Tag Archives: The Real Housewives of New York City

May 21, 2020 – Nina Makes a Decision, Dorinda In Denial, a Japanese Tradition & Nice


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

On the phone, Laura tells someone that it’s important to the city and her personally. She needs the details of Nelle’s lawsuit against the hospital. She sees Robert at the bar, and says if he doesn’t mind her saying it, it doesn’t look like he’s gotten much rest. Is he throwing himself into work? He says, it seems that way. The reports of Holly’s death have been greatly exaggerated. She asks if he has any new information, and he says his gut instinct tells him Holly is very much alive.

Maxie says the shots of Sasha are spectacular. She shouldn’t have doubted that Sasha would find a way to rally. Sasha is glad she’s happy, and Maxie says Sasha was a true wreck, but found a way to see the blue skies. Valentin comes in and looks at the photos. He’s pleased they have a signature look they can capitalize on. Maxie says Lucy led her to believe Valentin was going to be a silent partner, and he says he’s not going to make a habit of it. The launch is soon, and he wanted to see the literal face of the product. He’s leaving the beauty promotion in Maxie’s capable hands while he focuses on other ventures.

Ned talks to Tracy on the phone, and says, a third party is after Dylan’s shares… He’s trying to trace them. Apparently they’re searching for other parties willing to sell. He’ll let her know if he finds anything further.

Also on the phone, Olivia says no one’s ever said anything to her like that before. Brook walks in, but Olivia doesn’t know she’s there. Olivia says, they see through to her soul like no one else can. Brook clears her throat, and Olivia says she’s got to go. Brook asks if Olivia is going to pretend she didn’t walk in on an emotional phone call, and Olivia says, it’s not what it looks like. Brook says, it sounds like Olivia is having an affair behind her dad’s back.

Jax goes to Nina’s office, and she wonders if he’s checking up on her. He asks if she’d be upset if he was. He knows it’s a big day, and she asks if he’s there to wish her good luck. She doesn’t know if she should stand up for Nelle, but if she doesn’t, who else will?

Nelle swears to tell the truth with her hand on the Bible. Willow grasps Michael’s hand, and Carly shakes her head.

Laura tells Robert, she doesn’t understand. Did the ship not sink? He tells her, that’s not what he’s saying. Mac and Anna didn’t give him the whole story. The Bureau has a theory about the ship. Laura asks if Mac and Anna believe Holly survived, and he says he didn’t say that. They don’t know his ex-wife the way he does, but until he gets information on the Bureau’s theory about who sunk the ship, he can’t find whoever’s holding her. Does Laura think he’s nuts?

Olivia says she’s not cheating on Brook’s dad; she loves Ned very much. Brook says, when she came in, she clearly heard Olivia tell someone no one has ever said that to her before. Atrocious song lyrics, but it sounds like an affair. Olivia says, this is her house, and she doesn’t need to explain herself. Brook says, it’s Monica’s house. Alan gave it to her. (I laugh.) Olivia says, so they’re both guests in Monica’s house, and Brook says, if Olivia doesn’t want to tell her, she’ll tell her dad what she heard and he can judge for himself. Olivia says Ned has enough on his plate, not to mention the trouble Brook’s caused. How many times has she been arrested? Does the PCPD have a cell with her name on it yet? Brook says, they were misunderstandings, and Olivia asks if that’s what Brook is calling assault and disturbing the peace. She’s not having an affair. She was talking to a psychic.

Valentin tells Maxie, he brings good news. Deception is going to be one of the main sponsors of the 2020 Nurses Ball. Maxie says, the exposure alone will be huge, but she also thought it would be months before their launch party. Valentin says he’s excited about the shots, and Maxie tells Sasha, whatever she did to get her head back in the game, it worked. Sasha flashes back to the being given the vial of cocaine; a little something to get her through the shoot.

Jax says Nina told him that she had second thought; he’d like her to lean into them. She asks if he thinks it’s a mistake. Doesn’t he think Nelle deserves a second chance? He says, it’s true people change, but if she’s wrong, Wiley will pay the price. She knows the risk. Not only will a child suffer, she’ll feel responsible, and he doesn’t wish that on her. She says if she doesn’t stand up for Nelle, if she treats Nelle like everyone else does, and Nelle loses, there will be virtually no chance for Nelle to turn her life around.

Martin asks Nelle to tell the court how she felt when her baby was horribly and shamefully stolen. Diane objects, saying Martin isn’t asking questions, just giving his Southern fried opinion. The judge sustains it, but tells her to please refrain from descriptive adjectives. Martin asks what Nelle’s reaction was when the son she previously thought was dead, was alive. She says she was confused at first, and so overwhelmed that her little boy was alive. But she was also incredibly hurt to think Brad orchestrated the entire thing. She thought he was her friend. He switched her baby with the boy he adopted, and watched her grieve for nearly two years. How could he be so cruel? And when he asked Michael to be Wiley’s godfather, it was untenable. (Apparently, Nelle reads.) Martin says she wasn’t the only person hurt by Brad’s actions. Her new husband believed he was Wiley’s grandfather. She says, Jules bonded with the boy he believed was his grandson. Once he found out, the pain brought them closer together. Sam and Carly look at each other. She says they were shocked, but it gave them a connection – and possibly something more.

Brook asks where Olivia found a psychic? Late night TV? She laughs, and Ned says, enough. Brook says who spends good money on someone sitting in a call center? Olivia says the psychic isn’t in a call center. She’s well-renowned, and comes highly recommended. She’s sure it’s totally legit, and how else can she find out about Dante? Brook says she’s so sorry. She didn’t stop to think. Olivia says she never does, does she? She walks away, and Ned follows. He says he knows how bad she wants to be reassured about Dante, and Olivia says she doesn’t know what to do. Her letters come back unopened, and she has no way of knowing if he’s okay, or if he’s getting better. He says he’s sorry he hasn’t been available. He’s been so busy with ELQ, obsessing over who’s trying to mount a hostile takeover of the family’s shares, he didn’t see she’s obviously in pain.

Sasha tells Maxie, it was important to Deception, and a chance to prove herself. If the company does well, so will she. She knows a lot of people don’t trust her after she deceived Nina, and wanted to use every trick in the book. Maxie says that’s why they’re lucky to have her. Maxie suddenly stumbles a little, and Peter asks if she’s okay. She says she’s just a little lightheaded; probably too much coffee. Peter says, executive decision. She needs to take a break. She says, a short one, and then back to work. They leave, and Valentin asks if Sasha is okay.

Martin asks if Nelle and Julian are in love. Nelle says she would never speak for her husband. She respects him too much for that, so she’ll let him answer. What she will say is that Julian loves Wiley deeply. She knows he’d do anything to protect and keep her son safe. They have that in common, and the way Julian talks, she knows he loves Wiley abundantly, and will make an excellent co-parent. Sam looks sick, and Nelle says, Julian loves Wiley as much as she does. She could never find anything more appealing than that.

Nina tells Jax, she knows what it’s like to have no one in your corner, and hope things work out; what it’s like to be lonely. Jax says there are a lot of words he’d use in relation to Nelle, but Nelle isn’t lonely. Nina says Nelle feels abandoned, and with no one there to back her up, she might lash out. She might go back to prison. He says, if she does, it will be her own fault. Nina isn’t responsible. Nina remembers asking Nelle if she’s blackmailing Julian, and Nelle says she had to resort to desperate measures. Nina understands what mothers do to keep their child safe, and no one should be able to take them away.

Martin asks why Nelle feels she deserves sole custody of Wiley, and Nelle says she’s already lost two years with him. Then Michael cruelly kept Wiley away from her. He’s selfish and entitled; not lessons she wants passed on to her child. She’s paid her debt to society, has an amazing job at Crimson, roots in the community, and a husband who loves her son as much she does. She wants to dedicate the rest of her life to making sure Wiley has the home family deserves. Martin tells her, well said. He has no more questions. Diane says Nelle stated she has roots in the community, and wants to dedicate the rest of her life to make sure Wiley has the best family possible. Nelle says, that’s exactly what she wants. Diane asks her to tell the court, why on the night she allegedly discovered her son was alive, she raced to the apartment where Willow was taking care of him, and assaulted Willow? And then attempted to abduct Wiley, and take him out of the country. Martin objects, saying it’s inflammatory. Diane is clearly badgering the witness with pointless verbal assaults and unfounded accusations.

Laura tells Robert, they all believed Nikolas was dead, and were proven wrong. She’s the last person to give up hope of survival. She asks if Robert has any proof other than his gut feeling? Is there evidence? I have to interject, there’s about the same amount of evidence as there was with Nikolas – no body. Robert says the evidence is there, but he needs to find it. He could use a partner. He tried Luke, but his line has been disconnected. He asks if she has Luke’s current contact, but she says, sorry; she doesn’t. She thinks his best bet is to go through Tracy.

Olivia says, since when is someone is making a play for ELQ? and Ned says he’s had his suspicions for a while. Nelle sold her shares to an anonymous third party, and Tracy has rejected several offers for Dylan’s shares. He asks if they can talk about it later, and she says, of course (🍷). He tells her, Brook had no business eavesdropping, much less criticizing, but he’s not sure it’s the best way for Olivia to get help. Olivia says she feels helpless. Rocco had a Take Your Dad to School Day. He says, and Rocco didn’t have Dante. She says, even worse. Rocco could have taken Ned or Sonny, but he took Dustin. She confronted Lulu about why she was pushing Dustin on Rocco, and Lulu said it was Rocco’s idea. She’s only been seeing Dustin a couple of months, and Rocco is already looking at Dustin like a father figure. It’s like her son is being erased. If that happens, what motivation will Dante have to get better or come home? She feels like she’s running out of time. She gets that people think psychics are stupid or silly, but the psychic is the only person telling her it’s going to be okay. He says, if what’s happening to Dante happened to Brook, he’d go crazy, but doesn’t she think it’s possible the psychic is just telling her what she wants to hear?

Brook calls Linc, and says she saw his social media. She knows he’s staying in Port Charles, and needs a face to face with him.

Valentin says, he gathers Michael married Willow, but Sasha doesn’t reply. She picks up her bag, and he says, sorry about that. She says her personal life is personal. Their break-up had nothing to do with Deception, and doesn’t affect her role as the face of the brand or as a partner. Valentin says he genuinely wanted to check on her. He’s been where she is, and knows what it’s like to lose somebody based on something you’ve done. Nothing is ever as black and white as it looks on the surface.

Jax says Nina’s impulse to stand up for Nelle is admirable, but he doesn’t think Nelle is capable of accepting kindness; she’s too damaged. The worst outcome would be if she raised Wiley to follow in her footsteps, and he turns vindictive, and incapable of love. Nina’s phone makes noise, and she says she had an alert on it. If she’s going to testify, she needs to leave now.

Martin says there’s no evidence that his client was trying to flee the country; the charges were dismissed. Diane says, they were dismissed without prejudice, meaning they can be filed again, like with Nelle’s attack on Willow. She asks if Nelle loves her husband, and Nelle says, with every fiber in her being. Diane says, as of this morning, it would seem. She has no further questions. Michael asks what about sticking to the plan, and Diane tells him it never hurts to remind the court of the plaintiff’s alleged kidnapping charges. Martin calls Julian to the stand. Julian tells Nelle, he thought he wasn’t supposed to testify, and she says, buck up. Plans change, and it’s showtime. She doesn’t have to remind him what’s at stake. He sighs, and gets up.

Martin says there are a lot of opinions on their marriage, but the only two that are relevant belong to Julian and Nelle. He asks if it’s true that they want to give Wiley a loving stable home, and that’s why they married, and Julian says, true. Martin asks if it’s also true that Julian was the nurturing figure in Wiley’s life when he’s son Lucas tragically ended up in a coma. Julian says, when Lucas was in a coma, his husband Brad was an emotional wreck, and he stepped in to fill the void. Martin asks if it’s fair to say he loves Wiley as much as Lucas, and Julian says, that’s exactly how he feels. Martin says the elephant in the room is Julian’s prison record. He was sent to Pentenville. How long since he was released? Julian says, three years, and Martin asks, in that time, has he had any brush with the law? Julian says, not so much as a speeding ticket, and Martin asks what he does for a living. He says own Charlie’s pub, and Martin says, it has historical significance in Port Charles. Julian supposes it does, and Martin asks if it’s fair to say he cleaned up his life. Julian says he has, and Martin says they all commend him for it. He has no further questions, and Diane says, yes, the elephant in the room. Drug trafficking, assault, extortion, attempted murder… Martin says, not all of those have been proven, and she says, there was enough evidence to convict Julian. She asks who Alexis is to Julian, and he says, his ex-wife. Diane says, whose throat he held a knife to, and threatened to kill, as well as helping his sister (the other) Olivia try to blow up Port Charles. Julian says he was forced to do those things, and Diane says, he’s perfect for Wiley. She’s done with the witness. Nelle tells Martin, do something.

Maxie picks at her food, and pushes the plate away. Peter says she barely ate, and she says she’s not hungry. He doesn’t want to tell her what to do, but if she’s under the weather, maybe she should see a doctor. She says she loves that he’s looking out for her, but she doesn’t need a doctor. It’s just… He says, what is it?

Olivia tells Ned, they’ll have to agree to disagree. Her opinion about psychics is just as valid as his. He says he’s not trying to change what she believes, but he doesn’t want to see anyone take advantage of her pain. She says it’s the only thing giving her comfort. The doorbell rings. It’s Robert, who apologizes for showing up unannounced. He promises it won’t take long. Olivia tells him, come in, and Ned asks, what’s going on? Robert says, it’s not public knowledge, but Holly was on a boat that sank, and is believed to be dead. Olivia says she’s sorry, and Ned asks what he can do to help. Robert says, there are certain discrepancies in the Bureau’s report that don’t add up. He’d like to ask Luke for help, but the only way to contact him is through Ned’s mother. Ned says he’s been down that road with Luke, and Luke gets scratchy if he gives out the number. He’ll call his mother, and let her know what’s up. Robert says he appreciates it, and Ned goes to make the call. Olivia asks how Robert is holding up, and he says he hates every minute. The only thing worse than accepting the fact Holly is lost is that he’ll never see her again. Why does he have the feeling he’s not the only one who’s been through the wringer today?

Linc and Brook meet at the MetroCourt. He says he’s surprised she wants to hook up with him, but she says the only thing she has in mind is business. He says their business was concluded when she bought herself out. She says he never wanted her shares. He was just a front for a third party, and she wants to know who.

Sasha says she wishes she could trust Valentin. He says, it’s not tough. Talk to Lulu. She says according to Lulu, he’s always wrong. She posed as Nina’s daughter for the money, but she also knew there was no girl being cheated out of an inheritance. She knew he truly loved Nina, and the more she got to know Nina, it was clear Nina loved him back. Even after all this, she still has sympathy for what he was trying to accomplish. Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reason. He says that’s why he hired her; she’s a good person, and he knew she’s be a good daughter for Nina. She asks if he’s not sorry, and he says he is, and he’s sorry she’s still paying the price. If it’s any consolation, the brand is going to be a massive success, and make her a very wealthy woman. She says, too bad money can’t buy happiness, and Valentin agrees. He leaves, and Sasha flashes back to Michael telling her that he loves her, and her saying she loves him too.

Julian finds Sam in the hallway messing with her phone. She turns to him, and he says, Sam, please… She hauls off and smacks him good. As we all want to.

Julian tells Sam, he understands why she slapped him, but let him explain. She says, and make a bunch of excuses? Don’t bother. He asks her to hear him out. She says she told Lucas about his new stepmom. He says he’d hoped to tell Lucas himself, but she says she saved him the time. Lucas’s exact words were, Julian is dead to him, and after listening to his ridiculous testimony, she feels the same way. He says, Sam, please… and she says, don’t Sam please her anything. The worst part is he used the most painful thing that ever happened to Lucas against him, and allowed Nelle to weaponize Wiley to use against Michael. If Nelle gets custody, she was going to say she’d never talk to him again, but been there, done that. He’s dead to her too. He says everything he’s done, he did for his kids, and she says she’s not on that list anymore. She and Lucas are better off without him in their lives, and if Leo eventually comes to the same conclusion, they’ll be there to support him.

Olivia gives Robert some coffee, and he asks if she wants to talk about it. She says Brook overheard her call a psychic, and one thing led to another. She told Ned, and he was nicer than Brook was, but ultimately, he thinks the same thing. Robert says, who’s to say she’s certifiable? Not him. He spent time in the outback, and the Aborigines are a very spiritual people. What we look upon as superstitious, they look at as a natural part of life. He asks what she hopes to find, and she says, Dante. She needs to have some hope that he’ll be okay, especially since the whole world is moving on without him. She has to keep fighting, and believing he’s okay. If the only person who gives her hope is a psychic, Robert must think she’s crazy. He says she doesn’t want to give up hope, and he doesn’t want to give up hope about Holly. There’s nothing crazy about that. Ned comes in, as Olivia takes Robert’s hand.

Brook tells Linc, it all makes sense. The way he stonewalled, then agreed to let her buy herself out. The shares weren’t for him. He’s the front man. Who’s pulling the strings? He says, whatever decision he made about the shares is none of her business. She asks who he sold them to. She’s not leaving until he gives her a name.

Valentin sees Laura at the MetroCourt, and she tells him that she’s curious. Did he get an invitation to Windymere for the unveiling of Ava’s portrait? He says he did. He thought it was a joke, but doesn’t know if it was Ava or Nikolas twisting the knife. She hopes he chooses not to go, for Charlotte’s sake. And Nikolas’s. He doesn’t need any more trouble, even though he’s asking for it. He says he threw it away. He doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone in Port Charles.

Julian goes back into the courtroom. Judge Lowe asks when they can expect Martin’s next witness, and Diane says, yes. How long are they supposed to wait for this mythical witness? Nina and Jax walk in, and Martin says, here she is now. Not so mythical after all. Quel disappointment.

Martin calls Nina to the stand. Jax sits next to Carly, who asks what the hell they’re doing. He says he has no idea.

Maxie looks at a calendar on her phone, while Peter takes a business call. When he comes back, he says she hasn’t taken another bite. Is she sure she’s okay? She says, she’s sure it’s stress from work, but maybe he’s right, and she should see a doctor.

Sasha digs in her bag, and the woman who gave her the coke appears with another vial. She says, for next time, but Sasha says, it was a one-time thing. The woman says, keep it. You never know when you’ll need another boost.

Laura calls Anna, and leaves a message to give her a call when Anna has a few minutes to talk. She ran into Robert, and to be honest, she’s worried about him.

Ned comes back, and gives Robert the number to Luke’s latest burner phone, and says Luke is expecting his call. Robert thanks him, and says he appreciates it. Olivia tells Robert to look out for himself, and he tells her to do the same. After he leaves, Ned says Olivia seems like she’s feeling better, and she says she is. She guesses you never know who will come up with the right words to say.

Linc tells Brook, it was a one-time deal, and he has zero obligation to tell her anything. The person wants to remain anonymous. She says she still hasn’t gone public with what he did to her. Powerful men have lost careers because of me-too. He asks if she’s threatening him, and Valentin comes by. He says let him take it from here, and Linc leaves. He tells Brook, he’s been looking forward to this moment. He’s heard a lot about her.

Nina is asked if she’ll tell the truth. She hesitates. She looks at Jax, then looks at Nelle. She swears to tell the truth. So help her God.

There was no preview for Monday, but tomorrow’s GH is from April 1, 2015, and contains scenes from the original first episode in 1963.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Leah meets LuAnn for lunch. Both of them aren’t feeling well, with some kind of respiratory ailments. Hmm… In Leah’s interview, she says, the orchard trip was bullsh*t. They wait for Tinsley, and order in the meantime. LuAnn says, poor Sonja, and Leah says she did it to herself. We see a clip of Sonja throwing up in the limo, way too close to Tinsley. Leah says she loves crazy, but this is bad crazy. Dorinda, Sonja, even Ramona. LuAnn says, they have their issues.

Ramona, Dorinda, and Sonja go for a workout with Ramona’s instructor Bergen. Ramona says Bergen transformed her body. Dorinda says, yesterday was a long day. Bergen puts  them through their paces. How any of them can work out after what they consumed the day before is mind boggling. It’s not like they’re eighteen.

Leah tells LuAnn that she’s sympathetic and empathetic. Dorinda is grieving and dealing with the break-up, but to say what she did to Tinsley… Leah wonders where it’s coming from. LuAnn says, there’s a lot of judgment on Dorinda’s part. They have to step in and help figure it out. Tinsley joins them, also coughing.

Sonja says, this is the worst punishment ever. In her interview, she says, workouts shouldn’t even be legal. Dorinda says she thought it was beautiful yesterday, and Ramona says it was a beautiful setting. Dorinda says she thinks Ramona is concerned about Sonja, and Sonja says when she sees them go off rails. Ramona was overly friendly and flirtatious. Ramona says Sonja wasn’t in control, and past the point. She wants Sonja healthy and happy. Sonja says she has to be careful out in public. Sonja asks what was with Dorinda yelling at Tinsley, and Dorinda says Tinsley has played the victim and little girl enough. They could all be victims.

LuAnn say she’s had issues with all the women in the past, and Tinsley’s reaction is defensive and yelling. In her interview, LuAnn says, Tinsley does the wrong thing. She screeches, and Dorinda reacts with aggression because she’s annoyed. Leah thinks the real issue is that Tinsley was born into a life that Dorinda puts on a pedestal. LuAnn says, that doesn’t mean she can judge and get away with it. Leah says Tinsley has to stop being defensive. In Leah’s interview, she says, if you let people walk all over you, and don’t make them respect you, it’s never going to happen. If Tinsley stood up to Dorinda, and said, bitch, mind your own business, Dorinda would back off.  She says, Tinsley needs to thug her out, and LuAnn says Tinsley screams like a child having a tantrum. Tinsley stamps her foot, and says that’s just her.

Ramona tells Dorinda, Tinsley is mentally and emotionally not her age. She feels sorry for Tinsley. Dorinda says, God helps those who help themselves (which, BTW, is found nowhere in the Bible). In Ramona’s interview, she says, Dorinda thinks Tinsley plays the victim, but Dorinda is victimizing Tinsley. She tells Dorinda, it’s challenging to be around them. Tinsley is psychologically co-dependent, and Dorinda is frustrated. Dorinda needs to take a step back. Someone didn’t give Tinsley the right tools.

Tinsley says Dorinda is doing, and she’s reacting. Leah suggests an intervention, which doesn’t get a positive reaction. LuAnn says maybe at a health spa could be cool, as long as nothing gets broken. It’s totally up to Tinsley. Leah tells Tinsley not to go Cardi B, but go Dalai Lama. Cardi Lama.

Dorinda goes to see life coach Daryl. She tells him that she recognizes where her anger is coming from; it’s frustration, and it comes out because she wants a person to be the best they can be. In her interview, she says she started with Dr. Daryl three months ago, to help her process what’s going on. It became too much, and she’s not good at asking for help. She tells Daryl that she and Tinsley are too different for her to tolerate Tinsley. Daryl says they can be respectful when they’re face to face. All we see is what’s on the surface, when underneath is a whole world we don’t know about. Dorinda says she handled it poorly because she’s going through something. In Dorinda’s interview, she says dealing with the house and the break-up is having an effect on her personality. She’s been going through the house thing for a year, and she’s not just throwing away part of her life. It’s under water, and too painful to go through, plus, it’s ruined. Daryl sees that it stirs up her emotions. Dorinda says, it’s making her angry toward people. She felt lost after Richard died, but instead of taking it on, and allowing herself to be in a sea of it, she pretended everything was okay. She didn’t acknowledge the tremendous loss, from motherhood down, that was making her angry. In her interview, Dorinda says, she never put a period on the life she once had. In the process of resurrecting the house, she had to let go of a lot of things that, without knowing it, kept her tied to the past. Daryl says, she feels stuck, and Dorinda thinks that’s what got her here. She was trying to explain it to John. She’s trying to be completely selfish, and mindful of herself about what’s going on. Daryl asks about John, but Dorinda says she hasn’t seen him. In her interview, she says her daughter said she and John met too quickly after Richard’s death, but you do what you’ve got to do. She doesn’t regret it, and she’ll always love John, but she’s in a different place than she was when she met him. Daryl tells her to focus on what she needs to do. She needs time and space. She says she’s sort of enjoying it; it’s a relief to just worry about herself. Her life is quieter, and she needed the noise to go away. She can’t take it right now. Daryl says she’s always been taking care of someone else. She can still do that, but put her own needs first. She says, it feels good.

In LuAnn’s interview, she says when she heard it would be a spa day, she didn’t think of a Russian bath house. We see a clip of Leah on the phone, saying she wants get the group to go to a place in the neighborhood. It’s an oasis of relaxation, and good for detoxing. Maybe they can get to a better place. They definitely need something to relax as a group. In her interview, Leah says, it’s a New York institution, and has more character than an East Side spa.

Tinsley wanders in, and the woman at the reception desk gives her a locked box to put her jewelry in. Tinsley tells her, thanks, but no thanks. Leah orders lunch for the women, and meets Tinsley at the vodka bar. It’s really cool. There are glass jars of fresh herbs and fruits that the vodka is strained through. Tinsley tries a ginger shot, and declares it delicious. The bartender tells her that Russians don’t sip; they down the shot. She says she’s American.

In the limo, Dorinda tells LuAnn that she doesn’t go downtown much, and LuAnn say she’s not thrilled. Dorinda says the only time she’s down there is for a legal certificate, jury duty, or jail. I actually had jury duty there once. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, past Canal Street, there’s a weather change; it gets greyer. Geez. Elitist much? LuAnn says she’s only been down there when she got a summons. LuAnn says she had lunch with Leah and Tinsley, and Dorinda says she’s sure she was the topic. LuAnn says they were trying to figure out how to approach her, so they can make things better. Leah thought gangster was the way to go. Dorinda says that’s why she and Leah get along. Leah is also a great mother, and Dorinda respects that. Leah has been through a lot, and Dorinda doesn’t want to live in a fantasy world like Tinsley.

Everyone – clients and employees – is given a Gilligan type hat to protect your head, but I’m not sure from what. In Ramona’s interview, she says the spa is rustic, and not what she’s used to. It reflects how Leah is; rough around the edges. Ramona tells Tinsley to let things go with Dorinda. She told Dorinda that she was being a bully. Leah says, positive vibes only.  

As Dorinda and LuAnn approach the spa, Dorinda mentions there’s a strip club down the road. Sonja wanders in after them, and says, oh Lord. Inside, Ramona looks in the mirror and says she would pick up herself. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she’s going to let things go. She and Dorinda can stay on opposite sides of the room; that’s how they’re going to play it. Sonja comes in and asks if this is where jury duty is. In her interview, Sonja says, there’s graffiti everywhere. She avoids areas like this uptown, and downtown, it’s everywhere. Leah says they’re doing the dry sauna first. Sonja says, it’s like a prison; very bare bones. As they sit in the sauna, Dorinda informs Leah that Richard never knew she had fake boobs, and insists Leah feel them. They move on to a massage called banya. One of the couples on 90 Day Fiancé did this too. A couple of dudes hit them with branches as they lie on the tables. Ramona says she’s getting beaten by weeds. LuAnn feels like she’s being attacked by a tree. There’s some sexual banter, and in Leah’s interview, she says she thought she was horny. These women are more desperate than she is. In LuAnn’s interview, she says if she’s going to be beaten by a bush, she wants two hot guys to do it. I’m shocked they didn’t take this opportunity to show the clip that keeps on giving – LuAnn drunkenly falling into a bush. She says she’s turning over a new leaf, and probably wondering how she can include this in her cabaret act. Ramona thinks it’s a little sensual, and Leah says it’s the most action had in a while. In Sonja’s interview, she says she doesn’t know what this does, but after this, she might try S&M. Tinsley doesn’t want to do it (no surprise), and Leah tells her that she’s not being a part of things. In Tinsley’s interview, she says how does she know she’s not allergic to the branches, and it looks weird. Next is a foot scrub, which gets a little more interest, and now I’m jealous. They’re told to lie face down for the foot scrub, but Dorinda says, the last time she did that, she ended up with Hannah.

