Tag Archives: Then & Now

June 21, 2017 – a Bump in the Puerto Rican Night, Ramona in a Ponytail, Chef Battles & Rearview Mirrors

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Laura, Doc, and Spencer go to Kelly’s. Spencer says it’s kind of Doc to accommodate him, but he still wants what he had at Windemere. He thinks Charlotte should be embarrassed to call Valentin her father.

Lulu and Charlotte bring Dante’s phone to the station. Charlotte says it looks like the same place where Valentin made the video. Lulu says it is, and Charlotte wonders why, since he’s not a policeman.

Quinn tells Nathan and Amy that pictures are the best sales tool they have. She says traffic on the website spiked as soon as his picture went up. They want to approach the book the same way.  His eyes command attention, and attention turns to sales. Nathan says they can’t use his picture.

Jason leaves another message for Sonny, but gets cut off. My mistake, it’s not Kirby; it’s Garvey who’s after Sonny. I can’t help it if he’s one of those interchangeable characters who looks like a Kirby.

Carly and Sonny get caught in the rain. She wants to put something dry on, but he tells her she looks great as is.

Quinn says a new author like Nathan is in no position to make demands. Amy says he doesn’t think of himself as an author, just a typical guy giving advice. People feel more comfortable approaching him from behind a keyboard. Quinn says his face is the book, but Nathan says it’s about offering people sound guidance. She says no picture, no publisher; his face is the brand.

Nina gives Nelle some instructions. She says it’s a lot of work because they’re so backed up, but if an article holds Nelle’s interest, bring it to her attention. Nina notices a bracelet Nelle has on that Charlotte made out of macaroni. She has one too.

Dante sits Charlotte on his desk. He asks if she remembers what happened at the Nurses Ball. She says everyone was scared. Lulu says Valentin had to answer some questions about it, so he made the video there too. Dante says there are other people who have questions, and he went to answer them. Charlotte says then he’ll come back like he promised.

Jason thinks he should call Max, but Sam isn’t too sure. Jason is having enough trouble convincing them he’s out of the business. Michael knocks on the door. He has paperwork for Jason; they’re reorganizing the family trust. Jason tells him that Sonny’s phone keeps dropping out of service. Michael says that he and Carly are in Puerto Rico, and to try the landline. He asks if it’s important, and Jason says it could be.

Sonny makes a fire, and the rain is REALLY LOUD. So LOUD, I can barely hear them. Lightning strikes, and Carly jumps into Sonny’s arms. She says sorry, it seemed so close. The electricity goes out, but he says the storm shouldn’t last too long. She reminds him of when they were trapped for four days, and he said it was only going to be a couple of hours. She says it was one of her favorite times there. She lights some candles, and he talks about the time they taught the boys to play poker. She says that Sonny almost folded to let Morgan win.

Nathan tells Quinn that he appreciates the meeting, and Amy asks to confer with her client. In the hallway, Nathan tells Amy that he wants to help, but he can’t let her put his face on the book. Amy says she has a fix, but he says he can’t do his job with people thinking he’s an advice columnist. She asks him to let her try and save the deal. He says as long as his face doesn’t end up on a book cover. Amy tells Quinn they’ll do the photo shoot.

Spencer asks if anyone has been back to Windemere, but Laura wants to talk about something more pleasant. Spencer wants to address the issue of his stolen inheritance, but she says it wasn’t stolen. Doc explains about the will, and how the estate went to Valentin. Spencer lost his claim when Stavros died. They didn’t realize it, but it’s always belonged to Valentin. Spencer asks why Valentin didn’t claim it before, and Laura says it was only made known after Helena died. He asks what happens if Valentin goes to prison, and Laura tells him that Nina will probably decide.

Nina says she keeps telling herself it’s for the best; Lulu is Charlotte’s biological mother, and it might confuse her. Nelle says that isn’t true. She got to see the family up close, and Charlotte adores her. Nina says she did, but she’s living with Lulu now. Nelle thinks it’s best for Nina to stay in Charlotte’s life; there’s nothing confusing about a mom and a stepmom. Nina says Lulu wouldn’t be happy with it, but Nelle says Charlotte’s happiness is more important than Lulu’s comfort level.

Jason tells Michael that an old associate might be coming after Sonny. Michael wonders why Julian would say anything, and Sam says he claims that he’s trying to be better person, even though they don’t believe it. Michael says he’ll give Max the guy’s name, and have him tighten security. Jason asks if he’s sure that’s all. Michael promises that he’s not going anywhere near his father’s business, but that brings him to other reason he’s here. He asks if Jason wants to join him at ELQ.

Carly and Sonny drink to the best hurricane he can remember. She tells Sonny that he makes strong drinks, and he says they just have to relax and wait out the storm. She says it’s better than waiting at the airport. They both hear some noise outside, and Carly asks, what’s that? Sonny tells her to stay there and he’ll check.

Amy tells Quinn that they’ll do the shoot on Nathan’s terms. They’re not to show his face full to the camera. They want to preserve the mystery, so he’s in a shadow and only one eye is shown. Quinn says the customer needs a reason to pick up the book in the first place, and Amy says, exactly. A man’s face is in the shadow, with one brilliant blue eye showing; it makes them curious pick up the book, and it’s sold. Quinn says they’ll do it her way.

Lulu says there are new things Charlotte is getting used to, like thinking of them as family. Charlotte says papa and Nina are family too. Lulu says he had to go away, and truthfully, none of them know when he’s coming back, but she has plenty of people who love her. Charlotte says sometimes Spencer isn’t nice, and Lulu says that Charlotte can always come to her.

Nina looks at the family photo on her desk. Nelle comes into the office, and says she found something Nina might like. It’s a backstage account of a fashion show from an anonymous dresser. Nina likes a new point of view, and says she’ll read it. She asks Nelle to pick up a quinoa/kale salad that Kelly’s makes special for her, and tells Nelle to get lunch for herself too.

Michael talks about sustainable energy sources getting pushed back from Ned, and how he needs someone to get accurate feedback on the profitability. He tells Jason that there’s a lot of travel involved. Jason says he has no experience, but Michael says he’s a problem solver. When going over qualifications for a project manager, he realized Jason would be perfect.

Carly picks up a fireplace poker, and almost hits Sonny. He says good thing he checked. An intruder is outside, and it’s no one she wants to mess with. I’m thinking it’s a racoon or something.

Michael needs someone he can trust, and can’t think of anyone better, but Jason says it’s not the right time. He says Michael will need him to be away, and he’s been away enough. Sam says they can make it work. Michael gets a text from Nelle wanting to meet at Kelly’s, and he replies that he’s on his way. Sam asks if there’s a time limit, and Michael tells her the middle of next month. She asks if they can think about it for a couple of days, and he says okay, but needs to fill the position asap. He leaves, and Jason asks if she’s trying to get rid of him. Sam says that she wants him to have a challenge not involving Sonny

Carly says that parrot is still here? It’s Tito, the mean escape artist parrot. She asks if he’s okay with a rogue parrot that scared her to death, and tries to bite the guests. Sonny asks why she’s so jumpy.

Jason didn’t realize that Sam was still worried about Sonny. She says he seems fixated on warning him, and turned Michael down without even thinking about it. She wonders if he’s worried that he’ll be away if something happens to Sonny.

Quinn says once contracts are signed, they’ll schedule the photo shoot. She thinks it has mass appeal, and Man Landers is compelling. She’s overnighting the contracts. In the hallway, Amy is thrilled. She thinks the mystery man thing works for them, and thanks Nathan for trusting her and not walking out. She says it’s a huge deal for her and her brother, and hugs him.

Spencer asks what Nina has to do with it; a virtual stranger gets to decide the fate of Windemere? Laura says Valentin’s team of lawyers are probably hashing it out, and he asks if it wasn’t Shakespeare who said kill all the lawyers? He goes to bathroom, and Laura tells Doc that she was hoping boarding school would reign in his behavior. Doc says it helps create distance between him and his grief, and he keeps control with things as they were. Laura thanks him, and he says it’s been a blessing. They’ve fulfilled his life in ways he never imagined. They kiss.

Michael asks Nelle what the good news is, and she tells him about the job at Crimson. She says he was right. The bird pooping on her shoulder might have been good luck, and she thinks things are turning around.

Amy understands what an imposition it is, and how Nathan isn’t comfortable, but Nathan says he’s glad to help. She says Chet would do the same in his position, because he’s a good person. He says he’s doing it for her.

Michael asks how Nelle decided on fashion publication, and Nelle says it decided on her. She thinks it’s going to be a good fit. Michael says they have to celebrate. She says she’s just there to pick up lunch. He says ELQ is sponsoring a concert in park, and asks her to go with him.

Sam says she’d know Jason was safe if he worked for Michael. He says he’ll be right here, and not overseas working for Sonny or troubleshooting for ELQ. He says he doesn’t regret leaving Sonny’s business. He says he’s worried though, and wants to fly down. She says he can’t

Sonny tells Carly to relax. She says everywhere she looks, she sees the boys and goes over memories. She says the four of them were together, and there was enough time for everything. Sonny says time ran out. They look sadly at each other.

Nathan asks if Charlotte is joining the PCPD, but Lulu says they’re headed to Lila’s Kids. Dante says thanks for the phone, and asks how Nathan is.

Nelle asks if it’s a date, and Michael asks if they’re allowed. She says yes, and tells him she’ll see him later.

Doc thinks Spencer’s been gone a long time, and goes to check. Nelle says hello to Laura, and asks how Charlotte is. Laura says she’s enjoying Lila’s Kids, especially the arts and crafts. Doc comes back, saying that Spencer is gone.

Spencer walks into Nina’s office. He asks if he’s addressing Nina Reeves or Nina Cassadine, and says they need to talk.

Sam says Jason claimed he didn’t want to be part of the business. He says he just wants Sonny to know there’s a threat. Sam says she’s coming with him.

Carly tells Sonny that she sees Morgan everywhere on the island, and the worst thing that could happen really happened. Sonny says their son is gone. Carly says that no matter how happy you are, it’s just a moment that can disappear. He tells her thinking that way robs them of what they have right now. he says maybe they can be happy again. They kiss. Someone lurks in the shadows.

