Tag Archives: The Real Housewives of NYC

June 13, 2018 – Jason Finds a Way In, LuAnn Gets Out, Two Chefs Go Home, More Gordon & Coffee


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly tells herself to stay strong, stay focused, go home. She rocks back and forth as she repeats it, which isn’t exactly a good look if she doesn’t want to stay there.

Nina meets Curtis and Sam at The Floating Rib. Curtis introduces Sam as his new partner. Nina says it’s quite a change from Aurora. She asks why Curtis wanted to see her, and he says they need her help to catch Henrik

Valentin puts a record on the turntable. Since vinyl is back, I assume I don’t have to explain what a record is.

Alexis, Kiki. and Elizabeth meet at not Kelly’s, since Kiki wants to keep it private. Valentin sends Alexis a text, saying he has something for her. Alexis shows Kiki a copy of the paper. She says when the article comes out, it will send shockwaves through GH. On the front is Kiki’s picture, with the headline #GHTOO?

Ava asks if Griff knew, and if that’s why he and Kiki are inseparable.

Franco reads the paper in the locker room. David walks in.

At Pizzulo’s Sonny talks to Diane on the phone. He asks how soon Carly can be transferred to Shadybrook. Jason walks in. Mike is there reading car ads, and says he sees a Bel Air, like he used to have. Sonny tells him that wasn’t his car, and tells Diane that’s not soon enough. Jason talks to Mike about going for a drive, and Sonny tells him that Mike isn’t allowed to drive. Jason suggests they just hang there for a while. Sonny tells Diane that she did this, and she has to fix it. Sonny is pissed, and Mike tells Jason, that’s his son, always even tempered. Good thing his wife keeps him in line.

Carly does crunches. The nurse calls her Caroline, and says she’s surprised Carly is up so early. Carly explains that nobody calls her Caroline, and the nurse asks if she’s nobody. She tells Carly that her name is Mary Pat, and she’s the supervising nurse. She sees that Carly is the owner of the MetroCourt, and says, very swanky. She had dinner there once, and it was pricey. She says Carly must be used to being in charge out there, but she’s in charge in here. Mary Pat continues to call her Caroline, and says everyone goes wild for that song when they have their sing-alongs. Carly says she’s not much of a singer, but Mary Pat tells her that she doesn’t have to be Karen Carpenter; just have fun. The road to healing is paved with positive thought.

Sonny throws something, and Mike tells him possessions aren’t like trash. Like his mom used to say, no one is made of money. He tells Jason it was take your father to work day. Sonny, Jason, and Mike sit at a table. Mike says it’s business, not family, but Sonny says they might be able to use his ideas. Mike asks, to do what? and Sonny says, to bring Carly home.

Carly tells Mary Pat that she’ll keep the singalong in mind, but hopes she’s not there long enough to be a regular. Mary Pat says, that’s the spirit. Many patients have a poor outlook like it’s the end of the road. Carly promises to set a good example; she has a family to get back to. Mary Pat notes that she has a boy and a girl, not counting her deceased son.

Curtis tells Nina that her brother would be alive if Valentin had told the truth. Nina says she’s struggling with that, but whatever Valentin’s involvement was, he didn’t intend for anyone to get hurt. She’s not going to deliberately seek revenge on her husband. Sam asks, what about Peter?

Alexis thinks Kiki should take the day off, but Kiki says she’s ready for whatever comes her way.

Ava tells Griff that her daughter was sexually harassed, and she had to find out from the paper like everyone else. He says he just found out too. He suspected something was going on, but not this. Ava wonders why Kiki wouldn’t have told her, and Griff thinks she felt she could handle it alone. Ava says she’s a failure as a mother. Her own daughter couldn’t talk to her. Griff says she’s not a failure. That’s her courageous daughter speaking out about injustice at a great cost. All they can do is be there for her. Ava says Kiki won’t respond to her calls or texts, and Griff says, same here. Ava asks if Griff has any idea who the bastard is. Griff remembers David looking for the men’s room in the dressing room at the Nurses’ Ball, and Kiki crying about being stressed.

Franco tells David, the news these days, there’s always something. David says that’s why he doesn’t follow it too much; he has work to focus on. Franco says being the chief resident, a lot of responsibility is resting on his broad shoulders. It’s enough to make anyone tense. He asks David to let him help get the kinks out, and presses his shoulder with the Vulcan death grip. He tells David that Kiki is like a daughter to him, and asks how the Shadow Program is going. David says she’s not shadowing him anymore, and Franco asks, why? Did something happen? David says he’ll have to ask Kiki. Franco picks up the paper and says it’s right there. There no names, but he can read between the lines. David claims he doesn’t know what Franco is talking about, and Franco slams him up against the lockers.

David tells Franco to let go or he’ll have him arrested. Franco thinks David should be exterminated, like a cockroach. David insists it has nothing to do with him. Franco’s history makes him a more likely candidate. Franco is about to blow, and Elizabeth walks in.

Griff tells Ava that Kiki didn’t name names. Ava says he must suspect someone, since he’s close to her. He says it’s only speculation, and she tells him to speculate away. She wonders why he’s so secretive when it comes to Kiki. What is it he’s not telling her? Kiki walks in.

Sonny tells Jason and Mike that Diane petitioned the court to have Carly transferred, but it’s not an option. Mike calls Ferncliff a nuthouse, and asks why Carly is there. Sonny says there was a misunderstanding, and someone got hurt. It went to court, and the judge said it was Carly’s fault. Mike asks if she got convicted of a crime she didn’t do, and Jason says, right. Carly is innocent. Mike says they don’t send people to the mental hospital for no reason. Sometimes people need to have people watch out for them when they can’t hack it for themselves, like him.

Carly tells Mary Pat that Morgan counts; he’s still her son. Mary Pat says he’s deceased. Face it, that’s why she’s here. She needs to address it head on. Now it’s time to discuss the rules, and how they apply to her.

Curtis says that Peter escaped, and Valentin was in his cell, with no sign of a struggle. Peter left, and Valentin took his place; he must have had an escape route. Curtis needs Nina to help prove it. Sam says, if they find Peter, Nina will get justice. Nina asks what they want her to do.

Valentin tells Alexis that he has the papers. They’re signed and ready for execution. An aria plays, and Alexis asks what that is. Valentin asks if she doesn’t recognize her mother’s voice. She asks if he just happened to drop the needle on it when she rang the doorbell. He says it’s a rare recording; he gingerly placed the needle. It’s the only one of its kind. She recorded it for an audience of one; their father. It’s the second half of his payment for services rendered. She’d like to discuss the first payment. The watch clearly wasn’t his. He says it was commissioned as a gift for her mother.

Franco tells Elizabeth that the doctor and he had a little chat. Elizabeth tells him stop, and he lets go of David, who leaves. Elizabeth asks if he’s kidding; he could get arrested. David is the chief resident. Franco says he’s the chief of something, and shows her the paper. He says David has been harassing Kiki. Elizabeth asks if he admitted it, and Franco says he didn’t have to. He did this to Kiki. He’s smug and arrogant, and in a position of power. Franco isn’t going to let him ruin someone else’s life. She asks if he’s talking about Kiki or himself.

Ava tells Kiki that she’s sorry this is happening to her. She says she didn’t tell anyone. Ava asks if she didn’t want to talk to anyone, or just her. Kiki says it happened faster than she expected, and she tuned her phone off. Alexis is representing her, and they’re prepared to go to court. Ava thinks they should take steps to keep the bastard from hounding her. She asks Kiki to give her his name, and Julian will make sure of it. She’s not leaving Kiki unprotected. Kiki tells Ava to trust her, and leave it alone. She leaves, and Ava is about to follow, but Griff tells her to wait.

Sonny tells Mike that Carly isn’t getting the help she needs, so Diane is getting her transferred. Mike says, family takes care of family, and Carly is stuck somewhere that’s no good for her. Jason says it’s worse than prison; Carly shouldn’t be there. Mike agrees, and suggests they break her out. They all look at each other.

Mary Pat tells Carly that the main wing is over capacity, and it’s a sad commentary on the state of mental health care. For now, she’s in the super max wing, where they house the most dangerous and violent patients. She’ll only be there until a room opens. In the main wing, unlike her neighbors, she’ll have day privileges. Mary Pat gives her a pamphlet. It contains the rules, and the penalties for violating said rules. She continues to call Carly Caroline, and has her turn to the last section, where it says they’re to have tolerance for other patients, and respect for the staff. Mary Pat says, disrespect is not tolerated. She doesn’t want trouble, and if Carly comes up against her, she’ll find plenty of it. Carly says she just wants to go home. Mary Pat says then she’s going to follow the rules, and accept the doctor’s treatment. She’d rather be an all-star than a problem patient. She wouldn’t like that at all.

Mike asks if he said something wrong. Sonny says they have to go through the legal system. The DA went after Carly because she’s his wife. Jason says they have to make sure she doesn’t get herself stuck there longer. He has an idea, and says he’ll keep Sonny updated. He leaves, and Mike says, Jason is a strange one. He’s a nice guy on the surface, but has ice water in his veins. He asks where Sonny dug him up, and Sonny says they go way back. Mike says he’s the kind of guy you steer clear of; an enforcer. The kind that works for a ruthless bastard, who wants to own the world. He didn’t want that for Sonny.

Mary Pat asks Carly what she’s going to be, and Carly says, an all-star. That’s what Mary Pat likes to hear. Rupert is there with her meds. Just the first of many. Rupert is a pretty big guy. Like pro-wrestler big.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he could kill David. Kiki is practically family. Elizabeth says she’s an adult. He needs to trust that she knows what she’s doing, and support her fighting back. He wonders why she didn’t come to him. Elizabeth says it’s hard to find the right words and tell someone. They agree they both missed out when supportive families were being given out.

Ava tracks down Kiki in the hospital. Kiki tells her not to make a scene; she doesn’t need more eyes on her. She says it’s not about Ava, and Ava says it is; she’s Kiki’s mother. Kiki says it didn’t get serious until after she broke up with Dylan. She thought she could handle it, and was afraid to lose the respect of her coworkers. Ava says it’s understandable, except why didn’t Kiki turn to her? Kiki says she couldn’t take her on too. She has her own approach to things, and her own standards, especially when it comes to the truth and sex. They look at it differently. Ava uses sex as strategy and a weapon.

Valentin tells Alexis the watch belonged to her mother; he found it on Cassadine Island. She thinks it’s convenient how he suddenly found it. He asks if she doubts him, and she says she has trust issues. He shows her a picture of her mother wearing the watch. His phone rings, and it’s Nina, who asks him to meet her at The Floating Rib. He says he’ll be right there. Alexis asks if she can keep the picture, and he says, of course. He still hasn’t told her why he gave her the watch. He says, it’s beautiful. If nothing else, it proves how much Mikkos cared about her mother.

Curtis asks Nina if she thinks she can keep Valentin busy long enough for them to look for Peter. He helped Peter escape; who knows where he might be hiding? Nina doesn’t think they’re going to find him at Wyndemere. She gets a text from Obrecht, saying their guest requires more painkillers.

We see two people sneaking in somewhere. A hand puts a code in the alarm to turn it off. It’s Curtis and Sam at Wyndemere. Sam explains where the tunnel is, and Curtis finds the way to access it above a China cabinet. Sam tells him that it’s dark and winding, and to be careful. He hopes Nina can keep Valentin busy long enough.

Nina tells Valentin they’re done. She wants a divorce.

Alexis looks at the picture. She opens her jewelry box, and takes out the watch, as the recording of her mother plays.

Ava tells Kiki to say how she really feels. Kiki says she didn’t want to talk about it. Ava knows It’s been a difficult morning, but that’s no reason to judge her. Kiki says it’s exactly what the Twitter trolls are accusing her of. What Ava does causes women not to be taken seriously. She doesn’t want Ava jumping in, taking over, and making threats. Let her do it her way. Ava says she’s made mistakes – many – but she’s changed. Being with Griff has made her a better person. She’s sorry Kiki can’t accept it. Kiki says, her too, and leaves. I notice Ava’s wonderful hoop earrings; a small hoop connected under a large one. I love a hoop.

Franco gets an email from Sarah.

Elizabeth asks Jason how Carly is doing. He hopes to find out. Elizabeth gives him a paper, and says she hopes it works

Mike says Sonny has fine mind. He’s smart and good with people. He could be a lawyer or a senator. Why is he wasting time with thugs and hoodlums? Sonny says they’ve had this argument, and he won every time. It’s doing no good to talk about it right. Mike says, right. They have more important things to talk about. Family takes care of family. He didn’t want to stay with Sonny, but it’s working. Don’t mess with success.   

Carly says it must be a mistake. She was only taking anti-anxiety medication, and it was supposed to be taken as needed. Mary Pat says her intake orders say lorazepam, risperidone, and lithium. Carly says lithium is a mood stabilizer, and risperidone is an anti-psychotic drug. She doesn’t need it, and doesn’t need lithium. Mary Pat says her intake orders say otherwise. Carly says it’s just a surprise, and takes the pills. Mary Pat says trust is earned; open up. She tells Carly to lift her tongue. Ha-ha! I knew it; there’s pill. Mary Pat says she thought so. Did Carly really think she could hide them? So much for being an all-star. Mary Pat says, Rupert, and he stands in front of Carly.

Curtis damn maze check out stable forget it peter not here found this might put on trail

Nina tells Valentin their marriage is over. She wants a divorce. Valentin says he’d give her the world, but not that.

Alexis puts on the watch, and admires it.

Franco wants to talk to Elizabeth. Her phone rings, and she asks if she can call back. She says, congratulations? Who told them she was getting married?

Griff asks if Ava talked to Kiki. She wishes she hadn’t. It turns out her daughter thinks she uses sex as leverage. She’s so ashamed that Kiki is maybe right. She cries in Griff’s arms.

Kiki sits in the locker room. David walks in.

Mary Pat tells Carly that she doesn’t like doing this, but Carly forced her hand. She holds Carly’s nose while Rupert restrains her, and puts the pills in her mouth. She tells Carly to swallow; she can do this all day. Carly swallows them, and coughs. Mary Pat says it’s easier with water and cooperation. She knows all the tricks, and can wait. Rupert tells her not to forget about her ten o’clock appointment. Mary Pat wonders if they should get the restraints; Carly is a duplicitous one. Carly swears she’ll be good, and Mary Pat says, we’ll see Caroline. Rupert cracks his knuckles.

Sonny tells Mike there’s no point in getting worked up about the future right now; they have the present to concentrate on. Mike says like the Bel Air he used to have. It’s not the car to drive around Brooklyn. Sonny says it attracts the wrong kind of attention. Mike tells him you can’t haul a body in the trunk of a car like that. Sonny doesn’t understand what he means, and Mike says he likes a lot of trunk space.

Mary Pat apologizes for keeping someone waiting, explaining there was a problem with a new patient. She says it’s nice to meet him, calling him Mr. Nichols, but it’s Jason. She looks at his resume, and says his letter of recommendation is impressive. She says GH is a fine institution, and asks why he wants to leave and come to Ferncliff. Jason says he heard he can pick up more shifts and make more money. She appreciates his honesty, and says it’s true; they have a hard time finding and keeping custodians. She tells him that many of the patients are seriously disturbed, and asks if he has a problem with that. He says, no, not at all. Rupert watches as Carly starts to fall asleep.

Tomorrow, Kiki tells David to cut the crap, Alexis asks Doc what’s wrong with her, Franco asks Elizabeth what’s going on, and Carly sees Jason.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Dorinda and Ramona are on their way to Bobby Zarin’s funeral. Ramona got a text. They knew it was going to happen, but it’s still sad. Ramona knew how close they were. We see clips of Jill and Bobby. Ramona says she and Jill had a heart-to-heart and whatever descension was between them, they decided to let it go. Life is too short. Ramona says Bethenny hasn’t seen her in six years.

Bethenny says Sonja called while she was in Aspen. We flash back to Bethenny and Jill deciding not to be friends anymore. Bethenny says, despite what happened, she and Bobby loved each other. We see a clip of the three of them having a good time. She says she took a private plane back, and is going to the funeral for Jill.

Dorinda says he was like a Richard, and it’s a loss to the world. They don’t make them like that anymore. She says Bobby held on for a long time. People might not understand, but at some level, it must be a relief for Jill. I totally get that.

Ramona says Bobby lived to make Jill happy. If she was happy, he was happy. She hopes she’s as lucky one day. We see Bobby toast Jill as his wife, lover, and best friend, and telling her that she’ll always have him.

Bethenny can’t leave. She wants to see Jill. She feels badly; not about their relationship, but Jill’s loss. Jill tells her that Bobby loved her, and Jill says she knows. Bethenny says it’s strange; he’s supposed to be next to her. Jill says she’s alone. She hasn’t been since she was twenty, and doesn’t know what to do. Bethenny says she’s alone too. She jokes with Jill, asking, where are the gift bags? and telling her it’s a terrible funeral. In her interview, Bethenny says Bobby would never tell Jill no, but ironically, the one time he did was when she told him to fix it between her and Bethenny. He said she was wrong and had to learn the lesson on her own. Although in the end, he did fix it – with his funeral.

Bethenny calls LuAnn. In her interview, LuAnn says she saw Bobby before she went ot Florida. He was already going home with hospice care, so she knew he was dying. She didn’t expect to get arrested and miss the funeral. She met him even before she met Jill. Bethenny says she’s sorry LuAnn isn’t there. LuAnn is sorry too, but not sorry; she’s learning a lot. She spent New Year’s Eve in treatment. She didn’t know anyone, and was scared. Bethenny says she’s sorry; it sounds lonely. LuAnn says it was a different New Year’s Eve than she’d planned, but thankful. Bethenny can’t wait for her to get back. In her interview, Bethenny says she’s never heard LuAnn so raw, vulnerable, and honest. She thinks LuAnn has been humbled. She’s shocked by way LuAnn is handing it. Bethenny tells the driver (not Kevin) that she can’t take any more emotion. Geez, I can’t. This is making me sad.

Carole meets Tinsley, and they to go to the hotel steam room. Carole points out that it’s hot, and Tinsley says, it’s supposed to be. She says there are great amenities at the hotel. Carole asks if Sonja is a mess. Tinsley doesn’t care anymore; it’s easier to be friendly. Carole says it’s the same with Bethenny. She doesn’t know if Bethenny really sees what she did wrong, but thinks she’s genuinely realized it affected their friendship, and was upset about it. In her interview, Carole says they’re fine, then something happens, they discuss it, it’s fine, and then something else happens. Um… maybe that’s how it goes with some friendships. Tinsley says her mom is coming to town, and she’s trying to prepare.

Ramona is in shock to see her house under construction. She says it looks like she’s starting from scratch, and the construction dude says she is. She has no budget, and he tells her she’d get mad if she knew how much she was spending. There’s no kitchen, and Ramona thinks she should come back when it’s done. She can’t believe there’s nothing there. He says she asked for a new house, and she says, be careful what you wish for.

Tinsley’s mother, Dale, arrives, along with Bambi the chihuahua. Tinsley fawns over Bambi, as I would. She tells her mom that she’s keeping him this time. Her mom asks how Sonja’s visit was, and Tinsley says they had a great time. We see some clips of them goofing around on the terrace, and waving to the neighbors. She says they’re friends again, and she’s super happy. They go to the hotel bar for a drink. Bambi rubs his head on the dog bed like a lunatic, as my dogs do. Celebrity pets – they’re just like ours!

Dale tells Tinsley that she was drinking too much last year. Tinsley says she was getting over the pain, and can’t believe Dale is going there. They get some red wine. In her interview, Tinsley says her mother knows the things she says will probably piss her off, but she can’t help herself. That’s what moms are for. Dale gives her some papers she got in the mail, regarding Tinsley’s egg storage fee. Dale wonders what happens if you don’t pay, but Tinsley doesn’t think they thaw them out. She says this is just one more opportunity for Dale to bring it up. She wasn’t happy with some of the conversation at Christmastime. Dale kept bringing up babies and weddings with Scott. Dale says she did do something bad. She was talking to Scott, and his mother said he had plenty of time, and Dale said Tinsley doesn’t. And if it’s not working out, he should jump ship. Tinsley is horrified, but Dale thinks it’s hysterical that she said jump ship, since they were on a boat. Tinsley looks like she just got a headache, and asks why her mother is making a joke about this. It’s her life; don’t ruin her relationship. In her interview, Tinsley is afraid Dale is going to scare Scott off. She shouldn’t be around him until Tinsley has a ring or walks down the aisle. Dale suggests Tinsley try on wedding dresses, and Tinsley was hoping she would say that. She says they’re not telling Scott.

Carole is writing an article on self-esteem and confidence, and gets call from Michele at Cosmopolitan. It’s due on Monday, but she hasn’t begun it; she’s allergic to deadlines. Michele tells her to send a draft, then come in and they’ll chat about it. It’s a good excuse to get together and gossip. In her interview, Carole says she hasn’t seen Adam in two months. For all she knows, he could be engaged. She doesn’t think so though.

Tinsley and Dale go to the wedding dress showroom. They tell the concierge, or whatever he is, that they’re just there to play. He tells them, if you buy the dress, the party will come, and gets champagne. It’s kind of fun watching him work. In her interview, Tinsley says the first wedding was about her and her mom, not Topper. They had to kick him out early because he had too many opinions.  They look at dresses, and Tinsley says she needs big, poufy, and ballgown. I’m not sure if I like the first one. I’m bad at gown descriptions, but the skirt is half satiny, and the bottom half is netting that I’m not feeling. The next one is more whimsical and fun, and more for me. It’s got a beautiful embroidered netting overlay. The concierge puts a veil on her, and she says she’s starting to feel the possibilities of getting married again are real. Dale says it’s too bad they have no groom. Tinsley says there’s no ring in her future yet. The concierge asks if he knows they’re here, and Tinsley says, don’t tell him.

Dale and Tinsley sit on the loveseat and sip champagne. Tinsley says, wedding dresses, baby eggs. They have everything set up; they just need a husband. In her interview, Tinsley tells us the eggs are just an insurance policy. She’s going to try the old-fashioned way first. Dale is glad she has them. They call Tinsley’s fertility specialist to pay for the egg storage. They talk about what steps happen to create and embryo, and the doctor shows her a picture of her unfertilized eggs. Dale and Tinsley both start crying, and I think they’re insane. Tinsley says they’re her babies. In her interview, she says they’re potentially her children. Tinsley tells Dale that she’s going to do more off them, and Dale wants more eggs right now. Tinsley wants the picture so she can frame it.

Sonja is back at her townhouse. Bethenny visits, wearing SkinnyGirl jeans. Bethenny gives her a few more pairs. Sonja says her business ventures are her creative outlet, and says the shoes she’s wearing are from her collection. She says Sonja Morgan/New York is going strong, and she just got her first licensing deal. Bethenny tells her about visiting Jill with Brynn, after explaining Shiva to her. She didn’t think it was the time to take on a new emotional conversation, but Jill couldn’t believe she was meeting Brynn. Brynn said, hi, to Bobby’s picture. Jill admitted she was wrong, and Bethenny believed her; she seemed different. She wasn’t the same person. She was calm and real. Bethenny is happy there was closure, but wants to keep where it is. In her interview, Sonja says she believed they still cared about each other.

Sonja is glad her house is back in order. We see some before and after clips, and it looks great. She says she’s jealous of the people moving in now. Bethenny suggests she put her fax machine in a dumpster. She hasn’t seen one since Starsky and Hutch. Who is she faxing? Sonja tells Bethenny about her staycation with Tinsley, and shows her the Louis Vuitton thank you gift. I looked this tote up out of curiosity, and it runs about nine hundred bucks. Sonja says it was fun, and she had a nice time. Bethenny wishes she could give LuAnn a hug. She says even seeing Ramona, she felt a connection; they’ve been through so much together. She doesn’t have anger. Ramona doesn’t even know what she does. Bethenny says she’s getting sentimental, and wonders what happened to her.

The ladies (minus LuAnn) go to a workout place called Con-Body. It’s run by Coss, the owner and founder, who was in prison for seven years on a drug charge. Carole says they have to toughen up to keep up with LuAnn. She tells Coss about LuAnn’s arrest, and he asks if she’s married. Ha-ha! Coss is funny. They all get “mug shots,” and Dorinda says she’s afraid of being the next one. LuAnn’s mug shot reeks of cold and loneliness, and scared her so much, she changed her lifestyle. The workout area has bars on the doors. Tinsley says she’s been waiting for this day. This time, she’s prepared for her mug shot. Bethenny says she likes mellow exercise, not someone yelling at her. They do calisthenics. Carole asks Coss what he thinks about LuAnn going to jail, and he asks if she’s a woman of color. Bethenny says, she was on Halloween. He tells Carole that everyone who works there has been in prison. She thinks he should hire LuAnn. Tinsley says she thought she was the OG of jail.

Dorinda tells the others that LuAnn is glad not to be coming directly back to NYC; she’s going to Connecticut. She asked LuAnn if she’d be comfortable with the rest of them drinking, and she said it was fine. They talk about LuAnn being humble and vulnerable. Dorinda was glad she wasn’t one of those people who says they’ll never drink again; she just said she’d do her best. In her interview, Dorinda says LuAnn has outstanding issues, and can’t afford one more fumble. They take a group picture, and we see all their “mug shots” with LuAnn’s real one in the middle.

LuAnn leaves the treatment center. She says the past month has been eye-opening. We see news clips, and the clip of her arrest. She says she was shaken to the core. She calls Dorinda, and says she’s on her way home. She feels really good. Dorinda says it’s been a crazy winter. LuAnn says she didn’t have best last couple of years, and she didn’t really deal with it emotionally. She just kept it moving, and it bit her in the ass. In her interview, she says she was self-medicating and covering her emotions. Dorinda tells her if this didn’t happen, she might have kept going. In her interview, LuAnn says as she was standing in front of the judge, and he was reading the charges she couldn’t believe it was her. She knew she hit bottom, and needed to go to rehab. Dorinda says she must be healthy, and LuAnn says she is. She’s been working out, and lost weight. She can’t remember the last time she was able to be by herself to reflect and think. In her interview, she says she intends to change her life. She’s taking a break from alcohol, and seeing if she can enjoy herself without it. Dorinda tells her that they’re going to the Mayflower Spa. LuAnn says she just wants to be close to home, and can’t believe she said that. She heads to the Palm Beach airport.

Next time, Luann is back, Carole says her dress is the real crime (oh, snap!), the ladies take a trip to the spa, and Ramona is called out for socializing with Tom.

🗽 Bravo has been showing old episodes of the NYC Wives, and it’s fun to see long gone cast members, like Aviva. What a bizarre, nasty person she was. I miss her. And who could forget Kelly on Scary Island?