They go to a room with a private hot tub, where lunch is laid out; a beautiful spread of upscale Russian food, with caviar of course. LuAnn says crazy parties must go on in this room. The women descend on the caviar, since it’s something they recognize. Leah makes a toast, saying, when they first met, she thought she wouldn’t fit in as a downtown girl. But as time has gone by, they’ve opened up to her, and she appreciates it. They clink glasses. LuAnn thanks Leah for bringing them down there. She’s never seen anything like it. Ramona says she’s been looking into the group going to Newport, Rhode Island. LuAnn says, it’s gorgeous (truth! I’ve been there), and Ramona says it’s about a three-hour tour drive. In Leah’s interview, she says, before they plan another trip, they have some leftover drama to handle from the last trip. Nobody is talking about what they should be talking about. Leah says she feels like there’s an elephant in the room. She tells them, she speaks from the heart. After the orchard trip, she cried, and they need to acknowledge their sh*t. She saw people attacking each other a lot, and she thinks they should acknowledge that. Dorinda says she acknowledges it, and LuAnn says, Tinsley felt ganged up on, and rightly so. Dorinda says it was Tinsley’s flip comment that started it. We flash back to Tinsley at the orchard, mumbling about Dorinda being judgmental. Ramona says they want to figure out a way for that not to happen again. She tells Dorinda, there’s a pattern when she’s upset. She goes for the jugular, and hits below the belt. Ramona doesn’t think Dorinda recognizes it. Dorinda says Ramona does it all the time, so she can recognize it easily. In Ramona’s interview, she says there Dorinda goes, flipping it around, and pointing fingers at someone else, because she doesn’t want to recognize it in herself. Dorinda throws in how Ramona asked what she’d do if she found John texting other women when they were in a group. We flash back to that, and Ramona counters with the time Dorinda made a snide remark about a mug shot to LuAnn, and we flash back to that. Ramona says Dorinda does it all the time, and Dorinda tells Ramona that you don’t say things like that in a group, and she should pull Dorinda aside. In Dorinda’s interview, she calls Ramona a living vampire. She sucks the life out of people, Ramona tells Dorinda not to make it about her, and LuAnn says she’s not being specific. Leah says she wasn’t trying to blow up the table. She wanted to have a dialogue. She adores and respects all of them, and has a special bond with Dorinda. But she’s terrified that if she does something wrong, she’ll be on the other side of it. Ramona says Dorinda is scary, and Dorinda says she’s scared of Ramona. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, Dorinda goes for someone else, so it’s not about her. Tinsley says she respects Dorinda, and doesn’t judge her, and Dorinda insists she doesn’t do that. Everyone clinks glasses, probably because they gave up, and Leah says, a judgement free zone. Dorinda wanders off, and LuAnn says, a cease fire is good.

Leah’s sister Sarah comes by Leah’s place. In Leah’s interview, she says her sister is basically her times 100. They’re like twins, and share a bit of the same soul. It gets intense, but at this point they’re both adults, moms, and best friends. Leah tells Sarah that she has a salad from Pita Chip Guy. In her interview, Leah explains that Pita Chip Guy is a guy she’s dating who owns a kosher restaurant and pita bakery. She loves Jews; she can’t help it. He’s quirky, funny, and intelligent, and she wants to see where it goes. She tells Sarah that she took a nude picture with pita chips in a strategic place, and Pita Chip Guy sent the picture to her, thinking he was sending it to someone else. Sarah thinks he just made a mistake, and it’s not big deal. In her interview, Leah says she likes weirdos. She likes intellectuals, who are smart and funny, and likes dating ugly guys. She wants to be a beauty, and needs a beast. She asks Sarah how their mom and dad are, and Sarah says she doesn’t want to make Leah upset. Their mom is upset about her. In Leah’s interview, she says she and her mother are on speaking terms again. We flash back to Ramona advising her to talk to her mom in person. She says there was lingering  tension, and now they’re just leaving it alone. She tells Sarah that she thinks their mom wants her to stop telling her everything. Sarah says Leah’s way to connect has always been bad behavior, and Leah says she needs to learn how to stop that dynamic. In her interview, she says she’s caught in an old dynamic with her mother, even though they’re different and the relationship is different now. Sarah suggests Leah engage in conversation that’s about their mother, not her. Its basic.

Ramona has a girls night at her place, including Elyse, Nicole, and a couple of other women we don’t know. In her interview, Ramona says it’s a great way to build relationships. She has different groups over, and plays matchmaker with her women friends. She tells Elyse that she’s feeling finally her new home. Elyse asks if Ramona has condoms in her nightstand, and when Ramona says no, Elyse wants to check for herself. In her interview, Elyse says that Ramona likes to play the innocent Catholic girl, but then talks about how horny she is, and how she’s never been hotter. Ramona says when she was in a relationship, she kept them for her boyfriend. Sometimes he needed extras. She says she’s embarrassing herself, like that’s possible. Elyse says she wants to sleep with Ramona if it’s that good.

Sonja arrives, bringing Ramona a dress to replace the one with the broken zipper. We see a picture of Ramona in it, and it’s very pretty – a lace overlay on a nude foundation. Dorinda comes in next, and in Ramona’s interview, she says it was a sh*t show with her and Dorinda yesterday, but she’d already invited her, so she hopes Dorinda is in a good mood, and being the old Dorinda. In Sonja’s interview, she says when they were in the locker room at the spa, Ramona said she should lose ten pounds because she’s beautiful. She’s beautiful with the ten pounds. Dorinda tells Elyse about the spa, and Elyse says she knows it from when she worked in the area, and businessmen would take strippers there. Ramona doesn’t want Dorinda thinking she doesn’t respect her, and Dorinda says that what Ramona did was wrong. Ramona says Dorinda takes people down all the time. Dorinda whips out her phone, and asks if Ramona knows what schadenfreude means. Elyse says, you don’t wish ill on people, but if something bad happens, you get pleasure out of it. Dorinda says Ramona will bring up something from years ago, when they’re supposed to be friends. She needs support. Ramona says Dorinda lashes out when she’s questioned.

Ramona tries to get Dorinda to talk in private, but Dorinda won’t have it. In Ramona’s interview, she says it’s ironic that Dorinda doesn’t want her to bring things up in front of other people, but when they’re in front of people Dorinda doesn’t know, she’s going off like a crazy woman. Dorinda claims Ramona fat shamed Sonja, who called her up crying. Ramona loves for them to do well, but not better than she is. Ramona says Dorinda is so angry, and Dorinda says Ramona likes people’s misfortune. She likes to make people feel bad, and she’s a coward. Does she think it’s nice to bring up something from two years ago? Ramona asks if Dorinda thinks what she did to Tinsley was nice. She’s sorry Dorinda is unhappy, and sorry Richard died. She’s sorry Dorinda’s anniversary is coming up. Dorinda says she’s sorry so many men have come and gone in Ramona’s life. Elyse tells them to stop, and Dorinda jets with Sonja. Elyse says they’re both nuts. Ramona tells her, Dorinda said if there’s something negative to say, it should be done in private. Why does she do what she doesn’t want done? In the hallway, Sonja says she wants to be herself, and if she wants to be fat, why is Ramona shaming her? I see she latched onto that now. Ramona hunts them down, and says she loves them both. Dorinda starts crying, and says she needed support yesterday, wagging her finger in Ramona’s face. She just left a seven and a half year relationship. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s not an easy time; there’s a slight depression. She doesn’t need to be knocked down; she needs a soft place to land. Ramona isn’t a pillow; she’s a concrete block. Dorinda says Ramona is like a sister to her. Ramona takes Dorinda’s hand, and asks her to come back; she loves them both. As they head back in, Dorinda says she knows her delivery sucks. She’s been trying with a life coach. She doesn’t want to be alone again. Ramona says she’s afraid she’s going to be alone forever, and she, Dorinda, and Sonja have a three-way hug. Elyse says the three of them could drive Mother Teresa to drink. In Ramona’s interview, she says she loves Dorinda, but she won’t admit how mean-spirited she is. When Dorinda is like this, nothing will work. There’s nothing you can do. Just shut your mouth.

Next time, a trip to Newport, Sonja says maybe she’ll get her mojo back, Leah goes on another drunken rampage, and Ramona doesn’t like the behavior.

🍤  On Top Chef, Melissa was bummed because Restaurant Wars threw her off, and she’d been on the bottom in the challenges. She was in an emotional rut. Stephanie was also down, having lost her brother to addiction a year and a half ago. In her interview, she said she’d come out stronger, and that’s why she was there – it was her victory song. Padma introduced the guest judge, pastry chef and three time James Beard Award winner Sherry Yard. Padma told the chefs that the Quickfire challenge was going to be a piece of cake. Sherry said baking was all about time, temperature, taste, and methodology. The chefs would get the basic pantry staples – dairy, flour, sugar, and eggs – but the rest of their ingredients would come from a blindfold taste test. They had five minutes to guess twenty ingredients. Whichever ingredients they guessed right, they could use, although they didn’t have to use them all. The chef who guessed the highest number of ingredients would get an hour, the next two would get forty-five minutes, and the last two, a half hour. All Padma would say about the winner is that they’d get a huge advantage in the elimination challenge that would be worth fighting for. Stephanie guessed the most ingredients – fifteen, with twelve seconds to spare. Next, Gregory and Melissa tied with twelve, and at the bottom was the other white Bryan, guessing only seven correctly. The biggest stumbling block seemed to be almond butter, which most of them guessed to be peanut butter. I thought this was kind of odd, since I find almond butter to have a very distinctive taste. After the chefs presented their desserts, the judges loved Karen’s flavor, but thought it was too aggressive; Bryan’s components fought on the plate; but Melissa’s flavors sang, and she was the winner.

Next, Padma said, let the games begin, and introduced the chefs’ helpers and guest judges  Niki and Carole Nakayama, Michelin star chefs and co-owners of two Michelin star restaurants. In honor of the Tokyo Olympics, the chefs would be making food inspired by Japan – a kaiseki meal of six courses, the most formal way of dining in Japan, and similar to a tasting menu. They were told kaiseki is a celebration of nature, about protecting the integrity of the ingredient, and cooking with restraint, which made full of Malarkey quake in his shoes. Given two hours to cook, each chef would make one dish, and they would be cooking for a group of elite Olympic athletes. The Nakayama sisters treated the chefs to a kaiseki meal so they could get the vibe.

Before the dinner began, Padma said both sporting events and food bring people together. She was excited to be doing something joyous and traditionally Japanese. As usual, everything looked incredibly impressive, and sounded phenomenal, except for the piece of shell in Melissa’s crab dish.

Stephanie was the winner, with a balance of flavor and ingredients. She was quite shocked, and would also be going to the Tokyo Olympics. Unfortunately, we all know how that would eventually turn out. She joked that she was probably the least athletic of the group. Karen’s duck dish caused her to be told to pack her knives and go. In her interview, she said she’d been eliminated twice for a good dish, had done things she never thought she would try, learned tenacity, and cooked her ass off. It was on to Last Chance Kitchen for her, as she told us, never say die.

They never did reveal what the huge advantage was the elimination challenge winner would receive. I can’t imagine it was the trip to the Olympics. Next time, the finale goes to Europe, and a possible bail by Brian full of Malarkey.

🏖 Life’s a Beach Again…

It looks like the world is starting to open back up. As I’ve come to say every week, whatever happened to the Shahs reunion? All continues to be quiet on the Sunset front, and I have yet to see a ransom note. Regardless, see you tomorrow with some tea and words of wisdom. Until then, stay safe, stay exercising caution, and stay puffed.

May 14, 2020 – The Custody Hearing Begins, Getting Lost In a Maze, Chefs At Camp & Alive


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

At Charlie’s, Finn tells Anna, the lab rans tests, and it was a rare case of alienitus. They quarantined the patient until last night, when his chest burst open, and out crawled a big slimy alien. Anna says, interesting, and he says, it turned out the alien was friendly, so he gave it a bath, named it E.T., and he’s bringing it home to Violet. Anna says, an alien? He says, let him guess. Her mind is on Holly. She says, you know the word frenemy? It’s cliché, but it pretty accurately describes their relationship. They were rivals and allies. They admired each other, but annoyed each other. Holly could run a con like no one else; even better than her. She had a lighter touch, and Anna was a little jealous. She knew Holly was on the other side of the world, but expected her to turn up there again one day. It’s not going to happen now. Finn says he’s sorry. Sometimes the best response to a sudden loss is a life affirming decision. She asks if he has something in mind, and he says he does.

Sasha lies on her bed, face down, fully clothed. The phone rings, and Maxie asks where she is. Don’t tell her that Sasha forgot about the photoshoot. The entire crew is waiting, and there’s no face of Deception for the cover. Sasha says she’ll be right there, and Maxie says she has five minutes, or she’s finding another model. Lulu comes to see Maxie, along with Charlotte. She asks how it’s going, and Maxie says, Sasha is late, the wardrobe mistress isn’t there, and the coffee is cold. The shoot is going to implode, and take her career with it.

Laura sits at Jax’s table at the MetroCourt, and tells him that she just came from the fundraiser breakfast. She found out he made a generous donation. He says sorry he couldn’t be there in person, but he has a meeting of his own. He’s waiting for Nina, but he’s all ears until she gets there. How did it go? She says, better than expected, thanks to him, and a couple of other generous donations. He says he’s sure her presence has something to do with the success. He’s grateful for her hard work and integrity. She says she’s only as good as the people she represents, and he tells her, don’t be modest. She’s not afraid to tell the truth, and has an amazing ability to inspire others. She says, one can only hope.

Sasha gets in the elevator, and Nina says, tough morning? Sasha says she has no idea, but Nina says, actually, she thinks she does.

Valentin meets Martin at the MetroCourt, and asks if Martin has good news. Martin thinks he’ll be well pleased at the progress. He’s acquired numerous shares from Quartermaines spread far and wide. Valentin says he doesn’t have controlling interest yet, and Martin says, not yet. Valentin says, not yet, but he’s closer than the Quartermaines realize.

Chase asks how he can help Carly, and she tells him that she’s pretty sure he’s aware that Willow and Michael got married. He says she must be very happy, and she says she regrets what the decision cost him.

Diane asks where Michael has been, and he says he was at Turning Woods; his dad was visiting Mike. She asks how Mike is doing, and he says, not great. They want to put in a feeding tube, and his dad is trying to decide. She says she’s sure he was a comfort to Sonny; however, moving forward his priority needs to be Wiley. He needs to be calm, collected, and focused. Taking away a child from its mother is difficult under the best circumstances, even a mother as awful as Nelle. He says, things may have gotten easier, and she asks, how? Willow walks in, and asks Michael how it went at Turning Woods. Michael says, rough; her? She says, the same. Diane says, what a gorgeous ring. One might say spectacular. Michael says it belonged to his great-grandmother, and now it belongs to his wife. He and Willow got married last night.

Finn says he and Anna have talked about it; it’s time to do something about it. She says, do something about what? and he says, the thing where people say I do. They can at least pick a date, and send invitations out. She says, after Violet’s party, he’s in the mood for another, and he says he’s learned to appreciate a good celebration. She tells him, he’s turning into a romantic, and he asks if that’s a good thing. She says, it’s a great thing. She looks at her phone, and says, August maybe. It gives them time to plan, and time to figure out what to wear. He says, August is perfect, and they almost kiss, but Robert interrupts. He says, isn’t this cozy? They’re acting like nothing happened, when they know something did. He tells Anna, stop running around telling people what he can and can’t be told.

Chase tells Carly that he doubts Michael wants to see him, but let Michael know he hopes they give Wiley the life he deserves. She says, that’s the plan. The custody hearing is today. He asks why she’s there instead of in court, and she says, there’s someone she needs to thank.

Nina says Sasha just broke up with Michael, and Sasha says Nina was right about her. She’s not good enough. Nina thinks the person Sasha hurt the most is herself. Sasha tells her, don’t be nice, not today, but Nina says Sasha put in the knife and she doesn’t feel like twisting it. She hopes Sasha finds peace and love, and hopes the pain she’s in is gone forever. Sasha gets out of the elevator, and Nina looks puzzled.

Maxie screams for the wardrobe mistress, and someone hands her hot coffee. Lulu says Maxie will be brilliant. She works best in a crisis. Maxie says she loves Lulu, but her pep talk isn’t working. This was her moment in the spotlight; taking a tired company from the 90s and turning it into a power brand. Does Lulu see a power brand happening? What she sees are Maxie’s dreams and plans disintegrating. Sasha comes in, and Charlotte says she thought Sasha was a model; she looks terrible. Lulu tells her to apologize, but Sasha says, Charlotte is just telling it how she sees it. Maxie asks if Sasha wants to tank Deception before it even launches, and tells the makeup artist to make his magic. Charlotte asks if she can watch, and Lulu asks if it’s okay. Sasha says, it’s time to turn this toad into a swan, and leaves with the makeup artist. Lulu tells Maxie, nothing but a straight road ahead, and Maxie says, until the next curve. She wanted to be boss, and all she can do is think of what Nina would do. Nina walks in, and says, she just asked the person she trusted most – Maxie.

Finn realizes Robert is upset, but tells him, take it down a notch. Anna says, sit down, and asks Finn to get some coffee. Robert says he talked to Mac, who said she had suspicions. Why did Mac have to tell him, and not her? She says, the WSB is still looking for the reason the ship sank, and Robert says, his shelf life has expired, so he can’t be told? She says she has no evidence of foul play. When she finds some, he’ll be the first to know. He asks what she thinks. Has she seen discrepancies in the report that point to murder?

Nina says she saw Sasha, and came to offer moral support. Maxie appreciates it, but it only makes her more nervous. Lulu asks if Nina will do her a favor. Charlotte begged to be taken to the shoot before she meets Valentin, and Lulu is late for an Invader interview. She has a deadline, and asks if Nina would mind taking Charlotte. Nina says she’d be thrilled; she was headed there anyway. She tells Maxie, just for the record, no one knows how to manage a shoot like her. She didn’t leave Crimson to second guess herself. She left to be boss. She finally decided to be a superstar, and she is. Don’t give in. Those who play small aren’t stars, and never will be. Toughen up, get the job done, and be a star.

Jax tells Laura that he’s surprised Valentin didn’t fight harder for the estate. He could have dragged it out in court for years. Laura says, maybe he realized the Cassadine estate is both a blessing and a curse. Jax says, a valuable one, and she says, don’t worry. She’s sure Valentin will find a way to make money.

Valentin asks if Martin had any trouble, and Martin says, nothing they can’t overcome. Ned is preoccupied with Brook, and Michael has the custody battle. Speaking of which, he has to get to court for it. Valentin says, Drew is dead, and Jason has no interest, but what about the children? He asks Martin to look into who’s controlling their shares.

Diane says Willow is a brave woman. She married into both the Quartermaine and Corinthos families. She’s sure Willow is aware that as individuals, they’re all a bit difficult, but as a group, they’re fearless, intelligent, and never boring. And Michael is the best of the lot. Willow says she thinks so. Diane says she doesn’t know why she didn’t think it. Of course (🍷) they’re a perfect match, and not just for a courtroom stunt. She thinks they’ll be happy and better parents for Wiley. Let her know where they’re registered. Willow says she thinks she can speak for Michael. The only gift they need is knowing Wiley is safe from Nelle.

Carly tells Chase, she used to think people who were noble were stupid, that they were suckers. Until someone she loved and respected made a sacrifice for the sake of her child. She didn’t appreciate it at the time, until she realized their sacrifice changed everything. What they did made Michael’s life better. Chase hopes it works out that way for Wiley, and she says, her too. When the judge sees them, they’ll see two people who love Wiley, and would do anything to ensure he grows up in a loving safe home. So if he ever crosses paths with the person who made it happen, let them know she’ll always cherish their selfless actions. He says he will.

Charlotte tells Valentin, they put makeup on Sasha, and she looks beautiful. Valentin says, it sounds like she had fun, and Charlotte says she used to be mad at Sasha, but now she feels bad for her. She doesn’t think Sasha felt good, but she still took pictures. He says it’s good she has compassion. It’s not good to be angry and resentful. Charlotte thanks Nina, and Nina says she’ll see Charlotte again soon. If they ask nice, maybe her papa will let them have a girls night out. Laura and Jax come by, and Laura tells Charlotte, what a surprise, and asks for a hug. Nina tells Jax, sorry she’s late. She needed to make a special delivery. Jax says it’s good to see Laura, and she says him too, and thanks him again for his donation. She leaves, and Jax asks Nina what she wanted to talk to him about. She thanks him for providing the hand holding when she was worried about Nelle. He says, no thanks are required, and she says, but she can’t lean on him forever. It’s time to take control of her own life.

Maxie says everything is under control, and Lulu says Maxie would make an excellent general if she ever choses to join the Army. Sasha asks where she’s wanted, and Maxie says she’ll leave that up to the photographer. Lulu says, while they wait, can she ask come pre-photoshoot questions? Sasha says, like what? and Lulu says, nothing hard core. Her Invader audience would like to know what it’s like to launch a new business. Where does she imagine it’s going, and where does she see herself in five years? Sasha says she hasn’t thought that far ahead. She tries to take it one day at a time. She doesn’t know what tomorrow looks like, let alone five years from now. She starts to cry, and Maxie comes in. She asks what Lulu said to her, and Lulu says she was talking about the future. Maxie says the makeup artist probably left already. Give them a moment alone. She tells Sasha that Lulu shouldn’t have asked; Sasha probably has no idea how Chase fits into her future. Sasha says she and Chase aren’t together. Maxie says, she wants to help take care of Sasha’s personal life, but not today. Today, they’re businesswomen, and their future depends on the Deception launch. She has a crew who cost a fortune sitting around waiting. Sasha needs to pull herself together. She can have a cry afterward, and Maxie will hold her hand. Maxie gave up great career for this, and doesn’t want to regret it.

Carly sees Martin, and asks where his client is. Still sleeping under a rock? Martin doesn’t believe they’ve been formally introduced and introduces himself. She says she would say it’s a pleasure, but she’d be lying. He asks if she doesn’t believe everyone is entitled to a fair hearing and worthy representation. She says she believes in justice for those who deserve it. He says he couldn’t agree more, and she says she’ll have to tell her husband they have something in common. Her husband is Michael’s father. He does know Sonny Corinthos, doesn’t he?

Sasha dabs at her eyes, and flashes back to Michael berating her and Chase. Michael says he just has one question to start. How long has this been going on?

Anna tells Robert, she has no proof either way. Finn comes back, and Robert asks if Anna thinks Holly might still be alive. She says that’s exactly the reason why she didn’t tell him; he jumps to conclusions. If he thinks she’s doubting it, he’ll go chase ghosts like he always does. Robert tells Finn, once before they thought Holly was dead in a plane crash, but she’d been in a car crash. Then she tried to return to Port Charles to recover. Finn asks, for what reason? To face death again? Anna says, a ship went down; Holly isn’t the only one missing, and Robert says, there were discrepancies enough for Anna to discuss it with his brother. Which leads him to believe she’s not sure whether Holly is dead or not. Finn tells Robert not to get his hopes up, and Robert says, take heart. In the meantime, he has a call to make.

A woman comes into the dressing room, and Sasha says, tell Maxie she’ll be ready in a minute. The woman says she didn’t come for Maxie, and gives Sasha a vial of cocaine. She says, something to get through the shoot. Sasha says she doesn’t, and the woman says she doesn’t either, except for really tough days.

Chase sees Lulu, and asks if the photoshoot is over. Lulu says, Maxie gave everyone a break; she’s trying to salvage the day. He asks, what happened? and she says, Sasha was a mess. She overslept, was hungover, and can’t stop crying. He says, sorry, and she says, it’s too late for apologies. She thought he was a decent, but he was just good at hiding what a jerk he is. Maxie and Lucy put everything into this, and won’t just lose their investment, but their reputations. He asks what he can do, and she says, Sasha is in makeup. Tell her whatever he needs to, so they can move on.

Martin says he’s well-aware of Sonny’s history, and how those who displease him disappear. He’s sure Carly has been instructed on how not to make incriminating statements. She says she has no idea what he’s talking about. Her husband is a businessman like any other. He does have powerful connections though, and an ambitious lawyer could find them lucrative. Diane walks in with Michael and Willow. He says, Michael Corinthos and Willow Tate, and Willow says, it’s Corinthos now. Martin says, a sudden marriage before a court date; he’ll have to keep an eye on her. Diane says, who is she to stand in the way of a committed, stable union?

Valentin sees Laura sitting at his table. He asks to what he owes the pleasure, and she says she’s just checking in. How was the drop off? He says, without incident. Charlotte is in school, safe, and he’s going to pick her up to go riding. Laura is sure she’s thrilled, and he says, Lulu agreed to 50/50 custody. He appreciates whatever Laura said to her. She says he can thank his daughter. She ran away when she thought she’d be separated from him. He says he intended on letting her go for her own good, but he realized to Charlotte, it looked like abandonment, and he was afraid it would have the opposite effect. He was abandoned, and look what happened to him. He doesn’t want that for Charlotte. Laura says she doesn’t either. She persuaded Lulu to compromise for Charlotte’s sake. Don’t make her regret it.

Lulu tells Maxie that she sent Chase to talk to Sasha. Maxie asks if she thinks that will work, and Lulu says she thought anything he would say was an improvement on what they had to offer. It can’t get worse. Maxie says, Sasha is still in love with Michael. She blew up her life, and if she and Chase have a mutual meltdown, this is over.

Chase asks if it’s a bad day, and Sasha asks what he’s doing there. He says Carly came by to say how grateful she was for what they did. She asks if Carly admitted she knew, and he says, not in so many words. As hard as it’s been, Carly appreciates what she called their sacrifice. Sasha admits, she didn’t think it would be this hard, and he says, he didn’t either.

Nina tells Jax, she ran into Sasha. She’s not having a good morning, and Nina felt the need to comfort her. He says it doesn’t surprise him. Did she? She says she tried. She guesses Sasha is good. She dropped in on Deception, and Maxie was drowning in self-doubt, and she had the impulse to build Maxie’s confidence, and Charlotte still needs her. He says she’s like a second mother. She says, her point being, she told him that she didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole and look for her daughter. Denying her feelings didn’t help. He says, it’s not something you get over, and asks if she wants him to help find her child. She says, absolutely not.

In the courtroom, Diane asks what Carly said to Martin, and Carly says she was reminding him of who Michael’s father was. Diane says Carly can’t intimidate him. He’s going to do his level best to goad her, and show the judge how much she despises Nelle. He’s going to paint her as a domineering and controlling woman, who wants to wrest a son from his loving mother. Don’t let him. Martin comes in, and Diane says, underneath that southern charm is a shark ready for blood. Don’t forget. The judge arrives, and the bailiff says, the Honorable Judge Lowe is presiding, Willow asks Michael, where is Nelle? Everyone waits.

Finn says he’s never seen Robert so upset, and Anna says, he and Holly had a unique relationship. They’d fight and make up; she’d leave, and he’d go after her. He’s never stopped loving her. Finn says, that’s why Robert needs her to be alive, and she says she’s afraid he’ll lose himself in this desperate quest to find her. He asks if she thinks there’s a chance, but she says she doesn’t know. There’s always a question. Until her body is discovered, Holly isn’t gone.