Tomorrow, Laura looks for Spencer, Jordan wants to cool things off with Curtis, and Sam isn’t letting Jason out of her sight.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Carole meets Tinsley for breakfast. Tinsley says her mother is coming to town, and accompanying her to look for apartments. They talk about going to the NY Botanical Garden Winter Wonderland Ball, and Carole looks up the pictures online, using her phone. Tinsley is happy to be in the press for something good. She says she’s glad to be back in the swing of things, and that she’s still going to counseling for what happened to her. Carole says she should redefine herself, starting with cutting her hair. In her interview, Carole says reinvention is not repetition. Tinsley says she’s not changing her look or her life.

Sonja packs for her trip, while Frenchie makes hors d’oevres. He’s going to be spending part of his time in Paris. Sonja says she doesn’t like when he walks in on her in the bathroom, and he tells her she should close the door. She says Tinsley keeps saying she’s leaving, but she wants to make sure that Tinsley is comfortable back in the city first. Sonja talks to Frenchie about how the girls are gossiping. Frenchie says he doesn’t like that they make a bigger deal out of Rocco than he is. In her interview, Sonja says she has a good time with Rocco, and until she doesn’t, she’s going to see him.

Ramona facetimes with Ashley. She’s proud of herself for redecorating without a decorator. I had to do that after we had a flood, and didn’t think it was that huge of an accomplishment. She’s having a sort of housewarming party, and invited Bethenny, wanting to bridge the gap. Ashley thinks she should give it space, and then try to straighten it out for the sake of their play friend group.

Tinsley and realtor friend Chris meet with her mother, Dale. Chris shows them a four-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment that’s only nine grand a month. Tinsley says her mother has no idea what downtown is, and thinks Manhattan is only the Upper East Side. They move on.

Carole’s friend/interior designer, John, arrives. She wants to get her 60-year-old couch recovered. She dumps fabric swatches out of a tote bag. John thinks cat-friendly is the way to go. Adam shows up, and Carole gives him some of the stuff he left behind. In her interview, she says things are going much better now that Adam has moved out, since she lives in a tiny apartment. Her definition of tiny being different from mine. The disagree over who owns a Buddha head. Omg, this is so high school.

Dale is much more approving of the next apartment. It is pretty impressive, and also nine thousand a month. Chris thinks it’s more bang for her buck and much more “her.” Tinsley is afraid of moving too fast, but won’t feel like she’s really back until she has her own place. She starts to get teary, and Dale suggests staying at a hotel. The apartment has its own elevator, and I want to cry.

Frederik visits Bethenny’s loft, and says that it smells cleaner. We flash back to him telling her it’s too cluttered. He thinks it looks a lot better and you can breathe now. He says get rid of the bar and they’ll get five and a quarter (million). Bethenny has spent a lot on the bar, and is concerned about it breaking if they try to move it.

Carole calls Dorinda, asking if she’s packed for Washington, where they’re going to protest at the Women’s March. They’re leaving in the morning. Carole is taking her lucky monkey.

Sonja meets Rocco at a bar and bakery. He tells her that Frank Sinatra practically lived there. In her interview, Sonja says she’s between a Rocco and a hard place. Since Frenchie knows about Rocco, she now has to tell Rocco about Frenchie. Rocco has had the place closed so that they can have dinner privately. They discuss Tom, and Rocco says he cheated when he was young. Sonja starts to stammer, and tells him about taking a complete stranger home one night. She thought he was going back to Paris, but now he’s smitten with her. She dances around the fact that he’s moved in. She tells Rocco that there aren’t any more guys in her life like either one of them. If I didn’t know what she was saying, I would have no idea what she was saying. Rocco says anyone can have sex, but friendship is important. In her interview, Sonja says Frenchie is possibly an infatuation, while Rocco is in it for the long haul. Rocco asks where she thinks it’s going with them, and Sonja answers without answering. They toast to the next kiss.

Dorinda and Carole march. We see lots of pink hats. Dorinda’s daughter, Hannah, joins them as well. Carole says she wants to hold this administration accountable, and feels they’re standing on the right side of history. Dorinda feels like a better person for being involved, and says this is huge. Hannah is proud to be a woman. It’s all well and good, but sounds like the Occupy Wall Street thing, where the protesters never really said what they were protesting about. Today’s word for this whole episode is, vague.

Tinsley wants to get rid of the tattoo of her husband’s initials, and her friend Anika says she didn’t even take her ex’s last name. Ha-ha! Ramona gets ready for her party. She has a cool flat screen TV where a non-Yule log is burning. Carole thinks Ramona is more traditional than the apartment reflects, and that she’s sporting an I Dream of Jeannie vibe. Dale compliments Ramona on her high ponytail. Dorinda presents her with a candle. Harry arrives. Ramona thinks she’s the only one he hasn’t dated. He asks about Sonja, who’s late. Tinsley has known him forever, but wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. He makes inappropriate comments and follows her.

Sonja blows in. She’s not drinking again, and goes the other way when she sees Harry. Too late; he’s seen her. She tells him she’s turned a new leaf, and he’s in Paris. Everyone makes small talk. Luann is happy that everyone is happy for her and Tom. She assumes Bethenny isn’t coming, and Dorinda says that Ramona and Bethenny aren’t talking. Ramona says she did invite Bethenny, but she RSVP’d she wasn’t coming. In her interview, Ramona thinks the RSVP is a step forward. Carole suggest that Ramona call or text privately, but Ramona wanted to show there were no hard feelings – even though Bethenny was “as bad as [she] was.” Here comes that backhand. She tells Carole she doesn’t remember exactly what she said, and Carole tells her that she’d had too much to drink. Dorinda says she uses alcohol as an excuse all the time. Ha-ha! Ramona says she loves Bethenny, and does want to apologize. Harry bugs Sonja.

Ramona says she wasn’t really thinking when she made up the guest list. Missy, who’d thought she was dating Tom and walked in on him with Luann, is there. Tom tells Luann that Missy is happy for them. In her interview, Luann says it’s healthy to be friends with your exes. Harry pumps Missy for the deets, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Dorinda vogues. Sonja says that Ramona is a pot stirrer, like we didn’t know, and that Ramona has been telling her what everything cost. They hear something crash in another room, and Sonja calls out, $12.99!

Next time, Bethenny wants to go snowboarding, Tinsley goes to therapy, and Dorinda comes for Sonja at yet another dinner fail.

🍲 On MasterChef, lifeguards were fed, but I was left with the question of wth is a purple green bean? If it’s purple, how can it be green? I have to admit to being a little happy when contestant Jennifer’s pork was undercooked. She’s a debt collector who claims her job is stressful, but I’ll bet it’s not nearly as stressful as it is for the people she hounds. Gordon basically said she let a setback cause her to “disintegrate.” Sadly, the balcony got polled, and she got to stay. She seems like a real jerk who can barely form a sentence, so there’s hope for more mistakes.

🎣 The challenge teams on The f Word were Slaw & Order (cops from Peachtree, GA – a gorgeous town) vs the The Food Bosses (a family who moved from the big city to a simpler life in rural TN). They made a New York strip steak with a dry rub, sautéed mushrooms, and potatoes. Andy Cohen had a cook-off with Gordon, and although I missed what they were cooking, Andy burned it. He doesn’t exactly strike me as the chef type. More like a Seamless customer. Joel McKale did some grilling, and Gordon did some scuba diving. He caught and cooked some spiky Caribbean pest fish that don’t belong in Islamorada, Florida, but make a tasty meal. Leslie Jones (love her! and she looks fantastic!) discussed grits and other food with Gordon. She also did a guess-the-food game, and we’ve all been forewarned that we probably don’t want to eat durian fruit. Or grasshoppers.

Gordon periodically checks with the diners about the team challenge, and I laughed when one said the potatoes were like something he’d make in the middle of the night when he was drunk. Personally, that’s when I prefer a can of Chef Boyardee anything. On Father’s Day, Gordon and daughter Mathilda challenged the world record holders, the McCurdys, for the number of eggs cracked with one hand. No shells in the glass, and one hand behind the back. I might be good for two or three. Maybe one. The McCurdys kept their title, bringing up their total as well. The Food Bosses won the challenge by a narrow margin. Next week, Gordon goes undercover again, and on a lake trip.

⌛ Andy Cohen: Then & Now brought us Being Rich: the 80s tonight, and how those spending habits then affect us now. Erika Girardi explained that money only brings out who you really are – if you’re a poor a-hole, you’ll be a rich a-hole. Mega-mansions; Donald Trump’s golden penthouse; the Playboy mansion (purchased in the 70s for one million), which Mauricio Umansky just sold for $100 million to Hugh Hefner’s neighbor, under the proviso that Hugh gets to live there in perpetuity, which is a scary thought; and Lisa Vanderpump’s Villa Rosa (Giggy’s house!). They’ve downsized since then, but she told us that as long as she and Ken have their own bathrooms, they’ll stay married. I understand. Kyle Richards said that today it’s all about the “smart house,” but I say no thanks. I’ve read Ray Bradbury’s short stories. A parade of amazing weddings came next. Carson Kressley weighed in on the topic, and I noticed he was wearing some seriously distressed jeans with a nice sportcoat, tie and pocket square. Shame on him. Larry Fortensky, the first trophy husband, is discussed, and it’s pointed out that while lavish weddings were once the thing, now it’s secret weddings a la Adele or Branjelina. Body maintenance was kept a secret in the 80s, but not really. One of Andy’s guests suggested that one day we’ll be able to download our soul into the cloud, and I almost fell off my chair laughing. Pre-nups! The Cat Lady! Who, btw, got billions in alimony, with the caveat that she can’t use any of it on plastic surgery. Greed is good, and Silicon Valley rich vs hedge fund rich. Bill Gates is worth $86 billion today, just in case you were wondering. Private jets, limos and yachts, and Robin Leach revealing that the most outrageous limo had a landing pad, hot tub, and a putting green. It was all about exclusivity and excess. Ah, the good old days. I miss them, and I’ll miss this show, as it’s the season finale. I love a good retrospective.

RearviewMirror

May 24, 2017 – Don’t Touch the Chimera, NYC Returns to the Berkshires & Two Times the Andy

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Sonny arrives at the Nurses Ball, and Ava wants to jet. He asks why she’s leaving when the party just started.

Lulu asks Josslyn if she’s nervous. She says she is, but keeps reminding herself it’s for a worthy cause. She thought that Carly had said Sonny wasn’t coming, and Carly says he must have changed his mind.

Jason finds the chimera necklace on the floor. Anna accosts Valentin about the Chimera Project. He sees Nina hug Curtis.