🍳 Tonight, on MasterChef, Gordon showed the contestants how to cook a crab, get the meat out of it, and plate it nicely using the shell. Those that did a lesser job had to recreate Gordon’s crab Benedict. Oddly enough, my local diner makes that, and it’s pretty good. (I live in a seafood-oriented area.) Gordon’s looked absolutely fabulous. I enjoyed watching them poach the eggs as well. I love a poached egg, and have a very vintage egg poacher; one of the few kitchen items I stole from the house when I moved away from home. At the end, Olosula and Stephanie were out, for not-so-great hollandaise sauce, and not completing a step, respectively. Next time, a trip to feed the workers at the Busch brewery, and a team challenge. MasterChef still has too many people for me to keep track of, so right now, my money is on Chelsea. She has purple and blue hair that I’m loving. Since it’s so early in the game, and I can’t taste the food, I’m just going for the look.

🍵 Gordon Ramsay has yet one more show that premiered tonight. In 24-Hours to Hell and Back, he’s on the road, going to restaurants on the brink of collapse, trying to save them in 24-hours. Using hidden cameras and a hidden Gordon, he checks out what they’re doing wrong, and then steps in. In the first episode, he visited a family-owned Italian restaurant in upstate New York. It was definitely hell. He gave them new décor, a new, smaller menu, and a billboard on a busy highway. Everything improved, but it looked like they could still use some attitude adjustment. No one wants to hear your bickering. This is kind of like that Michael Landon show, Highway to Heaven, but Gordon is the angel. Next time, a restaurant in the French Quarter, where Gordon finds a mouse in the toaster.

💤 And to All a Good Night… or Morning



May 10, 2017 – Nina Has Enough, Ramona Doesn’t Get It, Andy & Abbey



What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


 General Hospital

Valentin tells Anna that he sold the Chimera Project for a spectacular amount of money. Anna says he doesn’t seem concerned, and he says everyone involved is dead. She tells him that just because the buyer is dead, doesn’t mean the Chimera Project isn’t waiting for someone to unleash it.

Curtis and Jordan are having drinks. She tells him it’s okay to be scared. He pours champagne in her athletic shoe, but she stops him from drinking it; she’s impressed enough that he’d do it. He says they have an audience. Andre lurks at the bar.

Nathan is perplexed about Maxie. Nina tells him to call her. He says he will. She asks if he wants to escort her to Windemere. He says it’s nice to feel needed, and she says she’ll always need him. Valentin is still on his run anyway.

Valentin tells Anna that it’s possible the chimera is disabled, but still usable. The buyer died before using it. Anna says that doesn’t mean it wasn’t passed on. All right. What the blip does it do already? Do they even know?

Valentin flashes back to giving Helena (woohoo!) the Chimera Project. It’s in a silver container that looks like a martini shaker with chimera on it. He tells Anna that the buyer was no good at sharing.

Jake is shaking his birthday gifts. He tells Elizabeth what his guesses are. She says hands off until his party. He says it’s not fair, since his birthday is technically over. Elizabeth says he wanted his dad there, and Jake says he should be there now. She says that he went away on an emergency, and will be home soon.

Jason tells Franco that he was Jake’s scarecrow all along. Franco says Jason is what Jake has been afraid of all this time.

Jordan asks if Curtis wants to leave, but he says he’s good. She says she is too. He asks if she’d be good if Andre took up with one of her co-workers, even if it was Valerie. She turns around, and Valerie sits next to Andre. Valerie tells him that this is awkward, and asks if his ears are burning.

Nathan wonders why airline tickets to Portland are so expensive. Tell me about it. Nina offers to get him one, but he says no. She asks if he wants a beer and goes to get one. He looks at his phone, and can’t believe the prices went up again in three minutes time. I feel his pain. Nina comes back in. She says Valentin hasn’t come back from his run yet. Nathan tells her to call him, but she says she knows where he is.

Anna asks Valentin for the name of the buyer, and he says it wouldn’t do her any good. He tells her that if the project still existed, he’d find it and destroy it. She says he doesn’t trust her, and he says for good reason She tells him that she’s been honest since her memories were recalled, but he asks how he would know the difference. He says she’s always had an agenda, and wonders if he ever knew her. She says there’s only one way to find out, or she can disappear from his life for good. I wish.

Jake wants to cancel the party. Elizabeth says if he doesn’t drop the attitude, he’s losing screen time for a week; it’s time for him to exercise patience. He apologizes, and she tells him to forget about the presents and get his homework done. Kiki rings the bell. She says she has a package for Jake from Franco. Elizabeth tells him, homework, and he goes upstairs. Kiki says sorry, she didn’t know it was an issue. Franco had left a note, but she doesn’t know why he didn’t bring it himself. Elizabeth says she got a text that he’s on a mystery errand.

Franco asks what Jason did to Jake. Jason says he didn’t hurt his son. Franco asks what did happen. Jason talks about being in the restraints. He flashes back to a guy beating on him, and saying that rule number one is don’t talk about fight club your life is not your own. Franco can understand why someone would want to shackle and beat hell out of Jason, but if Jake saw it, wouldn’t he have been afraid for him? Jason remembers rule number two is never talk about fight club follow orders. He says someone else there, calling the shots. The guy beating him says he’ll pass out soon. Helena says Jason has survived worse than this. Jason tells Franco that it’s Helena. Like this is some huge shock.

Nina says Valentin is with Anna. Nathan gives her other reasons Valentin could be late. She says he went out to find her or she went out to find him. Nathan had thought they figured it out, but Nina says every time she turns around, she sees Anna, and Valentin acts sketchy, like he has something to hide.

Curtis wants something stronger that doesn’t taste like feet. He tells Jordan that he’s happy Valerie has moved on, and Andre is a lucky man, but not as lucky as he is. Jordan says keep talking.

Valerie flirts with Andre, and asks if he’s uncomfortable. He says no, but Jordan and Curtis might be. He says Curtis was always the third wheel in his relationship with Jordan. Valerie says Jordan is her new boss, confusing me, since I thought Jordan was always her boss. Andre says his advice is, if you don’t like a situation, change it. He leaves, and Valerie says maybe she will.

Curtis’s phone rings. Jordan says she’ll get their drinks. He tells her anything that doesn’t come in a shoe, and answers the phone. She orders the drinks, and says hey to Valerie. Valerie doesn’t look up from her phone. She asks if Valerie is dating Andre, and Valerie asks if she’s going to warn her off Andre too.

Nathan tells Nina that her problem is losing faith and trust, and Valentin is doing nothing to get it back. He asks if she can live that way, and she says no. He tells her to demand more, and she says what if he can’t give it?

Anna says every time she sees Valentin, she’s reminded of the ills she committed against him. He should have been a friend. She says her guilt means nothing to him. He says that means something, but she says not enough. She starts to leave, and he stops her. He says maybe they should get to know each other – who they are now. She says, a fresh start, and Andre pops out of nowhere. He says he didn’t mean to interrupt, and Valentin says he was just leaving. I hate that he’s being snowed by this crap. Has he learned nothing from his Richard III days?

Franco tells Jason that it makes sense, but what they don’t know is what Jake saw. We see the guard beating the living hell out of Jason, and Jason tells Franco that it wasn’t enough. The guard tells Helena that he’ll be no good if he’s dead. She says she always has assets in reserve.

Elizabeth gets a special delivery package.

Franco says she could have meant Jake or any one of her crazy relatives, and asks Jason if Helena gave him any hints. Jason remembers her saying she was pleased with his work. Helena tells Jason that the target was eliminated, but he missed the rendezvous, and it’s unacceptable. After all she’s done for him. The only reason he’s alive is because she met Faison’s price; don’t make her regret it. Jason tells Franco that the guy keeps hitting, and Helena orders more. There’s nothing he can do. He says the rest of the memory is out of reach.

Jason is in the shackles. Franco says, perfect fit.

Elizabeth says the package is from Spencer. Jake asks if he can open it now, since Spencer isn’t going to be at the party. Elizabeth thinks that would be okay. The UPS guy says, happy birthday, little man, which is creepy, and Jake stops for a split second.

Jordan says Valerie’s business has nothing to do with her. Valerie says until she’s done with Curtis. Then she’ll tell Valerie why dating Andre isn’t a good idea. She says she nearly got fired for dating Curtis, but look at Jordan now. Jordan says, sorry she’s hurt. Valerie says she’s grateful that she got out of a bad situation. She hopes it doesn’t cost Jordan’s career like it almost cost hers. Valerie leaves, and Curtis joins Jordan at the bar. He asks what happened, and she says nothing, just talking shop.

Anna asks if Andre is keeping tabs on her. He says it’s public park, and he asks what would have happened if he hadn’t shown up? She says that she planned on uncovering secrets up close that she couldn’t get from surveillance. He asks how close she’s planning on getting.

Nina doesn’t want to give up on her husband. Nathan says he admits that he hates Valentin. He’s making Nina feel lost, lonely, and insecure. She says she loves him and has to decide if it’s worth it. Nathan says sometimes it gets harder before it gets easier. She should start by being truthful with herself, and figure out from there. Valentin walks in, and asks why Nathan is at Windemere. Nina says he took her home, and Valentin senses something is wrong. Nina asks him to tell her if he was with Anna.

Franco says that maybe he should finish what Helena started, and punches Jason. Jason remembers Helena saying that it’s hard to find good help, while the guard keeps punching him. I have to add that Helena is full-on dressed up, complete with several strands of pearls. It’s one of the things I love about her. She never dresses down. She tels Jason that now he’s at her disposal; now he kills for her. She says they’re not alone, and says, hello little man. Jason says he was here; he saw him. Franco asks who, and Jason answers, Jake.

Nina tells Valentin that it’s a simple question. He says he bumped into Anna, and Nina is like, omg. She asks what Anna wanted, but doesn’t let him answer. She says she can’t do this anymore. Every time he says she’s wrong, she puts her faith in him, only to be a loser again. She asks if he’s having affair with Anna, or does he want to.

Anna tells Andre that she’s in a position to acquire information using Valentin’s interest in her. Andre says that Valentin is dangerous, but her condition makes her less so. He tells her that he’s heard about her missing appointments. Anna says she’s fine, and she’s taken procedures elsewhere to avoid prying eyes. Andre tells her not to make him the enemy. She says her illness doesn’t make her infirm, and she can get by without his unique form of condescension. She asks why he foists his opinion on her, and wonders if she’s a distraction from the mess he made with Jordan.

Curtis tells Jordan that she needs a game plan; something to look forward to. He suggests they take a walk, then go back to his place, listen to slow jams and chill. She says, raincheck.

Jake opens the package. It’s a magic set that has all kinds of cool stuff like a top hat and a wand. There’s a box inside the box that says top secret – for magician’s eyes only.

Helena is talking to child that Jason can’t see. Jason tells Franco that Jake must have hidden behind the tree, and watched. Helena tells Jason that he does a clean kill every time, and now he kills for her. Franco says he can see how it would be traumatizing. He wonders how Jake is afraid of Jason though. He undoes the cuffs, and says, it worked, so they’re good. Jason punches him.

Curtis asks Jordan if it’s about Andre and Valerie, or is it about him. She says maybe it’s about her. She tells him that she’ll see him soon, and jets.

Anna apologizes to Andre. Andre says he cares what happens, and she reminds him of boundaries. He says that he won’t tell her how to live her life or do her job, but he won’t stand idly by and let her jeopardize her life. She’s stuck with him.

Kiki asks Jake about the box inside the box, and he says it says it says for magician’s eyes only. She says that’s right, a magician never tells his secrets. She leaves, and Jake sees a note that says, look underneath and you’ll recognize what you find.

Franco is out cold, and Jason sends Elizabeth a text from Franco’s phone saying that he’s all tied up. Jason puts Franco in the shackles and asks how it feels to be in his shoes.

Valentin begs Nina not to leave. She says they’re done with the conversation. Nathan tells Valentin that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. I agree, and I’m very disappointed.

Anna’s phone rings. She says making progress, and it shouldn’t be long until she gets what they need.

Franco says this is the thanks he gets for helping Jason. Jason says he’s going to leave Franco there to think about his actions. He’ll send someone to get him, but until then, he’s going to his son’s birthday party. We see the chimera carved into the tree.

Jake opens the box within the box. It’s the cocktail shaker with the Chimera Project in it.

Tomorrow, Andre talks to Monica about Morgan, Griff hopes the plan works, and Nina leaves Valentin.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Everyone is tending to their dogs. Tinsley picks a poopie up off the carpet. Rich people – they’re just like us! At least their dogs are.

At a restaurant, Bethenny is meeting Sonja, who is late even though she lives around the corner. Sonja says she’s going forward with purging both her house and her mind. Bethenny asks about Ramona’s surprise party. Sonja tells her about Dorinda’s insanity, and how Ramona can’t have an emotionally mature conversation. She gets why Bethenny feels the way she does. Bethenny says Ramona wanted to make her feel shameful. They talk about dating, and Bethenny suggests that Sonja find a new place, since they’re all looking in the same places for men. We flash back to how incestuous dating is in their circle.

Meanwhile in the Berkshires, Dorinda visits her late husband’s grave. It’s the fifth year he’s been gone, and she feels that she can finally let him go. She meets her parents and her daughter at the cemetery. John isn’t there because it’s the family that was. Hannah looks gorgeous. Dorinda lights candles, and they look at the photos in front of the headstone. Carole arrives. She looks smashing, with an entirely black outfit – pants, jacket and blouse – except for a white collar and white gloves. Dorinda says that Richard’s other two children couldn’t be there, but even though Hannah was his stepdaughter, he treated her like one of his own and they had a special relationship. Hannah talks about how his death devastated her, and how she is who she is because of him. She tells them not to cry because it’s over, but smile because it happened. Dorinda is impressed with how Hannah is able to express her feelings. Dorinda speaks, saying that Richard is always in her thoughts, and jokes that sometimes she’s still mad at him. She says she wears her ring on this day every year. In her interview, she tells us about how when someone is sick, a new world is given to you in a split second.

Bethenny is sorting Brynn’s American Doll stuff. At least their accessories aren’t as small as Barbie’s. She says life is different. She’s gotten the real estate bug and finds it therapeutic. She thinks Brynn might be a budding hoarder, but she has to let her fly like a little hoarding bird.

Everyone gathers at Dorinda’s house. Carole talks to her parents, who have been married a looong time. Dorinda says Hannah is ready to move out, and she’s ready to start a new chapter of her life. They talk about Richard and what a great guy he was. Carole tells them about hearing that the homeless people he helped came to his funeral. In her interview, Carole says Richard was a fascinating character, and she’s weirdly obsessed with him. She wishes she’d known him. Dorinda says he had childlike sensibility with an intense mind.

Sonja instructs Tinsley on how to load a dishwasher. Tinsley says she doesn’t know what the rules are, and she’s trying to figure them out. Sonja doesn’t have interns anymore, so she’s blaming Tinsley for everything. Tinsley forgets that Sonja isn’t drinking, and puts vodka in her orange juice. In her interview, Tinsley tells us that she doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. I don’t know what’s in Sonja’s ice tray, but it’s brown. Maybe I don’t want to know.

Luann, Dorinda, and Luann’s other bridesmaids go with Luann to see her wedding dress. She says she feels like she’s living the fairytale. She’s never worn a wedding dress, because she eloped the first time. It’s pretty, sleeveless and simple, with a lace overlay. Dorinda marvels at being 51 and a bridesmaid. The dress isn’t bad. Pink, sleeveless, with a high-low hem. You could probably wear it again, but the chances of Dorinda doing that are zero to none.

Tinsley walks with her friend, Anisha, who has two dogs in a small remote controlled car. She claims it’s cooler than a stroller, and I have to agree, but hope it doesn’t become the norm. It’s hard enough walking in NYC. She asks Tinsley where she’s moving to, but Tinsley doesn’t know yet. She says the Upper East Side isn’t cool any more, but it’s what she knows. Anisha says that Tinsley should live in her building, and hands her the remote. Poor dogs.

Bethenny visits Carole. Carole’s couch is a wreck, but Bethenny says it looks intentional. They talk about Thanksgiving, and the turkey that Adam cooked. Carole says they both like their space, pointing out that it’s really her apartment. Bethenny says she thinks Carole has mixed feelings about Adam living there. Carole is encouraging him to move, since it’s not good for their relationship being together 24/7. She tells Bethenny there’s something about a two-year mark. Neither one of them want to get married, so they wonder what they’re doing. In her interview, Bethenny says at two years you shouldn’t be moving out.

Carole asks about suckerfish Jason Hoppy. Bethenny says it’s like an extermination problem; if you don’t get to the root, it won’t go away. In her interview, Carole says she’s witnessed behavior from Bethenny’s ex that’s beyond bizarre, and hopes it ends soon. Carole is having a get-together with the women to clear the air. Bethenny tells Carole that she doesn’t care about Ramona, and hopes that Ramona leaves her alone.

Ramona calls Dorinda and thanks her for the surprise party. Dorinda talks about being worried that Ramona wasn’t going to show. They discuss Bethenny not coming. Dorinda tells Ramona to use going out for drinks as a way to reconnect.

The girls go to the old Limelight, now called Jue Lan. If Bethenny has the right demeanor, Ramona is going to try and approach her without being confrontational. Bridesmaids dresses are discussed. Ramona says she bought her ticket to Palm Beach, and asks Luann if she gets an invitation. Luann tells her that they were sent out a while ago, but not to her. She says no offense, but she wants her day drama free. In her interview, Luann says Ramona wouldn’t come if she did send her an invite. Ramona says she doesn’t care, but there’s no reason not to invite her, and her feelings are hurt. Omg, they go back and forth, with Ramona feeling insulted and Luann saying sorrynotsorry. Bethenny equates Ramona not wanting to go, but wanting to be invited, to a sex act.

Somehow Bethenny gets reeled in to the argument. Ramona claims people are calling her, and asking if the wedding is on. Luann brings up Ramona saying that people are taking bets. Ramona says it was just a joke. In her interview, Luann says the truth always comes out first, then people say they were just kidding. YES!!!! Bethenny sums it up perfectly by saying that Ramona is being an a-hole.

Luann says cheers, and everyone gladly drinks. She tells Ramona not to say stupid things, and Ramona says it happens from time to time. All of the time. Sonja and Tinsley arrive late. Carole tells Tinsley about two apartments in her building, where she’s on the board. Tinsley says she’d like to check it out. Food comes out, and the girls sit down. Tinsley tells everyone her life story. She married Topper when they were both eighteen, after seeing Andrea do it on 90210.

Ramona corrals Luann, and they discuss Bethenny. Ramona feels awkward. Luann thinks Bethenny didn’t like how Ramona brought up her B-movie past in front of everyone, and suggests Ramona talk to her. In her interview, she says if Ramona wants to poke the bear, have at it.

Ramona approaches Bethenny. She starts talking about friends talking about difficult things they’re going through. Bethenny says she isn’t into being schooled by Ramona, and Ramona calls her strange. She says she spoke to her out of concern, and Bethenny acted hostile. Bethenny says she doesn’t like how Ramona is speaking to her, and Ramona says she can dish it out, but not take it. She can’t answer a simple question. Ramona insists that she’s speaking normally, and Bethenny suggests she’s not very self-aware. Ramona says she was there when Bethenny was sick, and Bethenny says she was there through Ramona’s divorce, which Ramona denies. Bethenny wants to end the conversation, and tells everyone good night.

Ramona squawks that Bethenny doesn’t like the way she talks to her. In her interview, Ramona says it’s all on Bethenny. Ramona tells the women that Bethenny is like a rabid dog sometimes, and Tinsley says that Ramona is too. Carole has no sympathy, and Dorinda thinks Ramona is emotionally heightened, whatever that is.

Next time, Ramona wants to know why it always has to be her, we meet Bethenny’s boyfriend, Dorinda has a charity auction, and Bethenny tells Tom sorry for the drama.

🔬 If you haven’t caught Andy Cohen’s Then & Now, give it a looksee. It’s nicely put together, and a must if you like retrospectives. Like Andy, I enjoy pop culture, so it’s right up my alley. They seem to be randomly hopping around, and this week, 2003 was examined. Starting with Martin Bashir’s documentary on Michael Jackson, a lot of it was concentrated on celebrity-driven reality programs. Newlyweds, WMDs, The Apprentice, Beyonce – a lot happened in 2003. One of the really fun things is remembering the shows you used to watch and the stuff you were once interested in. There’s a lot of, oh yeah, that! Next time, 1985 is inspected. I’m partial to the 80s, and that’s the year I got married. Apparently other things happened too. I can’t wait to find out what.

💃 Abbey Lee Miller is going to just pretend she’s on a movie set when she’s in prison. I’m not even sure what to say, since it’s actually not a bad idea. She’s also going to learn Spanish and write a book. Sounds like a plan.

April 26, 2017 – Anna Sets a Trap, Ramona Has a Dinner & a Coupla Returns


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Ava and Kiki have dinner at The Floating Rib. Ava is proud of Kiki turning her life around. She likes the sound of Dr. Jerome, but Kiki tells her not to get ahead of things. Ava suggests Dillon come with them next time. Kiki wonders why Ava is in such a good mood, and what her secret is for getting over a bad experience so quickly. She asks if there’s a magic pill, and Ava says there are no pills that can help or harm her. Which is a really bizarre statement.

Bobbie runs into Sonny at the hospital. She asks if they should address the elephant in the room. He tells her if she has something to say, have at it. She tells him that having Jax arrested and deported was the worst mistake he could have made. Carly is on the warpath, and he has no one to blame except himself. Frankly, I think everyone is getting too old for this nonsense.

Michael discusses business on the phone. Carly brings beer and hot dogs from Josslyn, and tells him she said he’s the only normal person in the family. She also tells him that Jax has left the building.

Nelle wants to put her mistakes behind her. Nina says her job description just expanded; she’s adding covert operations. Nina wants her to spy on Valentin.

Valentin tells Anna that whatever was between them is over, and she owes him nothing. Anna says she owes him her life. I’m hating Anna right now.

Ava asks Kiki about her job. Kiki says she has a lot to learn, but it’s helping with her studies. She feels like she’s doing something that matters. Ava hopes it doesn’t bring back any bad memories. Kiki says she wants to help people who are dealing with the same illness that Morgan did. She says it’s not all work though; they’re gearing up for the Nurses Ball. Ava asks if she’s performing with Dillon again, and reminds Kiki that it was the first time she and Dillon kissed. Kiki talks about Morgan seeing them, and wishes she could have explained. Ava says everything worked out, and Kiki asks if they should pretend Morgan never existed.

Bobbie tells Sonny that his and Carly’s anger doesn’t affect just the two of them, and it especially affects their children. She says it does no good for them to punish each other. She thinks they should take a step back. They love each other and are grieving. Whatever went wrong, the real problem is that they’ve lost Morgan.

Carly tells Michael about Sonny turning Jax in, and how he had to go back home. She says he’s no longer allowed in the country, and she underestimated Sonny. Michael says Jax isn’t helpless. It will take some time, but he’ll reach an agreement and be able to return. In the meantime, Josslyn can meet him in Mexico or Canada. Carly says he’s acting like it’s not a big deal. He says the last thing she should be doing is getting back at Sonny. She says she won’t do anything he doesn’t deserve. Yep. A lotta leeway there.

Nelle thought Nina and Valentin were solid. Nina says he’s complicated, and likes to keep secrets. She just wants to be kept in the loop. Nelle thinks she should talk to him. The worst thing she could do is assume something and have it eat away at her; she’ll do things she’ll regret.

Griff asks Andre for a quick word. He asks if Andre is aware of Anna having blood cancer, and if she’s told him about receiving treatment outside of GH. Andre is surprised, and Griff wonders if Anna is hiding something.

Valentin tells Anna, apology accepted. She says he saved her from serious complications, and she got a diagnosis. She says she pretends she doesn’t have cancer a lot of the time, but discovered that she’s not indestructible. He says it’s not like she has to go through it alone. She tells him that it’s opened her eyes to her own imperfections, and how blind she was to the real him. He asks if it’s the one she didn’t want to kiss or the one she slept with? She says he endured all the operations and pain, so that he was the same on the outside as he’s been on the inside – tall, straight, and strong. Bleh.

Griff tells Andre that he tried to talk to Anna, but she puts walls up. He says it seems like Valentin has shaken her to the core. Lucy interrupts, saying she’s found two of Port Charles’s most eligible bachelors. She asks them to sign up to perform at the Nurses Ball, and they suddenly have other things to do. Lucy asks them to think about it. Andre pushes her out the door, but Lucy accosts Griff in the hallway. She gets a call, and he runs for his life.

Kiki is annoyed, and Ava says she didn’t mean they should forget Morgan; she just doesn’t want Kiki to be sad. She admires Kiki for the work she’s doing. They hug.

Carly tells Michael that she almost said yes to Jax when he asked her to come with him. Michael asks why she didn’t. Taking time away from Port Charles might do her some good, and she could take things slow. He says just because Sonny is spiraling out of control, doesn’t mean she has to. She says she can’t leave him right now. He asks if it’s because he’s in the same town as Nelle. Carly asks why he’s even thinking about Nelle.

Nina tells Nelle she’s right. Getting other people involved will just complicate things. She suggests they have a girl’s night out.

Sonny tells Bobbie that they haven’t been able to put the pieces back together. She says it can be almost impossible to come to terms with a senseless loss. He says that he has questions, and he’s not stopping until he gets answers. Lucy interrupts. She wants to finalize the donation from Sonny. She sees the bottle of pills in his hand, and it startles her. He asks if something is wrong. Please. These bottles all look the same, and Sonny is on medication. Why would this be so surprising?

Kiki tells Ava that next time, dinner will be on her. Ava says she can be whatever she wants to be, including a smash hit at the Nurses Ball. She says it would be fun to see both of their names in the program. Kiki asks if she’s performing, and she explains that she donated a piece of art that’s worth a lot.

Bobbie asks Lucy if something is wrong. Lucy says it just occurred to her that maybe Sonny doesn’t want to go to the Nurses Ball this year. If that’s the case, she apologizes. He says Morgan was named after Stone, and it’s important, so he’ll be doing the usual. Lucy says there’s something she needs to tell him.

Carly says she understands Nelle in a way that Michael never will. She tells him that when she first got to Port Charles, she met Jason. She was a mess, lying and cheating all over the place. You’d think she would have liked having someone who didn’t judge her, but she ended up sleeping with Jason’s best friend. She couldn’t get out of her own way, and the only way to recognize love was to test it. Jason is her best friend, but doesn’t love her the same way anymore. Nelle is like she was. She’ll destroy whatever she loves. She’ll test Michael until she breaks his heart, and she can’t let that happen. He thanks her for the take-out, and she says that’s his way of telling her he’s doing what he wants. She says she’ll never stop being his mom. He says he’s glad to hear it, but probably not.