Chase tells Sasha, when Michael is granted full custody, everything they did will be worth it. She says she’s been telling herself that, and he says, the truth is, Michael and Willow might never know the part they played, but they did a good thing. She says, he’s coping better than she is, and he asks if she’s kidding him. He could barely get out of bed. The Chief of Detectives called, looking for him. All he can thinks about is Willow’s smile and the sound of her voice. Sasha knows how he feels. She can’t get out of her own head, and now she’s going to relinquish her dream. He tells her, make the dream start happening today. She says, tell Maxie tell she’ll be right out. He leaves and she looks at herself in the mirror.

Laura says, it’s been proven Valentin isn’t a Cassadine, and he asks, what’s her point? She asks if Nikolas and Spencer are free of retribution. He says he’s not a fan of Nikolas, but he has no plans for that. They’re both safe. She says he’s been given a second chance. It’s rare, and right now he can decide who he wants to be. He says he won’t argue with that, and she says she hopes he uses it wisely, and becomes the man he was meant to be. He thanks her, and asks who that is exactly. She says, a man who puts his family first, before money and power. He asks if she thinks he could be that man, and she says, the question is, does he want to be?

Maxie tells Chase, Sasha needs to be at 100%; make that 200%. Is she okay? He says he thinks so, and she says, that doesn’t sound like 300%. He says he explained what matters, and she says it’s hard to believe he’s the same guy she thought he was; Lulu was right. Sasha comes out, and says, it’s time to make their dream come true with the face that launched a million sales for Deception. Maxie tells Chase, get out, and tells Sasha that she looks gorgeous. We see the makeup table, and the vial is empty. Brilliant of her to just leave it sitting there.

Nina tells Jax, she appreciates the offer, but she doesn’t need him or anyone else undertaking a journey that should be hers. If her daughter is out there, she’ll sure as hell find her herself.

On the phone in the hallway, Martin tells Nelle that he can’t stall any longer. Get here now. He goes back in, and thanks the judge, assuring him Nelle will be there soon, and sends her deepest apologies. Diane tells Michael and Willow not to get ahead of themselves. Michael asks what the best case is if Nelle doesn’t show, and she says, the judge already has the arguments. He could decide to rule in Michael’s favor if Nelle doesn’t show soon. Judge Lowe asks if Martin’s client is in the courthouse, and Martin says he’s sure she is. The judge says he has a busy calendar, and they’ve waited long enough.

Nelle dashes into the courtroom, wearing a wedding dress, and carrying a bouquet. She says she’s sorry she’s late. The most incredible thing happened. She shows everyone her ring.

On Monday, TJ tells Molly that they have to work on their life, Nelle introduces her new husband, Cyrus meets Ava, and Jordan tells Sonny to stay out of her investigation.

The Real Housewives of New York

Leah meets Dorinda, Sonja, and LuAnn, at a bench in the park. Elsewhere in the park, Sonja and Ramona meet for a walk. Tinsley goes to boxing training with instructor Mike. He asks how Tinsley is, and she says, good, but not great. He says, that’s better than last time, and we flash back to Tinsley weeping and overwhelmed, saying she wants to live her best life. She  tells him that she’s in a better place, and she’s single now. In her interview, she says, Mike isn’t easy to talk to. He forces her to fight with her fists and her words. She tells him there’s tension with Dorinda over nothing. Dorinda is saying Tinsley isn’t being open. Mike asks, where do they get these names from? In Tinsley’s interview, she says she doesn’t know where to go with Dorinda. She wants it to be pleasant, but Dorinda likes to fight. Mike asks if they had a fight, and what happened.

Dorinda tells LuAnn and Leah that she’s done with Tinsley. Tinsley is like a mint in her mouth; gone. In Leah’s interview, she says for someone Dorinda isn’t interested in, she spends a lot of time talking about Tinsley.

Tinsley tells Mike, they all jump in, and she can’t say anything. He tells her, he’s Dorito, and they’re going to box. Ha-ha! Loving Mike. He punches at Tinsley, and she cringes. He tells her, take it like a doormat. He asks why she’s unhappy, and she says she’s not. He wonders if that’s why she was crying the last time she was there, and she says she’s confused. She tells Mike, she’s done.

LuAnn tells Dorinda that Tinsley has an overbearing mother from the South, and she needs to be accepted for who she is.

Ramona tells Sonja, Dorinda is hard on Tinsley. She thinks something is going on with Dorinda, and Sonja suggests she’s jealous. In Sonja’s interview, she says, Tinsley is taken care of, and Rich took care of Dorinda. She misses that life. Ramona says, they’re all devoid of partners now, and Dorinda misses the past. Sonja says, when John tries to help Dorinda, she tells him she’s got this. It’s a different relationship, and her time with Richard was cut short. In Ramona’s interview, she says comparing Richard and John is like comparing apples and oranges. Richard graduated from Harvard, and she doesn’t know if John even graduated from anywhere.

Mike tells Tinsley that she has a down face. What’s the antidote? WTF does she want to do? Tinsley says she doesn’t know, but he says she’s known all along. She’s a legend. There will never be another Tinsdale. She says there isn’t one to begin with. Her name is Tinsley. I don’t think she gets his humor. She certainly doesn’t get that you have to hit back in boxing.

LuAnn visits Leah’s apartment. In Leah’s interview, she says she and LuAnn have shared similar obstacles, and are kindred spirits. LuAnn says she brought her food. She’s starving and thought Leah might be hungry. In LuAnn’s interview, a producer asks what she thinks of Leah’s apartment, and LuAnn asks if they really want to know, and laughs. She tells Leah, it’s really cool. Leah shows LuAnn around, and says, since Kier is only there half the time, she took all the closets. In her interview, LuAnn adds that she loves how humble Leah is. In Leah’s interview, she says, most people are impressed, unless they’re in the 1%. She’s not, and there’s no shame in that. It’s not about the size, it’s about the vibe. She says she heard LuAnn drank at the comedy show, and LuAnn says she thought it was water, and she was thirsty, but it was vodka. She took two sips or three, and went on stage. She was okay, but she never had a big problem. Except for falling into a bush on a crazy girls trip. We flash back to the gift that keeps on giving. LuAnn says she feels if she wants a drink at this point, she can. Leah says that’s how she feels too. For years, she didn’t drink because she’d been told it was death in a bottle, but she doesn’t believe it. She’s been in hell when she wasn’t drinking, with being over-medicated and in toxic relationships. In Leah’s interview, she says, you’re told you have no control, and it’s not empowering; it’s bullsh*t. It’s just a drink. What’s it going to do? We flash back to a naked Leah flinging tiki torches around, and yelling at Sonja. Leah tells LuAnn, she was in a different place when she stopped, and she’s done a lot of work on herself. LuAnn says she has to give herself a break. She’s been listening to herself, and it feels nice to give herself permission to say what she wants. She has a sense of control. In her interview, LuAnn says she lives moment by moment, and in that moment, she wanted vodka. It’s not a big deal. She’s taken off the life jacket, and she’s getting in the pool with the ladies. I used to work for Al-Anon, and I keep thinking of their pamphlet, A Merry-go-round Named Denial. LuAnn asks if Leah saw the Page Six article about Dorinda.

Sonja sees Dorinda on a bench in the park, and asks about the article. Dorinda brings it up on her phone, and it says she’s taking a break from long time boyfriend John. Dorinda wonders if Ramona planted it. In her interview, Dorinda says break-ups are terrible, but she had to do what was best for herself. Her expectation levels have grown, and she needs to find the right partner whose willing to be engaged that way. She tells Sonja there was no fight, but John feels bad because they love each other. She just feels like she’s grown so fast.

The article makes the rounds. LuAnn tells Leah, Dorinda needed John; he was there to pick up the pieces, and helped her at a bad time. She has nothing against him, but Dorinda feels like she’s outgrown him. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, it’s weird to find out about it on Page Six. In Leah’s interview, she says she knows more about Richard than she does about John. What does that say? In Sonya’s interview, she says, now Dorinda is single like the rest of them. In Ramona’s interview, she says she knew before Dorinda did. She’s not surprised. In Tinsley’s interview, she says, them finding out on Page Six, after Dorinda made such a big deal about sharing things makes her a hypocrite. Sonja tells Dorinda that they need to take care of themselves. Dorinda says she needs a house cat rather than one where, when the door opens, he dashes out. LuAnn thinks they need to do something to take Dorinda’s mind off of the breakup. She knows an apple picking place. In her interview, LuAnn says they need to take full advantage of the breakup, and forget the city for a day. She tells Leah that she needs a bigger coffee table.

The women get in a luxury van, and Ramona she’s excited for the trip. LuAnn says, it’s an orchard. They’re going to have lunch by the pumpkin patch, and there’s a corn maze, pumpkin picking, a hayride, and they’ll have a winery tasting later. There’s also a store that sells pies and apple cider donuts. It’s a perfect day for it. Ramona says, it’s gorgeous. In Sonya’s interview, she says she’s excited to be with the girls. She’s not excited to drink more wine though. She just wants to have a healthy day.

The van arrives at Weed Orchards and Winery. Tinsley says, it’s never too early for wine. It’s called breakfast wine, and it’s normal. Funny. I’ve never heard of it. Dorinda gets excited about the petting zoo. Ramona says only Tinsley would wear heels to an orchard. Dorinda brings out a glass that’s almost as big as she is, and says they’re just going to have one glass. In her interview, Sonja says she wasn’t of the mindset to drink, but she’s with her girls, so hell to the no. She’s not missing out. They have lunch, and Ramona toasts to good girlfriends. I’m guessing those girlfriends must be on some other show. Sonja takes pictures, and Ramona asks Dorinda what’s going on with John. Dorinda says she’s not the person that John met; she’s changed. Ramona says Dorinda was broken when they met. Dorinda says it’s been a good process. It made her reevaluate things. In her interview, she says, going through the process with the house flooding, and making the decision about John, she was able to mourn Richard for the first time. Hannah is out of the house, and she’s decided to be alone for the first time, and she’s okay with it. She tells the women, it’s not easy to open herself up to criticism, and Tinsley mumbles, it’s called sharing. In her interview, she calls bullsh*t. Tinsley tells Dorinda that saying she might get judged makes her a hypocrite, and Dorinda tells Tinsley, don’t comment. She has gum that’s lasted longer than Tinsley’s relationships. She calls Tinsley invisible, and in Ramona’s interview, she says, Dorinda has outbursts of anger, but her anger at Tinsley is the worst. Elyse wants them to say something nice about each other. In her interview, Ramona thinks Dorinda is using Tinsley as a punching bag to be so vicious, but she’s glad, since she doesn’t want it to happen to her. Nice. Dorinda makes fun of Tinsley crying, and Tinsley says Dorinda sounds like a bully and mean. In Leah’s interview, she says, if this is Dorinda when she’s not interested in Tinsley, what does Dorinda being interested in Tinsley look like? She tells Dorinda, they should be holding each other up, not bringing each other down, but Dorinda says she can’t deal with dumbness. I guess she can’t deal with a dictionary either, since I assume she means stupidity and not being mute. Tinsley says Dorinda is a bully, and Dorinda says, don’t be judging her. Tinsley says she doesn’t judge Dorinda, and Ramona tells Tinsley, calm down. Tinsley, who has moved into screeching, says, let her finish. Dorinda sarcastically says she’s scared, and asks LuAnn to protect her. Sonja asks why Tinsley is getting in on the conversation, because she’s probably too drunk already to understand what’s going on outside of the world in her head. Tinsley says, for someone who doesn’t care about her, Dorinda says a lot of sh*t about her. She doesn’t like being ganged up on. She leaves the table, and LuAnn follows. She tells Tinsley not to cry. She’s been there, and don’t let them see you cry. Tinsley says she can’t say anything without Dorinda saying something.

Elyse thinks Dorinda is grieving, and Dorinda tells Elyse to stop analyzing her. She’s not mean or unkind. Um… In Elyse’s interview, she says she’s not analyzing Dorinda; she’s frightened of Dorinda. You don’t have to be a psychologist to see she’s mean. Tinsley tells LuAnn that she’s suffered, and if she’s yelling, it’s because she’s upset. LuAnn says Dorinda has a lot of anger toward Tinsley, but she doesn’t know why. Dorinda tells Leah that Tinsley should just be compassionate, and talk to her some other time. She knew she was triggering Dorinda, saying she was being a bitch. If Tinsley wants a bitch, she’s got one. In Leah’s interview, she says, the group, especially Dorinda, is hard on Tinsley for not being forthcoming, but she can understand why Tinsley would mutter under her breath. Leah says they all have kids, which is something Tinsley wants. Dorinda says she buried a husband – like we don’t already know – and she wanted to die. Leah says she got a family, and was loved. Dorinda says, it was a terrible day, and starts to cry. Leah sits next to her, and says she and Tinsley have nothing in common; she gets it. Dorinda wails that she came to the realization that she’s 55, and this is not what she planned. Honey, I’ve got news for you, most of our lives aren’t what we planned. She says she did everything right. She’s a good mother, and not dishonest, and this is what she gets. In her interview, Leah says she has the utmost sympathy, but what does that have to do with Tinsley? Dorinda says she almost became an alcoholic (almost became?), and realized she didn’t like who she saw in the mirror. Leah says she likes Dorinda because she’s real. LuAnn says they’re going on a hayride if it kills them.

Tinsley talks to herself as she changes into sneakers, and says every time she tries, she’s squashed, and has to sit in the corner. Dorinda says, it’s the best time she’s ever had, and talks to the goats. Now I’m confused. Tinsley tells Leah that she wants to climb a tree. She wonders if they’re allowed, and Leah says, who cares? No one will know. Tinsley asks if climbing trees solves problems, and Leah says, it does. In her interview, Leah says, she’d rather be smoking trees, but the Weed Orchard is apparently just an orchard. Tinsley climbs up, and says she can see the world. In her interview, she says she’s mad at herself for letting Dorinda get to her, and getting breaking down crying mad. She let Dorinda rile her up. LuAnn comes along, and says they need to find the girls for the hayride.

They sit in the wagon, and after they get going, Sonja demands to go faster. LuAnn says this was just a way to get them off the lunch table; they’re going to a corn maze. Dorinda says she doesn’t need a maze. In Ramona’s interview, she says, who needs to get more lost? When they get there, Sonja confuses eggplants for pot plants. She tries chatting up the owner, but he’s not having it. Elyse, Ramona, and Dorinda head into the maze, and a woman who works there says they’re going the wrong way. LuAnn asks, which way is the right one? and goes in with Tinsley, Sonja, and Leah. Sonja shucks some corn, and puts it in her bag, saying she’s friends with the owner. LuAnn say she doesn’t know where the hell she’s going, and Sonja wonders what the goal is. She says, if they follow LuAnn, they’ll never get out. Sonja squats to pee, and Leah says she’s fertilizing the soil. LuAnn suggests holding it, but Leah says it’s not good for your bladder. LuAnn doesn’t know how good corn shucks are for it either. In her interview, Lean says, there are two Sonja’s. Miss Morgan, who lives on the Upper East Side, hates tattoos, and comes from old money; and turnip Sonja, who she loves. She has the feeling if both Sonjas met, they wouldn’t like each other. Dorinda says, just lose Tinsley. She’d be good as a corn stalk. My God, that woman is obsessed. In Dorinda’s interview, she says the maze is fun, but they can get out any time now. It’s time to get back to the maze of drinks. She and her group find a gazebo, and Dorinda says they’ll wait until they’re rescued.

On the way back, Sonja asks the owner how much money he makes. Dorinda thanks Ramona for listening, and Ramona say Dorinda is in pain. So was Mario. The reason he cheated was because he felt inadequate. In Ramona’s interview, she says, Dorinda needs to focus on herself, not the reason her relationship with John is over. It’s okay to move on. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, endings are painful, but sometimes breakups are good, healthy, and needed. It’s easy to fall back into old habits, and then what? She tells Ramona that John will always have a seat at her dinner table. She never wants someone to say their life was less than because of her (except Tinsley?). She wants them to say their life was better for having met her. Ramona says they blessed each other’s lives, and in her interview, says, it’s something Dorinda needs to work out. She’s suffering.

Back at the main house, the women have some fruit, cheese, and wine. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, when Sonja drinks, she loses it, and becomes a caricature of herself. Ramona says Sonja is needy, and asks when was the last time she had sex? Sonja says she got pounded last night. They discuss d*ck pics, and in LuAnn’s interview, she says she doesn’t like to shop online. She likes to touch and feel things, so d*ck pics don’t do it for her. Tinsley asks why it has to just be about that; what about loving each other? Sonja says Tinsley would do anything for d*ck if it brings her a bracelet. Why Tinsley doesn’t haul off and smack Sonja is beyond me. Elyse says when she’s not in a relationship, she misses being held, and Sonja says they all want sex. LuAnn says, it’s time to go.

Next time, the women take an exercise class and do some Russian banya (it’s like a sauna plus), Ramona says Dorinda has a pattern, and Dorinda gets nasty with Ramona.

👨🏾‍🍳 On Top Chef, everyone was bummed about Kevin leaving, and we flashed back on his moments. The chefs were taken to a summer camp, in the mountains outside of L.A., where Padma welcomed them, and introduced guest judge Kelsey Barnard Clark, who was the Top Chef Kentucky winner. Padma said that being out in nature made her excited for grilling season to begin. In honor of summer, the Quickfire challenge was to make a dish featuring Bush beans, choosing from a variety of options. Kelsey told them, get creative, have fun, and make a delicious meal. The winner would get $10K, courtesy of Bush beans. The chefs had thirty minutes. Lee Anne came out the winner for how she incorporated the beans in her dish, and her chef skills.

Padma told the chefs, they were not alone. A mom’s group was there for a weekend away from their kids, and to act like kids, and they were to send them off with full bellies and an unforgettable experience. The chefs were to work together to create a Sunday brunch buffet for 200 mothers. Another previous winner, Brook Williamson, would also be a guest judge. Kelsey wanted an impressive buffet, and Padma said each of them had to make two dishes. They had four hours to prep and cook for a 9 am meal, using whatever ingredients the camp had. Beforehand, they got to have some downtime with camp activities, like zip lining and bungie jumping.

For the 9 o’clock brunch, the chefs had to get up at 4 am. Lee Anne said she couldn’t sleep, hearing the karaoke going on below. They were a little disappointed in the lack of diversity in the camp pantry. Karen said there wasn’t much diversity and not a lot of ingredients. Melissa said it was straight up Hunger Games.

Bryan, Geoffrey, and Karen had the best dishes, and Karen came out the winner. The least favorite dishes came from Lee Anne, Melissa, and Brian full of Malarkey. Tom said they were at the place in the competition where mental mistakes start to happen. Lee Anne had to pack her knives and go, but she said it wasn’t over, since shed crushed it before in Last Chance Kitchen. That $10K probably wasn’t a bad consolation prize either. In her interview, she said she was moving into the next phase of her career, and life. After being a mom for five years, she was dusting off the cobwebs.

Next time, the chefs cook for Olympic athletes, and (gasp!) a piece of shell is found in the crab.

😵 Sleepwalking…

I’m way tired, since my sick child dog is back from the hospital, and needs a lot of care right now, so I’m saving the tea for tomorrow. The Shahs reunion remains a mystery, and I’m starting to wonder if they ever really existed. So for now, stay safe, stay keeping it real, and stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.

May 7, 2020 – The Plan Is In Motion, the Curse Is Lifted, Warring Restaurants, Beverly Hills Drama, Breaking the Wall, a Surprise For Jax, Tucci’s Negroni, Happy Dog & Loaf’s Light


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

You guessed it. I missed the beginning. Why break a streak? There was mostly a lot of backtracking. The only new news was, Laura and Carly meet at the MetroCourt, and Finn runs into Willow at the hospital.

Laura says she knows Carly is busy, and the Nurses Ball is just around the corner. Carly says, Michael’s custody case is tomorrow. She’s done everything she can to strengthen it, and hopes it’s enough.

Trina sees Portia at the hospital, and Portia asks how the movie was. Trina says the movie was fine, but the four of them being together was awesome. Portia wonders why she’s back. She thought Josslyn’s driver would take Trina home. Trina says they offered, but she wanted to drive back with Portia. Doesn’t that make her a thoughtful daughter? Portia says, it does, unless she’s worried about not being safe. Then it makes her anxious.

Jason and Sonny meet Curtis at the pier. Sonny says they were giving Cyrus room to let TJ go, and Curtis says, all eyes are on Jordan now. Sonny asks how TJ is, and Curtis says, good; he’s back at work. Jason asks how TJ’s memory about the kidnapping is, and Curtis flashes back to TJ telling him and Jordan about being abducted, and telling Chase that he didn’t get a good look at them. Curtis tells Jason and Sonny, it’s sketchy, and Sonny says, that’s a good thing. The less TJ remembers, the safer he is from Cyrus.

Mac shows up at Jordan’s office, and says he’s been working non-stop on TJ’s kidnapping. Jordan says she appreciates it, and asks how it’s going. Mac flashes back to TJ telling him about how he heard a train, the basement was damp, and he also thought there was construction in the area. Mac says he spoke to TJ this morning, and TJ remembered a few more details. He’s hoping to piece it together, and narrow down the area. She asks if he’s had any luck, and he says he’s getting closer. There are still a lot of questions, and he’s hoping she can point him toward the answers.

Laura says, Nelle is dangerous, isn’t she? and Carly says, she’s a relentless nightmare. Carly flashes back to confronting Nelle about pretending she slept with Sonny; Nelle causing Carly to think she was being haunted by Morgan; and Nelle telling Carly she has 5% of the ELQ shares, and a room at the Quartermaines, and saying, Carly doesn’t know what she can do to blow Carly’s entire world apart. Carly remembers Nelle saying Michael was abusive, that she’s never going to see her grandchild, and Carly’s mom is going to lose her license. She flashes back to Nelle telling her about how they met when Nelle was a child, and Carly trying to get her to do the right thing, but Nelle saying she’s going to bankrupt the hospital, and it’s all Carly’s fault. Laura says, it’s not just Michael that Nelle wants to bring down. She’s filed a lawsuit against GH. Carly says, Nelle did that to force Michael into giving her custody; it’s just collateral damage. Laura says she doesn’t think the hospital’s insurance is going to cover it. They see Cyrus at the bar, and Carly says, you’ve got to be kidding her. Laura can’t believe he’d have the nerve to set foot in Carly’s establishment. Carly says, if it were up to her, he’d still be in Pentenville.

Curtis says, from what he can tell, the police department found nothing that links Cyrus to TJ, although Mac is getting closer. Sonny says, it doesn’t surprise him. It’s a high-profile case, and Mac is the Chief of Detectives. Curtis says, Mac is making it his personal mission to find out. We flash back to Mac telling Jordan where he thinks TJ was held, and suggesting they get surveillance footage from the bodega on the corner. Curtis says, if he finds out… Jason says, it will put TJ and Jordan in danger. Sonny asks where Jordan is, and Curtis says, she’s not coming. She doesn’t even know the meeting is happening. Sonny asks, why not? and Curtis says he’s not sure Jordan is ready to talk about what needs to happen next, but he sure as hell is.

Jordan asks what Mac is thinking, and Mac says he doesn’t understand why Jordan was sent text messages that seemed to be from TJ. We flash back to Jordan getting the messages, and Curtis saying that TJ is just taking some space. Mac wonders, why go through the trouble of convincing her that TJ is safe?

Finn tells Willow that he knows his brother hurt her. There’s no excuse, but it took courage for him to face her, and own up to what he did. She says he sounds proud, but he says, after what Chase did, he wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see him again, but he did talk to her and explain. She says she saw him when she went to get her things. She knows he’s sorry. She is too, but that doesn’t change anything. Sasha comes out of the elevator, holding a bloody towel to her nose, and Michael is with her. He looks sheepishly at Willow.

Laura tells Carly, Nelle is claiming the head of the hospital and a senior staff member conspired to give Wiley surgery without permission. We flash back to Nelle saying she didn’t sign the form, and everyone else saying she did. Laura says, charges like that aren’t covered by insurance. If the hospital did have to pay, along with all the negative press that would come with it, she’s not sure GH would survive. Cyrus approaches their table, and says, it does sound dire.

Mac wonders, why no ransom? Why did they want Jordan to think TJ was just letting off steam? Jordan says she’s wondered herself. Maybe they were biding their time. He says, for what? She wishes she knew. TJ didn’t hear them talking, so unless he remembered… We flash back to TJ saying he was chloroformed before he could identify anyone. (I just thought, what about the dude with the Kentucky ringtone? Didn’t TJ interact with him? Why didn’t Mac ask for a description?) Mac says nothing like that has happened, and she says, it sounds like he has a theory. Lay it on her.

Curtis says, the less he knows about Sonny’s methods, the better. Jordan is the Police Commissioner, and can’t be near what happens next. Once she threw Taggert and the others under the bus, and Cyrus’s sentence was vacated, they were supposed to handle him. It’s how Sonny maintains peace and protects his loved ones. Sonny says, it is, and Curtis says, with all due respect, what’s taking so long?

Portia says she knows Trina is still processing everything. It takes time, but constantly worrying about her isn’t going to help. Trina says she just wants to spend extra time together. Portia asks if Trina is sure it’s not because she doesn’t want to be home alone, and Trina admits she’s right. She says she’d rather wait with Portia. Portia says, it’s okay. What happened to Trina’s father was the exception, not the rule. The police department keeps the town safe. Trina asks how she can say that. Jordan is the Commissioner, and threw her dad under the bus. We flash back to Jordan telling Trina about the undercover operative, and Taggert tampering with evidence to make sure Cyrus was found guilty. Trina asks Portia how she can trust anything that has to do with Jordan?

Carly tells Cyrus, they were having a private conversation. He says he didn’t mean to interrupt, and Laura says, and yet he has. He says, after decades of hearing almost nothing but male voices, forgive him for being drawn to the siren song of female conversation. He’s sorry; however… Laura says, an apology followed by a however, and he says, the future of General Hospital is a matter that concerns everyone in Port Charles. Laura says, she’ll keep everyone posted, and he says, knowing her steady hand is at the reins remediates his concern. Carly asks if she missed the part where he told her what he wanted, and Cyrus sits down. He says he wanted to know her and Sonny’s address, so he can invite them to his housewarming party. They’ve been so gracious in welcoming him, he’d like to return the gesture.

Jason understands Curtis’s concern, but they have to move carefully, and not rush in. They both know that if they force it, things can go sideways, and who knows how it will play out. Curtis says he has a family now, and all he can think about are Trina and Cameron, and how one bullet was all that was separating them from life and death. He flashes back to pulling Trina out of the warehouse, and says, he hears Trina calling out for the father he couldn’t save. Sonny says, it couldn’t happen at a worse time for all of them. Curtis says, Stella told him what’s going on with Sonny’s father, and Sonny says Curtis knows he wants to neutralize Cyrus as much as he does. He’s trying to solve the problem, and doing everything he can. Curtis has his word. The plan is already in motion.

Mac tells Jordan, without a ransom demand, the kidnappers weren’t motivated by financial gain. The only other reason would be to gain leverage, but the only person connected to TJ with power and influence is Jordan. She says, TJ was returned, and he asks if any demands were made. Jordan flashes back to meeting with Cyrus in prison, Harmony’s subsequent visit with Cyrus’s instructions, and finally admitting to Sonny what’s going on. She remembers Sonny saying she told him Cyrus came to Port Charles for personal reasons, and that means her. She tells Mac, nothing. He tells her that he’s grateful for the job. He appreciates her trusting him, and has come to think of her as a friend, as well as a boss. Jordan says, the feeling is mutual, and he says if she ever wants to talk, about the job or anything else, he’s there.