Charlotte asks if the Chimera martini shaker is part of the act. and what does it do?  Jake says it’s powerful magic. He tells Charlotte that it’s a surprise, and not to touch it.

In the hospital, Nelle stirs. Kiki asks if she needs anything. Barely conscious, Nelle says, Michael.

Sonny says he has a problem with everything Ava does, and a big one with what she did to Morgan. Scotty comes to her rescue, and escorts her back to the table. Dante asks Sonny what that was about.

Lulu tells Laura that Charlotte is going to be one of Jake’s assistants.

Vaelentin tells Anna that the Chimera is gathering dust where it’s not a threat. Anna, on the other hand, has been one to his marriage and his life. He slides into the seat next to Nina while Lucy talks.

Sam asks Jason what’s wrong, and he shows her the necklace.

Lucy asks if we’re ready for female trouble with a capital T. Emma, Valerie, Amy 2.0 and Kristina perform Brave. Emma is quite a young lady now. I can’t help wondering when they all practiced, especially Emma. It’s a hit. Lucy encourages everyone to bid in the silent auction.

Bobbie sits at Carly’s table. She’s surprised about Sonny showing up, but Carly says the cause is important to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Morgan is gone, and Ava is trading on his name to make herself look good.

Kiki calls Michael. She says she needs to talk to his grandmother. Nelle is doing okay, but could use a friend.

Jason asks Sam if she really thinks it’s a coincidence. Sam wonders if Jake brought it, and Jason says, who else? Who else, indeed. Like any one of five people.

Emma and Charlotte wonder how they can assist, when they can’t even touch the magic trick. Jake says no one else knows how the magic works – only him.

Anna calls Robert, and tells him how proud she is of Emma. She’s not calling about that though. She asks what the Chimera actually does. After he tells her (we don’t hear it), she wonders how it ever got created in the first place.

Valentin asks if Nina is going to ignore him. Curtis thinks he should go back to his own table. Valentin says not without his wife, and begs Nina not to shut him out.

Anna approaches Andre. He says he’s having a good time, and wants to keep it that way. She explains that the person who offended him was her sister.

Nina tells Valentin that she has nothing to say. Valentin says she’s right, the time for talking is over. He gets up.

Valentin goes to Lucy’s dressing room. She says she’s happy about his donation, but it doesn’t cancel out that he shot Doc. He says he wants to up his donation to seven figures. Lucy asks him in exchange for what?

Sonny isn’t going to stop until he finds out how Morgan died. Dante says they know. Sonny says explain the pills then, and tells him about the dosage difference. He says Andre checked with the pharmacy, and Morgan was given the correct dosage. He’s going to find out what happened. Meanwhile, Andre calls the lab.

Valerie forgot her lipstick, and Kristina gives her a commercial for Burt’s Bees. Valerie says it’s perfect, and Kristina says it moisturizes as well. It is nice stuff.

Jason asks Elizabeth where Jake is. He shows her the necklace. Elizabeth wonders if someone gave it to him. No, he bought it himself. Geez. Jake asks what’s going on, and if they’re talking about him.

Valerie asks Jordan and Curtis if they’re enjoying the night, and Jordan compliments her on her performance. When she’s gone, Curtis tells Jordan that’s one way to show you’ve moved on. He tells Nina he hopes she took notes, because she needs to move on from Valentin. She’s not sure she wants to.

Lucy says Obrecht is unable to perform. We hear something that sounds like a bunch of pots and pans clattering backstage. She says they have someone just as rich…er, good. Valentin says this is for his wife, because he loves her. He sits at the piano. She’s mesmerized, and so am I. I can’t tell if it’s really him playing, but if not, they did a nice job with editing that. He sings Billy Joel’s And So It Goes. If Nina doesn’t want him, I’ll take him. Lucy introduces Valentin after the fact, and thanks him. Her dresses are fantastic – kind of nude, with lots of sparkles in strategic places. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day.

Anna leaves, and Nina tries to follow. Curtis stops her, and tells her not to do this to herself; it’s not worth it. Anna asks Valentin to tell her what she needs to know.

Lulu (whose dress matches Charlotte’s) asks if Charlotte isn’t going to get ready, but she doesn’t think there’s going to be an act. Jason asks Jake if he’s seen the necklace before. He asks if it’s Jake’s, but Jake doesn’t say anything. He tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t feel good. Elizabeth asks if he just has stage fright, and Franco offers to go on stage with him. Elizabeth tells him that he doesn’t have to do what he doesn’t want to.

Dante tells Sonny that he has to talk to Ava and Lucy again. Sonny asks why Dante didn’t tell him that Ava was at The Floating Rib the night of the robbery. Dante says it could be a coincidence.

Carly wonders where Michael is. Josslyn tells her that Michael said something came up, and left. She jets before Carly can ask what came up.

Michael is at the hospital. Kiki tells him that Nelle asked for him. He pulls a chair next to her bed.

Dante says that when Ava’s name is mentioned, Sonny gets reckless. He suggests that Sonny and Ava stay away from each other. Sonny tells Dante he’ll be fine, and Lulu is probably wondering what happened to him. Dante goes back to his table, and Andre tells Sonny that there’s trace evidence of an inert substance in the pill bottle. It’s possible that the crumbled pill was a placebo. We won’t go over all the reasons that’s not how any of this works.

Valentin tells Anna, don’t. He says she and her sister have jeopardized everything he loves. Even worse, he let her, reverting back to what he was, a stuttering Richard III hunchback. He says the only things that matter are his wife and daughter, and if he ever mattered to her, let him alone.

Jake asks if Elizabeth is sure that he doesn’t have to perform; what I something bad happens? Elizabeth says the worst that can happen is they leave early, and everyone is cool with that. Jake is like, okay, no magic show.

Carly wonders what Sonny is doing there, and what he wanted with Ava. I’m totally distracted by Ava’s earrings; I want them so much.

Sonny says, Morgan was taking a placebo? and Andre says that would explain things. Sonny says someone set him up, tampering with his medication so he’d have a breakdown. And he’s going to find out who.

Ava is worried, but Scotty says he covered her tracks. No way is Sonny finding out.

Lucy says it’s a special thrill to introduce a newcomer.

Michael’s phone rings. He asks if it’s time. Josslyn asks why he thought it was a good idea. He tells her that his little sister is a rock star, and he wants everyone to know. He says he’s with her, and so is Nelle.

Lucy introduces Josslyn. Michael puts the phone on speaker. I don’t know the song (and couldn’t find it on Google), but the crowd goes wild. Sonny and Carly give each other a soap opera stare.

Franco says maybe Jake could perform at home. Elizabeth asks where the magic box is.

Charlotte says perhaps she and Emma can do the magic act. They open the box. She says they’ll start with the Chimera martini shaker.

Jason tells Sam that he didn’t like Jake’s reaction to the necklace. Sam wants to go home, but tells him to stay. Griff comes by, and asks if he’s seen Emma. He asks what Jason is doing with Anna’s necklace.

Anna says she understands that Valentin wants to leave past behind, but they’re jeopardizing the people they love. He tells her that the only person who knows about it, is dead. She asks who it is, and he says he sold it to Helena. Like this is a huge surprise.

Charlotte doesn’t know how to open the Chimera. She presses a button on it, and blue lights start flashing.

Nelle says that Michael missed Josslyn’s performance, but he says he just listened to it. He tells her that Josslyn backed him up in coming there.

Ava tells Scotty that she never meant for anything bad to happen; she just did it to protect Kiki. Scotty says doesn’t matter. Morgan is dead. Case closed.

Carly asks Sonny why he’s there. He tells her that he finally has answers about Morgan.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Valentin asks Lulu if there’s a problem, Scotty says Ava has to get out, Anna calls Robert, and Jake tries to stop the Chimera. I’m guessing that Obrecht is going to free herself from whatever closet Lucy and Valentin trapped her in, and it’s going to go off during her performance. Along with Lucy’s clothes coming off.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona is downtown. Carole’s kittens hang from the curtains. Dorinda is packing for the Berkshires.

Bethenny meets with her real estate guy, Frederik Eklund. (Million Dollar Listing: New York premieres tomorrow.) He’s checking out the apartment that she’s getting ready to sell, and she says it’s bittersweet. Frederik lusts after her shoe collection. Me too. And the humongous closet the shoes are in. Frederick tells her they need to de-clutter de-personalize.

Ramona drops by Carole’s place. She starts moving things around on the coffee table, and critiquing Carole’s way of placing things. I’d smack her. They talk about Dorinda’s party, and Luann’s upcoming wedding. Carole says Tom acts more like the bride than Luann.

While walking the dog, Tom and Luann discuss a honeymoon. She suggests South Africa. In her interview, Luann says she loves being married. She’s trying to get used to saying “our” again. Tom complains about gaining weight.

Carole tells Ramona that she thinks Luann is having second thoughts. She says that someone told her that all is not as it seems. We revisit the scene where Barbara is telling Carole that she thinks Luann would rather go through with it and get divorced later. Which, btw, Barbara is seriously miffed about, since she claims she didn’t know it would be on the show. Please. Barbara must be a full-blown idiot. Carole says maybe Luann is just having last minute jitters, but thinks the conversation should be had. Ramona says that she got a text from someone who used to date Tom, and he recently tried to be sexually aggressive with her. She called Tom a “dirty dog,” and said she didn’t think she was the only one he’s groping. Carole wonders if Luann cares. Ramona asks if they’re bad friends if they don’t tell her – or if they do tell her. She reminds Carole about what happened in Miami. We flash back to that, and she says it’s not just one kiss. Carole says maybe Luann is confiding in Dorinda, and Ramona thinks they should talk to her.

It’s Christmas in the Berkshires again. Dorinda messes with some giant balls (hush) that light up. We flash back to the last holiday dinner there, when Dorinda made it nice. She’s going to be more strategic this time, and invite the women in different groups over the course of three days. And yes, Sonja is invited this year.

Sonja thinks she’s cool because she’s in the first group and “invited early.” She arrives with Ramona. Tinsley is also coming after meeting her mother for lunch.

Tinsley’s mother asks if she’s happy in NYC. She’s brought Tinsley’s father’s ashes because she’s taking them to Florida, and Tinsley might want to say good-by. I would have hoped Tinsley had done that already, since he’s been gone for two years. Tinsley gets a drink from the mini-bar. She talks about her mother’s hugs being relative to her weight as a child, and in her interview, says that Southern mothers are particularly critical of their children. They talk about Sonja. Tinsley’s mother hopes Tinsley is appreciative, since Tinsley is sponging off of her.

