; however, the body of the man who did hold her and father her child, is at the bottom of the ocean. Drew is gone. He’s sorry.

Michael asks if Oscar ever told Josslyn to just sit in front of his rock and listen for the rest of her life. She says, just the opposite. Michael says, wherever Oscar is, he wants her to do great things. Josslyn asks what that includes. He doesn’t know, but they’ll be incredible. Josslyn hates being sad, but every time she feels happy or hopeful… Michael says, she feels guilty. Don’t. She says there are moments she feels good, even though it hurts, but it’s what Oscar wanted. Michael says, Jonah was too young to want anything for him, but he knows Jonah would want him to find joy in being a brother, a son, and someday, a father. That will bring honor to Jonah. Josslyn says, it’s like he has a radar or something. Every time she needs him, he’s right there. He says, that’s what big brothers are for, and hugs her.

Sonny apologizes to Carly, saying, it was a cheap shot about Jax. Carly forgives him, but says they can’t do that anymore. They need each other. Sonny says he doesn’t want to fight anymore. He asks if she thinks the baby will be as stubborn as her. She says they’ll have to wait and see. They exchange I love yous, and kiss.

Julian walks Brad to the door. Brad says, once the truth comes out, Lucas loses Wiley. Julian says, not necessarily, but Brad says Lucas wouldn’t want to keep another person’s child, no matter who it is, and it’s his own nephew. Julian says it’s messed up, and Brad says, here’s where they are. Lucas loses his son, and loses him. Either Sonny kills him, or he goes to jail for the rest of his life. Lucas will despise him, and even if he doesn’t, divorce him. Is that what Julian wants for his son? Julian asks, what kind of question is that? Brad says, any way they slice it, Lucas loses his family unless Julian gets rid of Obrecht.

Tomorrow, Lulu accuses Olivia of lying to Leo, Laura tells Jordan that Valentin isn’t giving them the whole story about Cassandra, and Sonny says they’ve got the wrong guy

The Real Housewives of Orange County

It’s Annabelle’s 6th birthday, and the party begins. She tells her guests that they have hair color and face paint, and they’re going to play games. In her interview, Emily says she’s from Ohio. When it was her birthday, her mom picked up a cake from the grocery store, and maybe there was a balloon. It’s competitive in the Orange County birthday party scene. She can’t keep track anymore of who had the biggest bouncy castle or the petting zoo. Everyone sings Happy Birthday, and Annabelle blows out her candles. Gina runs in, apologizing for being late. In her interview, she says, it’s hard to get out of the house. She has three little kids, and it’s difficult when you have to Uber everywhere.

As Kelly and Shannon walk, Kelly says Gina got on her nerves, and admits she was attacking everyone. Shannon says, pretty much, and we flash back to Kelly saying, eff off, everybody. Kelly says, if this chick had her life intact, she could give advice, but Gina is in no position. Shannon says, everything fell apart. When she got back from L.A., she got a phone call from her attorney friend. He said the police were scheduled to arrest Gina that Friday. She would have been in there all weekend. Um… you’re not her only friends, and her parents probably would have gotten her out. Shannon says, all the stars aligned for it not to happen. The craziest thing is, she and Gina are getting along. Kelly says she felt attacked, and Shannon says it wasn’t meant that way. She tells Kelly that Emily sent her a text, saying her apology was sincere, and she hopes they move forward. Kelly says she’s going to Vegas. She went to see Emily practice, but she’d never have the confidence. She imitates Emily’s dancing, gyrating on Shannon.

It’s piñata time. Too bad it’s not Shane’s head. In Emily’s interview, Annabelle joins her, and Emily asks if mommy did a good job planning her party. Annabelle whispers something to her, and Emily says she got 100. Gina tells Emily about almost getting arrested in front of her kids. Emily says she got taken away in an ambulance in front of her kids. In Gina’s interview, she says Emily isn’t listening. Medical care versus being handcuffed, put in a paddy wagon, and taken to the clink are not the same thing. Gina tells Emily that she and Shannon went furniture shopping, and Shannon is like her best friend now. Emily says, that was rude, and Gina tells her that Shannon didn’t take her spot. They hug, and Gina says Emily is irreplaceable.

Shannon tells Kelly that they all need a break from the drama. She found a place in Arizona that’s a retreat. You can work out, but it’s also spiritual. She thought it would be a good idea if they all went. That includes Vicki. Kelly says she’ll never talk to Vicki again, but Shannon just wants everyone to have the opportunity to heal. In Kelly’s interview, she says she knows it will be a disaster. Vicki and wellness is like oil and water. That sh*t doesn’t mix. Shannon says maybe they’ll make peace, but Kelly says, it’s not okay even being in the same room. Shannon says when she and Vicki got to that point, she got a bit of peace. We flash back to the reunion where they hugged it out. Shannon says there were parts of the friendship she missed. She’d appreciate it if Kelly gave it a go. In Shannon’s interview, she says she knows Kelly and Vicki once had a close friendship, and hopes over time, Kelly will do exactly what she’s doing.

Eddie does some grilling. Spencer just woke up, and comes downstairs. Tamra says he’s like an old man, and Spencer says his mental age is 45. She asks what hers is. Eddie tells him to just pull a number out of his ass. Spencer looks at her palm, and says, seven. Tamra tells Eddie that Spencer is going to be lead trainer at Starbuck’s. Spencer says he knows enough now that he’ll get paid for training people. In Tamra’s interview, she says she’s proud of Spencer. He’s going to school full-time, and has a job. He’s trying to juggle it all. He even broke up with his girlfriend to concentrate on school. The producer asks where he got that from, and Tamra says, f**k if she knows. She asks if Spencer has talked to Ryan, and he says Ryan claims he called him a Nazi, and he didn’t. We flash back to Ryan telling Tamra that Spencer called him a racist. Spencer says Ryan blocked him, but it’s not like he did anything. Ryan is closed-minded. He thinks Ryan will never apologize. He doesn’t need an apology, but wouldn’t mind Ryan being more open-minded and more understanding though. In her interview, Tamra says she doesn’t like family members not talking. Like the situation with her daughter. We flash back to that, and she says they have no relationship. It’s still a scary feeling, because she doesn’t know what tomorrow holds. It’s time the boys resolve their issue. Tamra tells Spencer, Ryan isn’t a bad person, and Spencer agrees he isn’t. Tamra says he’s not happy with who he is. Spencer adds Ryan has daddy issues. When he was young, they were busy a lot, and weren’t telling Ryan what to do. It’s probably why he has a problem with authority. Tamra says, it’s her fault, but Spencer tells her, he’s not saying it’s her fault. In Tamra’s interview, she says she raised Ryan at 18, and he had no structure. Simon changed his life. We flash back to the Simon days, when he and Ryan butted heads. She says he doesn’t like rules, and she feels guilty, because he’s kind of struggling now. She tells Spencer, the bottom line is they’re brothers. Spencer says, half-brothers. Tamra says they have the same mother, and they need to get along. Spencer should be the one to initiate it, since he’s more mature. Spencer says Ryan is 30, and Tamra says, well, Spencer is 45.

Kelly can’t find her phone, and asks Jolie to call it. Jolie asks her phone to call mommy dearest. Kelly doesn’t know if that’s very nice, but Jolie thinks it’s funny. Kelly finds her phone, and calls brother Jared. She tells him about being invited to the health and wellness weekend at Miraval. She doesn’t know if she’s going to go, but it would be nice to see family. Jared says Eric reached out and texted him, apologizing. In Kelly’s interview, she says her mother and her little brother Eric lived with her. It was only supposed to be a few months, but it turned into a year and a half. She felt like they took advantage, and we flash back to that. She says she and her mom had a huge fight, and they moved back to Arizona. It was two years ago. Jared knows she has issues with their mom, but she’s more fragile now. He thinks it’s the meds giving her low blood pressure. They have to get things back to where they were, but he doesn’t want to upset her. Kelly says she wants Jolie to see her, and starts to cry, saying she was close to her nana. Jared says their mom misses Jolie, and it kills her not to see her granddaughter. Kelly tells him, she never said her mom couldn’t see Jolie. In Jolie’s interview, she says she feels bad they’re going through this. She wants to be in their lives and see them. She thinks if they just talk it over, they could work it out. They need to get over the bad stuff, and leave the negativity behind. Kelly says she’s glad she has Jared as a brother, and she loves him. She tells Jolie that she’s sorry she never gave her a brother or sister, and asks if she misses nanny. Jolie says she does, and Kelly goes downstairs.

In her interview, Kelly explains that Brian rented the place below her. He’s there two nights a week, and they’re kind of moving slow. He hasn’t moved in with her entirely, but there are a lot of perks. She says she told Shannon what they did. We see a clip of her  telling Shannon that they had sex all morning, for two hours. Brian laughs, and she says she talked to Jared about the whole situation. He said their mom is in a fragile state. She wants to see her, and Brian says she just has one mom. He lost his dad suddenly, and asks if her mom passed tomorrow, would she be okay? Would she have said what she needed to say? You don’t choose who your family is. Maybe they’ll figure things out, but she might have to be the bigger person. Kelly gets weepy, and says she would never not talk to Jolie. She would beg to talk to talk to her.

Dr. Deb and Braunwyn take a walk near the beach where Deb was married. Deb says Braunwyn was three weeks old. In her interview, Braunwyn says her grandparents Mama Jo and Daddy Ray were a sort of foundation for her. They were the most nurturing people in her childhood, and were around the most. She asks how the boys were, and Deb says, good. Braunwyn says she didn’t appreciate that Deb’s sister came to the house. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says her mother was watching the twins in the desert. She dropped them by her mother’s house, and her aunt showed up. She’s not allowed to be around them. It’s her one line in the sand. Deb says, when people aren’t well, you have to love them. Braunwyn tells Deb that her sister says inappropriate, awful things, and can’t go ten minutes without insulting Braunwyn to her kids. She always embarrassed Braunwyn in front of her friends when she was a kid. It was awkward and uncomfortable, and she’s not taking a chance with her own children. It’s the one line she’s drawn. She says it’s hard for her bring up things up to Deb, because Deb shuts her down. She’s trying to get better with it. In her interview, Braunwyn says she would always shrink into herself in front of her mom. Either Deb wasn’t around or she felt Deb was judging her. In order to not get hurt, she would shut down. It’s indicative of most of her relationships. We flash back to the bus, where she moved her seat when the women confronted her. She says she’s trying not to do that, and stand her ground more instead of running. She says she’s glad the boys had fun, but it’s going to be harder for her to let Deb take the kids. She had one rule, and it got broken. It’s not cool. Deb gets it, and Braunwyn thanks her for understanding.

Shannon visits Tamra, and tells her about the wellness retreat. She says they have different activities, and there’s a spiritual side, but there are also fun things. Like visiting a beehive for a honey tasting. She says Gina needs a break, and so does Tamra. Shannon wants the nastiness to die down. She’s tired of the low blows and cruelty. Vicki and Kelly need to stop it. Tamra says she’s on Kelly’s side. Vicki hasn’t learned anything. Shannon says she needs to talk to Vicki. She can’t keep being delusional. Tamra says, tell her, and see how it works out. Shannon says she’s going to tell Vicki to own her sh*t. If she wants to be friends with the group, she’ll have to swallow her pride. Tamra calls Vicki, and asks if they can come by. Vicki says they can. Tamra tells Shannon, it’s gonna be a sh*t show.

Braunwyn and Gina go to a trampoline fitness class. Braunwyn says she’s only bounced on a trampoline with her kids, and Gina says she’s doing the new age L.A. workout circuit. Gina doesn’t think something fun can be a workout, but after bouncing a while, she feels sick, and leaves to throw up. In her interview, she says, when she was younger, she could bounce forever and not even think about it. Surrounded by OC jumping robots, she can’t get halfway through without tossing her cookies. The instructor says, it kills you, then you think it’s fun. Braunwyn tells Gina that her mom is having dinner with the group. In her interview, she says her mom wants to meet the women she’s hanging out with. They’ve helped Braunwyn face uncomfortable truths, and be a better person. Gina says she has the kids, and can’t come. Braunwyn wishes Gina was coming to Vegas with her and Kelly. Gina says Emily was upset with her about that, and kept pushing it. She loves Emily, but she’s coming off the heels of a horrible mistake. In Gina’s interview, she says she’s facing the biggest legal issue she’s ever had. and it’s not a good look for her to be partying in Vegas. She doesn’t understand how her friend doesn’t see what’s going on. Braunwyn tells her that everyone else on stage is topless, and girls are making out in front of Emily. Gina thinks Emily has something going on, like how men have a midlife crisis. Braunwyn says she had one, and ended up in the hospital. She’d rather be on a stage in Vegas.

Vicki puts out food for Shannon and Tamra. Tamra says she has PTSD after Eddie’s heart issues. She thinks about dying all the time, and wants to be stuffed. Vicki says she can’t do that, but Tamra says she’s too claustrophobic to be put the ground, a wall, or a vase. Shannon says she’s enjoying this conversation – not. In Tamra’s interview, she says, hey, there’s mom standing in the corner. She also wouldn’t mind torturing Eddie if he remarries. Shannon tells Vicki about the spa trip, saying it has the traditional spa amenities, and she’s hopeful everyone come. Vicki asks if Boring-wyn is coming, and Tamra asks what she just called Braunwyn. Vicki says, someone called her that, and Tamra says she just did. Vicki says she’s just repeating what someone told her. In Tamra’s interview, she says, Vicki loves to talk sh*t, and then say it’s just what she heard. We flash back to a half-dozen times when Vicki did that. Shannon wants Vicki and Kelly to go. She’s not saying they’ll emerge the way they were, but she wants the low blows to stop. Tamra says part of the nastiness is Vicki putting seeds out in the universe. Vicki says she wants peace, but she’s not going to be Kelly’s punching bag or pin cushion. She doesn’t deserve it. She’s not the type of girl to sit back and take it. Shannon says it happened to her last week, and Emily looked like a dumbass. Tamra says if Vicki wants to move forward, and Kelly throws a bomb, don’t react. Vicki says at some point, it has to stop, but if Kelly attacks her, they have to defend her and tell Kelly to stop. Shannon says if she sees nastiness on any side, Vicki will hear her say something. Vicki says she has no desire to hurt Kelly.

Braunwyn and Deb arrive at Breadcrumb for the group dinner. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says her friends always love Deb. The women have already met her through social media, but this will be the first time they’re meeting face-to-face. Deb tells Braunwyn that she brought gifts for the ladies. Tamra joins them, with Shannon and Kelly close behind. In Kelly’s interview, she says Deb looks a little bit like Betsey Johnson. I say, a little bit? They look like sisters. In their interviews, Shannon says she loves Deb’s style. Tamra says she keeps looking at her to find something new. Kelly says, she has great energy. Tamra says she kind of wants what Deb’s having. Deb and Braunwyn get in a weird argument about a ring Braunwyn is wearing. Deb wants it back, but Braunwyn says Deb gave it to her. Deb tells her, stop banging it and drawing it to her attention then. It’s pretty big, and I don’t think you’d have to bang it to draw attention to it. Kelly asks about Deb’s husband, who’s some kind of neurosurgeon. Deb says they met when he was 19, and she was 27; she loves younger men. She’s been with him 37 years. In Tamra’s interview, she says, seeing Deb, and her ability not give a f**k, she wants to be Dr. Tam when she gets older. Shannon asks how long Deb is going to be there, and Deb says until she’s not needed. Braunwyn says she’s babysitting the kids when they go to Vegas.