Willow asks, what happened? and Sasha says she just has a bloody nose. Finn says he’ll have a look, and takes her into an examining room. Willow asks if Michael wants to talk about it. He says he and Brook ran into Chase and Sasha at the boxing gym. Tempers flared, and Brook accidentally punched Sasha. We flash back to Brook accusing Sasha of being too shallow to see Michael for who he is, and saying she could have been sitting pretty, then punching her. Willow asks, if Chase was there, why didn’t he drive Sasha?

Carly tells Cyrus, it’s thoughtful of him to include them, but they have a lot going on. Their plate is full, and their calendar is booked. He says, what a pity. He’d like to send one anyway, in case the day opens up. She says he can send it there or the coffee warehouse; he knows that address. We flash back to the ambush at the warehouse, and he says, why would he? She says, it’s a business address. She’s sure it’s as easy to find as a pub in Brooklyn. He says now she’s making him hungry for a pastrami sandwich. He can’t remember the last time he had one. Do they serve them there? She says, no; they don’t. He sighs, and says he hopes Laura’s schedule is a bit more accommodating. Laura says, the city is going through a major crimewave, and he says, tragic stuff. He hopes she gets a handle on it soon. She says, in the meantime, it’s keeping her busy, so she’ll have to pass. He says, it’s a shame. He was hoping the both of them could attend; or rather, all three of them. He doesn’t know if Sonny told Carly – he knows Sonny doesn’t like to burden her with the details of coffee importing – but he and Sonny reached an understanding. Laura says, about what? and he says, a conflict of interest, but it’s all cleared up. He’s planning on making a memorable debut in Port Charles. Laura says, he’s a memorable guy, and he says, likewise; they both are. They can expect invitations. He certainly knows where Laura lives. Carly says, it’s a matter of public record, but he makes it sound ominous. He says, it’s unintentional. He starts to leave, and says he’ll put them both on his Christmas card list. Laura tells Carly, raincheck? and Carly says, absolutely.

Curtis asks what he needs to do, and Jason says, keep doing what he’s doing; keep living his life. Curtis says, maintaining cover, and Jason says, the best thing to do is put on a normal front. What they have in mind takes time. Curtis says, how much time? and Sonny says, it depends. Jason says, if they attack now, while Cyrus is parading around town acting like the wronged party, it could draw unwanted attention. Sonny says, it’s the last thing they need. Curtis says, so he’s waiting for better optics? Sonny says, he and Cyrus reached a truce. Curtis says, which means? Sonny says, they dig in and play nice, until they find the right moment to act. Curtis flashes back to Jordan wondering if she should confess. He says while Sonny tries to thread a very narrow needle, Jordan is stuck on a tightrope.

Jordan says she appreciates Mac’s loyalty and friendship. He’s glad to hear it, and she says there’s nothing about the kidnapping she’s not telling him. He hopes she’s not offended, and she says she knows how it looks from his end, and that he had to ask. She’s glad to have the right man on the case, and has every confidence that he’ll get to the bottom of the kidnapping. Mac says he’ll stay on it until he does.

Curtis goes to Jordan’s office. She says, it’s good to see him, and kisses him. He asks if she thinks she can drop everything and join him for a late dinner. She says she was wrapping things up, but she wants to check on TJ at the hospital. He asks if everything is okay, and she says, it’s fine, but it will be better once she sees him. They leave, and Mac watches.

Finn checks Sasha’s nose, and says, good news; it’s not broken. She’ll want to put ice on it to keep the swelling down. She says, so much for the new face of Deception. They haven’t even launched yet. She’s glad the paparazzi weren’t there to see it. She knows Chase told Finn, and he knows everything. Finn says he wanted Chase to walk away from a well-intentioned disaster before it got worse. He flashes back to telling Chase, it’s not fair to Willow that her next decision is based on a lie; fix it. He tells Sasha, for what it’s worth, he thinks they should both come clean. She says, then what? Everyone is happy? He says, that sounds better than what they’re doing now. She says, it would be for her and Chase, but Michael and Willow will never be happy if Nelle gets Wiley.

Portia says she doesn’t like it any more than Trina does, but Trina’s father trusted Jordan. Trina says, clearly, he shouldn’t have, but Portia says, it’s not their call. Even if they don’t know the reason, that should count for something. Trina says, maybe. She’ll get back to Portia on that. Portia says they can agree Trina’s father would want her to move forward, and focus on her future, not his past. Trina says he wanted to watch her grow up. Now he doesn’t get what he wants. It’s not fair. Portia hugs her, and says she knows.

Sonny goes the MetroCourt, and Carly says he just missed Cyrus. He asks if there were any problems, and she says Cyrus was pretending to be nice, and denying he was a threat. Sonny asks what she means, and she says Cyrus wanted their address, so he could invite them to his house warming. She told him that he already had it, since he tried to gun them down. Then he invited Laura, making it clear that he knew her address. Sonny says he’s there now, and she asks, how much longer is Port Charles going to have to endure this guy? 

Portia asks if Trina feels better, and Trina says, a little bit. Because she has a great mom, not because she despises Jordan any less. Portia says, Jordan’s not the enemy. Trina says, no, she isn’t. He is. Cyrus walks toward them, and Trina stomps up to him. She says she knows who he is, and he says he’s so sorry to hear about her father’s death. She tells him that he doesn’t sound sorry. He sounds like someone who needs to be stopped. He says, it’s a misunderstanding. Curtis and Jordan arrive, and Curtis tells Cyrus, back off. Stay the hell away from her.

Finn tells Sasha, there will be some bruising, but no scar. She thanks him, and says she knows he’s worried about her and Chase, but they know what they’re doing. He tells her, if she says so. He noticed how she looked at Michael. She says she wasn’t looking any kind of way at him, and Finn says, she loves Michael, and Chase loves Willow. Is the best solution really to play God with everyone’s life?

Michael tells Willow that he wasn’t going to make Sasha call a Ride Share. Chase was reading Brook the riot act, so he drove her. It’s hard, turning off the feelings. She says she knows. Tomorrow is Wiley’s custody hearing, and they have to be ready. He says, they will be.

Carly asks Sonny, remember the time they got married so she couldn’t testify against him? He says, which one? and she says, either one. Is there anything she needs to know? He says, for now it’s best… and she says, to wait until she needs to know. She wants him to promise her he’s going to end it, and he says he promises. She asks, when? and he flashes back to making Cyrus an offer. Sonny tells him, he can live there, but he can’t move his merchandise through Sonny’s territory. Cyrus says, they have a deal, and they shake hands. Afterward, he tells Jason, they’re buying time. When Cyrus stops looking at him out of the corner of his eye, they’ll take him out. He tells Carly, sooner than their friend Cyrus thinks.

Mac sees Laura, and asks if she’s looking for the Commissioner. Laura asks if she’s in, and he says they both missed her. He has some things for her to sign, but it can wait until morning; closed cases. Can he help her? She says, not unless he can get rid of Cyrus for her.

Cyrus says he doesn’t believe he and Curtis have been introduced. Curtis says Cyrus knows damn well who he is. He’s Jordan’s husband. And he knows who Cyrus is; he knows everything about him. Play his game somewhere else, and stay away from Trina and Portia. Understand?

On Monday, Nelle is prepared to make Julian a generous offer, Chase wonders who will help Brook if her father doesn’t, Finn asks someone to meet him at The Rib, and Willow asks Michael if he can marry a women who will probably never be in love with him. The digital guide lists tomorrow’s show as the one from November 27, 2018.

The Real Housewives of New York City

LuAnn goes to Tavern on the Green to meet Jacques, who is still pretty cute. In her interview, LuAnn says they were together for four and a half years. She’d just gotten divorced and her kids were teenagers. We flash back to that time, and she says they have a healthy relationship, and check in with each other. Now he’s engaged, and she’s happy that he’s happy. She tells Jacques that her probation is over, and it feels good to move forward. It’s been two years. He asks, what’s next? and she says she’s taking it day by day. She’s with the girls a lot, and they like to drink, but she promised herself that she’s not going to right now. She hasn’t decided either way, but she’s wondering if can have wine with dinner. (Yep. It’s always wine with dinner.) Jacques says, he thinks a glass of red wine is fine, if she can manage to have one. She says, not two? And he says, one. One or none. He’s not worried though, and says, whatever she decides will be the plan and she’ll follow it. In LuAnn’s interview, she says having his support makes her happy. He knows her well, and he’ll have her back no matter what she decides. She recently got involved with a podcast called Chanel in the City, and she’s co-hosting an event featuring comedy. Jacques recently started doing stand-up. She’s researching material for Marry-F***-Kill, and asked him to make a guest appearance. She tells him that she’s performing Feeling Jovani at the event, and he says he hasn’t heard it. She plays it on her phone, and he asks who Jovani is. She says, that’s the best question ever.

Dorinda gazes at her and Richard’s old townhouse. In her interview, she says, today, she’s visiting old haunts. The townhouse was a special place for her and Richard. He carried her over the threshold. They had a huge garden, lots of wonderful dinners, and hosted parties. Everyone who was anyone walked through their doors. It was a beautiful, growing, loving time for them. She goes to Nello, and maître d Jon, greets her. She points out the ring she’s wearing, and says Richard gave it to her there on their five-year anniversary. The restaurant is where they always celebrated. In Ramona’s interview, she says, Dorinda has been dredging up a lot, and talking about Richard non-stop. Sonja, Ramona, and Elyse join Dorinda. Sonja pulls a shaker out of her purse, and says she’s on liquids, since she broke a zipper putting on her dress at the fashion show. In Sonja’s interview, she says she does an occasional detox of all liquids. Day three is always the worst. Dorinda says Sonja’s show was incredible, and she loved how Sonja diffused things with Leah. In her interview, Sonja says, Leah doesn’t wear the same kind of sparkly numbers the other girls do. She thought Leah would like the cashmere twin-set. She does. That’s why it has her name on it. She says, it couldn’t be worse. They’re eating this gorgeous food, while she’s eating this putrid-looking soup. Dorinda says she and Leah had a great talk. Leah is an interesting person. We see a clip of the two of them, hanging out at a bar and talking. She says Leah is very open. If she’s asked a question, she’ll answer it. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she feels like Leah has access to Tinsley in a different way. She wants to go to lunch with the two of them, and thinks maybe Leah can provide Tinsley with a comfort level or a connection, and maybe bring them back together. Ramona asks, who’s going to LuAnn’s thing? Elyse asks if LuAnn is drinking, and Ramona says, she’s taking it day by day. Elyse says, so she’s not committed to it long term? and Ramona thinks that would be setting herself up for failure. In Ramona’s interview, she says, if LuAnn wants to drink again, it’s her choice. She’s a big girl, and a responsible woman. As long as she’s not out of control, Ramona is supportive. Dorinda points out that Elyse only ate half her pasta. That’s why she’s a size zero, and Dorinda is a six. She’s a full-figured lady. Since when is a six full-figured? And while I’m on the subject, since when would a six fit Dorinda?

Tinsley and Dale go out to lunch. In Tinsley’s interview, she says her mom loves to come to town. Seeing the babies (Tinsley’s dogs) is a new excuse. They’re Dale’s grandchildren. Who knows if she’ll have any others. She thanks Dale for taking care of the dogs while she was gone. Dale says she loves them, but they’re a lot of work. Boy, don’t I know about that. Tinsley says she and Bruce are done. In her interview, she says that they broke up, and it was a mature ending. They don’t hate each other; they’re just done. Dale says she never even met him. She can’t imagine Tinsley living in Chicago, and Tinsley says she thinks that was part of the attraction. Bruce was a Chicago guy. In her interview, Tinsley says she thinks she just wanted to be in Chicago, but she doesn’t know. She tells Dale that Bruce couldn’t make time in his life for her, and Dale says, his life is set, and he doesn’t need any complications. He probably decided it was too much for him. She asks how Tinsley feels, walking the runway after all those years. Tinsley says she loved it, and Dale says when she’s on stage, she’s happy. Tinsley says, it makes ger irritated with the girls that she is younger, but she’s done a lot, and it’s never acknowledged. No way is she letting them gang up on her again. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she’s not letting them walk on her again. Particularly Dorinda. Dale says, the only thing that worries her is the issue of a baby. She’s afraid Tinsley is going to miss out if she dies before that happens. She’d like to croak after the baby is born. Tinsley says she can’t croak before. She promised to help Tinsley take care of it.

Sonja goes to Englewood, New Jersey, where the office for her brands is. She meets with VP Laura, and CEO Gaurav. She tells Laura that she’s annoyed that her clothes don’t fit. In Sonja’s interview, she says, she and Gaurav been in business many years, and just had a fantastic show. HE needs to show her the money. Gaurav says they have a very select customer, and Sonja says that’s why they’re expanding their base. She knows they lost money up front; that’s the business. She asks if they got sales from the show, and he says, no. She says, what the hell? In her interview, she says she knows there were losses up front, but seeing it on paper makes it real. There is a future. That’s why they’re working hard to make a profit. She tells Gaurav, she thinks Century 21 will be good exposure. In Sonja’s interview, she says, they sell online, but she recently got a call from Century 21, and they want to buy her collection. She wants to see what they have to say.

Leah talks to Rob. In her interview, she says, they never married, and she’s upset that he never proposed. It took a long time, but they made a point of being best friends, and being there for their daughter. Even though they live in separate houses, two blocks away. She tells him that Kier said he likes someone, but he says, no; he was talking about someone he worked with. She says they need to date people; this isn’t normal. He says he’s done, and she asks if he isn’t lonely. She is. She wants passion and romance. In Leah’s interview, she says she thinks they should date more, and show as parents that they can maintain a healthy relationship. She wonders if they’re going to be single forever. She tells Rob, her mom still isn’t talking to her, and in her interview, explains that when she decided to drink, her mom stopped speaking to her. She tells him that her mother won’t be happy until she’s in church, repenting. She did that once, and the priest hit on her, and asked how many partners she’d had. Obviously, she lied about the number.

LuAnn goes club Slate, which has a giant slide from the third to first level. LuAnn meets with podcast host Chanel, and says she loves the room. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Chanel asked her to be on the podcast, and they’re hosting a comedy event to benefit Stomp Out Bullying and Fortune Society, that helps people get their lives back after incarceration. Jacques arrives, and LuAnn says he’s going steal the show. In her interview, she says Jacques is engaged to a lovely lady, and has her stamp of approval. LuAnn wants to introduce Jacques by saying she wants to set the record straight; she never screwed the pirate. Jacques doesn’t think it’s funny, and she says if she’d done it, she’d be defensive, not joking about it.

Leah picks up Ramona, who says, it’s weird being back in the city. She wants to get in the fall swing of things. Now that she’s settled in more, she feels good. Leah says she texted her mom that she wanted to stop fighting – life is too short – but she got no response. Ramona says she told Leah, go in person. The only way to maybe come to terms is to go there physically. In Leah’s interview, she says, the nine years she didn’t drink helped, and now her parents are closer. When her mom is disapproving, it takes her back to her teen years. Ramona tells her, mothers deserve respect, even if they’re not always right. Leah says she shouldn’t be judged by her failures, but her achievements, and starts to cry.  Ramona says Leah’s mother is afraid Leah will fail again; she’s scared. In her interview, Leah says that Ramona and her mom are complete opposites, but having Ramona’s attention in a maternal way is comforting. Ramona says, people hide behind texts. She asks what Leah’s mom’s favorite flower is. Leah says, lilacs, and they’re also her favorite. Ramona says they’re her mother’s favorite too. She tells Leah to bring her mother a bouquet, and say she’s sorry she disappointed her. Leah says they need comedy now.

In her interview, Ramona says podcasts are gaining popularity, but she doesn’t have time for them. Dorinda suggests that she, Leah, and Tinsley have lunch together. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she doesn’t like the idea. She doesn’t need someone else there. In Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda thinks she would be a great mediator, but Tinsley’s not batsh*t crazy. Her being the voice of reason is scary. Jacques asks if Ramona has ever bullied anyone, and we flash back to several of the many times she has. She says she doesn’t think so, and he asks Dorinda, who says, no. We flash back to ditto. Dorinda says she used to fight the bullies who picked on other kids. Sonja says she’s glad she and Leah talked it out. In Leah’s interview, she says maybe she misread things, and Sonja wasn’t doing some weird shady sh*t, but she doesn’t think so. It’s not a big deal though. Sonja sent her a pair of pajamas. She can get over it. Dorinda says she doesn’t think LuAnn is an alcoholic. Tom literally drove her to drink. In Dorinda’s interview, she says LuAnn always says, it’s not about Tom, but it was. It was fast and furious, and stressful, beyond LuAnn’s control. She turned to the tipple. LuAnn says she needs some water, and picks up a glass. Ramona tells her, it’s all vodka, but she takes a sip anyway. Then takes another. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, it tastes so good. Dorinda says, it’s over; let the curse be lifted. In Ramona’s interview, she says, it was bound to happen. All she had was a sip. Dorinda says, it’s a big moment. No one is judging or cares. In her interview, LuAnn says, to be able to take a sip of vodka and not get arrested is huge. She doesn’t have to make excuses; she’s a grown woman. She’s ready. Elyse asks if she isn’t in AA, and Dorinda says Elyse isn’t the judge and jury. Elyse says she’s not, but if you’re in AA, you want to resist. Dorinda tells her to mind her own garden. In Elyse’s interview, she says she knows Dorinda and LuAnn are drinking buddies, but LuAnn just got out of AA and off probation. If LuAnn was her buddy, she’d be pulling the drink out of her hand.

LuAnn is introduced, and says she’s proud to be part of the organization. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, there’s so much going on, she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Were you bullied, in jail, or are you part of the comedy act? LuAnn reads an entry from her journal, and jokes about it. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s proud of everyone that tries. LuAnn makes her pirate joke, and introduces Jacques, who takes the stage. He says he was bulled as immigrant because of his name, which people pronounced Jackass. Sonja says, he could be funny, but she can’t understand him. Dorinda wishes  there was a bouncing ball of interpretation. Jacques says he’s sorry to interrupt Sonja, who insists she’s listening. It’s just these cackling bitches. In her interview, she says, maybe in France he’s hilarious. Ramona decides she’s bored and gets up. In Sonja’s interview, she says she usually has the pulse of the room, and there’s no pulse here. She can’t eat, can’t drink, and it’s not funny. She leaves with Ramona, and they go to the bathroom. LuAnn sings Money Can’t Buy You Class, and the crowd joins in. Elyse says Ramona dances like Elaine on Seinfeld.

Sonja tells Dorinda, she’s not drinking, and LuAnn is. In her interview, Sonja says, the last thing she wants is LuAnn drinking – without her. Tinsley goes down the slide, and Leah follows. Ramona thinks it’s the funniest part of the night. Tinsley says she wants to work on herself, and she’s not ready to be set up. She wants to be single for a little bit. Ramona is proud Tinsley made the decision to end something, and is taking charge of her life. She tends to stay to the bitter end. Dorinda goes down the slide, then LuAnn, and Sonja nearly slams into her. Dorinda tells Leah that Tinsley seems apprehensive about the lunch, and Leah says Dorinda is a little intimidating. Dorinda tells Tinsley that Leah said Tinsley is intimidated by her, and in Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda and tequila, no Bueno. Ramona asks if she’s scary, and Leah says, not really. In her interview, Dorinda says, of course Tinsley is intimidated by her. She’s intimidated by a butterfly. Tinsley says she doesn’t need Leah to have lunch with Dorinda, and Dorinda says she thought it would be nice for her. Leah has positive access to Tinsley in a different way. Tinsley says she doesn’t need other people to help solve her issues. Dorinda says, everything she does is no good. Sonja says, here we go again. Tinsley says she’s sick of people talking for her, and Sonja can’t believe that they’re fighting at an anti-bullying event.

LuAnn plays ping-pong with Ramona. Dorinda tells Tinsley, she came with good intentions. She’s leaving because she’s starting to get mad. In Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda and Tinsley are so stuck, they don’t need a mediator; they need a miracle. Tinsley says, way to make it work.

Next time, Dorinda thinks Ramona is behind a Page Six item about her, Dorinda tells Tinsley that her gum lasts longer than Tinsley’s relationships, the women go to an orchard where there’s a hayride, a corn maze, and a winery tasting.

🔪 On Top Chef, Gregory and Kevin were going to have their concepts come to life, and drew knives as to who would pick someone first for their team. Kevin got the first choice. His team consisted of Bryan, Melissa, and Karen, all Restaurant Wars winners. Gregory’s team included Brian full of Malarkey, Lee Anne, and Stephanie, Lee Anne described the team as a bunch of wild cards. Gregory wanted his diners to feel like they’d been whisked away to the Caribbean, while Kevin wanted to present a style of country cooking not usually found outside of people’s homes. Gregory said it best in his interview, by telling us, it was quite an undertaking in the timeframe they had.

The chefs had 48 hours to plan, and no restrictions. They began by planning their menu, setting up their kitchen, and selecting the décor. The winning team would split $40K, and get a subscription to Open Table stockware to help run their restaurants.

While buying dinnerware, Kevin nearly had a fistfight with Lee Anne and Brian full of Malarkey when he’d put down some plates only to have them end up with the other team. Lee Anne swore they had no idea Kevin was saving the plates, and Karen diffused the situation, talking Kevin down. While part of the teams began cooking, the rest set up the restaurants. Kevin hit another snag when his curry brand wasn’t available. He was concerned that it was going to be struggle to get out his twelve dishes. Karen felt she was spread too thin, and not dedicating enough time to both the front and back of the house.

Karen explained to the diners that Country Captain was family style, and really a feast. Melissa felt there was too much on the menu, and it was overwhelming for all of them. The first set of diners ran late, causing the next group to have to wait. Brian full of Malarkey did the front of the house for Kann, but Lee Anne felt he wasn’t absorbing the original plan.

The judges said both teams had conveyed the mood board, there was a lot of good food, and all in all, they did an awesome job. Kann was the winner, having a well-designed menu that was cohesive. Kevin was clearly disappointed. Tom told Gregory that he didn’t try to chef it up, and stayed true to what he’d said it would be. He said it made him want to go to Haiti, and Gregory had expressed what the island was about in ten dishes.

Gail said Kevin had taken on a lot, and he said he could have made last minute changes, but didn’t think that would have been in the spirit of Top Chef. I have no idea what he meant by that, and got the vibe that the judges didn’t either, and thought it was an odd excuse. The judges felt there were too many dishes, but Kevin said, although some editing might have been in order, his grandmother would have thought the chef should give everything they can, and then give the guest more. Tom said, the mushrooms were just bad, and Karen whined that she didn’t have the help she was promised. Tom asked why Kevin thought he shouldn’t be sent home, and Kevin said he was raised to own his mistakes, and couldn’t live with himself if he threw anyone under the bus. In the end, any mistake rested on his shoulders. That being said, he was told to pack his knives and go. Or at least move on to Last Chance Kitchen. In his interview, he said it was important to do the right thing, and the captain went down with the ship. He admired captains who did that when they could have jumped into a lifeboat.

Coming up, summer camp, a dinner for athletes, Brian full of Malarkey feels betrayed and maybe walks, and the finale in Europe.

🎭 Garcelle Explains the Drama…

She might be a newbie, but she’s not afraid to jump into the thick of it.


🥤 It Wasn’t Exactly a First…

Teresa broke the fourth wall too, when she threw the Solo cup at the camera.


🕶 Poor Jax…

Maybe he should have broken out those sunglasses he stole in Hawaii.


🍸 Bartending With Stanley…

One of my favorite actors gives a lesson in mixology.


🐶 Raising the Woof…

Does he know it’s him? Does it matter?


🤷🏽‍♀️ TGIWhatever…

Friday may not have the same meaning for everyone right now, but it’s still Friday. Stay strong, stay following the guidelines, and stay knowing what day it is. Or at least the month.

April 30, 2020 – Carly Figures It Out, NYC Wives Do Fashion Week, the Restaurants Are Chosen, Camp Please No & Wild


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

In keeping with this week’s tradition, I missed the beginning, which wasn’t much. Sonny wants to talk to the family, Julian told Brook to get out of his bar, and Nelle harassed Michael in the park.

Michael tells Nelle, they’re done here, but she says, they’re just getting started.

Sasha sees Carly headed toward her, and says, before she says anything… Carly says she already talked to Michael, and being Michael, he blames himself. But she blames Sasha. She wants Sasha to tell her, in her own words, why she cheated on Michael.

Josslyn asks Sonny if it’s about Mike, but he says his dad is the same. It’s about the situation keeping them there. They can leave the house now. Josslyn asks if they can go back to school, and he says they can. Dev says, it’s amazing news, and Sonny tells Brando that he’s free to go back to Chicago.

At the hospital, Elizabeth asks how Trina is, and Trina says, pretty good, considering. Elizabeth says if there’s anything she can do, just call. Trina thanks her, and Elizabeth tells Cameron that she’s going back to work. Call if he needs her. Cameron flashes back to being on Sonny’s terrace with Trina, and kissing her. Trina says, hey.

At the reception desk, Elizabeth asks if Portia saw Trina, and Portia says Trina was doing her homework there earlier. Elizabeth wishes Cameron was as good with that, and Portia says she’d love to ask Elizabeth’s opinion. It’s about the hospital, so if Elizabeth isn’t comfortable, she’ll understand. Elizabeth says, try her, and Portia says she’s thinking about putting her name in for the head of internal medicine. She knows she’s new, but since Elizabeth has been there a while, she wants her opinion. Would she be stepping on any toes, or inviting pushback or resentment, or both?

Julian tells Brook, turn around, and stay out of his bar. She asks, why the hostility? and he says, maybe because she blackmailed him. She asks if he’s admitting he knew all along the baby was Michael’s.

Michael tells Nelle, his relationship with Sasha – she says, or lack thereof – has nothing to do with her. She says, it doesn’t reflect well on his commitment, or his ability to provide a stable home. She’s willing to compromise though. Instead of being at each other’s throats with a custody hearing, she’s willing to strike a deal. She gets full custody. Of course (🍷) he’ll have visitation. She’s thinking one weekend a month and alternate holidays. In return, grandmas one and two can keep their robust bank accounts and their jobs.

Chase tells Willow, he’s sorry. She says she’s sorry too, for her part in making this happen, but it’s too painful; she can’t go there yet. Someday, her time with him will be happy memories, but this is how life is right now, and she can’t imagine that day. She has no more room in her heart to hurt, and the best way for him to apologize, is to just not. She goes into the bedroom.

Sasha says she knows Carly is furious, but she thinks what happened should stay between her and Michael. Carly says, it’s not just them; there’s Chase. She believed Sasha when Sasha said she loved Michael and would never hurt him like Nelle did. She believed Sasha’s lies and deceit were behind her. Help her understand what changed. Sasha says, it’s not all that complicated, but Carly doubts that. Sasha says, Chase was feeling like things with Willow were happening too fast, and she felt that way too, in a way. She didn’t count on an insta-family with Michael and Wiley. She realized she’d never be enough. Michael needs someone better, more pure. Diane confirmed that she’s a bad choice as far as the custody suit goes. She and Chase were frustrated, and one thing led to another… Carly says, no. She’s lying.

Cameron asks Trina if the Spanish test wasn’t difficult, and she says, no. He asks if she didn’t take the test, but she says, no; she can’t do this. They barely see each other outside of school, and all he can come up with to talk about is that he thought the Spanish test was hard? He’s totally been avoiding her. He says he hasn’t. He’s been busy with school and soccer. She says, like every day of his life. The only thing that’s changed is that they kissed. She suggests they talk about it, and says it can never happen again.