Anna tries to talk Valentin into a glass of champagne. She quotes Churchill, and Valentin says how can he say no? He wanders around. His phone rings; it’s Nina. She asks where he is. He says his errand turned out to be more complicated than he thought. Anna makes a sound, and Valentin says he’s losing the connection.

Sonny asks Lucy if it can wait, and she says sure. Andre comes by, and Sonny goes off with him. Lucy wonders why they’d be meeting, and Bobbie says it’s none of their business. She says they’re both trying to make sense of Morgan’s death, and Sonny’s not quitting until he gets answers.

Griff sees Kiki and Ava at the restaurant. They make small talk about Kiki’s job. She jets, and Griff says she took the loss of a loved one and made something positive about it. Ava says she didn’t realize Kiki’s surgeon was a priest, and Griff says he tries not to advertise it, since people tend to want to confess.

Sonny tells Andre about the pills. He wants to find out why they were there and who had them, and maybe it will explain more about his death. He wants to know why Morgan went so out of control. He spills the pills onto the desk and says they’re the answer.

Valentin wants to leave, but Anna insists on one toast. She promises there’s nothing in the glass but expensive champagne. She asks if he remembers what they used to say at the Academy, and Valentin says, “Some drink for God and country, but we drink to us.”

Carly runs into Nelle and Nina. She tells Nina that Nelle is still making life uncomfortable for people. Nina says everyone deserves a second chance. Carly says what about the people who Nelle hurt? Nelle says she’ll take a raincheck, but Nina says no. Carly says Nelle didn’t tell her everything.

Anna pours more champagne, and Valentin tells her take it easy, since she’s on blood thinners. She says maybe they can think of it as a new beginning. He starts to leave, and she tries to give him the watch back.

Andre tells Sonny that the number of pills is consistent with Morgan taking them. Sonny said he didn’t think he’d lie in his own diary. Andre says he’d wondered if Morgan was taking something else that reacted badly with the prescribed meds. Sonny says without an autopsy, they can’t know for sure. He wonders if the pharmacy screwed something up. He wants to know why his son died.

Ava says Griff can take the night off; she has nothing to confess. Not that she hasn’t made mistakes. She says she’s sure he’s heard terrible things about her past, and it’s probably true. She quotes the Bible, saying there’s no sin too great to be forgiven, and Griff says he’d be out of a job if there was. He asks if there’s something on her mind.

Lucy wonders what kind of answers Sonny wants. Bobbie asks if it’s entertainment for her. Lucy says she feels horrible, and she gets no pleasure out of the tragedy. She just thought she could help. Bobbie asks if she has a magic wand, and Lucy says what if she did? Kiki interrupts – the theme of the day – and tells Lucy good going, getting Ava to make the sculpture donation.

Ava tells Griff that he came there for ribs, not someone bearing their soul. He says it doesn’t have to be in church. He’s sure there have been plenty of confessions on barstools. She asks if she can buy him a drink and orders two martinis. They sit at the bar.

Sonny thanks Andre. He’s going to send Morgan’s pill to the recommended lab. Andre says he thinks it will give Sonny peace of mind. Sonny doesn’t know if that’s possible, but he’ll settle for justice. In the hallway, Kiki overhears.

Michael talks business on the phone. He says sometimes you have to cut your losses. He looks at Nelle’s number on his phone.

Carly tells Nina that Nelle never actually slept with Sonny. She drugged him and lied. She tells Nina proceed at her own risk.

Valentin tells Anna that he can’t take the watch. Anna says she guesses it was just wishful thinking. She needs to feel that something that is irreparably broken can be fixed. He says if it means that much he’ll take it. She puts it on his wrist and thanks him looking at him all creepy. He leaves, and I wish he’d smash it.

Anna drinks more champagne and smiles. If I don’t find out that Valentin has done something astonishingly awful, she is pure evil.

Nelle says there’s nothing Nina can say that she hasn’t said to herself. She knows she’s not wanted. Nina says that she’s going to take advantage of Nelle’s extracurricular talents. She’s going to spy on Valentin. And knowing him, Nelle had better be damn good at it.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth tells Franco that it’s not Jason who’s scaring Jake, Laura thinks Tracy will do the right thing, and Carly asks Alexis to represent her in the divorce. Um…she has no license.

The Real Housewives of New York City

It’s time for Ramona’s dinner party. Tinsley is nervous to meet Dorinda. She’s worried that if she likes Dorinda, Sonja will be mad at her. Because we’re in middle school. In her interview, Dorinda thinks Tinsley isn’t paying rent to Sonja in Benjamins, but paying in other ways. Tinsley talks about her arrest. Dorinda says there isn’t anyone in the room who hasn’t screwed up. In her interview, Tinsley says she likes to get the elephant out of the room right away.

Carole tells Sonja that she missed a fun dinner – that ended very abruptly – explaining how Ramona brought up Bethenny’s not-that-sordid past, under the guise of being concerned about her daughter. Sonja doesn’t think it’s a big deal, and we flash back to some of Sonja’s stage performances. Luann tells Tinsley how she had a better room when she stayed with Sonja. Luann asks Carole about the election party. Carole thinks Ramona doesn’t really want to come, and I translate that to Carole doesn’t want her to come.

Dinner is served. Dorinda says Ramona is a great cook, but she’s not buying that Ramona cooked what they’re eating. They talk about their housing situations, and in her interview, Sonja talks about how Ramona rescinded her invitation to stay over. Sonja tells Dorinda that she looks gorgeous, and Dorinda responds by telling Sonja to quit talking smack about her. Dorinda tells Sonja to shut her mouth, and calls her private parts The Holland Tunnel. Holy! Luann tells Dorinda to calm down. Carole laughs into her linguine. Ramona was hoping that Dorinda would wait at least until desert, or (God forbid) do it privately. Dorinda brings up the stripper at Luann’s shower, and asks if Sonja had a good time. Tinsley says she doesn’t know the history, and tries to say that Sonja wanted to smooth things over, but Dorinda won’t have it.

Luann decides to jump in, saying a blogger wrote that Sonja wouldn’t be caught dead at her wedding. Sonja says she wouldn’t miss it, but had planned her vacation long ago. Dorinda says you need an invitation to go to a wedding, and you can’t go to something you’re not invited to. In her interview, Carole tells us that this is Dorinda on Diet Coke, and we can just imagine had the martinis been flowing. She says Dorinda has a valid point, but it gets lost in the delivery. Sonja suggests Luann talk to her rather than reading the newspaper.

Some dude tries to stop it from getting out of control by proposing a toast. Carole says may the best woman win the election. Dorinda brings up Sonja having worked for Donald Trump, and starts insulting her about some other things. Tinsley thinks it’s the wrong place to have this conversation, and Dorinda calls Sonja a liar and a fraud, and starts hopping around. She says some oddball stuff, and makes references to Grey Gardens. She leaves the room, and another guest thinks it was mean and unnecessary. Carole brings up that Sonja was quoted in yesterday’s paper, and ties the whole thing to Sonja not being invited to the Berkshires. In her interview, Tinsley says they were both hurt, but she doesn’t think it was as one-sided as Sonja presented it. Bethenny calls Carole. She’s there to pick Carole up, and can hear the screaming all the way to the car. She says she’s like Joe Pesci in Home Alone, sitting in the van, eavesdropping.

Sonja gets up, and Dorinda starts to follow her, but wisely sits down. Tinsley says they’re just yelling and not giving Sonja a chance. In the kitchen, Sonja tells Ramona that Dorinda needs to calm down. Ramona thinks they should hash everything out. Carole asks Bethenny to wait ten minutes. She doesn’t want to stay – it’s literally a nuthouse – but she wants to talk to Ramona. Bethenny say this is the best decision she ever made, and the best party she’s ever attended.

Carole tells Ramona she doesn’t think that she should come to the election party, because she doesn’t want drama. In her interview, Carole says it’s not that Ramona is voting for Trump, but she acts like a know-it-all when she doesn’t know anything. Ramona says they’re a bunch of fakes. Dorinda still won’t shut up about Sonja. Carole sneaks out. Ramona brings out a birthday cake for the November babies, which was supposed to include Bethenny, and Sonja blows out the candles.

Luann hosts a brunch. Candace Bushnell, who was also at Ramona’s dinner, is a guest. I’m wondering how she got caught up with this crowd. Dorinda is feeling relieved, and like she’s given birth. She points out that there are cider donuts. I’d never heard of these before, and a neighbor gave me some last Christmas. They were incredible, and I ate them like they were the last donuts on earth. In her interview, Dorinda says that she’s not a grudge-holder, and life is too short. Apparently not for a ceaseless tirade. Ramona gripes about Carole disinviting her to the party, and thinks Bethenny should have shown up at the dinner. Dorinda says it takes a long time for her to get to that point. There was no gently talking to her.

Sonja and Tinsley walk to Luann’s. In her interview, Sonja thinks Dorinda didn’t mean everything she said, and half of it didn’t make sense. Dorinda talks about a middle-aged woman living in the past being unattractive. Ramona asks if she likes Tinsley, and she says she does. The girls arrive. Dorinda and Sonja hug. Sonja says she feels good because they’ve both gotten out what they need to. In her interview, Tinsley says she guesses this is how they do it. Everyone is happy for the moment.

Luann announces that this is a breakfast/brunch/renovation party, and gives them a  tour of the addition. Sonja says she’s happy for Luann, and tells her to let things slide. In her interview, Luann says she has a hard time believing this will last. Me too. They watch the ducks go by on the water. Tinsley and Luann talk on the deck. Sonja tells Ramona that she was invited to the wedding, and in her interview, Ramona says Sonja likes to make things up. We know. Luann toasts to happiness and friendship, and suggests zipping it when someone comes toward any of them with a microphone.

Back in the city, Tinsley meets Dorinda for dinner. She says it’s been difficult connecting with her old friends. Luann joins them, and she and Dorinda are dressed the same. Dorinda wants to do something special for Ramona’s 60th birthday. We flash back to her birthday lunch last year. She says the biggest problem with planning the party is everyone keeping their mouths shut. I’ll bet. I had lunch with a birthday girl the same day as her surprise party, and I almost said, “See you later,” when we parted company. Tinsley wants to make sure there are no issues with her being friends with Sonja, who she didn’t tell about the dinner. Dorinda thinks she’s brave. She says Sonja can be jealous and holds grudges.

Sonja speaks to Frenchie (Edgar), the new man in her life. They plan to meet in an hour. In her interview, Sonja says he’s smart, romantic and all good things; possibly too good to be true. She goes through her underwear, wondering what’s best to watch a movie in.

Luann talks about planning Tom’s birthday. Tinsley talks about getting arrested, and how it gets expunged from her record after a certain amount of time. Dorinda admits you do crazy things when you’re in love. In her interview, she says that love and hate mixed with jealousy and alcohol is a bad combination. They discuss Tinsley’s mug shot, and toast to reinventing yourself.

Dorinda brings lunch to John at work. She tells us they’ve been dating four and a half years, and they’re happy. We learn that John has lost weight and his blood pressure is down. Dorinda says John is gun-shy, since he doesn’t have a great track record with the ladies. She talks about Hannah moving out. Since she has a rule about not having sleepovers with kids around if you’re not married, this is exciting for John. I usually give John a “bleh,” but he seems almost tolerable.

Carole has two kittens and a dog, all named Baby. Bethenny says the creative juices are flowing, and Carole can write a novel, but can’t come up with three names for her pets. Carole says she and Adam are “shacking up.” Carole doesn’t want to look at it as living together, because it’s too serious. Adam is planning on getting his own place eventually. She asks about suckerfish Jason Hoppy, and Bethenny says she’s done; she’s not going on like this. She brings up Ramona talking about her daughter. She says she wishes Ramona well, but she’s hit the wall. Even if she made up with Ramona, they’d just end up in the same place again.

Sonja talks to her assistant about Tinsley seeing her friends more than her. She found out about the dinner, and some other thing, and wonders how to bring it up. Tinsley overhears. In her interview, Tinsley is shocked, since Sonja wanted her to go out with her friends. Tinsley comes in and tells Sonja about hearing what she said. They discuss who is close friends with who. Sonja says don’t make her feel bad, and Tinsley tells Sonja not to make her feel bad. In her interview, Tinsley wonders if because she’s staying in Hannah’s room, Sonja is treating her like a daughter, and telling her what to do. Sonja says it’s just a matter of etiquette, and she should have been invited; she’s hurt, not angry. She brings up her birthday. Tinsley says she gave Sonja a candle, but Sonja says that’s because she’d brought a man home, and that’s a no-no in her daughter’s room. Geez, Tinsley couldn’t even cough up a birthday gift for Sonja?

Next time, Carole’s Ramona-less election party, Carole ruins the surprise, and Ramona tells Sonja that they’re not friends.

🗽 Important news – Million Dollar Listing NYC begins on Thursday, May 29th at 9 pm.

🐎 I also can’t wait for Return to Amish, this Sunday night at 8 pm (TLC). Mary is my all time favorite reality show cast member. Aside from LVP, of course.


April 19, 2017 – Conscious Coupling & Un in PC, NYC’s Wives Invade the Hamptons & Some Extra Stuff


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Jordan’s knight in shining armor, Curtis, arrives. He tells her the armor is spiritual. He has something amazing in mind, and holds up a leather bag.

Tracy mulls over Samira giving her Edward’s journal. There’s nothing in it to explain why Samira’s mother had it. Tracy looks into a box, and takes out a carrying case that says ELQ on it. Monica startles her, saying she knows what Tracy is doing, and to be honest for everyone’s sake.

Brad hassles Finn. He says Finn should have been booted from the hospital. Finn tells him to take it to Monica. Brad says he only got off the hook because he donated the money to the hospital. Finn gets the glory, while Brad is out of a condo. Finn suggests Brad repeat everything while he does this – and walks away. He runs into Griff, who says he’s Finn’s new supervisor.

Michael asks Sonny if he’s still thinking about going to South America. He says Sonny should leave Port Charles immediately, before the mess he made gets worse.

At the station, Carly tells Jax that Josslyn wants her to help with anything possible, so she’s gotten him an attorney. She opens the door to the interrogation room, and Nelle is there.

Tracy asks Monica how she’s not being honest. Monica says she’s grieving for her father all over again. Tracy says it’s time to face the ugly truth; Monica has learned how to read her. She says she’s trying to prove things in her own way. Samira appears, and thanks them for putting her up for the night. Tracy says she’s thought of new possibilities. Samira thinks she’s rethinking the painting, but Tracy explains that it can be traced back to her because she declared it with customs. She says even if it was possible, she’s not giving up her father’s legacy.

Hayden looks at a picture of her and Finn on her phone.

Griff is responsible for Finn’s drug testing. He says he’s not judging, and he’s there for Finn. Finn says he gets it. Griff has the thankless job of watching while he pees in a cup, but he doesn’t have to share his feelings; he doesn’t need a priest. Brad acts all skanky, listening from around the corner.

Michael tells Sonny that Jax was incarcerated overnight. He says Sonny put the whole thing in motion. Sonny says that Jax did that a long time ago, and now he has to pay.

Nathan tells Carly that Nelle has to make a statement. Nelle says she wants everyone to hear what she has to say.

Griff tells Finn that if he pushes away everyone trying to help, his recovery is going to be difficult. Brad takes notes.

Curtis produces a bowling ball. Jordan asks for pointers. Curtis gives her the ball, and some tips. She drops it, and it rolls away. She says she’s sorry to her neighbors downstairs, and Curtis says they’d better get used to noise. They start to kiss, but TJ knocks on the door.

Monica asks for a moment with Tracy. She tells Tracy that she knows how important the painting is, but this is an extreme situation. Tracy brings up the customs issue, and Monica says that if Samira gets caught, they can say she stole it. Tracy says that if Samira ends up in prison, that would be making a bad situation worse. Monica says she’s right, and Tracy wants that for her ringtone. She says it’s happening too fast. Samira showed up out of the blue and for all they know, she’s working with Larry. Monica suggests asking her some more questions.

Monica sits Samira down and says they want to know about her family life. Samira says she’d rather talk about their family. She sees how much Tracy loved her father, and talks about his kind eyes. Tracy says that Samira doesn’t know anything about Edward and never will.

Finn comes to Hayden’s office. He wants to talk about their last conversation. She says he needs to focus on his rehabilitation, and unless it’s hospital business, there’s nothing to discuss. He says compared to not talking to her getting off drugs should be easy. He’s wondering if when he gets through this, if she would give him a chance to make things right between them.

Nathan starts recording Nelle’s statement.

Griff asks Brad what he wants. Brad says it gives him no pleasure, but he feels it’s his duty to tell him what he knows about Finn.

Finn isn’t asking Hayden to be there while he’s in rehab, but wants to know if he’ll have a chance later. She says she’s been thinking about her decisions. She tells him how her father had always insisted on a huge Passover celebration, and he would talk about family, work, and unity, and how hard work pays off. Meanwhile, he was ripping people off right and left. All that talk about what truly mattered was a lie, and she ended up just like him, a liar and a user. Then she met Finn, but even though he brings out the best in her, she can’t make promises she might not be able to keep.

Tracy tells Samira that Monica forgot her manners, and Monica says people often wonder if she was raised by wolves. Tracy says that Monica married into the pack, but she requested breakfast for Samira. Tracy asks if she would like some orange juice, but Samira says she couldn’t eat a thing.

Michael asks Sonny why have Jax arrested for something he would have done himself? Sonny says that wasn’t his intention; he only wanted the confession as leverage. Michael wonders for what, since he wanted Jax to leave. Michael says that Jax isn’t the reason that Sonny and Carly broke up. Sonny says the reason is over; he didn’t sleep with Nelle. Michael says it’s about Morgan.

We don’t hear Nelle’s whole statement, but she ends with saying that she won’t be pursuing legal action. Carly asks if Jax is free to go, but Nathan says not yet. Carly says she’ll be back, leaving Jax and Nelle alone. Jax asks Nelle why.

Carly asks Nathan if it was enough. She says Sonny has a recording of Jax’s alleged confession, but she wants to know if Jax can be prosecuted using Nelle’s statement.

TJ returns Jordan’s laptop that he borrowed. He says he finished up early, and asks if they’re a couple now. They both stammer, and TJ says he’s been there. Jordan says they were just discussing going on their first date. They haven’t figured out if it’s serious yet, but would he be okay with that?

Tracy understands that Samira is worried and can’t eat. She says she’s the same way, but starving herself isn’t going to help her or her daughter. Samira asks for some water, and Tracy gets it. Geez, could she spare it? There’s like two inches in the glass. She says that she got Samira some new clothes and maybe she’d like to change. Monica leaves to make some calls.

Samira thanks Tracy for her generosity. She was hoping to convince Tracy of her sincerity. with the journal and ring. Tracy says she’d be happy to compensate her, but Samira says her father would want her to have them. Tracy says he wanted her to have the painting. Samira says maybe they can explore some other solutions. When she goes upstairs, Tracy puts the water glass in a plastic bag.

Griff tells Brad that he’s not at liberty to discuss Finn, and it would be inappropriate for Brad to ask about him. Brad says he’s on his way to the lab, and he’ll take the sample there, as he takes it from Griff’s hand. Why is Griff letting him do that??? Especially after what he just said.

Finn tells Hayden that he’s sorry for the interruption. He’ll send her a budgetary proposal through interoffice mail, so she doesn’t have to see him. Hayden says in order to stay clean, he has to follow the rules, and asks if he can do it.

Michael tells Sonny that if Morgan was still alive, he and Carly wouldn’t be doing this. They never did this kind of damage, and she’s forgiven him for worse than Nelle. She can’t get past it because Morgan is dead. When she wouldn’t forgive him, Sonny did something worse. He wanted to push her away, but it’s not going to lessen the grief; it will only add to it.

Nelle tells Jax that there are a lot of reasons why she wants to let it go, but she doesn’t want to hurt Josslyn anymore. She says what happened is on her father, not Jax. Jax says he’s still partly to blame. Nelle says he was willing to do anything for his daughter, and her father saw her as a way to get money. She’s not going to punish him for doing what she would have wanted her father to do. She tells him to tell Josslyn. She says something bad happened to her, and she had the choice to do something good, but instead chose to feed her own anger, lashing out and hurting people. She ended up hurting herself just as badly. She says an old friend told her that you can carry hurt with you or focus on the good and move on, and she’s trying to do that.

Nathan tells Carly that if victim refuses to testify, it shouldn’t go any further.

Finn tells Hayden not to worry. She says that she needs to know he’ll stick with it, with or without her. He says he’ll be fine with her or not. He leaves, and Griff walks in, wanting to talk about the budget. He can see that Hayden is upset, and he says he knows she’s worried about Finn. Well, she should be more worried than she is, since Griff is so loosey-goosey with Finn’s drug test.

TJ tells Jordan that the situation is odd, but he loves the both of them, and wants them to be happy. He hopes it works out, since it will be awkward if it doesn’t. He’s got to leave, and Curtis tells him be good, study hard, and you are the future. Curtis tells Jordan that they had to tell TJ, and that he seemed surprised, but he’s basically coming around. Jordan says he’s concerned about what happens if it doesn’t work out, and Curtis says she seems like she is too. She admits that she is.

Tracy sees Finn at the hospital. She says a situation has come up where she needs his help.

Michael tells Sonny that Josslyn is heartbroken. She already lost Morgan. He says Sonny isn’t thinking with his right mind. He’s grieving, and it’s messing with judgement and sense of perspective. It has nothing to do with him being bi-polar, but losing his son. Michael says he needs to find a better way to deal with the loss, rather than hurting everyone Morgan loved. Michael tells Sonny that he can try to fix it, but first he needs to know where Jax is in regard to the charges.

Nathan tells Carly that he’s taking Jax to the lawyer. Carly has something to say to Nelle.

Jordan tells Curtis they’ve been through a lot. Her attraction to him is definitely real, and they’ve both made a lot of mistakes in life. If they start this, and it blows up in their faces, she doesn’t want it to destroy their friendship. Curtis says that he shares her concern. She asks what now? He says there’s only one way to find out if it’s a mistake or real – do some serious bowling. I love Curtis.

Hayden says she can’t discuss it right now. Griff understands, but he’s hoping for the best. He thinks if Finn stays on the straight and narrow, it will be fine.

Tracy asks Finn to focus. She needs a DNA test done.

Monica wonders where Tracy went. The doorbell rings. It’s a man looking for Samira. He wants to speak to her now.

Michael tells Sonny that Jax is being released.

Carly thanks Nelle for not pressing charges, and Nelle says she wants the pain to stop. Carly says she’s on to her now. Almost everything Nelle has done, she did too. She says that Nelle wants to look good for Michael. She wants Michael to think he’s gotten through to her and she’s changed. She may want to believe she’s good enough for Michael, but she’s a damaged, screwed up little girl, who will end up trashing everything good she’s given. Carly says she’ll do everything she can to stop her.

Tomorrow, Tracy wants no questions asked, Franco thinks Jake is in serious trouble, and Nelle asks Carly when it’s going to be enough.

I have to mention how annoying it is to me when Carly says Nelle is just like her, then denies her the same graciousness that she ended up getting. She slept with her mother’s husband, for Pete’s sake. (Who is Pete anyway?) I’m sure I could look for some deep-seated psychological reason, such as Carly really doesn’t like herself, and is treating the Nelle the way she thinks she should really be treated, but I don’t have time.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Luann and Dorinda go to Luann’s house in Sag Harbor. Bethenny and Carole are staying at Bethenny’s place, and Bethenny is threatening to lock up Carole and Donald Trump in the guest house together. Bethenny talks to Carole about Sonja being bitter because she wasn’t invited to the Berkshires.

Sonja tells Tinsley about the talk she had with Luann. In her interview, Tinsley says if Sonja wants a friendship with Luann, she’ll have to drop talking about Tom.

Dorinda tells Luann that Sonja keeps talking smack about her. Luann tells her that Tinsley is living with Sonja right now. Dorinda says Sonja keeps talking about being sober, but for all they know, she could be drinking tequila through of a crazy straw at this very moment. She received a picture of Sonja and a stripper at Luann’s shower, and thinks Sonja’s life is in chaos.

Tinsley asks Sonja how she’s going to feel about seeing Dorinda. Sonja regrets not having her at the tea party, and says that two wrongs don’t make a right. Sonja and Tinsley compare underwear.

Carole wants a mellow weekend, since she has election stress. She’s feeling malaise. Please. She talks about Ramona getting irritated with her at the tea party when she was talking about the election. In her interview, Carole says Ramona isn’t interested in politics, and Bethenny says it’s all Carole talks about – all roads lead to the election. She adds that Carole doesn’t want to talk to anyone who isn’t on what she perceives as her political level. I can tell I’ll be gritting my teeth through this season, the same way I do when I go to Facebook.

Luann, daughter Victoria, and Dorinda go for a boat ride. Dorinda misses having a boat. They talk about Luann losing her countess title, which just now dawned on her daughter. In her interview, Luann says that Countess is part of who she is, and once a countess, always a countess. We all admire the fall colors in Sag Harbor.

Carole and Bethenny go for some acupuncture. Can they stick a needle in Carole’s brain so that she stops talking? Carole tells the acupuncturist that she’s stressed. In her interview, Bethenny says she’s never heard Carole say she’s stressed, and has wondered at times if she even had a pulse. Bethenny gets something done on her back. The acupuncturist looks at Carole’s tongue, and she also shows him fungus on her toe. Bethenny tells her that he’s not a podiatrist, and he’s like yeah, you need a different kind of healer for that. In her interview, Carole says Bethenny is in a secret, quiet hell due to suckerfish ex Jason Hoppy. Bethenny gets some cupping done. She wonders if Luann is going to say anything about the Tom thing in Miami when they get together, but Carole thinks she’ll keep it moving rather than face having a real conversation.

Bethenny and Carole arrive first for dinner. They see Ramona’s ex business partner at another table. Ramona arrives from visiting Avery. She claims the kids in Avery’s dorm look at her as a friend, but my guess is that they look at her as an anomaly, and probably an embarrassment. They look at pictures on Ramona’s phone while she fishes for compliments.

Dorinda and Luann arrive. Dorinda is anxious. She hasn’t seen Bethenny since the reunion, and there was a lot of tension. She and Carole talk about the election being scary, stressful, and close. They move on, discussing Luann’s house addition. Bethenny asks Ramona if she’s coming to the election party, but she feels like Carole already hit her over the head with it. Bethenny says that Carole doesn’t want people there who aren’t “informed,” and Ramona says everyone has their own interpretation. In her interview, Carole says her party is bi-partisan and everyone is invited…sort of. Huh? I certainly can’t imagine it being bi-partisan in any way.

