Tag Archives: The Real Housewives

September 25, 2016 – Storybrooke is Back, Travis & Chris Part Ways, & New Jersey Goes to Vermont

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Like Willy Wonka, I am striking that and reversing it on Sunday nights, and it’s zombies before Wives. Now that Once Upon a Time is back, I had to switch my TV viewing sequence around.

Once Upon a Time

We are in an Arabian kingdom, flying carpets and all. A man says the kingdom is in great danger and they need a savior, but the savior is not seeing anyone today. The man is persistent and Jafar pops out and turns him into dust, along with the woman who was fielding the savior’s visitors. Jafar tells the savior that when they met, he was a common thief, and the fate of saviors is to give, breaking off their branches until all that’s left is a shaky stump. He says you never hear the words “happily ever after” about a savior. It’s Aladdin he’s talking to and he tells him to take care.

Hook and Emma are making out on the couch. The earth moves, but not in a good way. They go outside and see a ship floating through the air – awesome! It’s a dirigible from The Land of Untold Stories. Hyde appears, tells everyone that it’s his and that The Dark One gave him the town.

Regina and Emma zap Hyde, but he just laughs. He says nothing is more dangerous than an untold story and the people who don’t want them told. The dirigible crashes in the forest.

Emma and the others check it out. Snow says it looks like the people inside ran. Jekyll says he may be able to salvage a weapon to take down the stranger. Emma has a vision about fighting someone. Hook asks her what’s up, but she says nothing.

Rumple looks for Hyde. He’s exchanged the keys to Storybrooke for the answer to waking Belle. Hyde has told him in the Temple of Morpheus there are sands that will allow him to walk in Belle’s dreams and he can wake her from there. Rumple uses the sand and meets Morpheus in the forest. He tells Rumple welcome to Belle’s dream world and asks if he’d like to wake her up.

Regina visits Zelena and tells her what happened with Hyde. Zelena suggests barbecuing Hyde and puts her daughter down for a nap. Regina says nothing is working and they need to plan. Zelena has an arrow feather from Robin for her, but can’t find it. Regina puts a protection spell over the house and the vault.

Snow tells Regina that Jekyll finished his weapon, so they might not have to worry about protection. Regina tells Snow about Zelena forgetting where she put the feather, which she thinks is odd behavior. She decides to forget about it for now, since heroism comes first.

Hyde is holed up at the town hall. Regina pretends to have Jekyll prisoner to lure him outside. She tells Hyde to leave town and Jekyll is his. He suggests she keep both Jekyll and Storybrooke, and not embarrass herself. She distracts him while Emma aims Jekyll’s weapon, which looks like a small mortar, but she has another vision. She starts to shake and Regina almost gets strangled by Hyde. Emma finally shoots and Hyde becomes their prisoner. He tells Emma that he knows more than she does, and if she wants to know what’s happening to her, she knows where to find him.

Emma is all weird and shaky, while she’s messing around the dirigible. Archie (otherwise known as Jiminy Cricket) and Pongo come by with coffee. Emma says her parents must have sent him and she’s not in the mood for therapy right now. He says she’s been fighting forever and now that the walls are down, it’s let in collateral damage. He says there are no short cuts to fixing the big problems.

Emma goes to see Hyde. He calls her a smart girl, and she says keep calling her girl and he’ll find out how smart she is. He wants her to take off the cuffs. He says prisoners respond to carrots and sticks and she has neither. She starts to leave and he says he knows about the battle in her mind’s eye. She tells him that she’s been in prison and the worst part was being alone. She says she knows how he feels, and he can spill the beans or stay lonely. He can sit there in silence and rot. Hyde says she did come with a stick after all and it’s impressive except for one small thing – she’s afraid of him. He tells her he brought someone to help her with her problem, and to follow the red bird. He wonders if she’s ready for her story though.

I swear Rumple just said Belle is dreaming about White Castle, but I guess he said the white castle. He and Morpheus go into the castle and Belle acts like a servant. Morpheus tells Rumple that’s how she sees herself in her dream and he’s a beast. Morpheus sets up a giant hourglass timer. He says if Rumple doesn’t wake Belle in an hour, she’ll end up with a fiery fate. Rumple says he’ll make her fall in love with him again.

Morpheus says the castle terrifies Belle, but Rumple says it’s also where they fell in love. He says his love for her and their child will never be a lie. Belle brings tea and Rumple comes out in full Rumple regalia. Belle is all nervous and drops a cup, but he says everything is cool and maybe she should take a break. She asks him what’s going on. He says he has a ball to attend later and he asks her to dance. They dance to the music from Beauty and the Beast. He says there’s one more thing they need and he zaps the yellow ballgown onto her. She asks what’s come over him, and he says maybe he’s tired of being a beast. Very nice scene.

Zelena comes to Regina’s house and asks her if she got Hyde. Regina says yes, but it’s the first time she’s been back since Robin died. She asks Zelena to go. Zelena says they should be helping each other, but Regina says not this time because she blames Zelena. Zelena says what about Emma, who dragged her to hell? Regina says she chose to go, but she trusted Zelena, and Robin’s soul was destroyed. Zelena says Regina ripped out the part of her that made them most alike. Zelena says she and the baby will be gone by tonight, and she disappears poof! in a puff of green smoke.

Snow and the gang look for the people from the dirigible. Snow can tell that they’re afraid. She calls to them, saying Hyde is locked up and they want to help. They see shadows of people with torches come out of the forest. Snow tells them they’ll be at Granny’s where there’s food and shelter for them.

Emma walks through the forest with Hook and sees the red bird. She asks him to go and he knows something is up, but leaves. Emma follows the red bird. She sees a girl who says the bird is her pet. She says she knows many things, including why Emma is there. She says the visions tell a story of her future.

Regina is doing a locator spell when Henry walks in. She’s trying to find the feather and Henry says it’s not working because it’s looking for Robin and he’s gone. Regina says Hades told her that Robin’s soul was destroyed, but Henry believes that he’s in a special place.

Belle and Rumple dance. She says it’s a shame he’s been alone for so long and he says he wasn’t always alone; there was a son who left because he saw the darkness. Rumple says he had a chance to change but was too frightened. Belle asks if he could change now, would he? He says for her, he would be the best man he could be. They kiss.

All of the memories come flooding back. Belle says they’ve done this before and she can’t do this again. He explains they fell in love and got married and now their child is in danger. She put herself to sleep, but he needs her to wake up now. She says she loves him and believes he loves her, but together they cause heartbreak. Morpheus pops in and says he had to be sure Belle wouldn’t fall for Rumple’s lies again. Now he can wake her up with true loves kiss. She says she doesn’t know him and he says she’s known him since the day he was conceived. He’s their son and it’s his dream too. He says don’t let Rumple destroy them like he did his lost family.

Morpheus gives Belle a kiss on the forehead and she wakes up. Belle tells Rumple that their son was testing her, pretending to be Morpheus. Rumple says they can discuss it at home and makes sparkly, blue swirly things in the mirror. Belle says her son gave her a warning and she’s going to listen, and walks into the mirror.

The girl says she’s called an oracle, but knowing the future is a heavy burden. Emma sees herself battling a hooded figure. The Storybrooke crew are running toward them as Emma’s sword gets knocked from her hand. She tells the hooded figure she’s not going to let them get hurt. Her hand starts to shake and he runs his sword through her. The oracle says this is just a small piece of her end story. She can change the destination, but the result will be the same. She’ll die in the battle she saw. Since no one really dies on this show, I wouldn’t be too worried.

Emma goes back to Hyde. She asks him what’s coming and how to stop it. She says no matter what, she’ll defeat it. He says that’s what saviors always say, but there’s always a villain to bring them down. She has to ask herself if helping others is what causes her story to end.

Emma joins Hook at the bar. He says she’s in a better mood, and she tells him it was just stress, and Archie helped her. He asks if she’s sure and she says she is, and joins him in having a drink.

Snow tells Regina it will work out. Snow takes Regina’s hand and Regina says she was an awful stepmother. Snow says that’s in the past. Regina asks how she held up during those terrible times. She says the only way she could stay alive was to never give up and Regina is the one who taught her that hope is a choice. Regina says Hades was wrong; Robin is at peace. She’s been thinking about how the people with untold stories were hiding, and she says that’s exactly what she used to do. Her life had stopped. The only story she heard was the one she told herself, that she was the evil queen. She forgot the most important thing, that life isn’t just one story, there’s many. To some, she’s a villain, but to others, she’s a hero. They see her strength and ability to do right, even when she thought she couldn’t. She’s going to start a new story and chooses to believe this story will have a better ending.than the last one.

They walk off together, and we see a feather drop to the ground.

The untold story people are at Granny’s getting clothing and food. Belle looks out from inside Mr. Gold’s shop. Emma is looking mighty shaky.

Zelena comes home and sees Regina. No, it’s the Evil Queen. She tells Zelena that all she ever wanted was a sister, and when she got her wish, it was the wrong one. Zelena is shocked the Evil Queen is alive and she says she can’t be gotten rid of that easily. The Evil Queen suggest they have a drink and that it’s time for some sisterly bonding.

This season, the secret of the savior is revealed, Cinderella joins the team, and the Evil Queen and Zelena join forces.

Fear the Walking Dead

A crowd of people beg to come into the hotel. Alicia says it’s a mistake, they don’t have anything. Madison says sorry. The people grab at the gate. There is shouting and crying. Madison sees Travis among them.

Poor Mr Spanish Guy lies dead with Chris standing over him. Baby James is still alive. Travis takes charge and says he’s going to try and stitch up the wound. He runs to the house to look for whatever he can find, rifling through drawers. Surprisingly, he’s quite good at stitching, even though Baby James is twitching and whining the whole time. Now he has to do the exit wound. He says after he does that, they won’t move him until he’s better and Baby James finally shuts up. He ain’t called Baby for nothin’. I’m very impressed at both Travis’s cool and his skills.

Travis buries Mr. Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is with his family. Suarez! It’s Suarez. Now that he’s in the ground, I have his name. Travis is working on some kind of adrenaline because he’s just flying through all this.

The guys cook a chicken for dinner. Travis asks Baby James how he’s doing. His pain is only level 3 or 4, so he’s doing pretty well. Travis says he can’t help him if he doesn’t know what’s going on, so if anything gets worse, let him know. Travis asks Chris to talk. He tells Chris he killed a man today, and the least he could do is let it affect his appetite. Travis wants to know what he’s thinking. Chris says the guy shot his friend, what was he supposed to do? Travis says they’re savages. Chris says this is how it works now – no more good or bad, no right or wrong, it’s kill or be killed, sorrynotsorry. He tells Travis how he would hide every recess in middle-school and Travis told him to play along and fit in. Travis says the operative phrase was play along. Chris says Travis has proved his worth, and be careful how he plays it because they need theses guys .Travis says he doesn’t need them, but Chris says he does.

Madison tells them to open the gate for Travis. They manage to get Travis through a small opening while keeping the others out. He and Madison cling to each other.

Travis looks out from a balcony. Madison asks if he wants a shower, but he says no. You sure about that? She asks if he wants food and he says he doesn’t need anything. He asks where Victor is, and she says he ran off, possibly to Tijuana. She asks about Chris. Travis gets a weird look on his face and goes inside. He tells her he had no choice and she asks where Chris is.

We go back to earlier. The chickens have run out, so it’s moving day. Baby James claims his pain is at zero, but Travis is skeptical. The guys want to go to San Diego. Travis repeats that it’s burned and Chris says they never actually saw that. The guys all insist on leaving, but frankly, I think James looks scared.

Travis looks at Mr. Suarez’s grave and then goes inside the house .He looks at all the family pictures on the walls. Damn. And I thought I had a lot of photos. He finds Mr Suarez’s license and makes a grave marker using the info. Like this means anything. Chris says they’re leaving, and Travis says too bad, he’s finishing this.

Travis joins the rest and they slide Baby James into the bed of the truck. He doesn’t sound like his pain is a zero. Travis rides in the back with Baby James and Chris. They start off and already James isn’t looking too good. Travis checks his pulse and tells them if they don’t stop, Baby James is going to die. He barely has a pulse. They go back.

Travis hears Chris talking with the others. Travis tells them they need to give Baby James more time. He says they can survive there for enough time for James to heal. He tells them Baby James is scared of them, and he’s starting to get why. Travis grabs Chris’s gun. One of the guys says he doesn’t have the balls to use it and Travis shoots close. The guy jumps up, brandishing his own gun. Chris asks why Travis is doing this and he says he’s doing it for him.

Travis tends to Baby James. He tells him his buddies want to put him down. Baby James asks why Travis thinks he agreed to get in the truck? He tells Travis about another friend, Troy. He was sick and they knew he was going to turn, and kept their promise to kill him if he did. He says when the time came, he begged them not to do it. Baby James ended up doing the dirty work. Travis says it’s all the same no matter where they go, just different people. He tells Baby James he’s not sick or dying, he just needs time. Baby James says it doesn’t matter, what matters is they think he is and he’s considered dead weight. Travis fingers the gun.

James sleeps while Travis guards him. Chris knocks at the barn door, saying he wants to talk and brought food. Travis tells him to set it down and frisks him. He says the others are down the road. Travis tells him to sit down. Chris says he gets it and Travis asks what he gets. Chris says he understands why Travis is trying to save people, because life matters. Chris says they’ve known Baby James since he was six and still want to kill him, so imagine what they might do to him. I wouldn’t trust this kid as far as I could throw him.

Yep. Travis is caught off-guard and Chris gets the better of him and lets the others in. Baby James begs for his life and Travis says don’t do it. Too late. Baby James is dead. I knew Chris was faking it – playing along. Travis is seriously bummed. Chris has his gun back and they guys pack the truck up again. Travis wants to talk to Chris. He tells Chris the name of the farmer and says he was born on Chris’s birthday. He tells Chris that this is forever and he’s barely 16. If he drives away, Travis will never find him. Chris tells him that his way doesn’t work. Travis promises to take care of him. Chris says by letting him go, he is. He says he’s adapting and better off without Travis. He says Travis found it in him to kill Chris’s zombified mother. Travis says there’s a difference and Chris says, no, there’s not, so that settles it. As they drive away, Travis begs Chris not to go. Then curses him out. I’ll bet we see Chris and the bros somewhere down the line again. Travis starts to walk.

Travis tells Madison he walked for two days and saw the hotel light, and what are the chances? He’s bummed about leaving Chris, but Madison tells him they’ll get through this. He says he failed his son and his wife. He goes back out on the balcony. Madison says he said it himself, there was no choice. Travis says he could have gone along with it. It would have been wrong, but he would have done right by Chris. Madison says he’s still out there. Travis says he was wrong when Chris threatened Alicia, and they should be parents first. Madison did what she was supposed to, but his priority should have been Chris. He says the whole time he was walking, he thought about how he should have told Chris he loved him. Instead, the last thing he said was “God damn you.” He says when Chris was a boy, he had a big heart, but by the time Madison met him, he was angry. Travis says he allowed Chris to become that way. He says they’re living minute by minute, and at any time, it could be over. He wishes he had ended things differently. Madison says she has to find Alicia and leaves.

Alicia and Andres are tending to the patients in a makeshift infirmary. Madison asks Alicia to come with her. They go out on the dock. Madison says there’s something Alicia needs to understand and to hear her out. She says it’s about Alicia’s father and his accident, and that it wasn’t an accident. She thought she was doing the right thing by not telling her. Alicia says Madison said he fell asleep at the wheel, and Madison says he didn’t. Alicia asks how she can be certain,  and Madison says he left a note in his glove box. Alicia starts to cry and asks what it said. Madison says it’s not important. He was a man of few words who could be quite precise. Alicia insists. It said, I love you all and enough’s enough.

Alicia asks if Nick knows. Madison says Nick is why she kept it a secret. She says there’s a lot of Alicia’s father in Nick. She lists his positive qualities and says he just couldn’t see it. She asks to hold Alicia’s hand. She says she was afraid of Nick ending up like her father, but she never loved Alicia any less. She just thought Alicia was all right. Alicia says she had to be and Madison apologizes. She hugs Alicia. Alicia says she loves Madison too.

Travis takes a shower. He stands with his forehead on the wall.

Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. A small group comes to the gate . It’s those guys, but I don’t see Chris.

Next time, the 2-hour finale, Travis finds Chris, Victor returns, and there are lots and lots of zombies to make up for this episode.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Love Melissa’s dress in the opening. I’ll bet I’d like the stuff in her store. If I could fit in it.

The end of the last episode repeats. At lunch, Rosie wonders if Teresa never wants to be a family again. Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks her to respect that. She says she wishes them the best. Kathy asks if they can at least come away with a possibility. Teresa says they’re cousins and will always be there for each other as family. She and Joe #2 leave.

Teresa starts to cry and does that fanning thing. She says it’s exhausting. Joe #2 talks about how they were taught to never cry. He tells Teresa if that’s how she feels, that’s how she feels, and she says she feels like she doesn’t want to be around Kathy and Rosie.

Siggy and Dolores visit Jacqueline. They want the skinny on what happened. Jacqueline calls Kathy and Rosie. Kathy says Teresa said she has a lot on her plate and wants to keep her distance right now, but her door is open. Kathy makes like everything went more okay than it was.