Ugh. Shane’s home. Emily shows him her dancing shoes for Vegas. He says, they look like Wicked Witch of the West shoes. She puts them on, and says she was practicing her dance. He asks if she’s exhausted by the time she gets her shoes on. She asks him to come over the couch and talk. He reluctantly does, and she says she’s going to Vegas to dance. He says, good for her. She asks if he’s going to take care of the kids, and he says, no; he’s going to neglect them. She says she hasn’t seen him for two weeks, and there’s been no communicating. He says he was focused, and she says she didn’t want him not to pass the bar, so she left him alone. He say she texted nasty things before he left, and she tells him, she said she was sorry. We see the texts, and at worst, she sounds annoyed, unless they’re not showing everything. For having such a smart mouth though, Shane is uber sensitive. She suggests a mediator might help them communicate better. She feels upset and resentful toward him, and thinks he does too. Shane thinks she communicates her feelings well. She says she has a problem with how he talks to her, and he says, this is turning into a Shane bashing session. (What did I just say?) She says he has a condescending tone, and he’s sarcastic all the time. In Shane’s interview, he says he doesn’t think the sarcasm is to the degree Emily says. He thinks she’s using sarcasm as a blanket excuse to cover everything. She tells him that she doesn’t like being the butt of his jokes. She says, tell me you love me, and he says, you love me. I actually wouldn’t mind Shane’s humor so much if he balanced it out with acting like a human. I come from a long line of sarcastic people, but we’re able to communicate in other ways too.

Deb hands out good-sized quartz crystals in velvet bags. Braunwyn tells Deb that Shannon is into new age healing. We flash back to some of Shannon’s many visits to Dr. Moon. Deb says she is too. In Tamra’s interview, she says Shannon doesn’t hold a candle to Deb. She brings it to a new level. Deb asks if Shannon has an altar in her home, and Shannon says she has crystals hanging in her home for feng shui. In her interview, Tamra says, Deb probably has crystals hanging from her vagina. Shannon asks Kelly if she’s coming on the wellness trip, but Kelly says she doesn’t want to see Vicki. Tamra wonders if Kelly could act like Vicki’s not there. Deb says she might never meet Vicki, and Braunwyn says Vicki can be very reactive, and goes immediately below the belt. In her opinion, Vicki is insecure. Tamra says Vicki loves to say she knows something about so-and-so that no one else knows, but she’s not saying anything. Shannon says she and Tamra spoke to Vicki, and she thought the conversation was encouraging. Vicki was apologetic. She wants the cruelty to end, and says she doesn’t want to fight. Kelly says, she wants the cruelty to end now? Shannon says she’s going to the bathroom. When she gets back, she’d like to hear that Kelly has changed her tune.

Tamra tells Kelly that she has good energy to back her up. Good energy outweighs the bad energy. She has Kelly’s back. In Kelly’s interview, she wonders if they do exorcisms in Arizona. She thinks that’s what it would take to make Vicki a good person. But she’s not going to let Vicki win. She’s not backing down from that old washed-up bitch. Shannon returns, and asks if there’s been any progress. Tamra says, Kelly is coming. We flash back to Vicki meeting Braunwyn, and Tamra tells her about Vicki calling her Boring-wyn. Braunwyn says she’s not boring, and she’ll deflect from Kelly as much as possible. Bring it on. Shannon says when she has peace, she’s a better person . She’s not saying they’ll be best friends, but they can get to a place where they can co-exist. In Shannon’s interview, she says she feels positive, and has high hopes for the trip. Tamra suggests she carry the crystal Deb gave her.

Next time, Emily dances in Vegas, the wellness trip happens, and Gina’s lawyer thinks she should plead guilty.

👠 Back To Her Runway Roots…

Looks like Tinsley is starting to get her NYC mojo back.


💃 Moving Forward…

Bethenny keeps fighting the good fight.


Even though a-holes will be a-holes – i.e. Tamra.


💸 Speaking of That…

Ah-ha! In Nelson voice.


😐 Irreplaceable…

LVP can never be replaced, but I would have thought they’d try a little harder.


🔮 Let the Karma Begin…

Looks like Camille was kinda, sorta right about PK.


🐫 Oh, Mike…

It might be Wednesday, but it feels like Friday to me.









December 19, 2017 – Sam Proposes, Beverly Hills Goes to Vegas & a Little More Vegas


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

At the pub, Curtis says he is bereft without Aunt Stella, who moved out yesterday. She thinks the second she left, he and Jordan were whooping it up in the altogether. Curtis says, maybe. He asks how the new apartment is, and she says a nonstop party. TJ and Molly brought out the neighbors to welcome her, and it lasted until two am. Curtis says she’s already the party girl of the Charles Street district. She says it’s a shame it’s not going to last.

Maxie says the tree feels right, and Nathan says it’s perfect. She tells him that her dad came through with his medical records. Now all they need is his father.

Obrecht talks to Britt in German, and asks how dare they lock her up like a common criminal? Britt says she is one. She was on the run with one of the world’s most dangerous fugitives. She tells Obrecht that if she delivers Faison to the authorities, she can get a drastically reduced sentence. Obrecht asks how she can think of betraying him?

At the gallery, Ava gets flowers. The card congratulates her on taking her life back. Kiki and Griff come in, and Ava says she’s not sure she deserves praise for going back to work. Kiki says it was Griff’s idea, and he tells her it was the least he could do for putting her at odds with her brother.

In the park, Alexis and Danny contribute to Toys for Tots. Julian sees them, and asks if Danny has a hug for grandpa.

Sam answers a knock at the door. It’s Jason. He asks if Drew is home. Drew appears, and says sorry, he should have told Sam that he’d invited Jason over.

Nathan tells Maxie that Obrecht is being squirrely about his father’s medical records. Maxie asks if that isn’t normal, since she lives her life in secret. Nathan confesses he’s not sure about Victor being his father.

Britt says Obrecht is always defending Faison, but it wasn’t the same for her. Obrecht says she was strict with Britt, because she wanted her to live a long and happy life. Britt says that’s why she wants to get the reduced sentence, but Obrecht tells her that she’d be signing her own death warrant.

Kiki leaves to unpack the deliveries. Ava understands why Griff feels the way he does, and is glad he’s honest. He knows she doesn’t want Julian to be found guilty, but it would go a long way in making people feel better about his other crimes, including his father’s murder. Ava says, about that…

Alexis suggests Danny play on the slide while they watch. Julian tells her that he just came to drop off some gifts. She ran off so fast at the pub, he didn’t get a chance to tell her the good news. The charges have been dropped. He’s officially a free man.

Sam asks what’s going on? Drew says they all deserve to know what happened and why. Andre was transferred to a federal facility, but Jason was the last person to see him, and Drew wanted to ask him about it. Jason says Andre took a baseline map of Drew’s original memory, and he wondered if it still exists.

Julian tells Alexis no more ankle monitor. Olivia-J’s statement nullified the case, and he’s trying to rebuild his life. He’s starting from scratch, since he sold the media company. Alexis says she’s not sure the sale is valid, since it was under Jason’s name, but Julian says it was made in good faith, and he’s not going to challenge it. The idea of owning a pub feels like a new beginning, and he’s not being pulled back into his old life. Alexis says it’s his life, and he can live it however he likes, good or bad. He tells her that she took off pretty fast when they ran into each other. She says it was awkward, so she arranged to meet her date elsewhere. He says it must be serious, and he wants her to be happy.

Griff asks Ava if all is forgiven, just like that. Ava says Olivia-J threatened him; he didn’t commit the crimes willingly. Griff says he still willingly ordered his father’s murder. Kiki comes back, saying Dillon is coming home tomorrow, and she can’t wait. In perfect soap timing, Dillon calls, and she leaves to talk to him. Ava tells Griff that Julian offered to make himself scarce, but he doesn’t want her to have to choose. She asks how he’s going to handle it then?

Britt tells Obrecht it’s not like she framed Faison. He did everything he’s wanted for. Obrecht says her father is a genius, untroubled by empathy and remorse. He’ll destroy her if she goes against him. Britt says he’ll be in prison, but Obrecht says he’s escaped from countless prisons, and he doesn’t forgive a traitor.

Nathan talks to Maxie about meeting Victor, and how he told Nathan that he was his father. He wonders if his mother never told him because it wasn’t true. She might have backed him up, but maybe she thought it was safer. She’s dragging her feet about the records, and he doesn’t trust it. Victor is dead, and they might never know who the baby’s paternal grandfather is.

Stella tells Curtis that investor types are eyeing the neighborhood for gentrification. They could be forced out by greedy landlords. Curtis says it’s not happening anytime soon, so enjoy her bachelor pad. She says the first thing she unpacked was a picture of him and Tommy. Christmas makes her feel his absence more keenly; his senseless death and the part Jordan played in it. Curtis says he thinks about Tommy every day. He would be glad they’re in each other’s lives, but would kick Curtis’s ass if he didn’t give her a housewarming gift.

Jordan visits the gallery, and says it looks good. Ava remembers when Jordan worked there, and says it could have been a great friendship if Jordan hadn’t been working undercover to get her brother. She adds that Jordan did get her out of some tight spots more than once.

Griff sees Kiki crying in the hallway. Dillon can’t come home for Christmas.

Maxie wonders why Obrecht would lie. Why would any mother lie, and say Victor was their child’s father? She can’t think of a worse candidate than that psycho.

Britt promises Obrecht not to betray her father. She doesn’t even know where he is. Obrecht says her life at stake. She’s sure Britt’s lawyer can get her only a few months in minimum security. She tells Britt that she doesn’t want to bring her father’s wrath down on both of them. She can stand between them, and is a formidable woman, but she’s no match for him. Britt knows him better now, and must realize what would happen. Britt tells her not to worry; she won’t say anything. Obrecht tells her that they must move forward. Once her legal troubles are settled, she can rebuild her life. Right now, Britt would rather focus on Nathan’s new baby. Obrecht says they made her feel like family at the party. Britt says why not return the favor, and give Nathan the medical records he needs?

Julian tells Alexis that the best Christmas gift for him, is for her to be happy. She calls for Danny, and he asks if she’s making another hasty exit left. He tells her that when she made the last one, she left her scarf at the pub, and to stop by any time to pick it up. Alexis guesses she should be resigned to seeing him. Julian tells Danny that he’s going to see Santa, and asks if Danny has anything special he wants. Danny says Santa already knows what he wants, but what about Julian? He says he wants something special. It’s a long shot, but Santa has magic.

Jason explains that Andre put his methodology about the baseline on a flash drive, and put the drive inside an ornament and gave it to someone. Jason thinks he wanted out, but wanted a record of his work. Drew asks if he was unable to retrieve it, and Jason says it was put in with ornaments for the community tree by mistake, and it’s missing. Sam asks if it’s completely gone, and Jason says it’s more complicated than that.

Britt asks if Obrecht doesn’t want her grandchild to have every advantage. Obrecht says she’s arranged for the medical records to be sent. She had so many failings as a mother, and wonders if she’ll do better as a grandmother. Britt says she can start by not telling the story of Krampus. Obrecht says she’ll tell the story of how Britt is the best aunt a child could want instead. Britt promises she’ll be back, and they’ll find a way to be happy. Obrecht agrees that they will.

Nathan marvels at the baby growing inside Maxie. He asks if it’s okay to… and she says, definitely.

Kiki tells Griff that Dillon is taking a leave of absence to be the director on a friend’s Indy film. She hasn’t seen him in months, and now he’s going to be surrounded by actresses on the beach. What if she puts all this work into being a doctor, and she turns out to be a big fat loser with no boyfriend or career? She’s going to California, and forgetting her delusions of grandeur.

Jordan asks Ava about a sculpture that she wants. Ava says it was one of a pair, and Kiki must have sold the other one unknowingly. She says she’ll give Jordan a good deal.

Jason explains about the ornament being missing. Sam says someone knew, and Drew says, and didn’t want them to find it. Alexis comes back with Danny. Danny sees Jason, and says he came back. He tells Alexis that Jason is mommy’s friend from when he was a baby. Sam tells Alexis that they’re just sorting through a few things, and Alexis says to call if she needs help. After she leaves, Danny says Jason looks like someone in the pictures at Grandma. Jason says he knows her, and she’s a nice lady. Sam distracts Danny with some new juice boxes. Jason thinks he should go, but Drew says he doesn’t think so. Danny needs to know Jason is his father.

When Danny returns from the kitchen, Sam says they found out something he needs to know, but it doesn’t change how much they both love him; nothing will ever change that. She tells him that they found out daddy and mommy’s friend are actually brothers, like him and Jake. There was a mix-up, daddy is actually his uncle, and mommy’s friend is actually his daddy. Danny asks if Drew isn’t his dad, and Drew says no; he’s Danny’s uncle. He doesn’t care what Danny calls him; he’ll always love him. Sam says it just means he has more people to love. Danny asks if Jason loves him, and Jason says he does. Danny asks why he was gone so long? Jason tells him that he didn’t want to go away, and tried his hardest to get back. Danny asks if he was sad when he was gone, and Jason says he was, but when he got back and saw Danny, it made him feel better that Danny had a great family. Danny asks why he didn’t say something right away? Jason says there was a lot to figure out. There still is, but he’d like to get to know Danny when he feels ready. Danny says he’s ready now. Wow. This kid is really taking this well. Jason asks if they should shake hands, but Danny asks for hug. Jason hugs him.

There’s a knock at Maxie and Nathan’s door. Nathan answers shirtless. It’s Obrecht who thinks he just got up, and asks if no one taught him about the early bird. Maxie comes in, saying she thought he was joining her in the shower, and Obrecht says, oh, he was catching something better than worms. She gives him a folder, saying it’s the medical history of an extraordinary man. Maxie says Nathan is the one thing Victor did right. Obrecht has busy day, but says on Christmas, she will bring her famous strudel, and they can play cards and dream about the little one. When she’s gone, Maxie says she was stranger than usual. Nathan thinks she knew what she was doing.

Stella unwraps a sculpture, and Curtis reminds her of when she used to drag him and Tommy to the museum in Philadelphia. Afterward, she would ask about what they saw, and how it made them feel. She says they hated those trips, but Curtis says he just wasn’t willing to own up to the fact he liked art. The piece reminds him of those trips. Stella says she’ll cherish it. Jordan enters, and congratulates Stella on her new home. She says Curtis told her about how she taught him to appreciate art, and gives Stella a box. It’s the same piece in a different color, and Stella says it’s a pity. Jordan says the gallery owner said they were companion pieces. Curtis says, great minds think alike, and now she’s the proud owner of a matching set. Stella sees no reason to have two, and says she’ll return the one Jordan gave her, and donate the money to those not as blessed.

Griff tells Kiki that the road to be a doctor is a difficult and terrifying one. He questioned himself every day. He says she can do it, one step at a time, and keep her eyes on the prize. He tells her to shoot for her dreams, try her best, and she’ll never be a failure in his eyes. Ava has been listening, and says, or in hers. Griff tells Kiki it will be all right; trust him. Kiki says she does. She needs to have a serious conversation with Dillon, and hit books. Ava tells Griff that he got through better than she could have. Julian pops in.

Jason tells Danny that he’ll see him soon, and Danny suggests he come to Grandma Monica’s, so he can see how he taught Annabelle to shake hands. Jason leaves, and Danny goes upstairs to play. Sam is choked up, saying it was hard. Drew says he’s sorry she has to go through this. He thought after Jake, it couldn’t get harder, but it breaks his heart into more pieces. Sam knows he feels like he’s losing everything, but he still has everything. He has Danny, Jake, and Scout, and he’ll always have her. He asks how he can have any of them? He has nothing to give. He doesn’t even know who he really is.

Stella steps away to take a call from TJ. Jordan thought they were doing well on Thanksgiving. Curtis says Stella gets this way around Christmas; it’s all about Thomas. Jordan says, and she’s the one who took him away, so she’s the Grinch. Curtis says that’s not true. When they’re done with the holidays, things will be better. He kisses her.

Stella runs into Alexis, and thanks her for Thanksgiving. Alexis says too bad dinner ended up on the floor. Stella tells her about the time Curtis’s birthday cake was trampled by the pony she hired. She says she likes David, and that they cross paths occasionally. He had been enthusiastic about the Charles Street district; now she lives there. Alexis says David has a thing about it, and Stella recommends it highly. TJ told her that this was the neighborhood place, so she’s sure they’ll be running into each other.

Julian asks what they’re going to do about this? Griff seems to have a problem with him.

Maxie tells Nathan that his mom wasn’t lying for once. His father was super healthy, and their baby will have super genes. He hopes she’s right. There’s something wrong with the records.