Ramona asks Bethenny if her daughter has been approached by anyone since Bethenny did “soft porn” in her past, and it was in the tabloids recently. I missed that. She says yes, Diane Sawyer tracked her daughter down at the schoolyard. Ramona expresses concern, but Bethenny blows it off. In her interview, Bethenny says if anyone had brought it up, she would have just made some self-deprecating remarks, but Ramona is trying to embarrass her and has hit a new low. She says she needed the money and had wanted to be an actress at one time. Ramona says she doesn’t like Bethenny being defensive. Bethenny says it was a cheesy movie where she was a murderer. Ramona is all insulted because Bethenny doesn’t care. In her interview, Ramona says good friends should be able to ask each other questions. Luann says she doesn’t think Bethenny wanted Ramona to bring up her ex porno life, and Bethenny is like, you do realize I can hear you, right?

Bethenny says she thought Luann wrote a book on etiquette. Luann asks if what she said was wrong, and Bethenny says not if she’d said it to her, but it’s wrong to speak about her like she’s not there. She tells Ramona that she looks a bit wild, and Ramona says she doesn’t like Bethenny’s attitude. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s starting to sweat, and Ramona has the delivery of a lead balloon. Ramona tells Carole that because she doesn’t have children, she doesn’t understand. In her interview, Carole compares Ramona to Donald Trump and I want to cry. I’m hoping I don’t have to stop watching this. Ramona says Bethenny is rude, and Luann seconds it, but Bethenny says she doesn’t care what they think about her. Luann declares that Bethenny has shown her true colors, and doesn’t care about anyone except herself. In her interview, Luann gripes about Bethenny not asking about the wedding plans. Ramona calls Bethenny a witch, and decides to talk to Luann, deliberately turning away from Bethenny. Bethenny says she’s been called a witch and wicked, and she’s leaving. In her interview, Luann talks about Bethenny insulting her in the Berkshires, and how she didn’t leave. That was pretty bad. She thinks Bethenny should put on her big girl pants and stay. Carole gets up to go next. She thinks suckerfish Hoppy is enough; Bethenny doesn’t need this from Ramona.

Tinsley and Sonja arrive at Sonja’s house in the Hamptons. Sonja can’t wait for Ramona’s dinner party (why?), even though she wasn’t invited to stay at Ramona’s house. Sonja shows Tinsley to her room, and acts like an idiot bouncing on the bed.

Ramona, Luann, and Dorinda go to a winery for lunch. They discuss the previous evening. Ramona acts like she didn’t say anything outlandish, and just presented a hypothetical situation of concern to Bethenny. Luann says that Bethenny can dish it out, but not take it. In her interview, Dorinda says she didn’t even get to take a breath before Ramona started talking about it.

Bethenny says Ramona likes to find dirt about someone and bring it up. Truth! This reminded me of when she walked off the first (I think) reunion because Alex McCord had done some nude art photos. Bethenny is glad she doesn’t have to go to Ramona’s. She did get Ramona a gift, and Carole suggests she put her own name on the card and bring it. She’s kidding, just in case you questioned that. Bethenny is going to pick Carole up from Ramona’s later.

Dorinda tells Luann and Ramona about Sonja’s smack talk on Facebook. Filing that under who cares? Dorinda brings it up on her phone, and says she’s done. She doesn’t want to ruin Ramona’s party, but she might not be able to help herself. What happened to her telling Luann that she was going to act like a lady? Dorinda says Sonja is going to get it tonight.

Sonja tells Tinsley that Dorinda doesn’t have manners, but she wants to get back to being social friends and move forward. Tinsley is concerned that Sonja will be upset if she likes Dorinda, but Sonja says that won’t happen. Tinsley is nervous, and Sonja says it’s her fault.

Ramona sets things up for her dinner party. People we don’t know arrive, along with Dorinda. Dorinda shows Ramona more comments about her that Sonja posted. She says she’s going to make an effort to be cordial. Like that has ever happened.

Commercial break that annoys me. The first one is Maya Rudolph advertising Seventh Generation cleaning products, when she also advertises Clorox. Aren’t those opposite ends of the cleaning spectrum? Then I see Jeffrey Tambor promoting Tide, and wonder how much more money he needs? I can’t stand it when wealthy, well-known actors take jobs away from starving artists.

Carole arrives at Ramona’s place. Dorinda tells her about Sonja’s online comments, and how she said she’d never go to Luann’s tacky wedding. Dorinda says she has a mole, as in an investigative person, and has a file on Sonja a mile wide. Dorinda isn’t on the martini train tonight because she’s stalking prey.

Sonja says in her interview, that her MO is to never confront. She doesn’t deal with the elephant in the room, and is all about decorum. She and Tinsley walk into Ramona’s house.

Next time, the dinner commences, Carole tells Bethenny that it’s a nuthouse while Bethenny watches from outside, Dorinda informs Sonja that you need an invitation to go to a wedding, and Ramona is disinvited to Carole’s election party.

A Quote that Can’t Wait for Friday

Do one thing every day that scares you.Eleanor Roosevelt

🙌 Imposters has been renewed! It will be back in 2018. Hopefully, I’ll make it until then.

😹 Michael Rapaport is always hysterically funny on Watch What Happens Live, and tonight was no exception. He makes me literally lol.

April 12, 2017 – Anna Gifts Valentin, Sonja has a Mad Hatter Party & Bette is Still Feuding with Joan


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Anna leaves a note for Valentin saying she doesn’t want to be his enemy, and maybe they’ll learn that time heals all wounds. She’s also included a free watch.

Anna’s doorbell rings. It’s Laura. She wants to talk about Valentin.

Valentin examines the watch. Nina wants him to zip up her dress, but he’s hiding the watch and note behind his back, so he can’t.

Tracy wants to exchange the wall-hanging in the den for the painting. She tells Monica that she acquired the perfect piece.

Hayden tells Curtis that Finn disappeared. Not totally. He’s passed out in an alleyway, and looks kind of bloody.

Nina asks Valentin if he has a present behind his back, but Valentin tells her no. Nina thinks he’s lying. He tells her she’ll be disappointed, and he shows her the note. I don’t know if “disappointed” is going to be the right word. Valentin says that Anna came by and surprised him. Nina wonders why he didn’t tell her. He flashes back to Anna saying that their night together meant something. Valentin says she wanted to put past behind them. Nina asks if he believes that, and he asks if she does.

Laura tells Anna about Lulu’s canceled visit with Charlotte, accusing Valentin of sabotage. She thinks Lulu is too emotional, and Valentin can easily exploit that. Anna says they’ve made peace.

Monica tells Tracy that it’s her house. Tracy tells her to take pride in it then, and hang something worthwhile. Ned comes in, and she tries to get him on her side. Monica tells Ned he’s in charge while she’s at work, and if the tapestry is missing, take Tracy to a hotel.

Tracy shows Ned the covered painting. He says Larry wasn’t pleased about her skipping town without him. He tells her that he and Olivia-F are engaged.

At the hospital, Andre says it looks like Brad got good news. Brad says a condo he and Lucas had their eye on is available.

Hayden tells Curtis that Finn’s room wasn’t used last night. He says he’ll lecture her later on about enabling, but right now he’ll look for Finn. And this one is on him. She promises to keep her lips to herself, and says she’ll leave that to Jordan. Jordan appears, and says lucky her.

Finn is in the hospital. Griff wants to do a neurological test. Finn says he can’t feel his face, and tries to analyze things, but Griff says let him do the doctoring. (Is doctoring a medical term?) He has Finn do some simple tests to check his motor skills. He asks if Finn knows how he sustained the injuries. Finn says not really. Griff asks if he wants to tell the police what happened.

Nina says she barely knows Anna, and doesn’t like her. Valentin says she seemed remorseful, but he doesn’t totally trust her. Nina is concerned about Lulu’s visit, and Valentin says Charlotte isn’t going anywhere; Lulu is a loose cannon, and it will sink her. He suggests they go out afterwards, and Nina says sounds like a plan. Nina leaves for work, and Valentin calls someone, saying he has a job for them.

Laura reminds Anna that she thought Valentin was out to get her, but Anna says he had his reasons. She says in her past, she did some things that could be considered treason, and Valentin was a victim. She had no memory of it, and was suppressing it because she didn’t want to deal with it. She met with a WSB specialist who restored her memories. Laura says memory is flawed, but Anna says she’s sure it happened. She can’t take it back, so she needs to make it right. Laura says that Valentin doesn’t deserve compassion and mercy; he’s a cold-blooded murderer, who kept her granddaughter from her. He might not have deserved the past, but he deserves what he’s getting now. Anna understands, but says her part in the war is over.

Ned tells Tracy to go ahead and tell him that he’s making a mistake, but it won’t change anything. Tracy asks if Olivia-F makes him happy. Ned says she does, and Tracy says she’s happy for him, and congrats.

Hayden explains to Jordan that she kissed Curtis, but he had nothing to do with it. Jordan jokes around, asking if he wants to press charges. Curtis tells Hayden they’ll talk later, and Hayden leaves. Curtis tells Jordan that he was being a friend and got a sneak attack. Jordan says he doesn’t owe her any explanations; they’re not exclusive. Curtis thinks they should change that.

Griff tells Finn that he’s lucky to be alive, and the police need to know about him getting beat up. He adds that Finn isn’t in rehab, and must have gone to the pier to score. Griff accuses him of being high right now.

Ned asks what Tracy has done with his mother, and if she had a spiritual metamorphosis in Turkey. She tells him that she found her father.

Brad talks to Monica about some lab ideas, but the presentation has been postponed. He says as long as it doesn’t affect his raise. Monica says as a matter-of-fact, it does

Finn says the cops will only cause more problems. Griff says the problem he has is fixable, if he has the guts to do it. In the hallway, Griff sees Hayden, and tells her that Finn is there. She goes into Finn’s room, where he’s trying to get out of bed.

Jordan and Curtis kiss. Andre sees them.

Valentin is at the docks, talking to someone on the phone about finding suspicious stuff. Laura comes by. She accosts Valentin, telling him that it’s selfish not doing what’s best for daughter. He says he’s providing loving family, and Charlotte will always choose him and Nina. Laura accuses him of trying to psyche her out, and says nothing is going to work. Wow, if she considers that a psyche out, nobody is trying very hard. She says there’s nothing wrong with her memory, so he can’t prey on her like he did Anna.

Nina goes to Anna’s place. She asks if they didn’t have a conversation where Anna was supposed to stay away from her husband. Anna says they did. Nina attacks her.

Hayden asks Finn what happened. He says it was a rough night. She asks if he used, and Griff says his bloodwork is clean. Finn tells them that he paid for the drugs and changed his mind, but found out the hard way that drug dealers don’t do refunds. Griff asks why he didn’t say something, but Finn didn’t want anyone to know how low he’d gone. He thought about what Hayden said, and that at the end of the road maybe there’s a better life, and someone to share it with.

Curtis sees Andre, and tells Jordan, to be continued. He leaves, and Jordan approaches Andre. It’s awkward. She tells him that she wouldn’t blame him for being angry. He says he knows he can’t make someone feel what they don’t want to, and tells her not to feel badly about what she wants.

Anna gets the better of Nina. Nina says that Anna pushed her there. Anna says she has no quarrel with her, and Nina asks what’s up with the letter. Anna says it’s a declaration of peace, and asks if Valentin even saw it. Nina says showed it to her because they’re honest with each other. Anna just wants to end the feud. Nina tells Anna that after months of harassment, admit she’s after Valentin.

Laura says obviously Anna is confused, thinking she committed some wrong against him. He says they know each other well. Laura says she’ll do whatever it takes to make him pay. She tells him that it’s clear that Charlotte and Nina genuinely love him, so there must be something decent in him and worth loving, but she doesn’t think he believes or trusts it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have to cling to it. She tells him that he’s afraid when they see who he really is, they’ll abandon him. He stutters, and tells her to get away from him. She says with pleasure, but he’ll see her again…soon.

Ned reads Edward’s letter. He asks Tracy why it matters what he thinks if it makes her happy. She wants to know what he thinks is missing. Ned thinks it’s bull. Tracy asks if he thinks Edward was lying, and Ned hopes not, for her sake. Ned says Edward should have told her this his entire life. He expressed his feelings by controlling and manipulating, and held the family hostage. Ned says he saw Edward clearly for what he was, not bad, but not always good either. Tracy says he was complicated. Ned says everything he did was for his own ends, and he doled out affection to whoever paid proper reverence. To stay in his good graces, you had to toe the line, which left Tracy at odds with him or in exile. If she believed he loved her, she wouldn’t need a letter.

Nina says first Anna is after Valentin, and now she wants to be friends. Anna brings up Nina’s past, and says her feelings are understandable, but she’s being needlessly territorial. Anna wants no further conflict. Nina tells her says no more notes, no more anything. She leaves, and Anna laughs to herself.

Valentin meets with guy on the docks. He says he’s found nothing, and gives Valentin the watch. Valentin says that’s reassuring, and messes with the watch some more.

Monica tells Brad that’s the way things are at the moment. She hopes that Hayden will loosen the purse strings soon. Brad wonders what Hayden has to do with it, and Monica says she’s the hospital’s financial advisor. Brad twirls his proverbial mustache.

Finn tells Hayden and Griff that he’ll go to rehab. Griff says there’s an outpatient service in town that’s good, and discreet. Finn says it doesn’t matter. He has to own up to who he is and what he’s done. He’s an addict. He says Monica needs to hear it from him.

Brad asks Monica when Finn is coming back, and she assumes when he finishes his paper. Brad says there’s something she needs to know about Finn. What I’m assuming is that Brad is going to tell her about Finn’s addiction, but I don’t see how this would get him anywhere. Wouldn’t he be better off trying to blackmail Hayden with that information?

Ned isn’t saying that Edward didn’t love Tracy in his own way. Tracy says his way was fine. Ned says she spent her life chasing his love, when she should have been comforted by it and felt it when he was alive. It’s the kind of love she deserved. He says that he’s proud of her, of the person she’s become, and he loves her with all his heart. Tracy tears up and so do I. She cries on his shoulder.

Laura talks to Lulu on the phone, and asks if she wants the good or bad news first. She says the good news is that Valentin isn’t as confident as they think; and the bad news is that they can’t count on help from Anna any more.

Anna’s phone rings. It’s Andre, but she doesn’t answer.

Curtis joins Jordan again. She has to get to work. He says he’ll walk her there, and they’ll talk about the date she owes him.

Andre leaves a message that he could use a friend, and asks Anna to call him back. Anna is on the laptop and puts earbuds in.

Valentin puts the watch on. He smiles. We see Anna messing with the watch, and sewing a device into it. She hears Valentin and Nina talking. I just have to say it. That looked like something I could have easily found. You mean to tell me that Valentin’s guy noticed nothing?

Tomorrow, Andre asks Anna what she’s doing, Nina asks where Valentin got the watch, and Finn talks to Monica.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Sonja calls for chocolate. The doorbell rings. It’s new Wife, Tinsley. Sonja knows her from charities they’ve done together, and she’s going to be Sonja’s houseguest. You might know Tinsley from her arrest in the tabloids. Sonja tells her that she can stay as long as she wants. Tinsley doesn’t know whether she wants to live uptown or downtown.

It’s Halloween, and Bethenny tries on a sexy leopard costume. Carole arrives. Ramona joins them. Bethenny is surprised that Ramona didn’t acknowledge her dogs, and Ramona says Bethenny never sent her an announcement. Aww! They’re wearing pumpkin costumes. In her interview, Ramona thinks now that Bethenny has a boyfriend, she’s been ignoring her. Carole mentions her new kittens.

Carole asks if Ramona went to LuAnn’s bachelorette party, but she wasn’t invited. She tells them how LuAnn accused her of stirring the pot, and playing detective regarding Tom. They agree that LuAnn seems more than happy.

LuAnn has a Mad Hatter party to go to, so she goes with daughter Victoria to a millinery. While they try on hats, she tells Victoria about Sonja being stuck in the past. She thinks Sonja wishes that she was with Tom. We flash back to Sonja talking about her previous relationship with him. I’m thinking who didn’t have a relationship with Tom is probably a shorter list than who did.

Bethenny says that Sonja seems to be doing well. Ramona tells them about Tinsley moving in. She says Tinsley was a major socialite, and Bethenny brings up her stalking the ex-boyfriend. She says that Tinsley had the world at her fingertips, and crashed and burned. Carole is having an election night party, but Ramona says they’ll just argue. Carole wonders how that will be different from any other night. They talk about the Hillary email thing, because we will never, ever be able to get away from any of it for the rest of our natural born lives. And maybe even after that. I go ♫ La-la-la! ♫ Bethenny accuses Carole of being a know-it-all and elitist.

Back at Sonja’s place, Tinsley is excited about being back in New York. She’s anxious about regaining her life there. Sonja asks how she liked the play, and we see a clip of it. In her interview, Tinsley talks about her marriage to Topper Mortimer. I get a picture of Leo G. Carroll in my head. (Google it.) Sonja knows how it is to have everything golden, and then have it fall apart. Tinsley says she still wants kids, and has had her eggs frozen. They talk about criteria for a man, and Tinsley says he needs to have a job. Wow. For a socialite, she doesn’t ask for much. She talks about her relationship with the dude who called the cops on her. She thinks he was acting out because they weren’t going to be together. Tinsley says at least she had her lashes on in the mug shot, although her eyebrows were not on fleek.

Dorinda has invited Ramona to her cryotherapy session. Ramona shows up, but she’s dressed for a date, so she’s not actually partaking. She tells Dorinda about her lunch with LuAnn. She says she decided not to say anything about Tom. She says it’s obvious that LuAnn doesn’t want to know. I do though.

Dorinda talks about Sonja spreading lies about her, but Ramona says Sonja hasn’t said anything to her. In her interview, Dorinda says Sonja shouldn’t be saying anything about anybody, considering her colorful past, and she has to nip this in the bud. Dorinda goes into the freezing chamber or whatever you call it.

Tinsley has missed NYC. Yeah, me too. Worst. Idea. Ever. To. Move. She tells us about the Mortimers being one of the famous historical families there, and how you’re treated differently when you marry into one. She doesn’t have the invitations that she used to, but wants to be prepared, so she’s dress shopping. We see some of the fashion pages she’s been in, and she tries on this amazing formal dress with a delicate botanical pattern on it. She says it was almost the perfect life. She walked away, and she wants it back. Good luck with that after the mug shot thing.

Dorinda’s daughter Hannah is getting her own place, and they go furniture shopping. It takes three months for a couch delivery? Hannah says things are born, live, and die in that amount of time. Really. In her interview, Dorinda is glad Hannah is moving out before it turned into an Edie Beale situation. She’d be eating out of a tuna fish can, and Hannah would be wandering around in a ballerina outfit. Omg, that’s too funny.

Bethenny says that clutter is the devil incarnate. I tend to agree, although I’ve yet to conquer it. She sends a lot to Dress for Success. She talks to her assistant about her boyfriend, Dennis. She says it’s been difficult with the suckerfish Jason Hoppy stuff going on (I refuse to put his name in bold), and she’d like to be more engaged in her new relationship. She thought all that would be over by now. Like any normal person would think.

Sonja is getting ready for her Mad Hatter party. The dress code is, wear color. She tells us that’s how you set the tone for a party. She wants everything to be perfect, because she knows how the girls can be in picking at someone. She says that they want you to be successful, but not more successful than they are. Tinsley shows up wearing black. So much for the party’s tone.

Commercial break with horrifying information. The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion will be in four parts. Here’s hoping that Porsha loses her sh*t again.

Ramona is also wearing black. She asks why Sonja didn’t invite Dorinda, and Sonja makes some vague comments about why should she? In her interview, she tells us it’s all about the Berkshires. Carole arrives, wearing black and white.

Bethenny is on her way. Wearing colors! But the friend she’s bringing is in black. What is wrong with these people? Ramona chatters away to Carole about not wanting to invite Sonja to her house because of her altercation with Dorinda. She was hoping they’d make up today. Inside, Tinsley instructs Sonja on applying lashes. Ramona is wearing a scarf (also black), and moves on to saying how much she likes hickeys. Bleh. Thanks for the visual. Carole talks about how informed she is about politics, and won’t hear that Ramona might also be informed. I might not think so in Ramona’s case either, but I have the feeling that’s how Carole feels about everyone else in the world.

Bethenny says she looks like a piñata at somebody’s funeral. HA-HA! Even Sonja is wearing a floral-patterned dress with a black background. Tinsley says she’s trying to be open to the new people she’s meeting, but she doesn’t get a friendly vibe from Bethenny. Has she seen the show? I’ll bet they watch it in jail. LuAnn is wearing color and a hat. She and Bethenny say hello, but the conversation is stilted.

Ramona asks if Tinsley is seeing anyone, and she says no, but it would be nice to be married again. They didn’t have children, only Chihuahuas, and Ramona asks if she regrets it. Tinsley says she’d still like to have them, and tells Ramona about the arrest. She feels the need to bring it up early on, before someone hears about it elsewhere. Ramona says she’s got balls.

LuAnn and Sonja sit inside to talk. LuAnn says she’s been reading negative things in the paper about herself that have come from Sonja. Apparently, she’s been saying that even if the marriage turns out to be a bust, she’ll be there for LuAnn. Somehow, Sonja turns the tables to talking about Ramona, and how she’s turning Dorinda against her. In her interview, LuAnn says Sonja is coming off like she’s jealous. LuAnn tells her to quit dwelling on the past. In her interview, Sonja says LuAnn only hears what she wants to hear. LuAnn tells Sonja that she’s happy, so back off.

Ramona says any relationship that ends, isn’t easy. Bethenny says she’s familiar with that. Yep. Bethenny asks about Dorinda. She thinks Sonja needs to drop the Berkshires, Tom and the townhouse. She tells Ramona that the invite said to wear the colors of Wonderland, and Ramona looks like she’s going to a funeral. A dressy funeral. NYC is the capital of black clothing, but since I always had pets, I rarely wore black. Mostly grey, so the car fur would just blend in. Oddly enough, I’m not a huge fan of black.

Tinsley says she falls in love easily and makes her men into projects. She tells them about the list Sonja is making for her. In her interview, Carole says Sonja isn’t the person she’d go to for man advice. Tinsley loved meeting Ramona and Carole, but feels Bethenny wasn’t receptive.

Sonja and Bethenny discuss what designer LuAnn is wearing. Sonja tells Bethenny that it’s Ralph Lauren, and Bethenny says she thought it was Laura Ashley. Sonja’s borrowed butler suggests Salvation Army, and Bethenny nearly chokes on her sandwich. She wants a bitchy borrowed butler, so they can talk about the gaucheness of things.

Next time, Sonja talks about LuAnn and Dorinda, Tinsley feels weird, and Ramona confronts Bethenny.

👠 I totally forgot to watch Feud: Bette and Joan on Sunday, so caught up with it On Demand today. This miniseries hasn’t ceased to impress me, and I wish it would never end. This week, the stars are about to film Hush…Hush, Sweet Charlotte, originally titled Whatever Happened to Cousin Charlotte? because the studio wanted to keep milking Baby Jane. The episode was entitled Hagsploitation, which was apparently a thing in the early 1960s. Charlotte was also one of my favorite movies growing up; I was forever trying to catch it on TV. I remember my parents going to see it in the theater, and I was annoyed because they thought I was too young to go. Even at a tender age, I liked weird, scary stuff. Even better, John Waters guest starred as William Castle, who directed Joan Crawford in Straight Jacket, the two of them making the rounds of movie theaters to promote the film. Eventually, Joan was replaced in Charlotte by Olivia de Havilland, but we’re not at that point yet.


April 5, 2017 – Anna Remembers & the NYC Wives are Back


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Anna tells Valentin that she remembers everything.

Scotty asks Ava what the crisis du jour is. She tells him that she got the pills from Lucy, but just after the transaction, the thieves snatched the pills. The PCPD has them, and today is the first day of the end of her life.

Lulu chases down Dante at the station. She reminds him that it’s the first supervised visit with Charlotte today. She tells him that she made a new friend – Nelle.

Sonny sees Nelle at Perks, and tells her she should be more careful.

Josslyn tells Michael that Jax is in town.

Carly tells Jax that Nelle got it in her head that she gave Frank money for a kidney. Jax says he’s the one that did.

Ava tells Scotty that just when she made the deal with Lucy, the masked morons came in, demanding everything. Scotty tells her don’t claim the pills. Ava says she’s not an idiot, but they’re going to wonder why Morgan’s pills are showing up after his death. Ava thinks they should steal the pills back.

Lulu tells Dante that she told Nelle about Valentin keeping Charlotte from her. She was just telling the truth, and Nelle was listening. She brings up Nelle asking about Michael. Dante tells her to hold off on her hustle. Using Nelle could blow up in her face.

Anna asks Valentin for a drink. She says they have vastly different memories, and Robert pulled some strings. She met with an expert on memory loss, and she’s been suppressing some things. She’s beginning to remember. She says he’s right. She manipulated him out of classified information that she sold to the DVX. She says she learned that she was a victim too.

Michael tells Josslyn he’s always here for her. She thinks Jax is staying for a while, and that Carly is getting a divorce. Michael says whatever happens is up to Carly and Sonny, but Josslyn says it’s really Carly’s decision. She says that Sonny isn’t responsible for Morgan’s death, but he is responsible for sleeping with Nelle. She says Nelle was Michael’s friend, as well as hers.

Nelle tells Sonny they’re out of each other’s lives. He says she must have made one hell of a sales pitch. She says she doesn’t think she would have gotten the job without Bobbie. He says she did what she came for. She says he and Carly do what they want, and don’t care about anyone else. He says she’s talking about herself, and she says she learned from the master – his wife. Or is it ex-wife now?

Jax tells Carly that when he realized they couldn’t find a legitimate donor, he called Frank and offered him a million dollars. He says he had no idea that Frank would sacrifice his own daughter’s kidney. Carly says this explains why Jax wanted her to drop the search. He says he didn’t know Nelle was Frank’s daughter, but Carly says it doesn’t matter, and asks why he didn’t tell her.

Scotty tells Ava that he won’t do it; he’s out. Ava says he’s in. She doesn’t think Sonny will appreciate what he’s done up until now. Who knows what she might blurt out when Sonny scares her? She says he probably won’t kill Scotty, but Scotty will likely spend time in jail. If he doesn’t come through for her, she doesn’t see a bright future for him.

Lulu promises Dante that she’ll focus on the visit, and getting to know Charlotte. Even if she finds a use for Nelle, she’s going to need more than that.

