Tag Archives: Tuesday

July 8, 2019 – The Reception Goes Dark, the Med’s Biggest Tip Ever, a Return, a Climb, a Baby & Yeter Tuesday

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Nina meets Valentin at the MetroCourt. He talks to her in French. She tells him, whatever he said, thank you. He kisses her neck.

Psychic Sibney Gamble tells Ava, disclosures up front. She doesn’t have a crystal ball, she’s not a palmist, and doesn’t predict the future. She has experiences in clairvoyance, but can’t predict or control the images. Ava says she’s not interested in the future. Sibney says she senses the emotional energy of those who have passed. Sometimes, it’s just a feeling, and sometimes they’re as present as Ava is. Ava says Sibney has been clear on what she can’t do, but vague on what she can. Ava wonders why she should pay such a substantial fee, and Sibney says she can afford it. And she’s Ava’s best hope of making peace with Kiki.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s going to check in with Jax. He says if she must, and she tells him not to sulk. He says he’s not sulking. He has phone calls to return.

Nina sits with Jax, and asks if he got her text. He says, it’s been handled. She says, that was quick, and he tells her, time is money. He asks if she knows the woman sitting with Ava. She says, the so-called psychic? Unfortunately, yes.

Valentin calls Curtis, who’s on the deck of The Haunted Star, and asks if he has anything. Curtis says he has two things. Jax has a file on Valentin, and also one on Cassandra.

Finn dances with Epiphany, and she asks if he wants to take a break. He says he wouldn’t want to show Milo up. Epiphany says Milo is out of town, defending his title. She says, speaking of significant others, where’s Anna? He says she’s out looking for her sister, and Epiphany says good thing Anna has her to keep an eye on him. Terry sees Drew, and says she’s glad he make it. He says, it felt like a happy distraction, and she asks, how was the trip to Africa? He says, beautiful. Painful, but beautiful. He’s surprised she hasn’t talked to Kim, but Terry says she hasn’t seen much of Kim. She hasn’t been at work for a while. Kim and Julian walk in, and Kim asks where the happy couple is.

Franco knocks on the door to a room on the boat, and asks if Elizabeth is ready. People are waiting. He goes in, and sees rose petals everywhere, and champagne in a bucket. Elizabeth comes out in a robe, and tells him, welcome to the honeymoon suite. He says, technically, it’s not a honeymoon until after the reception, but she says it’s a honeymoon when they say it is. She starts taking off his clothes, saying, it’s their party. How much trouble could they get into? He asks, what could possibly go wrong? Always a bad question to ask on this show.

Kim tells Terry that it’s great to see her. She’s contemplating her return to work. There is such a thing as too much time on your hands. Terry says they’d love to have her back, and Kim says, no hospital talk. She wants to toast to Franco and Elizabeth. She and Terry go to look for them. Drew tells Julian, it looks like Kim is doing better, but Julian says he should have a closer look.

Julian takes a champagne glass out of Brad’s hand, and asks who’s home with Wiley. Brad says Lucas is there. He insisted one of them come, since Shiloh is lurking around. Julian says Shiloh is no threat, but Brad says Shiloh thinks he’s Wiley’s father. Obrecht watches on the sidelines.

In Sonny’s kitchen, Michael and Sasha make snacks. Josslyn comes in, and says she thought it was Dev. He’s a bottomless pit. Michael says they’re babysitting Avery. Josslyn says she could have done that, but Michael says they thought she might have something better to do. She’s in the clear. She can go hang out with Cameron and Trina.

Cameron and Trina walk into the reception. He tells Trina, it’s not too late to back out, but she says she’s not going anywhere until she has some cake. He says he doesn’t really want her to. She knows he’s not looking forward to this, but said she’d have his back, so she will.

Laura tells Doc that Cameron showed up with a date. It’s a step up from him not wanting to be there. Doc knows how Cameron feels, but Laura says he wouldn’t have been invited if they didn’t want him there. He can’t hole up, and expect to get back to normal. He says he’s not sure he’s ready to reenter their social scene, and Laura suggests they stay for one toast. She tells him, besides, take a look around. No one is paying attention to them. He says she’s right. They’re probably wondering what to make of that. She looks, and sees Bobbie come in, accompanied by Scotty on his scooter.

Valentin says, so Jax has Intel on Cassandra, and asks Curtis if it’s recent or background. Stella asks if Curtis is coming, or does she have to make her own entrance? He says, one minute, and Valentin asks where he is. Curtis says, in the doghouse. He’s at Franco and Elizabeth’s reception. They’ll speak later. Curtis goes in with Stella.

Ava tells Sibney not to toy with her. She came for real answers, not superficial mumbo jumbo. Sibney says she doesn’t do mumbo jumbo. That’s why she doesn’t work for free. She’s been in contact with Connie Falconari. Ava says she came to talk about Kiki, and Sibney says, she’s not telling Sonny anything. You don’t have to shoot me. That was the last thing Connie said before Ava pulled the trigger. Ava asks how she knows, and she says, it’s simple. Connie told her. Ava says, that’s impossible, and Sibney says if she wants the impossible, she’ll give it to Ava, but her fee is non-negotiable.

Valentin approaches Jax’s table. He says he hopes he’s not interrupting, but they have an engagement. Jax asks if they’re going to the reception, and Valentin says Elizabeth is an old friend. Nina adds that Franco is her ex, and Jax is impressed that they’re cordial.

Ava tells Sibney that she paid the fee for the initial consultation. Could they focus on her daughter? SIbney says Kiki isn’t the only spirit in Ava’s orbit. As Nina and Valentin walk past, Nina stops and asks if Sibney is still in contact with the great beyond. She tells Ava that Nina’s mother was her best client. Nina says, she’s a fraud, and tells Ava, steer clear. Sibney says, Madeline was a demanding client. She still is. She has a message from her. Nina says, yeah, right, but Sibney says, it’s not for her. She tells Valentin, next time, use tweezers. Valentin flashes back to standing over Madeline’s coffin, saying, maybe in death, she can give Nina the greatest gift of all. Ava asks what the hell that means, and Nina says, exactly. They move on, and Ava says she doesn’t want to communicate with Madeline or Connie. She wants to reach her daughter.

Franco and Elizabeth are in bed, when there’s a knock on the door. Franco tells her, stay quiet, and they’ll go away. Cameron asks if they’re almost ready.

Finn asks Curtis how Jordan is, and Curtis says, improving by the day. Stella says she claims she’s stagnating, and Epiphany asks Stella if she’s going to find her long lost mystery relative. Stella says she went to a website that claimed she had a relative living nearby. Curtis asks if she doesn’t want to know more, but she says, you never know who you’re letting into your life. She doesn’t want some drunk. Curtis says they’d be related to him too; maybe he should get tested. Stella says, sure; spread his DNA along. Finn says, no offense to Chase, but he has enough problems with the family he knows.

Scotty says, so they invited Laura, and Bobbie says, of course (🍷). They join Laura and Doc, and Scotty says he thought Laura had split with Doc. Doc asks Bobbie if she’s met the real Scotty, and she says she’s known him for a long time. Laura says, let’s not do this, and Scotty tells them, enjoy the evening, before scooting off. Doc says, nice scooter Scotty. I’ll bet they drew straws for who got to say that.

