Tag Archives: Tyler Perry

June 30, 2020 – Revisiting Michael In Prison, Who Are They, Almost There, a Loving Reunion, Selling Mid-Century, RHOBH News, Another Goodbye, Jameela Is Done & Believe


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

GH Flashback from June 4th, 2010, come on down!

At the MetroCourt, Carly told Spinelli that she wanted to give Dante a taste of what he gave Michael, who’d been put in prison for Claudia’s murder. She wanted criminal charges brought against Dante, and for him to sit in Pentenville until he rots. She asked if Spinelli could handle that. Olivia and Brook made dinner for Dante and Lulu at Dante’s place. Lulu wanted to contribute some flowers, but had brought goldenrod, and they told her Dante was allergic, recalling a funny story about how he wreaked havoc at a wedding with a sneezing fit. Seriously though, who brings goldenrod to anyone if they don’t know that information? Dante wanted to talk to Michael, but instead got Jason, who’d gotten himself put in prison to protect Michael. Jason said Michael had nothing to say to Dante, and if Dante wanted to see Michael, he could bring the paperwork to get Michael released. He told Dante to stay away until then. Sonny picked up Kristina for therapy with Dr. Spaulding, and told Alexis that he was attending the session with her. He didn’t want to be held responsible for Kristina’s issues, but Alexis told him to keep the focus on Kristina, and not make it about him. She warned him not to be angry and defensive, and he said he’d never abused women. Alexis suggested that he was guilty of verbal abuse.

Spinelli told Carly that setting Dante up with a criminal offense had to be carefully timed. The Jackal’s case had to be airtight, and it could be a red flag if it was too close to Michael’s conviction. Carly said, stage one, they’d get Brook to seduce Dante; and stage two, they’d take their time and leave a trail of breadcrumbs. Spinelli wondered who should follow the trail, and Carly said, maybe Lucky. Spinelli said his cyber-skills would get justice for Michael and Jason, and Dante would pay. Brook talked about dancing with Dante at the wedding where he caused a commotion, and Olivia said they were sweet.

Dante said Jason had gotten himself sent to prison to protect Michael, but didn’t need to protect Michael from him. He already blamed himself, and was doing his damnedest to get Michael released. Jason said Dante just wanted Sonny to think he cared, and wondered if Dante was still building a case against Sonny. He told Dante that he’d never trust him again. Meanwhile, Luke and Tracy were in a medieval looking cell. Tracy wasn’t well, and Luke hollered for the guards. Tracy told Luke that he was doing a good impersonation of a caring husband. He called for a doctor, or even an aspirin handed through the bars; anything. Tracy said this was the price they were paying for Luke’s obsession with dragon lady Helena, and asked if he had any more bright ideas.

Ethan (Luke and Holly’s son) told Lucky that he’d heard Luke had been gone for a week, and the last time he was seen, he’d been worried about Tracy. He thought Tracy was probably in Fiji, and asked if Lucky didn’t think Luke had joined her. Lucky asked how Ethan’s second job with Johnny was going, and said Johnny’s vendetta against Sonny wasn’t a good idea. He said it was like poking a stick in a hornet’s nest, and if they weren’t careful, they’d start a mob war. Ethan said he was a lover, not a fighter, but had no reason to like Sonny. He wondered if Luke had left because of his affiliation with Johnny, but Lucky didn’t think so. At the hospital, Steven (Webber) talked about an up and coming drug a friend of his had invented that would provide restoration of tendons and cartilage, and said he wanted to invest in it. He thought it would be an exciting opportunity, and if it performed as expected, he could become financially independent. Elizabeth said she didn’t want to remain dependent, especially on Nikolas. Back at Dante’s, Lulu told Olivia that if a man’s heart was through his stomach, she was screwed, but Olivia said Dante loved her, and she’d been a rock for him, even when he went undercover. She didn’t think he would have gotten through it without Lulu. Lulu said Dante did what was right, and she admired that.  Olivia said Dante would still be blaming himself for what happened to Michael if not for Lulu’s love and support.

Sonny told Dr. Spaulding that he wanted Kristina to heal, and figure out why she felt the need to protect Kiefer for so long. Kristina wondered how her relationship with her dad might have affected her relationship with Kiefer, and was glad he came with her. Sonny didn’t see a connection, and said any man who hit a woman was a monster. Kristina said she knew he felt that way, but maybe it wasn’t that simple. The doctor asked Sonny to define abuse, and Sonny talked about physical abuse, saying he and his mother went through many years of it. It helped him to understand, but it made him sick. Kristina said Sonny had been abusive to Claudia, and had screamed in the courtroom that she’d gotten what she deserved. She said Sonny had also provoked Johnny, and Sonny said Johnny lied, saying he was an abuser, and he wondered why Kristina believed Johnny over him. Lucky told Ethan that Luke loved his children, but loathed giving them advice and counsel. Ethan thought Luke was probably off risking his life, and Lucky was concerned he might get killed. Lulu had been caught in the fallout from Michael’s conviction, and Helena was lurking in the shadows, drawing Luke like a moth to a flame. Maya (Edward Quartermaine and Mary Mae Ward’s great-granddaughter) joined them, and said she’d checked with the Quartermaines, and Tracy wasn’t in Fiji; it was a false trail, and no one had heard from her. She’d disappeared, and hadn’t even called ELQ. Lucky said it had Helena’s fingerprints all over it. Brook tried to teach Lulu some cooking skills, and Dante came home early. Dante tasted the sauce, and said Brook was an angel sent from heaven.

Carly told Spinelli that she was thinking drug money, and asked if he could access a drug cartel and do a fund transfer. He said nothing was beyond the reach of the assassin of cyberspace, and she said once it was realized that Dante was sitting on cash, and it led back to drugs, his career would be destroyed, and he’d get a taste of his own medicine. Spinelli said it would be a stain on Dante’s reputation that would follow him for the rest of his days, and Carly said she loved it. Spinelli said it would shine a harsher light on Dante’s betrayal, which was the true crime. Carly told Spinelli, once he was involved, there was no backing out, but Spinelli said it was fitting justice. The Jackal wouldn’t rest until the deceitful one had paid for what he’d done. Olivia overheard, and asked who the deceitful one was. At Pentenville, Jason told Michael that there had been no progress as far as his release went. Michael said Dante claimed he was working on it, but he’d told Dante to save his breath; his father would get him out. Jason said he told Dante not to come back without the paperwork, and Michael said Dante just wanted to score points with Sonny. Jason said Sonny had given Dante the benefit of the doubt because Dante was his son. At her session, Kristina said Johnny told her that Sonny had been abusive to Claudia, but Sonny said he’d never hit her. Kristina said abuse was more than hitting, and Sonny said Claudia was a terrible person; she hurt everyone. Kristina said Sonny hated her, so he’d abused her. She said when Sonny gets into fixing mode, he goes off the hook, and flies into a rage. He’s scary, and makes them think it’s the other person’s fault. She’d stayed with Kiefer because it felt familiar. Then when he put her in the hospital, she apologized for him, like everyone did for Sonny. Sonny said Kiefer was twisted and sick, and he was nothing like him.

Ethan told Lucky it would be like Tracy to run off and have Luke chase her; it was their idea of foreplay. Lucky said Helena was in Port Charles, but Ethan said she was there to see her grandson. Maya said Lucky was bias, and so furious at Nikolas, he was blaming the Cassadines. Sonny accused Dr. Spaulding of brainwashing his daughter. He said, it wasn’t right, and he was out of there. Kristina didn’t want to go, but followed him out. Michael wondered if Sonny somehow knew Dante was his son before he was told, and that’s why he believed a stranger. Jason said Dante was a great liar; even he didn’t suspect Dante was undercover. Now that he knew the truth, he was never going to trust Dante again. Michael said Sonny wanted to trust Dante, and Jason said a father feels a connection to their kids, no matter what; it was unconditional love. Spinelli told Olivia that he’d been referring to an online gamer who cheated, and Olivia asked if he was sure he wasn’t talking about Dante. Spinelli said, most assuredly not. Olivia suggested they blamed Dante for Michael going to prison, but Carly said blaming Dante was a convenient way to avoid what was staring her in the face. She was responsible for Michael going to prison. It was her fault and no one else’s. Olivia told her not to beat herself up about it. Carly had always done the best for her son, and it was all anyone could do or expect. They’d focus on getting Michael out of prison, and no one would be happier than Dante. When she left, Spinelli told Carly that she was a most impressive liar, and she said it was a gift she was going to use to defeat Dante and make him pay. Dante asked Brook to stay for dinner, but she said it was a thank you to him and Lulu for getting her a job at the MetroCourt. Dinner was supposed to be waiting when he got home, but he came home early. Lulu said her only contribution would have made the night a disaster; she’d brought goldenrod. Dante insisted Brook eat with them.

Luke suggested he and Tracy go to the Amalfi coast, and get a private villa; price was no object. Tracy said that’s because it was her dime, and he said, on his dime, all they’d get was a shack on the beach, which was not her style. Tracy started coughing, and Luke yelled again for the guard, who told him Helena was on her way. Ethan said Helena had no reason to kidnap Tracy, but Lucky said she had plenty of reasons. Ethan was assuming Helena thought like a normal rational person, and she’s a psychopath. Ethan said maybe she’d mellowed after spending time with her grandson, and Lucky said she’d only use it to cause mayhem. Maya thought Lucky’s imagination was running amok. Lucky got a text from Luke, saying he and Tracy were escaping the madness by casino hopping in the Caribbean, and wanted to be left alone. He still wasn’t buying it, and Maya said if he was looking this hard for a sinister plot, that meant something wasn’t right closer to home. Steven told Elizabeth that the company was looking for a $100K minimum investment, but she said she didn’t have that kind of money. Sonny apologized to Kristina for losing his temper, and said he loved her. He was trying to help, and didn’t understand why she always believed the worst of him. She said she didn’t blame him for what happened with Kiefer; it was her choice to stay. Sonny said she still believed Johnny over him, and she said, no matter how bad Claudia was, she didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. Sonny said this wasn’t helping, and he’d check in tomorrow. Kristina made a call, saying she wanted to meet with someone. Dante and Brook reminisced, much to Lulu’s dismay.

Spinelli went to see Jason, who said Sam was worried about him. He said it looked like Spinelli hadn’t seen the light of day in a long time. Spinelli said he was involved in meaningful enterprises, and Jason wondered if he meant gaming. Spinelli said gaming helped him to accept missions others wouldn’t undertake. Jason asked what mission he was on, but Spinelli said it was hypothetical. Jason asked if Carly came see him, and dragged him into one of her crazy plans. Alone in his cell, Michael practiced some boxing, while another inmate (Carter) watched and then applauded. He said Michael had some fast moves, but it wasn’t going to do him any good. Ethan went to see Kristina, and she told him that she was seeing a therapist to find out why she stayed with Kiefer. He asked what she came up with, and she said it might be linked to her relationship with her dad. He and Kiefer were alike. Kiefer was in charge, would get mad, then apologize, saying how much he cared, and it would make her feel special. That’s how it was with her dad. Ethan said she was making progress, and Kristina said she’d invited Sonny to her therapy session, but it was like they were speaking two different languages. Then Sonny announced he was leaving. Ethan told her that she was brave to try, but she said she didn’t feel brave. She’d been a doormat for Kiefer, and felt pathetic. Ethan said she was a survivor, and he admired that. Kristina said that’s why she’d chosen to have a crush on Ethan. He’d told her to have respect for herself and not put up anything less. Even though she messed up and was too young for him, liking him was a positive step.

Sonny went to see Carly, who told him that he couldn’t be there. He said he’d gone to therapy with Kristina, and the shrink did what shrinks do; blame the parents. He thought the therapist was filling Kristina’s head with lies, but he began second guessing himself, and thought maybe everything wasn’t so black and white. Carly said that was a first for him, and Sonny said he never fought with anyone or was as angry with anyone like he was with her. He asked her if he’d been abusive, and she told him not to ask questions he didn’t want the answers to.

🤷‍♀️ If You’re Clueless Like Me…

Again I didn’t know from some of these characters, the flashback being during a time when I wasn’t watching. So for those who are in that boat, or need a refresher course…

All about Maya.


And Ethan.


And Carter. Not much on this guy, which is understandable.


🎥 Are We There Yet…?

It kinda sorta looks like GH will be taping new episodes again soon.



💗 If Loving You Is Wrong – Oh So Right

Edwina Findley (Kelly) hosted a special cast reunion done remotely. Included were Heather Hemmens (Marcie), April Parker Jones (Natalie), Zulay Henao (Esperanza), and Amanda Clayton (Alex).

Edwina said she’d asked for everyone’s OMG moment, and we saw clips of those. Hers was saying goodbye to Travis. She said it was the point where Kelly was stepping into her own power. Amanda said she never knew where Alex stood; every year she’d find out she’d been lying the year before. Her moment was at the Cowboy Bar, getting on the mechanical bull, and yelling, yehaw, bitches! She said Alex was a train-wreck, but it was fun. A viewer asked who Alex’s baby daddy was, and Alex said they knew it wasn’t Brad, Randal, or Lushion, and she felt choosing Ian would be a cop-out. She’d decided Alex had so many relationships, it was a Maury Povich situation, and thought it was one of Alex’s many one-night stands. When asked what she thought happened to Alex – at the end of the show, she’d been arrested for Randal’s murder, even though Marcie had killed him – she said with any luck, Alex made her way to a psyche ward, and got the help she needed. She told us that she’d quit waitressing to take the job, and felt there was a divine purpose in them coming together. They became a family, and she was also married with a baby now.

Heather’s OMG moment was when Marcie had found out Randal was having an affair with Alex, and leapt over his desk to attack him. She said that’s when she figured out what the show was going to be; it was everything combined in that moment, and defined Marcie’s emotional ride.

Cynthia and Thomasina – co-workers who lived in different states, but watched the show together via the phone – asked what happened that Marcie went nuts. Heather said she thought Marcie had snapped; that Randal had gotten to her one too many times. She hadn’t meant to kill him, but to show him not to touch her, once and for all. Well, she definitely succeeded. Heather said Marcie had taken it a little too far, but in a perfect world, she got away with it. She hoped Marcie got some peace in her life, and distanced herself from Maxine, along with Brad and the kids.

April’s moment was when Randal had invited himself into Natalie’s house. With her hand on a knife the entire time, she said he thought she was an ignorant-ass fool, but she was from the hood, and it wasn’t that way. Then she told him to get his ass out of her house right now. April said, often Natalie and Randal were the comic relief, but in that monologue she explained who Natalie was – she loved you, but understand that if she had to, she’d cut you. Natalie was her alter-ego. Tyler Perry saw through her, and told her that she knew she could allow herself to go there; it was the reason she’d gotten into acting. She said acting has been her freedom and therapy, and Tyler saw that. Marcie said she loved group prayer with Tyler in the morning, and loved how they held hands, connecting spiritually before a tough day. She also loved making Tyler laugh; it was always a big win. Edwina talked about how she found out her mother had cancer during the first season. When her mother had to go to hospice, she shared it with Tyler, and said she wanted to do something special for her mom. He’d arranged for a set visit, but unfortunately, her mother didn’t make it. She called Tyler when her mother died, and he shared his beautiful spirit, telling her about his own mom. Everyone agreed that Tyler is authentic and caring, even when no one is watching. Edwina said their sisterhood also meant a lot to her.

A viewer, who friends knew not call when the show was on, wondered what happened to Natalie and Lushion. April said they moved the hell out of Maxine, and had the wedding of their dreams – the wedding they deserved – and possibly one more baby.

Zulay’s moment was Esperanza’s final scene with Eddie when she shot him. Edwina said it was the moment fans had been waiting five seasons for, and Zulay said people had been on her since the beginning, but she wanted to handle it with empathy and love. Esperanza’s sole purpose was to be a good mom. Edwina said her sensitivity and honesty came through in her work. Viewer Renee from Houston asked what happened to Esperanza’s daughter, even though I thought it had been pretty clear she was dead. Zulay said Eddie had taken away everything Esperanza lived for. Edwina said the fans loved to hate Eddie, and asked Zulay what it was like working with Joel Rush. Zulay said there was never a dull day, and we saw clips of them behind-the-scenes, having fun. She said he was professional and awesome to work with.

Edwina said she had a surprise, and introduced the men. Besides Joel, there was Aiden Turner (Brad), Eltony Williams (Randal), and Charles Malik Whitfield (Lushion). Aiden said he missed everyone’s sense of humor, and their dinners on Friday night after work. They were a family unit, but now were spread out over the United States. Nothing he’d done before or since gave him the same connection. Joel said the show gave him a purpose, and he was a different man because of them and Tyler seeing something in him. Tyler gave him a shot, and he felt surrounded in love. He’s the man and father he is today because of the show. Charles said they weren’t just a team on the show, but a family. Tyler, Oprah, and OWN always included them in everything, and he said they were true friends. Eltony said there was great chemistry, and Tyler had pulled good work out of him.

The men departed, and Edwina said the ladies would have the last word. Amanda said she was still shocked that so many people watched diligently, including her own family and friends. Heather thanked the fans for letting them tell the stories. They were wild and inconceivable, but things happen in Maxinevilles all around the country. It being a female driven show was a moment of pride for her, and she thanked Tyler for putting women’s stories in the forefront. April was thankful for being a part of history with the rest of the cast, and thanked viewers for investing in the characters and their journeys. Zulay said she was grateful for the loyal fans, and especially for Tyler. He told her something that sounded simple, but changed the way she lived, not just professionally, but personally and spiritually. He told her, sometimes you have to live knowing. You need to live knowing you deserve your dream, and go get it. Edwina said she believe in the manifestation of dreams. She’d dreamt of working with Tyler and Oprah, and had stood under the OWN studio sign. She’d asked someone to take a picture of her, and the picture had been taken on September 9th, 2011. The show debuted on September 9th, 2014. She said there was no dream too big that God couldn’t manifest, although you might not know how or when it would happen. Zulay said Tyler continued to be good to them, and invited them to his studio opening in Atlanta. He surprised them by giving them stars on the Walk of Fame there. Edwina thanked Tyler for saying yes, and choosing them; thanked Oprah for the network (me too!), and allowing them to express their gifts and talents; and thanked the viewers at home for allowing them to be part of the family and being part of theirs.

I’m not sure if this answered any questions, but it was nice of Tyler and the network to give us one last hurrah. I have to admit though, it made me sadder than the finale did. It was like a final farewell.

💵 Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles

JoshA went to look at a mid-century modern house in Trousdale, an area where the blocks are tiered and houses are restricted to one-story, so everyone has a view. The house had 4 bedrooms and 4½ baths, a sunken living room, and was rumored to have been designed for Howard Hughes, who supposedly partied there, and also let his girlfriends live there. Josh said he felt Howard’s personality reflected there, and could feel the swanky mid-century vibes flowing through it. It was another one of those houses that didn’t look like much on the outside, but had all kinds of things going on indoors. Built in 1960, the owners had maintained the original look, but spent money behind the walls on things like electric and plumbing, as well as new appliances. Owner Scott showed Josh his music studio, and gave a lengthy explanation of the kind of music he wrote, telling Josh the earth was increasing in frequency. Josh and I both had the same reaction to that – huh? He played Josh some of his stuff, which I call music to fall asleep to, and chihuahua Chloe brought Josh a toy, but wouldn’t hand it over. I thought the house was really cool, but I love 60s and 70s interior design. It also had a rooftop deck, which Scott said was the only one in Trousdale. Josh thought they’d be lucky to break even, since what had once been $3000 a square foot was now $2300.

JoshF got a cold call from a woman named Heather, who was looking for a house that was kid-friendly. She wanted an area not populated by coyotes, since she wasn’t a diligent dog owner, and was afraid her dogs would get munched and her kids would end up in therapy. Josh said his job was to find his client the perfect house, even if they didn’t know what they wanted. He said when you didn’t know a client, it was like going on a first date.

David and James wanted to get in the Pasadena market, and were given the listing for the house that Tracy had trash talked about them to the owner. James David said they’d have to sell it, and show Tracy up, and David James said, exactamundo, which made my skin crawl. Unless you’re in a Quentin Tarantino movie or Bart Simpson, please, stay away from that word. It was another mid-century from the 1950s, which they thought looked like the Brady Bunch house, but I begged to differ, actually wondering if they’d ever seen the show. I don’t think the Brady Bunch dad could have afforded that house. They decided they needed to convey the potential of the house, without the buyer thinking it would be a humongous project.

James and David had a private showing with brokers and agents to get feedback. There were also a few potential buyers, and it was interesting to watch how the two of them played up the older features with people who loved the era, but pointed out the potential to those who didn’t. Just about everyone commented on the carpeting in the bathrooms (yeah, no), and one guy just kept saying, terrible about everything he saw. I thought he’d had too much work done, and his face was terrible.

Scott suggested to JoshA that he and his band play at the buyer’s open. Josh loved the live music idea, but was concerned Scott’s music might be too mellow. After the open house, where Scott played on the rooftop patio, Josh admitted it had been a great help even though he’d been skeptical. He even took the mic, and made up some clever lyrics about the property. He hoped the good vibe would entice someone to make an offer. He’d channeled his inner Steve Perry – who he clarified was from Journey, for the young ones.

David James got an architect to do renderings, so buyers could see potential of the house. James David said he’d probably spent his commission already. Since Tracy had said they wouldn’t put in the effort for a house priced so low, they wished she had been there. An offer was made, but in the meantime a counter offer came in. David James David encouraged the first broker to get his client to come up. The broker thought his client would feel it was too much risk, but they ended up making a deal. James told David to call Tracy, but not rub it in her face too much. He left a voicemail asking if she’d like to join them for lunch, which they’d pay for out of their commission. I’ll bet she felt like a big a-hole when she heard that.

Next time, JoshF’s client finds something she likes; Tracy is a wreck; Heather tells Josh that when she saw Frederik, he came for her; and JoshA and Frederik argue.

💎 This week’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills will feature commentary of a classic episode (classic being their word, not mine) by Erika Jayne and Reza Farahan, Maybe Reza will tell us where the Shahs reunion went. Wednesday, July 1st, at 9 pm. There will be a new episode next week on July 8th.

😥 Another Legend Gone…

He was one of the greats. It would be hard to pick a favorite project, but I do love The Jerk.


🎉 Her Job Is Done…

A celebrity who is actually doing it right.


🚗 Don’t Make Me Turn This Car Around…

A holiday weekend is coming up (I think…), and while some doors have opened, others got slammed shut again. Will we ever get back to normal, new or otherwise? Who knows, but stressing about it won’t make it better. Stay safe, stay constructive, and stay leaving fireworks to the professionals.

June 29, 2020 – When Sonny Shot His Son, Randoms On the Yacht, Loving Reunited, Awards Times Two, Brock Steps Up, Not On Broadway & Good


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

The tribe has spoken. Today’s GH Flashback is from January 29th, 2010. This week, we’ll be seeing The Best of Sonny’s Children.

It was the day of baby Josslyn’s christening, and Lady Jane came for the occasion. Michael (one I’ve never seen) was concerned that even though he’d been christened, he wasn’t going to heaven, but Carly assured him that he’d been protecting baby Josslyn when he’d hit Claudia, killing her. Lulu was chosen as godmother, and begged Lucky (the Jonathan Jackson version) to come, because she had a bad feeling. Dante told fellow detective Ronnie that he wasn’t going after Sonny until after the ceremony. Ronnie didn’t think it was a good idea, but Dante said it was non-negotiable. Ronnie told Dante, the minute they were out of the service, the cops would be moving in, unless Dante warned Sonny. Jason told Sonny that everything was in place, and Sonny said Dominic (which he thought was Dante’s name) was smug, and had infiltrated Sonny’s organization, working his way to a position of trust, but it wasn’t a problem, since Dominic was as good as dead. That’s when Olivia walked in.

Lucky told Lulu, large gatherings in Port Charles rarely ended well, and the christening had the potential for disaster of astronomical proportions. Lulu wondered what he wasn’t telling her, but begged him to come and be her back-up. Dante told Ronnie that he wasn’t going to blow the arrest, but Ronnie thought Dante was stalling until a mole could warn Sonny. Dante didn’t blame Ronnie for doubting him, but said he’d changed over the course of the investigation, and was driven to bring Sonny down. He was motivated to make Sonny pay for Lieutenant Poletti, but was concerned about Sonny’s kids getting hurt. He told Ronnie that they were good kids, and Carly was a good person, and Ronnie accused him of only being concerned about the people on the periphery.

Olivia hadn’t heard Sonny and Jason’s conversation, and said she was there to remind Sonny that no one deserved being shot in the house of God. She said Jax had stepped up and made Jason godfather (irony!), and Jason said there wouldn’t be any problems. Lady Jane brought a maple tree to plant for Josslyn, hoping that one day she’d have a swing hanging from it. She said Jax seemed sad, and Jax said he was concerned that everything would come crashing down. She asked what he’d done now, reminding him that he’d promised not to keep secrets from Carly. Jax said Carly was the one taking action in having Sonny removed from their lives. Lady Jane asked for specifics, and Jax said she had helped in infiltrating Sonny’s organization, and Jax had used his connections when the investigation hit a snag. A warrant had been issued for Sonny’s arrest. Lady Jane hoped that Sonny wasn’t going to be arrested during the service, and said Carly might never forgive him. He said he was aware of that, but wanted to be honest. Lady Jane feared his animosity had blinded him, but he said his eyes had been opened.

Sonny told Olivia that her boyfriend was in the middle of the organization, but she told Sonny that she was safer with Johnny than with him. He wondered how safe Johnny was, and Olivia asked if that was threat, but Sonny said it wasn’t. Carly joined them, and asked if Olivia was there for the same reason she was; to ask Sonny to play nice. Olivia thought Carly might be the push he needed, and left. Carly told Sonny that she was glad he was coming to the christening, and she was proud they were still friends. She wanted to use the christening to bring Josslyn’s family together, both extended family and blood relatives. She wanted Josslyn to be surrounded by love, and told Sonny not to do anything to screw it up. Sonny said he’d hit a turning point, and this was the day he was going to dump the garbage by the side of the road. Dante told Lulu that if she was having second thoughts, it was okay, but she said she just wanted the day to be over. Elizabeth went to Luke, saying she owed him an apology. She’d promised not to see Nikolas anymore, and it was a lie. Luke accepted her apology, and she was surprised, but he said there was no percentage in raking her over the coals; she’d done a good enough job herself. She wasn’t his favorite person, and had dealt a lethal blow to his son (i.e. Lucky), but people made mistakes sometimes. You could get drawn in to a circumstance without thinking of the consequences; it was human. He told her, a mistake didn’t negate the good she’d done for Lucky and the love she’d given him. Lulu walked in, and asked what he was doing talking to trash.

Lucky went to the chapel, and said it took a tragedy for him to talk to God, but assumed God knew his heart better than he did. He knew he was supposed to accept things he couldn’t change, but wondered how justice fit in to that, and what he’d done to deserve this. He said it was hard to believe in God’s love, and wondered if there was a plan he wasn’t seeing or a lesson he was supposed to learn. He asked to be able to see more than just black. Jason walked in, and told Lucky that it was important to Carly that he be there. Lucky assumed Jason knew he and Elizabeth had split up and why. Jason said he was sorry, and Lucky said he wished he could assure Jason that Jake would be okay, but he had no idea what was going to happen next. Jax told a tiny Josslyn that he didn’t take keeping her safe lightly, and did what was necessary. He knew he wasn’t going to be popular, and hoped Josslyn’s mother understood. Carly joined him, and said Josslyn was a miracle, thanked him for making all her dreams come true, and said she loved him. Dante went to see Olivia, who said she remembered his christening. He told her that she’d kept her promise to protect him, and he loved her. Sonny called Dante, saying he needed to talk to him, and Olivia told Dante that Sonny had seemed tense; there was something in his eyes like he was sitting on something he wasn’t going to share with her.

Jason thought Lucky would do what was best for Jake, and Lucky said it was bad, and going to get uglier before it got better. It wasn’t fair to Jake for Lucky to dishonor his promise. Elizabeth thanked Luke for his compassion, saying it was more than she deserved. Lulu said she got that right, and Elizabeth left. Luke told Lulu that Elizabeth hadn’t been a solo act, and wondered where her righteous indignation was against Nikolas. Lulu said she was mad at him too, but it was still Elizabeth’s fault. Luke told her it didn’t do any good. It was a bad situation, but it was for Lucky and Elizabeth to figure out. For them to throw in their hostility and judgment wasn’t going to help. He said, judgment is like a boomerang, and sooner or later, it comes back and smacks you in the face. Sonny met with Dante, who wondered why there were no guards. Sonny said Jason was paranoid, and he wanted Dominic/Dante to take an assignment. A shipment was coming in, and he needed Dante to make sure he didn’t get ripped off. The shipment would be in by nightfall. Dante said, by nightfall he (Dante) would be dead. He suggested Sonny was sending him on a bogus security detail on a remote road, but Sonny said he would never do that – unless he’d found out Dominic/Dante had betrayed him. At the church, Olivia wondered where Sonny and Dante were. Dante told Sonny that he was getting whiplash; one minute Sonny wanted him to inherit everything, and the next, Sonny thought Dante had betrayed him somehow. Sonny asked how Dominic/Dante was betraying him exactly, and Dante said he’d wanted to give everyone one last good day, but Sonny had taken it too far and made a dangerous miscalculation. Sonny said that could be rectified, and Dante said he was arresting Sonny for the murder of Claudia Zaccara Corinthos.

Jax didn’t want to hold things up any longer, and the christening commenced. As the priest began the ceremony, Dante read Sonny his rights, but Sonny said they weren’t going to make it to a court of law, and drew a gun. Dante said Sonny would be adding cop killer to his list of crimes. When Dante’s body was found, Sonny would be as dead as him. Sonny said nobody was going to find Dante. He’d trusted and liked Dominic/Dante, and in some ways still did. He was smart and had guts. He’d gained acceptance from Sonny’s family, and Sonny had seriously considered making Dominic/Dante his successor. Dante said he appreciated the irony, and Sonny said it was too bad all of Dante’s effort was wasted. He asked if Dante had any last words, and Dante wanted Sonny to remember what this was about. Sonny had gunned down Lieutenant Poletti from the old neighborhood like he was a worthless bad guy, but they didn’t make them any better. Any kids in the neighborhood who were lacking, Poletti tried make up for it, and he was one of those kids. Poletti taught him to grow up to be a good man, even though he had no role model. Sonny had Poletti killed, while Sonny went on with his worthless pathetic life. Sonny was chauffeured around wearing fancy suits, while a man Dante had respected paid for it. He didn’t respect Sonny; he despised him. While Josslyn was being baptized, Sonny told Dante that he didn’t remember Poletti, but if he’d killed Poletti, he deserved it. Dante told Sonny to pray that his kids never saw him the way Dante was seeing him now; a cold-eyed bastard who would kill anyone to get whatever the hell he wanted. Sonny said, goodbye, detective, and shot Dante, as the priest told everyone, go in peace; the Lord be with you. He added, there was no more of a sacred bond than that of a parent and child. Olivia arrived at Sonny’s, and ran to Dante. She told Sonny that he’d just shot his own son, and Sonny looked pretty surprised.

Below Deck Mediterranean

At 8 pm, they aired one of those repeat episodes with never before seen scenes. Don’t let those fool you. You need a microscope to find what you haven’t seen before.

Three hours until charter. It starts to storm. Bugs comes up the boardwalk, and Malia runs to meet her. Bugs says she’s bringing the thunder. In her interview, she says she’s been working on a busy private charter yacht as chief stew. Malia introduces her to Rob and Alex. In Malia’s interview, she says they need someone to get the job done, and keep a smile on their face, and that’s Bugs. She loves everything about Bugs. Hannah tells Kiko, the pressure is on them. Malia says she has a package for Captain Sandy, and brings Bugs to the bridge. The captain says they need Bugs’s expertise and support. In Bugs’s interview, she says it’s not something she saw herself doing, and Captain Sandy is the only person she’d do this for. She tells the captain that she brought the storm. The captain thinks it was a shock to Hannah, but that Bugsy will pleasantly surprised.

Bugs gives Hannah a hug, and Hannah says, it’s mayhem. Bugs says she’s coming to help, and introduces herself to the rest of the crew. In Hannah’s interview, she says she’s feeling apprehensive about Bugs. The last time they worked together, Bugs basically went out of her way to throw Hannah under the bus. We flash back to that, and Hannah says she doesn’t trust Bugs, and they won’t be friends, but they will work together. Hannah tells Bugs that she’s excited to see her back. They need a strong second. In her interview, Bugs says she’s going in with an open mind. She loves yachting and loves her job, and hopes she and Hannah can work it out this time, and balance out each other’s strengths. Malia gives the deckhands some instructions, and Pete says his stomach is killing him. Hannah takes Bugs around the boat.

At the preference sheet meeting, the captain says primary Justin is a financial consultant, and he’s bringing his best friends. They have a history of partying in Vegas, and are excited to bring the party to Majorca. Because the owner doesn’t allow dogs on the boat (for shame!), they need to find a dog sitter, and Justin may want to go on shore to visit. Weather permitting, they want a beach panic, and to do water sports. They’ve requested a five or six course tasting menu dinner. It’s pouring, and Pete says, this was not forecasted. Malia tells Alex, it’s hard deck crew to figure out. Rob is awesome, but Pete hates her. Bugs introduces herself to Pete, and says she’s Pete… No, wait. He’s Pete. The provisions come in, and Bugs tells Malia that Pete started following her on Instagram. She says Pete claims he’s a captain, and Malia says, of a tender. Welcome to her life. In her interview, Jessica is afraid Bugs is going to change the dynamic, but she thinks Hannah doesn’t like her, so it might be good. Rob thinks Bugs is cute, and Hannah is glad Bugs is on décor, since she hates doing it. In Bugs’s interview, she says her team entered tablescape competitions, and came in first. We see pictures of that, and Bugs says she gets it from her mom. She grew up around décor, because her mom owns a B&B. It’s all about thinking outside the box. She makes magic with some shells, and the table looks gorgeous. Rob and Jess sneak a kiss. Hanna tells Jess that Bugs is on service this charter.