Sam tells Drew that she knows who he is; the man she loves, but he took the proposal off the table. He says with everything she has in her life, how can he ask her to choose him, when he doesn’t even know who he is. He owes her to know who she’s married to. Sam says he doesn’t owe her anything. She asks him to marry her. He calls her small and mighty, and asks if she’s sure this is what she wants. She gets down on her knees, and he does too. He wants her to remember this is the moment they decided, because they love each other. Sam says it’s a moment they’ll remember forever. Drew tells her he’ll marry her. She grabs his face, and kisses him. He tells her that he loves her.

Tomorrow, Alexis asks Ned what he’s doing there, Laura has to ask Lulu something, and Maxie doesn’t think she can do this.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika talks to her creative director about a new project. She says yes to everything, since you’re only given an opportunity once, and the moment is fleeting.  So she’s maximizing her m-f-ing time. She never thought she’d be where she is in her mid-40s. We see a clip of Erika being parodied on SNL. Yep, she’s in the big time now. She tells us she’s where she is because of her husband’s support. Her life has exploded.

LisaR has a rat problem, and I don’t mean one of the other girls. Actual rodents. Her daughters are modeling now, and she’s making a trip with them to New York. LisaR says she’s managing everything and everybody. God love Harry Hamlin, but he’s not doing sh*t. A doctor comes over to give them vitamin injections. She wants to keep her daughters grounded, so the attention doesn’t go to their heads, and I wonder how that’s working out when the “concierge doctor” makes a house call for nonsense.

Kyle meets LVP at a restaurant. Her bag needs its own chair. Kyle’s show, American Woman, is inspired by her life with her mom in the 70s, and is finally on the air. She tells LVP she’s planning a trip to Vegas for Erika and Dorit’s birthdays. LVP informs her that LisaR’s birthday is also around the same time. In her interview, LVP wonders how Dorit will take being with LisaR in Vegas, since LisaR got down and dirty last year. She hopes LisaR has learned her lesson. Kyle says they’ll have to get over it, and wonders if they need a bouncer for the plane. She feels like she’s in the middle, and doesn’t want that anymore. She’s inviting everyone, and too bad. If somebody doesn’t like it, they don’t have to go.

Dorit takes Jagger to his music class. They’ve always had a close connection, but now that he verbalizes, he can make his thoughts clear, and is into being with other kids. New Housewife Teddi is hosting the class. Afterward, they discuss trampolines as they sip champagne. Dorit sees a big change in Jagger’s personality. He’s a more confident, fun, and excited child. Dorit says they’ve spent the last four and a half moths in Miami while renovations are being done on the house. Now that she’s back, she wants to connect with other moms. Teddi says she rode horses for so many years, she didn’t know any moms, and that’s why she started the class. Dorit tells her about LVP, who builds her vacations around where she can take her horses. Wow. I can barely remember what a vacation is.

Kyle visits Erika at her office. Coolest. Office. Ever. Omg, I love the banana leaf patterned chairs. She shows Kyle her makeup room, where the light can be adjusted to be like daylight. Scary, but a good way to put on daytime makeup. Kyle says they’re going to Croatia, and a pool is being put in while they’re gone. She apologizes for not being able to see Erika in Dancing with the Stars. Erika says it was a new experience, letting someone else take control. Kyle asks about the girls’ trip, saying Erika’s birthday is between Dorit’s and LisaR’s. Erika makes an are-you-kidding? face. In her interview, Erika says the bottom could fall out; pack your own chute. Erika wonders about the elephant in the room, but says okay. We flash back to her telling Dorit she’s willing to try again, but it’s a slow process.

Teddi tells us that growing up, she lived well, but always knew the value of a dollar. Her husband was supposed to be a one-night-stand. The next morning, she thought his name was Edward, and it’s Edwin. That’s actually a funny/cute story. Her dad is John Mellencamp, and when she was a kid, thought everybody’s dad was on the radio. I can identify somewhat. My father designed and built the house I grew up in, and having a wife and two daughters, made the bathroom quite large. I was shocked when I saw other people’s bathrooms. I’d just assumed everyone had a bathroom that big. Teddi tells us that her father didn’t act like a famous guy, and nothing was just handed to her. She wants the same for her kids, and doesn’t want them acting entitled. She’s about a million times more down-to-earth than LisaR.

Dorit says they’ve gone way over budget with the renovations. She wanted an indoor/outdoor space, a kitchen facelift, and a bigger master closet. PK is surprised she’s going to Vegas with Erika and LisaR. He says last time he saw Erika, she was horrible to him. We flash back to the reunion. He adds that LisaR was a joke. In her interview, Dorit says LisaR came after her to defame her character. We flash back to the reunion some more. PK says he’s going to keep his opinions to himself.

Dorit and Teddi meet for drinks. LVP joins them, and says she loves the name Teddi. Teddi tells her that her name was originally Teddi Joe; it was very country. LVP grills her, and says if she has a sense of humor, they’re good. Teddi says her sense of humor is very dry. They talk horses. LVP tells them about the Vegas trip, and how it’s everybody’s birthday. Dorit hasn’t had any communication with Erika, and tells them it remains to be seen how it goes. She’s a little worried, and says it depends on what attitude Erika brings. She’d thought she and Erika would be fast friends, but Erika wasn’t very warm. She’s prepared to move past it though. Teddi’s birthday is tomorrow, and Dorit asks her to come along. LVP adds, if she’s brave enough. Dorit gets all excited.

Everyone packs for the trip. Their closets all look like stores. Erika is bringing her glam squad. She says pretty soon she’ll need an aircraft hangar for her clothes, and informs us that Cary Grant had one. I didn’t know that.

Camille joins the ladies at the airport. She just flew in from Hawaii, and is already exhausted. In her interview, Kyle says Dorit’s hair is different every time she sees her, and she could really be bald for all Kyle knows. Teddi is introduced around. Erika says, fresh beginnings, happy birthday, yay. Kyle explains that LisaR is still in New York, but will be coming later if she’s able. She invited Eileen, but she couldn’t make it. Right. She’s probably washing her hair. We find out Teddi doesn’t like to shop, and it gets very quiet. That’s it. She’s off the show. Erika talks about buzz shopping, saying she buys more once she’s had a cocktail. Lisa callsR, and says she has the girls covered, and will meet them in Vegas tonight. In her interview, Dorit says she has unresolved feelings, and it would be a better trip without LisaR, but the time is guaranteed fun with LVP and Kyle.

We’re off. Happy birthdays and champagne all around. I would love to fly like this just once. There’s turbulence, and Kyle gets weird. LVP spills champagne on Kyle’s Birkin bag, and chaos and hilarity ensue.

A butler comes with the hotel suite. Kyle says LVP always wants the best room, but she’s taking it this time. Like any of these rooms are shabby. Camille, LVP and Kyle hang out in LVP’s room. Camille asks if things are cool with LisaR now. Kyle tells them about running into Harry on a hike, and how he said her sister can never be around the group again. Since Kim isn’t on the trip (or the show this season), I don’t see this as being a problem, but really? #WhatDidHarryDo  We flash back to the bunny incident at the reunion. Kyle says Harry was clearly upset, and it was weird. She’d rather have an enema or root canal than discuss it with LisaR. LVP thinks it will be a recipe for disaster with Dorit.

Dorit has brought her hair and makeup stylists, because she can’t live without them. Erika’s squad works on her. She tells them no polite lip. Everyone looks fantastic, and make me wonder why I even bother. The ladies gather for a kiki before going out. Teddi has a fabulous body, and is wearing the shortest dress in the world. LisaR shows up, and Dorit says, help.

Next time, fun at the club, a sex toy made of ice, gambling, Erika admits to being an a-hole, and Dorit confronts Lisa.

🎡 Las Vegas

LasVegas3  LasVegas


😜 Emojis of the Week


December 27, 2016 – A Ship Called Reincarnation, an Escape Room in Beverly Hills & Speed Londoning


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Wow. The celebrities have been dropping like flies. Carrie Fisher just passed away. Not quite as much of a shock as George Michael or Alan Thicke, but still, wow.

General Hospital

Valentin curses his life. Nina comes running in, and he tells her he lost something.

Anna is having coffee at the MetroCourt and Laura joins her. She wants to follow up about Valentin. Anna wonders what the Christmas thing was about, and Laura says he’s playing with them and needs to be neutralized. Funny, she never uses words like that.

Curtis and Jason meet Sam at Kelly’s. Jason tells her they’re no longer convinced that Julian is behind the bombing.

Winston tells the boss that he thinks Julian and Alexis have assumed relations and Julian is no longer convalescing. What? Ha-ha! Nobody uses the words like the villains use on this show. He says that they need to keep Julian in line. He needs to be reminded that there are consequences to any disobedience.

Alexis wakes to Julian’s face, but it’s just a dream. He calls to her from downstairs. Holy! She takes a drink before she even gets out of bed. I went to a party last weekend, and even now, just the thought of that makes my stomach turn.

Curtis tells Sam that they haven’t ruled Julian out officially, and they think he knows more than he’s saying. Jason says whoever did this used the van and deliberately left it to be found. Sam asks if they think it’s a set up, and Curtis says they’re not ruling out any possibilities. Curtis leaves to do “that thing.” Jason says he thinks both Julian and Sonny were set up.

Alexis asks Julian if it isn’t enough that he ruined her life and blackmailed her, does she really have to clock in? He says anyone would be worried if they knew how hard she was hitting the bottle. She asks if he doesn’t have someone to answer to, like a boss. Speaking of which…

Winston tells the boss that they have other means at their disposal, and he’ll deal with it right away. Maybe Winston is nuts and he’s really the boss. I don’t really think so, but this one-sided conversation is getting old.

Nina says she’ll help Valentin look, but he says he overreacted. He tells her that it’s an old photograph.

Anna tells Laura not to do anything, because she’s working with the WSB. Laura says she’s running out of time. Lulu is going to fight for custody, but if the court rules against her, Laura is afraid of what Lulu will do. Anna says Lulu should be careful or she’ll lose all access to Charlotte. Laura says if Lulu loses, she’ll eliminate Valentin herself. Man, Laura is feisty today.

Jason tells Sam that Sonny had controlled Port Charles for over twenty years, and Julian came along two years ago and took over. He wonders what if someone else wanted the territory? He talks about the pawn shop, and Sam says she’ll help to investigate. Lucas walks in. I forgot he’s even on this show, it’s been so long. Curtis calls Jason who tells him the pawn shop is closed. He’s going to track down Winston, but in the meantime the shop is unattended. Jason says he’ll get on that and jets. Lucas asks Sam about Julian’s accident, and Sam says she’s sorry she bothered visiting him.

Julian tells Alexis that he’s being supportive, giving Alexis someone to talk to. He says he’s the only one who knows how terrified she is that she won’t get back to where she was, and drinking isn’t going to get her out of it.

Anna says that Laura has every right to sacrifice herself, but they should make sure it doesn’t come to that. She promises there’s always something to be found with someone like Valentin.

Nina asks what’s up with the photo. Valentin says it’s a relic from his past, and it reminds him how far he’s come and how far he has to go.

Laura asks Anna what she’d do if Valentin came after Robin or Emma. Laura sees Lulu and says good-by to Anna. Andre arrives and takes Laura’s place at Anna’s table. He says Anna’s message sounded urgent.

Lulu joins Laura talk about Rocco’s new Christmas puppy. Lulu says the only thing missing on Christmas was Charlotte. Laura says she spoke to Scotty. Lulu wonders what court would let Valentin keep Charlotte. Laura says plenty of courts would do just that.

Anna shows Andre the photo, and tells him that an associate found it in Valentin’s possession. Even though the picture is from her early WSB days, she says Robert told her that Valentin never went through the WSB program. Andre says he could have gotten the photo and information from someone else who knew her back in the day.

Valentin tells Nina that the photo was sentimental. She says he’s doing it again – the mysterious thing. He drops a hint and pulls back, and it doesn’t work for her anymore. He apologizes, and says he doesn’t trust people very easily. She asks if they don’t both have to take a leap of faith and trust each other if they’re going to have a relationship.

Laura tells Lulu that they have to come up with a plan. Lulu says she’s Charlotte’s mom and wants Charlotte with her. She says she can offer Charlotte a safe, stable environment, while Valentin is a single parent and a murderer. Laura says that Charlotte is old enough for the court to take her wishes into consideration. They need to have their best strategy to win before they go to war. She suggests striking a deal and sharing custody.

Alexis tells Julian that she doesn’t interfere with his publishing business, and to stop acting like he cares. She says he’s delusional if he thinks you can love your wife and then try to kill her. He says what about when she kissed him last night, or is she going to deny it happened? Um…didn’t they already talk all about that last night?

Sam tells Lucas that ever since she got pregnant, Danny keeps asking when Lucas and Brad are having kids. Lucas says that Julian would want to place himself in his hypothetical child’s life, and he doesn’t want that.

Alexis tells Julian the kiss meant nothing, and unfortunately, she wasn’t drunk. She was trying to give him a tiny taste of how he treats her. Julian is about to tell her something that’s supposedly a bombshell, when the doorbell rings. It’s Winston. He says he’s there to see Julian and Alexis asks if he works for Julian. Winston says he works with him.

Jason lets himself into the pawn shop. The boss watches on the monitor. Curtis watches as Alexis lets Winston in, and says that’s just weird. Jason checks out the model ship.

Sam shows Lucas pictures of Danny on her phone, and he sees the Chinese food bag by accident. She says it’s just something she’s working on. He tells her that the characters don’t say “good taste” in Chinese.

Jason remembers Winston talking about the ship and how he’s holding it for a customer.

Curtis wonders what the owner of a shady ass pawn shop has going on with Alexis. He hears on the scanner that an armed and dangerous guy has broken into the pawn shop.

Winston comments that Julian has a lovely wife. She says ex-wife, and Winston says Julian must be doing something right. He asks for privacy, and Alexis says he doesn’t need to ask twice. After she’s gone, Winston says that Julian didn’t say anything about relocating, and keeping secrets doesn’t look good. The boss has asked him to show Julian something they’ve been keeping from him.

Andre tells Anna that one of her former classmates or instructors could have given Valentin the information. She doesn’t believe it. She says that Valentin enjoys provoking her, and everything is calculated. Whatever happened between them is personal to him.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s the one taking a big risk. If she has to trust him, he has to trust her. He says he’s spent his life not trusting anyone.

Lulu can’t believe what Laura just asked her to do. Laura says she’s afraid of the consequences Lulu will face if she doesn’t win. She’s asking the court to place Charlotte with a stranger. Lulu says that’s why she needs custody right now, so they can bond. Laura says strike a deal so she can do that, and they can bide their time until the circumstances favor them, and then pull the rug out from under Valentin. She tells Lulu that they have to be patient, but the WSB will get enough information to put him away. Lulu says if Valentin was a good man, she’d be glad to share custody, but she thinks Charlotte is in danger, and one way or another she’ll win.

Nina asks Valentin about the photograph. He says pain is useful and can keep him from making the same mistake again. There was someone he trusted, and he let her see the real him, and she made him pay a steep price. (Anna?) The only one he’s trusted since is Charlotte. Nina says there’s good news – if he let Charlotte in, maybe he’ll let someone else in.

Sam asks Lucas when he started speaking Chinese, and he says he just speaks a little. She asks him to translate. He says it seems to be saying “reincarnation.” I laugh because I totally misunderstood. I guess Good Taste is the restaurant name. I thought Lucas was inferring that the characters were not in good taste and cursed you out or something.

Curtis calls Jason and tells him to get out of the pawn shop; the cops are on their way. We hear sirens and Jason says, too late.

Winston shows Julian security footage of when Alexis hit him. Oh please, can we see him fly in the air again? Nope. Julian says she called 911, and wonders why he was told the footage was unusable. Winston says maybe someone got there first and took out the good parts. He wonders about Alexis’s standing with the bar association if this comes out. Julian says if he harms Alexis, and begins to threaten him, but Winston says Julian won’t let that happen, right? He lets himself out, and Alexis comes back downstairs.

Laura tells Lulu that the next step is for her to sit down with her lawyer and husband and plot the case. Lulu is surprised that Laura isn’t fighting her harder. Laura says bottom line, she has Lulu’s back, and Charlotte belongs with her no matter what.