Felix comes in, and an obviously drunk Obrecht hugs him. She asks if he’s there alone; where’s Donny? He says they broke up, and she asks if he’s still carrying a torch for Dr. Jones. He says, Lucas is married now, but she tells him, don’t give up. That marriage is not built to last.

Julian tells Brad, all Shiloh can do is speculate. He can’t prove anything. Brad says he can ask a judge for a DNA test, and they know what the results will say. Julian says, it doesn’t matter; he has no proof, and no one who knows will say anything. He tells Brad, relax, get his head on straight, and he’ll be fine. Bobbie sees them, and says Brad looks like he could use some air. She suggests he take a walk while she talks to Julian.

Drew asks Kim how she’s holding up, and she says she’s happy for Elizabeth and Franco. He is too, but he’s concerned about Kim. She doesn’t know what’s worse; not getting what you want, or being pitied for wanting it in the first place. She knows it was crazy, but Drew says it’s not. Kim says she wanted another family with him when they never had one in the first place. He says they are family; her, him, and Oscar. Oscar might be gone, but the bond is forever. Kim says if it’s not crazy, is wanting a family with him still possible?

Josslyn asks what movie Michael and Sasha are going to watch, and Sasha says they haven’t decided. Does she want to pick? Josslyn asks if they mind if she stays, and Michael suggests inviting Dev. Josslyn seems reluctant, and he says, or she could take him to hang out with Cameron and Trina. She says Cameron is busy at his mom and Franco’s reception. He wanted her to go with him to run interference. Sasha asks if he doesn’t like Franco, and Josslyn says, no; he’s just weird about it. Sasha says it sounds like she could help. Why didn’t she go? Josslyn says she didn’t want to make a hard night harder. People mean well, but when she’s around… Sasha says people are looking at her, wondering how she is, and Josslyn says, yeah. Sasha hates to break it to her, but they’re doing right now.

Stella tells Curtis that she’s not interested in seeing what relative is a match. She’s going to see what’s keeping the party from being started. Nina asks Curtis what she missed, and he says his auntie being stubborn. Nina sees Obrecht approach Finn, and thinks she should mount a rescue.

Curtis tells Valentin that he’s going to dig in and do more research before he gets into Jax’s office again. What does Valentin know about Cassandra? Valentin says he and Cassandra had a limited interaction before he fell in love with Nina. Curtis wonders if Finn can help. He and Anna got mixed up with her. Maybe he knows if she’s connected to Jax. Jax walks in, and he and Valentin nod politely at each other.

Obrecht says Finn’s fiancé vanished again? He says, someone hasn’t vanished if you know where they are. She says, it must be a strain on the relationship when one party refuses to settle down. Nina joins them, and says she’s been so busy, she feels like she’s been neglecting her aunt. She says she wants to catch up on Obrecht’s column, and leads her away.

Drew tells Kim that they can’t have another kid right now. She says she didn’t intend to put him on the spot again. He says, yearning for a child isn’t something you can rush, and thinks she should take some time. She wanders off.

Bobbie asks if she needs to remind Julian about the last time they talked. He asks if he should duck now or later, and she asks him if he’s inserting himself into Lucas and Brad’s lives again. He says he’ll always be a part of their lives, and if they need help, he’s going to give it to him. She wonders what good his help is, and suggests he not help anyone ever. Scotty calls her over.

Ava says she’d like to talk to her daughter now, and Sibney says, here? In the middle of the restaurant? It’s not exactly conducive to contacting the departed. Ava asks if there’s another place that’s more conducive, and if there’s an extra charge. Sibney says, energy leaves a mark, and a spirit’s energy leaves a huge discharge if there’s a violent death. Ava asks if she wants to visit where Kiki was killed, and Sibney asks if that’s possible. Ava says, the apartment has been sold, but then the police were never sure where exactly it was she died. Sibney asks if there’s an alternative location, and Ava says, one.

Terry thanks everyone for coming, and supporting her oldest and truest friend and her handsome groom. They’ve been waiting, and the wait is over. It’s her pleasure to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Baldwin; Franco and Elizabeth. The guests applaud. Franco tells Elizabeth, make ‘em laugh, make ‘em cry, make ‘em wait. The music plays, and he dips her on the dance floor.

Elizabeth thanks everyone for helping them celebrate. They’re not big on formalities or speeches, but they’re incredibly happy, and everyone’s presence made the moment even more perfect. Franco says it’s been a long, strange trip getting there, and he owes them a huge debt. He thanks everyone for coming, and publicly wants to thank his wife for loving him, and allowing him to love her, and changing everything. He loves her. He asks where the boys are, and thanks them. He’s happy to be around them, and thanks them for coming. Cameron says they’ll be right back. Elizabeth thanks her husband for completing her family, and for his patience, humor, and perseverance. Franco says he has a lot to be grateful for and to celebrate. Drew toasts to Elizabeth and Franco.

Cameron, Jake, and Aiden come back in. Cameron says they’ve been working on; a tribute to their mom and dad. He hopes they don’t mind, and Elizabeth says, of course (🍷) we don’t. Cameron plays the guitar and sings, while Aiden accompanies him on the tambourine, and Jake on the rhythm shaker. I think it’s an original song, since I can’t find anything via the lyrics. Trina films them, and Elizabeth wipes a tear from her cheek. Franco holds out his hand, and he and Elizabeth dance. We see everyone dance, as the song continues. Jax watches Nina and Valentin. The cake is cut. Elizabeth throws the bouquet, and Terry catches it. Family photos are taken.

Cameron congratulates Elizabeth and Franco, and shakes Franco’s hand. Franco compliments the boys. Laura says, two happy people, and Doc says he’s happy he and Laura are still together. She says, her too, and they kiss.

Michael gives Josslyn a bowl of loaded ice cream, but she’s not sure if she’s up to tackling it. She didn’t help Cameron, and he’s been there for her. Sasha is sure Cameron understands. What she’s going through is something real, but she’ll get back out there. Josslyn says she’ll have to sometime. She might as well help a friend. Michael asks if that means she’s not staying for the movie. Josslyn says they’re on their own, and pushes the bowl of ice cream toward him, telling them, good luck. Michael says, it has to be done, and asks Sasha if she wants some, but she says she’ll stick with popcorn.

Felix asks Brad how it going with the baby, and Brad says, good. Felix says when he didn’t see Lucas, he thought the baby was sick or something. Brad says, or something? Like what? He starts to tell Brad what Obrecht said, but then says she’s hitting the skids. It sounded like she had the inside track, but she’s drinking, and probably made it up. Forget he said anything.

Brad asks to talk to Julian, and Kim goes to get a drink.

Jax introduces himself to Finn, saying he’s a good friend of Robin’s, and she wanted him to tell Finn hi. He thinks she believes Finn is lonely because her mom is away. Nina introduces him to Obrecht, saying she insisted on meeting him. Obrecht says the pleasure is all hers, and asks if he’s heard from his brother. He says he hasn’t, and she says Jax has a reputation for honesty, so she feels like she should believe him. On the other hand, he also has a reputation of protecting his brother, which leads her to believe he’s lying. He asks how she knows Jerry, and she says they go way back. Everyone who’s worked for Helena Cassadine meets at some point.

Ava arrives, and introduces Sibney to Elizabeth. She tells Elizabeth, hold on to this one, and Elizabeth says she will. She tells Finn that he’s missing his fiancé, but soon, he’ll have more women than he can handle. Ava tells him, sorry; have a nice night, pushing Sibney along. She tells Sibney to stop giving away free readings on her retainer. Sibney says she can’t help the flashes. They come when they want to.