Josslyn says Cameron was going to the hospital after school, and Trina goes there to do her homework sometimes, so she’s probably there. Dev asks if they should text first, but she wants it to be a surprise. Sonny says, they still can’t take public transportation, and one of the bodyguards will drive them. Josslyn and Dev leave, and Brando says Sonny made their day. Sonny says, they seem happy. What about him? Brando says, it’s a great relief that no one is in danger, especially the kids. Sonny appreciates what Brando has done for him and his family. If he needs help reestablishing himself, all he has to do is ask. Brando thanks him, but he was wondering if he has the option to stay.

Brook says Julian is so busted. He was so busy covering his tracks with Brad, he didn’t count on his own son being in the car. He put Lucas in a coma. Julian says he did nothing of the sort. Her theory is pure delusion. She asks if that’s all he’s got. He’s been hiding Michael’s son from him, and Willow has been jumping through fiery hoops for a baby that’s not her own. Did he think Lucas would be grateful? The cherry on top is the accident. Julian tried to kill Brad, but ended up hurting Lucas. He’s in so deep, but not to worry. One word from her to Sonny or Michael, and all his problems will be solved permanently.

Nelle bets Michael didn’t think she had it in her to be fair. He says she wants him to stop fighting for Wiley’s custody, and if he does, she’ll drop the bogus charges against Monica and Bobbie. She says correct, although she has an issue with the bogus part. He says, it’s not going to happen. There’s nothing she can prove, and even if she could, and shuttered the doors of GH, it wouldn’t matter. Monica and Bobbie would happily walk away from their careers rather than let her raise Wiley. She’s bad for Wiley, and he doesn’t trust her with his son. She says, their son, and he says, not when he’s done. She says he thinks he’s better than her, and he says he has to be. Wiley deserves better, and he’s going to have it. She says he’ll be sorry, and the worst part is, it didn’t need to be this way.

Sasha gets why Carly would think she’s lying, and Carly says, none of this tracks. Sasha told her that she thought Michael marrying Willow would improve his chances for custody, and now she says she and Chase have been having an affair the whole time? Sasha says she felt guilty about it, and Carly says, she didn’t sleep with Chase. She just wants Michael to think she did.

Willow tells Chase, she’s sure she forgot some things. If he finds them, just put them aside. He asks if she’s sure she’s okay, and I yell, tell her, you idiot, as Willow leaves. She cries in the hallway, and Chase leans against the door.

Sonny says he had no idea Brando wanted to stay. Brando realizes it seems like he’s doing a 180, and guesses he is. In the beginning, he just wanted out, and to go back to Chicago and his life, but that wasn’t an option. He needed to stay put and play the part of Dev’s dad. He likes Port Charles. Sonny says, it’s a great city, and Brando says, he likes running his own garage. He’s not demanding it be rent free, and if the deal is over, no harm, no foul. But if he can stay and pay rent, keep the garage going, it’s something he’d like to explore.

Elizabeth tells Portia, she’s not comfortable speaking for the doctors, but she’ll speak for the nurses. Even though Portia has only been there a short period, she’s totally earned their respect. Everyone is raving about her. Portia is glad to hear that, and Elizabeth says Portia knows what she’s doing. She’s sure other people will be vying for the position, but she hasn’t heard of any yet. Her vote is, go for it.

Trina tells Cameron, they’re going to get it all out there. She really likes him so much; he’s an awesome friend. She’s so grateful he was with her in the car and at the warehouse. She would have lost her mind without him. He says he would have too. She says she’s researched PTSD, and it messes with you emotions. That’s what happened to them. They almost died, and they went through it together. They’re scrambled, but fine. It’s not fine to make something of it that it’s not. Nothing has changed. He says, it hasn’t? and she says he’s as into Josslyn as he ever was. Josslyn is still getting over Oscar, but she’s close to getting to the other side. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes she’s into him. The worst Cameron can do is convince himself that he’s into Trina when he’s not, and blow his chances. Cameron says, so they’re good? and she says, totally good. He says, wow. She’s the best. She says, duh.

Brook tells Julian, he can relax. She has no interest sharing his secret with Sonny or anyone. The last thing she wants to do is blow up Lucas’s life more than it is already. Julian’s dirty little secret is safe. Dustin comes up behind her, and asks what secret that would be?

Chase sits in the dark, and looks at his phone. He remembers telling Willow that he has to shower, and her saying she’ll risk it, and kissing him.

Carly says, Michael couldn’t bring himself to marry Willow; he didn’t want to hurt Sasha. So she found a way to let him off the hook. She tells Sasha not to confirm it, or she’ll be obligated to tell Michael that she sacrificed her own happiness for him and Wiley. She’s have to tell him that Sasha knows Wiley is the most important thing, and has to be kept away from Nelle. She would probably do the same thing in Sasha’s position, and admires a woman who can do that. Sasha says nothing, and leaves.

Michael says he can’t believe it. Dammit! He picks up a big stick, and hits a tree with it. Willow yells his name, and asks, what’s wrong? What’s going on? He says he ran into Nelle, and gave her exactly what she wanted.

Sonny tells Brando, it’s up to him. Sonny was under the impression Brando couldn’t wait to get out, but if that’s not the case, he can stay. Brando says, cool. He didn’t know if it would mess things up. Sonny says, it works out for him. It’s more convincing for Dev, having Brando around. He doesn’t want Brando to feel obligated now that the danger has passed. Brando says he appreciates being given a choice.

Cameron tells Trina, she’s 100% correct. Trina says, tell her something she doesn’t know, and he says, except for him being into Josslyn. She says, that’s why they were going to the winter formal in the first place; so he could dance with Josslyn. He says he likes her, but it’s not a big deal. If she never feels same way, they’ll just be friends. Trina says, shut up, and he says he wants to tell her how great she is. Hug time. He grabs Trina, and she says she can’t breathe. Josslyn arrives with Dev, and asks, who’s ready for a movie? Did they interrupt something?

Brooks says, Dusty! He made it just in time. He says, what’s the dirty little secret? and Julian says, Brook is exaggerating. Brook says, there’s no use hiding it. She needs to tell Dustin the truth. She and Julian aren’t related, but they have a lot of people in common. Like Lucas. She didn’t know Julian was his biological father until after Julian propositioned her. He thought she was a hooker. Julian says offered to pay for her time; nothing else. Brook says, if she mentioned it to Lucas, it would make things awkward. Out of the goodness of her heart, she hasn’t, but it wouldn’t hurt if Julian was nicer to her.

Chase flashes back to telling Willow that wine guy is a legend, and saying, she’s not going to leave him for wine guy, is she? She says, that depends on if he’s still making her rock climb. He says, it’s at the Y; he’s not asking her to climb Everest. She says, it’s kind of the same thing. In the present, there’s a knock at the door, and Chase jumps up to answer, but it’s Sasha. She asks if she can come in, and he says, sure. She says she wanted to check on him. How’s he doing? Is he waiting for Willow to come back? He says, she’s definitely not coming back.

Michael tells Willow, Nelle agreed to drop the lawsuit… Willow says, in exchange for full custody. Bobbie and Monica would give up their careers and go bankrupt before letting that happen. He says that’s what he told Nelle. She said a bunch of BS, and he lost it. He knows not to do that. What if Nelle was recording it? She drives him crazy. He tells himself, don’t engage, but he couldn’t help it. She made him so furious. Willow says, good for him.

Dustin thinks he and Brook will have the song done in time for the Nurses Ball. She says he didn’t apologize for being late. He says, it was five minutes, and she says she was early. He says he couldn’t let his students out before the bell rang, and she says she can’t get over the fact her artistic Dusty is a high school teacher. He says her artistic Dusty has bills to pay. Not everyone gets to be a Quartermaine. She says, touché, and he says, besides, he’s passionate about teaching, like she is about her music. She suggests they get back to it.

Brando says he understood the situation, and was fine with helping Dev out; he’s a good kid. And he’s not the type to turn his back on someone in trouble. Sonny says, he made that clear, and Brando says, he didn’t like being told how live, and not having a say. He screwed up in the past, but he’s taken control of his life, and has been responsible for his own choices. Having said that, Sonny gave him the opportunity to do something good in Port Charles, and he doesn’t want to waste it.

Trina tells Josslyn, she was telling Cameron that he’s a complete idiot who made a complete mess of his life, but he’s lucky he has smart friends. Josslyn asks what Cameron did now, and Cameron says he was late to practice. The coach was mad, and he’s the one who has to write Cameron a recommendation letter. Trina says she told Cameron it would be okay; he could make it up. She asks how Josslyn and Dev are there, and Dev says, house arrest is officially lifted. Josslyn says they still have to be careful. Sonny’s guys are driving them, but they’re free. Cameron says, good. They can hang out somewhere other than Josslyn’s house. Josslyn says she’s dying to go to the movies, and Trina asks what she wants to see. Josslyn doesn’t care, and Cameron says, not a chick flick. Dev wonders what that is, and Trina says they’re romantic comedies that Cameron secretly loves. Josslyn says, he does, and he knows it.

Nelle goes to the MetroCourt, and Carly asks if there’s something she can do for her. Nelle says she ran into Michael, and Carly says, how was that? Nelle says, terrible. He was abusive and threatening, and she fully intends to tell her lawyer. She was willing to compromise, but Michael refused. As much as she was hoping to avoid all out warfare and being combative, the court is going to hear all about it.

Chase gives Sasha a glass of water. She asks if he’s waiting for Willow, and he says he’s waiting for the sense that he did the right thing. To sense the rightness that will make losing Willow bearable. That should be the reward for doing the far better thing; the pain and loss should get less. He keeps telling himself that, but right now all he can think about is the future he’d started to dream of that will never come true.

Willow says, it’s not like Michael had a meltdown in court, but be real. Nelle is an evil psycho, and it doesn’t matter if he freaks out. If he plays along, she’s hateful, but if he fights her, she’s still hateful. She’s glad he yelled at Nelle, and wishes she’d been there. She would have yelled too, for everything Nelle has done to Michael, Wiley, and her. If not for Nelle and her walking horror show, Willow wouldn’t have flipped out; she wouldn’t have driven Chase into Sasha’s arms. She wouldn’t have had to get her clothes from an apartment where she was the happiest she’s ever been. She hates that she’s doing this now. It doesn’t matter what happened to her, or how sad she is, or how she wishes things were different. The only thing that matters is Wiley. Michael says, she’s right. Nelle is the worst. He suggests she give the tree a whack. She says she’s not hitting a tree, but he says he did, and it made him feel better. Give it a try. She takes the stick, and says, okay. She hits it and laughs. He says, imagine it’s Nelle; give it a good whack. She hits it harder, and keeps hitting it. She says, I hate you Nelle.

Sonny tells Brando, he’s welcome to stay. He’s family, and it’s good to have him. Plus, Sonny owes him. Brando says, he doesn’t, but Sonny says he saved Carly, and stepped up for Dev. He knows Brando didn’t think he had a choice, and responsibility and free will are important to him. Brando says, it was a unique situation, and Sonny says, now that it’s over, Brando’s life is back in his hands. What he does about it, whatever he decides, Sonny will respect it. Brando thanks him, and says he’s not sure he was truly grateful before, but he is now. They shake hands.

Portia tells Elizabeth, she pulled the trigger. She’s officially in the running for head of internal medicine. Elizabeth says, good for her, and good luck. Portia appreciates it, and thinks Elizabeth for her support.

Taking Trina aside, Josslyn says, Cameron seems happy, and Trina says, he does. Josslyn wonders why, but she’s sure they’ll be able to figure it out. Trina says, let’s go, and Josslyn says Trina seems happier too. Trina thinks she is. She feels like things are still really horrible, but maybe they’re looking up. Josslyn tells Cameron and Dev, the chick flick awaits. Cameron says, no, and Josslyn says she thinks he’s protesting too much. They walk out together, all happy.

Carly asks if Nelle has a recording or footage of said abusive behavior, but Nelle says, no. Doesn’t Carly care that the son she raised is treating her this way? Carly says, not really, and Nelle says she’ll never see her grandchild again, and Carly’s mom is going to lose her license because Michael refused to be flexible. Carly says they’ll wait and see, and Nelle asks if she thinks Michael is going to win, and Carly says she doesn’t know who’s going to win. Who can predict that? But she can tell Nelle, she has a good feeling about it.

Sasha tells Chase, she’s waiting for that too; the feeling of, yes, it was worth it. Do her a favor. Whichever one of them it happens to first, let the other one know. If it makes him feel any better, Carly completely figured it out. Carly thinks they’re doing the right thing. So does she. Chase says he knows they are. If he didn’t, he couldn’t do it. Sasha asks if he has anything stronger, and he goes to the kitchen.

Willow says Michael is right. She does feel better, but what if someone saw? He says, no one is around. Better to hit the tree than Nelle. She says, that depends on who you ask. Michael says he’s sorry for all the havoc this insanity has caused in her life, but she says she doesn’t regret any of it. He asks how that’s possible, and she says, in whatever crazy Nelle responsible way Wiley is in her life, she can never be sorry for that. She can’t stand the thought that Nelle might win. Michael says, she won’t, and she asks how he knows. He says, because they won’t let her.

On Monday, Ava asks Nikolas if he wants a divorce, Franco says he can never escape his past, Neil attacks Julian, and Brando tells Jason that he’s staying.

The Real Housewives of New York City

It’s the start of Fashion Week, and Sonja gets her new collection together. Tinsley practices her walk, as Garo Sparo (winner, Project Runway) asked her close out his show. She gets to wear a crown, and she says, it’s the most exciting thing ever. LuAnn meets with her producer Ben. Her new show theme is Marry F*** Kill. She says, it’s always been about the Countess, but now the Countess is being naughty. She’s excited about the new show.

In her interview, Ramona says, if you don’t go to a show during Fashion Week, you’re considered a leper (yeah, I know), so she has to go, or she’ll be ostracized. Sonja says she’s been working all summer on her new collection of ready-to-wear; everything is under $250. She confers with her team, and asks about the models. In her interview, she says Fashion Week is a big hurdle, and she doesn’t want to mess it up. The girls are coming, as well as her designer friends, and it’s nerve wracking. She thinks team Sonja forgets the reason for the show is the retailers wanting to buy her collection. She swears she’s not sleeping until the show is over.

Tinsley squeals when sees the dress she’s wearing, and says, it’s so her. It is. Very fairy princessy. Dale is happy that Tinsley is back doing something. It’s been ten years. Dale dabs at her eyes, and Tinsley says she doesn’t want to cry; she’ll ruin her makeup. She says she looks like herself again, and they both cry without crying. Dale asks what wrong with them? and Tinsley says, a lot. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she was the It girl, and walked in shows. This makes her feel like she’s back to being the person she was before, and lost when moved away.

Dorinda and Sonja get out of the limo, checking their girdles and tape respectively. Tinsley is thrilled with her cute, cute dress, but not so much the sparkly sneakers. In her interview, she says most people walk the runway in heels, but she’s afraid she might trip in the sneakers. She definitely wouldn’t in heels. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, Tinsley loves a Disney themed fashion show. Maybe she’ll get her happily ever after. Ramona says they’re not her kind of clothes, but she appreciates the spectacle. Amanda Lepore takes a turn on the runway. Leah says she used to read Vogue all the time, and it’s what Tinsley was made to do; what she does best, back where she was in her heyday. Almost. In Sonja’s interview, she says Tinsley hasn’t had that spark recently, and it’s back. Garo says Tinsley turned it out, and everyone congratulates her. LuAnn says she’s back.

Backstage, LuAnn asks for a curling iron, accosting Lioc, who’s there for the models, but styles LuAnn’s hair. In her interview, LuAnn says she had to run home and change, and didn’t have time to do her hair. She used to be a model, so why not? Outside, John takes photos of Dorinda and the other woman. Ramona hogs the spotlight, insisting on posing with designer Pamela Roland, and literally pushing the people who were with her out of the way. Sonja tells LuAnn the show wasn’t for her age group, and LuAnn says the clothes were more in the not-in-her-taste group. Ramona bitches about how Tinsley left things at her Hamptons house. She tells Tinsley that she was upset by the way she left the room; she trashed it. There were soda cans and water bottles everywhere, and she stained Ramona’s duvet cover. In Tinsley’s interview, she says they’re not talking percale sheets. Ramona got them at Bed, Bath & Beyond. She’ll get Ramona a new one. She tells Ramona that she’s sorry; she’ll pay for it. They sit, but Leah isn’t there, which Ramona says is not cool. In Ramona’s interview, she says they have a great location for the fashion show. It’s a coveted thing to be in the front row. Sonja leaves messages for people about the models. She says she realized her staff wasn’t doing what she thought they were. In her interview, Ramona says she’s totally embarrassed. They’re in the front row, and Sonja should know better. It takes months of preparation for a three minute show. Can’t she put the phone away for three minutes? Sonja says she’s physically there, but mentally, she’s worried about her own show. In Dorinda’s interview, she thinks the Roland show made Sonja panic. She’s not as organized as she thought.

The women go to a restaurant. Ramona thinks she’s going to order oysters, and in her interview, Dorinda says, Ramona eating oysters is like watching a porn flick. And she guards them like Neptune’s treasure. LuAnn says Sonja was on her phone the whole time. Sonja, who’s still on her phone, says she has model fittings tomorrow. Ramona asks why that wasn’t done last week, and Sonja says, it’s the people she hired. Ramona suggests she let an intern do the work, and Sonja says, she has to negotiate prices. Nothing is free unless she gets it. She goes to sit on the side by herself, and Leah arrives. She says she needed a moment. She had a mental… not breakdown, a breakthrough. Ramona says it was rude not to show up. It was a coveted invite. Leah says her dad called, and said mother doesn’t want talk to her. Leah starts crying, and says, after a nine year period of not drinking, she decided to do it, and her mom is worried. Ramona wonders why Leah told her. In Leah’s interview, she says she texted her mom that she drank, and it’s not the end of the world. Her mom didn’t respond to her texts afterward, so she called her dad, and he said her mom is mad at her. Ramona says she’s afraid Leah will go to that deep dark place, and LuAnn asks how Leah feels about it. Leah says she has no regrets. She was in a good environment, and didn’t put herself in danger. The hangover sucks, but she thinks her mother is overreacting. LuAnn thinks talking to her wasn’t helpful. In her interview, Leah says her drinking is a trigger for her mom. She still views Leah as a wild teenager. It’s hard to accept she’s a thirty-seven year old who’s got their sh*t together. Ramona says she shouldn’t do things like that by text, but Leah says she’s a millennial. In Ramona’s interview, she says, a text is for, what time should I be there? or, I’m running late, not for this. Dorinda says she doesn’t tell her mother anything, and LuAnn says she keeps her mom in the dark. Tinsley says her mom wants the best for her, but gives her a list of what to do specifically. Like she didn’t want Tinsley’s hair curled for the show, and they got in an argument. In her interview, Leah say she wishes their argument was about the way she wears her hair, but she’s talking big life sh*t. Tinsley says she doesn’t need everyone’s advice. She can make her own decisions. Dorinda pantomimes taking out her brain. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s trying to be a compassionate human while listening to the argument about straight versus curly hair, but Mother Teresa couldn’t tolerate this. Ramona’s oysters come, and Dorinda asks if she only ordered for herself. Ramona says she asked if anyone wanted anything. Dorinda only listens when she wants to, because she’s more interested in hearing herself talk.

Leah meets with her Married to the Mob publicist Sloan. She says streetwear wasn’t even a term when she started. She paved the way, and fifteen years later, she’s still doing it. She wanted to wear men’s clothing lines, and thought she couldn’t be the only woman who didn’t like cutesy streetwear, so she made her own. She also hated having a boss, and got fired from every job. Sloan say she put herself in the middle of a man’s world. In Leah’s interview, she says, her type of feminism is to do whatever the boys do, but do it better. Her ex and baby daddy Rob arrives, and in her interview, she says, it’s hard for people to understand their relationship. It’s so unique. They’re basically an amazing married couple who don’t live in the same house or have sex. She tells him everything is all good, but he doesn’t think her drinking is a good idea. She asks if he thinks she’d do anything to put the life she’s worked hard for in jeopardy. He says drinking puts her on a self-destructive path. In Leah’s interview, she says Rob and her mom are like her two rocks in life. They’re both questioning her, and her mom isn’t talking to her. It’s upsetting. Rob says, it’s her prerogative, but if it starts affecting… She says they’re on the same page. He says her mother is their only helper, and they have to give her the respect she deserves. Leah gets weepy, and says she can’t believe they’re still not in a place of understanding. She’s never felt any approval from her mother, only judgement. Rob says, that’s what parents do.  

Dorinda meets with stylist Luke. In her interview, she says Sonja sent everyone a couple of options, and she was lucky enough to get a Liza Minelli-esque jacket. She tells Luke. John never misses the opportunity to make bad decisions. He doesn’t think sometimes. In her interview, she says he knows she doesn’t like some of his lifestyle choices. There was a party he wanted to go to, even though she didn’t, and he went without her. We see a clip of that, and she says he disappeared. It doesn’t make her feel good, or have a sense of security and love. Clearly, if he’s not home with her, he’s not happy. Luke says people wondered where she was. It’s a bit of disrespect. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s transparent as a person. She’s not worried that John is doing something naughty, but the non-transparency runs deeper. She tells Luke that she thinks the relationship gets stunted. She hasn’t returned his calls for two days.

Sonja’s show is in two hours. She takes a selfie with her team, and thinks she looks like Phyllis Diller, but no one knows who that is. She’s unhappy with the floral arrangements, and in her interview, she says, fashion people are coming. They need gorgeous flowers. Stems would be better. This is an embarrassment. She calls LuAnn, who’s in San Diego. She already had a show booked in California this month. Sonja shows LuAnn the flower disaster, and has to go. In her interview, Sonja suggests everybody pull their heads out of their asses and figure out what’s going on. She yells at everyone, and says she doesn’t want them to think or ask anything.

Leah picks up Tinsley. Tinsley remarks that Leah isn’t wearing anything Sonja, and asks if Sonja didn’t send anything to her. She sent three different dresses over to Tinsley that she loved. What she’s wearing is really pretty; a mini dress with a nude underlay, and white knit flowers on top. Leah takes what looks like a sweat suit out of a bag, and shows Tinsley, saying, that’s not athleisure. It was all she sent, along with a hat. In Leah’s interview, she says she’s pretty sure Sonja is trying to send a message. We flash back to Leah screaming, 1985 is over. She tells Tinsley, there are also these, and puts on a pair of sunglasses. She asks where the crack pipe is, since only someone high on crack would wear this. In her interview, Tinsley says she doesn’t think Sonja is capable of purposely making Leah look stupid. She probably thought it would look cool.

Ramona says she doesn’t understand what Sonja is doing, since it’s not a designer, and the clothes are already made. Sonja yells at more people, and in her interview, she says, don’t let them see you sweat, but right now, she doesn’t care what they see. The guests come first. It’s to say thank you to their supporters and get good press. John surprises Dorinda, and in her interview, she says she didn’t know he was coming. If she’s not at a party, she doesn’t see him. There’s a disconnect that she can’t get her head around, and he doesn’t even seem to acknowledge it. Tinsley and Leah come in. Leah’s dress has a print of Lil’ Kim on it, who she says is her feminist icon. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she had a skirt with Chairman Mao on it. She gets the vibe that’s going on. It’s a gangstery thing. Ramona isn’t wearing Sonja either, because it didn’t fit; she couldn’t get it zipped. Leah says, Sonja wanted her to wear pajamas. She shows them the outfit. In Ramona’s interview, she says she wouldn’t wear it either. It’s a sweat outfit; something you walk the dog in. What was Sonja thinking? Dorinda asks what Leah did to deserve that.

In Dorinda’s interview, she says, come on. Sonja knew what she was doing. Dorinda would have cut that sh*t up, midriffed it, put on a great pair of heels, and walked the runway. The show starts. I like Sonja’s pieces. I’ve checked them out before, and they are actually affordable. Backstage, Sonja says the models are fantastic, and the clothes are beautiful and fit well. Every time a model goes by, Dorinda says, Leah could have worn that. Sonja thinks the show will help them continue their relationships with retailers, and says, it all comes together when it’s supposed to. In Leah’s interview, she says she’s in the fashion industry. She’s been going to Fashion Week shows since she was seventeen, when she babysat for the editor (oddly enough) of Seventeen magazine. She knows what a fashion show looks like, and this isn’t a fashion show. Tinsley says, there was no music, and there were no lights.

Sonja asks who it is on Leah’s dress. Beyonce? She asks, what happened to the cashmere two-piece? It’s her signature, and it was in Elle. Dorinda says, the dresses would have looked great on Leah. Leah says she thinks Sonja is full of sh*t, and she’s passive/aggressive. It’s like, she’s the Downtown one. Sonja is still mad at her from the Hamptons. In Sonja’s interview, she says she can’t believe they’re doing this now. It’s her moment. She’s never giving Leah a gift again. Does Leah really think she has to time to be passive/aggressive and think it out? Sonja says she gave it to Leah in a nice bag, and Leah says, it was a paper bag that had been ripped open. Sonja asks where the sunglasses are, but there’s never an answer to this. Hmm… In her interview, Sonja says she didn’t think Leah would like a frilly dress. She’s never seen her in one, and her dresses are kind of fancy. Leah says she tried the sweats on, and she looked crazy. Sonja immediately has a couple of her people help her out of whatever it is she’s wearing, and puts on the sweats. She comes galumphing out, wearing the hat as well, and shakes her groove thing in Leah’s face. Leah says, how can she be mad at Sonja? In her interview, she says, it’s hard to stay mad when Sonja is prancing around looking like a pimp in pajamas.  

Next time, LuAnn meets with Jacques (remember him?), Leah says Dorinda that she’s scary, LuAnn tells her audience that she never hooked up with the pirate, and LuAnn drinks some vodka.

🌮 On Top Chef, Stephanie felt bad, as she was the only Padma’s Angel left. Bryan said, being in the bottom was extremely motivating. I’ll bet. We saw a clip of Last Chance Kitchen, where Karen won, and would be joining them. The Quickfire challenge was a taco throwdown for Danny Trejo (Machete, and a million other things, also one of my favorites). Along with being in films, he also owns Trejo Tacos and a donut shop. They were to make the perfect taco for him, and he told them to be creative. The box was lifted to reveal machetes, the only knife the chefs would be allowed to use. There would be immunity this time, but Padma said, from there on out, it was off the table. Most of the chefs made a fish taco of some kind. I’ve never had a fish taco, which is surprising because I love fish. I don’t know why, but I’m skeptical of them. After all the tacos were tasted, Danny said he’d buy every one of them. The bottom two were Gregory, for excessive saltiness (in his dish, not him), and Eric, whose portion size was skimpy. The chef who had everything Danny wanted in a taco was Stephanie. In her interview, she said she’d been waiting to win… something. Everyone would think she was a badass now, cooking with a machete.

The chefs were reminded that Restaurant Wars would be next week, but the battle was beginning now. The guest judges for the elimination challenge were, restaurateur Kevin Boehm, and Top Chef winner and restaurant owner Stephanie Izard. The challenge was to make it through the pitch, presenting the concept and the menu using a mood board, and making one or two dishes that were an example of the restaurant. They had to pitch and sell their idea, and the two favorites would be the restaurants in the war.