Nina tells Valentin that they have to look for the photo, but he says someone took it. She wonders if it’s Charlotte, and he says someone else.

Anna tells Andre that she has a bit of a memory. She was young and walking down a corridor, and hears whistling – the same tune that Valentin taught Charlotte. Andre says with the intense training, her memory might not be reliable. Anna starts to tear up. She says even if it’s just a fragment or out of context, she has to get to the end of the memory. She has to walk down the corridor and find out what’s behind the door. She thinks the answers will tumble out when it’s opened. She wants Andre to hypnotize her.

Jason and Curtis come back to Kelly’s. Sam asks what’s wrong. Jason says good thing Curtis has a police scanner because he almost got caught. Curtis tells her that he called 911 to report a scary clown incident down the block to divert them. He says obviously, someone saw Jason.

A cop arrives at the pawn shop. He asks Winston about the security footage, but Winston says the cameras are just for show and haven’t worked in years. He says that the sirens must have scared the intruder off and nothing was taken.

Jason tells Sam that it wasn’t a total loss; he snagged the model ship. It has the same Chinese characters on it that are on the bag. Sam tells them that it means reincarnation.

Winston tells the boss that the model boat is missing.

Curtis wonders if the person Winston met with this morning might give them information. He tells them Winston was with Sam’s mama.

Alexis asks what part of Julian’s work includes her. She wonders why he’s so tense. Julian says if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was worried about him. She tells him not to flatter himself.

Winston says that Julian has been put in his place for the time being, but he and the boss have a more urgent problem. It’s time to do something about Jason Morgan.

Because the shows are out of sync, there’s no preview, just the extra-long credits where they actually show everyone who worked on GH, which usually happens on Christmas Eve.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika is going to the CBS studio to discuss her part on The Young and the Restless, and she’s nervous. In her interview, she talks about when she first moved to LA and went on auditions, and how she’s a showgirl rather than an actress. She makes a good point in saying everyone hits their strides at different times, and she hates when people give you a shelf life, like if you don’t do something by a certain age, you’re done. Says who? she says. You go, Erika Jayne!

Kyle and LisaV meet for drinks. Lisa tells Kyle that West Hollywood is supporting her fight against the Yulin dog meat trade, and she wants to put political pressure on China. In her interview, she says she wants to make it her life’s work to stop dog torture. I love Lisa and want to know when I can move in. They joke about Erika not wearing underwear at the pre-white party kiki. Kyle thinks Dorit is just a little annoyed and not ready to let it go. Lisa says she likes her knickers. Me too.

Erika arrives at the studio, and Eileen meets her. She tells Eileen she doesn’t want to let her down. Executive producer Mal meets with them. We find out that Erika was (loosely) named after Erika Kane on All My Children. They discuss what kind of part she would like. She says she’s more like the hooker next door than the girl next door. He asks if they would like a scene together, and they would. In her interview, Erika jokes that she doesn’t want to single-handedly sink the show.

Dorit and PK take daughter Phoenix to the doctor. She wears a headband because she favored one side while sleeping, and it started to affect her skull. Dorit is hoping they’re getting closer to being able to take it off. They look at before and after pictures, and the doctor says she’s done wearing it. Dorit is ecstatic.

LisaR goes to do her QVC thing. She started with them after her stores tanked, and she has a “today’s special value” going on, which means you sell during a 24-hour period. I gotta say, the duster sweaters she’s selling are nice. She says her hustle has just begun, and you only get an hour’s sleep on a day like this. She’s happy that Harry is at the point where he no longer has to work, because there were so many years where he took parts just to support the family.

Lisa calls Harry. He wonders why she’s selling sweaters in the middle of summer, but she says she’s halfway to her goal. He admits they’re cool sweaters. Told you. Even Harry thinks so. (#WhatDidHarryDo) She asks if he talked to their daughters who are loose in NYC. He says he texted and tracked them, and they were where they were supposed to be. Like a kid can’t figure out a way around that.

Kyle just got back from the callback session for her show. She calls Mauricio and tells him how surreal it is seeing people playing herself and people she knows. She thought Portia was too young to audition, and it would also be too strange. She’s happy that they’ll be filming close to home, and talks about how difficult it is for her and Mauricio to be in the same place at once lately.

Eileen calls QVC saying she wants a sweater in every color. She nicely plugs the line while she’s on the phone.

Giggy! Harrison! LisaV and Ken visit their dog rescue. The manager thanks her for the donation. In her interview, Lisa explains that they started the foundation, and use both donations and their own money. Lisa wants one of the dogs, and Ken says every animal she sees, she wants. She says well, she did marry him. In her interview, she talks about how Ken made a U-turn in the middle of the highway to rescue a dog when they were first dating, and she knew she was going to marry him. He helps groom one of the dogs. They’re also doing a documentary and entering a resolution into Congress about stopping dog torture. Lisa says her life has gone to the dogs, and wonders how many you need before you look like a crazy person. The manager says she’s the wrong person to ask. So am I.

Dorit gets together with LisaR and Eileen, who go nuts over her shoes. Lisa calls her taste “exotic,” and Eileen is shocked that she just had a baby and looks so good. Dorit tells them about Phoenix’s skull problem, and that she’s officially on the other side of it. They talk about the various traumas their children have put them through.

They discuss Erika inviting them to an escape room experience. Eileen suggests no one drink beforehand. Dorit tells them about Erika’s lack of underwear at the kiki. She says she thought that Erika was wearing nude-colored panties, and then realized how hard her husband was staring. Not that she blames him. She says he told her later that it was uncomfortable, even though he couldn’t look away. In her interview, Lisa thinks Dorit is overreacting, and it would be easy to forget about crossing your legs. Um…I don’t think I’d forget. Lisa thinks they’re misjudging Erika because of her looks, and Eileen doesn’t think she was flashing on purpose. Dorit plans on giving Erika some panties, and Eileen wants to witness that.

Kyle meets Dorit for some shopping in one of those rich people stores that has like five dresses. Dorit tells her about having drinks with Eileen and LisaR. They talk about Erika, and Kyle says she doesn’t think Erika did anything on purpose. Dorit tells Kyle about what PK said. In her interview, Dorit says she thinks Erika has a good sense of humor, and buys a pair of lacy panties for her. Kyle thinks it could go terribly wrong, but wants to be there when it happens. What is up with these women?

Eileen tells Erika that Mal wants her to read, and the writers will come up with something for her.  The girls all meet at the escape room place. Dorit says she’s giving Erika a cheeky gift, since they’ve all seen her pretty little puss. Erika isn’t happy about PK seeing the view, and wonders why he didn’t say something. Well, he doesn’t really know Erika, and it’s up there with telling someone their fly is open. Worse. I’m pretty good with things like that, but not everyone is.

Erika takes the undies in good humor. Dorit says the whole thing took on a life of his own. Erika tells her that the only reason she wasn’t wearing underwear was because of the dress. In her interview, Dorit wonders how you wouldn’t know that you’re flashing someone. Erika tells her the more you talk about sh*t the worse it gets, so be careful. Dorit wonders if that’s a threat. She tells Erika that she didn’t want it to be a thing, and they act friendly. LisaV arrives. Erika tells her about the underwear, and Lisa says she already heard about it.

The host gives them instructions on finding clues, etc. It’s cool, like an old, weird apothecary – their adventure is called “The Alchemist” – but looks complicated like a Survivor challenge. They break into teams. LisaV is with Eileen and Dorit. In her interview, Lisa says that she’s escaping from both the room and Eileen. LisaR thinks she’s going to be trapped forever. It looks like fun, and they do pretty well, making it out of the room. Eileen is proud that she and LisaV teamed together, considering where they were a few months ago.

The ladies go for drinks afterward. They’re very proud of themselves. They talk about Kim’s daughter having a baby. In her interview, Kyle says the baby couldn’t come at a better time for Kim, who’s doing well with her sobriety. Kyle says they’re all starving because they’re not used to using their brains so much. LisaV asks what happened, since she wasn’t there for the delivery of the underwear. Omg, let’s keep beating that dead kitty horse. Lisa is disappointed that there isn’t more to the story. Erika says the only thing she feels badly that PK didn’t say something, and Dorit says what I did. Erika says it’s all good. Dorit tells her that they can always have a chat about it, but Erika thinks there’s nothing else to say. In her interview, Kyle says Erika seems cool, but probably wants to take this bitch down. They order another Margarita round. LisaV asks if they’re done with the conversation, and both Dorit and Erika say, “I am.” Wondering about Dorit though…

Next time, LisaR tells the others about Eileen losing her mother, Erika says someone (Dorit?) takes the fun out of hanging out with women, and the no underwear saga continues. 👙

Ladies of London mention. Caroline #1 thinks that her family should just blindly back her even if she does the worst thing in the world, so she’s very disappointed in Alexis Carrington Sophie. Her husband explains that what Caroline is doing is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die. Julie is worried that because her daughter likes coffee, the second she goes to university in Scotland, she’ll hole up in a coffeehouse and smoke marijuana. Huh? Marissa’s husband wants to move back to the states, but she’s not too keen on it. She says she’s had enough adventure this year to last her a lifetime. Juliet’s hair keeps getting lighter…and so does her brain since she’s been hanging around with Caroline #1. Caroline #1 actually surprises me by being less of an a-hole this week, finally listening to Adela, who’s going through a bitter and stressful time with her ex. Although it looks like she might make up for that next week, when she’s mean to Caroline #2. Who, btw, is writing a new cookbook, and tells a lovely story about how her passion for food came from her mother and grandmother, talking about picking mushrooms and berries in the forest. We also get a look at the estate she’s responsible for running. Sigh…

📻 And the soundtrack tonight was excellent!

December 13, 2016 – Tom is Trapped, Dorit is Celebrating & Caroline #1 is Just Plain Rude


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tom says Franco can’t keep him forever. Franco says he’s in there because of what he did to Elizabeth and clearly he hasn’t been rehabilitated. He tells Tom he’s going to make sure that he never hurts anyone again.

Hayden and Finn are talking and all of a sudden she has a seizure, and the alarms go off.

Carly asks Michael what’s up with his outfit. He says Nell felt under-dressed for the gala, so he made some modifications. He asks if Carly has seen Nell, and explains she was gone when he came back to the terrace.

Nell asks herself why she went with Michael when she knew it was only going to make things harder. She looks at her scar and says it doesn’t change what Carly did, and she deserves what she has coming.

Sonny asks Jason if he’s going to tell Carly what happened between him and Nell.

Carly tells Michael that maybe they got their wires crossed. Nell wouldn’t just leave when they were having a good time. He says maybe she’s right.

Nell looks at the note from her father that she keeps in a music/jewelry box. The kind with the ballerina that spins around. Her phone rings.

Sonny says Jason can’t run to Carly and tell her. Jason says he wasn’t going to do that, but he wants sonny to. Sonny says he’s not easing his conscience at Carly’s expense.

Michael and Carly discuss Christmas plans. She tells him that she and Sonny are getting along, and she’s probably spending most of Christmas at his house. Michael asks if they’re getting back together. She says she didn’t mean to imply that, but they are getting along, and she thinks it would be good for all of them to be together.

Tracy runs into Hayden’s room and tells Hayden she’s going to be all right. Finn injects a stabilizer. It’s the drug he’s been taking, and Tracy says she thought he was running low. He says he is, and it won’t keep them both alive much longer.

Tom tells Franco that he paid his debt to society. Tom asks what Franco deserves. Franco says he was sick, and Tom asks what he thinks this is. Franco says he’s doing a public service and protecting every woman who’s unlucky enough to cross Tom’s path. Elizabeth knocks at the door. Franco turns up the music, and gives Tom a shock on the collar before he can say anything. Franco tells him if he tries to take off the collar, he’ll turn it up to Irish Wolfhound.

Franco answers the door. Elizabeth says she’s on her dinner break, and she needs to talk to him about Tom.

Finn says now that he and Hayden are sharing, it’s two weeks tops. Tracy says she’ll call Sonny, but Finn says the last time was a problem, and this time someone might call the FBI. He says Hayden was exposed to a concentrated form of the disease, so it’s hitting her harder, and the shot will only keep her going one or two days. Tracy tells him to get to work and quit hovering around her; the only hope they have is for him to find a cure. She tells him to get on it before she has to bury him, and he has to bury Hayden. Hmm…that sequence doesn’t sound right.

Nell thinks about Michael. Then she thinks about Sonny. She texts Michael.

Michael tells Carly that Sonny wants her there for Christmas, but she shouldn’t get Sonny’s hopes up. Nell texts him that she wasn’t feeling well. He tells Carly that whatever she decides, he’s there for her and he loves them both.

Sonny asks Jason if he wants him to make Carly’s holidays worse by telling her about Nell. Jason says Carly will understand. Sonny says it’s not like Jason never kept a secret; he pretended to be Michael’s father for a year. Jason says that was to protect them. Sonny says keep the secret and he saves a family. If he tells Carly, he risks breaking them up for good.

Michael knocks at Nell’s door as she listens to her music box. He brought chicken noodle soup, ginger ale and her coat. She apologizes for leaving so abruptly. She says she had been dealing with a guest that was sick, then she felt sick, and she didn’t want to get him sick. He says she doesn’t feel warm, and she says she took something. He says if they’re ever out and she feels awkward or bored, to tell him the truth.

Sonny tells Jason that he’s not having an affair. Morgan died and he made a mistake; that’s not going to happen again. He asks if Jason is going to play God and tell her. Carly comes in. She says she brought a Christmas tree, and Jason can help unload it. She says they have kids and it’s important that they have a good Christmas. She asks what she walked in on.

Elizabeth wants to come in, but Franco says no; she’d see her present. He’s working on something that he feels strongly about, and Elizabeth thinks he’s making her something. He says nothing in the store would adequately express what she means to him. He came up with the perfect idea, but it’s only in the beginning stages.

Tracy says she’ll look after Hayden. She tells Finn, physician heal thyself, and while he’s at it, heal Hayden. Finn tells Hayden he has to go away for a bit. She asks him not to leave her alone, but he says there’s work to be done. She tells him she has someone else now, and calls him daddy. She says he’s never thought anyone was good enough, but she’s the one not good enough. She starts to describe Finn and says he’d like him. Finn plays along. She says when she’s being difficult, he gives it back to her, and they’re good for each other. She says Finn means end in French, and he’s her end. She doesn’t need to waste time looking for anyone else. She loves him.

Finn says he’s right there, and Hayden asks what happened. He says he has her stabilized and she says she’s never getting better just worse. Tracy suggests she’ll get better if Finn gets to work. Hayden tells him when he finds it to come back, and he says he’ll be bringing skates.

Sonny tells Carly that he and Jason were talking about Morgan. She asks Jason if he knows who did it, and Jason says not yet, but he’s making progress. He says he knows the holidays will be tough, the first Christmas without Morgan, and wants her to know he’s on it. He says he cares very much about all of them and wants them to be okay. Carly says no promises, but they’re working on it.

Nell apologizes to Michael, and says she should have just told him the truth. Michael says it’s on him. She made it clear she wanted to keep things professional, and he twisted her arm to come. She says it’s not like she left because she was having a bad time; she was having a great time. She’s the one who should have held back to not blur the lines He says he needed a friend, and thought she needed one too.

Franco tells Elizabeth that it’s not like anything he’s ever done before, but if it doesn’t work out, he’ll get her a slinket, a blanket with sleeves. She says she’d rather have what he’s making, but she wanted to talk about Tom. She says she doesn’t want him making it worse when things are good right now. She says she doesn’t need him to vanquish Tom. He asks what that means, and she tells him that she doesn’t need him to be a hero; he already is to her.

Nell tells Michael she could use a friend. When Carly offered her the job, she thought it was exciting to start over, but didn’t realize how lonely it would be. Everything is unfamiliar and overwhelming.She wonders if she made the right decision, and thinks maybe her life in Atlanta meant more to her than she thought. He asks why she ran, and she says his mom is her boss and the job is the only thing she has. Michael says he’ll leave her alone. She says the truth is, she’d hate it if he never bothered her again. They both need a friend, and if things get complicated, so what? Life is full of complications.