Valentin wonders if it’s wise, leaving Obrecht alone with Jax, and Nina says, he’s a big boy. He can handle himself. She can’t believe Ava brought that charlatan there. She exploits vulnerable people. She tells Valentin not to believe her comment. Valentin tells Nina not to listen to Obrecht. Nina knows how outrageous Obrecht is, and now she’s three sheets to the wind.

Franco drags Obrecht away, and says she’s really throwing them back. She says she’s lonely. She wants someone to come home to; someone to confide her secrets to. He says, she has secrets? She says she’s had secrets all her life, like the truth about Nathan. She hates the pain she visited on him. Perhaps he’d have been better off knowing the truth. Poor Brad, Lucas, and Wiley… and his real father. Someone watches them.

Ava and Sibney go to the room where Kiki’s body was found. Sibney says Kiki was still alive when she was brought there. She was mortally wounded, and this is where her soul left her body. Ava asks if she’s there. Can Sibney feel her daughter? Sibney tells her, be quiet. Kiki is there. The lights go out.

The lights are out everywhere, and Drew says, that’s crazy. He asks if Kim is okay, and she says, yeah. She was looking for Julian. She left him with Brad. She says she saw a fuse box, and he follows her. Nina asks Curtis if he noticed where Valentin went.

Obrecht goes out on deck, drink in one hand, shoes in the other. Someone watches her. She walks to the edge, and breathes in the air. Suddenly, someone pushes her over the side.

Drew finds the fuse box. He’s about to flip the switch, says, what the hell? and slumps to the ground. Kim turns on the lights. She checks Drew out, and looks at a syringe in her hand.

Elizabeth says, oh my God. Everyone looks as Rebecca Budig Hayden comes in.

Tomorrow, Maxie tells Peter that she’s not taking no for an answer, Ava tells * that they’re not going anywhere until her daughter is brought back, and Nina asks where Valentin was.

Below Deck Mediterranean

When we last left, there was quite a mess on deck, with the anchor chains in a tangle. Daniel Sheree

The captain says, holy sh*t. She points out the whole thing that the chain wraps around is bent. Captain Sandy radios João, and says they have a situation. Jack is glad he isn’t the one who caused it. In Hannah’s interview, she says they’ve lost Anastasia and Travis to the galley, and she’s in the cabins. It’s like opposite day for grown-ups. The captain says, it’s a huge problem. In her interview, she wonders what’s going through Colin’s brain. It his second season, and he should know it by now.

Ashley shoots more of her music video. Captain Sandy watches as João and Colin fix the anchor mess.  In his interview João says, it’s a 500kg anchor and 500kg chain. If it picks up too much speed, you could lose a leg. He ought to know after getting tangled up in the lines last season.

Anastasia asks if Aesha wants breakfast, and Aesha says Anastasia makes her fanny tingle. The anchor is in the pocket, and Colin heads out in the tender. In his interview, he says he’s off to a fantastic day. The engineer works on the anchor thing to straighten it out. In João’s interview, he says they drove four meters and moved so they could have a good background for a pop singer. It’s ridiculous. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, it’s every captain’s nightmare, and exactly what she has. She won’t allow the anchors to beat her. She hates the effing anchors. She’s over it. The crew hears her saying all this on the radio.

The captain tells the deckhands, lock it down. Travis sits on the galley floor, trying to get Wi-Fi. Hannah asks if he wants to connect to her hotspot. In her interview, she thinks Travis is adorable, but she’s not dating someone in the crew. It was exhausting last year. We flash back to that, and she says she’s not doing it again. João tells the captain, these anchors are a nightmare; they’re too small. Captain Sandy says, that’s a fact.

Videographer Cassandra films Ashley on some kind of water bike. The slide is set up. Jack has a smoke while hiding from work. João notices the slide isn’t tied down properly. Jack says he tied it, but João says he only did one side. It won’t matter if it comes off. Anastasia makes one pound burgers. Jack takes a break in his bunk. João looks at his watch, probably calculating how long Jack has pretended to work, and takes the cover off the jacuzzi. Cassandra asks if someone can help her, and Colin volunteers. Hannah’s feet are killing her. In Colin’s interview, he says he feels like Ashley’s fluffer, using the reflecting mirror. The producer asks if he knows what that is, and he thinks it’s someone who preps an actor. They explain that it’s to prepare someone for porn, and he says he thought it was a general term in the movie business. He has to stop saying it. Jack does a backflip off the boat. He tells João, stop being moody. João asks when that happened, and Jack says when João criticized him about only tying one side of the slide. João says Jack is an engineer. He should know if he only ties one side, it’s not tied. In João’s interview, he says, if only Jack worked as much as he talks. His mouth works overtime, and he’s always bitching.

Colin wonders what the chances are of Jack taking work seriously. João tells him if there’s anything wrong, it will be on him, not Jack. In the captain’s interview, she says if possible, when she hires a chef, she has them prepare a meal for her, but when she doesn’t have that luxury, she has to trust what they say. Cassandra confers with Hannah about the crew doing a dance at Ashley’s wrap party. She has hats and T-shirts for them to go with it. Travis says he’s losing his sh*t; he’s so tired. It’s time for lunch, and Travis says he likes working in the galley, but it’s not his only job. He has to work on deck as well. Mmm… Some kind of giant burgers are plated. In her interview, Anastasia says her biggest fear is failing, and admits the one who puts the biggest pressure on her is herself. Ashley takes a billion photos for social media.

Hannah radios Jack, asking if he knows the food in the bosun’s locker, but Jack says he doesn’t remember what’s there. He tells the other guys, when he doesn’t want to help, he just says he doesn’t remember. In his interview, he says, you only have one life. You might as well push it, and see what you can get away with. Geez. Before I just thought he was lazy. Now I think he’s a total d-bag. Anastasia is making a unicorn cake. She says, it’s the type of cake people write songs about. Is it the one left out in the rain? The guests use the slide. Hannah tells the crew about the coordinated dance, saying João is the lead. Aesha thinks it’s cool.

Anastasia thinks her butter cream icing is not that good, not great, and finally, too sweet. It’s like Goldilocks icing. She calls her mom. In her interview, she says her mom was the head pastry chef for the President of Georgia, and works in five-star hotels. Her mom tells her to add butter. Making mental note about that. Cassandra discusses the dance with Hannah. Aesha thinks the cake looks amazing. Hannah calls for the crew to practice the dance.

On deck, Cassandra shows them choreography to one of Ashley’s songs. Aesha had fourteen years of dance; modern jazz, and ballet, which she found too slow and boring.  Colin makes some corrections as far as rhythm goes, and Cassandra has him come to the front and help. In his interview, he says he’s got to show off his skills. Anastasia chops onions, making me think of the no onion guy a few seasons ago. In Anastasia’s interview, she says, so far, the guests love the food. She wants to make sure their last meal leaves a good impression. The guests are seated. Aesha cleans the cabins.