Teresa packs for Vermont while Milania does some break dancing. Teresa wants the girls to spend time with their father, since he’ll be going to the pokey away soon.

Joe #2 tells Melissa it’s good of her to plan the trip. He says Teresa was really stressed out by the lunch with Kathy and Rosie, and thinks she could use the break. Melissa wants everyone to just have fun and not worry about anything. Good luck with that. Mutual friends Robyn and Christina are also coming. She tells Joe about how Jacqueline and Teresa seem to be doing better, but thinks Jacqueline still doubts Teresa and is paranoid of Melissa’s friendship with her.

Kim D (who the name Plastic would actually fit) is at her store, Posche. We flash back to the stupid fashion show she had where she tried to “expose” Melissa as a stripper. Or as Melissa says it, “shtripper.” Jacqueline and Siggy come in. Kim gossips about Melissa’s store and says that one of her assistants is selling stories. Jacqueline brings up Teresa selling books for cash at a time when it looked badly for her, and how it was leaked to the press. Siggy talks about how Melissa and Teresa are getting along better, but Kim D will have none of that, saying it’s all an act.

Joe #1 looks at a brochure on vaginal rejuvenation. I don’t want to know. Robyn and Christina arrive with their suitcases, as well a Melissa and Joe #2. The party bus comes with Jacqueline and Chris, and everyone gets on it. Since Joe #1 has been a bad boy, he can’t come. He’s not allowed to leave the state.

They discuss skiing, and who is good at it or not, swapping war stories. Joe #2 has already had enough of all the ladies talking at once. Siggy offers Teresa any help she might need when she’s a “single mother.” Chris says he’s the only one she can count on, and Joe brings up him trying to date Teresa. Chris says she was only interested in Joe #1.

Somehow the lunch comes up. Teresa compares it to breaking up with a guy – you still love him, but there’s nothing there. Robyn talks about actions speaking louder than words, but Dolores says they’re good people. We flash back to an issue Robyn had with Rosie. She says Rosie won’t even acknowledge her. In her interview, Jacqueline calls Robyn one of “Teresa’s soldiers,” and she questions Teresa having changed. Melissa says there seems to be no meeting of the minds, and Jacqueline starts getting loud about the message not having been clear. Melissa thinks she’s trying to push the relationship. Jacqueline says that if Teresa doesn’t want it, she totally gets it, but she needs to make it understood. Joe interjects that they might have gotten the wrong message when she said her door was open. Melissa opens some champagne. In her interview, Dolores says Robyn doesn’t really mesh well with the others.

After eight hours, they finally arrive and go immediately to the bar. They’ve rented a villa, and the suites or whatever are divvied up. Siggy tries on the many hats she’s brought with her.

Dinner time! All the women have their bathrobes on over their clothes. I have no clue why. It’s a family style meal and looks pretty damn good. Melissa announces her fashion show. Teresa thanks everyone for hanging out with her before Joe #1 leaves. Everyone says something positive and they toast. Joe #2 and Chris play shuffleboard (except it’s like a foosball table) and the girls go outside by the fire-pit.

Jacqueline tells Melissa what Kim D said about her assistant Derek and how he’s selling stories. In her interview, Melissa says Kim D is scraping the bottom of the barrel for gossip. She reminds the others about Kim D stirring the pot, trying to out her as the shtripper she never was. We flash back to that, and also a problem that Kim started between Jacqueline and Teresa. Teresa suggests Melissa just check Derek out.

Joe #2 talks to Chris about being glad he was born a man when he hears the girls bitching. Robyn tells Jacqueline she’s confusing and not very direct. She feels that Jacqueline tried to attack her and Jacqueline talks about her being a “loyal soldier” to Teresa. Robyn suggests they bring Teresa into the conversation, and in her interview, Jacqueline wonders why Robyn wants to drag Teresa into it. Um, maybe because you’re talking about her? Robyn asks Jacqueline what her problem is, and she says she wants to rage on Jacqueline’s ass. Jacqueline says bring it on and they tell each other to STFU and do that “no, you” stuff that I find funny coming from adults.

Jacqueline gets up and gets in Robyn’s face. Teresa comes out and asks what’s happening and they continue their argument. In her interview, Teresa says she’s never seen Robyn like this and wouldn’t be surprised if Jacqueline crossed the line. They go inside and Jacqueline keeps it up. Robyn calls her an instigator and Jacqueline tells Teresa she thought she’d cleaned house, but she forgot to take out the garbage. She’s so nasty. Or vicious, as Michael Rapaport would say.

Meanwhile back at Teresa’s house, Milania tries to cook while Joe #1 gives instructions like, don’t burn that. I can tell he’s at the end of his rope already and it’s only early morning.

Jacqueline refuses to come out of her room because she’s five years old. Teresa says she antagonizes the situation (ha-ha – I think she means aggravates) and then plays the victim. Truth! Melissa comes to breakfast in a bizarre ski outfit. Teresa asks Dolores why Jacqueline isn’t coming out and Dolores says she’s bummed. Poor baby.

Jacqueline tells Chris about how Robyn said she wanted her ass, so she sat one her. Chris says they’re out of control.

The rest of the group goes to a dog sledding place. Dolores totally loves on one of the dogs. Teresa keeps saying she’s scared, but don’t they have three dogs, one of which is a German Shepherd? Everyone gets in the sleds and the dogs are super excited. We see everything all shaky-cam on the ride. Melissa says it’s too bad Jacqueline didn’t come and that she tends to create her own issues. Dolores has gotten a text telling them there’s nothing wrong and some TMI about Jacqueline and Chris.

Time to ski. Robyn immediately falls on her ass and continues to do so. Joe is next. I refuse to laugh because I’ve never been skiing and can just imagine. Teresa tells Melissa she’s glad they’re in a good place. She asks for help in understanding Jacqueline, because it doesn’t seem to be going as well. Melissa says her relationship with Jacqueline has changed, since she seems to be paranoid about trusting Teresa.

Siggy and Dolores go back to the villa and Jacqueline says since Chris has to leave, she wants to go too. She says the weekend is about Teresa and Robyn is her friend, so she thinks it’s for the best. Siggy gets ridiculous about how they won’t have a good time without her. In her interview, Dolores is upset because this new person is causing a problem. Frankly, I think Jacqueline is acting like a big baby. She claims to be fearful of Robyn, since she said she wanted to kick Jacqueline’s ass, but Jacqueline started it and she’s the one with the tough girl tagline. She always seems to be spoiling for a fight, but I guess the real truth is, she’s all mouth. Then again, didn’t she punch Caroline Manzo? And her daughter, Ashlee, is the one who pulled out Danielle Staub’s weave way back when. Yeah, now I need help understanding Jacqueline too.

In her interview, Teresa says that Jacqueline is calculated (um…calculating?) and hits you where it hurts.

Big baby Jacqueline packs. Dolores tells her that Teresa is on probation can’t be around any arguments. Jacqueline says if she stays there will be an argument, and they both whine about the new person. Siggy says they have to protect Teresa. Dolores says Robyn is a threat and they should tell her. Honestly, these women think everyone has short term memory loss. Robyn did not start this argument.

Next time, Teresa doesn’t want to ask Robyn to leave, Joe #2 says this is like a soap opera, Jacqueline wags her finger in Teresa and Melissa’s faces while pulling out her phone, and Dolores goes nuts.

September 19, 2016 – GH Wraps Up a Trial & the OC Wives Wrap Up Their Feuds…For Now

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis steps off the stand and keels over. Julian rushes to help her, since defendants can just jump up from their seats and go anywhere in the courtroom . Sam leads her away and Paul asks for a few minutes. They take a recess. Scotty tells Julian he’s doing a great concerned husband act. Julian says it’s not an act. Sonny tells Paul to get him on the stand. He wants to clean up this mess. He’s cleaned up every other mess this year so far; why not this one?

Griff meets Claudette at The Floating Rib.

Maxie is going crazy trying to find her seating chart. Nathan comes into the office. Nina says he’s there on official business.

Michael tells Carly what happened to Sabrrrina. She says she’s sorry and he says, don’t even.

Alexis says she doesn’t understand what’s going on. Sam wants to take her home, but she wants to go back in and fix it.

Julian wants to see how Alexis is doing. Scotty tells him her meltdown is a gift and not to screw it up.

Paul says he changed his mind about Sonny testifying, saying that Scotty will use Sonny’s mob ties to discredit him. Recess is over, so everyone gets off the slides and swings, and Paul calls Sonny to the stand. I guess he changed his mind about changing his mind.

Griff asks Claudette what the agenda was that she was going to tell him about. She asks him if he thinks in saving everyone, he’ll save himself in the process. He’s had enough already and is about to leave, but she stops him. He wants to know why she’s inserting herself into Nathan and Maxie’s lives. That’s a really good question. If I looked like her, had a great job and was living in NYC, it’s highly unlikely I’d be chasing a relationship that’s been dead for years and moving to a town with only one decent restaurant.

Maxie asks what Nina is doing with her wedding plan folder. Nina says she needs to know Maxie’s plans so she can prepare for the photo shoot. Maxie says they talked about a few pictures, but not handing over control of her wedding. Nina says she’ll be in charge of the shoot, but Maxie is in charge of her big day. She does have a few suggestions though. Spinelli knocks at Nina’s office door.

Paul asks Sonny about being present at some events. Events is his word, not mine. “Events” sounds like he’s talking about attending a dance or bake sale. Sonny says he saw Julian try to kill Alexis. Scotty objects to the conjecture. Sonny amends that to seeing Julian hold a knife to Alexis’s throat and then threaten her. He says he took out his gun and Julian told him that by the time Sonny could shoot, he’d slit Alexis’s throat. He talks about how they struggled and he finally stabbed Julian.

Carly apologizes and asks Michael not to push her away. Michael argues with her and Nell steps in. She says Carly feels terrible. Michael says now that Sabrrrina is dead, she must feel relieved. Carly says he’s grieving and angry and can’t handle this alone. Michael tells her to stay the hell away from him and leaves.

Nell tells Carly she can’t believe how Michael talked to her. Carly says he’s hurting. She says she wants to help him, but now he’d just push her away, so she’ll have to wait for him to come to her. Nell says it must be horrible to feel like there’s nothing she can do, but Carly says there is something she can do.

Claudette implies that Griff wants to help Maxie and Nathan to assuage his own guilt. He tells her to forget about them for a minute and asks what’s going on with her. He says he’s willing to help her, but she has to tell him the truth. Good luck with that.

Scotty asks for a minute with his client. He asks Julian if Sonny stabbed him and Julian says yes. How does Scotty not know all this already? Scotty asks Sonny if his gun is licensed and registered, and Sonny says it is. He asks what business Sonny is in and Sonny plugs Perks. Nice business move. Scotty asks if he needs a gun to whip up lattes or does he carry it for another reason? Sonny says it’s for personal protection. Scotty brings up Sonny killing AJ – like AJ was such a great guy – but Sonny says he was pardoned by the governor.

Maxie runs off to talk to Spinelli. Nina asks if Nathan is okay with that, and he says they’re all going to be a part of each other’s lives since Spinelli is Georgie’s father. Nina switches gears and asks Nathan if he has any opinions about the wedding, or is he letting Maxie make all the decisions? Well, that’s the way it usually goes. He sees a book of baby names on Nina’s desk and asks what’s up with that.

Spinelli tells Maxie that he dug into Claudette’s past. Maxie says things have changed. She found out Claudette cheated on Nathan with a priest. She appreciates Spinelli’s outrage on her behalf, but it’s all out in the open, so not of concern anymore. He says she still might want to know what he found out.

Claudette says she’ll let him in on her agenda, if Griff will admit he has a God complex. He says he just wants to help people. She says he wants to save people and there’s a difference. She asks if that’s what he was trying to do years ago with her. She says the only way he can help or save her is if he tells her there’s a chance for them.

Michael talks to Teddy on a park bench, telling him Sabrrrina would always be proud of him. He says he’s sorry, but Teddy’s mother is gone. He sees Nell watching them.

Scotty asks Sonny if Julian hurt him in any way, and Sonny says his sport jacket got messed up, but he fixed it. He asks if Alexis was hurt, and Sonny says not enough to go to the hospital .Scotty says the only one who was seriously injured was Julian. Paul says it’s leading and inflammatory, and the judge sustains his objection. Paul calls Sabrrrina to the stand because he’s pretending to be out of the loop. Carly appears and says Sabrrrina is dead, because anyone is allowed to just walk into the courtroom during a trial and make announcements.

Carly tells everyone that Sabrrrina was murdered at GH. Paul asks for a moment and they take a recess. I call dibs on the merry-go-round. Alexis tells Paul he needs to recall her. She says she’s feeling better now, but Paul says she’ll put the final nail in his case coffin. Paul calls Sabrrrina to the stand again. Huh?

Michael tells Nell that Sabrrrina loved bringing Teddy to the park. He goes down Memory Lane about things we’ve never heard about before, and says she was an awesome mother. He asks why Nell tracked him down. She says Carly really does feel terrible. She tells him before he showed up, she’d been talking about how she wished she could take back what she said, and now she just wants to take his pain away.

Nina tells Nathan the book is for a magazine story. He says please don’t tell him she’s going outside the law for a baby.

Spinelli tells Maxie that he followed Claudette’s moves after she left Nathan and could find nothing. I already know that’s bad. When someone has no internet footprint whatsoever, you have to wonder what they’re hiding. Unless they’re like 90. And even then I’d be suspicious.

Griff says he wants nothing more than to move on, because all they’ve done is cause others pain. He says they meant something to each other once, but if she still has feelings for him, leave Maxie alone.

Okay, Paul wants to bring out Sabrrrina’s deposition. Scotty says he can’t cross-examine it. The judge agrees and the people rest. Scotty says they won’t be calling witnesses and the defense rests. Well that was quick.

Paul makes his closing statement. He talks about Alexis wearing a wire, and how she and Julian ended up at the pier with Julian holding a knife to her throat. They have the dagger, the evidence bag with Julian’s prints on it, and Alexis and Sonny’s testimonies. Shortest. Closing. Statement. Ever.

Nina says she’s not trying to buy a baby and wonders if Nathan is believing Ava, who’s a known liar. She says it’s not going to happen, and he asks if she’s given up on being a mother.

Maxie tells Spinelli no news is good news, since Claudette hasn’t been up to anything insanely wrong or evil. Maybe she’s been crocheting cats on pillows. He says that’s not necessarily a good thing. Maxie says that depends on how you feel about cats on pillows. He says she’s not getting it – there’s no internet presence whatsoever. It’s been deliberately removed.

Griff says whatever Claudette is hiding will come out at the worst possible time, creating the worst possible consequences. Griff gets a call from the hospital and has to go in. He tells Claudette he doesn’t think she’s a bad person, but prove him right and go home. She says she’ll take it under advisement.

Nell says Teddy’s loss is unfathomable, but as someone who didn’t have the best parents, he was still lucky to have her as long as he did. Michael asks for alone time and she leaves. He talks to Teddy about Sabrrrina again. He says the memories will fade and Teddy will stop looking for her, but in his dreams she’ll come back to him. The feelings of love and safety will always be with him, because love doesn’t die. He says Sabrrrina loved him more than anything.

Scotty says the prosecution has nothing – circumstantial at best, and condemning at worst. He talks about Alexis basically saying nothing except that Julian would do anything for her, and all they have are fingerprints on a bag. Are they going to send a man to jail for touching a plastic bag? He plays the this-is-America card, and says you’re innocent until proven guilty. Everyone makes soap opera faces at each other.

Nina tells Nathan she’s given up on actively trying to have a baby, but if one ends up on her doorstep, she’s not giving it back. He says she’d better. She tells Nathan not to worry about her and just worry about getting married.

Spinelli says he can investigate Claudette further, but it could take time. Maxie says maybe Nathan can help, but Spinelli was hoping to keep him out of it. She says they’re not supposed to have secrets, but Spinelli wonders how Nathan will feel about him digging up dirt on his former spouse. Nathan comes in and Maxie tells him what’s going on. He says they’ll talk about it at home because he has to get back to work.

Claudette calls Nathan. She says there’s something she needs to tell him.

Nina looks at the baby name book.

Carly thanks Nell for texting her. Nell says she encouraged Michael to cut her some slack, but he’s stubborn. Carly wonders where he got that from, but says he’ll come around They’ve been through worse.

Sonny comes up behind Michael and puts his hand on Michael’s shoulder.

The judge says blah-blah-blah whatever they say to a jury before deliberation. Scotty says he doesn’t want to jinx anything, but Paul should be quaking in his wingtips. Julian tries to talk to Sam, but she won’t have anything to do with him. Alexis asks Paul how big a disaster it is, and Paul says it’s in the jury’s hands now. But doesn’t everyone love Sonny?

Julian gazes over at Alexis as he leaves the courtroom. She has possibly the saddest face I’ve ever seen.

Tomorrow, Claudette says she’s in trouble and only Nathan can help, Olivia lambastes Alexis, and Carly reminds Sonny he promised the killing would stop. Which I assume means he wants to kill Julian.

 

The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is still feeling the accident in her lower back. It’s going to take some time to heal, so she’s postponed competing. She tells her trainer/spiritual adviser about how she told Meghan to go to hell. She knows it wasn’t very Christian, but she wanted to say something worse. Her trainer tells her to be a peacemaker, but Tamra says sometimes she just wants to slap a bitch. I identify.