Sonja complains about Tinsley not making coffee and excluding her when she goes out. Dorinda says she knows a lot about Tinsley’s past, but not who she is today. She thinks Tinsley needs to open up, and hopes over time that she trusts them more.

Tinsley’s mom wants her to have a baby, but Tinsley says she’s not just going to pluck some random guy out. They talk about Tinsley’s dating life.

Dorinda wants the girls to help decorate. She takes her tree seriously, and says it’s a religion. She gives detailed instructions on how the lights should be placed.

Adam’s parents, David and Lola, are in town, and Carole is accompanying them to find Christmas presents for Adam. In her interview, Carole says it didn’t take her two minutes to win Lola over, and parents love her. She says they want grandkids, and Adam wants kids, but she’s not going to be the one having them, since she’s 200 years old. She says what it means for the relationship is still to be determined. David acts exhausted, even though he hasn’t done anything except go along for the ride.

Tinsley gets to the Berkshires. In her interview, she says her mother told her you can never have enough Christmas decorations, but she thinks Dorinda is secretly Mrs. Claus. She does have a lot of them. Sonja picks on Tinsley for having lunch elsewhere. Tinsley keeps explaining that it was her mother.

It’s Dorinda’s birthday. She wants to show Tinsley her cake, but even though it says, “open here,” it’s the wrong side, and the cake has toppled. Dorinda says, enough wine, and the cake will be beautiful. Amen, sister!

Bethenny tells the driver no hookers, because they might have to peel out at midnight. She and Carole act like five-year-olds walking in, but Carole says she thinks the third time is the charm. Dennis has sent Bethenny flowers at Dorinda’s because he knows she needs floral therapy in the Berkshires. She’s just hoping Ramona leaves her alone.

Carole talks to Bethenny alone about Luann. Bethenny wonders if there’s any way they can get her out of it. Luann obviously doesn’t care or doesn’t want to know, so I’m not sure why these women keep wanting to get involved. Unless Andy Cohen is standing there with a pitchfork. I used to think Jeff Probst was the antichrist until Andy came along.

Bethenny says it was reliable information last year, and the same source has it that Tom is straying again. Carole says Bethenny is like the cautionary tale for a whirlwind romance. Bethenny agrees, but says hers wasn’t as bad at this point in time. Bethenny wants to be on a group tag team to tell Luann, as she was on her own in Miami.

Omg, Dorinda has a fat little dog named Lucy who is just precious. The ladies mess with the fireplace, and try to burn down Dorinda’s house by not opening the flue. They sit down for drinks, and Dorinda says that Luann is rock solid about getting married. Carole says she’s heard differently. Ramona says she doesn’t want Luann to be the last to know. In her interview, Dorinda wishes they could talk about someone else. Ramona reads the texts she received. Dorinda hopes they’re taking it the wrong way. Bethenny says the cracks become craters. She says her situation didn’t even start the same way, and look how it ended up. In her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t want to hear it, but now she’s obligated to say something, so Luann can either leave, stay, or shoot someone. She asks the other women to be with her because she’s afraid.

Dorinda thinks all she’ll get is anger, but Carole says she’s being a good friend. Luann arrives while the ladies are setting out the materials for cookie decorating. Bethenny asks about Luann’s dress, and if she’s all set. Luann talks to Tinsley about finding her own place. Tinsley says Sonja talks smack behind her back, and Luann says welcome to the club. Tinsley tells the ladies that she can’t even talk to Sonja’s assistant without it being a problem. Sonja says she can’t have him doing errands, and she has to treat him professionally. Tinsley claims that she only asked him once to take a package for her. Ramona tells her to face it, she can’t do anything right. Sonja makes up stupid scenarios that could have happened if her assistant dared open the door for Tinsley’s delivery. No way would I live with this woman. No wonder Tinsley ditches her.

Bethenny tells Carole that she’s glad Ramona is keeping her distance. She thinks everyone told Ramona how foolish she looked, and she’s trying to make up for it.

In private, Dorinda tells Luann the saga continues. She asks if Luann is happy, and if she believes Tom is done with other women. She tells Luann about the texts, and says she wanted to come to her directly. She asks if Luann trusts Tom. Luann says she trusts him 100%. She says they don’t check each other’s phones, and Dorinda admits to checking John’s phone, as well she should. Luann says she doesn’t care what anyone says. Dorinda tells her that as long as she doesn’t feel like she’s being pressured, it’s all good. In her interview, Dorinda says at the end of the day, it’s Luann that has to handle this. Luann wonders if the women don’t have anything better to do, and thinks they’re talking about her because they’re missing something in their own lives.

Luann tells Dorinda that Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends, trying to dig up dirt, and poof! Ramona appears.

Next time, two weeks until the wedding, Carole wonders why all these women want to kiss Tom, Bethenny refuses to make a toast, and Ramona and Bethenny have it out.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1990. George Michael’s Freedom video, supermodels, Vogue! The Fly Girls (whose inspiration was part hip-hop, part Ann Margaret), Nelson Mandela’s release, more realistic family sitcoms, Married with Children and Terry Rakolta, Twin Peaks, the first war live on TV (the Gulf War), Home Alone, and Sinead O’Connor shaving her head. The twist on this retrospective show, is that all of the main topics covered are tied to how they’ve influenced today. I like this show almost as much as CNN’s decades series. The biggest revelation this evening? RuPaul finds Ed O’Neill sexy.

🏖 Watch What Happens Live has been blessed with a few of the Beverly Hills Wives stopping by since they’re filming in LA this week. Lisa Vanderpump stopped by the other night with a batch of puppies and I almost passed out. Erika Jayne  dropped in tonight, and Kyle Richards also did a bit with Andy at the beginning of the show. Guest Bethenny Frankel was a hoot, spilling the tea where she could, and joining her, Eric Stonestreet was just delightful. James Kennedy (Vanderpump Rules) has been the house DJ, and Andy brought along the Gay Shark, who has acquired rainbow swim trunks for his trip to the West Coast. Tomorrow, Chelsea Handler is on. I’ll be watching, but she’s not a favorite of mine. I liked her original show when it first aired, but I saw her change over time, becoming more mean than funny. God forgive me, but I was glad when she cried over Hillary losing the election.

 

May 17, 2017 – Anna Has a Twin, Dorinda Hosts an Event, OUAT News, 1985 & an Opinion

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Carly tells Bobbie no way. She’s not hiring Scotty. She’s not that desperate. She says she’ll go from suing for divorce to death row in no time. Bobbie tells her that he does know his way around a courtroom.

Martina shows up at Sonny’s to say good-by.

Griff tells Michael it’s a good thing he was there to tell them Nelle only had one kidney.

Dante arrives home to find Charlotte playing with Rocco. Lulu says life is full of happy, unexpected surprises. I wonder when I’ll get one of those.

Valentin tells Nina that he promised when they took him away in handcuffs that he’d be back, and he was. Now he promises to put things back together. Nina says, until Anna comes back, and he says she’s not coming back.

Anna begs Sister Caroline for help. Dr. Lancaster asks what’s going on; he heard voices. He wants to know if “Alex” regained consciousness. Caroline says it was only her voice he heard; she was trying to get Alex to relax, since her heart rate was up. The doctor says if she becomes agitated or regains consciousness, call him immediately. Caroline says she always follows his instructions to the letter. As she closes the door, she says, except now. She asks Anna what’s going on.

Nina tells Valentin that Anna is a lying bitch who played on his vulnerabilities, but it doesn’t change that he lied to her. He says he hates himself, and they can’t not fix this. He’ll get her to trust him again. Nina says she can’t. He says maybe it all came too easy after a lifetime of sitting on the sidelines. He was afraid it would get taken away. She says it doesn’t matter any more. He tells her that if she’s worried he and Charlotte are going to leave her, they’re not. They both love her, and he’s going to spend his life convincing her. She tells him not to worry about her; worry about Charlotte.

The kids go to brush their teeth, and Dante asks Lulu how they got a sleepover. Lulu says she’s not sure Valentin knows. Nelle went AWOL, and the school couldn’t reach him, so they contacted her. Dante says Nina was vocal about Lulu not getting extra time, but Lulu says they couldn’t get her either. She tells Dante she isn’t sure Nina is going to be in the picture much longer. She got the impression that the marriage is over.

Michael asks Griff how Nelle is doing, but he doesn’t know much yet.

Andre is on the phone at the bar. He asks when the pharmacist will return from his family emergency. His patient’s family is depending on his cooperation in this matter.

Martina going back to Atlanta. Mission not accomplished, and she sees no point staying. Sonny gives her a drink, and says happy landings. She says bumpy ride so far. She hates leaving it like this, and he asks if she’s going to miss him. She says she’ll miss finishing what she started; she had him. The initial report just scratched the surface of his colorful life. He toasts to her being off the case, and Martina adds, and Carly not being the wiser.

Carly can’t figure it out. She thinks the conflict of interest with Martina is a cover-up. Bobbie says Sonny’s holdings are complex. Carly says they were holding hands. Bobbie tells her to use her time to find a new lawyer. She knows Carly is overwhelmed, but the only way through it is to keep on moving or she’ll get stuck in bitterness and hatred. She tells Carly get off her butt, and stop raging about Sonny. She says to stop beating around bush and get a divorce.

Martina tells Sonny that he has a lovely home, and good luck holding onto it. He says he’s good at holding on to things. She supposes Ava is neutralized. She says both he and Carly seem to despise her equally, and Sonny calls Ava a vicious snake. Martina wonders why Ava wouldn’t still use the information about them against him, but Sonny says she’s found it’s better to work with him than against him. Martina says it’s too bad that he and Carly can’t come to the same understanding.

Bobbie asks Carly why she’s using the tactic of holding on to Sonny’s assets, and Carly brings up Jax getting deported. Bobbie asks if she’s the karma police, and Carly says he has to pay. Bobbie says that she deserves peace and happiness, and she’s not going to get that from hurting Sonny. In the long run, Sonny won’t be the one hurt. Bobbie talks about the kids and how it’s taking a toll on them. Carly says she doesn’t want them going through that pain, and Bobbie tells her to make a clean, quick break, and put it in the rearview mirror.