Hannah radios for help running plates, but no one responds. The captain goes to the galley. She’s getting mad. They’re short staffed, and the crew has to step it up. She says, whoever’s on deck get in the galleynow – but she’s the one who ends up helping. Cauliflower bisque with garlic croutons sounds so good. Travis and Jack talk about the girls. Jack says Hannah’s boobs want out. You’re not supposed to cage a free bird. Colin clears the plates, and Daniel says it’s the best cauliflower he’s ever had, making me want it more. In Anastasia’s interview, she says she’s impressing the guests and herself. She doesn’t think she knew how good she was. Filet mignon, baby carrots, shallot sauce, salmon. I’m dying. Hannah tells Anastasia the guests are loving it, and asks the guys to change into the T-shirts.

She calls the crew into the main salon. She tells them that they’ll be snug while they’re performing; the space is kind of small. They go upstairs. Ashley freaks out. Anastasia brings up the cake, saying it’s their wrap party surprise. Even Captain Sandy joins in the dance. Colin has no idea what these dances are, but Ashley loves them. She hugs everybody. These are much nicer guests than they usually get. Ashley thinks everything is so cool, and the unicorn cake is the cutest thing ever. Anastasia is happy that they’re happy. In her interview, Anastasia says, it feels good that Ashley feels special. To be part of a crew who made it special, makes it worth it – and the money. Ashley says it’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her. In the galley, Captain Sandy tells Anastasia, this is her calling. Anastasia says she needs better knife skills. In the captain’s interview, she says to witness a third stew perform like this, she’s blown away. She’s never seen anything like it in her career. Aesha pretends to be bummed, and asks what her parents gave her. Anastasia says, sex jokes?

The captain tells the guys, it’s all fun and games until it’s time to go back to work. Anastasia goes to bed. Jack shoves cake in his mouth. Most of the crew is done, but Hannah is still cleaning up at 1 am. It looks so tedious. In her interview, she says they’re a person down in interior, and they feel it. There’s no way they can survive the season. Anastasia is a Band-Aid to the problem, and they can’t go on like this.

Last day of charter. The captain tells João that they’re hauling anchor at nine. Travis says he’s so effing tired. He’s exhausted, and sick of doing this sh*t. He asks for an hour, and João is cool with that. Travis can’t wait until he’s not working at 140%. Anchor is hauled, using a couple of guys this time. A breakfast buffet is laid out. Sheree loves how they all help out (like they had a choice, but she doesn’t know that). She adds that Anastasia is amazing. On deck, Anastasia tells Jack that she doesn’t get to go outside as chef. He asks how she’s going to feel when someone else is running the show, and she says she’ll miss it. The captain radios the crew to prepare for docking. Jack and Travis call each other stud muffin. Hannah can’t find her epaulets. João tells her just go out the way she’s dressed, and she has a lightbulb moment. She asks Captain Sandy what she thinks about them wearing their Ashley T-Shirts to say goodbye to the guests. Captain Sandy loves the idea. They dock, and the captain says, well done.

Hannah finds her epaulet shirt, and jokingly says, okay, everyone, change back. The crew lines up. The guests loved their time on board, and Daniel says, the chef killed it. Daniel thanks everyone, saying they were sincere and honest, and gives the captain an envelope, saying it’s a nice chunk for them. Captain Sandy says they’ll turn the boat around, and then have the tip meeting. I think one thing the crew didn’t really grasp was that the chef was responsible for a big part of that tip. The crew meets in the main salon.

Captain Sandy tells Colin to move a fender next time he’s hauling anchor. She tells him that he’s not in trouble, but if he does it again, it’s his paycheck. She says she’s kidding, but in her interview, says, sort of. I like her more each season. She loves how the team came together, and says, Anastasia is definitely a chef, and did an amazing job. It’s the biggest tip they’ve ever gotten on the Med – $27K or $2330 each. She reminds them that they are one crew member down. Anastasia wants to make it rain on herself. Hannah says they worked hard. They don’t need a chef.

The captain calls Anastasia to the bridge. She says she asked Anastasia to be the chef, and she stepped in. When she saw what Anastasia was doing, she thought it was phenomenal. They got the biggest tip ever, and the food had something to do with it. There’s no question in her mind; Anastasia can do this. She soars as a chef. She asks if Anastasia wants to remain a chef, or go back to being third stew. I’m almost crying;, this is so cool and exciting.

Anastasia says she wants to continue, and Captain Sandy is glad she said that. It’s the right answer for her. In her interview, the captain says she’s going to stick with Anastasia. She trusts her. She’s witnessed what Anastasia can do, and she has the right attitude. Why would she not want to propel someone from third stew to galley, and see their potential? She tells Anastasia to own the galley. She’s not a third stew anymore; she’s a chef. In Anastasia’s interview, she says, when they needed someone who knew how to cook, it happened to be her, now she’s the effing chef. Hannah marvels over getting the best tip ever. The captain calls an agency, and says she’s looking for a third strew. Hannah tells the others that she’s never worked with a crew who came together like they did. Captain Sandy calls Hannah to the bridge.

The captain tells Hannah, good news. She thinks so anyway. Anastasia is going to be chef, but there’s a third stew ready who has experience. Travis is still going to help out in the galley, and they’ll be fine. In Hannah’s interview, she doesn’t think Anastasia should be chef. Not because she’s not good, but she’s not experienced. It’s not cadet camp, where you learn on the job. Captain Sandy announces that Anastasia is now chef, and Travis will still be working in the galley. Travis says, f**k me, and João wants his deckhand back. In his interview, he says he only has one left, along with one who hardly works. So there are two of them willing and able. Anastasia thought with her ego when she took the position. I’m not sure what’s wrong with her taking the opportunity she was given, but okay. Hannah says it’s the first time she’s had a strong team, and she wants to keep it, because at the end of the day, it’s all about her. She laughs, but I think she’s only half-joking. Captain Sandy says she’s going into town.

The girls get their bathing suits on, and lie on the sun deck. Hannah says she was just wired the provision list. In her interview, Anastasia says she knows she has a big responsibility. She’d be lying if she said she’s 100% confident, but she’s gotta fake it til she makes it. She’s got to pretend she has the biggest balls on the boat. Colin tells Jack that his services are needed on the bow. Jack sees the girls, and says he was sent up to help them clean. He gets a tray of drinks for them, leaving his radio on one of the chairs in the bar. João tries to get ahold of him, asking if he wants to get the work done, or stay until eight. João tells Colin that he bets Jack has no radio, and Colin suggests dangling a butt in front of him to get him moving. João says he could dangle anything but work. In João’s interview, he says they need to pick up more slack, not be given extra slack. He’s never dealt with someone who doesn’t want to work. Jack carries the tray out in his underwear, and Hannah says what he lacks in work ethic, he makes up for in humor.

Jack gets a beer, and João asks what he’s doing. They still have to work, and they’re going to have issues. Jack asks when they’re going to be done, and João tells him, just work until they’re finished. Top to bottom; accomplish what they can, but it’s not up to Jack to decide when they’re finished. Why is it difficult? In his interview, João says, Jack has a beer in his hand, and he’s putting the hose away. He doesn’t want to learn. He’s here for the money and good time, and it’s frustrating. João says he can be a good leader for people who want to be led. Jack tells Hannah that work gets in the way of his life. In Jack’s interview, he says he’s obviously crossed the line, so he’s not going to keep winding João up.