The restaurant concepts were, Kevin, with Country Captain, featuring Southern fare; Eric, with Middle Passage, featuring African cuisine; Gregory, with Kann, featuring Haitian woodfire cooking; Bryan V., with Thatcher and the Rye, he said accessible so much, I had no idea what his concept was supposed to be; Karen, with Three Black Crows, featuring modern dim sum; Lee Anne, with Hanai Mama, featuring Hawaiian food – she also explained that hanai meant adopted. We continued with, Stephanie, who presented Lucy C.’s, featuring modern, elevated comfort food (Lucy was her dog); Brian full of Malarkey presented Baja Asian, a combination that isn’t supposed to be together, but can’t help it (no surprise, his was the most dramatic of the presentations); and finally, Melissa with Sabrina, featuring modern Asian California food. She’d named the restaurant after her grandmother, who saw life in a romantic way. It’s how she wanted her food to be. Gregory pointed out that they had to be both great cooks and great salesmen for the challenge.

At the Judges’ Table, the favorites were Gregory, Kevin, Brian full of Malarkey, and Melissa. The judges said they could picture themselves eating at the restaurant, as well as the restaurant being successful. The big winners were Kevin, with Country Kitchen, and Gregory with Kann. The judges wanted to see their restaurants come to life.

On the downside were Eric, Lee Anne, and Stephanie, which we saw coming. She’d never even envisioned a restaurant for herself. The judges said she had no concept, and Stephanie had to agree. She had no focus. What she did have was immunity, so she was asked to step aside. Tom said Eric’s idea of casual, accessible food, but upscale dishes had a disconnect. The duck was overcooked, and the judges agreed his food fell short. Gail said it was so salty, it drowned out what he was trying to do. Lee Anne was told her concept wasn’t strong enough, and she admitted she hadn’t picked the right things to express it. Padma said they were both good chefs, but it was Eric’s turn to pack his knives and go. In his interview, Eric said he was disappointed in himself, and this taught him a new level of humility. He said he was still a student, and learned, not just from the judges, but everyone around him. He was hoping to redeem himself in Last Chance Kitchen.

Next time, the restaurant concepts come to life. It looks like a lot of chaos.

🏕 The advertisement for Camp Getaway said it was the opposite of adulting. That worries me. And don’t we have that already with Summer House?

🌼 Tra-La It’s May…

You’re here, Friday’s here, spring is springing, get out there if you can. See you later on the Shah side, when the season comes to a close. Except for a one or two episode of the dreaded reunion, where everyone talks at once and old wounds are opened. That Andy Cohen is an evil genius, I tell you. Stay safe, stay ready for anything, and stay (virtually) wild.

April 23, 2020 – How Memories Define Us, Leah Tiki Torches Ramona’s Lawn, the Chefs Conduct Flavor Profiles & Up


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

It’s flashback Thursday in Port Charles.

Sonny says he was thinking about how memories define us. We go down Mike Memory Lane; being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, the Nurses Ball when Sonny helped him sing, Mike’s tantrum on Thanksgiving, and Sonny’s decision to move Mike to Turning Woods.

On the phone, Carly says, the Nurses Ball is coming up. She needs the renovations completed, so the attendees can stay over. She expects to hear from them by 5 pm tonight. Cyrus walks in, and says he hopes he’s not interrupting. She says she already told him, they can’t accommodate him. He says he’s meeting someone there, and she suggests they meet somewhere else. Lulu comes in, and thanks him for meeting her. He says he was just explaining to Carly that she invited him to meet there. Lulu says Cyrus is giving an interview to The Invader, and Carly says, next time Lulu wants to interview a drug trafficker, do it somewhere else. Carly walks off, and Cyrus asks if Lulu would prefer another venue, but she says, no. It’s okay. She already reserved a table.

Mac tells Jordan, the hospital security cameras couldn’t get much on the van that dropped off TJ. Officers are canvasing the area to find out if any witnesses noted the license plate. Chase is also coordinating with the detectives in the field. There’s a knock at the door, and Curtis comes in with coffee. Mac says, the department is doing everything in its power to get justice for TJ. He leaves, and Curtis says she didn’t expect Mac not to investigate, did she? She says she never thought it would be so public. She prays TJ doesn’t remember, especially anything connected to Cyrus.

Sam goes into Charlie’s, where Kristina is working behind the bar. She asks if Sam wants her usual; cream, no sugar. Sam says Kristina knows her well, but she came to see how Kristina is doing, since she’s been preoccupied with Molly. Kristina says, for once, her life is drama free. Julian gave her a raise she didn’t ask for. She doesn’t know what she did to make him feel guilty enough to pay her extra. Sam says it’s nothing Kristina did; it’s what Julian did. He made trouble for their mom.

Alexis meets Neil, who’s now sporting a beard, at the MetroCourt. He says they have a lot to discuss. He didn’t want to do it at the hospital, since it’s so public, and since he can’t practice there, he doesn’t have an office. She says she’s sorry his license was revoked, and he says, never mind him. What about her? She says she hasn’t heard from the Bar. She knows they’ll have an issue with her lying under oath, but it’s not an issue that she slept with him, so there’s that. They can be seen in public like normal people. He says, it’s like a first date.

Sonny is waiting for Carly in her office, and she asks how it went. He says, with Mike? Not good. She asks if he got her text, and he says, sorry. His phone was on silent. He’s been looking at the remodel, and thinks she did a fantastic job. She asks if he really likes it, and he says, it seems unfair. They want to remodel, so they find an architect, approve the designs, and pay for it. Problem solved. With his father, it doesn’t matter how much money he spends, how many doctors he talks to, or what tests they run. He’s losing his father to the disease a little more every day, and there’s nothing he can do about it. She hugs him, and he says, sorry. What was her text about? She says, Cyrus Renault.

Cyrus looks around, and Lulu asks if he’s worried his enemies are lurking and going to take him out during the interview. He says his only enemy there seems to be Carly. Lulu says she can smooth things over there, but Cyrus was allegedly involved in a turf war, so Carly’s husband might be a different matter. He says he reached out to Sonny, one businessman to another, but Sonny wasn’t interested. Sonny might have been misled by his wrongful conviction. She asks him to tell her about it, and he says, corrupt members of law enforcement manufactured evidence that put him in prison. Now he’s free to make a fresh start in Port Charles. She asks what his profession is, and he says he’s an investor. She asks what kinds of things he invests in, and he says, whatever catches his interest and is profitable. It’s all open and above board. She asks how his investments came to the attention of the DEA. We flash back to Jordan visiting Cyrus in prison. He says Jordan had been his right hand, and asks if she remembers those days. Do they haunt her; the things she did? Jordan says he gave the orders, and made things happen, and he asks if she was always a traitor, or did someone turn her? She asks what he thinks, and he says if she came to embarrass him, mission accomplished. To admit one traitor is a mistake, but four? To paraphrase, Oscar Wilde, it sounds like carelessness. He hopes her associates are okay.

Cyrus tells Lulu that he’s a very successful man who’s making a lot of money. People tend to be jealous. When they couldn’t find evidence, they invented it. She asks if he’s holding any grudges, but he says, absolutely not. He lives in the present, not the past. He sees his mission as improving lives and contributing to the betterment of the community. She says, it sounds noble, but the only way he can gain the support of her readers is to give more personal details. Why did he relocate? Does he have family or friends there? There’s nothing about his personal life online. Laura approaches the table, and he says her timing is impeccable. Lulu says, mom? and he says, Laura is her mother? He should have put it together; two attractive, intelligent women being related. Laura says he didn’t do his homework on her? How careless. She did all of her homework on him.

Alexis says if Neil wants to fight the accreditation board – and she thinks he should – count her in. He thinks it’s too soon for his next move, and she says, nothing is stopping them or getting in the way of them seeing each other. Neil says they can finally discover why they can’t resist the urge to be together, no matter what the cost. We flash back to Alexis and Neil meeting at the opera, and Neil coming to her hotel room later. He says that’s why he invited her; to find out what’s next for both of them.

Jason stands on the pier, and we flash back to the early days when he, Sam, and the rest of us were all infants. We see Sam pregnant; the two of them vowing their love forever; dancing at the Chinese restaurant; goofing around, and Jason winning a stuffed toy for Sam at the fair. We move to them being on the run, getting busy, and getting married. We go back to Jason rescuing Sam from the water when he came back after five years, and revealing himself to her at the hospital. We see them watching fireworks on the Haunted Star, escaping the earthquake, and Sam telling Jason she never stopped loving him.

Kristina asks Sam what Julian did to their mom, but Sam thinks Alexis should tell her. She always finds her courage. Kristina says, cryptic, but true. Brando comes in, and asks if his order is ready. Kristina asks his name, and he says, Brando Corbin. Sam says, as in Mike? and he says, Mike is his second cousin. Kristina says, that makes them cousins too, and introduces herself and Sam. She says Sonny is her dad. He’s not Sam’s dad, but she’s a qualifying Corinthos. Brando says Sam is a heroine, but Sam says she wouldn’t take it that far. He says she rescued Dev from Shiloh. It was a messed up situation. He doesn’t get how anyone can fall for that mumbo jumbo cult stuff. We flash back to Kristina telling Jason about Dawn of Day, and that it’s the best thing that ever happened to her. We see Molly telling Kristina, it’s all she talks about. Kristina says, it transformed her life, and Molly says, more like taken over. We move to Jason rescuing Kristina.

Felix sees TJ is back work, on crutches no less. Impressive, and a touch masochistic. TJ says he missed a lot of work. It’s time to get back in the game. Felix asks if he remembers anything, and TJ says he’s trying. Felix says he will. Molly comes by, and hopes TJ is checking his every move with his orthopedist. She doesn’t think making the rounds on crutches is good for his leg. He says she’s already in domestic partner mode, then asks if that sounds clinical. She says they’re the most romantic words she ever heard. She’s just making sure he’s okay. She’s meeting her sisters at Charlie’s. She’s going to let them know that she and TJ are going to be an official couple in the eyes of the law. He says, sorry he can’t drive her. When is her car out of the shop? She says, soon she hopes. He’s glad she wasn’t hurt, and she says, who knew going over a curb could cause so much trouble? He says she knows he’d never leave her. We flash back to Jordan telling Molly to get over TJ. He doesn’t want to see her. Grow up, and accept there are consequences for her actions. She broke TJ’s heart.

Molly tells TJ, she knows now. Even his mom thought he’d ghosted her. She tells him, go save some lives. She’ll see him soon.

Jordan tells Curtis, the department can’t tie TJ’s abduction to Cyrus. Cyrus might hurt TJ even worse. Curtis says, if they don’t, Cyrus is free to set up shop, using her to make it easy. She says she has a pretty good idea of what Cyrus is planning. How does she stop him without risking TJ’s life, or his, or the lives of everyone she loves?

Carly tells Sonny, Lulu asked Cyrus to meet her at the MetroCourt for an interview, so she couldn’t throw him out. Sonny says, Laura must have told Lulu Cyrus was a threat, and Carly says she guesses Lulu picked the MetroCourt because she felt safe. Cyrus is a free man. Sonny says, he had Lulu’s mother shot, but until they can prove it, he’s just another businessman. Jason arrives, and says Cyrus is at the MetroCourt. Carly says she was just telling Sonny, and Sonny asks if Jason had any pushback from canceling the meeting. Jason says, Cyrus wasn’t happy, but Mike is more important. Sonny says he was thinking about it, and Mike started going downhill after the ambush in Brooklyn. We flash back to Mike telling Sonny, he doesn’t want to do this anymore; Mike saying he saying doesn’t know Brando; and telling Sonny that he’s tired. Mike tells Sonny, once they’re back in Bensonhurst, it will be all right.

Carly tells Sonny, Mike was going down before that. That’s why Sonny wanted to get him into the Alzheimer’s trial. Sonny says, afterwards, Mike was so shaken, he couldn’t go back to enroll. A lost opportunity to improve Mike’s brain function. Jason says, maybe, and Sonny says, you never know. Cyrus tried to take him out in front of his father.

Jordan wonders if she should go to the Feds and confess that she’s just as culpable, but Curtis says, no. She’ll go to prison, and Cyrus will remain free. She says she could tell them about TJ being abducted, and Curtis says, based on what? She knows how well Cyrus covers his tracks. Is there any guarantee they’ll find proof? We flash back to Cyrus telling Jordan there’s not much to do in solitary, except be philosophical. Thinking about all the wrongs he has left to right. She asks what he wants; obviously, it’s not to kill her.

Jordan tells Curtis, maybe TJ will remember something incriminating. He says, a moment ago, she was hoping he wouldn’t.

Mac asks TJ if he’s got a minute, and TJ says he was about to take a break. Mac says they’re doing everything to find out who abducted him, and TJ says, Chase took his statement. Mac says he thought he’d follow up and see if TJ remembers anything new. TJ says he’s thought a lot about it, but nothing comes to mind. Mac says, any detail, even if it seems insignificant, will help.

Kristina says she’ll check on Brando’s order, and goes into the kitchen. Brando asks Sam if he said something wrong, and she says, Kristina was part of DoD. She escaped, but it was a long and painful process. It was scary for the family – and Kristina. Next time, Brando might want to keep his opinions to himself. Kristina comes back with his order, and says he paid online, so they’re good. He says, no; they’re not. He wants to apologize. He was out of line. Molly looks through the window, and sees Brando talking with Kristina. We flash back to Molly being at the garage and kissing Brando. We see her finding out TJ was kidnapped, and telling Brando, it was a mistake and never happened.

Neil says, Alexis has to admit, it’s been an insane couple of weeks. She asks what the odds are that they’d be seated next to each other at the opera, and Britt would be in the same hotel. Neil says, and Alexis telling her ex about it. Alexis still can’t believe Julian felt justified to attack Neil like a feral Neanderthal. Then announcing she and Neil slept together. At the hospital. He says maybe if they hadn’t slept together and lied about it, Sam wouldn’t have said what she did. Alexis says Sam’s words weren’t as hurtful as her taking a drink. She asks if he’s angry; he sounds angry. He says that’s because he is, and she asks, at her or himself. He says, both.

Brando tells Kristina, he’s sorry for making a snap judgement. He didn’t know his mouth was big enough for a size 10. She says, you learn something new every day, and he says let him make it up to her. Whenever her car needs something, come to his shop, and he’ll give her a discount. He leaves, and Kristina says, he couldn’t offer it for free? which is exactly what I was thinking. Sam says, he’s just an opinionated jerk. Outside, Molly asks Brando what he’s doing there. He says, picking up food, and she asks why he was talking to her sisters.

Mac tells TJ, start at the beginning. What he remembers before the abduction. TJ says he was upset about something personal, and figured he’s walk it off, and clear his head. Mac asks if he remembers where he was, but TJ isn’t sure. He heard a car behind him, as he was about to reach the corner. Elm and 10th. Mac says, it’s deserted there at night, and TJ says, the next thing he knew, they jumped him. They wrestled him to the sidewalk, and put a sack over his head. Mac asks, how many? and TJ says, two. He tried to fight back, but they tied his hands and beat him up. Mac says, keep going, and TJ says he thinks he blacked out. The next thing he remembers is being in the back of a van; there was a sense of room. The muffler was loud, and woke him up. He thought he might be concussed, so he tried to stay awake. Mac asks if he remembers which way they were headed, and TJ says, after a few left turns, they stopped. He heard a train horn. Mac says, the nearest crossing by Elm and 10th is Dockery. How long was the ride? TJ thinks ten or fifteen minutes. They chloroformed him before he could identify anyone. He came to in a basement. Mac asks if he remembers any sounds or smells, and TJ says he remembers both.

Curtis tells Jordan, going to the Feds isn’t an option. If they haul Cyrus in based on her word, and can’t find a shred of evidence, they’ll be forced to let him go. Cyrus will be out in Port Charles, thinking of a way to get even. Jordan says, unless she tells them about Harmony. Harmony can cut a deal, and  they can put her in the witness protection program. Curtis loves her crystal ball, but as soon as Cyrus finds out Harmony is talking, she’s a dead woman, along with anyone willing to turn state’s evidence. We flash back to Cyrus saying, no locked, windowless room, no mayor, no Commissioner, nothing can keep a determined man from getting what he wants.

Jordan tells Curtis, she’s boxed in, with nothing to do but cooperate.

Cyrus tells Lulu, her mother is concerned for his safety. She insisted he return to Seattle, but when he said he wanted to make his home there, she told him that if he was killed, she’d bring his perpetrators to justice. Lulu says her mother cares about all of her constituents, no matter who they are. He says he’s proud to call himself one of Port Charles’s citizens, and he’s going to work hard be an asset. He’s going to start by contributing to Laura’s campaign.

Sonny tells Carly and Jason, Elizabeth thinks his father should have a DNR. Carly asks what Sonny thinks, and he says, he thinks it’s too soon. Jason says Elizabeth is the best nurse there, and Sonny says, she also suggested palliative care. If something happens, they’ll make sure Mike is in no pain, but they can’t give him treatment. Carly asks what Mike thinks, and Sonny says, Mike didn’t say a lot. He was unfocused. They did have a great moment when he was feeding Mike. Mike liked it, and he could see his dad was still in there. Sonny smiles.

On Monday, Laura looks forward to hearing Cyrus’s decision, Alexis gets an email from the NY Bar Association, and Sonny wants to get it over with.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona apologizes not giving Lu Ann her room. LuAnn says, it’s not about that. It’s that she wasn’t considered, and she was hurt. The spiders and the smell were the worst. She says Ramona knows she’s not a spoiled brat. Ramona says she was wrong, and please come back. LuAnn says she’s going to kick Ramona’s ass at tennis, and she’s sleeping at her own house. Leah says, only in the Hamptons is it like, bitch, I’ll see you on the tennis court. Dorinda doesn’t want to go to the party tonight, and wants to stay home. In Ramona’s interview, she says, it’s her friend’s birthday party in Sag Harbor. She loves the women, but not that much. She wants to get some action; food, wine, dancing, and men. She reminds Sonja about how Elyse called her a trophy wife, and she kept telling Elyse to take it back. Tinsley says, then Sonja threw it on her. Sonja says she was a hard-working wife, and Tinsley says she was too. Sonja asks where the shoe repair place was in her neighborhood, and Tinsley says she’s not getting on this loop. In Leah’s interview, she says, the first rule of a trophy wife is, if you have to explain why you weren’t a trophy wife, you probably were a trophy wife. Leah says Sonja said the same thing to Tinsley that she found offensive.

Tennis coach Adriano comes to Ramona’s. In her interview, she says he’s the hottest tennis pro in Hamptons. LuAnn arrives, and in her interview, says she doesn’t think Ramona stuck her in the basement on purpose; Ramona just doesn’t think. LuAnn isn’t letting it ruin her weekend. She tells Ramona, don’t try to be nice; it’s not her M.O. Ramona says even though there’s a party tonight, she’s going to hang out with her friends, since they’re more important. Dorinda comes out, and asks if their midnight rider is back. In Dorinda’s interview, Ramona uses the 80s method of hiring people. They have to be good-looking, fit, and somewhat datable. This has nothing to do with tennis. LuAnn is competitive, and wants to beat Ramona, and Ramona will just pretend to play while her boobs are hanging out. LuAnn wins the match. Dorinda says she’s never played, and plays better than Ramona.

Leah tells Tinsley, she loves Sonja, but Sonja needs to stop saying she married the bank. We see a clip of drunk Sonja yapping about her private island and yacht. She says, it’s sad that Sonja won’t move on. In Leah’s interview, she says it’s strange how she knows so much about the life Sonja used to live, but nothing about the life she’s living now. The yacht has sailed, and she needs to get over it. LuAnn grills Adriano on his personal life, and he says it’s hard to meet someone in Manhattan. LuAnn says it could happen when he least expects it. It could happen today. He’s like, maybe not.

Ramona has problems with the grill, while Dorinda makes frozé. In her interview, Dorinda thinks what LuAnn went through was intense and difficult, but she’s getting past it. Ramona bitches about no one helping, and whines that there’s no silverware out. Leah explains the silverware is in the napkins. Dorinda and LuAnn get pissed about how Ramona is talking to Leah. In Dorinda’s interview, she wonders if they’re staying there, or working for Ramona. What’s the hourly wage? Leah says that’s how her family talks to each other, and in her interview, says she was raised to respect her elders, so she lets Ramona get away with it – for now. Ramona screeches for help with the grill. In her interview, she says Mario was always in charge of grilling.

They sit down to eat, and Ramona says she was telling LuAnn about their conversation on vulnerability. She asks if LuAnn would like to add something. LuAnn says it’s hard for her not to drink. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, the hard part is knowing she can drink if she wants, but is choosing not to. Right now, she wishes she was back in the game with the girls. She tells them, it’s a challenge for her, and the first time she’s felt that way in a while. In Sonja’s interview, she says she’s proud of where LuAnn is; that she can be open and honest. LuAnn says it would be fine if she drank, but she’d be upset with herself. In her interview, she says she made a resolve not to drink. In Leah’s interview, she says there’s probably so much going through LeeAnn’s mind. The same stuff was going through hers when she decided to start drinking, but LuAnn has to make that decision for herself. Ramona says she’s proud of LuAnn.

Dog groomers Ed and Michael arrive to groom Sonja’s Marley. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Michael is a hot guy. She’d like to be groomed. Sonja says, it’s a full-service house, with tennis and dog grooming, and delivers Marley to them. Michael bathes Marley in the sink, and LuAnn asks if he needs help. She tells him that she has a Westie. Ramona comes in, and in her interview, she says, if there’s a man in the house, LuAnn is on it. People think she’s the biggest flirt, but LuAnn is. Marley also gets a massage, and Michael massages LuAnn’s neck. She says he has great hands, and asks if he makes house calls. Sonja dances in front of the dog hair dryer.

They get ready for dinner, having decided to stay in. Dorinda says she doesn’t do well at big parties, and she’s bored with herself. Tinsley says she’s a stage mom with her dogs. Leah asks if Ramona needs help, but Ramona says, no, and Dorinda says Ramona would just yell at her anyway. Leah says she’s glad they’re staying in. She doesn’t have to worry about any weird white guys showing up. Weird white guy Jeff arrives. Ramona says he’s a friend, makes great lasagna, and is a great pianist. Leah says, it’s a p*ssy party, and wonders why there’s one penis in the room. In Ramona’s interview, she says everyone is going to her friend’s party, but the girls didn’t want to go. She tells Sonja that she called different guys, and he’s the only one who showed up. Leah drinks out of a glass that she thought was cranberry juice, and Tinsley tells her there’s vodka in there. In Tinsley’s interview, she thinks as long as she’s around, Leah won’t go off the deep end… hopefully… maybe… They play beer pong with plastic champagne glasses. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, they’re more like frat guys getting wasted. There are times she misses drinking, but tonight isn’t one of them. She can’t help but watch, and think, is this how she was when she was drunk? Elyse joins them, and Sonja attacks Tinsley with a vibrator. Jeff wisely decides to make an exit. Sonja says, this is the best party ever.

Dorinda says Ramona hurt her feelings, saying she’d be done with John in two years. We see a clip of Ramona saying just that to a guy at the party the night before. LuAnn says, Ramona is so insensitive. Outside, Tinsley says she’s getting naked, and Leah says she’s going stir crazy. There’s only so much talk about yachts and declassé she can take. Leah and Tinsley get in the pool, Tinsley in her underwear, and Leah without anything. Leah tries to put out a torch by flinging Dom Perignon at it. Inside, Dorinda says, it’s not always great with John, but he’s different choice for her. She accepted John into her life as a friend, and he’s family to her now. She’s about the foundation of the house. Ramona says, what if John is getting girl’s phone numbers? Would Dorinda be upset?  Dorinda asks why she’s saying that. It’s an a-hole thing to say. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, one thing she knows for sure, John never flirted with Ramona. LuAnn asks why Ramona is rolling her eyes, and Ramona says one of the girls told her John was getting numbers. In Ramona’s interview, she says Dorinda became a different person after John, and she’s not totally happy. Ramona thinks Dorinda realizes it down deep. Elyse says Ramona is mean, and in LuAnn’s interview, she says, Ramona has no bedside manner. She’s the Dr. Kevorkian of delivering messages. Sonja goes outside, and Leah says, take it off – now. Leah flings a torch across the lawn, and Sonja flings another one. Leah chases her around the pool, and says she hates the torches. Sonja gets nakey, and gets in the pool with a bottle of champagne. She says she feels young and fun. Leah says Dorinda is judging them, but Sonja says, Dorinda’s not judgy.

Dorinda tells Ramona, don’t say anything mean again. In Ramona’s interview, she says, no one could get that John wasn’t like Richard. He’s not as well-spoken, intelligent, or dignified. We flash back to John asking Ramona to leave one of Dorinda’s parties, with Ramona looking pretty undignified herself. Ramona says, people wonder what Dorinda is doing with him. Tinsley takes her top off, and Leah tells LuAnn to get in the pool. LuAnn says, let her think about it, and goes back inside. Which means she didn’t even have to think about it. It’s just no.

LuAnn tells the others, the girls are in the pool naked. Leah, Tinsley, and Sonja come back inside. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she can’t believe Tinsley. She won’t even wear a bathing suit without a wrap. What would Dale think? Leah comes in wearing a sheer top with no bra, and Dorinda tells her to cover up. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s too much. For the first time in a long time, she’s speechless. She steers Leah into one of the bedrooms. We hear her comment that Leah’s lady parts have wings, and Leah comes back out, wearing a leopard bustier under her blouse. Tinsley slurps spaghetti. Ramona says she’s leaving for the party, and LuAnn can’t believe it. In Ramona’s interview, she says all of them were invited. They’re going to drink themselves to sleep, and she’s not staying home. She tells Sonja that she’s seeing her superficial friends. In Sonja’s interview, she says, this is a new low. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, you shouldn’t leave your guests. Ramona gets the worst hostess award. Elyse says, Ramona has to go. The cost might be that she doesn’t meet a man. Sonja gets loud and animated, bringing up Elyse saying she was just an accessory when she was married. Leah says, that ship sailed, but Sonja says she wants to talk about what Elyse said. Leah yells, 1985 is over! In her interview, Sonja wonders when the party became occupy the Hamptons, She says Leah has a chip on her shoulder, and Sonja says Dorinda didn’t want her to put the family logo on her shoes. We flash back to Dorinda saying she thought it was mortifying. Sonja says she’s in the Blue Book. I fail to see how this is some kind of great achievement, but then again, I’m not in the Blue Book. Sonja and Leah scream at each other for a minute. In Tinsley’s interview, she says, maybe this is why Leah stopped drinking. Leah tells Tinsley not to get socialite on her, and Sonja calls Leah a hater. Leah says she’s not. She just wants Sonja to let it go. Sonja goes in the bathroom, saying, Leah never lived it. Leah follows her, and Sonja gets in Leah’s face, saying, Tinsley built a brand based on marrying a Mortimer. They end up hugging it out, although I’ll be damned if I know how they got there. Elyse says, if they all went into group therapy, the therapist would end up in an asylum.   

The next morning, it’s a mess outside – tikis everywhere, broken glass, a champagne bottle floating in the pool. Dorinda demands that Sonja do some facial masks with her. In Sonja’s interview, she says she feels hurt about Leah’s assumptions. She tells Dorinda, Ramona is going to go apesh*t. Leah is downstairs when Ramona sees the mess. The kitchen is also a nightmare, food everywhere, a pair of glasses in a wineglass, and a vibrator in a plate of chicken. I don’t even want to think about it. I also have to say it. I have gotten my drink on in my day, but I have never trashed a place. Not once. And I’ve been to some wild parties and seedy bars. Ramona says she has to laugh or she’ll cry. She’s actually taking it better than I would. Leah says she doesn’t want to look outside, so Ramona goes outside. She says, not cool. In her interview, she says, talk about no respect. She yells for Dorinda and Sonja to get their asses down there. In her interview, Leah says, her memory is a little cloudy… Oh yeah, the tiki torches. She remembers getting mad at them.