Michael tells Josslyn that he was hoping Carly and Sonny would last this time. He tells her neither one is perfect. Josslyn says Carly would never cheat. He says Sonny lost their only biological child. He thought he killed his own son, and they can’t imagine how he felt. Michael says it’s not so black and white to him. Josslyn says that’s how she feels about Nelle.

Sonny tells Nelle that what she did to Michael and Josslyn was the worst. She says she’s genuinely sorry about it, but he says she doesn’t think about anyone but herself. She says she’s the only victim, and he says she sounds like she’s proud of it.

Jax tells Carly that he didn’t know Nelle was Frank’s daughter, so he thought he’d let it go. Carly says he should have told her from the start. He says she would have stopped him, and he had to save their daughter. Nothing else mattered, and the thought didn’t cross his mind that he’d hurt Carly. He says his sins are coming back to haunt him. He asks if she can ever forgive him. He says it doesn’t seem real. Carly says it was wrong for a whole bunch of reasons. Jax says Nelle was able to hurt Josslyn.

Michael tells Josslyn that Nelle can’t get out of her own way, and is someone she shouldn’t be around. Josslyn says a part of her still likes Nelle, and she thinks Michael does too.

Nelle tells Sonny that Carly took what she needed and never looked back. It didn’t matter whether she lived or died, but he turns a blind eye to her selfishness – or admires it. She says they deserve each other, and can suffer side by side. He says the one who’s going to suffer the most is her.

Anna tells Valentin that she was forced by Faison to hand over the secrets. Valentin asks what Faison has to do with it. She says they were in an antagonistic relationship for years, and Valentin adds that Faison was obsessed with her. Anna says it was part of his plan to compromise her; reveal her as a traitor, and she’d have no one else to turn to. Valentin isn’t buying it. He says she can pretend it never happened, and asks why she’s there. She says she remembers. Valentin asks to tell him something personal then. He wants the truth, and to know she’s not making it up.

An officer is tagging the evidence. Scotty acts like it’s old home week and he’s looking for Dante. The officer says he’ll be back, and Scotty goes into the evidence room like he belongs there.

Lulu shows up at Ava’s place. Ava says it’s unexpected. Lulu says she was hoping Ava could help her with something that concerns Nicholas. She tells Ava about the hearing, and says she can’t let Valentin keep her daughter. Ava agrees. Lulu asks if there’s anything Ava can tell her, something they’ve overlooked that could help her against Valentin. Ava says everything she knows is in her statements. She warns Lulu that Valentin is more than willing to kill anyone who crosses him.

Anna talks about being caught in a downpour going to a drop sight. She saw Valentin, and asked what he was doing. He pointed out a statue of the patron saint of prisoners, and they ended up holding hands. He says she took his hand. She looked into his eyes, and they were sad, so she took him to the hotel across the square and asked if he wanted to stay the night. She says they were together. Valentin asks what he said after – that he’d been with women before, but always paid for them, and it was the first time he’d made love.

Carly hates that she let someone hurt her family, and Jax says that Nelle did. Carly says she blames him too. Hopefully, Nelle got her revenge, and they can move on. She doesn’t know how she feels toward Jax. She understands that he did what he did because he loves Josslyn, but he left them wide open for a load of damage.

Valentin tells Anna that he was monstrous, and no woman wanted to sleep with him. Anna says she did, but he says he paid dearly. She says she was supposed to have him killed. He found the note the next morning with her orders. Valentin thought he could throw himself on his superior’s mercy, but he knew they’d never take his word over hers. She said she left the note on purpose, so he could get away. She was relieved when he was gone, because she didn’t have to follow through. She asks if he thinks she couldn’t have finished the job. She asks why she stalled. Valentin says he doesn’t know why she does anything, and is beyond caring. She says she liked him; she appreciated his brilliance and kind heart. She let him go because she knew he’d get away from her and whoever the WSB sent. She couldn’t follow up on that kind of betrayal.

Ava tells Lulu that Valentin took something important from her when he took Nicholas. She says that Lulu has to find Valentin’s Achilles heel before he finds hers. I would think for both of them, it’s Charlotte.

Dante finds Scotty in the evidence room. Scotty says that Dante almost gave him a heart attack, and Dante says he’ll try harder next time. Scotty claims he’s there for a client. Dante says their perp isn’t his client, but Scotty says he is. Dante takes him out, and the guy sitting there says he has public defender, and it’s not Scotty. Scotty says it must be a mistake. Dante’s phone rings. He says the public defender got held up in court. Scotty is all, exit stage left.

Michael tells Josslyn that he doesn’t really want to talk about Carly. He says they should admit they need each other. Josslyn says he always takes care of everyone, and who takes care of him? He says she does. He stupidly leaves his phone on the table.

Carly thanks Jax for the truth. He apologizes for it not being sooner, but she says there’s probably nothing they could have done. She talks about Sonny’s ultimatum, and says she doesn’t do well with those. Jax leaves.

Nelle tells Sonny that she’s building a new life, and he can’t scare her. He says he’s happy for the both of them. He doesn’t have to deal with her or get his hands dirty. He says Valentin won’t give a damn that she’s a kid. She says Valentin has been nothing but kind. Sonny says that if she pulls something, he’ll get rid of her and not care about her story, and that works for him.

Ava asks if Scotty got the pills. He says no, but he didn’t see them in the evidence room. He’s almost 100% sure. Ava says that’s not possible. Scotty says sometimes evidence goes missing; sometimes things like jewelry watches, and prescription meds just disappear. He says today is her lucky day.

Not quite. In the evidence room, Dante takes out the bag with the pills.

Valentin says if Anna let him go, it was out of pity. She asks him to remember the way it happened, and he’ll know. That night meant something to her the way it did to him. She takes his hand. No-no-no-no-no-no-no. Just no.

Michael gets his phone back. What was the purpose of this business? He calls Carly, and tells her he dropped Josslyn off at the end of the driveway, because she didn’t want to disturb anybody. He says he heard about Jax, and hopes she isn’t getting hopes up. Sonny walks into Kelly’s, and he’s like, what? Michael says he thinks Jax is staying with Carly.

Carly tells Josslyn she was worried. Josslyn says she had lunch with Michael and didn’t want to bother her and Jax.

Jax sees Nelle, and tells her that she’s wrong about Carly.

Tomorrow, Sonny grills Michael, Lulu isn’t okay, and Carly tells Bobbie that it was Jax.

The Real Housewives of NYC

So glad to see the ladies from my old stomping grounds back on the air. This season, Tinsley Mortimer joins the group. She was arrested for stalking an ex-boyfriend, so she should fit right in.

Sonja puts some plastic fruit in the dishwasher. Dorinda spends four dollars on two waters, and asks if the profit is four dollars. Fredrik Eklund visits Bethenny. She has her Tribeca apartment back, and thinks he might be able to sell it. No surprise, they disagree about the price. Fredrik does his victory dance in advance.

Dorinda meets Luann at the park. We can’t call her The Countess anymore. They discuss Luann’s upcoming wedding. In her interview, Luann tells us that her compatibility with Tom is magic. Only Dorinda is invited to the wedding, since she wants to avoid drama. We flash back to one of my favorite moments. Please don’t let it be about Tom; it’s about Tom. Luann complains to Dorinda about the other women. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s hard to get past the group being fractured, and we flash back to some nasty reunion moments. She hopes they can get past it as a group, but she’s not sure about Sonja. She’s been attacking Dorinda behind her back. Dorinda says it’s not going to end well.

Sonja is rehearsing Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man, a book that’s been made into a play. The director gives her some acting tips. It’s her final performance. Dorinda and Luann haven’t seen it, and Dorinda wonders if Sonja is trying to be relevant. Sonja’s also been chatting with an ex-girlfriend of Tom’s.

Ramona is redecorating and updating her apartment, and meets with the contractor. She has no plan, and says her place reflects that, which doesn’t exactly sound positive, but she’s not known for her turn of phrase. Except maybe “turtle time.” She asks the contractor if he has any single friends, and he actually has someone in mind. She tells him to pass along her number. He’s better than an app.

Bethenny and Fredrik go to the Tribeca apartment. Bethenny says when she first saw it, it was in bad shape. We revisit her crying over it. She says it seemed like a flophouse, making me wonder if this is the same woman who could barely pay her rent when this show started, since flophouse is a huge exaggeration. The apartment has been staged for showings, and Bethenny is thrilled. Fredrik is still trying to talk her into a lesser price, but she won’t budge, especially since there’s a private parking spot. In NYC, that alone is worth millions. Fredrik says it would be a record for the area, and she says she’s broken records before.

Carole and Adam are still together. Dorinda comes by for a visit. They have two new kittens! They’re seeing who gets along with Baby Carole’s dog. Carole says she feels like she’s living in a petting zoo. With three pets? That’s hardly a menagerie. Carole says that she and Adam are shacking up, because she thinks living together sounds too serious. Dorinda thinks Carole is in denial about the seriousness of her relationship. She says they’ve had a similar life in a lot of ways. Carole says she’s never been called a mean girl before, and Dorinda apologizes. Dorinda says she was nervous about coming over, and feels badly about them getting off track.

Dorinda tells Carole that she’s skipping the bachelorette stuff for Luann. She says John dancing around drunk would be more entertaining. I’m not so sure about that. Even if you’re not into male strippers, I’m sure the food will be phenomenal.

Bethenny visits Sonja, who has a cute dog and a new intern. Bethenny is picking up a donation for Dress for Success. Sonja shows her around, and Bethenny asks about Sonja’s daughter, who’s in boarding school. Sonja wants to sell the house, but she has attachments. They discuss Sonja’s play. She says she didn’t invite Luann, since she’s Tom absorbed. Bethenny thinks she should send Luann a fruit basket for taking out the trash. Sonja says she’s invited to the wedding but she’s going to be elsewhere. Bethenny says ditto. Hmm… I thought Luann said they weren’t invited?

Luann is at Tom’s amazing penthouse, and calls her wedding planner. She says her first wedding was in a courthouse wearing jeans, so she’s going all out this time. She’s carried the Countess torch for a long time, and is ready to put it down.

Sonja has tons of stuff for Bethenny. She gives Bethenny the stories behind her dresses. In her interview, she says it’s hard for her to give away clothes. Instead of being cleansing, it’s more like an enema. The purple dress is from when she dated Prince Albert of Monaco.

Bethenny explains how she ended up with two new puppies. Cookie is getting on in years, and Brynn has been asking for a puppy, but she couldn’t choose. She gets an email from Frederik with an all cash, full asking price offer on the apartment. That was quick. He tells her to call the bank and tell them to make room in the vault. She says slowly but surely, the pieces of her life are coming back together. The apartment has been a money-pit for the last four years. More like Jason Hippity Hoppy has been a money-pit.

Dorinda comes for a lunch date with Ramona, and has to wait for her to get back from her real date lunch date. They’re having lunch at Ramona’s apartment. She tells Dorinda that she’s starting to warm up to John. We flash back to sleazy, sweaty John, and Dorinda says there’s hope. Ramona says she’s seeing Luann tomorrow, and wonders why she wasn’t invited to the shower, since she’s always been the peacemaker. She thought they’d gotten past some things, and her feelings are hurt. Dorinda says she thinks Luann feels like Ramona conspired with Bethenny. She thinks Ramona should talk to her about it, but not be aggressive. Ramona says Luann is wondering what she knows about Tom, and she does know something. She doesn’t think Luann really wants to know though. She tells Dorinda about Luann hitting on a much younger guy, and finding out from the guy’s mother. She thinks Luann is going to get hurt, but Dorinda doesn’t want to hear about it.

Carole visits Bethenny. The puppies are super cute. Their names are Biggy and Smallz. Bethenny tells Carole about selling the apartment. Carole says she’s never seen the apartment, and Bethenny says she never will. They discuss the election, and Bethenny says that’s all Carole talks about 24/7. Bethenny says she’s in a vortex like a cat lady.

Luann meets Ramona for lunch. In her interview, she says Ramona has been calling Tom’s old girlfriends. She thinks Ramona should get a life, and stop concentrating on hers. They make small talk. Luann talks about the bridal shower, and Ramona asks why she wasn’t invited. Luann says she’s heard through friends that Ramona has been playing Nancy Drew, and being negative about her and Tom’s relationship. Ramona says people come to her, and asks if Luann wants to know. Luann says she doesn’t know what Ramona is talking about. Ramona starts talking, and Luann interrupts, asking if she’s talking about Tom meeting with an ex-girlfriend in California. She is, but says that the ex said they’d been making out and could have done more. Luann isn’t believing it, and says she isn’t listening to the fodder anymore. Ramona says she should be honest with herself, and she should tell Tom to reel it in, since the town is smaller than he realizes.

Ramona toasts to their marriage, and hopes Luann doesn’t fall on her face. Luann is like, thanks a lot, and Ramona says she doesn’t want Luann to get hurt. She says she wishes Luann every happiness, and Luann tells her to quit playing detective. In her interview, Luann says there’s a heart of gold in Ramona, you just have to dig for it. She tells Ramona that it’s going to be a special year.

Next time, Tinsley is introduced, Dorinda accuses Sonja of spreading lies, and Sonja confronts Luann about Tom.




September 14, 2016 – GH’s Hayden Gets Caught, LA’s Christy Gets Evidence, NYC Wives Get to the End & AHS Begins


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis and Diane show up early for court. Alexis says Molly helped grill her, but she’s used to asking the questions, not answering them. She can’t believe the day is finally here and it’s going to be the beginning of the end for Julian, She says it’s divine justice that her testimony will be the one to put him away.

Julian is shaving, although I’m questioning why anyone would be giving a prisoner a razor blade. He says it’s his last day there and asks if the guard will miss him.

Carly tells Sonny once Julian is put away, they’ll get their lives back. Fat chance of that, since you’re characters on a soap opera.

Elizabeth says Hayden had no right to the diamonds. Hayden says Elizabeth had no right to her blood either, but she gave it to her. Franco tells them again that they’re sisters and he can prove it. Elizabeth asks if he’s just being his usual wildly inappropriate self, but he says he didn’t want them to find out this way. He tells them that they have the same father and explains that Jeff Webber had an affair with Hayden’s mother while he was married, and their gift to the world is Hayden.

Finn tells Tracy he was a suspect and ended up in jail, so the board is unlikely to listen to him.

Monica is on the phone in the half-dark of her office. She tells Epiphany she’s busy and doesn’t want any interruptions. Paul grabs Monica from behind and injects her. He tells her she got what she deserved. As he’s leaving, he runs into Sabrrrina, and I die laughing at the look on his face. Sabrrrina wants to talk to Monica and like an idiot Paul just lurks around while she goes into the office. Sabrrrina finds Monica on the floor.

Carly asks Sonny how the jury could do anything but send Julian to prison for the rest of his life. Sonny says a lot can still go wrong. He says Ava should have gone to prison for killing Connie and the confession disappeared. Carly insists Julian is going away for good and maybe they can go on their long-delayed honeymoon. She says she needs to help at the hotel since Leo is sick, and Sonny says that another good thing about Julian being locked up for life is that Leo will never know what a creep his father is.

Tracy tells Finn the suspension was lifted and the board will listen. He says maybe they’re tired of hearing him defended and maybe tired of him altogether. She says she personally needs his support. He tells her she should have presented it that way to begin with, and he’ll support her in anything. On the way out, they run into Michael, who asks about the hospital closing. Tracy says not if she and Finn have anything to say about it. She tells him the silly look of love on his face is annoying and she wants to know what his intentions are with Sabrrrina.

Diane has Alexis do deep breathing exercises in the witness box. She says once Alexis is done with her testimony, she’ll never have to see Julian again. Alexis says the thought of being married to him sickens her. Diane asks if she can handle condemning him in front of a jury.

Julian looks for his tie. Sonny comes in – using his own key – and asks if this is the tie he’s looking for, twisting it in his hands.

Hayden tells Franco that’s a lie. Her father is Raymond Berlin and he might not be perfect, but she loves him and he loves her. She says her mother even told her she looks like him. Franco says maybe she was compensating. Elizabeth says her father could do no wrong, and her parents marriage was perfect in every way, and she wants to know where he got this information. He says from Heather, and while she is a lunatic who shouldn’t be taken at face value, Naomi confirmed it.

Finn asks if Tracy shouldn’t be clutching some pearls while she questions Michael. Tracy says if Michael isn’t making a commitment, she needs to know. She doesn’t want Sabrrrina wasting her time. Michael says he’s meeting Sabrrrina later and having a serious conversation with her. He shows them a ring and says he’s asking her to be his wife. Carly overhears and says, hell no.

Paul appears Monica’s office doorway. Sabrrrina asks what happened and Paul acts like he was on his way to get help. Just not very quickly.

Diane tells Alexis she needs to bring her A-game. She asks what if Julian stands up and declares his love again. Alexis says she’ll vomit and Diane says, no she won’t. She’ll act indifferent. Diane says if he’d had his way, Alexis would be cold in the ground, and her daughters would have no mother. She says Alexis can’t get emotional or she’ll come off as the wronged woman. Diane tells her that Paul will be very dramatic and showboat. She goes over what Paul might say.

Julian calls for the guard, but Sonny says he’s on break, giving them private time. He says a while back, he offered Julian a deal and he needs an answer. Is he pleading guilty or going to have a fatal accident his first week in prison? Julian says nothing has changed and he’s taking his chances with the trial. He says Sonny is only worried about him getting acquitted. Sonny says he’s worried about Kristina’s mother and doesn’t want her put through reliving everything.

Alexis says she knows Julian’s moves and she’s ready. She tells Diane about how she even asked Julian to speak to the bar and he refused. He wouldn’t lift a finger to help her. She says Julian is a narcissist and she’s sending him to prison. Diane tells her to hang onto that thought.

Hayden asks in what world Franco knows her mother. Franco tells her about Naomi visiting Heather the same day he did, and finding out that Heather was blackmailing her. Hayden wonders if her father knows. She puts two and two together about how Naomi has been acting about Elizabeth, wanting Hayden to be nice to her. Hayden says she saved her sister’s life, and her sister repaid her by destroying hers.

Sabrrrina does CPR on Monica. Monica starts to breathe and Sabrrrina calls for help.

Tracy says if Carly doesn’t think Sabrrrina is good enough for her son, they should take a trip down Memory Lane, because Carly hasn’t always been perfect. Finn tells Tracy that they should get back to the hospital. They leave. Carly tells Michael they need the kind of love that transforms you and sustains you, and she doesn’t think they feel that way about each other. Nice of her to define love for someone else.

The doctor finds an injection site on Monica’s neck and tells Sabrrrina to get the police. In the hallway, Paul gives instructions about the trial to someone on the phone. Sabrrrina interrupts him and tells him about the injection mark. He says he’ll call the police, and she realizes he never got help. Paul goes humana-humana and makes me laugh. He says he’ll call the commissioner. He reaches into his pocket and Sabrrrina makes a soap opera face looking at his hand. I actually like Paul a lot and hope that somehow they keep him on as a character. Or we could always find out he has a brother, like Carrrlos suddenly did.

Franco says maybe Elizabeth doesn’t seem super grateful, but she didn’t ruin Hayden’s life. Hayden is like, oh yeah? and tells him what happened with the diamonds. Elizabeth says she wasn’t going to let Hayden get away with pushing her down the stairs. Franco tells her about the picture and how it was a man who did it. Elizabeth says if she’d known, she’d have done it differently. She asks for a phone. The phone rings its Nathan. Nathan tells her something we don’t hear. She tells Franco that Nathan has the diamonds, Sabrrrina told them everything, and she’s sorry. Hayden says she is too; she’s sorry she ever wasted her time or a drop of her blood saving Elizabeth’s miserable life.

Diane says the cooler Alexis stays, the more rattled the defense becomes. Alexis says she’s ready for anything Paul does, and she’s not going to let Julian or Scotty get to her. Diane has to leave and tells her good luck.

Sonny tells Julian about Alexis getting her license suspended. Julian pretends to be concerned. Sonny says if he wants to do something for her, plead guilty, and goes over all the despicable things Julian has done. He says do the right thing for once, own up to what he did and take the consequences. Sonny leaves, locking the cell behind him. He passes Scotty.

Scotty asks why sonny was there. Julian says he wants to plead guilty. Oh wow.

Michael asks what gives Carly the right to decide Sabrrrina doesn’t love him? Carly says she passed the baby off as his and has proved it over and over. Michael is like, and you’ve never done anything like that? She says what has Sabrrrina ever done for him.

Sabrrrina starts babbling and backing away from Paul. He grabs her and covers her mouth.

Scotty has a mini freak out. Julian says it’s not like he’s going to be acquitted anyway. Scotty says he’d be lying if he said the odds were in Julian’s favor because of the recording, but the only way to fight is to discredit Alexis. He tells Scotty to go make a deal, shocking all of us.

Sonny asks Alexis if she’s okay. He says he’s not judging, just the opposite. He tells her he did her a favor, but not to get her hopes up.

Scotty is given an envelope that was just delivered. He takes something out and says, wait till they get a load of this.

The doctor works on Monica. Tracy asks what happened and the doctor tells her about the injection mark.

Finn runs into Hayden, who tells him about the diamonds. He says he’s sorry and it’s bad news, but not the end of the world. She says she committed a federal crime. She has to get out of there and isn’t even stopping to pack.

Franco takes the phone away from Elizabeth, who says this could all be a lie since no one is credible. She says Hayden is a stranger and a liar and a thief, but she saved her life. She’s pretty upset about thinking Hayden tried to kill her. She wonders who the man in the picture is, and why he’d want to kill her.

Paul drags Sabrrrina into Monica’s office. She’s screaming and crying and struggling and he’s freaking out, saying sorry he can’t spare her.

Carly tells Michael that he’s too compassionate for his own good. Sabrrrina has been hurt and he’s trying to make up for it. He tells Carly it’s more than that, but if she can’t accept it, too bad. She asks him to just give it some time and think about it. She says she wants to support him, but give the family time to trust Sabrrrina again.

Sabrrrina tries to get to her phone, but Paul tosses it aside. These two are really good in this scene, very realistic reactions.

Carly tells Michael that he and Sabrrrina have the rest of their lives together. Michael says they love each other and he doesn’t give a damn if she doesn’t believe it. He’s going to ask Sabrrrina to marry him.

Sabrrina lies unconscious. Her phone rings. It’s Michael texting that he has a surprise for her.

Tracy talks to an unconscious Monica, telling her that she can’t do it without her.

Hayden says she has to go as soon as possible. Finn tells her she can’t run that far and that there’s always another way out. If she stays, he’ll be with her every step of the way. He tells her to come with him and they’ll make a plan. Roxie likes her, so she can stay with him as long as she likes.

Oh crap. Too late. The Feds come out of the elevator and arrest her.

Franco tells Elizabeth to focus on recovery. She says she has to figure out how to fix it with Hayden, and the only reason she gave over the diamonds was because she thought Hayden tried to kill her. Franco says deep down Hayden knows that too, and he’d never forgive himself if what he told Elizabeth interfered with her recovery. Elizabeth says he’s been there for her and they hold hands.

Alexis gets ready to testify, while Scotty tells Julian that he has his ticket to freedom. He has a has a better deal for Julian in the envelope.

Tomorrow, Alexis thinks Sonny tried to get Julian to make a noble gesture and it was a futile effort, Paul comes to court late saying he had an emergency, and the doctor continues to work on Monica.

Little Women: LA

Christy and family are bowling. Todd and Christy’s mother have been on a league, but Christy bowls about as well as I do. Which isn’t very good. I think my high score is 90. They talk about the Murder Mystery Party. Todd and Christy whine about how the girls blamed her for Briana being served a summons at Kerwin’s party, and flash back to that. Christy insists she had nothing to do with it. Todd makes some excuse about Julie figuring it out herself because she knew Christy’s schedule. Todd brings up the girls suggesting that Christy is popping pills. Christy says something about Matt hitting on a transgender woman, and thinks she should bring her to meet the girls. Her mom thinks that’s a fine idea, but Todd isn’t so sure.

Jason meets Terra for a dance class. In her interview, she talks about trying to get in dancing shape before her gig on Dancing with the Stars. Joe isn’t thrilled with it happening only three weeks after her c-section. After class, Terra talks to Jason. She tells him what’s been happening with the girls and about her DWTS gig. She says she hasn’t told the girls yet. Jason is thrilled for her.

Christy thinks Jasmine is fake because one minute she’s nice and the next she’s a bitch like Terra. She wants to find out if Jasmine is on her side, so they meet for lunch. Jasmine asks how Christy’s father is, but he’s not doing well. Jasmine apologizes for being harsh. She says she’s been frustrated with Christy, because Briana has been through so much. She says Christy spilled the beans about the transgender thing and then had a hand in Briana being served. Jasmine asks how she knew it was going to happen, and Christy says Julie told her that Briana was in trouble. In her interview, Jasmine wonders how they can forgive Christy for something she won’t admit to. Jasmine tells Christy that she doesn’t understand her actions, and Christy says she’s not the bad guy, Matt is.

It’s 102 degrees, and Terra wants to live in the pool. Joe joins her, saying it was fitting that Christy was the murderer at the party. Terra says she’s the only link to Julie and wonders if a one on one with Julie would help. She says she has a good relationship with her, even though she didn’t want to have the same publicist as Briana. She wants to get to the bottom of this and Joe wants to get to the bottom of her bikini. Ha-ha! Joe cracks me up.

Baby Maverick comes home after spending two weeks in the ICU. Briana explains that because of her type of dwarfism, she has no sense of smell, so it’s both a hindrance and a blessing when it comes to dirty diapers. Matt says he never wants to go backwards again and tells Briana how beautiful she looks.

Terra meets with Julie, and Julie asks what she wants to talk about. Terra says Briana was served papers at a party. Julie explains how Briana stranded her in Las Vegas not showing up for an appearance, and how later Matt called and said they were unhappy with the contract. Terra says this version is very different from Briana’s and Julie thinks Matt is the problem. Julie says that she had no address for Briana after she moved and she hired an investigator to hunt her down. She says Christy called after the party wondering why Briana was served, but Julie said she doesn’t discuss other clients. In her interview, Terra says that Christy claimed she hadn’t known the papers were served at the party, yet obviously she did. Julie says that Christy wasn’t involved, but Terra feels like a piece of the story is still missing. Yes, I’m aware of how stupid this all sounds.

The girls, minus Christy and Briana, take an archery class. Terra says they need to take their frustration out on something. Jasmine looks really cool. She has feathers in her hair that match her orange tank top. These girls always have some interesting fashion choices going on. They have a little tournament after the learn some skills.