Travis and Jack have a beer and a smoke. Jack tells Travis that João should just say what needs to be done, and he’ll do it. Travis suggests writing a list. In Travis’s interview, he says he’ll back Jack until he dies. He can be lazy, but it’s mainly about how you speak to him. If you talk down to him, he’s like, screw you. Travis understands because he’s the same way. Jack says he’s not stupid just because he’s not passionate about washing a boat. He just wants to have a good time tonight.

Anastasia is excited. She needs to blow off steam. She’s an effing chef, and they effing drink. The crew goes into Cannes.

So, in France, is a French bulldog just a bulldog? The drinking commences. João toasts to one less crew member sharing the tip. Anastasia tells Colin that she thinks people don’t understand. They think she just cooks, but 50% of the charter is what she puts on the plate. It takes a lot of planning, and she’s in the galley all day long by herself; it’s tough. She felt like she couldn’t say no, but João says if she didn’t want to do it, she should have said so. She’s employed to be a third stew, and she’s great at it. She’s great as a chef too, but is she a seven-star chef? Is she a Michelin chef? No. In her interview, Anastasia says, read my face. Tell me I’m doing great. He says, she doesn’t have to accept what she doesn’t want to. Anastasia gets up, and walks away from the table, and João wonders how being honest screws him over. She has a say in what she’s doing.

Next time, the new stew arrives, João calls Aesha whorish, Jack flirts with Aesha, and Jackie Siegal from Queen of Versailles is the primary.

🙊 Not a Spoiler Anymore…

The psychic said Finn would have more women than he could handle. Two sounds about right.

https://soapdirt.com/general-hospital-spoilers-hayden-barnes-crashes-party-finn-cant-handle-it/

🌄 Something For Oscar…

A successful trip by a cancer survivor to Mount Kilimanjaro. Which I can spell by heart now.

https://www.worldnomads.com/stories/fear/the-hardest-thing-i-have-ever-done?utm_source=worldnomads&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nomadsnews-91-jul-sch&utm_content=image

🍼 If Anyone Still Cares…

I guess Ashley from The Real Housewives of Potomac finally talked her husband into it. I tune in to a few minutes of the show now and then, but like I did with The Jersey Shore, I remember why I stopped watching, and tune back out.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1054973/real-housewives-of-potomac-star-ashley-darby-gives-birth-to-baby-boy?source=email&medium=emn-content-2&cmpid=morning-a&content=emn-news

🎧 While I Was Looking For Songs About Tuesday…

This came up. And I thought, why not? Especially since I just watched A Simple Favor, which was full of foreign pop. Which I love.

March 19, 2018 – Jim is Backed Into a Corner, SUR Invades Mexico, a Little Ramble, Tuesday & Ed Grimley

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Griff puts stickers on the charts, covering some information. He gives Brad the subjects’ DNA, and asks if he can put a rush on it. Brad doesn’t think he can.

Jim’s thug asks Jim what he’s supposed to do with Franco and Drew. Jim says keep them on ice for a while. He can’t risk being exposed. The mayor already has his number, but has as much to lose as they do.

Olivia-Q tells Ned that she’s considering running for the school board. She’s tired of hearing parents complaining about bussing in kids from the Charles Street district. She’s going to bitch slap the next one who says they can’t be accommodated. Ned tells her to go for it. She asks if he’s going to bail her out for the assault charges, and he’s like, what? She asks what has him so distracted. He says he’s the newly elected mayor, and asks if recovery from the earthquake isn’t enough. Sam and Elizabeth walk in. They need to ask him a few questions.

Franco looks at the door. Drew asks what he’s doing, and he says remembering he doesn’t know how to pick a lock. He’s sure Jason could open it with no problem. He’d stare at it, and after alternating waves of intensity and aloofness, the door would lose confidence. Ha-ha! I love Todd Franco.

At the MetroCourt bar, Jason gives Anna the PK Sinclair manuscript. She asks how he came by it, and he tells her it was in the fireplace when they tracked down Britt. She said it just showed up, and shook Faison. Jason guesses he tried to burn it. Anna is glad the publishing house has the rights to Faison’s nom de plume, especially if Henrik turns out to be the author.

Maxie stops by Peter’s office to thank him. She apologizes for the vasectomy story, and he says it certainly was creative. She was right about Nina being super sensitive and overprotective of her and the baby. She has good people who care about her. She says with Nina worrying for her, it leaves her time to think about other things. He’s hoping one of them is the Crimson budget; Nina will find a way to adjust with her help. She tells Peter that she’s going home, and he asks if she means she decided to go back to the apartment.

Sam and Elizabeth tell Ned about Drew and Franco being missing, and that the police won’t help them look because they’re dealing with the earthquake. Ned says they can’t expect him to ask the PCPD to divert their attention from the disaster relief. Sam says they need to contact Jim, and they know Jim is a friend of his. Ned snaps at them, saying that man is not his friend.

Jim’s thug hopes he’s right about Mayor Quartermaine being in his pocket. Jim thinks a little time in solitary will persuade Drew and Franco to keep their mouths shut. The thug asks what if it doesn’t, and Jim says then they eliminate them. The thug says, you mean…? Jim says, kill them. What else would he mean? He tells the thug not to look surprised; there are no other options. The thug says he signed up for making millions, not killing people. Jim tells him to wait for his signal. Hopefully, they won’t have to take drastic action, but they have to make sure Drew and Franco aren’t found. Jim doesn’t seem to be a very good criminal or businessman. I’m shocked he’s actually made any money. Or that he’s lived this long.

Franco tells Drew that he had a bad moment, but it’s not all his fault the plan went south. Drew takes responsibility for the plan’s failure, and suggests they get back to the time they trusted each other. Or was giving him the rabbit’s foot an empty gesture? Franco says, no, he meant it. Drew says what’s liberating about being trapped together, is that they have nowhere to go; they’re stuck. If Franco has anything to get off his chest, there’s no time like the present. Franco says he’s good. Drew says then he’ll focus on getting out, and suggests Franco do the same. Drew looks at his hand, and says, you’ve got to be kidding me. Franco asks if there’s somewhere he has to be, and Drew says his wedding ring is missing. If they stole it, he’s going to kill them all.

Anna tells Jason that at the time, she was too close to give an objective analysis to the manuscript. Faison is no longer a threat, so she’s going to go through it, page by page. Jason says Spinelli ran it through a program that can predict the ending, and he can send her the information. She declines, saying she needs to be sure she’s reading the author’s thoughts; his creation. With any luck, it will bring her to Henrik.

Maxie tells Peter that she knows it’s weird. She can’t stand to be in the apartment, but she’s fine in the hotel. He says it’s her grief, and it’s up to her how she chooses to deal with it. She says she’s not mourning the way Nathan died, but she’s mourning their life; the years they could have spent with the baby and Georgie. The office might be connected to his death, but had nothing to do with his life. The apartment is her life without Nathan; accepting reality, and letting go of the plans they had. She’s not sure she’s ready. She almost didn’t have Nina bring her back, but after she heard the test results, she was so relieved, she told herself she had to live on for their child, and asked Nina to take her home. Peter asks what she found, and she says mail piled up. Everything addressed to Nathan. His unfinished business waiting there, and he’s not coming home. Peter hugs her.