At the hospital. Michael asks if he can see Nelle. The nurse says she’s not awake. He says maybe she’ll wake up if she sees someone cares about her. The nurse tells him she has to check on lab results – wink-wink. He thanks her, and when she’s gone, goes in to see Nelle, who is all hooked up to tubes and machines.

Nina tells Valentin what happened with Charlotte. He asks why she didn’t take Charlotte back to Windemere, and she says it’s not her home anymore. He asks if she thought making her point was more important than Charlotte, and she says that she thought she shouldn’t get into a fight with Lulu. She says she loves Charlotte, and would never do anything to harm her. Valentin says no matter how long it takes, he’s going to put their lives back together. She tells him to think of his daughter.

Dante reads Ferdinand to the kids. That was one of my favorites as a child. He realizes that they fell asleep. He’s surprised Lulu still awake, and she says she wouldn’t miss it.

Sonny tells Martina that he’s not looking for a war. Martina says she hopes he doesn’t end up finding one, and that he has the most to lose. He asks if he should he give Carly everything that’s his. He says Martina doesn’t know him, but she says she knows the road he’s headed down. He could lose everything; not just money, but his family, well-being, and sense of self. She says high profile divorce cases can be devastating. He says he already has a lawyer, and she asks if he’s set on friends. He says he’s not into absent friends (a toast!), and she says she’s not gone yet. As her first act of friendship, she says she’s returning this. It’s his wedding ring.

Griff gets Nelle’s test results. Carly walks in, yapping on the phone. He asks if she’s looking for Michael, and she says no, why?

Michael is busy talking to Nelle. He tells her she’s safe and at GH, and he’s going to see that she has the best care. He tells her he’s leaving, but won’t be far.

Anna sits up. Caroline comes in. She says not to get up. Anna doesn’t know where she is. Caroline tells her that she’s at Merrick Clinic, and she’s been there for two months. Anna says she has a blood disease, and Caroline says they know; the doctor has given her phlebotomy treatments. Anna doesn’t understand why she’s being held captive, but Caroline tells her not to exert herself. Anna says that Alex is her twin; they’re not close, and lead separate lives. I guess so. And I also guess I’m wrong about who fake Anna is. Dammit! They sure pulled that rabbit out of a hat. Caroline is confused. Anna asks why she’d need to be sedated all the time, and asks if Alex had a blood disease. When Caroline says no, Anna tells her to look up Anna Devane on the internet, and come back with a phone.

Lulu tells Dante that Charlotte asked for Nina and Valentin, and she told her she’d see them tomorrow. Dante says he’s glad she’s happy, but he’s waiting for the other shoe to fall. Lulu wonders what would keep Valentin from picking up Charlotte. The doorbell rings, and Dante says maybe they’re about to find out. Come on. Everyone had to have laughed when they read that the first time. Yep. Valentin is there for his daughter.

Martina tells Sonny that she found the ring while she was packing. She asks why he didn’t toss it overboard, and suggests he was hoping someone would find it. So if he got it back, he’d have to think twice about the divorce.

Nelle wakes up. Michael says he’ll get the doctor, but Griff is there already, and asks to speak privately with Nelle. Outside the room, Michael sees Carly. She says Griff told her about Nelle. He says she’s in bad shape, but would be worse if he hadn’t found her. Although she wouldn’t even be there if he hadn’t left.

Andre makes Nina a root beer float at the bar. She talks about loving them as a child when her father made them, and how she wasn’t close to him. She says that Valentin is a devoted father, but tells Andre that she can’t talk to him about it, since Anna is at the root of their problems. She asks how Anna bamboozled a smart man like him. How does she get smart, intelligent men to fall all over themselves, when all that’s there is a self-serving bitch who breaks up families? Andre says there’s more to her. Nina says there’s less. Take away the accent and manners, and she’s a cold blooded snake. He says that’s not the Anna he knows, and Nina says maybe he doesn’t know her.

Caroline comes back, but didn’t bring a phone. She says the doctor must have mistaken Anna for her sister. Anna says she was at her sister’s flat and blacked out. She thinks Alex drugged her. She says she doesn’t need to be sedated 24/7. She has to get out, and Caroline has to help her.

Lulu tells Valentin to come in, as long as he can be civil. She explains that she was the only available parent, and Valentin asks why she didn’t take Charlotte home. Lulu says Nelle never showed up, and she wasn’t going to leave her with the servants. Valentin says he doesn’t know what happened, but he just wants his daughter. Lulu says now he knows how she feels.

Michael tells Carly what happened on the docks. She says none of this is his fault. He asks whose fault is it? Everyone was wrong, but the only one who seems to be paying for it is Nelle.

Griff asks Nelle what she remembers. She says she was on the dock waiting for the boat, some guy tried to mug her, and she fought back. It’s the last thing she recalls. He tells her about Michael finding her, and says her kidney was bruised. He asks if she wants to see Michael.

Sonny tells Martina that he didn’t want to wear his ring during a one-night stand; end of story. She says it’s not her job to help him salvage a relationship he doesn’t want to salvage. He says that Carly did the unforgivable, and he just wants it over. Martina suggests he start by getting rid of the ring. She starts to go, but he doesn’t want her to leave.

Andre tells Nina that Anna is a complicated woman with complicated past. Nina says Valentin is part of that past. Anna took advantage of it, and now Andre is defending her. Andre tells Nina that what she has with Valentin is greater than what he imagined he had with Anna. They’ve moved on to real drinks.

Lulu tells Valentin that this was traumatic for Charlotte. They calmed her down, fed her, and she forgot about it. Dante asks if he wants to wake her up after all that. Lulu says she’s informing the social worker if he does, and already told her about everyone disappearing.

Anna tries to get up, and Caroline tells her not to exert herself. Anna says she has to go, and Dr. Lancaster appears. He says, on the contrary, and insists she stay.

Sonny asks Martina to stay. She says that he called her a one-night stand. He says that they have another night, and she tells him that she’s just distraction from mess he’s in. He says they’re good to go. They enjoy each other’s company, and she hasn’t left yet. They have time for one more act of friendship. Martina says maybe more than one. I refrain from the jokes in my head.

Carly tells Michael that she wouldn’t wish this on Nelle ever. She says sometimes it’s easier to be angry than afraid. Griff comes out, and Michael asks to talk to Nelle, but Griff says she doesn’t want to see him. Good.

Nina tells Andre about the first night she met Valentin. He was charming and unexpected, and if she had to do it over again, she would. He says in shrink speak, that’s an important realization. Nina says now she’s sitting here nursing a broken heart, but she’d do it again; she was happy, and saw how full her life could be. She saw herself, and she likes herself. As badly as Valentin screwed up, he got her there, and that’s a good thing. She says she thinks he knows she’s the best thing ever happened. He’ll regret Anna, and so will she

Lulu tells Valentin that she did everything by the book. Valentin says she thought of everything. She says that’s what a responsible parent does; now it’s his turn. He says he’ll be back in the morning, and she says she hopes he likes pancakes. He leaves, and Dante tells Lulu that he’s impressed.

Andre tells Nina that going after Anna isn’t going to serve her. She says Valentin knows she’s been manipulating him, and he’s not going to let her get away with it. She has to go, and Andre leaves Anna a message to call him back; trouble is coming her way.

Dr. Lancaster says he’ll deal with Caroline later, but they need to get “Alex” back to sleep. When he bends toward the bed, Anna stabs him in the neck with a syringe. She says the Sister has to help her to get out.

Tomorrow, Brad talks to Laura, Hayden wonders if she’s ready for a baby, and Valentin asks Lulu what game she’s playing.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Luann makes wedding plans, and Dorinda makes plans for a charity event, as well as Hannah moving out. She wants to spend some time being on her own. Bethenny goes furniture shopping with her. Bethenny has found an enormous apartment in Soho (and enormous is not an exaggeration), but hasn’t decided what she’s doing with it yet. Must be nice.

Ramona is shopping with Avery, who tells her she overdoes her coolness, and it looks like she’s trying too hard. Thank you. She wonders what’s underneath the fight with Bethenny. Ramona tells Avery how she presented the subject, and Avery – who is more mature than her mother – says it sounded like an attack.

Luann has lunch with Sonja. She talks about the awkwardness between Ramona and Bethenny. Sonja says Ramona is confrontational, and two taboo subjects are Bethenny’s kids and her business.

Bethenny tells Dorinda that she’ll be cordial, but she has enough reasons and history to know it’s not working with her and Ramona.

Ramona meets Tinsley for drinks. Sonja joins them. Tinsley is on the prowl, but isn’t sure if they’ll be the best wingwomen. Ramona orders something very complicated that involves as many glasses as ingredients, and gives Tinsley tips about getting the attention of men in bars. Be a woman. There you go. Ramona bothers the workers in the kitchen, then asks for a big straw for her drink. They check out some guys who look like they’re twelve.

Tinsley calls Sonja over. In her interview, Sonja says if Tinsley wants marriage and children, she needs to stick with the plan, and she’s veered off the highway. Ramona chats up a 12-year-old, and promotes Tinsley. He says he’s twenty-something, but I don’t believe it. Tinsley says she’s never seen women move faster in her life. I have news for her. This dude is not interested in Ramona or Sonja. She decides to stay behind, and Sonja tells her that’s a big mistake. His name is Chad, and he tells her he’s twenty-three. She pretends to fall off her chair, and they kiss.

The next morning, Sonja complains that Tinsley killed off a cutting from her plant. Tinsley asks if Sonja has sweetener, and Sonja tells her to steal it from restaurants. She asks when Tinsley came home, and Tinsley says she wasn’t going home with someone she just met. Sonja explains how a girl sometimes has to blow off steam, but not to get involved if they’re not on the list.

Bethenny is doing work for Be Strong’s breakfast at the Rainbow Room. They’ve combined with Dress for Success, and help women in crisis. Dennis joins her. In her interview, she says he was a fan of hers long before there were any others. She never thought about him as a boyfriend, so it was a major surprise and very romantic. Carole arrives. I’m surprised she’s still breathing after the election. Bethenny gets up to speak, and gets choked up. In her interview, Carole talks about how suckerfish Jason Hoppy won’t let go. Bethenny tells the women about her own crisis, and how she’s been inspired by them.

Carole and Adam go inside fake rock climbing, along with their friend Nina. Carole says that she and Adam are similar in a lot of ways, but not this one. He’s very athletic, and she’s not. She says he does get her out and doing stuff she doesn’t normally do, and that’s fine – to a certain extent. She climbs two feet up and says she’s done. Just kidding, she went further than I would have. Heights aren’t exactly my thing.