The tree is set up. Sonny says no matter how many people are in the house… Someone will be missing, Carly finishes. She says they should all be together and miss him here. She says it’s supposed to be about joy, but if they’re together they can be sad together as Morgan’s family. She tells Jason he’s included too, and he thanks her. She asks him what’s on his mind.

Elizabeth tells Franco that maybe he’s not a traditional hero, but to her he is one. He says maybe they read different comic books, and that heros should do everything they can to keep everyone safe. She says Tom hasn’t done anything. Fracno adds, yet. She says if she could wave a magic wand and never see him again, she would, but neither one of them have that power. They can only move forward together. He says he wants that, and she’s like, just do it.

Hayden thinks Tracy is her mother. Tracy says she isn’t, and Hayden says that her father wasn’t her father, and now she doesn’t want to be her mother. She asks if she reminds her of the affair, a reminder of her life’s greatest failure. Tracy says that’s not true. She’s not her biggest failure, the only failure is her. She failed her daughter.

Finn yells at his notes, asking them why they keep failing (word of the day). He apologizes to Roxie for scaring her. He says if it doesn’t happen soon, Hayden will die. He’s thisclose and wonders what he’s missing. He gives Roxie some treats. He talks about her losing scales to make way for shiny new ones and has an epiphany. He talks about getting rid of what’s unusable to make way for what is.

Tracy tells Hayden that she wasn’t a good mother; she was harsh and judgmental and cold, but not because she didn’t care – she was inept. Even though she was raised by the sweetest woman, she put business and profit first. We realize she’s talking about herself now. Hayden says things can always change. Tracy says she doesn’t have to live the way she did yesterday, and she loves Hayden. Hayden says she loves her too. She says she found someone to love, but it’s too late to do anything about it.

Finn picks up Roxie and a syringe, and says maybe she’ll be saving Hayden’s life.

Elizabeth asks Franco to spend the holiday with her and the boys. He says he’d do anything for her. She tells him not to overboard with the kids. She has to get back to work, and asks him to meet her for coffee later. He says his project is at a critical phase, and he wants to keep going. They say good-by.

Tom fiddles with the lock on the crate, but stops when Franco comes back in. Franco says he wants them to get along in their time together, and doesn’t want to use the shocker. Tom says he doesn’t want to die, but Franco says he’s not that guy. Elizabeth has changed him. He’s not going to kill Tom, just end his life as he knows it.

Jason says it’s great to see two of his best friends getting along, and hopes it’s a sign of things to come. Carly does too. She says she’ll be in touch about Christmas, and leaves. Sonny asks Jason if he’s going to say anything.

Nell tells Michael that she really did have a good time. Michael says tell him if things get awkward, and she says she’ will. He leaves, and she goes back to her music box. She takes out a baby rattle.

Jason tells Sonny that it’s important that Carly heal, and she might not be able to if the truth comes out. But if she asks why he’s acting weird, he’ll make up a story. He asks that Sonny do right by his family, and Carly.

Tomorrow, Sam tells Maxie a secret, Ava wants to help Julian, and Alexis says she can’t do this.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I love how these girls always say some tragedy changed their outlook on everything, but it never happens. They’re still the same pot stirrers they were before.

Kyle picks up LisaR in her Lamborghini. Lisa says if her husband brought one home, she’d think aliens had taken over his body. Kyle talks about going to get burgers after Erika’s birthday party because they were starving. Lisa tells Kyle that her name got changed to Doritos on the phone when she tried to call. Then it changed to Cheerios. Autocorrect – always good for a laugh.

LisaV is doing some riding. In her interview, she says Ken bought her a horse when she was in her 20s and she’s loved them ever since. She talks about going to a show that’s like Cirque du Soliel for horses, and she’s getting one that’s retiring. She points out that his “winkie” is out, and tells him to put that back. No surprise, he’s beautiful. Lisa says she prefers animals to people and I’m down with that. She tells Ken about talking to LisaR at the party, and that Dorit has only seen one side of these girls.

LisaR tells Kyle how she’s come to believe you have to accept people for what they are. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV should either forgive both Eileen and LisaR or neither of them. I dunno. Doesn’t some of that depend on them?

LisaV tells Ken that Dorit seemed to enjoy herself at Erika’s party. She thinks that because she and Dorit have so many friends in common for so many years, she won’t be listening to the trash talk.

Dorit is getting ready for her own party. Her husband is putting it together all on his own. She says he’s not too good at detail though, so she consults with his party planner. She says she’s crazy until she knows everything is done. She thinks PK might be buying her a car for her birthday. She says if it’s Tiffany blue, she won’t be able to fake a smile, because that color should only be on a box with something pretty inside. I could argue that a Maserati is exactly that.

PK presents Dorit with a rose gold Bentley. She tells him he can count on her for a yes to anything for life. She goes for a test drive.

Kyle and LisaR go to the gym. Her daughter Alexia joins them. Kyle wants to spend time with her before she goes back to school in Boston. They do a rowing class.

Eileen gets hair and makeup done at the studio. The Young and the Restless is celebrating their 11,000th episode, and the cast is doing interviews about their favorite moments on the show. We flash back to Eileen’s first scene. She brings up the storyline when her character got an abortion. She says if she could do her own story arc, Ashley would be an Erika Jayne, slaying it in gay clubs. I think she has a girl crush on Erika.

Erika auditions backup dancers. Her 10th video is coming up. We see clips of her various videos, my favorite being How Many F**ks Do I Give? She’s looking for two things – can you nail the steps and are you sexy? She approaches things in an in-your-face way, and expects the same from her dancers. After some dancing, her assistant tells the dancers they can leave so the team can talk about them. They go through the resumes and photos. We see a picture of Erika when she was practically a toddler putting shows on at home. The dancers are chosen. Wardrobe is discussed. Erika is concerned about doing the splits in a bikini.

One of LisaR’s daughters is making zucchini pasta. She says she’d rather have regular pasta and I concur, although if someone else made it, I’d eat it. Lisa says her mother was not a great cook. She was big on casseroles, frozen dinners, and Jello. The girls say they think the only thing she’s ever made for them is macaroni and cheese. (Probably the Kraft kind.) Daughter Delilah has been going to casting calls in NYC. In her interview, and her sister is showing a little sibling jealousy.

Dorit’s party is being set up. I can assure you that means more than putting bowls of chips and dip out. Dorit is having an anxiety problem where her nose runs, and I’ve never heard of such a thing.

The guests begin to arrive, taken to the front door in golf carts. LisaV thinks it seems sedate, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. She talks to some soccer player who I have no clue about. Dorit makes her entrance, and is also hoping there’s more to the party than just having drinks in the living room. Lisa compliments her on losing the baby weight. She talks to Dorit about Erika’s party. Dorit thinks all the women were cool, but in her interview, Lisa says she thought Eileen was pretty cold to her and I agree.

Kyle and Mauricio arrive. Everyone compliments each other on how good they look. LisaR tells Dorit they’re practically neighbors. LisaV keeps throwing shade at LisaR, but LisaR thinks it’s progress. At least they’re communicating. In her interview, LisaV says she likes it when LisaR isn’t calling her a manipulative bitch. She tells Kyle she gave them the power to cause her pain, but now she’s taking it back. In her interview, Kyle says she doesn’t think Lisa ever gave anything away she didn’t want to.

Eileen thinks it seems strange for what happened between her and LisaV to just disappear. She says she’s trying to figure out how to be okay. She’s sure LisaR is too, but their approaches are different. She and LisaV make small talk, and it’s extremely awkward. Lisa says she sorry about Eileen’s father passing away, and Eileen starts laughing because she though Lisa was going to apologize for causing her angst last season. Please. Let it go already. How many sorrys does she want?

Kyle asks if Boy George is coming by, but Dorit says he’s on tour. Kyle is disappointed since she wanted to borrow some eyeliner. Erika shows up in a T-shirt, and in her interview, Dorit says the invite said “stunning.” In her interview, Erika points out that her T-shirt dress came straight off the runway. Well, it might have, but it did look dowdy next to the gowns. She looked like she was going to a totally different party. She gives Dorit a Chanel cosmetic bag that she wanted for herself, but they only had one. Everybody mingles.

Eileen tells LisaV when she offered condolences, she thought she was apologizing again. Lisa asks if she’s mad, meaning out of her mind. In her interview, Eileen says she doesn’t want any misunderstandings. In her interview, Lisa says hell would freeze over before she apologized again. Kyle thinks Lisa can be a little rude.

Dorit’s parents introduce themselves around. PK makes an announcement. He says anyone who knows them, knows they don’t do low key or boring. He welcomes them to Dorit’s Buddha Lamp.

He opens the door to a sort of disco. It has a sushi bar and all kinds of lighting effects. Dorit wonders how on earth PK was able to create this in their backyard. Erika says he did well – smoke, lights, ice sculptures, she’s down. There’s a wall of red roses that says happy birthday. LisaV says she knew something big was going on. Dorit is thrilled and says she couldn’t have done it better. The two Lisas dance with Kyle. In her interview, LisaR says she’s never going to get an apology, so she’s done the forgiving and she can move on. She apologizes to LisaV for being hard her, and LisaV is pretty shocked. She says it gives her hope for the future.

Erika is having water because she has a stomach bug. Great. Thanks for telling us after we’ve kissed you, hugged you, and shook your hand. She’s like that person who says they’re sick just as the elevator door closes. Everyone mingles, eats, drinks, dances and has a wonderful time. PK talks about his wasted youth. In her interview, LisaV talks about being glad they have mutual friends there, because sometimes her British humor gets her in trouble.

Eileen is talking with Dorit, and LisaV joins them. Eileen suddenly wonders where her husband is, and Lisa jokes that he’s in the corner with a woman, which doesn’t exactly endear her to Eileen. PK asks everyone to come out to the dance floor. He brings over a throne and has Dorit sit in it. He tells everyone that she’s the reason for his strength. He gets all teary and praises her, and everyone laps it up. She runs up on stage and hugs him. In her interview she says he outdid himself and has a beautiful way of showing his love to her. I’m definitely impressed.

LisaR thinks this is as good as it’s going to get with LisaV, and hopes that it’s closure and they move on. Eileen tells them about LisaV’s joke. In her interview, Eileen says she can take a joke, but also has an idea of who Lisa is, and thinks her British humor is a little loaded. Dorit jokes that she guesses that she’s not having a cake this year. Although there’s probably a two-story, gold-leafed cake hiding behind the neighbor’s house.

Next time, Harrison goes jewelry shopping, LisaR’s daughters teach her about dating apps, and Eileen says good-by to the family home.

A note on Ladies of London. Marissa’s baby is back in the hospital, so she missed the field trip to Mapperton. This means she also missed Julie telling us all about how the sandwich came to be named, and also that the Sandwich Islands in Hawaii are a tribute to the Earl of sandwich. Caroline #1 continues to be a rude, self-absorbed a-hole, or as Juliet put it, she’s turned into Madonna. She acts like a five-year-old during their time at the estate, not only arriving there three hours late, but being over an hour late to dinner. Unfortunately, Caroline #2 is feeling the repercussions of what she let slip to the press about her father’s illness, and his wife (of which there have been many) is being really nasty to her. This is a shame, since she seems like a sensitive human being. Next time, Caroline #1 continues to spread her lack of good cheer. Hopefully, three ghosts will visit her on Christmas Eve. 🎄

December 6, 2016 – Secrets Abound on GH, Below Deck Ends, Beverly Hills Begins & Ladies of London Gets an Honorable Mention


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Carly he couldn’t find the gifts. She tells him he was looking on the wrong side of the bed.

Michael asks Nell if they’re still on for the gala, which he just asked her to five minutes ago. Kiki walks into the office.

In the parking garage, Jason peels the name off the side of the van. Underneath, it says Derek Wells Media, which is Julian’s company. The light bulb comes on over Jason’s head.

Alexis tells Julian that he’s blackmailing her, but he calls it tough love. She sarcastically tells him his concern for the greater good is one of his finest qualities. He tells her that the ethics committee is the least of her concerns. Jordan has been nosing around about the hit and run. Alexis finds it ironic that he’s threatening to involve police. Sam sees Alexis in Julian’s room and asks her what she’s doing there.

Charlotte tells Santa that she wants her mommy for Christmas. She and Lulu lock eyes. Laura asks if Lulu found Rocco’s Christmas list. She asks who the little girl is, and Dante tells her. He asks if Lulu has met her. She says no, she hasn’t.

Carly digs the gifts out from under the bed and goes back downstairs. Sonny looks at the photo of them together and then at the necklace.

Michael tells Kiki that Nell agreed to come to the Toys for Tots benefit with him. Kiki says she’s there to pick up her final paycheck. Michael wonders what happened, and Kiki tells him that she and Carly came to an understanding. Michael tells her good luck with whatever’s next, and tells Nell he’ll text her with the details. When he leaves, Kiki is like, you and Michael?

Carly is on her phone, and tells Sonny that for a season of love and good cheer, people can be very demanding. This is a surprise? Sonny suggests Olivia take some of the load. Carly says she’ll be sure to tell Olivia that it was his idea.

Curtis tells Jason that this could mean a few things, and they kick around a few scenarios. They decide to damage the van and then pretend to be concerned, responsible citizens who want to pay for the damage. Jason bashes the van with a crowbar.

Julian tells Sam that he asked Alexis to come. Sam asks what reason Alexis could have for seeing the man who tried to kill her.

Valentin introduces Charlotte to Rocco and they go off for cookies. He tells Dante and Lulu that their children have taken a shine to each other. Lulu doesn’t look pleased.

Michael stops by Sonny’s and they talk about celebrating Christmas early with Josslyn. Carly thanks Sonny for helping her, and he thanks her for coming by. Michael asks Carly if she can spare Nell on the 12th.

Nell tells Kiki that there’s nothing going on between her and Michael. She thinks he just took pity on her and wanted her to have a night out. Kiki says he’s thoughtful and starts to say something else, but stops. She tells Nell that they had a brief relationship, but they broke up because she hurt him and she went back to Morgan. She says she was keeping a huge secret from him.

Dante tells Valentin to back off, but Nina says this is for the kids. Laura thinks that Nina should ask Valentin to leave, but Doc suggests radical acceptance. He says that you can’t control the situation, but you can control your attitude and where you put your focus. Lulu talks to Charlotte. She starts asking Charlotte questions, but Nina says the only question Charlotte should be answering is what she wants for Christmas.

Alexis tells Sam that she thought it might be her last chance to tell Julian to go to hell. Sam says now that she knows Julian is going to live, can they go? Alexis says they’re done, and she and Sam leave. In the hallway, Sam asks Alexis if she’s all right. Alexis says she’s somewhere between yay he’s out of her life, and at least he didn’t hold a knife to her throat. Sam says she has the feeling there’s something else. Alexis says she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she’s done with Julian. Sam goes down in the elevator.

Laura steers Santa to the kids. Nina says if Lulu and Dante have a problem with Valentin, fine, but it doesn’t give them the right to interrogate his daughter. Valentin says he loves Charlotte the same way they love their children. He suggests a playdate and Dante is like, no. Nina wants to get Valentin and Charlotte some hot chocolate, and they leave together. Dante asks Lulu what’s up with that?

The driver shows up and asks Jason and Curtis if they’re the idiots who messed up the van. They claim they were arguing over a Bill’s game and it got out of control. The driver says his boss is going to be mad, and they’re going to have to pay for it. Curtis says they want to talk to him about his boss, and asks if it’s Julian.

Michael explains about taking Nell to the gala, and Carly thinks it’s a fine idea. She leaves, and Michael asks Sonny about her visit. Sonny says he doesn’t know what she’s feeling, and Michael says it looks like a start of the thaw. Sonny asks if Michael is interested in Nell.

Nell asks what secret Kiki kept from Michael. Kiki says it had to do with their parents, but Michael deserves someone who treats him better than she did. Nell gives her the check, and says that Kiki is taking it well. Kiki says it was time to leave. Nell says it would be understandable if there were hard feelings.