Afterwards, they sit and chat. Tonya says her activewear line is coming out this week. She’s having a photo shoot and would like them to model. Terra balks at modeling while she so pregnant. We flash back to the whole altercation between Tonya and Terra about the line. Terra says she wants to invite Christy. Jasmine talks about meeting with her and how her dad has cancer. Tonya says she thought he’d just had a cancer scare. Jasmine says that Christy told her that her father is dying. Terra thinks she’s deflecting. In her interview, Terra says her own father died from cancer and hopes Christy’s father recovers, but she doesn’t think that’s the reason Christy is acting this way. Jasmine thinks they should be supportive. Terra tells them about the meeting with Julie and how she caught a slip up. Elena thinks Christy isn’t a bad person and is just trying to fix her friendship with Briana, but continues to shoot herself in the foot. Tonya says Christy is crazy, but harmless, and the girls need to accept her for who she is. She tells the girls that until Christy fixes whatever her problem is, it’s going to continue to cycle back around, and them jumping into it isn’t helping.

Preston takes Elena for a gondola ride. They’re having a date night. Elena talks about how she worries about the babies constantly. She says she feels like she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she must be doing something right. She tells Preston about the archery tournament and how they had fun with no fighting. She talks about how she has a different perspective about what’s going on with Christy. Preston asks if she could talk to Christy, but Elena thinks it might be pointless. She says Christy not seeing there’s a problem is part of the problem.

Plastic (yes, that’s her name), a transgender friend of Briana’s and Christy’s, confided in Christy that Matt was sexting her. Plastic and Christy go for a manicure. Plastic says it’s been uncomfortable. She got a private message from Matt after she and Briana posted a picture on Instagram. At first she thought he was legit friendly, but then he started talking about how Briana isn’t adventurous and he wanted to meet with Plastic before her surgery because it would turn him on more. He claimed to have a tranny fetish and a dwarf fetish. He sent her a d*ck pic and that was the end of it. Plastic thinks he’s objectifying the both of them.

The girls meet for Tonya’s photo shoot. She hopes it goes better than the fitness video. She wanted two average sized people, but one couldn’t make it, so her daughter will be the only one. She says she wanted all kinds of people, little and average, pregnant, fit, and Christy. She asks Elena if she’ll work as director. Elena tells her she should have had someone there to do makeup. Terra asks where the logo is and gloats when she finds out Tonya changed it. In her interview, Terra says she thought the logo was the problem, but then Christy showed up.

The girls actually look pretty cute. Everyone is enjoying the shoot, and then Plastic shows up. Tonya is annoyed. She didn’t want any extra people because she needs the models to focus. Christy introduces Plastic and then reminds everyone about when she told them Matt chatted up a transgender. Tonya says love you, but whatever Matt does is his business and it’s irrelevant. Plastic says she’s there because the ladies have been getting on Christy’s case. She says Matt wrote to her that he has a transgender fetish and Tonya says he has a fetish for everyone. Tonya says they don’t need to prove this, and Plastic needs to go.

I know I’m the one who decided to invest in this show, but sometimes I just shake my head. If someone showed up at my photo shoot uninvited when I was on the clock, we wouldn’t even have been discussing it this far. They would have been an in and out item. No pun intended.

Plastic is offended and Tonya says she wasn’t invited. She tells Christy that Plastic has to go and they don’t give a flying about Marr. In her interview, Elena says she gets what Christy is trying to prove, but why here? Plastic calls Tonya transophobic. I guess Plastic doesn’t understand about paying for studio time. Terra can’t believe she said that. Tonya says she has no problem with transgenders, but she has a problem with someone taking up her shoot time. She and Plastic trade insults. Christy is clueless as to why Tonya would be angry about this. Lots of F-Us exchanged. Angelique tries to keep Tonya from popping Plastic in the nose…er, knee. They finally leave and Tonya is livid. She says she tried to be nice and include Christy, and this is what she gets. Outside, Plastic continues to call Tonya transphobic. Jasmine says she’d actually felt sorry for Christy.

No preview.

The Real Housewives of NYC – The Reunion – Part Three

We open with Sonja’s sobriety, flashing back to the various women discussing her drinking, among each other and with her. Surprise! her life and relationships improve when she calls it quits. Andy gives her props. Sonja says she always quits around the holidays and just decided to extend her abstinence. She says she has the occasional sip of something now, but never finishes a glass. The Countess compliments her and the others also give her kudos. Andy asks Bethenny about being too harsh, and she agrees that she was. Sonja says she understood and knows how Bethenny operates. Dorinda tells Sonja she’s delusional and makes it about the trip to the Berkshires.

Sonja tarnishes things a little by pointing fingers, mostly at Ramona, because she was supposed to go in on Tipsy Girl. We move on to the Berkshires trip like Dorinda wanted us to. She stands by her decision. I guess to ask them to leave. Or maybe that she made it nice. The Countess says she worked through it, and Bethenny says she did call Dorinda afterward. Andy says Dorinda must have had respect for Sonja when she was so much fun sober. Sonja says friends don’t exclude friends, and she was alone around the holidays. Dorinda tells her that she needs to sort her sh*t out. Sonja talks about being excluded again and Bethenny tells her to put it in perspective since it was only one night.

Sonja says Dorinda doesn’t care about her feelings and she walks off. She says she doesn’t want to be a part of the show unless Dorinda admits to not caring. Andy says everyone just said how incredible she is, and the women encourage her to sit back down. Sonja talks in a whiny voice and cozies up to Jules.

We revisit Miami. We got the yacht! The ring! Sonja’s lover! We’re getting married! I love the little squares where we see the Wives reactions to the videos. Andy asks if The Countess had been worried about inviting other women he dated to the engagement party. Jules says that two of her bridesmaids were ex-girlfriends of her husband, but we know how that ended up, so…

Sonja regrets her remarks about The Countess’s ring, although I didn’t like the ring either. The Countess says she didn’t take it personally, and Sonja says sorry again, adding that she was really mad at Tom. Andy brings up Bethenny calling Dorinda the village idiot. Bethenny says Dorinda plays ignorance is bliss. She says Dorinda is always the last to know. Dorinda says she’s just a hopeful person, but thanks for the analysis. Bethenny asks Dorinda to define village idiot and Dorinda does a Quasimodo impression. Bethenny says she didn’t get the metaphor, but I don’t either.Although I more think of Otis on The Andy Griffith Show.

Andy brings up Bethenny chastising Carole for being late to dinner and everyone talks at once. Jules talks about Carole being nicer and more relaxed when she’s not around Bethenny. A couple of the ladies say Bethenny’s personality out-shadows Carole’s. Andy bugs Ramona about lying when she went to Bagatelle, but Ramona says she avoids conflict. Dorinda says Bethenny browbeats people, calling them names and being nasty, and she often walks away feeling bad after talking to her. Bethenny says that’s how she feels right now. I like Bethenny, but I have to agree that this season she’s been pretty aggressive. I chalked it up to the horror that is suckerfish Jason Hoppy.

On to the moment we’ve all been waiting for – the Tom bomb. Roll the tape! Dorinda and The Countess whisper to each other throughout. Andy wonders how Bethenny got the pictures. She says someone who is in that circle sent her the pictures one night in the wee hours. Andy brings up The Countess saying she had an open marriage with Alex. She denies saying it, but everyone agrees that she did. She makes up a bunch of stuff. Andy asks Bethenny why she didn’t tell The Countess first and The Countess interjects that they wanted to talk about her behind her back and say she’s the village idiot. The Countess says she should have gone to Dorinda, if anyone, since she’d introduced them, instead of Ramona and Carole.

The Countess asks why Bethenny asked her about monogamy. Bethenny says she’s not doing this anymore and gets up. This must be around the eleventh hour, when everyone is sweaty, starving, and out of their minds. She twirls around a little and sits back down. Bethenny tries to explain that she didn’t know what to do, so she asked questions and almost called Tom. She says she didn’t want to see The Countess hurt and wants her to be happy, and that’s why she was so emotional. For some reason, Dorinda looks smug. Maybe she’s thinking about her laundry man, John.

Andy asks if The Countess thinks Bethenny is sincere. The Countess says all the investigation Bethenny did seemed odd. Bethenny says she wanted to be sure and most people want to know what, when and where. The Countess says she was devestated and shocked. Andy asks what Tom said on the phone, since we didn’t hear it. The Countess says they’d had a fight and he went to The Regency, got drunk, and saw an old girlfriend. She says in the morning, he was in bed where he was supposed to be. She says it was embarrassing and heartbreaking.

Andy asks if they’d all want to know if their partner was cheating, and everyone says yes. The Countess says the problem was how it was done and she wishes Dorinda had told her. Bethenny says next time her fiance of one week is making out with someone else, she’ll know what to do.

Dorinda says when they got back, The Countess was in shock. She invited The Countess to stay with her and told her not to see Tom, but The Countess went to a hotel. Dorinda says The Countess was in a state of panic and Tom wanted her to lie about it. She wasn’t about to get in the middle and be the fall guy. Not to mention there was that pesky picture. Dorinda says Tom did give her an apology later. The Countess makes up stuff to make Tom sound better.

The Countess says Tom was sad and sorry, and she decided she wasn’t going to let it ruin her life. Ramona asks what she’d do if he did it again and would she want to know. The Countess says not from Bethenny. She says they love each other and decided to work things out. Since then it’s been unicorns and rainbows. Andy asks how the kids reacted and she says Noel was furious. She had to tell them since she didn’t know if it would come out in some big way. Yeah, like on the show. She says if it happens again, they’d better tell her and Ramona asks if she’s sure.

Andy says he feels crass asking, but Ramona keeps questioning whether The Countess would want to know. He wonders if she knows something. Ramona says she doesn’t. Dammit! I thought we’d get more evidence whipped out. Andy asks The Countess if it hadn’t been so public, would she have been as upset. She says because it was in public, she was less upset because it was obvious he wasn’t thinking clearly.

A viewer asks if The Countess is in love with Tom or in love with being in love with a man like Tom? She says he’s the male version of her. Ramona feels her reasoning is too shallow, but The Countess says he even likes her kids.

The Countess says it’s one of the roughest things she’s ever gone through, and she’s not going to let a kiss ruin their life together. They’re getting married! She thanks the girls for being there for her.

Wrapping it up, Andy asks if Bethenny and The Countess can get past it. Bethenny says it’s been like opening a new wound and The Countess hit a new low saying she was sleeping with a married man. The Countess says she was given misinformation and apologizes.

They go through the things they would have handled differently, and none of them are very interesting or surprising. Dorinda compliments Sonja on being a survivor, saying she admires that in a woman. Ramona says she’s glad The Countess is happy and The Countess wishes them all happiness. She’s getting married!

Andy can’t wait to see what happens next and says they’re the reason why he loves New York women so much. There’s a group hug with everyone except Bethenny, who remains seated.

👻 While I’m not recapping American Horror Story, I’ll be watching. All I have to say about the first episode tonight is that when an amazing old house is cheap, you know there’s going to be a scary problem. A hail storm of teeth was a great start.

September 7, 2016 – GH’s Spleen Problem, LA’s Christy Problem & NYC’s Countess Can’t See the Problem


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny says the new baby coming is like a double blessing. Carly says it’s been a perfect day. She better duck.

Elizabeth goes unconscious, probably because Franco is taking so long to make his point.

Tracy sees Dillon in the park. She says she doesn’t see any models, but he says sometimes he actually takes pictures of things that aren’t part of the job. He’s trying to capture the light at the end of summer. Tracy remembers him talking about the dynamics of light as a child and how she knew he had the makings of an artist. He says that what he does at Crimson isn’t exactly visionary. She asks him what’s wrong.

Kiki and Morgan talk outside Perks as Ava watches. A baseball cap delivery comes, but the hats say “Pecks” instead of “Perks,” and Morgan isn’t happy.

Griff comes flying into Elizabeth’s room. He calls code blue. Her spleen just ruptured. Uh-huh. It’s always that damn spleen.

Dillon tells Tracy he’s not lost or drifting into trouble. Tracy says something is bothering him and at some point over the summer, the wind got knocked out of his sails. She wonders if it has to do with the STI, but he says he took the antibiotics and he’s fine. Next she wonders if he’s suffering from a broken heart. He says he knew that Kiki had a previous relationship with Morgan and they got back together. End of story. Tracy asks if he’s hoping Kiki has changed her mind.

Kiki asks Morgan why he thinks it’s him that screwed up. She looks at the manifest and says he’s not at fault. She says the company screwed up, not him, and he should mail the hats back right now. He wants to congratulate Sam and Jason, so Kiki says she’ll take them. Morgan is annoyed that he told Aaron the hats would be there today, but Kiki says that’s not in his control. She suggests they keep a hat as a memento for when Perks takes over Starbucks, but he doesn’t find it funny, and says he’s feeling off today. Ava has been watching and she flashes back to when she switched his lithium with whatever looks like lithium, but isn’t.

Griff says they have to stop the internal bleeding and Elizabeth is taken to the ER. Franco asks what he can do, and Griff says pray. Franco balks at the idea. Griff says he doesn’t have time to explain God, faith and the universe right now, but Franco could also notify the family.

Carly asks Sam what’s up. Sam says she hadn’t expected to make the baby announcement, but she’s glad it came out. Considering everything they’ve been though, she’s happy how everything is coming together and the baby not knowing anything except true love and them all being true friends. Spinelli is thrilled and bluebirds fly around with ribbons in their mouths. Carly asks Spinelli for pictures of his baby and he says they don’t know what they’re asking, since he has a PowerPoint presentation.

Franco calls Jason asking where Jake is. Jason tells him to get lost, but Franco says Jake needs to know his mother might be dying. Jason tells everyone that Elizabeth’s spleen just burst. Carly thinks it’s a set-up, but Jason says he’s going to the hospital. He tells Sam to stay and spend time with Spinelli, since he came all this way.

Jason leaves and Sam has an official craving for ribs. She thanks Carly and Sonny, who says no thanks are needed because they’re family. Sam and Spinelli leave to get ribs. Carly says she hopes Jason isn’t going to break Franco’s neck, which wouldn’t be a good end for the day. Sonny pretends that he wants to help clean up, but Carly tells him that’s okay, since his help is no help. I identify. He wants to go to Perks and see how things are going. He says it’s the first time in a long time he’s seen Morgan this together.

Ava tells one of the employees at Perks that Morgan seems like a downer. The guy says he’s been down in the dumps all day. Ava twirls her mustache.

Dillon says Kiki is none of Tracy’s business, and she says as his mother, everything is her business. He says he’s not ten and doesn’t need coaching. She says he’s hung up on an unobtainable girl and he has a couple of choices, to go off on an adventure or fight for her. She says she speaks from experience, and he should decide what he wants and go for it. The worst choice he could make is to do nothing. She leaves and he talks to himself about not being able to have what he wants.

Kiki pops out with the box and asks what’s up. Dillon says he’s annoyed at his mother, but it’s not worth talking about. She says his head looks like it’s going to explode, and no one’s more sympathetic than she is. He says Tracy was lecturing him about her.

Jason shows up at the hosptial. Franco fills him in on what happened. He says one minute he was talking to Elizabeth and the next she was unconscious. Jason is surprised about the fall down the stairs. Franco says he tried to call him and Jason ignored it, and she didn’t just fall, she was pushed by Hayden. Griff comes out.

Spinelli and Sam go to The Floating Rib for what else? Sam wonders about Elizabeth and Spinelli suggests taking a look at the hospital records. Sam says she’ll wait for Jason and that she and Elizabeth have called a truce. She says Elizabeth and Jason are always going to be in each others lives because of Jake.

Griff confirms that Elizabeth’s spleen ruptured. Franco says you can live without one, but Griff says it’s not the ideal situation. Then he actually explains what the spleen does, and it’s important. He says they’re giving Elizabeth blood transfusions until they can figure out how to deal with it.

Kiki asks why Tracy was lecturing Dillon about her. He says she’s stuck on when she walked in on them. He tells her that she’s with someone else, he accepts it, and as long as she’s happy, he’s happy. He asks what’s in the box, and she explains about the baseball caps. Dillon mentions she doesn’t even work at Perks. Kiki says she’s not babying Morgan, if that’s what he thinks. He thinks she needs to hear something about Morgan.

Morgan gets home and wonders where everyone is. Carly says they’ll be back and he’ll have time to wish everyone well, but wonders why he’s home. He tells her Perks wasn’t busy. Carly says Sonny just went over there and will be disappointed not to see him.

Sonny sees Ava and accuses her of spying on Morgan, telling her that she’s not going to mess with his life. Ava says she hasn’t seen Morgan or Kiki and says sometimes a latte is just a latte. He says she seems pleased with herself. She says she is and Sonny asks why.

Spinelli wonders what Sam meant by Elizabeth being supportive in her own way when Sam found out she was pregnant. Sam tells him about Jason contracting malaria and how scared she was about the baby having it, adding that the baby is fine. Spinelli tells her to never hesitate to call if she and the baby need help. He says he wants to reciprocate all the help she’s given him with support and childcare tips.

Griff says Elizabeth needs more blood than they have on hand. Jason and Franco volunteer and he tells them what room they have to go to. Jason asks Franco about Hayden and Franco explains that she’d just argued with Elizabeth. He asks if anyone saw Hayden push her. Franco says no, but he saw her standing over Elizabeth. Jason says he’ll tell Jake and tells Franco not to give him any advice.

Dillon says he thought Kiki was enabling Morgan because she felt obligated or guilty, but when he saw her in the garage, he accepted that they have a real connection and a true bond. He says there’s obviously a lot of love between them and he wants all good things for her. Oh come on, Kiki, dump Morgan. She kisses Dillon on the cheek and continues on her way.

Carly tells Morgan that he seems quiet, and he tells her about the hats, saying that it’s not a big deal. She tells him that Sonny said he seems to have a handle on his personal and professional life, but he seems low. She asks if everything is okay.

Ava says Julian’s trial is starting and she has faith that justice will be served. Sonny says he didn’t realize she wanted Julian locked up, but she says she has a different outcome in mind. She mentions Alexis’s fight with Kristina and says Alexis is an unreliable witness. He asks if that’s the only reason she’s smirking and when she tells him yes, he says she’s lying.

Franco pressures Jason to tell Jake. Jason says he wants to tell him in person. Franco wants to make suggestions, but Jason isn’t having any. Jason makes arrangements for the kids, saying there’s something important he has to take care of. Franco moons over Elizabeth’s empty hospital bed and flashes back to their kiss.

Morgan tells Carly he’s fine and he’s just having an off day. She says everyone has one. She doesn’t want to be a helicopter mom, but tells him he can make an appointment if he needs to. He says he knows that and the alarm on his phone goes off to take his meds. He says he needs to realize every day isn’t going to be perfect (tell me about it) and he has to stay on schedule with his medication. He tells Carly he appreciates that she always has his back

Sonny says he agreed to a truce for Avery’s sake, but he hasn’t forgotten who Ava is. He says if she interferes with Morgan’s life, he’ll have to retaliate and don’t push him because she won’t like how he pushes back. Kiki comes back and asks if there’s a problem. Sonny says he was wondering the same thing.

Kiki asks what Ava is doing there. Sonny says he hopes she can get more truth out of Ava than he did and leaves. Ava tells Kiki that Sonny thinks she wants to cause trouble, but she just wanted a cup of cofee. She says as much as she hates to admit it, Kiki is an adult and can make her own choices. No more interfering. Kiki says Morgan is doing great. Ava says if they’re meant to be together, let nature take it’s course. We see Morgan take his pills.

Sam thanks Spinelli for coming and he says it’s his pleasure. He says he’s never seen her so content. She says as far back as she can remember happiness has made her nervous because it could always be taken away from her. She says she doesn’t feel that way this time. She has faith that good things can happen, joy can actually last, and she and Jason have a future.

Jason calls to find out how Jake is and says he’ll see them when they get there, wherever there is.

Franco asks how much longer. Griff tells him they have a serious problem.

Tomorrow, Lulu realizes all of her dreams might not come true, Valerie finds out about Curtis working to free Hayden, and Robert has news for Dante and Lulu.

Little Women: LA

Elena and Terra go to the spa. While getting a mud mask, Terra asks if Elena has heard from Briana, who has spent most of her pregnancy in the hospital. She was in so much pain, she had to leave her own party, and no one has heard from her. Elena says since the party didn’t go as joyfully as planned, she wants to plan something else. Terra suggests a murder mystery party. Elena wants all the friends invited, but Terra says Christy is no one’s friend. We flash back to some of Christy’s recent shadiness. Terra is surprised that Elena wants to give her another chance, and tells her that some of the girls think Christy might be self-medicating. Elena thinks she’s just being desperate in trying to get Briana’s friendship back. Terra agrees to invite her. It being a murder mystery party, you don’t know who the invite is from.

Briana is in the hospital. Maverick Jack is here. Even though he’s premature, his only issue is fluid on the lungs. Matt is a little freaked, but says Briana was tough as nails in handling it. He says he’s going to be scared until they take their baby home. He has to be breathing and gaining weight on his own before he’s allowed out. Matt says he’s proud of Briana.

Elena is busy. Now she’s shopping with Tonya. Everyone except Briana has RSVP’d for the party. Christy meets them at the store. It’s a vintage clothing shop and my eyes dart everywhere. Elena brings up Julie knowing where Briana was going to be and sending a process server there. Christy says she had nothing to do with it, telling them that Briana was going to get served anyway because Julie told her it was going to happen. Hmm… Tonya says if she’s going to lie, pick one and stick with it. Tonya says Christy was the only one who knew where Briana was going to be. Christy says she didn’t do it, but even if she did, who cares? since Briana deserved it. Wow. Not too obvious.

This does not go over too well with Tonya and Elena. Christy says she’s sick of everyone asking her about it. In her interview, Christy complains about Briana not inviting her to anything and Briana not being appreciative of her marital advice. She says Briana needs to pay her bills or expect to be served. Christy starts crying, saying she didn’t hire Julie to piss off Briana. In her interview, Elena says that Christy seems desperate to be liked and have friends, and she wants to help out. I’d like to help her out the door.

Jasmine visits Briana in the hospital. Since she’s been so supportive, Briana wants her to be the first to meet the baby. Briana tells her she also had her tubes tied while she was there. In her interview, Jasmine says when she and Chris make the decision not to have any more kids, he’s going to be the one who gets snipped. Poor baby Maverick has a million tubes going in and out of him. This hits home to Jasmine, who wonders what if that happens with her baby?

Kerwin and Tonya play table tennis. Tonya says his height gives him an advantage and even a friendly game of ping pong can turn into a war with them since they’re both competitive. Tonya is still upset about Angelique not being happy about her father moving in and wants to get all of them on the same page. She tells Kerwin about Angelique being upset that her opinion wasn’t sought. Kerwin says he thought he had a father and daughter bond, and thought his moving in would make everyone happy, but that’s not the case.

Tonya, Kerwin and Angelique get together for an afternoon of riding water bikes. I’ve never seen these before and they look like bicycles on thin parallel surfboards. Afterward, Tonya says she wanted them to come together as a family and wants Angelique to express herself. Angelique said she felt badly because she wasn’t involved in the decision. Kerwin says he thought she’d be happy. Tonya asks what they can do to make the situation better. Angelique says better communication and Tonya suggests it’s needed on both ends.

Terra tells Joe she got some news and he asks if the baby isn’t his. She says bigger than that – she’s been chosen for the next season of Dancing with the Stars. Joe says he’s proud of her. Lots of that going around today. Terra is concerned about being a little person dancing with an average sized guy and doesn’t want his “package” in her face. The plan is for her to start three weeks after she has the baby. She wonders if she should still do it if the doctor says no. Joe is like, of course not, but Terra wants to do it more than anything and be an example for little people.

Terra gets an ultrasound. Afterward, she talks to the doctor about doing the show. She tells him they want to start three weeks after her c-section. The doctor says sometimes there’s postpartum bleeding with a c-section. In her interview, Terra says she’s okay with pushing through and she’s going to do it anyway. The doctor says if she gets anything more than a little sore, she should stop.

Briana’s daughter, Lieana, wants to see her baby brother, so Matt brings her to the hospital. In her interview, Briana talks about how happy she is now and how everything sucked five minutes ago. Lieana says it’s feels great to be a big sister and can’t wait to take “her” baby home.

The murder mystery party commences. Joe asks if they get to really murder someone. He and Terra have agreed not to announce her Dancing with the Stars gig yet, because she doesn’t want her buzz harshed by Christy. In her interview, Christy says she thought Terra might have invited her, but nixed that idea when Terra didn’t want to hug her.

Everyone is given envelopes with the details of their character. One person is secretly the killer and it’s up to the others to figure out who it is. There are also some party professionals playing roles. The set up is that they’re all actors and actresses at a film premiere for a movie about the Black Dahlia, but the star has been murdered. There are envelopes that hold clues for each of the participants. Everyone asks questions of everyone else in trying to figure out who the killer is.

“Ruth” (Tonya) has been slipped poison and the antidote is in the clues. Tonya pretends to fade and “Greta” (Christy) finds the antidote. Joe’s envelope says that Ruth was never poisoned and the antidote was really poison. Tonya hams it up in her death scene. Jasmine turns out to be the murderer. She likes how Christy was almost framed.

Afterwards, they talk outside. Elena is glad they’re being friends like they used to be. Jasmine says she’s surprised Christy cares and brings up how she gave Julie information about Briana. Christy says that’s not the case and gets snarky. She says nothing happened behind Briana’s back. Julie just asked if Christy needed a publicist. She says others have shared a publicist, but the girls say they discussed it among themselves first. Elena brings up what Christy said when they were shopping.

Christy tries to interrupt her, but Elena tells her to let her finish. Both she and Terra talk about how Christy’s story keeps changing. Jasmine says it doesn’t matter who her PR person is, but it matters that her story changes. Jasmine says she cries about wanting to be Briana’s friend yet does things behind her back. Christy brings up how they disliked Matt five minutes ago and now everyone is okay with him. Terra says they’re not okay, but they’ve decided to move forward and none of them did things behind Briana’s back. She asks if Briana ever called Christy’s son and tried to drag him back into her life? Apparently, there’s some bad blood there. Terra wonders if Christy is popping pills. In her interview, Christy says that’s between her and her doctor and her drinking is between her and God. Does this mean God is her drinking buddy? Terra tells her to tell the truth for once, and that her lies are the reason she loses friends. Joe says she’s lucky to have Todd since he can deal with her lies. In her interview, Elena says it’s hard to watch Christy being nasty and everyone fighting. Terra says she’s not interested in Christy’s personal life the way Christy has dug into Briana’s. Christy and Todd leave. Jasmine says she’s proved she can’t be trusted.

Next time, an archery tournament (I shudder at the thought), Jasmine confronts Christy, and Christy drags in the mystery transgender (no pun intended). I have to add how much it makes me laugh when Matt calls Christy “Crusty.”