The guests arrive with the cutest Husky puppy ever. The captain tells them, unfortunately, the weather is going to keep them on the dock, but the crew will show them an amazing time inside. Hannah does the tour, and then makes a call arranging for a dog nanny, explaining Justin will want to visit. In his interview, Kiko says he has a tattoo of a Husky. The nanny shows up, and Justin says goodbye to pup Scout. In Hannah’s interview, she says being stuck at the dock makes her job harder. The spotlight is on her and the interior. She tells Alex, the rain really screws things up. Bugs brings the guests a cheese plate, along with various other snacks. Justin asks Hannah if she can get them a table at Tito’s tonight, and Hannah calls for a VIP table. The guests do Belvedere shots, and guest Leon asks for oysters. Hannah says they couldn’t get fresh ones for today, but Kiko has caviar. Malia asks the deckhands if they have any cards for poker. Rob says there’s a whole poker set-up, and Malia asks if Alex knows how to play. In Alex’s interview, he says he played poker every night in college, and paid his tuition from the winnings. The gaming table is set up, and in his interview, Alex says he thinks Bugs is attractive. He’s an eyes and teeth person. If you have good teeth and bright eyes, he’s already in love. Lunch is served. Kiko tastes his own food, and gives himself props. Their surf and turf makes me sad about the quinoa and leftover vegetables dinner I had, so I eat a multi-grain cracker.

Pete text flirts with Lara. In Rob’s interview, he says he’s in an open relationship and getting to know Jess. The guests say lunch was great, and they’re ready for poker. Justin looks in on his pup through a webcam, and Captain Sandy high-fives Kiko. Malia plays bartender for the poker game. The captain tells Kiko not to avoid talking to the guests, and in his interview, he says English isn’t his first language, and he gets nervous. Just let him cook. Leon says he wants oysters, and Hannah explains they’re coming in fresh tomorrow. She suggests if they want something right away, to put it on the preference sheet. Leon says he did put it on the sheet. In Hannah’s interview, she says she’s used to demanding guests, but there’s a difference between being demanding and being an outright a-hole. Leon says he guesses they didn’t read it correctly, but he knows it’s a lot for them. This dude seems like a reject from Welcome Back, Kotter. Hannah goes to the galley, and looks at the sheet. She takes it to show it to Leon, saying the only time oysters are listed is for dinner. Leon says, whatever; I was wrong. When Hannah is out of his earshot, she calls him an effing d-bag. Captain Sandy asks when Kiko is going to talk to Justin, and Kiko says he’s on his way. He meets Justin in the dining room, and says he wants to make sure they’re happy. Justin says he’s easy-going (apparently Leon, not so much), and Kiko goes over the menus. Justin says Kiko is already off to a good start. The guests get in the hot tub, while Bugs looks for tablescape stuff. Malia tells Rob that she appreciates him helping out. He asks if there’s anything she needs specifically, and she says he’s been helpful and respectful. He’s doing a good job, and holding the standard. She appreciates it.

Jess says Bugs’s table is amazing. Leon whines, these MF’ers start late. In Hannah’s interview, she says she’s concerned about Kiko’s timing, especially when the guests are already a pain in her backside. Lightening flashes, and it begins to pour. Justin asks if the others want to go to Vegas next week, but one of the women says she has a birthday party in Japan. Well, excuse me. Justin says, Kiko is killing it. The guests head for shore, and Hannah reminds them to call when they’re coming back. When they’re gone, Hannah radios the crew that the guests have departed. Malia says, copy that, and I laugh at the way she says it, since it sounds more like, thank God. Jessica and Rob hug. In her interview, Jess says, what’s not to like? He has intellect, abs, and a pretty face. She’s in trouble. Bugs wonders if Pete is the crew mess creep. Malia tells Pete, tomorrow is going to be a long effing day, and to make sure he’s on deck at seven. The guests party at Tito’s, while the boat is cleaned up. They leave the club around 3 am, and Leon calls, telling Hannah, they’re effed up. Alex says, oh my God. This is what we’re doing tonight?

The guests come back, bringing some people they met with them, one of them saying, they’re not in Sag Harbor anymore. In Hannah’s interview, she says they’ve brought randoms back to the boat. Some of them get in the hot tub, and there’s lots of drinking, mostly shots and rosé. At 4 am, they’re still going strong, and a giant magnum of Perrier Jouet is brought out. Hannah just wants to go to bed. Alex opens a load of Coronas. Justin finally suggests they call it a night, and Hannah calls for a taxi for the guests’ guests, who leave somewhere around 5 am. As she cleans up with Alex, Hannah says she effing hates her job. She doesn’t get to bed until after 6:30.

Port Adriano. Kiko says his body hurts, and Captain Sandy wants off the dock. She shows Malia that the wind is below 10 knots. In her interview, the captain says, at 15 knots, it’s impossible to get off the dock. They need to take the window when there’s a chance. In terrific timing, one of the guests gets off the boat to walk around. Malia radios that she sees one guest on the dock. Captain Sandy asks if Malia’s eyes are on her, but Malia says, she’s past the entrance. The wind picks up. In Jessica’s interview, she says, oopsy. The captain says, it’s back at 15 knots, and now the guest is back. Captain Sandy realizes Pete has released the wrong groundline, so they can’t just take off. She asks who told him to do that? and he says, Malia did. Malia hears, and says, negative. She told him to release the secondary groundline. The one he released should be the last one to go. He says he’ll put back her really important groundline, and Malia says, of course it’s not his fault. The captain sees the wind is at 20 knots, and says they can’t leave. She radios a crew that it’s a no go. Malia tells Pete that his sarcasm didn’t escape her when he said he dropped her really important groundline. He claims he didn’t say that, but she says everyone on the stern deck heard him. In her interview, Malia says, it not only looks bad for Pete, but it looks bad for her. She’s done.

Pete says he wasn’t being sarcastic; he was communicating that he was putting an important line back on. In Pete’s interview, he says working with Malia is a constant ego check. He goes over what he’s done, but he’s doing the right thing. He tells Alex that Malia is wrong, but you can’t tell her anything. In Malia’s interview, she says, when you’re stuck on the dock, it’s all smoke and mirrors. You need to distract the guests. Captain Sandy says she wants all the toys out, and Malia suggests they bring the guests to a nearby beach cove, along with some tables and chairs. The captain tells Kiko to make food for a beach picnic, and in his interview, he says, good. Then he can concentrate on the six-course dinner; it’s a lot of work. Rob asks Pete about covering the cushions. Pete says he doesn’t know, and he’s not asking. He doesn’t want to get his head bit off. Justin says, poor Hannah, and tells Bugs that they’re bringing the three girls and the guy who were there last night to the beach picnic. Bugs radios that there are going to be extra people, and Captain Sandy tells Kiko, team work makes the dream work. She loves sayings like that. Justin says he misses his son, meaning his dog. Malia tells Hannah that she has to get the dog back to the boat, so they can bring him along. The food is packed, and in her interview, Hannah says, it’s nice to have a good second stew, and she has to admit, she needs Bugs. Malia goes over to the beach with Pete and Rob in the tender, and shows them the cove. Rob and Malia begin to set up, and Malia says she’s done with Pete’s ego. He has the balls to talk smack about her when she’s not standing there, but not to her face. He knows what he’s doing, and just being an a-hole. She doesn’t give a f*** about his ego anymore. The giant umbrella she’s been opening suddenly gets taken by the wind, and takes her along with it. It crashes against a rock wall, which bends the spokes.

Hannah says they’ll do two tender runs with the guests. Malia sets the table, and Rob tells her that he likes Jess. She says, awesome, and they set up a canopy. The new people get to the boat, along with Scout who’s wearing a life vest, and everyone heads to the beach. One of the guests decides to do some golfing, and Hannah explains they can’t, since people are swimming there. In Hannah’s interview, she says she hates when randoms find their way back again. The food comes, and Justin gives Scout a lick of champagne, but of course you’re too smart to give your dog alcohol, right? The beach rep calls Sandy, and tells her that there can be no tarps or glass on the beach, and she relays the message to Hannah, saying, everything has to come down. Hannah tells the guests that they have to take the tent down and remove all the glass, including the bottles containing their alcohol. In her interview, she says she has legit 30 bottles there, and the tent is the only shade. She’s up sh*t creek with no paddle. They fill some plastic bottles with alcohol, but Justin doesn’t want to stay with no tent. Hannah suggests the guests have a swim while they pack up, and sets up a small pup tent. She tells Rob, it’s a clusterf***, and she wants to cry. Malia takes a picture of Scout and Justin on a water toy. In her interview, Hannah says, Kiko is screwed. She radios Kiko that the guests have invited other guests to dinner, and she thinks there are going to be twelve altogether. He says, six times twelve is seventy-two. In Kiko’s interview, he says, how is he going to do that? It’s crazy. He’s screwed again. He starts getting ready to make dinner.

Next time, Bugs gets in the hot tub, the hardest day of Kiko’s life, Hannah questions Rob about his open relationship, and Jessica breaks a finger.

🎁 A Wrap After the Wrap…

If Loving You Is Wrong will be having a reunion on June 30th (that’s TODAY) at 8 pm. But will Oh So Right tie up any loose ends?



🏆 And the Award Goes To…

Winners of the BET Awards.


And a review of the show.


🥇 And More Awards Go To…

Winners of the Daytime Emmy Awards. Again I ask, where is Max Gail?


💏 Supporting Scheana…

It looks like she might have picked a winner this time.


🎭 There Are No Small Parts…

And right now, there are no parts at all until next year.


⏳ Is It Friday Yet…?

Technically, it’s a long weekend coming up, but for some of us, it’s been a long weekend since March. Hopefully, you’re able to branch out by now, but don’t be a Karen out there. Stay safe, stay considerate of others, and stay hopeful that by the time this is over, we’ll have a better world.

June 27, 2020 – A Rewedding For JaSam, Here’s Johnny, Double the Franco, Soap Starts, Sad News, Brittany’s Mom, TV Wedding, Gus Hosts, Looking Back, Musical Stream, Six Hardy Quotes & Educated


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Survey says, today’s GH Flashback is from September 22nd, 2011.

Dante (who practically looked like an infant) proposed to old Lulu. At first, I didn’t realize it was Lulu, and for a moment, wondered who else Dante proposed to. James Franco playing Franco (which is endlessly amusing to me) spied on Maxie and Spinelli in the park, as they planned Sam and Jason’s wedding. Maxie said everything could be fixed with a few clicks on the Jackal’s computer board. Jason showed up at Sam’s while she was trying on her dress, and said he’d broken the rule by seeing her in it. She said there were so many rules, she didn’t think she could go through with it. At the hospital, Robin told Patrick they had a mandatory engagement tomorrow – Sam and Jason’s wedding – but Patrick said they weren’t going.

Sam said it wasn’t that she didn’t want to marry Jason, but he’d just gotten out of the hospital. She wanted to dance right then and there with him, even though he hated dancing, but there was a knock at the door. Dante told Lulu that he was a work in progress (ugh), but he was still a good investment, and he wanted them to invest in each other and share a future. Being with her made him feel like being a better man. Lulu said he’d gone from it being over to shut up and marry me without a break, and she needed to breathe and think. Johnny (Zacchara) asked his father Anthony (Bruce Weitz) what he had on Tracy, but Anthony said, a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell. After Anthony left, Johnny got on the phone with henchman Cole, and said he had a job for him.

Robin told Patrick that they’d gotten married partly because of Jason, and she was still Jason’s friend. Patrick didn’t want her risking her life being around Sonny, but she said she’d go alone. A courier picked up Sam’s dress because Maxie didn’t trust her with it, and Sam told Jason, the wedding was out of control. Jason suggested she just say no to Maxie, but Sam didn’t want to hurt Maxie’s feelings. She told him, besides Maxie, everyone had their own ideas for the wedding, including Spinelli, her mom, and her sisters. She didn’t even know what kind of flowers or reception they were going to have, but guaranteed it would be over-the-top. She said she didn’t need flowers, a ceremony, or the complications that came with it. Jason told her to forget what everybody else wanted, and focus on what they wanted. All that mattered was that they loved each other. Sam said she had a rock Molly had given her to keep her grounded, and a love nut; what else did she need? Jason took her hand, and said, come on.

Jason and Sam got on his bike, and ended up at a closed Chinese restaurant. The owner Mr. Li and his grandson Robert let them in anyway, and they confessed they were running from their wedding. Lulu went to see a too skinny Maxie at Crimson for advice, while Dante went to see Lucky (the Jonathan Jackson version). He told Lucky about proposing to Lulu, and how she was hesitant. Lucky asked if Dante was sure he wanted be part of this family. Sam explained to Robert that her head was spinning; she didn’t even know if she wanted roses or lilies. Robert’s grandmother Mrs. Yi (who only spoke Chinese, so Robert had to translate) said lilies should be her flower, since they represented unity in spirit and 100 years of love.  She and her husband were halfway there, having been married 50 years. Sam said their problem wasn’t commitment, but the ceremony, and Jason said if it was up to him, he’d marry Sam right there. Robert said they could do that, since he was ordained. Jason pulled out the marriage license that he just happened to have with him. Mrs. Yi said fate had brought them there, and Sam agreed.

Dante pumped Lucky for insight into Lulu, but Lucky said the Spencers were an unpredictable bunch. He told Dante not to play it safe and run from his feelings. They should love the people they were given in life while they had the chance. Anthony went to the hospital where Lisa was in a coma. (Lisa had injected herself with drain cleaner during a struggle with Patrick in June 2011.) Anthony told the doctor that he had power of attorney, and gave the hospital a lot of money. He hoped his generosity counted for something. He gave the doctor a check, and even though the doctor said the protocol was still in the early stages, and thought Anthony should get a second opinion, Anthony said he trusted the doctor, and to shoot her up. Patrick told Robin that she should respect his feelings toward Sonny, the same way he respected hers for Jason. Robin suggested they go to the wedding and get a hotel room for the night, making it a second honeymoon. Patrick said she was playing dirty, but agreed, and told her that they couldn’t let anyone come between them. Johnny got together with Cole, and told Cole to offload a boat containing drugs at the harbor. He was going to put them in Sonny’s coffee warehouse, and then give an anonymous tip to the cops. Cole worried that Sonny would figure out it was Johnny, but Johnny said there would be no proof; just make sure the drugs were unloaded. When Sonny was toasting the happy couple, Johnny would be taking him down.

At the restaurant, Robert took Sam and Jason to the back terrace, where it was romantic and lit by Chinese lanterns. Mrs. Li said something to Sam, and Robert said, loosely translated, it was that Sam’s shoes rocked. (Maxie had meant to send Sam a pair of blue shoes, but a pair of leopard boots had come instead, which Sam insisted on wearing.) Robert said Jason stood under the symbol of the dragon, and Sam stood under the symbol of the phoenix, and the union of the dragon and phoenix symbolized the union of the bride and groom. The dragon stood for strength; he scared away evil spirits, protected the innocent, and blessed the house with safety. The phoenix was the goddess of winged creatures, and brought luck, success, and prosperity, turning bad luck to good. Together, they were the ultimate sides of yin and yang, male and female, strength and beauty. Alone, they brought happiness, but together brought double happiness. Jason had his grandmother’s ring that she had worn for over 50 years. His grandfather had given it to him to give to Sam. Sam had a ring that had belonged to Jason’s father, who wanted him to have it. His parents had a love that lasted a lifetime, and so would theirs. They exchanged rings, and said their vows. Mrs. Li gave them glasses of red wine, and they drank it, doing that twisty thing with their arms. Robert said red was the color of happiness, and tonight, they were joined in happiness. Drinking the wine and honey would make life sweet and rich. From that moment forward, they were one world; earth, water, air, and fire together for all eternity. He pronounced them husband and wife. I’m not big with the romance stuff, but this was actually kind of cool.

Spinelli managed to find some wedding music for Maxie. Dante told Lucky that the moment he met Lulu, he was hooked; there was no one else like her. Lucky suggested he be patient, and let her get used to the idea. Johnny told Cole that his father knew nothing about what was going on, and while Sonny was distracted, it was perfect time to make a move. Unbeknownst to Johnny, Anthony was listening in. Sam gave Mrs. Li her leopard boots, which Mrs. Li said were too cool to refuse, and wondered what they were going to tell Maxie.

Johnny said everything was going down tomorrow night. Jason told Sam they would tell Maxie tomorrow night, and they kissed. Franco set up some Tinker Toys on the statues at the church, and said, see you tomorrow. Okay, they were really cameras, but they looked like Tinker Toys.

💣 Johnny Got His Gun…

I barely remember him, so here’s a refresh.


🎨 He Was a Busy Guy…

All about Franco, going back to when he was James Franco.


🧼 Someday My Soaps Will Come…

According to Soap Opera Digest, Young & Restless will resume taping on July 6th, and Bold & Beautiful has already begun production. No word on GH yet.


😥 She Can’t Catch a Break…

Poor Scheana. 2020 hasn’t treated a lot of people well.


🏥 I Just Know It’s Jax’s Fault…

Because he’s the worst human being on earth, and all of the world’s ills lead to him.


💒 Andy Officiates…

Because we’re starved for entertainment.


📺 Better Call Gus…

Along with some fun TV programming, AMC is releasing a new digital docuseries.



🧛‍♂️ He’s Ba-a-ack…

You can’t keep a good vampire down.


🎧 Early Aughts Interviews…

A trip down Memory Lane with entertainers from the early 00’s.


🎸 Just Sayin’…

Isn’t it funny how The Dixie Chicks are suddenly switching their name to The Chicks to disassociate themselves from racism, but it’s five seconds before they release their first album in a zillion years? Must just be a coincidence.

💖 I Heart Tyler…

But you knew that.


🎶 You Can’t Stop the Beat…

Some live streams coming up. The 13th Annual Roots Picnic Virtual Experience (today – June 27th) looks good.


🦜 Quotes of the Week

That’s the trouble with your whole MTV, microwave dinner generation. You want it all now. You think you deserve it just because you want it? It doesn’t work like that. You have to earn it, you have to take it, you have to make it yours. but before you do that, Guy, you need to decide what it is you really want. – Buddy (Kevin Spacey), Swimming with Sharks

Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living. – Alysha Speer

The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.Pema Chödrön

Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it. – Wilferd Peterson

Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing. Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out. You’re curious and smart and bored, and all you see is the choice between working hard and slacking off. There are so many adventures that you miss because you’re waiting to think of a plan. To find them, look for tiny interesting choices. And remember that you are always making up the future as you go!Randall Munroe

The four hardest tasks on earth are neither physical nor intellectual feats, but spiritual ones: To return love for hate; to include the excluded; to forgive without apology, and to be able to say, I was wrong.Author Unknown

📰 Searching and Researching…

Sometimes when you’re writing about something, it turns into something else. Like what happened with that journalist in A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. In working on a piece about what’s going on in the entertainment world, i.e. apologies and cancelations, I’ve learned a great deal. Not about myself – I have that one pretty much down – but about other perspectives. Woken long ago, my horizons are broadening. Coming soon, but for today, stay safe, stay engaged, and stay open to changing direction.

June 17, 2020 – Charges Announced, Would-Be Flashback, Reliving S7, New Listing, NYC Update, the Girls Now, Tyler Talks, a Director’s Influence, Bye-Bye Wacha, Posha Reborn & Fight


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Today’s GH Flashback would have been from September 14th, 2015 (see below), but was preempted early on to inform us about charges being brought against the officers in the killing of Rayshard Brooks.

What happened:


The charges:


📜  Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.Martin Luther King, Jr.


General Hospital

What happened on September 14th, 2015 was… Sonny and Carly were about to get married (again), when one of Sonny’s enemies kidnapped TJ, who at the time was working for Sonny, and lured Sonny into an ambush. Jake Doe saved the day, but Sonny ended up with a bullet lodged near his spine, and Patrick was waiting for him to improve before doing surgery. Everything pointed to Julian having set Sonny up, and even though he was in county, Morgan vowed to kill him.

Elizabeth came close to telling Jake Doe that he was really Jason, even though he eventually ended up being Drew. She was interrupted by son Jake having a bad dream, but did tell Jake/Jason/Drew that she’d done something terrible to Sam. Ric had conspired with Madeline to get Nina’s money, and tricked old Nina into marrying him. She and Franco tricked Ric back, threatening to expose him, and made him sign annulment papers, giving up the rights to Nina’s money. Nina also ditched Madeline, which probably wasn’t hard, since she was in prison.

Sonny was unconscious, hooked up to machines, and a pre-PTSD Dante paid him a visit. Dante wondered if Sonny’s lifestyle was worth it, and suggested he try living and being a dad. The machines went kooky, and Dante ran out, interrupting an argument between Morgan and Michael in the hallway. Michael ran to get Carly, who was in the chapel, reminiscing about her life with Sonny, and reading Sonny’s wedding vows.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Seeing that tonight’s episode was going to be Dorit and Garcelle commentating on the Season 7 finale (Season 7 was also Dorit’s first season), I was immediately disappointed, but willing to give them another chance. We revisited Lisa’s Diamonds and Rosé party, where Dorit wore liquid gold on her head. Or as LisaR said, it looked like a big golden goose took a big golden sh*t on her head. Erika showed up with pink hair, and Garcelle wondered (as did LVP in the episode) if the carpet matched the drapes. PK showed up with Jagger in Dorit’s square, although why anyone would allow a child to watch this show is beyond me. Garcelle said, swans, ponies, no underwear, and champagne; that’s a perfect party. I wasn’t sure if she should get out more, or just reassess the parties she’s going to. I’d forgotten Eden Sassoon was on Season 7, so I refreshed my memory with this:


As Eden, got more wound up during the party, I was like, oh yeah… Kim Richards was also still on the fringes of the show, and seemed to be okay with everyone except LisaR.

Garcelle noted that PK loves being in the mix, and yes he does. He should be granted honorary Wife status, along with Peter from RHOA. There was some bad blood between Dorit and LisaR because of Dorit inferring to Eden that LisaR had a substance problem. Dorit and Eden had been discussing LisaR, when Dorit wondered if LisaR’s personality issues were induced. This led Eden to tell LisaR that Dorit had questioned whether she had a Xanax problem. LisaR got all in Dorit’s face, but my advice to her is, don’t make jokes about all the pills you carry around with you. There. Problem solved. PK told Erika that she was inherently cold, to which she coldly told him, she was not. Eileen Davidson was still on the show, and defended Erika. From her square, Dorit wondered why she subjected herself to this. Um… the publicity? Garcelle felt like she was on the playground, or middle school, which is what I say every week

This was before Puppygate, but the group was still feeling the aftereffects of Pantygate. In case you weren’t there for Pantygate, Erika went to a group dinner sans underwear, and PK caught a glimpse. Dorit said something to Erika, who couldn’t see what the big deal was. I might not either, unless it makes someone uncomfortable, which it obviously did. I’ve said it before. I’m no prude by any stretch of the imagination. I’m pretty broad-minded, but I still don’t say the f-word in front of my in-laws or in front of children. This is one of the things I don’t like about Erika. I’m all for expressing yourself and being who you are, but it’s common courtesy not to deliberately make people uncomfortable, and she just does not care. And if she finds out, she’ll do it on purpose. Talk about middle school. Okay, rant over. As a joke, sort of, Dorit had gotten Erika a pair of underwear. Erika was all kinds of offended for ages about this, which I found very hard to believe. From her square, Dorit said, in looking for a silver lining, she and LisaR had come a long way. Back at the party, LisaR told Eden that when she’d talked to LVP – I have no clue about what, and assume it’s the induced personality issue, but it really doesn’t matter – she shut herself off to Eden. Eden had it with LisaR, calling her a bitch, and saying she was sick of LisaR walking all over her and using her as a scapegoat. I barely remember the deal with those two, but I’ve grown to dislike LisaR with a passion, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true. It’s a shame too, because I’d always liked her, but by her second season, I could tell she’d say and do just about anything for attention and camera time. But she owns it.

After Eden’s outburst, LisaR said she didn’t give two f***s what people thought about her, and when she said she wished Eden well, Garcelle commented that those words are the death knell. Dorit said it felt like a lifetime ago, but it was just four years. Garcelle said it was more fun than she thought it would be, and I’m sure had 100% more fun than I did. While the Eden thing was interesting, it’s hard jumping into an old season without prefacing it with some backstory. On top of it, Dorit and Garcelle either aren’t being compelling enough, or it’s being edited badly, because the commentary is boring as hell. Bravo can do better than this.

🌴 Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles began its new season this week. Joshes Altman and Flagg are back, along with Tracy Tutor, James Harris, and David Parnes. While my preference is for the New York branch of the franchise, I still love seeing the West Coast houses, which are always massive. The premiere episode focused on mountainside properties, and while I’m not so sure I could live in a place where vertigo is king, they were breathtaking. The Joshes joined forces again to co-list, even though they vowed never again the last time. My favorite house was the one Tracy looked at, with the most amazing vertical landscaping, but the house the Joshes checked out was also fabulous. As Josh Altman put it, hidden doors, the fake books, and underground lairs; I’m trying not to geek out right now. There was a lot of cracking up (dare I say joshing around?) during their dual interviews, leading me to believe what I’ve thought before. Much of the feuding between the brokers is for the camera.

🗽 New York Tease…

Tomorrow, Bravo has scrapped The Real Housewives of New York altogether to run a marathon of Top Chef, capping it with their finale. So in the meantime, here’s a mid-season teaser.


🐇 Not Next Door Anymore…

I actually watched this show. I think I was more fascinated with the house and clothes than anything else. They made Hef look like a benevolent, hapless father with a harem from who he required little but their company. But then I read Holly Madison’s book, Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny. Um… ew.


💔 Tyler’s Heart…

The hardest working man in Hollywood preaches it.


🎥 Influencers…

I’m proud to say The Rocky Horror Picture Show made this list. Hey, it might be my only fifteen minutes.


🐶 Learning From Dorit’s Mistakes…

It looked like Andy talked to most of the world before deciding to rehome his dog. While he doesn’t give particulars, it sounds like it was the best decision. And I’m sure a hard one.


👊🏽 She’s Come a Long Way Baby…

From thinking the Underground Railroad was a real train to leading the call. My headband is off to Porsha. (I don’t wear hats.)


🏜 Before Sunrise…

In the past few months, we’ve certainly been given a lot to think about and the time to think it. We’re sliding into the world opening back up, and with it, hopefully, our hearts and minds. So stay safe, stay centered, and stay doing the right thing.

June 16, 2020 – Post Wedding Trauma, VanderEnd, a Final Finale, Goodbye Loving, Sandy Correct, Tyler Does Good & Farewell


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Since GH is apparently using a Flashback dartboard, today’s episode was from September 24th, 2013. Morgan and Kiki (who had switched over from being Starr) had just gotten married. Starr Kiki really loved Michael, but Morgan had lied, telling her that she and Michael were cousins, when Kiki’s father was really Silas, but she didn’t know it. Sonny, who was off his meds, spilled the beans at the reception, even though Morgan had begged him to keep the secret. Sonny claimed he was doing it for Connie, who’d wanted him to tell the truth, and who he hadn’t protected. He told everyone that Morgan had tricked Kiki into marriage, and they all went in different directions.

Morgan told Ava that his family was a bunch of hypocrites, especially his father, and his father was dead to him. Ava told him that family stays together, and not to write Sonny off, but Morgan said he’d never forgive Sonny, who had never once backed him. Sonny had, however, stepped up to double-cross him, costing him his wife, who was off with Michael doing who-knows-what. Ava said she knew what it was like to be refused by the person you love, and told Morgan about how the man she loved went off with someone else. Morgan said Ava got him, and had always been on his side, prompting them to get busy.

What Kiki and Michael were doing was talking at the MetroCourt bar. Michael wanted Kiki to give him a chance, and they kissed.

In the meantime, Maxie had been a surrogate for Lulu and Dante, who named the baby Connie, but it wasn’t really their baby; it was Maxie’s baby with Spinelli. Maxie whacked Spinelli over the head, thinking he was a prowler, when he was picking up his gym bag from the apartment. Ellie had told Spinelli the truth, but Maxie thought she’d been given a second chance to make things right, since she’d lost the first baby she’d carried for Dante and Lulu. She figured Spinelli and Ellie would have their own family, and told Spinelli choosing Lulu was the least bad of two terrible options. She said there was no turning back, and she’d be sorry for the rest of her life. Spinelli said he hated what Maxie had done, but didn’t hate her.

Carly had gotten Sonny the hell out of the reception, and told him that his behavior was the result of him not taking his pills. The last time he’d done that, he’d been dangerous to everyone around him, even the people who love him. Sonny said he’d thrown the pills away, because he wanted to feel the pain; he owed that to Connie. Carly asked if he thought Connie would want him to hurt and want him to hurt others. Luckily, the pills were safely balanced on the top of the wastebasket, where no garbage had actually touched them. Carly gave them to Sonny, telling him that his kids needed their dad.

Silas (who would later become Finn) was dating Sam, and brought dinner to her while she was at the hospital with Danny.

Carly told Sonny that taking the pills was the right thing to do. He said he missed Connie so much, but Carly said, then he shouldn’t hurt himself and his family in Connie’s name. This convinced him to take his lithium.

Michael told Kiki, they didn’t have to figure it out tonight, that tonight was for them, and Morgan and Ava got busier.

Vanderpump Rules – The Endless Reunion – Part Three (@home)

I never noticed before that in the opening group pic, it’s a still shot except for Lisa’s hair blowing. I knew she was magical.

We wait for Tom, who had to pee. Ariana asks why Tom didn’t go during the break, and announces that she pooped. Thanks for sharing.

Andy say,s Stassi’s push to be engaged almost sent Beau to an early grave. We flash back to all that, including Stassi catching Katie’s bouquet. Stassi says she’s embarrassed. (FYI, I’m totally refraining from any and all jokes, and working on something about the whole Bravo brouhaha.) Stassi does a mini PSA, saying, if you know you’re asking your SO to marry you, don’t torture them, just tell them. Andy says Beau went to great lengths to make Stassi think he wasn’t proposing, and we flash back to him avoiding the subject, and telling her not to rush him. Beau says the dinner where she thought he was going to propose was the worst night all year. Stassi says Beau put on a mic pad that looked like the shape of a ring box. It convinced her they were getting engaged, and she lost her sh*t. Schwartz asks, what’s sexier, a penis bulge or a ring bulge? Andy brings up Carter texting them not to forget that Kristen introduced them, and asks if Kristen agrees. She says she doesn’t, and if Carter had wanted to say that, he should have waited. Stassi says Kristen defended him in every interview, but Kristen says she doesn’t respect what did, and Lala tells her, leave it there.

Andy says, Lisa has dealt with unruly bartenders and defiant waitresses, but this season, she had to manage the managers. We flash back to Danica getting suspended for putting her hands on the other Brett. Andy asks what makes Max a good manager, and Lisa says he puts in a lot of hours, he’s a great bartender and can step in when he’s needed, and the staff loves him. He fits in perfectly. She wishes he wouldn’t bang her staff though. She thinks Danica needs to grow up and soften up. She sees things in black and white, and gets it wrong sometimes. Raquel says Danica is the best manager. She gets the job done. Lisa says Danica has been rude on many occasions, and she has a personal issue with her. That Danica claimed she was having an affair with Brett, pisses her off. In all the years she’s been in the business, she’s never put a finger on anyone. Danica asks when she said that, and we see a clip of the after-show where she says she can’t see a mother/son dynamic with Brett and Lisa. They’re both hot, so you know they fantasize about each other. Lisa says she has children and a husband. Kristen says Danica is lucky she has a job. She should be thankful, grateful, and bow down. Danica says she’s sorry; it came out the wrong way. Lisa thanks her, and says she’s been married 37 years, and has two children. She doesn’t need to hear stuff like that. Andy asks Max if banning someone for talking sh*t is the manager’s job, referring to him wanting to ban Danica from TomTom. Max says he thinks he handled it incorrectly, and he already apologized. Lisa says Danica felt backstabbed, since she thought they were friends. Danica says whenever she introduced Max to her friends, he’d screw them, and she has to work with him. Max says she’s the one who hooked them up. Kristen thinks there’s a problem because Danica wants to sleep with Max, but Danica says, no way. Andy leaves it there and takes a break.

Brittany’s dog barks, and she gets criticized, which is ridiculous. She says, since there’s a pandemic, she couldn’t get a sitter. I say, bring the dog into the discussion. He’ll give just as coherent a contribution as the cast. Andy asks James what he thought about Scheana and Brett’s video, and he says he thought it was racy. Andy asks if that’s why Brett felt uncomfortable and violated. Brett admits he was being dramatic in saying he felt violated, but he was uncomfortable. Scheana says he should have explained that to her at the time, instead of being a p*ssy. Saying she’d give him a BJ was a joke. Lisa says Scheana did like him when they first met, and thought there was a possibility. Scheana says they clicked right away, and we flash back to her telling Lisa that she admits there’s a crush, but she doesn’t want to date him, then gets all teary. Scheana says she’s flirty by nature. Andy says Charli was completely over him before the first date. What turned her off so quickly? Charli says there was a lot going on prior to the date, and she felt awkward about Scheana. We flash back to Brett saying he can’t have friends that are girls. Andy asks how Scheana and Brett are now, and Scheana says, they’d been fine up until the last few episodes aired. Then Brett said he was going to be so far up her ass apologizing at the reunion, but she’s still waiting. Brett says he felt bad about some things, and Kristen suggests he just apologize for being an a-hole. Brett says he’s sorry he misled Scheana, but he tried to make it clear that he didn’t want anything. Scheana says she didn’t want anything either, and Ariana says, how about apologizing for saying one thing to his friend’s face, and something else behind their back? Brett says he doesn’t think he did that.

Andy says Ariana was forthcoming about her battle with depression, and asks how she’s doing. Ariana says she’s been seeing a therapist for the last few months, and she’s been working hard on herself. She’d be lying if she said it was all positive all the time, but she thinks she’s doing okay. Andy says Lisa had shared with Ariana that she’d also felt that way, and Lisa says she was more prepared for her mother passing away, but her brother’s death was a shock. That it was a suicide made it worse, and that’s why she understood, and didn’t think it should be minimized. Ariana says she’s grateful to Lisa, and thanks her. Lisa says Ariana can call her, any time of the day or night.