Shannon’s daughters meet with their music instructor. They’ve had a band going for three years and have a gig this weekend where they’re playing an original song. Shannon kibbutzes as they practice. She’s really annoying because she thinks she’s still some kind of rocker chick. If I was the instructor, I’d ask her to leave. She says she was in madrigal, which is a smaller group out of an acapella choir, but I’m guessing that was like a thousand years ago. OMG – she gets up and grabs a mic. Go away, Shannon. She says they’re not Def Leppard, but they’re cute.

Shannon leaves a message for Vicki, saying that she heard a different spin about the accident from the people who were actually in it, and wanted to talk to her. In her interview, Vicki says she doesn’t think Shannon really cares, and doesn’t call her back.

Tamra calls Kelly. She tells Kelly she’s going to Shannon’s to help her pack and asked to bring Kelly, especially since Shannon was including Meghan. In her interview, Kelly says after the accident, she realizes how stupid their feud is. Tamra says she’s like the Rodney King of the OC these days.

Vicki asks what Briana wants to do for Christmas, and Briana says it’s only April. Vicki wonders if she’ll have a boyfriend before Christmas, since she was alone for the holidays last year and it sucked. In her interview, Briana says Vicki likes attention and thinks she’s been playing up the accident. I dunno. It’s not often someone gets airlifted out of a situation. Ryan is able to be home for Briana’s real birthday, even though she and Vicki celebrated their birthdays together last week.

Shannon says she’s bloated, and thinks her adrenals are low, whatever that means. She’s stressed about moving. They have to be out in one week and she’s packed nothing so far. The ladies are coming over today and she hopes to make some headway. Kelly arrives first and we flash back to the last time they were together. She’s concerned that Shannon is a loose canon (ha-ha!) that can go off at any minute. Shannon is nervous that Kelly might attack her. Shannon gets stupid about other people packing her stuff. Last time I moved, I wish I’d had someone else to pack. I kept hoping I’d break stuff just so I didn’t have to pack it.

Tamra realizes that Shannon is going to be Kelly’s neighbor. Kelly apologizes and they hug. Tamra wants clarification as to what exactly the apology is for, but Heather tells her that details are unnecessary. Normally, I’d be with Tamra on this, but it’s not private and with this crowd, a fight can easily start back up again. They check out Shannon’s walk-in closet. Heather immediately starts saying what should be put in the giveaway box. Shannon wants to keep her vegan shoes and Tamra asks if she’s going to eat them. In her interview, Heather says, this is terrible, this is stained, this doesn’t fit you anymore, get rid of it. This, is making me want to clean my own closet.

Meghan arrives last and they decide to take a break. In her interview, Tamra says she doesn’t want to be around Meghan right now. She’s pissed off at how Meghan has been going around saying she was reckless. They have a snack and Shannon invites everyone to her kids’ gig. Heather won’t be able to make it since it’s the one-year anniversary of the skincare line she has with Terry. Shannon asks how Tamra is feeling, but she barely answers. There’s a huge awkward silence, and Tamra says clearly no one wants to talk – meaning Meghan – so she’s going to leave.

Tamra doesn’t want to sit there all fake. Shannon was hoping they could resolve things. Tamra says she heard Meghan has been telling people she caused the accident because she was reckless. Meghan says Tamra told her she got too confident, but Tamra says that shouldn’t give her the need to go around saying what she said. Tamra says Meghan makes everything about herself. Meghan talks about Tamra insinuating she didn’t care. Meghan asks if Tamra thinks that’s okay. If the shoe fits. She certainly didn’t seem like she cared. Tamra says sorry she told her go to hell, but sorrynotsorry she hung up on her. In her interview, Meghan wonders why Shannon gets free pass since they were both on the phone. Shannon says she called and texted Vicki, but got no response. Heather suggests they move on.

Briana and the family go out for lunch. Briana’s brother Michael brings flowers and they toast to Briana’s birthday. Vicki tells everyone about Shannon’s call and Briana says she should acknowledge it. Vicki asks Michael if he has a girlfriend. He says yes, and she wonders why she hasn’t met her. They discuss Tinder and Briana thinks her mother shouldn’t even know about it. Vicki claims to be low maintenance and says she never fights with anyone. We flash back to some doozies. And loud, screeching ones at that. Vicki says she wants a soulmate (gag). She brings up having sex and Briana tells her it’s the wrong audience for that topic.

Shannon’s daughters get ready for their gig. Their parents stress out for them. They say a prayer in the car on the way. Shannon won’t shut up about being nervous and annoys the kids with taking a million pictures. Kelly and Michael arrives first. Kelly apologizes to David for her drunken rant. I like it. Simple and to the point.

Tamra and Eddie come in next, followed by Meghan and the ghost of Jim, who is in St. Louis. David’s sister, another Vicki., shows up with his mother, Donna. Shannon tells the girls her MIL doesn’t like her because she took mommy’s baby boy away. The girls play and it’s okay for kids that age, but nothing special. I’m not sure if they are singing flat, as Shannon suggested in rehearsal, or it’s just a kind of grunge sound. I guess that’s it? One song?

David’s mom introduces herself to Kelly and starts complaining about how Shannon hates her guts and she doesn’t see her grandchildren often. Holy! I’d run away from some stranger who starts telling me their family problems right after the introduction. Kelly says Shannon doesn’t hate her guts and basically wants to be left out of it, and immediately tells Shannon what Donna said. Kelly suggests Shannon be the bigger person, but Shannon says she has been for 15 years. Shannon relays Donna’s gripe to David. Donna goes back to talking to the other girls, telling them that Shannon pushed David to have an affair. I’m not a huge fan of Shannon’s this season, but why is this woman whining to people she just met? That’s just no, no, and more no.

In her interview, Tamra says she went from feeling sorry for Donna to thinking she’s vindictive. Everyone is called upstairs for a buffet. An entire buffet revolving around some kids playing one song. Meghan tells Tamra she doesn’t like being in a bad place with her and apologizes. Tamra says she was freaked out enough, and didn’t need Meghan adding to it. Meghan says she loves and needs Tamra. Apparently, she’s hormonal again.

Tamra asks Shannon if her MIL is joining them for food. Shannon says David barely talks to his mother and they just showed up uninvited. She says the only time he has any relationship with his family, it’s because she’s asked him to. She says that her kids were told she was a bad mother and that was the end of it. Tamra wants to stick her nose in further and tells Shannon what Donna said about David’s affair. Shannon runs to David and gets loud and angry and shakes her finger in his face. Kelly says it’s not David’s fault and Shannon storms out and goes into the ladies room.

David says he’ll deal with it, and Tamra is sorry she said anything. She spends a lot of her time being sorry she said anything. Shannon asks David if he wants to defend his mom or her. She says his family has given her nothing but grief forever. Tamra says Shannon claims to be over the affair, but clearly isn’t. Kelly keeps telling Shannon that Donna wants to make amends, but Shannon not’s having it. Yeah, best stay out of this one. David sits with the ladies and Shannon complains again about what Donna said. She says tonight is about her kids and his mother ruined it. She says she thinks her MIL had wished David left them. David explains that he respects and loves Shannon, so he barely talks to his mother. I wish they’d drag the mother upstairs so she can get involved and there’s a screaming match.

The Beador clan gets into the limo. David explains that Grandma Donna was saying things that she believes, but that aren’t necessarily true. He amends that to inappropriate and not very nice when Shannon squawks. In her interview, Shannon says David needs to be on the side of the truth. David looks like he wants to disappear.

Next time, the Beadors have 30 minutes to get out of the house, the girls go to a mud bath, Kelly and Michael argue, and Tamra gives her take on their relationship.

September 18, 2016 – NJ’s Teresa Confronts Her Cousins & FTD’s Strand Confronts a Knife

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Rosie, Jacqueline and Siggy meet for drinks. Jacqueline talks about Kathy and Rosie surprising Teresa at her book signing. Rosie wants Teresa back in their lives (whether Teresa wants it or not) and was hoping to make a lunch date. Siggy thinks it’s sad that they’re estranged and has high hopes for a reconciliation. Higher hopes than I do, since I basically have none. In her interview, Jacqueline says Teresa is mad at Kathy for things she’s said herself. We flash back to Rosie’s interruption of the last Wives reunion that Teresa attended. Rosie says Teresa didn’t act like she hated her, but she wanted more than that. Siggy says family is worth fighting for. Um…that depends on the family.

Melissa takes Joe #2 go for a Botox treatment. She tells him it will help his migraines and he says he has migraines from stuff like what happened at the book signing. He says family is supposed to pick you up when you’re going down, not agree with the one who’s pushing you down. The doctor comes in and Joe expresses his fear of needles. Melissa takes a picture as he gets his treatment. He suggests a gin chaser.

Ashlee is going with Pete to check out apartments. Pete suggests checking out Hoboken first. I was going to wrinkle my nose until I saw the view. I’m moving tomorrow. They go to an observation area and Pete asks her to marry him. Geez, no fanfare, no warning, no nothing. In her interview, Ashlee recalls dreaming about this moment as a little girl. This is the kind of moment she dreamt of? They nix looking at apartments, and decide to go home to give the family the big announcement. The ring gets my stamp of approval.

Ashlee asks Jacqueline if this dress makes her look fat and then asks if this ring makes her look engaged. Okay, that was kind of cute. Brother CJ and Chris join them. In his interview, Chris says, “She’s all yours, Pete – good luck.” Ha-ha! Champagne is brought out and they all have a toast.

What is up with the windows on Siggy’s house? There’s a huge blank space on the second floor. Jacqueline calls Siggy to tell her about the engagement. She also sends out a group text.

Teresa and Melissa are out for a walk. They discuss Joe #1‘s upcoming trip to camp. The conclusion is that women are stronger than men. Teresa says Joe isn’t taking it all that well, although he keeps saying he’s good. Teresa thinks it will be a plus for Joe to detox. In her interview, Melissa talks about how the men in the family put up a strong front. She feels that Teresa got more in touch with her feelings when she was away and they’re the closest they’ve been.

Siggy comes by Melissa’s place to pick up some jeans and have champagne. There must have been a sale. Teresa is going to join them, and they talk about how exhausted she seems. Melissa says she doesn’t think everything has hit her yet, but every time they talk, more trust is established. Melissa wants to take a group trip to Vermont before Joe #1 leaves and Teresa won’t be able to get away.

Teresa arrives and Melissa presents her idea. She says it will be the girls and Joe #2, but only if Chris will come, because he doesn’t want to be the only guy. Joe #1 isn’t allowed out of the state. After some gentle persuasion, Teresa agrees. Glasses clink.

Dolores is working at the gym. Jacqueline shows up with a Quarter Pounder, with cheese no less. Dolores tells Jacqueline about her idea to empower women and have a ladies weekend at the gym. Jacqueline checks out the equipment. They talk about Ashlee’s engagement. Jacqueline is glad Ashlee and Pete are taking their time, since her own wedding was a backyard affair and she Ashlee will have time to plan.

Jacqueline, Siggy and Teresa meet for drinks. Siggy tells Teresa about how upset Rosie was and how she wants to have lunch with Teresa. Teresa says now her father is involved, since Kathy called him a coward at the reunion. I’m guessing she doesn’t mean a hands-on kind of involvement, just that Kathy dragged his name into it. Jacqueline says that Kathy feels that Teresa started it, since she said something first about Kathy’s parents. Teresa brings up how Kathy and her aunt discussed Teresa’s culpability in going to prison and we flash back to that. In her interview, Teresa says they haven’t treated her well and it’s really none of Siggy’s business. I have to agree here. Even I’m feeling the strain. Teresa tells the girls that she isn’t ready for a relationship with her cousins, and wants to concentrate on her immediate family. Siggy tries to pressure her about the lunch and Teresa says she’ll think about it. She leaves to pick the girls up from school. Siggy tells Jacqueline this is deep, so they need to have hope.

Jacqueline and Siggy go to Kathy’s for lunch. Siggy tells them about meeting with Teresa and brings up what Kathy said about Teresa’s father. Kathy immediately gets excited and talks about how Teresa said things about her family, but at the end of the reunion said she forgave Kathy. Melissa and Joe join the crowd. Siggy starts crying. She’s upset about the whole lunch thing, since she doesn’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. Joe #2 says Teresa can’t forget right now and Melissa doesn’t want to get in the middle. Rich talks nonsense about what a happily married couple he and Kathy are, and that Teresa is jealous about that. Joe gets mighty pissed. He says they all know what Rich just did and it’s got to stop. Rich acts ignorant. Joe says something in Italian, which translates to, the tongue doesn’t have bones but can break bones. Rosie gets crazy, saying they all say whatever they want and it all falls on her sister and she won’t have it anymore. Rich says if Joe thinks he’s adding to the fire, he apologizes. To his credit, he says he’ll step back and stay out of it. In his interview, Joe says Teresa needs time to trust them. Finally everyone calms the hell down.

Joe #2 meets Teresa at the gym. He tells her about Kathy and Rich. Teresa says that she’s tired of hearing about it. She says she doens’t like Richie’s company and Joe blabs about what Richie said and how he intimated that Teresa and Joe don’t have love. She says this is exactly the kind of thing she doesn’t want in her life. Joe suggests she have lunch with the girls. She brings up their father being called a coward. He says until she tells them get lost, they’re not going away. Joe offers to come along and she says she’ll do it. That was really nice of him.

Rosie and Kathy show up early for the lunch. Kathy tells Rosie that she doesn’t want to dwell in the past. She says that their parents getting older puts things in perspective. In her interview, Rosie says despite what’s happened in the past few years, she loves the Giudices. She tells Kathy she wants to make her mother proud. Rosie gets all teary and lunch hasn’t even started yet.

In the car, Teresa explains to Joe #2 that she doesn’t enjoy Rosie and Kathy’s company and Joe says he wants them to hear it from her, so they let go. Teresa tells Joe that it breaks her heart that it trickled down to the parents.

Joe #2 and Teresa arrive. Teresa says she feels badly dragging Joe into the lunch. Kathy says she just wants to be a family again. Teresa says they’ll always be family, but she just wants to be left alone. She says Rich always has something negative to say and he’s a big part of the problem. Teresa asks if he has any feeling. A waiter brings menus and Teresa says they’re not eating. Oh, snap!

Teresa says she didn’t even get a card from them the whole time she was away. Kathy says Teresa also shut everyone out, but Teresa disagrees. She tells them she feels like now that she’s in the public eye again, they’re interested in her, and she wants to be around people who were there for her during the bad times. She says there’s been a lot of turmoil and she wants to cut the cancer out. Kathy says they’re not cancer, and Rosie asks if she’s saying she never wants to be a family again. No. She’s saying get off her back right now because you two are way past desperate and she just freakin’ got out of prison.

Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks if they can respect that. Rosie says she doesn’t want to beg. But you are, Blanche! You are! Teresa says she wishes them the best. Joe #2 wakes up and astutely observes that time mends all. Kathy says they’ve opened the door, so if they need anything, they’re here for each other. Teresa says her door is open if they ever need anything. Teresa and Joe leave. In her interview, Teresa says she’s glad there’s closure. She says she reached her breaking point, she’s had enough, and she’s done. She starts to cry on the way to the car, and does that fanning motion with her hand to dry the tears. She tells Joe its exhausting and he says it’s sad.

Next time, the Vermont trip happens. Melissa and Jacqueline argue, and some woman gets involved who I don’t recognize.

Fear the Walking Dead

Francisco, his wife Ana and little girl sneak around Colonia. They head toward the bus exit. The little girl is scared, and Francisco tells her to be calm and quiet. They go through the bus. Ana tells the girl not to look, and Francisco drags a zombie in and guts him. They put the blood on themselves and walk through the zombie horde. Nice crane shot.

The family goes to the outside. Francisco says they should be at another settlement by dark. They hear a truck and hide. Too late. They’ve been seen. Gang leader Marco asks if he knows them. Francisco says he doesn’t think so. Marco continues to question him. He talks to the little girl and Francisco gives him his backpack and asks him to leave them alone. Marco takes out a canteen and pours water over Francisco’s face. He knows Francisco is from Colonia and asks where the Oxy is. Francisco says they left it in Colonia, but Marco doesn’t believe him.

Ofelia is driving around who knows where. She kicks in the door to a restaurant and gives a zombie a hammer to the head. She makes noise to see if there are any others. She looks at the ocean view. She flashes back to when she was there another time with her boyfriend who’s telling her he’s taking a job in Santa Fe. He wants her to come with him and gives her a drink with a ring in it. She says New Mexico is so far, but he says her parents will be fine. He says he’ll talk to her dad and ask for her hand. She says she’s going to talk to her mother. They kiss.

Back to the present. Ofelia peruses a map and fills a gas can.

At the hotel, Madison, Victor and company get things going, putting on the electricity and fishing for food. Hector teaches Alicia some surfing moves and she talks about her brother. Hector asks where he is now, but she says she doesn’t know. She says he’s out there somewhere. She misses who he was, but maybe not who he is now. Hector says his brother is gone. Madison brings them ice water and tells them the generator is working.