Kiki says she has no hard feelings. She asks Nell if she told Carly about their conversation regarding her breaking up with Morgan. Nell says she didn’t say anything, and Kiki tells her that both Carly and Michael knew about her plans and were furious at first, but now they’re being kind. They’ll never forget though, and she doesn’t blame them. She says the loss and hurt stay with you. Nell agrees.

Michael tells Sonny that he and Nell are just friends. He says he’s sorry that he didn’t take better care of Sonny, but Nell pinch-hit and he wants to return the favor.

The driver thinks Curtis and Jason are cops because they’re asking about Julian. Curtis says his partner is crazy and took his anger out on the van with a tire iron. Jason says he used to do what he was told. but one morning woke up with a chip in his brain, and now gets urges to hit something or someone until the voices go away. He suggests the driver tell them what he knows about Julian.

Julian says, back so soon? to Alexis and she tells him drop dead. He says had she hit someone else, they might not be so understanding. He says he’s not trying to extort anything from her (no, just her time and emotion) or have her do criminal acts; he just wants her to help him.

Laura tells Santa he has a five-minute break and closes the door. He asks what she’d like for Christmas. She wonders if it’s cliche to say world peace. He says that’s out of his league. She says peace of mind then, and he says he can work with that. She asks what’s going on with Charlotte. He tells Laura that she’s well-adjusted considering the upheaval. Laura says she also adores her father, and has no idea what Valentin is capable of.

Valentin and Nina have taken Charlotte to Kelly’s. Nina has Charlotte go to pick out a cookie, and Valentin thanks Nina for her interception. She says he could have held his own with Lulu. He says when someone puts that much energy into not liking you, you have to walk on egg shells. Nina wonders why Lulu wants to get so involved, and says they have to protect Charlotte.

Sam and Molly enter Kelly’s. Sam sees Valentin and stops short. She tells Molly who Valentin is.

Lulu tells Dante that when she saw Charlotte, something came over her. She was immediately drawn to her and can’t explain it. Dante says he thinks he can.

Carly tells Nell sorry she’s late and that it’s been a stressful day. She says she went to see Sonny. Nell asks how he seemed, and Carly says distracted. She tells Nell that she gave her the night off for the gala, and she’s glad Michael has a friend like her.

Michael thinks Sonny and Carly’s relationship is getting better, and that Carly came there to see him, no matter what excuse she gave. He says it’s only a matter of time before they’re back together, and she doesn’t want to punish him for something he didn’t do.

Dante tells Lulu that Charlotte has been bounced around like a pinball. Lulu says that she also recently found out they lost their chance to have another child. Dante tells her that she’s a caring person and Charlotte has been through a lot, so her instincts kicked in; she wants to protect Charlotte. Lulu says she’s sure he must be right, but I’m not buying that she believes it.

Valentin tells Nina how lovely she looks. He mentions that she said “we” need to take care of Charlotte. She apologizes for the presumption, but he says it means the world to him. Nina tells him that she’s completely taken with Charlotte and her adorableness. She says it’s no secret that she wants a child, but this has nothing to do with that; she wants what’s best for her. Valentin says he’s thanking his lucky stars. He could have easily walked past Nina the night they met in the hotel. There was something about her though. She’s charming and beautiful, but it’s more than that. Most people have an agenda, but she’s honest about who she is and what she wants, and he likes her.

Outside Kelly’s, Molly tells Sam that she wants to give Valentin a piece of her mind. Sam says he’ll just say it’s a misunderstanding and besides, they have their own family issues to deal with. She tells Molly that Alexis was visiting Julian, and she’s not believing the reason. She thinks Alexis still has a soft spot for him.

Alexis asks Julian what he wants help with. He says he’ll need it when he gets home from the hospital, and she says they have nurses for that. He says he’ll need help with things like shaving, brushing his teeth, and showering. Um…I think they do that too. Alexis asks if this is his ultimate form of punishment, for her to spend every waking hour with him. He says she didn’t used to feel like that, and she says holding a knife to someone’s throat ruins a relationship. He tells her that if anyone finds out she’s the one who hit him, she won’t only lose her license, she’ll lose her freedom.

Jason wants to know what happened the night of the bomb. The driver says it was his assignment to park there. His boss Julian told him to do it.

Nell asks if Carly is worried about Sonny. Carly says there’s something on his mind, and now that she knows he’s not responsible for Morgan’s death… Nell says she thinks they belong together. Nell’s phone rings. It’s Sonny. He tells Nell they need to talk.

Doc tells Laura that Valentin might have been right in saying they’ll always be connected. He says Charlotte is Nicholas’s cousin. Laura says Nicholas is gone, and there’s no more connection. She adds that as much as she hates being involved with Valentin, part of her feels compelled to look out for Charlotte because she is Nicholas’s family, making her part of Laura’s family as well. Doc says she has amazing generosity of spirit and it’s one of the reasons he loves her. A kid bangs on the door saying Santa’s break is over.

Dante asks if Lulu is okay. She says it’s something about Charlotte, and then says never mind.

Nina tells Valentin that she was thinking about Charlotte’s Christmas wish. She says not even a purple unicorn can make up for missing your mother. He says between them, they can make a fine Christmas for her. I’d love to see some kind of A Christmas Carol story with this bunch.

Molly thinks maybe Alexis can get some closure in seeing Julian. Sam says Julian is a narcissist who is encouraged by any attention. Molly says it’s better than Alexis starting to thaw (theme for today). Sam hopes that Alexis knows what she’s doing.

Julian asks Alexis if they have a deal. Alexis says fine. She says no one will believe it though, since everyone knows how much she hates his guts, but he says she can make something up. She says she’s figured it out and they have a deal. That was fast.

Curtis tells Jason that the psycho act was great. The driver is most likely in Canada by now. Jason says he’s probably more worried about Julian than him. Jason says it won’t take long for Julian to figure things out, and Curtis says Julian planted the bomb in his own car. Just in case we haven’t been paying attention.

Tomorrow, Anna asks Andre for help, Lulu wants to know why she feels so strongly about Charlotte, and a gathering happens on Spoon Island.

Below Deck

I’ve decided Ben is kind of an a-hole, which is too bad because I liked him up until now. Anyone who blames someone else for how they act is just, no.

Kate complains to Ben about the stews taking breaks before their work is done. Sierra gets offended because anyone born after 1985 gets offended by just about anything. Kate says it isn’t that they don’t have an amazing team, she just wants them to hit it out of the park for the last charter. When the guests leave, the boat has to look perfect. Ben thinks Kate should be more respectful of people’s breaks. By that I assume he means Emily’s breaks.

Dawn and her guests are doing the snorkeling thing. Nico and Kyle just want to get finished. Kyle says Sierra is an idiot, and Nico points out that he thought she was cool before he found out that she wasn’t into him. Lauren and Kyle talk about hating the job until it’s over; then they love it. In her interview, Lauren says no matter how much they bicker, the crew really loves each other. Um…I dunno about that. Nico says Sierra and Kyle’s fight has nothing to do with him, the same way his altercations with Kate have nothing to do with Kyle, who thinks Kate is awesome.

Sierra has to get a hug from Emily because, see above. She thinks Kate is just looking for things to criticize them about. Emily and Ben chat about finally getting sprung. In her interview, Emily says they’ll see how it goes, as far as having a relationship on the outside. Ha-ha! I’m making it sound like they’re in jail.

Kate encourages Ben to have the food ready when the guests get back. He disagrees, saying they usually want to have a shower and cocktail first. He asks Emily what she thinks because she has so much experience. Emily doesn’t really want to get involved. Ben tells Kate that he’s the chef and calling the shots. He claims he has a valid reason. Kate tries to talk, but he says he’s going to do what he wants anyway. See what I mean?

The guests get back. They’re hungry. Kate tells Ben they’re starving. Captain Lee announces only 16 more hours left. Kate brings out the food and Dawn asks if the captain would like to join them for dinner. Kate tells Ben to keep the food coming. In his interview, Ben says Kate used to be a pleasure to work with. Kate tells the captain about the guests requesting his presence.

Kelley says they’ve grown as a team and now it’s over. He says they’re a highly dysfunctional family, but they’re a family. They promise to all keep in touch. Yeah, we all know how that goes.

Sierra asks Kate if she thinks they’re not working hard enough. Kate tells her about the lack of toilet paper in the guest bathrooms, which I agree is a huge no-no. She says she’s always given them compliments and doesn’t want to finish on a negative note. She mentions that she isn’t taking a break either. She thinks maybe Sierra needs to talk about something, but Sierra says no. Had your chance.

OMG – dinner! Clams or something. It looks amazing. And shrimp! The captain joins the guests. The guests fire questions at him. I find out that he has five children and is from Michigan. Kate compliments Ben on the calamari. She says she never knows which Ben she’s going to get and he says he’s 50 shades of Ben. Ha-ha! Everyone is happy for the moment. Dessert! Kyle says Ben and Kate either hate or love each other and it’s confusing. Kate tells Ben the worst day with him is better than the best day with some of the other chefs.

Kyle asks if Sierra had a mental breakdown. Kate says she tried to be nice, but felt disrespected. Kyle says he prefers to talk face to face, and doesn’t understand why the stews are so defensive with her. In his interview, Kyle says Kate had his back from day one. Kate says she’s done nothing to Nico and Lauren to warrant them talking behind her back, and they have no business questioning her decisions. She tells Kyle she doesn’t need to hear what the one stripe people think. Oh, snap.

Two hours and twenty-six minutes. Ben says he’s mentally moved on and is already in his apartment. The guests are the only ones who don’t want to leave. The captain thinks the Kelley/Nico team has done well.

The final meal! The blue water! The Jacuzzi! Sierra and Lauren gossip about Kate. Zzzzz….

Anchor is dropped and the ship docks. The guests are ready to go. Good-bys are said. Dawn gets emo with the captain who just wants it to be over. He tells everyone to head for the crew mess. This charter’s tip is 16K. The crew has made a total of $13,500 in tips all season. Captain Lee tells the crew to get the boat in better shape than when they got it.

Kate talks to Lauren and Nico. She says she’s heard what they said about how she’d tattled on them to the captain, but the captain found their mess all on his own. She says she had their back and doesn’t rat out the crew. However, she doesn’t appreciate giving them permission to use the boat and them turning the tables. Nico gets pissed and leaves. Lauren apologizes. In her interview, Kate says she’s disappointed. She says at least talk to her face. Nico complains to Kelley who’s staying out of it.

Ashley shows up, and everyone gets ready to go out. The girls all look super cute. Ben wants to make amends with Kate, since she’s a great friend of his and they’re not working together anymore.

The crew goes to a restaurant and begins to drink. The food looks excellent, and I eat vicariously. Ben and Kate step aside to talk. Emily wonders wtf? She tells Sierra it’s confusing. She doesn’t know where they stand or where she stands with Ben. Sierra suggests she give him a chance and get to know him. She also thinks that Emily should say something.

Sierra asks Ben about his relationship with Kate. He says there’s no need to diagnose it. In his interview, he says now Emily is in the middle of all the emotion, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He asks Emily if she wants him to hate Kate forever, and says he’ll be mean to Kate just for her. He says that he and Kate are better off as friends than colleagues, and she brings out a person he doesn’t want to be. He was hoping that Emily had a better grasp of the situation. What I think is that Ben is in love with Kate, and his attraction to Emily has become a problem. Not to mention, Kate is in a relationship.

Kyle comes thisclose to telling Ashley that she completes him. He wants to take things up a notch. He asks Kate for a ring. She’s wearing one that she says is worth two thousand bucks and he says he’ll give her a thousand. Deal. He says he’s proposed once before, but she threw the ring at him the same night. He takes Ashley aside and gets down on one knee. She says yes. Everyone cheers.

Ben acts rude to Kate. She asks if he’s okay. He’s obviously angry. She gives him a drink and he guzzles it. He tells her he doesn’t like working with her anymore. What a jerk he’s become. I hope Emily dumps him, but she’s kind of stupid, so maybe he deserves her. He tells Kate that they’re better off as friends. She says she doesn’t like working with him that much either. She thinks the booze is talking, and she’s tired of hearing it. He says Emily just grilled him about their relationship. Kate tells him that he’s rude, and in her interview, she says that he’s so self-destructive, it’s embarrassing.

Back at the boat, Ashley and Kyle get the guest cabin. Ben gossips with Nico and Lauren. Idiots.

In the morning Ben approaches Kate and apologizes. He says he’s sorry if he ruined her evening. She says it’s typical. He tells her that they’ve come a long way together and he values their friendship. He says he loves her and he’ll always have her back. He asks for a hug, but in her interview, she says the friendship isn’t salvageable.

Lauren tells Nico what great friends they are. Hugs. I think she thinks they’ll still get together one day. Kate says you need a thick skin to work on a boat, and she doesn’t think Sierra has it. Sierra is proud of herself, but thinks she does need to toughen up. Nico and Kelley do the bro thing. Kyle pays Kate for the ring. She expects an invite to the wedding. Kyle can’t wait to have a proper bacon sandwich with HP sauce, which is a brown sauce kind of like Worcestershire.

Kelley tells Kate that he tried to emulate her. In her interview, she thinks he did an amazing job. Kelley talks to the captain, saying he tried to redeem himself, and thinks he did better. I’m not sure by Captain Lee’s face if he’s in agreement, but he says Kelley has progressed incredibly. Kelley is shocked and so am I, and he thanks the captain for his help. Captain Lee says he’d love to work with him again, and Kelley thanks him for the second chance.

Ben apologizes to Emily. He says he felt like a bit of a d*ck. That’s because he was, and more than a bit of. He says she’s the last person he’d want to insult, and he thinks she’s special. In her interview, she says that she’ll give him another chance, but be wary. They kiss. Ben leaves with the flowers and leaves them on the deck so that everyone can trip over them.

In his interview, Ben says that Emily probably hates him, but he’s going to try to make a go of it. She takes a rose out of the flowers. Ben says being in a relationship and doing his job was probably more than he could chew, but he did it, and was a solid seven. By my estimation, he was more like a shaky three.

Kate says good by to the captain. As she leaves, he tells her that she still looks like a guest more than the chief stew.

Captain Lee says this season was tough. We flash back to some of the highlights. He says the bottom line is that the guests left happy and they made a ton of money. Without a doubt, he has the best damn job in the world.

This was the finale. They usually have a reunion, but as of the last one, hadn’t been elevated out of the clubhouse yet.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle’s closet is everything. LisaV calls. They’re planning on meeting at PUMP, and Kyle jokes as to whether they allow the wearing of Birkenstocks (at least I think she’s joking), and asks who’s going to be there. She doesn’t know the couple, but says Boy George loves them. Kyle is friendly with him and says everybody knows everybody in Beverly Hills.

Erika discusses her new song with husband Tom. It’s at number eight, and she says her career is growing. He says he wants to give her a birthday present early. She’s have a big blowout for her 45th. In her interview, she jokes (again, I’m not positive) that it’s all downhill from here. I have news for her. That’s 55 when the slide starts. Tom says she has things for her fingers and ears, but he’s giving her something for her eyes. A Chagall. Eh. It’s okay. She asks if it’s hers or theirs since Chagall is one of his favorites. To be on the safe side, he gives her something else. He gives her an envelope. She asks if it’s a legal doc, but inside there’s a picture of a Cartier panther ring that he has on order.

Harrison! With LisaV, but where’s my Giggy? Giggy! Ken has him. Harrison is a rescue that Lisa is having a passionate affair with. New Housewife Dorit and her husband PK join them at PUMP, along with Kyle and Mauricio. Dorit’s husband is a talent manager who manages Boy George. Dorit says he’s been living with them for a while and is like her gay husband. She tells the group about how she met her husband.

Kyle brings up Erika’s birthday party. Lisa talks about how she and Dorit first met. They talk about Dubai. Ken says he felt like he was there from all the weepy phone calls he got from Lisa. In her interview, Lisa talks about how miserable she was during the trip, being grilled by LisaR. She says that LisaR was unusually aggressive, and Eileen backed her up. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV hangs on to things a long time, but doesn’t think she’s losing any sleep over it.