The Real Housewives of NYC – Reunion Part Three

I enter late and Bethenny is talking about her illness and how Ramona was very nurturing, since she doesn’t have a mother figure in her life. Andy asks if that’s why she recently reached out to her mom, but Bethenny says no, it was because her daughter asked about having grandparents. She says they hadn’t talked in years. Andy asks if she felt better afterward, but Bethenny isn’t sure. She says she and Brinn are going to Florida to visit her mother. Andy brings up Bethenny going to her old apartment after finally getting suckerfish Jason Hoppy out. Bethenny says she’s the type that just barrels through, but when she got there, seeing everything so empty, it all washed over her. She says she thought it would feel good, but it wasn’t like that. We see her wailing over the empty walk-in closet.

Andy asks about Bethenny getting married again. She says it hadn’t been important to get married again, but now she’s not sure. He asks about her new boyfriend seeing her lose her sh*t on the show, but she says he’s amused by it. The Countess is annoyed that he finds the name calling funny because she has a stick up her behind.

We go over Jules’s Jewish Asianness, and relive Bethenny’s reactions to Jules’s eating disorder. We flash back to when Jules baked the measuring cup into her calzone. This slides into scenes of Jules’s husband, Michael, being absent in the relationship. Jules says they’d always worked out their problems, but this year was different. Andy asks about cheating on his part and spousal abuse on hers, and she says you can’t believe everything you read. Bethenny says that mutual frineds told her Jules had a prenup and came on the show to get divorced. Dorinda tells Bethenny she should stay out of it and there’s arguing among the ladies.

Andy congratulates Jules on being the first housewife to share an eating disorder. Jules talks about being comfortable enough to share things with Bethenny first, and how that didn’t work out too well. She says she’s doing better than ever and will continue to do so. She says years ago, she wouldn’t have admitted anything and someone in denial wouldn’t do that. She adds that it goes in stages. Carole brings up the calzone thing and Jules says she was just goofing around. I’m starting to get uncomfortable because I feel like Carole and Bethenny are ganging up on her. Carole says she was seeing something that new friends sometimes do. Jules says unless Carole knew the depths she came from, she can’t know the progress that’s been made.

Andy asks about Bethenny’s mother having an eating disorder. Bethenny says some of the things Jules claims she said, she didn’t say. Jules says that’s not the case, and Bethenny says she’s allowed to have her own perspective. In an astute moment, The Countess says perhaps Bethenny is projecting because of her mother. A viewer suggests Bethenny is turning Carole into a mean girl. We flash back to the two of them acting like idiots when visiting Jules. Again we hear about how they have a right to their opinion.

A viewer brings up Jules talking about the women’s ages. Dorinda says there’s a big difference between Jules’s age and theirs. Jules says she was just joking and another viewer suggests Bethenny can dish it out and not take it. Bethenny compares joking about age and weight, but Jules says her weight is connected with her eating disorder (i.e. mental illness, so not a cool thing to joke about). Dorinda says Jules came to her saying how hurt she was and she told her to stand up for herself.

Bethenny tells Jules she didn’t represent being Jewish well. Whatever that means. It’s not like she was dancing naked on a bar with a lampshade on her head. She asks if Bethenny can’t lighten up. Bethenny says she’ll say whatever she wants. She’s not looking good here at all.

Dorinda’s pot stirring is up next. We flash back to her working that spoon and talking about everyone behind their backs. To their credit, everyone laughs about it. Dorinda says when she saw the show, she thought, don’t tell Dorinda anything, and her brother called her Gladys Kravitz. She says she does try to come from a good place, but sometimes she gets it wrong. Bethenny says she jacked Jules up, but Dorinda says she thought Bethenny and Carole were being mean to her. Carole acts like it’s okay because it wasn’t behind her back. Dorinda brings up how Carole talked about Dorinda’s house being ghostly because she has her late husband’s stuff there. We see a flashback and they are pretty mean. Dorinda says that hurt her feelings and tells Bethenny to stop explaining it away. She says she wouldn’t have brought up Carole’s late husband.

The girls say it hasn’t gone unnoticed that Carole and Bethenny only pal around with each other. Carole says some of them are closer than others, but it’s true. A viewer asks why none of the ladies held Dorinda’s feet to the fire about her pot stirring. Sonja gives a mini tirade and Dorinda says she’s going to stay out of it from now on, but she will stick up for Jules. She thinks the intent wasn’t positive toward her.

On to The Countess’s engagement. We flash back to The Countess being uncool in her interaction with Sonja and Ramona, who had both dated her fiance. While we’re watching, The Countess calls Sonja delusional. Seriously, for what reason would Sonja have to lie about this? We also get to watch that snake, Tom, being uncomfortable when they’re all in the same room together. The Countess also did not have a good look this season. The Countess claims she knew the first week that Tom would be her next husband. They talk about her losing her title when she gets married and discuss the debate over the number of dates Ramona went on with Tom. Ramona gives us a detailed run down of all of their dates. Andy has to explain to The Countess why this might be an issue that Tom is contradicting Ramona. Bethenny says he lied. Tom said they’d only been out in a group setting and she saw them out together.

Wait for it…

Ramona brings out her evidence. A drawing Tom did of a heart on her hand with their initials. Ramona says he was trying to woo her. Ha-ha! Who uses that word? Bethenny asks if The Countess knows what a lie is and The Countess says he wasn’t lying. Andy interjects that he said he never went out with her when they were on the boat. The Countess tells everyone to back off. A viewer asks about Sonja’s relationship with Tom. Sonja says she never expected more and she thought Tom was a perennial bachelor. Sonja says she cares about The Countess more than Tom, but she was upset about the dear john text. The Countess claims to know he only slept with Sonja once. Andy asks how she can believe that when he lied about Ramona. The Countess says it’s not a big deal and she trusts and loves him. Andy asks how long she’s been friends with Sonja and she says eight years Bethenny asks how she can think Sonja is lying. The Countess says Sonja doesn’t remember how she gets home, how can she remember how many times she slept with Tom? Nasty. Ramona says she sees a lot of red flags and is concerned about The Countess. The Countess says it, and I cringe – they’re soulmates. She says it’s a big deal because Tom hasn’t been married before. That should be a HUGE red flag right there. I f a man his age hasn’t been married before, there’s a reason. Sonja gives The Countess a hug and The Countess says she hopes Sonja finds someone to marry. Why is this a necessity?

Andy asks why The Countess didn’t say anything to Ramona and Sonja when she started dating Tom. She says she wanted to be sure about Tom first. Carole calls girl code breach. More evidence! Ramona pulls out an article that she thinks Tom planted. The Countess says it was before they met. Ramona tells her if she’s going to lie, at least be consistent.

Andy brings up the awkwardness on the boat, but The Countess refuses to believe there was any. Sonja says she tried to break the ice with Tom by saying how cute he and The Countess were together. She says when she subsequently saw Tom, he basically told her that if she didn’t agree they were only together once, she wouldn’t be invited to the wedding. Dorinda wonders why The Countess wants to marry Tom at this point. Andy asks if everyone thinks she’ll go through with it.

Next time – Reunion Part Three – Bethenny calls Dorinda “the village idiot,” Ramona knows something else about Tom, and Sonja walks out.

Just sayin’ – I love Michael Rapaport. On Watch What Happens Live, he said Jacqueline (Real Housewives of New Jersey) is vicious and shouldn’t have been attacking Teresa, who was fresh out of the clink.

August 31, 2016 – GH’s Killer Gets Blackmailed, LA’s Briana is About to Pop & NYC’s Reunion Ordeal Begins


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn asks Franco what he’s implying about Hayden. He asks why Franco would accuse her of wanting Elizabeth dead. Hayden tells Finn not to pay attention to him, but Franco says Elizabeth has something on Hayden that could put her away. Hayden says Franco is just making things up, but he says he’s not making up a pouch of diamonds that are proof of fraud. I guess telling them that they’re sisters is now out of the question.

Franco leaves and Finn asks Hayden what’s going on. Hayden tells him not to get involved. Finn says he took some things out on her and he was wrong. He says she took a risk for him and he doesn’t want her to leave town. Gee, maybe if you’d said that a week ago, you wouldn’t be having this conversation now. Hayden says she doesn’t know what to do and he tells her to stop doing it on her own and let him help her.

Alexis is at the bar. OMG – so is Julian!

Ava realizes Paul is the hospital killer. Ava wonders why he’d do something like that and says nothing makes sense.

Meanwhile, Paul continues to be the hospital killer, stalking Monica. Luckily her phone rings while she’s in the locker room, but he’s lurking right behind her.

Griff tells Franco they’ve ruled some things out, but Elizabeth isn’t out of the woods. Franco asks what he’s talking about. Griff says they need to run more tests and they take as long as they take. Doctor talk. He says she’s under excellent care and constant attention.

Julian tells Alexis that the powers that be know they belong together. She argues with him and he grabs her arm. Then we see Tracy has her arm. I can’t believe they fooled me again. Alexis asks where Julian went. Tracy says he’s in jail. Alexis swears she saw him, so Tracy calls the PCPD.

Oh! Paul’s phone goes off and startles Monica. Hiding the syringe, he makes something up about why he’s there. She thanks him for all his hard work and leaves. He sees a picture on his phone of him and Ava – he’s putting on cufflinks in the picture. He calls her, thinking that she’s trying to hold their affair over his head, but she says she has something more and to meet her at Perks. He asks where she is now and she says closer than he thinks. She talks to herself, saying now it’s his turn to have his sins come back and haunt him. This is a good one today.

Jordan comes to the hospital. Monica tells her Paul is there already. She’d asked him to come because of the patient that did and he was there in a heartbeat. Yep. He certainly was. Monica says she thought that’s why Jordan was there, but Jordan says she’s there because Elizabeth was supposed to come to the station and never showed up.

Griff tells Franco to talk to Elizabeth when she gets settled in. He believes in second chances and thinks Franco is sincere.

Hayden tells Finn about the diamonds. She says Elizabeth made her so angry, she slapped her, but that’s all. He says he believes her. She says the diamonds were all that was left after the Feds confiscated all the assets, but she never sold them because they were the last thing left from her father. Finn says help him understand how she could be so clueless.

Tracy confirms that Julian is still in jail. She asks how long Alexis has been hallucinating. Alexis says it’s more like a waking nightmare that she’s had since Julian tried to kill her. Tracy brings up the fight she had with Kristina, but Alexis says it was no big deal. Still, she’s terrified Julian will be acquitted because of her.

Paul tells Ava she’d better have a good reason for the meeting. Ava acts silly and tells him they’re in a public place, so don’t try to kill her. She tells him about Jordan calling her in regard to a murder. He tells her the flash drive is safe as long as she testifies against Julian. She says she’s not going to do that and he’s not going to give the flash drive to anyone. He thinks she’s calling his bluff, but she tells him about the cufflink and how she remembered it was his.

Monica tells Jordan how Elizabeth had a nasty fall. She starts to tell Jordan about the power outage, but Franco butts in, saying something about Hayden being responsible.

Hayden tells Finn that she has nothing left. She lied to the Feds, and if Elizabeth turns her in, she’ll go to prison. Finn says Franco is right, if Elizabeth dies, her problems go away. Hayden is aghast that he’d believe she’d kill Elizabeth.

Griff sees a needle in with the dirty scrubs. He carefully removes it.

Franco talks to an unconscious Elizabeth. He says they have a lot to talk about and there’s more to life than just toast. She regains consciousness and asks what happened. She asks about the boys and he says they’re fine. She says she’s sore and he tells her she took a big fall. He asks if she remembers anything.

Tracy says Alexis knows what the jury wants to hear to convict Julian and she has to give it to them. Alexis tells Tracy about how Jordan thought she was still trying to protect Julian and trying to discredit herself.

Paul laughs – ha-ha! – at Ava. He says she can’t prove he ever owned anything like that. She says she does have their video though. In addition to the graphic footage, there’s a clear image of him putting on his cufflinks.

Griff tells Monica about the syringe. He’s given it to the lab for analyzing. He asks about Elizabeth and they both go to check on her. Franco is telling Elizabeth to just concentrate on getting better because he’s not okay with this and thought he almost lost her. She says she’s still here and he says he’s glad. (His characters are so often brooding, it’s nice to see Roger Howarth smile. Although I’d rather see Franco and Nina together.) Griff and Monica come in. Griff says tests are being run and Monica says everyone is rooting for her and to rest. When they’re gone, Franco says everyone in the hospital loves her. Elizabeth starts to remember what happened. She starts to talk about going into Monica’s office, but Franco interrupts, so she skips to the power outage on the stairs. She tells him she felt hands on her back.

Hayden asks if Finn thinks she pushed Elizabeth. He says he didn’t say that, but the argument happened just before Elizabeth fell down the stairs, so what is he supposed to think?

Alexis says if nothing else, Scotty is going to have a field day with how long she waited to say something about Julian. Tracy says that’s okay, he’ll probably make a procedural error, and besides, they have the confession on tape. She says after all Alexis has been through, she’ll blow the jury away just by telling the truth.

Paul balks at the idea a grainy video will bury him. Um…it’s not very grainy. He asks why Ava thinks he’d be behind the killings. She says she spent time in his hotel room tonight and not to be concerned with the how and the why, but what she found. She shows him the pouch with the syringes in it and he makes a great soap opera face. 😨

Hayden tells Finn she wanted to shut Elizabeth up, but not kill her. She says she had something on Elizabeth too. She tells him she was shot last year and the official story was wrong. She says Nicholas hired sometone to kill her and Elizbeth knew about it. Finn’s mind boggles that Hayden still married Nicholas. Hayden says Elizabeth was an accessory after the fact and she was going to make a bargain with her. She says she’s not a murderer. Jordan interrupts saying she’s been looking for Hayden. She tells her that Elizabeth had called saying she had information about Hayden. Hayden says she doesn’t know anything about it and Elizabeth doesn’t clue her in on her plans. Jordan says Franco told her that he found Elizabeth with her in the stairwell. She asks what Hayden was doing before the outage and Finn says she was with him.

Elizabeth realizes she was pushed and wonders who would try to kill her. She says she was going home to get the diamonds and she’d just had a fight with Hayden. Finn got in the middle and told her to go see Monica. Franco says its not a stretch to think Hayden was involved, since when he got there, she was standing over Elizabeth.

Alexis asks Tracy what she’s even doing at The Floating Rib, since its not her usual haunt. Tracy tells her about the disastrous lunch with Dillon and how she saw Alexis talking to herself. She says she knows Alexis is angry and that anger can be motivating. She tells Alexis that it will get better and eventually she’ll have her life back, but testifying is the first step. Tracy leaves to take a call and Julian is back again, telling Alexis that she won’t be able to do it.

Paul says not that it’s Ava’s business, but he has a prescription. She says not for this he doesn’t and it’s something used for surgery. She says she was originally there out of curiosity and found the mother lode. She asks what he’s trying to cover up, who he’s trying to frame, or is he just a psycho? She says he’s done if she decides to go to Jordan. He asks what she wants. This reminds me of the time that Home Depot tried to get over on me, but then realized I had the upper hand. Long roofing story.

Griff tells Monica that the syringe tested positive for whatever that drug is that’s been killing the patients. She wonders if the power outage stopped the killer and Griff says maybe they’re the one who caused it.

Ava says Paul probably made copies of the flash drive anyway, but his silence is a condition of the agreement. She says she knows he’s angry and homicidal, but there’s no reason not to be civilized. And I swear to you, just now Paul called Ava “Anna” and no one caught it or they thought the audience wouldn’t. Ava tells Paul that she also wants Julian to go free.

Alexis says she’ll bury Julian, but he says she can’t, and they’ll be together because they were meant to be. She tells him he’s not really there. Tracy sees her talking to herself again, and Alexis asks what’s happening to her. Tracy says she’s been drinking on an empty stomach. She tells Alexis she’s calling her a cab and she’s to go home, drink some water, take some aspirin and go to bed. If she ends up a whimpering mess, Julian wins, and don’t let him win anything.

Finn tells Jordan that he and Hayden had argued and he was trying to make things right. Jordan says she might need to contact him for more formal questioning and Hayden should expect to be contacted as well. She leaves and Hayden asks why Finn didn’t say anything. He says he doesn’t think she pushed Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Hayden did this to her. Franco says they don’t know that and Elizabeth tells him about the slap. She adds that Finn saw it and says Hayden tried to kill her.

Tomorrow, Jason tells Sam to make a wish, Sonny tells Joe not to make the same mistakes Carrrlos did, and Nell asks Carly if she threatened someone.

Little Women: LA

Briana says she’s about to burst and she’s now as big around as she is tall. She and Matt go out to lunch and discuss having a housewarming or “pre-pop” party. She says if Christy shows up, she’ll call the cops. She’s furious about Christy setting her up at Tonya’s party. Briana says Christy is delusional and she thinks she must be doing something like day drinking or taking drugs. She says Christy has completely changed, and she vacillates between being zen and wired. Matt thinks they should also reveal their baby’s name at the party.

Joe and Terra are doing fun activities with Penny before she has a new brother or sister to torment for the rest of her life. They’re making some kind of craft that involves hand prints, and Penny is not pleased at having her hand dipped in paint. Joe tells her not to worry because she only has 18 more years to live with them.

Since Penny will be behind in physical development, Terra is trying to teach her more words. In her interview, Terra says there’s no scale to measure a little person’s development; everyone is different.

Preston and Elena, who looks stunning in a yellow and black maxi sun dress, sit on the patio while the babies are napping. They discuss their sex life, or lack thereof, since they have to wait six weeks. Elena says she feels like cobwebs are growing on her and she’s counting down the hours. One of the babies starts to cry. There goes relaxation time.

Tonya comes over Terra’s place. Terra wants to wrap up the feud they’ve been having. In her interview, Terra says they’ve been best friends for most of their lives. She tells Tonya that she’s sorry for putting her nose where it didn’t belong and that Tonya is like a sister to her. She starts to tear up and Tonya tells her to stop because she doesn’t want to cry. She says the activewear line is like her baby and there’s a difference between critiques and throwing shade. She’s also annoyed that Terra drug Elena into it.

Terra says she hadn’t expected Elena to make things worse. She tells Tonya that it upset her to see Tonya talking to Christy about it. Terra switches topics by saying she gets the feeling there’s been a disconnect between Tonya and Angelique since Kerwin moved in. She tells Tonya that Angelique feels like she settled. In her interview, Tonya is bothered that Angelique would tell Terra something like that before she came to her. Tonya accepts Terra’s apology, but insists she hasn’t settled.

Autumn and Christy are taking a yoga class. In her interview, Christy says yoga ain’t easy for a dyslexic dwarf, and that you’re not going to be a good parent unless you’re embarrassing your kid. My father would probably concur about the latter. After class, Christy tells Autumn that her grandfather could have colon cancer. They say they’re each other’s best friend.

The girls go to an ice cream parlor where you ride a bike to churn your own ice cream. Cool! Both literally and figuratively. Tonya tells everyone that she and Terra have reconciled. Elena says she was hurt by Tonya blowing her off at the party and feels like she can’t speak her mind. Tonya thinks once Elena actually sees her activewear, she’ll be impressed.

Tonya asks how everyone is feeling about Briana and Matt, since their party is coming up. Jasmine says that Matt makes her uncomfortable, but she doesn’t want it to cause another rift.

Jasmine and Chris walk on the beach. She says they won’t be able to have much alone time after the baby comes. She’s worried about Briana and Matt. Chris suggests she stay out of their business. Jasmine thinks that Matt needs to understand how she feels so they can move on. She says he has a hot temper and doesn’t mince words, so she’s concerned about approaching him.

Tonya and Angelique take a flying class. Not that kind of flying, but those circles and fabric swatches people twirl around on. During a break, Tonya tells Angelique that she and Terra made up. She mentions what Terra told her in regard to Angelique’s feelings about Kerwin. Angelique says it’s a big change and she feels like she got no warning. She loves them, but feels like her opinions and feelings have been disregarded. She starts to cry and Tonya apologizes. Tonya figured since Angelique was grown, it wouldn’t be a big deal and didn’t realize she needed to adjust. Tonya asks why Angelique feels like she’s settling. Angelique says that Kerwin moving in seemed to come out of the blue. Tonya says every love story is different and their timing hadn’t been good up until then. She says she’ll never put a man before her child though. They hug it out.

Todd and Christy look at outdoor plants for their new house. Todd wonders if getting Christy’s dad involved in gardening might be a good idea. She says her dad has pre-cancerous cells in his esophagus and they need to do more testing on his colon. It’s upsetting to hear her mother talk about chemo and radiation. Todd suggests putting off his search for his birth parents so they can concentrate on her father. Christy thinks all the more reason not to wait, since there could be health issues in Todd’s family that he should know about.

The pre-pop/housewarming party begins. Briana is having mild contractions, but says she’s had them before and isn’t too concerned. Elena looks fabulous for someone who just had twins, but these girls always look well put together. Jasmine is anxious about talking to Matt, since she doesn’t know what his reaction will be, but feels like she can’t hold back any longer.

Jasmine asks Matt if she can have a word. She says she was there for him and fought for him, and the things he did with other women were disgusting. She wants to be supportive of Briana, but doesn’t want things to be awkward with Matt. Matt tells her that he hopes with time he can show everyone that someone can change. He tears up and says he wants to set a good example for his children. Jasmine says that if he’s who Briana chooses, she has to accept that. He thanks Jasmine for being a good friend to Briana throughout.

Jasmine tells the girls about the conversation. In her interview, Terra thinks Jasmine is taking it all too much to heart and Briana is the one who has to sleep with him.

Time to eat. Jasmine asks Briana about Christy setting her up for the process server to find her at the party. Briana says she’s disgusted with Christy and she’ll never be friends with her again. She thinks Christy is trying to take attention away from something going on in her own life. Elena wonders if it was just a coincidence. Terra brings up how Christy almost got her arrested and Jasmine says it’s been a chain of events. Terra thinks Christy is trying to get back at Briana for cutting her out of the loop.

Briana wonders if Christy is on something. Terra says that she and Tonya had discussed if Christy was on drugs. Briana says she doesn’t seem like the same Christy. In her interview, Terra talks about Christy repeatedly taking what she said was ibuprofen a year ago, although she doesn’t think it was ibuprofen. Elena is distressed that the allegations are so big.

Game time. The guests pick a cupcake with a letter of the alphabet on it. All together they will form the name. Maverick Jax. Okay, I’m good with that. All of a sudden, Briana says her pain is at a 10 and it’s close to how she felt the last time she went to the hospital. She’s not supposed to have her c-section for another two weeks. Terra says she could die if she tries to deliver naturally. Briana decides to go to the hospital. She’s more worried about the baby than the pain, not knowing if these are contractions or the baby is in distress. Matt gets her into the car.

Tonya says the baby is about to come. Everyone watches as the car drives away.

This season is chock full o’ fun – an amusement park, archery, bowling, Penny poops, Briana delivers, Christy is confronted and Terra is hospitalized.

The Real Housewives of NYC – Reunion Part One

Andy says hello to the ladies and they answer back like it’s an AA meeting. No shock, everyone looks fabulous. I especially love Dorinda’s white and silver dress that looks like a snowflake. Bethenny’s divorce is finally coming to a close after five years, but she’s not discussing her latest boyfriend. Jules, who is in the process of a divorce, isn’t talking about that either.

We start with Dorinda and flash back to the stupidity of John. Dorinda wears those humongous chain earrings a lot. She’s like, thanks a lot for making me relive that again. Bethenny says her hat’s off to Dorinda for putting her life out there. The Countess asks if John watched the show. Dorinda says he tried to justify his behavior at first, but she told him he was an a-hole and he accepted the mantle.

A fan asks what Dorinda thinks rubs people the wrong way about John. She says her husband was very different, visually as well as intellectually, and she traveled in a different circle, so people aren’t used to it. Sonja says a bunch of stuff that boils down to John not having social skills. The bra party is brought up. Andy asks Bethenny if she was referring to coke when she sarcastically asked if John wanted to “blow some lines.” She says she was, and Dorinda says Bethenny doesn’t know their life. Bethenny doesn’t want the question to go any further. Dorinda asks why Bethenny would insinuate that she does drugs and Sonja says everyone knows she does. What? Andy just moves on and I’m like, hey, go back.

They talk about Bethenny’s birthday party and how she ran from John. Bethenny says her problem is that she can’t pretend, and it makes social situations awkward. Ramona gets a turn on the John bandwagon and we flash back to that drunk guy that John tried to kick out of the party. Then we move to The Countess because she dated that guy. Ramona is asked why she wanted him to stay, and she acts clueless. Andy asks Dorinda about where she thinks her relationship is going and she says they’re both happy the way things are. I’m very distracted by the decor – silver pillows on a plum velvety couch, winter berries in vases and some beautiful pink martini and wine glasses stacked in the background. Andy said they were at The Diamond Horseshoe in Times Square, which I assume is a chic bar.

Ramona’s turn. She’s single and ready to mingle. We flash back to her many moments of flirtatiousness. In one of them, I notice a lady in the background at a restaurant noticing the cameras. My favorite part is when Ramona mispronounces reggae as ra-gay, emphasis on the gay. Andy asks if there’s anyone special, but she says she’s just dating a lot. Dorinda says she went from trapping to hunting. Andy says viewers have seen her as “lighter” this season. She talks about her and Mario going back and forth for a while before they finally divorced. She had always been the caregiver when no one took care of her. I will say, she didn’t really scream and yell at anyone this time around. It’s Groundhog Day when we go back to the pronunciation of reggae and then we move on to The Countess’s way of pronouncing things that’s totally her own.

Dorinda is asked for a review of the guys that Ramona’s been dating, but she’s not talking. She and Sonja get in an argument about how Dorinda feels about Ramona’s dating life. Andy asks how Ramona’s daughter feels about her newly single mother. They all talk about Ramona’s new ta-tas and how great she looks.

We revisit Dorinda’s holiday weekend in the Berkshires. The Countess and Bethenny bicker in those little corner squares while we watch Bethenny rip The Countess a new one during dinner. It culminates with Dorinda’s “I did it nice” speech. Andy asks if there’s a curse on her parties with the women. We go over The Countess’s claim that Bethenny copied her hairstyle. Andy asks for a show of hands, but there are no takers. They discuss Dorinda’s birthday cake. Andy says her kitchen monologue was gripping. Dorinda says at that point she just wanted to be a mother and stop the arguing and I agree – she did sound like someone’s mother. Or that guy in West Side Story who says “You kids! Why do you live like there’s a war on?” Apparently, her tirades have their own Twitter name – dornadoes.

Andy mentions that The Countess acted self-centered when Jules tried to tell her about her father being sick. The Countess says she apologized and Jules says she wasn’t offended since they talk all the time. Bethenny is called out about slut-shaming The Countess. We flash back to the married man thing in Turks and Caicos. The Countess claims he was getting divorced. Pfft! That’s what they all say. She says Bethenny is a hypocrite because Bethenny is dating a married man right at this very minute. She didn’t really say that last part, but I thought it sounded more dramatic.