Luci and Nick are in bed. There’s a knock at Luci’s door. A guy says Francisco is gone and he took his family. Luci is surprised that he’d desert them. Nick says he’ll help with the search.

Victor, Alicia, Madison and Elena are having some coffee – which must taste really good – in one of the hotel rooms. There’s a knock at the door. Victor answers and gets knifed for his trouble. It’s the mother-of-the-bride, Ilene. I gasp and say wtf? She babbles something about her daughter and leaves. Worst. Room. Service. Ever.

The ladies tend to Victor. One of the guests, Andres, says he had a year of medical training and Elena has Alicia get the first aid kit. Andres makes excuses for Ilene, but Victor says her grief is a little extreme. No vital organs have been hit, but they still don’t have what they need. Elena, Madison and Oscar decide to make a trip to Marco’s gang supermarket.

Luci tells Alejandro about Francisco leaving. He asks if she knew, but she says no. Alejandro says he’s a coward. Luci thinks Alejandro should speak to the people, and he tells her to gather their inner circle.

Victor tells Madison to keep the drinks coming. He thinks Ilene should be exiled, but Madison says she should be locked up indefinitely. It’s either that or the street. She says they can’t have violence and if anyone raises a hand to another, they’re out. She says it’s the only way this can work.

Alejandro makes a speech about how what lies beyond the wall is worse than death, a wasteland, the end. He says death will not take them if they stick together and have faith. He asks them to stand with him, and says they’re more together than apart. Nick looks unconvinced and asks Luci if Alejandro is okay. After the meeting, Luci tells Alejandro that they’re going out. He asks if she spoke to the scouts and she says not yet. He asks if she wants to follow Francisco. She says this is her home and her people and she wants to serve. He says to speak to the scouts then. Nick says if they don’t deliver the Oxy, the gang will come looking for them. Alejandro says they stay until he says differently. Yes, boss.

Madison tells Alicia and Andres to keep an eye on Victor. She says they’ll be back in two hours. She, Elena and Oscar leave in a truck. Madison asks what Elena and Hector were arguing about. Elena was hoping she could get his brother to come home. She says Antonio chose to stay with the gang and Hector won’t forgive him for it.

Nick asks Luci if she’s okay. She’s upset about what Alejandro said, but Nick says he’s just scared because the natives are getting restless. He tells her they have to get the people their meds. She says Alejandro has always known what he’s doing. Nick says the gang could come looking for them, but she says they stay, because she’s really stupid.

Elena, Madison and Oscar go to the gang supermarket. Elena asks for Antonio. Madison and Oscar set down a cooler. The guard says they can come in, but not the guy who’s with them, only Madison and Elena.

Nick visits Alejandro, who asks if Luci is all right. Nick says she will be, and Alejandro says she’s never questioned him before. Nick says if they don’t make the trade, he thinks the gang will come looking for them. He says the danger is now and real and out there. Alejandro gets testy about them not having faith. He says he never asked to be the one to make the decisions. Nick is like, so I should just follow you blindly? Alejandro says to trust him and says he trusts Nick. Apparently, not that much.

Elena sees Antonio and he tells her she shouldn’t have brought the Americano with her. He looks in the cooler and asks if they can get more fish. Elena tells him his brother asked about him. In the meantime, Francisco is upstairs, getting shaken down in Spanish. Madison asks Elena if they’re the ones being discussed, but Elena says he’s talking about a place called Colonia. As the questioning goes on, Elena translates and Madison realizes they’re talking about Nick. She starts to move toward the stairs and Elena is like, don’t do this.

Madison gets involved and asks if they’re talking about Nick. Elena tells her they walk away now or be killed. Antonio tells Elena to get out and don’t come back. Elena tries to get him to ditch the gang, but he says they won’t be there much longer.

Nick asks one of the scouts, Renaldo, to make the trade with him. He says they need water and Alejandro isn’t a rainmaker. Renaldo says Americans always want to fix someone else’s problems, but Nick says he just gives a sh*t. Renaldo tells him they’ll meet later.

Luci tells Nick that the people need reassurance. Instead of giving into fear, the people need to bring their concerns to Alejandro’s inner circle. Nick asks her to join him inside for a drink, but I think he means something else.

Andres tells Victor that his heart doesn’t have enough blood to pump to all the organs. Victor asks if he should write his will, but Andres says Madison will be back soon. Alicia takes over putting pressure on the wound. Victor tells Alicia she has a better bedside manner than Andres. She says she’s not going to tell him it’s going to be all right because it might not be, and he laughs, which is probably a bad idea. He says he changed his mind; her bedside manner is abysmal. They agree on not liking sugarcoating. He asks what she meant when she said she’d raised herself. She says Madison was busy with Nick and his drug addiction, and her father. He says she has Madison all to herself now, but Alicia says she didn’t want it like this, and she isn’t sure Madison sees her. Victor says make her then.

Nick looks down at the zombie wall. Marco is looking back through binoculars. It’s hard to tell if Nick sees him or he just happens to be looking that way.

Ofelia consults the map. She looks at her rosary and flashes back to being with her mother. They talk about their weekend. Ofelia says her father seems unhappy whether business is good or bad. Griselda says God whispered to her about this man and that he’s a hard man. She’s says she’s a hard woman, and they survived together and came there for Ofelia. She tells Ofelia she couldn’t imagine what they saw, the violence and the blood. They didn’t want that life for her. Griselda says that Ofelia’s father still has nightmares. They didn’t want her to live in fear and would have done anything for her, like Griselda would do anything for Ofelia’s father, because that’s love. Ofelia takes her mother’s hand.

Ofelia kisses the crucifix of her rosary and says she understands now. She starts the car and heads for the US.

When Madison and company return, Elena tells Alicia about Madison’s tangle with the gang. The neon light with the name of the hotel goes on, and Alicia tells Madison she’s inviting in the same people that they want to stay away. She says Madison risked everything for a rumor about someone who may or may not be Nick. Madison says she knows it’s Nick. Alicia doesn’t get it; Nick chose what’s out there over them. Madison says maybe he changed his mind. Alicia says she never changed hers and she’s there. Why isn’t that enough?

The hotel light is extinguished, but not before Travis sees it.

Next time, Travis is digging graves, Madison apologizes, Travis wants to make a break for it – Chris not so much, and Madison insists Nick is out there.

September 14, 2016 – GH’s Hayden Gets Caught, LA’s Christy Gets Evidence, NYC Wives Get to the End & AHS Begins

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis and Diane show up early for court. Alexis says Molly helped grill her, but she’s used to asking the questions, not answering them. She can’t believe the day is finally here and it’s going to be the beginning of the end for Julian, She says it’s divine justice that her testimony will be the one to put him away.

Julian is shaving, although I’m questioning why anyone would be giving a prisoner a razor blade. He says it’s his last day there and asks if the guard will miss him.

Carly tells Sonny once Julian is put away, they’ll get their lives back. Fat chance of that, since you’re characters on a soap opera.

Elizabeth says Hayden had no right to the diamonds. Hayden says Elizabeth had no right to her blood either, but she gave it to her. Franco tells them again that they’re sisters and he can prove it. Elizabeth asks if he’s just being his usual wildly inappropriate self, but he says he didn’t want them to find out this way. He tells them that they have the same father and explains that Jeff Webber had an affair with Hayden’s mother while he was married, and their gift to the world is Hayden.

Finn tells Tracy he was a suspect and ended up in jail, so the board is unlikely to listen to him.

Monica is on the phone in the half-dark of her office. She tells Epiphany she’s busy and doesn’t want any interruptions. Paul grabs Monica from behind and injects her. He tells her she got what she deserved. As he’s leaving, he runs into Sabrrrina, and I die laughing at the look on his face. Sabrrrina wants to talk to Monica and like an idiot Paul just lurks around while she goes into the office. Sabrrrina finds Monica on the floor.

Carly asks Sonny how the jury could do anything but send Julian to prison for the rest of his life. Sonny says a lot can still go wrong. He says Ava should have gone to prison for killing Connie and the confession disappeared. Carly insists Julian is going away for good and maybe they can go on their long-delayed honeymoon. She says she needs to help at the hotel since Leo is sick, and Sonny says that another good thing about Julian being locked up for life is that Leo will never know what a creep his father is.

Tracy tells Finn the suspension was lifted and the board will listen. He says maybe they’re tired of hearing him defended and maybe tired of him altogether. She says she personally needs his support. He tells her she should have presented it that way to begin with, and he’ll support her in anything. On the way out, they run into Michael, who asks about the hospital closing. Tracy says not if she and Finn have anything to say about it. She tells him the silly look of love on his face is annoying and she wants to know what his intentions are with Sabrrrina.

Diane has Alexis do deep breathing exercises in the witness box. She says once Alexis is done with her testimony, she’ll never have to see Julian again. Alexis says the thought of being married to him sickens her. Diane asks if she can handle condemning him in front of a jury.

Julian looks for his tie. Sonny comes in – using his own key – and asks if this is the tie he’s looking for, twisting it in his hands.

Hayden tells Franco that’s a lie. Her father is Raymond Berlin and he might not be perfect, but she loves him and he loves her. She says her mother even told her she looks like him. Franco says maybe she was compensating. Elizabeth says her father could do no wrong, and her parents marriage was perfect in every way, and she wants to know where he got this information. He says from Heather, and while she is a lunatic who shouldn’t be taken at face value, Naomi confirmed it.

Finn asks if Tracy shouldn’t be clutching some pearls while she questions Michael. Tracy says if Michael isn’t making a commitment, she needs to know. She doesn’t want Sabrrrina wasting her time. Michael says he’s meeting Sabrrrina later and having a serious conversation with her. He shows them a ring and says he’s asking her to be his wife. Carly overhears and says, hell no.

Paul appears Monica’s office doorway. Sabrrrina asks what happened and Paul acts like he was on his way to get help. Just not very quickly.

Diane tells Alexis she needs to bring her A-game. She asks what if Julian stands up and declares his love again. Alexis says she’ll vomit and Diane says, no she won’t. She’ll act indifferent. Diane says if he’d had his way, Alexis would be cold in the ground, and her daughters would have no mother. She says Alexis can’t get emotional or she’ll come off as the wronged woman. Diane tells her that Paul will be very dramatic and showboat. She goes over what Paul might say.

Julian calls for the guard, but Sonny says he’s on break, giving them private time. He says a while back, he offered Julian a deal and he needs an answer. Is he pleading guilty or going to have a fatal accident his first week in prison? Julian says nothing has changed and he’s taking his chances with the trial. He says Sonny is only worried about him getting acquitted. Sonny says he’s worried about Kristina’s mother and doesn’t want her put through reliving everything.

Alexis says she knows Julian’s moves and she’s ready. She tells Diane about how she even asked Julian to speak to the bar and he refused. He wouldn’t lift a finger to help her. She says Julian is a narcissist and she’s sending him to prison. Diane tells her to hang onto that thought.

Hayden asks in what world Franco knows her mother. Franco tells her about Naomi visiting Heather the same day he did, and finding out that Heather was blackmailing her. Hayden wonders if her father knows. She puts two and two together about how Naomi has been acting about Elizabeth, wanting Hayden to be nice to her. Hayden says she saved her sister’s life, and her sister repaid her by destroying hers.

Sabrrrina does CPR on Monica. Monica starts to breathe and Sabrrrina calls for help.

Tracy says if Carly doesn’t think Sabrrrina is good enough for her son, they should take a trip down Memory Lane, because Carly hasn’t always been perfect. Finn tells Tracy that they should get back to the hospital. They leave. Carly tells Michael they need the kind of love that transforms you and sustains you, and she doesn’t think they feel that way about each other. Nice of her to define love for someone else.

The doctor finds an injection site on Monica’s neck and tells Sabrrrina to get the police. In the hallway, Paul gives instructions about the trial to someone on the phone. Sabrrrina interrupts him and tells him about the injection mark. He says he’ll call the police, and she realizes he never got help. Paul goes humana-humana and makes me laugh. He says he’ll call the commissioner. He reaches into his pocket and Sabrrrina makes a soap opera face looking at his hand. I actually like Paul a lot and hope that somehow they keep him on as a character. Or we could always find out he has a brother, like Carrrlos suddenly did.

Franco says maybe Elizabeth doesn’t seem super grateful, but she didn’t ruin Hayden’s life. Hayden is like, oh yeah? and tells him what happened with the diamonds. Elizabeth says she wasn’t going to let Hayden get away with pushing her down the stairs. Franco tells her about the picture and how it was a man who did it. Elizabeth says if she’d known, she’d have done it differently. She asks for a phone. The phone rings its Nathan. Nathan tells her something we don’t hear. She tells Franco that Nathan has the diamonds, Sabrrrina told them everything, and she’s sorry. Hayden says she is too; she’s sorry she ever wasted her time or a drop of her blood saving Elizabeth’s miserable life.

Diane says the cooler Alexis stays, the more rattled the defense becomes. Alexis says she’s ready for anything Paul does, and she’s not going to let Julian or Scotty get to her. Diane has to leave and tells her good luck.

Sonny tells Julian about Alexis getting her license suspended. Julian pretends to be concerned. Sonny says if he wants to do something for her, plead guilty, and goes over all the despicable things Julian has done. He says do the right thing for once, own up to what he did and take the consequences. Sonny leaves, locking the cell behind him. He passes Scotty.

Scotty asks why sonny was there. Julian says he wants to plead guilty. Oh wow.

Michael asks what gives Carly the right to decide Sabrrrina doesn’t love him? Carly says she passed the baby off as his and has proved it over and over. Michael is like, and you’ve never done anything like that? She says what has Sabrrrina ever done for him.

Sabrrrina starts babbling and backing away from Paul. He grabs her and covers her mouth.

Scotty has a mini freak out. Julian says it’s not like he’s going to be acquitted anyway. Scotty says he’d be lying if he said the odds were in Julian’s favor because of the recording, but the only way to fight is to discredit Alexis. He tells Scotty to go make a deal, shocking all of us.

Sonny asks Alexis if she’s okay. He says he’s not judging, just the opposite. He tells her he did her a favor, but not to get her hopes up.

Scotty is given an envelope that was just delivered. He takes something out and says, wait till they get a load of this.

The doctor works on Monica. Tracy asks what happened and the doctor tells her about the injection mark.

Finn runs into Hayden, who tells him about the diamonds. He says he’s sorry and it’s bad news, but not the end of the world. She says she committed a federal crime. She has to get out of there and isn’t even stopping to pack.

Franco takes the phone away from Elizabeth, who says this could all be a lie since no one is credible. She says Hayden is a stranger and a liar and a thief, but she saved her life. She’s pretty upset about thinking Hayden tried to kill her. She wonders who the man in the picture is, and why he’d want to kill her.

Paul drags Sabrrrina into Monica’s office. She’s screaming and crying and struggling and he’s freaking out, saying sorry he can’t spare her.

Carly tells Michael that he’s too compassionate for his own good. Sabrrrina has been hurt and he’s trying to make up for it. He tells Carly it’s more than that, but if she can’t accept it, too bad. She asks him to just give it some time and think about it. She says she wants to support him, but give the family time to trust Sabrrrina again.

Sabrrrina tries to get to her phone, but Paul tosses it aside. These two are really good in this scene, very realistic reactions.

Carly tells Michael that he and Sabrrrina have the rest of their lives together. Michael says they love each other and he doesn’t give a damn if she doesn’t believe it. He’s going to ask Sabrrrina to marry him.

Sabrrina lies unconscious. Her phone rings. It’s Michael texting that he has a surprise for her.

Tracy talks to an unconscious Monica, telling her that she can’t do it without her.

Hayden says she has to go as soon as possible. Finn tells her she can’t run that far and that there’s always another way out. If she stays, he’ll be with her every step of the way. He tells her to come with him and they’ll make a plan. Roxie likes her, so she can stay with him as long as she likes.

Oh crap. Too late. The Feds come out of the elevator and arrest her.

Franco tells Elizabeth to focus on recovery. She says she has to figure out how to fix it with Hayden, and the only reason she gave over the diamonds was because she thought Hayden tried to kill her. Franco says deep down Hayden knows that too, and he’d never forgive himself if what he told Elizabeth interfered with her recovery. Elizabeth says he’s been there for her and they hold hands.

Alexis gets ready to testify, while Scotty tells Julian that he has his ticket to freedom. He has a has a better deal for Julian in the envelope.

Tomorrow, Alexis thinks Sonny tried to get Julian to make a noble gesture and it was a futile effort, Paul comes to court late saying he had an emergency, and the doctor continues to work on Monica.

Little Women: LA

Christy and family are bowling. Todd and Christy’s mother have been on a league, but Christy bowls about as well as I do. Which isn’t very good. I think my high score is 90. They talk about the Murder Mystery Party. Todd and Christy whine about how the girls blamed her for Briana being served a summons at Kerwin’s party, and flash back to that. Christy insists she had nothing to do with it. Todd makes some excuse about Julie figuring it out herself because she knew Christy’s schedule. Todd brings up the girls suggesting that Christy is popping pills. Christy says something about Matt hitting on a transgender woman, and thinks she should bring her to meet the girls. Her mom thinks that’s a fine idea, but Todd isn’t so sure.