Harry brings LisaR a new car. It has one of those bows on it. She says this year is about having a good time. Last year was kind of negative. Her father passed away recently and it changed her outlook on everything. She says that she doesn’t have time to worry about old stuff and wants to concentrate on raising her daughters. She doesn’t have time for bullsh*t anymore. I’ll bet she lasts a whole five minutes.

Eileen meets Erika at a bar. Eileen says that Erika might have a flashy persona, but she’s a girl’s girl. Eileen lost her mother just prior to the reunion, but hasn’t really said anything about it. She tells Erika that it’s affected everything that happened last season, making it trivial. Kyle joins them. They discuss Yolanda, who says that she’s 75% better, but taking time to rest, recover, and look after herself. Kyle is working on her new TV show, and they’re deep into casting right now.

Kyle wonders if the two Lisas are going to be okay eventually. Erika says everything can be worked out if everybody wants to work it out. I guess that’s pretty much true for any conflict. Kyle says she never wants to hear bi-polar, manipulative, Munchhausen, own it, or sniper again. I agree, especially Munchhausen.

Dorit is getting her makeup done, while PK’s assistant discusses their schedule. Dorit wants to make sure there’s time for the kids. Boy George comes in. She says in their house he’s more like Uncle George, but diva does come out occasionally. They’re getting ready to do Jimmy Kimmel‘s show.

Erika is having a Studio 54 party for her birthday. Disco balls are everywhere, and there’s going to be a velvet rope with Pussy Control manning the door. We flash back to LisaV’s Poison Arrow video. Lisa says the end of the 80’s marked the end of her single life. In her interview, LisaR talks about Iman being at Studio 54, and everyone goes down 80’s Memory Lane.

LisaV and Kyle meet for a kiki at Dorit’s house. Giggy! Kyle talks about hanging out with Andy Warhol and Rick James as a kid, because her mother didn’t follow the rules.

I want to have a fabulous 80’s party just like this one, but I don’t think Tom will fund the bill for me. Erika gets crazy over everyone’s outfits. She opens her gift from Eileen. It’s a part on Eileen’s show, The Young and the Restless. Coolest. Present. Ever. Erika is worried that they’ll fire Eileen if she sucks. They talk about the soaps.

LisaV introduces Dorit. Lisa asks Tom if he’s wearing something Studio 54 under his suit. I gotta say, Tom seems like a really nice guy, and he and Erika are obviously in love. Eileen and LisaR discuss LisaV. LisaR says she’d rather be better than bitter. Yeah, we’ll see. Dorit says she considers herself a New Yorker, but she’s lived all over the place. In her interview, she says Beverly Hills is a little too much carrot juice and Botox. Agreed. She invites Erika to her upcoming birthday party.

The two Lisas meet, and the conversation is stilted. In her interview, LisaV says that LisaR changed the dynamic of their relationship, and they’d have to do a lot of work to get it back to where it was. Eileen says anything is possible. Look what happened after the Viet Nam war, everyone goes there for vacation now.

The guests mingle and dance. Mauricio talks to Tom about the plane he just bought. Tom brings out another present for Erika – her mother. Erika introduces her mom around. In her interview, Erika talks about her mother having her at 18, and her father leaving before she was one-year-old.

Eileen thinks LisaV is giving her the cold shoulder. Dorit invites Eileen and her husband to her party. Dorit is trying to figure out how Eileen is the same woman that Lisa has talked about. Everyone is starving and glad to see the cake come out. It’s cute, layered stars. LisaV says she thinks she saw a deviled egg and should have grabbed it. Erika is thrilled with the evening.

The girls dance. LisaV says that Eileen and LisaR would be happier if she wasn’t in their friend circle, but she’s coming back, stronger than ever.

Next time, Erika hires dancers, LisaV gets a horse, and Dorit’s birthday party happens.

Ladies of London honorable mention. Marissa had the smallest baby ever, but all is well. Caroline #1 seems to be at odds with everyone. I think she has too much time on her hands since Gift Library closed. She needs a job or something else to occupy her. Julie is overwhelmed with running the Mapperton estate. The place is like a small village, and I don’t envy her dealing with the gift shop employees who have worked there since the earth cooled, and are less than helpful. And Caroline #2’s father is very sick with cancer. Since she’s a huge celebrity in Denmark, the press is very interested in her, and while on a trip there with Juliet, she makes the mistake of telling them about his illness when the family is quite private. We also see her OCDness in regard to beds being made correctly.

May 3, 2016 — GH, Mediterranean Hello, Beverly Hills Good-By & Wrong Loving


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Replay of the scene in the park where Jason catches Franco spying on him and Sam.

Hayden goes back to Windemere with Nicholas. He asks her to explain about the diamonds. She says he planted them, if they’re even real. She says he thinks he can tie the diamonds to her father’s money, but he’s wrong. He says he can and he has.

Griff asks Anna if she’s okay. She says she’s been thinking about Duke. Griff says it must be gratifying that Carrrlos is behind bars on the anniversary of Duke’s death. She tells Griff about the eyewitness.

Replay of Alexis finding a dead Hale. She calls out for help. Nathan comes and tells her to call 911. Like you need to tell this to an adult (a lawyer no less) who has just found a dead body.

Julian says it’s done. Nina walks in and tells him this is nowhere near done.

Sam says Franco must have been watching them at the barn and Jason asks what he wants.

Nicholas says there are possessions of Hayden’s parents that are still unaccounted for. Hayden says she has no idea where any of it went. Nicholas says there’s an inventory online and the diamonds are part of a necklace listed there. She says if the diamonds are real, he’s gone to a lot of trouble. Nicholas says the stones are marked and can be traced back, and he’s had the stones examined. He says if she’s not convinced they should call the Feds. She asks him not to.

Sam asks why Franco is stalking them and he says they’re only moderately interesting at best. She tells him about the footprints at the barn. Franco makes up a child’s rhyme, ending with, “I did not stalk you on a lark; I did not stalk you in the park,” and I laugh. Jason asks why he was in the bushes then and tells him he’s not fit to work with kids. Franco pulls his sketch pad out and shows them sketches he’s done in the park and says that’s his hideaway to sketch wildlife. Jason says he’s not going to work with Jake anymore. Franco says sketching helps him work stuff out. Jason acts like a nut, grabs the pad and asks what else he’s got. He sees the picture of Nina.

Nina thinks Julian is talking about the issues with Crimson, but Julian has the feeling she isn’t really talking about the magazine. Nina says he’s right and that she and Franco hit a new low — it’s over. Julian says he’s sorry and if there’s anything he can do, to let him know. She wants to know who he was talking to when she walked in. Like that’s her business.

Anna says Jordan seems to think the witness is credible. She says Paul still has his agenda with Carrrlos and they could use some corroborating evidence.

Hale still has a pulse and Nathan tells Alexis to hurry up.

Anna tells Griff that Alexis is very skillful. She wonders who Alexis was talking to at the bar. Griff says the only person Anna should be concerning herself with is her. She says if she can get justice for Duke (which sounds like an online petition), she can take whatever happens to her. She promised herself that today she was going to celebrate his life and Griff says he’s in.

Sam says the picture is disturbing and Franco says it’s a picture, not Nina’s head in a box. Jason asks if he’s going to hurt Nina. Franco asks why would he would waste his time following them. Sam wants to know why he drew the picture and he says his drawings are his business. He says he would never hurt Nina, not the way they’re talking about anyway. Seriously, this picture isn’t all that radical and these two are way overreacting.

Ignoring her question, Julian says he owes Nina an apology for his last outburst and she says she was out of line a little. Julian says talking about Franco might help. She says it’s over, but she’s not writing him off as a monster. She says he’s misguided, but she loves him. She says they just wanted different things and maybe she never new the real Franco. She tells him he’s lucky that he an Alexis don’t have that problem. D’oh!

Hale gets taken to the hospital. Nathan tells them to let him know when Hale regains consciousness. Alexis says she assumes it was an OD, but Nathan says that’s to be determined. Nathan says he has to call the station, and tells Alexis to get some coffee and calm herself. She texts Julian to meet her at the ER.

Julian gets the text and tells Nina he has to go.

Nathan asks Alexis some questions. She says she met Hale once before and Nathan asks about the circumstances.

Hayden says maybe the diamonds are a problem, but where does that leave them? Nicholas says they’re at a detente. She suggests they call it a draw and go their separate ways. Nicholas says he needs her to sign a document surrendering the rights to the $5 million from the prenup.

Anna and Griff have tea. She tells Griff how she and Duke met and tells the story of their first dance before she even knew his name. She says they connected and always had up until he died. Griff asks if their first dance was the tango, but she says that came later. She says dancing with Duke was like floating on air. Griff says he should warn her that he has two left feet and asks if she would teach him to tango as an homage to Duke.

Franco starts to leave. Sam asks if he’s going to explain the sketch. He says no. Sam says a woman has the right to know if their boyfriend is making creepy sketches. Puh-leeze. He says they had a fight, he’s pissed and he drew a picture. He leaves and Jason makes more of it than anyone ever should. Jason says he doesn’t want Franco around Jake. Normally, I like these two, but they are really annoying me today.

Alexis tells Nathan that Hale is a potential witness in a case she’s working on and that she found him just like he was. Julian shows up at the hospital. She tells him she found the eyewitness with a needle in his arm. They hear Nathan asking if he can question Hale.

Hayden says Nicholas won’t even miss the five million, but he says he’s not going to give her five cents. She says she almost died when he had her shot and she deserves something. She refuses to sign and says go ahead and call the agent. If he does, she’s going to tell about the shooting and Spencer can grow up seeing him behind bars. She says it’s better Spencer knows now who his father really is, rather than grow up deluded and find out later. I’m guessing she’s also talking about her own father.

Anna tries to teach Griff to tango. For having two left feet, he does pretty well, since that’s not an easy dance. Afterwards, he says they should go out to dinner and they can schedule his next dance lesson. She says it will give him an in with the ladies and he almost chokes on his tea, spilling it on his shirt. They leave so he can change before they go out.

Franco shows up at Nina’s office. She says she doesn’t think they need to say anything else. He agrees, but tells her about Sam and Jason seeing the sketch. He says if they told her about it, they’d give her the wrong idea and he wants her to see it.

Hale is dead. Nathan asks if the body can be examined. Julian says clearly it’s an overdose (like he was there), but Nathan says they can’t be sure until they assess the body. He says when he gets back, he’ll have to know what case of Alexis’s Hale was involved with. Ha-ha! Julian must be nervous AF.

Alexis tells Julian that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos. Sam and Jason come in and Julian explains that Alexis found a junkie that had overdosed. Alexis adds that it wasn’t just any junkie.

Anna and Griff go to the hospital where Griff apparently keeps his clothing. While he changes, Anna calls Jordan and leaves a message asking her to meet tomorrow.

Nicholas suggests they table things for now. Hayden says they should both back off, at least until tomorrow. She says she guesses they’ll just stay married and he says for now. She says since she’s still his wife, she’s entitled to certain rights and privileges. He says, “As you wish, my princess,” and starts taking off his clothes.

Nina asks if it’s a threat and Franco tells her Sam and Jason thought the same thing. He says it’s not a threat, it’s just how he sees their relationship right now. She says she doesn’t see anything that horrible. Franco says he had high hopes and she says she did too. He says he thought it was forever and it’s over. When he had that realization, he drew what he was feeling. He says he sees them as broken and twisted and it can’t be fixed.

Nathan wants the car dusted for prints. He says he’ll be back to finish with Alexis’s statement. Jason asks who the guy was and Julian stalls. Alexis tells them that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos and Anna overhears.

Hayden tells Nicholas to stop and says she was talking about money. He says they each have control over their earnings, but oh that’s right, she doesn’t have any since the Quartermaines left her out in the cold. She asks if she’s a prisoner there. He says if she chooses to stay, he can give her an allowance, and that the days of his indulging her every need are over because he doesn’t love her anymore. He says the diamonds changed everything and her past is catching up to her. I’m confused. Where did he find these diamonds, since she wasn’t living there anymore?

He leaves and Hayden says, “No, my prince. It’s not over.” I love that prince/princess stuff.

Franco says he still wants what they had and that Nina is amazing. He says she’s an unforgettable woman and he wishes her every happiness. Nina says what about him and he says he doesn’t think happiness is in the cards for him, but it’s okay. He says he realizes he should just be him — the kind of guy who wold draw a picture like that. Seriously, the picture wasn’t all that bad.

Nathan walks in on Griff, who is looking at the scar on his body. Didn’t Maxie say it was a gunshot wound?

Anna says Alexis was badgering Hale earlier and now he’s dead. She asks why the both of them are there and Alexis says she found Hale. Anna says Alexis does everything to protect Julian and now she’s killed for him.

Tomorrow, Nathan says he knows how Griff got his scar (hmm…did Nathan shoot him? and does this have something to do with Claudette?), Alexis pleads innocence, and Jason tells Franco that he’s not getting inside Jake’s head.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

A bunch of new names to learn. Except for Chef Ben who was also on most of the Caribbean seasons.

Chef Ben is excited to be on the water in Greece, since it’s similar to where he trained in Italy. Hannah, the chief stew, says it’s unusual to be meeting an entirely new crew and taking on guests the same day. The boat itself, the Ionian Princess, is decorated very gaudily. Julia, stew #2, says she’s speechless. Me too. The fixtures are…well….

Captain Mark asks first mate Bryan to be his go-to guy, especially since there’s a bit of a language barrier. Tiffany is the 3rd stew and there are deckhands Bobby, Danny, Jen and Miko.

Ben thinks Captain Mark is odd, but says all captains are odd. Everyone is putting away supplies. They all seem down to help, and this looks like a hard-working bunch, which wasn’t always the case in the Caribbean.

The deckhands and stews have meetings where they talk about their yachting backgrounds and skills. Tiffany aspires to be a captain. Hannah doesn’t seem to understand why Tiffany would take a position she doesn’t want, which wasn’t exactly what she said, and I already see that Hannah is going to be a pita.

Jen and Julia talk relationships and Jen reveals she’s gay. She thinks Hannah is hot, but just wait. I’ll bet by the end of the season she won’t be able to stand the sight of her. Cleaning commences. Hannah says she’s a high school drop-out who was told she wouldn’t amount to anything, so I see now she’s an overachieving perfectionist who will want everyone else to be perfect too.

Christine is the primary guest, along with her husband, Bob. The captain goes through the preference sheets. Christine has a natural skincare line and Ben is supposed to incorporate the flavors of the ingredients into the food somewhere. Hannah thinks she has good chemistry with Ben and since they’re both from Australia, that’s probably part of it.

The crew changes into their formalwear to greet the guests. Ben says it’s insane to have done all this and have guests within 24-hours, but it’s okay because he’s insane. Ha-ha! I like Ben

The guests arrive. Christine has a high-pitched voice and is annoying me already. Hannah shows the guests around the yacht. Christine says she likes the marble in the master bath and I have to say it is beautiful and probably the only good thing about the decor in there. I can’t deal with the gold swan faucets.

Jen and Tiffany do laundry, longing to be outside, and the deckhands do deckhand stuff while they talk about women. One of them says he’s worked on some boats with heifers and it sucks. I cringe. BTW, he’s not all that. Ben talks to Christine about the food. He likes challenging the guests’ palates by trying new things and hopes this group is up for it.

They drop anchor somewhere in the Greek Islands. Christine shows off her fitness on deck, while some of the guys go swimming. It’s time for cocktails, which I think is really all the time on a yacht. The guests want to have a football game streamed in. Hannah is messing with the TV and says that guests don’t understand that they can’t exactly get cable in the middle of the Mediterranean.

When it doesn’t seem to be working well with the TV, Bob tells Hannah that it’s one of the non-negotiables. She knows that means if it doesn’t happen, their tip goes down. Ugh! Dude, you are out on the water in the middle of nowhere, not home on your couch. First idiocy of the first episode of the first season. Well, except for that heifer comment.

This place is just beautiful. Ben is going to make moussaka for dinner. The captain and several deckhands get in on the TV issue. Jen is the most experienced deckhand, but says she sees already that she’s not favored because she’s a female. No surprise, since Bryan has never worked with a woman before.