Andy says, Brittany and Jax had a fairytale wedding, but once they got home, Jax had left all traces of his Prince Charming persona in Versailles (pronouncing it Ver-sales). We see clips of Jax taking out his sh*t on Brittany, and anyone else in his path. We flash back to Ariana’s interview, where she says, unfortunately, Brittany is married to the problem, and we flash back to Stassi telling Jax, it looks like he’s losing his mind. We see one of Lisa’s interviews, where she says, it’s not just Jax now; that’s the difference. Andy says Jax seems to spiral at the end of every summer. Jax says it’s his downfall, and he’s still working on himself. Ariana says she doesn’t want to spend 45 minutes on the same sh*t. Every reunion, Jax says he’s a work in progress. I hate when people like Jax use that phrase as an excuse for bad behavior. We flash back to Jax saying the same things at every reunion. Jax says he’ll be working on himself for the rest of his life. Tom says, like his tweeting lies. Everyone talks at once, so you can’t understand anyone, and there’s a lot of bleeping on top of it. Jax says he knows they’re perfect and awesome, and he applauds. Ariana says she’s a garbage person. That’s why she’s here. Lisa tells her, calm down, and Jax says it’s not about her.

Andy reminds us, if we lost track, it’s Tuesday. He moves on to the beach clean-up, and Jax’s rage texts. Jax says it was nothing against Max. He just didn’t want to drive for hours to pick up one piece of paper, when there are three parks near him that are full of trash. Which might be a valid argument if he’d been at those parks picking up said trash. Stassi is like, come on. He just didn’t want to do it, and Kristen says, so it had nothing to do with the environment. He didn’t want to go. Jax says he apologized five hours later, and we flash back to more rage texting hours later. Schwartz says, it was personal and pointed, and Jax says he’s good at apologizing. I’m not so sure that’s something to be bragging about. Andy doesn’t think Jax is that great at it, since you can apologize a million times and not mean it. Jax asks if Andy hasn’t ever done that, and Andy says, not really. He asks Brittany if it’s daunting to have to apologize for Jax all the time, and Jax says, no one is perfect. Andy recalls that Jax said that at every one of eight reunions. Ariana makes fun of Jax, which is unbecoming, even if Jax is a total d-bag. Jax says he thought he was doing better, and still has bad days. Stassi says he instills fear in his friends. They have to be scared of pissing him off, and of hurting Brittany’s feelings. They need to be able to be honest, and can’t be in a situation they’re scared to have an opinion of. Jax told them about how depressed he was, and that he couldn’t control himself, so now they want to talk about it. Jax says, it’s fine coming from certain people. Andy asks for Ariana’s reaction to Jax admitting he had a mental problem, and Brittany says, he obviously does. Ariana says her best advice is to find a therapist he connects with, and work through his sh*t. He can’t let it fall by the wayside. It has to be a priority. Andy says, Rand recommended a therapist, and Lala says, he didn’t just recommend one. He paid for a session, and Jax didn’t show up. Tom says, Jax doesn’t want to get better or change, and he doesn’t want to hear that Jax is a work in progress. I totally get this. I know people who cry about needing help, but won’t take it because they’d rather keep using their illness to be a manipulative a-hole. They’re the worst. Brittany says the group obviously doesn’t love them, and Lala says she’d die for them. Brittany won’t look at anyone, and Ariana says she’s fully convinced nothing she said came from an ill place. Brittany says she’s turning her head because she’s trying not to cry. Tom says, after the end of the season, day after day, Brittany always takes up for Jax. Brittany says, everyone does stuff, and Ariana says it’s happening every week. Katie asks Schwartz, what’s happening? and I’m wondering too. Brittany says of course she wants Jax to be better, and Jax says he’s working on it all the time, but it seems like they’re just yelling at him. Schwartz says, it’s a productive thing. Jax alluded to having issues several times, and they’re being corrective. They want him to be proactive, and not do the same thing every time and expect a different result. Ariana says they love Brittany so much, and Tom says he’s wracked his brain for years, trying to help. Ariana says, and Jax acts like they don’t give a f***, and they’re full of it. There’s lots of bleeping, and I wonder what the hell is with Schwartz’s hair, and if he meant for it to look like that. Schwartz tells Jax, please effing do something.

Andy asks where everyone is going, but they’re just stretching their legs. Jax says Andy is always against him, but everyone tells Jax that Andy is on his side. Jax says he feels like Andy goes at him the hardest. He has thick skin, but it’s being worn away as the years go by. Andy says he actually likes Jax a lot, and Jax says he has a weird way of showing it. Andy says it’s his job to call them out. Jax insists he’s the best he’s been, except for three episodes spread apart. We see clips of Jax that would embarrass a normal person. Andy says Jax doesn’t watch the show, and he should if he wants to respond to sh*t. Jax says if he slips up, it’s all they talk about, and Andy says, watch the show; that’s what he’s working off of. Jax says, it’s the worst reunion ever.

Andy says Scheana’s surprise birthday present of a psychic reading for Dayna didn’t go well, and Scheana had first said she didn’t bring the psychic. We flash back to Scheana having the psychic wait outside. He asks, what really happened? and Scheana says she was going to text the psychic after talking to Dayna, and let her know if it was still happening. The experience for her was incredible, and she assumed it would be the same for Dayna. Andy asks why Dayna was bothered, and Dayna starts to cry. She says she knows Scheana meant it in a good way, but she felt put on spot. It’s been seven years since her mom passed away, and it’s still hard. She doesn’t know if she’ll ever be ready. It’s frustrating for her. She wanted to do it, but had to back out. She was scared of a response either way. She says, people think she’s a bitch, but it’s been her only option most of her life. Lisa asks, why? and Dayna says her dad’s not in her life. After her mom died, it was just her and her sister, and she was only twenty-two. She’s never felt at home for one minute since her mother stopped breathing, and she’s been looking for that. I totally get this, since I always say, I want to go home, but there’s no home to go to anymore. Kristen says she wishes they could hug Dayna. If it was a normal reunion, they would be in a giant circle. Jax says he lost both of his parents; he doesn’t speak to his mom. Unless someone has gone through that, they can’t understand the pain. Andy asks if Jax has considered the time he’s losing in not speaking to his mom, and Jax says, it’s been tough with the virus going on. Ariana knows they hate each other, but tells him to try and give his mom a call. Dayna says, people are quick to judge, and say life is short, but every situation is different. She tried hard to have her dad in her life, but it didn’t work, and she has to live with that.

Andy wants to switch topics to the girls. He asks how Ariana felt, finding out it was Lala who had been talking smack about her house, and not Stassi. We flash back to Scheana relaying the wrong shade to Kristen, and Stassi says she knows Scheana is a sh*t stirrer, but how could she be so messy? Ariana can say Stassi is Regina George or a snob, because that’s definitely true, but what she said came so easy, like she was waiting to get it out. She doesn’t know how many years it will take Ariana to understand that she likes her. Ariana says she felt like they’d worked hard on the friendship, and she lost it. She didn’t even know what she’d said until she watched the show. Lala asks on what planet Stassi would say she’s a grown-ass woman. It didn’t sound like her. Ariana says she’s pivoting everything she said about Stassi to Lala.

We see everyone texting in a group chat, and paying no attention whatsoever. Andy says, bromances over romances are easier said than done, and we see clips from the messy triangle that is Max, Dayna, and Brett. Andy says if Max decided he didn’t want to be with Dayna, why did he think he had a say in who she was with. Max says he didn’t. He and Brett were inseparable – he was the Sandoval to Brett’s Schwartz. Brett says Dayna knew he was skeptical to begin with since he was considering Max. Andy thinks Brett and Max should date, and Lisa says, cheers to that. Schwartz says it’s obvious Max’s feelings were hurt, and Stassi asks, why? Dayna went to him first, and he turned her down. Brett says he realized they were moving too fast. Dayna says they were hanging out a few times a week, and sleeping together (these people are so weird, I don’t know if she means having sex or just sleeping), then Brett said they were moving too fast, and she was over it. She has no more room in her life for one more person who’s not sure or not invested in a relationship. She’s learned about herself. She’s beautiful and she deserves it. Andy says he’s leaving it there.

Andy asks Danica what about the Scheana clone bothered her at the party? Danica says Scheana 2.0 was inserting herself in a conversation where she wasn’t welcome. She told her to bounce, and she didn’t want to. We flash back to their altercation, and Stassi says she wasn’t mad about it. Lisa says Danica is in hospitality, and has to check herself. She can’t have a loose cannon representing the business. Danica says she was completely wrong, and Lisa says she can’t afford someone on the floor who’s so explosive. They’re going to have to talk. Danica says Max’s plan worked out; congratulations. Andy asks how intense it was for James to see Rand, and asks how the relationship has been. James says, amazing, and we flash back to his apology and their bro hug. James says he’s come a long way, and he’s glad Rand pushed Lala back into his life. He’s a stand-up guy, and James hopes their friendship grows. Lala says, it’s been amazing to see James’s growth, and Rand is the most incredible human she’s ever met. She thanks James for his kind words.

Andy says before they have their final thoughts, he wonders if Kristen misses her friendships. Kristen says she doesn’t miss the sh*t, but she misses the friendships. She wishes she could have shared her relationship with new boyfriend Alex, her house, and the monumental moments she’s had. Andy asks, what about Jax and Tom? and Jax says he’s happy with the current status of how things are going. Andy says, the current status is on hold. Lisa says, all of their current status is on hold, and she hopes what the world has been going through in the past few months has given them perspective, and caused them to be reflective. She wants them to come back with the same cohesion they went into this with. Brittany thinks if they could have hung out, they could get through it, but she hasn’t seen any effort; it’s only been hearsay. Lisa says when they get back, she expects they’ll have made a concentrated effort to put it together. Andy says, that’s a good transition.

He thanks everyone for accepting the technology needed for the reunion into their homes. He welcomes Ken, Rand, and Scheana’s new squeeze Brock to the reunion. Lisa says it’s the first time she’s seen Ken in a shirt in two months. Everyone waves. Andy asks Ken how it is being trapped at Villa Rosa with Lisa for two months, and Ken says, it’s fantastic. He’s getting three amazing meals a day. Lisa says he’s missing going to work. Andy says Rand was reluctant to be on the show, and Lala didn’t even use his name in the beginning, calling him her man. He asks how the experience was, and Rand says he was petrified, but at the end of the day, this is Lala’s family, and it was time to jump in and support her. Everyone made it easy. Andy asks what Brock has learned about Scheana, and Brock says, Scheana is a good person. He digs her more all the time. He thinks they all really love each other; it’s somewhere in there. Lisa says she’s grateful for all of them. James’s sobriety is extraordinary. She wants to see them on the other side. Bless them.

Andy says what sounds like, to the Banana Republic, and everyone takes a drink of their cocktail or mocktail. Andy says he can’t wait to see them in person, and tells everyone, stay healthy.

If Loving You Is Wrong

It doesn’t say finale in the guide, which rubs me the wrong way, since it’s the final finale. I hope they wrap some things up, and we’re not just left hanging all over the place.

Marcie can’t stop whacking Randal in the head with the fireplace poker. If he’s not dead, he’s a host from Westworld. She bashes him a couple more times for good measure. She pulls a bookcase down, then hits him again, saying she hates him. She kicks him, and says, get up. If he wants to fight, then fight. Did he think it was going to be easy? It dawns on her that Randal is not getting up. Covered in blood, she grabs her bag, and jets.

Bennett comes home, but he doesn’t go home. Instead, he goes to Randal’s house. He sees Randal lying there, and says, no, goddammit. He kicks Randal, and says someone beat him to it.

Marcie goes to Brad’s house, where Alex is still passed out on the couch. Brad asks her what happened? and she says, Randal. He asks if they argued, and she says he attacked her while she was walking to the car. She was going to her car, and he grabbed her, and they fought. Brad asks if she’s okay, and says he warned Randal. He’s going to kill him. He tells Marcie, he’s going over there, but she says she killed him. He’s dead. Alrighty then.

Rick walks into Randal’s house, and draws his gun. He says, police; don’t move, and tells Bennett to put his hands on his head and get down on his knees. Bennett does, and Rick tells him to put his hands behind his back. Bennett says he didn’t do anything. He didn’t do this. He found Randal. Rick says he doesn’t want to hear it. Rick takes him to the squad car. Um… Rick, there’s no blood on him. I think there would be some. Rick calls for an ambulance, and CSI. Bennett repeats that he didn’t do it. He walked in, and Randal was dead. Rick tells him, be quiet, and goes back in the house. He radios that Randal has been beaten to a pulp. He has no pulse, and there’s brain matter. He needs the coroner.

Brad tells Marcie, calm down. We hear sirens, and she says, the police are here. He says, maybe Randal called the police, and she asks if he thinks Randal is okay. He says, why else would they be there? and tells her that he’ll go and check. He asks her again, what happened? and she says she told him. She grabbed a fireplace poker, and stabbed Randal over and over. Brad says he’ll go see; stay there. She tells him, just go, and he leaves.

Brad approaches Rick, who tells him, stay back. Brad asks, what happened? and Rick points to the coroner’s van, and says, that happened. Brad asks if someone is dead, and Rick says, yeah. Brad asks if he’s sure, and Rick says, there’s no way not to be. Brad asks, who is it? and Rick says, Randal. Brad asks, what happened? but RIck says he can’t tell Brad. From the car, Bennett says, he didn’t do it, Brad says, he did it? and I gasp. I can’t believe Brad is going to let this be pinned on Bennett. Rick tells Brad, go back in his house, and Bennett says he’s telling Rick, he didn’t do it. Rick goes back to the car, and asks what Bennett’s name is. Bennett says, Rick knows his name, and he didn’t do it. He drove up, and a bloody woman in a blue dress was leaving. Rick asks what kind of car she was driving, and Bennett says take him to the station and he’ll tell Rick. He needs to get back to his wife. Kelly runs out, with Tyrell behind her, and Brad makes a return appearance. Kelly asks Rick, what happened? and Rick says, Randal; he’s dead. Someone killed him. Kelly asks, who? and Rick says he doesn’t know, but he has a man in the car. Kelly sees Bennett, and says, no way. What did Randal do to him? Brad says, whatever he did, Bennett got him back. Tyrell says, this neighborhood is crazy, and Kelly says, he’s right about that.

Lushion, Steven, and Natalie are at Esperanza’s house, along with a couple of uniformed officers. Lushion tells Esperanza, the FBI is all over it, and she says they better find her. Steven says, it’s all right, but she says, it’s not all right. Where the hell is Eddie? Lushion says he doesn’t know, and she says, it’s all Eddie’s fault. Natalie tells her, calm down, but Esperanza says she’s not calming down. If she doesn’t have her daughter back unharmed, she’s going to… Natalie pulls her back, and Steven and Lushion step aside to talk. Steven asks if Lushion heard the radio, and Lushion says, a homicide. Steven says, on his street, and Lushion says, that’s Randal’s address. Steven asks if Randal is dead, and Lushion says, that’s what he’s hearing. Steven says, no way it’s connected, but Lushion doesn’t know. Esperanza asks why they’re whispering, and Steven says, it’s nothing. She asks if it has to do with Mica, and he says, no. She wants to talk to the FBI, and tells Natalie, if something happens to Mica, she’s dead.

Rick tells an officer that Bennett says he didn’t do it, but he walked in and Bennet had a fireplace poker in his hand. Book him Danno. Kelly asks if Randal is really dead, and Rick says, yeah. She says, wow, and Rick says they really wanted him dead. There was a lot of overkill. He’s got to take Bennett in, but it’s good to see her out. He suggests they go out to celebrate, and she says, a guy just died. Rick says she didn’t like him anyway, but she says, he’s still a human being. Rick asks who the buff guy is who’s standing there, and she says, Justice’s father. Rick says she didn’t tell him. He thought they had… forget it. Kelly thanks him for everything he did, and he says he’s glad she’s out. Rick leaves, and Tyrell asks Kelly, who was that? She says, a police officer, and he says he can see that. She asks if he’s jealous, and tells him, go on in the house. Tyrell says, the way Rick was looking at her, and touching her shoulder; he obviously likes her. She tells him, go in the house, and he asks, how many men she has now. She says, a man just died, and he wants to talk about this? Show some respect. He asks if Randal was a friend of hers too. He’s a little concerned. She says, no; she hated Randal. He asks why she isn’t happy. Why is she acting all broken up? She says she can’t. She’s going to babysit. The same thing he’s supposed to be doing with their son. She tells him, go in the house.

Larry’s wife cries over him at the hospital. Ian comes in, and she leans on his shoulder. Ian asks how Larry is, and she says, he’s sedated. Ian asks what the doctors are saying, and she says, they have to remove his legs, and he has severe hematoma. Ian says he’s so sorry, and she says she wants them dead. He says he’s sure that’s been taken care of, and she says, Casey will do it; he’ll wipe them all out – and his daughter. She wants them to drain the swamp, and tells Ian to create a hashtag that its going. Larry calls to her, and tells Ian, you don’t want to mess with his wife. He asks if Ian is with them, and Ian says he is. Larry says, no more messing around, and Ian says, none. He’s sorry. Larry says, don’t be. Eddie’s not going to make it through the night. Ian asks where the kid is, and Larry says, get him out. Larry’s wife says, Ian played him; he played them. Get out. Larry calls Ian a traitor; after everything Larry did for him. He tells his wife, if he doesn’t make it, burn Ian. She says he’s going to make it, and Larry says, make sure it gets all the way done. He can’t feel his legs, and he’s going to get them.

On the phone, Lushion asks what Ian’s got, but Ian says he tried to get Larry to tell him where the kid is, but now he won’t let Ian near him. Lushion is going to have to find her. Send someone down to get the phone. Lushion says he’s doing it now, and Ian says, hurry up; he’s in bad shape. Lushion tells Steven to go get Larry’s phone. Steven says Esperanza needs him, but Lushion insists. Steven tells Esperanza, it’s a small lead; that’s all he can say. He’ll be back. Lushion tells her that they’re checking all the possibilities, and Esperanza says, they’re lucky it’s not happening to them. They can keep calm and collected. Lushion says, it’s all right, and tells Steven to go.

Brad – who I hate at this moment – runs downstairs with new clothes for Marcie. Marcie says they’re not hers, but Brad says they have to clean her up. She says she did it; she killed him. She really killed him. They’re going to come for her. Brad says, as far as they’re concerned, she did nothing. They already have a suspect. She says, no. She can’t let him take the rap for something she did. Brad says, it’s done. She did nothing. She looks at him, and he says she has to wash her hands and clean under her nails. Marcie keeps repeating, she killed him, and Brad says they have to clean her up. They can’t see her like this. She did nothing. She wonders what if they come over, and he says, it will be okay. She’s going to be fine. He asks if she’s okay, and she says, no. He tells her that Randal got what he deserved, and she says he made her so mad. Brad says, the bastard deserved it, and she says, he did, but Bennett doesn’t. Brad holds her, and says, everything is okay. She says she can’t let someone go down for a crime she committed, and Brad says she doesn’t know him, like this makes it okay. She asks who it is, and he says, the neighbor from across the street. She says, he’s a nice guy; she has to tell them. Brad says, she’ll tell them nothing. Let him do this. They’re going to swap her clothes for Alex’s. Alex won’t know, and they’ll ride off into the sunset with the kids. Marcie says, he’s that angry with Alex? A lawyer brought her there; this isn’t going to work. Brad says, she’s out of it. They’ll say they went to bed, got up, and found out she did it. Marcie says, he’s a lawyer, and Brad says, then he can get Alex off. He tells her to grab her makeup, and give him the dress. Make sure she covers the bruise on her face. Brad takes off Alex’s shoes.

Steven and Rick go to Larry’s hospital room. Steven tells Larry’s wife that he’s there for Larry’s phone, but she says he doesn’t have one. Larry opens his eyes, and Rick asks where his belongings are.  The nurse said they’re in there. Larry says they can’t take his phone, but Steven says they can and will. Larry says they need a warrant, and Steven says he has it right there. Does Larry want to read it? Give him the phone. Steven tells Rick to find it, and Rick starts searching. Larry’s wife tells them, get out, and Steven asks if she wants to be hit with a thorough investigation. Rick finds Larry’s phone in the locker, and Steven asks what the passcode is. Larry says he can’t remember, and Steven grabs Larry’s hand, putting it on the phone. Steven says, got it, and Larry says he’ll sue their asses. They leave, and in the hallway, Rick suggests Steven hurry before it locks again. Steven asks if Rick doesn’t have something to do. Rick says he was just trying to help. He’s out, and hopes Steven finds what he’s looking for.

Natalie gives Esperanza some water, and Esperanza says she needs to move around. She wonders where the FBI is, and Lushion says, they’re on it. She asks why they haven’t called, and Natalie says, they will. Esperanza says she shouldn’t have hit Mica. They never tell you the person you love most in life, you’ll hate with a passion. Eddie poisoned Mica; his flesh and blood. Who does that to a child? Natalie says, Eddie, and Esperanza asks why he had to bring Mica into their problems. She tells Natalie, Eddie hit her too, today, and Natalie asks if that was the first time. Esperanza says, it was, and Natalie asks if she’s sure. Esperanza says, the only thing that matters right now is her daughter. She admits Eddie pushed her and got in her face, and Natalie says, that’s abuse. Esperanza says she knows. Why does Natalie think she left him? Their daughter is the only thing on earth she has. If Mica doesn’t come back, she swears she’ll kill him. Natalie says Mica will be back.

Eddie waits for Ian in the parking garage, and tases him for like, 30 seconds. He tells Ian, he has nothing to lose. Where is his daughter? Ian says he doesn’t know, and Eddie tases him again, asking, where is she? Ian had better think quick. Eddie tases Ian again, and Ian screams. Eddie asks where his daughter is. Larry wouldn’t tell him, so Ian had better think of answers real quick, damn him. Ian tries to get up, but Eddie gets some duct tape (he probably keeps a handy roll in his pocket), and tapes the taser to Ian’s back, so that it just keeps going. He asks if Ian likes it, and tells Ian to think about his daughter. Ian just lies there, and Eddie says he should have talked.

Unless the whole town and everyone in it blows up, there’s no way this story is ending neatly. They’ve only got twenty more minutes.

Eddie walks into Larry’s room, and Larry’s wife tells him, get out. He punches her in the face, and she drops to the floor. He asks if Larry thinks he’s done with him. He grabs Larry by the collar of his hospital gown, and says, tell him. Larry says he doesn’t know, and Eddie grabs a pillow. Larry insists he doesn’t know, and Eddie puts the pillow over Larry’s face, and pushes down. He says he can’t hear Larry. He lifts the pillow, and Larry gives him an address, saying she’s in a container or something; it’s hard to understand him. Eddie asks if she can breathe, and puts the pillow back on Larry’s face. He lifts it again, and Larry cries out. He says he doesn’t know, and Eddie resumes smothering him, and pressing harder. Eddie says, Larry can’t breathe. I’m not sure, but I think Larry is dead. Yep; he’s flatlining. Remind me not to go to this hospital. Ever. Their security is worse than at GH.

A security guard finds Ian, and asks if he’s all right. He removes the taser, and calls for a stretcher. He tells Ian, hang in with him. He sees Eddie coming, and says they need help. Eddie grabs his taser, and the guard says, someone did this to Ian. Eddie says he doesn’t give a sh*t. This wore his battery down. He kicks Ian, and walks off. The guard is like, WTF?

Rick knocks on Brad’s door, and asks for Marcie. I hate Brad and Marcie. Rick says he needs the body ID’d, and Brad asks if it has to happen right now. Rick says, sorry, and Brad says he’ll go with her, and Rick asks if he doesn’t have kids. Brad asks if Randal isn’t next door, but Rick says he’s at the morgue. Rick also has a couple of questions. Marcie asks, about what? and he says, an eyewitness saw a female leaving the house; bloody, and wearing a blue dress. He sees Alex, and asks, who’s that? Brad says, his ex-wife. He invites Rick in, and Rick asks if Brad minds if he asks Alex a few questions. This is probably because Alex is now wearing Marcie’s blue dress, with blood stains on it. Mind you, the dress looks like it has uniform splatters on it, and the rest of Alex is totally pristine. Which is actually hard to believe after the night she had. Brad says Alex is out of it, and Rick asks, for how long? Brad says, she came home drunk, and she’s been doing drugs. She blacks out, and does things she doesn’t remember. Rick rouses Alex, and she swats at him, saying, don’t touch her. Where is she? Rick asks, where was she today? and she says she doesn’t know. How did she get here? Rick tells her, come with him, and she asks, why? She says she doesn’t know what’s going on, and asks what happened to her? He says she doesn’t know? and helps her up. He steers her to the door, and she asks why they’re leaving. She calls to Brad, who doesn’t even react, and Rick tells Brad and Marcie to meet him at the station. He takes Alex out.

After they leave, Marcie freaks, but Brad says, be cool.

Esperanza paces, which has been her natural state lately. She hears over the radio, 187 on a female (187 is dead, for those who aren’t familiar with the lingo), and Lushion tells the officers to go outside. Esperanza asks if it was Mica, and Lushion says they don’t know. She says she wants to hear, but he says he’ll ask outside. She tells him to hurry, and as the officers leave, Eddie walks in, and I gasp. I’ve done that a lot during this episode. Esperanza pushes everyone back. Eddie is crying, and she says, son of a bitch. Did he see her? He nods, and cries some more, and she asks, what happened? He says, that son of a bitch; he did it. She says, that’s right. Eddie never does anything wrong. Eddie says, Larry did this, but she says, no. Eddie did this. He says he didn’t come there for this craziness, and she says, he’s crazy. And he’s going to take responsibility for what he did. She’s going to make him do it. He says it’s her fault. She made their daughter crazy. Esperanza calmly takes a gun out of a drawer in the coffee table, and shoots the sh*t out of Eddie. He slumps against the front door. I’m like, whoa. At least that’s done. Lushion tells Esperanza, put the gun down. Eddie looks at her one more time, and breathes his last. Esperanza cries.

🙋🏽‍♀️ A Note Of Farewell…

This sucks in the most humongous way. I love Tyler Perry, and I loved this show. Some of the plots may have seemed silly, but it’s soap in its truest form. The bad guys were the worst, and the good guys had blinding halos (I’m especially talking to you, Lushion), except for Brad, who’s halo got decidedly tarnished at the end. I’m not sure what happened to him, but I wasn’t thrilled with how he nearly pinned Randal’s killing on Bennett, and then pinned it on Alex. Although we won’t speak of how neither of them had a speck of blood on them.

I’ll never forget the moment I fell in love with ILYIW. Alex had just had the baby – who never even got a name, poor thing – and all the women were looking into the nursery. The baby was obviously Black, and Natalie said, so who’s going to tell Brad? In perfect soap timing, Brad had come in, and said, tell me what? For those who love soap, we’ve seen variations on that scene play out a million times. It gave the show the official soap stamp of approval.

While often called nighttime drama, I like to call a soap a soap, and Tyler evoked the vibe of the nighttime soap’s heyday, the 80s days of Dynasty and Dallas. I don’t know if it’s the type of film he uses, the way it’s written and directed, or a combination of things, but I was hooked on The Haves and the Have Nots right away, as well as If Loving You Is Wrong when it followed. I’m not even sure why I started watching them, although I probably saw an ad while watching OWN. It’s been time well spent. Only half-joking. The writing is awesome, and many scenes make me feel like I’m watching a play, they’re so tight. And I get the feeling the actors are allowed a little freedom. The casts are top-notch too.

Why this show isn’t making a return appearance, I have no idea, but my feelings tonight are conflicted. While I was thrilled to see both Randal and Eddie get what was coming to them – and by exactly the right people – too much was left unsaid. Like WTF Brad? How is Alex being arrested going to play out? Will Ian make it? Now what happens to Esperanza? It wasn’t like Eddie was being aggressive. And who will Kelly end up with? Tyrell, Rick, someone completely different, or will she take a breather and enjoy being single? What about Tanya? Did Brad and Marcie ride off into the sunset? Who the blip is Casey? Way too many unanswered questions. They should have at least given this a two-hour finale.

I’m going to miss this show… sniff

 Heard in passing. Yesterday in Below Deck Mediterranean‘s recap, I wasn’t sure if it was Captain Sandy’s father or brother who was a cop and hunter, but when I had a rerun on in the background, I heard her say it was her stepdad. Okay. I was close.

🥇 Tyler Steps Up…

The hardest working man in show business puts his money where his mouth is.


🛌 And So To Bed…

It’s been a long TV night, so stay safe, stay flexible, and stay making a difference.

June 9, 2020 – A Funeral, Rules Reunion Continues, Randal Gets What’s Coming To Him & Changes


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s GH was preempted by the funeral of George Floyd, the final journey of a man who changed the world.




Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part Two (@home)

We backtrack a little. Tom says he’s never had anyone do more things to him – friend or foe – than Jax. Jax wonders why Tom still wanted to come to the wedding, and Tom says there were a lot of guidelines he had to follow. Tom brings up Jax’s father, and Lala says, no parents. Jax says Tom is an awful person, and everyone talks at once. King Andy says, mute, and their mics are turned off. Kristen laughs, and Andy says Jax said he still envisioned being old with Tom; how does he envision the future now? Jax says if he didn’t care about Tom, he wouldn’t have Tom’s name tattooed on his arm. I… I don’t know what to say. Tom says he never deals in absolutes, but he wants Jax to be better. Andy wants to leave it there, so there it stays. He says Scheana famously wants the camera only on her good side, but a server found herself on Scheana’s bad side. We see at least six clips of Scheana saying she’s not jealous of Dayna being with Max. Andy asks why Dayna wearing no bra bothered Scheana, and Dayna says, men don’t wear them. Lisa says, it’s not indecent, whereas she objects to Danica wearing no underwear. Lala says if it wasn’t about Max, she’s not sure what it was about. Scheana says she’s not being nice when she gets screwed over, and Dayna calls bullsh*t. Lala thinks Scheana was less intimidated by Charli, but Charli says they were all bullies, and Lala says, that’s laughable. Andy asks if it’s true that Scheana and Max’s relationship was strictly platonic, and Max says, for the most part. He and Scheana played a game where they had to make out. Lisa asks if they’re twelve, and Max claims Scheana tried to give him a BJ one morning, but he stopped her. Dayna says she’d asked Scheana if they hooked up, and Scheana said they’d made a pact to never let it come out, then she felt gaslighted when Scheana pretended it wasn’t true. Scheana says she was embarrassed by lot of things that came out, but she felt comfortable with Max. Stassi says, BJs are never comfortable, and Beau asks if Max just walked around like that all day. Brett dies laughing.

Andy says, no one had more ups and downs than White Kanye. This season, James got a wake-up call. We flash back to James being an a-hole, Raquel’s ultimatum, and James’s decision to be sober. Tom cries, and Jax looks pissed, but by the end everyone is dabbing at their eyes. They all commend James, and Schwartz says he was touched when James wondered if he’d be enough without drinking. Raquel is lauded as queen, and James says he’s on eleven months. He can’t believe that was even him. Kristen says, bullsh*t, and Andy calls her out, but she says she has nothing to say. Scheana thinks James should apologize to Kristen for coming at her in the last hour. We flash back to last week when James called Kristen a POS. Kristen says it broke her heart, and Danica wonders why they’re going in this direction. Tom says Kristen was his worst relationship ever, and James says Dayna knows it’s the effing truth. Lala says she and James have the same issue, and Lisa says they’ve both moved forward. James says he’s happy Raquel is still there, and Raquel says James’s rage texts were the final straw. She’d turned a blind eye to his treatment of others, and she’s sorry for that. Andy gives Lisa the last word, and Lisa says when James decided to change his life around, she was behind him 100%. It’s a long journey, and he is enough. Everyone agrees that James is a better James now, and Andy points out that Lala is one year sober. He brings up the meme that James posted regarding Randall and 50 Cent, and Lala says the beef got bad, and she’d thought they’d moved past petty stuff like that. James says he’s not proud of things he’s done, and sees them clearly now. Lala says, everything is good now.

Andy moves on to Katie’s wine night, when Lala told Raquel that she forgot her place. Lala says, when she’s in the zone, sh*t comes out of her mouth, and she doesn’t know what she’s saying. She was mortified, and doesn’t know why she did it. Raquel says she’s (meaning herself) too young and pretty to tolerate bullsh*t, and everyone laughs. We see a clip from the after-show, where Lala is saying they need to grow up. It’s not interesting to watch a thirty-four year old woman in a crop top, doing the same thing over and over. Scheana says Lala made it seem like she had no substance, and it was hurtful. Lala says she’s disgusted by the things she said to people, and how she reacted. She thought sobriety was the answer, but she has more work to do. Scheana says, it felt like an attack, and Katie says Lala seems to pick on the nice girls. Stassi says she’s a nice girl, and everyone is like, um… Scheana says, it’s the ones Lala perceives as passive, and Lala says she realized she preys on the weak. She’s taken time to work on herself and reflect, and she’s righting her wrongs, but she needs to do and be better.

After a break, Andy forgets what he’s coming back to, and welcomes us back to the Real Housewives. We see clips of everyone in quarantine; Stassi cooking, Lisa cleaning, Schwartz and Katie singing karaoke, Danica cooking, and Brett working out. Brittany explains that she and Jax have been doing tournaments, and this is a timed event. We see Jax take a shot, eat a wing from Hooters, take a slug of something I think Brittany calls amondo, take a selfie, make a cornhole, and then get a basketball in the basket. Afterwards, he jumps in the pool. We see Scheana and her new boyfriend doing a silly workout video, and Andy says, all of the videos are on brand. Lisa wonders if he’s suggesting she normally cleans, and he says hers is the least on brand. I’m not so sure about that. I can totally see Lisa ripping the kitchen apart, and cleaning behind the appliances. Andy asks if Katie is still knitting. She says she switched to Legos, and Lisa recommends having sex. Andy asks Kristen how things are going with new boyfriend Alex, and we see a video of them pitching a living room tent, and hanging out in it. Jax says Alex is an awesome guy, and Andy asks how many fights Jax and Brittany have gotten in. Jax says not that many, except for lately. For the most part, they’re both homebodies.

Andy says Jax made a point of telling Brittany that he didn’t like strip clubs, and was the only one without girl when they went during his bachelor party weekend. We flash back to clips showing us otherwise, and Jax saying he was going to leave Brittany for one of these girls. Jax says he got caught up in everyone else’s excitement, and the party atmosphere. Brittany says she told him that she didn’t care, and Beau says the way Jax described it was how he was reacting. We flash back to Beau practically running from a stripper. Andy says Jax didn’t appreciate Tom as a best man, and Jax says Tom just wanted to do it because he wanted to be included in the wedding part of the show. Lisa says he went to Jax’s father’s funeral, which wasn’t televised. He’s been a good friend. Tom says he flew fifteen hours, and bought three suits, and Andy says Tom forgave Jax after Jax slept with his girlfriend. Tom says, Jax was so happy, and having a great time; he loved seeing Jax happy. Jax thinks Tom is a good actor, but Lisa says, that’s not fair. Everyone agrees, and Ariana says, if Tom was a good actor, he wouldn’t be on Vanderpump Rules. BA-DUM-CHH!