Griff says he knows it’s the type of thing Brad usually delegates, but it’s important. Brad tells him that he  hasn’t provided a third party authorization. Griff says Brad has a reputation of asking for forgiveness rather than permission, but Brad says that’s before he and Lucas decided on adoption. He tells Griff that the adoption will be closed, and finding his birth parents affected his family. Griff wasn’t aware Brad was adopted, and Brad says Lucas was too, but he would know that, having known Lucas for so long. Griff asks for a favor as an old friend of Brad’s husband. Brad says he likes this side of Griff better than the holier-than-thou side, when he wore his stethoscope around his collar, but he’s not comfortable getting mixed up in this thing. Griff tells him he’ll be running the test on the side of the angels, and Brad says, there’s the Father/Doctor Monroe we know and love. He asks why it’s so important.

Elizabeth tells Ned that Jim was his biggest supporter. Ned apologizes for snapping; he has a lot on his mind. Sam asks if there was a rift between him and Jim. Ned says, no. He supported measure A and Jim’s redevelopment, but after the earthquake, it was a sore subject. Sam says Jim’s not picking up the phone, and asks if Ned knows where he’s staying. Ned gives them the motel information, and they leave. Olivia says the way they’re working together, you’d never know they hate each other. Ned asks if she noticed they were playing good cop/bad cop. I didn’t, but Olivia did. She says Ned was crawling out of his skin, and asks what gives? He has something he needs to tell her.

Jason asks Anna what she’s hoping to find, and she says, clues. Jason thought Faison never left a trail, but she says Faison the author wasn’t as cautious as Faison the spy. He left clues in his books. If Henrik follows the formula, there might be a message intended to lead to Faison to his son. Jason says Spinelli didn’t find any leads, and Anna says he doesn’t know the author like she does. Jason says Henrik could be completely different. Since they’re working together, he’d like to know the real reason she’s so invested in finding Henrik.

Maxie says she’s sorry, and Peter tells her that she has nothing to apologize for. She promised herself that she wouldn’t break down again. He suggests helping her with the mail, but she says Nina already took it. Except for this piece. She takes an envelope out of her bag.

Ned explains Jim’s motives to Olivia. He didn’t care about redeveloping Charles Street; he wanted what was underneath it. Olivia says he talked a good game, but she knew there was something she didn’t like. Funny how everyone keeps saying this now. Ned tells her drilling for gas is risky, even when properly regulated. When he was confronted, he had zero remorse. His motivation is greed and self-preservation. Olivia says he has to be held accountable, and Ned says, so does he.

Sam knocks on Jim’s door, saying she saw his car outside. He opens the door to find her and Elizabeth. Elizabeth says they’re looking for Franco and Drew. Maybe he can point them in the right direction. He says he would if he could, but he hasn’t seen them. Sam tells him that they said they were going there. After he told Drew what Franco had done, Drew was going to confront Franco, but they haven’t heard from either of them since. Elizabeth says she and Sam thought maybe they came back there. Sam says after Franco threatened Jim, she’s afraid he did worse to Drew.

Drew and Franco can’t find the ring. Franco wonders if Drew put it in his pocket, but Drew says it never comes off; it’s a part of him. He gives Franco the rabbit’s foot, saying he doesn’t want to lose it. Franco says Jim told him that he’d been a bad boy, and his mom wouldn’t believe him. Nobody would ever believe him, because everyone knows he’s just a liar.

Anna tells Jason that she needs to debrief Henrik, as an alleged co-conspirator. Jason thinks there’s more to it, and she explains about the disease Faison had, saying Henrik needs to be told. Jason asks why that’s her job.

Maxie hands Peter the envelope, saying that Nathan opened a trust account for the baby. As soon as he found out she was pregnant, he started a college fund. He was practical, a planner and saver; one of them had to be. He would have been a great father, and now the baby is stuck with her. Peter says she’s a terrific mother already. She tells him that she had it easy with Georgie. As difficult as the separation has been, she has Spinelli and Ellie, and Ellie makes Spinelli look like a beatnik in comparison. She lives beyond her means, and is constantly screwing up. Peter reminds her how far she came in the company, and that she trained Nina. Maxie say that’s just her job, but he thinks it shows understanding and responsibility. Nina would do anything for her; he’s experienced her dragon glare. Maxie says when he puts it that way, she almost believes him.

Griff tells Brad that the patients are high profile and want discretion. Once the test results are on file and the records match up, he’ll get the third-party form. He needs them as soon as humanly possible. Brad will actually be helping a lot of people. Brad says okay, but he’s trusting Griff, addressing him as Father.

Sam tells Jim it’s important, and asks if Drew contacted him. She knows he needed answers as much as Franco wanted to hide them. Elizabeth insists he’d never hurt Drew. Jim says the last time he saw Franco was before the earthquake, and he hasn’t seen Drew since they were at the hospital. Sam wants to give him her number, and walks over to the desk. Jim whips the paper on the desk out from under her, saying it’s proprietary information, and rolls it up. He tells Elizabeth this must be troubling, talking to her in the doorway, which leaves Sam to look around. Elizabeth is worried, since they’re in a disaster area, but she had faith that Franco would never hurt Drew. Jim says the truth is that “Bobby” did what he did to Drew, and kept it buried inside a long time. If they’re both missing, she does have something to be concerned about.

Drew if Jim was talking about the top of the stairs when he called Franco a bad boy. Franco doesn’t know. He remembers seeing Jim at top of the stairs, and Drew at the bottom. Drew asks if he remembers pushing him, and Franco says no, but he doesn’t remember that he didn’t.

Anna tells Jason that she’s beyond grateful, and hopes they continue to work together. What she’s not telling him has nothing to do with the search. She says Robin told her that she trusts him the most to have her back, no questions asked. She hasn’t earned that from him yet, but she’s asking him to treat her like her daughter. She needs him to trust her. She has her reasons.

Maxie thanks Peter for talking, and says he should start charging her. He jokes that he’s docking her. She says going back feels impossible, and he says, until it isn’t. She wonders when she’ll know. He says she won’t be thinking about it, and the next thing she knows, she’ll be standing in doorway. She says she’ll trust him on that. She’s sorry he didn’t get chance to know Nathan. She thinks they would have liked each other. She leaves and forgets the envelope. By the time Peter realizes, she’s gone.

Olivia tells Ned not to think of blaming himself; it’s all on Jim. Ned says he let him drill, but Olivia says Ned let him start construction. Ned tells her that he approved the plan. She says he had no idea, but he says Jim sees it differently. He’d said that given the fact they were working closely, and he was advocating the redevelopment, no one will buy that he was completely in the dark. Olivia says he has no proof unless he has something on tape, but Ned says he doesn’t think the city can take it. Thanks to Sonny, they’re already synonymous with organized crime, and the last mayor stole the election. How is it going to look? The office will still be tainted. How is he going to accomplish anything if they think he was in bed with public enemy number one? Olivia asks what he’s going to do, and he says the only thing he can do.

Jim claims that Franco was in a rage and out of his mind. He could have done something and left town. Elizabeth says, not the Franco she knows. He says it’s difficult to hear the truth, but what reason would he have to lie to her? Sam gives him a paper with her number on it. He says sorry that he couldn’t be more help, and they leave. Outside, Elizabeth tells Sam that Jim knows more than he’s telling. Sam says she found proof, and holds up Drew’s ring. She found it on the floor. Drew was wearing it the last time she saw him, so he was in that room. Jim lied.

On the phone, Jim says too many people are catching on. Yeah, like the whole town. He says, they’re out of options. Take care of them.