Sonja brushes Marley’s hair, and Dorinda says, that’s her brush. Sonja says, sorry; she’s used to doing that. Ramona stomps upstairs, and they hide under the blanket. Ramona says she feels like getting the strap out like her father did. She asks what went on outside? and Dorinda says Ramona left her own party. Ramona says she’s on a mission to find a partner, and she got a date. Sonja says, there’s something new, and outs Leah for throwing a tiki torch, but admits she threw one too. Dorinda says she wasn’t a part of it. Ramona goes back down to the kitchen, which Leah has somehow miraculously cleaned up in a New York minute. Ramona says she was informed that Leah started the tiki fight. In Leah’s interview, she says sometimes she’s extra, and sometimes she drinks extra. She didn’t hurt anyone. Ramona asks her to at least pick up the torches. In her interview, Ramona says, Leah is no dumb cookie. She’d said she hadn’t done it, but cleaned up the kitchen so fast, Ramona can hardly be angry at her.

Ramona tells Dorinda, she’s never woken up to a kitchen looking like that, but Dorinda says she can’t expect her guests to clean at night. She hires help when she has guests, and Ramona should have stayed there. She could have initiated them all cleaning up together. Leah is surprised that Ramona left, having not noticed the night before. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she knows what it’s like. Ramona has cajones. She tells Ramona, karma’s a bitch, and tells Leah about Ramona ripping the lights off the bedroom walls in Dorinda’s house in the Berkshires. We flash back to that, and Dorinda saying she was horrified. Ramona says she was fine until she went outside. Leah says, it’s not that bad; she thinks the kitchen was worse.

Ramona and Dorinda go outside, and Dorinda agrees, saying, it’s ridiculous. It’s like a frat house. Leah says she takes responsibility for the torches. She felt like she was in Game of Thrones. Dorinda says she thought she was at the Playboy mansion. Dorinda wonders where Tinsley is, and we see her tucked into bed, the plate of leftover spaghetti next to her.

Next time, Sonja has a show at New York Fashion Week, Tinsley talks about her mother, and Leah thinks Sonja is full of sh*t and passive/aggressive.

👩🏼‍🍳 On Top Chef, in the Quickfire challenge, the chefs had to make a dish using flour, but not all purpose flour. This time, there would be no immunity, but to soften the blow, the winner would receive $5000. The guest judge was award winning chef and restaurateur Chris Bianco. I was shocked at flours I’d never heard of. Tapioca flour? Garbanzo bean flour? What? Bryan full of Malarkey went for a second try with ice cream, even though his first one was a disaster. The ice cream came out fine, but the donut that was supposed to go with it, never made it to the plate at all. Gregory was the winner, with some tapioca flour pancakes topped with maple syrup, although whatever he called them sounded fancier than that.

For the elimination challenge, in celebration of the 100th season of the L.A. Philharmonic, the chefs would be feeding Gustavo Dudamel, the L.A. Philharmonic’s conductor, and 60 members of his orchestra at Otium restaurant. The guest judge would be Timothy Collingwood, owner of Otium. The chefs chose knives from the five flavor profiles – salty, sweet, sour, bitter, and umami (savory). The chefs paired up, and their two flavor profiles had to make a cohesive dish together. It was going to be a double-elimination. For inspiration, the chefs went to the Walt Disney Concert Hall, where conductor Gustavo, who started his career when he was eleven (!), talked to them about how food was like art, and he liked the similarities between food and music.

It was back to work, and Lee Anne, who had the misfortune of being paired with full of Malarkey, said shopping with him was like shopping with monkeys on crack.

The judges were looking for the team who was true to the challenge, the flavor profile, and themselves. Melissa and Kevin were the winners with a salty and sweet cabbage thing. When it was time to decide who was going, and the judges talked among themselves, Padma looked as stern as I’ve ever seen her. Gail said two chefs would be going home for fantastic food, and it felt wrong. They’re now at that point, as happens in every competition, where everyone is good, and they have to get picky. Nini and Karen had to pack their knives and go for their umami and sour fish offering. In her interview, Karen said there wasn’t just a personal sadness, but a double layer of guilt. Nini said her curse was to be in a double elimination. Tom told them not to go just yet, as they were going right into Last Chance Kitchen. Thanks for the warning.

Next time, not only will the chefs be using a machete, Machete will be there when Danny Trejo (one of my favorites) is a guest.

🥜 Sometimes You Feel Like a Weekend…

We’ve gotten to that time in the week that feels weird for some of you right now. Tomorrow’s Friday, but it doesn’t have that buoyant feel it did not that long ago. That’s right, it wasn’t that long ago, it won’t be long now, and you’re still here. Relax. Stay safe, stay watching TV that’s not all news, and stay in your lane. Or not.

April 16, 2020 – Snake Not On a Plane, Sonja Was Not a Trophy Wife, John’s Choice, Chefs Go To Market, Camp Coming & Closer


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I swear, I could get up at 5 am, and still be running late around 3 pm. I missed the beginning, but from what I could hear, it sounded like they were just reviewing the end of yesterday’s episode.

At the hospital, Michael tells Sasha it would be nice to paint Nelle as a demon, and have her banished to a parallel dimension. Sasha says she can picture Diane making that argument, and Michael says, Diane is so good, she’d probably make it halfway through the argument before the judge would realize, and hold her in contempt. Sasha likes the Wizard of Oz approach. Bringing Nelle and Michael up front, and dumping a bucket of water on them, to see who doesn’t melt. Carly comes by, and says, that sounds good. Sasha says she’s getting punchy, and Carly says, long hours at the hospital will do that. Who wouldn’t want to see Nelle turn into a green puddle? Michael gets serious, and says he can’t afford to think like that. If he’s wrong, Wiley pays.

At Violet’s party, Maxie tells Robert, now that Obrecht is going to the Hague, can he drop his vendetta against Peter? He says he doesn’t have a vendetta, but she says, whatever he’s calling it, instead of treating Peter like a suspect, why doesn’t he see what they have in common? He says, those they love? and she says, besides that. He says he can’t think of anything, and she says Obrecht tried to kill them both. Robert is used to bouncing back, but Peter has suffered enough. He says, that’s a matter of opinion, and Maxie says she’s known Robert literally her entire life. He says that’s why he wants what’s best for her, and she says he needs to accept what’s best for her is her own decision; like she needs to accept he’ll never see Peter for the wonderful man he is. We flash back to Robert asking Anna if it ever occurred to her that Peter could be Alex’s son. It’s her big chance to sever all ties to Faison. Anna says she’ll never abandon Peter, and Robert says, Peter is an adult, and every bit as treacherous and sadistic as his father. We move to Peter saying, Robert knows he went to Pentenville to visit Shiloh, and Robert saying, but he doesn’t know why. Why doesn’t Peter shine some light on that? We go to Robert telling Peter that his family doesn’t see the dark side of him, but they will. Peter says it kills Robert that the people he cares about, care about and love Peter. There’s nothing he can do to convince Robert, so let those they care about speak for him. Robert says Peter thinks highly of himself. It was Faison’s undoing, and will be Peter’s too. Next, Robert tells Anna that something is wrong. If she wants to deny what’s in front of her face, that’s one thing, but if she denies what’s in her heart, it might come back to bite her. We shift to Robert asking Anna how long Jason has been suspicious, and telling her that she has a Peter-sized blind spot. It’s going to get her into trouble, and when Peter goes down, Robert doesn’t want Anna going with him. There are things in the works, and they’re going to show her what her would-be son is really like. We flash back to Robert accusing Peter of shopping his deal with Sam and Jason to the AG. Peter asks why it matters, unless Robert is up to something shady. Robert thanks Peter for getting him off this production. Now it’s just Peter and Jason. He knows Jason is a trained killer, and Jason knows the truth. He’s coming to get Peter, and this time Anna’s not going to be able to save his sorry butt. In the present, Robert tells Maxie, she’s right. He’s never going to see what she does. Good party. He leaves, she sighs, and Peter walks in, no doubt from listening in the next room.

In the park, Chase tells Willow, maybe they shouldn’t have gone to the party. She says they couldn’t have missed Violet’s birthday extravaganza, but he says he sees what it did to her. She says, it’s not the party; it’s the day. He should go back. He says, and leave her alone? but she says she can handle a walk by herself; she’s resourceful. He says she’s one of the most resourceful people he knows, but it’s how it weighs on her that Nelle might get custody. She says, it’s one thing if Nelle objects to elective surgery, but what if Wiley gets worse and she still refuses? He says, Michael has excellent lawyers, and she says, but what if it’s not enough? He says she’s been more of a mother to Wiley than Nelle, and she says, but she’s not his mother.

Olivia sees Robert heading for the door, and says, sneaking out? He says, guilty. He needs her to do him a big favor. She says, it depends on what it is, and he says he has some pressing business to take care of, but he doesn’t want to disappoint Violet or Anna. She says he could play the didgeridoo one more time, and see how Anna feels. He says it’s complicated, and he needs a bit of a cover created. If someone asks if they’ve seen him, she can say she saw him in the kitchen or the garden. If she does that, he would be so much in her debt. She likes the sound of that, and says she’s got it.

On the phone, Peter says he needs the distraction now. The sooner the better. Make it happen.

Aiden goes inside, and Charlotte follows, but Ava is behind her with Avery. Ava says she’s been telling Avery about Charlotte’s horse. It’s too soon for Avery to have lessons, but Avery loves horses. Avery says she and her grandfather had a sleepover with them in the stables. Ava says maybe Avery could watch Charlotte ride, or maybe have a horse of her own. Charlotte tells Avery, the back stall at Windymere is the best. Butterscotch used to have it, but Charlotte doesn’t live there anymore. Avery asks if Charlotte used to live in the big house, and Ava says, Charlotte did, but she and Nikolas live in the house now. She takes Avery back to the party.

Aiden reaches for the piñata, but Charlotte says, don’t touch it! He says he’s not going to hurt it, and she says she’s sorry she yelled. There’s a big surprise in there, and everybody needs to be here to see it.

Jason tells Sonny, he gave Anna a heads up for him, and she said thank you. She hasn’t seen anything out of order, but she’ll keep her eyes open. Then, a half hour later, Cyrus called, asking to meet with Sonny, and for Jason to relay the message. Sonny says, one thing about Cyrus, he’s doing it the right way.

Maxie tells Peter, he missed Georgie getting her fortune told. It was quite an event, but she has it on video. He says he has Invader business to tend to, and she asks if he has to duck out. He promises it’s important, and says he already told Anna goodbye. She says she’ll stay and sit back, watching the kids fight for candy like a teeny Hunger Games, where no one has to die. He says he’ll see her later. We flash back to Maxie in the cemetery, thanking Peter for saving her and the baby, and saying, Nathan would thank him too. We move to her saying that she’s lucky to have Peter in her life, accepting the fund for Nathan, and telling him that the rest of the family will come around. Peter feels the baby kick, and Maxie says she keeps wondering who he’ll be like; her or Nathan. Peter guesses, a little of both, and she says she can’t wait to meet him. Peter says, that makes two of them. Next, Peter asks Maxie to accompany him to the Nurses Ball, Maxie goes into labor on the way, and Peter delivers the baby by the side of the road. We flash back to Maxie telling Peter that she had to atone for mistakes she made too. He says she’s come a long way; maybe there’s hope for him too. We go through their relationship so far; Peter saying she’s his only true friend, and he’ll forever be sorry for hurting her; Maxie saying that being stuck in the elevator with him, personalized her being done with bitterness, and considering she’s been forgiven, it’s her only way to pay it forward; Peter telling Maxie that he cares more about her than anyone he’s ever cared for, and Maxie saying he’s the first person who’s made her feel this way since Nathan; Peter taking Maxie to Paris on a private jet, but them getting stuck in Toronto instead. We see their first kiss, deciding to move in together, and their first Christmas when Maxie gave Peter a personalized stocking, telling him that he’s officially family and she loves him. He tells her that he never had one, and it’s funny how the smallest things get you. We end with Maxie telling Peter, nobody can come between them, except them.

Robert sneaks into Peter and Maxie’s place. We flash back to Anna telling him that he’s targeting Peter, and asking, why can’t he accept the official story? Why can’t he leave it alone? He says he can’t, and she says, there’s no immediate danger or imminent threat. He’s looked the other way before. There’s no reason for him to be digging, except for his almighty ego, and need to be right. He says he’s not going to watch her wreck herself for a murdering SOB. In the apartment, he says, okay, Henrik. Let’s see what you’re hiding.

Franco asks Aiden, what’s up? and tells him to grab the piñata. Aiden tells him, Charlotte said to leave it alone, and Franco suggests they look at it. Ava tells Elizabeth, if someone had said years ago, that Franco would find happiness showing a child a non-violent piñata, she wouldn’t have believed it. Elizabeth says, he’s changed, and Ava says he’s truly, genuinely happy, and it’s all because of Elizabeth. Elizabeth says, they’re pretty happy together, and Ava wishes she could say the same about her and Nikolas. In the beginning, she thought they were a good match; two outsiders, comforting each other. Now she’s not so sure. Elizabeth says they’re completely different people. Ava is an extrovert, and Nikolas has spent his life under the mercy of other people’s opinions. If he did something bad, it wasn’t bad enough, but if he did something good, it wasn’t good enough. He’s given up on his better angel from time to time. Ava says, no wonder he’s lonely. He puts up a great front, but when he’s home alone, he walks through the house, practically haunting it. He had such high hopes for his return, and he got what he wanted, but no one was happy for him. Elizabeth says, he did some reprehensible things. He should have thought twice about it, if he didn’t want to be held accountable. Ava thinks Nikolas thinks so too. It’s taking its toll. There’s an emptiness she can’t reach.

Chase tells Willow, it’s okay, but she says, it’s not. Wiley’s not a person to Nelle. He’s a means to an end; a weapon to use against Michael and his family. He knows Nelle better than anyone. Does he think if the worst happens, and Nelle gets Wiley, she can look past her selfish needs, and think about Wiley’s best interests? She sure as hell doesn’t. We flash back to Nelle in Charlie’s, saying she wants to change Wiley’s name to William; he’ll adjust. Willow tells her, Wiley is a person, and Nelle says she’s sick of Willow and her self-righteousness. She’ll raise Wiley how she pleases, and Willow needs to remember that her son is dead, and stay the hell away from Nelle’s. Willow throws a drink on Nelle. In the park, she tells Chase, sorry she keeps going on about it. Between her and Michael, it’s probably all he hears. He says, there’s a simple solution. It’s not easy, but the way to improve Michael’s chances in fighting Nelle is for Willow to marry him.

Michael tells Carly and Sasha, he keeps going back to Diane’s strategy. It won’t do any good to make Nelle look bad; he has to look good. Carly says, it’s not an acrimonious divorce. It’s not he said she said. Nelle’s crimes are a matter of public record. He says, if he piles it on Nele, it might make the judge more sympathetic. If he calls her out for the horrible, deranged things she’s done, it could backfire, and she could be seen as a victim. We flash back to Nelle being in the hospital, and Michael saying he’s not going anywhere. We move to Nelle saying she admires Carly as a mother. She made a mistake, but at least understand that she wanted to name the baby Morgan to honor him. Let her make things right. We see Nelle telling Michael, their son didn’t make it, and saying the crash killed him. It’s Michael’s fault. He was too busy trying to get her to confess. He says, she’s blaming him? Jonah is dead because of her. She says he was the one driving. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s his. He hated her so much, he killed their baby. He’s ruined everything. We flash back to Nelle in jail, telling Carly, if only she’d known Jonah was alive. Brad ripped him from the safety of her arms. Carly says Nelle will never see Wiley again, and if the legal system doesn’t do it, she will. At the hospital, Carly tells Michael, Nelle is a master victim, and Michael says he has to show the court the reason he’s the best parent for Wiley.

Willow says, Chase told Sasha it was insane, but he says he’s had time to think. He sees Willow agonizing over Wiley, but it’s not his decision to make; it’s hers. If she wants to help, she’s got to marry Michael. If her decision is not to marry him, she’s got to take a step back, and let it be Michael’s problem, not hers. We flash back to Michael telling Willow, Nelle is great at faking it, but she’s the real thing. It’s like saccharine versus sugar. One tastes fine, until you have the real thing. She’s the real thing, and the judge would see her love for Wiley.

Sonny says Cyrus knows better than to contact him, so he’s using Jason as a go-between. Jason asks, why risk it? and Sonny asks if he thinks it’s a risk. Jason says Cyrus ambushed Sonny once, he could do it again. Sonny says, maybe Cyrus wants peace, and Jason says, on his terms. Sonny says, if they were his terms, Cyrus would be gone, and Cyrus knows this. Jason says, Cyrus just got out of prison. The last thing he wants is to be charged with another crime. Sonny could call his bluff by making a concession. Sonny says, that’s not going to happen. He needs to know Cyrus’s next move.

The kids gather around the piñata, and Finn says it’s the moment they’ve been waiting for. Is everybody ready? Anna asks if Violet wants to be first, but Violet says, let somebody else go. Anna spins Violet around, and she points to Charlotte. Charlotte suggests Avery have her turn, but Olivia says if they start messing with the rules, somebody’s feelings will get hurt. Charlotte approaches the piñata, takes a ribbon, and pulls.

Jason tells Sonny, Cyrus is fresh out of prison, far from his base of operations, and lost an expensive shipment. Sonny says, his partners are unhappy, and Jason says, Cyrus can’t come after Sonny unless he knows it will work. It’s Sonny’s city, and he has all the advantages. Sonny says, not all. Cyrus has the Police Commissioner under his thumb. Jason says, Jordan could give Cyrus room to maneuver, and clamp down on them. If Cyrus is free to operate, over time, it could hurt them. Sonny says, that’s the key – over time.

Aiden pulls a piñata ribbon, but nothing happens. Franco tells him, it’s okay. He’s in a perfect position to dive for candy. Violet is spun around, and points to another child. Charlotte looks nervous, but the other kids keep taking a turn, and nothing happens. Danny pulls a ribbon, but still nothing, and now Charlotte is like, come on. Avery is up, but the piñata still doesn’t open. It’s Violet’s turn, and Anna asks where Robert is. He’ll want to see this. Olivia says she thinks he’s on the patio.

Robert looks around, and opens drawers. The front doorknob turns.

The kids chant Violet’s name. She pulls a ribbon, and candy rains down. The kids drop to the floor, scrambling for it. Ava says, it’s precious, and digs in her bag, presumably for her camera. She drops the bag, and Nagini slithers out. Everyone screams, and Charlotte smiles.

On Monday, Robert confronts Spinelli about looking for dirt on Peter (we assume it’s Spinelli whose jiggling the doorknob), Laura tells Lulu that Valentin wants the same thing they all do, and Valentin tells Nikolas to stay away from his daughter.

Tomorrow, the episode from January 17, 2018 is listed in the guide. I can’t decipher exactly which one it is, since the blurb is vague, but it’s around the time of Jim Harvey and Nathan being revealed as Obrecht and Faison’s son.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona has made plans for the women to visit a vineyard. In her interview, she says she wants to make sure they’re not bored and fighting, so they’re going to a winery. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, surprise, surprise. LuAnn woke up complaining about her room. We see a clip where – horrors! – the Countess saw a spider, and tells everyone she’s going to the chiropractor. The women take a limo, and go to the vineyard restaurant for lunch. Leah orders merlot. In her interview, she says she’s not an alcoholic, but didn’t like what alcohol was doing to her life. She stopped drinking, but now drinks when she wants, and she’s been drinking a bit over the last six months. Ramona gets a text from LuAnn saying she can’t make it. She got her neck cracked, and the doctor told her to take it easy. She’ll see them later. In Leah’s interview, she asks, in what world would you invite someone battling sobriety to a winery, and act surprised when they don’t want to go? It’s not a big riddle. Dorinda says after only 24 hours, they got Leah to drink. Ramona says, the weekend isn’t over yet. I didn’t see them pour Leah’s wine, but WTF? It’s like maybe two sips. Either she guzzled something when I wasn’t looking, or they are cheap with a pour. At a winery. In Ramona’s interview, she says bonding means opening up with what they’re feeling inside, and we flash back to her and Bethenny discussing their fathers. She says, that’s how they get close and get to know one another, rather than talking about superficial stuff.

Ramona tells the women, she came from a disruptive household. Growing up, she would play music, and look out the window at the clouds, wondering what was out there for her. Years later, driving back from the Hamptons, she felt like she was sixteen again, questioning what was going on with her life. Dorinda says she has goosebumps, and Ramona tells them, she said, mommy, help me. Sonja is impressed with the self-realization, and says she’d thought Ramona was avoiding the topic. In Ramona’s interview, she says it’s important in life to feel safe with a person, and it scares her that she doesn’t have that in her life. Tinsley says she has the same feeling, and she doesn’t even have a child. At least all of them have had those things, and checked them off. Ramona says, it’s not a box you check, and Dorinda says she enjoys Tinsley, but she has frustration with her. It’s like how they were talking about icebergs on the Discovery channel. As big and beautiful as they are on the surface, 90% of them are under water. She feels like she’s only seeing the tip of Tinsley. It’s not about being nosey, but getting to know her. Sonja says she didn’t even know Tinsley had a new boyfriend.

Tinsley says, Bruce is from Chicago, and has three children and two ex-wives. She’s never really been around children, and was surprised she could deal with that, and be a part of the family. She doesn’t know if it’s going to be long term; she’s not used to being one of an army of people, and wonders, where does she fit in? Leah thinks Brett is being selfish. We see a clip of Leah asking Tinsley if she feels like she’s wasting her time, and Tinsley says she always feels that way. She tells the women, she probably won’t have her own kid with this guy. Every time she sees him, it’s with his family, and she needs alone time with him. Leah says, they’re also socializing with his friends. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she doesn’t like being sixth on the totem pole.

It’s Leah’s turn, and she tells everyone, after high school, her parents sent her to rehab. When they came to get her, they told her she wasn’t coming home. In her interview, she says she was an effed up teenager, and put her parents through hell. They told her that they couldn’t have her disrupting her brother’s and sister’s lives. She tells the women, her parents told her that they couldn’t have her there, and took her to a halfway house run by nuns. They drove her to a nunnery in Upstate New York, and drove off. She wondered what was happening to her life, but later realized that her mother was trying to save her life. She had to face the consequences of the things she was doing, but it gave her perseverance. She’s been though the worst. In Ramona’s interview, she says Leah had the vulnerably to confide in them, and she has empathy, since she went through a bit of that herself

Dorinda gets weepy, and says she needs another napkin. She’s been crying for a month, and doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. She says she’s scared every day, and starts to cry. Leah asks what she’s scared of, and Ramona comes around the table and hugs her. Dorinda says everyone thinks she’s strong and able. She’s the anchor for everyone’s boat, but sometimes she wants to be the boat, and be anchored by someone else. Ramona says Dorinda is overwhelmed, and Dorinda says she’s always running the show. Ramona says Dorinda does for everybody, and in Dorinda’s interview, she says, life is heavy. She wakes up worried, and goes to bed worried, and has no one to share the burden with. John never had these kinds of responsibilities. She’s tapped out. Leah says the pressure is always on women to do everything.

Ramona says Sonja is next. Sonja says she’s at the point Ramona was, wondering how she got there. She runs around, pays the bills, and has one foot in the nursing home. She didn’t sign up for this. Then you die. Dorinda says, she thought they were supposed to be expressing their hearts, and Leah wonders where the oxygen tank is. In her interview, Dorinda says, Sonja has had a couple of drinks, and she’s talking about everything except what makes her vulnerable. Stop her. Ramona looks at her phone, and says she’s checking on where she’s having her party. In her interview, she says she’s having a fabulous cocktail party at Joe Ferrell’s home. It’s stunning, and the women’s mouths are going to drop.

Back at the house, Tinsley tells Leah, she went on a date with Joe, and it was the lamest date ever. It was a basketball game. Leah says, and he didn’t even feed her or anything. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she found out he’d also dated Bethenny. He wasn’t her type, and she doesn’t think he drinks either.

LuAnn gets back, and in her interview, she says she didn’t want to miss any bonding, but she’s glad she took care of her neck. She didn’t sleep well, and between the spiders and the smell, she’s not comfortable. Dorinda asks how Ramona’s afternoon was, and Ramona admits she had had date. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s never seen a person slip in and out of dates so quickly. It’s like sliding doors. We flash back to Ramona leaving various events for a date, and Dorinda says, it’s impressive. Ramona says he was Persian, sexy, and more flirtatious than she is.

Ramona tells LuAnn to come to her bathroom to do makeup. LuAnn goes upstairs, and in her interview, Ramona says LuAnn’s floral dress does not belong in the Hamptons. It belongs in Nantucket or Atlanta. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she’s glad she missed lunch. By the looks of it, Sonja was over-served, and they’re not even at the party yet.

On the way to the party, in one limo, Ramona tells Dorinda that Joe is a major developer. In the other limo, LuAnn tells Sonja that she’s interested to see the house. Sonja says, Ramona is a social butterfly, who needs to be knocked down a notch. It’s not a good look. Sonja says she’s trying to hang onto her long term friends, but Ramona is more interested in the rent-a-crowd, party filler people. In Sonja’s interview, she says, Ramona is showing off her fancy friends, but it’s just another boring party, with stiff people, and a lot of small talk. She thinks Ramona forgot what’s important in life.

The house, named Sandcastle, is massive, and there’s a humongous mirror in the entryway. Ramona says she’s in love with it, which is no surprise. LuAnn says the house is for sale, and Sonja says no wonder they were invited. She realizes that the four of them sharing the limo – her, LuAnn, Tinsley, and Leah – all have mug shots. Leah’s says, it’s a bunch of weird white people, and in her interview, she says, it’s not the type of party she’s used to. It’s weird Eyes Wide Shut sh*t. By the end, she’s going to be taken to a back room and made to be someone’s bitch. (I just have to interject that I had a hard time keeping my eyes wide open when I saw Eyes Wide Shut. It wasn’t nearly as interesting as I thought it would be, and that one-note piano score was sleep inducing.) Sonja is disappointed that there’s no gin, and goes for Tito’s. Ramona introduces everyone, and Sonja says she’s being so formal. In Tinsley’s interview, she says, Sonja lived like Ramona is pretending to. Sonja tells Ramona, they might be in a $39 million home, but act like she’s in her $7 million home; she likes to be down-to-earth. In Ramona’s interview, she says, with Sonja, she has to bring herself down, while with her other friends, she has to elevate herself.

Ramona accuses Leah of chewing gum, like it’s a crime, and Leah says, no, she’s not. She walks outside with Tinsley, and says she swallowed it. Ramona’s eyes scared the hell out of her. She saw Ramona’s eyes, and just swallowed the gum. Ramona just scolded her, but she’s not from the royal family. Inside, Sonja says she thinks Leah is classy, but doesn’t look classy; she’s rough around the edges. Ramona thanks Joe for letting her use the house. In her interview, Tinsley says, it’s weird seeing Joe. She thinks he and Ramona would make a good couple. The way Ramona is batting her lashes, he seems to be into it. She tells Leah, Ramona is flirting as usual. In her interview, Leah says, Joe seems like a nice older gentlemen. Men who are short and unattractive still have women running after them if they have money. It’s the world we live in. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, it’s hard not to drink. The bar is there, and everyone is drinking. She was hoping Leah would be her wingman by not drinking, but it’s not happening. She’s lost her sober companion.