Jason meets Terra for a dance class. In her interview, she talks about trying to get in dancing shape before her gig on Dancing with the Stars. Joe isn’t thrilled with it happening only three weeks after her c-section. After class, Terra talks to Jason. She tells him what’s been happening with the girls and about her DWTS gig. She says she hasn’t told the girls yet. Jason is thrilled for her.

Christy thinks Jasmine is fake because one minute she’s nice and the next she’s a bitch like Terra. She wants to find out if Jasmine is on her side, so they meet for lunch. Jasmine asks how Christy’s father is, but he’s not doing well. Jasmine apologizes for being harsh. She says she’s been frustrated with Christy, because Briana has been through so much. She says Christy spilled the beans about the transgender thing and then had a hand in Briana being served. Jasmine asks how she knew it was going to happen, and Christy says Julie told her that Briana was in trouble. In her interview, Jasmine wonders how they can forgive Christy for something she won’t admit to. Jasmine tells Christy that she doesn’t understand her actions, and Christy says she’s not the bad guy, Matt is.

It’s 102 degrees, and Terra wants to live in the pool. Joe joins her, saying it was fitting that Christy was the murderer at the party. Terra says she’s the only link to Julie and wonders if a one on one with Julie would help. She says she has a good relationship with her, even though she didn’t want to have the same publicist as Briana. She wants to get to the bottom of this and Joe wants to get to the bottom of her bikini. Ha-ha! Joe cracks me up.

Baby Maverick comes home after spending two weeks in the ICU. Briana explains that because of her type of dwarfism, she has no sense of smell, so it’s both a hindrance and a blessing when it comes to dirty diapers. Matt says he never wants to go backwards again and tells Briana how beautiful she looks.

Terra meets with Julie, and Julie asks what she wants to talk about. Terra says Briana was served papers at a party. Julie explains how Briana stranded her in Las Vegas not showing up for an appearance, and how later Matt called and said they were unhappy with the contract. Terra says this version is very different from Briana’s and Julie thinks Matt is the problem. Julie says that she had no address for Briana after she moved and she hired an investigator to hunt her down. She says Christy called after the party wondering why Briana was served, but Julie said she doesn’t discuss other clients. In her interview, Terra says that Christy claimed she hadn’t known the papers were served at the party, yet obviously she did. Julie says that Christy wasn’t involved, but Terra feels like a piece of the story is still missing. Yes, I’m aware of how stupid this all sounds.

The girls, minus Christy and Briana, take an archery class. Terra says they need to take their frustration out on something. Jasmine looks really cool. She has feathers in her hair that match her orange tank top. These girls always have some interesting fashion choices going on. They have a little tournament after the learn some skills.

Afterwards, they sit and chat. Tonya says her activewear line is coming out this week. She’s having a photo shoot and would like them to model. Terra balks at modeling while she so pregnant. We flash back to the whole altercation between Tonya and Terra about the line. Terra says she wants to invite Christy. Jasmine talks about meeting with her and how her dad has cancer. Tonya says she thought he’d just had a cancer scare. Jasmine says that Christy told her that her father is dying. Terra thinks she’s deflecting. In her interview, Terra says her own father died from cancer and hopes Christy’s father recovers, but she doesn’t think that’s the reason Christy is acting this way. Jasmine thinks they should be supportive. Terra tells them about the meeting with Julie and how she caught a slip up. Elena thinks Christy isn’t a bad person and is just trying to fix her friendship with Briana, but continues to shoot herself in the foot. Tonya says Christy is crazy, but harmless, and the girls need to accept her for who she is. She tells the girls that until Christy fixes whatever her problem is, it’s going to continue to cycle back around, and them jumping into it isn’t helping.

Preston takes Elena for a gondola ride. They’re having a date night. Elena talks about how she worries about the babies constantly. She says she feels like she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she must be doing something right. She tells Preston about the archery tournament and how they had fun with no fighting. She talks about how she has a different perspective about what’s going on with Christy. Preston asks if she could talk to Christy, but Elena thinks it might be pointless. She says Christy not seeing there’s a problem is part of the problem.

Plastic (yes, that’s her name), a transgender friend of Briana’s and Christy’s, confided in Christy that Matt was sexting her. Plastic and Christy go for a manicure. Plastic says it’s been uncomfortable. She got a private message from Matt after she and Briana posted a picture on Instagram. At first she thought he was legit friendly, but then he started talking about how Briana isn’t adventurous and he wanted to meet with Plastic before her surgery because it would turn him on more. He claimed to have a tranny fetish and a dwarf fetish. He sent her a d*ck pic and that was the end of it. Plastic thinks he’s objectifying the both of them.

The girls meet for Tonya’s photo shoot. She hopes it goes better than the fitness video. She wanted two average sized people, but one couldn’t make it, so her daughter will be the only one. She says she wanted all kinds of people, little and average, pregnant, fit, and Christy. She asks Elena if she’ll work as director. Elena tells her she should have had someone there to do makeup. Terra asks where the logo is and gloats when she finds out Tonya changed it. In her interview, Terra says she thought the logo was the problem, but then Christy showed up.

The girls actually look pretty cute. Everyone is enjoying the shoot, and then Plastic shows up. Tonya is annoyed. She didn’t want any extra people because she needs the models to focus. Christy introduces Plastic and then reminds everyone about when she told them Matt chatted up a transgender. Tonya says love you, but whatever Matt does is his business and it’s irrelevant. Plastic says she’s there because the ladies have been getting on Christy’s case. She says Matt wrote to her that he has a transgender fetish and Tonya says he has a fetish for everyone. Tonya says they don’t need to prove this, and Plastic needs to go.

I know I’m the one who decided to invest in this show, but sometimes I just shake my head. If someone showed up at my photo shoot uninvited when I was on the clock, we wouldn’t even have been discussing it this far. They would have been an in and out item. No pun intended.

Plastic is offended and Tonya says she wasn’t invited. She tells Christy that Plastic has to go and they don’t give a flying about Marr. In her interview, Elena says she gets what Christy is trying to prove, but why here? Plastic calls Tonya transophobic. I guess Plastic doesn’t understand about paying for studio time. Terra can’t believe she said that. Tonya says she has no problem with transgenders, but she has a problem with someone taking up her shoot time. She and Plastic trade insults. Christy is clueless as to why Tonya would be angry about this. Lots of F-Us exchanged. Angelique tries to keep Tonya from popping Plastic in the nose…er, knee. They finally leave and Tonya is livid. She says she tried to be nice and include Christy, and this is what she gets. Outside, Plastic continues to call Tonya transphobic. Jasmine says she’d actually felt sorry for Christy.

No preview.

The Real Housewives of NYC – The Reunion – Part Three

We open with Sonja’s sobriety, flashing back to the various women discussing her drinking, among each other and with her. Surprise! her life and relationships improve when she calls it quits. Andy gives her props. Sonja says she always quits around the holidays and just decided to extend her abstinence. She says she has the occasional sip of something now, but never finishes a glass. The Countess compliments her and the others also give her kudos. Andy asks Bethenny about being too harsh, and she agrees that she was. Sonja says she understood and knows how Bethenny operates. Dorinda tells Sonja she’s delusional and makes it about the trip to the Berkshires.

Sonja tarnishes things a little by pointing fingers, mostly at Ramona, because she was supposed to go in on Tipsy Girl. We move on to the Berkshires trip like Dorinda wanted us to. She stands by her decision. I guess to ask them to leave. Or maybe that she made it nice. The Countess says she worked through it, and Bethenny says she did call Dorinda afterward. Andy says Dorinda must have had respect for Sonja when she was so much fun sober. Sonja says friends don’t exclude friends, and she was alone around the holidays. Dorinda tells her that she needs to sort her sh*t out. Sonja talks about being excluded again and Bethenny tells her to put it in perspective since it was only one night.

Sonja says Dorinda doesn’t care about her feelings and she walks off. She says she doesn’t want to be a part of the show unless Dorinda admits to not caring. Andy says everyone just said how incredible she is, and the women encourage her to sit back down. Sonja talks in a whiny voice and cozies up to Jules.

We revisit Miami. We got the yacht! The ring! Sonja’s lover! We’re getting married! I love the little squares where we see the Wives reactions to the videos. Andy asks if The Countess had been worried about inviting other women he dated to the engagement party. Jules says that two of her bridesmaids were ex-girlfriends of her husband, but we know how that ended up, so…

Sonja regrets her remarks about The Countess’s ring, although I didn’t like the ring either. The Countess says she didn’t take it personally, and Sonja says sorry again, adding that she was really mad at Tom. Andy brings up Bethenny calling Dorinda the village idiot. Bethenny says Dorinda plays ignorance is bliss. She says Dorinda is always the last to know. Dorinda says she’s just a hopeful person, but thanks for the analysis. Bethenny asks Dorinda to define village idiot and Dorinda does a Quasimodo impression. Bethenny says she didn’t get the metaphor, but I don’t either.Although I more think of Otis on The Andy Griffith Show.

Andy brings up Bethenny chastising Carole for being late to dinner and everyone talks at once. Jules talks about Carole being nicer and more relaxed when she’s not around Bethenny. A couple of the ladies say Bethenny’s personality out-shadows Carole’s. Andy bugs Ramona about lying when she went to Bagatelle, but Ramona says she avoids conflict. Dorinda says Bethenny browbeats people, calling them names and being nasty, and she often walks away feeling bad after talking to her. Bethenny says that’s how she feels right now. I like Bethenny, but I have to agree that this season she’s been pretty aggressive. I chalked it up to the horror that is suckerfish Jason Hoppy.

On to the moment we’ve all been waiting for – the Tom bomb. Roll the tape! Dorinda and The Countess whisper to each other throughout. Andy wonders how Bethenny got the pictures. She says someone who is in that circle sent her the pictures one night in the wee hours. Andy brings up The Countess saying she had an open marriage with Alex. She denies saying it, but everyone agrees that she did. She makes up a bunch of stuff. Andy asks Bethenny why she didn’t tell The Countess first and The Countess interjects that they wanted to talk about her behind her back and say she’s the village idiot. The Countess says she should have gone to Dorinda, if anyone, since she’d introduced them, instead of Ramona and Carole.

The Countess asks why Bethenny asked her about monogamy. Bethenny says she’s not doing this anymore and gets up. This must be around the eleventh hour, when everyone is sweaty, starving, and out of their minds. She twirls around a little and sits back down. Bethenny tries to explain that she didn’t know what to do, so she asked questions and almost called Tom. She says she didn’t want to see The Countess hurt and wants her to be happy, and that’s why she was so emotional. For some reason, Dorinda looks smug. Maybe she’s thinking about her laundry man, John.

Andy asks if The Countess thinks Bethenny is sincere. The Countess says all the investigation Bethenny did seemed odd. Bethenny says she wanted to be sure and most people want to know what, when and where. The Countess says she was devestated and shocked. Andy asks what Tom said on the phone, since we didn’t hear it. The Countess says they’d had a fight and he went to The Regency, got drunk, and saw an old girlfriend. She says in the morning, he was in bed where he was supposed to be. She says it was embarrassing and heartbreaking.

Andy asks if they’d all want to know if their partner was cheating, and everyone says yes. The Countess says the problem was how it was done and she wishes Dorinda had told her. Bethenny says next time her fiance of one week is making out with someone else, she’ll know what to do.

Dorinda says when they got back, The Countess was in shock. She invited The Countess to stay with her and told her not to see Tom, but The Countess went to a hotel. Dorinda says The Countess was in a state of panic and Tom wanted her to lie about it. She wasn’t about to get in the middle and be the fall guy. Not to mention there was that pesky picture. Dorinda says Tom did give her an apology later. The Countess makes up stuff to make Tom sound better.

The Countess says Tom was sad and sorry, and she decided she wasn’t going to let it ruin her life. Ramona asks what she’d do if he did it again and would she want to know. The Countess says not from Bethenny. She says they love each other and decided to work things out. Since then it’s been unicorns and rainbows. Andy asks how the kids reacted and she says Noel was furious. She had to tell them since she didn’t know if it would come out in some big way. Yeah, like on the show. She says if it happens again, they’d better tell her and Ramona asks if she’s sure.

Andy says he feels crass asking, but Ramona keeps questioning whether The Countess would want to know. He wonders if she knows something. Ramona says she doesn’t. Dammit! I thought we’d get more evidence whipped out. Andy asks The Countess if it hadn’t been so public, would she have been as upset. She says because it was in public, she was less upset because it was obvious he wasn’t thinking clearly.

A viewer asks if The Countess is in love with Tom or in love with being in love with a man like Tom? She says he’s the male version of her. Ramona feels her reasoning is too shallow, but The Countess says he even likes her kids.

The Countess says it’s one of the roughest things she’s ever gone through, and she’s not going to let a kiss ruin their life together. They’re getting married! She thanks the girls for being there for her.

Wrapping it up, Andy asks if Bethenny and The Countess can get past it. Bethenny says it’s been like opening a new wound and The Countess hit a new low saying she was sleeping with a married man. The Countess says she was given misinformation and apologizes.

They go through the things they would have handled differently, and none of them are very interesting or surprising. Dorinda compliments Sonja on being a survivor, saying she admires that in a woman. Ramona says she’s glad The Countess is happy and The Countess wishes them all happiness. She’s getting married!

Andy can’t wait to see what happens next and says they’re the reason why he loves New York women so much. There’s a group hug with everyone except Bethenny, who remains seated.

👻 While I’m not recapping American Horror Story, I’ll be watching. All I have to say about the first episode tonight is that when an amazing old house is cheap, you know there’s going to be a scary problem. A hail storm of teeth was a great start.

September 12, 2016 – GH’s Hayden Gives Up Her Blood & OC Wives Give Meghan Grief

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis practices her testimony. Molly tells her she’s monologue-ing and that she’ll only be able to answer questions. Alexis says Molly is a trooper for sticking by her. Molly says all that matters is that they’re on the same page now.

Scotty visits Julian in his cell. He thinks he just swung things in Julian’s favor.

Ava sees Paul at the station and asks him how Julian’s case is going, alluding to his promise to her. He drags her into the interrogation room and accuses her of making veiled threats.

Michael goes to the hospital to pick up Sabrrrina. She tells him that she’s on staff again. He asks if that’s a good idea.

Jason feels badly about leaving Jake, but Sam tells him that Jake is in good hands. She asks him if he wants to check on Elizabeth. He says he wasn’t planning on spending his wedding night in the hospital, but Sam says plans change and he’ll be spending the rest of his life with her, so she’s all right with him being involved with the mother of his child. He thanks her for being awesome. She says she has to check on someone too.

Hayden tells Franco she won’t let tragic, pathological liar Elizabeth die, but she wants the diamonds back. That’s her trade – her freedom for Elizabeth’s life.

Molly grills Alexis as though she’s the defense lawyer. She asks if Alexis advised Carrrlos wrongly because of Julian. Alexis says they need to stop; she has a splitting headache. Molly says she enjoyed herself at the wedding. Alexis says it’s one way to forget, but unfortunately the problems are still there. She tells Molly that she would make a good lawyer. Molly says none of the girls are abandoning her and they’ll get through this.

Scotty seems to think they can get an acquittal. He says Paul wasn’t even there during the jury selection. Julian says maybe it wasn’t that important to him because he has a slam-dunk case. Scotty says he must have Tweety birds over his head – ha-ha! – because they have their own aces up their sleeves.

Ava says she knows what happened with the jury selection, and two chosen jurors referred to Julian as a mobster. Paul says Scotty didn’t say anything and he didn’t want to look suspicious himself. Ava says better to look suspicious than end up in prison.

Tracy joins Michael and Sabrrrina. Michael tells her that he’s worried about Sabrrrina working there because of all the murderous goings on. Tracy says everything will be fine.

Hayden says Franco is going to give her the diamonds, and when Elizabeth wakes up, he’ll convince her not to pursue it. If he agrees, she’ll donate her blood. Finn walks in with the papers that Hayden needs to sign. Hayden asks Franco what it’s going to be.

Tracy tells Michael he’s a Quartermaine, no matter what name he uses. She says the hospital is in crisis and the last thing they need is for him to be telling his girlfriend it’s not safe to work there. Sabrrrina says it’s not up to him and being back at GH is a dream for her. He asks her to wait until the killer is caught. She says her career and independence are important to her, and she hopes he can understand that.

Finn asks if anything is wrong, and Hayden says she’s just nervous and looking for reassurance. Franco tells her to be reassured that she has nothing to worry about. He leaves and Finn says he doesn’t even want to know. She says he’s not looking that great and asks what’s up with him. Franco runs into Jason by the elevator.

Sam goes to Alexis’s place to bond with the Davis women. She tells Alexis that she needs to relax. Alexis says she’s unemployed and all she’s doing is relaxing. Sam suggests they order food and watch a movie. Alexis gets out a huge wine glass and starts to give it to Sam. She says she forgot, and Molly says forgot what?

Jason asks Franco how Elizabeth is. Franco says they’ve found a donor and Jason asks who.

After Hayden gets her blood drawn, Finn tells Hayden she’s a free woman again. Hayden says she owes him and Curtis, and she has good people in her life that she doesn’t deserve. She gets woozy and Finn tells her to rest. Naomi comes in, excited about the charges being dropped. She thanks Finn and he leaves to get some sugar for Hayden. Naomi says she’s a trooper and Hayden says she didn’t have much of a choice since Franco told her everything.