We hear some noise in the background, and Andy explains that it’s cowbells being rung at 7 pm for the healthcare workers in NYC. Everyone applauds. We see photos from The Garden expansion of TomTom, and Lisa says it was up and running, and doing well when Covid-19 hit. Andy talks about how Tom and Schwartz helped out TomTom’s employees by doing video messages for fans. Tom says they raised $50K, and Schwartz says he’s been reinvigorated professionally. He wants to have an even bigger empire with Tom, Lisa, and maybe even Katie. Katie suggests Katie Maloney’s Bar and Grill, and Schwartz says they’ll discuss the name.

Brett and Scheana are up next. Brett thinks Scheana is a nice girl, but puts out the wrong signals. Andy reminds everyone that Brett said Scheana wasn’t a great kisser, and Ariana says, lies. Brett says the kissing itself wasn’t bad, but it was a bad kissing experience. Scheana tells him that he didn’t say that to her face, and Andy says Brett called her middle-aged to her face. Tom asks if middle-aged isn’t fifty, and Brett says J-Lo is hot. Lisa says she’s on Scheana’s side with this, and Scheana says she’s been nothing but good to him, and now she’s embarrassed. Brett tells her, they agreed to just be friends, but she kept talking about something in the future. She’d even put pressure on him, asking him to pretend there would be something in the future. Danica says Brett was misleading, the way he flirted with Scheana, and Kristen says he tried make Scheana look like sh*t. Brett says it was like the senior employees were embarrassing the new people, and Jax says, welcome to Vanderpump Rules.

Dayna asks if everyone is the same amount of jittery as they were for an in-person reunion. Ariana says, more, and Kristen says, they’re in a safe bubble of their own home. Andy says, the Witches of WeHo had more trials than their Salem ancestors, and the coven officially cracked. We flash back to that, and Kristen says she just wanted her friends to be there for her the way she was for them. Tom wants interject, but Ariana tells him, it’s not about him. That doesn’t stop him from saying Kristen is an over-venter. Kristen says they all do it, and asks if hers has an expiration date. She’s not saying everything she did was right, but she was out of her mind. Every time they bashed Carter, it made her want to protect him. She knows the relationship was toxic and taxing. She’s sorry she’s not having the same happy moments they are, and got to the point where she said, f*** you guys; I’m gone. Wow. That was some out of context editing in the preview, making us think she left the reunion. Beau says they were spending hours hearing same thing to the point where they couldn’t do it anymore. Katie says it started years ago. Kristen would go on and on about how bad it was, and the next day, it was like the conversation didn’t happen. Then it would start all over again. Stassi admits she didn’t communicate properly about her feelings. It’s not about Kristen being in a sh*tty relationship. They’d had a discussion about Kristen wanting to be honest and open regarding her relationship, and how she wanted help with that. Then the second they helped, Kristen threw them under the bus. We flash back to Kristen saying they’re not being supportive. Stassi says when they’re in a group, the situation is good, but when they’re alone, it’s not good. Kristen made them look like a-holes. She thought Kristen would recognize what she’d done at the Reunion, but she doubled down. We flash back to last season’s Reunion, and Katie says Kristen aggressively defended Carter, then acted like they were crazy. The friendship wasn’t what it had been. Brittany’s dog keeps barking, and Andy asks her to tell her dog to shut up. I’m not sure why he’s so pissed; everyone is filming from home. He asks if Kristen can see why it was frustrating, and Kristen says, hindsight is 20/20. She says, Lala kept saying Carter wasn’t paying his way, yet Lala benefits from Randall’s generosity. Lala says if Kristen was happy with Carter, it would be fine, but he sucked her dry emotionally and financially. (Not to mention, Randall is a billionaire and engaged to Lala.) Andy asks if Stassi is happy that Kristen has moved on with someone else, and Stassi says, Alex seems great. Carter sucks ass.

Andy says James has had his problems with Kristen, but knows what it’s like to be excluded. He asks what James thought about Stassi and Katie dumping Kristen as a friend. James says he could have predicted it. It’s not the first time; they abandoned the friendship in the past. If you don’t change your ways and get your sh*t together, people get bored. Her friends’ lives are escalating financially and with love. They’re actually doing it, but she’s not, and it’s sad, but that’s the reality. Andy says Kristen was excluded from a lot of things, and asks what was the most hurtful. Kristen says, Stassi and Beau’s engagement party. Andy says Lisa is the first one to say she doesn’t want Kristen around, but thought she should be invited. Why was it different? Lisa says Kristen was part of the dynamic, and they were events that can’t be replicated. Their friendship has gone up and down, and she thought Stassi might regret it if Kristen wasn’t there, but she didn’t realize how serious it was. Andy brings up Katie saying Stassi was the Beyoncé of the group, and wanted to leave. Stassi says, if you don’t think you’re the Beyoncé of your own life, what the hell are you doing? She tells Andy that she lets something build to a point where she doesn’t know how to unravel it. Andy asks, if the wedding was tomorrow, would Kristen be invited? Stassi says she’s too much of a p*ssy, and conflicted. She loves and misses Kristen, but she’s conflicted.

Next time, the Reunion continues, Stassi and Beau’s engagement is rehashed, Lisa reveals there was a rumor she and Brett were having an affair, Andy suggests Max and Brett date, and Brittany says she can’t stand Tom and Ariana.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Eddie has Larry pinned between their cars in the parking garage. Larry says he can’t breathe. Eddie gets out, and asks where his daughter is. Larry says he’s going to die, and Eddie says, that’s the whole point. If Larry doesn’t tell him where his daughter is, he’ll get back in and ram him again. He can choke on his blood while he thinks about it. Larry’s wife runs over, and asks what Eddie is doing. Larry tells her, call an ambulance, and she runs back to her car. Eddie asks where his daughter is, and Larry says he doesn’t have her. Larry’s wife comes back, and tells Larry the ambulance is on its way. Eddie knocks her down, and Larry tells her to get back in her car. Eddie says it’s Larry’s decision. Eddie gets back in his car, and revs the engine. Larry begs him not too, but Eddie moves forward. Larry cries, no! and Larry’s wife shoots at Eddie. Eddie dives out the passenger door, hits the ground, and runs off. Larry’s wife runs to him, and gives him the phone, saying it’s Casey. He tells Casey, if he dies, kill her. His wife says the ambulance is coming, and tells Casey to do what Larry says. We hear sirens.

Tyrell dozes on Kelly’s couch. Kelly comes out, and he says he thought she was asleep. She says she can’t sleep, but she doesn’t know why. He asks if it’s him, and she asks how he did it. How does he sleep after being in jail? He tells her that she’ll have to get used to it, and she asks if the sofa is comfortable. He says, not as comfortable as her bed, and she says he brought that girl in her house. He tells her, let it go, and she apologizes for being mean to him. He sits up, and asks if his mom called her. She sits on the couch, and says she was just thinking about how he went to jail for her. She was doing that crazy stupid stuff at the bank, and he took the fall. He says they both enjoyed the money; he was stupid. She says she didn’t realize how bad it was until after she was in jail. Can he forgive her? He says she’s letting him stay, and thanks her. She says she needs his forgiveness, and he says she needed to be there for Justice. He wasn’t there to raise him, and needed her to do it. He’s cool. She says she’s sorry, and he says he’s all right. She thanks him, and says she might sleep with him if he gets tested. HIV and AIDS are rampant in their community. He asks her for his paper bag, and takes out a form. He gives it to her, saying his mother made him get an insurance policy, and that’s all of his bloodwork. Where’s her test? She says the only other person she’s been with besides him is Travis. She got tested when she found out how crazy he was. He says he wants to see her results, and she goes to the desk and gets the paper out. He stares at it a while, and she asks why he’s looking at it so hard; she’s negative. He says, there’s nothing in the way right now, but she says, yes there is – her. They can’t do anything with her… their son there. He asks if she thinks Justice will come around, and she says, Justice is a good boy. He’s going to love Tyrell so much. There’s quiet a moment, and she says she’s hungry. He says all she has is stale canned meat, and she says she’ll figure something out. She tells him, stop looking at her, but he says he can’t help it.

At the Cowboy Bar, Guy is trying to get Alex out the door, but she says, no. He asks what’s wrong with her? This is going to happen. Johnny looks over, but goes back to work. Guy tells her, relax, and she says she has to go to the bathroom, clutching at her head. Johnny asks if she wants more, and she says, when she comes back. Guy asks Johnny, what the hell is going on? In the bathroom, Alex takes out her phone.

Marcie comes out in a bikini and heels, and Brad says he’s ready. His phone rings, and Marcie says, it’s Alex. She must know they’re about to get busy. He says he doesn’t care, and she says, they’re doing it. At the bar, Alex says, Brad, please, and leans against the wall. She hangs up, and makes another call.

Ian’s phone rings, and I laugh. Poor Ian. He thought it was his week at the beginning, but it’s not. I know the feeling. He answers, and Alex says, help me. He asks who it is, and she says, Alex. She tells him that she’s in trouble; they gave her something, and she doesn’t know what’s going on. He asks if she knows who she’s calling, and she says she just dialed the last number. She’s at the Cowboy Bar. He tells her, stay there. He’ll find her. She slumps to the floor. He calls her name, and when he gets no response, he runs to get dressed. I should probably mention, there aren’t many shirts worn in this episode.

Marcie and Brad get busy, and Brad tells her to be quiet because of the kids. He says, watch this, and calls Randal. Randal goes to the window and sees them. He watches for a moment, and Marcie finally closes the curtain. Randal says, okay, and puts clothes on. He says, I got you, and leaves. Marcie asks if Brad thinks he saw, and Brad says, yep. She says, great; that was fun, and starts to get dressed. He says he thought they were… He’s ready. She says, it was just for kicks; zip her up. She’s not getting in that woman’s bed. He suggests they flip the mattress, but she says, it’s not happening. She tells him, downstairs, and he puts his pants on. Seriously, there’s a lot of clothing business going on.

Guy asks Johnny where hell Alex is, and Johnny says, the bathroom. He’ll go get her. He goes in the bathroom, and Guy says, son of a bitch. Johnny shakes Alex, and says, come on. She says, no; she doesn’t want to do that, and Johnny asks if she knows where she is. He sits on the floor with her, and she says she’s at a bar. He says, his bar. They call this the Cowboy Bar. It says heifers on the bathroom door, and heifers are a breed. They don’t want to breed in there, but they do want sex. She says she doesn’t want to, and he tells her, relax. Let him give her something. He takes out a pill, and she says she doesn’t want it. He asks if she knows who he is, and she says, the bartender; he makes the drinks. He says he does, but he’s a pimp. Why the hell does she think all these girls are hanging out there all day? I have to admit, I’m floored. She says she’s not a prostitute, and he says he was paid for it, so tonight, she is. Take the pill. It will make her relax. She says she doesn’t want to, but he tells her, listen to him. She wants to do him, doesn’t she? She says, no, and he tries to shove the pill in her mouth. He gets it in, and tells her to swallow. She’s going to be there a lot more. She’ll feel better in a few minutes, but she’d better start getting it together. He lifts her up, and says they’ll do a little two-step out of there.

Ian walks into the bar (not the start of a joke), and the waitress says, it’s a private club. He sees Alex, and tells Johnny, it’s not happening. Johnny says, I don’t think so, homeboy. Get the hell out. Ian says, it can go one of two ways. They can let him walk out with Alex, or he’ll push a button, and all of Maxine’s finest will be all over Johnny and this joint. Johnny asks if Ian is a cop, and Ian says, worse; an attorney, who knows a lot of them. He’s a state attorney, and he prosecutes mean good old boys like him. Johnny says, take her, and shoves Alex at Ian. Ian helps Alex out the door, and Guy tells Johnny that he’d better get his money back. Johnny gives it to him and tells him, get out. Wow. Did Johnny turn out to be a disappointment.

At the hospital, Bennett asks if Tanya is okay. She says, the grass grows. No one waits for it to grow. He was in the house. He said he’d send her to jail for vandalism. Bennett says, who? and she says he was going take Bennett away from her. He asks, who said that? when the doctor comes in. Bennett says he’s never seen her this bad, and the doctor says, it could get worse. Bennett says, she was fine. He’s confused, and the doctor says, something is making it worse. Bennett brought her pills in, but the pills in one of the bottles isn’t what they prescribed. There are officers there to talk to Bennett about where she got these. They can do long term mental harm. He says he doesn’t know where she got them. Do they think he did something to hurt her? The doctor tells him to talk to the police – out there – and Bennett goes into the hallway where Rick is waiting. Rick says they received a call about Tanya being given prescription drugs, and Bennett says he had nothing to do with that. Rick asks how Bennett thinks she might have gotten them, and Bennet says his neighbor gave them to her; Randal Holmes. Rick says, okay, and Bennett says Randall is a doctor; he’s been bothering them since they moved in. Rick says, tell him more, and Bennett says he’s going to kill that son of a bitch. Rick says, don’t tell him that. How does he know Randall did it? Bennett says Randall waited until he was at work, and would try to do things like this. Rick asks if he has any proof, and Bennett says, go to Randall’s house. He promises Rick will find proof. Rick says those are strong allegations, and Bennett tells him, do what he has to do. Rick says he’ll go talk to Randall, but stay close. Really close. Don’t run.

Esperanza paces. There’s knock at door, and she runs to it, saying, Mica, but it’s Natalie. Esperanza says she asked Natalie to stay home in case Mica goes there, but Natalie says Lushion is there. Esperanza can’t believe this happened. She hit Mica. Natalie asks, why? and Esperanza says, Eddie. It’s always him. He told Mica the most horrible things about her. It caught her unaware, and she hit Mica. Natalie asks if that’s why Mica ran away, and Esperanza says, no. Eddie owes some people a lot of money, and they took her. She has to call the FBI. Natalie asks if Steven knows. He and Lushion know a lot of FBI, and can call. Let them. Esperanza says she needs to speak to them, but Natalie says let her call Lushion.

Lushion roots around in the refrigerator, but finds nothing. The phone rings, and Natalie tells him to call the FBI. He asks, what’s up? and she tells him, Esperanza said Eddie owes people money, and they took Mica. Lushion says he’s on it, and she says, Steven knows. Natalie tells Esperanza, it will be all right. Lushion calls Steven, who says he’s been tracking Eddie. He’s in the parking garage, and says, Eddie beat up Larry pretty bad. Lushion asks if Larry is dead, and Steven says, damn near. Lushion thinks Larry must know where Mica is, and Steven says Eddie must think so, to do something like this. He thought nothing he did would come back to visit him. Lushion says, it’s visitation day, and asks if Steven knows where Eddie is, but Steven says, Larry’s wife fired at him, and he took off. Someone bangs on Lushion’s door, and he says, never mind. He knows where Eddie is; he’s there. Steven says he’s on his way.

Eddie storms into Lushion’s house, saying, Larry; that son of a bitch took Mica. Lushion says he knows, and tells Eddie to be quiet. He asks, what did Eddie do? and Eddie says he owed the cat some money, since Eddie lives in the 50s. Lushion asks, how much? and Eddie says, $50K. Lushion asks if $50K is worth his daughter’s life, and Eddie says he didn’t think anything would happen. Eddie swears to God, if he hurts her… He tried to get that MF’er to confess, and he did. He needs Lushion to do what he does. Lushion asks again what Eddie did, and Eddie says he pinned Larry’s ass to his car with the bumper of his truck. Lushion says Eddie is in deep, and Eddie says they took his daughter. Lushion brings Eddie outside, and Eddie says he wants Lushion to call every contact in his phonebook. Lushion tells Eddie to stop yelling in front of his house. Lushion calls the FBI, and says he wants to report a kidnapping.

Ian pulls up, and Eddie flies across the street, jumping on him. They fight, and Lushion runs over, pulling them apart. Ian says Eddie came out of nowhere; what the hell? Eddie says Ian is probably involved with his daughter’s kidnapping, and Ian says he doesn’t know anything about it. Lushion says they could be talking about aiding and abetting, but Ian insists he doesn’t know anything. Lushion tells Eddie that he needs to calm down. Ian’s phone rings, and he wonders why Larry’s wife would be calling him. Lushion tells him to put it on speaker, and she tells Ian, Eddie tried to kill Larry. He told Casey to kill her if he’s killed. Ian asks if Larry is all right, but she says, no, and he says he’s on his way. Lushion asks who Casey is, but Ian doesn’t know. Eddie keeps babbling, and Lushion tells him to STFU. Ian says he needs to check on Larry, and Lushion says, if he knows anything… Ian says he doesn’t. All he knows is Larry told Casey that if he’s killed, to kill her. Lushion looks in Ian’s car and asks if that’s Alex. What’s going on? Ian says, Alex called him. She was at a bar, and asked him get her. She’s drugged out of her mind. Lushion says, sh*t, and Ian says he was going to let her sleep it off, but now he needs to go to the hospital. Lushion says he needs to think, and Ian says they don’t have much time. I laugh because, poor Lushion. Steven arrives on his bike, and Lushion tells him to help Ian with Alex. Don’t ask. Steven and Ian help Alex out of the car, and Ian carries her to Brad’s house. Eddie asks if they’re really worried about that drunk ass bitch, and Lushion tells Eddie to sit.

Ian bangs on Brad’s door, and Brad tells Marcie, it’s probably Eddie. He’d better answer before the kids wake up. Ian brings in Alex, and deposits her on the couch. Brad says, what the hell? What’s going on? Ian says, sorry. She was at a bar. He says, the kids can’t see her like this, and Ian says he didn’t know what else to do. Brad asks if Ian was at the bar, and Ian says, no, but she’s pretty wasted. He has to go, and leaves them to handle it. Brad says this isn’t good, and Ian says, sorry. He can’t get out fast enough. Brad wonders what’s going on with Alex.

On the phone, Lushan says he got a lead from someone Casey works with; Larry. Get on it. Steven says he’s going with Lushion, and points to Eddie, saying, what about this jackass? Eddie wails, are they just going to leave him there? and Lushion tells him, sit there; relax. He calls Natalie, and says he needs her to come out there. She says she has the kids, and he says he’ll ask Kelly to look after them. She says, no, and he says, dammit. Now is not the time. Steven leaves on his bike, and Lushion knocks on Kelly’s door. Tyrell answers, and Lushion asks him to get Kelly. Kelly comes out, and Lushion explains that Esperanza’s daughter is missing, and he needs her to watch the kids. Kelly says it’s the least she can do; Tyrell can watch Justice. She tells Tyrell that she’ll be right next door. Eddie moans to Kelly that they have his little girl, but she keeps walking. Eddie says, somebody help him, and puts his head in his hands and cries.

A police car pulls up, and Rick goes to Randal’s house. Randal comes out acting all tough, and asks what Rick wants. Rick says he wants to do his job, and says they can make it easy on each other. He asks if Randal knows his new neighbors, and Randal says he called the police when he was assaulted by that ghetto ho Natalie, and by him across street. Rick asks if Randal reported it, and Randal asks, why? They won’t do anything. Rick says he needs to know if Randal gave Bennett’s wife pills. Randal says Rick needs to know how to kiss his ass. Rick says he can come back with a warrant, and Randal says that’s exactly what he has to do. Rick says he’s just trying to keep the peace, and Randal says, kiss his ass. Rick asks why Randal is so hostile, and Randal says, y’all made me this way. Rick says he’s going to try get to the bottom of this, and Randal suggests Rick get to the bottom of kissing his ass. Rick asks if Randal is saying he’s not going to cooperate, and Randal says, she is pretty and fine. Go serve and protect. Officer Bitch. And kiss his ass. Give that to the whole department. Rick drives off.

Alex starts to come to, and says, Brad? She’s sorry. He says he doesn’t want to hear it. What has she been doing? She says they gave her something, and he asks, what’s going on with her? Marcie asks if those are needle marks. Wow. This is out of control, and the kids are upstairs. Brad says she’s not helping, and she says she’s just stating facts. He says she’s stating the obvious, and he doesn’t want her to ruin everything. She says she doesn’t like his tone, and she asks if he wants her to leave now that Alex is home. He says, it’s a lot to deal with, and she says, let Alex figure out her own sh*t. He says maybe it’s best she does leave, and she says, gladly. Marcie heads for the door, saying, it’s all good, and Alex is all his. He says he’s trying to focus, and it’s a lot; don’t be angry. She says she’s leaving before she gets angry. He says he’ll call her later, and she says, good luck.

Marcie goes to get in her car, and Randal grabs her from behind, putting his hand over her mouth. He brings her into his house, and dumps her on the floor. He tells her, shut the hell up, and she pushes at him. She cracks him over the head with a lamp, shattering it, and I laugh. He falls, but grabs her ankle when she heads for the door. She kicks him, getting some good ones in, and then whacks him in the head with a fireplace poker. He drops, and she continues to beat him with it. As we all would.

Next time – the end is here – Marcie goes back to Brad, Larry tells Ian to get out of his hospital room, Eddie sneaks up on Ian with a taser, Bennett is arrested, and Tyrell says, this neighborhood is crazy.

🛌🏼 Tomorrow’s Another Day…

Well, at his time of the morning, today is another day. And I need that pesky sleep. So stay safe, stay merciful, and stay open to change in yourself and others.

June 2, 2020 – Another Ball, a Port Charles Anniversary, Jax’s Reunion Show, What Eddie Cares About, Girlfriends & Knowing


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s GH was a Nurse’s Ball flashback from May 25th, 2017. Jake was a magician, Burt’s Bees got the plugs, and old Nina worked the red carpet with Mario Lopez. She also posed with Charlotte, even though she was in the midst of one of her many estrangements from Valentin. Ava made a big donation, and Scotty figured she was trying to buy her way out of her guilt over Morgan. Sonny was still trying to figure out what had happened with Morgan, and refused to go to the Nurse’s Ball, instead working with Brick to uncover the truth. Ava told Scotty that Lucy had put the squeeze on her for her hefty donation in exchange for keeping silent about Morgan’s pills, and Scotty talked Ava into leaving Morgan’s name out of the donation, telling her that Sonny and Carly didn’t need an extra reminder. Brick told Sonny, the only way Morgan could have spiraled so far out of control was if he’d had no lithium at all, and he and Sonny finally connected the dots to Ava. Sam was still with Drew, who still thought he was Jason. Emma and Charlotte signed on to be Jake’s assistants, and unbeknownst to Jake, Helena was in his head, and had planned for his magic act to literally bomb. Drew found the Kamir necklace, and Sonny decided to show up. To be continued…

🧛‍♂️ When Vampires Ruled the Daytime…

It’s the anniversary of GH’s otherworldly spin-off.


Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part One (@home)

Because life isn’t depressing enough. Although LVP telling Jax to STFU will make it all worth it.

Andy thinks social distancing won’t stop everyone from getting in each other’s faces. We get caught up on what’s been happening with everyone, and Lisa says the pandemic has been emotionally and financially challenging for the restaurants. Stassi and Beau have moved into a new house, and Stassi likes having a view and space to get away from Beau. Andy thanks Jax for letting them be on his show, and thinks they should call it, Jax and Friends. Jax says people say stupid things in anger, but Lisa believes he actually thought it was his show. Dayna is now bartending at TomTom while serving at SUR, and Scheana is quarantining with new love Brock, who looks like he could be related to Jason Momoa. Charli says she’s tried pasta – at Olive Garden – which means she still hasn’t tried pasta.

We go back over Stassi’s book signing party, Tom’s rage texts, and the in person rage that followed. Tom says he was in a bad space and stressed out. I have to add that he looks like Satan with his new facial hair. Max is in the hot seat next, and gripes about how he didn’t like everyone being in his business. We flash back to him telling Dayna that he was interested in her, and Dayna points out that he was keeping Scheana on the back burner. Dayna understands why women are into Max, but lists all the women he’s played with the same line. Max says he hung out with Scheana for two weeks, and she ran with her emotions. Scheana begs to differ on the time frame, and Dayna says, what was between them felt unfinished. Andy asks if there’s anyone else Max wants to confess to messing around with, and we find out he slept with Kristen – twice. Stassi is shook, since Kristen and Dayna were supposedly friends, but Kristen pleads ignorance. James isn’t surprised, and Kristen tells him that he’s lucky he’s on the effin’ show. Which is pretty funny, considering she’s the only one who has no connection to Lisa whatsoever. Stassi says, it’s on brand for Kristen to be shady and have no remorse. There’s a lot of squawking about who is whose friend, ending with James calling Kristen a POS.

Andy asks Dayna how welcoming the group was, and she says TomTom wasn’t bad, but SUR was another story. Stassi says, it’s a right of passage to be bullied at SUR. Jax makes excuses for being jealous of just about everybody. Charli calls Jax a bully, but says she can give two sh*ts about what this fifty year old man thinks. Lala says Charli has to earn respect, but Charli says, she is who she is, and doesn’t give a flying who likes her. Alrighty then.

We go down costume Memory Lane with the guys being made up as old people; Brittany’s tacky wedding dress party; Jax and Brittany’s wedding, with what Tom dubbed, the bizarro characters of Vegas; Tom’s extra themed birthday party; and Jax’s costume birthday party. Andy asks if Jax only likes dressing up if he’s the guest of honor, and Jax says he was pressured by everyone, but Brittany bought the costume and he was humoring her. Everybody takes a break to make fun of Jax’s facial hair, which Stassi thinks looks like Wolverine. Beau says he expresses his inner feminism every Halloween, when he dresses as a woman. Andy asks if Scheana had the dominatrix outfit, which she did, except for the whip, which belonged to Tom. Andy asks if Lala still dresses up for Randal, but she says she’s boring since they got engaged. He asks about Raquel’s ideal costume, and she says she had fairy garden parties growing up, so that would be it. Kristen says Tom has more costumes than actual clothing.

Andy brings up Schwartz losing the marriage license again, and Lisa says it’s her eternal frustration with him. Andy says he wants to address a less happy moment, and we revisit Tom’s fake arrest, and how Schwartz talked to Katie when she voiced her objection. Schwartz says Randall put so much time and effort into the prank, he lost it. Lala says, speak to Katie again that way, and she’ll throw down on his ass. Lisa says it wasn’t like it was just a difference of opinion; it was personal, and he was putting Katie down. Katie says, it wasn’t the first time, and Schwartz jokes that you have to tear the other person down in the beginning of a relationship. That way, when they get a compliment, it’s more meaningful. At least I think he was joking.

Andy moves on to Jax saying Ariana should figure out her sexuality, since it’s ever-changing. Jax says he knew this was coming, and it was just garbage coming out of his mouth; he didn’t mean it. Andy asks what he doesn’t understand, and does it bother him? but Jax says it’s Ariana that bothers him. Ariana says she’s never flip-flopped about who she is, and it’s fun that it bothers him. Jax says they’ve never gotten along, and Scheana says Jax’s behavior isn’t cool; it’s disrespectful to the show. Andy says Lala got heat on social media for not defending Ariana, and Lala says, she wasn’t okay with it, but she feels once she became friends with everyone else, Ariana didn’t care as much about her. Ariana says Lala didn’t invite her on vacations with the others, and it felt like she was the one pulling away. Tom thinks if everyone is mad at him and Ariana, Lala distances herself. Lala says no way their issues with others affect her feelings for them. She didn’t like what Ariana had said behind her back about toughening up after her father’s death. We flash back to Ariana telling some of the group that Lala wants to be tiptoed around, and needs to toughen up. Lala says she carried that comment with her, and never got an apology. Ariana tells Lala, when she said it, she was bitter from her own experience because she wasn’t babied when her father died. Lala says the apology means a lot.

At one point, during a break, Andy says, no gloves or anything, to Lisa. She thinks, as do I, that he’s referring to how she’s dressed, and we both wonder, WTF? since she’s never worn gloves. But he’s referring to whoever’s touching up her hair. Pandora waves to the camera.

Andy says, Jax and Tom have been friends for nearly twenty years, but almost came to blows again and again this season, and we flash back to all of that. Jax’s complaints about Tom not being the best best man, Tom confronting Jax about the pastor issue, Tom being disinvited to the wedding, and then re-invited. Lala looks sad watching it. We see a clip of Jax’s interview where he said it’s easier to shut everyone up by allowing Tom to be at the wedding, even though he’s not over it. Andy asks why Jax was so mad that Tom chose seeing his family over going to one of Jax’s three bachelor parties? Jax says he knows Tom doesn’t text back, but there was no communication. Ariana says it was on the show where Tom pointed out he’d texted Jax, and Jax responded. Yep. There it is. We see it. Are the Betches right? Is Jax a cokehead? Andy asks why Tom didn’t go to Jax sooner about the pastor, and Tom says he thought something had been done, and wanted to find out why it hadn’t happened. Jax says instead of doing it privately, Tom blindsided him at the party. Ariana insists Tom did try to take him to the side. Since I can’t even force my own self to side with Jax on anything, I’ll say I’m siding with Brittany on this one. Tom picked the wrong time and place. Schwartz says Tom was perceived as being smug or righteous, And Jax wonders why they don’t understand. Ariana wonders why Jax didn’t address it sooner. Jax says he was Brittany’s pastor (which I can also believe as a reason – it’s the one part of the wedding Jax couldn’t have cared less about). He asks why Tom didn’t jump on his employee Max’s racial tweets; apparently Tom didn’t care about that, and Jax hopes he reacted the same way. Ariana says he did, and Lisa tells Jax, shut up. At 5% ownership, Tom doesn’t have the right to terminate an employee, and if she’d terminated them for every mistake, none of them would have jobs. Andy asks what Max has to say, and Max says he apologizes. He’s an adult now, and cringe thinking about the things he said almost ten years ago. Lisa says Max comes from a diverse family, and asks how they felt. Max says they live in a generation where saying certain things is frowned upon, even if you’re part of that people. There’s no excuse. Brett – who had a similar issue with his old tweets – asks if it wasn’t okay then or now, and Max says, it’s just dumb, and he’s doing his best to move forward. Lisa says she’s never seen any inkling of anything that would make her believe that’s how they think. If there had been, they wouldn’t be working for her. I did read an article about it at the time, but I honestly don’t remember the details. It did sound like stupid stuff kids will say because they think it’s cool.

Andy moves back to Jax and Tom, and Andy asks if Stassi thought Jax and Brittany were clueless about the pastor’s posts. Stassi says she thought Tom sounded like he was questioning their motives. It’s not something a best friend would do. She thinks Jax and Brittany weren’t paying attention carefully, and have the habit of sticking their heads in the sand. Scheana says she thought Tom was looking out for Jax, since Tom is the most amazing friend ever to her. Stassi says she’s said that about a dozen guys, and Scheana ignores that, and says Tom was trying to get them to nip it in the bud before the public started talking about it. Brittany says it was the hardest time she’s had to go through, and Jax dramatically says, because of them, pointing at Ariana and Tom. Brittany says, it’s not just because of them, and Jax tries to say more, but she tells him, let her talk. She says she didn’t see more than one tweet, and she texted the pastor, telling him that if he’s homophobic, that wasn’t acceptable. He promised he wasn’t that way, but as soon as Lisa called, she cried her eyes out. Lisa agrees that from Brittany’s reaction, she was blindsided, and believes what Brittany is telling her. Jax says he even texted Andy. Schwartz thinks Tom and Jax push each other’s buttons, and Tom goes on a tirade about what a great friend he’s been to Jax, and how he’s had no one – friend or foe – that’s done more things to him than Jax. Jax says Tom still wanted to come to the wedding, and Tom says he had a million restrictions. Jax says he didn’t want tom there; everyone talked him into it. Tom says Jax expected his mom to hit him up after the things he’d said about her. Lala says, don’t mention parents. They don’t want a repeat of last year. Jax says Tom is an awful person, and he doesn’t know Jax’s mom or the situation. Lisa tries to interject.

Next time – the Reunion – Part Two – what the cast is doing in quarantine, Max and Scheana Memory Lane, Kristen yells at James, and says, f*** everyone; I’m gone. SMH.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Esperanza sees a van go past, her kidnapped daughter inside screaming.

Bennett tries get Tanya to come back to the house. Randal says, she needs to get to a hospital, but Bennett says he didn’t ask Randal for help. Lushion asks if Tanya is all right, and Bennett says he’s never seen her this bad. Lushion suggests calling an ambulance, and Randal says, great idea. Lushion tells him, go back in his house, but Randal says, you’re not the boss of me. Brad and Marcie come out, and Natalie asks if there’s anything they can do. Bennett shakes his head, and Lushion says, give her space. Randal says he doesn’t want to do that. They know he can help. It’s really bad. Bennett asks for water, and Kelly goes to get it. Marcie asks, what’s wrong? and Natalie says Tanya had a breakdown. Randal says, like Marcie had, and Marcie says, that’s not funny. Natalie says Randal is the only crazy one around there, and Randal says, it’s Lushion, for marrying her dumb ass. He starts singing (either a spiritual or something by Fats Waller – I can’t tell), and I ask Randal, what’s wrong with you? out loud. Bennett punches Randal out, and goes back to Tanya, trying to give her some water.

Esperanza calls Steven, and says, Mica’s gone. He asks, where? but she doesn’t know. She couldn’t find her, and went outside. She saw a van. He says he’ll be right there, and she tells him, hurry up. Steven blows past Eddie, who asks if Steven is tired of looking at him, but Steven just keeps moving. Esperanza paces, and calls Eddie. She asks if he has Mica, and he asks, why? She says, now is not the time, and he says he doesn’t have her. She says he’d better not be playing games, and he asks what the hell she’s talking about. Mica is supposed to be with her. Tell him now where she is. Esperanza says, she’s gone. He asks where Mica is, and she says, if he’s playing games, he’ll never see his daughter again. He says, he’s not, and asks where his little girl is. He says Esperanza is so stupid, and he’ll be right there. He gets his stuff together, mumbling, great. The bitch has one job, and can’t do it. He gets to the door, and Larry says, going somewhere? Eddie says, go to hell, and Larry says, before he goes. Does Eddie still not care about anything? Eddie asks what the hell Larry is saying. Larry says he asked a question. Does Eddie care about anything? Eddie says he’ll kill Larry; understand? Larry believes it’s called harassment, and Eddie says, it might be, but if he finds out Larry has done anything, he’ll personally put Larry’s ass in the ground. Larry says he has no idea what Eddie is talking about, and Eddie grabs Larry by his collar and lifts him up. Larry says Eddie is assaulting him, and Eddie says, it’s just a warm up. If his daughter isn’t at his ex’s by the time he gets there, it’s going to be real. Larry says Eddie knows his address. Don’t forget his money. Eddie drops him, says, bring it on, and leaves. Larry says, should be fun, and follows Eddie out.