Nina asks Carole about the apartment situation. She says Adam found a place, but all of a sudden, the woman isn’t moving out. It looks like she’ll be sparing space for a while. She says they love each other and are together, but she doesn’t feel like it’s that relationship, and it’s hard to have the conversation while they’re living together.

Tinsley meets Chad for a date. She says he’s a little young, but she wants to have some fun. They go bowling. I guess their idea of fun is different from mine. She says she does want to get married eventually, but right now she feels like she’s twenty. Chad gets asked for his ID when they order a drink. Ugh. And I’m surprised. The drinking age was 18 when I moved to NYC, and I was only carded once. It was at a liquor store, and even then, the clerk just asked me how old I was. The funny thing was that I’d just had a birthday and gave him the wrong age. Tinsley is an excellent bowler, and they find out they both live on the Upper East Side. In her interview, Tinsley says if she wants to bring him home, she’ll have to sneak him in. Why do they have to go to her place? Does he live with his parents? Or six roommates?

Ramona, and friends Missy and Eileen, go for drinks. Ramona isn’t sure what she wants ultimately, and says that she’s enjoying being single. A secret admirer buys Eileen a drink. Ramona complains that he didn’t buy a round for their table. That would certainly be more impressive, but it’s not a requirement. Especially since drinks are like twenty bucks in Manhattan. Ramona spills the beans on all the women’s dating habits, and talks about Luann’s pending marriage. Eileen says she’s the only one who didn’t date Tom. In her interview, Ramona says Missy knows a lot. Eileen says she admires Luann for going all in, but Ramona thinks she’s putting her head in the sand. Missy says she found out that she and Tom weren’t dating anymore when she walked in on him and Luann in a bar. She’d thought they were exclusive. Bleh. Ramona says they have to support each other as women. I do too, but I can live without Ramona’s kind of support.

Luann discusses her wedding makeup with the friend who’s doing it. The wedding planning is taking up all of her time. She says Ramona had a snarky comment about people taking bets about the wedding happening, but for the most part, everyone has been cool. Not like, uncool.

Dorinda is having a charity event for Women for Freedom, which fights human trafficking. She and Carole have come up with items for an auction, and she’s panicking that people won’t bid. She says if no one else does, she will. The other ladies begin to arrive. Tinsley thinks that Bethenny is hot and cold; sometimes she’s super chatty, but then she doesn’t even get a hello. Bethenny has never met Tom, which is a surprise to all of us.

Dorinda thanks everyone for coming. She says it’s the year of giving back and gratitude, and encourages everyone to bid. Bethenny does an imitation of Ramona for Carole that’s spot on. In her interview, Dorinda says one good thing about the event is that it’s big, so people can avoid each other.

Bethenny meets a guy named Milos who she thinks would be good for Sonja. In her interview, Tinsley wonders what’s up with Sonja. When they’re alone, she’s like a mother figure or mentor, but acts like Tinsley is an annoying little sister out in public. Can you say competition? Bethenny tells Sonja about Milos, but she thinks he’s girlfriended up. Bethenny says that he claims to be unattached. Tinsley thinks she might be interested, but it’s too late, Ramona is already there. Sonja says Ramona is flirting on her potential. Some anonymous guy stares at the camera and looks really stupid. Really stupid.

Bethenny says no matter what, homegirl is going down the aisle, but it’s awkward. Luann thanks Bethenny for sticking up for her with Ramona. She says she doesn’t need anything negative. Tom asks what Bethenny is doing for the holidays. In her interview, Luann tells us that Bethenny apologized to him for what went down in Miami, and Tom was gracious and brushed it off.

No one is bidding. Dorinda says to tell the bartender to cut off the drinks until people make the rounds of the items. Bethenny gets an idea for charity whores. They’re similar to the girls who flirt to get men to buy champagne at strip clubs, but they get them to bid on things. Luann starts with a Givenchy bag. She’s glad there’s Christmas cheer at this Christmas party. Unlike last year when Sonja went bonkers over not being invited to the Berkshires. Carole has a conversation with a woman named Barbara, and they believe that Luann would rather get married and divorced than call it off, even though Tom is still playing around. In her interview, Carole says Luann is the great pretender and doesn’t want to be seen faltering.

Next time, Frederick from Million Dollar Listing: New York looks at a property with Bethenny, Carole and Ramona discuss Tom, Dorinda’s cake falls over, and Dorinda asks Luann if she trusts Tom.

🎢 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1985. While personally that was quite a year for me, it was also a HUGE year for pop culture. Omg. Madonna, Madonna marrying Sean Penn, Blockbuster Video (be kind and rewind!), Wrestlemania (RIP Rowdy Roddy Piper), Howard Stern, Live Aid, Tipper Gore and offensive lyrics, Bernie Goetz, MORGAN FAIRCHILD! I also enjoyed Dee Snyder doing some commentary. He’s a very smart dude. Oddly, they didn’t mention the year being reviewed next time, but it’s when George Michael came out, Married with Children was popular, and Sinead O’Connor shaved her head. This is a fun show, and the hour just flies by.

⛹ If you’re a man and thinking of wearing a RompHim, a term which Andy Cohen actually coined quite some time ago – no. Just no. I’m begging you. I’d rather see a man bun, and I don’t want to see one of those – ever. And if you’re a woman and thinking of wearing a romper, please look in the mirror before you leave the house.

⚔ Both the bad and good news is that Once Upon a Time is moving to Friday nights next season. It’s good because it competes with other shows I like on Sunday, and at 8 pm, it won’t be competing with Z Nation on Friday. At least as far as I know. The bad news is, Friday night is usually a death knell for a big three network show. A few of the cast members are also leaving. You can read about it here:

http://www.eonline.com/news/850516/once-upon-a-time-is-moving-to-a-new-night-after-cast-shake-up-in-abc-s-fall-2017-schedule

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May 10, 2017 – Nina Has Enough, Ramona Doesn’t Get It, Andy & Abbey

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 General Hospital

Valentin tells Anna that he sold the Chimera Project for a spectacular amount of money. Anna says he doesn’t seem concerned, and he says everyone involved is dead. She tells him that just because the buyer is dead, doesn’t mean the Chimera Project isn’t waiting for someone to unleash it.

Curtis and Jordan are having drinks. She tells him it’s okay to be scared. He pours champagne in her athletic shoe, but she stops him from drinking it; she’s impressed enough that he’d do it. He says they have an audience. Andre lurks at the bar.

Nathan is perplexed about Maxie. Nina tells him to call her. He says he will. She asks if he wants to escort her to Windemere. He says it’s nice to feel needed, and she says she’ll always need him. Valentin is still on his run anyway.

Valentin tells Anna that it’s possible the chimera is disabled, but still usable. The buyer died before using it. Anna says that doesn’t mean it wasn’t passed on. All right. What the blip does it do already? Do they even know?

Valentin flashes back to giving Helena (woohoo!) the Chimera Project. It’s in a silver container that looks like a martini shaker with chimera on it. He tells Anna that the buyer was no good at sharing.

Jake is shaking his birthday gifts. He tells Elizabeth what his guesses are. She says hands off until his party. He says it’s not fair, since his birthday is technically over. Elizabeth says he wanted his dad there, and Jake says he should be there now. She says that he went away on an emergency, and will be home soon.

Jason tells Franco that he was Jake’s scarecrow all along. Franco says Jason is what Jake has been afraid of all this time.

Jordan asks if Curtis wants to leave, but he says he’s good. She says she is too. He asks if she’d be good if Andre took up with one of her co-workers, even if it was Valerie. She turns around, and Valerie sits next to Andre. Valerie tells him that this is awkward, and asks if his ears are burning.

Nathan wonders why airline tickets to Portland are so expensive. Tell me about it. Nina offers to get him one, but he says no. She asks if he wants a beer and goes to get one. He looks at his phone, and can’t believe the prices went up again in three minutes time. I feel his pain. Nina comes back in. She says Valentin hasn’t come back from his run yet. Nathan tells her to call him, but she says she knows where he is.

Anna asks Valentin for the name of the buyer, and he says it wouldn’t do her any good. He tells her that if the project still existed, he’d find it and destroy it. She says he doesn’t trust her, and he says for good reason She tells him that she’s been honest since her memories were recalled, but he asks how he would know the difference. He says she’s always had an agenda, and wonders if he ever knew her. She says there’s only one way to find out, or she can disappear from his life for good. I wish.

Jake wants to cancel the party. Elizabeth says if he doesn’t drop the attitude, he’s losing screen time for a week; it’s time for him to exercise patience. He apologizes, and she tells him to forget about the presents and get his homework done. Kiki rings the bell. She says she has a package for Jake from Franco. Elizabeth tells him, homework, and he goes upstairs. Kiki says sorry, she didn’t know it was an issue. Franco had left a note, but she doesn’t know why he didn’t bring it himself. Elizabeth says she got a text that he’s on a mystery errand.

Franco asks what Jason did to Jake. Jason says he didn’t hurt his son. Franco asks what did happen. Jason talks about being in the restraints. He flashes back to a guy beating on him, and saying that rule number one is don’t talk about fight club your life is not your own. Franco can understand why someone would want to shackle and beat hell out of Jason, but if Jake saw it, wouldn’t he have been afraid for him? Jason remembers rule number two is never talk about fight club follow orders. He says someone else there, calling the shots. The guy beating him says he’ll pass out soon. Helena says Jason has survived worse than this. Jason tells Franco that it’s Helena. Like this is some huge shock.

Nina says Valentin is with Anna. Nathan gives her other reasons Valentin could be late. She says he went out to find her or she went out to find him. Nathan had thought they figured it out, but Nina says every time she turns around, she sees Anna, and Valentin acts sketchy, like he has something to hide.

Curtis wants something stronger that doesn’t taste like feet. He tells Jordan that he’s happy Valerie has moved on, and Andre is a lucky man, but not as lucky as he is. Jordan says keep talking.

Valerie flirts with Andre, and asks if he’s uncomfortable. He says no, but Jordan and Curtis might be. He says Curtis was always the third wheel in his relationship with Jordan. Valerie says Jordan is her new boss, confusing me, since I thought Jordan was always her boss. Andre says his advice is, if you don’t like a situation, change it. He leaves, and Valerie says maybe she will.