Drew says if Franco pushed him or didn’t, they were just little kids. What they do know is Jim is lying, and whatever he’s hiding must be bad. Look where they are. Everything that happened in the past doesn’t matter. What does is getting out and getting answers. They’re going to get them together. He asks if that sounds okay, and Franco says it would be great. They hear the beep of a truck backing up.

Olivia ask if Ned is out of his mind, but he says there’s no other way. She says he’d better think of one. Mayor Ned Quartermaine doesn’t run away, abandoning the city and its people when they need him the most. He says she’s right. He needs to make sure Jim doesn’t get away with it. She says after that, he might want to stay mayor. Let this play out, and trust the people of Port Charles to know who he is, and that his intentions are pure. He wishes he had her faith. She knows how much he loves the city. He wants to make it better. He wants them to see the Port Charles that he knows; the potential he sees. He doesn’t see it happening on his watch, but Olivia says maybe he still can. They’re going to save the city, and she knows just how to do it.

Griff sees Brad leaving the hospital, and asks where he’s going. Brad says, home. His husband made dinner, which is risky at best. Griff thought he put a rush on the test, but Brad says Griff knows they’re not instantaneous. He’ll have it in the morning.

Jason trusts Anna. Whatever she can’t disclose, he knows she has her reasons. She thanks him for his discretion and the manuscript. He thinks it seems to be getting more personal, but he’s not asking why. He hopes whatever is in the manuscript helps her find what she’s looking for. Anna says she does too.

On the phone, Peter says they spoke a few months ago about a manuscript. He’s ready to publish it. He knows how the story ends. He looks at the envelope Maxie left.

Tomorrow, Jordan hopes to find what she’s looking for, Sam isn’t letting Jim out of her sight, and Curtis says he has him.

Vanderpump Rules

Have I mentioned how much I hate Jax?

Tom comes in early to work on cocktails. Lisa tells him to give her something she’s never tasted. They’re meeting with TomTom’s designer, Nick Alain today. Tom wants to prove himself, since annoyed Nick in the Vegas showroom. Lisa tells him not to make it more convoluted than it is already. In her interview, Lisa wants them to leave the designing and organizing to her.

Stassi meets Lala’s music producers, since she’s helping plan Lala’s showcase. Lala is leaving the fancy sh*t up to Stassi. They all check out the venue, the patio of The Phoenix restaurant, which has a satellite bar. Stassi wants it like a sexy, dark, mildly haunted house. She and Lala share a giant pretzel, and Lala asks how Stassi felt about girls’ night. Stassi says even though she’s tried to communicate with Ariana, it’s Ariana’s way or the highway. She says everyone gets shamed for calling someone else out, and then they end up apologizing. Lala calls her a gangster bitch.

Jax has an appointment with Kelsey, and asks Brittany to make herself scarce. He tells her that he’s asking nicely, saying these are the little things that will make the relationship better. In her interview, Brittany is not thrilled. Jax straightens up the apartment, so we know he’s looking at this as more than a reiki session. Kelsey arrives and has him center. In his interview, he says she breaks you down and rebuilds you. Whenever he sees her, he has the best day of his life. He calls her the Jax whisperer, and I gag. He tells her the trip is giving him anxiety. He’d love it to be one big happy trip to Mexico, but that’s not their group. He got a job offer in Tampa doing client relations, social media, and marketing for hockey. Kelsey tells him he’s almost ready to be released, but there’s a lot of emotional and mental stress. That will happen when you try to think without a brain. She gives him some stones to dissolve negative energy. Have I told you that I hate Jax? I hate those stones too.

Brittany asks how it went. Jax says it’s always amazing. Kelsey is helping him cope with his issues. Brittany asks what she’s doing that helps so much. He says she knows how to get through to him. He says blah-blah-blah you need patience with him. Kelsey calls him Jason, because he wants her to know the person he used to be. Brittany says he never asked her to call him Jason, and this is coming out of nowhere. He tells her about the position he was offered, and says it’s a dream job. They’re going to pay him to talk about hockey. In her interview, she says he’s acting like this has been a lifelong dream, but she’s never even heard about it before. He says he doesn’t see much holding him back, and there’s nothing there for him. He’s been living a Peter Pan lifestyle. Brittany says she’s been waiting for him to grow up too, and he whines that she can’t just say it’s nice. She says he knows he’s immature, and he tells her that he has to take care of himself first, and this is what he wants. She says they’ll figure it out when everything is confirmed.

Scheana manages to feed the cat, and gives Rob some fast food. She tells him girls’ night was fun. She thinks Brittany got her mojo back after Jax took it. Rob says it’s Brittany’s choice, but Scheana says sometimes it’s easier to stay, which is why she hesitated to get a divorce. Rob shows her logos for the Divorce Closet. She’s impressed at his work ethic. She asks what her role is. He wants her to be the face of the company, but he has majority equity. She tells him his eyes are very blue today, because her attention span is approximately five seconds. She tells Rob, the day they’re flying out to Mexico, her divorce is final. The next time she’s married, it will be to him. He says, wow, but not like, Wow! It comes out sounding more like, ugh.

Lisa visits the stables. it gives her a respite from the challenges in LA. Brittany meets her, and says she’s nervous, since she hasn’t ridden in a while, but just being around horses makes her think of home. Lisa is glad she came out, and asks how she’s doing. Brittany says she and Jax haven’t been fighting, and she’s planning the trip. Lisa wonders why she needs to make things better when he’s treated her like crap. Brittany thinks the trip will be good for them. In her interview, Brittany explains that Jax seems like a different person outside LA. I have an idea. How about finding a different person than Jax? She tells Lisa about the reiki sessions, and how they help Jax calm down. Lisa asks if the therapist is a man or a woman. Brittany tells her a woman, and Lisa suggests a conventional therapist. Brittany says Jax went once. Lisa thinks she should look after herself in the situation. In her interview, Lisa wonders why put up with Jax’s bullsh*t. She’ll never understand it. She doesn’t see him changing any time soon, but it’s what Brittany signed up for.

Construction is happening at the TomTom site. Lisa has the Tom and Schwartz observe. Nick Alain arrives. She wants it to be his masterpiece. He shows her a sketch, including a huge swinging pendulum. Lisa asks if he’s been smoking pot. He shows her another sketch. It’s all very steampunk, and Lisa says he’s a genius. Tom says they worked on five cocktails. He’s brought them for her to try. He starts with a mescal cocktail containing scorpion chili pepper. Lisa says she thinks she’s been stung by the scorpion.

Kristen goes over some outfits for the trip with Stassi.

Lala shows Scheana her spray tan. Scheana didn’t know they were going Oompa Loompa.

The plane ride is drinking, sleeping, and selfies. More drinking commences at the hotel upon their arrival. James says, I’m in Mexico, bitch, like he’s Jesse Pinkman. Their room has a private pool, and Jax is surprised Brittany has gone out of her way to make his birthday awesome. He should be surprised she’s still with him. I’m stunned. Schwartz opens ten-dollar peanuts from the mini bar, saying he’s opening a bar with Lisa and Ken. Things have changed. Katie is impressed they’ve made it through a year of marriage. The trip already feels different from previous ones. We flash back to some of those, and they weren’t pretty. Katie says they’re making amazing happy memories to eclipse the not-so-happy ones. Schwartz hopes they have sixty more years.