An ambulance pulls up, and the EMTs go toward Randal, who’s lying on a lawn. Natalie says, not him; he’s drunk. It’s her. She points to Tanya. Bennett says, she has a mental illness. She can’t talk, and won’t let anyone touch her. An EMT asks if it’s happened before, and Bennett says, not like this. The EMT asks if they can take her, and Bennett says he knows they have to. He asks who Bennett is, and Bennett says, her husband. The EMT asks if he’s giving them permission to take her, and Bennett says, yes, and Tanya immediately starts fighting with them. Bennett says, it’s for her own good. He’s sorry. The EMTs put her in the ambulance, and I’m surprised they’re not restraining her first. One of them tells Bennett where they’re going, and says, sorry Bennett can’t come. They drive off, and Natalie says she’s so sorry. Lushion asks if there’s anything they can do, and Bennett says, no, thanking Lushion for helping. Lushion says he’ll be right back, and tells Natalie to stay. Marcie says she feel bad; Bennett seems like a nice guy. Kelly says she’s just meeting the new neighbors, and Marcie says, she’s out; congratulations. Kelly says, thanks, but she shouldn’t be congratulated, since a man is dead. She introduces Tyrell, and I say, welcome to the neighborhood. Kelly asks what Marcie is doing there, and Marcie says she’s helping Brad with the kids. Kelly asks where Alex is, and Marcie says, she walked out on them. Kelly says, that’s horrible, and Marcie says she should get back. She goes inside, and Kelly says, hey, to Natalie. She thanks Natalie for taking such good care of Justice, and she wanted to apologize. She’s sure Eddie showed Natalie the video, but she’s not sleeping with Lushion. She wasn’t making a pass at him either; she was just happy. Natalie says, okay, and Kelly says, Lushion is a good man. Natalie says she knows that. Kelly says, Lushion fought for her, and Natalie says she knows that too. She asks if Kelly is ready to get her son, and Kelly tries talking to her. Natalie isn’t having it, and Kelly asks if it’s really going be like that. Natalie says she doesn’t want to deal with this sh*t. No more questions; just get her son. She leaves, and Kelly heads home. Tyrell asks if they’re just leaving Randal lying there like that, and no one says anything, so he goes too.

Tyrell tells Kelly, that’s cold; leaving Randal on the street. Kelly tells him, he’s just saying that because he doesn’t know Randal. He asks if she’s saying Randal’s not a good guy, and she says, not at all. He says he’s only seen that in the jail yard, and Kelly says Randal needs to be in someone’s jail. He says, there’s a lot of drama on the block, and she says if he’d rather not be there… He tells her, he’s not saying that, and she says she can arrange it, but he says he’s not complaining. He appreciates her letting him crash there. He just wants it to go back to like it used to be, when they were in love. She says, that was a long time ago, and he says, maybe it can be that way again. She says she doesn’t know about that. He says he learned a lot about time, and she says, the short time she spent in jail, she didn’t think she was going to make it. He says, it leaves you with nothing except time to reflect on yourself, and she says, it can be painful. He says they got a second chance, but she says she doesn’t know. Give her time; she’s mad right now, and she’s got to talk to Justice. He pouts, and she says she’s so sorry, and fake hugs him. He pushes her back, and says, don’t do that. He hasn’t been around her in a long time, and she knows how she gets him. She tells him, it’s time for him to go for that walk. He says that’s what he was doing, and she says, one hour.

Esperanza calls Natalie, and asks if Mica is there. Natalie says, no, and Esperanza says, she’s gone. Natalie asks, what happened? and Esperanza says they got in an argument, and now Mica is missing. Natalie says she’ll come over, but Esperanza tells her, stay there in case Mica decides to come to her house. Steven and Eddie are coming there. Natalie says, together? and Esperanza says, it’s okay. Steven arrives, and says, anything? Esperanza says, no. She called all of Mica’s friends and looked everywhere. Steven says, calm down. He has everyone at the station looking. It’s not her fault. She says, it is; Mica is her daughter. He says she has to calm down; he’s just trying to help. She says he’s not helping; where’s Eddie? Eddie comes in, yelling for Mica. He searches through the rooms, and Esperanza says she told him that Mica isn’t there. She asks if he’s sure he doesn’t have Mica. He’d be the one to pull some kind of bullsh*t. Eddie says if he had Mica, he wouldn’t be like this. He gets in her face, and she pushes him. He throws her on the couch, and he and Steven fight. Esperanza hits Eddie in the back with a book, and finally throws hot water on them from the coffee pot. She tells Eddie, get out; find her daughter. Eddie goes, mumbling that she burned him. Steven says she burned him too. Outside, Eddie calls Larry, and asks where he is. Larry says he’s in his office. Eddie says he’ll bring the money, and Larry says, all of it? Eddie says, yes, all of it, and Larry says he’d better have the money. Eddie says Larry’s ass had better be there. He gets in the car, and drives off.

Esperanza cries, and Steven asks if she’s okay. She says, now is not the time. The only thing that matters is her daughter. Her phone rings, and she says, it’s Mica. She says she’s sorry, and a man’s voice says Eddie owes them a lot of money. If she wants to see her daughter again, make sure he pays. She asks to talk to her daughter, but he hangs up. She tells Steven, Eddie owes people money. Steven says he’ll find Eddie; he promises. She says they’ll just fight, and it won’t do anything, but he says, now it’s a matter for the FBI. Moving forward, it’s all business. She has to trust him. She thanks him, and he promises he’ll be back.

Alex is in Lalaland, and Johnny asks if she’s good. She says, yeah, and watches a dude on the mechanical bull. She wiggles her fingers, and asks Johnny, what’s this? He says, her hand. It was good, huh? You’re loving this. I’d thought it was heroin, but Alex is acting like she’s on an acid trip. A guy named Guy comes in, and looks at Alex. He says, wow, and Johnny says, she’s not on the menu. Guy says, $300, but Johnny says, no. He can have any of them. Guy says he’s had all of them. He’ll give Johnny a thousand; two thousand. Johnny says, she’s a good girl. She’s just going through something. Guy asks how much his truckers spend there, and Johnny asks if he’s really doing this. Guy says, yes; he is. Johnny says, she’s too out of it, but Guy says he’ll be the judge of that. Johnny says, she’s a good girl, and Guy says he doesn’t give a damn. Three grand. Johnny says he can’t do it, and Guy says, four thousand and he’s out. Johnny takes something off the bar (I presume the money), and walks away. Guy snaps his fingers at Alex, and asks how she is. He suggests they take a little walk; he’ll help her. She says she needs Johnny; he’s her friend. Guy says he’s her new friend, and she asks where they’re going. He says she asks too many questions, and takes her outside. I feel disappointment in Johnny.

Tyrell goes to Leslie’s apartment, and rings the bell. She tells Tyrell, he ain’t getting none, and he says that’s not why he’s there. He says, Kelly… and she says, Kelly got rid of him too? She laughs, and he says Kelly is talking to their son. It’s about his son, and he just needed to take a walk and chill out. She says he’s not coming in. Show her some respect. He says he gets it, and she says, then bye. She asks how he got over there, and he says, don’t worry; he’s got it. She says he needs to worry about it in those slippers, and tells him, walk home.

Ian goes out to the street, and Marcie sees him. He looks at Randal, and asks, what the hell happened? She says Randal got knocked out; he’ll be fine. He asks if Brad is home, and she says, he’s upstairs with the kids. He guesses Alex isn’t back, and she says she doesn’t think Alex is going to be back. Brad comes out, and asks what Ian wants. Ian gives him a DNA sample, and Brad asks if he’s questioning. Ian says he just wants answers, and Brad says he’ll get right on it. Marcie thinks Ian should see the baby, and Ian asks Brad if he can. Brad says, sure, and they go inside. The baby is in the living room in his car seat, and Marcie says the baby looks like Ian. Ian says, it’s crazy, and Brad says that’s what happens when you have sex with a married woman. (News flash for Brad: it can happen with any woman.) Ian says, it’s not like that. He didn’t know Alex was married. She said her name was Jennifer. Brad says they hooked up in the middle of the day at the Maxine hotel. Marcie says she believes Ian, and tells Brad, lay off. Brad guesses she believes Alex too, and she says, no. Brad says he doesn’t believe either one of them. Marcie tells Ian that she’s sorry, but he says, don’t worry about it. He tells Brad that he can swab the baby, and have the results back in a day. Brad agrees, and Ian swabs the baby, then puts the swab in a container.

Outside, Larry pulls up, and sees Randal on the lawn. He tells Randal, wake up, and asks if he’s all right. I was hoping Randal was dead, but he’s not, and he asks where he is. Larry says, in somebody’s yard. Randal complains that his jaw hurts, and Larry asks, what happened? Randal says, go to hell (quickly becoming the standard greeting to Larry), and Larry says, there’s the Randal he knows and loves. Randal says, he hit me; the tall a-hole from across the street. He starts to head toward the street, saying, he’s going to beat his ass, but Larry says Randal can hardly walk. Randal says his head is spinning, and Larry suggests he help Randal inside. Randal says the whole neighborhood was looking at him. He wants Larry to sue Bennett’s ass; take everything he has. Larry says he gets it, and tells Randal, sit. He sees the graffitied wall, and asks, what the hell happened here? Randal says, he did it, and Larry says, the son of a bitch who hit him? Randal says, yes, and Larry asks, why exactly? What did he do? Randal says he didn’t do anything, but Larry doesn’t believe it. Randal tells him, check the tape, but Larry says he doesn’t believe Randal did nothing. Is he sleeping with the guy’s wife? Randal says, no, and Larry asks if he’s sleeping with the guy. He did something. Randal asks why the hell Larry is there, and Larry says he came to celebrate. Eddie, their cop friend, took money that belonged to bad people, and they’re not happy, so Larry took something special from Eddie. Does Randal want a drink? Randal wants Larry to sue Bennett, and Larry says, one problem at a time. Eddie is his top priority. They’re going to be very happy very soon. Randal says he needs some ice.

There’s a knock at Natalie’s door, and Lushion answers. it’s Kelly, who asks where Justice is. Justice comes out, and runs to Kelly, who hugs him tight. He says he missed her, and asks if she has to go back. She says she doesn’t, and he says he loves her so much. He’s glad she’s out, and asks if they can go home now. She tells him to get his stuff, and reminds him to thank Mr. Lushion and Miss Natalie. He does, and runs to the bedroom. Kelly thanks them too, stopping short of hugging them. Kelly leaves with Justice, and Lushion tells Natalie that she can’t be like that. She says she can’t ask him questions, but she and Kelly have something to talk about. She’ll do that when she calms down. He tells her, do that, and goes to bed. Natalie cleans up.

Kelly and Justice go back to their house, and Kelly asks how it’s been. Justice says, not good. He got in another fight; they were talking about her, and he won’t let them. She understands, but says he can’t resort to violence. He says she killed Travis, and she says she knows that, and it was completely wrong. Justice says, Travis was trying to hurt her, and she says that doesn’t mean she can hurt him. She taught Justice better. He says she didn’t do better, and she says he’s right; she should have been a better example. She’s sorry. He says he is too. Can they forget about it, and move on? She says, if he promises no more fighting. He promises, and there’s a knock at the door. Kelly tells Justice that she’s on it, and goes out to find Tyrell on the porch. He asks if it’s time, and she says she told him an hour; this is not a good time. She hasn’t told Justice yet. He says it won’t make any sense if he’s staying there, and she says she knows what best for her son. Tyrell says  he’s still Justice’s father, but Kelly says Justice has been through a lot. Can’t he stay at his mother’s for a night? He says he can’t. If he had money, he’d stay in a hotel. She says she doesn’t have any money; she’s still fixing her credit from Travis. He says he’s not asking her for money, and she asks if he can stay with Leslie, but he says he can’t. He’ll give Kelly some time. She thanks him, and goes back in. She tells Justice, it’s just someone she knows. She suggests he shower, and they’ll try to get their life back to normal.

Ian sees Larry, and says, ah-ha, the traitor, but Larry says, that would be Ian. How’s he doing? Ian says he’s filing his lawsuit, and Larry says he’ll keep eye out for it. Ian says, before he does, Larry should read Ian’s report; the one he’s sending to the Florida city and state Attorney. He’s got Larry. Larry says Ian should think about what doing. Ian repeats that he has Larry, and Larry laughs strangely, and leaves.

Kelly messes with a lamp, and Tyrell comes back. He says he tried. She says she knows, and calls Justice out. Justice asks, what’s up? and Tyrell says he’s tall. How’s he doing? Justice asks, who is this? and Kelly says, this is your father. Poor kid. It’s been a lot for him. Justice tells her, he thought she said… She says she did, but this is his father. Tyrrell asks how he is, and Justice says, confused. Tyrell and I laugh, and Tyrell says he’s been away. Justice asks, where? and Tyrell says he’s been to jail. Justice rolls his eyes, and Tyrell says his mother thought it best for him not to know. Kelly says she just wanted to wait until Justice was older, but with everything going on, she wanted him to know everything. How does he feel? Justice tells her, like he said, confused. He thinks he’s getting a headache, and asks if there’s anything Tyrell wants to say. Tyrell says there’s a lot he wants to say to Justice; he loves him. Justice says, he loves Tyrell too? but Tyrell says Justice doesn’t have to say that. Justice says he knows, and Tyrell says Justice doesn’t know him, but if Justice lets him, he’d like to take the time to get to know Justice. Justice says his mom has his schedule. Tyrell could stop by from time to time. Kelly says Tyrell needed a place to stay, and Justice says, it’s too much. He’s going to bed. He leaves, and Kelly says she told Tyrell it would be too much, but whatever. He says he’s sorry, and she tells him the blankets are in the closet, and he can sleep on the sofa. She’s locking her door. He says, fair enough.

Eddie waits in a parking garage. Larry walks through on the phone, telling someone that Eddie said he’d bring the money. When he told Eddie who he was dealing with, Eddie didn’t believe him. Larry unlocks the trunk of his car, and Eddie starts his car. Larry turns around, and asks if Eddie is insane. Eddie slams into Larry, pinning him in between the cars.

Next time – two more episodes – Guy tells Alex that it’s going to happen, Esperanza confesses to Natalie about hitting Mica, Randal grabs Marcie and drags her into her apartment, and Larry refuses to talk.

🛎 Leaving the TV on OWN, I caught the upbeat Girlfriends Check In – which is exactly what it sounds like, some girlfriends virtually checking in with each other. The ringleader is Carla Hall, and joining her are Kim Fields (who looks fabulous!), Anika Noni Rose, and Lisa Silvera. Tonight, the girlfriends talked air fryers and made hummus, but there’s more to the show than cooking, and IMO, it’s just what we need right now. There will also be guests along the way. You can read about it here:


🧭 Another Tuesday Bites the Dust…

And here we are again, at mid-week, day 3,465,119 of quarantine, moving into phase 412 of reopening the states. You guessed it. It’s late and I’m punch-drunk. So stay safe, stay supportive of justice, and stay using common sense.

May 26, 2020 – A Ball To Remember, VanderSecrets, What Eddie Cares About, Daytime Emmy News, Virtually NYC & Fire


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Today’s GH was a continuation of the 2014 Nurse’s Ball (specifically, May 9, 2014). Spencer was still practically an infant, Starr was still Kiki, Eddie Maine sang Meatloaf’s You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth, and fake Luke sang I Am What I Am from La Cage aux Folles (one of my favorite songs ever). Fake Luke also asked Tracy to marry him right then and there, and Lucy was happy to officiate. Elizabeth caught the bouquet. They wrapped it up with Magic Milo and his Magic Wands dancing to AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long, ending the song with Nurse’s Ball spelled out on their backsides.

Eddie rocks


Thoughts at the time.


What’s happening this week.


🍸 Tonight’s Vanderpump Rules was a Secrets Revealed special. Hint: there were no secrets. It was basically extended scenes from this season’s episodes, given a boost with interjected videos of the cast in quarantine. Poor Lisa. She’s thinking of bringing the ponies inside. Next week: the Reunion, Part One.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Natalie listens at Kelly’s bedroom door, and hears muffled noises. She bursts in, saying, you MF’ers! and is surprised to see Tyrell and Pat in the bed. Natalie scrambles back out, as Lushion and Kelly are coming in the back door. Lushion asks, what’s wrong? Why is she stuttering? She says she’s been calling him, and he says they’ll talk. He wonders what the noise is, but goes to the living room with Natalie. Kelly investigates, and asks, what the hell is going on? Tyrell, who’s putting on his clothes at this point, says he was… and Kelly says, just leaving. It’s too much. He asks if she’s putting him out, and she says, hell yeah. She asks who Pat is, and Tyrell says, a friend; sorry. She tells them to get their asses out.

Kelly goes into the living room, and says, damn. Lushion asks, what’s going on? and Kelly asks where Natalie is. He says, she’s at the house, and Kelly asks if they can keep Justice a while longer so she can handle this. He says, handle what? and she says, this. Tyrell and Pat come out, and Lushion says, ohh. Pat leaves, and Lushion isn’t far behind. Tyrell says, hey, and Kelly asks why Pat was in the house. He says he and Kelly aren’t together; what’s her problem? She says, seriously? No part of his brain gets it? He just got out of jail, came to her house, and brings a trick to her bed. She asks who it was, and he says, a friend from back in the day. She asks, how far back? Is it Leslie? This totally confuses me, since I swear it was Nurse Pat. Tyrell says, it was nine years ago, and Kelly says, she’s clearly let herself go. He says he’s glad Kelly is out, and Kelly says she is too. He asks how it worked out, and she tells him, the DA dropped the charges. He says he doesn’t have anywhere to go, and can he please stay there. She says, it’s a lot, but let her talk to Justice first. He wants to see Justice, and she tells him, go for a walk. Give her a couple of hours, and let her talk to him. And wash her damn sheets. She wants no trace of that bitch in her house; not a thread of her damn weave. She’s going to take a shower, and he needs to do the same. He asks if she’s saying she wants to… and she says, please. He says he was just asking. It’s good to see her. She says she’ll figure out how good it is to see him when she calms down. He tells her that Natalie attacked them when she came in, and Kelly says, that’s not good. He asks, why not?

Alone in the bathroom, Kelly gets out her phone.

Natalie tells Lushion, he got a text, and hands him his phone. He asks how Natalie is, and she says, good. He tells her something smells good, and she says, it’s the pork chops. He asks if she wants to tell him why she was calling, and she says, Eddie. He was in the house. He just walked in. Lushion says, bastard, and she says, is he? He says Eddie showed her the video, and she says he did. Lushion says Kelly kissed him. She said she was just excited, and he made it clear there was nothing on his end. Natalie asks if there was something on Kelly’s end, but he says she was just happy. Natalie says, and she just happened to kiss him? Why did she text? Lushion says Kelly thought Natalie believed Tyrell and the girl were them. Natalie asks to see it, and Lushion says, no; he’s not going to do that. They’ve been through this about her questioning his love and commitment. Eddie happened to be there, trying to make something of it. She asks if she’s not allowed to have questions, and he says, not when comes to trusting him. She asks if he thinks that’s fair, and he says, yes. Because he knows what kind of man he is, and so does she. She wonders if she can ask one question, but he says, not when it comes to that. She says she’ll just ask Kelly, and he says, go ahead. Lushion types, and she asks if he’s texting Kelly. He says, maybe; maybe not. Let him know when dinner ready. He starts out the door, and she mumbles, a-hole. He says he heard that.

On the porch, Lushion calls Eddie. He asks if Eddie thinks he did something to bring Lushion’s ass down, and Eddie asks how Natalie is. Lushion says, fine. Keep pushing. Bennett drives up, and asks how Lushion is. Lushion says he’s good, and asks how Tanya is. Bennett says, as well as can be expected, and Lushion says he’s sorry. Randal keeps pestering everyone in the neighborhood, so just be aware. He asks why Lushion keeps dropping by Randal’s house, and Lushion says, it’s in his nature; it’s his job. if Bennett sees anything, let him know. Bennett says he has to be careful, or Tanya will think he’s checking on her. Lushion gets it, but he’ll let Randal know that Bennett might do a random stop-by. Bennett says he tried to file a police report on Randal, but he ran into Eddie. Lushion says Eddie is a bit crazy, and asks how it went. Bennett says he didn’t end up doing it, and Lushion says he can help. He tells Bennett to come by tomorrow, and thanks him for being one of the good guys. Bennett says Lushion is too, and drives off.

Ian approaches Lushion, and Lushion says Ian did a great job for Kelly. He wasn’t sure he could trust him. Ian says he told Lushion he could. He tells Lushion that Larry called Carl into his office and offered him a job. Lushion asks what Carl did, and Ian says, the kid held his own. He told Larry, no. Then Larry tricked Ian, and got his phone at the same time Carl was calling, and Ian got fired. Lushion says he’s sorry, but Ian says, it was worth it. He needs to start his own practice anyway… right after he sues Larry. Larry will settle because Ian knows where the bodies are buried. He asks if Lushion has seen Alex, and Lushion says, no; why? Ian says he needs to talk to her. It might be a long shot, but he slept with her around the same time she got pregnant. Lushion says, and he wants to know if the baby is his. Ian says, they met on a dating app, but she slept with a lot of guys. Who knows? Lushion says, just when you think you know someone. It’s crazy as hell. Ian says he’ll talk to Alex later, and Lushion says, sorry about his job. Ian says, it’s all good, and walks back home.

Randal looks on his laptop at a video of Bennett trashing Randal’s house. He says Bennett thinks he’s playing, but he’s got him. He takes the laptop, and heads over to Bennett’s house, where Tanya is painting. He comes up to the window next to her, and she asks what the hell he’s doing. He says he wants to show her something, and she tells him, get away. He shows her the video, and says, that’s her husband. In his house. Tearing it apart. She says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and closes the window. Randal yells, open the door, but she won’t, so Randal just walks in. Since no one ever locks their doors in Maxine. He says he’s calling the cops, and she says, please don’t. She needs Bennett. Randal asks, why? and she says Bennett is sorry; he’s just trying to protect her. She told him Randal was looking at her. She says, it’s too stressful, and he says, what’s stressful? He keeps asking, and she says Randal can’t send Bennett to jail. He asks if Bennett is a good guy, and she nods. He says he is going to send Bennett to jail, and she says she can’t breathe. She starts to scream, and Randal smiles. He says, there’s my girl, and she says it’s all her fault. He takes her medication off the coffee table, and switches it with something he brought with him. He tells her, relax; this will make her feel better. He promises it will help. She takes one, and he says he won’t send Bennett to jail. He wants her to rest. She grabs him, and he says, let him go. She keeps asking him to promise, and he gives her another pill, saying, trust him. Randal tells her that if she tells Bennett about this, he will send Bennett to jail. The pills should be kicking in any moment. He tells Tanya, she should probably have one more, and if she’s more anxious, take another one. He leaves, saying, sleep well.

Marcie watches from Brad’s house, and says, what the hell are you up to?

Steven rigs up the bathroom door, and puts a caution wet floor sign outside. He wraps his hand using toilet paper (now more precious than gold), and Eddie comes out of stall. Eddie chatters on about nothing, and Steven stays silent. Eddie tries to open the bathroom door, and gets shocked. He asks what Steven did to the door; it turns him on. Steven suggests Eddie grab it again, and he does. Although it’s obviously painful, Eddie says it just gets him going. Does Steven want to play this game?  Steven says Eddie told his daughter lies about him and Esperanza. Eddie asks what the hell Steven wants to do about it, and Steven says, beat his ass. Eddie asks if Steven thinks so, and Steven says he knows so. Eddie takes out his gun, and asks if Steven’s got one, but Steven says he doesn’t need one. Eddie asks if Steven knows who the hell he’s talking to, and Steven asks how Eddie is going to explain this one. Eddie says he doesn’t need an explanation to put a bullet in Steven’s punk ass. Steven tells Eddie to get on the phone, call his daughter, and tell her that everything he’s said about her mother is a lie. Tell her that her mother is a wonderful person. Eddie says, that’s not going to happen, and Steven says he hoping Eddie would say that. An officer walks in, and asks, what’s going on? Steven says, nothing, and Eddie confirms, yeah, nothing. Steven says Eddie was just leaving, and Eddie says, yes, he was.

Larry is waiting for Eddie out in the hallway. Eddie asks what the hell Larry wants, and Larry says he wants the money Eddie owes him. Eddie says he blew it on cocaine. Larry says he’s beginning to get the impression Eddie doesn’t want to give it back. Eddie says he doesn’t, and Larry says, okay. He makes a call, and says, do it now. Eddie asks if that’s supposed to scare him, and Larry says, maybe a little. Eddie says, it doesn’t, and Larry asks if there’s anything Eddie cares about; anything he loves. Eddie says he loves him some Eddie. He’s beautiful. Larry says, yes, he is, and Eddie says Larry saw him naked; he’s a beast. Larry says, he is too. The type of beast who eats their own young. Eddie says Larry is a big pussy cat, and Larry asks if Eddie is sure there’s nothing he cares about. Eddie asks how many times Larry is going to ask. Larry walks away, and Eddie says, that guy is an a-hole.

Johnny rouses Alex, who asks if it’s closing time. He says they reopen at 9, and asks if she’s ready to go home. She stretches, and says, let’s go, but he says he means her home. She says she’s not going back there; she’s staying with him. He says, no. People come there, trying to run away from their lives. She tells him, don’t try to save her soul, but he says he’s trying to tell her the truth. He’s seen it all. You can try to drink your life away, and run away from it all, but when you wake up, the problems will still be there. Go home. She says her home is with him. He kisses her hand, and says she’s sweet, but he’s only known her for a couple of hours. She asks if he doesn’t think she’s sexy; she’s had three kids. He says she’s incredible, and Alex says, so don’t throw her away. Johnny says she just met him. Give herself a chance to sober up, and then come back. She says she’s perfectly sober. She touches her nose, and says, come on, but he shakes his head, and says, go home. She says, please. She needs something. Give her a little something. She just wants a little escape. She can’t go back to that life. He asks if she really wants to escape, and takes a packet of white powder out of his pocket. He says, something to help her escape. She says she doesn’t know if she can do that. Does he do it? He says, from time to time; it’s no big deal. She says, okay, and rolls up her sleeve. She says, if she does it, can she stay with him? He says, forever, and she says she wants it. He says, she’s about to get it.

Marcie cleans up after dinner. Brad says, it was good, and she says he sounds surprised. He says, know what else? It was good how good the kids were. She says, they didn’t seem bothered, and he says he still has to watch them closely. She says he did a good job raising them, but he says, Alex did most of the work. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s fine. He has to be. She says, he has her; he doesn’t have to do this alone. He says she hasn’t accepted his proposal, and she says, with all he’s going through, does he really want to talk about that? He says she means that much to him, but she thinks they should take it slow. She kisses him, and says she’s checking on the baby. She goes upstairs, and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Ian.

Brad asks what he can do for Ian, and Ian asks if Alex is there. He’d like to talk to her. Brad asks, what about? and Ian says, the divorce. Brad says, it’s done, but Ian says she still has papers to sign. Marcie comes back, and Brad says Ian is there to see Alex. Marcie says Alex isn’t there; she left Brad with the kids. Ian asks if they know where she went, and Brad says, probably with one of the many guys she’s been dating. Ian asks if she took the baby, and Marcie says she left all the kids with Brad. Brad asks, why? and Ian says he’s just asking. Marcie asks, what’s going on? and Ian says, nothing; he’ll come back. Brad says he thought Ian looked familiar. He shows him the laptop, with a page from Alex’s dating site on the screem. Brad reads, meet me at the Maxine hotel for lunch. How big is he? Marcie is like, Brad… and Ian says, just tell her that he wants to talk to her. Brad says the date is around the same time Alex got pregnant, and he’s pretty good at math. Is that why Ian is there? Does he think the baby is his? If he does, Brad wants a DNA result. Ian says, just tell her that he wants to talk to her, and Brad suggests he call her. Ian says, he’ll do that, and leaves. Brad says, do you believe that? and Marcie says she’s starting to believe anything about Alex. Ian does kind of look like the baby. Brad says, unbelievable. He’s going to help the kids finish their homework. He wants her to sleep upstairs, but Marcie says she’s not going into her room. She asks if Brad remembers the window that looks out to the other house, and Brad asks if she wants to have sex like wild animals. Does she think he’ll see? She says, he will.

Tyrell tells Kelly that she looks beautiful. She says she just got out of jail, and he says, so did he. She says she just wanted to clean up for Justice. She suggests Tyrell go on that walk, and he tells her again that she’s beautiful. She asks if he thought they were going to pick up where they left off. He says that’s not what he was thinking. He needs to get on his feet, and get out of there. She says, good plan; let’s work on that. In the meantime, go for a walk. Tanya walks into the house, and sits in between Kelly and Tyrell on the couch. Kelly says, what the hell? Who is she? Tyrell says he doesn’t know, and Kelly asks if it’s another ho. He says he doesn’t know her, and Tanya says, don’t talk to her or touch her. Kelly asks who she is, and Tanya asks who Kelly is. Kelly says Tanya is in her house. Tanya says she doesn’t like her colors; her colors are angry. Kelly says she needs to leave, and Tanya says it’s pretty there. Tyrell says, she’s off, and Kelly asks her name. She says, Tanya, and Kelly asks if she lives around there. Tanya says, across the valley in the blue canyon. Tyrell says, there’s a blue house across the street, and Kelly tells Tanya that she can’t stay there. Walk back home. Tanya says, Kelly is so rude, and gets up and leaves. Kelly and Tyrell follow her outside, and see her meandering down the street, and swinging around a mailbox. Bennett runs up, and says he was looking for her. She says she doesn’t want to go inside, and he suggests they sit there. She plops herself of the curb, and he sits next to her. She tells him, shut up, but he says he’s not talking. He asks her to come in the house, and she asks what planet he’s from. Randal wanders over. Ugh.

Steven calls Esperanza, and asks if Mica is doing better. Esperanza says, no; she’s been locked in her room all day. He says he’s sorry, and asks if she’s talked to Eddie, but she says, not since she said what she had to say. He’s been quiet, which is really strange, but they don’t need him making things worse. She asks if Steven is okay, and he says he’s fine; why? She says the way Mica spoke to him… and he says she should hear what the kids say on the street. It’s nothing. She says he’s not dating their moms, and he says he’s fine. Go take care of her daughter. They’ll talk later. She notices a pause, and says he was going to say I love you. He tells her, get off his phone. She says she thinks he was, and he says, bye.

Esperanza goes to Mica’s room, and tells her, come on. She opens the door, but Mica isn’t in her room. Esperanza looks through the house, but still no Mica. She hears a scream, and runs outside, as a van carrying her daughter speeds past. She looks frantic.

Next time – three episodes left – Natalie tells Kelly that she doesn’t want to deal with this sh*t, Brad confronts Ian about Alex, Tyrell wants things to be the way they used to be with Kelly, Bennett punches Randal, and Eddie goes crazy.

🏆 Where’s Max…?

While I’m glad to see Jon Lindstrom has been nominated, WTF is Max Gail?




🗽 For Your Virtual Pleasure…

Hint: Snoop is involved.


🌆 Calling It a Night, Even Though It’s Morning…

It’s been a long day, and a long week already, so stay safe, stay in the groove, and stay being a light in a dark place.

May 19, 2020 – Waiting For Sonny’s Permission, VanderFinale, Don’t Knock & Buzzard Shower


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly, Michael, and Willow go to the MetroCourt. Michael wonders why Diane stayed behind, and Carly says she’s probably telling Nelle’s attorney to drop the suit, since Nelle married the least desirable man in Port Charles. Willow wonders why Nelle did it, but Carly says it’s not about what Nelle did wrong; it’s about what Michael and Willow are doing right for Wiley.

Sonny asks why Julian is throwing in with them, but Julian says he doesn’t answer to Sonny. He starts to go, but Sonny says Julian isn’t leaving; the conversation’s not over. Jason stands on Julian’s other side.

Nina finds Nelle at the Crimson office, and says she thought the custody hearing was today. Nelle says they’re on a break, and she stopped by to change. Long story. Nina goes into her office, and Nelle follows. Nelle says she also wanted to double-check on Nina testifying on her behalf. Nina says, the thing is… and Nelle says she’s fighting stay in her son’s life, and thought Nina would understand. Nina says she’s been thinking about the situation a lot, and reexamining her own. She’s going to find her child. She believes her daughter is alive. Nelle says she’s thrilled for Nina and her daughter. She knows Nina’s daughter will see Nina for who she is; the gold standard of moms.

On the phone at Charlie’s, Elizabeth tells Franco, sorry to be bailing, but she doesn’t think she’ll be able to see him before work. He says he’s had no chance to apologize properly. She says  he did; he apologized right away. He says, of course (🍷) he did, but he thinks this requires a bigger gesture. She says she’s over it. She had a nice talk with Nikolas, and he gave her perspective as to what art means to her, and the value of her work. Franco says, princely, but Elizabeth says, he’s just being a friend. He asks if Nikolas has found her sister, or is Hayden still in hiding? and she says she’ll see him later. They exchange I love yous. Scotty sees that Franco has a bouquet, and asks if the flowers are for him. He thinks Franco must have done something stupid, or said something stupid. Franco says he couldn’t make it up to Elizabeth, and Nikolas beat him to it. Scotty says, it figures.

Nikolas shows Mike pictures of Spencer, but gets no response. He asks if Mike remembers his grandson.

Franco asks what Scotty means by, it figures. Scotty says he thinks Nikolas would do better in cheering Elizabeth up. They have a history that goes way back to when they were kids. Franco asks if Scotty has a point, and Scotty says, it’s all about the time they’ve spent together. If Elizabeth gets confused about anything, and needs reassurance, she might turn to Nikolas if Franco botched it up. Franco says, it’s ancient history, and has no bearing on the present day, but Scotty says he wouldn’t trust Nikolas, especially when it comes to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth watches as Nikolas tells Mike, Spencer is in Europe. He’s quite a character; unforgettable, like Mike. Spencer has found a finely tuned sense of right and wrong, and to be honest, he was more flexible when he was younger. Nikolas might have questionable ethics, but Spencer is a good boy. He hopes Spencer comes back someday. He tells Mike, hang in there. In the hallway, Elizabeth says she overheard him with Mike, and he says he was hoping Spencer might spark something. It looks like the illness has taken its toll, but it was worth a try. She’s guessing Nikolas hasn’t heard from Spencer since his letter, and he says he couldn’t bring himself to tell her, since he knows she’s disappointed in him. She says it doesn’t matter how she feels, and he says, it matters more than she knows. He says he’s been working on the other piece of advice she gave him; that he look at the part of himself that was worthy of her friendship. She says she can tell, or he wouldn’t be there with Mike. He says he didn’t know she was going to be there, but she says she sees him trying to be a better person and reconnect, and she appreciates it.