Finn goes to the vending machine to get candy, but he’s shaky because he needs his shot. When the machine doesn’t work, he starts banging it around. Curtis appears and says he doesn’t look so hot.

Michael says he’d never stand in the way of Sabrrrina’s career or ambitions, he’s just worried about her. Tracy says he has no doubt his concern is genuine, but he’d rather have Sabrrrina home with Teddy. Sabrrrina leaves and Tracy tells Michael that Sabrrrina needs the hospital as much as it needs her.

Paul says it’s a long game they’re playing and if Ava wants Julian to walk wit double jeopardy protection, she needs to cool her jets. He says he can’t take the chance of being removed from the case, and it’s in both their interests to make it appear like he’s doing his job well. She says they’re done – for now.

Scotty tells Julian to knock it off with the woe is me stuff. He says he’s been practicing a long time and there’s no such thing as a slam-dunk case. Julian asks how he’s going to get an acquittal when there’s a confession. Scotty says they’ll have to assassinate Alexis’s character.

Molly realizes Sam is pregnant and gets all excited. Alexis goes to get sparkling cider. Molly asks Sam if the baby is a boy or a girl, but Sam says it’s too early to tell and she’s just in her first trimester.

Franco tells Jason that Hayden is the donor. Jason says he’ll get filled in by the doctors.

Naomi tells Hayden that the only important thing is that she’s been cleared.

Curtis tells Finn he looks shaky and asks if he’s coming down with the flu. Finn says it’s just man vs. machine. He thanks Curtis for helping with Hayden. Curtis bangs once on the machine and the candy comes out. Curtis says Hayden has been through enough already, and Finn brings up Nicholas having her shot without saying it. Curtis is surprised he knows about that.

Franco says Jason doesn’t have to respect him, but he needs to respect Elizabeth’s choices, and she chose him. Jason says he’s not just going to believe that because Franco said it, and he’s not going to watch him manipulate Jake to get to Elizabeth.

Curtis says Finn was shaking and twitching a minute ago, and now he seems fine. Finn says he’ll catch up with him later.

Nurse Amy 2.0 gives Hayden props for giving Elizabeth blood when they’ve been at odds. She applauds her for putting aside her personal feelings and doing the right thing. Finn comes in with the candy. Naomi tells her she’s lucky to have someone like Finn in her corner and she’ll see her later. Hayden tells Finn her mother is the definition of fair weather. She says she’s exhausted, and he suggests they leave.

Sam says she was hoping she could keep the pregnancy quiet until Julian was in prison. Alexis tells her not to worry about him getting out. Sam says Alexis will be seeing him in court tomorrow. Alexis says she’s been seeing him everywhere and that he’s been haunting her. Molly asks why she didn’t say anything, and she tells them if Scotty gets wind of it, he’ll discredit her. She says once it’s over, she’ll be able to exercise him from her mind, and they have a group hug.

Scotty and Juian argue. Ava joins them and Scotty tells her Julian won’t let him attack Alexis’s character. Ava says that implies she has any. Scotty leaves and Julian tells ava not to try and talk him out of it. She says despite his attitude, she has every confidence that it’s going to work out. He asks if she knows something he doesn’t

Tracy says she knows what it’s like to throw everything away for the love of a loser. Michael says it’s not about Carrrlos, but Tracy says it is. He wants to take care of Sabrrrina, and she wants to take care of herself. Tracy tells him that Monica wouldn’t have brought her back if she was at risk and she needs his support. Sabrrrina comes running in saying Elizabeth’s spleen ruptured. Once again, the spleen.

Finn takes Hayden back to his hotel room. He tells her she’s welcome to stay for a while and she asks why he’s so hospitable. He says she went from convict to hero of the day. She says she wishes everyone would stop calling her that, and that everything she did was to save herself.

She tells Finn that she blackmailed Franco. She’d donate the blood and he’d get the diamonds back for her. Finn asks her if Franco hadn’t agreed, would she have let Elizabeth die? She says, well, no, and he says she always does the right thing.

Sabrrrina explains about Hayden being a match. Paul busts into the conversation, telling her they need to go over her testimony. Sabrrrina wishes she didn’t have to do it, but Paul says when someone hurts your family, you do what you need to in order to see that justice is served. She says Elizabeth is hurt and whoever pushed her is still out there.

Amy tells Franco that Elizabeth asked for him.

Hayden tells Finn that maybe he’s right. He says he always is, but she tells him not to be too proud. Maybe she marginally does right, but at least she doesn’t have to say good-by to him. She falls asleep and Finn puts his coat over her.

Amy tells Franco that Elizabeth said not to worry and thanked him for being there for her. He asks if there was anything else, but she says no and she has to get back to work.

Sabrrrina wants to get back to Elizabeth. Paul says to give her his best and tells Sabrrrina that the testimony will go fine. Tracy suggests he make sure Sabrrrina is protected. Michael is concerned about Julian going free.

Alexis tells the girls good night and goes upstairs. Sam hopes that Julian is put away forever, for all their sakes.

Ava tells Julian that the walls have ears and she can’t talk about what she knows. Julian says maybe it’s women’s intuition. She says maybe it’s a hunch, but he’ll walk out a free man.

Tomorrow, Franco tells Elizabeth she has a secret sister while she’s sleeping, Paul has one last present for someone, and Hayden wonders if she and Finn should explore their feelings.

The Real Housewives of the OC

We relive the dune buggy accident. Eddie wheels Tamra out of the hospital. There’s nothing majorly wrong, but she doesn’t want to go through the three-hour drive home, so she’s going back to camp. She calls Heather, who tells her about Vicki. She feels responsible for the accident, as well she should, although Eddie tells her accidents happen. Not so much though if you don’t drive like a maniac.

Meghan tells Shannon she’s pregnant. Shannon pretends she can see the baby bump, but she really can’t. The two couples go for a golf game. Meghan fills Shannon in on the dune buggy accident. Shannon wonders why Meghan waited until they were golfing to tell her.

Heather calls and Shannon asks if Tamra is okay, and then asks about Vicki. Heather says they wouldn’t let anyone go in the helicopter with her and Briana is sick. Shannon suggests they call her son, but Heather doesn’t have his number. They get cut off and Heather wonders why no one is offering to see Vicki. Because they’re nasty, unforgiving pieces of work, that’s why. Heather calls back and Shannon makes a bunch of excuses about why they can’t get to the hospital. Meghan claims it’s only 45 minutes from the camp because she did a map search. Let me tell you about those, Meghan. It’s as the crow flies. Google Maps thinks Philadelphia is right around the corner from me. Heather says talk later, and hangs up.

Kelly is like, have some compassion. Heather texts Meghan telling her it wasn’t cool. Kelly checks the map thing and it says closer to three hours. In her interview, Kelly says she’d go out of human decency.

Shannon complains about Heather pressuring them. David says tell Vicki to text Brooks and let’s golf. I’m hating these people right now. I’ve actually been in this kind of postion, and even though I didn’t like the person, stepped in to help. What Kelly said.

Tamra limps back into camp. Heather tells her that she’s never driving with her again. Tamra says that they did a CT scan and everything is fine except she has bulging disks that she irritated. Heather tells her about calling Meghan and Shannon, and the whole discrepancy about the distance.

Shannon, Meghan and the husbands discuss the situation at dinner. They focus on how Kelly was drinking a beer afterwards, so it couldn’t have been too bad. Maybe she needed a beer because it was too bad. Meghan shows Shannon pictures of Vicki on a gurney, which Shannon finds suspect. She says if Vicki was that bad off, she wouldn’t be taking a selfie. Um…she didn’t. She was on a gurney and someone else took the picture. Damned if you prove things and damned if you don’t.

Vicki gets sent home and calls the girls at the camp. Tamra feels badly about Vicki being alone. Kelly tells Heather what a good job she did in calming everyone down, and apologizes to her. In her interview, Kelly says she misjudged Heather and saw the compassionate side of her.

Meghan tells Shannon about stopping by Vicki’s birthday party and how they talked about putting things behind them. She says but she knows Vicki too well and has been hurt by her, so it’s hard for her to forgive and forget. Shannon says she personally can’t get past Vicki being “in on a cancer scam.” Meghan agrees because she is a big fat phony, who said something totally different to Vicki.

It’s time to leave the camp. Heather says good-by to Tamra, who continues to apologize.

Meghan calls Tamra. Shannon asks what’s going on, and Tamra tells them about the accident that she caused. Shannon acts all OMG, even though five minutes ago she wasn’t believing anything. Tamra starts crying and says she can’t believe these two twits won’t even go see Vicki. Meghan says she doesn’t appreciate the accusation that they don’t care because they do. What a load. Tamra tells Meghan to go to hell and hangs up. I cheer.

Jimbo says the whole thing is asinine. In her interview, Meghan says she and Shannon might have misjudged the severity of the situation. Okay, Mr. Spock. Vicki calls Briana, who is in San Diego getting a PET scan. In her interview, Briana thinks maybe her mother is embellishing things a little to get attention and I just stare at her. Idiot Meghan shows up at Vicki’s house with candles from the new line she and Little Jimmy are coming out with. Gee, don’t over-extend yourself in the gift department. Meghan gets all stupid and weepy over Tamra’s “recklessness.” Vicki appreciates the visit, but wonders why it takes a near death experience to get compassion. Meghan goes humana-humana, and says that when Heather called, she thought Heather was just being overly dramatic. In her interview, Meghan says surprise! Vicki really was hurt, and it’s ironic that she’s having to apologize to her. I can’t believe Vicki has to hand her tissues. I’d throw the freaking box at her head.

Tamra is working out, seeing what she’s capable of. Eddie asks if she’s okay and she says that she feels like her “bell has been rung,” whatever that means. She’s worried she won’t be able to compete and feels disappointed. Eddie tells her that it was an accident and sh*t happens. Her trainer told her to put competing off and Eddie says if she won’t listen to him, maybe she’ll listen to the trainer. In her interview, Tamra says Eddie has changed her life and maybe Jesus is telling her to slow down.

Heather visits Vicki, bringing Vicki’s suitcase along. Vicki tells her about Meghan coming over and bringing a crap gift. In her interview, Heather is startled that Meghan made a longer trip than it would have been to go to the hospital. Kelly and Tamra arrive next. Everyone feels a bump on Kelly’s tailbone. The girls are shocked that Meghan managed to have some feelings for someone other than herself.

Vicki tells them about Meghan saying that she thought Heather was just being theatrical. Heather says she doesn’t like how Meghan is doing some clean up maneuver after the fact. Meghan has also been telling everyone that Tamra was being reckless. Kelly thinks it’s a deflection so that Megan doesn’t look like the jerk she is. Vicki says that when this is over, she’s going to have a party or something. In her interview, she says she just wants her friends back.

Heather and Tamra go out to eat. Heather asks if she’s given any more thought to the competition. Tamra says she’s been in a fog. Shannon joins them. In her interview, Shannon says she feels awkward since they’re last conversations weren’t that positive. Gee, why was that? Shannon tells them about how Meghan waited until they were golfing to tell her about the accident. She adds that they didn’t even keep Vicki overnight, so not to blame Meghan for thinking it wasn’t that serious. She tells Heather not to let it interfere with their friendship. Heather says Meghan hasn’t even called her since the accident to see how she is, and wonders how she could visit Vicki later and not even bring a pair of sweatpants to her in the hospital. Tamra tells Shannon that Vicki had to take an Uber home in a paper gown. Tamra says she’s disappointed in both of them, and wonders if Shannon is pissed because Vicki is the victim now. In her interview, Shannon goes back to the picture, trying to justify her thinking Vicki was fine because someone took a photo of her. Heather says now that Shannon knows the story, she doesn’t understand why Shannon isn’t annoyed at Meghan. Shannon thinks they’re being unfair and Meghan didn’t have bad intent. Heather tells her about Meghan saying Tamra was reckless, making her feel even guiltier. She says if Meghan goes there with her and tries to turn it around, she won’t be okay with it. Shannon plays the hormonal card in absentia for Meghan.

The buyer for Shannon’s house wants the furniture as well, so she has to make an inventory. She’s decided to call Vicki, since she’s the only one who hasn’t, saying she’s the remaining apple or a-hole, I couldn’t decipher which. She gets Vicki’s voicemail and leaves a message. I catch it the second time around and she did say a-hole. She says she didn’t realize how bad it was, but does now.

Heather meets Meghan for lunch. In her interview, Maghan says her hormones are going haywire and she’s depressed. She asks how Heather is and Heather says she thinks she has PTSD and tells Meghan how scary the accident was. Meghan whines about Heather hanging up on her and Heather says it was the path of least resistance. Meghan brings up how they sounded like they were laughing and Kelly was having a beer afterwards. Heather says she was trying to let them know bad it was and was annoyed about the whole map thing. Meghan says she could have gone and Heather asks if she was supposed to leave all her son at camp and make a three hour drive. She says now that Meghan has hindsight and understands the accident, maybe she should take a step back and get a clue. In her interview, Meghan complains that Shannon is getting a pass, while all the blame is being put on her.

Meghan says she thought Heather was being patronizing. I wonder if Meghan knows the definition of patronizing. Heather is like, I’m theatrical and patronizing, thanks for letting me know. Meghan breaks down, saying she wishes she had handled it differently, instead of trying to read between the lines. Heather thanks her for the apology. In her interview, Heather says it was a long walk to get it. However, Meghan has officially revoked Heather’s badge as the morality police. Oh the horror.

Next time, Tamra and Meghan have it out, Shannon’s daughter plays a gig, and Shannon and David argue.

 

September 11, 2016 – NJ Teresa Gets a Surprise at Her Book Signing & the Feared Dead Get a Surprise Plunge

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

We’ve already established that Joe #1 is getting mighty cranky the closer it gets to his time in the clink. Siggy says tradition is the glue that keeps the family together. She tries to educate her daughter in family history, but I think Sophie is more engaged with her phone. Son Joshua comes home and thinks he should get a car since he passed whatever grade he’s in. Siggy says all she had was a Smurf collection when she was young.

Dolores and Frank argue over the rules for their son. Frankie comes in and Dolores whines that he’s never home. He says since they don’t have a kitchen due to renovations, he’s been eating out with his friends a lot. Dolores wants Frankie to understand that he should be her shadow. Oddly enough, her son totally understands, but also stands his ground for a certain amount of freedom.

Teresa’s lawyer, Jim, comes over. Joe #1 is going to be in Freehold? That’s not far from me. They have a great mall. Jim tells Joe he has a tendency to be nice (!) and let the wrong people around him. I think this is a kinder, gentler way of him telling Joe that he’s an idiot for trying to let that felon into Teresa’s book party.

Joe #2 futilely tries to take care of his children. Melissa arrives home and he takes her to the movie theater. The one in their home. He tells her that he lost a big deal because he couldn’t make an auction, since he had to take care of the kids. She asks him why he didn’t call her and that she would have made other arrangements. She tells him welcome to the millennium and accuses him of being old school. She thanks him for manning up for his wife. He acts like she dropped out of a tree when they met, but she corrects this misconception. He tells her she brings in crumbs and he brings in the cake. The audience goes, doood! or at least I do. In her interview, she says she’ll throw the cake in his face. Go, Melissa! She says it’s not about money. She tells him he has goals and wants to feel successful, and he’s the one who taught her to work hard. She doesn’t want a guilt trip every time she walks in the door. She asks if she should hire help, but he doesn’t like that idea. She asks if they can drop it now so she can go see her kids. She’s done with this conversation.

Teresa and the two younger girls visit Jacqueline. Jacqueline wants the girls to be comfortable at her house again, since it’s been a while. Milania talks about a classmate who has autism like Jacqueline’s son. In her interview, Teresa says Milania takes after Joe #1 – she likes to act out, but inside she’s a softie. While the kids play, Jacqueline and Teresa have coffee. They talk about Nick’s autism and Jacqueline says they don’t know yet how functional he’ll be. The two of them hug it out yet again. We flash back to the ruckus Jacqueline caused when they last came to dinner.

Siggy visits Melissa, who complains about Joe #2 not liking her having a job. She says she’s not going to sit around eating bon-bons. In her interview, Melissa says that she would never let her professional life compromise her family life. Siggy says that a marriage is like a car, you have to put gas in it for it to move, but at the end of the day, Joe will wear the apron. Alrighty then,

Dolores joins the Wakiles for dinner, along with Rosie. Dolores talks about Teresa’s book party and Kathy tells her they weren’t invited. Rosie says they’ve barely seen Teresa since she got back. Kathy says she sent a text, but never received a reply. Kathy is concerned about her daughter, whose brain tumor is causing problems again, and she says that life is too short. She says true redemption is making peace and Teresa needs to put her namaste where her mouth is. In her interview, Dolores says that Italian family arguments are like a war. Rosie suggests they just show up for a book signing. Hmm… Probably not a good idea.

Teresa drags Joe #1 to a yoga massage. She says Joe is stressed, which is an under-statement, and she wants him to relax. She asks Joe what he’s told the girls. He says they’re not stupid and they’ve already been through it with Teresa. Teresa says she told them she was going to work to write a book. Joe says even Audriana knows where she was. Teresa says she’s not a bad person and the kids think bad people are in prison and she did write a book. Joe is like come on, they know. This is one of the moments that I think proves my point that Teresa was not smart enough to know what papers she was signing. I really do believe her about that one.