Dinner is served. Ben looks like he’s wearing pajamas, but I guess it’s a chef’s jacket. He has to flambe the cheese appetizer and timing is everything. It looks really tasty. Really tasty. The moussaka is next. Hannah doesn’t explain it very well to the guests though. Everyone complains that it’s too heavy. Ben says he likes to eat lean as well, but he wants moussaka in Greece. I’d like some right now. He seems to think part of the problem was Hannah’s description of the dish. Hannah thinks Ben has issues with being wrong.

Ben says you can always make amends and goes up to explain dessert. He’s incorporated the skincare flavors of green tea, coconut and something else I’ve already forgotten. Glad it’s not lanolin or microbeads.

Jen is late getting up and seems resentful that she has to be on deck early. I thought she said she was the most experienced and wanted to be noticed? Hannah says it doesn’t look like they can stream the game, so she’s going into town to see if they can make it happen there. Cranky Bob is starving and Ben makes frittatas for breakfast. They’re heavenly from the reaction of the guests. Julia thinks Hannah is getting stressed. She says doing acrobatics has taught her how to hide stress, but I fail to see the connection. I’d definitely be stressed doing acrobatics and would not be able to hide it.

Bryan asks Jen if she was up when she was supposed to be. She says just a few minutes after and Bryan tells her six means six and don’t let it happen again. Danny tells Jen he didn’t say anything, but Jen doesn’t believe him. (He didn’t.) She doesn’t know how he gets through life without lying. Remind me to never take her on as a friend.

Bob is bitching that he’s never missed a Steeler’s game. Well, if it was so important, why didn’t you plan your vacation around it? Hannah is going nuts trying to find a place where he can watch it, so her crew members aren’t penalized.

This season, Hula hooping, birthdays on the water, twerking, hair extensions, inappropriate romance, and someone gets sent home. Below Deck: The Original will also be back this fall.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — The Reunion, Part Three

Eileen was offended by Lisa’s blog where she spoke about an abusive relationship, when LVP didn’t want to be open with them on camera. Andy asks if LVP was hurt by the guy, and she says twice and she left. She starts crying and says she hasn’t cried about it since then and had only even mentioned it to Ken once. Andy says he’s surprised she never shared it. Yolanda says that’s what they want to see, those deep emotions. Eileen says that’s how people bond on a deeper level. Here’s a clue, maybe she doesn’t want to relive the moment and rehash it with her friends.

Kathryn says she has shared things like that with LVP, but that she comes off as detached when she’s around the group. LVP brings up the Yulan dogs. Eileen says she has more empathy for animals than she does for the group. So do I. LVP is like, thanks, that’s not the first time you’ve been nasty. Eileen covers by playing the honest card. LVP says she was hurt and Eileen doesn’t think it was nasty, but apologizes. Andy points out that Eileen apologized immediately, and asks LVP if she has a hard time with apologies. She says she must if everyone thinks so.

Eileen says she hated being a bitch this season and resents that she was turned into one because of this whole mess. They talk about Kathryn passing along what Erika said about LVP being manipulative. I don’t think Kathryn should have repeated it, but hey, how about not talking about people behind their back? Discussion of Erika using the c-word commences. Bleh. I don’t like it and I think it’s rude to use it in front of someone who finds it offensive, just like I would any other word. We go back to Kathryn repeating what Erika said. Erika says it wasn’t smack, it was her opinion. The word “opinion” is used the same way the word “honest” is used with these women, as an excuse to be nasty. Maybe her opinion is smack. Erika talks about when Kathryn acted stupid at her dinner party. Erika says Kathryn called LVP a “harmless old lady” when they spoke on the phone. Is this really necessary?

Kathryn says she never said that. Kathryn says Erika is desperate and Erika says, no, you. Kathryn says Erika gossiped about everyone except Yolanda every night in Dubai. LVP interjects that Kathryn only repeated a little of what Erika had said. Andy wants a show of hands as to who thinks Kathryn was wrong in what she did. Can we move on? Yolanda talks about that moron Brandi saying LVP is manipulative. Andy mentions Tom comparing LVP to an alligator and how LVP thought it was funny. She says it was the delivery and he was sparring with her.

Erika says LVP is tough and LVP says not as tough as people think. Kathryn says she’s never heard LVP say a bad word about anyone. Erika says although they got off to a bad start, she and Kathryn are cool now.

They show a video of Brandi who says it’s amazing to be a viewer, which is what you say when they fire you. She says a bunch of nasty stuff about LVP and Lisa wants to know why Brandi is being given a platform when she’s not on the show and they can’t reply. Yeah, me too. Nasty &)@%$!) bitch. She says LVP was a puppeteer and manipulated her. I don’t believe that for a second. I seriously doubt Brandi can be manipulated.

LVP is like why, Andy? Yolanda says it’s fair, since Kim got to come on the reunion, that Brandi should have her say. Hello? It’s a little different when you can’t respond. LVP says Brandi is ridiculous, which is an understatement, and a lot cleaner than what I’d say. Brandi is an attention seeker who can’t seem to get any on her own.

We go down Memory Lane from the little horse to Dubai. They talk about the Dubai trip. The suite LVP and Kyle was forty grand a night. Eileen tells a funny story about the aquarium in her room and how she was told no one could see in. She was in her bathrobe when the diver who cleans it came by and turned around to see him making an okay sign, and they show a pic.

No! No! No! We’re back at Munchhausen’s. I never ever want to hear that word again. They talk about LVP and Kyle’s friendship. Andy says Kyle seemed to want to do whatever it takes to keep the friendship going. Kyle says she loves Lisa and knows she feels the same and would always have her back. They talk about some of Yolanda’s Instagrams being funny. Yolanda gets insulted, but they show one that totally is, with her inside some device that looks like she’s in a toaster.

We see Ken telling LVP that LisaR is a wanker and stupid bitch. Both Eileen and LisaR say they’re appalled that a man would talk like that about a woman and would be offended if either of their husbands did that. Really? You mean to tell me that in a private conversation if your husband jumped to your defense that way, you’d be pissed at him? Highly, highly doubtful. And I also doubt it’s never happened. It’s sad that I’ve come to think these two are a bit delusional. I also love how Ken always stands up for his wife. I think it’s commendable.

LVP says that’s the way Ken felt and he was pissed off. She should have said he was being honest and giving his opinion. Yolanda brings up when Ken called her stupid and we flash back. Giggy! OMG we’re back to Munchhausen and LVP manipulating LisaR. I can’t take it. Andy asks if LisaR is easily manipulated. She doesn’t know. She says no one can figure out if she’s a people-pleaser or bipolar. Then we go back to you-know-what and who said what first. If I was at this reunion, I’d refuse to participate in this topic any more.

Andy moves on to….no, we’re not moving on. LisaR wants her moment and talks about LVP telling her to drag Kyle into it. What this actually sounds like — and I oughtta know after listening to this crap for months — is that both LVP and LisaR say that LVP said the same thing, but the inflection is different, which makes a difference in the meaning. For example: You can never put too much water in a nuclear reactor. I can say it one way where you’d think you can put in as much as you like, and another way where it’s a warning not to. I see what’s happening here.

I can’t write Munchhausen again, so I’ll just wait until we change topics. If ever.

Kathryn and Yolanda zone out and Erika plays with her hair.

Andy asks who Yolanda believes. Eileen wins. Kyle says it seems like they’re trying to make a problem between her and LVP. This makes sense, since Brandi kind of did the same thing. Someone tweets that Kyle has Stockholm Syndrome. Kyle says no one is an angel there and this is being made into a bigger deal than it is.

We flash back to various times where LVP was called manipulative. Andy asks if LVP wants to apologize to anyone and she says no. Andy says she and LisaR have known each other for 25 years, which surprises me because I didn’t know that. Was I not paying attention when LisaR joined the show? Maybe. Anyway, he asks if they can repair the friendship and LVP says she doesn’t know because LisaR seems so angry. She is a freaking firecracker. I might like to hang out with her occasionally, but I don’t think we could be good friends. LisaR says she’s hurt and disappointed, but doesn’t want to hold a grudge.

This sort of threw some confusion in for me. If they’ve known each other that long, has this “manipulation” been going on all this time and the light bulb just came on? Or did it just happen out of the blue?

Andy says they did it all with class and dignity…mostly.

They talk about what they got out of the season. Kyle says knowing about Lyme disease, which I totally agree with. I didn’t know it was so mystifying and debilitating. Yolanda just wants to get well. LisaR really has nothing to say. Eileen says there’s no contest that the Housewives win over soaps in the drama department. Kathryn says it was everything she expected and Erika agrees. Erika never saw the show before and says she jumped in and found out a lot of things the hard way.

LVP says she’s sorry people thought she was manipulative and regrets not understanding Yolanda’s illenss better and that she wasn’t as supportive as she should have been.

They each say the best quality of the person to their right. And it’s all nice for once.

Note: On Watch What Happens Live (with LisaR and Chef Ben as guests), Andy retired the word I hate. There was a count, and the number of times it was said this season was 80, but I would swear on a Bible that it was more than that.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we last left, Julius was smothering his father. Success! All the doctors finally hear the monitor and come running in. I guess no one thinks it’s weird that Julius puts the pillow down as they go running toward the old man. He still has a pulse.

Lushion comes to the hospital to see Pete and Oliver asks why. He says he just wants to see how he is and Oliver says there’s a camera in the room. Lushion is like, okay, but I guess Oliver doesn’t know where Lushion is at. He gets to the room and tells Ben he’s staying the night, so he can go home. Ben says he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and Lushion says yeah, they shouldn’t go against the captain’s orders, but they’re both staying. He asks how Ben’s hand is. Ben says good. Lushion says that’s good. Everything is good.

Lusion goes into Pete’s room. He wishes Pete had told him what was on the disk. He swears to get revenge for all the rookies on the wall. He sheds a few tears and says he’s going to get who did this. All of them.

When is Ramses going to be in the opening montage?

Crazy Eddie approaches Ben who tells him Lushion is there. Eddie says Lushion can’t stay with Pete every night and Ben asks what he should do. Eddie tells him stop asking stupid questions and smacks him. He says if he asks it again, he’ll shoot Ben’s other hand off and tells him to do nothing.

Lushion calls Natalie who says she can’t find the disk. She just pulled up to Alex’s house, but she doesn’t want to wake everybody. She wants to wait until tomorrow. He finally says okay, but I don’t understand why she doesn’t realize how important this is. She says no, she’ll do it, but he tells her no and he’ll call her early. Lushion swears to Pete he’ll find the disk.

Marcie wakes Brad. She tells him he was calling Alex’s name in his sleep, but he doesn’t believe it. She thinks he should go home. She says he’s drinking himself to sleep and crying in his sleep and he’s going home. She wants him to just talk to her because they’re not done. She says he’d better be gone or tell her they talked when she gets back.

Kelly tells Natalie she’ll get the house process started asap. Natalie asks the kids if they took the disk out of the kitchen. They all say no. Natalie is wearing some huge hoop earrings and they remind me of the time my boss said he was going to bring a basketball into the office to see if he could get it through my earrings.

Natalie and Esperanza leave for work and the kids get on the bus. Louise asks if she can talk to Kelly. Kelly says she doesn’t want to get involved. Louise says she knows she can help Alex. She says the whole thing is her son’s fault and she wants the opportunity to try and fix it. Kelly says she’ll talk to Alex, but the answer is going to be no. Louise says she’ll take her chances.

Kelly asks Alex how she slept and Alex tells her the three hours was decent. Kelly tells her Randal’s mother wants to talk to her because she thinks she can help, and maybe she should. Alex says Randal is trying to take her baby away and one of them will die first. Kelly says just give Louise a chance; she’ll stay right there. Alex still says no. Kelly says she still thinks it’s a good idea and Alex says bring her in. BTW, Kelly is wearing an amazing pink and orange retro-colored dress.

Louise thanks Alex and says she knows it’s difficult. She apologizes about Randal and says she thinks he’s losing his mind. She says he’s unpredictable and vindictive. She says maybe he was always that way and she didn’t see it. She tells Alex what he’s done to her and her family is awful.

Louise remembers something from the past where Randal was enraged over a girl’s perceived cheating. She says he finally calmed down enough to hear her and she’s still there waiting for the calm to come, but it hasn’t. She thinks there might be one thing they can do. She asks Alex is the baby is really Randal’s since she hasn’t seen him. Alex tells Kelly she’s not going to answer just so Louise can take the baby away.

Louise wants to see the baby, but Alex is afraid Randal sent her. Louise assures her Randal doesn’t even know she’s there. Kelly tells Alex it’s okay and Alex shows her the baby. He’s very tiny and cute. She says he looks just like Randal did. She asks what his name is and Alex says Brad. Thank God. I thought we were going through the whole season with this poor kid not having a name.

Louise takes Alex’s hand. She says Randal has always wanted to have a son and if he can’t see him, he’ll continue to rage out of control. She thinks if Randal can see his son, the custody thing will blow over. Alex is like, no way, and Louise says he’ll continue if he doesn’t. Alex says then she’ll play the only card she has. Louise says that he loves her and Alex says she doesn’t care. Louise says he likes conflict and if Alex gives him peace, he’ll do the same.

Alex asks if she’s done and Louise says if Alex wants her to be. Alex says yes, gripping the baby’s car seat like there’s an earthquake. Louise thanks Kelly for trying and leaves. Kelly starts to leave and Alex says she has an opinion, so what is she thinking. Kelly says Alex doesn’t want to know. She says she thinks if Alex wants to end all the drama, she should let Randal see his child. Kelly leaves for work.

Kelly stops by Ramses’s place on her lunch break to bring the papers for the sale of the house. She asks to come in. Ramses is still unpacking and she says she can help him for an hour. He says he’s good. A girl comes out from another room and says she found whatever, gives him a folder and goes back. Kelly says she has to go and bolts.

Kelly is crying at her desk and her phone keeps ringing. It’s Ramses and she doesn’t answer. Oh, come on, you haven’t even kissed yet and have no idea who that person was, not that he owes you any explanations. Alex calls and says she just sent Randal a text and he’s on his way. She wanted somebody to know and she’ll call when he leaves.

Randal the Insane comes in and asks how Alex is, saying she doesn’t look like she’s had a baby. Alex is stone-faced and tells him see the baby or get out. Randal gets emotional seeing his son. He asks what they’re going to name him and Alex says his name is Bradley. Randal says he wants the baby named after him and Alex says that’s not happening. Alex asks Randal to do her a favor and stop this now, the custody, the name, everything. Randal says he should have some rights. Alex agrees, but says that’s something they need to discuss between them later. He says he wants what’s best for the baby. Alex says she’s what’s best for him. Randal says Brad hates the baby. Alex says they’re getting a divorce and she’d never let any harm come to him. She’d hoped Randal would let her have her way. Randal says the child is his legacy and he can’t have him named after someone whose not his father. He says he’s not dictating how Alex is going to raise him; he wants custody and for the baby to not be around Brad or her father.

Alex says she wanted nothing to do with the baby at first because he reminded her of how he was conceived, in lies and in deceit and in a shed. She says she didn’t want life anymore, but the baby kept looking at her with his beautiful eyes and she knew he was her son and she’d never let anyone harm him. She says if Randal pursues this, he will harm him. Randal repeats he has rights. He says Alex doesn’t have the money to fight him, so let him have custody. She says that’s not happening. Randal says they’ll be right next door. Alex says the baby isn’t a pawn or a tie Randal wants to her and she tells him to let it go.

Randal picks up the baby. Alex tells Randal a story about a mother bear killing some hikers. She tells Randal he’s one of those hikers. She says the hikers had no idea they were in danger until it was over. She tells him his visit is over too, and she wants the baby back. Randal makes a sickening face and says she can have their son…for now. I hate him so much, and I especially hate those crazy faces he makes.

Alex tells him she’s sorry for what’s going to happen to him next. And in the perfect timing he always has, Brad walks in. He says wow and looks pretty grim.

Next time, Randal calls the baby RJ, Kelly tells Travis they’re done, and Julius’s father is still alive.