Diane tells Carly, sorry for the delay, and Carly asks if there’s any chance Diane negotiated an out of court settlement. Diane says she let Alexis know that her sleazebag of an ex married Nelle. Nelle heard about Michael and Willow getting married, and wanted to level the playing field. Carly says, and she chose Julian? and Michael asks if it won’t hurt her case. Martin walks in, and tells them not to count their chickens before they hatch. Nelle and Julian are making a nest for Wiley, just like Michael and his newly wedded wife.

Sonny asks what Nelle has on Julian, and Julian says, not a damn thing. Sonny says, he loves her? and Julian says when he was Wiley’s grandfather, it brought Lucas back into his life. Sonny says he buys that Julian loves Wiley, but that doesn’t explain why he married Nelle. Julian says, Nelle loves Wiley in her own way. She came into his bar, ready to cause trouble, and they started to talk. One thing led to another, and they clicked. They decided to form a team to make a good home for Wiley. Sonny says, if it’s that simple, get rid of his wife. Annul the marriage now.

Nina asks when Nelle is due back in court, and Nelle says they’re on lunchbreak. She needed to change out of her wedding dress. Nina says, her what? and Nelle says, Michael married Willow to get a leg up in the custody case. She had to fight fire with fire. Nina asks who she married, and Nelle says Nina knows Julian, right? Nina says she does. He originally hired her to take over the magazine. She had no idea he and Nelle were in a relationship. Nelle says Nina knew Brad, and he used to be her friend. She thought they were friends anyway. Julian was Brad’s father-in-law when Brad stole her baby, and Julian thought Wiley was his grandson. Nina asks if they were dating, but Nelle says, that’s not what it was like. She was already a wreck when she found out Michael married Willow, so she went to Charlie’s to grab a glass of wine. She and Julian got to talking, and realized it would be absolutely terrible if Wiley wasn’t in their lives anymore. So they decided to get married. Nina says, so it’s a ploy to get custody of Wiley.

Diane tells Martin, she’s curious, and he says he’ll be happy to enlighten her if he can. She says Julian’s rap sheet is longer and more colorful than his client’s; why choose him? He says, love operates in mysterious ways. He’s sure Michael and his bride of less than 24 hours can attest to that. Willow says she and Michael were friends long before this, and have been taking care of Wiley his entire life. Diane says she has a photo gallery to back that up, and Michael says Willow went to jail to protect Wiley from Shiloh, the other psycho Nelle married. Carly says, Willow has proven she’ll do just about anything for Wiley, and Martin says, including marrying Michael himself. Like Michael isn’t the best catch in town.

Julian tells Sonny, he’s not annulling his marriage because Sonny said so. It might be difficult to grasp, but Sonny doesn’t get a say in his life. Sonny isn’t in his life period. Sonny says, if the game Julian is playing is to sway the judge to grant partial custody to Nelle, he’s going to hold Julian responsible. Julian asks if Sonny speaks for Jason too. He might not be Wiley’s grandfather, but he’s still Danny’s grandfather. Jason says, and? Julian says he’s just checking to see if it mattered. Sonny says Julian needs to do what needs to be done before it’s too late, and he and Jason leave.

Elizabeth tells Nikolas, Mike is like this a lot. Nikolas says he feels bad; he should have visited sooner. All the things he should have done; he has so many steps to go in the right direction. She says, for what it’s worth, she feels better about the art thing with Franco. He asks if they made up, and she says, kind of. Franco is super sorry. Not bad for someone who was once incapable of it. Franco reminds her of Ava. Nikolas says, touché. He asks if it doesn’t bother her that Ava is exploiting Franco’s past, and she says Ava and Franco have a history; why not exploit the past? If it goes well, they can start a new venture. Nikolas agrees, and she asks, what’s going on? His tone makes it sound like something is up. He says, he just senses Ava and Franco have been getting closer in their sessions.

Franco asks Scotty if he shouldn’t trust his wife, but Scotty says, no. Don’t trust Nikolas, especially where Elizabeth is concerned. Franco asks, why? Does he think Nikolas is going to try and win Elizabeth back? Scotty says he knows Elizabeth loves Franco. She worships him, and cherishes him. Franco says he senses a reversal is coming soon, and Scotty says, when Franco belittles and dismisses her about her art… Franco says, there it is, and Scotty says, what he’s telling Franco is to keep an eye on Nikolas. He motions Franco closer, and says, when it comes to Ava, Nikolas is in over his head. Ava will make him nuts, and when she does, he’ll go right to Elizabeth; his tried and true old relationship. Why? Who knows? Franco says, why wouldn’t he, right? Franco doesn’t care. It’s not going to lead to anything; they’re fine. And even if they’re not, she’s not going to fall for Nikolas’s smarmy Prince Charming act. Scotty says, it wouldn’t be the first time, and Franco says, even if she did, she wouldn’t do that to him. Scotty says Franco is right. He’s just saying that because it happened to him. When it came to Laura, who knew letting her work at a disco at night with her friend Luke would go wrong? Franco asks if Scotty is saying he shouldn’t trust his wife, and Scotty says, verify things.

Nikolas says he’s hanging onto hope that Spencer will forgive him, and Elizabeth suggests he do what Spencer asks – leave Ava. It’s 90% of his money, but… He says, the remaining 10% is earmarked for Spencer, and she says, there you go. He’ll have Spencer back in his life, sacrificing his money for his son. Sonny and Jason show up, and Nikolas says he finally got around to visiting Spencer’s grandfather. Jason goes in to see Mike, and Sonny tells Nikolas that he’s heard from Spencer. Nikolas asks how Spencer is doing, and Sonny says, he’s wondering why he hasn’t heard from Nikolas. He gave Nikolas an ultimatum; just cut Ava off. Why didn’t he? Nikolas says, it’s not as simple as it sounds. Sonny says Nikolas dug his own grave when he married Ava.

Martin says, if Nelle’s union is suspect, Michael’s is equally so. Perhaps more. Willow will do anything to stay close to Wiley. Willow says, what about Julian? He’s putting Wiley at risk, marrying a known sociopath who went to prison because she let her fiancé drown, and tried to kill her baby’s father. Martin says she’s throwing a lot of slander around, and she says take her to court. She’d love him getting an independent expert to prove her wrong. She bets he can’t find one. She wonders how he can even consider representing Nelle. He says, what a marvelous maternal temperature she has. Michael gets in between them, and says, it’s time to regroup. Willow leaves with Michael, and Carly tells Martin, Julian wouldn’t marry Nelle unless she had something on him. Everyone saw the look on his face; he’s miserable. Martin asks if it’s just him, or is the hypocrisy level staggering? Diane says, he took a big fat retainer to help Nelle use an innocent child. Martin asks how different Nelle is, hooking up with a humble pub owner in order to be closer to her son?

Nelle tells Nina, what she’s doing is no different than what Michael is doing, but Nina says he and Willow have a friendship and a deep bond, and Willow has a strong bond with Wiley. Nelle says, Willow isn’t his mother, and she has no right to him. Nina is out there looking for her daughter; she understands the connection of a mother to a child. Nina says, there’s no relationship where Julian is concerned. Nelle says, Wiley is a baby, and loves him, but Nina asks, what about the tension? Nelle says, there won’t be any. All that matters is Wiley will be with her and not Michael. Marriages like this happen all the time. Nina says she had a quickie marriage with one guy to spite another. Her husband was in cahoots with her mother, and they gaslighted Nina, and put her in an institution to steal her money. She doesn’t want any of that happen to Nelle. Nelle says, Julian would never do that, and Nina asks how she knows. Nelle says, if he did, it would seriously backfire, and Nina asks, what does that mean?

Sonny asks Jason how Mike seems, and Jason says, he’s sleeping. Elizabeth says, Mike’s caregivers said he might sleep fifteen or sixteen hours a day. Sonny goes into Mike’s room, and Jason asks Elizabeth, what’s really going on with Mike? Sonny tells Mike, it’s him. How about those Yankees? After he left, they won. Maybe Mike could bring some of that luck to Michael for his custody hearing today. Does Mike remember? A long time ago, they thought Michael’s son was dead, and when Mike met Wiley, Mike insisted he was Michael’s son. They thought he was confused, but it turns out he was right. Wiley is Michael’s son. Mike’s got to stick around. Does he want to do that? Sonny gets closer to Mike, but Mike only sort of looks at him.

Sonny tells Mike that Michael is fighting hard to bring Mike’s great-grandson home so he can share his life with him. The way Sonny couldn’t share his life with Mike. Sonny tears up, and says, when he brought Mike home from Brooklyn to Port Charles, he thought they would have a lot more time to spend to make up for the lost years. Come on. Doesn’t Mike want that?

Elizabeth tells Jason, she’s had experience with people like Mike; sleeping a lot, refusing to eat. Mike is done fighting, and wants to let go. She thinks he’s just holding on for Sonny’s sake.

Nina tells Nelle, she knows Julian presents himself as a changed man, but he was involved in organized crime. He’s a dangerous man. He’s only in it for himself. Nelle says Julian values his life too much not to play by her rules. Nina asks how Nelle got him to agree, and Nelle tells Nina, she’ll just say that Julian knows the marriage is best for everyone, especially Wiley.

Carly tells Martin, the difference between the couples is, Michael and Willow want a safe and happy environment for Wiley. Nelle just wants to use him, and kids sense these things. Diane says, Carly is right. Michael and Willow will give Wiley a stable, loving home. Everyone knows that, and so does he. Save the theatrics for the court before he runs out of hot air. He says their time is running tragically short; can he get an order to go? Carly says, why order when he can just go? and he asks if he can quote her in an online review. She says he wouldn’t be the first. Diane says, if he thinks Julian is a surprise witness for her, there are questions she’s been waiting to ask Julian under oath for years. For instance, does he love this wife as much as his previous one? Is Martin aware that Julian held a knife to his wife’s throat, and threatened to kill her because he loved her. If he does that to a wife he loves, imagine what he’ll do to one he’d rather not have.

Nikolas hits the bag at the boxing gym. Franco comes in, and Nikolas says, funny, running into him there. Franco asks if Nikolas doesn’t think it’s important for him to be strong, and Nikolas says, it’s not that. He just saw Elizabeth at Turning Woods. Franco asks how soon Elizabeth is going to forgive Nikolas, and Nikolas says, they’re getting there. That’s not a problem, is it?

Elizabeth tells Jason, everything Sonny wants to do to keep Mike alive, like the feeding tube, will only prolong the inevitable. In her experience, it will also make Mike miserable. She’s sorry to tell him that, and Jason says that’s why he asked her. He knew he’d get a straight answer. She says, if Sonny wants to spare Mike any more pain, and ease his passing, he needs to give his father permission to go.

Sonny tells Mike, he doesn’t know what Mike wants him to do; what Mike wants him to say to the doctors. He tells Mike, keep sleeping, and he’ll come by tomorrow, and ask him again. He kisses Mike’s forehead. Mike moves his hand, but Sonny is already going out the door. Sonny tells Elizabeth, Mike seems more tired than usual, and fell asleep. Elizabeth says she has to get to work. She’ll come back later to check on him. Sonny thanks her for being nice and being there for Mike, and she says, of course (🍷). She leaves, and Sonny asks Jason what he missed.

Franco asks Nikolas why he would have a problem with Elizabeth forgiving him. She’s a very forgiving person, and he has no problem. Nikolas says, as long as he’s sure, and Franco asks why he wouldn’t be. Nikolas says, some men don’t like their wives having male friends, and Franco says his wife can be friends with whoever she chooses. He trusts her completely because they have a solid marriage. Nikolas says, of course (🍷) they do, and Franco asks what that means. Nikolas says, it means Franco and Elizabeth have a solid marriage. Franco says, it’s nothing like Nikolas and… never mind. Nikolas says, what? and Franco says, like Nikolas and Ava. Nikolas laughs, and Franco says, the only not funny thing about them is the post-nup. Nikolas asks how Franco knows about that, and Franco says Ava is a dear friend, like Nikolas is with Elizabeth. Ava’s been through a lot. Nikolas says Ava has told him some things, but she still has difficulty opening up to him. That’s why he’s grateful she has Franco to lean on. He actually enjoys listening to Ava, but she doesn’t enjoy talking with him, and Franco can get her to open up.

Nina says, Nelle is blackmailing Julian, and Nelle says, they made a deal; that’s all. She had to resort to desperate measures to ensure being a mother to her son. Nina understands, doesn’t she? What they have to do as mothers to keep their children safe? Nina’s daughter is hers, and Wiley is Nelle’s, and no one should be able to take them away.

Diane wonders who the judge will go for. Michael and the woman who went to jail for protecting her child, or an alleged mobster, and a woman who tried to murder two fiancés because they didn’t leave enough money on her dresser. Marin says, those comments are beneath her, and Diane says, sometimes, yes, but she’s talking about a gold-digger who married an alleged mobster. Martin says, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Carly reminded him just this morning about who her husband is.

Sonny puts earbuds on Mike, and tells him to listen to the music. He tells Jason, maybe Mike’s memory will come back. Jason says he’s sorry, and Sonny says Jason doesn’t seem surprised. What did Elizabeth say to him?

Nikolas says he can’t tell Franco how much he’s looking forward to the unveiling, and Franco asks if he’s not going to try burning it down like Ava did Helena’s portrait. Nikolas says he’s sure his princess bride and Franco created something beautiful. Franco says Nikolas sounds confident for someone who hasn’t seen the portrait, and wasn’t a fan of his previous work. Nikolas says, it’s a new Franco, a new Ava, and a new day. He’s sure it will be a painting for the ages, and a party to match. He playfully punches Franco.

Carly says it’s Martin’s funeral, and he says, is that so? How does she mean that? She says figuratively, of course (🍷). How else would she mean it? He says, literally, and Diane says, it’s your funeral is literally a figure of speech. Attend to his newlyweds, and she’ll attend to hers. They’re due back in court. He says, and none of them got lunch; a pity. He hopes it  doesn’t make anyone cranky. He’ll see them in court. He leaves, and Carly tells Diane, she knows what Diane is going to say. Diane says, repeat after her. I must not issue death threats to opposing counsel. Trust her on this, and let her do the talking.

Michael pops back in, and Carly asks if he’s ready. He says, absolutely. He and Willow leave, and Carly sighs, turns around, and follows him out.

Nelle tells Nina, she has to go. They’re about to reconvene, and she’s so excited. Are they good? Nina is really her only friend, and she’d wanted to count on Nina this afternoon. Nina says she can do this for Wiley, and Nelle hugs her. Methinks Nina is going to do something for Wiley other than what Nelle thinks.

Franco goes to the hospital with the flowers, and tells Elizabeth, what he said was stupid. He’s sorry; forgive him. She says, there’s nothing to forgive. She told him, Nikolas helped her get over her insecurities about her art. He says he ran into Nikolas at the gym, and he seemed confident that he would be Elizabeth’s friend again. She says, he’s so lonely for friendship, and Franco asks how she’d categorize her relationship with Nikolas. She leaves to get water for the flowers.

Sonny tells Jason, music is good for cognitive function. The last time Mike was himself was when Brook gave him a concert at Turning Woods. He thinks it jolted Mike’s memories. Jason says, it was a while ago, and Sonny asks again what Elizabeth said to Jason. She’s a fantastic nurse, and Sonny respects her opinion. What did she say? Jason tells him, she said, when Alzheimer’s patients get to the place where Mike is – sleeping more than awake, not responding, and unable to eat – she said that usually means that they’re ready to go. She thinks Mike is just waiting for Sonny to give him permission.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth tells Franco that her feelings for Nikolas are complicated, like his for Ava; Ava asks Nikolas to choose his son or his fortune; and Julian tells Nelle, it’s not an option.

Vanderpump Rules

Dayna asks Brett how yesterday was, and he says, awesome. He felt weird leaving the dinner, and admits he’s interested in her, but that’s different than having feelings. In Dayna’s interview, she says she feels sh*tty about how Brett was screaming that he didn’t have feelings for her, but she knew he felt under attack and it didn’t come out right. She tells him what Scheana said seemed calculated the other night when she was throwing grenades. We flash back to Scheana saying Dayna and Brett shouldn’t have made out multiple times, and Dayna telling her, STFU. Dayna says she didn’t appreciate it, and it’s been back and forth all summer. In Dayna’s interview, she thinks Max loves the fact that his ex, a girl his best friend is interested in, and his best friend are feuding. Scheana asks why Brett is telling people she was trying to hook up with him when they did her video. He says she offered him a BJ, and she says she was joking. In her interview, she says no part of her wants to date him. She just used him as a piece of meat in her video. Dayna says the way Scheana was speaking at dinner made her uncomfortable, and she didn’t like Scheana’s conversation. Max made his bed. Scheana says, he’s hurt. In Dayna’s interview, she says, only a sex addict would say he has feelings for a girl, then screw five other girls, and try to get sympathy by doing her dirty. He’s trying to fill the hole in his heart by filling holes in other women.

Schwartz and Max go to Villa Rosa. In Schwartz’s interview, he says it’s Max’s first time there. Savor this, Max. He tells Max, don’t touch anything; she’ll know. They’re peasants. Schwartz tells Lisa that he’s missed her. Lisa says, the Hollywood Reporter is doing a profile piece on all of their businesses, and in her interview, she says they’ve done photo shoots for SUR, but this time, they’ll be using a couple of people from each restaurant. She tells Schwartz that everyone wants a big group shot, and they’ll have a drink afterward. She asks about James DJ’ing, and Schwartz says he has nothing but good things to say about James, who also had a moment at the pool party.

Ariana and Tom go to a spa, where Ariana is getting a beauty sculpt, and Tom is getting a facial. Ariana thanks Tom for cleaning the kitchen, and says they had a day and a half to pull off a party. She texted Brittany that she loves her, but not everybody has the same level of patience anymore. Tom says, Jax is an adult, and needs to act like one. In Tom’s interview, he says, it’s not a muscle flex. Jax expects a full investment, but only gives a fraction back. Ariana thinks everyone had fun.

Schwartz tells Lisa, he ended up going to Tom’s when Katie became the scapegoat for them throwing the party. Max says he didn’t go to either party, but he did go to Dayna’s comedy show. He had feelings for her, but she made out with his friend to spite him, and he’s frustrated. Lisa says he doesn’t like the fact that his friend took his chance of being with Dayna away, and Max says, maybe. Lisa tells them to promise there won’t be any sh*t aired in front of anyone. Schwartz wants to pinky swear instead of shaking hands, since it’s been a childish week.

Ariana tells Tom about Scheana texting Kristen about Stassi making fun of her house. Tom says, she was probably just making a joke, but Ariana says she doesn’t think it’s funny. STFU about how she’s living. Any time anyone has been over, they’ve been fed and had wine, and Stassi is acting like it’s cute to be mean. Ariana gets suction cupped on her thighs, and Tom gets some on his face. In Tom’s interview, he says there’s always new and innovative beauty technology to keep yourself looking young, and he likes to take advantage of that. He might as well stay looking as young as possible for as long as possible.

Stassi visits Lala, who’s making macaroons. She tells Stassi that she’s trying to be a housewife. In her interview, Lala says she loves her space, and has had no need to reside with a man. We see a clip where she tells Randall that keeping his toothbrush on the sink is not happening. She continues, saying, he is her fiancé. She should probably be living with her future husband. Brittany and Katie arrive, and in Katie’s interview, she says she and Brittany have never not spoken or had tension; it feels weird. They sit outside with some food, and Katie says, yesterday wasn’t normal. Kristen was sitting with Carter, and kept giving her dirty looks, and then texting her crazy sh*t like, go thrive and talk sh*t. In Stassi’s interview, she says Kristen does this when she’s bored. She makes sh*t up to get attention. Who uses the word thrive? Brittany says she’d told Kristen that she couldn’t bring Carter to their party, and Lala asks if they’re all good. Katie says they’re okay, but Brittany says, it’s so petty and got blown up. Katie says she was getting blamed for it. If Brittany wants to go there, when Katie rage texts, it’s not unfounded. She tells Brittany that she likes them, and Brittany suggests she try to get understanding. Katie says she’s done that. In Katie’s interview, she says, because she’s rage texted in the past, she should have no feelings now. We flash back to several times when Schwartz was on the receiving end of Katie’s texts. In her interview, she says she’s paid for what she’s done, and Jax needs to do his time. Brittany says, Jax messed up, but Tom is being petty. Katie tells her that Tom just said they have a pool, and if Jax was going to disinvite people, they could come to his house. There’s only one person to blame. Brittany says, Jax is struggling. He messed up on top of it, and he’s trying to fix it. He’s her husband, so they need to have respect for that.

James’s mom Jacqueline pays him a visit. In James’s interview, he says his relationship with his mom has been rocky for the past few years. We flash back to that, and he says she’s struggled with sobriety, but she’s been sober for six months, and still going strong. She tells him, it’s bad luck to cheers with water, and he wonders if he’ll never cheers again. She says he looks great, and he says, it’s been 45 days today. She says she should get the all clear on Friday. If she hadn’t gotten sober, she wouldn’t have gotten a job and had health insurance, which led to her getting a mammogram that detected cancer. Everything happened so fast, but it’s done. She had a double-mastectomy, and she’s really lucky that she’s not even sick. James cries, and says, it’s hard to talk about this. Jacqueline says she could tell he was holding it in at the hospital. In his interview, he says, finding out was the worst thing. His mother has had health issues before, and would deal with it by drinking. It’s the beginning of an amazing new era in their relationship. Jacqueline tells him that he doesn’t ever have to drink again, and he can have an amazing life. He says he couldn’t picture himself in that position, but Raquel saved him. In his interview, James says he owes everything to Raquel. He thought it was ridiculous when she asked him to stop drinking. He would never have found the person he is. It’s like he met someone new. He tells Jacqueline about Lisa asking him to DJ at SUR, and says maybe he’ll get his Tuesday nights back someday. She says he’s not letting up until that happens, and he says, why not?

In Beau’s interview, he says he wants a home by the time he and Stassi get married. Stassi will have to come up with the down payment, since he’s still living in the same rent controlled apartment he’s been in for years. He has a great job, but he can’t put 25% down on a house. He and Stassi look at a house, and Beau says, it has soul. Stassi loves the grounds, and the broker says it’s in a good school district, which they’ll pay a premium for. It’s going for $2 million. In his interview, Beau says he has some in savings, but not that much yet. Stassi wants a home with character, but Beau doesn’t think they should buy the first thing they looked at. She tells him that they have the party at TomTom later, and that Lisa is doing a photoshoot with a couple of different people from each restaurant. Beau says, that’s going to be at least forty people. Stassi says she used to do them for SUR. She’s glad she did it back then, since she was so hot. She was almost naked, but Jax was stuffing his pants with socks, and during the time Kristen had sex with Jax, he had to pose with Tom. She tells Beau that Jax and Brittany said they didn’t want to go to the TomTom event, but Beau says he bets they’ll show up.

Puffy! Lisa and Ken look at the new space along with Nick Alain and Schwartz. Nick shows them a mockup of the space, and it’s gorgeous. Schwartz says he’s amped about Nick’s vision. Tom runs in, apologizing for being late, and Lisa says, nice of him to show up. She says they have to make a decision; it’s crunch time. Are they going to keep it separate, or knock a hole in the wall? She’d be happy if they’re in, since she loves them, even if they’re a pain in her ass. We flash back to that, and she says, if they’re not in, she’s okay with that too. In his interview, Tom says, it’s tempting to use the money toward something else; it’s tough. He tells Lisa that he wishes she’d brought the checks… so they could rip them up, since it’s a definite yes. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, of course he’s all in. In Tom’s  interview, he says, of course he thought about what he could do with the money, but he’s definitely investing. Schwartz says he’s never felt better about shoving all the chips in the middle of the table. Lisa says, knock down that wall.

At TomTom, photographer Chris tells Lisa to be ready in thirty minutes. Puffy! Everyone trickles in. Brittany says she’s glad they’re all there. Karrah from Vegas has joined them, and Max says, it’s unbelievable. He’s rattled right now. We flash back to Lisa discovering he hooked up with Karrah in Vegas. He says, Lisa told him that she’d invited Karrah, but she loves playing jokes and making people stress out for fun. She was not lying. In Scheana’s interview, she says Karrah looks so much like her, down to her nose scrunch. She’s Scheana circa 2012. (It is really weird.) Lala wears her Vanderpump Dogs tank, and says she always has to give them Lala. Lisa says she’d better. Max tells Schwartz that they had a great first year, and they’re still doing great. Schwartz says he almost cried when they met with Lisa earlier.

The photographer starts to pose people. Lala says it’s the one-year anniversary, and asks Jax if he’s coming. Jax says he might stop by for an hour. He’s good with Schwartz, but they have nothing to talk about. So good – you stay there and I’ll stay here. Brittany says, there’s no point in fighting about anything anymore. Lala says she and James finished their song, and she really wants them to hear it. At least think about it. Ariana asks if she can talk to Jax, and Brittany leaves to get a drink. Jax asks how the party was, and Ariana says it was fun and chaotic. He says he wasn’t as upset as Brittany was; she took it to heart. Ariana says she hates that Brittany was put in that position, and Jax says Tom did the same thing to Stassi with the texts, but Ariana says, Tom atoned for that. Jax says, Tom likes to put his nose in other people’s business. He doesn’t know why Tom shared the texts, and Ariana suggests he take the high road. Jax says he’s a human being. He f***ed up, and he will again. In Ariana’s interview, she says, these aren’t mistakes. They point to a choice pattern; a personality. It’s who this person is. Ariana says she’s not going to argue; Tom is her boyfriend. She tells Jax not to go around saying she’s miserable, and he says if people ask him questions, he’s going to answer. She says he’s been saying things about her all summer. He says he has no clue what she’s talking about, and she tells him stop talking about her, her house, and what he thinks goes on there. Just don’t talk. She tells him, goodbye, and walks away.

The girls fix their outfits, and in Dayna’s interview, she says when she started at SUR, they made fun of her not wearing a bra. Now, they’re joking about their sweaty asses together. It’s pretty full circle. Max tells Brett that he’s sorry he disappeared, and wants to explain where he’s coming from. He feels betrayed, and maybe he’s been too lax telling Brett about how he felt about Dayna. Brett says he didn’t know Max would react that way, since he’s four girls past Dayna. Max says, it’s an open wound. He’s vulnerable, and it felt weird. He thought Dayna was being conniving and spiteful, and dating Brett to get to him. Brett says Max needs to have a conversation with her. The only people who aren’t straight are him and Dayna.

Brittany says she sees Dayna wore a bra. The photographer prepares to take a group shot, and Tom says, it’s like a selfie, so everyone cram in tight. Lisa says they’re all so beautiful. She doesn’t know how she got so lucky. She tells Jax he should be wearing his uniform, and he insists he doesn’t have one. In his interview, he says he’ll wear what he wants when he wants. He doesn’t like to be put on the same level as the others. Brittany tells him that he should have at least worn a black shirt. In Tom’s interview, he says, they’ve always worn a black button-down. Lisa tosses him a shirt, and it lands on Danica’s head. In his interview, Tom says, it’s classic Jax, doing what he wants. Jax puts the shirt on, but looks pissed in the picture. Ariana says, that’s a wrap. The other Max (Lisa’s son) says Jax got all riled up, and Jax admits he’s mad. Brittany tells him, don’t start, and he says, don’t antagonize him. In her interview, she says, when Jax is in a sassy mood, he’s short and snippy with her.

Lisa asks Jax, what’s wrong? and he says, same old. She says, it’s not the same old, and he says he had a bad day; a bad couple of weeks. He gets angry. She asks, what about? and he says he goes off on people sometimes, and gets out of control. It’s been the biggest year of his life. She asks why he’s not happy, and he says he asks himself that question every day. On paper, he has a wife and a house, and he’s healthy. She wonders what’s going on in his brain, and he says, when you injure your leg, you put an ACE bandage on it. She says he hasn’t injured his brain. Take care of his wife. He says his marriage is great, but she says, it’s not great. He’s got a habit of being self-destructive, and needs attention. Four weeks ago, it was all about Jax. Now that he’s married, that’s different. He insists it has nothing to do with his marriage, and she says, it will. He says, that’s why he’s trying to fix it.

Getting ready for the TomTom party, Schwartz says he can’t believe it’s been a year. It’s surreal that he’s contributed to that with Tom. James sets up the DJ booth with Max helping. Randall arrives, and says he missed them. Ariana tells Katie that Kristen is going to be there, and she thinks Kristen is bringing Carter, since they’re dating exclusively. Katie says, Kristen finally made a decision. Max tells Karrah that he was thrown off by her showing up. He didn’t know she would be there. Katie tells Stassi that Kristen made it exclusive with Carter. In Stassi’s interview, she says they were called bad friends because they weren’t there through Kristen’s break-up, but the break-up was bullsh*t; they were never separated. Kate says Kristen chose an a-hole, but she’s glad Kristen made a decision. Kristen walks past them without saying anything, and in Kristen’s interview, she says she knows what to expect from Katie and Stassi, but she’s not afraid of them anymore. In Lala’s interview, she says she’s nervous. James wasn’t just bad to Randall – we flash back to that – he was horrible.

Ariana sits with Stassi, and they talk about taping up their boobs. Ariana says she feels weird bringing this up, but Scheana was texting Kristen during the pool party, and said Stassi was making fun of her house. Stassi gets Scheana’s attention, and tells her, get her ass over there now. Stassi says Scheana claimed she was talking sh*t about Ariana and Tom’s house. Scheana tells her that at dinner the other night, Stassi said she was a grown-ass woman, and not going to someone’s house who has no furniture. We flash back, and it’s actually Lala who said that. Stassi says she doesn’t even talk like that, and there were a lot of people there. Ariana says she sees a scenario where they’re making fun of her house, and Stassi says she’s annoyed, because she knows for a fact she didn’t say that. In Ariana’s interview, she says she’s choosing to believe Stassi, since she’s not the type of person who denies what she said. When all is said and done, they’ll have the most beautiful furniture. If anyone makes fun of it, they don’t get to sit on it.

Karrah, who’s been watching the conversation, sits near Stassi, who says, not now. Karrah asks if everything is okay, and Stassi says, it’s not actually. In Danica’s interview, she says, Karrah is obviously drunk, and trying to insert herself in a conversation she’s not a part of. Karrah says Stassi is being negative, and Danica approaches Karrah, saying she’s been watching Karrah trying to insert herself where she doesn’t belong. In her interview, Danica says Karrah is talking crazy sh*t, and she’s trying to tell her to get out of the conversation. She asks Karrah, what’s wrong with her? Kristen tells Karrah, move along, and Karrah says she can be anywhere she wants. In Kristen’s interview, she says she’s been down this road before. You do not fight in Lisa’s restaurants or in front of Lisa. Danica tells Karrah that she said to get out of the conversation. She doesn’t know them, and she’s acting like a psychopath. Karrah says Danica has nothing to stand on, and Lisa tells Danica to calm down. In Lisa’s interview, she wonders why Danica is acting like she’s five. She’s an assistant manager. Lala says when Danica pushed Karrah, Karrah’s wine spilled on her. In her interview, Lisa says, when someone is lying – she gestures as if dusting off her hands – sorry. She tells Danica, it’s time to go home. In Max’s interview, he says, Danica is finally 86’d from TomTom. It’s about effing time.

James raps to his own tune. In his interview, he says he’s back. More respectful and less loud, but he’s back. Lala joins in on their son, and James says he’s excited for people to hear it. People who don’t want to forget what he was like can s*ck his d*ck. Scheana dances on the bar. James says it’s good to see Randall, and he’s so sorry about all the bullsh*t that he ever said. In his interview, James says he was 100% wrong to judge Randall the way he did. Randall loves Lala more than anything, and they’re perfect together. He was the last to see he was being a smartass, and if Randall wanted to pull him aside and say he was an a-hole and immature, it would have been right. But he said amazing things about James, and it shows what a real man is. He says Randall will never hear anything like that from him again, and Randall hopes James is being honest. He didn’t think that’s who James was. James says he was being an alcoholic, and Randall says Lala has a lot of love for James, and he’s a big part of her life. He wants to invite James  to the wedding; it would be awesome, and a lot of fun. James says he would love that, and they bro hug. Raquel asks James how it’s going, and she says, good. She’s so attracted to him, it’s insane. He kisses her.

Dayna tells Stassi that Brett slept with five people in the five weeks since they stopped seeing one another. Stassi says, Max is being a psycho; she did nothing wrong. Tom says he’s so happy, and glad Ariana, Schwartz, and Katie are there to share it. They have a four-way glasses clink, and Katie says the two Toms need to kiss in front of their picture. Schwartz says he doesn’t want to kiss Tom anymore, but checks his breath. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, kissing Tom is smoky, and Coors lighty, but still pleasurable. He tells Tom that his lips are softer than they used to be, and Ariana says it’s the Chapstick she gave him.

Max tells Dayna that he made himself vulnerable, and then she pressed a button that made him feel some type of way. He doesn’t want to hang out or talk to her. She says there were four people out of the photo who he slept with. Brett told her that he had sex with five people since they stopped dating, and he’s mad because she was kissing Brett. Who cares? He says she kissed Brett because she’s spiteful, and she says, it just happened. He says he loves that for her, but she says he’s trying to make her the bad guy. He tells her that she’s on her high horse, and she says he’s on the highest horse there is. All the time they hung out, he says he didn’t care who she went out with. He says he’s turned off, and she says, the feeling is mutual. She’s done with it, and him putting out negativity about her. In her interview, she says, Max is playing the sympathy card with a small violin. No one else can play with his toys, even if he doesn’t want to. He says she can’t hurt him because he’s over her; it’s the way she carries herself. She says she likes the way she carries herself, and at least she’s not screwing everyone to validate herself. He says don’t forget he hired her. She wouldn’t be there if not for him. Stay in her lane. She says she is in her lane, and he runs away walks off.