Dolores finally gets to the gym, and partner Maz isn’t thrilled that she hasn’t been showing up. She tells him about her dog dying and says she’ll be more dependable from now on. He says he can’t work this way and she’s letting a million dollar operation slide. In her interview, she says her fear and her comfort zone are holding her back. She tells Maz she’s going to prove herself. He wants specific advertising ideas to appeal to females. She wants to do a Saturday night ladies’ night and he suggests a weekend pass. She says she’s been there where you don’t think you deserve an hour to yourself and that’s her angle.

Melissa is making Sunday dinner for the family, including her sister and her family, and their mom. She thinks Joe #2 is missing pasta and having kids running around. She explains to her mom that things are different now and women want more. Her mom says it will work out with Joe. In his interview, Joe thanks Jesus. He says there hasn’t been a home cooked meal in months, but I’m thinking he’s exaggerating. In her interview, Melissa says everything she does is for her kids and husband, and she wants to be successful for her family.

Joe #2 insists he’s not old school, but he wants his wife at home. Melissa cuts that conversation short. The dinner looks wonderful and reminds me of Sunday dinners at my Aunt Agnes’s when I was a kid. We weren’t Italian, but my father’s sister married an Italian man who once bootlegged booze for the Mafia while she watched out for the Feds on the back of the truck. She could also cook, and the spread was amazing, everything from spaghetti and meatballs to kielbasa and sauerkraut, a staple of our side of the family’s Lithuanian heritage. Melissa asks someone to say grace and of course there’s always that one person who goes, “Grace!” The last time I heard that, I fell off my dinosaur.

Joe #1 compliments Teresa on the way to her book signing. She thanks him for coming along and he says this will be the last one before he leaves and after that, she’s on her own. She’s not ready to think about all that yet though.

Siggy’s ex-husband meets with her for a dinner out, celebrating Josh’s birthday. They got along so well as exes, she played matchmaker and he’s brought along his new wife and toddler. Siggy complains about how fast the kids grow and how Josh wants to be around anyone but her now. His father interjects that Josh has been complaining about privacy invasion, but it’s obvious they all care about each other and everyone gets teary and sappy.

Dolores is riding with Jacqueline and Chris to the book signing and tells Jacqueline about how Kathy feels. Jacqueline says that Teresa isn’t ready for whatever right now, and Dolores says she’d better be, because Kathy and Rosie are coming to the signing. As they pull up to Barnes and Noble, Chris says at least the police are there in case there are any problems. I think he’s joking. I think.

The book signing is pretty crowded. Lots of picture taking. Melissa and Joe buy books for Teresa to sign. In her interview, Melissa says she and Teresa have kept their word to be sisters. The two Joes chit-chat. Joe #2 asks Joe #1 if he’s ready. Joe #1 says he looks at it like he’s going to the military, which is a pretty good viewpoint. In his interview, Joe #2 commends him for not being a cry baby.

Josh is presented with the car of his dreams after dinner. He drives off, never to be seen again.

Jacqueline and Dolores arrive at the book signing. So do Kathy and Rosie, practically on their heels. I have to interject how wrong this is here. I don’t care if they’re family. I don’t care if they were close at one time. Let this woman get her bearings and for God’s sake, don’t descend on her in a public place. Teresa greets them all friendly, surprising us all. Kathy asks if she got the text, and Teresa acts surprised that she wouldn’t have texted back, saying some nonsense about her old phone and her new phone. In her interview, Rosie says that she thinks that’s a bullsh*t excuse, but she wants things to start fresh. She asks Teresa if the three of them can have lunch. Mic drop.

Teresa explains that her rime is precious. In her interview she says that they weren’t too nice when she went off to prison and said some mean things about her. Rosie acts desperate, saying what about just an hour, but again, I’m on Teresa’s side here. If right now, she wants to spend that hour with her kids while her husband is off at the pokey, that’s her business. Rosie says she wants them to be close again and Teresa says she’ll always be there for her. Kathy says why not lunch then? Rosie realizes how rudely they’re holding up the line and Teresa makes an apology to the hundred people standing there waiting. Rosie speaks with Joe #1 saying she misses him. She apologizes for what she’d said about them. Joe #1 tattles to Teresa about Rosie and what she’d said on New Year’s Eve. Rosie kvetches to Joe #2 about how they’re cousins and shouldn’t be distant.

Next time, Ashlee gets her proposal, Jacqueline and Teresa argue, Kathy’s husband and Joe #2 argue, and the cousin thing comes to a head.

Fear the Walking Dead

We’re back in the bar with Victor and Madison surrounded by zombies. Victor is going to town stabbing them, and Madison suddenly hears Alicia and stabs some other zombies. There isn’t much to work with weapon wise – a crowbar and broken bottles. Madison finds a cubbyhole where she and Victor drench themselves in zombie blood. Remember this trick if the apocalypse ever happens.

They walk out among the zombies, slowly stepping through the bar. She and Victor are able to separate themselves from the horde and get out the door. The truck is gone. Victor thinks the girls took it, but Madison says she just heard Alicia. They climb up onto a balcony while the horde wanders around below. They go back into the hotel.

Wherever they are, it’s pretty quiet. They rest on a staircase. Victor says Alicia is fine, but Madison says he doesn’t know that, and wonders why Alicia left. Victor says to survive. He gives Madison some water and says a tequila hangover can’t be helping. Wouldn’t they still be drunk? She hears Alicia again. They run back upstairs and let Alicia and the others in. Where we came in before.

Nick walks through Colonia to the infirmary, He goes upstairs to talk to Alejandro. He asks Alejandro if he has any compound. He tells Alejandro about what a buddy used to do when he was running low on funds and proceeds to cut the painkillers with powdered milk. Alejandro is concerned the people will know, but Nick says Alejandro is a pharmacist and he’s a junkie, so trust him. We watch Breaking Bad for a second and Alejandro says this will only get them so far.

Madison thinks thy should go after Ofelia. Victor says to focus on the here and now. Alicia says Ofelia chose to go because she thought they wouldn’t make it. Madison says they will make it. Elena talks about supplies and says the people left in the hotel still want her dead.

Madison and Victor stand outside. Madison calls for Oscar. She says there’s work to be done, nobody is leaving, so they might as well work together. Dude says drop their weapons. The do and go inside.

Nick works hard at cutting the drugs. Alejandro tells him to take a break. Nick asks what happened. He tells him Luci only told him that Alejandro was bitten, didn’t turn and that she had faith. He says he doesn’t believe in miracles. Alejandro says he calls it a leap of faith.

Oscar tells Madison about how they got trapped and how they’ve been rationing. Madison says the hotel has everything and explains how they can make the hotel into a home. Oscar says if they help, “that woman” can’t stay (and he didn’t have sex with her either). Madison says Elena did what she thought was right. The mother-of-the-bride says Elena killed her daughter, Madison says the sickness killed her. Madison says the next group who finds this place, and someone will, might not be so nice. They’re clearing out the dead and blockading the place and it would be easier with help. Oscar gives her the keys.

Madison and Victor talk on the way back. Madison is concerned about winning over the mother. Victor says her grief is driving her. He tells Madison that he’ll secure the place, but it’s not home. He had a home.

Nick tests the drugs and says it’s all good. Alejandro talks about how a boy stole from him. He doesn’t know what drug the boy took, but he was mistaken for a zombie and put in with them. He says he tried to save him, but was bitten, and Luci found him and brought him back. They waited for death to come, but it didn’t. Nick asks what happened to the boy and Alejandro says, zombie. Alejandro asks him to be brave, but careful. Nick thanks him for caring. They watch some kids play soccer with Luci and Nick joins in.

A bloody guy runs up to Alejandro and says “he’s in pieces.” Nick asks Luci what’s wrong and she says they found Pablo. Luci tells Nick that Pablo was her brother. She says Pablo looked for their mother after the apocalypse and helped her deal with it when their mother became one of the dead.

Hector suggests they leave zombies behind locked doors. Alicia says if one gets out, they have to start over and they need to clean sweep the place. Alicia goes outside and talks to Madison. She says at the rate they’re going, it will take weeks to clean the place up. Madison says they don’t have weeks. Madison apologizes for all her faults as a mother and Alicia starts walking into the water. Madison calls to her, and Alicia says they don’t have to kill the zombies and points to a sign that says no swimming – riptides. Well, yeah, that might sweep them out temporarily, but they’ll be washing up somewhere.

Alejandro gives Nick a cute little house, saying he needs the bed in the infirmary. Nick says he doesn’t need all this, but Alejandro says that it’s a gift for the time Nick bought them.

Madison tells everyone the plan for leading the zombies into the sea. Alicia doesn’t like how Madison is putting herself out there, but Madison says she needs her in the boat. Alicia tells her about how she saw the look-alike zombie and how she’s afraid of losing her mother, but Madison says Alicia isn’t going to lose her.

Hector and Alicia lead the zombies out of the hotel. Elena and Victor prop doors open inside, so the ones in there can get through. Madison give us more cowbell, luring the zombies by banging on a metal plate. She, Victor an Elena meet. Hector and Alicia separate, Alicia telling Hector to make sure he’s there for her. Madison cowbells the zombies out onto a long dock.

Oscar closes and locks the hotel. Alicia locks the side gate. We see quite a load of zombies shuffling along the boardwalk out to sea. The mother-of-the-bride looks on with disdain from the hotel. Alicia and company get an inflatable lifeboat ready. She and Hector take it out.

The zombies are getting pretty close to Madion, but the waves are kepeing the boat from getting close enough. Madison keeps looking over and wondering where the blip it is as she continues to cowbell. Alicia calls to her. She jumps off the side into the water. It’s a pretty long leap, about 40 feet.

Cool! Zombies following her like lemmings.

There’s a knock at Nick’s door. It’s Luci, saying she’s too tired to sleep. That’s a new one. He’s been reading a Spanish dictionary so he can talk to someone besides Alejandro. He says he wishes he’d taken it in school like his sister. Luci seems surprised he had a family and asks if she’s alive. Nick says he thinks so, as well as his mother, but his father died before zombieworld happened.

The crew at the hotel sit down for dinner. Oscar says his brother couldn’t handle it and is lying down, and Madison says he’ll come around. Alone, Victor goes to one of the rooms. The brother is in front of it. His wife is inside. He was the groom at the wedding. He talks about their courtship an says he won’t let Victor do anything to her. Victor says it’s not his wife anymore. He says the guy will never be the same, but one morning he’ll start thinking like someone new, the person who comes after. He asks what her name is. The groom tells him Jessica. Victor asks to let him help Jessica. The’re both shedding tears and it’s all poignant.

Luci opens her eyes and says she’s sorry she fell asleep. Nick says Alejandro claims she tests people, and she’s testing him? She kisses him. Is that part of the test?

The groom gives Victor the key to the room. Victor opens the door. There are zombie sounds inside. The door closes.

Next time, Nick says danger is coming (I don’t think you have to be a psychic to figure that out), Madison makes some rules, and Nick and Luci get it on.

September 7, 2016 – GH’s Spleen Problem, LA’s Christy Problem & NYC’s Countess Can’t See the Problem

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny says the new baby coming is like a double blessing. Carly says it’s been a perfect day. She better duck.

Elizabeth goes unconscious, probably because Franco is taking so long to make his point.

Tracy sees Dillon in the park. She says she doesn’t see any models, but he says sometimes he actually takes pictures of things that aren’t part of the job. He’s trying to capture the light at the end of summer. Tracy remembers him talking about the dynamics of light as a child and how she knew he had the makings of an artist. He says that what he does at Crimson isn’t exactly visionary. She asks him what’s wrong.

Kiki and Morgan talk outside Perks as Ava watches. A baseball cap delivery comes, but the hats say “Pecks” instead of “Perks,” and Morgan isn’t happy.

Griff comes flying into Elizabeth’s room. He calls code blue. Her spleen just ruptured. Uh-huh. It’s always that damn spleen.

Dillon tells Tracy he’s not lost or drifting into trouble. Tracy says something is bothering him and at some point over the summer, the wind got knocked out of his sails. She wonders if it has to do with the STI, but he says he took the antibiotics and he’s fine. Next she wonders if he’s suffering from a broken heart. He says he knew that Kiki had a previous relationship with Morgan and they got back together. End of story. Tracy asks if he’s hoping Kiki has changed her mind.

Kiki asks Morgan why he thinks it’s him that screwed up. She looks at the manifest and says he’s not at fault. She says the company screwed up, not him, and he should mail the hats back right now. He wants to congratulate Sam and Jason, so Kiki says she’ll take them. Morgan is annoyed that he told Aaron the hats would be there today, but Kiki says that’s not in his control. She suggests they keep a hat as a memento for when Perks takes over Starbucks, but he doesn’t find it funny, and says he’s feeling off today. Ava has been watching and she flashes back to when she switched his lithium with whatever looks like lithium, but isn’t.

Griff says they have to stop the internal bleeding and Elizabeth is taken to the ER. Franco asks what he can do, and Griff says pray. Franco balks at the idea. Griff says he doesn’t have time to explain God, faith and the universe right now, but Franco could also notify the family.

Carly asks Sam what’s up. Sam says she hadn’t expected to make the baby announcement, but she’s glad it came out. Considering everything they’ve been though, she’s happy how everything is coming together and the baby not knowing anything except true love and them all being true friends. Spinelli is thrilled and bluebirds fly around with ribbons in their mouths. Carly asks Spinelli for pictures of his baby and he says they don’t know what they’re asking, since he has a PowerPoint presentation.

Franco calls Jason asking where Jake is. Jason tells him to get lost, but Franco says Jake needs to know his mother might be dying. Jason tells everyone that Elizabeth’s spleen just burst. Carly thinks it’s a set-up, but Jason says he’s going to the hospital. He tells Sam to stay and spend time with Spinelli, since he came all this way.

Jason leaves and Sam has an official craving for ribs. She thanks Carly and Sonny, who says no thanks are needed because they’re family. Sam and Spinelli leave to get ribs. Carly says she hopes Jason isn’t going to break Franco’s neck, which wouldn’t be a good end for the day. Sonny pretends that he wants to help clean up, but Carly tells him that’s okay, since his help is no help. I identify. He wants to go to Perks and see how things are going. He says it’s the first time in a long time he’s seen Morgan this together.

Ava tells one of the employees at Perks that Morgan seems like a downer. The guy says he’s been down in the dumps all day. Ava twirls her mustache.

Dillon says Kiki is none of Tracy’s business, and she says as his mother, everything is her business. He says he’s not ten and doesn’t need coaching. She says he’s hung up on an unobtainable girl and he has a couple of choices, to go off on an adventure or fight for her. She says she speaks from experience, and he should decide what he wants and go for it. The worst choice he could make is to do nothing. She leaves and he talks to himself about not being able to have what he wants.

Kiki pops out with the box and asks what’s up. Dillon says he’s annoyed at his mother, but it’s not worth talking about. She says his head looks like it’s going to explode, and no one’s more sympathetic than she is. He says Tracy was lecturing him about her.

Jason shows up at the hosptial. Franco fills him in on what happened. He says one minute he was talking to Elizabeth and the next she was unconscious. Jason is surprised about the fall down the stairs. Franco says he tried to call him and Jason ignored it, and she didn’t just fall, she was pushed by Hayden. Griff comes out.

Spinelli and Sam go to The Floating Rib for what else? Sam wonders about Elizabeth and Spinelli suggests taking a look at the hospital records. Sam says she’ll wait for Jason and that she and Elizabeth have called a truce. She says Elizabeth and Jason are always going to be in each others lives because of Jake.

Griff confirms that Elizabeth’s spleen ruptured. Franco says you can live without one, but Griff says it’s not the ideal situation. Then he actually explains what the spleen does, and it’s important. He says they’re giving Elizabeth blood transfusions until they can figure out how to deal with it.

Kiki asks why Tracy was lecturing Dillon about her. He says she’s stuck on when she walked in on them. He tells her that she’s with someone else, he accepts it, and as long as she’s happy, he’s happy. He asks what’s in the box, and she explains about the baseball caps. Dillon mentions she doesn’t even work at Perks. Kiki says she’s not babying Morgan, if that’s what he thinks. He thinks she needs to hear something about Morgan.

Morgan gets home and wonders where everyone is. Carly says they’ll be back and he’ll have time to wish everyone well, but wonders why he’s home. He tells her Perks wasn’t busy. Carly says Sonny just went over there and will be disappointed not to see him.

Sonny sees Ava and accuses her of spying on Morgan, telling her that she’s not going to mess with his life. Ava says she hasn’t seen Morgan or Kiki and says sometimes a latte is just a latte. He says she seems pleased with herself. She says she is and Sonny asks why.

Spinelli wonders what Sam meant by Elizabeth being supportive in her own way when Sam found out she was pregnant. Sam tells him about Jason contracting malaria and how scared she was about the baby having it, adding that the baby is fine. Spinelli tells her to never hesitate to call if she and the baby need help. He says he wants to reciprocate all the help she’s given him with support and childcare tips.