Brittany and Jax check out their pool. James and Peter show up, but Jax says he’s not coming out to where the peasants stay. In his interview, James says it’s the first time he’s been invited to Jax’s birthday, and he feels over the moon about it. I guess it doesn’t take much. Jax feels better, and thinks it has to do with Kelsey. What an a-hole. I can tell you this, if your dude is talking to you about another woman like that, get out. Jax says he’s in his own little world, and tells Brittany he loves her. She says she loves him too, and I want to cry.

Kristen bounces on the bed. Stassi tells her at two a.m., it’s lights out, and don’t deny her basic human rights. Kristen wails it’s her vacation too. Stassi points out that they have a balcony. The last time they had one, Kristen and Tom were dating, and she was going to throw herself off. We flash back to that. Stassi tells her to stay away from it, and in response, Kristen opens some tequila.

Tom exfoliates and does his hair, explaining how it’s a different process in the Mexican climate. He’s a manscaping chameleon.

Jax takes Tom and Schwartz aside, and tells them about his new job opportunity. He’s 95% on the side of taking it. I have to say it. A “job opportunity” does not mean you have the job. We see a clip of Brittany telling him that he sprung it on her, and they haven’t really talked about it. She says she loves her friends, and he tells her that they don’t pay the bills. She says it’s a lot to think about, and not an overnight decision, and he says, for her. In her interview, Brittany says he’s not even thinking about her feelings, especially after the heartbreak she’s gone through. It seems like he’s just thinking about himself yet again. Listen, honey, he’s the one who put you through that heartbreak, and if he’s not thinking about your feelings at this point in the game, he never will. She doesn’t get why he didn’t come to her. He decided without talking to her. He says they’re talking right now, and she tells him It seems like he’s made up his mind without asking her. He asks if she’s going to make him turn down his dream job, and she says maybe she’s not his dream girl. She had a dream of being in a good relationship, and not being cheated on. In his interview, Jax says he’s burned out with the constant battle. Please. She tells him to let her know when he has a definitive answer. She wants to focus on being in Mexico and having fun.

SUR survives without this motley crew. Lisa tells Adam and Wesley that their problems are miles away. Adam wants to go from barback to bartender. Lisa says on a Saturday night, he might have to make 350 drinks. In her interview, she explains that being a barback, doing whatever is needed behind the bar and replenishing whatever the bartender needs, is different from a bartender. Bartending is a skill, and takes more talent than being a gorgeous specimen. She asks Adam to make a mojito. In her interview, she says he needs a lot of work in this department, even though he’s already better than Jax. We see some clips of Jax being the worst bartender in the world. Lisa says he’ll have to focus if he wants to make it work. Adam says she makes him nervous, and Wesley says there are customers tougher than Lisa.

The group in Mexico meets for dinner, and Brittany says they’re going to a natural waterpark tomorrow. They toast with tequila shots to Scheana’s divorce. She has a countdown app, and it’s official. She tells everyone that Rob is a man who hangs a TV in seven minutes. In her interview, Stassi suggests that Scheana get a new hobby, like crossword puzzles. Although if Scheana did one, all of the answers would be Rob. Ha-ha-ha! I love Stassi. Stassi says she has nightmares about those three letters. She doesn’t even like mariachi bands, but wishes one would come by.

Jax takes Tom and Schwartz aside, and says he’s gotten a blessing in disguise. He got a call from a friend in Tampa, where there’s a position open in social media/marketing. They’d love to have him head it up. I’m still trying to figure out how this is a blessing in disguise. Disguised as what? A job offer? Tom asks what that means. Jax doesn’t know <snort>, but says it’s his dream job. In his interview, Tom says he’s known Jax for fifteen years, and would miss him. He doesn’t want the band to break up. Schwarz asks who he would make horrible decisions with. Jax says he’s 38, has no education, and needs security. This is huge. In his interview, Jax says he’s happy for Tom and Schwartz, but he’s also jealous. He’s been falling into his old patterns, and is ready for something else. He tells the Toms that he hates to say it, but it’s time to grow up. He needs something in his life. They three-way bro hug.

Brittany tells the girls and James about the job. Katie says he’s had a few job opportunities over the years. We see clips from him starting a sweater line and a fitness app. She says she’ll believe when she sees it. Stassi asks Brittany about moving with him, and Brittany says he just sprang it on her. She’s not saying or doing anything yet. Lala is annoyed with Jax, and Scheana wants to hook Brittany up with anyone else. Ariana says Adam has a crush on her, and thinks they should invite him out with them. James says Jax will go mental, and I think of Ed Grimley.

Jax joins them, and Ariana asks what’s up with Tampa? How serious is the offer? Jax says he’ll be doing events. In her interview, Stassi says he can’t tell them what it’s called or what he has to do besides tweet about hockey. Ariana wants to make sure Brittany also does what she wants to with her life. Brittany asks if he remembers what her dream is; she did it in high school. Ariana says they all know. Brittany asks if he doesn’t remember her talking about tutoring disabled children. In her interview, Lala says he’s been with her for two years, and doesn’t know sh*t about her. Brittany says she’s told him ten million times that she’s wanted to help with disabled kids. Lala tells Jax that he’s no longer single man, it’s a partnership. He asks if it’s between him and Brittany, or him and her? Lala says she’s watched him disrespect people over and over, and he needs to respect Brittany. In her interview, Lala says Jax is being a jerk, and to bullsh*t around with the coolest girl ever shows that he’s full of it. Jax tells her to take care of her own relationship. James thinks Jax is going to lose his temper, and Tom suggests they pump the brakes on this. Stassi says whenever she walks past their apartment, she hears the disrespectful way Jax talks to Brittany. Tom tells her that’s inappropriate; she’s his ex. Stassi says he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and Kristen says she thought he was Brittany’s friend. Tom says he just found out that his friend might be moving to Florida, and we all break out the violins. Stassi leaves, and Lala follows. Jax says it’s a whole ten minutes into the trip.

Next time, fun in the water, Stassi accuses Kristen of being a terrible travel companion, Rob thinks Scheana should turn off her phone, and Scheana tries to hook Brittany up with Adam.

🍻 It continues to be a wasted summer on Summer House. Kyle acted like a drunken fool, after which he claimed they “were all embarrassing.” I hate that. The worst person to party with in the world is the one who says, “we were all drunk,” when they were the one who was the idiot. New guy Amit seems more mature than the others. I think they kidnapped him.

💅 The Real Housewives of Potomac will be back on Sunday, April 1st at 10 pm. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. With this show, I’d have to agree that they are all embarrassing.

😵 Other people I mix up who aren’t Black. Jon Bon Jovi and John (Cougar, not Cougar) Mellencamp, and Cameron Diaz and Ellen Barkin. Just sayin’.

👯 5 Reasons Tuesdays Are Wildly Underrated

  1. It’s the Safest Day to Drive. Car accidents are LEAST likely to happen on Tuesday.
  1. You’re at Peak Productivity. People get more done on Tuesday than any other day of the week.
  1. Tuesday are Great Days to Change Careers. The Biggest Job Posting Day from employers is Tuesday.
  1. People Are Free to Meet. The most available time on people’s calendars is Tuesday at 2:30 PM.
  1. You Can Meet Your Gym Bestie. Tuesday is the most popular day for exercise classes… you can have both Gym and Tacos!

From – DarbySmart.com newsletter

👦 Ed Grimley