Lisa takes the mic, and says, it’s been a year. Have a drink, and celebrate. They’ve decided they’re expanding. She loves them all, and it’s been some incredible journey. This year, some of them became grown-ups, and some, not so much, but there’s always an opportunity to get better. She truly believes that. Cheers to a new beginning, cheers to the future, and thank you. Brittany tells Jax, she’s kind of buzzed, and kisses him. Jax tells Tom, congratulations. In Brittany’s interview, she says it’s super easy for her to forgive and forget; sometimes too easy, but Tom has more to prove to Jax than to her. Jax tells Tom that he’s at the end of his rope, and Tom says he’s at his wit’s end with Jax. Jax says it’s more like a relationship than a friendship.

Kristen tells Stassi and Katie that she’s been sad all summer. She doesn’t understand it. She thought she was done with Carter. Katie says she thought they were still together. Stassi says, the friendship hasn’t been the same for a long time. Katie says, Kristen wanted to hear what she wanted to hear, and when she didn’t, she got mad. That’s not love. At the bar, Tom says Jax was spiteful. He wasn’t invited to the bachelor party or the wedding. He wasn’t allowed a single disagreement in the eight months leading up to the wedding. Jax says, it was his wedding. I have actually never heard of a guy acting like a Bridezilla before. It’s mind-boggling. In Jax’s interview, he says being the groom’s bitch is part of being best man. He tells Tom that he was crying in Home Depot while he was buying flowers, and Tom says, that doesn’t give him a hall pass.

Stassi tells Kristen, she cries that she doesn’t know what she’s done, and goes to everyone. Then everyone says the same thing. Kristen asks what she’s done to deserve this, and Katie says, it’s always about Kristen. Tom tells Jax, it’s a constant one-up. Why can’t Jax be happy for him? Stassi says, the Witches of WeHo is done-zo. Her brain is going to explode. In her interview, Stassi says, it’s hard saying goodbye. When she first came there, she was the new girl, and Kristen was the cool older one. Kristen knew all the tricks at SUR, and taught Stassi how to steal wine. Kristen introduced her to this group of friends, and Beau. Then she didn’t know if Kristen would be standing up with her at her wedding, or even be there. Jax tells Tom, he doesn’t know what to do, and Tom says Jax will do the same sh*t he’s done for twenty years. In Tom’s interview, he says Jax has been his friend for a long time, but he doesn’t know if he has space for Jax’s negativity anymore. He’s wasting his love and energy on the wrong person. Jax asks what they should do at this point, and Tom says he’s establishing boundaries. He’s not doing this anymore. Jax asks if they should take a break or a little time out, and Tom says, sure. Stassi and Katie go inside, leaving Kristen to follow by herself. Jax tells Brittany that he’s done with things with Tom, who wandered off. In Lisa’s interview, she says she doesn’t know where to start. Years of friendship she thought would last forever, and everything turned upside down. She doesn’t know where they’ll go from here. Jax will realize one day that these were his lifelong friends. We flash back to all of them over the years.

Lisa tells Jax that he shouldn’t make himself more special than he is. They’re all human, fall in love, f*** up, and they’ve all lost parents. It’s not a tragedy; it’s what life is about. He’s got every chance in life to pull it together, and see how lucky he is. End of effing story. Everyone leaves the party.

Next time, the reunion.

If Loving You Is Wrong

After Eddie shows Natalie the video of Kelly happy kissing Lushion, Natalie tells Eddie, get out. He says, nice place. A little Afrocentric for his taste, but nice. He leaves, and Natalie calls Lushion, leaving a message for him to call. She immediately calls again, and says, call her now.

Alex finishes with Randal, and gets a drink. He says he hates her, and she says she knows. He asks why she turned up, and she says because she can. And she wanted to show him something. He says, that she knows how to swallow? and she says, yeah, her pride. And that she knows how to be submissive, but most of all, she needed to let him know how stupid he actually is. Just like most men. He thinks he’s so smart. He thought she was the poor little housewife next door. He says that’s exactly what she is, and she says he’s so wrong. He suggests she tell him what she is, and she says, he thought he was a big bad snake and she was a poor little mouse. It’s more like he’s the tiny mouse and she’s the snake. She laughs, and says he doesn’t get the fact she played him since day one. He says, do not, and she says she knew he wanted her, and she was in control because men are so stupid. He did everything she wanted him to do, when she wanted him to do it. She did this just now. He’s welcome. He says she’s so very naïve thinking that. Get the hell out. She says gladly, and digs in his back pocket for his wallet. He tells her again to get out, and she leaves.

He follows her out, and says, on second thought, he had her pegged from the first moment. He knew she was easy, weak, and vulnerable, and he knew. She asks what did he know? and he says he knew she wasn’t in love with Brad, and he went after her. She laughs, and says he can’t stand it, can he? He says she can’t stand that he’s right, and she says, which proves her point. Everything he says is true, which proves she went after him. He’s really not that smart. Eddie parks in front of them, and Randal asks what the hell he’s doing there. Eddie tells Alex, hi, whore, and she says, hi, bigger whore. He says he’ll take that as a compliment. He sees they’re back at it, and Alex says, they are. They just had great sex. Eddie tells Alex to get her ass back in her house, and she tells him to get his ass back in his house. Oh, wait. He doesn’t have a house. Randal asks why Eddie is there, and Eddie says Randal called the police. Randal says he called the real police, and Eddie says, the real police are there, d*ckhead. Randal said someone assaulted him. Randal says, go to hell, and Eddie says he can take Randal down to the station for making a false claim. Randal says he didn’t, and Eddie asks who assaulted him? Randal says, Natalie, and Eddie says, what is wrong with you people? All you ever think about is violence and killing. Randal says, someone should kill Eddie’s ass, and Eddie says, everyone tried and failed. Does he want to press charges or take a ride? Randal says, kiss his ass, and Eddie says he’s the law. Come with him or take a walk. Randal goes to his door, and Eddie says, best decision he’s ever made. He asks what Alex is still doing there, and she says she’s waiting for her ride. Unless he wants to give her a ride. He says he wouldn’t spit on her ass if it was on fire. He asks what she’s doing; what’s with this whole get-up? She says she’s going back to her roots, and he says it’s quite the hombre look she’s got going on. Go in her house. She says she doesn’t live there anymore. She left Brad and the kids. They can take care of themselves. Eddie wonders what’s going on, and heads toward Brad’s house. Alex jumps in the squad car, and takes off.

Eddie radios dispatch, and tells them to look out for his patrol car. The dispatcher says they can put a trace on it, and he says, then do it. She says, say please, please, and he says, please. Everyone laughs, and he says when he gets back, he’s going to put his foot in every one of their dispatch asses. Find his car. She asks how he lost it, and he says it was stolen by three Black suspects. One looked like Tyler Perry. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! They were wearing jeans and those oversized T-shirts they like. Alex gets on the radio, and says, that’s a bunch of sh*t. He tells her to get her ass off the radio, and she says he really said that about black people; he’s such a liar. The dispatcher wonders who she is, and Alex says she’s the Black male who stole the car. And she didn’t steal it; it’s not even 50 feet away. He’s not looking. Eddie says, she’s lying, and the dispatcher tells Alex, stay there. The police are on their way. Alex says, not a chance, and the dispatcher asks if Eddie wants to make a report. He says, write the damn report, adding, she must be Black. She calls him a racist SOB, and he says he’s coming back to the station.

Eddie walks into Brad’s house, and Brad asks if he ever knocks. Eddie says, not really, and he asks what Marcie is doing there. Brad says, she’s cooking, and Eddie says it’s one crazy-ass merry-go-round they’ve got going on there. Brad suggests Eddie get off of it. Eddie says he is, but he’s trying to figure out what happened. Brad says, it’s a long story, and Eddie says he’s got all day. Brad says, Alex left him with the kids, but Eddie doesn’t believe it. He says, Brad isn’t thinking of keeping that bastard, and Brad tells him, stay away from the baby, and don’t call him that. Eddie says he’s not Brad’s, but Brad asks why that matters. Eddie says, it’s not Brad’s problem. Who cares? Take the baby to the hospital and pass him off. Let someone else take care of him. Brad says Eddie will never change, and Eddie suggests dropping the baby off at a shelter. Brad says, enough, and Eddie says, it would be a good time to take the baby to the border. Brad tells him, get out, and Eddie says everyone is always throwing him out. Brad says he’s always acting like this. Eddie says, if Alex is gone, can he have a room? Brad says, his kids sleep there, and Eddie says he’ll just go up and look around. He goes upstairs, and Marcie asks why Brad puts up with him. Brad says he doesn’t like it, and doesn’t like Eddie at all. Eddie comes back down, and says, it will do. Brad says Eddie’s not staying there; get an apartment. Eddie says, why, when he’s got this place? Brad says, no way, and Eddie says he’ll help with the finances; a couple hundred a month. Brad asks what Eddie does with his money, and Eddie says, the ABCs; asses, bitches, and cocaine, not necessarily in that order. He has to grab some things, but he’ll be back. They’ll see how it works out, and go from there. He looks at Marcie, and says she’s filling out the A in his alphabet.

Steven goes to Esperanza’s house, and looks around. She says, Eddie’s not there, but he says they don’t know that. She says she would smell him, but he says he’s still going to look. She says she can’t believe Alex is staying at a bar with a guy she barely knows. She’s got to call Natalie; Marcie won’t help. Steven says he knows Alex is her friend, but she seemed… Esperanza says, drunk? and he says, determined to do whatever she wanted. She says, Alex would never give up on her kids like that, but he says Alex isn’t her, and you never know what circumstances drive people. She asks how he got so understanding, and he says he thinks he’s a decent guy. She says he’s a douche. He dresses nice, but he’s a douche. He asks what she thinks of Eddie, and she says, he’s not a douche. He’s a douchebag, a tool, and a crazy person who belongs in an asylum. She thanks Steven for being a douche, and he says, you’re welcome? She thanks him for being a somewhat decent person; for just being him. What if she wanted to look into making this more? He says, why? She’s got all the say. She told him in the beginning that she was in control, and would say when he comes and goes. Is she going to tell him what to say too? Does she want him to move in? She says she didn’t say that. Stay a couple hours, and she’ll introduce him to her daughter. He says, it must be semi-serious, and she asks if he’d like to meet her daughter. He says he’d love to, and she says it’s a big deal for her. Eddie is the only man her daughter knows in her life. He says he’d love to take the time to know about Esperanza, and she says she agrees. He asks if she wants to do it, and says she always has to play hard to get. He kisses her, but she says she doesn’t have time. Stop it.

Larry calls Ian into his office. He asks if Ian has a newer version of his phone, and asks Ian to show him how to get email notifications. Ian shows him, and Larry tells him to sit and relax. He keeps messing with Ian’s phone, and talking about what a great case it’s in. Ian says he can get Larry one, but Larry says, that’s okay. Ian reaches for his phone, but Larry won’t let him take it. Larry says when that hot shot public defender Carl came in, he was so good, he offered Carl a job. Ian doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and Larry asks, why? Ian says he’s green, and Larry says he did tell Ian that Carl just got lucky. Ian asks if he can have his phone back; he doesn’t want to miss a call. Larry looks at the phone, and says he already missed two. They’re calling again now; take it there. Ian says he’s not taking his call in Larry’s office, but Larry answers. It’s Carl, and Ian says he’ll call back, and hits the disconnect button. Larry says Ian will have plenty of time, and Ian grabs his phone back. Larry says, tell him about it, but Ian says, there’s nothing to tell. He’s trying to protect the firm. Larry says Ian doesn’t have to worry about the firm anymore; he’s fired. Ian asks what Larry is talking about, and Larry asks if he stuttered. Ian says he’ll bury Larry, and Larry says he’d like to see Ian try. Ian says he’ll clean up his office, but Larry says, it was already done while Ian was there. Ian says, it’s going be a pleasure not to work for him.

Peter and Paisley come home, and Peter asks what Marcie is doing there. Brad says, cooking dinner, and he asks, where’s mom? Brad says that’s what he needs to talk to them about. Paisley asks what’s going on, and Brad asks them to sit. He says he and their mom have gotten a divorce, and Paisley says she told them. Brad says what she didn’t tell them was that she needed a vacation. She wanted to go away for a few days, and she might be back tomorrow or the next day, but she’ll be back. Pater asks where she went, and Brad says, she went away with friends. Peter asks if she’s okay, and Brad says, she’s fine. Peter asks if he’s sure, and Brad asks, why? Paisley says she was upset about the divorce; she was really sad. Brad says, the good thing is, he’ll take care of them until she comes back, and Marcie will be there to help out. Peter asks if they’re dating? Brad says, what? and Peter says, it’s a simple question. Brad tells them that he and Marcie are dating, and Paisley says they’re not kids anymore; they know what’s going on, and can understand too. Brad apologizes for keeping them in the dark, and Peter says they just want him and mom to be happy. Brad says they’ll talk over dinner. The kids tell him that they love him, and he says he loves them too. They go upstairs, and Marcie says he and Alex did something right. Brad says he can’t believe how well that went, and she hugs him.

Mica comes home, and sees Steven. She asks what he’s doing there, and Esperanza says that’s what she wanted to talk about. Mica says she doesn’t want to talk about it. She hears them having sex, and it’s disgusting. Her dad told him what a horrible person Steven is; he beat his last wife. Esperanza says, that’s not true. Mica says she wants to stay with her dad if Steven is there, and tells Steven, there’s the door. She doesn’t like him or the way he looks at her. Esperanza says Mica has never met him, and Mica says her dad told her that Steven was staring at her while she was in school. Esperanza says, that’s not true, and Steven says, they’ll talk later. Mica tells him, don’t come back. When he’s gone, Esperanza tells Mica, never ever be this rude to her friends again. Mica says, don’t be rude to her dad, and Esperanza says they’re not together anymore. Mica says, because of her; she’s a whore. Esperanza slaps Mica across the face, and says, never talk like that to her. Her father is lying. Mica says, Esperanza is the liar. She made him leave. She runs to her room.

Natalie leaves another message for Lushion, saying she’s called four times, and he needs to call her. The kids come home, and tell her that Justice was in a fight; they talked about his momma. Justice says he beat the fool down, and Natalie tells the others to go to their rooms and do their homework. Justice tells her, the kids won’t leave him alone, and they talk about his momma. She didn’t do anything to them, and he’s going to get a gun. Natalie says he’s not going to do that. He says he doesn’t want to talk to her, and she asks, what’s wrong? She’s sorry. She knows it’s hard, and she’s sorry, but it’s going be all right. He says everyone keeps saying that, but where’s his momma? Natalie calls Lushion again, and asks where he is. She needs to talk to him.

Mica calls Eddie, and says her mom had that guy over, and she told him to leave. He says, good for her. She says she doesn’t want to be there; she wants to stay with him. He says he’s staying with Uncle Brad while his house is being worked on. She says she doesn’t want to stay there; Esperanza slapped her across the face. He asks if her face is red. She says it is, and he tells her to take a picture of her face, and send it to him. Why did her mother hit her? She says she called her mother a whore, and he says, the truth hurts. She says it’s terrible there; she wants to stay with him. He says he knows it’s terrible, and wishes he’d picked a better woman to be her mother. She asks if he can he pick her up. He says he’ll be there later, and she asks if they can go to a hotel. He says, not tonight; he has to work the late shift. She says her mother drives her crazy, and he tells her to keep herself together. Keep speaking her mind; she gets it from daddy. Esperanza knocks on her door, and Mica says her father knows Esperanza is a whore, and wishes he’d done better. He said Mica doesn’t have to speak to her.

Esperanza asks Mica to come out, but Mica says her dad told her that she doesn’t have to talk to Esperanza. Leave her alone. Esperanza says she’s not playing. Come out. Mica says, leave me alone, you whore, and Esperanza tells her, please stop talking like that. Mica asks if Esperanza is going to hit her again, and Esperanza says she’s so sorry, but Mica can’t speak to her that way. Mica says, whore, and Esperanza walks away.

Esperanza calls Eddie, and he says, Mica is damn right to call her a whore, and Esperanza slapped her in the face. She shouldn’t have that boy in the house; he’s not playing. She says he thinks he’s going to get custody, but she’s going to tell the judge everything about how he’s using his own daughter. She wants to give Mica a better life, away from him. He says she’s the one Mica should stay away from. She says, she swears… and he says, bye, bitch. Steven texts her that he’s outside, and she goes out. She sits in his car, and he asks if she’s okay. She says, no, and he says he’s sorry. She says Eddie is using Mica against her, and says terrible things to Mica about her. He says, that’s Eddie. She can’t expect anything else. She says, the worst part is that Mica believes him, and she can’t talk to her. He says she can’t right now, but will when Mica is calm and ready. She has the devil in her ear. She says Mica has the devil as her father, and he says, that too. He hates what Eddie did to her. She says she’ll be all right, and thanks him. He says Mica just wasn’t ready, and she says she’s sorry. He tells her, don’t be. They’ll set her straight. She thanks him again, and he hugs her.

Lushion comes home, and sees Eddie. Eddie asks, what’s going on? and Lushion asks what Eddie is doing in front of his house. Eddie says he had a nice chat with Natalie, and Lushion calls him a son of a bitch. Eddie says he got that right. Lushion has no idea of the damage he’s about to face. She’s mad as hell. Lushion says, okay. Eddie sees Kelly coming home, and says, hey. Kelly tells him, don’t talk to her, and he asks how the fresh air is. She repeats, don’t talk to her, and starts to walk inside. He says, that’s where she killed that man. How does she sleep there? He wants to know. The man’s blood is in there, and she lays her head down peacefully. Lushion tells him, go somewhere, and Eddie says Lushion needs to go somewhere and work on his marriage.

Kelly goes inside, and Lushion follows. He says, it must be good to be home, and she says she’s sorry about that with Eddie. It’s totally her fault. He says, it’s all right, and she asks if he wants her to talk to Natalie. He says, no; he will. It will be better if he does. She says, if he needs her to come by, she will, and she thanks him. She says it’s hard being there. She wants to go in the back. He says he’ll go with her, and she wonders if that’s wise. He says Natalie needs to think about this. Trust him. He’s doing the right thing. He follows her into the back of the house, and I’m intrigued.

Natalie goes out on the porch and sees Eddie, who says, mm-mm-mm. Now she’s trying not to hear what he’s saying. She tells him, go to hell, and he says, they’ve been in there a long time. If he was her, he’d go check on what’s going on. Don’t knock. He can see the wheels spinning. Talking about himself in the third person, he says, Eddie has never lied to her. She strides over to Kelly’s house, and he says, don’t knock. Just put her ear to the door. She starts to knock, but then goes inside. He says, that’s it, and rubs his hands together, saying, he’s so good.

Natalie goes into the house, and walks to the back. She listens at a bedroom door for a moment, and busts in, yelling, you MF’ers!   

Next time, Mica goes missing, Larry ask if there’s anything Eddie cares about, Brad asks if Ian thinks he’s the baby’s father, and Steven threatens to beat Eddie’s ass.

🥱 The Sun Also Rises…

It’s been a roller coaster with my sweet pup, but he’s still hanging in there, and so am I. Stay safe, stay resourceful, and stay on top of your stimulus check.

May 12, 2020 – Nelle Discovers a Secret, Jax Has a Sprained Brain, Alex Goes Home & Late Or Early


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Brook tells Julian, as long as he does the occasional favor, she won’t have to tell Sonny. He helped Brad pass off a stolen baby as Willow’s. When Brad got squirmy, he tried to shut Brad up by sabotaging his car, and Lucas woke up in a coma. He shouldn’t complain, but be grateful it’s not someone worse than her. Nelle listens from the hallway.

Michael and Willow go to the MetroCourt, and Carly says she thought they’d be with Diane, prepping for tomorrow. Michael says, they did, and dropped by for a toast. Sonny asks what they’re toasting to, and he says Willow agreed to marry him. Carly says, that’s wonderful news, and welcomes Willow to the family. Michael says they agreed it was the best thing for Wiley, and Carly thinks it’s the best thing for all three of them. Sonny asks when it’s happening, and Michael says, tonight he hopes. He’s filing a flight plan. Sonny says he needs to talk with his son.

Lucy tells Sasha to leave the bag of ice on her nose. They need her beautiful face to be camera ready for the photo shoot tomorrow. The photographer was expensive, and he’s already booked and paid for. Sasha says her cheeks are numb, and Lucy says, they’ll thaw. She hates that she agreed to a non-airbrush campaign, and is going to sue Brook if they have to reschedule. Sasha says she’ll be fine. Lucy says she seems grumpy, and Sasha says she’s getting frostbite. Lucy tells her, take a deep breath. She’s been there, and understands what it’s like to be labeled the town tramp.

On the phone, Ned tells Tracy, he’s trying to salvage the Med Tech deal… He fully intends to continue on as CEO, but he can’t force Michael out of the company. Monica comes in, and asks if he minds telling her what’s going on.

Portia asks if Trina is feeling better. Trina says, a little bit, but because Portia is a great mom, not because she despises Jordan any less. Portia says, Jordan isn’t the bad guy, and Trina says, she knows Jordan isn’t. He is. Cyrus is walking toward them, and Trina jumps up and strides over to him. She says she knows who he is; Cyrus Renault. He says, Trina. He’s sorry to hear her father is dead. Trina says he doesn’t sound like someone who’s sorry. He sounds like someone who needs to be stopped. Curtis and Jordan arrive, and Curtis tells Cyrus, back off. Stay the hell away from Trina. Cyrus says he doesn’t believe they’ve been introduced, and Curtis says Cyrus knows good and well who he is; he’s Jordan’s husband. Cyrus introduces himself, and Curtis says he knows everything about Cyrus. Play his game somewhere else, and stay the hell away from Trina and Portia. Cyrus says, for the record, the young lady came over to him. He saw no harm in offering his condolences. Curtis asks if he wants to talk about harm, and Jordan says since Cyrus is there, there are some things they need to discuss. They step away, and Curtis asks if Trina is okay. She asks why he’s butting in now when he left her father to die in the warehouse.

Monica wonders why she has a missed call from the PCPD, and Ned says, it must have been Brook. Monica asks if Brook has been arrested again, and Ned says, yeah; disturbing the peace. She reached out to him, but he refused to rescue her. She tells him, be careful. Tough love can have unintentional consequences. Look at his mother and Edward. He says, it’s not that bad, and she says, not yet. What if he makes Brook fend for herself, and it makes the situation worse?

Sasha asks Lucy if she’s being labeled as the town tramp. Lucy says, no… well… Who cares what people think? People cheat on their partners all the time. She tells Sasha to put the ice back on, and Sasha tells her, stop. Lucy says, it looks better. One more minute. Please? For her? She tells Sasha that she’s there for her. She completely understands when a good person find themselves cheating on their partner. It takes time. She hurt Doc terribly a while back, and didn’t think he’d ever forgive her, but now they’re friends, and he’s happy with Laura, while she’s a successful entrepreneur. All’s well that ends well.

At The Floating Rib, Martin mumbles that Nelle is trying his patience. Where is the little nutcase?

Brook thanks Julian for the drink, and asks if he’ll take her home. He says he’s had enough for one night; take a Ride Share. His phone rings, and he says, hi, Olivia. He asks what Leo is doing with his mom’s phone. He tells Leo, calm down… Ned did what?… Where’s his mom? He says he’ll be right there; hang tight. He tells Brook, it looks like she’s getting a ride after all. He couldn’t understand Leo; he was so upset. Ned did or said something. Brook says, Ned would never hurt Leo, and Julian says, he’d better not have. They leave, and Nelle comes out. She calls Martin, and asks where he is. He says he’s at The Floating Rib, where they agreed to meet a half hour ago. She says she got held up, and he says he’s charging for his time and his dinner. She says, no problem. She’s on her way now. He says he hopes whatever kept her was worth it, and she tells him, she can’t say at the moment, but she has the feeling it could prove useful.

Carly says Willow is going to be part of the family. She can’t tell Willow how grateful she is that she agreed. Willow is a strong woman, and she admires that. She knows Willow isn’t Wiley’s birth mother, but she’s shown herself to be every bit his mother by her actions. She loves Wiley, and puts him first. She couldn’t pick a better person, but is this what Willow wants? She knows Willow was with Chase, and loves him. Willow flashes back to Chase saying he loves her, and loves being with her. He thinks it’s turning into something special, and instead of looking for all the ways it could go wrong, the should look for all the ways it can go right. He’d love it if she’d move in with him. Carly asks if she’ll be able let that go.

Sonny tells Michael, Willow is a courageous young woman. He’ll always be grateful for what she did for Kristina, but is Michael sure he wants to marry her? Michael says, completely. He knows how manipulative Nelle can be, and he’s taking no chances on losing Wiley. He wants to make the strongest case possible, and Willow will be the perfect stepmother. He knows Wiley loves her. Sonny says the marriage is going to last beyond the court date. Is Michael willing to live in a loveless marriage? Michael says love hasn’t worked out for him before. He and Willow respect each other, and have been friends for a while. He likes and trusts her, and they both love Wiley. Sonny asks if Michael thinks it’s enough, and Michael says he’s doing what he has to for his son.

Cyrus says Jordan’s husband is very protective. She says, that’s Curtis, but she doesn’t need anyone to protect her. He says she’ll get no argument from him. He remembers how capable and good she is at her job. He’s always admired her efficiency. He can’t thank her enough for seeing that justice was served and exonerated, even if it was detained. She says he doesn’t have to put on an act; there’s no one else there. He says, it’s just them, and he looks forward to her acting on his behalf, especially now that he’s a resident of the community she’s sworn to serve.

Portia tells Trina, maybe it’s easier to blame Curtis, but he didn’t kidnap her, or lure her father to the warehouse. Trina says Curtis left her father in the warehouse with four guys who had guns. Portia says her father instructed Curtis to get her to a safe place, and she’s grateful he did. Trina says, she’s not.

Sonny says he wants love and passion for Michael. Not somebody who’s just trustworthy, but someone who’s compatible. Michael says, Willow is making a sacrifice too, but they agreed that Wiley was the most important thing. Beyond Nelle, they can give Wiley stability, and a happy home, with parents who respect each other. He’s taking it as a win. Sonny says, okay, and they go back to the bar. Sonny says, so they’re doing this tonight? and Michael says he has the ELQ jet ready to go to Vegas. Sonny says, not Vegas. He wants Michael to get married in Port Charles surrounded by the people he loves. Michael says he doesn’t have time to get a license, but Sonny says, no problem. He’ll make some calls, and get one. Michael shrugs, and looks at Willow.

Monica tells Ned not to let her run him out if he has more work to do. He says he was going over the next quarter’s projections, and he’s ready to pack it in. She says she can’t thank him enough for stepping in while Michael looks after Wiley. He says, family looks after family; it’s the Quartermaine way. Brook comes in with Julian, and Ned asks what she’s doing home. And why is she with Julian? Julian asks where Leo is, and Ned says, he’s asleep. Julian says, he just called; where’s Olivia? Monica says, Olivia is sleeping. She had a migraine, so Monica gave her something to knock her out. Julian says, Leo was very upset. What did Ned do? Ned says, nothing, but Julian says he was sobbing, and mentioned Ned. Ned says Leo is playing Julian. He told Leo that he couldn’t have a pet snake. He’s been obsessed ever since Violet’s birthday party. Olivia said it was out of the question. Julian asks if Ned minds if he goes upstairs to have a chat with Leo, and Ned says, of course (🍷) not. Julian and Monica go upstairs, and Brook says she told Julian that Ned would never hurt Leo. Ned says, never mind that. What the hell is she doing with Julian?

Nelle joins Martin, who says, excellent. Just in time for the bill. What does she want to talk to him about? She says, strategy. She sees Sasha, and goes over to her. She asks if it was Willow. It looks like it hurts. Sasha says, get out of her face, and Nelle asks if Sasha is going to throw a drink on her like the friend she betrayed. Poor Willow can’t catch a break.

Jordan tells Cyrus, he’s right about one thing. She serves all the people in Port Charles. He tells her, have a lovely evening. He’s sure their paths will cross again soon. He walks away.

Trina tells Portia, Curtis could have gone back in to help her dad. She begged him to, and he refused. Now his wife is trashing her dad’s reputation with a lie. Portia says, as much as they wish it wasn’t true, her father and the other men crossed a line. Curtis joins them, and says Jordan didn’t want to expose Taggert, since she knew what motivated him. Jordan comes up behind him, and Curtis says, Cyrus is a dangerous man; steer clear of him. Trina says he’s just covering for Jordan. She’s the reason Cyrus is free in the first place. They’re just as bad as Cyrus is.

Lucy tells Sasha, she’s got to go. She doesn’t want to, but she’s got to. She’s needed at the Quartermaines. Sasha ask if everything is okay. Did something happen to Michael? Lucy tells her, brace herself. Michael is going to marry Willow, and Sonny asked her to officiate. Nelle says, Michael can’t marry her, but Lucy says, yeah; he can. Michael is a Corinthos and a Quartermaine. He’s Sonny’s son, and Edward’s great-grandson. He’s part of two great pillars of Port Charles. He’s also related to the Spencers, and can do whatever he wants to do with his power and money. Sasha flashes back to telling Chase that she thinks Michael will do his best to keep Wiley safe. And she thinks before Wiley’s third birthday, maybe sooner, Willow will be madly in love with Michael, and be the happiest woman on the face of the earth. Lucy says, it speaks highly to Michael’s character. She’s never seen him throw his weight around. It must be important this time to get what he wants. She tells Sasha, please go home and rest. She doesn’t need this aggravation. She’ll call Sasha later. Ta! Nelle stomps back to Martin’s table.

Brook says, I’m happy you’re out of jail and okay. How are you feeling? Those are the words a loving father would say. He wouldn’t hang up on her, and leave her to rot. She called Julian because he was the only one available. He asks if this is going to be a regular occurrence, being tossed in jail for disturbing the peace. She says she was defending Michael’s honor. She got into it with Sasha at the boxing gym, her glove accidently collided with Sasha’s face. She flashes back to that, and Ned asks if Sasha is going to press charges, and is it going to show up online. She says, no and no. Sasha got a bloody nose, and it would have been over, except Chase got on his high horse and wrote her a ticket for she doesn’t know what. The doorbell rings, and she says, that’s probably him to write her up again. It’s Josslyn, and she asks if Michael hasn’t called them. Ned asks if there’s a reason he should, and she says, Michael and Willow are getting married. Brook says, tonight?

Nelle tells Martin, it’s obvious what Michael is trying to do, and Martin says, if Michael chooses to marry a delightful young woman he’s known for over a year, and is devoted to Wiley, and who Wiley loves, he can’t imagine the court objecting. Nelle says they need a counter move. He needs to earn his money.

Monica comes downstairs, and asks if Michael texted Josslyn. Ned says, about the wedding? and Monica says, Michael and Willow are getting married; she couldn’t be happier. Ned says he sees the legal strategy, and Brook says he’s no expert, having been blackmailed into marriage by Kathryn Bell. Ned says, Michael is going to marry a woman he never even dated? and Josslyn says she thinks it’s great. Wiley loves Willow, and she might be good enough for Michael. Sonny, Carly, Michael, and Willow come in, and Michael says, good; they’re all there. Are they ready for a wedding?

Curtis says, Trina is right; Cyrus should be in prison, but Jordan was serving the greater good. Jordan says she’s sorry Trina is hurt, and Trina says, then tell everyone her dad is innocent. Portia tells Trina, they have a more pressing matter to discuss. Trina wanted to do battle with a dangerous criminal. Promise she’ll stay away from Cyrus. Trina says, if Portia promises to make Curtis and his wife stay away from her.

Brook congratulates Willow, and welcomes her to the family. God help her. Willow says, thanks? Brook asks if that’s what she’s wearing. She’d look gorgeous in a potato sack, but let her look in her closet for something better suited to the occasion. Josslyn asks if Monica minds if she looks around, and Monica tells her, help herself to anything she thinks she can use. Sonny says he appreciates Monica doing this, and thanks her for opening up her home, and letting Michael get married there. She says Michael is her grandson, and should be married there. She asks who’s officiating, and he says, Lucy. He couldn’t find anybody. She says, he couldn’t do better than Alan’s ex-bimbo? He says, she was the only one available on such short notice. He sees Julian, and asks what Julian is doing there. Julian says, his son lives there. Sonny? Sonny says, same. Julian says he was just leaving, and Sonny says, good. Julian tells him to give Michael and Willow his best wishes. Willow cares what happens to Wiley, and deserves be with him, not Nelle.

Martin says, Nelle has the best possible case she can. She has financial means, a house, and a job. She says Michael is a CEO and lives in a mansion. Now he’s marrying Snow White. He says he can’t prevent that any more than he can conjure up a husband for her. She says, he’s a genius, and he says they’re not getting married. She tells him, calm down; they don’t have to, and she leaves.

Michael finds Willow sitting by herself, and asks how she’s holding up. She says, just fine. She’s not the fragile flower he thinks she is. He says he knows she’s anything but fragile. He’s seen how strong she is, and how hard she can fight. He’s grateful that she’s marrying him. She tells him, stop thanking her. She loves Wiley, and when she found out he wasn’t her son, she can’t describe the loss she felt. Now Wiley will be her son again. If anyone is grateful, it’s her. He says, mutual gratitude isn’t a bad foundation for a marriage, and Willow says, it will work. He says, sorry it’s so last minute, but she says she’s not. She has no time to be nervous. He says he’s not nervous. He knows it’s right, and he’s grateful she agreed. He was hoping she would accept this ring. He takes a ring out of his pocket that looks a lot like Princess Diana’s engagement ring. She says, oh my God, and he tells her it belonged to his great-grandmother Lila. He doesn’t remember her, but he’s heard stories. She was generous and kind, and saw the good in people, but she was nobody’s fool. She never got distracted be things that didn’t matter; the infighting and bickering. She was better than his great-grandfather deserved, and she was an amazing mother. He thinks Willow would be the perfect one to wear her ring. She says, it’s beautiful, but it was his great-grandmother’s ring. Maybe someone in the family should have it. He says, she is family. Does she trust him on this? She says, yes, she trusts him, and he puts the ring on her. He says, perfect fit.

Sasha and Chase meet at the pier. He asks why she couldn’t tell him over the phone, and she says she doesn’t know why it’s hitting her so hard when it’s what they wanted. Michael and Willow are getting married tonight.