Curtis’s phone rings. Jordan says she’ll get their drinks. He tells her anything that doesn’t come in a shoe, and answers the phone. She orders the drinks, and says hey to Valerie. Valerie doesn’t look up from her phone. She asks if Valerie is dating Andre, and Valerie asks if she’s going to warn her off Andre too.

Nathan tells Nina that her problem is losing faith and trust, and Valentin is doing nothing to get it back. He asks if she can live that way, and she says no. He tells her to demand more, and she says what if he can’t give it?

Anna says every time she sees Valentin, she’s reminded of the ills she committed against him. He should have been a friend. She says her guilt means nothing to him. He says that means something, but she says not enough. She starts to leave, and he stops her. He says maybe they should get to know each other – who they are now. She says, a fresh start, and Andre pops out of nowhere. He says he didn’t mean to interrupt, and Valentin says he was just leaving. I hate that he’s being snowed by this crap. Has he learned nothing from his Richard III days?

Franco tells Jason that it makes sense, but what they don’t know is what Jake saw. We see the guard beating the living hell out of Jason, and Jason tells Franco that it wasn’t enough. The guard tells Helena that he’ll be no good if he’s dead. She says she always has assets in reserve.

Elizabeth gets a special delivery package.

Franco says she could have meant Jake or any one of her crazy relatives, and asks Jason if Helena gave him any hints. Jason remembers her saying she was pleased with his work. Helena tells Jason that the target was eliminated, but he missed the rendezvous, and it’s unacceptable. After all she’s done for him. The only reason he’s alive is because she met Faison’s price; don’t make her regret it. Jason tells Franco that the guy keeps hitting, and Helena orders more. There’s nothing he can do. He says the rest of the memory is out of reach.

Jason is in the shackles. Franco says, perfect fit.

Elizabeth says the package is from Spencer. Jake asks if he can open it now, since Spencer isn’t going to be at the party. Elizabeth thinks that would be okay. The UPS guy says, happy birthday, little man, which is creepy, and Jake stops for a split second.

Jordan says Valerie’s business has nothing to do with her. Valerie says until she’s done with Curtis. Then she’ll tell Valerie why dating Andre isn’t a good idea. She says she nearly got fired for dating Curtis, but look at Jordan now. Jordan says, sorry she’s hurt. Valerie says she’s grateful that she got out of a bad situation. She hopes it doesn’t cost Jordan’s career like it almost cost hers. Valerie leaves, and Curtis joins Jordan at the bar. He asks what happened, and she says nothing, just talking shop.

Anna asks if Andre is keeping tabs on her. He says it’s public park, and he asks what would have happened if he hadn’t shown up? She says that she planned on uncovering secrets up close that she couldn’t get from surveillance. He asks how close she’s planning on getting.

Nina doesn’t want to give up on her husband. Nathan says he admits that he hates Valentin. He’s making Nina feel lost, lonely, and insecure. She says she loves him and has to decide if it’s worth it. Nathan says sometimes it gets harder before it gets easier. She should start by being truthful with herself, and figure out from there. Valentin walks in, and asks why Nathan is at Windemere. Nina says he took her home, and Valentin senses something is wrong. Nina asks him to tell her if he was with Anna.

Franco says that maybe he should finish what Helena started, and punches Jason. Jason remembers Helena saying that it’s hard to find good help, while the guard keeps punching him. I have to add that Helena is full-on dressed up, complete with several strands of pearls. It’s one of the things I love about her. She never dresses down. She tels Jason that now he’s at her disposal; now he kills for her. She says they’re not alone, and says, hello little man. Jason says he was here; he saw him. Franco asks who, and Jason answers, Jake.

Nina tells Valentin that it’s a simple question. He says he bumped into Anna, and Nina is like, omg. She asks what Anna wanted, but doesn’t let him answer. She says she can’t do this anymore. Every time he says she’s wrong, she puts her faith in him, only to be a loser again. She asks if he’s having affair with Anna, or does he want to.

Anna tells Andre that she’s in a position to acquire information using Valentin’s interest in her. Andre says that Valentin is dangerous, but her condition makes her less so. He tells her that he’s heard about her missing appointments. Anna says she’s fine, and she’s taken procedures elsewhere to avoid prying eyes. Andre tells her not to make him the enemy. She says her illness doesn’t make her infirm, and she can get by without his unique form of condescension. She asks why he foists his opinion on her, and wonders if she’s a distraction from the mess he made with Jordan.

Curtis tells Jordan that she needs a game plan; something to look forward to. He suggests they take a walk, then go back to his place, listen to slow jams and chill. She says, raincheck.

Jake opens the package. It’s a magic set that has all kinds of cool stuff like a top hat and a wand. There’s a box inside the box that says top secret – for magician’s eyes only.

Helena is talking to child that Jason can’t see. Jason tells Franco that Jake must have hidden behind the tree, and watched. Helena tells Jason that he does a clean kill every time, and now he kills for her. Franco says he can see how it would be traumatizing. He wonders how Jake is afraid of Jason though. He undoes the cuffs, and says, it worked, so they’re good. Jason punches him.

Curtis asks Jordan if it’s about Andre and Valerie, or is it about him. She says maybe it’s about her. She tells him that she’ll see him soon, and jets.

Anna apologizes to Andre. Andre says he cares what happens, and she reminds him of boundaries. He says that he won’t tell her how to live her life or do her job, but he won’t stand idly by and let her jeopardize her life. She’s stuck with him.

Kiki asks Jake about the box inside the box, and he says it says it says for magician’s eyes only. She says that’s right, a magician never tells his secrets. She leaves, and Jake sees a note that says, look underneath and you’ll recognize what you find.

Franco is out cold, and Jason sends Elizabeth a text from Franco’s phone saying that he’s all tied up. Jason puts Franco in the shackles and asks how it feels to be in his shoes.

Valentin begs Nina not to leave. She says they’re done with the conversation. Nathan tells Valentin that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. I agree, and I’m very disappointed.

Anna’s phone rings. She says making progress, and it shouldn’t be long until she gets what they need.

Franco says this is the thanks he gets for helping Jason. Jason says he’s going to leave Franco there to think about his actions. He’ll send someone to get him, but until then, he’s going to his son’s birthday party. We see the chimera carved into the tree.

Jake opens the box within the box. It’s the cocktail shaker with the Chimera Project in it.

Tomorrow, Andre talks to Monica about Morgan, Griff hopes the plan works, and Nina leaves Valentin.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Everyone is tending to their dogs. Tinsley picks a poopie up off the carpet. Rich people – they’re just like us! At least their dogs are.

At a restaurant, Bethenny is meeting Sonja, who is late even though she lives around the corner. Sonja says she’s going forward with purging both her house and her mind. Bethenny asks about Ramona’s surprise party. Sonja tells her about Dorinda’s insanity, and how Ramona can’t have an emotionally mature conversation. She gets why Bethenny feels the way she does. Bethenny says Ramona wanted to make her feel shameful. They talk about dating, and Bethenny suggests that Sonja find a new place, since they’re all looking in the same places for men. We flash back to how incestuous dating is in their circle.

Meanwhile in the Berkshires, Dorinda visits her late husband’s grave. It’s the fifth year he’s been gone, and she feels that she can finally let him go. She meets her parents and her daughter at the cemetery. John isn’t there because it’s the family that was. Hannah looks gorgeous. Dorinda lights candles, and they look at the photos in front of the headstone. Carole arrives. She looks smashing, with an entirely black outfit – pants, jacket and blouse – except for a white collar and white gloves. Dorinda says that Richard’s other two children couldn’t be there, but even though Hannah was his stepdaughter, he treated her like one of his own and they had a special relationship. Hannah talks about how his death devastated her, and how she is who she is because of him. She tells them not to cry because it’s over, but smile because it happened. Dorinda is impressed with how Hannah is able to express her feelings. Dorinda speaks, saying that Richard is always in her thoughts, and jokes that sometimes she’s still mad at him. She says she wears her ring on this day every year. In her interview, she tells us about how when someone is sick, a new world is given to you in a split second.

Bethenny is sorting Brynn’s American Doll stuff. At least their accessories aren’t as small as Barbie’s. She says life is different. She’s gotten the real estate bug and finds it therapeutic. She thinks Brynn might be a budding hoarder, but she has to let her fly like a little hoarding bird.

Everyone gathers at Dorinda’s house. Carole talks to her parents, who have been married a looong time. Dorinda says Hannah is ready to move out, and she’s ready to start a new chapter of her life. They talk about Richard and what a great guy he was. Carole tells them about hearing that the homeless people he helped came to his funeral. In her interview, Carole says Richard was a fascinating character, and she’s weirdly obsessed with him. She wishes she’d known him. Dorinda says he had childlike sensibility with an intense mind.

Sonja instructs Tinsley on how to load a dishwasher. Tinsley says she doesn’t know what the rules are, and she’s trying to figure them out. Sonja doesn’t have interns anymore, so she’s blaming Tinsley for everything. Tinsley forgets that Sonja isn’t drinking, and puts vodka in her orange juice. In her interview, Tinsley tells us that she doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. I don’t know what’s in Sonja’s ice tray, but it’s brown. Maybe I don’t want to know.

Luann, Dorinda, and Luann’s other bridesmaids go with Luann to see her wedding dress. She says she feels like she’s living the fairytale. She’s never worn a wedding dress, because she eloped the first time. It’s pretty, sleeveless and simple, with a lace overlay. Dorinda marvels at being 51 and a bridesmaid. The dress isn’t bad. Pink, sleeveless, with a high-low hem. You could probably wear it again, but the chances of Dorinda doing that are zero to none.

Tinsley walks with her friend, Anisha, who has two dogs in a small remote controlled car. She claims it’s cooler than a stroller, and I have to agree, but hope it doesn’t become the norm. It’s hard enough walking in NYC. She asks Tinsley where she’s moving to, but Tinsley doesn’t know yet. She says the Upper East Side isn’t cool any more, but it’s what she knows. Anisha says that Tinsley should live in her building, and hands her the remote. Poor dogs.

Bethenny visits Carole. Carole’s couch is a wreck, but Bethenny says it looks intentional. They talk about Thanksgiving, and the turkey that Adam cooked. Carole says they both like their space, pointing out that it’s really her apartment. Bethenny says she thinks Carole has mixed feelings about Adam living there. Carole is encouraging him to move, since it’s not good for their relationship being together 24/7. She tells Bethenny there’s something about a two-year mark. Neither one of them want to get married, so they wonder what they’re doing. In her interview, Bethenny says at two years you shouldn’t be moving out.