Ramona gathers everyone for a house tour, and they check out the bowling alley in the basement. The women are impressed, and Joe says his house just made him hotter. In her interview, Leah says, exhibit A. She rests her case. Tinsley is having a hard time bowling in heels, and gets a gutter ball. On the way downstairs, Dorinda tells LuAnn that she thinks touring houses is tacky. In her interview, Dorinda says she lived with her husband in London, and they don’t do house tours. You see the living room and the dining room, and maybe the kitchen. Maybe. LuAnn and Dorinda do some bowling, and LuAnn gets a strike. In another room, Joe shows them a half pipe he had put in for his son, and a DJ booth. There’s also a swing that can be hoisted to the ceiling, and when Ramona goes up in it, it makes me nervous. It’s not like there’s a seat belt.

Mutual friend Elyse joins them, and Dorinda says she was married to a hedge fund guy. They discuss clothes, and Elyse says she’s not a huge shopper. Investments, yes; clothes, no. Sonja says her husband always bought her clothes, and Elyse says Sonja was his accessory. Sonja takes offense, insisting they were partners. Elyse says Sonja was a trophy wife, and Sonja starts to get loud, telling Elyse to clip it. Elyse says, Sonja brought men to their knees, and Sonja keeps repeating, take it back, until Elyse takes it back. Sonja says, Tinsley was a trophy wife, which annoys Tinsley. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she and Topper met at boarding school, and they were the same age. Sonja was a hostess when she met her husband, who was a hundred. That’s the definition of a trophy wife. Sonja announces that she doesn’t shave her p*ssy. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, Sonja is drunk, but she doesn’t think Elyse should be talking like that. It’s no one’s business to pass judgement on what roll any of them played in their husbands’ lives. LuAnn tells Dorinda, Sonja is off the rails, and shouldn’t have kept drinking. She’s going to be out like a light. Dorinda says, or it will be batten down the hatches.

The women check out the buffet, and LuAnn wants someone to tell her why she left her own beautiful house to spend the weekend in Ramona’s basement. It smells like dog piss. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, the room is also fully stocked with liquor. She noticed. Sonja tells Ramona to go sit with her rich friends. She’s treating them like chicken liver. Everyone is like, um… that’s chopped liver. In Ramona’s interview, she says, when Sonja acts like this, it’s no wonder she’s not invited to certain events. Sonja says they’re not important to Ramona, and Dorinda says, Sonja is on a roll. Leah sits down, and Sonja points to a young guy sitting at the table, saying he wants to have sex with her. Leah says, who wouldn’t want to have sex with her? In Leah’s interview, she says, watching Sonja eye-f*** this dude is the best part of the whole party. She wonders if Sonja would say, never mind, if he had a tattoo. She doesn’t think so. The guy asks if Sonja wants a drink, and Ramona suggests he get Sonja some club soda. Sonja tells him, just show her his driver’s license, and they’re good to go. She has an amazing vagina. LuAnn joins them, wondering what’s happening, and Sonja asks how her p*ssy is. LuAnn looks down, and says, it’s all still there. Sonja says she stole the show, but they’re not getting laid tonight. It’s all quite astonishing. And astonishing that Sonja is invited anywhere.

In her interview, Leah says, Sonja is not just entertaining, she’s embarrassing. They get up from the table, and Sonja says Ramona is a party popper [sic]. Ramona says, the party is over, and Sonja says, Ramona is over. She tries to latch on to a guy going past, and LuAnn says he’s married and has a baby. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s like Godzilla has been let loose, and Godzilla is drunk. Ramona steers them all out, and a guy named Eddie asks if every night is like this.

Sonja tries to go back, but Dorinda says, no, you’re not. Sonja says Dorinda is getting in between her and her vagina. Dorinda wonders why Sonja does this to herself – and them.

I’ve been wondering why I like this show when it’s just as drama laden as RHOBH. The lightbulb came on just now. The women are just as self-centered, and sometimes as mean, as the women in Beverly Hills. But when they’re mean, it’s because they want attention or they’re thoughtless – not because they’re deliberately being cruel or want to get back at each other. Huge difference. Same drama, but different intention. It’s kind of like the difference between 2 Broke Girls and King of Queens. The people are both awful, but on 2 Broke Girls, you know when push came to shove, they’d do anything for one another or even to help a stranger. On King of Queens, they’d trample each other to get to a fire exit. But they’re not real, so it can be funny. Okay, digression – and commercial break – over.

It’s 10 am, when Dorinda knocks on Ramona’s door. She says, there’s a problem. LuAnn left, and she’s written an out-of-control text. Ramona says she saw a car pull out last night, and thought someone stole her car. Dorinda doesn’t know why she was cc’d, and reads the text addressed to Ramona. LuAnn says, it’s not the fish room part two. She has an amazing home, and there, she had to share a bathroom with someone she didn’t know or be in the basement, where there’s dog piss and spiders. She’s always lowest on the totem pole when it comes to rooms. Ramona says she asked LuAnn if she wanted a room on the  ground floor, and thinks LuAnn just wanted to go home. Dorinda wonders why LuAnn can’t just say she doesn’t want be downstairs, and that it feels lonely. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, LuAnn always has an issue with the room. We flash back to Vermont, when LuAnn whined that she was just married and back from Palm Springs, so her room could have been nicer; and Great Barrington, where LuAnn griped that the best room was being saved for Bethenny, who’d just been through a tragedy. Dorinda says, and Ramona’s house. Dorinda thinks there’s a theme going on here.

Ramona calls LuAnn, and gets voicemail. Dorinda tells her to be careful with what she says. Ramona says she hopes LuAnn got home safe. She’s sorry LuAnn felt isolated, and that she wasn’t being more aware of how LuAnn felt. She was concentrating on superficial things, when it was important to bond, and she never meant to make LuAnn feel that way. She asks LuAnn to come back, and she’ll try to make it up to her. I’m kind of surprised, since Ramona actually sounds sincere. She tells Dorinda that LuAnn felt rejected, and she gets that. In her interview, Ramona says she doesn’t want LuAnn to feel bad. She was preparing for eight women, cooking, cleaning, and shopping, and effed up.

Sonja wonders what happened last night, and thinks she had a great time. Ramona asks if she’s straight yet, and tells her about LuAnn leaving at 1 am. In Sonja’s interview, she says LuAnn was humbled by her probation for ten seconds. Now everything’s not good enough. Sonja reads the text, and they all want to see the basement, and troop downstairs. Sonja deems it a party palace. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it was either sleeping in the guest room, or being home. A bed, television, and bathroom is enough.

Ramona’s phone rings. It’s LuAnn.

Next time, Ramona and LuAnn have a tennis match; a cute dog groomer comes to groom Marley, and LuAnn says she’d like to be groomed; a game of beer pong is played; Leah goes off the deep end; and Ramona wails over the remnants of a very messy party.

📡 John Olivier and LuAnn were guests on Watch What Happens Live (quarantine edition), and John was too funny. He was enthralled with next week’s RHONY preview, and how it went from, I think there’s vodka in that, to I think she’ll be okay, to a naked Leah pulling a tiki torch out of the ground, to a guy nobody knows saying, I think I should go. He said, if someone would ask which he liked better, that or Parasite, he would say Parasite, but he’d be lying.

👨🏾‍🍳 On Top Chef, the chefs arrived to find stations for each of them, with utensils, aprons, and tablets. They each got a phone call from a loved one; wives, moms, sisters, and friends, and chatted for a while. Padma came in and told them to gather around. Their loved ones were going to be an integral part of the Quickfire challenge. They were all at Mozza, an upscale restaurant, and the chefs would have to replicate whatever dish their person was eating, using their instructions given over the phone. The dish had to look and taste the same, but a photo couldn’t be texted. They had thirty minutes to cook the dish, which I probably don’t have to point out, isn’t very long. As usual, the winner would be exempt from elimination, but they would also receive $10K courtesy of the show’s partner, Metro. Kevin said the run for ingredients reminded him of the streets of Manhattan; everyone was running around like lunatics, wearing headphones, and screaming at someone no one else could see. Since each loved one had a different set of communication skills, it was pretty funny to watch the chefs try to decipher what it was they were going to make. After cooking/plating time was up, a photo of the dish was texted to them, so they could see how close they came. Guest judge Nancy Silverton, owner of the Mazzo restaurant group, and whose dishes were being reproduced, was introduced. Bryan had a totally different dish, so it was the least favorite, but Nancy made a point of saying it was still delicious. Kevin was the winner (aw! I like him), and he called his wife, saying that her being super detail oriented panned out. In his interview, he said his successes had always been because of her, and he was glad they got the opportunity to enjoy the victory together.

Nancy explained that, in addition to her restaurants, she was also an entrepreneur. She had the Bakery Bread company, and was starting a gelato line called Nancy’s Fancy. The chefs were to create a signature product to bring to the Westfield Century City Food Festival. They would be giving out samples of food using their creation, and the shoppers would each get one ticket to receive one product. The chefs’ loved ones would assist them in the making of the product, and they were given $600 to shop at Whole Foods. While making dumplings, the kitchen got a little too hot for Lee Anne’s mom, who came close to fainting, and had to lie down. In Lee Anne’s interview, she said her mom was her main consideration, but she still had to be in the competition – alone – and finish a million dumplings. Okay, it was really 150. Several of the others came to rescue, and she said she was touched that she had great people willing help. I was pretty impressed with that myself. Afterwards, Bryan ranked the others in a notebook, no surprise, putting himself at the top. He’s starting to get on my nerves.

At the food festival, the chefs labeled their products. Melissa ended up being the top seller, receiving tickets for 31 bottles of kimchee vinaigrette. She said she’d wanted to create a versatile product, which seemed to be key. Nancy picked Gregory as the winner of the challenge with some Haitian pickled veggies that I wouldn’t mind a jar of. The bottom three were Stephanie, Jennifer, and Bryan full of Malarkey. In his interview, he whined that his product sold well, and tasted amazing, because he knows better than the judges. Stephanie was told her marinara sauce was nothing different than was already out there. Bryan’s salsa whatever was oily, and Tom said it was confusing as to what he was actually selling. Stephanie’s ginger lemon sauce, which sounded like a good idea, was deemed not smooth enough by Tom, and Nancy thought Stephanie had diluted the flavor by mixing in yogurt. Tom did say he was impressed with how quickly the chefs all came up decent product on the first try, saying it had taken twelve times for him to get his first product correct. He also conceded that in a crowded market, it was hard to get something to stand out.

While I was hoping Bryan would be packing his knives and going, it was Jennifer who was moving on to Last Chance Kitchen. She says she was from Philly, and Rocky kept coming back. In her interview, she told us, the competition had done so much good for her; she’d learned a lot about herself. She started off wanting things done her way, and it motivated her to be better. She now accepted that she makes mistakes, and wanted to learn. Her best memory was going to be cooking with her sister. The loss couldn’t change how happy the challenge made her.

Next time, the elimination challenge will be a celebration of the 100th Anniversary of the L.A. Philharmonic, the chefs will pair up, and it will be a double elimination. In the preview, Lee Anne said shopping with Bryan was like shopping with monkeys on crack.

🏕 Coming May 4th

I’m hoping this isn’t like Summer House at camp, but it looks like it probably is.


👯‍♂️ But Not Too Close…

We’re getting there, and I hope in the meantime, you’re getting up and getting dressed. No slippers before 6 pm, and make that bed. Unless you don’t normally make your bed, then disregard that. Stay safe, and wear that mask with pride.

April 10, 2020 – GH Today, Double the Apology, LA Soon, Wives Next Week, Lu Tells All, Bethenny Responds, Randy’s Advice, DIY TP, Why, Your Personal Hogwarts, Tyler’s Gift, Prep Now, an Unlucky Number Of Quotes & Super


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


🩺 Just for the record, today’s General Hospital was the episode where Nelle left Michael to die in a burning car, and gave birth in the woods. All alone. Except for Obrecht.

Shahs of Sunset

Would they please change the opening song? Or at least move on to a different verse. It’s been eight seasons now of the same six lines.

GG and Destiney want to exude good fortune, so they go to a clinic to get fillers. Destiney doesn’t like needles, and in her interview, GG says she wants to get back in the swing of things, and forget she lost the pregnancy. With the physical pain of a needle, you feel the pain, and afterwards, it’s like a release. She realizes she sounds crazy. She tells Destiney that she wants to back to her life, and Destiney wants everyone to be on good terms with positive vibes. GG says, it’s wishful thinking. A couple of people are getting along with MJ, but personally, GG doesn’t want to be around her. In GG’s interview, she says MJ used to be there for her. We flash back to them being friends, and GG says MJ was a person who she felt secure to be around, but she doesn’t feel that way anymore. Owner Nayera says Destiney looks nervous, and tells her, don’t get scared. GG tells Nayera, she wants Botox, but not a whole lot. Nayera puts numbing cream on GG’s face. In her interview, GG says she’s been doing fillers since she was twenty-seven. It makes her feel amazing and fresh. Destiney can’t watch. GG tells Nayera that she wants a little everywhere, and Destiney compares it to basting a turkey. She tells GG that she’s crazy. Nayera puts numbing cream on Destiney’s lips, and GG holds Destiney’s hand while taking pictures with her other hand. GG says she hasn’t laughed this hard in so long. She’s going to have to wear diapers next time. After what she’s been through, it’s exactly what she needed.

Reza and Mike go to an arcade, and it looks like a blast. They play games for a while, then get drinks and something to eat. Reza tells the girl at the counter that he’s going to order an obscene amount of food. She introduces him to Guillermo del Pouro, their robotic bartender. The food comes, and it is an obscene amount, but it’s all fair food, like corn dogs and curly fries, and I wish I was there. Mike says he doesn’t like corn dogs, and Reza and I say, what? Mike asks when Reza became a white guy, and Reza says, when he married Adam. Their marriage is hanging on by a shred. Mike says, it all happened after the stupid accusations, and Reza says, that’s not lost on him. In Mike’s interview, he says he’s trying to get them to admit what they’ve done wrong. They both effed up. If MJ will take responsibility, maybe they can meet in the middle, and get it done. Mike tells Reza, if he’d taken the moral high ground, everyone would have been on his side. Reza says, sometimes bitches get caught up in their feelings. Mike says, Reza was upset and hurt, and retaliated. He had misdirected anger against Ali. In Reza’s interview, he says he needs to apologize. A real Persian man stands up in his truth, apologizes, moves forward, and doesn’t make the same mistake over again. Mike tells him, fix this, please.

In the car, MJ tells assistant Sienna that Tommy wants Baby Shams to learn Spanish rather than Farsi, but anyone can learn Spanish. Farsi is hard. Tommy says, no one cares about Farsi, and MJ says, gracias. MJ tells them, Reza texted that he hasn’t been in a good place since the rumors about Adam being unfaithful. He wasn’t ready to meet up when she texted, but he is now, if she’s willing. In MJ’s interview, she says, Reza has proven he’s despicable as a friend. He verbally assaulted her, assaulted and slandered her and her husband online, called the cops on her husband, and lawyered up. He’s on a tear. Who takes a friend to court over a broken bowl? She slept on it, and decided in order for them to heal as a group, she’s going to meet him. Tommy says Reza knew she almost died. He made it seem like she was sitting around like a puppet master. If he thinks she’s capable of that, he’s not her friend. That’s the reason people stopped hanging out with OJ. They couldn’t believe he was capable of murder. In her interview, MJ says she’s going to meet with Reza  because she wants to see if he has a decent bone in his body. Tommy tells her, Reza needs to grovel.

Nema meets with Annette and Vincenza, organizers of the Boots & Brew Country Music Festival. In his interview, Nema explains that they’re a multi-million dollar client, and his company creates branded content. We flash back to him helping GG with her cannabis business. He says they’re going to take an already cool thing, and make it ten times cooler on social media. Annette and Vincenza show him around the grounds. In Nema’s interview, he says he invited everyone. His invitations to Reza and MJ are personally selfish. He had to invite both of them, or the one who wasn’t invited would be mad, and he learned his lesson at Sara’s party that the element of surprise can go the wrong way. He’s hoping the collective beef will outweigh their individual beef.

In Destiney’s interview, she says she’s been seeing Sam for two months, It’s his birthday, and he’s coming to L.A. She likes nothing better than putting a smile on the face of someone she cares about. Their relationship is super casual, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be bougie and make him feel good. She goes to a swank hotel, where she’s gotten a suite. Sam arrives bearing roses. In her interview, Destiney says Sam’s sister definitely doesn’t want her talking to her brother. If Sara knew about it, she’d be flipping out. Clearly, she doesn’t give a sh*t.

Tommy calls MJ as she drives, and she tells him that she’s on her way to meet Reza. He asks, what’s the plan? and she says, to bring some sense into this sh*t. He says, she’s known Reza for thirty years, and she should handle it however she thinks she should. Reza is waiting when she gets to the restaurant. He gives her a shopping bag, and says, it’s a gift for the baby. He starts to cry, and says he originally got a baby bracelet, but flushed it down the toilet. He puts on his sunglasses to hide his tears. In MJ’s interview, she says the reason she’s skeptical is, she’s been down this road before. We flash back to Reza telling her that nothing can get between their bond, then fighting with her at the reunion, and then them hugging it out. He tells her he wanted to get a bottle of whiskey, but got something light to drink. MJ laughs, and says she didn’t know he was going to make her laugh right away. He says, it’s better than being angry, and asks how she is. She says she’s looking at her best friend of thirty years. He says he couldn’t respond after her text message. When he had to meet Ali, he thought they’d just be talking naked Jenga, but Ali brought a stack of papers. He was devastated, and asked Ali why he was doing this. He told Reza that MJ told him to do it. MJ says, that’s completely bullsh*t. She had Destiney telling her that Ali claimed she had set it up. Reza says, from that day, his life at home was a living hell. You can’t talk about things in someone’s marriage, and not think it won’t have a ripple effect. It made him a miserable human being. He didn’t have his best friend, and his husband was cheating. He was in the darkest place in his life without her. He can’t compare it with her being in the hospital, but he didn’t set out to hurt her on purpose. He was told his husband cheated, then Ali said Adam was sexually harassing other people, and that MJ had told him to bring Reza the information. He was going crazy. She asks why he didn’t call her, and he says, why didn’t she call him? She says she wishes she had. Reza blows his nose in a napkin, and MJ says he never gave her respect and love when it counted. He could have picked up the phone. It’s very effed up. Destiney lied, Ali lied, and she’s the person who fell on the sword giving birth, and lost her friend of thirty years. He popped off on her at the party, and put her personal information on Instagram. Tommy vandalized his landscaping, and here they are. He says Tommy called and said he’d kill Reza when he was on his way to Reza’s house. He and Adam were petrified in their own house. He freaked TF out. Then MJ was saying she wished everyone has a husband like Tommy, and she was glad he did that. MJ says, if she’s honest, she was holding onto things that happened at the pool party. Reza says he did the most vile thing, and he’ll try to make it up to her for the rest of his life. He wishes he could turn the clock back. He’s forgiven Tommy, and he’s not going to pursue any charges or do anything to hurt him. MJ appreciates it, and apologizes for anything  and everything Reza has been through. She’s sorry they’re not closer, and could be there for each other. Reza suggests taking it one step at a time. He wants to go slow, and see where it goes. He doesn’t expect anything; just a little crack so they can text occasionally, and see what happens. MJ says she looks forward to Reza meeting Shams, but Shams needs her right now. Reza says he understands, and asks if he can have a hug. Please. They hug, and she says he kind of smells weird, which is unusual. I’m guessing it’s nervous sweat, which can really stink. She tells him, if he wants to text, don’t hesitate. In Reza’s interview, he says he misses her, and it’s very sad.

Destiney and Sam go to a private room in the hotel restaurant, and order drinks. In Destiney’s interview, she says she’s trying to make his day special. They’re enjoying their time together, and not thinking about the future, but of course she is. They kiss, and Destiney orders steak for both of them. Sam suddenly starts acting really weird, and talking gibberish. In her interview, Destiney says, something is not right. This is not the Sam she’s been talking to. She doesn’t know if he’s on something. Sam adds burping to his craziness. In Destiney’s interview, she says, this isn’t good. She’s all about manners, and she’s over this sh*t. Frankly, I don’t know what to make of it either.

Nema arrives at the festival. In his interview, he says, it’s a Rolex-free day. He gives his drone operator Cody instructions. In Nema’s interview, he says he’s a pretty amazing producer. Part of his job is to work with the talent, and sometimes the talent is eccentric. He might be the best one to produce the group’s reconciliation. Methinks Nema is a tad narcissistic, although not necessarily in a bad way.

Shervin and Reza meet at Mike’s place. Mike says Shervin looks like a gay cowboy.

Sara goes to GG’s condo, and GG says her stomach is bloated. She’s going to need to stay in a wheelchair 80% of the time. In her interview, she says it’s been less than a week since her surgery. She tells Sara, she’s dying to get dressed like a cowgirl and yeehaw.

Destiney joins the others at Mike’s, and Mike wonders why she didn’t bring Sam. In Destiney’s interview, she says, Sam was like an abstract painting. She was super intrigued, and wanted to keep looking at it. She wanted to understand it, but then things changed. We see a clip of later in the evening of Sam’s birthday. He keeps burping, and being weird, and she quietly walks out with her suitcase. She says, they’re no longer talking. GG arrives, carrying a stick pony. Everyone gets into the limo.

Nema meets MJ at the festival, riding a scooter. She tells him that he looks stupid. He supposes there will be no panty dropping.

In the limo, Reza asks when GG saw MJ last, but she doesn’t remember. She says she’s not looking forward to it. She doesn’t think MJ is a good person. Frankly, I think MJ is a confused person, who had Vida for a mother, and misses her dad terribly.

Nema tells MJ the scooter is for GG. She had some medical sh*t go down, and needed emergency surgery. He didn’t think she was going to be able to come. In MJ’s interview, she says, once Shalom came into the picture, she and GG drifted apart. We flash back to MJ and Reza setting GG up by inviting Shalom’s ex to an event. MJ says, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care when something serious happens. She asks Nema when GG had surgery, and he says a week and a half ago. She says she saw Reza, and he was crying the whole time. She just tried to appear calm, and listened to what he had to say.

Reza says he still forgives MJ, even though he knows she was involved. The limo parks, and they all get out. Nema scooters over to them, and MJ says, hey. Nema says he’ll show them the VIP area. GG complains that there’s no cup holder, and wants to roll up like gangsters. They do the slo-mo crew walk, and go to a tent that has tables and booze. They take a group photo, and Nema says he wouldn’t have thought this would happen two weeks ago. And I’m sure he’s mentally patting himself on the back. He says, Persian has gone country, and they wander around. They stop to eat, and GG says it’s the best mac and cheese she’s ever had. Nema admits to loving country music, and Reza asks if they can turn the volume down.

Suddenly, Mike gets up, and says he wants to ask a question. He asks if MJ knew about naked Jenga. We should have had a drinking game with that phrase. We’d have stayed drunk for weeks. In Mike’s interview, he says, in the past, his honesty has been questioned, and they need to come together and get the story straight. Someone needs to tell the truth. MJ says she wanted to tell Reza about the situation as soon as sh*t went down. Mike asks if she knew about the texts, or are the other two liars? She says she knew Ali wanted to bring up an issue with Reza, but he wasn’t clear on what the issue was. Mike says, the problem is, she’s lying. Ali has diarrhea of the mouth; there’s no way he didn’t give the details. He says he loves MJ, and wants her to speak the truth.

In Mike’s interview, he says, it can all be fixed if the truth is told. Reza says, when he sat with MJ, she wanted him to believe her hands were squeaky clean. He just wants to get to a better place. MJ thanks him, and says she appreciates everything about yesterday, but her hands aren’t clean. She knew about the Jenga texts, and knew Ali had an issue about it, but she doesn’t know what happened. Ali made it bigger than it was. She apologizes that they had to go through any of it. She’s sorry that when she found out, she didn’t think it was important enough tell them that she knew. Reza thanks her for taking accountability. In MJ’s interview, she says her intentions were to fix it. She has no problem apologizing, and wants to get to a better place. She thanks Reza, and asks if they can be friends again. He says, absolutely. He’d like to get to a place where they can move forward. They have a lot of chapters, and MJ says they’ll have a lot more. In GG’s interview, she says MJ has been Reza’s BFF for thirty years, and she feels for him. She wants to open his eyes, but he needs to go through it to understand it for himself; there’s no making up with MJ. Mike says he’s proud of MJ for mending the disconnect in the friendship.

They do some line dancing, and GG says she needs to lie down flat somewhere. She goes to the limo, and the others get ice cream. Shervin follows GG, and she tells him to get an ambulance; she’s having a piercing pain. A producer asks if she wants a medic. In her interview, GG says she has a high threshold for pain, so it must be a lot. She tells the medic that she had surgery recently, and he says she has three incisions that could be open. The others run back to the limo, and Shervin tells them what’s going on. Reza thinks GG should go to the hospital, and not risk it. GG says she’d rather go closer to where she lives. She thinks it’s because she hadn’t eaten, and then ate to much mac and cheese. She’s lactose intolerant. MJ tells her to stay lying in the same position. In GG’s interview, she says she guesses MJ woke up on the right side of the bed. She’s being compassionate and caring, and wants to be the big sister. But GG knows tomorrow, MJ might not wake up on that same side. The group heads back.

Mike shakes his head, saying, too much mac and cheese? What? MJ calls to see how GG is doing, and Mike says, she’s sitting up and blowing kisses toward the phone. GG gives him the finger, and he says, now she’s making a heart sign. She tells him it’s for him, not MJ. MJ says they sound like drunken clowns, and Mike says, they are drunken clowns. GG says, it hurts to laugh.

Next time, MJ surprises Destiney by inviting Ali to their meeting; Reza says Adam doesn’t have respect for their marriage; Nema tells his mother, because his childhood was traumatic, it’s strengthened his resolve not to have children.

💰 Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles will begin their new season on May 5th.

💋 The new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins April 15th.

👩🏻‍💻 Zooming Along…

The Countess dishes the quarantine dirt.


👏🏻 Bethenny Claps Back…

On giving her the middle finger.


And giving back.


🎹 It’s No Short People…

A PSA from Randy Newman.


🧻 For the Bored Or Overly Ambitious…

Or if you’re really desperate.


🚽 Because We’re All Wondering…

A possible explanation on the shortage.


🔮 Get Your Harry Potter On…

Even Hogwarts has free online classes.


🎁 My Man Tyler…

One more reason to watch Temptation Tuesday.


🗽 And a Side of Ramona…

Instead of watching the GH rerun, Bravo had a marathon of an old favorite, NYC Prep. I loved this series, and was very disappointed when they didn’t have a second season. For the most part, it was awful rich kids, who I figured would turn into equally awful adults. For whatever reason, this article also plopped a Ramona (Real Housewives of New York) video interview in the middle of it, so it’s double the fun.


🗯 Quotes of the Week

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you. – B. B. King

My morning fiber cookie has better taste than Sophie. – Han (Matthew Moy), 2 Broke Girls

To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now. – Fred Rogers

She’s at track number none. – Robert Springs, Pillow Talk: 90 Day Fiancé, referring to a cast member meeting a probable catfish

Do what is right, not what is easy nor what is popular. – Roy T. Bennett

Just because things hadn’t gone the way I had planned didn’t necessarily mean they had gone wrong.Ann Patchett

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde

Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.Abraham Lincoln

Do one thing every day that scares you. – Eleanor Roosevelt

If I ever hear it again after quarantine, I’ll just burst in tears and curl up on the floor. – Daisy Tainton of Queens, whose neighbor keeps playing the same Ed Sheeran song, over and over, from The City

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. – George Bernard Shaw

Guests of guests don’t bring guests.Jessie Leavitt, NYC Prep

🏋️‍♀️ Yes, It’s Still Called a Weekend…

And you made it to another one. Since no Dead are walking, see you on Deck on Monday. Stay safe, and wishing you a blessed Easter and Passover.