The Countess says when Bethenny started dating him, he had been married and living at home. I assume she means with his wife and not his parents. The Countess asks what married man she’s slept with, and Bethenny asks who hasn’t she slept with, and Carole adds if The Countess doesn’t know, how would she know? Bethenny jokes that she’s going to come out with a Slutty Girl line.

Andy asks if Bethenny’s boyfriend left his wife for her and she says no. She actually called his wife, who she’d gone to high school with, to make sure everything was cool. The Countess keeps whispering to the others on the other couch. Andy moves back on topic and Bethenny says she called his wife while she was still only friends with him to get a time stamp. Bethenny says if slut-shaming is noticing that The Countess writes etiquette books, but then acts like a whore when she’s out, that’s what she’s doing. Alrighty then!

Andy points out that Bethenny said she liked the new, freewheeling Countess during the last reunion. Bethenny says she got a little too free, swiping men out from under their women’s noses. A fan says that Bethenny is disrespectful to her co-stars and then acts repentant. The Countess says the remorse isn’t genuine and we go back to Bethenny dating a married man because no one can ever let anything go.

Bethenny whips out her phone to call her boyfriend’s daughter. Someone always whips out something. Bethenny asks the daughter if anyone in the family believes she was dating her father while he was married. The daughter confirms that’s a no. She actually talks for a while, but you can’t hear it above the bickering going on.The Countess says the daughter is just defending her father and there’s a mini-debate about whether daughters are more defending of their mothers or fathers. The Countess calls Bethenny a horrible, evil person and Bethenny calls her a liar.

Next time – part two – The Countess loses her title, Bethenny accuses Jules of using the show as a vehicle for her divorce, Tom and Sonja are discussed and Ramona whips out evidence. Told you.

I’m also watching The Real Housewives of Melbourne, although I started late because they snuck it in on me. I like this one because the women are all loud and literally larger than life, reminding me of transvestites, and I mean that in a good way. They wear lavish outfits, throw lavish parties, argue incessantly, and go to places like Dubai, a city I’m fascinated with, but would be scared to actually travel to. I love seeing Australia as well. That’s another place I’d love to visit, but can’t imagine a plane ride that long. This season, we were also treated to a the wedding of Gamble Breaux (yes, that’s her name) on a beach in New South Wales. I recommend this one – if you can keep track of it.

August 24, 2016 – GH’s Franco Gets the Girl, Little LA’s Briana Gets Served & The Countess Gets the Truth


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu talks to Dante about missing Nicholas. They discuss the upcoming baby making.

Franco tells Elizabeth this is a change, usually he’s chasing her. She says she really needed someone to talk to and she shows him the diamonds.

Naomi tells Hayden she needs to get out of Windemere and Port Charles, and away from Elizabeth. Hayden sees the box from Greece.

Finn talks to his dead wife. He thinks he’s close to an answer. He leaves his office and leaves the small recorder he’s been using on the desk. Obrecht comes in and starts looking over his paperwork.

Kristina can’t find her phone and Molly apologizes for tossing it into the bushes. They’re having dinner at the MetroCourt and Alexis enters. Molly set things up because she wants Kristina to make her peace with Alexis.

Elizabeth explains how she got the diamonds. She thinks everything washed ashore after Nicholas died. She also tells Franco about Ava, and how she said that she and Nicholas bonded. She says Ava claimed to want the boot for something to remember him by. Franco says Ava doesn’t have a sympathetic bone in her body and a boot is hardly a memento. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know what to do with the diamonds. Franco suggests giving them to Laura or Spencer (really? although Spencer might actually be the most mature of the bunch), but Elizabeth says Nicholas stole them from Hayden. Here’s what I think. Nicholas is still alive and sent those diamonds back to Windemere or had someone else do it. First of all, that boot didn’t look like it had been soaked and secondly, I doubt the pouch of diamonds would have never stayed inside of it.

Hayden realizes that it’s Nicholas’s stuff in the box. Naomi suggests searching through it for the diamonds.

Finn asks Obrecht what she’s doing. She asks what he’s doing. He grabs his research and she says she’s already seen it and it explains why he was sneaking around on Sonny’s plane, because he’s dealing with dangerous drugs. She thinks he and Sonny are in cahoots to sell something on the black market and she’s going to report it to the authorities.

Lulu tells Dante about the IVF procedure. They figure she’ll be pregnant in October. Dr. Lee calls and Lulu asks if her ears were burning. Dr. Lee has bad news.

Molly says she tricked Alexis too. Alexis says she’d love Kristina to stay, but if not, she’ll leave. A reporter comes up to Alexis asking her about her suspension. Thanks, dooood.

Elizabeth tells Franco that the diamonds had been a necklace and when the government seized Raymond Berlin’s assets, it shoud have been with them, but Hayden had it broken down and hid it. Franco says those diamonds could pay for all of her kids’ college educations.

Alexis tells the reporter that if he doesn’t get lost, she’s calling security. He backs off and Molly asks if what he said was true. Alexis tells her yes, she’s suspended for a year, but she was waiting to tell them. She says it’s a cautionary tale on how not to define yourself by your career. Kristina says it’s her fault for wishing it.

Finn tells Obrecht to start with the FDA, who he’s working with on infectious diseases. Obrecht says she should talk to Valerie about it.

Naomi says there are no diamonds in the box. Hayden is hugging Nicholas’s blazer and Naomi apologizes for being insensitive. Hayden says Nicholas could have hidden the diamonds anywhere, but most likely they were on him and are gone forever. Naomi says all the more reason to start her life somewhere else, since there’s nothing there for her. Hayden says she’s starting to think there might be.

Elizabeth says as much as she hates Hayden, she doesn’t want to make a decision based on bad motivation . Franco says whatever happens to Hayden is her fault. Elizabeth says she’ll turn them in then, and let the chips fall where they may. Franco asks why she would come to him with a moral dilemma.

Finn asks what happened with Valerie. Obrecht says he must know, since he was the perpetrator. Finn tells her to do her worst. Oooh! She swipes his recorder as she leaves.

Naomi tells Hayden that Finn is an addict and she shouldn’t feel badly just because her father squandered his research money. Hayden says that Finn has a disease. Naomi thinks Hayden is gullible when it comes to men because of her father. Hayden says she couldn’t pick her father, but Naomi picked her husband. She walks out and Naomi’s phone rings. It’s Heather.

Elizabeth says she wanted to talk things out with someone who wouldn’t judge her. Franco says he can’t do this anymore. He says she knows how he feels about her and it’s time she either like him back or don’t. He wants her to decide now.

Kristina says she was just mad about Parker. Alexis says she knows Kristina didn’t mean it and the only one at fault for the suspension is her. She says she let her judgement get clouded and she’s sorry. Molly and Kristina tell her they love her.

Dante gets off the phone. Lulu asks how this could have happened. I don’t even get what happened, but the outcome is that Lulu can’t have another baby. She cries in Dante’s arms. Lulu says the embryo tested viable when Obrecht (red flag) returned it and she can’t figure out what went wrong. Dante says it could have been anything and they’re closer than ever.

Alexis says she wasn’t thinking clearly and shouldn’t have interfered with Kristina and Parker, and apologizes. Kristina says that’s all she wanted and ultimately Alexis was right. Alexis gives Kristina her phone. She says Aaron found it and returned it to her. Kristina tells Alexis how the phone got lost and sees that Parker called her back.

Heather wants to see Naomi right away. Naomi isn’t happy, but says she’ll be there.

Hayden comes to Finn’s office, saying that the cactus is still alive and well. She tells him what her mother said about her having nothing in Port Charles and wonders if she’s wrong. Finn says she’s right; Hayden should get away from there and him. He says this is about her and her pinning her future on another man.

Elizabeth tells Franco she was raped. He tells her he’s sorry and she says it was a long time ago. She says even though she recovered, it changed her forever. Franco says she’s endured too much, and he realizes no matter how he’s changed, she’ll believe that he’s someone who’s capable of hurting her. He says he can’t do the back and forth dance anymore and asks her to leave.

Hayden asks why Finn is talking to her this way. He says she wanted him to beg her to stay. She says, no, but it would be nice if he said he’d miss her if she left. He says she doesn’t need justification from a man. He says he’s no prince and has no interest in being the next man she uses to define herself. She’s surprised that’s what he thinks of her. He says she’s beautiful, smart and funny, and if she stays, she should stay for a better reason, but if she leaves, go find someone who isn’t going to die on her. She tells him she wants nothing from him and to go to hell.

Alone, Finn tells his dead wife he did it for Hayden’s own good, so why does he feel badly? He can’t find his recorder because Obrecht is listening to it.

Franco says it’s too painful for this to continue. Elizabeth says she can’t shake Jake telling her that Franco makes her happy. He says he’s perceptive, but it has to be something she wants and he can’t keep going back and forth. Elizabeth says it’s on her and she came to him with an ethical dilemma because she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. Franco says she’s right. He’s probably always going to say or do inappropriate things, but he’d never intentionally hurt her. She says she believes him and they kiss. I get a little teary. Even though I’m no fan of Elizabeth’s, it’s nice to see Franco get what he wants.

Lulu asks Dante what if they still have a chance. She says there’s still an embryo that Stavros stole and what if it’s still out there? Dante says no way it survived the explosion.

Molly tells Kristina not to read too much into it because Parker didn’t leave a message. What if it was a butt dial? The girls go back and forth. Alexis says it appears nothing has changed. She says it didn’t take much persuasion for Parker to walk away. Kristina asks if Alexis would have preferred Parker try to kill her like what happened with her and Julian. We see the reporter recording everything as they argue. Kristina leaves the table and Alexis grabs her and tells her to stop being so self-involved and grow up.

Dante tells Lulu to remember what they have and stay positive. He adds that Spencer lost his father and there are lots of kids around for them to love.

Obrecht listens to Finn’s recording. He walks into her office and catches her. He asks how much she heard and she says more than enough. He tells her if she makes a move against him he’ll kill her with his bare hands.

Hayden asks Naomi to make her a drink. Naomi asks if it’s a celebration. Hayden says she’s starting over whether its there or someone else and she’ll teach the doubters how wrong they are. They drink to the future.

Franco asks Elizabeth if she’s sure this is what she wants. They start to get busy and there’s a bugle call. It’s a phone reminder for Elizabeth to pick up the boys. She tells Franco maybe he wants to think it over. She’s a single mom with three boys and this is what her life is like. He says maybe she wants to get a babysitter again and they can have a real date. She says she wants to take her time, but she is going to see him again. They kiss.

Kristina yells at Alexis to let go of her. Alexis says she’s sorry and Kristina says every time Alexis says it, she believes it less. She walks out. Molly tells Alexis that Kristina is an adult and she can’t control her the same way she couldn’t control Julian, and look what that got her. Molly asks if she can afford to lose anything else.

Tomorrow, Sonny thinks Jason isn’t telling him something, Kristina visits Parker, and Jordan shows Alexis the reporter’s video.

Little Women: LA

Kerwin and Tonya go bike riding. Tonya is trying to whip him back into shape. She’s having a Western style barbecue to welcome Kerwin to LA. She’s unsure about inviting Terra since they haven’t been getting along. She brings up how Terra won’t let the lotus flower logo discussion die. She doesn’t want to argue while Terra is pregnant. Kerwin thinks they should resolve things right away.

Christy and Todd are walking in the park. They sit at a picnic table and Todd says he’s been considering looking for his birth parents. He was adopted as a baby and now that he’s older, wants to know more about his medical history. It was a closed adoption, which throws a wrench into things.

Joe and Terra go vegetable picking, along with Jasmine and Chris. Since both of the girls are pregnant, they’re trying to eat more healthfully. Terra asks Jasmine if she’d prefer an average sized child or a little one. Jasmine says because of her own health issues, and average sized child might be preferable. She talks about her hair loss problem and how she was made fun of for that as well. She says it took her a long time to accept herself as a little person. Terra says she thinks every little person goes through a time of wishing they were otherwise.

While they’re paying for the vegetables, Jasmine talks to Terra about her meeting with Tonya. She says Tonya was really hurt by Terra’s comments about her logo. Terra thinks she’s the only one being honest and she doesn’t want Tonya to fail. She says that Tonya clearly talked about this with Christy and she’s not too happy about that either. Jasmine asks if she’s going to Tonya’s party, but so far, she hasn’t been invited.

Briana tells Matt that the doctor has said her fluid is too high, and it can cause premature birth. She says she had no problem with having her daughter, but with this pregnancy, she’s been in and out of the hospital. Matt asks who he should call when the baby comes. Briana says a group text is fine, but leave out Christy. She’s done with the friendship. She’s trying to build a relationship with Matt and doesn’t want Christy getting in the way.

Todd is going to talk to his adoptive father about finding his birth father. Christy hopes he’ll be supportive. His father is understanding. Todd tells him that Christy was nervous that he’d be upset, but he just laughs. Todd says he also wants to thank his birth parents for giving him great adoptive parents. His father says Todd was a lot of fun to raise.

Terra meets with Tonya’s daughter, Angelique. She tells Angelique that she and Tonya have been on the outs and she wants to make things right. Angelique says Tonya thinks Terra is crapping on her, but Terra says that’s not her intention. Terra asks for an invite to the party and Angelique tells her that she’s inviting her. Terra asks what Kerwin thinks, but Angelique hasn’t discussed it with him and thinks Tonya is settling as far as her relationship with him goes.

Tonya needs to let out some frustration, so she goes to the gym and does a boxing class. Angelique is with her and she asks if Tonya invited Terra to the party. Tonya says they haven’t been talking. Angelique doesn’t think that’s right and Tonya says, you invite her then. Angelique says she already did and tells Tonya about the meeting, which annoys her. Angelique says Terra wasn’t trying to hurt her, but Tonya won’t listen to any more.

Briana and Terra go baby shopping and discuss their pregnancies and surgeries. Briana talks about being unable to thrive when she was a baby and being underdeveloped. Terra says she didn’t walk until 14 months, but at 15 months, Penny still isn’t. Briana thinks once Penny has a little brother or sister, she’ll move ahead because she’ll want to keep up.

Briana asks about the rift with Tonya and Terra tells her about the meeting with Angelique, and how Angelique invited her to the party. She says Tonya won’t even answer her texts. In her interview, Terra talks about Tonya being her family when she moved to LA and she can’t believe she wasn’t even invited to the party. She tells Briana that she’s going and she’s not leaving until Tonya talks to her. Well, we all know how uninvited guests go on a reality show and it’s never pretty.

Tonya is getting ready for the party. She’s miffed about Angelique inviting Terra. The party venue is a pseudo ranch, with picnic tables and various animals in open stalls. In her interview, Jasmine says the last time they wore cowboy hats, the night ended with police reports. Christy shows up and Briana barely acknowledges her. Tonya is nearly as rude when Terra shows up.

Tonya thanks everyone for coming and says she planned this for the love of her life, Kerwin. Jasmine asks how Terra is feeling and she says awkward. She tells Elena and Jasmine that Tonya didn’t invite her, even though she knows Kerwin well. She thinks Tonya is purposely sharing things with Christy to get under her skin. Elena says she’s just making an assumption. Terra says regardless, she doesn’t want Christy knowing her business. She says she’s not leaving until they talk it out.

It’s time for the mechanical bull. Kerwin lasts about ten seconds, although none of the other guys do much better. Tonya does pretty well, but it wasn’t too speedy for her. The food is next and it looks damn good. Wise to do the eating after the bull riding. Terra and Joe are sitting by themselves and discuss Christy and Todd. Joe says he wants to talk to Tonya. When Terra says if she talks to him, she’ll be upset since Tonya isn’t talking to her, Joe asks if she gets along with anybody.

Christy gets weepy about Briana. Um…this is not the place. Uh-oh, here’s comes a guy who looks like a process server. He’s the attorney for Julie, Briana’s ex-publicist. He says she’s in default of a signed agreement and she has thirty days to rectify it. Matt is sure Christy told him where Briana was going to be. He says it shows how classy they both are. In her interview, Briana says that’s the only way Julie could have known where she was.

Terra asks what’s up and Briana tells her, and says that Christy must have been involved. In her interview, Terra says she never thought she’d say this, but Christy is making Matt look good. Joe asks Terra what’s going on, but Terra says until the news is out, she’s not saying anything.

A guy comes out to give lasso lessons. Terra manages to rope the guy instead of the fake cow. Terra asks to talk to Tonya. She doesn’t want the fight over the activewear to destroy their friendship. Tonya says some of what Terra told her was constructive criticism, but she said she doesn’t see Tonya as a face of fitness. She says it’s her vision, not Terra’s. Terra moves to Tonya inviting Christy and Tonya counters with Terra meeting with Angelique to get an invite. Elena comes over and asks if everything is okay. She tells Tonya that Terra was hurt about not being invited and that she doesn’t see a future for the activewear line either. Tonya says Jasmine hasn’t even seen it and she doesn’t care what either one of them thinks anyway. Party over.

Next time, more fitness, Briana discusses Christy with Matt who accuses Christy of being on drugs, Tonya confronts Angelique about what she said about Kerwin.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda goes to The Countess’s room. The Countess tells her the bad news about Tom. Jules joins them and The Countess goes to Bethenny’s room and asks to see the picture. Bethenny gives The Countess her phone. Yep, that’s Tom making out with someone at The Regency bar. Bethenny tells her that he was making out with this girl for an hour and he was very drunk, even leaving her with the tab. The Countess runs to the bathroom.

The Countess tells Dorinda and Jules. Dorinda is shocked that it happened and also that Bethenny chose to tell The Countess just before they’re leaving Miami. Dorinda asks if she’s sure about the date and tells her to get all the facts first. I totally get why Bethenny did this just before they left. She didn’t want to ruin the trip, but she wanted The Countess to know before she went back to the city.

Sonja, Carole and Ramona go to Bethenny’s room where she’s hiding under the blanket. Ramona tells her not to blame herself and that it’s already all over NYC and this wasn’t the first time. Ramona says she wishes someone had prepared her before she found out about Mario on Page Six of the Post. Bethenny says she and The Countess aren’t that close and she hated to be the one to tell her. Ramona says better her than The Countess finding out through the press. Bethenny orders Sonja to get her some alcohol, stat.

Dorinda encourages The Countess to call Tom. She says The Countess will get through it one way or another.

Bethenny says she didn’t want things to be gossipy. The Countess knocks on her door and she asks the others to leave. The Countess claims she was with Tom on the day in question, so this isn’t possible. Bethenny, between a million apologies, tells her she talked to the manager there, trying to do a CSI before anything was said. In her interview, Bethenny says if you’re going to drop a bomb, you have to be ready to answer follow-up questions. Bethenny suggests The Countess needs to have her info lined up before she talks to Tom. The Countess asks if Bethenny knew when they got there and she says she did. The Countess gets a text from Tom saying he’ll call her later.

Bethenny says she knows The Countess loves Tom, but she’s not so sure she’d trust him. The Countess says she knows Tom loves her, but he was probably drunk. In her interview, Bethenny says The Countess should run and that the whole thing happened too fast. The Countess asks how Bethenny could keep it to herself. She says she spoke to Carole, but only because she had to tell someone.

The rest of the girls discuss. Sonja wonders why everyone is so surprised.

The Countess says she’s not going to let this ruin her marriage. Bethenny gives her the time frame and the phone rings. Bethenny tells The Countess to use her bathroom. Apparently, Tom says he has no recollection of anything. The Countess keeps telling him she saw the picture and asking how he could do this, especially in public. She finds out that after he left her, he went out. He tries to make it sound like it was just a kiss, but The Countess says it was going on for over an hour. He claims it will never happen again, but she says how can she know that? Bethenny wishes she could disappear and not hear all this. The Countess says she can’t do this right now and walks back to her room.

The Countess tells the other girls that she needs to handle things. She doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Ramona is crying and tells her they’ll work it out. In her interview, Sonja says The Countess doesn’t want to deal with reality because she just wants ot get married. Yep. The Countess tells Dorinda she doesn’t want to talk about it and proceeds to talk about it. Dorinda says she didn’t know this side of Tom. She says he has to make it right because they’re all too old for this. The Countess demands a Bloody Mary and calls for Bethenny. She’s pretty distressed that everyone and their mother knows.

Bethenny – oh, I got distracted by The Countess’s ultra cool sunglasses – tells The Countess this is why she asked her if they were monogamous. She thought maybe they had an arrangement. She gives The Countess some straight vodka. The Countess agrees that she would rather know now. Carole says saying he doesn’t remember is the oldest line in the book. The Countess goes to pack.

Carole tells Bethenny that The Countess is in total shock. Ramona says if he’s doing this now, it’s not going to stop.

Back in the city, The Countess checks into a hotel. She says she needs to wrap her head around this. She and Tom are meeting the next day and she needs to make a conscious decision about things. She calls Jules, since she can’t get ahold of Dorinda. She asks if it’s too early to start drinking. In her interview, The Countess begins to justify Tom’s actions.

Dorinda is sick and Ramona comes over bearing chicken soup. Ramona says The Countess doesn’t want to deal with pain, so she sweeps things under the rug. That’s an understatement.

Carole visits Bethenny. Bethenny says she’s reached out to The Countess several times, but she’s not texting back. She wonders if she’s the bad guy now. She tells Carole about The Countess telling Tom how dare he do this publicly, and focusing on what things looked like, rather than the actual problem.

Dorinda tells Ramona that The Countess called her from The Regency and handed the phone over to Tom. She says Tom wants to bring waiters to Dorinda’s to “explain” things and have Dorinda be the messenger to the other girls. When she said no, he told her if she didn’t do it, she’s not invited to the wedding and not allowed to be friends with The Countess anymore and hung up on her. Are we five? Is he Dorinda’s father? What’s up with that? Tell you what, if someone I was engaged to said something like that, we’d be done. What a d-bag, tool, and whatever other crappy word comes to mind.

Ramona calls Tom an a-hole, saying he should just admit what he did and apologize. Dorinda says there’s no getting away from the pictures. Ramona says this isn’t the first time and it’s not going to be the last. She says they haven’t even gotten to know one another and you can’t base a relationship on lies.

Bethenny tells Carole that Tom wanted Dorinda to “take a bullet” for him. Bethenny is also having a party and wonders if Tom is going to be there and how awkward that might be.

The Countess tells us that she and Tom talked and he’s devastated. She says the kiss meant nothing. They’d had an argument and Tom went to The Regency and “fell into the girl’s clutches.” Please, please and please. And why didn’t we hear about this argument earlier? She says she’s not going to let a silly kiss ruin her life. She calls Jules and asks if she can go to the party with her. All of a sudden she wants to confront Bethenny about her detective work and why she’s so curious about Tom. Um…somebody else sent her the picture and brought this into her life.

The venue where Bethenny is having her fiesta looks awesome. There’s a photo booth with props and a Margarita pinata with 10K worth of both fine and good costume jewelry in it. I want to go to one of Bethenny’s parties. Adam has a new short haircut that’s a hit with the ladies. Bethenny says Carole and Adam are the only ones who really seem like their relationship is a good one. When The Countess arrives, she says she’s working on things. In her interview, Bethenny says The Countess and Tom are already out and about partying and The Countess has low self-esteem. She says you have to love yourself in order to not get taken advantage of.

Sonja has been set up with Rocco. She says he has good qualifications, but she doesn’t know if he’s the boyfriend for her yet. She says The Countess has been keeping her distance, since she doesn’t even want to deal with the first issue of Sonja having dated Tom.

Here comes John with Dorinda. We haven’t seen him in a while. He and Bethenny have come to a truce. I don’t even hear what Bethenny says because I’m concentrating on the pinata, but The Countess comes flying over, saying if Bethenny doesn’t stop talking about her, she’s leaving. Okay, I know she didn’t say anything about The Countess. Bethenny says if she wants to leave, fine, but they were talking about the pinata. In her interview, Carole says Tom should have been the pinata. The Countess says don’t talk about Tom, but Bethenny says they weren’t talking about him either.

Ramona says she couldn’t sleep and The Countess tells her to shut up about Tom. Ramona says she was thinking about Mario. The Countess says she and Tom are in therapy and in her interview, Ramona wonders if they’re doing therapy at the bar. She doesn’t understand why The Countess wants to “succumb” to this kind of relationship.

Jules has an eighth anniversary coming up. She says the number eight is lucky in the Asian culture and is hoping that it brings them good fortune. D’oh!

Dorinda wants an apology fir being dragged into the Countess/Tom thing, but says the party isn’t he place to discuss it. Thank you. The Countess talks to Adam and Carole and manages not to breath fire. Jules tells Bethenny that Dorinda told her she should stand up for herself and that Bethenny said she’s like a sick patient. Bethenny calls over Dorinda, who says she doesn’t remember what she said and Bethenny says she’d better remember something. Geez. Dorinda says Bethenny said Jules reminds her of her mother and can’t be around her. Bethenny says she’s allowed to have a perspective and feelings.

Dorinda tells Ramona she’s sweating bullets and Ramona blots her pit with a bar napkin. Eww! Bethenny tells Jules she loves her, but doesn’t apologize. Everyone does the photo booth thing and Jules puts a giant cardboard watermelon slice on her head. Personally, I like Carole’s choice of teeny tiny sombrero.

Bethenny tells The Countess she heard The Countess was angry with her. The Countess wonders why Bethenny had so many details. She tells Bethenny to stay out of her life with Tom and what happened means nothing. Bethenny says she shouldn’t have told her and if she sees him screwing someone on the street, she’ll keep her mouth shut. The Countess says she and Tom love each other and Bethenny says she could tell by the way he acted two weeks into the engagement. The Countess says Tom made a mistake, she’s a grown woman and will make her own decisions. She leaves. In her interview she says she just wants to be with Tom and be in her own bubble. Exactly. Finally, a word of truth from this woman.

It’s pinata time! The only rule is that no one can get two pieces of the fine jewelry. The girls rip the pinata apart. Dorinda gets a diamond martini glass. Ramona loses her shoe in the frey.

Since it’s the finale, we get some parting words about each of the women. Sonja has had three dates with Rocco; Jules is in the process of divorce; John and Dorinda are still dating, but not living together; Carole and Adam are still together, but the cookbook is on the back burner; Ramona is still dating, but making sure none of them have dated her friends: The Countess’s wedding is still on; Bethenny is finally done with her divorce – no more bleeding financially or otherwise.

Bethenny makes a toast to the empowerment of women and says they’re all still standing.

Next time – The Reunion part one.

My favorite exchange this season – The Countess: Don’t let it be about Tom. Bethenny: It’s about Tom.