Griff says Elizabeth needs more blood than they have on hand. Jason and Franco volunteer and he tells them what room they have to go to. Jason asks Franco about Hayden and Franco explains that she’d just argued with Elizabeth. He asks if anyone saw Hayden push her. Franco says no, but he saw her standing over Elizabeth. Jason says he’ll tell Jake and tells Franco not to give him any advice.

Dillon says he thought Kiki was enabling Morgan because she felt obligated or guilty, but when he saw her in the garage, he accepted that they have a real connection and a true bond. He says there’s obviously a lot of love between them and he wants all good things for her. Oh come on, Kiki, dump Morgan. She kisses Dillon on the cheek and continues on her way.

Carly tells Morgan that he seems quiet, and he tells her about the hats, saying that it’s not a big deal. She tells him that Sonny said he seems to have a handle on his personal and professional life, but he seems low. She asks if everything is okay.

Ava says Julian’s trial is starting and she has faith that justice will be served. Sonny says he didn’t realize she wanted Julian locked up, but she says she has a different outcome in mind. She mentions Alexis’s fight with Kristina and says Alexis is an unreliable witness. He asks if that’s the only reason she’s smirking and when she tells him yes, he says she’s lying.

Franco pressures Jason to tell Jake. Jason says he wants to tell him in person. Franco wants to make suggestions, but Jason isn’t having any. Jason makes arrangements for the kids, saying there’s something important he has to take care of. Franco moons over Elizabeth’s empty hospital bed and flashes back to their kiss.

Morgan tells Carly he’s fine and he’s just having an off day. She says everyone has one. She doesn’t want to be a helicopter mom, but tells him he can make an appointment if he needs to. He says he knows that and the alarm on his phone goes off to take his meds. He says he needs to realize every day isn’t going to be perfect (tell me about it) and he has to stay on schedule with his medication. He tells Carly he appreciates that she always has his back

Sonny says he agreed to a truce for Avery’s sake, but he hasn’t forgotten who Ava is. He says if she interferes with Morgan’s life, he’ll have to retaliate and don’t push him because she won’t like how he pushes back. Kiki comes back and asks if there’s a problem. Sonny says he was wondering the same thing.

Kiki asks what Ava is doing there. Sonny says he hopes she can get more truth out of Ava than he did and leaves. Ava tells Kiki that Sonny thinks she wants to cause trouble, but she just wanted a cup of cofee. She says as much as she hates to admit it, Kiki is an adult and can make her own choices. No more interfering. Kiki says Morgan is doing great. Ava says if they’re meant to be together, let nature take it’s course. We see Morgan take his pills.

Sam thanks Spinelli for coming and he says it’s his pleasure. He says he’s never seen her so content. She says as far back as she can remember happiness has made her nervous because it could always be taken away from her. She says she doesn’t feel that way this time. She has faith that good things can happen, joy can actually last, and she and Jason have a future.

Jason calls to find out how Jake is and says he’ll see them when they get there, wherever there is.

Franco asks how much longer. Griff tells him they have a serious problem.

Tomorrow, Lulu realizes all of her dreams might not come true, Valerie finds out about Curtis working to free Hayden, and Robert has news for Dante and Lulu.

Little Women: LA

Elena and Terra go to the spa. While getting a mud mask, Terra asks if Elena has heard from Briana, who has spent most of her pregnancy in the hospital. She was in so much pain, she had to leave her own party, and no one has heard from her. Elena says since the party didn’t go as joyfully as planned, she wants to plan something else. Terra suggests a murder mystery party. Elena wants all the friends invited, but Terra says Christy is no one’s friend. We flash back to some of Christy’s recent shadiness. Terra is surprised that Elena wants to give her another chance, and tells her that some of the girls think Christy might be self-medicating. Elena thinks she’s just being desperate in trying to get Briana’s friendship back. Terra agrees to invite her. It being a murder mystery party, you don’t know who the invite is from.

Briana is in the hospital. Maverick Jack is here. Even though he’s premature, his only issue is fluid on the lungs. Matt is a little freaked, but says Briana was tough as nails in handling it. He says he’s going to be scared until they take their baby home. He has to be breathing and gaining weight on his own before he’s allowed out. Matt says he’s proud of Briana.

Elena is busy. Now she’s shopping with Tonya. Everyone except Briana has RSVP’d for the party. Christy meets them at the store. It’s a vintage clothing shop and my eyes dart everywhere. Elena brings up Julie knowing where Briana was going to be and sending a process server there. Christy says she had nothing to do with it, telling them that Briana was going to get served anyway because Julie told her it was going to happen. Hmm… Tonya says if she’s going to lie, pick one and stick with it. Tonya says Christy was the only one who knew where Briana was going to be. Christy says she didn’t do it, but even if she did, who cares? since Briana deserved it. Wow. Not too obvious.

This does not go over too well with Tonya and Elena. Christy says she’s sick of everyone asking her about it. In her interview, Christy complains about Briana not inviting her to anything and Briana not being appreciative of her marital advice. She says Briana needs to pay her bills or expect to be served. Christy starts crying, saying she didn’t hire Julie to piss off Briana. In her interview, Elena says that Christy seems desperate to be liked and have friends, and she wants to help out. I’d like to help her out the door.

Jasmine visits Briana in the hospital. Since she’s been so supportive, Briana wants her to be the first to meet the baby. Briana tells her she also had her tubes tied while she was there. In her interview, Jasmine says when she and Chris make the decision not to have any more kids, he’s going to be the one who gets snipped. Poor baby Maverick has a million tubes going in and out of him. This hits home to Jasmine, who wonders what if that happens with her baby?

Kerwin and Tonya play table tennis. Tonya says his height gives him an advantage and even a friendly game of ping pong can turn into a war with them since they’re both competitive. Tonya is still upset about Angelique not being happy about her father moving in and wants to get all of them on the same page. She tells Kerwin about Angelique being upset that her opinion wasn’t sought. Kerwin says he thought he had a father and daughter bond, and thought his moving in would make everyone happy, but that’s not the case.

Tonya, Kerwin and Angelique get together for an afternoon of riding water bikes. I’ve never seen these before and they look like bicycles on thin parallel surfboards. Afterward, Tonya says she wanted them to come together as a family and wants Angelique to express herself. Angelique said she felt badly because she wasn’t involved in the decision. Kerwin says he thought she’d be happy. Tonya asks what they can do to make the situation better. Angelique says better communication and Tonya suggests it’s needed on both ends.

Terra tells Joe she got some news and he asks if the baby isn’t his. She says bigger than that – she’s been chosen for the next season of Dancing with the Stars. Joe says he’s proud of her. Lots of that going around today. Terra is concerned about being a little person dancing with an average sized guy and doesn’t want his “package” in her face. The plan is for her to start three weeks after she has the baby. She wonders if she should still do it if the doctor says no. Joe is like, of course not, but Terra wants to do it more than anything and be an example for little people.

Terra gets an ultrasound. Afterward, she talks to the doctor about doing the show. She tells him they want to start three weeks after her c-section. The doctor says sometimes there’s postpartum bleeding with a c-section. In her interview, Terra says she’s okay with pushing through and she’s going to do it anyway. The doctor says if she gets anything more than a little sore, she should stop.

Briana’s daughter, Lieana, wants to see her baby brother, so Matt brings her to the hospital. In her interview, Briana talks about how happy she is now and how everything sucked five minutes ago. Lieana says it’s feels great to be a big sister and can’t wait to take “her” baby home.

The murder mystery party commences. Joe asks if they get to really murder someone. He and Terra have agreed not to announce her Dancing with the Stars gig yet, because she doesn’t want her buzz harshed by Christy. In her interview, Christy says she thought Terra might have invited her, but nixed that idea when Terra didn’t want to hug her.

Everyone is given envelopes with the details of their character. One person is secretly the killer and it’s up to the others to figure out who it is. There are also some party professionals playing roles. The set up is that they’re all actors and actresses at a film premiere for a movie about the Black Dahlia, but the star has been murdered. There are envelopes that hold clues for each of the participants. Everyone asks questions of everyone else in trying to figure out who the killer is.

“Ruth” (Tonya) has been slipped poison and the antidote is in the clues. Tonya pretends to fade and “Greta” (Christy) finds the antidote. Joe’s envelope says that Ruth was never poisoned and the antidote was really poison. Tonya hams it up in her death scene. Jasmine turns out to be the murderer. She likes how Christy was almost framed.

Afterwards, they talk outside. Elena is glad they’re being friends like they used to be. Jasmine says she’s surprised Christy cares and brings up how she gave Julie information about Briana. Christy says that’s not the case and gets snarky. She says nothing happened behind Briana’s back. Julie just asked if Christy needed a publicist. She says others have shared a publicist, but the girls say they discussed it among themselves first. Elena brings up what Christy said when they were shopping.

Christy tries to interrupt her, but Elena tells her to let her finish. Both she and Terra talk about how Christy’s story keeps changing. Jasmine says it doesn’t matter who her PR person is, but it matters that her story changes. Jasmine says she cries about wanting to be Briana’s friend yet does things behind her back. Christy brings up how they disliked Matt five minutes ago and now everyone is okay with him. Terra says they’re not okay, but they’ve decided to move forward and none of them did things behind Briana’s back. She asks if Briana ever called Christy’s son and tried to drag him back into her life? Apparently, there’s some bad blood there. Terra wonders if Christy is popping pills. In her interview, Christy says that’s between her and her doctor and her drinking is between her and God. Does this mean God is her drinking buddy? Terra tells her to tell the truth for once, and that her lies are the reason she loses friends. Joe says she’s lucky to have Todd since he can deal with her lies. In her interview, Elena says it’s hard to watch Christy being nasty and everyone fighting. Terra says she’s not interested in Christy’s personal life the way Christy has dug into Briana’s. Christy and Todd leave. Jasmine says she’s proved she can’t be trusted.

Next time, an archery tournament (I shudder at the thought), Jasmine confronts Christy, and Christy drags in the mystery transgender (no pun intended). I have to add how much it makes me laugh when Matt calls Christy “Crusty.”

The Real Housewives of NYC – Reunion Part Three

I enter late and Bethenny is talking about her illness and how Ramona was very nurturing, since she doesn’t have a mother figure in her life. Andy asks if that’s why she recently reached out to her mom, but Bethenny says no, it was because her daughter asked about having grandparents. She says they hadn’t talked in years. Andy asks if she felt better afterward, but Bethenny isn’t sure. She says she and Brinn are going to Florida to visit her mother. Andy brings up Bethenny going to her old apartment after finally getting suckerfish Jason Hoppy out. Bethenny says she’s the type that just barrels through, but when she got there, seeing everything so empty, it all washed over her. She says she thought it would feel good, but it wasn’t like that. We see her wailing over the empty walk-in closet.

Andy asks about Bethenny getting married again. She says it hadn’t been important to get married again, but now she’s not sure. He asks about her new boyfriend seeing her lose her sh*t on the show, but she says he’s amused by it. The Countess is annoyed that he finds the name calling funny because she has a stick up her behind.

We go over Jules’s Jewish Asianness, and relive Bethenny’s reactions to Jules’s eating disorder. We flash back to when Jules baked the measuring cup into her calzone. This slides into scenes of Jules’s husband, Michael, being absent in the relationship. Jules says they’d always worked out their problems, but this year was different. Andy asks about cheating on his part and spousal abuse on hers, and she says you can’t believe everything you read. Bethenny says that mutual frineds told her Jules had a prenup and came on the show to get divorced. Dorinda tells Bethenny she should stay out of it and there’s arguing among the ladies.

Andy congratulates Jules on being the first housewife to share an eating disorder. Jules talks about being comfortable enough to share things with Bethenny first, and how that didn’t work out too well. She says she’s doing better than ever and will continue to do so. She says years ago, she wouldn’t have admitted anything and someone in denial wouldn’t do that. She adds that it goes in stages. Carole brings up the calzone thing and Jules says she was just goofing around. I’m starting to get uncomfortable because I feel like Carole and Bethenny are ganging up on her. Carole says she was seeing something that new friends sometimes do. Jules says unless Carole knew the depths she came from, she can’t know the progress that’s been made.

Andy asks about Bethenny’s mother having an eating disorder. Bethenny says some of the things Jules claims she said, she didn’t say. Jules says that’s not the case, and Bethenny says she’s allowed to have her own perspective. In an astute moment, The Countess says perhaps Bethenny is projecting because of her mother. A viewer suggests Bethenny is turning Carole into a mean girl. We flash back to the two of them acting like idiots when visiting Jules. Again we hear about how they have a right to their opinion.

A viewer brings up Jules talking about the women’s ages. Dorinda says there’s a big difference between Jules’s age and theirs. Jules says she was just joking and another viewer suggests Bethenny can dish it out and not take it. Bethenny compares joking about age and weight, but Jules says her weight is connected with her eating disorder (i.e. mental illness, so not a cool thing to joke about). Dorinda says Jules came to her saying how hurt she was and she told her to stand up for herself.

Bethenny tells Jules she didn’t represent being Jewish well. Whatever that means. It’s not like she was dancing naked on a bar with a lampshade on her head. She asks if Bethenny can’t lighten up. Bethenny says she’ll say whatever she wants. She’s not looking good here at all.

Dorinda’s pot stirring is up next. We flash back to her working that spoon and talking about everyone behind their backs. To their credit, everyone laughs about it. Dorinda says when she saw the show, she thought, don’t tell Dorinda anything, and her brother called her Gladys Kravitz. She says she does try to come from a good place, but sometimes she gets it wrong. Bethenny says she jacked Jules up, but Dorinda says she thought Bethenny and Carole were being mean to her. Carole acts like it’s okay because it wasn’t behind her back. Dorinda brings up how Carole talked about Dorinda’s house being ghostly because she has her late husband’s stuff there. We see a flashback and they are pretty mean. Dorinda says that hurt her feelings and tells Bethenny to stop explaining it away. She says she wouldn’t have brought up Carole’s late husband.

The girls say it hasn’t gone unnoticed that Carole and Bethenny only pal around with each other. Carole says some of them are closer than others, but it’s true. A viewer asks why none of the ladies held Dorinda’s feet to the fire about her pot stirring. Sonja gives a mini tirade and Dorinda says she’s going to stay out of it from now on, but she will stick up for Jules. She thinks the intent wasn’t positive toward her.

On to The Countess’s engagement. We flash back to The Countess being uncool in her interaction with Sonja and Ramona, who had both dated her fiance. While we’re watching, The Countess calls Sonja delusional. Seriously, for what reason would Sonja have to lie about this? We also get to watch that snake, Tom, being uncomfortable when they’re all in the same room together. The Countess also did not have a good look this season. The Countess claims she knew the first week that Tom would be her next husband. They talk about her losing her title when she gets married and discuss the debate over the number of dates Ramona went on with Tom. Ramona gives us a detailed run down of all of their dates. Andy has to explain to The Countess why this might be an issue that Tom is contradicting Ramona. Bethenny says he lied. Tom said they’d only been out in a group setting and she saw them out together.

Wait for it…

Ramona brings out her evidence. A drawing Tom did of a heart on her hand with their initials. Ramona says he was trying to woo her. Ha-ha! Who uses that word? Bethenny asks if The Countess knows what a lie is and The Countess says he wasn’t lying. Andy interjects that he said he never went out with her when they were on the boat. The Countess tells everyone to back off. A viewer asks about Sonja’s relationship with Tom. Sonja says she never expected more and she thought Tom was a perennial bachelor. Sonja says she cares about The Countess more than Tom, but she was upset about the dear john text. The Countess claims to know he only slept with Sonja once. Andy asks how she can believe that when he lied about Ramona. The Countess says it’s not a big deal and she trusts and loves him. Andy asks how long she’s been friends with Sonja and she says eight years Bethenny asks how she can think Sonja is lying. The Countess says Sonja doesn’t remember how she gets home, how can she remember how many times she slept with Tom? Nasty. Ramona says she sees a lot of red flags and is concerned about The Countess. The Countess says it, and I cringe – they’re soulmates. She says it’s a big deal because Tom hasn’t been married before. That should be a HUGE red flag right there. I f a man his age hasn’t been married before, there’s a reason. Sonja gives The Countess a hug and The Countess says she hopes Sonja finds someone to marry. Why is this a necessity?

Andy asks why The Countess didn’t say anything to Ramona and Sonja when she started dating Tom. She says she wanted to be sure about Tom first. Carole calls girl code breach. More evidence! Ramona pulls out an article that she thinks Tom planted. The Countess says it was before they met. Ramona tells her if she’s going to lie, at least be consistent.

Andy brings up the awkwardness on the boat, but The Countess refuses to believe there was any. Sonja says she tried to break the ice with Tom by saying how cute he and The Countess were together. She says when she subsequently saw Tom, he basically told her that if she didn’t agree they were only together once, she wouldn’t be invited to the wedding. Dorinda wonders why The Countess wants to marry Tom at this point. Andy asks if everyone thinks she’ll go through with it.

Next time – Reunion Part Three – Bethenny calls Dorinda “the village idiot,” Ramona knows something else about Tom, and Sonja walks out.

Just sayin’ – I love Michael Rapaport. On Watch What Happens Live, he said Jacqueline (Real Housewives of New Jersey) is vicious and shouldn’t have been attacking Teresa, who was fresh out of the clink.