Lucy gives Sonny an envelope with the license in it, and says he certainly does have friends in influential places. The judge sends his best, and wishes Michael much success. She tells him, there’s a one-day waiting period, and he says he loves midnight weddings. Technically, it will be tomorrow when it’s over. Carly brings Wiley in, and says, look who woke up. She tried to get him to go back down, but no go. Sonny says, he can join the ceremony.

Chase asks if Sasha is sure it’s tonight, and she says Michael and Willow want to get married before the hearing. He asks how she found out, and she says she was at The Floating Rib with Lucy when she got the call. He says, it must have been tough, and she says, the hardest part was seeing Nelle, and knowing it didn’t have to happen. He asks if Nelle knows about the wedding, and Sasha says Nelle went zooming back to her lawyer. She wouldn’t put it past Nelle to bother them. Should they warn them? Chase asks, who would take a call from either of them?

Carly’s phone rings, and she tells Sasha, it’s not a good time. Sasha says, Nelle overheard Lucy at The Floating Rib. She knows Michael and Willow are getting married. Carly asks if Sasha has any idea what Nelle is going to do, and Sasha says, Nelle was talking to her lawyer, then left. She wanted to give them a heads up. Carly thanks her, and says she’ll take it from there. Nothing is getting in the way of this wedding tonight.

Jordan asks if Curtis found TJ, and he says, TJ is observing a surgery. He left a message. He wonders if Cyrus is gone, but she says, security said he hasn’t left the building yet. They see Cyrus walking around, and Curtis says, visiting hours are over. Cyrus says, that’s why he’s leaving. He asks Jordan if her son doesn’t work there. In fact, he believes TJ is working tonight. Curtis says, it’s none of his business, and Cyrus says his interests are far reaching. He wouldn’t underestimate that. He walks away.

Nelle goes to Charlie’s, but Julian yells, they’re closed. She bangs on the door like a madwoman, and Julian opens it. He asks, what’s wrong with her? They’re closed. She says, trust her. He’ll want hear what she has to say.

The wedding march begins. Willow comes down the stairs in a white lace halter gown, carrying a bouquet of roses. She and Michael join hands. Lucy says they’re gathered here to witness Michael and Willow join in the bonds of matrimony.

Chase gives Sasha a beer, and asks if she’d care to join him. She says, why not? As they drink, she asks if he knows where the phrase a far, far better thing comes from. He says he doesn’t, and she says, it’s from A Tale of Two Cities. It’s Dickens, and has a convoluted plot. Sidney is in love with a girl who’s in love with an aristocrat who looks like him. Sidney sends them off to live happily ever after, and takes the guy’s place at the guillotine. As he’s climbing the scaffold to his death, he says, it’s a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before; and it’s a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known. He says, at least they’re not getting their heads chopped off; so there’s that. She says, compared to Sidney, they’re getting off easy. They toast to Sidney.

Michael says his vows, and Willow follows. Everyone is all misty like this is a real love match. Michael puts the ring on Willow’s finger, and Lucy says, by the power vested in her by the state of New York, she now pronounces them husband and wife. She tells Michael he can kiss his bride. He and Willow kiss, and everyone applauds. Michael smiles at Willow, who looks a little dazed.

Tomorrow, Robert asks Laura why they don’t pick up where they left off, Avery asks if she’ll ever forget Ava, and Sonny needs to know what Mike wants.

Vanderpump Rules

The Toms go to SUR to clean the gender-neutral bathroom with toothbrushes. Lisa asks, what the hell? Is it blocked? Tom explains that it’s part of the softball deal. The loser had to clean the other’s bathroom. She asks why they’re wearing matching shirts, and Tom says, it’s the TomTom experience. She says they should have done something productive, like shave her legs. Schwartz asks if that’s still o on the table. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he’s having a moment. He can just picture it at Villa Rosa. Her dainty leg hanging over the tub; long, smooth, gentle strokes, making sure not to nick her leg. It smells like rose petals and $300 candles. Tom sticks a toothbrush in his mouth, and Lisa asks, what’s wrong with them?

In his interview, James says he’s back behind the booth. It’s like a new life, and it’s been a long time coming. He’s back, baby. Raquel says she’s so excited, and now she can tell her friends who have been asking about when he’s DJing. Schwartz and Tom come out of the bathroom, and Schwartz says they head by example. They’re not afraid to get their hands dirty. He supposes he should wash them. Brittany says, hi, pooper scoopers, and Tom tells her, last night, Jax told them they’re not invited, so they decided to have their own party then. Brittany says, that’s kind of messed up, and they don’t ever have people over. Tom says, they did last night. In Tom’s interview, he says he’s not dealing with the way Jax behaves. He’s over it. Brittany  tells them, do what they want to do. Tom wishes Jax would stop… Schwartz says, being an a-hole.

Brett and Dayna go to Hyde, another restaurant Charli works at. Dayna is excited for Brett to see her in a comedy setting. Charli asks if flannel is Brett’s thing, and he says, no, but we flash back to seeing him only in flannel shirts. Dayna says, he’s like a sexy Paul Bunion, but Charli says, is he? In Dayna’s interview, she says she likes Brett, and wants to see where it goes. They work at the same restaurant, they’re both single AF, they’re both hot, and have the same interests. Brett tells her that he talked to Max, and asked how he felt. He can tell something is there, and that’s the kind of friend he is. In Brett’s interview, he says, he asked Max about lunch, and he was cool. He asked about kissing Dayna, and Max was cool, but when he asked about having sex, he hit a wall. They’re murky waters, but he’s got a big boat. Onward, going at 55 knots. In the parking lot, Dayna says, it was a great night, and they kiss.

Brittany comes home, and tells Jax that he’s not going believe it. She saw Tom at work, and he and Ariana are having a pool party at the same time they are. Jax asks, why? and she says she doesn’t know. Maybe they got mad about him texting Max. Jax says everyone begged him to have Tom back in the wedding, and he shouldn’t have. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s been one thing after another. Tom didn’t come to the bachelor party, and made a scene about his pastor. Now he’s throwing a pool party the same day. What’s his problem? He asks Brittany, why are they doing this? It’s time they were done with Tom and Ariana. Brittany says it makes her sad. They have a blow-up slide coming. It’s petty. Jax says, Tom has been petty his whole life. He imitates Tom saying, oh, look what Jax wrote. He tells Brittany, he’s worse than a child. Brittany says she was there, and maybe if Jax wouldn’t have rage texted… Jax says, so she’s saying it’s all his fault? She says she’s just saying if he hadn’t messaged in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened. Jax says he’s going to the gym. Brittany says, it’s the third time today, and asks if that’s where he’s really going. He says she can track him on his phone.

On Instagram, Jax says he’s taking so many classes, his wife thinks he’s leading a double life. In his interview, he says, it’s his therapy. It’s like textbook 101; when you’re angry, walk away. Shouldn’t that be anger 101? Lisa goes to TomTom, and tells the Toms they’re doing a big photo shoot for the Hollywood Reporter. They’re going to highlight all of the businesses together. Tom asks, what about having a year anniversary party after the shoot? Ken says they actually made a profit in the first year. Do they want to nearly double their money? Lisa says they’re looking at next door, and they can knock through and make it part of TomTom, or keep it separate. If it’s part of TomTom, it will be called The Garden at TomTom, but if it’s separate, it will just be The Garden. Ken says, they can invest the profit, and have 10%. Lisa says she’d like see them throw in; it’s been a great year. Schwartz says, it’s been rewarding, fulfilling, and he’s learned so much. Lisa says she’s going to cry. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, at times, the partnership was rocky. We flash back to some of that, and he says, but they made it through the first year, and turned a profit. Holy sh*t. Lisa says they need to know by Monday. Tom says he has to talk it over with Ariana, and Lisa says, that’s what he should do. Lisa and Ken leave, and Tom says, it’s decision time. Schwartz says he feels like a stud.

In his InstaStory, Jax says the women instructors are hard. They make the male instructors look like little girls. Lala visits Brittany, and says she was just texting Brittany’s hubby. Brittany says, he’s being cray-cray. Jax calls Lala, and she says she’s going to Dayna’s comedy show. He tells her not to go to Tom’s pool party. She tells him, calm down, and go workout. He says he works out so much, his wife thinks he’s messing around. What wife yells at their husband for going to the gym? Brittany says, that’s not what she did. He’s spiraling out of control, and is doing the same things he did before, and he’s going crazy on her friends. Calm down, and stop texting. She loves him. She tells Lala, he hung up. She can’t keep dealing with this crap. She’s wondering why he’s acting like this again. Lala asks if he was reactive before, and Brittany says, yes. She doesn’t want him to go back to those ways. In Brittany’s interview, she says she worked hard to forgive Jax, but even though she’s forgiven him, she hasn’t forgotten. She tells Lala that Jax is stirred up again. She’s wondering if anyone is coming, and they need a DJ. Lala asks if she should ask James, and calls him. She says Brittany and Jax are having a pool party, and she thought she’d reach out to see if he can DJ. Brittany says they thought it would be fun. James stammers a little, and says he appreciates being invited, but he already said yes to Tom. Lala says she totally gets it. When she hangs up, Brittany asks why would Tom plan something at the same time? He’s being a jerk. One person does wrong, so the other person does too. Lala says, it’s sad, and Brittany says, it’s hard to deal with when Jax is texting all of her friends.

Once again Instagramming, Jax films the outside of the gym, and says, it’s his new house, where his wife is going to divorce him because spent too much time there. Lala arrives at the comedy club, and Beau and Stassi tell her that they’ve been practicing their comedy laughs. Max shows up, followed by Brett, and Stassi says, it’s sweet. They both came to support their girlfriend. Max gives Brett a reluctant fist bump. Max asks if Brett talked to Scheana, and Brett says she just texted, asking where they’re going afterward. Stassi says, somewhere nearby, and he asks if Nighthawk is around there. A guy comes out, and does a bit using Max and Beau’s names, then introduces Dayna, who, from what little we see, isn’t bad. In Stassi’s interview, she says, Dayna has a cynical view of world that’s actually funny. Her negativity makes Stassi laugh. Dayna joins them when she’s done, and they tell her she did good. On Instagram, Jax says he has an update. His ring is back on, and his marriage is still okay. A million people keep asking, where’s his ring?

Lisa goes to the bar at SUR, and asks Ariana how she is, and if all is well. Ariana says she’s seeing a lot of the work she did over the summer come to fruition, and their book is coming out. (FYI, I got it for Christmas.) Lisa is glad to hear Ariana is doing well, and reminds her about Covenant House. Ariana says she has some clothes and cosmetic stuff. In Lisa’s interview, she says, Covenant House is a place for at risk youth that helps them transition into adulthood. She says she’ll meet Ariana there, and Ariana says, the only problem going on is the pool party thing. Lisa asks what she means, and Ariana tells her that Jax and Brittany are having a pool party. Everyone was going, and Jax started uninviting everyone. Some of them said Tom and Ariana have a pool; why not have their own pool party? Lisa says, not on the same day and time, but Ariana says, if you bully your friends for years, that’s what happens. Everybody says, screw them. What’s anyone losing by not being friends with Jax? She makes Ariana promise that when they see each other at work, it will be productive and go with a positive attitude.

Lala tells Dayna, she can finally relax; she killed her show. The group goes to Nighthawk, and Dayna thanks them for coming. Stassi says, it was a relief that Dayna was so great. She should be proud of herself. Scheana joins them, and says she could literally walk there, but she didn’t because she’s going out after this. She brings up the competing pool parties, and Lala says, that’s effed up. Scheana says she’s shooting, so she can’t go to either of them. She asks if they’re picking one or pool party hopping. Lala says she’s not going to a frat house that has no furniture, and they don’t even know if there will be food. She’ll be at Jax and Brittany’s like an adult. Scheana says, Jax texted her that she was dumb, and shouldn’t have planned to video on that day. Stassi says, for real she has to talk to him. In Stassi’s interview, she says, someone needs to say something, and she feels she’s one of the only people who can. To be frank, she thinks Jax is kind of scared of her. Lala says she heard Brett and Dayna made out. In Dayna’s interview, she says, note to self; don’t tell Lala sh*t. Lala asks, what’s the vibe? and Dayna says, there’s no vibe. Max makes fun of Dayna, and she asks if he has a problem. What did she do to him? He says she made out with his best friend. He told her how he felt. She says, he was ambiguous. We flash back to Max telling Dayna, he’s cool, but not cool. He says, she needs to control her sh*t, and Stassi says Dayna doesn’t owe Max anything. Max says he also told Brett, and Brett says he’s been honest with Max. Dayna says, they like each other and have similar interests. Brett says he respects his and Max’s friendship, and Dayna knows that. Scheana asks why they were making out, and Dayna tells her, STFU. Max thinks Brett is lying to him, and tells Brett to look him in the eye, and tell him that he doesn’t have feelings for Dayna. Brett insists he doesn’t. He’s interested in her, and they’re close, she’s someone he likes having in his life, but he doesn’t have feelings for her. I’m not sure what he calls it then. Lala says, that doesn’t even make sense (thank you). Scheana asks why they made out multiple times, and Beau says Dayna is the one feeling the most embarrassed and hurt. Stassi says, everyone has to pick a lane. Lala says, ya’ll are real messy right now, and Max tells Dayna, don’t make out with his friends. Dayna tells Max, STFU.

Back on the Gram, Jax says the male instructors must have heard him calling them girls, and took it out on him. He just had two classes that were hard as hell. At Covenant House, Lisa, Brittany, and Ariana sort the clothes. Lisa remembers when she fit in them. She asks how Brittany is, and Brittany says, it’s been a rough couple of days. Jax was rage texting, and the others got mad. They started fighting, and it trickled over. Lisa says, these are the best moments of Jax’s life; he has a new house, and just got married. Brittany says, it’s sad. Tom hurt her feelings. Everyone had to choose where to go. She feels like she tried hard. Ariana says, maybe Jax hurt their feelings. Brittany is collateral damage. Brittany says she knows, but they need to have respect for her like she does for them. In Ariana’s interview, she says she wishes Brittany could just be mad at Jax, since he created the problem. She’s married to this guy, so she married the problem. Ariana says, if not for Brittany, she doesn’t know how many friends Jax would have. Brittany thinks everyone, except for Tom, and in her interview, Ariana says, she’s not friends with Jax now.

Katie and Schwartz go to lunch, and he tells her about the one year anniversary party. It’s special night; more than she knows. They have the opportunity to parlay the initial profits into an expansion, or they can take the check, and Lisa will create a separate entity. Katie says, parlay. In Katie’s interview, she says she feels like they’ve come a long way. She feels like they’re a team. She doesn’t want to tell him what to do, but thinks he knows. He says he loves her. Katie looks at her phone, and wonders, what the hell happened? Brittany texted and said Ariana let her know that the pool party was Katie’s idea in the first place. Schwartz says, propaganda, and Katie says, she got the same story from Lala. It’s not cool. Katie calls Brittany, getting all teary. Brittany says she’s not blaming Katie. She just said it happened because of Katie. Katie says, no one is saying that. Brittany says Katie rage texts all the time, and should go easy on Jax. Schwartz says Katie took accountability, and she’s being an idiot. Katie hangs up, and says, go easy on Jax? It’s 150% his fault.

Everything is set up at Jax and Brittany’s, including the giant slide. Jax comes in, and Brittany says he looks muscular. He says, that’s what happens when you go to the gym three times a day. He’s going through crap in his head, and says things he doesn’t mean, so instead he likes to go to the gym. Brittany says Tom still hasn’t apologized, and Katie isn’t coming. Jax says, and it’s his fault. Everything he’s done, they’ve done, but the spotlight is on him. He told Brittany, do not trust these people.

Tom and Ariana get ready. Tom makes James an unleaded cocktail. Katie tells them about the text she got from Brittany, saying the pool party was all her idea, and go easy on Jax about the rage texts, since she does it too. Tom says she texts at 3 am, and isn’t manipulative. Schwartz says he’s staying out of it. People start to arrive. There’s a tent in the backyard, along with a hookah, and James in the DJ booth. Tom thanks everyone for coming, and Ariana says, let’s get wasted.

Brit cooks, while crickets chirp. A lone rubber ducky floats in the pool. Jax says they only have eight people coming, but they’re the ones he wants there. Brett, Lala, Stassi, and Beau arrive. In Charli’s interview, she says, Tom and Ariana’s pool party is lit. Who wants to be at Jax’s retirement party anyway? He’s closer to her dad’s age than hers. Katie says, Dayna has two guys, and Dayna says, and half the commitment. She still doesn’t have a whole man. Brett says Max texted him, and said he felt super bummed out and betrayed. He doesn’t want to act like it’s okay anymore. He’s staying home. Brett says he’s always been bro’s before ho’s. In Stassi’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if Brett is a poet, a philosopher, or a d-bag. Brett says all they did was make out, and it’s like World War II. Jax informs Brett hat he used to put his d*ck in anything that moved.

Dayna tells Ariana that she’s hot. Someone should screw and love her, and she’s not doing either. Katie says, that’s healthy, natural, and normal. Ariana says, there are a ton of other dudes and ladies out there. Carter thanks Ariana for having them, and Ariana asks if they’re back together. Kristen says, they’re dating. Kristen says she got a text that Stassi is making fun of their party, and Ariana says, Regina George. Stassi is a snob ass bitch. Kristen says they were making fun at Tom and Ariana not having furniture. Ariana says if she hears anyone talking sh*t about her house, she’ll clock them.

Tom asks Schwartz what he thinks about Lisa’s proposal. Schwartz says, it’s tempting to just take the check. In Tom’s interview, he says, the bigger the venture, the more potential for failure. Schwartz says he poured his heart and soul into this place, and Tom says Schwartz is his effing boy. Schwartz wants it to be this way until the day they die. James comes in, and Tom thanks him. James says it keeps him busy, and that’s a good thing to be. Tom says James has come a long way. Monday. TomTom is having its one year anniversary party. Could he possibly DJ? James says, he’d 100% love to. Tom says James being humble pie is sexy. Schwartz likes it when James is cocky too. A little part of him misses the a-hole. Katie says, WTF? James has shown a vulnerability she hasn’t seen, and didn’t think he would ever show. He’s shown growth. She wanted to rip his head off, and put it in the paper shredder. James says he’s sorry, and they hug it out. James says he hasn’t felt this good in a minute.

Stassi tells Jax, they need to talk. She feels like with what he’s doing texting people, from the outside, it looks like he’s losing his mind. He says, he is. She asks, why? and he says he doesn’t know. In his interview, he says he’s sprained his brain. When you sprain your ankle, you don’t walk on it. That’s the way the brain works. He tells Stassi, on paper, it looks like he hit the lottery, but he’s not happy. He’s not allowing himself to have a good time. Stassi says, it’s not like he’s an a-hole once a year; he’s an a-hole all the time. He says he has downtime now, and wonders if he did the right thing. What if his wife thinks he can’t make her happy? Stassi says, she is happy, and he says, it’s a lot of pressure. Stassi says, he wants to sabotage his relationship; it’s a pattern he has. Jax says, how he hurt people used to be cheating. He’d take it out on someone else. She says he has to allow the struggle, feelings, emotions, and mental health, but he has control over how he treats people. He says he’s afraid he’s going to take it out on Brittany.

Next week, the season finale, TomTom’s anniversary party, SUR’s group photo, Lisa tells Jax to take care of his wife, Max says Dayna is on a high horse, Stassi says the Witches of WeHo is done-o, and Tom tells Jax not to act like he has an effing hall pass.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Kelly gives Lushion a huge kiss, and Carl thinks that’s his cue to say goodbye. Lushion says, it’s not a cue. Carl tells Kelly that he never wants to see her under these circumstances again, and she guarantees he won’t. He says he’ll say goodbye then; awkward. Lushion says, nothing is awkward, and Kelly asks if she can go now. Carl says, yes; they’re processing her. She tells him that she’d love to have him for dinner, and he says, great. She says she’ll call him, and thanks them both again. Carl leaves, and Lushion says, what was that? Kelly says she was just happy, and he says, good. She says, he didn’t think… and he says, it was kind of personal. She says she wasn’t coming on to him; she was just happy. She’s sorry he took it the wrong way. He says they can never bring this up again, and she says she wasn’t trying to make a pass at him; she was just happy.

Lushion says, they’re clear? and Kelly says, crystal. Eddie is standing there, filming with his phone, and says he’s got it on camera, crystal clear; full HD. Lushion says, give him the damn phone, or he’ll take it. Eddie says, it looks like Lushion took lip service, and Lushion makes a grab for the phone, but Eddie keeps it out of his grasp. Eddie says, it’s going to Lushion’s wife, and Kelly suggests they tell her themselves. Eddie says, why not wait until he adds music? Kelly walks past her cell, and Eddie asks where she’s going. She says, home. Even with everything Eddie tried, she’s still going home. He asks how hell that happened, and she says wouldn’t he like to know? What the devil meant for evil, God turned into good. He says there she goes with the God stuff again. Has she ever heard of, thou shalt not kill? Enjoy her freedom. It’s the last couple days. Lushion and Kelly walk off, and Eddie calls someone, and says he has a video to edit.

Larry approaches Eddie, who asks if he sees something he likes. Larry says he just needs the $50K Eddie took from him. It’s all fun and games, but this isn’t a game. Does Eddie want to play with him? Eddie asks what Larry is referring to. He didn’t take $50K. Larry says Eddie lied to him; he’d said everything was taken care of. Eddie says he has no idea what Larry is talking about, and Larry says he expects Eddie to reimburse him within 24 hours. Eddie says, keep dreaming; that ain’t gonna happen. Larry says he’s warning Eddie, and Eddie says he’s telling Larry, dream on. Larry says Eddie took money from some very powerful people, who will have no problem giving Eddie more pain and suffering than Larry ever could. It’s his funeral. Eddie says he wants a 21 gun salute, and Larry says, duly noted. Larry calls someone to come to the office; $50K is at issue. Eddie asks if that’s supposed to make him tremble, and Larry says, it’s not rocket science. Eddie says, see him soon, and hold his breath about the $50K.

Bennet (that’s his name, right?) has come home for lunch, and compliments Tanya’s cooling. She thinks he’s just trying to make her feel better, and wonders why Randal keeps throwing things out. It’s weird, right? Bennet tells her not to worry about Randal, and she says, he’s a dork. He just stays home; what does he do? He asks why she wants to know, and she says she’s just curious. He asks if Randal is still bothering her, and she says, no. She asks if Bennet did something, and he says he has to get back to the station. He’ll be home by 5. She thanks him for having lunch with her. She says she wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to leave her. She’s been thinking about calling her parents. They said she could come home. She knows how hard it is on him. He says he doesn’t want to hear about this. He’ll be home for dinner, and if anyone comes to the door, let him know. She says, he’s not going to do anything, is he? She doesn’t want him in trouble. He knows his temper. He says he’s fine. He just wants to know.

Bennet leaves the house, and Randal asks if they can talk a second. He wants to apologize for talking to Bennet’s wife. He thinks they got off on the wrong foot, and he’s really sorry. Bennet says, okay, and Randal asks if Bennet saw anybody come in his house. It was vandalized. Bennet says he didn’t see anyone, and Randal asks if it doesn’t bother him. He told Bennet that his house was just vandalized, and he didn’t say, sorry. Bennet says he really is; it’s terrible. He asks when Randal goes to work, and Randal says, whenever he wants to; why? Bennet says he can keep an eye on Randal’s house. Randal says he’s there all the time, and Bennet says, then how did it happen? Randal says he was seeing a patient. Bennet says, Randal has patients? and Randal says he does. He can help Bennet’s wife. Bennet says they’re good. Are they doing this again? Randal just apologized. Randal asks when Bennet gets back, and Bennet says Randal doesn’t want to test him. Randal says he’s not, and Bennet says he can be a demon from hell, and will protect everything he loves. Randal asks if that’s any way for a firefighter to talk, but Bennet says he’s talking as a former marine. He drives off. Randal stands there for a moment, and goes back inside.

Alex sits at the bar. Johnny joins her, and asks, who was that guy? She says, nobody to be concerned about. Johnny says, it seemed like he knew her, and she says, he’s her neighbor. Johnny says, be sure he doesn’t come around, and Alex says, he won’t if he knows what’s good for him. She needs another drink. He says, coffee for her. She needs to sober up. She says he’s ruining this party, but he tells her that he doesn’t want her to be sick in his bed later. She says he has to understand. She’s been locked in a house playing mommy for she doesn’t know how many years. She’s so tired of it. She wants to get loose, dance, do bad karaoke, and drink. Johnny says, drink coffee. She says, that’s a mom’s drink, and he says, there are a lot of hot moms out there; drink up. He wants her to feel good.

Johnny says it looks like Alex has more company. He’ll leave that to her. Esperanza comes in with Steven, and Alex says, Esperanza wants to ride the bull, but Esperanza says, no. Alex tells Steven, it’s really fun, but he says he’s good. It’s good to see her. She says, it’s good to see him too. Wait a minute. They’re together? Steven asks what she’s drinking, and she says, anything she can get her hands on, but now she needs coffee. Steven says he’ll be at the bar. Johnny tells Steven, if he’s not drinking, he’s got to wait outside. Steven asks if Johnny is sure about that, and opens his jacket, flashing his badge. Johnny says, his apologies. Steven is good to go.

Esperanza sees Alex is drinking coffee; that’s good. Alex asks, what’s up? and Esperanza says Alex is leaving right now. Alex says she’s not going anywhere. She doesn’t want that life anymore. She needs to be free. Esperanza says Alex’s son wasn’t breathing; remember him? She shows Alex a picture on her phone, and Alex looks at it absently. Esperanza wonders if Alex isn’t going to ask how he is, and Alex asks if he’s okay. Esperanza says, he’s fine. He was just sleeping, but Marcie was at Alex’s house, and put him on his stomach. Alex says, dumb bitch, and Esperanza says, Alex is his mom. Alex says, so she’s the dumb bitch now? Esperanza says her son needs her, but Alex says, he needs Brad. Her kids deserve better than her. Esperanza wonders where this is coming from, and asks if Alex is embarrassed about the online thing. Alex says she’s not embarrassed. She doesn’t want that life anymore. How hard is it to comprendé? Esperanza says, so she’s just going to walk away from her kids, and live in a bar with a guy she doesn’t know? She doesn’t know anything about him. Alex knows he’s not Brad, and she’s ready to be a free spirit. Esperanza says she doesn’t care that Brad and Marcie are with her kids? She can explain to the kids why she’s leaving Brad. This is wrong, but at least let them know. She owes them that. Alex says, okay. She has to pack anyway. She tells Johnny that she’ll be right back. She has to pick up some things. He says he’ll be waiting for her.

Bennet goes to the police station, and tells Rick, he’d like to file a report. His neighbor is harassing his wife. He’s constantly harassing her, and going to the house when Bennet isn’t there, and knocking on the door. Rick asks if Bennet had told him to stop, and Bennet says he has, and he won’t. Rick asks his name, and Bennet says, Randal Holmes. Rick says, oh, and Bennet asks if Rick knows him. Rick says, they all know him. It’s something Randal does; it’s not the first complaint. Rick leaves to get the paperwork, and Eddie comes along. Bennet says he remembers Eddie. He’s the officer who helped with his wife. Eddie asks if he’s been keeping his bitch quiet, and Bennet says, his wife’s not a bitch. Eddie says, he’s one of those guys who still respects his woman. What’s he here for? Bennet says he’s filing a report, and Rick comes back with the paperwork. Eddie asks, on who? and Rick says Randal is harassing Bennet’s wife. Eddie says, he’s up to that again? He’ll take care of it. Rick gives Eddie the papers, and leaves. Eddie suggests Bennet skip the paperwork, and he’ll put a bullet in Randal’s head. Bennet says, this isn’t working, and Eddie says he can help out in a major way; all of Bennet’s problems will go away. Bennet says, thanks, but that’s sick. Eddie says, have it his way, and Bennet leaves. Eddie says, dumb ass, and walks away singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.

Carl goes to Larry’s office. Larry says he asked Carl to come to discuss things. This firm needs him. Carl says, really? and Larry asks if Carl is impressed by the firm. Carl says, it’s nice, He’s familiar with their reputation, and hears they’re incredible. Larry asks how he’d like to work there. He can start at $250K, and they charge $500 an hour. Carl is a rock star. Carl appreciates it, and Larry says he’s impressed with the Kelly Isaacs case; how did Carl do it? Carl says he’s persuasive, and Larry says, clearly. Carl says Larry represents his opponent, and he shouldn’t tell him. Larry asks, why? He wants Carl on his team, and doesn’t want to be against him. It will be their little secret. Carl says he can’t do that, and Larry asks if he’s nervous. Carl says, no, and Larry says he spoke to Carl’s law professors, and they said he was a pretty average student. Carl says, he was great, and Larry says he’ll stop the bullsh*t.  He didn’t bring Carl in to offer him a job, but he’s giving Carl a chance. Carl says, for what? and Larry says, tell him how and where he got the information. Carl says he can’t, and Larry says he can and will ruin Carl’s name. He’ll call the bar and tell them Carl made illegal charges. Carl says he didn’t do anything illegal, but Larry begs to differ. Carl says he’s leaving, and Larry says, if Carl walks out, he has no hope for a future law practice. Carl says, have a good one, and Larry says, unfortunate. Carl leaves, and Larry says, another one bites the dust.

Randal takes out a piece of garbage while Tanya is taking out her garbage. Randal says, hi, and she tells him to talk to her. He asks if she doesn’t think it’s weird they’re both out at the same time. She says, don’t talk to her, and he says, okay; he won’t. He wanders across the street, and I say, ugh, out loud. He looks in the garbage, and sees a can of spray paint. He takes it, and goes back home. He compares the color with what’s sprayed on his wall, and storms back out, leaving the can. He stomps across the street, rolling up his sleeves. I have to laugh at that, since he’s like a cartoon. Tanya says she’s going to call her husband if Randal doesn’t leave her alone. He says, so she paints. Has she seen anyone go into his house? She says, no, but he thinks she did. He stands in her doorway, and she tells him, move away or she’ll scream. He says she’s good at screaming, and she says, move. He asks, who was it? Who was good at screaming in her household? Her father, who killed her dog, or her sister? She says she doesn’t have a sister, and he says, somebody is on their meds today. She says her husband will be home soon. He doesn’t like Randal, and Randal needs to be careful of his temper. Randal asks if her husband has temper enough to break in and vandalize his house. She tells him, move away from her door, but he leans further in. He says she can’t get pregnant on her meds. She goes past him, onto the lawn, and starts screaming. Natalie sees, and runs out. Marcie looks out, and sees Randal gesturing and Tanya screaming. Natalie tells Randal to get his ass away from that woman, and he tells her to get in her own damn house. He thought they didn’t come out when they hear stuff. She tells Randal, leave that woman alone. Something bad is going to happen to him. He asks if she’s threatening him, and she says, no, but she’s praying she’ll be there when it happens. She’s calling Tanya’s husband. He’s big, and she can’t wait to see him kick Randal’s ass. Randal makes fun of her, and she grabs a huge tree branch and starts whacking him with it. He says he’ll call the police, but she says she doesn’t care, and chases him back into his house.

Natalie goes to Tanya’s house, and asks if she’s all right. Tanya says, Randal is just being his usual rude self. Natalie says, don’t let him bother her. Just grab a branch, and whack his ass out, then call her. Tanya thanks Natalie for not judging her. She knows her husband told Natalie about her condition. Natalie says he did. Just take her meds and keep going. If Tanya needs her, she’s right there.

Marcie meets Natalie outside, and asks, what about Randal? Natalie says, he was after Tanya. She asks if Marcie is watching the baby, and Marcie says, her and Brad. Natalie says, you’re not supposed to put a baby on their stomach, and Marcie says she didn’t know. Natalie asks if she’s sure, and Marcie asks what she’s saying. Natalie says Marcie knows you’re not supposed to do that, but Marcie insists she didn’t know. She would never hurt the baby; he’s beautiful. Natalie tells her, call if she needs anything. Marcie asks if Natalie thinks Alex isn’t coming back, but Natalie doesn’t know.

Marcie goes back in the house, and Brad comes downstairs. He asks if he heard screaming (note to self: never rely on Brad in an emergency), and Marcie says, it was the neighbor across the street. He asks if she’s okay, and Marcie says, Randal was harassing her. He asks if he should check on her, but she says Natalie already did. Alex rolls in, with Esperanza and Steven, and Brad asks where she’s been. She says she’s here to get her stuff, and Esperanza says, and talk to the kids. Alex repeats, and talk to her kids. Brad asks if she’s drunk; she smells like alcohol. Alex says, alcohol, and probably sex. She’s sure they understand. Back the hell up then, and she’ll be gone in a minute. Brad says, fine. He’s taking the house. She says, fine with her. He can have this boring, piece of sh*t, cookie-cutter bullsh*t. He says he’s taking full custody of the kids, and she says, thank you. It’s perfect for all of them. She heads for the liquor cabinet, telling Steven, excuse me, sir. Steven grabs her before she can grab the liquor. Brad says the kids can’t see her like this. She needs to clean herself up. Alex says Brad needs to back off. She starts to go upstairs, but Brad stops her. She says she tried, and flounces out the door. Esperanza tries to catch her, but she’s halfway down the block, and says, I’m out, bitches. She strides down the street. Esperanza tells Steven, she needs to come to her senses, but he says there’s nothing they can do for her. Alex bangs on Randal’s door, and he says, what the hell? She tells him that she needs a drink, and walks past him into the house. Everyone is like, what?

Steven tells Esperanza that Alex will be fine, and steers her back to the car. Randal asks Alex, what the hell is wrong with her? and she asks where the booze is. She finds some, and asks, what the hell happened in here? She laughs, and he says, get the hell out. She says let her finish her drink. She drains the glass, and he says, get the hell out of his house. She says, gladly, and unzips his pants. He says, get the hell… out of… his house…

While Natalie is cleaning up, Eddie walks into her house. She grabs a knife, and says, did he just walk in the door? He says, it was unlocked, and she asks if he’s lost his mind. He says, a while ago. She asks what makes him think he can walk into somebody’s house, and he says, white MF’ing privilege. He can do what he wants. She tells him, get the hell out of her house right now. He says the last time she came at him with a knife, he tazed her ass. He shows her the screen on his phone, and says, look.

Next time, Ian tells Larry that he’s trying to protect the firm, Eddie asks Randal what’s wrong with him, and Eddie tells Natalie to check on what’s going on.

🌇 Later Than Late…

Since I have to get some of that pesky sleep, see you at the same time tomorrow, but earlier. Meanwhile, stay busy, stay active, but don’t stay around too many people yet.