Carole asks about suckerfish Jason Hoppy. Bethenny says it’s like an extermination problem; if you don’t get to the root, it won’t go away. In her interview, Carole says she’s witnessed behavior from Bethenny’s ex that’s beyond bizarre, and hopes it ends soon. Carole is having a get-together with the women to clear the air. Bethenny tells Carole that she doesn’t care about Ramona, and hopes that Ramona leaves her alone.

Ramona calls Dorinda and thanks her for the surprise party. Dorinda talks about being worried that Ramona wasn’t going to show. They discuss Bethenny not coming. Dorinda tells Ramona to use going out for drinks as a way to reconnect.

The girls go to the old Limelight, now called Jue Lan. If Bethenny has the right demeanor, Ramona is going to try and approach her without being confrontational. Bridesmaids dresses are discussed. Ramona says she bought her ticket to Palm Beach, and asks Luann if she gets an invitation. Luann tells her that they were sent out a while ago, but not to her. She says no offense, but she wants her day drama free. In her interview, Luann says Ramona wouldn’t come if she did send her an invite. Ramona says she doesn’t care, but there’s no reason not to invite her, and her feelings are hurt. Omg, they go back and forth, with Ramona feeling insulted and Luann saying sorrynotsorry. Bethenny equates Ramona not wanting to go, but wanting to be invited, to a sex act.

Somehow Bethenny gets reeled in to the argument. Ramona claims people are calling her, and asking if the wedding is on. Luann brings up Ramona saying that people are taking bets. Ramona says it was just a joke. In her interview, Luann says the truth always comes out first, then people say they were just kidding. YES!!!! Bethenny sums it up perfectly by saying that Ramona is being an a-hole.

Luann says cheers, and everyone gladly drinks. She tells Ramona not to say stupid things, and Ramona says it happens from time to time. All of the time. Sonja and Tinsley arrive late. Carole tells Tinsley about two apartments in her building, where she’s on the board. Tinsley says she’d like to check it out. Food comes out, and the girls sit down. Tinsley tells everyone her life story. She married Topper when they were both eighteen, after seeing Andrea do it on 90210.

Ramona corrals Luann, and they discuss Bethenny. Ramona feels awkward. Luann thinks Bethenny didn’t like how Ramona brought up her B-movie past in front of everyone, and suggests Ramona talk to her. In her interview, she says if Ramona wants to poke the bear, have at it.

Ramona approaches Bethenny. She starts talking about friends talking about difficult things they’re going through. Bethenny says she isn’t into being schooled by Ramona, and Ramona calls her strange. She says she spoke to her out of concern, and Bethenny acted hostile. Bethenny says she doesn’t like how Ramona is speaking to her, and Ramona says she can dish it out, but not take it. She can’t answer a simple question. Ramona insists that she’s speaking normally, and Bethenny suggests she’s not very self-aware. Ramona says she was there when Bethenny was sick, and Bethenny says she was there through Ramona’s divorce, which Ramona denies. Bethenny wants to end the conversation, and tells everyone good night.

Ramona squawks that Bethenny doesn’t like the way she talks to her. In her interview, Ramona says it’s all on Bethenny. Ramona tells the women that Bethenny is like a rabid dog sometimes, and Tinsley says that Ramona is too. Carole has no sympathy, and Dorinda thinks Ramona is emotionally heightened, whatever that is.

Next time, Ramona wants to know why it always has to be her, we meet Bethenny’s boyfriend, Dorinda has a charity auction, and Bethenny tells Tom sorry for the drama.

🔬 If you haven’t caught Andy Cohen’s Then & Now, give it a looksee. It’s nicely put together, and a must if you like retrospectives. Like Andy, I enjoy pop culture, so it’s right up my alley. They seem to be randomly hopping around, and this week, 2003 was examined. Starting with Martin Bashir’s documentary on Michael Jackson, a lot of it was concentrated on celebrity-driven reality programs. Newlyweds, WMDs, The Apprentice, Beyonce – a lot happened in 2003. One of the really fun things is remembering the shows you used to watch and the stuff you were once interested in. There’s a lot of, oh yeah, that! Next time, 1985 is inspected. I’m partial to the 80s, and that’s the year I got married. Apparently other things happened too. I can’t wait to find out what.

💃 Abbey Lee Miller is going to just pretend she’s on a movie set when she’s in prison. I’m not even sure what to say, since it’s actually not a bad idea. She’s also going to learn Spanish and write a book. Sounds like a plan.

December 13, 2015 — Ash, Andy & Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

For the next couple of weeks, much of the regular programming will be trumped by holiday cheer. Like the annual showing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, where poor Rudolph gets abused by mean Santa. Tonight, Once Upon a Time was eclipsed by a special on the original Disney animated classic, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and The Walking Dead was replaced by an Into the Badlands marathon, another show well worth watching.

So I was left with a couple of bits and pieces and the usual nonsense from Atlanta.

 Ash Vs. Evil Dead

Now that Bruce Campbell has finally succumbed to the will of the fans, he has realized that he is Ash and will be forever more. Gory slapstick mixed with the shaky camera we’ve all come to know and love, this show will never win an Emmy, but as Bill Murray once so beautifully put it, it just doesn’t matter. Starz has thrown us a gruesome bone in the wasteland that is weekend programming, and I’m grateful.

Then & Now with Andy Cohen

If you can catch this show, do. I love the retrospectives. One of my favorite parts of New Year’s Eve is always what I’ve christened, the roll call of the celebrity dead. I also enjoy any trip down Memory Lane involving a year or decade I remember. Andy Cohen is a good choice to host one of these programs because he’s a lover of pop culture who has made himself part of pop culture.

This particular show is about 1994, “the year pop culture pushed back.” That actually sounds like a nonsense statement, and I at first I wondered what was so special about 1994. Actually, a lot. It’s the year that gave us Tonya and Nancy, OJ’s slow speed chase, the suicide of Kurt Cobain, and so much more.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra, Porsha and a wannabe are going shopping. Porsha talks about working on a Miami trip for the ladies with Kenya. Meanwhile, Sheree, Kandi and Kenya are exploring the still unfinished “Moore Manor,” Kenya tells Kandi it’s a Cynthia re-do, since the boat trip went so horribly wrong. Kim is coming along, which is surprising, for the same reason.

Another Wife Wannabe, Tammy, is joining them on the trip. Kenya uses her phone cam when they board the plane, and we get to see them trying to cram things into the overhead that won’t fit unless Willy Wonka comes by with his shrinking machine.

After the fastest flight in history, they take a limo to the house Kenya rented. Estate really. They’ve decided that since Kandi is pregnant, she can have the master bedroom. Surprisingly thoughtful of them. The house has an infinity pool that I would be spending all my time in. Porsha’s wannabe friend, Shemia (who Kenya keeps calling things like “Shimmy Shimmy Koko Bop” and “Sheneneh”), has met them at the house. Lots of wannabes in this episode. There are two living rooms, and Kim decides she’s sleeping in one of them. I’ll bet the TV has a lot to do with that decision. The others are like, why would you want to sleep in the living room? but hey, it’s her vacation too. And I’m guessing, like me, she hasn’t had one since 1987, so let her set up camp in the living room if she wants to.

I have no doubt that, as usual, this gorgeous luxury spot will be wasted on this bunch.

Tammy sits down to talk to Kim in her living room space, while Kenya entertain the others with imitations of Kim. Apparently, Tammy is an acquired taste, but Cynthia says she’ll take quirky and weird over mean nasty and shade throwing any day. Kenya says that Tammy (who’s friends with Sheree’s ex-husband) intimated that Sheree was a gold-digger. Sheree seems to think she also slept with him.

The ladies gather for dinner at a fancy restaurant where they have a private back room. The servers start bringing weird things to the table, like a Viking helmet for Kenya to wear, a toaster and what looks like fondue. Kim makes an announcement that she might not make it through the whole trip because she might get homesick. Huh? In her individual interview Kim says she’s out of her element and needs to rise above her feelings. What?

Cynthia says Neanderthal Peter is making an effort to win her back. They’re talking about their significant others and Tammy says she’s been married 13 years and everything is still great. Sheree makes noises about being unhappy with her presence. Tammy says yes, she’s friends with Bob (the ex), and she feels he was treated unfairly during the divorce as far as seeing his kids went. Sheree asks if she slept with Bob. Tammy is like, are you joking? She says she’s not even attracted to him. Sheree says Bob told her differently and Tammy says that’s news to her. Sheree says she was told Tammy didn’t like her and had told Bob not to marry her. Kim can’t believe “grown ass women” are talking like this. Get used to it if you’re going to be on this show. Kim says there’s a difference between information and instigation. Kenya says sometimes people just need to clear the air of old stuff.

Porsha has set up another boat trip. Really? Kim and Phaedra are talking and Kim says it’s hard to tell if Kenya is being genuine or not, and that people can air their grievances without being messy. Kenya doesn’t understand why Kim is sticking her nose into it.

Kim breaks down at lunch because she’s homesick. She says that everyone is having a good time, but all she’s thinking about is she’d rather be sharing it with her husband. That’s a really nice thought, but she seems to be getting weird about it, like a kid who’s away at camp for the first time. She starts to cry about how she’s lost herself and she can’t find herself here. I hate to tell her, but it’s highly doubtful you’d be finding much of anything on a long weekend in Miami except a Margarita.

Whoa. She’s weeping and wailing to Phaedra outside, while the women flirt with some dude named Oliver inside at the table. Phaedra says she’s sensitive to Kim missing her husband, and if her husband treated her well, she’d be missing him too. Shade of the night. Somehow, Phaedra turns the conversation around to her own problems, but Kim seems to think she’s a great friend. They go back inside.

New guy Oliver and his friend have invited themselves over to party. The girls get googly eyed when Kim says she misses her husband, but on the side Kenya says that most of the women would pay get away from their husbands and kids. Houdini Tammy, who had disappeared, comes back draped with another strange man. It’s her nephew, Glen, who Kenya immediately turns her high beams on.

It’s time for the ladies to get back on the boat and the guys go with them. Things go a little sour when Glen doesn’t respond positively to Kenya’s aggressive attempt to get his attention.

Next week, it looks like things go so far south, they hit the equator.